m:
 
 L I E> R.AFLY 
 
 OF THE 
 
 UNIVLRSITY 
 
 or ILLINOIS 
 
 823 
 C47/2
 
 l<h^ Y7
 
 CHUMS
 
 CHUMS 
 
 |i ^clIz of t^£ Qnmxs gaiig. 
 
 IX THREE VOLUMES. 
 VOL. I. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 TINSLEY BROTHERS, 8, CATHERINE STREET, STRAND. 
 
 1882. 
 
 [All Bights Beserved.]
 
 Printed by Kelly & Co., London & Kingston.
 
 8t^ 
 
 CHUMS: 
 
 A TALE OF THE QUEEN'S NAVY. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 ,N<1t_0/C 
 
 ]H0 does not know Gibraltar ? Dear 
 
 Slfli^i^ old Gib ! Who does not know tlie 
 
 key to the Mediterranean ? Who- 
 
 has not rounded Tarifa Point, and been 
 
 gladdened with a sight of the brave old 
 
 rock, the ancient Calpe, which, with Abyla 
 
 on the African shore, formed the " Pillars 
 
 .y of Hercules ? " the grand old rock, which 
 
 has resisted all the efforts of France and 
 
 '^ Spain to regain possession of it, since our 
 
 S gallant countrymen, assisted by the Dutch, 
 
 Q took it by surprise in 1704. 
 
 '^^ Who does not know the Bay into which 
 
 ^he British Fleet sailed, the Nejyhme towing 
 
 4the Victory, the latter still flyino^ Kelson's 
 
 ^ VOL. I. B
 
 CI turns : 
 
 flag, but at lialf-mast, and dropped anchor 
 after the battle of Trafalgar? sailed, with 
 colours half-mast high, and with drooping 
 hearts on every deck, for the leading spirit 
 had gone aloft, the " leading hand " had 
 struck his last, for "England, Home, and 
 Beauty ; " and though his body, pierced 
 by a bullet from the Eedoutable, was 'even 
 then under hatches, still in his old ship, 
 leading — as it ever had — his gallant fleet, 
 the soul of the sailor hero, the glorious 
 Nelson, had answered the pipe of " all hands." 
 Who does not know the toil of clamber- 
 ing up to the signal station, which stands 
 1,300 and something feet above the sea? 
 and who has not felt the keenest sense of 
 enjoyment as he reaps, or, rather, drinks, 
 his reward in the shape of a pint pewter 
 of draught ale, fresh, clear, and bright 
 as the surrounding atmosphere ? The 
 thought of that foaming beaker almost 
 persuadeth me to become poetical, and 
 certainly conduceth unto thirst.
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 
 
 But to proceed. A good many people 
 know nothing of these things, and, what 
 is more, prefer knowing nothing. 
 
 The high-minded, patriotic EngUshman, 
 whose one idea is " Money, How to Make 
 It," who will tell you that it is shameful 
 to us, as a nation, that we remain there, 
 a perpetual eyesore to the noble Spaniard, 
 and who will advocate its immediate resto- 
 ration for a pecuniary consideration ; he, 
 I say, this lofty-souled, generous, money- 
 grubbing humbug, cares nothing for our 
 key, except inasmuch as there may be a 
 chance of turning it into a o-olden one. 
 
 o & 
 
 The Governor of Algesiras — a small 
 Spanish town on the opposite shore of 
 the bay — still has attached to his commis- 
 sion "Governor of Algesiras and Gibraltar, 
 now in temporanj possession of the Eng- 
 lish." The italics are mine. What a subtle 
 joker the noble Spaniard must be. 
 
 The rollicking teetotaller, the festive 
 good templar, imbibers of ginger ale and 
 
 b2
 
 Chums : 
 
 raspberry vinegar, what do they know of 
 the good draught ale ? Nothing, poor 
 devils, although it is possible that they 
 may have known too much, which would 
 account for the milk in the cocoanut, or 
 the raspberry in the vinegar. 
 
 The j)retty schoolgirl, fond of novels, 
 fond of dancing ; above all, fond of admira- 
 tion, and whose greatest trial at present is 
 the absolute necessity of keeping her hair- 
 pins stuck in and her hair straight. Watcli 
 her as she and her twenty young lady com- 
 panions sit in their pews in church, anxiously 
 awaiting the moment, and more anxiously 
 striving to appear unconscious when the 
 moment arrives, for the entrance of the 
 twenty young gentlemen who are enjoying 
 all the comforts of a good home, rural 
 sports, and an exceptionally good educa- 
 tion, exactly opposite the detached villa 
 in which the aforementioned young ladies 
 are receiving a "finish," and being initiated 
 into all the mysteries of grace, elegance,
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 
 
 and deportment. Wliat does she know of 
 either the brave old rock or the good 
 draught ale? NotJiinrj, sweet angel! neither 
 does she care. 
 
 The old woman just able to read her big 
 Bible, and darn " her old man's socks." 
 The old man able to do neither, and only 
 awaiting the time when he can fill his pipe 
 and raise his glass no longer. What do 
 they care for the brave old rock ? Nothing, 
 poor old fossils ! 
 
 And what do you care, gentle reader, 
 neither poor devil nor old fossil, what do 
 you care ? Kot much, I fancy, so we will 
 smother our feelings, and just mentioning 
 that Gibraltar is Scene I., we ring the 
 second bell and draw up the curtain. 
 
 Away, then, away from the Signal Station 
 and beer, away from Church Street and the 
 reading-room, Sacconi and the ice shop, 
 and Camisuli's, the Moorish curiosity shop, 
 where pretty Carmen disposes of fans, Moor- 
 ish slippers and trays, at gj^eat loss — j)Gi'li^ps
 
 Chums : 
 
 of a kiss — to a good customer ; and what 
 matters it if she shrugs her pretty bare 
 shoulders in contempt at "Ze Inglaise" 
 directly your back is turned ? 
 
 Away from the wily Eock Scorpion 
 (native of Gibraltar) to that fertile spot, 
 " the neutral ground," which lies between 
 the Enghsh and Spanish "lines," and where 
 sand, stubble, and straw, take the place of 
 mother earth and grass. 
 
 Here's a go-car, jump in with me ! Drive 
 through the gates and get out at the cricket 
 ground, which is situated in the sandy 
 region of English and Spanish neutrality. 
 
 Here we have it — a burning sun! no 
 shade ! and a party of British officers, 
 naval and military, hard at a match ; for is 
 not the Channel Fleet at anchor in the Bay, 
 and must not John Bull's national game be 
 played everywhere ? 
 
 " I'm blowed if we shan't Avin yet," said 
 the smallest member of a group of three, 
 two of whom were enjoying cigarettes and
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 
 
 a " split peg." The tliird member, the 
 speaker, was a boy of about sixteen, with 
 a remarkably shrill voice, and a face, 
 every feature of which at present denoted 
 unlimited cheek. He rejoiced in the nick- 
 name of " The Xipper," but Avas born an 
 Ormby and christened Eichard. 
 
 " There seems ever}^ probability of your 
 experiencing the sensation of being blowed, 
 then," grumbled Cecil Monkton, " though 
 how the operation is to be performed, and 
 with what result to your small carcass, 
 I fail to comprehend ; there's only ten 
 minutes left before we 'draw,' and as our 
 fellows don't seem likely to make thirty 
 runs in that time, the match will be 
 decided by the first innings, and the 
 soldiers will win." 
 
 "BloAV the soldiers," returned Mr. Mid- 
 shipman Ormby, " though how the opera- 
 tion is to be performed, and with what 
 result to their bloated carcases, I fail to 
 comprehend."
 
 8 Chums : 
 
 " If I get up, my young friend, I'll 
 have your blood, and teach you not to 
 chaff your senior officer," said Cecil, 
 lazily throwing his legs over the long 
 arms of his American cane chair. 
 
 "You look awfully like getting up, 
 
 don't you, you long-legged Oh ! I say, 
 
 sir, I'm awfully sorry," he broke off, as 
 Cecil slung a pad at him, which he dodged, 
 and allowed to proceed straight into the 
 face of the third member of the group, 
 who, except when he occasionally took a 
 pull at his B. and S., had been absorbed 
 in meditation. The pad, however, effec- 
 tually aroused him. He shook himself, 
 and said plaintively — 
 
 " It 'th very annoying. I wath just 
 arranging a little poem to thend that 
 little Carmen at the curiothity shop. It 
 runth like thith — 
 
 Farewell, thweet maid, where'er I roam, 
 
 I'll often think of you: 
 On land, at thea, abroad, at home, 
 
 When there'th nothing else to do.
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 
 
 "When me no other thoughts engi-oth, 
 
 Oh, pray remember thith, 
 I feel, I do, 111 take my oath, 
 
 That last thweet thmacking " 
 
 "Thlap in the face," broke in the irre- 
 pressible yonngster, bnt not with quite 
 his usual amount of shrillness, for the 
 Honourable Francis Daintree was fiag- 
 lieutenant to Admiral Sir Eobert Swifter, 
 and Dicky did not know him well enough 
 to feel safe in giving such open chaff as 
 fell to the lot of his lazy friend, Lieu- 
 tenant Cecil Monkton. 
 
 '• By Jove, there goes the Slug's wicket," 
 continued Dicky. " Five minutes more and 
 17 more runs to make. Well, Slug ! " as a 
 heavy looking midshipman walked disconso- 
 lately in, " if you weren't such a long, un- 
 gainly, uncouth monster, Fd kick you ! Why 
 did you run away from the ball ? What were 
 you afraid of? Eh?" 
 
 " Now, look here, Ormby," the disconso- 
 late " Slug " made answer, " I don't feel 
 inclined for chaff, and what's more I won't
 
 1 Chums : 
 
 have it. I'd like to see you trying to kick 
 me ! " 
 
 '' Tho thould I ! " lisped the flag heuten- 
 ant ; " give him a sheet of paper, and let's 
 see how high he can reach ! " 
 
 " Hurrah ! I've drawn the Slug ! He's got 
 his shh't out ! " screamed Dicky. 
 
 " Now, Mpper ; order ! no gun-room 
 slang ! no unladylike language. You'll 
 force me to get up," came slowly from the 
 depths of the long arm chair. 
 
 "I fancy not^ Cecil! My strength's lim- 
 ited, and a patent hydraulic lift would have 
 its work cut out before your white flannels 
 and the chair's cane separated. In fact I 
 think," he continued, gravely, " that if you 
 move at all it will be in a downward di- 
 rection, and you will meet with the fate of 
 the old Avoman mentioned in that ancient 
 poem ' The three Bears,' who sat on the 
 wee little bear's chair with the following 
 dreadful result : 
 
 The l)ottom of the chair came out 
 And she came on the floor.
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 1 1 
 
 " Pay attencion to the match, 3^oung'un, " 
 said Monkton, " or you will get another 
 pad at your head." 
 
 " I don't think Mr. Daintree would quite 
 like that. He still feels that last, ' thweet 
 thmacking kith'." 
 
 A ringing cheer and cries of "Well hit, 
 Spencer ! Eun it out ! " proclaims that the 
 match is not over, the navy not beaten yet ; 
 and the ball comes bounding towards the 
 luncheon tent, bowling over little Ormby 
 — who, knife in hand, was stealthily exe- 
 cuting a flank movement on the unconscious 
 " Slug " — and then cannoning off into the 
 lap of the luckless Daintree. 
 
 "You young beggar, you're always in 
 the way," growled out several irate naval 
 men, as the unabashed " Nipper " struggled 
 to his feet. 
 
 " So am I, it seemth," said poor Daintree. 
 " I wath just thinking of that cruel poem 
 I received from that little girl at the 
 tobacconist's in Plymouth, before we
 
 ]2 Ch 
 
 lums : 
 
 started last time. It ninth like thith, 
 Monk ton: 
 
 Go, Francis ^o. 
 
 Too well I know 
 
 You are a gay deceiver. 
 
 You say you're too 
 
 Most awf'lly spoo- 
 
 Ney on a girl ;— then, leave her I 
 
 ]^ut since at sea, 
 
 So soon you'll be ; 
 
 To cheer your lonely evenings 
 
 I may remark 
 
 That, after dark, 
 
 I ' comp'ny keep ' with Stevings ! 
 
 "Stevings — his proper name was Stevens, 
 but the little puss wasn't much at gram- 
 mar — was the butcher next door, and 
 was a loathsome object." Having said 
 which, Daintree gave a melancholy smile, 
 and ordered another split for Monkton 
 and himself. 
 
 Two minutes more, and six runs to get ! 
 Spencer is out ! caught very cleverly by 
 JSTewton, a Sapper. Captain Le Hunte., 
 E.N., of the Thunderbomb, and the 
 Colonel of the 150th, stroll up to the 
 scoring tent. 
 
 " Well, my boy, which is to be the
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 13 
 
 winner, - Fleet or Garrison ? " said Le 
 Hiinte, stopping before the Xipper. 
 
 " Don't know at all, sir. All ! There 
 we are, time's up. Four runs to get 
 and two more wickets to go down, and 
 yet it has to be decided by the first 
 innings, and tliey win." 
 
 " Xever mind, youngster, better luck 
 next time," laughed the captain. '• Fm 
 afraid. Colonel, we naval men don't shine 
 at cricket. Don't get sufficient practice. 
 How can a man keep up his batting off 
 the West Coast of Africa, in the Persian 
 Gulf, or in a Flying Squadron which is 
 only in harbour for a few days at a 
 time, and if he gets a game at all it's 
 generally a big match with no chance of 
 getting into good form beforehand ! You 
 dine with the Admiral to-night, do you 
 not ; so we shall meet again." And the 
 skipper of the Timnderhomb walked over 
 to Daintree, with wdiom he had agreed to 
 drive to the Fagged Staff landing place.
 
 14 Chums 
 
 In came the victorious team ; hot and 
 dusty, for the naval men have given 
 them a deal of leather hunting this 
 last innings. 
 
 " Are you ready to make a move, 
 Monkton ? " asked Hawthorne, of the 
 150th, "you dine with me to-night, you 
 know. Won't you come too, Daintree ? 
 and we'll get up a pool afterwards ? " 
 
 " Many thanks, but it's impossible. The 
 'Eal has a biff dinner on, and the 
 Captain and myself are just going off 
 in his galley." 
 
 "All right. Good-bye, old fellow." 
 
 . " I say, Cecil, " said the Nipper, as 
 Monkton and Hawthorne were getting 
 into their trap, " just one word before 
 I tear myself away! Let me whisper! 
 I've been blowed, but how the operation 
 was performed or with what — " 
 
 " Drive on, Johnnie ! I'll be the death 
 of you^ you yowig villain I " roared Cecil.
 
 CHAPTEE II. 
 
 M^^UE Avay now lies with Monkton and 
 ^^m Hawthorne, who, still discussing 
 the leading features of the day's 
 match, are puffing smoke and making a 
 start across the neutral ground once more, 
 on their Avay home. 
 
 The military law of " Gib " is, rightly 
 enough, very strict. At sunset the gates 
 are closed ; and woe to the unfortunate 
 who has been too careless of the flight 
 of the enemy, for, be he anxious to get out 
 amongst the Spaniards, or be he anxious to 
 get in amongst the English, equally will he 
 be sold, and will remain on, so to speak, the 
 wrong side of the hedge until next morning. 
 
 However, we will not be amongst the 
 goats to-night ! The garlicy proprietor of
 
 16 Chum 
 
 s : 
 
 the greasy hotel at the Spanish lines shall 
 not score a single centimo by our misfor- 
 tunes ; neither will we herd with any of 
 the ghastly groups of men, women, and 
 children, who, regardless of decency, half- 
 clothed and wholly vile, will huddle to- 
 gether for hours on the neutral ground. 
 
 !N'one of these luxuries for us ! We give 
 them up voluntarily ! We will return to 
 our own simple, unassuming habitations ! 
 
 It is getting near sunset now, and the 
 out-goers and incomers can make their 
 way but slowly. 
 
 We have lots of time to observe them, 
 as our trap comes to a stand-still fifty yards 
 from the great gates. 
 
 Few, if any places, can show such a 
 variety of face, form, and limb. Port Said, 
 since the Canal started, harbours an even 
 larger sprinkling of different nationalities, 
 certainly a larger assortment of the scum of 
 different nations, but then they are not all 
 strained into a narrow tube at a certain
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 17 
 
 time every day, giving one such a pano- 
 rama as this. 
 
 Here they come ! 
 
 A pair of mules, with glittering harness 
 and jangling bells, drawing a phaeton, in- 
 side which, leaning well back with her 
 duenna, is a laughing, black-eyed seiiorita, 
 with coquettish veil and head-dress, who 
 has been enjoying a day's shopping in 
 Gibraltar. 
 
 Close behind, takinor advantag;e of the 
 necessary slowness with whicii everything 
 and everybody moves, to cast furtive 
 Cflances of admiration at the smilincr dam- 
 sel, comes a Spanish priest, who has been 
 visiting Brother Ambrose, of the Gibraltar 
 Eoman Catholic Cathedral. She is used to 
 his admiration ; do they not meet in the 
 confessional ? and prefers, at present, to 
 look in the direction of our two com- 
 panions. Lucky dogs ! Xow a bright-eyed 
 Abigail — "own maid" to tlie wife of one 
 of tlie officers of tlie garrison — who has 
 
 Vol. I. O
 
 18 Chums: 
 
 taken advantage of being sent out to match 
 a ribbon, to steal outside for a short chat 
 with Tommy Atkins of the 150th, comes 
 tripping in, " cheek-by-jowl " with a long, 
 gaunt Arab, who, wrapped in liis filthy 
 blanket, stalks along, apparently uncon- 
 scious of the close proximity of youth 
 and beauty. 
 
 "Make way, there! room for a lady!" 
 and, trotting leisurely along, pushing his 
 Avay through everything, comes a saga- 
 cious jackass, with paniers half-full of eggs, 
 and a wrinkled female perched astride his 
 hinder quarters. A fat, frowsy old hay- 
 bag she looks ; and at least equall}^ frowsy 
 is the peasant who runs by her side, bridle 
 in hand, being dragged by, rather than 
 guiding, the fiiithful moke. 
 
 " More room, there ! more ladies ! " 
 and, laughing and flirting, a riding party 
 of soldiers, their wives, daughters, and 
 friends, endeavour to push along. 
 
 Dos^s of breeds ; carts of sorts, filled with
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 1 9 
 
 Avool and fodder ; Moors, in gorgeous tur- 
 bans, brilliant jackets, knickerbockers, and 
 heelless slippers, all combine to swell this 
 most amusinof of livini? streams. At last 
 we are able to move on again, driving past 
 bastion after bastion, past the market-place, 
 and so into the main street, past the Cathe- 
 dral, Government House, and the Main 
 Guard, over the bridg^e, and so aloni? the 
 road by the Alameda, passing above the 
 Eagged Staff, the Dockyard, and the bath- 
 ing place at Eosix Bay, on to the barracks 
 of the 150th Fusiliers. 
 
 " There sfoes the ' dressinc^ buckle,' " said 
 Hawtliorne, as the car stopped at the offi- 
 cers' quarters ; " we've hit it off nicely ; 
 just in time for a sherry and bitters before- 
 ^ve dress." 
 
 Few of the 150th are concerned in the- 
 tale, so we will not linizer over the mess- 
 table. 
 
 It was about 9 r.M. when a " move " be- 
 gan to be made. 
 
 c2
 
 20 Chums 
 
 "Who's for the theatre? Who's for 
 pool?" 
 
 " What do you say, Cecil ? " said Haw- 
 thorne. 
 
 " Well, it's so infernally sultry that I 
 think even the third-rate music in that 
 open-air theatre would be preferable to 
 pool to-night ; but I'm game for anything 
 you like." 
 
 "Eight! we'll make up a party for the 
 theatre, and all drive down together. By- 
 t he-bye, it doesn't begin until 0.30, and 
 it's no good getting there too earl}^, so I'll 
 play you a fifty game of billiards before 
 w^e start." 
 
 At a little before ten, the party set 
 out for the Alameda. 
 
 " Heard anything more of your little 
 actress and protege, Cecil ? " 
 
 " Oh, yes ! I forget whether I told you 
 fellows the whole story. There will be 
 just time before we reach the theatre. 
 I had little Dicky Ormby under my wing
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 21 
 
 the other nis^ht, and we had been care- 
 fully reading the English papers in the 
 reading room. 
 
 "The young beggar had tumbled off to 
 sleep, and I fancy I must have been 
 thinking very deeply. At any rate, it 
 was past eleven when we cleared out. 
 We were commencing to cross the square, 
 when I thought I saw something move 
 on the steps underneath the smoking 
 room. We walked towards them, and, 
 sure enoucfh, there was somethinir, small 
 and white, which clutched me by the 
 trowsers, and, looking down, I discovered 
 a pale, half-starved child, sobbing pite- 
 ously. 
 
 "Dicky and I looked at one another in 
 consternation ; we couldn't let the poor 
 little devil remain there, and neither of 
 us had much experience in the manage- 
 ment of kids. 
 
 "I sat on the steps, took the child on 
 my knee, and with the assistance of
 
 22 Chums : 
 
 Dicky — who's one idea seemed to be 
 making faces — tried to quiet her. When 
 she found tongue — she couldn't have 
 been much more than three years old — 
 she sobbed out the lesson that some 
 worthless woman had taught her before 
 turning her adrift. ' I'se a lub child 
 an she's sick of me.' 'Who's sick of 
 you, little chap?' said the Kipper, pausing 
 on the stroke of a most masterly grim- 
 ace. 'Shes sick of me,' and the sobbing 
 came on again, more piteously. 
 
 " Once more the Nipper and I looked at 
 each other, and with still more conster- 
 nation, and I'm hanged if I don't believe 
 that we should have remained on those 
 steps, looking at one another with ever- 
 increasing consternation until this mo- 
 ment, had not a girl, who was passing 
 swiftly down the street, stopped in evident 
 astonishment at our group. Thought we 
 were bullying the child, I daresay ! Here 
 was a chance not to be missed, and
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 23 
 
 having had, from earhest infancy, tlie 
 utmost confidence in the opposite sex in 
 anything concerning babies, I beckoned 
 that astonished girl, and carefully de- 
 posited our little friend in her arms 
 without a word. 
 
 "Rum little beggars, kids ! She quieted 
 down almost immediately, and clung to 
 her rescuer, and, as I trusted, our pre- 
 server. 
 
 " Then came the old formula. With 
 how many blows and shakings had she 
 been taught it ! ' I'se a lub child an' 
 she's sick of me.' The girl — number 
 two, the preserver, you know — looked at 
 me, evidently expecting some explanation, 
 and I tcld her all I had heard, which 
 amounted to deuced little. 
 
 " By this lime the child had fallen 
 asleep, and looked so pale and ghastly 
 by the dim lamp-hght, that, but for an 
 occasional sob, one might have thought 
 her dead.
 
 24 Chums : 
 
 "I'm not what you call a goody, goody 
 sort of fellow ; my morals, I'm afraid, are 
 loose ; my general tone of mind, dissi- 
 pated, but here was a new experience, 
 thrust as it were into one's very arms, 
 and plain enough to understand. Seduc- 
 tion, desertion, cruelty. Ah, you fellows, 
 it was a side of the picture that ice seldom 
 see, and looking at it, I cursed the villain 
 who seduced, and the mother who had 
 deserted, — no, not the mother, thank God 
 there had been no mockery of that word. 
 I should say the ' she ' of the child's 
 piteous cr3\" Here Cecil broke off ab- 
 ruptly, and gave rather a poor attempt 
 at a laugh. 
 
 " Take time, old boy," said one of the 
 soldiers. 
 
 " I beg pardon, I'm afraid," and Cecil 
 went back to his ordinary, rather lazy 
 style, " I'm afraid I began to drivel ; 
 can't make out why I started cheap 
 sentiment ; we'll put it down to that
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 
 
 25 
 
 cura^oa and brandy ; it's scarcely my 
 usual line ! " 
 
 It speaks well for the sex to which the 
 " villains " belong, that, notwithstanding 
 Monkton's " driveling " and " cheap senti- 
 mentality," not a man of that after 
 dinner party had sneered at the story, 
 not a man but was, for the time at any 
 rate, interested in the " poor little devil 
 on the doorstep." 
 
 " Never mind your usual line ; finish 
 the yarn," said Hawthorne. 
 
 " Well, there's not much more to tell. 
 I persuaded our — how shall we dis- 
 tinguish her? — our life-preserver .^ to take 
 the child home with her ; not that she 
 wanted much persuasion, and after see- 
 ing her housed, Dicky and I shipped 
 ourselves on board the old Tliunder- 
 horah again. 
 
 " I might mention that our life-preserver 
 is between seventeen and eighteen years 
 of age, her name is Mary Lawrence, and
 
 26 Chums: 
 
 she performs at the tlieatre to-night. 
 Here we are, tumble out ! " 
 
 Cecil probably forgot to add that he 
 had paid down a lump sum for the child's 
 outfit, and had made every arrangement 
 to prevent her becoming a burden in her 
 new home. 
 
 The theatre was a temporary affair, 
 unroofed ; erected at one end of the 
 Alameda ; and the whole of the arrange- 
 ments were in rather primitive style ; but 
 it was cool ; you could see the stars, and, 
 greatest blessing, most soothing influence 
 of all, you could smoke. Naval and 
 military officers, principally in mess dress, 
 occupied the stalls, in which were also a 
 good number of Eock Scorpions, male 
 and female. The English ladies thought 
 the business savoured too much of the 
 Music Hall, to patronize it. 
 
 " La Grande Duchesee " was being per- 
 formed, "Fritz" being ogled by the 
 Duchesse as they entered.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 27 
 
 Hawthorne and Monkton found seats 
 in one of the front rows, and one., at any 
 rate, of them w^as anxious to see the act- 
 ress, Mary Law^rence, come on the stage. 
 
 They liad not long to wait ; she soon 
 appeared as Fritz's sweetheart, in the scene 
 in which he is " on sentry," and will take 
 no notice of her, '• accordincf to re^T^ula- 
 tion." 
 
 Although by no means great, either as 
 a singer or an actress, her pretty, innocent 
 face and manner went down uncommonly 
 well with the susceptible British officer. 
 The way in which she alternately coaxed 
 and bullied the unfortunate sentry, until 
 giving up his pretended zeal for his duty, 
 he flings his musket on the ground and 
 himself into her arms, to the tune and 
 words of ''Damn the regulation;" fairly 
 brought down the house — or would have, 
 had it been roofed. 
 
 " Dev'hsh pretty little girl that ! " re- 
 marked a man behind Monkton ; " looks
 
 28 Chums : 
 
 simple, too, and — confiding ! We must see 
 more of her, mustn't we, Jack?" 
 
 " Not much difficulty about that, I 
 should imagine ! She's probably about as 
 simple as your little friend Yic, and 
 equally unmercenary," replied Jack. 
 
 " Ah ! poor little Vic, she certainly has 
 a strong taste for filigree ornaments," said 
 the first speaker. 
 
 "Yes; and it's not hard to guess the 
 amount of simplicity left in a strolling 
 actress like Mary Lawrence," resumed 
 Jack. " I'll bet you I discover the exact 
 amount in under a week, if you like." 
 
 Both the men laughed, and Cecil felt 
 so disgusted at the way in which they 
 spoke of a girl whom he knew to be pure 
 and simple, that, saying good night to 
 Hawthorne, he got up and left the 
 theatre. 
 
 Many other women ; pure wives, spot- 
 less daughters, did Mr. Jack Armstrong 
 drag through the mire during the course
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 29 
 
 of the evening. "With any amount of 
 money ; owner of a yacht (in which he 
 had lately come to Gib), horses, everything 
 that coin could purchase ; with no near 
 relatives, and no profession, Mr. John, or 
 Jack Armstrong did, as so many idlers 
 of his description do ; sneered at good- 
 ness, laughed at vu'tue, and, caring for no 
 one, was, in return, uncared for by the 
 very man who cruised in his yacht, rode 
 his horses, and called him " Jack," and 
 " Old fellow." 
 
 Leaving our characters behind us, as 
 Sir Peter Trayle does at Lady Sneerweil's, 
 for the benefit of the back-biters, we will 
 follow Monkton out into the open. 
 
 Lighting a cigar, he throws himself 
 under a tree, and waits — as, trulli to tell, 
 he has waited several times lately — for 
 Mary. 
 
 It is past midnight before she appears, 
 tripping along, fast as usual. He has 
 risen, and is just going to call to her to
 
 30 a 
 
 lunts : 
 
 wait for him, Avhen another figure passes 
 quickly by him, another and very difl'er- 
 ent voice to his accosts the girl ; a 
 mocking voice, which makes her tremble 
 and hurry along quicker then ever. 
 
 " A fine night, is it not, my dear ? 
 What a charming little sweetheart you 
 made ; what a shame of ' Fritz ' not to 
 see you home. But I may instead, may 
 I not, pretty one ? " 
 
 Mary hurried on, afraid to even look 
 at her tormentor, who kept close at her 
 side, smiling down into her pale face. 
 
 " Don't walk so fast, dear, you will 
 leave me behind without havinc: had a 
 single kiss. It's nice and dark under 
 the trees, you ivill let me, won't you ? 
 Fritz shan't be angry; that's right; just 
 one little one." 
 
 His hand is on her arm, but before it 
 can encircle her waist, a blow, in which 
 is contained all the viciousness that Cecil 
 has kept bottled up since leaving the
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 31 
 
 theatre, catches him full on the cheek, and 
 over he rolls, half senseless. 
 
 " Thought so ! " said Cecil, as he turned 
 him over and recognised the now dis- 
 figured face of the man who had so 
 annoyed him. 
 
 " Glad I hit out straig^ht ; come, take 
 my arm. Miss Lawrence, and we w^ill jog 
 along together I " and poor Mary, looking 
 thoroughly miserable and trying hard to 
 keep the tears back, is only too glad to 
 do so; leaving her tormentor — who she 
 is still afraid to look at — to pick himself 
 up as soon as he thinks proper. 
 
 " Oil ! why ! " she said, her low musical 
 voice sounding very sad to Cecil, " why 
 are some men so cruel, so heartless ? and 
 there are so many ! so many of them." 
 
 Poor Mary, young as she was, she 
 had on several occasions before this 
 needed protection, and had long ago 
 discovered that her youth could ijive her 
 none.
 
 32 Chums : 
 
 What could he say? A naval officer, 
 a combatant one I mean — learns the 
 world's lessons shortly after he enters his 
 'teens, and Cecil had, of course, seen 
 plenty of this sort of cruelty. 
 
 " If, like me," she continued, " they 
 had no mother, no sister, I think, per- 
 liaps, I could understand it better ; but 
 how they can go straight from a mother's 
 kiss, a sister's "oettinef, to such a — a — " she 
 stopped ! How could slie, a young girl, 
 tell him all she thought, all she fancied? 
 
 " Never mind ; forget all about it," 
 he said. "Besides, you have a sister, you 
 know, now. I suppose Maggie will be 
 fast asleep by tliis time ? " 
 
 " I don't know ; she is just as likely 
 to be wide awake. But you will come 
 in and see her and — father." 
 
 The Lawrences were lodging in a small 
 street at the back of the cathedral ; the 
 head of the family was of a peculiarly 
 retiring disposition. Born a gentleman,
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 33 
 
 and ones holding a good position — lie 
 liad sunk, through drunkenness and other 
 vices, lower and lower on the social 
 ladder, until he had reached the rung on 
 which we shall be introduced to him : 
 some years ago he had lost his right leg 
 in a railway acoident, and had taken to 
 drink harder than ever. 
 
 Mary's salary is small, for she was very 
 young to be engaged for leading parts, 
 and the manai]fer had made rather a 
 favour of taking her. 
 
 Poor girl ! her's has been a hard life. . 
 As far back- as she can recollect she has 
 been the slave of a drunken and violent 
 father, who has never ceased to im- 
 press upon her that her mission (alas for 
 woman's mission) is to soothe his de- 
 clining years, providing money honestly 
 or otherwise. 
 
 Livinc^ in London, he had manag^ed to 
 have her fairly educated ; she had a 
 great likinij^ for music, and a o-Qod 
 
 YUL. I. 1>
 
 34 Chums : 
 
 voice, and he soon determined that no 
 time should be lost in turning both to 
 account. After a few engagements in 
 minor parts, in small provincial theatres, 
 she had, about six weeks ago, joined 
 the company we have seen, on the eve 
 ^f their starting for Gib. 
 
 They reached the lodgings, and Mary 
 '•opened the door with her latch-key. 
 
 " What the devil d'you make s'much 
 noise for?" growled a hoarse thick voice 
 from a room at the end of the narrow 
 passage. 
 
 " It's me, father. Mr. Monkton has 
 come in for a few minutes to see you 
 and Maggie." 
 
 " Well, he can come in without making 
 row enough to wake the dead." 
 
 This came rather less harshly along 
 the passage, for Mr. Jim Lawrence did 
 not care to bully his daughter before 
 Monkton, who seemed likely to turn out 
 a useful friend.
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 35 
 
 They groped their way through the 
 tobacco smoke and fumes of gin, and 
 entered the small back room to2^ether. 
 
 Mr. Lawrence was sitting at the table 
 in his shirt-sleeves, a half-emptied bottle 
 at his side, a short black pipe in his 
 mouth. 
 
 I wouldn't dare to introduce a low 
 villain to my gentle readers without gin 
 and short black pipe. 
 
 He muttered a surly greeting as Cecil 
 entered, but did not attempt to rise. 
 lie is a man of moderate height, thick 
 set, with a face which must once have 
 been handsome, and which even now 
 shows few signs of dissipation and crime. 
 
 " So you've brought the girl safely 
 home ! Hope you enjoyed your walk ! " 
 And he leered at them both. 
 
 " I am tired, father, and shall go to 
 bed. If you would like to see Maggie, 
 Mr. Monkton, will you take a peep at 
 her now ? " 
 
 d2
 
 3 6 Chums : 
 
 " Thank you, I should Hke to," said 
 Cecil. 
 
 Mary said good-night to her father, 
 and Cecil followed her upstairs to the 
 child's cot. 
 
 " Dood Mr. Monk, I knew 'ou was 
 toming," cried the little one, springing 
 up, and throwing her arms around him 
 directly he went near her. '' Dey said 
 he'd tome," she continued, delightedh^, to 
 Mary, " and I was so gad, I wote up 
 at once." The little darlinc^ looked as 
 happy as possible, but so sleepy. 
 
 " I must not keep you awake now, 
 Maggie, it's very late. I'll come and see 
 you again before the ship sails." 
 
 " 'Ou mustn't go far, or I'll send zat 
 bad black man, who tomes to me wen 
 I'm tross, to bring 'ou back adain." 
 
 " All right, little woman, that will be 
 a first-rate way to get rid of your bad 
 black friend, won't it ? But I hope he 
 doesn't come often I"
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 37 
 
 " He tomes too often, mammy says," 
 and the child nodded her head sagely. 
 " Oftentimes he bins his bid, black dog, 
 and puts it on my soulder." 
 
 " Oh, I'm sure he doesn't do that very 
 often. Good-night, little woman, mammy 
 is sleepy if you are not." He kissed her 
 and laid her back in the cot, as she 
 said, 
 
 " Mamma's sleepy, but Maggie's not a 
 wee bit," and before " mammy " could 
 give her a kiss she was fast asleep. 
 
 Let me describe the pair as they 
 stand together by the child's cot. 
 
 She is shghtly above the average 
 height, rather fair and delicate-looking, 
 with an earnest, trustful expression. Her 
 face is siceet, the best kind of prettiness, 
 and she is altogether a girl to be loved 
 dearly, to be protected carefully. 
 
 He is a tall, powerfully-made man, 
 with curling, chesnut hair, blue eyes, 
 and a ruddy complexion ; a strong, hand-
 
 38 Chums : 
 
 some face, able to make its own way in 
 the world, but with too great a love of 
 ease and pleasure depicted upon it. 
 
 TJiere ! I hope you are satisfied ; I 
 hate describing people ! 
 
 The pair — the " tall, powerfully-made, 
 &c., &c.," man, and the " fair, delicate- 
 looking, &c., &c.," woman, bade each 
 other good night, and the former returned 
 to the sitting-room, the smoke, and the 
 gin. 
 
 Lawrence was still sitting over his grog, 
 and had evidently been imbibing pretty 
 freely whilst the others were upstairs. He 
 greeted Monkton with a cunning grin, 
 and in a familiar tone, which was infi- 
 nitely more objectionable than his usual 
 bullying one, said — 
 
 " Well ! musht shay, dev'lish good of 
 shwell like you to come 'n shee brok'n- 
 down cad like m'shelf. Tak' a chair, 
 Cap'n ; lielp'n shelf — I'm ole sailor m'shelf 
 • — not Eoyal Navy, tho' — musht'a been
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 39 
 
 shinsh I — turn'd cad : — musht'a been in 
 mercli'n sewish. Don't seem t'raelee mncli 
 'bout it shomeliow. — By-th'-bye," and he 
 pulled himself together, " p'raps you'll 
 tell me what you do want ? 'tween Men's 
 — you don't come t' see me ; that's 
 hardly good 'nough — p'raps it'sh the girl ! 
 Ah ! young blood ! young be-lood ! I 
 don't mind telling you, 'tween friends, 
 that I shan't stand i' your way." Cecil 
 stared at him in the greatest astonish- 
 ment, and, after a long pull at his glass, 
 he continued, dropping back once more 
 into thick utterance, " What meant shay's 
 thish — she's yoursh ! — for conshid'ration. 
 Th' old gov'nor won't shpoil shport ! 
 Nev' mind weddings I — mat'mon'y — bosh I 
 Tak'er! Blesh ye m' chil'en." And the 
 old villain's head fell forward on the table. 
 
 " Good God ! Are such things possible ! 
 And you are her father ? " exclaimed 
 Cecil, rising, and speaking in tones of the 
 deepest disgust.
 
 40 Chims : 
 
 " Who'sh 'er father?" 
 
 " Why, you are, are you not ? " 
 
 " Nev' mmd ! — Cap'n's 'quish'tive ! Blesh 
 
 you ! — Nev' mind mat'mony !— shght schrip- 
 
 tion for poor old Gov'nor to 'keep'n quiet ! 
 
 Tak'er ; Blesh ye m' chil'n ! " 
 
 Utterly disgusted, Cecil left the room and 
 
 the house. 

 
 CIIAl'TEE in. 
 
 "^UT now, gentle reader, come into 
 my confidence. I'm sick of Gib ! 
 After only two chapters I want 
 change of scene. My poetic outburst was 
 a sham ; my wild enthujriasm about the 
 brave old rock w^as an imposture ! I feel it 
 now, and marvel how I worked it up ; more 
 especially do I marvel when I remember 
 that for fully six months I had not opened 
 a " Life of Xelson," and for at least the 
 same period of time had eschewed both 
 beer for breakfast and gin cocktails after- 
 wards. 
 
 But I can conceal it no longer — Gib is 
 a feeble spot ; not as one of " Our Military 
 Stations," but as a " Tea Garden and Ee- 
 creation ground ! "' It is weak — very ! Be-
 
 42 Chums : 
 
 sides, there are other characters to be 
 introduced; the "sisters, cousins and aunts" 
 of the friends and enemies we have made 
 already, and they, inteUigent creatures, do 
 ?iot live on the brave old rock — far from 
 it. So, although we shall not arrive there 
 for a chapter or two, I may mention be- 
 tween ourselves that w^e are off to England. 
 But first, come and take one more peep, 
 by daylight this time, ^into the Lawrences' 
 sitting room. 
 
 It is small and scantily furnished. The 
 regulation allowance of lodging-house orna- 
 ments on the mantel-piece, the regulation 
 allowance of lodging-house chairs, with 
 covers on, &c., &c. The proprietor of the 
 lodgings is half English, and prides himself 
 upon having the correct taste in such mat- 
 ters. " The infant Samuel " is there in 
 plaster. The man, who — attired in an ivy 
 leaf — leans against a post, crosses his legs, 
 and plays the banjo, is there, in wood. The 
 woman, who — attired in a laurel wreath — -
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 43 
 
 leans against a post, crosses her legs, and 
 appears to be momentarily expecting lialf- 
 a-brick to be thrown at her head, is also 
 there in wood. The necessary china fruits 
 underneath their glass cases are upon the 
 sideboard, whilst on the little round table 
 before the window is the piece of pink and 
 white coral. Mr. Lawrence is out, thank 
 goodness. The Cafe Eoyale being just 
 around the corner, we may safely conclude 
 that the head of all the Lawrences is not 
 far distant ; he has avoided Monkton since 
 their last interview. 
 
 Mary is working ; Maggie is playing 
 with a doll which is arrayed in a style of 
 magnificence unequalled since the days of 
 "Solomon in all his glory." "The infant 
 Samuel," with his eyes shut and no "knee- 
 caps," — poor boy ! — is praying, and striv- 
 ing to look comfortable ; the man against 
 the post continues to play the banjo ; 
 the woman, in like position, continues 
 resolutely prepared to ward off the threat-
 
 44 Cliiims : 
 
 eiied brick, and Cecil Monkton, the in- 
 evitable cigar between his lips, looks 
 perfectly lazy and contented, in an arm 
 chair, as we enter. 
 
 "Now^, Mr. Monk, 'on and mammy's tome 
 to tate tea wid little Tommy Tutter ; I'm 
 Tommy's mammy." 
 
 Master Thomas Tucker was the doll in 
 the gorgeous attire. 
 
 " I'm not particularly spooney on tea," 
 laughed Cecil, good humouredly, "but as 
 you are so j^ressing — " 
 
 " Oh, it's only betend, 'ou know. Do 'ou 
 take sudar, sir ? " and Maggie busied her- 
 self amongst her small cups and saucers. 
 ^•I donno which one's most grown up, to 
 give tea to first," she continued. 
 
 " Ah, you must guess that. Which 
 should you think ? " 
 
 " I think zat 'ou is ze eldest an' mammy 
 is ze oldest^ 
 
 "Well, that's a good example of a dis- 
 tinction without a difference, young woman,"
 
 A Tale of the Queens Nai'i/. 45 
 
 said Cecil. " Xo more, I thank you, ma'am," 
 lie continued, as ^laggie, having poured 
 some terrible concoction into a cup, tried 
 hard to persuade him to drink it. 
 
 ''Mary, time's up I " said he, rising quickly, 
 after a glance at his ^vatch. " I must say 
 good-b3'e ; Dare will be expecting me on 
 board to relieve him. I may Avrite, may I 
 not ? and you will let me know, now and 
 then, how vou are all o'ettim? on. The 
 moment you return to England I shall lind 
 you out, and hear what you intend doing. 
 Good-bye I mind you both take care of 
 yourselves.'' 
 
 Who can act like a young girl Avh(3 
 knows the world ? Who can tell what 
 Avere Mary's feelings as she said good-bye 
 to the only real friend and protector she 
 had known? After he had left, with a 
 smile and shake of the hand for her. and 
 a kiss for the weeping Maggie ; after the 
 curtain had fallen and the stage been 
 cleared, then came the real "life behind
 
 4G Chums : 
 
 the scenes," and unmindful of Maggie, for- 
 getting everything but the bitterness of 
 that smihng good-bye, Mary threw herself 
 upon the old horse-hair sofa and sobbed 
 aloud. 
 
 " It was not love, he never loved me ! 
 and I— I—" 
 
 The little one, half frightened, crept up to 
 her, and was immediately taken into her 
 arms ; and so they wept on together. The 
 young girl, as icomen must weep who feel 
 that their love, their yearning, craving to 
 be loved is all unthought of, uncared for : 
 the little one, as children ivill weep whose 
 mamma's have forgotten to send and have 
 them brought down to dessert. Oh, ye 
 tears ! useless ! useless ! 
 
 A few days ago I saw a telescope — now 
 in the possession of an English naval officer 
 — which was made expressly for the use 
 of the Great Napoleon, whilst he was a 
 prisoner at St. Helena. It was a very 
 long and powerful instrument.
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy, 47 
 
 Can you not imagine the yearning for 
 freedom, the craving for a return to life, 
 which he must have felt as lie gazed 
 through it at vessels sailing past his small 
 house, Longwood, and knew that although 
 he could bring them seemingly close, they 
 were in reality far away from him, and all 
 that remained of- his greatness. And so 
 Mary yearned for Cecil's love. 
 
 He had been near her for weeks ; 
 common interests had seemed to bring 
 them close, and yet she felt now that he 
 had, in reality, been far away from her 
 and her life, and would sail away knowing 
 nothing of her thoughts and cravings. 
 
 Cecil, sorry at having to leave them, but 
 having before him the certainty of being 
 " homeward bound " to-morrow, walked 
 rapidly towards the main street, intending 
 to have a sherry and bitters, and see if any 
 *' Thunderbombs " were going off to the 
 ship. Thinking, probably, more of the 
 " loved ones at home " than of the " rock
 
 48 Chums : 
 
 scorpions " around him ; he was far away 
 in a four-handed game of lawn tennis, 
 and had just arrived at fort}^ all. 
 
 ''Deuce! and I serve right !" he said, in 
 something above a whisper, as a particu- 
 larly energetic " damn it ! " proclaimed 
 that he had run into somebody. He mur- 
 mured something about being sorry, and 
 he felt rather ashamed of himself. He was 
 unused to running: into thing^s. iN'aval 
 officers at that time were dreadfully inex- 
 perienced. Eemember, it was some few 
 years asfo. No one would accuse an officer 
 of the present day of inexperience in that 
 line. There we certainly have improved. 
 
 "You haven't done anything to be so 
 proud of ! Serve me i^ight, indeed ! If I 
 wasn't lame — I'd — hulloh, captain, it's you, 
 is it? No offence, but it seems a little 
 hard to knock down a one-legged man, 
 and then say it serves him right. I have 
 been transacting a little business, and am 
 just returning to my apartments, and — ah
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 49 
 
 ■ — dear daughter. Good-bye ! " With an 
 attempt at dignity which contrasted ludic- 
 rously with his billiard-markery " get up," 
 Mr. Lawrence re-cocked his hat, and 
 turned to limp away. 
 
 "We part friends, Mr. Lawrence?" 
 
 " That's as may be, Lieutenant Monkton, 
 sir. You left me most abruptly the other 
 night, but — I — ah — bear no malice. I — ah 
 — let it pass. An old man, a — ah — cripple, 
 must make allowance for youth and 
 yigour." 
 
 " You do not dare to refer to your 
 yillainous proposition again ! Stupid with 
 drink, degraded to the level of a brute as 
 you were, I forgave it then, but do not 
 try me more. I would forgive much for 
 Mary's sake. Good-bye, Mr. Lawrence." 
 The old man took his proffered hand and 
 pressed it fervently. 
 
 " Good-bye, captain, we part friends." 
 And with one look back at his friend, a 
 look which, had he seen it, would hove 
 
 VOL. I. K
 
 50 Chums : 
 
 brought Cecil's liumming to an abrupt 
 conclusion, the worthy father made for 
 his lodofinc^s. 
 
 " Degraded ! stupid with drink ! ah, we 
 shall run against one another again yet, 
 and as friends ! ah, yes ! as such friends." 
 On he limps, chuckling occasionally, and 
 muttering " such friends ! " 
 
 Cecil, with thoughts much nearer now, 
 thoughts of Mary and lier wretched father, 
 walked on towards the club. 
 
 He found a large gathering of fellows 
 there, most of whom were discussing the 
 probability of getting a good look at the 
 fleet going out of harbour on the following 
 morning. 
 
 "Don't you think that some of us ener- 
 getic soldiers might get leave for the 
 Express to take us on board to-morrow, 
 and to follow the fleet down as far as 
 Tangiers, say, eh, Cecil?" asked Hawthorne. 
 
 " If the admiral could be persuaded to 
 ask the captain of the port for her, it
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 51 
 
 will be all right. I'm just going off; why 
 don't some of you fellows come on board 
 and see the old boy about it ? " 
 
 " Wouldn't getting the governor to ask 
 do as well?" 
 
 " Yes ; but he's at the cottage, and won't 
 be in to-day, so Sir Eobert is your man." 
 
 " Well, I'll go for one. Come along, 
 Bates, no one, from a ballet girl to an 
 ancient mariner, can refuse you any- 
 thing." 
 
 " All right, I'm game ; but I bar the- 
 talking business ; you must do that." 
 
 "You had better bar your eyeglass too,"' 
 said Monkton ; " the old boy don't like 
 being reconnoitred at such close quarters. 
 Good-bye, everybody. We'll hope to meet 
 again as time rolls on. In the meantime 
 a word of advice : wear flannel next your 
 skin, and write to your mother occa- 
 sionally." 
 
 " Funny fellow. Good-bye, old chap, 
 good-bye." 
 
 E 2
 
 CHAPTEE IV. 
 
 i)T was a glorious morning, everything 
 
 (Mb; favourable for a start, when at 
 
 10.80 a.m. the Thunderhomb^ the 
 
 ■commander-in-chiefs flagship, made a 
 
 general signal " prepare to weigh." 
 
 Boom boats had been hoisted in on the 
 previous evening, and steam was up ; the 
 few small boats that had been left down 
 for special duties were now hoisted, and 
 every ship prepared for a move. 
 
 At 10.30 the admiral, accompanied by 
 the flag captain, Le Hunte, and the flag 
 lieutenant, our old friend Francis Dain- 
 tree, came on deck, and was immediately 
 joined by the commander and stafi-com- 
 mander, who had been waitincr on the 
 poop.
 
 A Tale of the Queens ^'avy. 53 
 
 " How's the wind, Steele ? " asked Sir 
 Eobert. 
 
 " Seems pretty steady from W.S.W., 
 sir," replied the stafT-commander. 
 
 " I thought so. The barometer's steady. 
 We Avill make a start, Le Hunte." 
 
 " Aye, aye, sir. Mr. Wardlaw, make 
 the e^eneral signal, to ' Aveii^h immediately.' 
 Captain Scott, carry on if you please." 
 
 "Very. good, sir," and the commander 
 left the group to give his orders. 
 
 " All under weigh except the Resiih- 
 tance^ sir," reported the Hag-lieutenant, 
 after some minutes had elapsed, during 
 Avhich the signalmen on the poop of the 
 flagships had been carefully watching the 
 remaininc^ vessels. 
 
 "What is the matter with her?" said 
 the admiral. 
 
 " She'th generally rather late, sir. She 
 has no steam capstan." 
 
 "Ah, well, she'll be ready in lots of 
 time to pick up her station in the fleet.
 
 54 Ch 
 
 lums : 
 
 Hoist the sis^nal ' form single column in' 
 ]ine ahead.' " 
 
 The TJiunderhomh had weighed, and was 
 now slowly steaming ahead in the direcr 
 tion of the Pearl Eock, being foUoAved by 
 the Hercules. 
 
 The fleet had been moored in two lines, 
 the Tliunderhomh at the head of one, the 
 Agincourt, flagship of rear-admiral Lord 
 William Parker, second in command, head- 
 ing the other, and now the ThunderhomV s 
 line took the lead. 
 
 Slowly and majestically the huge mon- 
 sters take station. 
 
 Tliunderhomh and Hercules^ Penelope and 
 Audacious, these four formed the starboard 
 or first division, now the leading column. 
 After them came the second division, under 
 the rear-admiral, comprising the Agin- 
 eoiirt, Sultan, Besistance, and Valiant. The 
 admiral's despatch vessel, the Helicon, took 
 station about a couple of cables on the 
 starboard beam of the flagship.
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 55 
 
 " There come our sliore-ofoinof friends," 
 said the admiral, as the little Express, 
 with a party of ladies and gentlemeii on 
 board, slipped from her buoy off tiie 
 dockyard and steamed rapidly along llie 
 fleet, with much waving of hats and hand- 
 kerchiefs, until she arrived abreast the 
 Thunder bomb. 
 
 Hawthorne and Bates had evidently 
 been successful in their mission to the 
 admiral. They had, indeed, found that 
 the gallant old gentleman had himself 
 made every arrangement for a large party 
 to be entertained on board the gun-boat, 
 and was just sending off invitations in all 
 directions through the flag-lieutenant. 
 
 " The admiral intends to proceed at 
 eight knots." Such was the next general 
 signal made from the flagship, and the 
 fleet in close order proceeded through 
 the straits at that rate. 
 
 In those days — several years ago — this 
 fleet of ironclads was one of the finest
 
 56 Chums: 
 
 that had been brought together, and 
 people little thought that in a few years 
 one half of the ships comj)osing it would 
 be placed in the Eeserve, and the other 
 considered almost obsolete. 
 
 Turrets and batteries, rams and tor- 
 pedoes, are having their day. What next? 
 Pen and ink, and diplomacy. Paper ships 
 and the millennium. Who can tell ? 
 
 Any ordinary ironclad is a regular float- 
 ing village, with seven or eight hundred iii- 
 habitants. A young gentlemen's academ}^, 
 presided over by the naval instructor for 
 the midshipmen ; a board school under the 
 naval schoolmaster for the ship's boys ; 
 blacksmith's forges, carpenter's benches, 
 tailors, barbers, shoemakers, coopers, a 
 village band, a village dispensary, etc., 
 etc., to say nothing of the complicated 
 machinery, in the management of which 
 scores of stokers under the en^neers are 
 constantly employed. When we remember 
 that we have not yet mentioned anything
 
 A Tale of the Qiieens Navy. 57 
 
 about the actual bluejackets forming the 
 crew, with their officers, their gun-drills, 
 their sail-drills, and now in these days 
 of naval brigades, their field exercise and 
 battalion drill, it is easy to understand 
 that the captain of a man-of-war has his 
 work cut out. 
 
 The ships were nearly abreast Tangiers, 
 when Sir Eobert called for the signal mid- 
 shipman of the watch to bring a slate. 
 The Slug, appearing from behind the chart 
 liouse, Avhich it was his constant care to 
 keep between himself and the authorities, 
 touched his cap, and held the slate whilst 
 the admiral wrote. " From admiral to 
 the ladies — Hope you are enjoying your 
 trip. Dehghted that we have such splen- 
 did weather. Am now going to drink 
 your very good health, and to our merry 
 meeting again next summer. There, signal 
 that by semaphore to the Express.'' 
 
 In two or three minutes back came the 
 answer from the ladies.
 
 58 Chums : 
 
 "Many thanks; enjoying our trip im- 
 mensely ; intend drinking ' absent friends' 
 religiously every day until your return 
 next year." 
 
 The admiral chuckled as the reply was 
 reported to him, and saying "Come along, 
 Le Ilunte, tliat ought to give us an ap- 
 petite for luncheon ; bless their hearts ! " 
 went below. 
 
 Shortly after two o'clock, the Express 
 asked permission to " part company,'' and 
 the Thimderhoinb having affirmed it, every 
 one went on deck to see the last of her. 
 
 The little craft stopped and allowed the 
 fleet to steam past her, and, though not on 
 board her at the time, I have it on good 
 authority that the following tunes Avere 
 played by the bands of the different iron- 
 clads as they went by : 
 
 H.M.S. Thunderhomh, by special request 
 of Lieutenant Daintree — who of course 
 had a well-beloved in the Exjiress — 
 " Good-bye, sweetheart, good-bye," and
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 51) 
 
 "The girl I left behind me;" H.M.S. 
 Hercules, " Only a little mountain lad," 
 and " Dinna forget ;" II. M.S. Penelope, 
 ^'Little maid of Arcadie ;" II.M.S. Auda- 
 cious, " Come, sit by my side, little darling ;" 
 II.M.S. Agincourt, " Then you'll remem- 
 ber me ;" II.M.S. Sultan, " Oh Kafoozlum ;" 
 II.M.S. Besistance, " We'd better bide 
 a wee;" and H.M.S. Valiant, "We don't 
 want to fight, but by jingo if we do!" 
 
 As the last ship passed the E.xpress, 
 the little craft signalled " Farewell, plea- 
 sant cruise," to which tlie flag-ship replied, 
 " Thank you, farewell," and with more 
 waving of handkerchiefs, perhaps wdtli 
 some wiping of eyes, the gun-boat started 
 off at full speed for her buoy once more, 
 meaning, to quote that ancient sea ditty, 
 " The man at the Nore : " 
 
 Meanin' a buoy for the ships wot sail, 
 And not a boy wot's a juvenile male. 
 
 Cecil Monkton ivas officer of the after- 
 noon watch — 12 to 4 — and just as the 
 ThunderhomV s band finished, " Good bye,
 
 GO Chums : 
 
 sweetheart, good bye," Dicky Ormby — 
 who was one of the midshipmen of the 
 Avatch — sidled np to him on the poop, 
 and pointed to Daintree, who, utterly 
 regardless of admiral, flag captain, and 
 bosses of all descriptions by whom he was 
 surrounded, leant pensively against the 
 signal lockers, and elaborately Aviped his 
 eyes. 
 
 Cecil laughed, and Daintree was not 
 so overwhelmed Avitli grief as to be un- 
 able to see that it was at him. With 
 a comically resigned air he joined Cecil, 
 who Avhispered, "Let me give you the 
 straight tip in the great moralizer's own 
 words : 
 
 An onion will do well for such a shift, 
 Which in a napkin being close conveyed, 
 Shall in despite, enforce a watery eye. 
 
 " Why, Daintree, old fellow ! why so 
 sad? I thought you were anxious to 
 get back to Dortsmouth. This is a very 
 poor compliment to the Southsea girls." 
 
 " Oh ! It's not sorrow at leaving Gib
 
 A Tale of the Queeiis Xavy. Gl 
 
 tliat causetli these tears to flow,"' lisped 
 Daintree, tragicall}' waving liis handker- 
 chief, and slowly returninf^- it to the 
 pocket from which, trnth to tell, it need 
 never have been taken. '• Xo, no,'"' he 
 continued, '* it"s not present sorrow, but 
 rather the bitterness of past recollections 
 that forceth up the silent tear."' And 
 the little man gave a huge sigh. 
 
 I don't think I have mentioned yet 
 that he was a small man with dark 
 hair, laughing eyes, and an expression 
 which grew more whimsical as his words 
 became more melancliolv. 
 
 ''The bitterness is now overpast," he 
 continued. '"I've just put my sad story 
 into verse. You shall hear it if you 
 like, and so may little Ormby ; perchance 
 it may be a warnino' to him. I call it * First 
 love ; a sorrowful story.' It runs hke this : 
 
 There -was a little midshipman, 
 A lively, cheery lad ; 
 
 His curls were crisp, 
 
 A gentle lisp, 
 His messmates said he had.
 
 02 Chums : 
 
 There also Avas a spinster 
 A frisky, gushing gal ; 
 
 Nor prim, nor staid, 
 
 That artless maid — 
 Her 'pa a general. 
 
 The maiden owned to twenty four, 
 The youth fifteen, about ; 
 
 The youth was fat — 
 
 But what of that? 
 The maid was passing stout. 
 
 The youth was baptised "Francis," 
 The maid was christened " Sal ; "' 
 
 Scarce five foot he, 
 
 Just live six she, 
 He dearly loved that gil. 
 
 He didn't care, he told her so — 
 He didn't care a rap 
 
 For other girls — 
 
 She smootli'd his curls. 
 And took him on her lap. 
 
 He'd give them up, he told her so — 
 He'd give up rank and pay ; 
 
 He would retire. 
 
 His martial fire 
 To warm love should give \\^y. 
 
 I think she kiss'd his rosy lips, 
 I Tino)c she call'd him " dear',' 
 
 Then asked if he 
 
 Would groomsman be. 
 To ' cousin Sam ' next year. 
 
 Methinks again I see him star', 
 I hear the sigh he hove ; 
 
 That man he cursed — 
 
 He was the first 
 Cursed by that little cove. 
 
 She tried to calm him with a sweet 
 He brushed the drop aside ; 
 
 No lollipop. 
 
 Yet acid drop, 
 That tear he strove to hide.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Xavij. G3 
 
 Then quickly from her lap he slid, 
 He slid down on the floor ; 
 
 Nor girls, nor tops, 
 
 Nor lollipops. 
 He'd never love no more. 
 
 Defective though his grammar was, 
 ' Twas riglit — for truth to tell — - 
 
 From then till now 
 
 He's kept that vow, 
 Not wisely, hut too well.' 
 
 Daintree's voice grew very melanclioly, 
 but in his eyes shone the light of a 
 great contentment, as he pointed toAvards 
 the httle Express steaming away in the 
 distance, and continued, 
 
 Within that ship a matron stands, 
 ISix olive hranches l)y her; 
 
 Her full blown charms 
 
 Scarce could these arms 
 Entwine — her name is Myer. 
 
 Within this ship a bachelor stands ; 
 A bach'lor grave and saintly. 
 
 Yes ! Yes ! 'tis he. 
 
 Once more I see 
 That youth ! his name is 
 
 '' Daintree r' screamed the Xipper, who 
 could restrain his anxious lungs no 
 longer. 
 
 " Midshipman of the watch ! " roared 
 the commander's voice from the fore-
 
 64 Chums : 
 
 bridge. "Where on eartli is the mid- 
 shipman of the watch?" 
 
 Away went Ormby, rushing wildly 
 for'ard, expecting at the very least to 
 have a week's leave stopped, or be 
 given " Watch and Watch," for being 
 away from his station. 
 
 Commander Scott did not as a general 
 rule make a midshipman's life altogether 
 a bed of roses ; but, luckily for Dicky's 
 chance of an early run on shore at Ports- 
 mouth, the men had been working well, 
 and consequently the commander was 
 inclined to be a little easy. 
 
 " 'Hem! It's you is it?" he said, as 
 the Nipper presented a gloomy, expectant 
 face above the bridge, and feeling it 
 surperfluous to reply that it unfortunately 
 teas him, touched his cap with anxious 
 reverence. 
 
 " How often am I to tell you, sir, 
 that the Lee side of the quarter deck is 
 the place for the midshipman of the
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 65 
 
 watch, unless he is ordered away on 
 duty?" 
 
 The Nipper considered it unadvisable 
 to specify any particular number of times, 
 so waited for yet another question of 
 submissive attention. 
 
 " Where were you, eh ? " 
 
 Dicky might easily have made the excuse 
 that he had been on the poop to make 
 a report, but telling " cuffers " was not 
 his forte. 
 
 " I went to speak to the officer of 
 the watch for a minute, sir," he said. 
 
 "Who is the officer of the watch?" 
 
 '• Mr. Monkton, sir," and the gloom on 
 the poor Mpper's countenance deepened, 
 and his vision of "leave stopped," extend- 
 ed rapidly from a week to a fortnight, 
 for Cecil Monkton was no friend of the 
 commander's. However, gloomy visions 
 vanished, as — glad to have a hit at 
 Monkton — the latter muttered, "of course, 
 it's useless blaming youngsters for shirk-
 
 66 Chums 
 
 ing their work when lieutenants set 
 them the example. Tell the captain of 
 marines that I shall be obliged if he 
 will give orders that the sentry on the 
 top-gallant forecastle is to wear his great 
 coat at night only. The fellow's lashed 
 up now — in the middle of the afternoon, 
 by gad ! — like a slop drinking, clog flop- 
 ping old woman," and, having delivered 
 himself of his pohte speech, he turned 
 away and began rapidly pacing the 
 narrow bridge, seeking whom he might be 
 down upon next. 
 
 The Nipper was off like a rocket, and 
 quickly gladdened the heart of Captain 
 Garton of the E.M.L.I. with his civil 
 message. 
 
 It was not until nearly four o'clock that 
 he had a chance of speaking to Monkton 
 again. Then he had to carry to him the 
 ship's log, to be written up and signed at 
 the end of the watch. 
 
 "Well, Dicky, out with it!" said Cecil.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Xavy. 67 
 
 " Which was it, watch and watch, or leave 
 stopped ? " 
 
 "The commander is too thoroughly 
 pleased with my general good conduct to 
 punish so zealous an officer for a slight 
 offence, especially as he knows that the 
 lieutenants encourage us youngsters to 
 shirk our duty." 
 
 " Did he say that ? Confound him I " 
 
 " Hulloh, Monkton, your turn now," said 
 the captain of marines. " He'll talk at 
 you for a week about that.'" 
 
 " Who's afraid ? " laughed Cecil. '-Have 
 you called my relief, Ormby ? " 
 
 "Yes, sir. He was having a caulk and 
 tried to gain a little time by pretending 
 that it wasn't his first dog." 
 
 " That's just like Spencer. He'd better 
 wake up and have all his wits about him, 
 for the admiral intends to alter the forma- 
 tion of the fleet soon. By Jove ! here 
 comes the old boy to see it done 
 himself." 
 
 F 2
 
 68 Chmns 
 
 Eight bells struck, and after turning over 
 the orders — speed and course of the ship, 
 formation of the fleet, employment of the 
 watch, etc. — to Spencer, Cecil went below, 
 taking the Nipper with him to have a cup 
 of cocoa in the ward-room. 
 
 Leaving the officer of the watch — his 
 sextant in one hand, his telescope in the 
 other — to keep his station and enjoy life, if 
 he can, we will send for a third cup, and 
 join Cecil and the Nipper. 
 
 " I had a letter from Yi this morning," 
 commenced the latter ; " she sent her love 
 to you, Cecil." 
 
 " Ah ! What news had she ? Anything 
 startling going on at home ? " 
 
 " No ; your people are blooming ; your 
 mother took Vi to a dance at Tunbridge 
 Wells last week. Yi says she danced every 
 dance, and, as far as I can make out, she's 
 started a violent flirtation with some fellow 
 or other." 
 
 " And that' all, ehs ? Nothing very new
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 69 
 
 in that. We've heard of her doing the 
 same thing before." 
 
 " She was awfully down upon me at the 
 end of her letter," said Dicky, rather dole- 
 fully. 
 
 " Why, what have you been up to ? " 
 
 "Well, you see we've had a long spell in 
 harbour, and the uncle won't allow me 
 more than the regulation £50 a year ; and 
 what with our dance, and the riding 
 parties, and a million other things, I was 
 obliged to write home for more coin a little 
 while ago." 
 
 " Then allow me to tell you, young fellow, 
 that you ought to be ashamed of yourself. 
 Here you are, a boy, not much over sixteen, 
 with eighty odd pounds a-year, not to men- 
 tion payment of outfitters' bills, railway 
 fares, and sundry odd tips on high days, 
 and yet you come down on your uncle, who, 
 you know jolly Avell, can't afford to do more 
 for you. I'm precious glad Vi dropped on 
 
 you."
 
 70 Chums : 
 
 " Don't preach, Cecil, old fellow ; please 
 don't. She said just the same, and a lot 
 more, and I felt a perfect scoundrel, you 
 know." The Mpper looked so mournful 
 that much lecturing was out of the question, 
 and Cecil was glad of the excuse to say no 
 more. 
 
 Our little friend Dicky, was, by no man- 
 ner of means, like the resolute party in the 
 song, who expresses such a settled deter- 
 mination to " mourn, and mourn, and 
 mourn." I think his spirits must have been, 
 if anything, more buoyant, more hopeful, 
 more — generally blithesome, than those of 
 the songster. 
 
 Let us suppose that they were ; it strikes 
 me that that would be more in keeping with 
 the character we w^ant. 
 
 Here goes, then ; aw^ay with melancholy ! 
 
 The Nipper, trying as hard to keep back 
 his laughter, as he had, before that little 
 digression of mine, to keep back his tears, 
 continued :
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 71 
 
 " I'm going to be awfully careful. I've 
 given up jam and mixed biscuits, which 
 are ' extras ' with us, and I'm thinking seri- 
 ously of starting a ' savings bank ' account 
 directly we arrive at Portsmouth. The 
 worst of it is, the least they'll take in one 
 deposit is a bob, and I can't run to that ; 
 I'm only good for ninepence half-penny." ' 
 
 " Well, you most irrepressible young 
 humbug, promise me one thing ; that, 
 rather than bother Mr. Ormby and Yi 
 again, you will let me be your savings 
 banker." 
 
 " No, no, sir ; you are my 'sea dad;' don't 
 let us mix up any other character with 
 that ; goodness knows, I'm deep enough in 
 your debt already ! " and Dicky looked up 
 at his ''sea daddy" with glistening eyes. 
 
 There I go agam, I can't help it ! The 
 Nipper will be affectionate, and I only 
 meant him to be noisy and lively. However, 
 I give it up ; the first idea falls through, and 
 to my middle's good and bad qualities
 
 72 Chums : 
 
 please add — affection. Cocoa and milk 
 paste, as supplied by " Moore," is filling at 
 the price — sevenpence half-penny, army and 
 navy co-operative — and our two friends and 
 ourselves have had enough of it. 
 
 " I must go and do a baccy," said Cecil. 
 " Have you got any novels ? If not, there 
 are two or three new ones in my cabin, if 
 you like to go and dig them out." 
 
 " I'll come and yarn, whilst you smoke, if 
 you don't mind," said Dicky. 
 
 " All right, come along ! " 
 
 "By-the-bye, Cecil, Vi tells me that a 
 man called Armstrong — a young, unmarried 
 man, she says — has taken ' Old Court,' the 
 house old Dent lived in, and which has been 
 vacant, goodness knows how long." 
 
 " Armstrong ! " exclaimed Cecil ; " I'm 
 hanged if I don't believe that's the man 
 I knocked over at Gib. That will be 
 awkward, eh ? " 
 
 " Not if you feel equal to knocking him 
 over again," said Dicky, as they entered the
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 73 
 
 smoking place, which was screened off be- 
 tween a couple of guns, on the main deck. 
 
 About a dozen fellows were congregated 
 there, lounging around a pair of large spit- 
 kids. All were members of the ward-room 
 mess — the gun-room had a separate place 
 — and all were blowing clouds of smoke. 
 
 The commander, whose temper did not 
 seem to have improved, was smoking a 
 cigarette. He looked up, superciliously, as 
 they sat down, and then, in a perfectly 
 audible tone, asked Steele, the staff-com- 
 mander, if there was anything the matter 
 with the gun-room smoking place. Ormby, 
 of course, looked uncomfortable ; the rest of 
 the officers present eyed the commander 
 with disgust, and Cecil, with an oath, which 
 certainly reached the ears for which it was 
 intended, said, " We shan't have any drill 
 to-night, Dicky, so I'll play you a game of 
 chess in the gun-room, if your fellows dont 
 mind my coming there," strong emphasis on 
 the last few words. " Nice man, isn't he ?"
 
 74 Ch 
 
 urns : 
 
 he continued, when they were clear of the 
 ward-room. " Holy of holies ! it's quite a 
 relief to get away from his thin lips and 
 bloodshot eyes." 
 
 " Yes ; that's all very well," said Dicky ; 
 " you know how I hate the beast," and 
 Dicky murmured feelingly the words of a 
 gun-room ditty, which expressed the earnest 
 wish : 
 
 May he sink down in a rocky, rocky shoal ; 
 May the sharks take liis body, and the devil take his soul, 
 Ei fol de ray, Ri fol de ray, &c. 
 
 " But you've lost your smoke through me," 
 he said. 
 
 " Never mind that. By Jove, Dicky, I 
 hope things will be very different before 
 long. They're too absurd, now. Separate 
 smoking places, separate messes, separate 
 treatment in every way ; it seems hard to 
 imagine that ward-room and gun-room 
 officers are of the same breed. The objec- 
 tion to having such youngsters as junior 
 midshipmen in a ward-room mess, which 
 many of the good old school look upon as
 
 A Tale of the Queeiis Navy 75 
 
 iiisiirmoiintable, is all skittles, humbug ! I 
 blow it away; I laugh at it, Dicky, my boy. 
 To begin with, there's no necessity for mid- 
 shipmen to be sent to regular sea-going 
 ships until they are, say, sixteen, and old 
 enough to keep quiet and behave decently 
 at dinner. Then, directly after mess, they 
 might still have a sort of gun-room, but on 
 a smaller scale, to wdiich they might retire 
 and skylark. It would do the youngsters 
 good, and therefore gradually improve the 
 whole tone of the service, and we'll see it 
 come off yet, Dicky, my boy ! 
 
 'No rock so hard, but that a little wave 
 May beat admission in a thousand j-ears.' 
 
 Tennyson says that, and he's right, Dicky, 
 my boy." 
 
 "Why, you're quite excited about it, 
 Cecil." 
 
 " Well, I may be ! It means general im- 
 provement. Xo more row^dyism." 
 
 The Nipper didn't say much ; he was not 
 so particularly keen on long ward-room
 
 76 Chums. 
 
 dinners with an old doctor, or paymaster, 
 perhaps, oh, horror ! the naval instructor 
 as next door neighbour, and the certainty of 
 being rigidly fixed until after the Queen's 
 health had been drunk. 
 
 At six o'clock the gun-room dinner be- 
 gan, and shortly before that Cecil strolled 
 off to his cabin, and buried himself in a 
 novel until the dressing bugle went at a 
 quarter to seven ; for the ward-room dinner 
 at sea was at seven o'clock.
 
 CHAPTEE V. 
 
 |EEE you are ! Walk up ! Walk up ! 
 All in to begin ! Come and see 
 the animals feed ! Sound the gong, 
 YilHam ! 
 
 It is 7 p.m. ; the dinner bugle has just 
 sounded, and, before the last note has died 
 away, almost everyone is at his place. If 
 sea air can't give a man an appetite, I will 
 go further, and say, an absolute craving for 
 food, much food, I should like to hear 
 wdiat can. The chaplain, for a wonder, is 
 late, so we have time to " cast our eyes 
 around us," Silas Wegg-like 
 
 We are all on the after part of the lower 
 deck, in a large room, with a table at the 
 fore end of it, around which seats for about 
 six-and- twenty officers are now placed ;
 
 78 Chums : 
 
 cabins, with sliding doors, jalousies and 
 green curtains are on each side of the room, 
 and in the after part, right at the stern, are 
 ports with lounges, or, in naval parlance, 
 lockers, directly under them. A large sky- 
 light gives plenty of light and air. Swing- 
 ing lamps, small swinging tables, a piano, 
 several arm-chairs, sideboards, and a few 
 pictures, etc., form the furniture. 
 
 Two taps on the table from the president ; 
 "Thank God!" from the chaplain — who 
 has just arrived — and the feed has com- 
 menced. Spencer is president for the week ; 
 the officers take it in turn. 
 
 " ^ot often that the Church is adrift at 
 feeding-time," he said, looking at the parson. 
 " What's the meaning of it, bishop ? Satur- 
 day night, and no sermon ready for to- 
 morrow, I suppose ! " 
 
 "Eh? What?" exclaimed the fleet surgeon, 
 a rather deaf and irritable old gentleman. 
 "No sermon to-morrow, did you say? 
 What ? "
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 79 
 
 No notice was taken of his question. 
 Questioning was his normal condition, and 
 after firing off a volley of Eh's and What's, 
 ]ie returned to his soup. 
 
 The ward-room dinner-party to-night 
 was complete — no clubs or hotels to offer 
 any attractions — and consisted of the 
 commander, six lieutenants, staff-com- 
 commander, captain, and two subalterns 
 of marines, three doctors," fleet and staff 
 surgeons, and surgeon, paymaster, and senior 
 assistant paymaster, chaplain, naval in- 
 structor, and chief engineer. Daintree also 
 was dining in the ward-room, as he was, of 
 course, an honorary member of the mess, 
 although the seniors of an admiral's staff, 
 namely, the flag-captain, flag-lieutenant, 
 and secretary always mess with the 
 admiral. 
 
 " Well, doctor ! " said Monkton— the 
 senior surgeon is always the doctor — " Well, 
 doctor ; clear of women for a week ? 
 Glorious, isn't it ? "
 
 80 Chums : 
 
 " Eh ? clear of 'em, are we ? We're never 
 clear of 'em. What ? None on board ? 
 What of that ? Won't you and young 
 susceptible there " — jerking his head to- 
 wards Daintree — " talk about them, eh ? 
 Won't you think about them, eh? Shall 
 we hear of anything but women from him, 
 eh ?— Ugh ! " 
 
 " I must thay," said Daintree, " that, as 
 a topic of conversation, I think them 
 dethidedly amuthing. We're better without 
 them at thea, though ; mind you, doctor, I 
 thay only at thea." 
 
 " Eh ? amusing are they, at sea ? Better go 
 to a troop-ship, then, hadn't you? What?" 
 
 " I thaid I did not want them at thea, 
 and I don't think I could enjoy life in a 
 trooper." 
 
 '' What? Think you could enjoy life in a 
 trooper, eh ? You needn't shout. What ?" 
 
 Daintree gave it up, and turning to Gar- 
 ton said : " I once thought theriously of 
 going in for a trooper, but a fellow who'd
 
 A Tale of t lie Queens Navy. 81 
 
 been in the Crocodile, told me quite 
 enough about the busineth to choke me off. 
 I put one of hith many experienceth into 
 verthe. Would you like to hear it ? It 
 runs like thith : 
 
 Within a troop-thip'th chief thaloon 
 I that and thlept one afternoon, 
 'Twath rolling heavily, and thoon 
 
 I fell a dreaming. 
 I dreamt a tholdier pathed me Ly, 
 A thettled purpothe in hith eye. 
 Upon hith lipth the " tholdier'th thigh," 
 
 " Oh , thteward ! a bathin." 
 I dreamt the ladieth cabin door 
 AVath opened wide, and half a thcore 
 Of female headth thrust out to roar 
 
 '• Oh, tliteward ! a bathin." 
 I dreamt the babieth woke and thqualled. 
 And loudly for their motherth called, 
 And louder thtill the nurtheth bawled 
 
 " Oh, thteward 1 a bathin." 
 I dreamt each eddy round about, 
 Each cat'th paw, white horthe, water thpout. 
 Clothed round me with the mocking thout, 
 
 " Oh, thteward ! a bathin." 
 I dreamt each wave and gentle thwell, 
 Each ripple ath it rothe and fell, 
 Look'd up. and whithpered, '' what I not well ?" 
 
 " Oh, thteward I a bathin." 
 I dreamt the thoundth and thignth of woe, 
 Recall'd from out the " long ago," 
 A thpathm ! and I murmured low, 
 
 " Oh. thteward ! a bathin." 
 I dreamt — but no, the dream had fled, 
 Motherth and babieth ! — in their thtead, 
 A thirthty naval man thouted, 
 
 "Hi ! thteward 1 a tumbler." 
 
 VOL. I. G
 
 82 Ch 
 
 lums : 
 
 " Bravo, Daintree ! You'll make a con- 
 vert of him yet, doctor. A few months 
 m a trooper, and he'd be a regular 
 woman-hater," said the parson, a big, 
 jovial-looking man, who had been in the 
 'Varsity football team, and had rowed 
 in his college "eight" at "John's," 
 Cambridge. 
 
 " Eh ? Daintree hate a woman ? Bah ! He 
 couldn't do it. What ? Loves them all, 
 does he ? There's some safety in that. 
 What ? Shall I tell you a story, eh ? " 
 
 The doctor's stories, at the expense of 
 the fair sex, were, occasionall}^, amusing, so 
 this time his questioning " Eh ? " was 
 answered by a general " Go it, doctor ! Fire 
 away ! " and a faint murmur of " It'th too 
 bad," from Daintree. 
 
 " Many years ago," began the doctor. 
 
 " No, no," cried Daintree. " Oneth upon 
 a time ; oneth upon a time." 
 
 "Eh? you'll tell the story, will you? 
 What ? "
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 83 
 
 "Go on, doctor; go on," said his rever- 
 ence, James Clarke. 
 
 " Many years ago, gentlemen, when I was 
 quite a boy — " 
 
 " Oh I I apologise, then," interrupted 
 Daintree ; " that mutht have been many 
 y earth ago." 
 
 " Shut up, Daintree." Monkton's hand 
 squeezed the little man's neck, and the 
 doctor, looking very irate, continued his 
 story, or rather his series of questions and 
 answers. 
 
 " D'y^ know Mevagissey Loo ? " 
 
 "Any relation of Thauthy Kate, or 
 Thumping Thai ? " whispered Daintree to 
 Garton. 
 
 " Don't be an idiot ! It's the name of a 
 place. Let the old boy go on ; he'll 
 answer his own questions." 
 
 " Don't know Mevagissey Loo ? " resumed 
 the doctor. "What? No, it isn't in 'Thom- 
 erthet,' Master Francis ; it's in Cornwall. 
 What about it, eh ? Well, there used to 
 
 g2
 
 84 Chums 
 
 be a small village chiirch near there, which 
 I occasionally attended. The parson was 
 a good sort, bnt primitive. What ? not a 
 theological genius like Clarke, eh? Ugh! 
 He had a Avife, poor devil, eh ? One of the 
 ordinary kind — wife vulgaris, eh? Didn't 
 she scold ! Didn't she worry ! Didn't she 
 rave at him, eh ? And how did he re- 
 taliate ? Listen ! He worked for the best, 
 poor devil, but he failed. It was Sunday 
 morning ; the village church was crowded. 
 What ? Was I there ? I Avas. My primi- 
 tive friend — you knoAV, the parson, eh ? — 
 he chose for his text that oft-neglected 
 command, ' Wives obey your husbands.' 
 He spoke with feeling — deep feeling — for 
 some considerable time. Was I asleep? 
 What? It is possible. In those days I 
 slept on the slightest provocation. My 
 winks at any rate were few. Though 
 not generally an excitable inan in the 
 pulpit, my friend's subject was one of 
 strong personal interest. He warmed to it.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 
 
 What ? He grew positively noisy over it ; 
 and seizing his prayer book — or was it a 
 liymn book, eh ? I forget — he said, ' My 
 brethren, there is, in this church, a woman 
 of whom, for her persistent disobedience of, 
 and resistance to, marital authority, I deem 
 it necessary to make an example. I shall, 
 therefore, personally and publicly, in the 
 pi'esence of this congregation, cast a book 
 at the head of that offender against the laws 
 of God and man.' Poor devil ! He thouo-ht 
 that his own wife was the only one of the 
 kind ! Are you attending, you Daintree ? 
 Are you listening, eli P Yes ! All right. 
 Well, the parson paused, looked solemnly 
 around, and then quickly raised the book 
 on high — a rustle, a waving of feathers, 
 and, gentlemen, messmates — every woman s 
 head in that congregation was ducked ! 
 Not one womcvn but imagined that tlie par- 
 son intended to pick her out as the ex- 
 ample ! Need I say more, eh ? One word. 
 What? Women are the same now as they
 
 86 Ch 
 
 urns : 
 
 were then in Mevagissey or in London ; if 
 the same thing happened, there wonld 
 still be ducks amongst any congregation of 
 women. What?" 
 
 " I quite agree with your last remark," 
 said Daintree : " there are ducks amongst 
 any congregation of women." 
 
 " Ducks, eh ? Don't talk nonsense. You 
 think with the mad warblers of the present 
 day that ' The sailor's wife the sailor's star 
 shall be,' eh ? ' That the sliip will tack and 
 the tar come back, to the first love of his 
 heart,' etc., etc., eh ? / know you. Wliat ? 
 You are a good example, eh ? Can you 
 remember who Avas your Jirst love ? If you 
 could, would you go back to her P What ? 
 not you, you humbug ! What sailor with 
 a wife isn't a miserable object, eh ? In 
 England, isn't he a nuisance to his brother 
 officers because he wants to take tea with 
 liis sta7% when it's his day for duty ? On a 
 foreign station, isn't he a melancholy kill- 
 joy because his Mar is enjoying Ufe on her
 
 A Tale of the Queen' f< Navy. 87 
 
 own account ' ten thousand miles away ? 
 What ? Who would care to, always live by 
 star-light ? Star indeed. What ? She's a 
 shooting star, that's what she is, and the 
 poor married man is the tattered target. 
 That's about it, eh? Bah!" 
 
 The doctor fiercely attacked his bread 
 crumbs. 
 
 " Doctor, you're quite incorrigible," said 
 the parson. " Do allow that there are 
 some nice women." 
 
 " Where ? Eh ? I fancied I'd come 
 across something really superior the other 
 day. We were talking of matrimony " 
 
 " Ho ! ho ! sly dog," came in a dis- 
 guised voice from a short distance down 
 the table. "Talking matrimony, were you, 
 sly dog?" 
 
 A grim smile flickered for a moment 
 through the old boy's moustache at the 
 idea of his doing anythnig beyond talk of 
 matrimony. 
 
 " What was I saying Avlien that playful
 
 88 Chums : 
 
 officer interrupted me ? " he continued. 
 " Oh, I know. The superior girl and I were 
 talking on the subject which appears to 
 have so great an attraction for our facetious 
 messmate, when she observed, with a 
 snigger, that when she married, instead 
 of saying, ' Love, honour, and obey,' she in- 
 tended to say, ' Love and honour in a way' 
 Eh ? Funny joke, wasn't it ? Awful wit, 
 wasn't it ? What ? I talked no more. I 
 wanted to be quiet ; I felt sick. What? " 
 
 " I see notliing in it but an ordinary 
 girl's joke," remarked Daintree, in a casual 
 tone. 
 
 " Oh ! you see nothing in it, don't you ? 
 And pray what were you asked to see in 
 it, eh ? I merely mentioned it — an ordin- 
 ary girl's joke— as a sample of what girls' 
 jokes ordinarily are. What?" 
 
 " Now, order ! order ! " said the presi- 
 dent. " How are you getting on with 
 your ' naval chaplain,' Daintree ? " 
 
 The flag lieutenant rose to the bait
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 89 
 
 eagerly. " Oh ! I've finished my shot at 
 the church. Will you have it ? All right. 
 It runs like this : — 
 
 THE NAVAL CHAPLAIN. 
 
 I take him first — tlie highest place 
 Is given at sea to those -who grace 
 
 The pulpit %yeekly. 
 He needs no rank, he proudly stands 
 On l>oard his ship above all hands 
 
 However meekly. 
 
 Whether he he " high or low," 
 " Evangelical and slow,'" 
 
 Or " broad" as Stanley. 
 "Whether he be thin or fat, 
 "Whether tall or, failing that, 
 
 Strong luiilt and manly; 
 
 Should he be always good and kind ; 
 A gentleman in deed and mind, 
 
 Or only seem so ? 
 Professionally he's a blank. 
 Perfect and absolute in rank, 
 
 See " latest memo." 
 
 Sea-going parsons, by the way, 
 
 I've heard some clever earthlings say. 
 
 Serve only mammon ; 
 But then there many laymen be 
 "Who sny the Church, by land and sea. 
 
 Deals much in gammon. 
 
 Our chaplain is a sportsman keen, 
 And knows full well the points, I ween, 
 
 Of dogs and horses. 
 And — who shall blame if I confess — 
 Can tell a " rat-y " yarn at mess, 
 
 Between the courses.
 
 90 Chums : 
 
 A l)road-Lrimm"d, long-tailed, white-tied priest, 
 He looks a rural dean at least, 
 
 Or bigger gun ; 
 As in his diocese each day, 
 l!y "my lord's" orders he will pr;iy 
 
 Full ininutes, one. 
 
 The day's work done, in sonihre suit 
 Of grey enveloped, hat to hoot, 
 
 He goes ashore. 
 The hat is narrow-hrimmVl, and liigh. 
 The coat-tail's been " dock"d,"' and the tie 
 
 Is white no more. 
 
 He smokes liis pipe — a fool miglit guess 
 His fav'rite drink is B and S, 
 
 Or gin and ginger. 
 He'll tell you witli liis titheless wink, 
 " Judicious use of well-mixed drink. 
 
 No man can injure." 
 
 And so he smokes, and so he drinks, 
 So oft witli cheery joke he winks 
 
 In moderation. 
 Don't blame I our " bishop " knows his men. 
 Good messmate first, the jrlesf may then 
 
 (iain toleration."' 
 
 " That's not bad, Daintree," said the 
 " bishop," haiighmg. " I'll split what you 
 are pleased to call my favourite drink with 
 you shortly after dinner.'' 
 
 " Are we to have the band to night, 
 Dare?" asked the commander. 
 
 " Yes ; they'll strike up in a minute. I 
 told them to commence late so that we 
 might manage a dance after dinner."
 
 ^4 Tale of the Queens Xavy. 91 
 
 " Buck dancing with midshipmen ! 
 Grand sport I should think," sneered Com- 
 mander Scott. 
 
 " You pays your money and you takes 
 your choice," said Dare. " I don't sup- 
 pose that the youngsters will insist upon 
 your dancing with them if you don't wish 
 to." The commander glared at him. 
 " Mind you are my partner to-night," con- 
 tinued Dare, turning to the subaltern of 
 Marine Artillery. "We'll work up the 
 ' Southsea Crawl ' again, the regular East- 
 ney Barrack tip." 
 
 " How people's ideas liave altered ! " said 
 the paymaster, as, after the Queen's health 
 had been drunk, the most regular of the 
 smokers commenced to make a move. 
 " Why, twelve or fifteen years ago, an 
 officer in the navy was ashamed to be 
 seen smoking in uniform. I've eveji 
 known the officers of a ship in the Medi 
 terranean fleet hire a boat at Malta and 
 'lay off' in her to enjoy their baccy.
 
 92 Chums : 
 
 rather than allow their men to see them 
 smoking on board. Now, an officer who 
 doesn't smoke is quite the exception. 
 Bring me a cigar." 
 
 " Chewing is going out of fashion 
 amongst the men," said Steele. " If tliey 
 were only allowed more time for smoking, 
 the filthy quid would soon become alto- 
 gether a thing of the past." 
 
 " Spoken like a book," said Monkton. 
 " There's the band ; ' Sweethearts,' by Jove ! 
 I'd forgotten that it was Saturday night. 
 Come along ! Let's join the festive dance." 
 
 The band was playing on the upper 
 deck, and the gun-room fellows were hard 
 at the mazy valse when the others arrived. 
 Monkton soon spotted the Nipper, getting 
 as much enjoyment out of the dance as 
 anyone could hope for, wdtli the Slug as 
 a partner. 
 
 " Bentley said I was to dance the 
 next with him," he said, as Cecil went 
 up to him.
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy, 93 
 
 "Oil, I'll make it all square with liim. 
 We always have a fly round together." 
 
 " Bentley will have a fly round me 
 afterwards," said the Mpper, dismally. 
 
 " Of course, I can explain that I 
 dragged you off; one would think that 
 your senior sub was a young god." 
 
 Oh, my friend Cecil, you are woe- 
 fully adrift this time ; your explanation 
 won't ease the Nipper off a single stroke ! 
 For some years past, bullying had gone 
 out in most ships, and Cecil, as a mid- 
 shipman, had been fortunate in his mess- 
 mates. Systematic bullying had never 
 fallen to his lot, and he had no idea 
 that for the last few weeks, in fact since 
 Bentley had joined the Thunderhomh as 
 senior sub-lieutenant, the gun-room had 
 almost become, what so many used to 
 be, a perfect hell afloat. A wild polka, 
 a mad set of quadrilles, and the "Buck 
 dance " was over for the evening. " Eule 
 Britannia," quickly followed by " God
 
 94 Chum's 
 
 save the Queen," came as a wind-up, and 
 then the gun-room fellows and a few of 
 the ward-room started off for the former 
 mess to drink " sweethearts and wives," 
 and enjoy the usual Saturday night 
 corobbary — that is, songs and general 
 festivity. 
 
 For a wonder the commander had 
 not interfered with or stopped the band 
 to-night ; ]3ret ending, as he often did, that 
 it prevented some most necessary work 
 being carried out. He was one of those 
 men — and how many of them there are I 
 — who are anxious to keep their power 
 perpetually before their junior's eyes. 
 He and many other naval and military 
 officers are always reminding me of the 
 old yarn about the giver of a dignity 
 ball at Jamaica, who, not satisfied with 
 the amount of respect and attention he 
 was receiving in his capacity of host, 
 determined on asserting his position 
 boldly. Waiting then, until the dance
 
 A Tale of the Queen s Navy. 95 
 
 was at its lieiglit, he exclaimed in a 
 stentorian voice, " Stoppee de Bliand ! " 
 Then after having allowed the dancers 
 to stare at him in astonishment and 
 anxiety for some moments, a flourish of 
 the coloured gentleman's hand was 
 followed by the order, " Go on de 
 Bhand." 
 
 After several repetitions of the above 
 performance, one of the ' female guests, 
 either Jose'fine Johnson or Sally Cook 
 — which of those frail and dusky 
 washerwomen was it ? — ventured to ask, 
 "Why you stoppee de Bhand, Massa 
 Vaysey ? " 
 
 " To show my ortorrity," replied the 
 magnificent gentleman of colour. 
 
 Kote the answer, arrogant, imperious 
 human being, and consider how often 
 you might have given the same when 
 asked why you do so and so. 
 
 Our dignity ball is over, so we will 
 be off to the gun-room, that palatial
 
 96 Chums : 
 
 residence, where sub-lieutenants and mid- 
 shipmen, assistant paymasters, and clerks 
 dwell together in — brotherly love would 
 be the proper ending to the sentence ; 
 but I am nothing, if not truthful ; and 
 truth compels me to finish it thus — row 
 and re veilings. Six subs and sixteen 
 midshipmen, two assistant paymasters and 
 three clerks, occupy — and a little over — 
 this cool retreat. About twenty of them 
 are " at home " to-night, principally on 
 the table, which takes up nearly the 
 whole of the mess, and which it is 
 necessary to utilize as a lounge on gun- 
 room corobbary nights. 
 
 Admiralty arransfements for home com- 
 forts scarcely make allowance for gun- 
 room guests. The spacious " quarters " 
 allotted to the oily sardine in its air-tight 
 box would afford an excellent example of 
 the roomy habitation and its inmates ; 
 absence of air and presence of grease being 
 equally noticeable in each dwelling.
 
 A I'ale of the Queens Navy. 97 
 
 Don't be angry, bald-headed sub, still 
 waiting for promotion at twenty-eight 
 years of age ; don't be angry, '' dear 
 little middy " of twenty-one, with beard, 
 short jacket and dirk. I am not refer- 
 ring to our own times, it would be 
 mutinous lan^uaofe : I dare not. Besides 
 things are better now, are they not ? 
 These are days of light and patent 
 ventilation, not closed scuttles and eco- 
 nomy. Is it not so, eh r Ha ! ha ! ha ! 
 All we want now is boundless faith, 
 unhmited hope, and any amount of 
 charity. 
 
 But to return to the table. Besides some 
 half-dozen midshipmen, who are reclining 
 in easy and graceful attitudes ; we have 
 placed on various parts of it spirits of 
 sorts, from the low gin (square) to the high 
 class brandy. Our special chum, the olea- 
 ginous sardine is there, so is the blushing 
 onion of Spain, and the rich sausage of 
 Oxford, so are divers " assorted meats " — 
 
 VOL. I. H
 
 98 Chums : 
 
 Pate de fois gras, etc., etc. Find a seat, 
 keep cool, if possible, and " fall to " with a 
 will. The Nipper, as the youngest officer 
 present, is ordered to lead off with a song, 
 and accordingly gives, in a shrill, desperate 
 voice, '' Here's to the maiden of bashful 
 fifteen ! Here's to the widow of fifty ! " A 
 clanging of glasses and a general " rise of 
 the spirits " of the party amply rewards 
 the Nipper for his manly sentiments, and 
 conviviality reigns supreme ! 
 
 An endeavour of the Slug's to impose 
 "Far away" upon the company is promptly 
 suppressed, and that heavily sentimental 
 warbler is carried out, carefully deposited 
 inside his chest, and a junior clerk stationed 
 to sit on the lid, until the conclusion of the 
 entertainment. Daintree obliges with "The 
 lath that loveth a Thailor ;'' Monkton gives 
 " Hearts of Oak " and " The Ehine Wine ; " 
 then we have " Tom Bowling," " Farewell, 
 my trim built wherry," and various West 
 Indian, Chinese, and other choruses. Song
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 99 
 
 follows song rapidly, also drink follows 
 drink rapidly, until, at 10 p.m., the ward- 
 room fellows have had enough of it. It is 
 quite impossible to separate without a 
 rocket, though ; thi^ee rockets in fact. 
 Daintree, who is wildly cheerful on Satur- 
 day nights, stations himself upon the table 
 to give the time. " Order ! Order !" a sharp 
 tap on the table from Daintree, then a gentle 
 " Hish-sh-sh-sh " emanates from the same 
 officer, and is joined in by all the others with 
 increasing fervour until breath is exhausted. 
 A general dramming with fists on the 
 table quickly succeeds, then a sharp clap 
 together, followed by a prolonged " Oh ! oh ! 
 oh-o-o-o ! " commenced with extraordinary 
 vehemence and dying gradually away, as 
 the first rocket disappears in the distance. 
 Another succeeds and yet another. 
 
 Daintree — now in his glory — flatly refuses 
 to either have another " tot " or to remove 
 himself from his place of advantage, with- 
 out the West Coast of Africa serf boat 
 
 H 2
 
 100 Chums : 
 
 song. The sides of the table are quickly 
 "manned," fellows sitting on the edge, which 
 represents the gunwale of the boat — 
 sideways, facing towards Daintree, the 
 steersman — with their legs dangling. The 
 steersman takes the solo, the others keep- 
 ing time by a couple of quick taps on the 
 table — given in the serf boats by the 
 paddles on the gunwale, and going 
 through the motions of pulling a stroke 
 between each two taps. " Hi-i-i-i ! " shrieks 
 Daintree, waving his arms and gesticu- 
 lating wildly, " Man-o'-war he come again ! 
 come again ! he come again ! " The 
 paddlers join in, singing, " Man-o'-war he 
 come again ! come again ! he come again ! " 
 Then the steersman, in a higher key and 
 louder shout, " Dash me dollar ! Dash me 
 sixpence ! " the chorus going on as before, 
 with the two taps coming in regularly at 
 each " Man-o'-war," " White man he come 
 again ! Black man he run away ! " yells 
 again and again still higher and louder, as
 
 .4 Tale of the Queens Navy. 101 
 
 he madly waves his imaginary paddle. 
 Then he joins in with the chorus for a 
 few strokes, breaking off once more to 
 scream, " God will bless you ! God he berry 
 good ! Hi-i-i-i," and so on, and so on, 
 until at last he is forcibly deposed 
 and the ward-room fellows retire to their 
 own diggings. A few more ditties, prin- 
 cipally of a playful character, are sung, 
 in the last of which, one of the subs, 
 whilst endeavouring to state that " Miss 
 Tickletoby kept a school," became a trifle 
 thick and incoherent, and eventually dis- 
 appeared somewhat abruptly beneath the 
 table, his tumbler and grog — his " sole 
 remaining joy" — preceding him. 
 
 — 5^ ^^^^
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 '_Q_AriTTVTi\__a- ) 
 
 i|j|jl|EN minutes past midnight ! The 
 Wm officer of the first watch— 8 to 12 
 — has just been reheved by the 
 heutenant who has to keej) the " middle " 
 — 12 to 4 — the men of the latter watch 
 have been mustered and reported correct, 
 and are now preparing to sleep under 
 the forecastle until required for work 
 with the watch, or to take their turn at 
 the wheel, or on a look out. 
 
 One p.m. ! The two midshipmen of 
 the watch have made cocoa for the officer 
 of the watch on the poop, for the sub- 
 lieutenant, or mate of the watch on the 
 fore-bridge, and for themselves ; and are 
 now curled up, half asleep, behind a gun. 
 The officer of the watch, except for an
 
 A Tale of the Qaeens Navy. 103 
 
 occasional stop at the speaking tube to the 
 engine-room to order an increase or re- 
 duction in the number of " revolutions," 
 as necessary to keep the ship in station, 
 is steadily tramping — night glasses in hand 
 — up and down the poop, and the " look 
 out" men have just sung out the name 
 of their station, as they are required to 
 do each time the bell strikes — that is 
 every half hour. No sails are set, so there 
 will not be much for the watch to do to- 
 night. One of the midshipmen of the 
 watch has to go round the decks every 
 hour to see all correct. 
 
 Down to the steerage now, where officers 
 not entitled to cabins are swinging in their 
 hammocks. No noise here. The only sign 
 of life — and that of the faintest — is in 
 the shape of a marine sentry who leans 
 against the door opening on to the lower 
 deck. 
 
 Three bells ! Half past one ! And from 
 the upper deck we hear, " Starboard gang-
 
 1 04 Chums : 
 
 way ! " " Starboard cat-head ! " " Port 
 gangway ! " Port cat-head ! " " Life-buoy !" 
 as the look-out men again hail in succes- 
 sion. 
 
 An uneven swing, certainly not caused 
 by the rolling of the ship, is now noticeable 
 in two hammocks hanging next each other, 
 in the "after" row. A few moments pass, 
 and then two pairs of legs encased in two 
 pairs of flannel trousers, are cautiously 
 thrust out. A moment more and the re- 
 maining portions of the owners of the 
 "flannels" slip noiselessly over the side of 
 their hammocks down to the deck. Both 
 are dressed, and both have knives in their 
 hands. What's their little game ? Don't 
 expect a murder, bloodthirsty reader. 
 
 They evidently have a "little game," and 
 both are in it. 
 
 They stand still for a few minutes watch- 
 ing the sentry, who remains motionless 
 against the door, then they glide quickly 
 underneath the intervening hammocks to
 
 A Tale of the Queens JSiavy. 105 
 
 the foot of one which is slung close to the 
 ladder. Arrived there, the little game is 
 over as far as one of them is concerned, 
 for after a few hurried whispers with his 
 companion, he closes his knife and turns 
 to go back. 
 
 A muttered oath and threat from the 
 other produces no effect, and back goes 
 first villain. The remaining one creeps 
 silently along the hammock until he 
 arrives at its head, and then commences 
 to cut the "laniard" — the rope by which 
 it hangs — close to the beams. In another 
 minute, a rustle is heard ; then a heavy 
 fall is heard, and a figure disaj)pears 
 swiftly up the hatchway. 
 
 The sound of the fall was quite enough 
 to arouse the sentry, who march uig — can 
 a sentry-going machine run! — to the spot, 
 discovered the poor little Xipper lying on 
 the deck perfectly insensible, and with 
 blood flowing freely from a large wound 
 in the side of his head, made apparently
 
 106 Chums : 
 
 by an iron bolt in the combings of the 
 hatchway, directly under his hammock. 
 
 Officers sleeping around quickly awoke, 
 and the Nipper was carried off to the sick 
 bay, for the doctor's inspection. 
 
 "It's not my middle watch, quarter- 
 master. What are you calling me for ? '" 
 This came slowly and rather indistinctly 
 from Dicky as they laid him on a cot. 
 "Why, what's up ? " he murmured again. 
 "What's up? I feel like a boiled owl!" 
 
 The doctors now arrived, and the fleet 
 surgeon having told Dicky to "shut up," 
 which indeed was a superfluous order — the 
 little man having fainted directly after 
 having likened himself to the cooked bird — 
 proceeded to stop the bleeding and band- 
 age him up. 
 
 "How did it happen, eh? Fell out of 
 his hammock, did he? What? Don't be- 
 lieve a word of it. Never knew a mid- 
 shipman fall out of his hammock yet. 
 Some funny practical joker, or damned
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 107 
 
 bully's at the bottom of it. Thing to be 
 proud of, isn't it ? Eh ? " And the old 
 doctor looked up quickly and searchingly 
 at the half-dozen faces around him — sor- 
 rowful faces they were too. 
 
 "Of course he fell out," said Bentley, who 
 had followed the others to the sick bay, 
 and was now standing, dressed, at a short 
 distance from the doctor. "Ko one would 
 cut the boy down," he continued, "or if 
 they did, they'd let him down feet^ not head^ 
 first." 
 
 " Who talked of cutting down ? Eh ? 
 — Your middle watch, I suppose, Bentley? 
 Wonder you never undressed though. 
 Eh ? " The doctor again glanced — sus- 
 piciously this time — along the group, and 
 although not appearing to notice it, his 
 quick eye spotted another individual who 
 had not undressed that night. 
 
 "Please don't let me keep you up, gentle- 
 men. It has been a good night's work for 
 us. Eh ? Or perhaps we had better say —
 
 108 Cliums: 
 
 for two of us. Eh? It will be my proud 
 task to discover and thank them for it. 
 The whole case will naturally be reported 
 to the captain in the morning. Good 
 night, gentlemen ; Good night." The party 
 trooped out, leaving the doctors with their 
 patient. 
 
 " The old boy suspects bullying," said 
 an assistant paymaster. " I never knew 
 him so nasty before." 
 
 " Bullying be hanged, and you too," 
 growled Bentley. " Even supposing that 
 the little imp was cut down, it won't do 
 him any harm ; and it's not likely that that 
 old fossil of a sawbones will find out who 
 did it, as, of course, no fellow could be 
 sneak enough to report a messmate," and 
 he gave a meaning scowl at Eice, the sub 
 the doctor had noticed as not having un- 
 dressed. Two or three fellows who stood 
 in special dread of the senior sub laughed ; 
 but the others were silent, and all pre- 
 pared to " turn in."
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 109 
 
 Then came various jumps and sundry 
 exposures of undraped forms as the in- 
 habitants of the steerage — with the small 
 amount of decency which is possible in 
 the manoeuvre — swung themselves into their 
 hammocks. 
 
 I may as well run on a little way, and 
 say at once what happened witli regard 
 to the "cuttino- down." 
 
 The next afternoon the doctor came 
 across Bentley and Eice walking together, 
 and apparently having hot words over that 
 very subject. He joined them, evidently 
 much to the annoyance of the former, and 
 plunged at once into the matter. 
 
 " Well, Eice, you've something to tell me ? 
 Eh P Better make a clean breast of it ? Eh ? 
 Then Til try and pass it off to the captain 
 as a practical joke. Perhaps Mr. Bentle}' 
 will treat us to his version of the joJce ? Eh ? " 
 The doctor's malicious look at Bentley 
 as he said this, and the muttered " Brute ! 
 Wliat ? " with which he ended it in an in-
 
 no Chums: 
 
 tended aside, was too good. He disliked 
 Bentley intensely, and the feeling was more 
 than reciprocated. 
 
 " If I hadn't a fool to deal witli, you 
 would never know more about it than you 
 do now," said the latter ; " you'd better be 
 careful to let your Christian conscience 
 speak for yourself and about yourself only, 
 my scrupulous friend," he continued, turn- 
 ing his scowling face towards Eice, " or 
 there will be more broken heads before 
 long," and away he walked. 
 
 An hour later Bentley and Eice found 
 themselves before Captain Le Hunt, who 
 — a thoroughly honest, straightforward 
 man himself — had been disgusted beyond 
 measure with the former's brutal be- 
 haviour ; the doctor having managed lo 
 get the true story of the last niglit's 
 proceedings out of Eice. 
 
 Speaking first to Bentley, who, for once, 
 looked a little crestfallen, he said : " I 
 consider, sir, that you have been guilty
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. Ill 
 
 of a most cowardly piece of bullying, 
 practical joking it cannot be called. We 
 are to be ' paid off' on our return to 
 Portsmouth, or I should insist upon your 
 leaving a ship which you have disgraced 
 on more than one occasion. The state 
 of affairs in the gun-room since you 
 became its senior member is not alto- 
 gether unknown to me, and the admiral's 
 report to the admiralty on your conduct 
 will be far from favourable. That will 
 do; you may leave my cabin, sir. Mr. 
 Rice," he continued, when the door had 
 closed upon Bentley, " I am by no means 
 pleased at the part which you have 
 played in this business. 1 can quite 
 believe — in fact, your conduct puts it 
 beyond doubt — that you imagined that 
 a practical joke only was to be played, 
 and Mr. Ormby's hammock let down 
 foot first, but when you found that Mr. 
 Bentley, out of pure spite, had deter- 
 mined on such a brutal proceeding as
 
 112 Chums: 
 
 letting him down by the head, you, 
 instead of returning to your ham- 
 mock and quietly awaiting the result, 
 should have at once put a stop to it. 
 That you feel disgusted now, at Mr. 
 Bentley's conduct, you have shown by 
 reporting it to me ; and I can only ex- 
 press my sorrow that the feeling has 
 come too late to benefit young Ormby's 
 head." 
 
 Rice, a decent enough young fellow, 
 but too easily led, spoke a few words of 
 regret, and left the cabin. 
 
 Bentley, and some of his satellites — 
 loose fish, most of them — who thought 
 him a rattling good fellow, deuced good 
 sort, etc., tried hard to persuade the 
 other gun-room fellows to send Eice to 
 Coventry, or to cob him for sneaking, as 
 they called it ; but the Nipper was a 
 general favourite, and Bentley had by no 
 means increased his popularity by his 
 recent playful joke. The Nipper's mess-
 
 A Tale of the Queens Nav}/. 113 
 
 mates were — as, thank goodness, most 
 naval officers are — a good lot, ready for 
 jokes certainly, rough jokes if necessary, 
 at any moment of the day or night, but 
 decidedly adverse to brutality. There 
 they drew the hne, and it struck most 
 of them, that on this occasion, Bentley 
 had overstepped it. 
 
 So much for the " cutting down." I 
 don't suppose anything would have been 
 heard of it had not the Nipper's head 
 suffered so severely. In the " good old 
 times " it w^as a constant source of amuse- 
 ment with even more amusing (?) results ; 
 but a midshipman's skull is not to be 
 broken with impunity now-a-days. Think 
 of that Eoyal Middy ! Try back, gentle 
 reader. 
 
 It is Sunday morning ; half-past eight 
 o'clock. The gun-room breakfast is over, 
 except for the fellow^s who have been 
 keeping the morning w^atch. The ward- 
 room breakfast is just beginning. Man- 
 
 VOL. I. I
 
 114 Chums: 
 
 of-war's men have to be early birds on 
 board their ships, however late they may 
 cling to the sheets when on shore. They 
 have a lot of sleep to make up then. 
 Night watches are not all " moonlight 
 and peaceful tranquillity," quite the con- 
 trary. 
 
 The chaplain and the doctor were first 
 at the table. The civilian branches are 
 generally " all there when the bell strikes," 
 small blame to them. 
 
 " How is young Ormby this morning, 
 doctor?" inquired his reverence. "I 
 hear he had a nasty blow." 
 
 " Oh, he'll be all right in a day or two. 
 Nice tea this, isn't it ? Eh ? Ditch water. 
 Capital coffee too. Eh ? Beastliness ! 
 Steward, give me a bottle of claret." 
 
 Monkton now appeared from his cabin, 
 and went to see the Nipper, who was 
 again in his hammock in the steerage. 
 When he returned, looking very vicious, 
 he took a seat near the doctor, and
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 115 
 
 tried to find out all about it from him. 
 Not much satisfaction to be got there. 
 
 "How did it happen? Eh? An infer- 
 nally blackguard trick, was it ? Deserves 
 to be kicked ? What ? All right ; you 
 want to teach me my duty, I suppose? 
 Eh? Shall I tell you something? Eh? I 
 k720w it. 1 fancy I know the fellow who 
 gave me the job, too. I believe I've got 
 my eye on him. By God I do ! What?" 
 
 That the old boy had his eye on him to 
 some purpose Ave have already learnt. 
 
 " Well, you'll tell me the brute's name 
 when you spot him, won't you, old fel- 
 low?" and Cecil's face beamed with 
 delight at the very thought, of how he 
 would maul that brute after the doctor 
 should have spotted him. 
 
 " I'll tell you nothing," said the doc- 
 tor, sipping his claret, and not looking 
 altogether pleased with it. "The hfe of 
 a man who had wilfully hurt your chum, 
 the Nipper, wouldn't be worth a moment's 
 
 I 2
 
 116 Chums: 
 
 purchase if you could find him out. 
 What ? You will find him out, will you ? 
 Eh? I'll take good care you don't. 
 Government can't afford to provide ban- 
 dages for any more broken heads. What?'* 
 
 Cecil laughed, and said that he rather 
 thought he should find out. But the 
 old doctor was right ; Monkton only got 
 as far as a suspicion as to who was the 
 brute he was once so anxious, aye, blood- 
 thirsty, to spot. 
 
 At 9.30 the bugles sound the "as- 
 sembly," and the ship's company fall in 
 in their respective " divisions " for inspec- 
 tion. It being the day of rest, every 
 one comes up for inspection. Cooks and 
 stewards, butchers and bakers, and fellows 
 who spend their lives principally in store- 
 rooms or tanks, all come up once a week 
 to see the light of day, salute the captain, 
 and praise the Lord, having first " swept 
 and garnished " their store-room, tank, or 
 other hiding place.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 117 
 
 White frocks and trowsers, and white 
 straw hats, is a neat " rig " for the men, 
 and the bluejackets faUing in on each 
 side of the deck, with two companies of 
 marines also in "whites," look uncom- 
 monly well. The complement, all told, is 
 about 720 men. 
 
 The lieutenants inspect their '-divi- 
 sions," and then they and the captain of 
 marines report all correct to the com- 
 mander. 
 
 " First division," " 'Tention," "off hats!" 
 and the captain — followed by the com- 
 mander, lieutenant of division, senior 
 doctor and about half-a-dozen smaller fry 
 — passes along the first division of blue- 
 jackets, inspecting the men closely, and 
 constantly stopping to ask questions con- 
 cerning them. 
 
 On goes the procession ! The band is 
 playing on the poop now, so they have 
 some music to march to. On they go, 
 round the upper deck, passing the remain-
 
 118 Ch 
 
 urns : 
 
 ing " divisions ; " the stokers, and the 
 idlers — that is the carpenters, blacksmiths, 
 etc., who are working idlers ; the cooks, 
 stewards, etc. who are excused idlers — the 
 former working with the hands during the 
 day ; the latter keeping no watch and 
 doing no work on deck. Down dives the 
 procession into the decks below, where a 
 last spit and polish has just been given by 
 the " sweepers," who disappear up the 
 fore ladder as the captain comes down 
 the after one. 
 
 A quarter of an hour passes, during 
 which the men have remained standing at 
 ease on the upper deck, hearing the band 
 discourse — possibly sacred^ probably secidar 
 — music. Such midshipmen as have been 
 able to escape behind the boom boats 
 have been tossing for "drinks" at luncheon, 
 and most of the other officers have 
 gathered on the quarter deck, and are 
 engaged in chaffing " the boy," as the 
 subaltern of the E.M L.I. is nicknamed.
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 119 
 
 The procession emerges from the lower 
 regions, and the commander gives orders 
 to sound the disperse. " Sweeping and 
 garnishing," which has been going steadily 
 on since 5 a.m., is over ; now also we have 
 got through the great event of the day, 
 the captain's inspection. Write it in big 
 letters ! Nothing is left but Divine Service, 
 and to it we go with a sort of feeling that 
 we should have the evening prayers. 
 
 The men are dismissed, and the boat- 
 swain's mates pipe " rig church " on the 
 main deck. Eigging church, gentle but 
 ignorant shore-going reader, is accom- 
 plished as follows. Mess stools are brought 
 from the mess decks and ranged in rows 
 for the men to sit on ; chairs for the 
 officers. A pulpit, supplied by Govern- 
 ment and covered with a flag — letter "G" 
 flag, being " white with black crosses," 
 answers the purpose — is placed between 
 officers and men, generally facing the 
 latter ; a good arrangement, which per-
 
 120 Churns: 
 
 mits an officer to indulge in a nap with- 
 out the fear of hurting the parson's 
 feehngs. It is perhaps considered that the 
 tired out slumbering bluejackets do that 
 sufficiently. 
 
 The seaman schoolmaster, who acts as 
 clerk, organist and choir master, arrives 
 with the big Bible and Book of Common 
 Prayer, as supplied by the Admiralty, 
 and then superintends the placing of the 
 last and most necessary piece of church 
 furniture — the harmonium. Ship's cor- 
 porals serve out prayer and hymn-books, 
 and church is, so to speak, " rigged." Toll 
 the bell ! Aft come the Protestants ; no 
 shirking allowed. The Eoman Catholics 
 are fallen in forward, and one of their 
 number gives them a short service. 
 
 As soon as the ship's company and 
 officers are settled down, the admiral 
 enters, with his staff, and takes his seat. 
 Stop the bell. The schoolmaster plays a 
 voluntary, and the chaplain ascends the
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 121 
 
 one step leading to his pulpit, or reading 
 desk, or whatever you like to call the box 
 provided for him. 
 
 " Breathes there a man " who can sing 
 hymns like a bluejacket? Say, for in- 
 stance, a hymn like " Eternal Father, 
 strong to save," or, " Onward, Christian 
 soldiers ? " The fervent tones of a Sankey, 
 the trumpet notes of a Santley, are as 
 nothing to the enthusiasm and noise of the 
 British tar when he has a song he can 
 sing ; what he calls a " rousing fore-bitter " 
 to give tongue to. His quantity of genuine 
 religious feeling is not, as a rule, propor- 
 tionate to the quantity of row he makes, 
 though a pound of baccy finds more favour 
 in his eyes than a religious tract. I re- 
 member a Sunday morning service in a 
 harbour ship, I once belonged to. It was 
 a Communion Sunday, and that special 
 favourite of bluejackets, " My God and is 
 Thy table spread," was sung with the usual 
 amount of enthusiasm. After the sermon
 
 122 Churn 
 
 8 : 
 
 — they actually had a sermon on Com- 
 munion Sundays in that ship- — a lady, who 
 had come on board to church, expressed 
 her dehght at the very good feehng and 
 heartiness of the men. " It must be so 
 nice for your chaplain," she said, " to feel 
 that so many will respond to his call and 
 remain for the Sacrament." I believe I 
 sighed ; I know I answered not in words. 
 We waited, that lady and I, near the 
 captain's cabin, where the service was to 
 be held. The chaplain entered, one man 
 and two boys followed him sheepishly, and 
 the door closed upon all that remained of 
 that fervent congregation. I removed the 
 lady quickly, as she struggled with indig- 
 nant tears, and the remark which I under- 
 stood her to make as we hurriedly retired 
 was expressive of neither admiration or 
 delight. Ah, these women ! There's no 
 satisfying them. But to return to H.M. 
 Church, Thiinderbomh. Clarke was not 
 like the Methodist preacher, who, observing
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 123 
 
 several of his congregation asleep, cried in 
 a thrilling voice, " Fire ! Fire ! " " Where, 
 where ? " breathlessly demanded his n-ow 
 thoroughly aroused audience. " In the 
 place of torment," replied the diplomatic 
 leader of dissent. No ! Clarke had a 
 trick worth two of that. He never gave 
 them time to get fairly asleep ! It was a 
 simple plan and was bound to answer. 
 After a sermon of such short duration that 
 even the officers of the last night's middle 
 watch could not get beyond the " nod- 
 ding, " the service was over. The boat- 
 swain's mates " piped down," and church 
 was " unrigged." 
 
 " Come down and have a look at the 
 Nipper, Daintree," said Monkton, after the 
 flag lieutenant had seen his chief safely 
 back to his cabin. 
 
 "I shall be delighted; I promised to 
 have a ' split peg ' with the bishop, so 
 we'll take his cabin on our way." 
 
 His Eeverence had the materials handy
 
 124 Chun 
 
 IS : 
 
 — they generally were so — and was look- 
 ing very hot and thirsty. After a B. 
 and S. the three went on to the steerage. 
 Here they found the Nipper, looking very 
 pale from loss of blood, but lively ; a 
 crowd of youngsters, in neglige attire, 
 were squatted about on their chests, 
 around and underneath his hammock. 
 
 " Hulloh, Dicky, my boy ! holding a 
 levee ? " said Monkton. 
 
 " Bentley says he requires a short time 
 for quiet meditation before lunch, so he 
 has kicked all his youngsters down here," 
 said a young gentleman who was busy 
 marking new shirts, and had just taken 
 off the one " in wear," to register his name 
 upon it. 
 
 " Quiet meditation be bio wed," mut- 
 tered Cecil, but he didn't care to growl 
 much at the subs before the youngsters. 
 
 " I hope you are beginning to feel 
 pretty fit again, Ormby," said the chaplain, 
 kindly.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Nary. 125 
 
 "Fit as a fiddle, sir! Eight as a trivet. 
 We were just talking about Lisbon, sir. 
 Do you think there's any chance of our 
 running in there ? " 
 
 " Ah ! you're anxious to have a try at 
 roulette, I suppose. If we do call in 
 there, I think I must ask the doctor to 
 consider you too seedy to go on shore. 
 Bad place for youngsters," and the chaplain 
 laughed. 
 
 The youngsters laughed too. They 
 knew jolly well that their bishop was 
 much too good a sort to get anyone's 
 leave stopped, though many a time he 
 had stood them a dinner on shore, and 
 kept a kindly eye on them afterwards. 
 
 "Are you speaking of ' roulette,' " mur- 
 mured Daintree, so plaintively that even 
 our clothes marker — who was just apply- 
 ing a type to the tail of his shirt — looked 
 up in surprise. " Eoulette ! Ah ! be 
 warned in time, innocent, unwary ship- 
 mates. I have played roulette; I have
 
 126 Chums: 
 
 cursed roulette. Once I thought that 
 I understood the swindling game. With 
 immense pains and prodigious labour I 
 worked out — as I fondly believed — an 
 infallible scheme. It's failure — for mess- 
 mates, it failed — I put into verse, hoping 
 that it might prove of use to future 
 schemers. It runs like this : — 
 
 A GAMBLEE'S SAD STORY. 
 
 Come near and listen to my tale, 
 Hear a poor rook'd lieutenant's wail, 
 Who, not content to toss and bet, 
 AVoiild stake his money at roulette. 
 
 This poor lieutenant once did dwell 
 Within a ship ; I knew her well, 
 I knew him too, his heart was set 
 On making coin at roulette. 
 
 He had a grand, unfailing scheme, 
 A patent dodge by which 'twould seem 
 That — sure as duns come after debt — 
 You'd make your fortune at roulette. 
 
 He went, that poor misguided man. 
 He went to try his patent plan ; 
 His simple, easy way to get 
 A certain fortune at roulette. 
 
 Just twenty pounds, good English coins, 
 He changed for Crusades and testoons, 
 And, after he'd his whistle wet. 
 He sat him down to play roulette. 
 
 Eiches galore came rolling in 
 Whate'er he staked, 'twas sure to win, 
 " By Jove ! " cried he, " I never yet 
 Played such a grand game as roulette."
 
 ^4 Tale of the Queens Navy. 127 
 
 But soon a run commenced on " Ked ; " 
 " That can't last long," our -wise man said ! 
 ril double on the " Black " — they Ve met 
 A man who understands '' roulette." 
 
 You've heard 'mongst other horsey tales 
 One about doubling horse-shoe nails ; 
 So, without time to think or fret, 
 Our friend kept doubling at roulette. 
 
 Nine, te?i times running " Red " appears. 
 One double more ! Almost in tears 
 He stakes ! and prays that black as jet 
 May be the number at roulette. 
 
 A pause I Black looks I and too Avell we know 
 "What those looks mean — the number's 'Zero." 
 The table wins ! Vain is regret 1 
 A score of pounds thrown to roulette. 
 
 At 3 a.m. he goes afloat. 
 His messmates hare to pay his boat. 
 Two morals from this tale we get ; 
 Don't try to scheme ; don't play roulette. 
 
 " Yes, that's all very well," said 
 Monkton, as Daintree, quite worn out 
 with his tale of wrong, leant sadly 
 against Dicky's hammock. " Your advice 
 is excellent, but your ruined o-amblino- 
 friend was a fool. He appears to have 
 thrown up his original scheme — provided 
 he ever really had one — and simply gone 
 on doubling on one of the colours, 
 which as everyone knows is madness. A 
 long run against you is sure to come
 
 128 Chums: 
 
 sooner or later, and your doubles then 
 get so enormous that you're a bankrupt 
 in no time." 
 
 " Ah ! but he — or perhaps I had 
 better at once say /, for of course you 
 will have guessed that / was the victim, 
 the result of whose misplaced confidence 
 has just been confided to you in thril- 
 ling verse. Well, / had an unfailing 
 scheme. I forget the details now, but it 
 was a grand conception. That's where 
 the moral comes in. Futile is man's 
 greatest effort." Here Daintree grew 
 plaintive again, causing the hero of the 
 shirt-tails to once more pause in his 
 interesting labour, and listen attentively. 
 " Vain are our noblest devices. We 
 heap up riches on the roulette board, 
 knowing full well that the rascally 
 croupier will rake them in. We cast 
 our coin on a good green ground, yet 
 it brings forth nothing but I.O.U.'s and 
 general insolvency. My patent scheme.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 129 
 
 like most other fellow's, never came off: 
 T was tempted by Avliat seemed a cer- 
 tninty in donbling, and you know the 
 resnh. Debt and beggary, crhne and 
 jn^ison. Worse crimes, more prison, 
 hangman's knot, convict's death, and 
 
 blazes/' And the flag-lien ten ant 
 
 sighed and looked miserable. 
 
 " Well, we'll say no more about it. ' Eou- 
 lette ' seems to be one of your numerous 
 sore subjects. Touching the Portuguese 
 ladies now, whose land we are pass- 
 ing ; have you no poetry for them ? " 
 and Cecil bestowed a knowing wink upon 
 the chaplain. 
 
 " Gracious heavens ! Poetry ! But it 
 is no use, you scoundrel ; you won't get 
 a rise out of me. I know your tricky 
 little crames." 
 
 " No, no," said the chaplain ; "no 
 humbug. I really should be glad to 
 hear the opinion of such a well-known 
 connoisseur regarding the Lisbon ladies. 
 
 VOL. I. K
 
 130 Chums 
 
 I've never seen them, but suppose them 
 to be pretty and nice." 
 
 "Ah! The church! the church! 
 you're all the same. Bishop and curate ; 
 country parson and naval chaplain ; you 
 all feel a tender interest in the fair sex." 
 
 " That's all very .well ; but what do 
 you fellows think ? I say that the most 
 sporting of country parsons, as also tlie 
 most lawn-tennis playing of young and 
 much be-slippered curates, would be 
 obliged to confess that his feelings were 
 rough and liard compared to those of our 
 soft-hearted Francis. 
 
 A general laugh at Daintree's expense, 
 in which he was one of the first to join, 
 followed, and then the chaplain continued, 
 " But we are forgetting our subject. Now, 
 as regards the ladies of " 
 
 "At it again ! " interrupted Daintree, 
 bursting into song. " At it again, at it 
 again, you naughty old bishop ; you're at 
 
 it again."
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 131 
 
 Clarke submitted resignedly to the inter- 
 ruption, but would not drop the ladies. 
 
 " Well, Daintree," said he, '' satisfy my 
 — our curiosity. They are pretty and nice ? 
 Eh ? " 
 
 " Pretty ! nice ! " exclaimed Daintree, in 
 tones of intense pity. " Ye goddesses, hear 
 him ! Wrap me in flannel ; rock me to 
 sleep ; put me in my little cot ; rock me in 
 the cradle of the deep. Oh Lord ! They 
 may be nice. Yes, certainly, they may be 
 nice. I have had no opportunity of judg- 
 ing. Their peculiar style of beauty was 
 such that I had no desire to discover more 
 perfection at closer quarters. Up to about 
 fifteen or sixteen they look rather slim, 
 fetching little fiUies ; but after that, the 
 Deluge ; in the shape of fat, coarseness, and 
 moustaches. So much for their prettiness ! 
 They probably have some good points ; 
 or their husbands, who are good-looking 
 fellows enough, would hardly even j^^'^^i^nd 
 to be faithful. One must allow, for in- 
 
 K 2
 
 182 Chums 
 
 stance, that they can use their fans well, 
 almost as well as the Spanish women, 
 though for a different purpose. Portuguese 
 ladies use them to hide their ugly faces ; 
 Spanish ladies, to render yet more attrac- 
 tive their handsome ones. But just fancy 
 being tied for life to an ever-increasing 
 mass ! Why, cruelty and desertion would 
 be justifiable." 
 
 " Hear, hear ! " said Bentley, who now 
 joined the party with the rest of the 
 " quiet meditators." " It's quite refresh- 
 ing to find you justifying occasional 
 desertion of the fair sex. Feeling better, 
 Ormby? Considering your dangerous 
 wound, and the fuss you made about it, 
 I expected to find you pretty nearly a 
 corpse by this time." 
 
 " If I'd had my way there would have 
 been a deal more fuss made about it," 
 growled Cecil, hauling viciously at his 
 beard. 
 
 " Ha, ha ! There spoke the middies'
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 183 
 
 friend ; the middies* cliampiou," sneered 
 Bentley — but not too loudly — as he 
 turned away. 
 
 '• We must be off* to luncheon," said 
 the Parson, quickly. " Good-bye, Ormby ; 
 take care of yourself, boy." 
 
 So Sunday afternoon passed slowly by, 
 with plenty of novels, smoke, and sleep. 
 
 At 5 p.m. the chaplam held a short 
 service, attendance at which was volun- 
 tary and — scanty. And all who could 
 turned in early.
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 IpljipEN minutes to four, sir. Sliall I 
 
 ^K give you a light ? " 
 
 The midshipman of the 
 middle watch, looking tired but cheery 
 as the end of his night's work so nearly 
 approaches, proceeds to light Monkton's 
 candles, and to inform their gradually 
 awakening proprietor that there has been 
 a lot of rain lately, but that it has 
 nearly stopped now. 
 
 " Thank goodness," said Cecil, sitting 
 up to look anxiously through his port. 
 " I hope we are not going to have any 
 more of it. Looks uncommonly black 
 still. Eeminds me of James Pigg's reply 
 to old Jorrocks, when the latter asked 
 him at about 2 a.m., and after many
 
 A Tale of the Queen. "< Navy. 135 
 
 drinks, what sort of night it was ; and 
 Mr. Pigg, carefully putting his head into 
 the cupboard instead of out of tlie 
 window, expressed his opinion that it was 
 ' Hellish dark, and smells of cheese.' " 
 
 Out tumbles Cecil, and prepares to go 
 on deck at 4 o'clock to take charo;e of 
 the morning watch, and the midshipman 
 who has called him moves off to take a 
 tender interest in the movements of his 
 own relief. 
 
 It is Wednesday morning, and the Heet 
 is rolling home through the Bay of 
 Biscay, having steamed past the mouth 
 of the Tas^us without runnino- in for 
 Lisbon. The weather is still warm, and 
 tlie officers go on deck in the early 
 morning Avith bare feet, as water is being, 
 or about to be, dashed about in all 
 directions, cleaning ship. 
 
 " Gangway, there ! Look up, Jim," 
 says Jack, as an officer in pretty, pretty 
 shoes and socks comes picking his way
 
 136 Churns: 
 
 aloiia', tryintj: to o"et as little wet as 
 possible. Too late ! Round goes Jim, 
 over goes the bucket, and the patent 
 leathers have joined the old clo' majority, 
 gone to their last long account, still 
 un-holely, and — oh ! horrid thought — 
 unpaid for. And the moral of this little 
 digression is, " There's nothing like 
 leather," except '' Bare feet," to which 
 might be added, " Take care of the 
 leathers and socks, and the feet will take 
 care of themselves ; " also — but never 
 mind. 
 
 I did not go to my cabin, put the 
 slop-pail on the bed, and the solitary 
 chair outside the door, in order to have 
 room to open a drawer, and, after 
 making all these necessary arrangements, 
 take therefrom a slip of paper, merely 
 to jot down a few " new and moral " 
 headings for copy books. I say I had no 
 intention of doing this thing, and yet here 
 I am rushing into proverbs. Bear with
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 137 
 
 me, young ladies ; I apologise to you 
 especially. Do not be angry, but if your 
 feelings should prompt you to indulge in 
 strong language, pardon me if I remind 
 you of that wliolesome lesson you copied 
 out one hundred times yesterday by com- 
 mand of Miss Yellowly — •' I must not say 
 bother; it is a naughty word." 
 
 But to return to the wet decks. Oh, 
 no ; we have wandered awav from them 
 for so long that we may reasonably sup- 
 pose them to have had time to dry. To 
 return to the dry decks then. Blue- 
 jackets are now clustered about them 
 under the command of their petty 
 officers, cleaning Avood and bright work, 
 // la opening scene in ** H.M.S. Pinafore." 
 One feels — that is, one icoald feel if 
 '' Pinafore" had been invented — inclined to 
 greet them as Captain Corcoran does in his 
 now famous recitative, " My gallant crew, 
 good morning." But it won't do. This 
 is real life, this is. Picture to yourself
 
 138 Ch 
 
 iiims : 
 
 - — perhaps you have a vivid imagination 
 ■ — picture to yourself the intense astonish- 
 ment of the honest Thunderbombs. They 
 could hardly be more surprised to fmd 
 on running aloft to reef topsails that 
 " Lemonade and ginger-pop, stood handily 
 in every top," as in the gallant "Mantel- 
 piece." 
 
 " Now then, you Davis, I'll catch you 
 OQe behind the lug, if you don't get on 
 with that belayin pin a bit smarter," 
 said the captain of the main-top to a 
 boy who was nodding drowsily over his 
 special piece of bright work. 
 
 " I'm awfully hungry ; why can't they 
 give a feller a pint o' cocoa wen he turns, 
 out? What feller can work on a empty 
 stummick ? " grumbled an ordinary seaman, 
 standing near. 
 
 " The Queen's Eegulations would 'ardly 
 bear them out, I'm thinking," said a seaman 
 gunner ; " although, of course, it's at the 
 hoption of the captain."
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 139 
 
 "Hold your slack jor ; and you, boy, 
 collect the cleaning rags. They'll pipe to 
 breakfast in a minute or two ; it's pretty 
 nigh six bells. As for you darned seamen 
 gunners, or Sea Lawyers, as I calls yer, wot 
 with yer Queen's Eeg'lations and learned jor, 
 there arn't no manner o' use a' tryin' to get 
 in a word edgewise ! " and the captain of 
 the main top, a hard-palmed, horn-soled 
 tar, one of the olden time, looked with 
 unutterable contempt at the bluejackets of 
 the board and training ship '• school." 
 The latter gentlemen, however, merely 
 laughed, and a gunner's mate, who was 
 passing, didn't improve the Captain's temper 
 by remarking, " Hullo, Jim, they're a taking 
 you out for a walk again, are they ? " 
 
 "I see by last week's United Service 
 Gazette^' said Mr. Seaman Gunner Jenkins, 
 " that hadmirals and some captains will 
 very likely be allowed to have their women 
 folk to live with them aboard before long, 
 hke they did in the old days."
 
 140 Chums : 
 
 " You'll be wantin' your lady wife to 
 share yer home with yer next, I s'pose ? 
 If Lady Jenkins ain't no bigger nor 'er man, 
 one 'ammick won't be anything too small 
 for the pair of 'ee." 
 
 With which parting shot, the captain of 
 the main top walked off, followed by his 
 top-mates, and Jenkins might have been 
 heard to mutter, as the boatswain's mates 
 piped to breakfast, " I'll have my rights, 
 whether I live in an 'ammock or a hadmiral's 
 cabin." 
 
 We will not follow the men down to 
 the main deck, for, although a bluejacket 
 does not eat like a pig or a German, he 
 does not say much as he appeases his 
 hunger. 
 
 Talking of Germans feeding, I met a man 
 in Bombay a short time ago, who had been 
 in Strasbourg during the Siege, and had 
 also been through a great part of the 
 Franco-German war. His description of 
 German military officers' greediness — officers
 
 A Tale of the Queeri.^ Navy. 141 
 
 of high rank too — was startling. At Table 
 d' Hote they had no idea of allowing a lady 
 to be helped first. They would cut out the 
 centre of a chop or small \^ie and pass on 
 the remainder to their wives ; and after 
 polishing off half-a-dozen made dishes, each 
 of which represented a separate course, but 
 which only served them for a mouthful, 
 they would order an enormous bowl of 
 bread and milk, and look hungry enough to 
 commence their meal ao-ain. 
 
 Perhaps these were only the little eccen- 
 tricities of war time. I think— and mention 
 it with all humility — that a lot of West 
 Indian niggers squatted around a bowl of 
 " Banana squash " is a less objectionable 
 
 sort of feed. 
 
 ***** 
 
 " Oh, hang this practical navigation sheet ! 
 I say, sir, just add up these distances, 
 there's a good fellow. You don't seem to 
 have anything particular to do, and I can't 
 get the right latitude and longitude. The
 
 142 Ch 
 
 urns : 
 
 ship's position, according to me, is on the 
 top of Ushant Lighthouse." 
 
 " Your manner of speaking is not re- 
 spectful, Mr. Ormby. You will oblige me 
 to report you to the commander. Ever 
 since 10 o'clock you have been wasting 
 your time," and the naval instructor, a mild 
 little man just caught, and totally inex- 
 perienced in midshipmen, tried to come the 
 severe pedagogue, as he presided over the 
 young gentleman's studies, in the Admiral's 
 fore cabin. 
 
 " Mr. Barter," said a senior midshipman, 
 who, lolling in one of the Admiral's arm- 
 chairs, was reading a " yellow back," " will 
 you oblige me by being a trifle less noisy ; 
 I scarcely feel equal to noise of any 
 sort." 
 
 " The slightest row distracts my attention, 
 and renders me quite incapable of prose- 
 cuting my studies," chimed in another and 
 even more hairy-faced middy, who was 
 playing at " noughts and crosses" with an
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 143 
 
 acting sub, and cursing the service audibly 
 the while. 
 
 " Eeally, this is too much," broke out the 
 tormented Barter ; " I cannot allow myself 
 to " 
 
 " The commander wants Mr. Eavens- 
 worth, sir, and the officer of the watch 
 wishes Mr. Ormby and Mr. Hill to attend 
 the 11 o'clock watch drill." A ship's 
 corporal gives the message and retires. 
 
 " Hurrah ! No more ' x ' chasino- for me 
 to-day," said Eavensworth, as soon as his 
 next door neighbour had dug him sufficiently 
 hard in the ribs to arouse him from his 
 slumbers and make him understand that he 
 was wanted. '' I'm afraid," he continued, 
 with assumed concern, " that my business 
 with the commander will prevent my 
 returning to finish that ' Double altitude,' 
 sir. It's very annoying, most annoying ; 
 but duty calls, and I must away. Good- 
 bye, you fellows." And rolling carefully 
 against the arms of two youngsters, wha
 
 1 44 Chif/ni.^ : 
 
 really were hard at work at trigonometry, 
 and closing the Sing's work book enpa-^sant, 
 Mr. Eavensworth departed, to receive a 
 slanging from the commander for some 
 trifling neglect of duty, and then to retire 
 to the gun-room and do a quiet sleep for 
 the remainder of study time. 
 
 " Once for all, gentlemen," commenced 
 the naval instructor. 
 
 " Hee-ah ! hee-ah ! " said Dicky, who, 
 with Hill, was preparing to move off. 
 
 " Once for all, gentlemen," again began 
 Mr. Barter. 
 
 " Put one and one together, and we have 
 tioice for all," said the man with the yel- 
 low back : " now let us place two and two 
 together, and see what we obtain, sir. 
 Eeally your lecture promises to become 
 most interesting ; " and he sank deeper 
 into the arm chair. 
 
 " I'll stand this impertinence no longer," 
 and snatching up one of the captain's caps, 
 which an ingenuous youth had substituted
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 145 
 
 for his own, the naval instructor, boiling- 
 over with indignation, rushed out of the 
 cabin. 
 
 " I move that this academy be closed 
 for long vacation," said Dicky. " I'm afraid 
 we've rather overdone it this time. There'll 
 be a devil of a row, and we may as well 
 score one holiday. The reckoning on the 
 other side bids fair to be heavy." 
 
 Luckily for the young gentlemen, Monk- 
 ton was just coming up from the ward- 
 room as Barter left the cabin, and he saw 
 at once that that mild, much be-sat upon 
 man w^as on strike. 
 
 " Halloh, old boy I Where away ? 
 Stop a minute ; I'll race you ! " he said. 
 
 " Xo, no ; don't keep me ; I can't stop," 
 said Barter, trying to push his w^ay down 
 the ladder. " I can't stand it any longer," 
 he gasped. " They shall all be reported ! " 
 
 " Oh, don't do that. Listen to me. Let 
 tliis soothe your savage breast : 
 
 What fates impose, that man must needs abide, 
 It boots not to resist both wind and tide. 
 
 VOL. I. L
 
 146 Chums 
 
 " There, what do you think of that P 
 I don't quite agree with Edward lY.'s 
 sentiments as arranged by Shakespeare, 
 but then, see what a lot of trouble it 
 saves." 
 
 " I don't care ; they make a perfect fool 
 of me." 
 
 " Well, at any rate, put your own cap 
 on," cried Cecil, quoting softly, as the 
 irate little man tore himself away, " God 
 made him a fool ; let him take the place 
 of a fool. Those youns^ idiots have let 
 themselves in this time." 
 
 However, the short delay he had caused 
 did good service. A mallet had fallen — 
 possibly by accident, probably because one 
 of the men had thrown it — out of the 
 mizen top, suspiciously near the com- 
 mander's head as he walked the poop ! 
 and Barter, not finding him below, had just 
 returned to the upper deck when his voice 
 was heard shouting, "Clear the mizen top! 
 Where's the master-at-arms ? Ship's cor-
 
 .4 Tale of the Queens Navy. 147 
 
 poral ! Send them here. By God, I'll teach 
 them ! And, what do you want, sh' ? '*' he 
 said, turning fiercely on Barter, who had 
 been fool enough to approach him. " You 
 are a witness that the damned blackguards 
 are trying to murder me ? " 
 
 " Xo, sir ;" Barter edged away to the 
 very brink of the poop. " I was not on 
 deck until just this minute. I couldn't 
 swear to anything, sir." 
 
 "Wlio the devil wishes you to swear? 
 What do you want? Why, in the name 
 of all that's damnable, do you stand there 
 like the mummy of a rotten Capuchin friar? 
 I believe you're an accomplice of those 
 mizen top murderers I An accessory be- 
 fore the fact. By God I do!" And the 
 commander, looking like a demon, made 
 a grab at Barter's coat. 
 
 Without a sound, without a word, good, 
 bad or indifferent, the naval instructor 
 turned and fied, nor paused until his cabin 
 was reached, the door shut and barricaded. 
 
 L 2
 
 148 Chums 
 
 Then he sat him down, sighed faintly, and 
 spent the remainder of the day in concoct- 
 ing a letter of complaint to the captain. 
 He was a perfect whale at letter writing, 
 but his complaints never reached farther 
 than the commander, who told him not to 
 be a fool, and threw them overboard. 
 
 In the meantime, all the men who had 
 been working in the mizen top were fallen 
 in on the quarter-deck, and the commander 
 was trying hard to find out who had 
 dropped (P) the mallet. 
 
 No good. The men knew that the com- 
 mander guessed it had been done on 
 purpose, and that the culprit, if caught, 
 would be punished severely. Nothing 
 could be found out, and Scott had to con- 
 tent himself with stopping their leave for 
 a month for general carelessness. 
 
 " I thawt you said you could make sar- 
 tin' o 'itting him ! " said one of the men as 
 they rolled forv/ard. 
 
 '' Yes, so I did, dang it all. I thawt I
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 149 
 
 could. Thicky mallet 'ood a cawt 'un a 
 rare foine skat 'pon top o' the nut, th' owd 
 blay-gaird." Tregarth laughed aloud as he 
 spoke; too much aloud, for the commander 
 heard hnn, and, delighted to have some 
 one to come down upon, called after him 
 loudly, "Come back there — that man who 
 laughed. Master-at-arms, you heard him ! 
 Put him in irons for insubordination. You'll 
 laugh at me, will you, you miserable West 
 country chaw-bacon. I'll teach you ! Take 
 him below ! " 
 
 " Beg pardon, sir, yer honour. Ef you'd 
 koindly — " 
 
 " Take him below,'" shrieked Scott. ''Do 
 
 you hear me? Take him below. JD n 
 
 me, he's mutinous ! " 
 
 Tregarth was marched off, and Com- 
 mander Scott seemed happy again. A few 
 minutes later, Captain Le Hunte came out 
 of his cabin and joined the commander. 
 ''What's been the matter, Scott?" he asked. 
 
 " That insolent scoundrel, Tregarth, sir ;
 
 150 Chains: 
 
 lie gets more insubordinate every day. I 
 must ask you to deal with him to-morrow." 
 
 " Ah ! Tregarth was it ? I fancied he 
 was rather a willing, hard working man. 
 By the bye, Scott, the admiral and myself 
 ^v^ould be glad if you could carry out your 
 duty without the aid of such strong lan- 
 guage. It is quite unnecessary, and, j^ardon 
 me if I suggest to you, that as the men 
 are unable to retaliate, and very often 
 to even object, it looks like hitting a 
 man after he's down, letting rip a Avliole 
 broadside into a vessel after she's struck. 
 Scarcely seamanlike. Eh, Scott ? " The 
 captain laughed pleasantly, but the com- 
 mander was up in arms at once. 
 
 "Yery good, sir," said he, suddenly; 
 "very good; I am much obliged to you 
 and the admiral for teaching me my duty, 
 and for accusing me of cowardice, for that's 
 what you are doing." 
 
 "Quite sufficient. Captain Scott," said the 
 skipper, quietly. " It is tlie duty of botli
 
 A Tale of the Queen\s Navy. 151 
 
 the admiral and myself to see that you 
 do yours jDroperly. All executive officers 
 Avili attend on deck this afternoon be- 
 tween 1.30 and 3 o'clock. The admiral 
 intends to exercise the fleet at steam 
 tactics." 
 
 u Yeiy good, sir. Excuse me, it must be 
 near lunch-time ; " and the commander 
 went down to the w^ard-room, his temper 
 by no means improved by the captain's re 
 proof. 
 
 "Too late, I'm afraid, to do much good," 
 thought the latter ; " but it may have 
 some effect. I wouldn't have that man's 
 temper for — " 
 
 " 0}ie penny. I offer one penny for the 
 officer's thoughts. Any advance on one 
 penny. Come along sir, or I shall attack 
 the secretary. I am awfully peckish." 
 And Daintree's head disappeared, as it 
 had arisen, through the admiral's skylight. 
 "Why didn't you fellows begin? " said the 
 captain, as he entered the cabin and found
 
 152 Chums: 
 
 Blaxon, the secretary, and Daiiitree sitting 
 opposite each other, disconsolately. 
 
 "Well, we've had a slight argument 
 about saying grace," laughed Blaxon. " I'm 
 not much in favour of grace at any time, 
 and never even heard of it before luncheon. 
 However, as Daintree said he liked it, I 
 asked him to oblige accordhigly, and then 
 he discovered that his conscience wouldn't 
 allow him, as the mutton looked tough and 
 the beef tougher. Under these distressingly 
 religious circumstances we decided upon 
 waiting for either the admiral or yourself 
 to put in an appearance." 
 
 " What liumbugs you are," laughed the 
 skipper. '* It's evident that neither of you 
 are particularly hungry. Wiiat do you 
 think, admiral ? " ho continued, as Sir 
 Iiobert came in from one of his sleeping- 
 cabins. 
 
 '' I'm hungry enough, I know that ; I 
 always am at sea," replied the admiral. 
 " What day of the month is it, Bhxxon ? "
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 153 
 
 " The twentieth of August, sir." 
 
 " By Jove ! we may be paid off by the 
 1st of September, after all," exclaimed 
 Daintree. " Monkton and I are hoping to 
 have a shy at the partridges together, this 
 year." 
 
 "Twentieth of August, eh?" said Sir 
 Eobert musingly. " This very day, never 
 mind how many years ago, a curious thing 
 happened to me." 
 
 The others just looked up to show that 
 they were ready for the yarn which they 
 knew they were in for directly the admiral 
 asked the day of the month ; and Sir Eobert 
 required no further questioning. 
 
 "I was the lieutenant commanding the 
 Bruiser gun-boat," he said, " and at the 
 time I refer to we were on tlie West Coast 
 of Africa station, and lying off a small 
 village as far up the old Calabar as our 
 ships ever go. It was a Sunday afternoon, 
 and we had all slung our grass hammocks, 
 and made preparations for sleeping until
 
 154 Chums: 
 
 tiie lieat of the day was over. I was just 
 in the midst of a dreamkiiid rehearsal of a 
 meeting with one who — What are you 
 grinning at, Mr. Francis ? I was young 
 then. Xot young enough to get spoony on 
 a girl because she had a pretty face, nor 
 stupid enough to dote on her for anythimj ; 
 but still I was 3^oung, and could dream 
 spoony dreams. I thought then, witli 
 Christopher Sly, ' Let the world slip, we 
 shall ne'er be younger.' But, as I was 
 saying, I was dreaming of one who is now 
 my wife — some of us can be f^iithful even 
 as lieutenants, Mr. Jackanapes — Avhen I 
 became conscious of a violent shaking at 
 my hammock, and the boatswain, in much 
 excitement, blurted out, ' What's to be done 
 with 'er, sir ! She'll slip her cable alto- 
 gether if something ain't done quickly ! ' 
 ' Slip her cable,' said I, ' What do you 
 mean? Is she dragging, or what?' I 
 thought of course that the .^^Ite referred to 
 was the ship. ' Oh, I ain't allooding to the
 
 A Tale of the Queens Nacy. 153 
 
 old Bruiser, sir ; she's right enough — 
 only damned old — it's this here gal ! She 
 looks awful bad ; can't be older than my 
 Xan neither.' 'What girl? Whose girlP' 
 said I, springing cut. We didn't get many 
 female visitors up the old Calabar, and I 
 was in the o-ano-wav in half a minute. 
 There I found — leanino- ag;ainst the main 
 hatchway, naked and fainting, almost a 
 skeleton, and with feet and legs torn and 
 bleeding — a black girl, of certainly not 
 more than sixteen years — a most piteous 
 object. 'Have you sent for the doctor?' 
 asked I. ' Yes, sir, here he comes,' and 
 our doctor — poor old Donovan, wdio we 
 buried a couple of months afterwards at 
 Sierra Leone, as kind-hearted a fellow as 
 the fever ever carried off — came rushing 
 up. We had the girl taken down to my 
 spare sleeping cabin, and poor old Don 
 soon put her to rights. That evening I 
 sent to the vihage for a native, who, after 
 questioning her, gave us the following
 
 156 Chums: 
 
 story : About a fortnight before she liad 
 escaped from a village a couple of hundred 
 miles inland, and had travelled the whole 
 distance down on foot. She knew some- 
 thing of the old Calabar river, and had a 
 sort of vague notion that if she could once 
 reach it and get into a ship, she would be 
 safe. And now, what think you was the 
 cause of all this ? " 
 
 " Give it up," said Daintree ; " Avanted 
 change of air, maybe." 
 
 " Tired of her husband ? " suggested 
 Blaxon. 
 
 Sir Eobert continued with the faintest 
 smile, " you are both right ; she did want 
 change. I have no doubt she was tired 
 of her husband. The poor young woman 
 had been married about a year before to 
 one of the native chiefs, and something like 
 a week previous to her escape had given 
 birth to twins. Nothing so very strange in 
 that, Eh, Le HunteP" The captain was 
 the proud father of twin girls. " How-
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 157 
 
 ever, it was the custom then, very proba- 
 bly is so still, for our black brethren of 
 the Cameroons to consider that any woman 
 who bore twins was indebted to the arch 
 fiend himself for their production, and so 
 the unfortunate mother and her olive 
 branches " 
 
 " Call them tar brushes, sir ; please call 
 them tar brushes. We are olive branches," 
 murmured Daintree, plaintively. 
 
 " Very well ; tar brushes, if you like. 
 I wish you would not interrupt me. 
 Where was I ? Ah, yes ! The unfortunate 
 mother and her twin tar brushes were 
 always burnt to death. This wretched 
 young woman and her offspring were, of 
 course, condemned ; but the arch fiend 
 having on this occasion taken a fancy to a 
 Chiefs wife, extensive preparations were 
 necessary, and a couple of days before the 
 intended sacrifice, the principal victim 
 managed to escape, carrying with her her 
 boy. The other child had died shortly
 
 158 Chu 
 
 ms 
 
 after birth. Passing tliroiigli innumerable 
 perils, she had at length succeeded in 
 reaching the river ; but alone, for her baby 
 had wasted away, and died during the jour- 
 ney. We had great difficulty in persuading 
 her to eat and drink, and the poor girl 
 grew more melancholy daily. She believed 
 the Great Spirit would never forgive her 
 heinous crime ; for as such she looked upon 
 her escape. She evidently tliought it right 
 and proper that she should be sacrificed, 
 and personally would have been a willing 
 victim, but the mother's love for her first- 
 born had been too strong, and for the sake 
 of her little one she had, as she thought, 
 sinned. Now that the child, the cause of 
 her wickedness, (?) was dead, she seemed per- 
 fectly miserable and hopeless. Well, I must 
 hurry over the remainder ; there are some 
 things one must tell quickly. About ten 
 days after her arrival on board, we steamed 
 down the old Calabar, ' Homeward bound,' 
 a glorious night ; the water like a mill pond.
 
 A Tale cf the Queens Navy. 159 
 
 I was smoking a last cigar on the upper 
 deck, when I heard a splash astern. The 
 boatswain, who was standing right aft, sang 
 out, ' Man overboard,' and we had the 
 engines stopped and life-boat away in no 
 time. The boatswain went in the boat, and 
 I rushed down to the spare cabin, as I 
 feared the poor child, wife, mother, was 
 <Tone. The clothes w^e had mven her were 
 placed carefully on the bed. I then looked 
 in my cabin ; my dumb-bells, which should 
 have been on the dressing table, were no- 
 where to be seen, but in the place where 
 the}^ usually lay, I found her bracelets and 
 anklets, and upon the cabin bulk-heading 
 behind them was traced, probably by lier 
 finger nail, a rough representation of a 
 heart pierced by an assegai. She must 
 have tied the dumb-bells to herself to insure 
 sinking quickly, and then thrown herself 
 out of the stern port. The life-boat returned, 
 the men having seen nothing cf our pcor 
 little female passenger, and on we sailed for
 
 160 Churm: 
 
 'England, home, and beauty.' She was 
 black, and not too good-looking, but, God 
 knows, a woman more thoroughly forlorn, 
 more thoroughly deserving of one's com- 
 passion, never put an end to herself. 
 Her's is the only dusky one, amongst the 
 faces of all the old friends and companions 
 who have passed away, that I can still in 
 fancy recall." Sir Eobert ended thought- 
 fully and sadly. 
 
 "Well, it strikes me, sir, that you were 
 well rid of her," said Blaxon. " What on 
 earth could you have done with her?" 
 
 " 1 intended to get her some employment 
 at Cape Coast Castle." 
 
 " Where she'd have turned washerwoman, 
 become a converted black, and stolen her 
 unsuspecting white brothers' newest shirts. 
 I know them, and still think that you were 
 well rid of her." 
 
 " I am sorry that I cannot agree with 
 you," said the admiral, stiffly. Daintree 
 arose and went on deck, returning in a few
 
 ^'1 Tale of the Queen's Navy. 161 
 
 rainutes to report to the admiral that it 
 was one o'clock. 
 
 " Very well ; come, Le Hiinte," and Sir 
 Eobert and the captain went on the poop. 
 
 The commander, officer of the watch, 
 and staff commander were on the poop on 
 duty, and the remaining executive officers 
 were also assembled to witness the tactics. 
 
 The fleet was now formed in two columns 
 in line ahead, close order, and each ship 
 had sufficient steam to enable her to pro- 
 ceed at eight knots if necessary. 
 
 " Even money I name the first evolu- 
 tion," said Dare, who, with Spencer, 
 Monkton and Garton, was standing near 
 the chart house. 
 
 " That's a very sporting offer of yours," 
 said the Captain of Marines. "What do 
 you say, Cecil, shall we take him up ?" 
 
 " Yes ; I'm with you to the extent of one 
 day's pay." 
 
 "Well, we'll say an even sov. then, 
 Dare. Now, what do you name ? " 
 
 VOL. I. M
 
 162 Chums: 
 
 " I'll put my money on ' form columns of 
 divisions in line abreast.' " 
 
 The admiral and captain, who had been 
 talking together on the starboard side, were 
 now joined by the flag lieutenant, and after 
 a little more conversation, the latter turned 
 and gave an order to the chief signal- 
 man. In another minute up went the 
 signal flags for the first evolution, rolled up 
 and secured with a slip hitch, which could 
 be slipped directly the flags were hoisted 
 high enough. 
 
 " HuUoh ! What's that ? " said Spencer, 
 as the flags blew out clear. "Eh, Dare, 
 you've lost ; that certainly isn't ' divisions in 
 line abreast.' Each lieutenant consulted his 
 manual of flag evolutions to find the mean-' 
 ing of the flags, and it was found to be 
 " form columns of sub-divisions in line 
 abreast." 
 
 " Only a difference of three letters in the 
 reading of the signal, but a good deal of 
 difference in the evolution," said Cecil.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 163 
 
 "And a good deal of difference in the 
 coin," laughed Garton. 
 
 "We'll trouble you for one couter, Dare." 
 
 "Eight you are, Capting!" said Dare. 
 
 " And, Dare, we'll stand you a cheap 
 drink when we go below," laughed Cecil. 
 
 " Mr. Monkton ! " said the commander, 
 who hearing a laugh, immediately imagined 
 that it must be at him. "Ah, Mr. Monkton, 
 if it is absolutely necessary for you officers 
 to keep up an incessant conversation and 
 yells of laughter, perhaps you will kindly 
 go farther aft ; at any rate, as long as the 
 Fleet is being exercised." With a malicious 
 grin he turned away, and our friends 
 smiling at his petty spitefulness, walked to 
 the taffrail. 
 
 " It is possible for such big swells as 
 lieutenants to get sat upon occasionally," 
 sneered Bentley, loud enough for them to 
 hear, and to cause Monkton to utter a 
 distinct curse. " Who can expect us to 
 be respected by the youngsters when the 
 
 M 2
 
 164 Chums: 
 
 commander speaks to us like that before 
 everyone ? " said Dare, and the others 
 thought, "Ah ! who?" 
 
 Form " single column in line abreast," 
 " single column in line ahead," " column 
 or columns in quarter line," were the 
 manoeuvres which now followed rapidly, 
 and with the usual number of close shaves. 
 It is difficult for a landsman to reahze, 
 unless he has actually witnessed tliem 
 from a man-of-war engaged, the nerve, 
 skill, and quickness of eye and brain 
 required by officers conducting the move- 
 ments of the different ships during steam 
 tactics. In altering formation, these 
 enormous and often unwieldy ironclads 
 have to pass each other quite close, at a 
 speed of 15 or 16 knots an hour, taking 
 up certain positions at the same time. The 
 signals made and answered, the evolution is 
 at once commenced, and the distance, 
 steering qualities, and speed of the ship 
 herself, and also of her companions, have
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 1G5 
 
 to be considered by the officers in com- 
 mand, and his orders given without a 
 moment's delay. The shghtest irresolution 
 or loss of nerve, on making a necessarily 
 close shave, resulting almost certainly in a 
 collision. 
 
 " Ah ! I was expecting that," said Eue, 
 who, with Dicky Ormby, was standing on 
 the fore bridge. That means ' Fleet will 
 manoeuvre in groups.' " 
 
 "Why w^e haven't formed groups at all 
 this cruise," said the Nipper. " I have 
 rather a hazy notion of how it's done." 
 
 We will not follow the "groups " through 
 any of their intricate manoeuvres, neither 
 will we record the numerous signals made 
 from the flag ships to the different vessels 
 under their command to " keep station," 
 " observe bearings and distances," " close on 
 the admiral," &c., &c. It will be enough 
 for us to know that at three o'clock the 
 admiral made the fleet resume its original 
 r>ormation, and the last day of steam tactics
 
 166 Chums. 
 
 was over, for " Ushant " was a hundred 
 miles astern, and Spithead would be 
 reached by the Portsmouth Division to- 
 morrow (Thursday) morning. 
 
 At four o'clock the four Plymouth ships 
 were ordered to proceed to their own port, 
 and they accordingly steamed off, under 
 the command of Lord William Parker 
 in the Agincourt. 
 
 The Portsmouth ships were then formed 
 into two divisions, and, sticking to our old 
 shipmates in the Thunderbomb we will 
 keep on our course with them. 
 

 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 " For just one year we've been aAvay, 
 
 Or nigh. 
 I seemed to hear but yesterday 
 
 That sigh ; 
 As I to Portsmouth town did say, 
 
 Grood bye, 
 You nasty, dirty sea-port town, 
 
 Good bye. 
 Tears, copious tears, more monstrous fai 
 Than pearls, filled that partic'lar star. 
 
 My eye. 
 Like hot, salt rocks, those tears that fillea 
 
 My eye. 
 To Southsea pier, and skating rink. 
 
 And band. 
 To Southsea Common, where you sink 
 
 In sand, 
 The beach where Polly waved, I think, 
 
 Her hand, 
 If 'twas not Poll, 'twas Kate who waved 
 
 Her hand ; 
 To girls dressed in the last inventions. 
 To mothers who will your intentions 
 
 Demand, 
 You have not long to wait for that 
 
 Demand ; 
 To Portsmouth Hard and dockyard, too, 
 
 Ta, ta. 
 Burn Griffin's little notes in blue, 
 
 Ha, ha ! 
 Emanuel, Moses, Levi. Jew, 
 
 Ah ! bah ! 
 You sometime, late, and present Jew, 
 
 Ah! bah!
 
 168 Chums: 
 
 Then off to Gosport, hai'dest task, 
 
 Farewell to Maude, who lonjijs to ask 
 
 Mamma; 
 She hinted, would / like to ask 
 
 Mamma. 
 And now to all these scenes come Ijack, 
 
 Less rash ; 
 I'd best give Poll and Kate the sack, — 
 
 No cash. 
 Poor, flighty Maude has come, alack, \ 
 
 To smash ; 
 Yes, speaking mildly, she has come 
 
 To smash. 
 To stop on board were wisest, hut 
 It's nice on Southsea pier to cut 
 
 A dash ; 
 AVith Kate upon the pier to cut 
 
 A dash." 
 
 " Bravo, Daintree ! " said Dare, who had 
 been hstening amusedly to the flag 
 lieutenant's murmured verses. " That's 
 an odd piece of poetry of yours." 
 
 " Why, you don't mean to say that I 
 was composing aloud ? " said Daintree, in 
 the greatest apparent surprise. " Yes," 
 he continued, mournfully ; " it's an odd 
 poem ; my own peculiar style ; the result 
 of my own unsettled condition. I wish 
 I could make up my mind to keep clear 
 of society. It's all vanity and vexation. 
 Your morning watch, eh?"
 
 A Tale of the Queens Xavi/, 160 
 
 Dare nodded. It was his morning 
 watch, and " what are you doing up so 
 early, most erratic of flag lieutenants? 
 It's not seven o'clock yet." 
 
 " Couldn't sleep. The excitement of 
 returning to old England, of seeing once 
 more our native shores, the land of our 
 birth, was too much for me. I grew 
 restless, and came on deck to shake it 
 off by a good brisk walk." 
 
 "You awful humbug," said Dare; "why 
 I saw you, myself, slope languishly up 
 the hatchway, and go straight to the 
 poop rails, where you have been leaning 
 ever since." 
 
 "Is that so? Ah! well! I confess to 
 having altered my mind about the brisk 
 walk. Didn't feel up to it, you know, 
 after a sleepless night," murmured Dain- 
 tree. 
 
 " And as for your excited and rest- 
 less state of mind, it probably wouldn't 
 take long to alter that. Why, man, you
 
 170 Chums: 
 
 look about as excitable as an old Arab, 
 and as restless as a marble statue." Dain- 
 tree smiled deprecatingly, and muttered 
 in resigned tones ; 
 
 "Class 1. — Facetious ; " and Dare, after 
 an ineffectual attempt to make him walk 
 up and down, left him still endeavour- 
 ing to decide on giving up society, and 
 looking, as Dare afterwards said, about 
 as cheerful as a wet sparrow. 
 
 Still undecided, Daintree, after another 
 quarter of an hour's cogitation, went 
 below to finish dressing. 
 
 Sail had been made in the morninsf 
 watch, and the fleet was now rattling 
 along at nearly ten knots an hour, a 
 great speed for ironclads, towards Spit- 
 head. 
 
 At eight o'clock, Steele, the staff 
 commander, laid off the ship's position 
 on the chart, and found that they were 
 twenty-eight miles from the anchorage. 
 The admiral wished to get in and have
 
 A Tale of the Queeiis Navy. 171 
 
 the ships moored by half-past eleven, 
 and Steele considered that they should 
 be able to do that easily. 
 
 " Then we will shorten and furl sails 
 after ' Divisions,' and give ourselves 
 plenty of time to look shipshape when 
 we arrive. Will you see to that, 
 Le Hunte ? " said Sir Robert, who was as 
 gay as a sand-boy. 
 
 " Aye, aye, sir ! " said the captain', also 
 all smiles ; for the mother of the twins 
 was already at Portsmouth. 
 
 After the chaplain had read prayers. 
 Commander Scott ordered, " Pipe hands 
 shorten and furl sail." 
 
 The signal was made to the other 
 ships, and as the piercing pipes and 
 hoarse voices of the boatswain's mates 
 rang along the decks, the men rushed 
 to their stations without word or 
 noise of any sort. 
 
 "Midshipmen of the tops, aloft!" Up 
 scrambled all the youngsters who had
 
 172 Chums : 
 
 command of the diflerent tops ; Dicky 
 Ormby and Hill making for the main. 
 
 Precious quick they have to be, too, 
 for they have not run over many rat- 
 lines before, " Upper yard men, in the 
 tops ! " is ordered, and the upper yard men, 
 generally the smartest men in the ship, 
 come tearing up after them, and woe 
 betide the luckless middy who is unable 
 to run the rigging, for in about ten 
 seconds he will be caught up and trampled 
 upon by the bluejackets, who, of course, 
 stop for nobody. 
 
 " Masthead ! — Haul taut !" shouts the 
 commander ; " then shorten sail ! " Each 
 order being accompanied by the shrill 
 pipes. 
 ' Sails are lowered and clewed up. " Furl 
 sails! Way aloft!" and now all the re- 
 maining sail furlers move smartly up, and 
 the sails are furled, and yards squared. 
 
 " Smith, jump up on the royal yard," 
 said the Nipper, hailing a man from the
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 1 73 
 
 main top. "There's a dead man — {i.e. 
 rope's-end) — hanging down the port side ; 
 pick it up ! " 
 
 " Aye, aye, sir ! " said Smith, the lead- 
 ing hand on the cross-trees, as he ran up 
 the Jacob's ladder. 
 
 Another minute, and a peculiar rustle 
 is heard in the topmast rigging. Smith, 
 in jumping from the Jack to the foot- 
 rope of the royal yard, has lost his hold. 
 " Stand from under ! " yell several blue- 
 jackets on the topsail yard ; " Stand from 
 under ! " 
 
 Dicky looks up, hardly knowing what 
 to expect. The Tliunderbomb is his first 
 sea-going ship. He looks up and sees 
 what he at first takes to be a bundle 
 of clothes strike and then rebound from 
 the rigging just above him ; then a human 
 body — it is distinct enough now ! — with 
 outstretched arms and legs, tightly clenched 
 hands, and livid, deathlike face, passes 
 quickly by him, head downwards. He
 
 1 74 Chums 
 
 shrinks back close to the mast, ckitching 
 wildly at the rigging ; and then waits, 
 rooted to the spot ; feeling himself grow 
 pale as that wretched face, which he bare- 
 ly caught a glimpse of, but the awful 
 expression of which will be remembered 
 by him many a time as he climbs to 
 his station in the maintop ; waits, in the 
 sudden stillness which has followed that 
 well-known — " Stand from under ! " waits, 
 as all do who have heard it, for that next 
 too well-known sound — the sound of a 
 human body striking the deck ; the sound 
 that tells of sudden death, or, worse still, 
 of a fellow-creature's prolonged agony. 
 
 It is but a few seconds that he has 
 to wait, after all ; but a few seconds, 
 which might be minutes ! hours ! as he 
 shrinks still closer to the rigging, unable 
 to speak, unable even to think. 
 
 Eemember, this was his first experience 
 of bluejackets' many accidents ; often since 
 then he has heard the well-known cry,
 
 A Tale of the Queens Xavy. 175 
 
 has waited for the well-known sound ! 
 At Last it comes ! The strain is over, 
 his hands relax their clutch, his raouth 
 closes, his blood leaps warmly on again. 
 Some, perhaps many, have not felt it, 
 have not cared a rap, that the last few 
 seconds — and such seconds ! — have been 
 all the allowance made their shipmate to 
 prepare for and sail on his last long 
 cruise. 
 
 " That'll knock a few bones into his 
 stummick," said a leading seaman, with 
 a choice oath, as he stood looking care- 
 lessly over the edge of the maintop. 
 
 " Silence ! " gasped Dicky. '* How dare 
 you ! " He had not recovered sufficiently 
 to say more than that, but the captain, 
 of the top, our old friend, he of the older 
 school, catching the man a blow on the 
 side of the head which sent his cap flying 
 overboard, and nearly knocked the owner 
 after it, said, gruffly, with a half apologetic- 
 look at Dicky, " Darn ye ! ye long-gutted
 
 176 Ch 
 
 urns : 
 
 skunk ; I'll break every bone in your 
 carcass for ye ! " and an approving mur- 
 mur from the surrounding topmen showed 
 that they thoroughly appreciated their 
 gallant captain's feelings. 
 
 That leading seaman, the smartest man 
 aloft, in the ship, but thoroughly reckless 
 and — like many another bluejacket — caring 
 for neither God or man, has since then 
 met with the same fate as the unfortunate 
 Smith. 
 
 Smith's body — the poor fellow had died 
 immediately after reaching the deck ! — 
 was taken below, and orders were given 
 and work carried on as if nothing out 
 of the common had happened. Indeed, 
 nothing out of the common had happened. 
 
 The "Nab" light vessel had been 
 passed shortly after ten o'clock, and now 
 at a quarter to eleven, the fleet, "in single 
 column," was passing the " Warner." 
 Officers and men were looking out for 
 friends and relations in the yachts and
 
 A Tale of the Qiiee?is Xavy. 177 
 
 boats which had come out of the harbour 
 directly the fleet was reported in sight. 
 
 " By Jove ! there's the old governor ! " 
 said Monkton, as a large schooner yacht 
 passed close under the stern. 
 
 " And the Uncle and Yi ! " chimed in 
 the Xipper, as they both commenced 
 Avaving their caps, and w^ere quickly 
 answered from the yacht. 
 
 " Who is the old party with the eye- 
 glass, Ceeil ? " 
 
 " Oh, he's a conceited old boy ; a Colonel 
 Smith, of the 120th, one of the most mag- 
 nificently ugly men I know. I fancy the 
 governor and Master are staying with him." 
 
 " What's he got to be conceited about ? " 
 said the enquiring Nipper. 
 
 " Goodness knows ! Perhaps, because 
 his name's Smith, or because his mother's 
 name was Jones, or his wife's Eobinson. 
 Perhaps because he's five feet three inches 
 in his boots : possibly because he's Colonel 
 of a line regiment ! " 
 
 VOL. I. * N
 
 178 Chunu 
 
 " Don't be nasty, Cecil. I daresay he's 
 a good sort, or your people wouldn't be 
 staying with him. I suppose that's his 
 wife, that ancient old ' cup o' tea,' with 
 the sallow complexion. The 120th have 
 been a good long time in India, I'll bet 
 my life." 
 
 " Don't be nasty, you sarcastic little 
 wretch. I daresay she's young, and 
 pretty, and altogether charming, or your 
 people wouldn't be in a yacht with her, 
 you know," and Cecil laughed. But 
 Dicky wouldn't see the joke. 
 
 " There's Yi kissing her hand now," he 
 cried. " Kiss yours, or wave your hand- 
 kerchief, or do something, Cecil. I can't 
 put down my glass." 
 
 Cecil kissed his hand promptly. 
 
 The fleet proceeded, rather more slowly 
 now, towards Spithead, the schooner keep- 
 ing close on the Thunderhoml) s quarter. 
 By half-past eleven the ships had taken 
 up their respective billets, and were lying
 
 .4 Tale of the Queens Xavy. 179 
 
 quietly moored at Spithead. Then out 
 went the accommodation ladders, and all 
 the officers, whose people had come out 
 of the harbour, crowded to the gangways 
 to receive them. Cecil and Dicky were 
 well to the front, and the first to come 
 on board, followed closely by Mr. Monk- 
 ton, was Violet Ormby. She looked a 
 little confused as she stepped on the 
 upper deck and saw the small crowd 
 of officers, but it was only for a moment, 
 for the Nipper darted forward and caught 
 her round the waist. 
 
 " By Jove, eh ! " he cried, " who'd have 
 thought it ? Wliy, you've grown quite 
 a woman!" and he kissed her a dozen- 
 times, to the intense delight of the old 
 'Eal, who was watching the meeting from 
 the poop, his wife having gone to the 
 commander-in-chief's to wait for him 
 quietly. 
 
 " Nice bright-looking girl that, Dain- 
 tree. Good boy, young Ormby, too ; no
 
 180 Chums: 
 
 false sliame, no stupid nonsense or fear 
 of looking a fool about him. She's his 
 sister, I suppose ? " 
 
 " Yes, Sir Eobert," said Daintree. 
 "She's very nice too; very nice, but 
 awfully fond of chaff. I must go and 
 renew my acquaintance with her." 
 
 " Well, Cecil, glad to see you back and 
 looking so well," said Mr. Monkton, 
 shaking his son's hand, and eyeing him 
 j^roudly. "Your mother has such a 
 dread of the sea that — you understand. 
 And how are you getting on, Dicky ? " 
 he continued, turning to the Nipper, who 
 had just released Yi, giving lier a chance 
 of welcoming Cecil. " You have grown, 
 I think." 
 
 " Not much, sir, I'm afraid," said Dicky, 
 with a grin. " Ah ! there's the uncle at 
 last. How are you, uncle?" 
 
 " Not very bright, my boy," answered 
 a benevolent-looking man, with face and 
 figure prematurely old, who had just
 
 ^4 Tale of the Queens Xavy. 181 
 
 readied the top of the ladder, and was 
 now standing, leaning on his stick, and 
 looking done up after his steep climb. 
 " Not very bright, but we shall be right 
 enough now we have our boy home 
 again, shan't we, Vi? Tell him how 
 Ave've missed him ; tell him how we've 
 looked forward to this, Yi ; tell him " 
 
 But here Mr. Ormby broke down alto- 
 gether, and Violet, leaving Cecil, came 
 over and took his arm, and the three, 
 Mr. Ormby, his niece and nephew, walked 
 slowly aft. 
 
 " Come, come, dear,"' said Yi ; " this is 
 a poor welcome for our boy ; our man^ 
 I suppose he will want us to call him 
 now. Don't you wish you may get it, 
 Mr. Cheeky?" and she patted the old 
 man's hand, looking laughingly across at 
 the Nipper, who had his uncle's other 
 arm. 
 
 " Oh, you think yourself no end of a 
 swell now you tie your hair in a nob, and
 
 182 Chums: 
 
 wear a tail, but we know that she's only 
 a baby, don't we, uncle?" 
 
 " Now, no quarrelling, young people," 
 said Mr. Ormby, gaily, quite recovered 
 now, and looking with pride at his two 
 young supporters. 
 
 " You old darling," said Vi, giving 
 his arm an enormous squeeze ; " we 
 won't even shake our fists at each 
 other." 
 
 They were greatly alike, this brother 
 and sister. The same impertinent-look- 
 ing little face, with nothing particularly 
 noticeable about it, except its laughing 
 eyes and bright, happy expression. The 
 same cheery voice, the" same light build, 
 and quick, excited movements. 
 
 She, although only two minutes the 
 senior in age — an indisputable seniority 
 which she never allowed Dicky to forget 
 — had become almost a woman during 
 his year's absence, whilst he remained a 
 child — or little more — still.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 183 
 
 Yi Ormby was emphatically a dainty 
 little morsel, and so thought Daintree as 
 he came down the poop ladder to meet 
 her. A close-fitting dress of navy blue, 
 short enough to show her small feet and 
 ankles ; but not too short. Close enough 
 to show to advantage her compactly 
 moulded bosom, and to give an idea of 
 the fulness of her well-rounded hmbs ; 
 but not so close as to suggest that most 
 horrible of modern savageries, tight-lacing. 
 The sauciest of hats, the most suitable of 
 ribbons ; her full lips and short nose ; the 
 very irregularity of every feature serving 
 to complete the happy picture, and ren- 
 der it more attractive. Add to it a 
 sunburnt, healthy complexion, and what 
 more can I say to introduce to you the 
 dearest, j oiliest little girl that God ever 
 " laid the keel " of. 
 
 I loved once — in fact, I believe I love 
 still — two girls who would answer to the 
 above description. One is a near rela-
 
 184 Ch 
 
 ill Ills : 
 
 tion, the other — a chum of hers. But 
 forward. 
 
 " How are you, Mr. Damtree ? We 
 have not met smce you became flag-heu- 
 tenant. Let me congratulate you. Oh ! 
 I insist upon it!" Daintree held up his 
 hand beseechingly. " We think him taller 
 since his promotion to so great a dignity, 
 don't we, darling ? " 
 
 " Speak for yourself, Vi, speak for your- 
 self," said Mr. Ormby, shaking his head 
 amusedly. 
 
 "'No, please don't, Vi. I may call you 
 Vi still, may I not ? You are only sixteen, 
 you know, and haven't even ' come out ' 
 yet ; and as for the dignity of a flag- 
 lieutenant, why they did away with 
 the ' hauling down ' promotions six months 
 ago, and I was appointed too late to gain 
 anything. My usual luck. Please don't 
 say any more. Dicky, protect me ! " and 
 the little man tried to shelter himself 
 behind the still smaller Nipper.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Xavy. 185 
 
 " Shall we let him off, dear ? " Vi looked 
 pleadingly at her uncle. '* I don't think 
 he means to be dignified, and I'm sure 
 he will try to be good." 
 
 '* She's quite incorrigible, Mr. Daintree, 
 I assure you, sir ; quite incorrigible," said 
 the old man ; " she seems to grow wilder 
 every day." They were all half sitting, 
 half leaning, on the after hatchAvay noAv, 
 and he placed his hand caressingly on 
 Vi's shoulder as he continued, " She's quite 
 beyond me, sir, quite beyond me ; I must 
 send her away to a young ladies' finishing 
 school." 
 
 " You clear old thing. I won't have you 
 so mutinous ! Where should ' we ' be 
 without the head partner ? Fancy me at 
 a boarding school ! Wouldn't I make 
 the old cats — ahem ! Xow there's nothing 
 to grin at, Dicky, you impertinent boy ! 
 I could be awfully meek and good if I 
 liked." The peculiar tone of Daintree's 
 "yeth ? " would have let him in for a
 
 186 Chums: 
 
 warm five minutes had not Mr. Monkton 
 and Cecil now joined them, the former 
 saying, " I'm afraid the Ottorose Smiths 
 will be quite tired of waiting. Cecil says 
 he can come on shore with us until to- 
 morrow morning, and bring Dicky ; so 
 they will get into plain clothes at once." 
 
 " Well, come down to the ward-room 
 and sit down," said Daintree. 
 
 '* What do you say, Violet, shall we go 
 down ? " asked Mr. Monkton. 
 
 " No, thank you, not to-day," said Yi ; 
 adding, as she turned to her uncle, "We 
 must not climb any more ladders, must 
 we, dear ? They won't be long." 
 
 In ten minutes Monkton and the Nipper 
 appeared in the ordinary garb of the 
 citizen, and, leaving word for their port- 
 manteaus to be sent in during the after- 
 noon, they, together with Mr. Ormby and 
 Vi, and Mr. Monkton, joined the Ottorose 
 Smiths in their yacht, and sailed merrily 
 away for Southsea pier.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 187 
 
 " Are you a better sailor than you used 
 to be, Vi ? " asked that dreadful boy the 
 Nipper. " Do you remember how you 
 shrieked, and held on to Cecil, when we 
 went for a sail in the cutter, and about 
 two drops of spray came in over the 
 bows ? " 
 
 " Don't be so feeble, Dicky. How can 
 you say I held on to Cecil ; you know 
 he wouldn't let me. Oh ! you needn't 
 shake your head, Cecil ; I remember 
 you told me that you did not care to 
 be squeezed by anyone under sixteen. I 
 am nearly seventeen now " - she had arrived 
 at her sixteenth birthday last week — " so 
 beware of my pinches. Besides, Dicky," 
 she continued, indignantly, " it was blow- 
 ing quite a gale of wind and I don't 
 think that a certain little unfledged pocket 
 Nelson altogether enjoyed himself that 
 day." 
 
 '' Bosh ! " scornfully remarked the Nipper. 
 " All I know is that poor Cecil's arm w^as
 
 188 Chuiii.'< : 
 
 quite blue after it ; I can swear to that ; 
 and as for the roughness, it was blowing 
 a gentle soldier's wind, and there was 
 just the smallest possible lop on." 
 
 " What does our friend call a soldier's 
 wind?" asked Colonel Ottorose Smith, 
 rather grimly. 
 
 " A wind blowinef at rio^ht ancfles to 
 the place you sail to and from, so that it 
 is, of course, 'fair' both w^ays, and there- 
 fore very suitable to the boating soldiery. 
 Generally speaking, too, there's not very 
 much of it ; making it even more suitable 
 to the boating soldiery, sir." 
 
 The colonel's grim look did not relax 
 much at the Kipper's explanation, but he 
 contented himself by giving orders to 
 " Ease off the fore sheet ! Don't keep 
 her so much to windward," slioAving that 
 he, at any rate, was a soldier of boating 
 capabilities. 
 
 At length the pier was reached, and 
 with many injunctions from Yi to her
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 189 
 
 uncle, all given in her amusingly affec- 
 tionate way, to " Take care of yourself,, 
 darling! Now I must leave you just for 
 one minute ! What will you do without 
 me?" &c., &c., a landing was effected. 
 Mrs. Ottorose Smith and Yi drove off to 
 Nonpariel Villa, taking Mr. Ormby with 
 them, as Vi said that " Nothing could 
 induce her to leave her darling, with no 
 proper person to look after him," and 
 " as the gentlemen would not let her walk 
 home with them " — dissenting murmurs 
 from the gentlemen — " her pet must be 
 good, and drive with the ladies." The 
 colonel, Mr. Monkton, Cecil and Dicky 
 walked across the common, and they all 
 arrived at the villa together at about one 
 o'clock. Mrs. Monkton was lying on the 
 sofa when they entered the drawing-room ; 
 her maid sitting by her and bathing her 
 forehead with Eau de Cologne. She was 
 one of the little fragile women — " class 
 bric-a-brac " Daintree would have it — who-
 
 190 Ch 
 
 urns : 
 
 having been pretty when young, still crave 
 for admiration, and suffer for their late 
 hours and " the duty one owes to society " 
 as they prettily put it — by being constantly 
 prostrated by sick headaches and neuralgia ; 
 until at last they give up the fight ; throw 
 up the sponge — perhaps one should say 
 the powder puff/ — and take to religious 
 books and homoeopathy. This particular 
 specimen of the class, though vain and 
 conceited as a Persian, was kinder 
 hearted and less selfish than most of her 
 kind. Cecil was only her step-son ; his 
 mother having died about four years 
 after he was born. . However, Mr. Monk- 
 ton had shortly afterwards married his 
 present wife — then an engaging girl of 
 seventeen — and Cecil having been taught 
 as a child to call her mother, still kept 
 up the name, as it pleased his father. Mrs. 
 Monkton was now nearly forty, but looked 
 at least five years younger. She seemed 
 really pleased to see Cecil again, and as
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 191 
 
 he kissed her and placed his cool hand 
 caressingly on her burning forehead, en- 
 quiring tenderly if she felt better now, it 
 was easy to see that the tall athletic man 
 of seven-and-twenty made every allowance 
 for, perhaps almost admired the weak- 
 ness of, his conceited little step-mother. 
 
 She would not eat anything herself, 
 but sat in an arm-chair in the dining room 
 whilst the others had luncheon. Mr. 
 Monkton, in his quiet methodical way, 
 poured her out a glass of sherry and 
 handed it to her, but was far too calm 
 to worry himself as to whether she drank 
 it or not. She did drink it, and had 
 another. It is another characteristic of 
 the class to which she belonged — parti- 
 ality for stimulants. 
 
 " There seem to be more villas, semi- 
 detached and otherwise, in this same 
 Southsea than in any other town — or 
 village, as they call it — in existence," said 
 Monkton.
 
 192 Chums: 
 
 " And more naval and military officers, 
 on half-pay and otherwise, to occuj^y 
 them," chimed in the colonel ; evidently 
 considering the subject a personal grievance. 
 
 " What nice old fellows some of them 
 are! I think they ewe so jolly! much 
 better than the Hims, Ancient and Modern 
 of Bath." And Yi attacked her drum 
 stick vigorously, nodding her head encou- 
 ragingly to her uncle, who found eating 
 a much more difficult matter. She had 
 an appetite, had Miss Violet Ormby ; 
 no liver-wing-and-part-of-the-bosom sort of 
 play ; no toying with the breast of an 
 ortolan for her ! She was not ashamed 
 of her appetite either ; she did not think 
 it necessary, as some young ladies do, to 
 pose before their male friends as interest- 
 ing delicate creatures ; although in reality 
 only reserving their powers for the good 
 solid supper provided by their maids, and 
 awaiting them upstairs. No ! I write of 
 a sensible girl.
 
 .1 Tale of the Queens Xavi/. 193 
 
 " What is the programme for this after- 
 noon ? " said she. "I suppose voti will 
 not go out, Mrs. Monkton ? " 
 
 "Oh, no, dear! I shall lie down in my 
 
 room aiiain. Annette will read me to 
 I— 
 
 sleep." 
 
 " Would you like me to read to you ? " 
 This in fear and trembling. Mrs. Monkton 
 could scarcely repress a little shudder as 
 she said, "Xo, thank you, dear ; your voice 
 would make me too wakeful, I think. 
 Annette has just the right sort of low, 
 droning tone. Emily was talking of going 
 for a drive this afternoon ; you should o-o 
 with her." Emily was Mrs. Sniith — I beg 
 her pardon ! Mrs. Ottorose Smith — and 
 Mrs. Monkton's elder sister. 
 
 " Certainly, I should like to," said Vi. 
 " But perhaps Mrs. Ottorose 8mith will not 
 care to take charge of that wild boy of 
 mine ; for where I go, Dicky goes, on this 
 our first day together. Xow, don't look 
 cross, you ungracious child," she whispered 
 
 VOL. I. O
 
 194 Chums 
 
 to the Nipper ; " thank the lady, and look 
 pleasant ; you ought to be glad to sit in 
 an English carriage once more.'' 
 
 " 1 hate being driven about ; it's only fit 
 for girls," he muttered ; but Yi looked so 
 reproachfully at him that he added aloud, 
 with as good a grace as could be worked 
 up in the time, " I shall be very glad to 
 come if I may." Whereupon Yi hastened 
 to kiss him and call him the best of 
 boys ; bestowing a second salute upon Mr. 
 Ormby, as she declared amidst a general 
 laugh that " no one would believe how 
 jealous my old darling is." 
 
 "We will get ready then," said Mrs. 
 Ottorose Smith, sailing towards the door. 
 She was a ponderous woman. "What are 
 you gentlemen going to do ? " 
 
 " I must get through my writing, after 
 I've had a cigar," said the colonel, in his 
 strictest service tones ; and one would have 
 imagined, to hear that colonel's tones, that 
 if he did not consume that cigar, and
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 195 
 
 proceed to " get through "that " writmg " 
 with all possible despatch, a calamity, little 
 short of total annihilation, would befall 
 the whole British army. In my capacity 
 of tale- writer, I w^atched the colonel after 
 he had retired to " the colonel's study.'' 
 I watched him smoke a cigar ! I watched 
 him smoke another. I watched him smoke 
 one portion of a third, and I picked up 
 the other portion of that third from the 
 floor, as the colonel calmly slept, and the 
 British army rushed on to its impending 
 dissolution. I watched him calmly sleep 
 for two hours ; I watched him awake ! 
 Breathlessly, I watched him attach his 
 signature thus : T. W. Ottorose Smith, 
 to an all important document. I breathed 
 again. " For the future no non-commis- 
 sioned officer or private of the 120th 
 regiment would leave barracks without 
 white gloves," and so — the British army 
 was saved. But, whilst reaching this happy 
 consummation, we have left the non- 
 
 o2
 
 196 Chums: 
 
 saviours in the dining-room. To return ! 
 
 " And yoii, darling, must have your 
 little nap ; come over to the arm-chair," 
 and Vi walked her uncle off in triumph, 
 and made him comfortable. 
 
 " Come, Cecil, we'll have our cigars on 
 the sea wall ! " said Mr. Monkton. 
 
 " With pleasure, sir," and the party 
 broke up until dinner time. When they 
 met a.Qfain all the talk was of the cruise 
 and the more public events of the past 
 year, and, of course, Cecil's little actress 
 and the child came under discussion. 
 
 At about eleven o'clock Cecil and Dicky 
 started off for the Pier Hotel, where they 
 were putting up for the night, Vi whisper- 
 ing to Cecil, as he said good-bye, " I'm 
 sure you are desperately in love with Mar}^ 
 I^awrence, and if you are not you ought 
 to be, for I'm certain she's a darling." 
 
 " Every one seems to rank as a dar- 
 ling in your estimation, young woman. 
 We don't all fail in love so easily."
 
 ^4 Tale of the Queens Aavi/. 197 
 
 " You are not a darling, sir ! I hate 
 you. I'll never speak to you again." 
 Cecil laughed, pretending to look fright- 
 ened, but he felt a little uneasy after he 
 had turned in at " The Pier ; " not at Yi's 
 hating him, that was a very ancient, oft- 
 recurring threat, but at her coupling his 
 name with that of Mary Lawrence. 
 
 " No, it's all liumbug ! I'm not in love ! 
 I should like to know thouc^h what a 
 fellow really doe''^ feel like when he's in 
 for the desperate passion ; the whole in- 
 tense hog ; I certainly liked talking to 
 Mary, but as for feeUng the walking 
 on air, delicious enchantment sort of 
 business, and going through all the other 
 ' not of this world ' sensations that the 
 fond lover is supposed to experience, 
 that I as certainly do not, No ! I'm not 
 in love, or if I am I'm a deuced short 
 distance in. She's a good little girl, though, 
 for an actress, and her father ! Well, 
 her father's a but, perhaps, I'd better
 
 198 CImms. 
 
 not worry myself about him. I might 
 dream of the old villain, confound him ! 
 Fancy that little wretch Vi daring to 
 chaff, actually daring to chaff about my 
 Gibraltar friends. What a child she was 
 when we left ! The little woman has 
 improved wonderfully in looks, and — 
 and — " Here Cecil's thoughts ended, as 
 thoughts generally do, in a comfortable 
 bed, and it is hardly to be wondered 
 at that the last person of whom he 
 thought when awake was the only one 
 who appeared in his dreams.
 
 CHAPTEE IX. 
 
 ^jpHE good old "Blue Posts" has 
 pj^^ passed away, but in the days of 
 which I write there was still a 
 ''Keppel's Head," or "Xut," as it was 
 appropriately nick-named. Alas! that 
 also has passed away, at any rate, as 
 far as naval officers are concerned. Our 
 sea friends now rendezvous at " Towns- 
 end's " which is situated conveniently 
 close to the dockyard gates, and w^hich, 
 though not possessing an attractive ex- 
 terior, is comfortable internally, if you 
 only have sufficient resolution to get 
 through the narrow passage, and find 
 your way upstairs to the coffee, smok- 
 ing, or billiard rooms. TVare Bar on 
 the right hand side as you pass, for
 
 2()() Chu 
 
 ins 
 
 the drinks are good and tempting, and 
 "mine fat Host" and lean Hostess smile 
 on our 2^otations. 
 
 However, "Townsend's" in those days 
 was not ; or, if it was, not even Towns- 
 end himself knew it, and it is with the 
 "Nut" that we have to do. A busy time 
 its proprietor, old George Chirk, was 
 having, when the Portsmouth division of 
 the Channel fleet was at home. The 
 "Nut" was then in full swing, and as 
 the "Nut" .was then, so is "Towns- 
 end's " now ; so I imagine was the " Blue 
 Posts " of ancient sailing days' notoriety. 
 
 To the " Nut " then, with its dirty 
 little smoking-room, clouded with fumes 
 arising from baccies of every description; 
 curling upwards from the short black 
 Irish clay bowl, full of strong ship's 
 baccy, as wx41 as from the best of 
 Havannahs and Manillas and cigars of 
 India and China, which the wily mariner 
 has contrived to bring home free of duty.
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Xavy. 201 
 
 The ''Xut," Avith its stuffy little coffee- 
 room, at some hours full of hungry naval 
 men; at all hours dusty and dirty- 
 windowed ; but where you could get as 
 good a chop, and a far better sole than 
 in any hotel for miles around. The "Nut," 
 with its ancient retainer, " Sarah," to 
 intimates, Sally ; its often-cursed-at boy, 
 "Cupid;" its general factotum, William — 
 good old boss-eyed William ! Ah ! the 
 good old days ! the good old sea-dogs 
 who rounded the Horn in 1832 and lived 
 on ship's biscuits with weavils for a treat. 
 But the service, we know, has gone to the 
 devil ; or, do they say, is going. The 
 glory has departed out of Israel, or is de- 
 parting. We have no boss-eyed William 
 at " Townsend's ; " Sallies are plentiful 
 certainly, but not half so ancient, and 
 the cupids are becoming too respectable 
 altogether. 
 
 The Tliunderbomb and Hercides have 
 both come up harbour to "pay off;" the
 
 202 Ch 
 
 nuns : 
 
 former to-morrow (Saturday), the latter on 
 Monday. Ever since their arrival last 
 Thursday week, these two ships have been 
 lashed alongside the jetty. The "Nut" 
 has been crowded, the smoke denser, the 
 soles and the dust more plentiful than 
 ever. Seven a.m. at the " Nut." The 
 youngsters begin to move, having to be 
 on board their ships, either at Spithead 
 or in the Eoyal Dockyard, by eight 
 o'clock. 
 
 "Sarah! Cupid! Sally! Somebody! Any- 
 body ! There's not a single towel here." 
 The voice, in gradually increasing shrillness, 
 proceeded from the bath-room, and ^vas 
 quickly followed by its dripping and 
 indignant owner. " Now look here, Mary ! 
 — I — " The assistant chambermaid, who 
 was vigorously dusting the stairs, did look 
 and fled, closely pursued and soon over- 
 taken by the slippers of the bather. The 
 dripping Nipper — for he it w^as — proceeded 
 upstairs, liaving first carefully hidden the
 
 .4 Tale of the Qiieens Xanj. 203 
 
 dust pan ; and a rush of half a dozen 
 fellows, anxious for a tub, followed his 
 return to his double bedded room. Its 
 other occupant was nearly dressed when 
 Dicky entered. 
 
 " I don't believe that lazy beggar of a 
 Slug is up yet," said he. " Let's go and 
 diij him out." 
 
 The Xipper was nothing loathe, and they 
 noiselessly sallied forth. Several rooms 
 had to be passed before they reached the 
 Slug's, and from them some half-dozen 
 recruits were picked up. On entering his, 
 they found him gracefully reclining on his 
 bed. Without pausing to admire his 
 attitude of sweet repose, the members of 
 the party ranged themselves on either side 
 of the bed, and at a sign from the Nipper, 
 the blankets were rolled rapidly around 
 him, and his body raised aloft. A few 
 struofgles and muffled sounds from the 
 " body," and a noisy altercation amongst 
 the bearers as to their next move, and then
 
 204 Cliu 
 
 ins : 
 
 the latter marched towards the stairs, fol- 
 lowed at a short distance by some subs and 
 senior midshipmen, Avho had tumbled out 
 to see the fun. 
 
 Slowly the procession moved down- 
 stairs ; a slieet thrown over the body, an 
 occasional, quickly suppressed kick, the 
 only sign of life underneath. 
 
 " Lord a' mercy on us, if it ain't dead ! 
 Help ! murder ! " shrieked Mary, as they 
 came in sight. "Here Sarah! Sarah!" 
 and away she ran to the kitchen. 
 
 " Oh Lor! it give me such a turn." She 
 sank into a chair, pressing her hand upon 
 her voluminous bust. 
 
 "What's the matter, ye great gabyP 
 What give ye a turn ? *' snapped out 
 Sarah. " jN'ow it ain't no manner o' use 
 fain tin'." Mary acquired a more upright 
 position. " No, nor going into 'stericks ! " 
 Mary stilled the convulsive twitcliing of 
 her rosy lips, and pouted indignantly. 
 "Do you hear?" continued Sarah, ap-
 
 ^4 Tale of the Queens Xavy. 205 
 
 proacluDg the maid ^vitli an ominous frown, 
 sii2f2festive of a " aood shakino- " o-atherins^ 
 upon her not too feminine brow. " What 
 give you a turn? The young gents a trying 
 on their games behke? " 
 
 ''Hell never try his games no more, poor 
 dear," sobbed Mar}'. " He's a' cut off in 
 the bloom of 'is youth ; and I — I — Sarah, 
 could you I — could you draw a small half 
 ])int ! — ah I — I never see so ghastly a 
 face ! He'll make an 'evingly corpse, with 
 'is wild starin' eyes ! the vivid 'ue of 'is 
 pale cheeks, and 'is — " 
 
 " Who in the world's the gal talking on ? 
 We don't want any of your Family 'Era Id 
 sensations here, and so I tell you, young- 
 woman. Bless us ! W^hat's this ? " 
 
 The procession having reached the foot 
 of the stairs, now slowly and mournfully 
 approached. 
 
 " What is it ? ^^Tio is it P Mr. Hormsby, 
 which of the 3'oung oriicers is it? Dear 
 heart alive ! Who is it ? "
 
 206 Chums : 
 
 " Hush, Sarah ! Hush ! " replied the 
 Nipper ; the eclioing " 'sh " being taken 
 up feeUngly by the other mourners, not- 
 withstanding their severe exertions to force 
 the Slug's legs and arms to preserve the 
 necessary corpse-like stiffness. 
 
 " But, body o' me, young gents, is he 
 dead ? Lay him down gently, do. Poor 
 dear ! To think that one of my young gents 
 should a' come to this." Almost crying, 
 the good old creature turned fiercely 
 upon the tender hearted chamber maid. 
 "Mary, you blubbering, great gauk, help 
 the young gents, can't you ! Oh lor ! and 
 in my kitchen, too ! Poor dear young man ! 
 Poo-oo-r de-ee-ar ! " 
 
 Irrepressible choking sounds were now 
 distinctly audible, proceeding from the 
 funeral party ; and, with such an example 
 before them, it behoved Sarah and Mary to 
 become demonstrative. Hysterical sobs 
 resounded through the culinary depart- 
 ment ; Mary indulging occasionally in the
 
 ^4 Tale of the Queens Navy. 207 
 
 " heart-rending, piercing shriek," which 
 she learnt from The London Reader was 
 indispensable ; and another spectator soon 
 appeared upon the scene, in the shape of 
 " William." Whether his crooked eye had 
 enabled him to see round the corner, before 
 entering, and so to spot a mischievous look 
 upon some of the " mourners' " faces ; 
 whether their supernaturally solemn coun- 
 tenances, after his entrance, aroused hi& 
 suspicions — and a long acquaintance with 
 middies and their artless tricks had made 
 him a confirmed suspector — or whether 
 the half suffocated and rigidly-held Slug- 
 succeeded, at that moment, in getting room 
 enough to give a palpable kick, remains 
 unknown. Certain it is, that that most, 
 astute of head waiters " William of the- 
 Nut," after shaking off the sobbing Mary — 
 who saw her chance directly he entered,, 
 and " threw herself wildly into his arms,"" 
 a la Family Herald heroine — walked 
 straight to the " evingly corpse," and the
 
 208 Chu 
 
 Ills : 
 
 youngsters, seeing the game was up, with 
 one consent threw the sheet over the heads 
 of the wailing females, and fled, Wilham 
 expressing it as his opinion that they young 
 gents was reg'lar spirited, ones, and he hked 
 to see it, proceeded to unroll the Slug, and 
 assist him to sit up, breathless and panting. 
 
 " Aren't ye ashamed o' yourself, Mr. 
 Barnaby, frightenin' a body out o' her 
 wits ? Answer me that, sir," said Sarah. 
 
 " Yes ; and when two lone females is 
 bemoanin' your sad fate, you comes to 
 life again, a' purpose to spite 'em. It's 
 shameful, sir! It's-- it's — onfeelin,' and — 
 and onthankful," sobbed Mary, continuing, 
 hysterically, " Leave us, perfidious Ilal- 
 bion ! Be still, my bus tin' 'eart ! Be still ! " 
 
 "Don't be a fool, Mary, and do 'old 
 yourself up," said Sarah, violently shaking 
 her subordinate, and thereby overcoming 
 a decided tendency on the part of the 
 latter to encircle the late body, the now 
 astounded Slug, with her maiden arms.
 
 A Tale of the Queei-i^ Xacy. 209 
 
 " And, perhaps, sir," she continued, to 
 that wretched victim, "now that you are 
 quite satisfied, you'll leave my kitchen, 
 or — ." The rest of the sentence was lost 
 amongst a long row of cloths, from which 
 Sarah proceeded to select a particularly 
 dirt}' one. 
 
 '• But what have I done ? " helplessly 
 enquired poor Barnaby from amongst his 
 blankets. " It's too bad ! You're always 
 at me ! " 
 
 " What 'ave you done, sir ? " demanded 
 Sarah. "What 'ave you done, sir!" 
 shrieked Sarah! "What 'avent you done, 
 you mean, young gentleman ! But I'll 
 'ave no more of it," she continued, waxing 
 furiously wrathful. " You'll sham dead, 
 will you, Mr. Barnaby ? " — more ominous 
 preparations with the dish cloth — " you'll 
 hact green, will you, Mr. Barnaby? — 
 Now then, are you a'going to leave my 
 kitchen, sir ? " 
 
 " But, Sarah ! " said the blushing and 
 
 VOL. I. P
 
 210 Chums: 
 
 romantic maiden, " surely you wouldn't 
 'ave him leave with only 'is night — that 
 is per'aps he has almost nothing — I mean 
 he may be nearly — Oh ! I don't know 
 what I mean ! — undressed ! " and she hid 
 her red face with her redder hands. 
 
 " Hoity, toity ; Miss Mock Modesty ! 
 I don't know what's right and proper, 
 don't I ? Then p'raps you'll carry him 
 upstairs, blankets and all. Mr. William 
 will 'elp you, I dessay ; he ain't much of 
 a ornament to the kitchen a' grinnin' 
 there ! " 
 
 " Come along, Mary. Now, sir, are you 
 ready ? " laughed William. 
 
 " No, I'm not," yelled the almost re- 
 covered Slug. " I've been carried about 
 enough, and abused enough for one day, 
 all for nothing, and I won't stand it ! " 
 And leaving his blankets behind him, 
 with night coat-tails flying in the breeze, 
 he bolted for the door as rapidly as did 
 the man of Egyptian notoriety; Mary
 
 A Tale of the Queens Xari/. 211 
 
 shriekinof and avertino- her shocked face 
 after he had disappeared. 
 
 Most perfect, even childish innocence 
 met his stormy indignation upstairs, and 
 he was fain to hurry on sulkily with 
 his dressing, and to follow his late tor- 
 mentors to the Eoyal Dockyard. 
 
 The Thunclerhomb was to pay off " all 
 standing," so the officers were able 
 to live comfortably on board until the 
 very last day of the commission. 
 
 "Monkton and I are going to have our 
 people on board to afternoon tea, to-day," 
 said Dicky. "Give the butter a fair wind, 
 Slug ! Will some of you fellows come 
 and help to entertain them ? " 
 
 " Where are you going to give them 
 tea?" asked Bentley, who, much to the 
 Nipper's disgust, came down from deck 
 just in time to hear his question. 
 
 " In the ward-room, I think ; will you 
 come ? " Dicky did not look eager to 
 have his invitation accepted. 
 
 p2
 
 212 Chums: 
 
 " Don't know ; perhaps I will. Is that 
 pretty little chum of yours — the girl 
 you kissed — coming ? " 
 
 " My sister is coming, certainly," replied 
 the Nipper. 
 
 "I don't care a d whether she's 
 
 your sister or not ; you'll bring her 
 down to the gun-room." 
 
 " Of course we shall look round the 
 ship, and most likely come in here ; but 
 "we shan't stop long." 
 
 " Oh, you won't stop long ! Now look 
 here, Mr. Eichard Ormby, you'll just 
 bring her down here, and get her to stop 
 until you see I'm tired of her, d'ye see ? " 
 
 " Shut up, Bentley," said Rice, angrily. 
 " Don't you hear she's his sister. You 
 talk like a brute ! " Bentley glared 
 around, but it was near the end of the 
 commission, and fellows murmured ap- 
 proval, and calmly ate their breakfast. 
 "All right," he said, viciously to Eice ; 
 " you needn't make a song about it. We
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 213 
 
 can't all express ourselves as well as you 
 do. Xot all of us are eligible to become 
 members of the ' Young Men's Christian 
 Crumpet Society.' But I see nothing so 
 particularly disrespectful to Miss Ormby 
 in wishing to show her my photos ! " 
 
 " I'm sure she will be very glad to see 
 them," said Dicky, hastily, anxious to 
 smooth down Bentley, and prevent a row. 
 " Last day but one ; take it all in fun," 
 he continued, cheerily. And the unfor- 
 tunate Slug received a carefully rolled pel- 
 let of bread well in the eye. 
 
 " Steward, put Mr. Ormby down for a 
 shilling fine for chucking bread about," 
 said Eice, as the Nipper disappeared through 
 the door, pursued by Barnaby, who wildly 
 brandished a dirk scabbard — which he had 
 drasfo-ed down from between the beams — 
 and glared ferociously with his o?2e ser- 
 viceable eye. The chase soon ended, as 
 hundreds had before, when the Slug had 
 performed the pait of "hound," he being
 
 214 Ch 
 
 turns : 
 
 tripped up by the very first member of 
 the mess that tliey came across. 
 
 Poor Barnaby ! He was a good natured, 
 honest fool. Too good-natured and too 
 great a fool to escape becommg the butt 
 of any mess he joined, but still, not quite 
 such a fool as he looked, or as his mess- 
 mates thought him. 
 
 At 4 o'clock Cecil and the Nipper were 
 ready to receive their guests. 
 
 "Let's go out to the gates, Dicky, and 
 then we can all walk in together. Driving 
 over those infernal dockyard paving rocks 
 is the very deuce ; or perhaps it w^ould be 
 better if you went to bring them down 
 whilst I wait to receive them on board." 
 Cunning, lazy, Cecil ! 
 
 "All right ! I'll do escort, or chaperone, 
 or whatever you call it." And the Nipper 
 started off, swelling with importance. He 
 arrived at the gates just as their guar- 
 dians — stolid, dignified bobbies of the me- 
 tropolis — were condescending to slowly
 
 .4 Tale of the Queens Navy. 215 
 
 throw them open for the Ottorose Smiths' 
 carriage to pass through. 
 
 Mrs. Ottorose, Mrs. Moiikton, and two oi 
 their young friends were in the carriage. 
 Female friends they were, natives of South- 
 sea ; Blanche and Margaret Button, known 
 amongst the males of their particular clique 
 as "frills" and "cuffs," and rather proud of 
 being so known. 
 
 " There's Dicky ! " said Margaret, as the 
 coachman pulled up. 
 
 "Come along! Jump in ! There's plenty 
 of room for a small one between Blanche 
 and me." 
 
 " No, thank you ! " said the Nipper ; " tlie 
 small one doesn't care to be squeezed any 
 smaller, however nicely it may be done. 
 I've come to tell you all, that you must 
 please get out and walk." Mrs. Monkton 
 sighed. 
 
 "Well I, for one, am very glad to obey 
 orders," said Blanche ; or, to be intimate, 
 "Frills;" adding, as they all alighted, "I
 
 216 Chums: 
 
 suppose we must allow the infant Dicky 
 to be the 'Boss' " — shocked looks from 
 chaperones — " to-day." 
 
 Monkton, Daintree, and several other fel- 
 lows, principally admirers of the articles 
 of female apparel already mentioned, were 
 waiting for them on the quarter-deck. 
 After that shc^rt comedietta, known as 
 "pretty feminine nervousness," or, "the dear 
 creatures' special little game" had been per- 
 formed, the Misses Dutton, once more 
 sustaining, with great success, the leading 
 characters, the whole party, now increased 
 by Mr. Monkton, Colonel Ottorose Smith, 
 Mr. Ormby, and Yi, who had walked in 
 together from the villa, got safely over 
 the brow, the bridge between the jetty 
 and the ship. 
 
 "Come on board to join, sir!" said Yi, 
 touchino- her hat to Cecil. 
 
 "That's the right thing to do, isn't 
 it?" 
 
 "It's right enough, undoubtedly," said
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 217 
 
 Cecil, laughingly. "I only wisli it was true, 
 too. Don't you, Daintree ? " 
 
 "What would the old doctor say to a 
 female messmate?" said the flag lieuten- 
 ant, as they started in a body on a tour 
 of inspection. 
 
 " That's where the sergeant of marines 
 is buried." " On that bench the midship- 
 men are tied, when their noses are sht, and 
 marked with a broad arrow ; " and so on, 
 with many ejaculations of " Oh ! " and 
 " Nonsense ! I don't believe a word of it ! " 
 "Is it really!'' from Vi. The garrison hacks 
 — no, I don't mean that, I hate the term — 
 The two " young ladies Avho doted on the 
 services " were old hands at ship visiting, 
 and were not to be imposed upon by the 
 artful Nipper. 
 
 " How tired the old pet looks ! " said Vi, 
 appeaUng to the assembled company, after 
 the ladies had taken off their hats and 
 cloaks, and were comfortably going in for 
 tea and scandal in the ward-room.
 
 218 Chums: 
 
 " Give him a cup of tea at once, please, 
 Cecil, with two enormous nobs of sugar 
 in it. He shall be an invalid and be helped 
 first." 
 
 Mr. Ormby looked quite prepared to be 
 contented with any arrangement Yi might 
 make. 
 
 " Lovely woman is the sugar ; spoons we 
 poor men ofttimes be," sang Cecil. " If 
 you don't agree with me," added he, " I 
 refer you to the author of " Genevieve de 
 Brabant." 
 
 " Oh, do sing the song properly ! " said 
 Miss Dutton (Cuffs), with pretty, wayward 
 eagerness. 
 
 " I will some day, if you will play my 
 accompaniment." — Cecil ! Cecil ! Why 
 lower your voice ? Why look tenderly at 
 the hopeful maiden ? You humbug ! " 
 
 " You know I will, if you ask me," said 
 she. She did it well, too. The half eager 
 " you know I Avill," wiih a glance of bright 
 eyes ; then the shyly drooped eyelids, the
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 219 
 
 half averted face, the deepening colour and 
 the expressive, " if you ask me." It was 
 well done. And she meant it all, about 
 as much as he did. Margaret ! Margaret ! 
 You humbug ! How often have you been 
 through the performance? 
 
 " Mr. Daintree is very silent," she con- 
 tinued. -Perhaps he will explain why! 
 Is it not rude of him, Blanche ? " 
 
 "Don't be angry," said Daintree, in a 
 voice as melancholy as a droning bag- 
 pipe. "When I think of to-morrow, I 
 declare I " 
 
 " Get poetical ! I was certain of it," 
 broke in Vi. " Now, have you not written 
 something about 'paying off?' I'm sure 
 you have ! Do let us hear it, or could you 
 not dng it to us ? Judging from your dis- 
 mal aspect, it would just go to the tune 
 of the ' Old Hundredth.' I'm not certain 
 that I could play the accompaniment, but 
 it ought not to be very difficult. Shall 
 we try ? "
 
 220 Ch 
 
 lums : 
 
 " Thank you ; no. My verses express 
 the overflowing of a full heart, and as 
 such are, of course, sacred, but not of 
 necessity solemn enough to be sung to 
 the tune of our old familiar friend." 
 
 " Well, give us your ' sacred song,' 
 old boy, and let us judge for ourselves," 
 said Cecil, amid a o-eneral lauc^h ; 
 Daintree holding up his hands im- 
 ploringly. " Now, ladies and gentlemen," 
 he continued, " listen to the overflowing 
 of a full heart." 
 
 " Well, but it is hard, isn't it, Yi ? " 
 appealed Daintree. But Yi only laughed 
 and shook her head, and he continued 
 thoughtfully, " The force of precedent, I 
 suppose, and I can't help feeling it. It 
 used to break the ' old salts ' heart- 
 strings in the good old days to bid their 
 ships farewell, and — 1 don't want to rake 
 u]) old grievances — but why, oh ! why 
 mayn't I break a few heart-strings, too ? " 
 
 "Break away, old fellow; break into
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 221 
 
 song," said Cecil, " and we may be 
 induced to shed a tear as well." 
 
 " Listen, then. Some of my ideas are 
 strikingly touching. They run like this— 
 
 Old TJiunclerhomh, old Thunderhomh , 
 
 The time has come 
 
 To say farewell ; 
 My feelings pent up find a vent, 
 
 In wailing spent 
 
 O'er you, ma belle. 
 
 Adieu, adieu, once more we two 
 
 Seek comrades new, 
 
 My three years' mother ; 
 A friend you are, that stieketh far 
 
 Closer than tar. 
 
 Or wife, or hrother. 
 Good-bye, good-hye, old ship, say I, 
 
 Blow low, blow high, 
 
 Thou'st been ray cradle ; 
 In smooth and rough, scarce grub enough, 
 
 For " salt horse tough " 
 
 Thou wast the stable. 
 
 Farewell, farewell, no more to dwell 
 
 Within that cell, 
 
 " My cabin " named ; 
 AVhere he who'd swing a cat, poor thing. 
 
 It's end would bring. 
 
 And he'd be blamed. 
 
 Old Thunderhomh, old Thiinderhomh, 
 
 The time has come 
 
 To part, ah me ! 
 My feelings sink, mine eyes both wink, 
 Mine eyelids blink, and from their brink, 
 Tears outward shrink, whene'er I think 
 
 Of each fond link 
 
 'Twixt you and me. 
 
 The flag heutenant, who had risen from
 
 222 Chums : 
 
 his chair wiping his eyes, and giving out 
 the last few lines in convulsive gasps, 
 now sank back into Monkton's arms, 
 seemingly in a state of total collapse. 
 Cecil held him tenderly as he murmured, 
 ^' Don't pity me, ladies. Don't feel 
 for me. Above all, doiit, oh ! do not 
 pet or fondle me. But give me tea, 
 more, much more tea, and let me pass 
 away in easy stages of indigestion. It's 
 all I ask, except a small sized hammock, 
 two little shot, and a sailor's grave in the 
 lone, lone sea." 
 
 " Steward," sang out Cecil, " a brandy 
 and soda for Mr. Daintree. I think that's 
 nearer your form, old fellow. You'd 
 want an odd sort of tune for that last 
 sacred verse of yours." 
 
 Daintree smiled sadly. " Ah, my 
 feelings ran away with me there," said 
 he ; adding in a whisper to Miss Blanche 
 Dutton, " They always do when you are 
 near." Whereupon Miss Blanche Dutton
 
 .4 Tale of the Queens Xavy. 223 
 
 smiled, blushed a little, a very little, 
 opened her sleepy, blue eyes, and giggled. 
 Expressive word ; I must use it again — 
 giggled. 
 
 "I'm sure it was very nice, quite — a — 
 quite — a — talented,'' said Mrs. Monkton, 
 referring to the poetry with the slightest 
 possible amount of interest in her voice. 
 
 We all know the peculiar sort of 
 drawlino' tone which women who have 
 been pretty when young adopt after a 
 certain age. Mrs. Monkton had arrived at 
 that long deferred period, and drawlingly 
 she continued, " Might I have a cushion 
 from your cabin. Cecil? Ah! Thank you. 
 And I think I must have left my vinai- 
 grette there. Yes, I thought so. Thank 
 you, so much. By-the-bye, you remember 
 those three Miss Darrells, Mr. Daintree?" 
 
 " / do," burst forth Mr. Irrepressible 
 Dicky, who had been making himself 
 generally useful. " / do. You mean the 
 world, the flesh, and the devil."
 
 224 Chums: 
 
 "Hush, Dicky, you naughty boy," said 
 Vi. 
 
 " I was not aware that they rejoiced in 
 such pe-cuhar names, Dicky. It is really 
 too good of you to tell me," said Mrs. 
 Monkton. 
 
 The Nipper murmured, "Don't mention 
 it," and favoured the Misses Dutton with 
 an expressive wink. 
 
 "Well, Mr. Daintree," continued Mrs. 
 Monkton, " one of the three — I think, 
 taking them in seniority, that it must be 
 the — a— female Old Gentleman," and she 
 smiled complacently at her little joke, 
 " has married an officer of artillery " 
 
 "Easily caught, those gunners. Sus- 
 ceptible fellows," remarked Daintree. 
 
 " Why she was the one who, according 
 to Southsea gossip, forbade the banns of 
 some fellow at a small country church, 
 because she wanted him herself," said the 
 colonel. 
 
 " A hint for you, Yi ! " casually remarked
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 225 
 
 Cecil ; but it passed unnoticed by the sud- 
 denly-deaf and unconscious young lady. 
 
 "When I — was at — Oxford," came slowly 
 and hesitatingly from old Mr. Ormby, " an 
 old schoolfellow of mine was — married ; I 
 forget his name, but she w\as a very — pretty 
 girl, and — and 3^ou recollect her, Vi ! She 
 has quite a large family now." The old 
 man paused, thoughtfully, and looked 
 around with a smile. " Yes, of course, 
 dear. I want Cecil to give you just one 
 more cup of tea." Yi looked troubled. 
 " My uncle was never at Oxford or Cam- 
 bridge," she whispered to Mrs. Ottorose 
 Smith. " He is tired, and then he often 
 fancies he has been to places that he has 
 never been near, and done things which 
 have never really happened. Poor old 
 darling." 
 
 " But you do recollect, don't you, Yi P" 
 persisted Mr. Ormby. 
 
 " Of course, darling. I shall be very 
 angry if you don't believe me. It was 
 
 VOL. I. O
 
 22(; Chums: 
 
 fifteen years before I was born," she added^ 
 sotto voce, with a little, pained smile. 
 
 " Well, I must say, I did not care mucli 
 about those Darrell girls," said Cecil, taking 
 up the conversation again. " I remember 
 stepping on the toes of one of them ; the 
 ' flesh ' I think it was — the fat one, at any 
 rate — at the assembly rooms one night,, 
 and when I begged her pardon, she sim- 
 pered out ' granted.' Ugh ! I hate a girl 
 who says ' granted.' " 
 
 " I should rather think you did," said 
 Bentley, who now joined them, having 
 paused at the door for a moment to threaten 
 to break the Nipper's head for not bringing 
 his sister to the gun-room as ordered. 
 
 " I always thought that people of the 
 milliner class had a sort of monopoly of 
 the expression," said Mrs. Monkton. "I 
 trust I shall never be obliged to meet a lathj 
 who uses it," she added, with a shudder. 
 " }3ut, as I was telling you, Mr. Daintree,. 
 Om has married an artilleryman, and
 
 A Tale of the Line ens Xavy. 'I'll 
 
 both the others are engaged to naval 
 officers." 
 
 " 13y Jove ! you don't say so ! Both of 
 them ? Easily caught, those naval men ! 
 Impressionable fellows," remarked Daintree, 
 and Blanche smiled sweetly on him. 
 
 " It must be the regular marrying year 
 for the Darrell family. I conclude they 
 have a special time for that sort of thing, 
 like the East Indians of the Kumbi caste, 
 who are only permitted to carry on 
 marriage ceremonies once in twelve years,"" 
 said Monkton. 
 
 " Good gracious ! How hor — I mean, what 
 a funny thing ! " ejaculated Miss " Cuffs." 
 
 " Yes, as you say — How horrible ! " 
 assented Monkton. 
 
 " Oh, Mr. Monkton ! 3-ou know I didn't *, 
 you are too bad," from the lady. 
 
 " Well, there was a great row about it 
 some little while ago," continued Cecil. 
 " I happened to be at Kurrachee at the 
 time. It appears that some of the Kumbi- 
 
 g 2
 
 1?28 Chum 
 
 •S' ; 
 
 ites, or Kumbites, calculated that the right 
 year had come, and were consequently all 
 dead on for matrimony, but the others 
 said, no ; the calculations Avere wrong, 
 and there were two more years to wait. 
 Eather a nuisance for the poor, love-sick 
 maidens, eh, Vi ?" 
 
 " Much worse for the spooney bachelors, 
 sir. I suppose the ones who said ' no ' 
 were already married," she added, laugh- 
 ingly. 
 
 " What was the result, Cecil? What did 
 the poor black creatures do?" languidly 
 enquired Mrs. Monkton, sniffing her salts at 
 the bare thought of them. 
 
 " Don't know ; I expect the lovers carried 
 the day, and got spliced all right." 
 
 " Ah ! " said Mr. Ormby, from his arm- 
 chair ; " when I was at Cambridge, and 
 engaged to your dear aunt, Yi, we did 
 not wait twelve years. We went off one 
 morning to church — I forget the name ; 
 and — and — you recollect the church, Yi !
 
 .4 Tale of the Queens Navy. 2*29 
 
 I remember your dear aunt fainting during 
 the ceremony; you recollect. Yi!" 
 
 "Of course, dear. He was never at 
 Cambridge," she whispered. 
 
 'Will you tell them the story, Yi," said 
 the old man, peevishly. " Not now, uncle ; 
 we are just going, you know," said Yi. 
 " Please make a move, Mrs. Ottorose 
 Smith." She added in alow voice, " I don't 
 remember ever seeing my aunt." 
 
 " I think we must go now, Mrs. Monkton," 
 said Mrs. Ottorose Smith. " We, ladies, re- 
 quire at least one hour's nap before the 
 evening's dance." 
 
 The ladies were soon ready to start. 
 
 " We shall meet some of you at dinner 
 again, and I suppose you will be all at the 
 ball, so we need not say good-bye," and 
 with a gracious all-including sweep, Mrs. 
 Ottorose Smith sailed across the brow, the 
 gallant Ottorose in tow. 
 
 " Oh, Cecil, I have left my handkerchief 
 in the ward-room," said Mrs. Monkton, as
 
 230 Chunts. 
 
 she prepared to brave the crossing. Cecil 
 dived below again and soon returned. 
 
 "You have it with you, mother, I think,'' 
 said he. 
 
 " So I have, dear ; it is in my back 
 pocket ; I am so sorry ! " 
 
 " Moral ! Don't wear back pockets," 
 laughed Cecil, and his step-mamma sailed 
 slowly after Mrs. Ottorose Smith. 
 
 The party walked away leisurely towards 
 the gates, and drove off to " Nonpareil 
 Villa." 
 
 " If your sister gives me a dance to- 
 night, I'll let you off* your thrashing ; but 
 if not, look out for squalls, you young 
 beggar." And having, with terrible jocose- 
 ness, twisted the Nipper's arm, and hit it 
 some dozen times upon the same spot, to 
 create a sore — as he pleasantly explained 
 — the gallant Bentley pushed owv little 
 friend down the after-hatcliway.
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 ^^^pONKTON, Daintree, and Dicky 
 |||^^ dined at Nonpareil Villa that 
 '' "^ ~^^ evening, as did also the Misses 
 Button, who were to appear at the ball 
 under the expansive wing of Mrs. Ottorose 
 Smith. The ladies had decided upon don- 
 ning their full war paint after dinner, and 
 at 1).30 the men of the party were still 
 awaiting their reaj)pearance in the drawing- 
 room. 
 
 " They've only been an hour upstairs," 
 said Daintree, who had kept himself amused 
 by tying knots in the fringe of an anti- 
 macassar. " I give them another thirty 
 minutes at least. Bj^-the-bye, colonel, did 
 you hear of our little excitement this
 
 Churn- 
 
 The colonel shook his head. As a 
 rule he avoided excitement and dinner 
 claret. 
 
 " Well," continued Daintree, "just as the 
 connnander-in-chief was giving orders for 
 the dress at the ball to-night, he received 
 the news that the Lord Mackaciac was to 
 be present. Now, Mackaciac's mother, as 
 everyone knows, is daughter of the reign- 
 ing queen of the Seaward Islands, and, 
 being so, is undoubtedly royal. But Mac- 
 kaciac's father, as everyone also knows, is 
 simply Duke of Mackaciac, blue-blooded, 
 certainly, but not royal. Now, the question 
 which caused all the excitement and ex- 
 ercised the minds of the naval commander- 
 in-chief and staff, and our old 'Ral and staff 
 was, whether, under those circumstances, 
 Mackaciac fih could be considered royal 
 or not ; and, consequently, whether naval 
 officers should appear in full dress, royalty 
 being present, or whether we shcnild go in 
 undress only, royalty not being present.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 233 
 
 and no one outside the circle being con- 
 sidered good enough to call for naval full 
 dress. Fine point, wasn't it?" 
 
 The others smiled, and the Hag-Ueutenant 
 resumed : " I trotted out to Government 
 House, saw the general and his staff, and 
 put it to them. But they soon gave it up. 
 They didn't have to run about with an extra 
 coat in lavender to bow to royalty in. But 
 they helped us search for precedents, and 
 we — -found none. Finally we all gave it up, 
 and telegraphed to my lords for instruc- 
 tions. Arrived at their numerous Lord- 
 ships', Billy Barclay, assistant private 
 secretary to the junior boardei', who had 
 been devouring pen holders since 10 a.m., 
 decided the question in two minutes, and 
 telegraphed my lords' opinions that the 
 presence of half-bred royalty was not good 
 enough to be considered a state occasion. 
 It was a great disappointment to me," said 
 Daintree, dolefully, " as 1 wanted to air my 
 full-dress coat. Fve only worn it twice in
 
 234 Ch, 
 
 nis 
 
 the last four years. Once wlien [ was 'pre- 
 sented,' and ao-aiii when the Prince of Wales 
 and the Sultan came on board us at Spit- 
 head. It's getting rotten rapidly. Class, 
 mouldy." 
 
 " Useful sort of article to drag- round the 
 world in a tin case," said Cecil "I think 
 we had better give up all hope of seeing 
 the ladies ao^ain." 
 
 However, in a quarter of an hour the 
 two matrons appeared — Mrs. Ottorose, big, 
 bland, and smiling ; Mrs. Monkton, small, 
 languid, and also smiling — and were quickly 
 followed by their three fair chai'ges, all 
 ready and anxious for the fray. 
 
 This was Yi's first large dance, her '•' com- 
 ing out " ball, and though thumb-screws 
 and racks would not have forced the con- 
 fession from her, slie was considerably 
 excited about it. 
 
 "Yon'd better change your mind and 
 come, Monkton," said the cohmel to Mr. 
 Monkton, senior.
 
 ^4 Tale of the Queens X(n'i/ 235 
 
 "Xo, thank you. I shall stop at home 
 and give Mr. Ormby his revenge at 
 chess." 
 
 " Wliich, being interpreted, means that 
 the horrid man will not give up his cigar," 
 pouts Mrs. Monkton. Pouting has been 
 one of her points. 
 
 " I am afraid, my dear, that it is 
 even as you say," calmly remarked her 
 husband. 
 
 " Well, forward all the remainder of us. 
 Dicky, you won't mind mounting the box 
 of one of the flys ?" 
 
 " Rather not, colonel. It's a jolly sight 
 better than being stifled in with " 
 
 " Quite so, Dicky. Hold on tight, there's 
 a good little boy;" and the ladies smiled 
 maliciously, gracefully swooped down upon 
 their trains, and declared themselves ready 
 to start. 
 
 Dancing had commenced shortly after 
 9.30, and the assembly rooms were fairly 
 full by the time they entered.
 
 Clnniis : 
 
 " There's the old 'Eal flying round like 
 a paper man," said Dicky, with intense 
 delight, as the men waited near the door. 
 " He has the same step for everything, 
 waltz, polka, galop, all the same to him ; 
 he gets the same amount of enjoyment 
 out of them all." 
 
 " I wish I could," sighed the Colonel 
 Ottorose. " Naval oflicers have no livers, as 
 far as I can see ! I suppose they have 
 some sort of patent arrangement that does 
 the duty, and that hot climates and fre- 
 quent ' liquors ' have no effect upon 
 them. But as for livers! Ah!" The 
 colonel pressed his hand sadly against 
 his right side. " My dancing days are 
 over. I'm too old for anything," he 
 concluded. 
 
 " Not a bit of it, sir ; awfully old fel- 
 lows dance the polka now. Eum old sticks 
 they look, too! Ha! ha!" 
 
 The colonel not seeming particularly 
 amused at this piece of information, Dicky
 
 A Tale of the Queen\s Xavy. 237 
 
 turned liis attention to his sister, who, look- 
 ing rather flushed and nervous, had just 
 returned, with the other ladies, from the 
 cloak room. 
 
 " Now, Vi, keep your pecker up ! you 
 really don't look so bad ; does she, Mrs. 
 Monkton? If you weren't so jolly red, no 
 one could guess that this is your first 
 appearance." 
 
 " Be quiet, Dicky. She's half-frightened 
 now," whispered Mrs. Monkton, tapping 
 him with her fan as she passed, leaning on 
 Cecil's arm ; and they all entered the ball 
 room. 
 
 Eanged in picturesque rows, negligently (?) 
 formed into effective groups, each lady 
 taking care to be amongst the right coloured 
 dresses, perhaps that hers should " kill " her 
 neighbours', stand gracefully, or recline 
 easily, the Southsea maidens, all bent on 
 conquest over the services, but always 
 " according to scale." Is he a captain E.X. ? 
 — he is smiled upon more sweetly than is the
 
 238 Ch 
 
 urns : 
 
 commander. Is he a major? — his "star" 
 smks below the horizon, as the lieut.- 
 colonel's " crown " approaches. Beam on, 
 fair damsels; tighten your petticoats; squeeze 
 in your waists ! We love you none the less, 
 for the time, for having match-making 
 mammas. You, personally, do not know 
 the army and navy lists by heart ; yoii, 
 personally, never glance through the naval 
 and military intelligence. Oh, no, we quite 
 understand that. Love in a cottage, for 
 the artless " village " maiden. 
 
 There was a little excitement amongst the 
 men on the arrival of our special party, for 
 the Ottorose Smiths were well known, and 
 the two Miss Buttons took hic^h rank 
 amongst the Southsea " crawlers." Mrs. 
 Monkton and Vi had only been down 
 for a week, but visitors are soon known 
 in " the village," and they had already 
 met everyone who was meetahle. Cards 
 were rapidly produced, and dances, not 
 previously filled up, were speedily scrawled
 
 ^•1 Tale of the Queens Xavi/. 
 
 opposite, ill men's extraordinary ball card 
 hieroglyphics. 
 
 " I say, Cecil, old fellow," whispered the 
 Nipper, " there's Armstrong. I was hoping^ 
 that he had not left Gib yet. He's talking 
 to Yi." 
 
 " Your sister looks very pleased to meet 
 him again,'" said Monkton. 
 
 " Oh, yes ; I daresay he knows how to 
 make himself agreeable. My uncle likes 
 him, too, and says he has improved ' Old 
 Court,' wonderfully." 
 
 '• Much better improve himself, I should, 
 say," muttered Cecil. 
 
 A moment later, Armstrong came up tO' 
 them both, and introduced himself, saying, 
 pleasantly and naturally, that although he- 
 had not had the pleasure of meeting them 
 before, he thought that he must have seen 
 them at Gib lately ; and that, as he knew 
 their people, he hoped they would excuse- 
 his coming up to them " in such a casual 
 way, without an introduction."
 
 240 Chums : 
 
 Cecil and Dicky were civil, of course, 
 and Armstrong had to leave them, almost 
 immediately, to dance No. 5 with Vi. 
 
 " He is evidently bent upon being agree- 
 able," said Monkton, " and either does not, 
 or tfill not know who bowled him over at 
 Gib. All right; I don't wish to remind 
 him. It was the only time that I have stood 
 forth, a champion of females in distress. It 
 would hardly do to count up the number of 
 ballet girls that one has kissed ; and most 
 likely Armstrong put Mary Lawrence down 
 as one of the general run — fair game ; but, 
 by Jove, knowing what a dear, good little 
 girl she really is, I couldn't help bowling 
 him over." 
 
 " Toil will be bowled over in a minute," 
 said Armstrong, who at that moment stopped 
 near them ; Vi, flushed and happy, leaning 
 on his arm. "Who are you going to bowl 
 over, Monkton?" he continued, with a rather 
 peculiar smile. "Let him off, do; there's 
 a o'irl at the far end of the rocm, looking as
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navi/. 241 
 
 if she was expecting her partner ; are you 
 not engaged ? There she is, and that young- 
 looking commander is making towards her. 
 Three stripes against your two, my dear 
 fellow ; you will lose the race, I'm afraid. 
 She's looking this way now ; do try if a 
 Southsea girl will haul in her line for a 
 lieutenant, when a commander is nibbling 
 at the hook." 
 
 " Whew ! " said Monkton, " I see her. 
 By all that's unfortunate, it's Miss Margaret 
 Dutton ; I worried her like fun to give me 
 this dance, too." 
 
 " You'll catch it," laughed Yi ; " and you 
 have made Dicky forget his dance with 
 Bella ; they are only just commencing." 
 
 Cecil hurried off, as the Mpper, fondly 
 clasping the plump waist of Miss Isabella 
 Manley, waltzed by, " heaving round," as he 
 afterwards asserted, " like bricks." 
 
 " Are you ready again, Mr. Armstong ? " 
 asked Yi, too impatient to remain still, 
 listening to the music ; " this is a delicious 
 
 VOL. I. R
 
 242 Chums : 
 
 waltz ; " and away they whirled once 
 
 more. 
 
 * * * * 
 
 "I cannot apologise sufficiently, Miss 
 Button," said Cecil, after he had succeeded 
 in piloting himself across the room to where 
 the fair " Cuffs " sat, awaiting her forgetful 
 partner. 
 
 " Then please don't attempt to do so," she 
 interrupted. •'! am very angry with you, 
 and have a good mind to punish you 
 by " 
 
 " Sitting out this dance ! That's right, 
 so we vdll," said that disgraceful Cecil, as 
 he carefully sat himself down at her side. 
 " Talking is far better fun than dancing ; 
 don't you think so ? but of course you do, or 
 you would not have proposed our ' sitting 
 out,' " he added. " Let me recite you a 
 fragment of Moore, on ' Eeason, Folly, and 
 Beauty.' Listen : 
 
 Eeason, and Folly, and Beauty they say, 
 Went to a party of pleasure one day ; 
 
 Folly play'd 
 
 Around the maid ;
 
 A Tale of the Queen's Navy. 24 M 
 
 The bells of his cap rung ruerril}- out ; 
 
 While Reason took 
 
 His sermon book — 
 Oh ! vrhich was tlie pleasanter no one need doubt; 
 Which was the pleasanter no one need doubt. 
 
 You, of course, are Beauty, and, as I 
 am doing the talking, I must be Eeason. 
 Folly is apparently absent from our merry 
 meeting. Still no remark to offer ! We 
 must have recourse to Moore acrain. 
 
 Down in the valley come meet me to-night 
 And I'll tell you your fortune truly 
 
 As ever I was told by the new moon's light, 
 To a young maiden shining as newly. 
 
 But for the world let no eye be nigh, 
 Lest haply the stars should deceive me ; 
 
 Such secrets between you and me and the sky 
 Should never go farther, believe me. 
 
 Nothing to say to me yet ? We must try 
 a little bit of S. Johnson on ' The Vanity 
 of Human Wishes.' That will draw, I 
 know," thought Cecil, as he continued 
 aloud his recitations, the fair Maggie 
 evidently getting more and more anxious 
 for the dance as her partner showed an 
 increasing eagerness for poetry. 
 
 R 2
 
 244 Chu 
 
 nis : 
 
 Ye nymphs of rosy lips and radiant eyes, 
 
 Whom pleasure keeps too busy to l»e wise. 
 
 Whom joys with soft varieties invite, 
 
 V,y (lay the frolic, and the dance Ijy night, 
 
 Who frown with vanity, who smile with art, 
 
 And ask tlie latest fashion of the heart. 
 
 What care, what rules your heedless charms shall save 
 
 P^ach nymph your rival, and each nymph your slave ? 
 
 How many rivals have you here to-niglit, 
 Miss Dutton? Of course we, tlie men, 
 ycni know, are all your slaves.'' 
 
 "Pray, do you imagine, Mr. Monkton, 
 that I came here to listen to stupid 
 poetry?" demanded Miss Dutton, at last 
 breaking silence. 
 
 " Well, I hardly know. Answering in 
 a general sort of way — for girls in a body, 
 you know — I should say, with submis- 
 sion, that they go to a ball for the same 
 reason that they go to a church, or a 
 theatre, or a concert — to be looked at." 
 
 " I will soon show you that I, at any 
 rate, came to dance,'' said Maggie, jump- 
 ing up. " You don't know much about 
 girls, or you would not talk such nonsense 
 about them. Besides, I've heard it all
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 245 
 
 before," she continued, as they whirled 
 off, " and I dote on dancing." 
 
 " So do I — now^'' whispered Cecil, 
 
 Was it lier fancy, or did the squeeze of 
 his right arm really tighten around her 
 waist as he spoke ? Was it Ins fancy, or 
 did her right cheek really sink nearer 
 his shoulder, only to be warned off by 
 his irresponsive epaulette, as she listened ? 
 
 It is full of subtle fancies, is the grace- 
 ful waltz. I don't waltz much — I like 
 i-ealities. What do you think, manly 
 dancer ? 
 
 "May I persuade you to try an ice?" 
 asked Armstrong, as, later on in the even- 
 ing he finished a turn with Mrs. Monkton. 
 
 " Thank you, I should like one." 
 
 Cecil's step-mamma sank into a chair 
 next to Mrs. Ottorose Smith, just outside 
 the refreshment-room. Mrs. 0. S. was 
 fairly good at refreshments. 
 
 " He is so attentive for such a young 
 man," continued Mrs. Monkton, after
 
 24 (J Chnns : 
 
 Armstrong had left them. " He talks of 
 organising lots of pic-nics and riding 
 parties when we get home again ; and he 
 actually offered me that chesnut of his — 
 beautiful creature — directly I said I ad- 
 mired it. But, of course, Charles will 
 make me refuse it," she added, plaintively. 
 
 " Yes, dear ; it is refreshing to find a 
 young man so attentive," said Mrs. Otto- 
 rose Smith. " I have noticed Yi dancing 
 with him several times. She is with Mr. 
 Bentley now. How the dear child enjoys 
 a little excitement." 
 
 " Cecil has only danced with her once,'' 
 said Mrs. Monkton. "He has been carry- 
 ing on a violent flirtation with Maggie 
 Dutton. It's too bad of the boy, for I 
 know he means nothing in that direction; 
 and there's that amusing Mr. Daintree 
 still in the toils. Blanche is very fond of 
 him, I am sure, but it's hard to tell 
 whether he cares for her or not!" 
 
 " It would be a very good thing for
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 247 
 
 Blanche," observed that young lad^-'s cha- 
 perone. " She is a nice girl, but flighty, 
 my dear, very flighty." 
 
 " Ah ! we were all young once^ were 
 we not, Mr. Armstrong?" and the fair 
 Mrs. Monkton smiled bewitchingly, as 
 Armstrong returned with an ice for her, 
 and — thoughtful man — another, wherewitli 
 to gladden the heart of Mrs. Ottorose Smith. 
 
 " It is impossible to imagine at present 
 that Mrs. Monkton Avill ever have to refer 
 to her 'pad youth, except in jest," he re- 
 plied, gallantly. 
 
 He is an agreeable young man is Mr. 
 Jack Armstronor. 
 
 * * * * 
 
 "And so you are afraid the 'poor, little 
 girl,' as you call her, got awfully fond 
 of you, you most conceited of men ? 
 Was she very pretty, Francis?" 
 
 Time had flown on to one a.m., when 
 the above remark was made, the above 
 question asked. The place was a secluded
 
 248 Ch 
 
 iunis : 
 
 corner in one of the smaller rooms, far 
 removed from the giddy crowd. The 
 speaker was Miss Blanche Dutton, and 
 the listener, Lieutenant the Hon. Francis 
 Daintree, E.N. 
 
 The observant reader will note that they 
 have arrived at the Blanche and Francis 
 period — not difficult that, in a seaport 
 town. 
 
 " Her good looks were intense, her 
 fondness intensive," complacently began 
 Daintree. 
 
 " Yes, yes, I daresay," interrupted the 
 lady. " She was a miracle of beauty and 
 affection, I have no doubt ; but who was 
 she ? Was she — I mean, were her people in 
 society at Gibraltar?" 
 
 " Now, Blanche, Blanche, do moderate 
 your transports until you have something 
 to get excited about. Interruption and 
 anxiety to quarrel are your besetting sins. 
 Why so impatient ? Why so hasty ? Who 
 said anything about Gibraltar? Why rush
 
 A Tale of the Queen\'< Xavi/. 249 
 
 at conclusions ? The girl I referred to, as 
 ofrowinor so fond of me, is nearer than Gib. 
 To put it properly, I love my love with a 
 B, because she's so beatifically beautiful, 
 and sj b'jwitchingly brilliant. I hate her 
 ^vith a B because she's so bitterly bellicose, 
 and so bloomingly blunt. I met her first 
 at a ball on board the Bellerophon ; her 
 
 name is Blanche, and she's awfully . 
 
 Xow, now ! " He held up his finger, warn- 
 ingly as Blanche moved and attempted to 
 speak. " Don't be naughty, above all 
 thinofs, don't be bellicose. You are fond 
 of me, you know you are ; and, between 
 ourselves, I'm afraid I'm beainnino' to 
 rather like you. Keep it dark, Blanche. 
 It's most unfortunate, and I always thought 
 that I wasn't a marrying man. But I 
 
 suppose I shall have to . Hulloh ! 
 
 Who is that girl ? The little one with the 
 exceptionally-low dress and long train ? 
 She's a fetching little thing." 
 
 " Upon my ^\ord," said Blanche — and
 
 250 CI ill 
 
 ni.s : 
 
 she seemed really put out this time — "you 
 are not fit to be trusted in ladies' society 
 at all. I shall write to your mother about 
 you," she added, recovering herself. 
 
 " All right ! Write away. You won't 
 shake a fond mamma's confidence in her 
 favourite son. She'll tell you that I'm an 
 angel, and, I daresay, believe that she could 
 prove it. I'll define myself in verse for 
 your benefit. 
 
 I am my mammy's favourite son, 
 And she's a widow. 
 
 I also am that saint, 
 
 That angel without paint, 
 Who, having kindly undertaken 
 That ' poor Jack ' shan't Le forsaken, 
 Sit's up aloft, and keeps his watch upon the billow. 
 
 " There, that's about her opinion of me. 
 You will know in future, who the ' sweet 
 little cherub who sits up aloft,' is." 
 
 " Mothers are the most untrustworthy 
 of a never-to-be-trusted sex. Never be a 
 mother, Blanche ; that is — never have 
 a mother, I should say. Who is that 
 little girl?" And Daintree finding Inmself
 
 ^4 Tale of the Queen's Navy. 251 
 
 somewhat involved, retreated behind his 
 double glasses. 
 
 "- Oh, I don't know ; she's a stranger,*' 
 said Blanche. Continuing inquiringly, but 
 with consummate carelessness, " you were 
 saying just now, that you had decided 
 to ?" 
 
 " Xo, no ! I don't think I had decided^ 
 had I?" said Daintree, eagerly, adding, 
 with some hesitation for liim, " I was 
 only supposing that 1 should have to 
 consider, if I hadn't better think, whetlier 
 it wouldn't be better to — " 
 
 " Oh mercy, mercy ! that will do," 
 laughed Blanche, as merrily as she could ; 
 but there was a slight ring of disappoint- 
 ment about it. Mrs. Monkton was right ; 
 Miss " Frill's " did like Daintree ; had 
 cared for him long, and, what was more, 
 meant to marry him. But — fast herself, 
 she knew it did not always do to force the 
 pace in others ; and the flag-lieutenant 
 was safe for to-niodit.
 
 252 Ch 
 
 nuns : 
 
 We Avill leave them then, still intensify- 
 ing — as Daintree would put it — their 
 fondness for each other, in seclusion. We 
 came to a dcmce, you know, and must not 
 s])end our time in secluded corners and 
 refreshment rooms, although I regret to 
 say that there are gentlemen and ladies 
 of my acquaintance, who — 
 
 But no I perhaps 'twere best not T'evile 
 
 them. We do it ourselves. 
 
 * • * * * 
 
 "This is our dance, I think, Miss 
 Ormby ? " 
 
 Vi, having enjoyed about one minute's 
 rest under her chaperone's wing, smiled 
 an assent, and took Bentley's arm for the 
 polka. He had not been dancing much ; 
 he was one of the gentlemen of my 
 
 acquaintance who . By Gad ! I'm 
 
 off again ! I almost mentioned names 
 that time. Careful, my pen; and ink, be 
 cautious. We will merely mention then 
 Avith regard to Bentley's dancing (?)
 
 ^4 Tale of the Queens Xavi/. 2.33 
 
 tliat up to now, he had several times 
 found stimulants absolutely necessary. 
 
 " You are enjoying yourself, thoroughly,. 
 I trust ? " he asked, speaking slowly and 
 with excessive distinctness. " I scarcely 
 dared to hope that you would be able to 
 give me this dance. You are quite the 
 belle of the evening. Miss Ormby ! " 
 
 Vi laughed merrily. She knew exactly 
 how much to believe of that. 
 
 " Did you see Mr. Barnaby ? " she asked. 
 " The Slug, you know ! You see I have 
 heard about you all, and know every- 
 one's nick-name. Well ; did you see him 
 arrive P " and she laughed merrily, again. 
 
 " ^o ! He's rather a muff ; I don't care 
 much for him. Xow your brother is a 
 fellow we all like. Capital youngster in 
 every way." 
 
 Vi did not laugh this time. She had 
 heard of Bentley as well as of Barnaby,. 
 and knew which was considered the 
 knave, which the fool.
 
 254 a 
 
 lums : 
 
 " Oh, I think the Slug great fun," she 
 said. " I intend to make violent love to 
 him some day, if he will let me. But I 
 am very angry with him for making me 
 laugh at him so much this evening." 
 
 " What did the foo — I mean the Slug — 
 do ? If he has insulted the prettiest girl, 
 belle of the ball, I'll— I'll— " 
 
 Yi, looking very surprised and rather 
 uncomfortable at this, to her, quite un- 
 accountable outburst, hastened to ex- 
 plain. 
 
 " It was really too splendid," she said. 
 " I suppose he combined economy with 
 sluggishness, for he was very late and 
 had evidently walked. I am surprised 
 at your not seeing the fun ! Where could 
 you have been ? " 
 
 The gallant sub. thought it unnecessary 
 to mention where he "could have been," 
 and probably was when Barnaby arrived ; 
 and Vi, not thinkincr that a low murmur 
 from him about something being " spoilt
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 255 
 
 by not having a dash of cnracoa " could 
 have anything to do with her question, 
 continued her story. 
 
 " It was about half-past ten when he 
 put in an appearance, and such an appear- 
 ance ! I thouoiit it Avould have killed me?" 
 laughed she. " Mr. Armstrong and I 
 were talking near the door of the large 
 dancing-room, and everyone else seemed 
 doing the same, wdien, all at once, there 
 was silence, quickly broken by a low 
 laugh, in which all the people grad- 
 ually joined. We soon saw where to 
 look for the joke, for everyone was 
 staring towards the top of the room. 
 There stood the unfortunate Mr. Slug, 
 bowing lowly to Mrs. Ottorose Smith, 
 who, dear old soul, smiled blandly and 
 bowed low in return, utterly unconscious 
 that she was affordins^ amusement for 
 nearly the whole of Southsea. Not 
 much to lauo'h at in the idea of seeinor 
 Mr. T3arnaby bow to Mrs. Ottorose Smith,
 
 256 Chums: 
 
 is there?" Vi paused a moment, expect- 
 inof a remark of some sort from Mr. 
 Bentley. None came, and thinking him 
 very rude, she continued, " the joke was 
 that, finding himself late, he had evidently 
 been in a great hurry to commence 
 dancing at once. His great coat and hat 
 he had remembered ; but his economical 
 arrangements had been forgotten, for his 
 trowsers were turned up almost to his 
 knees, and a pair of enormous goloshes 
 encased his pumps. Poor boy ! you should 
 have seen his face when that wretched 
 young brother of mine, half-choking with 
 suppressed delight, drew his attention be- 
 fore everyone to the state of his lower 
 extremities. What teas it Dicky said ? 
 Oh, I know: 'I'll have your india-rubber 
 beetle crushers, Slug.' Wasn't it a shame? " 
 and Yi, with great difficulty, kept back 
 a rebellious peal of laughter, and con- 
 tinued her story, regardless of Bentley 
 having apparently fallen asleep ; still
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. ''Zbl 
 
 having to maintain an occasional struggle 
 with a more than usually aspiring 
 burst of merriment. "Well! poor fel- 
 low ! his lirst object was to remove 
 the crushers, and, looking miserably 
 red and uncomfortable, he turned his 
 back upon Mrs. Ottorose Smith and 
 commenced to off goloshes, turn down 
 trowsers ; more irrepressible titters from 
 the bystanders showed their appreciation 
 of this manoeuvre before he had got more 
 than one golosh off, and with a wild look 
 around he seized that, thrust it into the 
 white coat tails of his midshipman's uni- 
 form, and bolted through the door. I 
 haven't seen him since. The best of it is 
 that he does not know Mrs. Ottorose 
 Smith at all ; but, seeing her stationed, 
 bland and smiling, directly opposite the 
 entrance, he had imagined her to be the 
 lady patroness of the evening, and 
 hastened to make his bow. She told me, 
 as soon as I felt able to control my feel- 
 
 voi . r. s
 
 258 Chums 
 
 ings sufficiently to trust myself near her, 
 that some young gentleman who seemed 
 to know her, but whose face she had 
 entirely forgotten, had been most attentive 
 in paying his respects to her ; but^ she 
 added, he had left her somewhat abruptly, 
 and would I try and find out who it was, 
 as he might be offended at her failing to 
 recognise him. Just fancy ! Somewhat 
 abruptly ; wasn't it good ? " and Vi enjoyed 
 one more good laugh at the thought of 
 poor Barnaby's sudden departure. 
 
 " Glorious ! perfectly glorious ! " said 
 Bentley, with considerably more enthusi- 
 asm than the occasion seemed to Vi to 
 demand. " She's excessively good, dear 
 good fellow ! " and he looked sentimentally 
 at Miss Ormby who, quite at a loss to 
 understand him, said that "she supposed 
 so." 
 
 The polka was over, and Bentley 
 wandered off with Vi on his arm. He 
 anxious to escape as far as possible from
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 259 
 
 the other "paired off" ones; she, be- 
 ginning at last to see that it wonld be 
 better to get her partner to sit down 
 quietly until the next dance commenced, 
 and she could escape him. 
 
 " What heaps of people ! almost im- 
 possible to get clear of them, isn't it, 
 Miss Ormby ? " slowly demanded Bentley, 
 after they had completed the round of 
 the room for the third time. 
 
 " I think it is scarcely necessary to 
 try,'' said Vi, composedly. " I should hke 
 to sit down for a few minutes, please. 
 It is nice and cool here. Will this do?" 
 she asked, laughingly, as they sat down. 
 Bentley did not appear inclined to be 
 communicative, so she continued — 
 
 "Did you hear Miss Button's rhyme 
 about the services ? " 
 
 Bentley muttered a negative, and added 
 something about only caring to listen to 
 what one girl had to say ; looking so 
 strangely at Yi, as he spoke, that she 
 
 VOL. I. T
 
 260 Chu 
 
 ms : 
 
 determined not to sit ont lon^rer than 
 
 o 
 
 she was obliged. A girl cannot run 
 away shrieking in a ball-room. 
 
 ''Well," said she, "it will be a very 
 pretty verse for you to remember, and 
 it is certainly complimentary to you as 
 a young sailor. This is it : 
 
 Old sailors are old rough and tough Grizzly Bears, 
 
 Old soldiers are darling old ducks ; 
 Young sailors are charming delightful young dears, 
 
 Young soldiers ; haw ! — you know ! young hacks. 
 
 Is it not good? and so true I think!" 
 
 What Bentley thought of the verse is 
 unknown ; what he thought of Vi, as 
 far as he was capable of thinking in 
 his now stupid state, was soon evident. 
 It was enough for him that she laughed,, 
 talked slang occasionally, and evinced no 
 " goody ! goody ! " tendencies. She must 
 be fast, thought the fool, and not easily 
 offended. Girlish light-heartedness and 
 real simplicity were unknown qualities 
 in his estimate of the sex ; and so he 
 called her fast.
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 261 
 
 The fair reader will remember that I 
 write of several years ago ; at the present 
 time I know no girl that I would dare 
 accuse of simplicity. 
 
 Bentley's thoughts were quickly fol- 
 lowed by action, but we will let Yi tell 
 us what happened, in her own way, and 
 at her own time. 
 
 It was a great surprise to Dicky, a 
 short time afterwards, to hear her plead- 
 ing fatigue as an excuse for not dancing 
 w^ith Dare, and then to see her beckon 
 to him to sit beside her. 
 
 " Now, what is the matter ? " he asked, 
 stopping by her chair. " Cecil made me 
 lose quite half a dance with Bella, and 
 now 3'ou want to do me out of one 
 with Miss King, and I know she " 
 
 " Why, you don't mean to say that 
 you really mean to dance with that long 
 lamp post ? " interrupted Yi, with a 
 burst of laughter, quite forgetting for the 
 moment her real object in detaining Dicky. 
 
 t2
 
 262 Chums: 
 
 " Don't be feeble, Vi ; of course I don't 
 mean the long one ; it's her cousin Amy." 
 
 "Her cousin Amy, is it? Can't say 1 
 admire your taste, Master Dicky." 
 
 " Oh, bother my taste ; she's not as 
 tall as her cousin, or as short as you, 
 or as plump as Bella ; that's all I know 
 about it. But what is it you want, Vi ? 
 because she is waiting." 
 
 " Oh ! I forget. I want to know if — " 
 Yi hesitated, looking as if she would like 
 to be able to put off her request altogether. 
 "Could you — could you manage, Dicky, 
 that we could leave after this dance ? " 
 
 " What, leave now ! " exclaimed the 
 surprised Dicky. " Why the ' Extras ' are 
 all to come yet, and I heard you tell 
 Daintree that you enjoyed them more 
 than any. " 
 
 " Yes, yes ; I know ; so I do ; but then, 
 you know, it depends very much upon — 
 upon one's partner ; doesn't it, you dear 
 old boy?"
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 263 
 
 " Ve-iy true ; so it do," sang Dicky, 
 " but I don't think you need be alarmed ; 
 you have cheek enough for anything, 
 and if by some mistake, you liave tied 
 yourself to some objectionable fellow, 
 tell him you are tired ; he's sure to 
 believe that." And Dicky grinned. "Or," 
 he continued, " or, happy thought, say 
 you are engaged to me. I don't mind 
 giving you one dance. And now for 
 Miss Amy King." 
 
 " Yes ; but, Dicky," said Vi ! stopping 
 him, and giving a rather nervous laugh, 
 " supposing that one is afraid to refuse." 
 
 " Afraid ! Ha, ha ! you afraid of any 
 male alive, or yet to live ! Come, draw 
 it mild, Yi ! I'm off. But, why, what 
 is it Yi ? Eh ? " He came close to her 
 chair as she coloured painfully. " There's 
 nothing wrong really^ is there ? You 
 (h^i't mean that you are really afraid ? 
 Who is the beggar?" Dicky spoke in- 
 dignantly, and Yi hastened to quiet him.
 
 264 Ch 
 
 urns : 
 
 " Oh, hush ! hush ! never mind now ; 
 come away, there is a good old boy. 
 Have your dance with ' cousin Amy,' 
 and then I will ask Mrs. Monkton to 
 go with us. She is tired too." 
 
 Dicky had his dance, and in a quar- 
 ter of an hour Mrs. Monkton, Vi, and 
 he Avere on their way to the villa ; the 
 others having determined to stop a little 
 longer. 
 
 Yi's diaper one thought that the ex- 
 citement of the " coming out " ball had 
 been a little too much for her young 
 charge, and she was not sorry to leave 
 the " Eooms " on her own account. 
 Cecil had looked as if he would like to ^o 
 with them, but a remark of Dicky's — 
 that he hoped to have just time for a 
 yarn with Yi before she went to bed — 
 made him decide on remaining with the 
 rest. Mrs. Monkton went up stairs im- 
 mediately they reached the house, advis- 
 ing Yi not to stay up much longer, and
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navj^/. 2()5 
 
 the twins sat down to have their yarn. 
 As soon as they were alone, Vi went 
 over to Dicky and kissed him. " We are 
 awfully fond of each other, you dear old 
 fellow ! I don't believe any brother and 
 sister could be more chummy than we are." 
 " Not half such chums," asserted Dicky, 
 putting his arm around her. " Precious 
 few fellows have such rattling jolly sis- 
 ters," lie added. Vi stood by him 
 thoughtfully for a minute, then smooth- 
 ing back his hair caressingly, said, "I 
 suppose you are dying to know why I 
 have dragged you home so early. I'll 
 tell you. It was simply one of my 
 wild freaks. And now," she continued, 
 turning away quickly at Dicky's incredu- 
 lous look, "I will make you one of my most 
 exquisite cigarettes ; as only Yi cxm make 
 them ; and I promise not to go to bed 
 until you have smoked it." She quickly 
 rolled one, and took a puff or two before 
 handing it to the Xipper
 
 266 Chums: 
 
 " There ; now you will do ! " she said. 
 " Sit upright, and make the most of 
 yourself. That's right ! You only have 
 to grow a beard, and a few inches, and 
 be able to stand a strong glass of grog 
 and a pipe, to be ideally a man. That's 
 all I " And Vi stepped back a few paces 
 and took stock of him, laughingly. 
 
 What a lot of good, honest love is 
 often concealed in real, open chaff! 
 Chaff, according to Johnson, means " a 
 worthless thing ; " but, when we turn it into 
 slang, and make a verb of it, many of 
 us have found it useful enough. Who 
 has not discovered that chaffing often leads 
 to loving ? There's a worthy result to be 
 obtained by slang ! 
 
 But Dicky had no idea of being put off 
 thus. He puffed vigorously at his cigar- 
 ette, and tlien quietly remarked, " It's 
 no good trying to escape, Vi ! Out with 
 it. Wild freak or stern reality, I mean 
 to know all about it, as per usual."
 
 A Tale of the Queens Navy. 267 
 
 " And I suppose I must tell you, as per 
 usual," said she, nestling close to him. 
 "K you had not been such a good boy, 
 I would not say a single word. It was 
 all through that nasty brute— yes, I mean 
 it. Brute Bentley. How I hate him ! 
 What do you think he had the audacity 
 to do ? " she asked, indignantly, almost 
 crying with vexation. " He actually kissed 
 me ! me I knowing how I hate him, and 
 I'm co7ivinced that those Eoper girls saw 
 him and enjoyed it ! " 
 
 " He is a brute ! " said Dicky, emphati- 
 cally. "But you could easily have refused 
 to dance with him again. I don't see 
 why you should have been afraid.'' Again 
 Yi coloured painfully, and hid her face 
 on her brother's shoulder before reply- 
 ing. " Oh, Dicky," she said, " it was 
 very stupid of me to be such a coward, 
 but he looked at me so strangely that I 
 couldn't help it then. Besides, Dicky, it 
 — it was not an ordinary kiss — perhaps
 
 268 Chum : 
 
 I shouldn't have minded that, you know ! " 
 she said, with a little laugh — " but, he 
 did not kiss my face — he leant over me 
 ever so roughly, and kissed me on the 
 neck — twice ! " 
 
 "The deuce, he did!" muttered Dicky. 
 
 '•But I was a muff to be frightened," 
 said Yi, springing up ; " and I repeat that 
 he's a nasty brute, and I hate him.'' 
 
 " 1 shall let him know what a cad I 
 think him," said Dicky. " But you and 
 I are not likely to have much more to 
 do with him, little woman." 
 
 " I most fervently trust not, dear ; he's 
 not half good enough for us, and we 
 have had too much of him already." 
 
 "And of his kisses too, eh, Yi? con- 
 found him ! It is consoling to know that 
 he can't last long. He's sure to be kicked 
 out of the service, sooner or later." 
 
 " I'd kick him myself, with pleasure," 
 said Yi, viciously. 
 
 "Always provided that the latc^st fashion,
 
 A Tale of the Queens Xavy. 269 
 
 would allow of it," laughed Dicky. " Don't 
 go yet ; there's no hurry," he continued, 
 as Vi made preparations for moving ; ''I 
 want you to tell me what the uncle said 
 about our poor governor, when you 
 managed to get him on the subject the 
 other day." 
 
 " Of course vou do ; I had foro-otten," 
 said Yi, reseating herself. " I'm sorry to 
 say that there's not much to tell. You 
 know how seldom we can o-et him to 
 mention his lost brother at all. The dear 
 mater died when we were so youno- that 
 it seems quite natural to suppose that we 
 never had one at all ; but, the father ! I 
 can just remember him^ and that dreadful 
 shipA\Teck, when he and Mary were 
 drowned." 
 
 " What did the uncle saj' about him ? " 
 
 " He could only answer a few of my 
 
 questions. Our father must have been 
 
 his favourite brother ; but I think there 
 
 was somethina* wronsf between them at
 
 270 Chums : 
 
 the last ; something that happened ahnost 
 on the very day of the wreck, as far as 
 I can gather from pumping the uncle ; 
 poor old dear ! Mary appears to have 
 received nearly all our father's love, after 
 the poor mater died. Can you remember 
 Mary at all, Dicky ? " 
 
 " No, I think. How much older was 
 she ? " 
 
 " More than a year. Poor Mary ! How 
 jolly it would be to have a sister ! How 
 far back can you remember me ? " 
 
 " Remember you, Yi ! Why, I almost 
 believe that you were me at one time, so 
 much were we together ! Eemember you ! 
 Why when I try to think what the 
 governor was like and what / used to 
 have to do with him, I can only remember 
 a tall man with a beard ; but sitting and 
 laughing on his shoulder — is Vi. If I try 
 to picture to myself the mater — pretty 
 and jolly, as the uncle says she was — 
 and to wonder Avhether she cared much
 
 A Tale of the Queeiis Navy. 271 
 
 for me, I can only manage to conjure 
 up an image, which I suppose to be her ; 
 but, lying in her lap, pinching her cheeks 
 and pulling her hair — is Vi. I remember 
 our little wooden crib — Yi is in it. The 
 old perambulator even, I sometimes think 
 I can recognise — Yi is sitting in it ! Broken 
 dolls ! — Yi is playing with them. Was 
 I a crowing baby, or a cry baby !— It 
 is Yi who crows, or Yi who crys. There, 
 young Avoman, does that satisfy you ? 
 I really cannot remember when we started 
 our separate existence — -life on our own 
 account ; for, Avhenever I look back, your 
 wretched little carcass blocks the way, 
 and I am out of it." 
 
 "Dear old boy," said Yi ; "who would 
 imagine you to be so retiring ? And that 
 reminds me, I must retire. The uncle is 
 sure to ask in the morning at what time 
 I went to bed. The old darling ! What 
 would have become of us if he had been 
 drowned as well as our father ? Why,
 
 272 Chums: 
 
 there are the others I do beheve. Yes, it 
 is, really," she added, as the carriage 
 stopped at the door. " I shall run away. 
 Good-night, old fellow. I want to escape 
 tiresome questions," and she bolted up- 
 stairs just before Colonel and Mrs. Otto 
 rose Smith, Monkton, and Daintree entered. 
 The Miss Buttons had been given a lift 
 home by some of their numerous friends. 
 
 " Here we are, Mr. Dicky, dead beat," 
 said Mrs. 0. S. throwing herself back 
 into a comfortable arm-chair. " Was that 
 dear child so very tired ? " 
 
 "A little, I think. She's just gone to 
 bed." 
 
 "Ah, over-excitement. I hope you 
 made her take something before going 
 up ? Won't you sit down ? " she con- 
 tinued, turning to Monkton. " I see they 
 have left out some supper for us." 
 
 " We thank you," said Cecil, " we must 
 be off. Early work to-morrow. ' Paying- 
 ofF day,' you know."
 
 ^4 Tale of the Queens Xavy. 
 
 " Just one B. and S. before you go, 
 then," suggested tlie colonel ; " or a gin 
 and tonic, eh ? " 
 
 Quick ! we have but a second, 
 
 Fill round the cup while you may ; 
 
 For Time, the churl, hath Leckon'd, 
 And we must away, away ! 
 
 " Moore says that, so we'll e'en take 
 his advice, have our liquors, and be off," 
 said Cecil. 
 
 "All putting up at the 'Nut?'" asked 
 the colonel. 
 
 "Yes; to-night we have our last sleep 
 at the old ' Nut ' for some time to come. 
 Then for leave and half-pay." 
 
 And, having swallowed their drinks, the 
 three " Thunderbombs " squeezed into a 
 hansom, and drove off to the Hard. 
 
 END OF VOL. I.
 
 UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS-URBANA