THE

WA IDAIIJf W Q) 11931
TO SET BEFORE A KING;"

A Ballad of the Nineteenth Century,
EY THE AUTHOR OF « THE POLITICAL A, APPLE PIE.'*

a® itft Sixteen Ghttss*

G. Qruikshank Vel.

Be advised :
Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot
That it do singe yourself.

King Henry VllL

.dfmitt!) IBtittion.
LONDON-
PUBLISHED UY J. ROBINS AND . CO. IVY LANE, PATERNOSTER ROW.
1820.

How ! of adultery ? Wherefore write you not
What monster's her accuser ?  — —- —
O, master ! what a strange infection
Is fallen into thy ear ? What false Italian
(As poisonous tongu'd as handed) hath prevail'd
On thy too ready hearing ? — Disloyal ? No :
She's punish'd for her truth ; and undergoes,
More goddess-like than wife-like, such assaults
As would take in some virtue. Cymbeline.

I'll behang'd, if some eternal villain,
Some busy and insinuating rogue,
Some cogging cozening slave, to get some office,
Have not devis'd this slander.

Othello*

I.
Come, sing a song of sixpence, friends-
A " Green Bag" full of lies —
Procured by certain noble lords
From certain foreign spies,
All anxious in this " fatal bag,"
To put some nasty thing,
To make a precious dainty dish
To set before the King.

-Have you a precedent

Of this Commission ? I believe not any.
By the life of Pharaoh, ye are al! spies !

King Henry VIII.

Old Testament.

V.
So C — ke and his Attorney, both
Approv'd by Cas  h,
In this most hopeful mission were
Right soon upon their way.
And L  H he followed after them
Of spies a charming string,
All* hunting for a dainty dish
To set before the King.

0 diable ! diable ! vat is ill my closet ?—
Villany ! larrbn ! Merry Wives of Windsor.

VI.
And there was one great Omp  a,
A mighty German lord,
With whiskers hanging at his cheeks,
As long as his own sword ;
He hir'd a wretch to pick some locks,
And take out any thing
That might compose a dainty dish
To set before the King.

v_

z^

^

r^y<]^

-Ye have made a fine hand, fellows !

There's a trim rabble let in ! Are all these
Your faithful friends o' the suburbs ?

King Henry VIII.-

The trumpets sound — stand close,
 The QUEEN is coming. ib.

VII.

Two hundred ragg'i> Italians,
With dancing-dogs and mice,
Prepar'd for any dirty job,
And for all sorts of vice,

Thus, for a crust of bread and cheese,
Delightfully did sing
" Oh what a pleasant dainty dish
We'll set before the King !"
VIII.
And now throughout the German States,
Through Italy and France,
Still watching good Queen Caroline,
These dogs and men did dance.
Round stable boys and chambermaids
Their loving arms did fling,
Crying " Have you got a dainty dish
" To set before the King ?"
IX.
Sir John he carried the Green Bag
Till he was quite fatigu'd ;
And being much asham'd of those
With whom he then was leagu'd,
He left them to complete the job,
And all their charges bring,
To put into the dainty dish
To set before the King.
B

Here Vice assumes the serpent's shape ;
There Folly personates the ape ;
Here Av'rice gripes with harpy's clause
There Malice grins with tiger's claws,
While sons of Mischief, Wit, and Guile,
Are aliigalors of the Nile.

Cotton.

At length these great Commissioners
Return'd to England's shore,
And to the Lords of Parliament
Most lustily they swore,

11

That straighfagainst Queen Caroline
Such charges they would bring
As should compose a dainty dish
To set before the King. XL
The Queen, however, haying heard
What they were all about,
Resolv'd to face her enemies
And terra ithem inside out ;
Which gave these Lords of Parliament
Such a confounded sting,
They all cried out, " Oh ! what a dish
" To set before the King."
XII.
Then straight in council they did meet,
Not knowing what to do ;
For if the stories they had heard,
Should all turn out untrue,
They saw it would into a scrape
Themselves most surely bring,
Whilst cooking up a dainty dish
To set before the King, r

Away will) her, and waft her hence-

Hen. VI. Part III.
O gracious lady !
Since I Teceiv'd command to do this business,
I have not slept one wink. Cymbeline.
My lord, I dare not make myself so guilty,
To give up willingly that noble title
Your master wed me to : nothing but death
Shall e'er divorce my dignities. King Henry VIII.

XIII.
And so they sent a Messenger,
To meet the Queen half-way ;
And give her Fifty Thousand Pounds
If she abroad would stay;

IS

And never more be call'd a Queen,
Or any such a thing,
But leave them with their dainty dish
To set before the King.
XIV.
But scarcely had her Majesty
This vile proposal heard
Ere she with scorn rejected it;
And, swift as any bird, a
To meet her base accusers, she
Was soon upon the wing,
And quickly spoil'd the dainty dish
They set before the King.
XV.
By Mr. B — — ham, her counsellor,
And W — d, her faithful friend,
Encoiirag'd to be steady, and
' Endure unto the end ;
And conscious of her innocence
She fear'd not any thing,
Nor car'd she for the dainty dish
They set before the King.

Whether m he,r own famiky at Brunswick, or in any other
society in Europe she might prefer to live, of that she must
be the grace, life, and honour. Mr. Canning.
If, in the course
And process of this time, you can report,
And prove it too, against mine honour aught.
My bond to wedlock, or my love and duty.
Against your sacred person, in God's name.
Turn me away " ¦ King Henry VIII.
That it may please theeto bless and preserve our gracious
Queen Caroline 
Common Prayer Book in the reign of Geo. II.

XVI.
What though no royal yacht appear'd
To waft her to our shore,
A common packet was procured
To bring her safely o'er ;

15

And when she landed, all the air
With shouts was made to ring
" God bless the Queen !— the fittest dish
" To set before a King!"
XVII.
But, oh ! what consternation seiz'd
Her enemies all round,
When first they heard that she had set
Her foot on English ground !
For they did sorely fear that she
Would something with her bring
That should destroy the dainty dish
They set before the King.
XVIII.
They rav'd and storm'd, and curs'd and swore,
And went stark staring mad,
And all declar'd they never knew
A Queen that was so bad ;
Some said: she should go; back again,
And some that she should swing,
For having spoil'd the dainty dish
They set before the King.

A thousand shapes you wear with ease.
And still in every shape you please. Thomson.
Ay, marry !
There will be woe, indeed, lords !  King Henry VIII.
By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes. Macbeth.
Since tools without their hafts are useless lumber.
And hatchets without helves are of that number ;
That one may go in t'other, and may match it,
I'll be the helve, and thou shalt be the hatchet. Rabelais.

XIX.
But Wilb  ce, the pious man,
When he the Bag survey'd,
Which these great Lords of Parliament
Had on the table laid,

17

He sighing said, " I'll to the Queen,
" And try if I can bring
" Hei- Majesty to taste the dish
" You've set before the King.
XX." •
" For if," quoth he,/' God bless her soul,
¦" The Queen will but consent,
*-' To yield her lawful rights unto
" The Lords of Parliament,
" Why then we need not fear this Bag,
"Though such a filthy thing,
" But try another dainty dish
" To lay before the King."
XXI.
On hearing this, they all stood up,
And swore they lik'd the plan :—
"Good, holy, Mr. Wilb  ce,
" You are the very man
" To coax this bold Queen Caroline,
" To break her marriage ring,
" And then we'll have a dainty dish
" To set before the King." c

If your grace
Could but be brought to know, our ends are honest,
You'd feel n.ore comfort 
******* ft * * * * *
For goodness' sake, consider wjiat you do ! —
*********'****
I know, you have a gentle, noble temper :
 Pray, think us
Those we profess, peace makers, friends and servants.

King Henry VIII.

XXII.
And so he we,nt with other Lords,
And knelt before the Queen,
And kiss'd her hand most courteously,
The like was never seen ;

19

Crying " Please your Majesty, forbear
" To urge this lawful thing—
" We wish to have a dainty dish
" To set before the King."
XXIII.
The Queen, however, would not yield ;
And so they went away ;
And they did sigh most piteously,
As those in sore dismay *
And told the Lords of Parliament
How that they could not bring
Her Majesty to taste the dish
They set before the King.
XXIV.
O ! it was grievous to behold
These Bishops, Lords, and Dukes,
Some full of wrath and some of spite,
And all with sheepish looks ;
Yet boasting loud, that, after all,
They would not miss the thing,
But would prepare a dainty dish
To set before the King.

What dreadful dole is here ?
Eyes do you see !
How can it be I
O dainty duck ! 0 dear !
Thy mantle good ;
What, stain'd wiih blood !
Approach, you furies fell :
O fates! come, come :
Cut thread and thrum.
Quail, crush, conclude, and quell!

Midsummer Night's Dream.

XXV.

Now, fearing lest their courage should
In time begin to flag,
These lords resolv'd in secret guise
To open the Green Bag ;

21

And when the bag was open'd
They all began to sing
" O ! is not this a dainty dish
" To set before the King.
XXVI.
And they were much delighted,
To see what they had done ;
Though it were death unto their Queen,
To them 'twas glorious fun,
" For now," cried they " our monarch will
" Make all the welkin ring
" With shouts to see the dainty dish
" We've set before the King.
XXVII.
Yet, what a stench from this Green Bag,
This " horrid Bag" of lies —
Soon as the Lords had open'd it,
There forthwith did arise !
Oh ! it was ^ rank— it smelt to Heaven"
And all these Lords could bring
Against the Queen but made a dish
To set before the King.

Pure want of sense unites these " Blocks,"
As petty tradesmen join their stocks. Rabelais.
Yon cram these words- into mine ear against
The stomach of my sense. The Tempest.
—  Heaven will one day open
King Henry VIII.

The King's eyes.

XXVIII.
For they had so misguided him,
And led him so astray,
That though his heart was very good
His head was the wrong way ;

23
And he was heard, continually,
Both day and night to sing
" O ! where's the dainty dish, my Lords,
" You promis'd to your King?"
XXIX.
Meanwhile the Royal Wanderer
Through all the town was seen,
The People all exclaiming loud
"God save our gracious Queen,
"God save; the good Queen Caroline,
" And may she quickly bring
" Full proof of her own innocence
" To lay before the King."

'Tis the right ring, by Heaven : — I told ye all,
When we first put this dangerous stone.a.rolling,
'Twould fall upon ourselves. King Hen. VIII.

THE END.

J. Robins and Co. Albion Press, Ivy Lane.

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