LIBRARY 
 
 OF THE 
 
 U N IVLRSITY 
 
 Of ILLINOIS 
 
 K589w 
 
 V.I
 
 WHITEPATOH 
 
 I. 
 
 a

 
 WHITE PATCH 
 
 A BOMANGE FOB QUIET PEOPLE. 
 
 " II faudrait avoir le courage de ne se preoccuper ni des succes du 
 salon ni de l'opinion de la presse, ni de l'eventualite des recompenses, et 
 ne s'inquieter que de se contenter soi-meme." — Alfred Stephens, Im- 
 pressions sur laPeinture. 
 
 " Wholesomeness is the salt of life." — Spanish Proverb. 
 
 IN THREE VOLUMES. 
 VOL. I. 
 
 LONDON: 
 RICHARD BENTLEY AND SON, 
 
 IJubltsfjers in ©roinarg to f^cr fHajrstj tfje ©iicm. 
 
 1887. 
 
 (J.W rights reserved.)
 
 8£3 
 
 v/.JL 
 
 v 
 n 
 
 i 
 
 TO 
 
 MRS. LYNN LINTON.
 
 CONTENTS OF YOL. I. 
 
 CHAPTEK PAGE 
 
 I. The Frame of the Picture ... 1 
 
 II. A Dozen Sets of Stairs and a 
 
 Hundred Doors ... - ... 7 
 
 III. The Old Captain of the Good Ship 
 
 doddingstead keeps a bad look out 
 
 Ahead ... ... ... 30 
 
 IV. Don Carlos ... ... ... 54 
 
 V. The Maiden of the East Stairs ... 74 
 
 VI. The Hero resembles a Wax Doll 94 
 
 VII. Sir Peter Grandison, and the Dis- 
 graceful Conduct of Mr. Grego ... 118 
 VIII. Jenny Spillett compares Matrimony 
 
 to a Pie ... ... ... 143 
 
 IX. The Whitepatch Ball ... ... 167 
 
 X. "Misfortunes never come Alone," 
 and the Story creeps up the In- 
 evitable Hill of True Life 189
 
 vm CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER } J A<1K 
 
 XI. The Housekeeper who " had such a 
 Talent for keeping People in 
 Order," and the North tramples 
 on the South ... ... ... 206 
 
 XII. The Robbery and Murder of Mr. 
 
 VjtREGO ... ... ... ~o L 
 
 XIII. The Colonel upsets his Jug of 
 
 Shaving Water, and the Dainty 
 Mrs. Spillett covers herself with 
 Dirt and Cobwebs ... ... 247 
 
 XIV. The King of Zanzibar saves himself 
 
 from Banishment by taking Arsenic 259 
 XV. Silence reigns in the Wooden Tower, 
 and the Terrible Spirit of the 
 Old Dairy again appears ... 274
 
 WHITEPATCH 
 
 -fcC*- 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 THE FRAME OF THE PICTURE. 
 
 In that extremely healthy and pleasant 
 corner which lies to the south-east and in 
 the morning sun of old England called 
 East Kent, there remain to this day evi- 
 dences of the active smuggling which was 
 formerly carried on there with the neigh- 
 bouring coast of France, not only of wine, 
 spirits, tea and tobacco and articles of dress, 
 but also of priests, bishops, and even 
 cardinals and other human contrabands in 
 the time of the great civil and religious 
 vol. i. 1
 
 A WHITEPATCH. 
 
 disturbances. Some of its charming old 
 black and white houses, and even its 
 churches, still contain their ingenious 
 hiding-places, both for the race of Adam 
 and for kegs of brandy. Could human 
 nature resist the facilities of a short run 
 from the opposite coast, when tea was 
 twenty shillings a pound, and other things 
 in proportion ? One side was thirsting for 
 English gold, the other for luxuries and 
 fineries that were practically prohibited ; 
 and, like a pair of ardent lovers, they evaded 
 law, locks, tempests, and steel, to rush into 
 each other's arms. Could such a con- 
 venient and out-of-the-way corner, with its 
 intricate ill-made roads, without sign-posts, 
 reliable maps, or willing guides, and near 
 an almost deserted shore, with safety in 
 sight across the water, tail to be discovered 
 by the ingenious Italians, agents of Rome,
 
 THE FRAME OF THE PICTURE. 3 
 
 and the hunted political and religious 
 refugees who swarmed in this country at 
 well-known periods of agitation, when 
 human conscience and life were at stake ? 
 
 In the smuggling of goods, not only did 
 the squires and farmers and the country 
 people enter heartily into the business, but 
 even the parsons and their churchwardens — 
 as is to be verified by places which the 
 natives call " hides," until recently to be 
 seen, before the restoration movement, in 
 the roofs of some of the churches and the 
 cellars and dairies of old parsonage houses. 
 The numerous natural caves in the chalk 
 land, called by the inhabitants " chalk 
 holes," were also turned to good account, 
 and their entrance was concealed by barns 
 or other outbuildings, or skilfully masked 
 by thick underwood. As far as the writer 
 is aware, these irregular proceedings of the
 
 4 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 old inhabitants of this interesting part of 
 England have never yet been brought much 
 into fiction ; but in this later part of the 
 nineteenth century, what angel from 
 heaven has any longer a divine right to 
 privacy and exclusion, or to set up a brick 
 wall against impertinence and profitable 
 curiosity ? He has been ruled out of court, 
 and the writer in the performance of his 
 duty to society can only honestly endea- 
 vour to trample down his neighbours' 
 fences with as gentle a laugh and as kindly 
 a face as the imperative circumstances will 
 allow. Neither, perhaps, has the charm of 
 their old houses, with their ghosts, hiding- 
 places, and old gardens, their hundred 
 doors, their endless strange staircases and 
 passages, caught the eye of the painter or 
 the writer with the full attention they 
 deserve.
 
 THE FRAME OF THE PICTURE. 5 
 
 Although this story is placed near the 
 present time, it must of necessity be cast 
 somewhat on the romantic lines of an elder 
 school of fiction, to be in harmony with the 
 surroundings and their associations ; hence 
 it will probably be found a jumble of old 
 and new styles, — somewhat as the milliners 
 revive an old fashion with skilful modifica- 
 tions, and pass it off on the public as a new 
 one. In the present case it is better for 
 the author honestly to confess his trick of 
 combination, and pray devoutly for a little 
 of the skill of those accomplished ladies ! 
 Some of the leading incidents and descrip- 
 tions are founded on a fair modicum of fact ; 
 the one in particular of an old library and 
 its secret hiding-places will be painted from 
 actual still life with some care, though with 
 the artist's privilege of treatment which 
 the nature of the composition demands.
 
 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 It is the author's duty, while his reader 
 is fresh, to take him through some rather 
 tiresome description. It is, however, neces- 
 sary that he should have a clear general 
 knowledge of the remarkable old house in 
 which the scene is laid, and in some cases 
 even to the point of minute particularity ; 
 otherwise he will find it difficult to under- 
 stand the exact places haunted by the 
 ghosts, the various strange hiding-places — 
 one of which only will at present be 
 described — the somewhat eccentric habits 
 of the family, and the plot of the story, in 
 which the old house plays a very important 
 part, being in truth almost one of the 
 dramatis persona?.
 
 ( 7 ) 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 A DOZEN SETS OF STAIRS AND A HUNDRED 
 
 DOORS. 
 
 Whitepatch (called in its native county 
 Whi'puth) is the name of a very ancient 
 manor in East Kent. It derives this from 
 the first house — probably a farm building 
 or stead called indiscriminately in old deeds 
 Witepatche and Doddingestede — being 
 built on a patch of bare chalk land, little 
 spots of which still show in the neighbour- 
 hood of the house like the soiled remnants 
 of departing snow. The present house, 
 although a grandchild only of the first, is 
 by no means modern, as the greater part of
 
 8 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 the existing structure was built, as far as it 
 is possible to make out through the mist of 
 contending authorities, in the early part of 
 the reign of James the First. It has not 
 only one, but several ghosts, although 
 their histories all belong to the last house ; 
 one is charming, another is terrible, and 
 the third is sad and perplexing. It has 
 several secret hiding-places — some with 
 double exits — and the strange rambling old 
 house is a veritable place of enchantment 
 for those who love that kind of thing, and 
 have the power of constructive imagination 
 to enter into its past, and a good conscience 
 that fears not the visitants of another 
 world. Its outside almost defies description, 
 so irregular is its plan, and so numerous 
 are its gables and projections. It would 
 seem as if it had been built expressly to 
 baffle an inquisitorial eye, as to the space
 
 A DOZEN SETS OF STAIRS, ETC. V 
 
 and disposition of its interior. It is chiefly 
 black and white, with a roof covered with 
 red tiles, evidently from different makers, 
 many of them almost black from age ; 
 and it has a quaint old porch at the 
 entrance, with an inner and outer door, 
 stone seats within, and a little window on 
 one side. 
 
 The house is surrounded with manv 
 charming little gardens, inclosed with brick 
 walls of different heights and construction, 
 some with raised terraces and broad walks, 
 bordered round with ancient rose and other 
 trees, so homely and pleasant, the visitor 
 lingers with regret at having to leave 
 them. Most of them have been formed 
 during the time of the present house, except 
 one, which has thick stone walls with lines 
 of brickwork, and is supposed to have 
 belonged to the second house built in the
 
 10 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 time of Edward the Third. There are snug 
 arbours in snug corners, doors with porti- 
 coes of fanciful brickwork of much simple 
 beauty and ingenuity. Some gardens are 
 square, one is long (the Long Garden) » 
 another is irregular, with odd corners and 
 walls higher than any of the others, called 
 the Magnolia Garden, though there is no 
 magnolia in it, another garden apparently 
 having been found better for them, as 
 several fine ones now flourish in one of the 
 square gardens. So individual are they 
 all, that one is impressed with the idea that 
 succeeding generations felt it their duty to 
 make a garden as a protest against the 
 taste of their predecessors ; and yet they 
 have a strong family likeness — delightful 
 in the summer with their fine old flowers, 
 terraces, arbours, and buzzing insects, and 
 warm and sheltered in winter. The Long
 
 A DOZEN SETS OF STAIRS, ETC. 11 
 
 Garden lias an interesting peculiarity. In 
 one of the walls is inserted a long line of 
 tombstones recording the life, death, and 
 virtues of a famous family of terriers now 
 extinct. It is remarkable to observe how 
 many of them met with a violent death. 
 Another garden, much larger than the rest, 
 joins itself to this little colony ; this is the 
 kitchen garden, surrounded with high solid 
 brick walls, into which there is an entrance 
 from the stables, and another entrance 
 communicates with the back court of the 
 house. Over the building, in a line with 
 the entrance porch, rises a wooden tower, 
 with a quaint old clock, surmounted by 
 a curious and ancient vane in the form 
 of a peacock. 
 
 We now enter the house, with its end- 
 less passages, staircases, and doors by the 
 hundred, so complicated and difficult to
 
 12 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 describe, that the writer can only throw 
 down material for the reader to form his 
 own picture — which, doubtless, will be the 
 best after all. 
 
 You enter the hall, not by the centre, 
 but by the left-hand corner. This is a 
 wide, spacious place, which impresses you 
 at once with its marked character. It is 
 very low, with many beams in the ceiling, 
 on which are remains of what is fondly 
 supposed to be Saxon carving ; it is, how- 
 ever with reasonable certainty considered 
 to be a part of the original house, and to 
 have been the kitchen and general living 
 room of that primitive establishment. In 
 its present state it is panelled with dark 
 oak, formed into small square panels, the 
 alternate ones of which are carved much 
 after the manner of an old oak chest ; the 
 doors and their frames are to match, with
 
 A DOZEN SETS OF STAIRS, ETC. 13 
 
 tiny carved panels running round the 
 latter. The great fireplace is in the centre 
 of the hall, facing you as you enter, almost 
 human in its suggestiveness, and with its 
 mantelpiece runs up to the ceiling. 
 Opposite this, on your right, is a long 
 high window, running the length of the 
 hall, which is filled with stained glass, 
 representing the arms of the family and 
 the endless other families with whom they 
 have been allied. The hall is furnished in 
 a comfortable, old-fashioned way, and is the 
 common property of the house at odd 
 moments, and much used in the summer. 
 So far, all is plain sailing enough. There 
 are five doors in this hall, and if their 
 position and where they lead to is carried 
 well in mind, they will, it is hoped, 
 prove a key to the house, which is as 
 intricate as a rabbit-warren or the old
 
 14 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 Ship Hotel at Brighton. The first door 
 as you enter the hall on the left is the 
 Colonel's room ; another door on the same 
 side beyond opens on the west stairs. A 
 swing-door in the left hand corner, vis-a-vis 
 to the front door, leads to the kitchen de- 
 partment. In the far corner to the right, 
 facing the window, is a curious door folding 
 into two parts, raised on a low step about 
 four inches in height — a famous trap for 
 the unwary — this opens on another little 
 hall, in which is the drawing-room door to 
 the right, and the east stairs in front of 
 you. Between this door and the window, 
 in the hall on the right, is the dining-room 
 door. 
 
 The " Colonel's room ' is the sanctum 
 sanctorum of the old Squire, Colonel Dod- 
 dingstead, formerly of the 16th Lancers, a 
 regiment of which he is very proud. No
 
 A DOZEN SETS OF STAIRS, ETC. 15 
 
 one dare address him as " Squire," how- 
 ever, except on Christmas Day, when it is 
 graciously allowed. It is a large square 
 panelled room, with deep cupboards and a 
 long low window with a broad ledge. In 
 this room many scenes in the story will 
 take place. 
 
 You open the door of the west stairs 
 and find yourself on a steep break-neck 
 flight with deep steps ; half-way upon 
 the left you come to three steep steps, 
 which take you to a strong narrow oak 
 door. This leads to the Bride's Chamber, 
 a charming room with two dressing-closets, 
 and open to the full south. One of the 
 closets is over the porch, with two pleasant 
 windows and a little fireplace. Old rose 
 trees outside cluster over the windows in 
 summer. 
 
 k.t the top of the west stairs you come
 
 16 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 to another door. This leads into a wilder- 
 ness of passages, closets, doors, and rooms 
 — the Colonel's bedroom ; Miss Dodding- 
 stead's room (his daughter); his dead son's 
 room ; the Green Chimney room ; the Oak 
 room ; the Rice-closet room ; the Four- 
 door room, with their dressing-rooms and 
 endless doors. Many rooms communicate 
 with each other, having three doors; nearly 
 all with deep closets that would hold half 
 a dozen men. The passages turn and 
 twist, mount up and descend, with two 
 doors and a space between them at certain 
 points, in such an unintelligible manner 
 that they defied all modern attempts to 
 make out their reason. 
 
 Another staircase with a door leads up 
 from these passages to the attic and store- 
 rooms above, the apple-room, the box-room, 
 the maids'-room, now a lumber-room, and
 
 A DOZEN SETS OF STAIRS, ETC. 17 
 
 the servants' sleeping-rooms. A third set 
 of stairs go down to the kitchens. 
 
 The swing-door in the hall leads to 
 another extraordinary labyrinth of kit- 
 chens, back kitchens, servants' hall, house- 
 keeper's room, pantries, store-closets, 
 linen-room, plate-room, maids' work-room, 
 the farmers' room, the brewery, the old 
 and new dairy, the cider-room with its 
 great press — no longer used, the laundry, 
 larders, cellars, and the Brick Chimney 
 room with its very remarkable old board 
 of great width, cut from a tree struck by 
 lightning, on which to brush the gentle- 
 men's clothes. 
 
 We will stay an instant at the door of the 
 housekeeper's room to say " Good-day " to 
 the great Mr. Harrison the butler, and his 
 skilful wife, housekeeper and head cook. 
 Would the gentlemen like a glass of old 
 
 VOL. I. 2
 
 18 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 ale, and wouldn't the ladies like to see the 
 plate-room ? The ale is drunk — it must 
 be ! — the plate-room visited, and we return 
 again to the old hall. 
 
 On our way we encounter a very fair 
 good-looking young woman, with a certain 
 air of superiority, and charmingly dressed, 
 as neatly and freshly as if she had just 
 come .out of the basket from the laundry 
 — this is Mrs. Spillett, maid and confi- 
 dential friend of the heroine, Mary Dod- 
 dingstead, the Squire's granddaughter and 
 heiress. 
 
 We now come to the haunted part of 
 the house (excepting the old dairy — not 
 at present to be described — which is under 
 the entrance hall, and which is haunted by 
 the " terrible " spirit mentioned before, 
 where was supposed to be the entrance 
 to the subterranean passage leading to the
 
 A DOZEN SETS OF STAIRS, ETC. 19 
 
 church — lost to the family at the time the 
 story opens). Passing through the door 
 that folds back in the middle, we see 
 the east stairs mounting up straight a 
 long way before us. Halfway up the first 
 flight — there are two in a direct line — is 
 a door on the left, this leads to the clock 
 tower and the roof. At the top of the first 
 flight is a small landing with a door 
 generally left open. From this landing 
 to the right a short flight of stairs ascends 
 to a passage. In this the first door on the 
 left is the Don Quixote room, a gloomy, 
 dismal place with a window near the 
 ground, and the walls painted with the 
 history of Don Quixote and his philoso- 
 phical squire — a room much haunted by 
 the maiden of the east stairs — generally 
 allotted to young bachelors. 
 
 The next door to the left is the White
 
 20 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 Closets' room, so called from two large 
 closets, or dressing-rooms, which open out 
 of it ; these are panelled and painted 
 white. This is the state bedroom. On 
 the right is a peculiar-looking low door 
 opposite the door of the White Closets' 
 room. This opens into the old library, 
 haunted by one of the squires, Richard 
 Doddingstead, who shot his son through 
 the window in the dark, when he joined the 
 Grovernment at the time of the Jacobites, 
 and brought a party of them to search the 
 house for a refugee. This room is too 
 serious to be lightly mixed up with other 
 descriptions, as it contains the ghostly 
 writing on the window and two secret 
 hiding-places. We return, then, to the 
 first landing. 
 
 On looking up the second flight of steps 
 you see fronting you the full length
 
 A DOZEN SETS OF STAIRS, ETC. 21 
 
 portrait of a young girl of about seven- 
 teen, in a white dress with a red flower 
 in her hair. This has a pale oval face of 
 great sweetness, with sad, shy, dark eyes, 
 dark brows, tan-coloured hair, and a full 
 sensitive mouth of a deep crimson red 
 (a beautiful and interesting face), and 
 is the portrait of Margaret Doddingstead, 
 who haunts all this part of the house, 
 except the old library, where she has 
 never been seen. 
 
 Ill-treated and even beaten by her step- 
 grandmother — time, latter part of the reign 
 of James the First — for not renouncing her 
 lover, one Ralph Spillett, a wild youth — 
 she had been shut up on a bitter winter 
 night in the Don Quixote room, whence she 
 escaped by the window (one of her shoes 
 was found in a bush underneath) to the 
 seashore : there she was discovered the
 
 22 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 next morning by a fisherman lying dead 
 under an upturned boat, where she had 
 crept for shelter ; and (tradition saith) 
 "her face was whiter than the foam." 
 The grandfather turned his wife out of 
 doors, and made her pass a night in the 
 garden ; but she lived long enough to set 
 up a very handsome monument to his 
 memory and her own, according to the 
 fashion set by James the First, and which 
 will afterwards be seen in the old church, 
 when we come to the rediscovery of the 
 underground passage. 
 
 On the right of the picture, at the top of 
 the second flight, is another door, high and 
 narrow, by this you again mount two steep 
 steps into a long straight passage from 
 which open numerous other rooms, seldom 
 used unless there is a press of visitors at 
 the Manor. Out of this, one staircase
 
 A DOZEN SETS OF STAIKS, ETC. 23 
 
 leads up to more servants' rooms above, 
 and at the extreme end of the passage, 
 another descends to the offices below. 
 This latter has a strange peculiarity, 
 having doors at the top and bottom and 
 another in the middle, intended, it is said, 
 to facilitate an escape by these stairs. 
 
 A short way down the passage on the 
 right another door leads down by a short 
 handsome flight of winding stairs to the 
 Children's Garden — a delightful little set 
 of rooms all to themselves, consisting of 
 a panelled sitting-room, rather low, but 
 square and comfortable, with pleasant 
 windows, one forming a deep recess ; 
 two bedrooms, panelled also, and another 
 small room — at this time turned into a 
 carpenter's shop for our heroine — and a 
 small entrance hall at the bottom of the 
 stairs, from whence another wooden stairs
 
 24 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 leads down outside the walls into one of 
 the little gardens we have mentioned, a 
 sheltered, pretty place, and only over- 
 looked by the windows of the rooms just 
 mentioned . 
 
 In the little hall was a large closet under 
 the stairs, into which you could only enter 
 by stepping over a high board at the 
 bottom of the door. This whole set be- 
 longed to the second house (time, Edward 
 the Third), and had always been used as 
 the nursery until recently. The whole 
 little block was called indiscriminately the 
 Children's Garden. 
 
 This was occupied by our heroine, Mary 
 Doddingstead ; her maid, Jenny Spillett ; 
 her monkey, the King of Zanzibar ; her 
 parrot, the famous Mr. Grego ; and in 
 the garden below by her white goat, the 
 Queen of Sheba ; several stoats ; Poacher,
 
 A DOZEN SETS OF STAIRS, ETC. 25 
 
 an old weasel ; some ferrets, and a cage of 
 rats. 
 
 We return now to the bottom of the 
 east stairs. Standing at the door that 
 folds into two parts on our right in the 
 little hall is a large cupboard door. A little 
 way beyond it, on the same side, is the 
 drawing-room. We first enter here. It is 
 a fine, well-proportioned room, panelled 
 throughout ; the room is hung with family 
 portraits of all sizes, and with old mirrors. 
 The old furniture is in harmony with the 
 place ; it is lighted by three windows, of 
 which the one in the centre is larger than 
 the others. At the end of this room, near 
 the entrance door on the right as you go 
 in, is a large old japanned cabinet, with 
 a writing-place at the bottom and with 
 glass above. Inside is a closely packed 
 collection of stuffed birds.
 
 26 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 At the far end of the room, to the left 
 of the fireplace, a door leads into a small 
 but pleasant room, called the morning- 
 room, which opens into the Magnolia 
 Garden, and has an exit on the left to 
 the servants' quarters ; and beyond this 
 room again is another small room full 
 of old china, glass, and the countless little 
 treasures that accumulate in an old country 
 house. The morning-room is the exclusive 
 property of Miss Doddingstead, the old 
 Squire's daughter, where she plays at 
 housekeeping, although she has little real 
 authority in the house. 
 
 We return to the hall, and visit the 
 dining-room, a square good-sized room, 
 again panelled, and with handsome wooden 
 ceiling painted by an Italian hand, two old 
 clocks, portraits, sea pictures, and land- 
 scapes, with a curious old walnut-wood
 
 A DOZEN SETS OF STAIRS, ETC. 27 
 
 buffet, which rises high to display the plate 
 on state occasions ; two windows with deep 
 seats and cupboards underneath, and a beau- 
 tiful steel fender on the hearth brought from 
 Toledo. Once more we return to the door 
 which folds into two parts. On the right is 
 the cupboard door we have mentioned, which 
 goes down to the ground, and on opening it 
 you disclose a simple place with rows of 
 narrow shelves for jam pots or other pre- 
 serves. But on taking hold of the middle 
 shelf and pulling outwards, the whole back 
 of the closet slides out towards you, and 
 then turns like a door on its hinges, and you 
 find a narrow entrance to a little long room 
 inside, between the walls of the dining- 
 room and drawing-room. On entering, 
 you are surprised to find that you can see 
 distinctly through the cabinet of stuffed 
 birds into the drawing-room, that there are
 
 28 WHITE PATCH. 
 
 glass doors at the back of the cabinet 
 which open inwards to the little room, and 
 the occupant can open these, pass his hand 
 through the birds, push open the other 
 glass doors and find himself in communica- 
 tion through the birds with any one who 
 may be in the drawing-room. At the end 
 of this little room, high up, was a bed- 
 place in the wall, as one sees in Dutch or 
 Swiss cottages to this day. Low down in 
 the right hand corner at the bed end was 
 a small tunnel, so to speak, which com- 
 municated with one of the side cupboards 
 of the buffet in the dining-room, and the 
 occupant could be comfortably nourished 
 by a skilful and devoted attendant — even 
 should his enemies be seated at table in 
 the dining-room — and it is alleged that 
 one of the most important secrets of the 
 Government during the time of William
 
 A DOZEN SETS OF STAIKS, ETC. 29 
 
 the Third was surprised in this way. 
 Over the bed was a sliding panel by 
 which a second refuge could be found in 
 case of extreme danger in another little 
 dark chamber over this one, between the 
 Don Quixote and the White Olosets'-room 
 above. 
 
 The house has the singular, most 
 singular good fortune, for one of these old 
 houses, by a happy accident (doubtless 
 at the time thought to be a defect), to have 
 all its principal rooms looking to the 
 south and east. Altogether it is a warm, 
 cheerful, and pleasant abode that one does 
 not easily get tired of — for those who from 
 long habit regard its ghostly visitants as 
 part of the establishment.
 
 30 WIIITEPATCH. 
 
 CHAPTER HI. 
 
 THE OLD CAPTAIN OF THE GOOD SHIP DOD- 
 DINGSTEAD KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT 
 AHEAD. 
 
 There are two ways of conducting a 
 story which are most commonly observed. 
 One is to dash the reader off at a great 
 pace, and then to proceed with more and 
 more deliberation until the journey ends. 
 The other, is to proceed very quietly for 
 the first few miles, then to whip up your 
 horses to the best of their going powers 
 for the rest of the journey, taking care, 
 however, to bring them into the stables a 
 little cooled down at the end. The latter
 
 THE CAPTAIN KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT. 31 
 
 is the mode of proceeding adopted by the 
 writer. 
 
 If human beings were constructed like 
 watches or steam, engines, how com- 
 paratively easy it would be to draw their 
 characters with consistency of action. 
 Perhaps the weather bears the closest 
 analogy to ourselves in unexpectedness 
 and inconsistency. For, indeed, as we all 
 know, some of us are more difficult and 
 infinitely more tiresome to calculate on 
 than even the weather at spring time. 
 Others, again, can be gauged with tolerable 
 nicety as to what they will do in any 
 given circumstance of life. Fortunately 
 (for the writer) the chief types of character 
 that will appear in the present little story 
 are of the latter kind, having that quality 
 we call obstinacy which, however obstruc- 
 tive, trying, and difficult it may be some-
 
 32 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 times to cope with, has nevertheless, when 
 joined to goodness and sturdy honesty, 
 a constancy and loyalty that can at any 
 rate be relied upon. Obstinacy has also 
 another fine quality that endears itself in 
 the long run to those who are brought 
 closely into contact with it — the power of 
 attaching itself so firmly that no abuse or 
 depreciation of others, no misfortune or 
 poverty, or even indeed ill-treatment and' 
 careless neglect on your part (it must be 
 careless and not deliberate), will destroy 
 its affection for you. But on the other 
 hand, a cold-blooded wound to its affection, 
 its pride, ay, or its humility (of all the 
 most sensitive), or a direct slight or want 
 of appreciation of its good-will and inten- 
 tion towards you will never be forgiven, 
 as being the worst crime against its own 
 nature.
 
 THE CAPTAIN KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT. 33 
 
 Mary Doddingstead was an orphan who 
 had lived in much seclusion from the outer 
 world. After the early deaths of her 
 father and mother, her grandfather had 
 retired from the world and society as much 
 as his position as an active magistrate and 
 county magnate would allow. She had, 
 however, been educated with great care 
 under a highly accomplished Dutch- 
 woman, Miss Yan Tromp, the daughter 
 of a distinguished artist who had died 
 leaving little but an honoured name. This 
 lady, however, held advanced Radical 
 opinions which the simple old Colonel had 
 never even suspected or discovered, having 
 taken her on trust on the warm recom- 
 mendations of friends. He was himself a 
 staunch Conservative of the knotted-oak 
 kind, on whom no political storms or social 
 change of any kind had any appreciable 
 
 VOL. I. 3
 
 34 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 effect. Miss Van Tromp had, however, 
 behaved honestly to her charge in this 
 respect, as in others ; but the quick per- 
 ceptions of Mary had not failed to catch 
 by intuition the bias of her governess's 
 mind from the books and matters which 
 they discussed together. Her high moral 
 character and strong sense of duty had, 
 however, equally impressed themselves on 
 her pupil's mind. She had returned to 
 her own country about six months before 
 the opening of this story, and Jenny 
 Spillett had taken her place as friend and 
 companion to Mary. Nor had our heroine 
 gained any knowledge of general society 
 and the world through the second-hand 
 medium of novels, as the old Colonel would 
 never allow one to enter the house, if he 
 could help it. Mary had, however, read 
 much modern literature, and for a secluded
 
 THE CAPTAIN KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT. 35 
 
 girl of her age was remarkably well- 
 informed on the general topics of the day, 
 and had some real and sound knowledge 
 of music, painting, and foreign languages, 
 having worked hard from the age of eight 
 to seventeen under Miss Van Tromp. Her 
 general appearance may be briefly described 
 in saying she strongly resembled the 
 picture of Margaret Doddingstead. Some 
 thought her only interesting and dis- 
 tinguished, many thought her beautiful, 
 but all acknowledged she had a remarkably 
 pretty figure, and that she had sincere 
 and natural manners. She certainly had 
 very beautiful rich dark eyes, and a ripe 
 mouth with a very sweet expression. Her 
 eyes, however, had sometimes that far-off 
 look which belongs to those who have an 
 alarming facility for slipping away from 
 this crushing world, if adversity or mis-
 
 36 WEIITEPATCH. 
 
 fortune should press them too closely to 
 the wall. Jenny Spillett thought Miss 
 Yan Tromp " would have worked her to 
 death " if she had stayed much longer ; but 
 this young person may have been a little 
 jealous on hearing so often of the virtues 
 and accomplishments of the Dutchwoman. 
 
 But Jenny Spillett must now have a 
 word on her own account, as she is our 
 supplementary heroine who will play a 
 very leading part in this story. 
 
 She was a capital specimen of the human 
 cob, round, firm and well built, active and 
 bright in movement, of invincible courage 
 up-hill, knocking up more showy animals 
 and gaining the owner's warmest affection. 
 She had fine penetrating blue eyes, and 
 bright wavy fair hair of remarkable length 
 and abundance, a broad forehead well 
 developed over the brows, a brilliant fair
 
 THE CAPTAIN KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT. 37 
 
 complexion, and a generous mouth with 
 much spirit and firmness, a short audacious 
 nose, which, however, was pretty and 
 individual, a roundish face, and a very 
 well-formed little chin. Her history was 
 somewhat remarkable. She was the 
 daughter and only child of John Spillett, 
 head coachman at the Manor, formerly 
 faithful friend and servant of Mary's 
 father. Detained by illness at Boulogne 
 on his way home, his servant fell in love 
 with one of the sturdy daughters of that 
 most hard-headed aristocratic and exclusive 
 race the Boulogne fishermen. After having 
 conveyed his master safely across the water, 
 John returned, and with the magnet of his 
 fine blue eyes and his courteous manners 
 drew his lady love also across the water in 
 the Boulogne steamer, and married her after 
 a tremendous fuss, and four French luggers
 
 9 
 
 8 WHITE PATCH. 
 
 coming with much jabbering into Folke- 
 stone harbour in pursuit of him. The 
 Colonel so admired the bride and this 
 daring act of the two lovers, that he 
 enabled her to assist her father in settii 
 up a new lugger, which appeased the old 
 fisherman's aristocratic pride in a remark- 
 able manner. John Spillett was the son of 
 the famous Tom Spillett, huntsman at the 
 Manor when the Doddingsteads kept the 
 hounds, a local celebrity of whom manv 
 stories are told to this day of his skill and 
 daring in the field. Tom Spillett was son 
 of John Spillett, Esq., of Ixstead, in the 
 county of Kent, gentleman, of a good old 
 family in East Kent of the thorn-tree 
 kind (for may not old families be com- 
 pared to trees in many ways ? some 
 growing up into lordly consequence and 
 spreading out many fine branches that
 
 THE CAPTAIN KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT. 39 
 
 overshadow their neighbours, and others 
 which may be even older and yet ever 
 remaining much as they were). This 
 gentleman was wild and extravagant be- 
 yond all measure, from his youth upwards 
 ever in the hands of the Jews, and finally 
 dying in a madhouse without an acre or a 
 penny in the world. 
 
 Jenny Spillett had little resemblance to 
 her beautiful dark-eyed mother, except in 
 the character of mind belonging to her 
 race, their sturdy good sense and indepen- 
 dence, and their manner of regarding 
 tilings au point de vue absolu ; but she had 
 her buxom figure, personal strength and 
 elasticity, though without clumsiness, and 
 that air of something out of the common 
 herd peculiar to the Boulogne tribe. She 
 had also a way of balancing herself on her 
 hips that, given the dress, one would never
 
 40 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 have been surprised to see her standing 
 with her arms akimbo or dragging in a 
 lugger into Boulogne harbour. And yet 
 she showed her father's race in the delicacy 
 of her skin and ears, in the fineness of her 
 wrists and ankles, and in the small waist 
 which her mother had not. Her hands 
 had short ringers, with square tips and 
 extremely short flat nails, which were how- 
 ever delicate and pink. Altogether she 
 was the happy result often seen from a 
 union of pure French and English blood 
 that has been a true love match. 
 
 Jenny Spillett was about five years older 
 than her young mistress. She had been her 
 friend, protector in ordinary, and playfellow 
 at odd times from Mary's childhood, and 
 possessed not a little influence over her. 
 She had been sent by her father to a very 
 good school at Canterbury, and nearly the
 
 THE CAPTAIN KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT. 41 
 
 whole of his high wages had been spent on 
 her education ; but it had been her early 
 passion to become a milliner and dress- 
 maker, for the pure love of it, and for which 
 no doubt she had great natural taste and 
 capacity. Against her father's wishes she 
 had been placed with the great Madame de 
 
 Gros, in Street, so famous for her taste 
 
 and skill, her rapacity, her obligingness, 
 and her bullying carried to a fine art. 
 After spending five years there, her father 
 declared he would have her no longer 
 remain in such a " devil's hothouse," and 
 she returned and entered Mary's service. 
 She had, however, a reason of her own for 
 so doing, or she would not have shown 
 such an exemplary example of obedience to 
 parents. She was a great reader and close 
 observer, as well as remarkably skilful with 
 her hands ; but she gave at first some
 
 42 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 trouble in the house from her independence 
 of character and what the old Colonel called 
 her " unruly tongue." Mrs. Poyser was 
 her great heroine and model. She would 
 allow no one to enter her mistress's rooms, 
 and did all the cleaning herself. This gave 
 rise to her great squabble with Mr. and 
 Mrs. Harrison, in which also the Colonel 
 and Miss Doddingstead were against her, 
 but Mary was on her side, and she carried 
 her point. 
 
 Mary had just returned from a visit of 
 six weeks into Gloucestershire, the first 
 and only visit she had ever paid, and 
 although she looked happy in a certain 
 way, those who knew her best observed 
 that she had a different expression and 
 manner from her ordinary one, which did 
 not even escape the Colonel's eye, little 
 given to studying faces ; but he only
 
 THE CAPTAIN KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT. 43 
 
 thought it was the relaxing air of other 
 English counties. Her visit, which was 
 to have been a short one, had been pro- 
 longed in a manner somewhat incompre- 
 hensible to her grandfather, but as he was 
 intent on fabricating a new lubricator for 
 the old clock in the tower (which he would 
 allow no one to touch or even repair but 
 himself), the time had passed rapidly, as 
 it does to our elders, and he grumblingly 
 assented to her remaining, though he 
 missed her continually, and daily asked 
 when she was coming home. 
 
 It was a fine October morning, and 
 Mary was seated in an armchair in her 
 sitting-room, with a letter of many sheets 
 in her hand. Mrs. Spillett (she must have 
 now her proper title) was cleaning out the 
 cage of Mr. Grego. 
 
 11 What shall I do, Spillett ? " said Mary,
 
 44 WIIITEPATCII. 
 
 taking up one of the sheets from her la}), 
 arranging it with the others, and smooth- 
 ing them tenderly between her fingers. 
 
 " I know what / should do, ma'am ' 
 (Mary was always addressed as " ma'am," 
 by the Colonel's orders), "I should coax 
 the Colonel out for a ride, and tell him 
 all about it, and that he must give his 
 consent." 
 
 " You do not know him as well as I do, 
 Spillett ; I fear he never will. Captain 
 Wyldeman says he cannot think why grand- 
 papa has such a deadly dislike to his 
 father, unless it was something that 
 happened between the in, when they were 
 both in the same regiment together, and 
 that our only chance is to marry without 
 his knowing it, and then he will be obliged 
 to forgive me — but I will never do that." 
 said Mary, her eyes looking far into space.
 
 THE CAPTAIN KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT. 45 
 
 " Did you ever bear anything, Spillett, about 
 Sir Jobn and grandpapa ? " 
 
 " I have heard a little, ma'am, from 
 father. He says every one knows they had 
 a disagreement, and that it must have been 
 about a lady ; but Mr. Harrison says he 
 believes it was something very bad about 
 monev, and that Sir John is like all his 
 family, a little queer." 
 
 " No, not all, Spillett. I am sure Captain 
 Wyldeman is good ; and Lady Worthing- 
 ham says he is quite different from the 
 rest of his family." 
 
 Here a violent scream from Mr. Grego, 
 who objected to Spillett's somewhat rapid 
 way of arranging his domestic comforts. 
 
 " Naughty bird ! " cried Mary with un- 
 usual irritation. 
 
 " Oh, ma'am," resumed Spillett, when the 
 bird had been quieted, " I dare say it's
 
 46 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 nothing very bad, it is only the Colonel, 
 who is so plump down in his notions, it is 
 impossible for some people to please him." 
 
 " I fear it is worse than that, from the 
 look in his face, when Aunt Augusta said 
 something yesterday about the Wyldenians." 
 
 " Oh, ma'am, but this is a very different 
 affair, when a real young gentleman who 
 cares for you, and you care for him, and 
 who has got everything else in money and 
 all that, wants to marry you ; he can't say 
 * No ' only because he and the young gentle- 
 man's father don't agree." 
 
 " I am afraid he is getting very im- 
 patient," said Mary, glancing at her letter. 
 " He talks of coming down here. I wish I 
 had written and told grandpapa at once." 
 
 " 1 don't agree with you at all, Miss 
 Mary," said Spillett, warming to her 
 subject, and forgetting proscribed con-
 
 THE CAPTAIN KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT. 47 
 
 ventionalities ; " a little bit of coaxing, with 
 a nice kiss, is worth all the letters in the 
 world when you want to get the better of 
 a man. Men are mostly slow, and they get 
 time to set their brains hard when they sit 
 down deep over a letter ; but if you can only 
 catch a ' Yes ' out of them, they keep to it 
 for the most part, I must say, for men don't 
 like to have it thought they go from their 
 word, however much they would like to." 
 
 "Do you think an impatient man would 
 make a bad husband, Spillett ? He is 
 certainly impatient," said Mary, pursuing 
 her own train of thought. 
 
 " No, indeed, ma'am ! they are much the 
 easiest to manage. It's the cool ones you 
 
 can't get round. 
 
 V 
 
 " And it's only a little more than three 
 years to wait, and then I can do as I like, 
 I suppose, really. But I won't disobey
 
 48 WHITEPATCIT. 
 
 grandpapa. I have quite made up my 
 mind to that." 
 
 " I shouldn't wait three years ! ' said 
 Spillett. " Men are always on the move, 
 and women are so artful, and men are so 
 scarce and so weak, you never know who 
 may not entice him away from you ; and 
 who knows, also, the Colonel may be find- 
 ing some one else for you." 
 
 Mary, at this dreadful thought, looked 
 very sad ; but she said, " she was certain 
 Captain Wyldeman would never change to 
 her, if he had to wait even till her grand- 
 father's death." 
 
 " But you seem quite altered, Miss Mary, 
 and not to be as sprightly as you used, — but 
 that comes of caring too much for a man ; 
 when a woman does that she may just as 
 well take to her bed at once, like other sick 
 folks."
 
 THE CAPTAIN KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT. 49 
 
 " Oh, the king ! what is he doing, 
 Spillett ? " exclaimed Mary. 
 
 The king was the small monkey, who, 
 taking advantage of the unusual absence of 
 vigilant inspection was deliberately tearing 
 photographs out of an album. When this 
 melancholy exile from a land of refreshing 
 cocoanuts, and a temperature of one hundred 
 and twenty degrees, had been restored to 
 order, Mary returned to the dominant key 
 of her difficulty. 
 
 " I am certain he will say no, Spillett ; 
 and nothing on earth will make him alter 
 his mind. It was very wrong of me to 
 make an engagement ; but he pleaded so 
 hard, and I had quite made up my mind I 
 should never care for any one else now." 
 
 " Don't you be too sure of that, ma'am ; 
 
 lovers are like everything else that's nice 
 
 to the taste, till you get hold of something 
 vol. i. 4
 
 50 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 else that is quite as nice, or perhaps nicer. 
 I would never let any man think he was 
 quite sure of me, until I was actually 
 stitched to his back by the parson, and 
 even then it isn't quite safe to let a man 
 think he is the only sweet stuff in the 
 world ; they are apt to turn sour, and not 
 to keep well if you do that." 
 
 Poor Mary opened her eyes a little at 
 this philosophical love-making, and reflected 
 that Miss Yan Tromp's receipts for this 
 kind of thing, when she had ever condes- 
 cended to express an opinion on the subject, 
 were of a very different nature, tending 
 rather to entire trust and submission to 
 the divine hero of a woman's affections ; 
 but, then, Miss Yan Tromp had never had 
 a lover, as the honest creature frankly 
 avowed, and we all know distance lends 
 enchantment, even in the matter of lovers,
 
 THE CAPTAIN KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT. 51 
 
 but she only said, " What can I do, if he 
 does refuse, Jenny ? ' 
 
 " But you mustn't let him say ' No,' Miss 
 Mary ; you must say 'Yes ! yes ! yes ! ' and 
 stick to it. Old gentlemen are all very well 
 when they keep to their marriage parch- 
 ments and all that kind of thing, to see 
 the lawyers and other people's relations 
 are not digging a sly advantage some- 
 where ; but when they come to put their 
 finger into Cupid's cobweb, they must be 
 taught that they are spoiling something 
 worth all the old gentlemen in the world, 
 and that can never be put together 
 again." 
 
 " But you forget, Spillett, that grand- 
 papa has our name to consider ; and the 
 Doddingsteads have always been very 
 particular about their marriages and their 
 good name." 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF 
 ILLINOIS LIBRARY
 
 52 WHITE PATCH. 
 
 The young heiress was not pleased at 
 Spillett's tone about her grandfather. 
 
 " Well, yes, Miss Mary, I quite enter 
 into all that also. Good blood is a delicate 
 matter to deal with, I know, though it is 
 from being too nice that it sometimes gets 
 thin and poor ; and I know a good name 
 is often blown away as easily as a thistle. 
 But when it only comes to crotchets and 
 quarrels, there is more of pride in it than 
 anything else ; and the Colonel would be 
 worse than silly to put his feelings before 
 yours. But gentle folks are three parts 
 made up of feeling this and feeling that 
 about something or another that plain 
 folks don't feel anything about at all. You 
 may be sure that it is only something about 
 Sir John that wasn't nice and as it ought 
 to be ; if it was anything very dreadful, 
 every one would know what is was, and
 
 THE CAPTAIN KEEPS A BAD LOOK OUT. 53 
 
 nobody seems to know anything exactly, — 
 besides, you don't want to marry Sir 
 John." 
 
 Mary was a little encouraged by this 
 common-sense view of matters. 
 
 " I will go and see if I can find him, 
 Jenny," and she departed, patting her hair 
 with both hands as she went out of the 
 room.
 
 54 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 DON CARLOS. 
 
 Colonel Doddingstead had a passion for 
 clockwork. In bis younger days, when 
 travelling with his tutor, he had obstinately 
 persisted in remaining some time at Geneva, 
 to be initiated into the mysteries of this 
 delicate art. On his return home, he had 
 triumphantly established his talent in this 
 direction by setting on it legs after many 
 years silence the old clock in the tower, 
 which had been tinkered at by all the 
 watchmakers in Canterbury, and which 
 was a veritable Thomas Loombes of the 
 time of Charles the Second (a specimen of
 
 DON CARLOS. 55 
 
 whose solid and excellent workmanship is 
 to be seen any day at the Guildhall Museum 
 and in a few private collections). The 
 date and name of the maker were engraved 
 on the dial ; hence, from the solemn 
 dignity with which it announced the hour 
 on its deep and beautiful bell, and the 
 name of the king who reigned when it 
 was made, it had been early christened in 
 the family, Don Carlos. 
 
 But alas, the original bell, so famed for 
 the beauty of its tone, and said to have 
 been of solid silver, had mysteriously dis- 
 appeared long before the Colonel was born, 
 and a tradition only of its excellence re- 
 mained. (The reader, however, may be 
 informed that the bell was on the premises 
 all the time.) Great had been the distress 
 of the Colonel about this bell ; he would 
 not have a modern one, and he had vainly
 
 56 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 tried to get an old one that pleased him. 
 Many ancient institutions and small town 
 halls, both at home and abroad, had been 
 astonished by a visit from the Colonel, with 
 liberal offers to buy the bell of their clock, 
 but as he was mostly regarded as a well- 
 to-do lunatic, his offer had never been 
 accepted — not taking into account that 
 none of the authorites for the time being" 
 had any power to sell. Finally, after much 
 searching of old books on the subject of 
 bell-making, he decided to have one cast 
 for himself in Belgium, but as he insisted 
 on the makers following exactly under his 
 own superintendence his own theories of 
 form and mixture of metals, the bell when 
 it was at last put in its place gave a 
 sound that strongly reminded unprejudiced 
 listeners of a blow with a hammer on an 
 iron tank. The Colonel, however, en-
 
 DON CARLOS. 57 
 
 deavoured to pursuade himself that it had 
 a beautiful tone, and was just what an old 
 bell ought to be, though he occasionally 
 admitted that if he had to cast it again 
 he thought he could make an improvement. 
 As we have said, no one but himself 
 ever wound up or ever repaired this clock ; 
 and except in very cold weather, trying 
 to aged clocks as well as mortals, when 
 allowances must be made, it was seldom 
 wrong much more than ten or fifteen 
 minutes in the week. Let any one ever 
 venture to hint that was not the right 
 time ! " The railways, indeed ! Every one 
 knows they keep wretched time, and alter 
 their clock for their own convenience." 
 And the worthy old Eector, the Colonel's 
 long-known friend, had to steal round and 
 compromise matters on a Sunday morning 
 before the service began. It is true the
 
 58 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 congregation was somewhat small and 
 rural, and not very rigid in its notions of 
 time on a Sunday, but the Colonel was 
 nevertheless much scandalized if they came 
 in late to church, making a noise. 
 
 Justice must, however, be done to the 
 honest old Rector. On a former occasion 
 he had made a very sturdy fight for the 
 good reputation of his own old clock in the 
 church tower, regulated by a man from 
 Canterbury ; but so severe became the 
 strain over this elementary point in home 
 government, that the Rector, finding the 
 Colonel hopelessly entrenched in his own 
 opinion, decided that he was worth all the 
 clocks and regulators in the county, and 
 generously offered to place the church clock 
 under his own management, which delight- 
 ful offer was immediately accepted, and the 
 terrible little storm which had threatened
 
 DON CARLOS. 59 
 
 to root up this old friendship passed harm- 
 lessly over — the two fine old gentlemen 
 dining happily together the same evening 
 at the Manor, the Rector arriving with 
 the greatest punctuality as Don Carlos was 
 striking seven. It is with regret, how- 
 ever, that the candid historian has to allude 
 gently to a certain rumour which arose not 
 long afterwards in the neighbourhood of 
 something or another in the way of a catas- 
 trophe, or something of that nature, having 
 occurred in the church tower — probably 
 caused by birds building their nests — but 
 as the Rector was absolutely ignorant of 
 the matter, we can only conclude it was 
 set going by the very gossiping servants 
 at the Rectory, who missed not a little the 
 periodical fresh-baked supply of news 
 brought to them by the regulator from 
 Canterbury.
 
 60 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 The house was full of old clocks and 
 watches, all repaired by the Colonel, and 
 regulated once a week by Don Carlos, 
 except the little clock in Mary's room, 
 a new one from Dent's, and a birthday 
 present from the old Rector soon after the 
 quarrel. This the Colonel disdained to 
 have anything to do with, and it is there- 
 fore not surprising that Mary was never 
 quite in the right time, to the Colonel's 
 distress, as he exacted great punctuality in 
 the house. 
 
 There is perhaps no better way of testing 
 a man's real disposition towards you than 
 by taking him unawares. Mary stood at 
 her grandfather's door a few moments 
 before she knocked, her charming young 
 bosom heaving with conflicting emotions, 
 and as she stood there with her lips half 
 parted, whatever difference of opinion there
 
 DON CARLOS. 61 
 
 might be as to her beauty when seen in 
 full front, there could be little doubt about 
 the beauty and harmony of her profile, and 
 the general elegance of her small head 
 and shapely figure. After knocking twice 
 at the redoubtable door, where no one 
 dared knock without a solid reason that 
 would stand buffeting, she was told by a 
 smothered voice to come in. Mary entered 
 and found the Colonel in an old coat, bend- 
 ing over a large saucepan on the fire, the 
 contents of which he was stirring with 
 an old soldering-iron, and from which 
 came an overpowering smell, compounded 
 of burning fish oil, animal fat, tar, leather 
 (it seemed), and other ingredients known 
 only to the magician himself; this was 
 the last and crowning boiling down of 
 the great lubricator, on the composition 
 of which he had spent months, aud which
 
 G2 WEITEPATCH. 
 
 was to resist the combined attacks of fros 
 and summer heats, damp and rocking 
 storms of sea winds, the eternal enemies 
 of the venerable Don Carlos and his stout 
 ally the old Colonel. 
 
 " Well, my dear," he said, looking round 
 with an animated face, in which there 
 was less sternness than usual, but still 
 vigorously stirring with the soldering-iron. 
 " You see I am very busy, but I thought 
 it was you. What is it, my dear ? ' 
 
 " Oh, nothing, grandpapa. But can I 
 help you ? You know I am rather clever 
 at cooking." 
 
 The Colonel reflected, albeit much sur- 
 prised at this sudden arrival of volunteer 
 aid. "Yes, I think you can," he said. 
 after a moment's hesitation. " You can 
 stir this while I get a mixture out of 
 the cupboard — but mind you don't let it
 
 DON CARLOS. 63 
 
 boil over ; ' and resigning the iron into 
 Mary's hand, he buried himself in one of 
 the deep cupboards we have mentioned. 
 
 Mary stirred the odoriferous compound 
 with all her might, but to her alarm it 
 began almost immediately to boil up to 
 the. top; she called out to her grandfather, 
 and by a great effort she succeeded in 
 landing the heavy saucepan safely on the 
 hearth before it had boiled over. 
 
 The Colonel came out of the closet with 
 a pair of gold spectacles on his nose and 
 a large bottle in his hand. Having assured 
 himself that it had really boiled, he poured 
 the contents of the bottle into the sauce- 
 pan, and stirred it vigorously all together. 
 
 "Well done!" he said. "Capital! 
 capital ! You came just in time. Now 
 that must stand until it is cold," and he 
 removed the saucepan to a square deal
 
 64 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 table, on which he did his clockwork, that 
 stood near the window-seat. 
 
 " Have you finished for to-day, grand- 
 papa? 
 
 " Why ? " he said. 
 
 " Because I should like to go for a ride ; 
 it is so fine after the rain, and I have not 
 been out once since I came back." 
 
 " Well," said the Colonel, gazing out 
 of the window, " it's a nice day for it, — 
 if you like, my dear." 
 
 " In half an hour, grandpapa ? ' 
 
 " Well, yes, that will do for me nicely ; ' 
 and Mary vanished to put on her habit 
 and order the horses. 
 
 The Colonel rode Don Quixote, a famous 
 old grey hunter of a much-contested age, 
 and looked well on horseback, as was rea- 
 sonably to be expected in a country gentle- 
 man, ex-cavalry officer. With his tall spare
 
 DON CARLOS. 65 
 
 figure, and upright square shoulders, his 
 fresh face and white hair — the eyebrows 
 still remaining black — he looked a very 
 different and more dignified personage 
 than the old gentleman in a faded coat 
 bending over a witch's cauldron whom 
 we have lately seen. Mary looked charm- 
 ingly at home on her mare, Queen Eliza- 
 beth, and the Colonel was very particular 
 about her turn-out on horseback, although 
 she was not often seen by any one but 
 himself and the critical Mr. Spillett, who 
 always brought her mare to the door, 
 and mounted her himself, looking at her 
 with great pride as she rode easily away, 
 settling her pretty and elastic figure into 
 her saddle. Queen Elizabeth — so called 
 by Mary, from the comical resemblance 
 of her head to an old portrait of that 
 queen in the house, and for her love of 
 
 VOL. i. 5
 
 66 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 fun in saying Don Quixote must escort 
 Queen Elizabeth — had been selected by 
 the Colonel and Spillett, who had both 
 gone to town together for that purpose, 
 as a birthday present to Mary on her 
 seventeenth year ; and, as far as is possible 
 in the almost hopelessly difficult matter 
 of horseflesh, united all the qualities in 
 a lady's horse that money, opportunity, 
 and good judgment could procure — having 
 breeding without weediness, fine point 
 with remarkable shoulders for a mare, and 
 high courage underlying much habitual 
 gentleness. 
 
 Before long they encountered the Rector, 
 and pleasant was it to see the cordial 
 greeting of these two old worthies. Tl. 
 Rector had been an army chaplain and 
 an old friend of the Colonel before he 
 srave him the excellent living of AYhite-
 
 DON CARLOS. 67 
 
 patch. He and Mary were also sworn 
 friends. Had he not once risen in the 
 dead of night, when she was dangerously 
 ill, to go off to town as best he could, to 
 personally conduct a great London phy- 
 sician to the spot ? It flashed into Mary's 
 head that here might be a friend in need ; 
 but as she rode on she reflected that it 
 would be useless and even dangerous. A 
 quarrel might arise that would make 
 matters worse. If her grandfather would 
 not consent, to please her, he certainly 
 would not do so for any one else. 
 
 " Where shall we go, Mary ? ' 
 
 " Anywhere you like, grandpapa. Do 
 you think the tide is out ? We might give 
 the queen a gallop on the sands." 
 
 " Yery well, we will go and see," said 
 the Colonel ; and they set off at a brisk 
 trot in the direction of the sea. On arriving,
 
 68 WHITErATCH. 
 
 they found the tide was rising fast, but 
 there was still time to have a good spin ; 
 and the firm sands and the sparkling fall 
 of the waves in the bright October sun, 
 the ever freshness of the sea air, and the 
 smell of the sea-weeds, gave all that could 
 be reasonably desired for the best of earthly 
 enjoyments, vigorous exercise amidst poetic 
 and healthy surroundings. 
 
 Mary had turned over in her mind 
 whether it would be better to make the 
 attack on the way out or home, and she 
 decided on the latter. The Colonel still 
 enjoyed a brisk gallop, and the fine old 
 Don Quixote could hold his own on the 
 heavy sands yet, and happiness in any 
 form, she knew by instinct, makes elders 
 more yielding ; she also felt less awe of 
 him when they were out riding together 
 than on any other occasion, and she knew
 
 DON CAELOS. 69 
 
 that he was proud of his pupil in horse- 
 manship, and had even condescended to 
 praise her self-possession and the excellence 
 of her seat at full speed, when young 
 ladies he thought were apt to be wild and 
 lose all their grace. 
 
 After a good stretch, they turned and 
 galloped back again to the lane leading 
 up from the shore to the Manor. As they 
 slowly rode up the ascent, Mary, with a 
 bright colour in her face, and a nervous 
 grasp of the reins which ruffled a little the 
 even excellent temper of the mare, came to 
 the charge. She began by talking about 
 her visit into Gloucestershire and the people 
 she had met. The Colonel was only 
 moderately interested, until she mentioned 
 the name of the Wyldemans ; but his 
 attention became rigid, when she went on 
 to say that Captain Wyldeman had been
 
 70 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 staying in the house, and she had seen 
 great deal of him, "and you can't think 
 how nice he is, grandpapa " 
 
 " Well ? " said the Colonel rather shortly, 
 divining there was something more to 
 come. 
 
 " And — he has asked me to marry him," 
 said Mary in a low voice, making the fatal 
 plunge at once, with as little splashing as 
 she could. 
 
 " Well ? " said the Colonel. 
 
 " And — I said — I said I would, grand- 
 papa — if you consented." 
 
 " Shameful ! " burst out the Colonel ; 
 " and without my wishes being consulted 
 in the matter at all." 
 
 " I did not know anything, grandpapa, 
 about Sir John and all that, until he told 
 me afterwards ; and he is the eldest son, 
 you know, and he is in the Guards, and
 
 DON CAKLOS. 71 
 
 every one says he is very nice — and I do 
 care for him very much," said Mary, 
 beginning to cry. " I did not know I could 
 not marry him — no one told me anything. 
 I thought we were brought together on 
 purpose to like each other — other young 
 people are, you know — and I am sure he 
 cares for me as much as I do for him ; he 
 says that he did the instant he saw me." 
 
 " Did Lady Worthingham know any- 
 thing of this ? " said the Colonel with 
 great sternness. 
 
 "I do not think so, grandpapa. We 
 did not say a word about it. Captain 
 Wyldeman did not wish me to tell any 
 one until I had spoken to you. He wanted 
 to write to you himself, but I would not 
 let him until I had seen you first." 
 
 " Shameful ! " again exclaimed the 
 Colonel, thinking rather of Lady Worth-
 
 72 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 ingham than of Mary or the audaciou- 
 Guardsman. " It is quite impossible, 
 Mary ! 
 
 " Oh, grandpapa ! I am sure you would 
 like him, if you knew him. It will break 
 my heart ! ' she sobbed, as the hot tear- 
 suddenly burst out anew, and began chasing 
 each other down the front of her habit. 
 
 " Nonsense, child ! Why you only saw 
 him but yesterday for the first time in 
 your life ! I tell you it is quite impossible, 
 Mary. He comes of a bad stock, and will 
 not make you a good husband." 
 
 " But, dear grandpapa ! said Mary, 
 trying to get near him and take his hand. 
 Don Quixote, however, seemed to have 
 such a decided objection to the mare, that 
 he put back his ears and moved off. 
 
 " Quite impossible ! quite impossible, my 
 dear child ! It is no use your persisting
 
 DON CARLOS. 73 
 
 it cannot be. I cannot allow it ; and I beg 
 that I may not hear another word on the 
 subject." And his black eyebrows twitched 
 and his face had an expression of deep 
 anger and annoyance, as he moved on into 
 a trot, and poor Mary followed behind with 
 her head bent low in tears over her horse's 
 mane.
 
 74 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE MAIDEN OF THE EAST STAIR.-. 
 
 It is a marked and well-known peculiarity 
 
 of human beings, more particularly the 
 male, that they will often outwardly direct 
 anger against any object but the imme- 
 diate cause of displeasure. The Colonel 
 at dinner that evening found intemperate 
 fault with everything, and Harrison, who 
 had been twenty-eight years in his mastei 'b 
 service, and, as he thought, thoroughly 
 knew him, was completely at a loss to un- 
 derstand the cause of such an unusual and 
 almost undignified display. His knives and 
 forks were placed too near his plate, and
 
 THE MAIDEN OF THE EAST STAIRS. 75 
 
 the wineglasses were the sort he detested 
 (they had ever been the same since 
 Harrison had known him) ; then the soup 
 was wrong, it tasted like a pastry-cook's 
 in Regent Street ; the fire scorched him 
 like midday at Calcutta — the snow was not 
 on the ground yet ! The saddle of mutton 
 must have been walking on four legs the 
 night before (it had hung at least a fort- 
 night in the kitchen court) ; the woodcocks 
 — a dish he was very fond of — were as rank 
 as if they had been fattened upon grass- 
 hoppers ; and the apples and rice — another 
 of his favourite dishes, and always pre- 
 pared by Mrs. Harrison in person — were 
 as insipid as child's food, and were not fit 
 to put before poor people at a workhouse. 
 Miss Doddingstead (Mary did not appear) 
 had to listen to fierce denunciations of 
 the self-sufficient idiotcy of women, who,
 
 76 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 married or single, a hundred years old or 
 upwards, never attained a single scrap of 
 real wisdom, or a right appreciation of the 
 relative importance of things in this world. 
 Mr. Croucher, the bailiff, who requested to 
 see the Colonel a moment after dinner on 
 pressing matters connected with a new 
 tenant, was peremptorily refused. Old 
 Shot, the famous and honoured retriever, 
 who was rejoicing in the advent of the 
 autumnal evening fire, was ordered off 
 from his accustomed place on the hearth 
 to take refuge in a cold corner ; and, the 
 most strange thing of all, after his daughter 
 had retired the Colonel, who was supposed 
 to have a violent antipathy to tobacco, 
 never allowing guests at the Manor to 
 smoke anywhere but in the farmer's- 
 room at the end of the long passage near 
 the old dairy, produced a huge meerschaum
 
 THE MAIDEN OF THE EAST STAIRS. 77 
 
 pipe out of a little oak cabinet he unlocked, 
 and having filled it with very mouldy 
 tobacco from the same receptacle, smoked 
 like a chimney on fire. Well might 
 Harrison declare, when he sat down to 
 supper in the housekeeper's room with a 
 much perturbed air, that " the Colonel was 
 gone clean mad. 5 ' 
 
 As we have arrived at the housekeeper's 
 room, the writer will remain there for a 
 short time, confessing his weakness for 
 these comfortable places and their, for the 
 most part, worthy occupants. The society 
 of this snug and cheerful old room con- 
 sisted of Harrison, his wife, Mrs. Jenkins, 
 Miss Doddingstead's maid — a hard-featured 
 virgin of an impossible-to-guess age, who 
 dressed very smartly, in a taste that 
 imposed much on the rustics, and who 
 insisted on going to church twice every
 
 78 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 Sunday (although Mrs. Spillett declared " it 
 was not to listen to the sermon"), — and 
 this last-named young person, who looked 
 in her cheerful and pretty dress among her 
 elders like a late rose in November. 
 
 Harrison was in full swing on the 
 Colonel's strange temper when Spillett 
 arrived late for her supper, after having 
 put her tearful young mistress to bed with 
 the comforting assurance that " the door 
 was never locked fast upon true love yet, 
 if it didn't mind its foot being jammed a 
 bit in the opening, and that the Colonel 
 would come round safe enough in time, if 
 she didn't wince too much." 
 
 " He must have had a loss of money, 
 I think," he said ; " that's the only thing 
 I can account for. And yet he isn't par- 
 ticularly fond of money either, and doesn't 
 seem much to mind anything in that way.
 
 THE MAIDEN OF THE EAST STAIRS. 79 
 
 especially since Miss Mary's father died. I 
 can't make it out." 
 
 " I have heard that old gentlemen is 
 given to tantrums, particularly when they 
 begins to get very old," said Jenkins. 
 
 " He getting very old — not he ! ' said 
 Harrison. " He is nearly as young and 
 fresh as I am, and he's good seven and 
 twenty years older ; he'll go to a hundred, 
 like his grandfather, and live to bury you 
 and me yet, Mrs. Jenkins." 
 
 " What's the matter upstairs ? ' said 
 Mrs. Harrison. 
 
 " Oh, not very much," said Spillett ; 
 " she has only done herself up a little with 
 galloping too fast with the Colonel." 
 
 " Ah ! that's just like young ladies of 
 her age," said Mrs. Harrison ; " they will 
 overdo themselves. But she ought to be 
 careful till she's quite grown up ; her
 
 80 WIIITEPATCH. 
 
 mother died young, and she don't look 
 over strong, with her face the colour of 
 cream." 
 
 " Nonsense ! colour of cream, indeed ! 
 She's a sweet pretty creature, and looks 
 the picture of health for a Doddingstead," 
 said her husband; "she is only one of 
 those nervous tempriments that are up one 
 day and down the next, like — ' ' he paused 
 to find a brilliant simile, and then, as 
 other men are sometimes known to do in 
 moments of failure, plunged into rudeness 
 — " like my old missus there." 
 
 " I don't know what you mean by your 
 ' nervous tempers,' ' said Mrs. Harrison ; 
 " I know where the real temper lies." 
 
 " Mr. Harrison, you ought to be ashamed 
 of yourself," said Spillett stoutly. " Men 
 are always accusing others of their own 
 faults."
 
 THE MAIDEN OF THE EAST STAIRS. 81 
 
 " Now, there's no occasion for you to be 
 shoving in your oar, Jenny Spillett," said 
 Harrison ; " and you'd do much better, 
 
 young one, if ' What it was she 
 
 would be the better for doing did not at 
 this present time appear, as he was inter- 
 rupted by a loud bang of the swing-door 
 that opened into the hall, and then some 
 one rushing down the passage outside with 
 violent screams. " Something has happened 
 to the Colonel," said Harrison, starting up 
 and going outside in haste. 
 
 At the kitchen door, on the ground, 
 he saw the under housemaid in hysterics, 
 with the other maids rushing out to her 
 assistance. 
 
 " What's the matter ? " he inquired. 
 
 No one answered, and he started off to- 
 wards the dining-room. Opening the door 
 quietly, he looked in, and found the Colonel 
 
 VOL. i. 6
 
 82 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 dozing gently in his armchair by the fire, 
 with the great pipe still in his hand, and 
 old Shot again in his place. Having 
 satisfied himself that the sleep was natural, 
 and wondering greatly at the smell of to- 
 bacco, he cautiously retired, much relieved, 
 and returned to the scene of disturbance. 
 
 " Oh, Mr. Harrison," cried the maids in 
 a chorus, "she's seen something, I am 
 sure ! She had to go up to the White 
 Closets' room to fetch a blanket." 
 
 " I thought I told you maids I'd have 
 none of you go pottering up those stairs 
 after dark," said Harrison ; " you are sure 
 to fancy you see something, if you don't." 
 
 " But Miss Doddingstead said it must 
 be found to-night, Mr. Harrison," said the 
 upper housemaid. " I wouldn't have gone 
 for anything ; but Sarah said she didn't 
 care, ghosts weren't true."
 
 THE MAIDEN OF THE EAST STAIRS. 83 
 
 " Carry her into the housekeeper's room 
 and put her on the sofa, Jane," said 
 Harrison to his wife. " Now all of you 
 be off to your supper again, and mind no 
 gossiping* and nonsense of that sort. She 
 has only seen the picture by candlelight and 
 thought it a ghost. She'll be all right pre- 
 sently ; ' and he helped to carry the still 
 insensible girl into the privileged room. 
 
 Long was the disbelieving Sarah coming 
 to her senses. 
 
 " She's very bad," said Mrs. Harrison. 
 " Which of 'em has she seen, I wonder ? 
 We shan't keep a maid in the house 
 if this goes on again. I thought all those 
 ghostesses had settled down for good ; 
 it is more than five years now since they 
 have shown themselves." 
 
 " Give her a little more brandy," said 
 Harrison. " Not too strong — you'll choke
 
 84 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 her ! " he exclaimed, as Jenkins, who began 
 to look like a bad sailor in a heavy sea, 
 was pouring a wineglassful of raw brandy 
 down her throat with a pinched and 
 abstracted air. This heroic remedy, how- 
 ever, restored the girl to consciousness, and 
 she was even dimly sensible of the honour 
 of sitting on Mrs. Harrison's sofa. Harri- 
 son then put a few drops of a clear liquid 
 from a small bottle he carried in a case in 
 his pocket (containing two little rows 
 of other small bottles), into a little water 
 and gave it to her, and before long Sarah 
 was able to give a connected account of 
 what she seen. 
 
 " I got the blanket, Mrs. Harrison, 
 which was in the yellow chest of drawers, 
 as Miss Doddingstead said, though Nancy 
 declared it wasn't; and I had just come out 
 of the White Closets' room and was lock-
 
 THE MAIDEN OF THE EAST STAIRS. 85 
 
 ing the door again, when something all 
 of a sudden made me feel quite happy like, 
 and as if I must dance, and I turned round 
 and saw the young lady in the picture as 
 plain as I see you now, Mrs. Harrison, 
 come quite quick up the stairs like towards 
 me from the landing till she got to the 
 Quixote room and then she stopped all of a 
 sudden, just an instant like, Mrs. Harrison, 
 and looked at me with a smile exactly as 
 Miss Mary's when she's pleased at some- 
 thing, and her lips moved as if she wanted 
 to speak and couldn't. And then she seemed 
 to go right through the Quixote door, with- 
 out ever opening it a bit, Mrs. Harrison — 
 that I am quite sure of, Mrs. Harrison — 
 as I could see the door as plain as anything 
 where I stood ; and I thought first it was 
 Miss Mary, who looked small like in the 
 dark, and then I knew it was a ghost for
 
 86 WIIITEPATCH. 
 
 sure. I dropped the candle and the blanket 
 
 straight, and seemed choked like till I got 
 through the swing-door into the passage, 
 and then I felt if I didn't scream, I should 
 die ; — and very sorry I am, Mrs. Harrison, 
 to make such a trouble." 
 
 " That's just exactly the way houses get 
 burnt down," said Harrison, paying little 
 regard to what Sarah felt, but seizing the 
 practical point of her flight. " Hid the 
 candle go out, Sarah ? ' 
 
 " Oh yes, Mr. Harrison, I am sure it 
 went out; it was quite dark, Mr. Harrison." 
 
 " But I am not at all sure," said Harri- 
 son, snatching up a candle, and, forgetting 
 example in his haste, he thrust it into the 
 fire to light it, and started off to see for 
 himself, having little confidence in a 
 woman's assertion of beinu' sure of anv- 
 thing beyond a matter of dress.
 
 THE MAIDEN OF THE EAST STAIES. 87 
 
 During his absence the great ladies of 
 the housekeeper's room wished to have 
 further details of what Sarah had seen. 
 
 " Was it the same dress as the one in 
 the picture ? " said Spillett. 
 
 " Oh yes, Mrs. Spillett — white, exactly 
 the same, and I saw the red flower in her 
 hair ; and her eyes were just like Miss 
 Mary's, only they looked deeper set like, and 
 she seemed littler and more strange, and 
 moved like somebody swinging in the air, 
 and her look made me feel as if I was 
 swinging too, and as if I should faint, and 
 such as I never felt like before ; and, let 
 father say what he will, I shall never 
 think that ghosts ain't true again." 
 
 Jenkins's white face and open eyes, with 
 the entire abandonment of personal dignity 
 as she sat bent forwards with her two 
 hands on her knees and her right foot
 
 88 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 awkwardly thrust out to the side without 
 uttering a word, was a fine study of the 
 supernatural from hearsay only on the 
 human mind. 
 
 " I tell you what it means, Sarah," said 
 Mrs. Harrison, with a kindliness in her 
 tone which explained why she was so 
 much liked by those under her — " it means, 
 my dear, that we are going to lose you, 
 and that you are soon going to get 
 married! She only shows to those who 
 are going to be married. I have never 
 seen her all the years that I have been at 
 the Manor." 
 
 Sarah's face brightened, and as she was 
 one of those pleasant, homely looking girls, 
 highly attractive to men of her class, this 
 would seem probable enough under any 
 circumstances ; but as her father, who did 
 not believe in ghosts, had an equal disbelief
 
 THE MAIDEN OF THE EAST STAIRS. 89 
 
 in lovers who earned small wages, she had 
 still to remain in service, though from the 
 warm blush that came into her face at this 
 intelligence, it was evident that there was 
 some one whose poverty she was quite 
 ready to share. 
 
 Harrison now returned with Sarah's 
 candlestick and the blanket on his arm. 
 " There is nothing to be seen up there ! ' 
 he said; "you've fancied it, Sarah. Nancy 
 has been putting it into your head." 
 
 " Oh no, Mr. Harrison. I saw it as plain 
 as I ever saw anything ; and Nancy never 
 said a word to me about it, except that 
 there were ghosts up those stairs after 
 dark. But I thought it was an old gentle- 
 man, because I heard some one talking to 
 father about it before I came here ; and 
 I feel as if I should never go to sleep in 
 the house again."
 
 90 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 " I tell you what it is, Sarah," said 
 Harrison, who had been reflecting on the 
 inconvenient consequences of this unshaken 
 belief on the rest of the household, " you 
 are a good girl, and do your work steady, 
 and when Nancy is married next year, 
 it is very likely Mrs. Harrison will ask 
 Miss Doddingstead to give you the upper 
 place, and you can't come into a fine old 
 family — that there is plenty of you wants 
 to do — without having what belongs to 
 high families, and the Colonel's is the first 
 in the county, and stands higher than all 
 the new lords and barrowknights stuck on 
 end one atop of the other with their toes 
 turned out — and that's a thing a mint of 
 money can't buy ; and unless you want to 
 go and be one of two, or it may be a 
 maid-of-all-work with some of those root-up- 
 everything radical sort, which is nothing
 
 THE MAIDEN OF THE EAST STAIRS. 91 
 
 but envy and vanity without any skin on 
 it, you'll know when you are well off, and 
 keep a still tongue in your head and re- 
 member that high places is slippery." 
 
 " Oh, Mr. Harrison, I am sure no one 
 has more respect for the family than I 
 have, and father's the same ; but I feel as if 
 I could never go about the house after 
 dark again ! " 
 
 " That's all nonsense ! You'll soon get 
 used to that. Ghosts don't drive you about 
 and shout at you as if you were a cab 
 horse all day, and keep you up till twelve 
 o'clock at night washing dishes in a damp 
 place till you're ready to drop, and then 
 have to be up at four again the next 
 morning for the family washing." 
 
 Sarah remained in silent perplexity 
 before the two terrible pictures offered to 
 her mind.
 
 92 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 " Perhaps she had better go home for a 
 day or two," said Mrs. Harrison. 
 
 " Yes, that's it," said her better half, 
 getting a woman's valuable hint of how to 
 to deal with this new form of Kentish 
 obstinacy, a matter which had been a 
 continual exercise of ingenuity to him ever 
 since he came into the county. u You had 
 better go and tidy up your father a bit ; he 
 didn't seem very bright when I saw him 
 the other day, and he's all alone now." 
 
 Sarah promptly assented to this arrange- 
 ment, and it was settled she should sleep 
 with Mrs. Harrison, as she declared she 
 could not go to bed by herself; and 
 Harrison was to drive her over early the 
 next morning himself to her father's cot- 
 tage farm, and return before prayers at 
 nine. 
 
 "You may tell your father, but not a
 
 THE MAIDEN OF THE EAST STAIRS. 93 
 
 word, mind, to any one else, Sarah," said 
 Harrison, as he wished them " Good night," 
 and departed to rig up a bed for himself 
 in the pantry as in his old bachelor and 
 sailor days.
 
 WH1TEI\ATCIL 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 THE HERO RESEMBLES A W.aX DOLL. 
 
 The Colonel next mornir. _ le and 
 
 but otherwise mui -ual. Mary 
 
 came down to prayers as Don Carlos w - 
 disniallv striking nine, and the Colonel 
 received his little maiden with unusual 
 - and affection. Miss Doddi: g ad 
 - emed in Ler usual f condition, and 
 
 Mary wa - _ tteful to her grandfather for 
 keeping her seer ind Harrison closed 
 the door, as usual, on the long line of 
 servan- s1 t down on their kne - 
 
 with military prt :i. :ter break!
 
 THE HEPiO RESEMBLES A WAX DOLL. 95 
 
 the Colonel had to leave the trial of his 
 interesting compound, and drive some 
 distance to a magistrate's meeting ; and 
 Mary and Spillett retired to the Children's 
 Garden, to discuss anew the important 
 affairs of the moment, and attend to the 
 wants of their little menagerie. 
 
 Mrs. Spillett's active mind seemed to be 
 fuller for the moment of the apparition to 
 Sarah than of her young mistress's trouble. 
 
 v CD 
 
 " Xo, Spillett, I have never seen her — 
 she won't appear to me ; but when anything 
 is going to happen — I mean — when any 
 of the women of our family are going to 
 be married, she appears to the head of the 
 house. If she does not, it is always un- 
 fortunate." 
 
 " That's terrible, Miss Mary." 
 
 " But I am not afraid of her, Spillett ; she 
 never does harm to anv one when she
 
 96 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 appears, though she sometimes gives 
 warning. It is the ghost in the old dairy 
 I am really afraid of." 
 
 " And have you seen that, ma'am ? ' 
 
 "No, but I heard all about it from 
 Rachel, who was here before Xancy. It 
 never comes above ground, so that you 
 need not go near it unless you like ; but it's 
 terrible, and makes you turn quite stiff and 
 cold, so that you can't move until it has 
 passed you, and always foretells something 
 dreadful to those it appears to." 
 
 Spillett dropped the tin box witli Mr. 
 Grego's seed on the floor. A ghost was 
 the only thing of which this courageous 
 girl had any real fear. 
 
 " But, please, Spillett, do not say any 
 more about them, and on no account 
 talk to the other servants about it ; the 
 Colonel will be very angry if he hears of
 
 THE HERO EESEMBLES A WAX DOLL. 97 
 
 it, and Jenkins tells Aunt Augusta every- 
 thing, and only the other day grandpapa 
 asked me again if you had not got an 
 ' unruly tongue.' " 
 
 Spillett remained silent for the pre- 
 sent on this absorbing matter, and she 
 set to work to sweep up the seed on the 
 floor. 
 
 When the Colonel had selected that 
 morning his batch of letters as they lay on 
 the hall table, it crossed his mind whether 
 there was any correspondence between the 
 lovers, and though he had a natural repug- 
 nance to anything in the shape of prying 
 as belonging to the order of ill-bred im- 
 pertinences and the dangerous curiosity 
 of women, yet he thought that, under the 
 circumstances, he was justified in depart- 
 ing from this rule, and so he proceeded to 
 examine Mary's letters ; but there was 
 
 vol. i. 7
 
 08 WH1TEPATCH. 
 
 nothing that looked like a lover's letter, 
 unless he wrote a feminine or tradesman- 
 like hand. He however made a note in 
 his mind for future guidance. 
 
 A very active correspondence, however, 
 had sprung up between the noisy and 
 omnibus-ridden quarter of Knightsbridge 
 and a quiet remote spot in the county of 
 Kent, in which, though the Colonel's name 
 frequently appeared, he bore no part in the 
 labour of composition ; and Mary had 
 received a letter that morning of many 
 sheets together, with an elaborately painted 
 photograph in a red velvet case with silver 
 corners, clasp, and monogram, containing 
 the portrait of a young officer in the uni- 
 form of the Guards, with very bright blue 
 eyes, a long fair moustache, and a waxy 
 complexion that would have done honour 
 to a hairdresser's window. This had been
 
 THE HERO RESEMBLES A WAX DOLL. 99 
 
 done expressly for Mary, who had never 
 seen her young hero in uniform. 
 
 Sad and almost useless as it seemed now, 
 Mary could not help dwelling on this 
 absurd representation, which, though grate- 
 ful as she was to the donor for the trouble 
 he had taken to please her, she could not 
 help thinking somewhat of a libel. " What 
 do you think of him, Jenny ? ' she said, as 
 her old friend and companion bent over 
 the back of her chair to look at it. 
 
 " Well, Miss Mary, I should say it's like 
 him, but I only saw him a few times out of 
 the window when he had his hat on, and I 
 thought he was a fine-looking gentleman 
 and had a nice expression ; but if he's like 
 that, he's too pretty — and, you know, I 
 don't admire fair men." 
 
 " That is because you are so fair yourself, 
 Spillett," said Mary, with a shade of annoy-
 
 100 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 ance, and he is not the least pretty ; it is 
 only this horrid painted up thing. He has 
 got a fresh, healthy-looking face, but not a 
 bit like that, it makes him look like a wax 
 doll. I wanted him to give me an ordi- 
 nary photograph, but he said he had never 
 had one done of him since he was a boy, 
 he hated it, and his family did not care, 
 and no one else had ever wanted one really, 
 he was sure." 
 
 " Oh, that shows he isn't very vain, 
 Miss Mary, for most handsome men are in 
 love with themselves, and then they expect 
 you to be everlastingly admiring them, and 
 not to object how many others do the same. 
 I wouldn't marry a handsome man if he 
 made fine eyes at me like the full moon 
 till he cried ; unless it was to take him 
 down a bit, and teach him handsome is 
 that handsome does."
 
 THE HERO RESEMBLES A WAX DOLL. 101 
 
 Mary reflected that her lover had very 
 fine eyes, and that they had undoubtedly 
 been directed continuously towards herself 
 not unlike a full moon ; but, then, they were 
 honest eyes, and more beseeching than 
 demanding, and she wondered where Spil- 
 lett had learned to be so hard in her 
 judgments of men. 
 
 " You see, ma'am," said Spillett, con- 
 tinuing her train of thought, " there are 
 two sorts of handsome men — those who say 
 a great deal with their tongue, and those 
 who say a great deal with their eyes. Now 
 it's those who hold their tongue and look 
 that are the most dangerous to women that 
 are not up to them ; because the cleverest 
 man, if he talks much, and if he is thinking 
 about himself all the time, and how much 
 you must admire him, is sure to get a bit 
 down from what you thought of him at
 
 102 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 first, if a woman is not a sort of a man 
 big doll ; but the handsome man, who only 
 looks at you nicely a good deal and say 
 little, you think he might say a great deal 
 more if he liked, and that stirs you up, and 
 makes you think about him and his good 
 looks." 
 
 " Where did you learn so much about 
 men, Spillett ? ' said Mary, her astonish- 
 ment at this accomplished knowledge 
 making her forget her own trouble for the 
 moment. 
 
 " Oh, Miss Mary, when' I was at Madame 
 de Gros's, we used to go out to balls two or 
 three times a week sometimes ; and there 
 we used to meet, more often than people 
 would think, with real gentlemen, and 
 when we were at work, we used to have a 
 regular parliament over them." 
 
 Mary was interested in a way she could
 
 THE HERO RESEMBLES A WAX DOLL. 103 
 
 not have accounted for to herself. " And 
 don't you find it very dull down here in the 
 country, after that ? " 
 
 " Well, ma'am, I did at first, but now I 
 am glad, because I used to often get sick 
 of it, and the way the girls talked — those 
 French girls are the worst of all, they are 
 dreadful about men — and I used to feel as if 
 I should get wicked too ; and father is 
 right, London is a slippery place for young 
 girls if they are the least good looking," 
 and Spill ett glanced at herself over Mary's 
 shoulder in the glass above the mantel- 
 piece, which certainly reflected a very fresh 
 and attractive-looking young woman in a 
 dainty blue and white cotton dress — but 
 then, as none of us like to believe, some 
 glasses flatter, or rather the light which is 
 thrown upon us at the moment. 
 
 " But how did you understand them,
 
 104 WIIITEPATCH. 
 
 Spillett ? They don't all speak English, do 
 they ? " 
 
 " Oh, Miss Mary, some do ; but before I 
 came away I could speak French pretty 
 well, and, you know, I learnt a good deal 
 from poor mother, and I got to understand 
 quite well what they said, only they talk 
 so fast I could not follow them at first ; and 
 there were some English girls also, a good 
 many at busy times, and we used to have a 
 sort of half and half talk. The English 
 girls were always getting in love with 
 somebody ; but the French they are much 
 too sharp for that, they only want to get 
 presents, which they go and sell again 
 directly." 
 
 " Did you fall in love with any one ? ' 
 " Well, Miss Mary, to be honest, there 
 was one gentleman I — liked a little — and I 
 believe he is in Captain Wyldeman's regi-
 
 THE HERO RESEMBLES A WAX DOLL. 105 
 
 merit, and I think he liked me a little too ; 
 but I was not going — but a gentleman in 
 his position could never marry me, that's 
 evident, and so what was the use of that ? 
 But I am almost sorry I ever saw him, 
 
 for I don't feel now as if " Spillett 
 
 stopped short in her revelations, and the 
 colour which had mounted in her cheeks 
 turned to paleness, and a sad look came 
 into her deep blue eyes. 
 
 The good secluded rustic Mary Dodding- 
 stead remained silent with astonishment, 
 but was too delicate to question her further. 
 
 " I don't think he looks conceited either, 
 Miss Mary," she said, changing the conver- 
 sation, and glancing again at the noble 
 work of art. 
 
 "No, that he is not, he doesn't think 
 enough of himself, poor fellow ; and you 
 can't think how kind he was to poor Miss
 
 106 WniTEPATCH. 
 
 Ransome, the governess, that night we had 
 the little dance, and no one took any notice 
 of her, because she is very shy and does 
 not get on at first with strange gentlemen, 
 and I am afraid she guessed, because she 
 praised him so to me my face quite burnt. 
 And she said it was only poor girls who 
 were good that knew how selfish young 
 men are in these days ; and whatever I did, 
 never to marry a selfish man. I mean to 
 send her a beautiful little gold watch on 
 Christmas Day, without letting her know 
 where it comes from ! '' The young heiress 
 felt, even in the midst of her trouble, that 
 power to do a kindness was very pleasant. 
 " It's wonderful how some women like 
 conceited men," said Spillett, not taking a 
 remarkable interest in "poor Miss Ransome." 
 " I think it is because most women dowo 
 at the very bottom don't think enough of
 
 THE HERO RESEMBLES A WAX DOLL. 107 
 
 themselves. Some conceited men think 
 that women are just made for their use, 
 like a pair of gloves. If they fit nicely, it's 
 all very well ; but if they don't, they try 
 another. But the way to manage them is 
 to make them feel small. They will soon 
 come round if they are good for anything ; 
 but if they don't, you may be sure they are 
 spiteful, and that's the worst kind of man 
 to deal with, because they are little. You 
 never know what any man is really worth, 
 till you take him up and throw him down 
 hard on the ground to see if he'll break." 
 
 Mary put down the photograph, and 
 turned over her letter again, as Spillett 
 rushed off to reduce the king to order, 
 who was shaking the bars of his house 
 with violent impatience to get out. 
 
 " Oh, that tiresome monkey ! You had 
 better let him out, Spillett ; " and then tears
 
 108 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 came into her eyes as she began to think 
 again of the catastrophe of yesterday, hardly 
 yet realized. "I must write and tell him of 
 it," she continued, " and that he must not 
 write to me any more. I have been very 
 false and deceitful to grandpapa already, 
 and he would never forgive me if he knew 
 all, and I would rather be anything than 
 that." 
 
 " All's fair in love and war, Miss Mary. 
 The Colonel should have sent you down into 
 Gloucestershire with your nose painted 
 red, if he did not want what's natural to 
 happen ; it's too late now, and it would 
 have served him right if you and Captain 
 Wyldeman had gone off by the Dover boat 
 last night. I would yet, if he doesn't come 
 round." Mrs. Spillett evidently was not 
 going to be charged with an unruly 
 tongue for nothing.
 
 THE HERO RESEMBLES A WAX DOLL. 109 
 
 " You must not speak like that, Jenny. 
 Grandpapa is very good ; he only forgets 
 I am no longer a child. I am sure he cares 
 for me more than anything in the whole 
 world, and I will never do a wrong thing 
 that will disappoint him, and make him 
 sad in his old age ; he feels everything a 
 great deal more than you think, and you 
 know he has had great trouble — when poor 
 papa died." 
 
 " Yes, ma'am, I know all that. But you 
 are a regular Doddingstead, too, as father 
 has often said ; and now you have been 
 allowed to give your heart away, you'll 
 never change, and will be unhappy all 
 your life, if you can't marry the gentleman 
 you care for — that I know well. But you 
 are very young, and the Colonel is very 
 old, and he ought to give way." 
 
 Mary felt herself that she could never
 
 110 WHITEPATCLI. 
 
 really care for any one else now, and wept 
 in silence at the sad alternative before 
 her. 
 
 " Don't take things too much to heart, 
 Miss Mary, it's early days yet ; wait a bit, 
 and then when the Colonel sees you have 
 got your heart right into it for good and 
 all, he's much too fond of you to go on 
 punishing you for ever, I know." 
 
 " I fear, Spillett, he won't change — he 
 never changes about anything ; and he 
 rode on, and would not hear another word, 
 and he always does that when he has quite 
 made up his mind." 
 
 " You must be very nice to him, Miss 
 Mary, and not let him think you are the 
 least angry, or are going to fight him 
 about it; it is no use fighting some men. 
 you must circumvent them — -I fear Miss 
 Doddingstead can be no help to you."
 
 THE HERO RESEMBLES A WAX DOLL. Ill 
 
 "Oh, not the least — quite the contrary ! 
 She only makes him very angry, and more 
 determined than ever to go his own way. 
 I think, Spillett, if you will go down now 
 and look after the queen and poacher, I 
 will write my letter. Don't give them too 
 much ! ' And Spillett departed to attend 
 to the animals in the small garden below. 
 
 We must now descend for a short time 
 to the servants' department. Harrison was 
 in one of " his tempers," as the two unfor- 
 tunate footmen could answer for. Nancy 
 had given warning to Mrs. Harrison, fol- 
 lowed soon after by Eliza, the kitchen-maid, 
 and then Ruth, the scullery-maid; and that 
 excellent and quiet woman was " much 
 put out," as she disliked changes — " they 
 were never a credit to mistress or maid." 
 And everything had been " going on so 
 nice, with hardly a word, and they were
 
 112 WHITEPATCU. 
 
 good servants, not easy to replace, or to 
 be fitted in a^ain at a dav's notice." 
 
 Harrison had come to the rescue, as he 
 always did when serious weather threat- 
 ened, leaving his wife at the helm in 
 calmer moments. He had been giving 
 the ghost-scared maids a vigorous antidote 
 in the shape of an appeal to their worldly 
 interests. They were like a parcel of 
 sheep, if one broke out into a barren field, 
 all the rest followed. Did they think 
 comfortable places like the Manor were 
 to be picked up on every hedge ? AY hat 
 if there were ghosts ? — which he didn't 
 believe there were — they didn't eat people 
 up alive. Did they want to go tramping 
 about the country, living upon their friends 
 till they got other places they didn't know 
 when. Look at Jane Collard ; she was ten 
 months out of place, and then had to go
 
 THE HERO RESEMBLES A WAX DOLL. 113 
 
 and live with a curate and do the washing, 
 and be looked down upon by all her rela- 
 tions. And what if there were ghosts ? All 
 high families had ghosts ; they came with 
 the property and old parchments. It was 
 only common servants, without any wits 
 in their head, and that could never get 
 into the first families that didn't under- 
 stand that. Did they want to be thought 
 small of, and as having no esprit de corpse 
 to leave the Manor family for a thing like 
 that? 
 
 " Oh, but, Mr. Harrison, there is so many 
 of them ! ' said Nancy. " Other places 
 have only got one at the most." 
 
 " What of that ?" said Harrison. " One 
 ghost is common. Every old house has got 
 a ghost somewhere in these days ; if they 
 haven't, they make them, until you get 
 tired of hearing of ' their ghost.' If 
 
 VOL. I. 8
 
 114 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 there is any ghost at all, why shouldn't 
 there be a good lot of them ? And why 
 shouldn't they have a little good society 
 now, when most of them have been accus- 
 tomed to it when they were alive ? — only 
 they amuses themselves by hiding out of 
 each other's way ! I shouldn't mind if 
 there was a ghost in every room in the 
 house, it makes you feel that the plaster 
 is dry, and that other people have been 
 comfortable there before you, and that the 
 place is solid, and not a pack of cords as 
 they build in these days. So don't you 
 be a conventicle " (this word, the exact 
 meaning and application of which was 
 only known to the learned orator himself, 
 had a tremendous effect) " and wanting to 
 have a one-ghost house like a one-hor- 
 shay ! "' 
 
 Eliza, who had the most good sense in
 
 THE HERO RESEMBLES A WAX DOLL. 115 
 
 her head, rebelled from the ringleader, 
 Nancy, and said she wouldn't be in a 
 hurry, and would think about it before 
 Mrs. Harrison told Miss Doddingstead, and 
 the others said they would think about it 
 too. 
 
 But Harrison had got up so much steam 
 over this threatened rebellion, that it was 
 not to be all expended on such an easy 
 victory, and he then turned on George 
 and John in the pantry and their accumu- 
 lated small neglects and transgressions 
 were all thrown out into a heap and 
 stamped upon, till John, who had a temper 
 also, said he should give the Colonel warn- 
 ing, and George had a sulky expression 
 and dogged manner of answering that 
 suggested warning also. Then Mrs. 
 Harrison came in for her share. But she, 
 poor woman, knew beforehand " that of
 
 116 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 course it was all her fault." Why had 
 she allowed any of the maids to go dodder- 
 ing up those stairs after dark ? The same 
 botheration had happened before. Miss 
 Doddingstead's orders, indeed ! They had 
 nothing to do with it ; she was always 
 fussing and upsetting the concerns of the 
 house about nothing at all. How often 
 had he told her (his wife) that the maids 
 were to be made to understand that she 
 was the real mistress. It would be a nice 
 thing if they had to go through all that 
 business again that happened five years 
 ago, when they couldn't get a maid to 
 stay in the house for love or money. She 
 had better lock up the farmers' room, it 
 was no need to be everlastingly cleaning 
 that and having the maids down there 
 with their heads together like a parcel 
 of geese in a thunderstorm. The Colouel
 
 THE HERO RESEMBLES A WAX DOLL. 117 
 
 kept the library locked and never had 
 that cleaned ; and she might tell Eliza that 
 she would have her wages raised next 
 Christmas, and that would keep the others 
 quiet too, thinking they were going to get 
 the same. "It's money, Jane, that keeps 
 steady on their legs, be sure of that." 
 
 Nor did the matter quite end here, for 
 as the storm had not altogether abated 
 when the Colonel came in — who had him- 
 self had rather a contentious meeting with 
 his brother magistrates and was otherwise 
 full of unpleasant thoughts — these two 
 quickly came into collision over the very 
 smallest of matters, and if a visitor had 
 not at that moment called, there is no 
 saying how Harrison's eight and twenty 
 years of service might have ended, as the 
 Colonel allowed no one the luxury of 
 having a fine temper but himself.
 
 118 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 CHAPTEE VII. 
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON. AXD THE DISGRACE- 
 FUL CONDUCT OF MR. GREGO. 
 
 The next morning the Colonel sat down in 
 his room to write a courteous but severe 
 reprimand to his old friend, Lady Worth- 
 ingham. But when he had got nearly 
 through his letter, and came to " a request ' 
 that she would use discretion — he put 
 down his pen and reflected that he had 
 already been much deceived in her on this 
 point, that she had no discretion, and it 
 would be safer to say nothing at all to her 
 about the matter. Having worked oft'
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON AND MR. GREGO. 119 
 
 some of his indignation by the act of 
 writing the letter, he tore it up and threw 
 it into the fire, and then sat back in his 
 chair to reflect again on this " unfortunate 
 occurrence." It came upon him as a 
 painful shock to his quiet and retired habits 
 that the time was close at hand for him 
 to find a suitable mate for his little lassie, 
 and great would have been the disturbance 
 to Mary's peace of mind — even if the visit 
 to Gloucestershire had not taken place — if 
 she could have known who were some of 
 the eligible persons selected for this honour 
 that presented themselves to the Colonel's 
 mind. He reproached himself for his 
 negligence in allowing her to stay away 
 so long, and his over confidence in the 
 wisdom of others in a matter that did not 
 touch them nearly, and of his want of 
 observation of the rapidity with which
 
 120 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 time flies. But this latter should be no 
 longer a reproach to him, he would at once 
 seize that venerable runaway by the fore- 
 lock. Soon after, the Colonel's bell rang 
 with such marked decision and impetu- 
 osity, that Harrison instinctively felt no 
 one but himself was equal to encountering 
 the emergency at the other end of the wire. 
 Now, he was at that moment cheerfully 
 occupied in preparing the materials for his 
 yearly October brew of ginger-beer, to 
 come in ripe and mature for the following 
 summer, according to the good old system, 
 a beverage, in the wholesomeness of which 
 he had great faith, and in the making of 
 which he was an adept, although he had 
 some difficulty in convincing the aristo- 
 cratic fastidiousness of the servants' hall, 
 that it was a drink permissible for any 
 one but very common people. He had been
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON AND MR. GREGO. 121 
 
 graciously consulting John, who seemed to 
 have got over his temper also, about some 
 new kind lately come into fashion. John's 
 people were supposed " to be in that way," 
 and manufacturers of summer drinks. 
 Having thrown off a large leathern apron, 
 in which he looked like a master saddler 
 intent on important orders, he put on his 
 coat, and hastened off to answer the 
 Colonel's bell, which however rang again 
 before he could reach his door. 
 
 " Harrison," said the Colonel, when he 
 entered. " I am going to give a ball." 
 
 If the Colonel had informed him that 
 he was going to be married again, he could 
 not have been more taken aback. 
 " A ball, sir ! " he said. 
 " Yes. Why not a ball ? " 
 " Oh, well, sir, that's as you please." 
 " Well ? ' said the Colonel, sitting back
 
 122 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 in his chair, with an air of having now 
 given the master idea, Harrison was to be 
 responsible for all the rest. 
 
 Never had Harrison's tact and readiness 
 been more sorely tried, as a ball was quite 
 out of his line, there never having been 
 one at the Manor since the coming of age 
 of Mary's father. 
 
 " Well ? " said the Colonel again, getting 
 impatient. 
 
 " When is it to be, sir ? ' Harrison said 
 at last. 
 
 " Oli, that is easily settled. In about a 
 week or ten days, perhaps." 
 
 At such a lamentable inferiority of 
 knowledge as to the nature of balls, 
 Harrison's genius rose to the occasion. 
 
 " It can't be done in a week, sir, or even 
 three weeks, hardly, if it is to be a regular 
 ball."
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON AND MR. GREGO, 123 
 
 " "Why not ? Of course I wish it to be 
 a real ball." 
 
 " How many people do you mean to 
 invite, sir ? 
 
 The Colonel hitched himself in his chair. 
 This was a very stiff question, and the 
 magnitude of the affair began to outline 
 itself in the distance. 
 
 " Well, — the usual number, I suppose ; 
 but I mean it to be very — in fact — very 
 select." 
 
 " You won't get enough people down 
 here in the country, if you are too 
 particular, sir ; and I have always heard 
 that an empty ball room is worse than a 
 funeral. You will have to invite a lot 
 of people to the house, and then you must 
 get the officers from Chatham and Canter- 
 bury, and the gentlefolks about must fill 
 their houses. Then there is the supper,
 
 124 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 and the band from Canterbury, who are 
 much engaged, I have heard say, as the 
 winter comes on ; and then the ladies must 
 have time to get their dresses, and they 
 won't come if you hurry them — that Mrs. 
 Spillett can tell you, sir." 
 
 " What does Spillett know about balls ? v 
 said the Colonel with great contempt. Then 
 a brilliant idea came into his head, and he 
 took up Wltittaker from off his writing- 
 table. " Let me see," he said, " to-day is 
 the 7th. Capital! capital! — we will have 
 it on the 5th of November, Miss Mary's 
 birthday." 
 
 " Yes, sir, that might do, if we are 
 sharp about it, and set to work at once." 
 
 " Very good, then, that's settled," said 
 the Colonel, with increased respect for 
 Harrison's powers, and his own dramatic 
 inspiration in the arrangement of dates.
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON AND MR. GREGO. 125 
 
 " You will tell your wife to be prepared 
 about the supper and the rest. I won't 
 have any pastry-cook's rubbish, mind. But 
 surely there is time enough for all that 
 
 yet ? " 
 
 " And the wiue, sir ! You won't use your 
 own champagne ? " 
 
 " Certainly I shall ! Do you think I want 
 to have my guests poisoned with bad wine ? 
 Let me know what you have got, and I will 
 order some more." Now about the only new 
 idea that had ever got into the Colonel's 
 head was the healthful value of good cham- 
 pagne, a sad knowledge which had to come 
 to him accidentally at the time of his son's 
 long illness and death, and he drank very 
 often a modest quantity of Pommery Brut, 
 of a great vintage, and he saw no reason 
 his guests should fare worse than himself. 
 
 '• But the first thing to settle, sir, is the
 
 126 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 number of people you are going to have. 
 I have heard say that if you make sure of 
 a good dancing lot of gentleman of the 
 right sort, the rest will all follow at the 
 first bid, and some won't even wait to be 
 asked, but will ask themselves." 
 
 The Colonel had meditated that the 
 legitimate, orthodox, and least objectionable 
 way of presenting a marriageable young 
 lady to the world was of course to give 
 a ball; but this appalling picture of a 
 " good dancing lot of gentlemen," and 
 people who might be anybody besieging 
 him for invitations, made him begin to 
 repent of his undertaking. He only said, 
 however, "Very well, Harrison, I will 
 think about it." 
 
 " But you will order the Canterbury 
 band at once, sir ? ' 
 
 " No, certainly not ! ' said the Colonel
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON AND MR. GREGO. 127 
 
 with great energy ; his idea of that famous 
 institution being confined to the magnified 
 braying of brass and screeching of wind 
 instruments he had been condemned to 
 endure at sundry agricultural meetings, 
 and which had left a verv lively impres- 
 sion on his mind. " No ! I shall order one 
 from town." 
 
 This was a shock to Harrison's notions 
 of what " we " at Whitepatch ought to do 
 in the matter of county patronage. And as 
 Miss Mary's coming-out ball — for such he 
 had already decided in his own mind it 
 was to be — would be quite a county affair, 
 he thought the bringing of a band from 
 town would have a chilling effect on the 
 Canterbury tradespeople prejudicial to a 
 favoured attention to orders and his own 
 little affairs at Christmas. But he knew 
 the Colonel too well to offer any direct
 
 128 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 opposition, making only the remark that, 
 " as they went to all the other gentleman's 
 houses, he thought the Colonel meant to 
 patronize them also." Harrison and the 
 Colonel had quite two different bands in 
 their heads. 
 
 This sly little shot told, and the Colonel 
 reflected a moment on his unconstitutional 
 intention. But as he meant the ball, now 
 he had decided upon it, to be carried out 
 in the very best way, his own recollections 
 of gayer days made him aware that the 
 band was of the first importance as a 
 matter of practical detail to make a ball go 
 off with spirit and agreeableness ; and he 
 held, in his own mind, to the condemnation 
 of the band from Canterbury. 
 
 " Very well, then, Harrison," he said 
 with an air of dismissal ; and Harrison 
 departed to spread the news of this coming
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON AND MR. GREGO. 129 
 
 event, which eclipsed <for the moment the 
 sensation of the night before, and even 
 John's new receipt for ginger-beer. 
 
 The Colonel thought for a moment if he 
 should call his daughter into consultation, 
 but as poor Miss Doddingstead was one 
 of those good, well-meaning, blundering, 
 fussy, and impossible creatures whom no 
 one ever obeys or consults, he decided 
 he would not, — making that little mistake 
 all we wiseacres are apt to do in our 
 estimation of the stumbling beings about 
 us, as she was a walking encyclopaedia of 
 small information about the friends, neigh- 
 bours, and connections of the familv ; but 
 from a habit she had of meddling at the 
 wrong moment and of giving her informa- 
 tion with an air of doubt and uncertainty, 
 no one ever gave her credit for any 
 
 accurate knowledge whatever — so valuable 
 vol. i. 9
 
 130 WH1TEPATCH. 
 
 is it in this hesitating world, when you 
 see black, to stoutly maintain it is white, 
 until others negate their own senses and 
 find that it is white after all ! 
 
 The Colonel then set to work to make 
 a list of the people to be invited, but he 
 had not got very far when Harrison's 
 terrible advice to obtain " a dancing lot 
 of gentlemen," the truth of which he was 
 forced to admit, recurred to him again 
 with disagreeable force. He reflected a 
 moment, and then he had another brilliant 
 idea — he would put this particular matter 
 in the hands of his old friend and com- 
 panion-in-arms, Grandison, a capital fellow, 
 who united great popularity with a fine 
 dignity of the good old school (at least, 
 that was his idea of him), now general in 
 command at Chatham, a man much in the 
 world and who knew everybody. So,
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON AND MR. GREGO. 131 
 
 abandoning his list for the present, in 
 which he had only got to about ten 
 names, he set to work to write a letter to 
 " Grandison," inviting him and Lady 
 G-ranclison and their daughter to pay him 
 a visit for this great occasion, begging him 
 to do him the farther kindness of support- 
 ing himself with a good staff of dancing 
 young gentlemen whom — here the Colonel 
 found himself again in difficulties; he did 
 not wish to be guilty of impertinence, and 
 yet he was aware of the extremely light 
 way in which balls were regarded by mili- 
 tary men, tied down to monotonous duties 
 in a garrison town, and he feared that even 
 Grandison would not see the necessity of 
 a very careful choice in the matter of 
 a ball — " whom I would also wish to do 
 me the honour of being guests in my 
 house," at last he wrote, trusting that hint
 
 132 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 would be sufficient, " as there is plenty of 
 room in the old barrack " (let any one else 
 call it an old barrack !) " for as many good 
 young fellows as will trust themselves 
 to my care." He then modestly alluded 
 to the new lubricator which he had 
 invented for the benefit of the clock, and 
 which he thought promised to be a success, 
 — Grandison perhaps had not forgotten 
 the old clock (no, indeed ! he might be 
 sure the General had not in any way 
 forgotten it, as it had lost him a train and 
 delayed a court-martial!) — and with a little 
 exceedingly mild and harmless gossip 
 about mutual friends, as befitting old 
 comrades, he finished his letter, sealing 
 it with his big seal (intended for another 
 little hint), and addressed it to "General 
 Sir P. Grandison," etc. He then suddenly 
 rose and quitted the room.
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON AND MR. GREGO. 133 
 
 Mary was seated in the Children's Garden, 
 with another long letter from Knights- 
 bridge in her hand, and very touching it 
 was, and tears were in her dark eyes as she 
 thought that at that moment he also was 
 reading her cruel letter of yesterday, in 
 which she had expressed with loving and 
 gentle firmness that all must be at end 
 between them, " at any rate for a long- 
 time, though she wished him to be quite 
 free," when a grave step in the little hall 
 and a knock at her door startled her into 
 immediate precautions. Secreting her 
 letter, she went to the door, where, to her 
 
 astonishment, she found the Colonel, who 
 
 rarely if ever paid her a visit. 
 
 " May I come in, my dear ? " he said. 
 " Oh yes, grandpapa ! " she exclaimed 
 
 with exaggerated willingness, to hide her 
 
 confusion ; and, making room for him to
 
 134 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 pass, she closed the door again behind 
 him. 
 
 The Colonel stood with his back to the 
 fireplace, and came to the point at once. 
 " I am going to have a ball for you, Mary, 
 on your birthday." 
 
 Mary was nearly as much astonished as 
 Harrison ; but this feeling was soon suc- 
 ceeded by wonder at what it could all 
 mean. Was it possible he was going to 
 relent ? She feared not. " Oh, grandpapa, 
 that will be delightful ! ' she exclaimed, 
 with as much cheerfulness as she could 
 assume ; but this young lady was much too 
 honest and sincere to be a good actress in 
 private life, and there was a slight falsity 
 in the ring of her voice that did not esca] 
 even the Colonel, unobservant as he was of 
 these fine shades. 
 
 "Yes, and I have written to the General
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON AND MR. GREGO. 135 
 
 and asked him to come for it, and bring 
 a whole regiment of dancing young mon- 
 keys." 
 
 Any one who knew the Colonel would 
 have perceived that he was unusually 
 moved or nervous, or he would not have 
 made such a joke as that. In fact, 
 now he was in the child's room, with 
 all her well-known small properties about 
 her that had been collecting from child- 
 hood, many of them his own gifts, and 
 when he recognized the sad look in her 
 eyes, notwithstanding her assumed gaiety, 
 it wrung his heart to be obliged to be 
 so cruel to the one great object of his 
 affections in this world. " But it could 
 not be ! he could never give her to a son 
 of that man." (What had really passed 
 between the two men no one ever knew, 
 as Sir John Wyldeman had been discreet
 
 136 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 enough to hold his tongue, and the Colonel 
 would never condescend to speak a word 
 on the matter.) It had been his intention 
 when he came up to find out if there was 
 any one she would particularly like to ask 
 for the occasion ; but he felt now that 
 might raise a hope to be only immediately 
 crushed, and that the suggestion even 
 might be painful, so he changed his inten- 
 tion, and by way of retreat began to dis- 
 play all at once an unheard-of interest in 
 young ladies' dresses — a matter of which he 
 was nearly as ignorant as a chimney-sweep. 
 
 " You must have a smart gown, Mary," 
 he said. " I should think something blue 
 would be very nice" — he remembered her 
 mother looking remarkably well in " some- 
 thing blue." 
 
 Poor Mary could not help smiling at 
 this delightful innocence.
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON AND MR. GREGO. 137 
 
 " No, dear grandpapa," she said gently. 
 " I believe I ought to wear something all 
 white, and very simple." 
 
 " Oh yes, white would be very nice, too ; 
 but it must "not be too simple. You must 
 remember who you are, and look right on 
 parade." 
 
 " A young girl when she first appears," 
 said Mary, " is expected, I believe, to be 
 very simply dressed." 
 
 " Ah, well, but I think I remember 
 seeing young girls with very smart gowns, 
 too, in a ball room." 
 
 " But I don't think it could have been 
 their first ball, grandpapa." 
 
 The Colonel, finding he had got on a 
 wrong road again, turned back to try 
 something else. 
 
 " But, then, you must have a necklace, 
 Mary. I have got a very fine old diamond
 
 138 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 one somewhere I can give you ; in fact, I 
 know there are several you can choose 
 from." 
 
 " No, dear grandpapa, I must not wear 
 diamonds, either. I should look like an 
 old married woman ! ' she said, a look of 
 fun stealing into her gentle face, which, 
 however, soon died out, leaving it more sad 
 than before as she thought how nice it 
 would have been if she could have looked 
 forward to soon wearing them in her own 
 right. 
 
 " Well, then, bracelets!'' said the Colonel. 
 
 " I think I might wear one, if it is not 
 too large or old-looking." 
 
 " Yery well, then," said the Colonel, 
 delighted. " I will send at once to 
 Garrard's and have some down for you to 
 choose from. I suppose, young madam. 
 they must be the latest novelties ? ' and
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON AND MR. GREGO. 139 
 
 he wondered, as he had done before on 
 other occasions, at the remarkable per- 
 sistence of young people to be in the 
 newest fashion, however ugly or unbecom- 
 ing it might be. 
 
 Having gained this one little doubtful 
 victory, he thought it prudent to retreat 
 from such uncertain ground, and he again 
 changed the subject, returning to his 
 original idea in a modified form. 
 
 " You must have the house very gay, 
 you know, with flowers and that sort of 
 thing. Wouldn't you like Miss Grandison 
 or some one to come and stay with you 
 beforehand to help ? " 
 
 " No, thank you, grandpapa ; Spillett 
 is very clever about things of that sort, 
 and I think we should do better by 
 ourselves." 
 
 " Yery well, my dear," said the Colonel,
 
 140 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 gaining more caution and submitting to 
 these oppositions to his will with remark- 
 able and unusual mildness ; and he began 
 to look about the room. Now, although 
 he had a decided dislike to all Mary's 
 monkeys, parrots, and goats — as a strange 
 taste in a young girl — yet he would never 
 allow any one to interfere with her, partly 
 because she seemed so fond of them, and 
 it gave her something to do that took her 
 out into the fresh air, but also because he 
 had received several strong hints that he 
 ought not to allow them ; so, with a delight- 
 fully grim smile of sham benevolence, he 
 stooped down over Mr. Grego's cage, and 
 proceeded to play with liim. 
 
 Now, this bird, whose history and 
 wonderful age will be afterwards referred 
 to, was very amiable and good-natured for 
 one of his irritable race, and was also
 
 SIR PETER GRANDISON AND MR. GREGO. Ill 
 
 highly intelligent, as are in truth all really 
 good parrots, though they seldom get the 
 credit of it, and his fine instincts told him 
 at once that the Colonel was an enemy in 
 disguise, whereupon, with a wild scream 
 of fear and outraged dignity, he pounced 
 savagely on the Colonel's finger. 
 
 u Confound the brute ! ' he said, starting 
 back. " How can you, Mary, keep such 
 things ? " 
 
 Mary expressed her great sorrow, and 
 set to work to bind up his bleeding finger. 
 
 Then the Colonel was introduced to the 
 King of Zanzibar, whom he very carefully 
 abstained from touching, however, though 
 Mary wanted him to feel how beautifully 
 fine and soft was his coat ; then he was 
 invited to look at her woolly white majesty 
 the Queen of Sheba through the window, 
 as she was nibbling in the garden below.
 
 142 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 And a very handsome pair they looked, as 
 Mary stood with her long delicate hand 
 placed lovingly on his shoulders. At last 
 the Colonel, finding his courage was in 
 danger, beat a hasty retreat to " write his 
 letters," after an affectionate kiss from 
 Mary and many thanks for his visit. As 
 he stumbled up Mary's half-lighted stairs, 
 surely that was a tear glittering in his eye.
 
 ( 143 ) 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 JENNY SP1LLETT COMPARES MATRIMONY 
 
 TO A PIE. 
 
 During the next few weeks all was bustle 
 and expectation in the quiet old manor 
 house. Miss Doddingstead, who was the 
 very last person in the whole establishment 
 to hear of the coming event, was in that 
 condition of anxious fussiness and obstruc- 
 tion not unfrequently to be observed in 
 incapable women in a position of authority 
 who cannot lead with success, and yet are 
 too honestly anxious to do their duty to 
 easily follow the leading of others, until 
 the patient Mrs. Harrison was heard to
 
 144 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 exclaim, " It would be a mercy if she 
 would catch one of her bad colds and keep 
 to her bed for a bit." 
 
 In due time the Colonel received a letter 
 from his old friend the General, signed 
 with a significantly bold and large " Peter," 
 as the General was not the least ashamed 
 of that good old name, so honoured in art 
 and on the Continent. But the Colonel, 
 with all his deference to the feelings of 
 others in matters that did not touch him 
 too closely, could never get over the 
 strange prejudice against this name which 
 still exists in a certain class of unen- 
 franchised British minds, and for which 
 Shakespeare is largely responsible when 
 he seized its adaptability to the mouth of 
 a peevish old woman ; so the Colonel felt 
 himself a little snubbed, as "Sir P." 
 certainly had a somewhat uncourteous and
 
 BAKED IN THE MATRIMONIAL PIE. 145 
 
 tradesmanlike air he must allow, and the 
 stout old warrior in question had before 
 given him a hint that he disliked having 
 his name slurred over by his friends as 
 something to be ashamed of. The General 
 would be delighted to come for such an 
 interesting (and unusually lively, it may 
 be added) occasion, and understanding the 
 hint, and taking it good-naturedly and 
 courageously, he promised to provide him- 
 self with a staff of young gentlemen, 
 any one of whom might appear at her 
 Majesty's dinner table. Lady Grandison 
 and his daughter would also be delighted 
 to accompany him. He professed to be 
 highly interested in the invention of the 
 new " lubricator ' for his old friend the 
 clock, which he had not in any way for- 
 gotten, and with a little return gossip about 
 old friends that was not quite of such an 
 vol. i. 10
 
 146 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 innocent nature as the Colonel's, and his 
 cordial regards to his charming god- 
 daughter, whom he expected to find had 
 grown handsomer than ever, he ended his 
 letter in the manner indicated. 
 
 The invitations to the ball had resulted 
 in a much larger per centage of acceptances 
 than usual, as it was early in the ball 
 season. Nor did the matter end here ; it 
 soon became truly remarkable how many 
 quite unexceptionable people wished, 
 through mutual friends, to have the honour 
 of being presented to the Colonel, and see- 
 ing his famous old house, until, on counting 
 up heads with Harrison, he was quite be- 
 wildered at the magnitude of the invasion 
 he had brought upon himself, and Harrison, 
 in the privacy of the cabinet council in the 
 housekeeper's room, was somewhat sar- 
 castic about the Colonel's " select ball."
 
 BAKED IN THE MATKIMONIAL PIE. 147 
 
 In the mean time Mary bravely did her 
 best to interest herself in what was going 
 on for her especial pleasure and honour. 
 But to a girl of her deep feeling and 
 sincere nature, without that hardy robust- 
 ness which is mostly the privilege of a 
 humbler class, a blight had fallen on her 
 which might easily lead to serious con- 
 sequences. For, after all, the one real 
 deadly enemy to human happiness is a 
 deep disappointment in any form ; it may 
 land us in a gloomy stagnation that will 
 never be quickened again ! 
 
 Spillett did her best to rally her young 
 mistress and impress upon her that love 
 was only like the measles or whooping 
 cough that all young people had to go 
 through, and the earlier it came the sooner 
 you got over it — that didn't kill one ! It was 
 a bad husband that spoiled a woman's life
 
 148 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 and her good looks worse than the small- 
 pox. You never knew how a man would 
 turn out till you were baked with him in 
 the matrimonial pie; and as to vexing about 
 a lover, you might as well vex about not 
 being tied up in a sack that you could 
 never get out of again. A lover lost was 
 a happiness gained more often than twice, 
 if women bit with marriage only knew 
 what was good for them ; it was just 
 as often going into slavery and back to 
 school again as not, when you couldn't 
 even have a bonnet to please yourself, or 
 hardly do a thing you would like to do 
 without the Prayer-book thrown in your 
 face wide open at the marriage service ; 
 and what are called the best of husbands 
 are often the worst about letting a woman 
 have her liberty, and if they were not good 
 husbands, it was worse in another way.
 
 BAKED IN THE MATRIMONIAL PIE. 149 
 
 Women came into the world to get married 
 no doubt, but whether they did or whether 
 they didn't, it was six of one and half a 
 dozen of the other, unless they had the 
 luck of the Old One, — but then, it was well 
 known marriages were made in the other 
 place. 
 
 But the eloquent discourses of this stern 
 professor of love and matrimony did not 
 make much impression on the love-sick 
 maiden, whose young wits, sharpened by 
 her own trouble, had quickly come to the 
 conclusion that Jenny Spillett must have 
 had a deep disappointment of her own, 
 which however increased her affection for 
 her, but weakened the confidence she had 
 in her opinion on these matters. 
 
 Nor did the coming down from town of 
 the eagerly gracious and voluble emissary 
 of Madame de Gros to try on her ball dress
 
 150 WH1TEPATCH. 
 
 touch but slightly her feminine interest and 
 vanity, and the sad eyes that seemed to be 
 looking far into the distance in the large 
 looking-glass before which she was taken, 
 were little in harmony with the festive 
 looking dress which completed the image 
 there presented. Neither did the enthusi- 
 astic asides of mademoiselle, an old comrade 
 of Spillett's — which were genuine for 
 once — on the beauty and distinction of 
 Mary's appearance, have much more than 
 an irritating effect. " He would not see her, 
 what did it matter ? ' She kept her lover's 
 last letter in her pocket by day and under 
 her pillow by night, and the King of Zan- 
 zibar, who had watched her take it out of 
 her pocket, had adroitly snatched it from 
 her hand, and was only made to give up 
 his prize after it had been torn in several 
 places.
 
 BAKED IN THE MATRIMONIAL PIE. 151 
 
 Her gentleness and ill-concealed sadness, 
 and her loving attention to her grandfather, 
 heaped scorching coals of fire on the old 
 man's head, and the great pipe fumed with 
 mouldy tobacco until the room was thick 
 with smoke at all times, and Harrison 
 was much perplexed to find an antidote to 
 a craving for tobacco amongst his little 
 medicines to put into the Colonel's tea cup. 
 He finally decided it might be a slight 
 madness, and treated him accordingly. The 
 Colonel reproached himself for his negli- 
 gence and want of forethought in guarding 
 such a priceless treasure, and discovered too 
 late that the child had become a woman. 
 Mary had indeed passed almost in a moment 
 from girlhood into womanhood, and with 
 the fine instincts of a high race she now 
 realized at a bound many of the conditions 
 that govern society and position, and the
 
 152 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 necessity for self-preservation in the 
 binding nature of family ties of those who 
 stand aloft, and she found herself face to 
 face with the hard unwritten law of the 
 great world, which forbade her to give her 
 hand where she most desired to bestow 
 it. What dairy-maid, she thought, would 
 be forced to renounce her lover because his 
 father was not all that he should be ? 
 Although she had seen but little compara- 
 tively of Captain Wyldeman, yet she had 
 had much opportunity of being alone with 
 him, and their love had flamed up at once 
 with the passionate instinct of lovers who 
 are doomed to be crossed. 
 
 And so the gentle maid tried bravely to 
 do her duty in that station of life to which 
 God had called her ; but so faithful and 
 steadfast was her nature, she felt that if this 
 could not be, her real happiness in life was
 
 BAKED IN THE MATRIMONIAL PIE. 153 
 
 gone for ever. How the Colonel fought 
 his battle with the invincible little god will 
 be seen later ; but it would have been better 
 perhaps if he had not thrown such a 
 resolute ally into the enemies' camp by his 
 observation on Spillett's " unruly tongue," 
 a stinging remark which hit truth in the 
 centre, and the indictment being expressed 
 in scriptural form had an additional gravity, 
 with a suggestion of matrons and middle- 
 aged women not at all agreeable to such a 
 smart and lively young person. 
 
 At length the great day of the ball 
 arrived, with astonishing rapidity to those 
 chiefly concerned in the preparation. The 
 " General and his lady " were to have the 
 White Closets' room, a room he professed 
 to be very fond of for reasons of his own — 
 though her ladyship would have preferred 
 something on less classic ground — as one of
 
 154 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 the white closets, which opened only from 
 the bedroom, made a very comfortable little 
 den with a fireplace where the General, on 
 his visits to Whitepatch, boldly lit up his 
 cigar and trusted to Providence. Careful, 
 however, were the warnings to his staff on 
 this present occasion on the terrible crime 
 of being detected in smoking anywhere on 
 the premises but in the farmers' room, 
 though he left them to suppose the crime 
 would consist mainly in the detection. 
 
 The Don Quixote room was to be given 
 to Captain the Hon. Richard Hunting- 
 croft, only son of Lord Huntingcroft, and 
 chief of the General's staff for the ball — a 
 bold young gentleman of a free and open 
 disposition, and a noted good fellow among 
 his brother officers. The four other gentle- 
 men brought by the General were distri- 
 buted about the house in the rooms
 
 BAKED IN THE MATRIMONIAL PIE. 155 
 
 generally given to bachelors. The Brambles 
 of Merton, country neighbours, were to 
 occupy the Oak room, and their two 
 daughters the Green Chimney room ad- 
 joining, into which you entered by de- 
 scending two steps, a quaint old room, with 
 two fireplaces, one of which had a high 
 carved mantelpiece painted green. Miss 
 Grandison had the Rice-closet room oppo- 
 site — why so called no one exactly knew — 
 and into which you entered this time by 
 mounting a step. The Bride's Chamber 
 was reserved for the ladies to take off their 
 things in when they arrived for the ball. 
 At the bottom of the short flight of stairs 
 that this room had all to itself was a narrow 
 strong oak door, on the inside of which a 
 heavy iron bar let down with a clang ; for 
 this or some other reason young ladies 
 were always afraid to sleep there, although
 
 156 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 it was the pleasantest bedroom in the house. 
 The drawing-room was to be used as the 
 ball room, according to ancient precedent, 
 and when cleared out was a capital room 
 for the purpose. This clearing out had 
 been a matter requiring much adroitness 
 on the part of Harrison, as the Colonel 
 objected to anything being moved in the 
 house if he could help it, and he had to be 
 got out of the way by a strategic move- 
 ment of Mr. Croucher, the agent, instigated 
 by his friend Harrison ; but even he dare 
 not touch the old japanned cabinet, which 
 remained on the night of the ball like a 
 dangerous spot in the ice for the dancers, 
 who were ever in fear of sending their 
 elbows through the glass doors. The floor 
 of this room was also a perplexity to 
 Harrison, as Spillett, who had tried to spin 
 round on it, declared they might a* well
 
 BAKED IN THE MATRIMONIAL PIE. 157 
 
 attempt to waltz gracefully on a barn-floor, 
 so dry and gritty had it become. This 
 Harrison overcame by sending for a man 
 from Canterbury, who rubbed and scrubbed 
 for two long days with a spirituous com- 
 pound of wax and other matters. As a 
 final result, it was found to be very satis- 
 factory by the dancers, and highly credit- 
 able to ancient carpentry. 
 
 How cheerful are the preparations for 
 an event of this kind in a country house ! 
 Even poor Mary gradually became in- 
 terested in what was going on. The bustle 
 and stir, the ringing of bells, the arrival 
 of packages and parcels, the rushing of 
 somebody who nearly knocks you down 
 to find somebody else, the fragrant whiff 
 of good things cooking in the far distance, 
 the anticipation of what is coming, and the 
 general animation aud real happiness of
 
 158 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 human beings busily intent in a match 
 against time ! Spillett, who had great 
 good taste in these matters, assisted by 
 Mary, who was not lacking either in this 
 respect, had dressed the old hall and the 
 principal rooms with flowers and ever- 
 greens, using the picture-frames and the 
 old mirrors and other prominent objects to 
 much advantage, for all was to be ready 
 for the critical eye of the great General, 
 who noticed everything, and with cordial 
 appreciation when he could do so honestly. 
 Harrison, although the presiding genius 
 that directed and thought of everything — 
 giving even hints to Spillett and Mary in 
 their decorations — did not neglect to give 
 full attention to his own particular depart- 
 ment, the supper table. He had hunted 
 out all the fine old plate, of which tbe 
 Manor was a complete store-house — quaint
 
 BAKED IN THE MATRIMONIAL PIE. 159 
 
 old candelabras, high epergnes of many 
 
 tempting stages, old hunting cups, deep 
 
 silver baskets with delicate piercings, and 
 
 solid old silver salvers, that in their plain 
 
 simplicity looked veritable silver and their 
 
 money's worth, free from the suspicion of 
 
 modern ingenuity in making a show out 
 
 of small weight ; all these had been 
 
 honestly polished up, having that mellow 
 
 and varied brilliancy which old silver 
 
 alone can have, and arranged with much 
 
 skill and taste on the sideboards, and the 
 
 two long tables in the large square 
 
 dining-room. Harrison had great faith in 
 
 a striking, general impression. A busy 
 
 crowd was too much occupied with each 
 
 other, and had little time, he thought, to 
 
 appreciate detail, however good it might 
 
 be ; and he had twice marched Spillett in 
 
 on his arm, imagining himself to be a
 
 160 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 guest, to see how the room looked on 
 entering, and the final result, with the 
 abundance of glittering silver, the priceless 
 old damask tablecloths, soft and rich, the 
 bright reflecting glass, and other objects 
 hereafter to be mentioned, all set out in 
 this fine old panelled room, made a picture 
 M. Meissoner himself would have delighted 
 to paint, and those who know him well 
 could hear at this moment his old lion-like 
 roar of satisfaction as he came upon the 
 scene. 
 
 At length the General's well-known 
 cheery voice was heard at the hall door, 
 and his genial presence and cordial manners 
 seemed to add at once a new element to 
 the house as he came in with that air of 
 meaning to enjoy himself, and to make 
 others do the same, which is at once catch- 
 inff and irresistible. He had what is called
 
 BAKED IN THE MATRIMONIAL PIE. 161 
 
 a " fine presence," and was indeed a man of 
 striking appearance, with a pleasant face 
 and a look of fun and good nature, but 
 with, a sense of power and grip about him, 
 that made men beware of taking too much 
 advantage of it. His young friends were 
 soon presented in due form, and Mary 
 received her birthday congratulations and 
 presents. The General brought her a 
 lovely bouquet which had arrived from 
 Solignac's at Cannes that very morning, 
 and another bracelet which for a moment 
 made the Colonel a little jealous, until 
 Mary declared she should wear them both. 
 The other presents were then duly admired 
 and examined, and the whole party had 
 tea served to them in the hall. 
 
 The " Hon. Dick," as Captain Hunting- 
 croft was called by all who knew him well, 
 was at once much taken with Mary, and she 
 
 VOL. I. 11
 
 162 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 with his amiable and open face, which look- 1 
 as if the doing of kindnesses was the owner's 
 natural occupation in life. But she little 
 guessed at that moment, though she knew 
 he was in the same regiment, that he was 
 the intimate friend and confidant of her 
 hero, and knew far more about a certain 
 little affair than she could have dreamt was 
 possible, having but little knowledge as 
 yet of the sad indiscretion of young gentle- 
 men deeply in love. So the Hon. Dick 
 regarded her with much interest as she 
 gave him his tea, though with a tinge of 
 regret that he had not been first in the 
 field to try and win such a charming and 
 gentle creature for his wife, so unlike, 
 she seemed to him, the sample young lady 
 of the great world. 
 
 The Brambles now arrived, with more 
 presents and congratulations, and the two
 
 BAKED IN THE MATRIMONIAL PIE. 163 
 
 young ladies, who were well dressed, well 
 made, good looking and lively, added not 
 a little to the party from the young 
 gentleman point of view. 
 
 Lady G-randison was rather small and 
 grim, and much what might be expected 
 in a General's wife who had tramped a 
 good deal about the world, with no greatly 
 shining quality beyond that of an absolute 
 belief in her General — an almost sure sign 
 of a happy and prosperous old couple — but 
 with plenty of that small information at 
 first hand, of the earth's surface which is 
 to be gained in a military life. Miss 
 Grandison was a rather stout but excellent 
 young woman of a certain medium young 
 lady age, with cheery manners, whom 
 every one liked, and with a look of her 
 father's good-natured courage and fun. 
 
 The dinner was served in the Colonel's
 
 164 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 room, which had been "dreadfully di- 
 turbed " for the occasion, and went off with 
 a more cheerful amalgamation than is usual 
 among the two sets of people, some of 
 whom know each other very well, and to- 
 others are entire strangers, but with some 
 of that haste which is inevitable under the 
 consciousness of an unexpected immediate 
 invasion. 
 
 When the ladies had retired and coffee 
 was served, the Colonel calmly produced a 
 box of cigars, and with a short apology 
 that " cigars did not suit him," gravely 
 proceeded to light the big pipe. If the 
 Archbishop of Canterbury on the throne of 
 his cathedral had suddenly pulled a cigar 
 out of his pocket and lighted it up before 
 the assembled Dean and Chapter, the effect 
 could have hardly been more startling, but 
 more particularly on the General. He
 
 BAKED IN THE MATRIMONIAL PIE. 165 
 
 had been taking all sorts of precautions to 
 prevent himself smelling of a cigar hastily 
 stolen just before dinner, and he now be- 
 came so violently red in the face with 
 suppressed emotion of some kind that he 
 had to rush off to his dressing-room to 
 find his pocket-handkerchief ; but as he 
 appeared not very long afterwards, with a 
 box of his own particular brand under his 
 arm, we must conclude, although he was 
 still very red in the face with an odd look 
 of internal struggling with something, 
 that this sudden emotion, so dangerous to 
 men of his age and habit, had passed with- 
 out any ill effect. The young men, more 
 than one of whom had hesitated about 
 coming where tobacco was so strictly 
 forbidden, were only too delighted, and 
 rushed on the forbidden fruit until the 
 room became such a reservoir of tobacco
 
 166 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 smoke that the General even was scandal- 
 ized as to the effect it might have on the 
 rest of the house, and he had to give his 
 old friend a hint as they left the room that 
 windows were made to be opened, as the 
 Colonel seemed to be perfectly unconscious 
 that any one else in the world had a no 
 for tobacco but himself.
 
 ( 167 ) 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 THE WHITEPATCH BALL. 
 
 It was a pleasant sight to see the fine- 
 looking old Colonel in his old-fashioned 
 clothes, with Mary and Miss Doddingstead 
 a little in the rear, receiving his guests 
 at the drawing-room door, his dignified 
 cordiality to old friends and his stately 
 courtesy and kindliness to strangers. 
 
 The General had been consulted about 
 the music, and the matter having been 
 finally left in his hands altogether, he had 
 engaged a fiery little Frenchman originally 
 from Povence, fast becoming known for 
 his quadrille band and his eccentricity of
 
 1G8 WIIITEPATCH. 
 
 character. The large centre window of 
 the drawing-room had been taken out 
 and a wooden construction made for the 
 musicians, which was, however, somewhat 
 smaller than it ought to have been for 
 the number who arrived. 
 
 The ball was opened by Mary and her 
 grandfather, with Lady Grandison and 
 Mr. Bramble vis-a-vis, the General and 
 Mrs. Bramble and Captain Huntingcroft 
 and Miss Doddingstead as side couples, to 
 the music of a sparkling French quadrille, 
 with such right dance quality and spirit 
 in the execution, that it set the keynote 
 to the whole evening, showing Sir Peter- 
 good judgment and right understanding 
 of a ball in the country, which is generally 
 a ball, and not a tempting bait to gather 
 a brilliant crowd. And it may be ob- 
 served by any one for themselves that the
 
 THE WHITEPATCH BALL. 169 
 
 world is much more honest when it gets 
 down into the country and is frankly 
 willing to enjoy itself if it can only get 
 the chance. 
 
 Mary looked remarkably well in a ball 
 room, with her good figure and air of 
 distinction, and her sweet pale face and 
 rich dark eyes, which had a brilliancy 
 under the novel excitement of the occasion 
 that hid the sadness which lay beneath. 
 Her dress was pronounced to be the newest 
 and prettiest in the room, as Madame 
 de Gros, licensed bully and robber as she 
 was, was nevertheless a really great artist 
 when she chose to take the trouble, and 
 Spillett had taken care there should be no 
 negligence on this occasion. It was never- 
 theless a wonder to some of the good ladies 
 present how a girl so buried in the country 
 had managed to dress herself so well, and
 
 170 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 as Spillett, with intention, had persuade! 
 her to wear a single red flower in her hair, 
 her striking resemblance to the famous 
 picture on the staircase was quickly re- 
 marked • by her country neighbours, and 
 formed an interesting topic of mysterious 
 conversation to strangers. Some of the 
 young ladies began to feel a delightful 
 thrill when they looked at her, and wanted 
 to be taken between the dances by their 
 partners to see the picture itself. 
 
 Now came a waltz, that breathed love, 
 beauty, and youthful happiness in alternate 
 strains of spirit and tenderness, harp, cornet, 
 and violins rising and falling in change- 
 ful domination mingled with the surging 
 sweetness of rich stringed instruments. 
 Mary, borne in the arms of Captain Hunting- 
 croft, forgot for the moment her sorrow in 
 the joy of youthful pleasure and existence.
 
 THE WHITEPATCH BALL. 171 
 
 The Colonel had asked Sir Peter to be 
 master of the ceremonies, placing every- 
 thing in his hands with the one proviso 
 that there should be no polkas, a dance he 
 considered " little better than a jig at a fair, 
 and fit only for romping maidservants and 
 children ; " and the gay old General entered 
 with all his heart into his new duties. 
 Not only did he set a good example him- 
 self, by showing that "no gallant gentleman 
 should be taking his ease in a chair so long 
 as there was a woman in the room who 
 wished to dance," but he impressed on the 
 Colonel also that he should join in the 
 quieter round dances. For the General 
 was very clear in his notions of the justice 
 and equity of an all-round character being 
 given to a country ball, so that every one 
 should have a chance of a little lively 
 movement if they pleased to inspiriting
 
 172 WIIITEPATCII. 
 
 music — not being at all disposed to yield 
 to the easy fashion of the day of allowing 
 the youngsters to have it all their own 
 way. So he ruthlessly cut out some of the 
 waltzes, and substituted quadrilles and 
 lancers in their place, as, in the programme 
 drawn up by a committee of the young 
 people after tea, there was one quadrille 
 and one set of lancers, and Mary, knowing 
 the Colonel's objection to polkas, all the 
 rest were waltzes. The final result how- 
 ever of this audacious assertion of elderly 
 authority was a great general cheerfulness 
 and movement, the old Eector even, with 
 his rheumatism, standing up several times 
 to complete a set, and country neighbours 
 who had scarcely exchanged a word or a 
 visit for years becoming friends again in a 
 moment over a lively word or two ex- 
 changed in a dance. The elders declared
 
 THE WHITEPATCH BALL. 173 
 
 they had never seen such a ball since they 
 were young, and the young people, not- 
 withstanding the encroachment on their 
 rights, declared they had no idea a ghostly 
 ball could be so delightful ; and the great 
 General, who, popular man as he was, could 
 make men tremble on befitting occasions, 
 was actually to be seen after supper taking- 
 Mary round in a waltz. Their style of 
 dancing did not agree, but she found that 
 after all she preferred him as a partner to 
 the lazy indifference and conventionality of 
 some of the younger men, whom she soon 
 discovered also had nearly all the same 
 thing to say to her. 
 
 The " Hon. Dick," however, had taken 
 care this time to be early in the field, and 
 had secured a very good share of dances 
 with Mary. This young person — for it 
 may be taken for certain that the most
 
 174 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 honest woman will try to ride us with a 
 bunch of greens if we do not go of our 
 own will the road she wishes — soon led him 
 to talk a great deal more about her lover 
 than he had intended, having made up his 
 mind before he came that the right and 
 safe thing to do under the circumstances 
 was to avoid the matter altogether. 
 
 Mary's beauty and sweetness, however, 
 soon turned him into a warm partisan, and 
 as it was not very difficult to discover that she 
 was as deeply in love as his friend, he formed 
 the sudden resolution to help them if he 
 could. Having one of those natures which 
 must either lock themselves up entirely or 
 open out completely, his reserve once 
 broken, he poured into Mary's delighted 
 ears everything he knew about his friend, 
 praising him with manly generosity — that 
 he was an excellent fellow whom every one
 
 THE WHITEPATCH BALL. 175 
 
 liked and respected, and a marked contrast 
 (taking after his mother) to the rest of the 
 family, who were the sort of people who 
 did not much care what they did, provided 
 they got their pleasure and amusement 
 (how Mary wished the Colonel could have 
 heard) ; and these two young people seemed 
 so immensely taken up with each other, 
 that the wiseacres quickly decided the 
 Colonel was going to succeed in his object 
 at one stroke. 
 
 At twelve o'clock the General gave the 
 signal for supper, but he would have no 
 dancing during that time — " there being a 
 time for all things." He had Monsieur de 
 l'Orchestre and his excellent band released 
 from their wooden enclosure, and sent off 
 to get their own supper. Neither did he 
 intend the ball should in any way fail from 
 the doubtful reputation of an early finish.
 
 176 WIIITEPATCII. 
 
 The supper, it need hardly be said, was 
 excellent ; but it was more than that, 
 presenting a most inviting picture of old- 
 fashioned hospitality and charm that was 
 new to most of the guests, free from the 
 eternal to-be-taken- for-gran ted look of mo>t 
 ball suppers, which are apt to resemble each 
 other as closely as the windows of two con- 
 fectioners' shops. There were good home- 
 made dishes of many kinds that did not 
 look as if they were manufactured by the 
 hundred, and of which one has seen any 
 number of the same exact thing before, but 
 having a pleasant individuality that invited 
 a trial — many so old-fashioned, they were 
 taken for the latest novelties, to be made 
 note of. Then there were the great game 
 pies — for which AVhitepatch has been 
 famous since the days when people drank 
 beer for breakfast — delicately llavoured by
 
 THE WHITEPATCH BALL. 177 
 
 a peculiar kind of sage brought to the 
 Manor by a priest from Belgium, and still 
 carefully grown in a corner of the old kit- 
 chen garden, and in the making of which 
 Mrs. Harrison was a skilful interpreter of 
 traditions and recipes. These were served 
 up in deep old dishes with many flutings, 
 that came to the Manor when or from 
 whence no one knew — with the exception of 
 the dish for the small-bird pie, a chef-cTceuvre 
 of old Rouen ware with an inner dish for 
 baking — all of them invitingly suggestive 
 of the run that would be made on them and 
 the necessity of coming early. 
 
 The dancing had commenced at nine 
 o'clock, and every one felt hungry and 
 cheerful at the sight of such good fare so 
 refreshingly set forth. 
 
 The General had decided that a good 
 liberal half hour or forty minutes would be 
 
 VOL. I. 12
 
 178 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 about the right time to allow for all con- 
 tracting parties. As Mary and the Hon. 
 Dick had presided at the small-bird pie, 
 having friends at court, he and the younger 
 and prettier Miss Bramble, his partner, 
 had obtained quite (and more) than their 
 share of that capital and much-contended-for 
 dish. As time wore on, the General 
 thought he would steal out and see if the 
 band had returned before he gave the 
 signal for recommencing. On findinc* no 
 one in the drawing-room, he returned to the 
 hall, and capturing a footman, sent him to 
 recall Monsieur de FOrchestre to his duties. 
 He was then seized with a violent desire 
 for a breath of fresh air and a cigarette, 
 and forgetting altogether the pretty Miss 
 Bramble, he tried to open the hall door, but 
 the strange old fastenings defied all his 
 efforts to undo them. In the mean time
 
 THE WHITEPATCH BALL. 179 
 
 the servant came running back into the 
 hall, and seeing the General, exclaimed, 
 " that the French gentleman sent back word 
 that he * didn't mean to play any more.' 
 
 " Not play any more ! ' said the 
 General. " What do yon mean ? Yon 
 didn't understand him, very likely ? ' 
 
 " Yes, Sir Peter, I quite understood him ; 
 he spoke quite plain enough English, and 
 said that he was not going to play any 
 more." 
 
 Up rose the wrath of a British general 
 at this act of mutiny. 
 
 " Where is he ? he said. 
 
 " He's in the servants' hall, Sir Peter." 
 
 " Show me the way ! ' And the General 
 marched off for the servants' hall. On 
 arriving there he found Monsieur had been 
 conducted to the farmers' room to smoke 
 a cigar.
 
 180 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 " Show rae the way ! ' again cried the 
 General ; and he was led through a door into 
 a long passage dimly lighted. 
 
 " Where is it ? " he again said. 
 
 " The last door on the left, Sir Peter — 
 down at the bottom." 
 
 " Very well ; that will do. I can find it 
 myself." And the servant retired, making 
 way for him to pass. 
 
 Now, what the General took for the last 
 door on the left was not, strictly speaking, a 
 door at all, but simply a doorway that went 
 down a few steps into a long underground 
 passage which led to the old dairy. 
 
 The General went down the steps, but all 
 was darkness. " Confound this old barrack ! 
 where the devil is it?" he said; but remem- 
 bering the Colon el's former strict notions 
 about tobacco, he thought the famous 
 farmers' room he had so often heard of
 
 THE WHITEPATCH BALL. 181 
 
 was very likely " down here somewhere," 
 though he had never seen it. Pulling out 
 his little box of wax matches, he lighted 
 ODe. Instantly, the whole place was 
 ablaze as if with a thousand lights, and he 
 saw advancing slowly towards him a tall 
 powerful, figure with a dark evil face and 
 a deep scar in the forehead that reached to 
 the eyebrow. It was dressed in an antique 
 naval uniform, with a broad leather belt 
 round its body and with a sword by its 
 side. The General turned as cold as ice, 
 and could move neither hand nor foot. The 
 figure passed him slowly in the narrow 
 passage, and the only thing he was then 
 conscious of was a sudden darkness. How 
 long he remained in this state he could not 
 tell, but he at last gained power over his 
 limbs and sprang up the steps again into 
 the passage above. " Pooh, pooh ! ' he
 
 182 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 said, "I have had too much of that good 
 champagne ; it's the chill of that infernal 
 dungeon ! I am an old ass to be exciting 
 myself like this over a ball ! But I must 
 find that damned little Frenchman ! ' 
 
 At this moment a door opened close 
 to him, and Monsieur de l'Orchestre, with 
 a long Italian straw cigar smoulde'ring 
 in his hand, showed himself in the opening. 
 He had such a gloomy look of unutterable 
 injury and woe that it was quite touching, 
 and the General suppresed his wrath for 
 a moment to hear what could possibly have 
 happened. 
 
 Monsieur had been grossly insulted, he 
 had been sent to have both his dinner and 
 supper in the hall of the domestics, to sit 
 down with his subordinates, and to be 
 treated with familiarity by the crowd of 
 common servants ; he had not had even
 
 THE WHITEPATCH BALL. 183 
 
 one modest glass of wine offered him ; 
 " rien! rien de tout ! ' but that "execrable ' 
 servants' " bierre." Nor was this all, no 
 refreshments had been sent during the 
 evening, " rien ! rien ! ' shut up as they 
 were in that "e'troit enfer," where there 
 was no means of escape without a breach 
 of the conventionalities. (Here Harrison's 
 supervision had broken down — if it had 
 only been now the Canterbury band ! ) 
 
 The General's military habits immedi- 
 ately sympathized with this degradation 
 of rank, and he felt that Monsieur had 
 cause for his provocation if not for his act 
 of mutiny ; but when he reflected how well 
 he had done his duty until the irritable 
 artist-nature had got the upper hand, he 
 condoned that also. Then the crisis would 
 allow no time for a long battle of words 
 and the exercise of his proper authority,
 
 184 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 and Monsieur was after all a distinguished 
 artist, with some real genius in his own 
 line. So, with much tact he praised the 
 excellence of his band, and enlarged on 
 the insular stupidity of English servants. 
 Then, requesting Monsieur to favour him 
 with a light for his cigarette, a tall portly 
 figure and a little wiry one were soon to 
 be seen marching up the dim passage 
 arm-in-arm, with their lighted cigar and 
 cigarette, the little figure exclaiming with 
 much gesticulation, " Monsieur le Gene'ral, 
 je vous assure ce n'est pas l'argent ! ce 
 n'est pas l'argent ! ' To which a hearty 
 voice replied, " Cher inaitre, je vous croix, 
 je vous croix de tout mon cceur ! v 
 
 The General marched his little friend, 
 still arm-in-arm, up to the door of the 
 servants' hall in sight of his band and 
 the assembled domestics and outsiders.
 
 THE WHITEPATCH BALL. 185 
 
 Then, after many bows, flourishes, and 
 expressions in which the word " honour ' 
 held a prominent place, he found himself 
 once more in the dining-room where, 
 indeed, not only a glass but a large 
 tumbler of the " Colonel's champagne " was 
 drunk with great satisfaction and benefit. 
 
 Sir Peter's next care was to get hold 
 of the Colonel, and Harrison was ordered 
 in a peremptory manner to immediately 
 take a good supply of champagne into 
 the wooden box, and the guests soon 
 began to return to the ball room. 
 
 The amour-propre of the excitable little 
 artist being now appeased, and the etroit 
 enfer being magically cooled and enlarged 
 by the entrance of a very liberal supply 
 of fine champagne, he set to work again 
 with enthusiasm and good will, repeating 
 to himself, as he led his band, in a low
 
 186 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 voice, " II n'y a personne comme un vrai 
 getilhomme anglais," producing some of his 
 choicest " morsels," penetrating and tender 
 rhythmical waltzes that would change the 
 heart (after supper) of the most club- 
 depraved bachelor (one of them his own 
 composition, which the General called for 
 a second time), quadrilles, lancers, gallops, 
 aud mazurkas — the latter introduced as 
 extras on his own responsibility — all led 
 with such fire and spirit, such dreamy 
 sweetness in the tender passages, such 
 well-balanced light and shade, pause, and 
 enlivening quickness at the right moment, 
 and succeeding each other with such 
 rapidity, that the spirit of the dance which 
 is so deeply interwoven in human nature 
 was stirred as nature intends, and no one 
 in the room hardly could sit still with such 
 "splendid music r sounding in their ears.
 
 THE WHITEPATCH BALL. 187 
 
 The really fine champagne had its effects 
 also — prince of wines for sluggish English 
 nerves — so soft and pure it could harm no 
 one, scarcely even intoxicate, drank in 
 reasonable moderation, yet with an agree- 
 able life-lifting power, that did its work 
 with the simplicity of excellence ; and even 
 the ladies drank well of it without fear, 
 when assured of its sinless character by 
 their appreciative and responsible partners. 
 
 Then, as the evening wore on, the clear 
 and fragrant chicken broth, the sassafras 
 jellies — a delicate and sustaining compound 
 for the ladies, found to be more refreshing 
 than the ices — another traditional confec- 
 tion at the Manor unearthed by Harrison, 
 and, still later on, the fine Russian tea, 
 served in little gems of real old willow 
 
 r 
 
 pattern, which all felt bound to taste, for 
 had it not been a brilliant idea of the
 
 188 WHITE? ATCH. 
 
 Colonel's, who remembered its good effect 
 in the small hours at a ball in Paris in his 
 younger days, and for which he had sent 
 expressly to that capital, paying for it a 
 fabulous price ; this proved so refreshing, 
 and the cups so small, that more had to be 
 sent for, and the Colonel was delighted 
 until at length human nature gave in, and 
 the ball broke up. 
 
 When the Colonel retired to bed after 
 a smoke with 4 the gentlemen in his room, 
 great was his astonishment to hear his old 
 friend Don Carlos over his head gravely 
 reminding him that it was five o'clock in 
 the morning ! 
 
 Lady Grandison, on awaking some hours 
 afterwards, found her good old comrade, 
 with whom she had shared many a strange 
 bed, turned from her in deep sleep — but 
 it was the sleep that never waketh !
 
 ( 189 > 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 "misfortunes never come alone/' and 
 the story creeps up the in- 
 evitable hill of true life. 
 
 The Colonel had returned from the 
 General's funeral, which was a very 
 crowded affair — his death causing deep 
 regret. Monsieur de l'Orchestre had come 
 down expressly from town for it, uninvited, 
 after the excellent custom of his country, 
 and shed an honest tear over this " perfait 
 gentilhomme anglais." The Colonel blamed 
 himself for having killed his old friend 
 by allowing him to overtax his strength 
 at the ball. But, if he was guilty in any
 
 190 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 way, it was the great pipe was the real 
 culprit. He was engaged in slowly com- 
 posing an appropriate letter on slight 
 mourning paper to the widow, offering 
 to place at her disposal, rent free, a 
 pleasant little old house and garden on 
 his property, " which sadly wanted some 
 one to save it from going to ruin," should 
 she have not found anything else that 
 would suit her better, and should the 
 4 'recent unhappy circumstance not prove 
 an insuperable obstacle to the neighbour- 
 hood ; ' for the General was not rich, and 
 his widow would now have only moderate 
 means at her command — when Harrison 
 came to the door to say his wife would 
 be glad of the parchments for the apricot 
 preserve. This was a great affair at the 
 Manor, for which Mrs. Harrison and a 
 certain old wall in the kitchen garden
 
 "MISFORTUNES NEVER COME ALONE." 191 
 
 were justly famed ; many pots of this 
 preserve being yearly sent to the neigh- 
 bours around. 
 
 " Oh ! ' said the Colonel, putting down 
 his pen. He had sorted out some worth- 
 less old leases and deeds, the blank sheets 
 of which were used by Mrs. Harrison for 
 export business and the others for home 
 use — as she was a finished artist of delicate 
 sense and greatly disliked covering her 
 conserves with those " nasty new things ' 
 which, in her opinion, always left a taste 
 and a smell ; and, besides, real old parch- 
 ment covers, thick and solid, gave a 
 veritable stamp of " good home made " 
 not to be obtained from the grocers. The 
 Colonel quite appreciated this nicety, and he 
 begrimed himself with dust rumaging once 
 a year on her behalf; but he had left the 
 old deeds he had selected for her in the
 
 192 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 library. Being deep in the composition 
 of his letter he hesitated a moment, then 
 unlocked a drawer and gave Harrison the 
 key of the sacred room. 
 
 " You will find them heaped up in the 
 big chair by the window ; but go yourself, 
 Harrison," he said, having a great objection 
 to women entering the library for various 
 reasons — one being that he was immedi- 
 ately tormented to have it cleaned and 
 set to rights ; other and deeper ones the 
 reader is already acquainted with. But 
 Harrison was not free from the ordinary 
 servant's inability to obey to the letter 
 precise orders — and regarding his wife as 
 himself, he let her go in his stead. 
 
 During Mrs. Harrison's absence, the 
 news arrived that Sarah was going to be 
 married immediately. This interesting 
 event, following the circumstances already
 
 "MISFORTUNES NEVER COME ALONE." 193 
 
 described, set so many tongues going, and 
 caused such a stoppage in public busi- 
 ness, that Mrs. Harrison's absence was 
 not remarked for some time, until at 
 length she was "wanted," and nowhere 
 to be found. Harrison became a little 
 uneasy, and on going to the library to see 
 if she was still there, wondering if she had 
 succumbed to her irresistible desire to "put 
 things to rights," he discovered her on the 
 ground just inside the door in a dying and 
 speechless condition. She never rallied 
 or spoke again, and within a week was 
 buried in a sunny corner of the old church- 
 yard, selected by herself only the summer 
 before as " the place she would like to 
 le m. 
 
 What she had seen, or if she had seen 
 anything at all but the heap of old deeds 
 in the lap of the armchair, no one ever 
 
 VOL. I. 13
 
 194 WHITEPATCIL 
 
 knew. Was the Colonel again guilty of 
 unintentional manslaughter ? Before he 
 is convicted, however, it must in fairness 
 be stated that Mrs. Harrison had greatly 
 overexerted herself at the time of the ball ; 
 and some of the other servants had 
 observed her to " be not herself 1 ever 
 since. 
 
 Meanwhile, Mary had been somewhat 
 diverted from her own misfortune by these 
 tragic events ; but the wound remained, 
 as with most unchanging natures, she was 
 a little wanting also in that elasticity 
 which readily rebounds from a sudden 
 overthrowing. Perhaps her love of fun 
 might have been a help to her, but she had 
 nothing to call it out. She had no young 
 companions excepting Spillett, and the 
 events of the Manor were too familiar, 
 or too sacred, to be laughed at by her —
 
 "MISFORTUNES NEVER COME ALONE." 195 
 
 though, indeed, the comic element was not 
 entirely wanting. The house, which only 
 a short time before no one was allowed 
 to profane with the faintest odour of 
 tobacco, now reeked of it; as the Colonel 
 smoked incessantly and wherever he might 
 happen to be, in spite of the significant 
 sniffs of his daughter. The great lubricator, 
 so perfect in theory, was found to be sticky 
 and clogging in practice, and one morning 
 the gravity of the good Rector was sorely 
 tried by hearing Don Carlos strike three 
 in the middle of his sermon, with the 
 Colonel sitting in front of him. But an 
 unexpected event now arrived, which 
 brought a little new hope and diversion 
 to Mary. The Hon. Dick had come down 
 to pay a visit in the neighbourhood, to the 
 fresh pricking up of country gossip, which 
 had already been much stirred by recent
 
 196 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 events at Whitepatch. There could be 
 
 only one reason for his escaping from 
 
 regimental duties and coming down there. 
 
 This being settled with absolute certainty, 
 
 no other would be accepted for a moment. 
 
 A fixed idea in a dull country district, 
 
 where any new food for gossip is readily 
 
 grasped, but not so readily given up, is 
 
 not easily routed, even by positive proof to 
 
 the contrary, and Mary Doddingstead was 
 
 as certainly the future Lady Huntingcroft, 
 
 in the minds of her neighbours, as if they 
 
 had all seen her married in Whitepatch 
 
 church. Nor did the good people allow 
 
 themselves to be in any way thrown off 
 
 the scent by the announcement of the Hon. 
 
 Dick's friends, that he had come down 
 
 solely to take a small hunting-box for the 
 
 season, called the Little Sack, it being an 
 
 easy distance from town for him to run
 
 "MISFORTUNES NEVER COME ALONE." 197 
 
 backwards and forwards. Indeed, some 
 thought the engagement had already taken 
 place, and that they should see Miss Mary 
 putting a little colour into her cheeks by 
 riding to hounds with her " future in- 
 tended." But Mary, with the intuitive 
 perception of the sensitive and tender- 
 hearted, divined at once that a party 
 of rescue had appeared in the distance. 
 In fact, the Hon. Dick — who was rather 
 apt to get his fingers burnt by an excess 
 of friendliness of disposition — moved by 
 the despair and distress of his comrade, 
 and to say the truth, not a little bored by 
 having to listen to the one eternal subject, 
 had had the happy idea of both effecting 
 an escape and uniting business and pleasure 
 in an effort to help him. As he had been 
 received with special favour and distinction 
 by the Colonel — both on account of his
 
 198 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 former friendship with Dick's father and 
 his own personal merits, and because also of 
 the high opinion entertained of him by the 
 General — he felt that over-confidence which 
 the ready throwing open of the gates of 
 friendship is apt to raise in sanguine 
 natures without very ready perceptions. 
 
 Captain Huntingcroft came over at once 
 to call at Whitepatch, and was cordially 
 received by the Colonel, who jumped to 
 the same conclusion as his neighbours as 
 to the object of his visit to these paits; 
 and hoped all might yet end well, if Mary 
 was not obstinate. Miss Mary, then, was 
 soon to be seen at some of the meets, 
 mounted on Queen Elizabeth, and ac- 
 companied by her grandfather, though 
 without the predicted accession of colour 
 in her face ; and intercourse between the 
 two young people became very frequent.
 
 "MISFORTUNES NEVER COME ALONE." 199 
 
 The Hon. Dick was not long in disclosing 
 his intentions to Mary. His plan was to 
 watch for an opportunity, and boldly 
 demand her hand for his friend ; trusting 
 to the natural merits of the case to be 
 enabled to fight it out with the Colonel. 
 But Mary was of a different opinion, and 
 persuaded him to say nothing until she 
 herself gave the signal; and so exactly 
 did they behave like a pair of undeclared 
 lovers, that every one was on the tiptoe 
 of expectation. Mary was not long in 
 seeing the danger of this in the disappoint- 
 ment it would cause the Colonel ; it was, 
 however, such an extremely difficult thing 
 for her to convey this to the Hon. Dick, 
 who, as it has been said, was readier in 
 action than in perception, that she decided 
 to take the matter into her own hands, and 
 make the Colonel understand that there
 
 200 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 was not u anything of that kind ' between 
 them. 
 
 During this time another question of 
 high political importance in our little 
 world had been agitating the Manor-house 
 — the appointment of a new housekeeper to 
 replace Mrs. Harrison. The widower was 
 for some time inconsolable, as his wife had 
 been his right hand, working with him in 
 perfect confidence and accord, and helping 
 him to maintain the discipline and the 
 contented good order of the household. 
 Spillett, however, was remarkably good 
 to him, ceasing her impertinences, and 
 helping him in every possible way in the 
 general management — so much so, that 
 John, the head footman, who was des- 
 perately in love with her, became ex- 
 ceedingly jealous. Miss Doddingstead had 
 a dim notion, instigated by Jenkins, that
 
 a 
 
 MISFORTUNES NEVER COME ALONE." 201 
 
 she could improve matters in the household 
 by breaking the Harrison-Spillett ministry, 
 as the Colonel never interfered in house- 
 hold affairs — excepting to look at the bill 
 of fare, or to raise a sudden storm if any- 
 thing put him out of his usual habits — 
 confining himself to the stables and 
 gardens. Harrison's desire to instal a 
 friend of his wife's, then available, was 
 overruled, and Miss . Doddingstead en- 
 gaged a housekeeper recommended to her 
 by Lady Gentlebird (a distant country 
 neighbour) as a paragon of excellence, and 
 quite remarkable " for her talent in keep- 
 ing people in order." (She omitted to 
 mention that she was parting with her 
 because no other servant would remain 
 under the same roof.) 
 
 We must now again return to our 
 heroine. The Colonel was taking his
 
 202 WIIITEPATCH. 
 
 usual quarter-deck walk in the kitchen- 
 garden, when Mary joined him. The poor 
 child had not at this moment to fight 
 another battle with him, but only the 
 disagreeable task of letting down by the 
 run the wide sails with which he was so 
 happily skimming away on a false tack. 
 He received her with such graciousness 
 and kindness, and with such a cheerful 
 face, that her courage nearly failed her. 
 
 " Well, my dear," he said, " and how are 
 you getting on ? " 
 
 " Oh, very well, grandpapa," she said, 
 with an intonation that might mean 
 anything. Taking hold of the two gloves 
 which he held loosely in his left hand, 
 she walked by his side. 
 
 This affectionate little sisrn he knew 
 
 o 
 
 well meant something of importance, and 
 the breeze freshened in the old man's sails.
 
 "MISFORTUNES NEVER COME ALONE." 203 
 
 " When are you going to have another 
 ride ? " he said. 
 
 " Captain Huntingcroft is coming over 
 to luncheon to-morrow, grandpapa, and we 
 might go back with him, if you like." 
 
 " Oh yes, I remember now. As you 
 please, my dear. What a capital fellow he 
 is ! ' said the Colonel enthusiastically. It 
 would be impossible for any one not to 
 like him." 
 
 " I like him extremely, too, grandpapa," 
 said Mary, getting a little closer to him. 
 
 The Colonel thought he was going to 
 hear the much-hoped-for news, though 
 a shade of displeasure crossed his mind as 
 he thought the young fellow ought to have 
 come to him first. But young people, he 
 reflected, are so different in these days, and 
 he was glad of any port in a storm. 
 
 " But I don't want you to think — that
 
 204 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 I — that is — that there is anything else, 
 grandpapa," she said, a brilliant colour 
 coming into her face. 
 
 The Colonel stopped short, and looking 
 at her, thought what a handsome child it 
 was, but he did not yet understand. " You 
 mean that he has not spoken to you, my 
 dear? That is quite proper, and I like 
 him the better for it." 
 
 " No, dear grandpapa, it is not that 
 either," she said, getting still closer to him, 
 and hiding her face. 
 
 " I don't quite understand, my dear." 
 
 Then Mary had to declare that there 
 was " nothing of that sort ' between them. 
 and that even if Captain Huntingcroft 
 cared for her, which she was sure he did 
 not — in that way — she could never care 
 for him more than as a friend. 
 
 a Have you had a, little quarrel, Mary ? '
 
 "MISFORTUNES NEVER COME ALONE." 205 
 
 " No indeed, it is not that either ! We 
 are always great friends." 
 
 Then the Colonel understood that his 
 hopes were crushed again for the present, 
 and they walked on in silence ; but there 
 was the old twitching of his eyebrows, and 
 the look of deep pain in his face. The 
 gardener coming up soon to speak to him, 
 Mary stole away, and ran into the house 
 with tears on her cheeks, meeting Spillett 
 on the stairs, who informed her that the 
 new housekeeper had arrived, and that 
 " they didn't like the look of her at all."
 
 206 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 THE HOUSEKEEPER WHO " HAD SUCH A TALENT 
 FOR KEEPING PEOPLE IX ORDER," AND 
 THE NORTH TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 
 
 Mrs. Walker was a large sturdy York- 
 shire woman, with a big head, and a look 
 about her that was suggestive of fight 
 at the very first glance. She had a good 
 knowledge of her business, no doubt, and 
 in her early days had lived in several of 
 the great families in her own county ; 
 and so impressed was she with the native 
 superiority of this immaculate shire, thai 
 she was convinced any one born a mile 
 beyond its borders could never be much
 
 THE NORTH TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 207 
 
 more than tolerable. She commenced 
 business with great decision and prompti- 
 tude ; and the tea in the housekeeper's 
 room was not over before she had made 
 a mortal enemy of Spillett, whom, however, 
 she completely underrated, and regarded 
 only as " the young lady's maid." Harrison, 
 who was quietly taking her measure, looked 
 forward to much enlivenment of their often 
 rather dull life by the inevitable little war 
 which he scented between these two women 
 — though in his own mind he was disposed 
 to back Spillett. Jenkins, however, reported 
 at head-quarters, that " Mrs. Spillett would 
 be finely put into her proper place now." 
 
 At supper, the same evening, matters 
 did not improve. 
 
 Now Harrison's name was a true York- 
 shire one, though he came from Deal. His 
 father had been a captain and small owner
 
 208 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 of vessels, and his grandfather had been 
 a pilot hailing from that port. He himself, 
 though brought up as a seaman, had entered 
 the Colonel's service by an accident con- 
 nected with yachting ; there he fell in love 
 with his late wife, who was in service at 
 the Manor, married her, and remained at 
 Whitepatch. 
 
 Although he was very dark, with a little 
 grey in his hair now, he was a fine, well- 
 built man of the Yorkshire type, with a 
 powerful chest, and the air of being able 
 " to lift a church." He had also a peculiar 
 way of speaking, which may be still 
 observed in some of the natives on the east 
 coast from Scarborough to Kent, which often 
 reminds one of the north. Hence Mrs. 
 Walker jumped to the conclusion that he 
 must be a Yorkshireman also ; and not 
 being insensible to good looks in a man,
 
 THE NORTH TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 203 
 
 she was pugnaciously gracious to him, 
 remarking that " he must be from York- 
 shire too." 
 
 On his replying that he was a native of 
 Deal, and never heard that his family had 
 anything to do with the people in the 
 north, she observed, with a patronizing air, 
 " Oh, then he was only a southerner." 
 
 Harrison took his ground at once. 
 " Yes, indeed, and he was glad to say he 
 belonged to people who didn't think their 
 betters dirt, like those radical, ill-mannered 
 folks that came from the north." 
 
 " Radical and ill-mannered ! " exclaimed 
 the Yorkshirewoman. " They might be 
 independent and know their own value — 
 it was not unlikely — but they had a right 
 to, as they were first in everything, in 
 Yorkshire specially — every one knew that ; 
 they were a stronger and a finer folk than 
 
 VOL. i. 14
 
 210 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 any, and built all the railways, and ships, 
 and docks, and made all the engines, and 
 all the haras that were real hams, and all 
 the clothes people wore, even out in Africa ; 
 and they had never been conquered slaves 
 like the people in the south, who were soft 
 as a sheep for the most part, and didn't 
 know what a real hard day's work meant — 
 ask any captain of a vessel — and the 
 gentlefolks too, were real gentlefolks, and 
 didn't mind what they spent in being 
 neighbourly and such like, and would ruin 
 themselves right out to prevent any of 
 your meddling topsy-turns, who came down 
 from a London paper, being elected to 
 Parliament; and they didn't live upon 
 growing hops and selling them high, when 
 they were stale and rotten, to make bad 
 beer for the low London publics ; and 
 the places they lived in were mostly
 
 THE NORTII TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 211 
 
 real castles, something like for gentlefolks 
 to live in, and not ramshackle make- 
 believes that was nothing but doors and 
 draughts and queer outsides, as there was 
 in some parts." 
 
 There being a certain modicum of truth 
 in the statements of this terrible patriot, 
 only dimly understood by the audience, it 
 was highly offensive and irritating both to 
 Harrison and Spillett. The former with 
 difficulty restrained himself from speaking, 
 though curious to see how far she would 
 run, and he was just going to reply 
 angrily, " It was wonderful that, if they 
 had such a fine country up there, they 
 should run away from it in such crowds 
 to find places in the south ! " when a bright 
 glance from Spillett arrested him, as this 
 astute young person had quickly decided 
 it would never do to fight this woman
 
 212 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 with her own clumsy weapons. She must 
 be got rid of in another way. Harrison 
 reflected a moment that shindies meant bad 
 government, and that he intended still to be 
 master, so he replied quietly, " it was a 
 pity she had ever left it," — which remark, 
 touching some deep sores in Mrs. Walker's 
 career, silenced her more effectuallv thai, 
 he expected, and she paused to reflect on 
 the ill-treatment she had received from 
 those who ought to have known better. 
 When the conversation was again renewed, 
 it was remarkable to see the air of a 
 great lady which Spillett suddenly as- 
 sumed, addressing her as " Mrs. Walker ' 
 in that tone of cold dignity which a 
 duchess could not have better assumed in 
 checking presumption and familiarity, and 
 which had a moderating effect on this 
 "superior person ' in spite of herself.
 
 THE NORTH TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 213 
 
 But Jenkins again reported at head- 
 quarters that " Mr. Harrison and Mrs. 
 Spillett had been nicely silenced at supper- 
 time ; ' and head-quarters plumed itself on 
 its wisdom. 
 
 When Mary and the Hon. Dick again 
 met, they held secret counsel as usual, but 
 Mary enjoined great caution, as she feared 
 her grandfather's observation would be 
 now more keenly alive to what was 
 passing. Their intercourse, however, re- 
 mained much as before. This rash young 
 gentleman, however, began to find that 
 such close intercourse with Mary was be- 
 coming dangerous to his own peace of 
 mind, and even to his honour as a friend ; 
 and at one moment he became impatient 
 to terminate his visit, though at the next 
 it gave him pain to think of going away. 
 But as Mary was certain that nothing
 
 214 WHTTEPATCH. 
 
 could be done until the Colonel had a little 
 recovered from his disappointment, she 
 still held her friend back. 
 
 Spillett stuck to her opinion that her 
 only chance was to run away, and, "besides, 
 it was the regular thing. Heiresses who 
 had any spirit always did run away when 
 the front door was slammed in their lover's 
 faces. Pedigrees were full of it, if one did 
 but know, though nothing was said about 
 it in the making." And so the time 
 passed in hopes and fears and long des- 
 perate letters (the Hon. Dick only read a 
 quarter of them), which arrived by nearly 
 every post at the Little Sack. It did not 
 hurt Mary's conscience to hear at second 
 hand some of their contents, though she 
 would send nothing in return beyond what 
 the Hon. Dick could convey from his own 
 observation — which she considered might
 
 THE NORTH TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 215 
 
 be quite sufficient, if he had his eyes 
 open. 
 
 It was not long before the ghosts became 
 a frequent subject of conversation in the 
 housekeeper's room, which even Harrison, 
 though it brought him sad reflections, 
 did not try to check as usual. Jenkins 
 was much engaged with her mistress at 
 this time, as she had at last caught " her 
 bad cold," of which the moral symptom 
 was a small tyranny, unknown at other 
 times, and she would hardly be left alone 
 for a moment. Spillett did not fail to seize 
 the occasion of such an open field. She 
 suddenly developed quite a fine melo- 
 dramatic invention in her descriptions of 
 the apparitions that haunted the house, 
 heroically overcoming her own fears in 
 this moment of state danger. The maiden 
 of the eastern stairs " altered the character
 
 216 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 of your blood, so that it was never the 
 same again," by the terrible look of her 
 dark eyes. And Mrs. Walker was caught 
 staring at the picture on the stairs with an 
 almost bumpkin expression of awe. Then 
 the giant figure of the murdered naval 
 captain, who came out of the undiscovered 
 passage into the old dairy — a place that 
 had known centuries of wickedness — had 
 now " his huge cutlass drawn in his right 
 hand, dripping with shining great drops 
 of red blood that became sparks of fire 
 when they touched the ground, and a 
 ghastly wound reached from the top of 
 his head down to his right eye — which 
 had gone ; and after he had frozen you 
 into a statue, when you could no more 
 move than if you were screwed up in a 
 coffin, he paced backwards and forwards 
 near you like a sailor on the deck of a 
 ship."
 
 THE NORTH TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 217 
 
 When Harrison's back was turned, Spil- 
 lett gave Mrs. Walker a low whispered 
 account, in friendly confidence, of the sad 
 fate of his wife, and the evil spirit of the 
 old squire, who shot his only son, and who 
 was let loose a short time every day at 
 dusk from the wicked place, and who " had 
 power to close the door behind you as soon 
 as you entered the library, so that it 
 couldn't be opened again, and then to 
 make you fall to the ground speechless." 
 The garden ghost (a doubtful tradition 
 among the servants only) was now a 
 spectral figure " nearly as tall as two men, 
 that came out of the garden and passed 
 through the kitchen court just before bed- 
 time." All of which had such an effect on 
 the unfortunate woman, that she returned 
 to the burden of her old song as she put 
 herself to bed — " There was no peace 
 anywhere in this wicked world."
 
 218 WHITEPA.TCH. 
 
 There was certainly no peace amongst 
 the household at the Manor. Nothing 
 was done as it ought to be in a real 
 gentleman's house. Things were very dif- 
 ferent in the houses Mrs. Walker had been 
 accustomed to. No under servant was to 
 be down a minute later than half-past five 
 in the morning — in Yorkshire, in the great 
 houses, they had often to begin at five ; the 
 dirt in the old offices was enough to breed 
 a pestilence ; and the house itself was no 
 cleaner than a lodging at Scarborough ! 
 Did they want to sit the whole day over 
 their meals, giggling about their lovers and 
 talking small at their betters ? The men 
 had no business in the kitchen at all. 
 except to fetch and carry, instead of 
 stopping about to make sheep's eyes at 
 the maids over a dish cover. Xo one 
 knew their own proper work, and they did
 
 THE NORTH TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 219 
 
 nothing but scrimmage about after one 
 another, like a school-treat broke lose at 
 a railway junction. All of which was 
 largely in the good woman's own imagina- 
 tion ; for, although the offices were very 
 old, no doubt, and things had got a little 
 lax and out of joint since Mrs. Harrison's 
 death, the house was neither dirty nor in 
 any way disorderly for a happy family 
 of old servants who helped each other 
 pleasantly for the sake of the chat, and 
 had never been accustomed to be drilled 
 like a regiment of soldiers. But, then, if 
 we happen to know ourselves to be superior, 
 we must make our superiority to be felt on 
 our own ground ; and such a rebellion arose 
 among the under servants, who declared 
 they " were treated like dirt," and would 
 all give warning, that Harrison and Spil- 
 lett had some difficulty in quieting them
 
 220 WIIITEPATCH. 
 
 without disclosing their own plans ; for 
 Jenkins and Mrs. Walker had become as 
 thick as the proverbial thieves, and they 
 saw that the least imprudence on their 
 parts would throw the power into the 
 Jenkins faction and probably ensure their 
 own downfall. There was also a fear lest 
 this danger might extend to Spillett's 
 father in the stables ; for Harrison knew 
 that if he went to the Colonel and laid 
 matters before him, he was extremely 
 likely to take his daughter's part, however 
 much he might think her in the wrong ; 
 and Mr. Spillett, who had a spirit of his 
 own, was sure to take the part of his Jenny. 
 At length it was decided that the Hon. 
 Dick should make his grand attempt on 
 the Colonel, and Mary took a leaf from her 
 maid's book and advised a ride as the 
 easiest moment to brinir the matter for-
 
 THE NORTH TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 221 
 
 ward naturally. So the Colonel was again 
 artfully trotted out on his old hunter for 
 diplomatic purposes. The Hon. Dick had 
 had such cautions instilled into him by 
 Mary, that he hardly knew how to begin ; 
 but he felt the greatest circumspection 
 must be used, and as little appearance of 
 opposition as possible ; so he assumed the 
 tone of a young officer to his colonel, when 
 he has some particular favour to ask. 
 
 " I am afraid I shall have to be a good 
 deal in town just now, sir," he said. " I 
 shall not see you again for some time. I 
 am in hot water as it is with the Colonel." 
 
 " I am sorry to hear that ; but you know 
 whenever you can run down again we shall 
 be here." 
 
 " You are very kind, sir. I have enjoyed 
 coming over to Whitepatch immensely ; 
 but as I shall not see you again for some
 
 222 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 time, there is a matter I have on my 
 conscience I should like to speak to you 
 about, if you will allow me." 
 
 The Colonel began to wonder if he w 
 going to propose for Mary after all. " Oh, 
 certainlv " he said. 
 
 " Of course I only wish to mention it to 
 you, and not to interfere with your own 
 judgment in any way, and I feel how 
 little right I have to say anything at all ; 
 but you have been so awfully kind to me — 
 and I am sure you won't think it is any- 
 thing like interference, Colonel Dodding- 
 stead, or anything of that sort." 
 
 The Colonel knew that the Hon. Dick 
 and Captain Wyldeman were quartered 
 together, and had several times reflected on 
 this odd coincidence, and a suspicion of 
 what was coming crossed his mind. 
 
 " Well ? ' he said rather shortly.
 
 THE NORTH TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 223 
 
 The enterprising guardsman tightened 
 his reins. 
 
 " My friend, Frank Wyldeman, has told 
 me of his unfortunate attachment to your 
 granddaughter, and as he is a thundering 
 good fellow, and not at all like his father 
 or the rest of his family, as you, sir, per- 
 haps think, I rashly promised to intercede 
 for him if I could. But, of course, it is 
 no business of mine, really, and if you 
 think I am wrong I am very sorry indeed ; 
 but he is a fellow I would do anything in 
 the world for ! " 
 
 " Captain Huntingcroft, I regret deeply 
 to say this match can never be with my 
 consent. It is quite impossible that I can 
 ever allow my granddaughter to enter that 
 family." 
 
 " But don't you think it's deuced hard, 
 sir, for a fellow to be swamped by his
 
 224 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 relations in a matter like this ? If you 
 could only inform yourself in the right 
 quarters, you'd find there is not a hetter 
 fellow living in any way ! Everyhody 
 likes and respects him, and he is considered 
 one of the best officers we have had for 
 some time, and he will distinguish himself 
 certainly if he has a chance." 
 
 " All that I do not deny," said the 
 Colonel. " He may be what you say, for 
 anything I know to the contrary ; but my 
 prejudice — if you like to call it so — against 
 his father is invincible." 
 
 " But are you sure, Colonel Dodding- 
 stead, that your granddaughter's happiness 
 is not deeply involved also ? Neither is it 
 very fair on Wvkleman, I think, that they 
 should have been allowed to see so much of 
 each other ; and, I assure you, he is deeply 
 attaehed to her, and has been quite a
 
 THE NOKTH TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 225 
 
 different man ever since they met in 
 Gloucestershire." 
 
 " I acknowledge," said the Colonel, " that 
 there was some remissness on my part in 
 the matter ; but I entrusted her implicitly 
 to Lady Worthingham, whom I have 
 known half my life, and knew nothing of 
 what was going on until my granddaughter's 
 return. Because I have made one error 
 you cannot, I hope, endeavour to persuade 
 me that I am to make a worse one." 
 
 " But, Colonel Doddingstead, would it be 
 a worse one? " 
 
 " My mind is quite made up, sir ! ' said 
 the Colonel, getting hot at last, " and I 
 must beg that you will not let me hear you 
 allude to the subject again." And he 
 trotted on, as he had formerly done with 
 Mary. 
 
 The two men, however, parted at last 
 
 vol. i. 15
 
 226 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 with sufficient cordiality ; as the Colonel 
 had great regard for the Hon. Dick, and 
 liked a courageous opponent — particularly 
 when he had been beaten, and he sighed 
 as he rode off at the turning, to think 
 what a pity it was he could not have 
 pleaded for himself. 
 
 But the Hon. Dick — who did not like to 
 get his fingers burnt, even though he 
 thrust them into the fire with his eyes open 
 — as he trotted off on his own road, most 
 disrespectfully declared " he had never 
 seen such an obstinate, hot-headed old 
 turkey-cock since he was born, and that it 
 would serve him right if they ran away 
 together to-morrow ! ' 
 
 Captain Huntingcroft departed early the 
 next morning for town, but Mary, during 
 the day, received a packet of books he had 
 promised to lend her ; and inside the
 
 THE NORTH TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 227 
 
 parcel was a letter. The Colonel had 
 given no sign of what had happened 
 during his ride. He had merely remarked 
 that " our youug friend is going to town 
 again to-morrow," and Mary passed a 
 restless night in wondering what had really 
 taken place. The letter in the parcel was 
 as follows : — 
 
 " The Little Sack, Tuesday Evening. 
 
 " My dear Miss Doddingstead, 
 
 " I could do nothing with your 
 grandfather to-day. I think I tried my 
 best, but he is dreadfully obstinate, and I am 
 afraid I made him rather angry. I know 
 what I should do if I were Wyldeman. I 
 should come at once with a beautiful coach 
 and six horses, in the dead of the night, and 
 steal you away, whether you said yes or no, 
 and then you would be obliged to marry me 
 you know ! / should not wait very long.
 
 228 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 It is a great shame — that is all I can 
 say — after you have been allowed to come 
 together like that. But you must not lose 
 courage. I am more determined now than 
 ever it shall be, sooner or later, and it will 
 be very hard if we cannot get the better of 
 the Colonel's obstinacy between us. But 
 you must remember that Love is the King 
 in this world after all, and you must obey 
 him first, and not care too much about 
 what others say or think. You are much 
 too good and nice ever to do anything 
 really wrong, if you tried ever so hard ! 
 So don't be thinking yourself dreadfully 
 wicked because you want to do like the 
 young birds ; they are not wicked when 
 they fly off with some fine young cock who 
 has been singing to them with all his heart. 
 I hate all these conventionalities and chop- 
 ping up one's happiness for the sake of
 
 THE NOETH TRAMPLES ON THE SOUTH. 229 
 
 prejudice and position and putting one's 
 relations into the scale first. Who was 
 that fellow who said something about red 
 tape ? Well, now, we are just like that ! 
 People of our class are all tied up with red 
 tape, and stuck into a place where we must 
 remain. 
 
 " I expect to find it dreadfully dull in 
 town now. You will send me a line, I know, 
 to cheer me up a little, and let me know how 
 you are and how matters are getting on. 
 It is quite correct, you know, to write to a 
 slow old fellow like me ! — every one does. I 
 will send you down those other books I 
 promised you about art, I have got them 
 somewhere up there. I recommend you to 
 study Hammerton; they say he has the 
 genius of good sense. But I am rather par- 
 ticular about my books, so please open the 
 parcel yourself.
 
 230 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 "You will be dreadfully bored, I fear, with 
 this long letter, but you must put your foot 
 down with the Colonel you know, and not 
 give way an inch. After all, he is much 
 too fond of you to tread on you very hard I 
 think — he would be a very odd sort of man 
 who could have the heart to do that with 
 you. I should go on telling him that you 
 are quite determined never to marry any 
 one else, about once a week, until he g< 
 jolly well tired of saying no. 
 
 " Good-bye. I am off early to-morrow, and 
 very sorry not to have seen you again. 
 " Ever your sincere Friend, 
 
 " ElCIIARD HUXTIXGCROFT. 
 
 " I shall give your love to F. TV. 
 
 m
 
 ( 231 ) 
 
 CHAPTEE XII. 
 
 THE EOBBERY AND MURDER OF MR. GREGO. 
 
 Her majesty, the Queen of Sheba, after 
 this, had a slight indisposition, and her 
 ladies in waiting, with some anxiety and 
 flutter, were attending upon her in the gar- 
 den. Mary's sitting-room was thus left in 
 possession of the King of Zanzibar and 
 Mr. Grego. 
 
 These captives together in a shivering 
 land were said to be both natives of that 
 delightfully warm little island of Zanzibar, 
 which is the supposed paradise of monkeys 
 and parrots. But the usual sympathy and 
 good feeling bred by a similarity of misfor-
 
 232 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 tune was sadly wanting in this case, and 
 their natural prejudices and propensities 
 were also kept alive by the injudicious dis- 
 tribution of the good things of this life from 
 the hands of Mary and Spillett ; for although 
 his Majesty of Zanzibar was no doubt the 
 more rapacious and self-seeking of the two, 
 he was yet treated with much injustice by 
 Spillett when Mary was not present. The 
 king, though small, was a powerful little 
 animal, with great nervous force and sur- 
 prising agility even for a monkey. He did 
 not belong to a common race, having much 
 delicacy and harmony in his proportions, 
 with almost the face of a handsome negro, 
 and a certain look of dignity in repose 
 which was sufficiently comical, and had 
 suggested his name to Mary when she had 
 heard whence he came. He had belonged 
 to a performing troop of monkeys from
 
 KOBBERY AND MURDER OF MR. GREGO. 233 
 
 Antwerp which had found its way to Deal, 
 and he had been secured, after much trouble 
 and at a large price, by Harrison for his 
 young mistress. The king was a most 
 intelligent and amusing little fellow, rarely 
 spiteful or unamiable to Mary, though 
 Spillett had always to beware of him. He 
 would dance a polka round the room in 
 very fair time to Mary's playing, holding 
 out his arms to an imaginary partner, and 
 constantly glancing over his shoulder to 
 know when he was to stop and receive his 
 reward ; he would throw two large nuts in 
 the air in imitation of a juggler until he 
 got the signal to eat them, and would march 
 across the room at a solemn pace with a 
 white pocket-handkerchief pinned round his 
 shoulders and a lighted candle in his hand — 
 
 which latter performance generally ended 
 in his trying to eat the candle.
 
 234 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 Mr. Grego was also a distinguished and 
 valuable specimen of his race — for whom 
 Mary had given another large price — as 
 her grandfather never refused her any 
 money she wanted. He had a fine head 
 and wide forehead, a plump silver-grey 
 body, and a beautiful red tail in unusually 
 flourishing condition, that was Mary's 
 delight. He also had a certain dignity 
 of his own as he sat on his perch, apparently 
 indifferent to all that was passing around 
 him, with his head slightly on one side, 
 in silent contemplation. He was a true 
 Zanzibar parrot, and no one knew his 
 exact age, but it was pronounced by the 
 proper authorities to be enormous. He 
 had a solid gold ring with an eyelet on his 
 right leg, with "Mr. Grego, 1702, W.T." 
 engraved upon it. This might have 
 belonged to another parrot no doubt ; but
 
 ROBBERY AND MURDER OF MR. GREGO. 235 
 
 as his vocabulary contained certain nautical 
 terms connected with tbe manoeuvring of 
 sails on board ship, that bad gone out of 
 general use before tbe end of tbe last 
 century, tbere was good reason to believe 
 tbat be was even much older than the date 
 on the ring. Yet he did not show his age, 
 except in his witch-like claws and the look 
 of his eyes — which were uncommonly like 
 an old wizard's. He had evidently lived 
 much on board ship, and spoke several 
 languages, and some of bis expressions were 
 so strange, it would perhaps have been 
 as well if he had passed an examination 
 before he was sent to the young lady of 
 Whitepatch Manor. 
 
 Mary, on bearing that morning of the 
 illness of the goat from Spillett, had 
 hurried down to the garden, and left her 
 to feed the monkey and parrot. Spillett
 
 236 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 had followed her quickly, leaving the 
 unfortunate king shut up in his house 
 without any breakfast, or a single nut of 
 consolation. His house, which was built 
 by Mary herself, who was an excellent 
 little carpenter (Spillett found that 
 carpentering and sticky glue-pots spoilt 
 her hands for fine work), was on a small 
 table on a level with Mr. G-rego's cage, 
 and only a few yards distant. The parrot, 
 however, was in high favour, and had 
 received a bountiful supply of nuts and 
 other good things thrown in to him with 
 hasty profusion. These he cracked and 
 munched with calm deliberation, one claw 
 in the air, under his deserted rival's nose, 
 with solemn pauses, followed immediately 
 by shrill whistles, that seemed to say, " I 
 don't care a straw for anybody." ac- 
 companied with side struts backward and
 
 BOBBERY AND MURDER OF MR. GREGO. 237 
 
 forward on his perch, which had altogether 
 a provocative air of enjoyment and self- 
 satisfaction that was quite unendurable to 
 the starving and neglected rival over the 
 way. Then he began triumphantly to dis- 
 play his accomplishments, imitating a boat- 
 swain's whistle, with a hoarse slow cry of 
 "All hands to grog ; " then, " Oh, you wicked 
 king," in Mary's gentle and reproachful 
 voice, followed immediately by " Shut him 
 up ! shut him up, ma'am I ' in Spillett's 
 clear tones. Crack, crack, as he went 
 on with his nuts. Then, after a silence, 
 " God damn the king! Go to hell, ros-bif ! " 
 with such an absurd French accent, it was 
 impossible for any human being not to 
 laugh. This was followed by a loud noise, 
 like some one knocking at a door, made 
 with his beak against the cage, answered 
 by Entrate in a pleasant Italian voice.
 
 238 AVHITEPATCH. 
 
 Then, after more crackings, and a long 
 pause in deep silence, came Lis great feat 
 in imitation, " Turn the hands out — shorten 
 sail ! " he shouted, in such a clear ringing 
 tone of urgent command, and in such a 
 loud high-pitched voice of manly energy 
 in a moment of danger, that any one who 
 had not heard it would never helieve that 
 such a startling volume of sound could 
 come out of such a small organ. This was 
 followed by shrill musical imitations of 
 a boatswain's whistle summoning the crew 
 on deck. 
 
 All this time the eyes of the king were 
 inflamed with spite and hungry jealousy, 
 and, on hearing this last triumphant per- 
 formance, he shook the bars of his cage 
 with such violence that the door burst 
 open, and he leaped to the floor with his 
 tail rigid in the air, and his white teeth
 
 ROBBERY AND MURDER OF MR. GREGO. 239 
 
 gleaming in the light from the window. 
 It did not take him another second to 
 spring on to Mr. Grego's cage, and try to 
 seize some of his nuts, but the bird repulsed 
 him with loud shrieks and vigorous bites. 
 The king retreated again to the floor, and 
 moving round under the table, he sprang 
 lightly at the door of the cage, which he 
 opened with the quickness and dexterity 
 of Spillett, whom he had often watched 
 when performing this operation, and seizing 
 the astonished Mr. Grego by one of his 
 claws, dragged him out, fluttering and 
 screaming to the floor. The parrot gave 
 him a fierce bite, and now commenced a 
 terrible duel ; for a good cock parrot, 
 though often timid with human beings, has 
 great courage when attacked by other birds 
 or animals, especially a monkey, his 
 hereditary foe. To see the surprising
 
 240 WH1TEPATCH. 
 
 vigour and vitality which even this old 
 bird now displayed, it was not difficult to 
 credit his race with the gigantic age so 
 often attributed to them. At first one 
 would have been disposed to back Mr. 
 Grego, as he had the greater natural 
 courage and the most direct mode of 
 attack, and the king quickly received some 
 severe bites on his face and arms ; but the 
 superior agility and ingenuity of the 
 monkey, and the power which his hands 
 gave him, soon began to tell in a fight on 
 the ground. Leaping in the air in all 
 directions to attack his enemy in the rear, 
 and using his hands more than his teeth, 
 he plucked one by one and in handfuls the 
 feathers from the parrot's body and tail, 
 until the unfortunate bird was a complete 
 wreck, showing large patches of white skin, 
 while the floor was strewn with feathers.
 
 ROBBERY AND MURDER OF MR. GREGO. 241 
 
 But Mr. Grego fought with desperation, 
 and the air was filled with deafening 
 shrieks and fierce jabberings. At length, 
 after receiving a tremendous bite, which 
 disabled one of its eyes, the monkey tore 
 out violently at one pull the remainder of 
 the bird's tail, which so completely dis- 
 comfited him that he turned and fled, 
 screaming and fluttering about the room. 
 Then began a murderous pursuit, the little 
 brute's wicked eye that was uninjured 
 gleaming like a serpent's, the room sound- 
 ing with diabolical chatterings and the 
 bird's piercing cries, amidst a scene of wild 
 confusion. Flower-pots were thrown to the 
 ground, the earth and fragments of pottery 
 scattered about, writing materials, books, 
 and drawings, sent flying in all directions ; 
 the inkstand was upset, and its con- 
 tents trickled out on to the floor ; flower 
 
 VOL. I. 16
 
 242 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 vases full of water were overturned to roll 
 smashing against the fender ; music, and a 
 small box of tools were dashed off the top 
 of the piano, an engraving of Mary's grand- 
 father — to which the bird had flown for 
 refuge — was torn down from its nail, to 
 fall crashing with its glass against a chair; 
 Mr. Grrego's cage, where he had twice 
 tried to find shelter, was overturned with 
 its stand ; the fire-irons were thrown down, 
 and some of the hot coals flung out 
 of the fire — for even there had the deadly 
 chase reached ; one side of the mantelpiece 
 was swept bare, and Mary's little clock 
 sent tingling into the fender — the monkey, 
 springing and leaping about the room and 
 its walls with such demoniacal fury and 
 intensity of purpose, and such rapidity, that 
 no eye could hardly have followed him, 
 making wild shots at his victim in his half-
 
 ROBBERY AND MURDER OF MR. GREGO. 243 
 
 blind condition, until at length the exhausted 
 bird, again trying to take refuge under the 
 grate, was seized and dragged out to be 
 executed. And when Mary and Spillett 
 returned from the stables, where they had 
 taken the goat for greater warmth, and 
 came on this extraordinary scene, poor, 
 much-prized, ever-cheerful Mr. Grego lay 
 dead on the hearthrug, without a feather 
 on his body, and with his neck as completely 
 wrung as if it had been done by the hands 
 of a charitable Christian. 
 
 But where was the murderous King of 
 Zanzibar ? He was found under a sofa in 
 the corner, grinning and jabbering, bleed- 
 ing and cracking nuts. 
 
 Mary was extremely angry for so gentle 
 a person, and scolded the king with such 
 righteous wrath that it argued well for 
 her honesty in this direction should she
 
 244 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 ever become a wife ; but when he wa 
 captured and she saw his bleeding and 
 wounded condition, and the loss of his eye, 
 her tenderness prevailed, and she was 
 against giving him any more punishment. 
 Spillett was of a different opinion, as she 
 had been very fond of Mr. G-rego, but had 
 no love for the monkey, who gave her 
 endless trouble, stealing her thimbles and 
 cotton, biting her on one of her ankles, and 
 generally taxing her to keep a vigilant e\ 
 upon his proceedings ; so she was deter- 
 mined he should have quite a new punish- 
 ment, and be shut up in the dark closet under 
 the stairs. After he had been bathed and 
 his wounds attended to, Mary reluctantly 
 consented, but only on glancing again at the 
 dead and outraged Mr. Grego, tears in her 
 eyes as she remembered when he was first 
 brought to her years ago by Harrison.
 
 ROBBERY AND MURDER OF MR. GREGO. 245 
 
 Now this " closet " was that large irregu- 
 lar one under the stairs to which the reader's 
 attention has been especially called. The 
 king, then, was shut up in this dark place, 
 Jenny taking care to remove the house- 
 maids' brooms, that he should not even 
 have the small excitement of tearing them 
 to pieces. 
 
 Mary then covered the remains of Mr. 
 Grego with a white handkerchief ; and the 
 two young women set to work to restore 
 order in the room and lament over this 
 tragic event. 
 
 At luncheon Mary could not help for 
 once giving her grandfather some of the 
 details of her menage. The Colonel was 
 indignant, and declared the little brute 
 must be sent away immediately — " there 
 was no saying what he might not do next ' 
 (no indeed!). Mary offered little immediate
 
 246 WHITEPATCU. 
 
 opposition, trusting this small storm would 
 blow over. When, however, she went to 
 visit the captive in the afternoon, he was 
 gone. Search was made everywhere, but 
 he was not to be found. Spillett suspected 
 Nancy of letting him out, as there was 
 a continual mop-and-broorn war between 
 these two young women over the imple- 
 ments kept in the closet, as the housemaids 
 cleaned the stairs and the little hall ; but 
 Nancy stoutly denied that she had been 
 near the place since the morning, and the 
 mystery remained unsolved. Mary was 
 plunged into the deepest sadness, thinking 
 everything she cared for in this world was 
 to be taken from her.
 
 ( 247 ) 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 THE COLONEL UPSETS HIS JUG OF SHAVING 
 WATER, AND THE DAINTY MRS. SPILLETT 
 COVERS HERSELF WITH DIRT AND COB- 
 WEBS. 
 
 " If you please, sir, the clock has stopped," 
 said John, coming into the Colonel's room 
 to open the shutters on the second morning 
 after this event. 
 
 The Colonel roused himself up and 
 opened his eyes very wide. " Stopped ! ' 
 he said. " What can have happened ? ' 
 
 Now, to his credit be it said, the sturdy 
 old Don Carlos had never been guilty of 
 stopping altogether of his own free will for
 
 248 WIIITKPATCH. 
 
 many a long year. He had gone backwards 
 and forwards, even to an hour and more, 
 according to arrangements between himself 
 and his ingenious patron, but stopped, 
 never ! 
 
 The Colonel overturned his jug of hot 
 water in shaving, and dressed in such haste 
 that he was leaving the room without his 
 necktie, until he caught sight of himself 
 in the glass. 
 
 " Stopped ! What could have happened ? " 
 
 He mounted to the tower, but could see 
 nothing wrong. The clock went on again 
 when he set it going, and having put it to 
 the right time, he came down and went into 
 the garden for his usual little turn before 
 breakfast, which this time was backwards 
 and forwards in sight of the tower. 
 
 " Yes, it went all right again — what 
 could it have been ? ' And when Don
 
 MRS. SPILLETT COVERED WITH DIRT. 249 
 
 Carlos struck nine with his old clanking 
 sound, he entered for morning prayers and 
 his usual excellent breakfast of bacon and 
 eggs — a dish, it may be mentioned, he 
 never varied from year's end to year's end. 
 In the afternoon Don Carlos stopped 
 again ; and again the Colonel mounted to 
 the tower, but still to find nothing wrong 
 with the clock, as he set it going once 
 more. He however observed that some one 
 had been meddling with the tin pot which 
 contained a supply of the new lubricator. 
 Now, there was a narrow opening at the 
 bottom of the tower, which led down by a 
 few steps and a covered way on to the 
 roof. This had no door, although the 
 Colonel had often thought it would have 
 been better for one ; but it had always been 
 so, and that was a sufficient reason with 
 him for letting it alone. " Who could
 
 250 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 have been meddling up there ? Some 
 one must have come in from the roof. 
 " Who could have presumed to take such 
 an unwarrantable liberty ? ' 
 
 He came down from the tower with an 
 angry face, but he decided to say nothing 
 for the present — never accusing any one 
 without strong ground — and went out to 
 the gardens to see and hear if any one had 
 been on the roof, as Miss Doddingstead 
 was quite capable of having " something 
 done' without saying a word to him on 
 the subject. Mary had heard that the 
 clock had stopped, but no one regarded 
 that as an altogether impossible event with 
 the same faith as the Colonel. 
 
 Don Carlos went perfectly well through 
 the night, until soon after luncheon the 
 next day, when the Colonel, going out into 
 the garden, found it had just stopped again.
 
 MBS. SPILLETT COVERED WITH DIRT. 251 
 
 He hurried up on to the roof, and was in 
 time to catch sight of the king with his 
 tail in the air vanishing round a chimney. 
 He descended at once in great wrath to 
 find Mary, the penultimate cause of this 
 sacrilege. But Mary, like other mortals, 
 had fallen back on a friend much neglected 
 of late, and had started early to give 
 Queen Elizabeth a much-needed gallop. 
 The Colonel at first decided to say nothing 
 until her return, leaving the clock as it 
 was, that the melancholy spectacle might 
 be presented in its full force ; but meeting 
 the rebellious face of Jenny Spillett in the 
 hall, he could not resist the temptation of 
 saying, " That brute of a monkey of yours 
 is up on the roof," and then passed on 
 without condescending to give any further 
 information. 
 
 Spillett rushed up to her mistress's rooms
 
 252 WIIITEPATCH. 
 
 to put down some things she had in her 
 hand, and was hastening back again 
 through the little hall to go and find 
 Jack the garden boy to send him on to 
 the roof, when she heard from the closet 
 the well-known sound of the king wanting 
 to be released, and in great astonishment 
 she opened the door and out leaped the 
 monkey. Having caught him and put 
 him into his house, she returned to the 
 little hall ; then, by a sudden inspiration, 
 she went back to her room, lit a candle, 
 and proceeded once more to the closet. 
 She first looked in with the candle, then 
 stepping over the high board at the foot 
 of the door, she entered the closet to 
 make a closer examination. She almost 
 immediately saw, in the left-hand corner 
 next to her, a small low door a little open. 
 The opening of the door, being close up
 
 MRS. SPILLETT COVERED WITH DIRT. 253 
 
 against the partition which divided the 
 closet from the outer hall, could not be 
 seen unless one entered or stretched very 
 far into the closet, as the partition took a 
 sweep backwards, following the curve of 
 the stairs outside. When this door was 
 properly closed, few would have suspected 
 it was there. When Spillett opened this 
 little door and saw that it led into a long 
 passage, she became breathless with ex- 
 citement. She first closed the door of the 
 closet opening from the hall, and then, 
 stooping down, courageously entered the 
 passage to see where it led to. It was 
 very narrow but high, and seemed to go 
 straight as far as the outer wall of the 
 house. There she came to some steep 
 narrow stairs, which turned sharp to the 
 left, and mounting these, she found herself 
 in another passage above, which appeared
 
 254 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 to be on a level with the ceiling of Mar; 
 rooms. This passage led directly back 
 again from the way she had come in the 
 passage below, but was of much greater 
 length. After she had gone some distance, 
 she came upon three little slits in the wall 
 to the left near the ground, by which day- 
 light entered. On stooping, she was sur- 
 prised to find herself looking down on the 
 east stairs and the drawing-room door, 
 and she could hear Harrison's voice in the 
 hall, and the banging of the swing-door. 
 This sudden contact with the outer world 
 gave her fresh courage to proceed. Near 
 the extremity of this passage, which seemed 
 to end in nothing, she came on another 
 short flight of stairs which turned to the 
 right, and led her up into another short 
 passage. She went down this to find, quite 
 at the end, in the wall on her left, the
 
 MKS. SPILLETT COVERED WITH DIRT. 255 
 
 framework of a door, the sill of which was 
 about six inches from the ground. The 
 door itself had fallen from its place, and 
 rested slantingly against the wall at the 
 end of the passage. Spillett then ex- 
 amined the opening of the doorway. The 
 other side seemed to be blocked up by some 
 woollen substance stretched across it, but 
 at the bottom, above the sill, was a narrow 
 opening through which daylight came. 
 She could pass in her arm, but could see 
 nothing beyond very distinctly. She then 
 examined more closely, and found that one 
 corner of the woollen stuff was loose, and, 
 pushing it inwards, she could see through 
 into a room. 
 
 She put down her candle, and tearing 
 the opening large enough to pass through, 
 found herself on a high narrow bed, which 
 had been placed with its head against
 
 256 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 the opening. The room was handsomely 
 wainscoted, and had a fireplace. It was 
 not very large, and had an attic roof; it 
 was only furnished with a square table 
 and a few chairs — one of them with a high 
 back and wooden arms — and an oak press 
 with a cupboard and drawers underneath. 
 It was lighted by one window, in which a 
 pane of glass was broken ; this window had 
 also shutters, but they were not closed. In 
 the thick dust on the floor she saw the 
 marks of the monkey's feet. She sprang 
 down, and proceeded to examine further. 
 There were three doors in the room, one 
 of which was open, and she passed through 
 and found a little chapel with an altar 
 undressed, and two pictures of saints, one 
 was on the wall, and the other had fallen 
 to the ground. This chapel was lighted 
 by a small window in the roof. Another
 
 MRS. SPILLETT COVERED WITH DIRT. 257 
 
 door opened into a small room which had 
 evidently been used for purposes of wash- 
 ing and dressing. A looking-glass, dotted 
 with dark spots, still hung against the side. 
 The third door opened on a handsome stair- 
 case which was quite dark, and here Spil- 
 lett's courage failed her, as she knew that 
 she was now in the priest's hiding-place 
 over the library, which she had often heard 
 described, and that this staircase led from 
 the concealed entrance in the library. The 
 entrance she had come in by was, then, the 
 secret escape known to tradition, but lost 
 to the present generation ; as the Colonel 
 never would have anything moved from its 
 place, nor curiosity satisfied by any rum- 
 maging of the house. By this means the 
 occupant of the room could pass down into 
 Mary's little garden, and escape into the 
 lane by the door that has been mentioned, 
 
 VOL. i. 17
 
 258 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 and so to the coast. Spillett was greatly 
 tempted to find her way down to the 
 library, but her fear of the ghost of the old 
 squire prevented her. She returned again 
 to the closet in the little hall, and, having 
 closed the small low door as carefully as 
 she could, she returned to her own room. 
 On looking at herself in the glass, she wj 
 horrified at her own picture. Her bright 
 fair hair looked as if it had been powdered 
 with cinders, her face was deadly pale, her 
 deep blue eyes shone with excitement like 
 sapphires in the sunlight, and her dainty 
 clothes were covered with dirt and cob- 
 webs. She changed her dress, and cleaned 
 herself as hastily as she could, and then sat 
 down on her bed to think of what she 
 should do about her discovery. At length, 
 for reasons of her own, she decided to keep 
 the matter to herself for the present.
 
 ( 259 ) 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 THE KING OF ZANZIBAR SAVES HIMSELF 
 FROM BANISHMENT BY TAKING ARSENIC. 
 
 What is it about a lady's riding-habit that 
 makes it look so much in place in an old- 
 fasbioned garden witbred brick walls covered 
 with patches of silver-grey lichen ? It must 
 be its simplicity. Mary having seen Queen 
 Elizabeth in her stable and taken off the 
 bridle herself, according to her wont since 
 the days of her first pony, had a friendly 
 little stable chat with her devoted admirer 
 and friend, Mr. Spillett, who would have 
 knocked any man down who said a word
 
 200 WHITE PATCH. 
 
 against her — this however, he was capable 
 of, on even smaller provocation, having 
 all the spirit and velocity of action of his 
 dare-devil race, albeit sobered by the 
 strait-jacket of wages and dependence. 
 After Mary had finished her chat, she 
 returned by the kitchen-garden to the 
 house. It was a pleasant picture she 
 presented — one that goes to the heart of 
 old and young — as, refreshed by her gallop, 
 she came lightly along by the old wall in 
 the rays of the October evening sun, with 
 her sweet face and natural air, holding the 
 skirt of her habit in one hand, and in the 
 other her whip and tan-coloured gloves, 
 which repeated the colour of her hair that 
 had broken somewhat out of bound in her 
 brisk ride. 
 
 Mary, feeling the pleasure of a little 
 walk after her ride, turned into the en-
 
 THE KING SAVED FROM BANISHMENT. 261 
 
 closed garden in front of the house, when 
 she encountered the Colonel. 
 
 " My dear," he said with an aggrieved 
 air, " that monkey of yours has been upon 
 the roof." 
 
 She was only too glad to hear he was 
 anywhere, as she feared he had been 
 secretly banished or killed to spare her 
 feelings. 
 
 " Look ! ' he said, glancing up at Don 
 Carlos with an expression of injury almost 
 as great as Monsieur de l'Orchestre's. 
 
 Mary looked, and saw nothing that 
 appeared to her very remarkable ; the 
 hands pointed to the hour of two, and it 
 was certainly now nearly four. But what 
 of that ? She turned her face to hide a smile. 
 
 " Don't you see it has stopped ? ' said 
 the Colonel. " That confounded little 
 brute has been meddling with it ! '
 
 262 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 " Oh, dear grandpapa, what has he 
 done ? " she said, getting alarmed at this 
 appalling intelligence. 
 
 " Done ! He has stopped it three times, 
 and I don't know yet if the mischief has 
 ended there." 
 
 " Grandpapa, I am sure you will soon 
 get it right again." 
 
 " I am not at all sure of that," he said ; 
 and, seized with this depressing idea, 
 he suddenly started off to visit the tower, 
 leaving Mary in the dark as to the present 
 fate of the king. She then ran into the 
 house to look for Spillett. 
 
 She found the monkey in his house 
 again, and notwithstanding his double 
 crimes of murder and malicious attempts 
 on valuable property, he was greeted with 
 rejoicing. 
 
 " But where did you find him, Spillett ? '
 
 THE KING SAVED FROM BANISHMENT. 263 
 
 " I caught him on the landing, Miss 
 Mary. He had been up on the roof and 
 come back again." 
 
 Mary's attention was too much taken up 
 at this moment by something else to press 
 the inquiry further, for on close inspection 
 she thought the king looked dreadfully 
 ill and changed. 
 
 " But there is something wrong with 
 him, Spillett; he looks as if he were 
 dying." 
 
 " Oh, he's only starved, ma'am. I have 
 given him something to eat." 
 
 " Yes, but he hasn't touched it," said 
 Mary ; and she took the monkey out of his 
 house, and placed him on her lap. " He 
 is as cold as ice, Spillett, and his face looks 
 as if he had been poisoned. He must have 
 eaten something. We must send for Mr. 
 Rogers," she said after a moment's reflection.
 
 264 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 Now, Mr. Rogers was the great vet of 
 the neighbourhood, a man with a grain of 
 real common sense in his head, who had dis- 
 covered the merits of simplicity, and who 
 was a great personage with the farmers and 
 hunting gentleman around — more looked 
 up to than any doctor, unless he came 
 down from London by an express train. 
 
 Mary wrapped up the king in one of her 
 own little woollen shawls, and placed him 
 on some pillows near the fire, where he lay 
 so still, it was quite alarming. She then 
 hastened down to find her grandfather. 
 She met him coming down from the tower 
 to get some tools — a look of urgency in his 
 face. 
 
 " I told you so, Mary — the clock is 
 injured ! " he called out as soon as he saw 
 her, and passed on. Mary followed him 
 into the hall.
 
 THE KING SAVED FROM BANISHMENT. 265 
 
 " But, grandpapa, we have caught the 
 king, and he is dreadfully ill, and I want 
 you to let me send for Mr. Rogers." 
 
 Was ever such a thing heard of ? a rival 
 invalid to start up at a moment like this ; 
 and the rival, " that little brute of a 
 monkey ! ' 
 
 " Send for Rogers for a monkey, my 
 dear ! you must be out of your mind. Give 
 him a good whipping and put him in the 
 coal cellar," and he passed into his room. 
 
 Mary knew it was of little use to persist 
 with her grandfather. But what was to 
 be done ? She then thought of what she 
 might have remembered at first — that she 
 had an excellent doctor close at hand in 
 Harrison, who had for years been an 
 ardent student of homoeopathy and medical 
 matters in general — gaining quite a small 
 reputation in the neighbourhood by setting
 
 266 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 old labourers on their legs with arnica 
 and bryonia — relieving the melancholy 
 effects of gluttony in the servants' hall 
 with nux vomica and pulsatilla, and 
 crowning all by one really brilliant per- 
 formance in restoring to health, with rhus, 
 a dog paralyzed in his hind-quarters, and 
 condemned to death by the great Mr. 
 Rogers himself. So she rushed off to her 
 room again and sent Spillett for Harrison, 
 who quickly arrived, only too delighted 
 to exercise his skill on anything. 
 
 Mary and Harrison had always been 
 great friends. He was her chief purveyor 
 of live stock, her chief defender against 
 invasions of her little domain, and would 
 never have her tastes and habits questioned 
 by any one. "If she had no other com- 
 panions, she must have these," he used to 
 say. He had even caught for her himself
 
 THE KING SAVED FROM BANISHMENT. 267 
 
 those much hated and persecuted little 
 animals, which haunt barns and old houses, 
 that she kept in a cage in the garden — she 
 wished to see if they could be tamed, and 
 if they were as black as they were painted. 
 Harrison carefully examined the monkey. 
 He thought at first he was only suffering 
 from exposure and starvation ; but other 
 symptoms which appeared when they 
 moved him, and the expression of his face, 
 led him to think he had got hold of some- 
 thing poisonous. He was much bedaubed 
 with some fattv matter, which Harrison 
 smelt and tasted, and on Mary mentioning 
 that he had been up in the clock-tower, 
 Harrison exclaimed, " That's it, Miss Mary ; 
 he has been eating the Colonel's new grease, 
 and there is arsenic in it, I'll bet anything. 
 I remember now, he asked me if I had got 
 any, and I posted a letter for him the same
 
 268 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 day to Purger and Sponge at Canterbury. 
 The Colonel's a magistrate, and can get 
 what he likes. That's it, Miss Mary," and 
 Harrison thought a moment. " Run 
 down, Mrs. Spillett, and get some honey 
 out of the apple-closet and a jug of boiling 
 water — quick ! ' He produced his little 
 case of medicines out of his pocket, and 
 selected a small bottle. When Spillett 
 returned, he beat up a little honey and hot 
 water together, putting in a few drops of 
 tincture, and forced some of it down the 
 king's throat, who was by this time too 
 seriously ill to offer much resistance. He 
 then made Spillett prepare a hot bath, 
 with mustard in it, and finally the un- 
 fortunate monkey was comfortably tucked 
 up in a large doll's cradle, with a doll's 
 nightcap on his head, and placed on the 
 hearthrug. Mary, in her habit, with her
 
 THE KING SAVED FROM BANISHMENT. 269 
 
 hat thrown off, and her hair, which had 
 fallen over her face, shining like dark gold 
 in the light of the fire, was on her knees, 
 gently with one hand rocking him to and 
 fro. Harrison had given directions about 
 the medicine before he left, and on running 
 up again before he served the dinner, he 
 pronounced his distinguished patient to be 
 somewhat better. 
 
 At dinner Mary and her grandfather 
 were absorbed in thinking of their separate 
 troubles. The clock would not go. "That 
 little brute' had twisted some of the 
 more delicate parts of the machinery, and 
 the Colonel, in fumbling at it by the light 
 of a lantern, had broken something else. 
 There would be silence that night over the 
 Manor-house. He was certain he could not 
 sleep, and the servants would be all late in 
 the morning. He was sure, also, he should
 
 270 WHITEPATCII. 
 
 have an early visit next day from that 
 "sly' old Rector; but he should leave 
 orders that he was not at home. At length, 
 when the servants were gone, the Colonel 
 broke silence. 
 
 " That monkey must go, Mary. I can't 
 have such a mischievous little brute on the 
 place any longer." 
 
 " But, grandpapa, we think he is going 
 to die. Harrison says he has been poisoned 
 with arsenic. Was there any arsenic in that 
 stuff you made over the fire ? ' 
 
 The Colonel looked guilty. 
 
 " What business has Harrison to give his 
 opinion ? " he exclaimed. But the little shot 
 had its due effect. His delicate conscience 
 did not like to feel that even a monkey 
 could be poisoned by his carelessness in 
 leaving poison about in an open place 
 that a workman or any one going on the
 
 THE KING SAVED FROM BANISHMENT. 271 
 
 roof might have got at ; and he remained 
 silent. 
 
 Mary saw her advantage. " Grandpapa," 
 she said, coming close to his side and taking 
 the crackers out of his hand to crack his 
 walnuts, " I am very sorry the king has 
 touched the clock, but if he should live and 
 you won't send him away this time, I will 
 have a chain made for him so that he can't 
 get loose again. " 
 
 Mary went on cracking with little con- 
 sideration for her grandfather's power of 
 digestion. 
 
 At last he said gently, " Those little 
 brutes, my dear, have as many lives as a cat. 
 I dare say he will recover ; " and she knew 
 the king was saved — at any rate from 
 banishment. 
 
 She said no more, and went into the 
 drawing-room with her aunt, who had not
 
 272 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 uttered a word during this little colloquy, 
 thinking the whole matter was " disgust- 
 ing," in which opinion she was supported 
 by Jenkins. 
 
 As soon as " Aunt Augusta ' was well 
 asleep, Mary stole upstairs to see how the 
 king was getting on. He had now become 
 excited, trying to tear off his nightcap, and 
 jabbering fiercely as if still fighting with 
 the parrot. Harrison was sent for again, 
 who gave him some aconite, and had him 
 moved further from the fire ; and Jenny 
 Spillett had the pleasure of sitting up, 
 alternatively with her mistress, to give him 
 his medicine, — though Mary slept little, 
 thinking of all her misfortunes, and missing 
 the voice of Don Carlos, to which she had 
 been so accustomed from a child. 
 
 The next morning Harrison paid a very 
 early visit to his patient, and pronounced
 
 THE KING SAVED FKOM BANISHMENT. 273 
 
 him out of immediate danger. Indeed, 
 there could be no doubt of this, as he was 
 sitting up in his cradle, cheerfully tearing 
 its lining to pieces, with which hopeful little 
 amusement Mary would not allow Spillett 
 to interfere. 
 
 When Mary came down to prayers, she 
 gave her grandfather such a sweet little 
 kiss, putting her two hands on his shoulders 
 and saying, " the king was much better," 
 that the old man declared in his heart 
 it was very hard to refuse anything to 
 such a little siren ; and as he mechanically 
 read aloud on his knees Bishop Lexicon's 
 prayer for the morning, he said inwardly 
 to himself, " The infernal little brute was a 
 nuisance, no doubt ; but he gave her some- 
 thing else to think about besides that damned 
 fellow who had got hold of her, and it was 
 better it should remain for the present." 
 
 VOL. i. 18
 
 274 WH1TEPATCH. 
 
 CHAPTER XY. 
 
 SILENCE REIGNS IN THE WOODEN TOWER, 
 AND THE TERRIBLE SPIRIT OF THE OLD 
 DAIRY AGAIN APPEARS. 
 
 For a whole week the injured Don Can 
 refused to stir. The Rector was so unwell 
 that he had to request the Colonel to 
 honour him with a visit at the Rectory, to 
 transact their usual business, as the Colonel 
 gave a ready and liberal hand to all that 
 went on in the parish. Twice during this 
 time did the Colonel pay a visit to 
 Canterbury, carrying with him a large 
 leather bag supposed to contain legal 
 documents, as his solicitor lived in that
 
 SILENCE REIGNS IN THE TOWER. 275 
 
 venerable and peaceful old city. They 
 must, however, have been of an unusually 
 solid and time-defying substance, judging 
 by the look of the bag outside ; but, as 
 we are aware the enthusiastic old Colonel 
 heartily despised all modern clocks and 
 clockmakers, we must not jump to the 
 conclusion on that account that the bag 
 contained anything of this nature. At 
 length the Colonel sat down to luncheon 
 with such a suppressed look of triumph 
 and satisfaction, that Mary knew things 
 were at last going well aloft ; and as they 
 rose from the table she heard in the 
 distance Don Carlos striking two, though 
 it was more than five minutes past that 
 hour by her own watch. 
 
 But this silence in the wooden tower 
 had not been without signification. Solo- 
 mon had reversed the order of history,
 
 276 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 and had come to visit the Queen of 
 Sheba, and the spirit of the murdered 
 naval captain of the " undiscovered sub- 
 terranean passage ' had appeared to Mrs. 
 Walker. 
 
 The King of Zanzibar, still attended by 
 his doctor and his two nurses, was estab- 
 lished in Mary's bedroom on account of its 
 greater warmth, as he had developed an 
 ill-sounding cough, and Harrison feared 
 congestion of the luu^s ; and verv interest- 
 ing — and comical also, to profane eyes — he 
 looked in his little fur coat which Mary 
 made for him from one of her own, and 
 which he amused himself by pulling to 
 pieces. 
 
 About the middle of this week Harrison 
 appeared at Mary's door with a beautiful 
 new parrot, which his friends at Deal had 
 found for him at Hastings. Mary was
 
 SILENCE KEJGNS IN THE TOWER. 277 
 
 greatly pleased at this devotion, and even 
 with the bird ; but she felt he could never 
 be the same as the mourned and long- 
 loved Mr. Grego, and it was not without a 
 certain pain she saw him put into the old 
 cage, and established on the familiar perch. 
 She endeavoured to hide her feelings from 
 Harrison, who had now that look of kind- 
 ness in his face, as he gave the history of 
 the bird, which mostly underlies all real 
 excellence of whatever kind. She could 
 at first see little difference in this bird 
 from the old one, but she soon found he 
 had not such a beautiful tail, nor such 
 a look of quiet dignity, though he was 
 more solemn and did not seem so shy with 
 strangers. 
 
 " What is he called, Harrison ? ' she 
 asked. 
 
 Harrison hesitated a moment. Then he
 
 278 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 smiled, and said, " They say he's called 
 Solomon, Miss Mary ' (he would never 
 call her ma'am , "but you can change that, 
 miss." 
 
 "Oh, delightful!" she said. "I shall 
 certainly not change it, and the Queen of 
 Sheba shall come up and pay him a visit 
 directly." 
 
 Harrison, after looking at the king, 
 departed, and as he went out, closing the 
 door with a slight bang after him, Solomon 
 spoke. " Go away, you old fool ! ' he 
 screamed out in a sharp vixenish voice, 
 and Mary laughed and thought she might 
 get to like him after all. 
 
 " Never was there such an old ram- 
 shackle of a place as the offices at the 
 Manor," declared Mrs. Walker, who was a 
 dragon for cleaning and routing things out 
 that had not been disturbed for ages.
 
 SILENCE EEIGNS IN THE TOWER. 279 
 
 There was a bad smell down at the 
 bottom of the passage near the farmers' 
 room that she was determined to get to 
 the bottom of. Spillett declared it came out 
 of the old dairy. Harrison had got another 
 key that would open it, if she liked to see. 
 
 Mrs. Walker, up to this time, had more 
 enmity to bad smells than fear of ghosts ; 
 so, after tea on the last evening of this 
 eventful week, Spillett gave her the key 
 and she set off, candle in hand, to survey 
 this place in her domains from which she 
 had been excluded. After some difficulty 
 she turned the lock and entered. The old 
 dairy was a large place, the same size as 
 the entrance hall above, and part of the 
 original building. It had a stone floor, a 
 stone table in the middle, and wide stone 
 slabs running round the greater part of it 
 for the milk-pans ; but against the wall,
 
 280 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 facing the door, was a heavy wooden 
 dresser which went nearly up to the 
 ceiling, and was placed on four high Dutch 
 iron castors, such as are still to be seen in 
 old Dutch farmhouses. There was a very 
 bad smell in the dairy no doubt, and Mrs. 
 Walker was enchanted. Her keen nose 
 soon traced it to something under the 
 dresser — " dead rats, no doubt." She 
 looked underneath as well as she could, 
 but could see nothing, excepting that the 
 floor was very wet. Then she seized the 
 dresser, and tried to roll it out on its 
 castors, but it would not move an inch. 
 Getting impatient, she put the light down 
 on the table, and seizing the dresser again 
 with both hands, she gave it a savage pull, 
 with the full force of her great weight. 
 There was a loud snap, and the dresser 
 rolled out so easily she nearly fell back-
 
 SILENCE REIGNS IN THE TOWER. 281 
 
 wards. On looking behind it she found 
 two things she hardly expected — a drain 
 oozing up in the corner, and in the wall a 
 strong low door, that was a little open. 
 Her savage delight at unearthing her 
 enemy, which was, " only exactly what 
 she expected," at first turned her attention 
 from the door ; then her curiosity was 
 roused, and she suddenly remembered 
 Spillett's account of the subterranean 
 passage and its terrible occupant. 
 Nothing daunted, she pushed the door, 
 which moved with difficulty on its hinges, 
 and found herself in a passage which led 
 downwards. She then boldly set out to 
 explore. 
 
 But we must return a moment upstairs. 
 Soon after Mrs. Walker had gone from the 
 housekeeper's room, Harrison came to look 
 for her ; and finding Spillett there, she told
 
 282 WH1TEPATCH. 
 
 him where she was gone. Harrison was 
 very wroth at his key having been taken 
 without his leave, and set off at once, 
 candle in hand, to see " what that officious 
 
 old was meddling with down there." 
 
 On arriving at the dairy he very quickly 
 divined what had happened, and went 
 through the inner door to look for Mrs. 
 Walker and see for himself what she 
 had discovered. He soon heard heavy 
 breathing ; and a few yards down the 
 passage he found Mrs. Walker, insensible, 
 and lying with her face on the ground. 
 He put down his light and tried to lift her, 
 but she was rigid, and cold as ice. He 
 then dragged her with all his force as far 
 as the entrance to the dairy, and ran up- 
 stairs for assistance. In a short time he 
 returned with the two footmen and Spillett, 
 and between them they struggled up with
 
 SILENCE REIGNS IN THE TOWER. 283 
 
 the ponderous woman, and at last got her 
 on to the sofa in the housekeeper's room. 
 
 She was still cold and insensible, but 
 breathing heavily, her face dark and 
 strange. Harrison thought she had been 
 choked with foul air, and although his 
 own candle had not gone out, yet, as he 
 found her with her face towards the door, 
 she had probably been running back again 
 when she fell. The windows were opened, 
 and Spillett undid her stays, which were 
 very much as if they were made of sheet- 
 iron and sail-cloth ; and that lively young 
 person to this day never ceases to give a de- 
 scription of the Yorkshire stays, " where all 
 the clothes were made that people wore ! ' 
 Her own even at this time came from Paris. 
 
 Harrison would not give her anything. 
 He said as long as she breathed she would 
 come to ; and in course of time she was
 
 284 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 able to sit up on the sofa, with a very scared 
 and bloodless face and breathing with 
 difficulty. Spillett was anxious to know 
 if she had seen anything ? 
 
 " Oh yes ; it was horrible ! She didn't 
 like to think of it ! " 
 
 Harrison now gave her a stiff glass of 
 brandy and water, and her tongue soon 
 became loosened. 
 
 " It came towards her all on fire — a 
 great tall man, with blood streaming down 
 his face, One of his eyes was gone, and 
 there was only a deep red hole, and the 
 other eye was like an electric that glared 
 at you with a murderous look ; and he had 
 a great long sword which he held out from 
 him slanting-ways, and fire streamed from 
 it down to the ground. And she turned as 
 cold and as stiff as a stone gate-post, and 
 couldn't move to save her own mortal soul ;
 
 SILENCE REIGNS IN THE TOWER. 285 
 
 and he came and stood stark up quite close 
 to her, so that she could have touched him, 
 and then she didn't know what happened 
 after that." 
 
 Harrison was just going to laugh the 
 matter off, and declare it was only the 
 had air — but a glance from Spillett stopped 
 him, and as dinner-time was approaching, 
 he ran off to lock up the dairy again, 
 deciding to leave a further investigation of 
 the passage until the next day. 
 
 Mrs. Walker still felt " so bad " that she 
 declared she must go to bed. Having 
 performed that operation, she lamented in 
 comfort her never-ending misfortunes. Here 
 she had been so comfortable ; and though 
 the " under ones" had given her the usual 
 trouble that was to be always counted on 
 in inferiors who knew more than their 
 betters, yet the housekeeper's room was as
 
 286 WHITE PATCH. 
 
 nice and polite as real ladies and gentle- 
 men, and she hadn't much to complain of 
 there, except that they was obstinate in 
 their own ways. But she couldn't stay 
 and be frighted to death in a place that 
 was worse than living in a madhouse. Was 
 ever such ill-luck to have to go tramping 
 again ! She was sick to dying of gentlemen's 
 
 service. " Oh ! if only Walker now ! ' 
 
 Walker was a splendid old sea-dog, much 
 respected by every one, who commanded 
 the brig Charlotte Maria, of Whitby, to the 
 great satisfaction of her owners ; but he 
 never could command " that darned old 
 missus of his " and had refused to live with 
 
 her for years. "If only Walker now ! 
 
 She was sure the character of her blood 
 was altered." And this invincible old 
 bully (though zealous and willing ever to 
 do her duty to her employers) cried her-
 
 SILENCE REIGNS IN THE TOWER. 287 
 
 self to sleep like a child, thinking the 
 whole world was wrong but herself. 
 
 After breakfast the next morning, 
 Harrison decided it would be safer to tell 
 the Colonel at once of what had been dis- 
 covered ; but he was deep in his last 
 operations on the clock, and, though much 
 interested, he settled he would go with 
 Harrison into the old dairy after luncheon, 
 and they would decide if it was safe to 
 enter the passage. 
 
 In the forenoon, Mary was in distress 
 again about the king. He seemed to have 
 a relapse, and be in a very prostrate and 
 sinking condition. Harrison went up to 
 give him lachesis — having found this 
 serpent's poison of particular value to 
 animals in a like state — and during his 
 visit, he told his young mistress of the 
 discovery that had been made the night
 
 288 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 before. But Spillett had been beforehand 
 with him. Mary had not known, however, 
 of the intended exploration, and she was 
 now anxious to join the party. Harrison 
 thought it only right that the future heiress 
 should be present on such an important 
 occasion, and he promised " to stick up for 
 her to the Colonel." 
 
 After the servants' dinner, he came to 
 fetch his master. 
 
 " Don't you think, sir, Miss Mary ought 
 to be present ? " he said. 
 
 " Oh dear no ; " said the Colonel ; " quite 
 unnecessary. And we don't know if it is 
 safe yet." 
 
 " But it will be something for her to 
 remember all her life, sir, and " 
 
 jjXt this moment the Kector arrived. 
 Having heard Don Carlos strike, he 
 thought it would be safe to pay a visit.
 
 SILENCE REIGNS IN THE TOWER. 289 
 
 " Ah ! you have come exactly at the 
 right moment ! " cried the Colonel ; and he 
 related to him " the capital discovery that 
 had been made." 
 
 The Rector consented to join the party. 
 He thought if the lights burnt properly 
 there would be no danger. 
 
 Miss Mary also appeared upon the scene. 
 " Do let me come too, grandpapa ! " she said. 
 
 " Nonsense, my dear ; it is not safe." 
 
 " But if it is not safe for me, grandpapa, 
 it is not safe for you, and I shan't let you 
 go," she said playfully. 
 
 " Well, well, well ! you may come and 
 have a peep behind, but you must not come 
 too near, mind." And the party set off 
 for the dairy. 
 
 Harrison, the night before, had opened 
 
 the dairy window, which was a long one, 
 
 high up in the wall, with an iron grating 
 vol. i. 19
 
 290 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 outside level with the ground. He had 
 also left the door into the underground 
 passage open, thinking the bad air, if 
 there was any, might escape in the night. 
 
 They entered the dairy with great 
 caution ; but the air seemed quite fresh 
 and the candles burnt brightly. They 
 then proceeded to the passage, advancing 
 slowly at first ; but the air seemed equally 
 good there, and the Rector was of opinion 
 that there was no danger at that end. They 
 went down the passage, and soon entered a 
 long cavern in the chalk rock, which was 
 one of the chalk holes mentioned, and 
 common enough in this part of the county. 
 The air still seemed good, and the rheumatic 
 Rector found there was even a draught, 
 and hence little danger, he thought, so they 
 advanced boldly. After they had gone 
 some distance, they came on the right to
 
 SILENCE KEIGNS IN THE TOWEK. 291 
 
 what looked like an old opening that had 
 been blocked up. 
 
 The Rector considered a moment. " I 
 know where that goes to," he said ; " into 
 Ruins Barn. There is an old opening 
 there into a chalk hole that has been 
 blocked up ever since I have known it, 
 and this is where the smugglers used to 
 bring in the kegs." 
 
 A little further on, they came to a place 
 that had the appearance of having been used 
 as a living-room. Regular seats were cut 
 out in the dry chalk, and over these, other 
 places were formed that might have been 
 used as beds. The roof also was darker in 
 colour, and looked as if it had at one time 
 been blackened by smoke. Mary whispered 
 to her grandfather, " she would not have 
 missed it for the world ; " and the old man 
 was glad she should take so much interest 
 in anything.
 
 292 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 They then proceeded some way further, 
 and came to a narrow passage that mounted 
 upwards again. This brought them face 
 to face with a stone wall, in which there 
 was no apparent aperture ; but on examin- 
 ation they found one that had been built 
 in. The Rector at once decided they were 
 against the wall of the church, as it was 
 made of the same stone as that building, 
 and so greatly at one time had smuggling 
 been carried on in this particular parish, 
 that even the church had been used. He 
 recalled to the Colonel's recollection that, 
 in their own building, there was still 
 a " hide ' in the roof. The party then 
 decided they would return and go to the 
 church, to see if they could find where 
 the entrance had been on the other side. 
 Harrison was to remain and knock against 
 the wall. So off they set, the two old
 
 SILENCE REIGNS IN THE TOWER. 293 
 
 gentlemen as gleeful as a couple of school- 
 boys over this most exciting adventure. 
 Mary scampered upstairs as soon as she 
 reached the hall, to get her hat, and, call- 
 ing out to her Aunt Augusta to come at 
 once to the church, she overtook the others 
 as the Rector was coming back with the 
 key. They soon heard knocking, and to 
 their great surprise found it came from 
 behind the large monument in the chancel 
 to John Doddingstead and Joanna his 
 second wife. This was a very elaborate 
 affair, with two figures kneeling, of which 
 one was the grandfather of the maiden on 
 the stairs, and the other the woman who 
 had treated her with such harshness ; but 
 she had such a pious and sweet expression, 
 as she knelt with her hands joined together 
 that tradition must have surely belied her, 
 especially as she had shown such devotion
 
 294 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 to the memory of her husband in putting up 
 this monument at her own expense during 
 her lifetime. 
 
 Now the Rector knew much more about 
 the real history of the Doddingstead family 
 than the Colonel did himself. He knew that 
 this monument was long antecedent to the 
 great smuggling period when they had got 
 into trouble, like many other neighbours, 
 at which time he did not doubt the passage 
 had been blocked up — probably immediately 
 after Captain Yan Goyen had been killed 
 in the lane outside. As his body was never 
 found, he was said by tradition to be buried 
 in this chalk hole with a chest of silver 
 money. The whole matter had been passed 
 over in guarded silence by succeeding 
 generations. The Colonel would never 
 allow that the Doddingsteads had been 
 mixed up with the smuggling ; but that
 
 SILENCE REIGNS IN THE TOWER. 295 
 
 was not the opinion of the neighbourhood, 
 which affirmed that they had been one of 
 the worst of all in boldly defrauding the 
 Government, and that the old dairy had 
 been often filled with something that had 
 a very different character from milk. But 
 probably the Colonel knew best, " neigh- 
 bourhoods " are noted liars. The knocking 
 still came directly behind the monument, 
 and they answered back with the Rector's 
 walking-stick. But how could the passage 
 have been through the monument, even 
 though the floor of the chancel was much 
 below the level of the outside ? 
 
 They examined in every direction, but 
 there was no sign of an opening. All three 
 then mounted on a long form, to see better. 
 A high piece of elaborate carving rose up 
 behind the figures against the wall, and 
 the Rector was energetically seized with
 
 296 WHITEPATCH. 
 
 the idea to mount up and examine this 
 more closely. With a great tug to help 
 up his rheumatic limbs he caught hold of 
 a part of the monument in front of the 
 kneeling dame, which immediately moved 
 out towards him. The Rector and the 
 Colonel were then able to turn outwards 
 the entire figure of Joanna (which moved 
 on a pivot at her feet) and a part of the 
 ornamental work behind attached to the 
 pediment, which latter was cut diagonally 
 across from the front to the back, the join 
 concealed by ornamentation. They could 
 now see the other side of the low entrance 
 which had been blocked up. 
 
 " That is no smuggler's work," said the 
 Rector. " It must have been done by the 
 Roman Catholics when Whitepatch was 
 turned into a hiding-place for them, and 
 they must have used the church even after
 
 SILENCE REIGNS IN THE TOWER. 297 
 
 the Reformation, as the people in the 
 parish still believe the ghosts at the Manor 
 hold midnight meetings here with the 
 church all lighted up." 
 
 " Only think of my sitting and looking 
 at that for more than half the Sundays of 
 my life," said the Colonel, " and not 
 knowing what was there ! " 
 
 Miss Doddingstead now arrived. She 
 had first decided she would not come, and 
 then with an instinctive feeling that there 
 was something " sly ' going on in the 
 house, Jenkins had persuaded her to " go 
 and see ; ' and when the matter was 
 shown and explained to her by the old 
 Rector, who was radiant with delight, she 
 only remarked that " Dame Joanna looked 
 very ugly when she was turned that way." 
 
 END OF VOL. I.
 
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 UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS-URBANA 
 
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 Whltapatch. A romance for quiet people 
 
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