C7l2-e 
 
 185 - 
 
 Cofman, George 
 Love {aighs aL 
 t ocl<smi'ths,a musicat 
 •farce. 
 
Digitized by the Internet Archive 
 in 2017 with funding from 
 
 University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign Alternates 
 
 https://archive.org/details/lovelaughsatlockOOcolm 
 
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ilDbe laugfjs at iLorJi0:nitb$. 
 
 Bish. {throwing the sivord to the Grenadier) 'Fake your 
 swoid, and go to the devil ! 
 
 Act II. Scene 1. 
 
LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS 
 
 ^ lIHusical jrarrr, 
 
 IX TWO ACTS. 
 
 BV 
 
 GEORGE COLMAN, the Younger, 
 
 AUTHOR OF 
 
 The Heir-at-Law, Poor Gentleman, Ways and Means, John Lull, We 
 Fly by N ght, Africans, Law of Java, Battle of Hexham, 
 Sylvester Dagg-erwood, Who wants a Guinea? Iron 
 Chest, Surrender of Calais, Mountaineers, Blue 
 Devils, Eevievv, X. Y. Z., &c., &c. 
 
 WITH AN ILLUSTRATION. 
 
 AND HEM AUKS BY D.G. 
 
 THOMAS HAILES LACY, 
 
 THE AT iU C A L P U B M S 1 1 ER. 
 
 L O X D O N. 
 
i. 
 

 RF aIARKS. 
 
 
 
 ^laugi^s at ICotlismitljS. 
 
 Iv scenes of bustle and intrigue, Monsieur rules the roast. IW. 
 Bouilly’s “Une Folie” is the groundwork of this humorous farce. 
 
 The wire-drawn scenes of love— billet-doux suspended from case- 
 ments by silken cords— and the various tricks and disguises by which 
 amorous youth circumvents watchful old age, are here alive in all 
 their activity and merriment. 
 
 These vaudevilles pass away an hour with rationality and spirit. 
 Then the French players are such pleasant people ! What is 
 “ L’>mbassadeur,” or “ Le Savant,” without Perlet ? — “Fortune,” 
 in “ Le Bossu a-la-mode,” without Vernet? — or “La Femme de 
 L’Avorie,” without Jenny Vertpre? 
 
 But what give we our neighbours in return? Egad! they have; 
 made Hamlet a pantomime, Othello an opera, and then brag of 
 having mended Shakspeare ! A fellow offered to give a watchmaker 
 double the original cost of his watch if he would only mend it. The 
 bargain was struck, and the wag, having given a blow for his watch, 
 gave the mender— (what we should be glad to give the Frenchmen) — 
 two ' 
 
 Sad havoc have they made also with our School for Scandal and 
 John Bull ! But we shall not go to law with them : it would be like 
 a man selling his horse to go into Chancery for the bridle. 
 
 George Colman never touched a French farce that he did not im- 
 
 proye upon. Yet translation was the vice of his indolence, or 
 
 But we will give his own words, as he once gave them in one of his 
 unrestrained and joyous moods: — “Here lies Don Martin John 
 Barbuda, Grand Master of Alcantra, who never knew Fear.” — 
 Charles the Fifth of Germany, on reading these conceited lines, re- 
 marked, that Don Martin had probably never snuffed a candle with 
 his fingers. “ I am quite sure,” cried George, with his wonted arch 
 expression, and lolling luxuriously and indolently in his easy chair, 
 “ that he never wrote a farce ! ” 
 
 “Love Laughs at Locksmiths” illustrates a proverb similar to 
 that of “ Hunger breaks stone walls;” after the fashion of a mili- 
 tary spark, a plotting valet, an unwilling old dupe, and a willing 
 young lady. 
 
 a3 
 
t 
 
 REMARKS. 
 
 Mr. Vii»ll is the guardian, of a fair ward, who, heartily sick of her 
 imprisonment, warbles her woe from a window strongly barricaded 
 with iron bars; and yenJs love-ic-tters by ♦..b.e brsf-Hoor tw''penr-v 
 post tr; a certain tall Captain of Gre adiers, promising him her na;u! 
 and heart as the price of her release from bondage. Mars’s first 
 f lan of attack is in the disguise of Levi Kaiserman, a Jew picture- 
 dealer, whom Vigil expects from Germany. They meet at the iiix- 
 L’.bition, whither Vigil has repaired to see the ctfect of his new pic- 
 ture. Levi feigns unbounded admiration for this chef-deeuvre, and 
 betrays so much anxiety to get into the exhibitor’s house, tna* 
 Argus grows suspicious ; and, to try if he be the true man, asks him 
 t.o wl'^m h^" sold bis Proserpine? The mock Israelite answers, at 9 
 ’>old ventTire, to the Archbishop of Cologne. Impossible ! His, 
 eminence never could have committed such a gross indecorum i— 
 Why. the deuce a stitch of drapery had the beloved of Pluto to her 
 back ‘ This blows up the plot ; and the painter, having warned the 
 young greenhorn never to humbug an artist with having sold a pic- 
 ture he never painted, bids him a very good morning 
 
 1 he next moment, fortune, by way of amende for this slippery 
 trick, sends a bumpkin, Solomon Lob, upon the scene. This newly 
 imported prodigy oi intelligence, who has just alighted from the 
 waggon, and stands stupidly staring at the strange sights, reveals 
 (in the shape of an inquiry) to Captain Beldare and his servant. 
 Risk, that he comes as a visitor to uncle Totterton, Vigil’s super- 
 annuated colour-grinder; who, being “old, stupid gone, and a bit 
 fondish,” has sent for him from Tadcaster, to help his wits and give 
 him “ condolation ” Solomon, oeing noted for guessing at folks 
 “ instinkingly,” jumps (after one from Beldare o'" iffected surprise) 
 to the conclusion, that the man of war is the i an of paint, and 
 begins unlading a whole budget of village new. First, he has 
 brought a bag of golden guineas for the church picture; then the 
 j'arson’s sister, a shy spinster of fifty, fat and band , has hooked a 
 lightish match!) the rich humpbacked letter-carr er ; and, lastly 
 there is a letter for uncle Totterton from his loving sister Margery 
 written by her amanuensis, Robin Rawbones, caligraphist and black 
 smith, who has been main comfortable to the poor widow since the 
 lamented Lob’s demise, and done all and sundry of her odd jobs.— - 
 Risk, who is Yorkshire himself, confuses his countryman with a 
 round about direction back to the Bull and Mouth; makes off with 
 the bumpkin s bundle ; and, dressed in a bran new holyday suit ex- 
 tracted fron Lob’s luggage, dupes the dauber and the dotard, and 
 becomes k' of the barricades ' 
 
 Risk’s firs, exploit, after conquering the bolts and bars, is to mak 
 him'self known to the young lady. He, in vulgar parlance, tips h« 
 the wink, which very nearly discovers him. Totterton then sets hii*. 
 to colour-grinding ; and he splits the old fellow’s ea^s -(no wonder, 
 for the r-arish cjerk taught him to char t with his D>»chfork — with 
 
REMARKS. 
 
 the doleful ditty of Miss Bailey. He is pestered with innumerable 
 inquiries regarding his uncle’s friends of yore, all of whom he re- 
 morselessly kills one after the other. Davy Drone — he died at 
 eighty-four? No: at five in the morning! Figgins, the grocer, re- 
 nowned for his capital lump-sugar, and a dog that chucked a half- 
 penny olF his nose into his mouth whenever you said “nine?” — 
 Dead, too I And the dog? Dead! he eat a bad halfpenny I The 
 aeath-hunter, old Gruntlepool ? Buried last Christmas ! While the 
 reason given for this strange mortality (the introduction of three 
 more apothecaries into the village!) is not the least amusing. 
 
 But Vigil has a grand picture on the easel — Cressida giving her 
 glove to Troilus, on his quitting Troy for the Grecian camp, which 
 must be finished forthwith. Lydia, for a promised treat to the Ex- 
 hibition, consents to sit for the heroine j but Thwack, the bruiser, 
 having got drunk, he is at fault for a Troilus. A soldier oft’ duty, 
 one of Captain Beldare’s grenadiers, is hired as a substitute tor the 
 prize-fighter, and introduced into Mr. Vigil’s painting-room. His 
 arms are passed half way through the arm-holes of Troilus’s breast- 
 plate, which the ignoramus taking for handcuft's, and thinking he is 
 about to be robbed, he disentangles himself from the fancied b.lboes, 
 and stands on his guard. Risk, in the mea t time, has not been 
 idle: — a rope-ladder introduces the captain into the fortress of 
 beauty; and, after mutual surprises, explanations, and the arrival of 
 the true Solomon Lob, the graybeards are outwitted. 
 
 Risk was a trump-card in the hands of Mathews. In the song, 
 “ Oh, when my farm is taken,” he gave one of the earliest specimens 
 of his extraordinary volubility. His imitation of the miscellaneous 
 inhabitants of his fancied farm-vard was excellent 
 
 D. G. 
 
 STAGE DIRECTIONS. 
 
 The Conductors of this Work print no Plays but those which they 
 have seen acted. The Sta^e Directions are given from personal ol- 
 servations, during the most recent performances. 
 
 R. means Right; L. Left; C. Centre; R.C. Right of Centra: 
 L. C. Left of Centre; D. F. Door in the Flat, or Scene running acntss 
 the hack of the Stage; C.D.F. Centre Door in the Flat: R. D. F. 
 Right Door in the Flat ; L. D. F. Left Door in the Flat ; R. D. Right 
 Door: L. D. Left Door ; S.E. Second Entrance; U.E. Upper En- 
 trance ; C. D. Centre Door. 
 
 *** The Reader is supposed to be on the Stage, facing the Audience. 
 
ot tl^c CTJaractcrs, 
 
 As performed at the Theatres Royal, London. 
 
 Original. 
 
 Vigil - - - Mr. Denman. 
 
 Captain Beldare Mr. Elliston. 
 Risk - - - Mr. Mathews. 
 
 Totterton - - Mr. Grove. 
 Solomon Lob - Mr. De Camp. 
 Dub - - - - Mr. Hatton. 
 Lydia - - - Mrs. Atkins. 
 
 Scene 
 
 Drury Lane. 
 
 Covent Garden. 
 
 Mr. Gattie. 
 
 Mr. Blanchard. 
 
 Mr. Barnard. 
 
 Mr. Jones. 
 
 Mr. Harley. 
 
 Mr. Mathews. 
 
 Mr. Starmer. 
 
 Mr. Simmons. 
 
 Mr. Knight. 
 
 Mr. Emery. 
 
 Mr. Read. 
 
 Mr. Norris. 
 
 Miss Cubitt. 
 
 Miss Mathews. 
 
 London. 
 
 CTostume# 
 
 VIGIL. — Old man’s blue suit, with brass basket but ’ 
 tons — black George wig— whiie lamb’s-wool stockings— 
 shoes and buckles — old man’s hat. 
 
 CAPTAIN BELDARE. — First dress i Full dress uni- 
 form of the First Grenadier Guards. Second dress : Cos- 
 tume of a German Jew — black wig, beard, &c. 
 
 RISK. — First dress: Green livery jacket — white waist- 
 coat — leather breeches — top-boots — hat and cockade. 
 Second dress : Countryman’s holyday suit. 
 
 TOTTERTON. — Old man’s gray suit — gray hairs, &c. 
 
 SOLOMON LOB. — Countryman’s short smock-frock 
 — red waistcoat — leather breeches — blue striped stockings 
 — shoes and buckles — red wig, and countryman’s hat. 
 
 DUB. — Uniform of a Private of the First Grenadier 
 Guards 
 
 I<YDIA. — White muslin morning dress — blue sash, Ac# 
 
[Performance Free.] 
 
 LOVE. LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 SCENE I. — A Cross-way in London, whore several streets 
 intersect each other — Vigil's house, l. s. e., all the 
 windows of which have bars on the outside — immedU 
 ately over the door is an oval window, double grated, 
 and two-thirds of it bricked up — an hotel, r. s. e. 
 
 Bnter Captain Beldare from the hotel, r. s. e., during 
 the symphony of the following. 
 
 DUET. — Beldare and Risk. 
 
 Bel. Why, whereas the rascal ? — Risk I why, Risk I 
 Risk, [Within the hotel.'] I’m coming, captain. 
 
 Bel. Zounds ! be brisk ! 
 
 The laziest knave I ever saw 1 
 
 Enter Risk, gaping, from the hotel, r. s. e. 
 
 ’Tis day-light, puppy I 
 
 Risk, Yaw — aw — aw ! 
 
 Whither so fast, that thus you scare one 
 Bel. To court a sweet, bewitching fair one. 
 
 Sweet god of Love ! thee I implore ; 
 
 Grant me the nymph whom I adore ! 
 
 Risk, Sweet god of Sleep I thee I implore ; 
 
 Grant me a bed, and let me snore I 
 But, pray, who may the lady be t 
 Bel. Apelles might be proud to draw her. 
 
 Risk, Is she so comely, then, to see t 
 Bel. Upon my soul, I never saw her ! 
 
 Sweet god of Love, &c. 
 
 Risk. Sweet god of Sleep, &c. 
 
 Risk. Never saw her I — Lord, sir, you are mad I 
 Bel. Certainly, you blockhead I — Don’t I tell you I’m 
 in love ? 
 
 Risk, Why, yes ; but to be mad for love before you sea 
 
10 
 
 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. [aCT 1. 
 
 the woman ! — Bless us I ’tis like getting drunk at a ta- 
 vern, before the waiter has brought up a bottle ! 
 
 BeL Risk, come here. [^Pointing to Vigil's home.'\ 
 Look at that corner building. 
 
 Risk. What, with the bars outside all the windows ? 
 
 Bel. Aye ; what do you think of it ? 
 
 Risk. Think 1 — Hem ! — A sheriff’s officer’s ? 
 
 BeL ’Tis a celebrated painter’s. 
 
 Risk. And glazier’s ? 
 
 Bel. Psha ! an historical painter. 
 
 Risk. And you have just discovered the history, sir, of 
 his family } 
 
 Hi 1. Exactly so. He is a guardian, or rather tyrant, to 
 a young orphan, whom he locks up from the world, {Points 
 ing to the windows*'] in the manner you observe. 
 
 Risk, I said ’twas a lock-up house. 
 
 Bel, Listen. Although he lets nobody behold the ori- 
 ginal, many, I fancy, have seen the resemblance : for, in 
 all his works, (and they are pretty numerous here in Lon- 
 don) there is one peculiar character — one same beautiful 
 expression of a female face, ever to be observed. 
 
 Risk. Then you think, sir, that he takes her face for his 
 model } 
 
 Bel. Just so. Now what is your idea of me ? 
 
 Risk. [Bowing.] That you have face enough, sir, to 
 steal off with the prettiest face a painter ever had in his 
 cabinet. 
 
 Bel. I shall try how far it may serve me here ; but I 
 shall have occasion also for a countenance to assist me, 
 with a little more brass in it than 1 can boast. 
 
 Risk. [Bowing.] Dear sir, you are pleased to compli- 
 ment ; but command me. I need not tell Captain Bel- 
 dare, of the Grenadiers, that all the brass of his humble 
 servant. Risk, is no more than the captain’s own. And 
 now, pray, sir, how can my brass assist you ? 
 
 Bel. Get me into the house. 
 
 Risk. Knock at the door, sir, and sit for your picture. 
 
 Bel. Pooh! — He doesn’t paint portraits, I tell you ; 
 only history. 
 
 Risk. Um ! — What’s his name ? 
 
 Bel. Vigil. 
 
 Risk. Vigil ! — Oh, dear ! to the right about, captain! 
 Let’s be off directly 1 
 
 Bel. Why, do you know anything of him ? 
 
 Risk. Know him I — He’s notorio us J the most suspi 
 
SCENE I.] LOVE LAUGEIS AT LOCKSMITHS. 11 
 
 cious, lynx-eyed, peeping, peery, old pug of a painter in 
 Christendom ! 
 
 BeL [^Carelessly.'] No — is he, faith? I’m glad to 
 hear it. 
 
 Risk. Glad! 
 
 Bel. To be sure ; it gives a double zest to the enter- 
 prise, you booby I Faint heart never won fair lady. Be- 
 sides, she must hate old Vigil ; — and arn’t I independent 
 already, with large expectations from a rich uncle ? Arn’t 
 1 a captain of grenadiers, with the eclat of having lately 
 served against the enemy ? 
 
 Risk. Bravo, sir ! 1 believe it will do. 
 
 Bel. Do ! — To be sure it will. But till Mars calls me 
 once more abroad, I’ll serve under Cupid at home. This 
 is a fortress worth attacking ; and here I commence my 
 siege ! 
 
 Risk. But are you quite sure, sir, the lady will like to 
 be stormed ? 
 
 Bel. 1 think so. [Pointiny to the oval window.] Yes- 
 terday she sang an air from that grated window ; I re- 
 peated the burden ; she began again ; her voice trembled ; 
 she recommenced, faultered, repeated, sighed, re 
 
 Risk. Oh, the sweet little angel 1 Say no more, sir : 
 the castle is impregnable on this side ; but I’ll reconnoitre 
 on the other, and see where we can make a breach. I’ll 
 be back in a trice 1 
 
 [Exit at the hack of 'Vigil's house^ l. 3d e, 
 
 Bel. Now, if I could but for a moment catch her atten- 
 tion I [The notes of a harp are heard from Virgil's house.] 
 Hark 1 
 
 AIR. — Lydia. [Within the house.] 
 
 Hard is my lot, when youth is mine. 
 
 And joy should crown each rosy hour, 
 
 Re-enter Risk, l. 3d e. 
 
 Within these gloomy walls to pine. 
 
 Still fetter’d by a tyrant’s power I 
 Ye who pity maids like me, 
 
 This way bend, and set me free I 
 
 Bel. 6f Risk. He who pities maids like thee. 
 
 This way bends, to set you free \ 
 
 Risk. Bless her ! she sings like a new one ; and yoa 
 and 1 weren’t so much amiss, sir. 
 
 BeL Now, tell me, what have you discovered ? 
 
12 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. [aCT I. 
 
 Risk, A window at the back of the house without bars. 
 
 Bel. Without bars ! 
 
 Risk, Only one story high, and that lower than usual 
 from the ground. There’s only a green curtain on the 
 inside, to keep out the sun. 
 
 Bel. Vigil’s painting-room, depend on’t ! 
 
 Risk. It faces a bit of waste ground, to be let on a 
 building-lease, where nobody passes ; — so we may plant 
 our battery there, without fear of observation. 
 
 Bel. Excellent ! 
 
 Risk. And now, sir, if you succeed, do you mean to — 
 [A door opens, l. s. e. 
 
 Bel. Hush I the door opens ! 
 
 Enter Vigil and Totterton from the house — Vigil 
 double locks the door after him. 
 
 Risk. That must be old Vigil himself. 
 
 Bel. Av/ay ! away ! 
 
 {Exeunt Captain Beldare and Risk into the hotel, r.s.e. 
 
 Vigil. Totterton ! 
 
 Tot. Here am I, close at your heels. 
 
 Vigil. Who was that officer, gliding from us as we came 
 out ? 
 
 Tot. I can’t tell ; but he looks plaguy suspicious. 
 
 Vigil. Ay, ay ; another butterfly, 1 warrant, fluttering 
 about here till he singes his wings, like the rest of them. 
 
 Tot. Oh, let you alone for smelling them out ! — Bless 
 my soul, how you do nose them ! 
 
 Vigil. I can’t be too circumspect. Since my sister 
 died, and left Lydia, her bewitching little devil of a cou- 
 sin, under my care, I think, o’ my conscience, the whole 
 world has conspired to plague me. 
 
 Tot. Psha! ’tis love plagues you, — love for a green, 
 kicking, frisky Ally of seventeen I It will kill me. 
 
 Vigil* Kill you ! 
 
 Tot, Yes, it will. Have you not turned off all the ser- 
 vants, because you can trust nobody about her but myself? 
 Arn’t I, who was formerly only your colour-grinder, now 
 your Jack - of - all - trades ? — Arii’t I footman, porter, 
 steward, cook, housekeeper, butler, scullion, and groom 
 of the chambers ? 
 
 [Beldare and Risk appear listening at the balcony 
 of the hotel. 
 
 Bel. [Apart to Risk.'] Be attentive ; we may pick up 
 some information. 
 
LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS’. 13 
 
 Tot. Well, I must hobble olF now after Levi Kaiserman, 
 the Jew picture-dealer from Germany. 
 
 Bel. {A'part to Risk.'] Levi Kaiserman ! — Mark that. 
 
 Vigil. That’s right. He wrote me word by the last 
 post, that he should arrive yesternight in London. 
 
 Tot. Spread Eagle, Gracechurcli Street. 
 
 Vigil. Just so. Now, you’ll wait till he gets up, Tot- 
 terton, then bring him yourself to my painting-room. — 
 Yourself, remember : no mistakes, now ! 
 
 Tot. Mistakes ! — Psha ! I’m deep ; I haven’t made a 
 blunder these sixty years. {Going ^ r.] Levi Kaiserman! 
 \_Returning What sort of a man is he ? 
 
 Vigil. 1 never saw him. 
 
 Tot. Umph ! — What age ? 
 
 Vigil. Oh, not very young — about forty. 
 
 Tot. Forty ! — Why, that’s quite a boy. But we shall 
 De both from home at the same time. That’s mighty 
 wrong. Miss Lydia may 
 
 Vigil. No, no ; she’s in bed, and fast asleep. I knew 
 I should be obliged to go to Somerset House early to-day 
 to look at the effect of my new picture in the exhibition, 
 which is to open to-day ; — so, what do you think I did ? 
 
 Tot. What ? 
 
 Vigil. Kept her up, quarrelling, till five o’clock this 
 morning; so she’s tired out, and won’t wake till 1 come 
 back. {Laughing.] Ha, ha ! — Wise, wasn’t it ? 
 
 Tot. {Laughing.] Ha, ha ! — Why, you are as cunning 
 as 
 
 Vigil. I know what I am at. {A letter is seen descend- 
 ing against the wall from the oval window of VigiVs 
 house, attached to several ribands, knotted together like 
 the links in a chain.] Now, Totterton, you are a trusty 
 old fellow ; but what a pity it is that your extreme old age 
 disables you from serving me as much as 
 
 Tot. My extreme old age ! 
 
 Vigil. Yes; you are getting hard of hearing, and your 
 eye-sight grows weaker every day. {Here Totterton per- 
 ceives the letter.] For which reason, you know, my old 
 boy, I have sent for your nephew from Yorkshire to assist 
 us. He’s too great a bumpkin to fear anything from his — • 
 
 Tot. {Nettled.] And so my eye- sight gets weaker 
 every day ? 
 
 Vigil. Well, well ; I didn’t mean to affront you. 
 
 Tot. {Keeping his eye on the letter^ which is gradually 
 B 
 
14 
 
 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. FaCT I 
 
 descending.'] Why, to hear you talk, a body would thinic I 
 was deaf and blind. 
 
 Vigil. I didn’t exactly say that. 
 
 Tot. And you are the only person that sees every thing, 
 to be sure ! 
 
 Vigil. What do you mean ? 
 
 Tot. Yes, you are the only person ; you, who think that 
 your ward is fast asleep, while 
 
 Vigil. While what ? 
 
 Tot. While what! — Why, while she is sending letters, 
 post-free, by the first-floor mail I {Pointing to the letter^ 
 which is now about three feet from the ground.] Look’ee 
 there ! 
 
 Vigil. Zounds ! 
 
 Risk. {Apart to Captain Beldare.] Oh, the devil ! — - 
 Sir, that was for us I {They retire from the halcouy. 
 
 Tot. Now, who’s the blindest of us two, I should like 
 to know ? 
 
 Vigil. Hold your tongue ! — Let us untie it softly, and 
 she will think it has come to hand, just as she intended. 
 {Unfastening the letter.] For that rake-helly officer, I’il 
 lay my life ! How the plague she could have managed 
 from that window to But we shall see ! 
 
 {Breaks open the letter. 
 
 Re-enter Captain Beldare and Risk, stealing out of 
 the hotel, r. s. e. 
 
 Bel. {Apart to Let us listen. 
 
 {They cross cautiously to l. s. e.. and remain at a 
 short distance behind Vigil and Tot ter ion. 
 
 Vigil. {Coming forward, reading.] “ 'The interest you 
 appear to take in my fate, gives me courage to convey this 
 letter to you. I shall lower it by a chain of ribands, to 
 which you may tie your answer, and I can pull it up . — 
 {Captain Beldare pulls out his pocket-book, tears a leaf 
 from it, takes his pencil, and prepares to write.] — Let me 
 know your name . — {Captain Beldare writes.] — Your 
 name, and yom — ” ’Tis scrawled in pencil, and in such 
 a cursed hurry, 1 can hardly 
 
 Tot. {Putting on his spectacles, and reading over Vi- 
 gil's shoulder.] “ And your designs — ” 
 
 Vigil. Aye. {Reading.] “ Your designs, and v^hat I 
 have to hope. — {Captain Beldare writes again.] — I am 
 confined by the bolts and bars of — of — ” 
 
SCENE I.] LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. 15 
 
 Tot. [^Looking over his shoulder, and reading.'] “ Of 
 an old fool.'*' Ha ! ha ! — Come, now, that’s well enough. 
 
 Vigil. Well enough, you blockhead ! [Reading.] “ He 
 is a perfect Cerberus ; but I think he may be deceived.'^ 
 Aye, that remains to be proved. 
 
 Tot. Come, go on. 
 
 Vigil. [Reading.] “ My father died in the field of ho“ 
 nour ; I am seventeen years of age, with a fortune, and a 
 figure which, I think, is not despicable. I have a good 
 deal of giddiness, of which I forewarn you.'*'* That you 
 have, with a devil to it ! “ But an incessant fiow of spi- 
 
 rits, and, above all, a good heart ; which I offer, with my 
 hand, to him who will rescue me from my present bon- 
 dage. — Lydia.” 
 
 Bel. [Aside.] Charming girl ! 
 
 [Captain Beldare and Risk get nearer to Vigil and 
 Totterton, and listen with great anxiety. 
 
 Vigil, Now for the postscript. [Reading.] Every 
 morning these ribands may communicate our mutual 
 thoughts and plans ; tie your answer to them directly . — 
 [Captain Beldare gives the note he has written to Risk, 
 who ties it to the ribands.] — And give me a sign by — ” 
 Stay ! what’s this ? — Oh ! “ Give me a sign by clapping 
 
 your hands together only once, when I may draw it up, 
 without fear of discovery.'' Now there’s a Jezabel ! 
 
 [Remains pondering, with his eyes fixed on the letter. 
 
 Risk. [Apart to Captain Beldare.] ’Tis impossible to 
 give the signal, sir, without their hearing us. 
 
 Bel. [Apart.] Hush ! 
 
 Vigil, What the devil am I to do with this gipsy, Tot- 
 terton ? 
 
 Tot, Keep her close still — straw and a dark room. 
 
 Vigil. I couldn’t be so cruel to such a sweet creature, 
 Totterton. 
 
 Tot. I would. 
 
 Vigil. No, you wouldn’t ! 
 
 Tot. I would, and that’s flat ! 
 
 [He strikes his hands together sharply — Beldare' s 
 letter is instantly drawn up to the oval window, 
 and disappears. 
 
 Risk. [Apart.] She has it, sir — she has it ! 
 
 Bel. In ! in ! in I 
 
 [Exeunt Captain Beldare and Risk, hastily, into the 
 hotel, R. s. E. 
 
TiOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. 1. 
 
 Vigil» This must have been for that eves-dropping offi- 
 cer, who went into the hotel, and — [Looking round.'\ Eh i 
 egad ! she has drawn up the ribands, and thinks, I war- 
 rant, to find an answer at the end of them ! [Laughmg.'\ 
 Ha, ha, ha I — Oddsbobs ! I have bamboozled her finely 1 
 Totterton ! 
 
 Tot. Eh? 
 
 Vigil. Get you to Lydia’s apartment directly ; lock all 
 the doors, especially that which leads to the balcony ; and 
 keep sentry till I come back. 
 
 Tot. Then I mustn’t go after my nephew ? He’s at 
 the Bull and Mouth by this time — popped out o»f the York 
 flying- machine. 
 
 Vigil. Psha ! time enough for him. Besides, you know 
 he has our direction. Now, get in ; and don’t let a single 
 soul enter the house. 
 
 Tot. If Levi Kaiserman, the picture- dealer, should 
 call 
 
 Vigil. Don’t admit him — it may be a trick. Zounds I 
 why are you so dull? Not a creature except yourself 
 (particularly a male creature) shall be under my roof. 
 
 Tot. Well, well ; anything to please you. I’ll go and 
 chuck the tom-cat out of the garret-window. 
 
 [Exit into the house, l. s. e. 
 
 Vigil. And now, my gay blade of an officer, if you 
 choose to enter the lists with me, we’ll have a trial of skill, 
 that’s all ! But ’tis getting late ; I must be off to Somer- 
 set House. [Exit, l. 
 
 Enter Risk cautiously from the hotel, r. s. e. 
 
 Risk. [Looking after Vigil.~\ There he goes in the di- 
 rect road to the Strand. You may come out, sir. 
 
 Enter Captain Beldare, dressed as Levi Kaiserman, 
 a German Jew, from the hotel. 
 
 Bel. Having this masquerade dress by me was lucky. — 
 [Mimicking the Jewish dialect.'] Don’t you tinksh, now, 
 I looksh like de Shew, dat vash pring de choicesht pic- 
 tures from Yarmany ? 
 
 Risk. And do you think, sir, you can impose yourself 
 on him as Levi Kaiserman, the picture- dealer, whom he 
 expects from abroad ? 
 
 Bel. At least, I’ll attempt it. I’ll be before him at the 
 exhibition-room ; the porter there is an old servant of my 
 uncle’s, and will let me into the place where they are 
 
17 
 
 SCENE I.] LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. 
 
 hanging the pictures. Vigil shall find me poring in rap- 
 tures over one of his own productions ; then I’ll introduce 
 myself as Levi Kaiserman, and — But I lose time. Risk, 
 be vigilant I 
 
 [Going f hastily^ l., forgetting that he is in disguise. 
 Risk, But — sir ! sir ! that air and that dress will never 
 agree in the street. You’ll be discovered. 
 
 Bel, Zounds ! that’s true ; I had forgot, and should 
 have spoiled all. [Altering his gait and manner.'] You 
 shay mighty true : de Shew vash shtupid dog, dat vash not 
 know how to keep up his character. [Exity l. 
 
 Risk. And the Christian is a silly dog that runs mad for 
 a woman he never saw in his life. Am I a fool ? Hum i 
 I think not ! Then why do I aid and abet a madman ? — 
 Why, to bring grist to my mill. When I have made up a 
 purse. I’ll retire, take a farm, and marry a Pomona ; stick 
 pigs, stump in the mud, buy bullocks, swill ale, and bully 
 plough-boys ! 
 
 SONG.— Risk. 
 
 Oh ! when my farm is taken. 
 
 How delightful ’twill be o’er my acres to stump I 
 Then I’ll marry a dairy-maid, jolly and plump. 
 
 But she shan’t be as fat as my bacon. 
 
 I’ll hire a lout to wield the flail, — 
 
 Small beer shall serve the bumpkin ; 
 
 Whilst I, with guzzling home-brew’d ale, 
 
 Grow rounder than a pumpkin. 
 
 I’ll have hogs, dogs — cows, sows, 
 
 Turkies, ducks, and barley-mows ; 
 
 Harrows, ganders, bullocks, ploughs ; 
 
 And I’ll dazzle the country gabies. 
 
 I’ll get a bull. I’ll get a cart, — 
 
 I’ll get the Farmer’s Guide by heart, 
 
 And I’ll get a dozen babies ! 
 
 Then I’ll pet my dogs. 
 
 I’ll fat my hogs ; 
 
 I’ll milk my cows, 
 
 I’ll salt my sows ; 
 
 I’ll run my rigs. 
 
 I’ll stick my pigs ; 
 
 I’ll roast my lambs. 
 
 I’ll mend my dams ; 
 
 B 3 
 
JS 
 
 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKS3IITHS. [aCT 1. 
 
 I’ll whet my knife, 
 
 I’ll kill my sheep ; 
 
 I’ll kiss my wife, 
 
 I’ll go to sleep, — 
 
 All when my farm is taken 1 
 
 I’ll drink just double each Saturday night. 
 
 Sitting up, with my spouse, by candle-light,*-— 
 
 For I need not rise early on Sunday. 
 
 Then I’ll prate to my lovee of clover and barns. 
 
 While the dear little children’s stockings she dams. 
 
 That must go to the wash on Monday. 
 
 On Sunday to church — beef and pudding at one ; 
 
 Then, the evening to spend, 
 
 I’ll get drunk with a friend. 
 
 Keel to bed, and on Monday be up with the sun. 
 
 But, on Monday, my bed forsaking. 
 
 Oh ! how my nob will be aching ! 
 
 With my eyes, stiff and red. 
 
 Sunk deep in my head, 
 
 I shall look as old as Methusalem ! 
 
 Whilst the curs’d noises round me 
 Will so confound me, 
 
 I shall wish the farm at Jerusalem ! 
 
 For there the pigs will be squeaking. 
 
 The waggon-wheels creaking ; 
 
 Ducks quacking. 
 
 Cart-whips cracking ; 
 
 Turkies gobbling. 
 
 Carters squabbling ; 
 
 Rooks cawing, 
 
 Ploughboys jawing ; 
 
 Horses neighing, 
 
 Donkies braying ; 
 
 Cocks crowing. 
 
 Oxen lowing ; 
 
 Dogs bark, — 
 
 Noah’s ark ! 
 
 Gobble, wobble — weke — caw, caw ! 
 
 Grunt — bow, wow — quack — moo — ee — aw 1 
 All when my farm is taken. 
 
 [Ea^it into the hotels r. s. e. 
 
 Enter Vigil and Captain Beldare, (as the Jew) l. 
 Vigil, (r. c.) Our meeting in the exhibition-room was 
 very fortunate indeed, Mr. Kaiserman. 
 
19 
 
 SCENE II.] LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSiMITHS. 
 
 Bel. (l.) Yesh, it vash fall out mighty lucky-. 
 
 Vigil. I am vastly happy to be personally known to you 
 i last. ’Tis to your good offices, you know, Mr. Keiser- 
 ir,an, that I owe the success of my pictures in Germany. 
 
 Bel. No such ting, as I hope to be shaved; but you are 
 sho modesht ! Ah ! dat ish sho like de great genius to be 
 modesht ! Plesh ma soul I vat a sharming piece you vas 
 shend to de exhibition dish morning ! 
 
 Vigil. What, my Danae I thought it seeineu to 
 strike you. 
 
 Bel. I declare I vash ravished ! de execution vash sho 
 
 capital — de colouring sho chaste — de But vereabouts 
 
 ish your house ? 
 
 Vigil. Oh, here, hard by. Didn’t you like that effect 
 in stretching out the arms } Something uncommon to our 
 school of painting there — eh ? 
 
 Bel. Vashtly uncommon ; it ish sho natural. 
 
 Vigil. And were you pleased with my blue cloud ? 
 
 Bel. Pleashed ! — I protesht, if it had been black, I 
 should have hoishted my umbrella. Den de shower of 
 gold — oh, dat ish fine ! 
 
 Vigil. I was sure you approved of the shower of gold. 
 [Aside.] I don’t know a Jew that wouldn’t. 
 
 Bel. Come, take me in mit you to your home ; ve can’t 
 talk so vel upon de shtreet. 
 
 Vigil. [Going towards his houses and returning.] Well, 
 well. By the bye, how did you contrive to get admitted 
 so early at Somerset House ? 
 
 Bel. I vash a foreign artisht, you know. 
 
 Vigil. Oh, true. 
 
 Bel. Sho, I vash curious to shee de English school, 
 
 and But come into your housh, and show me your 
 
 worksh. 
 
 Vigil. [Aside.] He is devilish pressing to get in ; I 
 don’t half like it ! 
 
 Bel, [Aside.] He hesitates ! 
 
 Vigil. [Aside.] Zounds ! if this should not be Levi 
 Kaiserman, after all ! I’ll sound him. [Aloud.] You 
 made an excellent bargain for me abroad, in the sale of my 
 Cassandra. 
 
 Bel. [Aside.] Oh, curse Cassandra I [Aloud.] Yesh, 
 dat vash a mashter-piece. 
 
 Vigil. The purchaser, I think, was — was — Psha ! I 
 can’t tell his name now, for the soul of me ! 
 
 Bel. [Aside.] Upon my soul, no more can I ! 
 
20 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. [aCT I. 
 
 Vigil. Wasn’t it the grand duke of — of — 
 
 Bel. Of Bavaria. 
 
 Vigil. Aye — the Duke of Bavaria. And to whom did I 
 sell my Proserpine ? 
 
 Bel. Oh, Proserpine ! I vash shell her to de archbishop 
 of Cologne. 
 
 Vigil. No ! come, come ! not to him, neither. 
 
 Bel. [^Disconcerted.'] Eh* ! vy not ? 
 
 Vigil. Why, she was without drapery ; and, to an arch- 
 bishop ! Pooh ! hang it ! you’re joking. 
 
 Bel. [Aside.] Oh, the devil ! [Aloud.] His eminence 
 vash scruple at first ; but de painting vash sho entishing, 
 he couldn’t reshist. 
 
 Vigil. And what did he give ? 
 
 Bel. Ten thousand florins. 
 
 Vigil. Which you have brought for me ? 
 
 Bel. No ; payable at four months. Oh, you need not 
 be alarmed. ’Tish as good as de bank. 
 
 Vigil. Oh, I’m not uneasy. And now, Mr. — hem ! 
 Mr. Kaiserman, let me ask your opinion of a picture I have 
 in my head. 
 
 Bel. Vatishit? 
 
 Vigil. It consists of two figures. The first is an old 
 painter, quick and cunning ; a sly fox of some fifty, who 
 is reported to secure a young beauty under lock and key, 
 whose features serve him as a model in his works. Here 
 he stands. 
 
 Bel. [Aside.] What does he drive at ? 
 
 Vigil. The second figure is a gay stripling, with a plaguy 
 air of intrigue. I have the model of him, too. Now, the 
 younker, to humbug the artist, takes the disguise of a Jew 
 picture-dealer ; but the old boy, accustomed to make green- 
 horns betray themselves, talks to him of a Cassandra he 
 never sketched, and a Proserpine he never painted. How 
 do you like the subject ? 
 
 P^l. [Aside.] I wish it were upon canvass, and you 
 v?.re obliged to eat it for breakfast ! 
 
 Vigil. [Knocking at his door.] Well, now, upon my 
 word you did it very well. [Mimicking.] I declare I vash 
 ravished ! de execution vash sho capital I 
 
 Bel. Zounds, sir! I 
 
 Vigil. Nay, nay, don’t be mortified ; for you deceived 
 even me, at first ; and so I’ll give you a piece of advice 
 never appear too eager to get into the house, for that dis- 
 covers you ; and pray — pray, for the sake of decorum, when 
 
SCENE I.] LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. 21 
 
 you have another Proserpine to dispose of, don't “ shell 
 her to de Archbishop of Cologne.” S^Exit into his house. 
 
 Enter Risk from the hotel. 
 
 Risk. Well, sir, how goes on the war? 
 
 Bel. [Pulling off his false beard and wig.^ Counter- 
 mined, and blown to the devil ! 
 
 Risk. I told you how it would be, sir. We had better 
 raise the siege at once. 
 
 Bel. Hang it ! 1 don’t like beating a retreat. Lydia, I am 
 sure, must be charming. [They retire up. 
 
 Enter Solomon Lob, l. u. e., with a canvass travelling 
 
 sack at his back, two letters in his hand, and a couple 
 
 of small bundles under his arm. 
 
 Lob. [Coming forward, l.] I’se sure this Lunnun town’s 
 a hugeous pleace 1 aye, and a bonny pleace, too 1 How the 
 streets, somehow, do grow out o’ yan another ! 
 
 Bel. After her letter, and my answer, it would be paltry, 
 unmanly, to abandon her. I’m determined to get into the 
 house ; but how to find my way 
 
 Lob. Wauns, zur I I wish you’d be so kind to put me into 
 mine, loike ; for I’se lost it outright, I’se sure. 
 
 Bel. Psha 1 go to the devil ! 
 
 Lob. I isn’t a Lunnuner, zur ! I doan’tknow that road. 
 
 Risk. [Crossing to c.] What’s the name of the street 
 you want to find ? 
 
 Lob. Neame ? Why, my uncle’s master’s. 
 
 Risk. And who is your uncle’s master ? 
 
 Lob. [Laughing. '\ He I he ! 1 thought every fool P 
 
 Lunnun know’d he. Mr. Vigil, the noted limner. 
 
 Bel. Mr. Vigil 1 
 
 Lob. Aye ; I ax’d for un, as I coom’d alang, at sign 
 o’ Green Man. I thought he might ha’ painted it. 
 
 Bel. And what do you want with Mr. Vigil, friend ? 
 
 Lob. What do 1 want ? What do I want wi’ my own 
 uncle, there, who do grind all his stuff for un, to make 
 sham men and women ? 
 
 Risk. [Aside.'] Here’s a discovery, sir ! 
 
 Lob. Uncle being old, and stupid gone, and a bit fond- 
 ish, he sent for me fra’ Tadcaster to help his wits, and 
 gi’ un condolation ; for I be counted to have more parts 
 nor all our family tied up in a bunch. 
 
 Bel. Tadcaster, in Yorkshire.'* 
 
 Lob. Aye ; neighbours of our toun calls I the Genus. 
 
22 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKS3IITHS. [aCT I 
 
 Risk. \^Aside.‘\ And a precious queer genus you are I 
 
 Bel. What’s your name, friend ? 
 
 Lob. Solomon Lob, zur. 
 
 Bel. \ Affecting to start. 1 Is it possible ? 
 
 Lob. Doan’t he jump ; but I is Solomon ; I’s sure lisl 
 Wauns ! now, wha knows but thou is Mr. Vigil his sen’ ? 
 
 Bel. I am the very man ! 
 
 Lob. Well, dang me, somehow, if I didn’t think so ! I 
 be noted, as our parson do say, for guessing at volks in- 
 stinkingly. Well, zur, and how be uncle Totterton ? — 
 Ods flesh ! I han’t ha’ seen un sin I first went to plough. 
 
 Risk. Your uncle — hem ! — your uncle is just gone out ; 
 but we expect him home directly. 
 
 Lob. Dost thee know uncle, too ? 
 
 Risk. Yes ; 1, like him, am Mr. Vigil’s domestic. 
 
 Lob. A dumb stick ? 
 
 Risk. Aye ; your uncle’s fellow-servant. 
 
 Lob. Be you, indeed ! [To Beldare.'] Oh, zur, I ha’ sum- 
 mut for you in this here little bit bag. 
 
 [Takes a small bag from his pockety and gives it to Beldare, 
 
 Bel. What’s in it ? 
 
 Lob. Golden guineas, by gum ! Parson ha’ sent ’em 
 for the picture you painted for our church. [Giving a 
 letter.'] Here be his letter to ’ee, zur, explaining the rights 
 on’t. 
 
 Bel. [Reading the superscription.] Yes, yes ; I see ’tis 
 for me. 
 
 Lob. Parson be getting on i’ th’ world, I assure ye, zur. 
 
 Bel. I’m happy to hear it. 
 
 Lob. He married his sister last week, zur, to our rich 
 humpbacked letter-carrier ; and, considering miss ware 
 nigh fifty, and bandy, ’tware reckoned a tightish match. 
 
 Bel. And what’s that other letter in your hand ? 
 
 Lob. For uncle Totterton. [Giving it.] Look at un, 
 zur. It do come from his loving sister, Margery, my mo- 
 ther, zur. Robin Rawbones, our blacksmith, wrote un 
 for her. Sin father died, Robin ha’ been main comfortable 
 to mother, and ha’ done most of her odd jobs. 
 
 Bel. [Aside.] His sister, Margery ! Robin Rawbones ! 
 [Looking significantly at Aye, Totterton has men- 
 
 tioned them to me very often. I’ll give this to your uncle 
 myself. [Apart to Risk.] Let us get him away. 
 
 Lob. [Taking up the bundles ^ which he has put on the 
 ground.] I do suppose I be to go in now, zur, and bide in 
 your house. 
 
SCENE I.] LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKS31ITHS. 23 
 
 BeL To be sure. [^Apart to Bisk.'] How shall we f arry 
 that ? 
 
 Risk. [Helping Lob with the bundles.'] Zounds, fellow 
 servant ! what a deal of luggage you have brought up to 
 London ! 
 
 Lob. Pooh ! this be nowt, muii. Mother ha’ sent I up 
 well rigged. I ha’ left portmantle, wi’ all my best clothes, 
 at Bull and Mouth, where we put up, wi’ the coach. 
 
 Risk. At the Bull and Mouth ? Why, you’ll be plun- 
 dered ! 
 
 Lob. [Frightened.] Why ! wauns, mun, ben’t ’em 
 
 safe ? 
 
 Risk. Safe ! Run back ready to break your neck, or 
 you’ll never see ’em again. 
 
 Lob. I wool. Oh, lord! mother told I this ware a trick- 
 ing town, sure enow ! Which way mun I 
 
 Bel. When you come back, look ye ! [Pointing to the 
 hotel.] that is my house. You’ll be sure to remember it. 
 
 Lob. Aye, zur. Which is ’t way? Oh, my poor port- 
 mantle ! 
 
 Risk. Down this street — then to your right — then to 
 your left — through Pimlico, into Holborn ; turn short out 
 of Pall-Mall into Finsbury Square — then anybody will 
 direct you. Run I 
 
 Lob. Wauns ! it be hard to find. 
 
 Risk. Quick ! quick ! 
 
 Lob. I wool. First turn to the — oh, dear ! — Pall-Mall 
 Square, and — oh, my poor portmantle 1 
 
 [Exit, running, l. s. e., haring his bundles. 
 
 Bel. Now, Risk, be active. 
 
 Risk. I know what to do, sir. Here’s a suit of the bump- 
 kin’s in the bundle; I’ll help myself on with it, and that 
 shall help me into Vigil’s house in a minute. 
 
 Bel. Here, take the letters and the money ; they will be 
 your credentials. But can you speak the dialect ? 
 
 Risk. Never fear. I’m Yorkshire myself, sir. 
 
 Bel. Indeed ! 
 
 Risk. Lord, sir, you might have known that by my mo- 
 desty I 
 
 Bel. But, despatch ; get in doors, and prepare yourself. 
 [Throwing off his disguise.] In the mean time. I’ll keep 
 watch here for honest Solomon ; and when he returns, I’ll 
 take him into our hotel, as Vigil’s residence. 
 
 Risk. And when I am really in Mr. Vigil’s, sir, do you 
 take your post at the back of the house — the weakest part 
 
1^4 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKS^IITHS. [aCT 1. 
 
 of the fortress which I have discovered, and wait for my 
 signal for getting you into the citadel. Now for it ! In 
 three minutes I’ll be Solomon Lob. [Exit into the hotel, 
 
 Bel. Once more, victory leans on my side. And now, 
 Master Vigil, spite of all your cunning. I’ll prove that 
 youth and love will always get the better of age and cau- 
 tion. Zounds! here he comes again. If the bumpkin re- 
 turns before Risk is ready, we are undone I [Retires up. 
 
 Enter Vigil and Totterton from the house, l. s. e. 
 
 Vigil. Time enough ; ’tis but a little after ten, now, I 
 tell you. 
 
 Tot. But my nephew must have been waiting these two 
 hours. I must make haste, and — [Going.^ Eh! why, 
 there’s that officer skulking about still I 
 
 Bel [Coming forward, r.] Your servant, sir. I am 
 still here, you see ; but don’t be alarmed. 
 
 Vigil, (c.) Oh, no ! [Laughing. '\ Ha ! ha ! I’m not so 
 easily frightened. 
 
 Bel. I couldn’t leave the field without paying all due 
 homage to the conqueror. 
 
 Vigil. Ha ! — Then I have no longer the honour, I sup- 
 pose, of talking to Mr. Kaiserman t 
 
 Bel. No, sir ; you are talking to Frederick Beldare, cap- 
 tain of grenadiers, and nephew to General Thunder. 
 
 Vigil. Frederick Beldare I 
 
 Bel. Yes, sir; who will never cease to proclaim your 
 consummate valour in forcing him to capitulate. But come, 
 Mr. Vigil, after a stubborn engagement, the heroes on either 
 side ought to shake hands. You have no resentment, 1 
 hope. 
 
 Vigil. None in the world. Why, sir, you have rendered 
 me famous and secure for ever. Nobody, now, will dare 
 to attack the man, who has defeated the brave Frederick 
 Beldare, captain of grenadiers, and nephew to General 
 Thunder ! 
 
 Bel. [Aside.'\ Oh, curse your sneering ! Why, where 
 can Risk be all this time ? 
 
 Enter Risk from the hotel, dressed as Solomon Lob, and 
 going up r. 
 
 Oh, yonder he goes, [Aloud.'] You say right, Mr. Vigil. 
 I’ll never measure swords again with an enemy so much 
 my superior in knowledge ; and thus I quit the field of 
 bv.ttle. [Exit into the hotels 
 
SCENE I.] LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMI 
 
 Vigil, And that’s the last time I hope to see the 
 nephew of the great General Thunder. 
 
 FINALE. — Captain Beldare, Risk, Vigil, and 
 Totterton. 
 
 Risk, [Advancing y c., and hawing to Vigil and Totterton.'] 
 Your pardon, good gentlefolks, pray ; 
 
 I am strange, loike, in Lunnum, and I should be 
 glad. 
 
 If you’d just be so kind to a poor country lad, 
 
 As to larn un to find out his way. 
 
 Bel, [Appearing in the balcony of the hotel — aside.] 
 
 I’ll listen. 
 
 Vigil, Friend — 
 
 Risk, Ees ! 
 
 Vigil. Let me know 
 
 The street to which you want to go. 
 
 Risk. [Giving a letter.] This letter, zur, will ^artify. 
 Vigil. [Reading.] “ To Mr. Vigil.'' ’Sbud I ’tis 1 1 
 Risk, What, you ? 
 
 Vigil. Yes, I ! 
 
 Risk. Wauns ! here’s a frisk ! 
 
 Tot. Why, here’s a frisk ! 
 
 Risk. Wauns ! here’s a frisk ! 
 
 Bel. [Asidey in the balcony.] Oh ! bravo — bravo, Risk ! 
 
 [Vigil opens and reads the letter. 
 Tot. Solomon Lob, or I’m mistaken. 
 
 Risk, That’s I, as sure as bacon’s bacon. 
 
 Tot. Why, nephew 1 
 
 Risk, Uncle ! 
 
 Both. Is it you ? 
 
 Risk, Ees. 
 
 Tot. Yes. 
 
 Both, Lord love you ! how d’ye do ^ 
 
 [They embrace,, 
 
 Vigil, [Having read the letter.] 
 
 The parson’s letter’s right ; but where 
 Is all the money that he sends ? 
 
 Risk, [Giving Vigil a purse.] 
 
 Here, sir. And, uncle, mother, there. 
 
 Has sent you news of all our friends. 
 
 [Gives Totterton a letter * 
 Bel. ^ Risk. [Aside.] The gudgeons bite already; 
 
 They swallow ev’ry lie 1 
 c 
 
2G 
 
 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. 
 
 Viyil ^ Tot. 
 
 An honest lad, and steady ! 
 
 Enter Solomon Lob, l. u. e. 
 
 Lob. I ha’ got my portmantle again, 
 
 By gum, without any resistance. 
 
 Bel. Contusion ! we’re ruin’d, that’s plain ; 
 
 For the bumpkin appears at a distance. 
 
 This way~this way ! [Beckoning Solomon. 
 
 Lob. Ees, I’ll come ; 
 
 I knows the house — I’se not a dunce. 
 
 Risk. [Observing Beldare and Solomon.'\ 
 
 Uncle, shan’t us now go home? 
 
 Vigil S( Tot. Yes, my lad, come in at once. 
 
 [Exit Solomon Lob into the hotel. 
 Bel. Sf Risk. Huzza! we’re in safety once more ! 
 
 Our triumph will soon be complete. 
 
 Vigil Sf Tot. Come in, my lad — this is the door ; 
 
 [To Risk.'] We have talk’d long enough in the street. 
 
 Follow us ; we’ll lead the way. 
 
 Risk. Ees, I’ll come. 
 
 Bel. Hussza I huzza ! 
 
 [Exeunty Vigily Totterton, and Risky into VigiVs 
 house — Captain Beldare into the hotel. 
 
 END OF ACT I. 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 SCENE I. — VigiVs Painting-Room — busts and pictures 
 in different partSy some finishedy and some unfinished — 
 among the resty is a picture on an easely in an unfi- 
 nished statey representing figures as large as life — a 
 large window y c. f., the bottom part of which is shaded 
 by a green curtain — a iablCy with a large portfolio on 
 ity R. — a marble slaby on a pedestaly whereon to grind 
 colourSy L. 
 
 Enter Lydia and Vigil, r. 
 
 Lydia. I shall not sit as a model for any of your pic- 
 tures to-day, sir. 
 
 Vigil. Now, was ever anything so perverse? Why, 
 
SCENE I.] LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. 27 
 
 Lydia, why do you always take such a pleasure in thwart- 
 ing my wishes ? 
 
 Lydia. Only as a suitable return, sir, for your always 
 thwarting mine. 
 
 Vigil. You are to remember, madam, that I have taken 
 upon myself the care of your conduct and education. 
 
 Lydia. That’s as much as to say, you have taken upon 
 yourself the privilege of tormenting me from morning to 
 night. 
 
 Vigil. And dare you tell me to my face that— 
 
 Lydia. Sir, I dare tell you, that the death of my father 
 should make me free ; that, in confiding me to the affec- 
 tionate care of your sister, whose memory I shall always 
 cherish, he never meant to expose me to your tyranny ; — 
 in one word, that immuring me here, as your slave, is 
 usurping the rights of nature, and abusing one of the most 
 sacred trusts. And now, sir, as you have often complained 
 of my giddiness, [Laughing.'\ you see I have been serious 
 for the first time. 
 
 Vigil. Charming spirits you a e in to-day, indeed 1 — 
 And the best receipt for high spirits, I perceive, is a love- 
 letter, dangling at the end of a parcel of ribands. 
 
 •Jjydia. What do you mean, sir ? 
 
 Vigil. It has come to hand, but not exactly as you in- 
 tended. [^Taking a letter from his pocket, and unfolding 
 it.'] Here it is ! 
 
 Lydia. [Endeavouring to take it from him.] Dear ! I 
 can’t conceive how you 
 
 Vigil. How I came by it I But nothing escapes me, 
 you see. 
 
 Lydia. [Smiling.] Then, it seems, you have got my 
 letter ! 
 
 Vigil. And pray, good madam, how will you clear up 
 this subject to me ? 
 
 Lydia. Very easily. [Showing Captain Beldare's letter.] 
 Here’s the answer to it. 
 
 Vigil. [Attempting to snatch it.] The answer ! 
 
 Lydia. Softly, sir — softly, if you please ! You treasu! e 
 your letter, and I mine, you know. [Reading.] “/ am 
 called Frederick Beldare, a captain of grenadiers, and 
 nephew of a gallant general. My love for you is most ar- 
 dent, and I swear to unite my destiny to yours.'' Now 
 that’s open and honourable — isn’t it, sir? 
 
 Vigil. [Looking over her shoulder, and reading.] “ / 
 cannot explain myself further, as I write th\s absolutely 
 c 2 
 
28 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. [aCT II. 
 
 in the presence of your Argos J*' Zounds ! in my pre- 
 sence ! When ? where ? how ? 
 
 Lydia, [Reading.’] “ In the open street ^ behind his 
 back, but close at his elbow." 
 
 Vigil. Oh, the devil ! 
 
 Lydia. [Reading.] "And this, I trust, will not be the 
 only time I shall make a fool of him." Then you were 
 by — on the very spot ? 
 
 Vigil. Yes, yes ; zounds ! I was, sure enough ! 
 
 [Goes to the painting on an easel, 
 
 Lydia. [Laughing.] Ha, ha, ha ! I am positively in 
 love with him for his cleverness ! and I dare say he is 
 very handsome. 
 
 Vigil. Lydia, I— 
 
 Lydia. Come, you are famous for catching a likeness ; 
 and as you have the brush in your hand, do now paint me 
 his picture. 
 
 Vigil. [Throwing the brush away.] Confound the 
 brush, Beldare, pen, ink, paper, and all riband-weavers ! 
 
 Enter Totterton and Risk, l. — Risk carrying Solomon 
 Lob's cloak-bag. 
 
 Tot. Put it down there, my boy — ^under that table. 
 
 [Risk puts down the bag, and affects extreme awk- 
 wardness. 
 
 Lydia. So, this is the pkecious nephew we have so long 
 expected I 
 
 Risk. Aye, madam, I’s Solomon Lob ; you’ll foind me 
 varry handy about t’ house. When I was at whoam i’ th’ 
 country, I always helped mother to make her hog’s pud- 
 dings. 
 
 Tot. The lad has talents. 
 
 Risk. Zo, I be corn’d fra Tadcaster to look a’ ter you, 
 and to mind measter’s orders. 
 
 Vigil. That’s a good lad ; always mind my orders. 
 
 Lydia. [To Vigil.] Not content, then, with your own 
 and Totterton’ s teasing, 1 am to have the additional plague 
 of being watched by this booby. 
 
 Risk. Booby ! — Wauns, madam I you’ll find I another 
 guess sort of a person from what you do think. 
 
 Vigil. [At the easel, painting.] Totterton 1 
 
 Tot. Sir. 
 
 Vigil. I want some black. 
 
 Tot. I’ll grind it directly. 
 
 Risk. I’ll do’t for ye, raun. 
 
SCENE I.] LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSiMITHS. 29 
 
 [He crosses towards Lydia^ who is re-perusing the 
 letter from Beldare — he coughs, and makes signs to 
 her — she remains with her eyes fixed on the Letter, 
 
 Vigil. [To Totterton.'] Where's Sampson Thwack, the 
 bruiser, to-day, that he doesn’t come to me, as a model ? 
 
 Tot. Sick in bed ; he was up late last night at the Cat 
 and Bagpipes. 
 
 Vigil. A drunken rascal ! 
 
 Lydia. [Taking her eyes from the letter, and observing 
 Bisk.'] Why, I declare the blockhead is winking at me i 
 
 Vigil. [Starting up.'] What ! 
 
 Tot. [To Risk.] Mercy on us ! — Why, Solomon, are 
 you mad ? 
 
 Risk. [Rubbing his eye.] E’en a’ most, fegs ! A plaguy 
 gnat ha’ gotten i’ my left eye, and nigh blinded me. 
 
 Tot. Oh, was that it ? 
 
 Vigil. [Laughing.] Ha, ha, ha 1 poor fellow! — No, 
 no ; he doesn’t look like one of the winking sort, not he I 
 [To Totterton.] Then 1 have no hopes of seeing Thwack 
 to-day ? 
 
 Tot. No. 
 
 Vigil. The scoundrel has got drunk on purpose to vex 
 me ! Two hours’ sitting would be enough ; and the pic- 
 ture must be shipped for Russia this evening ! You, too. 
 Madam Lydia — I’m obliged to you for it — won’t let me 
 take advantage of your features to finish my work. — 
 Zounds ! 1 believe the whole world conspires to smother 
 my efforts, and ruin me in my profession ! 
 
 [He deranges his painting apparatus, peevishly, and 
 throws himself into an arm-chair — Totterton has 
 taken Risk to the marble slab, l., on which the co- 
 lours are placed, and appears to be teaching him 
 to grind them. 
 
 Lydia. Come, you shan’t say I have hurt you in your 
 profession : I will sit to you. 
 
 Vigil. [Rising.] Will you ? Come, now, that’s kind ! 
 
 Lydia. But, remember, ’tis on one condition. 
 
 Vigil. And what’s that } 
 
 Tot. [To Risk, who is grinding colours, and at the 
 same time watching Lydia.] There, work away, and I’ll 
 be with you again presently. [Exit, r. 
 
 Lydia. Why, the condition is, that I go to the exhibi- 
 tion to-morrow. 
 
 Vigil. What ! to meet that infernal captain of grena- 
 c 3 
 
30 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. [aCT II. 
 
 diers ? Zounds, madam ! and do you think I’ll be such 
 a dupe ? 
 
 Lydia. Just as you please. No exhibition for me to- 
 morrow, no sitting for you to-day — that’s all ! 
 
 Vigil. And have you the assurance to 
 
 Lydia. Oh, if you are getting into a passion, I shall re- 
 tire to my chamber. r 
 
 Viyil. Nay, but, Lydia 
 
 AIR. — Lydia. 
 
 A guardian there was, and a crab was he, 
 
 Fal de ral, de ral, lal, la! 
 
 He kept his ward under lock and key, 
 
 Fal de ral, de ral, lal, la ! 
 
 He tried to plague her all the day. 
 
 But she danc’d and sang the hours away. 
 
 Fal, lal, lal, &c. 
 
 She laugh’d at this crab as long as she could, 
 
 Fal de ral, &c. 
 
 For fretting never does us good, 
 
 Fal de ral, &c. 
 
 But he grew more teasing ev’ry day, 
 
 So she took to her heels, and ran away. 
 
 Fal, lal, lal, &c. [Exity r. 
 
 Vigil. {Calling after heri\ Nay, Lydia I Lydia ! 
 
 {Exity R. 
 
 Tluk. {Coming from the marble slab."] So 1 the sly 
 hound has lost the scent. Now to see if my master is 
 watching at the back of the house. {Goes to the window y 
 c. F., lifts up the green curtaiuy and looks out.'] No, not 
 come yet. How deuced pretty Vigil’s ward is I But, a 
 little wild devil ! she had near discovered me to the guar- 
 dian. That stupid dotard, Totterton, too, asks me so 
 
 manv questions about Tadcaster and his family, that 
 
 Stay ! he’s within hearing, for he’s toddling in and out 
 every minute. I’ll bawl out a Yorkshire ditty, that shall 
 split the old fellow’s ears. 
 
 {Goes to the marble slaby and sings while he is grind- 
 ing the colours. 
 
 SONG.— Risk. 
 
 Tune — Ally Crokery 
 
 A captain bold in Halifax, that dwelt in country qvarters. 
 Seduc’d a maid, who hang’d herself one morning in her 
 
 garters : 
 
PCENE I.] LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS, 31 
 
 His wicked conscience smited him, he lost his stomach 
 daily ; 
 
 He took to drinking ratifa, and thought upon Miss Bailey. 
 
 Oh, Miss Bailey ! unfortunate Miss Bailey ! 
 
 One night betimes he went to rest, for he had caught a 
 fever ; 
 
 Says he, “ I am a handsome man, but I’m a gay deceiver.” 
 His candle, just at twelve o’clock, began to burn quite 
 palely, — 
 
 A ghost stepp’d up to his bed-side, and said, “ Behold 
 Miss Bailey!” Oh, Miss Bailey, &,c. 
 
 “ Avaunt, Miss Bailey !” then he cried ; “ your face looks 
 white and mealy.” 
 
 Dear Captain Smith,” the ghost replied, “ you’ve used 
 me ungenteelly : 
 
 The crowner’s ’quest goes hard with me, because I’ve acted 
 frailly, 
 
 And Parson Biggs won’t bury me, though I am dead Miss 
 Bailey !” Oh, Miss Bailey, &,c. 
 
 “ Dear corpse,” says he, “ since you and I accounts must 
 once for all close, 
 
 I’ve got a one pound note in my regimental small-clothes ; 
 ’Twill bribe the sexton for your grave.” The ghost then 
 vanish’d gaily. 
 
 Crying, “ Bless you, wicked Captain Smith ! remember 
 poor Miss Bailey !” Oh, Miss Bailey, &c. 
 
 Enter Totterton, with a hox of colourSy r. 
 
 Tot. Adsbobs ! well sung I I didn’t think, boy, you 
 had such a voice. 
 
 Risk. The clerk of our parish lamed I to chant, wi’ his 
 pitchforl^. 
 
 Tot. What, old Davy Drone, of Tadcaster ? 
 
 Risk. Ees. 
 
 Tot. Aha 1 why, he’s one of my oldest friends. And 
 how is he } 
 
 Risk. \_Aside.'] Oh, zounds ! I must kill all his old 
 friends, or he’ll ask questions about ’em for ever. {Alond.^ 
 He be dead. 
 
 Tot. Davy Drone dead ! — Bless us ! and your mother 
 not to write me word I Ah ! he must have been old — I 
 think about Didn’t he die at eighty-four ? 
 
 Risk, Noa ; at five in the morning. 
 
32 
 
 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. [ACT I. 
 
 Tot, Umph ! — And honest Mat Figgins, the grocer— is 
 he hale and hearty ? 
 
 Rink, He be dead, too. 
 
 Tot, He dead, too ! Poor Mat ! his lump-sugar was 
 excellent, lie had a dog, I remember, that chucked a 
 halfpenny off his nose into his mouth, whenever you said 
 nine. Is the dog alive ? 
 
 Risk, Noa ; he eat a halfpenny. 
 
 Tot, And did that kill him i 
 
 Risk, Ees ; ’ tware such a varry bad one. 
 
 Tot, Well, and what’s become of old Gruntlepool, the 
 undertaker ? 
 
 Risk. He’s gone dead, too, and ware buried last 
 Christmas. 
 
 Tot, What, the death-hunter dead, too ? Why, ble 
 us 1 they do nothing but die at Tadcaster ! What’s the 
 reason of it, Solomon ? 
 
 Risk, We ha’ gotten three more ’potty caries. 
 
 Tot, Oh, then I don’t wonder. But, come — ’tis almost 
 dinner time ; make haste and grind out the black, and 
 then for the shoulder of mutton. [Gom^, r.] Dear, dearl 
 fifty years ago, who’d have thought my old friends would 
 have dropped off so fast I [Exit^ r. 
 
 Risk, Oh, curse your questions ! — My master must have 
 waited in the street till he’s out of all patience ! They 
 seem all busy for a moment, at least ; so I’ll untie the 
 ladder of ropes that I have crammed into honest Solomon 
 Lob’s cloak-bag. [Taking up the. bag^ and untying it,'] — 
 Without this ladder of ropes, we could have done nothing. 
 
 Re-enter Totterton, r. 
 
 Tot, [Seeing Risk busied with the bag.] Ah ! that 
 cloak-bag is the very thing I came for. I had forgot to 
 take it into the hall ; Mr. Vigil can’t abide a litter. 
 
 Risk, [Uneasy,] Noa, uncle, noa ; I’ll tak’ it into the 
 hall. 
 
 Tot, Tut, boy ! ’tisn’t heavy. 
 
 Risk, Odd-rabbit it ! there be a deal more in’t than you 
 do think for. 
 
 Enter Vigil, r. 
 
 Vigil, Totterton ! 
 
 Tot, Eh? 
 
 Vigil, Come here. [Totterton puts down the cloak-bag , 
 and comes forward with Vigil^ c. — Risk returns to the 
 
SCENE I.J LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. 33 
 
 marble slab,'] Lydia will sit for the picture, provided I 
 take her to the exhibition to-morrow. 
 
 Tot. Don’t do it. 
 
 'Vigil. Hold your tongue ! I’ve promised her. 
 
 Tot. She’ll give you the slip there. Mind I ’twas I 
 said so ! 
 
 Vigil. Psha ! you’re an old blockhead ! She coming <o 
 the painting- room here directly, dressed for the subject 
 I’m painting. 
 
 Tot. And what will you do for Sampson Thwack ? — 
 Who’s to stand up for him ? 
 
 Vigil. Why, I told Lydia I had a great mind to try So- 
 lomon Lob, but she won’t hear of it. Between ourselves, 
 she’s right ; for I must say, though he’s your nephew, 
 he’s the awkwardest rascal I ever saw in my life ! [^Taking 
 Totterton further from Risk, r.] Come more this way. 
 A thought has struck me. {During the following convert 
 sation, Risk steals to the cloak-bag^ which he opens, takes 
 out a ladder of ropes, and hides it under several portfolios 
 which are on the table — he then replaces the bag under 
 the table, and returns to the marble slab.] There’s a bar- 
 rack not far off. 
 
 Tot. I know it. 
 
 Vigil. Couldn’t you get me a soldier off duty-only for 
 a couple of hours ? 
 
 Tot. To be sure I can. 
 
 Vigil. Tell him I’ll pay him handsomely ; — and, hark 
 ye, pick out a strong, well-made fellow — as like Thwack 
 as you can. 
 
 Tot. {Going, l.] I will. 
 
 Vigil. And — stay I — be sure he’s one of your own 
 choosing ; — bring him here yourself, else some dangerous, 
 designing dog may get into the house, and 
 
 Tot. {Going.] Oh, let me alone ! 
 
 Risk. {At the slab.] Dost ’e want I to gang and help 
 you wi’ ony thing, uncle ? 
 
 Tot. No, no ; stay where you are, boy. 
 
 {Exit with the cloak-bag, l. 
 
 Vigil. As for you, Solomon Lob, remember to execute 
 faithfully all that I order you. 
 
 Risk. I wull, zur. 
 
 Vigil. If Miss Lydia desires you to carry a letter, bring 
 it to me directly. 
 
 Risk. I wull, zur. 
 
 Vigil. You are to watch her at every turn, you know. 
 
34 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. [aCT I 
 
 Risk. Ees ; that’s what I be corn’d here for, zur. 
 
 Vigil. [Taking his palette^ and returning again to his 
 painting^ r. u. e.] At last, then, I shall finish my picture 1 
 A charming subject ! Cressida giving her glove to Troilus, 
 on his quitting Troy for the Grecian camp. 
 
 Enter Lydia, l. 
 
 Risk. [Aside."] Now, if I could but make her know me * 
 Vigil. Well, Lydia, why, how comes it you are not 
 dressed for the subject I’m painting ? 
 
 Lydia. We must have a word or two of explanation yet 
 before we finish our treaty. 
 
 Vigil. Psha I what’s the matter now ? 
 
 Lydia. Imprimis : you are to take me to the exhibition. 
 Vigil. Granted. 
 
 Lydia. But we are not to sneak in, remember, after 
 dinner, when all the company is gone. The middle of the 
 day, and a full room — that’s my stipulation. 
 
 Vigil. Weil, I — well, come, that’s granted, too. 
 
 Lydia. Very well, then ; when you have performed 
 your promise. I’ll perform mine. 
 
 Vigil. Why, zounds ! you must sit directly. Won’t 
 you take my word till to-morrow ? 
 
 TRIO. — Lydia, Vigil, and Risk. 
 
 Lydia. No, no ; I doubt you much, I vow, sir ; 
 
 Your promises are mighty fine. 
 
 Give me the exhibition now, sir ; 
 
 Allons ! we’ll to’t before we dine. 
 
 Vigil. [Sneering.] Your captain, in the throng, 
 
 Waits there, his love to meet. 
 
 Risk. [Aside^ pointing to the window^ c. f.] 
 
 Upon my soul, you’re wrong : 
 
 He’s waiting in the street. 
 
 Lydia. Excuse me, sir, your word I doubt ; 
 
 I’ll tell you how it comes about : 
 
 Deceit has always been your plan. 
 
 Vigil. Zounds, madam ! do you mean to flout ? 
 
 You fret me worse than law, or gout. 
 
 Or all the plagues that pester man ! 
 
 Risk. [Aside.] How shall I make her find me out i 
 How tell her I am not the lout ? 
 
 I must inform her, if I can. 
 
 Lydia. Well, no more words, since words are galling. 
 Risk. [Singing clownishly, and grinding the colours^ 
 
 Tol, lol, loddy, loddy, do ! 
 
SCENE I. 
 
 ,OVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSAIITH S. 
 
 35 
 
 Vigil. Why, how that awkward booby’s bawling! 
 
 Lydia. \_Going.'\ What's said, is said, and past recalling. 
 Vigil. {Peevishly Well, no more words. 
 
 Risk. {Aside.'] She must not go \ 
 
 Vigil Lydia. What's said, is said, and past recalling. 
 Risk, {Still grinding., and repeating the burden of the 
 couplets in the first act.] 
 
 “ He who pities maids like thee, 
 
 Hither comes to set you free !” 
 
 Lydia, {Who has suddenly stopped on hearing Risk — she 
 looks stedfastly at him., without being per- 
 ceived by Vigil, who has at this moment 
 turned his back, and is occupied with his 
 painting.] 
 
 Hark 1 heard I aright ? The air I know I 
 Vigil, {Seeing Lydia return.] 
 
 Why, Lydia, will you plague me daily } 
 
 Why will you vex your guardian so } 
 
 Risk. {Still grinding the colours.] 
 
 “ Oh, Miss Bailey 1 unfortunate Miss Bailey !” 
 Lydia, {Endeavouring to hide her agitation, and looking 
 occasionally towards Risk.] 
 
 Come, I relent — I might be wrong ; 
 
 I’ll sit — good nature is my vice. 
 
 Risk, {Aside.] She caught the burden of the song, 
 
 By jingo, in a trice ! 
 
 'BDGETHER. 
 
 Lydia ^ Vigil, Good humour now prevailing, 
 
 Let all our bickerings cease ! 
 
 Adieu to spleen and railing ! 
 
 Our quarrel ends in peace. 
 
 Risk. {Aside.] My lucky stars prevailing, 
 
 My hopes how they increase ! 
 
 I’ve now no fear of failing ; 
 
 The prisoner I’ll release. 
 
 Lydia. Since the man is ill, sir, who was to sit for this 
 picture to-day, suppose we — hem ! — suppose we try Tot- 
 terton’s nephew here. {Pointing to Risk.] He’s quite a 
 simpleton to be sure ; but perhaps he may answer, the 
 purpose. 
 
 Risk. Did you want I, madam? {Whispering.] i am 
 Captain Beldare’s man ! 
 
 Lydia, Yes ; now I look at him again, I think he’ll an- 
 swer the purpose very well. 
 
:{6 
 
 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. [aCT II. 
 
 Vigil. Why, you told me in the room just now he 
 looked like a goose. 
 
 Lydia. Certainly, at first sight, I — But, poor fellow I he 
 seems to be of service. 
 
 Risk. That’s what I am, madam. Oddrabbit it ! zur, 
 miss do see what I be good for, better nor you. 
 
 Vigil. Psha ! nonsense 1 I’ve sent for a soldier. 
 
 Lydia. A soldier ! 
 
 Vigil. I expect him here every minute. 
 
 Lydia. Oh, very well ; I’ll run and get on my dress ; — 
 but you have locked it up ; I can’t get it without the key 
 of the gallery. 
 
 Vigil. [Hesitating. 1 Well, well, I Well, come, here 
 
 it is. [Gives her the key, 
 
 Lydia, [Aside^ going,'] A soldier ! and Beldare’s man 
 here ! This means something, and time will explain it. 
 
 [Exit, R. 
 
 Vigil, She has made up her mind so soon, that I am 
 mistaken if she hasn’t some mischief in her head. And I, 
 too, to be such a blockhead to trust her with the key of the 
 gallery I I’ll lay my life she’s peeping out there, to give 
 Beldare some clue to find her at the Exhibition to-morrow. 
 I’il be after her directly. [Going ^ r. 
 
 Enter Tgtterton and Dub, a Grenadier^ l. 
 
 Tot. Here, I have brought you a thumper. 
 
 Vigil. [Looking at the Grenadier.] Aye — well — I — yes ! 
 Put him into the dress ; I’ll be here in a minute. 
 
 [Runs off^ L. 
 
 Tot. Bless my soul ! he has shot off like a piece of 
 quicksilver ! Where is he going in such a hurry t 
 
 Dub. Come, old one, be alive ; I’ve no time to spare. 
 
 Tot, [Taking a breast-plate from an armed chair.] 
 Well, patience, patience! You are off duty, you know, 
 honest friend. 
 
 Dub. We have a roll-call at five ; I musn’t be too late. 
 
 Tot. Time enough — time enough. And what is your 
 name, friend ? 
 
 Dub. Dub. 
 
 Tot. Dub I — Bless me 1 that’s a very short name for a 
 grenadier ! Come, put by your cap. 
 
 Dub. [Putting his cap on the chair.] But, I say, my 
 hearty, besides the half-crown, you know, I’m to have a 
 pot of porter for a compliment. 
 
 Tot. Aye, aye; we sha’ n’t quarrel about that. [To Risk.] 
 
SCENE I.] LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSxMlTHS. 37 
 
 Come you, and help us. Here’s the breast^plate, {Taking 
 itup.'\ and — {A bell rings, l.] Hark ! that’s my master’s 
 bell! There’s the helmet and beard, and — {Bell rings 
 again.'] Coming I coming I Help the honest man, Solo- 
 mon. {Ej;it, L. 
 
 Risk. Ees, uncle, I wull. 
 
 JDub. Is that old buck your uncle ? 
 
 Risk. {Aside.] Now’s my time, or never ! 
 
 {He quits the grenadier, whose arms are passed half 
 way through the arm-holes of the breast-plate, and 
 runs to the rope-ladder, which he has hid under the 
 portfolios. 
 
 Dub. Why, what the devil do you leave me handcuffed 
 so for ? 
 
 Risk. {Opening the window, and throwing out the rope- 
 ladder, which he fixes to the balcony.] Quick ! quick ! — 
 Come up I 
 
 Dub. {Disentangling himself from the breast-plate, and 
 throwing it on the fioor.] Zounds ! they have brought me 
 into this house to rob me ! {Draws his sword, and stands 
 on his guard — Beldare appears at the window, c. f., and 
 jumps into the room.] Why, ’tis my own captain! 
 
 Bel. {To Dub.] Ha ! you here, my lad ! How came 
 you into this house ? 
 
 Risk. To help gallantry, and relieve beauty, sir. 
 
 Dub. Beauty, you ugly dog ! what do you mean ? 
 
 Risk. [Rapidly.] Get down that ladder as quick as you 
 can ; take my master’s cloak, that you’ll find at the bottom 
 of it ; wait for me at the public-house, at the corner ; — 
 I’ll be with you in a quarter of an hour, and you shall 
 drink your skin-full to the health of Captain Beldare. 
 
 Bel. Do so, my lad ; and I’ll reward you handsomely, 
 depend on’t. 
 
 Dub. Quick march, then ! 
 
 {He is about to take up his cap and sword. 
 
 Risk. No, no ; leave your cap and sword ; we shall want 
 them. 
 
 Dub. Leave my accoutrements ? {Hesitating.] Captain.^ 
 
 Bel. I’ll be answerable for them. 
 
 Dub. Well, captain, if anything should come on’t, you’ll 
 bear me harmless. Pray take care of my sword, captain ; 
 it stuck by me all last war, and, somehow, I have a love 
 for it. {Getting out at the window. 
 
 Bel. I’ll be careful of it. I enter into your sentiments, 
 my brave fellow ! A British soldier always feels an aflec- 
 
 D 
 
38 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. [aCT II. 
 
 tion for the weapon he has used against the enemies of old 
 England. 
 
 \Bub goes down the ladder^ and Risk shuts the window. 
 
 Risk. Now, sir, your hat if you please, and on with this 
 helmet and breast-plate immediately. 
 
 Bel. Explain all in two words, before anybody comes. 
 
 [^Gives Risk his hat^ who hides it behind the portfolios. 
 
 Risk. In two words, then, you are the grenadier that xS 
 just gone out at the window ; and, over and above the 
 money for your trouble, you’ll get a pot of porter. 
 
 Bel. What for ? 
 
 Risk. For coming as a model to old Vigil for one of his 
 pictures. 
 
 Bel. I conceive. \Buring thiSy Risk is dressing Beldare.'] 
 Is Lydia handsome ? 
 
 Risk. As an angel I 
 
 Bel. As I predicted ! I won’t quit the house without her. 
 
 Risk. Softly, sir, softly ! We shall be discovered. 
 
 Bel. That’s true ; but how am I to hide my face ? 
 
 Risk. Here’s a wig and beard, sir, which belong to the 
 long dress ; they will disguise it, I warrant. And now, I 
 think, we — [Trying it on.'\ Ha I here’s somebody coming I 
 
 Enter Totterton, l. 
 
 Tot. Why, there’s a young man at the door says he is 
 my nephew, Solomon Lob. 
 
 Risk. [Aside.'] Zounds ! we’re discovered ! [Aloud.] — 
 Why, uncle, you don’t say so } 
 
 Tot. Sure as you are there ; but he don’t bamboozle me. 
 What do you think ? 
 
 Risk. What ! 
 
 Tot. I saw him stealing from the hotel over the way, 
 where that ofiStcer lives. 
 
 Risk. Did you, by gum } 
 
 Tot. Yes ; a rogue the captain has hired to carry on his 
 plots. 
 
 Risk. Wauns ! uncle, you ha’ hit on’t. 
 
 Tot. Oh, let me alone for finding out a cheat. He won’t 
 go from the door, so there let him stay. Well, have yoz 
 dressed the — [Looking at Beldare.] Aye, very well; the 
 helmet a little more up. [Arranging the dress.] There I 
 An impudent knave, to think to impose upon me ! 
 
 Enter Vigil, r. 
 
 Vigil. I’ve got my keys again, and she is safe. Oh, this 
 is the man for the model ! 
 
SCENE I.] LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. 39 
 
 Tot, Much about the size of Thwack, isn’t he ? 
 
 Vigil, [Taking Totterton aside,'] But are you quite sure 
 he’s a soldier ? 
 
 Tot, Pooh ! I brought him from the barracks myself. 
 
 Vigil, Enough. And how much money are you to have, 
 my lad ? [Beldare pauses. 
 
 Tot, He’s to have half-a-crown. 
 
 Bel. And a pot of porter. 
 
 Vigil. Aye, aye ; two, if you like. Totterton, see if 
 Lydia’s ready. [Exit Totterton^ R.] What regiment do 
 you belong to, my lad ? 
 
 Bel. The First. 
 
 Vigil. Indeed! Then, perhaps, you know an officer 
 called Beldare, nephew to General Thunder ? 
 
 Bel. He’s my own captain. 
 
 Vigil. Is he ? Then you may tell him, from me, if he 
 ever hopes to set a foot in this house, he’s plaguily mistaken. 
 
 Bel. I will. 
 
 Enter Totterton, followed by Lydia, dressed for the 
 picture, 
 
 Lydia, (r. c.) [Apart to Risk,] Who is that soldier ? 
 
 Risk, (r.) [Apart to Lydia.] He’s my master. 
 
 Vigil. So, Lydia, you are ready, I see. 
 
 Lydia. Is this the soldier, sir, who is to be my com- 
 panion ? 
 
 Vigil. Yes — a good subject ; though, it seems, madam, 
 he knows your Captain Beldare. 
 
 Lydia. Indeed I ~ 
 
 Bel. I was in his company when I received my last 
 wound, madam. 
 
 Lydia. And how did you get your wound, pray ? 
 
 Bel, In scaling a fortress which the enemy thought 
 impregnable. A rich treasure was locked up in it. I 
 mounted a ladder, and got into the building through a 
 window ; but I had hardly been five minutes in the place, 
 before I received a deep wound just — [Placing his hand 
 on his left side.] just on this side, madam. 
 
 Lydia. On — on the side of the heart ? 
 
 Bel. Yes, madam. 
 
 Lydia. But it was very slight, I suppose ? 
 
 Bel. Oh, no ; very dangerous. I shall feel the effects 
 of it for the rest of my life, madam. 
 
 Lydia. For the rest of your life ! Poor man, I pity you, 
 sincerely ! 
 
 D 2 
 
40 LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. [ACT Ii 
 
 Vigil. Come, come, we lose time ; let’s to business. — 
 You see this picture, friend ; — this is the position I want. 
 Now take that lady’s hand ; kneel, and look her full in 
 the face. 
 
 Bel. {Kneeling y and taking Lydia's hand."] The lady, I 
 am afraid, will think me very aw'kward. 
 
 Lydia. Oh, no, not in the least ! 
 
 Tot. {Who has been busied in various parts of the room.'] 
 Bless my soul ! here’s a hat, with a spanking cockade, 
 crammed under the portfolios I {A violent tapping is heard 
 at the window.] Eh? why, what’s that? 
 
 [Dub opens the window^ and looks in. 
 
 Dub. I must attend parade directly. Tell Captain Bel- 
 dare to chuck me my sword. 
 
 Vigil. Captain Beldare ! 
 
 Bisk. {Throwing the sword to the Grenadier.] Take 
 your sword, and go to the devil ! {Dub disappears. 
 
 Vigil. Why, zounds ! am I betrayed ? 
 
 Bel. {Throwing off his disguise^ Even so, sir. I am 
 that Captain Beldare, who, in spite of your bolts, bars, and 
 locksmiths, cherished hopes of setting foot in your house ; 
 and have not been, you see, so plaguily mistaken. 
 
 Vigil. And how the devil did you get in ? 
 
 Bisk. Oh, I let my master in, sir, at that window. 
 
 Tot. His master ! Oh, my poor Solomon Lob I 
 
 {Buns offy L. 
 
 Vigil. And now, sir, you have got into my house, do 
 me the favour to go out of it. 
 
 Bel. With all my heart, when this lady accompanies me. 
 
 Vigil. Sir, this lady shall 
 
 Bel. Nay, nay, no blustering. Look ye, Mr. Vigil, 1 
 am young and independent, and this lady entirely free. 
 
 Vigil. Free I 
 
 Bel. Yes, sir ; the law, I know, gives you no power over 
 her. Resign her quietly, or dread the consequences 1 — 
 Come, my old boy, listen to terms, and she shall come and 
 sit as a model whenever you please. 
 
 Lydia. Oh, certainly. 
 
 Enter Totterton and Solomon Lob, l. 
 
 Tot. Oh, my poor Solomon I that I took for a rogue, 
 and shut out of doors I 
 
 Lob. Ne’er heed it, uncle ; I be in at last. {To Vigil.] 
 I be come, zur, to see that nobody do run away wi’ miss. 
 
 Vigil. Upon my soul, you have taken a very pretty time 
 
SCENE I.] LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS. 41 
 
 fot it ! Well, well: ’tis in vain to murmur, I see Cap- 
 tain, you have conquered — I submit. 
 
 Bel. Well resolved! And if ever you have another 
 ward under your care, Mr. Vigil, recollect that it is the 
 happy privilege of this country, that its women, like its 
 men, are always free. 
 
 FINALE and CHORUS, — Captain Beldare, Lydia, 
 Vigil, a?jdRisK. 
 
 Cupid inflaming us. 
 
 Old men 
 Are fools, when 
 They ever talk of taming us. 
 
 Life’s date is quickly past, — 
 
 Youth’s bloom is fading fast ; 
 
 Know this — 
 
 Then seize bliss. 
 
 And pleasures while they last. 
 
 Cupid inflaming us, &c. 
 
 Guardians, wishing to secure us, 
 
 Only think and act like dolts ; 
 
 Let them as they will immure us. 
 
 Love contrives to burst the bolts. 
 
 Cupid inflaming us, &c. 
 
 Women all our senses cozen. 
 
 Through a maze of wiles they run ; 
 
 I can paint them by the dozen. 
 
 But I cannot conquer one. 
 
 Cupid inflaming them, 
 
 Old men 
 Are fools, then. 
 
 Who ever talk of taming them, 
 
 Cupid inflaming us, &c. 
 
 [To Vigil.'] When you paint the pretty creatures. 
 Always place a captain near ; 
 
 Nothing heightens more their features. 
 
 Then a handsome grenadier. 
 
 Chorus. Cupid inflaming them, 
 
 Old men 
 Are fools, when 
 
 They ever talk of taming them I 
 
 THE END. 
 
 mt. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 Lydia. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 Vigil. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 Printed by liiOMAS Scott, Warwick C<?urt, Holborij. 
 
Lacy’s 
 
 VOLTmE 1. 
 
 1 Time Trie's All 
 
 2 Practical Man 
 
 3 Soldier’s Proi^ress 
 
 4 Reig’ning’ Favourite 
 
 5 Swiss Cottag-e 
 f) No 
 
 7 Daug-hter 
 
 8 Two Uueens 
 
 9 Howdoyoumanag’e? 
 
 10 Comfortable Service 
 
 11 Passing' Cloud 
 
 12 Creole (The) 
 id Novelty Fair 
 
 14 Philos»opher’s Stone 
 16 Haunted Inn 
 VOLUME 2. 
 lOEsmeraldafA.Smith ) 
 ITFoundlingoi I’orest 
 18 ( )at on tliG Loose 
 T.) Poo** Cousin Walter 
 
 20 Brijrand 
 
 2! D MU ?stic Economy 
 
 22 L) lug-hterof the Scars 
 
 23 Woodman’s Spell 
 
 21 .[ ick in the Green 
 2')Withoutincumbrncs 
 23 Princesses in Tower 
 
 27 Platonic Attachmnts 
 
 28 Born to Good Luck 
 21 My Wife’s Daug'hter 
 
 30 Husband of Heart 
 
 VOLUME 3. 
 
 31 Serve Him Rig'ht 
 
 32 ril be your Second 
 
 33 Harleqn. King* Alfred 
 
 34 Harlqn.O’Donog'hue 
 
 35 Prince Donis 
 
 33 Day after Wedding 
 
 37 Raising the Wind 
 
 38 Rob Roy Macgregor 
 30 Belphegor 
 
 40 La Tarantula 
 
 41 All Glitters not Gold 
 
 42 HighLifeb’lowStairs 
 4-3 Bombastes Furioso 
 
 44 Exposition 
 
 45 Alhambra 
 
 VOLUME 4. 
 
 40 r Roger deCoverley 
 
 47 E idles’ Battle 
 
 48 “ Apartments’* 
 
 40 Cheap Excursion 
 ro V/oman’i Love 
 
 61 Married Bachelor 
 ; 1 I' ire Eater 
 53 Anything for Change 
 
 5 i Grirashaw, Bagshaw, 
 
 and Bradshaw 
 55 Tooth-ache 
 5 ) Lady Godiva [Debts 
 57 New Way to Pay Old 
 5S Mary Queen of’Scots 
 5 ) Lovers’ Quarrrels 
 6J Carpenter of Rouen 
 VOLUME 5. 
 
 61 Pauline 
 
 6i Cool as a Cucumber 
 
 6 3 Hopeless Passion 
 61 Goneof Specnl ttion 
 6 > Thumning Legacy 
 6o Thetis and Peleus 
 
 67 Guardian Angel 
 
 68 Two Bcnnycastles 
 6!) Counter Attraction 
 
 70 I’ve eaten my Friend 
 
 71 Tender Precautions 
 
 72 liar) ;quin Hogarth 
 
 Acting Edition of Plays, 6d. each, 
 
 or in volumes^ neatly hound ls» each^ post free. 
 
 73 Box and Cox 
 74Willow-PatternPlate 
 
 75 Organic Affection 
 
 VOLUME 6. 
 
 76 Duel in the Dark 
 
 77 Kiss in the Dark 
 
 78 Cherry and Fair Star 
 
 79 Corsican Brothers 
 
 80 Our Clerks [tuscs 
 
 81 Matrimni alProspec- 
 
 82 El Hyder [Hercules 
 
 83 Twelve Labours ol 
 
 84 Who Stole the Pocket 
 
 85 Wittikiiid [Book 1 
 8 3 Spanking Legacy 
 
 87 King of the Alps 
 
 88 Ganem 
 
 89 Taking by Storm 
 
 90 \ ery Sn«])icions 
 
 VOLUME 7. 
 
 91 Left the Stage 
 
 92 Rose of Ettrick Vale 
 
 93 Unwarrantable Ii- 
 91 BinksBagman[tr tisin 
 
 95 Miller of Whets tore 
 
 96 “ Matrimoni 1,” &c. 
 
 97 Book the Third 
 
 98 Sink or Swim 
 
 99 Waiting on the Wal 1 
 
 100 John Dobbs 
 
 101 Son of Wilderness 
 10‘2 Drunkard [mond 
 
 103 Diamond cut Dia- 
 
 104 Gale Breezely 
 
 105 MasLr Passion 
 
 VOLUME 8. I 
 10 V PrimaDonna liners ' 
 
 107 Wanted, 1000 M;l- 
 
 108 Macbeth Travestie 
 
 109 Critic 
 
 1 10 Slasher and Crasher 
 
 111 Not a Bad Jmlge 
 
 112 Woman I Adore 
 
 113 Box & Cox Married 
 
 114 Mysterious Lady 
 
 115 My Precious Betsy 
 
 116 Capital Match 
 
 117 House Out of Win- 
 
 118 Betsy Baker [dows 
 
 1 1 9 Gotobed Tom 
 
 120 Jenkinses 
 
 VOLUME 9. 
 
 121 Phenomenon in a 
 Smock Frock 
 
 1 23 II arleq uin H u dibras 
 123 Cherry 
 
 144 Desperate Game 
 
 145 Uncle Crotchet 
 
 146 Ladies at Home 
 
 147 Hamlet Travestie 
 
 148 A. S. S. 
 
 149 Fast Train [Pail 
 
 150 Maid Aiith Milking 
 VOITME II. 
 
 151 1 ryi)’g it on 
 
 152 Miller and Lis Men 
 
 153 Mob Cap 
 
 154 Lawyers 
 
 155 Sardanapalus 
 
 156 RappingsandTable 
 Moviiigs 
 
 1 5“ H and someH usband 
 158 Times 
 
 159 Shylf ck [the Tiger 
 the Man & 
 
 124 Loan of a Lover 
 123GoodWomninWood 
 123 Leo the Terrible 
 
 127 Bold Dragoons 
 
 128 ’Twas I 
 
 129 Where there’s aWill 
 
 130 Gilderoy 
 
 131 Yr Life’s in Danger 
 
 132 Macbeth 
 
 133 Violet 
 
 134 Louis XI. [£5 
 
 135 To Paris & Back for 
 
 VOLUME 10. 
 
 136 Obstinate F'amily 
 
 137 Civilization, Is. 
 
 138 Marco Spada 
 
 139 Strange History 
 
 140 Raffaelle Reprobate 
 
 141 Buckstone’s Ascent 
 
 142 Stage Struck 
 
 143 Elopements inHigh 
 Life, la. 
 
 160 r.P., or 
 
 161 Going to CboLhrm 
 
 162 Acis and Galatia 
 
 163 My First Fit of G on t 
 
 164 1 ockedinwithLady 
 
 165 Somebody Else 
 
 AOLUME 12. 
 
 1'’6 DonCa sardeBazan 
 *67 Chesterfield! hnskn 
 
 168 Fountain of Beauty 
 
 169 Hotel Charges 
 
 1 lO Camp at the Olvni' 
 
 171 Curious Case [pi 
 
 172 Midas 
 
 ! ~3 Little Toddlekins 
 1 4 Egyptian [wich 
 1 75 V liitcbaitatGre( n- 
 1 1 76 rr« ttyPieceBusinsi 
 ■ 1 77 Bachelor of Arts 
 ] 78 Uncle Tom’s Cabin 
 1 ~9 Miller of Derwent 
 l60 1 et of the Public 
 VOLUME 13. 
 
 181 To Parents & Guar- 
 dians [Hapf y 
 
 182 How to make Home 
 
 1 83 Hope of the Family 
 
 1 84 Cure for Love 
 
 185 Nice Firm 
 
 1 86 Once Upon a Time 
 
 187 Lancers 
 
 1 88 First Night 
 
 189 Ladies’ Club 
 
 190 Perfection 
 
 191 Plot and Passion 
 
 1 92 Ranelagh 
 
 193 Richard the Third 
 
 194 Invasion of Russia 
 1 15 Sea of Ice (The) 
 
 VOLUME 14. 
 
 193 Away with Melan- 
 choly [Dinah 
 J07 Willikind and hys 
 ) 98 Good Run for it 
 
 199 No.ljEoundCorner 
 
 200 Storm in a Tea-cup 
 
 201 Jacobite (The) 
 
 202M arriedUn-married 
 
 203 Broken Toys [olles 
 
 204 Louise de Ligner- 
 
 205 Moustache Move- 
 ment [Conjuror 
 
 206 ’Twould Puzzle a 
 
 207 Deaf as a Post 
 
 208 T.> Oblige Benson 
 
 209 Follies of a N ight 
 
 210 Family Jars 
 VOLUME 15. 
 
 211 M'*. Buckstone’e 
 Voj^age 
 
 212 Lord Bateman's 
 
 Journey < 
 
 213 EaustSc Marguerite 
 
 214 Marble Heart, Is, 
 
 215 Knights of the 
 Round Table, 
 
 216 Rent Day (The) 
 
 217 Village to Court 
 
 218 Sunshine through 
 Clouds [nil us 
 
 219 V\ aitirgforanOm** 
 
 220 Courier of Lyons 
 
 221 Heads or Tails ? 
 
 222 Paul Pry. Is, f 
 :.43 ( Id Clirteau 
 
 l:. 4 Eustrd.e 
 i25 AsLibeasTwoPea® 
 VOLl ME 16. 
 
 226 Fidi cut of Water 
 
 227 Movii’g dale 
 
 228 Ben Lolt 
 
 2291 oneh M anofOcean 
 270 1 alse and Ccnstr.r.t 
 
 231 M) Friend theMcjcr 
 
 232 Ete n Boy 
 
 233 Blighted Being* 
 
 234 Living too Fast 
 
 235 Sephiu’s Supper 
 
 236 Field of 40 Foot- 
 
 237 Avalanche [steps 
 
 238 Object of Interest 
 
 239 Bona Fide Travi I- 
 
 240 Hone> moon [Icrs*^ 
 VOLUME 17. 
 
 241 Balanceot C( mfort 
 
 242 Court of Obi k n 
 24oHarleqn.Blut Li ard 
 
 244 Sailor of Fn nte 
 
 245 Yellow Du arf 
 
 246 Bottle (The) 
 
 247 Railway Belle 
 
 248 Abon Hassan 
 
 249 Aggravating Sam 
 
 250 Rough Diamond 
 
 251 Good for Nothing 
 
 252 Tit for Tat 
 
 253 Good Little AVife 
 
 254 OppositeNeighLurs 
 
 255 Three Musketeers, 
 VOLUME 18. i Is. 
 
 256 Wonderful Woman 
 
 257 My Wife’s Diary 
 
 258 My Neighbour’s • 
 
 259 Secret Agent [Wife 
 
 260 Game of Romps 
 261Take that Girl away 
 262Cinderella(Opera,ls) 
 
 263 Esmeralda ( Dr;wna ) 
 
 264 Muleteer of Toledo 
 
 265 Romeo and Julii t 
 
 266 Clockmaker’s Hat 
 
 267 Miserof Shoreditchi 
 
 268 Delicate Ground 
 
 269 Guy Mannering 
 
 270 Captain of Watch 
 VOLUME 19. 
 
 271 Golden Branch 
 
 272 Beauty and Beast 
 
 273 Blue Beard [Locks 
 ‘‘TFairOnewithGoldi n 
 
 275 Cymon and I))!;!- 
 
 276 Fortunio [genia, 
 
 7 Invisible Prince 
 
 278 Island of Jewels 
 79 King Charming 
 280 King of Peacocks 
 2Hl Prince Happy Land 
 2bJ Theseus & Ariadoo 
 
 /