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SOME SIDE-LIGHTS ON THE OXFORD
MOVEMENT.

ROEHAMPTON :
PRINTED BY JAMES STANLEY.

SOME SIDE-LIGHTS ON THE
OXFORD MOVEMENT

MINIMA PARSPARTIS

LONDON AND LEAMINGTON
ART AND BOOK COMPANY
1895

Much has been written during the last
few years concerning the Oxford Move
ment. The present volume may perhaps
not be without interest, inasmuch as it
relates the influence of Tractarian prin
ciples on some of that comparatively
insignificant, but not wholly unimportant,
section of the community — the Young
Ladies of England.
The story is intended for women. As,
however, the foolish things of the world
have sometimes confounded the. wise, it
may possibly contain a message for the
men to whom they have been given as
help-meets.

A*

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I. . . .1
Impressions on first entering a Catholic church. Woodchester
and the Passionist Fathers. St. Paul's words about Purgatory.
A controversial and disquieting discussion on the veneration
of saints.
The Gorham case. My two friends and their parents. Sybella's
views on Baptismal Regeneration. The sermons of Mr.
Robbins. Perplexity as to how to behave in church so as
not to displease any of my lawful superiors. Brother Martin
and his penances. Dr. Pusey's teaching on the necessity of
self-denial. The foreign devotional works translated and
edited by Dr. Pusey and their effect. Observance of saints'
days.
Oswald Middleton and his influence over us. Mr. Sewell's works.
A country church some forty years ago. Mr. Dean. Bishop
Samual Wilberforce and his Confirmation addresses. His
mind an essentially Protestant one.
Life frofn ten to fourteen. Letters from friends. The freedom
of the Church from State trammels predicted. Sybella's
account of Mr. Magee's sermon on self-denial. Some letters
from Milly.
CHAPTER II. .... 33
The Ancient British Church entirely independent of Rome.
The opinions of a High Churchman on Roman corruptions
and Anglican errors. A speedy union between Rome and
England predicted. The Papal Aggression in connection
with the validity of English Orders. Conduct of the English
Bishops in Elizabeth's reign. Uncertainty as to the com
petency of Barlow to consecrate Parker, and as to the form
actually used in Parker's consecration. Excite'ment at Bath
caused by the Papal Aggression. Mr. Robbins' discourses
on the subject. The regret they, caused my mother...

viii Contents.

Removal to Clifton. Preparation for Confirmation. Spiritual
books. Mr. Herbert Graham. Archdeacon Manning's
sermons. His secession.
Interview with Dr. Pusey. Milly. Her feelings about High
Church views. Her account of the religious vagaries of her
cousin. Her thoughts about the Church of St. Barnabas,
Pimlico. Description of Dr. Christopher Wordsworth and
an S.P.G. meeting.
CHAPTER III. . 58
A Latitudinarian friend. His influence. Sir James Stephens'
Essays in Ecclesiastical Biography. His estimate of
St. Ignatius Loyola and of the Spiritual Exercises. The
Catholic type of sanctity not understood outside the Roman
Catholic Church.
Visits to Convents in and near Clifton. Converts to Catholicism.
Mr. Aubrey de Vere urges the duty of inquiry into the
claims of the Roman Catholic Church. The testimony of
those who have submitted to her guidance. The English
Church powerless to witness to the truth. It allows contra
dictory doctrines to be taught. Oswald's views on the duty
of inquiry. His sister Ethel a resolute defender of the
Anglican Church. She undertakes to read Milner's End oj
Controversy and other Catholic works. Several letters from
her. The Councils of Nice and Chalcedon. Extracts from
Anglican writers to show that the Papal Supremacy was not
recognized by these Councils. Answer.
Moehler's Symbolism. The unity of the Church, the proof of
her Divine Mission. Oswald's views of the impossibility of
arriving at certainty. Evil of such views.
CHAPTER IV. . gg
Misgivings excited by Protestant calumnies. Their effect on
the imagination. Mr. de Vere's advice on the importance of
attending only to the one question : Is there a Divine Teacher
in the world ? The question can never be a subordinate one.
Difficulties to be surmounted. Necessity for perfect sincerity.
Visits in Ireland. Newman's book on Anglican difficulties. The
effect it produced. Why the principles of the Oxford move
ment made it impossible for those who would retain them, to
remain in the English Church. Lessons learnt from the first
seven lectures. The difficulties dealt with, in the second

Contents. ix

part of the work. The superiority of Protestant States in
material prosperity. The world and the Church have
different standards of right and wrong. Protestants cannot
understand that faith may exist without works. That there
is perfect unity of doctrine throughout the Roman Catholic
Church, an undeniable fact. A parallel to the position of
the Greek. Church to be found in that of the Nestorians.
It is • no argument in favour of Anglicanism. Consoling
reflections with regard to those who have been brought up in
heresy and schism. Arguments derived from ecclesiastical
history in favour of the Church of Rome.
Return to Clifton. Depression of spirits. Mr. Manning's
Lectures giving the reason for his secession. Oswald's
remarks about them. Reflections about Faith. Two letters
from Mr. Aubrey de Vere. Our Lady of La Salette. Analogy
between the manifestations of God recorded in the Old Testa
ment and those which take place in the Catholic Church.
CHAPTER V  139
Letters from Mr. de Vere. God's action through secondary
agencies. The intercession of God's Saints and the one
Mediator. Holy Scripture and the honour due to the Saints.
A question for the Church, rather than for private judgment.
The functions of the Church. Our duties towards the Church.
Doctrines not defined by the Church until definition is necessary.
Many examples of the cultus- of the Saints in the first
centuries. Their intercession referred to in the ancient
Liturgies. The Roman Liturgy. Explanation of certain
prayers for Saints. The Notes of the Church in their plain
ness.
The old Cathedrals of England, and some thoughts which they
suggest.
Protest of the High Church party at the time of the Gorham
judgment. If the Church of England did not proclaim her
faith in Baptism because she had no power of making her
voice heard, she found power of voice to pronounce judgment
against the Papal Supremacy. On that doctrine her members
were agreed.
Authority found only in the Catholic Church. Her " Notes "
easily perceived even by the unlearned.
The point really at issue. Are the difficulties greater now than
they were at Pentecost ?

Contents.

CHAPTER vi. . ... 167
High Church friends. Mr. Allies' book on St. Peter, his Name
and his Office. Ethel's opinion on the danger of a hurried
inquiry. A Colonial Bishop points out the danger of any
inquiry at all. Margaret Percival. Her uncle's advice,
A long letter from Milly. Her views. Her fears. Her desire
for the restoration of the godly discipline of penance. Her
appreciation of suffering, mental and physical. Description
of the death she wished to die. How her wish was realized.
Archdeacon Wilberforce's Sermons On the New Birth of Man's
Nature. Dr. Arnold's opinion of the English divines. Wrong
ideas about the Sacramental system.
Charles Kingsley's novels. First visit to Oxford. Ethel's letters
from Scotland. Her description of the Presbyterian service.
Extracts from Diary on religious difficulties. Letters from
Mr. Aubrey de Vere. The " Church of our Baptism." Mr.
Manning comes to Clifton. Interviews with him, and the
effect of them.
CHAPTER VII. . .... 217
Visits to Protestant friends. Vexation. Oswald's collection of
books.
Archdeacon Wilberforce's Treatise on the Holy Eucharist. Its-
definite teaching. This doctrine the key to Christianity.
The Sacred Humanity the appointed channel of grace.
St. Augustine's testimony.
Lessons learnt from study of Archdeacon Wilberforce's book.
Practical difficulties that it suggested. Milly's letters on the
subject. Her doubts and perplexities.
The Holy Communion, by Father Dalgairns. How Christianity
satisfies the yearning of the human soul for union with God.
Jewish saints contrasted with Christian saints. The sixth
chapter of St. John's Gospel.
CHAPTER VIII. ... .... 241
Difficulties in the way of conversion. Reasons why it was
delayed. The Crimean War. A first great sorrow. The
state of the soul after death. Tennyson's In Memoriam.
Letters from sympathizing friends. Prayers for the dead.
Notes of a High Church sermon on the Communion of Saints.
The necessity for penance taught in Scripture. The conso
lations of Purgatory.

Contents. xi

Bournemouth. St. Peter's Church. Spiritual helps in the
English Church. The Definition of the doctrine of the
Immaculate Conception. Mr. Dean's secession. Extracts
from Diary. Thoughts suggested by Mr. Woodford.
Extracts from Mr. Woodford's published sermons. The
punishment that rejection of any article of faith entails.
The mystery of the Gospel. Lectures on the latter part of
the Creed.. The Holy Catholic Church. The Alliance of
Church and State.
Courbon on Mental Prayer. Spiritual consolation. A foreign
tour projected.
CHAPTER IX  284
A foreign tour. Morning at Bruges. High Mass in the
Cathedral. Rubens' pictures at Antwerp and Malines.
Church of St. Appolinaris at Remagen. Arrival in Switzer
land. Than. An earthquake.
Mr. Barker. His ideas and conduct My brother's letters from
Kaadersteg and Weggis. Grindelwald. The churchyard at
Weggis.
Arrival in Italy. Journey from Civita Vecchia. First impres
sions of Rome.
CHAPTER X  3"
The varied attractions of Rome. Its highest interests appre
ciable only by the children of the Church. Aggravating
Protestants. Mr. Barker's remarks on St. Peter's. Visits
to various churches. Benediction at the Trinita dei Monti.
Evening parties. The Sistine chapel. Impressions in Santa
Maria Maggiore. Olivia's lines on the grave of Keats.
Visits to the Catacombs. Description of the chapels and their
paintings. Altercation with Mr. Barker. Christmas Eve.
Midnight Mass at the Trinita. Matins and Lauds, and the
Aurora Mass at St. Peter's. The Pope's Mass. Pius IX.
Mr. William Palmer. His early partiality for the Russian
Church. His visit to Russia. Conversation with him about
his submission to Rome. His method of controversy. His
devotion to his friends. Mr. Palmer's discussion with the
Archimandrite Philaret on the Invocation of Saints.
Mr. Robert Isaac Wilberforce. Visits to the Mamertine Prison
and to the Palace of the Caesars. The Convent of the Trinita
dei Monti. Church of St. Cecilia. Crypt of St. Peter's. The
Christian Museum in the Lateran. A letter from my mother.

xii Contents.

Uneasiness of Mr. Barker. His behaviour. A general upset.
An episcopal warning. My reflections. Some remarks from
Olivia. Mr. Barker's pupil. The last days of the CarnivaL
Studios. Di Rossi, Tenerani, Overbeck. Dome of St. Peter's.
Holy Week. Easter Sunday. Illumination of St. Peter's.
Depression at the thought of leaving Italy. Audience of His
Holiness Pius IX.
CHAPTER XI  379
Regret at leaving Rome. Assisi. Dante's description of
St. Francis and his Bride. Florence in 1856. Thoughts
suggested by the old painters.
The Baths of Lucca. A summer in Tuscany. Extracts from
books. The Divina Commedia.
A second winter in Rome. Drive in the Campagna. Children's
First Communion in a convent. Monsignor George Talbot.
The Aurora Mass in St. Peter's on Christmas morning. Miss-
Congleton. New Year's Eve at the Gesu.
San Lorenzo. Queen Christina. Lady Lothian. Dr. Manning.
Candlemas day. Illness and death of Robert Isaac Wilberforce.
Consecration of the Bishop of Clifton in the Sistine chapel.
Dr. Manning's sermons. The different impressions which
these sermons produced. Devotion to the Blessed Virgin.
Sermon on poverty of spirit. Reflections. Holy Week
services. Easter Sunday.
Visits to sites connected with the holy Apostles. St. Philip Neri's
delight in making the pilgrimage to the Seven Churches.
CHAPTER XII  438
Painful impressions that some Protestants receive from foreign
churches. They do not understand the Catholic idea of
worship. Advantages of familiarity with foreign lands in
youth. The choice of a state of life. Necessity of coming
to a decision about religion. Motives which conduced to
. the decision. The Sacrament of Penance.
Dr. Pusey's satisfaction in the Church of England. Dean
Church's views. Mr. Keble's views. The Christian Year.
Ash Wednesday. The Commination Service.
Father Faber's books and sermons. Difficulties and their
solutions. Interview with Father Faber. Reception into
Church.

CHAPTER I.
Impressions on first entering a Catholic church. Woodchester
and the Passionist Fathers. St. Paul's words about Purgatory.
A controversial and disquieting discussion on the veneration
of saints.
The Gorham case. My two friends and their parents. Sybella's
views on Baptismal Regeneration. The sermons of Mr. Robbins.
Perplexity as to how to behave in church so as not to displease
any of my lawful superiors. Brother Martin and his penances.
Dr. Pusey's teaching on the necessity of self-denial. The foreign
devotional works translated and edited by Dr. Pusey and their
effect. Observance of saints' days.
Oswald Middleton and his influence over us. Mr. Sewell's
works. A country church some forty years ago. Mr. Dean.
Bishop Samuel Wilberforce and his Confirmation addresses.
His mind an essentially Protestant one.
Life from ten to fourteen. Letters from friends. The freedom
of the Church from State trammels predicted. Sybella's account
of Mr. Magee's sermon on self-denial. Some letters from Milly.
It was an epoch in my life when I first entered
a Catholic church (I was but twelve years old).
There was a sense of a longing satisfied — some
thing I had been craving for that I had at last
found. Here was something that was supernatural
— did it come from God or the devil ? Certainly
it was unlike anything in the world.
The church at Woodchester, in Gloucestershire,
to which I refer, had lately been built and was
B

Woodchester and the Passionist Fathers.

then served by Passionists. It is now the Domi
nican Novitiate, and a large Priory is attached to
it. In those days the church stood alone, and
the Passionist Fathers lived in an ordinary little
house close by. They were Italians mostly, and
we made friends with one of them, Father
Honorius. He gave us each a little crucifix,
which much delighted me, and which I have
worn ever since. He told us about Father
Ignatius Spencer, who, he said, had been at
Woodchester. Then he explained to us the Rule
of St. Paul of the Cross, which is one of the most
severe of modern times, and when one of our
party rather carped at asceticism and the neces
sity for so much self-denial and mortification,
Father Honorius pointed to an inscription in the
church: "When Christ, Who is our Life, shall
appear, then shall we also appear with Him in
glory. Mortify, therefore, your members." Often
afterwards did I think of those words, and con
trast the lives of the Passionist Fathers with the
standard of Christian life set before us in the
so-called Church of our Baptism.
We had a discussion with the Father about
Purgatory, and he quoted St. Paul's words in his
first Epistle to the Corinthians (c. iii. 12 — 15), and
asked us how we explained them. We undertook
to send an explanation. Mant and d'Oyley were
consulted, but we were somewhat dismayed at the
feebleness of those commentators when treating
of the passage in question. However, we had to

A Controversial Discussion. 3
forward the explanation, such as it was, to
the good Padre, and in return came a very
long answer with cogent arguments from Holy
Scripture in proof of Purgatory. This letter
we looked on as a great treasure, and read and
re-read many a time. Father Honorius also lent
us some of Dr. Wiseman's essays.
One of our visits to Woodchester was rather
disturbing. We were a large party, and amongst
the number was the incumbent of a London
church, a gentleman of an argumentative turn of
mind, very sure of the superiority of his position,
and very anxious to improve the occasion. So
in the sacristy, where we were being shown some
vestments, he made some insulting observations
about idolatry as practised in the Roman Church.
The Italian Father, who did not possess much
English, was kindly trying to put him right, when
in came a recent convert, who grasped the
situation at once and immediately joined in the
discussion. " I beg your pardon, sir," he said to the
parson, "but are you married?"
"Yes, I am," was the expected answer.
" Then, why did you say to your wife in the
marriage ceremony, 'With my body I thee
worship ' ? Was not that idolatry ? "
The question was aggravating, but very much
to the point. The discussion was pursued, and
I appreciated the logic displayed by the Catholic
controversialist, but our friend was not so well

The Gorham Case.

pleased at being handed over to one of his own
nationality, thoroughly well up in the question,
very different to a benighted Italian. He became
somewhat irritated, and his wife looked as" if she
wished she were anywhere else. As long as she
stood there, witnessing to the fact that her husband
had said he worshipped her, that husband could
not have it all his own way in condemning
Catholics because they worshipped saints. The
result was loss of temper.
It was comic, but also vexatious. I did not
like my peaceful associations with Woodchester
to be disturbed ; it seemed a sort of profanation.
However, I had the comfort of knowing that the
Anglican parson was completely worsted — that
he should be ashamed of himself was too much
to expect.
My mother said, " What a pity it was that our
clergy could not keep their tempers." I was
young and I believed it to be a fact that not
many of the English clergy could keep their
tempers when arguing with Roman Catholics !
This was the time of the celebrated Gorham
case, which brought the doctrine of Holy Baptism
into prominence. I had been taught the orthodox
doctrine and believed it firmly. Some of my
friends were " not sure " about it, and we used to
have great discussions. Sybella was a very stolid
young person, the exact opposite to Milly, her
elder sister, so far at least that whereas the latter
possessed the sense of the ludicrous to an inordi-

Discussions on Holy Baptism. 5
nate degree, Sybella was made quite unhappy
by any want of gravity. She looked on fun as
inconsistent with the seriousness of life. These
young ladies were very well educated. Their
father was somewhat eccentric and lived very
much alone with his books and his family. He
read every book that was worth reading. His
wife shared his literary tastes, but not his anti
social disposition. She possessed a great power
of sympathy with others and was more ready to
make friends than her husband was the reverse.
She and my mother became much attached to
each other, and frequent meetings took place.
And so it came to pass that Sybella was much
thrown with me.
Sybella was three or four years older than I
was and very tall, so I had to look up to her, but
this did not prevent me from being anxious about
her views on Baptism. She did not see that
Baptismal Regeneration could be proved from
the Bible, or indeed that the Bible warranted the
Baptism of infants. I looked up all the passages
that spoke of Baptism. Sybella gave due con
sideration to them, but declared herself uncon
vinced. I found out thus early in life by practical
experience how hopeless it is to prove any
doctrine however plain it may appear to oneself
from the Bible. I myself was just as firmly con
vinced of the truth of Baptismal Regeneration as
I was before we began the discussions, but it was
evident that people might read their Bibles with

6 The Sermons of Mr. Robbins.
a good-will and an earnest spirit and not find it
taught there. But the Church had always taught
it — was that the reason why I believed it so
firmly ?
" Our Church," Sybella said, " did not require
any doctrine to be believed unless it could be
proved that it was contained in Holy Scripture.
The Regeneration of infants could not be so
proved." And yet our Church was very explicit
on the subject of Baptism, quite wonderfully
explicit, compared to the vagueness of her teach
ing on many points. I used to wonder how Mr.
Robbins, the clergyman of our parish, could read
the baptismal service with such unction and
emphasis, and give thanks to Almighty God that
He had been pleased to regenerate this infant,
and then get up into the pulpit and tell the con
gregation that it was a Popish superstition to
believe that any inward grace had been conferred
on the child by the ceremony that it had just
gone through. His remarks on these occasions
were made especially for the benefit of my mother
and of us her unfortunate children whom she was
misleading, as no other members of his congrega
tion were inclined to these " Popish delusions."
He used to denounce very strongly " the bowing
of the head" and "the turning of the body,"
which "some amongst us trusted in for salva
tion." Mother used to insist on our turning
to the east when the Creed was said. This
embarrassed us greatly, as our governess did not

Brother Martin and his Penances. 7
approve of it, and if the curate was reading the
service, Mr. Robbins was in the adjoining pew
to ours, and we had to confront his Protestant
countenance as he stood there with his back
resolutely turned to the altar and feel as though
we were defying him. It did seem hard that our
pew should be almost the only one in the church
which called for this manifestation of principle.
The others mostly faced the east.
Father Honorius had given us a little book
containing the history of Brother Martin — a very
holy youth — and this was our first introduction
to the ascetical life. The quaintness and inge
nuity of Brother Martin's penances delighted us
much. Milly especially was desirous of emulating
them. His proceedings, I need not say, were not
at all in accordance with Sybella's ideas. That
was another point of dispute between Sybella
and me — the necessity of doing penance and
practising self-denial.
I remember a sermon of Dr. Pusey's (it must
have been in his volume of the Plain Sermons, the
third, I think) which was very strong on this point.
He said our Lord taught plainly that unless we
took up the cross and denied ourselves, we could
not be His true disciples, and that what He said
then was just as true now ; there were no other
terms on which we could be His followers ;
He had not died again to open the Kingdom of
Heaven to those whom He had declared unworthy
of Him. Dr. Pusey reminded us that St. Paul

8 Devotional Works edited by Dr. Pusey.
dealt hardly with his body to bring it into subjec
tion and had suffered the loss of all things. The
Tract for ihe Times, too, on " Fasting " made an
impression on me. My mother always taught
us the excellence, or rather necessity, of mortifica
tion and self-denial in food. It was owing to her
example and teaching that I had no Protestant
ideas on the subject, and it is a matter for great
gratitude to have been taught the doctrine of
the Cross from Thomas a Kempis early in life.
Mother used to value The Imitation of Christ.
She had also, though she did not use them so
much, those Catholic books adapted by Dr. Pusey
for the use of members of the English Church,
The Spiritual Combat and The Paradise of ihe
Christian Soul, and from these I imbibed the spirit
of Catholic devotion. I shall always feel that I
owe a great deal to Dr. Pusey for The Paradise.
I do not understand how any one can use that
book and remain long contented in the Church
of England. Dr. Pusey, it is true, cut out the
special devotions to the Blessed Virgin Mary
and the Saints, which however form but a small
portion of the book. What taught me so much,
were the devotions to the Holy Trinity, the
Contemplations on the Divine Perfections, the
Acts of Faith, Hope, and Charity, the Acts of
Contrition, of Gratitude, of Resignation, &c, the
devotions to the Blessed Sacrament and to the
Sacred Humanity. It was by using The Paradise
that I got acclimatized (if I may so speak) to the

Observance of Saints' Days. 9
atmosphere of Catholic doctrine and devotion,
so that when I really found myself within the
Church nothing seemed difficult or strange. It
was from the same source no doubt that the
aversion arose which I soon began to feel to
English forms and ceremonies. The reciting of
the Psalms was what I liked best in the Anglican
service, but it was no sacrifice to me, as I believe
it is to some, to give up our reformed Liturgy,
and I heard " Dearly beloved Brethren " for the
last time without a pang of regret.
Certainly what we were taught at home was
not the same religion as that which was preached
by Mr. Robbins and the majority of the clergy
at that time, and we were week after week much
diverted by the anti-Puseyite discourses we had
to listen to. As a sort of protest we used to be,
taken on Saints' days to a church some three
miles distant where "good Church doctrines"
were preached. These festivals occur about once
a month in the Anglican calendar, and we used
to like them very much. My mother's observance
of them was considered a very bad sign by
Mr. Robbins and his curate.
Our cousin Oswald Middleton was a consider
able personage in our lives for two or three years
about this time. He was at Oxford and much
bent on distinguishing himself there preparatory
to taking Orders, but his hopes received a severe
blow from the failure of his eyesight for all
practical purposes of reading. He was melan-

io Oswald Middleton.

choly in consequence and took the gloomiest
view of men and things. He never could say
anything in a plain way, but had a habit of making
use of the best language he could find, so that
simple folk were apt to be rather perplexed as to
his meaning. We used to read to him a great
deal and to write an analysis of what we read — a
habit he taught me which has been of great
service to me ever since. He was a great admirer
of the writings of Robert Isaac Wilberforce, and
used to speak of The Five Empires by that author
as one of the books that had given him his taste
for reading. Schlegel's Philosophy of History, I
think, was the other.
Oswald was at Exeter College and had there
come under the influence of the Rev. William
Sewell, the author of a romance — and very much
of a romance — bearing on the Roman controversy.
I have a dim remembrance of the fearful ends
that the Roman Catholic personages — Jesuits, I
think— who figured in the tale came to. One
was consumed in melted lead. Another was
devoured alive by rats. The third met with a
fate not less deplorable, but it has escaped my
memory. Another of Mr. Sewell's publications was a
pamphlet which professed to examine The Plea
of Conscience for seceding from the Catholic Church
to the Romish Schism in England. One of the
maxims he laid down for the guidance of the
English Churchman was that he might always

Mr. Sewell's Works. n
trust his conscience when it was prohibitory and
told him not to do a thing. The Ten Command
ments were mostly so framed : " Thou shalt not
covet, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not kill,"
&c, therefore the dictate of conscience might be
trusted when it said, " Thou shalt not leave the
Church of England," but not when it said, "Thou
shalt join the Church of Rome," seemingly over
looking the obvious rejoinder that conscience
might put the matter thus : " Thou shalt not
remain in the Church of England," or that this
rule would authorize a Dissenter to say, " Thou
shalt not join that Apostolical Church." Although
we whom he addressed had not yielded to the
fascinations of the Romish schism, yet we could
not be exonerated altogether from the guilt of
those who had. There was an eloquent passage
describing our shortcomings to which perchance
the error of those misguided men was partly due,
ending with, " And had we prayed for them as
we might have prayed, God's mercy might have
spared them all." It suggested that these unfor
tunate men had somehow through our fault met
with the boiling lead and the hungry rats described
in Hawkestone, but this we knew was not the
case. Christian Morals was the title of a work of
Mr. Sewell's which Oswald was fond of recom
mending to his young lady friends. We read
this when staying with1 our aunt, Mrs. Wrangham,
at Lystone, as also Coleridge's Aids to Reflection

12 An old-fashioned Country Cfotrch.

— another favourite book of Oswald's. We used
to spend some weeks at Lystone every year. It
was in the diocese of Oxford, and Bishop Samuel
Wilberforce, who then occupied that see, was
greatly revered by my mother and my aunt. They
were much impressed by his confirmation charges.
When the time came for my sister Olivia to
receive that rite we went to Lystone that she
might have the benefit of his administration of it.
I wanted to be confirmed at the same time, and
considered myself quite old enough, but Bishop
Wilberforce objected to any one much under six
teen being confirmed. He looked on Confirmation
as the great turning-point for good in life, and
certainly did his best in the exhortations he was
accustomed to give on these occasions to make it
so, and to stamp the remembrance of it indelibly
on the minds of the assembled congregations.
These congregations indeed were unused to being
so addressed. He spoke simply and earnestly.
They could understand, and he took pains that
they should understand what he said. Perhaps
the instructions of their ordinary pastors had
hardly prepared them to view what they were
about to do in so very solemn a light.
Lystone Church was an old-fashioned edifice,
with the pulpit, reading-desk, and clerk's desk
of those days, and the Squire's large square
pew immediately under these erections. The
pew was so situated that conversations used
sometimes to take place between the clergyman

Mrs. Wrangham and her Pew. 13

and Mr. Wrangham or Mrs. Wrangham. Much
went on that was a trial to our gravity, begin
ning with the half-tremulous, half-threatening
intonation of the clerk when he gave out the
first verse of a hymn and called on his soul to
awake and run its daily stage of duty with the
sun. In this exhortation he was vigorously
joined by Mrs. Wrangham, though in her case
the admonition to " shake off dull sloth " was
not often obeyed. She usually managed to drop
asleep during the discourse, sometimes much to
the embarrassment of the other members of the
pew, as when on one occasion she dreamed that
she was being pursued by a mad bull and woke
with a loud shriek.
When old Mr. Baker went away for a time and
left his parish for an indefinite period to the care
of an elderly curate — one Mr. Sherwyn — the
change was considered satisfactory. Mr. Sherwyn
was more active than was his predecessor, and he
tried to do his best. He used to enliven us too with
very curious notices interspersed up and down
the service about blankets which were to be had
of Mrs. Sherwyn on advantageous terms, or about
a sack of potato seed which he had acquired and
which he was willing to share with those who
might wish to purchase a few pecks, or about a
bit of ground for which he required labourers.
On one occasion I remember his having an
altercation with Mrs. Wrangham as to the
Lesson which was to be read. He had given out

14 Mr. Dean of All Souls.
a wrong one according to Mrs. Wrangham's
calendar, whereupon she immediately jumped
up and put him right and quite a long conversa
tion ensued in consequence. Once he announced
in his sermon that it had long been his custom
on Sunday to partake of a cold dinner and "in
the evening," he said, " Mrs. Sherwyn and I take
tea, and I could wish our example were more
generally followed in the parish." Eventually he
took to preaching a farewell sermon every Sunday,
informing us with emotion that this would be his
last appearance amongst us. I was rather touched
the first time I heard this announcement, believ
ing it to be true, till I heard my uncle mutter to
himself, " No such luck ! "
Mr. Dean, then a Fellow of All Souls and
vicar of Lewknor, a village a few miles from
Lystone and not very far from Oxford, was a great
friend of my aunt's. He was very much in the
movement, and possessed an unusual amount of
wit and cleverness, and his statements were
rather startling to those who take everything
quite literally. If my aunt had some ultra-
Protestant friend staying with her, she would beg
of Mr. Dean to be careful of what he said, but
nevertheless, would perhaps hear him shortly
afterwards announce to his indignant listener
that the principal things taught in his parish
school were dancing and the Catechism of Trent.
In these early days we were rather afraid of him.
Later on he became one of my greatest friends.

Bishop Wilberforce's Confirmations. 15
I remember that he gave my sister a little book on
self-examination when she was going to be con
firmed. It was Mr. Sherwyn, however, whom she
interviewed in order to obtain the certificate for
the Bishop that she was duly qualified. Mr. Dean
declared that Mr. Sherwyn's idea of the com
munion of saints was a few neighbours coming
to tea with him and Mrs. Sherwyn, and reading a
chapter in the Bible afterwards.
Confirmation is not regarded as a sacrament
in the Church of England, there being two sacra
ments only, the Catechism says, "as generally
necessary to salvation," whilst the 25th Article
expressly repudiates its sacramental character.
But as young people are not admitted to " the
Lord's Supper "as a rule in the Church of
England till they have been confirmed, the
importance which in the Catholic Church is
attached to First Communion seems to have
been transferred to Confirmation. Bishop Wilber
force, as I have said, made the rite very impressive.
He was accustomed to watch the conduct and
countenances of all the candidates. If he saw any
who appeared distracted or less serious than they
should be, he would mention it and address the
culprits publicly in his charge — and when the
turn came for them to approach the altar-rails
he would speak separately to each one and
advise him or her to stay away unless duly pre
pared, and sorry for the smile or the wandering
looks which had given rise to the admonition.

1 6 Bishop Wilberforce and his Clergy.
Much confusion and even tears ensued. " Con
firmation," he said, " is not a charm. The laying
on of my hands will not do you a bit of good
unless your dispositions are right." Dear old
Mr. Sherwyn was so pleased with the Bishop's
address that at one part he began to rub his
hands vigorously as though he were about to
clap. This occasioned the Bishop to stop and
look at him with great sternness. It did not tend
to restore that prelate to good-humour with
him when, after we were all assembled in the
Parsonage, Mr. Dean chose to allude to Mr.
Sherwyn's having spoken on a- recent occasion
of Cranmer, Ridley, and Latimer as the founders
of our holy religion !
Bishop Wilberforce has been accused of treat
ing his clergy with great imperiousness, as though
they were quite an inferior race of beings. He
had very exalted ideas of the office of an English
Bishop, but he had no reverence apparently for
the English priesthood. Indeed his was an
essentially Protestant mind, wholly destitute of
Catholic instincts. Unlike many who were not
considered more High Church than he was
— he never grasped the doctrine of the Eucha
ristic Sacrifice. It is not therefore to be won
dered at that he did not consider his clergy
entitled to honour in virtue of their calling.
Mr. Allies' view of him in A Life's Decision may
seem perhaps too severe. Mr. Dean used to
say that he forgave Bishop Wilberforce much

His anti-Catholic Spirit. ly
on discovering that he had a great deal more
heart than head, and it was this no doubt that
endeared him so much to his family. I remember
with what affection his brother spoke of him and
what excuses he made for his anti-Catholic spirit
on the ground that the Bishop's life was one of
such excitement and rush that he never gave
himself time for thought. " He will not face his
position," Mr. Henry Wilberforce said. " If he
could but have an illness and be forced to think,
or if all his occupations were taken from him
and he could be alone with himself for half an
hour, I should have hopes of his conversion."
The words surprised me not a little; anyhow,
the half-hour did not come; the illness which
was to effect such a change was never sent. On
a summer afternoon, on a sunny, pleasant down,
suddenly and without a moment's warning that
life of ceaseless activity came to an end. Men
of the world said, " Let my last end be like his,"
and of the more religious not a few echoed the
words, for "surely," said they, "no one was
better prepared to die."
But in the days of which I am writing many
years of work and enjoyment were before Samuel
Wilberforce. Mr. Allies was still at Launton,
giving trouble to him whom he called the modern
Vigilantius, and the bust of Henry Edward
Manning at Cuddesdon was not yet covered with
a veil !

1 8 Life from ten to fourteen.

The four years from ten to fourteen seem
equal to three or four times as many in after
life. How very long a time it was one seemed
to be in growing up and coming to what
is called years of discretion. And how much
one resented being treated as a small child
and being supposed not to understand things.
One attraction in my aunt Wrangham was
that as a rule she gave very young people
credit for being just as capable as their elders.
This habit of hers and the line of conduct it
induced was a trial to the governesses and in
structors of youth with whom she came in con
tact. She would say when she saw us studying
languages and history, we should not know
nearly as much when we were forty. She was
a great enemy to over- education and any
pursuit that interfered with taking plenty
of bodily exercise and being much in the
open air.
The monotony of our life was varied by visits
to Lystone and to the houses of other relatives,
and by the friends my eldest brother used to bring
home. These were usually older than himself,
and were particularly nice quiet youths. I call
them youths, but in those days we looked on any
one of twenty-one or twenty-two years of age as
quite old. They generally began or ended by
falling in love with Olivia. She being still in the
school-room was not supposed to think of such
things, although by the time she was seventeen

Letters from Friends. 1 9
she had lived through more than one little
romance. I find a good many letters which bring back
those days, and it may be as well to insert two
or three belonging to the last year of our life
in Gloucestershire, which bear more or less on
religion. The first is from a cousin. "August 9th, 1850.
"... Mrs. N  thinks the vicinity of the
Fathers very dangerous and does not at all like
hearing of your going to Woodchester. She
seems to think it tampering with Romanism in a
most unnecessary manner, but I have not many
fears of your conversion, attractive as the Fathers
doubtless are ; and I confess I should like as a
matter of curiosity once to pay them a visit.
" I did read the opinions of the press in The
Guardian last week, and was rather amused at
the differences in opinion on the same subject.
Our friend takes a very hopeful view of the case,
and as you wish to know his opinion I will kindly
transcribe what he says : ' I was very much
interested with the notices of the meeting from
the different newspapers. Altogether, I think the
gathering most encouraging and begin to have
real hopes for the vitality of the Church in
England— not however as joined to the State. I
don't think anything can save it from virtual
extinction if that bond is kept up'; but everything

20 Predictions about the Church.

seems to me to point the other way ; and a few
years hence we shall I think see the Church free
and effective. Now she is neither. It is a very
mockery to appeal to the results or rather the
fruits (to use Scripture language) as our test of
the system in proof of its adaptation to the end
which it professes. It has not come near to
purifying a peculiar people zealous of good
works.' "And again, 'The times are past for a building
standing by its own weight ; it may do so when
the air is calm and still. The storms and gusts
that are now rising about every institution will
overthrow all that have not a foundation : the
Church has one, but it is not Downing Street or
even Windsor.' "
Our dear friends the Burtons had moved to
Bath, and Sybella in the following letter refers to
the discussion at Woodchester before alluded to,
and details her views about self-denial as expressed
by Mr. Magee (afterwards Bishop of Peterborough
and Archbishop of York), who was then a popular
preacher at Bath.
" Thanks for your letter which I was delighted
to receive. Jem told us of your expedition to
Woodchester and also the substance of the argu
ment, with which I suppose you were very much
edified. I wonder which had the greatest weight
— the Father's opinions or those of our clergymen?

Sybella's Views on Self -Denial. 21
How very sorry you will be when thesejPassionist
Fathers leave ! I only hope the friars ' of orders
black ' will not be so attractive. . . .
" I must now give you a slight account of
Mr. Magee's sermon yesterday, more especially
as it was on a subject on which we have so often
talked together, viz., self-denial and bearing the
cross, from the text ' He that beareth not his
cross and cometh after Me cannot be My disciple,'
but the view he took of it more coincided with
what I vainly attempted to express, than with
your favourite sermon of Dr. Pusey's.
" He began by saying that the Christian religion
might be comprised in two sentences. Looking
to Christ on the Cross on Calvary as our strength
and our Redeemer, and looking to Jesus bearing
His Cross thither as our example ; that most of
the errors which have arisen amongst Christians
have come from their attempts to separate these
two which God has eternally joined together.
While some have looked entirely to the first and
have imagined they can be saved by faith alone,
others have lost sight of the Cross of Christ
which justifies, by fixing their hopes on bearing
the Cross, but that we ought no more to hide
from the living sinner the Cross which is to be
the rule of his life, than we should from the dying
one that which is his hope in death. He then
went on to say in what the bearing of the Cross
consisted, that there was necessarily connected

22 A Sermon from Mr. Magee.

with it the idea of pain and shame ; the pain of
the Cross was self-denial, the difficulty of which
we may feel from the effort which it costs us
to deny ourselves from prudential motives any
present gratification even for a future good :
that the Christian's self-denial consisted in bring
ing his rebellious will into full harmony with the
almighty will of God, by mortifying our corrupt
affections and desires, substituting humility for
pride, forbearance and love for revenge, malice,
&c, that as the Cross might be avoided in afflic
tion by a repining or self-satisfied spirit, so might
it be found in prosperity by making it an occasion
of exercising the virtues of humility, charity, &c.
The shame of the Cross arose from the hatred
of the world to those who professed it, who shone
forth before men who hated light and reproved
their ways both by word and example. Before
concluding he called the attention of his hearers
to some other crosses which people bear in the
world which were not the sanctifying Cross of
Christ. There is a cross which great sinners
sometimes have to carry even in this world,
when in the righteous judgment of God, he who
is going to the place of his eternal execution is
made to bear even in the sight of man the cross
of his punishment, his sins going beforehand to
Judgment. Secondly, there is a cross of self-
imposition, consisting of fastings, laceratings of
the flesh and such-like tortures by which men
supposed they were bearing the Cross of Christ,.

He denotcnces self-imposed Crosses. 23
when in reality they were going their own way
to salvation, having their reward in the praise of
men for their imagined sanctity, but what will
such men answer to the Judge's question at the
last great day : ' Who hath required this at your
hand to follow Me ? ' saith the Lord. Finally,
there is a cross of punishment which the Almighty
sometimes lays upon His people who through
carelessness or weakness have fallen from the
faith and are wandering in sin and error — but
such crosses are like the thorns which are planted
round the path of the believer to keep him in the
way, rather than the crown of thorns on earth
which shall be his diadem of glory in Heaven.
"He then concluded by an address to those who
had not begun to bear the Cross and to those
who do bear it. To the latter he spoke of the
comfort which they should have under it, for as
when on earth a mortal was allowed to bear with
our Saviour the burden of His Cross, so from the
throne of glory in Heaven shall He now stretch
forth His almighty hand to lighten the burden of
this Cross which is now laid on Christians that
it press not too heavily on them.
" I must not write more. I only hope you will
feel the truth of the self-denial which the sermon
recommends — the real mortification of self: only
do not think I am going to preach as though
you did not feel it ; but it seems such self-denial
is the only one really necessary for the Christian,
and oh ! what a constant labour and toil for the

24 A Letter from Milly.

longest life thus to keep under the body and bring
it into subjection to the law of Christ."
Thus wrote my good Sybella in her zeal for
my improvement and wish that I should be
enlightened as to what was faulty in the ascetic
doctrines that were inculcated by Dr. Pusey.
Milly writes in a different style :
" I confess I am rather astonished to hear that
you like my serious letters best : perhaps this
may be from their variety and novelty, and con
sequently their pleasing effect may be greatly
diminished when you become better acquainted
with my sermonish style of composition. ... I
have been reading a very beautiful sermon by
Dr. Pusey on the ' Bliss of Heaven.' I do so
like him and reverence his pure unworldly spirit.
I believe I am getting more and more of what is
called by the various names of miss-ishy, fanatical,
Romanistic, &c, by my many wise friends. How
came you to hear that I argued with Miss
Lyndon, and asserted my own views so strongly.
Sometimes I assure you I can hardly help it, for
I feel myself constrained to defend what I think
right against accusations or insinuations, and also
I confess with shame I am too fond of argument
for its own sake. I have come to the conclusion
founded on self-experience, that it is a bad thing
for me to live much with people of very Low
Church views and ways : it ' tends ' too much to

Her visit to a Catholic Chapel. 25

puff one up with an idea of superiority and to
induce a contemptuous or bitter feeling against
them, which is far from being really High Church
(if so we must call it) or Christian. I don't know
that I am yet fully established in the belief of
that doctrine1 to which you helped to convert me
— not that I am gone back in my faith in it —
don't be afraid of that, but I hardly dare to
believe it certainly. I read a very good sermon
on the subject, by Dodsworth, the other day, with
excellent arguments in it which Sybella and I
liked much.
" I think I should agree with you in not liking
quite everything in Mr. Magee's sermon which
Sybella sent you. I did not hear it, so I can
hardly judge, but from what I have heard of it
I think it would not altogether have pleased me.
" We had a treat last week, which was going
with Dr. Reid to the Roman Catholic chapel
here to hear him play the organ. While he was
playing we, including Walter, sat in the chapel
and I looked eagerly around in the hope of seeing
a priest, but I saw nobody but a woman who
came in for her devotions, and who rebuked us
all most severely for our irreverence in being in
the chapel for any other purpose than that of
devotion. I was very meek and told her how
sorry I was to have done wrong, though indeed
we were very quiet, reading little Romish books,
and then she became more calm and said she
1 Baptismal Regeneration.

26 The Passionists leave Woodchester.
knew we didn't mean any harm, but that it was
a very shocking thing to come lightly into that
chapel, as it was peculiarly sacred. Whereupon
I entered into a slight argument with her, in which
she testified great compassion at our miserable
state, and then she left poor heretical me and
went to pray. I envied her being able to go into
the quiet church to escape a while from the dis
cord and hurry of the world, but we need not go
to Rome to find open churches for this purpose,
though alas ! they are as yet but few. We must
be patient and trustful, and all will be well.
" Do tell me about your visit to Woodchester.
I hear the Passionists are going away and will
be replaced by some Dominican Fathers, who will
be very different and we shall not like them so
well. This report will I know fill you with grief
and dismay, but it may break one of your strongest
ties to the neighbourhood. Alas ! that this should
be said of daughters of the Church of England.
" How sorry you must be that Mr. Middleton is
going away so soon, and how sorry I am for your
sakes. What will become of your minds when
he is gone with the restraining influence of his
wisdom and true churchism !
" Your affectionate " Milly."
"January 30th, 1857.
" On a wild and stormy day— fit celebration of
the martyrdom of the blessed King Charles I.

Mr. Bennett and St. Barnabas. 27
after having duly been to church I willingly and
gladly retire from the scenes and thoughts of
Bath to spend a short time with you. . . . First
I must just make a small observation or two on
the subject of Mr. Bennett, but I won't give you
much of my opinion on this head. . . . You will
think me I fear very wicked when I say, I cannot
help thinking Mr. Bennett very much in the wrong
in not submitting at once to his Bishop : and
though it seems wrong to condemn so good a
man for acting according to his conscience, yet
one can hardly help doing so when we remember
that it is quite possible to follow our conscience
and yet to do wrong, and this seems to me to be
what Mr. Bennett has done — however unwillingly.
All this is strictly in accordance with the opinion
of Mr. Wood, to whom I talked a great deal about
him, one evening when Jem and I went to dine
with him and his sister. However, I do pity
Mr. Bennett very much, for he must feel all this,
I am sure, most deeply : it is grievous to think of
losing all the good he did at St. Barnabas, and I
hate and detest to have people talking as they do
in those wretched newspapers about him.
" I hope you liked the Bishop of Fredericton's
Charge as much as I did. I thought the part
about Baptism excellent, and all he said about the
office and duties of the clergy.
" I find you tell me in your letter not to let
myself be corrupted here by Mr. Magee, &c, so
you fear for me ? If you knew the array against

28 Unkind Judgments of Dr. Pusey.
me on all sides you would be better able to
appreciate my firmness of character and principle.
Mama thinks me wild and romantic, Sybella and
Jim are of the same opinion. Miss Lyndon says
I am unstable and imitative. John pronounces
me an ignorant bigot, and Walter, how can I
express the feelings of grief and horror with
which that excellent Protestant regards me. Not
only does he think me of dangerous Romanizing
tendencies, but he looks upon my whole character
as that of one little if at all better than a pagan.
This is by no means an exaggerated representa
tion of his sentiments, though he would not be
pleased at my revealing these dark thoughts
concerning his unhappy cousin. But now the
dear youth has departed for Oxford and I am
not sorry for his departure, though how he will
fare in that place of error and superstition, and
thrown, as he is, into the power of ' a regular
Puseyite,' I cannot imagine.
" I have heard a good many evil things of
Dr. Pusey lately, and 'even Mr. Wood, to whom I
talked about him a good deal, does not think him
quite sound. Why, I never can find out, and I
don't intend to think about it at all, but to go on
admiring and loving what I do know is perfectly
right and excellent in him, without troubling
myself to discover what the ' something ' is
which frightens and shocks the rest of fhe world
in such a strange manner.
"A week or so ago Father Faber came to Bath

Feelings of Disappointment. 29

and was staying with Mrs. Gordon, a great friend
of Mr. Macpherson. The latter heard him
preach and was enchanted, being affected almost
to tears according to his account. Mr. Mac
pherson also saw Father Faber at Mrs. Gordon's,
and had an argument with him, and says that his
power of argument was wonderful.
"... What you said in your letter to-day about
feeling disheartened, weary of the daily struggle
of our life, is just what I have been feeling so
sadly lately. I have felt, as it were, quite tired
of the strife against evil, against self, almost hope
less, and looking forward to perhaps a long life
of such struggles, such hard fights to gain even
a very little victory, and this to go on year after
year, the same falls, the same petty trials and
base yielding to them ; I have felt a longing, a
wrong, cowardly, selfish longing, I fear it is, to
escape and be at rest from it all and feel safe.
These feelings are very wrong — I am not so brave
as you. I have not a heart for any fate I fear,
but a very muffish and soft one. Fancy my being
called on to be a Martyr, or to spend such a life
as St. Francis Xavier ! It all seems so great and
noble and beautiful when one thinks and reads of
it, yet when such principles (and surely they are
or ought to be the very same principles) have to
be carried out in daily life, its little trials, momen
tary vexations, &c, how poor and weak one is !
I could go on far more about this, but Mary tells
me I am too fond of talking of myself, my faults

30 Milly 's Remedy for Despondency.
even, and this I am afraid is true. I am not sure
whether it is good to talk of these things, and yet
a talk with you about them always does me good,
and at any rate it is an immense comfort, for
sometimes I get really desponding, in which case
to speak cheers and strengthens me, and then
too, I know that you think as much as I do on
such matters. I have longed for Dr. Pusey to
talk to lately: he would help me. I believe the
best thing is, not to sit down and despond. That
is not the way to gain strength, but to go and do
something, to put in practice in some way one's
good resolves, and not to shrink from so doing,
because the occasion which next offers itself may
be trifling or unexpected, and therefore one's
mighty resolutions are often nearly forgotten.
"Thus far had I got yesterday evening when
tea and the reading aloud of Jane Eyre came
to stop my further writing, but now a wet
afternoon prevents me from thinking of going
out, while Geraldine is solacing himself by
industriously practising the bars of a polka
assisted by mama, and Sybella is on her knees
before the range of cupboards, which she is
' putting tidy,' whence occasionally issues a
clattering sound of palettes and paint-boxes, &c.
In this general scene of virtuous activity I
endeavour to compose my mind, withdrawing
it from polka and palettes with some difficulty
to finish this letter. . . . Hobart Seymour is
going this day to deliver a lecture to gentle-

Mr. Magee 's Sermon. 3 1
men only, on various enormities committed in
nunneries, in answer to Cardinal Wiseman's
sermon, which, by-the-bye, I have never yet
seen. . . . Yesterday we three went to the
Octagon and heard a very excellent discourse,
from Mr. Magee, more pleasing to me than
almost any I have heard from him, because it
was free from all uncharitableness, and because
it gave me great satisfaction on points of which
I had lately been made to feel almost doubtful.
It was on the Holy Trinity, and gave very clear
proofs of the necessity of our having a right belief
of this great doctrine, and why creeds are needful,
and such a strongly expressed creed as the
Athanasian to fence the truth and guard it from
the attacks of heretics, and to keep it undefiled.
" I thought of you on Whit Sunday when
I went alone to early service, and remembered
the last time when we went together on that dear
happy Easter Day. When is my little book to
come?1 I anxiously expect it, as my soul is
beginning to get dry and thirsts for a little
rivulet from Paradise !
" I have just been reading four lectures on
Church History by Mr. Woodford — very excel
lent—intended to strengthen me against Romish
tendencies. They don't do that especially, because
I have them not, but they do give a very good
view of the general history of the Church, and
1 Of extracts from Dr. Pusey's edition of TU Paradise of the
Christian Soul.

32 Mr. Woodford's fotir Lechires.
of the way in which our Church threw off the
errors of Rome, without severing herself from
the unity of the Church Catholic, so that we are
still one with Rome and the Eastern Churches,
and may hope for the day when we may yet be
one outwardly, as we still have the four requisites,
Unity, Holiness, Apostolicity, and Catholicity. . .
Aunt Richard having just arrived, to spend a long
wet afternoon here, the which afternoon I meant
to have employed in a good long talk with you,
I must close this, and go and entertain my
respected relative, and hear little tales of Bill
and Walter and of their various cracky doings !
I should like to go on with you, but, because
I do like it, it is more 'Brother Martinish' to
say good-bye. " Your ever devoted,
" Milly."

CHAPTER II.
The Ancient British Church entirely independent of Rome.
The opinions of a High Churchman on Roman corruptions and
Anglican errors. A speedy union between Rome and England
predicted. The Papal Aggression in connection with the validity
of English Orders. Conduct of the English Bishops in Elizabeth's
reign. Uncertainty as to the competency of Barlow to consecrate
Parker, and as to the form actually used in Parker's consecra
tion. Excitement at Bath caused by the Papal Aggression.
Mr. Robbins' discourses on the subject. The regret they caused
my mother.
Removal to Clifton. Preparation for Confirmation. Spiritual
books. Mr. Herbert Graham. Archdeacon Manning's sermons.
His secession.
Interview with Dr. Pusey. Milly. Her feelings about High
Church views. Her account of the religious vagaries of her
cousin. Her thoughts about the Church of St. Barnabas,
Pimlico. Description of Dr. Christopher Wordsworth and an
S.P.G. meeting.
We were taught in our youth that the British
Church originally had nothing to do with Rome.
Christianity had been planted here long before
the days of St. Gregory. It was indeed Gregory
who sent St. Augustine, but Augustine was
ordained by French Bishops, and his Creed, it
was assumed, was very different from that of
modern Rome. Some friends of my mother
who were staying with us in the Woodchester
days, encouraged us in our admiration for the
D

34 Hopeful Signs in the English Church.

Passionists, and our love for visiting their
church. We were greatly devoted to Mr. and
Mrs. Cleveland. They were very High Church,
and Mr. Cleveland used to maintain that certain
doctrines which we had been told were Roman
corruptions were on the contrary true Catholic
teaching and to be received and held by a good
churchman. As regards the Holy Eucharist, I
believe he said the Church of Rome held the
right doctrine in a wrong way ! Praying for
the dead, invoking saints, honouring the Blessed
Virgin, were all primitive practices which
had been very much lost sight of since the
Reformation. These practices would now be
gradually restored. They might have been
carried too far in the Roman Church, but we
on the contrary had completely given them up,
and our error was probably the worst. Each
Church had something to learn from the other.
We had all our Protestantism to unlearn, and
till we had done that, it was hardly to be
anticipated that Rome would come far to meet
us. Now, however, our Church architecture was
being more cared for, a stir was being made
about ritual, Catholic doctrines were preached,
everything soon would be very different. Rome
had never denied our Orders, but the English
Bishops hitherto had not cared to claim spiritual
kinship with their episcopal brethren on the
Continent. Soon things would come right. We
must have patience and pray for unity, and in

Conduct of Bishops in ElizabetKs Reign. 35
theory and practice go as near as we could to
our Roman brethren.
All this sounded hopeful and was very welcome
to us, though I privately wished that it was not
considered so very necessary that English
churchmen should remain in the Church in
which they were born, if it were really the same
as the Church of Rome. That the Head of
the Church of Rome did not so regard it was,
however, distinctly proved in 1850, the year of
the famous Papal Aggression. How were we
to interpret this act of Pius IX.'s ? Surely it
proved that he had no belief in the validity of
English Orders, or at any rate in the Divine
mission of the Church of England.
We had learnt little of the Church history of
the early years of Elizabeth's reign. I did not
know that all the Bishops who were in occupation
of sees at Mary's death — fifteen in number —
refused to perjure themselves by renouncing
their allegiance to the See of Rome and recogniz
ing Elizabeth as Head of the Church of Christ in
England, and as supreme in all matters spiritual
as well as temporal. The Bishops who boldly
declined to take the oath of supremacy— for
which oath no warrant could be found in Holy
Scripture — were ejected from their sees and for
the most part imprisoned. Who consecrated
Parker Archbishop of Canterbury ? I think I had
a vague idea that Parker had behaved in the
same way that Cranmer did. I do not know why

36 Archbishop Parker's Consecration.
I thought such evil of him. He had not sworn
obedience to the Vicar of Christ, and, on being
nominated to the see of Canterbury, he was quite
ready to promise submission in things spiritual
as well as temporal to Elizabeth. But then
the lawful Bishops would not consecrate him.
To perform this ceremony an accommodating
man of the name of Barlow was found. He
does not seem to have been consecrated, being
styled Bishop-elect of Chichester, and having
previously been Bishop-elect of St. Asaph, St.
David, and Bath and Wells. While no record
of Barlow's own consecration is to be found, we
read that Elizabeth as Supreme Head undertook
to make good by her authority anything that
might be wanting to the validity of Parkerte
consecration. Thus began the line of Bishops
who have reigned in the Established Church
ever since. Of course there is a possibility that
Barlow may have been consecrated and that he
used the proper form in the ceremony which
placed the Protestant Parker in the see of
St. Augustine. For either fact, however, no
testimony is forthcoming. It must be taken
on trust. The elimination of Orders from the
class of sacraments would indicate that no great
importance was attached by the Reformers to
the rite.
When Brother John, a Passionist, tried to
explain this to us at Woodchester, Mr. Cleve
land assured us there was no doubt that the

Excitement caused by Papal Aggression. 37
Church of England possessed the Apostolic
Succession, and that it was therefore a true
branch of the One Church Catholic. How
inconvenient it seemed to us that Pius IX. should
take such a different view and inaugurate a new
Hierarchy in England, as if no real Bishop already
existed there !
The Burtons had taken a house in Bath,
and we were staying with them when the
nation was suffering from the panic caused by
the Papal Aggression. Great Protestant demon
strations were made in Bath. There were public
meetings, and special sermons in the churches
on week-days as well as Sundays. Bath possessed
a clergy that preached great variety of doctrine.
In one church which had belonged to an old
Mr. Mount there were two ministers — Mr. Wood,
who was regarded as a sound churchman, and
Mr. Way, who was decidedly Evangelical. Some
lines occur to me which thus describe -the situa
tion : The traveller on his way to aid
How much has here been done !
The path is smooth and easy made,
The wearying Mount is gone.
T*he Wood remains 'tis true, but light
Shines through with steady ray,
And those who object to wooded height
May choose the lower Way.
A choice which we did not make ! The wooded
heights were indeed very moderate, and not such

38 Various Anti-Papal Sermons.
as could be found fault with even by Sybella.
Mr. Wood preached a sound Church of England
sermon against the errors of Rome on the occa
sion of the aggression. Mr. Way's sermon was
much more vehement. It was in another place
of worship in Bath that I heard a very ultra-
Protestant discourse, in which the Church of
Rome was spoken of as the Temple of Satan,
and High Church doctrines were described as
the steps which led up to it. Tractarianism was
the door at the top by which you went in. These
denunciations used to amuse us young people,
and I fear that we liked the diversion they
afforded and were glad of a change from the
ordinary unexciting sermon.
When we returned home we found that Mr.
Robbins had not finished his remarks on the
subject. Perhaps he thoughtfully postponed
them that we might have the advantage of
profiting. _ The texts for these instructions were
selected from St. Paul's Epistle to the Galatians,
c. ii. It remains in my mind that Mr. Robbins
impressed upon us that the Church of Rome
taught in contradiction to St. Paul, that a man is
justified by the works of the law. All St. Paul's
arguments against the necessity o'f observing
Jewish rites he applied to those who believe that
if they would enter into life they must perform a
certain amount of good works and at least keep
the Ten Commandments. "Works," he would say,
" are nothing ; it is faith that justifies us." Not

Mr. Robbins' Views on Justification. 39
the theological virtue of faith such as Catholics
understand it, i.e., belief in whatever God has
revealed, because He has revealed it ; but a vague
sort of feeling (in no way an act of the under
standing) that Christ has done everything for us,
that we have nothing to do but to believe that He
has taken away not only the guilt of our sins, but
also any punishment that may be due to them.
We had but to sit down and rejoice in our justifi
cation, and above all to be very careful not to
think that any good works which we might
perform could have any merit in them or be
entitled to any reward. Mr. Robbins must have
spoken a good deal against the worship of the
Virgin, the sacraments, and other Catholic doc
trines, but what he said about the mode of
justification dwells most in my memory. " How
any one with the Bible in his hand could fall
into the errors of Romanism was what he
(Mr. Robbins) had never been able to compre
hend"! Mother said that it was a great mistake, she
thought, to tell the poor people who attended the
church about these errors of which they need
never hear, and that as there was but little danger
of their trusting overmuch in their good works, it
was a pity they should be in any way discouraged
from performing them by being told such works
were worth nothing. Mr. Robbins could not really
have meant that it did not signify what sins you
committed, provided you believed that Christ had

40 Removal to Clifton.
died in order to procure forgiveness for those sins,
but what he said amounted nearly to this, and the
uneducated might so interpret it. Our works
never could have any merit, mother said, but it
was necessary that we should perform good works
and especially the works of mercy. She would
point out how in the twenty-fifth chapter of
St. Matthew, our Lord makes eternal salvation to
depend on whether we have fed the hungry,
visited the sick, &c. She always considered
caring for the poor one of the main duties of life,
one which could not be neglected without great
peril to the soul, and she would cite the authority
of St. James, that faith without works is dead,
and would tell us that Luther had a great
objection to St. James's Epistle, and wondered
if Mr. Robbins had also.
Sunday services, as conducted by Mr. Robbins
and his curates, were, however, coming to an end
for us. When I was fourteen we left the country,
and said good-bye to our governess because, as we
were going to reside for a time at Clifton, it was
thought that our education might be carried on
by means of masters. The change was agreeable
and profitable. The Burtons having left the neigh
bourhood for three years, our chief attraction to
our former residence was gone. French, German,
music, and drawing-masters, gave a fresh stimulus
to exertion and made work more interesting. We
were abundantly supplied with books too, of
which there had been rather a scarcity before,

Churches in Clifton and Bristol. 41
and very much did we enjoy this new phase of
existence. Clifton, which was chosen on account
of my mother's health, seemed a lively enough
place to us at that time, accustomed as we were
to the extreme quietness of the country.
Karslake's book-shop at the bottom of Park
Street, which we passed as we walked to Bristol
Cathedral, had a peculiar fascination for us. Still
more fascination did the Catholic shop a little
higher up possess, then kept by Mr. Reader. We
used to get our stationery there as an excuse for
looking at the images and books. All the newest
Catholic publications were to be seen in the
windows. Dr. Newman's Lectures on University
Education, which I have always considered the
finest of his works, I remember coming out in
numbers. An acquaintance gave us the first five
numbers. These I read over and over again,
especially the splendid passage in the third
lecture, "On the Divine Attributes." I was glad
to be free from the dull routine of school-room life,
to be able to arrange my studies as I liked, and
to have plenty of books to interest me. We used
often to attend the week-day services at Bristol
Cathedral in the afternoon, and also on Sundays.
The two churches at Clifton were very Low
Church, so those we did not frequent. At first
we went to Redlands, but afterwards to St. John
the Baptist's, in Bristol, a beautiful old church
with ancient associations, where the service was
reverently performed, and where there was a

42 Preparation for Confirmation.
weekly "celebration," a thing not so common
in those days in the English Church as I under
stand it is now. We should have attended St.
James', had not its incumbent, Mr. Woodward,
been received into the Catholic Church just before
we arrived. This event interested me greatly.
Very shortly after we were established at
Clifton it was announced that a Confirmation
would be held at the parish church. Here was a
chance for me, and this I determined not to miss.
Mother did not much like my receiving this rite
with such very Low Church surroundings. She
consulted the Rev. Herbert Graham, a connection
of hers, who had a living some five miles from
Clifton. It was arranged that he should give me
the preparatory instruction that was required,
and should furnish me with a certificate, which
would obviate the necessity of my attending the
classes of the parish clergyman. The latter's
doctrine would not be the same as Mr. Graham's
and mother's, but more in accordance with that
of Mr. Robbins from whom we had suffered so
much. A little prayer-book I made use of for my
preparation introduced me to a good translation
of the Veni, Sancte Spiritus, a hymn that became
very dear to me. Steps to the Altar was recom
mended in those days as the best devotional book
for Holy Communion. I liked it, but the work
that had most influence on my spiritual life at
that time was one' containing some six or seven

Spiritual Books. 43

instructions On ihe Blessed Sacrament from ihe
Writings of the Saints, which had been published
by Father Faber whilst he was yet in the English
Church. Mrs. Cleveland had given it to mother,
who was not quite sure that she liked it. It was
very Roman, and rather exaggerated in its style.
From it I learned to say the Psalm Quam dilecta,
as a preparation for Communion, a Psalm which
Faber told us was so used by hundreds of
'thousands throughout Christendom. I liked this.
It gave me the feeling of being united in a new
and real way with those numberless pious souls.
The tone of this book and of its companion, On
ihe Examination of Conscience, from the Writings of
the Saints, was very unlike the tone of Anglican
books. The writer seemed thoroughly to know
what he was about, to have a definite purpose in
view, and to be resolved that those whom he was
instructing should be in earnest. It was this
definiteness that was such a rest to me : I was
always craving for something definite, to know
exactly what to believe and how to carry out
that belief in daily life.
The spirit of Faber's book on the Blessed
Sacrament, as of his Life of St. Wilfrid, was so
essentially Catholic and Roman that it was diffi
cult to believe that these little books were written
by an English clergyman. Faber belonged to
that school of the Oxford movement, of which
Mr. Ward was the exponent in his Ideal of a
Christian Church. The members of this school

44 Attraction to Catholic Devotions.
did not shrink from teaching Catholic doctrines
in all their fulness. If the Church of England
would accept these doctrines and reform herself,
well and good ! If not, if these doctrines were
declared incompatible with the Thirty -nine
Articles and the religion as by law established,
they must give up those Articles and that religion,
and betake themselves to Rome. This they did
without hesitation when an authoritative pro
nouncement had been made. No half and half
measure, no compromise recommended itself to
them. The sweet spirit of Catholic devotion taught
by Faber was most attractive to me. " Like as
the hart desireth the water-brooks, so longeth my
soul after Thee, O God," was the text of the first
of these instructions. " My soul is athirst for
God ; oh, when shall I come to appear before the
presence of God ! " We were to aim at having
that longing for God's presence, we were not to
think such language wild and exaggerated and
unfit for us. Like St. Paul, we were to desire to
be with Christ, but we were never so to desire
His glorious presence in Heaven as to make light
of His hidden presence on earth. We ought so
to realize our Lord's Presence in His Sacrament
as to feel the aspect of the whole world around
us changed, from the knowledge that He is
present on it still, in His Manhood as well as in
His Godhead. We were to contemplate our
Lord's Life as divided into five deep mysteries :

Lessons from Faber 's Writings. 45
His Hidden Life, His Public Life, His Suffering
Life, His Glorified Life, and, lastly, His Mystical
Life — His blessed Presence both as God and
Man vouchsafed upon the altars of the Church.
It was plain that our future happiness must very
much depend on the way in which we realized
this Presence, and therefore it was most necessary
we should learn how to prepare for Communion,
how to behave when in the presence of the
Blessed Sacrament, how to make a good thanks
giving, what a blessing frequent Communion was,
and how we might make at any time a spiritual
communion. On all these points the instructions were clear
and definite. I can never be too thankful for
having such beautiful Catholic practices suggested
to me at that time. Holy Communion was the
most important action of our life. Faber did not
hesitate to say that it was more important than
dying, for, he argued, "to go to God is surely
not so important as to receive God into our
selves." One thought which he suggested I will mention
here, as a helpful thought in temptations against
faith. This form was first celebrated in a private
room in Jerusalem by One Who was supposed to
be a carpenter's Son. A few poor unlearned men
were the only witnesses, yet now this form was
to be found all over the world and in every
country thousands of churches have been built in
honour of it and to provide for its more beautiful

46 Conversation with Mr. Graham.

celebration. All who received this Blessed Sacra
ment, kings and priests, learned and unlearned,
old and young, received it on their knees. How
could this be if it were not from God ? The very
sight of an altar ought to satisfy us that the
Catholic faith is true. The fact that this very
doctrine has been most spoken against and denied
by the world and perverted by misbelievers and
been the cause of such enmity and strife, proved
what a great thing it must really be.
I think at this time I implicitly believed the
Catholic doctrine of the Real Presence, but it was
not till I read Archdeacon Robert Wilberforce's
treatise, which was published in 1853, that my
ideas about it became very definite.
Mr. Herbert Graham was not a person with
whom I could discourse about any difficulties with
regard to faith. He gave me a set of questions to
answer in writing. This exercise interested me.
I asked him what the word " oblations " in the
Communion Service referred to, " We offer Thee
our alms and oblations." He said it was un
certain, it might mean an offering that was not
money, such as a ring or some other ornament
which might be put into the plate, or it might
mean our prayers, or the bread and wine. In
reading my answers to his questions, he asked
whether I meant what I had written in reference
to the Sacrament of the Eucharist, for if I did
it was a very high view to take. He did not say
it was a wrong view. There was nothing very

Archdeacon Manning' s Secession. 47

definite to be got out of him, and I did not carry
out some half-formed intentions of asking advice
on practical subjects.
Archdeacon Manning's four volumes of sermons
were great favourites with my mother, and we
used to read them to her very often. She was
especially fond of those on suffering and trials, in
the first volume. The hidden power of Christ's
Passion is one in particular that remains in my
memory. When the fourth volume appeared its
Popish tendency was much animadverted on,
greatly to mother's annoyance, who felt certain
that everything that Archdeacon Manning wrote
must be thoroughly sound. It was his language on
the Holy Eucharist and also on the Communion
of Saints which was objected to by moderate
Anglicans. They discerned very unmistakeable
signs in this last volume of the step he was so
soon to take. Mother would not believe it. She
would have considered it wrong to doubt his
loyalty to the English Church. It was to her a
great and unexpected blow when the news came
that he had actually been received into the
Church of Rome. I remember that morning.
It was at Passiontide, and there wanted little
more than two weeks to my Confirmation, which
was to be on St. Mark's day, a feast falling that
year on the Friday in Easter week. At first I
had a wild hope that this step of Archdeacon
Manning's might induce my mother to take the

48 Consolation suggested by Mr. Graham.
same step. What a relief it would be to feel quite
free, nay more, to feel that authority (and apart
from the Church parental authority was to me
the only recognizable authority) guided me away
from Protestantism. Mother had always, as she
expressed it, " pinned her faith to Archdeacon
Manning." Now that he had proclaimed his
belief in the Church of Rome, surely it would
have a great effect on her. That was my first
idea. Great was my disappointment on finding
that it did not really lessen her prejudices in any
degree, these prejudices being far more deeply
rooted than I could understand. I did not
participate in her grief. It was truly to her a
day of lamentation and woe, that day when she
learnt, as she expressed it, that
The grey-haired Saint may fail at last,
The surest guide a wanderer prove.
For consolation she betook herself to Herbert
Graham and Lady Millicent his wife, her great
friends and counsellors in all her difficulties at
Clifton. Mr. Graham, who was a comfortable
and hopeful person, took a cheerful view. He
thought that a way might be opened for the
reunion of the Churches, through our best
men going to Rome, and he was sure there was
something providential in it. This idea had, I
think, been promulgated by Dr. Pusey when
Mr. Newman left the Church of England.
We had read a little volume by Mr. Gresley on
the ordinance of confession, and it was one much

Interview with Dr. Pusey. 49
advocated also by Dr. Pusey. Vague ideas about
the desirableness of confessing my sins floated
before me while preparing for Confirmation, but
I perceived that however expedient and profitable
in theory, the practice was entirely out of the
question under existing circumstances. We had
indeed once seen Dr. Pusey at Clifton. Mother
got him to talk to Olivia and me, and after this
she had a long private conversation with him
herself. He told us that in our studies of foreign
languages, music, drawing, &c.,we must remember,
if ever tempted to think such studies useless, that
over and above the immediate object of them we
were, if we were in earnest, really acquiring
virtues far more valuable than learning or accom
plishments — such as patience, perseverance, obe
dience, humility, &c. I liked this. The thought
brightened many a weary hour and helped me
through drudgery and exercises which without
it I might have given up. I can imagine that
Dr. Pusey was a great help to many. We had
a great reverence for him, but this was the only
occasion on which we met him.
Milly wrote : "I do so dreadfully envy you
having seen Dr. Pusey, and I must say you were
very good to tell me about him and to give such
a capital description of him, though it was
tantalizing and provoking not to hear what he
said. ... I have often longed to be able to talk
to him. I think he might help me so much, for
his sermons do more than any I know, and one
E

50 Description of Milly.

does so want some good advice at times. I don't
fancy he is like most clergymen, who seem too
much like one's ordinary polite acquaintances, for
one to be able to talk to them of one's thoughts
and doubts and troubles, and this want I have
often felt, but I think it would be supplied in such
a man as Dr. Pusey."
How shall I describe my dearly-beloved Milly ?
In the first place, she was very different from
any one else I ever knew, and strangely different
from any other members of her family. She
was a very decided individuality. Hers was
a joyous nature. She always saw the comic
element in everything, and that must have
been one reason why I derived such immense
gratification from her society. Her sense of
the humorous was just as keen at the age
of forty-six as it had been at sixteen, but in
some points — so it appeared to me — she was very
different in later life. In her youth she seemed —
it may have been only seeming — to be too much
influenced by those she loved, and these were
many, for Milly had a large heart and a power of
sympathy, a capacity for entering into the feelings
and ideas of others which ensured for her a very
great number of friends. She had an intense
admiration for them and a disappreciation of
herself. Had I been given to jealousy, I might
have been jealous of her friends ; as it was, they
bored me rather. I thought Milly ought to know
better than to go into raptures over some such

Her Gift of Sympathy. 51
common-place mortals. It was not, however,
silliness and young ladyishness, but rather her great
gift of sympathy that made her see souls in some
sort as the angels do. Their beauty struck her
and not their tiresomeness. She seemed unduly
influenced by her friends, and too ready to adopt
their opinions and peculiarities; in fact, those
who did not know her well were inclined to think
her weak and rather foolish. In reality hers was
a very strong character. She possessed unusual
powers of thought and reasoning, although to
the end she was a little wanting in judgment.
Numerous as were her friends, her immense
devotion to her mother overpowered every other
feeling. It made her sometimes doubt whether
she really cared for any one else.
I have a predilection for people who are very
frank, and unreserved, and trusting, though these
qualities are apt to get their possessors into
difficulties. Milly was abundantly endowed with
them. We used to lecture her on her want of
discretion, and yet it was impossible not to
confide all one's secrets to her. I said before
that we used to talk a great deal to each other
about the religious questions of the day, and when
we were separated these formed the chief subject
of our correspondence. Our inner lives moved on
side by side, and perhaps a few extracts from her
letters will give the best idea of our views at that
time.

52 Attachment to High Church Views.
"October 25, 1851.
"... As I feel in a very steady mood, I will
talk a little good sense about your letter. It was
almost a comfort for me (forgive me) to think you
are a partaker sometimes in my ' wicked ' thoughts
and can sympathize with me in them, which I
think few people can do. I think I am becoming
more and more warmly attached to High Church
principles than ever. I feel I should give up such
great privileges and happiness in relinquishing
them, and though, as I used to tell you, I often
have little doubts and misgivings about some
things (now you will call me a heretic, I don't
doubt, and apply to me that favourite little text),
yet these things perplex me much less than they
did. I think the less one dwells on doubtful and
disputed points, and the more one tries to feel
the solemn practical reality of what one professes,
the better. Not that I do this, alas ! You can't
imagine how utterly bad I feel at times, . . . and
my especially wicked feelings still go on, parti
cularly when I attend St. Stephen's Church, where
all goes so against my taste and disgusts me
almost. This must be very bad, for at least one
has the Church prayers even there, and I know
what shocks my feelings is really the way of
expressing good feelings, though it is a way which
gives me the horrors. Sometimes I feel charitable
and make such good resolutions never to abuse
my spiritual pastors, but when next I go to
church they say something irritating and all my

Belief in Modern Miracles Voluntary. 53
strength fails. . . . How I long for a good talk
with you. There are several things on which I
can talk to you better than almost any one else,
as you understand me, which few do here.
Sybella is very good, and at times charming to
talk to, but there are things which I dare not say,
as I know they would sadly shock her, and I am
in fact la femme incomprise on many points at
home. " I was going to tell you about Newman's
correspondence with the Bishop of Norwich, but
I dare say you have seen it, as it is in the papers.
I like the spirit of them both so much, and it is
a comfort to think that two men, who think even
widely differently, can discuss a disputed matter
with kind feeling and without mutual abuse.
Newman is vindicating his opinions and expres
sions about miracles, and our R.C. friend here,
Mr. Macpherson, says that modern miracles are
not obligatory, but of merely voluntary belief in
their Church, which people don't seem to under
stand. I am always glad when I can find anything
which clears the Romanists from any misunder
standing or unjust charges ; for I never can
think that it is needful to see their Church
painted in the blackest colours (a little got
up too by clever artists) in order to be aware
of her real errors. To me these are far too
serious to need painting of any kind to increase
their importance, consequently I am accused of
¦dangerous leniency, of ' tampering with destruc-

54 Walter's Religious Vagaries.
tion,' or such like ; but I hope I am not so
doing. " I read on Sunday such a beautiful sermon of
Dr.Pusey's, The Rule of Faith of the Fathers and the
Church of England. I was delighted with it, and
think you would like it, and the end is so beauti
fully meek and so like him. Jim brought it from
Wells for Sybella's edification, and even Sybella
likes it, though she says it does not quite satisfy
her with regard to Apostolic Succession ; its
subject being Apostolic Tradition, which I never
understood before reading it.
" Now, to come down to Walter ; he is, I
believe, or thinks himself to be, safe, as Mr.
Macpherson expresses it, from 'the fisherman's
net,' to wit, the snares of ' Babylon.' He really
was very near to it at one time though, and used
to go to Prior Park to consult one of the Fathers
there. The beginning of his 'dangerous ten
dencies' was the reading of Father Newman's
Lectures, which he thought unanswerable until
he fell in with Butler's refutation of them and
found that that was , unanswerable too. So he
was obliged to give up Newman and with him alt
hopes of Fra Martinism, and after writing a
penitent letter to his old tutor has returned to
Oxford, determined to give no heed to seducing
whispers again, but equally undecided as to what
he will be, disliking the Church of England for
good reasons of his own, I suppose, not to be
fathomed by me, and not yet determined into the

Church of St. Barnabas, Pimlico. 55
arms of what sect or party he shall throw himself,
only of one thing I am pretty sure, it will be a
fanatical sort of one, as he is given to vehement
rhapsodies and can't be content with sober truth,
poor creature ! We had a grand quarrel while he
was at home, but it ended in his giving me a
beautiful engraving as a peace-offering. . . .
" How happy you will be at dear Mrs. Cleve
land's ! Miss Arkwright saw them both for a
minute the other day at Wells, where they went
to attend a meeting, not a Protestant one. The
5th of November will soon be here. Do you
remember last 5th, when you were with us, and
what fun we had ? . . . " Your devoted, " Milly."
"... I do envy you your delightful sight of
St. Barnabas (Pimlico). I wonder if the meek
verger was the same who fascinated Geraldine
the day we were there ! He had such a good,
nice face. I very often long to see St. Barnabas
again, and sometimes when I am feeling melan
choly and dissatisfied (which unfortunately occurs
at church at times) the thought of that beautiful
church with its soft, dim, unworldly light and the
deep reverent tones of its choral services comes
over my mind with such a sense of beauty and
repose, as makes me feel (as I think all these
beautiful things were meant to make us feel)
what comfort and peace the Church is made to

56 Rttskin on Typical Beauty.
bring in the midst of this world's turmoil and
restlessness, and how we should try more and
more to have our souls and lives, as well as our
tastes and sentiments, penetrated and swayed by
her influences.
" I am reading now a very interesting book,
Ruskin's Modem Painters. He speaks of the
beauty of outward things, both animate and
inanimate, as having their great power and
excellence in so far as they are types of the
Divine attributes. It seems to me that we might
make this outward world so much fuller of beauty
and gladness than it is, if we looked more, both
in lower creatures and in man, for that inward
beauty of which their outward glories are types,
but then, alas ! I feel so empty of beauty and
entertain so strong a disgust against my unfortu
nate self, that it is a great quencher to all my
high and soaring ideas of 'typical beauty,' &c. '
You see I have fallen into a very moral strain. I
think this letter will be quite as edifying, if not
quite as Protestant, as the long effusion which
Geraldine concocted last night for you, and read
to me, expressing herself sure all the time that
you would hate it. I suppose from the conviction
that it contained some spicy little Protestant
sentiments. . . .
". . . On Tuesday, from half-past ten till five
o'clock, our whole time was occupied in an S.P.G.
sermon and meeting, of which I must try to
give you some small account. Dr. Christopher

Description of Dr. C. Wordsworth. 57
Wordsworth preached the sermon. Have you
ever seen him ? Lest you have not, I proceed
to describe him. He has a very interesting
picturesque face and look : dark and sallow in
complexion, with very black hair, somewhat
wildly tossed about. Thin hollow cheeks, a
fine forehead, and eyes deep sunken and full of
expression, and a very sweet smile. He is rather
tall, and looked very well in his ample black
gown, and his manner is most solemn and
earnest, not a sweet voice, but most expressive
in tone. His sermon Geraldine and I thought
beautiful, but Sybella considered it too political.
It was on the Jubilee — comparing our celebration
with that of the Jubilee of the Jews, and then he
spoke much of the sin of England in having left
America so long without a Church, which was
justly punished by its revolting from us. He
said much more, which I can't tell you now, being
so hurried. We then went to the meeting and
heard some goodish speeches — one very nice one
from the deputation, Mr. Penrose, and many little
compliments, &c, ensued — but these I may leave
you to imagine, there being somewhat of a same
ness in the flattering terms in which one speaker
praises another and the importance, attached by
all alike to ' the meeting of this day.' "

CHAPTER III.
A Latitudinarian friend. His influence. Sir James Stephens'
Essays in Ecclesiastical Biography. His estimate of St. Ignatius
Loyola and of the Spiritual Exercises. The Catholic type of
sanctity not understood outside the Roman Catholic Church.
Visits to Convents in and near Clifton. Converts to Catho
licism. Mr. Aubrey de Vere urges the duty of inquiry into the
claims of the Roman Catholic Church. The testimony of those
who have submitted to her guidance. The English Church
powerless to witness to the truth. It allows contradictory
doctrines to be taught. Oswald's views on the duty of inquiry.
His sister Ethel a resolute defender of the Anglican Church.
She undertakes to read Milner's End of Controversy and other
Catholic works. Several letters from her. The Councils of
Nice and Chalcedon. Extracts from Anglican writers to show
that the Papal Supremacy was not recognized by these Councils.
Answer. Moehler's Symbolism. The unity of the Church, the proof of
her Divine Mission. Oswald's views of the impossibility of
arriving at certainty. Evil of such views.
Before we came to Clifton we had not known
any one who belonged to the Broad or Latitudi
narian school. At Clifton we saw a great deal of
a very clever man whose opinions were anything
but orthodox. He had a great deal of influence
over us, if not in unsettling our minds, at least
in showing us that there are many sides to a
question, in making us think, in teaching us to
appreciate poetry, and in helping us to form a
taste for literature. He had a good library, and

Influence of a Latitudinarian Friend. 59
was most kind in lending us books and telling us
what we ought to read and admire. In many
ways it was a great advantage to see so much of
Mr. Somers. He kept us alive to all that was
going on in the literary world. He opened our
minds, as it is called, instilling into us a great
contempt for narrow-mindedness and intolerance-
On the other hand, he was imbuing us with a
respect for Latitudinarian theories to which they
are not entitled. It was new and startling to
hear the genuineness of certain passages of Scrip
ture called in question, the necessity for creeds
ridiculed, doubts cast upon inspiration, so much
regard paid to mere intellect. What was the
good of a creed ? Mr. Somers asked. It made
no difference when people came to die. He had
seen many people on their death-beds, and what
ever form of" religion or non-religion they might
have professed, they mostly died happily, and
what more could be desired than peace at the
last? Mr. Somers had a fondness for quoting the
lines : I sit as God holding no form of creed
But contemplating all,
and, Behold we know not anything,
I can but trust that good will fall
At last, far off, at last to all,
And every winter change to spring.
Besides Macaulay's Essays — so attractive to the
young mind — we were greatly interested in those

60 Essays in Ecclesiastical Biography.
of Rogers and Stephens with which he furnished
us, and in Charles Kingsley's Yeast, which had
lately appeared.
It is curious and interesting late in life to take
up books that have had a great influence on us in
our youth. The Essays in Ecclesiastical Bio
graphy, which Sir James Stephens had contributed
from time to time to the Edinburgh Review, were
revised and enlarged by him, and republished in
two volumes in the year 1849. It was two or
three years later that I read them. The first of
these volumes is occupied mainly with some saints
of the Catholic Church or with characters con
nected with her history. Martin Luther and the
Port Royalists figure towards the close. The
first Essays deal with St. Gregory VII., St. Francis
of Assisi, St. Ignatius and his first companions.
It was in the dress provided for them by that
brilliant but essentially Protestant writer that I
first became acquainted with these great Saints.
It was a grace to know them even under this
disguise. Do what you will, the Lives of the
Seraph of Assisi and of the Founder of the
Society of Jesus and of the world-famous Apostle
of the Indies, contain lessons and awaken an
enthusiasm which all the worthies of the Church
of England fail to inspire.
A man of the world trying to understand the
interior of a saint of God ! What a curious sight
it is ! What a pitiful failure is his endeavour to
explain the supernatural in their lives on natural

How Protestants patronize Saints. 61
principles ! It is like the attempt to account
for the existence of the Church on the hypo
thesis of its being a merely human institution.
The tone of superiority assumed by the average
Protestant would irritate me if it had not its
comic aspect. The kindly commendation of
heroic acts of self-sacrifice if they should result
in some tangible benefit on a fellow-creature,
the commiseration for such acts should they
have only the greater glory of the Creator for
their end, the pity for a superstition which can
believe that that Creator ever requires his
creatures to leave houses and lands and father
and mother and wife and children, for His sake ;
or that He can literally expect them to deny
themselves and to take up their cross daily
with no other motive than to follow Him— how
should men with such sentiments, comprehend
the story of Mount Alvernia? They seem to
think it an irreverence to imagine the great
Creator of all things really caring about such
atoms as we His creatures are, and exerting
Himself about every one of us, individually.
They almost despise those who believe that
Almighty God has knowledge of the number of
hairs on the head of every one of us, that He
notices how many sparrows fall to the ground
every day, and that he takes account of every
cup of water that one of His children gives to
another in His Name. They do not see that
these saints whom they look down on as ignorant

62 Sir J. Stephens on the Spiritual Exercises.
enthusiasts are simply products of the Sermon
on the Mount, and that theirs is the character
that would be developed by obeying literally the
counsels as well as the precepts of the Gospel.
Father Faber indeed goes farther and says that,
" If Christianity were not true, the conduct of a
wise man, who acted consistently as a creature
who had a Creator, would strangely resemble
the behaviour of a Catholic saint. The lineaments
of the Catholic type would be discernible upon
him, though his gifts would not be the same."
Sir James Stephens is not without a considerable
amount of admiration for the saints with whom
he deals, but he does not know how to unravel
their eccentricities. He cannot understand the
folly of the Cross. It is the old difficulty, "to
the Greeks foolishness." St. Ignatius is especially
puzzling, because the book which he wrote is,
says our author, "invariably dry and didactic,
even when it delineates and enjoins the highest
rapture of devotion." Sir James Stephens gives
us an analysis of the Spiritual Exercises. I
observe that he passes over what St. Ignatius
calls the " Foundation," and begins at once with
the Exercises on Sin. If he could have made
one or two prolonged meditations on the End of
Man and on the Use of Creatures, perhaps his
view of the lives of saints might have undergone
some alteration. As it is he cannot grasp the
idea that men like St. Gregory VII. and St. Igna
tius, had no other motive than the greater glory

His Estimate of St. Ignatius. 63

of God in all things that they did. There must
have been self-seeking, spiritual ambition, some
earthly motive at work, some human reward on
which they were bent. Thus, when Ignatius is
elected General of the Society, it is assumed
that his reluctance to accept the office was
feigned. Not until he had received the solemn
injunction of his confessor, would Ignatius of
Loyola " ascend the throne of which he had been
so long laying the foundations. It will be credible,"
continues Sir James Stephens, "that he seriously
contemplated the renunciation of that high reward,
when it shall be ascertained that Julius became
Dictator, Cromwell Protector, and Napoleon First
Consul, in their own despite ; but not till then."
What I thought of such remarks in those days,
I may not altogether remember. They could not
have made much impression as I know I was
filled with an intense admiration for these heroes
of sanctity, and with no admiration at all for
their rival, Martin Luther. A yearning to be
encouraged or at least to be allowed to love God
as they loved Him, took possession of my soul.
I particularly disliked the lines in the Christian
Year : We need not bid for cloister'd cell,
Our neighbour and our work farewell,
Nor strive to wind ourselves too high
For sinful man beneath the sky.
"Be ye therefore perfect as your Father in
Heaven is perfect." That is the perfection

64 Sanctity not understood by Protestants.

recommended to sinful man in the Gospel.
"Christ suffered for us leaving us an example
that we should follow His steps," said St. Peter.
" Be ye followers of me as I also am of Christ,"
said St. Paul. No lower pattern is put before
Christians. They are enjoined to love God with
their whole heart, with their whole soul, to do
His will after the example of Him Who came on
earth to show them what that will required of
them. The idea of sin and the idea of sanctity have
been lost outside the Roman Church. The very
notion of sanctity is not understood, it is looked
upon as superstitious and mean-spirited. Perhaps
some might admire it if they were not afraid
of being called on to imitate it, or to make an
act of humility by acknowledging themselves the
inferiors of those who do. It is so pleasant to
lead a self-indulgent life, never giving up one's
own will, to make reflections on the easiness of
practising the virtue of obedience, and to sneer at
subjection as a renunciation of the gift of free
will, the greatest natural gift which God has seen
good to bestow upon men. I don't mean that
Mr. Keble did not appreciate holiness or that he
intended to imply that we need not aim at it.
But it was not to be the holiness of "the
counsels," or of the state of perfection. The desire
for such a state would imply that we were not
content with that " trivial round " and " daily
task " which was sure to bring us nearer to God

Mother Margaret Hallahan. 65

by the constant little acts of self-denial which it
imposed, and that we wanted something very
heroic, which would gratify our self-love, and
gain us the esteem of others.
Nevertheless, such as they were, these studies
on the lives of saints by a Latitudinarian writer
interested me greatly at the time when I first
read them. I was depressed, however, by the
remarks that their type of sanctity must be dis
pleasing to God and unfitting the dignity of man.
This was a view which Mr. Somers was very
strong in upholding, in conjunction with the great
apostle of muscular Christianity, Charles Kingsley.

There was a Catholic atmosphere at Clifton
which could not be without its effect. I am a
great believer in the influence of " atmosphere,"
physical, moral, and spiritual. Clifton had been
chosen to give its name to one of the new
Catholic sees. The Pro-Cathedral, a very un
finished looking building, was an object of great
interest to us. Adjoining it was the lately erected
Convent of St. Catherine of Sienna. There the
Sisters of Penance of the Third Order of
St. Dominic were established with their Superior,
Mother Margaret Hallahan. Greatly have I
regretted that we missed the opportunity of
knowing this holy and remarkable servant of God,
whose life has been so beautifully told by one of
those who had the privilege of being her spiritual

66 Visits to Convents near Bristol.
children. I like to think, however, that we had
a share in the fervent prayers which she offered
for the conversion of the souls around her, and
in the Rosaries so constantly said in that little
chapel which it was our delight to pass. Once
we were taken to see the convent and made the
acquaintance of the Rev. Frederick Neve, Mother
Margaret's faithful friend and adviser, after the
departure of Dr. Ullathorne for Birmingham. We
thought Mr. Neve rather severe and formidable
on that occasion. Later we met him in Ireland
and made great friends with him. We also visited
the Convent of the Good Shepherd, Arno's Court,
Bristol, and that of the Visitation at Westbury.
These religious houses made a great impression
on us. There was an element of mystery about
them which added to the interest which they
inspired. Clifton attracted many converts, and amongst
the number were a few who influenced us greatly :
Mr. Spencer Northcote, Sir Vere and Lady de
Vere, and Mr. Aubrey de Vere. Mr. Aubrey de
Vere had not long been a Catholic when we first
made his acquaintance. We saw a good deal of
him during that summer, and he was always
ready to speak of the peace and joy which were
to be found in the Church. Indeed the happiness
and thorough satisfaction in their religion of the
converts to Catholicism whom we knew, seemed
a great argument in favour of that religion. We
were warned by friends like Oswald, that it was

Duty of Religious Inquiry. 67

a dangerous peace, a delusive happiness, that the
certainty which they professed to have in the
truths of Revelation, was not a certainty that
God meant us to have, that it would do away
with a large part of that which He intended
should be our probation here on earth. How
were we to know ? Ought we not to inquire ?
This, Mr. de Vere was ever pressing on us — the
duty of inquiry and of praying for light. Oswald
said such a prayer implied that we had not
sufficient light and sufficient knowledge of the
truth where we were. I was ready to admit that
it implied this. Was it not a fact of which we
were too painfully conscious ? We had the Holy
Scriptures, true, but as Mr. de Vere wrote in
a little essay he composed for us, " Is it not
a simple duty to inquire what is the Rule of
Interpretation by means of which we shall be
enabled, in studying the Scriptures, to distinguish
between the Mind of ihe Spirit by Whom the
Prophets spoke, and the fancies of individuals or
the traditional gloss of recent and separated
bodies at variance with each other? God has
constituted a Visible Church in His Son, Who
died to redeem it, Who feeds it ever with His
own Body (the Mystic Body sacramentally
sustained by the Natural Body), Who ever sends
it His Spirit to lead it into all Truth, Who raised
it upon earth to be the Pillar and Witness of the
Truth, appointing it thereby to be as the Apostolic
College remaining amongst us, occupying for ever

68 The Divine Message intended for all.
thrones ' in the Kingdom of the Regeneration,'
reiterating for ever the same Divine message, and
' telling us plainly ' what that message is. Is it
then or is it not a duty to know surely which
among the claimants on our respect is indeed the
Prophet of God, in listening to whom we listen
to the voice of God, and in obeying whom we
obey not man but God ? How can we have
Divine Faith if we do not know with the spiritual
certainty of Faith, that it is God to Whom we are
listening, through His appointed organ, and not
any other authority, however respectable which
yet is not that one which God has commissioned?
. . . The question at issue is the gravest of
questions, for what do we come into the world
for except that we may serve God ; and how
can we serve Him except according to the
way He has revealed ? The question is one in
which all are concerned, the rich and the poor,
the wise and the simple. The solution of it
therefore cannot be beyond the strivings of the
unlearned." One solution which has commended itself even
to some thoughtful people outside the Roman
Church, is that each individual should live and
die in the sect or church in which he was born,
that being the manifest will of God in his regard.
This view would justify Unitarians, Quakers,
Baptists, Jews, &c, and to speak of its being the
will of God that any one should believe that

Testimony of Converts to Catholicism. 69

which is in direct contradiction to His truth,
seemed to me little short of blasphemy.
Mr. Sewell had treated as nugatory and absurd
the plea of conscience which converts advanced
as the motive for their secession to the Church
of Rome. This is what Aubrey de Vere says on
the subject : " Conscience, we know, is that which
has compelled many of the wisest and holiest in
the Anglican communion to go forth from it as
Abraham left his native land, in many instances
renouncing all. We know that they are incapable
of falsehood and they are alive and can tell us
what they have found, not like Abraham a desert,
but from the first moment of entire submission,
the House of Faith, the golden Home of Love,
the long-lost Eden, the City of God, in which
saints in glory and men below, are fellow-citizens
in daily communion. It was called the Syren's
Island ; but they who sought it, included the
sternest, the strongest, the saintliest, the men
who had most abundantly used ihe resources of their
native soil, . . . and their bones are not found
bleaching on the Syren's shore. Their act was
that which pride abhors — submission. Their
learning ended in their knowing in what sense
it is our duty to become as little children, and
under what circumstances it is possible to continue
such, while the intellect is ever advancing and
experience deepening. It was conscience which
had laid its hand upon them. Conscience
commands all who doubt to inquire. And can any

70 The Church of England.

intelligent Anglican, who knows that there is a
Church upon earth, and has heard the contro
versies of the last few years, so delude himself as
not to know that he doubts ? The body to which
he belongs is separated from the Church of almost
all the world. It is condemned by the teaching
ofthe Eastern as well as ofthe Western Church.
It is divided into almost as many schools as exist
outside its pale. It cannot decide between them
and therefore cannot witness to the Truth. It
remains the servant of the State, when, if the
heart were sound, and the mind were one, it
could at any moment be free. It has been in
this bondage for more than a century, and in
nearly as great for three, that is, for the whole
period of its isolated existence. It was while in
this bondage that it professed to rediscover a
pure and primitive faith, lost or overlaid during
a thousand years. Its consent with Antiquity
rests on its own assertion only, and is flatly denied
by the whole of the East as well as by all the
Churches in communion with Rome. It admits
that it has abandoned Primitive Antiquity in
many points, such as Extreme Unction, Prayers
for the Dead, Veneration of Relics, &c. It only
reverences the earlier Councils, nay the Creeds
themselves (see Article 8), because their decisions
are attested by Scripture, that is by the Anglican
or individual interpretation of Scripture, and
therefore it in reality sits in judgment over them
instead of recognizing them as an authority."

Oswald's Views on the Duty of Inquiry. 71
These remarks upon the ambiguous position
and teaching of the English Church commended
themselves to me as being most true. Many were
the discussions we had on the subject. Oswald
and his sister, Mrs. Vyner, spent some time with
us this summer at Clifton. Both were much
interested in theological questions. I do not
think that either of them had any bias towards
Catholicism. Oswald indeed had set his heart
on becoming a clergyman in the Church of
England and also on entering the state of
matrimony. As the latter depended in some
measure on the former, perhaps he was hardly in
the best position for forming an impartial opinion
on the claims of the two Churches. The life of
an English clergyman is an ideal life to a certain
class of minds. They have no conception that
there can exist a higher or a more desirable state.
I have remarked that such minds never have any
leaning towards Catholicism. They have their
own standard and they are satisfied with it.
Oswald's views were by no means those of the
ordinary British parson, as will be shown later
on. He had an overwhelming sense of the respon
sibilities of life. He considered religious inquiry
to be a duty, but that the difficulties which beset
the inquirer were so great that when he had done
his best he could 'hardly aspire to get beyond
a position of general uncertainty. " If uncertainty
is to be the end of our inquiry, what is the use of
beginning to inquire?" I asked. The question

j 2 Theological Discussions.
was thought a flippant and a senseless one. At
all events it was not a hopeful idea with which to
start. It probably owed its existence to a very
decided vein of melancholy which ran through
my cousin's character and influenced all his
views. We did not find this melancholy infectious.
Perhaps it was the spirit of contrariness which
made us rather extra cheerful when with him,
insomuch that he would reprove us and say that
our life was a perpetual joke. We considered it
a sort of mission to make him laugh, and we
much liked talking and reading with him. He
encouraged us to think, and not to hold opinions
without knowing the reasons for them. Without
the jokes and the sense of the ludicrous which
ever prevailed, we should have been rather a
priggish set of young people.
I mentioned Oswald's sister, Ethel, as one who
was interested in our theological discussions this
summer. She took the Protestant side, and her
advocacy of the English Church gained for her
the name of "the champion." Although some
fifteen years older than I was, she was my great
friend. She became so far interested in the
arguments which Mr. Aubrey de Vere brought
forward in favour of the Church of Rome that
she promised not to put the subject out of
her mind, but to give it due consideration. For
this purpose she was to study Milner's End of
Controversy. On leaving Clifton she wrote to me:

Ethel begins the Inquiry. j$
" I hope you will remember that the (Anglican)
' cause ' depends on you now, and if you want
a good sound book on the subject and not long,
I should recommend Vindication of the Church of
England, by Bishop Bull. I will tell you what
I think of Milner when I have studied him. The
Preface rather alarmed me when I saw ' No other
controversial work of modern times has had equal
success in effecting conversions to our holy faith,'
but in spite of that even, I do not think it will
effect mine ; for I do not believe that Romanism
will stand the test of impartial investigation
and calm thought, however much one may feel
influenced by being with those who make religion
their rule of life. These being my opinions at
starting on the inquiry in August, 1852. Where
do you think August, 1857, will find me?"
She writes again : "August 30, 1852.
"You are by this time, I suppose, safely in
Ireland, and I hope you got over the perils and
dangers of the way without difficulty. I enjoyed
your last letter from Clifton very much ; but
I think altogether it is as well that you are gone
away for a time. I really began to fear for your
Protestantism, and am sure it is a very good
thing that you should have time to reflect before
allowing yourself to be led away by the eloquence
and excellence of your friends. (You see I have
not quite given up the championship yet.) I
must say, so far as I have been able to pursue the

74 Advice from Ethel.
inquiry, I see more and more reason to fear that
they are under a delusion, though mind I don't
think myself qualified yet to give an opinion.
It is very difficult to see things as they are,
uninfluenced by prejudice and uncoloured by
imagination. . . ."
Her next letter is dated, " September 3, 1852.
" Your letter was delightfully long and 'graphic,'
and I am taking an early opportunity of answer
ing it, and at the same time giving you a little
Protestant advice. I don't agree with our friend
as to the danger of putting off 'submission' for six
years. I think the subject important enough to
require at least that examination, for how are we
to arrive at a ' firm moral conviction ' without
reading and argument ? Of course, let these be
carried on in a right spirit, that is with prayer
and an earnest desire to be guided to truth, but
not with a wish and determination to find Rome
right and ourselves wrong. I think that there
is so very much that is attractive in the Roman
Church, that there is little fear of our not doing
it justice in the investigation. The peace converts
speak of as so delightful would alone be enough
to make us wish to join them, but it may be
a peace we have no right to look for on this side
of eternity. Do not in your inquiry read Roman
Catholic books alone; we are none of us suffi
ciently acquainted with history or our own

Her Charges against General Councils. 75

theologians for that, and it would be at least
dangerous. I must say, as far as I have yet seen,
I find so many contradictions in the decrees of
the different Councils, and of the Councils com
pared to Scripture, that it is difficult to reconcile
them with the idea of Divine guidance. It is not
sufficient to assume the infallibility of the Roman
Church merely because it asserts that there is
a necessity for an infallible visible guide on earth.
We must try to find proof that such does exist
before we believe in it. Such proof we should
expect to find at least in consistency, but with all
due allowance to the doctrine of development,
you will find, I think, that in some points the
decrees of the Council of Trent directly con
tradict those of Nice and Ephesus. I am sure
/ shall never be a good Papist until they give up
Trent. " Milner is by no means convincing as far as
I have yet read ; in fact he advances nothing that
has not been refuted over and over again. I am
going to send for the" other book that was recom
mended to me — Waterworth — to give the cause
a fair chance, for (though P  would think me
a dreadful heretic for saying so) it would require
something infinitely more convincing than Milner
to convert me.
"I believe what makes P  's arguments appear
so convincing at the time, is his own religious
mind, and that he won't stop to go into detail
and authority for what he brings forward, but

76 Reflections suggested by Ethel's Letters.
gives you a grand general view of a system,
splendid in itself and infinitely attractive, as
bringing us into closer communication with the
unseen world than any we have been in the habit
of contemplating, but of which when you descend
to proofs, you find they lie far more in our ideas
of moral necessity than any of revelation or
prophecy. . . .
" How do you like Ireland ? you don't tell me
a word about it, but I hope you will in your next.
Consider too the champion's Protestant views
and tell me if you agree with them. I am afraid
you will become Papists involuntarily at Currah.
I don't think you can help it."
From these letters it will be seen that the
champion laid claim to an eminently fair and
judicial mind. She did not judge the question
of the Roman claims to be beneath her considera
tion as do many who pretend to impartiality, nor
would she admit for a moment that it was a
question, the study of which was beyond the
power of an ordinarily well-educated person. She
did not approve of the silencing system so dear
to the High Church parson, " women had no
right to an opinion."
It may be noticed also that she attributes to
the charm of personal influence any predilections
she might experience towards Catholicism. I
knew that my predilections had nothing to do
with persons. They began on the day when I

Eminent Defenders of Catholicism, yj
first entered a Catholic church. I was attracted
to individuals because they were Catholics, not to
Catholicism because of those individuals. Nor
was it true that all the converts we knew were
delightful. There were some who bored me
considerably. They were tiresome by their want
of tact. One in particular, an ex-parson, in
season and out of season would make the remark
that there could be but one Church. I did not
participate in the champion's suspicion that the
Roman Catholic claims could not bear investiga
tion. A religion which numbered amongst its
defenders St. Thomas Aquinas and Bossuet, to
cite two only out of many in different countries
and ages, could hardly be contrary to reason.
Say that these were pre-possessed from infancy
in its favour ; in our own century are there not
many who could be named for whose submission
to the Church of Rome no such pre-possession
could be assigned ? Amongst these, as we used
to remind Oswald, there was his own favourite,
Frederick Schlegel, and to come nearer home
was there not John Henry Newman ? " The
poverty of the form of Protestantism he saw
around him might account for Schlegel's con
version," Oswald said ; " and Newman — well, his
greatest works were written when with us. It is
not likely he will write anything to surpass the
Oxford University Sermons, and after all he may
find he has made a mistake and come back."
Here I may remark that Anglicans constantly

78 Misapprehensions about the Church.
answered appeals to the authority of Newman
by assuming that they had had some secret reve
lation to the effect that he was not satisfied.
Newman might repudiate such an idea over and
over again, he might declare that " Protestantism
is the dreariest of possible religions ; that the
thought of the Anglican service made him shiver,
and that the thought of the Thirty-nine Articles
made him shudder;"1 somehow Anglicans chose
to look upon him as a witness in their favour
until a conclusive refutation of their hints and
inuendoes, if they fell short of positive assertions,
was given on his receiving a Cardinal's hat from
Leo XIII. To the last, I believe, Dr. Pusey
wrote he was sure dear Newman would never
accept it !
I did not know on what the champion founded
her charge against the Church of want of con
sistency. Probably it may have been from some
muddle between doctrine and discipline, and from
ignorance that whereas her doctrine ever remains
the same, the Church varies her discipline to suit
the needs and circumstances both of places and
of times. Perhaps too in the Protestant histories
which she had read, the opinions of the heretical
Bishops in the East were quoted as teachings
of the Church of that time. Their insubordina
tion to the See of St. Peter no doubt appeared to
her a convincing argument that the claims of that
See were unwarrantable. Once in reading some
1 Catholic Letters of Cardinal Newman, p. 37.

Sybella studies the Catechism of Trent. 79

early ecclesiastical history, I asked her to remark
how St. Athanasius was constantly appealing to
Rome, and that it was always heretics who
objected to the Pope's authority. She said she
did not think so much of St. Athanasius since she
had read more about him. Saints who have been
conspicuous in defending dogma do not as a rule
excite the admiration of those who are outside
the Church.
I do not know what account of the proceed
ings at Trent the champion had been studying,
but I do not think she followed the example of my
friend Sybella, who wrote :
" I am reading among other things Donovan's
Catechism of ihe Council of Trent; being driven to
the perusal of this work by the violent abuse of
' Papists ' to which I was a listener at our late
missionary meetings. Hearing their Church
stigmatized as an enemy of the Christian religion,
and yet being sure that there do exist many true
Christians in her pale, I was determined to see
for myself, if the errors of that Church were really
so deadly as to cause her to forfeit the very name
of Christian. I cannot decide till I have finished
the book, which is of considerable size, being
intended as an assistance to the clergy in their
pastoral duties, but as far as I have gone I can
discover no heresy, only some assertions on com
paratively trivial points, for which I can see no
authority in Scripture."

80 EtheTs Perplexities.
To return to the champion's letters.
"September 18, 1852.
"I did like your letter very much : you write
so fully and amply on subjects, that I find yours
most satisfactory epistles. I perceive you are
decidedly less Popish than you were three
weeks ago, which I ascribe to the absence of
Popish friends and the presence of Oswald.
How long will it last, do you think, after
you reach Currah ? Not many days, I am
sure, for it would be impossible but that
you should be somewhat influenced by our
friends, who of course will be anxious to
complete the work they left in so auspicious
a state."It seems to me just now that the more I think
about the question, the less I know what to
think; for even supposing one had attained a
' conviction ' either way, we have no decided
proof that such a conviction is true. Pusey and
Manning, both learned and excellent and earnest,
must be convinced in their own minds, and yet
one of the two must be very far from the truth :
and then I think that we are so very apt to be
swayed far more than we are aware of by our
own inclinations and dispositions. You see I
have not advanced at all since I wrote to you
last on this subject. . . .
" I am not altogether surprised at Mr. Somers
writing as he did, for I think he may fairly

She finds fault with Milner. 81

have supposed himself to have some grounds
for fear that your attachment to 'our beloved
Church' might be shaken. I suppose he
does not in this instance understand by that
his ' grand universal Church,' so we may hope
he is becoming a good Churchman, perhaps
under the influence of Robert Wilberforce's
book. " I should like to know where you find yourself
when you have reduced your reasons to writing.
Should you mind telling me ? It might help me
to the same discovery.
" I was grieved the other day in reading
' Milner ' to find him say, that Scripture without
tradition is a ' dead letter.' It seemed to me so
very irreverent and false, when there is so very
much in Scripture that every one can understand
and which if they only acted up to it would be
sufficient to ensure a holy life. Then I cannot
see how the Anglican Church can be said to
reject tradition, which all the Roman Catholics
say we do. I think we hold all that we believe
to be Apostolic. There are a few questions I
should much like to ask an enlightened Roman
Catholic, but I am afraid I shall not have an
opportunity. . . . How very nice your expeditions
to the mountains must be, and how delightful to
be within reach of such beautiful scenery as you
describe. I suppose you will astonish your
drawing-master by your collection of sketches
when you return to Clifton."
G

82 Is there still an Infallible Church ?
" September 29.
"... Yes, I do fear for you at Currah, for
you cannot but be influenced by your friends, and
there will be no counteracting influence. I fear
you will forget your present intention of giving
the question a fair examination and making a
search for truth ; for you are already talking about
secondary motives, such as the necessity of giving
up Protestant and Puseyite friends, which I think
should be the last considerations instead of the
first. Don't be in a hurry, and recollect the six
years you have promised to wait, however
powerful Mr. de Vere's arguments may be and his
earnestness to complete the work. ... I feel so
puzzled sometimes, when thinking of the con
flicting opinions of the Anglican and Roman
Catholic divines, I am almost tempted to envy
Mr. Somers his extended views embracing all
denominations, but then I am sure they cannot
be right.
" Mr. de Vere thinks there is a necessity for and
must be an infallible visible Church ; but supposing,
in virtue of our Saviour's promise, we might expect
to find such on earth, yet His promise as all other
recorded promises were, was conditional, and
therefore liable to be forfeited, and who can say
that the Church at different periods has not
as a body been corrupt, though some faithful have
always been found in it, and if so, is it wrong to
imagine that the light of the Holy Spirit has been
withdrawn from it (as we might believe from some

An Anglican on General Councils. 83

of the later definitions) in proportion as it has
been faithless to the charge committed to it ?
" As to the Article you mention, I don't think
that it says that the whole Church has erred in
matters pertaining to God, but that General
Councils have done so, and if we don't believe
that we must all be Papists, at all events if we
allow Trent to have been a General Council.
" I may as well conclude this letter by giving
you the extracts you asked for concerning the
Councils. " ' Nice in the Sixth Canon decrees that every
Patriarch within his province hath full and perfect
jurisdiction, without any dependence on the
Church or Bishop of Rome, and that the juris
diction of the Church or Bishop of Rome is no
less limited than that of the other Bishops or
Patriarchs. In the confession of faith, according
to the Council of Trent, they swear with the same
breath wherewith they profess their reception of
all the Canons and General Councils that they
acknowledge the Holy Catholic and Apostolic
Church of Rome to be the mother and mistress
of all other Churches, and the Pope to be
Successor of St. Peter, the Prince of the Apostles,
and to be also the Vicar of Jesus Christ, to
whom obedience is due.' "
This profession of faith at Trent is here sup
posed to contradict the Sixth Canon of Nice!
What a confusion Anglicans get into between

84 Patriarchates and the Apostolic See.
Patriarchates and the Primacy ! Because the
sees of Antioch and Alexandria, as being con
nected with St. Peter, had more authority than
others, therefore Rome, where St. Peter finally
fixed his seat, had no greater authority than
Antioch and Alexandria. They will not face the
fact of the Divine institution of St. Peter's office,
nor the evidence that it was always recognized
by the Church, and that those bodies which
called it in question were invariably heretics, any
more than they will take into consideration the
fact of the continued existence of the Apostolic
See through well-nigh nineteen centuries, depend
ing for its support on the Divine power and
Providence that called it into being. That it has
been so maintained they attribute not to Divine
Providence, but to the ambition of every indi
vidual Pope.
Reading the history of the First General
Council, I meet with the following passage:
"What is actually seen at the Nicene Council
is that the three greater Metropolitans (who
from the middle of the fifth century were called
Patriarchs, but long before possessed their pre
rogatives), the Bishops of Rome, Alexandria, and
Antioch, were in possession of a higher authority
than the rest, an authority which had come down
to them from the first origin of their sees, and
which the Council did not create, but recognize.
Though their sees were the most renowned cities
of the Empire, the higher authority of these

The Sixth Canon of Nice. 85
Bishops was carried back to the Apostle Peter,
who had sat in person, first at Antioch and then
at Rome, and had placed his disciple Mark at
Alexandria. The name of Peter stood at the
head of the episcopal catalogue in these three
sees, and the local tradition in all of them gave
constant witness afterwards to Peter in many
various ways. The Nicene Council knew only
these three superior metropolitans, recognizing
their special rights in the Sixth Canon,1 which
runs thus :
" Let the ancient custom continue in force
which subsists in Egypt, Libya, and Pentapolis,
by which the Bishop of Alexandria possesses
authority over all these, since the like custom
subsists also with the Roman Bishop. In like
manner also their privileges should be preserved
to the Churches, as to Antioch and the other
provinces. And in general it is plain that if any
one becomes a Bishop without the consent of the
metropolitan, the great Council decrees that he
do not remain a Bishop. But if two or three,
through individual spirit of contention, resist the
general choice of all, which is at once reasonable
and according to ecclesiastical rule, let the voice
of the majority prevail.
"In these terms the Council admitted what
were afterwards called the patriarchal rights of
1 Hergenrother, Photius, i. pp. 26—30, shows that the Sixth
Canon speaks of the rights of the great metropolitans over a
complex of provinces.

86 The Sees of Alexandria and Antioch.
the Bishop of Alexandria, over the three civil
provinces of Egypt, Libya, and Pentapolis, which
in the time of St. Athanasius had nearly a
hundred Bishops. It admitted a similar right
in the see of Antioch over the metropolitans
subject to it, in which patriarchate both metro
politans and Bishops were much more numerous
than those subject to the Alexandrine Bishop.
The Council in this Sixth Canon justified the
prerogatives which it thus admitted in the see
of Alexandria by reference to a similar right
existing and exercised at Rome; and then by
force of the same principle recognized the prero
gative of Antioch and of metropolitans in general.
" In the previous history of the Church, these
three named sees, which were often called in a
special sense 'the Apostolic Sees,' exercised a
sort of hierarchical triumvirate which the Roman
See, ever strenuous in its grasp of tradition, firmly
maintained." Mr. Allies goes on to remark that " from early
times the Popes recognized the two Bishops of
Alexandria and Antioch as, conjointly with them
selves, successors of St. Peter, and quotes the
remarkable letter of St. Gregory the Great to the
Bishop of Antioch.1
The second extract sent by the zealous " cham
pion " is as follows :
" At the Council of Ephesus it was determined
'that it should not be lawful for any one to
1 The Throne ofthe Fisherman, p. 53.

A Decree of the Council of Ephesus. 87

produce, write, or compose, any other creed
besides that which was agreed on and defined
by the holy Fathers who were met together at
Nice by the Holy Spirit, and those who should
dare to compose, produce, or offer any other
creed to such as desired to return to the truth
from Paganism, Judaism, or any heresy whatever,
, should, if Bishops, be deprived from the episcopal
throne ; if inferior clergy, be deprived of Holy
Orders ; if laymen, excommunicated or cast out
of the Church.' You will observe," my corre
spondent continues, "how very much the spirit,
if not the letter, of the last has been set aside by
the articles of faith which the Council of Trent
has added since."
It is curious that the obvious interpretation
of such a decree does not suggest itself — viz.,
that it prohibited the substitution of another
creed for that defined at Nice. Would it not
be absurd to suppose that the Church, whose
voice is that of the Holy Spirit, could say that
whatever heresies might arise in future ages,
there would be no further interference on the
part of that same Holy Spirit Whose office it is
to guide her into all truth according to the
promise of her Divine Founder ? Is it not utter
folly to maintain that after the year 325 any
heretic might teach what he chose, and that the
Church should be powerless to contradict him
and to proclaim the Catholic doctrine ? If the

88 Cave on the Council of Chalcedon.
Church could speak with no uncertain voice at
Nice, why not also at Chalcedon and at Trent ?
The letter goes on : "I am going to make a
long extract from Cave on the subject of the
Primacy of St. Peter being asserted at Nice, as
/ thought that one of the most convincing of
Mr. Allies' arguments, and it seems you accept
it. Speaking of the Fifth Session of the Council
of Chalcedon, Cave says : ' After this, things
went on smoothly till they came to frame the
Canons, among which one was that the Bishop
of Constantinople should enjoy equal privileges
with the Bishop of Rome, and then the Legates
could hold no longer plainly telling them that
this was a violation of the Constitution of Nice,
and that their commission obliged them by all
ways to preserve the Papal dignity, and to reject
the designs of any who, relying on the greatness
of their cities, should attempt anything to the
contrary.' " To prove that this was contrary to the Nicene
decrees, they produced the Sixth and Seventh
Canons of that Council, beginning thus, as Pascha-
sinus (the Papal Legate) repeated them: 'The
Church of Rome ever had the Primacy ; let Egypt
therefore have this privilege, that the Bishop of
Alexandria have power, &c. ; ' where instead of
the first words of that Canon, ' Let ancient
customs still prevail,' the Legate shuffled in this
sentence as more to his purpose, 'The Church
of Rome ever had the Primacy.' And admitting

Conduct of the Roman Legates. 89
here that this was only the title to that Canon
in the Roman copy, yet it is somewhat more
than suspicious that Paschasinus intended it
should be understood as part of the Canon itself,
and if so there could not be a bolder piece of
forgery and imposture. But the Fathers were
not to be so imposed on. Actius, Archdeacon of
Constantinople, produced a copy from among the
records of that Church, which he delivered to
Constantine the secretary, who read it according
to the genuine words of the Canon without any
such addition, ' Let ancient customs still prevail,'
&c, and in confirmation of that were read the
second and third Canons of the Second General
Council of Constantinople.1 And because the
Legate had objected that the Canon had been
procured by fraud, the judges required ihe Bishops
concerned to declare their minds, who all readily
declared the contrary. The case having been thus
fully debated, and nothing material being alleged
against it, the Canon passed by the unanimous
suffrage of the Fathers, the Roman Legates only
entering their protestation and resolving to
acquaint the Pope with what was done, that so

1 This third Canon was an innovation of the order of the
Church in its attempt to give precedence to the see of Constan
tinople next after that of Rome, on account of Constantinople
being the New Rome and seat of the temporal Government, thus
substituting a secular reason for those spiritual laws which had
hitherto ruled the Church. The Canons of this Council had
not been received by the Western Church.

90 Leo asserts his Prerogative.
he might judge of the injury done to his own see
and the violence offered to the Canons."
I do not know whether the Anglican authority
from which the above is taken went on to detail
what followed — probably not. He would have
had to mention how the Legates went back to
Rome ; how the Council sent a letter to Leo,
begging him to confirm the privileges of Con
stantinople ; how the Emperor Marcian wrote
to the same effect, and Anatolius, the then occu
pant of the see, made the most urgent repre
sentations, hoping to induce Leo to disavow the
action of his Legates. Leo refused to innovate
on the constitution of the Church. The claim
of Constantinople rested on its being an Imperial
residence, not an Apostolic see. The Canon, Leo
said, would contradict the privileges of Antioch
and Alexandria as well as the rights of provincial
Primates, the Sixth Canon of the Nicene Council,
and all the constitutions of the Fathers, and
much more to the same effect. In his letter to
the Empress Pulcheria, Leo says : " What has
been obtained from the Bishops, disregarding the
rules of the Nicene Council, We annul by the
authority of the Apostle St. Peter." He wrote
very reprovingly to Anatolius, and "confirmed
only the decrees of faith as passed in the Council
of Chalcedon." Because Anatolius, angered at
the censure on himself, would not publish this
letter, the Eutychians made out that the Pope

Anatolius makes his submission. 91
disapproved of the Council. Whereupon the
Emperor Marcian, in February, 453, begged the
Pope "to confirm the Council in a letter which
should be read in all the churches."1 Anatolius
in the following year (April, 454) wrote an apology
to Leo, protesting that he had no personal ambi
tion, and submitting to the decision of His
Holiness. The Pope explained to the Emperor how he
had already confirmed the dogmatic decrees of
the Council in the letter which Anatolius had
concealed. He now did this again in a letter
to all the Bishops who had been present at
Chalcedon, approving all the decisions of the
Council in matters of faith, but rejecting all that
had been passed against the Canons of the
Nicene Council.
If this explanation and true version of eccle
siastical history in the fourth and fifth centuries
was not forthcoming at the moment, I do not
think the " champion's " extracts much disturbed
the conviction that was possessing me of the
consistency of the Church's teaching. I knew
I should find an answer when opportunity offered,
and that soon in our projected visit to Currah
Chase. Meanwhile we were spending a very
pleasant time with our relations, some thirty
miles from Dublin. We were within reach of
many points of interest, and with the beautiful
1 The Throne of the Fisherman, p. 529.

92 Visit to Ireland.
Wicklow mountains to be seen in the distance.
A day spent in rambling over one of these,
Lug na Quilla, and an expedition to the Seven
Churches of Glendalough, I shall ever remember.
My aunt, our hostess, was as original in her
way as Mrs. Wrangham. Her three daughters,
though very unlike herself, were equally loveable.
She had no inclination for intellectual pursuits.
She was anxious that people should please them
selves in their own way and not be interfered
with. Oswald had proposed a visit at the same
time as ours, which my aunt said was " a mercy,
because there would be some one who could
understand him." " What he says is all Hebrew
and Greek to me," she confided to us one day.
We were reading Miller's Philosophy of History to
him. This was a proceeding with which she
could not be expected to sympathize.
At Clifton, Ethel and I had been much
interested in the first volume of Ruskin's Modem
Painters. I brought the second volume with me
to Ireland, for the gratification of one of my
cousins who was much devoted to painting. I
used to read to her as we drove together in
a pony cart on some of these long expeditions.
What a quantity of books we got through in
those few weeks ! Meanwhile my correspondence
with the " champion " was going on. I think the
fears she mentions in the last- quoted letter, that
I should cut short the time of inquiry and come
quickly to a decision, may have been caused by

Moehler's Symbolism. 93

the influence on my mind of a book which
occupied all the spare moments I had to myself
during that visit. This was the second volume
of Moehler's Symbolism, the first part of which
treats of the Church, and contrasts the Catholic
with the Lutheran doctrine. I was struck by
some remarks in this work on the prayer of our
Lord recorded in St. John xvii., where He prays
for His disciples and asks that the Visible Unity
of His Church may be a proof to the world of
His own Divine Mission. We may read words
many a time ^without their import coming home
to us. It was now perhaps for the first time that
I considered all that this prayer of our Lord
implied. He prayed not only for His immediate
disciples, but for those also who through their
word should believe in Him, " that they all may
be one, . . . that the world may believe that
Thou hast serit Me." Unity was to be the mark
— a visible unity. In what body of Christians
is this to be found except in that body which
reveres the Bishop of Rome as its visible Head ?
An invisible unity would not be a fulfilment of
, our Lord's prayer. National Churches at variance
with each other, and exercising little or no control
over the faith of their members, would not seem
to accomplish His intention. Many are found
to say that His intention has not been carried
out, that His Divine purpose has failed. But in
contradiction of this bold assertion there is this
fact of one Church to be met with in every part

94 Unity, a Mark of God's Kingdom.
of the world, which claims to be God's Kingdom
upon earth, and is in possession of a unity which
its enemies cannot and do not deny. It is not
a unity they envy. At what a price, say they, is
not this unity maintained ? It involves a slavery
of the intellect, a surrender of the will to which
the right-thinking, and free-born Briton, could
never submit. Better far the diversity of sects
and creeds that we see around us, than that
liberty of thought should be fettered in any way.
Oswald's view was that the Roman Catholic
teaching was too objective, and made belief too
little dependent on the moral state of the
individual. He composed an essay, " On the
Value of Opinion," which I wrote out at his
dictation. This little treatise gave the idea that
we were doomed, all our life long, to be searching
after truth. We might all come to different con
clusions, although since we possess a common
human nature, a certain amount of agreement
was to be looked for. We must be content with
this. We must ascertain that our motives in
making the inquiry are right. We must be
careful not to be influenced by prejudices and
prepossessions, not to give way to indolence and
inclination. In fact, we had to be on our guard
against so many things and we were in such a
disadvantageous position generally, that the pros
pect of arriving at truth at last did not seem to
be very hopeful.
I quote the following passages from Oswald's

Extracts from Oswald's Essay. 95
essay : " A condition of certainty upon more than
the lowest points in the Christian system is
plainly impossible. The rest must ever stand
upon evidence more or less imperfect, on proofs
which shall convey assurance merely relative. Yet
much may be attained ; enough to act upon, and
in some measure to be satisfied with ; for nature
and revelation confirm each other in the assurance
that God is a Being of mercy and compassion."
After describing the arrogance and presumption
of some modern sectarians who in their appeal
to reason too often appealed to a standard which
had never been prepared for more than the
simplest exercise, and who were unable, perhaps,
to master a single century of history, to explain
connectedly a single chapter of the Bible, or to
detect a very simple fallacy; and after insisting
on that right condition of the moral nature
which we find in Scripture universally required
previous to the acceptance or understanding of
the Christian dispensation, Oswald asks : " Where
then is any place for the overconfidence which
on all sides is heard, for that daring presumption
which ventures upon an inquiry with any assur
ance but that of insufficiency and weakness, or
which would exclude from any hope of truth such
as have differed from a conclusion which at all
events has resulted from evidence which can be
only partial ? "
The conclusion is that " a probability, formed

96 Probability, a sufficient Guide.
according to the, amount of each man's knowledge
and the state of each man's moral disposition,
must be to him a law. By this he must be
content here to be guided and by this hereafter
doubtless he is to be judged. That this pro
bability leads men in various directions, does not
impair it as a law of action to individuals.
Natural diversity of constitutions, and the vast
complexity of the world of thought, and the
accident of position and experience, require that
particular theories must approve themselves to
particular persons. . . . Nor can it be said that
this very uncertainty is otherwise than in accord
ance with the known purpose of the present life,
where through long and trying exercise we have
in some part to gain that habit of thought, whose
development will form one element of future
happiness. Such a habit of thought requires the
qualities of patience, humility, a deep watchful
ness learned from the position in which we know
ourselves to be never safe, together with the love
and fear of the Divine Being. It requires also a
great variety of circumstance and of temptation,
through which we only learn to know ourselves —
in fact, all those habits of disposition which once
belonged instinctively to human nature, but to
which, since the fall of man, all have to struggle
back." Lest I should have given too gloomy an account
of my cousin's essay, I must add the concluding

Evil of Oswald's Views. 97
sentences. They are meant to be re-assuring.
" To what hope or rest others may attach them
selves in the weary passage of the world to its
longed-for end, is not of great account to us.
We cannot exchange our being and personality ;
in this we are isolated and alone with our own
character, the special result of countless acts and
thoughts which have been specially ours, and of
which for the most part we have been the
authors. Yet some union is to be looked for on
the ground of that common nature of moral
sentiment and intelligence which all inherit, and
much for us individually, in that the last revela
tion but confirms the assurance that no earthly
perplexity can entirely take away the Nature of
the Supreme Being as a Person of Infinite Love.
This, with our share of that common nature and
with our particular differences, must direct to us
our own way — leaving us, not to despair through
the difficulty, but to act upon hope ; not to mourn
in dejection over the darkness of the world's
course, but to pray that its weary purpose be
quickly ended."
Shall I write as the motto ofthe essay, "Behold
we know not anything " ? I asked. Oswald
promptly responded : " If the essay ever tempts
you to doubt, put it in the fire."
I think the greatest evil of these views lies
in the wrong idea that they instil of our good
and loving God and Father. To represent the

98 St. Paul's Account of his Mission.
attainment of truth as so very difficult as to be
well-nigh impossible, suggests either that He must
be indifferent as to whether His children possess
the truth, or that He has not cared enough for
them to provide them with an unerring guide
whose credentials it is within the power of all to
recognize. St. Paul's view of his own mission was, that
he preached " to enlighten all men, that they may
see what is the dispensation of the mystery which
hath been hidden from eternity in God. That
the manifold wisdom of God may be made known,
. . . through the Church."
Was the Church nowadays powerless to make
the truth known ? Were we never to rise above
probability, were we never to possess the certainty
of faith ? Why should we be worse off than were
the people to whom St. Paul wrote ? I used to
read this Epistle to the Ephesians, which speaks
so much of light and love, and the unity of faith
and union with Christ, and to compare it with
what I read in Moehler about the Catholic
Church, and then to compare it with the uncer
tainty and contradictions outside, till the suspicion
was not long in arising that if our religion is to
be a Scriptural religion that religion will most
certainly not be Protestantism.

CHAPTER IV.
Misgivings excited by Protestant calumnies. Their effect on
the imagination. Mr. de Vere's advice on the importance of
attending only to the one question : Is there a Divine Teacher
in the world ? This question can never be a subordinate one.
Difficulties to be surmounted. Necessity for perfect sincerity.
Visits in Ireland. Newman's book on Anglican difficulties.
The effect it produced. Why the principles of the Oxford
movement made it impossible for those who would retain them,
to remain in the English Church. Lessons learnt from the first
seven lectures. The difficulties dealt with in the second part of
the work. The superiority of Protestant states in material
prosperity. The world and the Church have different standards
of right and wrong. Protestants cannot understand that faith
may exist without works. That there is perfect unity of doctrine
throughout the Roman Catholic Church, an undeniable fact.
A parallel to the position of the Greek Church to be found in
that of the Nestorians. It is no argument in favour of Angli
canism. Consoling reflections with regard to those who have been
brought up in heresy and schism. Arguments derived from
¦ecclesiastical history in favour of the Church of Rome.
Return to Clifton. Depression of spirits. Mr. Manning's
Lectures giving the reason for his secession. Oswald's remarks
about them. Reflections about Faith. Two letters from
Mr. Aubrey de Vere. Our Lady of La Salette. Analogy
between the manifestations of God recorded in the Old Testa
ment and those which take place in the Catholic Church.
Mr. de Vere had impressed upon us that we
were not to take fright at any of the scandals
that we might hear in Ireland about electioneering
priests, &c. I do not remember what it was

ioo Protestant Calumnies.

that occasioned the following letter from him,
but at that time, when secessions to Rome were
comparatively a novelty, most extraordinary stories
used to be circulated. We were continually
hearing tales ofthe "deterioration of character"
which was to be observed in converts.
" Mount Trenchard, Foynes,
" September 14, 1852.
" Thanks for your little note and for being so
good as to tell me of the misgivings which you are
so naughty as to feel on no better authority than
a newspaper paragraph. I have already written
for information on the subject, and till I receive
it I had better say only that in the reports
circulated to the discredit of eminent Catholics
just now there is generally no truth, and seldom
more than just enough to give a foundation for
an enormous mass of exaggeration and calumny.
For this there is no help. Such 'hearsay' is the
very food on which Protestant prejudice lives;
and in such matters the rule is a simple one,
viz., that the supply corresponds with and equals
the demand. The misfortune is that the imagina
tion remains oppressed even when the mind is
disabused. "But who shall contend with legion? One
report confuted, a thousand new ones take its
place ; and in this species of warfare, retaliation
is not a weapon which Catholics are permitted
to use : for with them detraction, even where there

Their Effect on the Imagination. 101
is nothing of untruth or distortion, is considered
one of the gravest offences against charity. Since
the plague of locusts there never was anything
like the swarm of rumours, reports, and falsehoods,
intentional or unintentional, with which the air
has been darkened during the last two years.
I often wonder how through such a cloud it
should ever be possible to direct one's steps in
the right way, and reach that only place of refuge
in which truth and peace are found at once, and
from the eminence of which we see the utter
irrelevancy of the innumerable trifles by which
our attention was so often withdrawn from the
essential and directed to the accidental. What
is impossible with man is possible with God ; and
it is through His grace only, and by the gracious
leading of His Spirit that we are enabled to
advance in the way of salvation. Except through
His aid not only are we unable to find, but even
to seek. Our very inquiries lose themselves in a
labyrinth of paths which cross each other every
moment and lead no whither. It is by the leading
of the Spirit that we distinguish between these
and the one path which conducts us through the
forest, and issues forth into light.
" I will not attempt to tell you, my dear friends,
how much I sympathize with you in the difficulties
which beset you. I know them by experience, but
I should be sorry to think that your experience
of them was to be as various and to last as long.
How many years, gone alas ! for ever, did I not

102 Is there a Divine Teacher ?

lose by not keeping steadily before me that one-
question upon which yet I could not but have
sufficiently known that all depended : the question
as to whether God has or not, commissioned a
Divine Authority to teach us authentically His
Truth and His. Will, and, if so, what community
upon earth stands forward thus as His Prophet
and the expounder of His Word. Be wiser, I
beseech you, than I was, and do not allow your
attention to be distracted from this one inquiry
which God has given us the means of making
effectually. If we were competent to sit in
judgment on this or that doctrine in detail in
our individual capacity, God would not have
constituted a Church in His beloved Son, and
filled it with His Holy Spirit that it might guide
us to our Heavenly Home. If there be a Church
and if we be external to it, is it not self-evident
that we must, from the disadvantage of that
position which we have inherited, see its doctrines.
and its practices alike in a false perspective, as
Dissenters do those of the Established Church,
and so condemn what we have not apprehended
aright? Is it not certain also that in such a
position we could not possibly decide for ourselves
what Christian doctrines are or are not essential,
what required to be defined and on what difference
of opinion is allowable ? Let us never forget
that such a question, as which of the various
religious communities around us is the Messenger
and Apostle of God, can never be a subordinate

The One Question of Importance. 103
one. It is all or nothing. If we have ever
realized the idea that this is the question indeed
at issue, a great grace has been accorded to us.
Let us be faithful to this, and light will be given
us in proportion as the eye can bear it.
" All this sounds dry and hard, and unlike the
discussions which we used to have at Clifton
and which we shall have, I trust, at Currah, for
one never can say what one wants on paper.
Yet it is suggested even more by what I have
fancied (for you have been very much in my
thoughts) must be your position and trials in
Irish Protestant society, and in the excitement
that succeeds an election, than by anything that
you tell me. You must have many difficulties,
more even than you know, for the spirit of delusion
weaves snares most carefully round those whom
he fears to lose. But you have one sufficient
security in the aid of Him through Whose grace
alone you have been led to take a real interest in
the one question worthy of our serious considera
tion. You will, I am sure, be sincere with
yourselves. Perfect sincerity will preserve you
from falling into innumerable entanglements from
which extrication is difficult. It will make you
use the means at your disposal and co-operate
with grace. It will make you distinguish between
vague impressions on matters upon which we can
have no accurate information and solid opinions ;
and again between the firmest opinions attested
only by human judgment, and the clear and

104 Spirit in which to seek Truth.
definite certainty of convictions founded on the
witness of God and His Church, and communi
cated to us by faith. I do not fear for you, for I
am sure you are sincere and I know that you will
always pray for light and that the prayers of others
will support your own. In the meantime do not
be astonished at finding perplexities in your way,
and remember that it is in the spirit of hope, not
of fear, that we must seek the truth ; for we are
in the hands of a loving Father, Who loves us
most when we need Him most, Who watches
the steps of each of His creatures and counts
the beating of every heart in which He has a
place. " God bless you, my dear little friends, and guide
you aright in all things. Remember me most
cordially to your mother and your cousin and to
his sister when you write to her. Accept once
more my best thanks for your little note, and
believe me ever most truly and kindly yours,
"Aubrey de Vere."
If Ireland had had a charm for us when we
were staying with our Protestant relations; if
there was a peculiar fascination in the blueness
of the mountains and the rich brown of the moors
and the intense crimson of the sunsets, the charm
and the fascination were increased when we found
ourselves at Currah Chase with Sir Vere and
Lady de Vere. I think this visit was one of the
happiest times in our young lives. We had never

The Established Church in Ireland. 105
been in a more congenial atmosphere. We had
never had such an opportunity for becoming
acquainted with all the arguments for Catholicism.
I spent a good deal of time alone in the house
when the others were out, and had a feast on the
works of Newman and other Catholic writers.
Any difficulties we had were answered fully by
our friends. Personally I had but few difficulties,
and would have asked nothing better than to
be received into the Church there and then.
The Protestant service at Adare to which we
went was very miserable. The preacher read
out a passage from the Bible which he said did
not sound Scriptural. He hoped, however, to show
us that it was capable of being interpreted in a
Scriptural sense. How I longed to be getting
out at the Catholic chapel and hearing Mass
with our friends instead of " going further to fare
worse," as they expressed it. Catholicism was
the religion of the country. The Establishment
was an intruder, that was evident. It was a
question I sometimes asked High Church people
like Mr. Cleveland. Which Church should one
attend in Ireland. On the Continent, Mr. Cleve
land maintained, it was the duty of an English
Churchman to go to Mass. It seemed to me
that the same rule ought in consistency to
apply to Ireland, Catholicism being the religion
of the people. No, Mr. Cleveland was inclined
to think that the Established religion was the
right one to follow there. Could he mean —

io6 Cardinal Newman's Writings.

established by Act of Parliament, or did he mean
— established by Christ ?
We had a good deal of reading aloud at Currah
Chase. Newman's Anglican Difficulties was one
work we read, also Loss and Gain, a story I never
tire of reading again. It is a characteristic of
Cardinal Newman's writings that one can read
them many and many a time. One always finds in
them something fresh and something adapted to
one's present frame of mind. They appeal to me
now as forcibly as they did in youth or middle
life. Many authors that are favourites at one
period lose their charm later. Authors that were
less appreciated formerly are seen to have great
merit when the judgment has become more
matured. The charm of Cardinal Newman's
writings remains. It does but become intensified
with time. His words read to us, as he has said,
our "wants and feelings, and comfort us by the
very reading," " opening a way to the inquiring
and soothing the perplexed."
Perhaps it was not till I read these lectures,
On the Difficulties felt by Anglicans in Catholic
Teaching, that the reasons why Anglicans ought
to submit themselves to the Roman Catholic
Church, and ought not to be content to remain
where they are if they accept Catholic teaching,
presented themselves in a very definite shape to
my mind. The Roman Church had always had
an attraction for me. I had, moreover, failed to
see on what grounds doctrines which were spoken

Lectures on Anglican Difficulties. 107
of as "corruptions" were to be rejected. But
might we not hold these doctrines and go on very
well as outsiders ? Was it not more humble
and more becoming to remain in the form of
Christianity in which we had been born ? No
one would find fault with us for that. No one
indeed would know that any other course had
been suggested to us. It seemed eminently the
safe thing to do. Safe indeed so far as this
world was concerned, but what about the next ?
Could it be safe if, as was here asserted, the
Roman Catholic Church was the Kingdom of
Christ upon earth, a claim which no other
Church could in any way substantiate ?
Newman addressed himself to the Oxford
religious party of 1833, and assuming that the
principles which that party advocated were true,
he insisted that there was no consistent course
open to the holders of such principles but to
submit to the Church of Rome. Now we had
always been taught these principles, but we had
also been taught, that they were held by the
English Church. We were told that ifthey were
directly contradicted and preached against by
nearly all the clergy whose ministrations we
attended, this was the fault of those clergy. It
was said to be an accident which arose from the
circumstances of the times, the want of discipline
and the interference of the State. Newman
proved conclusively, so far as I could see, that
this was not the case. The reception those

108 The Branch Church Theory.
principles had met with in the English Church,
showed how utterly foreign they were to the
nature of that Church. In the first place, the
main idea of the movement was to destroy
Erastianism. Erastianism was so inherent in
the very constitution of the Established Religion,
that, " to destroy Erastianism was to destroy the
religion." Again, the impossibility that those who would
retain the principles of the movement should
remain in the National Church was evident,
because now, in direct contradiction to those
principles, they would be obliged to appeal to
their own private judgment as a basis for the
religious doctrines which they professed, instead
of appealing to an external authority. They had
no authority. The Bishops of the Established
Church were against them. Its divines were
against them. Its law-courts were against them.
Its Prayer Book could not be made to sanction
all their doctrines. These doctrines were as
entirely the fruit of their private judgment as
were the doctrines of any of the sects in England.
The Branch Church theory Newman demolished.
He showed that a Branch Church must be a
National Church, and that a National Church
must be necessarily Erastian. It is the Catho
licity of the Church which frees her from the
jurisdiction of the State. It enables her to
fulfil the purpose of the Incarnation, to found
a Kingdom that should be independent of the

The Church a Divine Messenger. 109
kingdoms of this world. The existence of such
a Kingdom — an isolated Church without any
visible Head, and at the same time without any
centre of unity apart from the Temporal Sovereign
— would be impossible.
Those who despise dogma, and who look upon
religion as merely a matter of opinion, and who
advocate religion only so far as it conduces to
civil order and to the service of the State, are
consistent in denying the authority of the Church.
If the Church has no Divine message to deliver,
and no Divine work to do, what need is there for
its existence ? The Church to be intelligible,
must have both its dogma and its sacraments.
She must have truths to teach, and spiritual
benefits to bestow which cannot be gained
without her. She must be "built upon facts,
not opinions ; on immemorial testimony, not on
private judgment." It is her consciousness that
God has given her a doctrine to deliver and a
work to do, which makes her so bold and so
uncompromising in the assertion of her independ
ence. The supernatural doctrine which she has
received from Jesus Christ and the supernatural
powers which He has bestowed on her priesthood,
are her justification for the position which she
has always assumed in face of the civil power.
The Tract -writers had set forth Catholic doctrine
and the reality of priestly power with the firm
conviction that such truths had only to be clearly
stated to be recognized at once as doctrines of

no Position of the Tract -Writers.

the English Church. They were, as the writers
considered, incontestably the teaching of the
Apostles and of the early Church. When, how
ever, the voice of the English Church was heard
through her Bishops, who one and all of them
were opposed to such an interpretation of her
Articles and her Prayer Book, consistent members
of the party could not but feel that the ground
was cut from under their feet. They might hold
this or that doctrine, but they must hold it on
private judgment. Authority they had none.
The English Church disavowed that authority
with which the Tract-writers had invested her.
There was one Church only on the earth which
even claimed such authority. To that Church
they must, if they would be true to their principles,
betake themselves.
Such is, in brief, what I gathered from the
first seven of Newman's lectures. The five
lectures which constitute the second part of the
series, deal, not with the difficulties of the Anglo-
Catholic in the Established Church, but with
certain objections, against the Roman Church,
which might tend to deter Anglicans from
joining it lest they should find in it difficulties
as great or greater than the difficulties in their
own communion.
The first of these objections commends itself
very much to the ordinary British mind, viz., that
Protestant countries are superior to Catholic
countries in material prosperity, in secular pro-

The Church and the World. in
gress, or in what is called civilization. There
are more railroads in England, she is superior
to other nations in mechanical inventions, her
ships are better built. Admitting for the sake of
argument this to be the fact, Newman asks, What
has this to do with the question ? The Church
has her own distinct work. She does not profess
to invent steam-engines and build ironclads.
Her one aim is to save souls. Her interest in
these material things is only so far as they may
conduce to some spiritual good. Mechanical
inventions are not necessary to salvation, so it
is not reasonable to reproach her with not having
made any.
Again, there is a perpetual and a necessary
antagonism between the world and the Church
in their altogether different standards of right
and wrong. Virtues which are considered essential
by the Church, such as the virtues of faith, of
purity, and of charity by which the soul is united
to its Creator, are not made much of by the world.
An outward respectability is all that the world
recognizes. The judgment of the Church is that
of her Divine Master: "I judge not according
to the look of man, for man seeth those things
which appear, but ihe Lord beholdeth ihe heart."
Worldly people, whose standard is not His, are
shocked and scandalized. They have no know
ledge of Divine principles. They cannot, there
fore, be fair judges of a Divine Church and of
her work. It is a more difficult work than is

1 1 2 Protestant Idea of Faith.
that which the world has to perform. The Church
has to contend with the inclinations of fallen
nature instead of ministering to them. Her work
is moreover a hidden work, and the good which
she does is of necessity in the most important
of its results secret.
Another difficulty which Protestants feel is
what they consider the levity and the want of
reverence which seems to them apparent wherever
Catholicism is the religion of the people. The
reason is because they are Protestants. As Pro
testants they have no conception of faith as
Catholics understand it. Faith is a certainty,
a spiritual sight of the unseen. It can and it
does exist without love, and without obedience.
It is quite possible to have faith, as real as is the
faith of a martyr, and yet not to act upon it. It
is quite possible to know with certainty what
will be the consequences of sin and yet, for
the sake of an immediate satisfaction, to commit
sin. Individuals will be good or bad in a Catholic
community, as well as in a Protestant community.
In the former, however, in spite of their being
bad, they will retain the knowledge of revealed
truths as facts. They will have them before their
minds as facts, not as mere matters of opinion.
Hence the phenomenon which is so puzzling to
Protestants, of Catholics who believe in super
natural truths leading bad lives. Protestants have
no idea of faith as distinct from hope, and love,

Faith may exist without Works. 113
and obedience. If faith does not show itself in
works, according to them, faith does not exist.
God in His mercy has ordained that it should be
otherwise. By means of this gift of faith many a
soul which has lived for years in sin is brought
back to Him at last, to Him in Whom it has
ever believed at least, even if it has neglected to
obey His commandments.
The objections to Catholicism which are stated
by Jewell and others, that there are as many
varieties of opinion among Catholics as among
Protestants, seems to Newman almost too futile
to call for a serious reply. It is to him evident
that no one who chooses to inquire can have any
doubt as to what the teaching of the Catholic
Church is about any one article of faith. Let
the inquirer but ask one of her priests in any
part of the world, and the answer will be the
same. If there is this undoubted unity with
regard to all revealed truth, why may there not
be differences with regard to questions which are
mere matters of opinion ? The history of the
way in which the Church has dealt with and
has finally eradicated heresies within her pale,
furnishes irrefragable testimony to the unitive
power of the Apostolic See. The history of the
Monophysite heresy and, in modern times, the
action of the Church in repressing the wide-spread
heresy of Jansenism supply abundant evidence.
Anglicans find great comfort in dwelling on the
antiquity and the imposing claims of the " Greek

ii4 The Greek Church.

Church," and the number of souls it includes
within its pale. They consider that the separa
tion of such a large religious body from the See
of St. Peter must somehow make their own sepa
rated position safe. It is nevertheless a fact, and a
fact which Holy Scripture teaches us to look for,
that truth is ever opposed. It is opposed not only
by direct contradictions, but by pretences and
impostures which are often so specious as to
mislead the many. The Epistles of the great
Apostle are filled with warnings to this effect.
His warnings seem to point to the emergence of
such phenomena as the Greek Church and Maho-
metanism. In ancient times the heresies of the
Novatians and the Arians were far more widely
spread than is the Greek religion now. A parallel
to the national character of the latter may be
found in those various tribes of Goths which took
possession of the Empire. They had all learned
their form of Christianity from Arian preachers.
All the facts that can be alleged in favour of
the antiquity and the authority of the Greek
Church are to be found in the history of the
Nestorians. The rebellion of the Greek Church
against the supremacy of Rome is no more a true
objection to that supremacy than was the rebellion
of the Nestorians and the Arians.
Newman's eleventh lecture suggests some most
consoling reflections on the irresponsible state
in which we may hope many individuals to be
who, whether in England or in Greece, have

Consoling Reflections. 115
been brought up in heresy and schism. Many
in the Greek Church may be in invincible
ignorance of those truths which that Church
rejects, and they may nevertheless have Divine
faith in those truths which she teaches. They
may also receive an abundance of grace from
Masses and from Sacraments. In our own
country great blessings may be derived from
study of the Written Word of God and from
the Catholic prayers which still find a place
in the Anglican Prayer Book.
The case is different with regard to those
whose eyes have been opened to see the heresy
and schism in their own communion, but who
resolve to shut their eyes, or who at all events
delay to act upon the light vouchsafed to them.
A great grace has been given to those men which
has not been given to others. The pages in which
Newman appeals to these men with all the force
and with all the tenderness of his eloquence, I
wrote out in order that I might always have
them by me to refer to. Never could I put his
words for very long out of my /mind. Many years
were, however, to go by before I was to find the
safe resting-place in "the true home of souls, the
valley of peace," and to receive the fulness of
faith which makes its possessor almost " see
invisible mysteries and touch the threshold of
eternity." It was, however, from the concluding lecture in
Newman's volume that I made the most copious

116 Ecclesiastical History.

extracts in my note-book. There the argument
from ecclesiastical history in favour of the Church
of Rome is drawn out. Newman describes the
impression made on him by finding that the
general theory and position of Anglicanism as a
via media was no novelty. It had always had its
counterpart, and that an heretical counterpart, in
ancient history. It was as a via media between
the extremes of Popery and Protestantism that
Newman had so strongly advocated the claims
of Anglicanism in his work, On the Prophetical
Office of the Church. To find, as he had found in
studying the history of the ancient heresies, that
there had always been an intermediate moderate
heretical party, and that this party in principles
and practice bore an unmistakable resemblance
to modern moderate Protestants, gave the death
blow to his theory. In the history of Arianism,
for instance, we meet with the Eusebians (called
after Eusebius, Bishop of Nicomedia), who pro
fessed to agree neither with St. Athanasius nor
with Arius, but to take a middle and a safer
course. They insulted the Pope and they gained
the favour of Constantine, and still more of his
son and successor Constantius. Newman com
pares the historian Eusebius of Caesarea, who
belonged to this semi-Arian party and whose
writings are characterized, not by an Arianizing,
but by an Eclectic spirit, with certain Anglican
divines. Constantine's letter to the Bishop of
Alexandria and to Arius he cites as an example

A Witness for Rome. 117
of the indifference which the State shows to
religious dogmas, even as regards so vital a
question as is that of the Divinity of our Lord.
He then tells us how he found any defence of
Anglicanism would form an equally cogent defence
for primitive heresies, and that all objections
urged against the Council of Trent were avail
able equally against the primitive Councils.
"It was difficult," he says,1 "to make out how
the Eutychians or Monophysites were heretics,
unless Protestants and Anglicans were heretics
also ; difficult to find arguments against the
Tridentine Fathers which did not tell against
the Fathers of Chalcedon ; difficult to condemn
the Popes of the sixteenth century, without con
demning the Popes of the fifth. The drama of
religion and the combat of truth and error were
ever one and the same. The principles and pro
ceedings of the Church now were those of the
Church then ; the principles and proceedings of
heretics then were those of Protestants now. I
found it so — almost fearfully ; there was an awful
similitude, more awful, because so silent and
unimpassioned, between the dead records of the
past and the feverish chronicle of the present.
The shadow of the fifth century was on the
¦sixteenth. It was like a spirit rising from the
troubled waters of the old world with the shape
.and lineaments of the new. The Church, then,
1 Difficulties felt by Anglicans in Catholic Teaching. Fourth
^Edition, p. 338.

n8 The Via Media.

as now, might be called peremptory and stern,
resolute, overbearing, and relentless ; and heretics
were shifting, changeable, reserved, and deceitful,
ever courting the civil power, and never agreeing
together, except by its aid ; and the civil power
was ever aiming at comprehensions, trying to put
the invisible out of view, and to substitute
expediency for faith."
The more learned Anglican divines evidently
sympathize with ancient heretics. Jeremy Taylor
does not hesitate to express disapproval of the
Nicene Council. He also commends the Letter
of Constantine to Alexander and Arius. On such
a doctrine as that of Jesus Christ being the
Eternal God or a mere creature, he says, " If
the article had been with more simplicity and less
nicety determined, charity would have gained
more, and faith would have lost nothing." Jeremy
Taylor is but one of many. The tendency of the
supporters of the via media is towards latitudi-
narianism. The position of the via media is
heretical. The essential idea of Catholicism is
the infallibility of the Church. The essential
idea of the via media is that the Catholic Church
has fallen into error.
The Roman Catholic Church, moreover, in
its ceremonial and its ritual, its devotions and
its ways of acting, is the only living religion
which can pretend to be a representative of the
Christianity of antiquity.

Doctrinal Definitions. \ 1 9
The history of the doctrinal definitions of the
Church affords a still more striking argument.
Definitions are not accidental, but are governed
by laws. The very same laws will be found to
rule her definitions in every century ofthe Church's
history. This argument is more fully worked out in the
famous book on The Development of Christian
Doctrine, from which Mr. Aubrey de Vere read
to us some passages. The honour which is
due to the Blessed Virgin Mother of God, was
a difficulty to one of our party. Newman
shows the effect which the Arian controversy
had in manifesting the prerogatives of Mary.
The Nicene Council determined that "to exalt
a creature was no recognition of its divinity."
" The highest of creatures is levelled with the
lowest in comparison of the One Creator Him
self. . . . Arius or Asterius did all but confess
that Christ was the Almighty; they said much
more than St. Bernard or St. Alphonsus have since
said of the Blessed Mary; yet they left Him a
creature and were found wanting. Thus there was
' a wonder in Heaven ; ' a throne was seen, far
above all created powers, mediatorial, interces
sory ; a title archetypal ; a crown bright as the
morning star ; a glory issuing from the Eternal
Throne; robes pure as the heavens; and a sceptre
over all ; and who was the predestined heir of
that majesty ? Since it was not high enough for

.120 Lesson from the Arian Controversy.
the Highest, who was that Wisdom, and what
was her name, ' the Mother of fair love, and fear,
and holy hope,' 'exalted like a palm-tree in
Engaddi, and a rose-plant in Jericho,' ' created
from the beginning before the world ' in God's
counsels, and ' in Jerusalem was her power ' ?
The vision is found in the Apocalypse, a Woman
clothed with the sun, and the moon under her
feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars.
The votaries of Mary do not exceed the true faith,
unless the blasphemers of her Son came up to it.
The Church of Rome is not idolatrous, unless
Arianism is orthodoxy."
I wrote out this passage and various extracts
from the lectures ere the sad day came when
we were to say good-bye to our dear friends
at Currah Chase, and to be left once more to
our own resources to free ourselves from Pro
testantism as best we might. How depressed we
felt on our journey home! On arriving at Dublin,
we met some of my mother's ultra-Protestant
cousins. It was a sudden and a startling change.
Olivia was hardly in spirits to make a suitable
rejoinder when one of these ladies inquired :
" Was it not very odd, dear, to be staying in a
house with Roman Catholics ? "
Protestant prejudice was much stronger in
those days than it is now, and Roman Catholics
were looked upon as an altogether different
breed. I suppose it was acknowledged that

Protestant Prejudice. 121
they were human beings. Catholic Emancipa
tion, however, was still too recent for it to be
generally admitted that Roman Catholics were
entitled to the same privileges as are the rest of
their fellow-countrymen. I remember when we
first went to Clifton, a lady, speaking of Catholic
priests, said : " There ought to be a law to prevent
them from walking about." Popery seemed to
be considered infectious. The mere sight of a
priest might suffice to convert a man in spite of
himself. It was an unwilling deference to this
feeling and to the opinions of sound churchmen
which led mother to ask Mr. Neve, the Catholic
priest at Clifton, not to come and see us. He
had been at Currah during the first days of our
visit there. We hoped to see more qf him when
we returned to Clifton.
On our arrival he sent to each of us a note and
with it a book. To Olivia he wrote :
" November 5, 1852.
" Is not this almost like a romance ? or is it
one of the stern realities of this world as when
human beings, instead of living in charity, watch
each other and are afraid of each other as mutual
foes ? I mean the fear you have of seeing me ;
why you are a captive, without freedom and yet
not happy in your captivity. What intolerant
masters you have !
" I will not believe that you are quite satisfied
in your present state. You have a right to make

122 Advice from a Priest.

inquiries ; if I can render you any assistance, I
shall be most happy to do so. I will answer any
question you may wish to put.
" I enclose a letter which I sent to my friends
seven years ago, it may touch some chord in your
own feelings. I hope you pray for guidance, it is
the only way."
This is his note to me :
" I take the liberty of sending a pamphlet of
Mr. Northcote's, published some time ago. It
may interest you to read some of the opinions of
those who were on the point of joining the Church
of Rome. You ought to read both sides, as you
are making inquiries on the subject. Pray believe
that I shall be happy to be of any use to you
in the way of lending you books or answering
questions which are within my capacity. Your
greatest help though in all doubts will be in prayer
for guidance."
I was pleased with this note and with the
expression of interest which it contained. It was
a comfort to know there was one person who
" cared for my soul " — cared for it with that
supernatural love which comes straight from the
Sacred Heart of the Good Shepherd, Who carries
on His Divine Mission of seeking the wanderers
through the priests whom He has consecrated
and appointed to be His representatives on earth.
But, because Mr. Neve was a priest, we were not

Manning's Lectures. 123
to see him. It did seem hard that a friend with
whom we had had such pleasant walks and talks
in Ireland, and whose society we had found so
congenial, should now be as a stranger to us,
simply on account of Mrs. Grundy. I always
resented the sway of that chattering female.
Her power is most pronounced in provincial
towns. Mother had fits of setting her at defiance.
Unfortunately these fits did not last very long.
Mother talked freely on Church questions and
difficulties with the easy-going Herbert Graham.
He was of opinion that there would be no harm in
our going once to hear a French sermon from the
Abbe Miot. We must not, however, make a practice
of it, and we had better come away without
taking part in the service. The visit of a colonial
Bishop was impending, who in the course of the
winter was to preach sermons for the benefit of
his mission in the neighbourhood of Clifton. The
clergy of the Clifton churches, I fancy, regarded
him as too much tainted with Puseyite errors
to allow him to occupy their pulpits. " Dear
Robert," as we had always heard him called, had
been mother's friend since she was sixteen. She
intended to have a talk to him when he came,
about " Rome." I hoped something might occur
to prevent the visit of the Right Reverend Robert.
Till he should appear mother was not averse to the
reading of Catholic books. She procured the four
lectures published by Mr. Manning explaining the
reason of his secession. These she read to us

124 Characteristic Letter from Oswald.
and afterwards handed them to Herbert Graham.
I remember feeling indignant when Lady Millicent
said, " Herbert did not wish her to read them."
The prohibition, however, seemed to imply that
they did not make the comfortable Herbert more
comfortable. It implied also that they might
suggest to Lady Millicent questions which he
might not find it altogether convenient to answer.
Two characteristic letters from Oswald arrived
about this time. " October 19, 1852.
" I was most pleased with your letter, chiefly,
I think, that it told me of your preserving so
kindly a remembrance of our meeting in Ireland,
otherwise it brought but few happy thoughts. It
was not very definite as to your state of mind in
respect to the painful question that must have
often tried the faithfulness and patience of you
all whilst at Currah. However, it is now in some
measure withdrawn, and in place of pity, and
perhaps perplexity, at the sympathy which has
been proffered so abundantly, is the calm tribunal
of retrospect and conscience in the quiet moments
of the day, or the watches of night, weighing the
varied sources of pain and pleasure during your
late visit; perhaps, too, temptations under the
garb of such bold decision, to waive the difficulties
in the way of the step to which you have been
invited, by some shorter consideration and less
earnest application of all your moral and mental

His Pity for Manning. 125
powers, than will secure even a human measure
of assurance. If such have been your thoughts,
tell me, I entreat you. At least you are certain I
can feel for you each and all, wheresoever your
trial in this weary state of probation may visit
you. It is not I believe the act itself in the
perplexity of these times which is of so great
and fearful consequence as the spirit and the
motives." "November 6.
" I have been of late distracted by many things
to do and think about, and so have been unable
to read Manning's new book. I trust, however,
I shall never be so overburdened as to forget you
and your cares, or any whom I have once known
as yourselves. Whilst here alone, I often think
it a great happiness to own some living interests,
though the objects be out of visible reach, but
this introduction is not to the purpose, although
uppermost. The extracts you have quoted seem
to me so vague in argument and altogether empty,
that I cannot but say the opinion of Festus about
the result of learning being madness, seems
sometimes probable. I do not speak in bitterness,
but in pity.
" Faith is said to be identical with certainty.
Where faith begins uncertainty ends, is the general
account supported by appeal to Abraham, Moses,
and others. Now the very simple history of these
characters in the Epistle to the Hebrews, and the
definition there of that faith by which they

126 Oswald's Ideas about Faith.
were strengthened in their pilgrimages, should be
enough to correct this. In the very idea of hope,
it is there said, is the idea of possible failure and
uncertainty. Besides the history of many of
these same persons — Abraham in three instances,
Moses in one, Elijah in one, and others — almost
all in various instances shows how their faith did
at times fail, and that it was not a certainty ; that
the evidence on which their probation was based
was not even to them, at all times, sufficient to
guard them from misgivings as to the continuing
mercy and watchfulness of God. Yet in the main
it was enough ; enough to guide them in patient
expectation to a general course of life which was
pleasing to God, and which no doubt led them to
the land which seemed to them while on earth
very far off, though there is hardly one, excepting
perhaps Samuel and Daniel, of whom some
occasional declension is not recorded. And this
might have been expected in them by those who
will calmly think of the nature of faith, and is to
be looked for still by such as believe the present
dispensation to be still a probation state. For
faith is to be considered objectively and subjec
tively. Thus the objective is the revelation of
God's will, at present imperfect, yet containing
assurance of things so awful and important as
will urge any one to act upon. The subjective
is the mind which receives these suggestions.
Whether they are received and acted upon
depends upon the moral condition, and if they

Faith a Life-long Burden. 127
are so acted upon this result is faith which there
fore is the test of the condition of the subjective
proving its earnestness and patience, a disposition
to realize the dependence of man upon the Creator,
the Redeemer, and Sanctifier, together with all
those affections and relations which fill up the
Christian life and have the value of faith. For if
it were not seen as an active and living principle,
there would be the absence of this essential of
our life towards God ; if our present position were
one of certainty, there would be no room for the
exercise of watchfulness against the lower in
fluences that distract our judgment, of passion,
pride, and self-will, and the whole design of
our present dispensation would be lost, which
represents man as ever trembling on the verge of
an eternal decision which each act, word, and
thought must affect. Thus a position of general
uncertainty is the only one in which the affections
whose expansion will be the happiness of a future
state can be acquired. It is therefore not only
a virtue to act upon probability, but it is the only
way in which patient, earnest virtue is expressed
and perfected, and the habit of so acting is faith,
and those who would gain its promised end must
bear with patience and self-denial its life-long
burden. " I hope you have understood me about faith
generally, as I have not intended to speak of
faith in any particular system, but you must tell
me. I cannot agree with the denial of connection

128 The Catholic Idea of Faith.
between the Christian Church and the Jewish.
The last was indeed a shadow to ours, and ours
is again to the future, but of this connection I
think we wrote something which if it does not
seem satisfactory after your consideration, you
must also write and tell me. Let me lastly
entreat you not to take up such armour as
Manning offered you, without proving it to the
best of your power, and may God keep you from
any sinful judgment in these trying dangers, is
ever my prayer for you all."
Vague, misty, and disheartening, were these
remarks of dear Oswald's. Why was faith to be
a life-long burden, requiring patience and self-
denial to bear it ? That was not the Catholic
idea of faith. Father Faber has written, "Heaven
must indeed be beautiful if the saints can part
there with their gift of faith and not pine to have
it back again." Our faith was to be a burden
so long as life should last. Oswald confuses the
certainty which God means us to have with
regard to the truths which He has revealed, with
the uncertainty in which it is His will we should
live as regards our future, and what He may
require of us in this life.
Tennyson writes :
We have but faith : we cannot know
For knowledge is of things we see.
Aubrey de Vere used to say these lines expressed
the idea about faith which obtained largely in the

Faith is Knowledge. 129
present day. Men had lost not only faith but
even the very meaning of the word. Faith is
knowledge. That was the conclusion which I longed to
arrive at. Those Catholic devotional works,
adapted by Dr. Pusey, and which I so much
appreciated, were based on that certainty which
comes from Divine faith, i.e., belief in a truth
because God has revealed it. When the soul has
once got a glimpse, however imperfect may be its
glimpse of that inestimable gift, it cannot choose
but wish to see more. " Knowledge is of things
we see." Did not Newman say of those to
whom the grace of conversion had been given,
that they " almost seemed to see invisible
mysteries " ?
Our visit at Currah had been so happy, it was
provoking that Oswald should assume a com
miserating tone respecting it. From a note of
his, it appears I was in no hurry to answer his
previous letter. It was perhaps because I could
not honestly say anything about my state of mind
in regard to what he calls, "the painful question,"
that would please and reassure him.
Meanwhile we received the following letters
from Mr. Aubrey de Vere.
" Currah Chase, November 12, 1852.
" My dear little friends, — I believe that the real
reason I am writing to you is because I miss you
J

130 Courage belongs to Faith.
very much, and think it better to have you near
me in imagination, than not at all ; however, I
have found an excellent pretext for adding a
postscript to my packet of fifty sheets (I hope it
arrived safely), for I am sending you a couple
of relics which even Exeter Hall could not
complain of. One is a memorial of Milton, which
I gathered years ago, when I was as enthusiastic
as you can be, though not so young. The other
is a really good autograph of Alfred Tennyson,
a poetic, not a prose one, like that which you
already have. I send a second for Mrs. Vyner,
as I remember she was one of the three competing
parties that pleasant summer evening as we
walked home from the Downs.
"We miss you horribly, and I think it was very
unkind of you to run away from us just as the
leaves were falling from the trees. You are only
' summer friends,' is not that all ?
" I am so glad you have made the acquaintance
of the Northcotes, they are good and clever
people. You are very naughty not to let
Mr. Neve visit you, or rather your mother is, for
I must not give a scolding wrongfully this time.
The last time I sent one to Olivia about Sir J.
Stephen's works, though I see she only threatens
to read them. Tell your mother that she must
not expect the greatest of all blessings without
being willing to dare something ; for courage is
now, as in the early times of the Gospels, one
of the chief attributes of Faith. I have just

Certainty comes through Faith. 131
stumbled on an interesting note from Manning
on this subject, written very soon after his
conversion. If she likes to have it, I will send
it to her. . . . " Ever affectionately yours,
" Aubrey de Vere."
" Currah Chase, November 30, 1852.
" Thanks for your notes, my little friends. I
think that both ' the children ' are growing very
good; but if I had to bet — which has so long
been thought a wise way of solving difficult
questions — I would bet that Minima is the better
of the two, or at least that Olivia oscillates most,
like that useful and ingenious scientific instrument
on the summit of church spires, which stands
giving useful information, where the cross stood in
those ' dark ages ' of ignorance and superstition
shown by Dr. Maitland to be only the ages con
cerning which ' men are in the dark.' There is a
^coff at Olive for saying that she sometimes feels
very Sir-James-Stephenish, and that it is a great
hardship that one cannot see one's way at once to
certainty in these matters. However, I am not
impatient, for I believe that you are in earnest in
your search after Truth, and that is more than
half the battle. You know, also, that neither
sooner nor later can certainty come through
opinion. Certainty comes through Faith, and
Faith comes by Grace ; and Intellectual Inquiry
is, in sacred matters only, instrumentally and

132 Difficulties may be Blessings.
subordinately useful, though in its proper pro
vince it is essential, since if we shrink from
doing our part, God will not do His. Intellectual
Inquiry tells us, with an evidence at least as
strong as that on which we act in the common
affairs of life, whether God has given us a guide
or not, and who that guide is — what are the
functions of the Church, and what are the marks
or notes by which it may be known. Faith is then
at once challenged and directed ; and the rest
must depend on the degree in which we co
operate with grace. Every difficulty in our way
is sent to us, or permitted, by One Who knows
exactly what we can bear; and if we but use
such hindrances aright they will be turned into
blessings, forcing us to cultivate whatever virtues
we most want, in the absence of which not even
Catholicity would avail us — such as patience,
resolution, courage (for every age of Christendom
is a crusading age), and, above all, love for One
Whom we must think of as bleeding ever on the
Cross for us, and counting by the drops of His
Blood the moments that pass until we comply
fully with whatever grace He has given to us.
He is not impatient if we be but sincere and
single-hearted, and allow no unworthy feelings to
counterbalance supernatural duties. He gives.
Grace in different degrees, and requires us only
to co-operate with what is given, and then He
will give more. One step at a time, and that will
give us lighter the next. Have you not observed

How to arrive at Truth. 133
how much, in mounting a hill, your view is ex
tended by a very few paces in advance, provided
they are in an upward direction ? Such a hill is
truth. We may wander round and round for
ever, but from the moment we begin to face the
difficulty, instead of contenting ourselves with
wandering in the pleasant paths, or in those we
are used to, our progress is rapid in most cases,
and sure in all ; only in these matters we must
take great pains to be as superior to the tempta
tions of self-will, or individual taste, or personal
predilections and associations, as we are to self-
interest in its more vulgar forms.
" I am disposed to be a great believer in your
patience at least, my dear Minima, for it must
have required much to copy out that long Essay.1
Had I known what a task lay before you, I would
have tried to make it shorter. I am very glad
you liked it ; and I would write twice as much to
give any one of you (including Mrs. Vyner and
Oswald) the best assistance. I hope that your
mother will write to me again on the subject, now
that she has finished it, and that she has found in
it some help towards contemplating the matter
from a Catholic point of view. I do not know how
much more is possible, while we occupy a position
external to the Roman Catholic Church, than to
see clearly with respect to a particular con
tested doctrine, that our difficulty results mainly
from the point of view which our Protestant or
1 This was an essay on the Veneration of the Saints.

134 The Right Point of View.
Anglican antecedents have hitherto made ours,
that from the Catholic point of view, disorder and
confusion become at once harmony and propor
tion ; and that whether the doctrine be right or
not, the main objections brought against it, those
which are most relied upon, and which have done
work for Protestantism, are unfounded calumnies
and superficial. Other objections or difficulties
may still remain, for in such matters scientific
demonstration is impossible. These difficulties
may also weigh much with our feelings, our
nerves, or our imaginations : but, so far as intel
lectual belief goes, it seems to me that as soon as
we have seen clearly as much as I have just
described, and realized what we have seen, the
question at issue becomes resolved into the ques
tion, ' Which is the right point of view ? Which is
the true analogy or proportion of theology ? '
Thus we arrive again at the question, ' Which is
the One Catholic and Apostolic Church sent by
God to be our Guide ? ' According as this ques
tion is decided, the question ofthe Saints must be
decided, so far as certainty goes. But in the
meantime a great obstacle is removed, which
might otherwise have hindered us from looking
steadily at the great cardinal point of all dis
cussion, from the moment we perceive that the
Protestant doctrine about the Saints, however
confidently or plausibly urged, is after all but a
'view' and 'tradition,' like the Dissenting theory
respecting the Sacraments, Episcopacy, and the

Dr. Hook. 135

Invisible Church, by many unhappily associated
with the Scriptural and the Spiritual, but in
reality negative only, and narrow.
" Poor Dr. Hook ! I know the Nonentity and
Inanity. It is very sad, but it will do work for
Protestantism better than Bishop Hall's via
media. Those who believe- with him that the
Saints see what is going on here, in the mass,
will come to ask themselves whether the same
faculty must not enable them to see things in
detail, and those who really wish to honour them
will discover that such honour is a practical thing,
and not an abstraction. Dr. Hook's tone is faithful
to the Protestant tradition, and it will have its
effect, alas, even with those who do not accept
his opinions on the subject. I should like to read
the ' loose thoughts.'
" So Herbert Graham believes in Convocation
and Lord Derby.
Ah ! that a Conqueror's word should be so dear —
A gift of that, &c.
" What say you of the Bishop of South Caro
lina's submission to Rome ? He, indeed, must
have had some difficulties to contend with ! I
hope the Bishop of Brechin will also erelong be
at rest.
" Now I must say good-bye, and God bless you
both. Remember me most kindly to your mother,
and tell her that I am not likely to forget our
walks, as I still walk to the rock in the dusk of

136 Supernatural Occurrences.
almost every evening. I hope I shall get her
promised letter soon.
" Yours very affectionately,
"Aubrey de Vere."
Mr. Northcote, mentioned in the preceding
letter, whose acquaintance we had just made, had
been an Anglican clergyman in the diocese of
Exeter. He lent us an interesting correspondence
which he had with Bishop Philpotts before resign
ing his office. He wrote some interesting articles
in the Rambler about Our Lady of Salette. This
story was exciting attention at that time. It was
a grief to me that my mother could never under
stand the Catholic doctrine about the Blessed
Virgin and the Saints. She thought that to
invoke the saints was to invest them with Omni
potence. She could not see that we had any
warrant for supposing the saints could hear us,
or could know anything at all about our affairs.
Occurrences such as the apparition of La Salette
or the conversion of Alphonse Ratisbonne were
very distasteful to her. I could not feel shocked
at them myself. I wished that it was not thought
wrong of me not to be shocked. The same sort
of things happened in the Bible. In the Old
Testament God is represented as constantly
giving warnings and manifesting His will to His
servants, much in the same way as He does now
in the Catholic Church. Protestants believe that
angels interfered in olden days with the dwellers

Jewish and Christian Saints. 137
on earth. They are sure that angels can have
nothing to do with us in these enlightened times.
Dear mother used often to say how blessed it
must have been to have lived under the Jewish
Dispensation. Then people could go and inquire
of the Lord and receive an answer ! How wonder
ful to have seen the glory of the Lord dwelling
upon Sinai and covering it with a cloud, and to
have talked with Moses after he had gone up into
the mountain and remained there forty days and
forty nights !
To those who are outside the Church it may
well seem as if the Jewish people were more
highly favoured than are Christians. Could this
really be the case ? If Almighty God held familiar
and direct intercourse with the prophets and saints
of old, why should He not vouchsafe the same
favours to His servants now ? We were to believe
that the angel of the Lord spoke to Elias and
bade him eat of the heavenly food which was to
strengthen him for his forty days' journey to the
Mount of God. Why might we not believe that
angels could speak to us and we to them ? Why
might we not believe that there were still on
earth chosen souls who need no other food than
the Living Bread that comes down from Heaven ?
We were taught that the Lord spoke to Elias in
his cave on Horeb ; why should He not have
spoken also to Francis on the mountain of
Alvernia, and to Ignatius in the grotto of
Manresa ?

138 God's Intercourse with Man.
Thoughts such as these were suggested to me
by our Latitudinarian friend, Mr. Somers. " If
you believe the Scripture miracles," he used to
say, "you have no choice but to believe the eccle
siastical miracles. Newman shows that plainly in
his Essay on Miracles." In like manner, if we
believe in the constant intercourse of God with
man as related to us in the Old Testament, we
must cease to have any difficulty with regard to
that which is supernatural in the lives of the
Saints. I considered that the Bible might be God's way
of writing history. I thought that if the account
of what was going on at the present time were
put on record by an inspired writer, a very
different view would be presented of it. Many
people and many incidents which the world
ignores would be brought into prominence. Much
that we think of vast importance would be little
accounted of in such a narrative. As great an
element of the miraculous and of the supernatural
might be manifested as in the books of the Old
Testament. The contents of the Old Testament
do not surprise us because we have been familiar
with them from childhood. I said " as great,"
but surely there would be a far greater element
of the supernatural nowadays. The relations of
God with man are so much nearer and more
intimate since "the Word was made Flesh."

CHAPTER V.
Letters from Mr. de Vere. God's action through secondary
agencies. The intercession of God's Saints and the one Mediator.
Holy Scripture and the honour due to the Saints. A question
for the Church, rather than for private judgment. The functions
of the Church. Our duties towards the Church.
Doctrines not defined by the Church until definition is neces
sary. Many examples of the cultus of the Saints in the first
centuries. Their intercession referred to in the ancient Liturgies.
The Roman Liturgy. Explanation of certain prayers for Saints.
The Notes of the Church in their plainness.
The old Cathedrals of England, and some thoughts which
they suggest.
Protest of the High Church party at the time of the Gorham
judgment. If the Church of England did not proclaim her faith
in Baptism because she had no power of making her voice
heard, she found power of voice to pronounce judgment against
the Papal Supremacy. On that doctrine her members were
agreed. Authority found only in the Catholic Church. Her " Notes "
easily perceived even by the unlearned.
The point really at issue. Are the difficulties greater now
than they were at Pentecost ?
My mother appears to have written a letter
about the essay on the veneration of Saints
mentioned in the preceding chapter. To this the
following letter from Mr. Aubrey de Vere is a
reply. " Currah Chase, December 13, 1852.
" I think still that you are pretty good in those
matters — better than you think yourself in some
respects — and what if worse in others ?

140 Saints, Instruments of Grace.

" Let me begin with the good. You say that
you see clearly that at least one objection to the
cultus of the saints is illusory — that which sup
poses that in the Catholic system they stand
between the Christian and his Redeemer so as to
separate. They must then be intermediate, as
the sacraments, the ministry, &c, are, that is, as
bonds to connect, not as bars to sever ; for in things
Divine nothing can be indifferent. The saints
are idols, or they are actually the channels and
instruments through which, as through other
bonds, Christ gives us His gifts and gives us
Himself. St. Thomas Aquinas puts this clearly.
This is so, he says, ' not because there is any
thing lacking in God's mercy, but that His fore
ordained order be preserved in all things' — the
order, namely, by which He commonly acts
through secondary agencies, making men the
instruments to each other of His Providence in
the order of Nature; prayers, preaching, sacra
ments, saints, &c, &c, in that of grace. You
have taken in then the great Catholic idea,
and that is half the battle. Nor can Bishop
Hall and such writers be very great authorities
to you, since it is plain that so far from having
fathomed the mighty matter concerning which
they wrote as confidently as if they had had
half the existing Church to back them, they
actually reversed the great principle upon which
all depends, as the Dissenters do when they
affirm that the doctrine of the priesthood

Mediation and Intercession. 141
puts a man between the Christian and his
Saviour. " Those who have not grasped the idea have no
faculty for understanding Scripture aright on the
subject. Let me give you one instance out of a
hundred. How many of the ' great divines '
quote, against the Catholic doctrine, the text,
' There is one Mediator between God and man,
the Man Christ Jesus ! ' yet the very next verse
might have opened their eyes : it is, ' Who gave
Himself a ransom for all ' — pointing out that the
mediation here spoken of is the incommunicable
one of expiation and atonement. That it cannot
refer to the mediation of intercession is equally
clear from the three preceding verses command
ing men not to forget that to take their share in
Christ's office of intercession is not only a privi
lege, but a duty. See 2 St. Timothy 2 — 5. Alas !
that to understand what no Catholic child, rightly
taught, could stumble at, should have been so
difficult to learned men out of the fold that it
was comparatively easy to attribute to nearly the
whole Church of East and West an utter ignor
ance of the fundamental verity that Christ is our
Redeemer !
"Well, but you say Holy Scripture does not
command us to give religious honours to the
saints, as it commands us to ' love one another,'
&c. But this depends wholly on the interpretation
of Scripture. It does tell us to honour God in
His saints, to give honour to whom honour is

142 The Functions of the Church.
due, not to speak of countless other passages
alluded to in my essay, which are not more vague
in their nature than the texts you refer to. The
question is whether all such texts alike are to be
taken in their larger meaning, or in some restricted
sense. That again depends on who is to inter
pret Scripture — the individual or the Church.
Only ask yourself seriously, Are we or are we
not to hear the Church ? If she has any function,
must it not be to judge in such cases ? Who can
understand Holy Scripture so well as she to
whom it was given, and she who has the Spirit
that inspired it ? Who can witness respecting
antiquity so well as she who did not succeed to
the Primitive Church, but is that Church, living
through all the ages, in the Eternal Present of Him
in Whom she stands ? The real and sole mode of
solving such questions must be the inquiry:
' Has God still a witness on earth or not ; and
if so, which of the claimants is that witness?
Have we or have we not the means of exercising
faith and obedience?' We may be strongly
moved to put this question aside when we seem
to ourselves to have some strong moral or
spiritual intuition into the sinfulness. oi an essential
Roman doctrine or practice : but that stumbling-
block removed, to insist on having a perfectly
clear intellectual comprehension of the doctrine in
all its bearings— to know why a practice is
expedient as well as without offence, and why
it was defined in later Councils rather than in

The Church our Teacher. 143
earlier, and what is the real meaning of a par
ticular canon in a particular Council which no
one pretends to be a General one (like that of
Laodicea), and why early writers confessedly not
always explicit on the Trinity were not explicit on
the saints — surely all this is utterly and fatally to
mistake the province of the individual Christian !
It is conceivable that there should be no Church :
but if there be one it is not conceivable, much less
possible, that the individual should, while out of her
fold, have that very knowledge which she was
constituted to give him, if she was constituted at
all. Were such the case a Church would have
been needless as a teacher ; and submission to
her creeds or their interpretation could not
possibly be an act of faith. At most it could
be but an act of acquiescence, our individual
approval ofthe decisions ofthe Church of Christ.'
" Such would be but one more form of self-
deception, and private judgment under a mask.
If we do not see this clearly, and resolve finally
to act on that perception, a moment's reflection
will show us that we are in a forest in which to
us there can be no path : for of such critical
objections in detail there is literally no end. As
long as we like to read new books on all sides of
all subjects we must necessarily find a fresh crop
of such objections ; and even if we do not read
them, we know that they exist. We have then
to decide whether God did or did not command
the Gospel to be preached to the poor, and give

144 Our Duties toward the Church.
them the means of knowing what is His authentic
Word. I am not urging any one to precipitation ;
it may often be dangerous, as to trifle with grace
or outstay the ' acceptable time ' may be, and so
often is, fatal. I only say that we should propose
the subject of inquiry to ourselves in such a way
as to admit of a possible answer, and not in one
which after a thousand years of inquiry would
end, like a game of cat's-cradle, where it began.
" You believe in a Church. This is an infinite
mercy. It is not from ' flesh and blood,' but from
grace that we are enabled even to grasp the idea
of one. Now, then, be quite sincere with your
self, and ask yourself: 'If there be any Church,
has it any functions, and if so what are they ; and
if I owe it any duty, what is that duty ; and if I
am not sure which is the true Church, how is that
knowledge which includes all others (as when of
old one decided between the claims of Simon
Peter and Simon Magus), accessible to me ? '
" I am almost doing you a wrong when I go into
mere matters of detail, for in so doing I seem to
sanction a false principle : but I will do so a
little, under protest, and assuring you that this is
not the way either to truth or peace.
" i. The statement of the book you speak of
that certain definitions were not made till later
times is, as you will observe at once, wholly
irrelevant, for there is no necessary connection
between the time of the practice and the time
of the definition. Definitions are made by the

Definitions made when Needed. 145
Church simply as occasion demands them, and
commonly avoided, not sought, because fhe
Church teaches as a mother and as far as she
may, avoids the character of a mere Dogmatist.
The Creed of Pope Pius, like the Athanasian
Creed, was made when circumstances required
it : and the doctrines of the Trinity and the
Incarnation were not the less primitive because
the definitions on the subject belong to the fourth
and fifth centuries, not to the first century.
"2. If any one has the least doubt as to whether
the cultus of the saints arose in the twelfth
century or in early times, he has only to get any
book of Catholic citations from the Fathers, beg
of his Protestant friend to strike his pencil
through every passage of which he thinks the
authenticity even doubtful, and then try how he
can explain the rest. Waterworth's Faith of
Catholics has hundreds of pages consisting of
such citations only, and not from the later
Fathers, but from those of the classical ages in
which all the greatest Fathers lived — the ages of
the first four General Councils. You will see at
once what admissions have also been made on
this subject by some ofthe more learned Anglican
divines by turning to the chapter on the saints in
Challoner's Catholic Christian Instructed, in which
you will find much to interest you. Now, if any
one is likely to know the sentiments of the first
three centuries, whose records are but few, must
it not be the Fathers who immediately succeeded
K

146 The Ancient Liturgies.
them, and who in their works and Councils pro
fessed to retain the traditionary faith? If they
are not to be trusted in this matter, how can they
be trusted in others? If they did not know
what their forefathers thought, how can we ?
" 3. The statement that the ancient Liturgies do
not contain invocations to the saints is absolutely
and wholly beside the question, for the Roman
Liturgy is equally void of them. The Liturgy
is the Mass or " Tremendous Sacrifice " of the
Church, and that is offered to God only. Prayers
to the saints never occur in the Liturgy, but in
special Litanies, &c.
"4. But so far from its being true that, as
Bishop Bull says, the Intercessions of the saints
are not referred to, the opposite is the fact, as any
one can see by referring to Waterworth, or to the
work on the Ancient Liturgies, by Dr. Brett, the
Anglican Non-juror. Prayers to God, beseech
ing Him to help us by the ' Intercessions ' of
' Blessed Mary ever Virgin,' &c, are a promi
nent part of almost all of them. The form is
nearly the same as that in which the references
to the ministrations of the saints are now made
in the Roman Liturgy and in all other prayers
addressed to God.
" 5- There are also a few exceptional prayers in
the records of early times, for, not to the Blessed
Virgin and the Apostles. They did not proceed
from any doubts as to their salvation, and they
may be understood on that principle on which

Explanation of Certain Prayers. 147
we pray for things certain, as ' Thy Kingdom
come,' ' Thy will be done,' not as endeavouring
to move God to what He would not otherwise
grant, but as expressing the consentaneousness of
our will with His will, and making our prayers
an instrument through which He does what He
pleases to do. Apparently such prayers gradually
ceased (while the other class was continued),
because of two views of the saints perfectly com
patible, the Church attached herself more and
more to the more prominent and special one. It
is also very probable that the doctrine of the
saints rose into greater clearness as the doctrine
of the Trinity did so. Those who object to the
'theory' of development, entirely forget that
their counter-opinion on the subject is also but a
'theory' of their own. But the change in this
instance does not necessarily involve the theory
01 development at all. In the meantime one
thing is certain : namely, that if the prayers for
the Blessed Virgin, the Apostles, &c, were in
consistent with the practice of invoking them
(that is, asking them for their prayers), it would
be equally inconsistent with a belief in their
intercession for us. But that is a doctrine admitted
by all the learned, and what proves too much
proves nothing. Protestantism is always the
victim of the sophism called 'false antithesis,'
or imaginary opposition. If the saints did in any
sense need our prayers for them, which is far
indeed from being the case, how would such a

148 The Notes of the Church.
circumstance prove that we did not need theirs ?
Do we not pray for those on earth whose prayers
we in turn invoke ?
" What is that book on the Church of which you
speak ? If it is small enough for you to send it
over with a guard of half a dozen stamps, I will
gladly read it, and do anything I can to adjudi
cate between him and Dr. Klee.
" But, alas, I must end as I began . . . and you
must not be angry with me. These are not ihe
points really at issue; and if they were, every
pebble in the road to Paradise would be a fresh
stone of offence. The question of the Church,
and the nature and rule of faith — that is all in all.
By God's grace we can find God's Prophet and
Apostle. The simplest can find his guide if he
will : the wisest cannot, without that guide, find
his way. How, for instance, could you ascertain
with the certainty of faith whether my quotations
from the Fathers or those of a Protestant friend
gave you most of their real mind ? whether the
books I would recommend for study or those
that he prefers are the best ? But the ' Notes of
the Church ' are so plain that he who runs can
read. Our ' point of view ' is then determined :
other evidence then falls into its proper subordi
nate place, helping us to direct and apply a faith
which can live and act because it has a fixed
outward object, as well as an inward root.
"Are you not very happy now that you have
your friend the Bishop of N  with you ? Pray

Exultation easier than Resignation. 149
tell me whether he gave you a great scolding, or
was well pleased with you. He might well have
feared, because you almost touch the ' Church of
Rome,' as he would perhaps call it : he might
well take courage, for between 'almost' and
* altogether ' the distance is infinite. Yet a
moment can carry us across it — the moment in
which we exercise faith and rise above opinion
and criticism. What is hardest to man is easiest
to God ; and in Him is our might. Let us try to
train faith through love, and shake off fear once
and for ever, by learning to exult in and love
every sacrifice, great and small, by which love can
be proved, tried, and strengthened. Exultation is
easier than resignation, and the whole is easier
than half, in these matters.
" Pray write to me soon again. Inquirers cannot
guess how much more anxious about them their
Catholic friends must be, than their Protestant
or Anglican friends (even though older and better
friends) can be. But I will not go into this ;
for I greatly object to what may be called
indirect invocations, as substituted for honest
arguments — as when one says, 'This at least
you must hold ! ' ' You cannot be so unfaithful
to your own experiences,' &c. We can but put
forward naked truths, and leave the task of
suasion to the Spirit of God. By the way, I had
not time even to glance over the MS. I sent
you the other day, so pray correct all errors in it,
and do not be angry with any hard sayings. It

150 Inquiries should register Progress.
is a bad compliment to file down such. With
love to ' the children.'
" Ever yours most truly and kindly,
"Aubrey de Vere.
" P.S.— Pray remember that though letters of
Manning's or others that I may send you are for
yourself alone, and that in this age of ' scandals ''
I can trust them no further, anything that I write
on theology you are at perfect liberty to show to
any one who will take the trouble of reading it.
If my remarks are sound, they can do no harm
to any one — if unsound, the sooner they are ex
posed the better. Every Tractarian (one must
use names, however imperfect they may be) of a
manly and candid mind will perceive that what I
cannot but regard as the extremely weak points
or incoherencies of Puseyism, I attribute to the
necessities of an impracticable position, not to
any conscious insincerity. Others are now
passing through the same process which those
whom we converts most revere passed through
in their turn, a little time ago. All is well as
long as inquirers continue to advance, rapidly or
slowly, and register the progress they make from
day to day, so as to keep what they gain, and
avoid the fate of Penelope's web."
Anglicans of the present day have almost
forgotten the Gorham case, and the excitement
which it produced. The conduct of the Bishops
and the clergy who abstained from protesting.

The Cathedrals of England. 151
against the decision that Baptismal Regeneration
was in the Established Church an open question,
was excused by some on the ground that the
Church of England had no means of making her
voice heard. How loudly that Church could
make her voice heard when its members were
agreed, is a fact which is commented on in the
following letter :
" Currah Chase, December 29, 1852.
" I am quite unhappy to hear that you are so
far from well. I am also sorry (though perhaps I
ought not to be so) at what must have been a
great disappointment to you, your not having been
able to go to the Cathedral on Christmas Day !
Now that is very kind of me, is it not, considering
that these Cathedrals are in fact great Roman
Catholic monuments turned against the Church
that built them, and which alone knows how to
use their long-drawn aisles (' linked sweetness
long drawn out ') by an opponent who never will
stand on his own ground, or fight with his own
weapons. However, I cannot help being sorry
that you did not hear the faint echo of the ancient
anthem. Pray forgive me. After all I do not
know how far this regret proves that I am only
an easy, good-natured, not a real, truth-telling
and truth- working friend like Mr. Neve. There
is something to be said on the other hand, too.
The Anglican fair shadows, it is true, are to many
but a delusion and an opiate dream, theological

152 Ritual should symbolize Reality.
blandishments keeping people from perceiving
their need of the great realities which in the
Roman Catholic Church are the solemn, soul-
satisfying substance, symbolized by ritual and
ceremony. But with others, and even with the
same people at a moment of higher grace, they
have an opposite effect. They wear a character
of unreality, and at the same moment they point
to what is real. Do you remember some lines
from Shakespeare which I once quoted to you,
altering but a word ?
Ah me, what thing is Faith itself possessed
If but Faith's shadows be so full of joy ?
" Now, some feeling of this sort occurs to the
High Churchman in the midst of all the borrowed
beauty of a worship which up to a certain point
has been favourable to his spiritual growth, but
has become a limit to it, just as what is good for
infancy is bad for childhood. Suddenly he asks
himself, why should external Types develope aspi
rations which have no corresponding objects, and
elicit ideas which lack a counterpart in reality ?
Patriotism could be but a name if we had no
country ; the affections but a worry and weariness
if, like the raven loosed from the ark, they found
nothing solid on which to alight. And what more
is an altar if there be no sacrifice, or but a
phantom one flatly denied by nine Englishmen
out of ten, as to the nature of which even those
who retain the term cannot agree, and which in

An Altar implies Sacrifice. 153
the end of the discussion commonly turns out
nothing more than the sacrifice of ' ourselves, our
souls, and our bodies,' or else of ' alms and obla
tions,' or 'praise and thanksgiving ' ? Now, these
are all excellent things. They are among the
' first principles,' and are included in the Roman
and in all Christian worship. But these things
constitute at most but a terrestrial or a figurative
sacrifice ; and these things are claimed equally
by all the sects that denounce the very idea of the altar
and of priesthood, and who fancy that the Sacrifice
of Calvary is made of none effect if the Church
on earth offers to God the same Sacrifice which
her Divine Head offers ever in Heaven. Why,
then, the Anglican asks, have we altars like the
primitive Church, if that ' dread and tremendous,
unbloody Sacrifice,' which the primitive Liturgies
proclaim to be the very centre and soul of Chris
tian worship, be wanting ? What can candles, or
no candles, signify to us ; and may it not be very
true that essential forms become formalities when
they cease to be supported by corresponding
realities ? What does it matter whether the font
be of wood or stone, placed at the door or in the
transept, if the highest tribunal to which the
Church submits asserts that it is consistent with
Anglican doctrine to maintain either that infants
are regenerate at the font, or that it is a soul-
destroying error to believe that we are thus ' born
again of water and of the Spirit ' ? It is now
nearly three years since a document was put

154 Protest of the High Church Party
forth by the chief leaders of the High Church
school, and signed, among others, by Dr. Pusey,
Archdeacon Wilberforce, and Mr. Bennett, assert
ing distinctly that ' the Church of England will
eventually be bound' by the said (Gorham)
sentence, unless it shall openly and expressly
reject the erroneous doctrine sanctioned thereby,'
that ' to admit the lawfulness of holding an expo
sition of an Article of the Creed, contradictory of
the essential meaning of that Article, is in truth
and fact to abandon that Article.' 'That any
portion of the Church which does so abandon
the essential meaning of an Article of the Creed,
forfeits, not only the Catholic doctrine in that
Article, but also ihe office and authority to witness
and teach, as a member ofthe Universal Church,' and
that ' by such conscious, wilful, and deliberate act
such portion of the Church becomes formally
separated from the Catholic body, and can no longer
assure to its members the Grace of the Sacraments and
the Remission of Sins.' Three years have nearly
passed, and what has been done? Absolutely
nothing. The High Church body cannot pre
tend to say that that sentence does not com
promise the Church of England ; for they protested
against it on the very grounds that unless
repudiated by the Church of England it must
represent its judgment, and that to maintain
the contrary was but a quibble of the lawyers,
contrary to good faith, to common sense, and
to the verdict of all Christendom. Neither

against the Gorham Judgment. 155
can they say that their protest represents that
of the Church of England, for their utmost
efforts did not procure the signatures of one-
fourth the number of the Anglican clergy. They
tried once to get a better Court of Appeal, and
the Bishop of London's suggestion, though so
inadequate as to have been pronounced at the
time worthless by the leaders of the Tractarian
party, was scornfully rejected, and has never been
brought forward since. . . . The Gorham judgment
then stands — that judgment respecting which
Mr. Gladstone asserted in his pamphlet, that the
Church had only ' to choose between the mess of
pottage and the portion of the bride.' And what
has happened in the meantime ? The Archbishop
of Canterbury has proclaimed that Episcopacy
and the Apostolic Succession are not necessary
marks of the Church ; and that the German
bodies which possess neither are true Churches
notwithstanding. Seventeen hundred clergymen
of the High Church school signed a document
which declared that they could not and would
not admit the Queen's supremacy in spiritual
matters, or matters affecting doctrine. Yet the
Queen's supremacy remains just what it was, and
continues to define, in matters of doctrine, that
Baptismal Regeneration is an open question, and
most of these signatories remain just where they
were. " The Church of England, it was urged, did not
proclaim the faith on the article of Baptism only

1 56 The English Church pronounces
because she was deprived of the power of speaking
and acting. It seemed a very sufficient answer
to this to remark that her chains were chains of
gold, such as even the little Free Kirk of Scotland
had shaken off 'like dew-drops from the lion's
mane ' when a mere point of discipline was in
question ; that to remain in such bondage is
simply to abdicate the primary office of the
Church, that of witnessing to the truth; and that
Christianity would never have spread beyond
Judea if the clergy had not been willing, not only
to live without State assistance, as the Irish clergy
do now, but to live in constant peril of death, as
the English and Irish Catholic clergy did during
a large part of the centuries after the Reforma
tion. But, as if to supersede all doubtful con
siderations, Providence itself stepped in, and
permitted the Church of England to pronounce
its mind more fully and unequivocally, without
Convocation, than it had ever been able to do in
the days of Convocation. The same mighty See
which sent Augustine to be Archbishop of Canter
bury or to be a martyr, like those who bleed
every day in China, sent Dr. Wiseman to be
Archbishop of Westminster. I will not say
whether it had a right to do so or not, for that is
not the question. The same Crown which decapi
tated Cardinal Fisher and Lord Chancellor More,
because those illustrious representatives both of
Church and State in England believed the novel
Royal Supremacy to be an impious error, subver-

Judgment in a matter of Faith. 157
sive of the whole organization of the Christian
Church — the same Crown which in Elizabeth's
reign and in Victoria's reign, appointed Bishops
during the royal pleasure, which, by the admission
of High Churchmen, prohibits the exercise of such
discipline as is necessary to secure the sacraments
from sacrilegious profanation, and imposes on
the Church doctrinal decisions which are simply
heresy — this same Crown was aggrieved by the
so-called ' aggression.' Now I will not assume
either that it had, or had not, cause of complaint,
for that is not the question. I only want to point
out that these apparent accidents gave rise to a
circumstance the most surprising since the Refor
mation. In spite of its bondage, and its absence
of representation, the Church of England rose up
like one man, and with a degree of unanimity
hardly ever witnessed before, which could not be
hoped for in Convocation, and which would be
marvellous even in a General Council, pro
nounced judgment, and that in a matter of faith.
Unchallenged by the State, and not waiting for
Parliament to meet, its Bishops, its clergy, its
Universities proclaimed that wherever the 'unity'
of the One Church may reside, it does not reside
in the Apostolic See. From the great elder
brother who, sitting in Peter's chair, has in all
times of perplexed doctrine, or tyrannic oppres
sion, fulfilled the great charge and ' strengthened
his brethren,' the Anglican clergy appealed — and
to what? To that very Royal Supremacy of

158 Unanimity.

which they had so lately seen the fruits, and
which but a few months before had fastened the
mill-stone of heresy (by the confession of High
Churchmen) round the neck of their Church.
No one can say that this all but universal
declaration did not include doctrine. It distinctly
negatived that of the Papal Supremacy, not to
speak of all those others which are involved in
that doctrine, such as the organic unity of the
Church, the permanence of the Apostolic authority
respecting doctrine and discipline in the Apostolic
Church. Now observe. If it has the external means of
denying the Papal Supremacy, it must have the
external means of denying the Gorham heresy,
and asserting Baptismal Regeneration as the
exclusive truth. Why then has it not done so,
when, according to] the High Church manifesto,
all was at stake ? Because it had not the internal
means of doing so, viz., one mind, one will, or
even a predominance of mind and will in favour
of the truth, and in favour of asserting that truth
to the formal exclusion of ihe opposite error ; in other
words, not because of the oppression of the State,
unquestionable as that is, but because of its own
internal unsoundness.
" And now the very people who signed the
Tractarian manifesto, asserting the fatal con
sequences which must result if the Church (not a
school in the Church) did not repudiate a decision
which it never has repudiated, and which, after

Consistency. 159

the lapse of years, has almost faded from men's
remembrance, like that on the Hampden case, or
the Jerusalem Bishopric, denounce as unfilial,
perhaps as schismatical, the conduct of men like
Manning, H. Wilberforce, Dodsworth, and James
Hope, who signed the same manifesto, but who
meant what they said, and had courage both to
know what they meant and to act upon their
convictions. These men had declared that,
under given circumstances, a certain Church
would be proved to possess neither a teaching
authority, Church-membership, or the grace of
the sacraments. Accordingly, when they had
done all that they could do, and all that has yet
been done, to make the Church of England
repudiate that judgment, and found that the all
was nothing, these men submitted to a Church
which, by the confession of all their old friends,
possesses and has ever possessed in their fulness
those attributes of the Church, not to speak of
others of which she claims the exclusive possession.
And yet to act as they have done is now pro
nounced schismatical or wrong, even by those
some of whom, before the Gorham judgment had
taken place, spoke of Dr. Newman's secession
as the result of God's gracious acceptance of
Catholic prayers, and described him as simply
labouring in ' another part of the same vineyard.'
" My dear friend, only think sincerely with
respect to the point really at issue, and you cannot
be perplexed long by statements so contradictory.

160 The One Important Question.
There are those who can reckon arguments but
never weigh them ; such persons are in danger of
never seeing their way (though Divine grace may
in a moment remove any difficulty), for there are
innumerable arguments to be found on every side
of every question. But you, by God's mercy,
have been enabled all along to see that the
question of the Church, and the true authority in
faith is all in all. You are, therefore, close to the
truth ; and almost a single act of courage would
enable you to close with it and be at rest. You
never have believed in private judgment and never
will. You have not the necessary unreality or
presumptuous daring, and you have the noble
instinct of loyalty. Obedience is not only intel
ligible, but natural to you. You have only, then,
to find the true object for it. You know that
nothing human or mortal can be that object.
It can only be God's Church, as filled with
His Spirit, and plainly declaring His will and His
truth. " You speak of ' your Pope ' being to you what
Manning is to many Catholics. If he really is
you can have no other course than that of
submitting to the one infallible guide ; for it is
only as representing her that Manning has the
weight of a feather with any Catholic. We have
confessors and directors of conscience, but in
theology no guide at all except the Church. Our
teachers agree upon all that she has defined as
belonging to faith. If one teacher denied what

Authority must be Valid. 161
another asserted in the region of faith, we should
be in a position the opposite of that in which
we actually stand. If her most famous Doctor
denied her lightest definition, he would be excom
municated, like the Abbe Lamennais.
" Only bring the matter really to issue, and ask
yourself by whose authority you determine your
course. The Bishop of  ? Well, but how
does he chance to be an authority to you ?
Because he is a Bishop ? But may not the
Bishop of Carolina be as right in advising all
persons to follow his example and submit to
Rome, as the Bishop of  in advising the
opposite course ? Because he is an Anglican
Bishop ? That gives him no external authority
over you unless you were in his diocese. Suppos
ing you were in the diocese of Canterbury or of
York, would you submit your judgment to that
of those Primates rather than to that of Bishop
 ? Or is it that he is your early friend ?
But why should your early friend be more of an
authority than the early friend of any other
person ? Or because he is wise and good ? Very
likely he is. A Catholic may readily assume this,
and I am delighted to do so ; but even if this be
so, you have no reason to know this except what
is founded on your own judgment of wisdom and
goodness. The clergyman of your own parish,
or the Bishop of your own diocese, and much
more that final Court of Appeal to which the
whole Church of England practically submits —

1 62 Authority must come from God.
these have, at first sight, a claim on you ; but
their authority, too, vanishes when you ask them
whence it came to them. But no other individual
can have any. And in obeying any one you would
simply be choosing your authority, which is a contra
diction in terms. As well create a Church, or first
invent a religion, and then receive it as revelation.
" Do not deceive yourself. Any one, the beggar
in the street, may advise us, and a good suggestion
may come from the meanest. But authority
belongs only to him whom God has plainly com
missioned relatively to us, and who can show
his credentials. Dr. Pusey has at least a large
following and a very great name. Yet, if you
said to him, ' How am I to know, except by
private judgment, that all you have been telling
me is true ? ' he could only answer, ' Because I
speak in the name of the Church of England.' If
you were to rejoin, ' Does not the greater part
of the Church of England, and especially of her
chief pastors, disown you as her interpreter ; and
does not the greater part of Christianity disown
the Church of England ; and how then, except
on private judgment, can I side with a small
minority ? ' you would find that he had come to
the end of his dogmatic theology, and that
nothing remained except mysticism and a purely
arbitrary interpretation of the signs of the times,
of which the newspaper is the calendar.
"There is no Authority for us except the
Church; and her 'Notes' are made plain in

Our Duty to Authority. 163
order that the simplest may see them. The least
learned cannot but see that Unity and Catholicity,
where there exist many competitors, can belong
but to one claimant ; and that she cannot be to
us a sure guide in religion who asserts, as the
Ghurch of England does in her 'Articles,' that
every Church may fall in turn, and that General
Councils may err. Only think patiently for a
very little time on the point really at issue ; and
you will see that between a complete authority and
none there is no possible compromise. We have
no authority if we sit in judgment over our Autho
rity. If the Bishop in whom you have confidence
told you to submit to Rome, would he be an
authority ? No. Then how has he authority when
urging you against this course ? Why are not
Manning and Newman authorities also — men who
speak of that which they have tried, and who
assure you that till they were Catholics they were
but groping with dim eyes and feeble hands about
the outer walls of Christianity ?
" Let us beware of self-delusion. Let us call
things by their names. Authority is authority,
and friendship is friendship. Both involve duties,
as do all good things. Our duty to- authority is
to obey it if we have found it consistently attested,
and if not to find it. In the search only may we
exercise private judgment. Our duty to our friends
is to love and serve them, to honour them and
abstain from judging them, nay, to hope that
.they may be high in grace -under circumstances in

164 Our Duty to our Friends.
which we possibly, with our special opportunities
might not, if we were untrue to those opportuni
ties, even be in the way of salvation. But we are
not to be servile to our friends or even to our
benefactors. In making them our masters we
do a wrong to them as well as to ourselves, and
deprive them of all the solid good God might
ultimately have given them by our hand. Yet
how great a snare is this ! How it gratifies
the affections, seems for the moment to give one
rest and shuffle off responsibility ; nay, how it '
tempts one to make promises, which, if unlawful,
ought of course to be openly withdrawn from the
first moment that we know them to have been
wrongly made, and which may eventually, if we
fail to do this, force us to be false to all our
earliest and most sacred engagements and obliga
tions. Be true to yourself, and you will be true
to your friends. Be true to God and to His
Church, and you will be true to yourself. . . .
" Good-bye, and God bless you.
" With all the good wishes of this most holy
and blessed season, "Yours most cordially,
"Aubrey de Vere.
" P.S. — Above all things beware of irrelevances.
in discussion. Mark well the difference between
what is really theological argument — whether
sound, or fallacious argument — and theological.
statements which, though of high interest, and.

Irrelevant Arguments. 165
with important practical bearings, yet constitute
literally no argument at all. Mere theological
rhetoric and declamation are the most insidious
foes to all real theology. They only draw you
into a boundless and unhealthy forest, out of
which escape is often difficult when you have
once entered. I will give you one suggestion by
which you may avoid the snare. When pressed
by irrelevant arguments ask yourself, 'What
would these allegations prove, relatively to the
point at issue, whether they be true or not ? '
Consider only the arguments that remain after
this sifting process has been gone through ; and
then, depend on it, you will have time enough for
books of devotion and those spiritual exercises
which say so much more to the soul. These last
are all that we need when we have once found a
true and authentic authority in matters of faith ;
but to throw ourselves exclusively even upon
these, holy as they are, in order to avoid inquiry,
would be but an evasion.
" On reading over my letter it seems to me
very cold, dry, and hard. . . . However, it is
sincere; and sincerity, which is so much in all
things, seems to be almost all in' all in what
concerns souls. One should always shun all
except Divine considerations in Divine things.
I would not, if I could, tell you how deeply I
sympathize with you. The spirit of delusion
tries us most when he sees that we are escaping
from him. He knows that when our faces are

1 66 Ancient and Modern Difficulties.
once fairly set in the right direction our feet are
brought to the distant shore and planted on the
rock, almost instantly, as if by angelic aid. The
moment you bring yourself to look your opinions
in the face and confess to yourself and others
that you have doubts as to the Church of
England, it is probable that more than half your
trial may be over. Your doubts will be finally
settled almost as soon as they are fairly acknow
ledged. I beseech you to side with all that is
strongest and noblest in you and against whatever
is weakest. Do not think it unfilial to inquire
whether she who alone claims you with a mother's
authority and a mother's love may not indeed be
your mother — or disloyal to ask whether the earth
still contains a real object for loyalty in the
highest sense of the word.
" I often wonder whether the difficulties as to
entering the one Fold are greater or less now
than they were when St. Peter opened the com
mission of the Gospel, first to the Jews and then
to the Gentiles. Now it is difficult to believe
that bodies clad in the venerable raiment they
carried off with them from the Church's stores,
and preaching many doctrines either hers or like
hers, are but in appearance what they claim to
be. Then it was difficult to believe that the
Church of God was a thing of yesterday, without
a history save that of a few persons ignominiously
put to death ! "

CHAPTER VI.
High Church friends. Mr. Allies' book on St. Peter, his
Name and his Office. Ethel's opinion on the danger of a hurried
inquiry. A Colonial Bishop points out the danger of any
inquiry at all. Margaret Percival. Her uncle's advice.
A long letter from Milly. Her views. Her fears. Her desire
for the restoration of the godly discipline of penance. Her
appreciation of suffering, mental and physical. Description of
the death she wished to die. How her wish was realized.
Archdeacon Wilberforce's Sermons On the New Birth of Man's
Nature. Dr. Arnold's opinion of the English divines. Wrong
ideas about the Sacramental system.
Charles Kingsley's novels. First visit to Oxford. Ethel's
letters from Scotland. Her description of the Presbyterian
service. Extracts from Diary on religious difficulties. Letters from
Mr. Aubrey de Vere. The " Church of our Baptism." Mr.
Manning comes to Clifton. Interviews with him, and the
effect of them.
We had a High Church acquaintance at Clifton,
Mr. Linlithgow Scott. He used to have long
talks with mother on Church matters. I remem
ber that soon after our return from Ireland he
invited us to a select party of persons who were
supposed " to think alike " on those subjects.
Here we met Mr. Woodford, afterwards Bishop
of Ely, who had already made his mark in
Bristol as a preacher. He had the church of
Lower Easton, then in the suburbs of Bristol.

1 68 The Primacy of St. Peter.
His sermons and choral services attracted many
to his church. Although he was an Anglican
parson, we liked him very much. He was sympa
thetic and attractive through his originality and
his simplicity. His sermons were decidedly
striking.' After we came to know him better we
used to have arguments with him on the Roman
question. To Mr. Linlithgow Scott we were indebted for
a perusal of Mr. Allies' book, St. Peter, his Name
and his Office. If one of our convert friends
had offered to lend my mother this work, pro
bably the offer would not have been accepted.
But Mr. Linlithgow Scott was a thoroughly good
Churchman. He said that he had been surprised
to find how very much there was about St. Peter
in the Bible. Mr. Allies had collected all the
texts and facts which bore upon that great
Apostle. It really was a very fair work, and
very instructive. We should be interested in it,
and as members of the English Church we might
at all events recognize the Primacy of St. Peter.
When the book came I found that Mr. Linlithgow
Scott had left off reading it just at the place
where the demonstration of the untenableness
of the Anglican position began. The leaves of
that portion of the book were not cut. I took
care that they should be cut before the volume
was returned. Some instinct must have warned
good Mr. Linlithgow Scott that it was better for
his peace of mind that those pages should

A Safeguard against Popery. 169
remain uncut. Had he read them, he might
have had some scruple in placing arguments so
cogent within reach of young people with inquiring
minds. Unfortunately, or fortunately, that idea
did not seem to enter into the heads of our elders.
They were so sure of the impregnability of their
religious position, they were so utterly impervious
to any attacks on Anglicanism, and they were so
attached to their own "incomparable Liturgy,"
that they failed to perceive that ours was a totally
different frame of mind. Moreover, their theory
was that those who had been brought up in
sound Church principles were cased in armour
that could withstand all attacks. They were
impervious to Popery on the one side, and to
Rationalism on the other. They said that only
those whose training had been Evangelical became
converts to Rome. Evangelicals were so fasci
nated when first they grasped the true idea of a
visible Church, that they did not know where to
stop. We had been familiar with this true idea
from our childhood, and therefore we were not
likely to be deluded by Popish arguments.
Ethel Vyner was more correct in her judgment.
She writes :
" I only read Oswald the parts of your letter
that you intended for him, for as he has not been
looking or talking in a melancholy way lately of
you, I thought it was well not to make him un
comfortable by telling him of all your doubts and

1 70 Warnings from Ethel.
waverings . . . He is very glad to hear that
Olivia is so industrious upon her picture of the
seven churches, more particularly as he presumes
she intends it for him in compliance with his
request. I am glad to hear of your acquaintance
with Mr. Woodford, that is, if he is not likely
to follow the example of Mr. Pollen and the
St. Saviour's clergy. He will doubtless supply all
you find wanting in Herbert Graham, whom I
have considered as a good and earnest rather than
as a learned man, since his confession to me that
he could not himself answer a Romanist, but
knew that there were those who could. His
advice may be very good for most people, but for
those who have doubts, to tell them to believe
and not examine, is almost a confession of the
weakness of their cause. Nevertheless, I believe
that it is Rome which would not stand the test
of examination, and I do not understand what
you mean by saying that 'if Rome is wrong,
Anglicanism must be wrong also.' Explain this,
please, in your next.
" I have not read Newman's Anglican Difficul
ties, nor do I feel myself at all prepared to read it
yet, but I hope I shall some day.
" So you have already given up your resolution
of the five years' examination, as you say you do
not intend to renew it. I am sorry for this, and
more especially for the reason you assign for
this change of determination, i.e., the possibility
of conviction coming without much reading. I

Danger of a hurried Inquiry. 171
believe such a conviction would be nothing more
than the influence of the minds of others upon
yours, and that the only conviction we should be
right in acting upon would be that resulting from
long and patient study, which if pursued as a
search for truth must alone end in conviction.
This to a humble and religious mind would
always be accompanied by an internal evidence.
But if you fancy you have this beforehand, call it
conviction or what you like, how do you differ
at all from the hundred and one different sects,
who all believed they had it, and built their
systems upon it, disregarding all evidence, save
that which supported their own imaginations ?
" Of course our Papist friends will tell us to
profit by their experience, and urge upon us the
danger of delaying to submit to a system they
have to themselves proved true, without going
through the tedious task of examination for Our
selves, but this would be nothing more than
conceding to them their pretensions to infallibility
and acting under personal influence.
" I do not see that the fact you mention
regarding Trent raises it much in my estimation,
or improves its claim to be called a General
Council. Do you know exactly of what it was
composed ? If not, I will tell you in my next. I
wish I could have a long talk with you. . . . Now
I must say good-bye, wishing you a merry
Christmas, and that the New Year may indeed
bring with it blessings to you all."

172 A Colonial Bishop gives Advice.
The New Year found us paying a visit in a
country house full of young people, where we had
a gay and festive time. Milly was of the party.
In our more serious moments I had the solace
of telling her about our Irish visit, the books I
had read, and of all that was in my mind. She
was always sympathetic, even if she might not
agree. She could understand that to see the
comic element in grave matters was not neces
sarily to be un-serious and irreverent, so that I
was quite at my ease in her company. I knew
there was no fear of shocking her, as I did some
times shock Oswald, and even Ethel.
Our return to Clifton was followed by an
unpleasant time. The threatened visit of the
Colonial Bishop came off. I remember feeling
very low-spirited as I drove with him and mother
to Henbury Church. A conversation was going
on between them which would certainly lead to
tiresome restrictions in the future, and perhaps
to a cessation of intercourse with our Catholic
friends. The Bishop had no hesitation in depre
cating any line of conduct which savoured of
disloyalty to the Church of England. How could
he do otherwise ? How could he encourage any
inquiry into the claims of Rome ? Who were
we that we should not be satisfied with that
which satisfied wiser and better people ? Was
it not the height of presumption, a manifestation
of self-conceit, that we should take upon ourselves
to decide that we should be better elsewhere than

A real practical Difficulty. 173
in the Church of England, where Providence had
ordained that we should be born ? At first sight
the Bishop's view certainly seemed to have humi
lity to recommend it. On the other hand, to
accept and act upon his view made the practice
of humility difficult, if not impossible. Some
people may rest content not to trouble themselves
about doctrine at all. They hear one clergyman
preach a doctrine and another clergyman preach
the direct contradictory of that doctrine from the
same pulpit on the same day. They think, or
perhaps not thinking at all, they act as if they
thought both doctrines were equally in accordance
with the mind of God. To those who do really
reflect, such a view is not possible. They must
make a choice. They are compelled to sit in
judgment on their teachers. They must otherwise
be prepared to change their beliefs to suit the
parish in which they may find themselves. Conse
quently the position in which they are placed is
not conducive to the growth of humility. It is all
very well to say that this is an exaggerated state
ment of the case. It was a real practical difficulty
to me personally, and I have reason to know that
it is so still to many thoughtful Anglicans.
Poor Margaret Percival, in Miss Sewell's inter
esting but very provoking story, had difficulties
such as these. The arguments which her uncle,
the model clergyman, brings forward to solve her
difficulties, could hardly, in real life, be found
efficacious. The Papal Supremacy, he said truly,

1 74 Claims of the English Church.
was the one and only point to be determined, but
it could not be determined except by a person
of immense learning, a learning to which no
young woman could aspire. Margaret had no
right to have any doubts at all. The Church
of England had the Apostolic Succession, she
taught the Apostles' Creed, and she appealed to
Scripture. Dissenters appealed to Scripture, but
rejected both the Creed and Episcopacy. Rome
possessed both the Creed and Episcopacy, but
she forbade you to test her doctrines by Scripture.
In the Church of England alone was safety.
She possessed both the Apostolic Succession and
the Creed, and she required you to believe
nothing that was not contained in Scripture.
To doubt the word of the Church of England
was an act of the gravest disloyalty and pre
sumption. If her ministers taught contrary
doctrines, that was not her fault, but their fault.
Her children had their Bible and their Prayer
Book. The real teaching of their Church was
quite plain and it was not to be mistaken.
Miss Sewell's clergyman did not see that
acceptance of articles of faith on authority and
acceptance through our private judgment on
Scripture are incompatible. No one can receive
any doctrine on both motives at once, which is
what he asserts to be the prerogative of members
ofthe Church of England.
Why Anglicans felt so sure that all their own
doctrines are contained in Scripture and that

Scripture Evidence for Roman Doctrines. 175
those which they are pleased to call the Romish
corruptions are not therein contained, I never
could understand. No doctrine appeared to me
to be more plainly taught in Scripture than that
of the Supremacy of St. Peter, unless it be the
Catholic doctrines of the Holy Eucharist, and of
the place of Mary the Mother of God in the
Kingdom of her Divine Son. Yet these we were
told are corruptions and cannot be found in
Scripture. ' " What am I to do if I find them
there? May I not believe them?" I have asked.
I was told, " No, such a discovery can only be
made by one who has a perverse spirit, and
much self-conceit. Bull and Beveridge, Barrow
and Stillingfleet, never found such doctrines in
Scripture and therefore they cannot be there."
I did not mean to imply that my own or any
body's private interpretation of Scripture ought
to be a reason for believing a doctrine. It only
seemed to me that those who appeal so confidently
to Scripture should allow others an equal right to
do so.
But this is a digression. I must go back to
our friend, the Colonial Bishop. I fancy that
what he said was very much what Margaret
Percival's uncle said. Whatever he said had a
great effect upon my mother. She became for
the time being very Protestant. In this dis
position she was encouraged by the fuss which
the newspapers were making about the Madiai
case.

176 A Letter from Milly.
The Bishop was not wholly responsible for the
depression I experienced during that function at
Henbury. It proved to be partly physical and
to be accounted for by the imminence of a severe
attack of measles. This illness put a stop to
talking, reading, and all active occupation for
some time. How miserable I was both in mind
and body ! When I was at last well enough to
write, I poured forth my whole soul to Milly.
She appears to have thought the communication
very interesting. She sent the following reply :
" February, 1853.
" I feel overwhelmed : there is so much I want
to say and must say, come what will of this letter
as to age. As to length, I feel I could without
much difficulty, make it like the sermon of a
certain minister of the Kirk who had seven parts,
divided each into fifteen heads, each head with
about six improvements ; so many remarks could
I make on every point of your letter. Dearest,
I never had a letter from you which I loved so
much. How I longed to read it when it arrived,
just as I was rushing into the carriage to start for
church ! How virtuous I was and wouldn't read
it till after the service, lest I should be unable to
give heed to Mr. Robbins' exhortations, and oh I
how I did read and delight in it as I rumbled and
jolted home over ruts and stones, getting much
shaken, but struggling through my letter in spite
of all. ... I can't tell you the happiness and

Her Views. 177

comfort it is to me that you should write to me
as you do now about your thoughts and feelings.
I had been longing to know what you were about
mentally, by this time. How often I think of our
last New Year's eve and how we talked during
those few precious minutes while the rest were
dancing. I sometimes wish I were more like you,
more anxious and restless in my search after truth,
for I don't think I have ever troubled myself very
much about my belief, on important points at
least ; but perhaps it is better for me not to have
done so, for I don't think my mind is strong
enough to bear much, safely, in the way of
various arguments. This, however, I don't ascribe
to the weakness or badness of my belief, but to
my weakness and badness in it. I hope you
won't think I ought to question my belief in our
Church. I don't think you will, for I know, with
you, it is as you say that you cannot, not that you
will not be satisfied without inquiring. Oh ! how
earnestly I do long that you may be led into the
right way, wherever it is. I don't think you
would be angry at what I do ask for you, for
though, as you know, I can't help feeling sure —
as sure as we poor ignorant things can be — that
our Church has the right faith, and consequently
that in so far as others differ from her, they are,
so far, wrong, yet I never ask unconditionally,
that you may be kept in this branch of the Church
Catholic (though I do trust, oh! how earnestly,
that you may), but rather that to the truth,

178 Divisions.

wherever it is, you may be guided. One thing
I feel sure of, that even though we be to a degree
divided by these sad, sad barriers of discord and
schism, the separation can only to a great degree
be outward ; for there are things, the highest,
deepest of all, on which we are still one and shall
be ever I trust, whatever you may come to, my
own darling. And then at times I am tempted
to think that these divisions must be nothing
really, only shadows as it were, which confuse our
dim eyes and are not before the clear vision of
our one Lord, and that they are of importance
only so far as they are sinful in raising bitter
feelings in us, one towards another. And yet
I do not think I really believe this, I don't think
it can be true. There is so much said about the
Church and its reality and visibility, that it must
be important to what form we belong. There
must be right in one, and wrong in others. Yet
when we go to seek that one right one, there
seems to be so little to guide us, such conflicting
beliefs, such various evidence, good men all
teaching differently, and the Church— oh ! how
shall we be certain what is her voice and what
she says ? So at times I feel almost despairing,
and then the only thing is to turn to practice and
give up speculating. 'If any man will do His
will, he shall know of the doctrine.' But this
I don't think my darling's thoughtful, searching
mind will let her do, without inquiring also. It is
a trial appointed to some which is not given to

A nticipations. 179

others, to be unsatisfied and unable to rest till
they have inquired into the grounds of their
belief. Only, dearest, don't be anxious, don't
be in a hurry to leave us. Think of Dr. Pusey's
speech at the Union. (Do you remember it ?) Oh,
dear ! it would be a sad parting to me, though
my love seems to grow more and more as I think
of the chance of it even. I don't like to think
of its possibly occurring, though I should feel it
less than many others, such as Mama and Sybella
would. I wish I could talk to you. I hate only
writing about this. I can't say a bit what I feel,
and what I do say sounds not at all like what
I mean. . . . But perhaps you know what I feel
better than I can tell you. How I like to think
you believe I can sympathize with you !
" I wish I could read those sermons of Arch
deacon Wilberforce's On ihe New Birth. You
know that subject of Baptism is always a little
difficulty with me, and I never yet had a book
which entirely freed me from doubts, though
now I have but few. I could not bear the idea
of giving up High Church doctrines, of finding
them unwarranted. They are to me so full of
help and comfort. I should lose so very much by
having only the meagre faith which I can't help
feeling Low Churchmen have.
" I am beginning to like Lent better than I did,
now that I am fairly in the midst of it. And as
to abstinence, the daily consumption by me of
mutton chops and other luxuries excludes the verjr

1 80 Desire for Penance.
idea of such a thing, alas! We enjoyed Ash
Wednesday, inasmuch as we walked down to
Durnley in a snow-storm to the church there.
We had a very good service, done, I mean, con
amore, and a sermon on fasting. Surely it is only
sham Churchmen who talk of restoring the godly
discipline of penance without really wishing it.
I believe the true ones do wish it. J do. I wonder
if I should be bad enough to be excommunicated.
and go to church in a sheet ! Rather cold just
now, but I dare say such outward humiliations
would tend to make one feel more ashamed and
sorry, if done in a right spirit. Only I can't help
having doubts if such penances are according to
the spirit of the New Testament, or do not rather
pass away with Jewish rites. I wish I could
think otherwise, for I should so like their revival,
if I could but be persuaded that they are right. . .
"What you said about your dread of bodily
pain and weakness rather surprised me. I should
not have fancied you would have had it. I wish
I could feel about mental suffering as you do. It
is just this which I dread with an intense cowardly
fear. I have no noble sense of the greatness and
blessedness of such trials, as prolonged anxiety,
loss of friends, the daily suffering of the sorrows
or faults of others. Or rather though I do see
such suffering may be and is great and blessed,
if rightly borne, yet I would do anything to avoid
having to bear it. I shrink from the prospect of
such being one day my lot, and this makes me

Thoughts about Death. 181
long to be near death, to be pretty sure of dying
soon. I feel that would make me so happy. And yet
there are times when I feel, like you, the extreme
interest of life, its beauty and greatness ; but this
is more as connected with others (such as you
especially), than with my own part in it. I seem
myself to be so simply a clod of earth, and as
though my only chance of being anything better
were to get away altogether from eating, drinking,
and fussing about self.
" Your thoughts about death interested me. I
can't feel though that I should like at all a sudden
death, for several reasons. Were I given my
choice, I should choose that it should come very
gradually, that I might have plenty of time to
look at it, consider it, and prepare calmly for it.
It is something so wonderful. At times it seems
rather horrible and frightful, merely, I believe,
from dwelling only or chiefly on its mortal and
earthly effects ; or from seeing it represented in
a revolting and wicked way in books. But more
frequently, my ideas of it are rather beautiful,
though confused, and of course it is always awful.
I fancy that when quite close to it the more
earthly feelings will lose their sway, with the
gradual failing of the bodily powers ; that is one
reason why I want rather a slow dying, so that
I may have time to become gradually spiritual
before I lose all connection with body. It is
strange that, considering we are only living to die,
we should think so little generally of death, and

1 82 A blessed Death.
be so startled when it comes anyhow suddenly
before us, as if we had personally nothing in the
world to do with it, instead of its being ever
awaiting us silently, ' the shadow with the keys,'
such a real thing, although a shadow.
" I must now bring this long letter to a close,
but I must just tell you, that mama had a nice
letter from Mr. Somers the other day, in which
he said he had been having an argument with
you, and you seemed quite up in all the Roman
Catholic arguments. Of course you are ! Now
good-bye. "Your ever fond,
" Milly."
In reading this letter, well-nigh forty years after
it was written, I like to think how entirely Milly's
desires for death were realized. She had plenty
of time to look at it and prepare for its approach.
How gladly she welcomed it ! How patiently she
bore the pain and weariness of her long illness !
To her was given the grace to die within half an
hour of receiving the Holy Viaticum, on the
morning of that blessed day on which the Church
celebrates our Lord's Presentation in the Temple.
Truly might she say with holy Simeon, "Now
dost Thou dismiss Thy servant, O Lord, in peace.
For mine eyes have seen Thy salvation."
When in the February of 1853, she wrote her
fears and anxiety about me, and expressed a
dread of the barrier difference of religion might

Archdeacon Wilberforce's Writings. 18

j

possibly raise between us, how little did either of
us imagine that she was to be the first to find her
way into the One True Fold !
The sermons referred to by Milly in the pre
ceding letter, On the New Birth of Man's Nature,
I had found very instructive. Since I studied
Archdeacon Wilberforce's works, and thought
about all that the doctrine of the Incarnation
involved, the poverty of the Protestant system,
as it was ordinarily taught, came before me very
forcibly. Protestants dwelt on the doctrine of the
Atonement to the exclusion of every other doctrine.
The Death of our Lord as having effected our
redemption, was insisted on, as though nothing
remained for us to do. His Life as it is the
model for our imitation, the lessons to be learnt
from the Annunciation, the Nativity, the Pre
sentation, the Flight into Egypt, the Hidden Life
at Nazareth, were not put before us. There was
an incompleteness and a want of harmony, even
in the more advanced of the High Church writers,
which I did not find in Archdeacon Wilberforce.
He went deeper down, and taught us to regard
sacraments, not as arbitrary rites, but as "an
extension of the Incarnation," the means by
which we became partakers of the Divine Nature.
Jesus Christ did not take our flesh merely to die,
and through His Death to effect our redemption.
Our human nature was to be renewed and
sanctified. His Sacred Humanity was the prin-

184 The Sacramental System.
ciple by which this renewal and sanctification
was to be effected. The grace given through
sacraments is the means by which His Human
Nature acts on ours, and by which we are united
to Him. In the sermon on The Sacramental
System, Robert Wilberforce maintains, that to
deny the efficacy of Baptism is a virtual denial
of the Incarnation and of the necessity of the
mediation of Christ. Such a denial implies that
there exists a principle in human nature which is
capable of raising and purifying it, without the
necessity of supernatural assistance. Rationalism
supposes that the cultivation of the natural
powers and faculties of man will suffice for his
renovation, whereas the Church teaches that it
is through the introduction of a higher influence,
the union of the Divine with the Human in
the Person of Christ our Lord, that the race is
to be raised and ennobled. Each member of
the human race is bound to the Divine Head of
that race by the Holy Sacraments, and becomes
as truly a child of the Second Adam through
his new birth in Baptism, as he is a child of the
first Adam through his birth in the natural order.
I have thought that in Protestant countries like
England, it is the utter ignorance of these
relations of God with man, as manifested in the
sacramental system of the Church, which has
made many of the more intellectual and thinking
of the minds amongst us sceptics. The religion
which they reject is not in reality the religion

Argument from Analogy. 185
of Jesus Christ. It is something which has
usurped its place, a mass of incongruities and
falsehoods. Could they but have had the teaching
of the Catholic Church, such as it really is, put
before them in its harmony and coherence, they
would have seen its adaptation to all the needs
of the soul ; its capability of satisfying the highest,
as well as the lowest, of human intelligences.
They would have gladly recognized it as the truth
for which they had been craving.
" If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature."
How many unsatisfactory Low Church sermons
have I heard on that text ! Archdeacon Wilberforce
showed us that this renewal was not effected by
any mere feeling of our own, by any inward con
viction that we were " in Christ," as Mr. Robbins
taught, but by a real union with His Sacred
Humanity effected by the Sacrament of Baptism,
and preserved through the partaking of His Flesh
and Blood in the Holy Eucharist. If it were
objected that it was quite incredible that such
a change could .be brought about by Baptism,
Wilberforce answered that it was not more
wonderful than that certain mental qualities
should be transmitted from father to son in the
natural order. Again, as " that common nature
which we inherit from our original parent is
transmitted through the continuity of the flesh,
it was not inconsistent with the order of the
Divine economy, that our Lord's Flesh and Blood
mysteriously and supernaturally communicated,

1 86 Dr. Arnold on English Divines.
should be the principle of a higher life to His
brethren."1 I think Mr. Woodford told us he considered
Robert Isaac Wilberforce the greatest theologian
the Church of England possessed. His, were
great works.
Speaking of the English divines in general,
Dr. Arnold asked, "Why is it that there are so
few great works on theology, compared with any
other subject ? Is it that all other books on the
subject appear insignificant by the side of the
Scriptures? There appears to me in all the
English divines a want of believing or disbelieving
anything because it is true or false. It is a
question which does not seem to occur to them."
This at all events could not be said of Archdeacon
Wilberforce. In this sweeping condemnation of English
divines, Dr. Arnold excepted Butler (the one
amongst them whose writings I much studied)
and Hooker. The latter was however a puzzle
to him. " I long to see something," he writes,
"which should solve what is to me the great
problem of Hooker's mind. He is the only man
that I know, who, holding with his whole mind
and soul the idea ofthe eternal distinction between
moral and positive laws, holds with it the love
for a priestly and ceremonial religion, such as
appears in the Fifth Book " (of the Ecclesiastical
Polity). After thus excepting Hooker and Butler,
1 Doctrine of the Holy Eucharist, p. ioo.

His Estimate of Jeremy Taylor. 187
Dr. Arnold goes on to say of the English divines,
" Their language is delightful to my taste, but I
cannot find in any one of them a really great man.
I admire Taylor's genius, but yet how little was
he capable of handling worthily any great question.
And as to interpreters of Scripture, I never yet
found one of them who was above mediocrity. I
cannot call it a learning worth anything, to be very
familiar with writers of this stamp, when they
have no facts to communicate, for of course even
an ordinary man may then be worth reading."
These opinions of Dr. Arnold's I wrote out in
one of my juvenile note-books and added at the
same time the following reflections of my own.
" I can understand the dislike and contempt with
which Dr. Arnold regards High Church principles,
and if, as it seems to me, he takes an erroneous
view of the real tendency of those principles, may
it not have been more the fault of those who
advocated them than his own? His objection
to the sacramental system is, that it places the
Church in Christ's office as Mediator between
God and man, and puts outward rites in place of
the one Sacrifice once offered.
"Now I find that Archdeacon Wilberforce
raises a somewhat similar objection to Dr. Arnold's
own views. The Anti-Sacramental system, Wilber
force says, substitutes for the work of Christ the
actions of the individual mind. Proclaiming that
our redemption from sin has been effected by the
Death of Christ, it leaves with the individual the

1 88 The Anti- Sacramental System.
power of appropriating to himself the benefits of
that redemption. Its tendency is to overlook the
present mediation of Christ and to forget that
the gifts of grace are bestowed through the com
munication of His Human Nature in the means
which He has appointed. It treats the Sacra
ments lightly because it fails to recognize their
real character. Thus Baptism and Holy Com
munion are represented as forms to which the
disposition of the receiver can alone give value :
not, the one as the way by which we become
partakers of the Divine Nature by being engrafted
into the Body of Christ, so that it may be called .
a new Birth — the nature of the Second Adam
becoming ours as truly as by our natural birth
the nature of the First Adam was transmitted to
us : nor, the other (the Blessed Eucharist) as the
nourishment of this new nature, the means by
which that Body which was slain and that Blood
which was shed for us should become indeed our
food. The real objection to this estimate of the
Sacraments arises from a forgetfulness that Christ
being the ' One Mediator between God and man '
Who unites these two natures, ' must be approached
through that Manhood whereby He allies Himself
to our race,' and from a wish 'for such com
muning with the Spirit of the Universe as may
be maintained by each individual in the separate
temple of the heart.' Not that there is any
conscious design of rejecting Christ. He is
present to the thoughts, and no doubt in this

Nature and Grace. 189
way is supposed to be the means of access to the
Father. 'But this is to forget,' Archdeacon
Wilberforce declares, 'that the principle of His
mediation is not that His Man's nature is the
ultimate object of worship, but that it is the sole
road of approach to His Godhead. And when
the Church system is opposed to that of Ration
alism, the actions of His Manhood are in reality
opposed to those of our own spirits. The channel
of union which has been provided through grace
is opposed to that which existed by nature. What
is needed, therefore, is some real agency on His
part whereby this merciful intervention may be
effected. Adam is not merely an object to men's
thoughts like the angels of God : he is bound to
his descendants by the true but unknown tie of
paternity : if Christ our Mediator be the Second
Adam, there must be as real an influence, by
which all His members must hold to His Man's
nature. And if this union is not brought about
as Rationalists suppose, through those means
which had their existence through Creation, it
must be effected through media which are beside
and foreign to nature. That spiritual power
whereby His Humanity becomes the seminal
principle of His Body mystical, must act through
such supernatural agency as it pleases Him to
adopt. So that the ancient writers, as Bishop
Taylor says, speak of the Blessed Sacrament as
the extension of the Incarnation. . . . Therefore,
to maintain that the outward means of grace

190 The One Mediator.
whereby we are united to the Manhood of Christ,
are not less necessary than those emotions of our
own which have their seat within, is not to put
the Church in the stead of Christ, but to protest
against men's putting themselves in the place of
their Redeemer. To speak of inward seriousness
as necessary, is only to testify the truth of each
man's separate responsibility ; but to speak of it
as superseding outward means, is to do away
with the office ofthe One Mediator.'1
" Surely if these principles were rightly under
stood, there would no longer exist the same preju
dice against the sacramental system in the minds
of thoughtful and earnest men. But that system is
regarded by too many as something which super
sedes and overlooks the mediation of the Second
Person of the Blessed Trinity, and not as the
system which He Himself instituted in order
that men might become partakers of the Divine
Nature. Those who have believed in it and acted
on their belief know how untrue is the idea that it
must draw away their thoughts from Jesus Christ.
They feel that without this sacramental union
the passages in the New Testament which speak
of Christ dwelling in them and they in Him,
would have no meaning for them, that they, would
lose the one great proof of His love to them indi
vidually. His presence would be no longer a
conscious reality, Himself no more their strength,
their support, their life.
1 Wilberforce, On the Doctrine of the Incarnation.

The Effect of Sacraments. 191
" Yet I am not surprised that those to whom
these doctrines are a novelty should experience
great difficulty in comprehending them, and should
denounce them as unscriptural. Their language
teaches me how entirely we may misjudge the
opinions of others, and how very much we should
guard against prejudice and a one-sided view.
That there are difficulties in the sacramental
system few know better than myself. It seems
also to involve consequences which I hesitate to
admit. Undoubtedly it confers responsibilities
from which all who are not really in earnest must
shrink. " It has been well remarked that the belief in
Sacraments as conveying supernatural gifts tends
to turn men's minds so completely to their
Almighty Author, that in times of doubt they
afford a stable comfort without in times of stead
fastness ministering to pride. ' Their advantage
in time of doubt is, that their ground is God's
promise, and not man's confidence : so that they
supply some fixed external standing-place in
those hours of dejection, when men's own feelings
are in most need of succour. In such seasons
comfort must come from without, for how are
inward doubts to be solved by the mind, whose
very complaint is doubtfulness? In such moments,
then, how inestimable that gift, whereby our God
assures us of His favour and goodness towards
us!'"' This somewhat lengthy extract from my note-

192 How to read with Profit.
book shows something of what I learnt from
R. Wilberforce's works On the Incarnation and
On the New Birth of Man's Nature. His treatise
On the Holy Eucharist, which appeared in 1853,
taught me a good deal more.
I shall always feel grateful to Oswald for
having encouraged us to study these books. He
said that Robert Isaac Wilberforce had done as
much as any single man could do. He had put
the whole controversy on the deepest grounds.
Those who really grasped his argument, must,
Oswald thought, agree with him.
I made notes in my diary this summer, of
counsels given to us by Oswald with regard to our
reading. He was very urgent that we should study
some standard author such as Butler, and put
into our own language the principles which we
had learned from him. We were to give our
whole attention to what we read, and to make
notes if possible, otherwise our reading would
leave little more than an impression. If we read
in this way for a certain time every day, the list-
lessness and frivolity to which we were so much
inclined would be kept in check, and we should
be doing something to prevent our minds from
sinking to the level commonly found in the
world !
I think we profited by these wise counsels, and
made it a rule to do some serious reading every
day. Under the head of "serious reading" could

Mr. Kingsley' s Novels. 193
hardly be placed the novels of Charles Kingsley.
These novels were making a sensation at that
time, and they possessed a great fascination for
us. Alton Locke had been published some years
before. It is associated in my mind with pleasant
evenings at Bath, when Mr. Burton read it aloud
to us. Yeast we delighted in still more, but
Hypatia was the one which interested me by far
the most. In looking through it now I am at a
loss to see how I could ever have tolerated this
book. I not only tolerated, but was intensely
absorbed in it. We began the reading of it aloud,
but my mother did not think it was a book we
ought to read. We put it aside, and did not go
on with it till we went to stay with my aunt.
She insisted on our reading Hypatia. She was
very enthusiastic about Mr. Kingsley's writings,
in spite of his not being quite "orthodox."
There was a freshness and an originality about
them which appealed to a mind like hers — a
mind which retained the characteristics of youth
long after the season of youth had passed. Her
interest in Philammon and Hypatia, in Synesius
and Raphael Aben Ezra was as intense as if they
had been living persons of the present time.
In fancy she was dwelling in the Alexandria of
St. Cyril's day, and taking part in its theological
and philosophical discussions. As matter of fact
she was inhabiting a quiet country home in the
England of the nineteenth century, where her
occupations consisted of expounding Scripture
N

1 94 Hypatia.
at the parish school, and carrying cans of broken
meat and pudding to the poor of Lystone.
Hypatia is much associated in my mind with
walks through this village. I used to read it on
my way when my aunt deputed me to take her
place in giving religious instruction to the school
children, and in visiting for the same purpose the
old or infirm. It was hardly the best preparation
for such work — work for which I felt myself most
unfitted. It was, however, useless to be humble
and plead inefficiency. My aunt insisted on our
expounding as she did. Olivia utterly refused to-
do so, and took with her Jowett's Christian Visitor
or Barnes's Notes on these occasions. It was
rather hard, when I was feeling much bewildered
by Kingsley's perplexing theology to be ordered
to spend half an hour in explaining Christian
doctrine to old William Brown. On one occasion
Mrs. Wrangham informed me that she was going
through the Creed with this worthy man, and I
was to continue the explanation of it from where
she had left off. I was obliged to represent that
till I myself had clearer ideas with regard to the
meaning of the words, " I believe in the Holy
Catholic Church," it would be quite hopeless for
me to undertake to enlighten the aged Mr. Brown!
I had come to the chapter where Raphael
Aben Ezra exclaims, " I am sick of syllogisms,
and probabilities, and pros and contras. What clo
I care if, on weighing both sides, the nineteen
pounds' weight of questionable arguments against,

Mr. Kingsley's Influence. 195
are overbalanced by the twenty pounds' weight
of equally questionable arguments for ? Do you
not see that my belief of the victorious proposi
tion will be proportioned to the one overbalancing
pound only, while the whole other nineteen will
go for nothing? . . . No, I want a faith past
arguments : one which, whether I can prove it
or not to the satisfaction of the lawyers, I believe
to my own satisfaction, and act on it as undoubt-
ingly and unreasoningly as I do upon my own
personal identity. I don't want to possess a
faith. I want a faith which will possess me."
A faith past arguments — a conviction that could
not be shaken — a certainty that had for its
warrant the word of One Who cannot deceive
or be deceived — this was what I too was longing
for — the faith of the great Saint and Doctor of
the Church, Augustine, from whom eventually
Aben Ezra is represented as receiving the grace
of Holy Baptism. I did not want the modern
imitation of that faith which is portrayed by the
Rector of Eversley.
As I said before, it is difficult for me now to
comprehend the attraction which Mr. Kingsley's
works certainly had for us. It was an attraction
felt by many. His biography shows that he
exercised an immense influence over a vast
number of minds. He despised conventionalities.
He hated what he considered shams. He was
thoroughly in earnest according to his lights, and
I do not think he ever had a suspicion that

196 Visit to Oxford.
Catholicism could be the religion by which
Almighty God willed that the souls of English
men and women should be saved, although he
seems to allow that for Italians it might be a
Divine institution.

During our visit to Lystone this June we went
to the Commemoration at Oxford and saw that
city for the first time. It fascinated me much.
It was unlike any place I had ever seen, and
possessed something of the charm which attaches
to the old cities of Italy. And there were the
associations of our own times which made it
dear to me. Here Newman had lived. Here
was the church where he had preached his won
derful sermons. Here those Tracts were written
which were still influencing so many minds. The
Oxford Tracts and the Oxford Movement be
longed in 1853 to the immediate past only.
I wrote my impressions to Ethel, who was
paying a visit in the west of Scotland. She in
return sends me her experiences of that country
and of the religion by law established there.
"June 17, 1853.
" You do not know how much I enjoyed your
long letter up here in the wilds. What a delight
ful time you must have had at Oxford ! I am
very glad you met Oswald there. Here we have
plenty of ' creature comforts,' i.e., fresh air and.

A Presbyterian Church. 197
scenery, to enjoy, but as yet we have not seen a
person to speak to, not even the ' minister,'
who we thought of course would call on his
parishioners without delay. I suppose he is
afraid of an attack from ' the champion,' whose
fame has doubtless reached him.
" I send you a sketch of the view we have from
our drawing-room window. The fearful specimen
of ecclesiastical architecture that figures in the
foreground is the Presbyterian Church, which
is within a few yards of us. There is another
within a quarter of a mile — a Free Church. Where
the congregations come from I cannot imagine,
as we have not hitherto been able to discover a
village anywhere, unless three very small cottages
can be dignified with the name. We are told
that when the congregation is very small the
minister, instead of a sermon, makes a short
address to those who are absent, saying -how sorry
he is not to see more at church, and how much
he hopes it will not be the case next Sunday, &c,
and dismisses those who are there without any
comment. Singing they have when there are
any singers, and at other times he reads what
ought to be sung. The great disadvantage of this
place is being so far from an Episcopal Church.
There is a clergyman at Oban who has service in
a room above a grocer's shop, but that is eight
miles off, and I do not expect ever to be able to
get there on Sunday. Last Sunday we were in
Oban, so we attended it, and the Sunday before

198 Ethel's Journey to Scotland.
we were at Ardrishaig, where there is a perfect
little church attached to the Bishop of Argyle's
house, and the service is beautifully per
formed. "I ought to tell you something about our
journey here. You know York, I think, so I need
not expatiate on the beauty of the Minster ; it
fully came up to my expectations. From York
we went to Edinburgh, which I liked immensely ;
there is so much to interest one in the buildings
and antiquities. Roslin is delightful, and Holy-
rood, though it makes one very melancholy tracing
the scenes of poor Mary's misfortunes. From
Oban we went to Dunstaffnage, where the early
Scottish kings found their last earthly resting-
places, I believe, before Iona was made the royal
burial-place. We have still in view a visit to Iona
and Staffa, which will be the most interesting of
all, and then I am afraid we shall have seen all
the lions of the neighbourhood.
"We are within .ten minutes' walk of a loch,
and are surrounded by hills. What I do not
fancy is being so completely cut off from all
society, as I anticipate we shall be all the
summer. K  and L  rather rejoice in it,
as he is quite happy with his fishing, and she
with looking after domestic arrangements, but
these, you will agree, are very unproductive
sources from which to draw ideas."
Ten days later Ethel writes again :

The Ancient Mariner. 199
"June 27, 1853.
" Your letter was most acceptable and amusing
— a great relief to a very dismal Sunday evening,
for the letters here always arrive in the evenings.
" I am sorry I cannot furnish you with a copy
of your interpretation of the Ancient Mariner, the
valuable manuscript being carefully locked up at
my home. I dare say you recollect that the hero
was N  , who with his ' cross-bow,' i.e., ' private
judgment,' shot the albatross, i.e., 'destroyed faith,'
and the explanation you gave of the terrible
consequences which followed to him and his
shipmates when they justified the act,
'Twas right, said they, such birds to slay,
That bring the fog and mist,
and that it ended in N — : — being safely landed on
the shores of Rome. It might have been rather
wicked but not worse, I think, than many things
you say and write !
" You do not seem to have a very correct idea
of the Presbyterian Church when you associate it
with Anglican forms, to which I am quite as much
attached as ever. I will just give you- an account
of last Sunday, and I am sure you will not accuse
me of attending Presbyterian meetings from any
liking to them. They do not occur at any of our
church hours, and we hold our own service first,
merely attending these because we were told
that we should be considered heathens if not seen
at church, so we thought it might be setting a

200 Ethel's Description of a
bad example if we absented ourselves. At twelve
o'clock the bell rings for about a minute, and the
Gaelic congregation previously assembled about
the church go in.
" Before the service began the minister came
out twice and looked round to see if any more
were coming, and when satisfied with the number
commenced. Of course we did not attend that
service. About half-past one the bell gives a few
more tingles, when the Gaelic audience are ex
pected to depart and the English to come in.
Not being prepared for so very short a summons,
I missed the first Psalm, and when I went in all
the congregation were standing, the minister
holding forth what I, at first, thought was only
an exhortation, but afterwards found was a
prayer, which lasted about a quarter of an hour.
He then invited us to a meditation on the first
Psalm (which was the sermon), and it lasted
about half an hour ; at the end he told us he had
" got no more.' Then followed another long ex
tempore prayer, all the people standing as before,
which concluded with the Lord's Prayer. Then
they sat down, and the minister proposed to sing
a 'paraphrase,' which he read all through, and
gave an imploring look at us, as if to say, ' Do pray
sing,' and he sat down. An exceedingly melan
choly man, who had been heard to sigh deeply
several times, got up, and with a very weak,
cracked voice sang nearly through the first two
verses before any one supported him at all. It

Presbyterian Service. 201
was quite impossible for us to take the minister's
hint, as we neither had the words or knew the
tune, and it was extremely difficult to look grave
during the performance. After this we were dis
missed, and I certainly never wish again to attend
such a meeting. It is lamentable to see to what
a length the spirit of opposition has carried these
people, and even more lamentable to think that
such is the Church of the land established by an
English sovereign. I miss an English church
more than anything here, and never can look
forward to a Sunday with pleasure." "July 9, 1853.
" We have been in Scotland now six weeks
without having any society whatever. Can you
fancy that state of things ? I sometimes feel very
much inclined to envy you, meeting so many
interesting people, for you generally have a hero
in every letter. They never come across my path.
I quite agree in Mr. B  's view ; it always
seems to me impossible for any but Papists to
find out that the Church ever had better days, or
days so good as the present, a conclusion which
has been much confirmed since the perusal of
Socrates' Ecclesiastical History, for one is naturally
willing to believe that the early ages must have
been the most perfect, and it does not appear that
Christians were at all more united in his days
than they are at present, and that there was even
a remnant left seems little less than a miracle.

202 Extracts from Diary.
" What are you, Minima ? You don't approve
of High Church or sound men. I suppose you are
not quite a Latitudinarian, are you ? "
. No, I was not a Latitudinarian, not at least
by conviction, however much the worst part of
me may have been attracted in that direction.
Perhaps Ethel's question as to what I was
might have been answered in Tennyson's words :
An infant crying in the night,
An infant crying for the light.
From a little diary I wrote at intervals this
summer, the following extracts are taken, written
at Lystone, where we were seeing a good deal of
Mr. Dean :
"June, 1853.- — We had a long conversation
with Mr. Dean, discussing our difficulties, but
arriving at no conclusion. A talk with him on
religion generally makes me very unhappy,
although I feel certain he will understand and
sympathize in the perplexities which distract me.
This can't be said of most of the people with
whom I associate. Inclination leads him to
remain where he is, reason indicates a different
course. He says he has long ago left off trusting
to reason in these matters ! Perhaps he talks
on these subjects in a light manner. I know he
does not feel lightly. I wonder if he will ever be
a Catholic. He will never be settled till he is a

The Papal Supremacy. 20^

Catholic — of that I am sure. At present he
doubts whether the Papal Supremacy can be
proved historically, and whether to accept it you
must not admit the theory of development.
" Mr. Allies, Mr. Dean says, is one of the
closest arguers of the day, and in his last work
he has brought together all the Scripture proofs
for the Supremacy and has arranged and com
mented on them so as to leave no doubt to any
impartial person that the Supremacy is clearly
contained in Scripture. But if this is the case,
why does it appear to have been imperfectly
apprehended by those who lived with the
Apostles ? Why are there passages in their
writings which seem to contradict the idea ?
These are difficulties : that there are some
and perhaps more difficulties if we reject the
Supremacy is also true, but these must be
examined lest we should receive as Divine that
which is only human.-
" My difficulty is that I cannot reconcile the
Catholic doctrines and principles I have believed
for so long, with those ofthe Church of England.
I must either abandon them (which I can't do) or
carry them to their legitimate conclusion, or con
tinue to hold them without being faithful to them.
None of these three courses is agreeable to me :
I won't be in a hurry about deciding which to
pursue. I only hope I am not running the risk
of becoming indifferent or getting into an unreal
state of mind.

204 Light in Darkness.
" The Roman Catholic religion is much more
suited to my spiritual wants than is the Anglican,
and that seems an argument for its truth. When
the conviction that Catholicism was true first
took possession of my mind, it appeared like
a bright light illuminating the darkness. I
welcomed it as the satisfaction for which my
soul was craving. Catholicism seemed so
harmonious, such a contrast to the discordant
doctrines that we were in the habit of hearing.
It was unlike any other system of religion.
Apparent contradictions, when more closely ex
amined, vanished. Intellectual difficulties which
had perplexed me for a time were removed. Hardly
a doubt was left in my mind that Catholicism
was God's revelation to man. Catholicism was
the inheritance of which we had been deprived.
Why should I hesitate to embrace it ? Would
not one strong effort of the will put me in
possession of the truth, and silence doubt for
ever? May God forgive me if I was wrong in
hesitating, and if unworthy motives were the
cause of my hesitation. I do not think they
were. I might well distrust my own judgment.
I was so inexperienced and so imperfectly in
formed. Was it not right to test the strength
of these convictions before acting on them ?
"Several months passed. My perplexity did
not lessen. I could not pretend to take an
interest in English Church matters. Discussions
on these subjects appeared to me very tedious

Conflicting Attractions. 205
and dreary. I felt less good, less in earnest than
I had been. The dreadful idea that I might be
trifling with grace pursued me. This state of
things is still going on. How long is it to con
tinue ? "
Various good resolutions followed. I write
that Clifton seemed flat and dreary when we
returned there that July. Mr. Woodford preached
on the feast of St. James, taking for his text those
words of the two Apostles, " We are able." I
applied to myself the concluding words of his
discourse — "A strong will and a sure confidence,
these will lead you through the dark waters to
the haven where you would be." That haven to
me was Rome. Yet I wrote in my diary shortly
afterwards : " I don't know whether the certainty
that the Roman Church is true would bring me
greater happiness or misery. There is the
impossibility almost of acting against my rela
tions, the fear of ridicule and contempt, the great
submission of will required if I join the Church,
on one side. On the other there is the peace and
rest which those who do submit to the Church
never fail to obtain, the joy of obedience to God's
will, the help and guidance afforded to the soul
in its battle with the world, the flesh, and the
devil, and in one word the sacraments of Jesus
Christ." The following letter may find its place here,
from Mr. Aubrey de Vere to my mother.

206 Indications of Character derived
"25, Chapel Street, Grosvenor Square,
" August 2, 1853.
" It seems to me ever so long since I have
heard from you or of you, and I want very much
to know how you are all getting on : so pray open
that writing-desk in my favour at which you used
sometimes to sit so indefatigably at Currah,
writing to wicked people who wanted you to run
away from the infected house, and tell me a little
about your proceedings of late. Have you been
well and strong, or have you been weak and
suffering from this changeable weather that never
is the same for two days together ? You see when
the outward elements blow hot and cold, what
inconveniences result ! Now you can easily draw
an inference as to certain inner elements, and so
learn to ' be good.' I did not think your last
letter sounded good at all ; on the contrary, I
thought I could trace in it all sorts of alarms,
the inspirations doubtless of provincial Popes. It
is not, however, any of your dear Popes that I
am afraid of so much as something in yourself.
I have made a discovery about you. Did you
ever observe that we sometimes discover some
thing about a friend's character by observing
hpw, in a dream, we have made him act, and
accordingly what qualities our half-instinctive
knowledge of his character has made us attri
bute to. 'him while our active faculties were
exerting themselves with all the impartiality of
unconsciousness ? Well, in the same way we get

from little trivial Incidents. 207
indications of character by observing what are
the little trivial incidents or sayings which we
recollect most often in connection with our
friends, and then analyzing these so as to find
out what they indicate. Now, I find I have been
often remembering one little incident which you
mentioned to me, viz., that you were so fond of
the place in which you had passed your child
hood that, when it passed into other hands, you
used constantly to drive to ihe gate, look in, let
your fancy be wafted along with the linden odours
through remembered bowers, allow your affections
to rest a while under the green shadows of the old
beeches, and then . . . drive away ! Why not
drive in ? Why not plant your foot amid old
mosses ? Why not touch the stems graven with
old names ? Why not enter the dusky aisles
of the woods and breathe the air which the
violet only, and the spirits of the past, had
breathed before you ? Why not let the old
meadows have you again for an hour and the
woodbines/ detain you? Is it not that you are
too easily satisfied — a phantom satisfied with
phantoms, and a shadow to whom shadows are
substances ?. Now, do not be a phantom or a
shadow. Do not drive to the gate of Paradise,
or be contented with looking in at the entrance
to a heavenly home — the home of a Heavenly
Father. There is no rude porter there at the
gate to drive you back, or to think you linger
long. It is yours by Baptism, though, like so

208 Warnings against Sophisms.
many of us, you were stolen from it in childhood.
In returning to it you but return to old loves and
old laws, and the old and holy allegiance, and the
first fidelity of regenerate souls
Though spoused yet wanting wedlocks solemnize.
" Of all the wretched sophisms by which those
who would fain follow the Truth, ' whithersoever
He goeth,' are perplexed ; of all the voices
muttering in our ear which tempt us to turn our
head and look back while mounting the hill of
wisdom (cloistered with God in the firmamental
region of light and love and endless peace), there
is none more obviously idle and evasive than that
which frightens back so many, ' keep to the
Church of your Baptism.' There are no local
Baptisms into local Churches. There is but one
Church, and a whisper or a sigh is heard at once
in all regions of its infinitude. So there is but
one Baptism, through which we were originally
consigned to the one Church. The font is the
pellucid and peaceful bosom of the one Virgin
Mother of souls. Whatever or wherever the
true Church may be, to her the Baptism belongs ;
and in returning to, or abiding with her, one
returns to or abides with one's Baptism. We
Gannot be unfaithful while we go to the Truth;
for the Truth is the first of all things, and to Him
our first allegiance was plighted. Truth is
eternal and immutable, the beginning and the
end. Consequently in Truth, and therefore iii

Dangerous Tendencies. 209
the true Church, our past as well as our future,
our fidelity as well as our hope, must be involved.
"Now, are you not inwardly saying, 'What
are you driving at ? ' I will tell you. First, you
are easily contented with imaginary things fairly
adumbrated, things

Hanging like a picture fair
In the rich and shadowy air,

and so I am uttering my Protest (may I not too
be a Protestant ?) against phantoms, and making
my Confession that Religion is Substance and
Reality, or nothing ; for Poetry, not Religion, is
the world of thoughts, visions, aspirations unem-
bodied, and unfulfilled loves.
"Secondly, you are a lover of the Past. In
your shadowy land Reality comes more near to
you through the Imagination and the Memory,
than through the Senses. In cold weather it is
the far horizon, where heaven seems to meet
earth, that is seductive, not the flowerless fore
ground, or the cold spring beds whose buds look
as if there was not heart enough in them to make
them flowers. Now, you too have something of
this chilliness and timidity about you, and while
your fancy plays with present things, it is in the
past that you seem to yourself to find your safest
asylum. This circumstance exposes you especially
to one particular danger, that, namely, proceeding
from the sophism ' old times,' ' allegiance,' ' loyalty,'
'Church of your Baptism,' ' unfilial,' &c, through

210 " The Church of our Baptism."
which so many orphaned souls are deprived for
ever of their Mother, and kept in ward to Tutors,
Guardians, the Lord Chancellor, or mere self-
elected Guides, blind leaders of the blind, and
through which the mighty Mother is deprived of
souls who would have been the most lamb-like
in her fold, who would have crept nearest to her
side for warmth, and who are least able to find
their way alone over the snowy and nocturnal
wolds. And so I have told you that your real
and earliest Past belongs to the' Church, and in
returning to her there is nothing which you will
feel more strongly than that you have returned to
the ' Church of your Baptism.' It is with the
individual as with nations. Protestantism is the
heady Hobbledehoyhood of communities that
have lost the former and not reached the latter..
Nationalism must end like a school-boy's 'barring
out.' But as we must, as individuals, end first,
let us not Wait till the turbid stream runs by.
" I heard such a beautiful sermon yesterday
from Manning. He has been staying out' of
town for a few days ; but his home in town
is this house (Mr. MonseU's), which is mine
also. " Have you got the Hours of S arum, published
by Mr. Chambers? I have'been reading a
number of your Puseyite books lately — one little
one called Rosaries, Palmer's Dissertations on th
Orthodox (Eastern) Communion. An odd book
called The Counter Theory, tossed into the wind

High Church Books. 2 1 1
as a counter-attraction to Newman's great book
On Development, and (last and best) Archdeacon
Wilberforce's admirable book On ihe Holy
Eucharist. It is said to be the best book ever
put forward in the Church of England, and I
should think it probably is the best book on that
great subject. Great indeed may a subject be
called which involves not only so great a Doctrine,
but as you may say, the whole Worship of Christi
anity. It is immensely learned, and though deep,
not difficult, except in a short part ; and the
views that it discloses ought to be to many as a
new world from which the veil had been removed.
Yet any one may soon see that the whole of this
sublime doctrine was really involved in that of
the Incarnation, and that whoever really held
the latter ought to have held the former also.
Pray lose no time in reading it if you have not
done so already, and tell me what you think of it.
I should like to know what Oswald Middleton
thinks of it also. Is he married yet? . . .
How lovely Clifton must be looking now — that
is the downs' and river's 'wooded walls.' Do
you take walks and do ' the children ' go out
sketching ?
"Do you ever think of Currah? This year
you must see it in its summer or autumn dress,
not in its bleak and dreary undress. Yet even in
its grey ascetic garb you could see beauty in it.
How well I remember our pleasant evening walks
to the rock, and all our readings and fifty things

212 A Scolding.

beside. Do pray write to me at once. With
much love to ' the children.'
" Ever most truly yours,
"Aubrey de Vere."
To the same month belongs another letter from
the same writer to Olivia.
" East Sheen Lodge, August 29, 1853.
"This book was to have been taken with the
little Puseyite volume of Rosaries which I sent
your mother this morning, but it arrived too late
to share the honour of being taken in charge by
such a bearer. Pray make up to it for the loss
it has sustained by reading it and liking it. It is
full (if I may venture to judge) of passages worthy
of being remembered.
" I was delighted to see your handwriting again,
but, O Sophist ! what am I to say to you ? You
are growing what you used to call " Sir James
Stephenish," I almost fear ; for contradictions in
terms you cannot swallow, and you have not
faith enough to trust that Divine element of
certain truth, strong as the sea, though like the
sea capable of frowning as well as smiling, over
which the Mystic Ark alone can float. Well, I
must not scold you. One should only pray for
one's friends that they may have the same
merciful opportunities which were so often
accorded to us, and may have grace to use all the
grace given.

The Counter Theory. 213
" You will soon, I hope, see one whom you have
all often wished to see. You must write and tell
me how you have liked him. I am so really
grieved at not having seen you. Had I known
in time that you were leaving Clifton so soon,
I would certainly have gone to see you. What
pleasant walks and rambles we should have had,
and what disputes.
" And so Oswald is married! And is he a
clergyman too ? Some wicked people would say
that the only safe hands into which a young
clergyman can be placed in these dangerous times
are those that belong to  but you shall finish
for yourself, lest it might turn out a scandal added
to the thousand and one. I could say a good
deal about the Counter Theory which you name,
but I should weary you. It belongs to the region,
not of argument, but of Evasion. The author
does not sit down to the problem like a man, but
plays with it as Spanish ladies play with their
fans. " I am delighted with All Saints (the new
church in Margaret Street). It is very fair among
the fair shadows.
" Good-bye and God bless you both, my dear
little friends, and God bless your sweet mother
too. But do not say ' I am very far from being
good.' The near may be far ; then why should
not the far be near. " Affectionately yours,
"Aubrey de Vere."

214 Interviews with Mr. Manning.
The " bearer of the little volume on Rosaries,''
"the one whom you have all often wished to
see," mentioned in the preceding letter was
Mr. Manning, who came to Clifton this August
for a day or two, on a visit to Lord and Lady
Charles Thynne. He was already a Catholic
priest. We had two interviews with him. Mother
said she considered it right that we should hear
what he has to say. This however was to be said
to us three collectively. We were not to see him
privately, and it was taken for granted that we
were not to be influenced by him in any way.
It was embarrassing to be put as it were upon
one's honour to disregard his arguments however
convincing they might . be. On those terms I
would rather have declined seeing him, only it
seemed possible that as mother had always had
such a reverence for him, he might be able to
effect a real change in her views. His arguments,.
however, had no effect on her.
In my diary I note that the first day we saw
Mr. Manning he talked about the Supremacy.
With regard to the opposition to it in the early
ages of the Church, he said that this very
opposition was a proof of its existence. The
claim of the Roman Pontiff would never have
been disputed, had it not been asserted, and
as a matter of fact it was only disputed by
heretics. The next day he made an earnest appeal to our
consciences. I know that my mother in her

Effect of these Interviews. 215
conscience could not accept doctrines which she
had always regarded as unscriptural. Therefore
this appeal did not touch her. It was different
with me, and Mr. Manning probably saw this.
He said that no man could deliver his brother nor
make agreement unto God for him. In God's
sight we were all equal. Each of us would have
to answer for her own soul. He told us very
distinctly that there was no safety for our souls
outside the Church of Rome, and urged us to join
it at once. " I go away to-morrow," he said,
"but there is time first to see you all safe in the
One Fold." Olivia and I did not know what to
do. In the position in which we were, refuge in
the One Fold did not seem a possibility. We
were on the eve of starting to pay a round of
visits to various country houses. Plans for many
weeks to come would be upset, if it were
known that we had renounced Protestantism.
Thoroughly uncomfortable and miserable as we
were, we had to content ourselves with determin
ing that nothing could be done till we returned to
Clifton. When that time should come we must
and would make up our minds to act as our
consciences dictated.
Mr. Manning said he should not despair of us.
There was one way of obtaining the grace of
conversion which he had never known to fail. He
should remember us in the Holy Sacrifice of the
Mass. " You may go on for long as you are," he
said, " clinging to a person, to a theory, to a book,

2 1 6 Perplexity.

but come at last you will, in spite of yourselves,
drawn by that Unseen Power.' '
When he pressed us with the question, " What
would you do if you knew you should die to
night?" I could answer, "In that case I would
be received, because it does seem to me most
probable that the Church of Rome is right, but
if I am not to die just yet, and taking into con
sideration the circumstances in which I am
placed, perhaps it would be better to wait a little,
and not to be in so great a hurry." This did not
appear an unreasonable answer. I wish it would
have satisfied Mr. Manning. Much perplexity
and misery would then have been spared me. A
young person of sixteen, acting against the wishes
of all her relations in such a matter, has many
difficulties to contend with. To begin with, there
was no opportunity of seeing a priest alone.
Girls were not so independent in those days as
they seem to be now. I had a horror of acting
in an underhand and deceitful manner. I could
not satisfy myself as to what I ought to do.
Whatever course I should take seemed to be a
wrong one. For the moment, however, when we
started on our travels, there appeared to be
nothing to do but to wait, and to hope that all
would be made clear, the mountains and hills be
brought low, the crooked ways be made straight,
and the rough places plain.

CHAPTER VII.
Visits to Protestant friends. Vexation. Oswald's collection
of books.
Archdeacon Wilberforce's Treatise on the Holy Eucharist. Its
definite teaching. This doctrine the key to Christianity.
The Sacred Humanity the appointed channel of grace.
St. Augustine's testimony.
Lessons learnt from study of Archdeacon Wilberforce's book.
Practical difficulties that it suggested. Milly's letters on the
subject. Her doubts and perplexities.
The Holy Communion, by Father Dalgaims. How Christianity
satisfies the yearning of the human soul for union with God.
Jewish saints contrasted with Christian saints. The sixth
chapter of St. John's Gospel.
We had a glimpse of Mr. Manning at the Bristol
Railway Station. He was going in one direction,
we were going in another. He had provided
himself with a copy of Macaulay's essay on
Ranke's History of the Popes. In this essay, he
remarked to us, Macaulay endeavours to account
on natural grounds for the indefectibility and the
ever-renewed vigour of the Catholic Church.
" I wonder if we shall ever meet again in this
created world," Mr. Manning said, on taking leave
of us. When we did meet again, it was in Rome.
Our first visit was to the Burtons. Of course
we could not help letting Milly see how perturbed

2 1 8 Vexation.

was the state of our minds. Of course Milly
was perturbed because we were perturbed. She
poured out all her fears and anxieties about us to
her mother. She in her turn became disquieted
lest we should imbue her daughters with our
Popish ideas. It was suggested that we should
promise not to talk of religion. Milly said,
" This would be quite impossible. How could
we bear to be together and not to speak of
that which was nearest to our hearts ? " What
line Sybella took I do not remember. At any
rate there was no fear of her being persuaded
to relinguish that privilege of private judgment
which she so much valued. I was distressed at
my mother's vexation. She did not realize how
unsettled we were. She considered, therefore,
that Mrs. Burton showed a want of confidence iii
us for which there was no warrant. Her vexation
was much increased a little later. Letters came
from officious people at Clifton, who thought it
necessary to tell her that they had heard reports
of her having received a visit from Mr. Manning.
They could not believe it. They begged her to
authorize them to contradict all such ill-natured
rumours !
Amongst our visits this autumn was one to '
Oswald Middleton's family. He had recently
married and was not at his former home. He
had left there, however, his small collection of
books. This included the Ecclesiastical Histories
of Socrates, Sozomen, &c, translations of which

Wilberforce on the Eucharist. 219
had been published at Oxford. These histories
I read with interest. I read also Newman's
University Sermons. From that one on "Implicit
and Explicit Reason," I wrote several extracts in
my note-book. Schlegel's Lectures on Modern
History, and Ruskin's Seven Lamps of Architecture
were also amongst the number of works which
Oswald's library afforded for our perusal.
Meanwhile Olivia and I were studying a book
which perhaps influenced me more than did any
other book in my early life. This was the
treatise by Archdeacon Robert Wilberforce On
the Holy Eucharist. This volume contained the
definite teaching on the Holy Eucharist for
which I had been longing. It was a theo
logical treatise which was unlike any that
had hitherto appeared in the English Church.
It was free from that vagueness and evasion
which are the characteristics of Anglican writers
in general. The Catholic doctrine was boldly
put forward. In the last chapter, entitled
" Practical Conclusions," it was shown how far
the English Church had in her existing practice
departed from the teaching of our Lord on this
great Sacrament, as His teaching was understood
by the Universal Church.
This treatise carried to its legitimate con
clusion the principle which had been insisted on
in Archdeacon Wilberforce's former works. The
Sacred Humanity of "our Blessed Lord is the
means by which we are to be sanctified and saved.

220 Vague Ideas of Anglicans.
When the words of consecration are pronounced,
His Body and Blood become really present on
the altar, and are given to us, according to His
promise, in order that we may have life. This
supernatural presence is effected by the words of
the priest who represents Christ, and not, as
Protestants hold, by the disposition of the
receiver. The Catholic doctrine regarding the Holy
Eucharist, like that of the Incarnation, must be
either true or false. It seemed curious that many
Anglicans do not see this. They say that it may
be true, or it may not : and that it does not much
signify what we believe concerning it. They
shrink from asserting that there is a Real
Presence of our Lord's Body and Blood in the
consecrated elements. They say that although
" He is verily and indeed taken and received by
the faithful," He only becomes present at the
moment of communion. The sacred elements
are not therefore entitled to Divine worship.
Those who thus speak have similarly vague ideas
with regard to the Incarnation itself. Ask them
whether the Infant in the manger at Bethlehem
was God, press them with the fact that either He
was God or He was not God, and they will
answer that we were not intended to go into
such subtleties, and that it is better to be vague
in these matters. When our Lord said, " Unless
you eat the Flesh of the Son of Man and drink
His Blood you shall not have life in you," He

Definite Teaching. 221
did not intend that we should take His words
literally, or inquire too closely into the meaning
of them.
Often had I been silenced and perplexed ;
almost had I been made to fancy that it was
wrong to yield a simple belief to these words,
and to be certain that our Blessed Lord meant
what He said, and reiterated so solemnly. Now
at last this book of Robert Wilberforce's justified
me in the belief which I had implicitly held. Its
clear enunciation of doctrine satisfied me. The
doctrine was the same — so it seemed to me — as
that ofthe Church of Rome. Numerous passages
from the writings of the early Fathers were cited
by him in support of it.
It was not the authority that could be adduced
for this great doctrine, however, which most im
pressed me. I learnt to understand that it was
the key to the whole of Christianity, "God
manifest in the Flesh." The Incarnation was
not a thing of the past, and of historical interest
only. It was a living, energizing fact. "The
Bread which I will give is My Flesh, which I will
give for the life of the world." Protestant
"objections vanish when it is shown that our
Lord's Real Presence in the Holy Eucharist is a
natural sequel to the doctrine of the Incarnation ;
that it immediately connects itself with those
truths which are revealed to us respecting God,
Christ, and mankind; and that it supplies the
medium through which the merciful actions

222 The Sacred Humanity ts the
of the Mediator are brought home to His
creatures."1 And again. " The strong antipathy which our
reason entertains against the notion of an un
necessary miracle, vanishes so soon as we see
that the agency introduced only occupies its
natural place in that chain of causes by which
the acts of- God above are linked to those of His
earthly servants. No theist feels repugnance at
admitting a spiritual influence of God upon the
minds of His creatures, because the mind of man
appears to be an instrument which is naturally
adapted for the reception and perpetuation of
intellectual and spiritual impulses. The know
ledge, therefore, that we possess this door,,
whereby we can hold intercourse with spiritual
beings, inclines men to allow the reality of
their influence. And in like manner, when it is
discovered that our Lord's Humanity is the
appointed channel through which we participate
in heavenly blessings, and that the Holy Eucharist
is the medium through which it is imparted, His
Real Presence in that ordinance is discovered
to have its fitting place in God's dealing towards
mankind."2 There is another passage or two on which I
thought that those would do well to reflect to
whom this doctrine is a difficulty.
" Our Lord's mediation not only implies that
1 Doctrine of the Holy Eucharist, p. 109.
s Pp. 107, 108.

appointed Channel of Grace. 223
He condescended to be a sacrifice and intercessor
on man's behalf towards God, but likewise that
He made His Manhood the channel through
which the perfections of the Creator extended
themselves to the creature. There is ' one
Mediator between God and man, the Man Christ
Jesus.' "
" Grace is never spoken of in the Gospels,
except as associated with the Humanity of God
the Son."
" Hence it may be seen why the Holy Eucharist
is so important, and how it is (as St. Augustine
observes) that ' no one may say that the road of
safety lies in a good life, and the worship of one
God, without participation in the Body and Blood
of Christ.' ' For the statement that God will
have all men to be saved, is not to be understood
as taking effect without a Mediator ; and that
Mediator is not God, ... but the Man Christ
Jesus.' There must be some means, then, by
which we must be put into relation with the New
Man, even as we have a natural relation to the
flesh of the old one ; we must be united by grace
to Christ, as we were united to Adam by nature.
Neither should it surprise us that the processes
should present some analogy ; that if the poison
of the one is transmitted through his flesh, so
His Flesh shall be the medium through which is
transmitted the virtue of the other. For that
which constitutes our earthly being is not only
a separate personality (however derived and in

224 Effect of the Incarnation.
whatever consisting), but likewise that common
nature which we inherit from our original parent.
This nature is transmitted, according to the most
mysterious of all earthly laws, through the con
tinuity of the flesh. It was not inconsistent,
therefore, with the order of the Divine economy
that our Lord's Flesh and Blood, mysteriously
and supernaturally communicated, should be the
principle of a higher life to His brethren.
" This, then, was the truth which our Lord
declared in the institution of the Holy Eucharist,
a truth which, whether or not fully understood
by His Apostles at the moment, was certainly
explained in those statements, which the Holy
Ghost afterwards recalled to their memory, as it
was confirmed by the practice and belief of the
Church which they established. ' Take, eat, this
is My Body.' What was this but the explanation
of that mysterious prediction, ' I am the Living
Bread, which came down from Heaven ; and the
Bread which I will give is My Flesh, which I will
give for the life of the world ' ? The Holy Eucha
rist, therefore, is the carrying out of that act
which took effect in the Incarnation of the Son
of God. So that when the one is thought strange,
we shall always find that the other is imperfectly
appreciated. It was by the Incarnation that
God and man, the finite and the Infinite, were
brought into relation ; and that the graces which
were inherent in the one, were communicated as
a gift to the other. Now, the medium through

Archdeacon Wilberforce's Position. 225

which these gifts are extended is not the Deity,
but the Manhood of Christ. ' The Bread which
I will give is My Flesh, which I will give for the
life ofthe world.'"1
I read the book very carefully, and I took great
pains to master its argument. That it had been
so strongly recommended by Mr. Aubrey de Vere
gave me confidence that it would not contain
anything which was materially at variance with
the doctrine of the Roman Church. Archdeacon
Wilberforce, by reason of his acknowledged
learning, piety, and solidity of judgment, occu
pied a position which was indefinitely superior
to that of the ordinary Anglican writers of the
day. He took his stand on the teaching of the
Universal Church. The Church of England
claimed to be part of the Universal Church,
and to agree in all things with the Fathers, and
therefore he assumed that the Catholic doctrine
on the Holy Eucharist must be the doctrine of
the Church of England. He appealed also to
her having retained the act of consecration as
evidence that she believed in the efficacy of that
act. Certainly the Catholic doctrine of the Blessed
Eucharist gives a completeness to the work of.
our Divine Lord which is wanting without it.
Were it not for the continual presence of His
Sacred Humanity in our midst, the Christian
religion would become a thing of the past.
1 Pp. 99—101.

226 The Catholic Doctrine of tke Eucharist.
Many Protestants indeed consider that the
chosen people of the Jewish dispensation were
in a better position than are Christians. They
were invited to a closer intercourse with Almighty
God. Through His Prophets they were more
fully taught His will.
That the worldly and the unthinking should
seize on any pretext for rejecting a doctrine
which condemns their selfishness and their indif
ference is intelligible. But how can those reject
the Catholic doctrine of the Blessed Sacrament
who really love their Creator, and wish to serve
Him ? Is it the very greatness of the gift that
He bestows on them which tempts them to in
credulity ? Do they doubt because they cannot
believe that God can love them so much ? Is it
indeed an invention of man that his Creator
should condescend to so close a union with him ?
Who could have dared to invent it ? " The Word
was made Flesh and dwelt among us, and we
have seen His glory," and He Who implanted in
the heart of man the craving for the Infinite, has
vouchsafed to satisfy that craving in a measure,
even in this life.
This doctrine was, indeed, the mariner's
compass that kept my frail bark from founder
ing, and at last steered it safely into port. Oh,
that those to whom it is now, as it was to the
men of old, "a hard saying," could learn to
receive it ! Then would they understand the
religion of Jesus Christ in the fulness of its truth.

The Effects of this Doctrine. 227
Then would they perceive how possible becomes
the attainment of the most heroic virtues, how
natural are those acts of humility and self-denial
which appear to worldlings unreal and exagge
rated, how abundantly a convert to Catholicism
is compensated even on earth for all the sacrifices
that he may be required to make. Does not the
Blessed Sacrament unite earth to Heaven, and
unite the worship of the Church Militant with
that of the Church Triumphant ? The Lamb
that was slain is adored on the altars of the
Catholic Church, and is presented before the
Eternal Father from "the rising of the sun to
the going down thereof." The vision of St. John
is fulfilled, " The Tabernacle of God is with men,
and He will dwell with them."
In two ways my practical difficulties were much
increased by the lessons that I learnt from this
book : (1) In the first place it was clear that the
Sacrifice of the Holy Eucharist was the one act
of worship of the Apostolic Church, whereas in
the Anglican Church people could not take part
in it till they had been confirmed. In the majority
of Anglican churches, moreover, it was celebrated
only some twelve times— in the country perhaps
only three times— in the course of the year.
In the Catholic church which we passed every
Sunday, there was not only a weekly but a daily
celebration. Could it be right to be debarred
from going there ?

228 Grave Practical Difficulties.
(2) The second difficulty was this. In St. John
the Baptist's, where we ordinarily worshipped,
the Communion Service was reverently performed.
One might conclude that the officiating minister
believed in his own power to consecrate and that
he had the intention of exercising it. But if for
any reason we attended a Clifton church, or went
to the ordinary churches in the country, it was
certain that any idea of there being a peculiar
sacredness in the consecrated elements after
the conclusion of the service never entered the
clergyman's head. In disposing of the elements
afterwards he would talk familiarly with his
parishioners : " Very glad to see you here to-day,
Mrs. Brown;" or he would leave them as the
perquisite of the clerk. In an English chapel on
the Continent, I remember the chaplain coming
into an adjoining room where we were putting
on our cloaks, bringing what was left over of
the bread and wine, and asking those present to
assist him in disposing of it. I felt it incumbent
on me to kneel down (the rubric in the Prayer
Book does say something about reverence on
these occasions), though painfully conscious of
the tactlessness of such a proceeding, when the
Rev. Mr. B  was chatting casually with my
elders and betters, the representatives of British
royalty in the city to which I allude. On another
occasion I remember an uncle of mine, after
returning into the church to fetch an umbrella,
coming back chuckling. He said that he had

Milly 's Perplexities. 229
interrupted the clerk in his enjoyment of the
wine that had been left. Such incidents were
common enough.
To judge from Milly's letters which remain to
me, we had a good deal of correspondence about
Archdeacon Wilberforce's views. She had been
greatly impressed by those discourses of Faber's,
" On the Blessed Sacrament from the writings
of the Saints," which had had such an effect on
me a year or two earlier. She writes :
" What you say in your letter, and various
other thoughts working together, have combined
to set my stupid brain in a whirl of doubt and
mystery. I long to believe one thing, but I fear
being presumptuous. Now what I long to believe
is your doctrine, and Faber's. But it seems to me
that the system called Sacramental is more than
we have in the Bible. It seems very philosophical,
and my faith would not shrink from it, did I
feel I had any right to believe it. It appears
to be a system made by man. Not that by
this I mean to say it is either false or in
credible, but have we any warrant for taking
as an article of certainty and faith anything
which is not revealed to us ? Why do we believe
this system ? It is most beautiful and very
possibly may be true, but is it safe to decide
that it is true, and so act on it ? Don't be angry
with me. I am very tiresome, I know, but these
things perplex and make me anxious, and I must

230 Doubts and Questions:
talk to you about them. I can't help it, un
fortunately for you.
" On the subject of the Holy Eucharist I am
again thrown into a sea of doubts. Questions
arise which reason can't decide, and which it
seems wrong and daring to- start, yet they will
come. On such a matter doubt is sad, for it
touches one's inner life too closely to be put aside
as a thing of slight importance which- will come
right of itself. I wish I could see you and tell
you my thoughts. I can't write them, for sundry
reasons. Perhaps it is better for me not to tell
them, great as would be the comfort of so doing.
I might come to be where you are! And then
what would it be to my friends at ho>me ? What
would Sybella say?"
A few weeks later Milly continues : " Now I
am coming to the great point of your letter, the
Sacramental System. It was a new idea to me,
but very beautiful, that re-making of our nature
by the Incarnation of Christ, and I feel as if it
must be true though so awful in its very blessed
ness. Only I don't see why sacraments are the-
exclusive means of union with our New Head-
Why not also prayer, faith, reading and believing
the Bible ? These are all means of grace, and
by grace do we not really mean receiving Christ
into our souls and being united to Him? And
don't all the means of grace help as well as the
sacraments to do this ? We are said to be ' bora

Various Means of Grace. 231
again' of the Word of Truth as well as by
Baptism, therefore is not this as great a means,
if used in faith, as the sacraments themselves ?
Expound to me all this matter, my wise one !
I feel you do seek the real truth, and I never
fear you won't satisfy me honestly as to what
you think. Another difficulty (not first started
by me) is this. If the Holy Eucharist be so
infinitely superior a means of grace as this
doctrine of the sacraments would make it, how
is it that it is so little made of in the Bible
comparatively, that it is not said to be the only
means of uniting us to Christ ? though of course
it is said to be a means of doing so, and this is
enough to fix its unspeakable blessedness for ever.
This perplexes me. You see there is no end to
my questions and doubts.
" Your letter was very interesting, and I per
fectly understand all about Wilberforce, for you
do write very clearly whatever you may think.
Now I am going to talk about it to prove that I
understand, though probably you won't be able to
understand me.
" I quite see the fundamental difference between
Wilberforce's and my ideas, as to our Lord's
Incarnation and Death, I making the first sub
ordinate and chiefly preparatory to the last. I like
Wilberforce's ideas about the Incarnation so very
much, I want fully to embrace them, but that
very desire of mine makes me fear to take them

232 Is the Sacramental System
for granted as true, lest it should be a merely
earthly desire, not love of truth. What my way
of considering the doctrine is founded on is, I
suppose, the prominence which seems to be given
in the Bible to the work effected by the Death
of Christ, the Atonement, the reconciliation
between God and men, as if that was the chief
reason for our Lord's becoming Man, viz., that
'by death He might destroy him that had the
power of death.' In the Body of His Flesh
through death we are reconciled. By His Death
He becomes our Mediator, our Redeemer, the
satisfaction for our sins. Of course this could
not be without His Incarnation, but is not His
Death His chief work, His great act, the object
of His Incarnation, the foundation of our hope
in Him ? Supposing a good man, who does not
look on the sacraments as means of uniting him
to Christ, as anything more than signs of an
effected union, supposing such a one earnestly
believes that in that Death is all his hope of
pardon and of grace, can we doubt that the
pardon and grace will be given to him, inde
pendently of the sacraments, to which, coming not
with a full faith, he would not, I suppose, be
capable of receiving their full benefit ? Yet can
we doubt that such a man, living by faith in
Christ, is in Christ a new creature ? I quite see
the force of Wilberforce's argument from analogy,
and of the reasonableness and credibility of his
doctrine, only — are we in the Bible expressly

taught in the Bible ? 233
limited to the Sacramental System ? How were
the Apostles made partakers of Christ before
the sacraments were ordained ? Are we told
that man cannot be brought into union with God
except through sacraments? I quite feel and
believe that they are means of union and com
munion with Christ. This is their value and
blessedness in great measure, but I do not see
that, as a system, they are made the only means
of union. By living faith we are joined to
Christ, our humanity to His Holy Humanity.
Sacraments are only the tangible and outward
means, so to speak, of that union, but is not that
union sometimes effected (not of course in any
who wilfully despise or neglect the outward
means) without them ? I feel, of course, it would
be both foolish and wicked to neglect obeying
any one command of our Lord, and sacra
ments are ordained by Him, and are therefore
most blessed, yes, unutterably precious as His
gift and ordinance, so that it seems to me im
possible that any one who loves Him should not
love and use them. But some do not feel this,
some do neglect them, yet, we trust, believe in
and love Him, doing it somehow in ignorance or
misunderstanding, or having a low idea of their
efficacy. Are such without Him ? severed from
Him in Whom alone is Life ? How is this ?
Do we not try to make too much of a regular
system of the doctrine of sacraments ? more of
a regular system than the Bible does? You'll

234 The Value of Sacraments.
think all this very horrid, but forgive me, for I
am undecided and want conviction, so I am
obliged to tell you my worst difficulties in their
worst form."
Milly's difficulties were not difficulties to me.
I told her she was right in thinking that it was
grace that united us to Christ, and that sacra
ments were valuable as means of grace, but that
she was wrong in supposing that the Church
taught that sacraments were the exclusive means,
and that no one could be saved without sacra
ments. Grace was given before the sacrafhents
were instituted. Sufficient grace for salvation is
given to all who have no opportunity of knowing
about and receiving sacraments, but this did not
prevent sacraments from being " generally neces
sary to salvation," as the English Catechism said.
Sacraments were certainly not inventions of men,
because they were instituted by our Lord, and I
denied that there was not enough said about them
in the Bible to warrant the veneration in which
the Church has always held them. On this
subject, Newman, in one of his Tracts for the
Times, had written :x "If obscurity of texts . . .
about the grace of the Eucharist, be taken as a
proof that no great benefit is therein given, it is
an argument against there being any benefit. On
the other hand, when certain passages are once
1 Scripture and the Creed, " Discussions and Arguments," p. 118.
Pickering.

Deduction from St. Paul's Words. 235
interpreted to refer to it, the emphatic language
used in those passages shows that the benefit is
not small. We cannot say that the subject is un
important, without saying that it is not mentioned
at all. Either no gift is given in the Eucharist, or
a great gift. If only the sixth chapter of St. John,
for instance, does allude to it, it shows it is not
merely an edifying rite, but an awful communica
tion beyond words. Again, if the phrase, 'the
communication of the Body of Christ,' used by
St. Paul, means any gift, it means a great one.
You may say, if you will, that it does not mean
any gift at all, but means only a representation
or figure ofthe communication ; this I call explain
ing away, but still it is intelligible ; but I do not
see how, if it is to be taken literally as a real
communication of something, it can be other than
a communication of His Body."
I suggested to Milly that what she said about
making a regular system which did not seem
explicitly set forth in the Bible, would apply
equally to the Creed, and that because there
were many good people who thought it their duty
to believe only that which appeared to them to
be in the plain text of Scripture, and therefore
rejected this or that article of the Creed, it did
not follow that they were right or that we need
concern ourselves about them. What evidence
could they adduce from Scripture that this was
the way in which Almighty God intended us to
learn His truth ?

236 Man's desire for union with God
I could not then tell Milly all that I have since
learnt about the Holy Sacrament of the Altar-
all that she was herself to learn in the long years
during which she would struggle to church in the
dark winter mornings, ill and suffering as she was.
" If one can do nothing else in the day, it seems
to me one ought to hear Mass. That is so much
the most important thing we have to do," Milly
used to say. " If it tires us, it is quite worth
while to be tired. I am told I ought to keep my
strength for other duties, as if I had any duty
that could compare with this ! "
Archdeacon Wilberforce's book was almost
exclusively on dogma. In after years Milly gave
me a book to read which I had not seen before.
It was a book that was not merely theological
and philosophical, but pre-eminently devotional,
that On ihe Holy Communion, by Father Dalgairns.
Here we found an answer to the questions which
we used to discuss while we were as yet outside
the Church. Two passages I will cite. One
passage describes how God has in this Blessed
Sacrament vouchsafed to satisfy the intense desire
of the soul for union with Him. The other passage
notes the dissimilarity between the saints of the
Old Testament and those of the New Testament,
and it attributes this dissimilarity to Holy Com
munion. Father Dalgairns had been speaking of the
natural yearning which there is in the human heart

satisfied in Holy Communion. 237
for union with God, and how Christianity has
increased that yearning by showing the possi
bility of satisfying it. He goes on to say : " The
knowledge of the existence of such a being as
Man- God has created a change in us down to our
very heart's core. All the full, vehement tide of
our affections has set towards Jesus. All the
trembling awe-struck love which we felt for God
is fixed on Jesus, without a transfer, since He is
God. The craving void remains, but it has lost
its despair, for Jesus exists. There is a new
feeling upon earth in our inmost soul, which we
cannot describe ; we can only feel it. It is made
up of awe-struck adoration, and of a deep tender
ness, in which all earth's affections are centred
and outdone. Strange mysterious feeling! He
died near two thousand years ago, yet we love
Him like those who ' saw with their eyes, who
looked upon and handled with their hands 7 the
Word of Life. Childhood lisps His name, youth
fixes its fiery affections upon Him ; our manly
love only adds fresh fuel to the flame, and it
burns, unquenched beneath the snows of age.
The wife loves Him better than her husband, and
the mother than her children. Hearts throb with
gushing love at the very mention of His name ;
tears of joy spring to the eyes at the thought that
Jesus lives. He is our life, and without Him we
are spiritually dead. The thirst of man for God
has not changed in kind by being fixed on Him;
since our love for Him has for its first element

238 Jewish Saints.
our love for God. It has only acquired a tender
ness which it had not before, while it has gained
strength a thousand-fold. A new want has arisen
in our hearts, and we thirst for union with Jesus.
This is the want which God has satisfied in
giving us the Blessed Sacrament."
Contrasting the Jewish saints with the Christian
saints, Father Dalgairns says, "The pardon of sin
and the sanctification of the soul have been the
elements of justification ever since the Fall. Six
thousand years have made no difference in that.
The grace of our first mother after God had
pardoned her, does not differ in kind from that
of the infant baptized to-day, or of the sinner
over whom absolution has just been pronounced.
In that respect the Passion of Christ was to the
Jews as though it had been already past. The
Cross of Christ was the meritorious cause of the
justification of Eve as it is of our own. But
there was one thing that could not be then, and
that was the Blessed Sacrament. God could
justify David on the prospective merits of David's
unborn Son ; but not God Himself could cause
the real Body and Blood of Jesus to exist before
they were conceived in Mary's womb, that is, to
be and not to be at the same time. It is this
which makes the difference between the old
dispensation and the new ; Jesus was future then,
and He is present now. Theirs was the time of
hope; and ours the time of union with Him.
They looked across the lapse of centuries waiting

Christian Saints. 239
for Him Whom we possess. Clear as is the
vision which the Prophet saw of the wondrous
Child Whom the Virgin should conceive, and of
Him Who came with dyed garments from Bosra ;
yet, what is the vision of Jesus to the reality?
The meanest Christian who makes his Easter
receives a greater gift than did the kings and
prophets who longed to see His day, and saw it
not. For this reason it is that the saints of the
Christian Church so far outnumbered the saints
of the old dispensation. For this reason it is
that, while the Jewish maiden mourned her
solitude upon the mountains of Judaea, count
less virgins, without thinking themselves saints,
abandon all to win the title of spouses of Christ.
Trace all these wonders of the Christian Church
to their source, you will find it in the Holy
Communion. It is the Blessed Sacrament which
makes the real difference between the Christian
and the Jew."
To those who do not believe in the Real
Presence of Jesus Christ in the Blessed Eucharist,
I would say, read the sixth chapter of St. John,
and judge for yourself whether it is not the
teaching of our Lord. " Nowhere does He
awaken the least suspicion that He is speaking
figuratively when He says, ' Except you eat the
Flesh of the Son of Man, and drink His Blood,
you shall not have life in you.' The multitude
understood Him to be speaking, not of a figura
tive, but of a real eating ; the disciples who went

240 A Doctrine that concerns all Men.
back and walked no more with Him, understood
Him in the same way ; St. Peter and the twelve
who persevered with Jesus also understood Him
in the same way ; all the explanations given by
our Lord confirmed them in their interpretation,
. . . and, as if to seal our persuasion that Christ
was promising to give His Body and Blood in
some true and real manner at the Last Supper,
with every circumstance of solemnity, our Lord
took bread, and blessed, and brake it, and gave
it to His disciples, saying, Take ye and eat, for
this is My Body."
It cannot be a matter that does not concern
you. " What a privation, what a misfortune
yours will be, if when it is too late, when you
appear before your Judge, you discover that the
Eternal Word Incarnate, Jesus Christ, was really
and truly present in the world, and you knew it
not. Think what a source of grace lies within
your reach, if the teaching of the Catholic Church
in this point be true. We should pity one born
to wealth and honour, who, unconscious of his
rights, should pass his days in poverty and toil.
More to be pitied are those who pass through
life ignorant of the Real Bodily Presence of Christ
in the world." 1 1 Archbishop Porter.

CHAPTER VIII.
Difficulties in the way of conversion. Reasons why it was
delayed. The Crimean War. A first great sorrow. The state
of the soul after death. Tennyson's In Memoriam. Letters
from sympathizing friends. Prayers for the dead. Notes of
a High Church sermon on the Communion of Saints. The
necessity for penance taught in Scripture. The consolations of
Purgatory. Bournemouth. St. Peter's Church. Spiritual helps in the
English Church. The Definition of the doctrine of the Immacu
late Conception. Mr. Dean's secession. Extracts from Diary.
Thoughts suggested by Mr. Woodford. Extracts from Mr. Wood
ford's published sermons. The punishment that rejection of
any article of faith entails. The mystery of the Gospel. Lectures
on the latter part of the Creed. The Holy Catholic Church.
The Alliance of Church and State.
Courbon on Mental Prayer. Spiritual consolation. A foreign
tour projected.
I have tried, in the preceding chapters, to give an
account of the religious impressions of my early
years. It may seem that one whose convictions
were so decided as were mine had no excuse for
remaining in the Church of England. Now I
must relate how it came to pass that I went on
for some years trying to work out my salvation
in that communion. These were, perhaps, years
of more seriousness and thoughtfulness than those
which had gone before, even if they were also
years of greater danger, lest through procrastina-
Q

242 God's supreme claim to Obedience.
tion or delay in corresponding to God's grace,
that grace — the inestimable gift of faith — should
have been withdrawn.
God is very merciful. He alone knows how
far we have been faithful to His inspirations, or
how sadly we have marred His gracious designs
towards us, or how negligently we have responded
to His call ; He knows our weakness and our
difficulties as none other can know them. In my
case there were tremendous difficulties to be
overcome. If I decided that these difficulties
should be met by patience and perseverance in
the use of such means of grace as were within
my reach, until a brighter day should dawn and
the shadows should flee away, I would fain have
hoped it was not altogether cowardice and human
respect that influenced me.
It is very difficult for those who are outside
the Church to realize the right that God has
to demand their submission in order to accept
ance of truths which He has revealed. They
think it cannot signify much whether they hold
this doctrine or that doctrine. They consider
that they are large-minded in being indifferent
with regard to what others believe. They forget
that it is God's truth which they are dealing with
— the revelation which He has chosen to make.
It is His revelation, and it cannot be a matter
of small importance whether men believe it or
not. I do not think that I recognized the
supreme claim of God to the obedience of His

Archdeacon Wilberforce's Secession. 243
creatures, and how subordinate to His claim
is every human claim, till after I became a
Catholic. Meanwhile, Robert Isaac Wilberforce, whose
influence was so great, and whose sincerity could
not be doubted, was still exercising bis office as
Archdeacon of the East Riding. He had not yet
proclaimed to the world that he had found his
position to be untenable. In 1854 he published
his Sermons on ihe Holy Eucharist. It was a
supplement to his Treatise on the doctrine of the
Holy Eucharist, as the Sermons on the New Birth
had been a supplement to his book On the
Incarnation. In the autumn of the same year,
Archdeacon Wilberforce resigned his preferment
in the Established Church, and he became a
Catholic. That year was a year of sorrow. How many
homes were rendered desolate by the Crimean
War! Two of my brothers (I had three), the
eldest only twenty-one, had gone to take part in
it, and were destined never to return. They
were amongst the first of the victims. Before
the end of October both of my brothers were
numbered with the dead. It was not a time when
I could think as I ought to think with regard
to doctrinal questions. A change came over me,
and such a change as perhaps a first great
bereavement alone can bring. Keen have been
the sorrows of after-life. Again and again those
whom I most loved have been taken away. Often

244 -d first great Sorrow.
has the chalice of suffering been drained to the
very dregs, but hardly ever again have I experi
enced the intensity of anguish which was mine
when I gazed on the list of the killed at the
Battle of the Alma. I felt that if all whom I
loved were then and there lying dead at my feet,
I could not have suffered more. I should even
have rejoiced to think that they could not have
to endure that which I was enduring then.
This first great sorrow came to me in my early
youth. Would it have had the same effect, I
wonder, had I been older ? The whole world for
a time seemed changed ; its pleasures were no
longer attractive, its annoyances of no importance.
What had hitherto appeared so all-engrossing
was now so trivial. Death became a reality. My
own death, which had formerly seemed but a
possibility, suddenly came before me as a certainty.
It is not often that death so comes before me now,
even when I most try to realize it. As the years
go on we find that we have many more friends,
many more of those whom we have loved and
cherished, in the other world, than remain to us
here. But when we are very young, it is a
strange and an altogether novel experience to feel
that one whom we have known all our lives, one
who has been associated with all our fun and
merriment, has been taken away from us for
ever. He was full of life and gaiety ; never again
will he talk and laugh with us. Awe and rever
ence mingle with our thoughts of him. He has

The moment after Death. 245
knowledge now of the mysteries of the spiritual
existence. He has felt
The new immortal throb of soul from body parted.
That first moment after death ! I thought in
those days that this must be a grand experience,
although I had not been taught then that the soul
passes instantly into the presence of its Judge,
that it beholds the Sacred Face of Him Who died
to save it, and that from His lips it at once has
knowledge of its doom, for, as St. Paul says, "After
death the Judgment." I had not been taught
that if the soul was not as yet fit for the bright
home for which it is one day destined, there is a
prison beyond the grave, a place of purification
where it is detained. There it is cleansed from
those sins which, although forgiven, have not
been expiated. There it is prepared for the
Heaven where nothing defiled can enter.
I think that the idea of many Protestants is
that the soul's fate is left undecided till the Last
Judgment. Meanwhile, the soul is in a place of
repose and will not wake up till the last trumpet
sounds, and the sign of the Son of Man is seen
in the sky. It is urged against the practice of
praying for the dead that, " as the tree falls, so' it
lies," that prayers cannot avail to save a soul that
dies in enmity with its Creator. Herein Protes
tants ignore the Particular Judgment. They
suppose that the departed are still waiting to
hear their sentence, and that, till that sentence

246 Communion with the Departed.
is pronounced, they are at rest. Ages may pass
before punishment or reward will be allotted to
them. Protestants tell us that we may think of
them meanwhile as sleeping.
Sleeping ! that idea did not commend itself to
me. Yearning for communion with those whom
we no longer see on earth could not thus be
satisfied. This yearning found expression in the
words of Tennyson :
Be near me when my light is low,
When the blood creeps, and the nerves prick
And tingle ; and the heart is sick,
And all the wheels of Being slow.
Be near me when I fade away,
To point the term of human strife,
And on the low dark verge of life
The twilight of eternal day.
Then he asks :
, Do we indeed desire the dead
Should still be near us at our side ?
Is there no baseness we would hide ?
No inner vileness that we dread ?
Shall he for whose applause I strove,
I had such reverence for his blame,
See with clear eye some hidden shame
And I be lessen'd in his love ?
But he puts aside the thought as wronging;
those who are free from the narrowness and the
want of charity of which we ourselves are
conscious.

Lessons learnt from Sorrow. 247
I wrong the grave with fears untrue :
Shall love be blamed for want of faith ?
There must be wisdom with great Death :
The dead shall look me thro' and thro'.
Be near us when we climb or fall ;
Ye watch, like God, the rolling hours
With larger, other eyes than ours,
To make allowance for us all.
The In Memoriam is a genuine record, in some
what obscure language, of the experience of a
soul which has truly mourned. Sorrow has taught
the soul to avail itself of the consolations which
faith can give to it, and to believe in the im
mortality that faith has promised. I remember
that In Memoriam was a real solace to me in that
sorrow. I wondered then how any one who has suffered
can doubt God's love. It seemed to me that it
is never so brought home to those that trust in
Him, as it is in a great sorrow. How often we
are told of one who is in severe affliction, " She
is wonderfully supported." It is a commonplace
phrase, but it contains a great truth. God does
give a special help to His children, when He asks
from them a great sacrifice which they try to give
Him willingly, begging Him to
Forgive [their] grief for one removed
[His] creature whom they found so fair.
Letters in my possession bring this time vividly
before me. Our kind friend, Mr. Somers, wrote :

248 Human Consolations.
" October 15, 1854.
" Your sweet letter has been a great comfort to
me. I had become intensely anxious to hear
about you all, but especially about your mama.
She had often shadowed to herself the contingency
of this affliction as one of the very possible results
of actual service, but when such a calamity comes
in all its deadly truth and reality, the heart and
mind stagger under it as if the blow were alto
gether unexpected. And I know how the loss of
her brave boy — her first-born — will bring freshly
before her, sorrows which time had somewhat
benumbed. Love will clasp grief.
" In after-times this sorrow will be brightened
by the thought of the glorious manner of his
death — rushing into destruction at the command
of duty. It must be a great support and solace
to you now to know that he had well contemplated
the possibility of the end which did indeed befall
him. " After all, looking at your loved brother's fate,
as . compared with that of many, it has been an
enviable one. A bright joyous life, a time for
reflection, and then a noble, heroic end. From
what anxieties and heart-aches he has been saved!
' He has passed into that still country where the
hail-storm and the fire-shower may not reach,
and where the heaviest -laden wayfarer at length
lays down his load.'
" At first in these trials it is as much as we can
do to gasp out the words, ' God's will be done.'

Divine Consolations. 249
Time passes by, and the sad event is viewed
under different angles of vision and it presents new
aspects, and we are able to say, Blessed be God !
Even in His sharpest stroke love and mercy were
dealt with it."
The words that follow, I read many a time.
They were written by a true Catholic friend.
" God only, Who inflicts these terrible bereave
ments, can cure the wound they leave behind.
We know that He is all-wise and all-good, and
that He does all things well both for us and for
those we love. He is nearest to us, when He
seems most to afflict us, and He will ever give us
grace and consolation proportioned to our need.
Compared with such consolations all human ones
are trifling — even the thought of that death in the
discharge of duty and on the field of honour,
which has been said to come next after the
Martyr's fate."
Milly wrote me on the day in which she heard
of our loss :
" How I do think of you and of all you have
to bear now. I only want to say a few words to
tell you how I share in your sorrow, as if I had
been your sister, and how I pray for you all.
You can pray for him too, and very great must be
the comfort of that. I long to do it, and why
should I not?

250 Trust in a perfect Love.
" Death is not to you what it would be to many,
I know, not utter separation. I wish I had your
faith, my dear one, I feel to need it greatly at
times, and now it would be an unspeakable
comfort. I have so little of it, yet some I have,
and it helps me very much, small and miserably
weak as it is, faith in that Perfect Love, which
we are so apt to measure by our own imperfection,
and so utterly fail to conceive of. Yet I know it
is, and that it is over you and him now, and
must you not all be safe in that Love? It is
such unutterable comfort to be able to trust you
all to it, even poor and ignorant as that trust is
in me."
A few days later Milly wrote again :
" October 16, 1854.
" You can hardly know the comfort and happi
ness your precious note gave me. I did not
expect to hear from you so soon. It is very good
for me to see how you bear this sorrow, and in
some faint degree to take a part in it, for indeed
I do this by such true sympathy, which, though I
cannot express it, I know you will believe I feel.
Your letter made me feel almost happy amid all
the grief. I had prayed that you might be com
forted, and you have that highest of all comfort,
the blessed faith that he is safe, and that it was
well for him to go. I am so thankful that you
feel this. It does indeed seem to calm and almost

Consoling Thoughts. 251
prevent all earthly regrets and longings for him.
Life might have been so full of dangers and
temptations to him had he lived. I shall indeed
think of you and him in the Te Deum. I do think
nearly all day when I am alone and quiet. It
seems so very wonderful to think of him as he is,
little as we can conceive of that mysterious world
where he is gone, to think of him as perhaps
knowing all those things which we so long to
know and cannot know. Again I feel a longing
for your trusting faith.
" Dear child ! if it were not wicked, I could
envy you, even your sorrow, borne as it is. And
then the glory (for there is a great glory, and
though earthly, I hope not wrong) of thinking of
his noble death and his bright memory. I feel —
is it only fancy ? — I could bear to have lost him
to have that memory left to me for ever."
Another friend wrote the same day :
" October 16, 1854.
"... I am sure there is great comfort for
you all even in this dispensation, not only in the
self-devotion and glory of his death, but in the
still more glorious faith and hope of a joyful
resurrection. It is very, very sad even to us to
feel that his bright smile is lost to us for ever on
this side the grave, but these heavy afflictions
seem sent to teach us holy lessons and to rend in
part the veil that separates us from the unseen

252 Sorrow strengthens Friendship.
world ; to take away the fear of Death for our
selves, while we feel that the fears of life (and
they are many) can never more exist for the
departed. And sorrow draws nearer together the
hearts of the living. We can never again be quite
the same as you were before this event, or as I
was before last year. We can never feel that
great sorrow is unknown by us, but, dearest, let
it not weaken our love. I am feeling so deeply
with you. Let us never forget that though the
sunny years of our childhood have flown, the love
of those old days must remain for ever, deeper
and deeper, I trust, as time rolls on. How blessed
it is to think that even death cannot end it ! how
earnest the prayer that when the few years of
this weary life are ended we may all rest in peace
with ' those who have departed this life in the
faith and fear of the Lord,' never to be parted
again. I am so thankful that you are able to
think of all this even now. I have wept many
tears for you all."
The following letter is from Milly :
" October 25, 1854.
" I must begin writing to you at once, having
received your dear long letter this morning. You
say you do like having a letter from me, or I
don't think I should dare to send you one again
so soon. . . . Perhaps I too need some great
trial to teach me by sorrow what it seems I

Anticipation of Suffering. 253
cannot learn by joy, the littleness of outward
things, the realities of the spiritual world. Some
times I think the trial is coming, and how weakly
I shrink from the very thought of it ! Yet there
are moments when I almost envy you your sorrow
and have a longing to have suffered, to have no
more to dread, but to have passed the great
ordeal, and to be calmed and stilled from all
earthly cravings, fears, and ardent wishes; to
have been forced, as it were, from making my
home and rest on earth, and to have nothing
more to long for but to do God's will and prepare
for His coming. I don't think these thoughts
have a good foundation. I believe they are partly
selfish, and less from the desire to be very good,
than to be free from care and the anxious weari
ness of human love. Oh me ! thoughts, thoughts
— how foolish and useless they are ! Your letters
always make me feel how little I do, especially
this last one. It has made me sad : I hope it will
do more. It ought.
" Yes, I do feel very much that difficulty of
repenting definitely and earnestly, of which you
speak. For a long time and very painfully I have
felt it, and it makes me unhappy and frightened.
At moments I feel very penitent, when for an
instant it flashes on my mind how awful it is to
sin, and then I cannot express how grieved and
ashamed I feel, but these repentings are soon
over. I can't think why they go away so quickly.
Sin is really just as bad the next day as in the

254 Repentance.

moment in which it has been committed. Yet
how differently I feel about it even a few minutes
after, when something puts out of my head the
keen sense of my badness. Will this ever be
otherwise ? How I long to feel such repentance
as some good books express ! Don't you know
Faber says we ought to look upon ourselves as
the greatest sinners upon earth? Is this possible?
Ought we to do it ? I should like to be able to.
do it, for I should like to be humble, being not
as yet at all really as I ought to be.
" Self-examination is difficult. I get so used to
doing just the same wrong things, day after day,
and so tired of having done them that I don't
think my penitence increases every day, as it
certainly should, because every repetition of sin
aggravates its sinfulness. I feel quite stupid, so
dull and unconcerned, as if it were no more than
some mistakes I had made in a sum or in writing
an exercise. No, I don't at all want to die now,
for I want to be very much better first, if only I
can hope by living on to grow better. ' Death,
and after death the Judgment ! ' Do you remember
the extract you once sent me about that text?
I feel its truth more than ever — not enough,
though, or it would make me live differently.
Sometimes I am quite frightened at myself. I
seem to be living in a sort of foolish vain dream,
unreal and external, and then, to think of the
sudden and fearful waking which may come at any
moment! Then so often unbelieving thoughts

Thoughts about the Departed. 255
present themselves, such as I fancy you never
have, happy thing ! and these are the very worst
of all. I won't tell them to you. Why should I ?
It would only be selfish, I fear. . . .
" I did think of you on Sunday so much when
we said the Te Deilm, and I love to think of the
Communion of Saints. May we really be so near
to the departed ? I should so like to believe this,
especially now. I don't know whether to believe
it or not. I think more of it now than I ever did
before. How /have longed, too, to know what
that first moment after death is like ; what he felt
and thought after that instantaneous change from
strife and excitement and bodily activity, to the
calm spirit world. Did thought continue without
intermission, or was there a pause, a moment of
stillness and of rest like sleep before he could
realize the change which a moment had made ?
Then I wonder so what he is doing, in what state
he is, whether disembodied or gifted with a
spiritual body at once. Every night, just when I
lie down quietly, before I go to sleep, I stay
awake a little while to think of him. I like that
time. It is the only time when I can really think
at all. Often I have longed to see him, to have
one moment's actual intercourse with him, to be
able to imagine him rightly afterwards. T long
to know if I may pray for him, and if so, for
what ? I do pray, but ever with a fear it may be
in vain or worse. I don't think it can be wrong,
though, to ask only what I ask, and it is a very

256 Prayers for the Dead.
great comfort. How it changes the view of death
and one's feelings about it, to believe we are near
to those who are gone, and parts still of the same
body. Death becomes far less dreadful, and it
seems to be such a help to oneself to believe
we are so close to the holy invisible world,
whither those we have loved are gone.
One army of the living God,
To His command we bow.
Part of the host have crossed the flood,
And part are crossing now.
" We have been singing that hymn to-night, and
practising it, and despite of Samuel's screaming,
I am very fond of that hymn. Oh ! how one
longs to pierce the veil, whatever it be, which
hides from us the world of spirits, to see its
secrets for one moment, to know what it is we
shall be when we die, whether we shall care at
all for the things we have left, or know what
happens here. " Your very loving " Milly."
Milly in this letter wonders whether praying
for the dead can be wrong or useless. It is a
natural instinct of the heart that can hardly be
disregarded. It is the practice of the Universal
Church, as it had been of the Jewish. How,
then, could it be wrong? Useless, indeed, it
would be were there no intermediate place between
Heaven and Hell. Why pray for those who have

Notes of a High Church Sermon. 257
already entered into the enjoyment of the Vision
of God, or for lost souls who by their own delibe
rate choice have rejected God's love for ever ?
The Anglicans of that day had decided that there
existed an intermediate place, the Limbus which
existed before the Death of Jesus, and in which
they fancied that the souls of the faithful
departed are now in peace. Some notes I made
of a sermon on this subject, which interested me,
give the then current High Church doctrine.
This sermon was on the text, " If we walk in
the Light, as He is in the Light, we have fellow
ship one with another."
The Communion of Saints, it was remarked,
was a doctrine on which our ideas might have
been vague and indefinite. As forming part of
our baptismal faith, it could hardly be un
important. That it was not so considered in
ancient days was proved by the fact that the
Creed was not considered complete without it.
What, then, was this Communion of Saints in
which we professed our belief?
I. Between the individuals of the same family,
between the children of the same father, between
the members of the same body, there must
necessarily exist some sympathy, and some rela
tion. All the baptized, therefore, were outwardly
partakers of that fellowship of which the Evange
list spoke.
II. But there was a deeper bond than any bond
which could be formed by outward relationship,
R

258 Anglican Doctrine of the
and which bound in one the hearts of the faithful.
If two children were filled with intense love and
devotion to the same father, must not a closer
sympathy exist between them and draw them to
each other, than there would be if mere outward
relationship was their sole bond of union ? This
was the true Communion of God's Saints. The
most solitary, the most unfriended, could then
never be alone. From many an unknown altar
would prayers and supplications be really made
for him, and these like ministering angels would
guide his steps in life and support him on his
journey through the valley of death. He might
have been a partaker of the fellowship of those ,
who walked in the Light.
III. If then this fellowship was so real — so
spiritual, a supernatural, not a natural work, the
result of the Indwelling of God the Holy Ghost,
forming of many members but one Body — was
there any power which could destroy it ? Could
Death destroy it ? Surely not. The utmost that
Death could do was to destroy the body. The
soul still lived. Neither Revelation nor Reason
could lead us to conclude that such a change
could pass over the soul as to cause the whole
of its past existence to be obliterated from its
remembrance. Could the soul be conceived of
as retaining its identity, if at the moment in
which it quitted its body, it ceased to have any
interest in those who one instant before had been
the supreme objects of its affections ? Perhaps

Communion of Saints. 259
with his last breath the dying man had invoked
a blessing on those who were his dearest. Would
their salvation become to him in that instant a
matter of indifference ? It was impossible that
it could be so. The nature of the case was in
accordance with the instinct of our hearts. Reve
lation furnished positive proof that it was not so.
In the vision of St. John the souls of the martyrs
were represented as crying to God for vengeance.
This was enough, if we appealed to no other
passages of Holy Scripture, to prove that prayers
were offered to God by departed spirits, and that
earthly events were the subjects of their prayers.
Ifthey cried for retribution on the depraved, oh !
how much more would they implore grace for all
men of good-will.
Such then was their remembrance of us. Did
we forget them ? No. We had thought of their
interceding for us. Could they need our suppli
cations? It was certain that man's everlasting
doom was determined at the moment of death.
No prayers could bring an impenitent sinner to
salvation, and could our prayers add aught to
the happiness of Paradise ? It might be so. The
end was not yet consummated. The Judgment
was still to come. Who, even of the holiest,
•could look forward to that searching Judgment
and not tremble? Might not a shadow of its
approaching awfulness be even at times cast over
the peace of the souls in Paradise ? Our prayers,
therefore, might constantly be offered for their

260 Necessity for Penance taught
perfection, their comfort, and their refreshment.
We would, therefore, remember them before the
throne of Jesus. We prayed for them ; they
prayed for us. Such was the Communion of
Saints. " The Prophets, do they live for ever ? Your
fathers, where are they ? " Ah, who could tell ?
They might be hovering round our path. They
might be watching us from their place of repose,
and ever from the other side of the dark waters
that flowed between us and them there might be
ascending a wailing cry of supplication to Heaven,
and this for us. We were not left to our own
poor prayers. The souls in the Valley of the
Shadow prayed for us also. Dark and deep
indeed as might be the gulf that separated us
from those holy souls, there was at least one act
in which we could not be divided — and this was
our mutual unceasing prayer.
These thoughts comforted me greatly. They
encouraged me to pray as the Church prays in
Holy Mass : " To all who rest in Christ, grant,
we beseech Thee, a place of refreshment, light,
and peace."
Protestants have somehow persuaded them
selves that the Death of Jesus has not only made
atonement for the guilt of their sins, but that it
has done away with all necessity on their part of
doing' penance, and of making acts of contrition.
The Scriptures teach us in the histories of Moses,

in the Old and New Testaments. 261
of David, and of others, that even forgiven sins
entail severe temporal punishment. What a
chastisement was that which followed a seem
ingly venial sin — the numbering of the people !
Sufferings come to the holiest of men on earth.
Even those who are not saints can rejoice in
these sufferings. They know that they are proofs
of God's Love, and of God's desire to have them
all the sooner with Him in Heaven. Some men
have their purgatory in this present life. But
the majority of ordinary Christians die — in the
grace of God indeed and with real sorrow for
their sins, and yet — without having done very
much of penance, and still attached to the world
and to the pleasures of the world. They have
not made an act of contrition so perfect as to at
once admit them to the presence of their God.
He is a God not only of infinite Mercy and Love,
but a God also of infinite Purity and Justice.
Heaven would not be Heaven to them so long
as any stain remained on their souls. The
penance which they neglected on this earth must
be performed in that prison-house beyond the
grave of which our Lord said: "Thou shalt not
depart thence till thou hast paid the last farthing."
This debt may be lessened and it may be can
celled by the prayers and by the sacrifices which
are offered in their behalf on earth. Thus it is
our blessed part to hasten the moment when
they shall be summoned to the Beatific Vision.
In order to esteem rightly the consolations of

262 St. Peter's Church, Bournemouth.
Purgatory a man must be a Catholic and he must
believe in God as a Catholic believes. He must
believe every article of the Creed in that sense in
which the Church teaches it. He must not, I
saw, attach his own meaning to the words, " The
Communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins."

We were away from home when that great
sorrow came to us. We did not feel equal to>
returning at once to Clifton. We went for two
months to Bournemouth. There we lived in
one of those little thatched cottages of which
the place at that time was mainly composed..
This cottage was close to St. Peter's Church.
That church was not then so grand as it is at
present. There was as yet no large town to
shut out the lovely view of the sea and to mar
the peacefulness of the pretty churchyard. There
were services twice every day, and these we
never failed to attend. I found comfort in having
fixed times for public prayer. The church, being
open morning and evening, afforded opportunities
for solitude which I could seldom obtain else
where. In my mother's deep affliction I could
not possibly add to her grief by any display of
Roman tendencies. I tried to think that perhaps-
some satisfactory way of getting on in the English
Church might open out, and that I might lead a
useful life, and might get a great deal of good
where I was. At any rate, I was determined in

The Immaculate Conception. 263
real earnest to make the best of whatever helps
the English Church afforded to the spiritual life.
As a guide to the profitable spending of
Advent, I had Avrillon's Meditations, the transla
tion edited by Dr. Pusey. To the meditation for
the 8th of December Dr. Pusey appended a note
in which he adduced St. Augustine's authority for
the Immaculate Conception. This note I found
it useful to quote whenever that doctrine was
disputed. The definition had just been published
and there was much discussion on the subject.
The newspapers were uttering blasphemies.
Bishop Wilberforce, I think it was, who
affirmed that unless Mary had been born in
original sin our Lord could not have really taken
our human nature, and that the dogma of the
Immaculate Conception did away with the
Incarnation. What he said sounded deep. Some
unreflecting people thought that it was true.
I was glad to observe that St. Augustine and
Dr. Pusey did not agree with Dr. Wilberforce.
Dr. Pusey indeed did not commit himself very
decidedly. The feast of the Conception of the
Blessed Virgin Mary is retained in the English
Calendar, and this no doubt encouraged him to
agree with St. Augustine, that the Blessed Mother
of God should be excepted where there was
question of sin.
It was from Mr. Upton Richards, who paid us
a visit at Bournemouth, that we first heard that

264 Mr. Dean's Secession.
Mr. Dean had given up his much-loved living of
Lewknor and his fellowship at All Souls', and that
he had followed his friends, Mr. Wynne and Arch
deacon Wilberforce, into the Church of Rome. It
was, indeed, a tremendous sacrifice for Mr. Dean
to make. Lewknor was within easy reach of
Oxford and London, and it suited him so perfectly.
To him, in his infirm state of health, the homeless-
ness and the poverty which he had now to face
must have been no slight trial. I spoke before of
his wit and his unconventionality. It must not be
supposed that these qualities prevented him from
gaining the hearts of his parishioners. Years
afterwards, one of these, whose life had been a
life of sickness and suffering, spoke with the
greatest gratitude of his having taught her the
practice of spiritual communion. A paralytic
stroke which he had when quite a young man pre
vented Mr. Dean from taking Holy Orders in the
Catholic Church. It used to vex me to know how
he and such as he were misjudged, and how the
noble surrender for conscience' sake of all that
had made this world bright to them, was ignored.
Because they were debarred from ministry in the
Roman Catholic Church they were spoken of as
men who had gone back after having put their
hands to the plough.
During this winter I kept a sort of spiritual
diary. The better thoughts in this diary were
suggested by either books or sermons. Thus
having been favoured with a glimpse at such a

The Science of holy Living. • 265
work as Rodriguez' On Christian Perfection, I
remark that "the saints looked upon the Christian
life as a trade that had to be learnt, and learnt as
other trades are, with much diligence, with great
•watchfulness, with many failures, little by little.
They have written books on the art of holy living
containing the most minute directions how to
acquire each virtue — humility, charity, purity of
intention, confidence in God, &c. To them the
spiritual life was a reality, not a vague idea, as it
is alas ! with the generality of men. Perhaps this
is what strikes us most in reading the Lives of
the Saints — that we had no idea before to what
our baptismal vows pledge us. Spirituality had
seemed an abstraction, not a reality. We had
not thought of it as a science ; a science that
must be gradually learnt as other sciences 'are,
with labour and study, and a science too which it
is necessary that all should learn. The impression
I often get from sermons is that a religious life
consists in pious feelings and aspirations — a
vague something — not a system with rules by
which a man may test himself and ' prove ' his
own heart. To say at the end of the day that
we are miserable sinners is one thing : to name
the specific acts by which we know ourselves to
be miserable sinners is another."
January 21, 1855.— "There is no truth that
Archer Butler in his sermons insists on more
frequently, and with greater earnestness, than

266 Preparation for Heaven.
the extreme value of every moment. This follows
from the fact that what we make ourselves here,
that we must be for ever ; that the characters we
bear with us out of this world will continue in
their ultimate tendency to all eternity. The
habits we shall need in the other world must be
formed here, habits of union with God, of con
formity to His will, of charity to our fellows. We
could not enjoy Heaven unless we first loved
holiness here. The happiness of Heaven would
not be happiness to us, unless in the praise and
service of God on earth we found our greatest
joy. And this thought may lead us to know our
own selves better ; for we may deceive ourselves
in many points, but we can hardly delude our
selves into believing that we find happiness in an
employment which is in reality wearisome and
distasteful to us."
March 24, 1855. — " One of my favourite prayers
is the prayer that asks for 'a right judgment
in all things.' I suppose that the difficulties
which arise from conflicting duties are part of
our probation here, and that we ought not to
complain because the right path seems at times
so doubtful and obscured as to make it almost
impossible for us to determine which it is. It
seems that the more anxious we are to do what
is right, the more perplexities we prepare for
ourselves. And then complications arise which
require an immediate solution. I have no time

The Prophet Zechariah' s Vision. 267
to reflect on what is best to be done and I find I
have done what I had better not have done. I
don't know which makes me most uncomfortable,
being undecided, or feeling that I have decided
hastily and perhaps wrongly. Oh ! for a right
judgment." The following thoughts were suggested by a
sermon which I heard Mr. Woodford preach :
" It is strange how. little some parts of the
Bible are studied by many who profess the greatest
reverence for the Bible, and who claim to derive
their system of religious belief exclusively from
the Bible. This may go far to account for the
differences of religious opinion which are met
with amongst those who all agree in appealing
to the inspired Word of God as their authority.
The Prophecy of Zechariah may be cited as a
portion comparatively very little studied. Yet
this Book is found to contain very important
evidence for the truth of doctrines often denied
in the present day. It shows that God carries
on His government of the world through the
ministrations of angels, and that the angels
intercede with God for men. It teaches the
personality of the evil spirit, &c. The vision
recorded in the third chapter is applicable, not
only to the Jewish nation as it then was, but, in
a wider sense, to the Church Catholic. Take
the first verse : ' The High Priest standing before
the Angel of the Lord and Satan standing at his

268 Satan's Method of Warfare.
right hand.' Have we not here an explanation
of all the striving and counter-striving, all the
efforts for the spread of Christianity, and the
reason why those efforts should have been so
often frustrated ; why, in spite of the internal
evidences for the truth of the doctrine of Christ,
in spite of its adaptation to the wants of mankind,
it should at the end of eighteen hundred years
not be professed even outwardly by half of the
human race ?
" In its immediate adaptation, the vision of
Zechariah represented the Jewish Church as
personified by Joshua the High Priest. The
position of the adversary must not pass un
noticed. Not in direct antagonism, not face to
face as it were, did the author of evil carry on
his work. Satan standing at his right hand is
not an unapt description of the position the
fallen spirit usually assumes in his conflict with
the powers of Heaven. It was so in the re
building of the Jewish Temple, when, not open
enemies, but false friends hindered the work of
God. Internal, rather than external, causes —
faithlessness within, rather than the pressure of
force from without — the craft of Satan prompting
the growth of self-deceit-, blinding the reason and
the conscience, subtlely sowing the seeds of dis
union, persecuting and outwardly opposing the
truth only so long as his suggestions seemed to
meet with no answer from within, — has not this
been the history of his working in the Church of

Ephraim joined unto Idols. 269
Christ ? Is it not so now ? When through faith
we behold Jesus, the Great High Priest, still
interceding, still offering Himself before the
throne of the Father, is there not one always at
work, plotting continually how he may frustrate
every scheme, how he may ruin every soul for
which that sacrifice is offered, how he may make
every prayer fruitless, every grace but an occasion
for deeper condemnation ? Is not Satan still
standing at his right hand ? "
Among the sermons that we heard Mr. Wood
ford preach, was one (afterwards published in his
volume entitled, Occasional Sermons) on the misery
of being forsaken by God. " Ephraim is joined
unto idols; let him alone." Mr. Woodford main
tained that the idolatry of the Israelites of old
found its counterpart in the heresy, the schism,
and the false doctrine of our own day. " What,"
he said, "are the diverse creeds shouted on every
side, the diverse doctrines taught in every street,
but the groves of men's planting, to the neglect
of the temple of the Lord, — the idols of men's
own hearts, in place of God's truth once for all
delivered to the saints ? Wilfulness and im
patience of old took the shape of idolatry ; they
now wear the form of heresy and separation and
divisions. It was a zeal for religion which pros
trated Israel at the footstool of idols; it is zeal
without knowledge which makes men forsake the
Catholic faith for crude theories of their own."
He went on to speak of the punishment. " Indeed,

2 70 Rejection of Episcopacy in Germany;
indeed, all vengeance is concentrated in the few
words, ' let him alone ! ' ' Let him alone ! ' it is
as if it was proclaimed that idolatry would prove
its own punishment; that so sure, so inevitable
would be the miserable consequences of forsaking
the true God, or corrupting His worship, that it
needed no further outbreak of wrath to vindicate
the honour of the Almighty."
This lesson was a lesson of very wide appli
cation. It did not only concern those who had
forsaken God altogether and ceased to fear and
obey Him. It implied " more, much more than
this. We argue," Mr. Woodford said, " that you
cannot drop a single doctrine of the Catholic
faith without that doctrine, sooner or later,
avenging itself. Let the truth of God be marred
in ever so slight a degree, and vast injury must
follow. For a long time matters will go on as
usual, but eventually evil will result. A Church
may, for the sake of peace, compromise some
principle, state ambiguously some point of faith.
For a while no harm will ensue. By-and-bye,
however, even man's eye will be able to detect
the pernicious consequences. Take an instance.
A large portion of Germany, at the period of the
Reformation, rejected Episcopal government,
and allowed men to touch the sacraments who
had not received the imposition of hands from
Bishops of the Apostolical Succession. To many
good men at the time it seemed a matter of little
moment, a mere point of discipline. Episcopacy

Consequences that' ensued. 271
was, however, an ordinance of God ; and mark
the consequences of rejecting it. The reformed
congregations of Germany have declined more
and more from what is called the orthodox faith.
The country is over-run with a wretched intellec-
tualism. The inspiration of the Bible begins to
be questioned ; the Deity of Christ to be denied ;
the miracles of the Holy Ghost to be explained
away. Apostolical order was repudiated three
centuries ago, and it has terribly avenged itself.
And this is an exact illustration of the text. It
needs not that the Almighty should perpetually
step in by visible judgments to uphold His cause ;
any more than in the physical world it is requisite
for Him to interfere again and again in the pro
duction of different events. He has implanted
in matter certain properties — certain laws of
motion. These properties and laws do His
pleasure and accomplish unerringly His will. It
is so with religion. To every doctrine He has
given its own power: if used aright, for salvation;
if neglected, for destruction. Let a man or a
nation cast scorn upon that doctrine, or refuse
to receive it, and it shall not need that the
thunder should roll to speak God's wrath, or the
windows of Heaven be open as when the flood
of waters rushed down. Truth neglected will
make itself felt. There will ensue to the negligent,
a slow but sure decline in all holiness and know
ledge and consolation. Eager spirits may thirst
for speedy retribution, and marvel at what appears

272 A frightening Thought.
the delay of judgment. But equally certain will
be the penalty, and more terrible, if in place of
at once stretching out His arm, God lets matters
take their course, saying in His place of judgment
to those who follow their own devices, as to
Ephraim of old : ' He is joined unto idols, let
alone ! ' "
It was a frightening thought and a true one,
fearfully true. This was what gave power to
Mr. Woodford's preaching — that he often incul
cated Catholic truth with such force that it sank
deep into hearts prepared to receive it. The
weak point was that he did not see how that
truth might be turned against himself. He spoke
as a Catholic priest might have spoken about
keeping the faith whole and entire, and he over
looked the fact that in order to keep the faith
whole and entire, there must be a living, infallible
voice to declare what that faith was. All that
he said about the rejection of Episcopacy in
Germany applied equally to the rejection of the
authority of the Apostolic See in England. And
must not the judgment which he denounced on
any religious body which for the sake of peace
consented to an ambiguous statement of an article
of faith, descend on that Church which permitted
the doctrine of Baptismal Regeneration to be
regarded as an open question ?
Again, on another occasion,1 Mr. Woodford
1 Occasional Sermons, " Dimensions and Proportions of the
Church," p. 120.

The Mystery of the Gospel. 273
argued that to believe comprehended a vast deal.
" If I am exhorted to believe, I ask, In what am
I to believe ? If the reply is, Believe in Christ,
I inquire further, What is it to believe in Christ?
and then the right answer must be, that to believe
in Christ is to hold fast all those multiplied
doctrines and principles which constitute the
system of the Christian Church. . . . Oh ! "
he continued, " you cannot shave and pare away
God's revelation. The man who upholds depen
dence upon Christ, but denies the necessity of
good works, does he believe the Gospel ? The
man who maintains the Personality and efficacy
of the Holy Ghost, but denies or scorns the
ministrations of angels, does he believe the
Gospel? The man who clings to the idea of
personal sanctification, but ignores the necessity
of Church communion, does he believe the
Gospel ? "
Then referring to those who urged that to insist
on dogma was to do away with the simplicity of
the Gospel of Christ, he asked, What was the
profit of simplicity if it were got by taking a part
and not the whole? "The simplicity of the
Christian religion is not, we are bold to say,
deducible from the New Testament. I find there
a great deal about the ' mystery of godliness,' but
nothing about this simplicity. I read of the
'mysteries of the Kingdom of Heaven,' 'the
mystery of His will,' 'the mystery of Christ,'
'the mystery of the Gospel, the mystery of
s

274 Character of the Apostles' Teaching.
faith.' I find an Apostle declaring that he
spoke 'the wisdom of God in a mystery.' The
whole tenor of the Epistles and discourses of
all the Apostles, is what might be expected
from men who felt themselves charged with
a burden of dread tidings, proclaimers of un
fathomable depths, entrusted with 'the secret
ofthe Lord.' There is nothing off-hand in their
delineations of their Master's Faith, nothing short
and summary in their manner of instructing their
converts into His communion. Rather we should
say, did they feel themselves wanderers within
the walls of a fabric whose grandeur baffled all
their faculties, whose foundations were laid too
deep for them to discover, whose battlements
were lost in clouds which their eyes could not
pierce. Rather in receiving proselytes do they
seem to have acted as though admitting them to
stand where shadows and darkness would ever
roll around them, the necessary accompaniments
of the Divine Presence ; where their ears should
be filled with unspeakable words, and their
thoughts wafted to wondrous visions, ever on the
stretch to 'comprehend,' if possible, 'with all
saints the breadth, and length, and depth, and
height.' "
These extracts from Mr. Woodford's published
sermons give an idea of the force of his language
and of how bold he was in his enunciation of
dogma. During the Holy Week of 1855, he gave six
lectures on the latter part of the Creed. Of these

The Holy Catholic Church. 275
I wrote my recollections. In the second lecture,
speaking of the words, " the Holy Catholic
Church," following immediately on our declaration
of belief in the Holy Ghost, he showed how the
connection between these two articles of faith
was not an arbitrary connection, but a result of the
truth that to the Holy Spirit the Church owed its
beginning, as it still owes its continued existence.
No one who had read the Gospels and the Acts,
could help acknowledging the difference between
the two in this one respect, that whilst in the
one, believers were spoken of individually, as it
were, in the other they were regarded collectively,
as forming one body, one society. Up to the
Day of Pentecost, the Apostles waited as their
Lord had commanded. They made no effort to
propagate their faith ; but no sooner had the
promised Spirit come, than Peter lifted up his
voice and three thousand souls were added to
the Church.
The fact that belief in the Holy Catholic
Church is declared in the same formulary in
which we profess our belief in the Father, the
Son, and the Holy Ghost, proved that it could
be no mere human society for the existence of
which our faith was demanded. If we asked our
fellow-countrymen what they meant when they
declared their belief in the Holy Catholic Church,
the answer of the majority would be that they
meant by the Church the whole congregation of
believers in Christ dispersed throughout the world.

276 St. John's Vision of the Church.
In other words, they believe that there are
Christians in the world, for this is what their
idea comes to, a fact which no man could possibly
doubt, and to recognize which, therefore, needs
no faith.
There was a deep mystery evidently involved in
the being of the Church. It was no work of earth,
no kingdom of this world. Prophecy spoke not
falsely when it foretold the glory of the Church
of Christ. The vision which was vouchsafed to
the Beloved Disciple was no unreal vision of the
splendour of the New Jerusalem. It might be that
in future ages it was reserved for us to see that
which now could hardly be discerned through a
glass darkly: that sight should take the place
of faith, and we should then indeed behold the
Church as faith was now teaching us to believe it.
One Body, because there is only one Head and
one Spirit ; Holy, because it is sanctified by that
Spirit, and not marred by the imperfection of its
members ; Unerring, because it is His voice Who
is the Truth ; Imperishable, because it is sustained
by Him Who is the Life. Individually its members
might err, individually they might fall away, but
error should never prevail against the Church of
Christ as a body, nor could any efforts of man
or of the evil one efface it from the earth.
That this description of the Church could
hardly be made to apply to the " branch " under
whose shadow we were at that time recumbent,
I tried ju*st then to forget. My wish was to put

Mr. Woodford's Sermons. 277
aside controversial thoughts and to feel thankful
at being encouraged and strengthened in Catholic
principles. Mr. Woodford's sermons helped me
a good deal.
He was nevertheless a thorough Anglican, and
was destined in after-years to sit on the Episcopal
Bench. Only one more sermon of his will I
quote — a sermon very consoling to the English
Churchman — preached at the consecration of
St. Michael's Church, Bristol. It was on the
Alliance of Church and State.1 The text was,
" Kings with their armies did flee and were
discomfited, and they of the household divided
the spoil."
It was Mr. Woodford's plan, in most of his
sermons, to start with touching on some topic
irrelevant to the subject on which he intended
mainly to speak. In this one he begins with
an eloquent passage on the influence that our
ancient ecclesiastical edifices possess of awakening
deep emotions and solemn thoughts. But, he
maintained, a building newly dedicated to God
has a power no less impressive. Instead of
looking back to the past, we look onward to the
future, to the many souls who shall there be
regenerated in the waters of Baptism and be
strengthened to the end of time by the Bread
which cometh down from Heaven.
He then passes on to the expediency of the
connection of national Churches with the civil
1 Occasional Sermons, xiv.

278 The Royal Supremacy.
power, and urges that this connection is not only
lawful and expedient, but was the method which
was contemplated by God for the spread of
Christianity after its first promulgation by the
Apostles and their immediate successors. He
considers that the need for miracles ceased when
the civil power lent its aid to the Church. " The
alliance of the Church with the civil power is to
us now in lieu of supernatural gifts. This is the
vantage-ground vouchsafed unto us to occupy.
The miracles which the Founders of the Faith
were enabled to achieve, were the instruments we
consider of hastening this result. The general
and ultimate instrumentality was to be another
gift of God, even that of legal and national
institutions."1 It follows that, "hastily to get
rid of all alliance with earthly rule, is to cast to-
the winds the spoil we have won ; to abandon the
position to which God has led us."2
Considerations such as these, may have recon
ciled even such a valiant defender of the Church's-
prerogatives as was Dr. Woodford, to the Royal
Supremacy, and to the necessity of kneeling before
his Sovereign and repeating that act of homage
wherein the Bishops of the Established Church
acknowledge that they receive their episcopal
power spiritual as well as temporal from Queen
Victoria.3 1 P. 219. a P. 222.
1 Dr. Tait, after being consecrated Bishop of London, thus
describes this ceremony : " I was conducted by Sir George Grey

Alliance of Church and State. 279
Such an acknowledgment renders unto Csesar
much more than the things that are Caesar's. An
alliance between the Ecclesiastical and the Civil
Powers as ordained by God is one thing: the
entire subserviency of the National Church to
Crown and Parliament, such as is the case in
England, is another.
Was the text a happy one as applied to the
Church in question ? " Kings with their armies
did flee and were discomfited, and they of the
household divided the spoil ! " We have read of
Attila and his savage hordes quailing before Leo,
and of that German Emperor who knelt in
penance at Canossa. We know the fate that in
more recent times has befallen other Emperors
who have dared to lift their hands against the'
Vicar of Christ, but, however much spoil may
have been given her to divide, is there any record
into the Queen's closet, a very small room, where I found the
Queen and Prince Albert. Having been presented by Sir George,
I kneeled down on both knees before the Queen, just like a little
boy at his mother's knee. I placed my joined hands between
hers, while she stooped her head so as almost to bend over mine,
and I repeated slowly and solemnly the very impressive words
of the oath which constitutes the Act of Homage. Longley, the
new Bishop of Durham, who had accompanied me, then went
through the same ceremony. He had not escaped so quietly
from the ceremonial when he was consecrated Bishop of Ripon.
His oath was then taken to William IV., and no sooner had he
risen from his knees, than the King suddenly addressed him in
a loud voice thus : * Bishop of Ripon, I charge you, as you shall
answer before Almighty God, that you never by word or deed
give encouragement to those d  d Whigs who would upset the
Church of England.' " {Life of Archbishop Tait, vol. i. p. 206.)

280 Courbon's Instruction on Prayer.
of the Established Church of England having put
to flight discomfited kings with their armies ?
I must not forget to mention a little book which
was given me by Mrs. Cleveland. It helped me
very much — an Instruction on Mental Prayer by
Courbon, in the form of questions and answers.
The translation of this book for members of
the English Church bore the Imprimatur of the
Rev. Upton Richards. It first taught me to
meditate in accordance with a fixed method.
Rules not too elaborate were given for the three
parts of prayer : the preparation — the body of the
prayer — and the conclusion.
Each part consisted of three things. In the
preparation we (i) placed ourselves in the
presence of God ; (2) acknowledged our un-
worthiness ; (3) asked the help of the Holy
Spirit. The body of the prayer was composed of
(1) Adoration, (2) Communion, and (3) Co-opera
tion. 1. Adoration. We considered the subject, as
for instance one of the Divine attributes, or some
portion of the Life of Jesus Christ, or some
virtue, humility, charity, obedience, &c, as mani
fested in our Lord, dwelling on what He said, did,
and thought, with regard to it, making acts of
adoration, love, praise, thanksgiving, joy, &c.
2. Communion. We saw how deficient we
were in the virtue on which we had been medi-

Effect of Mental Prayer. 281
tating, and in our imitation of our Lord. We
made acts of humility. We considered what we
ought to avoid and what we ought to do in order
to be more like Him, most earnestly asking for
the grace we so much needed.
3. Co-operation. In this point we were to
make resolutions in order that we might co
operate in securing the grace for which we had
been asking — resolutions to be carried into effect
at once, having seen what we had to avoid, what
obstacles to overcome, our own utter helplessness
and entire dependence on the mercy of God.
In conclusion we (1) thanked God for the
graces given us in our prayer ; (2) asked pardon
for any faults we had committed during the time
of prayer, and (3) begged that God would bless
our resolutions.
This and other methods of mental prayer taught
us to study very deeply and lovingly the Life of
Jesus Christ from its beginning as an Infant in
Mary's arms to its close when He hung for
three hours on the Cross with Mary standing by.
A new world of contemplation was opened up to
me. To spend a certain portion of every day with
our Lord, His Mother, the Holy Apostles, and
other Saints, made life much more interesting.
I found that by degrees we learn to take their
view, to listen to their words, and to be ashamed
of having thoughts and desires so very different
from theirs. We would fain become a little less
unlike them.

282 Spiritual Consolations.
By dwelling on the mysteries of our Lord's
Life with a resolute will to imitate Him in their
measure, many who are outside the pale of the
Visible Church find themselves almost uncon
sciously brought into harmony with her ascetical
spirit and system of devotion. These devotions
become, therefore, a source of uneasiness to the
sound Anglican, who regards them as dangerous,
and not in accordance with the sobriety and
moderation of " our " Church.
That Easter-tide of 1855 was a time of much
quiet happiness to me — shall I rather call it
spiritual consolation ? I thus write of this time
in my journal :
"As there are certain days whose influence
may be traced through large portions of after-life,
so also are there weeks when the whole inner life
receives as it were the impress of some one idea
or train of ideas, which when first grasped seems
to open a new world for meditation and con
templation, to shed new light upon the past, to
remove former difficulties, to put life and our own
position in it before us in a totally different point
of view from that in which we have hitherto
regarded it. Such have been the last few weeks,
when the great realities of the Gospel, the
wonderful facts of Christianity, have presented
themselves before me and claimed my love and
adoration in a way that they have hardly ever
done before. God does not often reveal Himself

Sense of a new Responsibility. 283
and His truths so clearly. That He has done so
now is, I know, not from any merit of mine. I
have done nothing to deserve such a grace. It
frightens me to think that it is one responsibility
the more, that I have now to manifest in my
daily life these truths. I have to guard the faith,
that most precious treasure, against the chilling
atmosphere of the world of sense, I have to act
on my convictions and thus deepen them and
plant them so firmly in my heart that they may
never be uprooted. ' Whilst we have light, let us
walk in the light.' ' The night cometh.' Such is
the warning which holy seasons — seasons holy to
us — should ever bring."
Our life at Clifton was now drawing to a close,
and we were beginning to look forward to new
scenes. My brother's health was not strong. It
was thought advisable that he should be removed
from school for a year, at all events. We had,
therefore, no ties to England, and thus a good
opportunity for foreign travel presented itself.
Of this it was decided that we should take
advantage. We were to go first to Switzerland.
We hoped to spend the winter in Rome.

CHAPTER IX.
A Foreign Tour. Morning at Bruges. High Mass in the
Cathedral. Rubens' pictures at Antwerp and Malines. Church
of St. Appolinaris at Remagen. Arrival in Switzerland. Thun.
An earthquake.
Mr. Barker. His ideas and conduct. My brother's letters
from Kandersteg and Weggis. Grindelwald. The churchyard
at Weggis.
Arrival in Italy. Journey from Civita Vecchia. First
impressions of Rome.
I must say a little about our first few months
in foreign lands, as they have some reference to
the subject of my book. Our stay at Rome was
the most important part of this time abroad, not
only in duration, but in its subsequent influence.
A few words, however, on our experiences in
Belgium and Switzerland may not be out of place.
I shall always be grateful for having crossed
the Channel, and for having spent more than two
full years on the Continent whilst I was yet in
my teens. Since then whenever I have found
myself on foreign soil it has been withja feeling
of ever-renewed delight. The first impression
perhaps was one more of bewilderment than of
delight. One requires to get a little accustomed
to travelling and to the novelty of the life alto
gether, before one can thoroughly enjoy it. I

Morning at Bruges. 285
found, nevertheless, something to enjoy even in
our tea at the Lord Warden, and in our five or
six hours in the steamer from Dover to Ostend,
in a very early landing at the latter place, and
in the railway journey to Bruges which followed.
At this quaint old city, our first morning abroad
was spent. They are an early folk in Belgium.
They were up and doing long before we generally
think of rising. On this occasion we had nothing
more comfortable than a cabin's berth to rise
from. We had time to see a good deal before
eleven o'clock. At that hour I returned to the
Cathedral. There was to be a grand function
there. This of course I was anxious not to miss.
The Catholic's Vade Mecum had been recom
mended by Mrs. Cleveland as a convenient little
book to take abroad to enable us to follow the
services. I had this book with me that day at
Bruges, when for the first time I found myself
present at High Mass. I had studied the service
before and I was a little disappointed at not being
able to make out what was going on. Had I
been present at the beginning of Mass I might
have found it easier to follow. After a time,
however, I happily caught the words, Orate fratres.
This enabled me to find my place and to join in
the more solemn part. I put down in my diary
that evening : " Much as I liked it, I shall like it
better another time. Some would call it a very
formal service. To me it suggests the immense
importance of Divine worship."

286 Belgian Towns.
Next morning I spent some time in the Cathe
dral at Antwerp, and I wrote it down that I
assisted at a Low Mass and felt much happier
than I had done the day before, as I could follow
it better. On St. Peter's day, when we heard
High Mass in the Cathedral at Aix-la-Chapelle, I
began to feel a great deal more at home.
Besides my brother and his tutor, Mr. Barker,
Oswald and his wife were with us on our leaving
England. We were a merry party. Even
Oswald had to unbend at times and to join in the
general hilarity. But, as usual, the improvement
of his own mind and of our minds was his first
object. He was intent on our seeing everything
that there was to be seen. We lionized more
of these Belgian towns than could be done quite
conveniently in the time, making little journeys
by railway, alighting with our guide-books, visiting
the churches and other buildings of interest,
seeing all that we should see, and then going on
to another place to begin again. This way of
proceeding was more pleasing to me than to
Olivia, who easily got fatigued.
Of my first experiences abroad I gave an
account in this letter to my aunt.
" I have so enjoyed these few days. I wish I
could tell you all about them. I have felt so up
to all the sight-seeing and never too much tired.
Getting a good sleep in the steamer was a great
advantage. It enabled me to enjoy Bruges, ' the

Rubens Pictures. 287
belfry brown and old,' the quaint buildings and
Memling's pictures so much more than the others
could. " We spent two nights at Antwerp, and I should
have been glad of a longer time there. Rubens'
pictures are magnificent. I care for them much
more than I expected to do. The specimens of
his paintings one sometimes sees are often so
coarse. But in these there is such real deep feel
ing, and wonderful imagination combined with
the most glorious colouring, that I think I hardly
ever enjoyed any pictures so much."
" I am writing in the station at Aix-la-Chapelle,
waiting for the train to Cologne. We spent two
hours yesterday morning at Malines, a most
picturesque town. In the Church of St. John
is a magnificent altar-piece by Rubens — 'The
Adoration of the Magi " — with scenes from the
lives of St. John the Baptist and St. John the
Evangelist on each side. I particularly liked
the painting of St. John writing his Gospel. He
is represented gazing upwards whilst he writes.
In the Cathedral is Vandyke's celebrated picture
of the Crucifixion. The interior of the Cathedral
was too white for my taste. The music in the
Church of Notre Dame was beautiful. A Requiem
was being sung. I find that visiting these
churches is very conducive to a good state of
mind. One sees so many worshippers in every
church. The poor and the old are thoroughly at

288 St. Appolinaris.
home there. They go in to pray when no service
is going on. Religion seems to be mixed up with
everything. I have not yet seen anything to
shock me, which you prophesied would be the
case in a Popish country.
" I could say much about the Cathedral at
Cologne, but as you have seen it I need not
expatiate on its beauty. We were glad not to
sleep in that city. A short railway journey took
us to Bonn for the night.
" The next morning, after an expedition up the
Drachenfels on donkeys, we drove along the banks
of the Rhine to Remagen. Here is the Church
of St. Appolinaris. This we had been recom
mended to see — a new church, small, and built in
the shape of a cross. It contains frescoes by
Deger, the Midlers, and Ittenbach. Those repre
senting the Crucifixion, the Resurrection, and the
Ascension, are very beautiful. There are scenes
also from the life of St. Appolinaris. We were told
that St. Appolinaris was one of the very early
saints. He was ordained by St. Peter, and there
are many legends about him.
" I am writing now from Frankfort. Our plan
is to go on to Heidelberg to-morrow, to stay
there a day or two, and then to proceed to Basle
and Thun.
" Our journey up the Rhine was very pleasant.
We employed ourselves on the boat in reading

Arrival in Switzerland. 289
legends of all the places that we passed. These
legends were in German poetry. They were
mostly about beautiful maidens and disconsolate
knights. Mr. Barker is very anxious to acquire
the German language. These poems will hardly
help him to converse with the natives.
Pray impress upon Mr. Cleveland that we
thoroughly appreciate all the beautiful things that
we see. He need not have distressed himself
with the idea that we were missing all the Belgian
towns. We saw Bruges, Antwerp, Malines, and
Liege. " Malleray, July 12, 1855.
"Now we are in Switzerland. For the first
time since we left England we are passing a night
in the country at a little village half way between
Basle and Berne. . . . Yesterday we left Heidel
berg. The railroad to Basle passed through very
beautiful scenery. For a while we could see in the
distance the long line of the Vosges Mountains,
and on the left the mountains of the Black Forest.
The lights were so lovely. The evening was most
delicious. We stayed out till ten on the balcony
overhanging the Rhine in the hotel at Basle, and
at nine this morning we set off. ' A rainy cloud
possessed the earth,' so we had reluctantly to
close our carriages. Fortunately in the afternoon
when we came to the most beautiful part of the
Val Moutiers, there was a temporary cessation.
The coverings of the carriages were removed
and oh! the scenery was so splendid — the high
T

290 Delights and Drawbacks of Journeys.
rocks and the stream (the course of which we
followed all the way) rushing through the narrow
valley, with delicious waterfalls every now and
then, and the foliage so bright and varied. I
don't think it lost anything by the gloominess of
the weather. I hope it will be fine to-morrow, as
if it is clear we expect to see snow mountains.
Olivia is much delighted at the prospect of being
settled and getting into a fresh dress. She does
not like the limpness and the dustiness which
journeys, especially railroad journeys, involve.
Yesterday our appearance in the train struck her
as an illustration of the hymn,
Where every prospect pleases
And only man is vile.
The voiture method of journeying is much more
attractive, and Olive is much pleased to have left
the old towns behind her — those dear old towns
which I enjoyed so immensely. However, they
are very small in comparison with these grand
passes through which we passed to-day. These
seem to me a revelation of the power and grandeur
and beauty of God such as ought to make us
much better. I do feel thankful for to-day and
yesterday. " This is a dear little inn, and we have settled
ourselves very comfortably. Now I ought to be
going to bed, as we got up at six this morning
and do so again to-morrow, but I am not a bit
tired." ¦

A studious Fellow-Traveller. 291
" Berne, Friday evening.
"We have had a most exquisite day for our
journey, the sun so ardently hot. We went
through such splendid passes, hardly more
beautiful than those we saw yesterday, but the
sunshine made them bear a different aspect.
And then as we approached Berne the line of the
Bernese Alps broke upon us. It was not a clear
day, but we could see their white tops more like
clouds than mountains. Then we watched the
rosy tints which the setting sun cast on them
till they faded away, and only a white streak
could faintly be traced. We came in to tea at
nine. I like the Swiss breakfasts and teas, and
we all have good appetites. How scornful Oswald
would look at my mentioning this !
"You cannot think how indefatigable Mr. Barker
is in learning German. This occupation engrosses
him all day. His dictionary is hardly ever out
of his hand. When we were going through that
magnificent scenery he was actually studying
Ollendorff! Now I must conclude. Mother
would be grieved if she knew that I had been
sitting up finishing my letter. It is a great
delight to get up at six o'clock. This is the
Swiss habit." " Thun, July 18, 1855.
" We are much enjoying our time here ; it is
such a lovely place, and it is pleasant to be settled
for a little while. To-day the snow mountains
are wonderfully clear and bright. Yesterday they

292 Occupations at Thun.
were enveloped with clouds, but the nearer
mountains were of an intense blue. The sunsets
have been so glorious. I hope you often think of
us. I expect the time will go very quickly, and
that it will not seem long before we are again
walking together at Lystone.
" I am writing out of doors. Charlie and
Mr. Barker are in a neighbouring summer-house
' studying,' Charlie looking very resigned. I don't
think that he objects to his lessons, and it is a
comfort that he and Mr. Barker get on so welh
The latter is much amused at his jokes. We
had a German lesson this morning. This enter
tainment is to be repeated every day whilst we
are here.
" You have not mentioned how you like West
ward Ho ! I wish you would do so. Say, too,
whether it would be a nice book for your nieces,
and quite as suited to them as Hypatia. We may
be able to procure a foreign edition of it for a
very small sum. Olivia has met with a copy of
Yeast, and has been perusing it again. She is
fonder of Kingsley than ever. Mr. Barker has
not read Kingsley's works, but he made the
remark that if what he had heard was true,
Kingsley was not at all a sound man. Who
ever would think of accusing Kingsley of being
sound ?
" Olivia is gone to sketch in the churchyard,
from whence there is a beautiful view. I enjoy
the repose of our life here. We breakfast at eight.

Profit derived from Sketching. 293
This gives us a good long day, which we spend
for the most part out of doors, well occupied I
hope. We are studying languages. I want to
get up as much as I can about Italy before we go
there. I am trying to sketch. Sketching is un
satisfactory, inasmuch as it is so impossible to do
any sort of justice to what one tries to represent,
especially when the subjects are so good as they
are here. However, sketching does one good,
not only as an exercise in humility, but in im
pressing these beautiful scenes on the memory,
and making one observe a great deal more than
one would otherwise do." " Thun, July 27, 1855.
" Olivia will have thanked you for your ' inju
dicious ' epistle, which however was very pleasant.
There will be nothing very special in my letter
to-day. It will be merely a talk such as we used
to have when walking through the woods at
Lystone, or when going to St. John the Baptist's
at Bristol. I like to look back on that fortnight
when you were at Clifton. We had so many nice
talks. There are certain times which leave — one
can't exactly tell why — a soothing and pleasant
recollection. That is one of those times !
" You would have been in a great fright if you
had been here the last two days. It was on
Wednesday morning about one o'clock (a very
rainy day, so every one was indoors, and Olivia
and I were sitting upstairs on our respective

294 -d-n Earthquake.
beds), that a slight trembling in the room took
place, suggesting the cabin of a steamboat.
It however increased, and the whole house
seemed to be tottering. I can't describe the
sensation. The idea of an earthquake instantly
came into my mind. We immediately flew to the
door, as did simultaneously all the inhabitants of
the house. Simultaneously also we all rushed'.
downstairs. The shaking was over, however, by
the time we got to the bottom. You can hardly
imagine what a strange sight it was. Every one
had instinctively made his or her exit from the
house. I never before witnessed such a collection
of deadly pale faces, bereft of every atom of
colour. It really was a very awful sensation, and
one which I think no one could imagine who had
not experienced it. Our rooms were at the top,.
so that it was the more unpleasant to feel the
whole house rocking about, and that there might
at any moment be a repetition ofthe shock, which
would occasion the walls to give way. We
dreaded this more at night. Some one propounded
a theory that the earthquake would probably be
repeated in twelve hours, i.e., at one o'clock in
the night. Many of us therefore did not go entirely
to bed until after that hour. That was Wednesday
night, but no fright happened till the next
morning about ten o'clock, when we were having
our German lesson, and again upstairs. The
shock was much less severe, and people did not
seem nearly so alarmed. However, we spent the

Its Effect. 295
day out of doors as much as possible, and there
was another still slighter shock about two in the
afternoon. These upheavings of the earth pro
duce the uncomfortable sensation that one has
after being on a steamer, as though everything
were moving. I slept very well ; many people
were in a highly nervous state, and remained
awake. But as there are, I believe, no rules for
earthquakes, if one sat up one night one might as
Well do so for the rest of one's life. There is
no getting out of the reach of their influence, for
in removing from one place you may but get
nearer the centre of the agitation. The shock
was very severely felt at Interlachen. The side of
one of the hotels cracked, and some chimneys
fell down. I am very glad we were not there.
" It strikes me that I need not have said I had
nothing special to tell you. That observation
referred to travels and to sight-seeing. We have
not been moving about at all during the past
fortnight. Our stay here has been very quiet,
but very enjoyable. We all feel rather sorry to
be leaving Thun to-morrow. We are to go to
Kandersteg till Monday, and see some unspellable
places near the Ghemmi. We propose going to
Interlachen on Tuesday for a week, and from
thence to the Lake of Lucerne.
" Dr. Pusey's son is here with Mr. and Mrs.
Donkin. Mr. Donkin is Professor of Astronomy
at Oxford. Both are very pleasant. Poor
Mr. Pusey is quite a cripple and deaf, but he has

296 A Twilight Scene.
wonderful spirits. I am glad we have met them,
and they are coming to Kandersteg to-morrow.
Mr. Donkin says that an earthquake was felt in
Wales last year, something of this sort, and that
nothing came of it. I believe that an eruption of
Hecla has been going on. Not long ago there
was a dreadful earthquake in Turkey. The earth
seems in a very disquieted state.
" Did you get to church on St. James's day.
That festival recalls a beautiful sermon I heard
Mr. Woodford preach on the text, ' We are able.'
The impression that it left still remains. The last
words of it especially I have always remembered:
' A strong will and a sure confidence — these will
lead you through the dark waters to the haven
where you would be.' Do you know how some
times a sentence that one hears by chance seems
to convey a special message to oneself? It is the
same, too, with beautiful pictures or scenery. The
other evening when it was getting quite dark I sat
down on a little hill which overlooked the quiet
lake and the mountains beyond, and the far-away
white peaks — such a perfect picture of stillness
it was, almost awful in the depth of its repose.
And then I turned to look in the opposite direc
tion. There below me lay the little town with
the surrounding landscape, and mountains also,
but smaller mountains. The last tints of the
sunset were still lingering in the sky, and there
came up the sound of distant voices, the hum of
busy life— a great contrast to the other scene,

Oswald's Friend, Mr. Barker. 297
although it, too, was beautiful. It suggested how
from the noise and weariness, and also from the
attractions of this life, we may turn to those
Divine truths, dim and shadowy to us here, but
real and enduring as are the everlasting hills, and
find in them the true rest, the only real repose
for our souls. With these pious thoughts, I
conclude." Mr. Barker, mentioned in the preceding letters,
came abroad with us as tutor to my brother. He
had been recommended by Oswald. We were,
therefore, disposed to like him. In the event
he proved very tiresome. Even before we left
Clifton, a letter that mother received from him
showed that he was a good deal wanting in
sense. He was engaged to instruct a youth of
sixteen in Latin and Greek, and in other branches
of knowledge. As he was a clergyman, he chose
to consider himself bound in addition to exercise
supervision over that youth's mother and sisters,
and to preserve them from Romish error. He
wrote to mother, that he thought it would be
well that we should have some rules to limit
our intercourse with any Roman Catholics whom
we might meet with abroad, and that certain
principles should be laid down with regard to our
frequentation of foreign churches. The letter
perturbed mother. She consulted Mr. Woodford.
He made the sensible remark that he did not
see how we could limit our intercourse with

298 Mr. Barker's Suggestions.
Roman Catholics. How could we say that we
might know ten, but that we must not know
twenty, or that we might see one church in a city,
but not another, or that we might be present
once a day at a service but not twice ? Anxious
to have the authority of Mr. Woodford to quote,
and knowing what was the practice of that
eminent divine himself when he was abroad, I
asked him whether he did not think that it was
quite right to attend Roman Catholic churches
on the Continent. After a moment's hesita
tion, he replied by another question : " What
do you mean by quite right ? " " I mean," I said,
" exactly what the words imply. I mean, for
instance, that in Belgium and in Italy, where we
are going, it would be the right thing to attend
Mass." "You would certainly not hear any
thing you could disapprove," was the rejoinder.
Perhaps nothing less evasive was to be expected
from an Anglican clergyman. Mr. Woodford
deprecated Mr. Barker's idea that we were to
be in alarm with regard to the influence which
Rome would have on us. He thought it absurd
to make any such rules as fussy little Mr. Barker
was so anxious should be adopted.
Mr. Barker appeared just as anxious to make
acquaintance with Catholic churches as we did.
After those first few days in Belgium there was,
however, no opportunity of doing so for some
time. We were destined on several Sundays to
enjoy to the full the privilege of Mr. Barker's

His Conduct on the Continent. 299
ministrations. He would have wished always to
have officiated himself, and not to have attended
the English services, which even then were held
in most places of popular resort in Switzerland.
In this we did not encourage him. When we
were at some place out of the reach even of the
ubiquitous British chaplain, he used to engage
the public salon, and put up a notice that service
would be conducted by the Rev. T. Barker.
This made us feel very British, a quality which
we were most anxious should not be ours.
He was bent on acquiring the German tongue.
In season and out of season he would pursue his
studies. He purchased a set of small dictionaries.
These he always carried about, and brought even
to meals. At the table d'hote we used to watch
him looking out a word. Then he would reflect,
and after a few minutes he would venture on a
sentence to some native of Germany who might
happen to be within reach. We could always tell
the word that had been looked out ! We were
much affronted at his habit of carrying on his
studies while taking his breakfast. This was no
less aggravating than was his engrossing himself
with Ollendorff's grammar when we were passing
through the most magnificent scenery. I described
him to my aunt as " one of those men who provoke
one to say rather wicked things."
We spent the remainder of the summer in
Switzerland. After our visit to Interlachen, we
stayed for some time on the grand Lake of

300 Mr. Barker's Pupil.
Lucerne. When it became rather chilly there,
we inoved to the Lake of Geneva on our way to
Italy. My brother Charlie's predilection was for
large hotels like those at Interlachen, or the
Hotel Byron, near Villeneuve. He did not so
much enjoy the retired places, which were more
suitable for his studies. He got on, however,
very well with Mr. Barker ; it would have been
difficult to find any one that Charlie did not get
on with. He was very easy-going, and he took
people as he found them. He made acquaintance
with every one,.and he was supremely happy. He
wrote from Kandersteg, July 30th :
" I enjoyed myself at Thun thoroughly ! I
made acquaintance with all the people in the
Pension, and a nice time we had of it for the last
week. One party I determined to make friends
with as soon as I saw them, and I did !
Mrs. G  and her two daughters. The eldest
daughter was most handsome ; I have hardly
ever seen so sweet an expression of face before.
Her sister was not so pretty, but I liked her
extremely also. There were other people, and
we all amalgamated and had great fun. I was
rather astonished to find that I was known very
well to the G  s by name. Such things do
startle one sometimes, but I am beginning to get
used to them. We used to sit up till twelve
o'clock every night nearly, and play at Conse
quences, and have music and singing, &c. Now

Letter from Kandersteg. 301
don't think that I was always very late in the
morning, for we had breakfast at eight, or a
quarter past, and I was always down in time.
I hope to meet my friends again at Interlachen,
where we go to-morrow. ... Of course mama has
told you all about the earthquakes. We felt four
shocks. I never experienced such a strange
sensation before, and I can assure you that it was
anything but pleasant. Try and imagine yourself
sitting at a table quietly writing. Suddenly you
hear the doors and windows shaking violently, and
you think that it is the wind. But as soon as the
table rises, and the chairs too, and the whole
room moves just like a steamboat, a warm sort
of shiver creeping up your legs, you will then
have some idea of what I felt when the first
shock came.
"We have been to the top of the Gemmi
to-day, and the view was more magnificent than
anything I had yet seen. Of course we passed
over lots of snow. It is about ten miles to the
top. Mr. Barker walked both ways. I rode up
the very steep parts, but walked a good deal.
We were all of us agitating at four o'clock this
morning, but we did not start till nearly six.
This house is wooden, and consequently creaks
horribly, and at first I used to imagine everything
an incipient earthquake."
A little later Charlie wrote from Weggis : " We
are at present in a very beautiful — though very

302 The Lake of Lucerne.
slow — spot, and you may imagine how sorry I
was to part with all my Interlachen friends.
My stock of poetry is rapidly increasing: ideas
flow more quickly than they did at first. I have
also begun to write a novel, and am by degrees
compiling a book called ' Odds and ends.' "
This " slow " spot had sufficiently compensating
charms to make us tarry in it for three or four
weeks. It was indeed beautiful, especially at
sunset, or when the moon rose over the mountains
and cast a long stream of light on the still waters.
We rowed on the lake every evening, landing at
a different place every time, and carrying away
some hasty sketch as a memento. To me this was
more enjoyable than were those long excursions
in which people so often spend their days in
Switzerland. I could not thoroughly participate
in the delights of a mountain expedition. The
exhilarating'air, delicious as it was, did not make
up for the extreme fatigue. I have mournful
remembrances of being ignominiously carried
in a chaise a porteurs over the passes of the
Scheideck and Brunig, and by the glacier of
Rosenla^i, whilst the others were walking or
riding. But one little expedition — a very valorous one
— that Olivia and I made on our own account to
a glacier at Grindelwald, I like to remember. It
was an unique experience. After walking for
more than two hours up the hill by the side of
the glacier, we arrived at the place where we got

A Glacier at Grindelwald. 303
on to it, the path looking somewhat dangerous.
However, we had strong nerves, and alpenstocks,
and a sure-footed guide, and we met with another
man who cut steps for us on the ice, and gave his
assistance when there were narrow ledges to go
over with precipices on each side. It was a
wonderful sight, those sheets of ice, with the
bright sun shining on them and the very blue sky
above. At last we came to our goal — a cavern
down which our guide threw large stones. These
stones seemed to be falling down tremendous
depths, " deep calling unto deep." They made
a sound as of loud thunder inside the earth,
which never seemed to stop, but went on inter
minably. It was as though a way had been
opened into another world, below the surface of
this earth on which our daily commonplace life is
spent. Where should we get to, could we follow
those stones ?
The effect which the sublimity and grandeur of
such scenes should make on the mind was not
here marred by the presence of the tourist. A
night on the Rigi to see the sunset and the
sunrise was a less edifying and a very doubtful
pleasure. It had to be done under the usual
adverse circumstances. Having passed some
chilly hours in rather damp sheets, we had to
hurry out in the morning, only half awake and
very cold, to find some hundred co-tourists
gathered together, looking business-like and un-
romantic, to see the sun rise. Directly they had

304 The Churchyard at Weggis.
" done " it, they hurried into breakfast, well
pleased that it was over. Having duly performed
this duty we were free to remain quietly in our
little house at the foot of the Rigi, unenvious
of the parties that were daily brought by the
steamers to accomplish the ascent.
The people here were Catholics, and I watched
them coming down in crowds to the little church,
which stood in a beautiful situation. I used to
like to sit quite alone in the churchyard and
think. The news of the fall of Sebastopol had
just reached us. I wrote to my aunt :
" September 13.
" I am feeling very sad, knowing how miserable
many must be in their anxiety for definite news
from the East. This time last year comes vividly
before me. Yesterday was the anniversary of the
day we left home. I remember wondering what
would have happened before our return. That
time of trial made me realize the uncertainty of
everything, and how there is one thing only of
real importance. It also awakened in me an
interest in others and a power of sympathy that
I had not had before. I fancy I can always see
now whether people have met with any great
sorrow. Some, indeed, do not seem to have
sufficient depth of feeling to be capable of great
suffering, but one can't tell whether this is the
case. Perhaps their feelings have never been
called forth.

Writings of Isaac Williams. 305
" Mr. Barker has lent me Isaac Williams'
On the Study of the Gospels. Williams quotes the
Fathers, and he suggests a good many thoughts.
His style is not attractive. It is often obscure, and
perhaps there is too much repetition. We must
try to get that humble and child-like spirit which
he observes was characteristic of all to whom our
Lord was pleased to reveal His doctrine. I
suppose that Williams would be thought fanciful
by our friends of the Broad Church party. They
would not admit the idea of there being a mystical
meaning in every word and action, and even in
every look of our Blessed Lord's.
" Mama read me a sermon on ' Things Temporal
and Eternal ' to-day, while I was sketching in the
churchyard. The sermon was much in harmony
with the scene. If only we could look forward to
death, as those saints did who longed for the hour
when they would be free from the possibility of
sinning, when they would no longer be separated
from Him ' Whom having not seen, they loved.'
Such a longing comes, I suppose, to those who
do spend their whole lives in preparing for His
Presence in Heaven by constantly living in His
Presence on earth. I wish I thought more about
these things. Grammars and dictionaries take
up a good deal of my time. How I wish you
were here, sitting with me by the lake, the only
sound being The water lapping on the crag,
And the long ripple rushing 'mid the reeds.
U

306 Journey to Italy.
" I had a very amusing letter from Mrs. Cleve
land, detailing the little tour that they have been
making through many old towns. They think of
starting for Rome about the middle of October,
and going straight to Marseilles, and thence by
sea. This part of the journey Mrs. Cleveland does
not envisage with delight, but she will endure it.
She knows that Mr. Cleveland will be happier
for the rest of his life when he has visited the
tombs of St. Peter and St. Paul ! I am afraid we
shall miss them, unless the cholera subsides and
we are able to go into Italy sooner than we at
present expect to do. " Your affectionate " Minima."
The journey to Rome caused us some anxiety.
It was very different then from what it is in these
days of railroads, and we heard much about
dangers from brigands ! Eventually we decided
on crossing the Alps by the Simplon Pass. Well
do I remember the delight of descending into
Italy. From Domo d'Ossola, our first night's
halting-place, Charlie wrote :
"And now we are really and truly in Italy!
The drive over the Simplon was most delightful.
Would that I could describe its beauties to
you adequately. It is certainly finer than the
St. Gothard, and I have said this about it in my
journal : ' But it would be impossible to describe
the wonders of the Simplon — the magnificent

The Gorge of Gondo. 307
Gorge of Gondo is past all description. How we
went along a road from above which everlasting
glaciers were looking down upon us, how we
passed through great cuttings in the mountain
side, and tunnels in the solid rock, over which
waterfalls were gliding ; how we saw lofty moun
tains of eternal snow and glaciers stealing down
upon the road ; how all the while a roaring torrent
was gushing and foaming far away beneath us,
and how above us was an ethereal sky of the
deepest blue ; all these, I say, it is needless to
relate. Are they not all written in Murray's Hand
book, and may they not there be read ? ' "
" Rome, November 10, 1855.
" Dearest Aunt, — It is rather long since our
last despatch from Spezia, and there ought to be
a great deal to say. First, we are really in Rome
— that seems strange. We were told that we should
be disappointed at first, but I was not at all. It
looked very like what I had imagined, and very
different from any other place. And then the
delight of being at our journey's end was great,
for Rome had begun to seem such an unapproach
able place. We wondered how we should ever
get here, and at the last it seemed to happen so
suddenly, the cause of this being that the weather
permitted us to take the boat at Leghorn, and we
had a beautifully calm passage. Very fortunate
we were, for lately the sea had been something
tremendous, and the night before we arrived at

308 From Civita Vecchia to Rome.
Leghorn was the worst of all. We had to wait a
day or two for the French steamer. We made
use of the time to visit Pisa, where there is much
to see — too much to make a very brief visit any
thing but unsatisfactory.
" We had but a short land journey when once
we arrived at Civita Vecchia. It seems that
people are always anxious to get over their land
journeys through the Papal States as quickly as
possible, and especially to get to their journey's
end before dark. Whether there is any real cause
to fear brigands one can't make out exactly. We
were kept several hours at Civita Vecchia over
custom houses and passports. Although the
boat was in at six, we did not get off before
eleven. We were glad to find that two other
carriages were to accompany us on the road. One
contained three Americans, and the other was
full of Germans. The Americans were very civil
on the boat, and offered mother the vacant place
in their carriage, which she did not accept. Their
vicinity, however, made the road more cheerful and
more safe. We were always glad when we saw any
French gens d'armes about. It was such a lovely
day, and the hills looked so beautiful. These two
days have been occupied in looking for houses,
and settling prosaic matters. We have not even
been to St. Peter's. We have a very sunny apart
ment, the view from which is its great attraction.
It looks all over Rome, and the situation is much
nicer than any other that we saw.

First Days in Rome. 309
" I must not forget to tell you that we had a
glimpse of the Pope to-day. Our carriage sud
denly stopped, and, to our great happiness, the
Pope passed close by in his carriage, drawn by
four beautiful black horses, and surrounded by
military. I hope we shared in Jhe blessings which
he was distributing around. I felt so very glad
to see him." " Rome, November 19, 1855.
" This will not be at all an interesting letter —
I mean not interesting as a letter coming from
Rome should be— because we have hardly been
to see anything yet, or had time to realize the
romance with which we are surrounded. The
many English who are to be seen about, and the
multiplicity of English advertisements stuck up
in the streets, rather tend indeed to obscure the
romance. I expect that mother has been writing
a very dolorous letter, as she has been very ' lone
and lorn ' of late, and discovering that ' every
thing goes contrairy.' This state of things will
not last long however, I hope, as Charlie is getting
better rapidly. Soon we shall get settled and be
able to go and see things, and then we shall all
recover our spirits and our good-humour ! For
myself, I am inclined to be cheerful, though this
week has been somewhat tantalizing. Mama has
not been able to get as much fresh air as she
ought to have, and has been standing about so
much in Charlie's room that she has got tired and
worn. He is really much better, and goes out

310 A Visit to St. Peter's.
driving now regularly, and though much weakened
will, we hope, soon recover his strength.
" I am thinking what I shall tell you about,
and now I remember that I have not written
since we went to St. Peter's. It was some days
before we could go there, but when at last we went
my expectations were fully realized. I cannot
imagine that any other building could give the
same impression. I don't think that I could quite
describe what that impression is. It is one which
must be felt to be understood. Apart from
higher thoughts, there is something very wonder
ful in feeling oneself in the largest and most
magnificent building in the world. At first one
does not realize its vastness, for the proportions
are so exquisite. It is when it is nearly empty, and
when one's eyes rest upon some solitary wanderer,
that one feels ' how small man is in the presence
of religion, even when you are but considering its
material fabric' And then imagine what it is to
stand near the great altar, with its hundred and
twelve lights, and to gaze up into the dome, and
then down again to the crypt beneath, where is the
tomb of the great Apostle ! I feel thankful that
I have been there, and I always have a longing
to go again and again, only I have a dread lest
the feeling that I now have should wear off. But
this I am told will not be the case, and, in fact,
that it is not till after repeated visits that one
can at all take in the grandeur of St. Peter's.
I should like to go there every day. We have

Churches in Rome. 3 1 1
seen very little besides, except the Church of
St. John Lateran, and that only superficially.
Churches in Rome are very different from any
churches that we have been accustomed to see.
I like them very much. Mr. Barker cannot tolerate
any style but the Gothic. He is unable even to
appreciate St. Peter's ! His remarks make us
somewhat indignant. Don't you know how aggra
vating it is to hear any thing or any person that
you reverence very much spoken of in a common
place, and matter-of-fact manner ? I think there
is hardly anything more trying. I hope that it is
not very wrong to be so provoked with people
who say provoking things.
" We saw the Pope again the other day. He
was just leaving the Vatican, and as he passed he
looked into our carriage and gave us his blessing,
which we had all to ourselves ! I was so pleased,
but I should like to see him more satisfactorily.
" It is such an exquisite day, so mild. The
dome of St. Peter's is standing out so beautifully
against the bright blue sky. Such intense clear
ness and brightness of atmosphere one has never
seen in England. I am longing to go to the
Vatican and to the Capitol. We feel in want of
some one very superior, who would come with us
and tell us about everything. I hope some such
person will turn up. " Your most faithful
" Minima."

CHAPTER X.
The varied attractions of Rome. Its highest interests appre
ciable only by the children of the Church. Aggravating
Protestants. Mr. Barker's remarks on St. Peter's. Visits to
various churches. Benediction at the Trinita dei Monti.
Evening parties. The Sistine chapel. Impressions in Santa
Maria Maggiore. Olivia's lines on the grave of Keats.
Visits to the Catacombs. Description of the chapels and
their paintings. Altercation with Mr. Barker. Christmas Eve.
Midnight Mass at the Trinita. Matins and Lauds, and the
Aurora Mass at St. Peter's. The Pope's Mass. Pius IX.
Mr. William Palmer. His early partiality for the Russian
Church. His visit to Russia. Conversation with him about
his submission to Rome. His method of controversy. His
devotion to his friends. Mr. Palmer's discussion with the
Archimandrite Philaret on the Invocation of Saints.
Mr. Robert Isaac Wilberforce. Visits to the Mamertine
Prison and to the Palace of the Cajsars. The Convent of the
Trinita dei Monti. Church of St. Cecilia. Crypt of St. Peter's.
The Christian Museum in the Lateran. A letter from ray
mother. Uneasiness of Mr. Barker. His behaviour. A general upset.
An episcopal warning. My reflections. Some remarks from
Olivia. Mr. Barker's pupil. The last days of the Carnival.
Studios. Di Rossi, Tenerani, Overbeck. Dome of St. Peter's.
Holy Week. Easter Sunday. Illumination of St. Peter's.
Depression at the thought of leaving Italy. Audience of His
Holiness Pius IX.
In one of his beautiful sonnets Mr. Aubrey de
Vere writes of his first coming to Rome, and of
how he stood before St. Peter's by moonlight.
He says :

Varied Attractions of Rome. 313
That hour fulfilled the dream of many a year.
We were not poets, and our entrance into the
Eternal City was effected in the commonplace
way which has been described in the preceding
chapter. We were, however, very far from being
insensible to the fascination which Rome must
ever possess, even for those who are incapable of
appreciating its best and highest attractions.
I pity those to whom Rome is simply on the
level with any other historical city. I pity those
who are too aesthetic to allow themselves to be
overpowered by the grandeur of St. Peter's. Still
more do I pity those who go to Rome as they
might go to Paris or to London, to lead a life of
amusement and of fashion, and to pass the time
in a genial climate amongst pleasant companions.
Yet these and various other classes of minds were
gratified in their own way in the Rome that I
remember. The lovers of antiquity had their
Forums and their Colosseum, their Temple of
Vesta, their Baths of Caracalla, and many other
immortal ruins.' The lovers of art could rejoice
in the stanze of Raphael, and in Fra Angelico's
frescoes in the Cappella di San Lorenzo. They
had Masaccio's history of St. Catherine in San
Clemente, and the works of Pinturicchio in Sta.
Maria del Popolo, and in the Ara Cceli. They
had those countless treasures of ancient Grecian
and Roman art, which during so many centuries
have adorned the galleries of the Capitol and of
the Vatican and the palaces of the Roman nobles.

314 Society in Rome.
For the lovers of pleasure there were blue skies,
and a balmy air, and some mild hunting. There
were promenades on the Pincio and in the
gardens of the Villa Borghese. There were balls
and a society which was then extremely pleasant.
It was not too large. The same people met
continually. They got to know each other well.
The evening parties began early and ended early.
Night was not turned into day. Society was
recreative without being fatiguing. It was part
of one's daily life. It was so simply managed
that it entailed no great expense. It did not
demand its members to do violence to their
consciences in any way. Their days might be
spent in a rational manner, for society in Rome
was no tyrant. Its claims could be satisfied, and
its pleasures enjoyed without sacrifice of one's
liberty of action. And then the palaces were so
beautiful and so full of inspiration. How different
from the drawing-rooms of Belgrave Square !
People were also more interesting. The very fact
of being in Rome seemed to remove barriers in
the way of making friends. A topic of conversa
tion was always forthcoming. The sights which
had been seen during the day suggested one at
once. We soon found out whether new acquaint
ances were likely to prove sympathetic or not.
The cosmopolitan element in the society added
to its interest. Thus it was that. we very much
enjoyed the gaieties in which for the first time in
our lives we had our share. Perhaps we became

Aggravating Protestants. 315
a little too much engrossed in these worldly
pursuits. Those alone can really appreciate Rome to
whom its spiritual treasures are its chief attrac
tion. Although these treasures cannot be enjoyed
in their fulness by one who has the misfortune
of being outside the Roman Church, such an one
may still share in some of the blessings of
the place, and be thus brought nearer to the
blessed hour when he will be no longer an alien,
but a fellow-citizen with the saints of the house
hold of God. Cive
di quella Roma onde Christo e Romano.
I used to feel that the thoroughly self-satisfied
matter-of-fact Protestant had no business to be in
Rome. He was quite incapable of entering into
the spirit of the place. Talk to him of the delight
of kneeling in the church which stands on the
site of St. Paul's hired house, or of the joy
which fills the soul when it worships in the glorious
Basilicas where rest the remains of the great
Apostles, and the reply will be : "I don't know
what you mean. Rome looked quite different in
the Apostle's time from what it does now. You
can think of the Apostles and of the early martyrs
just as well in our own highly-favoured land as
you can on the spot where they suffered. It is
sadly material, and altogether unworthy of an
intelligent being to suppose that one gets any

3 1 6 First Impressions of Rome.
advantage by praying in the churches built over
their remains."
How aggravating such people are ! They cast
a leaden cloud of commonplaceness over every
thing. One cannot argue with them, and it is
better to avoid their society as much as possible.
I could not, however, persuade dear mother to
do this, although she was particularly liable
to be aggravated. Mr. Barker was no slight
trial !
My mother narrated her first impressions of
Rome in a letter to her sister :
" I never came to a place of which I had
thought much, and which I had pictured to
myself, that proves to be so like what I had
imagined as is Rome. To-day when from a hill
we looked down upon the Campagna, and had a
beautiful view of the city, it was quite odd how
like it was to what I had for so many years
imagined it. I wonder whether it would strike
you in the same way. I don't like to think that
you will never pass the Simplon and go through
the Gorge of Gondo, and all the lovely country
between that and Domo d'Ossola, and at last see
Rome. In after-years if I live it will be nice to
think over all this. In the second lesson yesterday
afternoon the verse was read, ' When he was in
Rome he sought me out very diligently.' It
seemed strange to think that I was really in the
city where St. Paul had been sought for.

Grandeur of St. Peter 's. 317
" I am rather disappointed in the service at the
English chapel. I fancied it was something
exceedingly nice, and that Mr. Woodward was
quite a first-rate High Churchman. However, he
preached an excellent sermon yesterday."
The following is my addendum to the above
letter : " Rome, November 27, 1885.
" I am afraid you will expect a great deal more
from a correspondent in the Eternal City than I
am likely to give. I think in my last letter I told
you about St. Peter's, as well as I could, that is,
for words cannot describe the impression it made
on me. It seems indeed the Temple of the World.
Do you remember what Lord Byron says of it in
Childe Harold ? If you have time to be poetical,
and to think about what we are seeing, a re
reading of those verses will amply repay you.
We were at a very pleasant party last night. I
talked a great deal to Mr. M  , the great
sculptor, and I am glad to find that he thinks it
quite allowable for any one to be entirely carried
away with admiration for St. Peter's. He says
that whatever may be its defects as a work
of art, it is certain that no other building of
equal grandeur and sublimity ever existed, even
amongst the ruins of ancient Greece. This
unique position of St. Peter's is due to its
moral power. However men may deny it, it
has a moral power which is felt in all quarters

3 1 8 . Tke Roman Basilicas.
of the world. It is difficult to imagine how
any one can fail to recognize this power when
standing beneath that wonderful dome. But
there are such beings, and Mr. M  said it was
owing to a defect in their organization. I must
therefore be patient rather than be angry with
people who can't appreciate St. Peter's. Mr.
Barker is amongst this number. Mama and Olivia
are much enraged when he enunciates his opinions
on the subject. The one is very provoking and the
other is very snubby in her answers, so that I hope
he won't again have sufficient pluck and effrontery
to broach these opinions. I believe it is rather
the fashion amongst a certain set of. people to
fancy that there is not much that is worthy of
admiration in St. Peter's. According to the
principles of art there may be a good deal to find
fault with. As yet, however, I have not cared to
criticize details. I am so entirely satisfied with
the effect which St. Peter's produces as a whole.
" We have been to several most interesting
churches, chiefly of the Basilica style. This style
was the earliest that was adapted to Christian
worship. Some of the best specimens of it are,
I believe, in Rome. One or two retain the ancient
arrangements almost entire. They are rich in
mosaics. It is curious to observe the difference
in successive centuries with regard both to the
subjects of the mosaics and to the treatment of
them. We went this afternoon to the Church of
St. Paul, some little way outside the walls. There

St. Paul's outside the Walls. 319
St. Paul is buried. Twenty years ago the original
church, which was very ancient and beautiful, was
almost entirely burnt down, the tribune and the
mosaics alone remaining. It has been rebuilt, and
it is now nearly finished. The interior is splendid,
with double rows of marble columns and with
altars of malachite and of coloured marbles. The
very ancient Roman churches are wonderfully
interesting. There are quantities of churches,
ancient and modern, decorated with pictures and
gilding and marbles. No doubt the style of
architecture that prevails here is more adapted to
the character of the country than would be the
Gothic of our cold northern climes. It is very
unlike the style to which we are accustomed.
Some English people find difficulty in reconciling
themselves to the difference. I am told that the
Italian Gothic, of which there are no specimens
in Rome, is really the highest and purest form of
Christian architecture.
" We are close to the Church of Trinita dei
Monti. On Sunday afternoons we go there for
Benediction. It is a lovely service, so solemn
and devotional. The nuns, to whose convent the
church belongs, sing very beautifully. As yet we
have not been to many services. On Sunday we
shall perhaps go to the Sistine chapel. I have
met with a great deal that edifies me. People
say that one does not see the Roman Church to
such advantage abroad as in England. With this
I cannot agree. Mr. Barker objects to the way in

320 Evening Parties.
which the Italians decorate their churches on
feast-days, with hangings of red and gold. He
says that it is theatrical ; I think that it gives a
nice festive feeling !
" I suppose I ought to tell you about something
else beside churches. We have been to some
very pleasant evening-parties, but we have not
yet seen any one whom we care for super
eminently. Olivia was introduced to a good-
looking Marchese, and had a long conversation
with him. He is said to be superior in mental
cultivation to most of the young Romans. These
have not the reputation of being particularly well
educated. Whether this is true I don't know,
time perhaps will show. I had much fun with a
youth who seems to think himself very clever on
account of his knowing as little as possible about
the antiquities and the other wonders of his native
city. He told me that he should never have
thought of going up to the dome of St. Peter's if
an Englishman had not taken him.
" Mr. and Mrs. Scott-Murray arrived last week,
and are living very near us. Lady Grey lives
nearly opposite, and we are going to a party at
her house to-morrow. I am afraid that mama
does not at all like going out of an evening. She
thinks it her duty to go because of her daughters,
and they are, indeed, very grateful.
" The English chapel is within a pleasant walk
from our house. It is nicer than any that we have
met with on our travels. Perhaps this is no great

The Sistine Chapel. 321
praise ! Mr. Woodward preaches very good
sermons. "Olivia advises you to read Corinne again,
particularly the description of St. Peter's."
A few days later my mother wrote :
"We went yesterday to the service in the
Sistine chapel. The singing was very fine and
impressive, but we could not see well, on account
of the screen, which much impedes the view.
The Pope and a grand procession passed through
the chapel, the Pope carrying the Blessed Sacra
ment from the Sistine to the Pauline chapel.
The Pauline chapel was most brilliantly lighted.
The light however was subdued, and the effect
was wonderfully fine. A beautiful hymn was
sung while the procession moved along.
"The part of the Sistine where people sit,
outside the screen, is very badly arranged. The
benches are so high and are so close together
that it is next to impossible to kneel for any
length of time. Altogether the service was not as
imposing as I had expected it to be, but then I was
not able to follow well, so I did not know what
was being done, nor what the- choir was singing.
At the commencement of the service the Pope
sits on his throne on the south side of the altar,
and the Cardinals do homage, kissing his hand
and bowing. I like the Pope's countenance very
much indeed. I could not see his face well
v

322 A Drive in the Campagna.
during the service, but I was close to him when
he walked in procession.
"We had a charming evening at Mrs. Scott-
Murray's, no party, only Mr. Morris a priest, and
Lady FitzGerald, who is a sister of Sir Thomas
Fremantle. It was very pleasant meeting her
and talking about the Fremantles, &c. She has
a daughter in a convent here, and another who is
in the Novitiate, meaning to be a nun. A third
is married to the Marchese Serlupi, and Lady
FitzGerald has apartments in their palazzo. We
had a long talk together and to-day she called,
but I was out. I hope I shall see a good deal
of her.
" This afternoon we had a delightful drive into
the Campagna, seeing two churches on our way —
Sta. Agnese, which was founded by Constantine
on the spot where the body of St. Agnes was dis
covered. There is a curious old mosaic of the
seventh century. Sta. Costanza is close by, built
by Constantine ; it is a round building, also very
interesting. The Alban and Sabine hills and
mountains beyond looked very beautiful, for it
was so bright and sunny. I wonder whether you
have often pictured the Campagna to yourself.
I always imagined it so lovely, and it is in its way
very lovely, but very peculiar.
"There is a decided change in the weather. It
is a good deal colder, and they say the cold will
last for about six weeks. But walking on the
Pincio between twelve and one, in the sun, and

Benediction in Sta. Maria Maggiore. 323
sheltered from the wind, I was quite hot. The
Italians, I am told, like to have this sort of
weather in winter. The delicious mildness which
there was when we first came, suited me much
better." In my diary of Saturday, December 1, I wrote
of a visit to Santa Maria Maggiore that afternoon:
" The sun shone into the tribune and lighted
up the grand mosaics. At four o'clock there was
a service in the chapel of the Blessed Sacrament,
the Litany of Loretto and Benediction. This
was indeed common worship. All, men, women,
and children, were absorbed in devotion. They
made their petitions with an energy and strength
of purpose which seemed meant to reach to
Heaven. What sublime and thrilling beauty
there is in that Litany ! Then came the Bene
diction. All were bowed in silent adoration.
" In the actual presence of the Blessed Sacra
ment I feel an awe which silences questionings
•and doubts. Even when my soul seems too
•cold to elicit one act of love there is something
which forces me to confess, ' I believe, Lord, I
believe. I believe Thy Word.'
" ' Lord, I believe, help Thou mine unbelief.'
' Lord, increase our faith.' Even those who lived
in the visible presence of the Son of God could
find no better prayer."

324 Raphael's Frescoes in the Vatican.
" Dear Aunt, — We have at last been to the
Vatican. We went with the determination of
seeing Raphael's frescoes, which Mr. Somers
thinks would amply repay the journey here if
there were nothing else to be seen. We wandered
through galleries filled with sculpture, &c, before
we arrived at the pictures. I am very glad to
have known them so well beforehand from
engravings. The frescoes are unfortunately very
much spoilt, and the day was not bright enough
to see them to the best advantage. There was
just sufficient light to enable us to get some idea
of the grandeur of the compositions. Mama
and I mean to spend much time examining them
with the help of Kugler and other books.
" Do you remember that evening when M 
read us Shelley's lines, written in dejection near
Naples, and you said how morbid and unhealthy
they were ? Beautiful as his poetry is, there did
seem an unreality in it when we had been
listening to Mr. Woodford's sermons on the
Creed. Well ! I must tell you how we visited
the English cemetery, which is in a most lovely
situation. We wanted to find Keats' and Shelley's
graves. You will recall the description Shelley
gives of the spot in the lines he wrote to the
memory of his friend. I found Keats' grave.
The sun was shining upon it and we made out
the inscription :
This grave contains all that was mortal of a young
English poet, who, on his death-bed, in the bitterness of

The Grave of Keats. 325
his heart at the malicious power of his enemies, desired
these words to be engraven on his tombstone : ' Here lies
one whose name was writ in water.' February 24, 1821.
" Olivia wrote some verses suggested by our visit
to this cemetery. Of these I will insert the
following :
Here where wild weeds are clambering, slumbers one
Not unforgotten, not unknown to fame.
Guard well, O Earth ! thy brightly gifted son,
Tho' the pale tombstone may not tell his name.
A few short words is all we there may read,
Telling how sadly passed thine earthly life.
Oh, wherefore mourn that Death with timely speed
Bore thy tired spirit from its weary strife !
' My name I wrote in water,' this is all !
Some bitter words besides are added there,
Which tell how envy changed his hopes to gall
And taught a gay young spirit to despair.
' My name I wrote in water.' To the sea
Of endless years flows on Life's downward stream :
Not unforgotten then the name shall be
Which dwells enshrined in Memory's fairest dream.
' My name I wrote in water.' After-time
To prove thee true may yet this record give :
' The name of him who penned the matchless rhyme
Can dare the stream and daring still may live ! '
Still dwells thy memory in the undying song
Of him whose heart alone near thine may rest :
Has he not told the story of thy wrong
And shamed the hand which pierced thy gentle breast ?
Was not the verse which told a poet's grief
The proudest monument thy soul might crave ?
Then of his lays reigns that henceforth the chief
Which wove the crown that Love to Genius gave.

326 Olivia's Verses.
His life methinks was not so sad as thine :
More gay, more hopeful moved he 'mid his peers,
His glorious name thro' future years will shine,
His glorious verse yet waken smiles and tears.
Too bold alas ! he loved to play with Truth
And question things beyond a mortal's ken.
Bright genius thus misused from earliest youth
Failed from the earth to raise his fellow-men.
Oh ! had he lived the king of purest thought
Nor written for Life's book so drear a page,
His strains to man some brighter hopes had brought,
His matchless verse had taught a recreant age.
God's peace be with him now ! — for here alone
Rests the tired heart which once throbbed high with
pride.
And violets I have gathered near the stone
When wandering thoughtful there at eventide.
God's peace be with him now ! Death closed his eyes
To ope we trust upon a brighter shore,
Where his freed spirit saw with glad surprise
How false and cold the creed he owned before.
God's peace be with him now ! The funeral sod
Is bright with flowers which tell that strife is past.
Leave then the Poet's heart to rest with God,
Whom now he learns to love and bless at last."
From my Mother. " December 12, 1855.
"... I must tell you about our doings, and
I can't make up my mind what subject to handle,
because the girls will tell you everything and they
will be much more entertaining than I can be.
But I know you never object to have different
versions of the same thing in our letters. First,

The Palazzo Doria. 327
I want to tell you how very kind your friends,
Mr. and Mrs. Scott-Murray, are to us : it is quite
a comfort their being here. On Sunday afternoon
we went with them, Mr. Northcote, and Mr.
Morris, to the Catacombs of Sta. Agnese. Sunday
was the only afternoon Mr. Northcote could come
with us, and he is learned on the subject. I can't
give you any idea how deeply interested we all
were. A feeling of melancholy fastened upon me
as we walked through the narrow dark passages,
with the spaces on each side in which the dead
of those long past ages were laid. Many of the
graves have never been opened. Mr. Northcote
read and explained to us some of the inscriptions.
We all carried lights. Every now and then we
came upon little chapels, and these with their
quaint frescoes were most interesting. But
Minima intends to write about them, so I will say
no more.
"To-morrow we are going to Mrs. A  's, and
we shall meet Robert Isaac Wilberforce. I wonder
whether he is quite satisfied with the step he has
taken, and is happy in his mind.
" The girls will tell you about our evening at the
Palazzo Doria, which I liked better than any
evening that we have had. The palazzo is magni
ficent, and the Princess is very pleasing and
graceful. There is an elderly Prince Massimo,
whom I like very much. He speaks English,
which is a comfort. His wife hardly ever goes out,
but we are to make acquaintance with his sisters,

328 Visit to the Catacombs.
who have receptions once a week. The French
Ambassadress has three receptions next week. To
one (when there is some ceremony about the
Cardinals) I hear one cannot go in a black dress,
so Mrs. Scott-Murray kindly offered to take the
girls, and I shall be very glad not to go."
My " version " of our visits to the Catacombs
shall follow. I quite shared in that feeling of
melancholy of which my mother spoke. Whence
did it come ? Did it come from the fact that the
Catacombs brought the early Church before us
with such distinctness that we were made to
realize so vividly the days of persecution, and
therefore the question could not but arise in our
minds whether we should be as willing and ready
to suffer for our faith as were the Christians who
used to assemble here for worship ? And did it
come also from a suspicion that if those martyred
Bishops of Rome were to re-visit their Episcopal
See, they would not recognize in the services
conducted by Mr. Woodward, the counterpart of
the ritual, simple as it necessarily was, which
they had been accustomed to in these subter
ranean oratories?
We wandered through long narrow passages
on each side of which, one above another, were
graves, some marked with inscriptions, some with
the palm-branch rudely traced in the mortar,
which denoted that there a martyr had been
laid. Or if he had won the crown of martyrdom

Graves of the Martyrs. 329
by a bloody death, it was usually the custom to
place a vial with his blood near the grave. The
traces of where these vials were placed are to be
seen. Very often several are to be found together
as we should expect to find them in times of
persecution. The chapels are of two kinds, those for in
structing the catechumens (which are without any
painting whatever), and those for the celebration
of the Holy Eucharist. The arrangement is very
simple. A martyr's tomb always formed the
altar. It was perhaps in allusion to this custom
of the early Christians that in the Apocalypse
the souls of the martyrs are represented as crying
to God from under the altar. The paintings are
very rude. Subjects from the Old Testament
are the most frequent, with the exception perhaps
of three from the New Testament, viz., the Good
Shepherd, the Raising of Lazarus, and the Cure
of the Paralytic. These three subjects are very
often repeated. The history of Jonah, the Ark
of Noah, and the life of Moses, are very favourite
subjects. It has been remarked that the symbolism
of the Catacombs never speaks of the sufferings
of Christ and of His Church, but always of His
Resurrection and of His victory over death. The
thought of His Passion seems to have been
submerged in the joy of the contemplation of His
glory. The paintings in Sta. Agnese have been so
injured that very often it is difficult to decipher

330 Catacombs of San Callisto.
them. We went to the Catacombs with our old
Clifton friend, Mr. Northcote (now a priest). I
wish I could remember all that he told us. He
explained everything most satisfactorily. He has
spent much time in these underground regions
studying their history.
" The following Sunday we visited San Callisto,
which in some respects is even more interesting.
Here St. Cecilia was originally buried. Close to
her tomb is a chapel where lie the bodies of
several of the early Popes who were martyred.
The paintings too were better preserved, and
very quaint. I remember a representation of
the Good Shepherd. On one side of Him was a
goat, on the other side a sheep. Contrary to
custom, the goat was placed on His right hand.
An explanation of this might be found in the
supposition that it was the wish of the artist to
bear witness against a heresy which arose in very
early days. This heresy denied that the Church
had power to forgive certain sins, such as
apostasy, &c. Two figures, one on each side of
the Good Shepherd, were represented as running
away from Him. These no doubt denoted the
Apostles whom He sent to preach to all nations,
probably St. Peter and St. Paul, the one the
Apostle of the Jews, the other the Apostle of the
Gentiles. Before each of these Apostles stood
sheep in different attitudes. The attitudes of the
sheep very emphatically expressed the different

Early Christian Paintings. 331
degrees of attention which they were paying to the
message which was being delivered to them. One
had altogether turned away. Another was giving
a half attention. A third was listening most
earnestly. Some perpendicular strokes above
these sheep were supposed to symbolize the grace
which is given from Heaven to all. It might be
mere fancy, but certainly the thickest rain was
that which was falling on the best sheep. In the
same chapel there are pictures of the seven
loaves, and of Moses bringing water out of the
rock. Moses, Mr. Northcote says, is sometimes
certainly meant to be a type of St. Peter. In one
instance the word Petrus is actually written over
the figure of a man who is striking the rock with
a rod. The rod, he says, is never found except
in the hands of our Lord, of Moses, or of
Peter. " Mr. Northcote said that if the Catacombs
were not originally the work of the Christians
(which, it appears, some deny), it would be quite
impossible to account for their origin, as the soil
in which they are dug could not have been worth
excavating. It can hardly be imagined, more
over, that excavators would have preserved such
narrow intricate passages, or that they should
have carried on their work in a way that could
have been adapted by the Christians for such
burying-places as have come down to us. The
Christians got the idea from the Jews. A sand
pit was generally chosen for the entrance into the

332 History of the Catacombs.
Catacombs. The entrance could thus be better
concealed. *
" The Catacombs fell into oblivion when the
bodies of the martyrs were removed. There was
then no longer the same inducement for the
faithful to go there to pray. Probably about the
eighth or ninth centuries pilgrimages to the Cata
combs were discontinued. Subsequently nothing
was known of them till the fifteenth century,
when they were accidentally discovered by Bosio.
He devoted many long years to the study of their
history. Many very interesting discoveries have
been made lately."
At the period when the foregoing letter was
written, there was no good English book on the
Catacombs. We therefore appreciated very
highly the privilege of being shown some portions
of them by one of the authors of the famous
work, Roma Sotteranea, which has since been
published. From Olivia.
" Rome, December 18, 1855.
" Minima and I had meant to have written one
of our joint chatty letters, but this we cannot do,
because Mr. Barker is in the room, and he is, as
usual, intent on his Italian exercises. To-morrow
we shall have no time to write, so I am con
strained to try and do my best alone.
" Yesterday evening we went to three recep
tions, but hours here are fortunately very early

Receptions for the new Cardinals. 333
and sensible, and we were in bed by one o'clock.
We first went to the house of some princess
whose name I can't spell. She received for the
new Italian Cardinal. We then proceeded to
the Colonna Palace, where Madame de Raynevale
received for the French Cardinal. We did not
stay long at either place, as there was a tremen
dous crush. Mrs. Scott-Murray very kindly took
us. It is not etiquette for people to go in
mourning, so mama could not accompany us.
We met her afterwards, however, at the Princess
Doria's. The Roman ladies were magnificently
dressed, and wore splendid diamonds. The gentle
men were mostly in uniform. The Cardinal stood
at the entrance of the room, receiving bows and
curtseys from all who passed. The Italian
Cardinal looked extremely pleased and cheerful,
and said something pleasant to every one. The
poor little Frenchman, who is quite old, seemed
to be rather bored, and very tired, and as if he only
half liked it. There is another reception at the
French Embassy on Thursday, the day that the
Cardinal's hat is given, and to this I suppose we
shall go. We found mama awaiting us at the
Doria's, where there was a great crowd, but not
nearly such a crush as at the other receptions.
We were dressed all in white, with violet flowers
in our hair. I mention this, as I know you like to
hear little details.
" Last Saturday we went to the Vespers at
St. John Lateran. The music was quite heavenly.

334 Ordination at St. John Lateran.
Only four or five Psalms were sung, the Magni
ficat, and the Te Deum, but it lasted about three
hours. The Te Deum was magnificent.
" We hope to go to St. Peter's on Christmas
night. All through that night there are services
at different churches, but I think we shall content
ourselves with St. Peter's.
" The preaching in the Coliseum is a very
picturesque sight. We were there for a short
time on Friday afternoon, in spite of its being
somewhat cold. A Franciscan discoursed with
much emphasis and eloquence. I do like the
Italian style of preaching. The sermon was so
very simple that we could follow it entirely, and
Italian is such a beautiful language to listen to.
" Yours affectionately, " Olivia."
I noted in my diary the interest that I felt in
witnessing an ordination in St. John Lateran, the
last Saturday in Advent. " The service began at
a very early hour. We came in time for the
ordination of the priests. It is the custom for
the newly-made priests to repeat the words of
the Mass with the celebrant, and so Mass was
said much more slowly than usual, and I could
follow it entirely." Mr. Barker took a prominent
position amongst the spectators at this function.
He had with him a folio copy of the Roman
Pontifical. This he had borrowed for the purpose
of assisting at the rite. About this time he

Admonition from Mr. Barker. 335
thought it well to give me an admonition. One
afternoon when I had returned from Benediction,
he cleared his voice, and stated that he did not
think it was the wish of our mother the Church
of England that we should attend these services.
Promptly did I reply, "Then, Mr. Barker, I
wonder that you do attend them. For myself I
don't care what the Church of England wishes, or
what she does not wish. But you do. I dare say,
therefore, you won't go again, or at all events you
will not take that gigantic Pontificale Romanum."
As I took this line, he did not pursue the subject
with me. Naturally enough, my response to his
suggestion did not tend to allay the growing
fear that he had about our steadfastness in
Anglicanism. Among the number of people with
whom we had made acquaintance, there were
a good many converts. On hearing a report
(which proved to be false) that Mr. Manning was
expected in Rome, Mr. Barker tried to exact
a promise from my mother that she would not
see him. This promise, it is needless to say, she
entirely declined to make.
From my Mother.
" Rome, St. Stephen's day.
" I fear my letter will be extra stupid to-day.
I have a bad cold, and I am only just up, though
it is nearly luncheon-time. I must offer you my
best and my most affectionate wishes for the New
Year. Tell the children that I hope they are

336 Christmas Eve.
having a merry Christmas. It is only in quite
one's young days that that can be, for anniver
saries so soon bring nothing but melancholy
feelings and recollections, and the days that are
seem so different to the days that have been.
If it were not for the hope that all things are
working together for our eternal welfare, the
contrast of the present would be dark and
sorrowful beyond measure, set beside the fond
hopes and bright visions of years gone by.
" I must tell you about Christmas Eve. I
should have felt thoroughly up to it in inclination
had it not been for my cold. We went to bed
directly after dinner, to ensure a little rest. At
eleven, Minima and I were to have got up for the
midnight service at the Trinita dei Monti. Olivia
had made up her mind to forego that. Minima
slept soundly till the appointed hour, but I could
not get any sleep, and my cold was so bad, that I
thought it was not prudent to go out. While
Minima was making ready, we had a comfortable
tea. Then, at one o'clock, Olive and I got up.
Minima came back, and we set off at two for
St. Peter's. It was such lovely moonlight, and
St. Peter's looked so very grand, and there was
something more solemn than I can tell when we
entered that immense sanctuary. The chapel
in which the service was to be was brilliantly
lighted ; in the rest of the church were only
lights here and there. St. Peter's is always
deliciously warm. We found ourselves too early

Christmas Day. 337
for the service, so I went apart to say my prayers,
and wished much for you. The music was very
fine. We were there about three hours. Then
we went home to tidy ourselves and to have
breakfast, and at a quarter-past eight we drove off
again to St. Peter's, to hear the Pope say High
Mass. Of this I can only give an imperfect
sketch, I felt so knocked up with my cold, and
from want of sleep. First came in the Noble
Guard, and ranged themselves in order. Then
came a grand procession, and the Pope arrived
under a canopy, with Cardinals, &c, before and
behind. The Pope has a very sweet countenance.
He looks so humble. When he elevated the Host,
trumpets from the dome sounded. This had a
very fine effect. The music was very beautiful
and very solemn. The service was long, and I was
too tired to enjoy it thoroughly, or to enter into it
as I should otherwise have done. After it was
over we drove to the English Church, which we
reached in time for Holy Communion. I remained
at home the rest of the day, and by half-past
seven I was in bed ! We all slept so soundly
after the fatigues of the previous night and day.
Mr. Palmer called just before dinner. He is
extremely clever. He has travelled a great deal,
and he talks in a most interesting manner. He
said that he had called with the intention of
offering to come in the evening, and to talk to us
about Egyptian hieroglyphics. I told him how fast
asleep my mind was, and how tired and stupid
W

338 New Acquaintances.
we all were. He had been up all the preceding
night also, so finally we settled he should come
another evening instead.
" Robert Isaac Wilberforce called one after
noon. How delightfully he talks ! the tone of his
voice is so soothing. Every topic he handles
becomes interesting. He speaks like a thorough
Christian. I am so glad that I am to meet him
this evening at dinner.
" On Sunday evening Prince Massimo called,
and stayed till ten. Mr. Barker had gone out to
tea, so we had him to ourselves. I believe that
many people think him prosy, but I like him very
much. I always contrive to get him to talk
on something interesting. He speaks English
well. " The sun was exquisitely warm this morning,
so warm it was quite odd to think that it is
Christmas. Last week it was very, very cold.
There was even a little snow, and my bed-room is
so cold.
" I am quite thankful for the change, and if
we have no more wintry weather, we shall have
nothing to complain of. They say that it is
unusually cold for Rome this year. I ventured on
a little drive into the Campagna, but the sun
went in, and I am none the better for it. Lady
Lothian and her two daughters called just after
we came in, and they sat with us for some time.
She is so pleasant, and so friendly. I feel that I
should soon get to know her well."

Midnight Mass at the Trinita. 339
I very much enjoyed the Christmas which my
mother described in the preceding letter. Some
Catholic friends took me to the Masses at the
Convent of the Trinita. The first Mass began
a little before midnight. I did not then know
anything about the Nuns of the Sacred Heart,
who live in this convent. The Society of the
Sacred Heart has since become very dear to me.
Even then I felt that it was a great privilege
to be in the holy and elevating atmosphere of
this convent on such a night. It helped me to
realize the wonderful mystery which was being
commemorated. When others received Holy
Communion, the sense of being an alien came
upon me very painfully. I prayed that I might
not always be an alien.
After the Masses at Trinita dei Monti, I went
home to rest, and then we drove to St. Peter's.
The night was exquisite, the moon was very
bright, and there was something quite indes
cribable in the grandeur of St. Peter's by this
light. We went in. It still wanted some time
to Matins. I remained in the Blessed Sacrament
chapel. It was dimly lighted and perfectly quiet.
I thought of the shepherds keeping watch over
their flocks by night, and of how the Angel
looked when he brought them the tidings of great
joy. Those were happy moments that I spent in
the stillness of that chapel. The words came
into my mind, "Ye that by night stand in the
House of the Lord, in the courts of the House of

340 The Pope's Mass in St. Peter's.
our God." I thought what a special blessing
must be given to those who are bound by
religious rule to rise every night and to sing the
praises of God, at an hour when so few are awake
to think of Him, and when those who are not
asleep are but too often offending Him.
Afterwards we went to the Cappella del Coro,
where were sung Matins and Lauds. At five
o'clock the Aurora Mass began, the second of the
Masses which the Church celebrates at Christmas.
Later on we assisted at the grand ceremony of
the day — the Pope's Mass in St. Peter's. We
had got a glimpse of the Pope as he passed in
his carriage. Even that glimpse had rejoiced
me. Now, however, we were for some consider^
able time within a few yards of him, and we could
hear his voice and watch his countenance, and
it is a singularly beautiful countenance. Once
I gazed at Pius IX. at the moment of the
Elevation of the Host. I thought that a man
who did not believe in the Real Presence could
hardly fail to be convinced of the truth of this
doctrine could he behold the expression of faith
and of trembling adoration that was depicted on
the face of Pius IX. Well might my mother say
that he looked so humble ! Was not a glance
at him sufficient to refute Dr. Cumming's inter
pretations of the prophecy about the man of
sin ? These interpretations indeed were not con
fined to Dr. Cumming and to his sect, but were

Mr. William Palmer. 341
preached from many pulpits of the Established
Church in England.
Very soon after we arrived in Rome, we made
acquaintance with Mr. William Palmer, of whom
we saw a great deal this winter. He was unlike
any other man I ever met. It would have been
difficult to guess what was his nationality, so
essentially cosmopolitan was he. It had been
his dream to make the Eastern Church recognize
the Catholicity of the Anglican Church. His
expedition to Russia for that purpose in 1840,
his discussions with Russian ecclesiastical autho
rities — Monks and Archimandrites, and the
Metropolitan of Moscow — the impressions he
received from their religious ceremonies and
customs, are very quaintly described in the diary
that was published after his death and edited by
Cardinal Newman. This diary is thoroughly
characteristic of its writer. I can hear Mr.
Palmer taking part in the discussions, so vividly
does it bring him before me. He looked at things
from a point of view which was all his own.
In truth, he did not belong to his century,
so little was he influenced by its manners and
customs. I used to think that he would not have
felt out of place in any century of the Christian
era, had the world suddenly rolled backwards.
He would perhaps have been most at home in
the early ages of the Church. I thought that he
might just have been visiting St. John Chrysostom

342 Mr. Palmer's Conversion.
in his troubles, or have been discussing with
St. Jerome the interpretation of some passages
of Scripture.
Mr. Palmer had made his submission to the
Roman Catholic Church only a few months before
we first knew him. Although his cast of mind
was directly antagonistic to modern Protestantism,
it must have cost him not a little to make this
submission. He told1 me how he found himself
in Rome on his way from the East, and how his
friends urged him to make a retreat. " It was a
good thing to do, so I could not refuse," he said.
At the end of the retreat he had no doubt with
regard to his duty of placing himself in com
munion with the See of Peter. Two years earlier
he had published at Athens in modern Greek
a volume of Dissertations on the Orthodox Com
munion. An English version of these dissertations
he also published in London. His attraction to
the Eastern Church probably arose from a desire
of finding a form of Christianity which was more
identical with that of the early ages than was
to be found in the West. The Greek Church,
seen in its most favourable aspect in Russia,
seemed to him to be such a form. It retained
the Catholic doctrines that England had rejected,
and at first sight it appeared to represent un
impaired the religion of antiquity, so stationary ¦
had it remained. Too stationary, indeed ! It has
not grown and developed as a living body must
grow and develope. It is local and national. It

His Method of Controversy. 34^

lacks the note of Catholicity. It is forced against
its will to bear testimony to the absolute necessity
of union with the Apostolic See.
Mr. Palmer displayed great fairness and imparti
ality in discussing questions of controversy. He
said that it was a good plan for opponents to
change sides. If you find your adversary can state
fairly and accurately the arguments for your
opinions, you are then disposed to hear what he
can urge against them. If he is in total ignorance
of your position, how can he assail it ? Much time
and trouble would be spared were this suggestion
adopted. Mr. Palmer would himself offer to give
the arguments for Protestantism in the strongest
possible form.
His devotion to his friends was unbounded.
He possessed that power of self-sacrifice without
which real friendship is impossible. There was
no trouble he would not take, no inconvenience
to which he would not submit, if he could be of
use to a friend. Some unappreciative people
found him wearisome. Mr. Dean, whose opinion
on men and things was generally worth having,
said he would rather be bored by William Palmer
than be amused by most people.
Mr. Palmer in his later years interested himself
very much in the Book of Daniel. On this book
he wrote a treatise in Latin. The last time I
saw him he said he should like to live to see if
Bismarck was a certain little horn that is spoken
of by the Prophet Daniel !

344 Invocation of Saints.
In his diary Mr. Palmer relates a conversation
that he had as an Anglican in 1841 with the
Archimandrite Philaret on the Invocation of
Saints. In this conversation Mr. Palmer tried to
show that invocation of saints and prayers for the
departed were not matters of express revelation
or commandment. They were rather acts of
natural piety, and the practical result of faith in
the Communion of Saints.
Philaret refers to the Lutherans and points out
how " having misunderstood the matter from the
first they have brought things to this pass, that
now every invocation is for them an impiety, and
the consequence is that those habits of mind, of
affection, of humility, of faith in the Communion
of Saints, are no longer formed in them, which
the frequent use of invocation is intended to
develope. Especially," he says, " there seems to
me to be a strong bearing of pride in the tone
and manner in which Protestants will have none
but our Lord to do anything for them. All work
surely is in Christ, and apart from Him nothing
can be good or profitable either in ourselves or
in others; but yet surely in the unity of His
Spiritual Body it is a good and salutary thing to
find we can be aided, and to be disposed and
look to be aided one by another. It is good, and
greatly tending to humility, and really to Christ's
glory, to submit ourselves one to another, to
reverence, honour, and esteem the holiness and
spiritual rank of others, higher than our own, all

The Archimandrite Philaret. 345
in the spirit of love, in the unity of Christ, and the
true faith and fear of God. Now, I repeat, I
think there is something very like pride in the
way in which Lutherans refuse help from any
created being, but only directly from Christ, and
cannot bring themselves to the humility of
saying, ' 0 Most Holy Mother of God, save
us.' "
The Archimandrite spoke more to the same
effect, and his Anglican guest replied in his own
line of argument, as I have stated it. The
Anglican drew from this conversation the follow
ing conclusion : "I fear, in reflecting upon what
passed between us, that the Protestant assertion —
I mean that prayers to the saints are derogatory
to the glory of the One Mediator and lower the
religious temper — is not quite borne out by our
experience. That is, the rejection of the prayers
of departed saints, and of the habit of expressing
the wish of being benefited by them, has not
increased in us a disposition to think much of the
prayers of the living, or of prayer itself, or that
humility, which thinks of others as better and
nearer to God than ourselves. I will add that
I was much struck when I first came into
Russia, how much more the national character
seemed to be tinctured with humility, brotherly
kindness, and warm feeling, as well as reverence
for holy things and religious faith, than our
own is. I knew of course before I came here,
that we could be accused of pride and

346 Mr. Palmer's Impartiality.
but I had no idea of the extent of the evil
till I was here, and saw the contrast."
This passage shows the impartiality of Mr.
Palmer's mind, and the power which he
possessed while yet an Anglican of throwing
himself into the habits of thought and feeling
which are prevalent in foreign countries. At
that time he regarded the English Church as
part of the Church Catholic, and he was most
anxious that her claims should be recognized.
He did not, however, set out with the assumption
that every practice which she did not inculcate
must necessarily be wrong. He was quite ready
to give consideration to the idea which was
suggested by his opponent, that the spirit which
refused to have recourse to those effectual, fervent
prayers of the saints, which St. James tells us
are so availing, was a spirit of pride and impiety
rather than of humility and faith.

From my Mother.
" Rome, January 2, 1856.
" We spent a very pleasant, quiet New Year's
Eve. I was so glad we had not been cited to any
gay scene, but only to a small party at Lady
C  's. We had been in the afternoon to the
Gesti to hear a fine Te Deum. The Pope came in
procession with the Cardinals, and we had a
capital seat in the front.
" On Friday we went to the Mamertine Prison

The Mamertine Prison. 347
with Mr. Robert Isaac Wilberforce. It made
all the difference going with him. He gave an
increased interest even to such a place of intense
interest as is the prison where St. Peter and
St. Paul were confined. Here is the fountain,
or rather well, in which St. Peter is said to have
baptized his gaolers.
"After our visit to the Mamertine Prison we
went to the Palatine. There stand the ruins, the
mighty ruins, ofthe Palace of the Caesars. I can't
tell you how delightfully Mr. Wilberforce spoke
about it all, and explained sites, and quoted poetry.
An intelligent companion makes sight-seeing much
more instructive. He is going with us, we hope,
on Saturday, to the Crypt of St. Peter's. . . .
"To-day we went with Miss Hare over the
Convent of the Trinita dei Monti. There is such
a beautiful view over Rome from the convent
garden. It is a delightful garden, so large and
sunny. The nuns have a school for girls, which
is, I believe, an excellent one. The few young
ladies we saw looked very happy. Most of the
pupils were not in the school-room. The nuns
have schools also for the poor, and these schools
seem to be admirably managed.
" After this, we went to the Church of
St. Cecilia. Her body was found in the Cata
combs in the ninth century, and was thence
removed to this church. The sculptor Maderno
made an effigy of her in marble, exactly as he
saw her in her tomb when it was opened in the

348 The Crypt of St. Peter's.
sixteenth century. The position is singular, but
it is a most lovely figure. The hands and feet are
beautiful." From Olivia.
" Rome, January 8, 1856..
" My dearest Aunt, — Mama and Minima having
gone out to hear a French discourse, and I being
left all alone, it seems a fitting opportunity to
begin a letter to you. I had intended hearing
the sermon also, as I believe the preacher is a
famous one, but I was very tired this morning.
This afternoon we are going to the Christian
Museum at the Lateran. Mr. Northcote is to
lionize us. I expect it will be very interesting,
especially now that we have seen so much of the
Catacombs, for we shall see there many of the
inscriptions, lamps, &c, which have been removed
from the Catacombs.
" There is a hot sirocco wind blowing to-day
which I like very much, so far as the feeling of it
goes, only it invariably brings a cloudy sky and
rain. I do not know whether mama has written to
you since our visit to the subterranean church in
St. Peter's. Mr. Wilberforce accompanied us,
and we had also a Mr. L  , a clergyman, and
two of our Italian friends. We first saw the
treasures. These I did not care for much. They
are very interesting to people who are learned in
such things, and Mr. L  was delighted. There
was a beautiful chalice set with diamonds which
was presented by our own Cardinal York, the

Christian Museum in the Lateran. 349
last of the Stuarts. We saw also the robe, or
dalmatic, I think it is called, which was worn by
Charlemagne at his coronation. The crypt is
most interesting. Should you not like to see the
spot where St. Peter was buried ?
" Mr. Wilberforce, not being in the least tired,
was rather anxious to ascend the dome after we
had been wandering for about two hours in the
church below. However, fortunately, we had not
got our order with us, so that fatiguing ascent
was postponed. . . . " Your affectionate " Olivia."
From my Mother.
" Rome, January g, 1856.
"... Yesterday we went to the Christian
Museum in the Lateran. Mr. Northcote was our
guide. He read and translated the inscriptions
that have come from the Catacombs. Many
of them are very pretty and very touching. He
and Lord Y  were talking about books on
the Catacombs, and they mentioned Macfarlane,
which you wrote about. Mr. Northcote says
Macfarlane has fallen head over heels into all
sorts of absurdities, and has made every possible
mistake he could make. He is not an author to
be depended on. How you would enjoy seeing
all these things. I should enjoy them doubly in
your company. . . . Last week we went to the
Ludovisi Villa to see some celebrated frescoes by

350 Villa Ludovisi.
Guercino and Domenichino. There are very
large gardens, which in summer must be charm
ing, and from the roof such a magnificent view
over Rome and the Campagna. It must be a
sort of Paradise in a Roman summer. The
villa contains some fine sculpture. A Mars in
repose particularly pleased me, and a colossal
head of Juno. I don't in general like colossal
things. We had a pleasant evening at the
Palazzo Serlupi yesterday. . . . Many amongst
the highest class of Italians seem to be very
religious, and to devote themselves to visiting the
poor and the hospitals. Some ofthe men whom we
meet at balls belong to confraternities, and after
they leave the parties they often go to visit the
sick. I don't think the English people here in
general have any idea how self-denying and how
charitable their Italian friends are. These good
people do everything so secretly without making
any talk about it. I was so very glad to find out
this. " I was introduced a few evenings ago to Mgr.
Chigi. He belongs to one of the oldest and
greatest families in Rome, and used to be very
fond of the gaieties of the world. Now he is a
priest and near the Pope. He talked of the
change that had passed upon him, and altogether
was so interesting and edifying, as Minima would
say. " And so William Wheeler is gone over, and he
and Mrs. Wheeler are expected in Rome some

Mr. Wheeler's Secession. 351
time in Lent. I was introduced yesterday evening
to Lady E  , who is a great friend of his, and
she is very unhappy about him. She seems to
think that no one was ever as good as he is, and
now, although grieving over his secession, she
believes his motives to have been good and pure.
I said what I could to calm the kind old lady.
" People told me that in Rome such efforts were
made to convert every one, but I really have seen
nothing of it. I think that if any one was
supposed to be unhappy in his mind or wavering,
then many would be ready to lend a helping hand,
but certainly there is no set made upon people,
and henceforth from my own observation I should
contradict such an assertion.
"The only way of calmly enjoying Rome would
be to be living here for /several winters. This
week we have engagements every evening. When
I go to dress, I invariably long to be going to bed,
but I like to see the girls and Charlie enjoying
themselves. In Lent there is no dancing in
Rome, only quiet receptions. The evening is the
best time for seeing one's friends, because there
are galleries, museums, churches, ruins in such
abundance to be visited, that unless one seizes
on almost every afternoon, one would leave Rome
without having gone over a tenth of these things.
" I went to hear the Bishop of Poitiers preach
in French. It was an admirable sermon, and till
quite the last part a sermon that any Protestant
might have listened to with edification."

352 Mr. Barker's Alarm.
When dear mother wrote this letter she had no
suspicion of what the next post from England
would bring, and the extreme annoyance that
it would cause her. The intercourse with
Mr. Wilberforce, which we enjoyed so much,
Dr. Northcote's kindness in explaining the
Christian antiquities of Rome, together with
remarks that my mother had made to the effect
that as yet no one had attempted to convert her,
had greatly alarmed Mr. Barker. He thought
that she was standing unawares on the brink of a
precipice. He had always intended to be alarmed
when he got to Rome. He had hoped that we
should all be likewise alarmed. He had made up
his mind that there was only one proper line of
conduct for us to pursue. This was that we should
constantly apply to him for guidance, that we
should not receive any Roman Catholic visitors
unless he were present, and that his consent
should be obtained before we attended any
services, &c. In direct contradiction to these
ideas of his, we were going on in the pleasant
way described in our letters, making acquaint
ance with all the people worth knowing who
came in our way, totally regardless as to whether
they were " members of our Church " or not,
receiving visitors at hours when he was engaged
in directing his pupil's studies : how could he tell
what efforts were not being made to weaken
our allegiance to our own Church? When
he expressed an opinion, we did not appear to

Difficulties of his Position. 353
attach the importance to it which he considered
it deserved. We were bent on enjoying ourselves,
and we were evidently unaware of our dangers.
In his perplexity Mr. Barker conceived the
idea of writing for advice to his Diocesan in
England. His letter stated the difficulties (as
he called them) of his position with regard to us.
Possibly he meant his communication to have
been confidential. It was not so regarded by the
Bishop. His lordship thought fit to send at once
for our relatives and to acquaint them with the
contents of the letter. He urged them to write
serious remonstrances and warnings. He himself
wrote to my mother. Owing, however, to his
peculiarly illegible handwriting, his letter did not
reach her for a long while. This accident was
attributed I believe to the espionage which is
exercised by the Papal postal authorities, and not
to the real cause.
The poor little Barker was rather alarmed
when he found what a commotion he had made.
He could offer but a lame excuse for his conduct
to the three indignant ladies before whom he was
arraigned. My mama was really wounded and
unhappy. Olivia was wrathful at what she con
sidered the impertinence of his behaviour, I was
equally anxious that he should be made to see
that it was both meddling and foolish, and that
we by no means admitted his right to interfere
with our freedom of action in any way. We were
both very outspoken on the occasion. A day or
X

354 Result of Mr. Barker's Conduct.
two afterwards, when I had been meditating on
the forgiveness of injuries, and wished to make
up for any unnecessary rudeness, I expressed a
hope that he had not thought me unkind or
uncivil. This overture was not taken as it was
meant. Poor Mr. Barker had a way of always
saying the wrong thing. After a long pause,
during which he might have hit on something
more appropriate, he announced that he did feel
he was not treated with the respect due to a priest
of the Church of England. "But it is such a
foolish thing to be," rose to my lips, although
politeness prevented the words from being
uttered. I felt amazed that Mr. Barker should
not know me better than to advance such a claim
to my deference.
It was very disagreeable having such a fuss
made, because it caused great vexation to my
mother. She was very sensitive, and worry made
her ill. I must say that the letters she received
were highly provoking. My relations' reverence
for the Bishop and the earnestness with which he
spoke got the better of their judgment. The
Bishop felt very strongly on the subject. Like
most people who knew her (unless they were
Mr. Barkers), he felt a warm affection for and
deep interest in my mother. He had the reputa
tion of being a High Churchman. Nevertheless
he took it for granted that salvation was not to be
found in the Roman Church. This was mani
fest from his letter when after some weeks it was

An Episcopal Warning. 355
recovered from the Poste Restante. In very strong
language he represented to my mother the sinful
ness of exposing herself and her daughters to
temptation. He wrote about the Judgment Day,
and about the perilous condition in which he
considered our souls to be, and urged the
necessity of flight. He counselled us to leave
Rome at once. As the letter was not addressed
to me I had not to answer it. I should not have
minded answering it.
To my aunt I wrote what I considered a very
sensible letter. I said that we entirely declined
to live in the state of perpetual fright recom
mended by Mr. Barker. He wished us to be
•continually moaning over the awful perils by
which we were surrounded. I was indeed rather
ashamed to confess, that we had latterly been
more taken up with Vanities and gaieties and
other interests, than with the religious influences
of Rome. As to " letting it be understood that
we meant to be entirely guided by Mr. Barker,"
as the Bishop and our worthy relatives suggested,
that was an idea which we should not for a
moment entertain. When she found it expedient
to be guided entirely by Mr. Baker (the semi-
fatuous old parson of her parish), then, and not
till then would we submit to be controlled by
Mr. Barker. " Though as a matter of fact," I
wrote in conclusion, "mother has not been talking
on controversial points with any one, I must state
my opinion that she has a perfect right to do so if

356 Minima's Opinion.
she chooses. The law of personal responsibility
is one from which no one can escape. We have
no right to refuse to use that reason which has
been given us for the sake of following in place
of it a self-appointed guide."
A week later Olivia wrote :
" January 22, 1856.
"I am deputed, being the 'frivolous one,' to
write you a gossipy letter. I should like to have
kept it till after the Doria ball, which happens
to-morrow night, only the letters will have to go
next day, and I know I shall be in bed then
and much too sleepy to write anything amusing.
Charlie's passion for dancing by no means
decreases, and I think it will be a good thing
for him when the Carnival is over.
" I am very glad, my dear aunt, that your last
letter was in rather a more lively strain than the
former one. When I think of Mr. Barker's goings
on I really feel too cross, and as I desire to be
in charity with him I imagine it will be best if
I make no comment on his behaviour. It really
is too bad of him to worry mama in the way that
he has worried her. She is so very little able to
bear this sort of annoyance. You know how a
small thing will sometimes keep one awake all
night, and just at present she is far from strong
and is therefore easily fretted. Mr. B  's dense-
ness and want of tact amaze me. . . . Poor
mama does not much envisage the Doria ball. I

Letter from Olivia. 357
wish sitting up late did not tire us all so much.
We have got some very bonny little dresses for
the occasion, trimmed down one side with white
roses, and made with three skirts. The Borgheses
have a ball next week.
" We had a long drive this afternoon into the
Campagna. The air was so balmy and exquisite
and it was so perfectly delicious, I fear we are
beginning to sing, like the lotus-eaters, ' We will
return no more.'
"The days are getting much longer now. They
never have been very short. To-morrow we mean
to begin dining at six, in order that we may stay
out till that hour. We go early to the Dorias
to-morrow as there is a sort of evening party first,
when the Cardinals and the Monsignori will be
there. I believe it is not etiquette to dance in
their presence, so I suppose the ball will not
begin for some time."

If Mr. Barker wanted a misery, he would have
been quite within his rights had he contented
himself with bemoaning my brother's predilection
for the pleasures of society. This might legiti
mately have given him cause for complaint,
although it could not well be helped. Charlie
knew nothing of that which had made us so
displeased with his tutor. He had, however, his
own little grievance which he details in the
following, letter:

358 Last Days of the Carnival.
Rome, February i, 1856.
"My dearest Aunt, — Many thanks for your
letter which I received yesterday morning. Alas!
alas ! I am in low spirits, for the Carnival is well
nigh over, and dancing is nearly at an end. We
have had four balls one after another this week,.
and they have been so jolly. The festivities of the-
Carnival also have afforded us great amusement.
Everybody becomes a child for eight days, and
the air is filled with confetti, bouquets, bonbons,
hurrahs, shouts and laughter for three hours every
day from two to five o'clock : it is the greatest fun
imaginable. How I long to give you a good
description of it by word of mouth, for I don't
think I could do it well in a letter. The Princess
Doria gave one splendid ball and the Princess
Borghese another, and they were most enjoyable.
The latter was composed chiefly of Italians,'
there were only five dancing Britishers there, of
whom I was one. Some of the Italians are rather
jolly, though rather slow at the same time. The
ladies are scarcely as handsome as I had expected*
or the men either.
" Who was it that sent my last letter to F 
to the Guardian ?
"You say that you think Barker a sound
sensible man, &c. So did I till to-day when he
propounded a most strange theory to mama in
manner following. That is to say, the Rev. T.
Barker thinks that I, his charge and pupil, have
no right to talk like a man of four-and-twenty, and

Letter from Mr. Barker's Pupil. 359
that it is a great pity that I do so, and that I, a
boy of sixteen, should put myself forward in the
way I do. The aforesaid reverend gentleman also
thinks that I ought not to mingle so much with
young ladies, and certainly ought not to go nearly
so much into society. To which I, the above-
mentioned charge and pupil, beg to make the
following remarks : In the first place, if I do talk
like a man of four-and-twenty, I am exceedingly
glad to hear it, and I don't think he could have
done me more good — no, not even if I had worked
twelve hours a day and made myself as thin as a
walking-stick, and gone to bed and dreamed of
him and ancient Greeks and Romans every night.
And I consider, moreover, that such a charge is
frivolous and vexatious, and that instead of being
annoyed, he ought to feel gratified at having the
charge of a youth in whom the ' march of intellect '
is so agreeably apparent.
"As to the next complaint, I believe it to
have arisen from having heard me talk about a
bachelors' ball, which we 'bachelors' had been
taking into consideration, but which never came
off as there was no time. As to my mingling
with young ladies, I consider that to be a little
bit of pique, because the fair sex show no weak
ness towards him. And lastly, I fancy that he
wishes me only to go to whatever parties he goes
to, and always to be at home and in bed by
half-past ten — a notion which I need scarcely
say, never so much as flashed across my brain.

360 Tke Lesson-book of the World.
. . . Now it's all very well for him to kick up a
row because I don't do much in the way of
studies, but I cannot see how this evil is to be
avoided. It is the wildest possible idea to
imagine that a man can read at Rome. In
general I am in with him all the morning till
one o'clock, but really all the afternoon it would
be nonsense to expect me to stop in and never
see anything while I am here. Who knows
whether I shall ever return ! After dinner I am
much too stupid to do anything as it ought to be
done ; besides which we are always going out
somewhere, and I could never keep myself in
a tranquil frame of mind if mama and sisters
went out and I was left at home. And, moreover,
the large lesson-book of the world is one in which
a man may learn very many more practical
advantages for his future life and welfare, than
from deep researches among fusty old Greek and
Latin authors. Not that I would in the least
cry down the use of these latter, for they form
and tutor the mind well, but I feel sure that a
mind ought not to be crammed merely with what
was, leaving out the knowledge of what is and
will. be. There is where we differ. He thinks
that a boy's mind ought to be strictly conform
able to his years. I maintain that a boy cannot
be too far advanced. If I had remained at
Cheltenham, doubtless I should have been con
siderably fuller of dead languages, . . . but no
amount of these would have opened my mind so

Sunset from the Coliseum. 361
much as the six or seven months we have spent
abroad. One thing some time ago aggravated
him rather, namely, that I began a novel, and I
do not think he quite approves of my writing
poetry. I have been agitating about private
theatricals lately, and what will he say if the
' boy of sixteen ' is loudly applauded as a capital
actor ?

" I watched the sunset to-day from the top of
the Coliseum, and anything more beautiful can
scarcely be imagined. Oh ! the sweet blue
mountains that bound the wide Campagna. What
is so exquisite as the colouring and distinctness
of them ? And the setting sun threw its rosy
tints over the snowy peaks so far away, and
mingled with the purple of the nearer mountains ;
and the whole sky, unblemished by a single cloud,
was of the deepest blue, except at the horizon,
where the rose, orange, and blue all blended
wonderfully. Such a sky is never seen in
England, nor is such a sunset. Oh ! how much
I wish that I may spend many winters in glorious
Rome, and if I should not, this one, at least, will
never be forgotten. I don't think I ever enjoyed
myself so much or felt so strong and well as I
do now.
"Mr. Dean (late of Lewknor) is here now.
I saw him for a few moments the other day.
"Give my love to all the children, and tell

362 Carnival Gaieties.
them I hope they will have improved much in
acting by the time I return.
" Ever your most affectionate nephew."

" Rome, February 1, 1856.
" Dearest Aunt, — This being an ' evening at
home ' after four nights running of balls, your
nieces think they cannot employ it better than
in writing a condensed account of Carnival
gaieties, which may briefly be summed up under
three heads. The nights spent at balls, the
mornings in bed, and the afternoons on a
balcony in the Corso, where we pelted the friends
who were below in carriages with chalk, confetti,
bouquets, and sugar-plums. This latter amuse
ment was rare fun, and exactly what you would
enjoy; indeed your company has been much
wished for.
"The last two evenings have been extremely
pleasant. We so enjoyed the Borghese ball, as
there were hardly any English partners. We
considered ourselves very fortunate to get an
invitation. The Borgheses do not care much for
our compatriots. Last night our neighbours had
a little dance. To-day being a strict fast, Olivia
and I were in a great fright lest all the Italians
should take their departure at midnight, and lo !
they all marched away like Cinderellas as the
clock struck twelve. We thought it so pious and
right-minded of the young nobility tearing them-

End of the Carnival. 363
selves away from dancing in which they delight,
and of which they have so little this year.
" Lady S  very kindly asked us to come
to her balcony every afternoon during the Carnival,
but the fun in the Corso stopped to-day on
account of its being a feast ; to-morrow it stops
on account of its being a fast, and on Sunday
because it is Sunday. It recommences Monday
to end on Tuesday, and then everything will be
over, and we shall have nothing in the way of
gaieties except little tea-parties and conver
sations. " It seems rather peculiar to be having a quiet
evening, and much as I have enjoyed these balls,
I shall not altogether regret their cessation, as
we have been doing very little in the way of
seeing things lately. . . .
"Your most affectionate
* "Minima."
From Olivia.
"Ash Wednesday, 1856.
" The Carvinal has ended, and I have a bad
cold which quite prevented me from going to
church this morning, and which I did not
improve last night at the ' Moccoletti,' which
was great fun. After the pelting with confetti
was over, and after the horse-race down the
Corso, the people in the carriages and on the
balconies had lighted tapers, and the amusement
consisted in every one blowing out every one

364 Mr. Barker postpones his Departure.
else's taper. Rather a dangerous sport, don't
you think ? We went to our last ball on Monday
night at the French General's, but your gay
nieces' spirits are revived by hearing that there
is a chance of some more balls after Easter.
" Your friend, Mr. Dean, accompanied by Mr.
de Bamville, has arrived in Rome. Yesterday I
saw Mr. Dean for one minute on Lady Lothian's
stairs as we were coming away from her balcony.
He informed us that he was lodging with an
eminent ecclesiastic, but who it was I could not
discover. He told us also that his ' director '
was sitting below in a carriage, and lo ! when
we descended we perceived a stout old lady in
black. He said that he had grown very serious,
and that he meant to come and see us when the
Carnival was over."
Olivia proceeded to make a few remarks on
the barkings of Mr. Barker, but as the subject
caused her to feel uncharitable she would not
dwell on it. She had always been averse to
saying anything unkind of any one. The know
ledge that his gossiping stories had suggested
the expediency of our being removed from the
manifold delights of Rome, did cause some legi
timate irritation to which it was hard not to give
vent. Moreover, it was a trial that Mr. Barker,
instead of accepting his dismissal, would linger
on. He put off his departure from week to week,
and adduced the most frivolous reasons for doing

Advice from Protestant Relatives. 365
so. He did go away for ten days, but he came
back and remained apparently regardless of the
gene and discomfort that he caused both to us and
himself. For surely we must have appeared
quite as unreasonable and provoking to him as
he did to us. His pupil was the only one of
us he got on with well ; although he did not
possess sufficient tact and knowledge of the world
to be of the use to such a precocious "boy of
sixteen " that he might otherwise have been.
The storm of remonstrance and advice that his
behaviour brought upon us from our relatives
showed the strength of their Protestant prejudices.
I was annoyed that those prejudices should be
so plainly brought before my mother at a time
when it seemed that she was getting over them.
An additional difficulty was put in the way
of my embracing Catholicism. I had tried
to impress upon Mr. Barker that it was no
business of his if I did. My mother had told
him that we had no idea of becoming Catholics.
Great would have been his triumph had his
prediction proved correct with regard to any one
of us. " Rome, February 13, 1856.
"Beloved Aunt, — . . . Mama has a wretched
cold which never goes, and which makes her feel
very poorly. The constant going out at night does
not improve it, but she is so kind to us, and she
does not like that we should miss these pleasant

366 Mr. Dean in Rome.
parties. Would that you were here to be enter
tained by the varied specimens of the human
race we meet ! It is so interesting to see people
of all nations and countries. We are much dis
pleased with Uncle P  for talking of Italians
as ' scoundrels.' We consider them the ' salt of
the earth.'
" On Monday I went with Mrs. Scott-Murray,
Mr. Dean, and several other people, to some
Catacombs which have been recently discovered
about seven miles distant. After having explored
these, we had luncheon on the ground. This,
I dare say, sounds to you a cold proceeding, but
we in our Roman February did not find it so.
You would have been provoked, and you would
have made a repartee to which I was not equal,
had you been in my place when, on beginning
this repast, Mr. Dean glanced round the company,
and, fixing his eyes on me, remarked ' there was
one pagan present.' Mr. Dean was in his most
amusing mood, and in first-rate spirits. He told
me to tell you that that is coming to pass which
you did not anticipate could ever happen —
namely, that he is making great progress in the
government of his tongue, and is becoming very
serious. The proofs of this reformation were
manifested in occasional pauses when he was
about to say things, in order that he might con
sider whether, if he said them, he should be
misunderstood. He says that he is always being
misunderstood, even by his co-religionists, who

Visits to Studios. 367
suppose him to be wanting in fervour. He told
me that I could not imagine how often he nearly
choked in the effort to govern his tongue ! He
does not like having nothing to do here : otherwise
he enjoys Rome much. The Pope, I am told,
is interested in him, and he is to have a private
audience soon. Mr. Dean says that he hopes the
. Pope does not contemplate asking him to stay
always near his person.
" We went the other day to Di Rossi's studio.
He has just painted a large picture of the Resur
rection, in which the figure of the Angel who has
rolled away the stone is much talked about. I
cannot say that I altogether liked it. The expres
sion is contrary to my idea of the angelic — so
much of wonder and merely human emotion in
it. Lord S  has bought two pictures of this
artist — one of Judas casting down the money,
clever and original, although a very painful com
position ; the other is a mythological subject, to
which I much preferred one by the same artist
in the Raphaelesque style. This really was very
beautiful. " We went on to Tenerani's studio, the Italian
sculptor. His principal work is an Angel who
is represented as awaiting the moment when he
shall blow the trumpet of the resurrection.
There is wonderful calmness and sublimity in
the face, and indeed in the whole figure. It is
to be placed at the entrance of a mortuary chapel
somewhere in Hungary.

368 Over beck's Studio.
" Overbeck's studio is only to be seen on
Sunday. He is a most picturesque-looking old
man. There is a sketch here of his celebrated
picture at Frankfort, ' The Triumph of Christi
anity over the Arts.' In the centre of the upper
part of the picture is the Blessed Virgin with her
Divine Child. She represents Poetry as being
the foundation of all the arts, and holds a pen.
On the left are the Saints of the Old Testament,
with David, as Music, in the foreground, and
Solomon, and others. On the right are the Saints
of the New Testament — St. Luke in his character
of painter, St. John, as architect, from his descrip
tion of the New Jerusalem, being the most
prominent. A fountain is in the centre of the
picture, the water of which reaches to the clouds
beneath the Virgin's throne. This may represent
the aspiration of earthly art after the heavenly
ideal. There are two mirrors also. Are they
intended, I wonder, to symbolize the reflection
of Divine truths in earthly images, as in the
efforts of art ? On the left side of the fountain is
Raphael, in a white garment. Dante is reading.
Michael Angelo is seated, and in the act of
enjoining one of his scholars to listen to Dante.
On the right are some of the earlier painters —
Fra Angelico, Perugino, and Bartolommeo; and
beneath, both on the left and right side, the
development of secular and ecclesiastical art.
An Emperor is the principal figure in the one
group, and a Pope in the other group. The

Dome of St. Peter's. 369
architect of Strasbourg Cathedral is presenting
his plan to the Pope. Overbeck's outlines are
beautiful, but his colouring is weak. There
were many sketches that interested me exceed
ingly. His designs for the Seven Sacraments,
five of which are completed, I thought very
beautiful. " Now I must leave off, as we are going to the
Vatican. We hope that Mr. Palmer will accom
pany us to expound the Egyptian Museum. We
had a very nice afternoon with Mr. Wilberforce
at the Baths of Caracalla and the Palace of Nero.
Idle Olive does not like these afternoons on which
mama and I insist on seeing a good deal. We
don't think that we mean to return to the quiet
life at Clifton of which you remind us !
" Your affectionate " Minima."
Mother writes about our expedition to the
dome of St. Peter's : " How wonderful it is
looking down into the church from the galleries
of the cupola, and fearful also, for the height is
stupendous. Upon the roof of the church there
is quite a village, where the workmen live who
are always employed about the building. It was
so sunny, hot, and exquisite — and we looked over
the Campagna to the mountains and hills that
bound it, and on one side the sea, then on Rome
lying at our feet, the ruins in the distance ; and
such an interest shed over all ! I almost dread
Y

370 The Offices of Holy Week.
the thoughts of leaving Rome. I have a feeling
about it which no other place with the exception
of Jerusalem could inspire, and there the feeling
would be still deeper and more reverent. It is a
great privilege to be in a place where the Apostles
were — where they laboured and suffered."
The Diario Romano is a useful little publication.
It tells, amongst other things, in what churches
are " the Stations " each day. During Lent we
used to visit these churches. Thus we saw many
of the very oldest, and some which are not open
at other times.
In Holy Week we took part for the first time
in the beautiful Offices with which the Church
celebrates that solemn season. Of late years the
Ritualist party have, I believe, succeeded in their
efforts to introduce some of these touching
services into the Anglican churches, as they have
also the triumphant Alleluias of Easter. But in
my youth nothing of the sort had been attempted.
My mother used to lament that, with the excep
tion of the Psalms and Lessons, there was nothing
to distinguish Good Friday from Easter Day. The
latter was not more festive than was the former.
Good Friday was indeed the day that Evangelicals
mostly selected on which to partake of the Lord's
Supper. What day, they asked, could be better
fitted for that commemorative rite ? To them it
was a rite merely — not a feast.
It was, then, in Rome that I first learnt to

Holy Week in Rome. 371
understand the beauty and the pathos of the
Lamentations of the Prophet, though each suc
ceeding year has added something to my realiza
tion of their depth and tenderness. But my first
associations with them were in Rome; the
associations, that is, which connect the Lamenta
tions with the mourning of the Church over the
Death of her Spouse, and over the transgressions
of the Divine Law which caused that death,
Lamentations which suggest the unfathomable
evil of sin, the desolation, the ruin, and the misery
that it causes.
" How doth the city sit solitary that was full of
people ! how is the mistress of nations become as
a widow. . .
" Weeping she hath wept in the night, and her
tears are on her cheek : there is none to comfort
her among all that were dear to her. . .
" And from the beauty of Sion all her beauty is
departed.". .
Sin — the havoc wrought by sin — how is it told
in the wailing of this solemn Office, and how also
the tenderness of Divine mercy in the oft-repeated
pleading :
"Jerusalem, Jerusalem, be converted to the
Lord thy God."
"O My chosen vineyard, it is I that have
planted thee : How art thou become so bitter that
thou shouldst crucify Me and release Barabbas ? "

372 Good Friday.

From my Mother.
" Rome, Easter Monday, 1856.
" It was really impossible to write last week ;
what with our own church and with attending the
services and ceremonies at St. Peter's, we really
had not a spare moment. Each day we came
home so knocked up that we could do no more
than have tea and go to bed, and get as much rest
as we could before beginning again the next day,
"The crowd in the Sistine chapel was so dense
that we could not manage to hear the Miserere
there. We stood at the door on Friday for some
time, but people would talk ; this prevented us
from hearing well, so we went to the chapel in
St. Peter's, where the Miserere was most beauti
fully sung. A good many Psalms were sung first.
As each Psalm is finished a candle is put out, so
when the Miserere begins there are no lights, and
the church is almost in darkness. On Good
Friday the one hundred and twelve lamps which
usually burn round the high altar in St. Peter's
are extinguished. You can't think how strangely
quiet Rome seemed that evening. No bells ring,
nor do the clocks strike. There was complete
and unwonted stillness, for ordinarily so many
bells are to be heard.
" Certainly it was a very fine sight yesterday
to see the Pope give his blessing to the thousands
who were kneeling in the Piazza of St. Peter's.
We saw it from a balcony on the Colonnade. I

Illumination of St. Peter's. 373

cannot describe the effect of that immense multi
tude of soldiers and people on their knees, and
of the Pope's clear, beautiful voice pronouncing
the words of benediction.
" In the evening there was the illumination of
St. Peter's, which was unlike anything one had
ever seen before. We could have seen it very
well from our windows. We went, however, to
a friend's house where there is a balcony over
hanging the Tiber. There I sat in the dark,
looking down on the river and on St. Peter's
opposite. The moon threw a light over different
parts of Rome, and it was very beautiful.
" We could not contrive to see the Pope wash
the feet of the pilgrims, but we went to the other
ceremony of The Supper. It was a terrible crush
to get in. Fortunately we were befriended by a
French officer, who took us straight through ranks
of soldiers, and though we had not tickets, he got
us capitally placed in the Sala Regia. The Pope,
Cardinals, &c, came in, and we saw the Pope
wait on the pilgrims, and Monsignori bring in the
dishes. " This is such a summer's day ; a cloudless
sky, the birds singing, and all so lovely. I
cannot bear to think of leaving Italy ! "
From Olivia.
" Easter Monday, 1856.
"... I believe mama has told you nearly all
that is to be told about our goings on, but

374 Washing of the Pilgrims' Feet.
perhaps she has not mentioned the washing of
the pilgrims' feet by the ladies, which we went to
see on Friday evening. I thought that this was
just the sort of thing a High Church friend of
yours would like to get up in his parish. We
went with an Italian lady, who was one of the
washers, a very nice person. By going with her
we escaped the crush and crowd. The Princess
Lancilotti is at the head of this congregation
of ladies ; they wore a very pretty costume.
They first washed the pilgrims' feet, which were
not over clean, and which they had to rub with
their hands, not with soap or sponges ! Then
they gave the pilgrims a supper and put them to
bed. We only remained to see the first operation
performed, for it was past eight, and we were
getting tired. Indeed I am glad that at last there
is nothing more to see, and that we may have a
little rest."
By this time we had so many friends in Rome
that our letters are mostly filled with anecdotes
of them, accounts of a few more balls which took
place after Easter, horse-races in the Campagna,
expeditions to Tivoli and Albano, afternoons in
the villas — those lovely villas, many of which
have now been destroyed to make room for the
straight rows of vulgar houses that modern Italy
delights in — and increasing lamentations at the
prospect of our approaching departure from
Rome.

The Vatican Library. 375

" How low we feel ! I am soon going to set
myself to make out a route, as Mr. Cleveland
would say; but alas! we can get up no enthu
siasm for the dear old German towns about
which he used to go into such ecstasies. Augs
burg, Nuremburg, Bamburg, Wiirtzburg— all the
Burgs — what attractions can they offer after
Italy ? Olivia hates the very sound of them.
"Mama and I were saying yesterday that
we were falling, or had fallen, into a state of
'dreamful ease,' from which we try in vain to
rouse ourselves. We hope it is merely a passing
state, the effect of the climate, and that if it is
our fate to return to our ' island home,' we shall
be as inclined for ' the trivial round and common
task' as you seem to be. Mr. Dean, who has
just been here, declares that he longs to find
himself under the tree in Lystone Garden, and
that he prefers the common there to the
Campagna, and its climate to that of Rome. So
do not your nieces.
" There is a great decrease in the gaieties now.
This makes us feel rather dissatisfied, for we
have sociable dispositions and we like to see our
friends. " We spent a profitable time in the library of
the Vatican, with a friend who knew what to ask
for. We began with looking at the rooms and
the frescoes, and devoted the time that remained
to the manuscripts. This valuable collection is not
generally visible. The manuscripts are locked up

376 Pius the Ninth.
in cupboards, so that, as ' Murray ' says, you
may walk through the whole gallery without
knowing that you are surrounded by the richest
literary treasures in the world. You have to
name the MS. that you wish to see, and then it
is brought out.
"April 23. — This morning, as we were having
an Italian lesson, we were told that two gentle
men wished to see the frescoes in our apartment,
for which we obligingly gave permission. They
proved to be the son of Prince Albert of Prussia
and an uninteresting companion, who paid more
attention to the frescoes and less to the young
ladies than did the former. The Prince is a very
nice-looking youth : he professed himself much
shocked at intruding on us."
Olivia described our interview with His Holiness
Pius IX.: "There were so many people to be
presented that we had to wait a full hour, if not
more, before our turn came. When it did
come the interview only lasted about five minutes.
We had to make a very low curtsey at the door
as we went into the room where the Pope received
us all alone, another curtsey when we had got
half-way up the room, and yet another when we
approached him. He was quite charming, and
has such a very benevolent smile. Although he
only said a few commonplace things, he said them
so kindly and so prettily. He is not at all a person
to be afraid of, and yet, I did feel a little bit

Painful Feelings. 377

nervous at the time. Prince Massimo told us
last night that if he had known we were going,
he would have arranged for Princess Massimo to
have accompanied us. , Then they would have
told the Pope about us, and we should have had a
longer audience."
Thus wrote Olivia.
I do not think that under the circumstances
I myself should have cared for a longer audience,
for I was obliged to approach the Holy Father
as an alien and a foreigner, and not as his dutiful,
devoted child. I felt guilty and insincere. There
was a pain at my heart. Would not this pain
have been increased had the interview been
longer ? It was possible indeed that it might .
have been otherwise. I might have been impelled
to give utterance to the desire of my heart, ' Holy
Father ! let me become your child.' Oh, that
my good Angel could have prevailed, and have
delivered me from the fetters of British reserve
and correct demeanour, which have withheld so
many from obeying the best impulses of their
souls !
Dear Angel ! you did what you could, but my
folly was great. What must you have thought of
me? Why did I not kneel? Why did I only
curtsey, as I should have done to a mere temporal
Sovereign? Might not the Bishops of the
Established Church of England rise up and
condemn me ? Do they not kneel to do homage

2,yS One greater than Queen Victoria.
to their supreme Head ? 1 And was there not
here one greater than Queen Victoria — the lineal
successor of him who derived his right to rule
the Flock from the sacred lips of the Divine
Shepherd Himself? 1 See note, p. 279.

CHAPTER XI.
Regret at leaving Rome. Assisi. Dante's description of
St. Francis and his Bride. Florence in 1856. Thoughts
suggested by the old painters.
The Baths of Lucca. A summer in Tuscany. Extracts from
books. The Divina Commedia.
A second winter in Rome. Drive in the Campagna. Children's
First Communion in a convent. Monsignor George Talbot.
The Aurora Mass in St. Peter's on Christmas morning. Miss
Congleton. New Year's Eve at the Gesii.
San Lorenzo. Queen Christina. Lady Lothian. Dr. Manning.
Candlemas day. Illness and death of Robert Isaac Wilber
force. Consecration of the Bishop of Clifton in the Sistine
chapel. Dr. Manning's sermons. The different impressions
which these sermons produced. Devotion to the Blessed Virgin.
Sermon on poverty of spirit. Reflections. Holy Week services.
Easter Sunday.
Visits to sites connected with the holy Apostles. St. Philip
Neri's delight in making the pilgrimage to the Seven Churches.
It was with very great regret that we said good
bye to Rome. Even had there been a prospect
of our returning (as in fact we did return the
following winter), we should still have been sad
enough. We had come abroad only for a year.
Nearly eleven months had passed. We were
now to pay a visit in Germany. After that
should be finished it seemed but too likely that
we should resume the country life in England
which we had formerly led. And so the farewell

380 Visit to Assisi.
to Rome was heartbreaking. During the first
few hours of our journey, although the city was
entirely hidden from view, we were consoled by
the sight of the mighty dome of St. Peter's. At
last that too vanished from our gaze, and we
were disconsolate indeed.
Our journey to Florence by vetturino occupied
six days. We took the longer route by Narni,
Spoleto, Perugia, and Arezzo. We spent two
nights at Perugia in order that we might see that
city and visit Assisi. How lovely Assisi was both
in itself and in its associations ! The spirit of
St. Francis seemed to linger amid the scenes of
his earthly life, and to impart to them a sacred
charm. It was here that Francis had wooed and
won that bride for the love of whom he did not
shrink from encountering the wrath and ill-
treatment of his father. Dante has told us how
the bride of Francis had, during more than a
thousand and one years, remained a widow,
unsought, unknown, and uncared for, although
she could bring a dowry to him who should wed
her — a rich dowry such as no other had to give —
the possession of peace and security in a world
of sorrow and of strife. So beautiful was she
that Christ her Lord would not be parted from
her in His Death ; He invited her to ascend the
Cross with Him when He left His Mother at its
foot. Holy poverty was the name of her whom
Francis made his companion for life. Dante has

St. Francis and Holy Poverty. 381
recorded moreover how the sweetness, and peace,
and joy which illumined the face of Francis when
this loving union had been consummated, filled
the minds of others with holy thoughts, and how
first one and then another would bare his feet
and eagerly follow the happy pair ; and how for
all their eagerness and all their haste, it seemed
to themselves that they were but slow and
slothful in their progress towards their longed-for
goal, the goal of peace which Francis and holy
poverty bequeathed as an inheritance to their
children.1 In his magnificent " Canticle of the Sun,"
Francis prays that the Most High may be praised
and glorified by every creature, by the sun, the
moon, and the stars, by wind and cloud, by water
and fire, by our mother earth, and lastly by those
who pardon injuries for love of their Lord, and
who toil and suffer with patience, and who bear
their infirmities with a joyful spirit. He concludes :
Beati sono quei che in pace vivono perche saranno in
1 La lor concordia e i lor lieti sembianti
Amore e maraviglia e dolce sguardo
Facean esser cagion de' pensier santi ;
Tanto che '1 venerabile Bernardo
Si scalzo prima, e dietro a tanta pace
Corse, e correndo gli parv' esser tardo.
O ignota ricchezza, o ben verace !
Scalzasi Egidio, e scalzasi Silvestro,
Dietro alio spose, si la sposa piace. (Paradiso, canto xi.)

382 Florence.

cielo coronati! — "Blessed are they who live in
peace, for they shall be crowned in Heaven ! "

If the interest of Florence was of a different
character from that of Rome, the two cities had
this at least in common, that the longer we
stayed in either city the less inclined did we feel
to tear ourselves away from it.
It is a cause for thankfulness to have visited
both cities before the "modern improvements."
San Miniato was yet unspoiled, the interior of
Santa Maria Novella had not been restored, nor
bereft of its fine Cantoria, and the picturesque
old walls that surrounded the city with their
characteristic gateways remained in their integrity.
True, the lovers of art find some compensation for
much that has been taken away, in the free access
now allowed them to the deserted Convent of
San Marco, decorated with the frescoes of Fra
Angelico. The whitewash has been in later years
removed from the walls of some chapels in the
Church of Santa Croce ; and now are disclosed
to view those scenes from the life of St. Francis
of Assisi, and the two St. Johns which were
portrayed by Giotto, and which have been so
greatly praised by that ardent admirer of Giotto,
Mr. Ruskin.
On this occasion we were living in the Piazza
of Santa Maria Novella. The frescoes in that
church, and in the Cappella degli Spagnuoli of

Tuscan and Venetian Painters. 383

the adjoining Chiostro Verde, afforded us much
enjoyment. Mornings in Florence had not then
been written, and so we contemplated the frescoes
in this cappella without the aid of Mr. Ruskin's
original interpretations !
Florence no doubt is the place in which to
begin the study of painting, and Venice in which
to complete it. One should go to Venice last.
No other school, as a whole, can compare with
the Venetian for gorgeousness of colour, and for
fertility of imagination, although the works of
individual painters, such as Raffaelle or Leonardo,
may surpass those of the Venetian school.
It was an idea of mine that it is only the
second-rate men who have succeeded in doing
their very best. It seemed to me that the greatest
men have never done quite as much as they
might have done. Their actual work always fell
short of their capabilities. Entranced as we
might be with their masterpieces, there remained
the secret feeling that they might nevertheless
have done better. When a man's work im
pressed me with the conviction that he had
done his best I felt as if that man was not
of the first order of genius. The paintings of
Perugino, and Titian, and Andrea del Sarto,
satisfied me. Could these painters have produced
anything greater than their greatest work? I
thought not. Of course Titian must be seen at
Venice, and Andrea del Sarto at Florence, and
the master of Raffaelle in his own native city of

384 Lessons from Christian Painters.
Perugia. Thus seen, it appears to me that there
was a sense of completeness and finish in the
works of these masters that left nothing to be
desired. But it was different with Raffaelle and
Tintoretto and Leonardo. Of a higher order of
genius to my mind than the three former, the
very greatness of their genius impressed me
with a sense of incompleteness, and made me
long for something greater. Surely men who had
done so much might have done something more.
Or was it that the ver)' greatness of these men
consisted in suggesting to us the idea of a beauty
and perfection which could never be realized on
earth ?
And yet how very much they had done. How
vividly had they shown in their paintings that
spirit of faith which was in them ! What had
they not told us about the Infancy of our Lord !
How lovingly had Fra Angelico traced for us
the history of His Life on earth, and set Him
before us in each mystery of the Passion, never
losing sight in the midst of His deepest humilia
tions that He was in very truth the Son of God !
How had these Christian painters familiarized us
with the stories of the saints ! what distinctness
they gave to our conceptions of the saints ! To
their pictures might we go to be taught lessons
from these heroes of our race, and to increase
our love and devotion. Often did I regret that
St. Ignatius Loyola and St. Philip Neri lived
when art was in its decline, and that no painter

The Baths of Lucca. 385

had arisen to tell us about these saints secrets
such as Fra Angelico has told us about St.
Dominic, and Giotto about St. Francis of
Assisi. We could not see half that there was to be
seen during this first visit to Florence. The heat
of an Italian summer was beginning, and before
June was ended the pavements were quite scorch
ing. Our reluctance, however, to leave Italy did
but increase every day. We betook ourselves,
therefore, to the Baths of Lucca, as a refuge from
the extreme heat, and as a convenient halting-
place till we could resolve on our future plans.
That place consisted of three villages. The one
that was called the Bagni alia Villa, was con
sidered the most respectable, and in every respect
the most desirable, by some English acquaint
ances of ours who resided there — perhaps because
of its vicinity to the English chapel. Our friends
secured for us a pleasant little villa in a garden.
Here we took up our abode for three or four
months with the hope of being able to remain
another winter in Italy. That it was dull after
Rome is not to be denied. There is always
something depressing in a valley. It was
to its being in a valley, and the consequently
early disappearance of the sun, that this place
owed its comparative coolness. We had to get
accustomed to there being hardly any twilight.
We forgot this at first. We found ourselves
benighted in our walks amid the chestnut-woods,
z

386 Some Reflections of Macaulay
darkness coming on suddenly when we were far
from home.
If some time of solitude and abstinence from
all mundane gaieties were needed as a penance
for our dissipation during the winter, we got it
here. There were no temptations to worldliness
and frivolity, though there might be not a few to
indolence. In northern climes I find boredom
is the inevitable result of doing nothing. It is
not so in Italy, especially in the summer. There
is something delightful and satisfying in the mere
fact of existence. I never experienced in Italy
that feeling of ennui which an unoccupied life in
less-favoured lands would inevitably cause. How
ever, I got through a fair amount of reading, and
I resumed the practice of writing in my note
book remarks that interested me in books, together
with thoughts that were suggested by these
remarks. From one of the later volumes of his History
of England was taken the following passage in
which Macaulay accounts for the fact that the
Roman Catholic Church numbers amongst her
converts so many of the profoundest intellects.
"No powers of mind," he says, "constitute a
security against errors in religion. Touching
God and His ways with man, the highest human
faculties can discover little more than the meanest.
In theology the interval is small indeed between
Aristotle and a child, between Archimedes and a

on Converts to Catholicism. i>%7
naked savage. It is not strange, therefore, that
wise men, weary of investigation, tormented by
uncertainty, longing to believe something, and
yet seeing objections to everything, should submit
themselves absolutely to teachers, who with firm
and undoubting faith, lay claim to a supernatural
commission. And thus we frequently see inquisi
tive and restless spirits take refuge from their
own scepticism in the bosom of a Church which
pretends to infallibility. . ,"
It is not quite easy to determine how far
Macaulay approves or disapproves of the conduct
of these men whom he designates as wise. They
are longing for truth and have reeognized their
own inability to discover it. They see that there
is a Church which claims to have a Divine
commission to teach. They satisfy themselves
with regard to the reality of her claim, and then
they submit unquestioningly to the teaching of
this divinely appointed messenger. Certainly this
seems a wise and a sensible thing to do. The
Church which " pretends to infallibility " can
make good her pretension, to the satisfaction of
the wise, as well as to that of "the inquisitive
and restless spirits " who are drawn to " take
refuge in her bosom." But Macaulay rather
insinuates that these are driven to it in spite of
themselves as their only escape from scepticism.
Stanley's Life of Dr. Arnold, and Niehbuhr's
History of Rome, were two books that I borrowed

388 Intellectual difficulties of Religion.
from the library attached to the English church
at the Bagni. I found much that described my
own perplexities in Dr. Arnold's letters, and much
that I liked, although in applying his words to
myself, I used them often in a sense which was
different to that in which he used them. Thus
where he wrote " Christianity," I wrote " Catho
licism." " We cannot and do not pretend," he
said, "to remove all the intellectual difficulties of
religion ; we only contend that even intellectually
unbelief is the more unreasonable of the two, and
that practically unbelief is folly, and faith is
wisdom." In another page he writes : " If I were talking
with an atheist, I should lay a great deal of
stress on faith as a necessary condition of our
nature, and as a gift of God to be earnestly
sought for in the way which God has appointed,
that is, by striving to do His will. For faith
does no violence to our understandings ; but the
intellectual difficulties being balanced, and it
being necessary to act on the one side or the
other, faith determines a man to embrace that
side which leads to moral and practical perfec
tion ; and unbelief leads him to embrace the
opposite, or what I may call the devil's religion,
which is, after all, quite as much beset with
intellectual difficulties as God's religion is, and
morally is nothing but one mass of difficulties
and monstrosities. You may say that the indi
vidual in question is a moral man, and you think

Dr. Arnold's Views. 389
not unwilling to be convinced of his errors : that
is, he sees the moral truth of Christianity, but
cannot be persuaded of it intellectually. I should
say that such a state of mind is one of very
painful trial, and should be treated as such : that
it is a state of mental disease, which like many
others is aggravated by talking about it, and that
he is in great danger of losing his perception of
moral truth as well as of intellectual, of wishing
Christianity to be false as well as of being unable
to be convinced that it is true. There are
thousands of Christians who see the difficulties
which he sees quite as clearly as he does, and
who long as eagerly as he can do for that time
when they shall know even as they are known.
But then they see clearly the difficulties of un
belief and know that even intellectually they are
far greater. And in the meanwhile they are
contented to live by faith, and find that in so
doing their course practically is one of perfect
light: the moral result of the experiment is so
abundantly satisfactory that they are sure that
they have truth on their side."
"Faith does no violence to our understandings."
" Faith determines a man to embrace that side
which leads to moral and practical perfection."
"Practically, unbelief is folly, and faith is
wisdom." This was the conclusion to which Dr. Arnold
came with regard to belief in Christianity in the

390 Moral Fault of Unbelief.
imperfect form in which Christianity came before
him. I asked myself, " Might not I also come to
the same conclusion with regard to Catholicism?"'
To my mind Catholicism presented fewer intel
lectual difficulties than did Protestantism.
In this letter Dr. Arnold goes on to say that
he does not believe that conscientious atheism
exists. I thought he was right in thus believing.
I was not, however, quite satisfied with all that
he said on this subject.
He seemed to make too much of intellectual
difficulties with regard to the existence of God,
and to suggest that the arguments for and against
the existence of God were pretty evenly balanced.
Therefore perplexity and doubt might be the
portion of a good man to the end of his days.
" His goodness will save him from unbelief, but
not from the misery of scanty faith. . . . The
assumption that God is, or is not, depends on the
degree of moral pain which a man feels in relin
quishing the idea of God. And here," Dr. Arnold
thinks, "is the moral fault of unbelief: that a
man can bear to make so great a moral sacrifice
as is implied in renouncing God. He makes
the greatest moral sacrifice to obtain partial
satisfaction to his intellect : a believer ensures
the greatest moral perfection, with partial satis
faction to his intellect also : entire satisfaction to
the intellect is, and can be, attained by neither."
I thought that Dr. Arnold could not mean that
which these words implied, namely, that the'

The Divina Commedia. 391

intellect cannot be entirely satisfied with regard
to the existence of God.1 Perhaps he meant that
in the Divine existence there must be mysteries
which no human intellect could grasp. But
then, why might not man's intellect be entirely
satisfied with that which is a necessity of its
finite condition ?
My principal study at the Baths of Lucca— a
study with which the summer days that we spent
there will ever be asociated — was the Divina
Commedia. This I read right through from
beginning to end, in Italian. My edition had
copious notes which explained the historical
allusions and obscure passages. Without such
notes it would have been impossible to under
stand the poem. However thorough might be
the reader's knowledge of the Italian language,
the mere text would be unintelligible without
some insight into contemporary history and
ideas. The minor personages who are mentioned
inspired me with an interest similar to that which
I felt for the donors who are so often introduced
into the pictures of the great painters. They
played but subordinate parts in a great drama,
but they had nevertheless their value and their
interest. 1 The Vatican Council says, "Holy Mother Church holds
and teaches that God the beginning and end of all things, may
certainly be known by the natural light of human reason through
created things : for the invisible things of Him, from the creation
of the world, are clearly seen, being understood by the things
that are made." (Romans i. 20.)

392 Effect of Dante 's Descriptions.
It was not, however, as a mere work of imagi
nation, or as a contribution to history, that I
regarded the Divina Commedia. There was a
vividness in Dante's descriptions which brought
the spiritual world before me in a way that it had
never been brought hitherto. Hell and Purgatory
and Heaven no longer appeared shadowy and
indistinct. They came before me as realities.
They were going on now, and our lives, that
were seemingly so commonplace, were connected
with these realities in wonderful and mysterious
ways. I thought that Dante's narrative must be
of scenes that he had actually witnessed, and of
conversations in which he had taken part, so
life-like was his account of his journey to the
world of spirits.
Very quiet and uneventful were the three
months that we spent at the Baths of Lucca.
We had gone there with the hope of returning to
Rome. Some time, however, elapsed before this
hope seemed likely to be realized. At last, to our
great joy, it was decided that we should spend
another winter and spring in Italy.
It was when we were once more on our way to
Rome that my mother wrote from
" La Scala, November n, 1856.
" We are now halting for our mid-day meal
(which is very long in making its appearance), at
a small and dirty inn standing alone on the

Journey from Florence. 393
roadside. The country all around is bleak and
desolate. One can easily understand how land
lord and brigands would have it all their own
way hereabouts. However, there are now no
brigands to be feared in Tuscany. In the Papal
States we are told that they are sometimes met
with. " We left Florence yesterday morning at seven
o'clock. It was a lovely bright morning, but
cold. The girls were very sorry to say farewell
to Florence. They have had much enjoyment in
seeing the beautiful works of art that it contains,
and they have made good use of their time.
Most of our way yesterday was through lovely
country, highly cultivated and smiling. The
environs of Florence are beautiful on all sides.
When we arrived at Siena it was dark. We
could see nothing of the Cathedral or gallery and
other objects of interest there. We were off
again at six the next morning. We hope to
return at a future period when the days will be
longer and the weather more propitious."
This letter was finished by me as follows :
" Mama had only written these few lines ere
she was called away to her mid-day meal. This
consisted of various species of fowl, and was on
the whole more fanciable than we had dared to
expect. I take up the thread of the narrative
from Bolsena, where we are halting in the middle
of the day. Ever since we left Siena, the country

394 -A Night at Radicofani.
has been singularly dreary and desolate. So at
least it appeared to us. We saw it however
under unfavourable circumstances, for rain began
yesterday afternoon and has continued ever since.
There was a howling wind and a dense fog as we
ascended the mountain of Radicofani, on the top
of which stood the inn that was to be our resting-
place for the night. When we arrived we were
informed that there were no rooms to be had.
All the rooms that were still unoccupied were
being reserved for Lady Lothian and several
people who were travelling with her. Our
vetturino had neglected to take the precaution of
securing rooms for us. Mother was in despair.
The landlord was most unsympathizing and very
unaccommodating, and we were so tired. How
ever, when Lady Lothian did at last arrive, she
yery kindly gave up to us what must have been
the best room, as there was an inscription over
the door which recorded that Pius VII. had slept
there. Some of Lady Lothian's party were very
wet when they arrived, one of their carriages
being open. It was such a dreadful night. The
wind was tremendous. When at last, however,
a room was assigned to us, we managed to make
ourselves very comfortable till the early hour for
rising arrived.
" We left Florence with regret, having passed
a very pleasant time there, and Mr. Aubrey de
Vere came the day before we left and paid us
a long visit. We were so delighted to see him

Halt at Setti Vene. 395
again. He talks of coming to Rome in about
a fortnight. He had spent some days at Spezzia
visiting Shelley's haunts."
" Setti Vene, Thursday, November 13.
"We are arrived at our last night's resting-
place by broad daylight. It is a solitary inn
round which the wind is whistling, situated on
the confines of the Campagna, only twenty miles
from Rome. At present there are no other
travellers here, all the carriages which have
accompanied us on our road hitherto, as they
were posting, have gone on to Rome. We might
also be wending our way thither were it not for
some tiresome regulation for which I believe
mama's friend Prince Massimo is partly re
sponsible. This regulation forbids vetturini to
do the whole journey in one day.
" We have not been in as great a fright about
brigands as we expected to be, for though the
road is extremely desolate and lonely, we con
stantly met with other travellers. It did, however,
give us a shock when an old lady, travelling in
her own carriage, swept by, escorted by three
gens d'armes. Last night we were out rather late,
but there was another carriage near us containing
two Neapolitans. These ' noblemen ' afterwards
partook of a collation in the room where we were
having tea. They were young and good-looking.
As they took it for granted that we did not
understand their language, they talked about us

396 Second Winter in Rome.
in a low voice. This amused us, as fortunately
what they said was flattering. They looked at
mama and observed, La madre e ben conservata.
They made a few more remarks in her praise.
I think it was Olivia who they thought resembled
a ritratto di Tiziano. On entering the room they
surveyed us, and one said to the other, Belle
femmine ! They breakfasted earlier than we did,
and they have already started for Rome, so now
we are left alone on the road. May the remainder
of the jpurney be accomplished without an attack
from brigands ! The contadini whom we pass
are attired in a somewhat brigandish and very
picturesque manner. We often see ominous-
looking bands of three or four men who turn out
after all to be only peaceable shepherds !
" Can it be true that to-morrow we shall behold
the Dome?"
Thus after all our hopes and fears we found
ourselves again in our beloved Rome. Very
delighted we were. I did not share the predilec
tion that some people have for novelty. I cared
much more for places when I knew them well, and
when they had gathered round them not only
the associations of their own history, but also
those of mine. Rome especially requires to be
known. Then we had many friends there. We
did not feel that we were strangers. There was
no Mr. Barker to make tactless and unsympa
thetic remarks. On the other hand, we had not

Monte Mario. 397
the beautiful view over Rome that our apartment
of the previous winter commanded. We missed
Charlie, and my mother's spirits were depressed
on account of his absence. She was very unwell
this winter. Thus her letters are rather melan
choly. " We have just had a lovely drive with Mr. de
Vere," she wrote. " We went to Monte Mario
and walked in the grounds of the uninhabited
villa, from whence the view over Rome and the
Campagna is quite exquisite. It was a little
before sunset, and the colouring upon the now
snowy mountains and on the Sabine Hills was
beautiful. And then the purple light at their
base, and-, the Alban Hills which are lower, and
have a thinner coating of snow upon them, and
St. Peter's standing up so grandly against the
sky, I can't tell you how lovely it was ! I hope
if I live to be old, that the delight I take in
nature will never be lessened. It is such a
superior pleasure to almost all others.
"We saw Mr. Wilberforce this afternoon. He
is going to be a priest after all, and is now at the
College studying. He stood by the carriage and
had a talk; he mentioned having had a letter
from his brother (the Bishop). I should think
that they must be very attached brothers.
" There were a good many people at Princess
Lancellotti's last night. One never knows before
hand whether there will be many or few at these
Italian receptions. I sat by Princess Doria when

398 Meeting the Pope in the Campagna.
we first went in. She is in deep mourning for
her mother and for Lord Shrewsbury. I had
a very nice talk with her, and we are going to her
on Friday evening. She will have no grand
receptions this year, on account of her mourning.
Lady Lothian was there also, and I much enjoyed
my little conversation with her. She is one of
the most really holy people I know. We never
discuss doctrine, so pray don't imagine that I am
running into danger !
" December 12. — I was driving with Mrs. Y 
in the Campagna yesterday afternoon, and as we
were coming home we met the Pope. He was
walking, and it was a pretty sight to see him
coming in his red cloak, attended by Monsignor
Talbot and by one or two more. The Noble Guard
followed on horseback, and the Pope's carriage.
We had to get out of our carriage to make a low
reverence as he passed. In return he gave us
his blessing. He has such a kind, thoroughly
benevolent countenance. There were two or
three poor people in the road who knelt as soon
as they saw him coming, to receive his blessing,
and one of his attendants gave these poor people
money. I have often seen the Pope go by in his
carriage, but I had not seen him on foot before.
It was really an interesting sight, taking place as
it did in the Campagna. There was such an
exquisite glow over everything.
" Mrs. Y  was saying that on one's first
return to England one misses the colouring of

Happiness and Sorrow. 399
Italy so very much ; that at first the cloudy sky
and comparatively small amount of sunshine quite
depressed her. She told me a little about her
past life. She said that it had been so singularly
happy and prosperous that sometimes it almost
made her tremble. She had really hardly had
a trial of any sort. I suppose that she has not
needed trial to draw her heart to God. She
appears to have a loving, grateful spirit. Cannot
we imagine God in His love and mercy delighting
to spare all His children sorrow, when His work
can be done in their souls without it — when in
the midst of happiness and prosperity, a heart
can be as devoted to Him as other hearts are
only after long years of sorrow and trial ? It is
not often that one meets a person of our time
of life who has had no trials to undergo."
It was a theory of my mother's that it was
easier to love God in the midst of worldly
prosperity than in adversity. We used to tell
her that this was an un-Scriptural theory, and
that the Bible said, "Whom the Lord loveth He
chasteneth," and "Blessed are they that mourn."
She said that to her it was easier to realize the
love of God when she was happy, and when
everything was going smoothly, than in times of
sorrow. I cannot say that this is my experience.
The letter continues, " Minima and I went
before eight o'clock this morning to a convent in
Trastevere to see fifty girls receive their First
Communion. It was a sight I wanted to witness,

400 A First Communion in Rome.
and in some respects it was very interesting, but
there were things I did not like. They were
poor girls. A number of their friends and relatives
were present, who seemed much moved during
the service. After the Cardinal Archbishop had
gone into the chapel and to the altar, the girls
came in, in procession, all dressed in white, with
long veils and a little crown of flowers. Each
girl carried a lighted candle. They knelt the
whole time. They seemed a good deal excited.
They came in crying, and cried throughout the
service, except while the Archbishop was going
round administering Holy Communion, and
that was really very impressive — there was such
a hush, only sobs occasionally. But what seemed
strange was that, while he was saying Mass, a
priest was all the time preaching to the girls
most energetically, and to my mind this spoilt
the service. I longed for him to be quiet. I
suppose his sermon, or rather address, was very
exciting, for every now and then the girls burst
out into a loud cry. He had an immense deal of
action." Well do I remember that very vehement
exhortation which I could not enjoy, because I
felt it must be shocking my mama. Mgr. Talbot
had arranged for us to attend this ceremony.
He told me afterwards that he had begged the
preacher to be as quiet as he could. This fervent
priest certainly was anything but quiet. However,
as Lady Lothian said, the great thing was that

An Ordination. 401
the girls should be edified, and they were Italian,
not English girls, and their ideas were very
different from ours !
Mgr. (George) Talbot had been absent from
Rome the previous winter, so we had only just
made his acquaintance. We saw a good deal
of him.
A High Church friend of my mother's, Miss
Celia Congleton, arrived in Rome. She was
rather a character. She possessed an unfailing
fund of good-humour and merriment. Mama
enjoyed her society very much, and they had
many talks on " Church matters."
Mama writes on December 22nd : " Celia went
with us on Saturday to San Giovanni Laterano
to see the ordination of priests and deacons.
It was an extremely interesting sight, and one
I much wished to see. The service was very
solemn. I was particularly struck with one of
the deacons ; he seemed so wrapt in devotion.
Celia was exceedingly pleased with the service,
and I liked it more almost than any I have seen
in the Roman Church. Had I thoroughly under
stood the meaning of everything, I might have
appreciated it yet more. But the Cardinal Vicar
of Rome has not the unction that our Samuel has.
"December 28. — On Christmas Eve we went
to bed soon after seven, to ensure a good rest
before going to St. Peter's. I got a good sleep,
AA

402 Aurora Mass in St. Peter's.
and did not hear Celia (who was going with us)
arrive at ten o'clock to take possession of the
sofa in the drawing-room. She came to call us
at one, looking so merry. She had kept up such
a nice fire. The room was so warm and looked
very cosy when we came a little before two o'clock
to have coffee. Then the carriage drove up, and
we stept out into the night. It was mild, but
there were dark clouds about. St. Peter's, as we
entered it, looked so solemn and grand. There
were lights dim and few, and people already
kneeling in different parts. We had soon to take
our places in the chapel in which the service was
to be. The music was beautiful — finer than last
year. We heard Matins. The Aurora Mass
followed, and we were nearly five hours in
St. Peter's. It was Palestrina's music, and so
very exquisite. I quite long to hear it again.
The day was dawning when we left, a delicious-
feeling morning, but cloudy. It was very different
from last Christmas morning, when the moon
was nearly at the full, and gloriously bright."
That Aurora Mass in St. Peter's remains in my
memory as distinctly as the Midnight Masses in
the Trinita the previous year. A conviction came
to me that faith in the Blessed Eucharist was a
greater gift than anything else, and that whatever
sacrifice it might involve I could never give it up.
That faith must triumph over everything.
It was about this time that Miss Congleton

An Anglican's Dilemma. 403
observed that kneeling at the Elevation and at
Benediction gave offence to weaker brethren,
amongst the number of whom I fancy was her
papa. This being the case, she suggested that it
might be better for us Anglicans to stand instead
of to kneel at such times. Standing, after all,
was a reverential attitude. I resolved not to
adopt this suggestion. Being much smaller than
was Miss Congleton, and a less important per
sonage, my proceedings. were not likely to cause
remark. To say the truth, I cared very little for the
"weaker brethren." I thought that Anglicans
were too ready to conceal their principles. They
were too much afraid of an outward manifestation
of their faith. It was their illogical position,
indeed, which led them to act thus. It gave them
no choice but to be apparently insincere. Thus if
when they were in a Catholic church they showed
the reverence which they felt for the Blessed
Sacrament, their act was interpreted — and they
knew that it was so interpreted — as a sign that
they contemplated renouncing Anglicanism, a
step which they had no intention of taking. If, on
the other hand, they assumed a sort of neutral
attitude when present at Catholic worship, they
were not asserting that belief in the Real Presence
which they knew was the belief of the primitive
Church, and which they considered that their
Church allowed them to hold.
I quite understood Miss Congleton's motive in

404 Te Deum in the Gesu.
urging us to adopt the course which she deemed
advisable. It arose from her loyalty to the Church
of England. This loyalty she missed no oppor
tunity of displaying.
Olivia wrote, January 1, 1857 :
" Yesterday afternoon we went to the Church
of the Gesu. The Te Deum was sung there in
thanksgiving for the blessings of the past year.
The Pope came in after the Vespers, just before
the Te Deum. He gave Benediction himself. It
was very impressive. I could not see well, for
the tiresome people in front of me, who were
English, would stand up when they ought to
have knelt. They talked, and they stared about.
them. This behaviour quite spoilt the effect,
which otherwise would have been very fine,
especially at the Benediction, when all the soldiers
of the National Guard and the Swiss Guard went
down on their knees. Williams (our English
servant), who was outside the church, said it was
a beautiful sight to see the Pope and his Guard
come into the piazza. He had a good view of
the Pope alighting from his carriage. He thought
the Pope seemed ' a very nice, pleasant sort of a
gentleman ! '" From my Mother.
"We went this afternoon to San Lorenzo fuori
le Mura, to which I had not been this year. It is
one of the old Basilicas, and very interesting.

Monsignor Talbot. 405
While we were there a funeral procession of
brown monks went by to the cemetery, chanting,
and looking so picturesque. Minima sketched a
little, but it was cold. We are not having nearly
such delightful weather this winter as we had last
winter. " On Saturday we went to a ball at the French
General's. Queen Christina arrived soon after
we did. She is a remarkable-looking woman.
I could not discover much remains of the great
beauty she used to possess. I do not think she
could ever have been as handsome as is her
daughter, Princess del Drago. She came in state
with her ladies, and was seated between the
"Austrian and French Ambassadresses at first,
with her ladies behind her.
" Lady Lothian thinks as I do, that Manning
is looking very worn and ill. I can't tell you
how much I like Lady Lothian. She seems so
truly spiritual. She looks upon the things of the
world in their true light. It seems grievous that
such a woman should have turned from our
Church. I think there are few people in the
world to be compared to her.
" Mgr. Talbot is a convert. He was telling me
about his conversion, which took place many
years ago. I told him of my hope, which is also
my theory, that there must be some great work
in the Roman Church, which is to be done by
the great and good men who have joined her

406 Dr. Manning arrives in Rome.
from our Church. Good may thus be brought
about through the merciful providence of God
from that which seems to us but an evil and
misfortune. " (January 19.) — Mr. Wilberforce has been ill
with gastric fever, and is gone to Albano for
change of air. Mr. de Vere was going yesterday
to stay a few days with him. He has been really
quite ill. Being at the Academia did not agree
with him. I always thought it great nonsense
that he should go anywhere to learn. I told him
I was quite sure they would teach him nothing in
Rome that he did not already know. If Albano
were not so far off I should like to drive over and
see him."
In many of my mother's letters she mentions
the pleasure and profit she derived from Lady
Lothian's society, as also from that of Dr.
Manning, who really did arrive in Rome this
winter. The worst fears of Mr. Barker would
have been realized, for not only was Dr. Manning
in Rome, but after a few weeks he took an apart
ment in the same house as ourselves. He was
able, therefore, often to pay us a little visit, which
he did mostly of an evening, before we went out.
I remember how alarmed Olivia and I were, lest
he should come when we were dressed for a
certain fancy ball and had our hair arranged with
powder. We feared any favourable opinion he
might have of us would be gone for ever ; for

Severity of his Views. 407
Dr. Manning was very severe in his views, and
did not at all approve of balls. I could not see
that they were wrong, as he said they were. I
felt sure that people might enjoy them without
getting any harm, and I think so still. After I
had passed many years without taking part in
such active forms of recreation, I went as a
spectator to a ball in London. Dancing struck
me then as a strange form of amusement. It
was difficult to imagine how rational people could
derive any enjoyment from it. But my own
youthful experience came back to me. I recalled
the great delight I had in rapid motion, in even
running quickly up and down a staircase or a
room. When in addition to this natural love of
motion there were suitable companions, exhilarat
ing music, and plenty of space, dancing certainly
did afford an intense and a most innocent enjoy
ment. There seemed to be no reason why one
should be debarred from this enjoyment. So I did
not feel disposed to agree with Dr. Manning that
dancing was altogether wrong. I was ready to
admit that it might be harmful to some people.
Dr. Manning often made me uncomfortable, by
discoursing on the vanities of the world just as
we were about to take part in them. On these
occasions my enjoyment of the evening was some
what spoiled, unless I could get some edifying
conversation with one of my more serious friends.
Dr. Manning said that our intercourse with the
world had deteriorated us, and that we were less

408 Misunderstanding of Catholic doctrine.

good than we were when he saw us at Clifton,
One thing that puzzled me was that he would
not admit that any one could conscientiously
remain an Anglican. I did not ask him to say
that / could. It was quite possible that I was
inexcusable, but surely that could not be said of
every one. There was my dear Milly, for instance.
There was my mother also. Neither of these
could believe in the Church, though they liked it
so much. Perhaps Dr. Manning thought that I
might make an unwise application of the Church's
teaching concerning invincible ignorance if he
explained it to me. I did not understand it, and
for years the wrong conception which I had of
the doctrine Extra ecclesiam nulla salus was a great
misery and perplexity to me. I thought that if I
became a Catholic I should have to pronounce a
formal anathema on all who were outside the
visible pale of the Church. I found that a similar
misconception has kept many at a distance from
Catholicism. I longed for Robert Wilberforce to be a priest.
I felt sure that he would understand my perplexi
ties, and that he would tell me what I ought to do.
Somehow I could not talk to Dr. Manning freely
on the few occasions when I happened to see him
alone. He was not the " comfort " to me which
it seems he was to my mother. Perhaps he made
me unhappy because he helped me to realize how
far I was from possessing that spirit of sacrifice

Persecution. 409

and humility, which submission to the Church
required. He did not minimize difficulties. To
be a Catholic might involve so great an amount
of suffering that it did not fall far short of martyr
dom. For this I did not feel prepared. He
reminded me of how St. Agnes stood alone before
the whole of Rome, and of how gloriously she had
triumphed. He said that the same grace which
had enabled her to overcome was not wanting
now to those who had the courage to leave all
and to follow Christ. If they had not to encounter
the same sharp persecution which dear little
St. Agnes encountered, converts to Catholicism
often met with unkindness and ill-treatment that
almost amounted to persecution. Certainly they
needed grace similar to that which was given to
martyrs. The persecution to which they were
subjected might drag on for years. It might
entail a life-long struggle, whereas bodily torture
and death were quickly ended.
On Candlemas day we went to St. Peter's.
We had tickets for a balcony. Therefore we
looked down on the ceremony from a considerable
height, and a grand ceremony it was, and very
long. For the Cardinals, Bishops, Generals of
the different Orders, members of the corps diplo
matique, &c, went up to the Pope and each one
received a candle from His Holiness. Then
the candles were lighted and a magnificent pro
cession took place round the church. This was

410 Death of Mr. Wilberforce.
a very fine sight. Mother got into a comfortable
corner from whence she could see well. She
thoroughly enjoyed the ceremony, thanks to a
kind Irish priest who sat by her. He explained
to her all that was going on, and helped her to
find the places in the Missal.
My mother wrote to her sister, February 4,
1857: "... Sad news has been brought me this
morning. I told you in my last letter that
Mr. Wilberforce had been very ill. He died
yesterday at sunset, at Albano, whither he had
gone some three or four weeks ago for change of
air; Mr. de Vere has been with him the last
fortnight. Manning and Mr. Wynne were with
him the whole time. Yesterday Lady Lothian
and Mrs. Leslie went to Albano and did not
return. Lord Ralph Kerr called late in the after
noon and told us how very ill they feared he was,
and how the doctors thought he could not live
through the night. But Lord Ralph had hopes ;
he could not help hoping^ he said. From what
I can hear, I should think that dear Mr. Wilber
force had given himself up almost from the
commencement of his illness ; he was not at all
sanguine about himself. I cannot tell you how
grieved I am. We had seen but little of him
this winter on account of his being at the
Academia. He used to come to us sometimes of
a morning. Last year we saw him often, and he

His lovable Character. 411
frequently went out with us. I feel that I have
lost a friend whom I loved. No one who knew
him could help loving him. Learned and clever
though he was, I never felt afraid of him, because
I could trust in his goodness. Mr. Dean brought
us the sorrowful tidings. I have been thinking
much of the Bishop of Oxford ; it will be such a
sad blow to him. I had a talk yesterday with
the Italian doctor who had been to Albano to see
Mr. Wilberforce. His illness was a low fever,
not of an infectious character. He has not been
well for some time, and Rome did not agree with
him, but he was so fond of being in Rome.
"February 5. — Mr. Palmer has just been here.
He talked a good deal about Mr. Wilberforce.
Dr. Manning, who was with him at Albano all
the time, does not seem to have had the slightest
idea that there was any danger till within the last
few days.
"Sunday, February 8, 1857. — Since I wrote
we have heard more particulars. Mr. de Vere
was at Albano and, like the rest of Mr. Wilber
force's friends, was quite devoted to him. Two
days after Mr. Wilberforce's death Mr. de Vere
returned to Rome. He came at once to see us,
looking so sorrowful, so worn, and really ill
himself with the anxiety and watching. I think
he talked of nothing hardly but the dear friend
whom he had lost.
"On Friday afternoon, as we were walking
down the Via Sistina, we met Dr. Manning and

412 Manning and Wilberforce.
another priest. Manning only spoke a few words.
He said his friend had left a message for us, and
he would come and see us the next day between
twelve and one. He looked so ill, such deep
sorrow was in his countenance. His eyes filled
with tears, and I could hardly keep my own back.
I felt for him so very, very much. He and Wilber
force have been so much to each other for thirty
years that the blank his loss will make must be
terrible. He called yesterday, as he said he
would, and told us all about Wilberforce's illness
and death, and the story was very touching.
Mr. Wilberforce seems to have been most merci
fully spared all suffering, except that which
extreme weakness causes. His patience and his
entire submission were perfect. He never expressed
any wish to recover, but left all to the will of God.
Dr. Manning seemed as if he could not say enough
about his beautiful resignation. God permitted
His servant to depart in peace. I should think
that there could never have been a calmer and
a happier death-bed. His mind was at times
wandering, and once he fancied he was returning
to England, that he was on the sea, going from
Civita Vecchia to Marseilles. Manning told us
so many beautiful little things about him, and said
it all so simply. He said Wilberforce had a great
regard for us, and used to speak of us. The last
time we had seen him was when he and Manning
called on us together, the day after Christmas
Day.

A Wish gratified. 413
" Mr. de Vere is anxious about Dr. Manning's
health. Dr. Manning was looking for a lodging
with the sun full upon it. This it was difficult to
meet with. I was glad to be able to help him,
and to tell him of the apartment above ours, which
was to be let. He has taken it, and I hope he
will get stronger. He will have two little balconies,
and will look upon the gardens of the Barberini
Palace. He will have a charming view, from
being so high up. His nephew will be with him.
His time is fully occupied, for he has very much
to do, so do not be thinking that we shall see
much of him, for I dare say we shall not have
above one or two visits from him. He leaves
Rome directly after Easter. You see I could not
know of an apartment which would suit him, and
not mention it, simply because it was in our
house. "Monday, February 9. — I have had a visit
this morning from Celia. We went yesterday to
hear Manning preach, and she wanted to talk
about what he said. I have been longing to hear
him preach for fifteen years, ever since you lent
me his first volume of sermons, and told me how
beautiful they were. What help and comfort I
have found in his writings during these fifteen
years ! But how little I could have believed, had
any one told me, that when my wish was gratified
and I did hear him preach, it would be in a
church at Rome, and that in his sermon he would
be setting forth the comfort and the necessity of

414 A Sermon of Dr. Manning's.
devotion to the Blessed Virgin ! I could have
wept bitterly all the time, so grieved and pained
was I with what he said. His language was
beautiful, his manner perfect, so simple, intensely
earnest, and touching. His arguments were weak,
and his conclusions were not forcible. They did not
commend themselves to my mind as being true.
Very many English were there. I should like to
know what they thought. He quite came up to
what I expected in grace and earnestness. . . .
When he spoke of human love his lip quivered,
and there was such an intensity of feeling in what
he said. He looks very ill. What a thoroughly
Christian spirit his must be ! If you had heard
him talk as we did of Wilberforce's death, you
would have felt that whatever errors there may
be in his faith, his heart must be as right with
God as the heart of a poor human creature can be.
There is such perfect charity in all that he sayS.
" February 17. — The Carnival is going forward
in all its folly, and people are rejoicing in the
splendour of the weather. We have given but
little time to the Corso. On Saturday afternoon
we went to the Villa Albani, where the girls
sketched, and most delightful it was. The violets
were smelling so sweetly. The view of the Cam
pagna is lovely from the garden of the villa. I
remember well writing to you about it last year
and telling you how, whilst I stood gazing on the
loveliness of the scene which entered into my
very heart, I felt most sad. . . .

Consecration of Bishop Clifford. 4 1 5
" We had a busy day on Sunday. We set off for
the Sistine chapel before seven, in order to see the
Pope consecrate a Bishop (for Clifton), Dr. Clifford,
Lord Clifford's son. It was a beautiful, solemn,
and impressive service, for the Pope does every
thing so completely from his heart. Dr. Clifford
evidently felt a great deal — as much as Robert
did when we saw him consecrated. We were
quite near enough to see comfortably, indeed
Minima got the best place in the chapel. I
should have been very sorry to have missed being
present at this service. Col. Y  went with us.
We got home just in time to have breakfast, and
to get to our own church. After the afternoon
service we went to hear Manning preach again.
There were parts of his sermon that were
beautiful, but nothing to my mind that came up
to his written sermons. It was a continuation
of the one on the previous Sunday upon the duty
of devotion to the Blessed Virgin. Again I heard
nothing that in the least convinced me. We have
not seen him to speak to since I last wrote. Oh,
yes, I think that we saw him the day our letters
went to the post. I must tell you about it.
Mgr. Talbot came to see him before eleven, and
not finding him in, came down to us. Mgr. Talbot
stayed a long while, and was exceedingly enter
taining. I sent up to inquire for him whether
Manning had come in. When afterwards Manning
did come in, he came down and stayed a little
while. He talked about sorrow so very beautifully.

41 6 Various Impressions.
I quite longed to be alone with him, and to tell
him a great deal about myself, for what he said
made me feel that he thoroughly understands
grief in all its intensity, and in all its phases. I
can quite enter into what people have told me
who have seen him in times of sorrow, that it
was wonderful how he ministered to them, and
showed them how sorrow should be turned to its
best account. I believe it would do me good in
many ways to talk to him, if he would talk with
out making any allusion to Roman Catholic
doctrines. It seems to me that it is a gift which
few of our clergymen possess, that of knowing
how to talk to one on spiritual matters, so as to
encourage one to bring out the innermost feelings
and yearnings of the heart. Manning can do
this. If he were but still in our Church, what a
blessing and a comfort it would be to have him
under the same roof! His Sunday sermons seem
to have struck people so differently that it quite
astonishes me. Yesterday evening at the Doria,
Lord T  told me that his impression was that
Manning was making the most of a subject into
which he did not fully enter, and that he was
upholding a doctrine which he could not with his
whole heart believe. Lord T  thought that
his arguments were weak, and that the sermon
was illogical. I told him that I did not under
stand logic, but I was quite sure that Manning
believed the doctrines that he endeavoured to
teach, for he was no trifler with his conscience.

Manning's Sermons. 417
Afterwards I had a conversation with Mr. C — — .

Evidently he had been struck with a great deal
that Manning said, and thought the reasoning
deep. I should like Manning to put aside all
questions of doctrine, and to preach a spiritual,
practical sermon like his old ones, and not to
preach at Protestants, but to address himself
simply to Christians. There are many things in
the world and about the world that puzzle me —
thoughts about the end and value of sorrow and
happiness. There are times when I cannot see
these things in the light that the Gospel places
them before us, and this disturbs me. I think
that Manning could help me if he would preach
on these subjects.
" Two evenings ago Dr. Manning came to see
us, and talked so delightfully, so like his old
sermons. He told us on what occasions and
under what circumstances he had written some
of those sermons. Then he spoke of the world,
and of the danger of mixing too much in it. Life
seemed so different while he was speaking of its
duties and of its snares, and of what it might
be to us. You know that I have longed for many
years to see him. He quite comes up to all the
ideas that I had formed of him. He is so very
saint-like, and so thoroughly above the world."
It seemed impossible for my mother to shake
off the prejudices and misunderstandings of the
generation to which she belonged with regard to
BB

41 8 Devotion to the Blessed Virgin.
the doctrine about which Manning had been
preaching. Now I believe that the very same
doctrine is to be heard in Ritualist churches.
Even at the end of 1857, when I returned to
England, I heard a discourse at the chapel in
Margaret Street on the honour due to the
Mater Creatoris, which set forth as strongly as
Dr. Manning had done her claims to our venera
tion. So strongly indeed were these claims
urged, that I expected the Litany of Loretto to
follow. It did not. There was then no practical
result. I am told, however, that the Angelical
Salutation and the Stabat Mater are, at the
present day, to be heard in some Anglican
churches. We may hope much from the use of
such devotions.
My mother's objection to having recourse to
the Blessed Virgin by no means arose from
that spirit of pride, which was so severely con
demned by Mr. Palmer's friend, the Archimandrite.1
It arose from an idea, of which she could never
rid herself, that to invoke saints and angels was
to invest them with the Divine attribute of omni
presence. She could not understand that those
who see God see all things, which it becomes
them to see, in God.
I thought that to honour Mary rightly, to
honour her as the " Mother of Jesus," we could
not possibly honour her too highly. If honour were
due to her, it must be a very great honour indeed.
1 p. 344-

Rosary of the Immaculate Conception. 419
" He that is mighty hath done to her great
things." The utmost reverence that we could
offer would be incommensurate with the dignity
to which her Creator had raised her.
How can we rightly love thy Son,
Dear Mother, if we love not thee ?
Could it be pleasing to our Blessed Lord that
we should be indifferent and cold towards her
whom He has loved and exalted above every
created being ? Ought not rather our prayer to
be earnest that our love and devotion to that
Holy Mother might increase every day, that so
we might become more and more like to our
Divine Model, her Son.
A friend had given me a rosary of the Immacu
late Conception. In saying this Rosary we offer
praise to each of the Three Persons of the Blessed
Trinity for benefits conferred on Mary. For some
time I made daily use of this Rosary, the words
for which I found in the Vade Mecum. It taught
me a great deal about Almighty God, and about
the praise to which He is entitled from us, for all
that He has done for His Blessed Mother, and
through her for us.
A Catholic friend wrote to my mother on this
occasion :
" So you did not like Dr. Manning's sermon !
Well, I hardly know whether that is a bad sign of
jou or not. I should be very sorry to think that

42 o Misconception of Christian Doctrine.
there was not a great deal in you that sympa
thized with all he said, and all that could be said
in honour of the Mother of our Redeemer, but
even where this is the case I know that those
who from their inherited position, external to the
Fold, have ever been compelled, as it were, to
look at the wrong side of the tapestry, can some
times only see confusion where otherwise they
would see harmony and truth. I know well
that there are those who, not from heartlessness
or lack of Christian instincts, but from pre
possessions, and an imperfect appreciation of
other parts of the Catholic system, stand prac
tically alienated from the Blessed Virgin. They
honour her in words, and sometimes in fancy,
but between her and them there exists none of
those living and practical relations through which
the Communion of Saints becomes a reality.
Everything depends on the way in which this
misconception arises, for assuredly it is a great
misconception which makes us mistake her, who
is a bond of union between us and Christ, for a
bar of separation. Wherever the misconception
is wholly involuntary, however, and, the jealousy
against Mary's exalted place in the dispensation
of grace proceeds from real love and loyalty for
her Son and zeal for His glory, the film may at
any time drop from the eye. Indeed, as long as
the misconception exists it is actually a good, not
a bad sign, that a feeling corresponding to that
misconception exists also. That very feeling of

Impressions are not Convictions. 421
strong repugnance, so far as it proceeds from
love of our Divine Lord, is a pledge that the
feeling will change into one of the exactly oppo
site sort whenever God gives us grace to see that
the honour we give to Mary is in some respects
like that which loyal subjects give to the repre
sentative of their sovereign, and is exactly the
reverse of that which rebels give to the rival of
that sovereign. What is really to be feared on
such subjects is not the feeling you describe, but,
on the contrary, indifference, apathy, and the
habit of regarding as of no importance, and
therefore as worthy of no laborious and painful
investigation, differences of religious belief which
really are of the deepest moment, differences
which prove the existence of grievous and
dangerous error on one side or the other.
" That you should feel disturbed, alarmed, and
in part displeased at a sermon which proves that
the most learned and spiritually-minded Catholics
think with the poor on these matters, and are
neither able nor willing to contract for a separate
peace for themselves — this may be natural, nay it
may be hopeful even, provided you do not, as
self-willed people do, mistake strong impressions
for certain convictions, and neglect the inquiry
which God demands of all who believe that God
has given a revelation to man. All such must
believe also that to know aright which is the
true version of that revelation and which the
spurious one, must be our first duty, cost what it

42 2 Evil Influence of the World.
may. You cannot forget that Manning, and your
departed friend Wilberforce, and some 200 beside
of the English clergy, were brought up to see the
thing as you see it ; that they gave up all to
testify to a higher truth ; that they were learned
in the Scriptures ; that they ever affirmed that
their new convictions had taken from them no
single one of their old convictions except what
was merely negative, and that they ever gave and
give God thanks for the change. . ."
I was glad that my mother's wish that she
could hear Dr. Manning preach a sermon in
which there was nothing controversial, and which
should remind her of his old sermons, was
gratified one day at the Franciscan Church of
St. Isidore. A great deal of this sermon was
about the evil influences of the world. Speaking
of those words of our Lord's, " How hardly shall
they that have riches enter into the Kingdom of
God," Manning said that the mere possession
of riches (independently of trusting in them) had
a tendency to form, and in many cases did form,
a character of mind contrary to the spirit of the
Gospel — artificial habits, artificial wants and
pleasures, love of ease, love of pleasure, self-
indulgence, indifference to the wants of others,
love of the world, and attachment to the things
of the world — whereas poverty tends to produce
separation from the world, conformity to our
Blessed Lord, simplicity of mind, self-denial, a

The Poor in Spirit. 423
true estimate of the world, and a more earnest
desire for Heaven. The text was, " Blessed are
the poor in spirit." Manning gave us some tests
by which we might know whether we had this
poverty of spirit. Then he told us what we
must do in order that we might acquire it, and
this part of the sermon was extremely profitable
and practical, although it was somewhat painful.
I thought how difficult it was to wish to possess
humility when we knew that we could not get it
without first submitting to humiliations. That
this was the only way in which we could attain to
humility, Dr. Manning taught us very plainly.
He put before us the example of St. Francis of
Assisi. There was much that was inspiriting in
the lives of saints like him. Those only had
really ruled the world who had been above it, who
feared it not, and who would not be patronized
by it. If we would not be the slaves of the world
we must be its masters. We must care nothing
for its opinions and its judgments, and its rules
of right and wrong. They were as directly
antagonistic to our Lord's precepts as were
worldly ideas of happiness to His Beatitudes.
Dr. Manning used often to talk to us about
the dangers which intercourse with the world
¥ involved. In this sermon he spoke very strongly
' on that subject. The sermon disquieted me. It
made me uncomfortable, and this his sermons on
the honour due to our Blessed Lady had not
done. Did it not suggest a way of honouring her,

424 A high Standard.
that was more difficult than that of saying
Rosaries and Litanies ? For it encouraged us to
aim at that lowliness and humility, that poverty
of spirit, that hiddenness and unworldliness, that
complete submission to the will of God which
must be found in all those who would be near to
Jesus Christ, and which shone forth with greatest
splendour in her who is the Queen of all Saints.
My mother wrote :
" Dr. Manning preached his last sermon (he
has only preached four) yesterday, and a very
beautiful one it was, quite like one of his old
sermons. He preached at St. Isidore, the Church
of the Franciscans. The church has just been
repaired. First he spoke about the Franciscan
Order and its work, and then he spoke about
humility and poverty and trials. I never heard
anything more in accordance with the spirit of
the Sermon on the Mount. He set up such a
high standard of goodness, and such pure motives
for action."
The subject was one that was peculiarly
interesting to my mother. She had an immense
admiration for those who she saw were un
worldly in spite of outward prosperity. On this
subject she wrote :
" Certainly the things of the world — rank,
riches, talents, &c. — do give a great deal of

Detachment from Riches. 425

happiness to some, and real happiness, and
happiness of a high kind. I mean when they
are given to people who know how to make a good
use of these gifts of God. The happiness of the
merely worldly-minded must be of a very inferior
kind, but when people are aiming high and are
religious, and these things are added to them, I
consider that they are blessings, and that certainly
their possessors would not be as happy, and
perhaps even not as good, without them. The
feeling comes sometimes very strongly upon me
that trials and poverty are much greater tempta
tions, and take the heart farther from Heaven
than happiness, and I could illustrate this by
many examples."
No doubt the poverty of spirit which Dr.
Manning had been advocating may be practised
and has been practised, in the midst of outward
worldly prosperity. But this I thought should
not lead us to overlook the fact that under such
circumstances the practice of it was much more
difficult. Probably those who had attained to it
must have undergone an amount of interior
suffering of which not many souls are capable.
If, although they possessed riches and honours,
they were detached from them, that detachment
must be the fruit of prayer and penance and
mortification, and from these sources came the
serenity and joy which no mere earthly prosperity
can guarantee.

426 A sublime Discontent.
In the same letter my mother cited a passage
that a friend had written to her about the
happiness which he enjoyed in his home life.
" I know how uncertain is all such happiness,
but I bless and thank God for it while it is here.
You, too, know what is its happiness, and alas !
too well the precariousness of it. How swiftly
the years whirl round ! How differently things
look after one has passed the meridian ! Life
seems so short that one Wonders how young
people can take the trouble of settling themselves,
'building themselves houses as if they should
abide for ever.' Happiest are they who go
through their little round of life, their duties,
their joys and sorrows, thinking of nothing but
what is immediately before them, looking neither
before nor after, feeling and acting, but not
reflecting or speculating, at least happy if they
have known nothing of the world of thought.
But they who have once entered that region
would not willingly sink into that unreasoning
state I have just eulogized. No, they must go on
struggling with a sublime discontent — sublime
because it is engendered of conceptions and
aspirations which find no type in the actual — and
schooling this discontent with a patient acquies
cence in that which after all may seem evil only
because it is so imperfectly understood, and
hoping that somehow, ' good will be the final goal
of all ! ' "
My mother remarked that this did not seem to

Explanation of certain Perplexities. 427

her sound doctrine. She thought that her friend
took a wrong and uncomfortable view of life, and
of what its aims and objects ought to be. The
truth is that the explanation of all that perplexes
us with regard to happiness and sorrow and the
meaning of life, is to be found in the right under
standing of the end for which we were made — an
end so glorious that we may well acquiesce in all
that conduces to the attainment of it. Meanwhile
we may give full encouragement to the highest
aspirations of which our hearts and minds are
capable. We may be certain that such aspira
tions will one day find their realization in a
contentment, which will abundantly compensate
for the temptations to discontent with which we
may be tried during this our time of probation.
From my Mother.
"March 6.— On Saturday we drove a long
distance on the Appian Way. The day was
wonderfully exquisite, the lights and shades so
glorious. There was a delicious smell of grass,
and larks were singing. Such fine shadows were
cast upon the long line of ruined aqueducts and
nearer ruins, on the hills of the Campagna, and
on the more distant mountains still covered with
snow; .Frascati, Rocca di Papa, &c, seemed so
near owing to the clearness of the atmosphere ;
and then I turned and looked back on Rome and
the dome of St. Peter's— it was really too lovely !

428 " Other Worldliness."
In spite of the gay sunshine and the singing of
the larks I could have cried, and had I been alone
I should. You know as well as I do how a very
lovely scene moves every spring of sorrow in the
heart. A yearning for perfect happiness, pure
happiness, comes over one, and the intense longing
for those who are gone, and who we trust inhabit
a world far more beautiful than this we look
upon. " I am writing now in the grounds of the Villa
Nigrone. Minima is sketching Santa Maria
Maggiore. Olivia has chosen the mountains for
the subject of her sketch. The air is perfect and
a fountain is babbling near me. . . . On Sunday
morning Mr. Manning came down to bring back
some books which we had lent him, and I had a
talk with him alone, of which I was very glad.
We did not touch upon doctrine. What a
difference it must make in a person's life being
able to realize, as he seems to do, the love of
Christ and the presence of God ! He seems to
have made so many things his own. He spoke
from his heart. How strange it must be to be
living in the world and not to be caring in the
least for the things of the world. I think he is
the only person I have met with, whom I can
imagine among the Apostles. I can quite believe
what I have heard was the case with those who
knew him, that constant intercourse with such
a spiritual mind did even more good than the
reading of his sermons. There is nothing in

A Drive by Moonlight. 429

Manning that ever jars upon my feeling of what
a thoroughly religious man ought to be. I don't
think I can explain per pen what I mean.

" We had a drive by moonlight yesterday. We
summoned Mr. de Vere and Mr. G. C  , and
set out at eight, and were not in till nearly eleven.
We went first to the Fountain of Trevi, where
we got out and drank of the water ; then by the
Forum of Trajan. The broken columns of that
Forum looked so fine in the moonlight. We
passed by the beautiful remains of the Roman
Forum, under the Arch of Titus, to the Colosseum.
There we walked about a little, and sat down
on the stones, Mr. de Vere recalling the scenes
that had been enacted there by heathens and
Christians. The night was too beautiful to think
of going in, so we drove on to the Church of
St. John Lateran, and contemplated its grand
facade under the influence of moonlight. In the
dim distance we made out the hills of the Cam
pagna. It was so silent there, and the Church
of Santa Croce, near the walls of Rome, looked
so lonely. Then we proceeded to the Quirinal,
where you know there is a fountain and the grand
statues of Castor and Pollux and the horses, and
finally on to St. Peter's. This drive was so
delicious, only I felt very low all the time. There
was something in the scene, the associations,
and the glorious beauty of the heavens, which to

430 Pagan Rome.

me was quite overpowering — yet I would not have
missed it on any account.
" We had a very pleasant afternoon with Mr.
Palmer and Mr. G. C  . We traced the line
of the wall of Servius Tullius, and very interesting
Mr. Palmer made it, telling us snatches of Roman
history. " I must tell you about the Palazzo Spada.
There are not many fine pictures there. The
chief interest is a very fine statue of Pompey the
Great, by which Julius Csesar was standing when
Brutus and the others struck him. It seemed
so strange to look at it and to think of that event,
to realize it, and to remember that it happened
before the Birth of Christ. I thought of the
enthusiasm you and I used to feel for Caesar
when we were reading that old Roman history,
and how intensely interested we should have been
could we have come to Rome in those days.
I believe at that time the remains of Pagan Rome
would have found greater charm in our eyes than
Christian Rome.
" Wednesday in Holy Week. — We do not mean
to attempt going to the Sistine to hear the
Miserere this afternoon, for there will be such a
crowd; we are going to S. Ignazio, where we
shall hear the same music in comfort, without
people talking around one. Of course the music
will not be so fine. We hope to go to the
Sistine on Good Friday morning. Mr. Grey says
that the music is so very beautiful : the Passion

Holy Week Services. 431

is sung in the most touching way. When one
has a book and can follow it, the service is most
impressive and lovely. I do so look forward to
it. On Easter Sunday we shall go to St. Peter's
for High Mass, and shall hear the silver trumpets
in the dome, but we mean to take things much
more quietly this year than we did last year ; in
fact I could not now run about as I did then."
The preceding year we had not attended the
morning services at the Sistine on the three last
days of Holy Week. We did so now, and as
strangers were not in the habit of frequenting
them, there was the space and quiet which
conduce to the better appreciation of a religious
function. We did not attempt the crowded
service of Tenebrae at the Sistine. We went
instead to the Church of S. Ignazio, where it was
sung in a very edifying way by the Jesuit novices.
My mother wrote, April 14, 1857 :
" I wish so much that we could adopt these
services in our churches. With the exception of
one Litany of the Saints, there is not a word to
which the most rigorous Protestant would object
if he did not know the services were used at
Rome. Many chapters from the Prophecies are
read, or rather, most beautiful and judicious
selections from them and from other parts of the
Bible. What impressed me greatly was the sing
ing of the Passion from the nineteenth chapter
of St. John's Gospel. It is so very touching, so

43 2 Easter Sunday at St. Peters.
deeply solemn. One voice sings the narrative,
another the words of our Saviour, and a third
those of Pontius Pilate. The shouts of the
multitude are sung by a quantity of voices. The
effect is most wonderful. I never heard anything
more moving, and I would not have missed it
on any account. . . . We had to be up very early
on Easter Sunday, for we went to St. Peter's.
We were very well placed, and the Pope sang
the Mass beautifully. He has a very fine voice
and is very devout ; he seems quite wrapt in
prayer. After he had consecrated, there was
a moment of perfect silence. Then the silver
trumpets sounded, and they quite thrilled through
me. I don't think that I was ever so overcome by
sound, though solemn music always has a great
effect upon me. It seemed such a strain as
might accompany a blest spirit to Heaven, or
greet her entrance there. Oh ! how I wished
that it could have been prolonged. Shall I ever
hear it again ? Somehow, it was far more beau
tiful than on Christmas Day."
To our sorrow, the time for our departure drew
near. Each succeeding day did but reveal to us
that we had not nearly seen all that there was to
be seen in Rome. Its interests seemed ever to
multiply, its attractions to increase. We found
that Rome should be lived in to be understood,
though we loved it from the moment we entered
its gates. Very different, alas ! is the Rome of

Peculiar Charm of Rome. 433
to-day from the Rome of my youth. Those who
have usurped the sovereignty have done their
best to efface its Christian character, and to
make it resemble the least interesting parts of
Paris. Twenty years of Piedmontese occupation
must have had its effect on the spiritual atmo
sphere of Rome, and have weakened that super
natural influence of which many of us, although
we were then outside the Church, could not but
be conscious. Some of the charm must be gone,
but a great deal must ever remain. In the days
of which I write, though we gave a good deal of
our time to the things of this world, it was yet
very difficult to be in Rome and to forget that
there was another and a much better world.
Everything spoke of the supernatural.
On some expeditions we made, our good angels
must have accompanied us gladly. Mother had
proposed to Mr. Palmer that he should take
us to all the places connected with SS. Peter and
Paul. This idea met with his approval. "We
began with the Appian Way," my mother wrote.
"We passed under the arch which St. Peter
must have passed under when he entered Rome.
Then we went to the Pretorian Camp, where
St. Paul would have been taken, the walls of
which extend round what is now the Jesuits'
garden. In this garden the bay-trees were
smelling so delightfully. Mr. Palmer did not like
us to enjoy the delicious perfumes or the lovely
views. We were to think only of the Apostles !
ce

434 Visits to Holy Places.
We ended that first day with going to a church
in the Corso built on the site of an old Roman
house, the one in which St. Paul dwelt — 'his own
hired house ' — with the two soldiers who guarded
him, and from which he wrote the Epistles to
the Ephesians," &c.
Another day we visited the churches, &c.,:
where it is known that the Apostle went, such
as Sta. Prisca, which stands on the site of the
house of Aquila and Priscilla ; and S. Pudenziana,
the house of Pudens and Claudia. St. Claudia
was a British captive who was converted by
St. Paul. She was the first British Christian,
and through her, therefore, Christianity was first
introduced into Britain. This probably gave rise
to the tradition that St. Paul himself had visited
England. . . The Mamertine Prison, of course,
came into our pilgrimage, and the chapel called
" Domine quo vadis," and the spot where the two
Apostles separated on their way to martyrdom.
St. Peter was thence taken to the gardens of
Nero to be crucified. St. Paul was taken a mile
or two further on the Ostian Way. He was
beheaded on the spot where now stands the
Church of S. Paolo alle tre Fontane.
I look back on our visits to these holy places
with much delight. They gave me a more
intimate acquaintance with the Apostles, and
inspired me with an increased devotion to them.
There was also the interest of being associated
with the numberless servants of God, who in
every age of the Church had come from all parts

The Apostle of Rome. 435

of the earth to offer their thanksgivings and
supplications at these sacred shrines. Here had
come our holy Saxon forefathers. Here had come
the founders of great Religious Orders. Here had
come, ere yet he was twenty years of age, and
here had lived and died, the fervent Florentine
who earned the title of Apostle of Rome, and
with whose life and character Newman and
Faber and others of his illustrious sons in
England have made us so familiar.
" St. Philip Neri," his biographer tells us,
*' would frequently visit the seven greater churches
or basilicas of Rome, feeding his love on the
memorials of God's goodness they contain. It
is a distance of ten or eleven miles, and it takes
seven or eight hours to make this pilgrimage with
befitting composure and with the necessary pause
in each church. The way lies partly in the city
and partly in the country; in part, amidst the
throng and bustle of men ; and in part, through
the still and pensive loneliness of the Roman
Campagna. It is an excursion of singular interest
and pleasure, even when made solely with a view
to the grand memorials of times past ; but when
made with the soul fixed on God, and in due
dispositions, it is one of those consolations we
can never forget. All along the way, in the
basilicas we visit, in the sacred bodies there.
enshrined, a thousand records of love and self-
sacrifice are presented to the mind, or rather, the
one great record of the great love of Jesus Christ,
repeated anew in the saints from year to year,

436 Pilgrimage to the Seven Churches.
from day to day, in their martyrdom of blood
or of desire. Sometimes in the day, but most
usually by night, when all was still around, Philip
would leave his little room and take his way to
St. Peter's, slowly and absorbed in prayer. Then
through the Lungara and by S. Maria in Traste-
vere, and over the bridge called the Ponte Quattro
Capi, he would walk the long distance which
separates St. Paul's from St. Peter's. From
St. Paul's he would continue his course to
St. Sebastian's, and so along the Appian Way
to St. John Lateran and Santa Croce. Thence
he would turn his steps to San Lorenzo, and
back to Sta. Maria Maggiore, the close of his
pilgrimage. Those who met him as he walked
along, so humble and poor, alone, and rapt in
meditation, would hardly suspect the mystery of
that pilgrimage, or the consuming love hidden
within that heart.
" As he went on his way, the expanse of green
by day, or the starry sky by night, would raise
his soul towards God in adoration and praise.
His prayers at the doors of each basilica, so near
the relics of the martyrs, would bring back vividly
to his mind the memory of their conflict and their
triumph, and lead him on in thought to the great
martyrdom of Calvary. St. Peter, St. Paul, St.
John, St. Sebastian, St. Laurence, whose memory
is stamped on five of these basilicas, were martyrs
very different in the circumstances of their mar
tyrdom, but all well fitted to enkindle and increase
the flame of his love. Sta. Maria Maggiore, where

St. Philip Neri. 437

is preserved the cradle of the Infant Jesus, and
Santa Croce, where is venerated the holy Cross
of our redemption, would bring before him the
beginning and the end of the earthly life of our
Divine Lord, together with the dearest name of
Mary, who, as Mother of Jesus and as partici
pating in the great act of our redemption, is so
inseparably bound up with the mystery of Beth
lehem, and with that of the Cross. Both would
go straight to Philip's heart, and nourish that
tender, ever-present thought of Jesus and of
Mary which characterized all his life. Both are
interwoven with the memories of martyrs, of the
Popes who raised those churches, of the saints
who rest in them in peace."1
O dear St. Philip ! how in after-years have I
again visited these holy sanctuaries and asked
that I might imitate you in your faith and burning
charity ! How have I knelt in the little oratory
which was once your room, and assisted at the
Holy Sacrifice, offered there where you used to
offer it ! How have I prayed that I might not
be unworthy of the glorious gift of faith which
now is mine, and that through your intercession
those whom I loved might also obtain that gift,
that at the altars of your Oratory in London we
may all be enamoured of the beauty, and be
animated with the spirit, and breathe the atmo
sphere of your own beloved Rome !
1 Life of St. Philip Neri. By Capecelatro. Translated by
Father Pope, CO.

CHAPTER XII.
Painful impressions that some Protestants receive from foreigm
churches. They do not understand the Catholic idea of
worship. Advantages of familiarity with foreign lands in youth.
The choice of a state of life. Necessity of coming to a decision
about religion. Motives which conduced to the decision. The-
Sacrament of Penance.
Dr. Pusey's satisfaction in the Church of England. Dean-
Church's views. Mr. Keble's views. The Christian Year. Ash
Wednesday. The Commination Service.
Father Faber's books and sermons. Difficulties and their
solutions. Interview with Father Faber. Reception into the
Church. The thought of Italy is so pleasant that I could
willingly linger over it and record memories of
Siena, Bologna, Padua, and Venice. But were
I to do so, the purpose of this narrative would
not be furthered. I have said enough to show
the impression that foreign travel made upon me,,
and that it did not increase my appreciation of
England and its religion. I was not scandalized,
as I had been told I should be, by many things
that are stumbling-blocks to the Protestant mind.
The behaviour of the poor people who crowd the
large churches and who seem quite at home in
the house of God, treating it so naturally as their
Father's house, saying their prayers with such

A Protestant in Catholic Churches. 439
simplicity and utter absence of human respect,
bringing in their bundles and their babies, assist
ing at Mass with unaffected devotion, is mis
understood by the Protestant who is above all
things else — respectable. To him such behaviour
seems irreverent. He cannot understand uncere
monious prayer. He is painfully alive to the fact
that these peasants have partaken largely of garlic,
and have not meddled with soap and water. He
notices, moreover, that they do not scruple to
spit when it suits their convenience. No doubt
such habits are unpleasant. They are annoying
to the cleanly and more refined worshippers, but
they are not sins. In the Italian churches there
are hardly any seats. People stand or kneel.
How uncomfortable ! How different to the
enlightened worship of a reformed Church !
Most of all is the worthy Protestant distressed,
if he should chance to frequent these foreign
churches during the month of May, at the worship
which he says is paid to wax dolls. He sees
crowds gathered round life-size figures which
represent the Madonna and her Child, arrayed in
gauze and silver, with artificial flowers. Such
representations are far more attractive to these
simple minds than is the most beautiful marble
statue to us, and elicit from them far more fervent
ejaculations than we perhaps have ever made.
What a shock does the enlightened islander
experience when he beholds such a degrading
spectacle! And then how unintelligible to him

440 Misapprehension of Catholic Worship.
appear the grand functions which he may witness!
Perhaps even more unintelligible are the Low
Masses at which he sees crowds of poor assisting
with deep attention and devotion. Must it not
be superstition, and not true religion, which
collects such multitudes in the churches? The
people cannot know what the priest is about. Is
not Mass said in Latin ? Is it not difficult to
catch even the Latin words ? Still the fact
remains, the churches are crowded with poor.
Popery is not the religion of a class, and it is
specially to the poor that its Gospel is preached.
Every nation has its own peculiarities, but in
every nation the Catholic religion finds itself
equally at home. In France and in Belgium, in
Germany and in Italy, the same faith is professed,
the same worship is offered, the same sacraments
are received. Such was the case in England also,
ere she was torn away from Catholic unity. Poor
English ! They would make such good Catholics
if only they had the chance.
Why is it that even pious Protestants have
so much repugnance to Catholic worship ? We
know how distressing a simple choral service,
such as is sung in their own Cathedrals, is to
some persons. They do not regard public worship
as a tribute offered to Almighty God, but rather
as something that is to appeal to themselves.
If it has not the effect of exciting their devotion,
they consider that it has failed in its object.
Many think that the Creator is content with a

Language of the Psalms. 441

minimum of worship from His creatures. Such
is not the language of the Psalms. Perhaps
Protestants of this class do not attach more
meaning to the Psalms than they do to our
Blessed Lady's Magnificat. " Praise the Lord,
O my soul, and let all that is within me praise
His holy Name. . . O praise the Lord, ye angels
of His, ye that excel in strength. . . Bless the
Lord, all ye works of His, in all places of His
dominion." I knew an elderly Protestant lady
who happened to go to her own service one week
day in Lent, and heard instead of the Te Deum
to which she was accustomed, the Benedicite,
omnia opera. She was quite indignant. How
could the green things upon the earth bless the
Lord ? or how could the wells and the dews and
frosts ? Vain to remind her that the canticle
was in her own prayer-book. She did not care
where it was, it was nonsense !
It is certainly an immense pleasure and ad
vantage to have had the opportunity of travelling
and of becoming familiar with foreign lands in the
days of one's youth. To look back on the happiness
thus enjoyed, is a solace amid the inevitable
worries and anxieties of middle life. As life
advances so many ties are formed from which it
is difficult to break loose, and very seldom are
we able to exchange the cares and responsibilities
•of home for the pleasant sensation of being a
pilgrim and a stranger with no abiding city. The

442 Happiness of Religious Vocation.
work of life has to be done, and as a rule it
cannot well be done by those who are ever
wandering from place to place, taking root ¦
nowhere. For most persons a time comes, sooner or
later, when the choice of a state of life is forced
upon them. However satisfied they would be to
go on without making any irrevocable change,
they find that it is no longer possible to do so.'
I can imagine no greater happiness than
receiving and following a vocation to religious
life. Blessed are they on whom Almighty God
deigns to bestow so choice a gift, choosing them
for Himself, that they may love Him with an
undivided love, and allow no human affection to
come between Him and them. But those who
regard the religious life as the highest and holiest
life to which any human being can be called,
have at the same time a nobler conception of the
dignity of Christian marriage than have those
who regard the married as the most desirable of
all states of human life. God's will is the one
thing that all must look to. It is His will that
the greater number of His children should serve
Him by living in the world, and carrying on that
continual warfare against the over-solicitude for
the things of the world — its cares, its business,
and its pleasures — which such a life involves.
With regard to the choice of a state of life
Catholics have a great advantage (would that
they more frequently availed themselves of it !) in

Choice of a State of Life. 443

the opportunities which are given them of going
into retreat. What a satisfaction to have made
the choice, seriously and deliberately, and with
the aid of the rules laid down by St. Ignatius !
Devout Anglicans do their best according to their
lights, by prayer and reflection, but how often
must they not long for more definite guidance !
I was glad that when I had to settle down,
after those pleasant years of foreign travel, my
lot was not cast in the country. I was to live in
England, but in or near London. A more or less
prosaic existence seemed to be opening out before
me. If my life were to be rescued from common-
placeness it was evident that this could only be
by my not acquiescing in the easy-going indiffer
ence to the supernatural world that prevailed
around me. There were the great responsibilities
of life to be dealt with. Sooner or later, some
definite decision with regard to religion must be
made. My doubts would not be silenced, how
ever much I might try to be content with
Anglicanism and to persuade myself that it
might suffice for me as it sufficed for my betters.
London provided every form of Anglicanism from
which to choose. The best preachers were to.
be heard there ; Masters' shop offered continually
new and tempting little devotional works. But:
from none of these could I get the help I needed..
Was there now any insurmountable obstacle to
my seeking that help elsewhere? Must I not

444 Leisurely Proceedings.
make one great effort to remove any such
obstacle ?
However much we may feel attached to
the Church, and however few may be our
difficulties with regard to her doctrines, however
well we may have made ourselves acquainted
with her ritual and devotions, there is a shrinking
from taking the final plunge, a dread of actually
making the change, which I can only account
for as being inspired by the devil, who works
on the imagination, when he cannot convince
the reason, and who represents difficulties as
being almost insurmountable.
Happy are those who do not keep God waiting,
who do the right thing at the right time, who,
directly they see the truth, do not hesitate to
embrace it, who recognize Divine inspirations
and promptly and generously act on them ! From
how many temptations against faith, from how
much bitter regret are not such valiant souls
saved !
Very leisurely did I proceed, alas ! Mine was
not an impulsive disposition. Now that I was
free to choose my own place of worship, I usually
went to Mass instead of to " Dearly Beloved."
Abroad I had attended many grand functions,
but I had not had opportunities of assisting at
Low Mass. I wanted to get quite familiarized
with Low Mass and with Catholic devotions and
practices, in order that I might be sure that it
was not the novelty of them to me, or their

Attractions of Anglicanism. 445

attractive surroundings which made them seem
profitable. With regard to external attractions
indeed, many people would prefer those which
the Church of England had to offer. The Psalms
and Anthems as they were sung in our old
Cathedrals, the devotional music, and simple but
impressive ritual of the choral "celebrations"
that had now become more common ; what could
be more in accordance with a refined taste than
were these? And from some of the sermons
there was much to be learnt. Mr. Evans, who
occasionally preached in St. Andrew's, Wells
Street, was striking and original. Dr. Neale
introduced us to the mystical interpretation of
Holy Scripture. Mr. Carter, of Clewer, set before
us rich examples of practical holiness from the
life of the Blessed Virgin Mary. No less practical
were the "courses" which Mr. Yard preached
at All Saints', Margaret Street.
There was a feeling of comfort and of snugness
in the Low Church temples, and in their pews,
which was not without its attractions. It was,
indeed, a lower form of attractiveness than that
which was offered by the architectural beauty of
All Saints', Margaret Street. We could turn in
to a week-day Matins at St. Mark's, North Audley
Street, and join in the Psalms and Prayers, and
listen to the Lessons, and enjoy that satisfied
feeling which we used to have as Anglicans when
we went to a week-day service, a feeling that we
were rather better than were other people, and

446 Procrastination.
that we had done a good work which they had
not done. One does not have that satisfaction
as a Catholic.
I could not be contented, however, with the
services which the Anglican Churches, High or
Low or Moderate, provided. I wanted something
more than they had it in their power to give.
I found that the Low Masses which I was in
the habit of attending were becoming more and
more of a necessity to my spiritual well-being.
It did not seem to me sincere to be going on in
this way. I hated insincerity. I could not bear
that others should assume that I believed in
Protestantism when I did not believe in it. I
knew that I was only waiting for a convenient
season to have done with Protestantism for ever.
Many converts have known how long that " con
venient season " was in coming, how slow they
were in discovering that it probably never would
come, and how at last grace was given to
them to see that it was not their own con
venience, or the convenience of their relatives
which ought to be considered, not their own
inclinations and likings, or those of others, but
simply and solely the will of God in their regard.
Who has not taken refuge in the hope that a
severe illness would supply an opportunity for
reconciliation with the Church, the motives for
which could not be misunderstood, even by the
most malicious ? Illness came to me. It took
the form of great prostration. It was then that

An Article of the Creed. 447

I realized how impossible it was to nerve myself
for so important an act at a time when I was
weak both in body and in mind. I must get
well first ; such a step required health and
strength. A friend of mine, when telling me what was the
final motive-power that brought him into the
Church, said " that it was a general craving for
the forgiveness of his sins." If our Lord had
instituted the Sacrament of Penance — and it was
impossible for us not to see that He had insti
tuted it in the power which He gave to His
Apostles to forgive sins — were we safe in not
availing ourselves of it? "The forgiveness of
sins " is an Article of the Creed : if the explana
tion which is given of this Article by the Roman
Church is not the true Catholic doctrine, what
is the true doctrine ? What did the words mean ?
Could the most learned Protestant point to any
century in the Church, when the Sacrament of
Penance was for the first time introduced ? Could
he deny that St. James said, " Confess your sins
(not only to God, but) to one another " ? Could
we be sure that God would forgive our sins if
we should refuse to make use of the means
which He had appointed whereby we might
obtain forgiveness ? That was a question which
could not but present itself to one who was
making a preparation for death.
In consequence of their having rejected the

448 Archbishop Tail on Confession.
Sacrament of Penance, many Protestants have
come to think but lightly of the reality of the
guilt and punishment of sin. It is often difficult
to convince them that they themselves have any
need of forgiveness, or any obligation to do
penance for past sins. They assert confidently,
that all that is necessary to secure Heaven for
them, was done long ago by our Lord, and that
to examine into their sins and to make acts of
sorrow for these sins would encourage a morbid
tendency and be an insult to the plentifulness of
His Redemption.
I had been taught a different doctrine. In
my childhood I had been taught that self-
examination was1 a duty, that sorrow for sin must
be a reality, and thus as I grew older I was led
to long for reconciliation with God in the way
which He has Himself chosen. I saw that it was
for me a duty to seek that sacrament of mercy
which can only be found with certainty in the
Roman Catholic Church.
When men like Archbishop Tait talk of con
fession and say that it is not in accordance with
the spirit of "our Church" — though it may be
allowed to certain weak minds, who cannot
otherwise quiet themselves, and who probably
are just those who need it least — the question
whether confession is not commanded as implied
in the Gospels, never seems to disturb their con
sciences. They take it for granted that confession

The Sacrament of Penance. 449

is quite unnecessary and superfluous, even if it is
not positively harmful. They assume that it
would be unworthy of Almighty God to attach
such conditions to His pardon. " Who can forgive
sins but God alone ? " Why should they believe
that He has given such power unto men ? WThy
should they believe that the power entrusted by
Christ to His Apostles was to be continued to
the successors of those Apostles throughout all
time? "The sins that you forgive shall be
forgiven." Often and often, notwithstanding,
have they read St. John's account of that Easter
evening in the upper chamber at Jerusalem ; how
their Risen Lord, in His glorified Body, passing
through the closed doors, suddenly stood before *
the Apostles, and gave that great gift — so fitting
a gift for the day of His Resurrection — the
Sacrament of pardon and peace which was to
remain in His Church for ever. For through this
sacrament did He ordain that the soul which had
been dead in trespasses and sins might rise to a
new life ; that the soul which had been bound and
helpless in the winding-sheet of evil habits should
be bidden to come forth like Lazarus from his
tomb and hear the voice of Jesus to His followers
— Loose him and let him go.
Jesus had said, " Peace be to you." He had
shown to His disciples His hands and His side,
and the disciples were glad when they saw the
Lord. The peace and the joy were not for them
alone, but for all who should believe through their
DD

450 Protestant Bishops and their Clergy.
word. " He said, therefore, to them again, Peace
be to you. As the Father hath sent Me, I also
send you. When He had said this, He breathed
on them, and He said to them, Receive ye the
Holy Ghost. Whose sins you shall forgive, they
are forgiven them, and whose sins you shall retain,
they are retained."
If we regard confession simply as a pious
practice, a practice that is advisable perhaps in
some cases, but which, as a rule, should not be
recommended to people in the mass, we are in
harmony with the Church of England. She
makes no practical provision for confession ; her
clergy are not so trained in a system of Moral
Theology as either to qualify them or to justify
them in dealing with immortal souls ; her Bishops
discourage their so dealing, and the Bishops
herein do well. Are not their persistent denials
that any change can possibly be effected in the
elements of bread and wine by the words of con
secration, and the attitude they have always held
towards those of their clergy who have claimed
authority to forgive sins, sufficient indications
that in their own opinion they themselves had
never received such powers, and that they most
certainly had no intention or idea of conveying
such powers to those whom they ordained?
Are these Protestant Bishops not right in this
notion of their office ? Even if we have not
examined the history of Barlow and of Parker,
can we be blamed for agreeing with them ? But

Motives for Conversion. 45 r
. . . death is rapidly approaching, and after death
the judgment, and we must have our sins forgiven
before we die. We have seen that Jesus Christ,
when the sick came to Him to be healed, taught
them to care rather that their sins should be
forgiven. We have seen Christ instituting the
Sacrament of Penance for the remission of sin.
How shall we tell Him that we reject a sacra
ment which He has Himself appointed, that we
prefer a more comfortable doctrine invented by
Reformers in the sixteenth century and still held
by their descendants in the present day ?
It is difficult to set down in detail all the
motives that induced me at last to take the final
step. I know that one motive was " the general
craving for the forgiveness of my sins " (and
especially in the view of preparing for death), of
which my friend had spoken. There was the
wish, moreover, to possess myself of the means of
grace which in their abundance are to be found
alone within the Church — undoubted Sacraments,
Indulgences, devotion to Mary and the saints, and
above all, daily Mass and the continual presence
of our Lord in His sacramental tabernacle. In
trying to do without these privileges I was sensible
of a want of loyalty and gratitude to God. This
became at last too painful to be endured.
Dr. Pusey seems to have found all that he
wanted for the necessities of his soul, in the

452 Dr. Pusey's faith in his Church.
Established Church of England. He thought
that those who could not satisfy themselves as he
was satisfied must be deficient in humility and
in self-discipline. He impressed on them most
strenuously that they ought rather to reckon
themselves unworthy of the helps which the
English Church did provide than to carp at the
incompleteness of those helps. It is evident that
no doubt of her capability of satisfying all his
own spiritual wants ever entered into his mind.
Others, like Dean Church, if not so enthusiastic
in their allegiance, came to the conclusion that
the English Church was after all as well worth
living in and fighting for as is any other Church.
They did not blind themselves to her defects, but
they looked abroad and saw defects elsewhere and
everywhere. There might be much to be pre
ferred in foreign systems, but they need not shut
their eyes to the goodness of their own Church,
and that a goodness which was so manifestly on
the increase. And that most excellent of men
who was the originator of the movement, he who
first sounded the note of alarm and called on his
brethren to arm themselves to defend the prin
ciples of Catholicism — the good and gentle Keble ;
he too, more clear-sighted as he was than Pusey,
less sanguine, and sorely tried as was his confi
dence in his Church, he too thought he saw in
the goodness of the lives, and in the peaceful
deaths of Anglicans so great an evidence that the
Spirit of God was at work in the Church of

Mr. Keble 's Views. 453

England, that he need not fear to remain within
her pale. No voice from Heaven has clearly said,
" Let us depart." Then fear to roam.
But Keble did not deceive himself with re
gard to the contradictory principles which were
struggling for mastery within the bosom of the
Church of England.
In his Preface to Eucharistical Adoration
(Second Edition), he says : " Unless I am greatly
mistaken, the real point at issue in most of the
controversies which have troubled us in the
Reformed English Church might be expressed as
follows : ' Is the Church, mingled as we see it of
good and bad, a supernatural body, separated off
from the world to live a supernatural life, begun,
continued, and ended in miracles — miracles as
real as any of those which befell the Israelites
in the wilderness — as real but infinitely more
gracious and awful ; or is it only a body provi
dentially raised up to hold the best and purest
philosophy — helped, as all good things are, from
above, but in itself no more than the heroical
and Divine phase of this present life ? ' It is
plain at first glance which side of this alternative
brings with it the more intense obligation to holi
ness, and represents sin as more exceedingly
sinful." " It is a sad habit of thought for a theologian
to train himself up in— that of instinctively

454 Reality of the Supernatural.
adopting, out of various expositions, that which
is most earthly and least supernatural."
Mr. Lock1 quotes the above as showing "how
the sense grew upon Keble that the one question
at issue in the conflict of Churchmen was the
reality of the supernatural."
The reality of the supernatural ! That is
impressed on the minds of the poorest and most
illiterate Catholic peasant by the sacrificial act of
worship in which he is daily invited to join. Is
not that act the substance of which the miracle
w©riced for the Israelites in the wilderness was
but the shadow ? It is impossible to unite im
offering to Almighty God the Holy Sacrifice of
the Mass without being made conscious of the
reality of the supernatural. Was it not a sense-
of the supernatural that so powerfully impressed
me when I first entered a Roman Catholic
Ghurch in my childhood ? However men like
Keble may deplore the absence of this sense,
they will strive in vain to make it live in the
minds of those who are severed from that one
supernatural society of men on • earth, the
members of which form the One Body with
the One Spirit,, and the One Faith.
The view of the Church which is most prevalent
in England is, as Keble says, that " it is only a
body providentially raised up to hold the best
and purest philosophy — helped, as all good things
are, from above, but in itself no more than
»• Biography of John Keble. Second Edition, p. 234.

Thoughts in St. Peter's. 455

the heroical and divine phase of this present
life." Such a body is not the Church which our Lord
established and left behind Him on the earth,
and which He promised should be ever guided
by the Spirit of Truth.
I have said how when I was in. Rome I enjoyed
spending a long time in St. Peter's — sometimes
in the subterranean church before the altar of
St. Petronilla, where the great Apostle was buried
— or kneeling at the confession in the church
itself, where the golden lamps are ever burning.
We kneel there, and our thoughts go back to
the Sea of Galilee and to the fishermen mending
the nets which symbolized the nets that were to
gather countless souls so long as the world shall
last — to our Lord teaching the multitudes from
the ship which was Simon's, as He will teach
men to the end of time ; or to that earlier day
when Andrew found his brother Simon, and
brought him to Christ, and Jesus looking on him
said, "Thou shalt be called Cephas — a stone" —
on to the time when the full meaning of that
name was unfolded after the confession of faith
in the Divinity of Jesus had been made by Simon.
We think of those poor fishermen gathered round
Him Who spoke as never man spoke, and as we
gaze up into the vast dome above us, can we fail
to comprehend the significance of the words
which there we read : Tu es Petrus, et super hanc

456 Evasions and Excuses.
Petram adificabo Ecclesiam Meam. Et tibi dabo
claves regni calorum ?
Shall we tell our Lord that we have explained
away these words of His, that we attach no
meaning to them, that we have settled to our
own satisfaction the way in which His Church
ought to be governed and His teaching perpetu
ated, and that we reject absolutely and entirely
the infallible authority which He has provided
for us? Our own interpretations of Scripture,
our own views of what doctrines were held in the
early Church — are sufficient for us.
Thus did the question present itself to my
mind as a question that would have to be
answered one day, when no evasions or excuses
would avail. I could not be amongst those who
can put it aside as a matter that does not concern
them. Because there were so many men and
women who lived good lives, and who died
peaceful deaths amongst Evangelicals, and
Anglicans, and Latitudinarians, and the various
schools into which these are subdivided, it did
not follow that the Church of Rome was not the
one true Church of Christ. I did all that I could
to settle down in the National Church, but in
vain. The " signs of life " in it so confidently
appealed to by Pusey, and admitted at last by
Keble, as satisfactory evidence in its favour,
failed to inspire me with confidence. Yet I can
sympathize most truly with those to whom the
Anglican Church is very dear, who have made for

The Christian Year. 457
themselves a home in it from which they cannot
bear the idea of parting. Some I have known
who felt that it would be a real grief to them to
give up reading the Christian Year as a religious
exercise every Sunday. To me the Christian Year
never was what it has been to countless souls in
the Church of England — the one book that they
prized next to their Bible and their Book of
Common Prayer. In my youthful days I preferred
the Lyra Innocentium, in which there is a poem
for every Sunday and holy day. It was written
in a more cheerful strain, and contained more of
Catholic dogma than did its predecessor.
There were two poems in the Christian Year
that I liked very much and learnt by heart.
These poems were more especially characterized
by that spirit of sadness which pervades the
whole work. One was that for the Eleventh
Sunday after Trinity — beginning,
Is this a time to plant and build.
It described the critical state of the Church and
deprecated the idea of acquiescing in a soft and
comfortable life. We were " to steel our melting
hearts." To watch with firm unshrinking eye,
Thy darling visions as they die,
Till all bright hopes, and hues of day,
Have faded into twilight gray.
The time would come when we should
Bless the pangs that made us see
This was no world of rest.

458 Hidden Saints.
The other poem spoke of a rest that we might
have here — the rest that there is in perfect resig
nation. It began :
O Lord my God, do Thou Thy holy will —
I will lie still —
I will not stir, lest I forsake Thine arm,
And break the charm,
Which lulls me, clinging to my Father's breast,
In perfect rest.
It went on to speak of the Crown, the special
reward — . . . the radiant coronet,
All gemm'd with pure and living light,
Too dazzling for a sinner's sight,
Prepar'd for virgin souls, and them
Who seek the martyr's diadem,
and of how there were many meek, self-forgetting
souls, hidden from the eyes of men, who without
undergoing a death of blood or fire, wopld find
their sufferings so patiently borne, rewarded in
Heaven by the martyr's palm.
Nor were those whose lot here was happier
and more prosperous to despair of reaching the
highest seats in Heaven.
And there are souls that seem to dwell
Above this earth — so rich a spell
Floats round their steps, where'er they move,
From hopes fulfill'd and mutual love.
Such, if on high their thoughts are set,
Nor in the stream the source forget,
If prompt to quit the bliss they know,
Following the Lamb where'er He go,

True Liberty. 459

By purest pleasures unbeguil'd
To idolize or wife or child ;
Such wedded souls our God shall own
For faultless virgins round His throne.
I was a little annoyed when a Protestant
friend who had not long to live, and who knew
that his days were numbered, criticized these lines.
He said that he thought it was hard that the
happy, comfortable, married people were to have
as high a rank in Heaven as those should have
who renounced these worldly joys ! Mr. Keble
perhaps had in his mind the pious occupants of
many a bright and cosy parsonage.
Yet there is one verse in the penitential season
of Lent which suggests that the purest affections
and pleasures of earth may have to be renounced
if we would attain to the true liberty of the
children of God.
Sweet is the smile of home ; the mutual look
Where hearts are of each other sure ;
Sweet all the joys that crowd the household nook,
The haunt of all affections pure ;
Yet in ihe world even these abide, and we
Above the world our calling boast :
Once gain the mountain-top, and thou art free :
Till then, who rest, presume ; who turn to look, are lost.1
Not inappropriate lines for the first Sunday I
spent as a Catholic— the First Sunday in Lent—
when in the exhilaration and delight of new
found liberty, that mountain-top seemed already
scaled, and that city of refuge reached, of which
1 The Christian Year. First Sunday in Lent.

460 Ash Wednesday.
it was said, " Haste thee, escape thither ; for I
cannot do anything till thou be come thither."1
But I am anticipating.
At last I followed my convictions. I could
no longer endure the responsibility of remaining
outside the Church which I now recognized to be
the One Church of Christ. The fear came over
me that my faith might go. I saw that faith was
a gift, a great gift, and that the Divine hand which
bestowed it might withdraw this gift if it were
not cherished. I fixed on Shrove Tuesday as the
day on which I would take some step. But when
that day came, there came also relations to spend
the afternoon. I had been in the habit of going
to the ten o'clock Mass in Farm Street Church.
What should I do on Ash Wednesday ? I had a
vague idea that it would not be seemly for me to
receive the ashes, and so I turned in for the last
time to an Anglican church.
And now Ash Wednesday came, the day
When few to church repair,
For on that day you know is read
The Commination prayer.
And our late vicar, a kind man,
He oft has said to me,
He wished that service was well out
Of our good Liturgy.
The Commination Service used in England on
the first day of Lent does savour of the Old
Law. It would seem to be more in accordance
1 Genesis xix. 22.

Visit to the Oratory. 461
with the Gospel spirit that we should spend our
time rather in praying for sinners than in cursing
them. We were, however, invited to curse them
until that much to be wished for time should
arrive when the discipline of penance may be
restored. I left the church feeling no heart to
join in these denunciations, and wended my way
towards the Brompton Oratory.
It happened that I had a Catholic friend who
was living close to the Oratory. Through his
books and sermons I seemed to know Father
Faber, and I felt impelled to seek for an interview
with him, rather than with one who would be a
complete stranger to me. I consulted my friend.
She promised to arrange for my seeing him. In
much trepidation I went the next day to learn
whether the interview could take place. Having
gone so far, it was a disappointment to find that
Father Faber was engaged for the whole of that
day. He would perhaps be able to see me on the
morrow. This was the message conveyed to me
by another Father.
Strangely enough, I, who had waited so long,
became suddenly afraid that I might die in the
night, or that if I waited any longer my courage
would fail me. I considered whether I should
not beg this Father to receive me at once. He
was not, however, himself a convert, and I
thought he would not understand me so well as
one who was. He might insist on my spending
some time in receiving instruction. This I wished

462 Decision.

to avoid. The necessity of taking the step had
come before me as a pressing and urgent neces
sity. I believed implicitly every doctrine that
the Church taught. Why should I any longer
postpone the avowal of my belief? Further
delay, even for a week, appeared to me to be
fraught with danger.
The same evening I received a letter telling me
that at two o'clock on the following day Father
Faber would see me. Then I felt not a little
frightened. Throughout the night that ensued,
imagination was very busy in conjuring up diffi
culties. It was a dreadful and an entirely
sleepless night. An undefined terror possessed
me, and did but increase every hour. However,
as I had made the appointment, I was resolved
that I would keep it.
Mindful of my experience on the previous
Tuesday, and fearing lest some unforeseen occur
rence might again detain me at home, I went
early to the house of a friend and spent an hour
with her before I started for the Oratory. My
friend was also on the point of being received
into the Church. We passed the time in
discussing difficulties, and in fortifying each
other for the step which we had both resolved
to take.
I never go into the house of the Oratorian
Fathers in London without thinking of that day.
The house remains unchanged. The temporary
church, which was then in use, has been swept

Father Faber. 463
away, and has given place to the present magni
ficent building.
I had not to wait long before Father Faber
appeared. I could not feel that he was a
stranger. His writings had earned from me,
as from many, a great debt of gratitude. Two
of his books — A ll for Jesus and Growth in Holiness
— had taught me a great deal about the spiritual
life. They had made me wish to know more
about the Saints, and about that science of the
Saints which is so little understood outside the
Roman Church. Familiarity with the lives and
writings of the Saints is indeed a great charac
teristic of Father Faber. Growth was intimately
associated in my mind with Rome. The book had
been lent to me there. In anticipation of the time
when I should have to return it, I had made
copious extracts, especially from the chapters on
"Prayer" and "Abiding sorrow for sin." These
extracts had been my constant companions ever
since. During the time that I had been living in
London I had taken every opportunity of hearing
Father Faber preach. His manner was singularly
quiet, as far removed as possible from that of a
popular preacher. There was a charm in his voice ;
mastery of language and originality of ideas were
amongst his most remarkable gifts. Perhaps,
as a compensation for not understanding music
(though I am far from being insensible to its
influence), I intensely delight in eloquence and
beauty of language. As a rule an orator must be

464 Father Faber's Sermons.
heard. His words fall comparatively flat when
they are read, apart from the fire and energy of
the speaker. There are some orators however —
such as Lacordaire and Faber — whose words
when reduced to writing do not lose their power
of enkindling enthusiasm, and of rousing even in
the most timid souls a desire to reach heights of
perfection which had hitherto appeared to them
to be unattainable.
There was to me a peculiar attraction in
Father Faber's sermons. There were sentences
in them which I have never forgotten : rays of
light came from them that have suddenly illu
minated hours of darkness, whilst they have
given additional brightness in moments of spiri
tual joy, and have encouraged perseverance in
vigorous resistance when temptations presented
themselves with almost overwhelming force. But
still I am inclined to think that great as was the
charm of his writings, and of his sermons, Father
Faber was even more attractive as a talker.
Before I left my friend she begged me not to
be hurried into the Church without first getting
a solution of any difficulties I might have.
When people who are endowed with common
sense have the grace to see that if God has given
a revelation, the Roman Catholic Church is the
one Church which even claims to be the sole
depositary of that revelation, they recognize that
the [only safe and sensible course for them to

Difficulties. 465

pursue is that of becoming humble and docile
learners. It is not for them to question the
teachings of an Infallible Teacher. Difficulties
they may have, but they need, not fear to recognize
them, and it is best to face them. Sometimes
a few words from a theologian will solve their
perplexities ; the very statement of them indeed
may go far towards the solution of them. How
often has not the convert experienced that when
he has stated his difficulty, and has said all that ,
he has to say about it, the difficulty itself has
vanished. In formulating it, he has answered:
it. Hell was a difficulty to me — a difficulty to the
imagination perhaps more than to the reason ; -
for the reason cannot but admit that a will which
remains always and irrevocably at variance with
the will of its Creator must ever remain dis
satisfied, and must entail eternal misery on itself.
But in truth, is Hell as great a difficulty as
Heaven is ? Heaven means an eternity of
happiness ; pure, unalloyed, perfect happiness ; a
happiness not dependent on our senses, though
the senses also after the Resurrection Day will
have their complete satisfaction ; not dependent
on creatures, though God will make use of
creatures to increase the joy of the Blessed ; but
a happiness which has its source in the vision of
Him from Whom all that is beautiful derives its
beauty, all that is attractive draws its attractive
ness, to Whom all that is loveable owes its love-
EE

466 Heaven and Hell.
ableness. God Himself is to be our eternal great
reward ! Perhaps we may with effort succeed, in
exciting within ourselves for a minute the desire
of Him, but the next minute, the sights and sounds
df the world, its pleasures, its cares and anxieties,
our own perversity, our impatience and uncharit-
ableness take possession of us again ; and that
we, such as we know ourselves to be, should ever
be capable of seeing God and so of becoming like
to Him, is in truth a difficulty, a wonder that
does but increase each day with our greater
knowledge of ourselves, and the more the sense
of our utter helplessness is brought home to us.
Ah, in truth, Heaven is the wonder, not Hell ! If
here on earth where we are continually pursued,
however little we may advert to it, by the kind
solicitude of a Heavenly Father's love, we can
never realize what it is to be "exiled from the
Eternal Providence," no more can we conceive
of the ineffable bliss, the transformation that is
to be ours when God shall appear and " we shall
be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is." All
this was conveyed in those few words of Father
Faber's : " To me the wonder is that any one
should be saved."
There was a difficulty, too, in the aversion that
I felt at being obliged for the future to give up
entertaining those Latitudinarian opinions which
no doubt are very attractive to the young. They
appeal to that love of independence which is
so inherent in our nature, they recommend

Latitudinarian Opinions. 467

themselves as freeing the mind from unworthy
trammels, and as imparting breadth and largeness
of view. Their shallowness and worthlessness
are not perceived, and to the juvenile intellect
they present themselves in favourable contrast
with sectarian narrowness. Since I became a
Catholic I have learnt that the mind is no more
fettered by the truths of revelation than it is
fettered by the laws of mathematics. It is no
hardship to be certain that two and two make
four, and can never make five ; nor is it a greater
hardship to be certain that there are Three
Persons in One God, and that one of these
Divine Persons assumed our human nature,
and came on earth to be our Teacher as well as
our Redeemer. To profess to acknowledge Christ
as our Teacher, and at the same time to reserve
to ourselves the right to interpret His words
according to our own ideas, is one thing; to
recognize that as our Teacher He left behind
Him on the earth the Divine authority of an ever
living voice to proclaim and guard and explain
His doctrine to all succeeding generations, is
another. If He did this, then we have no right
to choose those doctrines which we like and to
reject the rest ; it cannot be a matter of indiffer
ence whether we submit to this Divine authority
or not. I saw this in a dim sort of confused way
so long as I was outside the Church. I feared
that if I became a Catholic I should have to
be continually condemning others, and should

468 Intercourse with Anglicans.
become intolerant and narrow-minded. It seemed
hard that the many good Anglicans with whom I
was acquainted should not be allowed to believe
with Dean Church that the English Church is as
well worth living in and fighting for as any other.
It suited them. They were leading useful lives.
They were sincerely attached to their own form of
religion. Apparently they had never had the call
to inquire into the claims of the Roman Catholic
Church to their allegiance. Should I be required
to blame them ? Should I have to do my best to
open their eyes ? Would not this make social
life very tiresome ?
I was relieved to find that I need not blame
them. I was not their judge. I might hope that
they were in good faith, and in the state of
invincible ignorance. As to opening their eyes,
unless they invited me to do so, I need not
undertake it so far as talking to them was con
cerned. I should be bound, however, by showing
kindness and by setting a good example to attract
them to the faith ; and above all by prayer,
continual earnest prayer, I should endeavour to
obtain for them the grace to receive and embrace
it. That the increased sense of responsibility in
social intercourse would be tiresome, was not to
be denied. It was a thing that must be faced. The
out-and-out Protestants would not indeed occasion
much difficulty, for they would avoid having any
intercourse with a convert beyond that which
was demanded by the barest civility. With

"Truth is not ours, but God's." 469

Anglicans and with Latitudinarians, however, it
is hardly possible to be sympathetic without
giving a wrong impression — the impression that
you think they may be quite content with their
own views of religion and that they may ignore
with impunity the teaching of that Church which
you know to be our Lord's representative on
earth. The more charitable and kindly they
consider you to be, the more sure they feel that
you must regard their position and opinions with
indifference. They have never grasped the fact
that "truth — and this," Father Faber said, "is
one great distinction between Catholics and
heretics — truth is not ours, but God's."
If, however, we are ourselves penetrated with
this conviction, we may hope in some way to
convey it to others, without assuming an attitude
of offensive superiority and increasing in them
the spirit of contradiction.
I had read many Catholic books. I had
become familiarized with Catholic worship and
had but few difficulties to be solved. My wish
was to be admitted at once into the Church, and
to this the Father saw no objection. It was the
first Friday in Lent, the feast of the Crown of
Thorns. He said that there could not be a more
appropriate day. I repeated the Creed, made
my confession, and received conditional Baptism.
The process was simple, straightforward, and
business-like, very unlike the ways of Anglicanism.
There was no vagueness and hesitation. The

470 Home at last.
Church knew exactly what she was about and
what was to be done. She was my true mother
and her arms were around me. There came
a sense of security, a feeling of unutterable peace,
a joy such as I had never before experienced.
When I found myself again in the Brompton
Road I asked what had happened. The shops
and the cabs and the omnibuses were the same,
but how changed was I !

It may seem presumptuous to assume that the
record of my own thoughts and feelings in the
search for truth will interest others. My excuse
is in the certainty I feel, that to many it will but
recount an experience which they have themselves
undergone. I think they may welcome it, not
because it records my experience, but inasmuch
as relatively it records their own.

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