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 BY Wm. a. ALCOTT. 
 
 THIRTEENTH EDITION, 
 
 BOSTON:^ 
 
 PERKINS AND MARVIN, 
 1839 . 
 
Entered, according to act of Congress, in the year 1835, 
 By Perkins & Marvin, 
 
 in the Clerk’s Office of the District Court of the District of 
 Massachusetts. 
 
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 TO THE READER. 
 
 When I commenced this work, my object was 
 a mere compilation. There were many excellent 
 books for young men, already in circulation, but 
 none which I thought unexceptionable; and some 
 of them contained sentiments which I could not 
 approve. I sat down, therefore, intending to make 
 selections from the choicest parts of them all, and 
 prepare an unexceptionable and practical manual; 
 such an one as I should be willing to see in the 
 hands of any youth in the community. 
 
 In the progress of my task, however, I found 
 much less that was wholly in accordance with 
 my own sentiments, than I had expected. The 
 result was that the project of compilings was given 
 up; and a work prepared, which is chiefly origi- 
 nal, There are, it is true, some quotations from 
 ^Burgh’s Dignity of Human Nature,’ ^Cobbett’s 
 
4 
 
 TO THE READER. 
 
 Advice to Young Men,’ ^ Chesterfield’s Advice,’ 
 and Hawes’ Lectures; but in general what I have 
 derived from other works is re-written, and much 
 modified. On this account it was thought unne- 
 cessary to refer to authorities in the body of the 
 work. 
 
 The object of this book is to elevate and reform. 
 That it may prove useful and acceptable, as a 
 means to these ends, is the hearty wish of 
 
 THE AUTHOR 
 
 Boston, Dec. 9, 1833. 
 
ADVERTISEMENT TO THE FIRST EDITION. 
 
 The great purpose of the Youug Man’s Guide, 
 is the formation of such character in our young 
 men as shall render them the worthy and useful 
 and happy members of a great republic. To this 
 end, the author enters largely into the means of 
 improving the mind, the manners and the morals; 
 ’ — as well as the proper management of business. 
 Something is also said on amusements, and had 
 habits. On the subject of marriage he has, how- 
 ever, been rather more full than elsewhere. The 
 importance of this institution to every young man, 
 the means of rendering it what the Creator intend- 
 ed, together with those incidental evils which 
 either accompany or follow — some of them in ter- 
 rible retribution — the vices which tend to oppose 
 His benevolent purposes, are faithfully presented, 
 and claim the special attention of every youthful 
 reader. 
 
 1 # 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 Introduction. Mistakes in regard to the disposition 
 and management of the young. 19 — 26 
 
 CHAPTER I, — Importance of aiming high in the 
 Formation^ OF Character. 
 
 Section I. Importance of having a high standard of 
 action. — The young should determine to rise. We 
 may usually become what we desire to be. An anec- 
 dote. Studying the lives of eminent and useful men. 
 
 27—30 
 
 ^ Section II. Motives to action. — A regard to our 
 own happiness. To family and friends. To society. 
 To country. To the will of God. The love of God, 
 the highest motive. 31—38 
 
 Section III. Industry. — No person has a right to 
 live without labor. Determine to labor as long as you 
 live. Mistaken method of teaching industry. Labor 
 in the open air. Manual labor schools. #38 — 43 
 
ADVERTISEMENT TO THE SECOND EDITION. 
 
 The rapid sale of a large edition of this work, 
 and the general tribute of public praise which has 
 been awarded to its merits, instead of closing the 
 eyes of the Publishers or the Author against exist- 
 ing defects, have, on the contrary, only deepened 
 their sense of obligation to render the present edi- 
 tion as perfect as possible; and no pains have been 
 spared to accomplish this end. Several new sec- 
 tions have been added to the work, and some of 
 the former have been abridged or extended. 
 
 advertisement to the THIRD EDITION. 
 
 An increasing demand for the Young Man’s 
 Guide, evinced by the sale of more than five thou- 
 sand copies of the work in a few months, have 
 induced the publishers to give a third edition, with 
 some amendments and additions by the author; 
 who has also derived important suggestions from 
 gentlemen of high literary and moral standing, to 
 whom the work had been submitted for examina- 
 tion. 
 
 THE PUBLISHERS. 
 
8 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Section IV. Econom}^ — False and true; Exam- 
 ples of the false. Time is money. Sixty minutes 
 shown to be an hour. Economical habits. 1. Do every 
 thing at the time. Anecdote. 2. Every thing should 
 have its place. Examples. 43 — 47 
 
 Section V. Indolence. — The indolent only half 
 human. Characteristics of an indolent man. His 
 epitaph. 47 — 49 
 
 Section VI. Early Rising and rest. — He who 
 would rise early, must retire early. Morning air. 
 Advantages of early rising. 1. Things go better 
 through the day. 2. Morning hours more agreeable. 
 
 3. Danger of the second nap. 4. Early risers long- 
 
 lived. 5. One hour's sleep before midnight worth two 
 after. 6. Saving of time and money. Estimates. Ex- 
 amples of early rising. 49 — 55 
 
 Section VH. Duty to Parents. — Reasons. 1. For 
 the sake of our own reputation. 2. From love to our 
 parents. 3. Better to suffer wrong, than to do wrong. 
 
 4. Nothing gained by going away. Franklin an excep- 
 
 tion to the general rule. No sight more beautiful than 
 a well ordered and happy family. Obedience the great 
 lesson of life. 56 — 59 
 
 Section VHI. Faithfulness. — Our duty to our 
 employers. Common error of the young. Examples. 
 The Mahratta prince. 69 — 61 
 
 Section IX. On Forming Temperate Habits. — 
 Drunkenness and gluttony. Indulgence short of these 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 Indulgences very expensive. Spending time at meals. 
 Water drinkers the best guests. Temperate habits 
 tend to health. Ecclesiasticus. Examples of rational 
 living. Tea, coffee, soups, and all warm drinks in- 
 jurious. General rules. 62 — 70 
 
 Section X. Suppers. — Customs of our ancestors ; 
 and of the Jews. Advantages gained by avoiding 
 suppers. Eating-houses. 70 — ^73 
 
 Section XI. Dress. — Its uses. Neither be first 
 nor last in a fashion. Fondness for dress. Women 
 not often misled by dress. 73 — 75 
 
 Section XII. Bashfulness and Modesty. — We may 
 be both bashful and impudent. Bashfulness injurious. 
 Set up for just what we are, and no more. 76 — 78 
 
 Section XIII. Politeness and Good Breeding. — 
 Not to be despised. In what good breeding consists. 
 How acquired. Ten plain rules. 78 — 82 
 
 Section XIV. Personal Habits. — Business of the 
 day planned in the morning. Dressing, shaving, &c. 
 Shaving with cold water. Anecdote. 82 — 88 
 
 Section XV. Bathing and Cleanliness. — Connec- 
 
 tion of Cleanliness with Moral Purity. Neglect of 
 this subject. 88 — 89 
 
 Section XVI. Little Things. — Not to be disre- 
 garded. Zimmerman. The world made up of little 
 things, 89—93 
 
10 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Section XVIL Anger, and the means of restrain- 
 ing it. Avoid the first steps. An error in education. 
 Opinion of Dr. Darwin. The (Quaker and the Mer- 
 chant. Zimmerman’s method of overcoming anger. 
 Unreasonableness of returning evil for evil. 93 — 99 
 
 CHAPTER II. — On the Management of Business. 
 
 Section I. Commencing Business. — Avoid debt. 
 Do not begin too early. Facts stated. Why young 
 men do not take warning. Students of Medicine and 
 Divinity. Examples for imitation. 100 — 108 
 
 Section 11. Importance of Integrity. — Thieves 
 and robbers respect it. What it is. Many kinds of 
 dishonesty. 1. Concealing the market price. 2. Mis- 
 representing it. 3. Selling unsound or defective 
 goods, and calling them sound and perfect. Quack med- 
 icines. 4. Concealing defects. 5. Lowering the value 
 of things we wish to buy. 6. Use of false weights and 
 measures. Other kinds of dishonesty. 108 — 115 
 
 Section III. Method. — Memorandum book; its 
 uses. Rules for doing much business in little time. 
 
 116—117 
 
 Section IV. Application to Business. — Every per- 
 son ought to have one principal object of pursuit, and 
 steadily pursue it. Perseverance of a shopkeeper. 
 All useful employments respectable. Character of a 
 .X- drone, 117—120 
 
 '' Section V. Proper Time and Season of doing Bu- 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 H 
 
 siness. — When to deal with the gloomy; the intem- 
 perate ; those unhappy in domestic life ; men involved 
 in public concerns. 120 — 122 
 
 Section VI. Buying upon Trust. — Live within 
 our income. Calculate. Buy nothing but what you 
 need. Estimates and examples to show the folly of 
 credit. Not intended as lessons of stinginess. 
 
 122—127 
 
 Section VII. We should endeavor to do our busi- 
 ness ourselves. Four reasons. Trusting dependants. 
 We can do many little things without hindrance. 
 
 127—130 
 
 Section VIII. Over Trading. — A species fraud. 
 Arises from a desire to get rich rapidly. Wickedness 
 of monopolies. 130 — 131 
 
 Section IX. Making contracts beforehand. Al- 
 ways make bargains beforehand. Three reasons. If 
 possible, reduce every thing to writing. 131 — 132 
 
 Section X. How to know with whom to deal. — 
 Two rules. How to detect a knave. All men by na- 
 ture, avaricious. Avoid those who boast of good har- 
 gains. Avoid sanguine promisers. 133 — 135 
 
 Section XI. How to take Men as they are. — How 
 to regard a miser ; a passionate man ; a slow man ; the 
 covetous ; those ruled by their wives ; the boasting ; 
 the mild tempered ; the bully. Six sorts of people from 
 whom you are not to expect much aid or sympathy iiS 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 n 
 
 life : the sordid, the lazy, the busy, the rich, those mis- 
 erable from poverty, and the silly. 136 — 140 
 
 Section XII. Of desiring the good opinion of oth- 
 ers. — Those not far from ruin who do n't care. — The 
 other extreme to be avoided. 140 — 141 
 
 Section XIII. Intermeddling with the affairs of 
 others. — Matchmakers. Taking sides in quarrels. Ish- 
 maelites. 142 — 143 
 
 Section XIV. On keeping Secrets. — Who may 
 safely be trusted. Anecdotes. 143 — 145 
 
 Section XV. Fear of Poverty. — Little real pover- 
 ty in this country. Shame of being thought poor leads 
 to worse evils than poverty itself. Fear of poverty 
 often a cause of suicide. 145 — 150 
 
 Section XVI. Speculation. — The habit early form- 
 ed. It is a species of gaming. Its sources. 
 
 150—152 
 
 Section XVII. Lawsuits. — Avoid the law. Liti- 
 giousness, a disease. Consider what is gained by it. 
 Examples of loss. Subdue the passions which lead to 
 it. Lawsuits unnecessary. 152 — 156 
 
 Section XVIII. Hard dealing. — Its unchristian 
 nature. Two prices. Habits of the Mohammedans. 
 
 156-157 
 
CONTENTS* 
 
 13 
 
 CHAPTER III. — On Amusements and Indulgences. 
 
 Section I. On Gaming. — Every gambler a robber. 
 The first player. Gaming produces nothing. Cor- 
 rupts manners. Discourages industry. Opinions of 
 Locke and others. What tremendous evils it leads 
 to. France, England. Different sorts of gaming. 
 1. Cards j dice, and billiards. 2. Shooting matches. 
 These brutal practices still sometimes tolerated. 3. 
 Horst racing and cock fighting. A recent bull fight. 
 
 158—171 
 
 Section II. On Lotteries. — Lotteries theuw^i spe- 
 feies of Gaming. They are a species of swindling. 
 Estimates to show their folly. Appeal to the reader. 
 
 171—176 
 
 Section III. The Theatre. — A school of vice. 
 Injurious to health. Diseases produced by it. Its 
 danger to morals. Opinions and facts from Griscom^ 
 Rousseau, Hawkins, Tillotson, Collier, Hale, Burghj 
 and Plato. Anecdote. Antiquity of theatres. No 
 safety but in total abstinence. 176 — 183 
 
 Section IV. Use of Tobacco. — 1. Smoking. Pic- 
 ture of its evils in Germany. Tobacco consumed 
 in the United States. When it was introduced. None 
 fecommend it to their children. A most powerful 
 poison. Savages fond of it, in proportion to their de- 
 gradation. No poisonous plant, so much used, except 
 the betel of India. How smoking can be abolished. 
 S. Chewing. Apologies for the practice. Tobacco 
 does not preserve teeth. 3. Taking snuff. Disgust 
 fend danger of this habit. 183 — 1 91 
 
 2 
 
14 
 
 dONl*ENTSi 
 
 Section V. Useful Recreations. — Recreations iil 
 the open air. Playing ball ; quoits ; nine pins, &c* 
 Skating. Dancing. Its uses and dangers. Reading 
 sometimes a recreation. Sports of the field considered. 
 
 191—194 
 
 CHAPTER IV.— Improvement of the Mind. ' 
 
 Section I. Habits of Observation. — We should 
 keep our ^ eyes open.’ Anecdote from Dr. Dwight. 
 Avoid pedantry. Anecdote of a surgeon; — of the 
 elder and younger Pliny. 195 — 199 
 
 Section II. Rules for Conversation. — Rules of pro- 
 fiting from it. Hear others. Do not interrupt them. 
 Avoid those who use vulgar or profane language. 
 Speak late yourself. Avoid great earnestness. Never 
 be overbearing. 199 — 202 
 
 Section III. On Books and Study. — How to over- 
 come a dislike to them. Lyceums, Travels, Histories, 
 Newspapers. A common mistake. Education only 
 the key to knowledge. Men have commenced stu- 
 dents at 40. Franklin always a learner. We can 
 find time for study. Practical Studies. 1. Geography. 
 How to study it. Its importance. 2. History. How 
 pursued. 3. Arithmetic. Practical arithmeticians. 
 The mere use of the pen and pencil do not give 
 a knowledge of this branch. 4. Chemistry^ and other 
 Natural Sciences. Usefulness of Chemistry. 5. Gram- 
 mar and Composition. One method of obtaining 
 a practical knowledge of these branches. 6. Letter 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 15 
 
 writing. 7. Voyages, travels, and hiography. 8. JVov~ 
 els. Not recommended, especially to those who have 
 little leisure. 9. Newspapers. Newspapers, though 
 productive of much evil, on the whole useful. Five 
 rules to assist the reader in making a judicious selec- 
 tion. Politics. History and constitution of our coun- 
 try studied. 10. Keeping a Journal. Examples. 
 Other ways of improving the mind. Blank book, 
 with pencil in our pockets. 11. Preservation of Books 
 and Papers. Books should be covered ; kept clean ; 
 used with dry hands. Turning down leaves. Using 
 books for pillows, props to windows, seats, &c. 
 
 202—229 
 
 CHAPTER V. — Social and Moral Improvement. 
 
 Section I. Female Society, in general. — Both sexes 
 should be educated together. What we are to think 
 of those who despise female society. How it polishes 
 and improves us. 230 — 234 
 
 Section II. Advice and Friendship of Mothers. 
 
 234—235 
 
 Section III. Society of Sisters — Attentions due 
 them. Their benefit. 236 — 237 
 
 Section IV. General Remarks and Advice. — Too 
 great intimacy. Avoid trifling. Beware of idolatry. 
 
 238—241 
 
 Section V, Lyceums and other Social Meetings. — - 
 
16 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Value of Lyceums, and courses of lectures. How they 
 might be improved. Their cheapness. 241 — 243 
 
 Section VI. Moral Instruction. — Sabbath Schools 
 and Bible Classes. Value of the latter. 243 — 244 
 
 Section VII. Of Female Society in reference to 
 Marriage. — Every youth should keep matrimony in 
 view. Particular advice. The wish to marry, pru- 
 dently indulged, will have a great influence on our 
 character. Error of a pedagogue. 244 — 250 
 
 CHAPTER VI. — Marriage. 
 
 Section I. Why Matrimony is a duty. — Importance 
 of the subject. Considered as a school. Early mar- 
 riage. Objections. Seven great evils from late mar 
 riages. 251 — 258 
 
 Section H. General Considerations. — Husbands and 
 wives gradually resemble each other. Considerations 
 for those who embark in matrimony. 258 — 262 
 
 ^ Section HI. Female Qualifications for Matrimony. 
 — 1. Moral Excellence. 2. Common Sense. 3. Desire 
 for improi^ement. 4. Fondness for children. Mise- 
 rable condition of a husband or wife, where this is 
 wanting. 5. Love of domestic concerns. Evils of 
 ignorance on this point. Fashionable education in 
 fault. 6. Sobriety. Definition of the term. An anec- 
 dote. Love of mental and bodily excitement usually 
 ponnected. 7. Industry. How to judge whether a 
 
CONTENTS* 
 
 17 
 
 l^rson is industrious. 8. Early rising. A mark of 
 industry. Late rising difficult of cure. 9. Frugality. 
 Its importance shown. 10. Personal Neatness. Its 
 comforts. 11. A good temper. Its importance illus- 
 trated. 12. Accomplishments. 263 — 305 
 
 CHAPTER VII. — Criminal Behavoir. 
 
 Section I. Inconstancy and Seduction. — Constancy. 
 Its importance illustrated by an example. Cruelty of 
 sporting with the affections of a female. Opinion of 
 Burgh. 306 — 313 
 
 Section II. Licentiousness. — Most common in 
 cities. New Orleans. Hint to legislators. A horrid 
 picture. Not wholly imaginary. Avoid the first erring 
 step. Example of premature decrepitude. Anecdote 
 of C. S. Solitary vice. This vice compared with 
 intemperance. A set of wretches exposed. Apologies 
 sometimes made. Nature of the evils this error pro- 
 duces. The law of God. Medical testimony. Entire 
 celibacy, or purity, not unfavorable to health. Youth 
 ought to consider this, and study the human frame. 
 Causes of the error in question. 1. False delicacy. 
 Our half Mohammedan education. 2. Books ^ Pic- 
 tureSj &c. Great extent of this evil. Opinion of Dr. 
 Dwight. 3. Obscene and improper songs. Anecdote 
 of a schoolmaster. 4. Double entendres. Parental 
 errors. Evening Parties. 314 — 337 
 
 2 ^ 
 
18 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Section III. Diseases of Licentiousness. Nine or 
 ten of them enumerated. The ninth described. Four 
 examples of suffering. When the young ought to 
 tremble. Happiness of having never erred. What 
 books may be safely and usefully consulted. Extract 
 from Rees’ Cyclopedia. Other forms of disease. Of 
 excess. All degrees of vice are excessive. Duties of 
 Parents as guides to the young. Obligations of Medi- 
 cal men. Concluding Remarks. 337 — 354 
 
 ADDITIONAL CHAPTER. 
 
 Section 1. Choice of Friends. Importance of a few 
 female friends. Caution necessary in making a choice. 
 Story of Lucius — his mistake. Reflections. Character 
 of friends. Select a small number only. 
 
 Section II. Rudeness of manners. Wearing nata 
 in the house — its tendency. Practical questions. Man- 
 ners in families. , 
 
 Section III. Self-praise. Egotism. We should say 
 little about ourselves. 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 The young are often accused of being thought- 
 less, rash, and unwilling to be advised. 
 
 That the former of these charges is in a great 
 measure just, is not denied. Indeed, what else 
 could be expected? They are thoughtless^ for they 
 are yet almost strangers to the world, and its cares 
 and perplexities. They are forward, and some- 
 times rash; but this generally arises from that 
 buoyancy of spirits, which health and vigor im- 
 part. True, it is to be corrected, let the cause be 
 what it may; but we shall correct with more 
 caution, and probably with greater success, when 
 we understand its origin. 
 
 That youth are unwilling to he advised, as a gen 
 eral rule, appears to me untrue. At least I have not 
 found it so. When the feeling does exist, I believe 
 it often arises from parental mismanagement, or 
 from an unfortunate method of advising. 
 
20 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 The infant seeks to grasp the burning lamp;— - 
 the parent endeavors to dissuade him from it. At 
 length he grasps it, and suffers the consequences. 
 Finally, however, if the parent manages him pro- 
 perly, he learns to follow his advice, and obey his 
 indications, in order to avoid pain. Such, at least, 
 is the natural result of management. And 
 
 the habit of seeking parental counsel, once formed, 
 is not easily eradicated. It is true that temptation 
 and forgetfulness may lead some of the yomig 
 occasionally to grasp the lamp, even after they are 
 told better; but the consequent suffering generally 
 re^ores them to their reason. It is only when the 
 parent neglects or refuses to give advice, and for 
 a long time manifests little or no sympathy with his 
 child, that the habit of filial reliance and confidence 
 is destroyed. In fact there are very few children 
 indeed, however improperly managed, who do not 
 in early life acquire a degree of this confiding, 
 inquiring, counsel-seeking disposition. 
 
 Most persons, as they grow old, forget that they 
 have ever been young themselves. This greatly 
 disqualifies them for social enjoyment. It was 
 wisely said; ^ He who would pass the latter part of 
 his life with honor and decency, must, when he is 
 young, consider that he shall one day be old, and 
 when he is old, remember that he has once been 
 young.’ But if forgetfulness on this point disqual- 
 ifies a person for 56 ^ enjoyment, how much more 
 for that whichas social.^ 
 
INTRODUCTIOIf. 
 
 21 
 
 Still more does it disqualify us for giving advice. 
 While a lad, I was at play, one day, with my mates, 
 when two gentlemen observing us, one of them 
 said to the otherj ^ Do you think you ever acted as 
 foolishly as those boys do ?’ ^ Why yes; I suppose 
 I did; ’ was the reply. ^ Well,’ said the other, 
 never did; — I know I never did.’ 
 
 Both of these persons has the name of parent, 
 but he who could not believe he had ever acted like 
 a child himself, is greatly destitute of the proper 
 parental spirit. He never — or scarcely ever — puts 
 himself to the slightest inconvenience to promote, 
 directly, the happiness of the young, even for half 
 an hour. 
 
 He supposes every child ought to be grave, like 
 himself. If he sees the young engaged in any of 
 those exercises which are really adapted to their 
 years, he regards it as an entire loss of time, besides 
 being foolish and unreasonable. He would have 
 them at work, or at their studies. Whereas there 
 is scarcely anything that should give a parent more 
 pleasure than to see his children, in their earliest 
 years, enjoying that flow of spirits, which leads 
 them forth to active, vigorous, blood-stirring sports. 
 
 Of all persons living, he who does not remember 
 th at he has once been young, is the most completely 
 disqualified for giving youthful counsel. Hg ob- 
 trudes his advice occasionally, when the youth is 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 S2 
 
 already under temptation, and borne along with 
 the force of a vicious current; but because he dis- 
 regards it, he gives him up as heedless, perhaps as 
 obstinate. If advice is afterwards asked, his man- 
 ners are cold and repulsive. Or perhaps he frowns 
 him away, telling him he neyeY follows his advice, 
 and therefore it is useless to give it. So common 
 is it to treat the young with a measure of this spe- 
 cies of roughness, that I cannot wonder the maxim 
 has obtained that the young, generally, ^ despise 
 counsel.’ And yet, I am fully convinced, no max- 
 im is farther from the truth. 
 
 When we come to the very close of life, we can- 
 not transfer, in a single moment, that knowledge 
 of the world and of human nature which an expe- 
 rience of 70 years has afforded us. If, therefore, 
 from any cause whatever, we have not already 
 dealt it out to those around us, it is likely to be lost; 
 — and lost for ever. Now is it not a pity that what 
 the young would regard as an invaluable treasure, 
 could they come at it in such a manner, and at 
 such seasons, as would be agreeable to them, and 
 that, too, which the old are naturally so fond of 
 distributing, should be buried with their bodies.^ 
 
 Let me counsel the young, then, to do every 
 thing they can, consistently with the rules of good 
 breeding, to draw forth from the old the treasures 
 of which I have been speaking. Let them even 
 make sonie sacrifice of that buoyant feeling whichi 
 
INTRODUCTIOJT. 
 
 28 
 
 at their age, is so apt to predominate. Let them 
 conform^ for the time, in some measure, to the 
 gravity of the aged, in order to gain their favor, 
 and secure their friendship and confidence. I do 
 not ask them wholly to forsake society, or their 
 youthful pastimes for this purpose, or to become 
 grave habitually; for this would be requiring too 
 much. But there are moments when old people, 
 however disgusted they may be with the young, do 
 so far unbend themselves as to enter into cheerful 
 and instructive conversation. I can truly say that 
 when a boy, some of my happiest hours were spent 
 in the society of the aged — those too, who were 
 not always what they should have been. The old 
 live in the past, as truly as the young do in the 
 future. Nothing more delights them than to relate 
 stories of mlden time,’ especially when themselves 
 were the heroes. But they will not relate them, 
 unless there is somebody to hear. Let the young 
 avail themselves of this propensity, and make the 
 most of it. Some may have been heroes in waiq 
 some in travelling the country; others in hunting, 
 fishing, agriculture or the mechanic arts; and it 
 may be that here and there one will boast of his 
 skill, and relate stories of his success in that noblest 
 of arts and employments — the making of his fel- 
 low creatures wise, and good, and happy. 
 
 In conversation with all these persons, you will 
 doubtless hear much that is uninteresting. But 
 
INTRODUCTION, 
 
 !^4 
 
 where will you find anything pure or perfect below 
 the sun ? The richest ores contain dross. At the 
 same time you cannot fail, unless the fault is your 
 own, to learn many valuable things from them alL 
 From w'ar stories, you will learn history; from 
 accounts of travels, geography, human character^ 
 manners and customs; and from stories of the good 
 or ill treatment which may have been experienced^ 
 you will learn how to secure the one, and avoid 
 the other. From one person you will learn one 
 thing; from another something else. Put these 
 shreds together, and in time you will form quite 
 a number of pages in the great book of human 
 nature. You may thus, in a certain sense, live 
 several lives in one. 
 
 One thing more is to be remembered. The 
 more you have, the more you are bound to give. 
 Common sense, as well as the Scripture, says, ‘ It 
 is more blessed to give than to receive.’ Remem-^ 
 ber that as you advance in years you are bound to 
 avoid falling into the very errors which, ‘ out of 
 your own mouth’ you have ' condemned ’ in those 
 who have gone before you; and to make your-" 
 selves as acceptable as you can to the young, in 
 order to secure their confidence, and impart to 
 them, little by little, those accumulated treasures 
 of experience which you have acquired in going 
 through life, but which must otherwise, to a very 
 great extent, be buried with you in your graves^ 
 
INTRODUCTION^ 
 
 25 
 
 But, my young friends, there is one method be- 
 sides conversation, in which you may come at the 
 wisdom of the aged ; and that is through the me- 
 dium of books. Mamj old persons have written 
 well, and you cannot do better than to avail your- 
 selves of their instructions. This method has even 
 one advantage over conversation. In the perusal 
 of a book, you are not so often prejudiced or disgust- 
 ed by the repulsive and perhaps chilling manner 
 of him who wrote it, as you might have been from 
 his conversation and company. 
 
 I cannot but indulge the hope that you will find 
 some valuable information and useful advice in this 
 little book. It has cost me much labor to embody, 
 in so small a compass, the results of my own expe- 
 rience on sucn a variety of subjects, and to arrange 
 my thoughts in such a manner as seemed to me 
 most likely to arrest and secure your attention. 
 The work, however, is not wholly tlie result of my 
 own experience, for I have derived many valuable 
 thoughts from other writers. 
 
 An introductory chapter or preface is usually 
 rather dry, but if this should prove sufficiently 
 interesting to deserve your attention till you have 
 read it, and the table of contents, thoroughly, I have 
 strong hopes that you will read the rest of the book. 
 And in accordance with my own principles, I be- 
 lieve you will tiy to follow my advice ; for I take it 
 3 
 
26 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 for granted that none will purchase and read this 
 work but such as are willing to be advised. I 
 repeat k, therefore — I go upon the presumption 
 that my advice will, in the main, be followed. 
 Not at every moment of your lives, it is true ; for 
 you will be exposed on all sides to temptation, and, 
 1 fear, sometimes fall. But when you come to re- 
 view the chapter (for I hope I have written nothing 
 but what is worth a second reading) which contains 
 directions on that particular subject wherein you 
 have failed, and find, too, how much you have 
 suffered by neglecting counsel, and rashly seizing 
 the lamp^ I am persuaded you will not soon fall 
 again in that particular direction. 
 
 In this view, I submit these pages to the youth 
 of our American States. If the work should not 
 please them, I shall be so far from attributing it to 
 any fault or perversity of theirs, that I shall at once 
 conclude I have not taken a wise and proper 
 method of presenting my instructions. 
 
THE YOUNG MAN’S GUIDE. 
 
 CHAPTER L 
 
 tje jFormation of €:i)aracter. • 
 
 Section I. Importance of aiming high, in the for^ 
 mation of character. 
 
 To those who have carefully examined the intro- 
 duction and table of contents, I am now prepared 
 to give the following general direction ; Fix upon a 
 high standard of character. To be thought well of, 
 is not sufhcient. The point you are to aim at, is, 
 the greatest possible degree of usefulness. 
 
 Some may thLnk there is danger of setting too 
 high a standard of action. I have heard teachers 
 contend that a child will learn to write much faster 
 by having an inferior copy, than by imitating one 
 which is comparatively perfect ; ‘ because,’ say they, 
 ‘ a pupil is liable to be discouraged if you give him 
 di perfect copy but if it is only a little in advance 
 of his own, he will take courage from the belief 
 that lie shall soon be able to equal it.’ I am fully 
 
28 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 A perfect copy. Aim higli. Some have no leading object. 
 
 convinced, however, that this is not so. The more 
 perfect the copy you place before the child, pro- 
 vided it be ivritten, and not engraved^ the better. 
 For it must always be possible in the nature of 
 things, for the child to imitate it ; and what is not 
 absolutely impossible, every child may reasonably 
 be expected to aspii*e after, on the principle, that 
 whatever man has done, man may do. 
 
 So in human conduct, generally; whatever is 
 possible should be aimed at. Did my limits permit, 
 1 might show that it is a part of the divine economy 
 to place before his rational creatures a perfect stand- 
 ard of action, and to make it their duty to come up 
 to it. 
 
 He who only aims at little, will accomplish, but 
 little. Expect great things, and attempt great things. 
 A neglect of this rule produces more of the diffe- 
 rence in the character, conduct, and success of men, 
 than is commonly supposed. Some start in life 
 without any leading object at all ; some with a low 
 one; and some aim high: — and just in proportion 
 to the elevation at which they aim, will be their 
 progress and success. It is an old proverb that he 
 who aims at the sun, will not reach it, to be sure , 
 but his arrow will fly higher than if he aims at an 
 object on a level with himself. Exactly so is it, in 
 the formation of character, except in one point. To 
 reach the sun with a arrow is an impossibility, but a 
 youth may aim high without attempting impossi- 
 bilities. 
 
ON HAVING A HIGH AIM. 29 
 
 Resolve to be useful. Eminent models. Anecdote, 
 
 Let me repeat the assurance that, as a general 
 rule, you may be ivliatever you tvill resolve to be. De- 
 termine tliat you will be useful in the world, and 
 you shall be. Young men seem to me utterly un- 
 conscious of what they are capable of being and 
 doing. Them efforts are often few and feeble, be- 
 cause they are not awake to a full conviction that 
 any thing great or distinguished is in their power. 
 
 But whence came an Alexander, a Ceesar, a 
 Charles XII, or a Napoleon ? Or whence the bet- 
 ter order of spmits, — a Paul, an Alfred, a Luther, a 
 Howard, a Penn, a Washington ? Were not these 
 men once like yourselves? What but self exertion, 
 aided by the blessing of Heaven, rendered these 
 men so conspicuous for usefulness ? Rely upon it, 
 — what these men once were, you may be. Or at 
 the least, you may make a nearer approach to them, 
 than 3"ou are ready to believe. Resolution is almost 
 omnipotent. Those little words, try, and begin, are 
 sometimes great in their results. ‘ I can’t,’ never ac- 
 complished anything; — ‘I will try,’ has achieved 
 wonders. 
 
 This position might be proved and illustrated 
 by innumerable facts ; but one must suffice. 
 
 A young man who had wasted })is patrimony by 
 profligacy, wliilst standing, one day, on the brow 
 of a precipice from which he had determined to 
 throw himself, formed tlie sudden resolution to re- 
 gain what he had lost. The purpose thus formed was 
 kept; and though he began by shoveling a load of 
 
30 
 
 THE YOUNG man’s GUIDE. 
 
 '! Use of Biography. Prospects of a happy age. 
 
 coals into a cellar, for which he only received twelve 
 and a half cents, yet he proceeded from one step to 
 another till he more than recovered his lost posses- 
 sions, and died worth sixty thousand pounds sterl- 
 ing. 
 
 You will derive much advantage from a careful 
 perusal of the lives of eminent individuals, especi- 
 ally of those who were good as well as great. You 
 will derive comparatively little benefit from read- 
 ing the lives of those scourges of their race who 
 have drenched the earth in blood, except so far as 
 it tends to show you what an immense blessing 
 they might have been to the world, had they de- 
 voted to the work of human improvement those 
 mighty energies which were employed in human 
 destruction. Could the physical and intellectual en- 
 ergy of Napoleon, the order and method of Alfred, 
 the industry, frugality, and wisdom of Franklin 
 and Washington, and the excellence and untiring 
 perseverance of Paul, and Penn, and Howard, be 
 united in each individual of the rising generation, 
 w^ho can set limits to the good, which they might, 
 and inevitably would accomplish ! Is it too much 
 to hope that some happier age will witness the real- 
 ity ? Is it not even probable that the rising genera- 
 tion may afford many such examples ? 
 
MOTIVES TO ACTION. 31 
 
 Pursuit of happiness. Selfishness. Regard to friends. 
 
 Section II. On Motives to action. 
 
 Not a few young men either have no fixed prin- 
 ciples, no governing motive at all, or they are in- 
 fluenced by those which are low' and unworthy. It 
 is painful to say this, but it is too true. On such, 
 I would press the importance of the following con- 
 siderations. 
 
 Among the motives to action which I would pre- 
 sent, the first is a regard to your own happiness. To 
 diis you are by no means indifiTerent at present. 
 Nay, the attainment of happiness is your primary 
 object. You seek it in every desire, word, and ac- 
 aon. But you sometimes mistake the road that 
 leads to it, either for the w^ant of a friendly hand to 
 guide you, or because you refuse to be guided. Or 
 what is most common, you grasp at a smaller good, 
 which is near, and apparently certain, and in so 
 doing cut yourselves off from the enjoyment of a 
 good which is often infinitely greater, though more 
 remote. 
 
 Let me urgp, in the second place, a regard for 
 the family to w'hich you belong. It is true you 
 can never fully know, unless the bitterness of in- 
 gratitude should teach you, the extent of the duty 
 you owe to your relatives ; and especially to your 
 parents. You cannot know — at least till you are 
 parents yourselves, — how their hearts are bound 
 up in yours. But if you do not in some measum 
 
82 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Regard to society. Duties of the young, as Americans. 
 
 know it, till ibis late period, you are not fit to be 
 parents. 
 
 In the third place, it is due to society, particu^ 
 larly to the neighborhood or sphere in which you 
 move, and to the associations to which you may 
 belong, that you strive to attain a very great eleva- 
 tion of character. Here, too, I am well aware 
 that it is impossible, at your age, to perceive fully, 
 how much you have it in your power to contribute, 
 if }'ou will, to the happiness of those around you ; 
 and here again let me refer you to the advice and 
 guidance of aged friends. 
 
 But, fourthly, it is due to the nation and age to 
 which you belong, that you fix upon a high stand- 
 ard of character. This work is intended for 
 American youth, American! did I say.^ This 
 word, alone, ought to call forth all your energies, 
 and if there be a slumbering faculty within you, 
 arouse it to action. Never, since the creation, were 
 the youth of any age or country so imperiously 
 called upon to exert themselves, as those whom 1 
 now address. Never before were there so many 
 important interests at stake. Never were such 
 immense results depending upon a generation of 
 men, as upon that which is now approaching the 
 stage of action. These rising millions are destined, 
 according to all human probability, to form by far 
 the greatest nation that ever constituted an entire 
 community of freemen, since the world began. To 
 form tlie character of these millions involves a 
 
MOTIVES TO ACTION. 33 
 
 How much depends on the young. Appeal. Duty to God. 
 
 gi'eater amount of responsibility, individual and col- 
 lective, than any otlier work to which humanity 
 has ever been called. And the reasons are, it seems 
 to me, obvious. 
 
 Now it is for you, my young friends, to determine 
 whether these weiglity responsibilities shall be ful- 
 filled. It is for you to decide whether this greatest 
 of free nations shall, at the same time, be the best. 
 And as every nation is made up of individuals, you 
 are each, in reality, called upon daily, to settle this 
 question: ‘Shall the United States, possessing the 
 most ample means of instruction within the reach 
 of nearly all her citizens, the happiest govern- 
 ment, the healthiest of climates, the greatest abun- 
 dance of the best and most wholesome nutriment, 
 with every other possible means for developing all 
 the powers of human nature, be peopled with the 
 most vigorous, powerful, and happy race of human 
 beings which the world has ever known ? ’ 
 
 There is another motive to which I beg leave, 
 for one moment, to direct your attention. You are 
 bound to fix on a high standard of action, from the 
 desire of obeying the will of God. He it is who 
 has cast your lot in a country which — all things 
 considered — is the happiest below the sun. He 
 it is who has given you such a wonderful capacity 
 for happiness, and instituted the delightful rela- 
 tions of parent and child, and brother and sister, 
 and friend and neighbor. I might add. He it is, 
 too, who has given you the name J^merican, — a 
 
34 
 
 Objection. 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Founded on mistake. Explanation. 
 
 name which alone furnishes a passport to many 
 civilized lands, and like a good countenance, or a 
 becoming dress, prepossesses every body in your 
 favor. 
 
 But what young man is there, I may be asked, 
 who is not influenced more or less, by all the mo- 
 tives which have been enumerated ? Who is there 
 that does not seek his own happiness ? Who does 
 not desire to please his parents and other relatives, 
 bis friends and his neighbors ? Who does not wish 
 to be distinguished for his attachment to country 
 and to liberty ? Nay, who has not even some regard, 
 in his conduct, to the will of God ? 
 
 I grant that many young men, probably the most 
 of those into whose hands this book will be likely 
 to fall, are influenced, more or less, by all these con- 
 siderations. All pursue their own happiness, no 
 doubt. By far the majority of the young have, 
 also, a general respect for the good opinion of 
 others, and the laws of the Creator. 
 
 Still, do not thousands and tens of thousands mis- 
 take, as I have already intimated, in regard to what 
 really promotes their own happiness ? Is there any 
 certainty that the greatest happiness of a creature can 
 be secured without consulting the will of the Crea- 
 tor? And do not those young persons greatly err, 
 who suppose that they can secure a full amount, even 
 of earthly blessings, without conforming, witli the 
 utmost strictness, to those rules for conduct, v/hich 
 the Bible and the Book of Nature, so plainly make 
 known ? 
 
MOTIVES TO ACTION* 35 
 
 Avarice, Sensuality. Ambition. Their tendency. 
 
 Too many young men expect happiness from 
 wealth. Tliis is their great object of study and 
 action, by night and by day. Not that they suppose 
 there is an inherent value in the wealth itself, hut 
 only that it will secure the means of procuring the 
 happiness they so ardently desire. But the farther 
 they go, ill the pursuit of wealth, for the sake of 
 hajipiness, especially if successful in their plans and 
 business, the more they forget their original pur- 
 pose, and seek wealth for the sake of wealth. To 
 get rich, is their principal motive to .action. 
 
 So it is in regard to the exclusive pursuit of 
 sensual pleasure, or civil distinction. Tlie farther 
 we go, the more we lose our original character, 
 and the more we become devoted to the objects 
 of pursuit, and incapable of being roused by other 
 motives. 
 
 The laws of God, whether we find them in the 
 constitution of the universe around us, or go higher 
 and seek them in the revealed word, are founded 
 on a thorough knowledge of human nature, and ail 
 its tendencies. Do you study natural science — the 
 laws which govern matter, animate and inanimate? 
 What is the lesson which it constantly inculcates, 
 but that it is man’s highest interest not to violate or 
 attempt to violate the rides which Infinite Wisdom 
 has adopted ; and that every violation of his laws 
 brings punishment along with it? Do you study 
 the laws of God, as revealed in the Bible ? iVhd do 
 not they, too, aim to inculcate the necessity of con- 
 
36 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Study of nature. Morality. Something still higher. 
 
 stant and endless obedience to his will, at the same 
 time that their rejection is accompanied by the 
 severest penalties which heaven and earth can in- 
 flict.^ What, in short, is the obvious design of 
 the Creator, wherever and whenever any traces of 
 his character and purposes can be discovered? 
 What, indeed, but to show us that it is our most 
 obvious duty and interest to love and obey Him ? 
 
 The young man whose highest motives are to 
 seek his own happiness, and please his friends and 
 neighbors, and the world around him, does much. 
 This should never be denied. He merits much — 
 not in the eye of God, for of tliis I have nothing to 
 say in this volume — but from his fellow mon. And 
 although he may have never performed a single 
 action from a desire to obey God, and make his 
 fellow men really better^ as well as happier, he may 
 still have been exceedingly useful, compared with a 
 large proportion of mankind. 
 
 But suppose a young man possesses a character 
 of this stamp — and such there are. How is he 
 ennobled, how is the dignity of his nature advanced, 
 how is he elevated from the rank of a mere com- 
 panion of creatures, — earthly creatures, too, — to 
 that of a meet companion and fit associate for the 
 inhabitants of the celestial world, and the Father of 
 all ; when to these traits, so excellent and amiable in 
 themselves, is joined the pure and exalted desire to 
 pursue his studies and his employments, his pleas- 
 ures and his pastimes — in a word, every thing — 
 
MOTIVES TO ACTION. 37 
 
 Love of God the highest motive. How it is shown. 
 
 even the most trifling concern vrhich is ivcMh doing, 
 exactly as God would wish to have it done ; and 
 make the means of so doing, his great and daily 
 study ? 
 
 This, then, brings us to the highest of human 
 motives to action, the love of God. Thou shalt love 
 the Lord thy God supremely, and thou shalt love 
 thy neighbor as thyself, are the two great commands 
 which bind the human family together. When 
 our love to God is evinced by pure love to man, 
 and it is our constant prayer, ‘ Lord what wilt thou 
 have me to do then we come under the influence 
 of motives which are worthy of creatures destined 
 to immortality. When it is our meat and drink, from 
 a sacred regard to the Father of our spirits, and of 
 all things in the universe, material and immaterial, 
 to make every thought, word and action, do good — 
 have a bearing upon the welfare of one or more, 
 and the more the better — of our race, then alone 
 do we come up to the dignity of our nature, and, 
 by Divine aid, place ourselves in the situation for 
 which the God of nature and of grace designed us. 
 
 I have thus treated, at greater length than I had at 
 first intended, of the importance of having an elevat- 
 ed aim, and of the motives to action. On the means by 
 which young men are to attain this elevation, it is the 
 purpose of this little w^ork to dwell plainly and fully. 
 These means might be classed in three great divi- 
 sions ; viz. physical, mental, and moral. Whatever re- 
 4 
 
38 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 
 
 Every person should labor. Numerous employments. 
 
 lates to the health, belongs to the first division ; what- 
 ever to the improvement of the mind, the second ; 
 and the formation of good manners and virtuous 
 habits, constitutes the thii’d. But although an ar- 
 rangement of this sort might have been more logical, 
 n would probably have been less interesting to the 
 reader. The means of religious improvement, ap- 
 ‘^ropriately so called, require a volume of themselves. 
 
 Section III. Industry, 
 
 . Nothing is more essential to usefulness and hap- 
 piness in life, than habits of industry. ‘This we 
 commanded you,’ says St. Paul, that if any would 
 not work, neither should he eat.’ Now this would 
 be the sober dictate of good sense, had the apostle 
 never spoken. It is just as true now as it was 2000 
 years ago, that no person possessing a sound mind 
 in a healthy body, has a right to live in this world 
 without labor. If he claims an existence on any 
 other condition, let him betake himself to some 
 other planet. 
 
 There are many kinds of labor. Some which 
 are no less useful than others, are almost exclusively 
 mental. You may make your own selection from a 
 very wide range of employments, all, perhaps, equal- 
 ly important to society. But something you w,ust 
 do. Even if you happen to inherit an ample for- 
 tune, your health and happiness demand that you 
 Bhould labor. To live in idleness, even if you have 
 
INDITSTIIY. 
 
 89 
 
 Slavery. 
 
 Self dependence. Misery of relying on others. 
 
 tPie means, is not only injurious to yourself, but a 
 species of fraud upon the community, and the chil- 
 dren, — if children you ever have, — who have a 
 claim upon you for what- you can earn and do. 
 
 Let me prevail with you then, when I urge you 
 to set out in life fully determined to depend chiefly 
 on yourself, for pecuniary support ; and to be in 
 this respect, independent. In a country where the 
 general rule is that a person shall rise, — if he rise at 
 all, — by Ills own merit, such a resolution is indispen- 
 sable. It is usually idle to be lookmg out for sup- 
 port from some other quarter. Suppose you should 
 obtain a place of office or trust through the friend- 
 ship, favor, or affection of others ; what then ? Why, 
 you hold your post at uncertainties. It may be 
 taken from you at almost any hour. But if you 
 depend on yourself alone, in this respect, your 
 mountain stands strong, and cannot very easily be 
 moved. 
 
 He who lives upon any thing except his own 
 labor, is incessantly surrounded by rivals. He is in 
 daily danger of being out-bidden ; his very bread 
 depends upon caprice, and he lives in a state of 
 never ceasing fear. His is not, indeed, the dog’s life, 
 ‘ hunger and idleness,’ but it is worse ; for it is ‘ idle- 
 ness with slavery f the latter being just the price of 
 the former. 
 
 Slaves, are often well fed and decently clothed; 
 but they dare not speak. They dare not be suspect- 
 ed even to think differently from their master, des- 
 
40 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Mental Slavery. We should labor as long as vve live. 
 
 pise his acts as much as they may ; — let him be 
 tyrant, drunkard, fool, or all three at once, they 
 must either be silent, or lose his approbation. 
 Though posisessing a thousand times his knowledge, 
 they yield to his assumption of superior under- 
 standing ; though knowing it is they who, in fact, do 
 all that he is paid for doing, it is destruction to them 
 to seem as if they thought any portion of the service 
 belonged to themselves. 
 
 You smile, perhaps, and ask what all this tirade 
 against slavery means. But remember, there is 
 slavery of several kinds. There is merital slavery 
 as well as bodily ; and tlie former is not confined to 
 any particular division of the United States. 
 
 Begin, too, with a determination to labor through 
 life. There are many who suppose that when they 
 have secured to themselves a competence, they shall 
 sit with folded arms, in an easy chair, the rest of 
 their days, and enjoy it. But they may be assured 
 that this will never do. The very fact of a person’s 
 having spent the early and middle part of life in 
 active usefulness, creates a necessity, to the body 
 and mind, of its continuance. By this is not meant 
 that men should labor as hard in old age, even in 
 proportion to their strength, as in early life. Youth 
 requires a great variety and amount of action, matu- 
 rity not so much, and age still less. Yet so much 
 as age does, in fact, demand, is more necessary than 
 to those who are younger. Children are so tena- 
 cious of life, that they do not appear to suffer 
 
ir>DUSTRT. 
 
 41 
 
 Evils of idleness. Anecdote. Labor in the open air. 
 
 immcdiatdy, if exercise is neglected ; though a day 
 of reckoning must finally come. 
 
 Hence we see the reason why those who i-etire 
 from business towards the close of life, so often 
 become diseased, in body and mind ; and instead of 
 enjoying life, or making those around them happy, 
 become a source of misery to themselves and 
 others. 
 
 Most people have a general belief in the impor- 
 tance of industrious habits ; and yet not a few mal^e 
 strange work in endeavoring to form them. Some 
 attempt to do it by compulsion ; others by flattery. 
 Some think it is to be accomplished by set lessons, 
 in spite of example ; others by example alone. 
 
 A certain father who was deeply convinced of 
 the importance of forming his sons to habits of in- 
 dustry, used to employ them whole days in remov- 
 ing and replacing heaps of stones. This was well 
 intended, and arose from regarding industry as a 
 Iiigh accomplishment; but there is some danger of 
 defeating our own pui^ose in this way, and of pro- 
 ducing disgust Besides this, labor enough can 
 usually be obtained which is obviously profitable. 
 
 All persons, without exception, ought to labor 
 more or less, every day in the open air. Of the truth 
 of this opinion, the public are beginning to be sensi- 
 ble; and hence we hear much said, lately, about 
 manual labor schools. Those who, from particular 
 circumstances, cannot labor m the open air, should 
 substitute in its place some active mechanical en> 
 
42 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 High notions. Too proud to labor. Consequences. 
 
 ployment, together with suitable calisthenic or gym- 
 nastic exercises. 
 
 It is a great misfortune of the present day, that 
 almost every one is, by his ovm estimate, raised 
 above his real state of life. Nearly every person 
 you meet with is aiming at a situation in which he 
 shall be exempted from the drudgery of laboring 
 with his hands. 
 
 Now we cannot all become lords'* and ^ gentle- 
 men^^ if we would. There must be a large part of 
 us, after all, to make and mend clothes and houses, 
 and carry on trade and commerce, and, in spite of 
 all that we can do, the far gi'eater part of us must 
 actually tvork at something ; otherwise we fall under 
 the sentence ; ‘ He who will not work shall not eat,'* 
 Yet, so strong is the propensity to be thought ‘ gen- 
 tlemen so general is this desire amongst the youth 
 of this proud money making nation, that thousands 
 upon thousands of them are, at this moment, in a 
 state which may end in starvation; not so much 
 because they are too lazy to earn their bread, as 
 because they are too proud ! 
 
 And what are the consequences^ A lazy youth 
 becomes a burden to those parents, whom he 
 ought to comfort, if not support. Always aspiring 
 to something higher than he can reach, his life is 
 a life of disappointment and shame. If marriage 
 hefall him, it is a real affliction, involving others as 
 well as himself. His lot is a thousand times worse 
 tlian that of the common laborer. Nineteen times 
 
ON ECONOMr. 43 
 
 False economy^ Examples of it. Franklin’s maxim. 
 
 out of twenty a premature death awaits him : and, 
 alas ! how numerous are the cases in which that 
 death is most miserable, not to say ignominious ! 
 
 Section IV. On Economy. 
 
 There is a false, as well as a true economy. I 
 have seen an individual who, with a view to econo- 
 my, was in the habit of splitting his wafei-s. Some- 
 times a thick wafer can be split into two, which 
 will answer a very good purpose; but at others, 
 both parts fall to pieces. Let the success be ever so 
 complete, how'ever, all who reflect for a moment on 
 the value of time, must see it to be a losing process. 
 
 I knew a laboring man who would hire a horse, 
 and spend the greater part of a day, in going six or 
 eight miles and purchasing half a dozen bushels of 
 grain, at sixpence less a bushel than he must have 
 given near home. Thus to gain fifty cents, he sub- 
 jected himself to an expense, in time and money, of 
 one hundred and fifty. These are very common 
 examples of defective economy ; and of that ‘ with- 
 holding’ which the Scripture says ‘tends to pov- 
 erty.’ 
 
 Economy in time is economy of money — for it 
 needs not Franklin to tell us that time is equivalent 
 to money. Besides, I never knew a person who 
 was economical of the one, who was not equally so 
 of the other. Economy of time will, therefore, be 
 an important branch of study. 
 
44 THE YOtTNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 'Take care of pence and minutes. Letter from a teacher. 
 
 But the study is rather difficult. For though 
 every young man of common sense knows that an 
 hour is sixty minutes, very few seem to know that 
 sixty minutes make an hour. On this account 
 many waste fragments of time, — of one, two, three 
 or five minutes each — without hesitation, and ap- 
 parently without regret ; — never thinking that fifteen 
 or twenty such fragments are equal to a full hour. 
 ‘ Take care of the pence, the pounds will take care 
 of themselves,’ is not more true, than that hours 
 will take care of themselves, if you will only secure 
 the minutes. * 
 
 In order to form economical habits, several hn- 
 
 * A teacher, who has been pleased to say much in behalf 
 of this work, and to do much to extend its circulation, in a 
 late letter, very modestly, but properly makes the following 
 inquiry; ‘Has not Dr. Franklin’s precept, time is money , 
 made many misers'? Is it not used without sufficient quali- 
 fication'? ’ 
 
 There is no good thing, nor any good advice, but what 
 may be abused, if used or taken without qualification. 
 There may be misers in regard to time, as well as money; 
 and no one can become miserly in the one respect without 
 soon becoming so in the other. He who cannot or rather 
 will not give any portion of his time to promote the happi- 
 ness of those around him, in the various ways of doing good, 
 which perpetually offer, lest it should take from his means of 
 earning property, is as much to be pitied as he who hoards 
 all his dollars and cents. Still it is true that youth should 
 husband well their time, and avoid wasting either that or 
 their money. 
 
ON ECONOMT. 
 
 45 
 
 A time for every thing. Anecdote. All have leisure. 
 
 portant points must be secured. You must have 
 for every purpose and thing a time, and place ; and 
 every thing must be done at the time, and ail tilings 
 put in their place, 
 
 1. Every thing must he done at the time, Wliether 
 you attempt little or much, let every hour have its 
 employment, in business, study, social conversation, 
 or diversion ; and unless it be on extraordinary oc- 
 casions, you must not suffer your plan to be broken. 
 It is in this way that many men who perform an 
 incredible amount of business, have abundant leis- 
 ure. And it is for want of doing business systemati- 
 cally that many who effect but little, never find 
 much leisure. They spend their lives in literally 
 ‘ doing nothing. 
 
 An eminent prime minister of Holland was asked 
 how he could perform such a vast amount of busi- 
 ness, as it was Vi--\vn he did, and yet have so much 
 leisure. ‘I do every thing at the time;’ was the 
 reply. 
 
 Some of you will say you have no room for any 
 plan of your own ; that your whole time is at the 
 will of your master, or employer. But this is not so. 
 There are few persons wlio are so entirely devoted 
 to others as not to have minutes, if not hours, every 
 day, which they can call their own. Now here it 
 is that character is tried and proved. He alone 
 who is wise in small matters, will be wise in large 
 ones. Whether your unoccupied moments amount 
 in a day to half an hour, or an hour, or two hours. 
 
46 THE TOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Reading to the purpose. Anecdote. A place for things 
 
 have somethiug to do in each of them. If it be 
 social conversation, the moment your hour arrives, 
 engage in it at once; if study, engage at once in 
 that. The very fact that you have but a very few 
 minutes at your command, will create an interest in 
 your employment during that time. 
 
 Perhaps no persons read to better purpose than 
 those who have but veiy little leisure. Some of 
 the very best minds have been formed in this man- 
 ner. To repeat their names would be to mention a 
 host of self educated men, in this and in other coun- 
 tries. To show what can be done, I will mention 
 one fact which fell under my own observation. A 
 young man, about fifteen years of age, unaccustom- 
 ed to study, and with a mind wholly undisciplined, 
 read Rollin’s Ancient History through in about 
 three months, or a fourth of a year ; and few per- 
 sons were ever more closely confined to a laborious 
 employment than he was during the whole time. 
 Now to read four such works as Rollin in a yeai*, 
 is by no means a matter to be despised. 
 
 2. Every thing should have its place. Going into 
 a shop, the other day, where a large number of per- 
 sons were employed, I observed the following 
 motto, in large letters, pasted on the side of the 
 room; ‘Put every thing in its proper place.’ I 
 found the owner of the shop to be a man of order 
 and economy. 
 
 An old gentleman of my acquaintance, who al- 
 ways had a place for every thing, made it a rule, if 
 
INDOLENCir, 
 
 47 
 
 A severe rule. Slaves to indolence. Complainers. 
 
 any thing was out of its place, and none of his chil- 
 dren could find it, to blame the whole of them* 
 This was an unreasonable measure, but produced 
 its intended effect. His whole family follow his 
 example; they have a place for every thing, and 
 they put every thing in its place. 
 
 Unless both the foregoing rules are observed, true 
 economy does not and cannot exist. But without 
 economy, life is of little comparative value to our- 
 selves or others. This trait of character is generally 
 claimed, but more rarely possessed. 
 
 Section V. Indolence, 
 
 One of the greatest obstacles in the road to excel- 
 lence, is indolence. I have known young men who 
 would reason finely on the value of time, and the 
 necessity of rising early and improving every mo- 
 ment of it. Yet I have also known these same 
 aspiring young men to lie dozing, an hour or two 
 in the morning, after the wants of nature had been 
 reasonably, and more than reasonably gratified. 
 You can no more rouse them, with all their fine, 
 arguments, than you can a log. There they 'Me, 
 completely enchained by indolence. 
 
 I have known others continually complain of the 
 shortness of time ; that they had no time for busi- 
 ness, no time for study, &c. Yet they would lavish 
 hours in yawning at a public house, or hesitating 
 whether tliey had better go to the theatre or stay; or 
 
48 
 
 THE YOUNG Ilian’s guide. 
 
 Indexision in the young Some of its evils. 
 
 whetlier they had better get up, or indulge in ‘a 
 little more slumber.’ Such people wear the most 
 galling chains, and as long as they continue to wear 
 them there is no reasoning with them. 
 
 An indolent person is scarcely human : he is half 
 quadruped, and of the most stupid species too. He 
 may have good intentions of discharging a duty, 
 while that duty is at a distance ; but let il approach, 
 let him view the time of action as near, and down 
 go his hands in languor. He wills^ perhaps; but he 
 wnwills in the next breath. 
 
 What is to be done with such a man, especially 
 if he is a young one ? He is absolutely good for 
 nothing. Business tires him ; reading fatigues him ; 
 the public service interferes with his pleasures, or 
 restrains his freedom. His life must be passed on 
 a bed of down. If he is employed, moments are as 
 hours to him — if he is amused, hours are as mo- 
 ments. In general, his whole time eludes him, he 
 lets it glide unheeded, like water under a bridge. 
 Ask him what he has done with his morning, — he 
 cannot tell you ; for he has lived without reflection, 
 and almost without knowing whether he has lived 
 at all. 
 
 The indolent man sleeps as long as it is possible 
 for him to sleep, dresses slowly, amuses himself in 
 conversation with the first person that calls upon 
 him, and loiters about till dinner. Or if he engages 
 in any employment, however important, he leaves 
 it the moment an opportunity of talking occurs. At 
 
EARLY RISING. 
 
 49 
 
 Short history of the indolent. Late hours censured. 
 
 length dinner is served up; and after lounging at 
 the table a long time, the evening will probably be 
 spent as unprofitably as the morning : and this it may 
 be, is no unfair specimen of his whole life. And is 
 not such a wretch, for it is improper to call him a 
 man — good for nothing? What is he good for.^ 
 How can any rational being be willing to spend the 
 precious gift of life in a manner so worthless, and 
 so much beneath the dignity of human nature.? 
 When he is about stepping into the grave, how can 
 he review the past with any degree of satisfaction ? 
 What is his history, whether recorded here or there, 
 — in golden letters, or on the plainest slab — but, 
 ‘ he was born’ and ‘ he died ! ’ 
 
 Section VI. Early Rising and Rest 
 
 Dr. Rush mentions a patient of his who thouglit 
 himself wonderfully abstinent because he drank no 
 spirituous or fermented liquors, except a bottle of 
 wine or so, after dinner ! 
 
 In like mahner some call it early to retire at ten 
 or eleven o^clocL Others think ten very late. Dr. 
 Good, an English writer on medicine, in treating 
 of the appropriate means of preventing the gout in 
 those who are predisposed to it, after giving direc- 
 tions in regard to diet, drink, exercise, &c., recom- 
 mends an early hour of retiring to rest. ‘By all 
 means,’ says he, ‘you should go to bed by eleven.’ 
 
 To half the population of New England such a 
 5 
 
50 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Late evening parties. Morning air. Uses of early rising. 
 
 dil'ection would seem strange ; but by the inhabitants 
 of cities and large towns, who already begin to ape 
 the customs and fashions of the old world, the 
 caution is w^ell understood. People who are in the 
 habit of making and attending parties which com- 
 mence at 9 or 10 o’clock in the evenings can hardly 
 be expected to rise with the sun. 
 
 We hear much said about the benefit of the 
 morning aii*. Many wise men have supposed the 
 common opinion on this subject to be erroneous; 
 and that the mistake has arisen from the fact that 
 being refreshed and invigorated by rest, the change 
 is ivithin instead of without ; that our physical frames 
 and mental faculties are more healthy than they 
 were the previous evening, rather than that the 
 surrounding atmosphere has altered. 
 
 Whether the morning air is more healthy or not, 
 it is certainly healthy enough. Besides, there are 
 so many reasons for early rising that if I can per- 
 suade the reader to go to bed early, I shall have 
 little fear of his lying late in the morning. 
 
 1st. He who rises early and plans his work, and 
 early sets himself about it, generally finds his busi- 
 ness go well with him the wiiole day. He has 
 taken time by the foretop ; and will be sure to go 
 before, or drive his business ; while his more tardy 
 neighbor ‘ suffers his business to drive him.’ There 
 is something striking in the feeling produced by 
 beginning a day’s work thus seasonably. It gives 
 an impulse to a man’s thoughts, speech, and actions, 
 
EARLY RISING?. 
 
 51 
 
 Sir Matthew Hale. Laborers in the field. Late rising. 
 
 which usually lasts through the clay. This is not a 
 mere whim, but sober fact ; as can be attested by 
 thousands. The person who rises late.^ usually 
 pleads (for mankind are veiy ingenious in defence 
 of what falls in with their own inclinations,) that he 
 does as much in the progress of the day, as those 
 who rise early. This may, in a few instances, be 
 true ; but in general, facts show the reverse. The 
 motions of the early riser will be more lively and 
 vigorous all day. He may, indeed, become dull 
 late in the evening, but he ought to be so. 
 
 Sir Matthew Hale said that after spending a Sun- 
 day well, the rest of the week was usually pros- 
 perous. This is doubtless to be accounted for — 
 in part at least — on the above principle. 
 
 2. In the warm season, the morning is the most 
 agreeable time for labor. Many farmers and me- 
 chanics in the country perform a good half day’s 
 work before the people of the city scarcely know 
 that the sun shines.* 
 
 3. To lie snoring late in the morning, asshnilates 
 us to the most beastly of animals. Burgh, an in- 
 genious English writer, justly observes ; ^ There is 
 no time spent more stupidly than that which some 
 luxurious people pass m a morning between sleep- 
 
 * Dr. Franklin, in view of the latter fact, wrote a humorous 
 Essay, at Paris, in which he labored hard to show the peo- 
 ple of that luxurious and dissipated city, that the sun gives 
 light as soon as it rises. 
 
52 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Second naps. Early risers long lived. Sleep before midnight. 
 
 ing and waking, after nature has been fully gratified. 
 He who is awake may be doing something : he who 
 is asleep, is receiving the refreshment necessary t.o 
 fit him for action: but the hours spent in dozing 
 and slumbering can hardly be called existence.’ 
 
 The late Dr. Smith, of Yale College, in his lectures, 
 used to urge on his hearers never to take Hhe second 
 nap,^ He said that if this rule were steadily ana 
 universally followed by persons in health, — there 
 would be no dozing or oversleeping. If, for once, 
 they should awake from the first nap before nature 
 was sufficiently restored, the next night would re- 
 store the proper balance. In laying this down as 
 a rule. Dr. Smith would, of course, except those in- 
 stances in which we are awakened by accident. 
 
 4. It has been remarked by experienced physi- 
 cians that they have seldom, if ever, known a person 
 cf great age, who was not an early riser. In enu- 
 merating the causes of longevity, Rush and Sinclair 
 both include early rising. 
 
 5. It is a trite but just maxim that one liour’s 
 sleep before midnight is worth two afterward. 
 Why it is so, would perhaps be difficult to say. 
 The power of habit is great, and as the majority 
 of children are trained to go to bed early, perhaps 
 this will in part account for the fact. So when 
 the usual hour for meal arrives, a given amount of 
 food eaten at the time, is digested in a more healthy 
 and regular manner than if eaten one, or two, or 
 three hours afterwards. Again, nature certainly 
 
EARLY RISING. 
 
 53 
 
 Economy of early rising. Estimates. Loss of health. 
 
 intended man should exercise during the day, and 
 sleep in the night. I do not say the ivhole night ; 
 because in tl^e winter and in high northern latitudes, 
 this would be devoting an unreasonable portion of 
 time to sleep. It would hardly do to sleep three or 
 four months. But in all countries, and in all cli- 
 mates, we should try to sleep half our hours before 
 • midnight. 
 
 6. The person who, instead of going to bed at 
 nine, sits up tdl eleven, and then sleeps during two 
 hours of daylight the following morning, is grossly 
 negligent of economy. For, suppose he makes this 
 his constant practice, during his whole business life, 
 say fifty years. The extra oil or tallow which he 
 would consume would not be estimated at less 
 than one cent an evening; which, in fifty years 
 would be $182.50. Not a very large sum to be 
 sure ; but, to every young man, worth saving ; since, 
 to a community of 1000 young men, the amount 
 would be no less than $182,500. Then the lossjiii 
 health and strength would be far greater, though it 
 is obvious that it cannot so easily be com])uted. 
 
 7. Once more. If an hour’s sleep before mid- 
 night is worth more than an hour in the morning, 
 then an. hour in the morning is of course worth 
 less than an hour before midnight, and a person 
 must sleep a greater number of hours in the morn- 
 ing to obtain an equal amount of rest. A person 
 retiring at eleven and rising at eight, would pro- 
 bably get no. more rest, possibly less, than a per- 
 
54 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN^S GUIDE. 
 
 More estimates. Millions of years wasted annually. 
 
 son who should sleep from nine to five ; — a period 
 one hour shorter. But if so, he actually loses an 
 hour of time a day. And you well know, if 
 Franklin had not told you so, that lime is money. 
 
 Now, if we estimate the value of this time at 
 ten cents an hour for one person in four, of the 
 population of the United States — and this is pro- 
 bably a fair estimate — the loss to an individual in a 
 year, or 313 working days, would be $ 31.30 ; and 
 in 50 years $ 1565. A sum sufficient to buy a good 
 farm in many parts of the country. The loss to a 
 population equal to that of the United States, would, 
 in fifty years, be no less than five thousand and 
 eighty-six millions of dollars ! 
 
 But this is not the whole loss. The time of 
 the young and old is beyond all price for the pur- 
 poses of mental and moral improvement. Espe- 
 cially is this true of the precious golden hours of 
 the morning. Think, then, of the immense waste 
 in a year ! At twelve hours a day, more than a 
 million of years of valuable time are wasted annu- 
 ally in the United States. 
 
 I have hitherto made my estimates on the sup- 
 position that we do not sleep too much, in the ag- 
 gregate, and that the only loss sustained arises 
 from the manner of procuring it. But suppose, 
 once more, we sleep an hour too much daily. 
 This involves a waste just twice as great as that 
 which we have already estimated. 
 
 Do you startle at these estimates I It is proper 
 
EAllLV RISING. 
 
 55 
 
 Examples of early rising. Brougham. Bonaparte. 
 
 that many of you should. You have mispent 
 time enougli. Awake your ‘drov/sy souls,’ and 
 shake off your stujiid habits. Think of Napoleon 
 breaking up the boundaries of kingdoms, and de- 
 throning kings, and to accomplish these results, go- 
 ing through with an amount of mental and bodily 
 labor that few constitutions would be equal to, 
 with only four hours of sleep in the twenty four. 
 Think of Brougham too, who works as many hours, 
 perhaps, as any man in England, and has as much 
 influence, and yet sleeps as few ; i. e., only four. 
 A hundred persons might be named, and the list 
 would include some of the greatest benefactors of 
 their race, who never think of sleeping more than 
 six hours a day. And yet many of you are scarce- 
 ly contented with eight ! 
 
 Would you conquer as Bonaparte did — not 
 states, provinces, and empires, — but would you 
 aspire to the high honor of conquering yourselves, 
 and of extending your conquests intellectually and 
 morally, you must take the necessary steps. The 
 path is a plain one ; requiring nothing but a little 
 moral courage. ‘What man has done, man may 
 do.’ I know you do not and ought not to aspire to 
 conquer kingdoms, or to become prime niinisters ; 
 but you ought to aspnre to get the victory over your- 
 selves: — a victory as much more noble than those 
 of Napoleon, and Ctesar, and Alexander, as intel- 
 lectual and moral influence are superior to mere 
 brute force. 
 
56 
 
 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Obedience tends to longevity. A youthful error. 
 
 Section VII. On Duty to Parents. 
 
 It was the opinion of a very eminent and ob- 
 serving man, that those who are obedient to pa- 
 rents, are more healthy, long lived, and happy than 
 those who are disobedient. And he reasons veiy 
 fairly on the subject. 
 
 Now I do not know whether the promise an- 
 nexed to the fifth command, (whatever might have 
 been intended, as addressed to the Jews,) has any 
 special reference to happiness in this life. I only 
 know that m general, those who are obedient to 
 parents are apt to be virtuous in other respects ; for 
 the virtues as well as the vices usually go in com- 
 panies. But that virtue in general tends to long 
 life and happiness, nobody will entertain a doubt. 
 
 I am sorry, however, to find that the young, 
 when they approach adult years, are apt to regard 
 authority as irksome. It should not be so. So 
 long as they remain under the parental roof, they 
 ought to feel it a pleasure to conform to the wishes of 
 the parents in all the arraignments of the family, if 
 not absolutely unreasonable. And even in the latter 
 case, it is my own opinion — and one which has not 
 been hastily formed, either — that it would be better 
 to submit, with cheerfulness ; and for three reasons. 
 
 1st. For the sake of your own reputation ; which 
 will always be endangered by disobedience, how- 
 ever unjust the parental claim may be. 
 
DUTY TO PARENTS. 
 
 57 
 
 Reasons for obedience. God’s will. liOaving home hastily. 
 
 2d. From a love of your parents, and a sense of 
 what you owe them for their kind care ; togetlier 
 with a conviction that perfect rectitude is not to 
 be expected. You will find error, more or 
 less, eveiy where around you — even in your- 
 selves ; why should you expect perfection in your 
 parents ? 
 
 3d. Because it is better to suffer wrong than to 
 do wrong. Perhaps there is nothing which so im- 
 proves human character, as suffering wrongfully; 
 although the world may be slow to admit the prin- 
 ciple. More than this ; God himself has said a 
 great deal about obedience to parents. 
 
 If real evils multiply so that a young man finds 
 lie cannot remain in his father’s house, without 
 suffering not only in his feelings, but permanently 
 in his temper and disposition, I will not say that 
 it is never best to leave it. I do not believe, how- 
 ever, there is often any such necessity. Of those 
 who leave their paternal home on this plea, I be- 
 lieve nine hundred and ninety-nine in a thou- 
 sand might profitably remain, if they would ; and 
 that a very large number would find the fault 
 in themselves — in their own temper, disposition or 
 mistaken views — rather than in their parents. 
 
 And what is to be gained by going away ? Un- 
 fortunately this is a question too seldom asked by 
 restless, or headstrong youths ; and when asked and 
 answered, it is usually found that their unhappy 
 experience proves the answer to have been incor- 
 
58 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Case of Franklin. Attractive sight. A just maxim. 
 
 reel. I have seldom known a youth turn out well 
 who left his parents or his guardian or master. 
 On this subject, Franklin, I know, is often trium- 
 phantly referred to ; but for one such instance as 
 that, I hazard nothing in saying there are hun- 
 dreds of a contrary character. Within the circle 
 of my own ob.servation, young men who leave in 
 this manner, have wished themselves back again a 
 thousand times. 
 
 But be this as it may, so long as you remain in 
 the family, if you are 70 years of age, by all means 
 yield to authority implicitly, and if possible, cheer- 
 fully. Avoid, at least, altercation and reproaches. 
 If things do not go well, fix your eye upon some 
 great example of suffering wrongfully, and endea- 
 vor to profit by it. 
 
 There is no sight more attractive than that of 
 a well ordered family ; one in which every child, 
 whether five years old or fifty, submits cheerful- 
 ly to those rules and regulations which parental 
 authority has thought fit to impose. It is, to use a 
 strong expression, an image of heaven. But, ex- 
 actly in the same proportion, a family of the con- 
 trary character resembles the regions below. 
 
 Nor is this all. It is an ancient maxim, — and 
 however despised by some of the modems, none 
 can be more true, — that he only is fit to com- 
 mand who has first learned to obey. Obedience, 
 is, in fact, the great lesson of human life. We first 
 Icara to yield our will to the dictates of parental 
 
FAITHFULNESS. 
 
 59 
 
 Lessons of obedience. Study them early. Faithfulness. 
 
 love and wisdom. Through them we learn to 
 yield submissively to the great laws of the Creator, 
 as established in the material world. We learn to 
 avoid, if possible, the flame, the hail, the severity of 
 the cold, the lightning, the tornado, and the earth- 
 quake ; and we do not choose to fall from a preci- 
 pice, to have a heavy body fall on us, to receive 
 vitriol or arsenic into our stomachs, (at least in 
 health) or to remain a very long time, immersed 
 in water, or buried in the earth. We submit also 
 to the government under which we live. All 
 these are lessons of obedience. But the Christian 
 goes farther ; and it is his purpose to obey not only 
 all these laws, but any additional ones he may find 
 imposed, whether they pertam to material or imma- 
 terial existences. 
 
 In short, he who would put himself in the most 
 easy position, in the sphere allotted him by the 
 Author of Nature, must learn to obey , — often im- 
 plicitly and unconditionally. At least he must 
 know how to obey : and the earlier this know- 
 ledge is acquned, and corresponding habits estab- 
 lished, the better and happier will he find his con- 
 dition, and the more quiet his conscience. 
 
 Section VIII. Faithfulness. 
 
 Hardly any thing pleases me more in a young . 
 man, than faithfulness to those for whom he is 
 employed, whether parents, guardians, masters, or 
 others. 
 
60 THE YOUNG man’s GUIDE. 
 
 Duty to employers. A common error. Wretched apology^ 
 
 There appears to be a strange misapprehension, 
 in the minds of many, in regard to this point. There 
 are few who will not admit, in theory, whatever 
 may be their practice, that they ought to be faithful 
 to their parents. And by far the majority of the 
 young doubtless perceive the propriety of being 
 faithful to their masters ; so long at least, as they are 
 present. I will even go farther and admit that the 
 number of young men — sons, wards, apprentices, 
 and servants — who would willingly be so far un- 
 faithful as to do any thing positively wrong because 
 those who are set over them happen to be absent, 
 is by no jneans considerable. 
 
 But by faithfulness to our emploj^ers, I mean 
 something more than the mere doing of things 
 because we are obliged to do them, or because we 
 must, I wish to see young men feel an interest in 
 the well being and success of their employers ; and 
 take as good care of their concerns and property, 
 whether they are present or absent, as if they were 
 their own. The youth who would be more indus- 
 trious, persevering, prudent, economical, and atten- 
 tive in business, if the profits were his own, than he 
 now is, does not in my opinion come up to the 
 mark at which he should aim. 
 
 The great apology for what I call unfaithfulness 
 to employers, is, ‘What shall I get byit.^’ that is, 
 by being faithful. I have seen many a young man 
 who would labor at the employment regularly 
 assigned him, during a certain number of hours, or 
 
FAITHFULNESS. 61 
 
 Examples of fidelity. Anecdote. The Mahratta Prince. 
 
 till a certain job was completed, after which he 
 seemed unwilling to lift a finger, except for his own 
 amusement, gratification, or emolument. A few 
 minutes’ labor might repair a breach in a wall or 
 corn crib, and save the owner many dollars’ worth 
 of property, but it is passed by ! By puttmg a few 
 deranged parcels of goods in theft proper place, or 
 writing down some small item of account, which 
 would save his employer much loss of time or 
 money, or both, a faithful clerk might often do a great 
 service. Would he not do it, if the loss was to be 
 his own ? Why not then do it for his employer ? 
 
 Those who neglect things, or perform them lazily 
 or carelessly, because they imagine they shall get 
 nothing for it, would do well to read the following 
 story of a devoted and faithful domestic ; which I 
 suppose to be a fact. It needs no comment. 
 
 A Mahratta Prince, in passing through a certain 
 apartment, one day, discovered one of his servants 
 asleep with his master’s slippers clasped so tightly 
 to his breast, that he was unable to disengage them. 
 Struck with the fact, and concluding at once, that 
 a person who was so jealously careful of a trifle, 
 could not fail to be faithful when entrusted with a 
 thing of more importance, he appointed him a 
 member of his body-guards. The result proved 
 that the prince was not mistaken. Rising in office, 
 step by step, the young man soon became the most 
 distinguished military commander in Mahratta ; and 
 liis fame ultimately spread through all India. 
 
 6 
 
G2 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Intemperance. Excess in eating and drinking. Its criminality. 
 
 Section IX. On Forming Temperate Habits. 
 
 ‘ Be temperate in all things,’ is an excellent rule, 
 and of very high authority. 
 
 Drunkenness and Gluttony are vices so degrading, 
 that advice is, I must confess, nearly lost on those 
 who are capable of indulging in them. If any youth, 
 unhappily initiated in these odious and debasing 
 vices, should happen to see what I am now writing, 
 I beg him to read the command of God, to the 
 Israelites, Deut. xxi. The father and mother are to 
 take the bad son ‘ and bring him to the elders of the 
 city ; and they shall say to the elders, this our son 
 will not obey our voice: he is a glutton and a 
 drunkard. And all the men of the city shall stone 
 him with stones, that he die.’ This will give him 
 some idea of the odiousness of his crime, at least in 
 the sight of Heaven. 
 
 But indulgence far short of gross drunkenness 
 and gluttony is to be deprecated ; and the more so, 
 because it is too often looked upon as being no 
 crime at all. Nay, there are many persons, who 
 boast of a refined taste in matters connected with 
 eating and drinking, who are so far from being 
 ashamed of employing their thoughts on the sub- 
 ject, that it is their boast that they do it. 
 
 Gregory, one of the Christian fathers, says: ‘It 
 is not the quantity or the quality of the meat, or 
 di'mk, but the love of it, that is condemned:’ that is 
 
TEMPEHANCl^. 
 
 63 
 
 Its expense. 
 
 Excessive indulgence. Its injury to health. 
 
 to say, the indulgence beyond the absolute de- 
 mands of nature ; the hankering after it ; the neglect 
 of some duty or other for the sake of the enjoyments 
 of the table. I believe, however, there may be 
 error, both in quantity and quality. 
 
 This love of what are called ‘good eating and 
 drinking,’ if very unamiable in grown persons, 
 is perfectly hateful in a youth; and, if he indulge 
 in the propensity, he is already half ruined. To 
 warn you against acts of fraud, robbery, and vio- 
 lence, is not here my design. Neither am I speak- 
 ing against acts which the jailor and the hangman 
 punish, nor against those moral offences which all 
 men condemn, but against indulgences, which, by 
 men in general, are deemed not only harmless, but 
 meritorious ; but which observation has taught me 
 to regard as destructive to human happiness ; and 
 against which all ought to be cautioned, even m 
 their boyish days. 
 
 Such indulgences are, in the first place, very 
 expensive. The materials are costly, and the pre- 
 paration still more so. What a monstrous thing, 
 that, in order to satisfy the appetite of one person 
 there must be one or two others at work constantly,^ 
 More fuel, culinary implements, kitchen room: 
 
 * I have occasionally seen four or five persons in constant 
 employ, solely to supply the wants of a family of the same 
 number, whose health, collectively ^ required an amount of 
 physical labor adequate to their own wants. 
 
64 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 An anecdote. Reflections. Water drinkers. 
 
 what ! all these merely to tickle the palate of four 
 or five people, and especially people who can hardly 
 pay their bills ! And, then, the loss of time — the 
 time spent in pleasing the palate ! 
 
 “A young man,” says an English widter, “some 
 years ago, offered himself to me, as an amanuensis^ 
 for which he appeared to be perfectly qualified. 
 The terms were settled, and I requested him to sit 
 down, and begin ; but looking out of the window, 
 whence he could see the church clock, he said, 
 somewhat hastily, ‘ I cannot stop now sir, I must go 
 to dinner,^ ‘ Oh ! ’ said I, ‘ you must go to dinner, 
 must you ! Let the dinner, which you must wait 
 upon to-day, have your constant services, then ; for 
 you and I shall never agi*ee.’ 
 
 “ He had told me that he was in great distress for 
 want of employment; and yet, when relief was 
 there before his eyes, he could forego it for the sake 
 of getting at his eating and drinking three or four 
 hours sooner than was necessary.” 
 
 This anecdote is good, so far as it shows the 
 folly of an unwillingness to deny ourselves in small 
 matters, in any circumstances. And yet punctual- 
 ity, even at meals, is not to be despised. 
 
 Water-drinkers ai*e universally laughed at: but, it 
 has always seemed to me, that they are amongst the 
 most welcome of guests, and that, too, though the 
 host be by no means of a niggardly turn. The 
 truth is, they give no trouble ; they occasion no anx- 
 iety to please them ; they are sure not to make their 
 
TEMPERANCE. 
 
 Health, the first thing. Extract from Ec’c/esiasticus. 
 
 sittings inconveniently long; and, above all, their ex-^ 
 ample teaches moderation to the rest of the company. 
 
 Your notorious Movers of good cheer’ are, on 
 the contraiy, not to be invited without due reflection. 
 To entertain one of them is a serious business ; and 
 as people are not apt voluntarily to undertake such 
 pieces of business, the well-known ‘ lovers of good 
 eating and drinking’ are left, very generally, to en- 
 joy it by themselves, and at their own expense. 
 
 But, all other considerations aside, health, one of 
 the most valuable of earthly possessions, and without 
 which all the rest are worth nothing, bids us not 
 only to refrain from excess in eating and drinking, 
 but to stop short of what might be indulged in with^ 
 out any apparent impropriety. 
 
 The words of Ecclesiasticus ought to be often 
 read by young people. ‘ Eat modestly that which is 
 set before thee, and devour not, lest thou be hated. 
 When thou sittest amongst many, reach not thine 
 hand out first of all. How little is sufficient for a 
 man well taught ! A wholesome sleep cometh of a 
 temperate belly. Such a man riseth up in the morn- 
 ings and is ivell at ease loith himself Be not too 
 hasty of meats ; for excess of meats bringeth sick- 
 ness, and choleric disease cometh of gluttony. By 
 surfeit have many perished, and he that dieteth him- 
 self prolongeth his life. Show not thy valiantness 
 in wine ; for wine hath destroyed many.’ 
 
 How true are these words! How well worthy 
 cf a constant place in our memories! Yet, what 
 6 * 
 
66 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Certain songs condemned. Disregard of dainties. An exampl^ 
 
 pains have been taken to apologize for a life con- 
 trary to these precepts ! And, what punishment can 
 be too great, what mark of infamy sufficiently 
 signal, for those pernicious villains of talent, who 
 have employed that talent in the composition of 
 Bacchanalian songs; that is to say, pieces of fine 
 and captivating writing in praise of one of the most 
 odious and destructive vices in the black catalogue 
 of human depravity ! 
 
 ‘ Who,’ says the eccentric, but laborious Cobbett, 
 ‘ what man, ever performed a greater quantity of 
 labor than I have performed? Now, in a great 
 measure, I owe my capability to perform this labor 
 to my disregard of dainties. I ate, during one 
 whole year, one mutton chop every day. Being 
 once in town, with one son (then a little boy) and 
 a clerk, while my family was in the country, I had, 
 for several weeks, nothing but legs of mutton. The 
 first day, a leg of mutton boiled or roasted ; second, 
 cold ; third, hashed ; then, leg of mutton boiled ; and 
 so on. 
 
 ‘When I have been by myself, or nearly so, I 
 have always proceeded thus: given directions for 
 having every day the same things or alternately as 
 above,- and every day exactly at the same hour, so 
 as to pervent the necessity of any talk about the 
 matter. I am certain that, upon an average, I have 
 not, during my life, spent more than thirty-five min- 
 utes a day at table, including all the meals of 
 the day. I like, and I take care to have, good and 
 
TEMPERANCE. 67 
 
 Rapid eating disapproved of. Its evils. Intentions of nature. 
 
 clean victuals ; but, if wholesome arid clean, that is 
 enough. If I find it, by chance, too coarse for my 
 appetite, I put the food aside, or let somebody do 
 it ; and leave the appetite to gather keenness.’ 
 
 Now I have no special desire to recommend mut- 
 ton chops to my readers, nor to hold out the exam- 
 ple of the individual whose language I have quoted, 
 as worthy of general imitation. There is one les- 
 son to be learned, however. Cobbett’s never tiring 
 industry is well known. And if we can rely on his 
 own statements in regard to his manner of eating, 
 we see another proof that w^hat are called ‘ dainties,’ 
 and even many things which are often supposed to 
 be necessaries, are very far from being indispensa- 
 ble to health or happiness. 
 
 I am even utterly opposed to the rapid eating of 
 which he speaks. In New England especially, the 
 danger is on the other side. ‘ Were it not fi’om 
 respect to others, I never would wish for more than 
 eight minutes to eat my dinner in,’ said a merchant 
 to me one day. Now I can swallow a meal at any 
 time, in Jive minutes ; but this is not eating. If it 
 is, the teeth were made — as well as the saliva — 
 almost in vain. No ! this swallowing down a meal 
 in five or even ten minutes, so common among the 
 active, enterprising, and industrious people of this 
 country, is neither healthy, nor decent, nor econom- 
 ical. And instead of spending only thirty-Jive min- 
 utes a day in eating ; every man, woman, and child 
 
68 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Mistake corrected. All food must be well masticated. 
 
 ought, as a matter of duty, to spend about twice the 
 time in that way. This would give the teeth and 
 salivary glands an opportunity to come up to the 
 work which God in nature assigned them. We 
 may indeed cheat them for a time, but not with im- 
 punity, for a day of reckoning will come ; and some 
 of our rapid eaters will find their bill (in stomach or 
 liver complaints, or gout or rheumatism) rather 
 large. They will probably lose more time in this 
 way, than they can possibly save by eating rapidly. 
 
 The idea of preventing conversation about what 
 we eat is also idle, though Dr. Franklin and many 
 other wise men, thought otherwise. Some of our 
 students in commons and elsewhere, suppose them- 
 selves highly meritorious because they have adopt- 
 ed the plan of appointing one of their number to 
 read to the company, while the rest are eating. 
 But they are sadly mistaken. Nothing is gained 
 by the practice. On the contrary, much is lost by 
 it. The bow cannot always remain bent, without 
 injury. Neither can the mind always be kept 
 ‘ toned ’ to a high pitch. Mind and body must and 
 will have their relaxations. 
 
 I am not an advocate for wasting time or for eat- 
 ing more than is necessary. Na}^, I even believe, 
 on the contrary, with most medical men, that we 
 generally eat about twice as much as nature re- 
 quires. But I do say, and with emphasis, that food 
 must be masticated, 
 
 Before I dismiss the subject of temperance, let 
 
TEMPERANCE. 
 
 69 
 
 Tea and coffee injurious. Other drinks. Water the best. 
 
 me beseech you to resolve to free yourselves from 
 slavery to tea and coffee. Experience has taught 
 me, that they are wjiirious to health. Even my 
 habits of sobriety, moderate eating, and early rising, 
 were not, until I left off using them, sufficient to 
 give me that complete health which I have since had. 
 
 I do not undertake to prescribe for others exactly ; 
 but, I do say, that to pour down regularly, every 
 day, a quart or two of ivarm liquid^ whether under 
 the name of tea, coffee, soup, grog, or anything else, 
 is greatly injurious to health. However, at present, 
 what I have to represent to you^ is the great deduc- 
 tion which they make, from your power of being 
 useful, and also from your power to husband your 
 income, whatever it may be, and from whatever 
 source arising. These things cost something ; and 
 wo to him who forgets, or never knows, till he pays 
 it, how large a bill they make — in the course of 
 a year. 
 
 How much to be desired is it, that mankind 
 would return once more, to the use of no other 
 drink than that pure beverage which nature pre- 
 pared for the sole drink of man ! So long as we 
 are in health, we need no other ; nay, we have no 
 right to any other. It is the testimony of all, or 
 almost all whose testimony is worth having, that 
 water is the best known drink. But if water is 
 better than all others, all others are, of course, worse 
 than water. 
 
 As to food and drink generally, let me say in 
 
70 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Water the only drink. Influence of habit. Suppers. 
 
 conclusion, that simplicity is the grand point to aim 
 at. Water, we have seen, is the sole drink of man ; 
 but there is a great variety of food provided for his 
 sustenance. He is allowed to select from this im- 
 mense variety, those kinds, which the experience 
 of mankind generally, combined and compared with 
 his own, show to be most useful. He can live on 
 almost any thing. Still there is a choice to be ob- 
 served, and so far as his circumstances permit, he 
 is in duty bound to exercise that choice. God has 
 said by his servant Paul ; ‘ Whether ye eat or drink, 
 or whatsoever ye do,’ &c. 
 
 What we believe to be most useful to us, though 
 at first disagreeable, we may soon learn to prefer. 
 Our habits, then, should be early formed. We 
 should always remeniber these two rules, however. 
 1st. The fewer different articles of food used at any 
 one meal, the better; however excellent in their 
 nature those may be which are left untasted. 2. 
 Never eat a moment longer than the food, if well 
 masticated, actually revives and refreshes you. The 
 moment it makes you feel heavy or dull, or palls 
 upon the taste, you have passed the line of safety. 
 
 Section X. On Suppers. 
 
 Suppers, properly so called, are confined, in a 
 considerable degree, to cities ; and I was at first in 
 doubt whether I should do ns mucli good by givhig 
 ?ny voice against them, as I should of mischief by 
 
ON SUPPERS. 
 
 71 
 
 Late meals. Customs of our ancestors. Of the Jews. 
 
 spreading through the country the knowledge of 
 a wretched practice. But farther reflection lias 
 convinced me that I ought to offer my sentiments 
 on this subject. 
 
 By suppers, I mean a fourth meal, just before 
 going to bed. Individuals who have eaten quite 
 as many times during the day as nature requires, 
 and wdio take their tea, and perliaps a little bread 
 and butter, at six, must go at nine or ten, they think, 
 and eat another hearty meal. Some make it the 
 most luxurious repast of the day. 
 
 Now many of our plain country people do not 
 know that such a practice exists. They often eat 
 too much, it is true, at iheir third meal, but their 
 active habits and pure air enable them to digest it 
 better than their city brethren could. Besides, their 
 third meal never comes so late, by several hours, 
 as the suppers of cities and towns. 
 
 Our English ancestors, 200 years ago, on both 
 sides of the Atlantic, dined at eleven, took tea early, 
 and had no suppers. So it was with the Jews of 
 old, one of the healthiest nations that ever lived be- 
 yond the Mediterranean. They knew nothing of 
 our modern dinners at three or four, and suppers 
 at nine, ten, or eleven. 
 
 But not to ‘take something late at night with 
 the rest,’ would at present be regarded as ‘ vulgar,’ 
 and who could endure it? Here, I confess, I 
 tremble for some of my readers, whose lot it is 
 to be cast in the city, lest they should, in this 
 
72 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 The stomach needs its season of repose. An anecdote. 
 
 single instance, hesitate to ‘ take advice.’ But I will 
 hope for better things. 
 
 If you would give your stomach a season of re- 
 pose, as well as the rest of your system ; if you 
 would sleep soundly, and either dream not at all, 
 or have your dreams pleasant ones ; if you would 
 rise in the morning with your head clear, and free 
 from pain, and your mouth clean and sweet, in- 
 stead of being parched, and foul ; if you would 
 unite your voice — in spirit at least — with the 
 voices of praise to the Creator, which ascend every 
 where unless it be from the dwellings of creatures 
 that should be men, — if, in one word, you would 
 lengthen your lives several years, and increase the 
 enjoyment of the last thirty years 33 per cent, with- 
 out diminishing that of the first forty, then I beg of 
 you to abstain from suppers ! 
 
 I am acquainted with one individual, who partly 
 from a conviction of the injury to himself, and 
 partly from a general detestation of the practice, 
 not only abstains from every thing of the kind, 
 but from long obseiwation of its effects, goes to the 
 other extreme, and seldom takes even a tkh'd meal. 
 And I know of no evil which arises from it. On 
 the contrary, I believe that, for him, no course 
 could be better. Be that as it may, adult indi- 
 viduals should never eat more than three times a 
 day, nor should they ever partake of any food, 
 solid or liquid, within three or four hours of tlie 
 period of retiring to rest 
 
ON DRfiSS. 73 
 
 A wretched practice censured. The purposes of dress. 
 
 But if eating ordinary suppers is pernicious, 
 what shall we say of the practice which some ii> 
 dulge wdio aspire to be pillars in church or state, 
 with othei’s of pretensions less lofty, of going to cer- 
 tain eating Piouses, at a very late hour, and spending 
 a considerable portion of the night — not in eat- 
 ing, merely, but in quaffing poisonous draughts, and 
 spreading noxious fumes, and uttering language and 
 songs which better become the inmates of Pandemo- 
 nium, than those of the counting-house, the college, 
 or the chapel ! If there be within the limits of any 
 of our cities or towns, scenes which answer to thi^ 
 horrid picture, let ‘ it not be told in Gath, or pub- 
 lished in the streets of Askelon,’ lest the fiends of 
 the pit should rejoice ; — lest the demons of dark-® 
 jiess should triumph. 
 
 Section XI. On Bress, 
 
 The object of dress is fourfold: 1 st* It is de- 
 signed as a covering ; 2d. As a means of warmth 5 
 3d. As a defence ; 4th. To improve our appearance. 
 
 These purposes of dress should all be consider- 
 ed ; and in the order here presented. That dress, 
 which best answers all these purposes combined, 
 both as respects the material and the form or fash^ 
 ion, is unquestionably the best and most appro- 
 priate. It is certainly true that the impressions 
 which a person’s first appearance makes upon the 
 minds of those around him are deep and permanent, 
 
74 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Fashion. Cleanliness. Mistake of vanity corrected, 
 
 and the subject should receive a measure of our at- 
 tention, on this account. It is only a slight tax which 
 we pay for the benefits of living in civilized society. 
 When, however, we sacrifice every thing else to 
 appearance, we commit a very great error. We 
 make that first in point of importance, which ought 
 to be fourth. 
 
 Let your dress be as cheap as may be without 
 shabbiness, and endeavor to be neither first nor 
 last in a fashion. Think more about the cleanli- 
 ness, than the gloss or texture of your clothes. Be 
 always as clean as your occupation will permit ; but 
 never for one moment believe that any human 
 being, who has good sense, will love or respect you 
 merely on account of a fine or costly coat. 
 
 Extravagance in the haunting of play-houses^ 
 in horses, in every thing else, is to be avoided, but 
 in young men, extravagance in dress particularly. 
 This sort of extravagance, this waste of money on 
 the decoration of the body, arises solely fi'om vanity, 
 and from vanity of the most contemptible sort. 
 It arises from the notion, that all the people in the 
 street, for instance, will be looking at you, as soon 
 as you walk out ; and that they will, in a greater or 
 less degree, think the better of you on account of 
 your fine dress. 
 
 Never was a notion more false. Many sensible 
 people, that happen to see you, will think nothing 
 at all about you : those who are filled with the same 
 rain notion as you are, will perceive your attempt 
 
ON DRESS* 75 
 
 Gk!n«ral rule for dress. Females not deceived by it. i 
 
 to impose on them, and despise it. Rich people 
 will wholly disregard yon, and you will be envied 
 and hated by those who have the same vanity that 
 you have, without the means of gratifying it. 
 
 Dress should be suited, in some measure, to our 
 condition. A surgeon or physician need not dress 
 exactly like a carpenter; but, there is no reason 
 w^hy any body should dress in a very expensive 
 manner. It is a great mistake to suppose, that they 
 derive any advantage from exterior decoration. 
 
 For after all, men are estimated by other men 
 according to their capacity and willingness to be in 
 some way or other useful ; and, though, with the 
 foolish and vain part of women, fine clothes fre- 
 quently do something, yet the greater part of the 
 sex are much too penetrating to draw their conclu- 
 sions solely from the outside appearance. They 
 look deeper, and find other criterions whereby to 
 judge. Even if fine clothes should obtain you a 
 wife, will they bring you, in that wife, frugality, 
 good sense, and that kind of attachntent >vhich is 
 likely to be lasting ? 
 
 Natural beauty of person is quite another thing : 
 this always has, it always will and must have, some 
 weight even with men, and great weight with 
 women. But, this does not need to be set off by 
 expensive clothes. Female eyes are, in such cases, 
 discerning ; they can discover beauty though sur-» 
 rounded by rags : and, take this as a secret worth 
 half a fortune to you, that women, however vaii; 
 they may be themselves, despise vanity in men. 
 
76 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Extremes. The golden mean. Error corrected. 
 
 Section XII. Bashfulness and Modesty. 
 
 Dr. Young saj^s, ‘The man that blushes is not 
 quite a brute.’ This is undoubtedly true; yet 
 nothing is more clear, as Addison has shown us, 
 than that a person may be both bashful and impu- 
 dent. 
 
 I know the world commend the former quality, 
 and condemn the latter; but I deem them both 
 evils. Perhaps the latter is the greater of the two. 
 The proper medium is true modesty. This is 
 always commendable. 
 
 We are compelled to take the world, in a great 
 measure, as it is. We can hardly expect men to 
 come and buy our wares, unless we advertise or 
 expose them for sale. So if we would commend 
 ourselves to the notice of our fellow men, we must 
 set ourselves up, — not for something which we 
 are not ; — but for what, upon a careful examination, 
 we find reason to think we are, Many a good and 
 valuable man has gone through this life, without 
 being properly estimated; from the vain belief 
 that true merit could not always escape unnoticed. 
 This belief, after all, is little else but a species of 
 fatalism. 
 
 By setting ourselves up, 1 do not mean puffing 
 and pretending, or putting on airs of haughtiness 
 or arrogance ; or any affectation whatever. But 
 thei’e are those and some of them are persons 
 
BASHFULNESS AND MODESTY. 77 
 
 Injurious effects of bashfulness. The happy mean. 
 
 of good sense, in many respects, who can scarcely 
 answer properly, when addressed, or look the per*- 
 son with whom they are conversing in the face; 
 and who often render themselves rediculous for 
 fear they, shall he so, I have seen a man of respect- 
 able talents, who, in conversation never raised hiss 
 eyes higher than the tassels of his friend’s boots ; 
 and another who could never converse without 
 turning half or three quarters round, so as to pre- 
 sent his shoulder or the backside of his head, instead 
 of a plain, honest face. 
 
 I have known young men injured by bash- 
 fulness. It is vain to say that it should not be so. 
 The world is not what it should be, in many re- 
 spects ; and I must insist that it is our duty, to take 
 it as it is, in order to make it better, or even in order 
 to live in it with comfort. He that thinks he shall 
 not, most surely will not, please. A man of sense, 
 and knowledge of the world, will assert his own 
 rights, and pursue his own purposes as steadily 
 and uninteiTLiptedly as the most impudent man 
 living; but then there is at the same time an air of 
 modesty in all he does; while an overbearing or 
 impudent manner of doing the same thmgs, would 
 undoubtedly have given offence. Hence a certain 
 wise man has said; ‘He who knows the world will 
 not be too bashful ; and he who knows himself will 
 never be impudent.’ 
 
 Perpetual embarrassment in company or in con-> 
 versation, is sometimes even construed into meaa^ 
 
 7 # 
 
78 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Awkwardness. Eccentricities. Little things. Good-breeding. 
 
 ness. Avoid, — if you can do it, without too great 
 a sacrifice — every appearance of deserving a charge 
 so weighty. 
 
 Section XIII. Politeness and Good- Breeding, 
 
 Awkwardness is scarcely more tolerable than 
 bashfulness. It must proceed from one of two 
 things ; either from not having kept good company, 
 or from not having derived any benefit from it. 
 Many very worthy people have certain odd tricks, 
 and ill habits, that excite a prejudice against them, 
 which it is not easy to overcome. Hence the im- 
 portance of good-hr ceding. 
 
 Now there are not a few who despise all these 
 little things of life, as they call them ; and yet much 
 of their lives is taken up v/ith them, small as they 
 are. And since these self same little things cannot 
 be dispensed with, is it not better that they should 
 be done in the easiest, and at the sjime time the 
 pleasantest manner possible ? 
 
 There is no habit more difficult to attain, and few 
 so necessary to possess, as perfect good-breeding. 
 It is equally inconsistent with a stiff formality, an 
 impertinent forwardness, and an awkward bashful- 
 ness. True Christian education would seem to 
 include it; and yet unfortunately, Christians aro 
 not always polite. 
 
 Is it not surprising that we may sometimes ob- 
 serve, in mere men of the world, that kind of car^ 
 
GOOD-BREEDING.^ 79 
 
 Christian politeness. Calling things by wrong names. Pedantry. 
 
 riage which should naturally be expected from an 
 individual thoroughly imbued with the spirit of 
 Christianity, while his very neighbors, who are pro- 
 fessing Christians, appear, by their conduct, to be 
 destitute of such a spirit ? Which, then, in practice 
 (I mean so far as this fact is concerned) are the best 
 Christians ? But I know what will be the answer ; 
 and I know that these things ought not so to be. 
 
 No good reason can be given why a Christian 
 should not be as well-bred as his neighbor. It is 
 difficult to conceive how a person can follow the 
 rules given in the Sermon on the Mount, without 
 being, and showing himself to be, well-bred. I 
 have even known men who were no friends to the 
 bible, to declare it as their unequivocal belief that 
 he whose life should conform to the principles of 
 that sermon, could not avoid being truly 'polite. 
 
 There are not a few who confound good-breeding 
 with affectation, just as they confound a reasonable 
 attention to dress with foppery. This calling things 
 by wrong names is very common, how much soever 
 it may be lamented. 
 
 Good-hreeding, or true politeness, is the art of 
 showing men, by external signs, the internal regard 
 we have for them. It arises from good sense, im- 
 proved by good company. Good-breeding is never 
 to be learned, though it may be hnproved, by the 
 study of books ; and therefore they who attempt it, 
 appear stiff and pedantic. The really well-bred, as 
 they become so !)y use and observation, are not 
 
80 
 
 THE VOUNG man’s GUIDE. 
 
 Kind feelings. Good breeding opposed to selfishness. 
 
 liable to affectation. You see good-breeding in all 
 they do, without seeing the art of it. Like other 
 habits, it is acquired by practice. 
 
 An engaging manner and genteel address may be 
 out of our power, although it is a misfortune that it 
 should be so. But it is in the power of every body 
 to be kind, condescending, and affable. It is in the 
 power of every person who has any thing to sav to 
 a fellow being, to say it with kind feelings, and with 
 a sincere desire to please ; and this, whenever it is 
 done, will atone for much awkwardness in the man- 
 ner of expression. Forced complaisance is foppery J 
 and affected easiness is ridiculous. 
 
 Good-breeding is, and ought to be, an amiable 
 and persuasive thing ; it beautifies the actions and 
 even the looks of men. But the grimace of good- 
 breeding is not less odious 
 
 In short, good-breeding is a forgetting of ourselves 
 so far as to sehk what may be agreeable to others, 
 but in so artless and delicate a manner as will scarce- 
 ly allow them to perceive that we are so employed ; 
 and the regarding of ourselves, not as the centre of 
 motion on which every thing else is to revolve, but 
 only as one of the wheels or parts, in a vast machine, 
 embracing other wheels and parts of equal, and per- 
 haps more than equal importance. It is hence utter- 
 ly opposed to selfishness, vanity, or pride. Nor is it 
 proportioned to the supposed riches and rank of 
 him whose favor and patronage you would gladly 
 cultivate j but extends to all. It knows how to con- 
 
GOOD-BREEDING. 
 
 81 
 
 Ten rules for governing our conversation. 
 
 tradict with respect; and to please, without adu- 
 lation. 
 
 The following are a few plain directions for at- 
 taining the character of a well-bred man. 
 
 1. Never weary your company by talking too 
 long, or too frequently. 
 
 2. Always look people in the face when you 
 address them, and generally wlien they are speak- 
 ing to you. 
 
 3. Attend to a person who is addressing you. 
 Inattention marks a trifling mind, and is a most un- 
 pai'donable piece of rudeness. It is even an affront ; 
 for it is the same thing as saying that his remarks 
 are not tvorth your attention. 
 
 4. Do not interrupt the person who is speaking 
 by saymg yes, or no, or hem, at every sentence ; it 
 is the most useless thing that can be. An occa- 
 sional assent, either by word or action, may be well 
 enough ; but even a nod of assent is sometimes 
 repeated till it becomes disgusting. 
 
 5. Remember that every person in a company 
 likes to be the hei'o of that company. Never, there- 
 fore, engross the whole conversation to yourself. 
 
 6. Learn to sit or stand still, while another is 
 speaking to you. You will not of course be so 
 rude as to dig in the earth with your feet, or take 
 your penknife from your pocket and pair your nails ; 
 but there are a great many other little movements 
 which are scarcely less clownish. 
 
 7. Never anticipate for another, or help him out^ 
 
THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Forming good habits. Planning the business of the day. 
 
 as it is called. This is quite a rude affair, and 
 should ever be avoided. Let him conclude his 
 story for himself. It is time enough for you to 
 make corrections or additions afterward, if you 
 deem his account defective. It is also a piece of 
 impoliteness to interrupt another in his remarks. 
 
 8. Say as little of yourself and your friends as 
 possible. 
 
 9. Make it a rule never to accuse, without due 
 consideration, any body or association of men. 
 
 10. Never try to appear more wise or learned 
 than the rest of the company. Not that you should 
 affect ignorance; but endeavor to remain within 
 your own proper sphere. 
 
 Section XIV. Personal Habits, 
 
 I have elsewhere spoken of the importance of 
 early rising. Let me merely request you, in this 
 place, to form a habit of this kind, from which no 
 ordinary circumstances shall suffer you to depart. 
 Your first object after rising and devotion, should 
 be to take a survey of the business which lies 
 before you during the day, making of course a 
 suitable allowance for exigencies. I have seldom 
 known a man in business thrive — and men of 
 business we aU ought to be, whatever may be our 
 occupation — who did not rise early in the morn- 
 ing, and plan his work for the day. Some of those 
 who have been most successful, made it a point to 
 
PERSONAL HABITS. 83 
 
 Gowns and slippers. The Divine rule. Looking glasses. 
 
 have this done before daylight. Indeed, I was 
 intimately acquainted with one man who laid out 
 the business of the day, attended family worship, 
 and breakfasted before sunrise 5 and this too, at all 
 seasons of the year 
 
 Morning gowns and slippers are very useful 
 things, it is said. But the reasons given for their 
 utility are equally in favor of always wearing them. 
 ‘They are loose and comfortable.’ Very well: 
 Should not our dress always be loose? ‘They 
 save other clothes.^ Then why not wear them all 
 day long ? The truth, after all, is, that they are 
 fashionable^ and as we usually give the true reason 
 for a thing last, this is probably the principal rea- 
 son why they are so much in use. I am pretty 
 well convinced, however, that they are of little real 
 use to him who is determined to eat his bread ‘ in 
 the sweat of his face,’ according to the Divine ap- 
 pointment. 
 
 Looking-glasses are useful in their place, but 
 like many other conveniences of life, by no means 
 indispensable ; and so much abused, that a man of 
 sense would almost be tempted, for the sake of 
 example, to lay them aside. Of all wasted time, 
 none is more foolishly wasted than that which is 
 employed in unnecessary looking at one’s own 
 pretty face. 
 
 This may seem a matter of small consequence ; 
 but nothing can be of small importance to which 
 we are obliged to attend every day. If we dressed 
 
84 THE Young man’s guide. 
 
 Sir John Sinclair. Shaving. Usual parade about it. 
 
 or shaved but once a year, or once a month, the 
 case would be altered ; but this is a piece of work 
 that must be done once every day ; and, as it may 
 cost only about Jive minutes of time, and may be, 
 and frequently is, made to cost thirty, or even fjly 
 minutes; and, as only fifteen minutes make about 
 a fiftieth part of the hours of our average day- 
 light ; this being the case, it is a matter of real im- 
 portance. 
 
 Sir John Sinclair asked a friend whether he 
 meant to have a son of his (then a little boy) 
 taught Latin? ‘No,’ said he, ‘but I mean to do 
 something a great deal better for him.’ ‘ What is 
 that?’ said Sir John. ‘Why,’ said the other, ‘1 
 mean to teach him to shave with cold water, and 
 without a glass."* 
 
 My readers may smile, but I can assure them 
 that Sir John is not alone. There are many others 
 who have adopted this practice, and found it highly 
 beneficial. One individual, who had tried it for 
 years, has the following spirited remarks on the 
 subject. 
 
 ‘ Only think of the inconvenience attending the 
 common practice ! There must be hot ivater ; to 
 have this there must be a fire, and, in some cases, 
 a fire for that purpose alone ; to have these, there 
 must be a servant, or you must light a fire your- 
 self. For the want of these, the job is put off 
 untii a later hour : this causes a stripping and anoth- 
 er dressing bout : or, you go in a slovenly state all 
 
FEtlSOXAL HABltg* 
 
 
 Evils of ttlorning delays. Dress at once, fof the day. 
 
 that day, and the next day the thing must be done^ 
 or cleanliness must be abandoned altogether. If* 
 you are on a journey, you must wait the pleasure 
 of the servants at the inn before you can dress and 
 Bet out in the morning ; the pleasant time for trav^ 
 elling is gone before you can move from the 
 spot: instead of being at the end of your day’B 
 journey in good tiinOj you are benighted, and have 
 to endure all the great inconveniences attendant 
 on tardy movements. And all this from the ap^ 
 parently insignificant affair of shaving. How many 
 a piece of important business has failed from a 
 short delay ! And how many thousand of such de^ 
 lays daily proceed from this unworthy cause ! ’ 
 
 These remarks are especially important to those 
 persons in boarding-houses and elsewhere, for 
 whom hot water, if they use it, must be expressly 
 prepared. 
 
 Let me urge you never to Say I cannot go, or do 
 such a thing, till I am shaved or dressed. Take 
 care always to be shaved and dressed^ and then you 
 will alv/ays be ready to act. But to this end the 
 habit must be formed in early life, and pertina-^ 
 ciously adhered to. 
 
 There are those who can truly say that to the 
 habit of adhering to the principles which have 
 been laid down, they owe much of their success 
 in life ; that however sober, discreet, and abstinent 
 they might have been, they never could have ac^ 
 complished much without it. We should suppose 
 
86 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Experience of an officer in the army. An anecdote. 
 
 by reasoning beforehand, that the army could not 
 be very favorable to steady habits of this or any 
 other kind; yet the following is the testimony of 
 one who had made the trial. 
 
 ‘ To the habit of early rising and husbanding my 
 time well, more than to any other thing, I owed 
 my very extraordinary promotion in the army. I 
 was always ready. If I had to mount guard at few, 
 I was ready at nine: never did any man, or any 
 thing, wait one moment for me. Being, at an age 
 under twenty years, raised fi'om corporal to sergeant 
 major at once, over the heads of thirty sergeants, I 
 should naturally have been an object of emT- and 
 hatred ; but this habit of early rising really subdued 
 these passions. 
 
 ‘Before my promotion, a clerk was wanted to 
 make out the morning report of the regiment. I 
 rendered the clerk unnecessary; and, long before 
 any other man was dressed for the parade, my 
 work for the morning was all done, and I myself 
 was on the parade ground, walking, in fine weather, 
 for an hour perhaps. 
 
 ‘ My custom was this : to get up, in summer, at 
 day-light, and in winter at four o’clock; shave, 
 dress, even to the putting of my sword-belt over 
 my shoulder, and having my sword lying on the 
 table before me, ready to hang by my side. Then 
 I ate a bit of cheese, or pork, and bread. Then I 
 prepared my report, which was filled up as fast as 
 the companies brought me in the materials. After 
 
PERSONAL HABITS. 
 
 87 
 
 Story concluded. Reflections. Shaving with cold w^ater. 
 
 this, I had an hour or two to read, before the time 
 came for any duty out of doors, unless when the 
 regiment, or part of it, went out to exercise in the 
 morning. When this was the case, and the matter 
 was left to me, I always had it on the ground in 
 such time as that the bayonets glistened in the 
 rising sun ; a sight which gave me delight, of which 
 I often think, but which I should in vain endeavor 
 to describe. 
 
 ‘ If the officers were to go out, eight or ten o’clock 
 was the hour. Sweating men in the heat of the 
 day, or breaking in upon the time for cooking their 
 dinner, puts all things out of order, and all men 
 out of humor. When I was commander, the men 
 had a long day of leisure before them : they could 
 ramble into the town or into the woods ; go to get 
 raspberries, to catch birds, to catch fish, or to pur- 
 sue any other recreation, and such of them as 
 chose, and were qualified, to work at their trades. 
 So that here, arising solely from the early habits 
 of one very young man, were pleasant and happy 
 days given to hundreds.’ 
 
 For my own part, I confess that only a few years 
 since, I should have laughed heartily at some of 
 these views, especially the cold water system of 
 shaving. But a friend whom I esteemed, and who 
 shaved with cold water, said so much in its favor 
 that I ventured to make the trial ; and I can truly 
 say that I would not return to my former slavery 
 to hot water, if I had a servant who had nothing 
 
88 th£ young man’s guide. 
 
 Effects of warm water. Extreme attention to cleanliness. 
 
 else to do but furnish it. I cannot indeed say with 
 a recent writer (I think in the Journal of Health) 
 that cold water is a great deal better than warm ; 
 but I can and do say that it makes little if any 
 difference with me which I use ; though on going 
 out into the cold air immediately afterward, the 
 skin is more likely to chap after the use of warm 
 water than cold. Besides I think the use of warm 
 water more likely to produce eruptions on the skin. 
 — Sometimes, though not generally, I shave, like 
 Sir John Sinclair, without a glass; but I would 
 never be enslaved to one, convenient as it is. 
 
 Section XV. Bathing and Cleanliness. 
 
 Cleanliness of the body has, some how or other, 
 such a connection with mental and moral purity, 
 (whether as cause or effect — or both — I will not 
 undertake now to determine) that I am unwilling 
 to omit the present opportunity of urging its impor- 
 tance. There are those who are so attentive to this 
 subject as to wash their whole bodies in water, 
 either cold or warm, every day of the year ; and never 
 to wear the same clothes, during the day, that they 
 have slept in the previous night. Now this habit 
 may by some be called whimsical ; but I think it 
 deserves a better name. I consider this extreme, if it 
 ought to be called an extreme, as vastly more safe 
 than the common extreme of neglect. 
 
 Is it not shameful — would it not be, were human 
 
ON LITTLE THINGS, 89 
 
 Soap and water plentiful and cheap. Cold bathing. Little things. 
 
 duty properly understood — to pass months, and 
 even years, vs^ithout washign the whole body once ? 
 There are thousands and tens of thousands of both 
 sexes, who are exceedingly nice, even to fastidious- 
 ness, about externals; — who, like those mentioned 
 in the gospel, keep clean the ‘outside of the cup 
 and the platter,’ — but alas ! how is it within Not 
 a few of us, — living, as we do, in a land where 
 soap and water are abundant and cheap — would 
 blush, if the whole stoiy were told. 
 
 This chapter, if extended so far as to embrace the 
 whole subject of cleanliness of person, dress, and 
 apartments, and cold and warm bathing, would 
 alone fill a volume; a volume too, which, if well 
 prepared, would be of great value, especially to all 
 young men. But my present limits do not permit 
 of any thing farther. In regard to cold hathing, 
 however, allow me to refer you to two articles in 
 the third volume of the Annals of Education, pages 
 315 and 344, which contain the best directions I can 
 give on this subject. 
 
 Section XVI. On Little Things. 
 
 There are many things which, viewed without 
 any reference to prevailing habits, manners, and 
 customs, appear utterly unworthy of attention; 
 and yet, after all, much of our happiness will be 
 found to depend upon them. We are to remember 
 that we live— -not alone, on the earth — but among 
 
90 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Ceremonies of life not wholly useless. A great mistake. 
 
 a multitude^ each of whom claims, and is entitled 
 to his own estimate of things. Now it often hap- 
 pens that what we deem a little thing, another, who 
 views the subject differently, will regard as a matter 
 of importance. 
 
 Among the items to which I refer, are many of 
 the customary salutations and civilities of life ; and 
 the modes of dress. Now it is perfectly obvious that 
 many common phrases which are used at meeting 
 and separating, during the ordinary interviews and 
 concerns of life, as well as in correspondence, are 
 in themselves wholly unmeaning. But viewed as 
 an introduction to things of more importance, these 
 little words and phrases at the opening of a conver- 
 sation, and as the language of hourly and daily 
 salutation, are certainly useful. They are indica- 
 tions of good and friendly feeling ; and without 
 them we should not, and could not, secure the con- 
 fidence of some of those among whom we are 
 obliged to live. They would regard us as not only 
 unsocial, but selfish ; and not only selfish, but proud 
 or misanthropic. 
 
 On ac(ipuiit of meeting with much that disgusts 
 us, many are tempted to avoid society generally. 
 The frivolous conversation, and still more frivolous 
 conduct, which they meet with, they regard as a 
 waste of time, and perhaps even deem it a duty to 
 resign themselves to solitude. This, however, is a 
 great mistake. Those who have been most useful 
 to mankind acted very differently. They mingled 
 
ON LITTLE THINGS. 
 
 91 
 
 Example of Christ. Zimmerman’s views. Externals. 
 
 with the world, in hopes to do somethmg towards 
 reforming it. The greatest of philosophers, as well 
 as of Christians; — even the Founder of Christi- 
 anity himself — sat down, and not only sat down, 
 but ate and drank in the society of those with whose 
 manners, and especially whose vices, he could have 
 had no possible sympathy. 
 
 Zimmerman, who has generally been regarded 
 as an apostle of solitude, taught that men ought 
 not to ‘reside in deserts, or sleep, like owls, in the 
 hollow trunks of trees.’ ‘I sincerely exhort my 
 disciples,’ says he, ‘not to absent themselves mo- 
 rosely from public places, nor to avoid the social 
 throng ; which cannot fail to afford to judicious, 
 rational, and feeling minds, many subjects both of 
 amusement and insti’uction. It is true, that we 
 cannot relish the pleasures and taste the advantages 
 of society, without being able to give a patient 
 hearing to the tongue of folly, to excuse error, and 
 to bear with infirmity.’ 
 
 In like manner, we are not to disregard wholly, 
 our dress. It is true that the shape of a hat, or 
 the cut of a coat may not add to the strength of 
 the mind, or the soundness of the morals ; but it is 
 also true that people form an opinion of us from 
 our exterior appearance; and will continue to do 
 so: and fii’st impressions are very difficult to be 
 overcome. If we regard our own usefulness, there- 
 fore, we shall not consider the fashion or character 
 of our dress as a little thing in its results. I have 
 
92 
 
 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 A paradox. Guard well the lips. Beginning of wo. 
 
 said elsewhere that we ought neither to be the first 
 nor the last in a fashion. 
 
 We should remember, also, that the worlds in 
 its various parts and aspects, is made up of little 
 things. So true is this, that I have sometimes been 
 very fond of the paradoxical remark, that ‘little 
 things are great things ; ’ that is, in their results. 
 For who does not know that throughout the physi- 
 cal world, the mightiest results are brought about 
 by the silent working of small causes? It is not 
 the tornado, or the deluge, or even the occasional 
 storm of rain, that renews and animates nature, 
 so much as the gentle breeze, the soft refreshing 
 shower, and the still softer and gentler dews of 
 heaven. 
 
 So in human life, generally, they are the little 
 things often, that produce the mightier results. It is 
 he who takes care of pence and farthings, not he who 
 neglects them, that thrives. It is he alone who 
 guards his lips against the first improper word, — 
 trifling as it may seem — that is secure against future 
 profanity. He who indulges one little draught of 
 alcoholic drink, is in danger of ending a tippler; 
 he who gives loose to one impure thought, of end- 
 ing the victim of lust and sensuality. Nor is it 
 one single gross, or as it were accidental act, view- 
 ed as insulated from the rest — however injurious 
 it may be — that injures the body, or debases the 
 mind, so much as the frequent repetition of those 
 pjnaller errors, w hose habitual occurrence goes to 
 
OF ANGER. 
 
 93 
 
 A pernicious error. The first steps to anger. 
 
 establish the predominating choice of tlie mind, or 
 affection of the soul. 
 
 Avoid then, the pernicious, the fatal error, that 
 little things are of no consequence : little sums of 
 money, little fragments of time, little or trifling 
 words, little or apparently unimportant actions. On 
 this subject I cannot help adopting — and feeling its 
 force too, — the language of a friend of temperance 
 in regard to those who think themselves perfectly 
 secure from danger, and are believers in the harm- 
 lessness of little things. ‘I tremble,’ said he, ‘for 
 the man that does not tremble for himself. ’ 
 
 Section XVII. Of Jl7iger, and the means of re- 
 straining it. 
 
 There is doubtless much difference of native tem- 
 perament. One person is easily excited, another, 
 more slowly. But there is a greater difference still, 
 resulting from our habits. 
 
 If we And ourselves easily led into anger, we 
 should be extremely careful how we indulge the 
 fli’st steps that lead towards it. Those who natural- 
 ly possess a mild temper may, with considerable 
 safety, do and say many things which others can- 
 not. Thus we often say of a person who has met 
 with a misfortune, ‘It is good enough for him;’ 
 or of a criminal who has just been condemned to 
 suffer punishment, ‘ No matter ; he deserves it.’ 
 Or perhaps we go farther, and on finding him ac- 
 
THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Nature of anger. Cruelty to animals. Mild tones of voice. 
 
 quitted, say, ‘ He ought to have been hanged, and 
 even hanging was too good for him.’ 
 
 Now all these things, in the mouths of the irri- 
 table, lead the way to an indulgence of anger, how'- 
 ever unperceived may be the transition. It is on 
 this principle that the saying of St. John is so 
 strikingly true; ‘He that hateth his brother is a 
 murderer;’ that is, he that indulges hatred has the 
 seeds within liim, not only of out-breaking anger, 
 but of murder. 
 
 It is on this account that I regret the common 
 course taken with children in relation to certain 
 smaller tribes of the animal creation. They are 
 allowed not only to destroy them, — (which is 
 doubtless often a duty,) but to destroy them in 
 anger; to indulge a permanent hatred towards 
 them ; and to think this hatred creditable and scrip- 
 tural. When such feelings lead us to destroy even 
 the most troublesome or disgusting reptiles or 
 insects, in anger ^ we have so far prepared the way 
 for the indulgence of anger towards our fellow 
 creatures, whenever their conduct shall excite our 
 displeasure. 
 
 We can hence see why he who has a violent 
 temper should always speak in a low voice, and 
 study mildness and sweetness in his tones. For 
 loud, impassioned, and boisterous tones certainly 
 excite impassioned feelings. So do all the actions 
 which indicate anger. Thus Dr. Darwin has said 
 that any individual, by using the language and 
 
OF ANGER. 
 
 95 
 
 Quaker anecdote. 
 
 We may work ourselves into a rage. 
 
 tions of an angry person, towards an imaginary 
 object of displeasure, and accompanying them by 
 threats, and blows, with a doubled or clinched fist, 
 may easily work himself into a rage. Of the justice 
 of this opinion I am fully convinced, from actual 
 and repeated experiments. 
 
 If we find ourselves apt to be angry, we should 
 endeavor to avoid the road which leads to it. The 
 first thing to be done, is to govern our voice. On 
 this point, the story of the Quaker and the merchant 
 may not be uninstructive. 
 
 A merchant in London had a dispute with a 
 Quaker gentleman about the settlement of an ac- 
 count. The merchant was determined to bring 
 the action into courts — a course of proceeding to 
 which the Quaker was wholly opposed;-— he 
 therefore used every argument in his power to con- 
 vince the merchant of his error ; but all to no pur- 
 pose. 
 
 Desh'ous of making a final effort, however, the 
 Quaker called at the house of the merchant, one 
 morning, and inquired of the servant if his master 
 was at home. The merchant hearing the mquiry 
 from the top of the stairs, and knowing the voice, 
 called out, loudly, ‘Tell that rascal I am not at 
 home.’ The Quaker, looking up towards him, 
 said calmly; ‘Well, friend, may God put thee in a 
 better mind.’ 
 
 The merchant was struck with the meekness of 
 the reply, and after thinking more deliberately of 
 
96 the young man’s guide* 
 
 Rules for overcoming a bad temper. Story cf Zimmermani 
 
 the matter, became convinced that the Quaker was 
 right, and he in the wrong. He requested to see 
 him, and after acknowledging his error, said, ‘I 
 have one question to ask you. How were you able 
 to bear my abuse with so much patience ? ’ 
 
 ^Friend,’ replied the Quaker, ‘I will tell thee* 
 I was naturally as hot and violent as thou art. But 
 I knew that to indulge my temper was sinful, and 
 also very foolish. I observed that men in a pas* 
 sion always spoke very loud ; and I thought if 1 
 could control my voice, I should keep down my 
 passions. I therefore made it a rule never to let it 
 rise above a certain key ; and by a careful observ- 
 ance of this rule, I have, with the blessing of God, 
 entirely mastered my natural temper.’ 
 
 When you are tempted by the conduct of those 
 around you, to be angry, endeavor to consider the 
 matter for a few moments* If yoUr temper be so 
 impetuous that you find this highly difficult, you 
 may adopt some plan or device for gaining time* 
 Some recommend counting twenty or thirty, de* 
 liberately. The following anecdote of the cele- 
 brated Zimmerman is exactly in point, and may 
 afford useful hints for instruction. 
 
 Owing in part to a diseased state of body, Zim- 
 merman was sometimes irritable. One day, a 
 Russian princess and several other ladies entered 
 his apartment to inquire after his health ; when, in 
 a fit of petulance, he rose, and requested them to 
 leave the room. The prince entered some time 
 
The Lord’s prayer. 
 
 OP ANGER. Pf 
 
 Reasons for being slow to anger. 
 
 after wai’d, when Zimmerman had begun to repent 
 of his rashness, and after some mtervening conver- 
 sation, advised him, whenever he felt a disposition 
 to treat his friends so uncivilly again, to repeat, 
 mentally^ the Lord’s prayer. This advice was fol- 
 lowed, and with success. Not long afterward the 
 same prmce came to him for advice in regard to 
 the best maimer of controlling the violence of those 
 transports of affection towards his young and amia- 
 ble consort, m which young and happy lovers are 
 so apt to indulge. ‘ My dear friend,’ said Zimmer^ 
 man, ‘ there is no expedient which can surpass your 
 own. Whenever you feel yourself overborne by 
 passion, you have only to repeat the Lord’s prayer, 
 and you will be able to reduce it to a steady and 
 permanent flame.’ 
 
 By adopting Zimmerman’s rule, We shall, as 1 
 have already obseiwed, gain time for reflection, 
 than which nothing more is needed. For if the 
 cause of anger be a report, for example, of injury 
 done to us by an absent person, either in words or 
 deeds, how do we know the report is true.^ Or it 
 may be only partly true; and how do we know, 
 till we consider the matter well, whether it is worth 
 our anger at all ? Or if at all, perhaps it deserves’ 
 but a little of it. It may be, too, that the person 
 who said or did the thing reported, did it by mis- 
 take, or is already sony for it. At all events, 
 nothmg can be gained by haste ; much may be by 
 
98 
 
 THE TOtJNG man’s GUIDE. 
 
 Anger a disease. Avoid railing, — and revenge. 
 
 If a passionate person give you ill language, you 
 ought rather to pity than be angiy with him, for 
 anger is a species of disease. And to correct one 
 evil, will you make another? If his being angry 
 is an evil, will it mend the matter to make another 
 evil, by indulging in passion yourself? Will it 
 cure his disease, to throw yourself into the same 
 distemper? But if not, then how foolish is it to 
 indulge improper feelings at all ! 
 
 On the same principles, and for the same rea- 
 sons, you should avoid returning railing for rail- 
 ing ; or reviling for reproach. It only kindles the 
 more heat. Besides, you will often find silence, or 
 at least very gentle words, as in the case of the 
 Quaker just mentioned, the best return for re- 
 proaches which could be devised. I say the best 
 ‘return;’ but I would not be understood as justi- 
 fying any species of revenge. The kind of return 
 hqre spoken of is precisely that treatment which 
 W’ill be most likely to cure the distemper in the 
 other, by making him see, and be sorry for, Ids 
 passion. 
 
 If the views taken in this section be true, it is 
 easy to see the consummate folly of all violence, 
 whether between individuals or collective bodies, 
 whether it be by striking, duelling, or war. For if 
 an individual or a nation has done wrong, will it 
 annihilate that wrong to counteract it by another 
 wrong ? Is it not obvious that it only makes two 
 evils, where but one existed before? And can 
 
OF ANGER. 
 
 99 
 
 Unreasonableness of resisting evil. The Scripture rule. 
 
 two wrongs ever make one right action ? WJiich 
 is the most rational, when the choice is in our 
 power, to add to one existing evil, another of similar 
 or greater magnitude ; or to keep quiet, and let the 
 world have but one cup of misery instead of two ? 
 
 Besides, the language of Scripture is every where 
 full and decided on this point. ‘ Recompense to na 
 man evil for evil,’ and ‘ wo to him by whom the 
 offence cometh,’ though found but once or twice 
 in just so many words, are in fact, some of the more 
 prominent doctrines of the New Testament ; and I 
 very much doubt whether you can read many 
 pages, in succession, m any part of the bible, with- 
 out finding this great principle enforced. The daily 
 example of the Saviour, and the apostles and early 
 Christians, is a full confirmation of it, in practice. 
 
CHAPTER 11. 
 
 ©n tje i^anasement of 3Sus!nes». 
 
 Section I, On commencing Business. 
 
 Young men are usually in haste to commence 
 business for themselves. This is an evil, and one 
 which appears to me to be increasing. Let me 
 caution my readers to be on their guard against it. 
 
 The evils of running in debt will be adverted to 
 elsewhere. I mention the subject in this place, 
 because the earlier you commence business, the 
 greater the necessity of resorting to credit. You 
 may, indeed, in some employments, begin on a very 
 small scale ; but this is attended with serious disad- 
 vantages, especially at the present day, when you 
 must meet with so much competition. Perhaps a 
 few may be furnished with capital by their friends, 
 or by inheritance. In the latter case they may as 
 well use their money, if they receive it ; but I have 
 already endeavored to show that it is generally for 
 the interest of young men to rely upon theii* own 
 exertions. It is extremely difficult for a person 
 who has ever relied on others, to act with the same 
 energy as those who have been thrown upon their 
 
COMMENCING BUSINESS. 103 
 
 Inheriting property, an evil. Sel'f-dependence. Examples. 
 
 own resources.* To learn the art of inheriting 
 property or receiving large gifts, and of actmg 
 with the same energy as if left wholly to our own 
 resources, must be reserved, I believe, for future 
 and wiser generations of our race. 
 
 I repeat it, therefore, every person had better de- 
 fer going into business for himself, until he can 
 stand entirely on his own footing. Is it asked how 
 he can have funds from his own resources, before 
 he has actually commenced business for himself? 
 Why the thing is perfectly easy. He has only to 
 labor a few years in the service of another. True it 
 is, he may receive but moderate wages during this 
 time ; but on the other hand, he will be subjected 
 to little or no risk. 
 
 Let 1000 young men, at the age of 30 years, enter 
 into business with a given amount of capital, all 
 acquired by then* own hard earnings, and let them 
 pursue their busmess 30 years faithfully; that is, 
 till they are 60 years of age. Let 1000 others com- 
 mence at the age of 20, with three times the amount 
 of capital possessed by the former, but at the same 
 time either inherited, or loaned by their friends, 
 and let them pursue their calling till they are 60 
 years of age ; or for a period of 40 years. We will 
 
 * This fact, so obvious to every student of human nature, 
 has sometimes given rise to an opinion that orphans make 
 their way lest in the world. So far as the business of ma 
 king money is concerned, I am not sure but it is so* 
 
 9 * 
 
102 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Testimony of facts. In the U. States generally. In Boston 
 
 suppose the natural talents, capacity for doing busi- 
 ness, and expenditures — in fact every thing, — the 
 same, in both cases. Now it requires no gift of 
 prophecy to foretell, with certainty, that at 60 years 
 of age a far greater proportion of the 1000, who 
 began at 30 and depended solely on their own ex- 
 ertions, will be men of wealth, than of those who 
 began at 20 with three times their capital. The 
 reason of these results is found in the very nature 
 of things, as I have shown both above, and in my 
 remarks on industry. 
 
 But these views are borne out by facts. Go into 
 any city in the United States, and learn the history 
 of the men who are engaged in active and profita- 
 ble business, and are thriving in the world, and my 
 word for it, you will find the far greater part began 
 life with nothing, and have had no resources what? 
 ever but their own head and hands. And in no 
 city is this fact more strikingly verified than in 
 Boston. On the other hand, if you make a list of 
 those who fail in business from year to year, and 
 learn their history, you will find that a very large 
 proportion of them relied on mheritances, credit, 
 or some kind of foreign aid in early life ; — and not 
 a few begun very young. 
 
 There is no doctrine in this volume, which will 
 be more unpopular with its reade3*s, than this. Not 
 a few will, I fear, utterly disbelieve it. They look 
 at the exterior appearance of some young friend, a 
 JittJe older than themselves, who has been lifted 
 
COMMENCING BUSINESS 103 
 
 Dangers of shipwreck. Caution against the hawk-eyed. 
 
 into business and gone on a year or two, and all 
 appears fair and encouraging. They long to imi- 
 tate him. Point them to a do^en others who have 
 gone only a little farther, and have made shipwreck, 
 and it weighs nothing or next to nothing with them. 
 They suspect mismanagement, (which doubtless 
 sometimes exists) and think they shall act more 
 wisely^ 
 
 In almost every considerable shop in this country 
 may be found young men who have nearly served 
 out their time as apprentices, or perhaps have gone 
 a little farther, even, and worked a year or two as 
 journeymen. They have been industrious and fru- 
 gal, and have saved a few hundred dollars. This, 
 on the known principles of human nature, has create 
 ed a strong desire to make additions ; and the desire 
 has increased in a greater ratio than the sum. 
 They are good workmen, perhaps, or if not, they 
 generally think so; and those who have the least 
 merit, generally have the most confidence in them- 
 selves. But if there be one who has merit, there 
 is usually in the neighborhood some hawk-eyed 
 money dealer, who knows that he cannot better 
 invest his funds than in the hands of active young 
 men. This man will search him out, and offer to 
 set him up in business ; and his friends, pleased to 
 have him noticed, give security for payment. Thus 
 flattered, he commonly begins ; and after long pa^ 
 tience and perseverance, he may, by chance, sue-, 
 ceed. But a much greater number are unsuccess^ 
 
104 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 How many young men reason. Fallacy of such reasoning. 
 
 ful, and a few drown their cares and perplexities 
 in the poisoned bowl, or in debauchery ; — perhaps 
 both — thus destroying their minds and souls ; or, 
 it may be, abruptly putting an end to tlieir own 
 existence. 
 
 Young men are apt to reason thus with them- 
 selves. ‘ I am now arrived at an age when others 
 have commenced business and succeeded. It is 
 true I may not succeed ; but I know of no reason 
 why my prospects are not as good as those of A, B, 
 and C, to say the least. I am certainly as good a 
 workman, and know as well how to manage, and 
 attend to my own concerns, without intermeddling 
 with those of others. It is true my friends advise 
 me to work as a journeyman a few years longer; 
 but it is a hard way of living. Besides, what shall 
 I learn all this while, that I do not already know ? 
 TJiey say I shall be improving in the 'practical part 
 of my business, if not in the theory of it. But sliall 
 I not improve while I work for myself.^ Suppose 
 I make blunders. Have not othem done the same ? 
 If I fall, I must get up again. Perhaps it wdll teach 
 me not to stumble again. The fact is, old people 
 never think the young know or can do any thing 
 till they are forty years old. I am determined to 
 make an effort. A good opportunity offers, and 
 such a one may never again occur. I am confident 
 I shall succeed.’ 
 
 How often have I heard this train of reasoning 
 pursued! But if it were correct, how happens it 
 
COMMENCING BUSINESS. 
 
 105 
 
 Mistaken notions of the young Students in medicine. 
 
 that those facts exist which have just been mention^ 
 ed ? More than this ; why do almost all men assert 
 gi'atuitously after they have spent twenty years in 
 their avocation, that although they thought them^ 
 selves wise when they began their profession, they 
 were exceedingly ignorant ? Who ever met with a 
 man that did not feel this ignorance more sensibly 
 after twenty years of experience, than when he first 
 commenced ? 
 
 This self fiatteiy and self confidence — this am^ 
 bition to be men of business and begin to figure in 
 the world, — is not confined to any particular oc- 
 cupation or profession of men, but is found in all. 
 Nor is it confined to those whose object in life is 
 pecuniary emolument. It is perhaps equally com- 
 mon among those who seek their happiness in 
 ameliorating the condition of mankind by legislating 
 for them, settling their quarrels, soothing their pas- 
 sions, or curing the maladies of their souls and 
 bodies. 
 
 Perhaps the evil is not more glaring in any class 
 of the community than in the medical profession^ 
 There is a strong temptation to this, in the facility 
 with which licenses and diplomas may be obtain- 
 ed. Any young man who has common sense, if 
 he can read and write tolerably, may in some of 
 the States, become a knight of the lancet in three 
 years, and follow another employment a consider*- 
 able part of the time besides. He has only to de» 
 vote some of his extra hours to the study of 
 
106 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Medical quackery. Students in theology. Their loss of healtF. 
 
 atomy, surgery, and medicine, recite occasionally 
 to a practitioner, as ignorant, almost, as himself; 
 hear one series of medical lectures; and procure 
 certificates that he has studied medicine ‘three 
 years,’ including the time of the lectures ; and he 
 will be licensed, almost of course. Then he sallies 
 forth to commit depredations on society at discre- 
 tion ; and how many he kills is unknown. ‘ I take 
 it for granted, however,’ said a President of a Col- 
 lege, three years ago, who understood this matter 
 pretty well, ‘ that every half-educated young physi- 
 cian, who succeeds at last in getting a reputable 
 share of practice, must have rid the world, rather 
 prematurely, of some dozen or twenty individuals^ 
 at the least, in order to qualify himself for the pro- 
 fession.’ 
 
 The evil is scarcely more tolerable, as regards 
 young ministers, except that the community in ge- 
 neral have better means of knowing when they are 
 imposed upon by ignorance or quackery in this mat- 
 ter, than in most other professions. The principal 
 book for a student of theology is in the hands of 
 every individual, and he is taught to read and under 
 stand it. The great evil which arises to students 
 of divinity themselves from entering their profes- 
 sion too early, is the loss of health. Neither the 
 minds nor the bodies of young men are equal to 
 the responsibilities of this, or indeed of any other 
 profession or occupation, at 20, and rarely at 25 
 Nothing is more evident than that young men. 
 
COMMENCING BUSINESS. 
 
 107 
 
 New views. Examples. The Savior. John Baptist. Timothy. 
 
 generally, are losers in the end, both in a peciiinary 
 point of view and in regard to health, by commenc- 
 ing business before 30 years of age. But this 1 
 have already attempted to show. 
 
 As regards candidates for the ministry, several 
 eminent divines are beginning to inculcate the opin- 
 ion, with great earnestness, that to enter fully upon 
 the active duties of this laborious vocation before 
 the age I have mentioned, is injurious to them- 
 selves and to the cause they wish to promote — the 
 cause of God. And I hope their voices will be 
 raised loudb* and louder on this topic, till the note 
 of remonstrance reaches the most distant villages 
 of our country. 
 
 It has often occurred to me that every modest 
 young man, whatever may be his destination, might 
 learn wisdom from consulting the history of the 
 Young Man of Nazareth as well as of the illus- 
 trious refonner who prepared the way for him. ^ 
 Our young men, since newspapers have become so 
 common, are apt to think themselves thoroughly 
 versed in law, politics, divinity, &c. ; and are not 
 backward to exhibit their talents. But who is abler 
 at disputation than he who at twelve years of age 
 proved a match for the learned doctors of law at 
 Jerusalem? Did he, whose mind was so mature at 
 twelve, enter upon the duties of his ministry (a task 
 
 *^Even Timothy — young Timothy as he has been often 
 called — was probably in his 30 th year when he was or- 
 dained. 
 
108 tHE TOUNG man’s 
 
 The great question. Seven years’ apprenticeship. Integrity. 
 
 more arduous than has ever fallen to the lot of any 
 human bemg) at 18 or 20 years of age 7 But why 
 not, when he had so much to do ? — Or did he wait 
 till he was in his 30th year ? 
 
 The great question with every young man should 
 not be, When can I get such assistance as will en-^ 
 able me to commence business; — but. Am I well 
 qualified to commence ^ Perfect in his profession, 
 absolutely so, no man ever will be ; but a measure 
 of perfection which is rarely if ever attained under 
 80 years of age, is most certainly demanded. To 
 learn the simplest handicraft employment m some 
 countries, a person must serve an apprenticeship of 
 at least seven years. Here, in America, half that 
 time is thought by many young men an intolerable 
 burden, and they long to throw it off. They wish 
 for what they call a better order of things. The con- 
 sequences of this feeling, and a growing spirit of 
 insubordination, are every year becoming more and 
 more deplorable. 
 
 Section II. Mportance of Integiity^^ 
 
 Every one will admit the importance of integrity 
 in all his dealings, for however dishonest he may 
 be himself, he cannot avoid perceiving the neces- 
 sity of integrity in others. No society could exist 
 were it not for the measure of this virtue which 
 remains. Without a degree of confidence^ in trans-' 
 acting business with each other, even the savage life' 
 ih- 
 
01?’ INtEGRlTt. 109 
 
 Few practise integrity. First steps to fraud. Honesty defined* 
 
 would be a thousand times more savage than it now 
 is. Without it, a gang of thieves or robbers could 
 not long hold together. 
 
 But while all admit the sterling importance of 
 strict integrity, how few practise it ! Let me pre-^ 
 vail when I entreat the young not to hazard either 
 their reputation or peace of mind for the uncertain 
 advantages to be derived from unfair dealing. It is 
 madness, especially in one who is just beginning 
 the world. It would be so, if by a single unfair act 
 he could get a fortune ; leaving the loss of the soul 
 out of the question. For if a trader, for example, 
 is once generally known to be guilty of fraud, or 
 even of taking exorbitant profits, there is an end to 
 his reputation. Bad as the world is, there is some 
 respect paid to integrity, and wo be to him who 
 forgets it. 
 
 If a person habitually allows himself in a single 
 act not sanctioned by the great and golden rule of 
 loving others as we do ourselves, he has entered a 
 road whose everlasting progress is downward. 
 Fraudulent in one point, he will soon be so in 
 another — and another ; and so on to the end of 
 the chapter, if there be any end to it. At least no 
 one who has gone a step in the downward road, 
 can assure himself that this will not be the dreadful 
 result. 
 
 An honest bargain is that only in which the fair 
 market price or value of a commodity is mutually 
 allowed, so far as this is known. The market prieO 
 10 
 
110 THE tOUNG MAn’^ GUIDE. 
 
 Market prices. Many sorts of fraud. Concealment. 
 
 is usually, the equitable price of a thing. It will be 
 the object of every honest man to render, in all 
 cases, an equivalent for what he receives. Where 
 the market price cannot be known, each of the 
 parties to an honest contract will endeavor to come 
 as near it as possible ; keeping in mind the rule of 
 doing to others as they would desire others to do to 
 them in similar ckcumstarices. Every bargain not 
 formed on these principles is, in its results, unjust ; 
 and if intentional, is fraudulent. 
 
 There are a great many varieties of this species 
 of fraud. 
 
 1. Concealing the market price. How many do 
 this ; and thus buy for less, and sell for more than 
 a fair valuation ! Why so many practise this kind 
 of fraud, and insist at the same time that it is no 
 fi*aud at all, is absolutely inconceivable, except on 
 the supposition that they are blinded by avarice. 
 For they perfectly know that their customers would 
 not deal with them at any other than market prices, 
 except from sheer ignorance ; and that the advan- 
 tage which they gain, is gained by misapprehension 
 of the real value of the commodities. But can an 
 honest man take this advantage? Would he take 
 it of a child ? Or if he did, would not persons of 
 common sense despise him for it ? 
 
 But why not as well take advantage of a child as 
 of a man ? Because, it may be answered, the child 
 does not know the worth of what he buys or sells ; 
 but the man does, or might. But in the case spe- 
 
OF INTEGRITY. Ill 
 
 Misrepresentation. Sellinpr goods which are unsound or defective^ 
 
 cified, it is evident he does not know it, if he did 
 he would not make the bargain. And for proof 
 that such conduct is downright fraud, the person 
 who commits it, has only to ask himself whether 
 he would be willing others should take a similar 
 advantage of his ignorance. ‘I do as I agree,’ is 
 often the best excuse such men can make, when 
 reasoned with on the injustice of their conduct, 
 without deciding the question, whether then agree- 
 ment is founded on a desne to do right. 
 
 2. Others misrepresent the market price. This 
 is done in various ways. They heard somebody 
 say the price in market was so or so ; or such a one 
 bought at such or such a price, or another sold at 
 such a price: all of which prices, purchases, and 
 sales are known positively to be different from those 
 which generally prevail. Many contrive to satisfy 
 their consciences m this way, who would by no 
 means venture at once upon plain and palpable 
 lying. 
 
 3. The selling of goods or property which is 
 unsound and defective^ under direct professions that 
 it is sound and good, is another variety of this 
 species of fraud. It is sometimes done by direct 
 lying, and sometimes by indefinite and hypocritical 
 insinuations. Agents, and retailers often assert 
 their wares to be good, because those of whom 
 they have received them declare them to be such. 
 These declarations are often believed, because the 
 seller appears or professes to believe them ; while 
 in truth, he may not give them the least credit. 
 
THE YOUNG MAN’S GUIDE. 
 
 SeJling quack medicines. Jockeys, Their apology. 
 
 One of the grossest impositions of this kind — 
 common as it is — is practised upon the public in 
 advertising and selling nostrums as safe and val- 
 uable medicines. These are ushered into news- 
 papers with a long train of pompous declarations, 
 almost always false, and always delusive. The 
 silly purchaser buys and uses the medicine chiefly 
 or solely because it is sold by a respectable man, 
 under the sanction of advertisements to which that 
 respectable man lends his countenance. Were 
 good men to decline this wretched employment, 
 the medicines would probably soon fall into abso- 
 lute discredit ; and health and limbs and life would, 
 in many instances, be preserved from unnecessary 
 destruction. 
 
 4. Another species of fi*aud consists in conceal-^ 
 ing the defects of what we sell. This is the gen- 
 eral art and villany of that class of men, commonly 
 called Joc/ce?/5; a class which, in reality, embraces 
 some who would startle at the thought of being 
 such ; — and whole multitudes who would receive 
 the appellation with disdain. 
 
 The common subterfuge of the jockey is, that 
 he gives no false accounts ; that the purchaser has 
 eyes of his own, and must judge of the goods 
 for himself. No defence can be more lame and 
 wretched ; and hardly any more impudent. 
 
 No purchaser can possibly discover many of the 
 defects in commodities ; he is therefore obliged to 
 depend on the seller for information concerning 
 
OF INTEGRITY. 
 
 113 
 
 A timely caution. 
 
 A lame excuse. ‘ Beating down.’ 
 
 them. All this the seller well knows, and if an 
 honest man, will give the information. Now as 
 no purchaser would buy the articles, if he knew 
 their defects, except at a reduced price, whenever 
 the seller does not give this information, and the 
 purchaser is taken in, it is by downright villany, 
 whatever some may pretend to the contrary. Nor 
 ^vill the common plea, that if they buy a bad arti- 
 cle, they have a right to sell it again as well as 
 tliey can, ever justify the wretched practice of 
 selling defective goods, at the full value of those 
 which are more perfect. 
 
 5. A fraud, still meaner, is practised, when we 
 endeavor to loiver the value of such commodities as 
 ive wish to buy, ‘It is naught, it is naught, says 
 the buyer, but when he hath gone his way he 
 boasteth,’ is as applicable to our times, as to those 
 of Solomon. The ignorant, the modest, and the 
 necessitous — persons who should be the last to 
 suffer from fraud, — are, in this way, often made 
 victims. A decisive tone and confident airs, in 
 men better dressed, and who are sometimes sup- 
 posed to know better than themselves, easily bear 
 down persons so circumstanced, and persuade them 
 to sell their commodities for less than they are 
 really worth. 
 
 Young shopkeepers are often the dupes of this 
 species of treatment. Partly with a view to secure 
 the future custom of the stranger, and partly in 
 consequence of his statements that he cun buy n 
 10 * 
 
114 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 False weights and measures. This evil avoidable. 
 
 similar article elswhere at a much lower price, 
 (when perhaps the quality of the other is vastly 
 inferior) they not unfrequently sell goods at a pos- 
 itive sacrifice — and what do they gain by it.^ The 
 pleasure of being laughed at by the purchaser, as 
 soon as he is out of sight, for suftermg themselves 
 to be beaten doivn, as the phrase is ; and of having 
 him boast of his bargain, and trumpet abroad, with- 
 out a blush, the value of the articles which he had 
 just been decrying ! 
 
 6. 1 mention the use of false weights and meas^ 
 ures last, not because it is a less heinous fraud, but 
 because I hope it is less frequently practised than 
 many others. But it is a lamentable truth that 
 weights and measures are sometimes used when they 
 are known to be false ; and quite often when they 
 are suspected to be so. More frequently still, they 
 are used when they have been permitted to become 
 defective through inattention. They are often form-- 
 ed of perishable materials, To meet this there are 
 in most of our communities, officers appointed to 
 be sealers of weights and measures. When the 
 latter are made of substances knowm to be liable to 
 decay or wear, the proprietor is unpardonable if 
 he does not have them frequently and thoroughly 
 examined, 
 
 I have only adverted to some of the more com- 
 rnon kinds of fraud ; such as the young are daily, 
 and often hourly exposed to, and against which it 
 is especially important, not only to their own repu- 
 
OF INTEGRITY. 
 
 115 
 
 Other sorts of fraud Thirteen kinds mentioned. 
 
 tation, but to their success iii business, that they 
 sliould be on then’ guard. I will just enumerate a 
 few others, for my limits preclude the possibility of 
 any thing more than a bare enumeration. 
 
 1. Suffering borrowed articles to be injured by 
 our negligence. 2. Detaining them in our posses- 
 sion longer than the lender had reason to expect, 
 3. Employing them for purposes not contemplated 
 by the lender. 4. The returning of an article of 
 inferior value, although in appearance like that 
 which was borrowed. 5. Passing suspected bank 
 bills, or depreciated counterfeit or clipped coin. 
 Some persons are so conscientious on this point, 
 that they will sell a clipped piece for old metalj 
 rather than pass it. But such rigid honesty is rather 
 rare. 6. The use of pocket money, by the young, 
 in a manner different from that which was known 
 to be conteniplated by the parent, or master who 
 furnished it. 7. The employment of time in a dif- 
 ferent manner from what was mtended; the mu- 
 tilating, by hackmg, breaking, soiling, or in any 
 other manner wantonly mjuring buildings, fences, 
 and other property, public or private; — and espe- 
 cially crops and fruit trees. 8. Contracting debts, 
 though ever so small, without the almost certain 
 prospect of being able to pay them. 9. Neglecting 
 to pay them at the time expected. 10. Paying in 
 something of less value than we ought. 11. Breach- 
 es of trust. 12. Breaking of promises. 13. Overtrad- 
 ing by means of borrowed capital. 
 
116 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Method in business. Memorandum book. Its uses. 
 
 Section III. Method in Business* 
 
 There is one class of men who are of inestima- 
 ble value to society — and the more so from their 
 scarcity; — I mean men of business. It is true 
 you could hardly offer a greater insult to most per- 
 sons than to say they are not of this class ; 
 but you cannot have been veiy observing not to 
 have learned, that they who most deserve the 
 charge will think themselves the most insulted by it. 
 
 Nothing contributes more to despatch, as well as 
 safety and success in business, than method and 
 regularity. Let a person set down in his memo- 
 randum book, every morning, the several articles 
 of business that ought to be done during the day : 
 and beginning wdth the first person he is to call 
 upon, or the first place he is to go to, finish that 
 affair, if possible, before he begins another ; and so 
 on with the rest. 
 
 A man of business, who observes this method, 
 will hardly ever find himself hurried or discon- 
 certed by forgetfulness. And he who sets down 
 all his transactions in writing, and keeps his ac- 
 counts, and the whole state of his affairs, in a dis- 
 tinct and accurate order, so that at any time, by 
 looking into his books, he can see in what condition 
 his concerns are, and w’hether he is in a thriving 
 or declining way; — such a one^ I say, deserves 
 properly the character of a man of business ; and 
 
APPLICATION TO BUSINESS. 117 
 
 Anecdote. Much business in little time. Art of thinking well 
 
 lias a pretty fair prospect of successs in his plans.* 
 But such exactness seldom suits the man of pleas- 
 ure. He has other things in his head. 
 
 The way to transact a great deal of business in 
 a little time, and to do it well, is to observe three 
 rules. 1. Speak to the point. 2. Use no more 
 words than are necessary, fully to express your 
 meaning. 3. Study beforehand, and set down in 
 writing afterwards, a sketch of the transaction. 
 
 To enable a person to speak to the point, he 
 must have acquired, as one essential pre-requisite, 
 the art of thinking to the point. To effect these 
 objects, or rather this object, as they constitute in 
 reality but one, is the legitimate end of the study of 
 grammar; of the importance of which I am to 
 speak elsewhere. This branch is almost equally 
 indispensable in following the other two rules ; but 
 here, a thorough knowledge of numbers, as well as 
 of language, will be demanded. 
 
 Section IV. Application to Business. 
 
 There is one piece of prudence, above all oth- 
 ers, absolutely necessary to those who expect to 
 
 * A gentleman of my acquaintance assures me that he 
 always leaves his books, accounts, &c., in so complete a 
 state, on going to bed, that if he should die during the night, 
 every thing could be perfectly understood. This rule he 
 adiieres to, as a matter of duty j not only to his fellow nien, 
 but to God. 
 
118 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Perseverance. Example of this kind, from Burgh. Diligence. 
 
 raise themselves in the world by an employment 
 of any kind ; I mean a constant, unwearied appli- 
 cation to the main pursuit. By means of per- 
 severing diligence, joined to frugality, we see many 
 people in the lowest and most laborious stations in 
 life, raise themselves to such circumstances as will 
 allow them, in their old age, that relief fix)m exces- 
 sive anxiety and toil which ai'e necessary to make 
 the decline of life easy and comfortable. 
 
 Burgh mentions a merchant, who, at first setting 
 out, opened and shut his shop every day for sev- 
 eral weeks together, without selling goods to the 
 value of two cents ; who by the force of application 
 for a course of years, rose, at last, to a handsome 
 fortune. But I have known many who had a va- 
 riety of opportunities for settling themselves com- 
 fortably in the world, yet, for want of steadiness to 
 carry any scheme to perfection, they sunk from one 
 degree of wretchedness to another for many years 
 together, without the least hopes of ever getting 
 above distress and pinching want. 
 
 There is hardly an employment in life so trifling 
 that it will not afford a subsistence, if constantly 
 and faithfully followed. Indeed, it is by indefati- 
 gable diligence alone, that a. fortune can be acquir- 
 ed in any business whatever. An estate procured 
 by wdiat is commonly called a lucky hit, is a rare 
 instance ; and he who expects to have his fortune 
 made in that way, is about as rational as he who 
 should neglect all proba))ie means of earning, in 
 
APPLrCATION TO BUSINESS. 119 
 
 Necessity of application. No useful business mean. Drones. 
 
 hopes that he should some time or other find a 
 treasure. 
 
 There is no such thing as continuing in the same 
 condition without an income of some kind or other. 
 Jf a man does not bestir himselfj poverty must, 
 sooner or later, overtake him. If he continues to 
 expend for the necessary charges of life, and will 
 not take the pains to gain something to supply the 
 place of what he deals out, his funds must at length 
 come to an end; and the misery of poverty fall 
 upon him at an age when he is less able to grapple 
 with it. 
 
 No employment that is really useful to mankind 
 deserves to be regarded as mean. This has been 
 a stumbling stone to many young men. Because 
 they could not pursue a course which they deem- 
 ed sufficiently respectable, they neglected business 
 altogether until so late in life that they were asham- 
 ed to make a beginning. A most fatal mistake. 
 Pin making is a minute affair, but will any one 
 call the employment a mean one ? If so, it is one 
 which the whole civilized world encourage, and to 
 which they are under lasting obligation daily. Any 
 useful business ought to be reputable, which is 
 reputably followed. 
 
 The character of a drone is ahvays, especially 
 among the human species, one of the most con- 
 temptible. In proportion to a person’s activity for 
 his own good and that of his fellow creatures, he 
 is to be regarded as a more or less valuable mem- 
 
ISO THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Idle men not very valuable. Prudential consideration. 
 
 ber of society. If all the idle people in the United 
 States were to be buried in one year, the loss would 
 be trifling in comparison with the loss of only a 
 very few industrious people. Each moment of time 
 ought to be put to proper use, either in business, in 
 improving the mind, in the innocent and necessary 
 relaxations and entertainments of life, or in the care 
 of the moral and religious part of our nature. Each 
 moment of time is, in the language of theology, a 
 monument of Divine mercy. 
 
 Section Proper Time of Doing Business, 
 
 There are times and seasons for eveiy lawful 
 purpose of life, and a very material part of pru- 
 dence is to judge rightly, and make the best of 
 them. If you have to deal, for example, with a 
 phlegmatic gloomy man, take him, if you can, over 
 his bottle. This advice may seem, at first view, to 
 give countenance to a species of fraud : but is it so ? 
 These hypochondriacal people have their fits and 
 starts, and if you do not take them when they are 
 in an agreeable state of mind, you are very likely to 
 find them quite as much below par, as the bottle 
 raises them above. But if you deal with them in this 
 condition, they are no more themselves than in the 
 former case. I therefore think the advice correct. 
 It is on the same principles, and in tlie same belief^ 
 that I would advise you, when you deal with a 
 
PROPER TIME OF BUSINESS. 121 
 
 How to meet various sorts of people. A caution. 
 
 covetous man, to propose your business to him im- 
 mediately after he has been receiving, rather than 
 expending money. So if you have to do with a 
 di'unkard, call on him in the morning ; for then, if 
 ever, his head is clear. 
 
 Again ; if you know a person to be unhappy in 
 his family, meet him abroad if possible, rather than 
 at his own house. A statesman will not be likely 
 to give you a fivorable reception immediately after 
 being disappointed in some of his schemes. Some 
 people are always sour and ill humored from the 
 hour of rising till they have dined. 
 
 And as in persons, so in things, the time is a mat- 
 ter of great consequence ; an eye to the rise and 
 fall of goods ; the favorable season of importing 
 and exporting ; — these are some of the things 
 which require the attention of those who expect 
 any considerable share of success. 
 
 It is not certain but some dishonest person, 
 under shelter of the rule, in this chapter, may grat- 
 ify a wish to take unfair advantages of those with 
 whom he deals. But I hope otherwise ; for 1 should 
 be sorry to give countenance, for one moment, to 
 such conduct. My whole purpose (in this place) is 
 to give direction to the young for securing their 
 own rights ; not for taking away the rights of others. 
 The man who loves his neighbor as himself, will 
 not surely put a wrong construction on what I have 
 written. I would fain hope that there is no depar- 
 ture here or elsewhere, in the book, from sound 
 11 
 
122 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Owe nobody. This not an impossibility. Calculating 
 
 Christian morality; for it is the bible, on which I 
 wish to see all moral rules based. 
 
 Section VI. Buying upon Trust 
 
 ‘ Owe no man any thing, ’ is an apostolic injunc- 
 tion ; and happy is he who has it in his power to 
 obey. In my own opinion, most young men pos- 
 sess this power, did they perceive the importance 
 of using it by commencing right. It is not so diffi- 
 cult a thing always to purchase with ready money, 
 as many people imagine. The great difficulty is to 
 moderate our desires and diminish our wants within 
 bounds proportioned to our income. We can ex- 
 pend much, or live on little ; and this, too, without 
 descending to absolute penury. It is truly surpris- 
 ing to observe how people in similar rank, condition, 
 and circumstances, contrive to expend so very dif- 
 ferently. I have known instances of young men 
 who would thrive on an income which would not 
 more than half support their neighbors in cii’cum- 
 stances evidently similar. 
 
 Study therefore to live within your income. 
 To this end you must calculate. But here you 
 will be obliged to learn much from personal ex- 
 perience, dear as her school is, unless you are 
 willing to learn from that of others. If, for ex- 
 ample, your income is $600 a year, and you sit 
 down at the commencement of the year and cal- 
 culate on expending $400, and saving the remain- 
 
BUYING UPON TRUST. 
 
 123 
 
 Buy only what you need. Franklin. F.vils of credit. 
 
 der, you will be very liable to fail in your calcula- 
 tion. l>Lit if you call in the experience of wiser 
 heads who have travelled the road of life before 
 you, they will tell you that after you have made 
 every reasonable allowance for necessary expenses 
 during the year, and believe yourself able to lay up 
 $200, you will not, once in ten times, be able to 
 save more than two thirds of that sum — and this, 
 too, without any sickness or casualty. 
 
 It is an important point never to huy what you 
 do not want. Many people buy an article merely 
 because it is cheap, and they can have credit. It 
 is true they imagine they shall want it at some 
 future time, or can sell it again to advantage. But 
 they would not buy at })resent, if it cost them cash, 
 from their pockets. The mischief is that w^hen the 
 day of payment is distant, the cost seems more 
 trifling than it really is. Franklin’s advice is in 
 point; ‘Buy what thou hast no need of, and ere 
 long thou shalt sell thy necessaries;’ — and such 
 persons would do well to remember it. 
 
 The difference betw^een credit and ready money 
 is very great. Innumerable things are not bought 
 at all with ready mone}^, which would be bought 
 in case of trust ; so much easier, is it, to order a 
 thing than to pay for it. A future day, a day of 
 payment must come, to be sure ; but that is little 
 tliought of at the time. But if the money were 
 to be drawn out the moment the thing was re- 
 ceived or offej-ed, these questions would arise ; Caii 
 
124 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Origin of suicides. Bills and bonds. Keeping written accounts 
 
 I not do without it ? Is it indispensable ? And if 1 
 do not buy it, shall I suffer a loss or injury greater in 
 amount than the cost of the thing? If these ques- 
 tions were put, every time we make a purchase, we 
 should seldom hear of those suicides which dis- 
 grace this country, and the old world still more. 
 
 I am aware that it will be said, and very truly, 
 that the concerns of merchants, the purchasing of 
 great estates, and various other large transactions, 
 cannot be carried on in this manner ; but these are 
 rare exceptions to the rule. And even in these 
 cases, there might be much less of bills and bonds, 
 and all the sources of litigation, than there now is. 
 But in the every day business of life, in transactions 
 with the butcher, the baker, the tailor, the shoe- 
 maker, what excuse can there be for pleading the 
 example of the merchant, who carries on his work 
 by ships and exchanges ? 
 
 A certain young man, on being requested to keep 
 an account of all he received and expended, an- 
 swered that his business was not to keep account 
 books : that he was sure not to make a mistake as 
 to his income ; and that as to his expenditure, the 
 purse that held his money, w^ould be an infallible 
 guide, for he never bought any thing that he did 
 not immediately pay for. I do not mean to recom- 
 mend to young n^en not to keep written accounts, 
 for as the world is, I deem it indispensable. 
 
 Few, it is believed, will deny that they generally 
 pay, for the same article, a fourth part more, in the 
 
BUYING UPON TRUST. 125 
 
 Jistimates of losses by running in debt. Names buy nothing 
 
 case of trust, than in that of ready money. Sup- 
 pose now, the baker, butcher, tailor, and shoemaker, 
 receive from you $400 a year. Now, if you multi- 
 ply the $100 you lose, by not paying ready money, 
 by 20, you will find that at the end of twenty 
 years, you have a loss of $2,000, besides the ac- 
 cumulated interest. 
 
 The fathers of the English churchy forbade selling 
 on trust at a higher price than for ready money, 
 which was the same thing in effect as to forbid 
 trust; and this was doubtless one of the great ob- 
 jects those wise and pious men had in view; for 
 they were fathers in legislation and morals, as well 
 as in religion. But we of the present age, seem 
 to have grown wiser than they, and not only make 
 a difference in the price, regulated by the differ- 
 ence in the mode of payment, but no one is expect- 
 ed to do otherwise. We are not only allovv^ed to 
 charge something for the use of the money, but 
 sometliing additional for the risk of the loss which 
 may frequently arise, — and most frequently does 
 arise — from tlie misfortunes of those to whom we 
 thus assign our goods on trust. 
 
 The Jiian, therefore, who purchases on trust, not 
 only pays for being credited, but he also pays his 
 share of what the tradesman loses by his general 
 practice of selling iq)on trust ; and after all, he is 
 not so good a customer as the m^n who purchases 
 cheaply with ready money. His naine, indeed, is in 
 the tradesman’s book, but witli that name the trades- 
 man cannot buy a fresh siq>ply of goods. 
 
 IP 
 
.126 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Advantages of ready money. Stinginess, and avarice. 
 
 Infinite, almost, are the ways in which people 
 lose by this sort of dealing. Domestics sometimes 
 go and order things not wanted at all; at other 
 times more than is wanted. All this would be 
 obviated by purchasing with ready money; for 
 whether through the hands of the party himself, 
 or those of some other person, there would always 
 be an actual counting out of the monej''. Somebody 
 would see the thing bought, and the money paid. 
 And as the master would give the steward or house- 
 keeper a purse of money at the time, he would see 
 the money too, w^oidd set a proper value upon it, 
 and would just desire to know upon what it had 
 been expended. 
 
 Every man, w^ho purchases for ready money, 
 will naturally make the amount of the purchase as 
 low as possible, in proportion to his means. This 
 care and frugality will make an addition to his 
 means; and therefore, at the end of his life, he 
 will have a great deal more to spend, and still be 
 as rich as if he had been trusted all his days. In 
 addition to this, he will eat, and drink, and sleep 
 in peace, and avoid all the endless papers, and 
 writings, and mceipts, and bills, and disputes, and 
 lawsuits, inseparable from the credit system. 
 
 This is by no means intended as a lesson of 
 stinginess, nor is it any part of my purpose to in- 
 c.ulcate the plan of heaping up money. But pur- 
 chasing with ready money really gives you more 
 money to purchase with ; you can afford to have a 
 
OF TRUSTING OTHERS. 127 
 
 Temptation avoided. Charity often called for. An old maxim. 
 
 gi'eater quantity and variety of enjoyments. In the 
 town, it will tend to hasten your pace along the 
 streets, for the temjitation at the w^indows is ans- 
 wered in a moment by clapping your hand upon 
 your pocket ; and the question ; ‘ Do I really want 
 it.^ ’ is sure to recur immediately ; because the touch 
 of the money will put the thought into your mind. 
 
 Now supposing you to have a fortune, even 
 beyond your actual wants, would not the money 
 which you might save in this way, be very well ap- 
 plied hi acts of real benevolence ? Can you walk 
 or ride a mile, in the city or country, or go to lialf 
 a dozen houses ; or in fact can you open your eyes 
 without seeing some human being, born in the 
 same country with yourself, and who, on that ac- 
 count alone, has some claim upon your good wishes 
 and your charity ? Can you, if you would, avoid 
 seeing one person, if no more, to whom even a small 
 portion of your annual savings would convey glad- 
 ness of heart Your own feelings will suggest 
 the answer. 
 
 Section Vll. Of entrusting Business to others, 
 
 ‘ If you wish to have your business done, go ; if 
 not, send.’ This is an old maxim ; and one wdiich 
 is no less true than old. Every young man, on set- 
 ting out in the world, should make it a rule, never to 
 trust any thing of consequence to another, which he 
 can, without too much difficulty, perform himself. 
 
128 THE YOUNG 3IAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Reasons for attending to our business. Trusting dependants! 
 
 1. Because, let a person liave my interest ever 
 so much at heart, I am sure I regard it more my- 
 self. 
 
 2. Nothing is more difficult than to know, in all 
 cases, the characters of those we confide in. How 
 can we expect to understand the characters of 
 others, when we scarcely know our own ? Which 
 of us can know, positively, that he shall never be 
 guilty of another vice or weakness, or yield to an- 
 other temptation, and thus forfeit public confidence ? 
 Who, then, will needlessly trust another, when he 
 can hardly be sure of himself.^ 
 
 3. No substitute we can employ, can understand 
 our business as well as ourselves. 
 
 4. We can change our measures according to 
 changing circumstances; whicli gives us those 
 opportunities of doing things in the best way, of 
 which another will not feel justified in availing 
 himself. 
 
 As for dependants of every kind, it should ever 
 be remembered that their master’s interest some- 
 times possesses only the second place in their hearts. 
 Self-love, with such, will be the ruling principle of 
 action ; and no fidelity whatever will prevent a 
 person from bestowing a good deal of thought upon 
 his own concerns. But this must, of necessity, 
 break in more or less upon his diligence in con- 
 sulting the interest of his employers. How men of 
 business can venture, as they sometimes do, to trust 
 concerns of great importance, for half of every 
 
OF TRUSTING OTHERS. 329 
 
 A fashionable maxim. Sometimes leads to error. Doing good. 
 
 week in the year, (which is half the whole year) to 
 dependants, and thus expect others to take care of 
 their business, when they will not be at the trouble 
 of minding it themselves, is to me inconceivable ! 
 Nor does the detection, from tinle to time, of fraud 
 in such persons, seem at all to diminish this practice. 
 
 There is a maxim among business people, ‘ nev- 
 er to do tliat for themselves which they can pay 
 another for doing.’^ Tliis, though true to a certain 
 extent, is liable to abuse. If every body, without 
 discrimination, could be safely trusted, the maxim 
 might be more just ; since nothing is more obvious 
 than that laborers are often at hand, whose time 
 can be bought for a much less sum of money than 
 you would yourself earn in the meantime. I have 
 often known people make or mend little pieces 
 of furniture, implements of their occupations, &c. 
 to save expense, when they could have earned, at 
 their labor during the same time, twice the sum 
 necessary to pay a trusty and excellent workman 
 for doing it. 
 
 But, as I have already observed, persons are not 
 always at hand, in whom you can confide ; so that 
 the certainty of having a thing done right, is worth 
 much more than the loss of a little time. Besides, 
 God has never said how much we must do in this 
 world. We are indeed to do all we can, and at the 
 same time do it well; but how much that is, we 
 must judge. He is not necessarily the most useful 
 man who does even the gi^eatest amount of good ; — 
 
130 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 A mistake corrected. Eagerness to overtrade. Its danger 
 
 but he who does the most good, attended with the 
 least evil. 
 
 But we should remember that what others do, is 
 not done by ourselves. Still,' an individual may often 
 do many little things without any hindrance to his 
 main object. For example, I w^ould not thank a 
 person to make or mend my pen, or shave me ; 
 because I can write as much, or perform as much 
 business of any kind, in a week or month — proba- 
 bly more — if I stop to mpnd my pens, shave my- 
 self daily, make fires, saw and split wood, &c. as 
 if I do not. And the same is true of a thousand 
 other things. 
 
 Section VIII. Over Trading. 
 
 I have already classed this among the frauds into 
 which business men are in danger of falling; and 
 1 cannot but think its character will be pretty well 
 established by what follows. 
 
 Over trading is an error into which many indus- 
 trious, and active young men are apt to run, from 
 a desire of getting ricli more rapidly than they are 
 able to do with a smaller business. And yet pro- 
 fusion itself is not more dangerous. Indeed, 1 
 question whether idleness brings more people to 
 ruin than over trading. 
 
 This subject is intimately connected with credit, 
 for it is the credit system that gives such facilities 
 to over trading. But of the evils of credit I have 
 
MAKING CONTRACTS. 
 
 131 
 
 Sin of monopoly. Making bargains beforehand. Reasons. 
 
 treated fully elswhere. I will only add, under this 
 head, a few remarks on one particular species of 
 trading. I refer to the conduct of many persons, 
 with large capitals, who, for the sake of adding to 
 a heap already too large, monopolize the market, — 
 or trade for a profit which they know dealers of 
 smaller fortunes cannot possibly live by. If such 
 men really think that raising tliemselves on the ruin 
 of others, in this manner, is justifiable, and tliat rich- 
 es obtained in this manner are fairly earned, they 
 must certamly have either neglected to inform 
 themselves, or stifled the remonstrances of con- 
 science, and bid defiance to the laws of God. 
 
 Section IX. Making Contracts beforehand. 
 
 In making bargains — with workmen, for exam- 
 ple — always do it beforehand, and never suffer 
 the matter to be deferred by their saying they will 
 leave it to your discretion. 
 
 There are several reasons why this ought to be 
 done. 1st. It prevents any difficulty afterward ; and 
 does no harm, even when the intentions of both 
 parties are perfectly good. 2d. If you are dealing 
 with a knave, it jn’events him from accomplishing 
 any evil designs he may have upon you. 3d. 
 Young people are apt to be deceived by appear- 
 naces, both from a credulity common to their youth 
 and inexperience, and because neither the young 
 nor the old have any certain method of knowuig 
 
132 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Contracts sliould be in writing. The sharper. The avaricious* 
 
 human character by externals. The most open 
 hearted are the most liable to be imposed upon by 
 the designing. 
 
 It will be well to have all your business — of 
 course all contracts — as far as may be practicable, 
 in writing. And it would be well if men of busi- 
 ness would make it a constant rule, whenever and 
 wherever it is possible, to draw up a minute or 
 memorial of every transaction, subscribed by both, 
 with a clause signifying that in case of any differ- 
 ence, they would submit the matter to arbitration. 
 
 Nothing is more common than for a designing 
 person to put off the individual he wishes to take 
 advantage of, by saying; We shanH disagree, IHl 
 do whaVs right about it; I won't ivrong you, fyc. 
 And then when accounts come to be settled, and 
 the party who thinks himself aggrieved, says that 
 • he made the bargain with the expectation of having 
 such and such advantages allowed him, JVb, says 
 the sharper, I never told you any such thing. 
 
 It is on this account that you cannot be too exact 
 in making contracts ; nor is there indeed any safety 
 in dealing with deceitful and avaricious people, 
 after you have taken all the precaution in your 
 power. 
 
WHOM TO DEAL WITH. 133 
 
 Two maxims reconciled. How to detect knavery. 
 
 Section X. How to know with whom to deal. 
 
 TJiere are two maxims in common life that seem 
 to clash with each other, most pointedly. The fii*st 
 is, ‘ Use every precaution with a stranger, that you 
 would wish you had done, should he turn out to be 
 a villain;’ and secondly, ‘Treat every man as an 
 honest man, until he proves to be otherwise.’ 
 
 Now there is good advice in both these maxims. 
 By this I mean that they may both be observed, 
 to a certain extent, without interfering with each 
 other. You may be cautious about hastily becom- 
 ing acquainted with a stranger, and yet so far as 
 you have any concern with him, treat him like 
 an honest man. No reasonable person will com- 
 plain if you do not unbosom yourself to him at 
 once. And if he is unreasonable, you will not 
 wish for an intimate acquaintance with him. 
 
 My present purpose is to offer a few hints, with 
 a view to assist you in judgmg of the characters of 
 those with whom it may be your lot to deal. Re- 
 member, however, that like all things human, they 
 are imperfect. All I can say is that they are the 
 best I can offer. * 
 
 There is something in knavery that will hardly 
 bear the inspection of a piercing eye; and you 
 may, more generally, observe in a sharper an un- 
 steady and confused look. If a person is per- 
 j^uflded of the uncommon sagacity of one before 
 .12 
 
134 THE YOUNH man’s GtJIDE. 
 
 Avaricious men seldom honest. Cant and fawning. Suspicion. 
 
 wliom he is to appear, he will hardly succeed in 
 mustering impudence and artifice enough to bear 
 him through without faltering. It will, therefore, 
 be a good way to try one whom you have reason 
 to suspect of a design upon you, by fixing your 
 eyes upon his, and bringing up a supposition of 
 your having to do with one wliose integrity you 
 suspected; stating what you would do in such a 
 case. If the person you are talking with be really 
 what you expect, he will hardly be able to keep his 
 countenance. 
 
 It will be a safe rule, — though doubtless there 
 are exceptions to it, — to take mankind to be more 
 or less avaricious. Yet a great love of money is 
 a great enemy to honesty. The aged are, in this 
 respect, more dangerous than the young. It will 
 be your wisdom ever to be cautious of aged ava- 
 rice; and especially of those who, in an affected 
 and forced manner, bring in religion, and talk much 
 of duty on all occasions ; of all smooth and fawning 
 people ; of those who are very talkative, and who, 
 in dealing with you, endeavor to draw off your at- 
 tention from the point in hand by incoherent or 
 random exi)ressions. 
 
 I have already advised you how to proceed with 
 those of whom you have good reason to be suspi- 
 cious. But by all means avoid entertaining unne- 
 cessary suspicions of your fellow beings; for it 
 will usually render both you and them the more 
 miserable. It is often owing to a consciousness 
 
WHOM TO DEAL WITH. 
 
 135 
 
 Boasters. Promisers. Avoid the cruel man. 
 
 of a designing temper, in ourselves, that we are led 
 to suspect others. 
 
 If you hear a person boasting of having got a 
 remarkably good bargain, you may generally con- 
 clude him by no means too honest ; for almost al- 
 ways where one gains much in a bargain, the other 
 loses. I know well that cases occur where both 
 parties are gainers, but not greatly so. And when 
 you hear a man triumph in gaining by another’s 
 loss, you may easily judge of his character. 
 
 Let me warn you against the sanguine promis- 
 ers. Of these there are two sorts. The first are 
 those who from a foolish custom of fawning upon 
 all those whom they meet with in company, have 
 acquired a habit of promising great favors which 
 they have no idea of performing. The second are 
 a sort of warm hearted people, who while they 
 lavish their promises have some thoughts of per- 
 forming them ; but when the time comes, and the 
 sanguine fit is worn off, the trouble or expense ap- 
 pears in another light ; the promiser cools, and the 
 expectant is disappointed. 
 
 Be cautious of dealing with an avaricious and 
 cruel man, for if it should happen by an unlucky, 
 turn of trade that you should come into the power 
 of such a person, you have nothing to expect but 
 the utmost rigor of the law. 
 
 In negotiating, there are a number of circum- 
 stances to be considered; the neglect of any of 
 which may defeat -your whole scheme. These 
 will be mentioned in the next section. 
 
136 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Studying human nature. The miser. The passionate man. 
 
 Section XI. How to take Men as they are. 
 
 Such a knowledge of human character as will 
 enable us to treat mankind according to their dis- 
 positions, circumstances, and modes of thinking, 
 so as to secure thew aid in all our laudable pur- 
 poses, is absolutely indispensable. And while all 
 men boast of their knowledge of human nature, 
 and would rather be thought ignorant of almost 
 every thing else than this, how obvious it is that 
 there is nothing in regard to which there exists so 
 much ignorance ! 
 
 A miser is by no means a proper person to ap- 
 ply to for a favor that will cost him any thing. 
 But if he chance to be a man of principle, he may 
 make an excellent partner in trade, or arbitrator in 
 a dispute about property ; for he will have patience 
 to investigate little things, and to stand about trifles, 
 which a generous man would scorn. Still, as an 
 honest man, and above all as a Christian, I doubt 
 whether it would be quite right thus to derive ad- 
 vantage from the vices of another. In employing 
 the miser, you give scope to his particular vice. 
 
 A passionate man will fly into a rage at the most 
 trifling affront, but he will generally forget it nearly 
 as soon, and be glad to do any thing in his power 
 to make up with you. It is not therefore so dan- 
 gerous to disoblige him, as the gloomy, sullen mor- 
 tal, who will wait seven yeai's for an opportunity to 
 do you mischief. 
 
TAKING MEN AS THEY ARE. 137 
 
 The slow man. The covetous. Boasters. The talkative* 
 
 A cool, slow man, who is somewhat advanced 
 in age, is generally the best person to advise with. 
 For despatch of business, however, make use of 
 the young, the warm, and the sanguine. Some men 
 are of no character at all ; but always take a tinge 
 from the last company they were in. Their ad- 
 vice, as well as their assistance, is usually good for 
 nothing. 
 
 It is in vain to think of finding anything very 
 valuable in the mind of a covetous man. Avarice 
 is generally the vice of abject spirits. Men who 
 have a very great talent at making money, com- 
 monly have no other ; for the man who began witli 
 nothing, and has accumulated wealth, has been too 
 busy to think of improving his mind; or indeed, 
 to thmk of any tiling else but property. 
 
 A boaster is always to be suspected. His is a 
 natural infirmity, which makes him forget what 
 he is about, and run into a thousand extravagances 
 that have no connection with the truth. With those 
 who have a tolerable knowledge of the world, all 
 his assertions, professions of friendship, promises, 
 and threatenings, go for nothing. Trust him with 
 a secret, and he will surely discover it, either 
 through vanity or levity. 
 
 A meek tempered man is not quite the proper 
 person for you ; his modesty will be easily confound- 
 ed. — The talkative man will be apt to forget him- 
 self, and blunder out something that wiU give you 
 trouble. 
 
 12 ’^ 
 
138 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 The ruling passion. A bully. Six kinds of character. 
 
 A man’s ruling passion is the key by which you 
 may come at his character, and pretty nearly guess 
 how he will act in any given circumstances, unless 
 he is a wit or a fool ; they act chiefly from caprice. 
 
 There are likewise connections between the dif- 
 ferent parts of men’s characters, which it will be 
 useful for you to study. For example, if you find 
 a man to be hasty and passionate, you may gene- 
 rally take it for granted he is open and artless, and 
 so on. Like other general rules, however, this ad- 
 mits of many exceptions. 
 
 A bully is usually a coward. When, therefore, 
 you unluckily have to deal with such a man, the 
 best way is to make up to him boldly, and answer 
 him with firmness. If you show the least sign of 
 submission, he will take advantage of it to use 
 you ill. 
 
 There are six sorts of people, at whose hands 
 you need not expect much kindness. The sordid 
 and narroiD minded^ think of nobody but them- 
 selves. The lazy will not take the trouble to oblige 
 you. The husy have not time to think of you. 
 The overgrown rich man, is above regarding any 
 one, how much soever he may stand in need of 
 assistance. The poor and unhappy often have 
 not the ability. The good natured simpleton, how- 
 ever willing, is incapable of servmg you. * 
 
 ^ These statements may seem to require a little quali- 
 fication. There are tivo sorts of busy men. One sort 
 nre busy, as the result of benevolent purpose. These 
 
TAKING MEN AS THEY ARE. 139 
 
 Youth precipitate. Age cautious. Two sorts of rich men. 
 
 The age of the person you are to deal with is 
 also to be considered. Young people are easily 
 drawn into any scheme, merely from its being new, 
 especially if it falls in with their love of pleasure ; 
 but they are almost as easily discouraged from it 
 by the next person they meet with. They are not 
 good counsellors, for they are apt to be precipitate 
 and thoughtless; but are very fit for action, where 
 you prescribe them a track from which they know 
 they must not vary. Old age, on the contrary, is 
 
 are often among the best of mankind; and though always 
 busy in carrying out their plans, they find time to perform 
 a thousand little acts of goodness, notwithstanding. — It 
 has, indeed, been sometimes said, that when a great public 
 enterprise is about to be undertaken, which requires the 
 aid of individual contributions, either of time or money, 
 those who are most busy, and from whom we might naturally 
 expect the least, often do the most. It is also said that 
 men of business have the most leisure; and it sometimes 
 seems to be true, where they methodize their plans pro- 
 perly. These maxims, however, apply with the most force 
 to men devoted to a higlier purpose than the worship of 
 this world — men who live for God, and the good of his 
 universe, generally. 
 
 There are also two sorts of rich men. Some men may 
 have property in their hands to an immense amount, with- 
 out possessing a worldly spirit. The rich man referred to 
 above, is of another sort. He is the man who ‘ gets all he 
 can, and keeps all he can get.^ This is probably the 
 gospel definition of the term, a rich man, who, it is said, 
 can no more enter a w'orld of spiritual enjoyment than u 
 camel or a cable can go through ‘ the eye of a needle.’ 
 
140 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Old and young counsellors compared. Who are the best. 
 
 slow but sure ; very cautious ; opposed to new 
 schemes and ways of life ; inclining, generally, to 
 covetousness ; fitter to consult with you, than to 
 act for you ; not so easily won by fair speeches or 
 long reasonings ; tenacious of old opinions, cus- 
 toms, and formalities ; apt to be displeased with 
 those, especially younger people, who pretend to 
 question their judgment; fond of deference, and of 
 being listened to. Young people, in their anger, 
 mean less than they say; old people more. You 
 may make up for an injury with most young men; 
 the old are generally more slow in forgiving. 
 
 The fittest character to be conceiiied with in 
 business, is, that in which are united an inviolable 
 integrity, founded upon rational principles of vir- 
 tue and religion, a cool but determined temper, a 
 friendly heart, a ready hand, long experience and 
 extensive knowledge of the w'orld; with a solid 
 reputation of many years’ standing, and easy ch* 
 cumstances. 
 
 Section XII. Of desiring the good opinion of others* 
 
 A young man is not far from ruin, w^hen he can 
 say, without blushing, I donH care what others think 
 of me. To be insensible to public opinion, or to 
 the estimation in which we are held by others, by 
 no means mdicates a good and generous spirit. 
 
 But to have a due regard to public opinion is 
 one thing, and to make that opinion the principal 
 
REGARD TO PUBLIC OPINION. 141 
 
 Regard to public opinion. Enemies sometimes the best of friends. 
 
 rule of action, quite another. There is no greater 
 weakness than that of letting our happiness depend 
 too much upon the opinion of others. Other people 
 lie under such disadvantages for coming at our true 
 characters, and are so often misled by prejudice for 
 or against us, that if our own conscience condemns 
 us, their approbation can give us little consolation. 
 On the other hand, if we are sure we acted from 
 honest motives, and with a reference to proper 
 ends, it is of little consequence if the world should 
 happen to find fault. Mankind, for the most part, 
 are so much governed by fancy, that what will win 
 their hearts to-day, will disgust them to-morrow ; 
 and he who undertakes to please every body at all 
 times, places, and chcumstances, will never be in 
 want of employment. 
 
 A wise man, when he hears of reflections made 
 upon him, will consider whether they are just If 
 they are, he will correct the faults in question, with 
 as much cheerfulness as if they had been suggested 
 by his dearest friend. 
 
 I have sometimes thought that, in this view, 
 enemies were the best of friends. Those who are 
 merely friends in name, are often unwilling to tell 
 us a great many things which it is of the highest 
 importance that we should know. But our ene- 
 mies, from spite, envy, or some other cause, men- 
 tion them ; and we ought on the whole to rejoice 
 that they do, and to make the most of their re« 
 mai’ks. 
 
142 
 
 Of meddlers. 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 A useful rule. Match-makera. 
 
 Section XITI. Intermeddling with the affairs of 
 others. 
 
 There are some persons who never appear to be 
 happy, if left to themselves and their own reflec- 
 tions. All their enjoyment seems to come from 
 without ; none from within. They are ever fcr 
 having something to do with the affairs of others. 
 Not a single petty quarrel can take place, in the 
 neighborhood, but they suffer their feelings to be 
 enlisted, and allow themselves to “ take sides ” with 
 one of the parties. Those who possess such a dis- 
 position are among the most miserable of their race. 
 
 An old writer says that ‘ Every one should mind 
 Jiis ^wn business ; for he who is perpetually con- 
 cerning himself about the good or ill fortune of 
 others, will never be at rest.’ And he says tndy. 
 
 It is not denied that some men are profession 
 ally bound to attend to the concerns of others. 
 But this is not the case supposed. The bulk of 
 mankind will be happier, and do more for others, 
 by letting them alone ; at least by avoiding any of 
 that sort of meddling which may be construed into 
 ofhciousness. 
 
 Some of the worst meddlers in human society 
 are those who have been denominated maich-mak" 
 ers. A better name for them, however, would be 
 nmtch-h'eakei's, for if they do not actually break 
 more matches than they make, they usually cause 
 
ON KEEPING SECRETS. V- 143 
 
 ^ >j, ■. 
 
 Taking sides on all occasions. Its evils. Of secrets. 
 
 a great deal of misery to those whom tliey are in- 
 strumental in bringing prematurely together. 
 
 Many people who, in other respects, pass for ex- 
 cellent, do not hesitate to take sides on almost all 
 occasions, whether they know much about the real 
 merits of the case or not. Others judge, at once, 
 of every one of whom they hear any thing evil , 
 and in the same premature manner. 
 
 All these and a thousand other kinds of ‘med- 
 dling’ do much evil. The tendency is to keep 
 men like Ishmael, with their hands against every 
 man, and every man’s hands against theirs. 
 
 Section XIV. On Keeping Secrets, 
 
 It is sometimes said that in a good state of so- 
 ciety there would be no necessity of keeping secrets, 
 for no individual would have any thing to conceal. 
 This may he true; but if so, society is far — very 
 far — from being as perfect as it ought to be. At 
 present we shall find no intelligent circle, except 
 it were the society of the glorified above, which 
 does not require occasional secrecy. But if there 
 are secrets to be kept, somebody must keep them. 
 
 Some persons can hardly conceal a secret, if 
 they would. They will promise readily enough; 
 but the moment they gain possession of the fact, its 
 importance rises in their estimation, till it occupies 
 so much of their waking thoughts, that it will be 
 almost certain, in some form or other, to escape 
 them. ^ 
 
144 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Promise breakers. A few persons may be trusted. Reserve. 
 
 Others are not very anxious to conceal things 
 which are entrusted to them. They may not wish 
 to make mischief, exactly; but there is a sort of 
 recklessness about them, that renders them very 
 unsafe confidants. 
 
 Others again, when they promise, mean to per- 
 form. But no sooner do they possess the treasure 
 committed to their charge, than they begin to grow 
 forgetful of the manner of coming by it. And be- 
 fore they are aware, they reveal it. 
 
 There are not many then, whom it is safe to 
 trust. These you will value as they do diamonds, 
 in proportion to their scarcity. 
 
 But there are individuals who merit your high- 
 est confidence, if you can but find them. Hus- 
 bands, where a union is founded as it ought to be, 
 can usually trust their wives. This is one of the 
 prominent advantages of matrimony. It gives us an 
 opportunity of unbosoming our feelings and views 
 and wishes not only with safety, but often with 
 sympathy. 
 
 But confidence may sometimes be reposed, in 
 other circumstances. Too much reserve makes us 
 miserable. Perhaps it were better that we should 
 suffer a little, now and then, than that we should 
 never trust. 
 
 As an instance of the extent to which mankind 
 can sometimes be confided in, and to show that 
 celibacy, too, is not without tliis virtue, you will 
 allow me to relate, briefly, an anecdote. 
 
FEAR OF POVERTY. 
 
 145 
 
 A singular disease. Poverty m this country, often imaginary. 
 
 A certain husband and wife had difficulties* 
 They both sought advice of a single gentleman, 
 their family physician. For some time there was 
 hope of an amicable adjustment of all grievances 5 
 but at length every effort proved vain, and an open 
 quarrel ensued. But what Vv^as the surprise of each 
 party to learn by accident, some time afterward, 
 that both of them had sought counsel of the same 
 individual, and yet he had not betrayed the trust. 
 
 In a few instances, too, secrets have been con* 
 fided to husbands, without their communicating 
 them to their wives ; and the contrary. This was 
 done, however, by paiticular request. It is a re* 
 quisition which, for my own part, I should be very 
 unwilling to make* 
 
 Section XV. Fear of Poverty. 
 
 The ingenious but sometimes fanciful Dr. DaP* 
 Win, reckons the fear of poverty as a disease, and 
 goes on to prescribe for it. 
 
 The truth is, there is not much real poverty in 
 this country* Our very paupers are rich, for they 
 usually have plenty of wffioiesome food, and com* 
 fortable clothing, and what could a Croesus, with 
 all his riches, have more.^ Poverty exists much 
 more in imagination than in reality. The shame of 
 being thought poor, is a great and fatal weakness^ 
 to say the least* It depends, it is true, much upoil 
 tlie fashion. 
 
 13 
 
146 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Danger of the young. Republican society. Disguising our poverty. 
 
 So long as the phrase ‘ he is a good nran,’ means 
 that the person spoken of is rich, we need not 
 wonder that every one wishes to be thought richer 
 than he is. When adulation is sure to follow 
 wealth, and when Contempt would be sure to fol- 
 low many if they were not wealthy ; when people 
 are spoken of with deference, and even lauded to 
 the skies because their riches are very great ; when 
 this is the case, I say, we need not wonder if men 
 are ashamed to be thought poor. But this is one 
 of the greatest dangers which young people have 
 to encounter in setting out in life. It has brought 
 thousands and hundreds of thousands to pecuniary 
 ruin. 
 
 One of , the most amiable features of good repub- 
 lican society is this ; that men seldom boast of their 
 riches, or disguise their poverty, but speak of both, 
 as of any other matters that are proper for conver- 
 sation. No man shuns another because he is poor; 
 no man is preferred to another because he is rich. 
 In hundreds and hundreds of instances have men 
 in this country, not worth a shilling, been chosen 
 by the people to take care of their rights and inter- 
 ests, in preference to men who ride in their car- 
 riages. 
 
 The shame of being thought poor leads to ever- 
 lasting efforts to disguise one’s poverty. The car- 
 riage — the domestics — the wine — the spirits — 
 the decanters — the glass; — all the table apparatus, 
 the horses, the dresses, the dimiers, and the parties, 
 
FEAR OF POVERTY. 147 
 
 Fear of poverty produces it. Keeping up appearances. 
 
 imist be kept up ; not so much because he or she 
 who keeps or gives them has any pleasure arising 
 therefrom, as because not to keep and give them, 
 would give rise to a suspicion of a want of means. 
 And thus thousands upon thousands are yearly 
 brought into a state of real poverty, merely by their 
 great anxiety not to be thought poor. Look around 
 you carefully, and see if this is not so. 
 
 In how many instances have you seen amiable 
 and industrious families brought to ruin by nothing 
 else but the fear they should be.^ Resolve, then, 
 from the fii*st, to set this false shame at defiance. 
 When you have done that, effectually, you have 
 laid the corner-stone of mental tranquillity. 
 
 There are thousands of families at this very mo- 
 ment, struggling to keep up appearances. They 
 feel that it makes them miserable ; but you can no 
 more induce them to change their course, than you 
 can put a stop to the miser’s laying up gold. 
 
 Farmers accommodate themselves to their con- 
 dition more easily than merchants, mechanics, and 
 professional men. They live at a greater distance 
 from their neighbors ; they can change their style 
 of living without being perceived; they can pul 
 away the decanter, change the china for something 
 plain, and the world is none the wiser for it. But 
 the mechanic, the doctor, the attorney, and the tra- 
 der cannot make the change so quietly and unseen. 
 
 Stimulating drink, which is a sort of criterion of 
 the scale of living, — (or scale to the plan,) — a 
 
148 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Drinking water not genteel. Fear of being thought stingy. 
 
 sort of key to the time ; — this is the thing to banish 
 first of all, because all the rest follow; and in a 
 shoit time, come down to their proper level. 
 
 Am 1 asked, what is a glass of wine ? 1 answer, 
 it is every thing. It creates a demand for all the 
 other unnecessary expenses ; it is injurious to health, 
 and must be so. Every bottle of wine that is drank 
 contains a portion of spirit^ to say nothing of other 
 drugs still more poisonous ; and of all friends to the 
 doctors, alcoholic drinks are the greatest. It is 
 nearly the same, however, with strong tea and 
 coffee. But what adds to the folly and wickedness 
 of using these drinks, the parties themselves do not 
 always drink them by choice ; and hardly ever be- 
 cause they believe they are useful ; — but from 
 mere ostentation, ot the fear of being thought either 
 rigid or stingy. At this very moment, thousands 
 of families daily use some half a dozen drinks, be- 
 sides the best, because if they drank water only, 
 they might not be regarded as genteel ; or might be 
 suspected of poverty. And thus they waste their 
 property and their health. 
 
 Poverty frequently arises from the veiy virtues 
 of the impoverished parties. Not so frequently, I 
 admit, as from vice, folly, and indiscretion ; but 
 still very frequently. And as it is according to 
 scripture not to ‘despise the poor, because he is 
 poor,’ so we ought not to honor the rich merely 
 because he is rich. The true way is to take a fair 
 iVirvey of the character of a man as exhibited in 
 
FEAR OP POVERTY. 149 
 
 Causes of suicide. These are various. Folly of this crime. 
 
 his conduct; and to respect him, or otherwise, 
 according to a due estimate of that character. 
 
 Few countries exhibit more of those fatal termi- 
 nations of life, called suicides, than this* Many of 
 these unnatural crimes arise from an unreasonable 
 estimate of the evils of poverty. Their victims, it 
 is true, may be called insane ; but their insanity 
 almost always arises from the dread of poverty. 
 Not, indeed, from the dread of the want of means 
 for sustaining life, or even decent living ; but from 
 the dread of being thought or known to be poor ; — 
 from the dread of what is called falling in the scale 
 of society.* 
 
 Viewed in its true light, what is there in poverty 
 that can tempt a man to take away his own life ? 
 He is the same man that he was before ; he has the 
 same body and the same mind. Suppose he can 
 foresee an alteration in his dress or his diet, should 
 he kill himself on that account? Are these all the 
 things that a man wishes to live fbr ? 
 
 * I should be sorry to be understood as affirming that a 
 majority of suicidal acts are the result of intemperance ; — 
 hy no means. My own opinion is, that if there be a single 
 vice more fruitful of this horrid crime than any other, it is 
 »ross sensuality. The records of insane hospitals, even in 
 ahis country will show, that this is not mere conjecture. Ai^ 
 it happens, however, that the latter vice is usually accompa- 
 nied by intemperance in eating and drinking, by gambling, 
 &c., the blame is commonly thrown, not on the principal 
 agent concerned in ilie crime, but on the accomplicea« 
 
 13 * 
 
150 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 
 
 St. Paul’s advice. Early fondness for speculation. 
 
 I do not deny that we ought to take care of our 
 rneans, use tliem prudently and sparingly, and keep 
 our expenses always within the limits of our in- 
 come, be that what it may. One of the effectual 
 means of doing this, is to purchase with ready 
 money. On this point, I have already remarked 
 at length, and will only repeat here the injunction 
 of St. Paul ; ‘ Owe no man any thing ; ’ although 
 the fashion of the whole world should be against 
 you. 
 
 Should you regard the advice of this section, the 
 counsels of the next will be of less consequence ; 
 for you will have removed one of the strongest 
 inducements to speculation, as well as to overtrad- 
 ing 
 
 Section XVI. On Speculation, 
 
 Young men are apt to be fond of speculation. 
 This propensity is very early developed — first in 
 the family — and afterwards at the school. By 
 speculation^ I mean the purchasing of something 
 which you do not want for use, solely with a view 
 to sell it again at a large profit ; but on the sale of 
 which there is a hazaixl. 
 
 When purchases of this sort are made with the 
 person’s own cash, they are not so unreasonable, 
 but when they are made by one who is deeply in- 
 debted to his fellow beings, or with money bor- 
 rowed for the puipose, it is not a whit better than 
 
ON SPECULATION. 151 
 
 Speculation a sort of gambling. Its evils. A ccmmon mistake. 
 
 gambling, let the practice be defended by whom it 
 may : and has been in every country, especially in 
 this, a fruitful source of poverty, misery, and sui- 
 cide. Grant that this species of gambling has 
 arisen from the facility of obtaining the fictitious 
 means of making the purchase, still it is not the 
 less necessary that I beseech you not to practise it, 
 and if engaged in it already, to disentangle yourself 
 as soon as you can. Your life, while thus ^n^aged, 
 is that of a gamester — call it by what ?!noother 
 name you may. It is a life of constant anxiety, 
 desire to overreach, and general gloom ; enlivened 
 now and then, by a gleam of hope or of success. 
 Even that success is sure to lead to farther adven- 
 tures ; till at last, a thousand to one, that your fate 
 is that of ‘ the pitcher to the well.’ 
 
 The great temptation to this, as well as to every 
 other species of gambling, is, the success of the few. 
 As young men, who crowd to the army in search 
 of rank and renown, never look into the ditch that 
 holds their slaughtered companions, but have their 
 eye constantly fixed on the commander-in-chief; 
 and as each of them belongs to the same profession^ 
 and is sure to be conscious that he has equal merit, 
 every one dreams himself the suitable successor of 
 him ^vho is surrounded with aides-de-camp, and 
 who moves battalions and columns by his nod ; — ■ 
 so with the rising generation of ‘ speculators.’ They 
 see those v*^hom they suppose nature and good laws 
 made to black shoes, or sweep chimneys or streets. 
 
152 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Avoid the law. Litigiousness a contagious disease. 
 
 rolling ill carriages, or sitting in palaces, surround- 
 ed by servants or slaves ; and they can see no earthly 
 reason ivhy they should not all do the same. They 
 forget the thousands, and tens of thousands, who in 
 making the attempt, have reduced themselves to 
 beggary. 
 
 Section XVII. On Lawsuits, 
 
 In every situation in life, avoid the law. Man’s 
 nature must be changed, perhaps, before lawsuits 
 will entirely cease ; and yet it is in the power of 
 most men to avoid them, in a considerable degree. 
 
 One excellent rule is, to have as little as possible 
 to do with those w^ho are fond of litigation; and 
 who, upon every slight occasion, talk of an appeal to 
 the law. This may be called a disease ; and, like 
 many other diseases, it is contagious. Besides, these 
 persons, from their frequent litigations, contract a 
 habit of using the technical terms of the courts, in 
 which they take a pride, and are therefore, as com- 
 panions, peculiarly disgusting to men of sense. 
 To such beings a lawsuit is a luxury, instead of 
 being regarded as a source of anxiety, and a real 
 scourge. Such men are always of a quarrelsome 
 disposition, and avail themselves of every opportu- 
 nity to indulge in that which is mischievous to their 
 neighbors. 
 
 In thousands of instances, men go to law for the 
 indulgence of mere anger. The Germans are s<tid 
 
ON LAWSUITS. 
 
 153 
 
 Anecdotes. 
 
 Spite-actions. Notliing gained by lawsiits. 
 
 to bring spite-actions against one another, and to 
 harass then* poorer neighbors from motives of pure 
 revenge. But I hope this is a mistake ; for I am 
 unwilling to think so ill of that intelligent nation. 
 
 Before you decide to go td 1^, consider well 
 the cost, for if you win your suit and are poorer 
 than you were before, what do you gain by it ? You 
 only imbibe a little additional anger against your 
 opponent; you injure him, but at the same time, in- 
 jure yourself more. Better to put up with the loss 
 of one dollar than of two ; to which is to be added, 
 all the loss of time, all the trouble, and all the mor- 
 tification and anxiety attending a lawsuit. To set 
 an attorney at work to worry and torment another 
 man, and alarm his family as well as himself, while 
 you are sitting quietly at home, is baseness. If a 
 man owe you money which he cannot pay, why 
 add to his distress, without even the chance of be- 
 nefiting yourself.^ Thousands have injured them- 
 selves by resorting to the law, while very few, in- 
 deed, ever bettered their condition by it. 
 
 Nearly a million of dollars was once expended 
 in England, during the progress of a single lawsuit 
 Those who brought the suit expended $ 444,000 to 
 carry it through ; and the opposite party was ac- 
 quitted, and only sentenced to pay the cost of pros- 
 ecution, amounting to $318,754. Another was 
 sustained in court fifty years, at an enormous ex- 
 pense. In Meadville, in Pennsylvania, a petty law 
 case occurred in which the damages recoverec] 
 
154 THE T0HN6 MAn’§ GUIDE. 
 
 More anecdotes on the same subject. Litigiousness hereditary. 
 
 were only ten dollars, while the costs of court were 
 one hundred. In one of the New England States, 
 a lawsuit occurred, which could not have cost the 
 parties less than $1000 each ; and yet after all this 
 expense, they mutually agreed to take the matter 
 out of court, and suffer it to end where it was. 
 Probably it was the wisest course they could possi- 
 bly have taken. It is also stated that a quarrel 
 occurred between two persons in Middlebury, Ver- 
 mont, a few years since, about six eggs, which was 
 carried from one court to another, till it cost the 
 parties $ 4,000. 
 
 I am well acquainted with a gentleman wno was 
 once engaged in a lawsuit, (than which none per- 
 haps, was ever more just) where his claim was one 
 to two thousand dollars; but it fell into such a 
 train that a final decision could not have been ex- 
 pected in many months ; — perhaps not in years. 
 The gentleman was unwilling to be detained and 
 pei*plexed with waiting for a trial, and he accord- 
 ingly paid the whole amount of costs to that time, 
 amounting to $ 150, went about his business, and 
 believes, to this hour, that it was the wisest course 
 he could have pursued. 
 
 A spirit of litigation often disturbs the peace of 
 a whole neighborhood, perpetually, for several gen- 
 erations; and the hostile feeling thus engendered 
 seems to be transmitted, like the color of the eyes 
 or the hair, from father to son. Indeed it not un- 
 frequently happens, that a lawsuit in a neighbor- 
 
ON LAWSUITS. 155 
 
 Arbitration. First steps to the law. Tarring and feathering!. 
 
 hood, a society, or even a church, awakens feelings 
 of discord, which never tenninate, but at the death 
 of the parties concerned. 
 
 How ought young men, then, to avoid, as they 
 would a pestilence, this fiend-like spirit! How 
 ought they to labor to settle all disputes — should 
 disputes unfortunately arise, — without this tremen- 
 dous resort I On the strength of much observation, 
 — not experience, for I have been saved the pain 
 of learning in that painful school, on this subject, — I 
 do not hesitate to recommend the settlement of such 
 difficulties by arbitration. 
 
 One thing however should be remembered. 
 Would you dry up the river of discord, you must 
 first exhaust the fountains and rills which form it. 
 The moment you indulge one impassioned or an- 
 gry feeling against your fellow being, you have 
 taken a step in the high road which leads to liti- 
 gation, war and murder. Thus it is, as I have 
 already told you, that ‘He that hateth his brother 
 is a murderer.’ 
 
 1 have heard a father — for he hath the name of 
 parent, though he little deserved it — gravely con- 
 tend that there was no such thing as avoiding 
 quarrels and law^suits. He thought there was one 
 thing, however, which might prevent them, which 
 was to take the litigious individual and ‘tar and 
 feather’ him without ceremony. How often is it 
 true that mankind little know ‘what manner of 
 spirit they are of;’ and to how many of us will 
 this striking reproof of the Saviour apply ! 
 
156 tHE YOTJNG man’s GUIDE. 
 
 Getting a ‘ good bargain.’ The Mohammedans. Lesson from them. 
 
 Multitudes of men have been in active business 
 during a long life, and yet avoided every thing in 
 the shape of a lawsuit. ‘ What man has done, man 
 may do ; ’ in this respect, at the least. 
 
 Section XVIIL On Hard Dealing* 
 
 Few things are more common among business- 
 doing men, than hard dealing; yet few things re- 
 flect more dishonor on a Christian community. It 
 seems, in general, to be regarded as morally right, 
 in defiance of all rules, whether golden or not, — 
 to get as ‘ good a bargain ’ in trade, as possible ; 
 and this is defended as unavoidable, on account of 
 the state of society ! But what produced this state of 
 society ? Was it not the spirit of avarice ? What 
 will change it for the better? Nothing but the re- 
 nunciation of this spirit, and a willingness to sacri- 
 fice, in this respect, for the public welfare. 
 
 We are pagans in this matter, in spite of our pro- 
 fessions. It would be profitable for us to take les- 
 sons on this subject from the Mohammedans. They 
 never have, it is said, but one price for an article ; 
 and to ask the meanest shopkeeper to lower his 
 price, is to insult him. Would this were the only 
 point, in which the Christian community are des- 
 tined yet to learn even from Mohammedans. 
 
 To ask one price and take another, or to offer 
 one price and give another, besides being a loss of 
 time, is highly dishonorable to the parties. It is, 
 
ON HARD DEALING. 157 
 
 One species of lying. On evils correcting themselves. 
 
 in fact, a species of lying ; and it answers no one 
 advantageous purpose, either to the buyer or seller. 
 I hope that every young man will start in life with 
 a resolution never to be hard in his dealings, 
 
 ‘It is an evil which will correct itself;’ say 
 those who wish to avail themselves of its present 
 advantages a little longer. But when and where 
 did a general evil correct itself? When or where 
 was an erroneous practice permanently removed, 
 except by a change of public sentiment? And 
 what has ever produced a change in the public sen- 
 timent but the determination of individuals, or their 
 combined action ? 
 
 While on this topic, I will hazard the assertion— 
 even at the risk of its being thought misplaced— 
 that great effects are yet to be produced on public 
 opinion, in this country, by associations of spirited 
 and intelligent young men. I am not now speaking 
 of associations for political purposes, though I am 
 not sure that even these might not be usefully con- 
 ducted ; but of associations for mutual improvement, 
 and for the correction and elevation of the public 
 morals. The “Boston Young Men’s Society,” 
 afford a specimen of what maybe done in this way; 
 and numerous associations of the kind have sprung 
 up and are springing up in various parts of the 
 country. Judiciously managed, they must inevit- 
 ably do great good ; — though it should not be for- 
 gotten that they ma?/ also be productive of immense 
 evil. 
 
 14 
 
CHAPTER HI. 
 
 ©n Amusements anu Kntiulaences* 
 
 Section I. On Gaming, 
 
 . Even Voltaire asserts that ‘every gambler 
 has been, or will be a robber.’ Few practices are 
 more ancient, few more general, and few, if any, 
 more pernicious than gaming. An English writer 
 has ingeniously suggested that the Devil himself 
 might have been the first player, and that he con- 
 trived the plan of introducing games among men, 
 to afford them temporary amusement, and divert 
 their attention from themselves. ‘What number- 
 less disciples,’ he adds, ‘ of his sable majesty, might 
 we not count in our own metropolis ! ’ 
 
 Whether his satanic majesty has any very direct 
 agency in this matter or not, one thing is certain ; — 
 gaming is opposed to the happiness of mankind, 
 and ought, in every civilized country, to be sup- 
 pressed by public opinion. By gaming, however, I 
 here refer to those cases only in which property is 
 at stake, to be won or lost. The subject of diver- 
 sions will be considered in another place. 
 
 Gaining is an evil, because, in the first place, it is 
 
ON GAMING. 
 
 159 
 
 Evils of gaming. 
 
 Gameste rs are not producers. 
 
 a practice which produces nothing. He who makes 
 two blades of grass grow where but one grew be- 
 fore, has usually been admitted to be a public 
 benefactor; for he is a producer. So is he who 
 combines or arranges these productions in a useful 
 manner, — I mean the mechanic, manufacturer, &c. 
 He is equally a public benefactor, too, who pro- 
 duces mental or moral wealth, as well as physical. 
 In gaming, it is true, property is shifted from one 
 individual to another, and here and there one 
 probably gains more than he loses ; but nothing is 
 actually made, or produced. If the whole human 
 family were all skilful gamesters, and should play 
 constantly for a year, there would not be a dollar 
 more in the world at the end of the year, than 
 there was at its commencement. On the contrary, is 
 it not obvious that there would be much less, besides 
 even an immense loss of time ? * 
 
 But, secondly, gaming favoi-s corruption of man- 
 ners. It is difficult to trace the progress of the 
 gamester’s mind, from the time he commences his 
 downw’ard course, but we know too well the goal 
 at which he is destined to arrive. There may be 
 exceptions, but not many ; generally speaking, 
 
 * Every man who enjoys the privileges of civilized 
 society, owes it to that society to earn as much as he can; 
 or, in other words, improve every minute of his time. He 
 who loses an hour, or a minute, is the price of that hour 
 debtor to the community. Moreover, it is a debt which he 
 can never repay. 
 
160 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Gaming opposed to industry. The philosophers, Locke’s opinion. 
 
 every gamester, sooner or later travels the road to 
 perdition, and often adds to his ovyn wo, by drag- 
 ging others along with him. 
 
 Thirdly, it discourages industry. He who is ac- 
 customed to receive large sums at once, which bear 
 no sort of proportion to the labor by which they are 
 obtained, will gradually come to regard the moderate 
 but constant and certain rewards of industrious 
 exertion as insipid. He is also in danger of falling 
 into the habit of paying an undue regard to hazard 
 or chance, and of becoming devoted to the doctrine 
 of fatality. 
 
 As to the few who are skilful enough to gain 
 more, on the whole, than they lose, scarcely one 
 of them paj^s any regard to prudence or economy 
 in his expenditures. What is thus lightly acquired, 
 is lightly disposed of. Or if, in one instance in a 
 thousand, it happens otherwise, the result is still 
 unfavorable. It is but to make the miser still more 
 a miser, and the covetous only the more so. Man is 
 so constituted as to be unable to bear, with safety, a 
 rapid accumulation of property. To the truth of 
 this, all history attests, whether ancient or modern, 
 sacred or profane. 
 
 The famous philosopher Locke, in his ‘Thoughts 
 on Education,’ thus observes : ‘ It is certain, gam- 
 ing leaves no satisfaction behind it to those who 
 reflect when it is over ; and it no way profits either 
 body or mind. As to their estates, if it strike so 
 deep as to concern them, it is a trade then, and not 
 
ON GAMrNG. 161 
 
 ci^iminality of gaming. A voice of experience. The army. 
 
 a recreation, wherein few thrive ; and at best a 
 thriving gamester has but a poor trade of it, who 
 fills his pockets at the price of his reputation.’ 
 
 In regard to the criminality of the practice, a 
 late writer has the following striking remarks. 
 
 ‘As to gaming, it is always criminal, either in 
 itself or in its tendency. The basis of it is covet- 
 ousness; a desire to take from others something 
 for which you have neither given, nor intend to 
 give an equivalent. No gambler was ever yet a 
 happy man, and few gamblers have escaped being 
 positively miserable. Remember, too, that to game 
 for nothing is still gaming ; and naturally leads to 
 gaming for something. It is sacrificing time, and 
 that, too, for the worst of purposes. 
 
 ‘I have kept house for nearly forty years; I 
 have reared a family ; I have entertained as many 
 friends as most people; and I never had cards, 
 dice, a chess board, nor any implement of gaming 
 under my roof. The hours that young men spend 
 in this way, are hours murdered; precious hours 
 that ought to be spent either in reading or in writ- 
 ing; or in rest; preparatory to the duties of the 
 dawn. 
 
 ‘Though I do not agree with those base flat- 
 terers who declare the army to be the best school 
 for statesmen, it is certainly a school hi which we 
 learn, experimentally, many useful lessons ; and in 
 this school I learned that men fond of gaming, are 
 rarely, if ever, trust-worthy. I have known many 
 14 * 
 
162 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Mistake of professing Christians. Evil tendency of this viceT 
 
 a decent man rejected in the way of promotion, 
 only because he was addicted to gaming. Men, in 
 that state of life, cannot ruin themselves by gam- 
 ing, for they possess no fortune, nor money; but 
 the taste for gaming is always regarded as an in- 
 dication of a radicall}'- bad disposition ; and I can 
 truly say that I never in my whole life — and it 
 has been a long and eventful one — knew a man 
 fond of gaming, who was not, in some way or other, 
 unworthy of confidence. This vice creeps on by 
 very slow degrees, till, at last, it becomes an un- 
 governable passion, swallowing up every good and 
 kind feeling of the heart.’ 
 
 For my own part I know not the names of cards ; 
 and could never take interest enough in card-play- 
 ing to remember them. I have always wondered 
 how sober and intelligent people, who have con- 
 sciences, and believe the doctrine of accountability 
 to God — how professing Christians even, as is the 
 case in some parts of this country, can sit whole 
 evenings at cards. Why, what notions have they 
 of the” value of time ? Can they conceive of Him, 
 whose example we are bound to follow, as engaged 
 in this way ? The thought should shock us ! What 
 a Herculean task Christianity has yet to accom- 
 plish ! 
 
 The excess of this vice has caused even the 
 overthrow of empires. It leads to conspiracies, 
 and creates conspirators. Men overwhelmed with 
 debt, are always ready to obey the orders of any 
 
ON GAMING. 
 
 163 
 
 Examples from history. Rome. France. England. 
 
 bold chieftain who may attempt a decisive stroke, 
 even against government itself. Catiline had very 
 soon under his command an army of scoundrels. 
 < Every man,’ says Sallust, ‘who by his follies or 
 losses at the gaming table had consumed the in- 
 heritance of his fathers, and all who were suffer- 
 ers by such misery, were the friends of this per- 
 verse man.’ 
 
 Perhaps this vice has nowhere been carried to 
 greater excess than in France. There it has its 
 administration, its chief, its stockholders, its offi- 
 cers, and its priests. It has its domestics, its 
 pimps, its spies, its informers, its assassins, its bul- 
 lies, its aiders, its abettors, — in fact, its scoundrels 
 of every description ; particularly its hireling swind- 
 lers, who are paid for decoying the unwary into 
 this ‘ hell upon earth,’ so odious to morality, and so 
 destructive to virtue and Christianity. 
 
 In England, this vice has at all times been look- 
 ed upon as one of pernicious consequence to the 
 commonwealth, and has, therefore, long been pro- 
 hibited. The money lost in this way, is even re- 
 coverable again by law. Some of the laws on this 
 subject were enacted as early as the time of Queen 
 Anne, and not a few of the penalties are very 
 severe. Every species of gambling is strictly for- 
 bidden in the British army, and occasionally pun- 
 ished with great severity, by order of the comman- 
 der in chief. These facts show the state of public 
 
164 THE YOUNG MAN’S GUIDE. 
 
 Alarming facts. The alms-house and prison. Anecdote. 
 
 opinion in that country, in regard to the evil ten- 
 dency of this practice. 
 
 Men of immense wealth have, in some instances, 
 entered gambling houses, and in the short space of 
 an hour have found themselves reduced to abso- 
 lute beggary. ‘Such men often lose not only what 
 their purses or their bankers can supply, but 
 houses, lands, equipage, jewels; in fine, every 
 thing of which they call themselves masters, even 
 to their very clothes ; then perhaps a pistol termi- 
 nates their mortal career.’ 
 
 Fifteen hours a day are devoted by many infat- 
 uated persons in some countries to this unhappy 
 practice. In the middle of the day, while the wife 
 directs with prudence and economy tlie adminis- 
 tration of her husband’s house, he abandons him- 
 self to become the prey of rapacious midnight and 
 mid-day robbers. The result is, that he contracts 
 debts, is stripped of his property, and his wife and 
 children are sent to the alms-house, whilst he, per- 
 haps, perishes in a prison. 
 
 My life has been chiefly spent in a situation 
 where comparatively little of this vice prevails. 
 Yet, I have known one individual who divided his 
 time between hunting and gaming. About four 
 days in the week were regularly devoted to the 
 latter practice. From breakfast to dinner, from 
 dinner to tea, from tea to nine o’clock, this was 
 his regular employment, and was pursued inces- 
 
ON GAMING. 
 
 165 
 
 A horrible alliance* 
 
 Ni ght usually devoted to gaming. 
 
 sandy. The man was about seventy years of age. 
 He did not play for very large sums, it is true; 
 seldom more than five to twenty dollars; and it 
 was his uniform practice to retire precisely at nine 
 o’clock, and without supper. 
 
 Generally, however, the night is more especially 
 devoted to this employment. I have occasionally 
 been at public houses, or on board vessels where 
 a company was playing, and have known many 
 hundreds of dollars lost in a single night. In one 
 instance, the most horrid midnight oaths and blas- 
 phemy were indulged. Besides, there is an almost 
 du'ect connection between the gambling table and 
 brothel ; and the one is seldom long unaccompa- 
 nied by the other. 
 
 Scarcely less obvious and direct is the connec- 
 tion between this vice and intemperance. If the 
 drunkard is not always a gamester, the gamester is 
 almost without exception intemperate. There is 
 for the most part a union of the three — horrible as 
 the alliance may be — I mean gambling, intemper- 
 ance, and debauchery. 
 
 There is even a species of intoxication attendant 
 on gambling. Rede, in speaking of one form of 
 this vice which prevails in Europe, says; ‘ It is, in 
 fact, a PROMPT murderer; irregular as all other 
 games of hazard — rapid as lightning in its move- 
 ments — its strokes succeed each other with an 
 activity that redoubles the ardor of the player’s 
 Wood, and often deprives him of the advantage of 
 
166 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 
 
 One form of slavery. Burgh’s opinion. Avoid the first steps. 
 
 reflection. In fact, a man after half an hour’s 
 play, who for the whole night may not have taken 
 any thing stronger than water, has all the appear- 
 ance of drunkenness.’ And who has not seen the 
 flushed cheek and the red eye, produced simply by 
 the excitement of an ordinary gaming table ? 
 
 It is an additional proof of the evil of gaming 
 that every person devoted to it, feels it to be an evil. 
 Why then does he not refrain ? Because he has 
 sold himself a slave to the deadly habit, as effectu- 
 ally as the drunkard to his cups. 
 
 Burgh, in his Dignity of Human Nature, sums 
 up the evils of this practice in a single paragraph : 
 
 ‘ Gaming is an amusement wholly unworthy of 
 rational beings, having neither the pretence of ex- 
 ercising the body, of exerting ingenuity, or of 
 giving any natural pleasure, and owing its enter- 
 tainment wholly to an unnatural and vitiated taste ; 
 — the cause of infinite loss of time, of enormous 
 destruction of money, of irritating the passions, of 
 stirring up avarice, of innumerable sneaking tricks 
 and frauds, of encouraging idleness, of disgusting 
 people against their proper employments, and of 
 sinking and debasing all that is truly great and 
 valuable in the mind.’ 
 
 Let me warn you, then, my young readers, — 
 nay, more, let me urge you never to enter this 
 dreadful road. Shun it as you would the road to 
 destruction. Take not the first step, — the moment 
 you do, all may be lost. Say not that you can 
 
ON OAMING. 167 
 
 Dr Dwight’s remarks. Header urged to reflect. Montesquieu. 
 
 command yourselves, and can stop when you ap- 
 proach the confines of danger. So thousands have 
 thought as sincerely as yourselves — and yet they 
 fell. ‘The probabilities that we shall fall where so 
 many have fallen,’ says Dr. Dwight, ‘ are millions 
 to one ; and the contrary opinion is only the dream 
 of lunacy.’ 
 
 When you are inclined to think yourselves safe, 
 consider the multitudes who once felt themselves 
 equally so, have been corrupted, distressed, and 
 ruined by gaming, both for this world, and that 
 which is to come. Think how many families have 
 been plunged by it in beggaiy, and overwhelmed 
 by it in vice. Think how many persons have be- 
 come liars at the gaming table; how many per- 
 jured ; how many drunkards ; how many blasphe- 
 mers ; how many suicides. ‘ If Europe,’ said Mon- 
 tesquieu, ‘is to be ruined, it will be ruined by 
 gaming.’ If the United States are to be ruined, 
 gaming in some of its forms will be a very efficient 
 agent in accomplishing the work. 
 
 Some of the most common games practised in 
 this country, are cards, dice, billiards, shooting 
 matches, and last, though not leasts lotteries. Horse- 
 racing and cockfighting are still in use in some 
 parts of the United States, though less so than for- 
 merly. In addition to the general remarks already 
 made, I now proceed to notice a few of the par- 
 ticular forms of this vice. 
 
168 THE YOUNG man’s GUIDE, 
 
 Card playing. Its enticing nature. Disgraceful practice. 
 
 1 . CARDS, DICE, AND BILLIARDS. 
 
 The foregoing remarks will be applicable to each 
 of these three modes of gambling. But in regard 
 to cards, there seems to be something peculiarly 
 enticing. It is on this account that youth are re- 
 quired to be doubly cautious on this point. So be- 
 witching were cards and dice regarded in England^ 
 that penalties were laid on those who should be 
 found playing with them, as early as the reign of 
 George II. Card playing, however, still prevails 
 in Europe, and to a considerable extent in the 
 United States. There is a very common impres- 
 sion abroad, that the mere playing at cards is in 
 itself innocent : that the danger consists in the ten- 
 dency to excess; and against excess most people 
 imagine themselves sufficiently secure. But as ‘ the 
 best throw at dice, is to throw them away,’ so the 
 best move with cards would be, to commit them to 
 the flames. 
 
 2 . SHOOTING MATCHES. 
 
 This is a disgraceful practice, which was former- 
 ly in extensive use in these States at particular 
 seasons, especially on the day preceding the annual 
 Thanksgiving. I am sorry to say, that there are 
 places where it prevails, even now. Numbers who 
 have nothing better to do, collect- together, near 
 some tavern or grog-shop, for the sole pui*pose of. 
 
SHOOTING MATCHES. 169 
 
 Cruelty of shooting matches. They lead to many other evils. 
 
 tiyilig theii* skill at shooting fowls. Tied to a 
 stake at a short distance, a poor innocent and help- 
 less fowl is set as a mark to furnish sport for idle 
 men and boys. 
 
 Could the creature be put out of its misery by 
 the first discharge of the musket, the evil would 
 not appear so great. But this is seldom the case. 
 Several discharges are usually made, and between 
 each, a running, shouting and jumping of the com- 
 pany takes place, not unfrequently mingled with 
 oaths and curses. 
 
 The object of this infeiTial torture being at length 
 despatched, and suspended on the muzzle of the 
 gun as a trophy of victory, a rush is made to the 
 bar or counter, and brandy and rum, accompanied 
 by lewd stories, and perhaps quarrelling and drunk- 
 enness, often close the scene. 
 
 It rarely fails that a number of children are as- 
 sembled^ on such occasions, who listen with high 
 glee to the conversation, whether in the field or at 
 the inn. If it be the grossest profaneness, or the 
 coarsest obscenity, they will sometimes pride them- 
 selves in imitating it, thinking it to be manly ; and in 
 a like spirit will partake of the glass, and thus com- 
 mence the drunkard’s career. — This practice is 
 conducted somewhat differently in different places, 
 but not essentially so. 
 
 It is much to the credit of the citizens of many 
 parts of New England that their good sense will 
 not, any longer, tolerate a practice so brutal, and 
 15 
 
170 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Substitute for the fowl. Racing and fighting. Montaigne. 
 
 scarcely exceeded in this respect by the cock- 
 fights in other parts of the country. As a substi- 
 tute for this practice a circle is drawn on a board 
 or post, of a certain size, and he who can hit with- 
 in the cii'cle, gains the fowl. This is still a species 
 of gaming, but is divested of much of the ferocity 
 and brutality of the former. 
 
 3 . HORSERACING AND COCKFIGHTING. 
 
 It is only in particular sections of the United 
 States that public opinion tolerates these practices 
 extensively. A horserace, in New England, is a 
 very rare occurrence. A cockfight, few among us 
 have ever witnessed. Wherever the cruel dispo- 
 sition to indulge in seeing animals fight together 
 is allowed, it is equally degrading to human na- 
 ture with that fondness which is manifested in 
 other countries for witnessing a bull fight. It is 
 indeed the same disposition, only existing in a 
 smaller degree in the former case than in the 
 latter. 
 
 Montaigne thinks it a reflection upon human 
 nature itself that few people take delight in seeing 
 beasts caress and play together, while almost every 
 one is pleased to see them lacerate and worry one 
 another. 
 
 Should your lot be cast m a region wdiere any 
 of these inhuman practices prevail, let it be your 
 constant and firm endeavor, not merely to keep 
 
ON LOTTERIES. 171 
 
 Disgraceful scene near Philadelphia. Another kind of gambling. 
 
 aloof from them yourselves, but to prevail on all 
 those over whom God may have given you influ- 
 ence, to avoid them likewise. To enable you to 
 face the public opinion when a point of importance 
 is at stake, it will be useful to consult carefully the 
 first chapter of this work. 
 
 I am sorry to have it in my power to state that in 
 the year 1833 there was a bull fight four miles 
 southward of Philadelphia. It was attended by 
 about 1500 persons ; mostly of the very lowest 
 classes from the city. It was marked by many of 
 the same evils which attend these cruel sports in 
 other countries, and by the same reckless disregard 
 of mercy towards the poor brutes who suflered in 
 the conflict. It is to be hoped, however, for the 
 honor of human nature, that the good sense of the 
 community will not permit this detestable custom 
 to prevail. 
 
 Section II. On Lotteries. 
 
 Lotteries are a species of gambling; differing 
 from other kinds only in being tolerated either by 
 the law of the land, or by that of public opinion. 
 The proofs of this assertion are innumerable. Not 
 only young men, but even married women have^ 
 in some instances, become so addicted to ticket 
 buying, as to ruin themselves and their families. 
 
 From the fact that efforts have lately been made 
 in several of the most influential States in the 
 
172 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 JjOttery system public gambling. Flimsy defence of it. 
 
 Union to suppress them, it might seem unnecessary, 
 at first view, to mention tliis subject. But although 
 the letter of the law may oppose them, there is a 
 portion of our citizens w^ho will continue to buy 
 tickets clandestinely: and consequently somebody 
 will continue to sell them in the same manner. 
 Penalties will not suppress them at once. It will 
 be many years before the evil can be wholly eradi- 
 cated. The flood does not cease at the moment 
 when the windows of heaven are closed, but con- 
 tinues, for some time, its ravages. It is necessary, 
 therefore, that the young should guard themselves 
 against the temptations which they hold out. 
 
 It may be said that important works, such as 
 monuments, and churches, have been completed by 
 means of lotteries. I know it is so. But the pro- 
 fits which arise from the sale of tickets are a tax 
 upon the community, and generally upon the poorer 
 classes : or rather they are a species of swindling. 
 That good is sometimes done with these ill-gotten 
 gains, is admitted ; but money procured in any 
 other unlawful, immoral, or criminal way, could 
 be applied to build bridges, roads, churches, &c. 
 Would the advantages thus secured, however, jus- 
 tify an unlawful means of securing them ? Does 
 the end sanctify the means ? 
 
 It is said, too, that individuals, as well as asso- 
 ciations, have been, in a few instances, greatly 
 aided by piaEes in lotteries. Some bankrupts have 
 paid their debts, like honest men, with them. This 
 
ON LOTTERIES. 
 
 173 
 
 Estimates, 
 
 Prizes do not benefit those who draw them. 
 
 they might do with stolen money. But cases of 
 even this kind, are rare. The far greater part of 
 the money drawn in the forih of prizes in lotteries^ 
 only makes its possessor more avaricious, covetous^ 
 or oppressive than before. Money obtained in this 
 manner commonly ruins mind, body, or estate; 
 sometimes all three. 
 
 Lottery schemes have been issued in the single 
 State of New York, in twelve years, to the amount 
 of $ 37,000,000. If other States have engaged in the 
 business, in the same proportion to their population, 
 the sum of all the schemes issued in the United 
 States within that time has been $ 240,000,000. A 
 sum sufficient to maintain in comfort, if not afflu- 
 ence, the entire population of some of the smaller 
 States for more than thirty years. 
 
 Now what has been gained by all this? It is 
 indeed true, that the discount on this sum, amount- 
 ing to $36,000,000, has been expended in paying 
 a set of men for one species of labor. If we sup- 
 pose their average salary to have been $ 500, no less 
 than 6,000 clerks, managers, &c., may have obtain- 
 ed by this means, a support during the last twelve 
 years. But what have the 6,000 men produced all 
 this while ? Has not their whole time been spent 
 in receiving small sums (from five to fifty dollars) 
 from individuals, putting them together, as it were, 
 in a heap, and afterwards distributing a part of it 
 in sums, with a few exceptions, equally small — 
 Have they added one dollar, or even one cent to the 
 15 *' 
 
174 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Effects on individuals. On the community. Their evil tendency. 
 
 ol'iginal stock I have already admitted, that he 
 who makes two blades of grass grow where only 
 one grew before, is a benefactor to his country; 
 but these men have not done so much as that. 
 
 A few draw prizes, it has been admitted. Some 
 of that few make a good use of them. But the 
 vast majority are injured. They either become 
 less active and industrious, or more parsimonious 
 and miserly; and not a few become prodigals or 
 bankrupts at once. In any of these events, they 
 are of course unfitted for the essential pui*poses of 
 human existence. It is nbt given to humanity to 
 hear a sudden acquisition of wealth. The best of 
 men are endangered by it. As in knowledge, so 
 in the present case, what is gained by hard dig- 
 ging is usually retained ; and what is gained easily 
 usually goes quickly. There is this difference, 
 however, that the moral character is usually lost 
 with the one, but not always with the other. 
 
 These are a part of the evils connected with lot- 
 teries. To compute their sum total would be im- 
 possible. The immense waste of money and time 
 (and time is money) by those persons who are in 
 the habit of buying tickets, to say nothing of the 
 cigars smoked, the spirits, wine, and ale drank, the 
 suppers eaten, and the money lost at cards, while 
 lounging about lottery offices, although even this 
 constitutes but a part of the waste, is absolutely in^ 
 calculable. The suffering of wives, and children, 
 and parents, and brothers, and sisters, together with 
 
ON LOTTERIES. 175 
 
 Appeal to the young. Influence which one person may haveu 
 
 that loss of health, and temper, and reputation, 
 which is either directly or indirectly connected, 
 would swell the sum to an amount sufficient to 
 alarm every one, who intends to be an honest, in- 
 dustrious, and respectable citizen. 
 
 It is yours, my young friends, to put a stop to 
 this tremendous evil. It is your duty, and it should 
 be your pleasure, to give that tone to the public sen- 
 timent, without which, in governments lilte this, 
 written laws are powerless. 
 
 Do not say that the influence of one person can- 
 not effect much. Remember that the power of 
 example is almost omnipotent. In debating whe- 
 ther you may not venture to buy one more ticket, 
 remember that if you do so, you adopt a course 
 which, if taken by every other individual in the 
 United States (and who out of thirteen millions has 
 not the same right as yourself?) would give abun- 
 dant support to the whole lottery system, with all its 
 horrors. And could you in that case remain guilt- 
 less? Can the fountains of such a sickly stream 
 be pure ? You would not surely condemn the 
 waters of a mighty river while you were one of a 
 company engaged in filling the springs and rills 
 that unite to form it. Remember that just in pro- 
 portion as you contribute, by your example, to dis- 
 courage this species of gambling, just in the same 
 proportion will you contribute to stay the progress 
 of a tremendous scourge, and to enforce the exe- 
 cution of good and salutary laws. 
 
176 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Effects of theatres on health. Testimony on the subject 
 
 With this pernicious practice, I have always been 
 decidedly at war. I believe the system to be whol- 
 iy wrong, and that those who countenance it, in 
 any way whatever, are wholly inexcusable. 
 
 Section III. On Theatres. 
 
 Much is said by the friends of theatres about 
 what they might be ; and not a few persons indulge 
 the hope that the theatre may yet be made a school 
 of morality. Hut my business at present is with it 
 as it is, and as it has hitherto been. The reader 
 will be more benefited by existing facts than san- 
 guine anticipations, or visionary predictions. 
 
 A German medical writer calculates that one in 
 150 of those who frequently attend theatres become 
 diseased and die, from the impurity of the atmos- 
 phere. The reason is, that respiration contami- 
 nates the air; and where large assemblies are 
 collected in close rooms, the air is corrupted much 
 more rapidly than many are aware. Lavoisier, the 
 French chemist, states, that in a theatre, from the 
 commencement to the end of the play, the oxygen 
 or vital air is diminished in the proportion of from 
 27 to 21, or nearly one fourth; and consequently 
 is in the same proportion less fit for respiration, 
 than it was before. This is probably the general 
 truth ; but the number of persons present, and the 
 amount of space, must determine, in a great meas^ 
 lire, the rapidity with which the air is corrupted. 
 
ON THEATRES. 177 
 
 Diseases produced by attending theatres. Their effects on morals. 
 
 The pit is the most unhealthy part of a play-house, 
 because the carbonic acid which is formed by res- 
 piration is heavier than atmospheric air, and ac- 
 cumulates near the floor. 
 
 It is painful to look round on a gay audience 
 of 1500 persons, and consider that ten of this num- 
 ber will die in consequence of breathing the bad 
 air of the room so frequently, and so long. But I 
 believe this estimate is quite within bounds. 
 
 There are however other results to be dreaded. 
 The practice of going out of a heated, as well as an 
 impure atmosphere late in the evening, and often 
 without sufficient clothing, exposes the individual 
 to cold, rheumatism, pleurisy, and fever. Many a 
 young lady, — and, I fear, not a few young gentle- 
 men, — get the consumption by taking colds in 
 this manner. 
 
 Not only the health of the body, but the mind 
 and morals, too, are often injured. Dr. Griscom, 
 of New York, in a report on the causes of vice and 
 crime in that city, made a few years since, says; 
 ‘Among the causes of vicious excitement in our 
 city, none appear to be so powerful in their nature 
 as theatrical amusements. The number of boys 
 and young men who have become determined 
 thieves, in order to procure the means of introduc- 
 tion to the theatres and circuses, would appal the 
 feelings of every vhtuous mind, could the whole 
 truth be laid open before them. 
 
 ‘ In the case of the feebler sex, the result is still 
 
178 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Theatres during the French revolution. Views of Plato and others. 
 
 worse. A relish for the amusements of the theatre^ 
 without the means of indulgence, becomes too 
 often a motive for listening to the first suggestion 
 of the seducer, and thus prepares the unfortunate 
 captive of sensuality for the haunts of infamy, and 
 a total destitution of all that is valuable in the mind 
 and character of woman.’ 
 
 The following fact is worthy of being consider- 
 ed by the friends and patrons of theatres. During 
 the progress of one of the most ferocious revolu- 
 tions which ever shocked the face of heaven, thea- 
 tres, in Paris alone, multiplied from six to twenty- 
 five. Now one of two conclusions follow from 
 this: Either the spirit of the times produced the 
 institutions, or the institutions cherished the spirit 
 of the times ; and this will certainly prove that they 
 are either the parents of vice or the offspring of it. 
 
 The philosopher Plato assures us, that ‘plays 
 raise the passions, and prevent the use of them; 
 and of course are dangerous to morality.’ 
 
 ^ The seeing of Comedies,^ says Aristotle, ‘ ought 
 to be forbidden to young people, till age and disci- 
 pline have made them proof against debauchery.’ 
 
 Tacitus says, ‘ The German women were guard- 
 ed against danger, and preserved their purity by 
 having no play-houses among them.’ 
 
 Even Ovid represents theatrical amusements as 
 a grand source of corruption, and he advised Au- 
 gustus to suppress them. 
 
 The infidel philosopher Rousseaii, declared him- 
 
ON THEATRES. 
 
 179 
 
 Opinions of Hawkins, Tillotson, Collier, Hale lind 
 
 self to be of opinion, that the theatre is, in all 
 cases, a school of vice. Though he had himself 
 written for the stage, yet, when it was proposed to 
 establish a theatre in the city of Geneva, he wrote 
 against the project with zeal and great force, and 
 expressed the opinion that every friend of pure 
 morals ought to oppose it. 
 
 Sir John Hawkins, in his life of Johnson, ob- 
 serves ‘ Although it is said of plays that they 
 teach morality, and of the stage that it is the mir- 
 ror of human life, these assertions are mere decla- 
 mation, and have no foundation in truth or expe- 
 rience. On the contrary, a play-house, and the 
 regions about it, are the very hot-beds of vice.’ 
 
 Archbishop Tillotson, after some pointed and 
 forcible reasoning against it, pronounces the play- 
 house to be ‘the devil’s chapel,’ ‘a nursery of li- 
 centiousness and vice,’ and ‘a recreation which 
 ought not to be allowed among a civilized, much 
 less a Christian people.’ 
 
 Bishop Collier solemnly declared, that he was 
 persuaded that ‘ nothing had done more to debauch 
 the age in which he lived, than the stage poets and 
 the play-house.’ 
 
 Sir Matthew Hale, having in early life experi- 
 enced the pernicious effects of attending the thea- 
 tre, resolved, when he came to London, never to 
 see a play again, and to this resolution he adhered 
 through life. 
 
 Burgh says ; ‘ What does it avail that the piece 
 
180 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE, 
 
 Johnson and Lord Kaimes. j^Young man in New York! 
 
 itself be unexceptioiiable, if it is to be interlarded 
 with lewd songs or dances, and tagged at the con- 
 clusion with a ludicrous and beastly farce? I 
 cannot therefore, in conscience, give youth any 
 other advice than to avoid such diversions as can- 
 not be indulged without the utmost danger of per- 
 verting their taste, and corrupting their morals.’ 
 
 Dr. Johnson’s testimony on this subject is nearly 
 as pointed as that of Archbishop Tillotson; and 
 Lord Kaimes speaks with much emphasis of the 
 ‘poisonous influence,’ of theatres. 
 
 Their evil tendency is seldom better illustrated 
 than by the following anecdote, from an individual 
 in New York, on whose statements we may place 
 the fullest reliance. 
 
 ‘ F. B. a young man of about twenty-two, called on 
 the writer in the fail of 1831 for employment. He 
 was a journeyman printer ; was recently from Ken- 
 tucky ; and owing to his want of employment, as 
 he said, was entirely destitute, not only of the com- 
 forts, but the necessaries of life. I immediately 
 procured him a respectable boarding house, gave 
 him employment, and rendered his situation as 
 comfortable as my limited means would permit. 
 
 ‘ He had not been with me long, before he ex- 
 pressed a desire to go to the theatre. Some great 
 actor was to perform on a certain night, and he 
 was very anxious to see him. I warned him of the 
 consequences, and told him, my own experience 
 and observation had convinced me that it was a 
 
ON theatres. 181 
 
 The yoiino[ man’s history ccmtinued. His desertion from the army. 
 
 very dangerous place for young men to visit. But 
 my warning did no good. He neglected his busi^ 
 ness, and went. I reproved him gently, but re- 
 tained him in my employment. He continued to 
 go, notwithstanding all my remonstrances to the 
 contrary. At length my business suffered so much 
 from his neglecting to attend to it as he ought, that 
 I was under the necessity of discharging him in 
 self-defence. He got temporary employment in 
 different offices of the city, where the same faidt 
 was found with him. Immediately after, he ac- 
 cepted a situation of bar-keeper in a porter house 
 or tavern attached to the theatre. His situation he 
 did not hold long — from what cause, I know not. 
 
 ‘He again applied to me for work; but as his 
 habits were not reformed, I did not think it pru-= 
 dent to employ him, allliough I said or did nothing 
 to injure him in the estimation of others. Disap- 
 pointed in procuring employment in a business to 
 which he had served a regular apprenticeship, 
 being pennyless, and seeing no bright prospect for 
 the future, he enlisted as a common soldier in the 
 United States’ service. 
 
 ‘ He had not been in his new vocation long, be- 
 fore he was called upon, with other troops, to de- 
 fend our citizens from the attacks of the Indians. 
 But when the troops had nearly reached their place 
 of destination, that ‘invisible scourge,’ the cholera, 
 made its appearance among them. Desertion was 
 the consequence, and among others who fled, wa« 
 the subject of this article. 16 
 
18^ THE yOXJNG MAN^S GUIDE. 
 
 His final fate. Keflections. Theatres not a new thing. 
 
 ‘He returned to New York — made application 
 at several different offices for employment, without 
 success. In a few days news came that he had 
 been detected in pilfering goods from the house of 
 his landlord. A warrant was immediately issued 
 for him — he was seized, taken to the police office 
 — convicted, and sentenced to six months’ hard 
 labor in the penitentiary. His name being publish- 
 ed in the newspapers, in connection with those of 
 other convicts — was immediately recognised by 
 the officer under whom he had enlisted. — This 
 officer proceeds to the city — claims the prisoner — 
 and it is at length agreed that he shall return to the 
 United States’ service, where he shall, for the first 
 six months, be compelled to roll sand as a punish- 
 ment for desertion, serve out the five years for 
 which he had enlisted, and then be given up to the 
 city authorities, to suffer for the crime of pilfering. 
 
 ‘ It is thus that we see a young man, of good 
 natural abilities, scarcely twenty-three years of age, 
 compelled to lose six of the most valuable years 
 of his life, besides ruining a fair reputation, and 
 bringing disgrace upon his parents and friends, 
 from the apparently harmless desire of seeing dra- 
 matic performances. Ought not this to be a warn- 
 ing to others, who are travelling on, imperceptibly 
 in the same road to ruin ? ’ 
 
 Theatres are of ancient date. One built of wood, 
 in the time of Cicero and Caesar, would contain 
 
SMOKING TOBACCO. 183 
 
 Theii* ofigiri. Female players. Theatres in France. 
 
 80,000 persons. The first stone theatre iit Rome, 
 was built by Pompey, and would contain 40,000. 
 There are one or two in Europe, at the present time, 
 that will accommodate 4000 or 5000. 
 
 In England, until 1660, public opinion did not 
 permit females to perform in theatres, but the parts 
 were performed by boys. 
 
 If theatres have a reforming tendency, this result 
 might have been expected in France, where they 
 have so long been popular and flourishing. In 1807, 
 there were in France 166 theatres, and 3968 per- 
 formers. In 1832 there were in Paris aione 17, 
 which could accommodate 21,000 persons. But we 
 do not find that they reformed the Parisians ; and 
 it is reasonable to expect they never will. 
 
 Let young men remember, that in this, as well 
 as in many other things, there is only one point of 
 Becurity, viz. total abstmence. 
 
 Section IV. Use of Tobacco • 
 
 1. SMOKING. 
 
 Smoking has every where, in Europe and Ame- 
 rica, become a tremendous evil ; and if we except 
 Holland and Germany, nowhere more so than in 
 this country. Indeed we are already fast treading 
 in the steps of those countries, and the following 
 vivid description of the miseries which this filthy 
 practice entails on the Germans will soon be quite 
 applicable to the people of the United States, unless 
 
J84 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Use of tobacco in Germany. In the United States. 
 
 we can induce the rising generation to turn the cur- 
 rent of pubiic opinion against it. 
 
 ‘ This plague, like the Egyptian plague of frogs, 
 is felt every where, and in every thing. It poisons 
 the streets, the clubs, and the coffee-houses ; — fur- 
 niture, clothes, equipage, persons, are redolent of 
 the abomination. It makes even the dulness of the 
 newspapers doubly narcotic: every eatable and 
 drinkable, all that can be seen, felt, heard or un- 
 derstood, is saturated with tobacco; — the very air 
 we breathe is but a conveyance for this poison 
 into the lungs ; and every man, woman, and child, 
 rapidly acquires the complexion of a boiled chicken. 
 From the hour of their waking, if nine-tenths of 
 their population can be said to awake at all, to the 
 hour of their lying down, the pipe is never out of 
 their mouths. One mighty fumigation reigns, and 
 human nature is smoked dry by tens of thousands 
 of square miles. The German physiologists com- 
 pute, that of 20 deaths, between eighteen and thirty- 
 five years, 10 originate in the waste of the consti- 
 tution by smoking,’ 
 
 This is indeed a horrid picture ; but when it is 
 considered that the best estimates which can be 
 made concur in showing that tobacco, to the amount 
 of $ 16,000,000, is consumed in the United States 
 annually, and that by far the greater part of this is 
 in smoking cigars, there is certainly room for gloomy 
 apprehensions. What though we do not use the 
 diity pipe of the Dutch and Germans? If we only 
 
SMOKING TOBACCO. • 185 
 
 Indecency of smoking. Parental example. Tobacco poisonous. 
 
 use the tobacco, the mischief is effectually accom- 
 plished. Perhaps it were even better that we should ' 
 lay out a part of our money for pipes, than to spend 
 the wliole for tobacco. 
 
 Smoking is indecent, filthy, and rude, and to many 
 individuals highly offensive. When first introduc- 
 ed into Europe, in the 16th century, its use was 
 prohibited under very severe penalties, which in 
 some countries amounted even to cutting off the 
 nose. And how much better is the practice of vo- 
 luntarily burning up our noses, by making a chim- 
 ney of them? 1 am happy, however, in being 
 able to state, that this unpardonable practice is now 
 abandoned in many of the fashionable societies in 
 Europe. 
 
 There is one remarkable fact to be observed in 
 speaking on this subject. No parent ever teaches 
 his child the use of tobacco, or even encourages it, 
 except by his example. Thus the smoker virtually 
 condemns himself in the very ‘thing which he 
 alloweth.’ It is not precisely so in the case of 
 spirits; for many parents dffectly encourage the 
 use of that. 
 
 Tobacco is one of the most powerful poisons in 
 nature. Even the physician, some of whose medi- 
 cines are so active that a few grains, or a few drops, 
 will destroy life at once, finds tobacco too power- 
 ful for his use ; and in those cases where it is most 
 clearly required, only makes it a last resort. Its 
 daily use, in any form, deranges, and sometimes 
 16 * 
 
186 THE YOUNG man’s GUIDE. 
 
 Smoking injures the eyes. Produces other evils. Its expense 
 
 destroys tbe stomach and nerves, produces weak- 
 ness, low spirits, dyspepsy, vertigo, and many other 
 complaints. These are its more immediate effects. 
 
 Its remoter effects are scarcely less dreadful. 
 It dries the mouth and nostrils, and probably the 
 brain ; benumbs the senses of smell and taste, im 
 pairs the hearing, and ultimately the eye-sight 
 Germany, a smoking nation, is at tbe same time, a 
 spectacled nation. More than all this; it dries the 
 blood ; creates thirst and loss of appetite ; and in 
 this and other ways, often lays the foundation of 
 intemperance. In fact, not a few persons are made 
 drunkards by this very means. Dr. Rush has a 
 long chapter on this subject in one of his volumes, 
 which is well worth your attention. In addition 
 to all this, it has often been observed that in fevers 
 and other diseases, medicines never operate well 
 in constitutions which have been accustomed to 
 the use of tobacco. 
 
 Of the expense which the use of it involves, I 
 have already spoken. Of the $ 16,000,000 thus 
 expended, $ 9,000,000 are supposed to be for smok- 
 ing Spanish cigars ; $ 6,500,000 for smoking Ame- 
 rican tobacco, and for chewing it ; and $ 500,000 
 for snuff. 
 
 Although many people of real intelligence be- 
 come addicted to this practice, as is the case espe- 
 cially among the learned in Germany, yet it cannot 
 be denied that in general, tliose individuals and 
 nations \vhose mental powers are the weakest, ar^ 
 
SMOKING TOBACCO. 
 
 187 
 
 Practices of savage nations. The Gypsies. Betel. 
 
 (in proportion to their means of acquiring it) most 
 enslaved to it. To be convinced of the truth of 
 this remark, we have only to open our eyes to facts 
 as tliey exist around us. 
 
 All ignorant and savage nations indulge in extra- 
 ordinary stimulants, (and tobacco among the rest,) 
 whenever they have the means of obtaining them ; 
 and in proportion to their degradation. Thus it is 
 with the native tribes of North America; thus with 
 the natives of Africa, Asia, and New Holland; 
 thus with the Cretins and Gypsies. Zimmerman 
 says, that the latter ‘suspended their predatory ex- 
 cursions, and on an appointed evening in every 
 week, assemble to enjoy their guilty spoils in the 
 fumes of strong waters and tobacco^ Here they are 
 represented as indulging in idle tales about the 
 character and conduct of those around them; a 
 statement which can very easily be believed by 
 those who have watched the effects produced by 
 the fumes of stimulating beverages much more 
 ^respectable’^ than spirits or tobacco smoke, 
 
 The quantity which is used in civilized nations 
 is almost incredil>ly great. England alone import- 
 ed, in 1829, 22,400,000 lbs. of unmanufactured to- 
 bacco. There is no narcotic plant —not even the 
 tea plant — in such extensive use, unless it is the 
 betel of India and the adjoining countries. This 
 is the leaf of a climbing plant resembling ivy, but 
 of the pepper tribe. The people of the east chew 
 it so incessantly, and in such quantities, that tlieir 
 
188 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 What shall be done ? Chewing tobacco. Excuses for it 
 
 lips become quite red, and their teeth black — 
 showing that it has affected their whole systems. 
 They carry it about them in boxes, and offer it to 
 each other in compliment, as the Europeans do 
 snuff; and it is considered uncivil and unkind to 
 refuse to accept and chew it. This is done by the 
 women as well as by the men. Were we dispos- 
 ed, we might draw from this fact many important 
 lessons on our own favored stimulants. 
 
 In view of the great and growing evil of smok- 
 ing, the practical question arises ; ‘ What shall be 
 done ? ’ The answer is — Render it unfashionable 
 and disreputable. Do you ask, ‘ Hoiv is this to be 
 accomplished ? ’ Why, how has alcohol been ren- 
 dered unpopular.^ Do you still say, ‘One person 
 alone cannot effect much.^’ But so might any 
 person have said a few years ago, in regard to 
 spirits. Individuals must commence the work of 
 reformation in the one case, as well as in the other ; 
 and success will then be equally certain. 
 
 2 . CHEWING. 
 
 Many of the remarks already made apply with 
 as much force to the use of tobacco in every form, 
 as to the mere habit of smoking. But I have a few 
 additional thoughts on chewing this plant. 
 
 There ai*e never wanting excuses for any thing 
 which we feel strongly inclined to do. Thus a 
 thousand little frivolous pleas are used for chew- 
 ing tobacco. One man of reputed good sense told 
 
CHEWING TOBACCO. 189 
 
 Does tobacco preserve the teeth. Subject considered. 
 
 me that liis tobacco probably cost him nothing, for 
 if he did not use it, he ‘should be apt to spend as 
 much wortli of time in 'picking and eating summer 
 fruits, as would pay for it.’ No^v 1 do not like the 
 practice of eating even summer fruits between 
 meals ; but they are made to be eaten moderately, 
 no doubt; and if people will not eat them with 
 their food, it is generally a less evil to eat them 
 between meals, than not at all. But the truth is, 
 tobacco chewers never relish these things at any 
 time. 
 
 The only plea for chewing this noxious plant, 
 which is entitled to a serious consideration is, that 
 it tends to preserve the teeth. This is the strong 
 hold of tobacco chewers — not, generally, when 
 they commence the practice, but as soon as they 
 find themselves slaves to it. 
 
 Now the truth appears to be this: 
 
 1. ‘ When a tooth is decayed in such a manner 
 as to leave the nerve exposed, there is no doubt 
 that the pow^erful stimulus of tobacco must greatly 
 diminish its sensibility. But there are very many 
 other substances, less poisonous, whose occasional 
 application would accomplish the same result, and 
 without deadening, at the same time, the sensibili- 
 ties of the whole system, as tobacco does. 
 
 2. The person who chews tobacco, generally 
 puts a piece in his mouth immediately after eating. 
 This is immediately moved from place to place, 
 and not only performs, in some measure, the office 
 
T9'0 THE YOUNG man’s GUIDE. 
 
 Evils of snuft' taking. Chesterfield’s opinion. 
 
 of a brush and toothpick, but produces a sudden 
 flow of saliva ; and in consequence of both of these 
 causes combined, the teeth are effectually cleansed ; 
 and cleanliness is undoubtedly one of the most 
 effectual preventives of decay in teeth yet known. 
 Yet there are far better means of cleansing the 
 mouth and teeth after eating than by means of 
 tobacco. 
 
 If there be any other known reasons why tobac- 
 co should preserve teeth, I am ignorant of them. 
 There are then no arguments of any weight for 
 .using it ; while there are a multitude of very strong 
 reasons against it. I might add them, in this place, 
 but it appears to me unnecessary. 
 
 3. TAKING SNUFF. 
 
 I have seen many individuals who would not, 
 on any account whatever, use spirits, or chew to- 
 bacco ; but who would not hesitate to dry up their 
 nasal membranes, injure their speech, induce ca- 
 tarrhal affections, and besmear their face, clothes, 
 books, &c. with snuff. This, however common, 
 appears to me ridiculous. Almost all the serious 
 evils which result from smoking and chewing, fol- 
 low the practice of snuffing powdered tobacco into 
 the nose. Even Chesterfield opposes it, when after 
 characterizing all use of tobacco or snuff, in any 
 form, as both vulgar and filthy, he adds : ‘ Besides, 
 snuff-takers are generally very dull and shallow peo- 
 ple, and have recourse to it merely as a fillip to tho 
 
TAKING SNUW. 
 
 m 
 
 Painful diseases produced by snufF taking. Recreatio^. 
 
 brain ; by all means, therefore, avoid the filthy cm- 
 tom.’ This censure, though rather severe, is equal- 
 ly applicable to smoking and chewing. 
 
 Naturalists say there is one species of maggot 
 fly that mistakes the odor of some kinds of snuff 
 for that of putrid substances, and deposits its eggs 
 in it. In warm weather therefore, it must be dan- 
 gerous to take snuff which has been exposed to 
 these insects; for the eggs sometimes hatch in 
 two hours, and the most tremendous consequences 
 might follow. And it is not impossible that some 
 of the most painful diseases to which the human 
 race are liable, may have been occasionally produced 
 by this or a similar cause. The ‘tic douloureux’ is 
 an example. 
 
 A very common disease in sheep is known to be 
 produced by worms in cavities which communi- 
 cate with the nose. Only a little acquaintance 
 with the human structure would show that there 
 are a number of cavities in the bones of the face 
 and head, some of which will hold half an ounce 
 each, which communicate with the nose, and into 
 which substances received into this organ occasion- 
 ally fall, but cannot escape as easily as they enter. 
 
 Section V. Useful Recreations. 
 
 The young, I shall be told, must and will have 
 their recreations ; and if they are to be denied every 
 species of gaming, what shall they do? ‘You 
 
192 THE YOUNG man’s GUIDE. 
 
 Recreations in the open air. Skating. Dancing. 
 
 would not, surely, have them spend their leisure 
 hours in gratifying the senses ; in eating, drinking, 
 and licentiousness.’ 
 
 By no means. Recreations they must have ; ac- 
 tive recreation, too, in the ot>enjdr. Some of the 
 most appropriate are playing htm^uoits, ninepins, 
 and other athletic exercises ; but in no case for 
 money, or any similar consideration. Skating is a 
 good exercise in its proper season, if followed 
 with great caution. Dancings for those who sit 
 much, such as pupils in sch<^l, tailors and shoe- 
 makers, would be an appropriate exercise, if it were 
 not perpetually abused. By assembling in large 
 crowds, continuing it late at evening, and then sally- 
 ing out in a perspiration, into the cold or damp 
 night air, a thousand times more mischief has been 
 done, than all the benefit which it has afforded 
 would balance. It were greatly to be wished that 
 this exercise might be regulated by those rules 
 which human experience has indicated, instead of 
 being subject to the whim and caprice of fashion. 
 It is a great pity an exercise so valuable to the se- 
 dentary, and especially those who sit much, of both 
 sexes, should be so managed as to injure half the 
 world, and excite against it the prejudices of the 
 other half. 
 
 I have*said tliat the jmung must have recreations, 
 and generally in the open air. The reason why 
 they should usually be conducted in the open air, 
 is, that their ordinary occupations too frequently 
 
USEFUL RECREATIONS. 193 
 
 Fire-side recreations Books. Newspapers. Lyceums. Anecdote. 
 
 confine them within doors, and of course in an 
 atmosphere more or less vitiated. Farmers, gar- 
 deners, rope makers, and persons whose occupa- 
 tions are of an active nature, do not need ^ut-of- 
 door sports at all. Their recreations should be by 
 the fire side. - Not with cards or dice, nor in the 
 company of those whose company is not worth 
 having. But the book, the newspaper, conversa.- 
 tion, or the lyceum, will be the appropriate re- 
 creations for these classes, and will be found in the 
 highest degree satisfactory. For the evening, the 
 lyceum is particularly adapted, because laboring 
 young men are often too much fatigued at night, 
 to think, closely ; and the lyceum, or conversation, 
 will be more agreeable, and not less useful. But the 
 family circle may of itself constitute a lyceum, and 
 the book or the newspaper may be made the sub- 
 ject of discussion. I have known the heads of 
 families in one neighborhood greatly improved, 
 and the whole neighborhood derive an impulse, 
 from the practice of meeting one evening in the 
 week, to read the news together, and converse on 
 the more interesting intelligence of the day. 
 
 Some strongly recommend ‘the sports of the 
 field,’ and talk with enthusiasm of ‘ hunting, cours- 
 ing, fishing;’ and of ‘dogs and horses.’ But these 
 are no recreations for me. True they are healthy 
 to the body; but not to the morals. This. I say 
 confidently, although some of my readers may 
 17 
 
194 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Field sports. Their cruelty. They are unchristian. 
 
 smile, and call it an affectation of sensibility. Yet 
 with Cowper, 
 
 ‘ I would not enter on my list of friends 
 
 The man who needlessly sets foot upon a worm.’ 
 
 If the leading objects of field sports were to pro- 
 cure sustenance, I would not say a word. But 
 the very term sports, implies something different. 
 And shall we sport with life — even that of the 
 inferior animals.^ That which we cannot give, 
 shall we presumptuously dare to take away, and 
 as our only apology say, ‘ Am I not in sport ? ’ 
 Besides, other amusements equally healthy, and 
 if we are accustomed to them, equally pleasant, 
 and much more rational, can be substituted. What 
 they are, I have mentioned, at least hi part. How 
 a sensible man, and especially a Christian, can 
 hunt or fish, when he would not do it, were it not 
 for the pleasure he enjoys in the cruelty it in- 
 volves; — how, above all, a wise father can recom- 
 mend it to his children, or to others, I am utterly 
 unable to conceive ! 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 Kmiirobemcnt of tj)c 
 
 Section L Habit of Observation. 
 
 ‘Your eyes open, your thoughts close, will go 
 safe through the world,’ is a maxim which some 
 have laid down ; but it savors rather too much of 
 selfishness. ‘You may learn from others all you 
 can, but you are to give them as little opportunity 
 as possible for learning from you,’ seems to be the 
 language, properly interpreted. Suppose every 
 one took the advice, and endeavored to keep his 
 thoughts close, for fear he should either be misun- 
 derstood, or thought wanting in wisdom; what 
 would become of the pleasures of conversation? 
 Yet these make up a very considerable item of the 
 happiness of human life. 
 
 I have sometimes thought with Dr. Rush, that 
 taciturnity, though often regarded as a mark of 
 wisdom, is rather the effect of a ‘want of ideas.’ 
 The doctor mentions the taciturnity of the Ameri- 
 can Indians as a case in point. Even in civilized 
 company, he believes that with one or two ex- 
 ceptions, an indisposition to join in conversation 
 
196 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 
 
 Observation. Ditfercnce in the power of acquiring the habit 
 
 ‘ill nine cases out of ten, is a mark of stupidity,’ 
 and presently adds ; ‘ Ideas, whether acquired 
 from books or by reflection, produce a plethora in 
 the mind, which can only be relieved by depletion 
 from the pen or tongue.’ 
 
 ‘Keep your eyes open,’ however, is judicious 
 advice. How many who have the eyes of their 
 body open, keep the eyes of the soul perpetually 
 shut up. ‘Seeing, they see not.’ Such persons, 
 on arriving at the age of three or four score, may 
 lay claim to superior wisdom on account of supe- 
 rior age, but their claims ought not to be admitted. 
 A person who has the eyes both of his mind and 
 body open, will derive more wisdom from one 
 year’s experience, than those who neglect to ob- 
 serve for themselves, from ten. Thus at thirty, 
 with ten years acquaintance with men, manners 
 and things, a person may be wiser than another 
 at three times thirty, with seven times ten years 
 of what he calls experience. Sound practical wis- 
 dom, cannot, it is true, be rapidly acquired any 
 where but in the school of experience, but the 
 world abounds with men who are old enough to 
 be wise, and yet are very ignorant. Let it be 
 your fixed resolution not to belong to this class. 
 
 But in order to have the mental eyes open, the 
 external eyes should be active. We should, as a 
 general rule, see what is going on around us. 
 There are indeed seasons, occurring in the school 
 or the closet, when abstraction is desirable; but 
 
OBSERVATION. 197 
 
 A paradox explained. Anecdote of Dr. Dwight. Pedantry. 
 
 speaking generally, we should ‘keep our eyes 
 open.’ 
 
 It is hence easy to see why some men who are 
 accounted learned, are yet in common life very 
 great fools. Is it not because their eyes have been 
 shut to every thing but books, and schools, and 
 colleges, and universities ? 
 
 The late Dr. Dwight was an eminent instance 
 of keeping up an acquaintance both with books, 
 and the world in which he lived and acted. In 
 his walks, or wherever he happened to be, no- 
 thing could escape his eye. ‘Not a bird could 
 fly up,’ says one of his students, ‘but he observ- 
 ed it.’ And he endeavored to establish the same 
 habit of observation in others. Riding in a chaise, 
 one day, with a student of his, who was apt to 
 be abstracted from surrounding things, he sudden- 
 ly exclaimed, almost hidignant at his indifference, 
 ‘ S — keep your eyes open ! ’ The lesson was not 
 lost. It made a deep impression on the mind of 
 the student. Though by no means distinguished 
 in his class, he has outstripped many, if not the 
 most of them, in actual and practical usefulness; 
 and to this hour, he attributes much of his success 
 to the foregohig circumstance. 
 
 There is a pedantry in these things, however, 
 which is not only fulsome, but tends to defeat our 
 very purpose. It is not quite sufficient that we 
 merely bestow a passing glance on objects, they 
 must strilce deep. If they do not, they had better 
 
 17 # 
 
198 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Affectation of knowledge. Anecdote of the elder Pliny. 
 
 not have been seen at all ; since the habit of ‘ see- 
 in ^ not,’ while we appear to ‘see,’ has been all the 
 while strengthening. 
 
 It cannot be denied that a person who shall take 
 the advice I have given, may, with a portion of 
 his fellow men, gain less credit than if he adopted 
 a different course. There is a certain surgeon, in 
 one of the New England States, w^ho has acquired 
 much popularity by reading as he travels along. 
 Seldom or never, say his admirers, is he seen in 
 his carriage without a book in his hand, or at his 
 side. But such popularity is usually of a mush- 
 room character. There may be pressing occasions 
 which render it the duty of a surgeon to consult 
 his books, while in his carriage; but these occa- 
 sions can never be of frequent occurrence. It is 
 far better that he should be reading lessons from 
 the great and open volume of nature. 
 
 Nor does it add, in any degree, to the just re- 
 spect due to the wisdom of either of the Plinys, 
 that the elder ‘ never travelled without a book and 
 a portable writing desk by his side, ’ and that the 
 younger read upon all occasions, whether riding, 
 walking, or sitting.’ I cannot doubt that, wise as 
 they were in books and philosophy, they would 
 have secured a much greater fund of j)ractical wis- 
 dom, had they left their books and writing desks 
 at home, and ‘ kept their eyes open ’ to surrounding 
 objects. 
 
 There is another thing mentioned of Pliny the 
 
RULES FOR CONVERSATION. 199 
 
 Improvement from conversation. Every one has his excellences. 
 
 elder, which is equally objectionable. It is said 
 that a person read to him during his meals, I 
 have given my views on this point, in Chapter I. 
 
 Section II. Rules for Conversation, 
 
 The bee has the art of extracting honey from 
 every flower which contains it, even from some 
 which are not a little nauseous or poisonous. It 
 has also been said that the conversation of every 
 individual, whatever may be the condition of his 
 mind or circumstances, may be made a means of 
 improvement. How happy would it be, then, if 
 man possessed the skill of the bee, and knew how 
 to extract the good, and reject the bad or useless! 
 
 Something on this subject is, indeed, known. 
 There are rules, by the observance of which we 
 may derive much valuable information from the 
 conversation of those among whom we live, even 
 though it should relate to the most ordinary sub- 
 jects and concerns. And not only so, we may of- 
 ten devise means to change the conversation, either 
 directly, by gradually introducing other topics of 
 discourse, or indirectly, by patient attempts to en- 
 large and improve and elevate the minds of our 
 associates. 
 
 Every individual has excellences; and almost 
 every person, however ignorant, has thought upon 
 some one subject more than many, — perhaps most 
 — others. Some excel in the knowledge of hus- 
 
^00 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE* 
 
 A useful rule. Hero of the circle. An objectioilh 
 
 bandry, some in gardening, some in mechanics, or 
 manufactures, some in mathematics, and so on. 
 In all your conversation, then, it will be well to 
 ascertain as nearly as you can wherein the skill 
 and excellence of an individual lies, and put him 
 upon his favorite subject. Nor is this difficult. 
 Every one will^ of his own accord, fall to talking 
 on his favorite topic, if you will follow, and not 
 attempt to lead him. 
 
 Except in a few rare cases, every one wishes to 
 be the hero of the circle where he is conversings 
 If, therefore, you seek to improve in the greatest 
 possible degree, from the conversation of those 
 among whom you may be thrown, you will suffer 
 a companion to take his own course, and ‘ out of the 
 abundance of his heart,’ let his ‘mouth speak.’ 
 By this means you may easily collect the worth 
 and excellence of every one you meet with ; and 
 be able to put it together for your own use upon 
 future occasions. 
 
 The common objections to the views here pre- 
 sented, are, that they encourage dissimulation. 
 But this does not appear to me to be the fact. In 
 suffering a person, for the space of a single con- 
 versation, to be the hero of the circle, we do not 
 of necessity concede his superiority generally ; we 
 only help him to be useful to the company. It 
 often happens that you are thrown among persons 
 whom you cannot benefit b})^ becoming the hero 
 of the circle yourself, for they will not listen to 
 
RULES FOR CONVERSATION. 201 
 
 Avoid interrupting others. ^hiin the wanton and profane. 
 
 you ; and perhaps will not understand your terms, 
 if they do. If, however, there appear to be others 
 in the company whose object, like your own, is 
 improvement, you mi^ht expose yourself to the 
 just charge of being selfish, should you refuse to con- 
 verse upon your own favorite topics in your turn ; 
 and thus to let the good deed go round. 
 
 Never interrupt another, but hear him out. You 
 will understand him the better for it, and be able 
 to give him the better answer. If you only give 
 him an opportunity, he may say something which 
 you have not yet heard, or explain what you did 
 not fully understand, or even mention something 
 which you did not expect. 
 
 There are individuals with whom you may oc- 
 casionally come in contact, from whose conversa- 
 tion you will hardly derive much benefit at all. 
 Such are those who use wanton, or obscene, or 
 profane language. For, besides the almost utter 
 hopelessness of deriving any benefit from such per- 
 sons, and the pain you must inevitably suffer in 
 hearing them, you put your own reputation at 
 hazard. ‘A man is known by the company he 
 keeps;’ take care therefore bow you frequent the 
 company of the swearer or the sensualist. Avoid, 
 too, the known liar, for similar reasons. 
 
 If you speak in company, it is not only modest 
 but wise to speak late ; for by this means, you will 
 be able to render your conversation more accept- , 
 .able, and to weigh beforehand the importance of 
 
202 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Speak in few words Be cairn. Avoid hnes8<^ 
 
 what you utter ; and you will be less likely to vio- 
 late the good old rule, ‘think twice before you 
 ^eak once.’ Let your words be as few as will 
 express the sense which you wish to convey, es- 
 pecially when strangers or men of much greater 
 experience than yourself are present; and above 
 all, be careful that what you say be strictly true. 
 
 Do not suffer your feelings to betray you into 
 too great earnestness, or vehemence ; and never be 
 overbearing. Avoid triumphing over an antag- 
 onist, even though you might reasonably do so. 
 You gain nothing. On the contrary, you often 
 confirm him in his erroneous opinions. At least, 
 you prejudice him against yourself. Zimmerman 
 insists that we should suffer an antagonist to get 
 the victory over us occasionally, in order to raise hia 
 respect for himself. All Jinesse of this kind, how- 
 ever, as Christians, I think it better to avoid. 
 
 Section III. On Books, and Study. 
 
 It may excite some surprise that books, and 
 study, do not occupy a more conspicuous place in 
 this work. There are several reasons for this cir- 
 cumstance. The first is, a wish to counteract the 
 prevailing tendency to make too much of books 
 as a means of forming character. The second is, 
 because the choice of these depends more upon 
 . parents and teachers than upon the individual him- 
 self ; and if they have neglected to lay the founda-^ 
 
ON BOOKS AND STUDY. 203 
 
 Methods of improvement. Debating societies. Newspapers. 
 
 tion of a desire for mental improvement, there is 
 less probability that any advice I may give on this 
 subject will be serviceable, than on most others. 
 
 And yet, no young man, at any age, ought to 
 despair of establishing such habits of body and 
 mind as he believes would contribute to his use- 
 fulness. He hates the sight of a book perhaps; 
 but what then? This prejudice may, in a meas- 
 ure, be removed. Not at once, it is true, but gradu- 
 ally. Not by compelling himself to read or study 
 against his inclination; for little will be accom- 
 plished when it goes ‘ against the grain.’ But there 
 are means better and more effective than these ; 
 some of which I will now proceed to point out. 
 
 Let him attach himself to some respectable lyce- 
 um or debating society. Most young men are 
 willing to attend a lyceum, occasionally ; and thanks 
 to the spirit of the times and those who have 
 zealously labored to produce the present state of 
 things, these institutions every where abound. Let 
 him now and then take part in a discussion, if it be, 
 at first, only to say a few words. The moment he 
 can awaken an interest in almost any subject what- 
 ever, that moment he will, of necessity, seek for 
 infoiTTiation in regard to it. He will seek it, not 
 only in conversation, but in newspapers. These, if 
 well selected, will in their turn refer him to books 
 of travels. Gradually he will find histories, if not 
 written in too dry a manner, sources of delight. 
 Thus he will proceed, step by step, till he finds 
 
204 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Avoid studying too long. An erroneous impression corrected. 
 
 himself quite attached to reading of various des- 
 criptions. 
 
 There is one caution to be observed here, which 
 iSj not to read too long or too much at once. When 
 ever a book, or even a newspaper, begins to be 
 irksome, let it be laid aside for the time. In this 
 way you will return to it, at the next leisure mo- 
 ment, with increased pleasure. 
 
 A course not unlike that which I have been 
 describing, faithfully and perseveringly followed, 
 would in nine cases in ten, be successful. Indeed, 
 I never yet knew of a single failure. One great 
 point is, to be thoroughly convinced of its im- 
 portance, No youngs man can reasonably expect 
 success, unless he enters upon his work with 
 his whole heart, and pursues it with untiring as- 
 siduity. 
 
 Of the necessity of improvement, very few young 
 men seem to have doubts. But there is a diffi- 
 culty which many feel, which it will require no 
 little effort to remove, because it is one of long 
 standing, and wrought into all the arrangements of 
 civilized society. I allude to the prevailing im- 
 pression that very little can be done to improve 
 the mind beyond a certain age, and the limit is 
 often fixed at eighteen or twenty years. We hear 
 it, indeed, asserted, that nothing can be done after 
 thnty ; but the general belief is that most men can- 
 not do much after twenty : or at least that it will 
 cost much hai-der effort and study. 
 
Self education. 
 
 ON BOOKS AND STUDY. 205 
 
 On beginning study late in life. 
 
 Now, I would be the last to encourage any young 
 person in wasting, or even undervaluing his early 
 years; for youth is a golden period, and every 
 moment well spent will te to the future what good 
 seed, well planted in its season, is to the husband- 
 man. 
 
 The truth is, that what we commonly call a 
 course of education, is only a course which pre- 
 pares a young man to educate himself. It is giving 
 him the keys of knowledge. But who will sit 
 down contentedly and cease to make effort, the 
 moment he obtains the keys to the most valuable 
 of treasures ? It is strange, indeed, that we should 
 so long have talked of finishing an education, when 
 we have only just prepared ourselves to begin it. 
 
 If any young man at twenty, twenty-five, or 
 thirty, finds himself ignorant, whether the fault is 
 his own or that of others, let him not for one single 
 moment regard his age as presenting a serious ob- 
 stacle to improvement. Should these remarks meet 
 the eye of any such individual, let me prevail with 
 him, when I urge him to make an effort. Not 
 a momentary effort, either; let him take time for 
 his experiment. Even Rome was not built in a 
 day ; and he who thinks to build up a well regulated 
 and highly enlightened mind in a few weeks, or 
 even months, has yet to learn the depths of his own 
 ignorance. 
 
 It would be easy to cite a long list of men who 
 commenced study late in life, and yet finally be^ 
 18 
 
206 TttE YOUNG man’s GUit)E. 
 
 Examples of late students. Dr. Franklin. Our indolence. 
 
 came eminent ; and this, too, with no instructors 
 but themselves and their books. Some have met 
 with signal success, who commenced after forty 
 years of age. Indeed, no reason can be shown, why 
 the mind may not improve as long, at least, as the 
 body. But all experience goes to prove that with 
 those whose habits are judicious, the physical frame 
 does not attain perfection, in every respect, till 
 thhty-five or forty. 
 
 It is indeed said that knowledge, if it could be 
 acquired thus late in life, would be easily forgotten. 
 This is true, if it be that kind of knowledge for 
 which we have no immediate use. But if it be 
 of a practical character, it will not fail to be re- 
 membered. Franklin was always learning, till 
 death. And what he learned he seldom forgot, 
 because he had an immediate use for it. I have 
 said, it is a great point to be convinced of the im- 
 portance of knowledge. I might add that it is a 
 point of still greater consequence to feel our own 
 ignorance. ‘To know ourselves diseased, (moral- 
 ly) is half our cure.’ To know our own ignorance 
 is the first step to knowledge; and other things 
 being alike, our progress in knowledge will gene- 
 rally be in proportion to our sense of the want of it. 
 
 The strongest plea which indolence is apt to 
 put in, is, that we have no time for study. Many 
 a young man has had some sense of his own ig- 
 norance, and a corresponding thirst for knowledge, 
 but alas ! the idea was entertained that he had no 
 
ON BOOKS AND STUDY. 207 
 
 Time enough for study. Alfred. Franklin. Frederick. Napoleon. 
 
 time to read — no time to study — no time to think. 
 And resting on this plea as satisfactory, he has 
 gone down to the grave the victim not only of 
 indolence and ignorance, but perhaps of vice ; — 
 vice, too, which he might have escaped with a little 
 more general intelligence. 
 
 No greater mistake exists than that which so often 
 haunts the human mind, that we cannot find time 
 for things ; things, too, which we have previously 
 decided for ourselves that we ought to do. Alfred, 
 king of England, though he performed more busi- 
 ness than almost any of his subjects, found time 
 for study. Franklin, in the midst of all his labors, 
 found time to dive mto the depths of philosophy, 
 and explore an untrodden path of science. Fred- 
 erick the Great, with an empire at his direction, in 
 the midst of war, and on the eve of battles, found 
 time to revel in all the charms of philosophy, and 
 to feast himself on the rich viands of intellect. 
 Bonaparte, with Europe at his disposal, with kings 
 at his ante-chamber begging for vacant thrones, and 
 at the head of thousands of men whose destinies 
 were suspended on his arbitrary pleasure, had time 
 to converse with books. Csesar, when he had curb- 
 ed the spirits of the Roman people, and was throng- 
 ed with visitors from the remotest kingdoms, found 
 time for intellectual cultivation. The late Dr. Rush, 
 and the still later Dr. Dwight, are eminent instances 
 of what may be done for the cultivation of tho 
 mind, in the midst of the greatest pressure of othev 
 occupation. 
 
SOS THE TOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Other examples. Most persons can find leisure for reading. 
 
 On this point, it may be useful to mention the re- 
 sults of my own observation. At no period of my 
 life am I conscious of having made greater pro- 
 gress than I have sometimes done while laboring 
 in the summer ; and almost incessantly too. It is 
 true, I read but little ; yet that little was well un- 
 derstood and thoroughly digested. Almost all the 
 knowledge I possess of ancient history was obtain- 
 ed in this way, in one year. Of course, a particular 
 knowledge could not be expected, under such cir- 
 cumstances; but the general impressions and lead- 
 ing facts which were imbibed, will be of very great 
 value to me, as I trust, through life. And I am 
 acquainted with one or two similar instances. 
 
 It is true that mechanics and manufacturers, as 
 well as men of most other occupations, find fewer 
 leisure hours than most farmers. The latter class 
 of people are certainly moi*e favorably situated 
 than any other. But it is also true that even the 
 former, almost without exception, can command a 
 small portion of their time every day, for the pur- 
 poses of mental improvement, if they are determin- 
 ed on it. Few individuals can be found in the 
 community, who have not as much leisure as I 
 had during the summer I have mentioned. The 
 great point is to have the necessary disposition to 
 improve it; and a second point, of no small im- 
 portance, is to have at hand, proper means of in- 
 struction. Of the latter I shall speak presently. 
 
 The reason why laboring men make such rapid 
 
ON BOOKS AND STUDY. 209 
 
 Mental progress of laborers. Pursuit of knowledge in difficulties. 
 
 progress in knowledge, in proportion to the num- 
 ber of hours they devote to study, appears to me 
 obvious. The mental appetite is keen, and they 
 devour with a relish. Wliat little they read and 
 understand, is thought over, and perhaps conversed 
 upon, during the long interval; and becomes truly 
 the property of the reader. Whereas those who 
 make study a business, never possess a healthy ap- 
 petite for knowledge ; they are always cloyed, no- 
 thing is well digested ; and the result of their 
 continued effort is either a superficial or a distorted 
 view of a great many things, without a thorough 
 or practical understanding of any. 
 
 I do not propose, in a work of this kind, to 
 recommend to young men what particular books on 
 any subject they ought to study. First, because it 
 is a matter of less importance than many others, 
 and T cannot find room to treat of every thing. 
 
 He who has the determination to make progress, 
 will do so, either with or without books, though 
 these are certainly useful. But an old piece of 
 newspaper, or a straggling leaf from some book, or 
 an inscription on a monument, or the monument 
 itself — and works of nature as well as of art, will 
 be books to him. Secondly, because there is such 
 an extensive range for selection. But, thirdly, 
 because it may often be left to the reader’s o^vn 
 taste and discretion. He will probably soon dis- 
 cover whether he is deriving solid or permanent 
 benefit fi'om his studies, and govej*n liimself 
 ] 8 -^' 
 
210 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Importance of geography to the young. Method of study. 
 
 cordingly. Or if he have a friend at hand, who 
 will be likely to make a judicious selection, with 
 a proper reference to his actual progress and 
 wants, he would do wrong not to avail himself of 
 that friend’s opinion. 
 
 I will now mention a few of the particular studies 
 to which he who would educate himself for useful- 
 ness should direct his attention. 
 
 ]. GEOGRAPHY. 
 
 As it is presumed that every one whom I address 
 reads newspapers more or less, I must be per- 
 mitted to recommend that you read them with 
 good maps of every quarter of the world before 
 you, and a geography and correct gazetteer at 
 hand. When a place is mentioned, observe its 
 situation on the map, read an account of it in the 
 gazetteer, and a more particular description in the 
 geography. Or if you choose to go through with 
 the article, and get some general notions of the 
 subject, and afterwards go back and read it a sec- 
 ond time, in the manner proposed, to this I have no 
 objection. 
 
 Let me insist, strongly, on the importance of 
 this method of reading. It may seem slow at fii'st ; 
 but believe me, you will be richly repaid in the 
 end. Even in the lyceum, where the subject 
 seems to demand it, and the nature of the case will 
 admit, it ought to be required of lecturers and dis- 
 putants, to explain every thing in passing, either 
 
STUDY OF GEOGRAPHY. 211 
 
 Benefits of studying geography. How to study history 
 
 by reference to books themselves on the spot, or 
 by maps, apparatus, diagrams, &c ; with which, it 
 is plain, that every lyceum ought to be furnished. 
 The more intelligent would lose nothing, while the 
 less so, would gain much, by this practice. The 
 expense of these things, at the present time, is so 
 trifling, that no person, or association of persons, 
 whose object is scientific improvement, should, by 
 any means, dispense with them. 
 
 No science expands the mind of a young man 
 more, at the same time that it secures his cheerful 
 attention, than geography — I mean if pursued in 
 the foregoing manner. Its use is so obvious that 
 the most stupid cannot fail to see it. Much is said, 
 I know, of differences of taste on this, as well as 
 every other subject; but I can hardly believe that 
 any young person can be entirely without taste for 
 geographical knowledge. It is next to actual trav- 
 els ; and who does not delight m seeing new places 
 and new objects ? 
 
 2 . HISTORY. 
 
 Next in order as regards both interest and im- 
 portance, will be a knowledge of history, with 
 some attention at the same time to chronology. 
 Here, too, the starting point wdll be the same as in 
 the former case. Some circumstance or event 
 mentioned at the lyceum, or in the newspaper, 
 will excite curiosity, and lead the way to inquiry. 
 I tliink it well, however, to have but one leading 
 
212 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Illustration of the method proposed. Perseverance in if. 
 
 science in view at a time ; that is, if geography be 
 the object, let history and almost every thing else 
 be laid aside for that time, in order to secure, and 
 hold fast the geographical information which is 
 needed. After a few weeks or months, should he 
 wish to pursue history, let the student, for some 
 time confine himself chiefly, perhaps exclusively, 
 to that branch. 
 
 The natural order of commencing and pursuing 
 this branch without an instructor, and I think in 
 schools also, is the following. For example, you 
 take up a book, or it may be a newspaper, since 
 these are swarming every where at the present 
 time, and read that a person has just deceased, 
 who was at Yorktown, in Virginia, during the 
 whole siege, in the American revolution. I am 
 supposing here that you have already learned 
 where Yorktown is; for geography, to some extent 
 at least, should precede history ; but if not, I would 
 let it pass for the moment, since w^e cannot do 
 every thing at once, and proceed to inquire about 
 the siege, and revolution. If you have any books 
 whatever,, on history, within your reach, do not 
 give up the pursuit till you have attained a measure 
 of success. Find out, when the siege in question 
 happened, by whom, and by how many thousand 
 troops it was carried on ; and who and how many 
 the besieged were. 
 
 He who follows out this plan, will soon find his 
 mind reaching beyond the mere events alluded to 
 
STUDY OF HISTORY. 213 
 
 Farther illustrations. Ignorance at the present day, disgraceful. 
 
 in the newspaper, both forward and backward. 
 As in the exaniple already mentioned, for I cannot 
 think of a better ; — What were the consequences 
 of this siege ? — Did it help to bring about peace, 
 and how soon? — And did the two nations ever 
 engage in war afterward ? — If so, how soon, and 
 with what results ? What became of the French 
 troops and of the good La Fayette ? This would 
 lead to the study of French history for the last forty 
 years. On the other hand. Where had Washing- 
 ton and La Fayette and Cornwallis been employed, 
 previous to the siege of Yorktown? What battles 
 had they fought, and with what success? What 
 led to the quarrel between Great Britain and the 
 United States ? &c. Thus we should naturally go 
 backward, step by step, until we should get much 
 of modern history clustered round this single event 
 of the siege of Yorktown. The same course 
 should be pursued in the case of any other event, 
 •iither ancient or modern. If newspapers are not 
 thus read, they dissipate the mind, and probably do 
 about as much harm as good. 
 
 It is deemed disgraceful — and ought to be — 
 for any young man at this day to be ignorant of 
 the geography and history of the country in which 
 he lives. And yet it is no uncommon occurrence. 
 However it argues much against the excellence of 
 our systems of education, that almost every child 
 should be carried apparently through a wide range 
 of science, and over the whole material universe, 
 
214 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 
 
 Arithmetic. Its importance. An illustration. 
 
 and yet know nothing, or next to nothing, practi- 
 cally, of his own country. 
 
 3. ARITHMETIC. 
 
 No young man is excusable who is destitute 
 of a knowledge of Arithmetic. It is probable, 
 however, that no individual will read this book, 
 who has not some knowledge of the fundamental 
 branches; numeration, addition, subtraction, mul- 
 tiplication, and division. But with these, every 
 person has the key to a thorough acquaintance 
 with the whole subject, so far as his situation in 
 life requires. To avail himself of these keys to 
 mathematical knowledge, he must pursue a course 
 not unlike that which I have recommended in re- 
 lation to geography and history. He must seize 
 on every circumstance which occurs in his read- 
 ing, where reckoning is required, and if possible, 
 stop at once and compute it. Or if not, let the 
 place be marked, and at the first leisure moment, 
 Jet him turn to it, and make the estimates. 
 
 Suppose he reads of a shipwreck. The crew is 
 said to consist of thirty men besides the captain 
 and mate, \vith three hundred and thirteen passen- 
 gers, and a company of sixty grenadiers. The cap- 
 tain and mate, and ten of the crew escaped in the 
 long boat. The rest were drowned, except twelve 
 of the grenadiers, who clung to a floating fragment 
 of the wreck till they were taken off by another 
 vessel. Now is there a single person in existence, 
 
Study of arithmetic. 215 
 
 On making arithmetic practical. Value of chemistry. 
 
 who would read such an account, without being 
 anxious to know how many persons in the whole 
 were lost ? Yet nine readers in ten w'ould not know ; 
 and why ? Simply because they will not stop to use 
 what little addition and subtraction they possess. 
 
 I do not say that, in reading to a company, who 
 did not expect it, a young man would be required 
 to stop and make the computation ; but I do say 
 that in all ordinary cases, no person is excusable 
 who omits it, for it is a flagrant wrong to his own 
 mind. Long practice, it is true, will render it un- 
 necessary for an individual to pause, in order to 
 estimate a sum like that abovementioned. Many, 
 indeed most persons who are familar with figures, 
 might compute these numbers while reading, and 
 without the slightest pause ; but it certainly re- 
 quires some practice. And the most important 
 use of arithmetical studies (except as a discipline 
 to the mind) is to enable us to reckon without 
 slates and pencils. He has but a miserable know- 
 ledge of arithmetic, who is no arithmetician with- 
 out a pen or pencil in his hand. These are but the 
 ladders upon which he should ascend to the science, 
 and not the science itself. 
 
 4. CHEMISTRY AND OTHER NATURAL SCIENCES. 
 
 If I were to name one branch, as more impor- 
 tant to a young man than any other, — next to the 
 merest elements of reading and writing — it would 
 be chemistry. Not a mere smattering of it, how- 
 
216 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Chemistry for farmers. Botany. Natural History. Geography. 
 
 ever ; for this usually does about as much harm as 
 good. But a thorough knowledge of a few of the 
 simple elements of bodies, and some of their mosn 
 interesting combinations, such as are witnessed every 
 day of our lives, but which, for want of a little know 
 ledge of chemistry, are never understood, would 
 do more to interest a young man in the business in 
 which he may be employed, than almost any thing 
 I could name. For there is hardly a single trade 
 or occupation whatever, that does not embrace a 
 greater or less number of chemical processes. Che- 
 mistry is of very high importance even to the gar- 
 dener and the farmer. 
 
 There are several other branches which come 
 under the general head of Natural Science, 
 which I recommend to your attention. Such are 
 Botany, or a knowledge of plants ; Natural His- 
 tory, or a knowledge of animals ; and Geology, 
 or a general knowledge of the rocks and stones of 
 which the earth on which we live is composed. 1 
 do not think these are equally important with the 
 knowledge of chemisty, but they are highly in- 
 teresting, and by no means without their value. 
 
 5. grammar and composition. 
 
 The foundation of a knowledge of Grammar is, 
 in my view. Composition ; and composition, whe- 
 ther learned early or late, is best acquh*ed by letter 
 writing. This habit, early commenced, and judi- 
 ciously but perseveringly followed, will in time, 
 
GRAMMAR AND COMPOSITION. Sl7 
 
 Practical grammarians. Composition. Epistolary correspondence 
 
 ensure the art not only of composing well, but also 
 grammatically* I know this position is sometimes 
 doubted, but the testimony is so strong, that thd 
 point seems to me fully established. 
 
 It is related in Ramsay’s Life of Washington^ 
 that many individuals, whOj before the war of the 
 American Revolution, could scarcely write their 
 names, became, in the progress of that war, able to 
 compose letters which were not only intelligible 
 and correct, but which would have done credit to 
 a profound grammarian. The reason of this un- 
 doubtedly was, that they were thrown into situa- 
 tions where they were obliged to write much and 
 often, and in such a manner as to be clearly under- 
 stood. Perhaps the misinterpretation of a single 
 doubtful word or sentence might have been the 
 ruin of an army, or even of the causCi Thus they 
 had a motive to write accurately ; and long prac^ 
 tice, with a powerful motive before them, render-^ 
 ed them successful. 
 
 Nor is it necessary that motives so pov^^erftil 
 should always exist, in order to produce this re- 
 sult; — it is sufticient that there be a motive to 
 write well, and to persevere in writing well. I have 
 known several pedlars and traders, whose business 
 led to the same consequences. 
 
 6. LETTER WRITING. 
 
 But what I have seen most successful, is, the 
 practice of common letter writing, from friend W 
 19 
 
218 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Study of Grammar at school useful, though not indispensable. 
 
 friend, on any topic which happened to occur, either 
 ordinary, or extraordinary ; with the mutual under- 
 standing and desire that each should criticise freely 
 on the other’s composition. I have known more 
 than one individual, who became a good writer from 
 this practice, with little aid from grammatical rules ; 
 and without any direct instruction at all. 
 
 These remarks are not made to lessen the value 
 which any young man may have put upon the 
 studies of grammar and composition, as pursued in 
 our schools; but rather to show that a course at 
 school is not absolutely indispensable; and to en- 
 courage those who are never likely to enjoy the 
 latter means, to make use of means not yet out of 
 their reach, and which have often been successful 
 But lest there should be an apparent contradiction 
 in some of my remarks, it will be necessary to say 
 that I think the practice of familiar letter writing, 
 from our earliest years, even at school, should, 
 in every instance, have a much more prominent 
 place than is usually assigned it ; and the study of 
 books on Grammar and Composition one much 
 less prominent. 
 
 7 . VOYAGES, TRAVELS, AND BIOGRAPHY* 
 
 For mere reading, well selected Voyages and 
 Travels are among the best works for young men ; 
 particularly for those who find little taste for read- 
 ing, and wish to enkindle it ; and whose geograph- 
 ical knowledge is deficient. 
 
BIOGRAPHY, NOVELS, &C. 219 
 
 Study of Biography. Are novels useful ? 
 
 Well written biography is next in importance, 
 and usually so in interest; and so improving to 
 the character is this species of composition, that it 
 really ought to be regarded as a separate branch of 
 education, as much as history or geography; and 
 treated accordingly. In the selection of both these 
 species of writing the aid of an intelligent, expe- 
 rienced and judicious friend would be of very great 
 service ; and happy is he who has such a treasure 
 at hand. 
 
 8. NOVELS. 
 
 As to NOVELS it is difficult to say what advice 
 ought to be given. At first view they seem unne- 
 cessary, wholly so ; and from this single considera- 
 tion. They interest and improve just in proportion 
 as the fiction they contain is made to resemble 
 reality ; and hence it might be inferred, and natu- 
 rally enough, too, that reality would in all cases be 
 preferable to that which imitates it. But to this it 
 may be replied, that we have few books of narra- 
 tive and biography, which are written with so 
 much spirit as some works of fiction ; and that 
 until those departments are better filled, fiction, 
 properly selected, should be admissible. But if fic- 
 tion be allowable at all, it is only under the guid- 
 ance of age and experience; — and here there is 
 even a more pressing need of a friend than in the 
 cases already mentioned. 
 
 On the whole, it is believed to be better for 
 
g20 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Jf not, why f Influence of newspapers. Their benefits. 
 
 young men who have little leisure for reading, and 
 who wish to make the most they can of that little, 
 to abandon novels wholly. If they begin to read 
 them, it is difficult to tell to what an excess they 
 may go ; but if they never read one in their whole 
 lives, they will sustain no great loss. Would not 
 the careful study of a single chapter of Watts’s Im- 
 provement of the Mind, be of more real practical 
 value than the perusal of all that the best novel 
 writers, — Walter Scott not excepted, — have ever 
 writteu ? 
 
 9 . OF NEWSPAPERS. 
 
 Among other means both of mental and moral 
 Improvement at the present day, are periodical 
 publications, The multiplicity and cheapness of 
 these sources of knowledge renders them acces- 
 sible to all classes of the community. And though 
 their influence were to be as evil as the frogs of 
 Egypt we could not escape it. 
 
 Doubtless they produce much evil, though their 
 tendency on the whole is believed to be salutary. 
 But wisdom is necessary, in order to derive the 
 greatest amount of benefit from them; and here, 
 perhaps, more than any where else, do the young 
 need the counsels of experience. I am not about 
 to direct vs^hat particular newspapers and maga^ 
 zines they ought to read; this is a point which 
 their friends and relatives must assist them in de- 
 termining. My purpose is simply to point to a few 
 
OF NEWSPAPERS. 
 
 221 
 
 Several rules for selecting a newspaper. 
 
 principles which should guide both the young and 
 those who advise them, in making the selection. 
 
 1. In the first place, do not seek for your guide 
 a paper which is just commencing its existence, 
 unless you have reason to think the character of 
 its conductors is such as you approve. 
 
 2. Avoid, unless your particular occupation re- 
 quires it, a business paper. Otherwise your head 
 will become so full of ‘ arrivals ’ and ‘ departures,’ 
 and ‘ prices current,’ and ‘ news,’ that you will hard- 
 ly find room for any thing else. 
 
 3. Do not take a paper which dwells on nothing 
 but the details of human depravity. It will indeed, 
 for a time, call forth a sensibility to the woes of 
 mankind ; but the final result will probably be a 
 stupidity and insensibility to human suffering which 
 you would give much to remove. 
 
 4. Avoid those papers which, awed by the cry 
 for short and light articles, have rendered their 
 pages mere columns of insulated facts or useless 
 scraps, or what is still worse, of unnatural and sick- 
 ening love stories. 
 
 Lastly, do not take a paper which sneers at re- 
 ligion. It is quite enough that many periodicals 
 do, in effect, take a course which tends to irreli- 
 gion, by leaving this great subject wholly out of 
 sight. But when they openly sneer at and ridicule 
 the most sacred things, leave them at once. ‘ Evil 
 communications coiTupt’ the best ‘manners;’ and 
 though the sentiment may not at once be received^ 
 19 =*^ 
 
Q22 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE 
 
 Amazing influence of newspapers. Study of politics, 
 
 I can assure wy youthful readers that there are no 
 publications which have more direct effect upon 
 their lives, than these unpretending companions; 
 and perhaps the very reason is because we least 
 puspect them. Agauist receiving deep or perma- 
 nent impressions from the Bible, the sermon, or the 
 boo^ of any kind, we are on our watch, but who 
 thinks of having his principles contaminated, or 
 affected much in any way, merely by the news- 
 paper? Yet I am greatly mistaken, if these very 
 monitors do not have more influence, after all, in 
 forming the minds, the manners, and the morals 
 (shall I add, the religious character^ even ? ) of the 
 rising generation, than all the other means which 1 
 have mentioned, put together. 
 
 How important, in this view, it becomes, that 
 your newspaper reading should be well selected, 
 Let me again repeat the request, that in selecting 
 those papers which sustain an appropriate charac-? 
 ter, you will seek the advice of those whom you 
 deem most able and judicious ; and so far as you 
 think them disinterested, and worthy of your con^ 
 fidence, endeavor to follow it. 
 
 Politics, As to the study of politics, in the usual 
 sense of the term, it certainly (jgnnot be advisable. 
 Nothing appears to me more disgusting than to see 
 young men rushing into the field of political war- 
 fare, and taking sides as fiercely as if they laid claim 
 to infallibility, where their fatliers and grandfather^ 
 piodestly confess ignorance, 
 
OF NEWSPAPERS. 
 
 223 
 
 Ignorance on some points. 
 
 Wholly inexcusable. 
 
 At the same time, in a government like ours, 
 where the highest offices are in the gift of the peo- 
 ple, and within the reach of every young man of 
 tolerable capacity, it would be disgraceful not to 
 study the history and constitution of our own 
 country, and closely to watch all legislative move- 
 ments, at least in the councils of the nation. The 
 time is not far distant, it is hoped, when these 
 will be made every day subjects in our elemen- 
 tary schools; and when no youth will arrive at 
 manhood, as thousands, and, I Vv^as going to say, 
 millions now do, without understanding clearly a 
 single article in the Constitution of the United 
 States, or even in that of the State in which he 
 resides: nor even how his native state is repre- 
 sented in Congress. 
 
 Again, most young men will probably, sooner or 
 later, vote for rulers in the town, state, and nation 
 to which they belong. Should they vote at random ? 
 Or what is little better, take their opinions upon 
 trust ? Or shall they examine for themselves ; and 
 go to the polls with their eyes open ? At a day like 
 the present, nothing appears to me more obvious 
 than that young men ought to understand what 
 they are doing when they concern themselves with 
 publBJnCii or public measures. 
 
 10 . KEEPING A JOURNAL. 
 
 ^ I have already spoken of the importance df let- 
 ter writing. The keeping of a journal is scarc&y 
 
224 THE YOUNG MANS GUIDE. 
 
 Keeping a journal. Specimen. A better method . 
 
 less SO, provided it be done in a proper manner. 
 I have seen journals, however, which, aside from 
 the fact that they improve the handwritings and 
 encourage method, could have been of very little 
 use. A young agriculturist kept a journal for many 
 years, of which the following is a specimen. 
 
 1813. 
 
 July 2. Began our haying. Mowed in the fore- 
 noon, and raked in the afternoon. 
 Weather good. 
 
 3. Continued haying. Mowed. Got in 
 
 one load. Cloudy. 
 
 4. 'Independence. Went, in the afternoon, 
 
 to . 
 
 5. Stormy. Did nothing out of doors. 
 
 This method of keeping a journal was continued 
 for many years ; and only discontinued, because it 
 was found useless. A better and more useful sort 
 of journal for these four days, would have read 
 something like the following. 
 
 1813. 
 
 July 2. Our haying season commenced. How 
 fond I am of this employments^ How 
 useful an article hay is, too, esjpcially 
 in this climate, during our long and 
 cold winters! We have fine weather 
 to begin with, and I hope it will coi>- 
 tinue. 
 
KEEPING A JOURNAL. 
 
 225 
 
 Continuation of the subject of keeping journals. 
 
 I think a very great improvement 
 might be made in our rakes. Why 
 need they be so heavy for light rak- 
 mg? We could take up the heavier 
 ones when it became necessary, 
 
 July 3. To-day I have worked rather too hard 
 in order to get in some of our hay, for 
 there is a prospect of rain, I am not 
 quite sure, however, but I hurt myself 
 more by drinking too much cold wa- 
 ter than by over-working. Will try to 
 do better to-morrow. 
 
 4. Have heard a few cannon fired, and a 
 spouting oration delivered, and seen a 
 few toasts drank ; and what does it all 
 amount to ? Is this way of keeping the 
 day of independence really useful? I 
 doubt it. Who knows but the value of 
 the wine which has been drank, ex- 
 pended among the poor, would have 
 done more towards real independence, 
 than all this parade ? 
 
 5 Rainy. Would it not have been better 
 had I staid at home yesterday, while 
 the weather was fair, and gone on with 
 haying ? Several acres of father’s grass 
 want cutting very much. I am more 
 and more sick of going to indepenr 
 dence. If I live till another year, I 
 hope I shall learn to ‘ make hay whilq 
 tlie sun shines.’ 
 
2*26 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Carrying a blank book and pencil. 
 
 Its use. 
 
 1 selected a common agricultural employment 
 to illustrate my subject, first, because I suppose a 
 considerable proportion of my readers are farmers, 
 and secondly, because it is an employment which 
 is generally supposed to furnish little or nothing 
 worth recording. The latter, however, is a great 
 mistake. Besides writing down the real incidents 
 that occur, many of which would be interesting, 
 and some of them highly important facts, the 
 thoughts, which the circumstances and incidents 
 of an agricultural life are calculated to elicit, are 
 innumerable. And these should always be put 
 down. They are to the mere detail of facts and 
 occurrences, what leaves and fruit are to the dry 
 trunk and naked limbs of a tree. The above spe- 
 cimen is very dry indeed, being intended only as a 
 hint. Pages, instead of a few lines, might some- 
 times be written, when our leisure permitted, and 
 thoughts flowed freely. 
 
 One useful method of improving the mind, and 
 preparing ourselves for usefulness, would be, to 
 carry a small blank book and pencil in our pockets, 
 and when any interesting fact occurred, embrace 
 the first spare moment to put it down, say on the 
 right hand page ; and either then, or at some 
 future time, place on the left hand page, our own 
 reflections about it. Some of the most useful men 
 in the world owe much of their usefulness to a 
 plan lilte this, pmmptly and perseveringly followed. 
 
PRESERVATION OF BOOKS. 
 
 227 
 
 Care of books. Cleanliness An anecdote. 
 
 Quotations from books or papers might also be 
 preserved in the same manner. * 
 
 Perhaps it may be thought, at first, that this ad- 
 vice is not in keeping with the caution formerly 
 given, not to read as we travel about ; but if you 
 reflect, you will find it otherwise. Reading as we 
 travel, and at meals, and the recording of facts and 
 thoughts which occur, are things as different as 
 can well be conceived. The latter creates and 
 encourages a demand for close observation, the 
 former discourages and even suppresses it. 
 
 1 ]. PRESERVATION OF BOOKS AND PAPERS. 
 
 Let books be covered as soon as bought. Never 
 use them without clean hands. They show the 
 dirt with extreme readiness, and it is not easily 
 removed. I have seen books in which might be 
 traced the careless thumbs and fingers of the last 
 reader, for half a dozen or a dozen pages in suc- 
 cession. 
 
 I have known a gentleman — quite a literary 
 man, too — who, having been careful of his books 
 in his earlier years, and having recently found 
 them occasionally soiled, charged the fault on those 
 who occasionally visited his library. At last he 
 discovered that the coal dust (for he kept a coal fire) 
 
 * Some persons always read with a pen or pencil in hand, 
 and when a thought occurs, note it in a little book, kept 
 for the purpose. 
 
228 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE* 
 
 Preservation of books continued. Numerous odd liaoits. 
 
 settled on liis hands, and was rubbed off upon his 
 book leaves by the slight friction of his fingers upon 
 the leaves in reading. 
 
 Never wet your finger or thumb in order to turn 
 over leaves. Many respectable people are addicted 
 to this habit, but it is a vulgar one* Besides, it is 
 entirely useless. The same remarks might be ap^ 
 plied to the habit of suffering the corners of the 
 leaves to turn up, in ‘ dog’s ears.’ Keep every leaf 
 smooth, if you can. Never hold a book very near 
 the fire, nor leave it in the hot sun. It injures its 
 cover materially, and not a few books are in one or 
 both of these ways entirely ruined. 
 
 It is a bad practice to spread out a book with the 
 back upwards. It loosens the leaves, and also 
 exposes it in other respects. You will rarely find 
 a place to lay it do\vn which is entirely clean, and 
 the least dust on the leaves, is readily observed. 
 
 The plan of turning down a leaf to enable us to 
 remember the place, I never liked. It indulges 
 the memory in laziness. For myself, if I take 
 much interest in a book, I can remember where I 
 left off, and turn at once to the place without a 
 mark. If a mark must be used at all, however, a 
 slip of paper, or a piece of tape or ribbon is the 
 best. 
 
 When you have done usmg a book for the time, 
 have a place for it, and put it in its place. How 
 tnuch time and patience might be saved if this rule 
 Were universally followed ! Many find it the easiest 
 
PRESERVATION OF BOOKS. 229 
 
 Legitimate use of books. Common aouses] 
 
 thing in the w^orld to have a place for every book in 
 their library, and to keep it in its place. They can 
 put their hands upon it in the dark, almost as well 
 as in the light. 
 
 Never allow yourselves to use books for any 
 other purpose but reading. I have seen people 
 recline after dinner and at other times, with books 
 under their heads for a pillow. Others will use them 
 to cover a tumbler, bowl, or pitcher. Others again 
 will raise the window, and set them under the sash 
 to support it ; and next, perhaps, the book is wet 
 by a sudden shower of rain, or knocked out of the 
 window, soiled or otherwise injured, or lost. 1 
 have seen people use large books, such as the 
 family-bible, or encyclopedia, to raise a seat, es- 
 pecially for a child at table. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 Social anu i^Joral Kmprobement. 
 
 Section I. Of Female Society, in general. 
 
 No young man is fully aware how much he is 
 indebted to female influence in forming his charac- 
 ter. Happy for him if his mother and sisters were 
 his principal companions in infancy. I do not 
 mean to exclude the society of the father, of course ; 
 but the father’s avocations usually call him away 
 from home, or at least from the immediate presence 
 of his children, for a very considerable proportion 
 of his time. 
 
 It would be easy to show, without the possibility 
 of mistake, that it is those young men who are shut 
 out either by accident or design, from female so- 
 ciety, that most despise it. And on this account, I 
 cannot but regret the su[)posed necessity which 
 prevails of having separate schools for the two 
 sexes; unless it ^v^ere professional ones — I mean 
 for the study of law, medicine, &c. There is yet 
 too much practical Mohammedanism and Paganism 
 in our manner of educating the young. 
 
 If we examine the character and conduct of 
 
FEMALE SOCIETY. 
 
 S31 
 
 ’ Influence of woman. Folly of overlooking it. 
 
 woman as it now is, and as history shows it to 
 have been in other periods of the world, we shall 
 see that much of the good and evil which has fallen 
 upon mankind has been through her influence. 
 We may see that man has often been influenced 
 directly by the soft warning words, or the still more 
 powerful weapons — tears — of woman, to do that 
 to which whole legions of soldiers never could 
 have driven him. 
 
 Now the same influence which is exerted by 
 •mothers and wives is also exerted, in a smaller de- 
 gree, by sisters ; and indeed by the female sex gen- 
 erally. When, therefore, I find a young man pro- 
 fessing a disregard for their society, or frequent- 
 ing only the worst part of it, I always expect to 
 find in him a soul which would not hesitate long, 
 in the day of temptation, to stoop to vicious if not 
 base actions. Who would despise the fountain at 
 which he is refreshed daily? Above all, who 
 would willingly contaminate it? But how much 
 better than this is it to show by our language, as 
 well as deeds, that we hold this portion of the 
 world in disdain ; and only meet with them, if we 
 meet them at all, to comply with custom, or for 
 purposes still more unworthy; instead of seeking 
 their society as a means of elevating and ennobling 
 the character? 
 
 When, therefore, a young man begins to affect 
 the toil, and to utter sarcasms against the female 
 character, it may be set down as a mark, either of 
 
232 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Mistake of certain young men. Influences. 
 
 a weak head, or a base heart ; for it cannot be good 
 sense or gratitude, or justice, or honorable feeling 
 of any kind. There are indeed nations, it is said, 
 where a boy, as soon as he puts off the dress of a 
 child, beats his mother, to show his manhood. 
 These people live in the interior of Africa, and 
 there let them remain. Let us be careful that we 
 do not degrade the sex, in the same manner, by 
 disrespectful language, or actions, or thoughts. We 
 should ‘ think no evil,’ on this subject ; for let 
 it never be forgotten, that our own happiness and 
 elevation of character must ever be in exact propor- 
 tion to that of females. Degrade them, and we de- 
 grade ourselves; neglect to raise their moral and 
 intellectual condition as much as possible, and you 
 neglect the readiest and most certain means of 
 promotmg, in the end, your own comfort and hap- 
 piness. 
 
 If any of your elder associates defame the sex, 
 you can hardly be mistaken when you suspect 
 them of having vitiated their taste for what is ex- 
 cellent in human character by improper intimacies, 
 or still more abominable vices. The man who 
 says he has never found a virtuous female charac- 
 ter, you may rely upon it, cannot himself be vir- 
 tuous. 
 
 In civilized society much of our time must 
 necessarily be spent among females. These asso- 
 ciations will have influence upon us. Either they 
 are perpetually improving our character, or, on 
 
FEMALE SOCIETY. 233 
 
 Habitual society of females. Its salutary effects. Protection. 
 
 the other hand, by increasing our disregard or 
 disgust, debasing it. Is it not wisdom, then, to 
 make what we can of the advantages and oppor- 
 tunities which their society affords us 
 
 The very presence of a respectable female will 
 often restrain those from evil whose hearts are full 
 of it. It is not easy to talk or to look obscenely, or 
 even to behave with rudeness and ill manners un- 
 der such restraint. Who has not seen the jarring 
 and discordant tones of a company of rude men 
 and boys hushed at once by the sudden arrival of 
 a lady of (Jignified manners and appearance ? 
 
 The frequent, the habitual society of one v/hom 
 a youth respects, must have a happy tendency to 
 make him love honorable conduct; and restrain 
 his less honorable feelings. Frequent restraint 
 tends to give the actual mastery; therefore every 
 approach towards this must be of great value. 
 There is a delicacy, too, in female society, which 
 serves well to check the boisterous, to tame the 
 brutal, and to embolden the timid. Whatever be 
 the innate character of a youth, it may be polished, 
 and exalted, by their approbation. He must be 
 unusually hardened that can come from some 
 shameful excess, or in a state of inebriety, into the 
 company of the ladies. 
 
 Sometimes a diffident youth has been taken un- 
 der the protection^ if it may be so called, of a con- 
 siderate and respectable woman. A woman of 
 proper dignity of manners and character, especiah 
 20 *- 
 
234 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Choice of female society. Friendship of a mother. 
 
 ly with a few years ’ advantage, can do this with- 
 out the least injury to herself, and without step- 
 ping a hair’s breadth beyond the bounds which 
 should surround her sex. Happy is the young 
 man who enjoys a fostering care so important; 
 he may learn the value of the sex ; learn to dis- 
 criminate among them, to esteem many of them, 
 and prize their approbation ; and in time, deserve 
 it. It is obvious that the favor of silly, flirting 
 girls, (and there are some such) is not what I am 
 here recommending. 
 
 Where the character of such society is pure, 
 where good sense, cultivation, intellect, modesty, and 
 superior age, distinguish the parties, it is no small 
 honor to a young man to enjoy it. Should he be 
 conscious that epithets of a different and of a con- 
 trary quality belong to them, it is no honor to him 
 to be their favorite. He must be like them, in 
 some degree, or they would not approve him. 
 
 Section II. Advice and Friendship of Mothers, 
 
 When you seek female society for the sake of 
 improvement, it is proper you should begin where 
 nature begun with you. You have already been 
 encouraged to respect your mother; I go a step 
 farther; and say. Make her your friend. Unless 
 your own misconduct has already been very great, 
 she will not be so far estranged from you, as not to 
 rejoice at the opportunity of bestowing that atten- 
 
ADVICE OF MOTHERS. 235 
 
 Her tact in discriminating character. Never despise her opinion. 
 
 tion to you which the warmest wishes for your 
 welfare would dictate. If your errors have^ on the 
 contrary, created a wide distance between you, 
 endeavor to restore the connection as soon as pos- 
 sible. I do not undervalue a father’s counsel and 
 guidance ; yet however excellent his judgment 
 may be, your mother’s opinion is not only a help 
 to your own ; but as a ivoman^s, it has its peculiar 
 character, and may have its appropriate value. 
 Women sometimes see at a glance, what a man 
 must go round through a train of argument to 
 discover. Their tact is delicate, and therefore 
 quicker in operation. Sometimes, it is true, their 
 judgment will not only be prompt, but premature, 
 jfour own judgment must assist you here. Do 
 not, however, proudly despise your mother’s; — 
 but examine it. It will generally well repay the 
 trouble; and the habit of consulting her will in- 
 crease habits of consideration, and self command; 
 and promote propriety of conduct. 
 
 If a mother be a woman of sense, why should 
 you not profit by her long exercised intelligence ? 
 Nay, should she even be deficient in cultivation, or 
 in native talent, yet her experience is something, 
 and her love for you will, in part, make up for such 
 deficiency. It cannot be worthiness to despise, 
 or wisdom to neglect your mother’s opinion. 
 
^36 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Elder sisters. Their influence. Learn to respect them. 
 
 Section III. Society of Sisters, 
 
 Have you a sister ? — Have you several of tliem ? 
 Then you are favorably situated ; especially if ono 
 of them is older than yourself. She has done 
 playing with dolls, and you with bats and balls. 
 She is more womanly ; her carriage becomes dig- 
 nified. Do not oblige her, by your boyish beha- 
 vior, to keep you at a distance. Try to deserve 
 the character of her friend. She will sometimes 
 look to you for little services, which require strength 
 and agility ; let her look up to you for judgment, 
 steadiness, and counsel too. You may be mutual- 
 ly beneficial. Your affection, and your intertwin- 
 ing interest in each other’s welfare, will hereby be 
 much increased. 
 
 A sister usually present, is that sort of second 
 conscience, which, like the fairy ring, in an old 
 story, pinches the wearer whenever he is doing 
 any thing amiss. Without occasioning so much 
 awe as a mother, or so much reserve as a stranger, 
 her sex, her affection, and the familiarity between 
 you will form a compound of no small value in 
 itself, and of no small influence, if you duly re- 
 gard it, upon your growing character. Never for 
 one moment suppose that a good joke at which a 
 sister blushes, or turns pale, or even looks anxious. 
 If you should not at first perceive what there is 
 in it which is amiss, it will be well worth you4' 
 
SOCIETY OF SISTERS. 237 
 
 Common civilities. Their advantages, even to yourself. 
 
 while to examine all over again. Perhaps a sin- 
 gle glance of her eye will explain your incon- 
 siderateness; and as you value consistency and 
 propriety of conduct, let it put you on your guard. 
 
 There is a sort of attention due to the sex which 
 is best attained by practising at home. Your 
 mother may sometimes require this attention, your 
 sisters still oftener. Do not require calling, or teas- 
 ing, or even persuading to go abroad with them 
 when their safety, their comfort, or their respecta- 
 bility require it. It is their due ; and stupid or un- 
 kind is he who does not esteem it so. In perform- 
 ing this service, you are only paying a respect 
 to yourself. Your sister could, indeed, come home 
 alone, but it would be a sad reflection on you 
 were she obliged to do so. Accustom yourselfj 
 then, to wait upon her; it will teach you to wait 
 upon others by and by; and in the meantime, it 
 will give a gi'aceful polish to your character. 
 
 It will be well for you, if your sisters have 
 young friends whose acquaintance with them may 
 bring you sometimes into their society. The 
 familiarity allowable with your sisters, though it 
 may well prepare you to show suitable attention to 
 other ladies, yet has its disadvantages. You need 
 sometimes to have those present who may keep 
 you still more upon your guard ; and render your 
 manners and attention to them still more respect- 
 ful 
 
S38 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 
 
 Avoid extremes. Too great intimacy. Its evils. 
 
 Section IV. General Remarks and Advice. 
 
 Never seek, then, to avoid respectable female 
 society. Total privation has its dangers, as well 
 as too great intimacy. One of the bad results of 
 such a privation, is, that you run the risk of be 
 coming attached to unworthy objects because they 
 first fall in your way. Human nature is ever in 
 danger of perversion. Those passions which God 
 has given you for the wisest and noblest purposes 
 may goad you onward, and, if they do not prove 
 the occasion of your destruction in one way, they 
 may in another. If you should be preserved in 
 solitude, you will not be quite safe abroad. Hav- 
 ing but a veiy imperfect conception of the different 
 shades of character among the sex, you will be 
 ready to suppose all are excellent who appear fair 
 and all good who appear gentle. 
 
 I have alluded to the dangers of too great inti- 
 macy. Nothing here advanced is intended to 
 make you a mere trifler, or to sink the dignity of 
 your own sex. Although you are to respect fe- 
 males because of their sex, yet there are some who 
 bestow upon them a species of attention extremely 
 injurious to themselves, and unpleasant and de- 
 grading to all sensible ladies. 
 
 There is still another evil sometimes resulting 
 from too great intimacy. It is that you lead the 
 other party to mistake your object. This mistake 
 
GENERAL REMARKS. 
 
 Word of caution to young men. Guard over the thoughts. 
 
 is easily made. It is not necessary, to this erid, 
 that you should make any professions of attach- 
 ment, in word or deed. Looks, nay even some- 
 thing less than this, though it may be difficult to 
 define it, may indicate that sort of preference for 
 the society of a lady, that has sometimes awakened 
 an attachment in her which you never suspected 
 or intended. Or what is a far less evil, since it falls 
 chiefly on yourself, it may lead her and others to 
 ridicule you for what they suppose to be the result, 
 on your part, of intention. 
 
 Let me caution you, then, if you would obey the 
 golden rule of doing to others as you would wish 
 others should do to you, in the same circumstances, 
 and if you value, besides this, your own peace, to 
 beware of injuring those whom you highly esteem, 
 by leading them by words, looks, or actions, to that 
 misapprehension of your meaning which may be 
 the means of planting thorns in their bosoms, if not 
 in your own. 
 
 There is another error to which I wish to call 
 your attention, in this place, although it might 
 more properly be placed under the head. Seduction, 
 I allude to the error of too great familiarity with 
 others, after your heart is already pledged to a 
 particular favorite. Here, more, if possible, than 
 in the former case, do you need to set a guard over 
 all your ways, words, and actions ; and to resolve, 
 in the strength, and with the aid of Divine grace, 
 that you will never deviate from that rule of con- 
 
^0 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Avoid anglers. Triflers. The artful and manoeuvring. 
 
 duct toward others, — which Divine Goodness has 
 given, as the grand text to the book of human duty. 
 
 The general idea presented in the foregoing sec- 
 tions, of what a woman ought to be, is sufficient to 
 guide you, with a little care in the application. 
 Such as are forward, soon become tedious. Their 
 character is what no man of taste will bear. Some 
 are even anglers, aiming to catch gudgeons by every 
 look; placing themselves in attitudes to allure the 
 vagrant eye. Against such it is quite unnecessary 
 that I should warn you ; they usually give you suf- 
 ficient notice themselves. The trifier can scarcely 
 amuse you for an evening. The company of a lady 
 who has nothing to say but what is commonplace, 
 whose inactive mind never for once stumbles upon 
 an idea of its own, must be dull, as a matter of 
 course. You can learn nothing from her, unless it 
 be the folly of a vacant mind. Come away, lest you 
 catch the same disorder. 
 
 The artful and manoeuvring, on the contrary, 
 will, at a glance, penetrate your inmost mind, and 
 become any thing which they perceive will be 
 agreeable to you. 
 
 Should your lot be cast where you can enjoy the 
 society of a few intelligent, agreeable, and respect- 
 able females, remember to prize the acquisition. 
 If you do not derive immense advantage from it, 
 the fault must be your own. If, in addition to the 
 foregoing qualifications, these female friends hap- 
 pen to have had a judicious and useful, rather than 
 
SOCIAL MEETINGS. 241 
 
 Beware of idolatry. Means of social improvement. 
 
 a merely polite education, your advantages are 
 doubly valuable. 
 
 The genial influence of such companions must 
 unavoidably be on the side of goodness and pro- 
 priety. Lovelines of mind will impart that agree- 
 ableness of person which recommends to the heart 
 every sentiment, gives weight to every argument, 
 justifies every opinion, and soothes to recollection 
 and recovery those who, were they reproved by 
 any other voice, might have risen to resistance, or 
 sunk into despair. The only necessary caution in 
 the case is, ‘Beware of idolatry.^ Keep yourself 
 clear from fascination, and call in the aid of your 
 severest judgment to keep your mind true to your- 
 self, and to principle. 
 
 Section V. Lyceums and other Social Meetings, 
 
 The course of my remarks has given occasion, 
 in several instances, to speak of the importance of 
 lyceums as a means of mental and social hnprove- 
 ment. It will not be necessary therefore, in this 
 place, to dwell, at lengthy on their importance. My 
 principal object will be to call your attention to 
 the subject in general, and urge it upon your con- 
 sideration. 1 hope no young person who reads 
 these pages, will neglect to avail himself of the ad- 
 vantages which a good tyceum affords ; or if there 
 are none of that character within his reach, let him 
 make unremitting efforts till one exists. 
 
 21 
 
THE TOtTNG man’s GUIDE. 
 
 Lyceums. Their importance. Proper subjects to bring before them. 
 
 Although these institutions are yet in then* in- 
 fancy, and could hardly have been expected to ac- 
 complish more w^ithin the same period than they 
 have, it is hoped they will not hereafter confine 
 their inquiries so exclusively to matters of mere 
 intellect, as has often been done. There are other 
 subjects nearer home, if I may so say, than these. 
 How strangely do mankind, generally, stretch their 
 thoughts and inquiries abroad to the concerns of 
 other individuals, states and nations, and forget them- 
 selves, and the objects and beings near by them, 
 and their mutual relations, connections, and depen- 
 dencies ! 
 
 Lyceums, when they shall have obtained a firm- 
 er footing among us, may become a most valuable 
 means of enlightening the mass of the community, 
 in regard to the structure and laws of the human 
 body, and its relation to surrounding objects ; of 
 discussing the philosophy of dress, and its different 
 materials for different seasons ; of food, and drink, 
 and sleep and exercise; of dwellings and other 
 buildings ; of amusements and employments ; — in 
 short, of the ten thousand Utile things, as many call 
 them, which go to make up human life, with its en- 
 joyments or miseries. These things have been sur- 
 prisingly overlooked by most men, for the sake of 
 attending to others, whose bearing on human hap- 
 piness, if not often questionable, is at least more 
 remote. 
 
 In some of our larger cities there are respectable 
 
MORAL INSTRUCTION. 243 
 
 Reading rooms. Libraries. Lectures. Moral improvement. 
 
 courses of useful lectures established during the 
 months of winter, and sometimes throughout the 
 year. Added to this are reading-rooms, and vari- 
 ous sorts of libraries, which are accessible for a 
 small sum, and sometimes for almost nothing. 
 There have been three valuable courses of Franklin 
 Lectures delivered in Boston, during the three last 
 winters, of twenty lectures each, for only fifty cents 
 a course. In most large towns, benevolent and 
 spirited individuals might establish something of 
 the same kind, at least every winter. 
 
 Section VI. Moral Instruction. 
 
 It was not my intention, at first, to say a single 
 word, directly, on the subject of religion, but I 
 should leave this chapter very incomplete indeed, 
 as well as do violence to my own feelings, should I 
 say nothing at all of Bible classes, and other means 
 of religious instruction, with which the age, and 
 especially this part of the country abounds, not only 
 on Sundays, but during the long evenings of leisure 
 which, for a part of the year, many young men 
 enjoy. 
 
 Viewed merely as a means of improving the 
 mindy and acquiring much authentic historical in- 
 formation to be found nowhere else, the study of 
 the Bible is a most valuable exercise, and ought to 
 be encouraged. To adults who labor, a walk to 
 church, and prompt attention to the Bible lesson, is 
 
^44 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Bible instruction. Matrimony to be kept in view. 
 
 happily adapted to the health of the body, no less 
 than to intellectual improvement; and whatever 
 objections might be urged against subjecting in- 
 fants and young children who attend other schools 
 during the week, to the present routine of Sabbath 
 instruction, I am quite sure that the class of young 
 persons for whom I am writing, would derive the 
 most lasting benefit from studymg the Bible. 
 
 I have made these remarks on the presumption 
 that they were to derive no moral improvement 
 from Bible instruction. However, I see not how 
 these schools can be long attended by ingenuous 
 mhids without inspiring a respect^ at the least, for 
 that book which is superior to all other books, and 
 for that religion which it inculcates ; which is above 
 all sect, and beyond all price. 
 
 Section VII. Of Female Society in reference to 
 Marriage. 
 
 It is now time to consider the subject of female 
 society in reference to matrimony. I shall find it 
 necessary, however, to make a division of my sub- 
 ject, reserving a more complete view of female quali- 
 fications for a succeeding chapter. 
 
 Whatever advice may be given to the contraiy 
 by friends or foes, it is my opinion that you ought 
 to keep mati’imony steadily in view. For this end, 
 were it for no other, you ought to mingle much in 
 society. Never consider yourself complete with- 
 
FEMALE SOCIETY. 245 
 
 Cautions. Honorable attachments. Anecdote of John Newton. 
 
 out this other half of yourself. It is too much the 
 fashion among young men at the present day to 
 make up their minds to dispense with marriage ; — 
 an unnatural, and therefore an unwise plan. Much 
 of our character, and most of our comfort and hap- 
 piness depend upon it. Many have found this out 
 too late ; that is, after age and fixed habits had partly 
 disqualified them for this important duty. 
 
 All that has been hitherto said of female influence 
 bears upon this point. According to the character 
 of the person you select, in a considerable degree, 
 will be your own. Should a mere face fascinate 
 you to a doll, you will not need much mental 
 energy to please her ; and the necessity of exertion 
 on this account being small, your own self will 
 sink, or at least not rise, as it otherwise might do. 
 
 But were I personally acquainted with 3mu, and 
 should I perceive an honorable attachment taking 
 possession of your heart, I should regard it as a 
 happy circumstance. Life then has an object. 
 The only thing to be observed is that it be managed 
 with prudence, honor, and good sense. 
 
 The case of John Newton is precisely in point. 
 In veiy early life this man formed a strong attach- 
 ment to a lady, under circumstances which did not 
 permit him to make it known ; which w’as probably 
 well for both parties. It did not diminish her hap- 
 piness, so long as she remained in ignorance on the 
 subject ; and in scenes of sorrow, suffering, and 
 temptation, the liope of one day obtaining her 
 
246 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Desire to marry. Its tendency to elevate the youthful character, 
 
 soothed him, and kept him from performing many 
 dishonorable actions. ‘The bare possibility,’ he 
 says, ‘of seeing her again, was the only obvious 
 means of restraining me from the most horrid de- 
 signs, against myself and others.’ 
 
 The wish to marry, if prudently indulged, will 
 lead to honest and persevering exertions to obtain 
 a reasonable income — one which will be satisfac- 
 tory to the object of your hopes, as well as to her 
 friends. He who is determined on living a single 
 life, very naturally contracts his endeavors to his 
 own narrow personal wants, or else squanders 
 freely, in the belief that he can always procure 
 enough to support himself. Indeed it cannot have 
 escaped even the careless observer that in propor- 
 tion as an individual relinquishes the idea of matri- 
 mony, just in the same proportion do his mind and 
 feelings contract. On the contrary, that hope which 
 aims at a beloved partner — a family — a fireside, — 
 will lead its possessor to activity in all his conduct. 
 It will elicit his talents, and urge them to their full 
 energy, and probably call in the aid of economy ; 
 a quality so indispensable to every condition of life. 
 The single consideration, ‘What would she think 
 were she now to see me ? ’ called up by the obtru- 
 sion of a favorite image, — how often has it stimu- 
 lated a noble mind and heart to deeds wdiich other- 
 wise had never been performed ! 
 
 I repeat it, I am aware that this advice is liable 
 to abuse. But what shall be done ? Images of 
 
FEMALE SOCIETY. 
 
 247 
 
 Zimmerman. 
 
 Female society a prevention of vice. 
 
 some sort will haunt the mind more or less — female 
 influence in some shape or other will operate. Is 
 it not better to give the imagination a virtuous di- 
 rection than to leave it to range without control, and 
 without end^ 
 
 I repeat it, nothing is better calculated to pre- 
 serve a young man from the contamination of low 
 pleasures and pursuits, than frequent intercourse 
 with the more refined and virtuous of the other sex. 
 Besides, without such society his manners can never 
 acquu*e the true polish of a gentleman, — general 
 character, dignity, and refinement;— nor his mind 
 and heart the truest and noblest sentiments of a 
 man. Make it an object then, I again say, to spend 
 some portion of every week of your life in the 
 company of intelligent and virtuous ladies. At all 
 events, flee solitude, and especially the exclusive 
 society of your own sex. The doctrines even of 
 Zimmerman, the great apostle of solitude, would 
 put to shame many young men, who seldom or 
 never mix in female society. 
 
 If you should be so unfortunate as not to have 
 among your acquaintance any ladies whose society 
 would, in these points of view, be profitable to 
 you, do not be in haste to mix with the ignorant 
 and vulgar ; but wait patiently till your own indus- 
 try and good conduct shall give you admission 
 to better circles; and in the meantime cultivate 
 your mind by reading and thinking, so that when 
 you actually gain admission to good society, you 
 
248 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Avoid sillines s. Flattery. Pedantry. Egotism. 
 
 may know how to prize and enjoy it. Remember, 
 too, that you are not to be so selfish as to think 
 nothing of contributing to the happiness of others. 
 It is blessed to give as well as to receive. 
 
 When you are in the company of ladies, beware 
 of silliness. It is true that they will sooner for- 
 give foolishness than ill manners, but you will, of 
 course, avoid both. I know one young gentle- 
 man of great promise, who adopted the opinion 
 that in order to qualify himself for female society, 
 he had only to become as foolish as possible, while 
 in their presence. That young man soon lost the 
 favor of all whose friendship might have operated 
 as a restraint ; but unwilling to associate with the 
 despicable, and unable to live in absolute solitude, 
 he chose the bottle for his companion ; and made 
 himself, and the few friends he had, miserable. 
 
 Nothing, unless it be the coarsest flattery, will 
 give more offence, in the end, than to treat ladies 
 as mere playthings or children. On the other hand, 
 do not become pedantic, and lecture them on dif- 
 ficult subjects. They readily see through all this. 
 Neither is it good manners or policy to talk much 
 of yourself. They can penetrate this also ; and they 
 despise the vanity which produces it. In detect- 
 ing deception, they ape often much quicker than 
 we apprehend. 
 
 A young gentleman, in one of the New England 
 States, who had assumed the chair of the peda- 
 gogue, paifl his addresses to the hpuptiful and sen? 
 
FEMALE SOCIETY. 249 
 
 An anecdote. Be modest and respectful. Female innocence. 
 
 sible daughter of a respectable farmer. One day, 
 as she was present in his school, he read to her a 
 hymn, which he said was from his own pen. Now 
 it was obvious to this lady, and even to some of 
 the pupils, that the hymn was none other than that 
 usually known by the name of the ‘ Harvest Hymn,’ 
 modified by the change of a few words only. How 
 much effect this circumstance might have had I 
 cannot say with certainty ; but I know it disgusted 
 one, at least, of the pupils ; and I know, too, that 
 his addresses to the lady were soon afterwards dis- 
 continued. 
 
 A young man who would profit from the society 
 of young ladies, or indeed from any society, must 
 preserve a modest and respectful spirit ; must seek 
 to conciliate their good will by quiet and unos- 
 tentatious attentions, and discover more willing- 
 ness to avail himself of their stock of information, 
 than to display his own knowledge or abilities. 
 
 He should observe, and learn to admire, that 
 purity and ignorance of evil, which is the charac- 
 teristic of well-educated young ladies, and which, 
 while we are near them, raises us above those sor- 
 did and sensual considerations which hold such 
 sway over men, in their intercourse with each other. 
 He should treat them as spirits of a purer sphere, 
 and try to be as innocent, if not as ignorant of evil 
 as they are ; remembering that there is no better 
 way of raising himself in the scale of intellectual 
 and moral being. But to whatever degree of in- 
 
250 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Proper topics of conversation. Studying the same book. 
 
 timacy he may arrive, he should never forget those 
 little acts of courtesy and kindness, as well as that 
 respect, and self-denial, which lend a charm to 
 every kind of polite intercourse, and especially to 
 that of which I am now speaking. 
 
 Whenever an opportunity occurs, however, it is 
 the duty of a young man to introduce topics of 
 conversation which are decidedly favorable to 
 mental and moral improvement. Should he hap- 
 pen to be attending to the same study, or reading 
 the same book with a female acquaintance, an ex- 
 cellent opportunity will be afforded for putting this 
 rule in practice. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 
 Section I. Why Matrimony is a Duty, 
 
 Matrimony is a subject of high importance and 
 interest. It is important^ because it was among 
 the earliest institutions of the great Creator; be- 
 cause it has always existed in some form or other, 
 and must continue to exist, or society cannot be 
 sustained ; and because in proportion as the ends 
 of the Creator are answered by its establishment, 
 just in the same proportion does the happiness of 
 society rise or fall. It points out the condition of 
 society in this respect as accurately as a thermome- 
 ter shows the temperature of the surrounding at- 
 mosphere. I might even go farther, and say, that 
 in proportion as the original and real ends of mar- 
 riage are answered, do the interests of religion also 
 rise or sink. * 
 
 This institution is peculiarly interesting from the 
 
 * Some of the topics of diis section have been anticipated, 
 in part, in a previous chapter; but their importance en- 
 titles them to a farther consideration. 
 
252 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Matrimony a school of instruction. Compared with other schools 
 
 fact that it involves so many items of human hap- 
 piness. We often speak of the value of friendship. 
 What friendship like that which results from a 
 happy union of the sexes ? We talk of education. 
 What school so favorable to improvement as the 
 domestic circle may be rendered? Whether we 
 consider education in a physical, mental or moral 
 point of view, all its plans are imperfect without 
 this. No man or woman is, as a general rule, fully 
 prepared for the humblest sphere of action on 
 earth, without the advantages which are peculiar 
 to this institution. Nor has any man done his 
 whole duty to God, who has left this subject out of 
 consideration. 
 
 It has sometimes been said, and with much truth, 
 that ^no unmarried person was ever thoroughly 
 and completely educated.’ It appears to me that 
 were we to consider the intellectual and physical 
 departments of •'education, merely, this would be 
 true ; but how much more so when we take in mo- 
 rals ? Parents, — teachers, — what are they ? Their 
 labors are indeed of infinite value, in themselves 
 considered ; but it is only in a state of matrimony, 
 it is only when we are called to the discharge of 
 those multiplied duties which are involved in the 
 endearing relations of husband, wife, parent and 
 guardian, that our characters are fully tested and 
 established. Late in life as these relations com- 
 mence, the cu'cumstances which they involve are 
 so peculiar that they modify the character of the 
 
WHY MATRIMONY IS A YUTY. 253 
 
 Permanency of the teachers. Early marriages. 
 
 parties inuch more than has usually been consid^ 
 ered. 
 
 I am fond, therefore, of contemplating the mar- 
 ried state as a school; — not merely for a short 
 termj but for life; — not one whose teachers are 
 liable to be changed once or twice a year to the 
 great disadvantage of all who are concerned, but 
 whose instructors are as permanent as the school 
 itself. It is true, that like other schools, it may 
 result in the formation of bad character; but in 
 proportion to its power to accomplish either good 
 or bad results^ will be its value, if wisely improved^ 
 It is not to be denied that this viev/ of the sub- 
 ject is in favor of early marriage. And I can truly 
 say, indeed, that every thing considered, early mar- 
 riage does appear to me highly desirable* And it 
 would require stronger arguments than any which 
 I have yet seen adduced, even by some of our 
 political economists, to make me surrender this 
 opinion. 
 
 The only serious objection, of a popular kind, 
 to early marriage, arises from the difficulty of sup- 
 porting a family. But the parties themselves must 
 be supported at all events, whether married or 
 
 single. ‘ But the consequences ’ And what 
 
 are the consequences ? An earlier family, indeed ; 
 but not of necessity a larger. I believe that facts 
 will bear me out in stating that the sum total of 
 the progeny of every thousand families who com- 
 mence at from twenty-five to thhty, is as great m 
 22 
 
254 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 
 
 Facts in relation to early marriages. Some painful cases. 
 
 tliat of one thousand who begin at from twenty to 
 twenty -five. I have even seen pretty large families 
 where the eldest was thirty-five years younger than 
 both the parents ; and one or two instances of nu- 
 merous families where marriage did not take place 
 till the age of forty. Physiologists have long ob- 
 served this singular fact, and it has sometimes been 
 explained by saying, if indeed it be an explanation, 
 that Nature, in these cases, unwilling to be cheated 
 out of her rights, endeavors to make up in energy 
 and activity what has been lost in time. 
 
 The question, however, will recur, whether fam- 
 ilies, though equally large, cannot be better main- 
 tained when marriage is deferred to a later period. 
 And it certainly is a question of immense impor- 
 tance. For nothing is more painful than to see 
 large families, whose parents, whether young or 
 more advanced, have not the means of educating 
 them properly. It is also not a little painful to find 
 instances of poverty so extreme that there is abso- 
 lute suffering, for want of food and clothing. 
 
 But the question must be determined by facts. 
 And it w^ould be greatly aiding the cause of hu- 
 manity if extensive comparisons were made be- 
 tween the pecuniary condition of those who marry 
 early and those who defer the subject to a later 
 period. But from my own limited observation I 
 am fully of opinion that the result of the compar- 
 ison would be greatly in favor of early marriages. 
 Should this prove to be true, the position which I 
 
WHY MATRIMONY IS A DOTY. 
 
 255 
 
 Objections to early marriage considered. 
 
 have assumed is, I think, established ; for it appears 
 to me that no other argument for delay has any 
 claim to our notice. 
 
 On the other hand, the following, among other 
 evils, are the results of deferring marriage. 
 
 1. The temper and habits of the parties become 
 stiff and unyielding when advanced in life, and 
 they learn to adapt themselves to each other with 
 difficulty. In the view which I have taken above 
 they become miserable as teachers, and still more 
 miserable as scholars. 
 
 2. Youth are thus exposed to the danger of 
 forming habits of criminal indulgence, as fatal to 
 the health and the character, as they are ruinous 
 to the soul. 
 
 3. Or if they proceed not so far, they at least 
 acquire the habit of spending time in vain or per- 
 nicious amusements. All mankind must and will 
 seek for gratifications of some sort or other. And 
 aside from religious principle, there is no certain 
 security against those amusements and indulgen- 
 ces which are pernicious and destructive, but 
 early and virtuous attachments, and the pleasures 
 afforded by domestic life. He can never want for 
 amusement or rational gratification who is sur- 
 rounded by a rising family for whom he has a 
 genuine affection. 
 
 4. Long continued celibacy contracts the mind, 
 if it does not enfeeble it. For one openhearted 
 liberal old bachelor, you will find ten who are par- 
 
256 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Bachelors not the most useful members of society. 
 
 simoiiious, avaricious, cold-hearted, and too often 
 destitute of those sympathies for their fellow be- 
 ings which the married life has a tendency to elicit 
 and perpetuate.* 
 
 * I know this principle is sometimes disputed. A late 
 English writer, in a Treatise on Happiness, at page 251 
 of Vol. II, maintains the contrary. He quotes from Lord 
 Bacon, that ‘ Unmarried men are the best friends, best mas- 
 ters, and best servants,’ and that ‘ The best works, and of 
 greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from unmarried 
 or childless men.’ He also introduces Jeremy Taylor, as 
 saying that ‘ Celibacy, like a fly in the heart of an apple, 
 dwells in perpetual sweetness.’ 
 
 In commenting upon these remarks, this writer says, 
 f One half of the most eminent persons that have ever lived 
 in the world pf science and literatpre, have remained un- 
 married/ and ‘ in the connubial state, too frequently, the 
 sympathies are connected within the family circle, while 
 there is little generosity or philanthropy beyond.’ And lastly, 
 fhat ‘ Unmarried men possess many natural excellences, 
 which if not engrossed by a family will be directed towards 
 their fellow creatures.’ 
 
 Now it is admitted that many enbinent men, especiall}?^ in 
 science and literature, have been bachelors ; and that among 
 them were Newton and Locke. But this only proves that 
 while thousands and tens of thousands of their fellow be- 
 ings spent their lives in insignificance, for want of a definite 
 object to live for, these men, having an object before them, 
 accomplished something. And if you could induce one 
 single man in a thousand, nay, one in ten thousand, to 
 make a similar use of his exemption from the cares of a 
 family, much might be expected fl'om celibacy ; or at least. 
 
WHY MATRIMONY IS A DUTY. ^57 
 
 The general principle considered. Franklin’s opinion. 
 
 5. Franklin says that late marriages are attended 
 with another inconvenience, viz.; that the chance 
 of living to see our children educated, is greatly 
 diminished. 
 
 6. But I go much farther than I have hitherto 
 done, and insist that other things being equal, the 
 
 the results of their labors might be a partial compensation 
 to society for the evil tendency of their example. For 
 marriage cannot be denied to be an institution of God, 
 and indispensable to the existence of society. And who 
 can say that he has purchased an indulgence to disobey a 
 law which is in some respects paramount la every other, 
 however great the price he may have paidl 
 
 That marriage tends to concentrate our sympathies within 
 the family circle, I do not lielieve. A proper investigation 
 of the subject will, I am certain, prove this assumption 
 unfounded. Facts do not show unmarried men to be ‘best 
 friends, masters, servants ’ &c. ; and I am sorry to find such 
 a theory maintained by any sensible writer. Some of the 
 illustrious examples of celibacy which are usually brought, 
 were by no means estimable for their social feelings or 
 habits. What would become of mankind, if they were all to 
 immure themselves in dungeons, or what is nearly the same 
 thing to social life, among books and papers 1 Better, by 
 far, to remain in ignorance of the material laws which 
 govern the universe, than to become recluses in a world 
 like this. Better even dispense with some of the lights 
 which genius has struck out to enable us to read suns and 
 stars, than to understand attraction in the material world, 
 while we are insensible to all attractions of a moral and 
 social kind. God has made us to feel, to sympathize, and 
 to love, — as well as to know. 
 
 2 ^* 
 
S58 THE YOUNG BIAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Early marriage also favorable in point of economy. 
 
 young married man has the advantage in a pecu- 
 niary point of view. This is a natural result from 
 the fact that he is compelled to acquire habits of 
 industry, frugality, and economy; and is under 
 less temptation to waste his time in trifling or pex^- 
 nicious amusements. But I may appeal to facts, 
 even here. Look around you in the world, and 
 see if out of a given number of single persons, say 
 one thousand, of the age of thirty-five, there be 
 not a gi'eater number in poverty, than of the same 
 number who settled in life at twenty. 
 
 Perhaps I ought barely to notice another objec- 
 tion to these views. It is said that neither the 
 mind nor the body come to full maturity so early 
 as we are apt to suppose. But is complete matu- 
 rity of body or mind indispensable ? I am not adr 
 vocating the practice of marrying in childhood. It 
 takes sometime for the affections toward an in- 
 dividual to -ripen and become settled. This is a 
 matter involving too high responsibilities to justify 
 baste. The consequences, speaking generally, aro 
 not confined to this life ; they extend to eternity. 
 
 Section II. General Consideratiom. 
 
 We are now to enter on a most in[g)ortant part 
 of our subject. Hitherto it had been my object to 
 point out the proper course for you to pursue in 
 reference to yourself, your own improvement, and 
 consequent usefulness. In the remarks of t4^e 
 
GENERAL CONSIDERATIONS. 259 
 
 school of matrimony. A word from Dr. Rush. 
 
 preceding chapter, and in those which follow, you 
 are regarded as seeking a companion ; as anxious 
 TO assume new relations, such as involve new du-^ 
 lies and new responsibilities. 
 
 If you are successful, instead of educating your^ 
 self alone, you are to be concerned in improving 
 the mental, moral, and social condition of two per^ 
 sons; and in the end, perhaps others. You are to 
 be a teacher ; you cannot avoid this station if you 
 would. But you are also to be a learner. Dr. Rush 
 says we naturally imitate the manners, and gradu^ 
 ally acquire the tempers of persons with whom we 
 live, provided they are objects of our affection and 
 respect. ‘ This,’ he adds, ‘ has been observed in 
 husbands and wives who have lived long and hap-? 
 pily together ; and even in servants.’ And nothing 
 can be more true, 
 
 Not only your temper an^that of your compan-^ 
 ion, but your whole character, considered as phy^ 
 sical, mental, and moral beings, will be mutually 
 improved or injured through life. You will be 
 placed, as 1 have already intimated, at a school of 
 mutual instruction, which is to continue without 
 vacation or change of monitors, — perhaps half a 
 century ; — during every one of the earliest years 
 of which, , your character will be more really and 
 more permanently modified than in the same 
 amount of time at any prior period of your edu-« 
 cation, unless it were in the veriest infancy. 
 
 Purely then it is no light affair to make prepara* 
 
260 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Wealth, beauty, rank, &c. only secondary considerations. 
 
 tion for a school like this. There is no period in 
 the life of a young man so important ; for there is 
 none on which his happiness and the happiness of 
 others so essentially depend. 
 
 Before I advert to the particular qualifications 
 which it is necessary for you to seek in so intimate 
 a friend, I shall mention a few considerations of a 
 general nature. 
 
 Settle it, in the first place, that absolute perfec- 
 tion is not to be found. There are not a few 
 young men of a romantic turn of mind, fostered 
 and increased by reading the fictitious writings of 
 the day, who have pictured to themselves for com- 
 panions in life unreal forms and angelic characters, 
 instead of beings who dwell in ‘houses of clay,’ 
 and are ‘crushed before the moth.’ Such ‘exalt- 
 ed imaginations ’ must sooner or later be brought 
 down : happy will it be with those who are chas- 
 tened in due season. 
 
 In the second place, resolve never to be misled 
 by any adventitious circumstances. Wealth, beau- 
 ty, rank, friends, &c, are all proper considerations, 
 but they are not of the first importance. They are 
 merely secondary qualifications. Marriage must 
 never be a matter of bargain and sale : for 
 
 In the third place, no marriage e^agement 
 shoiild ever be thought of unless there is first a 
 genuine and rational attachment. No cold calcu- 
 lations of profit or loss, no hereditary estates or 
 other adventitious circumstances, though they were 
 
GENERAL CONSIDERATIONS. 
 
 261 
 
 Genuine affection. A competence. Nearly equal age. 
 
 equivalent to a peerage, or a realm, should ever, 
 for one moment, even in thought, be substituted 
 for love. It is treason to Him who ordained this 
 most blessed institution. 
 
 But fourthly, though wealth, however valuable 
 in itself, is by no means a recommendation in the 
 present case, yet the means of a comfortable sup- 
 port are certainly to be regarded. It is painful to 
 see a \ery young couple, with a large family, and 
 destitute of the means of support. 
 
 In the fifth place, a suitable age is desirable. 
 
 When we consider the varying tastes, habits and 
 feelings of the same person at different periods of 
 his life, is it not at once obvious that, other things 
 being equal, those persons are most likely to find 
 that happiness which is sought in matrimony, by 
 associating with those whose age does not differ 
 greatly from their own? It is true, some of the 
 happiest human connexions that ever were formed 
 were between persons of widely differing ages; 
 but is this the general rule? Would not those 
 who have found happiness under other circum- 
 stances, have been still happier^ had their ages been 
 more nearly equal ? 
 
 There is little doubt that a person advanced in 
 life may lengthen his days by a connection with 
 a person much younger than himself. Whether 
 the life of the other party is not shortened, in an 
 equal degree, at the same time, and by tlie same 
 
262 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Opinion of Spurzheim. Chateaubriand. What the Bible says. 
 
 means, remains to be determined ; but probably it 
 is so. 
 
 Some men and women are as old, in reality, 
 whatever their years may indicate, at twenty, as 
 others at twenty-five. The matrimonial connec- 
 tion then may be safely formed between parties 
 whose ages differ a few years ; but I think that as 
 a general rule, the ages of the parties ought to be 
 nearly equal. 
 
 Lastly, it was believed by a great observer of hu- 
 man nature, the late Dr. Spurzheim, that no per- 
 son was fit for the domestic relations who had not 
 undergone trials and sufferings. The gay reader 
 may smile at this opinion, but I can assure him 
 that many wise men besides Spurzheim have 
 entertained it. Chateaubriand, among others, in 
 his ‘Genius of Christianity,’ advances the same 
 opinion. Some, as we have seen, hold that no 
 person can be well educated without suffering. 
 Such persons, however, use the term education as 
 meaning something more than a little scientific 
 instruction ; — as a means of forming character. In 
 this point of view no sentiment can be more true. 
 Even the Bible confirms it, when it assures us, that 
 the ‘Captain of our Salvation was made perfect 
 through sufferings.’ % 
 
MORAL EXCELLENCE. 263 
 
 Few female atheists. Large proportion of female Christians. 
 
 Section III. Female Qualifications for Marriage, 
 
 1. MORAL excellence. 
 
 The highest as well as noblest trait in female 
 character, is love to God. When we consider 
 what are the tendencies of Christianity to elevate 
 woman from the state of degradation to which she 
 had, for ages, been subjected — when we consider 
 not only what it has done, but what it is destined 
 yet to do for her advancement, — it is impossible 
 not to shrink from the presence of an impious, and 
 above all an unprincipled atheistical female, as from 
 an ungrateful and unnatural being. 
 
 Man is under eternal obligations to Christianity 
 and its Divine Author, undoubtedly; but woman 
 seems to be more so. 
 
 That charge against females which in the minds 
 of some half atheistical men is magnified into a 
 stigma on Christianity itself, namely that they are 
 more apt to become religious than men ; and that 
 we find by far the greater part of professing Chris- 
 tians to be females, is in my own view one of the 
 highest praises of the sex. I rejoice that their 
 hearts are more susceptible than ours, and that 
 they do not war so strongly against that religion 
 which their nature demands. I have met with but 
 one female, whom I knew to be an avowed atheist. 
 
 Indeed there are very few men to be found, who 
 are skeptical themselves, who do not prefer ^ous 
 
264 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE* 
 
 Common sense. Its value in a wife. Definition. 
 
 companions of the other sex. I will not stop to 
 adduce this as an evidence of the truth of our reli- 
 gion itself, and of its adaptation to the wants of the 
 human race, for happily it does not need it. Chris- 
 tianity is based on the most abundant evidence, of 
 a character wholly unquestionable. But this 1 do 
 and will say, that to be consistent, young men of 
 loose principles ought not to rail at females for their 
 piety, and then whenever they seek for a constant 
 friend, one whom they can love, — for they never 
 really love the abandoned — always prefer, other 
 things being equal, the society of the pious and the 
 virtuous. 
 
 2. COMMON SENSE. 
 
 Next on the list of particular qualifications in a 
 female, for matrimonial life, I place common sense. 
 In the view of some, it ought to precede moral 
 excellence. A person, it is said, who is deficient 
 in common sense, is, in proportion to the irnbecil 
 ity, unfit for social life, and yet the same person 
 might possess a kind of negative excellency, or 
 perhaps even a species of piety. This view ap- 
 pears to me, however, much more specious than 
 sound. 
 
 By common sense, as used in this place, I mean 
 the faculty by means of which we see things as 
 they renWy are. It implies judgment and discrimi- 
 nation, and a proper sense of propriety in regard 
 to the common concerns of life. It leads us to 
 
DESIRE FOR IMPROVEMENT. 
 
 ^riiirst for improvement. No happiness without this. 
 
 form judicious plans of action, and to be governed 
 by our circumstances in such a way as will be 
 generally approved. It is the exercise of reason, 
 uninfluenced by passion or prejudice. To man, it 
 is nearly what instinct is to brutes. It is very 
 difierent from genius or talent, as they are com- 
 monly defined ; but much better than either. It 
 never blazes forth with the splendor of noon, but 
 shines with a constant and useful light. To the 
 housewife — but, above all, to the mother, — it is 
 indispensable. 
 
 3 . DESIRE FOR IMPROVEMENT. 
 
 Whatever other recommendations a lady may 
 possess, she should have an inextinguishable thirst 
 for improvement. No sensible person can be truly 
 happy in the world, without this ; much less quali- 
 fied to make others happy. But the genuine spi- 
 rit of improvement, wherever it exists, atones for 
 the absence of many qualities which would other- 
 wise be indispensable: in this respect resembling 
 that ^charity’ which covers ‘a multitude of sins.’ 
 Without it, almost everything would be of little 
 consequence, — with it, every thing else is render- 
 ed doubly valuable. 
 
 One would think that every sensible person, of 
 either sex, would aspire at improvement, were it 
 merely to avoid the shame of being stationary like 
 the brutes. Above all, it is most surprising that 
 any lady should be satisfied to pass a day or even 
 33 
 
S66 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Stupidity of some of both sexes. They live for pleasur'd. 
 
 an hour without mental and moral progress. It 
 is no discredit to the lower animals that — ‘ their 
 little all flows in at once,’ that ‘in ages they no 
 more can know, or covet or enjoy,’ for this is the 
 legitimate result of the physical constitution which 
 God has given them. But it is far otherwise with 
 the masters and mistresses of creation ; for 
 
 ‘Were man to live coeval with the sun, 
 
 The patriarch pupil should be learning still. 
 
 And dying, leave his lessons half unlearnt.’ 
 
 There are, — I am sorry to say it — not a few 
 of both sexes who never appear to breathe out one 
 hearty desire to rise, intellectually or morally, with 
 a view to the government of themselves or others. 
 They love themselves supremely — their friends 
 subordinately — their neighbors, perhaps not at all. 
 But neither the love they bear to themselves or 
 others ever leads them to a single series of any 
 sort of action which has for its ultimate object the 
 inprovement of any thing higher than the condition 
 of the mp'e animal. Dress, personal appearance, 
 equipage, style of a dwelling or its furniture, with 
 no other view, however, than the promotion of 
 mere physical enjoyment, is the height of their 
 desires for improvement ! 
 
 Talk to them of elevating the intellect or im- 
 proving the heart, and they admit it is true; but 
 they go their way and pursue their accustomed 
 round of folly again. The probability is, that 
 though they assent to your views, they do not un- 
 
DESIRE FOR IMPROVEMENT. 267 
 
 Picture ot fashionable life. An anecdote. 
 
 derstand you. It requires a stretch of charity to 
 which I am wholly unequal, to believe that beings 
 who ever conceived, for one short moment, of the 
 height to which their natures may be elevated, 
 should sink back without a single struggle, to a 
 mere selfish, unsocial, animal life ; — to lying in bed 
 ten or twelve hours daily, rising three or four hours 
 later then the sun, spending the morning in pre- 
 paration at the glass, the remainder of the time 
 till dinner in unmeaning calls, the afternoon in 
 yawning over a novel, and the evening in the ex- 
 citement of the tea table and the party, and the 
 ball room, to retire, perhaps at midnight, with the 
 mind and body and soul in a feverish state, to toss 
 away the night in vapid or distressing dreams. 
 
 How beings endowed with immortal souls can 
 be contented to while away precious hours in a 
 manner so useless, and withal so displeasing to 
 the God who gave them their time for the im- 
 provement of themselves and others, is to me ab- 
 solutely inconceivable! Yet it is certainly done; 
 and that not merely by a few solitary individuals 
 scattered up and down the land; but in some of 
 our most populous cities, by considerable numbers. 
 
 A philanthropic individual not long since under- 
 took with the aid of others, to establish a weekly or 
 semi-weekly gazette in one of our cities, for al- 
 most the sole purpose, as I have since learned, of 
 rousing the drones among her sex to benevolent 
 action in some form or other, in behalf of members 
 
268 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 A caution. One worse condition than celibacy. 
 
 of their families, their fi’iends or their neighbors. 
 She hoped, at first, to save them from many 
 hours of ennui by the perusal of her columns; 
 and that their minds being opened to instruction, 
 and their hearts made to vibrate in sympathy with 
 the cries of ignorance, poverty, or absolute distress, 
 their hands might be roused to action. But alas, 
 the articles in th6 paper were too long, or too dry. 
 They coulcf not task their minds to go through 
 with an argument. 
 
 Should the young man who is seeking an ‘ help 
 meet ,’ chance to fall in with such beings as these 
 — and some we fear there are in almost every part 
 of our land, — let him shun them as he would the 
 ‘ choke damp ’ of the cavern. 
 
 Their society would extinguish, rather than fan 
 the flame of every generous or benevolent feeling 
 that might be kindling in his bosom. With the 
 fond, the ardent, the never failing desire to im- 
 prove, physically, intellectually, and morally, there 
 are few females who may not make tolerable com^ 
 panions for a man of sense; — without it, though 
 a young lady were beautiful and otherwise lovely 
 beyond comparison, wealthy as the Indies, sur- 
 rounded by thousands of the most worthy friends, 
 and even talented, let him beware ! Better remain 
 in celibacy a thousand years (could life last so long) 
 great as the evil may be, than form a union “with 
 such an object. He should pity, and seek her refor- 
 mation, if not beyond the bounds of possibility ; but 
 
DESIRE FOR IMPROVEMENT. 269 
 
 A point to be early settled. Of yielding to conviction. 
 
 love her he should not! The penalty will be ab- 
 solutely insupportable. 
 
 One point ought to be settled, — I think unaltera- 
 bly settled — before matrimony. It ought indeed 
 so be setded in early life, but it is better late, per- 
 haps, than never. Each of the parties should con- 
 sider themselves as sacredly pledged, in all cases, to 
 yield to conviction. I have no good opinion of the 
 man who expects his wife to yield her opinion to 
 his, on every occasion, unless she is convinced. I 
 say on every occasion; for that she sometimes 
 ought to do so, seems to be both scriptural and 
 rational. It would be very inconvenient to call in a 
 third person as an umpire upon every slight differ- 
 ence of opinion between a young couple, besides 
 being very humiliating. But if each maintain, with 
 pertinacity, their opinion, what can be done? It 
 does seem to me that every sensible woman, who 
 feels any good degree of confidence in her husband, 
 will perceive the propriety of yielding her opinion 
 to his in such cases, where the matter is of such a 
 nature that it cannot be delayed. * 
 
 But there are a thousand things occurring, in which 
 there is no necessity of forming an immediate opin- 
 ion, or decision, except from conviction. I should 
 never like the idea of a woman’s conforming to her 
 husband’s views to please him, merely, without con- 
 sidering whether they are correct or not. It seems 
 to me a sort of treason against the God who gave 
 
 23 * 
 
270 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 A miserable wife. A thrice miserable husband^ 
 
 her a mind of her own, with an intention that she 
 should use it. But it would be higher treason 
 still, in male, or female, not to yield, when actual* 
 ly convinced. 
 
 4 , FONDNESS FOR CHILDREN. 
 
 Few traits of female character are more impor** 
 taut than this. Yet there is much reason to be-* 
 lieve that, even in contemplating an engagement 
 that is expected to last for life, it is almost univer-* 
 sally overlooked. Without it, though a woman 
 should possess every accomplishment of person, 
 mind, and manners, she would be poor indeed; 
 and would probably render those around her mis- 
 erable. I speak now generally. There may be 
 exceptions to this, as to other general rules. A 
 dislike of children, even in men, is an unfavorable 
 omen ; in woman it is insupportable ; for it is 
 grossly unnatural. To a susceptible, intelligent, 
 virtuous mind, I can scarcely conceive of a worse 
 situation in this world or any other, than to be 
 chained for life to a person who hates children. 
 You can purchase, if you have the pecuniary means, 
 almost every thing but maternal love. This no 
 gold can buy. Wo to the female who is doomed 
 to drag out a miserable existence with a husband 
 who ‘can’t bear children;’ but thrice miserable 
 is the doom of him who has a wife and a family 
 of children, but whose children have no mother I 
 
FONDNESS FOR CHILDREN. 271 
 
 Marriage not a lottery. Anecdote of the Chinese 
 
 If there be orphans any where in the wide world, 
 they are these.* 
 
 The more I reflect on the four last mentioned 
 traits of female character, the more they rise in my 
 estimation, eclipsing all others; unless perhaps, a 
 good temper. 
 
 It is said that after every precaution, the choice 
 of a wife is like buying a ticket in a lottery. If 
 we were absolutely deaf and blind in the selection, 
 and were so from necessity, the maxim might be 
 just. But this is not so. We shut our eyes and 
 atop our ears voluntarily, and then complain of the 
 imperfection of our means of forming a judgment, 
 
 * It is worthy of remark, as a well established fact, that 
 the Chinese have an Isan-mon or mother, to their silk- 
 worms! Her duty is, not to attend to the eggs and the 
 hatching, for nature has made provision for that; but to 
 take possession of the chamber where the young are depoS" 
 ited; to see that it be free from ‘noisome smells, and all 
 noises;’ to attend to its temperature, and to ‘ avoid making 
 a smoke, or raising a dust.’ She must not enter the room 
 till she is perfectly clean in person and dress, and must be 
 clothed in a very plain habit ; and in order to be more sen- 
 sible to the temperature of the place, her dress must contain 
 no lining. 
 
 Now although every mother of children does not have the 
 care of silkworms, yet she has the care of beings who are in 
 some respects equally susceptible. And I trust no person who 
 knows the importance of temperature, ventilation, &c. es- 
 pecially to the tender infant, will be ashamed to derive ao 
 important lesson from the foregoing. 
 
272 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE, 
 
 On studying the bent of a young lady’s mind Difecultie^ 
 
 Jn truth we impeach the goodness of Him who 
 was the author of the institution. 
 
 No young man is worthy of a wife who has not 
 sense enough to determine, even after a few inter- 
 views, what the bent of a lady’s mind is; — wheth- 
 er she listens with most pleasure to conversation 
 which is wholly unimproving, or whether she 
 gladly turns from it, when an opportunity ofterS) 
 to subjects which are above the petty chit-chat 
 or common but fashionable scandal of the day; 
 and above all, avoids retailing it. He knows, or 
 may know, without a ‘seven years’ acquaintance, 
 whether she spends a part of her leisure time in 
 reading, or whether the whole is spent in dressing, 
 visiting, or conversing about plays, actors, theatres, 
 &c. And if she reads a part of the time, the fault 
 must be his own, if he does not know whether 
 she relishes any thing but the latest novel, or the 
 most light — not to say empty — periodical. Let 
 it be remembered, then, by every young man that 
 the fault is his own, if he do not give himself time, 
 before he forms an engagement that is to last for 
 life, to ascertain whether his friendship is to be 
 formed with a person who is desirous of improve- 
 ment, or with one who, living only for pleasure, 
 is ‘ dead while she liveth.’ 
 
 You will say it is difficult to ascertain whether 
 she is fond of children or not. But I doubt it. 
 Has she then no young brothers, or sisters, or 
 cousins? Are there no children in the neighbor- 
 
LOVE OF DOMESTIC LIFE. 273 
 
 Hints. Reflections. Love of domestic life. 
 
 hood ? For if there are, — if there is but one, and 
 she sees that individual but once a week, — the 
 fact may easily be ascertained. If she loves that 
 child, the child will love her; and its eye will 
 brighten when it sees her, or hears her name men- 
 tioned. Children seldom fail to keep debt and 
 credit in these matters, and tliey know how to 
 balance the account, with great ingenuity. 
 
 These remarks are made, not in the belief that 
 they will benefit those who are already blinded by 
 fancy or passion, but with the hope that some more 
 fortunate reader may reflect on the probable chances 
 of happiness or misery, and pause before he leaps 
 into the vortex of matrimonial discord. No home 
 can ever be a happy one to any of its inmates, 
 where there is no maternal love, nor any desire for 
 mental or moral improvement. But where these 
 exist, in any considerable degree, and the original 
 attachment was founded on correct principles, there 
 is always hope of brighter days, even though clouds 
 at present obscure the horizon. No woman who 
 loves her husband, and desires to make continual 
 improvement, will long consent to render those 
 around her unhappy, 
 
 5. LOVE OF DOMESTIC CONCERNS. 
 
 Without the knowledge and the love of domes- 
 tic concerns, even the wife of a peer, is but a poor 
 affair. It was the fashion, in former times, for 
 ladies to understand a great deal about these things. 
 
274 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN^S GUIDE. 
 
 Family management. Influence of domestics. 
 
 and it would be very hard to make me believe that 
 it did not tend to promote the interests and honor 
 of their husbands. 
 
 The concerns of a great family never can be well 
 managed, if left wholly to hirelings ; and there are 
 many parts of these affairs in which it would be 
 unseemly for husbands to meddle. Surely, no lady 
 can be too high in rank to make it proper for her to 
 be well acquainted v itli the character and general 
 demeanor of all the female servants. To receive 
 and give character is too much to be left to a ser- 
 vant, however good, whose service has been ever 
 so long, or acceptable. 
 
 Much of the ease and happiness of the great and 
 rich must depend on the character of those by 
 whom they are assisted. They live under the same 
 roof with them; they are frequently the children 
 of their tenants, or poorer neighbors ; the conduct 
 of their whole lives must be influenced by the ex- 
 amples and precepts which they here imbibe ; and 
 when ladies consider how much more weight there 
 must be in one word from them, than in ten thou- 
 sand words from a person who, call her what you 
 like, is still a felloiv servant, it does appear strange 
 that they sliould forego the performance of this at 
 once important and pleasing part of their duty. 
 
 I am, how'ever, addressing myself, in this work, 
 to persons in the middle ranks of life ; and here a 
 knowledge of domestic affairs is so necessary m 
 every wife, that the lover ought to have it continu-* 
 
LOVfi OF DOMFStIC LIFE. 275 
 
 No domestics necessary in common life. Their inconvenience. 
 
 ally in his eye. Not only a knowledge of these 
 affairs — not only to know how things ought to he 
 done, but how to do them ; not only to know what 
 ingredients ought to be put into a pie or a pudding, 
 but to be able to make the pie or the pudding. 
 
 Young people, when they come together, ought 
 not, unless they have fortunes, or are to do unusual 
 business, to think about servants! Servants for 
 what! To help them eat, and drink, and sleep 
 When they have children, there must be some help 
 in a farmer’s or ti'adesman’s house, but until then, 
 what call is there for a servant in a house, the mas- 
 ter of which has to earn every mouthful that is 
 consumed ? 
 
 Eating and drinking come three times every day; 
 they must come ; and, however little we may, in 
 the days of our health and vigor, care about choice 
 food and about cookery, we very soon get tired of 
 heavy or burnt bread, and of spoiled joints of meat. 
 We bear them for once or twice perhaps; but 
 about the third time, we begin to lament ; about the 
 fifth time, it must be an extraordinary affair that 
 will keep us from complaining; if the like continue 
 for a month or two, we begin to repent ; and then 
 adieu to all our anticipated delights. We discover, 
 when it is too late, that we have not got a help- 
 mate, but a burden; and, the fire of love being 
 damped, the unfortunately educated creature, whose 
 parents are more to blame than she is, unless she 
 resolve to learn her duty, is doomed to lead a life 
 
276 TriE YOUNG man’s guide. 
 
 Duties belonging to every housewife. In particular situations. 
 
 very nearly approaching to that of misery ; for, how- 
 ever considerate the husband, he never can esteem 
 her as he would have done, had she been skilled in 
 domestic affairs. 
 
 The mere manual performance of domestic la- 
 bors is not, indeed, absolutely necessaiy in the 
 female head of the family of professional men;- 
 but, even here, and also in the case of great mer- 
 chants and of gentlemen living on their fortunes,: 
 surely the head of the household ought to be able 
 to give directions as to the purchasing of meal,* 
 salting meat, making bread, making preserves of 
 all sorts ; and ought to see the things done. 
 
 The lady ought to take care that food be well 
 cooked ; that there be always a sufficient supply ; 
 that there be good living without waste ; and that 
 in her department, nothing shall be seen inconsist- 
 ent with the rank, station, and character of her 
 husband. If he have a skilful and industrious 
 wife, he will, unless he be of a singularly foolish 
 turn, gladly leave all these things to her absolute 
 dominion, controlled only by the extent of the 
 whole expenditure, of which he must be the best 
 judge. 
 
 But, in a farmer’s or a tradesman’s family, the 
 manual performance is absolutely necessary, wheth- 
 er there be domestics or not. No one knows how' 
 to teach another so well as one who has done, and 
 can do, the thing himself. It was said of a famous 
 French commander, that, in attacking an enemy^) 
 
LOVE OF DOMESTIC LIFE. 277 
 
 Difference between go and come. A rule. Female playthings. 
 
 he did not say to his men ^go on,’ but ^come on^’ 
 and, whoever has well observed the movements 
 of domestics, must know what a prodigious differ- 
 ence there is in the effect of the words, go and 
 come, 
 
 A very good rule would be, to have nothing to 
 eat, in a farmer’s or mechanic’s house, that the 
 mistress did not know how to prepare and to cook ; 
 no pudding, tait, pie or cake, that she did not know 
 how to make. Never fear the toil to her : exercise 
 is good for health ; and without health there is no 
 beauty. Besides, what is the labor in such a case ? 
 And how many thousands of ladies, who idle away 
 the day, would give half their fortunes for that 
 sound sleep which the stirring housewife seldom 
 fails to enjoy. 
 
 Yet, if a young farmer or mechanic marry a girl, 
 who has been brought up only to ^play music ; ’ to 
 draw, to sing, to waste paper, pen and ink in 
 writing long and half romantic letters, and to see 
 shows, and plays, and read novels; — if a young 
 man do maiTy such an unfortunate young creature, 
 let him bear the consequences with temper. Let 
 him hQ just. Justice will teach him to treat her 
 wdth great indulgence ; to endeavor to persuade her 
 to learn her business as a wife ; to be patient with 
 her ; to reflect that he has taken her, being appriz- 
 ed of her inability ; to bear in mind, that he was, 
 or seemed to be, pleased with her showy and use- 
 less acquirements; and that, when the gratifica- 
 24 
 
S78 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 An unhappy companion. The wives of farmers and tradesmen. 
 
 tion of his passion has been accomplished, he is 
 unjust, and cruel, and unmanly, if he turn round 
 upon her, and accuse her of a want of that know- 
 ledge, which he well knew, beforehand, she did not 
 possess. 
 
 For my part, I do not know, nor can I form an 
 idea of, a more unfortunate being than a girl with 
 a mere boarding school education, and without a 
 fortune to enable her to keep domestics, when mar- 
 ried. Of what use are her accomplishments ? Of 
 what use her music, her drawing, and her romantic 
 epistles ? If she should chance to possess a sweet 
 disposition, and good nature, the first faint cry of 
 her first babe drives all the tunes and all the land- 
 scapes, and all the imaginary beings out of her 
 head for ever. 
 
 The farmer or the tradesman’s wife has to help 
 earn a provision for her children; or, at the least, 
 to help to earn a store for sickness or old age. She 
 ought, therefore, to be qualified to begin, at once, 
 to assist her husband in his earnings. The way in 
 which she can most efficiently assist, is by taking 
 care of his property ; by expending his money to 
 the greatest advantage ; by wasting nothing, but by 
 making the table sufficiently abundant with the 
 least expense.. 
 
 But how is she to do these things, unless she 
 has been brought up to understand domestic af- 
 fairs? How is she to do these things, if she has 
 been taught to think these matters beneath her 
 
SOBRIETY. 279 
 
 Where a lady is really ignorant. Importance of sobriety. 
 
 Study ? How is the man to expect her to do these 
 things, if she has been so bred, as to make her 
 habitually look upon them as worthy the attention 
 of none but low and ignorant women? 
 
 Ignorant, indeed ! Ignorance consists in a want 
 of knowledge of those things which your calling or 
 state of life naturally supposes you to understand. 
 A ploughman is not an ignorant man because he 
 does not know how to read. If he knows how to 
 plough, he is not to be called an ignorant man; 
 but a wife may be justly called an ignorant wo- 
 man, if she does not know how to provide a din- 
 ner for her husband. It is cold comfort for a hun- 
 gry man, to tell him how delightfully his wife plays 
 and sings. Lovers may live on very aerial diet, but 
 husbands stand in need of something more solid; 
 and young women may take my word for it, that 
 a constantly clean table, well cooked victuals, a 
 house in order, and a cheerful fire, will do more 
 towards preserving a husband’s heart, than all the 
 ‘ accomplishments’ taught in all the ‘ establishments’ 
 in the world without them. 
 
 6. SOBRIETY. 
 
 Surely no reasonable young man will expect 
 sobriety in a companion, when he does not possess 
 this qualification himself. But by sobriety, I do 
 not mean a habit which is opposed to intoxication, 
 for if that be hateful in a man, what must it be in 
 a woman ? Besides, it doe3 seeni to me that no 
 
S80 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Sobriety means more than mere abstinence from strong drink. 
 
 young man, with his eyes open, and his other senses 
 perfect, needs any caution on that point. .Drunken- 
 ness, downright drunkenness, is usually as incom- 
 patible with purity, as it is with decency. 
 
 Much is sometimes said in favor of a little wine 
 or other fermented liquors, especially at dinner. 
 No young lady, in health, needs any of these 
 stimulants. Wine, or ale, or cider, at dinner! I 
 would as soon take a companion from the streets, as 
 one who must habitually have her glass or two of 
 wine at dinner. And this is not an opinion formed 
 prematurely or hastily. 
 
 But by the word sobriety in a young woman, 
 1 mean a great deal more than even a rigid absti- 
 nence from a love of drink, which I do not believe 
 to exist to any considerable degree, in this country, 
 even in the least refined parts of it. I mean a great 
 deal more than this; I mean sobriety of conduct. 
 The word sober and its derivatives mean steadi- 
 ness, seriousness, carefulness, scrupulous propriety of 
 conduct. 
 
 Now this kmd of sobriety is of great importance 
 in the person with whom we are to live con- 
 stantly. Skipping, romping, rattling girls are very 
 amusing where all consequences are out of the 
 question , and they may, perhaps, ultimately become 
 sober. But while you have no certainty of this, 
 there is a presumptive argument on the other side. 
 To be sure, when girls are mere children, they 
 are expected to play and romp like children. But 
 
A voice of experience. 
 
 SOBRIETY. 281 
 
 How to maintain cheerfulness 
 
 ■when they are arrived at an age which turns their 
 thoughts towards a situation for life ; when they 
 begin to think of having the command of a house, 
 however small or poor, it is time for them to cast 
 away, not the cheerfulness or the simplicity, but 
 the levity of the child. 
 
 ‘ If I could not have found a young woman,’ says 
 a certain writer, ‘who I was not sure possessed 
 all the qualities expressed by that word sobriety^ I 
 should have remained a bachelor to the end of life. 
 Scores of gentlemen have, at different times, ex- 
 pressed to me their surprise that I was “ always in 
 spirits; that nothing pulled me down;^^ and the 
 truth is, that throughout nearly forty years of 
 troubles, losses, and crosses, assailed all the while 
 by numerous and powerful enemies, and perform- 
 ing, at the same time, greater mental labors than 
 man ever before performed; all those labors re- 
 quiring mental exertion, and some of them mental 
 exertion of the highest order, I have never known 
 a single hour of real anxiety; the troubles have 
 been no troubles to me ; I have not known what 
 lowness of spirits meant ; and have been more gay, 
 and felt less care than any bachelor that ever lived. 
 “You are always in spirits!” To be sure, for why 
 should I not be so ? Poverty, I have always set at 
 defiance, and I could, therefore, defy the tempta- 
 lions to riches; and as to home and children^ I had 
 taken care to provide myself with an inexhaustible 
 store of that “sobriety” which I so strongly recom- 
 mend to others. 24 * 
 
282 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 
 
 Reposing entire confidence in a companion. Choice of one. 
 
 ‘This sobriety is a title to trustwoi-thiness ; and 
 this, young man, is the treasure that you ought to 
 prize above all others. Miserable is the husband 
 who, when he crosses the threshold of his house, 
 candes with him doubts, and fears, and suspicions. 
 I do not mean suspicions of the fidelity of his wife ; 
 but of her care, frugality, attention to his interests, 
 and to the health and morals of his children. Mis- 
 erable is the man who cannot leave all unlocked ; 
 and who is not sure, quite certain, that all is as safe 
 as if grasped in his own hand. 
 
 ‘ He is the happy husband who can go away at 
 a moment’s warning, leaving his house and family 
 with as little anxiety as he quits an inn, no more 
 fearing to find, on his return, any thing wrong, than 
 he would fear a discontinuance of the rising and 
 setting of the sun; and if, as in my case, leaving 
 books and papers all lying about at sixes and sev- 
 ens, finding them aiTanged in proper order, and 
 the room, during the lucky interval, freed from the 
 effects of his and his ploughman’s or gardener’s 
 dirty shoes. Such a man has no real cares — no 
 troubles ; and this is the sort of life I have led. I 
 have had all the numerous and indescribable de- 
 lights of home and children, and at the same time, 
 all the bachelor’s freedom from domestic cares. 
 
 ‘ But in order to possess this precious ti'ustworth- 
 iness, you must, if you can, exercise your reason 
 in the choice of your partner. If she be vain of 
 her person, very fond of dress, fond of fiattery at 
 
SOBRIETY. 283 
 
 Reposing confidence in a companion. Human nature. Anecdote. 
 
 all, given to gadding about, fond of w^hat are called 
 parties of pleasure^ or coquetish, though in the least 
 degree, — she ’will never be trustworthy; she can- 
 not change her nature ; and if you marry her, you 
 will be unjust, if you expect trustworthiness at her 
 hands. But on the other hand, if you find in her 
 that innate sobriety of which I have been speaking, 
 there is required on your part, and that at once, 
 too, confidence and trust without any limit. Con- 
 fidence in this case is nothing, unless it be recipro- 
 cal. To have a trustworthy wife, you must begin 
 by showing her, even before marriage, that you 
 have no suspicions, fears, or doubts in regard to 
 her. Many a man has been discarded by a virtu- 
 ous girl, merely on account of his querulous con- 
 duct. All women despise jealous men, and if they 
 marry them, their motive is other than that of af' 
 fection.’ 
 
 There is a tendency, in our very natures, to 
 become what we are taken to be. Beware then of 
 suspicion or jealousy, lest you produce the very 
 thing which you most dread. The evil results of 
 suspicion and jealousy whether in single or mar- 
 ried, public or private life, may be seen by the fol- 
 lowing fact. 
 
 A certain professional gentleman had the mis- 
 fortune to possess a suspicious temper. He had 
 not a better friend on the earth than Mr. C., yet by 
 some unaccountable whim or other, be began of a 
 sudden to suspect he was his enemy ; — and what 
 
284 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE 
 
 Picture of domestic felicity. 
 
 A contrast 
 
 was at first at the farthest possible remove from 
 the truth, ultimately grew to be a reality. Had it 
 not have been for his jealousy, Mr. C. might have 
 been to this hour one of the doctor’s warmest and 
 most confidential friends, instead of being removed 
 — and in a great measure through Ms influence — 
 from a useful field of labor. 
 
 ‘ Let any man observe as I frequently have,’ says 
 the writer last quoted, ‘ with delight, the excessive 
 fondness of the laboring people for their children. 
 Let him observe with what care they dress them 
 out on Sundays with means deducted from their 
 own scanty meals. Let him observe the husband, 
 who has toiled, like his horse, all the week, nursing 
 the babe, while the wife is preparing dinner. Let 
 him observe them both abstaining fi*om a suffi- 
 ciency, lest the children should feel the pinchings 
 of hunger. Let him observe, in short, the whole 
 of their demeanor, the real mutual affection evinc- 
 ed, not in words, but in unequivocal deeds. 
 
 ^ Let him observe these things, and having then 
 cast a look at the lives of the great and wealthy, he 
 will say, with me, that when a man is choosing 
 his partner for life, the dread of poverty ought to 
 be cast to the winds. A laborer’s cottage in a 
 cleanly condition ; the husband or wife having a 
 babe in arms, looking at two or three older ones, 
 playing between the flower borders, going from the 
 wicket to the door, is, according to my taste, the 
 most interesting object that eyes ever beheld ; and 
 
SOBRIETY. 285 
 
 Another anecdote. A serious mistake. Charity. 
 
 it is an object to be seen in no country on earth but 
 England.’ 
 
 It happens, however, that the writer had not 
 seen all the countries upon earth, nor even all in the 
 interior of United America. There are as moving 
 instances of native simplicity and substantial hap- 
 piness here as in any other country; and occa- 
 sionally in even the higher classes. The wife of 
 a distuiguished lawyer and senator in Congress, 
 never left the society of her own children, to go 
 for once to see her friends abroad, in eleven years ! 
 I am not defending the conduct of the husband 
 who would doom his wife to imprisonment in his 
 own house, even amid a happy group of children, 
 for eleven years ; but the example shows, at least, 
 that there are women fitted for domestic life in other 
 countries besides England. 
 
 Ardent young men may fear that great sobriety 
 in a young woman argues a want of that warmth 
 which they naturally so much desire and approve. 
 But observation and experience attest to the con- 
 traiy. They tell us that levity is ninety-nine times 
 out of a hundred, the companion of a want of 
 ardent feeling. But the licentious never love. Their 
 passion is chiefly animal. Even better women, if 
 they possess light and frivolous minds, have seldom 
 any ardent passion. 
 
 I would not, however, recommend that you 
 should be too severe in judging, when the conduct 
 does not go beyond mere levity^ and is not border- 
 
286 THE young MAN^s} guide. 
 
 Another mistake corrected. Temperance of mind as well asbo^y. 
 
 ing on loose conduct ; for something certainly de- 
 pends here on constitution and animal spirits, and 
 something on the manners of the country. 
 
 If any person imagine that the sobriety I have 
 been recommending would render young women 
 moping or gloomy, he is much mistaken, for the 
 contrary is the fact. I have uniformly found — 
 and I began to observe it in my very childhood — 
 that your jovial souls, men or women, except when 
 over the bottle, are of all human beings the most 
 dull and insipid. They can no more exist — they 
 may vegetate — but they can no more live without 
 some excitement, than a fish could live on the top 
 of the Alleghany. If it be not the excitement of 
 the bottle, it must be that of the tea or the coffee 
 cup, or food converted into some unwholesome 
 form or other by condiments ; or if it be none of 
 these, they must have some excitement of the in- 
 tellect, for intemperance is not confined to the use 
 of condiments and poisons for the body ; there are 
 condiments and poisons to mind and heait. In 
 fact, they usually accompany each other. 
 
 Show me a person who cannot live on plain 
 and simple food and the only didnk the Creator 
 ever made, and as a general rule you will show me 
 a person to whom the plain and the solid and the 
 useful in domestic, social, intellectual, and moral life 
 are insipid if not disgusting. ‘ They are welcome to 
 all that sort of labor,’ said one of these creatui-es — not 
 rationals — this very doy, to me, in relation to plain 
 
SOBRIETY. 
 
 28 ? 
 
 Unfit for matrimony 
 
 Females who cannot help themselves. 
 
 domestic employments. — Show me a female, as 
 many, alas ! very many in fashionable life are now 
 trained, and you show me a person who has none 
 of the qualities that fit her to be a help meet for man 
 in a life of simplicity. She could recite well at the 
 high school, no doubt ; but the moment she leaves 
 school, she has nothing to do, and is taught to do 
 nothing. I have seen girls, of this description, and 
 they may be seen by others. 
 
 But what is such a female — One who can hardly 
 help herself — good for, at home or abroad ; married, 
 or single ? The moment she has not some feast, or 
 party, or play, or novel, or — I know not what — 
 something to keep up a fever, the moment I say that 
 she has not something of this sort to anticipate or 
 enjoy, that moment she is miserable. Wo to the 
 young man who becomes wedded for life to a crea- 
 ture of this description. She may stay at home, for 
 want of a better place, and she may add one to the 
 national census every ten years, but a companion, 
 or a mother, she cannot be. 
 
 I should dislike a moping melancholy creature 
 as much as any man, though were I tied to such a 
 thing, I could live with her ; but I never could en- 
 joy her society, nor but half of my own. He is 
 but half a man who is thus wedded, and will ex- 
 claim, in a literal sense, ‘ When shall I be deliver- 
 ed from the body of this death ? ’ j 
 
 One hour, an animal of this sort is moping, es- 
 pecially if nobody but her husband is present j the 
 
288 
 
 THE YOUNG man’s GUIDE. 
 
 Female avarice. Woman a help meet. Mistaken notions. 
 
 next hour, if others happen to be present, she has 
 plenty of smiles ; the next she is giggling or caper- 
 ing about ; and the next singing to the motion of a 
 lazy needle, or perhaps weeping over a novel. 
 And this is called sentiment ! She is a woman of 
 feeling and good taste ! 
 
 7 . INDUSTRY. 
 
 Let not the individual whose eye catches the 
 word industry^ at the beginning of this division of 
 my subject, condemn me as degrading females to 
 the condition of mere wheels in a machine for 
 money-making; for I mean no such thing. There 
 is nothing more abhorrent to the soul of a sensible 
 man than female avarice. The ‘spint of a man’ 
 may sustain him, while he sees avaricious and 
 miserly individuals among his own sex, though the 
 sight is painful enough, even here; but a female 
 miser, ‘ who can bear ? ’ 
 
 Still if woman is intended to be a ‘help meet,’ 
 for the other sex, I know of no reason why she 
 should not be so in physical concerns, as well as 
 mental and moral. I know not by what rule it is 
 that many resolve to remain for ever in celibacy, 
 unless they believe their companion can ‘ support ’ 
 them, without labor. I have sometimes even 
 doubted whether any person who makes these de- 
 clarations can be sincere. Yet when I hear people, 
 of both sexes, speak of poverty as a greater calamity 
 than de^th, I am led to think that this dread of 
 
A loud call. 
 
 INDUSTRY. 289 
 
 Every person needs moderate exercise. 
 
 poverty does really exist among both sexes. And 
 there are reasons for believing that some females, 
 bred in fashionable life, look forward to matiimony 
 as a state, of such entire exemption from care and 
 labor, and of such uninterrupted ease, that they 
 would prefer celibacy and even death to those du- 
 ties which scripture, and reason, and common sense, 
 appear to me to enjoin. 
 
 Such persons, whatever may be their other quali- 
 fications, I call upon every young man to avoid, as 
 he w^ould a pestilence. If they are really determin- 
 ed to live and act as mere drones in society, let 
 them live alone. Do not give them an opportunity 
 to spread the infection of so wretched a disease, if 
 3mu can honestly help it. 
 
 The w^oman wdio does not actually prefer action 
 to inaction — industry to idleness — labor to ease — - 
 and who does not steadfiistly resolve to labor mode- 
 rately as long as she lives, whatever may be her 
 circumstances, is unfit for life, social or domestic. 
 It is not for me to say, in what form her labor shall 
 be applied, except in rearing the young. But labor 
 she ought — all she is able — while life and health 
 lasts, at something or other; or she ought not to 
 complain if she suffers the natural penalty ; and she 
 ought to do it with cheerfiilness. 
 
 I like much the quaint remark of a good old 
 lady of ninety. She w^as bred to labor, had labored' 
 through the whole of her long and eventful life/ 
 ^id w^as still at her ‘wheel.’ ‘Why,’ said sh^/ 
 25 
 
290 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Great objects of life. Effects of laziness. 
 
 ‘ people ought to strain every nerve to get property, 
 as a matter of Christian duty.’ 
 
 I should choose to modify this old lady’s remark, 
 and say that, people ought to do all they can without 
 straining their muscles or neiDCs ; not to get proper- 
 ty, but because it is at once, their duty and their 
 happiness. 
 
 The great object of life is to do good. The great 
 object of society is to increase the power to good. 
 Both sexes should aim, in matrimony, at a more ex- 
 tended sphere of usefulness. To increase an estate, 
 merely, is a low and unworthy aim, from which 
 may God preserve the rising generation. Still I 
 must say, that I greatly prefer the avaricious being 
 — a monster though she might be — to the stupid 
 soul who would not lift a finger if she could help it, 
 and who determines to fold her arms whenever she 
 has a convenient opportunity. 
 
 If a female be lazy, there will be lazy domestics, 
 and, what is a great deal worse, children will ac- 
 quire this habit. Every thing, how'ever necessary 
 to be done, will be put off to the last moment, and 
 then it will be done badly, and, in many cases, not 
 at all. The dinner will be too late ; the journey or 
 the visit will be tardy ; inconveniences of all sorts 
 will be continually arising. There will always be a 
 heavy arrear of things unperformed ; and this, even 
 among the most wealthy, is a great evil; for if 
 they have no business imposed upon them by ne- 
 cessity, they make business for themselves. Life 
 
INDUSTRY. 
 
 201 
 
 How to ascertain character. Anecdote. Reflections. 
 
 would be intolerable without il ; and therefore an 
 indolent woman must always be an evil, be her 
 rank or station what it may. 
 
 But, who is to tell whether a girl will make an 
 industrious woman? How is the pur-blind lover 
 especially, to be able to ascertain whether she, 
 whose smiles and dimples and bewitching lips 
 have half bereft him of his senses ; how is he to 
 be able to judge, from any thing that he can see, 
 whether the beloved object will be industrious or 
 lazy ? Why, it is very difficult ; it is a matter 
 that reason has very little to do with. Still there 
 are indications which enable a man, not wholly 
 deprived of the use of his reason, to form a pretty 
 accurate judgment in this matter. 
 
 It was a famous story some years ago, that a 
 young man, who was courting one of three sisters, 
 happened to be on a visit to her, when all the three 
 were present, and when one said to the others, * I 
 wonder where our needle is.’ Upon which he 
 withdrew, as soon as was consistent with the rules 
 of politeness, resolving to think no more of a girl 
 who possessed a needle only in partnership, and 
 who, it appeared, was not too well informed as to 
 the place where even that share was deposited. 
 
 This was, to be sure, a very flagrant instance of 
 a want of industry; for, if the third part of the 
 use of a needle satisfied her, when single, it was 
 reasonable to anticipate that marriage would ban- 
 ish that useful implement altogether. But such 
 
^92 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 
 
 Unfavorable indications. Temper known by manner of eating. 
 
 instances are seldom suffered to come in contact 
 with the eyes and ears of the lover. There are, 
 however, as I have already said, certain rules ^ 
 which, if attended to with care, will serve as pretty 
 sure guides. 
 
 And, first, if you find the tongue lazy, you may 
 be nearly certain that the hands and feet are not 
 very industrious. By laziness of the tongue I do 
 not mean silence; but, I mean, a slow and soft 
 utterance ; a sort of sighing out of the words, in- 
 stead of speaking them ; a sort of letting the sounds 
 fall out, as if the party were sick at stomach. The 
 pronunciation of an industrious person is gener- 
 ally quick^ and distinct; the voice, if not strong, 
 firm at the least. Not masculine, but as feminine 
 as possible; not a croak nor a hawl^ but a quick, 
 distinct, and sound voice. 
 
 One writer insists that the motion of those little 
 members of the body, the teeth, are very much in 
 harmony with the operations of the mind; and 
 a very observing gentleman assures me that he 
 can judge pretty accurately of the temper, and in- 
 deed of the general character of a child, by his 
 manner of eating. And I have no doubt of the 
 fact. Nothing is more obvious than that the tem- 
 per of the child who is so greedy as to swallow 
 down his food habitually, without masticating it, 
 must be very different from that of him who habit- 
 ually eats slowl}^ Hunger, I know, will quicken 
 ihe jaws in either case, but I am supposing them 
 on an equal footing in this respect. 
 
EARLY RISING, 
 
 293 
 
 Evils of late rising. 
 
 Various marks of industry. 
 
 Another mark of industry is, a quick step, and a 
 somewhat heavy tread, showing that the foot comes 
 down with a hearty good will. If the body lean a 
 little forward, and the eyes keep steadily in the 
 same direction, while the feet are going, so much 
 the better, for these discover earnestness to arrive 
 at the intended point. I do not like, and I never 
 liked, your sauntering, soft-stepping girls, who 
 move as if they were perfectly indifferent as to the 
 result. And, as to the love part of the story, who 
 ever expects ardent and lasting affection from one 
 of these sauntering girls, will, when too latej find 
 his mistake. The character is much the same 
 throughout ; and probably no man ever yet saw a 
 sauntering girl, who did not, when married, make 
 an indifferent wife, and a cold-hearted mother; 
 cared very little for, either by husband or children ; 
 and, of course, having no store of those blessings 
 which are the natural resources to apply to in sick- 
 ness and in old age. 
 
 8. EARLY RISING. 
 
 Early rising is another mark of industry; and 
 though, in the higher stations of life, it may be of 
 no importance in a mere pecuniary point of view, 
 it is, even there, of importance in other respects ; 
 for it is rather difficult to keep love alive towards 
 a woman who never sees the dew, never beholds 
 the rising sun, and who constantly comes directly 
 from a reeking bed to the breakfast table, and ther^ 
 25 ^ 
 
^4 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Force of habit. Friendly counsel. Apology. 
 
 chews, without appetite, the choicest morsels of 
 human food. A man might, perhaps, endure this 
 for a month or two, without being disgusted ; hut 
 not much longer. 
 
 As to people in the middle rank of life, where a 
 living and a provision for children is to be sought 
 by labor of some sort or other, late rising in the 
 wife is certain I'uin ; and rarely will you find an 
 early-rising wife, who had been a late-rising girl. 
 If brought up to late rising, she will like it ; it will 
 be her liabit ; she will, vrhen married, never want 
 excuses for indulging in the habit. At first she will 
 be indulged without bounds ; and to make a change 
 afterwards w^l be difficult, for it wdll be deemed 
 a wrong done to her ; she will ascribe it to dimin- 
 ished affection. A quarrel must ensue, or, the hus- 
 band must submit to be ruined, or, at the very 
 least, to see half the fruit of his labor snored and 
 lounged away. 
 
 And, is this being unreasonably harsh ^ or severe 
 Vpon woman By no means. It arises from an 
 ardent desire to promote the happiness, and to add 
 to the natural, legitimate, and salutary influence 
 of the female sex. The tendency of this advice is 
 to promote the preserv’^ation of their health ; to pro- 
 long the duration of their beauty; to cause them 
 to be loved to the last day of their lives ; and to 
 give them, during the whole of those lives, that 
 weight and consequence, and respect, of which 
 laziness would render them wholly unworthy. 
 
FRUGALITY. 295 
 
 of extravagance. Its results, especially to the lower classes. 
 
 9 . FRUGALITY. 
 
 This means the contrary of extravagance. It 
 does not mean stinginess ; it does not mean pinch- 
 ing ; but it rneans an abstaining from all unneces- 
 sary expenditure, and all unnecessary use of goods 
 of any and of every sort. It is a quality of great 
 importance, whether the rank in life be high or 
 low. 
 
 Some people are, indeed, so rich, they have such 
 an over-abundance of money and goods, that how 
 to get rid of them would, to a spectator, seem to 
 be their only difficulty. How many individuals 
 of fine estates, have been ruined and degraded 
 by the extravagance of their wives! More fre- 
 quently by their own extravagance, perhaps ; but, 
 in numerous instances, by that of those whose 
 duty it is to assist in upholding their stations by 
 husbanding their fortunes. 
 
 If this be the case amongst the opulent, who 
 have estates to draw upon, what must be the con- 
 sequences of a want of frugality in the middle and 
 lower ranks of life ? Here it must be fatal, and 
 especially among that description of persons whose 
 wives have, in many cases, the receiving as well 
 as the expending of money. In such a case, there 
 wants nothing but extravagance in the wife to 
 make ruin as inevitable as the arrival of old age. 
 
 To obtain security against this is very difficult ; 
 yet, if the lover be not quite blind, he may ea,sily 
 
296 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 
 
 Indications of extravagance. Efforts to disguise povert)’’. 
 
 discover a propensity towards extravagance. The 
 object of his addresses will, nine times out of ten, 
 never be the manager of a house; but she must 
 have her dress, and other little matters under her 
 control. If she be costly in these ; if, in these, she 
 step above her rank, or even to the top of it ; if she 
 purchase all she is able to purchase, and prefer the 
 showy to the useful, the gay and the fragile to the 
 less sightly and more durable, he may be sure that 
 the disposition will cling to her through life. If 
 he perceive in her a taste for costly food, costly 
 furniture, costly amusements ; if he find her love 
 of gratification to be bounded only by her want of 
 means ; if he find her full of admiration of the 
 trappings of the rich, and of desire to be able to 
 imitate them, he may be pretty sure that she will 
 not spare his purse, when once she gets her hand 
 into it ; and, therefore, if he can bid adieu to her 
 charms, the sooner he does it, the better. 
 
 Some of the indications of extravagance in a 
 lady are ear-rings, broaches, bracelets, buckles, 
 necklaces, diamonds, (real or mock,) and nearly 
 all the ornaments which women put upon their 
 persons. 
 
 These things may be more proper in palaces, 
 or in scenes resembling palaces; but, when the}^ 
 make their appearance amongst people in the mid- 
 dle rank of life, where, after all, they only serve to 
 show that poverty in the parties which they wish 
 to disguise; when the mean, tawdry things inafe 
 
FRUGALITY. 
 
 297 
 
 Reason and broaches. 
 
 One form of self destruction. 
 
 their appearance in this rank of life, the}^ are the 
 sure indications of a disposition that will always be 
 sti'aining at what it can never attain. 
 
 To marry a girl of this disposition is ideally self- 
 destruction. You never can have either property 
 or peace. Earn her a horse to ride, she will want 
 a gig: earn the gig, she will want a chariot: get 
 her that, she will long for a coach and four : and, 
 from stage to stage, she will torment you to the 
 end of her or your days; for, still there will be 
 somebody with a finer equipage than you can give 
 her ; and, as long as this is the case, you will never 
 have rest. Reason would tell her, that she could 
 never be at the top; that she must stop at some 
 point short of that ; and that, therefore, all expenses 
 in tlie rivalship are so much thrown away. But, 
 reason and broaches and bracelets seldom go in 
 company. The girl who has not the sense to per- 
 ceive that her person is disfigured and not beauti- 
 fied by parcels of brass and tin, or even gold and 
 silver, as well to regret, if she dare not oppose the 
 tyranny of absurd fashions, is not entitled to a full 
 measure of the confidence of any individual. 
 
298 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN^S GUIDE. 
 
 Love and personal neglect incompatible. A question in ethics. 
 
 10. PERSONAL NEATNESS. 
 
 There never yet was, and there never will be 
 sincere and ardent love, of long duration, where 
 personal neatness is w^holly neglected. I do nor 
 say that there are not those who would live peace- 
 ably and even contentedly in these circumstances. 
 But what I contend for is this: that there never 
 can exist, for any length of time, ardent affection^ in 
 any man towards a woman who neglects neatness, 
 either in her person, or in her house affairs. 
 
 Men may be careless as to their own person; 
 they may, from the nature of their business, or 
 from their want of time to adhere to neatness in 
 dress, be slovenly in their own dress and habits; 
 but, they do not relish this in their wives, who 
 must still have charms; and charms and neglect 
 of the person seldom go together. I do not, of 
 course, approve of it even in men. 
 
 We may, indeed, lay it down as a rule of al- 
 most universal application, that supposing all other 
 things to be equal, he who is most guilty of personal 
 neglect; will be the most ignorant and the most 
 vicious. Why there should be, universally, a con- 
 nection between slovenliness, ignorance, and vice, 
 is a question I have no room in this work to dis- 
 cuss. 
 
 I am well acquainted with one whole family 
 who neglect their persons from principle. The 
 gentleman, who is a sort of new light in religious 
 
PERSONAL NEATNESS.- 
 
 299 
 
 An anecdote. Indications of neatness in person. 
 
 concerns, will tell you that the true Christian should 
 ‘ slight the hovel, as beneath his care.’ But there 
 is a want of intelligence, and even common re- 
 finement in the family, that certainly does not and 
 cannot add much to their own happiness, or re- 
 commend religion — aside from the fact that it 
 greatly annoys their neighbors. And though the 
 head of the family observes many external duties 
 with Jewish strictness, neither he nor any of its 
 members are apt to bridle their tongues, or remem- 
 ber that on ordinary as well as special occasions they 
 are bound to ‘ do all to the glory of God.’ As to the 
 connection of mind with matter — I mean the de- 
 pendence of mind and soul on body, they are 
 wholly ignorant. 
 
 It is not dress that the husband wants to be per- 
 petual : it is not finery ; but cleanliness in every 
 tning. Women generally dress enough, especial- 
 ly when they go abroad. This occasional cleanli- 
 ness is not the thing that a husband wants: he 
 wants it always ; in-doors as well as out ; by night 
 as well as by day ; on the floor as well as on the 
 table ; and, however he may complain about the 
 trouble and the ‘ expense ’ of it, he would complain 
 more if it were neglected. 
 
 The indications of female neatness are, first, 
 a clean sldn. The hands and face will usually be 
 clean, to be sure, if there be soap and water with- 
 in reach; but if on observing other parts of the 
 head besides the face, you make discoveries indi- 
 
Si)0 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Neatness in dress. Manner of putting on clothing. 
 
 eating a different character, the sooner you cease 
 your visits the better. I hope, now, tliat no young 
 woman who may chance to see this book, will be 
 offended at this, and think me too severe on her 
 sex. I am only telling that which all men tliink ; 
 and, it is a decided advantage to them to be fully 
 informed of our thoughts ort the subject. If any 
 one, who reads this, shall find, upon self-examina- 
 tion, that she is defective in this respect, let her 
 take the hint, and correct the defect. 
 
 In the di'ess, you can, amongst rich people, find 
 little whereon to form a judgment as to cleanliness, 
 because they have not only the dress prepared for 
 them, but put upon them into the bargain. But, in 
 the .middle ranks of life, the dress is a good criterion 
 in two respects : first, as to its color ; for if the white 
 be a sort of yellow, cleanly 1 lands would have been 
 at work to prevent that. A ivhite-yellow cravat, or 
 shirt, on a man, speaks at once the character of his 
 wife ; and, you may be assured, that she will not 
 take with your dress pains which she has never 
 taken with her own. 
 
 Then, the manner of putting ori the dress, is no 
 bad foundation for judging. If this be careless, and 
 slovenly, if it do not fit properly, — no matter for its 
 mean quality ; mean as it may be, it may be neatly 
 and trimly put on — if it be slovenly put on, I say, 
 take care of yourself; for, you will soon find to 
 your cost, that a sloven in one thing, is a sloven in 
 all things. The plainer people, judge greatly front 
 
Going slipshod. 
 
 A GOOD TEMPER. 301 
 
 Importance of a permanently good temper. 
 
 the state of the covering of the ankles ; and, if that 
 be not clean and tight, they conclude that the rest is 
 not as it ought to be. Look at the shoes ! If they 
 be trodden on one side, loose on the foot, or run 
 down at the heel, it is a very bad sign ; and as to 
 going slipshod, though at coming down in the 
 morning, and even before daylight, make up your 
 mind to a rope, rather than live with a slipshod 
 woman. 
 
 How much do women lose by inattention to 
 these matters ! Men, in general, say nothing about 
 it to their wives, but they think about it; they 
 envy their more lucky neighbors, and in numerous 
 cases, consequences the most serious arise from 
 this apparently trifling cause. Beauty is valuable ; 
 it is one of the ties, and a strong one too ; but it 
 cannot last to old age ; whereas the charm of clean- 
 liness never ends but with life itself. It has been 
 said that the sweetest flowers, when they really 
 become putrid, are the most offensive. So the 
 most beautiful woman, if found with an uncleansed 
 skin, is, in my estimation, the most disagreeable. 
 
 11 . A GOOD TEMPER. 
 
 This is a very difficult thing to ascertain before- 
 hand. Smiles are cheap; they are easily put on 
 for the occasion ; and, besides, the frowns are, ac- 
 cording to the lover’s whim, interpreted into the 
 Contrary. By ‘ good temper,’ I do not mean an easy 
 temper, a serenity which nothing disturbs ; for that 
 26 
 
302 
 
 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Evils of sullenness. Not easily cured. Q.ueruIousnesf9. 
 
 is a mark of laziness. Sullenness, if you be not 
 too blind to perceive it, is a temper to be avoided 
 by all means. A sullen man is bad enough ; Avliat, 
 then, must be a sullen woman, and that woman a 
 tvife ; a constant inmate, a companion day and 
 night! Only think of the delight of setting at the 
 same table, and occupying the same chamber, for 
 a week, without exchanging a word all the while ! 
 Very bad to be scolding for such a length of time ; 
 but this is far better than ‘ the sulks,^ 
 
 But if you have your eyes, and look sharp, you 
 will discover symptoms of this, if it unhappily 
 exist. She will, at some time or other, show it to- 
 wards some one or other of the family ; or, per- 
 haps, towards yourself ; and you may be quite sure 
 that, in this respect, marriage will not mend her. 
 Sullenness arises from capricious displeasure not 
 founded in reason. The party takes offence un- 
 justifiably; is unable to frame a complaint, and 
 therefore expresses displeasure by silence. The 
 remedy for it is, to suffer it to take its full swing , 
 but it is better not to have the disease in your 
 house ; and to be married to it, is little short of mad- 
 ness. 
 
 Queridousness is a great fault. No man, and, 
 especially, no looman, likes to hear a continual plain- 
 tiveness. That she complain, and roundly complain^ 
 of your want of punctuality, of your coolness, of 
 your neglect, of your liking the company of others: 
 these are all very well, more especially as they are 
 
INCONSTANCY AND SEDUCTION. 
 
 311 
 
 Ca*« of deception. Worst of injuries. An example 
 
 quently greatly mischievous, notwithstanding. You 
 'do not, indeed, actually, in so many words, promise 
 to many ; but the general tenor of your language 
 ana deportment has that meaning ; you know that 
 your meaning is so understood ; and if you have 
 not such meaning ; if you be fixed by some previous 
 engagement with, or greater liking for another ; if 
 you know you are here sowing the seeds of dis- 
 appointment; and if you persevere, in spite of 
 the admonitions of conscience, you are guilty of 
 deliberate deception, injustice and cruelty You 
 make to God an ungrateful return for those en- 
 dowments which have enabled you to achieve this 
 inglorious and unmanly triumph ; and if, as is fre- 
 quently the case, you glory in such triumph, you 
 may have person, riches, talents to excite envy; 
 but every just and humane man will abhor your 
 heart. 
 
 The most direct injury against the spiritual na- 
 ture of a fellow being is, by leading him into vice. 
 I have heard one young man, who was entrusted 
 six days in the week to form the immortal minds 
 and hearts of a score or two of his fellow beings, 
 deliberately boast of the number of the other sex he 
 had misled. What can be more base ? And must 
 not a terrible retribution await such Heaven daring 
 miscreants ? Whether they accomplish their pur- 
 poses by solicitation, by imposing on the judgment, 
 or by powerful compulsion, the wrong is the same, 
 or at least of the same nature; and nothing but 
 
THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Extract from Burgh, There are such monsters as he describes'. 
 
 timely and hearty repentance can save a wretch of 
 this description from punishment, either here or 
 hereafter. 
 
 ‘ Some tempers,’ says Burgh, (for nothing can be 
 more in point than his own words) ‘are so impo- 
 tently ductile, that they can refuse nothing to re- 
 peated solicitation. Whoever takes the advantage 
 of such persons is guilty of the lowest baseness. 
 Yet nothing is more common than for the debauch- 
 ed part of our sex to show their heroism by a poor 
 triumph, over weak, easy, thoughtless woman ! — 
 Nothing is more frequent than to hear them boast 
 of the ruin of that virtue, of which they ought to 
 have been the defenders. “Poor fool! she loved 
 me, and therefore could refuse me nothing.” — Base 
 coward! Dost thou boast of thy conquest ovei 
 one, who, by thy own confession, was disabled 
 for resistance, — disabled by her affection for thy 
 worthless self ! Does affection deserve such a re-^ 
 turn ? Is superior understanding, or rather deeper 
 craft, to be used agamst thoughtless simplicity, and 
 its shameful success to be boasted of? Dost thou 
 pride thyself that thou hast had art enough to de- 
 coy the harmless lamb to thy hand, that thou might- 
 est shed its blood ? ’ 
 
 And yet there are such monsters as Burgh 
 alludes to. There are just such beings scattered 
 up and down even the fairest portions of the world 
 we live in, to mar its beauty. We may hope, for 
 ^he honor of human nature, they are few. He wlio 
 
INCONSTANCY AND SEDUCTION. 313 
 
 We may hope they are few. Appeal to the seducer. 
 
 can bring himself to believe their number to be as 
 great as one in a thousand, may well be disposed 
 to blush 
 
 ‘ And hang his head, to own himself a man.’ 
 
 I have sometimes wished these beings — men 
 they are not — would r^ect, if it were but for one 
 short moment. They will not deny the excellency 
 of the golden rule, of doing to others as they wish 
 others to do by themselves. I say they will not 
 deny it, in theory ; why then should they despise it 
 in practice ? 
 
 Let them think a moment. Let them imagine 
 themselves in the place of the injured party. Could 
 this point be gained ; could they be mduced to re - 
 flect long enough to see the enormity of their guilt 
 as it really is, or as the Father in heaven may be 
 supposed to see it, there might be hope in their 
 case. Or if they find it difficult to view themselves 
 as the injured, let them suppose, rather, a sister or a 
 daughter. What seducer is so lost to all natural 
 affection as not to have his whole soul revolt at 
 the hare thought of having a beloved daughter 
 experience the treatment which he has inflicted? 
 Yet the being whom he has ruined had brothers or 
 parents ; and those brothers had a sister ; and those 
 } parents a daughter ! 
 
 27 
 
314 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Extremes of social life. Cities the worst extreWd'. 
 
 Section IL Licentiousness. 
 
 I wish it were in my power to finish my re- 
 marks in this place, without feeling that I had made 
 an important omission. But such is the tendency 
 of human nature, especially in the case of tho 
 young and ardent, to turn the most valuable bless- 
 ings conferred on man into curses, — and poison, at 
 their very sources, the purest streams of human 
 felicity, — that it wdll be necessary to advert briefiy 
 but plainly to some of the most frequent forms of 
 youthful irregularity. 
 
 Large cities and thinly settled places are the ex- 
 tremes of social life. Here, of course, vice will be 
 found in its worst forms. It is more difficult to 
 say which extreme is worst, among an equal num^ 
 her of individuals ; but probably the city ; for in 
 the country, vice is oftener solitary, and less fre- 
 quently social ; while in the city it is not only social 
 but also solitary. 
 
 A well informed gentleman from New Orleans^ 
 of whose own virtue by the way, I have not the 
 highest confidence, expressed, lately the strongest 
 apprehension that the whole race of young men 
 in our cities, of the present generation, will be 
 rumed. Others have assured me that in the more 
 northern cities, the prospect is little, if any, more 
 favorable. 
 
 It is to be regretted that legislators have not 
 
LICENTIOUSNESS. 
 
 315 
 
 Not alone. 
 
 Preventive measures. A wretched being. 
 
 found out the means of abolishing those haunts in 
 cities which might be appropriately tenned schools 
 of licentiousness, and thus diminishing an aggre- 
 gate of temptation already sufficiently large. But 
 the vices, like their votaries, go in companies. 
 Until, therefore, the various haunts of intempe- 
 rance in eating and drinking, and of gambling and 
 stage-playing, can be broken up, it may be con- 
 sidered vain to hope for the disappearance of those 
 sties of pollution which are their almost mevitable 
 results. We might as well think of drying up the 
 channel of a mighty river, while the fountains 
 which feed it continue to flow as usual. 
 
 There is now in Pennsylvania, — it seems un- 
 necessary to name the place — a man thirty-five 
 years old, with all the infirmities of ^ three score 
 and ten.’ Yet his premature old age, his bending 
 and tottering form, wrinkled face, and hoary head, 
 might be traced to solitary and social licentiousness. 
 
 This man is not alone. There are thousands in 
 every city who are going the same road ; some 
 with slow and cautious steps, others with a fearful 
 rapidity. Thousands of youth on whom high ex- 
 pectations have been placed, are already on the 
 highway that will probably lead down to disease 
 and premature death. 
 
 Could the multitude of once active, sprightly, 
 and promising young men, whose souls detested 
 open vice, and who, without dreaming of danger, 
 only found their way occasionally to a lottery office, 
 
316 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE 
 
 A dismal picture. How the reality would strike us. 
 
 and still more rarely to the theatre or the gambling 
 house, until led on step by step they ventured 
 down those avenues which lead to the chambers 
 of death, from which few ever return, and none 
 uninjured; — could the multitudes of such beings, 
 which in the United States alone, (though admit- 
 ted to be the paradise of the world,) have gone 
 down to infamy through licentiousness, be present- 
 ed to our view,' at once, how would it strike us 
 with horror ! Their very numbers would astonish 
 us, but how much more their appearance ! I am 
 supposing them to appear as they went to the 
 graves, in their bloated and disfigured faces, their 
 emaciated and tottering frames, bending at thirty 
 years of age under the appearance of three or four 
 score ; diseased externally and internally ; and pos- 
 itively disgusting, — not only to the eye, but to 
 some of the other senses. 
 
 One such monster is enough to fill the soul ot 
 those who are but moderately virtuous with horror ; 
 what then would be the effect of beholding thou- 
 sands ? In view of such a scene, is there a young 
 man in the world, who would not form the strong- 
 est resolution not to enter upon a road which ends 
 in wo so remediless ? 
 
 But it should be remembered that these thou- 
 sands were once the friends — the children, the 
 brothers, — yes, sometimes the nearer relatives of 
 other thousands. They had parents, sisters, broth- 
 ers ; sometimes (would it were not true) wives and 
 
LICENTIOUSNESS. 317 
 
 Not a mere fancy sketch, after all. The common apology. 
 
 infants. Suppose the young man whom temptation 
 solicits, were not only to behold the wretched 
 thousands already mentioned, but the many more 
 thousands of dear relatives mourning their loss ; — 
 not by death, for that were tolerable — but by an 
 everlasting destruction from the presence of all 
 purity or excellence. Would he not shrink back 
 from the door which he was about to enter, asham- 
 ed and aghast, and resolve in the strength of his 
 Creator, never more to indulge a thought of a 
 crime so disastrous in its consequences ? 
 
 And let every one remember that the army of 
 ruined immortals which have been here presented 
 to the imagination, is by no means a mere fancy 
 sketch. There is a day to come which will dis- 
 close a scene of which I have given but a faint 
 picture. F or though the thousands who have thus 
 destroyed their own bodies and souls, with then* 
 agonized friends and relatives, are scattered among 
 several millions of their fellow citizens, and, for a 
 time, not a few of them elude the public gaze, yet 
 their existence is as much a reality, as if they were 
 assembled in one place. 
 
 ‘All this,’ it may be said, ‘I have often heard, 
 and it may be true. But it does not apply to me. 
 I am in no danger. You speak of a path, I have 
 never entered; or if 1 have ever done so, I have 
 no idea of returning to it, habitually. I know my 
 own strength ; how far to go, and when and where 
 to stop .’ 
 
818 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Danger of the first step. Preaching. Anecdote of C. S. 
 
 But is there one of all the miserable, in the 
 future world, who did not once think the same? 
 Is there one among the thousands who have thus 
 ruined themselves and those who had been as dear 
 to them as themselves, that did not once feel a proud 
 consciousness that he ‘knew his own strength?’ 
 Yet now where is he ? 
 
 Beware, then. Take not the first step. Nay, in- 
 dulge not for an instant, the thought of a first step. 
 Here you are safe. Every where else is danger. 
 Take one step, and the next is more easy ; the 
 temptation harder to resist. 
 
 Do you call this preaching ? Be it so then. I 
 feel, and deeply too, that your immortal minds, 
 those gems which were created to sparkle and 
 shine in the firmament of heaven, are in danger of 
 having their lustre for ever tarnished, and their 
 brightness everlastingly hid beneath a thicker dark- 
 ness than that which once covered the land of 
 Egypt. 
 
 C. S. was educated by New England parents, in 
 one of the most flourishing of New England vil- 
 lages. He was all that anxious friends could hope 
 or desire ; all that a happy community could love 
 and esteem. As he rose to manhood he evinced 
 a full share of ‘Yankee’ activity and enterprise. 
 Some of the youth in the neighborhood were 
 traders to the southern States, and C. concluded 
 to try his fortune among the rest. 
 
 He was furnished with two excellent horses and 
 
LICENTIOUSNESS. 
 
 319 
 
 Story of C. S. continued. His downfal. His change. 
 
 a wagon, and every thing necessary to ensure suc- 
 cess. His dieatre of action was the low country of 
 Virginia and North Carolina, and his head- quarters, 
 N , whither he used to return after an excur- 
 
 sion of a month or six week, to spend a few days 
 in tliat dissipated village. 
 
 Young C. gradually yielded tjo the temptations 
 which the place afforded. First, he engaged in oc- 
 casional ‘drinking bouts,’ next in gaming; lastly, 
 he frequented a house of ill fame. This was about 
 the year 1819. 
 
 At the end of the year 1820, 1 saw him, but — 
 now changed! The eye that once beamed witk 
 health, and vigor, and cheerfulness, was now dim- 
 med and flattened. The countenance which once 
 shone with love and good-will to man, was pale 
 and suspicious, or occasionally suffused with stag- 
 nant, and sickly, and crimson streams. The teetli, 
 wliich were once as white as ivory, were now 
 blackened by the use of poisonous medicine, given 
 to counteract a still more poisonous and loathsome 
 disease. The frame, which had once been as erect 
 as the stately cedar of Lebanon, was, at the early 
 age of thirty, beginning to bend as with years. The 
 voice, which once spoke forth the sentiments of a 
 soul of comparative purity, now not unfrequently 
 gave vent to the licentious song, the impure jest, 
 and the most shocking oaths, and heaven-daring 
 impiety and blasphemy. The hands which were 
 once like the spirit within, were now not unfre- 
 
320 THE rOUNG man’s guide 
 
 Story of C. S. concluded. His prospect. Gloomy reflections. 
 
 quently joined in the dance, with the vilest of the 
 vile ! 
 
 I looked, too, at his external circumstances 
 Once he had friends whom he loved to see, and 
 from whom he was glad to hear. Now it was a 
 matter of indifference both to him and them wheth- 
 er they ever saw each other. The hopes of parents, 
 and especially of ‘ her that bare him ’ were laid in 
 the dust; and to the neighborhood of which he 
 had once been the pride and the ornament, he was 
 fast becoming as if he had never been. 
 
 He had travelled first with two horses, next with 
 one; afterward on foot with a choice assortment 
 of jewelry and other pedlar’s wares; now his as- 
 sortment was reduced to a mere handful. He 
 could purchase to the value of a few dollars, take 
 a short excursion, earn a small sum, and return — ^ 
 not to a respectable house, as once, — but to the 
 lowest of resorts, to expend it. 
 
 Here, in 1821, I last saw him ; a fair candidate 
 for the worst contagipus diseases which occasion- 
 ally infest that region, and a pretty sure victim to 
 the first severe attack. Or if he should even es- 
 cape these, with the certainty before him of a very 
 short existence, at best. 
 
 This is substantially the history of many a young 
 man whose soul was once as spotless as that of C. 
 S. Would that young men knew their strength, 
 and their dignity ; and would put forth but half the 
 energy that God has given them. Then they 
 
LICENTIOUSNESS. 321 
 
 Warning to the young. Substitutes for dissipation proposed. 
 
 would never approach the confines of those regions 
 of dissipation, for when they have once entered 
 them, the soul and the body are often ruined forever. 
 
 There are in every city hundreds of young men 
 — • I r©gret to say it, — who should heed this warn- 
 ing voice. JVow they are happily situated, beloved, 
 respected. They are engaged in useful and re- 
 spectable avocations, and looking forward to bright- 
 er and better scenes. Let them beware lest there 
 should be causes in operation, calculated to sap 
 the foundations of the castle which fancy’s eye has 
 builded, (and which might even be realized) ; and 
 lest their morning sun, which is now going forth in 
 splendor, be not shrouded in darkness ere it has yet 
 attained its meridian height. 
 
 Every city affords places and means of amuse- 
 ment, at once rational, satisfying, and improving. 
 Such are collections of curiosities, natural and arti- 
 ficial, lectures on science, debating clubs, lyceums, 
 &c. Then the libraries which abound, afford a 
 source of never ending amusement and instruction. 
 Let these suffice. At least, ‘touch not, handle not’ 
 that which an accumulated and often sorrowful ex- 
 perience has shown to be accursed. 
 
 Neither resort to solitary vice. If this practice 
 should not injure your system immediately, it will 
 in the end. I am sorry to be obliged to advert to 
 this subject; but I know there is occasion. Youth, 
 especially those who lead a confined life, seek oc- 
 casional excitement. Such sometimes resort to 
 
322 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 A destructive habit. How it debases. Common mistake. 
 
 this lowest, — I may say most destructive of prac- 
 tices. Such is the constitution of things, as the 
 Author of Nature has established it, that if every 
 other vicious act were to escape its merited punish- 
 ment in this world, the one in question could not. 
 Whatever its votaries may think, it never fails, in 
 a single instance, to injure them, personally ; and 
 consequently their posterity, should any succeed 
 them. 
 
 It is not indeed true that the foregoing vices do 
 of themselves, produce all this mischief directly; 
 but as Dr. Paley has well said, criminal intercourse 
 ‘corrupts and depraves the mind more than any 
 single vice whatsoever.’ It gradually benumbs the 
 conscience, and leads on, step by step, to those 
 blacker vices at which the youth would once have 
 shuddered. 
 
 But debasing as this vice is, it is scarcely more 
 so than solitary gratification. The fbrmer is not 
 always at hand ; is attended, it may be, with ex- 
 pense ; and with more or less danger of exposure. 
 But the latter is practicable whenever temptation 
 or rather imagination solicits, and appears to the 
 morbid eye of sense, to be attended with no haz- 
 ard. Alas ! what a sad mistake is made here ! It 
 is a fact well established by medical men, that 
 every error on this point is injurious ; and that the 
 eonstitution is often more surely or more effect- 
 ually impaired by causes which do not appear 
 to injure it in the least, than by occasional and 
 
LiCENTtOliSNESS. 323 
 
 A set of wretches-. Particular directionsr 
 
 heavief shocks, which rouse it to a reaction. The 
 one case may be compared to daily tippling^ the 
 other to those periodical drunken frolics, which, 
 having an interval of weeks or months between 
 them, give the system time to recover, in part, 
 (but in part only) from the violence it had sus- 
 tained. 
 
 I wish to put the younger portion of my readers 
 upon their guard against a set of wretches who 
 take pains to initiate youth, while yet almost chih 
 dren, into the practice of the vice to which I have 
 here adverted. Domestics — where the young are 
 too familiar with them — have been known to be 
 thus ungrateful to their employers. There are, 
 however, people of several classes, who do not 
 hesitate to mislead, in this manner. 
 
 But the misfortune is, that this book will not be 
 apt to fall into the hands of those to whom these 
 remarks apply, till the ruinous habit is already 
 formed. And then it is that counsel sometimes 
 comes too late. Should these pages meet the eye 
 of any who have been misled, let them remember 
 that they have begun a career which multitudes 
 repent bitterly; and from which few are apt to 
 return. But there have been instances of reform ; 
 therefore none ought to despair. ‘ What man has 
 ^done, man may do.’ 
 
 They should first set before their minds the na- 
 ture of the practice, and the evils to which it ex- 
 poses. But here comes the difficulty. What are its 
 
324 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 
 
 The point argued. The error exposed. Appeal. 
 
 legitimate evils ? They know indeed that the 
 written laws of God condemn it ; but the punish- 
 ment which those laws threaten, appears to be re- 
 mote and uncertain. Or if not, they are apt to re- 
 gard it as the punishment of excess, merely. They, 
 prudent souls, would not, for the world, plunge 
 into excess. Besides, Hhey injure none but them- 
 selves^^ they tell us. 
 
 Would it were true that they injured none but 
 themselves! Would there were no generations yet 
 unborn to suffer by inheriting feeble constitutions, 
 or actual disease, from their progenitors ! 
 
 Suppose, however, they really injured nobody 
 but themselves. Have they a right to do even this ? 
 They will not maintain, for one moment, that they 
 have a right to take away their own life. By what 
 right, then, do they allow themselves to shorten it, 
 or diminish its happiness while it lasts 
 
 Here the question recurs again: Does solitary 
 gratification actually shorten life, or diminish its 
 happiness ? 
 
 The very fact that the laws of God forbid it, is 
 an affirmative answer to this question. For noth- 
 ing is more obvious than that all other vices which 
 that law condemns, stand in the way of our present 
 happmess, as well as the happiness of futurity. Is 
 this alone an exception to the general rule ? 
 
 But I need not make my appeal to this kind of 
 authority. You rely on human testimony. You 
 believe a thousand things which yourselves never 
 
LICENTIOUSNESS. 325 
 
 Medical testimony. Flea of the sensualist. The reply. 
 
 saw or heard. Why do you believe them, except 
 upon testimony — I mean given either verbally, or, 
 what is the same thing, in books ? 
 
 Now if the accumulated testimony of medical 
 writers from the days of Galen, and Celsus, and 
 Hippocrates, to the present hour, could have any 
 weight with you, it would settle the point at once. 
 I have collected, briefly, the results of medical tes- 
 timony on this subject, in the next chapter; but if 
 you will take my statements for the present, I vvill 
 assure you that 1 have before me documents enough 
 to fill half a volume like this, from those who have 
 studied deeply these subjects, whose united lan- 
 guage is, that the practice in question, indulged in 
 any degree^ is destructive to body and mind; and 
 that although, in vigorous young men, no striking 
 evil may for some tinie appear, yet the punishment 
 can no more be evaded, except by early death, than 
 the motion of the earth can be hindered. And all 
 this, too, without taking into consideration the ter- 
 rors of a judgment to come. 
 
 But why, then, some may ask, are animal pro- 
 pensities given us, if they are not to be indulged ? 
 The appropriate reply is, they are to be indulged ; 
 but it is only in accordance with the laws of God ; 
 never otherwise. And the wisdom of these laws, 
 did they not rest on other and better proof, is 
 amply confirmed by that great body of medical ex- 
 perience already mentioned. God has delegated 
 to man, a sort of suhcreative power to perpetuate 
 
 m 
 
320 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 The case plainly stated. Objection. Further explanatiotf. 
 
 his own race. Such a wonderful work required 
 a wonderful apparatus. And such is furnished. 
 The texture of the organs for this purpose is of the 
 most tender and delicate kind, scarcely equalled by 
 that of the eye, and quite as readily injured; and 
 this fact ought to be known, and considered. But 
 instead of leaving to human choice or caprice the 
 execution of the power thus delegated, the great 
 Creator has made it a matter of duty ; and has con- 
 nected with the lawful discharge of that duty, as 
 with all others, enjoyment But when this enjoy- 
 ment is sought in any wa}^ not in accordance with 
 the laws prescribed by reason and revelation, we 
 diminish (whatever giddy youth may suppose,) the 
 sum total of our own happiness. Now this is not 
 the cold speculation of age, or monkish austerity. 
 It is sober matter of fact. 
 
 It is said that young men are sometimes in cir- 
 cumstances which forbid their conforming to these 
 laws, were they disposed to do so. 
 
 Not so often however, as is commonly supposed. 
 Marriage is not such a mountain of difficulty as 
 many imagine. This I have already attempted to 
 show. One circumstance to be considered, in con- 
 nection with this subject, is, that in any society, the 
 more there is of criminal indulgence, whether 
 secret or social, the more strongly are excuses for 
 neglecting matrimony urged. Every step which 
 a young man takes in forbidden paths, affords him 
 a plea in behalf of the next. The farther he 
 
l.iCENTIOUSNESS. 327 
 
 Late marriages. A question of health. Celibacy considered. 
 
 goes, the less the probability of his returning to 
 the ways of purity, or entering those of domestic 
 felicity. 
 
 People in such places as London and Paris, mar- 
 ry much later in life, upon the average, than in 
 country places. And is not the cause obvious? 
 And is not the same cause beginning to produce 
 similar effects in our own American cities ? 
 
 But suppose celibacy in some cases, to he un- 
 avoidable, can a life of continence, in the fullest 
 sense of the term, be favorable to health'? This 
 question is answered by those to whose writings 1 
 have already referred, in the affirmative. But it is 
 also answered by facts, though from the nature of 
 the case these facts are not always easy of access. 
 We have good reason to believe that Sir Isaac 
 Newton and Dr. Fothergill, never for once in their 
 lives deviated from the strict laws of rectitude on 
 this point. And we have no evidence that they 
 were sufferers for their rigid course of virtue. The 
 former certainly enjoyed a measure of health and 
 reached an age, to which few, in any circumstan- 
 ces, attain ; and the latter led an active and useful 
 life to nearly three-score and ten. There are living 
 examples of the same purity of character, but they 
 cannot, of course, be mentioned in this work. 
 
 Several erroneous view^s in regard to the animal 
 economy which have led to the very general opin- 
 ion that a life of celibacy — strictly so, I mean — 
 cannot be a life of health, might here be exposed, 
 
2 ^ THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 A wish. Study of the human constitution. Word to parents. 
 
 did either the limits or the nature of the work per- 
 mit. It is not that a state of celibacy — entirely so, 
 I always mean — is positively injurious; but that 
 a state of matrimony is more useful; and, as a gene- 
 ral rule, attended with more happiness. 
 
 It is most ardently to be hoped, that the day is 
 not far distant when every young man will study 
 the laws and functions of the human frame for him- 
 self, This would do more towards promoting in- 
 dividual purity and public happiness, than all the 
 reasoning in the world can accomplish without it. 
 Men, old or young, must see for themselves how 
 ‘fearfully’ as well as ‘wonderfully’ they are made, 
 before they can have a thorough and abiding con- 
 viction of the nature of disohediencey or of the 
 penalties that attend, as well as follow it. And in 
 proportion, as the subject is studied and under- 
 stood, may we not hope celibacy will become less 
 frequent, and marriage — honorable, and, if you 
 please, eaiiy marriage — be more highly estimated ? 
 
 This work is not addressed to parents ; but 
 should it be read by any who have sons, at an age, 
 and in circumstances, which expose them to tempt- 
 ation, and in a way which will be very apt to se- 
 cure their fall, let them beware."^ 
 
 Parents who inform their children on this subject, 
 generally begin too late. Familiar conversational explana- 
 tion, begun as soon as there is reason to apprehend danger, 
 and judiciously pursued, is perhaps the most successful 
 method of preventing evil 
 
LICENTIOUSNESS. 329 
 
 We are arbiters of our own fate. Errors in education. 
 
 Still, the matter must be finally decided by the 
 young themselves. They, in short, must determine 
 the question vrhether they will rise in the scale of 
 being, through every period of their existence, or 
 sink lower and lower in the depths of degradation 
 and wo. They must be, after all, the arbiters of 
 their own fate. No influences, human or divine, 
 will ever/orce them to happiness. 
 
 The remainder of this section will be devoted 
 to remarks on the causes which operate to form 
 licentious feelings and habits in the young. My 
 limits, however, will permit me to do little more 
 than mention them. And if some of them might 
 be addressed with more force to parents than to 
 young men, let it be remembered that the young 
 may he parer^ts, and if they cannot recall the past, 
 and correct the errors in their own education, they 
 can, at least, hope to prevent the same errors in the 
 education of others. 
 
 1 FALSE DELICACY. 
 
 Too much of real delicacy can never be incul- 
 cated ; but in our early management, we seem to 
 implant the false^ instead of the true. The lan- 
 guage we use, in answering the curious questions 
 of children, often leads to erroneous associations 
 of ideas; and it is much better to be silent. By 
 the falsehoods which we think it necessary to tell, 
 we often excite still greater curiosity, instead of' 
 satisfying that which already exists. I will no® 
 28 ^ 
 
330 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Another error in education. Diseased curiosity. Danger. 
 
 undertake to decide what ought to be done ; but 
 silence, I am certain, would be far better than falser 
 hood. 
 
 Tliere is another error, which is laid deeper still, 
 because it begins earlier. I refer to the half Mor 
 liammedan practice of separating the two sexes at 
 school. This practice, I am aware has strong 
 advocates ; but it seems to me they cannot have 
 watched closely the early operations of their own 
 minds, and observed how curiosity was awakened, 
 and wanton imaginations fostered by distance, and 
 apparant and needless reserve. 
 
 2 . LICENTIOUS BOOKS, PICTURES, &C. 
 
 This unnatural reserve, and the still more im-^ 
 natural falsehoods already mentioned, prepare the 
 youthful mind for the reception of any thing which 
 has the semblance of information on the points to 
 which curiosity is directed. And now comes the 
 danger. The world abounds in impure publica- 
 tions, which almost all children, (boys especially,) 
 at sometime or other, contrive to get hold of, in 
 spite of ^parental vigilance. If these books con- 
 tained truth, and nothing but truth, their clandes- 
 tine circulation would do less mischief. But they 
 generally impart very little information which is 
 really valuable ; on the contrary they contain much 
 falsehood ; especially when they profess to instruct 
 on certain important subjects. Let me repeat it 
 ^hen, they cannot be relied on ; and in the langua^e^ 
 
LEWD BOOKS, PICTURES, &C. 331 
 
 Licentious paintings and engravings. The stage. The shop. 
 
 of another book, on another subject ; ‘ He that 
 trustetli ’ to them, ‘ is a fool.’ 
 
 The same remarks might be extended, and with 
 even more justice, to licentious paintings and en- 
 gravings, wliich circulate in various ways. And 
 I am sorry to include in this charge not a few 
 which are publicly exhibited for sale, in the win- 
 dows of our shops. You may sometimes find 
 obscene pictures under cover of a watch-case or 
 snuff box. In short, there w^ould often seem to be 
 a general combination of human and infernal ef- 
 forts to render the juvenile thoughts and affections 
 impure ; and not a few parents themselves enter 
 into the horrible league. 
 
 On this subject Dr. Dwight remarks; ‘The num- 
 bers of the poet, the delightful melody of song, the 
 fascination of the chisel, and the spell of the pencil, 
 have been all volunteered in the service of Satan 
 for the moral destruction of unhappy man. To 
 finish this work of malignity the stage has lent all 
 its splendid apparatus of mischief; the shop has 
 been converted into a show-box of temptations; 
 and its owner into a pander of iniquity.’ ^nd in 
 another place ; ‘ Genius, in every age, and in every 
 country, has, to a great extent, prostituted its ele- 
 vated powers for the deplorable purpose of seduc- 
 ing thoughtless minds to this sin’ Are these re- 
 marks too sweeping ? In my own opinion, not at 
 all. Let him, who doubts, take a careful survey of 
 the whole of this dangerous ground. 
 
332 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Licentious songs. Anecdote of a teacher. 
 
 3 . OBSCENE AND IMPROPER SONGS. 
 
 The prostitution of the melody of song, men- 
 tioned by Dr. Dwight, reminds me of another seri- 
 ous evil. Many persons, and even not a few intelli- 
 gent parents, seem to think that a loose or immoral 
 song cannot much injure their children, especially 
 if they express their disapprobation of it afterwards. 
 As if the language of the tongue could give the lie 
 to the language of the heart, already written, and 
 often deeply, in the eye and countenance. For it is 
 notorious that a considerable proportion of parents 
 tolerate songs containing very improper sentiments, 
 and hear them with obvious interest, how much 
 soever they may wish their children to have a bet- 
 ter and purer taste. The common ‘ love songs’ are 
 little better than those already mentioned. 
 
 It is painful to think what errors on this subject 
 are sometimes tolerated even, by decent society. 1 
 knew a schoolmaster who did not hesitate to join 
 occasional parties, (embracing, among others, pro- 
 fessedly Christian parents,) for the purpose of 
 spending his long winter evenings, in hearing songs 
 from a very immoral individual, not a few of which 
 were adapted to the most corrupt taste, and unfit to 
 be heard in good society. Yet the community in 
 which he taught was deemed a religious commu- 
 nity ; and the teacher himself prayed in his school, 
 morning and evening! Others I have known to 
 conduct even worse, though perhaps not quite so 
 openly. 
 
DOUBLE ENTENDRE S. 833 
 
 Speeches with double meanings. St. Paul’s directions. 
 
 I mention these things, not to reproach teachers, 
 — for I think their moral character, in this country, 
 generally, far better than their intellectual, — but as 
 a specimen of perversion in the public sentiment ; 
 and also as a hint to all who have the care of the 
 young. Pupils at school, cannot fail to make cor- 
 rect inferences from such facts as the foregoing. 
 
 4 . DOUBLE ENTENDRES. ^ 
 
 By this is meant ’seemingly decent speeches^ with 
 double meanings, I mention these because they 
 prevail, in some parts of the country, to a most 
 alarming degree ; and because parents seem to re- 
 gard them as perfectly harmless. Shall I say — to 
 show the extent of the evil — that they are some- 
 times heard from both parents? Now no serious 
 observer of human life and conduct can doubt that 
 by every species of impure language, whether in 
 the form of hints, innuendoes, double entendres, or 
 plainer speech, impure thoughts are awakened, a 
 licentious imagination inflamed, and licentious pur- 
 poses formed, which would otherwise never have 
 existed. Of all such things an inspired writer has 
 long ago said — and the language is still applica- 
 ble; — ‘ Let them not be so much as named among 
 you.’ 
 
 I have been in families where these loose insin-^ 
 nations, and coarse innuendoes were so common. 
 
 * Pronounced entaunders. 
 
334 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 State of things in some families. Precocity. Its danger. 
 
 that the presence of respectable company scarcely 
 operated as a restraint upon the unbridled tongues, 
 even of the parents ! Many of these things had 
 been repeated so often, and under such circumstan- 
 ces that the children, at a- very early age, perfectly 
 understood their meaning and import. Yet had 
 these very same children asked for direct infor- 
 mation, at this time, on the subjects w^hich had 
 been rendered familiar to them thus incidentally, 
 the parents would have staitled; and would un- 
 doubtedly have repeated to them part of a string 
 of falsehoods, with which they had been in the 
 habit of attempting to ‘ cover up ’ these matters ; 
 though with the effect, in the end, of rendering 
 the children only so much the more curious and 
 inquisitive. 
 
 But this is not all. The filling of the juvenile 
 mind, long before nature brings the body to ma- 
 turity, with impure imaginations, not only pre- 
 occupies the ground which is greatly needed for 
 something else, and fills it with shoots of a noxious 
 growth, but actually induces, if I may so say, a 
 precocious maturity. What I mean, is, that there 
 arises a morbid or diseased state of action of the 
 vessels of the sexual system, which paves the way 
 for premature physical developement, and greatly 
 increases the danger of youthful irregularity. 
 
EVENING PARTIES. 335 
 
 Evils of night assemblies. A full length portrait of one. 
 
 5 . EVENING PARTIES. 
 
 One prolific source of licentious feeling and 
 action may be found, I think, in evening parties, 
 especially when protracted to a late hour. It has 
 always appeared to me that the injury to health 
 which either directly or indirectly grows out of 
 evening parties, was a sufficient objection to their 
 recurrence, especially when the assembly is crowd- 
 ed, the room greatly heated, or when music and 
 dancing are the accompaniments. Not a few 
 young ladies, who after perspiring freely at the lat- 
 ter exercise, go out into the damp night air, in a 
 thin dress, contract consumption; and both sexes 
 are very much exposed, in this way, to colds, rheu- 
 matisms, and fevers. 
 
 But the great danger, after ail, is to reputation 
 and morals. Think of a group of one hundred 
 young ladies and gentlemen assembling at evening, 
 and under cover of the darkness, joining in con- 
 clave, and heating themselves with exercise and 
 refreshments of an exciting nature, such as coffee, 
 tea, wine, &c, and in some parts of our country 
 with diluted distilled spirit; and ‘keeping up the 
 steam,’ as it is sometimes called, till twelve or one 
 o’clock, and frequently during the greater* part of 
 the night. For what kind and degree of vice, do 
 not such scenes prepare those who are concerned 
 in them ? 
 
 Nothing which is here said is intended to be lev- 
 
336 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 A commoii error. The moral evil outweighs all olhera. 
 
 elled against dancing, in itself considered ; but only 
 against such a use, or rather abuse of it as is made 
 to inflame and feed impure imaginations and bad 
 passions. On the subject of dancing as an amuse- 
 ment, 1 have already spoken in another part of the 
 work. 
 
 I have often wondered why the strange opinion 
 has come to prevail, especially among the industri- 
 ous yeomanry of the interior of our country, that it 
 is economical to turn night into day, in this man- 
 ner. Because they cannot very well spare their 
 sons or apprentices in the daytime, as they suppose, 
 they suffer them to go abroad in the evening, and 
 perhaps to be out all night, when it may justly be 
 questioned whether the loss of energy which they 
 sustain does not result in a loss of effort during 
 one or two subsequent days, at least equal to the 
 waste of a whole afternoon. I am fully convinced, 
 on my own part, that he who should give up to his 
 son or hired laborer an afternoon, would actually 
 lose a less amount of labor, taking the week togeth- 
 er, than he who should only give up for this pur- 
 pose the hours which nature intended should be 
 spent in sleep. 
 
 But — I repeat it — the moral evil outweighs all 
 other considerations. It needs not an experience 
 of thirty years, nor even of twenty, to convince 
 even a careless observer that no small number of' 
 our youth of both sexes, have, through the influ- 
 ence of late evening parties, gone down to the 
 
DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 337 
 
 A hint to some professors of religion. A dark catalogue 
 
 chambers of drunkenness and debauchery; and, 
 with the young man mentioned by Solomon, 
 descended through them to those of death and hell. 
 
 It may be worth while for those sober minded 
 and, otherwise, judicious Christians, who are in the 
 habit of attending fashionable parties at late hours, 
 and taking their ‘ refreshments,’ to consider whether 
 they may not be a means of keeping up, by their 
 example, those more vulgar assemblies, with all 
 their grossness, which I have been describing. Is 
 it not obvious that what the wine^ and the fruit, and 
 the oysters, are to the more refined and Christian 
 circles, wine and fermented liquors may be to 
 the more blunt sensibilities of body and mind, iii 
 youthful circles of another description ? But if so, 
 where rests the guilt? Or shall we bless the foun- 
 tains, while we curse the stream they form ? 
 
 Section III. Diseases of Licentiousness, 
 
 The importance of this and the foregoing section 
 will be differently estimated by different individuals. 
 They were not inserted, however, without consid- 
 eration, nor without the approbation of persons 
 who enjoy a large measure of public confidence. 
 The young ought at least to know, briefly, to what 
 a formidable host of maladies secret vice is ex- 
 posed. 
 
 1. Insanity, The records of hospitals show that 
 insanity, from solitary indulgence, is common. 
 Tissot, Esquirol, Eberle, and others, give ample 
 20 
 
338 THE TOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Catalogue continued. St. Vitus’s dance. Epileps'y, 
 
 testimony on this point. The latter,* from a care- 
 ful examination of the facts, assures us that in 
 Paris the proportion of insane persons whose dis- 
 eases may be traced to the source in question, is 
 one in from Jifty-one to Jifty-eighl, in the lower 
 classes. In the higher classes it is one in twenty- 
 three. In the insane Hospital of Massachusetts — 
 I have it from authority which I cannot question, — 
 the proportion is at least one in three or four. At 
 present there are about twenty cases of the kind 
 alluded to. 
 
 2. Chorea Sancti Viti; or St. Fitus^s dance. 
 This strange disease, in which the muscles of the 
 body are not always at the command of the patient, 
 and in which the head, the arms, the legs, and in- 
 deed every part which is made for muscular mo- 
 tion often jerks about in a very singular manner, is 
 sometimes produced in the same way. Insanity 
 and this disease are occasionally combined. I have 
 known one young man in this terrible condition, 
 and have read authentic accounts of others. 
 
 3. Epilepsy. Epileptic or Jailing sickness Jits, as 
 they are sometimes denominated, are another very 
 common scourge of secret vice. How much they 
 are to be dreaded almost every one can judge; for 
 there are few who have not seen those who are 
 afflicted with them. They usually weaken the 
 mind, and sometimes entirely destroy it. I knew 
 one epileptic individual who used to dread them 
 more than death; and would gladly have prefer- 
 red the latter. 
 
DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 339 
 
 Idiocy. Palsy. Apoplexy. Blindness. Hypochondria. 
 
 4. Idiotism, Epilepsy, as I have already inti- 
 mated, often runs on to idiotism ; but sometimes 
 the miserable young man becomes an idiot, with- 
 out the intervention of any other obvious disease. 
 
 5. Paralysis or Palsy, is no uncommon punish- 
 ment of this transgression. There are, however, 
 several forms of this disease. Sometimes, a slight 
 numbness of a single toe or finger is the first 
 symptom of its approach ; but at others a whole 
 hand, arm, or leg is affected. In the present case, 
 the first attacks are not very violent, as if to give 
 the offender opportunity to return to the path of 
 rectitude. Few, however, take the hint and re- 
 turn, till the chains of their slavery are riveted, 
 and their health destroyed by this or some other 
 form of disease. I have seen dissipated young 
 men who complained of the numbness of a finger 
 or two and the corresponding portion of the hand 
 and wrist, who probably did not themselves sus- 
 pect the cause; but I never knew the disorder 
 permanently removed, except by a removal of the 
 cause which produced it. 
 
 6. Jlpoplexy, Tliis has occasionally happened; 
 though more rarely. 
 
 7. Blindness, in some of its forms, especially 
 of that form usually called gutta serena, should 
 also be added to our dark catalogue. Indeed a 
 weakness of sight is among the first symptoms 
 that supervene on these occasions. 
 
 , 8. Hypochondria, This is as much a disease by 
 
340 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Consumption. Peculiar form of this disease. 
 
 itself as the small pox, though many regard it 
 otherwise. The mind is diseased, and the indi- 
 vidual has many imaginary sufferings, it is true; 
 but the imagination would not be thus unnaturally 
 awake, if there were no accompanying disturb- 
 ance in the bodily functions. Hypochondria, in its 
 more aggravated forms, is a very common result 
 of secret vice. 
 
 9. Phthisis, or consumption, is still more fre- 
 quently produced by the cause we are considering, 
 than any other disease I have mentioned. And 
 we know well the history of this disease; that, 
 though slow in its progress, the event is certain. 
 In this climate, it is one of the most destructive 
 scourges of our race. If the ordinary diseases slay 
 their thousands, consumption slays its tens of thou- 
 sands. Its approach is gradual, and often unsus- 
 pected; and the decline to the grave sometimes 
 unattended by any considerable suffering. Is it 
 not madness to expose ourselves to its attacks for 
 the shortlived gratifications of a moment? 
 
 ^ There is indeed a peculiar form of this disease 
 which, in the case in question, is more commonly 
 produced than any other. It is called, in the lan- 
 guage of physicians, tabes doi'salis, or dorsal con- 
 sumption ; because it is supjiosed to arise from the 
 dorsal portion of the spinal marrow. This disease 
 sometimes, it is true, attacks young married peo- 
 ple, especially where they go beyond the bounds 
 which the Author of nature intended; and it is 
 
DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 341 
 
 Its symptoms. The sufferer’s only hope of relief. 
 
 occasionally produced by other causes entirely dif- 
 ferent; causes, too, which it would be difficult, 
 if not impossible to prevent. Generally, however, 
 it is produced by solitary vice. 
 
 The most striking symptom of this disease is 
 described as being a ‘sensation of ants, crawling 
 from the head down along the spine ; ’ but this 
 sensation is not always felt, for sometimes in its 
 stead there is, rather, a very great weakness of the 
 small part of the back, attended with pain. This 
 is accompanied with emaciation, and occasionally, 
 though not always, with an irregular appetite. In- 
 deed, persons affected with this disease generally 
 have a good appetite. There is usually little fever, 
 or at most only a slight heat and thirst towards 
 evening, with occasional flushings of the face ; and 
 still more rarely, profuse perspirations in the latter 
 part of the night. But the latter symptom belongs 
 more properly to common consumption. The 
 sight, as I have already mentioned, grows dim ; 
 they have pains in the head and sometimes ring- 
 ing in the ears, and a loss of memory. Finally, 
 the legs become weak, the kidneys and stomach 
 suffer, and many other difficulties arise which I 
 cannot mention in this work, followed often by 
 an acute fever; and unless the abominable prac- 
 tice which produced all the mischief is abandoned, 
 death follows. But when many of the symptoms 
 which I have mentioned, are really fastened upon 
 an individual, he has sustained an injury which 
 29 =" 
 
342 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Examples of suffering. Author’s correspondence. 
 
 can never be wholly repaired. All he can hope is 
 to prolong his days, and lengthen out his life — 
 often a distressing one. A few well authenticated 
 examples of persons who debased themselves by 
 secret vice, will, I hope, satisfy those who doubt 
 the evils of this practice. 
 
 One young man thus expressed his sufferings to. 
 his physician. ‘ My very great debility renders the 
 performance of every motion difficult. That of 
 my legs is often so great, that I can scarcely stand 
 erect ; and I fear to leave my chamber. Digestion 
 is so imperfect that the food passes unchanged, 
 three or four hours after it has been taken into the 
 stomach. I am oppressed with phlegm, the pre- 
 sence of which causes pain; and the expectora- 
 tion, exhaustion. This is a brief history of my 
 miseries. Each day brings with it an increase of 
 all my woes. Nor do I believe that any human 
 creature ever suffered more. Without a special 
 interposition of Divine Providence, I cannot sup- 
 port so painful an existence.’ 
 
 Another thus writes; ‘Were I not restrained by 
 sentiments of religion,^ I should ere this have put 
 
 ^ What inadequate ideas are sametimes entertained by 
 young professors of religion, and even by those more ad- 
 vanced, in regard to the purity of character which is indis- 
 pensable to the enjoyment of a world of bliss — a world 
 whose very source, sum, end and essence, are Infinite Purity 
 itself ! 
 
 Since the first edition of this work was published, I 
 
DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 343 
 
 More examples of disease. Looking to the grave for relief 
 
 an end to my existence ; which is the more insup- 
 portable as it is caused by myself. ’ 
 
 ‘ I cannot walk two hundred paces,’ says anoth- 
 er ‘without resting myself; my feebleness is ex- 
 treme ; I have constant pains in every part of the 
 body, but particularly in the shoulders and chest. 
 My appetite is good, but this is a misfortune, since 
 what I eat causes pains in my stomach, and is 
 vomited up. If I read a page or two, my eyes are 
 filled with tears and become painful : — I often 
 sigh involuntarily.’ 
 
 A fourth says; ‘I rest badly at night, and am 
 much troubled with dreams. The lower part of 
 my back is weak, my eyes are often painful, and 
 my eyelids swelled and red. I have an almost 
 constant cold; and an oppression at the stomach. 
 In short, I had rather be laid in the silent tomb, 
 and encounter that dreadful uncertainty, hereafter^ 
 
 have received several letters of thanks for having ventured 
 upon this long neglected, but important subject. Teachers, 
 especially, have acknowledged their obligations, both in 
 person and by correspondence. One teacher, in particular, 
 a man of considerable experience, writes as follows: — 
 
 ‘The last chapter of the book, is by no means, in my 
 view, the least important. I regret to say that many 
 religious young men, through ignorance, are attached to 
 the last mentioned vice. I could wish that what you have 
 written could be carefully read by every young man, at 
 least, in our land. Alas, dear sir, how little do mortals 
 know, when they do not understand their physical struct 
 ture! ’ 
 
344 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 For whom this book is intended. References. 
 
 than remain in my present unhappy and degrad- 
 ed situation.’ 
 
 The reader should remember that the persons 
 whose miseries are here described, were generally 
 sufferers from hypochondria. They liad not advanc- 
 ed to the still more horrid stages of palsy, apoplexy, 
 epilepsy, idiotism, St. Vitus’s dance, blindness, or 
 insanity. But they had gone so far, that another 
 step in the same path, might have rendered a return 
 impossible. 
 
 The reader will spare me the pain of present- 
 ing, in detail, any more of these horrid cases. I 
 write for young men, the strength — the bone, mus- 
 cle, sinew, and nerve — of our beloved country. 
 I write for those who, — though some of them 
 may have erred — are glad to be advised, and if 
 they deem the advice good, are anxious to follow 
 it. I write, too, in vain, if it be not for young men 
 who will resolve on reformation, when they believe 
 that theii* present and future happiness is at stake. 
 And, lastly, I have not read correctly the pages in 
 the book of human nature if I do not write for 
 those who can, with God’s help, keep every good 
 resolution. 
 
 There are a few publications to which those who 
 are awake to the importance of this subject, might 
 safely be directed. One or two will be mentioned 
 presently. It is true that their authors have, in some 
 instances, given us the details of such cases of dis- 
 ease as occur but rarely. Still, what has happened, 
 
DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 345 
 
 Where the path of error may end. One more warning. 
 
 in this respect, may happen again. And as no 
 moderate drinker of fermented or spirituous liquors 
 can ever know, with certainty, that if he continues 
 his habit, he may not finally arrive at confirmed 
 drunkenness, and the worst diseases which attend 
 it, so no person who departs but once from recti- 
 tude in the matter before us, has any assurance 
 that he shall not sooner or later suffer all the evils 
 which they so faithfully describe. 
 
 When a young man, who is pursuing an un- 
 happy course of solitary vice, threatened as we 
 have seen by the severest penalties earth or heaven 
 can impose, — begins to perceive a loss or irregu- 
 larity of his appetite ; acute pains in his stomach, 
 especially during digestion, and constant vomitings ; 
 — when to this is added a weakness of the lungs, 
 often attended by a dry cough, hoarse weak voice, 
 and hurried or difficult breathing after using con- 
 siderable exertion, with a general relaxation of 
 the nervous system ; — when these appearances, or 
 symptoms, as physicians call them, take place — 
 let him beivare ! for punishment of a severer kind 
 cannot be distant. 
 
 I hope I shall have no reader to whom these 
 remarks apply ; but should it be otherwise, happy 
 wfill it be for him if he takes the alarm, and walks 
 not another step in the downward road to certain 
 and terrible retribution. Happiest, however, is he 
 who has never erred from the first ; and who reads 
 these pages as he reads of those awful scenes in 
 
346 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Several works, on this subject. An extract. 
 
 nature, — the devastations of the lightning, the de- 
 luge, the tornado, the earthquake, and the volcano ; 
 as things to be lamented, and their horrors if pos- 
 sible mitigated or averted, but with which he has 
 little personal concern. 
 
 Sympathizing, however, with his fellow beings 
 — for though fallen^ they still belong to the same 
 family — should any reader who sees this work, 
 wish to examine the subject still more intimately, I 
 recommend to him a Lecture to Young Men, lately 
 published in Providence. I would also refer him, 
 to Rees’ Cyclopedia, art. Physical Education, 
 
 The article last referred to is so excellent, that I 
 have decided on introducing, in this place, the 
 closing paragraph. The writer had been treating 
 the subject, much in the manner I have done, only 
 at greater length, and had enumerated the diseases 
 to which it leads, at the same time insisting jon the 
 importance of informing the young, in a proper 
 manner, of their danger, wherever the urgency of 
 the case required it. After quoting numerous pas- 
 sages of Scripture, which, in speaking of impurity, 
 evidently include this practice, and denouncing it in 
 severe terms, he closes with the following striking 
 remarks. 
 
 ‘There can be no doubt that God has forbidden 
 it by the usual course of providence. Its moral 
 effects, in destroying the purity of the mind, in 
 swallowing up its best affections, and perverting 
 its sensibilities into this depraved channel, are 
 
DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 347 
 
 ""Extract continued. Contains judicious advice. 
 
 among its most injurious consequences; and are 
 what render it so peculiarly difficult to eradicate 
 the evil. In proportion as the habit strengthens 
 the difficulty of breaking it, of course, increases ; 
 and while the tendency of the feelings to this point 
 increases, the vigor of the mind to effect the con- 
 quest of the habit gradually lessens. 
 
 ‘We would tell him (the misguided young man) 
 that whatever might be said in newspapers respect- 
 ing the power of medicine in such cases, nothing 
 could be done without absolute self-control ; and 
 that no medicine whatever could retrieve the mis- 
 chiefs which the want of it had caused : and that 
 the longer the practice was continued, the greater 
 W'ould be the bodily and mental evils it would 
 inevitably occasion. 
 
 ‘We would then advise him to avoid all situa- 
 tions in which he found his propensities excited ; 
 and especially, as far as possible, all in which they 
 had been gratified; to check the thoughts and 
 images which excited them; to shun those asso- 
 ciates, or at least that conversation, and tliose books, 
 which have the same effect ; to avoid all stimulating 
 food and liquor ; to sleep cool on a hard bed ; to 
 rise early, and at once ; and to go to bed when likely 
 to fall asleep at once ; to let his mind be constantly 
 occupied, though not exerted to excess ; and to let 
 his bodily powers be actively employed, every day, 
 to a degree which will make a hard bed the place 
 of sound repose. 
 
348 THE YOUNG MAn’s GUIDE. 
 
 Other forms of licentiousness do not escape punishment. 
 
 ‘Above all, we w’ould urge him to impress his 
 mind (at times when the mere thought of it would 
 not do him harm) with a feeling of horror at the 
 practice; to dwell upon its sinfulness and most 
 injurious effects; and to cultivate, by every pos- 
 sible means, an habitual sense of the constant pre- 
 sence of a holy and heart-searching God, and a 
 lively conviction of the awful effects of his dis- 
 pleasure.’ 
 
 I should be sorry to leave an impression on any 
 mind that other forms of licentiousness are inno- 
 cent, or that they entail no evils on the constitution^ 
 I have endeavored to strike most forcibly, it is true, 
 at solitary vice; but it was for this plain reason, 
 that few of the young seem to regard it as any 
 crime at all. Some even consider it indispensable 
 to health. Tliis belief I have endeavored to shake ; 
 with how much success, eternity only can deter- 
 mine. 
 
 Of the guilt of those forms of irregularity, in 
 which more than one individual and sex are neces- 
 sarily concerned, many of the young are already 
 apprized. At least they are generally acquainted 
 with the more prominent evils which result from 
 w^hat they call excess. Still if followed in what 
 they deem moderation, and with certain precau- 
 tions which could be named, not a few are ready to 
 believe, at least in the moment of temptation, that 
 there is no great harm in following their inclina-^ 
 lions. 
 
DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 349 
 
 Excess. Guilt far short of this. A great mistake made 
 
 Now in regard to what constitutes excess, every- 
 one who is not moved by Christian principle, will 
 of necessity, have his own standard, just as it is in 
 regard to solitary vice, or the use of ardent spirits. 
 And herein consists a part of the guilt. And it is 
 not till this conviction of our constant tendency to 
 establish an incorrect standard for ourselves, and to 
 go, in the end, to the greatest lengths and depths 
 and heights of guilt, can be well established in our 
 minds, that we shall ever be induced to avoid the 
 first steps in that road which may end in destruc- 
 tion ; and to take as the only place of safety, tlie 
 high ground of total abstinence. 
 
 But although the young are not wholly destitute 
 of a sense of the evils of what they call excess, 
 and of the shame of what is well known to be its 
 frequent and formidable results, — so far as them- 
 selves are concerned, — yet they seem wholly igno- 
 rant of any considerable danger short of this. For 
 so far are they from admitting that the force of 
 conscience is weakened by every repeated known 
 and wilful transgression, many think, (as I have 
 already stated) promiscuous intercourse, where no 
 matrimonial rights are invaded, if it be so managed 
 as to exempt the parties immediately concerned 
 from all immediate suffering both moral and physi- 
 cal, can scarcely be called a transgression, at all. 
 
 I wish it were practicable to extend these re- 
 marks far enough to show, as plain as noon-day 
 light can make it, that every criminal act of this 
 30 
 
S50 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Painful condition of a parent. Prevention better than cure. 
 
 kind — I mean every instance of irregularity — not 
 only produces evil to society generally, in tlie pre- 
 sent generation, but also inflicts evil on those that 
 follow. For to say nothing of those horrid cases 
 where the infants of licentious parents not only in- 
 herit vicious dispositions, but ruined bodies — even 
 to a degree, that in some instances excludes a 
 possibility of the child’s surviving many days; — 
 there are other forms of disease often entailed on 
 the young which as certainly consign the sufferer 
 to an early grave, though the passage thither may 
 be more tedious and lingering. 
 
 How must it wring the heart of a feeling young 
 parent to see his first born child, which for any 
 thing he knows, might have been possessed of a 
 sound and vigorous body, like other children, enter 
 the world with incipient scrofula, diseased joints or 
 bones, and eruptive diseaseSj in some of their worst 
 forms? Must not the sight sink him to the very 
 dust? And would he not give worlds — had he 
 worlds to give — to reverse those irreversible but 
 inscrutable decrees of Heaven, which visit the sins 
 of parents upon their descendants — ‘ unto the third 
 and fourth generation ? ’ 
 
 But how easy is it, by timely reflection, and fixed 
 moral principle, to prevent much of that disease 
 which ‘worlds’ cannot wholly cure, when it is once 
 inflicted ! 
 
 I hazard nothing in saying, then — and I might 
 appeal to the whole medical profession to sustaini 
 
DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 351 
 
 Recovery never complete- Fearful details. A desirable change. 
 
 me in my assertion — that no person whose systein 
 ever suffers, once, from those forms of disease 
 which approach nearest to the character of special 
 judgments of Heaven on sin or shame, can be sure 
 of ever wholly recovering from their effects on his 
 own person ; and what is still worse, can ever be 
 sure of being the parent of a child whose constitu- 
 tion shall be wholly untainted with disease, of one 
 kind or another. 
 
 This matter is not often understood by the com- 
 munity generally ; especially by the young. I might 
 tell them of the diseased eyesight ; the ulcerated — 
 perhaps deformed — nose and ears, and neck; the 
 discoloration, decay, and loss of teeth ; the destruc- 
 tion of the palate, and the fearful inroads of dis- 
 ease on many other soft parts of the body ; besides 
 the softening and ulceration and decay and eventual 
 destruction of the bones; and to crown all, the 
 awfully offensive breath and perspiration; and I 
 might entreat them to abstain, in the fear of God, 
 from those abuses of the constitution which not 
 un^equently bring down upon them such severe 
 forms of punishment. 
 
 A thorough knowledge of the human system and 
 the laws to which all organized bodies are subjected, 
 would, in this respect, do much in behalf of man- 
 kind ; for such would be the change of public sen- 
 timent, that the sensual could not hold up their 
 heads so boldly, as they now do, in the face of it. 
 Happy for mankind when the vicious shall bo 
 
352 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Study of Physiology. A caution. The best youthful guides. 
 
 obliged, universally, to pass in review before this 
 enlightened tribunal ! 
 
 Young men ought to study physiology. It is 
 indeed to be regretted that there are so few books 
 on this subject adapted to popular use. But in ad- 
 dition to those recommended at page 346, there 
 are portions of several works which may be read 
 with advantage by the young. Such are some of 
 the more intelligible parts of Richerand’s Physiolo- 
 gy, as at page 38 of the edition with Dr. Chapman’s 
 notes ; and of the ‘ Outlines of Physiology,’ and the 
 ^ Anatomical Class Book,’ two works recently issued 
 in Boston. It must, however, be confessed, that 
 none of these works are sufficiently divested of 
 technicalities, to be well adapted, as a whole, to the 
 general reader. Physiology is one of those foun- 
 tains at which it is somewhat dangerous to ‘ taste,’ 
 unless we ‘ drink deep ; ’ on account of the tendency 
 of superficial knowledge to empiricism. Still, I am 
 fully of the opinion that even superficial knowledge, 
 on this long neglected topic, is less dangerous both 
 to the individual and to the community, than entire 
 ignorance. 
 
 And after all, the best guides would be parents. 
 When will Heaven confer sucli favors upon us? 
 When will parents become parents indeed ? When 
 will one father or mother in a hundred, exercise the 
 true parental prerogative, and point out to those 
 whom God has given them, as cncumstances may 
 from time to time demand, the most dangerous 
 
DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 353 
 
 Appeal to the young. Physical education neglected. 
 
 rocks and whirlpools to which, in the voyage of 
 life, they are exposed ? When will every thing else 
 be done for the young rather than that which ought 
 never to be left undone ? 
 
 Say not, young reader, that I am wandering. 
 You may be a father. God grant that if you are, 
 you may also act the parent. Let me beg you to 
 resolve, and if necessary re-resolve. And not only 
 resolve, but act. If you are ready to pronounce 
 me enthusiastic on this subject, let me beg you to 
 suspend your judgment till the responsibilities and 
 
 the duties and the anxieties of a parent thicken 
 
 '^1 ■ 
 round you. 
 
 It is painful to see — every where — the most un- 
 questionable evidence that this department of edu- 
 cation is unheeded. Do you ask how the evidence 
 is obtained ? I answer by asking you how the phy- 
 sician can discover, — as undoubtedly he can, — the 
 progress of the drinker of spirituous liquors, by his 
 eye, his features, his breath, nay his very perspira- 
 tion. And do you think that the sons or daugh- 
 tei;| of sensuality, in any of its forms, and at any 
 of*!ls stages, can escape his observation ? 
 
 J3ut of v/tiat use is his knowledge, if he may not 
 communicate it ? What pei'son would endure dis- 
 closures of this kind respecting him-self or his nearest, 
 perhaps his dearest and most valued friends ? No ! 
 the pliysician’s lips must be sealed, and his tongue 
 dumb ; and the young must go down to their graves, 
 rather than permit him to make any effort to save, 
 them, lest offence should be given ! 
 
 30 * 
 
354 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE, 
 
 An example for parents. Closing remarks and appeal. 
 
 The subject is, however, gainiug a hold on the 
 community, for which none of us can be too thank- 
 ful. I am acquainted with more than one parent, 
 who is a parent indeed ; for there is no more reserve 
 on these subjects, than any other. The sons do not 
 liesitate to ask parental counsel and seek parental 
 aid, in every known path of temptation. Heaven 
 grant that such instances may be speedily multi- 
 plied. A greater work of reform can scarcely be 
 desired or anticipated. 
 
 But I must draw to a close. Oh that the young 
 were wise,’ and that they would ‘consider!’ 
 ‘ There is a way wliich seemeth right unto a man. 
 but the end thereof is death.’ 
 
 There is, then, but one course for the young. 
 Let them do that which they know to be right, and 
 avoid not only that which they are sure is wrong, 
 but that also of which they have doubts. Let them 
 do this, moreover, in the fear and love of God. In 
 the language of a great statesman of the United 
 States to his nephew, a little before his death, let 
 me exhort you, to ‘ Give up property, give up every 
 thing — give up even life itself , rather than presume 
 to do an immoral acV Let me remind you too, of 
 the declaration of that Wisdom which is Infinite ; — 
 ‘He that sinneth against God, destroyeth 
 
 HIS OWN SOUL.’ 
 
AN ADDITIONAL CHAPTER. 
 
 
 Section L Choice of Friends, 
 
 The importance, to a young man, of a few wor- 
 thy female friends, has been mentioned in Chapter 
 V. But to him who aspires at the highest possible 
 degree of improvement or usefulness, a select num- 
 ber of confidential friends of his own sex is scarcely 
 less valuable. 
 
 Great caution is however necessary in making 
 the selection. “ A man is known by the company 
 he keeps,” has long since passed into a proverb ; so 
 well does it accord with universal experience. And 
 yet many a young man neglects or despises this 
 maxim, till his reputation is absolutely and irretriev- 
 ably lost. 
 
 Lucius was a remarkable instance of this kind. 
 Extremely diffident, he was introduced to a neigh- 
 borhood where every individual but one was an 
 entire stranger to him ; and this person was one 
 whose character was despised. But what is life 
 without associates ? Few are wholly destitute of 
 sympathy, even brute animals. Lucius began to 
 be found in the company of the young man I have 
 
85G THE YOUNG man’s guide. 
 
 Story of i^ucius. His mistake. Rellections. 
 
 mentioned ; and this too in spite of the faithful and 
 earnest remonstrances of his friends, who foresaw 
 the consequences. But, like too many inexperi- 
 enced young men, conscious of his own purity of 
 intention, he thought there could surely be no harm 
 in occasional walks and conversations with even a 
 bad man ; and who knows, he sometimes used to 
 say, but I may do him good ? At any rate, as he 
 was the only person with whom he could hold free 
 conversation on “ things that v/ere past,” he deter- 
 mined occasionally to associate with him« 
 
 But as it is with many a young lady who has set 
 out with the belief that a reformed rake makes the 
 best husband, so it was with Lucius ; he found that 
 the work of reforming the vicious was no easy task. 
 Instead of making the smallest approaches to suc- 
 cess, he perceived at last, when it was too late, that 
 his familiarity with young Frederick had not only 
 greatly lowered him in the estimation of the people 
 with whom he now resided, but even in the estima- 
 tion of Frederick himself; who was encouraged to 
 pursue his vicious course, by the consideration that 
 it did not exclude him from the society of those 
 who were universally beloved and respected. 
 
 This anecdote shows how cautious we ought to 
 be in the choice of friends. Had Lucius been a 
 minister or reformer by profession, he could have 
 gone among the vicious to reclaim them, with less 
 danger. The Saviour of mankind ate and drank 
 with “publicans and sinners;” but He was well 
 
CHOICE OF FRIENDS. 357 
 
 Character of friends. Select a small number only. 
 
 known as going among them to save them, though 
 even he did not wholly escape obloquy. 
 
 Few are aware, how much they are the creatures 
 of imitation ; and how readily they catch the man- 
 ners, habits of expression, and even modes of think- 
 ing, of those whose company they keep. Let the 
 young remember, then, that it is not from the 
 remarks of others, alone, that they are likely to 
 suffer ; but that they are really lowered in the scale 
 of excellence, every time they come in unguarded 
 contact with the vicious. 
 
 It is of the highest importance to seek for com- 
 panions those who are not only intelligent and vir- 
 tuous, in the common acceptation of the term, but, 
 if it were possible, those who are a little above them, 
 especially in moral excellence. 
 
 Nor is this so difficult a task as many suppose. 
 There are in every community, a few who would 
 make valuable companions. Not that they are per- 
 fect, — for perfection, in the more absolute sense of 
 the term, belongs not to humanity ; but their char- 
 acters are such, that they would greatly improve 
 yours. And remember, that it is by no means in- 
 despensable that your circle of intimate friends be 
 very large. Nay, it is not even desirable, in a world 
 like this. You may have many acquaintances, but 
 I should advise you to have but few near friends. If 
 you have one, who is what he should be, you are 
 comparatively happy. 
 
858 
 
 THE YOUNG MAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 Wearing hats in the house. Its tendency. 
 
 Section IL Rudeness of Manners, 
 
 By rudeness I do not mean mere coarseness or 
 rusticity, for that were more pardoftable; but a 
 want of civility. In this sense of the term., I am 
 prepared to censure one practice, which in the sec- 
 tion on Politeness, was overlooked. I refer to the 
 practice so common with young men in some 
 circumstances and places, of wearing their hats or 
 caps in the house; — a practice which, whenever 
 and wherever it occurs, is decidedly reprehensible. 
 
 Most of us have probably seen state legislatures 
 in session with their hats on. This does not look 
 well for the I'epresentatives of the most civil com- 
 munities in the known world ; and though I do not 
 pretend that in this respect they fairly represent 
 their constituents, yet I do maintain that the tolera- 
 tion of such a practice implies a dereliction of the 
 public sentiment. 
 
 That the practice of uncovering the head, when- 
 ever we are in the house, tends to promote health, 
 though true, I do not at this time affirm. It is 
 sufficient for my present purpose, if I succeed in 
 showing that the contrary practice tends to vice and 
 immorality. 
 
 Who has not seen the rudeness of a company of 
 men, assembled perhaps in a bar-room — with their 
 hats on ; and also witnessed the more decent beha- 
 vior of another similar group, assembled in similar 
 circumstances, without perceiving at once a connec- 
 
RUDENESS OF MANNERS. 359 
 
 Practical questions. Manners in families. 
 
 tion between the hats and the rudeness of the one 
 company, as well as between the more orderly be- 
 havior and the uncovered heads of the other ? 
 
 To come to individuals. Attend a party or con- 
 cert— no matter about the name ; — I mean some 
 place where it is pardonable, or rather deemed par- 
 donable, to wear the hat. Who behave in the most 
 gentle, Christian manner, — the few vv^ho wear their 
 hats or those who take them ofF.^ In a family or 
 school, which are the children that are most civil 
 and well behaved ^ Is it not those who are most 
 scrupulous, always, to appear within the house with 
 their heads uncovered? Nay, in going out of 
 schools, churches, &c., who are they that put on 
 their hats first, as if it was a work of self-denial to 
 hold them in their hands, or even suffer them to 
 remain in their place till the blessing is pronouncedj 
 or till the proper time has arrived for using them ? 
 
 Once more. In passing through New England 
 or any other part of the United States, entering into 
 the houses of the people, and seeing them just as 
 they are, who has not been struck with the fact that 
 where there is the most of wearing hats and caps in 
 the house, there is generally the most of ill manners, 
 not to say of vicious habits and conduct. 
 
 Few are sufficiently aware of the influence of 
 what they often affect to despise as little things. 
 But I have said enough on this point in its proper 
 place. The great difficulty is in carrying the prin- 
 
3G0 
 
 Egotism. 
 
 THE YOUNG BIAN’s GUIDE. 
 
 We should say little about ourselves. 
 
 ciples there inevilcated into the various conditions 
 of life, and properly applying them. 
 
 Section III. Self-praise. 
 
 Some persons are such egotists that rather than 
 not be conspicuous, they will even speak ill of 
 themselves. This may seem like a contradiction ; 
 but it is nevertheless a truth. 
 
 Such conduct is explicable in two ways. Self 
 condemnation may be merely an attempt to extort 
 praise from the bystanders, by leading them to deny 
 our statements, or defend our conduct. Or, it 
 may be an attempt to set ourselves olf as abounding 
 in self knowledge ; a kind of knowledge which is 
 universally admitted to be difficult of attainment. 
 I have heard people condemn their past conduct in 
 no measured terms, who would not have borne . a 
 tithe of the same severity of remark from others. 
 Perhaps it is not too much to affirm that persons of 
 this description are often among the vainest, if not 
 the proudest of the community. 
 
 In general, it is the best way to say as little about 
 ourselves, our friends, our books, and our circum- 
 stances as possible. It is soon enough to speak of 
 ourselves when we are compelled to do it in our 
 own defence