YALE UNIVERSITY LIBRARY 3 9002 06979 1797 YALE UNIVERSITY ART LIBRARY "PUNCH" DRAWINGS BY F. H. TOWNSEND "PUNCH" DRAWINGS BY FT Hf1 TOWNSEND WITH A FOREWORD BY J. BERNARD PARTRIDGE NEW YORK FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY PUBLISHERS CONTENTS F. H. TOWNSEND . (Photogravure) Frontispiece Foreword ¦ Drawings OI • 1904* j ) y> 1905 ) » t ) 1906 j j f j 1907 y y y j 1908 ' » j i) 1909 »y j > 1910 y i y ) 1911 y ) } y 1912 y > y) 1913 1914 ) ' j j 1915 j j y ) 1916 ) > y y 1917 j J y y 1918 y y y y 19191920 Political and Parliamentary Sketches, 1912 — 1920 * Year of Publication. 7 13—14 15—1819—2727—33 33—3939—47 48—6i63—79 79—93 93—109 109 — 123 124—134, 139 135—137. 140—156 155 . 157—176 . 177 — 187 187 — 197 197 — 215, 226 . 216 — 225 FOREWORD BECAUSE the pen has always been to me a stubborn implement for the expression of either form or thought, I charge myself with a measure of temerity in undertaking to write a few words about my late colleague by way of introduction to this selection from his work : yet for that temerity I may perhaps, as doyen of the Punch staff, plead, if not authority, excuse. It must have been somewhere in the middle "eighties," when, I think, he was still a student in the Lambeth School of Art, that I was first attracted by Townsend's work. I was then drawing for the Lady's Pictorial, and I recall with pride that I had some hand in inducing the Editor, Mr. Alfred Gibbons, a man who had an unerring flair for effective work, to add Townsend to the band of young artists he had collected to his service. Dudley Hardy, Maurice Greiffenhagen, James F. Sullivan (of British Workman fame), "Mars," Pilotelle, Fred Pegram, and myself were all regular contributors: we all looked on Gibbons as a very Maecenas among editors, and I think he got from us the best we had to give. From those early days I watched Townsend's progress, and it is curious to note, while his powers of observation ripened and his style shed something of formality, how little the slick dexterity of his essential method changed : it was crystallized from the outset. Nor can one readily read into it the informing influence of any particular master. I suspect Schlittgen, of Fliegende Blatter, of having influenced him as much as anyone in those early days ; perhaps, too, one may catch here and there an echo of Reinhart, the American: but in the main Townsend's work, though he was a close student of the things that other men produced, was too individual to owe more than a borrowed hint or two to anyone. The residual quality that I find in that work, as I found it in the man, is unconquerable gaiety. Joyousness, sanity, and sureness of his power were 7 Foreword explicit in all he did. Look at any of these drawings that I have here selected: there is no hesitancy anywhere, nor affectation: the theme is set down firmly and with conviction: the witty line, now crisp and decisive, now blond and rippling, flickers in and out of it and plays about it jauntily, suffusing the page with that silvery sparkle of which he held the secret. Problems did not daunt him. He hurled himself, as it were with a whoop of joy, on difficulties that many of us would shrink from, attacking and defeating them with every appearance of ingenuous ease : one would almost say that the more complicated and difficult his problem, the more he gloated over the task of setting its solution on paper. Like der Breitmann, he sought to " Solf der infinite Ash von eternal shpree." The thing he abhorred was banality : he told me once that as Art Editor he had "no use for drawings of two yokels leaving out their h's in bright sunlight " — which seems to me a very happy summary of a certain type of machine-made drawing. Nevertheless, his equipment lacked something of imaginative vision, and this I think is the reason why his cartoons are perhaps the least successful part of his output. The solemnity of the cartoon was often irksome to him. He had, I know, little sympathy with Tenniel's austere classicism, and even of Sambourne, that scarcely appreciated wizard who coaxed an intractable line into eloquence — almost fluidity — he was merely tolerant. Hence it is natural that where a certain grandiosity of treatment was indicated, he should have done himself something less than justice; but whenever his subject was one that might " come funny," as he phrased it, he would tackle it with impish zest, and produce a page compact of boisterous frolic. It is this same trend of his outlook that makes his Parliamentary sketches in some ways his most interesting achievement. Here, with light heart and light hand, he could give his fancy full rein. The sheer Foreword delicious joviality of these trifles is the natural effusion of his boyish personality and vital impulse : he rollicks among the politicians in the festal spirit of some roguish puppy. The portraiture is always full of intuition ; often grotesque, but never acrid. Once he lent me some of his Parliamentary sketch-books : they were crammed with rough notes — not subtly searching studies such as that prince of caricaturists, Leandre, produces, but vivid apercus of personalities, swiftly, almost savagely sum marized on the spot, in Lobby or Press Gallery, and instinct with amazing vitality. He was prolific of ideas, and very rapid in putting them on paper. Sitting next to him at our weekly dinner I have delighted to watch him scribbling on the back of a menu card some notion for a cartoon or political sketch. The heads and figures were often mere ovoid forms, but they were vivid with meaning, and a sense of construc tion controlled his slightest note. A few slashing lines on the card with his left hand, and the pencil would be shot over to the right, an explana- tory legend inscribed, and the thing was done. Phil May, too, another of my neighbours at the Punch table, was fond of jotting down stray fancies on his menu card ; but while his touch was even more sure than Townsend's he always drew with more deliberation and elaboration, and what he did was always a learned and completed sketch. It is, however, in the third department of his Punch work — his " social " drawings — that Townsend's skill will probably be most acclaimed, and on them, I think, his fame will ultimately rest. Though not dowered with the delicate distinction of Du Maurier, or the more rugged strength of Keene, he yet holds an honoured place in Mr. Punch's pages by virtue of his conspicuous gifts in the grasp of character and the presentation of action. Such types as the "flapper," the shop-girl, the suburban "blood," the small tradesman, the pompous profiteer and the like, he sets before us with a penetration and precision that few others have approached. And with what an engaging suavity of line he draws his pretty woman! How tenderly he analyses her gait and action, how b 9 Foreword lovingly his touch lingers over the eloquences of hands and feet! He revels in the subtleties of arrested gesture, of turgid movement : these things he understood and interpreted to perfection. He was a born illustrator, for he did truly illumine his theme, forcing significance into every passage, wresting it from accessory figures and setting. And not least among these "socials" the drawings dealing with sport display these gifts in a very special degree. Himself an ardent devotee of golf, cricket, and fencing, he was of course peculiarly apt in recording these sports pictorially. Somewhere— not in the pages of Punch — I have seen some fencing sketches of his which are prodigies of flashing adroitness in the realization of rapid movement, and make the best things of Frederic Regamey tame by comparison. There is one other department of Townsend's activities to be touched upon. He was the first Art Editor of Punch, and held the post till his death ; but as I hardly came into contact with him in that capacity I can say little else than that the pages of the paper during those years of his office bear patent tribute to his discriminating taste, and his ready adaptability to the Punch tradition. I well recall, however, that evening in 1905 when he made his first appearance in Bouverie Street, and the astonishing ease and assurance with which he wore his new authority : most of all, the enthusiasm with which afterwards, as we shared a seat homeward on an omnibus top, he told me of the things he was planning for the paper, the new men he was going to secure, and so forth. I urged him, I remember, to lure back that elusive genius, J. F. Sullivan, to resume his fitful appear ances in Punch, but this time with a free hand given to his quaint fancy with pen and pencil ; and Townsend was confident that he could do this. I know not if the project was ever attempted, but for some reason, alas! it was never realized. There was another occasion, too, that I recall with gratitude, when, dazed and bewildered over a cartoon, I faced something like despair; and Townsend took the loathsome thing I had produced and added to it the few touches that enabled it to make a shameful appearance 10 Foreword in the weekly issue. Ah, those pangs of cartoon-making — that stand-up fight against the pitiless tyranny of Time, d brule-pourpoint ! I wonder if Townsend ever suffered them. I think not. As I said, he pranced among obstacles with a light heart and a sure foot : his resource was too various, the training of his eye and hand too sure, the tissue of his accoutrement too close-knit, for the chilling fear of defeat ever to enter his confident soul. Self-reliant and gay, he takes his place in the long rank of British line-workers whose record' has glorified more than half a century. And what a splendid procession it is ! Ford Madox Brown, Sandys, Millais, Walker, Pinwell, Boyd Houghton, Mahoney, Green, Small — erant autem gigantes in diebus Mis — and who will deny that Punch has worthily continued the noble sequence with the names of Leech, Tenniel, Sambourne, Phil May, Raven-Hill, Gunning King, Shepperson and Townsend? We are thankful for, and proud of, the work these men achieved, the sane British dignity and grace of it all : shall we not then be jealous to safeguard the tradition they set up ? But the restless disturbance of the balance of things politic reacts inevitably on things aesthetic, and so even in Art the cloven hoof of Bolshevism peeps forth, seeking to overthrow the shrines that have been hallowed for centuries, treading slime into the temple and capering obscenely in the holy places. And see the idols that are set up ! Nature is no more to be the Mother Goddess. Art is to be no more, as we were told, the expression of her through a temperament, but a temperament expressed in terms of — anything but Nature. The subjective proposition is to be forced on us at all cost. Ars est ostentare artificem is the motto to be hoisted — the portrait shall reveal, not the soul of the sitter, but the soul of the painter — naught else avails. The precieux from his little pulpit used to prate sneeringly of the "painted anecdote," not seeing that thereby he was sneering at pictorial art throughout the ages : because littleness of theme may sometimes be linked to titanic accomplishment, he shrieked that theme was an excres cence in Art, was even an offence : yet now in these mad times behold n Foreword the painted anecdote is acck.iMed once more, but it must be the anecdote of the painter's emotion ! The outlook of the child, naif and aspiring, is the only true ideal, and so forsooth the man of experience must scourge his vision back into the pose of immaturity, thus branding himself pseudo-naif and retrograde ! And to set the fitting crown on the grim farce, the photographer thrusts himself smirking into this mad orgy of challenge and distortion, dubbing himself artist, and his snap-shot a "study." All these things, we know, are set down as solecisms in the very primer of Art ; yet heresy stalks ever more widely abroad, and scoffs at the truths of the ages. And till the balance swings back to normality, as it must, we can but stand apart, grieve and endure. £> '&¦ & ["A great-granddaughter of Fielding's has revised Tom, Jones for home perusal."— Daily Paper.] If the Descendants of other Last-Century Novelists show the same enterprise, we shall have Nursery Scenes as above. F. H. Townsend 's first drawing for " Punch? Jan. 2, 1897. 12 "PUNCH" DRAWINGS BY F. H. TOWNSEND WOMAN EVER UNREASONABLE. " Hands up ! or I fire ! ! " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1904 4 4 A BIG PILL. ' What is it, my Pet ? " ' Oh, Mum Mummy — I dreamt I'd sw-swallowed myself. Have I ? " THE NATIONAL GAME. OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB. We had Thirty Seconds left before the time for drawing stumps. Our two last Men were in, and we wanted one Run to tie and two to win. It was the most exciting Finish on record. H 1905 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend • OUR EVENING ART CLASSES HAVE COMMENCED. Mr. X. {our dear Professor, ivho ahvays puts things so tellingly) : " In conclusion, I can only repeat what I said last Term — 'It's all light and shade, Ladies, whether you're painting a battle-piece, a bunch of grapes, or a child in prayer!' " SWEEPING ASSERTION. "The other night, at the Novelty Theatre, Mrs. Vere- Jones was gowned in a clinging black velvet, with a cloak of same handsomely trimmed with ermine." — Extract from Society Journal. 15 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1905 . />***' "K "N^, X^J^~T"- U loVO^g*^ _ , <^ £ - . IN COUNTY CLARE. " Glory to goodness ! Sure 'tis a motor-car. Where's me coat ? Bad scran to it, it's over yonder on me spade. Niver mind, darlint, I'll put me waistcoat over your purty face the way ye won't see the great murtherin1 splutherin1 divil." " Cabman ! Cabman ! ! Surely you're going out of your way ? " " Bless me, Mum, you give me quite a turn ! I'd forgotten all about yer, and was driving back to the Stables.' 16 1905 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB. At our opening match, Spinner, the demon left-hander, was again in great form. His masterly skill in placing the field, and his sound knowledge of the game, really won the match for us. "About three feet nine to the right, please, Colonel — that is to say, your right. That's it. Back a little, just where the buff Orpington's feeding. Thanks." " You, Mr. Stewart, by this thistle. Just to save the one, you know." His ruses were magnificent. When the Squire came in, Spinner (who had previously held a private consultation with the other bowler) shouted, " You won't want a fine leg for this man. Put him deep and square." And then The Squire was neatly taken first ball off a glance at fine leg by Spinner himself, who had crossed over (exactly as arranged) from his place at slip. 17 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1905 A HEARTY APPRECIATION. {A Ducal Surprise Visit to the Yearlings.) First Stable Boy. " Chats away just like an ordinary — no side about he ! " Second Stable Boy (tuarmly). "Yes — and she— so •womanly I " OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB. The Squire said he could produce a team to beat the Village on Bank Holiday. It was certainly a close thing. When Colonel Blaize, their last man, came in, they were only five runs behind. Spinner then played a bold game. He took himself off, and put on a slow bowler with a most ghastly break from the leg, and, by Jove ! the Colonel was caught off his glove first ball. Some of the fellows heard him saying, as he glanced round after taking centre, that he had never seen the field placed so ridiculously when he was at Eton. 18 IQ06 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend ^^B^gssmil "TOO OLD AT FORTY?" Mr. Punch, having heard a rumour that a certain American Professor is alleged to have said that a man is "too old at forty," begs to inform his patrons that he personally, at the age of sixty -four, is going as strong as ever — as shown in the monthly record of his prowess. Thus— In JANUARY he won the Waltzing Competition at Prince's. SBC lliKx FIRST NIGHT OF AN UNAPPRECIATED MELODRAMA. He. " Are we alone ? " Voice from the Gallery. " No, Guv'nor ; but you will be to-morrow night." J9 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1906 Little Albert (always thirsting for knowledge). " Uncle, do they pronounce that ricocfeying or ricocfofting ? ' DUTY FIRST. Her Ladyship (who is giving a Servants' Ball) to Butler. . "We shall begin with a square dance, and I shall want you, Wilkins, to be my partner." Wilkins. " Certainly, m'Lady ; and afterwards I presoom we may dance with 'oom we like ? " 20 1906 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend INTRODUCTION MADE EASY. Invalid-Chair Attendant. "If you should have a fancy for any partickler party, I can easily bump 'em.' An Early Morning Snapshot in the Suburbs. Mr. Bumpus dresses his window. 21 :' Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1906 THE DESCENT TO MAN. ' Are you aware, Sir, that your dog has bitten this child ? " ' Well, the boy's been aggravating him ; and, after all, the dog's only human ! " \°-"'VO'"» '. Boy (reassuringly). " It's all right, Miss. I'm only looking for our cricket -ball ! ' 22 1906 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Nurse (to fond mother of celebrated musical prodigy). «' Please, Mum, is Master Willy to 'ave 'is morning sleep, or go on wiv 'is Sixteenth Sympherny ? " MELODRAMA IN THE SUBURBS. Elder Sister. " Do give up, Nellie ! They're only acting." Nellie (tearfully). "You leave me alone. I'm ^enjoying it!' 23 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1906 ^ Lock-keeper (hearing a squeaky rowlock, and looking out for a tip). "Shall I put some grease on your Scull, Sir?" " Grease on my Skull ? No, thanks. I've tried everything." 24 1906 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend [Sir 'William Bull, M.P., is anxious to form in the metropolis a Society for Completing Modern Buildings. "Look," he says, " at the Thames Embankment, with its pediments for sculpture, and not one filled in, except the space which I got occupied by the Boadicea group."] It is hoped that Chelsea, with its Artists' Quarter, will take advantage of the magnificent oppor tunity offered by the four Chimeys of the Generating Station. Why not an Equestrian Statue of Carlyle, reading his own works ? " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1906 Billiard Enthusiast (having mistaken his room at the hotel, holding on to knobs of bed). " Which do you prefer, Sir ? Spot of plain ? " " Mummy, what's that Man for ? ' ,26 1906-7 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Policeman. "Where did you get that bag?" Bill Sikes (indignantly). " There you are ! Nice thing, in a free country, that a man can't have a quiet hundred up without the Police interfering ! " ?'V "Johnny, doesn't your conscience tell you that you are doing wrong ? " "Yes, Mother, but Father said I wasn't to believe everything I heard." 27 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1907 THE ALTRUISTIC TOUCH. Lady Bountiful. "Oh, dear Miss Smith, do send me some of your priceless little sketches for my rummage sale on the 26th." ^oJ li-i- Funny Man. "Pardon me, Sir, but wouldn't you find it more convenient to carry a watch ? " 28 i i 1907 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB. PRACTICE BEGINS. We don't think he had a grudge against the new schoolmaster— anyway Spinner did ask him if he wouldn't put on some pads. Jones (miscalculating length of train, and jumping off with difficulty). " Sorry — I really— I beg your pardon ! " Miss Beauchamp. " Conceded ! " 29 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1907 ^- ,..7 A TRAGEDY OF THE GUTTER. Kind Lady. " What have you lost, little boy ? ' Boy (sadly). "Jam tart, Mum." OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB. (Spinner tries a ball or two before the First Match.) Excited Chorus. " Steady, Spinner, steady ! Here comes t'other side. Don't let 'em see you bowling ! " 3° 1907 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend PRECEPT AND EXAMPLE. 3* ' Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1907 THE BULLYON-BOUNDERMERES AT COWES. Mr. B.-B. "Here've I spent thousands on a yacht, because you said we must 'ave one, and now when I want you to come a trip to Norway, or somewhere, after the Regatter is over, you say you 'ate the sea, and won't be on it more than you can 'elp. What's it mean, M'ria ? " Mrs. B.-B. " My dear man, you don't seem to understand that I've no use for a yacht except as a short cut to the Squadron Lawn." MRS. BULLYON-BOUNDERMERE'S MUSICALE. Mrs. B.-B. (the newest of "new " hostesses, fluttered and anxious, awaits arrivals). "I do hope it will all go off well. Dear Lady Lacksiller has managed everything so beautifully. A Duchess and three Countesses coming ! Now, Joseph, once more and for the last time let me entreat you to talk as little as possible, and pray, pray take care of your H's." Mr. B.-B. " Right you are, M'ria. I'll take care ; I shan't say much more than 'Ow-d'ye-do ? " 32 1907-8 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Butcher. " This one, Mum ? " Old Lady. " No'." Butcher. "This one? This one?" Old Lady. "No. No." Butcher. " Just tell me when I'm gettin' warm, Lady ! " Now that motors are sweeping the children off the roads, the railway tracks remain their only available play ground. At least you know where you are with a train. 33 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1908 \^ | av^fe rt ca " Sit tight, Auntie ! There's another sharp turn coming ! " ,!_!- RURAL INDEPENDENCE. Vicar. " A Happy New Year to you, Giles." Giles. " Right O ! " 34 1908 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend " To cheat thee of a sigh, Or charm thee to a t-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-a-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r." Enthusiastic Golfer (from tbe gallery). " Jolly good ' follow through,' Sir ! " FLOWERS OF SPEECH. He. "Anybody takin' you down to feed?" She. "No." He. " Shall we toddle down together ? " She. " Right O ! " He. "Well, we'd better barge along at once." IThey barge. 35 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1908 Conjuror (to Harry, who has kindly stepped up to assist with the card tricks). " Now, Sir, you know what a pack of cards is ? " Harry {determined not to be made a fool of). "I know what a pack of cards are!" Financier. " So you're thinking of painting pictures ? If you take my advice, you'll paint like Reynolds. There's money in it! " 36 1908 Punch " Drawings by F- H. Townsend A COUNSEL OF PERFECTION. •Egg-spoons, Annie ! Egg-spoons !. When you lay eggs, always lay spoons too ! " "Whit way hae ye gi'en ower smokin', Donal' ? " ¦•Weel it's no sich a pleesure after a', for ye ken a buddy's ain tebaccy costs ower muckle ; and if ye-rTsmokin' anither buddy's, ye hae to ram yer pipe sae tight it'll no draw. 37 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1908 1 j ,\ jSK* tT&sw /£>, "• k#£'*"^ •T> 1 OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB. £rdfe(f anof confident Chorus. " HOW'S THAT ? " Umpire. " I wasn't looking — do it again." 45 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1909 OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUB : PRACTICE BEGINS. The visit of the Australians has given a fresh impetus to local effort. Study, showing how only the willowy type is likely to survive the stress of modern traffic. 46 igog Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend &c<*rf^X\& Ho (j FOOTBALL RESULTS. Amid the rush and roar of our modern Babylon, it is always beautiful to go apart and commune with some twin soul upon the themes which give a meaning to life. 47 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1910 THE RULING PASSION. Fair Bridge Enthusiast (as nervous Curate shuffles his notes before giving out the text). "I'm afraid, dear, he's going to make it spades." CONSOLATION. Wife of Belated Foxhunter. " Oh, Perkins, what do you think can have happened to Sir John ? Surely if he'd been thrown and hurt the mare would have found her way home by now?" Coachman. " Oh, no, Mum — a nice gentle animal like 'er would have browsed round the body until it was found." 48 igio " Punch " Drawings by FJ?H. Townsend THE WARRIOR'S RETURN. Time— January 10, Evening, after the issue of 'Writs. Chatelaine. "Will my lord again ride forth to break the heathen on the morrow?" Noble Earl. "Nay, henceforth I must e'en watch the bloody fray from the home turret.' 49 1910 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend BALM. ' Speak, Saunders, speak ! Don't you know me ? I'm your Landlord ! ' '1,1 Mill >'"Ml/' A CHILD OF EARTH. Grannie (after seeing an aeroplane for the first time). "Ah, well, this flying in the air is very wonderful, but I Uke old England best, after all." 51 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1910 " Father." " Well, what is it ? " " It says here, 'A man is known by the company he keeps.' Is that so, Father ? " "Yes, yes, yes." " Well, Father, if a good man keeps company with a bad man, is the good man bad because he keeps company with the bad man, and is the bad man good because he keeps company with the good man ? " " THE LITTLE MORE, AND HOW MUCH IT IS ! " "Play up ! play up for the big prizes ! Ten, ten, nine —twenty-nine points. 'Ard lines, Sir. If you'd got thirty you'd have won a gold watch. M'ria, give the gentleman a bag o' nuts." igio " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE COLOUR QUESTION. British Workman (to German Comrade). "My poor friend, I hear that under your fiscal system you are reduced to eating black bread ! " German Workman. "My dear fellow, my heart bleeds for you. I hear that under your fiscal system you have to put up with white ! " 53 1910 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE OPPORTUNIST. AN APPETISER. Traveller. "But, Waiter, I only ordered two eggs. You have brought three." Waiter. "I know, Sah, but I thought possibly one might fail." 55 •"'Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1910 i.^-^tfi* ,v. The Captain. RUSTIC YORKSHIRE TAKES THE FIELD. " Thou taks first over, Croft, and thou stumps, Blacksmith, and t'others spread yersens aboot i' loikely spots.' ' Gentle disposition ! Why, he wants to bite the head off every dog he meets. I've been swindled." ' You didn't ought to keep dogs at all, Mister. The animals you ought to keep wiv your temperament is silkworms ! ' 56 1910 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE TRUE ECONOMY. John Bull (on the Territorials). "Fine service, what? Pity they're short of men." F.-M. Punch. "Yes, my friend, and if you want your voluntary system to go on you'll have to put your a bit deeper into your pockets. You'll find it cheaper in the end." hands 57 1910 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE TEUTONISING OF TURKEY. German Kaiser. " Good bird ! " 59 1910 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend A STAR IN ECLIPSE. Miss Budget. "Ah, last year / was principal boy, and now I'm not in the bill at all!' 61 191 1 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Londoner (to Pat, seeing a Rugby game for the first time). "What do you think of it, Pat?' Pat. " Begorra, it 'ud be a jewel of a game if they only had shticks ! " Smithson Junior (as the homily ends and the real business is about to start). "Please, Sir, is it sterilised?" 63 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 191 1 | ovv't^p: William Shakspeare dictates two Plays and a Sonnet simultaneously. (Tableau arranged by the Express Typewriting Bureau.) Eleanor of Castile inoculates Edward of England against the Effects of Poisoned Daggers, Arrows, etc. (Tableau arranged by Sir Almroth Wright.) IF THEY HAD LIVED IN THE DAYS OF GOOD KING GEORGE. 64 ign " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend V~, \\ ^ ^Nr^K(te H ^ ' <\ II THE BLIND SIDE. German Officer. "Glad to hear you're going to fortify your sea-front. Very dangerous people, these English.' Dutchman. "But it will cost much." German Officer. "Ah, but see what you save on the Eastern frontier, where there's nobody but us!" 65 igu Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE COUNTESS AND THE TAXI-DRIVER. Receiving this drawing by mistake, our FeuiUetoniste, Miss Victoria Glynn, wrote round it as foUows : — " Glueing her Ups to his, ' Fly, Albert,' she cried ; ' I hear my father's 22-cyUnder in pursuit in Belgrave Square.' " But the author was in error.. It is reaUy an iUustration for our "Shopping Column," and the words are simply, "Stop at the MetropoUtan Fur Stores — third on the right past Bond Street." "Aunt Mary, this is my friend, Mr. Spiff kins." "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch the name." "Mr. Spiffkins." " I'm really very deaf ; would you mind repeating it ? " " Mr. Spiffkins." " I'm afraid I must give it up — it sounds to me just like ' Spiffkins.' " 67 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1911 ' Signs are not lacking that there is a widespread revolt, among our more serious sisters, against the reckless extravagance of the last two years." — Fashion Notes. Miss Kensington Goare, after her late orgie of buttons, Now does it in one. Uncle George (up in London for the Festival of Empire). ' Remarkable progress since I was a boy — wonderful faciUties -march of science ! Four two five two Western, please, Miss." 68 191 1 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend ^Wj A VERY-NEAR-EAST QUESTION. Mr. Punch (in the Green Park). "Look here, my boy, this is where we're going to have a statue of King Edward." Boy. " We could do wiv' one of 'em down at ShadweU, Mister, and a park to put it in." Mr. Punch. "You should have both, if I had my way." [There is a strong movement in favour of devoting a part of the King Edward Memorial Fund to the creation of a Public Park beside the river on the site of the disused fish-market at Shadwell, a neighbourhood that stands in great need of open spaces ; and to the setting- up of a statue to preserve the memory of his late Majesty among a population not less loyal than that of West London.] 69 ngii Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Umpire (ivhose favourite bowler has been knocked out of bounds). " You know, young gentleman,. that wasn't a ban to hit.' Batsman. "No? I dessay you're right. It does seem to have given a lot of trouble." Reporter (attending fashionable wedding). " Can you find me a seat ? — the Press." Verger. " I'm afraid not, Sir — the squash." 71 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 19U Macpherson (about to drive at the eighteenth tee, and breaking the silence which has been maintained since the start). " Dor-r-r-my." Macphail. " Chatter-r-r-box ! " LE MOT JUSTE. ' I regret, Madam, that we do not stock ' Blue Danube ' Soap." 'We can obtain it for you, Madam." " Can you get it for me ? ' 72 I I 11911 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend "OFT IN THE STILLY NIGHT." " Methought, I heard a voice cry, ' Sleep no more ! ' ***** StiU it cried, 'Sleep no more!' to all the house." (Macbeth, Act IL, Scene I.) 73 iign Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 75 igign " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE WELSH NATIONAL STEEPLECHASE. )ld woman, old woman, whither so hitfh ? ' 'Old woman, old woman, whither so high! 'To sweep the steeples off the sky.'" 77 1911-12 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend English Golfer " I say, Count, you've played my baU ! " M. le Comte. '" MiUe pardons, M'sieur. 'Av one of mine.' Naturalist (to lady enquiring about a stuffed canary). " Would you mind shutting the door, Ma'am ? We don't trouble about it as a rule, but there's a smaU snake got loose." 79 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1911-12 Smithson (who has been giving his partner " a rattlin' good time "). " We seem to get on awf'ly weU. We must have some more." " Of course you've heard of Mrs. Silas P. Blick, the Mrs. Malaprop of America ? ' "Why, yes ; but I had no idea she'd been married before." 80 1912 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend TIBET GO BRAGH! Mr. Redmond (to the Grand Lama of Tibet). "As one oppressed nation to another, Ireland's heart goes out to vou your passionate loyalty to the principles of Home Rule ! " * 81 1912 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend " Oh, Ma'am, Ma'am. I've swaUowed a safety-pin." "So that's where my safety-pins go, is it? " MORE LABOUR UNREST. First Employee (discussing the Principal). " It you get in 'er bad books she 'as got a spite." Second Employee. " Yes, it don't matter what you do, you've done it, although it's got nothing to do with you.' " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1912 RETRIBUTION. • Mr. A., who claims to have done more for the cycle and motor-car industry than any man, has been ordered walking exercise by his doctor. This is his first Saturday afternoon in a Northern suburb. First Music-Hall Artist (watching Mr. J. M. Barrie's " The Twelve-Pound Look " from the wings). ' Ilike this yer sketch ; the patter's so good. 'Oo wrote it ? " Second Music-Hall Artist. " Bloke caUed Bajpe, I think." First Music-Hall Artist. " Arst for 'is address. 'E writes our next." 84 1912 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE GREAT TRAM v. MOTOR-BUS QUESTION. The Motor-Bus (triumphantly). "There you are, look at me ! / don't have to run in a- silly old groove. / can go where I like." 85 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1912 The Cocoa-makers at BournviUe seem to have a good time [see Advts.], but this is nothing to the blissful Ufe of the makers of Punch. The following tracings from photographs cannot Ue. The Punch Compositors' Polo-ground. The Punch Pleasaunce (Whitefriars). -ggg^sg The Punch Typists' Swimming-bath in the Garden at the back of Bouverie Street. The Punch Proof-readers' BiUiard-room — sixty tables. If a Punch employee marries, her bridal dress is given by the firm, and mannequins from Purine's attend and the blushing maid makes her choice. 86 1912 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend STILL ANOTHER INJUSTICE. Wee Teetotal McGregor. "Excuse me, Madam, me first." [The Temperance (Scotland) Bill will occupy two days of the new Session before the Home Rule Bill can come on.] 87 1912 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend exfit** W,^ NOW OR NEVER. English Opera. "I do wish I could think there was a home for me here." [A number of eminent British musicians have pointed out that the present moment is a golden opportunity of establishing National Opera on a permanent basis by the purchase of the Kingsway Opera-house.] 89 1912 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE LOOKER-ON. La Tricoteuse (Mr. John Redmond). " Ca marche, begorra!' 9' 1912-13 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Conjurer. "Now, Sir, you admit that the card you have just taken out of the handkerchief is the O of Clubs yet the card you chose and securely tied there, namely, the Ace of Spades, I now produce » this hat." Timid Volunteer. "So sorry — my mistake. Harassed Hostess. ",Do you dance, or are you a walnut .' ' 93 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1913 Lynx-eyed Hubert (appearing,, as usual, from nowhere). "Excuse me, Sir, but I think it my duty as a Scout to inform you that you have a smut on your nose." Mi[f\ III!'1 miiii" <&fs^ Our Demon Tangoist (to fair stranger, to whom he has just been introduced). " What's doin' ? What's doin' i WiU you shout ? " Fair Stranger. " How about number fifteen ? " Demon Tangoist. " Nothin' doin', nothin' doin'. Shout again." 94 19^3 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend SHELTERING THE NEW YEAR. 95 19*3 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Delicate Lady (witnessing leap for Ufe by old gentleman ¦who has no time to escape except by springing on bonnet of on-rushing car). " Dreadful man, doing those tricks, and me with a weak heart ! " Club Hall-porter. "Good night, Sir; and no step at the door.' 97 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1913 GENTILITY IN OUR GARDEN SUBURB. 'Just think of it, Mrs. Brown has got the telephone fixed. I wouldn't have one." 'Why not?" "You have to associate with anybody." "-H \->w s\V..S\\\ ' First Caddie. " Does it make yer dizzy lookin' down these 'oles ? ' First Caddie. " Then why don't you go to the pin sometimes ? " Second Caddie. "No.' Reclining Nut. ' ' I don't bother to hold the girls now-a-days, I just Jet 'em nestle.' 116 1914 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE LIBERAL CAVE-MEN; OR, A HOLT FROM THE BLUE. Harassed Chancellor. " It's not so much for my feet that I mind— they're hardened against this kind of thing ; but I do hate rocks on my head." 117 1914 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 9&* Aufe. ^3^^^— BRAVO, BELGIUM! ng T9n4 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend ° 4 a *< 3 CQ 6 *- a 8 .3 s a ~ O -M a c |f'¦-t-i P ,2 -a s d IS •? B s O rt ii 01 oi •Si ° S J * SI* fe ft °-3 '"S U .22 u IT'S ° a a | „- J3 ft) TJ ^ -g Vi ra O 3 en ta 1*8 £-E >- ¦mi a .9 - " § * a ^i a M « § ~4> "is ¦»* ato 8 "3 a a » 4) -o Oh 2 ^s rt *> a U H U i-1 - 1* 5 £ 8 O -m-o 3 3 121 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1914 Kindly Hostess (to nervous reciter who has broken down in "The Charge of the Light Brigade"). "Never mind, Mr. Tompkins, just teU us it in your own words." TYPICAL SPRING BLOSSOMS IN OUR GARDEN SUBURB. I2i 1914 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend APT NOMENCLATURE IN OUR GARDEN SUBURB. AU REVOIR ! 123 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend i9J5 IN THE SEARCHLIGHT. Mabel (with a brother in the Anti-aircraft Corps). " Mother, they think she's a ZeppeUn.' CRICKET AIDS JUSTICE. Cross-examining Counsel. "Now, my lad, be very careful. You have stated that you saw the hay-rick on fire, and that, five minutes afterwards, you saw ' Beefy ' Saunders riding his bicycle along the Petersfield Road. Now there are two brothers Saunders, Harry and Alfred, aged 17 and 16 respectively. When you say 'Beefy Saunders,' which of the Brothers Saunders do you mean ? " Witness. " 'Im wiv a ghastly break from the orf." 124 i9x5 "Punch" Drawings by F. H. Townsend FOR THE WOUNDED. Published on the 7 th of April, prior to a sale at Messrs. Christie's, when over 1,500 generous donors (including the King) presented art treasures and relics of unique historical interest to be sold for the benefit of the British Red Cross Society and the Order of the Hospital of St John of Jerusalem. 125 I 1915 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend WORDS— AND DEEDS. 127 19*5 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Tommy (who has just caught an intruder and is asphyxiating it). "iNah, then, what abaht yer bloomin' respirator ?," "gw-iijij "Yes, Sir, these Zeppelin raids — words can't de scribe 'em. They're — well, if I might coin a word, Sir — I think they're 'orrible ! " 129 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1915 THE REFINING INFLUENCE OF WAR. The Victor. " Now, I s'pose I got to give you first aid." tH. - J1 \J<.) - -j'MaZ~ rr i'~WK» y 0/ vy>Y 'J- ^^s^^^T"^ w -s c "^ ^ is Sergeant (drilling company). " Left— Right— Left— Right Left— Left Left " Mother. " We must keep in step, MolUe." Mottie. " Yes, we must. I can do the ' Left — Right,' but I can't manage the ' Left — Left.' How do they do it ? ' 130 19*5 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend CHURCHILL S'EN VA-T-EN GUERRE. Winston (through force of nautical habit, to Sir John French). " Come aboard, sir ! " *3* 19*5 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend A PUNT PATROL. === TV^ovvWctM s, yWN(eN,E> \in \r\l& Harassed N.C.O. "CaU that 'presenting arms' ! If I was the King and you presented arms Uke that, I'd- I'd throw my hat at you ! " 140 igi6 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend ^^L OUT OF THE LIMELIGHT. Crown Prince (still before Verdun). "People seem to be losing interest in my exploits. I think I shall have to carve out a fresh career as one of these submarine commercial travellers. 141 iqi6 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend ITALY'S DAY! M3 igi6 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend OUR SPOILT WARRIORS. Tommy. "I went to a place a bit further down the road for supper last night. I don't go there again." Lady Muriel Beltravers- Montmorency. " Oh, what's the matter with it ? " Tommy. " What's the matter with it ? Why, they have paid waitresses there." Officer (to Tommy, "who has been using the whip freely). "Don't beat him ; talk to him, man — talk to him ! ' Tommy (to horse, by •way of opening the conversation). "I coom from Manchester." M5 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1916 GIVEN AWAY. Boy. "Mother, we oughtn't to be in this carriage, ought we;? It's first-class." Mother. " Oh, darUng, you mean we ought to be economising in war-time ? " Boy. " But, Mother, we are economising, aren't we ? We've only got third-class tickets.' Patriotic Scots Lady (patrolling Victoria main-line station to assist any of her stranded countrymen arriving from the Front). " Can I help you in any way ? " Perplexed Scot. " Thank you, Mam. Is the toon far frae the station ? " 146 1916 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend A WASTED LIFE. Kaiser (to Count Zeppelin). "Tell me, Count, why didn't you invent something useful, Uke the 'tanks'? 147 igi6 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend SECOND NATURE. Absent-minded Colonel (as sidesmen march up to the altar with offertory). " Pick up the step there in the rear Me ! ' THE SPREAD OF KULTUR. Tennis-player (whose partner has sent a lueaft return). " Kamerad ! Kamerad ! ! ' 149 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1916 Elder Sister (who has had the notice on the door explained to her). " Mabel, we're not to talk about the War.' WAR, THE LEVELLER. Emily Sparrow (who voluntarily does the washing-up at our soldiers' canteen each evening from 8 to 12) 'Nah, then, Lady Montgumbery-Wilberforce, urry up with them plates!" 15° 1916 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend ^taH^\ WHAT WWLL SHi ©OR^ BECQINF^ o Mr. Punch's design for a frontispiece for 7#e Girl's Popular Educator (War Edition). 151 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1916 Keen but diminutive warrior (unable to go the pace). than I can. Am I in step with the rest?" ' I say, long-legs, you can see further down the road gp .:'&t< 13 't WHAT ENGLAND DID NOT "EXPECT." Shade of Nelson. "In what action did you get those wounds, my man?" Bluejacket. "Demonstration at Athens, sir." Nelson. "Did our Fleet give 'em hell?" Bluejacket. "Oh no, sir. I'm told they're neutrals." 153 1916-17 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend dismount " Heavens, Sergeant, what's this ? " " That joke of mine, you know— when I ask a recruit who's been thrown, ' Who the devil asked you lount, Sir?' WeU, here's one of the papers says it's the oldest wheeze in the world !" to IN FRONT OF THE FRONT. The Crown Prince in Paris. A little visit to the Louvre. 155 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1916 POTTER'S BAR. Aunt Matilda (of Potter's Bar, who, over a dish of tea, is telling us her experience of the latest Zeppelin raid). " I diddled 'em ! I diddled 'em ! I put my hat on the garden hedge and ran off into the field ! " 156 ¦Lcjiy Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend SNOOKER POOL AFLOAT. Commander (as the black he has tried to pot threatens to touch the port cushion). "List her to starboard !' Sentry (for the second time, after officer has answered "Friend," and come up close). "Halt ! Who goes there' Officer. " Well, what happens now ? " Sentry. "I couldn't tell you, Sir, I'm sure. I'm a stranger here myself." r57 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend T917 oa . Tirpitz up the Thames. Tube Conductor. " Pass further down the car, please ! Pass further down the car, please ! ! (In desperation) Any lady or gentleman present know the German for ' Pass further down the car ' ? " '58 1917 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend X W^'T THE APPLE OF DISCORD. Austria. "Where did you get that?" Germany. "Spoils of Roumania." Austria. "WeU, if it's not big enough to spUt you might let us have the core" Germany. "'There ain't going to be no core.'" 159 igi7 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend UNMADE IN GERMANY. Bethmann-Hollweg. "And to think that I, who defended the violation of Belgium, should have my honesty doubted. Surely I am frightful enough." [The Kaiser's Chancellor has been attacked in a German pamphlet which ridicules bis " silly ideas pf humanity," and says that "nobody need be surprised at the rumour which is going through Germany that he has been bought by England."] 161 1917 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend HI -S THE COUNTERBLAST. Kaiser. "Had a glorious time on the Eastern Front." Hindenburg. "A little louder, AU-Loudest. I can't hear you for these cursed British guns in the West." 163 1917 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend j'3 ¦ Newcomer (to veteran sanitary orderly). "Are you the reg'lar gard'ner, or just in for the day?" Bosch (downed after long Homeric combat). " Kamerad ! " pa^ "Be jabers, 'tis the word I've been thrying to remember for the last three minuts." 165 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1917 Private Saunders (whose battaUon, having been sent back from the front line for "rest," is compelled to spend the night tn the street, its billets being still occupied by other troops— to cheery pal, who breaks into song). " 'Ush, Ginger, you'll give the town a bad name." * Harassed Decorator. "I'm very sorry, Mum, I 'aven't been able to paper your two top bedrooms Thev took ™*Z -TLl^n "^ 3 W6ek ag° f°r &e Army' SeemS t0 me they think more of this 'ere war ^an they do of paper- anging. 166 1917 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend KEEP THE HOME FIRES BURNING." SOLO BY OUR OPTIMISTIC PREMIER. [67 1917 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend PERFECT INNOCENCE. Constable Woodrotu Wilson. " That's a very mischievous thing to do." Sweden. "Please, sir, I didn't know it was loaded." 169 1917 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend I , II / i 1 -!^"-°#w ^/pwno j J 0 in j jf i)imiK~WB\ ' -^ THE LETTER AND THE SPIRIT. Prime Minister. "You young rascal! I never said that." Newsboy. "Well, I'll lay yer meant it." 171 1917 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Stage Manager. " The elephant's putting up a very spirited performance to-night." Carpenter. " Yessir. You see, the new hind-legs is a discharged soldier, and the front legs is an out-and-out pacifist.' im^ ¦'

S^-i THE IRREPRESSIBLES. Tommy. "And to think there's a music-haU comedian at home getting three hundred quid a week for singing ' The Army of to-day's aU right ! ' " s^,::£H--.Vfe== \ aVtNJfe*fcja J«» "jig. Officer (to sentry, who claims to have killed a German who was attempting to swim the canal). " But how do you know you kiUed him ? " Sentry. "Well, Sir, as soon as 'e sees me 'e dives. I throws a bomb at him, and then I sees oil come to the surface." W 177 ^4 CO ^3 . Co tu 8 Co THE RANGE-FINDERS, A vision of the coming winter under coal control restrictions. M OO 1918 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend < 2 S ON woa H 0/3W>K >o 0 3 Cl, 179 igi8 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Win-the-War Sergeant. "Remember the golden rule, GenUemen. Keep a leg each side of the horse and you can't come off." WITH THE I.E.F. Tommy. "Bong jorno, Signora. Any apples to-day ? " Signora. "Non, niente. English-' Napoo.' 181 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1918 Old Lady. " Can you tell me what is inside the sandbags, young man ? " Special. " Sand, Ma'am — hence the name." ANOTHER CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR. ' And what was your reason for deserting your wife ? " " Religious motives, Sir. She was making an idol of me.' 182 igi8 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend > — r ¦^i^^rfl***!*. VJ ^^ :„ ^p>^> ' HOTEL- ©IS IR®HS EN EXIL THE LEAGUE OF ABDICATIONS. Ex-King of Greece. "Hullo, Ferdie! Seen anything of WiUiam?" Ex-King of Bulgaria. ' He's somewhere behind. He'U join us a bit later.' 183 1918 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend ^**. - — %ddf' THE NEWEST ARMY. Subaltern. " Of course I can't ask you to mess, Dad ; but get yourseU some extras at the canteen with this." (Hands his parent balf-a-crown.) First Irrepressible (from the other platform). " What ho, Charley ? Got a bit o' leave ? " Second ditto (from this). " Yus." First ditto. "When yer going back?" Second ditto. "Tuesday midnight — if it's fine!" 185 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1918 Fr>s^ Caddie (reading). " ' It is rumoured that the Kaiser has abdicated.' Wot's that, Bill ? ' Second ditto. "It means 'e's so many down to bogey 'e's tore up 'is bloomin' card." BEATING THE U-BOATS IN OUR GARDEN SUBURB. Saturday Evening Onion Parade. 186 1918-19 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE STRESS OF WAR. Our Garden Suburb bends to the Storm. Golf Enthusiast (on her return from following important match — ecstatically). " Oh, Mother ! The champion spoke to me !" Mother. " How interesting, dear. What did he say ? " Enthusiast. " ' Stand aside, there ! ' " 187 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1919 Colonel. " Is it true you struck Private Jones ? " Private Maloney (addicted to politics). "The answer is in the infirmary, Sir." --<<^ -^ THE THREAT. 'Nah then, Augustus, just you keep in yer depth there, else you'll 'ave the lifeboat after yer." 188 igig Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend V \^ ANOTHER FROG-AND-BULL STORY. The Frog. "Acting on the advice of my friends I have decided to postpone further distension." 189 I ngig Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE HAZARD. Mr. Lloyd George (using heavy niblick). "I don't say it's a showy weapon and I don't say it suits my weU-known free style, but it's the only one for the situation." 191 1919 "Punch" Drawings by F. H. Townsend HOLIDAY JOYS. ' Would 'you care to make up a rubber, Sir ? That is, if you don't mind playing with strangers.' 'Not at aU. As a matter of fact I very rarely get a game with any of my friends." Tommy (homeward bound and determined not to disappoint). " Why, Missy, three days before the Armistice the air was that thick with aeroplanes the birds had to get down and walk." 193 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1919 "What are you trying to do, No. 4? ' It's no good, Instructor ; I ain't got no head for heights.' THE SWUNG FLOOR. Binks (at last torn from the refreshment room, where he has spent the first five dances). " Am I, or does it ¦ J 94 igig Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE DELIVERER. Locomotive (stationary through strike). " Once aboard the lorry and the girl is mine no more ! ' '95 1919-20 "Punch" Drawings by F. H. Townsend An appeal for the Middlesex Hospital will be made for donations to wipe out a debt of £20,000 ; to carry out repairs postponed during the War ; to meet the increased cost of every commodity, and to provide fresh accommodation for the Out-Patient Department, designed for less than half the present attend ance (50,000 a year). The Hospital comprises General Wards with a capacity of 361 beds ; a Cancer Charity (92 beds) ; a Convalescent Home at Clacton-on-Sea ; Research Laboratories and a Children's Welcome Centre. This noble work stands in instant need of the generous help of the public, and Mr. Punch begs his readers of their charity to assure its continuance. Contributions to the Prince of Wales's Ust should be addressed to The Earl of Athlone, The Middlesex Hospital, W. Newly-crowned Cotton King (with the plovers' eggs). " 'Ere, my lad, take these darn things away. They're 'ard-boiled and absolutely stone-cold." 197 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1920 Eminent London Architect (submitting his designs to our Village Victory Memorial Committee aid warming to his work). "¦ ¦ ¦ and, surmounting the whole, a graceful figure of Victory, with wreath — so." Mistress. " Can you explain how it is, Jane, that whenever I come into the kitchen I always find you reading ? ' Jane. "I think it must be them rubber 'eels you wears, Ma'am." 198 ig20 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend ANOTHER TURKISH CONCESSION. Turkey (anxious to save the Peace Conference from embarrassment). " Europe ! with all thy faults I love thee stiU. If lou insistest, I am prepared to stay with thee, bag and baggage." 199 1920 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend .•¦¦ '.'WANTED." Holland. " So you say you'd Uke me to surrender the ex-Kaiser ? " Entente Policeman. "WeU, ma'am, I didn't go so far as that. I only asked you for him." 20 1 ''K-OT 1920 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend "OLIVER 'ASKS' FOR MORE." Miner. "You'U be sorry one of these days that you didn't give me NationaUsation.' Premier. "If you keep on like this there won't be any Nation left to nationaUse." 203 1920 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend WHITSUN AUCTION AT OUR BOARDING-HOUSE. Ruffled Veteran (whose partner has not led her suit against a "three no-trumps"). "NOT HAVING (realises the enormity of her offence) — er — er — played- the game -before, partner ? " Reveller. " So it's you who're turning the street round, is it ? ' 2°5 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1926 Enthusiastic Lady (at Musical At Home). " Do you remember what this tune is out of, Doctor ? Used to be aU the rage when we were in our 'teens. Tum — tum — tum — tum — tum — tum — tum — tum ? " Eminent Dyspepsia Specialist. "The words are familiar." 1 ''' Mistress. "Too many weeds, WiUiam." William. "Let 'em bide, Mum. Nothing Uke weeds to show young plants 'ow to grow.' 206 1 920 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend L'ENFANT TERRIBLE. Young Turk. "I will fight to the death for our national honour." Old Turk. "WeU, if you must. But I wash my hands of the whole business — unless, of course, you win.' 207 1920 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Coster (reassuringly). "It's orl right, mum. 'E's 'ad 'is breakfast.' \- ^ -J-.- \s Mollie. " Auntie, don't cats go to heaven ? " Auntie. "No, my dear. Didn't you hear the Vicar say at the Children's Service that animals hadn't souls and therefore could not go to heaven ? " Mollie. " Where do they get the strings for the harps, then ? " AA 209 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1920 Prospective Mistress, " Are you a consistently early riser ? " Maid. "Not arf! Why, Mum, in my last place the master's pet name for me was 'the early worm." 1 — -. J Wicket-keeper (by way of showing sympathy to victim of demon bowler). "Rum game, cricket." 210 1920 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Aspiring Solicitor (speaking in telephone with the idea of impressing supposed client). "Yes, teU the Lord ChanceUor I wiU lunch with him, and shaU be very happy to give him the benefit of my advice in the matter his lordship mentioned. Good-bye. Now what can I do for you, Sir ? " Supposed Client. "WeU, I've come about your telephone, Sir, which I understand from your letter to us has been completely out of working order since yesterday." i^^nilWfitftf" v*N*fl5^wnrf %ir^->, Fond Parent (who has done pretty well in woollens). " WeU, Sonny, we've decided to give you the best education that money can buy. After aU, you won't have to do anything except be a gentleman." Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1920 Informative Fielder (to batsman who seems inclined to weigh the situation). "That's out, George.". Mistress. " Would you like to go out this afternoon, Mabel ? ' Mabel. " 1 am going out." 212 1920 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend A SEA-VIEW OF THE SITUATION. Indignant Lodging-House Keeper. "And to think of that there Eric wanting to squeeze the poor hohday-makers before I gets at em." 213 1920 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend THE JUDGMENT OF PARIS. The "Flapper seat" and its hotiday problems. zzjzszz as?— a*- ¦« ^ «-¦ - - - '—¦'¦ 215 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1912 POLITICAL AND PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES THE WILD WEST: LATEST PHASE. Fancy portrait of a Taft-hunter reluctantly taking to the trail. 21(3 191 2 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend OUR LORD HALDANE IN GERMANY. ["I am credibly informed he went with a friend who by the cut of his beard was identified in Germany as being either the Prime Minister or myseU." — Sir Edward Grey in the House of Commons.} The Premier sits out. BB 217 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1912 "As Prince Arthur [inset] used to do.' (The Chancellor of the Exchequer.) Prince Arthur (complacently reflecting during Home Rule debate). a leader — one has to keep awake ! " "Poor old Bonar! That's the worst of being 218 I9I3-i5 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend HOGMANAY IN LONDON. At the New Year's Eve Supper, given by the Senior Liberal Whip by way of consolation to the Scottish Members, the Brothers Wason bring down the house. Asquith, Balfour, Lloyd George and Edward Grey, being over miUtary age, are, after severe scrutiny, aUowed to leave the country for a short trip to Paris. 219 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1916-18 ALL FOR IRELAND— A WAR-TIME HARMONY Mr. Bonar Law, Mr. Redmond, Sir Edward Carson. G ^ " A pas sea? among the eggs of Greece.' LORD ROBERT CECIL. FINANCIAL OPTIMISM. Mr. Micawber Asquith. A TRUE IRISHMAN. Mr. John Redmond- " I've finished — except, bedad, that we're with the British Empire — going to beat the Bosch ! ' 220 igi6 " Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend Has Lord Kitchener, in his passionate desire to encourage the Volunteers, ever thought of the untapped resources of the Tower of London ? ¦ <]/& /////' The Speaker (lapsing for the first time from Parliamentary etiquette at the sight of Sir George Reid ready to take his seat in the House). "Advance, AustraUa!" BB* 221 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1916-19 Colonel Churchill (arriving post-haste at the House of Commons from the Front, on April 18). " Come I too late for the Premier's statement ? " Constable. "On the contrary, Sir, you're a day too early." [The Constable was in error. He should have said a week.] 'BUY THE DARE-DEVILS OF COMMERCE. Encouraged by our recent success as racehorse owners we have now started a coal department. Deal direct with us (the owners) and avoid all "] middle profits. Yours obediently, Asquith, Law and Co., Unlimited. PERSUASIVE PURRING. Mr. Brace. Tim Healy nipping in with interjection. 222 1917 Punch " Drawings by F, H. Townsend THE RIPOSTE. Mr. McKenna. Sir Auckland Geddes. PENSIONS. Mr. Hodge UJl CONVENTION {[,. 'Xlr Mr Winston Churchill (with eye on the Air Board). "Any uniform suits me, thank you." w,. \^v<-ikCE.^c. ofnfji7 "::=^ Mr. Duke. "Here, I say " Mr. Redmond. " Sure an' I'm sorry, but the gintieman behind pushed me." 223 Punch " Drawings by F- H. Townsend 1917-18 FORWARD THE BHOYS OF THE OULD BRIGADE! Don Quixote O'Brien and Sancho Panza DevUn on the war-path. A GOOD BEDSIDE MANNER. Sir Auckland Geddes. Mr. Lloya George (pumping up his second-hand 1916 Westminster). "I hope the old 'bus is good for another six months." 224 1918-20 Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend BO-PEEP Lord Curzon A NEW FORCE IN POLITICS. The De Valera Girl. LADIES IN GOVERN MENT MOTOR-CARS. General Seely. "WeU, hardly ever." Duke of Venice (the Lord Chancellor), to Portia. " You are welcome : take your place."— Merchant of Venice, Act IV. Sc. 1. 22: Punch " Drawings by F. H. Townsend 1920 UNFINISHED DRAWING FOR "PUNCH." The figure of the little girl was sketched on the morning of F. H. Townsend's death. The legend which this picture was to iUustrate is not known. Printed by Cassell & Company, Limited, La Belle Sauvage, London, E.C.4. F.30.821.