\ . V-'- y'- • ■' . •■!' ■ ?■• 'A-' '.-■■■ ,%< :.: ■i#; ■ ':|i:’: I TICKLED TO DEATH . A Vaudeville Sketch In One Act BY WILLIAM AND JOSEPHINE GILES Authors of Uncle Si’s Predicament, Hoosier School, Bachelor’s Elopement, Rube’s Family, Advice Wanted, Etc Copyright 1916 by Dick & Fitzgerald FITZGERALD PUBLISHING CORPORATION SUCCESSOR TO Dick & Fitzgerald 18 Vesey St, New York TICKLED TO DEATH. CHARACTERS. Sam Johnson Black face Bob Jackson Black face Time of Playing. — About 15 minutes. COSTUMES. Eccentric. ' STAGE DIRECTIONS. As seen by a performer on the stage facing the audience, r., means right-hand; l., left-hand; c., center of stage. Up, means toward back of stage; down, toward footlights. TICKLED TO DEATH SCENE. — A street. Entrances right and left, ENTER Sam Johnson r. Sam. Ladies and gentlemen, with your kind permission and approval, I will endeavor to articulate a charming and spectac- ular ballad e. ititled A Little Powder and a Little Paint, Makes a Woman What She Ain^t {Introduces any available song. After song looks off l., sees some one coming) Now Pse wondering who this nigger am cornin', seems like he’s done lookin’ foh somethin’. Maybe somebody rob his hen-house or stole his wife. ENTER Bob Jackson l. Bob. Hello there, friend. Sam. How-do-you-do. Bob. Say, I’se all done lookin’ foh somethin’. Sam. Huh, yo’ all don’t have to look foh it around heah. Bob. Say, does yo’ all know a gal by the name of Eliza Green around heah ? Sam. Eliza Green, Eliza Green. {Scratching his head and thinking) I don’t know her I guess, but what kind ob a lookin’ gal am she ? Bob. Well sir, I’se can’t hardly tell yo’ so very much about her, only dat she looks like some chicken to dis nigger. I’se met her down at de beach de other day and she done asked me to call around this afternoon and see her. She said dat her hus- band run de barber shop on de cornah. Sam. Is she de gal dat goes bathen down at de beach so much ? Bob. She sure am de chicken. e Tickled to Death. Sam (starts, aside'), De man who murdered my wife. (Aloud) And yo’ am de nigger who Tse been searchin' foh all dese years. Bob. Searchin' foh me? Nigger, what do yo’ all mean? Sam. Yo' all done murdered mah wife. Bob (starts). Murdered yoh wife? Sam. Yes, yo' done murdered mah wife, stole her wooden leg, false hair and her false teeth. Bob. Who, me ? Sam. Yes, yoh. Bob. How do yo' know? Sam. How do I know? Bob. Yes, how do yo' know? Sam. Her glass eye layed on de table and saw yo*. Bob (starts, aside). Discovered. Sam (takes two feathers from his pocket and lays them on his arm. To Bob) Now choose yoh weppens. (Bob takes one. Business, They fight a duel with the two feathers,, tickles Bob under the chin and he whirls and falls) Bob. Yo’ have all done killed me. Sam. Me killed yo^? Bob. Yes, yo* have done killed me. Sam. How have I killed yo'. Bob. Yo’ have tickled me to death. SONG BY BOTH. CURTAIN, COMEDIES AND WESTERN DRAMAS MA’S NEW BOARDERS PRICE 25 CENTS Farce in 1 act. by W. C. Parker. 4 males, 4 females. No scenery re- tired. Time, it played straight, Yz hour. A landlady leaves her house in charge of her daughter; the village choirmaster calls a rehearsal. By error they gather at the boarding house, where they are mistaken for boarders. Excellent chance for a single or double quartette. MY SON ARTHUR PRICE 25 CENTS Comedy in 1 act, by M. F. Kingston. 2 males (1 unimportant), 8 fe- males. 1 interior. Time, ^ hour. At a summer resort a doting mother finds each girl whom she meets very suitable in habits and temperament for her son. He makes his own choice, thereby causing an unexpected climax. Recommended for schools. A SUCCESSFUL FAILURE PRICE 25 CENTS Comedy in 1 act, by G. M. Rosener. 2 males, 1 female. 1 interior. Time, ^ hour. A clever little sketch in which the pathetic and humorous are happily blended. The role of Lindy, the reporter, offers gre.at scope for a bright actress. THAT LITTLE ROGUE NEXT DOOR PRICE 15 CENTS Farce in 1 act, by H. Sander. 2 males, 3 females. 1 interior. Time, hour. A peppery but kind-hearted old maid fears the despoiling of her fruit trees. A young student, in love with her niece desiring to visit the house, offers to^ protect the garden. The identity of the student and the “Little Rogue’^ is finally disclosed in an excellent climax. WHEN WOMEN RULE PRICE 15 CENTS Farce in 1 act, by A. E. Platt. 2 males, 4 females. 1 interior. Time, 15 minutes. The scene is laid ten years hence when the presidential office is filled by a suffragist. Has a good soubrette role. UP-TO-DATE ANNE PRICE 15 CENTS Domestic comedy in 2 acts, by L. S. Keys. 2 males, 3 females. 1 in- terior. ^ Time, 1 hour. A very clever travesty on the much abused theory of “scientific housekeeping.” Anne will use fireless cookers, coffee perco- lators, patent egg boilers, etc., until her patient husband rebels and de- vises methods for a real home. GOLDEN GULCH PRICE 25 CENTS Western drama in 3 acts, by C. W. Townsend. 11 males, 3 females. 1 interior, 1 exterior. Time, 2 hours. The play combines wit, humor, senti- ment, exciting situations, brisk movements, and good roles for all the participants. MISS MOSHER OF COLORADO PRICE 25 CENTS Western comedy drama in 4 acts, by A. S. Richardson. 5 males, 3 females. 1 interior, 2 exteriors. Time, 2 hours. In “character” parts the piece is quite admirable, and all of these are skillfully contrasted. The climaxes are effective, and the stage pictures pretty. RED ROSETTE PRICE 25 CENTS Western drama in 3 acts, by G. V. May. 6 males, 3 females. 2 in- teriors, 1 exterior. Time, 2 hours. ^ The story is full of interest, the incidents exciting, and the dialogue crisp. Fine opportunities for character parts. Startling situations and a thrilling climax. ROCKY FORD PRICE 25 CENTS Western drama in 4 acts, by G. V. May. 8 males. 3 females. I ex- terior, 2 interiors. Time, 2 hours. A strong and stirring play, full of Ufo and dramatic movement. Tlie climax ia artistically effective. VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES BERNSTEIN AND FIRESTEIN PRICE 15 CENTS Sketch in Hebrew dialect for 2 males, by J. F. Parsons. Time, 15 min- utes. Concludes with song, for v/hich text and music are given. A CHEERFUL COMPANION PRICE 15 CENTS Duologue for 2 females, by I. L. Cassilis. Time,- 25 minutes. A lady advertises for a cheerful, musical companion. She has one applicant who proves to be tearfully doleful and an unmitigated bore. THE COON AND THE CHINK PRICE 15 CENTS Sketch for 2 males, by W. Carter. Time, 20 minutes. A bright dialogue between a negro and a Chinaman. DOLLY’S DOUBLE PRICE 15 CENTS Musical sketch for 1 male, 1 female, by C. Stuart. Time, 20 minutes. A very humorous conception, bright and catchy, leading to a clever cli- max. FINNEGAN AND FLANAGAN PRICE 15 CENTS Farcical sketch for 1 male, 1 female, by W. C. Parker. Time, 25 min- utes. Finnegan has a smile as broad as the Lakes of Killarney, and Mrs. Flanagan has “the force as well as the fanc 3 v’’ A GENTLE TOUCH PRICE 15 CENTS Sketch for 1 male, 1 female, by K. Kavanaugh. Time, ^ hour. A very bright cross-fire skit between a retired major and a jolly soubrette. JOHN’S EMMY PRICE 15 CENTS Sketch for 1 male, 1 female, by C. Stuart. Time, 20 minutes. A me- thodical old book worm awaits a young girl who is to be his ward. A type of girl whom he did not expect arrives and to whose wiles he finally succumbs. MORE GET BACKS PRICE 25 CENTS Duologue for 2 males, by D. B. Hicks. Time, 15 minutes. A snappy cross-fire act full of jokes, gags and sidewalk patter. MULDOON AND THE NIGGER PRICE. 15. CENTS Sketch in dialect for 2 males, by H. E. Shelland. Muldoon, an Irish stage manager, engages Johnson (a darky) for a role in a tragedy he is about to produce. Johnson’s attempts to act are unusually comical. Closes with a song. THE NEW CHAUFFEUR • PRICE 15 CENTS Sketch in dialect for 2 males, by H. E. Shelland. Time, 15 minutes. A German brewer hires an ignorant Irishman as chauffeur. Very funny, and leads up to dialect minstrelsy. RAPS PRICE 15 CENTS ^ Sketch by E. M. Crane for 2 males. Time, about 30 minutes. A bright dialogue full of patter between an Irish carpenter and a slightly intoxi- cated gilded youth. TICKLED TO DEATH PRICE 15 CENTS Sketch for 2 black faced comedians, by W. & J. Giles. Time, 15 min- utes. A rapid skit suitable for minstrel interludes. TWO WANDERING JEWS PRICE 15 CENTS A sketch in Hebrew dialect, for 2 males, by H. E. Shelland. Time, 15 minutes. Full of funny dialogue and repartee. Ends with a song. A VAGABOND COUPLE PRICE 15 CENTS Sketch for 2 males, by J. Sweimler. ' Time, 20 minutes. Screamingly comical character sketch with opportunities for songs and dances. NEW PLAYS ★AUNT JERUSHY ON THE WAR PATH. 25 cents, a rural farce in 3 acts, by Lieut. Beale Cormack. ^ 4 male, 5 female characters and a chorus (which may be omitted). No scenery required. Time, hours. This is one of the funniest plays ever written and has been produced professionally for two seasons. The plot concerns a group of country folks on the farm and at a village carnival. Characters, an old man, comical country boy, sideshow barker, old maid, old lady, soubrette lead, two carnival queens. The play is easy to get up and easy to act as the situations and lines are so funny they simply play themselves. ★BREAKING WINNIE. 25 cents, A comedy in 3 acts, by Carl Webster Pierce. 5 male, 5 female characters. 2 interior scenes. Time, about 2 hours. Margaret Bronson^ a noted authoress, has answered an advertisement of “The Lonely Hearts Correspondence Club,’’ in order to procure new characters for her writings. She accidently breaks her wrist and therefore gets her sister Winnie to do the correspondence with the “Lonely Hearters” for her. Winnie -writes such beautifully romantic letters that 3 of the “Lonely Hearters” decide to visit the writer, who already has a fiance. The comedy situations are created when the 3 correspond- ents arrive and Winnie gets 3 girls to impersonate her while she impersonates them. This causes a considerable mix-up which is not cleared until final curtain. ★PM CURED; or. Nearly a Film Star* 25 cents. A comedy in 2 acts and prologue, by C. N. Bourgholtzer. 8 female characters. 2 interior scenes. Time, about 1 hour. Jane^ against her aunt’s wishes, decides to leave home to become a film star. While awaiting an interview with the moving picture Director she meets other applicants including a vamp, country girl, East Side girl, lady of leisure, etc. The situation becomes too confused for Jane when the Rajah arrives looking for his stolen wife and Jane goes back home thoroughly cured. Every character good. JfMAY QUEEN^ The; or, The Fairies^ Levee* 25 cents. A mu- sical play for any number of children, especially suitable for church and school enter- tainment. The number of attendants on the May Queen and Fairy Queen depends upon the number of scholars available. It is not absolutely necessary to use music as given, as any other songs may be substituted. Stage setting is very simple. This is a very effective musical piece and is sure to give satisfaction wherever produced, A^THAT PARLOR MAID. 25 cents. A comedy in 3 acts, by Helen C. Clifford. 5 male, 6 female characters, i interior scene. Time, about hours. Anntty who thinks a parlor maid’s duty is in the parlor amusing the guests, wins the favor of all, while Drusilla^ a poetess, drives everybody to desperation. Mrs. Hamilton., who wants her son Bob to marry a girl of high social standing, is horribly shocked when a telegram arrives announcing the elopement of Bob and “ That Parlor Maid'' Mrs. Hamiltbn and Uncle John's schemes and all the double crossing is not cleared until the final curtain. Every part good. * ★HAPPINESS AT LAST. 25 cents. Comedy in 3 acts, by J. L. Shute and Beulah King. 4 male, 5 female characters, x interior scene. Time, hours. Mary^ realizes that Uncle John must stay single while she, her sister and aunt remain parasites. To help her uncle she determines on a career lor herself. A harmless flirtation which almost becomes serious and the perplexing situations which ai« brought about by Mary s schemes to marry off her aunt and sister are very funny indeed, ★FOUR AD VENTURERS,The. 25 cents. A comedy in i act, by Katharine Kavanaugh. 4 female characters. 1 interior scene, very simple. Time, 30 minutes. An amateur artist, cook, author, and singer have decided to stick to their careers becatise they think it is Bohemian, although they are nearly starving. Virginia betrays them to the enemy, “Their Sweethearts,” and everybody is happy ★FRIENDLY TIP^ A* 25 cents. A playlet in i act, by Katharine Kavanaugh. i male, 3 female characters, i interior scene. Time, 30 minutes. Jim calls on Jean^ a former sweetheart, and tells her of his monotonous married Hfe. The clever scheme by which Jean brings back the love to a husband and wife who are drifting apart is told in the play. Every part good. ★ITAINT MY fault. 25 cents. A comedy in x act, by Katharine Kavanaugh. 3 male, 3 female characters. i interior scene. Time, 45 minutes. Jimmie endeavors to obtain an interview with Elise Morton., a pupil in the DeKaib School for Young Ladies, in order to find out the whereabouts of her father who has apparently disappeared.^ By masquerading as one of the pupils, which causes many funny situations, yzmwrV succeeds in getting the information. Poor Noah is blamed for it all, but he says. “It Aint My Fault.” Suited for Schools. Fitzgerald Publishing Corporation, 18 Vesey St., N. Y. PLAYS WE RECOMMEND For Schools and Colleges Twenty-five cents (Postage 2 cents extra) Acts Males Females Time Irish Eden Comedy 3 8 6 2h Kidnapped Freshman Farce 3 12 4 2y4h Matrimonial Tifif Farce 1 2 1 Ih Little Savage Comedy 3 4 4 2h Lodgers Taken In <« 3 6 4 2y2h Miss Mosher of Colorado 4 5 3 2h Miss Neptune 4€ 2 3 8 iy4h My Uncle from India €i 4 13 4 2y2h Never Again Farce 3 7 5 2h New England Folks Drama 3 8 4 2%h Next Door Comedy 3 6 4 2h Oak Farm Comedy 3 7 4 2y2h Riddles ** 3 3 3 l%h Rosebrook Farm 3 6 9 l%h Stubborn Motor Car ** 3 7 4 2 yah Too Many Husbands Farce 2 8 4 2h When a Man’s Single Comedy 3 4 4 2h Where the Lane Turned 4 7 6 2h After the Honeymoon Farce 1 2 3 50m Biscuits and Bills Comedy 1 3 1 iy4h Chance at Midnight Drama 1 2 1 25m Conquest of Helen Comedy 1 3 2 Ih The Coward Drama 1 5 2 30m Sheriff of Tuckahoe Western Sk. 1 3 1 Ih Bashful Mr. Bobbs Comedy 8 4 7 2y2h Whose Widow 1 5 4 50m Alice’s Blighted Profes- Sketch 1 0 8 50m Sion Regular Girls Entertainment 1 0 any no. Ih 100% American Comedy 1 0 15 iy2h Parlor Patriots ** 1 0 12 Ih Fads and Fancies Sketch 1 0 17 Ih Mr. Loring’s Aunts Comedy 3 0 13 iy4h My Son Arthur 1 2 8 %h Sewing Circle Meets Entertainment 1 0 10 iy4h Every Senior Morality play 1 0 8 40m Bride and Groom Farce 3 5 5 2%h Last Chance Comedy 2 2 12 lyah Bubbles 3 4 3 iy2h Hurricane Wooing