YALE UNIVERSITY LIBRARY AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MADAME GUYON AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MADAME GUYON TRANSLATED IN FULL THOMAS TAYLOR ALLEN BENGAL CIVIL SERVICE (RETIRED) IN TWO VOLUMES VOL. II. LONDON KEGAN PAUL, TEENOH, TEUBNER & CO., Lt° PATEBNOSTEB HOUSE, OHABING CB08S BOAD 1898 Mmg74 i't* (The riglils of tramlation and of reproduction are reierved.) CONTENTS OF VOL. II. PART IL— Continued. CHAPTER XI. Withdrawal of Father La Oombe from the way of illuminatioa into that of blind faith — Instances of God's providence in her affairs — Furtlier persecution — Retreat, where she learna the nature of spiritual maternity— During this retreat strongly moved to write —Manner of writing— Has to suffer for La Combe's purification, whenever he resists God's operation — Thereby more powerful possession of her soul taken by God— Obliged to tell Father La Combe all her thoughts — Can pardon no defects in him CHAPTER XII. Enters upon a state of ohUdhood to express Jesus Christ the Child — Dependence upon Father La Combe— State of the maid brought by her sister— To command and to obey through the Word — This maid attacked by demons — Miracles by the Word Himself — Tempta tion of a nun, and scornful treatment she met from a sister nun — Extreme illness covering the mystery of the Childhood . . 10 CHAPTER XIII. Troubles from her sister and others unable to understand her state — Foresees persecution — The Child Jesus unites her to Father La Combe — Childlike interiorly and exteriorly — Illness of La Combe, and miraculous recovery for the Lent sermon — Communication in silence — The language of angels — Communication of the Trinity — Hierarchical order in heaven, and on earth — Spiritual fecundity — Communication of Jesus Christ to the disciples .... 20 vi CONTENTS. CHAPTER XIV. rAOK Foreshown her state of rejection and isolation, similar to that of Jesus Christ— The woman of the Apocalypse — When recovering from this protracted illness, one morning struck by Satan — Effects— Death, just victorious, driven back at Father La Combe's command — Foundation of hospital — ^Bishop of Verceil appoints Father La Combe to be his theologian — ^Visits Lausanne . . .30 CHAPTER XV. Leaves the convent, and takes up her abode iu a small cottage — Marquise de Prunai procures lettre de cachet ordering La Combe to bring her to Turin— Remains there with Marquise— Her de pendence on Father La Combe— Bishop of Verceil invites her to his diocese- Father La Combe distrustful of her grace- The widow penitent accepted by him as a saint — Madame Guyou's letter he interprets ill, and compels her to confess to pride — Terrible effect on her— He is enlightened 38 CHAPTER XVI. Purification of her maid effected, with much suffering for Madame Guyon — Nature of this shown in mysterious dream beforehand — The maid becomes strangely awkward and incapable — Bishop of Geneva's double-dealing — A mysterious dream, foreshowing how she is called to help her neighbour — Interior state firm, immovable, admits of no description — Utterly lost in God . . 49 CHAPTER XVII. Conversion of a hostile monk — His subsequent history — Another monk, bitterly opposed to Father La Oombe, and extremely violent, given to her — The beautiful birds of the mysterious dream — Suddenly told by Father La Combe to return to Paris — In obedience to his Provincial he accompanies her over the mountains to Grenoble, — where she finds herself invested with the Apostolic state — Dis cernment of spirits — Foreshown persecution — The necessary attendant on this state 66 CHAPTER XVIII. gome souls were given merely as plants for her to cultivate, others as spiritual children — Her suffering for these — The maternity of Jesus Christ — A certain order of monks most hostile to the way of prayer — Porseoutions by these — A begging friar of this order visits Madame Guyon in her illness, and becomes a true spiritual CONTENTS. vii I'AQK child — Her relations to such children — Nourished through her from the plenitude with which Jesus Christ fills her to overflowing . 65 CHAPTER XIX. Account of a girl particularly so given to her, and Satan's temptation — Unfaithfulness of this girl — Rejection of the sinner by God, its nature ; continues only so long as the will of the sinner is in rebellion — Two things in us need purification : the cause of sin, and the effects — The cause of that girl's rejection from Madame Guyon's spirit — Before her arrival at Grenoble her friend shown in dream how she should have many children from our Lord . 711 CHAPTER XX. The begging friar advances in grace — And with many others receives from her plenitude in silence — Brings to her his Superior and others — Among them the Senior Novice — -Many others of all classes are given her as children — Is sent for by the Superior of a neighbouring convent, and helps a nun in great distress . . 82 CHAPTER XXI. Her mode of writing on Holy Scripture — God's training — Victims of God's Justice, and souls of Mercy — Commencements of antagonism to her — Extraordinary rapidity with which she wrote — A soul Jrom Purgatory cures her arm, which was swollen and inflamed from writing— The " Short Method of Prayer " is printed by a coun sellor of the parliament — Fifteen hundred copies taken by the monks of the order previously hostile — The bogging friar suffers from inflamed feet, but is cured instantly at Madame Guyon's word — Devil threatens persecution ... .90 CHAPTER XXII. girl sees in vision the coming persecution — Friends advise depar ture to Marseilles — ^Her state of plenitude while at Grenoble — Her relation to David — Communication of the Word through her by speech, and in silence — Communication of Jesus Christ to St. John at the Last Supper — Suffering caused by Father La Combe's variations ; which oxir Lord made her see would cease when he was established in a permanent state of union with God — ^Perfect union imperceptible when consummated in unity — Her complete self-annihilation. . . 98 viii CONTENTS. CHAPTER XXIII. I'AtlK Journey from Grenoble to Marseilles— Dangers on the river Rhone — Opposition immediately on arrival at Marseilles — But the Bishop receives her kindly— Case of Ecclesiastic who followed her home from the Mass — At Grenoble libels circulated against her — Unable to remain at Marseilles, sets out by Nice to join Marquise de Prunai— Sails from Nice for Savona; but is delayed by bad weather and landed at Genoa— Thence by land— 111 used by her muleteer— Meets robbers in a wood — Strange reception at Alexandria, by the innkeeper . . .... 107 CHAPTER XXIV. Arrives at Verceil unexpected, and much to Father La Combe's disgust — The Bishop receives her with respect, and great kindness — Desires to retain her in his diocese — Father La Mothe's intrigue to bring La Combe to Paris : but Bishop will not part with him — Continued illness of Madame Guyon while at Verceil — Is com pelled to leave, the doctors declaring the climate fatal to her . . 120 CHAPTER XXV. Departure from Verceil, honourably escorted to Turin — Visits Marquise de Prunai — Hospital previously founded at Grenoble — Great crosses foreshown to be awaiting her at Paris — At Chamb^ry Father La Motho meets them, and behaves with dissimulation — She readies Grenoble, where lier health is restored, and the simple girl, illtreated by the Devil, foretells crosses. .... 129 PART III. CHAPTER I. Arrival at Paris — Father I^a Mothe stirs up persecution through motives of self-interest — Union in unity with Jesua Clirist and Father La Combe — State of childhood passes into state of bearing Christ crucified — Discernment of truth — False saint and her husband, a skilful forger employed by Father La Mothe — Details of their forgeries and calumnies — True character of this woman 135 CONTENTS. ix CHAPTER II. AGE Father La Combe enlightened— Calumny against Madame Guyon— Reported complaints against Father La Oombe made to the Archbishop, with a view to cause him to leave Paris- On failing in which La Mothe tries intimidation of Madame Guyon— His perfidious conduct, defeated by the loyalty of her children's guardian, who visits the Archbishop and unmasks the falsity of Father La Mothe . . .... . 147 CHAPTER III. Treachery by which Father La Oombe is made to appear disobedient to the King's order, and consequently arrested— His certificate of approbation from the Sacred Congregation at Rome suppressed — Endeavours of Father La Mothe to make Madame Guyon fly — Calumnies originated by Father La Mothe— Previous history of his tool, the false saint — Failing in these machinations, the con spirators persuade tlio King she is heretic and published a dangerous book — On which a lettre de cachet for her confinement in a convent was obtained . ... .155 CHAPTER IV. The execution delayed by her illness — Trick by which Father La Mothe carries off her copy of Father La Combe's Roman vindica tion — Accusations set going against her — Service of the lettre lie caiihet , . . . , . . . 166 CHAPTER V. Confinement in the Convent of the Visitation — Disowned by her con fessor and ill used by her jailer — Unfaithfulness in trying to watch herself and be on her guard — Interrogations by the Official and a Doctor of the Sorbonne — A forged letter brought forward against her — Sees that the intention is simply to make her appear guilty- All her writings on Scripture demanded from her . . . 171 CHAPTER VI. Her contentment and joy — On St. Joseph's day elevated to the state of heaven — From which she knew increased suffering was at hand — Jesus Christ's state between his transfiguration and death— Her heavenly state lasts until the Annunciation, when she is made to drink to the dregs the indignation of God — But at Easter her tranquil state returns with a more perfect self-annihilation — Her CONTENTS. PAGE attitude towards her persecutors — A marriage of her daughter proposed as a condition for her release — Father La Mothe's fresh machinations . . ... . 182 CHAPTER VII. All the intrigues of her persecutors mysteriously shown to her — Father La Mothe invents new calumnies — She is more closely imprisoned despite the testimony of the Prioress — Increased severity towards Father La Combe, whose jailers were impressed by his piety — Madame de Maintenon induced to speak for her — Severe illness —Martyrs of the Holy Spirit— Tlie reign of Christ through hia Spirit . . . . ... 191 CHAPTER VIII. Endeavours to force a retractation from her — Further perfidy of Father La Mothe and the Archbishop — Communication in God with Father La Combe, although in such distant prisons — Her firm conviction as to God's design regardingher writings— Discernment of spirits — Detailed account of the means used by God for her release through Madame de Maintenon . . . 200 CHAPTER IX. To screen themselves her persecutors insist on her signing certain ambiguously worded papers, which she refuses — Pressure put upon the nuns of that convent, who manifested esteem and affection for her- By Madame de Maintenon 's advice she signs certain papers — Her release exactly when her persecutors had arranged for her transfer to a distant prison — Her indifference to freedom — Visits Madame de Maintenon, and takes up her residence with Madame de Miramion — First meeting with Abbe' de P [Fe'nelon] . 209 CHAPTER X. Inability to write further as to her interior state — The happiness of the Blessed in heaven, which for some years she had enjoyed after the annihilation of the self-centre, she consented to give up on being called to the Apostolic state, wherein it is necessary to suffer for others and support their weakness — Her call to the propagation of the Holy Spirit— Nature of her sufferings in that state; which were twofold, viz. (1) caused by unfaithfulness in the souls united to her; (2) a means of their purification and advancement — Apostolic souls are a paradox to others— Satan's dread of such souls — The Lord's saints, sanctified by a perfect suppleness to His will ; moved only by divine charily . 220 CONTENTS. XI CHAPTER XI. TAOK Her residence with Madame de Miramion opposed by her persecutors- And false accusations made by Father La Mothe — Her protracted illness — Marriage of her daughter, with whom she takes up residence for two and a half years —Then arranges for an absolute retirement in a Benedictine convent — Which is frustrated through the indiscretion of the Prioress and her Bishop — She recognizes therein God's design to call her to fresh trials — Relations with Fenflon — Visits to St. Cyr — Visits to M. Nicole at request of a common acquaintance ; by whom she is induced to meet M. Boileau for discussion on the " Short Method of Prayer " — Illness and visit to the waters of Bourbon . . 232 CHAPTER XII. Retires into the strictest seclusion — Which, however, does not secure her against intrigue and calumny — M. Fouquet's valet and the girl who gave herself to the Devil to win his love — M. Fouquet brings this girl to Madame Guyon ; subsequent history — M. Boileau, influenced by a pretended saint, becomes hostile to Madame Guyon — A general outcry against her is raised by his partisans and other ecclesiastics — Bishop of Chartres influences Madame de Maintenon to abandon her ... 242 CHAPTER XIII. Her acquaintance with the Bishop of Meaux [Bossuet] — He expressed approval of some of her writings as well as of the history of her life, which had been placed in his bands — The dying nun at the Abbey of Olairets — All her writings placed in the Bishop's hands for examination — Conference in 1694, when he showed a marked change — His violence of manner — His objections and her answer . 252 CHAPTER XIV. Madame Guyon's habit of speaking without reflection in simplicity — The Bishop calls upon her to justify her writings, which she has no desire to do — The woman of the Apocalypse — Outflow of grace from her — Bishop of Meaux's difficulties arose from his unacquaintance with mystical writers — The Apostolic state— Cir cumstances under which she wrote her life — Her authority over souls — Distinct acts and speciflc requests — Spiritual incapacities as well as bodily . . 262 xii CONTENTS. CHAPTER XV. PAGE Bishop of Meaux offers to give her a certificate of orthodoxy, which she declines — Letter to Madame de Maintenon asking for an inquiry into her morals — Madame de Maintenon refuses, declaring herself satisfied on this head, but suggests that her doctrines must be examined — Particulars of M. Fouquet's death^Resigning her self to God's will, she bids a final fareweU to her friends, secluding herself henceforth from all society .... . . 272 CHAPTER XVI. Perceives that others are aimed at in the attack made on her — Hud previously warned the Abbe de P Madame de Maintenon determines on causing an examination of Madame Guyon's writings — But the Archbishop of Paris anticipates this examination, and censures her books — Bishops of Meaux and Chalons and M. Tron- son appointed to make the examination — She writes a letter to them, and prepares her Justifications, being extracts from approved mystical writers : which the Bishop of Meaux neither reads him self nor allows the others to see . . . . 281 CHAPTER XVII. Hostile attitude of the Bishop of Meaux — His objections : the sacrifice of eternity, trials, etc. — He confirms himself in his attitude — An insurmountable obstacle to the light of truth — Explanation on sub ject of specific requests — Bishop of Meaux excludes the Duke of C , her friend, from the Conference, and behaves in an over bearing manner — The two others in private express their approval of her ... . 292 CHAPTER XVIII. Retires to a convent at Meaux — Her journey made with great danger through heavy snow ; which at first met with approval from the Bishop, but subsequently was treated as artifice and hypocrisy Calumnies and forged letters produced and circulated against her — Father de Richebrac's letter to her — Cardinal Camus's letter Other devices employed to discredit her — The Incarnate Word Testimony of the nuns and their Superior— Also of the Bishop of Meaux ... 306 CHAPTER XIX. Procedure of the Bishop iu forcing her to sign cortiiiu papers drawn up by liim- After six months in that cdiivtiil the Bishop gives her a CONTENTS. PAGE certificate — Departure from the conveut— Subsequently, owing to the dissatisfaction of Madame de Maintenon, Bishop desires to withdraw that certificate, and to substitute one differing in purport 316 CHAPTER XX. Her reasons for preserving silence as to the sufferings and persecutions experienced during ten years' imprisonment— Her interior state during that period .... .... 325 CHAPTEK XXI. After release from prison overwhelmed by illness and bodily infirmity — Her interior state — Farewell address to her children in grace — The ALL of God, the NOTHING of the creature . . 331 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP MADAME GUYON. PART lI.—Co7itinued. CHAPTER XI. After Father La Combe had returned from Eome much praised for his doctrine, he performed the duties of preach ing and confessing as usual, and as I had for myself a permission from the Bishop of Geneva to confess to him, I made use of him. He at once told me I should return, as I have said. I asked him the reason. It is, he said, because I believe God will do nothing by you here, and my lights are deceptive. What made him speak thus was that while at Loretto, at devotion in the chapel of the Holy Virgin, he was suddenly withdrawn from the way of illumination and put into the way of simple faith. Now, as this state causes a failure of all distinct light, the soul which finds herself plunged in it finds herself in a trouble so much the greater as her state had been more full of lights. It is this which makes her think all the lights on which she previously supported herself to be nothing but deceptions. This is true in one sense, and not in another, since the lights are always good and true lights when they come from God ; but it is that in resting on them we VOL. 11. B 2 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. understand them or interpret them ill : and it is in this lies the deception, for they have a signification known to God, but we give them a different sense ; then the self-love, disgusted that things do not happen according to its lights, accuses them of falsity. They are, nevertheless, very true in their sense. For example, a nun had told Father La Combe that God had caused her to know that the Father would one day be confessor of his Sovereign. In one sense this might be taken to mean that he would be confessor or director of the Princess, and it was in this sense it was understood ; but I was given to know that it meant the persecution, where he has had occasion to confess his faith, and to suffer for the will of God, which is his Sovereign. And thus with a thousand other things. Have I not also been daughter of the Cross of Geneva — which had been predicted to me — since the journey to Geneva has drawn upon me so many crosses ? and mother of a great people, as will be seen in the sequel, by the souls which God has given me, and which he still gives me every day in the midst of my captivity ? I gave an account to Father La Combe of wlaat I had done and suffered in his absence, and I told him the care that you, 0 my God, took of my affairs. I saw your providence even in the smallest matters, unceasingly spread itself over me. After having been many months without any news of my papers, and when people even pressed me to write, blaming me for my indifference, an invisible hand held me back, and my peace and confidence were so great that I could not interfere in anything. Some time after I received a letter from our domestic ecclesiastic, telling me he was ordered to come and see me, and bring my papers. I had sent to me from Paris a considerable package for my daughter. It was lost on the lake, and I could get no news of it, but I gave myself no trouble. I believed still it would be found. The man who had put it on board had for a month made search in all Chap. XL] 'AUTOBIOaRAPHY. 3 the neighbourhood, without being able to learn any news of it. At the end of three months a person had it brought to us. It was found in the house of a poor man. He had not opened it, and did not know who had brought it there. Once when I had sent for all the money which had to supply my wants for an entire year, the person who had been to cash the letter of exchange, having placed the money in two bags on a horse, forgot that it was there, and gave his horse to a boy to lead. He let the money fall from the horse in the middle of the market-place of Geneva. I arrived at that moment, coming from the other side, and having got out of my litter, the first thing I found was my money, over which I walked; and what is surprising is that, though there was a great crowd on that spot, no one had seen it. Many similar things have happened to me, which I do not mention, to avoid tediousness, contenting myself with these examples to show the protection of God. The Bishop of Geneva continued to persecute me, and when he wrote to me it was always with expressions of politeness and thanks for the charities I bestowed at Gex ; on the other hand, he said I gave nothing to that House. He even wrote against me to the Ursulines, where I was staying, commanding them to prevent my having conference with Father La Combe, " for fear of disastrous results." The Superior of the House, a man of merit, and the Prioress, as well as the Community, were so indignant that they could not avoid declaring it to himself. He excused himself by an outward professed respect, and a " I did not intend it in that sense." They wrote him that I saw the Father only at the confessional, not in conference, that they were so edified by me that they were very happy to have me, and that they considered it a great favour from God. What they said out of pure love was displeasing to the Bishop, who, seeing I was loved in this House, said that I gained over every one, and he wished I was out of the diocese. Although I knew all this, and that these good 4 MADAME GUYON. [Pabt H. Sisters were much pained at it, I could feel none, owing to the fixedness of my soul, your will, my God, rendering everything alike to me. I find you as well in one thing as in another, and since your will is yourself, everything in this will is to me you, 0 my Love ; so that all the pains which creatures can cause, however unreasonable and even passionate they may appear, are not regarded in themselves, but in God— not that the soul has this actual view, but it is so : and the habitual faith makes everything be seen in God without distinction. So when I see poor souls give themselves so much trouble for idle talk, being always on the watch beforehand, or clearing up matters, I pity them for their lack of enlightenment ; and the more of grace souls have, the more strange that appears to me. Nevertheless, one has reasons which self-love makes appear very sound. To relieve me a little from the fatigue which continual conversations caused me (I say fatigue, for the body was quite languishing from the, strength of God's operation), I asked Father La Combe on his arrival to allow me a retreat, and to say that he wished me to make one. He told them so, but they could hardly leave me in repose. It was then that I allowed myself the whole day to be devoured by love, which had no other operation but to consume me little by little. It was then also that I felt the quality of " spiritual Mother," for God gave me a some thing for the perfection of souls, which I could not conceal from Father La Combe. It seemed to me that I saw into the depth of his soul, and the minutest recesses of his heart. Our Lord made me see that he was his servant, chosen among a thousand to honour him in a special degree, and that there was not a man upon the earth at that time on whom he looked with such complaisance as on him ; but that he wished to conduct him by total death and entire annihilation, that he wished me to help in it, and he would make use of me to cause him to travel the Chap. XI.] AUTOBIOGEAPHY. 5 road, by which he had first made me pass, only that I might be able to conduct others by it, and to tell them the routes by which I had passed ; that at present my soul was far more advanced than his, that God wished to render us one and conformable, but that one day he would pass her by a bold and impetuous flight. God knows what joy I had at it, and with what pleasure I would see my children surpass their mother in glory, and that I would willingly give myself over in any way that it might be so. In this retreat there came to me such a strong move ment to write that I could not resist it. The violence I exercised over myself not to do it made me ill, and took away my speech. I was very much surprised to find myself thus, for this had never happened to me. It was not that I had anything particular to write. I had absolutely nothing, not even an idea of any kind. It was a simple instinct with a fulness I could not support. I was like one of those mothers who have too much milk, and suffer greatly. After much resistance I told Father La Oombe the disposition in which I found myself; he answered that on his side he had had a strong movement to command me to write, but owing to my weak state he had not ven tured to prescribe it for me. I told him the weakness was only due to my resistance, and I thought it would pass away as soon as I wrote. He asked me, " But what do you wish to write?" "I know nothing about it," I replied. " I wish nothing, I have no idea, and I think I should com mit a great infidelity in giving myself one, or thinking for a moment on what I might be able to write." He ordered me to do it. On taking up the pen I did not know the first word of what I was about to write. I set myself to write without knowing how, and I found it came to me with a strange impetuosity. What surprised me most was that it flowed from my central depth, and did not pass through my head. I was not yet accustomed to this manner of writing, yet wrote an entire treatise on the C MADAME GUYON. [Part II. whole interior way under a comparison with streams and rivers. Although it was tolerably long, and the comparison was kept up to the end, I have never formed a thought, nor even taken any care where I left off, and, in spite of continual interruptions, I have never read over anything, except at the end, where I read over a line or two owing to a word having been left out ; even then I thought I had com mitted an infidelity. Before writing I did not know what I was going to write. When it was written I thought no more of it. I should have committed an infidelity in retaining any thought to put it down, and our Lord gave me grace that this did not happen. As I wrote I found myself relieved, and I became better. As the way by which God was leading Father La Combe was very different from that by which he had hitherto walked, which had been all light, ardour, knowledge, certir tude, assurance, feelings, and that now he made him go by the narrow path of faith and of nakedness, he had very great trouble in adapting himself to it ; which caused me no small suffering, for God made me feel and pay with extreme rigour all his resistance. Who could express what he has cost my heart before he was formed according to yours and according to your will ? Only you, 0 my God, who have done it, know. The more precious that soul is in your eyes, the more dearly have you made me pay. I can indeed say that it is upon me the robe of the new life you have given him has been remade. I was subjected to a double pain ; the one was that the possession which God had of my soul became every day more strong, so that sometimes I passed the day without it being possible for me to pronounce a word : for God then wished to bury me more deeply into himself, and to annihilate me more in him, in order to make me pass into him by a complete transformation. Although my state was without sensi bility, it was so profound, and God became more and niore so powerfully the master, that he did not leave me a Chap. XI.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY, 7 movement of my own. This state did not prevent me from condescending to my sister and the other nuns ; however, the useless things in which they were occupied could hardly suit my taste, and this was the reason which led me to ask for keeping a retreat, that I might let myself be possessed to the good pleasure of him who held me closely clasped in an inexpressible manner. At this time he purified a remnant of nature, very subtle and delicate, so that my soul found herself in extreme purity. It was then the partitions of which I have spoken were consumed. I have seen nothing of the kind since, for the intimate union of lover and loved took place, so that both were made one and identical. It was then it was given me to write in a purely divine manner. All I had written formerly was tested, was condemned to the fire by Love, the examiner, who found defects in all that appeared the most perfect. I resisted, as I have said, but God became so powerfully the master that he harassed me to death when I resisted in the least thing. 0 God, how I then experienced those words, " Who can resist God and live in peace ? " I was not yet experienced in the way he makes himself obeyed by a soul which he perfectly possesses. Owing to this I did not surrender at first, but finally I followed the movement of the Spirit in what he caused me to do, and although I did not take thought to arrange the matter, nor even as to what I was writing, it was found as connected and as correct as if I had taken all imaginable care to put it in order. You desired, 0 my God, in order to accustom me to the suppleness of your Spirit, to exact of me for a time things wliich cost me much and caused me serious crosses. Our Lord bound me more closely with Father La Combe, but by a union as pure as it was spiritual. He willed that I should tell him the minutest of my thoughts, or write them to him; for as he was often absent either on missions. 8 MADAME GUYON. [Pabt II. which he was continually engaged in, or for the business of the House, he was not often at Tonon. This cost me much, for it was a thing I had never done when formerly I might have conveniently done it, while I was still in myself, and when I could speak to directors ; but now it appeared to me mere loss of time. I imagined even for lack of experience that it could not be done without reflection, and as reflection was entirely opposed to my state, it would be very injurious to me. I said with the Bride, " I have washed my feet ; how shall I soil them ? I have put off my robe; how shall I put it on again?" My mind, which is naked, shall it again be filled ? After having been subjected to God alone, must I be so to the creature ? For I did not then understand the design of God therein. If I had been mistress of myself, I would have gladly escaped, but I could not ; for besides that our Lord chastised me very rigorously when I resisted him in the least, my mind remained always occupied by the thought until I had obeyed, and, far from having its former clearness, it defiled itself by these particulars ; and although they were good things, or at least indifferent, that pure and clear void was thereby spoiled. If you stir up water with a rod of gold or of wood, it is none the less disturbed ; but as soon as I had mentioned the thought my mind resumed its former peace, its clearness and its emptiness. I was surprised to see that the need of writing to him increased each day in the design and order of God : but what reassured me was, that I was so disengaged from any feeling or attachment in respect of him, that I was astonished. The more powerful the union became, the more we were united to God, and removed from human sentiments. I was still more led to pardon nothing in him, and to desire his self-annihilation, that God alone might reign. With much fidelity I told him all that God gave me to know he desired of him, and this I would gladly have evaded. The obligation God imposed on me to tell him Chap. XL] AUTOBIOGEAPHY. 9 the radical defects of the Sister who had charge of my daughter (as he was prejudiced in her favour, owing to the illumination she had told him she had) irritated him against me several days. When I told him anything, this produced in him disgust for me and alienation. Our Lord made me painfully feel it, although he said nothing to me. I experienced that our Lord obliged me to keep hold on him, and made me pay by suffering for his infidelity. On the other hand, if I wished to say nothing to him, and to keep back views which only served to offend him, our Lord harassed me to death, and gave me no rest until I had declared to him both my pain and my thought ; so that I suffered thereby a martyrdom exceeding anything that can be told, and which has been very protracted. 10 MADAME GUYON. IPakv U. CHAPTER XII. Our Lord, willing that I should bear him in all his states, from the first to the last, as I shall tell, and willing to make me perfectly simple, gave me in regard to Father La Combe such a miraculous obedience that, in what ever extremity of illness I might be, I grew well when, either by word of mouth or by letter, he ordered it. I believe our Lord did it to make me express Jesus Christ the Child, and also to be a sign and evidence to this good Father, who, having been conducted by evidences, could not leave that way ; and in whatever was told him, or which God made him experience, he still kept seeking evidences. It is where he had the greatest trouble to die, and that by which he has made me suffer so much. Our Lord, to make him enter more easily into that which he desired of him and of me, gave him the greatest of all evidences in this miraculous obedience : and to show that it did not depend on me, and that God gave it for him, when he was sufficiently strong to do without any evidence, and God wished to make him enter upon self-annihilation, this obedience was taken away from me, so that, without paying any attention to it, I was unable longer to obey : and this was done to annihilate him the more, and to take from him the support of this evidence ; for then all my efforts were useless : I had inwardly to follow him who was my master, and who gave me this repugnance to obeying. Chap. XII.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 11 which lasted only so long as was necessary to destroy the support he would have found— and perhaps I also — in obedience. I had then so strong an instinct for his perfection and to see him die to himself, that I would have wished him all the ills imaginable, far from pitying him. When he was not faithful, or took things so as to nourish the self-life, I felt myself devoured ; and this surprised me not a little after the indifference I had hitherto maintained. I complained of it to our Lord, who with extreme kindness reassured me, and also as to the extreme dependence he gave me, which became such that I was like a child. My sister had brought me a maid, whom God wished to give me to fashion in his manner, not without crucifying me — a thing that I expect will never be ; for when our Lord gives me persons, he always gives them at the same time the means of making me suffer, whether to direct those persons themselves to the interior way, or in order that I should never be without a cross. She was a girl to whom our Lord had given singular grace, and who was so highly reputed in her country that she passed for a saint. Our Lord brought her to me to make her see the difference of sanctity conceived and comprised in gifts — with which she was then endowed — and sanctity which is acquired by our entire destruction, by the loss of those very gifts, and of that which we are. This girl fell seriously ill. Our Lord gave her the same dependence on me as I had on Father La Combe — with some distinc tion, however. I helped her to the best of my ability, but I found that I had hardly anything to say to her, except to command her ailment and her disposition ; and whatever I said was done. Then I learned what it is to command by the Word, and to obey by the same Word. I found in me Jesus Christ commanding and likewise obeying. Our Lord gave power to the Devil to torment this poor girl, as in Job's case. The Devil, as if he was not strong enough 12 MADAME GUYON. [Pabt II. alone, brought with him five, who reduced her to such a state with her disease, that she was at death's door. These wretches fled when I approached her bed, and I had hardly gone out when they returned with greater fury, and they said to her : " It is to have compensation for the ill she has done us " — speaking of me. As I saw she was too much crushed, and her weak body could no longer endure the torment they caused her, I forbade their approaching her for a time : they left at once. But the next day at waking I had a strong impulse to allow them to visit her; they returned with so much fury that they reduced her to extremity. After having thus given some relaxation at different intervals, and allowed them to return, I had a strong movement to forbid them to attack her any more. I forbade them : they returned no more. Nevertheless she still continues ill, until one day she had received our Lord in such weak ness that she could scarcely swallow the sacred Host. After dinner I had a strong impulse to say to her, " Get up, and be no longer ill." The nuns were very much astonished, and as they knew nothing of what was going on, and they saw her on foot after having been in the morning at extremity, they attributed her illness to the vapours. As soon as the devils were withdrawn from this girl, I felt as if by an impression the rage they were in against me. I was in my bed, and I said to them, " Come and torment me if your Master allows it ; " but, so far from doing this, they fled from me. I understood at once that the devils fear worse than hell a soul that has been annihilated, and that it is not the souls who are conducted by faith they attack, for the reason I have already given. I felt in myself such an authority over the devils that, far from fearing them, it seemed to me I would make them fly from hell if I was there. It should be known that the soul of whom I speak, in whom Jesus Christ lives and acts, does not perform miracles as those who perform them by Chap. XII.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 13 a power in them of performing miracles. They are per formed by the annihilation of the soul, for as she is no longer anything, nothing of all this can be attributed to her ; therefore when the movement urges, she does not say, "Be healed in the name of Jesus Christ," for this "Be healed in the name of Jesus Christ" is a power in the person of performing miracles in the name of Jesus Christ. Here it is not the same ; it is Jesus Christ who performs the miracle, and who says through that person, "Be healed," and the man is healed; "Let the devils depart," and they depart. When one says this, one knows not why one says it, nor what causes one to say it ; but it is the Word who speaks and operates what he says. " He spoke, and they were made." One does not utter prayers beforehand, for these miracles are performed without any previous design, and without the soul looking upon it as a miracle. One says quite naturally what is given one to say. Jesus Christ willed to pray at the resurrection of Lazarus, but he said that he did it only for the sake of those who were present, for he says to his Father, " I know that you hear me always, but I say it that these may believe you have sent me." Other servants of God, honoured with the gift of miracles, pray, and thereby obtain what they desire; but here it is the Word who uses his authority, and who acts by the speech of the person in whom he lives and reigns. Hereupon I must remark two things : one, that the souls of whom I speak do not ordinarily perform miracles by giving anything, or by simply touching ; but it is by the word, although they sometimes accompany it with touching. It is the all-powerful Word. The other thing is that these miracles require the consent, or at least that there should be no opposition, in the person on whom they are performed. Our Lord Jesus Christ asked the good people he healed, " Do you wish to be healed ? " Was there a doubt in the matter, that people who came to him 14 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. for it, or who desired nothing else, wished it ? Here is the secret of the operation of the Word, and of the liberty of man. On the dead, or on inanimate substances, it is not the same. He said, and his saying is doing ; but here the consent of the soul is required. I have many times experienced it, and I felt in myself how God not only respects the liberty of man, but even how he wishes a free consent ; for when I said " Be healed," or for interior pains "Be delivered from your pains," if they acquiesced with out any answer, they were healed, and the word was efficacious ; if they resisted under good pretexts, as saying, "I shall be healed when it will please God," "I do not wish to be healed but when he wills," or in despair, " I shall never escape from my pain," then the word had no effect, and I felt it in myself. I felt that the virtue retired into me, and I experienced what our Lord said, when the diseased woman touched him, and he asked, " Who touched me ? " The apostles answered, " The crowd surrounds you, and you ask who has touched you." " It is," answered our Lord, " that a divine virtue has gone out from me." In the same way Jesus Christ in me, or rather through me, made this divine virtue to flow out by means of his word ; but when this virtue was not received in the subject, owing to want of correspondence, I felt it suspended in its source, and this caused me a kind of pain. I would be in a way vexed with those persons ; but when there was no resistance, and a full acquiescence, the divine virtue had its full effect. One cannot conceive the delicacy of this divine virtue ; although it is so power ful on inanimate objects, on man the least thing either arrests it altogether or restrains it. There was a worthy nun afflicted with a violent temptation. She went and told a Sister, whom she believed very spiritual and in a state to help her : but, far from finding help, she was violently repulsed. The other despised her, and even harshly treating her because she Chap. XIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 15 had temptations, said to her, "Do not come near me, I pray, since you are of that kind." This poor girl came to see me in terrible distress, believing herself lost, owing to what the Sister had said to her. I consoled her, and our Lord relieved her at once ; but I could not refrain from saying that assuredly the other would be punished, and that she would fall into a worse state. The one who had so used her came to see me, very well satisfied with herself ; and she told me what she had answered, adding that she had a horror of ]persons who are tempted, that for herself she was safe from all this, and that she never had had a bad thought. I said to her, " My Sister, for the friendship I have for you, I wish you the trouble of her who has spoken to you, and even a more violent one." She answered me proudly enough, " If you ask it of God for me and I ask the contrary, I think I shall be as soon heard as you." I answered her firmly, " If it is my own interest I regard, I shall not be heard ; but if it is the interest of God only and yours, he will do it sooner than you fancy." I said this without reflection. The same night — it was evening when we were speaking — she entered into such a violent and furious temptation, the like of which was hardly ever seen ; it continued with the same strength for a fortnight. It was then she had full opportunity to recognize her weakness, and what we should be without grace. At first she conceived an excessive hatred for me, saying I was the cause of her trouble; but as it served, like the mud which enlightened the man born blind, she saw very well what had brought on her such a terrible state. I fell exceeding ill. This illness was a means to cover the great mysteries which God desired to operate in me. Never was there a malady more extraordinary or more continued in its intensity. It lasted from Holy Cross Day of September to that of May. I was reduced to the state of a little child, but a state which was apparent only 16 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. to those who could understand; for as to the others, I appeared in an ordinary condition. I was reduced to the dependence of Jesus Christ, the Child, who wished to communicate himself to me in his state of childhood, and that I should bear him as such. This state was com municated to me almost immediately on my falling ill, and a dependence corresponding to the state. The further I advanced, the more was I set free from this dependence, as children gradually emerge from dependence in propor tion to their growth. My illness at first was a continuous fever of forty days. From the Holy Cross of September up to Advent it was a less violent fever, but after Advent it seized me in a more violent manner. In spite of my illness the Master willed I should receive him at Christmas midnight. Christmas Day my childhood became greater, and my illness increased. The fever intensified so that I was delirious ; besides, there was an abscess at the corner of the eye, which caused great pain. It opened entirely at this time, and they dressed it, for a long time passing in an iron up to the bottom of the cheek. I had such burning fever and so much weakness that they were obliged to allow it to close again without healing, for my exhausted body could not endure the operations without danger of instantly expiring. I suffered with extreme patience ; but it was like a child, who knows not what is done to him. I experienced at the same time both the strength of a God and the weakness of a little child, with a corresponding dependence. This mode of action was so foreign to my natural character that nothing less than the power of a God was needed to make me enter into it. I gave myself up to it, however, for my interior was such and was so powerfully urged by God, that I could not resist him. I was, not to press the comparison, like those who are possessed by the Evil Spirit, who makes them do what he wishes ; thus the Spirit of God was so completely the master, that I had to do everything that pleased him. Chap. XII.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 17 His will was not concealed from me ; he led me from within like a child, while he rendered my whole exterior childlike. They often brought me the Eucharist ; the Superior of the House having ordered that this consolation should be allowed me, seeing the extremity I was in. As Father La Combe often brought it to me, when the confessor of the House was not there, he remarked, and the nuns who were familiar with me also remarked it, that I had the face of a little child. In his astonishment he several times said to me, " It is not you ; it is a little child that I see." For myself, I saw nothing within but the candour and innocence of a little child. I had its weaknesses ; I some times wept from pain, but this was not known. I played and laughed in a way that charmed the girl who attended me; and those good nuns, who knew nothing about it, said that I had something which surprised and charmed them at the same time. Our Lord, however, with the weaknesses of his child hood gave me the power of a God over souls, so that with a word I cast them into trouble or peace, according as was necessary for the good of those souls. I saw that God made himself obeyed in me and through me, as an absolute Sovereign, and I no longer resisted him. I took no part in anything ; you might have performed, 0 my God, in me and through me the greatest miracles, and I should not have been able to reflect upon it. I felt within a candour of soul, without taint, which I cannot express. Moreover, I had to continue telling my thoughts to Father La Combe, or else writing them to him and aiding him, according to the light that was given to me. I often was so weak that I could not raise my head to take food, and when God desired I should write to him, either to aid and encourage him, or to explain what our Lord gave me to know, I had the strength to write. As soon as my letters were finished, I found myself in the same weakness. I was very much surprised to understand by experience that what you had VOL. II. c 18 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. wished of me, 0 my God, in obliging me thus to tell all my thoughts, had been to perfect me in simplicity, and to make Father La Combe enter into it, rendering me supple to all your wishes ; for whatever cross it was to me to tell my thoughts, and although Father La Combe often was offended to the point of disgust at serving me, and he let me know it (while yet through charity he got the better of his repugnance), I never for that ceased from telling them to him. Our Lord had made us understand that he united us by faith and by the cross, so that it has indeed been a union of the cross in every way ; as well from what I have made him suffer himself, and he in turn has made me suffer (which was very much more than anything I can tell), as from the crosses which this has drawn upon us from outside. The sufferings I had in respect of him were such that I was reduced to extremity, and they endured many years ; for although I have been longer at a distance from him than near him, this has not relieved my ill, which has continued until he has been perfectly annihilated and reduced to the point God wished for him. This operation has made him suffer pains the more severe in proportion as the designs God had for him were the greater, and he has caused me cruel pains. When I was a hundred leagues away from him, I felt his disposition. If he was faithful in allowing himself to be destroyed, I was in peace and free ; if he was unfaithful, in reflection or hesitation, I suffered strange torments until it was over. There was no necessity for him to tell me his state, that I should know it. I was often laid upon the ground the whole day, without being able to move, in agony, and after having for a fort night in this way endured sufferings which surpassed all I ever suffered in my life, I received letters from him, by which I learned his state to be such as I had felt it. Then suddenly I felt that he had re-entered on the state in which God wished him ; and then I experienced that gradually Chap. XII.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 19 my soul found a peace and a great freedom, which was more or less, according as he gave himself up more or less to our Lord. This was not a voluntary thing in me, but compulsory ; for if nature could have shaken off this yoke, more hard and painful than death, it would have done so. I said, 0 union necessary, and not voluntary, thou art not voluntary only because I am not any more mistress of myself, and I must yield to him who has taken so powerful a possession of me after I have given myself to him freely and without any reserve. My heart had in itself an echo and counter-stroke, which told it all the dispositions this Father was in ; but while he resisted God I suffered such horrible torments that I sometimes thought it would tear out my life. I was obliged from time to time to throw myself on the bed, and in that way bear the suffering which seemed to me unbearable; for, in short, to bear a soul, however distant the person may be from us, and to suffer all the rigours that Love makes her suffer, and all her resistance : this is strange. 20 -MADAME GUYON. [Part II. CHAPTER XIIL My sister was in no way capable of understanding my state, so that often she was offended at it. She got vexed when one concealed one's self in the least from her, and she could not appreciate a state that many persons more spiritual than she would have been unable to understand ; so that I suffered much from every quarter in this malady. The distress from the great pain was the least ; that from the creature was very different. My only consolation was to receive our Lord, and sometimes to see Father La Combe ; moreover, I had to suffer much from him, as I have said, bearing all his different dispositions. I was strangely exercised by my sister, by that nun, and by the maid who wanted to return to France. Whatever extremity I might be in, I had to listen to their differences, which they told me, the one after the other ; then they quarrelled with me for not taking their side. They did not let me sleep — for as the fever was more intense at night, I could only sleep for an hour, and I would gladly have slept by day : but they would not have it, saying it was only to avoid speaking to them — so that I required very great patience to bear with them. It lasted more than six months. I think this partly was the cause of a revery I had for two days together ; for I did not sleep, and I continued to hear a noise, with a terrible headache. I complained of nothing, and I suffered gaily, like a child. Chap. XIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 21 Father La Combe commanded them to give me some rest : for some days they did so, but it did not last ; they recom menced immediately. I cannot express the mercies which God showed me in this illness, and the profound lights he gave me on the future. I saw the Devil let loose against prayer and against me, and that he was about to stir up a strange persecution against people of prayer. I wrote all this to Father La Combe, and unless he has burned the letters, they ought to be still in existence. The Devil did not dare attack me myself ; he feared me too much. Sometimes I defied him, but he did not venture to appear, and I was for him like a thunderbolt. I understood then what power a self-annihilated soul has. Our Lord made me see all that has since happened, as the letters of that time prove. One day that I was thinking to myself of the nature of a dependence so great, and a union so pure and intimate, twice in a dream I saw Jesus Christ, the Child, of surpassing beauty, and, it seems to me, he united us very closely as he said, " It is I who unite you, and who wish you to be one." Another time he made me see the Father, as he was wandering away from me through want of fidelity, and he brought him back with extreme kindness, and willed him to aid me in my state of childhood, as I aided him in his state of death ; but I did not cause suffering to him. It was only I who had to suffer. He had an extreme charity for me, treating me as a real child, and he often said to me, " When I am near you I am as if I was near a little child." I was repeatedly reduced to extremity every ninth day, and ready to die, without, however, dying. I had, as it were, the last agony. I was many hours without breath ing, except at long intervals ; then I came back on a sudden. Death flattered me, for I had for it a great tenderness, but it only appeared as flying away. The Father forbade me to rejoice at dying, and I at once knew that it was im perfect, and did it no more. I remained in supreme 22 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. indifference. During this illness so many extraordinary things happened that it would be impossible for me to relate them. God continually performed miracles by Father La Combe, as well to relieve me and give me new strength when I was at extremity, as to show to him the care he ought to have of me, and the dependence I should have on him. I was like a little child, without thinking of myself or my illness. I would have gone without food every day, for want of thinking of it, and whatever was given I took, though it might be fatal to me. In my illness I was wrongly treated ; the remedies increased it, but I could not trouble myself in the matter. I always had a smiling face in my greatest sufferings, so that every one was astonished. The nuns had extreme compassion for me ; it was I alone who had no feeling for myself. Many times in dreams I saw Father La Mothe stirring up perse cutions against me. Our Lord made me know that he would greatly torment me, and that Father La Combe would leave me during the time of persecution. I wrote to him, and this hurt him much, because he felt his heart too united to the will of God, and too desirous of serving me in this same will, to act so. He thought that it was through distrust, but it turned out perfectly true ; he left mo in the persecution, not of his will, but through necessity, having been himself the first persecuted. The day of the Purification, when I had relapsed into a very severe fever, the Father ordered me to go to the Mass. For twenty-two days I had had continued fever, more violent than ordinary. I did not give a single thought to my state, but I got up and attended at the Mass, and returned to my bed much worse than before. It was a day of grace for me, or, rather, for the Father. God showed him very great grace in regard to me. Near Lent the Father, without giving attention to the fact that he had to preach at Lent, when he saw me so ill, said to our Lord to relieve me, and that he would bear a part of CHAP.2tin.] Atl'fdiiioclKll'MY; 23 my disease. He told our maids to ask the same thing, namely, that he might relieve me in the way he meant. It is true I was a little better, and he fell ill, which caused great alarm in the place, seeing he had to preach. He was so much run after that people used to come from five leagues' distance and pass several days there to hear him. When I learned he was so ill on Shrove Tuesday that they thought he would die, I offered myself to our Lord to become more ill, and that he would restore health to him, and enable him to preach to his people, who were hungering to hear him. Our Lord heard me, so that he mounted the pulpit on Ash Wednesday. It was in this illness, my Lord, that by degrees you taught me that there is another way than by speech for conversing with the creatures, who are entirely yours. You made me conceive, 0 Divine Word, that as you are always speaking and working in a soul, although you there appear in a profound silence, there was also a means of communication in your creatures, and by your creatures in an ineffable silence. I learned then a language unknown to me before. I perceived gradually that when Father La Combe was brought in either to confess me or give me the Communion, I could no longer speak to him, and that there took place in my central depth towards him the same silence which took place towards God. I understood that God wished me to learn that even in this life men might learn the language of the angels. Little by little I was reduced to speaking to him only in silence; it was then that we understood each other in God, in a manner ineffable and quite divine. Our hearts spoke and com municated to each other a grace which cannot be told. It was an altogether new country for him and me, but divine beyond expression. At the commencement this took place in a more perceptible manner, that is to say, that God so powerfully penetrated us with himself, and his divine Word made us so entirely one in him, but in a manner so pure 24 MADAME GUYON. [Pakt II. and so sweet, that we passed hours in this profound silence, still communicating, without being able to say a single word. It was there we learned by our experience the communications and operations of the Word, in order to reduce souls into his unity, and to what purity one may attain therein. It was given me to communicate in this way with other good souls, but with this difference, that for the others I alone communicated the grace with which, in this sacred silence, they were filled from me, com municating to them an extraordinary strength and grace ; but I received nothing from them. In the case of the Father, I experienced that there was a flux and reflux of communication of graces, which he received from me and I from him ; that he gave to me and I to him the same grace in an extreme purity. It was then I understood the ineffable intercourse of the Holy Trinity communicated to all the Blessed, how there is an outflow from God into all the souls of all the Blessed, and that this same God who communicates himself to them causes in them a flux and reflux of his divine communications ; that the Blessed spirits and the saints of a like degree or hierarchy reciprocally give by a flux and reflux of communication these divine outflowings, which then they distribute upon the inferior hierarchies, and that everything is reduced to its first principle, whence all these communications proceed. I saw that we were created to participate during this life in the ineffable happiness of intercourse with the Trinity, and in the flux and reflux of the divine Persons, which end in Unity of principle, and become again Unity without ever for a moment arresting the fruitfulness and communication between them ; principle without principle, which inces santly communicates, and receives all it communicates ; that it was necessary to be very pure to receive God in simplicity, and to allow him to flow back in himself in that purity ; and that it was necessary also to be very pure Chap. XIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 25 to receive and communicate the Divine Word, and then to distribute him by a flux and reflux of communication upon the other souls which God gives us. It is this which makes us one in God himself, and perfects us in the divine Unity, where we are made one same thing in him from whom all originates. I learned by experience then this hierarchic order, and these reciprocal communications between the saints of a similar rank and the angels of a similar order, and this outflow on the inferior saints and spirits, and that with such fulness that they were all filled according to their degree. This communication is God himself, who com municates himself to all the Blessed in a personal flux and reflux; such as he communicates himself from within, such he communicates himself from without, to his saints, and they are all rendered participators of the ineffable commerce of the Holy Trinity. It is to render the soul capable of this communication, that it is necessary for her to be purified so powerfully and so radically ; otherwise she would still be self-moved ; she would still retain something in her, and by such retention would not be suitable for the ineffable commerce of the Holy Trinity. Further, it is necessary to enlarge her capacity of reception, which, being extremely restricted and limited by sin, can only by fire and hammer-blows be put in a state suitable to the eternal designs of God in her creation. It was shown me how this hierarchic order existed even in this life, and that there were souls who without know ing it communicated with an infinity of others, and to whom grace for the perfection of the others was attached ; and that this hierarchy would last through all eternity, where the souls of the Blessed would receive from the same persons through whom grace had been communicated to them; and that those who mutually communicated would be in the same degree. It was then I learned the secret of spiritual fruitfulness and maternity ; and how the 26 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. Holy Spirit renders souls fruitful in himself, giving them to communicate to others the Word which he communicates to them — what St. Paul calls "the formation of Jesus Christ, and begetting in Jesus Christ" — and that it was in this way that children without number would be given to me, as well known as unknown. All those who are my true children have from the first a tendency to remain in silence near me, and I have an instinct to communicate to them in silence what God has given me for them. In this silence I discover their wants and their deficiencies, and I communicate to them in God himself all that is needed for them. They very well feel what they receive and what is communicated to them in abundance. When once they have tasted this manner of communion, all others become troublesome. For myself, when I use speech and pen with souls, it is only owing to their weak ness I do it, and because either they are not suiBciently pure for the interior communication, or it is still needful to use condescension, or to settle external matters. Our Lord made me experience with the saints of heaven the same communication as with the saints on earth ; and this is the way of being truly united to the saints in God. I experienced these communications very strong and very intimate, especially with those with whom one has a greater relation of grace, and to whom one will be more closely united in heaven. At the commencement it was more sensible, because our Lord had the kindness to instruct me by experience. It is the way he has always acted with me ; he has not enlightened me by illumination and knowledge, but while making me experience the things, he has given me the understanding of what I experienced. I understood also the maternity of the Holy Virgin, and in what manner we participate in her maternity, and how the saying of Jesus Christ is real, when he says, that he who does the will of his Father, becoming one Chap. XIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 27 will with his, is made his mother, his brother, and his sister. They are truly made his mothers, producing him in souls. It was in this ineffable silence I understood the manner in which Jesus Christ communicated himself to his intimates, and the communication of St. John on the breast of our Lord at the Last Supper. It was not the first time that he had so placed himself, and it was because he was very fit to receive those divine com munications that he was the chosen and loved disciple. It was at this great banquet that Jesus Christ, as Word, flowed into John, and discovered to him the most profound secrets, before communicating himself to him in the mastication of his body. And it is then there was com municated to him that wonderful secret of the eternal generation of the Word, because he was rendered a participator in the ineffable intercourse of the Holy Trinity. He knew that therein is the characteristic of the true children of God, and how the silent speech operated ; for this speech in silence is the most noble, the most exalted, the most sublime of all operations. It was then he learned the difference of being " born of the flesh, of the will of man, or of the will of God." The operations of the flesh are those of carnal men, those of the will of man are those which are virtuous, being done by the goodwill of the man ; but those of which I speak are those of the will of God, where man has no other part but the consent which he gives to them, as Mary did : " Let it be unto me according to thy word." She not only gave her consent for herself alone that the Word should become incarnate in her, but she gave it for all men who are her children — that is, for all those who are regenerated in Jesus Christ ; she gave, I say, a consent for them that the Word should communicate himself to them and that, as the consent which Eve had given to the Devil for sin, had caused death to enter into all her children, so the consent 28 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL which Mary would give should communicate the life of the Word to all her children. It is for this that Jesus Christ is " the way, the truth, and the life," and that he comes "to enlighten every man who comes into the world." " He has come unto his own, and his own have not received him." He is not known in his most intimate communications except to those to whom he has given " to be made children of God," and to become children. It was this wonderful mystery which was effected at the foot of the cross, when Jesus Christ said to St. John, "Behold your mother," and to the Holy Virgin, " Behold your son." He taught St. John that he wished him to receive from the Holy Virgin what he used to receive immediately from himself before his death ; and he made known to the Holy Virgin that he had given to her to communicate herself to St. John as to her son, and through him to all the Church. It was at that moment that those divine communications were given to men through Mary and St. John, and it was for this that he wished that his heart should be opened, to show that he sent his Spirit through his heart, and that it was the spirit of his heart that he communicated. Mary received then the gift of producing the Word in all hearts : and as Jesus Christ gave himself by the mastication of his body to all men, he wished also to communicate himself as the Word to all spirits of which he is the life. It was not only to St. John that this communication was made, but it was for us a sensible example of this kind of communication. Therefore our Lord said of St. John, " If I will that he tarry until I come, what is it to thee ? " He did not say that he should not die, but if I will that he continue thus, in this ineffable communication, what is it to thee ? I propose to communicate myself also to the men prepared to receive me in that way. 0 wonderful communications, those which passed between Mary and St. John! 0 filiation quite divine. Chap. XIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 29 who art willing to extend thyself even to me, all unworthy as I am! 0 divine Mother, who art willing to com municate your fruitfulness and your altogether divine maternity to this poor nothing ! I mean this fecundity of hearts and spirits. In order to instruct me thoroughly in this mystery, for the sake of others, our Lord willed that a maid — she is the one I have spoken of — should have need of this help. I have experienced it in aU ways, and when I did not wish her to remain near me in silence, I used to see her interior gradually sink, and even her bodily powers diminish, until she was on the point of falling in a faint. When I had made sufficient experi ments of this to understand these ways of communication, her extreme needs passed away, and I commenced to discover, especially with Father La Combe when he was absent, that the interior communication took place at a distance as well as near. Sometimes our Lord made me stop short in the midst of my occupations, and I experienced that there went out an outflow of grace, like that I had experienced when with him — a thing I have also experienced with many others, not altogether in a similar degree, but more or less, feeling their infidelities and infallibly know ing their faults by inconceivable impressions; as I shall tell in the sequel. 30 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL CHAPTER XIV. In this long sickness, your love alone, 0 my God, con stituted my occupation without occupation. I was consumed night and day. I could not see myself in any way, so was I lost in you, 0 my Sovereign Good, and it seems indeed to my heart that it has never gone out from this Divine Ocean, although you have dragged it through the mud of the most severe humiliations. Who could ever comprehend, 0 my Love, that you made your creatures to be so one with you, that they so lose sight of themselves as no longer to see anything but you ? 0 loss, which is the blessing of blessings, although all is effected in crosses, deaths, and bitterness ! Jesus the Child was then all living in me, or rather, he was existing alone ; I was no longer. You taught me, 0 my Love, that your state of childhood would not be the only one I must bear ; you impressed upon me these words as of a real state, into which you wished me to enter : " The birds of the heaven have nests, and the foxes have holes, but the Son of Man has not where to rest his head." You have indeed made me experience this state in all its extent since that time, having never left me even an assured dwelling, where I could rest for more than a few months, and every day in uncertainty as to being there on the morrow; besides this, in a total deprivation of all creatures, finding refuge neither with my friends, who Chap. XIV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 31 were ashamed of me, and who openly renounced me when they saw me decried, nor among my relatives, the greater part of whom have declared themselves my adversaries and my greatest persecutors. The rest have never regarded me but with contempt and indignation. My own children ridiculed me in society. It is indeed, 0 my Love, this second time much more strongly than the first, although in a manner less sensible, that the state of Job should be attributed to me ; " I was," as David says, " a reproach to my neighbours, the object of public ridicule." But before going on I must continue what took place in my illness. One night that I was quite awake you showed me to myself under the figure — who says figure does not say reality ; the brazen serpent which was the figure of Jesus Christ was not Jesus Christ — you showed me, I say, under the figure of that woman in the Apocalypse, who has the moon under her feet, encircled with the sun, twelve stars upon the head, who, being with child, cried in the pains of childbirth. You explained to me its mystery. You made me understand that the moon, which was under her feet, signified that my soul was above the vicissitude and inconstancy of events; that I was surrounded and pene trated by yourself; that the twelve stars were the fruits of this state, and the gifts with which it was honoured; that I was pregnant of a fruit, which was that spirit you wished me to communicate to all my children, whether in the manner I have mentioned, or by my writings ; that the Devil was that terrible dragon who would use his efforts to devour the fruit, and cause horrible ravages through all the earth, but that you would preserve this fruit of which I was full in yourself, that it should not be lost — therefore have I confidence that, in spite of the tempest and the storm, all you have made me say or write will be preserved — that in the rage in which the Devil would be at not succeeding in the design he has conceived against this fruit, he would attack me, and would send a 32 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. flood against me to swallow me up ; that this flood would be that of calumny, which would be ready to sweep me away, but the earth would open — that is to say, the calumny would little by little subside. You made me see, 0 my God, all the world incensed against me, without any one whatever for me, and you assured me in the ineffable silence of your eternal speech that you would give me millions of children that I should bring forth for you by the Cross. I was no longer in a state to interest myself in this in the way either of humility or joy. I let you do with me, 0 my 'Divine Love, what you pleased, as with a thing that was yours, in which I no longer took any personal interest ; my sole interest was yours. You made me know how the Devil was about to stir up against Prayer a strange persecution, which would be the source of this very Prayer, or rather, the means you would make use of to establish it. You made me further know how you would lead me into the desert, where you would support me a time, times, and half a time ; the wings which were to carry me were the utter abandonment of myself to your holy will and the love of that same will. I believe that I am now in the desert, separated from all the world by my captivity, and I see, 0 my God, already one part of what you made me know in course of accomplishment. I wrote all this to Father La Combe, to whom you united me still more strongly, impressing upon me in relation to him the same words that you had your self impressed upon me : "I unite you in faith and in cross." 0 God, you promise nothing in the matter of crosses that you do not abundantly give. Could I tell, 0 God, the mercies you showed me ? No, they will remain in yourself, being of a nature that cannot be described, owing to their purity and their depth, free from all distinction. During my illness I was often at the point of death, as I have said. One day, when they thought me almost well, at four o'clock in the morning I perceived the Dragon, not Chap. XIV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 33 under any form. I did not see him, but I was certain it was he. I had no fear, for, as I have said, I could not fear him, because my Lord protects me, and keeps me safe under the shadow of his wings. He emerged as if from the place between the side of my bed and the wall, and gave me a furious blow on the left foot. I was immediately seized with a great shivering, which lasted continuously four hours ; it was followed by a very sharp fever. Convulsions seized me, and the side on which he had struck was half dead. The attacks came every morning at the same hour as the blow, and the convulsions increased in a marked way every day. On the seventh day, after having been all the night sometimes without pulse and without speech, and sometimes a little better, in the morning I felt the convulsions were coming on. I felt at the same time that life left the lower parts in proportion as the convulsions came higher : they fixed themselves in my entrails. I felt then very great pains, and a movement in my entrails, as if I had thousands of children, who all moved at the same time. In my life I have never felt anything approaching that. This lasted a very long time with extreme violence. I felt little by little my life was contracting itself round the heart. Father La Combe gave me the Extreme Unction, the Prioress of the Ursulines having prayed him to do so, as they had not their ordinary priest. I was very glad to die, and he was not troubled at it. It would be difficult to understand without experience how a union, so close that there is nothing like it, can bear, without feeling any pain, a division such as that of seeing a person die to whom one is so firmly attached; he himself was astonished at it. But, nevertheless, it is not difficult to conceive that, being united only in God himself, in a manner so pure and so intimate, death could not divide us ; on the contrary, it would have united us still more closely. It is a thing I have many times experienced, that the least resistance he made to God caused me to suffer VOL. II. D 34 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. inexplicable torments ; and to see him die, a prisoner, at a distance for ever, did not cause me the shadow of pain. He showed then great contentment at seeing me die, and we laughed together at the moment which constituted all my pleasure ; for our union was different from any that can be imagined. However, death still drew near my heart, and I felt the convulsions which seized my entrails mount up there. I can say I have felt death without dying. The Father, who was on his knees near my bed, remarked the change in my face, the clouding of my eyes ; he saw I was on the point of expiring. He asked me. Where was death and the convulsions ? I made a sign that they were reaching the heart, and I was about to die. 0 God, you did not want me yet ; you reserved me for far other pains than those of death, if one can call j)ains what one suffers in the state in which you have placed me by your goodness alone. You inspired Father La Combe to place his hand over the coverlet in the region of my heart, and with a strong voice, heard by those in the room (which was almost full), he said to death to pass no furtlier. It obeyed his voice, and my heart, recovering a little life, came back. I felt those same convulsions descend again into my entrails, in the same way as they had mounted up, and they continued all the day in the entrails with the samo violence as before, then descended gradually to the placo where the Dragon had struck, and this foot was the last revivified. For two months on that side a very great weakness remained, and even after I was better, and in a condition to walk, I could not support myself on that foot, which could hardly bear me. I continued still ill, and in languor, and you gave me, my God, yet new evidence of your love. How many times did you make use of your servant to restore life to me, when I was on the point of expiring ! As they saw that my ailments did not cease, it was thought the air of the lake, on which the convent was Chap. XIV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 35 built, was entirely unsuited to me, and was the cause of so many mishaps. It was settled that I must leave it. While I was thus ill, our Lord gave Father La Combe the idea of establishing a hospital in this place, where there was none, to receive the sick poor, and also of instituting a Congrega tion of Dames of Charity, to furnish those who could not quit their family to go to the hospital with the means of living during their sickness — such as we have in France ; no institution of the kind being in this country. I readUy entered into it, and without any capital but providence and some useless rooms that the authorities of the town gave, we commenced it. It was dedicated to the Holy Child Jesus, and he willed to give the first beds there from the money of my annuity which belonged to him. He gave such a blessing that many other persons joined. In a little time there were about twelve beds, and for the service of this hospital he gave three persons of great piety, who, without any payment, consecrated themselves to the service of the sick. I gave them ointments and remedies which they distributed to rich people, who paid, to the profit of the sick poor, and to the poor of the town they gave them without charge. These good Dames are so well disposed that through their charity, and the care of these nuns, this hospital is very well maintained. These Dames formed a union also to provide for the sick who could not go to the hospital ; and I gave them some little rules I had observed when in France. They have kept this up with love and charity. We had also the devotion to cause every twenty- fifth of the month a service of blessing to be celebrated in the chapel of the Congregation, which is dedicated to the Holy Child Jesus ; and for this we gave a complete outfit to the chapel. All these trifling things, which cost little, and which succeeded only in the blessing that you gave them, 0 my God, drew upon us new persecutions. The Bishop of Geneva was more offended than ever, and because he saw 36 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL that these little things made me to be loved, he said I gained over every one. He openly declared that he could not endure me in his diocese, where, however, I had done nothing but good, or, rather, you through me. He com menced even to extend his persecutions to the worthy nuns who had kindness for me. The Prioress had severe crosses through me, but they did not last long; for as I was obliged, owing to the air, to withdraw, after having been there about two years and a half, they had greater quiet. On the other hand, my sister was very tired of that House, and as the time for the mineral waters approached, the occasion was seized to send her back, together with the maid I had brought, and who tormented me so much during all my illness. I kept with me only her whom Providence had sent me by means of my sister; and I have always believed that God had permitted her journey merely that she might bring her to me, God having chosen her for me, as suitable for the state he wished me to bear. While I was still ill at the Ursulines, the Bishop of Verceil, who was a very great friend of the Father General of the Bernabites, urgently asked him to select among his monks a man of merit, piety, and doctrine, in whom he could have confidence, and who might serve him as theologian and adviser ; that his diocese was in great want of this help. The General at once cast his eyes on Father La Combe. This was the more feasible, as his six years of priorship were coming to an end. The Father General, before engaging him with the Bishop of Verceil, wrote to him to know if he would have any objection, assuring him he would do only what was pleasing to him. Father La Combe answered that his only wish was to obey him, and he might give whatever order he pleased. He told me of this, and that we were about to be entirely separated. I had no chagrin thereat. I was very well content that our Lord should make use of him under a Bishop who knew him, and did him justice. There was still some delay in Chap. XIV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 37 sending him off, as well because the Bishop was still at Rome, as that the period of the Father's priorship was not yet completed. Before leaving the Ursulines, the good hermit, of whom I have spoken, wrote me that he urgently prayed me to go to Lausanne, which was only six leagues from Tonon on the lake, because he still hoped to withdraw his sister, who lived there, and convert her. One cannot go there and speak of religion without risk. As soon as I was in a state to walk, although still very weak, I resolved to go at the request of the worthy hermit. We took a boat, and I asked Father La Combe to accompany us. We got there easily enough ; but as the lake was still a quarter of a league distant from the town, in spite of my weakness, I had to summon strength to make the journey on foot. We could find no carriage. The boatmen supported me as well as they could, but this was not enough for the state in which I was. When I reached the town, I did not know if I had a body ; if it was upon my legs I walked, or on those of somebody else. I spoke to that woman with Father La Combe : she had been just married, and we could do nothing but incur risk ourselves ; for this woman assured us that, except for her regard for her brother, whose letters we brought, she would have denounced us as having come to corrupt the Protestants. We were afterwards near perish ing on the lake in a dangerous place, where a tempest came on that would have swallowed us up, had not God protected us in his usual way. A few days later, in that very spot, a boat with thirty -three persons perished. 38 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL CHAPTER XV. I LEFT then the Ursulines, and a house at a distance from the lake was sought for me. The only empty one avail able had every appearance of the utmost poverty. There was no chimney except in the kitchen, through which we had to pass to reach the room. I took my daughter with me, and gave the largest room to her and the maid who attended her. I was placed in a little hole with some straw, which we went up to by a wooden ladder. As I had no furniture but our bedsteads, which were white, I bought some rush-seated chairs, with plates and dishes of earthen ware and wood. Never have I tasted such contentment as I found in this little spot ; it seemed to me so in harmony with Jesus Christ. I relished everything better on wood than on silver. I made all my little provisions, thinking to live there for a long time. But the Devil did not allow me to enjoy so sweet a peace. It would be difficult to tell the persecutions I was subjected to. Stones were thrown through my windows, falling at my feet. I had got the little garden put in order ; at night people came, tore up everything, broke the trellis-work, and overturned every thing, as if soldiers had been through it. All night long they came to the door and abused me, making a show of breaking in the door. These persons have since told who had set them on. Although from time to time I gave in charity at Gex, I was none the less persecuted. A lettre de Chap. XV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 39 cachet was offered to a person to compel Father La Combe to remain at Tonon, in the belief that it would be a support to me during the persecution ; but we prevented it. I did not then know God's designs, and that he would soon with draw me from the place. I can say I have never tasted an equal pleasure to that in this poor and solitary little place where I lived ; I was happier than kings. But, 0 my God, it was still a nest for me, and a place of repose, and you willed I should be like you. The Devil, as I have said, embittered my persecutors. I was requested to leave the diocese, and the good which you caused me to do there, 0 my Lord, was more condemned than the greatest crimes : the latter were tolerated ; they could not endure me. During all this time I never felt grief or regret at what I had done in giving up all, nor even a trouble as to not having done your will ; not that I was assured of having done it — that assurance would have been too much for me — but I was so lost that I could neither see nor regard anything, taking all equally as from the hand of God, who served out to me these crosses either through justice or mercy. The Marquise de Prunai, sister of the chief State Secretary and Minister of His Royal Highness, had sent an express from Turin during my illness, to invite me to go to her ; that, being persecuted as I was in this diocese, I should find an asylum with her ; that meantime things would soften down ; and when people should be well disposed, she would return with me, and join me and my friend from Paris, who also wished to come to work there according to the will of God. I was not then able to carry out what she desired, and I made my account to remain at the Ursulines until things changed. She spoke no more of it. This lady is of the most extraordinary piety, having quitted the Court for retirement and to give herself to God. At twenty-two years of age, with good natural advantages, she remained a widow, and has refused all offers in order to consecrate herself to our Lord, whose she is without any reserve. 40 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL When she knew I was obliged to quit the Ursulines, without knowing the manner in which I was treated, she obtained a lettre de cachet to oblige Father La Combe to go to Turin, and spend some weeks for his own business, and to bring me with him, where I should find a refuge. She did all this without our knowledge, and, as she has since said, a superior power made her do it without knowing the cause. If she had thought on the matter, being so prudent as she is, she perhaps would not have done it, for the persecutions the Bishop of Geneva brought on us in that place caused her many humiliations. Our Lord has permitted him to pursue me in a surprising manner in all the places where I have been, without allowing me truce or respite, although I have never done him any ill ; on the contrary, I would have given my blood for the good of his diocese. As this was done without our participation, unhesi tatingly we believed it was the will of God, and perhaps a means that he wished to use to withdraw us from disgrace and persecution, seeing that I was hunted away on the one side and sought for on the other ; so that it was settled I should go to Turin, and that Father La Combe should escort me, and go thence to Verceil. I took in addition, in order to do things with perfect propriety, and deprive our enemies of all subject for talk, a monk, a man of merit, who for fourteen years was teaching theology. I further took with me a boy I had brought from France, who had learned the trade of tailor. They hired horses, and I had a litter for my daughter, my maid, and myself. But all these precautions are useless when it is God's pleasure to crucify. Our adversaries wrote at once to Paris, and they invented a hundred ridiculous stories — pure fictions, and utterly false — about this journey. It was Father La Mothe who set all that going — perhaps he believed it true ; even had it been so, out of charity he, should have concealed it, but, being as false as it was, he was still more bound to do this. They said that I had gone Chap. XV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 41 alone with Father La Combe, running from province to province, and a thousand malicious fables. We suffered all in patience without justifying ourselves or complaining. If things were looked at without passion, could I have done better under the circumstances ? and was it not honourable, and even advantageous, according to all rules of propriety, to be in the house with a lady of that rank and merit ? Was it not enough to cut short slander ? and when one is irregular, does one select houses of that character ? But passion has no eyes, and calumny is a torrent which carries away everything. Hardly had we arrived at Turin when the Bishop of Geneva wrote against us. He perse cuted us by his letters, being unable to do it any other way. Father La Combe went to Verceil, and I remained at Turin, in the house of the Marquise de Prunai. What crosses had I not to endure from my family, the Bishop of Geneva, the Bernabites, and numberless persons? My elder son came to see me on the subject of my mother- in-law's death, which was a very serious addition to my crosses ; but after we had heard all his reasons — ¦ seeing without me they had sold all the movables, elected guardians, and settled everything independently of me — I was quite useless. It was not thought well for me to return, owing to the severity of the season. You alone, 0 my God, know what I suffered ; for you did not make me know your will, and Father La Combe said he had no light to guide me. You know, my Lord, what this dependence has made me suffer ; for he, who to every one else was gentle, often had for me an extreme hardness. You were the author of aU this, 0 my God; and you willed that he should so behave in order that I might remain without consolation ; for those who applied to him he advised very correctly; but when it was a question of deciding me on any matter, he could not, telling me he had no light to guide me, that I must do what I could. The more he said these things to 42 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. me the more I felt myself dependent on him, and unable to decide. We have been a real cross, the one to the other ; we have truly experienced that our union was in faith and in cross, for the more we were crucified, the more were we united. It is fancied that our union was natural and human : you know, 0 my God, that we both found in it only cross, death, and destruction. How often did we say that if the union had been natural, we should not have preserved it a moment amidst so many crosses. I avow that the crosses which have come to me from this quarter have been the greatest of in.y life. You know the purity, the innocence, and tbe integrity of that union, and how it was all founded on you yourself; as you had the goodness to assure me. My dependence became greater every day ; for I was like a little child who neither can nor knows how to do anything. When Father La Combe was where I was (which was seldom, since my departure from the Ursulines), I could not exist long without seeing him, as well owing to the strange ills which overwhelmed me suddenly, and reduced me to the point of death, as owing to my state of childhood. When he was absent, I was not troubled at it, and I had no need. I did not even think of him, and I had not the slightest desire to see him, for my need was not in my will, nor in my choice, nor even in any leaning to him or inclination ; but you were the author of it, and as you were not contrary to yourself, you gave me no need of him when you took him away from me. At the commencement of my stay at Turin, Father La Combe remained there some time waiting for a letter from the Bishop of Verceil ; and he availed of the opportunity to pay a visit to his intimate friend the Bishop of Aosta, who was acquainted with my family. As he knew the bitter persecution which the Bishop of Geneva set on foot against us through the Court at Turin, he made me an offer to go into his diocese, and he sent me the kindest letters possible by Father La Combe. He wrote that Chap. XV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 43 previous to his acquaintance with St. Paulina, St. Jerome was a saint ; but how was he spoken of afterwards ? He wished me thereby to understand how Father La Combe had always passed for a saint before that persecution that I had innocently brought on him. At the same time he showed me that he preserved a very great esteem for him. He even desired, as he was very old, to give up the Bishopric in his favour. The Marquise de Prunai, who had so much wished for me, seeing the great crosses and the abjectness of my state, became disgusted with me : my childlike simplicity, which was the state God then kept me in, seemed to her mind stupidity, although in that state our Lord made me utter oracles ; for when it was a question of helping any one, or of anything our Lord wished of me, with the weakness of a child, which appeared only in the candour, he gave me a divine strength. Her heart remained closed for me all the time I was there. Our Lord, however, made me tell what would happen to them, and which, in fact, has happened, not only to her, but also to her daughter and the virtuous ecclesiastic who lived with her. She, nevertheless, towards the end, took to me with more friendship, and she saw that our Lord was in me. But it was the self-love and the fear of abject ness (seeing me so decried), which had shut her heart. Besides, she believed her state more advanced than it was, owing to the time she was without trials ; yet she soon saw by experience that I had told her the truth. She was obliged for family reasons to quit Turin, and go to her estate. She strongly urged me to go with her, but the education of my daughter did not permit me. It was out of the question to remain at Turin without the Marquise de Prunai, and the rather, as having lived very retired in that place, I had made no acquaintances. I knew not what to do. Father La Combe, as I said, lived at Verceil. The Bishop of Verceil had written to me most kindly, strongly urging me to go to Verceil and live near him,, 44 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. promising me his protection and assuring me of his esteem, adding that he would look upon me as his own sister, that from the account he had received of me he extremely desired to have me. It was his sister, a nun of the Visitation at Turin, a great friend of mine, who had written to him about me ; also a French gentleman he knew. But a certain point of honour prevented me. I did not wish that any one could say that I had been running after Father La Combe, and that it was with a view to going there I had come to Turin. His reputation was also at stake, which would not allow him to consent to my going there, however strongly the Bishop of Verceil urged it. If, however, he and I had believed it was the will of God, we would have got over all other considerations. God kept us both in such a de pendence on his orders that he did not let us know them ; but the divine moment determined everything. This served much to annihilate Father La Combe, who had very long walked by certainties. God in his goodness deprived him of them all, for he willed him to die without reserve. During all the time I was at Turin our Lord showed me very great favours, and I found myself every day more transformed into him, and I had still greater knowledge of the state of souls, without being mistaken, or deceiving myself therein, however they might try to persuade me of the contrary, and though I might myself have used all my efforts to entertain other thoughts ; which has cost me not a little. For when I told Father La Combe, or wrote to him the state of some souls, which appeared to him more perfect and more advanced than what I was given to know of them, he attributed it to pride, got very indignant against me, and even conceived a repugnance to my state. My grief was not because he esteemed me less — by no means ; for I was not even in a state to reflect whether he esteemed me or not — but it was that our Lord did not allow me to change my thoughts, and he obliged me to tell them Chap. XV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 45 to him. He could not reconcile — God so permitting it in order to destroy him more thoroughly, and take from him every support — he could not, I say, reconcile a miraculous obedience in a thousand things and a firmness which seemed to him then extraordinary, and even criminal in certain things. This made him even distrustful of my grace : for he was not yet established in his way, and did not enough understand that it in no way depended on me, the being of one manner or the other ; and that if I had had any power, I would have reconciled myself to what he said, in order to spare myself the crosses which it caused me ; or at least would have cleverly dissimulated. But I could do neither the one nor the other ; and though every thing should perish, I had to tell him matters as our Lord made me tell them. God has given me in this an inviolable fidelity to the end, without the crosses and griefs having made me for one moment fail in this fidelity. These things, then, which seemed obstinacy to him for want of light, and which God so permitted to deprive him of the support he would have found in the grace that was in me, set him in division from me ; and although he told me nothing of it, and, on the contrary, tried with all his power to conceal it, however distant from me he might be, I could not be ignorant ; for our Lord made me feel it in a strange way, as if I had been divided from myself. This I felt with more or less pain, according as the division was more or less strong ; ¦ but as soon as it diminished or ended, my pain ceased, and I was set at large, and this at however great a distance I might be from him. On his side he experienced that when he was divided from me he was also from God, and many times he has said and written to me : " When I am well with God, I am well with you, and as soon as I am ill with God, I am ill with you." These were his own words. He experienced that when God received him into his bosom, it was in uniting him with me, as if he did not ' 46 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL want him except in this union. And our Lord made me very heavily pay for all his infidelities. While he was at Turin a widow came to him to con fession. She is a good servant of God, but all in illumina tion and sensibility. As she was in a state of sensibility she told him wonders. The Father was delighted, for he felt the sensible of her grace. I was at the other side of the confessional. After I had waited a long time, he said one or two words to me ; then he sent me away, saying he had just found a soul which was devoted to God ; that it was truly she who was so ; that he was quite refreshed by her ; that it would be a long time before he would find this in me ; that I no longer produced anything in his soul but death. At first I was glad that he had found such a holy soul, for I am always, my Lord, greatly rejoiced to see you glorified. I returned home without giving it any more attention, but while returning our Lord made me see clearly the state of that soul, which was in truth very good, but which was only at the commencement, in a mixture of affection and a little silence, quite full of the sensible; that it was owing to this the Father felt sympathetically her state ; that as for me, in whom our Lord had destroyed everything, I was very far from being able to communicate to him the sensible. Moreover, our Lord made me under stand that, being in him, as I was, without anything of my own, he communicated to Father La Combe through me only what he communicated to him directly himself, which was, death, nakedness, a stripping of everything ; and that anything else would make him live his self-life and hinder his death ; that if he stopped at sentiment, it would be hurtful to his interior. I had to write all this to him. On receiving my letter, he remarked in it at first a character of truth, but reflection having succeeded, he judged all I told him to be only pride, and this caused him some estrangement from me ; for he had still in his mind the ordinary rules of humility, conceived and understood in our Chap. XV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 47 / manner, and did not see that there could be no other rule for me but to do the will of my God. I thought no longer of humility nor of pride, but I let myself be led as a child who says and does without distinction all he is made to say or do. I easily understand that all persons who are not entered into self-annihilation will accuse me of pride in this, but in my state I cannot give it a thought. I allow myself to be led where I am led, high or low ; all is for me equally good. He wrote to me that at first he had found in my letter something which seemed to him true, and that he entered into it, but after having re-read it with attention he had found it full of pride, obstinacy, and a preference of my lights to others. I could not give a thought to all this, to find it in myself, nor, as formerly, to convince myself, believing it though I did not see it. That was no longer for me ; I could not reflect on it. If he had thought, he might have seen that a person who has neither will nor inclination for anything, is far removed from obstinacy, and he would have therein recognized God. But our Lord did not then permit him. I wrote again to him to prove the truth of what I had advanced ; but this only served to confirm him in the unfavourable sentiments he had conceived of me. Pie entered into division. I knew the moment he had opened my letter, and had entered into it, and I was thrown into my ordinary suffer ing. When the maid who went to him with that letter (and who was the same I have spoken of, whom our Lord had brought to me) had returned, I told her, and she said it was precisely at that hour he had read my letter. Our Lord did not give me any thought of writing to him again on this subject ; but the following Sunday, when I went to confess, and was on my knees, he at once asked me if I still persisted in my sentiments of pride, and if I still believed the same thing. Up to this I had not made any reflection either upon what I had thought or what I had 48 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. written to him; but at this moment having done so, it appeared to me pride, as he told me. I answered, "It is true, my Father, that I am proud, and that person is more devoted to God than I." As soon as I had pronounced these words, I was cast out as if from Paradise to the depth of Hell. I have never suffered such torment ; I was beside myself. My face changed suddenly, and I was like a person about to expire, whose reason is gone. I sank back. The Father at once perceived it, and was at the moment enlightened as to the little power I had in these things, and how I was obliged to say and do without discernment what the Master made me do. He said to me at once, "Believe what you before believed. I order you." As soon as he said this to me I commenced gradually to breathe and to come to life ; in proportion as he entered into what I had said to him my soul recovered her freedom, and I said as I turned away, " Let no one speak to me again of humility. The ideas people have of the virtues are not for me ; there is but one single thing for me, which is to obey my God." A little time after, from her manner of acting, he recognized that that person^ was very far from what he had thought. I relate a single example, but I could give many similar. Chap. XVL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 49 CHAPTER XVI. Onk night our Lord made me see in a dream that he wished also to purify the maid he had given me, and to make her truly enter upon the death of Self, but that it was necessary this also should be done through me, and by means of suffering. I, therefore, had to make up my mind to suffer for her what I suffered for Father La Combe, although in a different manner. She has made me suffer inconceivable torments. As she resisted God much more than he, and the selfhood was far stronger in her, she had more to purify; so that I had to suffer martyrdoms that I could not make conceivable should I tell them : but it is impossible for me. What augmented my trouble was that Father La Combe never understood this as long as it lasted, always attributing it to defect and imperfection on my part. I bore this torment for that girl three entire years. When the resistances were strongest, and the Father approved her, without my knowing it, I entered into torments I can not tell. I fell sick from it, so I was almost continually ill. Sometimes I passed whole days upon the ground, supported against the bedstead, without being able to stir, and suffering torments so excessive that had I been upon the rack I think I should not have felt it, so terrible was the internal pain. When that girl resisted God more strongly, and came near me, she burned me ; and when she touched me I felt so strange a pain that material fire vo L. n. E 50 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL would have been only its shadow. Ordinarily I allowed myself to burn with inconceivable violence ; at other times I asked her to withdraw, because I could not any longer support the pain. She sometimes took this for aversion, and told Father La Combe, who was angry at it, and reproved me. However, when herself, she could not judge altogether in that manner, for our Lord made me con stantly perform miracles for her. I had absolute power over her soul and her body. However ill she was, as soon as I told her to be cured, she was so ; and as to the interior, as soon as I said to her, "Be at peace," she was so; and when I had a movement to deliver her to pain, and I delivered her to it, she entered into an inconceivable pain ; but almost all her pain it was I bore, with inexpressible violence. 0 my God, it seems to me you have made me under stand by my own experience something of what you have suffered for men ; and it seemed to me, by what I suffered, that a part of what you have suffered for men would have consumed ten thousand worlds. It needed no less than the strength of a God to bear that torment without being annihilated. Once, when I was ill, and this girl was in her resistances and her selfhood, she approached me. I felt so violent a fire that I could not, it seemed to me, bear it without dying. This fire, it appears to me, is the same as that of purgatory. I told her to withdraw, owing to what I suffered. As she thought it was only opposition to her, she persisted, out of friendliness, in remaining. She took me by the arms. The violence of the pain was so excessive, that without paying any attention to what I did, being altogether beside myself from the excess of pain, I bit my arm with such force that I almost took out the piece. She saw the blood and the wound I had caused myself before perceiving the manner. This made her understand that there was something extraordinary in it. She informed the Father, as he was then at Turin, and for some time he had Chap. XVL] AUTOBIOGEAPHY. 51 not come to see me, because he was in division and in trouble. He was much surprised at the hurt I had caused myself : he could not understand what caused me to suffer ; and I had difficulty to explain myself to him, and make him know it. In the evening she wished to approach me. I commanded the pain which I suffered for her to seize upon her. At once she entered into so strange a pain that she believed she was about to die, and I was delivered from it for the moment ; but as she could not bear it, I took it back away from her, leaving her in peace. Our Lord made me see in a dream the resistances she would make to me under the figure of numerous animals which issued from her body, and he made me feel the pain of that purification, as if when the animals were drawn out I was burned M'ith a red-hot iron on the right shoulder. Those animals appeared to me transparent, so that the outside looked pure and clear as a glass, and the inside full of unclean animals ; and I was given to know that she had passed through the first purification, which is that of the exterior, and for this reason she had been held a saint in the world ; but she had not yet been purified radically, and so far from it, the exterior purification had, as it were, fortified her self-love, and rendered the selfhood more dominant in the central depth of her being. I saw that in j)roportion as I suffered, those animals destroyed one another; so that at last only one remained, who devoured all the others. He appeared to have in himself all the malice of the others, and he struggled against me in a surprising manner. It should be known that as soon as this was shown me, and it was given me to suffer for her, she exteriorly entered into a state which might have passed for madness. She was no longer fit to render me any service ; in continual anger, everything offended her without rhyme or reason — jealousy of everybody, and a thousand other defects. Although she exercised me enough for the exterior, all this 52 MADAME GUYON. [Pabt II. gave me no trouble ; it was only that extreme pain which made me suffer. She became frightfully awkward, break ing and destroying everything, not being able to endure any one. All who saw me served in this way, pitied me, for she had the disgrace that, whatever eagerness she had to do well, she did everything ill ; our Lord so permitting it. If I was ill in a sweat or a shivering fit, she, without thinking, threw pots of water over me ; if any one, or she herself, had prepared anything, hoping to give me an appetite, she threw it in the cinders; if I had anything useful, she broke or lost it ; and I never said anything to her, although things went so far that there was reason to think my income would not suffice for the half year. She was gi'eatly distressed because I never said anything to her about what concerned me; for her affection for me was such that she was more grieved at this than at other faults which did not affect me, while for me it was the contrary. I had not the shadow of trouble from this. What I could not suffer in her was the self-love and the selfhood. I strongly reproved her for it, and I said to her, "All which concerns me gives me no trouble, but I feel such a terrible opposition for your self-love and selfhood, I could not have greater for the Devil." I saw clearly that the Devil could not hurt us, but for our self-love and selfhood ; and I had more aversion and more horror for that self-love and that selfhood than for all the devils. At the beginning I was pained at the opposition I had for this girl, whom I other wise so loved, that it seemed to me I would rather have sent away my own children than get rid of her. Father La Combe, not understanding this, reproved me, and made me suffer much. However, it was not in me from myself, but from God; and when the Father supported her, it made me suffer doubly, for I suffered from the infidelity of the one and the selfhood of the other. Our Lord made me understand that this was not a defect in me, as I persuaded myself; that it was because he gave me the discernment Chap. XVI.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 63 of spirits, and my central depth would reject, or accept, that which was of him, or was not. Since that time, although I have not borne the purifica tion of other souls, as in her case, I nevertheless recognize them not by any light, nor by what they tell me, but by the central depth. It is well to say here that one must not mistake ; and souls which are still in themselves, whatever degree of light and ardour they may have arrived at, should not apply this to themselves. They often think they have this discernment, and it is nothing but the antipathy of nature. It has been seen that our Lord (as I have told) had previously destroyed in me all sorts of natural antipathy. It is necessary that the central depth be annihilated— that it depend on God alone, and that the soul no longer possess herself, for these things to be from God. This lasted three years. In proportion as this soul was purified the pain diminished, until our Lord made me know that her state was about to change, and that he would have the good ness to harmonize her to me. So it suddenly changed. Although I suffered such strange torments for the persons our Lord desired to purify, I did not feel all the perse cutions from without ; and yet they were very violent. The Bishop of Geneva wrote to different kinds of persons : to those who he thought would show his letters to me he spoke well of me, and in the letters which he thought I should not see he wrote much evil. Our Lord permitted that those persons, having mutually shown each other the letters, were indignant at a procedure so contrary to good faith. They sent them to me, that I might be on my guard. I kept them for more than two years; then I burned them, in order not to do harm to that prelate. The strongest battery was that he opened through one of the Ministers, co- Secretary of State, with the brother of the Marquise de Prunai. Moreover, he took all the trouble imaginable to render me an object of suspicion, and to decry 54 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. me. For this he used certain Abbes ; and although I did not go out, and did not show myself, I was well-known from the unflattering portrait the Bishop made of me. It did not make as much impression as it would have done had he stood better with the Court ; but certain letters, which Madame Royale found after the death of the Prince, which he had written him against her, made her for her part attach no weight to what the Bishop of Geneva wrote ; on the con trary, she sent me friendly messages, and invited me to go and see her. I went to pay my respects ; she assured me of her protection, and that she was very glad I was in her State. Our Lord made me know in a dream that he called me to aid my neighbour. Of all the mysterious dreams I have had, there is none made more impression than this, or the unction of which has lasted longer. It seemed to me that, being with one of my friends, we were ascending a great mountain, at the bottom of which was a stormy sea, full of rocks, which had to be crossed before coming to the mountain. This mountain was quite covered with cypresses. When we had ascended it, we found at its top another mountain, surrounded with hedges, that had a locked door. We knocked at it ; but my companion went down again, or remained at the door, for she did not enter with me. The Master came to open the door, which was immediately again shut. The Master was no other than the Bridegroom, who, having taken me by the hand, led me into the wood of cedars. This mountain was called Mount Lebanon. In the wood was a room where the Bridegroom led me, and in the room two beds. I asked him for whom were those two beds. He answered me, There is one for my mother, and the other for you, my Bride. In this room there were animals fierce by nature, and hostile, who lived together in a wonderful manner — the cat played with the bird, and there were pheasants that came to caress me ; the wolf and the lamb lived together. I remembered that prophecy of Chap. XVL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 55 Isaiah, and the room that is spoken of in Canticles. Innocence and candour breathed from the whole place. I perceived in this room a boy of about twelve years of age. The Bridegroom said to him to go and see if there were any persons coming home from the shipwreck. His only duty was to go to the bottom of the mountain to discover if he could see any one. The Bridegroom, turning to me, said, " I have chosen you, my Bride, to bring here to you all who shall have courage enough to pass this terrible sea, and to be there shipwrecked." The boy came to say he did not see any one yet returned from the shipwreck. On that I woke up so penetrated by this dream that its unction remained with me many days. My interior state was continually more firm and immovable, and my mind so clear, that neither distraction nor thought entered it, save those it pleased our Lord to put there. My prayer, still the same — not a prayer which is in me, but in God — very simple, very pure, and very unalloyed. It is a state, not a prayer, of which I can tell nothing, owing to its great purity. I do not think there is anything in the world more simple and more single. It is a state of which nothing can be said, because it passes all expression — a state where the creature is so lost and submerged, that though it be free as to the exterior, for the interior it has absolutely nothing. There fore its happiness is unalterable. All is God, and the soul no longer perceives anything but God. She has no longer any pretence to perfection, any tendency, any partition, any union; all is perfected in unity, but in a manner so free, so easy, so natural, that the soul lives in God and from God, as easily as the body lives from the air it breathes. This state is known of God alone, for the exterior of these souls is very common, and these same souls, which are the delight of God, and the object of his kindness, are often the mark for the scorn of creatures. -n 56 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL CHAPTER XVII. While I was still in Savoy God made use of me to draw to his love a monk of merit, but one who did not even dream of taking the road to perfection. He sometimes accompanied Father La Oombe when he used to come to assist me in my illness, and the thought occurred to me to ask him from our Lord. The evening that I received the Extreme Unction he came near my bed. I said to him that if our Lord had pity on me after my death, he would feel the effects of it. He felt himself internally so touched as to weep; he was one of those who were most opposed to Father La Combe, and he who, without knowing me, had made out the most stories against me. Quite changed, he returned home, and could not help wishing to speak to me again, being extremely moved because he believed I was about to die. He wept so much that the other monks rallied him on it. They said to him, " Can anything be more absurd ? A lady of whom only two days ago you said a thousand bad things, now that she is about to die, you weep for her as if she was your mother ! " Nothing could prevent his weeping, nor take away the desire of again speaking to me. Our Lord heard his wishes, and I grew better. I had time to speak to him. He gave himself to God in an admirable manner, although he was advanced in age. He changed even as to his natural character, which was cunning and insincere, and became simple as a child. Chap. XVII.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 57 He could not call me anything but his mother. He also acquired confidence in Father La Combe, even making his general confession to him. People no longer knew him, and he did not know him self. For many years he was thus disposed to me. One day he exhibited more confidence and friendship than ordinary ; having come a considerable distance expressly to see me and to open his soul to me, he had had a fall from his horse, from which he suffered pain, and had a dangerous swelling, that might be attended by serious consequences owing to the locality of the hurt. He told me he felt great pain, and that he was anxious about the consequences of such a dangerous hurt. I said to him, "You will never be inconvenienced by it." He believed, and was entirely cured, without ever since having felt it. As owing to that he showed me more confidence, he said to me, like St. Peter — I mean no comparison — • " Though all the world should renounce you, I will never renounce you." As soon as he said this, I had a strong movement that he would renounce me and lose hold through want of fidelity, and at the same time it seemed to me that if he sacrificed himself to it and lost the esteem of himself, and of the strength he believed himself to have, this would not happen. I said to him, "My Father, you will renounce me, assuredly you will do it, and you will lose hold." He was vexed with me for this, con tinuing to protest the contrary ; that he was not a child, that no one was more firm and constant than he. The more he protested, the more I had an inward certainty of the contrary. I said to him, " My Father, in the name of God I pray you to sacrifice yourself to him, to renounce me, and to turn against me for some time, if he permits," assuring him that if he did not enter into this disposition of sacrifice, he would infallibly do it. He never would submit to this, and became very grieved because, as he said, I distrusted him. Six months from that he came to 58 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. see me, more affectionate than ever, and said, "You see how false a prophetess you are, and that I am very far from renouncing you." A year after, while I was with Father La Combe, I said to him, Father N is certainly changed, for our Lord has made me feel it. When he gives me any one specially I must always suffer something. 0 my God, how indeed true is it that I have brought forth children only with pain ! But also, when they became unfaithful I felt that they were taken away, and that they were no longer anything to me ; but for those whom our Lord did not remove from me, who were only wavering or unfaithful for a time, for them he made me suffer. I clearly felt that they were unfaithful, but they were not removed from me, and I knew that in spite of their infidelities, they would one day return. When, then, I said to Father La Combe that he was changed — and I had told him more than a year before that he would change — he said to me that it was my imagination. A few days after he received from him a letter full of friendship, and ho said to mo, " See how ho is changed." While reading the letter I had again a very strong certitude that he was changed, and that a remnant of respect and shame made him continue to write thus, and that he would yet do so for some time. It happened exactly ; he continued still for some time forced letters ; then he ceased to write; and Father La Combe learned that the fear of losing certain friends had changed him. There are some for whom our Lord makes me pray, or makes me take some steps to aid them, and others for whom it is not even given me to write a letter to strengthen them. There was one, who was the most violent man in the world, who kept no measure, and was much more of a soldier than a monk. As Father La Combe was his Superior, and tried to gain him both by his words and his example, he could not endure him ; he even broke out in Chap. XVIL] AUTOBIOGEAPHY. 59 great passions against him. When he was saying the Mass in the place where I was, I felt, without knowing him, that he was not in a good state. One day that I saw him pass with the chalice, which he held in his hand to go and say Mass, a great tenderness for him seized upon me, and an assurance that he was changed. I even knew that he was a chosen vessel, whom God had chosen in a special manner. I had to write it to Father La Combe, who sent me word that this was the falsest idea he had yet seen in me, and that he knew no man more ill-disposed than that person ; and he regarded what I had said as the most ridiculous dream that ever was. He was very much surprised when, about fom* or five o'clock in the evening, this Father went to see him in his room, and from the proudest of men, appeared the most gentle. He asked pardon for all the annoyance he had caused him, and said to him with tears, "I am changed, my Father, and I have suffered an utter over throw which I do not understand." He related to him how he had seen the Holy Virgin, who had showed him that he was in a state of damnation, but that she had prayed for him. Father La Combe at once wrote me that what I had told him of a certain Father was indeed true, that he was changed, but changed in a good way, and that he was full of joy at it. I remained all night on the bare ground without sleeping a moment, penetrated with the unction of God's designs for that soul. Some days after, our Lord again made me know the same thing, with much unction, and I was again a night without sleeping, quite full of that sight. I wrote to him the designs which our Lord had for him, and I gave the letter open to Father La Combe to give him. He hesitated some time whether he should give it, not daring so soon to trust him ; but that Father pass ing by at the moment, he could not prevent himself giving it to him. Far from ridiculing it, he was much touched, and resolved to give himself to God utterly. He has a difficulty in breaking away from all his ties, and 60 MADAME GUYON. [Pabt II. seems still divided between God and connections which seem to him innocent, although God gives him many blows to thoroughly subdue him ; but his resistances do not make me lose hope of what he will one day do. Before his change I saw in a dream a number of very beautiful birds that every one was eagerly hunting and desirous of catch ing, and I looked at them all without taking any part in it, and without wishing to catch them. I was very much astonished to see them all come and give themselves up to me, without my making any effort to have them. Among all those who gave themselves up to me, and which were numerous enough, was one of extraordinary beauty, which far surpassed all the others. Everybody was eager to catch that one; after having flown away from all, and from me also as well as the others, he gave in, and gave himself up to me, when I did not expect it. There was one of the others, which, after having come, flew about for a long time, sometimes giving himself, sometimes with drawing ; then he gave himself altogether. This last appeared to me to be the monk of whom I have spoken. Others withdrew altogether. For two nights I had the same dream ; but the beautiful bird which had no fellow is not unknown to me, although he has not yet come. Whether it be before or after my death that he gives himself entirely to God, I am assured that it will take place. While I was with the Marquise de Prunai, undecided whether I should place my daughter at the Visitation of Turin, to go with her, or whether I should take some other step, I was much surprised, when I least expected it, to see Father La Combe arrive from Verceil, and tell me that I must return to Paris without a moment's delay. It was evening. He told me to set out the next morning. I confess this unexpected news surprised me, without, how ever, disturbing me in the very least. It was for me a double sacrifice, to return to a place where I knew I had Chap. XVIL] AUTOBIOGEAPHY. 61 been so grievously decried, to a family which had nothing but scorn for me, and had represented my journey (that necessity alone had forced me to make) as a voluntary tour caused by the human attachment I had for Father La Combe; although it was strictly true that provi dential necessity alone had led me to it. You alone, 0 my God, knew how far we were from such sentiments, and that we were equally ready never to see each other, should it be your will, or to see each other continually should that be your will. 0 God, how little do men comprehend these things, which you yourself do for your glory, and to be the source of an infinity of crosses, that were increasing instead of diminishing. Here, then, was I, without answering a word, ready to set out together with my daughter and a maid-servant, without any person to escort me ; for Father La Combe was resolved not to accompany me, even across the mountains ; because the Bishop of Geneva had written everywhere that I had gone to Turin, running after him. But the Father Provincial, who was a man of quality of Turin, and who knew the virtue of Father La Oombe, told him that I must not be allowed to go among those mountains, especially as I had my daughter with me, without some one I knew, and that he ordered him to accompany me. The Father admitted to me that he had some repugnance, but his duty of obedience and the danger to which I should have been exposed in going alone, made him get over his objections. He was to accompany me as far as Grenoble, and thence return to Turin. I set out then with the intention of going to Paris to suffer all the crosses and submit to all the confusion it might please God to make me suffer. What made me pass by Grenoble was the wish I had to spend two or three days with a great servant of God, a friend of mine. When I was there, Father La Combe and this lady told me to go no further, and that God wished to glorify himself in me and through me in that place. 63 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL Father La Combe returned to Verceil, and I let myself be led by providence, like a child. This worthy Mother at first took me to a widow, not having found room at the inn, and I expected to spend only three days there ; but as they told me to remain at Grenoble, I remained in her house. I placed my daughter in a convent, and resolved to employ all this time in giving myself up in solitude to him who is absolutely master of me. I made no visit in that place, no more than in any of the other places where I had dwelt ; but I was very much surprised when, a few days after my arrival, many persons came to see me, who made profession of being in an especial manner devoted to God. I at once became aware of a gift of God, which had been communi cated to me without my understanding it — namely, the discernment of spirits, and the giving to each what was suitable to him. I felt myself suddenly clothed with an Apostolic state, and I discerned the state of the souls of the persons who spoke to me, and that with such facility that they were astonished, and said one to the other that I gave to each that of which he had need. It was you, 0 my God, who did all these things. They sent each other to me. It reached such a point that ordinarily from six in the morning until eight in the evening I was occupied in speaking of God. People came from all sides, from far and near — monks, priests, men of the world, girls, women, and widows — all came, the one after the other, and God gave me wherewith to satisfy all in an admirable manner, with out my taking any thought, or paying any attention to it. Nothing in their interior state, nor what passed in them, was concealed from me. You made, 0 my God, an infinity of conquests that you alone know. There was given them a surprising facility for prayer, and God gave them great graces and worked marvellous changes. I had a miraculous authority over the bodies and souls of these persons whom our Lord sent to me ; their health and their interior state seemed to be in my hand. The more advanced of those Chap. XVIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 63 souls found near me that, without speech, there was communicated to them a grace which they could not comprehend, nor cease to wonder at. The others found an unction in my words, and that they operated in them what I said to them. They had not, said they, ever seen, or rather, ever experienced anything similar. I saw monks of different orders, and priests of merit, to whom our Lord gave very great graces ; and God gave grace to all, with out exception — at least, to all who came in good faith. What is surprising is, that I had not a word to say to those who came to surprise and to spy on me ; and when I wished to force myself to speak to tbem, besides being unable, I felt that God did not desire it. Some went away, saying, " People are mad to go and see that lady : she cannot speak ; " others treated me as stupid, and I did not know those persons had come to spy on me. But when they had gone out, some one came and said to me, " I was not able to come soon enough to tell you not to speak to those persons ; they came from So-and-so to spy on you, and to catch you." I said to them, " Our Lord has been beforehand with your charity, for I have been unable to say a word to them." I felt that what I said came from the fountain-head, and that I was merely the instrument of him who made me speak. In the midst of this general applause our Lord made mo understand what was the Apostolic state with which he had honoured me, and that to be willing to give one's self up to aid souls in the purity of his Spirit, was to expose one's self to cruel persecutions. These very words were impressed upon me : "To sacrifice yourself to aid your neighbour is to sacrifice yourself to the gibbet. Those who now say of thee, ' Blessed be he who cometh in the name of the Lord,' will soon say, ' Take away ; crucify.' " One of my friends speaking of the general esteem in which I was held, I said to her, " Notice what I say to you this day, that you will hear curses proceed from the same 64 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. mouths which are giving blessings ; " and our Lord made me understand that it was necessary for me to be con formable to him in all states, and that if he had always remained with the Holy Virgin and St. Joseph in an obscure life, he would never have been crucified ; and when he wished to crucify any of his servants in an extraordinary manner, he employed him in the service of his neighbour. It is certain that all the souls who are thus employed by God by an Apostolic destination, and who are truly placed in the Apostolic state, have to suffer extremely. I do not speak of those who intrude themselves into it, and who, not being called there by God in a special manner, and having nothing of the grace of the Apostolate, have also nothing of the crosses of the Apostolate ; but for those who give themselves up to God without any reserve, and who are willing with all their heart to be the plaything of pro vidence without restriction or reserve — ah, as for those, they are assuredly a spectacle for God, for angels and for men: for God, of glory, by the conformity with Jesus Christ ; for angels, of joy ; and for men, of cruelty and disgrace. Chap. XVIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 65 CHAPTER XVIII. Bbfoee I came to Grenoble, on the road, I went into a convent of the nuns of the Visitation. Suddenly I was struck by a picture of Jesus Christ in the garden, with these words : " Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass ; however, your will be done." At once I understood that this was addressed to me, and I sacrificed myself to the will of God. There I experienced a very extraordinary thing ; it is, that among so great a number of souls all good and with grace, and for whom our Lord, through me, did much, some were given me as simple plants to culti vate, in whom I did not feel our Lord desired me to take any interest. I knew their state ; but I did not feel in myself that absolute authority, and they did not in especial manner belong to me. Here I understood better the true maternity. The others were given to me as children, and for these I always had something to pay, and I had authority over their souls and their bodies. Of these children some were faithful, and I knew they would be so, and they were united with me in charity. Others were unfaithful, and I knew that of these last some would never recover from their faithlessness, and they were taken away from me ; as for others, that it would be merely a temporary straying. For both the one and the other I suffered heart-pains that are inconceivable, as if they were VOL. IL p 66 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. boing drawn out of my heart. These are not those heart- pains which are called failure or faintness of the heart. It was a violent pain in the region of the heart, which was yet spiritual, but so violent that it made me cry out with all my strength, and reduced me to my bed. In this state I could not take food, but I had to allow myself to be devoured by a strange pain. When these same children left me, and by cowardice, lack of courage to die to them selves, they gave up everything, they were torn from my heart with much pain. It was then I understood that all the predestinated came forth from the heart of Jesus Christ, and that he gave birth to them on Calvary in pangs that are incon ceivable, and it was for this reason he wished his heart to be opened externally, to show that there was the fountain whence came forth all the predestinated. 0 heart which has brought me forth, it will be in thee we shall be received for ever ! Our Lord, amongst so many who followed him, had so few true children. It is for that reason he said to his Father, " I have lost none of those whom thou hast given me, except the son of perdition," making us thereby see that he did not lose, not only any of the Apostles, although they made so many false steps, but even of those whom he was about to bring forth on Calvary by the opening of his heart. 0 my Love, I can say that you have made me a participator in all your mysteries, making me experience them in an ineffable manner. I was then associated in this divine maternity in Jesus Christ, and it has been that which caused me most suffering; for two hours of this suffering changed me more than several days' continued fever. I have sometimes so borne these pains as for two or three days to cry out with all my strength, " The heart ! " The maid who attended me saw that the ailment was not natural, but she did not know what caused it. If we could understand the least of the pangs we have cost Jesus Christ, we should be in amazement. Chap. XVIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 67 Amongst the various monks who came to see me, there was one order which felt more than any other the effects of grace ; and it was some members of this very order who had been to a small town where Father La Combe had held a mission, and by a false zeal troubled all the worthy souls who had given themselves sincerely to God, tormenting them inconceivably, burning all their books which spoke of prayer, refusing absolution to those who used it, throwing into consternation, and even despair, those who had with drawn from a criminal life and preserved themselves in grace by means of prayer, and lived in a perfect manner. Those monks proceeded to such excess in their indiscreet zeal that they caused a sedition in the town, and in the open street they had a respectable and meritorious Father of the Oratory beaten with sticks, because he used prayer at evening, and on Sundays made a short and fervent prayer, which insensibly accustomed those good souls to use prayer. I have never in my life had so much consolation as in seeing in that little town so many good souls who vied with each other in giving themselves to God with their whole heart. There were young girls of twelve and thirteen years of age, who worked all day in silence in order to converse with God, and who had acquired a great habit of it. As they were poor girls, they joined in couples ; and those who knew how to read, read out something to those who could not read. It was a revival of the innocence of the early Christians. There was a poor washerwoman, who had five children and a husband paralysed in the right arm, but more halt in his spirit than in his body : he had no strength except to beat her. Nevertheless, this poor woman, with the sweetness of an angel, endured it all, and gained subsistence for that man and her five children. This woman had a wonderful gift of prayer, preserving the presence of God and equanimity in the greatest miseries and the most extreme poverty. There was also the wife 68 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. of a shopkeeper greatly influenced by God, and the wife of a locksmith. They were three friends. Both of them sometimes read for that washerwoman, and they were surprised how she was instructed by our Lord in all they read for her, and how she spoke of it divinely. These monks sent for this woman, and threatened her if she would not give up prayer, saying it was only for monks, and that she was very audacious to use prayer. She answered them — or, rather, he who taught her, for she was in herself very ignorant — that our Lord had told all to pray ; and that he had said, " I say unto you all," not specifying either priests or monks ; that without prayer she could never support the crosses, nor the poverty she was in ; that she had formerly been without prayer, and she was a demon ; and that since she used it, she had loved God with all her heart ; and therefore to give up prayer was to renounce her salvation, which she never could do. She added, let them take twenty persons who have never used prayer, and twenty of of those who use it; then, said she, make yourselves acquainted with their lives, and you will see if you have reason in condemning prayer. Such words as those from a woman of that condition ought to have convinced them ; they only served to embitter them. They assured her she should not have absolution unless sho promised to givo up prayer. She said it did not depend on her, and that our Lord was the Master to communicate himself to his creature, and to do what pleased him. They refused her absolution; and after having gone so far as to abuse a worthy tailor, who served God with all his heart, they had brought to them all the books which treated of prayer, without any exception, and themselves burned them in the public place. They were greatly puffed up with their expedition; but the town rose up because of the blows given to the Father of the Oratory ; and the principal men went to the Bishop of Geneva, to tell him the scandal created by these new missionaries, so different from the Chap. XVIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 69 others, alluding to Father La Combe, who had on another occasion been there on a mission ; and it was said that the only object of sending these last was to destroy the work he had done. The Bishop of Geneva was obliged himself to come to that town, and to get into the pulpit, protesting that he had no part in it — that the Fathers had pushed their zeal too far. The monks, on the other hand, said that they had done everything under orders. There were also at Tonon girls who had withdrawn together into retirement ; they were poor village girls, who, in order the better to gain their subsistence and serve God, had several in number joined together. There was one who read from time to time, while the others worked; and they never went out without asking leave to go out from the senior. They made ribbons ; they spun and gained a livelihood, each in her own trade : the strong supported the weak. These poor girls were separated, and others also, and dis persed among several villages ; they drove them away from the Church. It was, then, monks of this same order of whom our Lord made use to establish prayer in I know not how many places, and they carried a hundred times more books on prayer into the places where they went than their brothers had burnt. God appears to me won derful in these things. I had then opportunity of knowing these monks in the way which I am about to tell. One day that I was ill a friar, who is well versed in the treatment of sick persons, came begging, and having learnt I was ill, came in. Our Lord made use of him to give me the proper remedies for my illness, and permitted that we entered into a conversation, which woke up in him the love which he had for God, and which was, according to him, stifled by his important occupations. I made him understand that there is no occupation which could hinder him from loving God, or thinking of him. He had no trouble in believing me, having already much piety and disposition for spiritual religion. Our Lord showed him 70 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL great grace, and gave him to me as one of my true children. What is admirable is, that all those whom our Lord has given me in this way, I felt that he accepted them in me to be my children ; for it is he who accepts them, and who gives them. I only bring them forth upon the cross, as he has brought forth all the predestinated on the cross ; and it is further in this sense that he makes me " fill up what remains wanting of his passion," which is the application of the divine filiation. 0 goodness of a God, to associate poor petty creatures in such great mysteries ! When our Lord gives me some children of this kind, he gives them, without my having ever exhibited anything of this, very great inclination for me ; and without themselves knowing why or how, they cannot help calling me their mother — a thing which has happened to many persons of merit, priests, monks, pious girls, and even to an ecclesiastical dignitary, who all, without my having ever spoken to them, regard me as their mother — and our Lord has had the goodness to accept them in me, and to give them the same graces as if I was in the habit of seeing them. One day a person who was in a very trying state, and in manifest danger, without thinking what she did, cried aloud, "My mother, my mother ! " thinking of me. She was at once delivered, with a fresh certainty that I was her mother, and that our Lord would have the goodness to succour her in all her needs through me. Many whom I knew only by letters, have seen me in dreams answer all their difficulties, and those who are more spiritual took part in the conversation, or intimate union of unity; but these last are few in number, who at a distance have no need for letters nor for discourses to understand; the others are interiorly nourished from the grace which our Lord abundantly communicates to them through me, feeling themselves filled from that outflow of grace. For when our Lord honours a soul with spiritual fecundity, and associates her in his maternity, he gives her Chap. XVIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 71 what is necessary to nourish and sustain her children according to their degree. It is in this way that, willing to bring forth all the predestinated, he gives them his flesh to eat. It is for this reason those who eat his flesh and drink his blood dwell in him and he in them, and they are thereby made his children ; but those who do not eat the flesh cannot be his children, because they are not associated in the divine filiation, the new bond of which is effected in his blood, at least, unless by their conversion at death the efficacy of that blood be applied to them. It is true that to the holy Anchorites the Word communicated himself from the centre, and gave them through the central depth the food of angels, which is no other than himself as Word, although they may have been unable to eat his flesh with the bodily mouth. I say, then, that when Jesus Christ associates any one in spiritual maternity he provides a means of com municating himself ; and it is this communication of pure spirit which forms the nourishment and essential support of souls, but a sustenance which they taste, and which they find by experience to be all they need. I know that I shall not be understood, for only experience can make this in telligible. I was sometimes so full of these pm-e and divine communications, which flow out from "that fountain of living water which shall spring up to eternal life," mentioned by St. John the Evangelist, that I used to say, " 0 Lord, give me hearts on whom I may discharge from my abundance, otherwise I must die," for these outflowings from the Divinity into the centre of my soul were some times so powerful that they reacted even on the body, so that I was ill from it. When some of those whom our Lord had given me as children approached, or he gave me new ones in whom grace was already strong, I felt myself gradually relieved, and they experienced in themselves an inconceivable plenitude of grace and a greater gift of prayer, which was communicated to them according to 72 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. their degrees ; and it surprised them much at the commence ment, but afterwards by their experience they understood this mystery, and they felt a great need of me ; and when necessity separated me from them, or — as I have said — I was unacquainted with them, from not having seen them, things were communicated to them from a distance. Chap. XIX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 73 CHAPTER XIX. There were some worthy girls here who were specially given to me, in particular one, and over her I had great power, both over her soul and her body, to establish her health. At the commencement, when this girl came to me, she felt a great attraction to come, and our Lord gave her through me all she had need of ; but as soon as she was at a distance, the Devil excited in her mind a frightful aversion to me, so that when it was necessary for her to come and see me, it was with repugnance and terrible efforts that she did it, and sometimes when half way she turned back through faithlessness, not having the courage to continue ; but as soon as she was faithful to persist she was delivered from her trouble. When she came near me it all vanished, and with me she experienced that abundance of grace which has been brought to us by Jesus Christ. It was a soul greatly influenced by God from her childhood, to whom our Lord had given much grace, and whom he had led with great gentleness. One day she was with me I had a movement to tell her she was about to enter on a serious trial. She entered on it the next day in a very violent manner. The Devil put into her mind a terrible aversion to me. She loved me by grace, and hated me through the impression, which in a strange manner the Devil made on her ; but as soon as she came near me he fled, and left her in quiet. He put into her 74 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. mind that I was a sorceress, and that it was by this means I drove off the devils, and that I told her what was about to happen, in consequence of which things hap pened as I had told them to her. She had a continual vomiting, and when I told her not to vomit, and to retain the food, she retained it. One day before entering on the trial which I shall tell, she came to see me in the morning (because it was vaj fete), intending to come to Mass with me, and to communicate. She could hardly speak to me, such was her then aversion for me, and the Devil did not wish her to tell it, lest I should drive him off. He closed her mouth, and put into her mind that all I said or did was by sorcery. As she did not say a word, I knew her trouble, and I told it to her. She acknowledged it. When I was in the church I said to her : If it is through the Devil I act upon you, I give him the power to torment you; but if it is another spirit who possesses me, I will that during the Mass you participate in that spirit. The little time we were there before they commenced the Mass, the Devil made use of his interval, and more forcibly im pressed on her that I was a sorceress, and it was this which made me act, and that she saw how she was worse since I had said that to her. While she was in the crisis of her pain, and an aversion to me that amounted to rage, the Mass commenced. As soon as the priest made the sign of the cross, she entered into a heavenly peace, and so great a union with God, that she knew not whether she was on earth, or in heaven. We communicated in the same manner, and she was saying to herself during this time, " Oh, how certain I am it is God who moves and leads her ! " After the Mass was over, she said to me, " 0 my mother, how have I felt what God is in you ! I have been in Paradise." These are her words. But as I had only said " until after Mass," the Devil came to attack her with more rage than before. The greatest mischief he did was hindering her froin Chap. XIX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 75 telling me her state, for although our Lord made me well enough acquainted with it, he yet wished her to tell it to me. She was very ill ; she thought she had an abscess, and the faints she fell into, joined to a pain of the head, made the doctor think so. She believed that when I touched the place on her side the abscess broke ; but our Lord gave me no knowledge that it was so. I said nothing to her about it, and I have not attached faith to it, although she tried to persuade me ; but what is certain is that our Lord made use of me many times to cure her. The Devil attacked her violently, and not being content alone, he took as allies a fine gang, and caused her much trouble. I drove him away when I had the movement for it, or I handed her over as I had done before, according as our Lord inspired me ; but always as soon as she approached me and kept herself in silence to receive grace, he left her in repose. In my absence he thought he would be revenged to his full ; as many as sixteen of them came to torment her. She wrote it to me. I told her when they came to torment her more violently, to threaten them that she would write to me. They left her for moments. Then I forbade them for a time to approach her, and when they presented themselves at a distance she _ said to them, " My mother has told me that you should leave me in quiet until she permits it." They did not approach her. At last I forbade them once for all, and they left her in quiet. She was faithless to God, and practised on me evasions and deceptions, which only came from self- love. I at once felt it, and that my central depth rejected her, not that she ceased for that to be among the number of my children ; but it is that our Lord could not endure her deception or her duplicity. The more she concealed things, the more our Lord made me know them, and the more he rejected her from my central depth. I saw, or rather, I experienced therein, how God rejects the sinner from his bosom, and especially those who act with 76 MADAME GUYON. [Pabt IL concealment and deceit; that it is not God who rejects them, by a volition of rejecting them, or by hatred, but by necessity, owing to their sin ; that in God the unchange- ableness of love is entire for the sinner, so that as all the cause of that rejection is in the sinner, God cannot receive him into himself or into his grace until the cause of this rejection cease. Now, this cause does not subsist in the effect of the sin, but in the will and inclination of the sinner; so that as soon as this will and inclination ceases on the side of the sinner, however foul and horrible he may be, God purifies him by his charity and his love, and receives him into his grace ; but as long as there remains in the man the will of sin, although from power- lessness or lack of opportunity he does not commit the sin he wills, it is certain he would be rejected from God, owing to this perverse will. It must be understood that the rejec tion does not come from a will in God to reject this sinner, "for his will is that all should be saved," and that they should be received into him, who is their Origin and their End; but the indisposition which the sinner contracts, which is entirely opposed to God, and which he cannot, God though he be, receive into himself without destroying himself, causes a necessary rejection on the part of God of that sinner, who returns into his proper place (which is no other than God) as soon as the cause of this rejection ceases. It is for this reason the Scripture says, "Turn unto me, I will return unto you ; " cease to will that sin which obliges me, in spite of my love, to reject you, and I will return to you, to take you, and draw you to me, far from rejecting you. When this sinner is rejected by God, as I have said, because the matter of his rejection subsists, he can never be admitted into grace until the cause ceases, which is in the will to sin. However disorderly and however abomin able the sinner may have been, he ceases to be a sinner as soon as he ceases to will to be so : for all rebellion is in Chap. XIX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 77 the will. This rebellious will causes all the incongruity, and hinders God from acting on this sinner ; but as soon as the sinner ceases to be rebellious, in ceasing to will sin, God by an infinite goodness incessantly works to purify him from the filth and the consequences of the sin, in order to make him fit to be received into himself. If all the life of this sinner pass in falling and getting up again, all the operation of God on this same sinner during all his life will be to purify him from the fresh stains which he contracts, and nothing will be done for his perfection. But if this sinner dies during the time that his will is rebellious, and turned towards sin, as death fixes for ever the disposition of the soul, and the cause of his impurity is still subsisting, this soul can never be purified by the charity of God, and can consequently never be received into him ; so that his rejection is eternal. And this re jection is the pain of damnation, for this soul necessarily tends to her Centre, owing to her nature, and is continually rejected from it, owing to her impurity subsisting in the cause, and not merely in the effect. For if it subsisted only in the effect, as I shall immediately tell, it would be purified ; but her sin being still subsisting in the cause, which is the rebellious will, it is utterly impossible for God to purify the sinner after his death ; because he can only purify the effect and not the cause, as long as it subsists. Now, as it is rendered subsisting and immortal by the death of the sinner, it is of necessity that the sinner should be eternally rejected, owing to the absolute oppo sition there is between essential purity and essential impurity. No ; God, all God though he be, cannot admit a sinner into his grace as long as his sin subsists in the cause, which is rebellion to God, because he cannot ever be purified as long as the cause subsists. It is the same in this life. But as soon as the cause is removed, and no longer subsists, the sin is no longer subsisting, but in its effect, and thus this sinner can be purified, and God 78 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. works at this from the moment the cause no longer sub sists, for that cause absolutely hinders God from working, the sinner being then in actual revolt. But if this sinner dies penitent — that is to say, that the cause, which is the will to sin, is removed, and only the effect remains, which is the impurity caused by sin — however horrible and filthy the sinner may be, he ceases to be a sinner, although he does not cease to be filthy. He is then in a state to be purified. God, by an infinite charity, has provided a bath of love and justice, but a painful bath, to purify this soul, and that bath is Purgatory, which is not in itself painful, yet is so in the cause of the pain, which is impurity. Were this cause removed, which is nothing else than sin in its effect, the soul, being quite purified, would suffer nothing in that place of love. Now, God rejects from his grace the cause of the sin, that is the rebellious will, and he rejects from himself the damned owing to his impurity, which causes that not only can he not be received into God, but he cannot be received into his grace, owing to the rebellion of the will, entirely opposed to grace. It is not the same with the soul in Purgatory, who, having no longer the cause of sin, that is, the rebellion, is admitted into the grace of God, but she cannot for that be received into God until all impurity, the effect of sin, is removed ; so that the pain of damnation and of the senses both proceed from her impurity and incon gruity; as soon, however, as all impurity is removed, accord ing as it pleases God to give a degree of glory to this soul, then she ceases to be rejected from God, and to suffer. There are, however, souls who die so pure that they do not suffer the pain of the senses, only some retardation. I have explained it elsewhere, therefore will not say any thing of it here. Now, I say that in this life it is quite the same ; souls are received into grace as soon as the cause of sin ceases, but they are not received into God until all effect of sin is Chap. XIX.] AUTOBIOGEAPHY. 79 purified. If one continually defiles himself, or also, if being defiled, one has not the courage to allow himself to be purified by God as much as he wishes, one never enters into God in this life. Those souls who have not the courage to allow God to act are not thoroughly purified in this life, because these purifications are effected only by Ipain and overthrow, and this it is which makes many holy knd wonderful souls still need Purgatory ; for it must be known there are in us two things which need purifying : the effect of sin, and the cause of sin. I have said that those who die have subsisting in them only that which is there at their death. If they die in grace, their will not being rebellious, they no longer have the cause of sin, and cannot have it, since their will remains fixed in good. It is not the same on earth with a man who is not confirmed in charity; for, not being in the immovable, he can always change, and his will may rebel until it dies and passes into that which renders it immovable. It is, therefore, necessary on the earth for God to purify not only the impurity and the remains of sin, but also the cause in its source, which is that root of sin, that leaven, that ferment, which may always give birth to it, and render our will rebellious, and consequentlj' make us fall from grace, that is, the SELFHOOD. And herein is that radical purification of our nature, ever disposed to revolt, which God desires to purify in this life, and which he effectively purifies in the souls, that he wills not only to receive into his grace, but into himself. He purifies them not merely from the effect of sin, but from the radical cause, from that leaven, from that ferment, which always may make the will revolt ; and this is effected only by the death of the soul through her annihilation, which is attended by extreme pains, and by the loss of all. It is for this reason that an extraordinary courage is needed to pass into God in this life, and to be annihilated to the necessary point, losing all that is "oivn." Therefore the 80 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. souls truly "transformed into him," as St. Paul says, who are transformed, not merely in grace, but into him self, are more rare than I can tell. To return to my subject. I say, this girl was rejected from my central depth ; the cause was subsisting in her, not in my will. I experienced that she was still held to me by a certain bond, as the sinner to hia God, which renders it possible for him always to be received into him in this life, as soon as the cause of the rejection ends. God incessantly solicits that will to cease to be rebellious, and he spares nothing on his side, but it is free ; yet grace never fails, for as soon as the will ceases to rebel, it finds grace at its door, quite ready to give itself. Oh, if people conceived the goodness of God, and the wickedness of the sinner, they would be surprised, and it should make us die of love. I felt then how this girl, and many other souls, were bound to me by a link of filiation, but I could no longer communicate myself to this girl as I did before, owing to the want of simplicity, which was not in fleeting matters, but in her will to dissemble, and that it was impossible for that flow of grace to take place until this subsisting voluntary dissimulation was destroyed. I said to her what I could, but she dissimulated afresh to conceal her dissimulation, so that this caused God to reject her still more in me, and she became more opposed to me ; not that I ceased to love her, for I knew well that I loved her, but it was she who caused her rejection, which could be ended only by her. 0 God, how admirable are you, to be willing to give petty creatures the knowledge by experience of your most profound secrets ! What I ex perienced with this girl I have experienced with many souls : I have given this as an example. Father La Combe was not yet in a state to discern these things, and I could not explain them to him, except by saying that this person was artful and dissembling ; but he took it in the sense of virtues, with which I had no longer anything Chap. XIX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 81 to do, and he told me I formed rash judgments. I did not even understand what was a rash judgment — all that was far removed from my mind ; and I remember that once, when I was in Piedmont, he wanted to make me confess it. I did so because he told me, and thereby suffered in conceivable torments; for our Lord was angry because they regarded that in me as a defect, in place of regarding it in him, the Supreme Truth, who judges things not as man judges, but who sees them as they are. Father La Combe made me suffer much in regard to this person ; he was, however, himself enlightened, our Lord making him see falsities and manifest duplicity. Before my arrival at Grenoble, the lady, my friend, saw in a dream that our Lord gave me an infinity of children : they were all children and small, clothed in the same way, bearing on their dresses the marks of their candour and innocence. She thought I was coming there to take charge of the children of the Hospital, for the meaning was not given to her; but as soon as she related it to me, I understood it was not this ; that our Lord by spiritual fecundity meant to give me a great number of children, that they would be my true children only by simplicity and candour, and that he would draw them through me into innocence. Therefore there is nothing I have so much opposition to as trickery and duplicity. I have wandered far from what I com menced ; but I am not my own mistress. VOL. II. 82 MADAME GUYON. [Part FP CHAPTER XX. This worthy friar of whom I have spoken, and who had already previously received from God sufficient grace to dispose him to spiritual views, though for want of help and, perhaps, of faithfulness, he had not advanced — this good friar, I say, felt himself led to open his heart to me like a child. Our Lord gave me all that was necessary for him, so that, not being able to doubt the impression of his grace, he said to me, without knowing what he was saying, " You are my true mother." From that time our Lord had the goodness to show him much mercy through this petty nothing, and I felt indeed that he was my son, and one of the most united and faithful. Whenever he came to see me, our Lord showed him fresh mercies, and he used to go away full, strengthened, encouraged to die really to himself, and certified of the power of God in me, which he experienced with his dependence. Our Lord gradually taught him to speak in silence, and to receive grace without the intervention of words ; but this took effect in him only in proportion as he died to himself. Our Lord had promised that where several should be assembled in his name, he would be in the midst of them. It is in this way the promise takes effect very really. As he was already far advanced in prayer, and was only arrested and retarded, he was soon re-established. In proportion as his soul advanced so as to be able to Chap. XX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 83 remain in silence before God, and the Word operated in him in this silence — which is fruitful and full, not a mere indolence, as those who have not experienced it imagine — he increased in grace and prayer. 0 immediate speech, ineffable speech, who say everything without articulating anything, who are the expression of what you say ! He who has not experienced you knows nothing, however wise he may think himself. It is in you is the source of all knowledge, and when you are in plenitude in a soul, what is she ignorant of? In proportion, then, as the Word communicated himself to him in silence ineffable, it was given him in silence to communicate with me, and to re ceive through me in silence the operations of the Divine Word — operations which he could not be ignorant of, for the plenitude became in him more abundant ; like a sluice opened up which profusely discharges itself, and that with such force and such grace in well-disposed souls, that a river does not run with greater impetuosity. But, alas, how few souls there are pure enough for it to pass thus in them ! This plenitude which he continually received, emptied him more of himself, and put him into a state of greater silence before God and profounder death and separation from all things. The more he died to every thing, the more he was inclined towards God and towards me. 0 my God, I understood so well that it is in this manner you communicate yourself profusely to those souls, who are entirely yours ; it is in these souls that your grace flows as a river, and it is in them that you become a " spring of water springing up unto life eternal," and that with such abundance that there is enough to fill an infinity of hearts, each according to his degree, without ceasing to be full. It was that plenitude, great and unrivalled, with which the angel saluted the Holy Virgin. She was in such perfect plenitude that she flowed out and will flow out eternally into all the saints as their Hierarchic Queen, and it is in this sense that all the graces which 84 MADAME GUYON. [Pabt H. God gives men pass all through Mary. What abundance do not you experience, you who communicate to all, and who are the first receptacle, who, overflowing from your plenitude, furnish to other souls all that is needed for them! 0 wonderful Hierarchy, which commences in this life to continue through all eternity ! Yes, there is a Hierarchy among the Saints as among the angels, and those who shall have served as a channel in their plenitude to water other souls will so serve through all eternity in Hierarchic manner. And it is in this sense that the divine Eve is mother of all living, since there will be an outflow from her plenitude into the souls of all those who will live by grace, greater or less, according as the hearts are more disposed, more extended and dilated to receive from that plenitude and superabundance. It needs a great largeness and extent of soul to receive much and enough to give to others. Those who are dead through sin receive nothing from this plenitude of life, and that is the reason they are dead; because all the passages by which life might flow into them are stopped ; but for souls living in charity, they all receive of that plenitude, more or less according as they are more or less disposed by purity and largeness of soul. The good friar then received in this way, as well as many others of my spiritual children ; for what I say of him, I say of many others, but I give him as an example. He was also given the means of aiding other souls, not in silence, but by words; for as to the communication in silence, those who are in a state to receive are not thereby in a state to com municate : there is a long road to travel before. Father La Combe communicated and received, as I have said ; but as for the others, they received without communicating. This same worthy friar had occasion to bring to me some of his companions, and God took them all for himself. Not that they were my children, as he was ; they were only Chap. XX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 85 conquests. And it was at the very time God was giving me these worthy monks, that the other monks of the same order were committing the ravages of which I have spoken, and endeavouring to destroy spiritual religion. I marvelled how our Lord compensated himself on these worthy monks — in pouring out his Spirit upon them with fulness — for what the others tried to make him lose, but without much effect ; for those other good souls which were persecuted were strengthened by the persecution, instead of being shaken. The Superior and the master of the novices of the House where this worthy friar was declared against me without knowing me, and were vexed that a woman, they said, should be so sought after. As they regarded things in themselves and not in God, who does what he pleases, they had only scorn for the gift which was contained in so miserable a vessel, in place of esteeming only God and his grace, without regard to the baseness of the subject in which he pours it out. This worthy friar contrived that his Superior came to thank me for the charities, he said, that I gave them. Our Lord permitted that he found in my conversation something which pleased him. At last he was completely gained over, and it was he who, being made Visitor some time afterwards, distributed so great a quantity of those books, which they, out of extreme charity, purchased at their expense, and which the others had tried to destroy by causing them even to be burnt. How admirable are you, 0 my God, in your conduct, all wise and all loving, and how well you know how to triumph over the false wisdom of men and over all their precautions ! In the Noviciate there were several novices. He who was the senior of them was so disgusted with his vocation that he did not know what to do. The temptation was Buch that he could neither read, nor study, nor pray, nor perform almost any of his duties. The begging friar, one day that he acted as his companion, had a movement to 86 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. bring him to me. We talked a little together, and our Lord made me discover the cause of his trouble and the remedy. I told it to him, and he set himself to pray, but a prayer of affection. He suddenly changed, and our Lord gave him great grace. In proportion as I spoke to him, an effect of grace was produced in his heart, and his soul opened herself like a parched land to the dew. He felt he was changed and freed from his trouble before leaving the room. He performed at once with joy, and even to perfection, all his exercises, which previously he performed with disgust, or did not perform at all. He studied and prayed with ease, and discharged all his duties, so that he no longer knew himself, nor did the others. But what astonished him more was a germ of life which had remained with him, and a gift of prayer. He saw that there was given to him without trouble what previously he could not have, whatever trouble he took ; and that vivifying germ was the principle which made him act, and gave him grace for his occupations and a root of God's presence, which brought with it all good. He gradually brought to me all the novices, who all felt the effects of grace, but differently and according to their degree; so that never did Noviciate appear more flourishing. The Father, who was master, and the Superior, could not help wondering at so great a change in their novices, although they did not penetrate the cause ; and one day as they spoke of it to the begging friar, and said to him — for they had him in- great esteem, being men of merit and virtue — that they were surprised by the change in the novices, and the blessing that the Lord had given to their Noviciate, he said to them, "My Fathers, if you permit me, I will tell you the cause. It is that lady, against whom you cried out so strongly without knowing her, of whom God has made use for this." They were very much surprised, and that Father, although very aged, had the humility, as well as his Guardian, to use prayer Chap. XX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 87 in the way taught in a little book which our Lord had made me compose, and of which I shall speak immediately. They so much profited by it that the Guardian said, " I am a new man. I could not pray because my reasoning was dulled and exhausted, and now I do it without trouble as much as I wish, with much fruit and a quite different presence of God." The other Father said to him, " For forty years I am a monk, and I can say that I have never known how to pray, nor known and tasted God until this time." As my true children I had only the first of the novices of whom I have spoken, the begging friar, and another Father, nephew of the begging friar. There were many others won for God in a special manner. I saw clearly that they were gained, but I did not feel in their case that maternity and that inward flowing out of which I have spoken, although they were, however, our Lord's through my means. I do not know if I can make myself understood. Our Lord gave me a very great number of children, and three famous monks, from an order by which I have been, and am still, much persecuted. These are very closely bound to me, especially one. He made me help a great number of nuns and virtuous girls, and even men of the world, among others a young man of rank, who has given himself to God, and is his in a very special manner. He is a man very spiritually minded, and who, while married, is very holy. Our Lord sent me also an Abbe of rank, who had left the Order of Malta, to take up that of the priesthood. He was relative of a Bishop of that neighbourhood, who had plans for him. Our Lord gave him great grace, and he is very faithful to prayer. I could not write the great number of souls then given to me — maids and wives, monks and priests ; but there were three cures, and one canon, who were more especially given to me, and a grand vicar. There was also a priest who was given to me very intimately, for whom I suffered 88 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. much ; but as he was not willing to die to himself, and too much loved himself, he was entirely torn away from me, and I suffered terribly. I suffered before he was torn from me, and I knew by my suffering that he was about to be torn from me, and to fall. As for the others, some remained unshaken, and others were a little shaken by the tempest, but they are not torn away : although these stray, they still return ; but those who are torn away never return. Among the great number of persons whom our Lord caused me to aid, and who all entered on the way of spirituality, and gave themselves particularly to God, there were some who were given to me as true daughters, and all recognized me as their mother, and of these last some were in a state to remain in silence : but that was rare. There was one whom our Lord made use of to gain many others to him. She was in a strange state of death when I saw her. Our Lord gave her peace and life. She afterwards fell sick to death, and although the doctors said she would die, I had a certainty to the contrary, and that God would make use of her, as he did, to gain souls. There was in a convent a girl whom people without light had caused to be confined because she was in trouble. I saw her ; I understood her distress, and that she was not what she was thought to be. As soon as I had spoken to her she was restored ; but the Prioress was displeased at my telling her my thoughts, because the person who for want of light had reduced her to that state was her own friend. So that they tormented her more than before, and threw her back into her trouble. A Sister of another convent was for eight years in an inconceivable trouble without finding any one to relieve her ; for her director increased it by giving her remedies quite unsuited to her disease. I had never been in that convent, as I used not to go to convents unless I was Bent for. Our Lord gave me no inclination nor movement Chap. XX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 89 to thrust myself in of myself ; but I used to allow myself to be led by providence, and to go where I was sent for. I was very much surprised, when, at eight in the evening, I was sent for by the Prioress. It was in summer, and the days long. As I was very near I went at once. I found a Sister who told me her trouble, and that she had been driven to such a point that she had taken a knife to kill herself, seeing no other remedy ; but that the knife had fallen from her hand, and a person who had been to see her, without her disclosing the nature of the trouble, had advised her speak to me. Our Lord made me recognize at once what the matter was, and that he wished her to abandon herself to him, instead of resisting him, as they had made her do for eight years. I made her give herself up to our Lord, and she entered at once into a heavenly peace ; all her pains were taken away in a moment, and since that time have never returned. She is the most capable girl in that House. She was at once so changed that she was the admiration of the community. Our Lord gave her a very great gift of prayer, his constant presence and ability for everything. She was given to me as a daughter ; and a Sister, who was servant, a very holy woman, troubled for twenty-two years, was also delivered from her pain. This caused a friendship to be formed between the Prioress and me (and in her manner she was a very holy person), because the change and the peace of that Sister surprised her, having seen her in such terrible pains. I formed yet other connections in that convent, where there are souls to whom our Lord has shown great mercies through the means he had chosen. 90 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. CHAPTER XXI. You were not content, my God, with making me speak, you further gave me an impulse to read the Holy Scripture. There was a time that I did not read, for I found in myself no want to fill up ; on the contrary, rather too great a plenitude. As soon as I commenced reading the Holy Scripture, it was given me to write out the passage I read, and immediately the explanation of it was given to me. In writing out the passage I had not the least thought on the explanation, and as soon as it was written out it was given to me to explain it, writing with inconceivable quickness. Before writing I did not know what I was going to write ; while writing I saw that I was writing things I had never known, and during the time of the manifestation light was given me that I had in me treasures of knowledge and understanding that I did not know myself to possess. As soon as I had written I remembered nothing whatever of what I had written, and there remained to me neither species nor images. I could not have made use of what I had written to aid souls ; but our Lord gave me while I spoke to them (without my paying any attention to it) all that was necessary for them. In this way our Lord made me explain all the Holy Scripture. I had no book except the Bible, and that alone I used without searching for anything. When, in writing on the Old Testament, I took passages from the New to support what I was saying, it was not that Chap. XXL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 91 I sought them out, but they were given to me at the same time as the explanation ; and exactly the same with the New Testament. I there made use of passages from the Old, and they were given to me without my searching for anything. I had no time to write except at night, for I had to speak all day, without reflection any more for speaking than for writing, and as little careful of my health, or of my life, as of myself. I used to sleep only one or two hours every night, and with that almost every day I had fever, ordinarily a quartan, and yet I continued to write without inconvenience, without troubling myself whether I should die or live. He whose I was without any reserve did with me as he pleased, without my meddling in his work. You yourself, 0 my God, used to wake me up, and I owed such an entire dependence and obedience to your will that you were not willing to suffer the least natural movement. When the least thing mingled therewith you punished it, and it ceased at once. You made me write with such a purity that I had to stop and begin again as you wished. You tried me in every way ; suddenly you made me write, then stop immediately, and again begin. When I wrote by day I was suddenly interrupted, and often left words half written, and you gave me afterwards what you pleased. What I wrote was not in my head; my head was so free that it was a perfect vacuum. I was so detached from what I wrote that it seemed strange to me. A reflection occurred to me : I was punished for it ; my writing at once dried up, and I remained like a fool until I was enlightened thereon. The least joy in the graces you gave me was very rigorously punished. All the faults which are in my writings come from this, that, not being accustomed to the operation of God, I was often unfaithful : thinking I was doing well in continuing to write when I had the time without having the movement for it, because I had been ordered to finish the work; so that it is easy to see passages which are 92 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. beautiful and sustained, and others which have neither taste nor unction. I have left them as they are in order that people may see the difference between the Spirit of God and the natural human spirit ; being, however, ready to correct them according to the present light which is given me, in case I am ordered to do so. Previous to this time what test did you not make of my abandonment ? Did you not give me a hundred different aspects to see if I was yours without reserve, under every test, and if I had yet some little interest for myself ? You still found this soul supple and pliable to all your wishes. What have you not made me suffer ? Into what humiliation did you not cast me to counterbalance your graces ? To what, my God, did you not deliver me, and by what painful straits did you not make me pass ? That which before I could not touch with the tip of my finger became my ordinary food. But I was not troubled at all that you did to me. I saw with pleasure and complaisance — taking no more interest in myself than in a dead dog — I saw, I say, with complaisance your divine play. You lifted me up to heaven, then immediately you cast me down into the mud, then with the same hand you replaced me in the place from which you had cast me down. I saw that I was the sport of your love and of your will, the victim of your divine justice, and all was alike to me. It seems to me, 0 my God, that you treat your dearest friends as the sea does its waves. It drives them at times with impetuosity against the rocks, where they are broken; at other times against the sand or the mud, and then immediately it receives back into its bosom and buries there that wave with so much the more force as it had with greater impetuosity cast it forth. This is the play which you make of your friends who, nevertheless, are one in you, changed and transformed into yourself, although you make a continual play of casting them off and receiving them back into your bosom ; like as the waves are a part Chap. XXL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 93 of the sea, and after a wave has been thrown forward with greater impetuosity, the gulf which swallows it up is deeper in proportion. 0 my God, what things I should have to tell I but I am not able to say anything of the operations of your just and beneficent love, because they are too subtle. This love delights in making those whom it has made one in you the continual victims of its justice. It seems that these souls are made holocausts to be burnt up by love on the altar of the divine Justice. Oh, how few the souls of this kind ! They are almost all the souls of Mercy, and it is much ; but to belong to the divine Justice, Oh, how rare that is ! but how great it is ! These are the souls of God alone, who have no longer any interest in themselves, or for themselves ; all is for God, without reference or relation to themselves as to salvation, perfection, eternity, life, or death. All that is not for them : their business is to let the divine Justice satiate itself in them, as says Deborah, with blood of the dead ; that is to say, with this soul already dead through love ; and take on her vengeance for the sins of the others. This is too little ; it satiates itself with a glory which is peculiar to that attribute — glory which does not permit the smallest reference to the creature, and which desires everything for itself. Mercy is altogether distributive in favour of the creature ; but Justice devours and carries off everything, and cannot desire anything save for itself, without having any regard for the victim which it sacrifices ; it is for this reason that it does not spare. Yet it desires voluntary victims, who have no other object than itself in what they suffer, no more than it has any other object than itself in what it makes them suffer. It is not that the soul thus devoured pays attention to this loving cruelty, which treats her pitilessly ; no, she has neither thought nor reflection. She thinks on it only when it is given her to write or to speak on the subject. This Justice, thus devouring, nourishes itself only from sufferings, opprobrium and ignominy, and with the same 94 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL hand with which it has struck the Author of justice, it strikes with so much the more force those who are pre destinated, the more conformed they are to be to him. But it will be said. How, then, is such a soul sustained in the cruelty of the divine Justice ? She is sustained without sustenance by the same cruelty ; the more she is deserted, as it seems, by God, the more is she sustained in God above all sustenance : for it must not be thought that such a soul has anything for herself which can satisfy her, either within or without — absolutely nothing. All is rigour without any rigour ; all that is given her is only given for the neighbour, and to make him know and love and possess his God. My friend commenced to conceive some jealousy at the applause which was given me, God so permitting in order to further purify that holy soul through this weakness and the pain which it caused her. Her friendship changed into coolness and something more. It was you, 0 my God, who permitted it, as I have said. Certain confessors also commenced to stir themselves, saying that it was not for me to meddle with helping souls, that there were some of their penitents who had for me an entire openness. It was here one might easily remark the difference between those confessors who sought only God in the conduct of souls, and those who sought themselves ; for the former used to come to see me, and were delighted with the graces which God bestowed on their penitents, without paying attention to the channel of which he made use. The others, on the contrary, secretly moved to stir up the town against me. I saw that they would have been right in opposing me if I had intruded of myself; but besides that I could only do what our Lord made me do, it was a fact that I did not seek any one. Each one came to me from every direction and I received all indifferently. Sometimes they came to oppose me. There were two monks of the same order as the begging friar of whom I have spoken ; the one was Chap. XXL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 95 Provincial, very learned, and a great preacher, the other was Lent preacher at the cathedral. They came separately, after having studied a quantity of difficult subjects to propose to me. They= did this, and although they were matters beyond my scope, our Lord made me answer with as much correctness as if I had studied them all my life; after which I said to them myself what our Lord gave me. They went away not only convinced and satisfied, but smitten with yom- love, 0 my God. I still continued to write, and with incredible quickness, for the hand could hardly follow the spirit which dictated, and during this long work I did not change my conduct, nor make use of any book. The copyist could not, however diligent, copy in five days what I wrote in a single night. What is good in it comes from you alone, 0 my God ; and what is bad comes from me. I mean to say, from my unfaithfulness and the mixture which, without knowing it, I have made of my impurity with your pure and chaste doctrine. At the commencement I committed many faults, not being yet broken in to the operation of the Spirit of God, who made me write. For he made me stop writing when I had time to write and I could conveniently do it, and when I seemed to have a very great need of sleeping, it was then he made me write. When I wrote by day there were continual interruptions, and I had not time to eat, owing to the number who used to come. I had to give up everything as soon as I was asked for, and in addition I had the maid who served me in the state of which I have spoken, and she without cause used to come and suddenly interrupt me, according as her whim took her. I often left the meaning half finished, without troubling myself whether what I was writing was connected or not. The places which may be defective are so only because sometimes I wished to write as I had the time, and then it was not grace at its fountain head. If these passages were numerous it would be pitiable. At last I 96 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL accustomed myself to follow God in his way, not in mine. I wrote the Song of Songs in a day and a half, and in addition received visits. The quickness with which I wrote was so great that my arm swelled up and became quite stiff. At night it caused me great pain, and I did not believe I could write for a long time. There appeared to me as I slept a soul from purgatory, who urged me to ask her deliverance from my divine Spouse. I did so, and it seemed to me that she was at once delivered. I said to her. If it is true that you are delivered, cure my arm ; and it was instantly cured, and in a condition for writing. I will add to what I have said about my writings, that a very considerable part of the Book of Judges was lost. I was asked to make it complete. I rewrote the lost parts. A long time afterwards, having broken up house, it was found where one never would have looked for it. The earlier and the later were found to be exactly alike — a thing which astonished many persons of learning and merit, who verified the fact. There came to see me a counsellor of the Parliament, who is a model of holiness. This worthy servant of God found on my table a "Method of Prayer," which I had written a long time before. He took it from me, and having found it much to his taste, he gave it to some of his friends, to whom he thought it would be useful. All wished to have copies of it. He resolved with that worthy friar to have it printed. The printing commenced and the approbation given, they asked me to put a preface to it. I did so, and it is in this way that the little book, which has been made the pretext for my imprisonment, was printed. This counsellor is one of my closest friends, and a great servant of God. This poor little book, notwithstanding the persecution, has nevertheless been printed five or six times, and our Lord gives a very great blessing to it. These worthy monks took fifteen hundred copies. The begging friar Chap. XXL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 97 wrote perfectly, and our Lord inspired him to copy my writings, at least a part. He also gave the same idea to a monk of a different order, so that each of them took some to copy. Being one night engaged in writing some thing which he thought urgent (for he had misunderstood what had been said to him), as it was extremely cold, and his legs were naked, they so swelled that he could not move. He came to see me, quite sad, and as if disgusted with writing. He told me his ailment, and that he could not go on his begging rounds. I told him to be cured; he was so on the instant, and went away very well pleased and very desirous of transcribing that work, through which he declares our Lord has bestowed on him great graces. There was also a worthy girl, but very fickle; she had a great pain in the head. I touched it for her, and she was immediately cured. The Devil became so enraged against me, owing to the conquests that you made, 0 my God, that he beat some of the people who came to see me. There was a worthy girl of great simplicity, who gained her livelihood by her work ; she is a girl who has received very great grace from our Lord. The Devil broke two teeth in her mouth ; her jaw swelled to a prodigious size, and he told her that if she came to see me any more he would give her worse treat ment. She came to see me in this state, and said to me in her innocence, " The villain I he has done this to mo because I come to you; he utters great abuse against you." I told her to forbid him from me, touching her. Seeing that he was caught, and dared not touch her, for he could not do what God through me forbade him to do, he uttered much abuse, and made horrible gestures before her, and assured her he would stir up against me the most strange persecution I ever had. I laughed at all this, for I have no apprehension of him. Although he stir up persecutions against me, I know that in spite of him self he will serve for the glory of my God. VOL. IX. H 88 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. CHAPTER XXII. This poor girl came to see me one day quite distressed. She said to me, " 0 my mother, what strange things I have seen!" I asked her what it was. "Alas! " she cried, "I saw you like a lamb in the midst of a pack of furious wolves. 1 have seen a terrible gang of people of all kinds, of every age, sex, and condition — priests, monks, married people, maids, wives — with pikes, halberts, naked swords, who were trying to stab you. You let them do so without stirring, or showing astonishment, or defending yourself. I looked on all sides if any one would come to assist or defend you, but I have not seen any one." Some days after those who through envy were preparing a secret battery against me suddenly broke out like a thunderbolt. Libels commenced to circulate everywhere, and letters were shown me of the most dreadful character, which, without knowing me, envious persons had written. They said that I was a sorceress; that it was by magic I attracted souls; that whatever was in me was diabolic; that if I bestowed charities, it was with false money I did so ; and a thousand other crimes they accused me of, which were as false and as ill founded the one as the other. As the tempest each day increased, and they in truth said " Crucify ! " exactly as our Lord had at the first let me know, some of my friends advised me to withdraw for a time. The Almoner of the Bishop of Grenoble told me to go to St. Baume and to Chap. XXIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 99 Marseilles, to spend some time ; that they wished for me there, where were some very spiritually minded persons ; that he would accompany me, together with a worthy maid and another ecclesiastic, and meantime the tempest would pass off. But before speaking of my departure from Grenoble, I must say something more of the state which I bore in that country. I was in such a great plenitude of God that I was often either lying down or entirely confined to bed, without being able to speak ; and when I had no means of pouring out this plenitude, our Lord did not permit it to be so violent, for in that violence I could no longer live. My soul only wished to pour out into other hearts her superabundance. I had the same union and the same communication with Father La Combe (although so far away) as if he was near. Jesus Christ was communicated to me in all his states. It was then his Apostolic state, which was most marked. All the operations of God in me were shown me in Jesus Christ, and explained by the Holy Scripture ; so that I bore in myself the experience of what was there written. When I could not write or communicate myself in another manner, I was then quite languishing, and I experienced what our Lord said to his disciples : " I desired with ardour to eat this Passover with you." That was the communication of himself through the Last Supper, and through his Passion, when he said, " All is consummated, and bowing the head, gave up the ghost" (because he communicated his spirit to all men capable of receiving him), " and returned it into the hands of his Father " and his God, as well as his kingdom ; as if he had said to his Father, " My Father, my kingdom is to reign through you, and you through me, over men. This can only be by the pouring out of my Spirit upon them. Let, then, my Spirit be communicated to them through my death." And herein is the consummation of all things. Often a too great plenitude took from me the capacity to 100 MADAME GUYON. [Part H. write, and I could do nothing except lie down without speech. I used, notwithstanding, to have nothing for myself; everything was for the others, like those nurses who are full of milk, and who for this reason are not the more supported — not that anything was wanting to me, for since my new life I have not had one moment of emptiness. Before writing on the Book of Kings of all that refers to David, I was put into such a close union with this holy patriarch that I communicated with him as if he had been present, not in images, species, or figures — my soul was far removed from these things — but in a divine manner, in an ineffable silence, and in perfect reality. I under stood what this holy patriarch was ; the greatness of his grace, the conduct of God with him, and all the circum stances of the states through which he had passed ; that he was a living figure of Jesus Christ, and a shepherd chosen for Israel. It seemed to me that all our Lord made me, or would make me, do for souls, would be in union with this holy patriarch, and with those to whom I was at the same time united in a manner similar to what I had been with David, my dear King. 0 Love, did you not make me know that the wonderful and real union between this holy patriarch and me would never be under stood by any one ? for none was in a state to understand it. It was then you taught me, O my Love, that by this admirable union it was given me to carry Jesus Christ, Word-God, into souls. Jesus Christ is born of David according to the flesh. Oh, how many conquests did you cause me to make in this quite ineffable union ! My words were efficacious, and produced effects in hearts. It was the formation of Jesus Christ in souls. I was in no way the mistress of speaking or saying things ; he who led me made me speak them as he wished, and for as long as was pleasing to him. There were souls to whom he did not let me say a word, and others for whom there were deluges of grace. But that pm-e love did not suffer any superfluity nor Chap. XXIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 101 trifling. Sometimes there were souls who asked several times the same things, and when they were answered according to their need, and it was only a desire of speaking, without my paying any attention to it, I could not answer them. They then said to me, "You said this last ; must we hold to this ? " I used to say to them, "Yes," and then I was enlightened that because the answer would have been useless, it was not given to me. It was exactly the same with those whom our Lord was leading through the death of themselves, and who came to seek for human consolation. I had for them merely the strictly necessary, after which I was unable to speak. I would rather have spoken of a hundred indifferent matters (because that is what comes of myself, which God allows, that I may be all things to all, and not vex my neighbour), but as for his Word, he himself is the dispenser of it. Oh, if preachers spoke in this spirit, what fruit would they not have ! There were others, as I have said, to whom I could communicate myself only in silence, but a silence as ineffable as efficacious. These last are the most rare, and it is the special characteristic of my true children. It is (as perhaps I have already said) the communication of the Blessed Spirits. It was then that I learned the true manner of treating with the Saints of heaven in God himself, ahd also with Saints on earth. 0 communication so pure, who will be able to comprehend thee, save he who experiences thee ? If men were spirit, we would speak in spirit, but because of weakness we must have recourse to words. I had the con solation some time ago to hear this read from St. Augus tine in a spiritual conversation he had with his mother. He complains that he must have recourse to words, owing to our feebleness. I used sometimes to say, " 0 Love, give me hearts large enough to contain such a great plenitude." It seemed to me that a thousand hearts would be too small. I had intelligence of the communication between 102 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. Jesus Christ and St. John during the Last Supper. My intelligences were not lights, but intelligences of expe rience. How did I truly experience, 0 well-beloved disciple, the communication of my divine Master to your heart, and the manner in which you learned ineffable secrets, and how you continued a like commerce with the Holy Virgin ! Oh, how one may well call that communication a wonderful intercourse ! It was given me to understand that herein was the language of the cradle, and how the Holy Child communicated himself to the kings and shepherds, and gave them the knowledge of his Divinity. It was also (as I have said somewhere) in this way that when the Holy Virgin came to Elizabeth, a wonderful intercourse took place between Jesus Christ and St. John — intercourse which communicated to him the spirit of the Word, and the holiness which was so efficacious that it always continued. It is for this reason St. John Baptist showed no eagerness to come and see Jesus Christ after this communication, for they used to communicate at a distance as well as if near ; and in order to receive these communications with more plenitude, he retired into the desert. So when he preacheci penitence, what did he say of himself ? Hg did not say he was the Wo.-d, for he knew quite well that was Jesus Christ, Eternal Word, but he only said he was a voice. The voice serves as passage to the word, and emits it ; so that after being filled with the com munication of the divine Word, he was made the expression of that same Word, propelling by his voice that divine Word into souls. He knew it from the first : he had no need any one should tell him who he was ; and if he sent his disciples to him, it was not for himself, but for them, to make them disciples of Jesus Christ. He baptized only with water, to let it be seen what was his function, for as the water in flowing away leaves nothing, so the voice leaves nothing. It is only the Word who impresses him self. He was made, then, to carry the Word, but he was Chap. XXIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 103 not the Word ; and he who was the Word baptized with the Holy Spirit, because he had the gift to impress himself on souls, and to communicate himself to them by the Holy Spirit. I understood that Joseph and Mary mutually com municated through Jesus. Jesus was the principle and the end of their communications. 0 adorable intercourse ! It is not observable that Jesus Christ said anything during his obscure life, although it is true that none of his words will be lost. 0 Love, if all you have said and operated in silence were written, I do not believe that all the world could contain all the books which should be written. All that I experienced was shown me in the Holy Scripture, and I saw with wonder that nothing passed in the soul which is not in Jesus Christ and in the Holy Scripture. When I communicated with narrow hearts I experienced a very great torment. It was like an impetuous stream of water, which, not finding an issue, returns upon itself, and I was sometimes ready to die. 0 God, could I describe or make to be understood all I suffered in that place, and the mercies you showed me there ? I must pass over many things in silence, as well because they cannot be expressed as that they would not be understood. What caused me the most suffering was Father La Combe ; as he was not yet established firmly in his state, and that God exercised him in crosses and overthrows, his doubts and his hesita tions gave me strange blows. However far distant from me he was, I felt his pains and his dispositions. He was bearing a state of interior death and alternations the most cruel and terrible that ever were. According to the know ledge which God has given me of it, he is therefore of all his servants now on earth the most agreeable to him. It was impressed upon me that he is a vessel of election, whom God had chosen to carry his Name among the Gentiles ; but that he would show him how much he must suffer for that very Name. When in those trials he found himself, as it were, 104 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL rejected by God, he found himself at the same time separated from me. He doubted of my state, and had great griefs against me ; and as soon as God received him into himself, he found himself more powerfully united to me than ever, and he found himself enlightened on my state in a wonderful manner, God giving him an esteem which went as far as veneration : so that he could not conceal his sentiments, and he often repeated to me, " I cannot be united to you out of God, for as soon as I am rejected by God, I am the same by you, and I feel myself divided from you, in continual doubt and hesitation as to what concerns you ; and as soon as I am well with God, I am well with you. I know the grace he bestows on me in uniting me to you, and how dear you are to him, and the central depth he has put into you." 0 God, who will ever comprehend the pure and holy unions which you form among your creatures ! The carnal world only judges of them carnally, attributing to a natural attachment that which is the highest grace. You alone, 0 God, know what I have suffered on this head. All the other crosses, although very hard, appeared to me shadows beside that. Our Lord made me one time under stand that when Father La Combe should be 'established in him in a permanent state, and he should have no more interior vicissitudes, he would have none also in regard to me, and that he would remain for ever united to me in God. That is so at present. I saw that he felt the union and the division only owing to his weakness, and that his state was not yet permanent. I felt it only because he divided himself, and that I had to bear all this ; but ever since the union has been without contrariety, without hindrance and in its perfection, he has no longer felt it, no more than I ; except by an awakening in interior conversation in the manner of the Blessed. The union of the soul with God is felt only because it is not entirely perfect ; but as soon as it is consummated in Chap. XXIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 105 unity, it is no more felt : it becomes, as it were, natural. One does not feel the union of the soul and the body. The body lives and operates in this union without one think ing, or paying attention to the union. It exists — we know it ; and all the functions of life which the body performs do not allow us to be ignorant of it — yet one acts with out attention to that. It is the same for the union with God and with certain creatures in him, for what shows the purity and eminence of this union is that it follows that with God ; and it is so much the more perfect as that of the soul to God and in him is more perfected. Yet were it necessary to break this pure and holy union, one would feel it the more, in proportion as it is more pure, perfect, and insensible ; as one very well feels when the soul is about to separate from the body by death, although one does not feel the union. As I was in the state of childhood of which I have spoken, and Father La Combe got offended, and separated himself from me, I used to weep like a child, and my body became quite languishing ; and what is surprising is that I found myself at the same time weaker than a little child and strong as God. I found myself quite divine, enlightened on everything, and firm for the severest crosses ; and yet the weakness of the smallest child. 0 God, I can say that I am perhaps the creature in all the world from whom you have desired the greatest dependence. You placed me in all kinds of states and in different positions, and my soul neither wished to, nor had the power to resist. I was so utterly yours that there was nothing in the world that you could have exacted of me, to which I would not have submitted with pleasure. I had no interest for myself, and if I could have perceived that " myself," I would have torn it into a thousand pieces ; but I no longer perceived it. Ordinarily I do not know or recognize my state, but when God wishes anything from this miserable nothing, 106 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. I feel that he is absolute master, and that nothing, not to say, resists him, but even objects to his wishes, however rigorous they may seem. 0 Love, if there is a heart in the world over which you are fully victorious, I can say that it is this poor nothing. You know it, 0 Love, and that your most rigorous volitions are its life and its pleasure; for it subsists no more but in you. I have wandered ; that is a common thing with me, as well owing to interruptions and that I have had two severe illnesses since I commenced to write, as that I give myself up to what carries me away. Chap. XXIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 107 CHAPTER XXIII. To resume, the Almoner of the Bishop of Genoble per suaded me to go and pass some time at Marseilles, to let the tempest blow over, and said that I should there be very well received, that it was his country, and that many good persons were there. I wrote to Father La Combe, that I might have his approval. He permitted it. I might have gone to Verceil, for the Bishop of Verceil had sent me by express the strongest, most pressing, and most attractive letters possible, to induce me to go into his diocese ; but deference to man's opinion and the fear of giving opportunity to my enemies (when I use the term enemy it is not that I consider any person such, nor that I can look upon those whom God makes use of otherwise than as the instruments of his justice, but it is to explain myself) — these two reasons, I say, made me extremely unwilling. Besides, the Marquise de Prunai, who since my departure had been more enlightened by her own experience, having found true some of the things which I had believed were about to happen to her, had conceived for me a very strong friendship, and a very intimate union, so that the most united sisters could not be more so than were we. She wished extremely I should return to her as I had before promised; but I could not resolve upon it, lest it should be thought I was going where Father La Combe was. But, 0 my God, how this remnant of 108 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. self-love was overthrown by the action of your adorable pro vidence ! I had still this interior support of being able to say that I had never been running after Father La Combe, and that this could not be said of me, nor could I be accused on this head of any attachment to him, since when it depended only upon me to live near him, I did not do so. The Bishop of Geneva had not failed to write against me to Grenoble, as he had done elsewhere. His nephew had been from house to house decrying me. All this was indifferent to me, and I nevertheless procured for his diocese all the good I could. I even wrote politely to him; but his heart was too wounded in the matter of worldly interest, he said, to give in. These were his own words. Before setting out from Grenoble, that worthy child of whom I have spoken, whom the Devil had severely ill-treated, came to see me, and said to me, weeping, " The Devil has told me that you are going away." It should be observed that I had not told a single person. The Devil, then, told her that I was going away, and that I had concealed it from her, because I did not wish any one should know ; but that he would soon catch me, and that he would be before me in all the places where I should go ; that hardly should I arrive in any town, but he would stir up the whole town against me. And he made her under stand that he was enraged against me, and would do me all the ill he could. What had obhged me to keep my departure secret was that I feared being overwhelmed with visits and testimony of friendship from numbers of good people, who had much affection for me. I embarked, then, on the Rhone, with my maid and a worthy girl of Grenoble, to whom our Lord had through my means given much grace. She was to me a genuine source of crosses. The Almoner of the Bishop of Grenoble accompanied me, together with another eccle siastic, a very excellent man. We had many adventures, Chap. XXIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 109 and were near perishing ; for in a very dangerous place the cable broke, and the boat went right against a rock. The master pilot fell overboard at the shock, and would have been drowned but for the gentlemen who saved him. Another accident also happened to me. Having with the gentlemen gone down the Rhone in a small boat managed by a child, in expectation of finding a large boat, without success, we had to return to Valence, after having gone down more than a league. Every one got out of the boat because it was too heavy to reascend the river, and as I could not walk I remained in it at the mercy of the waves, which bore us where they pleased without resistance ; for the child who managed the boat, and did not know his business, took to tears, saying we were about to be drowned. I encouraged him, so that, having contended for more than four hours with the waves, while those who were on the bank believed us at one time utterly lost, then again saved, at last we arrived. These manifest dangers, which frightened the others, far from alarming me, increased my peace — a thing which astonished the Bishop's Almoner, who was in a horrible fright when the boat ran against the rock and split ; for, attentively looking at me in his emotion, he noticed that I did not frown, and that my tranquillity was not in the least altered. It is true that I did not feel even the first movements of surprise, which are natural to every one on these occasions, and which do not depend on us. What caused my peace in these perils that suddenly surprise, was my inmost centre being in an abandonment always fixed and firm in God, and because death is to me far more agreeable than life; I should need much more abandonment to God for living than for dying, if I could have any wish. I am indifferent to everything, and that is why nothing alters my central depth. On leaving Grenoble a man of rank, a great servant of God and an intimate friend of mine, had given me a letter 110 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. for a very devout Knight of Malta, whom I have always regarded since I knew him as a man our Lord destines to be very useful to the Order of Malta; to be its example and support through his holy life. I told him even that I believed he would go to Malta and that God would assuredly make use of him to inspire with piety many of the Knights. He has, in fact, gone to Malta, where at once the highest offices were given to him. That man of rank sent him the little book on prayer entitled, " A Short Method," printed at Grenoble. This knight had an almoner very much opposed to spirituality. He took the book and at once condemned it, and set about stirring up a party in the town, among others seventy-two persons who openly called them selves the seventy-two disciples of M. de St. Cyran. I had only arrived at ten o'clock in the morning, and a few hours after noon everything was in commotion against me. They went to see the Bishop of Marseilles, telling him that, owing to that little book, he must drive me away from Marseilles. They gave him the book, which he examined with his theologian, and which he found very good. He sent to fetch M. Malaval and a worthy Eecolot Father who he knew had been to see me a little after my arrival, to ascertain from them whence arose this great tumult (which made me laugh a little, when I saw so soon accomplished what the Devil had told that worthy gii'l). M. Malaval and the monk told the Bishop what they thought of me, so that he expressed great displeasure at the insult which had been put on me. I was obliged to go and see him. He received me with extreme kindness, and asked my pardon. He prayed me to remain at Marseilles, that he would protect me ; he even inquired where I lodged, that he might come and see me. The next day the Almoner of the Bishop of Grenoble, with that other priest who came with us, went to see him. The Bishop again expressed to them the vexation he felt at the insults which had been cast upon me without cause, Chap. XXIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. Ill and he said that it was the usual practice of those persons to insult all who were not of their faction ; that they had insulted himself. They were not content with that ; they wrote me the most offensive letters possible, although these persons did not know me. I understood that our Lord was commencing in earnest to deprive me of any dwelling-place, and these words came afresh to me : " The birds of heaven have nests, and the foxes have holes, and the Son of Man has not where to lay his head." I willingly entered upon that state. Our Lord nevertheless made use of me during the short time I remained at Marseilles to aid in supporting some good souls, among others an ecclesiastic who did not know me. He used to say Mass in a church where I went to hear it. After he had said the Thanksgiving, seeing me go out, he followed me, and having come to the house where I lodged, he told me that our Lord had inspired him to address me, and had made him know that I was the person to whom he should open himself for his spiritual state. He did it with as much simplicity as humility. Our Lord gave me all that was necessary for him, from which he was filled with happiness and gratitude to our Lord ; for although many spiritual persons, even near friends of his own, were there, he never had the movement to open himself to them. He was a great servant of God, and had been favoured with a wonderful gift of prayer from even eight years of age. He had employed all his life in missions, and had a very great gift of discernment of spirits. In the eight days that I was at Marseilles I saw there many good souls ; for I used to have this consolation, that, in spite of the persecution, our Lord used always to perform some stroke of his hand ; and this good ecclesiastic was delivered from a strange trouble in which he had been several years. As soon as I had left Grenoble those who, without knowing me, hated me, set in circulation libels against 112 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. me. One person for whom I had had a very great charity, and whom I had even withdrawn from an engagement in which she was for many years, having contributed to re move to a distance the person to whom she was attached, became so furious thereat that she went herself to see the Bishop of Grenoble, to speak to him against me, going so far as to say that I had advised her to do an evil which I had broken off even at my expense ; for it cost me money to get away the person. They had lived together for eight years, and I knew her only for one month. She went from confessor to confessor saying the same thing, in order to excite them against me. The fire was kindled in all directions : only those who knew me and who loved God supported my side, and they found themselves more bound to me by the persecution. It would have been very easy for me to destroy the calumny, as well with the Bishop as the town. It was only needed to say who the person was and to exhibit the fruits of her disorder, for I knew everything; but as I could not declare the guilty one without making known her accomplice, who was very repentant and touched by God, I thought it better to suffer everything and remain silent. There was a very holy man who thoroughly knew the whole story; he wrote to her that if she did not retract her lies he would publish her evil life, so as to make known her wickedness and my innocence. That poor girl persevered still for some time in her malice, writing that I was a sorceress, and that she knew it by revelation and many other things. However, some time after she had, according to her account, such cruel remorse of conscience that she wrote to the Bishop and others to retract. She got a letter written to myself, that she was in despair at what she had done, that God had punished her in such a manner that never had she been treated in a similar way. After her retractation the rumour subsided, the Bishop was dis abused, and from that time he has shown me great Chap, XXIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 113 kindness. This creature had said, among other things, that I caused myself to be worshipped, and such strange absurdities that the like were never seen. As she had been formerly mad, I believe there was more weakness than malice in what she did. Being then at Marseilles, I knew not what to do, for I saw no possibility either of remaining there or returning to Grenoble, where I had left my daughter in a convent. On the other hand, Father La Combe had written me that he did not think I ought to return to Paris. I felt even great repugnance to it, without knowing the reason, which made me think that it was not yet the time. One morning I felt myself interiorly urged to depart. I took a litter to go and visit the Marquise de Prunai, who was, it seemed to me, the most respectable refuge for me in the state things were. I thought to be able to go by Nice, as I had been assured by people ; but I was very much astonished, when at Nice, to learn that the litter could not pass the mountain to go where I wanted. I knew not what to do, nor what side to turn to, being alone, abandoned by all the world, without knowing, 0 my God, what you wished of me. My confusion and my crosses increased each day. I saw myself without refuge or retreat, wandering and vagabond. All the workmen that I saw in their shops appeared to me happy in having a dwelling-place and a refuge, and I found nothing in the world so hard for a person like me, who naturally loved honour, as this wandering life. While I knew not what course to take, I was told that next day a small sloop was about to start, which would go to Genoa in a single day, and that if I wished they would land me at Savona, whence I could be carried to my friend the Marquise de Prunai. I consented to this, having no possibility of other conveyance. I had some joy in embarking on the sea, and I said to you, 0 my God, " If I am the excrement of the earth, the refuse and scorn of nature, I am about to embark on tbe element the VOL. n. I 114 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. most faithless of all ; you can sink me in its waters, and I shall be pleased to die in that way." A storm came on in a place dangerous enough for a small boat, and the sailors were very bad. The turbulence of the waves constituted my pleasure, and I was delighted to think that these mutinous waters would serve perhaps for my grave. 0 God, perhaps I committed some infideHty in the pleasure I took at seeing myself beaten and tossed by these raging waves. I thought I saw myself in the hands of your providence : it seemed to me I was its plaything ; and I said to you, 0 my God, in my language, "Let there be, then, in the world victims of your providence, and let me be one. Do not spare me." Those who were with me saw my intrepidity, but they were ignorant of its cause. I asked of you, 0 my Love, a little hole in a rock, to place myself there and to live separated from all creatures. I pictured to myself that a desert island would have ended all my disgraces, and would have placed me in a state to perform infallibly your will ; but, 0 my Love, you destined me to another prison than a rock, another exile than that of the desert isle. You reserved me to be beaten by waves more irritated than those of the sea. Calumny was the mutinous and pitiless sea to which you desired I should be exposed, to be thereby beaten without mercy : blessed for ever, 0 my God, be you for this ! We were stopped by the storm, and in place of a short day's journey, the proper time to reach Genoa, we were eleven days on the way. How peaceable was my heart during this great agitation ! The tempest of the sea and the fury of the waves were only the symbol of that which all creatures had against me. I said to you, " 0 my Love, arm them all to avenge yourself on my infidelities and those of all creatures." I saw with pleasure your arm raised against me, and I loved more than a thousand lives the strokes it gave me. We could not disembark at Savona ; it was necessary to go on to Genoa. We arrived Chap. XXIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 115 there in the Holy Week. I had to endure the insults of the inhabitants, owing to their irritation against the French for the injuries caused by the bombardment. The Doge had just left, and he had taken with him all the litters ; for this reason I could not get one. I had to remain several days at an excessive expense, for these people demanded exorbitant sums, and as much for each person as would be charged in Paris at the best inn for the whole party. I was almost without money ; but the fund of providence could not fail me. I begged most earnestly, at whatever cost, that I might be supplied with a litter, so as to be able to go and spend Easter with the Marquise de Prunai ; yet there were only three days remaining to Easter, and I could not make myself understood. Owing to my entreaties, a bad litter was brought me, the mules belonging to which were lame, and I was told that for an exorbitant sum they would take me to Verceil, which was two days' distance, but not to the Marquise de Prunai ; because they did not even know where her estate was. I was strangely mortified, for I did not wish to go to Verceil, and yet the nearness of .Easter, and the want of money in a country where they practised a sort of tyranny, left me no choice, but under an absolute necessity of allowing myself to be taken to Verceil. You led me, 0 my God, by your providence, where I did not wish to go. Although the sum I had to give for such a bad conveyance for two days' journey was ten louis d'or, each sixteen livres of that country, nevertheless I accepted the unreasonable bargain from extreme necessity, and that in a country where conveyances are very cheap. The voiturier was the most cruel man possible, and for crown to our trouble, I had sent on the ecclesiastic, who accompanied us, to Verceil, in order to break the surprise of their seeing me after I had protested that I would not go there. This ecclesiastic was very badly treated on the road, from hatred against the French, and part 116 MADAME GDYON. [Part II. of the journey he had to do on foot, so that, although he had set out in advance, he reached only a few hours before me. The man, then, who led us, seeing that he had only women to deal with, insulted us in every way possible. We passed through a wood full of robbers. The mule teer was afraid, and told us that if any one met us on the road we were lost, and that they spared no one. Hardly had he told us this, when four well-armed men appeared. They at once stopped the litter. The muleteer was very much terrified. They came to us and looked at us. I made them a bow with a smile, for I had no fear, and I was so abandoned to providence, that it was equal to me to die in that way or another, in the sea, or by the hand of robbers. But, 0 my God, what was your protection over me, and what was my surrender into your hands ! How many dangers have I run on the mountains, and on the edge of precipices ! How many times have you stopped the foot of the mule, already sliding over the precipice ! How many times have I expected to be precipitated from those frightful mountains into terrible torrents, which were hid from view by the depth, but which made themselves heard by their fearful noise ! Where the dangers were more apparent, it was there my faith was stronger, as well as my intrepidity, which sprung from an inability to desire anything else but what would happen, whether it should be to be smashed on the rocks, to be drowned, or to be killed — all being alike in your will, 0 my God. The people who led me said they never saw a similar courage, for the most terrifying dangers, and where death seemed most certain, were those which pleased me more. Was it not you, 0 my God, who held me back in the danger, and prevented me from rolling into the precipice, to which we were already slipping down ? The more reckless I was of a life, which I endured only because you yourself endured it, the more did you take care to preserve it. It was, 0 Chap. XXIIl.] AUTOBIOGEAPHY. 117 my God, like a challenge between us two : I to abandon myself to you, and you to preserve me. The robbers then came to the litter, but I had no sooner saluted them than you made them change their purpose, one pushing the other to hinder him from hurting me. They saluted me very politely, and with an air of compassion, unusual in such persons, they withdrew. I was at once impressed, 0 my Love, that it was a stroke of your right hand, which had other designs for me than to make me die by the hands of robbers. You are, 0 my divine Love, that famous robber, who yourself take away everything from your lovers, and after having spoiled them of all, you become their pitiless murderer. Oh, how different is the martyrdom you make them endure, from that which all men taken to gether could invent ! The muleteer, seeing me alone with two maids, thought he could illtreat me as much as he pleased, perhaps imagining to extort money. Instead of taking me to the inn, he took me to a mill, where there was no woman ; there was only a single room, with several beds, where the millers and the muleteers slept together. It was in this room he wanted to compel me to remain. I said I was not a person to lie down where he had brought me, and I tried to oblige him to take me to the inn. He would do no such thing. I had to set out on foot at ten o'clock at night, carrying a part of my clothes, and travel more than a quarter league of that country (where the leagues are very long) in the midst of darkness, without know ing the road, crossing even one end of the robbers' wood, to go and find the inn. That man, seeing me leave the place where he had wanted to make us sleep, not without wicked intentions, cried out after us, abusing and ridicul ing us. I bore my humiliation with pleasure, not without seeing and feeling it; but your will, my God, and my abandonment made everything easy to me. We were very well received at the inn, and those worthy people did their best to refresh us from our fatigue, assuring us that the 118 MADAME GO YON. [Part II. place where we had been taken was very dangerous. The next day we had again to return on foot to find the litter, that man refusing to bring it to us. On the contrary- he poured out insults, and for crown of disgrace, he sold me to the post, and forced me thereby to go in a post- chaise, instead of in the litter. I reached Alexandria in that conveyance. It is a frontier town dependent on Spain, on the side of the Milanais. Our postilion wished to take us, as usual, to the post. I was much astonished to see the mistress of the house come to meet him, not to receive, but to hinder him entering. She had been told that there were women, so, thinking us other than we were, she did not wish for us. The postilion wished to persist. Their dispute grew so warm that a number of officers of the garrison, with a great crowd, assembled at the noise, astonished at the strangeness of the woman not wishing to lodge us. They thought she knew us for persons of bad livelihood, so that we had to submit to insults. However I urged the postilion to take us elsewhere ; he would not do it, and persisted obstinately in trying to enter, assuring the mistress that we were honourable and even pious persons, the signs of which he had seen. By his persistence he compelled the woman to come and see us. As soon as she had looked at us she did like the robbers, allowed herself to yield, and made us come in. I had no sooner got out of the chaise than she said to me, "Go and shut yourself in that room, and do not stir, that my son may not know you are there, for if he knows it, he will kill you." She said this to us with so much emphasis, and her servant also, that if death had not for me the many charms it has, I should have died of fear. The two poor girls were in terrible alarm ; when any one stirred, or came to open the door, they thought that our throats were about to be cut. In short, we remained between death and life until the next day, when we learned that the young man had taken an oath to kill all women Chap. XXIIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 119 who should lodge at his house, because a few days before he had had a very serious business which threatened his ruin ; a woman of evil life having assassinated a respect able man at their house. This had cost them much, and with reason he feared similar persons. 120 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. CHAPTER XXIV. Aptee such adventures and others which it would be tedious to relate, I arrived at Verceil the evening of Good Friday. Going to the inn, I was very badly received, and I had the opportunity of passing a genuine Good Friday, which lasted very long. I sent to find Father La Combe, believing him already informed by the ecclesiastic I had sent in advance, but the latter had only just arrived. I had many genuine mortifications to swallow for the time I was without this ecclesiastic, which I should have escaped had I had him ; for in this country, when ladies are accom panied by an ecclesiastic they are regarded with veneration, as persons of respectability and piety. Father La Combe was strangely displeased at my arrival, God so permitting ; he even could not hide it from me. Thus I saw myself at the moment of arrival on the point of setting out again ; and I would have done this, notwithstanding my extreme fatigue, but for the Easter festival. Father La Combe could not prevent himself showing his mortification. He said that every one would think I had come to see him, and this would injure his reputation. He was in very high esteem in that country. I had no less pain in going there, and it was necessity alone which had made me do it, in spite of my objections; so that I was placed in a state of sufferings, and our Lord adding his hand, made them very severe. The Father received me coldly, and in a manner which showed me his sentiments, and this redoubled Chap. XXIV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 121 my pain. I asked him if he wished me to return, that I would set out on the moment, although I was overwhelmed with the fatigues of such a long and dangerous journey ; besides that I was much weakened by the Lent fast, which I kept as strictly as if I had not been travelling. He told me he did not know how the Bishop of Verceil would take my arrival, when he had ceased to expect it, after I had so long obstinately refused the obliging offers he had made me ; that he no longer showed any desire to see me since that refusal. It was then, it seemed to me, that I was cast out from the surface of the earth, without the means of finding any refuge, and that all creatures were combined together to crush me. I spent the rest of the night in this inn, without being able to sleep, and without knowing what course I should be compelled to take, being persecuted to the degree I was by my enemies, and a subject of shame to my friends. As soon as they knew at the inn that I was an acquaint ance of Father La Combe they treated me very well, for he was there esteemed as a saint. The Father did not know how to tell the Bishop of Verceil that I was come, and I felt his trouble more keenly than my own. As soon as the Prelate knew I had arrived, as he thoroughly under stood the proprieties, he sent his niece, who took me in her carriage and brought me to her house ; but things were only done for appearance, and the Bishop, not having yet seen me, did not know how to take such an inopportune journey, after my having three times refused to go there, although he had sent expresses to ask me to do so. He was disgusted with me. However, as he was in formed that my design was not to remain at Verceil, but to go to the Marquise de Prunai, and that it was necessity owing to the festival which detained me, he let nothing appear ; on the contrary, he took care that I was very well treated. He could not see me until after Easter, as he officiated all the Vigil and on the day. In the evening, after 122 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. all the duty of Easter Day was over, he had himself carried in a chair to his niece's house to see me, and although he understood French no better than I did Italian, he was none the less very well satisfied with the conversation that he had with me. He seemed to have as much kindness for me as he previously had indifference. The second visit finished in gaining him entirely. One could not be under greater obligations than I was to this good Prelate. He conceived as much friendship for me as if I had been his sister, and in the midst of his continual occupation, his sole diversion was to spend a half-hour with me, speaking about God. He began a letter to the Bishop of Marseilles to thank him for having protected me in the persecution. He wrote also to the Bishop of Grenoble, and there was nothing he left undone to mark his affection. He no longer thought of anything but devising means to keep me in his diocese. He was not wilhng to let me visit the Marquise de Prunai ; on the contrary, he wrote to her, inviting her to come herself with me into his diocese. He even sent Father La Combe expressly to urge her to come, assuring her that he wished to unite us all and form a small Community. The Marquise de Prunai entered into it readily enough, and her daughter also, and they would have come with Father La Combe but for the Marquise having fallen ill. She thought of sending her daughter to me, and the matter was deferred until she should be in better health. The Bishop com menced by hiring a large house, which he even treated for the purchase of, in order to locate us in it. It was very suitable for a Community. He wrote also to a lady at Genoa, an acquaintance of his, sister to a cardinal, who expressed much desire to unite with us, and the matter was considered already settled. There were also some devout girls, who were quite ready to set out to come to us. But, 0 my God, your will was not to establish me, but rather to destroy me. Chap. XXIV.J AUTUBlOGUAPnY. 123 The fatigue of the journey made me fall ill ; the girl I had brought from Grenoble also fell ill. Her relatives, persons very full of self-interest, got into their heads that if she died in my hands I might cause her to make a will in my favour. They were much mistaken ; for, far from wishing for the property of others, I had even given away my own. Her brother, full of this apprehension, came as quickly as possible, and the first thing he spoke to her of, although he found her recovered, was to make a will. This caused a great fracas at Verceil ; for he wanted to take her away, and she was not willing to go. However, as I noticed little solidity of character in this girl, I thought it was an opportunity which divine providence offered me of getting rid of her, as she was not suited to me. I advised her to do what her brother wished. He formed friendship with some officers of the garrison, to whom he told ridicu lous stories, that I wanted to ill-use his sister, whom he represented as a person of quality, although she was of quite humble birth. This brought me many crosses and humiliations. They commenced to say, what I had always dreaded, that I had come for the sake of Father La Combe. They even persecuted him on account of me. The Bishop of Verceil was extremely vexed, but he could not apply any remedy ; for he could not make up his mind to let me go, besides that I was in no state to do so, being ill. The friendship he had for me increased each day, because, as he loved God, he had a friendship for all those he believed wishing to love him. As he saw me so ill, he came to see me constantly, when he was free from his duties and occupations. This caused him and me also no slight crosses. He used to make me little presents of fruit, and other things of that nature. His relatives became jealous, saying I had come to ruin him, and carry away into France the money of the Bishop. It was what was furthest from my thoughts. This worthy Bishop swallowed all the crosses, through the friendship 124 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. he had for me, and still confidently calculated on keeping me in his diocese as soon as I was recovered. Father La Combe was his theologian and his confessor : he esteemed him greatly ; and the Father did a great deal of good in that garrison, God making use of him to convert many of the officers and soldiers. Some of very scandalous life became models of virtue. He induced the subaltern officers to make retreats ; he preached and instructed the soldiers, who profited greatly, and as a consequence made general confessions. In this place there was a constant mixture of crosses and of souls gained for our Lord. There were some of his brother monks, who, after his example, were working for their perfection, and, although I hardly understood their language and they did not at all understand mine, our Lord brought it about that we understood each other in what regarded his service. The Father Rector of the Jesuits, having heard me spoken of, took the opportunity of Father La Combe's absence from Verceil to come and, as he said, try me. He had studied theological subjects that I did not understand, and put numbers of questions to me. Our Lord gave me the means of answering, and he went away so satisfied that he could not help speaking of it. Father La Combe stood well then with the Bishop of Verceil, who looked on him with veneration. But the Bernabites of Paris, or rather Father La Mothe, bethought himself of bringing him away from there, to make him go and preach at Paris. He wrote of it to their General, saying that they had none at Paris qualified to uphold the House ; that their church was deserted ; that it was a mistake to leave a man like Father La Combe in a place where he was merely corrupting his language; that his great talents should be exhibited at Paris ; that for the rest, he could not bear the burden of the House at Paris, if he was not given a man of that stamp. Who would not have believed that all this was Chap. XXIV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 125 sincere ? The Bishop, who was a great friend of the General, hearing of it, offered opposition, and wrote to him that it was to do him the very greatest injury to take away a man who was so useful to him, and at a time when he had the greatest need of him. He was right, for he had a Grand Vicar whom he had brought from Rome, who, after having been Nuncio of the Pope in France, had by his evil life been reduced to live off his Masses, even in Rome itself, where he was in such great need as to attract the compassion of the Bishop of Verceil, who took him, and gave him very good allowances for acting as his Grand Vicar. This Abbe, far from gratitude to his bene factor, following the whim of his humour, was constantly in opposition to the Bishop, and if any ecclesiastic was dis orderly or discontented, it was with him the Abb6 took part against his Bishop. All those that complained against the Prelate or insulted him, were at once friends of the Grand Vicar, who, not content with this, laboured with all his might to embroil him with the Court of Eome ; saying he was entirely devoted to France, to the prejudice of his Holiness's interests, and as a proof, that he had several Frenchmen with him. He also by his secret intrigues embroiled him with the Court of Savoy ; so that this worthy Bishop had very severe crosses from this man. Not being able to bear it, the Bishop requested him to retire, and with great generosity gave him all that was necessary for his return journey. He was extremely offended at having to leave the Bishop, and turned all his anger against Father La Combe, against a French gentleman, and against me. The General of the Bernabites was not willing to grant Father La Mothe's request, for fear of hurting his great friend the Bishop, and to take away from him a man who in that conjuncture of affairs was very necessary to him. As for me, my ills increased day by day. The air, which there is extremely bad, caused me a constant cough, 126 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. together with the fever which I often had, accompanied with inflammation of the chest, so that I had to be severely bled. I became swollen. In the evening I would be swollen to a great size, in the morning nothing was apparent ; the fever which I had every night consumed the humours. It was all the right side which first swelled ; at first only the right arm, afterwards it extended and became so con siderable that it was thought I should die. The Bishop was very much distressed, for he could not make up his mind to let me go, nor yet to see me thus die in his diocese. But after having consulted the doctors, who told him that the air of the place was fatal to me, he said to me with many tears, " I prefer you should live away from me rather than to see you die here." He gave up his design for the establishment of a Community ; for my friend was not willing to settle there without me, and the Genoese lady could not leave her town, where she was highly thought of. The Genoese prayed her to do there what the Bishop wished to do at his place. It was a Community something like that of Madame de Miramion; for in that country there are only cloistered nuns. From the beginning, when the Bishop proposed the matter to me, I had a presentiment that it would not succeed, and that it was not what our Lord desired of me. Nevertheless, I gave in to all that was wished of me in recognition of the Prelate's kindness, sure as I was that our Lord would be able to prevent anything he did not desire of me. When this good Prelate saw that he must resolve to let me go, he said to me, " You would like to be in the diocese of Geneva, and the Bishop persecutes and rejects you ; and I, who would so gladly have you, am not able to keep you." The Bishop wrote to Father La Mothe that I would go away in the spring, as soon as the season would allow ; that he was very distressed at being obliged to let me go ; and he said of me things that might throw me into confusion, if I could take to myself anything. He Chap. XXIV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 127 wrote that he regarded me in his diocese as an angel, and a thousand other things which his goodness suggested. From this out I made my account for returning ; but the Bishop expected to keep Father La Combe, and that he would not go to Paris. That would have been the case, indeed, but for the death of the General, as I shall tell hereafter. Almost all the time I was in this country our Lord made me there suffer many crosses, and at the same time he multiplied upon me graces and humiliations ; for with me one has never been without the other. I was almost always ill and in a state of childhood. I had with me only that girl of whom I have spoken, who, in the state which she was in, could not give me any relief, and who seemed to be with me merely to try me and make me suffer strangely. It was there I wrote upon the Apocalypse, and I was given a greater certainty of all I had known of the persecution which should come upon the most faithful servants of God, in accordance with what I wrote touching the future. I was, as I have said, in the state of child hood; when I had to write or speak there was nothing greater than I — it seemed to me I was quite full of God — and yet nothing smaller or feebler than I, for I was like a little child. Our Lord wished that not only should I bear his state of childhood in a way that charmed those who were prepared for it, but he desired further that by an external cult I should commence to honour his Divine Childhood. He inspired that worthy begging friar to send me a Child Jesus of wax, of ravishing beauty, and I perceived that the more I looked at it, the deeper were the dispositions of childhood impressed on me. One cannot believe the trouble I had to allow myself to pass to this state of childhood, for my reason was lost in it, and it seemed to me that it was I who gave myself this state. When I reflected, it was taken away, and I experienced an intolerable pain ; but as soon as I allowed myself to go 128 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. into it, I found myself with the candour, the innocence and simplicity of a child, something divine within. I have committed many infidelities to this state, not being able to bring myself down to a state so low and so small. 0 Love, you desired to place me in all sorts of positions in order that I should resist no longer, and should be subject to all your wishes without reflection or reserve. While I still was at Verceil I had a movement to write to Madame de C . It was some years since she had ceased writing to me. Our Lord made me to know her disposi tion, and that he would make use of me to help her. I asked Father La Combe if he would approve of my writing to her, telling him of the movement I had; but he did not wish it. I remained submissive, and at the same time assured that our Lord would unite us, and would provide me one way or another with the means of serving her. Some time after I received a letter from her, which not a little surprised Father La Combe, and he then left me free to write to her whatever I wished. I did it with great simphcity, and what I wrote was like the first foundation of what our Lord desired of her, having willed to use me afterwards to help her, and to cause her to enter into his ways ; for she is a soul to whom I am closely tied, and through her to others. Chap. XXV.] AUT013I0GUAPIIY. 129 CHAPTER XXV. The Father-General of the Bernabites, the friend of the Bishop of Verceil, died. As soon as he was dead Father La Mothe wrote to the person who was Vicar-General, and who held his place until a new election. He told him the same things he had told the other, and the necessity there was to have at Paris men like Father La Combe ; that he had no one to preach the annual sermon in their church. This worthy Father, who believed Father La Mothe was acting in good faith, having learned that I was obliged to return to France owing to my indisposition, sent an order to Father La Combe to go to Paris, and to accompany me the whole journey. Father La Mothe having asked him to do so, on the ground that as he would accompany me, their House at Paris, which was already poor, would be saved the expenses of such a long journey. Father La Combe, who did not penetrate the venom concealed under this fair appearance, consented to accompany me, knowing that it was my custom to take with me ecclesiastics or monks. Father La Combe set out twelve days before me, in order to attend to some matters of business, and to accompany me only at the crossing of the mountains, which appeared to him the place where I had most need of escort. I set out in Lent, the weather being very fine, to the grief of the Prelate, who excited my compassion by the trouble he was in at losing Father La Combe, and VOL. II. K 130 MADAME GUYON. [Part IL seeing me go away. He had me taken at his expense to Turin, giving me a gentleman and one of his ecclesiastics to accompany me. As soon as the resolution was taken that Father La Combe should accompany me, Father La Mothe at once set going everywhere the story that he had been obliged to do it, in order to make me return to France ; although he knew very well that I was intending to return before we knew that Father La Combe would return. He exaggerated the attachment I had for him, making himself out a subject of pity ; and on this every one said that I ought to put myself under the direction of Father La Mothe. However, he dissimulated towards us, writing to Father La Combe letters full of esteem and of tenderness to me, praying him to bring his dear sister, and to serve her in her infirmity on such a long journey, and that he would be deeply obliged for his care, and a hundred similar things. I could not bring my mind to leave without going to see my friend the Marquise de Prunai, notwithstanding the difficulty of the journey. I had myself carried, for it is impossible to go there otherwise, except on horseback, owing to the mountains, and I could not go in that way. I spent twelve days with her. I arrived exactly the Eve of the Annunciation, and as all her tenderness is for the mystery of the childhood of Jesus Christ, and she knew the part our Lord gave me in it, she received extreme joy at seeing me arrive to spend that festival with her. Nothing could be more cordial than what passed between us with much openness. It was then she told me that all I had said to her had happened, and a worthy ecclesiastic who lived with her, a very holy man, told me the same. We together made ointments, and I gave her the secret of my remedies. I encouraged her, and so did Father La Combe, to establish a hospital in that place, which she did while we were there. I gave the little contribution of the Holy Child Jesus, who has always made successful all the Chap. XXV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 131 hospitals which have been established in reliance on providence. I think I forgot to say that our Lord also made use of me to establish a hospital near Grenoble, which subsists without other capital than providence. My enemies have made use of this subsequently to calumniate me, saying that I had spent my children's property in establishing hospitals ; although the truth is, that, far from having expended their money, I had even given them my own, and that these hospitals have been established merely on the capital of divine providence, which is inexhaustible. But our Lord has had this goodness for me, that all he has ever made me do for his glory is always turned into a cross. I have forgotten to speak in detail of many crosses and illnesses, but there are so many some must be kept back. In the illnesses I had at Verceil I had still the same dependence on Father La Combe, owing to my state of childhood, with the impression of these words : " And he was subject to them." It was that state of Jesus Christ which was then impressed on me. As soon as it was determined that I should come into France, our Lord made me Imow that it was in order to have there the greatest crosses I had ever yet had, and Father La Combe also had knowledge of it ; but he said to me, that I must immolate myself to all the divine wishes and anew be a victim immolated to new sacrifices. He wrote to me : " Would it not be a fine thing, and very glorious to God, if he desired to make us in that great city serve as a spectacle to men and angels ! " I set out, then, on my return with a spirit of sacrifice, to immolate myself to new kinds of sufferings. All along the road something within said to me the same words as St. Paul : " I go up to Jerusalem, and the Spirit tells me everywhere that crosses and chains await me." I could not prevent myself from expressing it to my most intimate friends, who used their efforts to stay me on the road. They even wished all to contribute of what they had to stop me and prevent my 132 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. going to Paris, in the belief that the presentiment I had was very true. But I had to go on and come there to immolate myself for him who first immolated himself. At Chambery we saw Father La Mothe, who was going to the election of a General. Although he affected friendship, it was not difficult to see that his thoughts were other than his words, and that he had formed in his mind the design of destroying us. I speak of the behaviour of this Father only in obedience to the command which has been laid upon me to omit nothing. I shall be obliged, in spite of myself, to speak often of him. With all my heart I would gladly suppress what I have to say. If what he has done regarded only myself, I would willingly suppress it ; but I think it a duty I owe to truth and the innocence of Father La Combe, who has so long been grievously oppressed and overwhelmed by calumny and by an im prisonment of many years, which according to all appear ance will continue as long as his life. I feel myself, I say, obliged to expose all the artifices made use of to blacken him and render him odious, and the motives which have led Father La Mothe to adopt such a course. Although Father La Mothe appears heavily charged in what I say of him, I protest before God that I yet omit many facts. I saw, then, very clearly his design. Father La Combe also remarked it, but he was resolved to sacrifice himself and to immolate me to all which he believed the will of God. Some even of my friends informed me that Father La Mothe had evil designs, but yet they did not imagine them so extreme as they were in reality. They thought he would send away Father La Combe after having made him preach, and that for this purpose he would get him into trouble. At Chambery it was interiorly said to Father La Combe, in the same way as it had been told him that we should be together, that " we should be separated." We separated at Chambery. Father La Mothe went to the Chapter after begging Father La Combe with affected Chap. XXV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 133 urgency every day not to leave me, but to accompany me as far as Paris. Father La Combe asked his permission to leave me alone at Grenoble, because he was very desirous of going to Tonon to see his family, and he expected to rejoin me at Grenoble after three weeks. It was with difficulty this was granted, such was the affectation of sincerity. I set out for Grenoble and Father La Combe for Tonon. As soon as I arrived I fell ill of a continued fever, which lasted fifteen days, when that worthy begging friar had an opportunity of practising his charity. He gave me remedies, and these, joined to the fever and the change of climate, gradually consumed my disease. All those whom God had given me on my first visit to Grenoble came to see me during my illness, and exhibited extreme joy at seeing me again. They showed me the letters and re tractations of that poor impassioned girl, and I did not see a person who continued influenced by her stories. The Bishop of Grenoble expressed more kindness than ever, assured me he had never believed any of them, and even offered me to remain in his diocese. They again pressed me to remain at the General Hospital, but it was not where you wished me, 0 my God; it was upon Calvary. Father La Combe and I were so penetrated by the cross that everything announced to us Cross. That good girl of whom I have spoken, who had seen so much persecution, and whom the Devil, so threatened, had many presenti ments of the crosses that were about to pour upon us, and she said, "What do you want to go there for, to be crucified ? " All along the road souls that were spiritual and influenced by grace spoke to us only of crosses, and this impression that " chains and persecutions await me " never quitted me for a moment. I came then, 0 my Love, to sacrifice myself to your hidden will. You know what crosses I have had to bear from my relatives. Oh, in what ill fame am I ! In spite of all that, you nevertheless 134 MADAME GUYON. [Part II. win souls in every place and at every time; and one deems such troubles amply paid should they procure the salvation and perfection of a single soul. It is in this place that you desired, 0 God, to make a theatre of your designs through the cross and the good that you will to do to souls. PART IIT. CHAPTER I. Habdly had I arrived at Paris when it was easy for me to discover, by the conduct of the persons, the evil designs they had against Father La Combe and against me. Father La Mothe, who directed all the tragedy, dissimu lated as much as he could, and in his usual manner, giving secret blows and making semblance of flattering whilst he was dealing the most dangerous strokes. Through self- interest they desired to make me go to Montargis, hoping thereby to seize upon the wardship of my children, and to dispose of my person and my property. All the persecu tions which have befallen me from the side of Father La Mothe and of my family have been solely due to selfish motives. Those which have been directed against Father La Combe have been only due to the fact that he did not oblige me to do what they wished of me, and also to jealousy. I might give many particulars on this head which would convince everybody, but to avoid tediousness I suppress them. I will only say that they threatened to deprive me of the fief that I had reserved for myself by my deed of settlement. As I never betrayed the sentiments of my heart, I replied that I would not litigate, but if they wished to take away the little I had reserved for myself, though so trifling in comparison with what I had given up, that 136 MADAME GUYON. [Part IIL I would yield it cheerfully ; being delighted to be not only poor, but in the extremity of want, in imitation of our Lord Jesus Christ. After our Lord had made Father La Combe suffer much in our union, in order to purify it thoroughly, it became so perfect as to be henceforth an entire unity ; and this in such a way that I can no longer distinguish him from God. I cannot in detail describe the graces God has given me, for everything passes in me in a manner so pure that one can tell nothing of it. As nothing falls under the senses, nor can be expressed, it must all remain in him, who himself communicates himself in himself; as well as an infinity of circumstances, which I must leave in God with the rest of the crosses. What formerly caused my sufferings with Father La Combe is that he had not then a knowledge of the total nakedness of the soul lost in God, and that having always conducted souls in gifts, extraordinary graces of visions, revelations, interior speech, and not yet knowing the difference that there is between these mediate communica tions and the immediate communication of the Word in the soul, which, having no distinction, has also no ex pression, he could not understand a state of which I was unable to tell him almost anything. The second thing that had been the cause of his troubles was the communi cation in silence, to which he had difficulty in adapting himself, desiring to see it by the eyes of reason. But when all obstacles had been removed, 0 God, you have made of him one same thing with you and one same thing with me in a consummation of perfect unity. All that which is known, understood, distinguished, and explained are mediate communications, but for the immediate communication — communication of eternity rather than of time, communication of the Word— it has nothing that can be expressed, and one can only say of it what St. John has said of it : " In the beginning was the Word, and the Chap. I.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 137 Word was in God, and God was in the Word." The Word is in that soul, and that soul is in God by the Word and in the Word. It is very important early to accustom one's self to get beyond everything that is distinct and perceived, and mediate speech, to allow room for the speaking of the Word, which is none other than a silence ineffable and yet eloquent. I had arrived at Paris the Eve of St. Magdalen, 1686, exactly five years after my departure thence. Shortly after his arrival Father La Combe was very much run after and applauded for his sermons. I perceived, indeed, some little jealousy on the part of Father La Mothe, but I did not think that things would go to such a length. Doubtless it will be a matter of surprise that the greater part of the Bernabites of Paris and the neighbouring Houses should join against Father La Combe. There were two causes for it. First, the selfish motives and the jealousy of Father La Mothe, which made him invent all sorts of artifices. He told them all that in ruining Father La Combe they would have a pretext for shaking off the yoke of the Savoyards ; for it should be known that every six years the Bernabites had a Savoyard as Provincial. This, he said, was an insult to the French nation. They all fell in with it, and for this purpose betrayed their brother, without, however, obtaining what they desired, except for a few years ; for, as a fact, they have at present a Savoyard as Provincial. The second reason was the special jealousy of their Provincial, who, owing to a Lent service taken away from one of his friends and given to Father La Combe, became his enemy, though previously his friend. That united the interests of the Provincial and of Father La Mothe.This latter pushed artifice so far as to say that Father La Combe had accompanied me from Turin to Paris without entering their Houses, and that he remained in the inn with me to the great scandal of their Order. He 138 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. did not tell them that there was no convent of their Order on the route ; but, on the contrary, he made it to be under stood that there were, and that it was to the shame of these Houses that he had not been there. Who would not have believed a calumny told with such art? This began to stir up every one against me ; but the excellent sermons of Father La Combe and his success in the conduct of souls, counterbalanced these calumnies. I had deposited a small sum with Father La Combe (his superiors permitting), which I destined for the dowry of a girl professing as a nun. I thought I was bound in con science, for owing to me she had left the New Catholics. She is the young woman of whom I have spoken, that the priest of Gex tried to gain over. As she is beautiful, although extremely discreet, there is always ground for fear when one is exposed without any fixed settlement. I had then assigned this moderate sum for that worthy girl. Father La Mothe desired to have it, and made Father La Combe understand that if he did not cause me to give it for a wall that he wished to rebuild in his convent, they would get him into trouble. But Father La Combe, always upright, said that he could not conscientiously advise me to do anything else than what he knew I had resolved to do in favour of the girl. All this, joined to jealousy at the success of Father La Combe's sermons, made him de termine to unite with the Provincial, and to betray Father La Combe to satisfy the grudge of each. They no longer thought except of the means to arrive at their end, and to do it successfully they sent to confession to Father La Combe a man and a woman who were united in practising all sorts of villainy with impunity, and persecuting God's servants. I believe there never were such artifices as theirs. The man writes all kinds of hands, and is ready to execute anything one desires. They pretended devotion, and amongst so great a number of worthy souls who came from all parts to Father La Combe Chap. I.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 139 for confession, he never discerned those devilish spirits, God so permitting it, because he had given power to the Devil to treat him like Job. Previous to this, when I was alone in my room on my knees before an image of the Child Jesus, where I usually prayed, suddenly I was, as it were, cast back from this image, and sent to the Crucifix : all that I had of the state of childhood was taken away from me, and I found myself bound anew with Jesus Christ Crucified. To tell what this bond is would be very difficult for me, for it is not a devotion, as is commonly supposed. It is no longer a state of suffering by conformity with Jesus Christ ; but it is the same Jesus Christ borne very purely and nakedly in his states. What passed in this new union of love to that Divine Object he alone knows ; but I understood it was no longer a question for me of bearing him, the Child, or in his states of nakedness : that I must bear him Crucified ; and it was the last of all his states. For in the commence ment I had indeed borne crosses, as may be seen in the narrative of my life, which is quite full of them ; but they were my own crosses, borne through conformity with Jesus Christ. Then, my state becoming more profound, it was given me to bear the states of Jesus Christ, which I have borne in the middle of my life in nakedness and crosses. And whilst one bears in this manner the states of Jesus Christ one does not think on Jesus Christ — he is then re moved ; and even from the commencement of the path of faith one has him no longer thus objectively. But the state I am now speaking of is quite different ; it is of a vastness almost infinite, and few souls bear him in this way. It is to bear Jesus Christ himself in his states. Only experience can make intelligible what I wish to say. At this time these words were impressed upon me : " He has been numbered among the malefactors ; " and it was put into my mind that I must bear Jesus Christ in this state in all its extent. 0 God, if there has not been enough of insult and ignominy 140 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. complete, finish me by the last punishment ! All that comes from you will be sweet to me. Your arm is raised. I await the blows from moment to moment. " Let him who has commenced, finish ; and let me have this consolation, that in torturing me cruelly he does not spare me." I am fit only to suffer, and to suffer insults ; it is the contract of our sacred marriage — it is my dowry, 0 my Love ! You have been liberal of it in the case of your servant. At this period I received a letter from Father La Combe, who vsrrote me in these terms : " The weather is very lowering " (speaking of Father La Mothe's humour towards him). "I do not know when the thunderbolts will fall, but all will be welcome from the hand of God." Meantime the husband of this wicked creature who counterfeited the saint ceased coming to confession to Father La Combe, in order the better to play his game. He sent his wife, who said she was very sorry for her husband having left this Father ; that her husband was a fickle man ; that she did not resemble him. She counter feited the saint, saying that God revealed to her future events, and that he was about to have great persecutions. It was not difficult for her to know this, since she plotted them with Father La Mothe, the Provincial, and her husband. During this time I went to the country to the Duchess of C . Many extraordinary things happened to me, and God gave me great graces for my neighbour : it seemed as if he desired to dispose me thereby for the cross. Many persons of those whom our Lord caused me to spiritually help, and who were my spiritual children, were there. I was given a strong instinct of communicating myself to them in silence, and as they were not prepared for this and it was a thing unknown to them, I knew not how to tell them. In this I was wanting in fidelity to God through natural timidity. A passage of Scripture was read, and explained in a manner quite different from the Chap. I.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 141 understanding of it that was given to me, and this caused in me such a contrariety (because, owing to the presence of certain persons, whose constraint I felt, I dared not speak) that they had to unlace me. In the afternoon I had an opportunity of speaking to Father G and two other persons, and this was a relief to me. I have, besides, at different times had other plenitudes, which made me suffer much, and oftentimes I discharged them upon my best disposed children, though they were absent, and I felt that there was an outflow from me into their souls ; and after wards, when they wrote to me, they mentioned that at such a time much grace had been communicated to them. Our Lord had also given me a certain spirit of truth, which I called the spirit of the Word, which " causes one to reject the evil and to choose the good." When, in a sermon or discourse, any things about devotion, or pious thoughts, or probable opinions on any matter, or sentiments as to the Holy Virgin or the Saints, were advanced, I felt in me a something which rejected at once what was merely human opinion, and accepted the pure truth : this was without attention or reflection. Father La Combe wrote to me while I was in the country that he had found an admirable soul (meaning that woman who counterfeited the saint), and mentioned certain circumstances which made me apprehensive for him. However, as our Lord gave me nothing special on the subject — and, besides, I feared that if I told him my thoughts it would be ill taken, as at other times ; and as our Lord did not urge me to say anything (for if he had required it of me, at any cost I would have done it), I wrote to him that I abandoned him to God for that as for the rest. While this woman was counterfeiting the saint, and exhibiting great affection and esteem for Father La Combe, her husband, who imitated all kinds of writing, was induced (evidently by the enemies of Father La Combe, as the 142 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. sequel has shown) to write defamatory libels, to which they attached the propositions of Mohnos, which for two years were circulating in France, and said these were the senti ments of Father La Combe. They had them carried everywhere amongst the Communities, and Father La Mothe and the Provincial, who was more tricky, caused these libels to be sent back to themselves ; then assuming the role of persons much attached to the Church, they themselves carried these libels to the Official, who was in their plot, and brought them to the notice of the Arch bishop. They said that zeal urged them, and that they were in despair that one of their monks should be heretic and execrable. They also slightly mixed me up in the matter, saying that Father La Combe was always at my house. This was utterly false, for I could hardly see him, except at the confessional, and then only for a moment. They renewed their old calumnies about the journeys, and went from house to house among honourable families, saying that I had been on horseback behind Father La Combe — I, who was never so in my life ! — that he had not been to their Houses along the road, but that he remained at the inn. Previous to this I had had many mysterious dreams, which told me all this. They bethought them of one matter which favoured their enterprise. They knew that I had been to Marseilles ; they thought they had discovered a good foundation for a calumny. They forged a letter from a person of Marseilles (I even believe I heard it said, from the Bishop of Marseilles), addressed to the Archbishop of Paris, or to his Official, in which they stated that at Marseilles I had slept in the same room with Father La Combe ; that there he had eaten meat in Lent and behaved very scandalously. This letter was carried, this calumny was retailed everywhere, and after having circulated it. Father La Mothe and the Provincial, who had concocted it together, resolved to tell it to me. Father La Mothe came CuAP. 1.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 143 to see me, apparently to make me fall into the trap and to make me say in the presence of people he had brought with him, that I had been to Marseilles with Father La Combe. He said to me, " There are horrible stories against you sent by the Bishop of Marseilles, that you have there committed frightful scandals with Father La Combe ; there are good witnesses of it." I began to smile, and said to him, " The calumny is well imagined, but it ought to have been first ascertained if Father La Combe had been to Marseilles, for I do not believe that he has ever been there in his life ; and when I passed through it was Lent. I was with such and such persons and Father La Combe was preaching the Lent sermons at Verceil." He was dumbfounded, and with drew, saying, " There are, however, witnesses that it is true ; " and he went immediately to ask Father La Combe if he had not been at Marseilles. He assured him he had never been in Provence, nor further than Lyons and the road from Savoy to France ; so that they were somewhat taken aback. But they devised another expedient. Those who could not know that Father La Combe had never been to Marseilles, they left in the belief that it was Marseilles, and to the others they said that it was Seissel in the letter. This Seissel is a place where I have never been, and where there is no bishop. Father La Mothe and the Provincial carried from house to house the libels and those propositions of Molinos, saymg they were the errors of Father La Combe. All this did not prevent Father La Combe from making a wonder ful harvest by his sermons and at the confessional. From all sides people came to him. It was gall to them. The Provincial had just held his Visitation, and had passed quite close to Savoy without going there ; because he did not wish, he said, to hold the Visitation that year. They plotted together, Father La Mothe and he, to go there in order to collect some reports against Father La Combe and against me, and to gratify the Bishop of 144 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. Geneva, whom they knew to be very bitter against me and against Father La Combe, for the reasons I have mentioned. The Provincial set out, then, immediately on his return from the Visitation of Provence, to go into Savoy, and gave orders to Father La Mothe to do every thing he could to ruin Father La Combe. They plotted with the Official, a man skilful and clever in this sort of affair ; but as it would have been very difficult to mix me up in the business, they instigated that woman to ask to see me. She told Father La Combe that God made known to her admirable things of me, that she had an inconceivable love for me, and wished very much to see me. As besides she said she was very much in want, Father La Combe sent her to me to give her something in charity. I gave her a half louis-d'or. At first she did not strike me in her true character ; but after half an hour's conversation with her, I had a horror of her. I hid it from myself, for the reasons I have mentioned. Some days from that — three days after, I think — she came to ask me for the means of getting herself bled. I told her that I had a maid very skilful at bleeding, and if she wished I would have her bled. She indignantly refused, and said she was not a person to allow herself to be bled by any one but a surgeon. I gave her fifteen sous. She took them with a scorn which made me see she was not what Father La Combe believed her. She immediately went and threw the fifteen-sous piece before Father La Combe, asking if she were a person to be given fifteen sous. The Father was surprised ; but as in the evening she had learned from her husband that it was not time for breaking out, but for feigning, she went to see Father La Combe, asked his pardon, and said it was a strong temptation that had made her act so, and that she asked back the fifteen sous-piece. He told me nothing of all this, but several nights I suffered strangely owing to this woman. In sleep sometimes I saw the Devil, then suddenly I saw this woman ; sometimes it Chap. 1.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 145 was the one, sometimes it was the other. This made me wake with a start. For three nights I was thus, with a certainty that she was a wicked woman who counterfeited devotion to deceive and to injure. I told it to Father La Combe, and he reprimanded me very severely, saying it was my imagination, that I was wanting in charity, that this woman was a saint. I therefore kept quiet. I was very much astonished when a virtuous girl, whom I did not know, came to see me, and told me that she felt bound to warn me, knowing that I was interested in Father La Combe, that he confessed a woman who was deceiving him ; that she knew her thoroughly, and she was, perhaps, the most wicked and the most dangerous woman in Paris. She related to me strange things this woman had done and thefts committed at Paris. I told her to declare it to Father La Combe. She said that she had told him some thing of it ; but that he made her acknowledge it as a fault in confession, on the ground that she was uncharitable, so that she no longer knew what to do. That woman was over heard in a shop speaking evil of Father La Combe. It was told to him, but he would not believe it. She sometimes came to my house. I, who am without natural antipathy, had such a violent one, and even such horror for this creature, that the force I put upon myself to see her, in obedience to Father La Combe, made me turn so extraordinarily pale, that my servants perceived it. Among others, a very worthy girl — she who made me suffer so much for her purification — felt for her the same horror that I felt. Father La Combe was again warned that there was one of his penitents who went about decrying him to all the confessors, and saying execrable things of him. He wrote them to me, and told me at the same time that I should not imagine it was this woman ; that it was not she. I was perfectly certain it was the same. Another time she came to my house ; the Father was there. She told him something of the intimations she had that he was about to VOL. 11. L 146 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. have great crosses. I had an immediate conviction that it was she who was causing them. I told it to Father La Combe; but he would not believe me, our Lord so permitting it, to render him like to himself. One thing which seemed extraordinary, is that Father La Combe, so soft and so credulous to any other who did not tell him the truth, was not at all so for me. He himself was astonished at it, yet I am not astonished, because in God's con ducting of me my nearest are those who crucify me the most. Chap. II.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 147 CHAPTER II. One day a monk, at one time my confessor, to whom this woman went to retail her calumnies, sent to ask me to come and see him. He related to me all that she had told him, and the lies in which he had detected her. As for me, I continually detected her in falsehood. I at once told Father La Combe. He was suddenly enlightened, and, as if scales had fallen from his eyes, he no longer doubted the villainy of this woman. The more he recalled what he had seen in her, and what she had said to him, the more convinced he was of her villainy, and avowed to me there must be something diabolic in the woman to enable her to pass as a saint. As soon as I returned home she came to see me. I gave orders not to let her in. She wanted me to give her alms, to pay for the hire of her house. I was very ill that day, and in consequence of an excessive thirst my body was swollen. One of my maids told her plainly that I was ill, that they were alarmed because I had been dropsical, and that for two days I had been swollen. She wanted to enter in spite of the maid, when the one who knew something of her villainies came to prevent her, and told her that nobody could speak with me. She wrangled with them, but they patiently bore it. She straightway went to see the Superior of the Premontres and retailed to him frightful calumnies. She said that I was pregnant. This man, who hardly knew me, believed 148 MADAME GUYON. [Part IIL her, and sent for my daughter's maid whom he had given me. He told her this frightful calumny. She, who per fectly knew the thing was impossible, said to him, " My Father, by whom ? she never sees a man, and she is very virtuous." This astonished him. She told me of it. That wretched creature went everywhere retailing the same story, thinking that I should be a long time swollen, and it would be easy for her to make it believed ; but as the swelling passed away in a couple of days, owing to a trifling remedy, this calumny had no consequence. Besides, they knew that if they had recourse to calumny they must reckon with secular judges, and they would find it a bad bargain. They determined therefore to attack me also in the matter of faith, in order to throw me into the hands of the Official, and that by means of a little book, entitled " Short Method, etc.," to which my name did not appear, and which had been approved by doctors of the Sorbonne appointed for that purpose at Lyons and also at Grenoble. But before turning to myself, I must tell how they went to work. Father La Mothe came to see me, and said that at the .Archbishop's office there were frightful reports against Father La Combe, that he was a heretic and a friend of Molinos. I, who well knew he had no acquaintance with Molinos, assured him of this (for at the commencement I could not believe Father La Mothe was acting in bad faith, and that he was in concert with that woman). I further said to him, that I knew he had great power with the Archbishop, and I begged him to take Father La Combe there, that, as soon as the Archbishop had spoken to him, he would be undeceived. He promised he would next day, but he took very good care not to do so. I told him of the villainy of this woman, and what she had done to me. He coldly answered that she was a saint. It was then I commenced ito discover that they were acting in concert, and I saw myself reduced to say with David, Chap. II.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 149 " If my enemy had done this to me, I should not be sur prised, but my nearest ! " It was that which rendered these calumnies more hard and the whole matter more incomprehensible. I went to see Father La Combe at the confessional, and told him what Father La Mothe had said to me, and that he should ask to be taken to the Archbishop by him. He went to Father La Mothe, who said that he would take him to the Archbishop, but there was no hurry ; that the reports were not against him, but against me : and for nearly a month he played see-saw with us, saying to Father La Combe that the reports were not against him but against me, and to me that they were against him, and that I was not mentioned in them. Father La Combe and I were confounded when we spoke of all these things and this deceit. Nevertheless Father La Combe preached and heard confession with more applause than ever, and this aug mented the vexation and jealousy of those people. Father La Mothe went for two days into the country, and Father La Combe, being senior, remained as Superior in his absence. I told him to go to the Archbishop, and to take the opportu nity when Father La Mothe was not there. He answered me that Father La Mothe had told him not to leave the House during his absence ; that he saw clearly that it would be very necessary for him to see the Archbishop, and that perhaps he would never have this opportunity again ; but that he wished to die observing his obedience, and, since his Superior had told him to remain in his absence, he would do so. It was merely to prevent his going to the Arch bishop, and making him acquainted with the truth, that this had been said to him. There was a doctor of the Sorbonne, Monsieur Bureau, who came to see me two or three times, on the occasion of a visit from the Abbe de Gaumont, a man of wonderful purity, nearly eighty years of age, who has passed all bis life in retreat, without directing, preaching, or hearing 150 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. confession : he had known me formerly, and brought Monsieur Bureau to see me. Against this latter Father La Mothe was indignant, because one of his penitents, who had left him, had been to see Monsieur Bureau, who is a very honourable man. With reference to him. Father La Mothe said to me, "You see Monsieur Bureau; I do not wish it." I asked him the reason, telling him that I had not been to seek him, but that he had come to see me, and that rarely ; that I did not think it proper to turn him out of my house, that he was a man in high repute. He told me that he had done him a wrong. I wished to know what this wrong was. I learned it was because that penitent, who had given much to Father La Mothe and had left him only because he was grasping, had been to Monsieur Bureau. I did not deem this reason sufficient to alienate a man who had done me service, and to whom I was under obligation, and who was, besides, a true servant of God. Father La Mothe himself went to the Official's office to depose that I held assemblies with Monsieur de Gaumont and Monsieur Bureau ; that he had even broken up one of them — an utter falsehood. He said it also to others, who repeated it to me ; so that I learned it from the Official and from others. He further accused me of many other things. Without any regular process they attacked Monsieur Bureau, the Official being delighted to have this opportunity of illtreating a man whom he had hated for a long time. They set to work the scribe, husband of that wicked woman, against Monsieur Bureau, and in a short time there were counterfeit letters from Superiors of religious Houses where Monsieur Bureau directed and heard confession, who wrote to the Official, that Monsieur Bureau preached and taught errors, and introduced trouble into the religious Houses. It was not difficult for Monsieur Bureau to prove the falseness of these letters, for the Superiors disavowed them. Madame de Miramion, friend of Monsieur Bureau, herself proved their falsity ; yet, far from doing Chap. II.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 151 justice to Monsieur Bureau, they made His Majesty believe he was guilty, and exiled him, as I shall tell hereafter, abusing the King's zeal for religion by making his au thority subservient to the passion of these people. One day Father La Mothe came to me, and said it was absolutely true that there were horrible reports against Father La Combe, and insinuated that I should get him to withdraw, hoping thereby to make him appear guilty ; for it was hard to find the means of ruining him, because, whether they judged him themselves, or sent him to their General, the latter would have knowledge of everything, and the innocence of Father La Combe, as well as the wickedness of the others, would have been known. They were very much embarrassed to discover something. I said to Father La Mothe, that if Father La Combe was guilty he should be punished (I spoke very boldly, knowing thoroughly his innocence), and therefore there was nothing for him to do but to wait in patience what God would bring about ; that, for the rest, he ought to have taken him to the Archbishop to let his innocence be seen. I even asked him to do this with all the urgency I could. Father La Combe on his side besought him to let him go, if he was unwilling to take him. He always said he would take him to-morrow or some other day ; then he had business to prevent him ; and yet he many times went there by himself. Seeing that Father La Combe patiently waited his evil fortune, and not having yet discovered the last expedient, by which they have succeeded in ruining him, Father La Mothe raised the mask. He sent to warn me at church, where I was, to come and speak to him, and, having brought with him Father La Combe, he said to me, in his presence, " My sister, it is you who now must think of flying : there are against you execrable reports ; you are accused of crimes that make one shudder." I was no more moved, nor confused by it, than if he had told me an idle tale 152 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. that in no way touched me. With my ordinary calmness I said to him, " If I have committed the crimes of which you speak I could not be too severely punished, and therefore I am far from desiring to fly ; for if, after having all my life professed to be in an especial manner devoted to God, I made use of piety to offend him — him that I would give my life to love and to make loved by others — it is right that I should serve as an example, and that I should be punished with the utmost rigour : but if I am innocent, flying is not the means to make it believed." Their design was to incriminate Father La Combe by my flight, and to make me go to Montargis as they had planned. When he saw that, far from entering into his proposal, I remained unmoved, and firm in the determination to suffer everything rather than fly, he said to me, quite in anger, " Since you will not do what I tell you, I will go and inform the family " (meaning that of my children's guardian) "in order that it may compel you to do it." I said to him that I had told nothing of all this to my children's guardian, nor to his family, and that it would surprise them ; that I begged him to allow me to go the first to speak to them, or at least to consent that we should go together. He agreed that we should go together next day. As soon as I had left him, our Lord, desiring me to see the whole conduct of this affair, in order that I might not remain ignorant of it (for our Lord has not permitted anything to escape me, not that I should cherish a grudge against any one, since I have never felt the least bitterness against my persecutors — but, in fine, that nothing should be hid from me, and that in suffering everything for his love, I should make a faithful relation of it) — our Lord, I say, at once inspired me, suggesting that Father La Mothe was hurrying off to prejudice the family against me, and tell them whatever he pleased. I sent my footman to run and see if my suspicion was true, and to get a carriage for me to go there myself. Father La Mothe was already Chap. IL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 153 there before me. When he knew I had discovered he was there, he became so furious he could not prevent its appearing, and, as soon as he had returned to the convent, he discharged his vexation on poor Father La Combe. He had not found the guardian of my children ; but he had spoken to his sister, the wife of a Maitre des Comptes, a person of merit. When he told her that I was accused of frightful crimes, that they must induce me to fly, she replied, " If Madame," meaning me, " has committed the crimes you say, I believe I have committed them myself. What — a person who has lived as she has lived ! I would answer for her with my own life. To make her fly 1 Her flight is not a matter of indifference, for if she is innocent it is to declare her guilty." He added, "It is absolutely necessary to make her fly, and it is the sentiment of the Archbishop." She asked him where I should fly to. He answered, "To Montargis." That aroused her suspicion. She told him her brother must be consulted, and that he would see the Archbishop. At this ho was quite con founded, and begged they would not go to see the Arch bishop ; said he was more interested than any other ; that he would himself go there." I arrived just as he had left. She told me all this, and I related to her from beginning to end all he had said to me. As she is very clever, she understood that there was something in it. He came back, and contradicted himself many times before us both. The next day, the guardian of my children, having ascertained the Archbishop's hour, went there. He found Father La Mothe before him, but he had not been able to get admitted. When he saw the guardian of my children, a Counsellor of Parliament, he was much disturbed; he grew pale, then he grew red, and, at last accosting him, he begged that he would not speak to the Archbishop — that it was his place to do so, and that he would do it. The Counsellor remained firm that he would speak to him. 154 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. The Father, seeing he could not prevent it, said, " You forget, then, what my sister has done this winter," referring to a misunderstanding that he himself had caused. The Counsellor very honourably answered him: "I forget all that, in order to remember that I am obliged to serve her in a matter of this nature." Seeing that he could gain nothing, he besought him that at least he might be the first to speak to the Archbishop. This made the Counsellor believe he was not acting straightforwardly. He said to him, " My Father, if the Archbishop calls you the first, you will go in the first, otherwise I will go in." " But, sir," added he, " I will tell him that you are there." "And I," said the Counsellor, " will tell him that you are there." Upon that the Archbishop, knowing nothing of this tangle, called the Counsellor, who said to him that he was informed there were strange reports against me ; that he knew me for a long time as a woman of virtue, and that he answered for me with his own person ; that if there was anything against me it was to him they should address themselves, and he would answer for everything. The Archbishop said he knew nothing at all about it ; that he had not heard mention of me, but of a Father. Upon this the Counsellor told him that Father La Mothe had said that his Grace had even advised me to fly. The Archbishop said this was not true, he had never heard a word about it. Upon which the Counsellor asked him if he would consent to cause Father La Mothe to be called to say this to him. He was brought in, and the Archbishop asked him where he had picked up that ; as for himself, he had never heard a word about it. Father La Mothe defended himself very badly, and said he had it from the Father Provincial. On leaving the Archbishop's he was quite furious, and came to look for Father La Combe to discharge his anger, telling him they should repent of the affront put upon him, and that he would find means to make them repent. Chap. III.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 155 CHAPTER III. Some days after, having consulted, with Monsieur Charon, the Official, they discovered the means of ruining Father La Combe. Since I had been unwilling to fly, it was what seemed the most hopeful. They caused His Majesty to be informed that Father La Combe was a friend of Molinos, and of the same opinions, pretending even, on the evidence of the scribe and his wife, that he had committed crimes which he had never done; whereupon His Majesty, believing the thing true, with as much justness as kind ness, ordered that Father La Combe should not leave his convent, and that the Official should go and inform himself as to his opimons and his doctrines. There was never an order more equitable than this, but it did not suit the enemies of Father La Combe, who well knew it would be very easy for him to defend himself against matters so false. They concerted a means of withdrawing the affair from the cognizance of the General, and interesting His Majesty in it. The only one they found was to make him appear disobedient to the commands of the King, and, in order to succeed (for they well knew the obedience of Father La Combe was such that if he knew the order of the King he would not contravene it, and their designs would come to nothing), they resolved to conceal the order from Father La Combe ; so that, going out for some exer cise of charity or obedience, he should appear rebellious.' 156 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. Father La Combe preached and heard confession as usual, and even gave two sermons, one at the Grand Cordeliers at St. Bonaventura, and another at St. Thomas de Villeneuve at the Grand Augustinians — sermons which carried away everybody. They carefully concealed from him, I say, the orders of the King, and plotted with the Official in all that they did ; for they could avail nothing in this matter unless they were in concert. Some days previously Father La Mothe told me that the Official was his intimate friend, and in this business would not do anything but what was pleasing to him. He pretended to make a spiritual retreat in order not to absent himself from the House, and the better to accom plish his business, and also to have a pretext for declining to serve Father La Combe, and take him to the Archbishop. One afternoon news was brought to Father La Oombe that a horse had passed over the body of one of his penitents, and that he must go and take her confession. Without delay the Father asked permission from Father La Mothe to go and take the woman's confession : it was willingly given. Hardly had he set out, when the Official arrived. He drew up his proc'es verbal that he had not found Father La Combe ; that he was disobedient to the orders of the King (which were never told to him). Quite openly they told the Official he was at my house, although they well knew the contrary, and that it was more than six weeks since he had been there. They informed the Arch bishop that he was constantly at my house ; but, as a single exit by the order of his Superior was not sufficient to make Father La Combe appear as black to His Majesty as they desired to make him appear, it was necessary to have other instances. However, Father La Combe, having learned that during his absence the Official had come to speak to him, resolved on no account to go out. This slightly embarrassed them : so they made the Official come one morning, and, as soon as he entered, they told Father Chap. III.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 157 La Combe, who knew not that he was there, to go and say Mass. He was surprised, because it was not his turn. No sooner had he finished the Mass, than he saw the Official leaving. He went to his Superior, and said to him, " My Father, is it that they wish to entrap me ? I have just seen Monsieur Charon, the Official, leaving." The Superior said to him, " He wished to speak to me. I asked him if he wished to speak to you ; he said ' No.' " Yet that very morning there had been drawn up a second proces verbal that Father La Combe was not present, that he was again disobedient to the orders of the King. The Official came a third time. Father La Combe saw him from the window, and asked to speak to him. He was not allowed to appear, on the ground that the business was with the Superior, and that he had not come for Father La Combe. The latter came to see me at his confessional, where I was waiting, and told me that he much feared a snare ; that the Official was there, and they would not let him speak to him. A third proces verbal was drawn up, that Father La Combe was for a third time disobedient to the orders of His Majesty. I asked for Father La Mothe, and I said to him that I begged him not to behave thus ; that he had told me he was very much the friend of the Official, and that assuredly they were trying to use stratagem. He said to me coldly, "He did not wish to see Father La Combe; he had not come for that." I advised Father La Combe to write to the Official, and to beg him not to refuse him the favour which is not refused to the most guilty — that of hearing them ; to do him the kindness to come and ask for him. I myself sent the letter by an unknown person. The Official said he would go in the afternoon without fail. Father La Combe was somewhat troubled at having written this letter without the permission of his Superior, for he could not believe things were at the point they were : he went and told him. As soon as he knew it, he sent two 158 MADAME GUYON. [Part IIL monks to the Official, to request him not to come, as the event proved. As I passed by, on my way to a house I had hired, I met these two monks. I had a suspicion of the fact (for our Lord willed I should be witness of all) : I had them followed. They went to the house of the Official. I felt certain Father La Combe had confided to Father La Mothe the letter he had written. I went to see Father La Combe, and asked him. He admitted it to me. I told him I had met these two monks on the road, and had had them followed. We were still speaking when Father La Mothe came to say the Official would not come, that things were changed. Father La Combe from this saw clearly that the affair would be one of simple trickery. However, Father La Mothe pretended to be anxious to serve him. He said to him, " My Father, I know you have attestations of your doctrine from the Inquisition and the Sacred Congregation of Rites and the approbation of Cardinals for your security. These documents are beyond reply, and, since you are approved at Rome, a mere Official has nothing to say to you on the subject of doctrine." I was still at the Bernabites when Father La Combe went to look for those documents, and to draw up a memorial. Believing that Father La Mothe was acting in as good faith, as he protested, and seeing that he assured me that the Official would only do what he pleased, that he was his friend, and that he wished to serve Father La Combe, that Father in his simplicity believed him, and brought him his papers, which were unanswerable on the point of doctrine — as to morals, that was not within the province of the Official. After Father La Combe had given these necessary papers, they were suppressed, and in vain did the poor Father ask them back again. Father La Mothe said he had sent them to the Official. The Official said he had not received them. They were no more heard of. On St. Michael's Day, five days before the imprison ment of Father La Combe, I was at his confessional. He Chap. III.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 159 could only say these words to me : " I have so great a hunger for disgrace and ignominy I am quite languishing from it. I am going to say the Mass : listen to it, and sacrifice me to God, as I myself am going to immolate myself to Him." I said to him, " My Father, you will be satiated with them." And, in fact, on October 3, 1687, the Eve of St. Francis his patron, when at dinner, they came to carry him off, to place him with the Fathers of Christian Doctrine. During this time his enemies piled falsehood upon falsehood, and the Provincial sent for the Abbe who had been Grand- Vicar to the Bishop of Verceil and dismissed by him. He came express to Paris to make false depositions against Father La Combe ; but this was cut short, and served merely as a pretext for putting him into the Bastille. The Provincial had brought some un signed reports from Savoy, and boasted everywhere that he had the means of putting Father La Combe in the Bastille. In fact, two days afterwards, he was put in the Bastille, and although he was found perfectly innocent, and they have been unable to support any judgment, they have been able to persuade His Majesty that he is a dangerous spirit ; therefore, without judging him, he has been shut up in a fortress for his life. And when his enemies learned that in the first fortress the officers esteemed him and treated him kindly, not content with having shut up such a servant of God, they have had him removed to a place where they beUeved he would have more to suffer. God, who sees all, will render to each according to his works. I know by the spirit communication that he is very content and abandoned to God. After Father La Combe was arrested, Father La Mothe was more eager than ever to make me fly. He urged it upon all my friends ; he urged it upon me myself, assuring me that,af I went to Montargis, I should not be involved in this business : if I did not "go, I should be involved in it. He then conceived the notion that, to dispose of me and 160 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. the little that remained to me, and to exculpate himself in the eyes of men for thus having handed over Father La Combe, it was necessary that he should be my director. He skilfully proposed it to me, at the same time holding out threats. He added, " You have no confidence in me, all Paris knows." I admit this stirred my pity. Some of his intimate friends came to see me, and said that, if I con sented to put myself under his direction, I should keep out of the trouble. Not content with this, he wrote in all directions and to his brothers to lower me in their esteem. He so well succeeded that they wrote me the most out rageous letters imaginable, and especially that I should be ruined if I did not place myself under Father La Mothe. I still have the letters. There is a Father who prayed me to make a virtue of necessity ; that if I did not put myself under his direction I should expect nothing but utter discomfiture. There were even some of my friends weak enough to advise me to pretend to accept his direction, and to deceive him. 0 God, you know how far I am from evasions and disguises, and trickery, especially in this matter. I replied that I was incapable of treating direction as a farce, that my central depth rejected this with a fear ful force. I bore all this with extreme tranquillity, without care or anxiety to justify or defend myself, leaving to my God to appoint for me what he should please. He augmented my peace in proportion as Father La Mothe exerted himself to decry me, and this to such a degree I dared not show myself; every one cried out against me, and regarded me as an infamous character. I bore it all with joy, and I said to you, 0 my God, " It is for love of you I suffer these reproaches, and that my visage is covered with confusion " (Ps. xliii. 16). Every one without exception cried out against me, save those who were personally acquainted with me, who knew how far removed I was from these things ; but the others accused me of heresy, sacrilege, infamies of every kind, the nature of which I am Chap. III.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 161 even ignorant of, of hypocrisy, knavery. When I was at church I heard people behind me ridiculing me, and once I heard priests say that I ought to be thrown out of the church. I cannot express how content I was inwardly, leaving myself entirely without reserve to God, quite ready to suffer the last penalty if such was his will. I did not take a step, leaving myself to my God, yet Father La Mothe wrote everywhere that I was ruining myself through my solicitations for Father La Combe. I have never, either for him or for myself, made any solicitation. 0 my Love, you know that I wish to owe everything to you, and that I expect nothing from any creature. It was what I wrote at the commencement to one of my friends, who was in a position to serve me effectually, that I begged him not to meddle with the matter ; that I did not wish it should be said that any other but God had "enriched Abraham" — that is to say, I wished to owe everything to him. 0 my Love, I desire no other safety but what you yourself effect ; to lose all for you is my gain ; to gain all without you would be loss for me. Although I was in such universal disrepute, God did not cease to make use of me to win for him many souls, and the more the persecution increased, the more children were given to me, on whom our Lord bestowed the greatest graces through his insignificant servant. There was not a day passed without a new attack on me, and sometimes many in the day. Reports were brought of what Father La Mothe was saying of me : and a Canon of Notre Dame told me that what made the ill he said of me so very credible was that he pretended to love and esteem me ; he exalted me to the clouds, then he cast me down to the abyss. Five or six days after he had said that horrible reports against me had been brought to the Archbishop, a pious girl went to the scribe Gautier, and, not finding him, his little boy of five years of age said to her, " There is great news. My papa is gone with papers VOL. II. M 162 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. to the Archbishop." In consequence of this, I learned that in fact the reports of which Father La Mothe had spoken had been carried to the Archbishop after the arrest of Father La Combe. Father La Mothe, to excuse himself, said to me, "You were indeed right in saying that woman was wicked ; it is she who has done all this." But our Lord, who wished to leave him without excuse, and who did not wish that I should be ignorant that these things came from him, so permitted that two merchants of Dijon came to Paris. They spoke to me of a wicked woman, who had fled from a refuge at Dijon, and had come and got married at Paris. She had committed thefts at Lyons of the silver of a famous confraternity, and was near having her nose cut off in some disreputable place. I had heard this woman say that she had dwelt at Dijon. I suspected that she was the person, and the more so because a worthy girl, who had seen her at service in a house, assured me that she there had committed theft, and changed her name and residence. I had a presentiment that this was the person. I asked those merchants — who were very honourable men, and brought me a letter from the Procurer-General's wife, a friend of mine, who is a saint — if they could recognize her. They said "Yes." As she gains her livelihood by sewing gloves, that devout girl who knew her brought about an interview with those merchants. They recognized her at once, and told me that they were ready to depose she was the person. I could not take up the cause, for I had not been attacked, but Father La Combe. I sent to Father La Mothe to tell him that I had discovered a means of proving both the knavery of this woman, and the innocence of Father La Combe : that there were merchants who knew her, and were ready to go and depose against her before the authorities, after which, a thousand witnesses would be found at Dijon. Father La Mothe answered me, that he did not wish to mix himself Chap. III.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 163 up in it. He did indeed wish to mix himself up in betray ing his monk, but not in defending him. I saw thereby accomplished all that our Lord had made known to me five years before, regarding Father La Combe and me, and how he should be sold by his brethren. I even made verses on it at the time; for truly it was given me to know that he should be a second Joseph, sold by his brothers, and the persecution of Father La Mothe was shown to me with the same clearness that I have since seen it carried out : therefore I could have no doubt of it ; for in all that happened, I had an inner certainty that he was the mover, and God showed me in a dream how this Father was managing matters before I learned it elsewhere. Servants of God must not he judged by what their adver saries say of them, nor by the fact that one sees them succumb to calumny without any deliverance. Under the ancient law, God tried his most cherished servants by the greatest afflictions, as, for instance, the holy patriarchs, Job and Tobias ; but he lifted them up from their disgrace, and seemed to pile upon them wealth and prosperity in pro portion to the pains that they had suffered. But it is not the same under the new law, where Jesus Christ our legislator and divine model has been willing to expire in agonies. God, at the present day, treats his most cherished servants in exactly the same manner ; he does not relieve them during their life, finding pleasure in seeing them expire in crosses, discredit, and confusion ; and he acts in this way to render them conformable to his well-beloved Son, in whom he has especial pleasure ; so that the con version of an entire people could not be more agreeable to the eyes of the Eternal Father than this conformity to his Son : and as the greatest glory that God can draw from outside himself, is to see his Son expressed in men, whom he has created to be his images, the more extent this expression has in aU its circumstances, and the more perfect, that resemblance is, the more love and 1C4 MADAME GUYON. [Part IIL complaisance does God also have for those souls. But no one places that conformity where it ought to be. It is not in the troubles one procures for one's self, but in those, whencesoever coming, which are suffered in this submission to the wills of God, uniform, in whatever man ner or on whatever subject they may show themselves : in that abandonment or renunciation of all that we are in order that God may be all things in us ; that he may lead us according to his views, and not according to ours, which, in general, are entirely opposed : in short, all per fection consists in this entire conformity with Jesus Christ, not in striking things of which men make account. Only in eternity will it be seen who are the true friends of God. Jesus Christ alone is pleasing to him, and nothing is pleasing to him but that which bears the character of Jesus Christ. They still kept pressing me to fly, although the Arch bishop had told me myself not to quit Paris, and they vrished to incriminate me and Father La Combe also by my flight. They did not know how to work to get me into the hands of the Official, for if they accused me of crimes I must have other judges, and any other judge that might have been assigned me would have seen my innocence, and the false witnesses would have incurred risk. Yet they wished to make me pass for guilty to be master of me and shut me up, in order that the truth of this business might never be known; and for this purpose it was necessary to put me out of the way of ever being able to make it heard. They still circulated the same rumour of horrible crimes, although the Official assured me there was no mention of them, for he feared I should withdraw myself from his jurisdiction. They then made known to His Majesty that I was a heretic, that I had constant correspondence with Molinos — I, who did not know there was such a person as Molinos in the world until I learned it from the Gazette ; that I had written a dangerous book ; Chap. III.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 165 and that therefore His Majesty should give a lettre de cachet, to place me in a convent, in order that they might interrogate me ; that, as I was a dangerous spirit, it was necessary I should be shut up under key, out off from all intercourse either without or within; that I had held assemblies. This they strongly maintained, and therein was my greatest crime; although this was utterly false, and I had never held one, nor seen three people at the same time. In order to better support the calumny about the assemblies, they counterfeited my writing, and concocted a letter in which I wrote that I had great designs, but that I much feared they would come to nothing, owing to the detention of Father La Combe ; that I no longer held my assemblies at my own house ; that I was too closely watched; but that I would hold them in such and such houses, and in such streets, at the houses of persons whom I did not know and never heard named. It was on this fictitious letter, which was shown to His Majesty, that the order to imprison me was given. 166 MADAME GUYON. [Part 111. CHAPTER IV. They would have executed it two months sooner, but I became very ill with excessive pains and fever. It was thought I had an abscess in the head, for the pain there during five weeks was enough to make me lose my senses ; besides this, I had a pain in my chest, and a violent cough. Twice I received the Holy Sacrament as for one dying. As soon as Father La Mothe knew I was ill, he came to see me. I received him in my usual way. He asked if I had not some papers ; that I ought to entrust them to him, rather than to any one else. I told him that I had none. He had learned from one of my friends, who, knowing who he was, but not that he was the author of this business, told him that he was sending me the attes tation of the Inquisition for Father La Combe, having learned that his own had been lost. This attestation was a very important document, for they had informed His Majesty that Father La Combe had avoided the Inquisi tion. Father La Mothe was very much alarmed to know I had this document, and, making use of his ordinary artifice and of the opportunity of my extremity, which did not allow me the full freedom of my intelligence, owing to excessive pain and confusion of my head, he came to see me. He assumed the role of the affectionate and joyous person, telling me that Father La Combe's matters were getting Chap. IV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 1G7 on very well (though he had just caused him to be put into the Bastille) ; that he was on the point of coming out victorious, at which he was extremely glad ; that only one thing was wanting — that it had been said he had fled from the Inquisition, and they needed an attestation of the Inquisition : if he had that, he would be set free at once. He added, " I know you have one. If you give it to me, this will be done." At first I made a difficulty about giving it to him, having such good cause for distrust ; but he said to me, " What ! you wish to cause the ruin of that poor Father La Combe, when you might save him, and you will cause us this affliction for want of a document that you have under your hand." I gave way, and sent for this document and placed it in his hands. He immedi ately suppressed it, and said that it was gone astray ; and however I urged him to restore it to me, he has never done so. As soon as I had given the attestation to Father La Mothe, he went out, and the Ambassador of Turin sent a page to ask me for this attestation, which he would have an opportunity of using to the advantage of Father La Combe. I asked him if he had not seen two monks go out as he came in. He said, "Yes." I told him I had just given it into the hands of the elder. He ran after, and asked it from him. Father La Mothe denied that I had given it to him, asserting that I had an affection of the brain, which made me imagine it. The page came to tell me his answer. The persons who were in my room bore witness that I had given it to him. It could not be recovered from his hands. When Father La Mothe saw that he had nothing more to fear from this quarter, he no longer observed any measure in insulting me, dying as I was. There was hardly an hour passed that they did not put upon me new insults. They told me that they were only waiting for my recovery, to imprison me. He wrote still more strongly against me to his brothers, informing them that I 168 MADAME GUYON. [Part HI. persecuted him. I wondered at the injustice of creatures. I was alone, deprived of everything, seeing nobody ; for since the imprisonment of Father La Combe, my friends were ashamed of me ; my enemies triumphed ; I was abandoned and generally oppressed by all the world. On the other hand, Father La Mothe, in credit, applauded by all, doing what he pleased, and oppressing me in the most extraordinary manner ; and he complains I illtreat him at the very time I am at the gates of death ! He is believed, and I, who do not utter a word and preserve silence, am illtreated. His brothers wrote to me all in concert — one, that it was for my crimes I suffered ; that I should place myself under the direction of Father La Mothe, or I should repent of it : and with that he said to me the most insulting things of Father La Oombe. The other told me that I was mad, and must be tied ; lethargic, and must be roused up. The first wrote to me again that I was a monster of pride and such like, since I was unwilling to be cleansed, directed, and corrected by Father La Mothe : and the other let me know that I wished to be thought innocent while I did everything that resembled sin. This was my daily fare in the extremity of my ills ; and with this, Father La Mothe cried with all his force against me, that I illtreated him. To all these insults I opposed only kindness, even making him presents. As the royal prophet says : " I sought some one to take part in my pain, but I found none." My soul continued abandoned to her God, who seemed to be joined with creatures to torment her. For besides that in all this affair I have never had perceptible support nor interior consolation, I might say, with Jesus Christ, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" and, in addition, inconceivable bodily pains. I had not a friend, nor any corporal relief. I was accused of every crime, of infamy, error, sorcery, and sacrilege. It seemed to me that I had only one business henceforth, which was to be for the rest of my life the plaything of providence ; Chap. IV.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 169 continuaUy tossed about, and after that an eternal victim of divine justice. In all this my soul is unresisting, having no longer an " own " interest, and unable to desire to be anything but what God shaU cause her to be, for time and for eternity. Let those who read this reflect a little on the meaning of a state of this kind, when God appears to range himself on the side of creatures ; and, with that, a perfect steadfastness which never belies itself. It is indeed your work, my God, where the creature avails nothing. As soon as I was in a condition to have myself carried to the Mass in a chair, I was informed that I must speak to M. the Theologian. It was a trap arranged between Father La Mothe and the Canon, at i whose house I lodged, in order to furnish a pretext for arresting me. I spoke with much simplicity to that man, who is quite of the party of the Jansenists, and whom M. N had gained over to torment me. We only spoke of things within his grasp, and of which he approved. Nevertheless, two days afterwards, it was reported I had declared many things and accused many persons ; and they used this to exile all the people who displeased them. A great number were exiled, who they said had formed assemblies with me. They were all persons whom I never saw, whose names are unknown to me, and who never knew me. This is what has been most painful to me, that they should have made use of this invention to exile so many men of honour, although they well knew I had no acquaintance with them. One person was exiled because he said that my little book was good. It is to be remarked that nothing has been said to those who have formally approved it. Far from condemning the book, it has been reprinted since I am a prisoner, and advertised at the Archbishopric and throughout all Paris. Yet this book is the pretext which has been seized upon to bring me under the juris diction of the Archbishop. The book is sold, is distributed, 170 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. is reprinted, and I am stiU kept a prisoner. In other cases when anything bad is discovered in books, they are content to condemn the books and leave the persons at liberty. In my case, it is the exact opposite ; my book is approved anew, and they detain me a prisoner. The same day that all those gentlemen were exiled, a lettre de cachet was brought commanding me to go to the convent of the Visitation in the Faubourg St. Antoine. I received the lettre de cachet with a tranquUUty which extremely surprised the person who brought it. He could not help showing his astonishment, as he had seen the grief of those who were only exiled. He was touched even to tears, and though he had an order to carry me with him, he left me the whole day on my promise, and only prayed me in the evening to betake myself to St. Mary. That day many of my friends came to see me. I spoke of it only to some of them. All that day I had an extraordinary gaiety, which astonished those who saw me, and who knew the business. I was left free all the day, and they would have been very well pleased had I fled ; but our Lord gave me quite other sentiments. I could not support myself on my legs, for I still had fever every night, and it was not yet fifteen days since I had received the Holy Viaticum. I could not, I say, stand when I had to sustain so rude a shock. I thought that my daughter would be left to me, and a maid to attend me. My heart clung the closer to my daughter for the trouble she had cost me to rear, and that I had endeavoured, with the help of grace, to uproot her faults, and to bring her to the disposition of having no wUl, which is the best disposition for a girl of her age : she was not twelve years. Chap. V.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 171 CHAPTER V. On the 29th of January, 1688, the Eve of St. Francis de Sales, I had to go to the convent of the Visitation. As soon as I was there it was signified to me that I could not have my daughter, nor any one to attend upon me ; that I should be a prisoner, confined by myself in a room. This was the entertainment I had to restore me in my extreme feebleness ; but I keenly felt the separation when they tore from me my daughter. I asked that she might be left in the same house, and that I would not see her. Not only was this refused ; but they had, further, the harshness to forbid any news of her being given to me. My trouble was that I feared her exposure in the world, and lest she should in a moment lose what I had with so much care endeavoured to secure to her. From this moment I had to sacrifice my daughter as if she no longer belonged to me. They selected the House of the Visitation in the street of St. Antoine, as being the one where I had no acquaint ance, and in which they had most confidence. They thought I should there be kept with more rigour than in any other ; and they were not mistaken, for they knew the zeal of the Mother Superior in executing the King's orders. Besides, such a frightful portrait of me had been given to them, that the nuns regarded me with horror. It is a House where faith is very pure, and God is very well served, and 172 MADAME GUYON. [Part IIL for this reason, believing me a heretic, they could not regard me with favour. In the whole House they chose for my gaoler the person who they knew would treat me rigorously. To make my cross complete this girl was needed. As soon as I had entered they asked me who was my confessor since the imprisonment of Father La Combe. I named him. He is a very good man, who even esteems me, yet terror had so seized upon all my friends, owing to my imprisonment, that this worthy monk, without realiz ing the consequences, renounced me ; saying he had never heard my confession, and he never would. That had a bad effect, and having detected me, according to their story, in falsehood, there was no further doubt of all the rest. This made me pity that Father, and wonder at human weakness. My esteem for him was not lessened, yet there were many persons who had seen me at his confessional, and who might have served as witnesses. I was content to say, " Such a one has renounced me. God be praised ! " It was who would disavow me. Each one brought him self to say he did not know me, and all the rest accused me of strange wickedness ; it was who would invent the most stories. The girl I had by me was gained over by my enemies to torment me. She wrote all my words, and spied every thing. The smallest thing could not reach me but she ripped it entirely. She used her whole endeavours to catch me in my words. She treated me as a heretic, deceived, empty-headed. She reproached me for my prayers, and a hundred other things. If I was at church she gave great sighs, as if I was a hypocrite. When I communicated she was still worse, and she told me she prayed God that he would not enter into me. In short, she regarded me with only horror and indignation. This girl was the intimate of the Superior of the House, so that he saw her almost every day , and this Superior was in the party of Father La Mothe Chap. V.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 173 and the Official ; so that, although this girl was ready enough to obey him from the inclination she had for him, he made it a matter of conscience for her to illtreat me. God alone knows what she made me suffer. Moreover, the Official said I should be judged on the testimony of the Prioress ; yet she never saw me, and only knew me through this girl, who perpetually told her ill of me ; and being prejudiced against me, the most innocent words appeared to her crimes, and actions of piety, hypocrisy. I cannot express to what point her aversion for me went. As she was the only person of that Community I saw, being always locked into a small room, I had matter for the exercise of patience. Our Lord has not permitted me to lose it. Yet I committed an infidelity, which caused me strange suffering : it is that when I saw her eagerness to make me speak in order that she might catch me in my words, I tried to watch myself. 0 God, what torment for a soul become simple as a child ! I tried to guard my words that they might be more exact ; but the only result of this was to make me commit more faults, our Lord permitting it so, to punish the care I had wished to take of myself — I, who am his without reserve, and who ought to regard myself only as a thing that belongs to him, with no more thought of myself than if I had no existence. Therefore, so far from my precaution serving me, I was surprised into faults in my words, which but for that I would not have committed ; and, owing to the care I had wished to take of myself, I was for some days thrown back upon myself with a torment that I cannot better compare than to that of hell. There is this difference between a soul in purgatory and the Rebel Angel — that the soul in purgatory suffers an inexplicable torment because she has a very powerful tendency to unite herself immediately to her Sovereign Good, but yet her pain is not equal to that of a spirit who has in heaven enjoyed her Sovereign Good and 174 MADAME GUYON. [Part HI. who is rejected from it. This was the state in which my soul was. She was, as it were, in rage and despair, and I believe if it had lasted I should have died of it ; but I quickly recognized whence came my fault. I aban doned myself freely, and I resolved, though this girl, by her false reports, should bring me to the scaffold, I would take no care of myself, and would have no more concern for myself than if I had ceased to exist. This gradually passed away, and I returned into my former state. Shortly after I entered the convent I had a dream. I suddenly saw the heaven opened, and like a rain of golden fire which appeared to me to be, as it were, the fury of God, which sought to satisfy itself and do justice to itself. There were with me a great number of persons who all took to flight to avoid it. As for me, I did quite the contrary. I prostrated myself on the earth, and I said to our Lord, without speaking to him otherwise than in the manner he knows and understands: "It is I, my God, am the victim of your divine justice ; it is for me to endure all your thunder-bolts." Immediately all that rain, which was of flaming gold, fell upon me with such violence that it seemed to deprive me of life. I woke with a start, fully certain that our Lord did not desire to spare me, and that he would make me pay well for the title of " victim of his justice." Immediately after I came into this House, Monsieur Charon, the Official, and a Doctor of the Sorbonne came to interrogate me. They commenced by asking me if it was true that I had foUowed Father La Combe, and that he had taken me from France with him. I answered that he was ten years out of France when I left it, and therefore I was very far from having followed him. They asked me if he had not taught me to practise prayer. I declared I had practised it from my youth; that he had never taught it to me; that I had no acquaintance with him except from a letter of Father La Mothe, which he had Chap. V.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 175 brought me on his way to Savoy, and that, ten years before my departure from France. The Doctor of the Sor bonne, who was acting in good faith, who has never known anything of the knaveries (for I was not allowed to speak in private to him), said aloud that there was no ground there for a serious inquiry. They asked me if it was not he who had composed the little book, " Short and Easy Method." I said, " No ;" that I had written it in his absence, without any design it should be printed ; that a Counsellor of Grenoble, a friend of mine, having taken the manu script from my table, found it useful, and desired it might be printed ; that he asked me to make a preface for it and to divide it into chapters, which I did in a single morning. When they saw all I said tended to acquit Father La Combe, they no longer questioned me about him. They commenced by interrogating me on my book. They have never interrogated me on my faith, nor on my prayer, nor on my morals. I at once made a formal protest, written and signed with my own hand, that I had never wandered from the sentiments of the Holy Church, for which I would be ready to give my blood and my life ; that I had never joined with any party ; that I had all my life professed the most orthodox sentiments ; that I had even laboured, all my life, to submit my intellect and destroy my own will; that if anything were found in my books that might be ill interpreted, I had already submitted all, and I again sub mitted it, to the opinion of the Holy Church, and even to that of persons of doctrine and of experience ; that if I answered to the interrogatories upon the little book it was merely through obedience, and not to support it, as my only design had been to help souls, not to hurt them. That was the first interrogation. I was interrogated four times. On my coming into the House they told the Prioress that I would be there only ten days, to the end of my interrogation. I was not at first surprised that I was 176 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. prohibited from all communication outside the house or within, because I thought the motive was that I might not have any advice in the interrogation. The second interrogation was on the little book; whether I had desired to do away with vocal prayer from the church, and particularly the Chaplet, referring to the place where I had taught the saying of Pater Noster with application, and had explained the Pater, and that a Pater so repeated was worth more than many said without attention. It was not difficult to answer this, for to teach a prayer with attention and application is not to destroy prayer; on the contrary, it is to establish it, and to render it perfect. They then put to me other questions on the same book, which I then had not ; and I have so little memory, that I did not even know if what they asked me was in the book. Our Lord gave me the grace that he promised to the Apostles, which was to give me a much better answer than I could have found for myself. They said to me, " If you had explained yourself like this throughout the book, you would not be here." Suddenly I remembered I had put at the foot of the chapter the same reason that they approved, and I stated it. They would not write it down. After this, I saw they had simply taken the passages of the book that were not explained, and they had omitted their explanation; and it was merely to serve as a pretext for persecution, as the sequel has shown. After I had declared to them the explanations were in the book, and if there was anything wrong in it, they should not hold responsible me, a woman without learning, but the doctors who had approved it even without my asking them, since I was not acquainted with them ; from that time they no more interrogated me on this book, nor on that on " The Song of Songs," being satisfied with the submission I had made. The last interrogation was on a forged letter, where Chap, v.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 177 I was made to write, that I had held assemblies in houses that I was not acquainted with, and all the rest I have already mentioned. They read the letter to me, and as the writing was not at all like mine, I was told it was a copy, and that they possessed the original, which was similar to my writing. I asked to see it, but it has never appeared. I said I had never written it, and that I had no acquaint ance with the Minim, to whom it was addressed. To understand the malignity of this letter, it should be known that a worthy Minim Father came to see me on behalf of certain nuns of my acquaintance. One of the hostUe persecutors said to me, " You see then Minims also." Father La Mothe and the woman saw him, and one of the two asked me his name. I did not know it, for I was not acquainted with him, so I was unable to tell it. They concocted then a letter to a Minim to whom they gave the name Father Francis, although I have since learned his name to be quite different. They made me, then, write to this Father, on the 30th of October, a letter in which I wrote to him as if he were residing at Paris, the Place Eoyale, " My Father, do not come to see me at the Cloister Notre Dame." The reason why they had put this was, that they had watched that he had not come to the Cloister Notre Dame, and were ignorant of the cause. It continued, that I no longer held assemblies because I was being spied on. This letter convicted me also of designs against the State, cabals, and assemblies ; and they added, "I do not sign because of the evil times." As they were reading this letter to me, I maintained I had never written it. The very style would have shown this to all who have seen or received my letters. As to the assemblies, I always said I had no acquaintance with those persons ; that I knew no other Minim but one, who had come to me on behalf of certain nuns ; that he did not belong to Paris, that he was Corrector of Amiens. At the time, I did not recollect other reasons to mention, and the Official would not even VOL, 11. N 178 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. let these reasons be written. He made them merely put that I said it was not mine. After having read this letter, he turned to me, and said, " You see, Madame, that after a letter like this there was good reason to put you in prison." I answered him, "Yes, Sir, if I had written it." He maintained still, in the presence of the Doctor, it was my writing. But our Lord, who never fails at need, made me remember, as soon as they were outside, that the worthy Father was at Amiens from the commencement of the month of September, and it was impossible for me to have written to him as being in Paris on the 30th of October ; that he had gone away five weeks before I lodged at the Cloister Notre Dame, and therefore I could not have written to him from there before his departure, on the subject of that arrest, and pray him to come and see me on the 30th of October, in such and such houses with which I was not acquainted, and where I never was — the more so as he was at Amiens. I sent all this in writing to the Official, who took very good care not to show it to the Doctor. I further wrote him that, if he was unwilling to take the trouble to prove its falseness, he should give a commission to the guardian of my chUdren, who would willingly do it. But far from this, what did they do ? I am shut up more closely than before. I am accused and defamed every where, and they deprive me of the means of justifying myself. They fabricate letters for me, and they are unwilling I should prove my innocence of them. For two months after the last interrogation not a word was said to me, while the same rigour was practised towards me ; that Sister treating me worse than ever. Up to this I had not written anything for my justifi cation to the Archbishop or to the Official ; for I had no liberty to write to others, no more than I have at present. I had been, up to the time that I tried to watch myself in the manner I have mentioned, without any sensible or perceptible support, but in a peace of paradise, leaving Chap. V.] AUTOIMOORAPnY. 179 myself as a mark for all the malice of men. My diversion was to express my state in verse. It seemed to me that, though shut up in a close prison, my soul had the former liberty, larger than the whole earth, which appeared to me but as a point in comparison with the vastness I experienced ; and my contentment was without contentment for myself, because it was in God alone, above every own interest. Twelve days before Easter I went to confession. I raised my eyes without knowing why, and I saw a picture of our Lord fallen under his cross, with these words : " See if there is any sorrow like unto my sorrow." At the same time, I received a powerful impression that crosses were about to fall on me in greater crowds. I had always, until then, entertained some hope j ustice would be done me ; but when I saw that the more I appeared innocent the more they endeavoured to obscure my innocence, and the more closely I was kept confined, I concluded they sought not my innocence, but only to make me appear guilty. What happened confirmed me still more in this thought. The Official came to see me by himself, without the Doctor, who had been present at the interrogations, and he said to me, " We must not talk about the false letter ; it was nothing" (after having previously told me it was for that I was imprisoned). I said to him, "What, Sir, is it not the point in question — the counterfeiting the writing of a person and making her pass for one who holds assemblies and has designs against the State ? " He immediately said to me, "We will seek the author." I said to him, "He is no other than scribe Gautier," whose wife had told me he counterfeited all sorts of writing. He saw well I had hit the mark. Then he asked me where were the papers I had written on the Scripture. I told him I would give them when I should be out of prison. I did not wish to say to whom I had confided them. He said to me, " If we happen to ask them from you, say the same thing," making me offers of service. Yet he went away very 180 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. pleased thinking he had a means of ruining me beyond remedy, and satisfying Father La Mothe's desire that I should never be let out of prison. He drew up a proces verbal as if he had interro gated me judicially, although it was nothing but a simple conversation. The proces verbal ran, that up to that having been in appearance docile, I had rebelled when they had demanded my papers. I knew nothing of all this. I wrote a very strong letter to the Official on what he had said to me, that the letter they had forged was nothing. I also wrote to the Archbishop, who is himself mild enough, and who would not have been led to treat me with so much rigour if he had not been solicited by my enemies. He gave me no answer. But the Official thought he had found a means of ruining me by saying I had been rebellious, and I would not give up my writings. Three or four days before Easter he came with the Doctor of the Sorbonne and his proces verbal. To the latter I answered that I had made a great difference between a private conversation and an interrogation, and that I had not deemed myself obliged to tell a thing which had been asked me only hypo- thetieally, and that the papers were in the hands of my maid. They asked me if I was willing to hand them over to be disposed of as they pleased. I said, " Yes ; that having written only to do the will of God, I was as content to have written for the fire as for the press." The Doctor said nothing could be more edifying. The copies of my writings were placed in their hands, for as to the originals they had long ceased to be at my disposal. I do not know where those who took them from me have placed them ; but I have this firm faith, that they will all be preserved in spite of the tempest. As for me, I had no more of them than I gave, and I did not know where were the others ; thus I could say it with truth. The Prioress of the House where I am a prisoner asked the Official how my affair went, and if I would soon be let Chap. V.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 181 out of prison. It escaped him to say to her (and perhaps he did it owing to the Doctor, the better to screen himself) : " My Mother, what could one do to a person that does and says all that one desires and in whom nothing is found ? She will be released on a very early day." Yet they did not justify me. The Archbishop declared himself well satisfied with me, and my release and innocence were openly spoken of. Father La Mothe was the only one who had apprehensions. They sought to catch me by surprise. The more I was innocent, the more troubles I had. I was informed my affair went well, and I should be released at Easter. In the depth of my soul I had a presentiment to the contrary. 182 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. CHAPTER VI. Up to this I had been ui a state of inexplicable con tentment and joy at suffering and being a prisoner. It seemed to me that the captivity of my body made me better taste the liberty of my spirit. The more I was confined externaUy, the more I was large and extended within. My prayers stUl the same, simple and nothing ; although there are times when the Spouse clasps more closely and plunges deeper into himself. I had been in this way up to the time that I committed the infidelity of trying to watch myself in the manner I have told. On St. Joseph's Day I was introduced into a more marked state, one rather of heaven than of earth. I went to the Calvary, which is at the bottom of the garden ; my gaoler having had permission to take me there. It was in this place (which has always been my delight), and there I remained a very long time ; but in a state too simple, pure, and naked for me to be able to speak of it. The most elevated dispositions are those of which one can say nothing. I am not astonished nothing is said of those of the Holy Virgin and St. Joseph. All those which have anything marked are much inferior. By this state — so much above anything that can be told, although in the same central depth which does not change — I understood there was some new cup for me to drink : like as the Transfiguration of Christ, where he conversed Chap. VI.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 183 on his sufferings, was, as it were, the pledge of that which he had to suffer, and an introduction into his Passion; where, in fact, he entered internally from that very hour, depriving himself for the rest of his life of the outpourings of the Divinity upon the humanity ; so that he was deprived from that moment of all the supports he pre viously had. Then his Glory, exhibiting itself upon his body, made, as it were, a last effort to withdraw for ever ; and having to be altogether shut up in his Divinity, it left the humanity in a privation so much the greater as the state of glory and enjoyment was to him more natural. As, then, from the Transfiguration, so far as I can under stand, up to the death of Jesus Christ, all outpourings of beatitudes were suspended, to leave him in pure suS'ering, I can also say that the same happened to me although unworthy to participate in the states of Jesus Christ, and with the disparity between an insignificant and weak creature and a God Man. For the day of St. Joseph, a saint with whom I am in a very intimate manner united, was as a day of Transfiguration for me. It seemed to me that I had no longer anything of the creature, and from this time a sort of suspension has taken place, so that I have been as much abandoned by God as persecuted by creatures : not that I have any pain or trouble at this abandonment or that my soul has the least inclination for anything else — that can no longer be, for she is without inclination or tendency for anything what soever; but nevertheless she is in such an abandonment that I am sometimes obliged to reflect to know if I have a being and subsistence. The whole of St. Joseph's Day I was the same, and it began to diminish gradually up to the day of the Annunciation, which is the day my heart rejoices in : yet on that day it was signified to me that I must enter upon new bitterness, and drink to the dregs of the indignation of God. The dream that I had where all the indignation of God fell upon me came back to my 184 MADAME GUYON. [Part IIL mind, and I had to sacrifice myself anew. The evening of the Annunciation I was put into an agony I cannot express. The fury of God was entire, and my soul without any support from heaven or from earth. It seemed to me that our Lord desired to make me experience something of his agony in the Garden. This lasted until Easter, after which I was restored to my former tranquillity with this difference, that all co-operation is removed, and that I am, whether in regard to God or in regard to creatures, as that which no longer exists. I have to make an effort to think if I am and what I am ; if there are in God creatures and anything subsisting. Although I have been treated in the manner I have said, and I shall hereafter tell, I have never had any resentment against my persecutors. I have not been ignorant of the persecution they caused me. God has willed that 1 have seen all and known all ; he gave me an interior certainty that it was so, and I have never had a moment's doubt of it : but although I knew it, I had no bitterness against them, and, had it been necessary to give my blood for their salvation I would have given it, and I would still give it with all my heart. With regard to them, I have never had anything to mention in con fession. There are feeble minds who say that we ought not to believe that people do that which nevertheless they do. Did Jesus Christ and the Saints pluck out their eyes to avoid seeing their persecutors ? They saw them, but they saw at the same time that they would not have "had any power except it had been given them from above." Therefore it is that, loving the blows which God inflicts, one cannot hate the hand he uses to strike us, although one well sees which it is. On Holy Thursday the Official came to see me by him self, and told me he gave me the freedom of the cloister — that is to say, that I could go about in the House ; that he would not give any liberty for outside. I could not even Chap. VI.] AUTOWOGKAPHY. 185 obtain permission to speak to the guardian of my children. Yet they did not cease continually urging my daughter to consent to a marriage which would have been her ruin ; and, in order to succeed, they had put her into the hands of the cousin of the gentleman to whom they wished to give her. That would have caused me great anxiety if I was capable of feeling it ; but I had all my trust in God, and that he would not permit it to take place, the person in question having no tincture of Christianity, and being utterly ruined. The Official told me, at the same time, that I was entirely acquitted ; that I was left here only for a short time for form's sake, that they might have the opinion of the Prioress, whose merit and uprightness was long known. The Prioress and all the community gave me the best character that one can give of a person, and the community conceived a very great affection for me, so that the nuns could not help speaking good of me to everybody. Had I my choice of all the convents in Paris, even those where I am known, I could not be better than in this one. It was there, 0 my Love, that I recognized yet more your provi dence over me, and the protection you afforded me ; for they had chosen this Community as the one where they believed I should be treated with the greatest rigour, after having in the strongest manner prejudiced it against me. As soon as Father La Mothe learned they spoke weU of me in this House, he persuaded himself they could not speak well of me without speaking ill of him ; and although I saw nobody, he wrote and complained to all the world, that I decried him everywhere, and that the community were speaking much ill of him ; so that he embittered anew against me the minds of the Archbishop and of the Official, whose confessor he is. Far from releasing me at the end of ten days, as they had said, they left me there many months without saying anything to me. They even circulated new calumnies and, after having said I was innocent, they blackened me worse than ever. The Archbishop said I 186 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. must expect nothing but from my repentance. He told Pere de la Chaise that I had errors, and that I had even retracted them with tears, but that there was good ground to believe it was only through dissimulation, and therefore it was necessary to keep me shut up. On this I demanded only one thing, that they should punish me if I was guilty, but that they should exhibit my interrogation. It was what they never would do : on the contrary, the only answer was fresh calumnies. What has been most painful to me in all this affair, is that it was impossible to take any measures. I was con tinually tossed between hope and despair. They suddenly came to tell me my persecutors had the upper hand, that they had made His Majesty believe I was guilty of all the crimes of which I was accused. Practically all my friends withdrew, and said they did not know me. My enemies cried Victory ! and redoubled their rigours and severities against me. I continued content and resigned to remain in disgrace, believing I must there end my days, and no longer thought but of remaining all my life a prisoner. Then suddenly there came days of hope, which showed the business almost concluded in my favour, and that I was on the point of being declared and recognized as innocent. When the matter seemed settled and hope revived, there came a new turn, and a fresh calumny of my enemies, who made it believed they had found new documents against me, and that I had committed new crimes. This was con tinual, so that I regarded myself in the hands of God as a reed beaten by the wind, laid flat then suddenly lifted up, unable to continue either in disgrace or in hope. My soul has never changed her position from being incessantly beaten : she was always in the same state. I was suddenly told that Father La Mothe had succeeded in having me placed in a House of which he is the master, and where it was believed he would make me suffer extremely, for he is very harsh. He so fully Chap. VI.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 187 believed it, that he had given orders to keep a room ready to shut me up in. They brought me this news, which was of all what I should dread. All my friends were weeping bitterly. I did not feel even the first movement of trouble or pity for myself ; my soul did not even for an instant change her position. Another time a person of weight offered to speak for me, and was confident of my imme diate deliverance. The thing seemed done. I had not a first movement of joy at it. It seems to me my soul is in an entire immobility, and there is in me so entire a loss of all which regards myself, that none of my interests can cause me pain or pleasure. Besides, I belong so entirely to my God, that I cannot wish anything for myself but what he does ; death, the scaffold, with which numberless times I have been threatened, does not make the least alteration. Shall I say it, 0 my Love, that there is in me a sovereign love for you alone above all love, which even in Hell would make me content in the disposition in which I am ; because I cannot content myself or afflict myself with anything which should be my own, but with the sole contentment of God. Now, as God will be infinitely happy, it seems to me that there is not any misfortune, either in time or in eternity, which can hinder me from being infinitely happy ; since my happiness is in God alone. No justice was rendered me ; on the contrary, they endeavoured to invent new calumnies against me, and thereby to conceal the strange persecution to which I was subjected. The only confessor allowed me was one who hears confession from the nuns, and he is deaf ; so that they were obliged to have extraordinary ones brought. All I could obtain was on the eve of Pentecost to make my con fession to a monk, who came because the confessor was ill, and it was out of the question to pass that festival without confession. I admit the very frequent confession practised in this House has been my greatest trouble ; for our Lord keeps me in such an oblivion of myself, that 188 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. I could not confess anything but generalities, or matters long passed : but as to the present, I do not know where I am and what I am ; I can say nothing of it. A lady of the world whom Providence caused me to meet in this House, and who has conceived much affection for me, and has rendered me all the services she was able, seeing the injustice done to me, resolved to ask a Jesuit Father of her acquaintance to speak to Pere de la Chaise. This worthy Father did it: but he found Pere de la Chaise much prejudiced against me, because they had made him believe that I was in errors, and that I had even retracted them, but that many stUl clung to me ; so that this worthy lady advised me to write to Pere de la Chaise. I wrote him this letter : — " My Reverend Father, " If my enemies had attacked only my honour and my liberty, I would have preferred silence to justifying myself, it being my habit to adopt this course ; but at present, when they attack my faith, saying that I have retracted errors, and when I am even suspected of having still more, I have been obliged, while asking the protection of your Reverence, to inform you of the truth. I assure your Reverence I have done nothing of the kind, and what surprises me is, that, after the Official himself has acknow ledged that the memoirs which were given in against me were false, and that the letter forged against me was recognized as coming from a forger, as a conse quence of the incontestable proofs I gave him it was not mine: after those who have been given me for examiners, who have never demanded from me a retrac tation, but petty explanations, with which they appeared satisfied, have declared me innocent, and I have even placed in their hands writings which I had only made for my own edification, offering them to their judgment with all my heart — that after, I say, these things, I have Chap. VI.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 189 reason to believe your Eeverence is not informed of my innocence. I cannot, my Reverend Father, dissimulate that, for any other article but that of faith, it would be easy for me to suffer calumny, but how could I keep silence for the most righteous grief that ever was ? I have all my life made so open a profession of the most orthodox sentiments, that I have even thereby attracted enemies. If I dared open my heart to your Reverence with the secrecy of a perfect confidence, it would be very easy to prove to you, by incontestable facts, that it is temporal interests which have brought me where I am. After having refused things which in conscience I could not do, I was threatened with being involved in trouble. I have seen the menaces ; I have even felt their effects, without being able to defend myself, because I am without intrigue and without party ; and how easy is it, my Reverend Father, to oppress a person destitute of all protection ! But how can I expect your Reverence to believe me, when, unfortunately, I am only known to you by calumny? However, I advance nothing that I cannot prove, if you consent to be informed of it. It would be a favour that would win the eternal gratitude of your, etc." This letter had an effect the exact opposite of what was anticipated. I wrote it only through complaisance and to avoid scandal ; for they regarded as obstinacy my resolution to make no step for my justification. They said that I was expecting God to do everything, and that this was to tempt him. I felt within that this letter and all they made me write would be without effect ; that, on the contrary, they would do more harm than good. Yet our Lord wUled I should write, to make them see that all one does for a soul given up to God is an exceedingly small thing, if he does not himself do it. I had known from the commencement that our Lord wished to be my sole deliverer. Therefore I had a joy that cannot be expressed when I saw all the 190 MADAME GUYON. [Part HI. intrigues of the best-intentioned creatures only serve to spoil everything. Pere de la Chaise spoke of me to the Archbishop. This only served to give rise to new falsifica tions and new persecutions. The Archbishop assured him I was very criminal, and, the better to prove it, he feigned to wish to show me favour. He sent here a Bishop, one of his friends, to solicit the Prioress underhand that she should make me write a letter of submission and civility, in which I should declare that I was criminal and that I had retracted, promising that, if I wrote this letter, they would release me at once. I forgot to say that, a month previous to this, the Official came with the Doctor to see me, and, in the presence of the Mother Superior, proposed to me that, if I would consent to the marriage of my daughter, I should be released from prison before eight days. I said I would not purchase my liberty at the price of sacrificing my daughter ; that I was content to remain in prison as long as it should please our Lord. He answered that the King would not do any violence but he desired it. I said that I knew the King was too just and too equitable to act otherwise. Yet, a few days afterwards, they reported to Pere de la Chaise, that I had said that the King wished to keep me in prison until I had consented to the marriage of my daughter ; that the Arch bishop had himself told the guardian of my children that I should not be released until I had consented to it ; and, although I saw nobody and had no communication with outside, they accused me of having invented this, and they said I was a State criminal, and should again be shut up under key. But before this they made another attempt to see if I would write the letter they desired of me, as preliminary to my deliverance. They had no intention to deliver me, but a strong wish to have an incontestable proof against me, in order to confine me for the rest of my days — the one object my enemies had in view. Chap. VIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 191 CHAPTER VII. A FEW days later I saw, by night in a dream, the same man who had made the first false document, and he made two others, I also saw another intrigue of Father La Mothe and a persecution he raised against me, so that I found no refuge. Our Lord made me know, either by presentiment or by dream, what they were doing against me. Three or four days afterwards the Official and the Doctor came to tell the Prioress that I must again be shut up under key. She represented to them that the room I was in was small, opening only on the side where the sun shines all day; and in the month of July, how was it possible ? it was to cause my death. They paid no attention to this. The Mother asked why they shut me up again. They told her I had done frightful things for a month back in her House, that I had had strange bursts of violence in this same House and that I scandalized the nuns. In vain the Mother protested the contrary, and assured them the whole community were edified by me, and they could not tire of admiring my patience and my moderation. The Official said he knew it at first hand, and I had done terrible things in her House. The poor woman could not restrain her tears at seeing an invention so utterly remote from the truth. They then sent to fetch me, and they maintained to me that I had done horrible things in this House for a month 192 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. back. I asked what they were. They would not tell me. I asked who could give an account of what I had done beside the Prioress and the nuns, yet they would not accept their testimony ; that I would suffer as long as it pleased God : that they had commenced this business on forgeries, and would continue it on the same. The Doctor said to me I ought not to embitter matters, nor do the horrible things they said I had done. I answered him that God was witness of all. He told me that, in this sort of affairs, to take God for a witness was a crime. I told him that nothing in the world could prevent me having recourse to God. I then withdrew, and I was shut up more closely than the first time ; and because they had not got a key, they fastened the room with a wooden bar across. All who passed by there were astonished. I had much joy at this new humiliation. Oh, what pleasure, my Love, to be, for you, in the most extreme abjections ! When the Official was asked why he had caused me to be shut up, he said, he did not know ; that they must ask the Prelate. The guardian of my children went to see the Archbishop, and asked him why they had imprisoned me, since he himself had said I was exonerated. He answered him, " You, Sir, know, being a Judge, that ten documents do not condemn, but a single one may be found which condemns absolutely." The Counsellor said to him, " But, my Lord, what has my cousin done anew?" "What," says he, " you do not know it ! She has done frightful things for a month back." He, very greatly surprised, asked what they were. He said to him, " After having declared she was inno cent, she has written with tears, and as if under force, a retractation, in which she states that she recognizes she has been in error and in evil sentiments, that she is guilty of the things of which they accuse her, and that she cursed the day and the hour she became acquainted with that Father " (meaning Father La Combe). The CounseUor was strangely surprised, but he suspected it was an invention. Chap. VII.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 193 He requested to see that, and also my interrogations. The Archbishop told him it was a thing which would never be shown, and that it was the affair of the King. The Coun sellor, for greater certainty came here to see my friend, to know if I had written and signed anything. My friend assured him that neither the Official nor the Doctor had come here for four months — that is, since the Holy Thurs day, when they came to propose the marriage of my daughter, on which occasion the Counsellor was present. Thus he saw I had signed nothing, and that I had written nothing, except, at the instance of the Mother, one letter to the Archbishop, of no importance, the copy of which she had and showed him. Here it is : — "My Lord, "If I have so long preserved a profound silence, it is, not to be troublesome to your Greatness, but at pre sent the necessity of my temporal concerns indispensably requires me : I earnestly pray your Greatness to ask my liberty from His Majesty. It will be a favour for which I shall be under infinite obligations to you. I am the more hopeful of obtaining it, because the Official told me, before Easter, that I should not remain longer here than ten days, although many times that period has since passed ; but I shall in no way regret this if it has served to persuade you, my Lord, of my perfect submission and of the profound respect with which I am, etc." This letter said nothing at all ; yet he asserted he had a frightful one which I had written against the King and against the State. It was not difficult for the scribe who had written the first false letters to write others. It was, then, these frightful counterfeit letters, which were shown to Pere de la Chaise, for which I was shut up. 0 God, you see all this, and my soul was content in the face of such falsities and such knaveries. As soon as I was VOL. II. o 194 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. again shut up, a fresh rumour was set going that I had been convicted of crimes, and that I had committed fresh ones. Every one broke out against me ; even my friends found fault with me, and blamed me for the letter I had written to Pere de la Chaise. They commenced, also, in the House to have doubts of me ; and the more desperate I saw everything, the more content was I, 0 my God, in your will. I said, " 0 my Love, now they will no longer oblige me to have recourse to creatures. I await every thing from you alone. Do with me, then, for time and for eternity, whatever is pleasing to you. Gratify yourself with my trouble." The guardian of my children was not firm. He was sometimes for me, but as soon as Father La Mothe spoke to him he was against me ; so that he was continually wavering. Three days before I was shut up. Father La Mothe had said that they would shut me up again, and he wrote to my sister, the nun, a violent letter against me. He also said, " We have learned that, in the place where Father La Combe is imprisoned, there is a commandant who is one of his friends. They will take care to imprison him." It should be known that when Father La Combe was transferred to the Isle of Oleron, the commandants did justice to his virtue. As soon as they saw him they recognized he was a true servant of God. Consequently the commandant, full of love for the truth, wrote to Monsieur de Chateauneuf, that this Father was a man of God, and that he begged some alleviation of his imprison ment might be granted. De Chateauneuf showed the letter to the Archbishop, who showed it to Father La Mothe, and they decided he must be transferred from there. This has been done. He was taken to a desert isle, where he cannot see those commandants. 0 God, nothing is concealed from you. Will you for long leave your servant in ignominy and grief? Before I was arrested, M. had sent for a woman, Chap. VIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 195 who is a person of honour, but who did not know me, to tell her that she must go to the Jesuits and depose against me many things which he mentioned to her. She answered him, that she did not know me. He said that was of no importance, it must be done ; that his design was to destroy me. Thereupon this woman went to consult a virtuous ecclesiastic, who told her it was a sin and a falsehood. She did not do it. He then proposed it to another person who excused himself. Another, a monk, against whom there were subjects of complaint, to bring himself into credit, wrote against me. It was who would write most violently. I have a cousin-german, whom I believe our Lord has provided for me ; for I expect sooner or later he will finish his work. This relative, who is at Saint-Cyr, spoke on my behalf to Madame de Maintenon. She is the only person who has spoken for me. Madame de Maintenon found the King much prejudiced, Father La Mothe having been even with him to speak against me. There was, therefore, nothing to be done. They came to tell me there was no more hope, and all my friends said that the only thing which could be expected was perpetual prison. I fell dangerously ill, and the physician considered me i]i great peril. It could not be otherwise, as I was shut up in a place where the air was so hot it was like a stove. They wrote to the Official to procure for me the necessary alleviations, and even the Sacraments, and to permit some one to enter my chamber to attend me. He gave no answer, and but for the Superior of the House, who thought they could not in conscience allow me to die without treatment, and who told the Mother Superior to give it to me, I had died without help ; for when it was mentioned to the Archbishop, he said : " What, she is ill, is she, at being shut up within four walls after what she has done ! " and although the CounseUor asked it of him, he would yield nothing. I had a very violent continuous fever. 196 MADAME GUYON. [Part IIL inflammation of the throat, a cough, and a continual discharge from the head upon the chest, which, it seemed, must suffocate me. But, 0 God, you did not want me, since you inspired the Superior of the House to give orders I should be seen by the physician and the surgeon ; for I should have died but for the promptness with which they bled me. I believe few examples of like treatment can be found. I knew all this, and that all Paris was let loose against me, but I felt no pain at it. My friends feared lest I should die ; for by my death my name would remain in disgrace, and my enemies have the upper hand. These latter believed I was already dead, and they rejoiced at it ; but you, 0 my Love, did not will they should rejoice over me ; you willed, after having abased me to the abyss, to make your mercy shine forth. The day of Pentecost it was put into my mind that, under the ancient law, there were many martyrs of the Divinity ; for the prophets, and so many other Israelites have been martyrs of the true God, and have suffered only for maintaining the Divinity ; that in the Primitive Church the martyrs have shed their blood to maintain the truth of Jesus Christ Crucified, God and man ; their martyrdom also was bloody : but at present there are martyrs of the Holy Spirit. These martyrs suffer in two ways — first, because they maintain the reign of the Holy Spirit in souls ; and, secondly, because they are the victims of the will of God ; for the Holy Spirit is the wUl of the Father and of the Son, as he is the love of it. These martyrs must suffer an extraordinary martyrdom — not in shedding their blood, but in being captives of the wiU of God, the plaything of his providence, and martyrs of his Spirit. The martyrs of the Primitive Church have suffered for the message of God, which was announced to them by the Word. The martyrs of the present time suffer for dependence on the Spirit of God. It is this Spirit, which is about to be poured out on all Chap. VIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 197 flesh, as is said in the prophet Joel. The martyrs of Jesus Christ have been glorious martyrs, Jesus Christ having drunk all confusion and disgrace. But the martyrs of the Holy Spirit are martyrs of shame and ignominy. It is for this reason the Devil no longer exercises his power upon the faith of these last martyrs ; the question is no longer of that : but he attacks directly the domain of the Holy Spirit, opposing the celestial movement in souls, and discharging his hatred on the bodies of those whose spirit is beyond his attack. Oh martyrdom most horrible and most cruel of all ! So will it be the consummation of all martyrdoms. And as the Holy Spirit is the consumma tion of all graces, so the martyrs of the Holy Spirit will be the last martyrs, after which, during a very long time, this Holy Spirit will so possess hearts and minds, that he will cause his subjects to do through love all that is pleasing to him, as the devils by tyranny made those whom they possessed do all that they wished. 0 Holy Spirit, Spirit of Love, make, then, of me all that pleases you for time and for eternity. Let me be slave to your will, and as a leaf is moved at the pleasure of the wind, may I allow myself to move at your divine breath : but as the impetuous wind breaks and tears away all that resists it, break all that opposes itself to your empire, break the cedars, as your prophet expresses it, — yes, the cedars shall be broken, all shall be destroyed; but "Send out thy Spirit, and thou wilt renew the face of the earth." It is this same Spirit which destroys, that will renew the face of the earth. This is very certain. Send your Spirit, Lord ; you have promised it. It is said of Jesus Christ, he expired, "breathed out his spirit;" marking thereby the consum mation of his sufferings and the consummation of the ages. Also, it is said, he gave up his spirit after having said, " It is consummated," which shows us the consum mation of all things will be effected by the extension of 198 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. that same Spirit through all the earth ; and that this con summation will be that of eternity, which will never ibe consummated, because it wUl no more subsist but by the vivifying and immortal Spirit. Our Lord in expiring gave up his spirit into the hands of his Father, as if to let us know that after this Spirit (which is, which was, and which will be, the will and love of God com municated to men) had come out from God to visit the earth, it would return to God almost entirely withdrawn from earth and continuing immovable for a time. The reign of the Father has been before the Incar nation; that of the Son through the Incarnation, as it is said of Jesus Christ, that he came to reign ; and, since his death, St. Paul says that " he will hand back his King dom to God his Father," as if this Apostle would put into the mouth of Jesus Christ these words : " I have reigned, 0 my Father, in you and through you. You have reigned in me and through me. I now hand back my Kingdom to you, that we may reign through the Holy Spirit." Jesus Christ asks his Father for us in the Pater, "that his Kingdom may come." Is not this Kingdom come since Jesus Christ is King ? But let us hear what Jesus Christ himself teaches us : " That your will be done on earth as in heaven." It is as if he asked that his true reign, which must come through that of the Holy Spirit, may come, — reign where that Holy Spirit, by communicating himself to them, shall make men accomplish his will upon the earth, as it is accomplished in heaven, without repugnance, without resistance, without delay, and infallibly. " It wUl be then," Jesus Christ means to say, " that our reign, 0 my Father, wiU be consummated upon the earth. It will be then my enemies shall be made my footstool ; " and thus it will be, because the Holy Spirit, in subjecting all wills to himself, wUl subject all men to Jesus Christ and that, all wills being subjected, all spirits will also be subjected. It is this which will bring about that, when the Chap. VIL] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 199 Holy Spirit shall have renewed the face of the earth, there will be no more idolaters; all will be subjected by the Spirit to the Lord. 0 Spirit, Consummator of all things, reduce every thing to one ! But before that can be, you will be a Spirit-Destroyer. Accordingly, Jesus Christ, speaking of the Spirit that he is about to send, says : " I am not come to bring peace, but the sword. I am come to bring fire. What do I wish, - but that it should burn ? " It is necessary to be re-born of the Spirit and of water. The message (speech) is like water that flows away ; but it is the Spirit which renders it fruitful. It is this " Spirit, which vrill teach us all things ; " as Jesus Christ says, " He will take of mine :" for it is by the Holy Spirit the Word is communicated to us, as in Mary : — Spirit who teaches through the central depth. 200 MADAME GUYON. [Part 111. CHAPTER VIII. Although the Archbishop had told the Counsellor, who is guardian of my children, that I had written to him those retractations and those dreadful letters of which I have spoken, which, as the Lord showed me in a dream, they had got written by the forger who had done the first one, they did not cease, in an underhand way, urging me to write something similar, promising me complete liberty. They wished to draw from me retracta tions, and yet neither in the interrogations nor judicially had they ever required them of me, because the Doctor, who is an honorable man, was witness to it, and there was nothing which called for them, as I was never interrogated upon anything of this kind. But they hoped, in procuring this letter from me, to declare me guilty to posterity, and to show thereby they had reason for imprisoning me ; thus covering all their artifices. They further wished a pretext which might appear, and which would prove it was with justice they had caused Father La Combe to be imprisoned ; and they tried by menaces and by promises to make me write that he was a deceiver. To this I answered, that I was not unhappy in the convent nor in prison, however rigorous it might be; that I was ready to die, and even to ascend the scaffold, rather than write a falsehood ; that they had only to show my interrogations ; that I had spoken the truth as I had sworn to speak it. Chap. VIU.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 201 As they saw they could extract nothing from me, they composed an execrable letter, wherein they make me accuse myself of all sorts of crimes, even of those our Lord has given me the grace to be ignorant of: that I recognize Father La Combe has deceived me ; that I hate the hour I knew him. 0 God, you see this, and you keep sUence : you will not always keep silence. When Father La Mothe saw that people were beginning to believe he was the author of the persecution and of the imprisonment of Father La Combe, in order to excuse himself to the world, he caused it to be conveyed to Father La Combe that I had accused him. He said, " I have intreated the Arch bishop to show me the interrogations of my monk. I even wished to follow this up, and to demand the reason why he was a prisoner, but the Archbishop told me that they were matters concerning the King, with which I should not meddle." He published to all the world that I was on the point of ruining their House : that I tried to make them Quietists — I, who never spoke to them. He bethought him of another trick, in order it might never be known to His Majesty that he was the author of our persecutions. He made the Archbishop, whose director he is, consult him to know if in conscience he, the Archbishop, could set me free ; because he feared Madame Maintenon might speak in my favour. To an answer making me appear guilty. Father La Mothe, in a concerted letter, writes as if in my interest : " I think, my Lord, you may let my sister go, notwith standing all that is past ; and I answer you after having consulted God, and I do not find any objection to it." This letter is carried to His Majesty to show the probity of Father La Mothe, and to arrest any suspicion touching him. Yet they did not cease to say openly, notwithstand ing the consultation, that they do not believe in conscience they could set me at liberty, and it is on this footing they speak of it to His Majesty ; making me appear so much the more criminal as they make Father La Mothe the more 202 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. zealous. A Bishop, speaking of me one day to one of my friends, who tried to defend me: "How," said he, "do you wish to make us believe her innocent, — I, who know that Father La Mothe, her own brother, has been compelled by zeal for the good of the Church and by a spirit of piety, to carry frightful reports against his sister and his monk to the Archbishop ? He is a good man, who has done this only through zeal." This Bishop is intimate with the Archbishop : a Doctor of the Sorbonne, who is everything with the Archbishop, said the same. Although Father La Combe is in prison, we do not cease to communicate together in God, in a wonderful manner. I have seen a letter of his where he writes it to a person in his confidence. Many spiritual persons to whom our Lord has united me by a kind of maternity, experience the same communication, although I be absent, and find in uniting themselves to me the remedy for their ills. 0 God, you who have chosen this poor insignificant creature to make her the throne of your bounties and of your rigours, you know I omit many things from not knowing how to express them and from want of memory. I have told what I have been able, with an extreme sincerity and an entire truth. Although I have been obliged to write the proceedings of those who persecute me, I have not done it through resentment : since I bear them in my heart and pray for them, leaving to God the care of defending me and delivering me from their hands, without my making a movement for that purpose. / have believed and under stood that I should sincerely write all things in order that he might be thereby glorified, and that he willed that ivhat had been done in secret against his servants should one day be published upon the house-top, and the more they endeavour to hide themselves from the eyes of men the more will God make manifest all things. I experience at present two states both together. I bear Jesus Christ Crucified and Child. As a consequence Chap. VIII.] AUTOBIOGKAPIIY. 203 of the one, crosses are in great number, very severe and without cessation ; there being few days I have not many of them. As a consequence of the other, I have something childlike, simple, candid ; something so innocent that it seems to me, if my soul were put under a press, only candour, innocence, simplicity and suffering would issue from it. 0 my Love, it seems to me you have made of me a prodigy before your eyes for your sole glory. I cannot tell how it sometimes happens that when I approach the image of Jesus Christ Crucified, or ChUd, I feel myself, without feeling, suddenly renewed in one or other of these states ; and there takes place in me something of the original, which communicates itself to me in an inexplicable manner, and which experience alone can make understood — this experience is rare. It is, then, to you, 0 my Love, that I make over what I have written for you. Written this 21st of August, 1688, aged forty years, from my prison which I love and cherish. I will write the memoirs of the rest of my life through obedience, with a view to completing them one day, if it is deemed suitable. I forgot to say that I believe I felt the state of the souls who approached me, and that of the persons who were given to me, however distant these were. I call "feeling " an interior impression of what they were; especially in the case of those who passed for spiritual. I knew at once if they were simple or dissimulating; their degree and their self-love, for which things I had a repugnance to them. I recognized when they were strong in themselves, and resting on the virtue they believed themselves to have, and by which they measured others, and condemned in their mind those who were not like them, although more perfect. These persons, who believe themselves and are believed righteous, are much more disagreeable to God than certain sinners through weakness ; whom the world 204 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. regards with horror, and to whom, nevertheless, God shows very great mercies. This will only be seen at the Day of Judgment. Yet God suffers with difficulty these strong souls, of themselves so full, although they think themselves humble, because they practise certain forms of humility ; which most often only serve to augment their self-opinion. If these souls had to suffer some real humiliation, whether for some unexpected fall or public infamy, where would they be ? Then one would know their lack of solidity. If it were known how God loves true little ness, men would be astonished at it. When people speak to me of some persons of piety, my central depth rejects those who are not in the littleness of which I speak, and it admits those who are devoted to God as God wishes them, without my knowing how this takes place. I find there is in me something which rejects the evil and approves the true good. It is the same in the practise of the virtues ; this upright spirit discerns at once the true virtue from that which is it not. It is, again, the same with the Saints of heaven as with those of earth. Our Lord makes me know that which constitutes the principal character of their sanctity ; who those are who have been more annihilated, or those whom God has sanctified by action : and when some prerogative is attributed to a Saint, and it is not the one which belongs to him, this central depth rejects it without my paying attention ; but as soon as that which belongs to them is said, it acquiesces. The 21st of August, 1688, it was thought I was about to be released from prison, and everything seemed arranged for it. Our Lord made me feel in my central depth that, far from intending to deliver me, it was new snares they were spreading for me, and that they were taking counsel together the better to destroy me ; that aU they had done was only to make the King acquainted with Father La Mothe, and to give him an esteem for him. The 22nd at my waking, I was put into a state of agony. Chap. VIILj AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 205 like that of Jesus Christ agonizing and seeing the counsel of the Jews against him ; and the certainty of that plot was again given to me. I saw that there was none but you, 0 my God, who could withdraw me from their hands. I comprehend that you will one day do it by your right hand ; but I am ignorant of the manner, and I abandon all things to you. I am yours, 0 my Love, for time, and for eternity. My soul has long been completely independent of all which is not God : she has not need of any creature, and though she should be alone in the world, she would find herself infinitely content. Her indifference is entire and perfect, and she does not depend on anything whatsoever under the heaven : nothing but God occupies and fills her. This deadness of all desire, this powerless- ness to have need of any creature (I am not speaking of things necessary for a corporal life) and this perfect satiety exempt from all desire, because nothing is wanting, is the greatest mark of the entire possession of God, who alone as Sovereign Good can content the whole soul. One day, as I was thinking to myself how it happens that the soul who commences to be united to God, although she finds herself united to the Saints in God, has yet hardly any instinct to invoke them, it was put into my mind that servants have need of credit and inter cessors, but the wife obtains all from her husband even without asking him for anything. He anticipates her with an infinite love. 0 God, how little they know you ! They examine my actions ; they say I do not repeat the Chaplet, because I have no devotion to the Holy Virgin. 0 divine Mary, you know how my heart is yours in God, and the union which God has made between us in himself, yet I cannot do anything but what Love makes me do. I am altogether devoted to him and to his will. The Official came with the Doctor, the guardian of my children, and Father La Mothe, to speak to me of the marriage of my daughter. Father La Mothe, who heard 206 MADAME GUYON. [Part HI. all this, did not say a word, except that he whispered to me (believing thereby to hide his part in the persecutions, and to persuade me he had no part in them) that I was detained in the convent only about the marriage of my daughter. I made little answer to him, and I treated him as civilly and as cordially as was possible ; our Lord giving me the grace easily for love of himself to treat him so. They said to Father La Mothe I had received him very well and they were edified at it. He answered that, while I was showing him outward civility, I was abusing him under my breath. He wrote the same to my brothers, saying I had strangely illtreated him. I declare I was surprised at such an invention, and I would not have believed that one could invent in such a way. God, who never abandons those who hope in him, has done that which he had made me know he would do for me by the hand of Madame de Maintenon. It happened in the way I am about to describe : which should make us marvel at the conduct of God, and the care he takes of those who are his, while he appears most to abandon them. God had permitted the affairs of my only uncle to fall into disorder. He had a daughter, a canoness of intelligence and merit. She had a very pretty little sister, and, as Madame de Maintenon had lately established a House for girls whose fathers were ruined in the service of the King, the canoness went to present her sister to Madame de Maintenon, who was very much pleased with her, and also with her own cleverness. She begged her to remain at the House until her little sister got used to it ; but when she had become acquainted with the cleverness and the capacity of the canoness, she engaged her to remain altogether, or at least for some time, begging her to see the House fairly started. Shall I say, oh my Love, that I believe you have done this only for me ? My cousin wished to speak in my favour to Madame de Maintenon, but she found her so prejudiced against me Chap. VHI.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 207 by calumny that she had the grief to see nothing could be done in this quarter. She let me know it. I remained very content in the will of God, with this rooted conviction, that nothing would be done except through Madame de Maintenon, and that this was the way of which God had resolved to make use. I remained then very peaceful, waiting the moment of the good God, when Madame de Miramion, who had been very much prejudiced against me, and who believed me very criminal, because my enemies had persuaded her of it, came by pure providence to the convent where I was. She had much esteem for the Prioress. She asked her if she believed me misled, as she had been told. The Prioress and the nuns told her a thousand good things about me, which their charity made them see. She was amazed, for she had been assured I caused great evils in this House. She resolved to serve me through pure charity, and to speak to Madame de Maintenon, and this had a good effect. But that which above all makes us marvel at the providence of God with regard to me is that the Abbess with whom I had placed that worthy girl, the nun, who has caused me so many crosses both at Gex, and because Father La Mothe's desire to get the money I had given for her dowry has been in part the cause of the persecution he stirred up against me — this Abbess, I say, found herself obliged to come to Paris for some business. She is a relative of Madame de Maintenon ; and as she had need of arranging with me for the dowry of that girl, she complained of the Arch bishop's refusal to allow me to speak to her, and she explained it was a business of charity I was doing in favour of a poor girl, whom I was making a nun in her House. This gave an opportunity to Madame de Maintenon to speak for me, that I might be able to arrange with this Abbess. Being again entreated by my cousin, she spoke to the King, M'ho said they should 208 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. present him with a "Placet." It was brought to him, and, as it was the eve of St. Louis, I had an instinct to pray for the King that he might be enlightened as to the truth. He ordered the Archbishop to set me at liberty ; which not a little surprised and vexed him. I marvelled, 0 my God, at your divine providence, and the markedly special springs of your adorable control; since this same money, which has been the first source of all my troubles, through Father La Mothe's desire to have it, you have made, 0 my God, the means of my liberty. This Abbess did much more, for by her authority she caused to be given to Father La Mothe, as it were in spite of himself, and while fearing his practices were discovered, a letter of esteem for my piety and the pious life I had led. Chap. IX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 209 CHAPTER IX. As the Archbishop was not willing to have the worst of it, and my enemies, on seeing themselves powerless to hurt me, were only the more embittered, they resolved to inform the King that I could not be released until certain formalities had been observed. They wished to draw up a deed such as to make it appear that they were in the right, and to screen themselves from all inquiries that might hereafter be made against them ; and also to avoid the lie being given to them as to the forgeries and the reports they boasted of having against me, and their assertions that I had written and executed acts of re tractation. The Official came on Wednesday, October 1,^ 1688. After having taken the testimony of the Mother Superior as to my conduct in their convent, which she gave in the most distinct and favourable manner possible, he sent for me, and told me I must sign a deed which he had previously drawn up, and which he had had copied by his secretary. He produced two papers I had in truth myself given him on the 8th of February of the same year, 1688, which had been used by me as memoirs, to answer certain things he asked me, and which papers he had inserted at fuU length in my interrogations ; but these he would never publish, lest my innocence should thereby be known, and people should see the frightful falsehoods ' This must be a miBtake for " September." See close of chapter, dated September 20th. VOL. II. P 210 MADAME GUYON. [Part IIL which had been concocted against me, and for which reparation was due. Moreover, these papers contained the assurance and the protestations I had made of never having wandered from the sentiments of the Holy Church — my good Mother, for which I was ready to give a thousand lives. In the deed which they presented to me, he had inserted that I had given him two deeds. I refused to sign it, and, on my refusal, the Doctor, who accompanied him, told him that this word " deed" was not proper for simple papers; that they must put "papers." He would not consent. It was necessary to put "memoirs'' that I had recognized as coming from me. I saw clearly there was here some trick, and it was only for some evil purpose they brought me back two papers otherwise useless, since they were inserted at full length in my interrogation. Wherefore reproduce the two papers and suppress all the interrogations, unless to overreach me in some way? I said I would willingly sign that I had placed in his hands two memoirs of the 8th of February, 1688, provided they wrote the contents of the said memoirs ; but to say simply that I had given two memoirs, without explaining what they were, I would not do it ; that after all they had forged in my name, I ought to fear everything. He would not allow any explanation. He gave way to fearful violence against me, saying I should sign it, and swearing I was ruined if I did not do so. I had to waive this, in spite of all my reasons, to avoid their violence and with draw myself from their hands. I requested that at least the Doctor who accompanied him should sign my papers, in order that they might not be able to substitute others in their place. He would not allow this. He signed them himself; but what use was that to me, since they remained in his hands ? They told me if I signed all they requested of me the door of the convent would infallibly be opened, but if I refused there was no longer any safety for me They wished to put into tlieir deed tliat I had been in Chap. IX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 211 error ; and, in order to oblige me to sign a thing which I would rather have given my life than sign, they told me that every one makes mistakes — that this is what is meant by errors. I asked him if he meant to say " errata," as we read in books ; I would willingly do this, but as for "errors" I would never consent to that. He said to me gently enough, I should not make any difficulty ; that it was for my good ; that he asked this of me as the infallible means of withdrawing me from prison; that besides, St. Cyprian, whose fete was next day, had died in error, and he was none the less a saint ; that he himself, on becoming priest, had made a kind of abjuration of error, which he repeated to me in Latin. But when he saw I persisted in saying that I had never been in error, and that I would never sign if they inserted the word "error," he got into a frightful fury, declaring by his faith I should sign, or he would know the reason why, with frightful outbursts of violence to prove to me I was in error. They told me that the letter of Father Falconi de la Merci was prohibited at Rome, and that it had been inserted in the later editions of my book as if to support it. I answered that this letter, not being mine, was no proof that I was in error. I wished to make them write that I protested I had never wandered from the faitli, and that I would give a thousand lives for the Church. They would not. He spoke to me again about my books, although I had submitted them, and asked me if I did not condemn them of error. I said that if sentiments that were not altogether orthodox had slipped in, I submitted them, as I had always done. He wanted to have put in, and he put it in spite of me, that I renounced all sorts of errors. I said to him, " But why put in that ? " He said if I did not put it he would say I was a heretic. Finally I had to waive that objection. He added, that I forbade all booksellers and printers to sell and distribute my books. I stopped him there, and said to him, if the books were 212 MADAME GUYON. [Part IIL not good let them forbid them, that I agreed to it; but that, as for me, not having contributed to their printing, I had nothing to do in the matter. The Doctor, who saw the Official rise up in a strange fury, told me to let it pass, making me understand it was more important for me to get out of their hands. He told me afterwards he would give me, if I wished, a deed signed with his own hand, to the effect that he had advised me to sign. I was about then to sign, and I skipped one side of the sheet in order to have time for consultation. As the Abbess had permission to come and bring to me any one she pleased, I took advice ; for they had brought me back the paper which I had signed on one side, thinking it was a mistake. I was told I must at any price be got out of their hands, provided I did not insert that I had been in error. I said this was not in the deed, but that "if in my books and writings there was error, I con demned them with all my heart." They had thought to take me by surprise, but my God has not aUowed it, making me see their end, in all they demanded of me. They wished to make me put, that if there was error in my books, as well those which openly appeared as in those which did not appear, I detested them. I said I had not written any book which did not appear. I knew they had set going a rumour that I had printed books in Holland, and they desired by this deed to make me admit that it was so. I said, then, I had not made any other book. To excuse himself, the Official said, that my writings were thick enough to pass for books, and he put "writings." The Doctor, who hardly dared to speak, told him, however, I was right. If he had insisted upon putting " I had errors " I would rather have let my head be cut off than sign it. Here are the contents of the paper I had given them February 8, 1688, of which, through the mercy of God, I had kept a duplicate, in order that those into whose hands these writings may fall may see the difference Chap. IX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 213 there is between these and those which have been foisted upon me. "I urgently intreat you, gentlemen, to write two things: first, that I have never deviated from the most orthodox opinions of the Holy Church; that I have never had private opinions of my own ; that I have never taken up with any party; that I am ready to give my blood and my life for the interests of the Church; that I have laboured all my life to strip myself of my own opinions, and to submit my intelligence and my will. The second, that I have never pretended to write anything which was not conformable to the opinions of the Holy Church; that if through my ignorance anything not conformable to its opinions has slipped in, I renounce it, and I with all my heart submit to its decision, from which I never wish to deviate. That if I answer the inter rogations put to me upon the little book, it is purely through obedience, and not to maintain or defend it, as I submit it with aU my heart." I gave in that before the interrogation, and the one that foUows some days later. It is without date. It was upon a matter they tried to persuade me of, namely that aU souls who have attained to union with God, fall into ecstasy, and that this union only took place in ecstasy. "God can give a soul the same graces which produce ecstasy, although she does not lose the use of the external senses as in ecstasy, which only comes from weakness ; but she so loses all sight of self in the enjoyment of her Divine Object that she forgets aU which concerns her. It is then that she no longer distinguishes any operation on her part. The soul seems then to do nothing but receive what is profusely given to her. She loves without being able to give an account of her love, and without being able to teU what passes in her at that moment. Only experience can make comprehensible that which God operates in a soul faithful to him. While 214 MADAME GUYON. [Part IIL receiving with all her heart, she corresponds so far as she is capable to the operations of her God, sometimes observ ing him act with complaisance and love, at other times she is so lost and hid in God with Jesus Christ that she no longer distinguishes her Object, which seems to absorb her in himself." There is also added in the paper which is not signed what follows: "I declare I am so much confused when interrogated, through fear of lying without thinking of it, or, rather, of making a mistake, that I know not what I say. It seems to me all interrogation ought to cease, since I give up everything and submit them entirely ; besides, not having the little book with me, I cannot men tion the passages which justify and explain the propositions that might seem hard — as, for example, on the subject of penitences, I remember there is in the same chapter a passage where it is said, ' I do not pretend to disapprove penitences, since mortification ought to proceed at an equal pace with prayer, and even our Lord imposes on these persons penitences of all kinds, and such as those who are not conducted by that way would not even think of doing.' There may be many propositions which, in strict ness, are open to condemnation, but which, after one has seen the sequel explaining them, appear very good. I do not say this to support those which may not be approved, but to point out that there are many which carry their explanation within them." I have forgotten to say that, when it was seen the nuns spoke much good of me and declared their esteem, my enemies and some of their friends came and told them that the fact of their having esteem for me was very inju rious to their House : that it was said, I had corrupted them all and made them Quietists. They took alarm at this. The Prioress forbade the nuns to speak good of me ; so that, when I was again imprisoned, it was thought they had discovered much evil, and that made even my friends doubtful. I then saw myself rejected by all, and so Chap. IX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 215 abandoned by the whole world that it was only with pain they tolerated me in the House ; and even my friend, fearing the esteem she had for me might be injurious to her, gradually withdrew and became cold. It was then, 0 my God, that I could well say you were all things to me. I saw the nature of human respect, which leads one to betray the known truth ; for at heart they esteemed me, yet, to keep themselves in repute, they pretended the opposite. Father La Mothe went and carried to the Jesuits forged letters of a frightful character that he said were from me ; and he said he was in despair at being obliged to speak against me ; and that it was through zeal for religion he renounced the friendship he owed me. Thereby he gained over Pere de la Chaise and almost all the Jesuits. I forget many circumstances which would be extremely pertinent, but my memory has not recalled them. If I could remember all your mercies, 0 my God, and your conduct of me, one would be astonished and ravished at it, but you will that many things shall remain concealed in you. As you withdraw them from my memory, I will not seek them, for I should be grieved to write anything but what you give me, without my seeking it by reflection. I have again forgotten to say that, when I told the Official that with reason I was not willing they should insert that word " error," because I felt certain it was a snare, owing to their boasting they had in their hand a retraction, he told me he must have been a great fool not to make me put it in, and that the Archbishop would dismiss him, trying to make me understand they wanted that word for their justi fication. Five days from that, he came to make me sign the second page. I would not have done it, being quite indifferent whether I remained as I was, provided I did your wUl, 0 my God: but Madame de Maintenon sent me word to sign, and that she would inform the King of their violence ; that it was necessary to get me out of 216 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. their hands. I signed then. After which I had the liberty of the cloister. The guardian of my children went to expedite the "lettre de cachet." You permitted, 0 my God, by your providence, this letter to go astray for five days through a misunderstanding: that caused me again in this House ups and downs ; as for my heart and my soul they remained always at the same level. I have even had more perceptible joy on entering my prison than on leaving it. At last, on the eve of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross, the " lettre de cachet " was brought to me. I saw clearly, 0 my Love, you wished the Cross to be exalted in me, and when I saw the "lettre de cachet " came at that time, it was to me a good augury. I saw the continual miracles of your provi dence, and how you were conducting me bit by bit and with the hand. I saw you were taking care of me in the smallest matters, as a husband takes care of the wife he loves uniquely. Although all the time of my imprisonment had been each day an exercise of strange upsets, sometimes up and sometimes down, it is certain that the greatest was about the time of my release. My soul has never changed her situation, except as I have described. I have learned since I am at liberty, and even before, that a person who persecuted me had obtained an order to send me two hundred leagues from here, into a prison where I should nevermore have been heard of. You waited to save me, 0 my God, until things were utterly desperate. I learned one morning that no one was willing to meddle in my affair — neither Madame de Maintenon nor my cousin. From that I received a very great joy ; and when the affair has been most desperate, then I have felt again a renewal of joy. Here, then, was I very happy, even when I learned they were striving to have me placed in perpetual imprisonment — and the measures were so well taken for it, that when the "lettre de cachet" was demanded from the secretary, after His Majesty's order Chap. IX.] AUTOBIOGRAPUy. 217 had been given to set me free, he inquired if it was not for that lady whom they were about to transfer. 0 God, how you overthrow the designs of men ! 0 my Love, already I see the commencement of your promises accomplished : I do not doubt for the rest. The Abbess and my children's guardian came to fetch me, and manifested great joy ; as did all my friends. It was only the others who were extremely vexed at it. I went out, without feeling I was going out, and without being able to reflect on my deliverance. Yesterday morning I was thinking. But who are you ? what are you doing ? what are you thinking ? Are you alive, that you take no more interest in what affects you than if it did not affect you ? I am greatly astonished at it, and I have to apply myself to know if I have a being, a life, a subsistence. I do not know where I am. Externally I am like another ; but it seems to me I am like a machine that speaks and walks by springs, and which has neither life nor subsist ence in what it does. This is not at all apparent externally. I act, I speak like another ; even in a manner more free and more large, which embarrasses no one, which pleases all ; without knowing either what I do, or what I say, nor why I do it, or say it, nor what causes me to say it. On leaving the convent they took me to the Archbishop, as a matter of form to thank him. It was indeed due to him for what he had made me suffer, for I do not doubt my God has been glorified by it. Then I went to see Madame de Miramion, who indeed was rejoiced at a thing to which she had not a little contributed. I there provi dentially found Madame de Montchevreuil, who manifested much joy at seeing me delivered, and assured me Madame de Maintenon would have no less : which Madame de Maintenon herself showed every time we met. I wrote to her to thank her. A few days after my release, I went to St. Cyr to salute her. She received me most kindly, and in a marked manner. A few days before, she had declared 218 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. to my cousin how much my letter had pleased her, and that in truth our Lord gave her for me sentiments of par ticular esteem. I returned to see the Archbishop. He begged me to say nothing of what had passed. Father La Mothe, however, was in despair at my release ; but he always pretended the contrary to those who had access to me. He sent persons to spy me, and to surprise me in my words. I do not yet know what effect this will have. The Official begged Madame de Miramion not to receive me into her Community, and he came to tell me not to go there. That had not much effect, for this lady still declared her intention to take me to her House, where I am at the present moment. If God wills it, I shall one day write the continuation of a life which is not yet finished. This 20th of September, 1688. The desire I have had to obey and to omit nothing will have doubtless caused some repetitions ; they will at least serve to show you my exactness in what you order me, and that if I have omitted anything, it is either because I have not been able to express it, or through forgetfulness. Some days after my release, having heard mention of the Abbe de F — ^,' I was suddenly with extreme force and sweetness interested for him. It seemed to me our Lord united him to me very intimately, more so than any one else. My consent was asked for. I gave it. Then it appeared to me that, as it were, a spiritual filiation took place between him and me. The next day I had the opportunity of seeing him. I felt interiorly this first interview did not satisfy him : that he did not relish me. I experienced a something which made me long to pour my heart into his ; but I found nothing to correspond, and this made me suffer much. In the night I suffered extremely about him. In the morning I saw him. We remained some time in silence, and the cloud cleared off a little ; but it was not yet as I wished it. I suffered for eight whole days ; after which, I found myself united to Chap. IX.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 219 him without obstacle, and from that time I find the union increasing in a pure and ineffable manner. It seems to me that my soul has perfect rapport with his, and those words of David regarding Jonathan, that " his soul clave to that of David," appeared to me suitable for this union. Our Lord has made me understand the great designs he has for this person, and how dear he is to him. 220 MADAME GUYON. [Fart III. CHAPTER X. I SHOULD be unable to write anything more regarding my inner state ; I wUl not do it, having no words to express what is entirely disconnected from all that can fall under feeling, expression, or human conception. I shall only say that, after the state when I came back to life, I found myself for some years, before being placed in what is called the Apostolic state — that of a Mission to help others, the selfhood having been entirely consumed in the purga tory I had passed through — I found myself, I say, in a happiness equal to that of the Blessed, save for the Beatific Vision ; nothing here below affected me ; and neither at present do I see anything in heaven or in earth which can trouble me as regards myself. The happiness of a soul in this state cannot be understood without experience, and those who die without being employed in helping their neighbours, die in supreme felicity ; although overwhelmed with external crosses. But when it pleased God to honour me with his Mission, he made me under stand that the true father in Jesus Christ, and the Apostolic pastor, must suffer like him for men, bear their languors, pay their debts, clothe himself with their weaknesses. In truth, God does not do these sorts of things without asking from the soul her consent ; but how sure he is this soul will not refuse him what he asks ! He himself inclines the heart for that he wishes to obtain. It seems he then Chap. X.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 221 impresses upon it these words : " I was happy, I possessed glory, I was God; but I have quitted all that, I have subjected myself to pain, to contempt, to ignominy, to punishment. I became man to save man. If thou art wilUng to finish what remains lacking of my Passion and that I should make in thee an extension of my quality of Redeemer, it is necessary thou consent to lose the happiness thou dost enjoy; to be subjected to wants, to weaknesses, in order to bear the languors of those with whom I shall charge thee, to pay their debts, and finally to be exposed, not only to all the interior pains from which thou hast been delivered for thyself, but to all the most violent persecutions. If I had remained in my private life, I should never have suffered any persecution ; only those are persecuted who are employed to help souls." There was needed, then, a consent of immolation to enter into all the designs of God regarding the souls he destines for himself. He made me understand that he did not call me, as had been thought, to a propagation of the external of the Church, which consists in winning heretics, but to the propagation of his Spirit, which is no other than the interior Spirit, and that it would be for this Spirit I should suffer. He does not even destine me for the first conversion of sinners ; but to introduce those who are already touched with the desire of being converted, into the perfect conversion, which is none other than this interior Spirit. Since that time our Lord has not charged me with any soul without having asked my consent, and, after having accepted that soul in me, without having immolated me to suffer for her. It is well to explain the nature of this suffering, and the difference between it and what one suffers on one's own account. The nature of this suffering is something most inward, most powerful, and most special. It is an excessive torment, one knows not where it is, nor in what part of the 222 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. soul it resides. It is never caused by reflection, nor can it produce any. It causes neither disturbance, nor embar rassment ; it does not purify : and, for this reason, the soul finds it gives her nothing. Its excess does not hinder an enjoyment, without enjoyment, and a perfect peace. It takes away nothing from the sense of largeness. One is not ignorant that it is for souls one is suffering, and very often one knows the person : one finds one's self during this time united to him in a painful manner, as a criminal is attached to the instrument of his punish ment. One often bears the weaknesses that those persons ought to feel; but ordinarily it is a general indistinct pain, which oftentimes has a certain relation to the heart causing extreme pain to the heart, but violent pains, as if one pressed it, or pierced it with a sword : this pain, purely spiritual, has its seat in the same place which is occupied by the Presence of God. It is more powerful than all corporal pains, and it is yet so insensible, and so removed from sentiment, that the person who is overwhelmed by it, if he was capable of reflection, would believe that it has no existence, and that he is deceiving himself. Since God willed me to par ticipate in the Apostolic state, what have I not suffered ! But however excessive my sufferings, and whatever weak ness I may have had in the senses, I have never desired to be delivered from it : on the contrary, the charity for those souls augments in proportion as the suffering becomes greater, and the love one has for them increases with the pain. There are two kinds of pains : the one caused by the actual unfaithfulness of the souls ; the other, which is for the purpose of purifying them and making them advance. The former contracts the heart, afflicts it, weakens the sentiments, causes a certain agony, and as it were a pulling ; just as if God were drawing it to one side and the soul to the other, so that it tore the Chap. X.J AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 223 heart : this pain is more insupportable than any other, although it is not more deep. The pain of purification for another is a general indistinct pain, which tranquillizes and unites with the person for whom one suffers, and with God. It is a difference which experience alone can make intelligible. Every one with experience will understand me. Nothing equals what one suffers for persons, who very often are ignorant of it, or for others, who far from being grateful, have a repugnance to those who are con suming themselves for them through charity. All this does not diminish that charity, and there is not any death or torment one would not suffer with the utmost pleasure, to make them what God desires. The divine justice applied to a soul to make her suffer while purifying others, does not cease to make her suffer, when it is for an actual unfaithfulness, until this unfaith fulness has ceased. It is not the same in the case of purification : that takes place at intervals, and one has a respite after having suffered. One finds one acquires a certain ease with that soul, which shows that what one has suffered has purified and, for the present moment, placed the soul in the condition God wishes her. When the souls are in the right path and nothing arrests them this goes on quite evenly; but when they are arrested, there is something within which makes it known. The justice of God causes suffering from time to time for certain souls until their entire purification. As soon as they have arrived where God wishes them, one suffers no longer anything for them ; and the union which had been often covered with clouds, is cleared up in such a manner that it becomes like a very pure atmosphere, pene trated everywhere, without distinction, by the light of the sun. As M. has been given to me in a more intimate manner than any other, what I have suffered, what I am suffering, and what I shall suffer for him, surpasses any thing that can be told. The least partition between him 224 MADAME GUYON. [Part III. and me, between him and God, is like a little dirt in the eye, which causes it an extreme pain, and which would not inconvenience any other part of the body where it might be put. What I suffer for him is very different from what I suffer for others ; but I am unable to discover the cause, unless it be, God has united me to him more intimately than to any other, and that God has greater designs for him than for the others. When I am suffering for a soul, and I merely hear the name of this person pronounced, I feel a renewal of extreme pain. Although for many years I am in a state equaUy naked and void in appearance, owing to the depth of the plenitude, nevertheless, I am very full. Water filling a basin to the utmost limits it can contain, offers nothing to distinguish its plenitude ; but when one pours in more upon it, it must discharge itself. I never feel anything for myself, but when anything stirs that depth, infinitely full and tranquil, this makes the plenitude felt with such excess that it gushes over on the senses. This is the reason that makes me avoid hearing certain passages read or repeated : not that anything comes to me by external things, but it is that a word heard stirs the depth : anything said of the truth, or against the truth, stirs it in the same way, and would make it break out if continued. It may be thought that, because, during all the time, whUe faith is pleasant to the taste, one has difficulty in reading, what I speak of here will be the same thing ; that would be a mistake. In these last states it is impossible to avoid using an expression which has some signification analogous to that of the earlier states, owing to the paucity of terms, and only experience can clear up aU this : for all persons who are in the states of simple faith, accompanied by some support, and some deep savour, believe themselves at the point I mention. These last are concentrated, or rather feel stirring in them through reading or what is Chap. X.] AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 225 said to them, a certain occupation of God, which closes their mouth and often the eyes, preventing them from pursuing the reading. It is not the same here : here it is an overflowing of plenitude, a bursting up from a brim ming depth, always full for all the souls who have need of drawing water from this plenitude : here it is the divine reservoir, where the children of Wisdom incessantly draw what is needed for them, when they are well disposed ; not that they always feel what they draw there, but I indeed feel it. The things which are written must not be interpreted according to the strictness of the words ; for, if so under stood, there is hardly a perfected state which a soul of a certain degree might not believe herself to have experienced : but patience ; she will herself hereafter see this infinite difference. Even souls of the inferior degree wUl often appear more perfect than those souls perfected in love and through love ; because God, who wills these last to live with other men, and to withdraw from them the sight of so great a treasure, covers their exterior with visible weak nesses, which, like mean dirt, cover infinite treasures, and prevent their loss. If God had not entirely separated the exterior of these souls from their interior, they could no longer converse with men. One experiences that in the new life. It seems nothing more remains than to die. One finds one's self so remote from the rest of men, and they think so differently from what one thinks, that the neighbour would become insupportable ; the soul would then willingly say, " 0 my God, let your servant die in peace, since mine eyes have seen my Saviour." Souls arrived at this point are in an actual accomplished perfection, and they ordinarily die in this state, when they are not destined to aid others ; but when they are so destined, God divides the Godlike central depth from the exterior, and hands over the exterior to childlike weaknesses, which keeps the soul in a continual abstraction and total ignorance of what she VOL. II.