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SOME IMPRESSIONS

A Twenty-five Years' Ministry.

Preached in Sharon, Conn., Sept. 30, 1883, and repeated
by request, Nov. 18, 1883,

THE REV. JAMES R. BOURNE.

Text, Lamentations iii. 21. — "This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope."

SHARON, CONN.:
PRINTED FOR MR. E. B. REED.
1883.

SOME IMPRESSIONS

A Twenty-five Years' Ministry.

Preached in Sharon, Conn., Sept. 30, 1883, and repeated
by request, Nov. 18, 1883,

THE REV. JAMES R. BOURNE.

Text, Lamentations hi. 21. — "This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope."

SHARON, CONN.:
PRINTED FOR MR. E. B. REED.
1883.

SERMON.

Text— Lamentations, iii. 21 : "This I recall to my mind,
THEREFORE HAVE I HOPE."
The mountain traveler, when he reaches an eminence, stops
instinctively and looks, not to the height yet to be reached,
but gazes backward to consider the way he has gone, and
recalls to mind the various incidents and points of interest
which he has met, rejoices in all the gain he has made, and
strengthens his heart for what may yet lie before him.
Much, owing to the valleys and turns of the path, escapes his
sight, and, unless his memory is particularly retentive, drops
easily from his mind. But each elevation that is reached,
bathed as it would be in the rays of the sun, would stand out
prominent and bright, upon which he would gaze with enkind
ling joy and courage.
Any public man, with twenty-five years of that life passed,
has had experiences of various sorts beyond those of any
others. Not unnaturally do I think that a minister's experi
ence is more varied than that of all others, even if it were true
what has been said, that " a minister sees people at their best,

the lawyer at their worst, and the physician just as they are."
It would argue ill for one's judgment who should estimate
either wholly from the worst side or the best.
Standing now on what might be called a hill-top, like the
traveler, I turn to look over the ground already passed.
There are the valleys of humiliation through which I have
walked, lying deep in the shadows ; round the turns, the scenes
of trials and sufferings, disappointment and sorrow; but I
have never treasured them as delightsome, they are fading fast
from memory and I shall not use this occasion to drag them
from their obscurity. Had I any such thought how could I
give you any unnecessary pain who have so recently illumined
this season with a hearty assurance of your respect and esteem
and in many respects have made this hill-top to easily overlook
the others in brightness and hope.*
When a young man commences his work in the Christian
ministry, however gifted he may be by nature, however great
his attainments by study and application, his religious experi
ence most probably is limited, and he has attempted a great
work when he steps forward to lead some portion of the Lord's
host. So great, that how nearly perfect his confidence in him
self or his mission, he may well tremble, as Luther did, every
time he enters the pulpit ; not only because he there stands
observed of his master, but also to speak to veteran saints,
fathers in God, mothers in Israel, worn with the way, patiently
* This alludes to a gathering of his people at the parsonage, Sept.
21, and their surprising him with a gift — twenty-five silver dollars,
to mark the anniversary, and one hundred and twenty-five in gold
for the golden wedding they hoped he would reach.

waiting and meekly taking from his hands the bread of life.
How often I thought, as my eye fell upon the faces of aged
disciples looking up so expectantly, whose years of religious
experience far surpassed my age, what have I to say that can
feed them who so often in the years that are flown have been
ministered to by the Master himself through the Holy Spirit ?
I felt ready to flee and hide for my very presumption.
With rare grace some of them mingled, the teacher with the
taught, in their intercourse with me and sustained my courage
in many delicate ways. My first deacon, now for some years
in glory, was one of these. Perhaps he was fitted for the
place he took in my heart by his gentle consideration and
thoughtful care, because he was the father of ministers, having
two sons that entered the ministry. But I have found that so
far as friendliness, courtesy and kindliness went, amid all the
variety which one would expect to find in several persons, he
was the forerunner, though they all, to a man, in the several
churches where I have been called to minister, have been
equally pleasant and agreeable to me, and I never received
from any of them an unpleasant word or look. I am happy
always to bear this testimony, and feel that my experience
ought to weigh somewhat to ward off the flings that are occa
sionally heard against these men, who as a class will compare
favorably in intelligence and piety with any other, no matter
what their name is.
I have found the churches quite considerate, and remember
with the fondness of a first love the little band to which I first
ministered. Out of regard to my inexperience they requested

me to lighten my labors by selecting some printed sermon for
the second service, thus relieving me of the task of preparing
two discourses a week. With the same frankness with which
it was offered I accepted the proposal and tried by preaching it
instead of reading it, to make it profitable to them. With a
similar partiality they said they could not tell which was mine
and which was another's ; the pulpit was high and so they
could not see whether a book or manuscript was used, until
they discovered that with some I turned a leaf over immedi
ately, while with others the leaf was not turned at once, and
that they concluded was the printed one. I have often
thought, in the case of young and inexperienced ministers, if
the same thoughtfulness were manifested by their churches,
they would be able to build more solidly and the churches
would be better edified. For, if young ministers feel at all as
I felt, the sermon last completed seemed to have drained all
the springs within. People sometimes think that a minister is
like a full barrel and can be tapped at any time, anywhere, and
there will be a sufficient flow. It may be true, but the minis
ter's impression often is that the last drop has been drawn out
and there is nothing more. He finds, indeed, that he is mis
taken, and the people nearer right, for his mind is like a living
spring which does not cease to flow when you have taken the
last dipper-full out, — by the time you want to dip again there
is water in plenty.
I commenced there, having two sermons, the other three
which comprised my stock I had already preached to them.
No more favorably situated for exchanges than I am here, I

made greater exertion to secure them, feeling I must, after
writing three discourses, have a breathing spell offered by an
exchange. I went there with great hopes. My theological
instructor taught us that we must preach, expecting results
from it ; that we should urge the truth so clearly and sharply
that the impenitent would have to decide then and there either
for or against God; and in that we were to find our result, for
men shirk that decision by every means possible ; therefore
our hope was, that in driving them to decide, they would
decide for God. Thus I began looking to see the truth I knew
had found acceptance, but learned as Luther's companion did,
that "the old Adam was stronger than the young Melancthon."
But whatever disappointment I have met, the same expect
ancy and hope fills my heart as I prepare and preach the gos
pel. If ever that hope ceases, my ministry will cease. Al
though often disappointed because I do not see what I hope
for, I continue to look and am assured that my labor is not
in vain in the Lord, and that what I know not now of its
achievement I shall know hereafter.
My ministry has been interrupted several times by prostra
tion, so that I was obliged to stop and rest before going on,
about four years of the time being out of active service.
While serving I have preached twice each week and on occa
sions oftener ; nearly half the time during the past ten years
without notes, because I thought it better for myself and the
people to vary the service, that through the freer way of
extempore preaching a monotony might be avoided.

I should be glad to mention seasons of great refreshment had
they occurred, but while I have had no marked visitations of
the Lord in the way of great accessions, there has been for my
encouragement now and then the favor of leading one to the
acquaintance of the Saviour. The church which I served last
before coming here, in the seven years of my service received
one-third of its membership. About the same percentage
seems to continue in my present pastorate, but I am hoping,
praying and laboring that it may increase ; and I ask for your
hopes, prayers and labors with me to that end. Nothing has
so weighed upon my heart as the spiritual welfare of the
churches where I have labored. I have put up no more ur
gent prayers for anything, not even when the death-angel hov
ered over my household, taking one of my little flock and
coming very near to another, than I have for the Church of
God and for the souls of the impenitent ; and yet, to my great
astonishment, I have found that the prayers which I have offered
for personal and material things have often been answered
with an alacrity that amazed me, while the other petitions not.
for myself, but for the church and the conversion of the im
penitent have remained unanswered to that degree which was
the burden of my prayer. Gladly would I have relinquished
the personal and material favors which were given, even
beyond my request, could I have had instead, the spiritual
enlargement of the church and the conversion of many, who,
like the young man of the gospel, drew out my love. It is a
mystery I cannot fathom, why my personal wishes should so
often be met, while to my prayers for a blessing upon the

Lord's people I hear in response — wait, wait. It would seem
as if the latter were the more important. So at least I consider
it. This among other mysteries must await the revelation of
the last day.
When I look over the record and see all those I walked with
" in the valley of the shadow of death," as scene after scene
reappears from the chamber of memory and I look again upon
those faces, so many of them bright with the hopes of immor
tality, I feel how blessed it is "to go to the house of mourn
ing," to see those in the darkness which is to come over us all,
and find our faith strengthened by seeing theirs, at such a
trying time. Great has been the extremes of age of those
whose funerals I have attended, ranging from the infant of
days to the hoary age of ninety-one. Equally great have been
the differences of circumstances, covering all grades, from the
house of affluence to the almshouse. In all these have I found
the disciples of Christ, and I could not see but that his com
forts were administered just as lavishly in the poor-house to
those of his people there, as in the mansions of the wealthy. I
found it true that " God is no respecter of persons " or circum
stances, and that he is faithful respecting his promise that he
would never leave nor forsake those who put their trust in
him. The sustaining power of his grace was never more ap
parent than in one family, where there were ten children, into
which that scourge, diptheria, entered ; all were more or less
sick and three died. So frightful was it that none could be ob
tained to render household assistance, and in the midst of it all
a babe was born. After the death of two of the children, a

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twelve year old son, who had been sent away with the young
est child, begged to return home. The house had been fumi
gated and cleansed and" they thought all danger was past. He
came home, was taken sick and died. On the day of his death
I was riding and met the doctor. "Where are you going?"
said he. " I am going to see this family." " They will be
glad to see you," he said. " I have just left them ; they are
all in the chamber with Charlie singing hymns, and he is trying
to join with them ; I never saw such a sight before." I drove
on, went in and found them with aching hearts, but sustained
by a faith in the love of Christ, which was unshaken by the
severe dispensation which had fallen upon them. Speaking to
the boy and telling him of the love of Jesus who had died for
him, I asked if he could trust the Saviour whatever he might
do. " Yes, sir." Can you trust him to take care of you in the
other world? "Yes, sir." Are you sorry you came home if
it proves you cannot live ? " No, sir." And all with the
calm trust which we might expect from an aged saint, but
hardly looked for from a child. So he died and found his
faith answered by the folding arms of the Redeemer. Such
scenes as these have fixed firmer and firmer my faith in the
blessed Redeemer, and in the hope in which Christian parents
may train their children, so that they shall " come up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord." I knew this was a
Christian family and that much instruction was given, but the
mind of this child I did not know ; he was a shy boy, not easy
to divulge his thoughts or speak of his hopes, but the Christian
training had not been lost ; and when the trial came, then it

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was found, to the comfort of the parents and able to help them
in the heavy strokes, thrice repeated in six weeks.
Another time, I called to see a young man who, having
taken a sudden cold by lying on the ground after the hard
work in the hay field, fell into a rapid decline. His parents
were both believers. He had rather shunned any close talk
with me, but he was now near his end and I called to see him.
The mother was so troubled at the thought that she might not
have been faithful to her son that she did not go in with me.
His father was there, and he lay propped up in a chair just
able to speak audibly. I suspected he had imbibed semi-infidel
notions from the current magazines and papers and was not
surprised when I asked him if I should pray with him to have
him respond, " Just as you please, if it will be any comfort to
you." "No, sir," I replied, " I have no desire to pray for myself
now," and rising gave him my hand and farewell. Before I
could leave the house, he sent for me to return, said he "would
be glad to have me pray for him, but he feared it was too
late." If ever I preached the gospel I preached it then, to
that soul hovering between life and death. I can now see his
large, dark eyes fixed with the utmost intensity upon me as I
urged him to trust the Saviour who died for him. As I rose
from prayer he whispered a few words to me which awakened
the hope that he had not found it too late, because God had
accepted him. When I reflect upon scenes like these, the
glory of the minister's calling stands out, challenging all other
occupations and looking with disdain upon all other prizes
beside the renewal of souls. Toil, deprivation, hope deferred,

12
all are nothing when there comes the success of turning a sin
ner from the error of his ways, because a soul is thus saved
from death. O, so many have spoken to me of the loving
kindness of the Lord ; at so many turns have I been met by
testimonies of his faithfulness, and from places where I little
expected it, that I feel sometimes as if my way has been con
stantly lighted from on high, and if ever it had appeared dark,
it was not from want of light, but my eyes were closed.
What has affected me perhaps as much as anything, is the
confidence which many have reposed in me as a disciple of the
Master. If they had given all praise to him, it would have
been all right. The only drawback was, my incapacity to do
more for those who looked to me for comfort and support. I
recall with a pang one poor young man whom I attended
through a long sickness and helped him through the dark val
ley. He knew I had secured good homes for orphan chil
dren, and the last word he sent to me on the night he died
was to get Christian homes for his three little ones. He had no
question but what I would do it. I did try, and I tried hard,
but I could not succeed, and it is always with regret that I
think of his confidence in my ability and willingness, both of
which were unavailing.
These reminiscences of my pastorates will be reason enough
for my belief that the minister's life is an earnest one, and his
message should be earnest too. Standing as he does, with one
hand beckoning to you and with the other pointing to the
cross, what other than a serious aspect blended with gentleness
should he have ? Passing through such scenes ever and anon,

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how can he be otherwise than watchful of the trust committed
to him ? Do not these things ever spur him to make evident
his calling as an ambassador of Christ ? From my own experi
ence it is beyond my comprehension how any should prove
careless of their trust.
Having so many tokens of God's love, it is a pleasure to
commend it to you, and the only drawback is the reluctance
with which the message is received by those who need it most.
If the testimony were only taken, if the word of assurance
only believed, angelic service could not afford more joy. You
may ask, were there no dark scenes through which you passed,
no painful surprises that you met '{ Let your own experience
tell you if I have been likely to escape. It is not in my heart
to draw to light those things which are dropping into oblivion.
I am on a height now, it is the bright spots that fill my mind,
and because of these recollections I have hope.
Some are alarmed at the condition of the church, especially
that branch to which we belong, as if it were to suffer another
apostasy as in the earlier portion of the century. I do not
apprehend it, for while individuals may receive views not in
harmony with the creed of the church universal or evangelical,
and even churches may be swept into the current, the main
body of the churches will remain fast to " the faith once deliv
ered to the saints." However much we must lament the adop
tion of views which will cripple individual Christian life and
hamper the progress of Christ's kingdom, we must be the
more urgent to live Christly ourselves, and see that his
kingdom does not suffer because of us. We have the assur-

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ance that if we do his will we shall understand his teaching,
for only obedience can enlighten that which otherwise would
be dark and obscure.
I want to say a word from my experience for the benefit of
those who, when approached with an appeal to become Chris
tians, are apt to point out the evil they see or know of church
members. I can testify from all these years of experience
that they are not wholly bad, and although I have found some
that were not genuine, I never felt like turning my back on
the church for that reason, as I would not turn away from a
plate filled with coin because I have taken spurious ones. If
it were not the right thing to be a follower of Christ, there
would be no pretending to be such. I would add also that I
have never found one in all thess years, who followed Christ
with any degree of faithfulness, who ever regretted it, or who
did not feel that godliness was great gain. I am standing
where it seems to me my testimony ought to be of great
weight. I have nothing to gain or lose by it, while you have
either great gain or great loss, according as you take it or
reject it.
Looking back over this quarter of a century I have touched
upon a few things whicli have left their impress upon me, and
the sum of the whole bids me look forward with hope to the
future, whatever that may have. Whatever it may have, I
know that it shall not lack mercy and love from God, and
with that all other things may not only be endurable but joy
ful. I am content to let God fashion me as he will. I do not
prescribe, as once I did, the way in which to do it ; for since I

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tasted the cross, while resigned if placed upon me, I do not
wish to presume or dictate that it should thus be laid.
Nearly three years of this time I have spent with you, and
they have been as happy, and in many respects happier, than
any other three consecutive years. Your affection, respect,
confidence are very dear to me, your welfare lies next my
heart ; if I make mistakes it will be through ignorance, and I
shall count nothing so dear to me as any service I can render.
I shall searcli my experience for things for your profit, and lay
under contribution all I possess of wisdom or power to aid you
to live that life which is hid with Christ in God. If you stray,
my tears shall fall ; if you falter, I will hasten to support you ;
if you run in the way of God's requirements, I will run with
you; if you stand fast in the ways of God, we will sing
together his praises. I think I may say, without affectation,
that the interests of this church absorb my mind. I am
often aware of my deficiencies and lament that I cannot
do more, and wonder at the evident esteem in which you
hold me.
It would not be just, while upon this point, not to say that
under God the most of what you see to respect and esteem in
me, is due to her who has walked with even step these twenty-
five years by my side. I say most, because she often assured
me that she had good material to start with, but for her word,
I should make no reservation. The praise due her is beyond
words. And now in closing these impressions, let us all look for
ward, not to another quarter century, but only day by day,

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therein to do faithfully the work assigned us, and if in our
hearts there arises the sweet joy that we have a home in heaven,
let it be our study how to bring others to share in like joyous
hope. "Kings cannot command it, with all their power,
yet beggars may enjoy it, and poverty may possess what
wealth cannot purchase." If we are faithful, brother, sister,
we may help fill these many mansions ; if our life shows that
we are guided by Christ, others may put themselves under his
leadership too. To stay that vast procession down the broad
road, to turn one here and another there has been the work
of apostle and prophet ; it is the work also of the humblest
Christian. The kingdom of Satan is doomed. His power
is waning, and every faithful soul adds to the glory of Christ's
name and the discomfiture of the great adversary.
Where shall we be twenty-five years hence ? Some of us
here, some of us shall have gone on to render our accounts
with God. What matters it where we are, if we are servants
of his, whether in his kingdom on earth, or his kingdom in
heaven ? The principal matter is to be in his kingdom ; that
we may all be if we will heed the call of Jesus Christ. Then,
whether in the body or out, the concern is small, for we shall
alike be under his care and the recipients of his grace.
If these thoughts and incidents shall be any comfort or
support for any of God's people, if they shall make a lasting
impression upon the heart of any impenitent soul, that would
be a crowning of this anniversary, the joy of which would
float over time and fill eternity with its rapture and glow —
" This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope."

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