TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL; 
 
 A NOVEL. 
 
 IN THREE VOLUMES. 
 
 Diego. — Mungo, can you be honest? 
 MrxGO.— Vat you give me, Massa ? 
 
 VOL. I. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 HENRY COLBURN, NEW BURLINGTON-STREET. 
 
 1827.
 
 SHACKKLL AND CO., JOHNSON .'-COURT, FLRKT STREK
 
 7f 
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 The venal will be bought, the base have lords. 
 
 Thomson. 
 
 The shop of Francis Lathergills, hair-dresser 
 and perfumer from London, was the general 
 rendezvous of all the politicians and male gossips, 
 in the genteel little town of Truckleborough. 
 From seven ^in the morning, till ten at night, 
 £ any one might pop in and ask what news from 
 ; France ? Nobody cares now about news from 
 France, but it was quite another affair about 
 thirty }*ears ago, or more. One fine evening, 
 about the latter end of September, as the said 
 
 VOL. I. B
 
 % TRUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 
 
 F. Lathergills was standing at his shop door, 
 and looking up and down the street, as if to 
 catch some stray idler, for a half hour's 
 discussion on the state of Europe, a carriage, 
 drawn by four post horses, whirled rapidly 
 round the corner, and instead of stopping at the 
 King's head, made the best of its way through 
 the town. Our politician followed the vehicle 
 with his eyes, and with his conjectures; but the 
 first reached to a very short extent, and the 
 latter were exerted to no purpose. 
 
 It cannot be known how long the worthy 
 citizen might have remained in suspense, had it 
 not been for the apropos arrival of his friend 
 and tutor, philosopher North. Here, perhaps, 
 some explanation may be necessary. It may 
 puzzle some heads to discover, how a hair- 
 dresser and perfumer, in a country town, could 
 be pupil to a philosopher. The fact was simply 
 this. Stephen Bardolph North, Esq., as his 
 tradesmen called him in their bills, or Citizen 
 North, as he called himself, in his own talk, and
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 3 
 
 writing, was a gentleman, who had been indebted 
 to Westminster School for a knowledge of the 
 existence, and an acquaintance with some of the 
 peculiarities of the Greek and Latin tongues, 
 and who was also under obligations to his father 
 for not wasting much more than half the wealth 
 which his grandfather had amassed, as a money 
 scrivener, in the city of London. This gentleman, 
 or citizen, had even in his earliest youth, almost as 
 soon as he could articulate, manifested a decided 
 contempt for the pomps and vanities of this wicked 
 world. He had no delight in gaudy apparel, and 
 it is even reported of him that he once did actually 
 burn a plume of ostrich feathers, which had 
 adorned his mother's head, alleging, as an ex- 
 cuse or alleviation of the offence, that he could 
 not see the use of that which was of no use. 
 Some of his friends were apprehensive that he 
 would become a quaker, but he always held 
 that sect in abhorrence, for their ungrammatical 
 substitution of " thee " for " thou ;" and he has 
 occasionally whispered other objections not worth
 
 4 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 repeating. So far, however, did he love plain- 
 ness and simplicity, that he most ardently 
 longed to see society divested of what Mr. Burke 
 calls its Corinthian capital ; and his conduct as 
 he grew towards man's estate, manifested rather 
 a desire to effect political than religious refor- 
 mations. He 4iad uniformly adhered to the 
 established church, so far as adherence consists 
 in not frequenting conventicles. He married at 
 an early age, and had been deprived, by death, of 
 his partner, soon after the birth of a daughter, 
 whose education formed his chief employment. 
 For the purpose of retirement, he had chosen 
 for his residence, a neat and compact little cot- 
 tage, called the Ivy Cottage, just at the entrance 
 of the town of Truckleborough. Here did he 
 ive with his daughter and two domestics, and, 
 till the breaking out of the French revolution, 
 was only known as a singular and retired sort of 
 man; but when that momentous event took 
 place, a new impetus was given to Mr. North's 
 feelings, and he was all philosophy, patriotism,
 
 TRUCKLEBOKOUGH HALL. O 
 
 and perfectibility. At one period of his life he 
 was seldom seen in the town, and his walks were 
 mostly limited to his own garden; but when the 
 mighty political movements commenced on the 
 continent, he was visible every day, swallowing 
 with eagerness all intelligence from France, and 
 commenting on that intelligence in language not 
 always most acceptable to his auditors. The 
 town of Truckleborough was, in fact, the worst 
 place in the world for Mr. North to display 
 his patriotism, or his eloquence. One-half of 
 the natives cared nothing about the matter, 
 and the other half thought philosophy was 
 magic, patriotism treason, and eloquence sedi- 
 tion. In the person of Francis Lathergills, 
 however, Mr. North had one attentive hearer, 
 and almost a convert ; yet the said perfumer, 
 with all his disposition to adopt Mr. North's 
 political creed, did not find his comprehension 
 keep pace with his inclination, and was fre- 
 quently surprised at meeting with difficulties
 
 6 TEUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 which he could not unravel, and inferences 
 which he had not anticipated : but to do Mr. 
 Lathergills justice, it must be acknowledged that 
 Mr. North himself was occasionally in the 
 same predicament. So much for the philoso- 
 pher's mind. As to his person, he was tall, rather 
 round shouldered, with an aquiline nose, dark 
 full eyes, remarkably fine set of teeth, deep 
 toned, almost sepulchral, voice ; not much given 
 to smiling, but able to express contempt with a 
 most exquisite sneer. His gait was something 
 like that which Sallust attributes to Catiline, 
 sometimes quick and sometimes slow; but he 
 was a far better man than Catiline — he was no 
 conspirator ; he had neither taste nor talent for 
 plots : he had more the spirit of a martyr or 
 confessor, than that of a deep designer. Such 
 was the person that greeted the hair-dresser at 
 the moment above named. 
 
 " Whose carriage is that ?" cried the pro- 
 fessor of perfumery, after the first salutation.
 
 TRUCKLEBOBOUGH HALL. 7 
 
 " That carriage P" replied the philosopher ; 
 u contains no less a personage than Lord Slen- 
 der, the new proprietor of this borough.'' 
 
 There was after this reply a dead pause, as if 
 tutor and pupil had mutually complimented 
 each other with an opportunity of launching 
 into a satirical discussion concerning rotten 
 boroughs and undue influence. But the subject 
 had been perhaps exhausted, or they were seeking 
 for some new mode of illustration, or fresh flowers 
 of rhetoric ; so it was, that they stood silent for 
 a few minutes, gazing up the street through 
 which the carriage had passed. The philosopher 
 at last broke silence. 
 
 " This system cannot last ; the people's eyes 
 will soon be opened. Now, there goes a man 
 whom we have never seen, of whom we know 
 nothing that is good ; and he, by the means of 
 paltry pelf, commands the suffrages of every in- 
 dividual in this borough. In the course of a 
 few weeks a new parliament will be called
 
 8 TRUCKLEBOKOUGH HALL. 
 
 together. The two men who have hitherto re- 
 presented this borough will cease to occupy 
 their seats, and the very people who did choose 
 them with such apparent cordiality a few years 
 ago, will now displace them for two strangers, of 
 whose principles they have not the slightest 
 knowledge. All this is called influence ; it is 
 more than influence ; it is tyranny of the basest 
 kind, and the slaves who stoop to be thus made 
 merchandize of, are the most abject grovellers 
 that ever lived." 
 
 " That is exactly my way of thinking," replied 
 the perfumer. " I never shave the town-clerk 
 without giving him a bit of my mind, and he 
 seems sometimes quite puzzled by my argu- 
 ments. I once asked him plainly, how he could 
 prove that the million was made to be slaves to 
 one man, and he could not answer me. He 
 knows well enough, that the wisest plan is to 
 make the best for himself, and let discussion 
 alone. Lord, Sir, I have been thinking what a
 
 TRUCKLEBOBOUGH HALL. V 
 
 fine thing it would be, if you, now, or some 
 gentleman of your way of thinking, should just 
 give a few lectures on the principles of true and 
 proper government. You know what I mean ? 
 " Do you think, friend Lathergills, that I 
 should have any thing of an audience ? — I rather 
 fear that I should have to address empty 
 benches, or, perhaps, be favoured only with 
 your company — and, perhaps, before I had well 
 finished, I might be saluted by the entrance of 
 a constable or two to lead me to the town gaol. 
 The magistrates, in this place, are most violent 
 tories and alarmists. But, to be sure, there 
 might be some good done ; and should I be 
 even a martyr to my principles, I might thus 
 kindle a flame whicn should not easily be 
 extinguished. To tell you the truth, I have 
 been thinking over the subjsct, and as I expect 
 a friend soon from London, a man of sound and 
 steady principles, we may talk the matter over. 
 I have received, lately, some very important 
 communications from the Corresponding Society, 
 b 3
 
 10 TRUCKLEBOIiOUGH HALL. 
 
 and there are many things, which I flatter my- 
 self might be made useful to the world." 
 
 Mr. Lathergills was about to reply, or more 
 properly speaking, had begun to reply, by say- 
 ing, " Mr. North, I tell you what ; my notion 
 of liberty is that " 
 
 Here he was most unfortunately and rudely 
 interrupted by a shrill female -voice, in the little 
 parlour, at the back of the shop, calling out, 
 " Lathergills, why don't you come in and 
 mind your business ? here's the man waiting for 
 Dr. Mufflechops , wig, and you know it isn't 
 half done.'" 
 
 Mr. North did not wait to hear what was 
 Mr. Lathergills' s notion of liberty. Mrs. Lather- 
 gills had also her peculiar notions on the sub- 
 ject of liberty. The philosopher left the loving 
 couple to their own speculations, and sauntered 
 up the street, to have a few words with the 
 landlord of the King's Head. Mr. Flatman, the 
 landlord, received him with a polite bow, which 
 the philosopher did not think fit to return ; for
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 11 
 
 it was his opinion, that bowing was not fit for 
 free and enlightened men, inasmuch as it bore 
 the aspect of servility and degradation. 
 
 " Have you seen a paper to-day, Mr. North ?" 
 said the man of hospitality. " Sad goings on in 
 France, Sir ! very sad— more murders, more 
 massacres; why, those people think no more 
 of kinp;s than of constables ; nor half so much, I 
 believe, for I don't suppose that the corporation 
 here would behead our constable? without judge 
 or jury like, just for nothing, as a body may 
 say. What harm did the poor King of France 
 ever do— I should like to know ?" 
 
 " And what good did he ever do ?'' said Mr. 
 North, with all the gravity of an oracle. 
 
 "Good ? — why I don't know, but I dare say 
 he was as good as our own king, God bless 
 him T 
 
 " Very likely;'' said Mr. North. 
 
 " Then what did they cut off his head for ? 
 Why could not they let him alone ? I dare say 
 they won't get a better."
 
 12 
 
 TItUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 " The people of France, Mr. Flatman, are 
 an enlightened people. They have seen the ab- 
 surdity of surrendering themselves to be tram- 
 pled on by a man, or by any set of men ; they 
 have resolved to be free, and they are free ; 
 they heard of liberty, and were resolved to par- 
 take of it. Their king deceived and betrayed 
 them ; they were compelled, in their own defence, 
 to the extremity of which you speak. I am 
 sorry for the king, as a man'; but I consider him 
 only as a man, and his death, in the eye of 
 reason and philosophy, is no more than the 
 death of any other man," 
 
 " Well, Sir," replied the host, with a tone of 
 humility, " I don't understand any thing about 
 reason and philosophy, but it does seem to me, 
 that there is a mighty difference between cutting 
 off a king's head, and cutting off the head of a 
 common man. Why, now, the other day, you 
 know, there was poor Dick Sharp hung for 
 sheep-stealing, and nobody thought any thing 
 about it ; but if the mayor, or my Lord Slender
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 13 
 
 should be hung, I think there would be a little 
 more fuss made about it. But, perhaps. Sir, 
 you will walk in, and look at the papers.'" 
 
 Mr. North walked into the little back room, 
 where he found his daily oracle, and was soon 
 deeply engaged in perusing the proceedings of 
 the revolutionists. Glad was he to find that the 
 affairs of the republicans were so flourishing ; 
 delighted at their victories, which he believed in 
 all their full extent, but of their reverses he had 
 his doubts. Some of their severities he was 
 inclined to blame, lest they might throw dis- 
 credit on the cause of liberty. While he was 
 thus delightfully engaged, his host entered, and 
 brought, together with a tankard of ale, a small 
 parcel, which had been sent down from the hall, 
 directed to S. B. North, Esq., Truckleborough. 
 
 " One of my Lord Slender's servants, Sir, 
 brought this parcel just now to me, asking 
 where you resided ; and so, as you were in the 
 house, I thought I might as well bring it to 
 you."
 
 14 TRUCKLEJBOBOUGH HALL. 
 
 " Thank you, Mr. Flatman, thank you; I 
 don't wish lords' lacquies to find their way to 
 my house — the very sight of a livery is odious 
 to me ; it is a badge of slavery." 
 
 " Why no, Sir, surely not ; I can assure you 
 that these livery fellows don't have much slavery 
 in their places. I remember that when I was 
 butler to old Sir Thomas Evergreen up at the 
 hall, there were four fellows in livery there, who 
 didn't do work enough to pay for the lace that 
 was round their hats." 
 
 The philosopher smiled, but replied not ; for 
 he knew that his host would have the last word, 
 inasmuch as he considered the last word in an 
 argument the best. As soon as the landlord 
 retired, and our politician was left once more to 
 himself, he began, with a host of conjectures, to 
 open his parcel. — What could it be ? Surely 
 Lord Slender had net been made use of to con- 
 vey any communications from the Constitutional 
 Society ; though it had been whispered that his 
 lordship's whiggism had been the means of
 
 TRUCKLEB0R0UGH HALL. 15 
 
 bringing him into acquaintance with some of 
 that society. Doubts were soon at an end, the 
 parcel was* opened, and there appeared a book 
 and a letter. The superscription of the letter 
 was legible enough, it was in the well-known 
 hand writing of Geoffry Turnstile, who had been 
 for many years the intimate friend and com- 
 panion of Mr. North— but the address of the 
 letter was not as it had been in former commu- 
 nications — " Citizen North," but " S. B. North, 
 Esq." This was rather perplexing ; and much 
 more perplexing was the title of the book : 
 viz. " Reflections on the devolution in France 
 &c, by Edmund Burke." That such a book 
 as this should be sent by such a man as Geoffry 
 Turnstile, was, of all astonishing events, the most 
 astonishing. But the letter, when opened, ex- 
 plained the whole mystery. It was as follows : 
 
 t{ My dear North, 
 " You will, perhaps, be a little surprised at 
 the appearance of the enclosed volume from me.
 
 16 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 You may recollect how merry we made our- 
 selves on the subject of it the last time we met, 
 though neither of us had read it. Soon after 
 you left me, and I was meditating on the pro- 
 posal which you had made of giving a few lec- 
 tures on constitutional subjects, I thought that 
 if we should read over attentively this vaunted 
 treatise, we might be better able to explode 
 its fallacies. With this view, I went imme- 
 diately to Dodsley's to buy a copy, and whom 
 should I see in the shop but our old school-fel- 
 low, Slender ? I was ashamed to ask for the 
 book in his hearing ; for, though he pretends to 
 whig politics, he has very different notions of 
 the French revolution and parliamentary reform, 
 from those that we have always professed ; and 
 he has been all along a complete disciple of 
 Burke. I pretended, therefore, not to observe 
 him, and amused myself with some pamphlets 
 which were lying on the counter. He soon re- 
 cognised me, however, and addressed himself to 
 me very familiarly, and in the course of con-
 
 TRUCKLEBOUOUGH HALL 17 
 
 versation brought up the subject of Burke's re- 
 flections, and concluded by asking me, as a per- 
 sonal favour, to read the book. I took a copy 
 home with me, and soon after received an invi- 
 tation to dine at Slender's house in town, where 
 I met Burke. I was, of course, in expectation 
 of some splendid table-talk after dinner, but was 
 sadly disappointed, for the conversation was 
 most languidly dragged on by common-place 
 assertions, which no mortal could answer by any 1 s 
 other than monosyllables of assent and dissent. 
 At length, by way of exciting this genius, I 
 ventured to mention Paine's Rights of Man. 
 Mr. Burke very coolly "said, ' that he had read 
 it, and that he thought it a very weak and trashy 
 production.' I added, c that it appeared some- 
 what plausible in its arguments, and calculated 
 to make on some minds a very powerful im- 
 pression.' c No, Sir,' said Burke ; 6 it may 
 make an impression on some persons, but not 
 any that have minds; it is plausible only to
 
 18 TRUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 
 
 those who cannot feel, and will not think — it 
 pretends to be founded on general principles, 
 but only appeals to partial and temporary pre- 
 judices — its title may be remembered, but its 
 arguments will be forgotten.' Of course, I did 
 not affect to lead such a man into a controversy ; 
 and if I had designed it, I should have been 
 disappointed, for the honourable gentleman soon 
 left us to wait upon his grace of Portland. Soon 
 after his departure, I ventured to hint to my 
 noble host that I was rather disappointed in the 
 great man's table-talk. ' Yes,' said Slender, 
 * just at this crisis he is not much at private 
 tables, for his thoughts are all for the public. 
 You never heard him in the house ; there it is 
 that he shines, though he is now and then 
 rather incomprehensible, and a little above the 
 country gentlemen in his metaphysics. By the 
 way, Turnstile, I know you are fond of meta- 
 physics and politics ; now, if your politics were 
 not quite so Frenchified and republican, I think
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL 19 
 
 you might make a very tolerable figure in the 
 house ; what say you to the attempt ? I don't 
 imagine you will find much difficulty in coming 
 in for Truckleborough. I know,' continued he, 
 6 that it may not quite comport with your no- 
 tions of parliamentary reform, but you must 
 give up that crotchet/ In short, my dear fellow, 
 this Lord Slender has absolutely offered, out of 
 pure regard to an old acquaintance, with a little 
 compliment to a certain person's talents and in- 
 tegrity, to help me to a seat in a certain house, 
 as representative of a certain borough, where my 
 good friend, Citizen North, condescends to take 
 up his residence ; and, in due time, the return- 
 ing officer of the said borough will declare the 
 Honourable Mr. Slender and GeofFry Turn- 
 stile, Esq. as being duly elected, &c. Seriously 
 — I have read this vaunted book, and there cer- 
 tainly is something in it. It is clearly a book 
 fit for gentlemen — for men of elevated feeling; 
 it does not stoop to attract the rabble by flatter-
 
 20 TRUCK LEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 ing their passions, or encouraging that spirit 
 which would destroy every thing venerable in 
 the constitution ; nor is it altogether so complete 
 an abandonment of the principles of liberty as 
 some persons have represented. I am free to 
 acknowledge it has shaken some of my notions ; 
 or, more properly speaking, rectified and sobered 
 them : for you know I never went to those ex- 
 cesses in my notions of liberty, which you have 
 done. 1 have some hopes the perusal of the 
 volume may have some good effect on you ; for 
 if you will but think a little calmly, rather of 
 what man really is, than what you, in your fever- 
 ish imagination, think he ought to be, you will 
 then be able to serve your country more effec- 
 tually. But, enough for the present. I hope 
 soon to see you at Truckleborough, for I shall 
 pay a visit to the worthy and independent electors 
 in a very few days. In the meanwhile, read the 
 inclosed, and follow my example in cutting all 
 connection with the Constitutional Society — you
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 21 
 
 will save your credit, and, perhaps, your neck, 
 and will be more useful to the world. Farewell 
 for the present. 
 
 " Yours, most faithfully, 
 
 " Geoffry Turnstile." 
 
 This said Geoffry Turnstile was the very 
 man to whom Citizen North was looking up, as 
 his steady and sure-principled friend : he had 
 been the means of introducing the philosopher to 
 an acquaintance with some of the choicest spirits 
 of the day, and had absolutely effected an inti- 
 macy, for a time,between Stephen BardolphNorth 
 and Thomas Paine. This Turnstile had been, 
 as it were, Mr. North's London agent for 
 sedition and jacobinism, the prompter of his 
 wildest thoughts, and the abettor of his maddest 
 schemes. Miserable was the disappointment, 
 therefore, with which he perused this letter, and 
 dark was the scowl of contempt, which he threw 
 on the book, by which his best friend's best prin- 
 ciples had become perverted. Twice, yea thrice,
 
 22 TEUCXLEBOEOUGH HALL. 
 
 did he read the letter over, to be sure that his senseg 
 had not deceived him. Again and again did he look 
 at that most hated volume, till the book seemed, to 
 his heated imagination, almost instinct with life, 
 and till he could fancy the author's spirit sensibly 
 present to hear his contemptuous reproaches. 
 Mr. North was too much of a philosopher to be : 
 in a very great passion : but he was at the same 
 time, too much of a man, not to feel most keenly 
 disappointed at the defection of one of his surest 
 allies. Thus situated, his first impulse was to 
 throw the odious book into the fire, and he 
 obeyed the impulse : and his next was to put his 
 friend's letter into the same road to oblivion; but 
 the flames which ascended from Burke's reflec- 
 tions, consumed the anger of the philosopher, and 
 he put the letter in his pocket, and walked 
 home ; wondering all the way at the baseness, 
 and meanness, and littleness, and blindness, and 
 infatuation of all men who could, either directly 
 or indirectly, flatter or countenance nobles ; and 
 astonished that Geoffry Turnstile, of all men in
 
 TEUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 23 
 
 the world, after what he had thought, said, and 
 written on the subject of rotten boroughs, and 
 parliamentary reform — that he should, at this 
 crisis, when every spark of patriotism was so 
 important to keep alive the flame of liberty — that 
 he should stoop to creep into parliament through 
 the dirty postern of a rotten borough ! What a 
 fever of inward eloquence was burning in the 
 bosom of Stephen Bardolph North, as he moved 
 slowly towards his own dwelling ! But the fever 
 a little abated at the sight of home. He saw 
 his affectionate and guileless daughter waiting 
 at the door to receive him, for he had exceeded 
 his usual time of absence ; it was a cool even- 
 ing, and he was not of a very robust consti- 
 tution, and his only child was anxious for an 
 only parent ; and she looked very glad to see 
 him return, and he was delighted that she had 
 been impatient for his coming home. 
 
 It is hardly worth while to describe a cottage, 
 especially an ivy cottage : such objects may be 
 seen every day. It is enough that this was like
 
 24 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 many others, but it had no fanciful decorations, 
 no sentimentalities either within or without. 
 There was no grotto in the garden ; it had not a 
 gothic door, or a Chinese roof; the windows were 
 not of painted or stained glass. It was merely 
 a neat, clean, small, commodious habitation, well 
 furnished with all that usually belongs to such 
 abodes, with the addition of a somewhat larger 
 library than is often seen in such retreats. The 
 library was the room that was most usually 
 occupied, and to that did the citizen betake 
 himself, leaning on his daughter's arm, and 
 sweetly rebuking her for standing at the open 
 door so late in the evening, when the wind was 
 so cold and chill.
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 25 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Your courtesies overwhelm me. 
 
 New Way to pay Old Debit. 
 
 About three days after this fatal and mournful 
 discovery of the apostacy of Geoffry Turnstile, 
 our hero, the philosopher, was sitting in his 
 library, and amusing himself with arranging a 
 syllabus of lectures on political philosophy, 
 when his daughter hastily entering the apart- 
 ment, told him that visitors were approaching. 
 The interruption was bad enough of itself, but 
 its bitterness was increased tenfold, when, on 
 looking out at the garden door, he perceived 
 that these visitors were no other than Lord 
 Slender, his son, the Honorable Charles Slen- 
 
 vol. i. c
 
 26 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 der, and Mr. Geoffry Turnstile: the two last 
 named gentlemen, being candidates for the 
 honor of representing in parliament the ancient 
 and venerable town of Truckleborough. As 
 the party approached nearer to the cottage, the 
 irritated citizen could discern that they all 
 seemed to wear election faces, smoothed over 
 with a most graceful and courteous smile of af- 
 fability. Now, herein Mr. North did not sym- 
 pathize with them. He made up his mind to 
 receive them with all the sternness of a citizen, 
 who scorns to barter liberty for noble smiles ; 
 but, on second thoughts, he resolved, just as they 
 approached the door, to receive them with com- 
 mon-place politeness. He bowed, they bowed, 
 he was glad to see them, and they were glad to 
 . and they did themselves the honor, as 
 they said, to call, and he was proud of the ho- 
 nor, and so they bowed and smiled, and bowed 
 and smiled again. 
 
 Lord Slender began a kind of apology for 
 intruding on Mr. North's solitude, which he
 
 TRUCKLEBOIIOUGH HALL. 27 
 
 seemed so unwilling to quit, and said something 
 about violating the rules of etiquette in making 
 the first call. Mr. North made a very courteous 
 reply, and expressed a sense of the honor 
 which his lordship had conferred upon his hum- 
 ble abode ; but while he was thus speaking, he 
 could not help thinking that he was rather be- 
 traying his principles, and sacrificing honesty on 
 the shrine of politeness. Mr. Turnstile had, com- 
 paratively, but little of his friend's attention, for 
 in the presence of a third person, such a person 
 too as his lordship, it would have been too bad 
 to have commenced an expostulation or reproof 
 for tergiversation ; and any other kind of con- 
 verse did not now exactly suit the philosopher's 
 feelings. 
 
 It was very fortunate for the party that the 
 room into which they had been introduced hap- 
 pened to be the library, for thus a topic of dis- 
 course was easily started by the means of books; 
 but for their aid, the interview would have re- 
 sembled a silent meeting of quakers. 
 c 2
 
 XO TRUCKLEBOKOUGH HALL. 
 
 " You have an extensive library, Mr. North," 
 said his lordship. " Books are very good com- 
 panions, very good resources in bad weather ; for 
 my part, I can't say I am very partial to reading, 
 when out of door amusements are to be had — 
 You shoot I suppose — shall be very happy to give 
 you a day's sport during the season." 
 
 Now it came to pass, that Mr. North had 
 never pulled the trigger of a loaded gun in all his 
 life, and he was also of opinion, that it was rather 
 an act of cruelty to shed blood in sport ; above 
 all, he abhorred the game laws ; and then to hear 
 an offer made him from a borough-monger of a 
 day's sport — one day's sport during the season, 
 such niggard liberality, such aristocratic conde- 
 scension ; he, therefore, did not make the most 
 courteous, or the most ready reply to this prof- 
 fered kindness, but very deliberately said — 
 
 " I thank you, my lord, for your offer, but 
 I prefer the bloodless sports of my library.*" 
 
 " Very good, very good," said his lordship ; 
 " but you may have a day's shooting without
 
 TRUCKI.EBOEOUGH HALL. 29 
 
 shedding much blood. Here's Your friend, Mr 
 Turnstile, has been amusing himself this morn- 
 ing with wasting my powder, and frightening 
 my birds, and he thinks that one brace of birds 
 might vield sport a dozen times over, as the 
 stag that's turned out for the cockneys on Easter 
 Mondav. ~ 
 
 Of all things in the world, Citizen North did 
 not like banter : he was himself a pattern and 
 very paragon of gravity. He could not see the 
 use of a joke, and was grievously nettled if he 
 had any suspicion that he was made an object of 
 ridicule. He set down Lord Slender as a 
 very weak and foolish man, and he was deter- 
 mined that he would have no friendly intercourse 
 with him. 
 
 <; By the way, Mr. North," continued his 
 lordship, t; what, think you of the design of 
 your friend offering himself as a candidate for 
 this borough ? He has good whig principles, 
 though he does not carry them quite so far as 
 he formerly did.'"
 
 30 TRUCKLEBOKOUGH HALL. 
 
 " Mr. Turnstile certainly has a right to 
 propose himself to the electors of Truckle- 
 borough, and if he gains their unbiassed suf- 
 frages he will be fairly entitled to a seat in the 
 house ." 
 
 " Well, well, Mr. North, I understand what 
 you allude to by unbiassed suffrages. I know 
 your opinions on the subject of parliamentary 
 reform — but depend upon it you can never hope 
 to see such a change in the representation as 
 some of you gentlemen talk about ; those who 
 are deeper in the secrets of state than the 
 politicians out of doors, know it all to be a 
 complete farce. One of the most violent and 
 eloquent advocates for the measure, I need not 
 mention names, said to me, after he had been 
 speaking two hours in the house in favour of a 
 speedy and thorough reform, ' I wonder that 
 the people don't see through the hollowness of 
 such a speech as I have just delivered; but we 
 shall have all the papers to-morrow full of the 
 subject, and some fools will be ready to lay bets
 
 TRUCKLE BOROUGH HALL. 31 
 
 on the success of the measure.' These were his 
 very words." 
 
 " I am sorry, my lord, to hear you express 
 such an opinion : I do hope that there is not 
 quite so much insincerity in all the advocates 
 for popular measures, as in the gentleman to 
 whom you have just alluded. I am ready to 
 acknowledge that there does not seem any great 
 disposition on the part of parliament itself to 
 reform and purify the mode of election ; but 
 when the necessity of the measure is felt, and 
 when the voice of an unanimous and enlightened 
 people shall demand reform, it must be granted." 
 
 " Certainly, certainly, Mr. North ; but, in the 
 mean time, we must make the best of things as 
 they are." 
 
 Philosopher North did not like time-serving 
 principles and conduct ; and had he not been 
 fearful of expressing that dislike too strongly 
 for courtiers, he might have replied to the last 
 observation : but he was wisely silent. Then
 
 S£ TRUOKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 turning to Mr. Turnstile, who was occupied in 
 reading the backs of the books, he said, 
 
 " You see, Mr. Turnstile, I have not made 
 any addition to my library since your last visit." 
 
 " I see," replied the candidate, " none but 
 the old stock ; but there have been several 
 popular, and some valuable works published since 
 your library was formed. I almost wonder that 
 a man of your taste should have neglected 
 them." 
 
 " As to works of taste," said the philosopher, 
 " I have as many as I can read; and as to politics 
 — my mind is so made up, that I am not desirous 
 of confusing the distinctness or endangering the 
 vividness of my ideas on that subject. I do 
 not need books to convince me that tyranny 
 is unjust ; and I will not read books that at- 
 tempt to palliate oppression." 
 
 There was a degree of asperity in the tone with 
 which this last speech was uttered. It was not 
 pleasant to the hearer, nor altogether satisfactory
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 33 
 
 to the speaker — for the zealous citizen had the 
 feelings of human nature about him, and he did 
 not feel quite at ease in any thing like cool 
 behaviour to an old friend and intimate. Some, 
 degree of embarrassment and awkwardness would 
 have invaded the little group in the cottage 
 library, had it not been for the timely interrup- 
 tion given by the Hon. Mr. Slender, who ventured 
 to express a wish that Mr. North's political 
 opinions might not deprive the party of the 
 pleasure of his company to dinner next day 
 at the Hall. 
 
 There was something in the tone of the young 
 man's voice that mightily pleased the citizen : 
 there was an indication of a free and noble 
 spirit; there was a kind of courtesy that did not 
 bear the character of artifice and form. For, 
 notwithstanding Mr. North's own hardness of 
 manner, and stern republicanism of expression, 
 there were movements and feelings in his mind 
 which could meet and sympathize with natural 
 courtesy of manner. By the influence of this 
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 36 TRUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL, 
 
 Philosopher North after his visitors had left 
 him. 
 
 His feelings on their departure were not 
 more agreeable than they had been at their 
 meeting. He found himself now pledged to a 
 social and festive interview with men whose 
 principles he abhorred, and upon an occasion 
 most of all repugnant to his ideas of political 
 propriety. He expected also to meet some of 
 the heads of the corporation of Truckleborough, 
 most probably the mayor and aldermen, and the 
 town-clerk ; not that the last-named was a voter, 
 but he was usually a partaker in all the enter- 
 tainments of the former, and they were, in fact, 
 nothing -without him ; and then there was the 
 rector of the parish, Dr. Mufflechops — and, per- 
 haps, his curate, Mr. Slapp; and then there 
 was to be expected a toast or two after dinner, 
 which would be too much for the philosopher 
 to swallow ; and he did not much approve of 
 drinking toasts — and he thought that English- 
 men ought not to be too free in the consumption
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH H.ALL. 37 
 
 of an article so highly taxed as foreign wine. 
 Then, again, there would be such conversation 
 as he could not join in or even tolerate : and his 
 own sentiments must not be uttered or even 
 breathed. It was wearying to his spirit to dwell 
 on these thoughts, and he began to feel a kind 
 of conscientious repugnance to the engagement 
 he had made. His old friend and acquaintance 
 Turnstile also came into his thoughts ; and 
 though he had, during similarity in their senti- 
 ments, tolerated the apparent levity of his man- 
 ners, and his tendency to that species of wit, 
 called quizzing, yet now he felt assured that 
 such levity would be most offensive and dis- 
 gusting. In such thoughts he had passed an 
 hour or two when he was again interrupted by 
 the arrival of visitors, or more properly speaking, 
 by the return of one of his late visitors, and 
 the arrival of another — Louisa Slender accom- 
 panied by her brother the Honorable Charles 
 Slender. 
 
 With all the frankness of long acquaintance,
 
 88 TRUCKLEBOItOUGH HALL. 
 
 Charles Slender addressed himself to the almost 
 frowning philosopher — 
 
 " Mr. North, you must give me leave to intro- 
 duce my sister Louisa to your daughter.'" 
 
 " The lady does my daughter an honour,'"' re- 
 plied Mr. North; but the poor man did not say 
 what he thought, nor think what he said. 
 
 Miss North soon made her appearance : and 
 that the reader may know what that appearance 
 was, we will endeavour to describe it. In 
 stature, the fair maid did not surpass above one- 
 third of the sex, that is to say, she was not tall. 
 In form, not one-thirtieth of her sex could equal 
 her, that is to say, she was very well formed. 
 Her countenance was expressive of thoughtful- 
 ness, cheerfulness, and content; it had that 
 expression which looks like active resignation, 
 and it seemed as if the cares of womanhood had 
 encroached on the lightness of girlish vivacity. 
 She had been much alone ; her employment 
 was reading ; and her books had been selected 
 from a library, in the formation of which there
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 39 
 
 was more trace of the philosopher than the man 
 of taste ; light reading she had never known. 
 Of the world she knew comparatively little. 
 She could not believe all that she had read, and 
 yet she scarcely knew why she disbelieved it. 
 She had been accustomed to pity the oppressed, 
 but she almost doubted that man could possibly 
 be so cruel to his fellows. She had been habi- 
 tuated to her father's wayward humours, and 
 had caught some tinge of his melancholy, 
 whereby her native vivacity was abated, not 
 destroyed : and by this state of mind there was 
 an interesting expression given to a rather beau- 
 tiful set of features. Such was the general cast 
 of her manner and expression, that she seemed 
 to demand respect, without any assumption of 
 dignity to excite interest, and without any ob- 
 vious expression of deep feeling. Levity was 
 repelled by her without haughtiness, harshness 
 or coldness of manner. 
 
 Louisa Slender was a personage altogether
 
 40 TRUCKLEBOROUGH ttALL. 
 
 different. Her education had been in the world, 
 and her manners had been moulded by and to 
 its fashions. She did not understand the 
 world by books, but she interpreted books by 
 the world. Her countenance was beautiful, and 
 its expression commanding; she had an air 
 of stately affability and graceful condescension. 
 Her stature was tall and her carriage majestic ; 
 but she was not vain, or proud, or conceited. 
 In town, her society was agreeable to the opulent 
 and the cultivated ; in the country the poor 
 blessed the name and loved the sight of Louisa. 
 When these two ladies met they were well 
 pleased with each other, and though their man- 
 ners were so obviously different they were mu- 
 tually agreeable. Miss North was astonished 
 that fashionable manners could look so interest- 
 ing, and Louisa was equally surprised that 
 nature and solitude should have furnished a re- 
 cluse with such exquisite grace and true polite- 
 ness of manner. Each labouring under a very
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGII HALL. 41 
 
 common error, which supposes that fashion 
 makes nothing but monkies, and nature makes 
 nothing but brutes. 
 
 After the first salutations were passed, and 
 the succeeding silence broken, the conversation 
 between the ladies grew animated and lively, and 
 the philosopher himself was provoked to a slight 
 relaxation of his usual solemn look, and a little 
 softening of the usual harshness of his cynical 
 snarl. Louisa no longer appeared to him as the 
 frivolous daughter of a borough-monger, but 
 as a young lady of cultivated understanding, and 
 what was to him much dearer still, of liberal prin- 
 ciples. In answer to some observations, which 
 savoured more of the opinions of a republican 
 than of a daughter of aristocracy, Mr. North 
 replied, 
 
 " You astonish me, madam, by the expression 
 of such sentiments. Surely they cannot be de- 
 rived from the society in which you have recently 
 moved. Mr. Burke has not made so complete
 
 42 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 a convert of you as of Lord Slender, and my 
 friend Mr. Turnstile ? ,J 
 
 " Indeed, Mr. North, I scarcely know what 
 are the political opinions of Mr. Burke, and I 
 am sure I don't know what are my own, except 
 that I am no friend to passive obedience and 
 non-resistance. But what signifies the opinion 
 which we ladies entertain of public affairs ? We 
 are not capable of forming a sound judgment. 
 Our province is imagination, your*s is judgment."" 
 
 " Excuse me, madam, but I must beg leave 
 to differ from you. I do not see the conclusive- 
 ness of your reasoning. The female mind has 
 power and steadiness, and the opinions of wo- 
 men do rule and influence oftentimes the opinions 
 of men. We have read and heard of women 
 who have wielded sceptres, chosen ministers, 
 directed public measures, and have influenced 
 the fate of empires 1, and our own law of royal 
 succession recognises the power and aptitude 
 of the female mind to form opinions, and to ex-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROQGH HALL. 43 
 
 ercise commanding judgment on political mat- 
 ters." 
 
 " Really, Mr. North, if my reasoning is not 
 convincing to you, your's ought to be so to me, 
 for mere politeness must compel me to assent to 
 such a flattering reasoner.'' 
 
 u No flattery, madam, but fact is the ground 
 of my argument." 
 
 " Well, be it so ; but do you gentlemen, I 
 mean you who are so zealous for parliamentary 
 reform, do you carry this principle to its full 
 extent ? — Do you make it a part of your plan to 
 admit women to vote for members of parliament, or 
 do you,as in good truth you ought — do you think 
 that women should be candidates and eligible as 
 representatives ? If wome'n have wisdom enough 
 to rule states and govern empires ; if women can 
 be heads of the church, and direct the principles 
 and rites of worship; if they can be defenders of 
 the faith, then surely they are capable of know- 
 ing how to choose a representative for parliament,
 
 44 TRUOKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 and as capable of entering into the deliberations 
 of the national senate." 
 
 " You are now,'"* replied Mr. North, "carry- 
 ing the doctrine of universal suffrage rather be- 
 yond what has hitherto been considered its 
 greatest extreme : your sex has an influence al- 
 ready, silent indeed but powerful, and I question 
 whether you would gain an accession to your 
 real power by an acquisition of greater nominal 
 power." 
 
 " Very polite again, Mr. North ; but you 
 evade the question, which is, do you, or do you 
 not think that women have a natural right to a 
 voice in the legislature as well as men ?" 
 
 " They have a virtual power in the state, in- 
 asmuch as it is not to be supposed that a husband 
 should legislate to the injury of his wife, that a 
 father should make laws to oppress a daughter, 
 a brother to tyrannize over a sister, or a lover to 
 vote contrary to the interests of his mistress.'" 
 
 " Indeed, Sir, you seem to imagine, contrary
 
 TEL'CKLEBOHOUGH HALL. 45 
 
 to your usual habits, that a voice in the legisla- 
 ture increases the purity and disinterestedness of 
 those who enjoy it For in ordinary life we do 
 sometimes see a little leaning to tyranny in men 
 over their fair companions or dependents : and 
 is it not reasonable to suppose, that when the dis- 
 position exists, it is quite as likely to be indulged 
 in legislation as in domestic intercourse ? Be- 
 sides, only look at the laws which relate to 
 women, and are not they most manifestly the 
 work of men ?" 
 
 " Certainly, madam, I am not prepared to 
 denv that many arbitrary and tvrannical enact- 
 ments have been made ; and, perhaps, in strict 
 truth, women may have an abstract right to a 
 voice in the legislature, but the exercise of that 
 right may not be altogether practicable or con- 
 venient.'' 
 
 " Oh, if you reason about what is practicable 
 or convenient, you relinquish your proper field, 
 and give up the strength of the principle of re-
 
 46 TRUCKLF.EORCUGH HALL. 
 
 form, which is its abstract and indefeasible 
 right." 
 
 Mr. North did not seem disposed to extend 
 the discussion, he felt that Louisa was inclined 
 rather to banter than to reason, and he took 
 it for granted that her prejudices must be 
 essentially aristocratical. 
 
 " At all events, however," continued the 
 young lady, " I hope I may have the pleasure 
 of Miss North's company to-morrow — and I do 
 most faithfully promise you, that I will not 
 teach her anv principles at all hostile to filial 
 obedience." 
 
 Ci My daughter,'' said the philosopher, " has 
 been so much accustomed to home, that a day's 
 absence will be almost too much for her.'" 
 
 " Nay, nay," replied Louisa ; " Miss North 
 need not imagine herself away from home, but 
 only in an unusual apartment with me for a 
 companion ; for I shall be in absolute solitude 
 without her, as my father will be taken up with
 
 TliCCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 47 
 
 his gentlemen visitors : — and as I do not intend 
 to carry into practice my doctrine of ladies inter- 
 fering with politics, I shall keep nryself aloof 
 from the company, and I do hope that I may 
 be favoured with Miss North's society for the 
 day." 
 
 There could be no great objection to this 
 arrangement, only it seemed rather forming 
 too great an intimacy with aristocratical people ; 
 but there was an agreeableness of manner about 
 Louisa Slender that rendered her somewhat a 
 desirable companion for the daughter of a gen- 
 tleman of education ; and it was a pity that 
 there were scarcely any persons in that neigh- 
 bourhood of the middle rank who were not of 
 very uncultivated and frivolous minds. Under 
 these circumstances, Mr. North tolerated an ac- 
 quaintance, to which he would otherwise have 
 most strongly objected. But so it was, that his 
 friend Turnstile, having made a kind of forced 
 introduction to Lord Slender, and his lordship 
 being apparently not a very haughty man, it
 
 48 TllUCKLEEOltOUGH HALL. 
 
 would have appeared a great want of common 
 courtesy to repel his civilities; and with all 
 these circumstances it was still in his power to 
 uphold and contend for the pure principles of 
 political liberty. Miss North was therefore most 
 graciously permitted to spend the following day 
 with the peer's daughter ; and Mr. North made 
 up his mind to partake of the peer's hospitality, 
 and to encounter, with as good a grace as 
 possible, the mayor and aldermen of the vener- 
 able town of Truckleborough. 
 
 The visit of Louisa and her brother was con- 
 cluded amidst these meditations in the mind of 
 the philosopher ; and, thereupon, his counte- 
 nance brightened up ; and there seemed to be a 
 weight removed from his mind, for in the course 
 of the two interviews, and especially the last, he 
 had contrived to reconcile his principles with his 
 courtesv.
 
 TRUCKLEBOItOUGH HALL. 49 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Fill high the sparkling bowl, 
 The rich repast prepare. 
 
 Gray. 
 
 Our readers have not yet been introduced to 
 Truckleborough Hall, and it is now high time 
 that they should be made acquainted with a 
 mansion, to which all the upright, independent 
 and venerable electors of Truckleborough, were 
 in the habit of looking up with profound re- 
 spect and pleasing hope. The good men were 
 not adepts in the science of abstraction; they 
 could not imagine what meaning there could be 
 in any words which did not present to their 
 thoughts something tangible and solid ; and, to 
 their apprehension, the elective franchise meant 
 
 VOL. I. D 
 
 A
 
 50 TRUCKLEBOllOUGH HALL. 
 
 the run of the pantry and cellar at the hall, or 
 a post under government, or a contract, or a 
 living for a son, or brother, or constant employ- 
 ment, and liberal payment in the way of busi- 
 ness; and all these ideas were connected with 
 the hall, whoever might be its inhabitant ; 
 for it had changed owners, more than once, 
 during the memory of the then living burgesses. 
 The late possessor had spent but little of his 
 time there, for he found himself so continually 
 annoyed, by the invasions of the worth} and in- 
 dependent electors, that he could scarcely call 
 his time, or his house his own ; but he could 
 not remove himself out of the reach of the post- 
 office, and so, having no very particular interest to 
 serve by borough patronage, he was not sorry 
 to sell the concern to Lord Slender, who had 
 two sons, whom he wished to place in parlia- 
 ment. The youngest of them not being quite 
 of age at the time of which we are writing, his 
 lordship took the opportunity of filling the
 
 TRUC.KLEBOROUGH KALL. 51 
 
 vacant seat, with the person of the conformable 
 and elastic-minded Mr. Geoffry Turnstile. 
 
 Truckleborough Hall, now become the seat 
 of Lord Slender, was a large, plain-looking, 
 four-fronted building, that had been erected on 
 the scite of the old mansion, in the reign of 
 George II. We know nothing about the his- 
 tory of the old mansion, and we take it for 
 granted, that our readers care as little as we 
 know. The modern building was of mere brick 
 and mortar, having long narrow windows, a 
 straight ascent of steps to the principal entrance, 
 and was altogether a most decidedly unpic- 
 turesque object, flat, square, high and dingy. 
 Lord Slender had some idea of covering the 
 whole with stucco, in imitation of stone, and 
 making a few additions of an ornamental nature, 
 to render the mansion, as to its outward aspect, 
 a more suitable residence for a nobleman. 
 Within was the usual allowance of accommoda- 
 tions ; and whatever the amateurs of the fine 
 
 ss««
 
 52 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 arts, at Truckleborough, might think of the 
 external aspect of the mansion, the worthy and 
 independent electors found that within it was 
 elegant and commodious enough. 
 
 To this mansion, the mayor, and aldermen, 
 and town-clerk of Truckleborough were in- 
 vited, to honour his lordship with their company 
 at dinner. But long before the hour appointed 
 for the entertainment of the worthy and inde- 
 pendent (we need not say electors, for every 
 body knows that in a borough town, the words, 
 worthy and independent, can only apply to 
 electors) long before dinner time, did Miss 
 North hasten to fulfil her engagement with her 
 new friend, Louisa Slender. 
 
 When Miss North arrived at the hall, she 
 was immediately conducted to Louisa's apart- 
 ment. Her friend received her with the utmost 
 cordiality, and thanked her most heartily for 
 the punctually with which she had kept her 
 engagement.
 
 TRUCKLEBOltOUGH HALL. 53 
 
 <■ Now, my dear Miss North, exclaimed 
 Louisa, " this is very good of you to come to 
 my relief this unfortunate day." 
 
 " Unfortunate day!" replied Miss North, 
 " why unfortunate P 1 ' 
 
 « Oh— merely from the annoyance of a large 
 noisy party of these stupid electors. You have 
 not the slightest idea of the wearisomeness of 
 elections, to those persons who are most in- 
 terested, and who, in spite of their feelings, 
 must be all civility, and courtesy, and affabi- 
 lity. My poor father will be sadly distressed to- 
 day ; he must talk to all these people, and what 
 is worse, must hear them talk too, and that 
 most patiently and perseveringly, and he must 
 appear to be interested in what he only half 
 hears, and does not half understand." 
 
 " Really, my friend, I think you make too 
 much of these petty troubles. I cannot see any 
 great annoyance in a party of such respectable 
 men, as I suppose the corporation to be ; and 
 then, even if they should be in one or two in-
 
 54 TKUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 stances vulgar or noisy men, they will be on 
 their best behaviour to-day." 
 
 " Are you acquainted with them at all your- 
 self, or were you ever in any election party, my 
 dear friend ?" 
 
 " Oh, dear no — I never was in company with 
 any of the corporation ; and as for elections, I 
 only hear of them." 
 
 " Then you have a pleasure yet to come. — 
 But does not your father visit with any of the 
 corporation ? Is not he intimate with the clergy* 
 men, too ?" 
 
 " No— he has not the slightest intimacy with 
 any one of them ; he says that his principles will 
 not suffer him to have any intercourse with them." 
 
 (t I rather wonder that his principles will let 
 him have any intercourse with us, for we are all 
 of the same party as these worthy electors." 
 
 " I wonder, too ; for I have often heard him 
 speak very slightingly of titles, and honours, 
 and rank ; and sometimes he has actually said 
 in so many words, that kings, lords, and priests,
 
 TRUCKLEB0R0UGH HALL. 55 
 
 ought to be exterminated as the pests of society ; 
 but I suppose that his intolerance has yielded a 
 little to the circumstance of a slight personal 
 acquaintance with Lord Slender ; for I must do 
 my father the justice to say of him, that though 
 he hates titles, he can feel regard for those who 
 bear them, and I will venture to say, that were 
 it in his own power to execute the schemes of 
 which he sometimes talks, the nobility and 
 priesthood might wear their heads in as perfect 
 safety as they do now. 
 
 " But I think it is a pity that Mr. North 
 should suffer his political opinions to betray him 
 into such extravagances as I have heard they 
 do. It was but a few days before we came down 
 to Truckleborough, that I heard that it was his 
 intention to deliver a lecture here in the Town 
 Hall, on the principles of society, with a view of 
 teaching the worthy natives the doctrines of re- 
 publicanism and equality. Mr. Turnstile was 
 in the secret, and had at one time assisted him
 
 56 TRUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 
 
 with materials and prompted him to the under- 
 taking. v 
 
 " I believe that such was my father's inten- 
 tion," replied Miss North, " and I am not sure 
 that he has relinquished it yet. He does not 
 talk much to me on the subject, for I am rather 
 disposed to more moderate principles. I most 
 heartily wish that he could be diverted from such 
 pursuits ; for I am sometimes afraid his violence 
 will lead him into trouble." 
 
 " To tell you the truth, my dear Miss North, 
 I have fears of the same kind, and I can tell 
 you, that I have some reason to believe that he 
 is already watched by government ; and minis- 
 ters would not be very merciful to any that 
 should be caught in their toils. These are very 
 dangerous times, and I think that mankind in 
 general are not very grateful to their political 
 benefactors. Those who succeed in their schemes 
 are regarded with jealousy, and those who fail 
 are treated with contempt*"
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 57 
 
 Miss North heard this last speech with some- 
 thing of deep interest, and with a suspicion that 
 her father's danger was greater than she had 
 imagined. Hitherto she had merely entertained 
 a general feeling of anxiety, lest his violent doc- 
 trines might by some chance expose him to 
 
 trouble, but now she began to fear that the dan- 
 
 * 
 gerwas near and imminent. This feeling al- 
 tered most obviously her tone and manner ; and 
 with most serious eanestness she implored her 
 friend to tell her the whole extent of the danger 
 to which her dear father was exposed. 
 
 Louisa soon calmed her fears by assuring hex 
 that there was no serious danger at present, and 
 that in all probability, the vigilance of govern- 
 ment would soon relax, as many of the trials for 
 sedition had failed, and not a few of them had 
 rendered the prosecutors ridiculous. 
 
 But notwithstanding all the consolatory and 
 
 soothing topics urged to abate her fears, there 
 
 still remained something of an uneasy feeling in 
 
 the young lady's mind, and she wished to make 
 
 d 3
 
 58 TRUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 
 
 assurance doubly sure by persuading her father 
 to relinquish his dangerous opinions, or at least 
 to be more cautious in expressing and publishing 
 them. She began now to fear, lest there should 
 be some calamity arising from political discus- 
 sion in the party at the hall, for she had some 
 slight knowledge of the intemperate zeal of Dr. 
 Mufflechops, and was well aware of the opinion 
 which her father entertained of that spiritual 
 man and his principles. 
 
 While her feelings were in this perturbed and 
 agitated state, and Louisa was endeavouring 
 with but small success to cheer the dejected 
 spirits of her young friend, their conversation 
 was interrupted by the entrance of Mr. Charles 
 Slender, who apologized for his intrusion, and 
 requested permission to be of their party for a 
 few minutes previously to the arrival of the 
 company. He had scarcely spoken, before he 
 perceived by the altered and dejected counte- 
 nance of the young stranger, that something had 
 occurred to distress her, and with an inconside-
 
 TEUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 59 
 
 rate, though well meant haste, begged to know if 
 any ill news had arrived. 
 
 This inquiry increased her perplexity, and so 
 added to her embarrassment, that Miss North 
 was absolutely unable to make any reply to the 
 question. Mr. Slender felt himself grieved that 
 he had thus unwittingly and unintentionally dis- 
 tressed theyoung lady, and, directing an inquiring 
 look to his sister, received from her a full and 
 complete explanation of the whole mystery. 
 Pleased to learn that the expression of concern 
 was merely an anticipation of only a possible 
 calamity, he united his endeavours with those of 
 Louisa, and at last they succeeded in restoring 
 the mind of the patriot's daughter to something 
 like its wonted composure. 
 
 Miss North now began to feel her mind more 
 than composed, and was even pleased at the kind 
 interest which strangers of rank seemed to take 
 in her happiness. She had seen little, very little 
 of human society ; she had hitherto known neither 
 trouble, nor sympathy ; and she began to think
 
 60 
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 that the brother and sister now before her, were 
 the most amiable beings in the world. And 
 with this feeling, she entered with vivacity into 
 miscellaneous small-talk, and they in turn were 
 delighted at the simple native gracefulness of 
 mind which shewed itself in her expressions and 
 sentiments. 
 
 The company began to arrive, and Mr. 
 Charles was under the necessity of leaving his 
 sister and her friend to their own conversation, 
 and we will leave them too, that we may pay 
 our due respects to " the worthy and independ- 
 ent" — now hastening, with becoming zeal and 
 punctuality, to pay their devoirs to the new 
 possessor of Truckleborough Hall. Let not our 
 readers suspect for a moment that the entertain- 
 ment now to be given was a mere treat or feast 
 for the electors ; it was not confined to them, nor 
 extended to them all ; for many a humble shop- 
 keeper had the honour to belong to the common 
 council, and to receive a cordial shake of the 
 hand from a lord, and two M.P/s, about once in
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 61 
 
 seven years or so ; and the said humble shop- 
 keeper had also another privilege, viz. — to take 
 any friend or friends up to the Hall, to look 
 at the pictures, and taste the contents of the 
 pantry and the luxuries of the housekeeper's 
 room ; but to dine at my lord's own table, to 
 sip my lord's own claret in my lord's own com- 
 pany, to hear my lord's own wit first hand, and 
 to laugh and chuckle at it in my lord's own 
 presence, — this was too much for a member 
 of the common council — this was a privilege re- 
 served only for the mayor and aldermen, and 
 the rector, and curate, and the town-clerk, who 
 was a most excellent lawyer, and a most loyal 
 man. 
 
 It would be some convenience, and also some 
 inconvenience if a writer could, while writing, 
 have his readers at his elbow. Of the incon- 
 veniences, one is, that he might have a few hints 
 not flattering to his vanity ; and of the con- 
 veniences, one is, that he could ask the ladies 
 and gentlemen if they particularly desired to
 
 62 THUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 
 
 • 
 
 have this or that information. Now, in this 
 latter case, we should be inclined to ask our 
 readers if it would be any real pleasure to them 
 to be introduced expressly and individually to 
 the mayor, aldermen, &c. of the ancient and 
 venerable town of Truckleborough ; and if they 
 would desire to have a full, true, and particular 
 account of divers persons, who, whatever figure 
 they may cut elsewhere, are not to make any 
 after appearance in this history. In all proba- 
 bility the readers, one and all, would decline 
 giving the author the trouble of describing, or 
 even naming the said gentry ; or, perhaps, such 
 would be their confidence in the author's judg- 
 ment, that they would leave it altogether to his 
 decision. Taking for granted, therefore, that 
 we may use our own discretion on this, as on 
 every other topic, and trusting that our readers 
 will give us credit for judgment in what we sup- 
 press, we shall merely point out to their par- 
 ticular notice one or two individuals, whose ser- 
 vices in our history we may hereafter require.
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 63 
 
 First, then, in point of time came the portly 
 Doctor Mufflechops, a man of stately and reve- 
 rend look, grave even to a fault before dinner, 
 and sometimes gay even to a fault after dinner ; 
 fond of royalty and nobility, devoted to the in- 
 terests of the church, shocked at its impugners, 
 and resolved to stand by it as long as it would 
 stand by him. Joining him at the very thres- 
 hold came the Rev. Mr. Slapp, his curate ; not 
 a thin, meagre, shadowy form, such as curates 
 are too often painted, and such as might form a 
 very pretty contrast with a corpulent rector, 
 but a man of some substance, tall, stout, and 
 well made, of gentlemanly manners and right 
 comely aspect, quite as good a churchman as 
 his rector, but not so' often in a passion about 
 the subject. The two reverend guests had not 
 long discussed the weather to the edification of 
 my lord, when they were joined by the rest of 
 the company ; and greatly were they relieved 
 when the little talkative town- clerk rescued them 
 from the painful necessity of trying to find
 
 64 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 something to say before dinner. For my Lord 
 Slender was at this crisis one of the most pro- 
 voking men in the world ; he would receive a 
 guest with the most exquisite cordiality of 
 manner, with a most fascinating politeness, and 
 an almost garrulity of common-place ; but after 
 having said his say he was mute, except to de- 
 cided interrogatories. It was a great relief then 
 when Mr. Obadiah Smith, the town-clerk of 
 Truckleborough, made his appearance. 
 
 Oby Smith, as he was familiarly called, was 
 one of that description of persons of whom their 
 friends are obliged to say occasionally, that they 
 are no fools. He was mighty fluent, no subject 
 came amiss to him, he was very good hu- 
 moured, and knew so well the value of a good 
 joke, that he never suffered one to pass his lips 
 unhonoured with a laugh ; and, as he was very 
 witty, he was almost always on the titter. But 
 he was a shrewd man withal, and a knowing one 
 in his profession ; not select in his practice, nor 
 always successful in the causes which he under-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 65 
 
 took. Always on very good terms with himself, 
 he could not but think his company very ac- 
 ceptable ; and had Lord Slender been a haughty 
 man, and desirous of keeping the untitled at a 
 distance, there would have been abundant occa- 
 sion for repulsive frowns and cool monosyllables 
 towards Obadiah Smith, town-clerk of Truckle- 
 borough. 
 
 The mayor of Truckleborough for the pass- 
 ing year had been formerly in business; had 
 kept a large grocer's and draper's shop in the 
 market place, opposite the King's Head ; but 
 when his wife, or more properly speaking his 
 lady, had persuaded him to retire from business, 
 and live like a gentleman, and his successor had 
 caused to be painted a new front with gilt let- 
 ters, having the inscription, " John Clarke, suc- 
 cessor to Mr. Doolittle," the worthy and illus- 
 trious burgher did prevail on the said John 
 Clarke to obliterate the notice of succession, 
 and so the words " successor to Mr. Doolittle," 
 were put out, and the name of Doolittle, and
 
 66 TRUCK LEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 drapery, and grocery, no longer connected. 
 Abraham Doolittle, Esq. was a most active ma- 
 gistrate, and, for an unpaid, tolerably -well-read 
 in Burn's Justice. Some people have said that 
 his eagerness to be always close to the letter of 
 the law, did occasionally betray him into ludicrous 
 blunders: as, for instance, when a man was 
 brought before him for stealing gooseberries, he 
 did, with great gravity, examine all his law books 
 for the word gooseberry, and finding nothing 
 nearer the mark than a report of a conviction 
 for stealing a goose, did dismiss the culprit with 
 a word of admonition to be more circumspect in 
 his conduct for the future, telling him that he 
 had had a narrow escape, for if it had been a 
 goose that he had stolen, he must have been 
 committed to prison, and perhaps transported. 
 Very likelv this story was a mere invention, 
 for people are very spiteful against magis- 
 trates, and often speak evil of dignities ; some 
 persons dreading, and others envying their 
 power.
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 67 
 
 Now, after Mr. Geoffry Turnstile had made 
 a very polite bow, and given a very cordial 
 shake of the hand to the above-named gentle- 
 men, and divers others not named, and after the 
 Honourable Mr. Slender had done the same, 
 and after his lordship had endeavoured in vain 
 to answer divers unanswerable observations made 
 or uttered by Mr. Obadiah Smith and others, 
 dinner was announced. 
 
 Dinner is a scene best passed over in silence ; 
 and there are so many books published now-a- 
 days, in which gormandizing is discussed con 
 amove, that any of our readers may supply the 
 defect or omission by his own recollection or 
 reference : besides, as William Hazlitt says, " I 
 hate to fill a book, with what every body knows." 
 
 But everybody does not know what passed after 
 dinner. Indeed for some time nothing did pass 
 but the bottle; that, however, had its effect. 
 The zeal of Dr. Mufflechops grew warmer and 
 warmer, and at every additional glass, the in- 
 terests of church and state became dearer to
 
 68 TRUCKLEEOROUGH HALL. 
 
 his soul. The town-clerk became more eloquent 
 in praise of royalty and nobility ; and Abraham 
 Doolittle, Esq. was more and more enamoured 
 with existing circumstances, and thought that 
 innovation should be resisted with all due energy 
 and promptness. As for Philosopher North, he lis- 
 tened, with a degree of patience wonderful even 
 to himself, to the vapid and servile declamations 
 of interested and time-serving borough-mongers: 
 but, in process of time, the spirit "of the philo- 
 sopher glowed with a warmer feeling of pa- 
 triotism, and when the universal stimulant had 
 let loose the wanton and saucy tongue of Mr. 
 Turnstile, the patriot could no longer hold 
 silence. 
 
 " Sir," said Mr. North, " the opinions which 
 you have recently found it convenient to adopt, 
 will, if carried to their legitimate consequences, 
 make slaves of us all, and establish a permanent 
 despotism." 
 
 " Well, well, North, don't be angry, we will 
 not quarrel about politics; but, I say, how can
 
 TBUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 69 
 
 you think it possible to render your system 
 practically useful ? Granting all you say about 
 the rights of man in the abstract, how can these 
 remedies of your's rectify the evils against which 
 you declaim ?" 
 
 Now these words were uttered by Mr. Turn- 
 stile in such a cool, conciliating, and condescend- 
 ing tone, as if he were ready to listen with great 
 patience to arguments which he could refute with 
 the greatest facility. Therefore, feeling this, the 
 philosopher was angry, even more angry than 
 became a philosopher, and he replied with no 
 small degree of asperity — 
 
 " Sir, if you are not satisfied with the argu- 
 ments that you have heretofore used yourself, 
 you are not likely to be convinced by my re- 
 petition of them." 
 
 The rest of the company were too much 
 occupied, with their own miscellaneous talk, to 
 be altogether aware of the precise nature of the 
 dialogue which was passing between Mr. North 
 and Mr. Turnstile ; but the town-clerk heard
 
 70 TRl l B BALL. 
 
 enough I . him, that there was a degree 
 
 of acrimony, and that Mr, North was on his 
 
 usual topic; >o being Villous tor the honour of 
 the corporation, and the purity of u the worthy 
 and independent," he forthwith took up the 
 gels for Mr. Turnstile, and directing his 
 ch to Mr, North, entered into a long and 
 lively harangue, on the independence and purity 
 of the worthy electors of Truckleborough, and 
 concluded by affirming that they were under no 
 influence whatever, and that any person duly 
 qualified, might come forward and solieit their 
 would be given according to their 
 opinion of the fitness, or Unfitness of such persons 
 to speak their sentiments in the house ; and that 
 if Mr, North could convince them that his views 
 of political affairs were correct, he would be a- 
 likely to succeed as any one else; only, perhaps, 
 Mr. North was himself too much influenced by 
 respect for his noble friend to make such a pro- 
 
 Now that was too bad , to accuse Mr, North
 
 TBUCKLEBOBOUGH HALL. Tl 
 
 of being influenced, and by implication to ques- 
 tion his power of convincing the electors of the 
 justice of his sentiments. The philosopher 
 frowned, then looked grave and meditative, and 
 then smiled, and then said, perhaps he might 
 try what truth there was in Mr. Smith's re- 
 presentation. 
 
 In due time, the party broke up — Mr. Smith 
 went to sleep and forgot all that passed ; Mr. 
 North lay awake all night, and thought it over 
 and over again very seriously, and he resolved 
 to make the experiment ; lie thought success 
 might be probable ; and if not, what then ?
 
 72 TEUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 A party-man, who leaves the rest, 
 Is call'd but whimsical at best. 
 
 Prior. 
 
 Although Dr. Mufflechops, and the rest of 
 the party that had dined, slept soundly through 
 the nigh*, and rose refreshed with the dawning 
 light, or about an hour or two afterwards, yet 
 this was not the case with Mr. North. All night 
 long he lay revolving, in what the poets would 
 call Ci his mighty mind," the conversation which 
 he had held the preceding day with Mr. Smith; 
 the thought of becoming a member of parlia- 
 ment, and thus being able to make his voice 
 heard in the Commons' House, and through that
 
 TRUCKLEBOROTJGH HALL. 78 
 
 medium to the whole kingdom, filled and more 
 than filled his mind. He was every moment 
 fancying himself " on his legs," and he could 
 see the grave-looking speaker's attention arrested ; 
 and he was not a little proud to think, that at 
 last the legislature would hear from his lips, such 
 truths as never yet had been uttered in that 
 assembly : corruption he would expose, sophis- 
 try he would detect, tyranny he would resist, 
 and the people's rights he would vindicate so 
 loudly and so long, that the nation should hail 
 him as their patriot and deliverer. When he 
 had indulged himself to his heart's content, in 
 the revelry of anticipation, he betook himself to 
 the more sober, but quite as necessary, em- 
 ployment of considering how he might be most 
 likely to gain his election. There was no time 
 to be lost. The writs were issued, and a day, 
 not far distant, was appointed for the election of 
 two burgesses to serve in parliament for the 
 ancient town of Truckleborough. 
 
 Now, if any of our readers imagine, that Mr. 
 vol. L E
 
 74 TEUCKLF.BOROUGH HALL. 
 
 North was such a simpleton, as to think of oppos- 
 ing Lord Slender in his own borough, merely on 
 the ground of Obadiah Smith's avowal and pro- 
 fession of the independence of the electors, we 
 must endeavour to set them right. There was 
 mention made at the close of the preceding 
 chapter, of certain grave looks and subsequent 
 smiles of Philosopher North. Now this gravity 
 is not to be translated as meaning — " I will try 
 their independence;" nor are the smiles to be 
 rendered — " I think I shall be able by my argu- 
 ments to persuade them." But while he looked 
 grave, he was thinking that there were two fac- 
 tions in the corporation, and when he smiled 
 he had finished a calculation of their numbers, 
 and found that they were nearer to a balance 
 than he had anticipated : and he had reason to 
 hope that by some curious process, which is quite 
 a secret to all but parliamentary candidates, he 
 should be able to turn the balance in his favour. 
 There was at this time in the borough, an 
 alderman, named Onesimus Jackson, by pro-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH hall. 75 
 
 fession a solicitor, a much deeper and craftier 
 man than Obadiah Smith. In Mr. Jackson's 
 manners there was much of the gentleman, but 
 in his conduct very little of it. There was this 
 difference in the professional practice of the two 
 lawyers, that Smith would not refuse a dirty job, 
 and Jackson would endeavour to find or make 
 one. This last named gentleman was leader of 
 the opposition party in the corporation of 
 Truckleborough, and by the terror of his chica- 
 nery he kept no small part of the inhabitants in 
 awe of him : with the rabble he was rather 
 popular ; not that they had any respect for him 
 personally, but they were pleased with any one 
 who would oppose or mortify the aristocracy. 
 His politics were merely such as might suit his 
 policy. To this gentleman did Mr. North 
 betake himself; and though inwardlv despising 
 him, he condescended to avail himself of his 
 influence with the corporation to oppose Mr. 
 Turnstile. 
 
 As soon as Mr. North had finished his break- 
 e 2
 
 76 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 fast, he walked into the town, and called on Mr. 
 Jackson. The lawyer was somewhat surprised 
 at this unusual visit, for it was the first interview 
 -which the parties ever had. The philosopher, 
 or as we may now better call him, the patriot, 
 was most politely received. After a little 
 hesitation, Mr. North began by saying, with no 
 slight degree of pomp and formality— 
 
 " Mr. Jackson, I have taken the liberty to 
 wait on you this morning, to solicit the honour 
 of your vote and interest at the ensuing election 
 of members of parliament for the town of 
 Truckleborough." 
 
 Thereupon, Mr. Jackson's countenance chang- 
 ed, and he replied abruptly — 
 
 " My Lord Slenders nominee, whatever be 
 his politics, need not give himself the trouble of 
 canvassing the borough. 11 
 
 " Sir," 1 replied the patriot, " I am no man's 
 nominee, but my own. 11 
 
 Thereupon, Mr. Jackson's countenance chang- 
 ed again, and he added —
 
 TRUCKLEBOEOL'GH HALL. 77 
 
 e< I beg your pardon, Mr. North, for the 
 mistake : but really I did not know exactly who 
 was to be proposed to us, for Mr. Doolittle 
 manages these matters for the great man at the 
 hall, and seldom condescends to inform the 
 electors, till the day before the election. I did 
 hear indeed that a Mr. Turnstile was to be put 
 in nomination with Lord Slender's eldest son : 
 but as great men sometimes change their minds, 
 I supposed, by your calling on me, that you 
 might have been selected, instead of Mr. 
 
 Turnstile. 11 
 
 "I am happy then to undeceive you. Mr. 
 Slender and Mr. Turnstile, are, as I believe, to 
 be proposed by Mr. Doolittle ; and if you, Sir, 
 are desirous of emancipating the borough from 
 its present slavish dependence on the tenant of 
 the great house, I shall be proud to have my 
 name proposed by Mr. Jackson. n 
 
 The lawyer looked thoughtful, and hummed, 
 and muttered, and said something very indis- 
 tinctly, about opinions, and principles, and dif-
 
 78 TRUCKLEB0R0UGH HALL. 
 
 Acuities, and prejudices, and independence, and 
 so on, not forgetting expences. At this last 
 word, the patriot took up the subject, and said 
 that he would be happy to consult with Mr. 
 Jackson on that point, and to be guided by him 
 in the steps he should take in the affair. Another 
 meeting was then agreed on for the evening of 
 the same day ; and Mr. North returned home, 
 and retired to his library, there to construct his 
 advertisements, and meditate on the plans which 
 he should adopt to secure his election. 
 
 He had not been thus employed for much 
 more than an hour, when his darling daughter 
 came in, and announced the arrival of Mr. 
 Turnstile and Louisa Slender. These visitors 
 were not at that moment the most welcome, but 
 as Mr. North was aspiring to the honour of a 
 seat in parliament, where people are very courte- 
 ous and very mild to their opponents, he felt 
 that it became him to shew no symptoms of 
 discourtesy to his quondam friend and political 
 abettor ; and as he had a very high opinion of
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 79 
 
 Louisa, and felt himself particularly desirous of 
 appearing in an amiable point of view in her 
 company, his manner of receiving them was 
 cheerful, polite, and unrestrained. Very courte- 
 ous were his inquiries after Lord Slender and 
 Mr. Charles, and very great his pleasure to find 
 that his lordship did not feel fatigued after his 
 tiresome dinner party of the preceding day. 
 During a great variety of miscellaneous chat, 
 in which all four were alternately engaged, Mr. 
 North was pleased at observing that Louisa's 
 manner towards him was peculiarly animated 
 and lively; and though she now and then 
 seemed to banter him, it was with such exquisite 
 good humour, that it was quite the reverse of 
 offensive. At last Louisa asked Mr. Turnstile 
 what day was fixed for the election at Truckle- 
 borough, and being told that it was fixed for 
 Thursday fortnight, she turned round with great 
 vivacity to Mr. North, and said — 
 
 " So, I understand, Mr. North, we are to have
 
 80 TRUCKLE BOROUGH HALL. 
 
 a contested election at Truckleborough. Am I 
 rightly informed ?" 
 
 Mr. Turnstile smiled, and Mr. North being 
 taken by surprise looked rather blank, and did 
 not give an immediate answer ; for which nobody 
 can blame him, inasmuch as a good politician 
 ought not hastily to commit himself, and, more- 
 over, inasmuch as it is not easy to give an im- 
 mediate answer, when one does not know what 
 to say. All that entered Mr. North's mind as the 
 cause of this interrogation, was the conversation 
 which took place, on the previous day, with Mr. 
 Smith ; for he could not think it possible that 
 any part of what had passed, not more than an 
 hour ago, with Mr. Jackson, could have tran- 
 spired so soon. Having no mercy on his confu- 
 sion, but rather enjoying his perplexity, Louisa 
 continued — 
 
 " Come, come ; don't pretend to any thing of 
 mystery, we know the whole affair, we have jus* 
 now had it from the best authority,"
 
 TfiUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 81 
 
 " I suppose you are alluding to the conversa- 
 tion which passed yesterday after dinner at the 
 hall, and I presume that Mr. Smith is your 
 authority. I certainly might have so expressed 
 myself to him, as to lead him to conjecture such 
 an event.'" 
 
 " No, no, Mr. North, I am alluding to the 
 conversation which passed this morning after 
 breakfast, not at the hall, but at the office of Mr. 
 Alderman Jackson.'' 
 
 u Madam ! you astonish me, whence eould you 
 imagine that such was the object of my visit to 
 Mr. Jackson this morning ?" 
 
 " I so conjectured from the information I re- 
 ceived about half an hour ago from Dr. Muffle- 
 chops. The fact is, that your conversation was 
 overheard accidentally by one of Mr. Jackson's 
 clerks, carried from thence to one of Smith's 
 clerks, communicated forthwith by Mr. Smith 
 to Mr. Doolittle, by him to Dr. Mufflechops, and 
 the learned doctor was posting up to the hall, to 
 onvey the intelligence to my father, when we 
 E 3
 
 82 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 met him. Poor man, he trembles for the safety 
 of the church, and thinks heaven and earth 
 should be moved to prevent the election of so 
 dangerous a man. By this time your intention 
 is known all over the town." 
 
 Then did the man of patriotic sentiment 
 gravely reply — 
 
 " True it is, Madam, I have proposed myself 
 to the electors of Truckleborough, with a view 
 of representing them in the Commons 1 House of 
 parliament ; and I have made this proposal, not 
 from personal ambition, or with any wish to be at 
 enmity with my Lord Slender, or my friend Mr. 
 Turnstile, but purely from a conscientious sense 
 of duty : for I do imagine that I could advo- 
 cate in that house principles of policy which have 
 hitherto been altogether neglected, or insincerely 
 supported.'" 
 
 To this speech Louisa replied with equal 
 gravity — 
 
 (i Indeed, Mr. North, I think you are per- 
 fectly right ; for if you are satisfied that you 
 have it in your power to correct any public
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. S3 
 
 abuses, or to enlighten the legislature on sub- 
 jects of national interest, it is no more than your 
 duty to endeavour to place yourself in that 
 situation, where your voice may be most effectu- 
 ally heard, and where your influence may be more 
 extensive than it can be in this contracted sphere. 
 I cannot say, indeed, how far my father may be 
 disappointed at what you may call the emanci- 
 pation of this borough ; but I will venture to 
 promise, that he will never regard with any feel- 
 ing of resentment a man who acts from a sense 
 of duty." 
 
 Mr. North made a respectful inclination of the 
 head to these remarks ; and Mr. Turnstile, feel- 
 ing that it was his turn to make some observa- 
 tion, said, that, though he was sorry to find 
 himself so opposed to his old friend, he hoped 
 that the contest would be carried on with perfect 
 good humour on both sides ; at all events, he 
 thought it would not be a very protracted con- 
 test, and hoped it would not be an angry one. 
 
 When his visitors were departed, the new
 
 84f TRUCKLEBOItOUGH HALL. 
 
 candidate felt himself rather perplexed. He 
 wished from his heart to emancipate the borough ; 
 but he wished that his efforts for its emancipa- 
 tion had been directed against strangers, rather 
 than against those with whom he was familiar, 
 from whom he had received civilities, and with 
 whom he was somewhat inclined to cultivate a 
 friendship or intimacy. He had found it very 
 easy to declaim against borough-mongers, and 
 to uttermost violent and spirit-stirring philippics 
 against the malignant faction that enslaved the 
 country ; but when he came closer to some of 
 the individuals of the hated class, and found 
 them to possess many amiable qualities, then he 
 began to make exceptions to his general rule, 
 and he qualified his expressions, and abated his 
 censures. Still, bow ever, his principles remained 
 firmly the same; still he lifted up his voice 
 against political corruption ; and still lie was the 
 ardent advocate of parliamentary reform, and the 
 liberty of the subject. Perplexed, therefore, as he 
 was by the conflict of private feeling with public
 
 TRUCKLEB0R0UGH HALL. S5 
 
 principle, ho felt some relief in having, so soon 
 after the first development of his scheme, encoun- 
 tered in good humour a part of the opposite 
 faction. He was now fully and fairly committed. 
 When, from the conversation that had passed, 
 Miss North had learned that her father had so 
 far committed himself as to offer himself a can- 
 didate to represent the town of Truckleborough, 
 her fears for his safety were again excited ; she 
 was apprehensive, that in proportion to the pub- 
 licity of his situation, would be the probability 
 of his being exposed to the severity of the laws 
 against sedition ; and then she was sorry that 
 the acquaintance, which she had just begun to 
 form with Louisa Slender, might, by means of 
 this political conflict, be dissolved ; and as, from 
 what she had read of history, she had learned 
 that mankind are often very ungrateful to their 
 public benefactors, and oftentimes reject, with 
 scorn and contempt, the blessings which patriots 
 offer them, she thought it probable that the in- 
 habitants and electors of Truckleborough would
 
 86 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 scarcely thank her father for their emancipation, 
 and that the remote and questionable good of 
 parliamentary reform was hardly worth the 
 sacrifice of good and valuable friends, and do- 
 mestic, quiet, and humble safety. Such were 
 the simple thoughts of female and youthful 
 timidity, and* under the pressure of these 
 thoughts she could not refrain from attempting 
 to persuade her father to relinquish his design. 
 So she went and sat down by his side, and took 
 hold of his hand, and, with her eyes almost suf- 
 fused with tears, said to him — 
 
 " Father, don't be angry with me for what I 
 am about to say." 
 
 " My dear child," said he, " what can you 
 say that can make me angry ?" 
 
 " Nothing, I hope,'' was her reply ; " but I 
 cannot help wishing and praying that you would 
 not run such risks as you frequently have done, 
 and. I do wish you would not attempt to get 
 into parliament. You know that this place, too, 
 is what you call a rotten borough ; and have not
 
 TRUCKLE BOROUGH HALL. 87 
 
 you often said, that the electors must vote ac- 
 cording to the orders of the proprietor? and 
 then again you are not acquainted with any of 
 the corporation, and they all hate your political 
 opinions. I am sure you can never succeed. 
 Then it will be very expensive to you. And, 
 perhaps, you may offend my Lord Slender and 
 his family, and they are very kind and friendly 
 to us." 
 
 Mr. North listened very attentively to the 
 reasonings of his daughter, and then very pa- 
 tiently replied to them, and repelled as well as he 
 could the objections which she had started, con- 
 cluding his reply, by urging the principle of 
 duty and the demands of patriotism, to which he 
 said all private feelings must give way. 
 
 " Yes, my dear father," replied the gerttle 
 maiden; "all that is very true, but are there not 
 some persons who think it their duty to oppose 
 your opinions, and to promote a very different 
 line of policy : and one party must be in error, 
 therefore both should be less positive. Besides,
 
 88 TllUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 how can you be sure that, after all. you can do 
 any good. Have not you read and admired 
 some most eloquent and convincing speeches, 
 which have been delivered in the House of Com- 
 mons, and then found that at the conclusion of 
 the debate, all this eloquence had not moved, 
 and all these arguments had not convinced 
 them. Indeed, my dear father, you know that 
 while you are instructing me you are doing 
 good, but when you go to instruct those obsti- 
 nate people in parliament, who vote according to 
 their interests, you will not find them such 
 willing or such grateful pupils." 
 
 By these, and such like reasonings and per- 
 suasions did Emma North endeavour to divert 
 her father from his purpose of canvassing the 
 borough ; but her arguments were in vain, and 
 patriotism gained the ascendancy over private 
 feeling, and the strong sense of duty did 
 transcend the love of ease and safety. Mr. 
 North was fully determined to enter the stormy 
 region of public life. According to appoint-
 
 TRUCKLE BOROUGH HALL. 89 
 
 ment, he therefore paid a second visit that 
 evening to Mr. Alderman Jackson. The alder- 
 man received him with a most cheerful and 
 promising greeting, and it seemed as if his 
 election were already secured. 
 
 " Well, Mr. Jackson,'"' said the patriot ; 
 " have you considered the matter well, and are 
 you of opinion that I shall have any chance of 
 success ?° 
 
 " Success !" echoed the alderman ; " I think 
 you are already secure. Look ye here. This 
 paper contains a list of the whole number of the 
 electors. Five and forty is the number of the 
 corporation. Of these, five have places under 
 government, which prevent them from voting at 
 all: eighteen are my friends, and out of the 
 remaining twenty-two I can, by some means or 
 other, withdraw, on the day of election, six or 
 seven, leaving you a decided majority." 
 
 " But, by what means, Mr. Jackson, will you 
 withdraw these six or seven ? Are you sure you 
 can influ — can mana — can — can — that is, are
 
 90 TRUCKLEBOR0UGH HALL. 
 
 you quite sure that — that they will not vote 
 against me ?" 
 
 The word influence almost choked the patriot, 
 but as it was for the good of his country, he did 
 condescend for once to use unhallowed means to 
 accomplish hallowed ends. 
 
 " Sir," said Mr, Jackson ; " if you are willing 
 to supply the means I will be answerable for the 
 end." 
 
 " I could wish," replied the emancipator of 
 Truckleborough ; " that these affairs were to 
 be managed without the instrumentality of pecu- 
 niary application." 
 
 " In that wish, Sir, you are not singular," 
 replied the man of law : " every candidate for a 
 seat in a certain house has the same wish. Gen- 
 tlemen are not tempted to the sin of bribery by 
 any pleasure which they derive from the act of 
 bribing, but from the conviction that their ends, 
 be they good, bad, or indifferent, are not to be 
 gained without it.'"' 
 
 " Ay, Sir, but it is a bad state of society that
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 91 
 
 renders this practice necessary ; people ought to 
 act in their public character only for the public 
 good, and votes should be given only from con- 
 viction and principle, not for profit." 
 
 " Very true, Sir, very true ; but if men were 
 now to vote, as for instance, our good men of 
 Truckleborough, only from conviction and prin- 
 ciple, numbers of those who have votes, would 
 not know how to dispose of them. Mankind 
 must act from some motive, and if there is no 
 reaching their understandings, we must apply to 
 some other principle."' 1 
 
 " Still, Sir, it is bad, very bad, such things 
 ought not to be. The legislature ought to look 
 more carefully to it, and by some vigorous and 
 decisive measures put a stop to that pernicious 
 system, which bids fair to enslave and degrade 
 the nation. Men must be taught their duty." 
 
 Mr. Jackson thought all this very curious 
 talk from a gentleman, who, professing Jacobinical 
 opinions, was seeking by some indirect means to 
 obtain the votes of men, who, if they had any
 
 92 TBUCKLEBOKOLGH HALL. 
 
 opinions at all, were men of loyalty, and satisfied 
 with the existing order of things. He kept his 
 countenance, however, and was very well pleased 
 to have an opportunity of playing off his fol- 
 lowers against Mr. Alderman Doolittle, who had 
 hitherto been the ruler of Truckleborough. 
 
 The interview was ended to the apparent mu- 
 tual satisfaction of the parties. Mr. Jackson 
 was pleased with the prospect of a profitable job, 
 and Mr. North had hopes of reforming and re- 
 generating the kingdom.
 
 TRUCK LEBOIiOUGH HALL. 93 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 The to vn divided, each runs several ways, 
 As passion, humour, interest, paity sways. 
 
 Chcrchill. 
 
 The town of Truckleborough now began to 
 assume an appearance of bustle and activity. 
 There was nothing thought or spoken of, but the 
 approaching election. With an intensity of in- 
 terest, as if life, or more than life, depended on the 
 issue, all classes and ages, and both sexes were 
 igitaled with anxiety, depressed by fears, or ele- 
 vated by hopes. The Jackson party began to look 
 |uite big and threatening; all their adherents and 
 friends were full of high talk. They were re- 
 solved to show a little spirit ; they were not to be 
 dictated to by any man, or any set of men. [Save
 
 94 TRUCKLEBOIiOUGH HALL. 
 
 and except Mr. Jackson. This is in a paren- 
 thesis.] Now, said they, is the time to let the 
 world know that the men of Truckleborough 
 never will be slaves : they are not to be driven 
 to market and sold like cattle : they are not 
 going to elect any one whom my lord may please 
 to nominate, not they : — they have a right, and 
 they will exercise that right: they will vote 
 conscientiously ; they will have a man of their 
 own choice, one that will stand up manfully for 
 the rights of Englishmen. 
 
 All the boys who could write were busy in 
 inscribing on the walls the name of the popular 
 candidate. Even the wall of the church-yard 
 was covered over with such inscriptions as 
 "North and liberty for ever." "North and in- 
 dependence." " No rotten boroughs." " No 
 Lord Slender. 1 ' " Down with old Doolittle." 
 " Jackson and emancipation. " " No Turn- 
 stile."" These, and similar expressions, were 
 bawled about the streets from morning till night. 
 Mrs. Doolittle was quite frightened out of her
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 95 
 
 wits, for as she was stepping out of her house, to 
 go to a party at Mrs. Smith's, a rabble consisting 
 of half-a-dozen dirty little boys, screamed out 
 " Down with old Doolittle.'' The poor old lady 
 was so terrified, that she turned back immedi- 
 ately and implored her dear husband to go and 
 read the riot act to them ; nor could she be pre- 
 vailed upon to go to Mrs. Smith's party till a 
 sedan chair was procured for her, and by that 
 time the mob was dispersed. 
 
 The grandest and boldest preliminary step of 
 the opposition party, however, was the exhibition 
 and pasting up of an immense placard of blue 
 paper, with yellow letters, the colours of the 
 party. Who was the author of the placard re- 
 mains unknown to the present day. Mr. North 
 has uniformly denied that he had any hand in 
 it, or knew any thing about it ; but he feels 
 very sore even now by any allusion to it. The 
 evidence of authorship is, perhaps, stronger in 
 favour of Mr. Jackson, or Francis Lathergills. 
 They have both been known to speak rather
 
 96 TRUCKLEBOItOUGH HALL. 
 
 equivocally and evasively on the subject. The 
 placard to which we allude, we will present to our 
 readers — it is impressive and eloquent enough 
 even on white paper and with black ink, in 
 spite of the little blunder in attributing the 
 quoted line to Shakspeare instead of to Milton ; 
 what then must it have been at the time of its 
 exhibition on blue paper and in yellow letters ! 
 
 " To the Worthy and Independent Electors of 
 Truckleborough. 
 
 AWAKE ! ARISE ! ! OR BE FOR EVER FALLEN ! ! ! 
 
 Shakspeare. 
 '* Men of Truckleborough, ye have been 
 slaves for centuries. But the time is now ar- 
 rived for you to throw off your ignoble chains, 
 to burst the vile fetters which have bound you, 
 to emancipate yourselves from the most horrible 
 and detestable thraldom, and to claim that 
 liberty to which as Englishmen and Britons ye are 
 born. An advocate of liberty solicits your votes; 
 give him your votes freely and without bias ; —
 
 TRUCKLEBOKOUGH HALL. 97 
 
 go to the poll with plumpers in your hands, and 
 vote for Stephen Bardolph North, Esq. Let 
 North and liberty be your watch-word ! — Vote 
 for North, and ye abolish at once all sinecure 
 places and pensions ! Vote for North, and ye 
 destroy the foul fiend corruption, root and 
 branch! Vote for North, and ye shall hear 
 the latest posterity blessing your immortal me- 
 mories as the liberators of Europe and the eman- 
 cipators of Truckleborough !!!!!!" 
 
 Now, what must that man's heart be made of, 
 who could read this moving and eloquent ad- 
 dress, and then go and vote for the Honorable 
 Charles Slender, and Geoffry Turnstile, Esq. Yet 
 there were some that did so, such is the perverse- 
 ness of human nature. Of this more hereafter. 
 
 We must now turn our thoughts to the op- 
 posed party. Oby Smith could not tell what 
 to make of it. He felt himself as in a dream. 
 He it was, who, as we said above, first commu- 
 
 VOL. I. F
 
 98 TRUCKLEBOliOUGH HALL. 
 
 nicated the direful intelligence to Mr. Doolittle, 
 and as Mr. Doolittle promised to inform Dr. 
 Mufflechops, Mr. Smith proceeded to inform 
 Mr. Slapp, who received the intelligence with 
 very little surprise, and merely observed that he 
 thought church and state in no danger from the 
 event, and predicted that the corporation would 
 never be such fools as to transfer themselves 
 from Lord S lender's pantry to Mr. Jackson's 
 parlour. Mr. Smith shrugged up his shoulders, 
 and thought Mr. Slapp very ungrateful, not to 
 be frightened out of his wits. 
 
 When Dr. Mufflechops carried the news up 
 to the hall, he found Lord Slender and his son 
 in the library. He announced himself as the 
 bearer of important and serious intelligence, and 
 at his entering the room endeavoured to put on 
 a long face ; but failed in the attempt, inasmuch 
 as nature and diet had not rendered his counte- 
 nance susceptible of perpendicular elongation. 
 He looked, however, as dismal as he possibly
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 99 
 
 could, and when he had told his errand, the 
 young gentleman smiled, and Lord Slender 
 merely said — 
 
 M Poor man, I hope he will not spend much 
 money on the speculation." 
 
 " But, my Lord," continued the doctor, " is 
 it not a most shameful thing, that the peace of 
 the town should be disturbed by a man of such 
 abominable principles ? Your lordship cannot 
 but know the evils of a contested election, and 
 what intemperance, and gluttony, and drunken- 
 ness then take place ; and again, my lord, what 
 disrespectful language is then uttered by the 
 noisy multitude against their superiors and 
 rulers. This town, my lord, has been hitherto 
 quite exemplary for its loyalty, sobriety, and 
 religion ; and I am persuaded, that this is in a 
 great measure owing to the happy circumstance 
 of its never having been plagued with a con- 
 tested election." 
 
 " Perhaps, Dr. Mufflechops," replied his lord- 
 ship, " the town may be somewhat indebted to 
 f 2
 
 100 TRUCK LEBOHOUGH HALL. 
 
 your good instruction and example for its pre- 
 sent high moral and temperate condition." 
 
 " Your lordship is very polite. I have cer- 
 tainly, to the best of my poor ability, endeavoured 
 to instil right principles, and to teach sound 
 doctrine, for that is the only way to keep the 
 people in order." 
 
 " Then, doctor, the best course you can 
 pursue in the present crisis, is to keep the at- 
 tention of your parishioners directed to sound 
 doctrine. As to this fancy of Mr. North, we 
 must leave him to take his own course/' 
 
 " But, my lord, he is a seditious man, a traitor 
 to his king and country, and I have reason to 
 believe, that he has gone to such excesses in his 
 language, as to render him liable to arrest : and 
 there is a foolish man in the town, one Lather- 
 gills, a hair-dresser, whose testimony, I think, we 
 might procure, and thus get this dangerous 
 man placed under arrest, and, perhaps, ulti- 
 mately transported, or something worse." 
 
 (( Oh, no, doctor, you are too severe by half;
 
 TRU0KLEBOR0UGH HALL. 10J 
 
 we had better let him alone ; I dare say that he 
 will not contribute much to the demoralization 
 of the town : for the election cannot last long, 
 as there are not many voters. I think it will 
 be far better to let him alone." 
 
 Dr. Mufflechops had not been much in the 
 habit of contradicting lords, and therefore in the 
 present case he yielded to Lord Slender's better 
 j udgment, and praised his clemency and christian 
 forbearance. And when the reverend doctor con- 
 veyed to Mr. Alderman Doolittle the intelli- 
 gence of the result of his interview with Lord 
 Slender, that sagacious magistrate was most 
 graciously pleased to coincide with his lordship's 
 determination ; and he also forbore to make any 
 inquiries or investigation touching the seditious 
 language which had been attributed to the 
 emancipation of Truckleborough. The doctor, 
 however, was fully determined that if the poli- 
 tical culprit escaped the temporal power, he 
 should be at least subjected to severe spiritual 
 censures : and with that view he forthwith betook
 
 102 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 himself to his study to look out for a sermon 
 adapted to the present crisis, to which he might 
 append some severe and searching reproofs 
 against the restless, discontented, and seditious. 
 This being done to his satisfaction, he still felt 
 uneasy that no other steps should be taken 
 against the disturber of the public peace ; he, 
 therefore, on the following morning, went to the 
 shop of Francis Lathergills, with the design of 
 sifting him as to the matter of seditious words 
 spoken by Mr. North. 
 
 As soon as the awful voice of Dr. Mufflechops 
 was heard in the shop, huskily asking for Lather- 
 gills, the obsequious perfumer made at once his 
 appearance, and a most polite bow. The doctor 
 received the salutation graciously. 
 
 " Lathergills,*" said he, " the wig which you 
 sent me the other day is rather too small : I 
 must have it altered." 
 
 "Indeed, your reverence; I am very sorry: 
 I made it on the largest block I have ; but I 
 can alter it for you very easily, if your reverence
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 103 
 
 will let me have another to alter it by. When 
 shall I call at the rectory ?"" 
 
 " You may call to-morrow morning. — But, 
 Lathergills, pray what is the meaning of all 
 those seditious inscriptions, which are chalked 
 on the church-yard wall? If I can discover 
 the perpetrator I will put him into the ecclesias- 
 tical court, as sure as he is born." 
 
 Thereat Francis Lathergills was exceedingly 
 troubled and alarmed, both on account of what 
 he did know, and on account of what he did 
 not know. For he did know that his own 
 son Tom was president of the Academy of 
 Inscriptions, and he did not know what a ter- 
 rible kind of place the ecclesiastical court might 
 be, though he entertained a slight suspicion, 
 that it might be an euphemism expressive of the 
 stocks, or its more punitive appendix the whip- 
 ping post. Being terrified, he was, therefore, 
 confused, and, being confused, he knew not what 
 to say at the first moment ; but when the doctor, 
 observing his confusion, or rather noticing his
 
 104 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 silence, repeated the interrogation, the perfumer 
 from London readily replied — 
 
 " I hope your reverence does not suspect me 
 to have been guilty of such an offence ? — indeed, 
 to say the truth, I am no great hand at writing." 
 
 61 But you have a son who can write, for he 
 was taught in the charity school. 1 " 
 
 At this remark the hair-dresser had presence 
 of mind enough to call out towards the back of 
 the shop — 
 
 " Tom, did you write any thing with chalk 
 on the church-wall ?" 
 
 "No father,' 1 was the ready answer. Now, 
 though Mr. Lathergills had not taught his son 
 to tell lies, he was not sorry that on this occasion 
 he could tell a lie without being taught. The 
 doctor went on to say, that he would severely 
 punish any one he could detect, and then 
 added — 
 
 "But, Lathergills, I think you are rather 
 intimate with this fellow, who is disturbing the 
 peace of the town— this man North. Has not
 
 TKUCKLEBOItOUGH HALL. 105 
 
 he often been in your shop ? Does not he some- 
 times call here, and talk to you about politics, 
 and such like matters ?" 
 
 Francis Lathergills was endeavouring to con- 
 jecture what could be the object of this question, 
 in order to frame his answer accordingly, when 
 he was relieved and interrupted by the entrance 
 of Mrs. Lathergills, who came bustling and 
 curtseying into the shop, bawling out with as 
 much reverence as her indignation would per- 
 mit — 
 
 " Yes, your reverence, yes — that fellow North 
 does come to the shop, please your worship, and 
 he uses sich language enough to make one's hair 
 stand on end." 
 
 " Indeed ! good woman, what kind of lan- 
 guage does he use ? What have you heard him 
 say?" 
 
 " Oh dear, your reverence, I have heard him 
 
 say every thing but his prayers ; he is sometimes 
 
 from morning till night bothering my poor dear 
 
 husband about liberty and rights, and all that 
 
 f 3
 
 106 TRUCKLEBOROUGH H.ALL. 
 
 sort of stuff, till he has almost turned his brain, 
 I am sure my dear husband was the quietest 
 creature in the world, and never thought about 
 liberty and rights, till that rascal put them into 
 his head." 
 
 " But, my good woman," replied the doctor, 
 " have you ever heard him use any seditious lan- 
 guage, that you can swear to in a court of justice." 
 
 " Oh, yes, your reverence, hundreds and hun- 
 dreds of times, that I have." 
 
 " Now, what was it that you heard him say, 
 that you can positively swear to ?" 
 
 M Why, your reverence, I can't just now re- 
 member like ; but I know he did talk all that 
 sort of stuff that they say is in Tom Paine's 
 book, but I cant exactly say what it is— I know 
 it is something about liberty, and against govern- 
 ment, and kings, and bishops, and all that is 
 good. I can swear to that, your worship." 
 
 Now upon hearing this, it occurred to Doctor 
 Mufilechops that the evidence of Mrs. Lather- 
 gills would not be worth much in a court of
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 107 
 
 justice, and it also began to be evident to him, 
 that though Mr. Lathergills might be an able, 
 yet he would not be a willing evidence ; and 
 that Mrs. Lathergills, with all her willingness, 
 would not be a competent or able testimony. 
 Therefore, he left the shop despairing for the 
 present, but exhorting Mrs. Lathergills to listen 
 so closely, as to be able to remember and swear 
 to the exact words, that should be used by Mr. 
 North in his political conferences with, or more 
 properly speaking, his political discourses to, 
 her husband, Francis Lathergills. Bows and 
 curtsies graced the doctor's departure. 
 
 When the doctor had finished his fruitless 
 researches at the hair-dresser's, his next visit 
 was to the King's '* Head Inn. Meeting the 
 landlord at the door, he asked if Mr. North 
 was in the habit of frequenting his house, and 
 talking politics and sedition. 
 
 " He frequently comes to my house, please 
 your reverence,*' was the landlord's answer; " but 
 as for talking, he only talks to himself; for he
 
 108 TRUCELEBOROUGH HALL* 
 
 sits in the little back parlour next the bar, and 
 reads the papers; and sometimes I hear him read- 
 ing aloud, and making his observations on the 
 news ; and, if your reverence pleases, you may at 
 any time hear him yourself, if you will sit in 
 the bar." 
 
 What an idea ! — the Rev. Dr. Mufflechops, 
 Rector of Truckleborough, to sit in the bar of a 
 public-house to overhear the soliloquies of a dis- 
 contented jacobin ! — preposterous ! But the 
 landlord had not the slightest notion of pro- 
 priety. The doctor said pish, and walked away, 
 meditating as he went along on the incon- 
 veniences and dangers of contested elections, 
 and wondering at the negligence of our an- 
 cestors, who had suffered the people to have 
 so great a hand in choosing members of par- 
 liament. As soon as he arrived at home, he 
 very properly applied himself to the preparing 
 of a lecture against jacobins for Sunday next. 
 
 Meanwhile, Mr. North, and his friend Mr, 
 Jackson, after having made their preliminary
 
 TKUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 109 
 
 and only essential arrangements, proceeded to 
 canvass the borough, that being a mere matter 
 of form. By those who had been previously 
 disciplined, and who belonged to Mr. Jackson's 
 party, the patriot was most graciously received, 
 and a ready promise was given. Others, who 
 were not of that party, but who knew their duty 
 as members of a close corporation, very politely 
 said that their votes were engaged, and very 
 calmly bore the indirect sneers of Mr. Jackson, 
 who said that he was not aware that the borough 
 had been yet canvassed by any one. But there 
 were others, somewhat new to the business, not 
 having been long members of the corporation, 
 and having been chosen for their great aptitude 
 for the situation, who were mightily puzzled 
 when Mr. North asked for the promise of their 
 vote and interest. They had a notion, that 
 North was not the name of the new candidate, 
 who was to be introduced by Lord Slender, and 
 yet they knew that Mr. North had dined at the 
 Hall with Mr. Doolittle and Dr. Mufflechops ;
 
 110 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 and not having yet seen the placard, they were 
 in doubt what they should say ; but knowing by 
 a natural corporation instinct, that they should 
 not vote with Mr. Jackson, they wisely avoided 
 committing themselves either one way cr the 
 other, and merely said they would think about 
 it For the accommodation of such gentlemen as 
 these, it would really be desirable that the pro- 
 prietors of close boroughs w r ould send notice, 
 a few weeks previous to the election, of the 
 names of the persons intended to be returned, 
 together with some account of their character, if 
 they have any. 
 
 All this time the party at the Hall was per- 
 fectly quiescent. Intelligence was almost hourly 
 carried up concerning the movements of the 
 enemy, but the intelligence wa3 received with 
 great indifference. At length, Mr. Doolittle 
 took a walk to the Hall one morning, and sug- 
 gested to his lordship, that it would be proper 
 now for Mr. Charles and Mr. Turnstile to pay 
 their respects to their intended constituents,
 
 TRUCKLEBOEorGH HALL. Ill 
 
 according to the usual forms in such cases made 
 and provided. 
 
 " Ay, ay, Mr. Doolittle, right," said his lord- 
 ship : "I had really quite forgotten ; but I 
 suppose it is usual, just as a matter of form, to 
 canvass the borough. So I find that my friend 
 Mr. North has been paying his respects to the 
 corporation. 1 ' 
 
 " O, my Lord, you need not fear the oppo- 
 sition that comes from that quarter : I have been 
 too long acquainted with business to have any 
 apprehension. Your lordship's friends are per- 
 fectly safe. Mr. North will not have a dozen 
 votes at the utmost. He will most likely give 
 up before the day of the election arrives. 11 
 
 " Pray, Mr. Doolittle, who and what is this 
 Mr. Jackson, of whom I now hear so much 
 every day since the commencement of this oppo- 
 sition ? I never before heard of him. What is 
 the nature of his influence in the towu ? M 
 
 " Why, my lord," replied Mr. Doolittle, "he
 
 112 TRUCKLEBOItOUGH HALL. 
 
 is by no means worth knowing, he is a very 
 busy troublesome man, and is always bringing 
 the town into some difficulties or other, merely 
 to make professional advantage of its troubles : 
 and there are some weak-minded people in the 
 corporation, who pretend to have been ill-used, 
 and vote with him on every occasion in which 
 there can be made any thing of a division. 
 Some of these people are under obligations to 
 him, and others are afraid of him ; but I have 
 a hold upon several whom he fancies to be of 
 his party, and I know all his movements." 
 
 M I am afraid, then," said his lordship, " he 
 will fleece poor North, for these movements are 
 not made for nothing. By the way is he a man 
 of any ability ? I understand he is in the law." 
 
 " He is considered, my lord, as a very clever 
 man certainly." 
 
 " Suppose,"" said Lord Slender, " we contrive 
 to get him a^place.' 1 
 
 " Oh, no, my lord, he will not accept of one,
 
 TKUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 113 
 
 that is, he will not accept of any, unless it be 
 much more lucrative than is likely to be offered 
 to him. ,, 
 
 " He has never been tried, Mr. Doolittle, he 
 has never been tried. I understand these things 
 better than you do. Those who are most violent 
 in saying no, before they are asked, are the most 
 ready to say yes, after they have been asked. 
 I will see to it, if I think it worth doing. ,, 
 
 Mr. Doolittle and his lordship then proceeded 
 to discuss various other matters relative to the 
 day of the election, such as the dinner and the 
 number of persons to be invited, and how many 
 ball tickets should be issued, and by whom 
 should the ball be opened. 
 
 u Perhaps,* 1 said his lordship, " Charles will 
 open the ball with Mrs. Doolittle, for you have 
 no daughter or niece, I believe.'" 
 
 " Mrs. Doolittle does not dance,'' replied the 
 alderman ; " but there will be many ladies there 
 who will be proud of the honour." 
 
 ** Well, well, that is a trifling matter, and I
 
 114 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 will leave all these affairs, Mr. Doolittle, to your 
 most excellent management ; you will do what 
 is right." 
 
 The alderman bowed, and took his leave most 
 courteously and respectfully.
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 115 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Here be it thine to calm and guide 
 The swelling democratic tide ; 
 To watch the state's uncertain frame, 
 And baffle faction's partial aim. 
 
 Akenside. 
 
 If our readers have any inclination to accom- 
 pany the Hon. Charles Slender and Geoffry 
 Turnstile, Esq. in their canvass of the borough, 
 we are very sorry to say that we must disap- 
 point them. For we do not think it would 
 contribute much to their amusement, or infor- 
 mation, to be introduced seriatim to Mr. Clarke, 
 the grocer; Mr. Simpson, the linen-draper ; Mr. 
 Thompson, the butcher ; Mr. Dickinson, the 
 corn-factor, and many others ; nor would they 
 be wondrously diverted with the politeness of 
 the candidates towards their possible consti-
 
 116 TKUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 tuents, nor with the tenderness with which they 
 inquired after all the little Clarkes, Simpsons, 
 Thompsons, Dickinsons, &c. &c. We must 
 hurry our readers on to something more import- 
 ant, and more essential to the development of 
 our history ; and bring them to the Sunday im- 
 mediately preceding the election. 
 
 On that day the church was unusually full. 
 For though the good people of Truckleborough 
 were not much addicted to sectarianism, and 
 most of them were devoted adherents of the 
 establishment, yet, on ordinary occasions, they 
 manifested their attachment rather negatively 
 than positively. And, though they were 
 thoroughly satisfied that Dr. Mufflechops was 
 most orthodox in doctrine, and most eloquent as 
 an orator, yet they were never so well disposed 
 to take advantage of the instructions of his 
 orthodoxy, or to listen with rapture to his elo- 
 quence, as when the family at the Hall hap- 
 pened to be in the country. More especially 
 on the present occasion, the interest of the good
 
 TPvUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. HT 
 
 people was excited, as there was a considerably 
 strong feeling of curiosity in their minds, to 
 hear what their reverend pastor would say on 
 the present posture of affairs, as it was uniformly 
 the rector's practice, to adapt his discourses to 
 passing events, by which means he was, at least, 
 sure of their attention. 
 
 The church, which was very much like many 
 other churches, was situated rather on the out- 
 side of the town, and not far from the Hall. 
 There was a noble avenue of horse-chesnut 
 trees, leading from the road-side up to the 
 church-porch, and, on fine Sundays, this was a 
 favourite promenade in the intervals of service 
 time. On this morning, however, as the day 
 was remarkably bright, and the interest of the 
 people unusually intense, the avenue was filled 
 for nearly half an hour before the time for com- 
 mencing the service ; and this half hour was 
 occupied by the saunterers in discussing politi- 
 cal movements, and quizzing or cutting their 
 neighbours. At length, Lord Slender' s carriage
 
 118 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 drove up to the gate at the end of the avenue, 
 and the eyes of the people were turned towards 
 it, and they observed, when the carriage door 
 was opened, that five persons stepped out of it ; 
 three gentlemen, and two ladies. The mild 
 and placid countenance of Lord Slender was 
 immediately recognized, and the round, good 
 humoured face of Mr. Turnstile, was greeted 
 by the gaze of curiosity, and the youthful 
 manliness of the Hon. Charles Slender pre- 
 sented to their view an expression of good and 
 kindly feeling. These three gentlemen had 
 already acquired no small share of popularity 
 among the contented and satisfied part of the 
 inhabitants of the town and neighbourhood, for 
 they were well known by their frequent visits 
 to the usual places of public resort, and gene- 
 rally admired for their condescending manners ; 
 Mr. Turnstile especially, was quite a wag, for 
 when he and Mr. Doolittle met in the street, 
 they would stand talking and laughing for half 
 an hour together. Of the two ladies, it was
 
 TaUCKLKBOROUGH HALL. 119 
 
 easy to see that the tallest was Louisa, for she 
 was a beautiful likeness of her brother. She 
 walked, up the avenue leaning on her brother's 
 arm, and his other arm was timidly grasped by 
 a somewhat smaller female figure ; and as they 
 passed onward she heard whispers, and the 
 whisperers mentioned the name of Miss North, 
 and there were exclamations of astonishment 
 mingled with the whispers, and she held down 
 her head, and seemed glad when she was seated 
 in the pew. As soon as that party had en- 
 tered the church, all the saunterers followed, and 
 Dr. Mufflechops himself came in, almost out of 
 breath ; for he had seen his lordship's carriage, 
 and was too late, with all his hurrying, to greet 
 the noble party before they reached the church 
 door. 
 
 Mr. Slapp read prayers remarkably we 11 , and 
 impressively, for he was not by any means a 
 bad reader, when people of consequence were 
 present to hear him read. The rector preached 
 as usual, monotonously, sonorously, pompously,
 
 120 TRUCKLEBOIIOUGH HALL. 
 
 and with a mighty abundance or superabund- 
 ance of emphasis dealt out with more liberality 
 than discretion. Much of his discourse was 
 occupied in lauding the wisdom and virtue of 
 our ancestors, especially those of our ancestors 
 who made the laws by which we are now go- 
 verned ; from whence he proceeded to laud 
 and praise, right cordially, the wisdom and 
 virtue of the ancestors of the French repub- 
 licans, and to vituperate the wicked ones who 
 sought to rescind their ancient laws and insti- 
 tutions. Thus far, his homilv was not strange 
 or new, to that part of his audience which 
 regularly attended church ; but there followed, 
 after these well known words, a most violent 
 and bitter declamation against a certain " pesti- 
 lent fellow and mover of sedition,'" who was 
 endeavouring to subvert the constitution in 
 church and state, to introduce wild and specu- 
 lative notions into government and religion, to 
 destroy the peace and harmony of the town, 
 and to bring anarchy, confusion, and bloodshed
 
 TRUCKLEBOROCGH HALL. 121 
 
 into the kingdom. There was no difficulty in 
 understanding to whom these rebukes were 
 directed. Now it came to pass that Mr. North 
 was not present to hear this edifying harangue, 
 and, indeed, strongly suspecting, from what he 
 had heard and known of the doctor's habits, 
 that some such attack would be made upon 
 him, he had been rather desirous of preventing 
 his daughter from being exposed to such a 
 painful publicity ; but at the same time not 
 caring to state his reasons, and not willing to 
 give any interruption to her ordinary practice 
 of attending the church, he made no great 
 objection to the request of Louisa, that Miss 
 North might accompany their party that morn- 
 ing ; entertaining some slight hope, that if he 
 were not present himself, the attack might be 
 spared or at least lose some of its energy. The 
 doctor, however, was not aware of Mr. North's 
 absence, inasmuch as during the time that he 
 was preaching, he, for the sake of accuracy, kept 
 his eye fixed on his book. As soon as the 
 VOL. i. g
 
 122 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 attack was commenced, the sensitive mind of 
 Emma North perceived and deeply felt it ; her 
 countenance changed, and tears started into her 
 eyes, and she then hid her face with her hand- 
 kerchief. It happened that the Hon. Charles 
 Slender was at this moment not paying very 
 particular attention to the preacher, and his 
 eyes, in their miscellaneous wanderings, just 
 then fell on the face of Miss North, and this 
 movement excited his attention, and he readily 
 ascertained the cause of her emotion. Dis- 
 gusted with the gross personality of the preacher, 
 and wishing to give some sign of his disappro- 
 bation, he rose from his seat, and advanced to 
 the door of his pew, and there leaning on his 
 arm, he directed his steady gaze to the pulpit ; 
 the doctor, however, not raising his eyes from 
 the cushion, caught a glimpse only of the 
 person, and concluding, as he afterwards said, 
 that it was Mr. North himself, grew more 
 violent in his emphasis, and more loud in his 
 declamation. A gentle sobbing was heard in
 
 TRUCKLEBOIiOUGH HALL. 123 
 
 Lord Slender's pew, and presently two ladies 
 glided slowly out of the church. 
 
 When the service was finished, the doctor 
 was again disappointed, in his attempt to pay 
 his respects to Lord Slender ; for his lordship 
 made unusual haste out of church, that he 
 might pay attention to the insulted maiden. 
 The party soon arrived at the hall, and found 
 that Louisa's kind sympathy had restored the 
 young lady to perfect composure. Miss North 
 was in short so much recovered, as to offer an 
 apology for the trouble, which, she said, her 
 weakness and folly had occasioned. 
 
 " Nay, nay, young lady," replied his lordship, 
 " no apologies, no apologies: your emotion was 
 very natural and very becoming. Dr. Muffiechops 
 is a foolish man, you must not regard him. Come, 
 come, you shall stay and spend the day with us, 
 and we'll send the carriage down to the cottage 
 for your father." 
 
 " Indeed your lordship is very kind, but I 
 almost fear that, under present circumstances, my 
 g 2
 
 124 TEUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 
 
 father might hesitate a little at accepting an 
 invitation to the hall, for his opinions are very 
 singular, as your lordship knows." 
 
 This objection was made in a tone of voice, 
 and with an expression, which seemed to say, 
 that it was intended for an anticipated apology, 
 in case one should be required, for any freak 
 or feeling of political independence, on the part 
 of the patriot. The objection was met and 
 answered, the carriage was sent, and the citizen 
 came to dinner at the hall. As soon as he entered 
 the library, Lord Slender advanced to meet him, 
 and with the most perfect cordiality of manner 
 greeted and welcomed him. Mr. North felt rather 
 awkwardly, and wished to say something on the 
 subject of the approaching contest : but he 
 wished to speak gravely, formally, and with 
 reference to conscientious patriotic principles; 
 and, unfortunately for him, Lord Slender was a 
 very common-place sort of a man, and looked just 
 at this moment in a very common-place kind of 
 humour. Every body knows how difficult, or
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 125 
 
 almost impossible, it is at times to introduce very 
 grave matters of conversation or discussion, for 
 no man can be grave for any length of time, un- 
 less he can find some one to sympathize with his 
 gravity. At this moment the patriot would have 
 been somewhat pleased and even relieved, had 
 Mr. Turnstile played off some of his banter upon 
 him, so that the subject of the election might at 
 least be introduced. There was felt also another 
 difficulty — namely, in what manner should 
 Mr. North himself treat the matter, when it should 
 be introduced. He could not think of making 
 an apology to my lord, that was quite out of the 
 question in a matter of conscience and duty; 
 and though he was disposed to carry on the 
 contest in perfect charity towards his opponents, 
 he was not quite sure that such feeling would 
 be reciprocal. Then he wondered again, that 
 after such steps of political hostility as he had 
 taken, there should be such perfect cordiality of 
 manner on the part of his lordship. He began to
 
 126 TRUCKLE BOROUGH HALL. 
 
 think it possible that some proposals might be 
 made from the noble proprietor of the borough 
 to prevent the opposition, and to induce him to 
 decline the contest ; but he determined within 
 himself that no consideration on earth should 
 induce him to deviate from his purpose, or com- 
 promise his patriotic intentions : and as this idea 
 gained possession of his fancy, he grew more 
 rigid and stately in his manner, and put himself 
 on his guard against all civilities and courtesy of 
 manner of his host. 
 
 Notwithstanding the perplexity in which 
 Mr. North was involved as to this mysterious 
 behaviour of his noble friend, we do not appre- 
 hend that our readers have die slightest difficulty 
 in the world in solving the riddle, and we 
 almost seem to insult their understandings, or to 
 question their discernment, when we deliberately 
 and expressly tell them, that Lord Slender did 
 not regard Mr. North's opposition as a matter 
 of the least moment. He was merely inclined
 
 TECCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 127 
 
 to pity him that he should be so foolish as to 
 spend his money in such a fruitless scheme ; but 
 knowing his obstinacy, and aware of his ignorance 
 of the world and its ways, he was well satisfied 
 that nothing, which he could say, would divert 
 Mr. North from his purpose : and observing that 
 he was a man of reading and reflection, and of 
 natural good feelings, he could not but respect 
 him; and so he hoped that when this freak was 
 over, he would learn to think a little more soberly. 
 Louisa, too, had attached herself very much to 
 Miss North, and had gradually discovered in her 
 mind and heart most admirable and excellent 
 qualities, which she was desirous of fostering and 
 patronizing. So that when the projected oppo- 
 sition was first talked of at the Hall it was unani- 
 mously resolved, that it would be best to let it 
 pass over, and to indulge the citizen in his whim ; 
 for with all his good qualities he had a little 
 vanity, and that would be somewhat gratified 
 by having been a candidate for the honour of 
 sitting in parliament ; besides, as there were no
 
 128 TRL'CKLEBOROCGH HALL. 
 
 non-resident voters, and not many to purchase, it 
 would not, after all, be a very expensive affair 
 to him. 
 
 People are generally very stupid when they 
 are waiting for dinner, and therefore Mr. North's 
 silence and reserve were unnoticed at the time. 
 After they had dined, and the four gentlemen 
 were left alone, and Mr. North continued to hold 
 silence, or to drop out his thoughts by mono- 
 syllables, Charles Slender, who was quicker than 
 his lordship in conjecturing the cause of his 
 embarrassment, at last introduced the subject. 
 
 " Come, Mr. North, you don't pass the bottle. 
 You are thinking of our grand contest that is to 
 take place next Thursday. 1 ' 
 
 " Sir," replied the patriot, " you conjecture 
 rightly. I am indeed meditating on that conflict, 
 inasmuch as I feel it to be a matter of the utmost 
 moment. I know that the views which I entertain 
 of the rights of men, and the duties of citizens, 
 differ widely from those of my opponents — " 
 
 " And differas widely," interrupted Mr. Turn- 

 
 TRUCKLEBOKOUGH HALL. 129 
 
 stile, "from those of your projected constituents. 
 Now, seriously, North, how can you maintain 
 such pure political principles as you assume to 
 hold, and at the same time attempt to get into 
 the house by means of a rotten borough ? You 
 must know that your constituents will not elect 
 you for your opinions, but from some other 
 motive, so that your first step in public life will 
 contradict your own principles." 
 
 " Sir, I am aware of the force of your objec- 
 tion ; but when a great and valuable end is to 
 be answered, and the means do not exactly com- 
 port with our own preconceived ideas of what 
 is exactly right and proper, in that case, perhaps, 
 it may be admissible to tolerate a little evil in 
 the means for a great good in the end ; and if I, 
 by the means of a rotten borough, as it is called, 
 can become instrumental in extending the elec- 
 tive franchise, and emancipating the kingdom 
 from its dependence on a few aristocratic fami- 
 lies 1 beg, my Lord, I may not be considered 
 
 as intending any personal disrespect — " 
 g 3
 
 ISO TEUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 
 
 The patriot was puzzled — he wished to unite 
 the sternness of republican virtue with the 
 courtesy of the gentleman, and he failed — he 
 wished to set his face against principles, but not 
 to offend persons. At all events, he felt no in- 
 clination to say any thing offensive to Lord 
 Slender, and, in fact, no one of any feeling 
 could ; for his lordship was a most calm, quiet, 
 and inoffensive man ; and whenever Mr. North 
 was privately meditating, or publicly declaim- 
 ing on the tyranny of an insolent and over- 
 bearing aristocracy, he could never for a moment 
 include Lord Slender in his catalogue. And 
 had not the mildness of the father's character 
 disarmed his hostility, his gratitude for the 
 daughter's courteous attention to his own only 
 child, would have rendered him very favourably 
 disposed towards the family. Therefore, he was 
 in some perplexity, and he was not quite so in- 
 dignant towards the person of Mr. Turnstile, 
 for they had met frequently, and talked over 
 the subject of their political differences; an<J.
 
 TKUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 131 
 
 though Mr. Turnstilehad not been able by any 
 of his arguments to convert Mr. North from his 
 opinions, yet he had at least satisfied the patriot 
 that something might be said for both sides of 
 the question. To the attempted apology of Mr 
 North, Lord Slender quickly replied — 
 
 " Pray, Mr. North, don't apologize for speak- 
 ing your honest opinion. The aristocracy is 
 very fair game, only I apprehend if the power 
 were taken out of the hands of one set, it would 
 be transferred to another. Zealots will be leaders, 
 and the people will be led ; and if ever they do 
 learn to think for themselves, it will not be in 
 our time.*' 
 
 This was a mode of reasoning which the pa- 
 triot did not approve, and there was a flippancy 
 in the mode of utterance, which did not alto- 
 gether comport with the seriousness of the sub- 
 ject, therefore, he the more gravely replied — 
 
 " My Lord, I cannot coincide with your views 
 of political regeneration. I certainly do see that 
 there is much ignorance and degradation of mind
 
 132 TItUCKLKBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 
 
 among the people; but I do not argue from 
 thence, that this degradation must be permanent. 
 It is to be hopedj that as knowledge gradually 
 extends, and institutions are ameliorated, the 
 popular mind will be enlightened, and the chains 
 of slavery and political subserviency will be 
 broken, or will melt away, and men will think 
 for themselves; and though the glorious eman- 
 cipation of mind may not take place in our days, 
 in all its full extent, yet we may hasten the ac- 
 complishment, and may see the dawn which pre- 
 cedes the day." 
 
 Mr. North paused, and Lord Slender filled 
 the pause by saying to Mr. North, " certainly, 
 Sir ;" and to his son, " Charles, pass the bottle." 
 Encouraged by these symptoms of attention, for 
 he did not perceive that Mr. Turnstile was 
 asleep, and that Charles was amusing himself 
 with his sister's lap-dog, he proceeded — 
 
 " Is there not, my lord, a marked, a strongly 
 marked difference between the political aspect of 
 the kingdom now, and in the time of Henry
 
 TRUCKLEBOItOUGH HALL. 135 
 
 VIII. ? And may we not hope that as time ad- 
 vances, mind will also advance ? And what is 
 there that can put a stop to the progress of 
 knowledge and information? To prevent the 
 introduction of knowledge might be practicable, 
 but not to prevent its progress when it has been 
 introduced. Has not the French revolution 
 given a lesson to Europe ?" 
 
 " Revolutions are dangerous things, Mr. 
 North, very dangerous, I don't like them. Have 
 you read Burke's Reflections ? That book opened 
 Mr. Turnstile's eyes." 
 
 And so did the mention of it at that moment ; 
 for rousing himself from his discourteous nap, 
 rubbing his eyes, and smothering an incipient 
 yawn, he said — '/ 
 
 " It did so, my lord, and I cannot think it 
 possible for any unprejudiced mind to resist the 
 force of its arguments. It is a most admirable 
 book. Have not you read it, North ?" 
 
 " I anticipate its contents," replied the pa- 
 triot; " I have not read it, but I know Mr.
 
 134 TRUCKLEB0R0UGH HALL. 
 
 Burke's mind so well, that it is only necessary 
 to tell me that he has written such a book, and 
 I am already acquainted with all its chivalric 
 reasoning. Mr. Burke writes for the nobility 
 and gentry, not for the people. He seeks to 
 convince landlords, and leaves landlords to con- 
 vince their tenants. He appeals to pride by a 
 sophistry, which self-love converts into argu- 
 ment. He can never convince me that the mil- 
 lion was made for one. 1 " 
 
 There was a grandeur and stateliness of manner 
 in the utterance of the last sentence of the above 
 speech, which led Charles Slender to wish for a 
 change of topic ; and without appearing to with- 
 draw Mr. North forcibly from his subject, he 
 alluded to the doctor's philippic against jacobins 
 and jacobinism in his sermon at church. 
 
 " I expected as much, r> said Mr. North, " and 
 for that reason I staid at home. Dr. Muffle- 
 chops is a very foolish and intemperate man. I 
 hope my poor child was not much annoyed by 
 his remarks. "
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 135 
 
 Charles Slender -was compelled to acknow- 
 ledge that the young lady was somewhat affected 
 and disturbed, and he joined Mr. North in ex- 
 pressing his dislike to such a mode of advocat- 
 ing the cause of any party. In the course of 
 the evening, the patriot was made fully ac- 
 quainted with what had passed at church ; and 
 he concluded, that whatever might be the pro- 
 gress of mind, that of Dr. Mufflechops had 
 reached its ultimatum. 
 
 Lord Slenders carriage conveyed the father 
 and daughter home to the cottage ; and when 
 they arrived at home, Miss North began to 
 renew her solicitations to her father, that he 
 would decline the hopeless and useless contest. 
 
 " You see, my dear father, that the kindness 
 with which we are treated at the Hall, and the 
 very indifferent manner in which allusion is 
 made to the affair, is enough to prove that my 
 Lord Slender knows you have no chance what- 
 ever of success. I am sure Mr. Jackson is de- 
 ceiving you. Besides, do you think that, if he 
 ever had it in his power to turn the election,
 
 136 TRUCKLEB0R0UGH HALL. 
 
 such a man as he would not have made his ad- 
 vantage of it before this time ?" 
 
 " My dear child, I am pleased with the 
 manners of our friends at the Hall, and with 
 the kind attentions which Louisa has paid to 
 you ; indeed, to say the truth, I have seldom 
 seen a lady whose mind is of a higher or nobler 
 cast than her's. I am pleased, I say, with 
 these things, but I am not sure that some of the 
 indifference, which seems manifested, may not 
 be artificial, and designed to withdraw me from 
 the contest. His lordship may be deceived as 
 to the extent of his influence ; and though the 
 preceding proprietor of the estate had all the 
 votes at his command, you know that he was of 
 the same politics as the corporation : whereas, 
 Lord Slender being a sort of a whiff, does not 
 stand much higher in their esteem than I do. 
 Mr. Jackson has let me into some secrets con- 
 cerning the management of the borough, by 
 which I see my way much more clearly than 
 you imagine." 
 
 Miss North was silenced, not convinced. It 
 did not appear to her likely that Lord Slender
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 137 
 
 would treat with so much cordiality, an oppo- 
 nent of whom he had any apprehension ; and it 
 did appear to her very probable that Mr. Jack- 
 son had, for selfish reasons, deceived her father 
 as to his prospects of success in the election. 
 She did also begin to have some shadow of sus- 
 picion, and some distant idea that her father 
 was exposing himself to ridicule by his out- 
 rageous opinions, and his manner of divulging 
 and supporting them; and not being able to 
 feel so very strongly the principle of public 
 duty, it appeared to her mind almost ungrateful 
 to the family at the Hall.
 
 138 TItrCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 Nought ran Lis firmness shake, nothing sedaee 
 : t il, still active for the common weaL 
 
 Thokso*. 
 
 On the following morning, Charles Slender and 
 his sister amused themselves with talking over 
 this fancy of Mr. North's offering himself for 
 the borough. 
 
 " It is just such a freak as might have been 
 expected," said Louisa, "judging from the cha- 
 racter which Turnstile gave of his patriotic friend. 
 But that Jackson must be an unprincipled man, 
 to lead Mr. North into such a needless exper. 
 
 " How far Jackson leads him," said Charles, 
 " I cannot say ; but I strongly suspect that the 
 poor man was so fully bent on the achievement,
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 139 
 
 that neither Jackson, nor any one else, could divert 
 him from the attempt. I am really concerned 
 for him, too, on his daughter's account. Miss 
 North appears to be a very amiable and intelli- 
 gent girl, and to want nothing but a little ra- 
 tional society, to finish her character. She feels 
 her father's absurdities, I am sure, most sensibly. 
 Now, I have been thinking, that, if my father 
 had not engaged Turnstile to become the locum 
 n$ for my brother, there would not have 
 been any great harm in putting Mr. North in 
 parliament. Oar own party would not have 
 been so much annoyed by him as by a high tory, 
 and I know some of them who would not be 
 sorry to see the question^of parliamentary reform 
 made ridiculou-.'" 
 
 ■• Suppose vou suggest to Turnstile the idea 
 of giving way to this redoubtable patriot. The 
 experiment can do no harm. Let us go and 
 ask him." 
 
 The proposal was immediately agreed to by 
 the brother and sister, and Mr. Turnstile was
 
 140 
 
 TRUCKLEBOROL'GH HALL. 
 
 soon found, and he was too much at Lord 
 Slender's beck to offer the shadow of an objec- 
 tion to any thing which my lord was likely to 
 propose. Lord Slender very readily fell in with 
 the views of his son and daughter ; and Mr. 
 Turnstile forthwith resolved to have some com- 
 plaint or other, which nothing but the air of 
 Lisbon could cure, and so relinquish the honour 
 he had solicited from the hands of the corpora- 
 tion. 
 
 Charles and his sister immediately walked 
 down to the ivy cottage, and found Mr. North 
 and his daughter enjoying a fine autumn morn- 
 ing in their little garden. After the first saluta- 
 tions, and the usual common-places, Charles 
 opened his commission : — 
 
 " Mr. North, my father and I have been 
 considering and talking over the subject of the 
 approaching election, and we have been thinking 
 that it would be a great pity to interrupt the 
 peace and harmony of the town by a fruitless 
 contest, and that even to yourself it will not be
 
 TRUCKLEB0RO0GH HALL. 141 
 
 very agreeable to have for an opponent an old 
 acquaintance, therefore we " 
 
 61 Sir," interrupted Mr. North, Ci I anticipate 
 what you are about to say ; but I cannot, I must 
 not hear it. No, Sir, no ; it never shall be said 
 of Stephen Bardolph North that he ever de- 
 serted his principles, or compromised a public 
 duty for private and personal motives. If my 
 name be destined to go down to posterity on the 
 page of history, it shall be blended with all that 
 is pure in principle and firm in resolve. I ho- 
 nor and esteem my Lord Slender, your vener- 
 able father, I respect the virtues of his son and 
 daughter, I am proud of the friendship of so 
 respectable a family ; but 1 cannot, for all this, 
 renounce my country, or desert the cause of an 
 oppressed, and injured, and degraded people. I 
 must and will stand the issue of the election." 
 
 There's a speech, there's firmness, there's 
 public principle ! If we had but a few more such 
 patriots as Stephen Bardolph North, theborough- 
 mongering system would soon be at an end. and
 
 142 TltUCKLEEOROUGH HALL. 
 
 corruption would breathe its last. But the worst 
 of it is, that this kind of patriotism will not keep 
 long, and sometimes as soon as it begins to find 
 a fit opportunity for action, it all on a sudden 
 loses its purity and strength. We can also tell 
 the reader something, which Mr. North did not 
 mention to Charles Slender, something whereby 
 the value of his sacrifice to public principle is 
 most prodigiously enhanced. The fact is, that 
 Mr. North was more than half in love with 
 Louisa; he had more than once hinted to his 
 daughter, that it would be a great benefit to her 
 to have the society of a female friend, and he 
 had pretty plainly said, that such a friend might 
 supply a mother's place, and that of all women, 
 he had ever seen and conversed with, none 
 shewed so good an understanding as Louisa 
 Slender; making allowance for certain aris- 
 tocratic prejudices, and nobody is without some 
 prejudices or weaknesses, except philosophers, 
 and patriots, and reformers But to proceed. 
 As soon as the above-named speech had been
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 143 
 
 uttered, or rather spouted, by Mr. North, 
 Charles Slender replied, that he found Mr. 
 North was under a mistake. 
 
 " A mistake !" echoed the patriot, " what 
 mistake ? Did you not propose to me to decline 
 the contest, to quit the field, to renounce my 
 public duty ?" 
 
 " No, Sir, by no means. You would not do 
 me the honour to hear me to the end of my 
 remarks. I was going to add, that we had so 
 arranged matters with Mr. Turnstile, that you 
 may take his place, and so come in without 
 opposition." 
 
 This was too bad. Mr. North would most 
 gladly have accepted a seat in parliament on 
 almost any terms, after his mind had become 
 heated with the glories of anticipation ; but then 
 he recollected what he had said and thought 
 before, concerning Mr. Turnstile, and he thought 
 of the blue and yellow placard, and the inscrip- 
 tions on the church-yard wall ; and there were 
 the great letters, " Down with old Doolittle,"
 
 
 144 TRUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 
 
 staring him in the face. The real proposal was 
 more bitter to him than the apprehended one. 
 
 " I cannot submit, Sir, to enter parliament 
 shackled and fettered. I must go there free, or 
 not at all. No, Sir ; I thank my Lord Slender 
 for his offer ; but I cannot, consistently with my 
 avowed principles, avail myself of it." 
 
 " There is no intention to fetter you as to 
 your parliamentary conduct ; you are left per- 
 fectly free to vote on which side you will, and 
 to introduce what bills you please." 
 
 "But, Sir, I cannot consent to come in under 
 the patronage of a lord. I must, therefore, 
 entreat you to cease importuning me on the 
 subject.*' 
 
 " Well, Mr. North, if it must be so, it must. 
 I am concerned that we cannot make an amicable 
 arrangement. I think you carry your scruples 
 rather too far." 
 
 Here the discussion dropped, and the nego- 
 ciation broke off. What sacrifices do patriots 
 make, in order to serve their country ! And
 
 TRECKLEBOItOUGH HALL. 14>5 
 
 after all, how ungrateful mankind are to these 
 their benefactors, treating them with no more 
 gratitude or respect than if their conduct were 
 the result of whim, vanity, and caprice. It is 
 astonishing that there are any patriots left. 
 
 When intelligence was carried back to the 
 Hall, that Mr. North declined the patronage of 
 Lord Slender, no great surprise was manifested 
 by the party there. Mr. Turnstile laughed, and 
 said that he had known Mr. North too long, to 
 suppose it possible that such an offer should be 
 accepted by him. 
 
 The die was now irrevocably cast ; the patriot 
 had resolved to stand a contested election, and 
 nothing remained, but that the electors should 
 discharge their duty as firmly as he was dis- 
 posed and determined to discharge his. But, 
 alas ! this was not to be. 
 
 And now, we hope, that our readers will 
 excuse us if we stop to moralize, and suspend 
 the narrative for the sake of those wise reflec- 
 tions, for which alone all narrative is useful. 
 
 VOL. I. H
 
 146 TBUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 For when we learn from history nothing but 
 facts, names, and dates, we are only indulging a 
 vain and idle curiosity ; then has history its 
 true dignity, when it teaches philosophy by 
 examples. There is also a pleasure to the 
 author, in making an occasional pause in his 
 work, and contemplating the state and condition 
 of his moral portraits, observing what likeness 
 they begin to bear to the originals, and en- 
 deavouring to trace some beauty of art in the 
 colouring, expression, or attitude. Now, the 
 principal moral reflection which we have to 
 make at this period of our history, is the con- 
 verse of that which we briefly made above, when, 
 after speaking of the ingratitude with which 
 patriots are treated, we said, " It is astonishing 
 that there are any patriots left :" for we are also 
 astonished, that any corruptible electors are left ; 
 because in every borough town, the only corrupt 
 part of the community, is that which has the 
 privilege of voting for members of parliament. 
 For instance, the town of Truckleborough con-
 
 TKUCKLEBOROUOH HALL. 147 
 
 tained five thousand inhabitants, and the cor- 
 poration consisted of forty-five individuals; these 
 forty-five were considered, by all the rest, as 
 corrupt, and every man of Truckleborough, not 
 being a member of the said corporation, did 
 look down with a slight feeling of contempt on 
 such as were members, and did consider them 
 as the mere tools of any lord or gentleman who 
 might reside at the Hall. Of course, therefore, 
 all the inhabitants of Truckleborough, except 
 the corporation, were persons of purity and 
 integrity ; and yet it is very remarkable, that 
 though thirty years and upwards have passed 
 away since the time of which we are writing, 
 and though not four persons are now living 
 who then were members of that corporation, yet 
 the corporation still keeps up its numbers and 
 retains its corruption, though its numbers have 
 been recruited and filled up out of that mass 
 which we noticed as being pure and perfectly 
 disinterested. This is a serious matter, and we 
 shall feel it our duty to call the attention of 
 h g
 
 148 TftUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 government to the subject very pointedly and 
 distinctly. Mr. North had hopes, at one time, 
 that he should be able to effect a beneficial 
 change in this respect ; but, poor man, he could 
 not do it ; and so from want of being able to 
 emancipate the corporation of Truckleborough, 
 he has been forced to live in abject slavery for 
 the last thirty years of his life ; but, happily for 
 him, he has become so used to it, that he hardly 
 cares about it now ; and many of those matters, 
 which were formerly to him a source of anxiety 
 and food for active zeal, now only serve as topics 
 of cool and deliberate speculation.
 
 TRLCKLEBOKOUGH HALL. 149 
 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Oft expectation fails, and most oft there, 
 WLere most it promises. 
 
 Shakspeabe. 
 
 The day for the election at length arrived. 
 Anxiety had been wound up to its highest 
 pitch, and the whole town was alive and busy. 
 Every one was interested in an inverse ratio to 
 his concern in the business. Francis Lather- 
 gills had in the beginning of the morning 
 adorned the summit of his pole, i. e. the barber's 
 pole, with a most gorgeous bunch of blue and 
 yellow ribbons; but Mrs. Lathergills, having 
 the fear of Dr. Mufflechops before her eyes, had 
 dismounted the said ribbons before the day was 
 far advanced. There was, however, some satis-
 
 150 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 faction to both parties, for Mr. North saw the 
 ribbons as he passed by in the morning, and 
 Dr. Mufflechops did not pass that way till they 
 had been taken down. 
 
 Towards twelve o'clock, a multitude of people, 
 with blue and yellow ribbons on their hats, con- 
 gregated together about the market-place, and 
 near the entrance of the town hall : and they 
 talked loudly on the subject of liberty and inde- 
 pendence and emancipation ; and ever and anon as 
 any person passed by, not decorated as to his hat, 
 with a blue and yellow favour, or by any means 
 known, suspected, or conjectured to be friendly to 
 the present order of things, the said passer-by 
 was greeted by exclamations of " Liberty for 
 ever !" " North for ever I 11 " Down with old 
 Doolittle !" and such like election salutations. 
 These people thus congregated in the market- 
 place were not the electors, nor indeed likely to 
 be electors, under any change short of unequivo- 
 cal universal suffrage : they were mostly boys, 
 and idle men, who had made holiday to rob
 
 TEUCKLEBOROUaH HALL. 151 
 
 their families of the produce of a day's labour, 
 for the sake of bawling out liberty, and drinking 
 strong beer at Mr. North's expence. Mr. Jack- 
 son had paid for the ribbons, and Mr. North 
 was hereafter to repay him : for the patriot had 
 given to the lawyer a discretionary power as to 
 these matters. 
 
 A little after twelve, the hall was opened, and 
 soon filled. At the upper end of the room, on a 
 raised platform, appeared the great folks. The 
 preliminary matters having been gone through, 
 Abraham Doolittle, Esq. stepped forward and 
 said, " Gentlemen." Then did divers of the 
 rabble, not regarding the dignity of time, place, 
 or person, bawl out, " Down with old Doolittle.'" 
 Fortunately for the venerable alderman, he was 
 not so soon frightened as Mrs. Doolittle: he 
 merely smiled, and continued : 
 
 ^ I beg leave to propose the Honourable 
 Charles Slender, and GeofFry Turnstile, Esq., 
 as fit and proper persons to represent this 
 borough in parliament."
 
 152 TRUCKLEBOEOCGH HALL. 
 
 Mr. Simpson seconded the proposal. In or- 
 dinary times, and on common occasions, this 
 would have settled the business. Mr. Jackson, 
 however, now came forward, and with much 
 more importance in his looks, than either Mr. 
 Doolittle or Mr. Simpson assumed, began to hem, 
 and smile, and look gracious, and thereat the 
 whole assembly was most seriously affected; at 
 length he spake. 
 
 " Gentlemen ! I will not take on me to 
 question the fitness of the Honourable Charles 
 Slender and Geoffry Turnstile, Esq. to repre- 
 sent this borough, because I know nothing more 
 of these gentlemen than Mr. Doolittle does 
 [a laugh] ; but there is a gentleman, whom I 
 shall have the honour to name, a gentleman who 
 is not a stranger to this town, a gentleman who is 
 not the son of a lord, nor the dependent of a 
 lord, [grvat cheering] a gentleman of real in- 
 dependence of character, one who resides among 
 us, and whose zeal in the cause of liberty is 
 well known to us all. Gentlemen, I beg leave to
 
 TBUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 153 
 
 propose Stephen Bardolph North, Esq. as a fit 
 and proper person to represent this borough in 
 pariiament. 1, [bud and continued cheering.] 
 
 Mr. Thompson seconded the proposal. The 
 shew of hands was very considerable in favour 
 of Mr. North. But as the number of voters was 
 only forty, and the number of hands held up 
 for Mr. North exceeded a hundred, the returning 
 officer was puzzled ; and on his saying that the 
 shew of hands was in favour of Mr. North, 
 a poll was instantly demanded, and the books 
 were forthwith opened, and the polling com- 
 menced with great spirit ; and there was a 
 general call for Mr. North to step forward and 
 address the meeting, with which the patriot, after 
 some hesitation, complied : for it was his wish to 
 wait till the close of the poll before he addressed 
 his constituents. Stepping forward he said — 
 
 " Friends and fellow citizens ! I do not come 
 forward to solicit your suffrages for the honour 
 of a seat in Parliament, in order to gratify 
 any love of distinction, or with a view of selling 
 
 H S
 
 154 TKUCKLEEOROUGH HALL. 
 
 or bartering your liberties for paltry lucre, or 
 ministerial smiles."'' [cheers.] " I can lay my 
 hand on my heart," [he did so at the time as near 
 as he could guess, suiting the action, &c] " and 
 can say that my only motive is, that I may serve 
 my fellow citizens, that I may liberate those who 
 are enslaved, that I may lift my voice against 
 corruption and bribery.''' [He did not pronounce 
 the last word very distinctly, recollecting a com- 
 mission he had given to Mr. Jackson.] " It is my 
 ambition, fellow citizens, to purify the political 
 hemisphere by arguments which no sophistry 
 can confute, by a zeal which no persecution 
 can abate, and by an energy which no preju- 
 dice can resist.' 1 [It would be injustice to the 
 citizens of Truckleborough to say that the pre- 
 ceding sentence was merely received with loud 
 cheers, they were enthusiastic ; for it is generally 
 observed that oratorical triads or triplets are 
 irresistible.] " Gentlemen," [Mr. North forgot 
 himself here ; but he recollected himself so far 
 as not to recall the word ; woe betide the patriot
 
 TRUC'KLEBOROUGH HALL. lo5 
 
 who calls the mob gentlemen, and then retracts 
 the word,] " you are assembled here this day to 
 exercise your elective franchise, that indefeasible 
 right by which you hold your liberties. Suffer 
 yourselves to be no longer held in bondage 
 and slavery; but vindicate your rights, assert 
 your dignity as men and citizens, and think that 
 you have a high duty to discharge ; and I trust 
 you will discharge it faithfully, so that at the 
 close of the poll I may congratulate you on 
 having emancipated yourselves from a thraldom 
 in which you have been held so long." [cheers.] 
 It was a great pity that Mr. North's speech 
 was not heard by many of those persons to whom 
 it was addressed, for as soon as the polling com- 
 menced, the electors gave their suffrages and 
 departed ; so that when he had finished his speech, 
 there remained of the electors only Messrs. 
 Doolittle, Simpson, Jackson, and Thompson. 
 The rest had polled, and were departed, to pre- 
 pare for the festivities of the evening. The poll 
 clerks were sitting unemployed till the above-
 
 156 TKUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 named gentlemen tendered their votes. It is 
 needless to say that Mr. Doolittle and Mr. 
 Simpson voted for Slender and Turnstile; and 
 that Jackson and Thompson gave plumpers to 
 North. The poll books were closed at two 
 o'clock, and the numbers declared were — 
 Fur Hon. Charles Slender 30 
 
 Geoffry Turnstile Esq. 30 
 
 Steph. Bard. North Esq. 10 
 
 Whereupon the Hon. Charles Slender, and 
 Geoffry Turnstile, Esq. were declared duly 
 elected : and Stephen Bardolph North felt him- 
 self very greatly astonished. The successful 
 canditates returned thanks in speeches terse, 
 short, neat, and appropriate. Mr. North spoke 
 as follows : 
 
 " Citizens of Truckleborough ! Although by 
 various circumstances,for which I cannot account, 
 the situation in which I am placed is that of a 
 defeated candidate ; yet I do not regret that I 
 have made an attempt to rescue this town from 
 the degradation of its servility. It is something
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 157 
 
 that ten independent votes have been found in 
 the place, [corn's.] The time, perhaps, may 
 come, in which that number may be doubled, 
 [cheers] — ay, quadrupled. [Increasing cheers 
 answering to the climax.'] And you, my fellow- 
 citizens, may rest assured, that I will not desist 
 from my endeavours to emancipate the borough ; 
 for though unsuccessful now, it may not be so 
 another time ; and you may depend on this, that 
 I will be ready at the next election again to step 
 forward.^ [This was said before Mr. North had 
 any idea of the length of Mr. Jackson's bill.] 
 " I assure you I am not discouraged by this one 
 defeat, and I hope and trust that the friends of 
 liberty in this town are not in despair by the 
 issue of this day's contest.'" 
 
 M r. North bowed and withdrew. Long, loud, 
 and reiterated plaudits followed his speech ; they 
 would have been longer, louder, and more 
 reiterated, had it not been that the beer was 
 ready, and that most of the gentlemen citizens 
 had retired to partake thereof. And ever and 

 
 158 TiiUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 anon, while they quaffed the goodly beverage, 
 there might be heard the shouts of " North and 
 liberty ! Down with old Doolittle, , ' &c. 
 
 The successful candidates were compelled to 
 undergo the honor of being chaired through the 
 town ; and the same honor was offered to, and 
 strongly urged upon, Mr. North ; but he very per- 
 tinaciously declined it, as being totally unnecessar}-, 
 irrelevant, and not tending to the emancipation 
 of the borough. While, therefore, the ceremony 
 of chairing was going on, the disappointed 
 patriot hastened to the house of Mr. Jackson, 
 for the purpose of discussing the cause of the 
 failure. 
 
 " Really, Mr. North," said the man of law, 
 " it is very odd ; but I believe the people who 
 had promised us were actually frightened : for 
 Dr. Mufflechops has been going round to the 
 different members of the corporation, and telling 
 them strange stories about your religious and 
 political opinions — and that has made some dif- 
 ference ; and then, that fellow Doolittle, who
 
 TRUCKLEBOEOUGH HaLL. 159 
 
 appears to be such a simpleton, is not so great a 
 fool as he looks ; and though he is out of business, 
 he has several men yet in his books, who would 
 not find it convenient to offend him. I am 
 truly sorry it has ended so." 
 
 " So am I, Mr. Jackson ; but how happened 
 it that your list of names so deceived you — out of 
 your eighteen only ten voted for me, — what 
 became of the other eight ?" 
 
 " I think, Sir, I can account for two, who are 
 partners in the upholstery line. Mr. Doolittle, 
 on the first hearing of the intelligence f an 
 opposition, sent a note to the Hall, and forth- 
 with an order came down to these persons for 
 some paper hanging and carpetting, to be exe- 
 cuted immediately ; they were hardly to be 
 depended on in the first instance ; and after all, 
 it seems that you had but two plumpers, for of 
 your other eight votes four were divided with 
 Slender, and four with Turnstile. The plain 
 fact is, that we were out-bid or out-done in 
 generalship."
 
 160 TRUCKLEBQROUGH HALL. 
 
 " Well, Sir," replied Mr. North, "as it has 
 terminated so, we must make the best of it. 
 But, Mr. Jackson, can we not somehow contrive 
 to petition against the return of these men, on 
 the ground of bribery ?" 
 
 " Certainly we might do so, but we should 
 find difficulty in getting evidence ; and even if 
 these two gentlemen should be displaced, you 
 might share the same fate, and Lord Slender 
 would nominate two others, who would be 
 chosen in their room."" 
 
 The patriot, therefore, determined to adhere 
 to his determination to make the best of it ; and 
 forthwith returned to his own home, where he 
 was sure of a most welcome reception. His 
 daughter met him at the door, and having in a 
 moment smiled away the gloom of his disap- 
 pointment, informed him that Louisa Slender 
 was in the house, and had been endeavouring to 
 persuade her to attend the election ball. 
 
 " And why should you not, my dear child, if 
 it will amuse you ? I would not have you regard
 
 TRU0KLEB0K0U6H HALL. 161 
 
 my disappointment to-day as a matter of a per- 
 sonal nature, or consider my political opponents 
 as my personal enemies.* ' 
 
 3Iiss North was rejoiced to hear her father 
 talk thus, and pleased was she to see hovv cor- 
 dially and politely he greeted Louisa, the daugh- 
 ter of the hostile house. With a cheerfulness, 
 that had no symptom of constraint or artifice, 
 he began by alluding to the contest that was 
 just concluded, and then referring to what his 
 daughter had stated as being the object of the 
 lady's visit, he most gallantly added — 
 
 " I hope ray daughter will not refuse to 
 accompany so good a friend ; if she declines 
 attending you to the ball, I shall be most happy 
 to wait on you. What say you, Louisa, will 
 you accept of me for a partner ?" 
 
 Louisa curtsied and replied, " I will accept 
 you for a partner on one condition." 
 
 u And what is that condition ? —it shall cer- 
 tainly be conceded, if it involve no dereliction 
 of principle."
 
 162 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 " I am almost afraid," replied Louisa, " that 
 it will be considered as involving a dereliction 
 of principle : however, my condition is that 
 you shall not talk politics, or make any allusion 
 whatever to the election, from the time you 
 enter the ball room to the time you leave it." 
 
 " Will you not by this injunction compel me 
 to total silence for the whole evening ? for if I 
 do not talk politics, or make any allusion to this 
 day's contest, what else can I talk about ? Do 
 you think it possible I can speak or think of 
 any thing else ?" 
 
 The patriot was in high good humour, and 
 uttered this last sentence in a tone of very 
 pleasant irony. It was answered by the lady 
 in the same spirit. 
 
 " What else can you speak of? Oh ! a 
 thousand things, you can quiz the company, 
 or talk sentimentality about taste and the fine 
 arts. 1 * 
 
 " The company will be more likely to quiz 
 me, I think, as an unsuccessful candidate."
 
 TRUCKLEBOBOUGH HALL. 163 
 
 " Not a word, Mr. North, not a word on the 
 subject. I shall expect to meet you and Miss 
 North at the ball, this evening ; so prepare to 
 banish all political thoughts. The chariot 
 shall come for you. So good morning." 
 
 When Louisa had departed, Miss North 
 began to congratulate her father on the forti- 
 tude with which he bore his disappointment ; 
 and her own spirits revived when she saw how 
 lightly he bore the loss. 
 
 " I am quite delighted, my dear father," 
 exclaimed Emma, " that you are in such good 
 spirits after your disappointment, and I am 
 glad to see that the contest is not likely to 
 interrupt our friendship, and acquaintance with 
 the family at the hall. Louisa came down to 
 me, as soon as the election was over, and she 
 spoke so very kindly and considerately ; and 
 she said that her brother and Mr. Turnstile 
 were desirous of preventing the circumstance 
 from rendering you uneasy. But will you not 
 go to the dinner, as well as to the ball ? I
 
 164 TEUCKLEB0E0UGH HALL. 
 
 understand that the gentlemen have a dinner 
 at the Kings Head at four o'clock. I think 
 it will be better for you to go " 
 
 '* No, my child, I will not attend the dinner, 
 for if I do, I shall not be able to comply with 
 the conditions on which I am to have my 
 partner at the ball. We shall have at or after 
 the dinner too much political allusion, and 
 I shall certainly be tempted to utter my senti- 
 ments. If I thought, indeed, that by attending 
 there, and expressing my humble opinions, I 
 could produce conviction in any minds, I should 
 think it a duty I owed my country, to dine 
 at the King's Head ; but people don't reason 
 after dinner, especially corporation people. 
 Then I shall see that impracticable blockhead, 
 Dr. Mufflechops, and hear from him so much 
 nauseous loyalty, that I shall not recover my 
 good humour all the evening." 
 
 " Well, I will not persuade you, if you feel 
 disinclined, yet if you could resolve not to heed 
 the talk you may hear there, it might be as well
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 165 
 
 to let it be seen, that you do not feel any enmity 
 towards your opponents. As for convincing 
 or converting the corporation, I should think 
 that as hopeless a task before dinner as after. 1 '' 
 
 " My dear child," replied the patriot, " well 
 as I can bear my disappointment, considered in 
 a merely personal point of view, it is quite 
 another thing to bear calmly with those attacks, 
 which men calling themselves loyal make on the 
 pure and disinterested principles of patriotism. 
 However, upon second thoughts, it may be 
 better for me to go, than to appear, even for a 
 moment, mortified by a defeat ; for, after all, 
 the defeat is merely owing to the power of 
 influence, the people are manifestly on my side ; 
 and should that most desirable measure, a 
 reform in parliament, ever take place, I think 
 I may calculate on the unbiassed suffrages of 
 the people. Till this day, I was not aware of 
 the extent of my popularity. Yes, I will take 
 your advice, my dear child ; I will dine at the
 
 166 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 King's Head, and I am ready to make every 
 exertion in favour of the great cause."" 
 
 "But, my dear father, you had better not 
 exert yourself too much at the dinner, you 
 must remember that you have promised to 
 attend the ball." 
 
 " I will be duly careful, and will so manage, 
 that my public duties and my personal engage- 
 ments do not by any means clash or interfere 
 with each other." 
 
 Matters being thus arranged, the patriot and 
 his daughter were well pleased ; Mr. North 
 was fully bent on being a firm patriot at the 
 King's Head, and was as determined to be a 
 most perfect gentleman at the assembly-room 
 in the evening; and Miss North merely antici- 
 pated the pleasure of a ball, a luxury which 
 she but seldom enjoyed.
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 16? 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Reft of a crown he yet may' share the feast. 
 
 Grat. 
 
 The great room at the King's Head was nearly 
 filled before four o'clock, so that the waiters 
 could hardly pass through the crowd, to place 
 the dishes on the table. As soon as this cere- 
 mony was performed, and the plebeian part of 
 the company was seated, there entered the room, 
 in great state, the Honourable Charles Slender, 
 Geoffry Turnstile, Esq., Stephen Bardolph 
 North, Esq., Abraham Doolittle, Esq., Onesi- 
 mus Jackson, Esq., the Rev. Dr. Mufflechops, 
 the Rev. Mr. Slapp, and a few other great ones 
 of lesser note. As this goodly company moved
 
 168 TBUCKLEBOHOUGH HALL. 
 
 slowly up the room between the two long tables, 
 a band of music, stationed in a kind of gallery, 
 played the loyal anthem of God save the King ; 
 and some persons have said that Mr. North 
 gave a very contemptuous kind of a sneer, as if 
 disgusted with the music ; but whether at the 
 performance, or at the thing performed, is not 
 now to be ascertained. The party was soon 
 seated, and silence was called, and silence came, 
 and staid just for a moment, while Dr. Muffle- 
 chops said grace, and then fled before the clatter 
 of plates, and jingling of glasses, and jabbering 
 of tongues ; and while the people did eat and 
 drink most loyally, the music in the gallery 
 played most loudly. It was really pleasant and 
 delightful to observe, during dinner-time, the 
 great affability and cheerful condescension of 
 Charles Slender, who, though the son of a no- 
 bleman, was quite at home in the company of 
 humble burgesses ; and he laughed and talked 
 away to Mr. Doolittle, and he took wine with 
 every one whose eyes he could catch : indeed,
 
 TKUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 169 
 
 Mr. Spriggs, the cabinet-maker, has boasted of 
 having been twice challenged to take wine with 
 the heir-apparent of the Slender family. And 
 equal condescension did Mr. Turnstile exercise 
 at the head of the other table ; and he talketi 
 with Mr. Jackson, and with Mr. North ; and 
 all party spirit seemed forgotten. Tories seemed 
 bursting with liberality, and whigs overflowing 
 with loyalty. There was silence again for a 
 moment, and Mr. Slapp said grace after meat ; 
 for the singing ones of Truckleborough could 
 not compass " Non Nobis." Then followed the 
 usual toasts, with the usual accompaniments, 
 and the usual noise. Now come the speeches. 
 
 Up rose Mr. Doolittle, a man majestic enough 
 on ordinary occasions, but with his scarlet gown 
 and gold chain, the grandest looking magistrate 
 in Christendom. 
 
 " Gentlemen," said he, " I rise to propose 
 a toast, which, I am sure, will be received with 
 the utmost cordiality by all present ; it is the 
 name of a gentleman, who has been this day 
 
 vol. i. , i
 
 170 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 elected by a large and unanimous majority, to 
 represent this borough in parliament. Gentle- 
 men, I beg leave to give the health of the Right 
 Honorable Charles Slender, with three times 
 three." 
 
 Thunders of applause followed the proposal. 
 Mr. Doolittle smiled, and looked as pleased as 
 if the applause had been lavished on his own 
 eloquence. As soon as silence could be ob- 
 tained, Charles Slender spoke as follows. 
 
 " Gentlemen, I feel very sensibly the honour 
 you have conferred upon me, in choosing me as 
 one of your representatives ; and I am most 
 highly gratified by the very cordial manner in 
 which you have been pleased to drink my health. 
 I consider this day, gentlemen, as the proudest 
 day in my life. I am aware of the great and 
 important trust which you have reposed in me, 
 and it shall be the constant study of my life 
 to discharge these high and momentous duties 
 which are now devolving on me. It is with 
 great diffidence, gentlemen, that I undertake
 
 TRUCKLEBOUOCGH HALL. 171 
 
 these duties ; but I know you will receive with 
 candour my humble endeavours to serve the 
 corpo — the town which I have the honour to 
 represent. Gentlemen, I beg leave again to 
 thank you most sincerely for the honour which 
 you have done me, and I beg to drink all your 
 good healths, wishing you every happiness," &c. 
 
 The honourable gentleman was here so over- 
 come by his feelings, and the latter sentence of 
 his speech was so loudly and reiteratedly ap- 
 plauded, that no more could be heard, even if 
 more was said, which is doubtful. The cor- 
 poration and inhabitants were delighted with 
 the eloquence of their new representative, and 
 were convinced that their interests could not be 
 intrusted to better hands. 
 
 Envying the applause which Mr. Doolittle 
 had gained for the toast which he had proposed, 
 next rose Mr. Simpson ; and, in a very neat and 
 appropriate speech, proposed to the company the 
 health of Geoffry Turnstile, Esq., with three 
 times three. This was also received with most 
 i 2
 
 172 TRUCKLEBOROCGH HALL. 
 
 loud and hearty cheering, and Mr. Simpson was 
 happy. Thereupon, Mr. Turnstile rose, and 
 addressed the company. 
 
 " Gentlemen, next to the honour of being re- 
 turned to serve in parliament for so enlightened 
 a body, is the pleasure of the compliment now 
 paid me by the drinking of my health by so re- 
 spectable a company, [cheers.] Gentlemen, I 
 am truly grateful for your kindness ; and I trust 
 that my parliamentary conduct will be such as 
 shall make it manifest that your confidence has 
 not been misplaced. [cheers.] Gentlemen, no 
 words can express the regard I feel for the cor- 
 poration and town of Truckleborough ; and 
 there is no sacrifice I would not make for the 
 benefit of this venerable town, and its truly re- 
 spectable inhabitants, [loud cheers.'] Gentlemen, 
 it has been ordered by the wisdom of our an- 
 cestors, and no religious or loyal subject can for 
 a moment question their wisdom, that only a 
 small number of the good people in this town 
 should be perplexed with the choosing, or re-
 
 TEUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 17S 
 
 sponsible for the choice of representatives ; but 
 though chosen by the few, I consider myself the 
 representative of all. [very loud cheers.'] I shall 
 be always ready to attend to all your sugges- 
 tions, and to watch over all your interests, [still 
 louder cheers.] Thus, gentlemen, while only a 
 few are burdened with the duty of choosing re- 
 presentatives, the whole mass receives the benefit 
 of representation, [prodigious cheering, led on 
 and greatly countenanced by Dr. Mufflechops.] 
 Gentlemen, let me conclude by drinking all 
 your good healths, and wishing you all happi- 
 ness and prosperity." 
 
 This speech was followed with very marked 
 and tumultuous applause; and the feasting 
 townsmen of Truckleborough said one to ano- 
 ther, M what a clever man."" And as the ap- 
 plauding tumult was subsiding, the attention of 
 the company was drawn to the grave and solemn 
 form of Mr. North, rising to claim their atten- 
 tion, and threatening them with a speech. For- 
 tunately, perhaps, for all parties, Charles Slen-
 
 1T4? TItUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 der, observing the movement of the patriot, but 
 pretending not to see it, rose up as quick as 
 thought ; and, before Mr. North could open his 
 lips, began to address the company, and in the 
 same moment bowed to the defeated candidate, 
 as in signal of giving him the precedence. Mr. 
 North smiled and bowed, and sat down. Charles 
 Slender smiled and bowed, and affected to sit 
 down ; Mr. N6rth kept his seat, and bowed low 
 as he sat ; and, thereupon, Charles Slender was 
 compelled to proceed. 
 
 " Gentlemen, may I be permitted to propose 
 the health of a respected friend- of a gentleman 
 who is not unknown to you ; a gentleman whose 
 private character is most estimable, but whose 
 politics are not, perhaps, quite in unison with 
 those of the present company, [hear, hear.] 
 But while we differ on these points, it is our 
 duty to honour moral worth and integrity. I 
 beg to propose the health of Mr. North, with 
 three times three, [loud cheers.]" 
 
 The toast was very well taken, for the com-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 175 
 
 pany were growing very candid and liberal. 
 Even Dr. Mufflechops was able to swallow it 
 with the assistance of a large and well-filled 
 glass of wine. Mr. Doolittle took it very gra- 
 ciously, so did Mr. Simpson ; and Mr. Doolittle 
 said to Mr. Simpson, " He is certainly a very 
 worthy man in private life. , " > And Mr. Simpson 
 said to Mr. Doolittle, " So 1 have heard." All 
 passed, of course, in a whisper ; and many other 
 persons at table whispered the same truth to their 
 neighbours. At length the patriot rose and said — 
 " Friends and fellow-citizens ; you flatter me 
 by this kind and public notice. I am most 
 happy thus to receive expressions of your ap- 
 probation. The cause of my country lies near 
 to my heart, [cheers.] I would willingly and 
 cheerfully give my best exertions for its service. 
 Hitherto I have been, as a private citizen, merely 
 a spectator and a well-wisher, and to-day I have 
 stepped forth from retirement, proffering my 
 public services^; these, however, have been de- 
 clined, Yet, perhaps, the time may come when
 
 176 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 I shall be more fortunate. At least I harve 
 cleared my own conscience." [cheers. It may 
 here be observed by the way, that whenever 
 the word " conscience," closes a sentence in a 
 speech, that sentence should always be cheered.] 
 — " The times are full of great events, and 
 others still greater and more important are 
 approaching. New principles have occupied 
 the minds of men, and intellect is now making 
 greater strides than ever. It is not now the 
 time for indolence and inactivity, but every one 
 who has the talent, ought also to have the will 
 to serve his country ; and we ought to look 
 vigilantly about us, and take especial care 
 that our country, which has hitherto taken the 
 lead in civilization, be not now behind its neigh- 
 bouring states in the great science of legislation. 
 A new era is approaching, and mighty move- 
 ments are now going on. [yawns.] What 
 changes our descendants may see, who can tell ? 
 Who knows to what degree of perfection the 
 science of legislation may be carried ? For
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 177 
 
 when once the human mind has received a ray 
 of light, and the torch of knowledge is kindled/' 
 [cracking of nuts and jingling of glasses.] 
 " When once the torch of knowledge is kindled, 
 it is impossible to say to what extent that illu- 
 mination may reach.'' [Whisperings and louder 
 talkings, and a general muttering, as if nobody 
 minded what Mr. North was saying, conveyed 
 a hint to the patriot to cut short his speech.] 
 M But not to occupy your attention too long, 
 [hear, hear,'] let me now conclude by thanking 
 you for the honour you have done me, and by 
 drinking to your health in return.'" 
 
 The company felt very much relieved when 
 Mr. North had finished his oration, and they 
 expressed their gratitude by noisy cheers. 
 Mr. North was pleased with these cheers ; and 
 he prided himself very much on the dexterity 
 with which he had contrived to utter his own 
 political sentiments, without hurting or alarming 
 the prejudices of the company. He was con- 
 vinced that some good effect had been produced 
 i3
 
 178 TRUCKLEEOROCGH HALL. 
 
 by the publicity which he had thus given to his 
 general views of policy; and he was satisfied 
 that the human mind only wanted to be enlight- 
 ened, in order to attain that most desirable of 
 all objects, a rational and free government. 
 But, alas ! while the good man thought that he 
 was communicating some portion of his own 
 spirit to the inhabitants of Truckleborough, 
 the poison of corruption was in some measure 
 infecting his own purity : for, from the inter- 
 course which he had had with Mr. Jackson, and 
 the experience of the total absence of all prin- 
 ciple in the disposing of votes, and from the 
 very agreeable manners of the Slender family, 
 some of what he has called his own bigotry, was 
 rather diminished : and while he was fancying 
 that others were coming nearer to his views, he 
 was rather drawing nearer to theirs. Conver- 
 sion, whether political or religious, creeps un- 
 awares on the mind, and often it happens that 
 a long series of circumstances and events, un- 
 noticed and unobserved, produces a crisis, which
 
 TRCJCKLEBOItOUGH HALL. 179 
 
 appears instantaneous, only because the mind 
 was inattentive to the progress of events. 
 
 But to proceed with our history. After the 
 new representatives had, with all due compli- 
 ments to the talents and virtues of the respective 
 parties, proposed the health of the Mayor, and 
 Recorder, and Town Clerk, and other ornaments 
 of Truckleborough, the company began to dis- 
 perse, and prepare for the more graceful fes- 
 tivities of the ball. Election balls are much 
 alike every where, very much frequented, and 
 very much reprobated. It would be tedious to 
 enter very minutely into all the arrangements, 
 or to describe very particularly the dresses and 
 decorations of the ladies who graced it with their 
 presence. A list of the dresses, indeed, might 
 be as interesting as the catalogue of the ships in 
 Homer's Iliad, and might as much tax the 
 author's invention, and the reader's patience. 
 Suffice it then to say, that Mrs. Doolittle sported 
 the finest satin, Miss Simpson the gayest plumes, 
 Miss Clarke the largest. Roman pearls, Miss
 
 180 TRUCKLEBOKOUGH HALL, 
 
 Thompson the most fanciful flowers, Miss 
 Jackson the most bespangled turban, and Miss 
 North the cleanest white muslin frock of any in 
 the room. 
 
 Our readers have been already informed, that 
 Mrs. Doolittle does not dance; but lest they 
 should have forgotten it we here repeat it. Now, 
 under these circumstances, it was clearly the 
 duty of the mayor to provide as a partner, with 
 whom the ball should be opened, some lady next 
 in rank in the corporation. Mr. Doolittle knew 
 that Miss Jackson should, by rights, have that 
 honour ; but he so hated Mr. Jackson, that he 
 was determined to overlook that right of succes- 
 sion, and was hesitating, whether his choice 
 should fix on Miss Simpson, or Miss Clarke, 
 when Charles Slender familiarly addressing him- 
 self to the civil magistrate, for an introduction to 
 some young lady as a partner, poor Mr. Doo- 
 little in his hurry and bewilderment, could not 
 recognize Miss Simpson in her fine plumage, 
 and by a strange blunder, presented the honour-
 
 TItUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 181 
 
 able gentleman to Miss North, who was accord- 
 ingly led out to open the ball with the Honor- 
 able Charles Slender. Emma blushed, and felt 
 that she blushed, and so blushed the more : for, 
 not being aware that there might be any circum- 
 stance occurring at the ball to excite her timidity, 
 she had not provided, as some tremulous dam- 
 sels, to conceal a passing natural blush by means 
 of a permanent and artificial one. With the 
 exception of this blunder, the ball passed off 
 very well. For Mr. Turnstile, who w r as far 
 better acquainted with the corporation, and their 
 families, than was his friend Charles Slender, 
 took for his first partner, Miss Simpson, and for 
 his second, Miss Clarke. The tongues of all 
 Truckleborough were kept in motion for a fort- 
 night by the means of this election ball. Miss 
 Simpson and Miss Clarke were loud and unani- 
 mous in praise of Mr. Turnstile. He was the 
 most perfect gentleman they had ever seen : 
 very likely. He was the best dancer they had 
 ever danced with: very likely. He was the
 
 182 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 most intelligent man they had ever conversed 
 with : very likely too. But for the Honorable 
 Charles Slender, the ladies had not so much to 
 say. He was a fine looking young man, but rather 
 reserved ; very kind hearted, and it was quite 
 an act of charity in him to patronize poor Miss 
 North : though it would have been more in order 
 had he selected for a partner some one more con- 
 nected with the corporation ; but the Slenders 
 had all along very much noticed Mr. North and 
 his daughter ; and, perhaps, it was as well that 
 this notice should he taken of Miss North, were 
 it only to shew that there was no feeling of hosti- 
 lity on the circumstance of the opposition. Some 
 persons expressed their surprise, that Mr. North 
 should be so fortunate as to have Louisa for his 
 partner at the ball. The most knowing ones, how- 
 ever, discovered that it was all previously arranged 
 by the Slenders, who, from a feeling of aristocratic 
 pride, did not choose to condescend to dance 
 with the people of the corporation ; and there 
 was a great deal of satisfaction in the discovery
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 183 
 
 that the Slenders were very proud people. To 
 be sure they were very charitable, but there 
 might be as much of ostentation as of benevo- 
 lence in their charity. Then as to Miss North, 
 whom nobody scarcely knew before, it was cer- 
 tainly very ridiculous for so young and simple 
 a looking creature to set herself up before the 
 Miss Simpsons, Miss Thompsons, Miss Clarkes, 
 and many others ; but she was so proud of her 
 father having stood a contest for Truckle- 
 borough, that she began to think herself a per- 
 son of some consequence. Miss Thompson, 
 however, consoled herself, that though her papa 
 was in trade, he was a richer man, most likely, 
 than Mr. North, who set himself up for a gentle- 
 man. Now it is very certain, that the Thompsons, 
 Simpsons, Clarkes, and Jacksons had abundant 
 right to complain ; they were very ill-used, and 
 all their remarks were very just and proper, and 
 such as any body would have made in their situa- 
 tion, and they did wisely in expressing themselves 
 accordingly; and if Mr. North had petitioned
 
 184 TRUCKLEBOJIOUGH HALL. 
 
 parliament against the return of the two mem- 
 bers, these ladies ought also to have presented 
 a petition for redress, and a new ball, which no 
 doubt they would have had granted to them on 
 a fair representation of their case.
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 185 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 Now, pray you, seek no colour for your going, 
 But bid farewell and go. 
 
 Shakespeare. 
 
 When the nominees of some noble lord are 
 chosen to sit in parliament, as representatives of 
 any borough, and when they have gone through 
 the fatigue, and undergone the civility of can- 
 vassing, and have given their constituents and 
 their friends a noisy dinner at the largest room 
 at the inn, and have afterwards given a ball, to 
 which all the neighbourhood is invited ; what 
 do they do next ? — They invariably leave the 
 said borough town as soon as possible, and turn 
 their backs for six years on those most worthy 
 and independent gentry, for whom they feel so
 
 188 TEUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 much regard, and for whose interests their 
 whole souls are anxious and alive. The Honor- 
 able Charles Slender and Mr. Geoffry Turnstile 
 then did no more than what every one would do 
 in their situation : they ordered the carriage to 
 be ready about an hour after breakfast, and 
 employed that hour in squeezing the hands of, 
 and professing themselves eternally obliged to 
 Messrs. Doolittle, Simpson, Clarke, Dickinson, 
 Jackson, Thompson, White, Black, Brown, 
 Green, and Gray : expressing at the same time 
 their deep regret, that they must hurry away so 
 soon from such valued and valuable friends. 
 
 Their last call was on Mr. North. The 
 patriot received them in his morning gown and 
 slippers, and, considering his election disap- 
 pointment, he was in most excellent spirits. In- 
 deed, it does not become a philosopher to be 
 out of spirits on any occasion ; he ought to 
 set the world a pattern of patience : and as for 
 a patriot, he ought not to be angry when he 
 loses his election ; it is only for those who are
 
 TRUCKLEBOIIOUGH HALL. 187 
 
 not patriots to be disappointed and grieved when 
 they lose an election ; because they are merely 
 on selfish grounds desirous of entering the 
 senate ; while the patriot, on the other hand, is 
 never moved by any selfish thoughts : he anti- 
 cipates no profit, he is not ambitious of vain 
 glory, but it is purely and solely for the good of 
 his country, that he desires a seat and voice in 
 the legislative assembly. Therefore, if a patriot 
 has sought for votes and found them not, he 
 must take it for granted, that his fellow-citizens 
 do not need his services, or that they have not 
 wit enough to know his merits and value ; then 
 he merely pities them, and is not mortified. 
 These considerations, or same others like them, 
 influenced the patriot of the ivy cottage, and so 
 he received the farewell call of the elected re- 
 presentatives of Truckleborough with the utmost 
 cheerfulness and good humour. 
 
 iC Well, gentlemen, I suppose you are now 
 preparing for your departure, and looking for- 
 ward to your great duties as legislators." 

 
 188 TEUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 " Even so, Mr. North," replied Mr. Turnstile, 
 " and we have come to take our leave of you ; 
 we shall be on our journey in less than an hour. 
 If there is any thing in which I can serve you, 
 I beg you will honour me with your commands."* 
 
 "Ay, ay, friend," replied the patriot, 
 " statesmen's language seems familiar to you al- 
 ready. Serve your country faithfully, Mr. 
 Turnstile, and you will serve me most truly and 
 most acceptably. v 
 
 " I hope and trust I shall serve my country 
 faithfully, but I fear that your opinions on that 
 subject will not exactly coincide with mine ; and, 
 perhaps, while I imagine I am serving my 
 country, you may think I am betraying it.''' 
 
 " Come, come, Turnstile," interrupted Charles 
 Slender, " we must not commence a political 
 dissertation this morning, we shall not have time 
 to finish it ; and if you enter into an argument 
 with Mr. North, you may, perhaps, have the worst 
 of it. He is an acute reasoner." 
 
 " Not acute enough," said the patriot with a
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 189 
 
 smile, " to convince Mr. Doolittle and his friends 
 that my views of policy are preferable to those 
 of my Lord Slender 1 s friends. 1 ' 
 
 " That you cannot tell, till you try/'' 
 
 " Would you think it worth while to make 
 the experiment, were you in my situation, and 
 knew as much of Truckleborough and human 
 nature as you do ?" 
 
 " Really I cannot say I should,''* replied the 
 representative of Messrs. Doolittle and company ; 
 " but. Mr. North, if you are desirous of coming 
 into parliament on the ground of principle, and 
 with a view to reform, would it not be better for 
 you to make the attempt in some place where 
 the voters are more numerous and less liable to 
 the suspicion of influence ? You would stand a 
 better chance of being chosen at Westminster 
 than at Truckleborough ; the scot and lot voters 
 of that royal city are not much under the in- 
 fluence of the crown or cabinet. 1 ' 
 
 "I am unknown in that city," said Mr. 
 North ; " but feeling it to be my duty as a citi-
 
 190 TltUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 zen to contribute to the illumination of the pub- 
 lic mind, I may, perhaps, soon take up my resi- 
 dence there, and become an active, as well as 
 honorary, member of the constitutional society." 
 
 " I think you cannot do better, with your 
 views, observed Mr. Turnstile ; "for while you 
 are here, you are doing nothing and can do 
 nothing : for even supposing you should con- 
 vince Mr. Doolittle and Mrs. Doolittle, and all 
 the inhabitants of Truckleborough, men, women, 
 and children, and bring them all over to your way 
 of thinking, you would then have made but 
 comparatively little progress towards enlighten- 
 ing the nation." 
 
 Mr. Turnstile made the above observation, 
 not by way of sneer, but with a view of provok- 
 ing Mr. North to mingle more with society, in 
 order that his singularities and oddities should be 
 corrected, and his whims become neutralized ; 
 for he had already begun to perceive some slight 
 change in the philosopher, since his intimacy 
 with the family at the hall ; therefore, he hoped,
 
 T BUCKLE BOROUGH HaLL. 191 
 
 and not without reason, that a more extended 
 intercourse with society would be the means 
 of effectually abating his extravagances. Mr. 
 North himself, too, began to grow weary of the 
 monotony of a country town. Ivy cottages, and 
 rural felicity, and honey-suckles, and nightingales, 
 and village bells, are all very pretty in their way, 
 and at certain seasons of the year ; but they 
 wont do all the year round ; they may be very 
 *vell to talk about in London, but they are not 
 the proper scene for patriotism and public illu- 
 mination ; and besides, the people in country 
 towns and villages don't know what you mean 
 when you call them citizens. There, too, was 
 that Dr. MufBechops, that everlasting rondo of 
 loyalty and theology, that most impenetrable of 
 all blockheads, that great dam that impeded and 
 thoroughly stopped the current of thought and 
 civilization. To be sure Mr. Lathergills was a 
 willing disciple and convert, but Mrs. Lathergills 
 was almost as bad as Dr. Mufflechops ; and 
 as for poor Lathergills himself, he was rather
 
 192 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 converted than enlightened, and he was a very 
 timid man, and, notwithstanding all his occasional 
 blustering, he stood very much in awe of Mr. 
 and Mrs. Doolittle. All these things considered, 
 Mr. North was beginning to entertain serious 
 intentions of removing his establishment to the 
 metropolis, where he might have a more ex- 
 tended sphere of action. The two representatives 
 of Truckleborough expressed their good wishes 
 for the patriot, and urged him to follow up his 
 determination of mixing more with human 
 society, giving him at the same time a few 
 friendly and cautiously expressed hints touching 
 the danger and inutility of an intemperate zeal ; 
 but what has principle to do with prudence ! 
 Mr. North smiled at their well-intended cautions, 
 but was fully resolved to speak out boldly, and 
 fulfil his duty, unmindful of any consequences 
 which might follow from so doing. He also 
 hoped, that by associating more with the friends 
 of reform, he should find his feelings more 
 deeply interested, and have his zeal more power-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 393 
 
 fully excited; for such is the constitution of 
 man, he must be kept in countenance by his 
 fellow creatures, or his zeal evaporates, and his 
 ardour cools. Mr. North had already begun to 
 experience this, and he was angry with himself 
 that he was not more angry with others. His 
 courtesy of demeanour to the Slender family, 
 and the kindly thoughts he entertained of them, 
 frequently gave him a degree of uneasiness, and 
 he suspected himself of being a traitor to the 
 cause of liberty, because he was upon good terms 
 with a borough proprietor. So difficult it is to be 
 at peace with aman, and at war with his principles. 
 The two representatives took their leave of 
 the philosopher, under/the impression that they 
 should soon see or hear of him in the metro- 
 polis, lifting up his voice against the corrup- 
 tion, the sycophancy, the tyranny, the baseness, 
 the servility, the venality, and want of public 
 spirit, which threatened to plunge England, Scot- 
 land, Ireland, and our town of Berwick-upon- 
 Tweed, into irretrievable ruin. 
 
 VOL I. K
 
 194; TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 In a few minutes after this interview, Charles 
 Slender and Geoffry Turnstile were on their 
 road to London ; and, as a country town is a 
 very stupid place after the election is over, per- 
 haps our readers will have no objection to ac- 
 company the above-named gentlemen in their 
 journey to the great city. Turnstile was the 
 first to break silence. 
 
 " I suppose we shall receive the congratula- 
 tions of our friends, on our triumph of yester- 
 day. It was not, indeed, quite so severe a con- 
 test as some of our party have had to undergo ; 
 and we had the satisfaction of terminating the 
 conflict without much ill-humour., on either 
 eide." 
 
 " Yes," said his companion. 
 
 " But what an oddity is this North. Who 
 would have thought of his offering himself to the 
 borough ? I have, indeed, been long acquainted 
 with him ; and I fancy that I know some- 
 thing of his character, but really this last step 
 quite puzzles me. It must have been Mr. Jack-
 
 TRCJCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 195 
 
 son's doing, merely out of opposition to Mr. 
 Doolittle. Don't you think so, Slender F* 
 
 " Yes," said his companion. 
 
 " It is very strange, but I think it will be of 
 service to him ; for it has brought him to mingle 
 a little more in society, and has, no doubt, driven 
 some few conceits out of his head : and I don't 
 think him an incurable patriot." 
 
 To this remark, and many others of a similar 
 nature, which were most fluently and copiously 
 poured forth by Mr. Turnstile, did Charles 
 Slender give, from time to time such answers, 
 of yes or no, as they imperatively required. So 
 long as Mr. Turnstile found himself amused by 
 the sound of his own voice, so long did he 
 take no heed of the unusual taciturnity of his 
 companion ; but when he had tired himself, and 
 was disposed to hear as well as to be heard, he 
 presently noticed his friend's silence. 
 
 " My good friend, how silent you are — what 
 are you thinking about ? Are you meditating 
 your maiden speech ?" 
 
 k 2
 
 196 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 " Why, no," replied Charles, " I was only 
 thinking — thinking how very — what a ridiculous 
 sermon Dr. Mufflechops preached last Sunday. 
 That man is a downright fool ; he can certainly 
 know nothing of my father's politics, to think of 
 paying his court at the Hall by such intem- 
 perance." 
 
 Turnstile laughed, and thought it very sin- 
 gular that his young friend, who was not in 
 general much of a sermon fancier, should have 
 been so much occupied in dwelling upon the re- 
 collection of a political tirade from the rector 
 of Truckleborough. 
 
 " A very silly sermon to be sure, but not 
 worth thinking of now it is finished. Would 
 you have the poor man prosecuted for high trea- 
 son in the pulpit, as Dr. Sacheverel was ? We 
 do not live in days so unfavourable to tory prin- 
 ciples, as to lead one to hope for a very severe 
 verdict." 
 
 " But it was so insultingly personal," replied 
 Charles Slender. " What business had he to
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 197 
 
 make such an attack on Mr. North, who is, 
 after all, a very worthy, well-meaning man. 
 His politics are somewhat wild and extravagant; 
 but he is very sincere, and, I believe, he ac- 
 tually fanci es that the state cannot be preserved 
 without the adoption of his notions.'* 1 
 
 " So is the doctor very sincere ; he firmly 
 believes in the great wickedness and manifold 
 inconvenience of opposing or contradicting the 
 powers that be."" 
 
 " As sincere as ignorance and interest can 
 make him," responded Charles Slender. " I 
 do most cordially hate such a character ; I have 
 no patience with the man." 
 
 " Softly, softly, my" good friend ; now let me 
 talk seriously to you. You are a young man, 
 and you have all the violence of youth about 
 you ; but you will do well to govern and mode- 
 rate yourself. It is not good policy to be so 
 over-ardent in your expressions and feelings, 
 either of hatred or love. Dr. Mufflechops is a 
 very great blockhead, and a contemptible fel-
 
 198 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 low: there can be but one opinion on that sub- 
 ject ; but you need not let a matter of opinion 
 run away with your self-command. I had ex- 
 actly the same feeling as to the impropriety of 
 his sermon as you had ; but I did not think it 
 necessary to make so public a display of that 
 feeling; and, indeed, there is very little good 
 done by that volunteer championship." 
 
 " My good Sir," replied the young gen- 
 tleman, whose ardour was by no means abated 
 by this harangue, " how can you be an advo- 
 cate for such time-serving principles ? What ! 
 am I to behold with calmness and indiffer- 
 ence acts of oppression, and scenes of in- 
 justice ? Am I to bring all my natural and 
 honest feelings of contempt for what is base, 
 down to the level of a cool, calculating pru- 
 dence, and to a question of personal, selfish ad- 
 vantage ? No, no, Sir ; I have not yet learned 
 to disguise or conceal my feelings, and I hope I 
 never shall." 
 
 " And yet," replied Mr. Turnstile, " you
 
 TRUOKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 199 
 
 have the reputation of being a well-bred man 
 and a gentleman ; and, methinks, it is not easy 
 to preserve or acquire that character, without an 
 occasional suppression of opinion, or conceal- 
 ment of feeling." 
 
 " I must beg your pardon, Mr. Turnstile ; 
 whether my reputation is well or ill deserved, I 
 cannot say ; but it does not appear to me that 
 insincerity is an essential part of the character 
 of a gentleman. There may be, indeed, a blunt 
 rudeness, which arrogates to itself the title of 
 sincerity, and apologizes for itself under the 
 garb of plain dealing : this is, in my estimation 
 ungentlemanlike ; but a proper and becoming 
 politeness is not, therefore, the reverse of sin- 
 cerity.'' 1 
 
 Mr. Turnstile smiled at his young friend's 
 earnestness, and said, " You were, undoubtedly, 
 very courteous and polite in your taking leave 
 of the electors of Truckleborough this morn- 
 ing ; and yet, if you were called on to declare,
 
 200 TRUCKLEBOROCGH HALL. 
 
 on your honour, that you really believed all you 
 said, you would have some hesitation.'" 
 
 " Now, you are carrying the argument to a 
 ridiculous extent ; for the language, which you 
 thus characterize as insincere, deceives nobody ; 
 it is merely the conventional language of society, 
 and the omission of it is an act of rudeness." 
 
 " And you will also find," replied Mr. Turn- 
 stile, " that it is the conventional practice of so- 
 ciety to abstain from an expression of all the 
 opinions we entertain of men or manners. Be- 
 sides, to say nothing more, it is very inconvenient 
 to express opinions too loudly and too strongly ; 
 for a time may come in which a change of opi- 
 nion may lead to a different kind of expression, 
 and then it will be very disagreeable to have 
 our former language quoted against us, which 
 must be the case when we are very violent. Now 
 if we are not too violent and ardent in our ex- 
 pressions, but merely belong generally to a cer- 
 tain party, we are at liberty, in case of a change,
 
 TRCCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 201 
 
 to explain our former views according to cir- 
 cumstances: but when our language is very 
 strong, it stands on record against us, and there 
 is no possibility of gainsaying it, or softening 
 it down by explanation or comment." 
 
 Charles Slender thought these sentiments most 
 abominable ; he had some idea that Mr. Turn- 
 stile had acted upon them ; but it quite scan- 
 dalized him to hear such principles openly and 
 deliberately avowed. He relapsed, therefore, into 
 his former silence, and meditated again on the 
 intemperate zeal of Dr. Mufflechops; and he 
 settled it in his own mind that the sincerity and 
 eeal of Mr. North were far more respectable 
 than the same qualities in the reverend doctor ; 
 inasmuch, as the philosopher did not carry them 
 to market, and the doctor did. The journey 
 was, therefore, finished in silence, or in common- 
 place desultory chat. 
 
 As soon as their arrival in town was made known, 
 the new members for Truckleborough were 
 honoured by the congratulations of their nume- 
 x 3
 
 202 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 rous friends and acquaintance. Mr. Turnstile 
 found that his intimates had not forgotten him 
 during his absence ; for not a few, whose politics 
 were in unison with those of Mr. North, came 
 to pay their respects to the newly elected legis- 
 lator, and to urge upon the honourable gentleman 
 the importance and necessity of supporting and 
 advocating the principles of parliamentary reform. 
 They had not been fully aware of the extent of 
 the revolution which had taken place in the mind 
 and views of their quondam associate ; for though 
 he had somewhat withdrawn himself from their 
 society, and had not recently mingled much in 
 their discussions, yet he had represented this 
 partial withdrawing, not as a relinquishing of 
 the principle, but as compelled by circumstances^ 
 and almost despairing of effecting their object. 
 When, therefore, they did perceive that their 
 good friend was become a member of the commons' 
 house of parliament, and under the patronage of 
 a nobleman who had been generally regarded as 
 of liberal principles, they began to entertain
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 203 
 
 sanguine expectations of the flourishing aspect 
 of their affairs, and to hope that a reform was not 
 far distant. 
 
 Mr. Turnstile soon discovered, that whatever 
 advantage might hereafter accrue to him from his 
 new honour, he had not yet obtained a sinecure 
 place ; for his table was every morning covered 
 with letters, and his doors every day besieged by 
 political friends, and his patience exhausted by 
 hints, suggestions, recommendations, and opin- 
 ions. In less than a week he received upwards 
 of a hundred voluminous outlines of a plan 
 for a speedy, effectual, temperate, rational, con- 
 stitutional, practical reform in the commons' 
 house of parliament; At first he smiled with 
 complacency, and thought them very silly, and 
 then he was impatient and angry, and thought 
 them troublesome and impertinent ; and at last he 
 laughed at them most heartily, thinking them 
 outrageously absurd. Sometimes > he was an- 
 noyed with a most tedious tete a tete with some 
 profound politician, who seemed to fancy, by the
 
 204 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL, 
 
 importance and deep gravity of his manner, that 
 he alone had discovered the grand secret of 
 political regeneration, and that without an illu- 
 mination from his mind, the world must remain 
 for ever in total darkness as to its interests. 
 At other times, he was scarcely less annoyed by 
 a multitude of these gentry, angrily and noisily 
 discussing with one another the true and genuine 
 principles of reform. To be sure he had nothing 
 to do but to listen ; for they were not so un- 
 reasonable as to expect him to hear and talk 
 too; nor had they studied the subject so super- 
 ficially, as to imagine that they had any thing 
 left to learn. Listening, however, is no such easy 
 task, especially when we have no interest in that 
 to which we are compelled to listen, and when we 
 have certain reasons which compel us to dissent 
 from what we hear, and certain reasons which pre- 
 vent us from expressing our dissent. Mr. Turn- 
 stile did not betray symptoms of impatience, nor 
 drop any expression that might be construed 
 into opposition to the views of the patriots:
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 205 
 
 therefore, they regarded him as an enlightened 
 man, and they cherished hopes of the commence- 
 ment of a political millennium. But they did not 
 think, and few people do think, how exquisitely 
 inefficient is a single member of parliament, 
 especially when he owes his seat to the patronage 
 of a noble lord, whose son is not yet old enough 
 to fill the said seat.
 
 206 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 CHAPTER. XII. 
 
 When shall our long-divided land have rest, 
 
 If every peevish, moody malecontent 
 
 Shall set the senseless rabble in aft uproar? 
 
 Rowe. 
 
 Not many weeks had elapsed since the de- 
 parture of the senators from Truckleborough, 
 before Lord Slender, and his daughter, with 
 Mr. North, and his daughter, joined the party 
 in London. The patriot was strongly solicited by 
 Lord Slender, to occupy apartments in his house, 
 and regard himself and daughter as most welcome 
 guests ; but the spirit of independence, and the 
 fear of being corrupted as to the purity of his 
 principles, led him to decline the friendly offer. 
 He, therefore, hired for himself a neat and com- 
 modious furnished house, not far from his lord-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 207 
 
 ship's residence ; and though he declined taking 
 up his abode with his noble friend, he became a 
 very frequent visitor to him. And though 
 Mr. North was on the wrong side of forty, even 
 according to his own account, and Charles Slender 
 was but just of age, they were remarkably good 
 friends ; so that their respective well-wishers had 
 fears for them; the aristocratical gentry dreading, 
 that Charles Slender would imbibe democratical 
 sentiments, and the patriots fearing, that the 
 purity of Mr. North's mind would suffer con- 
 tamination from such friendly intercourse with 
 borough-mongers and nobles. Nor was Mr. North 
 only in danger from his intimacy with Charles 
 Slender : he had a still more powerful tempter to 
 political aberration in the person of Louisa, 
 who, without directly assailing the patriot's creed, 
 so discoursed on the grand topics of patriotic 
 interest, that they did not appear altogether 
 quite so self-evident, nor quite so practical, as 
 the good man had been habituated to regard 
 them.
 
 208 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 Notwithstanding all untoward circumstances, 
 and in spite of all unfavourable symptoms, 
 Mr. North still retained his purity and integrity ; 
 and now that he was resident in the great metro- 
 polis, and near the seat of government, he thought 
 it high time to lift up his voice against the 
 enormous political abuses of the times, and to 
 contribute his mite of co-operation in the great 
 and al I-absorbing con cern of political regeneration. 
 For this end he called a meeting of some 
 choice and select patriots, with a view of esta- 
 blishing something like a forum, or debating 
 society ; in which the principles of government 
 should be discussed freely and temperately, and 
 all persons, of whatever opinions, should be 
 permitted and invited to deliver their sentiments. 
 Thus he thought that by the collision of opinion, 
 truth would be brought to light, and he knew 
 that truth was great and would prevail. 
 
 The organization of this society was no 
 great difficulty ; but there was some trouble 
 in procuring a proper place for assembling. The
 
 TRUCKLEBORGUGH HALL. 209 
 
 publicans of that day were fearful of losing their 
 licences, or, perhaps, their heads, and it signified 
 little to them which they lost, for one was of no 
 use without the other. At last a high-minded 
 and public-spirited retailer of Whitbread's en- 
 tire, was discovered in Shoe-lane ; his name was 
 Jedediah Crack, and he was landlord of the pub- 
 lic-house, called ;; the Pig's Foot and Pie-crust."* 
 This worthy citizen, on condition of receiving a 
 very handsome consideration for the use of his 
 club-room, agreed to accommodate the party. 
 Proper advertisements were put forth, most 
 cautiously worded ; so that, for any thing that 
 these invitations contained, the patrons of the 
 institution might be the lovers of established 
 government, and the advocates of things that be. 
 About a quarter of an hour previously to the 
 time announced for the taking of the chair, the 
 room was tolerably well filled, and Mr. North 
 and his immediate supporters had some slight 
 difficulty in reaching that end of the apartment 
 where was placed the president's chair. The
 
 210 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 proposal, that citizen North should be requested 
 to take the chair, was carried with acclamation ; 
 though few persons there present knew who or 
 what citizen North was. Citizen North accord- 
 ingly acceded to the wish thus unanimously 
 and cordially expressed ; taking the chair, he 
 bowed most politely to the audience, or com- 
 pany, rather more politely, indeed, than one 
 citizen should bow to another, for some of the 
 party said, that such bending of the body, 
 savoured too strongly of courtly manners ; but 
 others more candidly attributed it to the respect 
 which citizen North bore to the majesty of the 
 people. 
 
 The chairman being duly installed, or en- 
 throned, proceeded forthwith to the business of 
 the evening, and commenced with a powerfully 
 argumentative and impressively eloquent speech, 
 of which only the following meagre outline 
 remains : — 
 
 " Fellow-citizens ! we are assembled this even- 
 ing at the Pig's Foot and Pie-crust, through
 
 TEUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 211 
 
 the kindness of citizen Crack, and for the pur- 
 pose of liberating Europe from tyranny and 
 priestcraft. Truth needs only fair scope and 
 freedom, and it must prevail. We are as will- 
 ing to hear the sentiments of others, as we are 
 to utter our own, and in the conflict of opinion 
 we may hope for the development of truth. 
 Our object is discussion, only discussion ; we 
 have no seditious or traitorous views ; we do 
 not design to overthrow the government by 
 force of arms, but we desire to purify it by 
 force of argument ; we have no wish to subvert 
 any thing that is established, merely because it 
 is established ; and all the innovation we de- 
 sire is the innovation of improvement. But, 
 fellow-citizens ! we shall never see the diffu- 
 sion of rational principles of government, till 
 the public mind is enlightened. c Know- 
 ledge,' said Lord Bacon, < is power.' Now, 
 if we increase our political knowledge, we 
 increase in the same ratio our political power. 
 For the purpose of acquiring and diffusing
 
 212 TRUCKLEEOROUGH HALL. 
 
 knowledge, this society is formed ; and what can 
 be a more effectual instrument of increasing 
 knowledge than associations like the present? 
 [A tremendous burst of applause.'] Let us then 
 proceed to business with all due decorum, re- 
 membering that the eyes of Europe are upon 
 us, and that on the vigour and wisdom of our 
 decisions the slavery or liberty of millions 
 may depend. Our first discussion, fellow-citizens, 
 is, c What form of government is best calcu- 
 lated to secure the liberties and promote the 
 happiness of a great and enlightened nation P 5 I 
 hope that this question may now be fairly and 
 freely discussed, and I wish that every facility 
 should be given for the utterance of every variety 
 of opinion, for thus only we can arrive at truth." 
 A great deal of applause followed this speech, 
 and a great deal more applause would have fol- 
 lowed it, had it not been for the circumstance 
 that most of the leaders of the loud expressions 
 of commendation were desirous of uttering their 
 opinions on the great question. Therefore, as
 
 TEUCKLEBOKOCJGH HALL. 213 
 
 soon as the president had closed his introduc- 
 tory harangue, and had stated the subject of the 
 evening's debate, not less than a dozen active 
 citizens, whose eyes were fixed on the patriotic 
 chairman, and who were unobservant of each 
 other, sprang from their seats simultaneously, 
 and with one voice exclaimed, " Mister Presi- 
 dent." Now, though Mister President was 
 gifted by nature with two ears, and with only 
 one tongue, in order, as some wise one has ex- 
 pressed it, that he might say little and hear 
 much ; yet it was beyond the power of those two 
 ears, stretched to their utmost, to receive the 
 twelvefold eloquence of the Shoe-lane patriots. 
 A task next in difficulty, was to ascertain which 
 of the twelve should have the precedence, they 
 all rose at once, and had all at once caught the 
 chairman's eye, at least so the chairman thought. 
 Mr. North was puzzled for a moment, but his 
 sagacity furnished presently a clue to the diffi- 
 culty, and he proposed, that, as there was some 
 little perplexity on the subject of precedence, it
 
 214 TRDCKLEBOROUGH H^LL. 
 
 might be as well that age should determine it, 
 and that the eldest should speak first, provided 
 it could be ascertained which was the eldest. 
 Now, fortunately this point could easily be as- 
 certained, inasmuch, as eleven out of the twelve 
 had scarcely finished their apprenticeship, and 
 the twelfth had at least completed his sixtieth 
 year. This being known to the meeting, a 
 general call was made for Mr. Snubbs. 
 
 Thereupon Mr. Snubbs rose. It is fitting, 
 however, that our readers should know who and 
 what the said citizen was ; for he was a stranger 
 even to Mr. North, who had all along been 
 rather a kind of aristocratic democrat. Mr. 
 Snubbs was by profession a journeyman-printer, 
 and had been so for forty years. His political 
 idol and philosophic model was Dr. Franklin, 
 whose peculiarities he imitated as far as he knew 
 them, and whose opinions he adopted as far as 
 he could ascertain them. To say the truth, Mr. 
 Snubbs was a decided republican, but he was 
 by no means formidable to the existing govern-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 215 
 
 mant. Nature had not constructed his bodily 
 frame for acts of personal violence, his stature 
 not exceeding five feet, and the dimensions of 
 his breadth and circumference being in fair pro- 
 portion to his height. His great strength lay 
 in his intellect. He was a powerful reasoner, 
 and would have converted any one that would 
 have had the patience to hear him out ; but, for- 
 tunately for the cause of monarchy, no such 
 person could be found, for in proportion to the 
 irresistibility of his argument was the intermina- 
 bility of his eloquence, and his logic was always 
 conclusive, but never concluded. He was a 
 regular attendant at all the debating societies 
 within his reach, and as regular an annoyance, 
 till that most wise and salutary law was generally 
 adopted, which limits each speaker to a given 
 number of minutes. The aspect of Citizen 
 Snubbs was not otherwise remarkable, than that 
 he wore a neat little curled brown wig, and a 
 pair of green spectacles, and his head was round, 
 and his face was round, and his shoulders were
 
 216 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 round : he never looked round when he spoke, but 
 kept his eye constantly fixed on the chairman. 
 The above described citizen thus spoke : 
 
 " Mr. President ! As you have announced 
 from the chair that the subject for our discussion 
 on the present occasion is, 6 What form of 
 government is best calculated to secure the 
 liberties, and promote the happiness of a great 
 and enlightened nation P 1 I will take the liberty 
 of addressing you very briefly, and in as few 
 words as possible, concerning the views and 
 opinions, which, from a very considerable and 
 deep reflection and meditation, I have been led 
 to adopt on this very momentous and interesting 
 subject. For it is a subject, Sir, in which every 
 body is interested and concerned, forasmuch as 
 every body in civilized society is either governed, 
 or governing : and it is a duty which every one 
 owes to himself and to society, to make himself 
 fully acquainted with all the principles of govern- 
 ment, and to ascertain on what foundation those 
 principles rest. Indeed if we do not take pains
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 21? 
 
 to examine the subject in all its bearings and 
 ramifications, and to trace it in all its wanderings, 
 and, if I may speak figuratively, in all its mean- 
 derings and serpentine undulations, we may be 
 most easily deceived and imposed upon, and our 
 liberties may be surreptitiously wrested out of 
 our hands by violence, fraud, or deceit. Have 
 we not invariably and uniformly found, generally 
 speaking, that those people and nations are 
 most grossly oppressed where the science of 
 government is least understood, and least fre- 
 quently discussed ? Look, Sir, at Turkey, 
 look at Morocco, look at China. These people 
 have not the slightest notion of the grounds of 
 government ; they know nothing of the social 
 compact, which is the great basis of civil society. 
 It would be a labour worthy of a citizen of the 
 world to translate the writings of Algernon 
 Sydney and John Milton into the Chinese lan- 
 guage. But, to return from this digression, and 
 to advert more especially and particularly to the 
 subject at present under discussion, the question 
 
 VOL I. L
 
 218 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 now before us is, what form of government is 
 best ? or to that effect, for I forget the precise 
 form in which you put the question ; that, how- 
 ever, is the meaning of it. Now, Sir, there are 
 seven or eight preliminary considerations to be 
 gone over, before we can fully and accurately 
 enter into the subject." 
 
 We will venture to decide for our readers, 
 that they are by no means desirous of reading 
 these seven or eight preliminary considerations, 
 and even if they are desirous of it, they cannot 
 be indulged, inasmuch as these seven or eight 
 preliminary considerations were not uttered by 
 him who threatened them. The citizens assembled 
 at the Pig's Foot and Pie-crust dreaded the pre- 
 liminary considerations, and, therefore, did they 
 express manifold signs of impatience, so that 
 the indefatigable orator was compelled to termi- 
 nate more abruptly than suited his inclination 
 or intentions. There was considerable confusion, 
 and much obstinacy on both sides, and many 
 appeals to Mister President. These appeals at
 
 TRDCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 219 
 
 length produced Mister President's decision, 
 which recommended Mr. Snubbs to yield to the 
 sense of the dneeting, and to reserve further 
 remarks for a reply. Mr. Snubbs acquiesced. 
 
 Our reporter could not catch the name of the 
 speaker who succeeded. He differed very 
 widely from Mr. Snubbs in appearance and 
 manner. He was tall and thin, with a long 
 hatchet face, and sharp twinkling eyes, with a few 
 short bristling hairs upon his head, like quills on 
 the "fretful porcupine." When he rose to speak,he 
 looked so fierce that the audience seemed resigned 
 to undergo whatever length of eloquence he 
 might choose to inflict upon them. He did not 
 wear the aspect of ofie who seeks with winning 
 eloquence to persuade, or by potent arguments 
 to convince. He rather seemed to look defi- 
 ance to all opponents, and to carry on his coun- 
 tenance an anticipated sneer of contempt for all 
 who might be by nature so unfortunately stupid 
 as to differ from him. 
 
 4{ I differ in toto, Mr. President, from the 
 
 L 2
 
 220 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 opinions which the last speaker was about to 
 express. There is no necessity for any preli- 
 minary considerations : it is as clear as day-light 
 that the best system of government is that, 
 which is most according to nature ; now nature 
 has formed us equal, and that system must be 
 bad which introduces, sanctions, or establishes 
 inequality. I know nothing about rank. One 
 man is as good as another : and one man has 
 the same rights as another, and any man who 
 gives up his rights is a poltroon and a coward. 
 There is no form of government which can be 
 called rational, except a purely republican form : 
 I say, a purely republican form. I don't mean 
 a republic where a few overgrown wealthy men 
 have all the power in their own hands, but a 
 republic where every individual has a real as well 
 as a nominal voice : any thing short of this is 
 tyranny. I pity the understanding which re- 
 quires elaborate arguments to prove this point." 
 This last sentence convinced the meeting at 
 once. A loud and lavish expenditure of applause
 
 TRCCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 2.^1 
 
 was the natural result of so much eloquence, 
 and so much wisdom. Our reporter could not 
 help regretting that so valuable a band of patriots 
 as were assembled that evening in Shoe-lane, 
 should be altogether lost to their country ; see- 
 ing that, under their auspices, the nation would 
 have flourished so much more, and that all the 
 civilized world would have derived incalculable 
 benefit from such an administration of affairs. 
 
 Feeling the impulse of this eloquence, and 
 eager to partake of similar applause, a number 
 of the company were beginning to speak at once, 
 and such was their enthusiasm, that they were 
 beyond the reach of the president's gentle call 
 of " order. 10 One, however, rather louder than 
 the rest, made himself so far heard as to convey 
 to the meeting a proposition to change the sub- 
 ject of discussion. u Fellow-citizens !'' he ex- 
 claimed, ;< there is no farther need of debating 
 about the best form of government, every fool 
 knows that ; let us direct our attention to the 
 readiest means of establishing that form of
 
 222 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 government in our own country. Patriotism 
 does not consist of words but actions.'' 
 
 A murmur of mingled applause and disappro- 
 bation followed this proposal. Mr. North felt 
 himself somewhat alarmed at language which 
 savoured so strongly of sedition. The meeting 
 now became more tumultuous, and confusion 
 was the order of the day. Presently it was 
 observed that the lights were gradually disap- 
 pearing, and that the number of the company 
 was increased. In this stage of the business it 
 seemed eligible to the president to dissolve the 
 meeting and retire. The meeting, however, 
 would not be dissolved, and the president found 
 it no easy matter to quit his post. He now 
 perceived that he was not entirely surrounded 
 with pure republicans and disinterested pa- 
 triots. He had the honor to be in company 
 with divers public officers, and as he entertained 
 no favourable sentiments towards these gen- 
 tlemen, and did not desire to try whether 
 his sentiments might improve on further ac-
 
 TRUCKLEBORODGH HALL. 223 
 
 quaintance, he felt still more anxious to depart 
 from the confusion and noise of the apartment. 
 Two modes of retiring presented themselves to 
 our hero's anxious mind : viz. the door and the 
 window. Two difficulties presented themselves 
 at the same time : viz. how to get at the door, 
 and how to get from the window. 
 
 With that promptness of decision, which dan- 
 ger alone can inspire, the patriot made towards 
 the window, and to his very agreeable surprise, 
 found that to descend from thence to the street, 
 was no great difficulty. As soon as he felt him- 
 self on firm ground, regardless of the dignity of 
 a philosopher and a regenerator of Europe, he 
 ran with most ungainly celerity till he had cleared 
 Temple-bar. Then he paused to take breath, 
 and to commune with himself touching the steps 
 which he should take to keep himself out of the 
 hands of his enemies. He had good hopes that 
 his own residence was unknown to them, and all 
 that they were in possession of was his name, 
 and, perhaps, a slight recollection of his person.
 
 224 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 CHAPTER XIIL 
 
 Thou can'st not say I did it. 
 
 Shakspeare. 
 
 As soon as Mr. North reached his home, his 
 first care was to change his disordered raiment, 
 which had suffered no slight inconvenience in 
 his scrambling out of window, and in his post- 
 haste run through Shoe-lane and Fleet- street. 
 His next movement was to call on his old friend 
 Turnstile, in order to consult what was best to 
 be done in this emergency : for he w 7 as fully con- 
 vinced that the interruption of the meeting was 
 not accidental, and he began to fear that some 
 traitors to the sacred cause of liberty, lurked 
 under the aspect of zealots. He could not other-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 225 
 
 wise account for the intemperance and folly of 
 the last speaker, who had boldly and loudly re- 
 commended to proceed to action. For though 
 our worthy patriot had very exalted notions of 
 the efficacy of mind and of the power of truth, 
 he was not so far gone in absurdity as to imagine 
 ihat any political regeneration or great revolution 
 could be effected by means of a little band of citi- 
 zens, like that over which he had been just pre- 
 siding as chairman: sanguine as he might be in his 
 expectations of great benefit to be derived from 
 free unfettered discussion, he did not think that 
 the physical force there assembled was quite equal 
 to the task of changing the form of government. 
 When, therefore, he heard a proposal to apply 
 themselves to immediate measures, in order to 
 attain the best form of government, he very 
 naturally concluded that such proposal could 
 only come from a concealed enemy ; and when 
 at that moment the meeting was interrupted by 
 the entrance of public officers, he was well 
 assured that there had been some treachery. 
 l 3
 
 226 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL, 
 
 On his arrival at Mr. Turnstile's house, he 
 found that the gentleman was not at home, 
 but engaged at a party at Lord Slender's. 
 Late as it was, near midnight, which in former 
 days was very late, the terrified and perplexed 
 patriot, betook himself to the house of his noble 
 friend, where he found a large party assembled, 
 most of whom were 6trangers to him. He 
 soon descried his friend Turnstile engaged at 
 the same card table with Lord Slender. Not 
 willing to manifest any tokens of agitation, so 
 as to draw the attention of the rest of the 
 company, he merely contented himself with 
 just catching the eye of his two friends, and 
 receiving an acknowledgment of recognition. 
 He then took his station by the table, in the 
 attitude of a listless lounger. 
 
 The game was soon finished, and supper 
 was announced. In the movement which 
 followed this announcement, Mr. North con- 
 trived to let Mr. Turnstile know the danger 
 to which he had been exposed, and the appre-
 
 TEUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 227 
 
 hensions under which he now laboured, and 
 concluded by asking his advice as to the safest 
 mode of proceeding. 
 
 " My good friend," said Turnstile, " I am 
 sadly afraid you have got yourself into a very 
 awkward situation. But what officers were 
 they who interrupted you ? If they were 
 only some of the city constables, they can 
 know nothing about you, and after all they 
 will not think of coming here after you." 
 
 " There were traitors I fear in our own 
 party. The interruption was premeditated, and 
 there was an obvious intention of converting 
 the assembly into a seditious meeting." 
 
 " Well, well, say no more about it now : I 
 will go home with you after supper, and we 
 will consult what is best to be done. In the 
 meantime make yourself easy." 
 
 The last piece of advice was very good, and 
 because it is so good it is often administered ; 
 its only defect is, that it can never be taken, 
 Mr. North could not make himself easy ; and
 
 228 TltUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 what is more, Mr. North thought that he had 
 made himself very ridiculous ; and when that 
 feeling assailed him, as it occasionally did, he 
 was always extremely annoyed. As he sat at 
 table he was absent and full of thought, and 
 every movement seemed full of danger. 
 
 So completely was our hero absorbed in 
 political apprehensions, that he did not even 
 notice Louisa Slender, who at another time 
 would have been the centre of his attentions 
 and politeness. It might, indeed, be rather 
 fortunate for the patriot, that his concern was 
 at this time most powerfully concentrated in 
 himself; otherwise he might have felt some 
 slight pangs of jealousy. For seated next to 
 the lady now named, was an accomplished and 
 gallant cavalier, whose attentions were unre- 
 mitting and apparently most acceptable. These 
 two laughed loud and talked loud, and seemed 
 mightily pleased with their own and each other's 
 wit. In the young gentleman was an air of 
 courtly ease, and a look of confidence and self-
 
 TRUCKLEBOECUGH HALL. 229 
 
 satisfaction. He appeared like one who had 
 been accustomed to receive homage, and whose 
 ordinary habit was that of condescension. 
 His look was patronizing. By degrees his 
 attention became more divided, and every now 
 and then he vouchsafed a move of recognition 
 to one or another of the company. When 
 Lord Slender caught the stranger's eye, there 
 was a mutual bowing and smiling. 
 
 " You have joined our party rather late this 
 evening,"" said his lordship ; " I suppose when 
 parliament meets we shall have still less of your 
 good company.'" 
 
 "You have already less of it than I could 
 wish." His lordship bowed again. The words 
 had scarcely been uttered, when a confused 
 noise was heard in the hall, and a calling out 
 for Lord Vellum. With a polite bow to Louisa, 
 and an important bow to Lord Slender, the 
 accomplished visitor retired. 
 
 « Is that Lord Vellum ?" said Mr. North, 
 to his friend Turnstile ; " is not he one — " 
 Mr. North was interrupted and prevented from
 
 280 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 finishing his interrogation by a movement of 
 part of the company, and Mr. Turnstile among 
 the^ rest, who were crowding round a person, 
 who had entered the room almost at the 
 moment that Lord Vellum had left it, and 
 was horrifying his hearers with an account of 
 a most dreadful conspiracy and rebellion in the 
 city. He had received his information from 
 the best authority, and indeed had accompanied 
 the gentleman, who had been sent to request 
 Lord Vellum's immediate attendance at the 
 Home Office. 
 
 Mr. North was thunderstruck, and his teeth 
 chattered, and he began to think of Algernon 
 Sidney, and Lord Russell, and Pym, and 
 Hampden, and Tower Hill, and Louisa Slender ; 
 and of the sweetly persuasive tones in which his 
 gentle and affectionate child had endeavoured to 
 withdraw his attention from the turbulence of 
 politics; and his eyes wandered, and his colour, 
 or rather all manner of colours, kept coming 
 and going ; and had he not been whispered and 
 hinted into something like self-possession by his
 
 TRUCKLEB0R0UGH HALL. 23 J 
 
 friend Turnstile, he would have made a second 
 excursion through a window ; but was kept calm 
 by his very fears. 
 
 " But stay," said Lord Slender, " stay, let 
 us hear all the particulars of this conspiracy and 
 rebellion. Are they actually in arms in the city ?" 
 " I cannot speak positively, my lord ; and, 
 indeed, I am not sure that I am at liberty to 
 mention all I know in this early stage of the 
 business; but the conspiracy^ fully detected, 
 and twenty or thirty of the ringleaders are 
 secured, and will be examined this very night, 
 or rather morning, before the privy council." 
 
 " If the conspiracy be detected, there can be 
 no danger in telling what you have heard ; you 
 have no official responsibility. 1 ' 
 
 " True, my lord, and most likely the whole 
 account will be in the morning papers. The 
 fact then is, that as early as twelve o'clock at 
 noon, information was received at the Secre- 
 tary of State's Office, that the plot, of which 
 government had been long aware, was likely to
 
 232 TRUCKLEBROUGH HALL. 
 
 come to a speedy crisis, and that a grand meet- 
 ing of the chiefs of the conspirators was to be 
 held at a tavern in the city ; I forget the name 
 of it." 
 
 " Perhaps the London Tavern." 
 
 "Oh no! not that, I am sure — I believe it 
 was the King's Head, it sounded very much 
 like that. I am certain that was the name. At 
 the King's Head Tavern there was to be a 
 meeting held in the evening, at nine o'clock. 
 Their object was, in the first instance, to secure 
 the Tower, then to take possession of the Bank, 
 and then to march up to St. James's, to 
 secure the person of the king, and to proclaim a 
 republican government ; and to compel the 
 king to abdicate the throne." 
 
 To all this, Citizen North did mentally plead 
 not guilty. What a blessing it is to have a good 
 conscience, But at the hearing of this terrible 
 plot, the company were most dreadfully alarmed, 
 and they gathered round the narrator with 
 additional eagerness, as if desirous of hearing
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 233 
 
 something yet more horrible. For so powerful 
 is the love of excitement in the human breast, 
 that mankind are no sooner astounded by some 
 awful calamity, than they wish to have it yet 
 more intensely awful. The narrator then pro- 
 ceeded to tell my Lord Slender and his party, 
 that, in consequence of the information received 
 at the Home Office, measures were taken for 
 nipping in the bud this most desperate conspi- 
 racy. The guards were doubled at the Bank, 
 and twenty rounds of ball cartridge were served 
 out to them. The Tower was nearly filled with 
 armed soldiery, and two or three troops of 
 cavalry were ordered to keep possession of St. 
 James's Park, and watch all the avenues of the 
 palace. In the meantime, a select and powerful 
 party of police officers were sent off to the 
 city, to the King's Head Tavern, in order to 
 secure the ringleaders of the conspiracy. 
 
 " Now that," exclaimed my Lord Slender, 
 " is what I call acting with vigour and deci-
 
 234 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 sion. And so you say, that twenty or thitry of 
 these traitors are already secured ?" 
 
 " Exactly so, my Lord : and it is to be 
 hoped, that if a prompt example is made of 
 them, the spirit of rebellion will be effectually 
 subdued." 
 
 " Ay, ay," said Lord Slender ; " there, is 
 nothing so good as seizing the ringleaders, they 
 do all the mischief; the people would be quiet 
 enough, if there was nobody to lead them on to 
 insurrection and rebellion.'" 
 
 " But I am sorry to say, my lord, that the 
 chief conspirator has escaped, or, at all events, 
 is not yet taken — for he cannot evade the vigi- 
 lance of the officers." 
 
 " Who was he ? what is his name ?" 
 
 " His name is not mentioned ; but, I under- 
 stand, he is a man of high rank, and of great 
 influence." 
 
 " But how did he escape ? Why did not 
 they seize him first ?"
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 235 
 
 " It is said, my lord, that he escaped by 
 clambering up a chimney, and so got away by 
 the roofs of the adjoining houses; but it is 
 thought that he may be yet concealed in some 
 garret or cellar in the neighbourhood, and a 
 vigilant search is now making for him." 
 
 " Well, the vigour of government, and its 
 vigilance, is truly astonishing. How can they 
 become acquainted so minutely with all the plots 
 and plans of conspirators ?" 
 
 " They have an eye on suspicious characters, 
 my lord ; and there is always to be found some 
 one or other of the conspirators, who will, for a 
 consideration, give ample intelligence." 
 
 " But is there not some danger ," interrupted 
 Louisa, " that these informers may, for a 
 consideration, occasionally invent, magnify, or 
 make a plot ?" 
 
 To this remark the narrator looked a look, 
 and smiled a smile of incredulity ; he was quite 
 astonished that any one should, for a moment, 
 imagine, that any consideration whatever should
 
 235 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 lead a traitor to act treacherously to his em- 
 ployers 
 
 None of the company seconded the suspicion, 
 for it would have been a pity to spoil such a 
 beautifully horrible conspiracy, by any suspicion 
 that there could be exaggeration or falsehood in 
 any part of the story. So they all agreed to be 
 most heartily frightened ; many of them, indeed, 
 seemed listening for the report of musketry, 
 and they had doubts as to the expediency of 
 trusting their elegant selves to the dangers of the 
 public streets. But when, listening, they heard 
 only the voice of the watchman, drawling out the 
 hour, and announcing his atmospherical intelli- 
 gence ; and when the rattling of coach-wheels 
 gave signal that all was well without, the visitors 
 began to depart, quite as much delighted with 
 the intelligence of the conspiracy as with any 
 part of the evening's entertainment. Just as Mr. 
 Turnstile's carriage was announced, and Mr. 
 North and he were moving towards the door, the 
 gentleman who had brought intelligence of the
 
 TRUCKLEBOUOUGH HALL. 237 
 
 conspiracy, recollected that he had omitted 
 one important part of the information, of which 
 he was in possession, and that was the fact, 
 that when the chief conspirator was scrambling 
 up the chimney, he dropt from his hand, or 
 pocket, an important paper or document, by which 
 the whole scheme of the conspiracy was brought 
 to light, and by which conviction could be 
 fastened on the arch traitor. 
 
 Now, when Mr. North heard this piece of 
 intelligence, his mind was considerably at ease : 
 for he was very sure that he had not been in 
 possession of any paper or papers containing 
 seditious matters. He had in the course of the 
 narration, had his doubts as to the verity of his 
 implication in the grand conspiracy. He was 
 conscious that his party had no more intention 
 of taking possession of the Bank and Tower, 
 than they had of setting the Thames on fire : 
 and he thought it impossible that any one could 
 mistake the Pig's Foot for the King's Head; and 
 then, again, how could any body mistake the
 
 238 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 window for the chimney ! He concluded, there- 
 fore, that he had been needlessly alarmed, and 
 took it for granted that there was really some 
 conspiracy, and that the officers, or some part of 
 them, might have been misled as to the place of 
 assembling, or that some evil-disposed persons 
 had maliciously interrupted the meeting of the 
 friends to reform, and that he himself had been 
 rather too soon frightened. With this thought 
 he composed himself. 
 
 When they were seated in the carriage, his friend 
 Turnstile began to expostulate with the patriot 
 on the folly and danger of engaging in such des- 
 perate enterprizes. " There, North, now you see 
 into what difficulties you have been drawn by 
 not taking the advice which I gave you. I was 
 sure that your schemes could never succeed, and 
 that they would be good for nothing, if they did 
 succeed. How is it that you have so soon 
 formed this extensive plan, for you seem to me 
 to be the leader ?" 
 
 " I assure you, my good friend, that you are 
 
 •
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 239 
 
 in a great error, if you fancy that I am the leader 
 of this conspiracy, or indeed that I am at all 
 engaged in it." 
 
 "Why, did not you come trembling in to 
 Lord Slender's, and tell me all about it with 
 your own lips P 1 ' 
 
 " I certainly told you that I had been strangely 
 interrupted at a meeting, which had been called 
 for political discussion ; and I did also, at first, 
 imagine that this was the meeting which had 
 been dispersed by the officers, and the leaders 
 of which were apprehended : but when the 
 informant went into the particulars, I was 
 satisfied that he was speaking of an affair in 
 which I am not implicated. When he mentioned 
 so positively that the place of assembly was the 
 King's Head, and that the chief of the conspira- 
 tors escaped up the chimney, and that he was a 
 man of high rank, and, lastly, that he dropt some 
 seditious papers in his flight, I was convinced that 
 I could not be the person, and, that mine was not 
 the meeting alluded to. Besides, my friend,
 
 240 TRCCKLEBCKOUGK HALL. 
 
 you know that my principles do not admit of the 
 use of violence, and to take possession of the 
 Bank would be an act of absolute injustice, and 
 would be depriving the rightful owners of their 
 own undoubted property, I assure you that I 
 am perfectly innocent of all this." 
 
 " You may be very innocent of any intention 
 to seize the Bank or the Tower, and you may 
 not have made your escape through the chimney, 
 but I am still of opinion that you are the person, 
 and that your's is the party in question. It is 
 very easy, in a hurry, to mistake Pig's Foot for 
 King's Head, and window for chimney. * 
 
 " But what seditious paper could I let fall in 
 making my escape ? There I am quite sure 
 that all parallel must cease." 
 
 " Oh ! you might have dropped a letter out 
 of your pocket, or a tailor's bill, or an invitation 
 to a dinner party." 
 
 " But in such paper there might be no sedition 
 or actual treason." 
 
 "There might not in so many words, but
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 241 
 
 there might be found or fancied some treasonable 
 allusions. At all events you will do well to 
 make preparation, and consult with your lawyer 
 as soon as posssible, and prepare your defence." 
 The patriot smiled at Mr. Turnstile's fears, 
 and by this time the carriage had reached Mr. 
 North's abode, and there he alighted. His in- 
 quiries were all satisfactorily answered. His 
 daughter had retired to rest at her usual hour, 
 and no stranger had called since he left home. 
 He was now convinced that all was safe. 
 
 vol. I. M
 
 242 TRUCKLEBCROUGH HALL. 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 Withdraw, my lord, 111 help you to a borse. 
 
 ShAkspeabb. 
 
 On Mr. North's breakfast table lay a morning 
 paper. When the patriot met his daughter at 
 breakfast, and had told her of his visit on the 
 preceding night to Lord Slender, but not of 
 his flight through the window of the club-room at 
 the Pig's Foot and Pie-crust, he opened the 
 paper with great composure. His eye soon 
 caught the intelligence announced under the 
 inviting title " horrible conspiracy. 1 ' Under 
 this inscription the patriot read as follows : 
 
 fc< It is our painful duty to communicate to the 
 public the particulars of a most diabolical plot,
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 243 
 
 which, we have the happiness to say, has been 
 discovered and destroyed. It may be in the 
 recollection of some of our more discerning 
 readers, that we threw out some hints of this 
 nature, as far back as last January, though not 
 in language sufficiently obvious to alarm the 
 unthinking, yet plain enough to excite the vigi- 
 lance of those most deeply concerned. We are 
 happy to find that his majesty's ministers have 
 had the wisdom to attend to our suggestions, 
 and that we have been the humble instruments 
 of saving our country from a revolution, similar 
 to that which has deluged the fairest provinces 
 of France with blood. This conspiracy had 
 been going on for several months. In order to 
 avoid detection, the conspirators had continually 
 changed their place of meeting, always seeking 
 some obscure public-house: and last night they 
 held their meeting at a house in Shoe-lane.'" 
 
 " Shoe-lane !" silently echoed Mr. North. If 
 any of our readers are critical enough to ask, 
 what is meant by a silent echo, we will be candid 
 m 2
 
 244 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 enough to tell them that we cannot tell them. 
 Besides, it is very rude to interrupt a story by 
 asking for explanations. Mr. North read on 
 with somewhat less composure : 
 
 " Early yesterday morning information was 
 received at the office of the Secretary of State 
 for the home department, that a meeting of the 
 conspirators would be held that very evening in 
 Shoe-lane. A detachment of police officers was 
 immediately ordered to be in readiness to hasten 
 to the spot at the hour of meeting : and such 
 was the vigilance of the officers, that not one of 
 the conspirators would have escaped, had they 
 not been rather too late and somewhat over- 
 powered by numbers. As it was, however, two 
 are in custody, and were examined last night 
 before the privy council. Their names are 
 John Nokes, a haberdasher's apprentice, and 
 Thomas Styles, a knife grinder. Immediately 
 after their examination, they were sent off to the 
 Tower, under a powerful escort of the Guards. 
 Nothing has yet transpired of the result of their
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 245 
 
 examination. John Nokes had on a green coat, 
 with gilt sugar-loaf buttons, a black and yellow 
 striped waistcoat, corduroy small-clothes, and 
 speckled cotton stockings: he was apparently 
 about seventeen years old, fair complexion, 
 large dull grey eyes, very small mouth, snub 
 nose, and a very vacant look. Thomas Styles 
 appeared to be between seventy and eighty, 
 very tall and round-shouldered, has but one eye, 
 and no teeth : he was dressed in a short shabby 
 blue coat, no waistcoat, and a pair of greasy vel- 
 veteen small-clothes, blue worsted stockings, very 
 much darned, and large patched shoes. They 
 were taken to the Tower in separate carriages, 
 and especial care \yas had, that they should 
 hold no intercourse, either by words or signs. 
 But the most important fact is, that a paper, or 
 document, was picked up by the officers, and 
 this document fell from the pocket of the chief 
 conspirator, as he was making his escape 
 through the window. In this paper, we under- 
 stand, the whole scheme of the plot is fully
 
 246 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 developed ; and we hear that persons high in 
 rank are deeply implicated. By the paper, 
 which has been so fortunately picked up, it is to 
 be hoped that most momentous and valuable 
 discoveries will be made. 1 " 
 
 When Mr. North had finished reading the 
 above, he was greatly surprised, and somewhat 
 alarmed. He was as innocent of treason as 
 any man living ; but he recollected the fable, 
 which represents the ass putting himself to a 
 voluntary banishment, lest his long ears might 
 be interpreted as horns ; and the patriot was 
 fearful, lest his own long- eared speeches on 
 reform, might be construed into horns of 
 sedition or treason. But the document, 
 what could that be ! He had no recollection 
 of having had about his person any papers what- 
 ever. He concluded, of course, that this 
 must be altogether a mistake, or that some 
 one of the party might have carried with him 
 some scheme, or outline of a parliamentary 
 reform, and that this might have been left
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 247 
 
 behind. At all events he was most happy to 
 find that his name was not mentioned, and he 
 hoped, therefore, that it was unknown. 
 
 Very soon after breakfast was finished, and 
 while the patriot was divided between saving 
 the country and saving his own bacon, Mr. 
 Turnstile was announced; the very worst man 
 in the world at this momentous crisis : for he 
 would only discuss the matter as a concern of 
 prudence and a question of personal policy. He 
 was one of those myriads whose conduct is a 
 practical parody of an old saw ; for, as the wise 
 ones of a former generation have said, " If every 
 one mends one, all will be mended,'' so do the 
 knowing ones of the present, seem to think that 
 if every one takes care of one, all will be taken 
 care of. 
 
 " Well, Mr. North,' 1 began the prudent M. P. 
 as soon as they were closeted together, " I sup- 
 pose you have had the satisfaction of reading in 
 the paper an account of your grand exploit of last
 
 248 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 night. But, pray, how became you acquainted 
 with those two enlightened and distinguished 
 citizens, whom the civil power has so rudely 
 seized ?" 
 
 " I have no personal acquaintance with the 
 men of whom you speak. But, why, Sir, 
 should you apply to them, by way of sneer, the 
 epithets distinguished and enlightened ? It is 
 true, by their arrest they may be distinguished, 
 and why should they not be enlightened, not- 
 withstanding the youth of the one and the me- 
 chanical employment of the other ? You do 
 wrong in forming your estimate of mind from 
 adventitious and external circumstances. Had 
 
 citizen Styles been the son of a peer " 
 
 " He would not have been a knife-grinder," 
 interrupted Mr. Turnstile, " nor a regenerator 
 of Europe. But truce with cant ; I have called 
 on you to consult about your own safety. We 
 live in ticklish times 3 and we must take care of 
 ourselves. Now, what steps do you propose to
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 249 
 
 take ? Do you intend to remain in London, or to 
 make yourself scarce for awhile ?" 
 
 " I do not think that it would be becoming 
 and suitable, that I should desert the cause in 
 the hour of danger." 
 
 " My dear fellow, the best way in the world 
 to show that you love liberty, is to keep yourself 
 out of prison. If you remain here you will 
 certainly be arrested; and what then ?" 
 
 " Then I shall bear my testimony to the great 
 cause of liberty." 
 
 " Bear testimony to a fiddlestick. Why, 
 what use will your talking be to the country ?" 
 
 " Mr. Turnstile, you will make me angry, if 
 you treat subjects of 'this nature with levity. 
 True it is that my individual voice will not 
 have much effect; but, if every one withheld 
 his co-operation from public duty, on the ground 
 of the insignificance of an individual, what a 
 loss would thereby be sustained by society. 
 One person can do but little, and that little it 
 m 3
 
 250 TRUCKLEBOROrGH HALL. 
 
 is his duty to do: and for my own part, I am 
 resolved to act conscientiously. " 
 
 Having said this, Mr. North looked very 
 grave, and Mr. Turnstile looked grave also; 
 and, in a more serious tone than he had used 
 before, he added — 
 
 " I assure you, my friend, that I have not 
 the slightest wish or intention to lead you to 
 trifle with what you think to be your duty; 
 but, I would endeavour to convince you that 
 self-preservation is as great a duty as any other, 
 and that without first discharging that duty, 
 you will not be able to discharge any other. 
 Now, if you do not take care of yourself, you 
 will, in all probability, be apprehended and 
 brought to trial for sedition, and then probably 
 be transported for fourteen years, or even for 
 life ; and what benefit will then accrue to the 
 cause of liberty ? I will tell you in true serious- 
 ness, you are labouring under a delusion ; you 
 are giving the multitude credit for many vir-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 251 
 
 tues, and much intellect which they do not 
 possess." 
 
 " My good friend, I thank you for your kind 
 intentions towards myself, but I must differ from 
 you in the opinion which I entertain on subjects 
 of policy. I know that you have imbibed the 
 common-place prejudice against what you are 
 pleased to term the multitude — you see this 
 multitude only at a distance, you regard it only 
 in the gross, you do not take into consideration 
 the elements of which it is composed." 
 
 " Well, well, we must not discuss these mat- 
 ters now, or you may be taken up and sent to 
 prison before we have done. Now, will you 
 let me persuade you to leave London imme- 
 diately ? The men who have been apprehended 
 will, in all probability be discharged for want 
 of evidence to prove any thing definite against 
 them ; they will pass as mere spectators, but 
 you were in the chair, a speaker and a ring- 
 leader : against you there would be a more pal- 
 pable charge, and in the minds of a jury a
 
 252 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 stronger prejudice. But when the bustle is 
 over about these prisoners, you will be no more 
 thought of or sought after." 
 
 Mr. North had no great objection to personal 
 security, but he did not altogether approve of 
 owing his safety to his insignificance ; he, there- 
 fore, re-kindled at the idea, and replied : — 
 
 " Very true, I may be thought of as a person 
 beneath the notice of a prosecutor ; but, con- 
 temptuously as the leading men in the govern- 
 ment may think of me, they may hear from me 
 some home truths, and some truths not most pa- 
 latable or acceptable to courtly ears : and, me- 
 thinks, if I stood before their tribunal I could 
 utter that which would make them tremble 
 amidst their fancied security. Truth is great 
 and will prevail. 1 ' 
 
 While this edifying discussion was going on, 
 the disputants were not aware that steps were 
 being taken for giving the patriot an oppor- 
 tunity of putting in force his threats against the 
 powers that be. The name of North had tran-
 
 TftUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 253 
 
 spired. By some more gentle means than tor- 
 ture, it had been extracted from the communi- 
 cative lips of Jedidiah Crack, landlord of the 
 Pig's Foot and Pie-crust. A warrant was issued 
 for the apprehension of the chairman of the 
 meeting ; but some uncertainty as to the place of 
 his abode had caused a delay in its execution. 
 
 Just as Mr. Turnstile was about to reply to 
 his patriotic friend, the dialogue was interrupted 
 by the announcement and the immediate en- 
 trance of the Honorable Charles Slender, who 
 scarcely gave the servant time to close the door 
 of the apartment, before he exclaimed : M For 
 heaven's sake, Mr. North, be quick, you must 
 accompany me this juoment, the officers are 
 after you, a warrant is out, and you cannot 
 escape if you delay ten minutes longer." 
 
 There was something very powerful in this 
 appeal. It was not so easy to resist this informa- 
 tion, as it was to talk against Mr. Turnstile's 
 arguments ; and the terror of immediate arrest 
 was much more moving than the distant contem- 
 
 m
 
 254 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 plation of a public trial and a patriotic defence. 
 Mr. North was not inclined to carry on the dis- 
 cussion, and he now submitted to be persuaded 
 that the wisest step he could take, would be to 
 retreat, at least, for a time from the great city, 
 and occupy himself in profound meditations, 
 rather than in deep plots. By the good offices 
 and prompt interference of Charles Slender, the 
 agitated patriot was soon conducted to a coach- 
 office in the city, from whence he took his de- 
 parture for Liverpool, under the assumed name 
 of Mr. West. 
 
 In the mean time, Emma North, to whom her 
 father's danger was as gently explained as pos- 
 sible, was removed to the house of Lord Slender, 
 where, by the kind and unremitting attentions of 
 Louisa, her mind was soothed, and she was led 
 to regard her father's political vagaries with less 
 apprehension of real danger or serious evil. 
 
 a
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 255 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 He little thought, when he set out, 
 Of mrming such a rig. 
 
 Cowpeb, 
 
 As we leave Miss North in very good com- 
 pany, and in perfect safety, we trust our readers, 
 notwithstanding their gallantry, and the superior 
 interest which they take in the fair sex, will not 
 reluctantly attend us hvpursuing the course of 
 the patriot : for on the fate of patriots what 
 great events depend, and on their destiny what 
 momentous concerns do hang ! We have 
 always thought it a great defect, or rather re- 
 dundancy in Mr, Addison's tragedy of Cato, 
 that he diverts our attention from the patriot, to 
 entertain us with a love-tale, and a scene or two
 
 256 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL, 
 
 of touching tenderness: and somehow or other, it 
 so happens that this tenderness is not very touch- 
 ing, and the whole play grows grievously flat, 
 although '•' the virtuous M arcia towers above 
 her sex." The plain fact, is that our sym- 
 pathy with a dying patriot is so different 
 from our sympathy with a love-sick swain, or a 
 sentimental damsel, that the emotions are mu- 
 tually destructive of each other. So then, al- 
 though Mr. Addison has depicted both emo- 
 tions with such exquisite pathos, and so very 
 unartificially, inasmuch as that one is by itself 
 enough to break our hearts ; yet when they both 
 come together in one short drama, they destroy 
 the effect they would have produced singly ; 
 and those matters, which would have made two 
 very touching plays, now make one, which is 
 untouching and untouched. Far, however, very 
 far be it from our thoughts or wishes to in- 
 sinuate by these expressions, that it is our inten- 
 tion to leave Miss North totally unprovided with 
 any means or materials of sympathy and ten-
 
 TRtfCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 2b1 
 
 derness. We are not writing a drama which 
 must be grasped by one effort of mind, but a 
 narrative through which the reader may advance 
 with consideration and coolness; but we are 
 cautious of so arranging its parts, as that the 
 pathos of sentiment should unduly interfere with 
 the emotions of patriotism. Our patriot, too ? is 
 superior to Cato ; for the Roman only died for 
 his country, and then he could be of no farther 
 use; but Mr. North took care to live for his 
 country, and was very much at her service when 
 needed: so that this superiority in the patriot's 
 character, can spare room for a little leaven of 
 tenderness and \o\e. And after all, what if the 
 patriot himself should be. affected with the ten- 
 der passion ; it is not impossible. By the way, 
 what a pity it is, that Mr. Addison did not 
 make Cato himself fall in love: that would have 
 increased the interest of his play very consider- 
 ably. But to proceed. 
 
 At two o'clock, p. m. Mr. North, alias Mr. 
 West, took his seat in what was then called the
 
 258 TRUCKLEBQEOUGH HALL. 
 
 Liverpool post-coach. It was well for him that 
 Charles Slender had secured him a place in 
 good time, for he was the last of six who filled 
 the inside. His fellow-travellers were three 
 elderly ladies, and two elderly gentlemen, all of 
 whom did most graciously interchange saluta- 
 tions with the patriot. One of the gentlemen 
 had somewhat the look of a clergyman, and the 
 other might pass for a Liverpool merchant. 
 The ladies seemed to be strangers to one another, 
 and to the rest of the company ; they did not, 
 however, appear unsociably disposed, for they 
 looked one at another, and then at the gentle- 
 men, and then out of the coach window, as if for 
 something to talk about. When they arrived 
 at Islington, one of them said, " It is a cool 
 afternoon,"" and another said, " Very," and the 
 third pulled up one of the windows. 
 
 Then the gentleman in brown, who looked 
 like a merchant, said to the gentleman in black, 
 who looked like a clergyman, " Have you heard 
 of the plot ?"
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 259 
 
 " Plot ! what plot ?" said the other ; and so 
 said also all at once the three ladies. 
 
 " You don't say so, 1 ' continued one of the 
 ladies; " when and where? and is it discovered ? 
 La me ! all that comes of liberty and nonsense ; 
 well for my part, I wish there had never been 
 such a thing thought of as liberty. But, pray, 
 Sir, can you tell us any thing about the plot ? 
 Was it to blow up the king and parliament 
 house ?" 
 
 " Yes, Madam, 1 ' said the gentleman in brown 
 — " I have it here all in black and white." 
 
 Thereupon he drew from his pocket a morn- 
 ing paper, and as he unfolded the paper the 
 ladies kept uttering exclamations, " Shocking ! 
 Horrible ! Dreadful ! Terrible!" And they 
 looked as if they expected that they should be 
 all blown up as soon as the paper was fairly 
 unfolded. It was sometime before the com- 
 municative gentleman could so arrange the 
 paper as to be able to read it aloud ; for the
 
 260 TEUCKLEBOItOUGH HALL. 
 
 road from Islington to Highgate was in most 
 miserable plight thirty years ago. 
 
 At length, as the stage slowly climbed the 
 hill of Highgate, the merchant, for so we must 
 call him for brevity's sake, began to read the 
 delightfully terrible news, which was interesting 
 to all the company, and especially to Mr. North. 
 In his reading he received divers interruptions ; 
 the ladies exclaimed, and protested, and vowed 
 that they had never heard the like, for it was 
 exactly like Guy Fox. There were also inter- 
 ruptions from ruts and stones, and from a 
 tickling in the throat, which, the old gentleman 
 said, he was always troubled with when he read 
 aloud. Finding that this irritation in the 
 throat rather increased than abated, he turned 
 round to Mr. North, and said, " Perhaps this 
 gentleman will have the goodness to read it for 
 me ?" The patriot bowed, and was going to say, 
 " With pleasure." He only said, " By all means, 
 Sir." And forthwith he proceeded to read.
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 261 
 
 The coach had by this time reached the 
 summit of the hill, and due refreshment had 
 been administered by the coachman to himself 
 and his horses. As Mr. North proceeded in his 
 reading, which was now not easily heard, on 
 account of the increased noise of the coach, 
 from its more rapid progress, he perceived that 
 he had possession, not of the paper which had 
 graced his own breakfast table, but of a second 
 edition of a ministerial or government paper, in 
 which was a description of the person, and a 
 reward offered for the apprehension, of Stephen 
 Bardolph North. Now, it did appear quite 
 superfluous to read aloud to his company, a 
 description of a person whom they had before 
 them. Holding, therefore, his head and the 
 paper, nearer to the window, as if for the pur- 
 pose of gaining more light, he very cleverly 
 contrived to let the paper fall into the road. 
 
 " Bless me, r> said the patriot, " how unfortu- 
 nate ! shall I stop the coach ?"
 
 262 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 " What's the matter ?" said the merchant, who 
 was half asleep. 
 
 u I have had the misfortune to drop your 
 paper, Sir : shall I call the coachman ?" 
 
 The merchant immediately put his head out 
 at the coach window, and was attempting at the 
 highest pitch of his voice to say " coachman/' 
 but he could only say " coach," and that very 
 feebly, for the tickling in his throat came on 
 again, and he began to Cough so intemperately, 
 that Mr. North, in his concern for the poor old 
 gentleman, forgot to second his cry for the coach 
 to stop, and before the fit of coughing was quite 
 over, and the patient restored to the calm use of 
 his organs of speech and respiration, the coach 
 was far past the spot where the paper had fallen. 
 Mr. North had nothing to do but to apologize, 
 and the merchant had nothing to do but to ac- 
 cept his apologies, and to beg that no more might 
 be said about it. 
 
 "For I believe," continued he, "that you 
 had read all that was material, except, perhaps,
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 263 
 
 the description of the person of one of the prin- 
 cipal conspirators ; and that does not much sig- 
 nify, for we are not likely to meet with him on 
 our journey." 
 
 " What reward was offered for his apprehen- 
 sion ?"" said the clergyman. 
 
 " Two hundred pounds," replied the mer- 
 chant, " if I recollect rightly."' 
 
 " Is his name mentioned in the advertisement, 
 or only some alias.'' 
 
 " Oh his name is at full length. — I forget his 
 christian name, but his surname is North.'' 
 
 "North, North!" said the man in black, 
 whom we call the clergyman, " I should know 
 that name. Was not thef e one of that name who 
 put up for Truckleborough at the last general 
 election ? Yes, yes, I am sure there was, I 
 heard a good deal about him from my brother 
 Dr. Mufflechops, who is rector of Truckle- 
 borough."" 
 
 " Have you a relation at Truckleborough,
 
 264 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 Sir ? so have I ; my cousin Doolittle is mayor 
 there this very year." 
 
 " Indeed, what are you the celebrated Eze- 
 k el Doolittle, the Liverpool merchant?" 
 
 " The same, Sir, at your service ; and you, I 
 presume, are rector of Old Newton. Well, it is 
 singular that we should have met thus. Very 
 singular," continued the merchant, turning to 
 Mr. North, " to meet in a stage-coach an old 
 acquaintance, whom I have not seen for years : 
 and both of us to have relations at Truckle- 
 borough ; very odd, indeed, very odd." 
 
 " Very odd, indeed,*' replied Mr. North. 
 
 " Ye?, Sir," pursued the merchant, " it does 
 sometimes happen that there are singular meet- 
 ings in stage-coaches." 
 
 So thought Mr. North ; and as there had been 
 singularity enough in the recognitions already 
 made, he did not desire to increase the singu- 
 larity by any farther discoveries. 
 
 "Are you at all acquainted with Truckle-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROCGH HALL. £65 
 
 borough, Sir ?" said the merchant to the patriot. 
 Mr. North was preparing an answer, when the 
 speaker went on without waiting for it. 
 
 " I have not been there for many years. But 
 my cousin, who is a most excellent correspondent, 
 writes me all the news he can collect. He gave 
 me a very humorous account of the last election. 
 He quite enjoyed the joke of the contest. He 
 says that there is a fellow named Jackson, who 
 fleeced that poor simpleton North in fine style. 
 I wonder it never occurred tome at the moment 
 I read the account of the conspiracy, that the 
 North there mentioned could be no other than 
 the crack-brained reformer of Truckleborough, 
 and liberator of Europe^ as they call him. Ay, 
 ay, they call him a fool, but I will venture to 
 say, that they who hang him for a fool will find a 
 knave in the halter." 
 
 This last sentence being witty, and the utterer 
 thereof being a man of substance, he forthwith 
 began laughing at it, and the clergyman laughed, 
 and the three old ladies laughed, and Mr. North, 
 
 VOL. I. N
 
 266 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 laughed ; but he did not laugh so loud as the 
 others : for he was not quite at his ease. It is 
 not very pleasant to have compliments paid one 
 in one's own hearing, and not have the liberty of 
 replying to them in terms of suitable humility 
 and acknowledgment. 
 
 Very many other facetious remarks were ut- 
 tered by the merchant, and echoed by the 
 clergyman, and smiled at by the ladies, and 
 almost grinned at by Mr. North ; for he, poor 
 man, began to be rather impatient, and to wish 
 himself elsewhere, any where out of the hearing 
 of these observations, which he might not very 
 properly receive, and which might, by some ac- 
 cident, lead to a discovery- 
 Just as it was growing dusk, it occurred to 
 the merchant's memory, that he need not regret 
 the loss of the paper as concerned the person 
 of Mr. North. " For,"' said he, " my worthy 
 cousin has given me a very particular descrip- 
 tion of him in one of his late letters. I think I 
 have the letter in my pocket-book, but it is hardly
 
 TRUCKLEOBEOUGH HALL. 26? 
 
 light enough now to see to read it. I will shew 
 it you when we stop to supper." 
 
 Oh ! for a highwayman, thought Mr. North, 
 to rob this chatterbox of his pocket-book ; but 
 no highwayman came, and that was unfortu- 
 nate. The patriot's next thought was to with- 
 draw from the company, under pretence of 
 having no appetite for supper, when the coach 
 should stop, and then to make his way on foot, 
 as well as he could, across the country to some 
 village, and there to rest, till he could hear from 
 his friends in London : but there was danger 
 even in this scheme. He might be met and 
 stopped, and plundered by robbers. He re- 
 mained in doubt and indecision, and he began 
 to wish that Europe could liberate itself without 
 his assistance. 
 
 At Redburn, the coach stopped, and the pas- 
 sengers alighied, and Mr. No'rth loudly called 
 out to the coachman to see that his portmanteau 
 was safe — and the coachman said, " What 
 x 2
 
 5268 TltUCKLEBOJlOUGH HALL. 
 
 name, Sir?" And Mr. North said, " Mr. 
 West." This was said for the information of 
 his fellow-travellers, and they heard it. Still 
 the patriot rather dreaded the light of candles, 
 and the reading of Mr. Doolittle's facetious 
 letter. He, therefore, sauntered about in front 
 of the inn for several minutes, meditating an 
 actual flight ; but as there were several idle 
 people loitering about, and as he was in 
 traveller's attire, he fancied himself observed, 
 and he knew that he should be recognized by 
 the multitude as a coach passenger. He came 
 nearer to the inn door, and a smart-looking 
 waiter greeted him, and said, that the inside 
 passengers were just sitting down to supper, if 
 he would join them. He put a good face on 
 tne matter, and walked into the room. Mr. 
 Doolittle was carving a hot shoulder of mutton. 
 " Well, Sir," said the active merchant, " will 
 you take your seat with us ? we sent the waiter 
 to tell you supper was ready."
 
 TKUCKLEBOIiOUGH HALL. 269 
 
 " I thank you, Sir," said the patriot : " but 
 is it not rather early for supper ? Is not this St. 
 Albans ?" 
 
 " St. Albans, my good Sir, what are you 
 dreaming about? Why we are at Redburn, 
 and it is now just eleven minutes past nine by 
 the Horse-guards." 
 
 " Are the Horse-guards at Redburn?" said 
 Mr. North, not exactly knowing what he said, 
 nor at all aware, that the clock at the Horse- 
 guards has so extensive a reputation for ac- 
 curacy, that persons who reside as far from 
 the metropolis as Liverpool, are especially care- 
 ful to set their watches by that unerring regu- 
 lator, and would even spoil a dinner, rather than 
 acknowledge that their own watches had not 
 kept time with the Horse-guards. 
 
 Thereupon, the merchant laughed out, and 
 the clergyman joined him, and an explanation 
 was given, which made the patriot laugh at his 
 own blunder : for he began to be afraid, lest
 
 270 TRUCKLEBOItOUGH HALL. 
 
 a troop of horse had been sent to apprehend 
 him. 
 
 While he was sitting at supper, the clergy- 
 man, who was placed immediately opposite to 
 him, after looking attentively at him for a few 
 moments, said, 
 
 " Have not I had the pleasure of seeing you 
 before, Sir ?" 
 
 Mr. North now took it for granted that the 
 letter had been read while he was loitering in 
 the street, and gave himself up for lost. Assum- 
 ing, however, as much courage as he could 
 muster, he deliberately replied, " I am not 
 aware, Sir, of having had the honour of meeting 
 you before. 1 '' 
 
 " I think, Sir, your name is West ?" 
 
 " It is so," said the patriot, hating himself 
 for the lie while he uttered it, but relieved to 
 find that his fears were not realized. 
 
 " I believe you reside at Liverpool, or did 
 some few years ago ?"
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 271 
 
 " No, Sir," replied the man of patriotic sen- 
 timent, " I am quite a stranger to Liverpool. 
 My native place is London." 
 
 " Then your christian name is not Charles ?" 
 < w It is not," replied Mr. North. And then, 
 after a due allowance of M beg pardon," and ft no 
 offence," the conversation dropped. The sup- 
 per was soon ended, and the party resumed 
 their places, and continued their journey. Dur- 
 ing the night, they were silent; some in sleep, and 
 some in meditation. A new day brought a new 
 topic of conversation ; the conspiracy was 
 forgotten, and our hero was tolerably well at 
 ease. In the silence of night, he had time to 
 meditate and digest his plans for safety. For 
 though he had the spirit of a martyr, and was 
 prepared to meet all extremities to gain his ob- 
 ject of reforming the governments of Europe 
 and especially that of England, which, as being 
 his own country, and not governed by him, he 
 thought the worst governed of all : yet as he was 
 now on the scent of safety, and had begun, by
 
 272 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 friends' persuasion, to look after himself, he did 
 not feel very willing to change his scheme, and 
 he felt less willing to have it changed for him. 
 Besides all this, he had a little tincture of aris- 
 tocratic feeling about him. He did not quite 
 relish the notion of being fellow-sufferer, and 
 co-martyr with a knife-grinder, and a haber- 
 dasher's apprentice boy. He had much higher 
 notions of the dignity of martyrdom. He began 
 now to reprove himself for having stooped so 
 low, and he began also to think that he had 
 gone rather too far : and he thought again, that 
 even if a reform was obtained, it would not be 
 prudent to extend the suffrage quite to that 
 latitude for which he had once contended. 
 Then he recollected, as well as he could, the 
 miscellaneous group with which he had been 
 surrounded at the pot-house in Shoe-lane, and 
 he thought that some of them did not seem to 
 be the best qualified for legislators ; and then 
 he went on to think, that it was not desirable 
 that all should legislate, and that a country
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 273 
 
 like England wanted and required other mate- 
 rials for its composition and consistency, than 
 senators and orators. 
 
 These, and many such thoughts, passed through 
 the mind of Mr. North, as he travelled by night 
 in the Liverpool post-coach, And, now we think 
 of it, we cannot avoid informing our readers of 
 a fact, with which some of them may not be most 
 intimately acquainted, we mean the usefulness 
 of thinking now and then. We live in an age 
 in which the passion for utility is very strong. 
 S.team-engines, and rail-roads, and all the prac- 
 tical paraphernalia of civilized society, are lauded 
 into objects of the first-rate importance. We 
 are all for the visible, ^and the tangible, and the 
 edible, and the wearable, and we think production 
 the only object for which we were produced. 
 But thinking is also useful : not prating about 
 other men's fancies, but evolving the considera- 
 tions of our own minds, and endeavouring, just 
 by way of experiment, to ascertain if we know 
 the meaning of ninety -nine words in a hundred, 
 n 3
 
 274 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 I 
 
 which we use every hour, and to see if we can 
 at all define or comprehend, what we would have, 
 and what we are using all our diligence to 
 obtain.
 
 TRUCKLEBOltOUGH HALL. 275 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 How rev'rend is the face of this tall pile, 
 
 Whose ancient pillars rear their marble heads, 
 
 To bear aloft its arch'd and pond'rous roof ! 
 
 By its own weight made steadfast and immoveable. 
 
 CONGRBVB. 
 
 The Liverpool post-coach, conveyed Citizen 
 North and his fellow-travellers very safely to 
 Litchfield. No highwayman made his appear- 
 ance to frighten the ladies, or to rob the gentle- 
 men ; and Ezekiel Doolittle carried his pocket- 
 book still in his pocket, and kept the dangerous 
 letter unread, or at least uncommunicated. 
 
 As the coach drew near to the city, the vene- 
 rable cathedral caught the eye and warmed the 
 heart of the reverend divine, and he now, for the 
 first time, announced to his fellow-travellers the 
 painful intelligence, that the city of Litchfield
 
 276 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 was the limit of his journey. Mr. North felt 
 glad to get rid of one of the two dreaded ones, 
 and hoped that the subject of the conspiracy 
 might not be renewed, and that the letter would 
 rest unread in the merchant's pocket-book. But 
 fate would have it otherwise. 
 
 As soon as the clergyman announced his design 
 of leaving his good company, the promise which 
 the merchant had made, again occurred to his 
 mind. 
 
 " Well, but you shall see my cousin Abraham's 
 letter, describing the person and manners of this 
 queer democrat North. I had quite forgot it 
 when we stopped to breakfast this morning." 
 
 Thus speaking, the active merchant drew forth, 
 with much care and many important looks, his 
 dreaded pocket-book, and a very awful looking 
 book it was. It was large enough for a ledger, and 
 loaded to its utmost capacity with papers of the 
 greatest importance. Its owner looked first in 
 one division, and then in another, and he took 
 out a letter, and said — " Stay, this is not it, this
 
 THUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 277 
 
 is Sir Simon Crump's — and this is from my 
 correspondent in Barbadoes— and this — oh — 
 yes — no — yes, this is it." 
 
 He handed the letter to the reverend gentleman, 
 who forthwith began to search his pockets for 
 his spectacles, and soon found them, and began 
 to wipe them. The coach at this critical point 
 stopped at the door of the Swan inn. The party 
 alighted, and the clergyman, with the letter in his 
 hand, followed the merchant into the house. 
 Mr. North also by instinct kept with the party ; 
 but when he saw his two fellow-travellers amusing 
 themselves over this letter, he thought perhaps 
 it might not be advisable to remain in the room, 
 to give them opportunity of comparing the 
 original with the copy, for he recollected the 
 proverb that says, " Comparisons are odious." 
 Therefore he withdrew, and walked into the 
 street, as if to look about him, and see what kind 
 of a place he was passing through. He looked 
 up the street and down the street, and after 
 some little hesitation he walked towards the
 
 278 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 Cathedral, and as the doors -were open he 
 went in. He was struck with the magnificence 
 of the building, and he listened with some 
 delight to the tones of the organ. But though 
 his senses cheated him for a moment into ad- 
 miration, he soon recollected himself, and, like a 
 Westminster Reviewer, he could not help think- 
 ing that this cathedral was of no use. He en- 
 deavoured to make a calculation of the number 
 of useful and substantial dwelling-houses, or 
 cotton factories, which might have been built 
 for the same money ; and thought that Bishop 
 Hackett was very foolish to collect and expend 
 twenty thousand pounds on repairing a useless 
 fabric like this. From this speculation his mind 
 took a start, and wandered as usual over all 
 kinds of public abuses and political absurdities, 
 and he had just come to the very natural and 
 sagacious conclusion, that every thing had been 
 going wrong for the last six thousand years, 
 and that no one but himself had wisdom and 
 virtue enough to rectify the world, when the
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL 27i) 
 
 striking of a clock reminded him that time had 
 not been standing still, though Mr. North had, 
 and a suggestion was brought to his mind, that 
 the passengers had finished their dinner, and that 
 the coach was pursuing its journey. This sug- 
 gestion received strength from a sound of rat- 
 tling wheels, and the blasts of a horn, which the 
 trusty guard had indeed been blowing for some 
 time, as a hint to the strolling traveller. The 
 hint, however, was not understood, and the coach 
 was gone. 
 
 On this our hero meditated for a moment or 
 two what steps he should next take for safety. 
 He was not sorry to slip away from the trouble- 
 some Ezekiel Doolittle, and he was not best 
 pleased at being left in a place where the brother 
 of his Truckleborough rector was tabernacling : 
 especially when he considered, that this gentle- 
 man had received from his fellow-traveller a full, 
 true, and particular account of his person. He 
 determined to leave the precincts of the cathedral 
 as quickly as possible, and resolved to take
 
 280 TJRUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 
 
 up his abode at some humble public-house in 
 the city. 
 
 As he was moving away from the cathedral 
 for that purpose, he saw at a little distance a 
 large black waistcoat and a large white wig, and 
 a pair of short thick legs, and a pair of broad 
 silver shoe-buckles, and a few more items, which 
 made up the complex idea of the Rev. Dr. 
 Mufflechops, rector of Truckleborough. 
 
 Now Mr. North was by no means deficient in 
 politeness, and was not at all addicted to the silly 
 practice of cutting his acquaintance ; but on the 
 present occasion he thought it most prudent to 
 pass by the said gentleman without seeing him, 
 or to give him the cut indirect. To pass Dr. 
 Mufflechops without seeing him was too broad 
 a joke for any one but a philosopher. The 
 doctor, however, who, by virtue of his office, had 
 an especial regard for the duties of morality, 
 took care that the patriot should not have an 
 opportunity of telling such a practical falsehood. 
 
 Ever since the election at Truckleborough,
 
 TEUCKLEEOEOUGH HALL. 28] 
 
 the doctor had regarded Mr. North with less 
 abhorrence, inasmuch as he looked upon him 
 with less dread ; and in proportion as he became 
 in the sight of the rector less dangerous, he 
 was considered as any other gentleman of inde- 
 pendent fortune. His opinions, of course, the 
 clergyman reprobated, but lie had no personal 
 quarrel with him, and so he could address him, 
 especially at a distance from home, with tolera- 
 ble freedom. Seeing Mr. North, therefore, in a 
 strange place, he advanced towards him with 
 most gracious condescension, and claimed his 
 acquaintance. 
 
 " Ah ! Mr. North, I am happy to see you at 
 Litchfield. Are you -making a stay here? 
 Perhaps you will favour me with your company 
 while you stay ?" 
 
 " I thank you, doctor, but my stay is very 
 short, I am merely passing through." 
 
 " Then you have no acquaintance here, I 
 presume?" 
 
 ' 4 None, Sir, I am merely on an excursion of 

 
 282 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 pleasure, and I have been amusing myself with 
 looking at the cathedral." 
 
 " Then I must insist upon it, that you will let 
 me introduce you to my brother, whom I expect 
 from London this very day. He will be glad 
 to see a parishioner of mine. I am now going 
 to his house, and by this time the coach is come 
 in." 
 
 Mr. North knew that the coach was come in, 
 and that it was gone out, and that the brother 
 of Dr. Mufflechops had travelled by it. So 
 knowing more than the doctor knew, and more 
 than the doctor suspected, as touching his po- 
 litical pranks at the Pig's Foot and Pie-crust, he 
 thought it expedient to decline these proffered 
 civilities, which he did with the most polite ac- 
 knowledgments of the doctor's kindness, and the 
 most earnest protestations that his arrangements 
 rendered it absolutely impossible for him to 
 stay long in the city. 
 
 The doctor and the patriot parted with much 
 politeness, and many compliments. The doctor
 
 TRUCKLEEOROUGH HALL. °.83 
 
 was soon at the bouse of his brother. Many in- 
 quiries passed on both sides. But as we do not 
 wish to pry into family affairs, we shall merely 
 content ourselves with relating what was said 
 with respect to public matters. 
 
 a Well, brother, have you brought any news 
 of public interest from the city ?'' 
 
 u Brother, I cannot say that I have brought 
 any very good news ; but in the coach there was 
 a gentleman, who informed me of a most diabo- 
 lical conspiracy, which had just been detected 
 and exploded ." 
 
 " What ! a gunpowder plot, a fifth of Novem- 
 ber affair ? Oh ! what times ! what times we do 
 live in ! I hope our revered sovereign is safe?"" 
 
 " I hope so too, brother. I have no doubts of 
 it ; they have not come to extremities.'" 
 
 " But tell me all about it. Have you 
 brought a newspaper with you ? v 
 
 " No, I have not a paper. But listen, and 
 you shall hear all that I know." 
 
 " Well— I am all attention/'
 
 284 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 " When I set off from the inn yard, I had five 
 fellow travellers ; three old ladies and two gentle- 
 men. One of the gentlemen happened to be a 
 relation of a neighbour of yours, it was Mr. 
 Doolittle of Liverpool, and the other was a tall 
 middle aged man, who did not seem very com- 
 municative." 
 
 " Perhaps it was my friend and neighbour 
 Stephen North ?" 
 
 " No, his name I found was West. I took 
 him for Charles West, whom I have not seen 
 for many years.' ' 
 
 " I thought it might have been North, whom 
 I just met as I was coming into the close : and 
 I took the liberty of giving him an invitation to 
 call: 1 
 
 "Brother, brother, what are you talking 
 about ? Did you actually see Stephen Bardolph 
 North in the close here in Litchfield this very 
 day?" 
 
 " Ay, brother, that I did, this very day, and 
 this very hour. v
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 285 
 
 " Then brother you saw a traitor and a rebel. 
 I wish you had detained him.' 1 
 
 " Why, how now ! Is he in riiis conspiracy 
 of which vou are going to tell me r* 1 
 
 " Yes, that he is ; the very ring-leader and 
 head of it. There's a reward of two hundred 
 pounds offered for his apprehension : and I 
 strongly suspect that he was the very man who 
 travelled with us under the assumed name of 
 "West. I observed something very singular 
 about him. He was very reserved ; and now 
 I recollect, that when Mr. Doolittle lent him the 
 paper to read out the account of the conspiracy, 
 he contrived to let it fall out of the coach-window, 
 just before he came 'to that part which de- 
 scribed the person of the chief conspirator. I 
 have no doubt he is the very man.''' 
 
 Thereupon the two reverend brothers went on 
 comparing notes, and they came to the same 
 conclusion, and, as in duty bound, they proceeded 
 to inform the two bailiffs, and the leading men 
 of the city, that an advertised rebel was har-
 
 286 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 boured somewhere in Litchfield, Active search 
 commenced immediately. Enquiry was made 
 at the posting houses, and injunctions left with 
 the masters of them to give notice to the magis- 
 trates, if any suspicious person should attempt 
 to hire post-horses ; and very alert were the 
 post-masters, when they heard of the great 
 reward which was attached to the capture of the 
 arch-rebel. 
 
 All this Mr. North very prudently foresaw, 
 and much of it he guarded against as well as he 
 could. He took especial care not to present 
 himself again at the Swan inn, where the coach 
 had stopped, and he was equally careful not to 
 make application at any other of the principal 
 inns. But he walked out of the city, and by 
 the w r armth of walking, and by means of the 
 dust of the road he soon looked very much like 
 a pedestrian of humble rank. He then stepped 
 into the first public-house he came to, which was 
 about four miles from Litchfield. Here he sat 
 down, and with such materials as the house
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 287 
 
 afforded he wrote to his friend Charles Slender, 
 informing him of the events of the journey, and 
 of its unfortunate interruption. When he had 
 finished his letter, his next difficulty was to get 
 it into the post-office. He found that there was 
 no office for the reception of letters nearer than 
 Litchfield, and as it was now growing dusk, he 
 ventured to return there to put the letter in for 
 himself, not caring to trust it to a messenger. 
 Slowly and wearily he retraced his steps, and he 
 found himself again in the place from whence 
 he had started. 
 
 Enquiring for the post-office, he was grieved to 
 find that there was no possibility that his letter 
 could reach London On the following day, as 
 the mail had left the place several hours ago. 
 He determined, however, to put his letter into 
 the office, and conceal himself till he should 
 have an answer. Poor man he was born to be 
 unfortunate ! It so happened that the person 
 of whom he inquired for the post-office, was one 
 of those subalterns, by whom the corporation
 
 288 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 and magistrates of Litchfield convey their 
 mandates to the citizens, and he had been sent 
 with an especial message to the principal inns, 
 touching the supply of post-horses to suspicious 
 persons. By the singularity of Mr. North's 
 appearance, and by his palpable error in imagin- 
 ing that the post was not closed for the day ; 
 this public officer began to conjecture, that he 
 had been actually talking to the great traitor on 
 whose apprehension so much depended. Not 
 liking to divide the reward, and yet fearing 
 that his own individual power might not be suf- 
 ficient for the seizure, he communicated his 
 suspicion to a brother officer, whose dwelling was 
 hard by, and the two followed the forlorn 
 patriot at a little distance. They watched him 
 as he deposited his letter, and then followed him 
 to a small public-house, where he made inquiry 
 if he could have a bed for the night. By the 
 light in the house the two officers examined 
 their destined victim, and saw enough to lead 
 them to conjecture that they had the prize in
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 289 
 
 their own power. Before the regenerator of 
 Europe was aware that he was watched, he was 
 seized by the men of authority, and found 
 himself a prisoner in a strange land. 
 
 TOL. I:
 
 290 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 Neat, trimly dress'd, 
 
 Fresh as a bridegroom, and Lis chin, new-reap'd, 
 Show'd like a stubble-land at harvest home. 
 He was perfumed like a milliner. 
 
 Shaksfears. 
 
 It becomes now a matter of imperious duty, 
 to turn our attention awhile to the patriot's 
 daughter. We shall, with great confidence in 
 the Litchfield magistrates, leave Mr. North 
 in their keeping, and trust that they will bring 
 him safely to London, by the time that we 
 need his presence there. 
 
 When Emma North was first removed from 
 her father's house to the mansion of Lord 
 Slender, it was not without some painful emo- 
 tions, on her part, to think that her natural 
 protector, and only friend, should be exposed
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. SQL 
 
 to danger of any kind, and should also be liable 
 to arrest. But so dextrous was the manage- 
 ment of Louisa Slender, that poor Emma was 
 persuaded, that there was no real danger ; and 
 the only feeling in her mind was mortification, 
 that her dear father should so indiscreetly 
 expose himself to ridicule. The power which 
 Louisa exercised over the mind of her young- 
 friend was of a mixed nature. There was 
 clearly a superiority in natural strength of mind, 
 there was a difference in age, and there was most 
 of all a difference in acquaintance with the 
 world. When Emma yielded to Louisa, it 
 was not the surrender, but the conviction of 
 judgment. Emma was gentle, but not weak, 
 more of a novice than an ignoramus. She had 
 been brought up, for the most part, in the coun- 
 try ; but trees and green fields are no more the 
 necessary conductors of ignorance, than brick- 
 walls and stone pavement are the communi- 
 cators of wit. The disadvantages, therefore, 
 under which Miss North was placed were 
 o c >
 
 292 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 purely accidental. There was a want of confi- 
 dence in herself, a questioning tone of voice 
 in expressing an opinion, as if she always made 
 her account with contradiction ; but there was 
 withal, to those who had observation enough to 
 discern it, a vein of good sense, and sound dis- 
 crimination, running through her mind. It was 
 only with very ignorant coxcombs that Miss 
 North passed for a simpleton. By one of these 
 she was most grievously persecuted, almost 
 immediately on her arrival at Lord Slenders. 
 
 Sir Pertinax Pennyfarthing, was a baronet 
 of very large property, and very limited under- 
 standing ; but his lack of wit was more than 
 compensated, by a most perfect self-assurance, 
 and by a thorough conviction of his own excel- 
 lence in every thing in which he desired to 
 excel ; and there were very few human pursuits, 
 in which he had not at some time or other 
 engaged himself. He had some knowledge of 
 modern languages, a little recollection of the 
 Greek and Latin, which he had learned at
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 293 
 
 school ; he had paid some attention to natural 
 history, was something of a chemist, very 
 partial to botany, skilful as a florist ; could play 
 a little on the piano-forte, a little on the flute, 
 a little on the violin, a little on the guitar ; could 
 sing a few songs, understood flower painting, 
 and was reckoned by some persons a connois- 
 seur in oil paintings ; in fashion he was almost a 
 dictator, and though he was six feet in height, his 
 waistcoat was very little more than six inches 
 long : in politics he was profound and oracular ; 
 the opinion which he gave of the French Revo- 
 lution has remained uncontradicted to the 
 present day, and unless some very unexpected 
 discovery should be made, that opinion will 
 always remain unshaken. His opinion was as 
 follows. 
 
 Being one day, in the year 1794, dining at 
 the table of a celebrated statesman, whose poli- 
 tics were of the opposition cast, and the conver- 
 sation turning on the revolution, and its conse- 
 quences, many voices were speaking almost
 
 294 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 at once, and after several efforts to gain a 
 hearing, Sir Pertinax succeeded in fixing the 
 attention of the company, and then directing 
 his discourse principally to the statesman, said, 
 " Sir, if I am asked my opinion of the French 
 Revolution, I can only say, that I have most 
 completely analyzed it, and I can and will say 
 most positively, that it was beyond doubt a 
 great national movement ; but there is decidedly 
 something wrong in it, and as to the conse- 
 quences of it, time, Sir, time will shew them." To 
 this profound observation, the statesman nodded 
 assent, and said, " Certainly, Sir Pertinax, you 
 are clearly right; you have come to the point at 
 once; you understand something." To this 
 compliment, Sir Pertinax bowed, and from this 
 moment he felt himself born to be a legislator ; 
 and, had craniology or skullcraft been the 
 fashion in those days, the baronet's head would 
 have exhibited the organ of legislativeness 
 strongly developed. 
 
 At the time of which we are writing, the
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 295 
 
 baronet was about forty years old, a bachelor, not 
 from any abhorrence of the chains of matri- 
 mony, but because he could not discern who 
 amongst the deserving was most deserving of 
 the honor of becoming Lady Pennyfarthing. 
 For a year or two past, he had been persecuting 
 Louisa Slender with his most polite attentions, 
 but had not been, during that time, sufficiently 
 explicit to give her an opportunity of ridding 
 herself of his attentions. There was, in fact, 
 a misunderstanding between them : for the lady 
 was most anxious to get rid of his persecutions, 
 and the gentleman thought that the lady was 
 in trembling expectation of being gratified with 
 the intelligence, that she, of all women, was 
 the only person worthy of becoming the com- 
 panion for life of so distinguished a statesman, 
 scholar, gentleman, and philosopher, as Sir 
 Pertinax Pennyfarthing. 
 
 This worthy baronet made his appearance at 
 Lord Slender's, the day after Miss North had 
 taken up her abode there ; and while the father
 
 296 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 was undergoing the torture of meeting Dr. 
 Mufflechops in the close at Litchfield, the 
 daughter was annoyed by the fooleries of Sir 
 Pertinax Pennyfarthing. 
 
 When the baronet called, Louisa and Emma 
 were sitting together in the drawing-room, 
 amusing themselves with setting in order divers 
 fragments of printed music. With an impatience 
 of manner, which must have been evident to 
 any but a decided coxcomb, Louisa received 
 the baronet, and, as in duty bound, introduced 
 him to Miss North. 
 
 " Meece North," said the baronet, "I am 
 most heppy to see you. You are delightfully 
 employed ladees, arranging music. Will my 
 assistance be acceptable ?" 
 
 " Thank you, Sir Pertinax," replied Louisa, 
 " we have nearly finished our task." 
 
 " Music is a most delightful science," pur- 
 sued the visitor ; " I formerly gave some little 
 attention to it. Pray may I make bold to ask 
 if you have any thing new ?*
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 29? 
 
 " No, Sir Pertinax," answered Louisa ; "we 
 are only separating some of Handel's from some 
 of Hook's." 
 
 u Indeed ? I think Handel is a favourite com- 
 poser with you, Louisa. Pray, Meece North, 
 whom do you prefer, Handel or Hook ?" 
 
 Emma was about to reply, but the baronet, 
 who thought his own voice the sweetest music 
 that ever was heard, replied for her. 
 
 " Handel is, in my opinion, far before Hook 
 as a composer of sacred music ." 
 
 That was exactly Miss North's opinion. 
 Now sometimes we are disposed to give a man 
 credit for good judgment, because he thinks as 
 ^ve do; but, in this case, Miss North began to 
 think her new acquaintance no conjuror. The 
 young ladies pursued their employment, and 
 Sir Pertinax amused himself with gazing, more 
 earnestly than politely, on the lovely coun- 
 tenance of Emma North, and as she was really 
 a pretty looking girl, the baronet, who, among 
 other accomplishments, prided himself on being 
 o 3
 
 298 TRUCKLEBOliOUGH HALL. 
 
 a judge of female beauty, began to attempt in 
 his way to make himself agreeable. 
 
 " Pray, Meece North, what is your opinion of 
 the origin of music ; do you think it was invented 
 by the Romans or by the Egyptians ?' ' 
 
 66 1 have never given the subject a thought," 
 said the patriot's daughter ; " but it does not 
 strike me, that it would be easy to ascertain, or 
 worth the trouble if ascertained.' ' 
 
 " It is certainly a very profound inquiry ; 
 but, it is always my plan to gain knowledge on 
 every point. ' Music has charms'* — said our 
 immortal Shakspeare. You read Shakspeare, 
 I presume ? A most astonishing bard — a divine 
 poet — a philosopher !" 
 
 " Yes, I have read Shakspeare with great 
 interest." 
 
 " Don't you think him very superior to 
 Sophocles? Indeed, I cannot conceive of a 
 finer writer for the stage. Very strange though, 
 the other day I met with a queer genius, who 
 said, that he did not consider Shakspeare's
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. £99 
 
 plays capable of representation on the stage. 
 Very odd, indeed very odd." 
 
 " Very strange, indeed, Sir Pertinax ; we live 
 altogether in a strange world," replied Louisa 
 Slender. 
 
 " A strange world V echoed Sir Pertinax. 
 " What think you of the horrible conspiracy 
 which has just been detected ? There is com- 
 paratively little said about it in the papers ; for 
 ministers almost dread to let the public know 
 the full extent of it. I have heard from very 
 high authority, that ramifications of this plot 
 reach all over the kingdom, more or less. I 
 wish ministers would take my advice/ ' 
 
 "I am afraid ministers have more advice 
 offered to them, than they can possibly take," 
 said Louisa ; " but what is the advice which you 
 have given, or offered ?" 
 
 " Oh, I have not made any express tender of 
 my advice ; but, my views of political matters 
 are not unknown to them ; and I have had the 
 testimony of one of the leading men in the
 
 300 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 the opposition, that my sentiments on political 
 affairs are unusually correct." 
 
 " But you are not of opposition politics your- 
 self, Sir Pertinax ?" 
 
 " No, Meddem, by no means ; and there is the 
 great strength of the compliment, that I could 
 extort such an acknowledgment from an oppo- 
 sition leader. The ministers themselves could 
 not do that. Now, if my opponents acknow- 
 ledge that I am right, I think it rather singu- 
 lar and somewhat perverse, that those with 
 whom I generally coincide will not suffer them- 
 selves to be guided by my advice. The fact 
 is, that, though I am not in opposition, I am 
 not therefore with ministers on every subject — 
 I am perfectly independent : I do not assume to 
 lead, and I do not deign to follow,— I am in fact 
 a party by myself.' 1 
 
 The baronet was manifestly delighted with 
 his own encomium on his own independence 
 and singularity. Louisa was not displeased that 
 the mention of the plot had only led to a still
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUeH HALL. 301 
 
 further display of the poor man's egotism ; for 
 she very much dreaded, that it would call forth 
 some observations not altogether agreeable to 
 Emma. Under this impression, she endea- 
 voured to lead him on to some other mode of 
 displaying his vanity, very well assured that 
 if he could but make himself his subject, it was 
 a matter of little concern to him what was the 
 topic of conversation. 
 
 4i Well, but Sir Pertinax, do not entertain 
 us with politics, for they are rather out of the 
 province of the weaker sex. Have you no 
 scandal to amuse us with ? Or can you not com- 
 municate any thing new connected with the 
 fine arts P 
 
 Sir Pertinax smiled, and looked very know- 
 ing. " I think,' 1 said he, w that I have some- 
 thing new to communicate connected with the 
 fine arts. A certain person, who shall be name- 
 less, has recently occupied a chair in the paint- 
 ing room of a distinguished delineator of the 
 ' human form divine,' as Shakspeare says.
 
 302 TEUCKLEBOllOUGH HALL. 
 
 When the picture is sent home, I shall be most 
 happy to have your opinion of the skill and 
 accuracy of the artist." 
 
 " Such a picture,' ' replied Louisa, " will be 
 an exhibition of itself. It will be a gratifying 
 sight, indeed, if the artist has done justice to 
 the original." 
 
 Sir Pertinax was most highly gratified with 
 the compliment ; but being, as he always said, a 
 man of very great delicacy of feeling, he thought 
 that the lady was rather too forward in ex- 
 pressing her admiration of his personal charms. 
 He then was induced to think that he had mis- 
 apprehended and over-rated the mental qualities 
 of Louisa Slender, and he also thought that 
 what he had frequently taken for wit and viva- 
 city, was mere flippancy and forward pertness ; 
 and as he considered himself the best match in 
 the whole circle of the Slenders' acquaintance, 
 he was now about to put himself more on his 
 guard, and not to make himself too cheap. In 
 these reflections he was much assisted by the
 
 TRUCXLEBOROUGH HALL. 303 
 
 pretty face of Emma North, and he thought 
 that he could discern in her features an expres- 
 sion of all those sentiments and mental qualities, 
 which could make a woman amiable in the eyes 
 of Sir Pertinax Pennyfarthing. 
 
 But with all this severity of judgment against 
 Louisa, still Sir Pertinax was a man of huma- 
 nity and feeling, and he was sorry for the bitter 
 grief which the deserted damsel would feel, 
 should he be induced to transfer his most desired 
 and estimable attentions to Miss North. He 
 was certainly smitten with Emma, as he had 
 been, four or five hundred times before, with 
 other pretty faces ; but each successive capture 
 seemed to the love-stricken baronet more ra- 
 tional and more just than its predecessor. He 
 thought that in Miss North, his physiognomical 
 penetration had discovered a combination of all 
 the excellencies of his former loves, and the 
 absence of all their faults and imperfections. 
 What a pity it was, that, for the sake of Sir 
 Pertinax, skullcraft was not then invented, or
 
 304 TItUCKLEliOROUGH HALL. 
 
 rather, more properly speaking, had not been 
 then revived : for the science is one which would 
 have suited his capacity to perfection, and very 
 probably he would have sacrificed all his other 
 perfections, and literary and scientific attain- 
 ments, for this alone, and then he could have 
 justified his choice or rejection by a mathematical 
 diagram. 
 
 The hostile and severe feelings towards Louisa, 
 which were excited by her last remark, produced 
 a manifest change in the baronet's countenance 
 and manner. He looked rather cold and mag- 
 nificent towards her, and turned the more gracious 
 looks and expressions towards Emma North. 
 Now Louisa observed this, and as she was very 
 unwilling to hurt the feelings, or, to use another 
 phrase for the same idea, to mortify the vanity 
 of any one ; and as she naturally thought that 
 Sir Pertinax saw through the quizzing style of 
 her reply, and felt himself ridiculed, she, 
 with all goodness of intention, endeavoured, by 
 civil expressions, and more than usual kindness
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 305 
 
 of manner, to make up for her transgression, 
 and to put the baronet in good humour with her 
 and himself. All these attentions, and all this 
 civility, produced, however, quite an opposite 
 effect from that which was intended ; for he then 
 thoughtthat hisfirst suspicions were corroborated, 
 and that Louisa was absolutely making advances, 
 not by any means consistent with the dignity of 
 female reserve. And as at the same time Miss 
 North, perceiving that Louisa was entertain- 
 ing her visitor, was glad to be relieved from 
 the necessity of conversing with the prig, 
 he contrasted the forwardness of one with the 
 beautiful and delicate reserve of the other, and 
 every moment his liking<for the one abated, and 
 his love for the other increased. So, before his 
 visit was concluded, he was quite in love with 
 Emma North, and determined to ascertain who 
 and what she was, and then to make her Lady 
 Pennyfarthing, to the great discomfiture and 
 mortification of Louisa Slender, and two or 
 three dozen more young ladies.
 
 306 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 Having made this resolution, he was preparing 
 to take his leave, when Louisa asked his per- 
 mission to introduce her young friend, Miss 
 North, to see the baronet's gallery of paintings. 
 Permission was most graciously granted, and 
 the transferred lover took his departure. 
 
 When he was gone, Louisa immediately said 
 to Emma: "Well, my dear, I congratulate you 
 on your conquest. You have certainly captivated 
 the learned and fashionable baronet : I shall lose 
 my gay and gallant admirer." 
 
 " My dear friend," replied Emma, " I hope 
 not ; for I am sure I should not be able to keep 
 my countenance so gravely as you do, if he were 
 to assail me with his flippancy and fooleries. 
 But how can you manage to talk seriously to 
 him. He is quite a fool." 
 
 " Hush, hush, my dear, don't betray your 
 rustic education so much as to call any man a 
 fool, who has a large fortune, and a seat in 
 parliament.*" 
 
 " I beg pardon ; it was rather a coarse ex-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 307 
 
 pression to be sure, but I have not been much 
 accustomed to the ways of the world, and I am 
 sometimes in danger of expressing my feelings 
 and opinions in language rather too strong.'"
 
 308 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 For what has Virro painted, built, and planted ? 
 Only to shew how many tastes he wanted. 
 
 Pope. 
 
 On the following morning, Louisa resolved to 
 take Emma North to see the baronet's gallery 
 of paintings, and requested her brother Charles 
 to escort them. The request was most readily 
 complied with, for Charles Slender was a kind 
 hearted and affectionate brother, and was in the 
 habit of indulging his sister in every thing that 
 could contribute to her comfort and amusement. 
 He was quite a pattern for brothers. 
 
 Now that the two ladies are dressing for a 
 morning excursion, perhaps it may not be out 
 of the way for us to look a little more atten-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 309 
 
 tively at Charles Slender > M. P. for Truckle- 
 borough. We have given him a good word or two 
 before in the earlier part of our history : but we 
 wish our readers to be a little better acquainted 
 with him ; for he is rather reserved at first sight, 
 and it requires some time to understand him 
 thoroughly ; and that, not because there is any 
 mystery or obscureness about him, but quite the 
 reverse. In his person there is nothing remark- 
 able ; of the middle size, or rather exceeding it, 
 so that some persons might call him rather tall ; of 
 complexion not dark nor very fair ; but the most 
 obvious expression of his countenance strikingly 
 displays openness and single heartedness ; he 
 looks as if he had never thought, said, or done 
 any thing to be ashamed of; he seems to have 
 sufficient thought to give to his looks an expres- 
 sion of intellect, and not enough to make him 
 appear studious, or profoundly meditative. He 
 cannot by any means be designated as a charac- 
 ter, though very far from being a common-place 
 kind of a man, not pretending to any high degree
 
 310 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 of political, literary, or scientific sagacity ; not 
 a man of bustling and forward ambition. If he 
 had not been born to the peerage, he would 
 never have aspired to it ; but being in that rank 
 he will uphold the dignity and steady propriety 
 that becomes it ; having a will of his own, but 
 by no means obstinate or uncomplying ; having 
 a due respect for himself, and not wanting a con- 
 sideration for others. His demeanour uni- 
 formly courteous, but not having any thing of 
 the sycophant about him ; having a good natural 
 understanding, but not distinguished by any 
 remarkable or extraordinary powers of mind. 
 In his conduct, uniform propriety, and in his 
 mind and feelings, a tone of general healthiness. 
 A character of this kind is more easily imagined 
 than expressed. 
 
 The party found Sir Pertinax at home, and 
 were most graciously received. The baronet 
 was engaged in his gallery, endeavouring to find 
 room for a Vandyke, which he had just pur- 
 chased, and also contriving to make such an
 
 TRUCKLEBOKOUGH H^LL. 311 
 
 arrangement as should admit to a conspicuous part 
 of the gallery the forthcoming production of the 
 living artist ; for the delineator of the person of 
 Sir Pertinax Pennyfarthing was the only living 
 artist, whose production could find its way into 
 the baronet's collection. His passion for the old 
 masters was so strong that he has often said, when 
 portrait painting was the subject of conversation, 
 that he wished Michael Angelo or Vandyke 
 could rise from the grave to paint his portrait. 
 These were his favourite artists : the first because 
 every connoisseur admires him, and the last be- 
 cause his pictures are so fine. 
 
 While his visitors were looking at his pictures, 
 the baronet ; addressing Charles Slender, informed 
 him that he was about to make an innovation in 
 his gallery, and introduce, for the first time, the 
 work of a living artist. Charles, who had heard 
 from his sister of the portrait that was in hand, 
 replied, " I presume that the subject is living 
 too."
 
 312 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 ** You are right, Sir. Now I have had some 
 difficulty in contriving this matter. You observe 
 that there is at present nothing modern in the 
 room." 
 
 " Except the present company , v replied 
 Charles. 
 
 " Exactly so," responded the baronet ; " you 
 are f quite facetious. Well, now, as there is 
 nothing modern in the room, except as before 
 excepted, it struck me that it would not har- 
 monize with the rest of the paintings, if I 
 should fix up a modern portrait by a modern 
 artist, the colours all fresh and the costume 
 modern."' 
 
 " Would it not have some pleasing effect by 
 way of contrast ?" 
 
 " Perhaps it might : that thought never struck 
 me, and yet I considered the subject almost in 
 every possible attitude and bearing; for I 
 thought it very odd that the owner should be 
 excluded from his own treasures. However,
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 313 
 
 Sir, I at last resolved. to be painted, not in 
 modern costume, or in propria persona, as it were, 
 but in classic costume.'" 
 
 u What in the Roman toga, as a senator?' 1 
 
 " Not exactly so, but as Marius sitting 
 amidst the ruins of Carthage.' 1 
 
 The baronet looked at Charles for a compli- 
 ment on his taste, and Charles looked at the 
 baronet, to see what connection there could be 
 between the actual countenance of Six Pertinax 
 Pennyfarthing, and the probable look of Marius 
 amidst the ruins of Carthage. 
 
 u I had been thinking," pursued the baronet, 
 <; of some scripture scene, such, for instance, as 
 Daniel in the lions' den, or Joshua blowing the 
 trumpet at the walls of Jericho ; but I thought 
 it might perhaps be considered profane." 
 
 "I am quite cf opinion,'' said Charles, "that 
 the choice -which you have made is the best of 
 those you have mentioned." 
 
 "lam very happy that it meets your appro- 
 bation. I consider you something of a judge in 
 
 vol. i. p
 
 014 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 these matters, though I believe you have not 
 given so much of your attention to the fine arts 
 as I have. It is a pity you do not give more 
 attention to them. 1 ' 
 
 Sir Pertinax, having honoured Charles with a 
 compliment, now directed himself more de- 
 cidedly to the young lady who had supplanted 
 Louisa in his affections, expressing a hope that 
 the apartment might contain some treasures 
 which might gratify Miss North's taste. 
 
 Miss North expressed herself highly delighted 
 with the specimens of ancient art, which the 
 baronet's judgment had selected ; and, recollect- 
 ing the hasty and uncourteous manner in which 
 she had spoken of him the preceding day, now 
 took pains to be as courteous as possible. The 
 heart of the baronet was melted and won. He 
 had never seen so much beauty joined with so 
 much judgment. He grew quite animated, and 
 in order at once to commence and complete his 
 conquest, he forthwith poured forth, with un- 
 merciful fluency, the whole stock of his know-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 315 
 
 ledge, and his taste, and his science. Miss 
 North bore it all with the utmost resignation, 
 which Sir Pertinax construed into admiration ; 
 and though she said but little, the baronet 
 thought her the most lively, and eloquent, and 
 graceful talker he had ever met with. But the 
 question was not yet answered, " Who is she ?" 
 And it was not very easy to ask that question, 
 either of Louisa Slender, or her brother. He 
 resolved, however, to wait with patience till a 
 proper opportunity offered. 
 
 Nor was it long before the wished-for informa- 
 tion was communicated : for the Slender partv 
 had not left Sir Pertinax more than half an 
 hour, when he received a call from one of his 
 fashionable compeers : a man not equal to him- 
 self in every point of view, but merely one 
 with whom he sympathized as a fashionist. 
 Such was the universality of the genius of Sir 
 Pertinax, that he had associates of various 
 descriptions. His profound views of policy 
 r 2
 
 316 TKUCXLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 connected him with political characters, his ele- 
 gance with men of fashion, his science with men 
 of science, and his love of the arts gave him in- 
 terest among artists. The visitor which was 
 now announced, was one of the baronet's fashion- 
 able friends ; in many respects a most useful 
 man ; a kind of general conductor, a solicitor 
 and conveyancer of gossip ; who knew every 
 thing about every body, that every body wished 
 to be unknown : a kind of supplement to the 
 herald's college, recollecting ancestors and family 
 ramifications which were not recorded there. 
 He had studied human nature, not by books, 
 but by observation, and he was perfect in his 
 line, for he studied nothing else. Whatever were 
 his faults, reserve was not one of them : he was 
 by no means selfish in his pursuit of knowledge ; 
 his information w r as not locked up coldly in his 
 own breast; it was readily and gratuitously 
 communicated to all who were willing to receive 
 it. Octavius Leaky, for that was the gentle*
 
 TEUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 317 
 
 man's name, was just at this convenient moment 
 announced. The baronet was delighted to see 
 him. 
 
 u Leaky, my good fellow, I am most happy 
 to see you : I was this moment wishing for you. 
 You know the Slender family, I believe ?* 
 
 " Oh, yes, very well indeed : which of them do 
 you mean ? What, the Lord Slender that 
 bought Truckleborough last spring ?" 
 
 " The same. Charles and his sister were here 
 a little while ago, looking over my paintings, 
 and they brought with them a pretty-looking 
 girl, whose face I have never seen before. She 
 is called Miss North. Do you know any thing 
 of her family ?" 
 
 " Family, can't say much about family — she 
 has a father, and had a mother, I suppose. Her 
 grandfather was a scrivener, some where in those 
 dirty alleys on the east side of Temple-bar, in 
 that part of the suburbs which they call the city. 1 ' 
 
 " But who and what is her father? Where 
 does he come from ?"
 
 318 TRUCKLEB0KOUGH HALL. 
 
 " I can't say exactly where he comes from, 
 but I can tell you where he is going : — videlicet, 
 to a dirty place on the east side of Temple-bar, 
 called Newgate." 
 
 " Her father going to Newgate ! For what, 
 in the name of common sense ?" 
 
 " For sedition, privy conspiracy, and rebel- 
 lion. Why, man, her father is a rank democrat, 
 a most hot-headed jacobin. He was going the 
 other day to organize a committee of public 
 safety in a pot-house, on the east side of Tem- 
 ple-bar ; but he was soon glad to resolve himself 
 into a committee of private safety, and pop out 
 of the window, and be off; he was nabbed at 
 last at Litchfield, and is now paying his re- 
 spects to his majesty's most honourable privy 
 council, and the patriot stands a good chance of 
 being expatriated.'" 
 
 " Then, this is the very man that was adver- 
 tised in the public papers a few days ago F% 
 
 "To be sure. Did not you know that ? 
 Why, you know nothing ; you affect to be a
 
 TRUCKLEBOItOUGH HALL. 319 
 
 politician, and to have such a deep insight into 
 public affairs ; and yet you hardly know what 
 passes in the cabinet, till you read of it two years 
 after in the Annual Register." 
 
 " I regard principles, and take a comprehen- 
 sive view of affairs, and do not much meddle 
 with details. Indeed, I don't think myself 
 well used by those whom I support. I have 
 received greater compliments from the opposi- 
 tion, than ever I did from ministers." 
 
 " Yes, yes, I know, I remember that story — 
 very flattering to be sure. I hope you told it 
 to Miss North, and her father.* ' 
 
 " Her father I have not yet seen ; and if he 
 is such a democrat, I tiope I never shall see him. 
 I have the greatest horror imaginable of demo- 
 crats — I cannot bear them. I should almost 
 faint at the sight of one. But are you sure 
 that what you are telling me is all true ? May 
 you not have been misinformed ? Reports, you 
 know, do sometimes get abroad, nobody knows
 
 320 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 how. I can hardly think Miss North to be 
 the daughter of a democrat ; for democrats are 
 all such coarse, vulgar, brutal, ignorant people, 
 and Miss North is really a most accomplished 
 young woman, a person of universal know- 
 ledge." 
 
 " All that may be very true ; but what I tell 
 you is also true ; and if you have any doubts, 
 go and ask Charles Slender, he is more inti- 
 mate with Miss North and her father than I 
 am. 
 
 Now, on this information, the mind of Sir 
 Pertinax, or that indescribable something which 
 supplies the place of mind in such persons, was 
 set to work most teasingly and perplexedly. He 
 could not entertain the slightest doubt of the 
 beauty or wisdom of Miss North ; and was also 
 as little in doubt with respect to the political 
 transgression of Mr. North. He hoped, how- 
 ever, that Mr. North might not be a decided, ir- 
 reclaimable jacobin ; and when, in answer to
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 321 
 
 further interrogatories, Mr. Leaky informed 
 him, that the patriot had an estate of no mean ex- 
 tent in Yorkshire, and that he had property t also 
 in the funds, he thought it absolutely impossi- 
 ble that lie should be a malignant and deter- 
 mined democrat, and trusted that he was only 
 rather too much of a whig, and somewhat too 
 strong in expressing opposition sentiments ; and 
 as Sir Pertinax had received a compliment from 
 a member and a leader of the opposition, he did 
 not consider them as altogether incorrigible or 
 impenetrable. Having, however, resolved to fall 
 in love with Miss North, he was not inclined to 
 relinquish that intention, merely on the report of 
 such a tattler as Octavius Leaky. He, therefore, 
 made up his mind, that he would not yet make 
 up his mind. 
 
 While the above scene was passing at the 
 
 house of Sir Pertinax Penny farthing, another, 
 
 quite as perplexing, was taking place at the 
 
 house of Lord Slender. Soon after the party 
 
 p3
 
 322 TRUCKLEBOROCGH HALL. 
 
 had returned from viewing the baronet's gallery? 
 a servant announced, that there was a man, who 
 insisted on speaking to Miss North, and who 
 w r ould not deliver his message to any one but 
 to herself. He said, that he had come from 
 Truckleborough, and had also mentioned his 
 name, but the servant said it was so hard a 
 name, that he had forgotten it. 
 
 At Lord Slender' s it was not the order of the 
 day to be inattentive to any person coming from 
 or connected with Truckleborough ; so the 
 servant was ordered to shew the man into the 
 library, and Miss North presently went down 
 to speak to him. 
 
 As soon as the door was opened, the young 
 lady recognised her father's old acquaintance, 
 Francis Lathergills ; and was about to address 
 him with the accustomed inquiries, when the 
 poor fellow, bursting into tears, exclaimed in a 
 most pathetic tone, " Oh, my dear lady, we are 
 all ruined and undone for ever ; your dear
 
 TRCCKLEBOROTTGH HALL. 323 
 
 father is taken, and all the officers are after me 
 too ; and oh me ! there is no knowing what will 
 be the end of it." 
 
 Emma turned pale, and was about to speak, 
 when fortunately Charles Slender, who was not 
 farther off than in the dining-room adjoining, 
 hearing the loud and lamentable exclamation of 
 the patriot Lathergills, without ceremony en- 
 tered the library ? and was just in time to save 
 Miss North from fainting. His sudden en- 
 trance recalled her spirits, and she was able to 
 explain the purport of the hair-dresser's visit : 
 for the poor man himself w T as in too great terror 
 to make out a consistent story. Charles Slender 
 inquired of the man as to the source of his infor- 
 mation, and he soon found that it came from good 
 authority, namely, from a servant who had ac- 
 companied Dr. Mufflechops from Litchfield to 
 London, by the very same conveyance which 
 brought up Mr. North himself. Emma, at the 
 request of Charles, now rejoined his sister, and
 
 324- TItUCKLEBOliOUGH HALL. 
 
 ieft the hair-dresser to the good counsel and 
 protection, which the representative of Truckle- 
 borough might be able and willing to afford 
 him.
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 325 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 He who contends for freedom, 
 
 Can ne'er be justly deemed his sovereign's foe. 
 
 Thomson. 
 
 When Emma had communicated to her kind 
 friend the unpleasant intelligence she had so 
 abruptly received from Lathergills, the latter 
 used all the ingenuity of which she was mis- 
 tress, to persuade the patriot's daughter that 
 her father was not in any real danger. But it was 
 no very pleasant consideration, that her father's 
 name had been made public, and that a degree 
 of disgrace seemed to be connected with it : for 
 her mind was not strong, or rather not steady 
 and composed enough to distinguish between a 
 moral and political offence. Indeed, the very
 
 826 TRCCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 action which her father might be under the 
 painful necessity of defending at a criminal 
 tribunal, could, under other circumstances, and 
 with a different result, bear the name, and carry 
 away the applause of high and distinguished 
 patriotism. Mr. North, had, however, sadly 
 neglected his daughter's political education. 
 His own home, and his immediate dependents 
 and connections, were not the centre and com- 
 mencement of his political exertions. He did 
 not act as Mahomet did, who first converted his 
 own family, and thence formed a nation to his 
 creed. 
 
 Mr. North was fond of his daughter and 
 proud of her, but he never shewed his fondness 
 for her by disciplining her mind according to his 
 own model of political perfection, and what 
 little she had heard by accident of political 
 matters, had given to her mind not a favourable 
 moral bias towards that party to which her 
 father belonged. She was, however, well satis- 
 fied, that her father's moral principles were
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 32Y 
 
 good, and she could not regard him as a trans- 
 gressor of any moral duty ; but she could feel, 
 and that most painfully, that in this light he 
 would be considered by the world. So a de- 
 pression of spirits crept upon her, and an un- 
 defined feeling of mortification and humiliation 
 overcame her. The consolatory and cheerful 
 language of Louisa, she answered with sobbings 
 and with tears, and she felt herself as a depend- 
 ent, and as one that must be deserted. 
 
 The intelligence of the capture and commit- 
 ment of Stephen Bardolph North, reached Sir 
 Pertinax by other channels than the lips of Mr. 
 Leaky, and the baronet now felt himself most 
 sorely annoyed by the circumstance, inasmuch as 
 he was most deeply smitten by Miss North. So 
 the political part of the baronet's character began 
 now to develop itself, and he meditated how he 
 might use his influence and importance in be- 
 half of the captived patriot; and, when from 
 Octavius Leaky, he understood that Mr. North 
 had the reputation of possessing no small share
 
 TRUCKLEEOEOUGK HALL. 
 
 of personal pride, and aristocratical hauteur, 
 by the means of his natural constitution strug- 
 gling against his acquired opinions, then did 
 Sir Pertinax no longer hesitate as to what part 
 he should take, and forthwith he hastened to 
 Lord Slender's to consult what best was to be 
 done to extricate poor Mr. North from his 
 perilous condition. 
 
 On any other occasion, Sir Pertinax would 
 not have condescended to consult with a whig 
 on matters of influence or management ; but now 
 he was desirous of shewing off in presence, or, 
 at least, to the knowledge of the young lady. 
 Arrived at his lordship's house, the baronet 
 requested an interview immediately with Charles 
 Slender. When they met he began thus : 
 
 " My good friend, I am most heartily con- 
 cerned to hear that a gentleman of your acquaint- 
 ance has brought himself into very serious diffi- 
 culties, by his political vagaries. I have just 
 called to say, that you may use my influence in 
 any way you may see fit to command, if you
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 329 
 
 think that I can be of any service to your friend; 
 and I trust, if I were to exert myself, I have so 
 much weight that I might prevent the affair 
 from coming to any thing very serious." 
 
 Charles Slender understood all this perfectly 
 well. He smiled, not very broadly, and in 
 answer to these magnificent offers, only said, " I 
 thank you, Sir Pertinax ; but there will be no 
 necessity for you to give yourself the slightest 
 trouble on the occasion. I have had an interview 
 with Lord Vellum, and am assured of his good 
 offices, should they be required ; he himself, 
 however, thinks that they will not. I believe the 
 charge itself is very slight, and the evidence 
 rather defective." 
 
 "But," continued the baronet, " I understand 
 that the privy council is in possession of an im- 
 portant paper, which was found on Mr. North's 
 person, and supposed to be in his hand-writing, 
 and this is the great testimony against him." 
 
 " Supposed to be in his hand- writing ! I 
 believe it is only supposition. I am well assured
 
 330 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 that no treasonable document ever was written 
 by Mr. North, or by his direction ; and if any 
 such paper exists, and was supposed to drop out 
 of his hand or pocket, I look upon it to be a mere 
 cheat ; the dirty trick of some spy or informer." 
 
 " Nay, but, my good Sir, I have seen a gen- 
 tleman who is acquainted with the rector of 
 Truckleborough, and who says that the doctor 
 has seen the paper, and is ready to swear that it 
 is in the hand- writing of Mr. North, and this 
 clergyman is subpoenaed to attend and give testi- 
 mony when the trial comes on. I hope I may 
 be wrong.'' 
 
 K I trust you are. However, I thank you for 
 your kind offer, Sir Pertinax, though your 
 mediation may not be needed. 1 ' 
 
 The baronet took his leave, and though disap- 
 pointed in the object of his visit, w r as yet grati- 
 fied in having had an opportunity of shewing his 
 importance. Charles Slender was very much per- 
 plexed, however, by the mention of the seditious 
 paper, and especially by the intelligence that
 
 TRUCKLEB0R0UGH HALL. 331 
 
 Dr. Mufflechops was in town, and would swear 
 to the writing as being that of Mr. North. He 
 was anxious, therefore, to see Lord Vellum again ; 
 and if he could get no satisfactory answer from 
 him, he was resolved to sift North himself more 
 closely on the subject, being well assured that if 
 this paper were got rid of, the rest of the business 
 was but a trifle, that could soon be settled ; for 
 he had been already informed by Lord Vellum 
 that the present prisoners were not the persons 
 whom ministers had more especially in view as 
 desiring their conviction. 
 
 Lord Vellum must have been very busy 
 indeed, had he not been able to receive a call 
 from one of the Slender family, and very- 
 important and momentous must those state 
 secrets have been, which he could withhold from 
 the importunity of one of that family. Charles 
 was, therefore, presently admitted to an audience, 
 and his lordship most politely prepared to give 
 him every intelligence in his power, and to 
 grant him all the assistance he could, in behalf
 
 332 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 of his unfortunate friend. At the same time, 
 he looked very grave, and assured his visitor, 
 that the paper in question was, beyond all 
 doubt, the property and the writing of Mr. 
 North. He also added, that there was some- 
 thing mysterious in the address, which rendered 
 it doubtful as to whom it was intended to be 
 sent. His lordship not seeming disposed to 
 make any more particular communications, 
 Charles left him after having obtained per- 
 mission to visit Mr. North in the house of 
 bondage. 
 
 Poor Mr. North, after his capture and exami- 
 nation, had scarcely taken possession of a tole- 
 rably decent apartment, in his majesty's prison 
 of Newgate, when he was agreeably surprised 
 by a visit from his good friend Charles Slender. 
 This was a great refreshment to the dejected 
 and disappointed patriot, and he held forth 
 his hand, with an expression of cordiality, 
 towards his welcome visitor. His first question 
 was concerning his daughter, and when that
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 333 
 
 inquiry was satisfactorily answered, his counte- 
 nance brightened up, and he began to converse 
 with an unrestrained vivacity; narrating the 
 adventures of his journey, and concluding his 
 narrative with an expression of confidence in the 
 favourable result of his approaching trial. 
 
 " But have you made up your mind as to 
 what counsel you will employ ?" said Charles. 
 
 " I have made up my mind to be my own 
 counsellor, to plead my own cause." 
 
 " What, do you forget the old saying, that 
 he who pleads his own cause, has a fool for his 
 client ; or do you hope to prove an exception to 
 that rule ?" 
 
 " My good friend, I would rather have a 
 fool for my client, than be client to a knave." 
 
 w You are rather too severe on the profes- 
 sion. I think you might find an honest advo- 
 cate, or at least one that will serve your pur- 
 pose quite as well, and perhaps better." 
 
 " No such thing, I tell you. There is not one 
 man that wears a gown who dares to speak those
 
 834 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 wholesome and unpalatable truths which must be 
 my defence : besides, my good friend, think you 
 that my only object is a personal escape from 
 the penalties of an unjust law ? Think you that 
 I am come to this crisis of my political exertions, 
 and that here I am dropt down into a humble 
 criminal, seeking to wriggle out of the labyrinth 
 of law by some petty quibble or contrivance ? 
 An opportunity is now aiforded to me, not only 
 of preserving myself, but of contributing to the 
 deliverance of the nation, and this opportunity 
 1 will not, and must not neglect." 
 
 " But surely you cannot expect to make any 
 impression on the nation by means of an Old 
 Bailey trial for sedition ! What I most wish to 
 ask you about, is this seditious paper, which is 
 mentioned as having fallen from your hand or 
 pocket ; and this paper, I hear from good autho- 
 rity, is clearly written by your own hand. I 
 am puzzled about this.'' 
 
 " And so was I," replied the philosopher ; 
 " and if you were to read the said paper, you
 
 THUCKLEBOHOUGH HALL. 335 
 
 would be puzzled still more to conjecture what 
 sedition or treason could be found in it. It is 
 certainly written in my hand, and by my hand, 
 but it is not seditious." 
 
 " Then you know what the paper is, and of 
 course will explain it satisfactorily at your 
 trial r 
 
 " I do know what the paper is," responded 
 Mr. North, " but I am not quite sure that I 
 shall explain it satisfactorily. I must endeavour 
 to prove what it is not, and leave curiosity to 
 conjecture what it is." 
 
 Our readers are, of course, mightily anxious 
 to know all about this wonderful paper, but we 
 cannot gratify their curiosity at present. Indeed, 
 as it is the only piece of mystery in the whole 
 course of our narrative, we are willing to make 
 the most of it, and we are not quite sure that we 
 shall let the secret out at all ; we may probably 
 think fit, in our wisdom, to leave it to the con- 
 jectures of the curious. At all events we make 
 no promises.
 
 336 TRUCKLEBOEOUGH HALL. 
 
 Charles Slender, finding that Mr. North was 
 as obstinate in keeping the secret as we are, 
 ceased to question him any further on the sub- 
 ject ; but assured the patriot, that, if any thing 
 were in his power, he would be most happy in 
 forwarding any views that tended to his safety, 
 and to a pleasant termination of this unhappy 
 business. 
 
 " Nay, nay,"" exclaimed the prisoner, " call it 
 not unhappy ! I am conscious of my innocence, 
 even under the present and existing laws, and 
 therefore this false accusation cannot bring 
 odium or disgrace upon me, and cannot be fraught 
 with any personal danger to me ; but it will 
 furnish me with a most glorious opportunity of 
 giving publicity to my views ; and all the friends 
 of the liberty of mankind will rally round me, 
 and our strength will be known.'' 
 
 While Mr. North was speaking, a new visitor 
 was announced ; and when the said visitor en- 
 tered the apartment, Mr. Slender immediately 
 recognised the important personage, who has
 
 TRUCXLEUOKOUGH HALL. 
 
 337 
 
 been introduced to our readers by the name of 
 Sir Pertinax Pennyfarthing. 
 
 " My good friend, Slender," exclaimed the 
 baronet, " I am most happy to meet with you, 
 and to find you thus laudably employed in visit- 
 ing the captive. Mr. North, I am sorry to see 
 you under the frown of the law. May I pre- 
 sume to offer my best services in this momentous 
 
 crisis r 
 
 Mr. North stared; Charles Slender explained; 
 and the patriot acknowledged the great polite- 
 ness of the accomplished baronet, who received 
 the acknowledgment most graciously. There 
 was, however, a slight misunderstanding between 
 the patriot and the baronet : for the former con- 
 sidered the visit of the latter as a homage paid 
 to his patriotism, and as an implied acknowledg- 
 ment of similarity of sentiment; but the baronet 
 considered himself in the light of a powerful 
 patron, and as an effectual interceder with the 
 ruling powers, to abate their severity towards 
 vol. i. a
 
 338 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 the misguided and erroneously thinking patriot. 
 Under this impression, and excited by the 
 agreeable intelligence he had received of his 
 daughter's welfare, the patriot addressed himself 
 to his new acquaintance with unusual anima- 
 tion. 
 
 " Sir Pertinax, this visit does you honor, 
 and I feel most deeply indebted to you for your 
 sympathy. We live in trying times, Sir Per- 
 tinax ; and let me tell you, there are few persons, 
 in your rank, who think, and dare act as you do." 
 
 " Mr. North, you are disposed to be compli- 
 mentary. I do trust, however, that I shall always 
 act worthy of my character as an English " 
 
 " Baronet, 1 ' he would have said, but Mr. 
 North, in the ardour of his feelings cut short the 
 speech by addressing himself to Charles Slen- 
 der, and urging him to adopt the same mode of 
 thinking as the worthy baronet had. The 
 young gentleman smiled at the recommendation, 
 and perceived the patriot's blunder ; but he was
 
 TRCCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 339 
 
 unwilling to disturb the complacency and satis- 
 faction of either party by an explanation, he 
 therefore, in reply to Mr. North, only said : 
 
 " My good Sir, this is not a time for the 
 discussion of opinions, and of modes of thinking: 
 we must now think of making arrangements for 
 your defence." 
 
 " Nonsense, young man, 1 ' replied the self- 
 satisfied patriot, " my defence is arranged al- 
 ready ; I have it in my innocence, and my 
 tongue will not fail to give it due utterance." 
 
 " That was exactly my opinion, Mr. North," 
 interrupted Sir Pertinax. " I considered you 
 as a falsely accused man from the very first 
 moment that the affair was named : I thought it 
 impossible that a person of your rank and talent 
 should ever be so far off his guard as to be guilty 
 of treason or sedition.'" 
 
 " Treason' and sedition, Sir Pertinax, are 
 terms which are used with variety of meaning, 
 and are, as all other words, frequently misapplied. 
 
 Now treason, I consider " 
 
 Q 2
 
 340 TRUCKLEBOKOUGH HALL. 
 
 " Exactly so," exclaimed Sir Pertinax, " that 
 is my way of thinking. Now, I remember when 
 I was once in company with some of the 
 members of the opposition, and the conversation 
 ran on political subjects, I ventured to give 
 my opinion of that great movement, the French 
 revolution. < That revolution/ said I, < is un- 
 doubtedly a great national movement — those 
 were exactly my words, a great national move- 
 ment — but, I added, but there is something 
 wrong in it ; and time, Sir, time will show its 
 consequences.' These Mr. North, these were 
 my words, and I feel confident I was right. 
 Indeed, I had the honor of receiving the testi- 
 mony of a leader of opposition, that 1 had 
 formed a very correct judgment. Now, some 
 persons might be vain of such flattering testimo- 
 nials, but I do not altogether approve of oppo- 
 sition politics. To say the truth, politics are 
 not with me, as with some persons in my rank, 
 an exclusive study ; I feel greater delight in cul- 
 tivating the fine arts, and I hope I shall soon
 
 TRCCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 341 
 
 have the pleasure of Mr. Norths company in 
 the Pennyfarthing gallery.' 1 
 
 The transition from treason and sedition to 
 the Pennyfarthing gallery, and through the in- 
 tervening steps of opposition, politics, and the 
 French revolution, rather puzzled and perplexed 
 our imprisoned patriot. He could not under- 
 stand what was the connection between treason 
 and sedition, and the Pennyfarthing gallery : 
 and then he looked at Sir Pertinax with an 
 inquiring eye, as much as to say 5< " Is the man 
 crazy ?° 
 
 Whether Sir Pertinax read the question in 
 the patriot's eye, or whether a sudden conscious- 
 ness of inconsequentiality came upon him, we 
 know not, but he forthwith smiled at himself 
 and said : 
 
 " I beg pardon, however, for wandering 
 from the business now under consideration : 
 I can only say, that if in any thing I can be of 
 service to Mr. North, I am most ready and 
 desirous to contribute the mite of my influence
 
 342 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 towards the desirable object of his speedy re- 
 storation to liberty and society. Of course you 
 will employ the best counsel." 
 
 " I think my own the best," was the patriot's 
 concise reply. 
 
 " Your own, Mr. North, your own ! Surely 
 you will not be so rash. We must not suffer 
 you so far to endanger your cause as to renounce 
 the ordinary means of defence. Now, if you 
 will so far indulge me as to listen to my recom- 
 mendation, I would recommend my acquaint- 
 ance Counsellor Babblethwaite. He is pro- 
 foundly skilled in law, and would be very 
 eloquent, if he had an opportunity of opening 
 his lips in court ; but, unfortunately, though he 
 has been at the bar for nearly fifteen years, lie 
 has not yet had a cause in which he could dis- 
 play the full powers of his eloquence. I think 
 you will do well to try him." 
 
 Mr. North declined the assistance of Counsellor 
 Babblethwaite ; nor could any entreaty change 
 the resolution which he had taken, of defending
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 343 
 
 his own cause. His visitors, after fruitlessly 
 endeavouring to persuade him to a contrary line 
 of conduct, at length took leave of him, and 
 consigned him to his own meditations ; which 
 were soon after again interrupted by the in- 
 trusion of Mr. Jackson, of Truckleborough, 
 who being in town by accident, and learning of 
 Mr. Norths unpleasant situation, just stepped in 
 to offer his professional assistance. 
 
 Now it so happened that the patriot had not 
 quite forgotten the professional assistance which 
 he had heretofore received from the above- 
 named solicitor ; wherefore, when the man of 
 law came smirking into the prisoner's apartment, 
 he found not a very cordial or gracious recep- 
 tion ; and to his proffers of professional assist- 
 ance Mr. North very coldly replied, that he 
 had already experienced the solicitor's dexterity 
 in bringing him into a scrape, and he distrusted 
 his skill to bring him out of one. And when 
 Mr. Jackson became more importunate, Mr. 
 North said rather angrily and hastily :
 
 344 TRUCKLE BOROUGH HALL. 
 
 "Mr. Jackson, whatever the law inflicts I 
 must abide, and take it as I may ; but I will 
 not voluntarily inflict upon myself the penalty 
 of a lawyer's bill." 
 
 That was very rude to Mr. Jackson, just as if 
 he came and offered his services merely for what 
 he could get. He felt it accordingly, and had 
 he not been rather accustomed to such rude 
 speeches, there is no saying what would have 
 been the depth of his resentment ; but he was 
 for the most part an unruffled man, and he had a 
 family to provide for, and from his youth he had 
 been instructed to govern his temper among all 
 with whom he had or might have business. 
 His legal instructor used often to say to him, 
 " Don't be angry and passionate, that is not the 
 way to get on in the world ; for you can never 
 set down in a bill— ' For being in a passion, 
 6s. Scl? We must do him the justice to say 
 that he had certainly profited by this advice in 
 more senses than one. He, therefore very pla- 
 cidly and politely took his leave of the disturbed
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 345 
 
 patriot ; and Mr. North, once more, was left to 
 the enjoyment of meditation and solitude. In 
 this solitude the patriot betook himself to 
 thoughts on the mode of conducting his defence, 
 and he has since been heard to say that he almost 
 wished at that time, that the charge against him 
 had been more serious and threatening, in order 
 that it might have afforded a stronger stimulus 
 to his mind, and have given a greater interest to 
 his situation ; and he also has said, that he was so 
 frequently interrupted in the train of his thought, 
 by imagining what distinguished persons would 
 be present at his trial, and what effects his elo- 
 quence would have upon them, that he could 
 scarcely preserve the continuity of his ideas. 
 
 a 3
 
 346 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL, 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 But my hearers cry out, what a deuce dost thou ail, 
 Put off thy reflections aud give us thy tale. 
 
 Prior. 
 
 In the last chapter, we have seen a captive, 
 and three of his comforters. Of this party, the 
 prisoner seems the only one that is pleased and 
 satisfied. Charles Slender was displeased that 
 he could not bring Mr. North to reason. Sir 
 Pertinax was displeased, that a recommendation 
 of Counsellor Babblethwaite had no weight 
 with the patriot ; and last, though not least, in 
 his displeasure, was Mr. Jackson, who was 
 disappointed of a job. So strange are the turns 
 and varieties of human life ! Thus often do 
 we find our compassion misplaced, and we fre-
 
 TEUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 347 
 
 quently suffer more from sympathy, than the 
 objects of our pity endure from the very cir- 
 cumstances, which excite our pity and awaken 
 our sympathy. This is a wise remark, very 
 much in the style of Euripides. It may be 
 a quotation ; let our classical readers look to it. 
 It is usually the practice of novel writers, 
 when they have collected together a group of 
 their characters, and are forced to separate them, 
 uniformly to desert that one which is most 
 likely to have excited the interest of the reader, 
 and to follow one which seems to be the least 
 interesting. So a feeling of curiosity is raised, 
 and the mind of the reader is awakened by a 
 change of position. Now we, who hate and 
 abhor all manner of common-place hackneyed 
 tricks, are most truly desirous of treating our 
 readers with civility and courtesy, and would 
 not by any means wish to draw them away 
 from that which interests them, and would be 
 most happy to keep the fate and interests of 
 the hero constantly before them, especially in
 
 348 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 this critical period of his life. But we would 
 ask any candid persons how it is possible to 
 entertain them for three weeks in a private 
 apartment in Newgate. There are books to 
 be sure, — a few only, such as Dodd's Prison 
 Thoughts, Newgate Calendar, three volumes 
 of the Spectator, Thomson's Seasons, Burn's 
 Justice, Common-Prayer Book, and London 
 Directory. These may afford amusement for 
 three weeks, but not to novel readers. And 
 what will Mr. North be doing all this while ? 
 Merely studying speeches, for the good of the 
 nation ; mightily entertaining to himself, but 
 not so to others. Then let us leave him to 
 the delectable employment, uninterrupted by 
 our presence, and we in the mean time will 
 pay our respects to Sir Pertinax Pennyfarthing, 
 for he is a particular kind of a gentleman, and 
 can bear any thing better than neglect : even 
 when he was a boy, at Westminster School, 
 having encountered some uncourteous discip- 
 line from his school-fellows, on account of some
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 849 
 
 piece of coxcombry, he was heard to say, " I 
 would rather be kicked, than not noticed." 
 But we are not going to kick him. 
 
 It has been observed, that Sir Pertinax was 
 somewhat displeased, that Mr. North would 
 not take his recommendation of a learned coun- 
 sellor ; now the baronet was not indeed in what 
 may be called a downright passion ; he merely 
 thought it very odd, that a man of such good 
 sense as Mr. North should differ from a man 
 of such good sense as Sir Pertinax Penny- 
 farthing ; and as Miss North was a very pretty 
 girl in the baronet's judgment, he still conti- 
 nued desirous of being serviceable to Mr. North. 
 And we may add, as he had long patronized 
 Counsellor Babblethwaite, he was truly desirous 
 of finding him a job. However, as one good 
 intention is better than a hundred bad deeds, 
 he thought that at least he would confer on 
 his friend, the counsellor, the obligation of 
 letting him know what efforts had been made 
 to serve him.
 
 350 TttUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 With this design, he posted to the chambers 
 of Counsellor Babblethwaite, whom he found 
 at home, deeply engaged in reading some 
 high treason trials. Casting his eye upon 
 the books as they lay on the table, the baronet 
 exclaimed : 
 
 " Why, Babblethwaite, you are pursuing 
 voluntarily a study, into which it was my wish 
 and intention to have forced you." 
 
 "Beg pardon, don't understand,'' replied the 
 man of law. 
 
 " Simply speaking, then, I have been endea- 
 vouring to persuade a high-treason prisoner to 
 put himself into your learned hands." 
 
 " Learned hands, learned hands, oh ! I under- 
 stand you ; you mean to say that I have the law 
 at my fingers' ends : very good, very good. But 
 listen, Sir Pertinax, my fortune is made. See ! 
 there ! look ! brief — brief : two briefs, two briefs 
 for a high treason trial ! One for John Nokes, 
 and one for Thomas Styles. I shall be immor- 
 talized,— shall indeed. I shall write out my
 
 TRUCKLEBOROCTGH HALL. 351 
 
 speech before hand, and give it to the re- 
 porters." 
 
 " Well, I am happy to find you in such high 
 spirits. I hope your expectations of fame and 
 profit will be abundantly answered. By the 
 way, are you too busy to honour me with your 
 company at dinner to-day ?" 
 
 " Thank you — why — yes — I can dine with 
 you ; but I must leave you early, for I intend 
 to go to the theatre to-night, to see John Kembk 
 in the Stranger : I wish to study his start, when he 
 sees Mrs. Haller. I shall practice that, and ex- 
 hibit it at the Old Bailey : it will have a fine effect. 
 I shall imagine the judge to be Mrs. Haller." 
 
 "But, can you tell me any thing about this 
 trial, or rather accusation, for I wish to know 
 whether it be likely to terminate seriously for 
 any of the prisoners ?" 
 
 "Seriouslv, Sir Pertinax, I cannot tell you. 
 I have read my briefs, but I cannot understand 
 them. It seems that my poor innocent clients 
 were very harmlessly sitting m a little snug par-
 
 852 TEUCKXEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 lour at a pot-house in Shoe-lane : — by the way, 
 Sir Pertinax, do you know where Shoe-lane is ?" 
 
 " 'Pon honor, I have no knowledge whatever 
 of the scite or situation of so vulgar a place." 
 
 " Vulgar, vulgar place — well well, you know 
 enough of it to know that it is a vulgar place : 
 come that is something. — But to proceed, — my 
 poor innocent clients were sitting, in all the 
 simplicity of their souls, in a pot-house, in a 
 street that Sir Pertinax Pennyfarthing is pleased 
 to call vulgar." 
 
 " Really, Babblethwaite, you are quite pro- 
 voking : why can't you proceed in due order 
 and regular course of narration, without these 
 needless digressions.*'' 
 
 " Really, Sir Pertinax, you are more provoking 
 still ; why can't you let me alone in my narra- 
 tive, which is most likely to proceed smoothly 
 and glibly, if it has only my digressions, and 
 not your comments in addition, to impede its 
 course. You. shall hear, that is to say, if you 
 will listen ; but you must not interrupt, or I shall
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 353 
 
 begin all over again, and perhaps, after all, be so 
 confused, that I shall forget all but the very 
 first sentence." 
 
 " Well, I am profoundly silent." 
 
 u So I hear. Now to proceed, or more pro- 
 perly speaking, to begin ; for I am sure by this 
 time you must have forgotten the first sentence. 
 My poor innocent clients were sitting in all 
 simplicity in a parlour in a pot-house, in Shoe- 
 lane — and thinking nothing of sedition, or 
 treason, or any other actual or possible trans- 
 gression of those most excellent laws, which 
 the wisdom of our ancestors has made, or the 
 wisdom of their descendants has explained. It 
 appears, I say, from this brief, that there they 
 were sitting, in all the simplicity of their hearts, 
 listening to grave discourse, which they could 
 not understand, and which, for all thair simple 
 souls know to the contrary, might have been a 
 methodist sermon ; for they say that the pre- 
 sident, or chairman, looked very much like a me- 
 thodist parson. Unfortunately for these, my inno-
 
 354 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 cent clients, some of the company or congregation, 
 for you must know, Sir Pertinax, that congre- 
 gation means in its etymological acceptation, 
 in its pure, genuine, unsophisticated, and ex- 
 tensive sense, an assembling or gathering to- 
 gether, though now it is applied, not laxly, I 
 grant you, but rather, to speak accurately, con- 
 finedly to the gathering together of persons, 
 men, women, and children, for the express pur- 
 pose of hearing sermons, or prayers, in any 
 church, chapel, chapel of ease, tabernacle, con- 
 venticle, licensed barn, or other place more or 
 less commodious. ,, 
 
 Sir Pertinax must have been a model of 
 patience, if he could have borne all this, without 
 some expression of anger or impatience: but 
 Sir Pertinax was not a model of patience, and 
 therefore -he did express himself rather hastily, 
 saying,— 
 
 " Demmit, Babblethwaite, you will make me 
 swear, if you go on at this rate."" 
 
 " No, no, don't swear, don't swear ; you are
 
 TEUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 355 
 
 liable to a penalty of five shillings for every 
 oath ; and in the course of a few hours, with an 
 irritable and hasty man, that may amount to 
 a very serious sum. Now, be persuaded, don't 
 swear, it will do you no good."' 
 
 The baronet smiled ; he had long been accus- 
 tomed to his friend's oddities, but still he felt them 
 very annoying, whenever they interfered, as at 
 present, with the gratification of his curiosity. 
 Wisely, therefore, refraining from farther inter- 
 ruption, he let his informant proceed according 
 to his own humour ; and if we were to do so 
 too, we should finish the volume, or more, with 
 a full, true, and particular account of all the 
 gentleman's variations and digressions. Suffice 
 it then to say, that after listening for nearly an 
 hour and a half to Counsellor Babblethwaite's talk, 
 Sir Pertinax Pennyfarthing found himself pre- 
 cisely in that predicament in which many others 
 find themselves after listening as long to a volu- 
 ble counsellor; videlicet, he knew just as much 
 as he knew before, and no more.
 
 356 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 "I shall dine at five precisely," said the baronet. 
 
 u So shall I" responded the counsellor ; and 
 he was as good as his word. This is a virtue, 
 which is never sufficiently praised ; though its 
 opposite vice is more than enough vituperated. 
 But, as we are not desirous of drawing a faultless 
 monster, and as we do not design to impose upon 
 our readers, any characters as possessing more 
 virtues than are actually their lot, we are 
 under the necessity of making a slight deduction 
 from Babblethwaite's virtue of pudding punc- 
 tuality, by stating, that Sir Pertinax never 
 waited for any body, and so punctual was the 
 baronefs cook, that there was some little diffi- 
 culty in determining whether the cook ruled the 
 clock, or the clock the cook. 
 
 With Sir Pertinax Pennyfarthing, and Coun- 
 sellor Babblethwaite, there sat down to dinner 
 Charles Slender and Octavius Leaky. There 
 was praise bestowed on the cook, and commen- 
 dations, " deep, not loud,"' were lavished on the 
 wine merchant: and there began to be some
 
 TRUCXLEBOftOUGH HALL. 357 
 
 little talk on the fine arts ; for Babblethwaite 
 had formerly been a bit of an artist himself, and 
 had painted a portrait of his grandmother, which 
 his laundress happening to see in an unfinished 
 state, pronounced to be a capital likeness of 
 Judge JBuller. Babblethwaite did not like flattery, 
 therefore, he put the portrait in the fire. Sir 
 Pertinax loved the fine arts too, and he could not 
 help regretting that his own portrait was not in a 
 state of sufficient forwardness to be exhibited to his 
 guests. In fact it was all done but the face, and 
 that had been done, but the artist had obliterated it, 
 and was waiting for another sitting ; for he could 
 not yet hit oft' the proper expression to harmonize 
 with the scene ; seeing that Sir Pertinax had no 
 other varieties of countenance at his command 
 than a grin and a frown ; and as his countenance 
 was not what is called imposing, it was rather an 
 imposition to set the artist such a task as to deli- 
 neate Sit* Pertinax Penny farthing in such wise, that 
 he might be Sir Pertinax to all his friends, and 
 Marius to the rest of the world. Babblethwaite
 
 S58 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 was exactly of our opinion, and he asked his host 
 when the great work was to be finished, being, as 
 he said, curious to see how the limner had executed 
 his task. Sir Pertinax, who was not very acute 
 in detecting a latent laugh, thought that he had 
 more than once observed in his friend, the coun- 
 sellor, an expression amounting to what is usually 
 called quizzing ; he was, therefore, desirous of 
 dropping that subject, and very readily turned 
 the discourse to the calamitous situation of 
 Mr. North : addressing himself to Charles 
 Slender, he said : 
 
 " 'Pon honor, Slender, I am sorry for poor 
 North — he must have had bad advisers. I wish 
 I had known him sooner ; by all that's good, I 
 would have kept him out of these scrapes. He 
 seems a sensible man ; it is very odd he won't 
 take my advice. Perhaps you can persuade him 
 to employ counsel.' ' 
 
 " I fear not," replied Charles; " I have used 
 all the reasoning of which I am master, and find 
 it absolutely impossible : but I hope there will
 
 TRUCKLEB0R0UGH HALL. 359 
 
 be no serious consequences, — the indictment is 
 only for seditious words. 1 '' 
 
 " Seditious writing! treasonable writing, too," 
 interrupted the counsellor ; u I have seen the 
 writing, and there is proof positive." 
 
 " Have you seen the writing?" exclaimed the 
 baronet : " why you did not say a word about it 
 to me, when I called at your chambers this 
 morning." 
 
 " To be sure not ! how could I ? You would 
 not let me speak.' ' 
 
 61 Demmit, Babblethwaite, how can you say so? 
 you would not tell your story straight forward, 
 as you ought, and I was forced to interrupt you, 
 that T might " 
 
 " Ay, ay, forced to interrupt me : you would 
 not let me tell the story in my own way, and you 
 might as well forbid a man the use of his own 
 tongue, as not to let him adopt his own method 
 of narration. Gentlemen," continued he, turning 
 to the other two, " I will appeal to your own 
 senses and your own judgment : here is my
 
 360 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 worthy friend, Sir Pertinax Pennyfarthing, dying 
 to find out a secret which is in my possession, 
 and I, as in duty bound to an old friend, am 
 very ready and desirous to let him know all 
 that I know on the subject, and yet, ten to one, 
 he will not let me tell him any thing about it. 
 Now, will you have the goodness to listen.*" 
 
 This last sentence was addressed to Sir Per- 
 tinax, but the rest of the company obeyed the 
 injunction, and put themselves in listening at- 
 titude, and the counsellor continued": — , 
 
 " I have seen the seditious or treasonable 
 paper, which is to be produced in evidence 
 against our, or more properly speaking, your 
 friend, Mr. Stephen Bardolph North, or Ste- 
 phen Bardolph North, Esq. though, by the way, 
 he might as well sink the squire, when he 
 comes to make his appearance at the bar in the 
 Old Bailey. I have seen, I say, this paper, I 
 have read it, but, unfortunately, I have forgotten 
 its contents." 
 
 " Now, Babblethwaite, you are too bad ;" was
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 361 
 
 the general exclamation, in which the three lis- 
 teners joined most heartily. 
 
 " There, there, 1 ' said the counsellor, " that is 
 exactly what I anticipated ; I told you how it 
 would be, I knew how impatient you were, you 
 will not let me speak." 
 
 "Well, but, Sir," said Charles Slender, "you 
 promised us some information on the subject of 
 this paper, and now you say you have forgotten 
 its contents. What does your information 
 amount to? — you seem to know no more than 
 we do, who have not seen it." 
 
 *f Patience, Sir, patience : I did say I had un- 
 fortunately forgotten its contents, and I am sorry 
 for your sakes that I have, seeing that you seem 
 so anxious to know them ; not that I think that 
 the knowledge would greatly enlighten you. I 
 have, however, forgotten its contents ; but it 
 does not follow that I have forgotten its spirit. 1 ' 
 
 " True,' 5 replied Charles, in a tone which 
 seemed to apologize for the accent of rebuke, 
 
 VOL, I. R
 
 362 TRUCKLEBOKOUGH HALL. 
 
 which characterized his last speech ; " and pray, 
 Sir, what was the spirit of it ?" 
 
 " Very dark and mysterious, profoundly mys- 
 terious !" said Babblethwaite. 
 
 "But was the paper decidedly treasonable, or 
 even seditious ?" asked Charles. 
 
 " Why, my good Sir, that is the question ; 
 and it is a question which involves much. I must 
 first of all endeavour to ascertain what is the 
 exact meaning and force of the terms sedition 
 and treason ; and then, after all, perhaps it 
 would be presumption in me to affect to an- 
 ticipate the decision of a jury, or the dictum of a 
 learned judge.'' 1 
 
 Charles Slender began to grow fidgetty again, 
 and very impatient, and rather more hastily 
 asked — '•' Pray, Sir, can you say whether or not 
 the paper of which we are speaking, had a de- 
 cidedly seditious tendency, or are you even 
 positive that the matter was at all political ?"' 
 
 Babblethwaite looked with provokingly placid
 
 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 3()3 
 
 attention at Charles while he was speaking, 
 and when he had finished, after repeating 
 word for word the question put to him, said — 
 " You have here, Sir, asked me two questions, 
 to each of which I am desirous to give you a 
 satisfactory answer. Though I must be per- 
 mitted to observe, by the way, that the arrange- 
 ment of these questions is not judicious, inas- 
 much as you compel the answerer, your humble 
 servant, to use more words than are absolutely 
 necessary for the full development of his ideas : 
 your last question should have been placed first; 
 for if you had first asked, is the paper political, 
 and the answer to that question had been in the 
 negative, then any other inquiry would have 
 been superseded ; for had the paper been not 
 political, it could not have been, by any con- 
 struction, seditious or treasonable.'' 
 
 " Well, Sir, then to save words, I will ask 
 you, was the paper political ?"" 
 
 <b Now, Sir," replied the counsellor, " you 
 have 6poken definitely, and I can answer your 
 r 2
 
 364 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 question circumstantially. You ask, was the 
 paper political ? I have already said, and I am 
 sorry that I had reason to say, that unfortunately 
 I have forgotten the contents, or language of 
 the paper ; and I have also said, that I remem- 
 ber the spirit of the paper, and that it was 
 deeply, profoundly mysterious. We now come 
 to the point : I am clearly of opinion, that if 
 the paper had been addressed from one person 
 engaged in a plot, to another person engaged in 
 a plot, and that if the two persons thoroughly 
 understood and co-operated with each other, 
 and that there was no other, or could be no 
 other correspondence between them, than touch- 
 ing the said plot, and that they had resolved so 
 to correspond, that nobody but themselves could 
 understand what they were writing about, then 
 I should pronounce 'the paper decidedly sedi- 
 tious and political." 
 
 "Thank you, Sir, thank you," replied Charles 
 Slender, "lam perfectly satisfied." 
 
 And so he was perfectly satisfied, that Bab-
 
 TRUCKLEBOROI'GH HALL. 365 
 
 blethwaite knew nothing about the matter, or 
 was disinclined to communicate his knowledge 
 to the company. The counsellor soon retired, 
 in order to get a good place in the pit, to see 
 Kemble. 
 
 When conversation flags in a small party, it 
 is no bad contrivance for one to retire, and by 
 that means he furnishes a fresh topic to those 
 that remain. 
 
 " That Babblethwaite is a man of great pene- 
 tration and acuteness," said Sir Pertinax, " but 
 he is so abominably prosing, that it wearies one 
 to talk with him. Positively my head aches 
 already with my efforts to follow the train of 
 his reasoning." 
 
 kC Positively,'" responded Leaky, " my head 
 does not ache, for I made no effort to attend to 
 him. He is a fellow of no information, and 
 seems to have learned the dictionary by heart, 
 and to utter the greatest possible number of 
 words, with the least possible quantity of mean-
 
 S66 TRUC1CLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 ing. I wonder you patronize him, Pennyfar- 
 thing." 
 
 " Why, 1 '' said the baronet, " it is charity to 
 patronize one, whom nobody else would patro- 
 nize ; but I will maintain he is a clever fellow." 
 
 " Certainly," answered Leaky, " he is so 
 clever, that he can talk without conveying any 
 ideas ; he has that talent to perfection." 
 
 " His circumlocution," said Sir Pertinax, " is 
 owing to his conscientiousness, and his strict 
 desire to confine himself within the limits of 
 veracity. In that point of view he is greatly to 
 be esteemed, for he may be so far depended 
 on. 
 
 " A capital encomium of yours, Pennyfar- 
 thing. Yes, he is very conscientious, he never 
 tells lies ; and I may add, he never tells truth ; 
 in fact, he never tells any thing." 
 
 So the conversation ran, and by the time that 
 Babble thwaite's character, moral and intellec- 
 tual, had been fully discussed, Slender retired,
 
 TBUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 36? 
 
 and left his for dissection, and it was cut up 
 with as little mercy as judgment. At last Mr. 
 Leaky withdrew, and then Sir Pertinax was 
 left alone in his glory, and he meditated on his 
 own magnificence, and thought most humbly of 
 his departed guests. He walked into his picture 
 gallery, and looked very knowingly on the blank 
 space, which was destined for the reception of 
 Marius sitting among the ruins of Carthage, and 
 he thought within himself, " Who but I could 
 ever have formed such a grand idea f 1 He 
 thought rightly ; the idea was peculiarly his 
 own. 
 
 When he had meditated for a due length of 
 time on his own grand self, he next directed his 
 thoughts to Emma North, and he commended 
 his own condescension in resolving to raise the 
 young lady to the high rank of Lady Penny- 
 farthing. He was fully satisfied, that Mr. 
 North was not a low, vulgar jacobin, or any 
 thing of the kind : he had penetration enough 
 to see that he was perfectly innocent of all in-
 
 368 TRUCKLEBOROUGH HALL. 
 
 tention to overturn the government, and though 
 it might have been more agreeable to Sir Perti- 
 nax to have a father-in-law, not distinguished 
 for an appearance at the bar in the Old Bailey ; 
 yet he considered that he should display his 
 condescension more strikingly by offering his 
 hand to Miss North, under present circum- 
 stances, than if he should wait the issue of her 
 fathers trial. He wished, indeed, that the 
 young lady were under any other roof than 
 Lord Slender's ; for there might be some appear- 
 ance of fickleness, perhaps, in offering his hand 
 to Miss North, after having paid such marked 
 attention to Louisa Slender. He soon, however, 
 surmounted all difficulties, silenced all scruples, 
 and settled it with himself, that without more 
 delay, he would offer his hand to Miss North. 
 
 END OF VOL. 1. 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 SHACKELL AND BAYLJS, JOHNSON'S- COPR T.
 
 UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS-URBANA 
 
 3 0112 041744936