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VICISSITUDES 
 
 IN THE 
 
 WILiDERNESS; 
 
 EXEMPLIFIED, 
 
 IN THE 
 
 JOURNAL OF 
 
 PEGGY DOW. 
 
 TO WHICa IS ADDED, 
 AN APPENDIX OF HER DEATH, 
 
 AND ALSO, 
 
 REFLECTIONS ON MATRIMONY, 
 
 BY LCtelENZO DOW. 
 
 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband : but she that maketh 
 ashamed is as rottenness in his bones, — Prov. xii. 4. 
 Who can find a virtuous woman 7 for her price is far above rubies. 
 
 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall 
 have no need of spoil. 
 
 She will do him good, and not evil, all the days of her life.— Phov. 
 xxxi. 10, 11, 12. 
 
 FIFTH EDITION. 
 
 aaor^tcli, Qtmn. 
 
 PRINTED BY WILLIAM FAULKNER. 
 
 1833. 
 

 I S"3 t- 
 
VICISSITUDES, Slc. 
 
 I WAS born in the year 1780, in Granville, Massachu= 
 setts; of parents that were strangers to God; although 
 my father was a member of the church of England ; 
 and my mother had been raised by pious parents of the 
 Presbyterian order. But, whether she had any sense of 
 the necessity of the new birth and holiness of heart I 
 cannot say ; for she was called to a world of spirits 
 when I was but five months old ; leaving behind six 
 children, two sons and four daughters. My eldest sister 
 being about fifteen years old — my father married in about 
 six months after the death of my mother ; and although 
 the woman that he married was an industrious good house 
 wife, yet he lost his property, and was reduced very low, 
 by the sinking of continental money ; and the children 
 were scattered as a consequence. My eldest sister mar- 
 ried when I was six years old — and she prevailed on my 
 father to give me to her, w^hich accordingly he did_: and 
 I was carried into the State of New York, and saw his 
 face no more !* 
 
 My tender heart was often wrought upon by the Spirit 
 of God — and I was at times very unhappy, for fear I 
 should die, and what would become of my soul ! I was 
 early taught that there was a God, a heaven and hell ; 
 and that there was a preparation necessary to fit me for 
 those mansions of rest, prepared for all that are faithful 
 until death ! My heart often mourned before God, young 
 as I was, for something, I scarce knew what, to make me 
 happy ! I dared not to sleep without praying to God, as 
 
 * The summer past, in my journey to the east, I met with a half 
 brother, whom 1 had not seen for twenty-seven years— and with 
 whom my father died : and also was at one of my sisters, whom I 
 had not seen but once for tv/enty years. She being' nine or ten 
 years older than mypelf, was able to inform me of some particulars 
 fioncerning my mother's death, which wer^ a consolation to me. 
 
4 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 well as I knew how, for many years. My sister's husband 
 being a man not calculated to gain the World, although 
 they had no children, I was raised to labour as much 
 as my strength would permit; and perhaps more, as my 
 constitution was veiy delicate, from my birth. But the 
 Lord was my helper, though I knew him not by an 
 experimental knowledge — yet I had a fear of him before 
 my eyes ! And he that taketh care of the young ravens 
 cared for me. From the time that I was six years of age 
 until I was eleven, my serious impressions never left 
 me ; but from twelve to fifteen I was mixing with those 
 that were unacquainted with God, or the things that per- 
 tain to the kingdom of heaven. My mind was taken up 
 with the vanities of this present world, although my 
 heart was often tender under the, preaching of the gospel, 
 so that I could weep and mourn ; yet I did not seek the 
 Lord in earnest to the saving of my soul. At the age 
 of fifteen, the Lord laid his rod upon me in taking away 
 my health, which was not restored until I was seven* 
 teen. In that time I was much afraid I should be called 
 to pass the dark valley — but the Lord was pleased to 
 restore me to health again in a good degree ; and at 
 the age of nineteen, I set out to seek my soul's salva- 
 tion, through many trials and difficulties ! The Metho- 
 dists^ preaching and zeal were new in that part of the 
 country where I lived at that time ; and my sister's 
 husband was very much opposed to them, so that it 
 made my way very trying ; but I was determined, come 
 what might, that I would take up my cross, and follow 
 Jesus in the way — I was willing, and gave up all my 
 young companions, and all the diversions of which I had 
 been very fond — such as dancing, and company that 
 feared not God; and the Lord, who giveih liberally, 
 and upbraideth not, gave me peace and consolation in 
 him. My sister and myself joined the first Society^ that 
 was raised in that part of the country, at a neighbour- 
 hood called Fish Creek, about four miles from where 
 we lived ; where we attended preaching and class-meet- 
 ing once every week — And the Lord was very precious 
 to my sold in those days. 
 
 About that time, my brother-in-law was brought to 
 see himself a sinner, and embraced religion; and we 
 
THE WILDERNESS, 9 
 
 were a happy family, although but three in . number. 
 We often felt like heaven begun below, Jesus precious 
 to our souls ! The preachers made our house their 
 home, at that time, and it was my delight to wait 
 on them. I felt as if I could lie at their feet, and 
 learn instruction from their lips. My chief delight was. 
 in going to meeting, and praising and singing praises 
 to my God and Saviour. We had preaching once in 
 two weeks in our neighbourhood, but few attended for 
 nearly two years ; yet the preachers continued to preach, 
 and that in faith, and the Lord heard and gave them 
 their hearts' desire ! They formed a little class, consist- 
 ing only of seven ; my brother and sister, two other men 
 and their wives, and myself, composed the society in the 
 place where I lived. We had class-meeting and prayer- 
 meeting every week at the beginning ; and it was but a 
 few months before the Lord burst the cloud, and the 
 work broke out, and sixty or seventy were added to the 
 number. We had precious times of the out-pouring of 
 the Spirit of God ! If we met only for prayer-meeting, 
 oftentimes our meetmgs would last until twelve ana 
 one o'clock, and souls would be so filled with divine 
 love, that they would fall prostrate on the floor, and 
 praise Christ their King ! So we continued to love like 
 children of one family, for two or three years ; when 
 some difficulties took place ; however, none were turned 
 out of society. O ! how sweet it is for brethren to dwell 
 together in unity — but how often doth the enemy of 
 mankind make use of that most destructive weapon, 
 DIVISION ! to destroy the souls of the fallen race of 
 Adam ! — O that Christians would make a stand against 
 him ; and live and love like children of one family ! — 
 that the world might say — " See how these Christians 
 love one a^iother." 
 
 After this, I lived in love and union with my brethren 
 for two years or more ; and enjoyed the privilege of 
 preaching and class-meetings, and had many precious 
 seasons to my soul ! 
 
 About this time, " Camp-Meetings^^ began to be intro- 
 duced into that part of the country ; and was attended 
 with the power of God, in the conversion of many pre- 
 cious souls I 
 
 I* 
 
I 
 
 « VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 ^t this time, there was one aboul thirty miles from 
 where I then lived ; and my brother-in-law attended 
 it ; where he met with Lorenzo Dow, on his way to 
 Canada; and invited him home with him, to preach 
 at oar preaching-hcuse, and sent on the aj.pointment a 
 day or two before hand, so that the people might get 
 notice. And as he was a singular character, we were 
 very anxious to see and hear him. The day arrived, 
 he came, and the house was crowded ; and we had a 
 
 ood time! I was very much afraid of him, as I had 
 
 eard such strange things about him ! 
 He was invited to mv brotlier-in-Iaw's, but did not 
 come for several days. He had appointments to preach 
 twice and thrice in the day. However, at last he came, 
 and tarried all night. The next morning he was to 
 preach five or six miles from our house ; and little did 
 I think that he had any thoughts of marrying, in par- 
 ticular that he should make any proposition ot' the kind 
 to we; but so it was, he returned that day to dinner; 
 and in conversation with my !<ister, concerning me, he 
 inquired of her, how long I had professed religion? 
 She told him the length of time. He requested to know 
 whether I kept wicked company? She told him I did 
 not; and observed, that I had often said, '"I had rather 
 marry a Preicher than any other man, provided I was 
 worthv ; and that I would wish them to travel and be 
 useful to SOULS. By this time I happened to come into 
 the room, and he asked me if I had made 'any such 
 remarks ? I told him I had. He then asked me if I 
 would accept of such an object as him? I made him 
 no reply, but went directly out of the room — as it was 
 the first time he had spoken to me, I was very much 
 surprised. He gave me to understand, that he should 
 return to our house again in a few days, and would 
 have more conversation with me on that subject; 
 which he did, after attending a meeting ten or twelve 
 miles from where I lived. He returned the next eve- 
 ning, and spoke to me on the subject again, when he told 
 me that he would marry, provided he could find one that 
 would consent to his travelling and preaching the gos- 
 pel; and if I thought I could be willing to marry him, 
 and give him up to go, and du his duty, and not see him, 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 7 
 
 perhaps, or have his company more than one month out 
 of thirteen, he should feel free to give his hand to me ; 
 but if I could not be willing to let him labour in the 
 vineyard of his God, he dared not to make any contract 
 of the kind; for he could not enjoy peace of mind in 
 any other sphere. He told me I must v^eigh the matter 
 seriously before God, whether I could make «uch an 
 engagement, and conform to it ; and not stand in his 
 way, so as to prevent his usefulness to souls ! I thought 
 I would rather marry a man that loved and feared God, 
 and that would strive to promote virtue and religion 
 among his fellow mortal?, than any other ; although I 
 felt myself inadequate to the task, without the grace of 
 God to support me ! Yet I felt willing to cast my lot 
 with his ; and be a help, and not a hindrance to him, if 
 the Lord would give me grace ; as I had no doubt that 
 he would, if I stood as 1 ought — and I accepted of his 
 proposal. He was then on his way to Canada, from 
 thence to the Mississippi Territory ; and did not expect 
 to return in much less than two years ; then if Provi- 
 dence spared, and the way should open for a union of 
 that l^nd, when he returned, we would be married I But 
 would strive in that case, as well as in all others of 
 such importance, to lay it before the Lord : and be 
 directed by him, as far as we could judge : and not 
 rush precipitately into a state, that so much concerned 
 our happiness in this world and the next — As I doubt 
 not many engage in the holy bands of matrimony, with- 
 out once considering its importance, and the obligations 
 they lay themselves under to each other, to do all in 
 their power, to make the silken cord not prove a chain 
 of iron ! 
 
 He left me, and went on his way, to preach the gos- 
 pel through Canada, and from thence to the South^ 
 and was gone for near two years before he returned ; 
 he left an appointment for a Camp-Meeting, in conjunc- 
 tion with some of the preachers, on his return, which 
 he fulfilled : and on September the fourth, we were 
 joined in the bands of matrimony, late in the evening. 
 There was not any present but the family, and the 
 preacher who performed the ceremony I Early in the 
 morning he started for the Mississippi Territory, in com- 
 
i 
 
 B VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 patiy with my brother-in-law, who intended to remove to 
 that country if he should like it, as Lorenzo had a chain 
 of appoyitments, previously given out, for four thousand 
 miles. 
 
 I expected to continue to live with my sister, as she 
 had no children, and was much attached to me, or 
 seemed to be so at that time — but the Lord ordered it 
 otherwise. My Lorenzo was gone about seven months, 
 before he returned to me. My brother-in-law was pleased 
 with the country, and intended to return to it with his 
 family, in a few months. My husband was preparing 
 to go to Europe, in the fall. He returned, and stayed 
 with me about two weeks : and then started for Canada, 
 and left me with my sister. They were preparing to 
 remove to the Mississippi in July — this was in May — 
 and my Lorenzo was to meet them, in the western 
 country, where they vvere to carry me ; and from thence 
 we would go to New York, and they continue on their 
 journey to the Mississippi Territory. But he went on 
 as far as Vermont, and held a number of meetings, where 
 he saw his sisters that lived there; and then feeling an 
 impulse tO'Teturn to Western, where 1 then was, hefgave 
 up the intended tour through Canada, and come back, 
 prepared to take me to New York city, where he intended 
 to embark for Europe. 
 
 We stayed a few weeks in Western, until my brother- 
 in-law got, his temporal concerns settled ; and then, after 
 bidding my friends and brethren in the Lord farewell ! 
 we set off for New York, attended by my sister, who 
 went the same road we were going, eighteen or twenty 
 miles ; where Lorenzo held several meetings, and stayed 
 two or three days together; and then bid each other fare- 
 well, expecting to meet again in eighteen months or two 
 years. But the providence of God did not favour this, 
 or the interference of the Enemy of mankind prevented — 
 for we never met again : and could I have foreseen what 
 awaited my unfortunate sister in the country to which 
 she was bound, the parting would have been doubly dis- 
 tressing. But it is happy for us that we do not know 
 what is in futurity, as the great Master knoweth best 
 how to prepare our minds for greater tribulation, while 
 we travel through this world of woe ! Our parting was 
 
THE WILDERNESS, 9 
 
 truly sorrowful and afflicting, but it was light when com- 
 pared to what followed ! 
 
 We left Westmoreland, and went down to Albany, 
 where Lorenzo had some acquaintances, and stayed for 
 several days at the house of Mr. Taylor, ana were 
 treated as if we were their children. 
 
 Now my sphere of life was altered. It was the first 
 time I had been so far from home without my sister; 
 she was like a mother to me, as I knew no other. My 
 heart often trembled at what was before me, to be con- 
 tinually among strangers ; being so little acquainted with 
 the ways of the world, it made me feel like one at a 
 loss how to behave, or what to do. 
 
 Lorenzo was very affectionate and attentive to me. 
 He left me at Albany with sister Taylor, who was going 
 down to New York in a sloop. As I was very much 
 fatigued by riding on horseback, he thought it best for 
 me to go down with her, by water ; while he went by 
 land, rode one horse, and led the other. He arrived in 
 New York perhaps four and twenty hours before me. 
 I went on board, for the first time that I ever was on the 
 water, except to cross a ferry. 
 
 It made me somewhat gloomy to be on board the 
 vessel among strangers, while going down the river to 
 the city of New York, as I had never been in such a 
 place before. However, we landed about ten o'clock at 
 night, where I met Lorenzo, who had been on the look 
 out for some time. We went to a friend's house, that had 
 been very kind to him in days past, who then belonged 
 to the Methodist church. I felt much embarrassed, as I 
 had never been in the city before. We stayed in New 
 York several weeks, and had some precious meetings. 
 Here I became acquainted with some kind friends, who 
 were to me like mothers and sisters ; whilst Lorenzo left 
 me and went to fulfil some appointments he had made 
 in Virginia and North Carolina, and expecting only to 
 be gone five or six weeks ; but was detained, contrary to 
 his expectation, near three months. In that time the 
 fever, that was common in the city of New York, broke 
 out, and I went with Mr. Quackenbiish to the country.,, 
 about forty miles up the river, to a brother Wilson% 
 where she carried her children to go to sciiool.-^Here 
 •^3 
 
10 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 I "Stayed several weeks. They were people of a iiahd» 
 some property; but the niDre we have the more we 
 want, as has been observed by many : And I think it 
 will hold good almost without exception ; for they were 
 as much engaged to gain property, as if they had only 
 bread from hand to mouth. I was a stranger, and many 
 times I felt as such, but the Lord gave me support, so 
 that I was tolerable cheerful in the absence of my com- 
 panion ! Before he returned, I went back to New York, 
 where I stayed until he came; and prepared to sail for 
 Europe, which- was some lime in November. We 
 obtained a 'protection from our government, when leav-' 
 ing the country for England. It was necessary to have 
 witnesses to prove that he was the Lorenzo Dow that 
 was identified and intended in the documents, which 
 he had obtained from the United States of America. 
 Consequently he got N. S. and J. Q,. to go before a 
 notary public, and certify that he was the same Lorenzo 
 Dew referred to in the documents. Mr. N. S. gave in 
 under oath, that " he knew him from his youth, * 
 
 holy gospel !" And about the same tim_e he wrote letters 
 to Ireland and England, to make his way narrow in 
 those countries. And no thanks to him that it did not 
 bring Lorenzo into the greatest distress and diflficulties 
 that a man could have been brought into ! But through 
 the mercy of God it was otherwise o-yerrw/ecZ .' 
 
 He gave me my choice, to go with him, or stay with 
 friends in America, as there were many that told us I 
 might stay with them, and be as welcome as their child- 
 ren; and strove to prevent my goi '!^^ to a land where I 
 would find many difficulties and dangers to encounter 
 that I "was unacquainted with, and could not foresee. 
 But I chose to go, and take my lot and share Avith him 
 of whatever might befall us. Consequently, on the 10th 
 of November, 1805, we set sail from New York for 
 Liverpool, in Old England. We embarked about 10 
 o'clock, with a fine breeze. They spread their canvass, 
 and w^re soon under Avay. 
 
 Lorenzo came into the cabin, and told me to go on 
 deck, and bid farewell to my native land ! I did so — 
 and the city began to disappear! I could discover the 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 11 
 
 houses to grow smaller and smaller ; and at last could 
 see nothing but the chimneys and the tops of the houses; 
 then all disappeared but the masts of vessels in the 
 harbour. In a short time nothing remained but a bound- 
 less ocean opening to view,; and I had to depend upon 
 nothing but the Providence of God ! I went down into 
 the cabin, and thought perhaps I should see my native 
 land no more ! 
 
 The vessel being tossed to and fro on the waves, I 
 began to feel very sick, and to reflect I was bound to a 
 foreign land ; arid, supposing I should reach that country, 
 I knew not what awaited me there. But this was my 
 comfort, the same God presided in England that did in 
 America! — I thought if I might find one real female 
 friend. I would be satisfied. 
 
 I continued to be sea-sick for near two weeks, and then 
 recovered my health better than I had enjoyed it in my 
 life before. 
 
 We Avere twenty.seven days out of sight of land. 
 The vessel being in a very bad situation, we had not 
 been at sea more than five or six days, bcfoie- tbe rudder 
 began to fail; so they could not have commanded her 
 at all, if the wind had bean un avourable. The weather 
 was very rough and stoimv ; but through the mercy of 
 God, the loind was favourable to our course^ so that we 
 reached safe our pkce of destination. 
 
 When we arrived in the river at Liverpool, we were 
 not permitted to land, until they could send up to Lon- 
 don, and get returns from there, as our vessel came fr^^m 
 a port subject to the yellow fever; on that account, we 
 were obliged to stay in that river, for ten days, beibre 
 we Were permitted to come on shore. 
 
 I never saw a woman for thirty-seven days, except one 
 who came along side our vessel, to bespeak the captain 
 as a boarder at her house, when he should come on 
 shore. 
 
 I strove to pray much to God to give us favour in the 
 eyes of the people, and open the way for Lorenzo, to do 
 the errand that he came upon ; and to give him success 
 in preaching the gospel to poor sinners. The prospect 
 was often gloomy, Lorenzo used to say to me, keep up 
 
12 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 your spirits — we shall yet see good days in Old EnglancJ, 
 oefore we leave it, as the sequel proved. 
 
 We went on shore the twenty-fourth or fifth of De- 
 cember. Lorenzo had a number of letters to people in 
 Liverpool. Some were letters of recomendation ; others, 
 to persons from their friends in America. 
 
 We went with the master of the vessel to a boarding 
 house, where I was left until Lorenzo went to see what 
 the prospect might be, and whether he could meet with 
 any that would open the way for him to get access to 
 the people. After giving out all the letters but one, he 
 retunied to me : having been two or three hours absent 
 Tvithout any particular success. 
 
 The house that I tarried at, was a boarding-house, for 
 American captains ; and the women that were there, 
 were wicked enough ! — My heart was much pained to 
 hear my own sex taking the name of their Maker and 
 preserver, in vain ! O ! thought I, shall i never meet 
 again with any that love and fear God ? — Lorenzo intend- 
 ed to go and find the person that the last letter was 
 directed to, and told me I might either stay there or go 
 with him. I chose to go with him, rather than be left 
 with them any longer. — It was almost night, and we 
 had not much to depend upon, without the openings of 
 Providence. We started, but could not find the person, 
 for some time. However, at last, as we were walking, 
 Lorenzo looked up to the corner, and happened to espy 
 the name that he was after ; accordingly we went up 
 to the door, and gave a rap, and were admitted. — 
 He delivered the letter. There was a woman from Diib- 
 li«, w!io seeing that we were strangers and foreigners, 
 began to enquire of Lorenzo, for some persons in Ame- 
 rica; and shortly after this, she asked him, if he had ever 
 heard of a man hy the name of Lorenzo Dow 7 Not 
 knowing that any one in that country could have any 
 knowledge of him, it was very surprising to me. He 
 told her, that was his name, and she was as much sur- 
 prised in her turn. She had seen him in Ireland, wheii 
 he was there some years before ; but did not know him 
 now, as he had the small pox after she had seen him, 
 which had made a great alteration in his appearance. 
 
 The man of the house invited us to tarry all night, but 
 the woman m^de some objections !— They were friends 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 13 
 
 (quakers,) and told us, there was a quaker lady just 
 across the street that kept a boarding house, where 
 we coulu be accommodated with lodgings for the night. 
 And as it was then something late in the evening, the 
 man conducted us thither, where we obtained permission 
 to stay. 
 
 As Lorenzo had but little to depend upon but the open- 
 ings of Providence, — he intended to go to Ireland, and 
 take me to his friends, and leave me there ; as he had 
 wrote to that country and had returns from his old friend, 
 Doctor Johnson, with an invitation for him to bring me ; 
 and that 1 should have a home at his house, as long as 
 we chose, whilst he pursued his travels through Ireland 
 and England. Lorenzo went and procured a passage 
 across the channel, in a packet to Dublin ; but did not 
 sail for several days. So we had to stay in Liverpool 
 for some time. Our board was more than two guineas 
 a we.k, which was bringing Lorenzo very short as to 
 money. At last we got on board of the packet, with our 
 little baggage, and some provisions for the voyage ; but 
 jhe wind proved unfavourable, and we were driven back 
 into the port of Liverpool aguin ; aad that was the case 
 for no less than five iin)es runnii g. 
 
 Before this, our friend thai we met at the Q,uakers, had 
 introduced us to a family of peo] le who v^-ere Metlio- 
 dists, where the woman was a verv alil-ctionate/y/e;/.c/ ; 
 which opened the door for acquaintance, and we had 
 been there several times. 
 
 Our landlady that we were boarding with told us we 
 could not stay with her any longer, so we must go else- 
 where, as her house was full. 
 
 The last lime we went on board of the packet, and 
 put to sea, we had not been out more than two or three 
 nours before the wind blew a gale ; and it was so dark 
 that they could not see their hand before them on deck; 
 and we knew not how shortly we might be cast on rocks 
 or sand banks, and all sent to eternity. There were 
 some on board, who before the storm came up, had beea 
 very profane in taking the name of iheir Maker in vain; 
 but when they saw and felt the danger that they were 
 in, they were as much alarmed as any persons could be! 
 
 X oouid aot but woudei' that people would or could be 
 
14 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 so careless and secure whilst they saw no danger, but 
 when the waves began to roll, and the ship began 
 to toss to and fro, they were struck with astonish- 
 ment and horror! 
 
 My husband and myself lay still in the birth, and 
 strove to put our trust in that hand that cOuId calm the 
 roaring seas ; and I felt measurably composed. At day- 
 light, the captain made for the port of Liverpool again, 
 and about eight or nine o'clock in the morning, we came 
 into the dock; but as we were coming in, under full 
 sail, and a strong tide, there was a large ship, of the 
 African trade, that was lying at anchor in the harbour ; 
 we ran foul of her, but through mercy were preserved 
 from much harm ! 
 
 The weather was very rainy, the streets were muddy, 
 and I had walked through the mud for a considerable dis- 
 tance ; the prospect was gloomy beyond description, but 
 my Lorenzo cheered my spirits, by telling me, the Lord 
 would provide, which I found to be true ! 
 
 We went to Mr. Forshaid's, the people that we were 
 introduced to, by the friend that we saw at the duaker's 
 the first night we were in Liverpool. When my good 
 friend, Mrs. Forshaw, now saw me returning, she was 
 touched with pity for me, as I was very muddy and 
 fatigued ! She told Lorenzo he had better leave me 
 with her, whilst he travelled through the country, until 
 the weather was better; and then take me over to Ire- 
 land in the spring — which invitation we were very thank- 
 ful for. O how the Lord provided for me in a strange 
 land ! where I had not any thing to depend upon but 
 Providence ! 
 
 My Lorenzo left me at her house, and proceeded up 
 to London ; where he w^as gone about two weeks. But 
 previous to this the Lord had opened his way, so that 
 he had held a number of meetings in Liverpool, and one 
 woman had been brought to see herself a sinner, and seek 
 the salvation of her soul. 
 
 I was at this time in a state of *********j and my mind 
 somewhat depressed ; bat the Lord gave me favour in 
 the eyes of the people, and they were very kind to me, 
 while he was gone. I attended class-meetings and 
 preaching, which was very refreshing to me. I felt to 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 15 
 
 bless God, that I had found the same religion in that 
 country, as I had experienced in my own native land. 
 I was sometimes very much distressed in mind, for tear 
 my husband should die, and I be left in a strange land. 
 But he returned to mt in the time appointed ; and had 
 several invitations to other parts of the country, to hold 
 meetings, which he accepted. 
 
 I left Liverpool with him, for Warrington, where he 
 had been invited, by a man that came to Liverpool on 
 business ; who not knowing there was such a person as 
 Lorenzo in the country, but feeling, after he had done his 
 business, like he wanted to go to a meeting, and wander- 
 ing about for some time, when he at last went into a 
 meeting-house that belonged to the people called A'lYAo- 
 mites^ where Lorenzo had been invited to preach, and 
 found a congregation assembled to hejir preaching; and 
 after he had done, as the people were very solemn and 
 attentive, and many were much wrought upon, this man 
 invited Lorenzo to go to Warrington, where there was 
 a little society of people called Gluaker-methodists ; and 
 the meeting-house should be opened to him. He did 
 so, and found them a very pious people. We stayed 
 there for several weeks, and he held meetings two or 
 three times in a day; while the Lord began a good 
 work in that place, and many were brought to rejoice 
 in the Lord ! Peter Philips, the man that invited Lo- 
 renzo there, and his' wife, were very friendly to us, and 
 their house was our home ever after, when we were in 
 Warrington. 
 
 A widow lady who lived there, had three daughters, 
 one of whom lived in London, and the other with her. 
 She came out to hear Lorenzo preach ; and one day after 
 meeting, she came to Peter Philips, to see us, and was 
 very friendly. Lorenzo asked her if she had any child- 
 ren ? She told him she had three ; and that two were 
 with her. He inquired if they professed religion ? She 
 told him that one of them had made a profession, but 
 she had lost it, she was fearful ; but the youngest never 
 had. He requested her to tell them to come and see 
 him ; but the mother insisted that he should come and 
 see them; and then he could have an opportunity to 
 converse with them at home. He did so; and they 
 
16 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 both became very serious, and came to his meetings. 
 And although they had been very gay young women, 
 they would come up to be prayed hr in the public con- 
 gregation. The result was, they got religion ; and the 
 youngest has since died happy in the Lord. The eldest 
 came down from Loudon on a visit to her mother's, 
 where my Lorenzo saw hc»-, and he was made an instru- 
 ment in the hand of God, of her conversion to God. 
 She was one of the most affectionate girls I ever saw ! 
 
 We stayed in and about Warrington until May : in 
 which time Lorenzo had openings to preach in different 
 places, more than he could attend ; and the Lord blessed 
 his labours abundantly to precious souls ! 
 
 In May we returned to Liverpool, and prepared to 
 cross the channel to Ireland. We had a very pleasant 
 passage, and arrived in safety 'where we found our kind 
 irieiid, doctor Johnson and his family well ; and were 
 received with affection by many. The preachers that 
 were in Dublin were very friendly, and I felt much 
 united to them. We were invited to breakfast, dine, 
 and sup, almost every day. But my situation being a 
 delicate one, it made it somewhat * ♦ * ♦ * ^^ 
 me ! The friends were as attentive to me as I could have 
 wished ; for which may the Lord fill my heart with grati- 
 tude. 
 
 Lorenzo stayed with me for some time, and then went 
 into the country, where he held many meetings, and 
 the Lord was with him. After which he returned ^o 
 Dublin, and with the doctor, he went over again to Eng-- 
 land. I staid with Mrs. Jonnson until his return, where 
 I expected to continue until 1 should get through my 
 approaching conflict, if it was the will of the Lord to 
 bring me through. I felt in tolerable good spirits ; and 
 although I was many hundre.d miles from my native 
 land, yet the Lord gave me favour in the eyes of the 
 people. My wants were supplied, as it related to my 
 present situation, abundantly ! 
 
 Lorenzo stayed in England for six or eight weeks, and 
 then returned to me, to be with nie in my approaching 
 conflict. He was very weak in body; but c.ntinued to 
 preach two and three limes in the aay. He got some 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 17 
 
 books printed, which enabled him to prosecute his travels 
 through the countries of Ireland and England. 
 
 Whilst he was absent, a woman had spoken to a 
 doctor to attend me, Avhen I should want hini, which 
 was not agreeable to my Lorenzo. But having gono 
 so far, it was thought by those that employed him, that 
 it was best not to employ any other ; and I being unac- 
 quainted with the manners and customs of the country, 
 was passive. My Lorenzo was much hurt, but I was not 
 sensible of it, as much before as after. If I had, I should 
 not have suffered it to have been so ; but we often are 
 mistaken in what will be best for us. 
 
 The time arrived that I must pass through the trial, 
 and my Lorenzo was at the doctor's. But those that 
 attended on me would not suffer him to come into the 
 room where 1 was — which gave him much pain. I did 
 not at that time know how much he was hurt — but after 
 my child was born, which was on the 16th of Septem- 
 ber, between three and four o'clock, he was permitted 
 to come in, and he had a white handkerchief on his 
 head, and his face was as white as the handkerchief. 
 He came t© the bed, and took the child, observing to 
 me, that we had got an additional charge — which if 
 spared to us, would prove a blessing, or else one of the 
 greatest trials that possibly we could have to meet with. 
 I expect Lorenzo passed through as great a conflict in 
 his mindj as he had almost ever met with. The Lord 
 was my support at that time, and brought me safely 
 through. The friends were very kind to me, and sup- 
 plied my wants with every thing that was needful, and 
 in about two weeks 1 was able to leave ray room : my 
 heart was glad, when I viewed my little daughter. She 
 was a sweet infant. But O how short-lived are earthly 
 joys ! We stayed in Dublin until she was five weeks 
 old ; and then Lorenzo, with myself, and our little one, 
 embarked on board a packet for Liverpool. The weather 
 was rainy, and tolerable cold — there was no fire in the 
 cabin. There were a numder of passengers, who thought 
 themselves rather above the middle class, men and women, 
 who were civil to us : but I was so much afraid that my 
 little infant would be too much exposed, that I neglected 
 mysedf, and probably took cold*— we were two sights aod 
 
18 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 one day on board the packet. We got into Liverpool 
 about ten or eleven o'clock, where I was met by my 
 good friend, Mrs. Forshaw ; and went to her house, 
 where we stayed a day or two, and then took the stage 
 for Warrington, about eighteen miles from Liverpool, 
 where we arrived on Sunday morning. Our friends, 
 Peter Philips and his wife, were at meeting. Lorenzo 
 went to the chapel. The people were very much rejoiced 
 to see him. They had been concerned for us, as they 
 had not heard from us for some time. The friends from 
 the country, many of whom came to see us, while Lo- 
 renzo had meetings in town and country, two and three 
 times in the day j and the Lord was present to heal 
 mourning souls. 
 
 Dr. Johnson came with us from Ireland. He was 
 much engaged in helping to bring souls to the knov/ledge 
 of the truth ; and was, I trust, made an instrument of 
 good to many : — Lorenzo and the doctor travelled into 
 various places in Lancashire and Cheshire, with some 
 other counties, and many were brought to see them- 
 selves sinners, and seek their soul's salvation. 
 
 The people in that country seemed to feel much for 
 me, and manifested it by numberless acts of kindness. 
 For, instead of having to sell my gown for bread, as 
 Lorenzo told me I might have to do, when we were in 
 America, there was scarcely a day but I had presents 
 of clothing or money, to supply myself with whatever I 
 needed. O how grateful ought I to be to my great Bene- 
 factor, for all his mercies to unworthy me ! 
 
 My little ^^ Letitia Johnson,''^ for so was my child 
 called, grew, and was a very jfine, attracting little thing. 
 I found my heart was too much set upon it, so that I 
 often feared I should love her too well ; but strove to give 
 myself and all that I had to my God. 
 
 Lorenzo was in a very bad state of health, which 
 alarmed me very much. I often cried to the Lord to 
 take my child or my health, but spare my dear husband ! 
 The thought was so painful to me, to be left in a strange 
 land, with a child, so far from my native soil ! — The 
 Lord took me at my word, and laid his afflicting hand 
 upon me. 
 
 Lorenzo and the doctor went to Macclesfield^ and 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 19 
 
 expected to be gone about a week : and left me at Peter 
 Philip's, where I was taken sick, the day they started, 
 with the nervous fever — but kept up, and nursed my 
 child, until two or three days before they returned. I 
 thought I had taken a very severe cold, and should be 
 better ; but. grew worse every day. 
 
 The friends were very kind to me, particularly Mary 
 Barford, a young lady o( fortune^ who had got religion 
 through the instrumentality of Lorenzo. She attended 
 me two and three times a day. After I got so as not to be 
 able to sit up, she hired a girl to take care of my child. 
 My fever increased very fast, and the night before Lo- 
 renzo got to Warrington, I thought I was dying, and 
 those that were about me were very much alarmed, and 
 sent for a doctor; he came, and administered something 
 to me. He said I was not dying, but that I was very 
 sick ! The next morning doctor Johnson and Lorenzo 
 came ; they found me in bed. The doctor thought per- 
 haps I had taken cold, and it would wear oif after giving 
 me something to promote a copious sweat. But when he 
 found that the fever continued to rise, he told us to pre- 
 pare for the worst — -for it was a nervous hvQi, and that it 
 was probable it would carry me to a world of spirits. 
 
 I had continued to nurse my child for more than one 
 week after I vv-as taken sick, which was very injurious 
 to her. The doctor forbade my suckling ber any longer, 
 which gave me much pain. They were obliged to take 
 her from me and feed her with a bottle. My fever 
 increased, and rose to such a height, that it was thought 
 I could not survive many days ! The doctor stayed with 
 me, and payed every attention in his power, for twenty 
 days and nights. Lorenzo was not undressed, to go to 
 bed, for near three weeks, nor the doctor for nearly the 
 same length of time. 
 
 My kind friends gave me every assistance in their 
 power: they came from the country, for many miles 
 distant, to see if we were in want of any thing that 
 they could help us to. May the Lord reward them for 
 their kindness to me, in the day of adversity. — Our dear 
 friend, Mary Barford, used to come every day two or 
 three times to see me, and administer to my necessities; 
 and many others cume al^o, Sht: was a precious girl, 
 4i 
 
to VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 and although she had been raised in the first circle, woulcf 
 go into the houses of the poor, and supply their wants,' 
 and nurse and do for them like she had been a servant. 
 Although Lorenzo was so broke of his rest and fatigued 
 by night, yet he held meetings almost every day, some 
 of which were a considerable distance from town ; and 
 as he was weak in body, our friend M. B. frequently 
 hired a hack, to convey him to his appointments and 
 back, so that he was with me the greatest part of the 
 time. 
 
 I was very much reduced, so that I was almost as help- 
 less as an infant. 
 
 There was a chair-maker's shop adjoining the house, 
 and the room that I was confined in being most con- 
 tiguous, the noise of the shop, together with that of the 
 town, was very distressing to me — likewise the family 
 was large, and the house small, so that it was very uncom- 
 fortable. We were under the necessity of having some 
 person to sit up with me every night, for my fever raged 
 to that degree I wanted drink almost every moment. 
 The light was not extinguished in my room for six or 
 eight weeks. My poor child was very fretful; the girl 
 that nursed it would get to sleep and let it cry ; this 
 distressed my mind, and it was thought best by my 
 friends to get some person to take it to the country, to be 
 nursed there. 
 
 To be separated from ray child was very painful to 
 me ; but as my life was despaired of by my friends, and 
 as I myself had not much expectation that I should 
 recover, I strove to give it up, knowing it would be best 
 for the child, and for me also. 
 
 There was a woman from Cheshire, who lived about 
 ten miles distant from Warrington, that had no children. — 
 She came to see me, and offered to take my baby and 
 nurse ic, until I shou4d die or get better — which was 
 agreed to — so they made ready, and she took it I But 
 O the heart-rending sorrow that I felt on the separatioEs 
 with my helpless little infant ! Language cannot paint 
 it ! But the Lord was my support in that trying hour, 
 so that I was enabled to bear it with some degree of 
 fortitude. I was anxious to get well and return to Ame- 
 rica; but little did I know what awaited me &n my 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 21 
 
 native shore! My disorder affected my mind very muchK 
 Likewise I was very desirous to see my sister that raised 
 me, once more in time ; she was as near to me as a 
 mother. We had heard that they had arrived safe at 
 the Mississippi territory, and were like to do well. 
 
 At times I was very' Ar/pp?/ ; and then at other times 
 my mind was very gloomy, and sunk, as it were. The 
 doctor said that he never saw any one's nerves so affected, 
 that did not die, or quite lose their reason for a time. But 
 I retained my senses and recollection as well as ever, 
 althoui^h it seemed that I scarce slept at all ! 
 
 As I was surrounded with noise, the doctor thought it 
 would be better for me to be removed to a friend'.s house 
 in the country, who lived about four miles from where 
 I was. Accordingly they hired a long coach, and put a 
 bed in it, and then a man took me in his arms, and put 
 me, in ; and the doctor and Lorenzo got into the coach 
 with me, and carried me four miles into the countrv, to 
 a friend's house, where I had every attention paicl me 
 that I could wish for ; and from that time I began to mend 
 and recover. — This was about Christmas. 
 
 Lorenzo felt a desire to visit Ireland once more before 
 he returned to America, and he wished to make arrange- 
 ments to return in the spring; and if he did not go to 
 Ireland in a short time, he caul;! not go at all. I was 
 at that time so low, that I co"Jd not get up, or assist 
 myself so much as to get a d.ink of water — and it was 
 doubtful whether I shou'd recover again or not. 
 
 He told me what he felt a desire to do but added, that 
 he would not go unless I felt quite willing. I told him, 
 the same merciiul God presided over us, when separated, 
 as when we were together ; and that he would provide 
 for me, as he had done in a strange land, through my 
 present illness: and wished him to go and do his duty ! 
 Accordingly, he hired a young woman to come and stay 
 wi':h me night and day. 
 
 He had to preach at a place about two miles from 
 where I was, at night ; and told me, perhaps he should 
 not return that night; and if he did not he should not 
 return to see me again, before he left that part for Ireland. 
 However, I thought he v^ould return to me again before 
 he left England — but he, to save me the pain of parting, 
 2* 
 
i23 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 did not return, as I had expected, but took the coach for 
 Chester^ and so on to Hollyhead in Wales, tiiere to 
 embark for Dublui ; and lelt the doctor to stay with me, 
 until his return ; which he did. and w-as as a father and 
 friend to me in his absence. 
 
 Although I felt willing for him to g-o and blow the 
 gospel trumpet, yet my heart shrunk at the though? 
 of bein^ left in a strange land, in my present situation, 
 so weak that I could not put on my clothes without 
 help : and my sweet little babe at a considerable distance 
 from me, and amongst strangers. But the Lord was my 
 support, and gave me strength to be, in some consider- 
 able degree, resigned to the will of God ! 
 
 Lorenzo went on the outside of the.eoach, exposed to 
 the inclement weather, and to the rude insults of the 
 passengers, mitil he got to Hollyhead, where he Avent on 
 board a packet for Dublin, when he was both wet and 
 cold, and was for four and twenty hours without food. 
 But when he got to %' rs. Johnson's, he found her, as ever, 
 a friend indeed : where he stayed until he got recruited", 
 and then commenced his travels; whilst I Avas left behind*, 
 to encounter the most tr^'ing scene that I had ever met 
 with. 
 
 ' My strength gradually increased, so that I was in a 
 few weeks able to sit up and to walk about the room. 
 The people that I was with, were as kind and attentive 
 us they could be — may the Lord reward them. But the 
 doctor thought it would be best for iiie to go to another 
 neighbcurhood, as a change of air and new objects 
 might contribute to my health ; and I should be nearer 
 my cl ild, which was a pleasing thought to me. We 
 got into a carriag-e, and went to a friend's house, eight 
 or ten miles, where I had been invited and sent for. We 
 stayed a week or more, and then we went to another 
 place, within two miles of my child, which I expected 
 10 see and clasp to my bosom ! O how short-lived are 
 all earthly enjoyments ! I did see my sweet little 
 babe once more ! The woman that had her brought her 
 to see me; my heart leaped with joy at the sight. The 
 innocent smile that adorned her face ! O how pleasing., 
 1 wished very much to keep her, but the doctor would 
 5401 consent that L should undertake to nurse her. He 
 
THE WILDERNESS, 23 
 
 said, I had not recovered my strength sufficient to ^o^ 
 through the fatigue of nursing. But he that gave it, 
 provided for it better than I could ; he saw it best to 
 transplant it in a happier soil than this ; for in two or 
 three days, the flower that began to bloom, was nipt by 
 the cold nand of death, after a short illness of perhaps two 
 or three days ; my tender babe was a lifeless lump of 
 clay, and her happy spirit landed on the peaceful «hore 
 
 of BLEST ETERNITY. 
 
 They kept me in ignorance of her sickness, until she 
 was dead. I could not tell why my mind was so much 
 distressed on the account of my child. I inquired of 
 every one that I could see from where she was j but 
 they would not tell me of her danger, until she was 
 dead. I was then about four miles from her, where I 
 had gone the day that she died. A kind sister walked 
 that distance to let me know that my little Letitia was 
 no more ; lest some one should too abruptly communi- 
 cate the heavy tidings ; as my health was not yet restored, 
 and it was feared that itwould be attended with some dis- 
 agreeable consequences ! I was much surprised to see 
 sister Wade come, as I had left her house only the day 
 before. ,The first question, I asked how my child was ? 
 She made me no reply. It struck my mind very forcibly, 
 that she was no more I I requested her to tell me the 
 worst, for I was prepared for it — My mind had been 
 impressed with a foreboding for some time ! She told 
 me my child was gone, to return no more to me ! I felt 
 it went to my heart, in sensations that I cannot express ! — 
 it was a sorrow, but not without hope — I felt my babe 
 was torn from my bosom by the- cruel hand of death t 
 But the summons was sent by him that has a right ta 
 give and take away. He had removed my innocent 
 infant far from a world of grief and sin ! perhaps for 
 my good ; for I often felt my heart too much attached 
 jto'it; so much, that I feared it would draw my heart 
 ^ronr* my duty to my God I O the danger of loving any 
 creature in preference to our Saviour! I felt as one 
 alone — my Lorenzo in Ireland — my child was gone to 
 ■^ happier clim^! I strove to sink into the will of God ; 
 i'Ut the struggle was very severe, although I thought 
 
Zi VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 I could say, "The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken 
 away, and blessed be the name of the Lord !" 
 
 The day that my child was carried to Warrington^ to 
 be interred in the burying ground of the quaker-raetho- 
 dists, about ten miles from where she died, 1 felt as 
 though I must see her before she was consigned to the 
 dust, to be food for worms. They had to carry the corpse 
 by the house that I was at — my friends opposed it. so 
 warmly, urging my present state of health as a reason/ 
 I thought perhaps it wo-uld be best, and strove to com- 
 pose myself, and use my reasonj and resign my all into 
 the hands of the Lord — it was a severe struggle, but the 
 Friend of sinners supported me under all my afflictions. 
 
 They carried my sweet little Leiitia, and consigned her 
 to the tomb, there to rest Until the last trump siiall sound, 
 and the body and spirit be re-united again: and then 
 We shall see how glorious is immortality ! 
 
 I wrote to my Lorenzo the day that our child died ; he 
 did not get it, but wrote to me, and mentioned, that be 
 wished to see me and the child, which opened afresh the 
 wound that had been received — but he got the news by 
 way of Mrs. Johnson, He wrote to me, that ke intended 
 to return to America in the spring, which I was very 
 anxious for. My health began to get better, so that I 
 was able to walk two miles at a time, as walking was 
 very customary among the people in that country. I 
 felt a desire to return to Warrington, which I did in a 
 canal boat, and was kindly received by my good friends 
 and benefactors, Peter and Hannah Philip's, with many 
 others that had contributed to my comfort, while afflictea 
 with sickness and distress. I stayed in the town of 
 Warrington for several weeks, with my friends, and was 
 frequently at the little chapel, where my sweet little 
 infant's remains were deposited — and I often felt a plea- 
 sure of the sweetest kind, in contemplating that my child 
 liad escaped all the vanities and dangers of the treache- 
 rous and uncertain world, for the never-fading glories of 
 paradise, where I hoped, when life should end, I should 
 meet her to part no more! — notwithstanding, I felt the 
 io.<s very sensibly. 
 
 I wrote to Lorenzo from that place, and received an 
 .3»swer,^whicii was calculated to cousolt my heart, and 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 25 
 
 comfort me under my present affliction. He desired me 
 to meet him in Liverpool, on the first of March, "which I 
 did. I went by the way of Frodsham., in Cheshire, down 
 the river, in a large flat, with a man and his wife, that 
 were employed to bring the rock for making salt. The 
 river had been frozen considerably, and was full of ice ; 
 and when the tide came in, it appeared very alarming to 
 me ; but after a little the boat got under way, and we had 
 a tolerable pleasant sail down the river* to Liverpool, 
 where I met with Mr. and Mrs. Forshaw, my kind 
 friends that had succoured me in days past, when I had 
 no one to depend upon on that side of the great ocean !■—• 
 They still were, as ever, friendly ; where I stayed until 
 near the middle of March, when Lorenzo returned from 
 Ireland, which made my heart rejoice ! 
 
 We left Liverpool in a canal boat for the country, and 
 visited several towns, where Lorenzo preached to numer- 
 ous congregations. The people were remarkably atten- 
 tive. There was a pleasant prospect opened before him, 
 and he received more invitations to preach in different 
 parts of the country than he could attend. 
 
 There had a number of people determined to come 
 from Ireland to America with us ; and were accordingly 
 to meet us in Liverpool in April. Consequently, we had 
 but a few weeks to stay in and about Warrington. I 
 had become so much attached to the friends, that it was 
 truly painful to part with them. Our friends came from 
 various parts of the country to bid us farewell ; and we 
 had sweet and melting times together, not expecting to 
 meet again until we should meet in a blissful eternity. 
 
 We left Warrington for Lymn, where Lorenzo preach- 
 ed, and bid the people farewell ! They were much 
 affected. We parted with a hope of meeting in a better 
 and a happier world. From thence we went to Preston- 
 Brook; where Lorenzo preached again another farewell. 
 It was a precious time to many. From there to Frods- 
 ham — the people flocked round him with the greatest 
 afiection, for there the Lord had blessed his labours in a 
 peculiar manner to the souls of many. He preached to 
 them for the last time, and bid them an affectionate fare= 
 well, while they were bathed in tears, seemingly as 
 much pained as though they were parting with a parents 
 3* 
 
S6 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 From thence he went to Chester, the most ancient 
 *ity, perhaps, in that country, except London ! He left 
 me to come in the coach a' few days after, whilst he 
 visited th^ country adjacent. Accordingly I met him on 
 the day appointed, and we stayed some time in Chester. 
 Jt was a great curiosity, as it was built on the moat 
 ancient construction : being walled in, quite round, and 
 the outside of the wall very high; there was a trench 
 dug on the outside, and it was walled up from that* 
 The top of the wall was wide enough for a carriage 
 to pass, with a breast-work sufficiently high to prevent 
 any thin^ from failing over, and upon the inside was 
 another similtir! 
 
 The antiquity of the houses, and the nobleness of the 
 public buildings, struck me with a solemnity that I can- 
 not express. My thoughts ran to times that had gone by, 
 when those that had laid the foundation of these walls 
 were animated with life and activity! Where are they 
 now? They have gon«3 to a world of spirits — and we 
 must shortly follow them! And those that take our 
 place, will wonder at the labour of our hands in like 
 manner ! 
 
 The country is truly delightful that surrounds the city 
 of Chester, It was in the spring when I was there, whea 
 every thing wears a pleasing appearance. 
 
 The people were very hospitable and kind, at least 
 they were so to me. 
 
 We left Chester for Liverpool in a little sail boat, and 
 the river was something rough. There was a number 
 of passengers, which made it quite unpleasant ; but we 
 arrived safe in the evening, where we met our friends 
 from Ireland, that intended to come to America with us. 
 Lorenzo had made the necessary preparations for the 
 voyage ; and he had chartered the cabin and steerage for 
 the accommodation of passengers, at a lower rate than 
 he could have got it, if there had been but two or three. 
 
 The first ship that he engaged to transport us to our 
 native soil, sprang a leak as she was coming out of dock; 
 ^ot injured by some means, and had to unlade, and get 
 It repaired ; so that it delayed her sailing for some time 
 longer. But as we were in readiness to leave the country, 
 Lorenzo met with another, where he could obtain accom- 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 27 
 
 modations at a better rate : he accordingly made a bargain 
 with the captain for a passage in her, and every thing 
 being prepared for our voyage, on the sixth of May we 
 hoisted sail and weighed for America, which gave me a 
 very pleasant sensation ; after having been in England 
 and Ireland about eighteen months, and experiencing 
 many kindnesses and favours from tlje people j and that 
 Lorenzo was made an instrument in the hand of a gra- 
 cious God, in bringing many precious souls to the know- 
 ledge of the truth. 
 
 On the first day, in the morning, we had a very plea- 
 sant breeze, but the fog springing up, it was something 
 gloomy for several days — but by that means we avoided 
 the ships of war, that were very numerous on the coast 
 of England ; and as Lorenzo and myself had no legal 
 passports from that country, the law being such, that 
 aliens were much put to it to travel in that kingdom j and 
 particularly those that were in Lorenzo's capacity, such 
 as preachers : they must first take the oath of allegiance 
 to the king of England, and get a license to preach, or 
 they were subject to a fine for every sermon they should 
 preach, of twenty pounds each ; and every house must 
 be licensed also, or the man that owned it was subject to 
 a fine of twenty pounds ; and every person that heard 
 preaching there, were likewise liable to pay five shillings ! 
 But Lorenzo, in the first place, could not take the oath 
 that was requested, to obtain the license — he thought as 
 he had left his native land, not to gain worldly honour or 
 applause, he could still trust that Providence, who had 
 guided his course through the great deep, and brought 
 him through many dangers and difficulties in his ov/n 
 country, so he strove to do his duty, and leave the event 
 to God. 
 
 We had a very pleasant voyage, except the passengers 
 were generally sick, for more than a week, except my 
 husband and self. I was never better in my life — but 
 they recovered their health and spirits after a few days ; 
 and we had some very good times on board. Lorenzo 
 preached to the people on Sundays, and we had prayers 
 night and, morning, when the weather would admit. 
 We had plenty of the necessaries of life to make us 
 comfortable. • 
 4* 
 
28 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 We were near six weeks on our passage. Some iirtie 
 towards the last of June, we saw the long-wished for 
 land of A'n.erica, which I so earnestly desired to behold 
 once more. The beautiful feountry and town of New 
 Bedford, in Massachusetts, presented to view, where we 
 landed, and was kindly received. 
 
 The people that professed religion were chiefly quakers, 
 and those who styled themselves Christians. Lorenzo 
 h?ld several meetings in the town, which was very satis- 
 factoiy to many. 
 
 After staying near two weeks in Bedford, Lorenzo, 
 with nearly all the passengers that were in the ship, 
 went on board a packet for New York ; and left me to 
 come round with the other women in the ship, to Vir- 
 ginia^ and to meet him in Richmond. 
 
 We parted, and I had to stay nearly two weeks before 
 the ship sailed ; they were taking out the lading, and pre- 
 paring her for a fresh cargo when they should arrive at 
 Virginia. It was about the time that the ship Chesapeake 
 was fired upon by the British ! We sailed from New 
 Bedford about the first of July, and had tolerable pleasant 
 weather, though we were lonely, not having any com- 
 pany but us three women. We got into Chesapeake 
 Bay at evening, and passed one of the armed vessels 
 belonging to the British, and expected them to have 
 stopped us, as it had been reported that they were in the 
 habit of requiring the captains of American vessels to 
 pull down their colours to them, or else firing upon them. 
 However, we passed unmolested, except that they hailed 
 us ; but it being dark, we got by. Sister Wade was 
 very much alarmed : but I felt so much of the spirit of 
 Independent America, that I did not wish my country's 
 flag to be disgraced in our own waters. In the morning 
 we came into Hampton Bocids, where we anchored and 
 stayed several days, in sight of the British ships of war, 
 while the captain took a boat and went to Norfolk to seek 
 for a cargo. 
 
 ^""e were in a very unpleasant situation, as we had no 
 one on 'board that we could place any real confidence in ; 
 but Providence provided for us, and we met with no 
 insults from any. The captain returned at night, and 
 jtha next morning we set sail for Citi/ PoinU The day 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 29 
 
 Was delightful, and the scenes that surrounded were truly 
 pleasing. The river seemed by the bends to be inclosed 
 m on every side ; and the banks to be covered with all 
 the beauties that summer could produce, which gave my 
 mind a pleasant sensation, when I reflected that it was 
 my native country — my beloved America ! But little 
 did I know what awaited me in my native land! 
 
 We sailed on very pleasantly through the day, and 
 about eight or nine o'clock we arrived at City Point. 
 The ship was in the river, until her lading was brought 
 down from Richmond in lighters. The weather was 
 getting very warm, and we were obliged to stay on board 
 until we could get an opportunity to go to Richmond, 
 which, by land, was not more than twenty-five miles ; but 
 by water it was, perhaps, twice as far. And here tinie 
 passed away very heavily, until the master of the ship 
 went up to Richmond on business, and hired a hack to 
 return ; consequently we embraced the opportunity, when 
 it returned, to get a seat in it up to Richmond, leaving 
 our trunks and other things to be brought up by the boats, 
 that were to bring down the lading for the ship. 
 
 We bid farewell to the ship, where I had been confined 
 the most of the time for near three months ; and it was a 
 happy day for me, although I was in a part of the con- 
 tinent th-t I had never been in before. I felt as though I 
 could kiss the ground : but my companion, Mrs. Wade, 
 her mind was occupied in quite a different way,— she 
 was thousands of miles from her native land, Avhile I was 
 breathing my native air. 
 
 We arrived in Richmond about one or two o'clock, 
 and stopped at the ^^ Bell Tavern,''^ strangers to all thai 
 we saw: however, I had received a direction where to 
 go, and make myself known ; which I did, at a JDrother 
 Foster^s^ and when they learned w^ho I was, received us 
 very kindly: but it was a severe trial, it being the first 
 time I had been obliged to call on friends, without any 
 one to introduce me. But the Lord provided for me, anJi 
 I found many friends in that place: we stayed ther« 
 some days. 
 
 Brother Wade and Lorenzo came and met us, and the 
 latter held several meetings, and we had good times with 
 
^0 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 the brethren. There I saw the girt that brother Mead 
 has since married. 
 
 Lorenzo had bought a span of mules before he went 
 to Europe ; and they were to be broke for a carriage by 
 the time he should return 5 but they were taken and put 
 into a wagon, and so broke down that they were unfit 
 for use. He had paid eighty pounds for them just before 
 he left the continent j this was the beginning of trouble 
 to him. 
 
 We obtained the loan of a gig from one of our friends, 
 to carry us up as far as Cumherland, to Mr. John Hoh- 
 so7i's, who had been a great friend to Lorenzo in days 
 that were past and gone, and still appeared to be such : 
 here he traded off his mules with a man, for a horse and 
 gig not worth half the money that he payed for them ; 
 but he could do no better, as we were under the necessity 
 of going to the 7iorth, to make ready to go to the Missis- 
 sippi, where my relations had gone, and I was very 
 anxious to go. But O the heart-felt sorrow they were 
 the cause of to me and my companion after ! 
 
 We left our friend's house, and started for the north. — 
 As we had written to my sister in the Mississippi., on 
 our first arrival in America, but had got no answer from 
 them, I felt very desirous to hear from her, as she was as 
 a mother to me in my infant days — I loved her dearly. 
 
 We went through New London and Lynchburg, where 
 we rnet with many friends, and attended a Camp-Meet- 
 ing in Amherst; from thence to New Glasgow, where 
 Lorenzo preached at night : we stayed at an old gentle- 
 man's house, who was very friendly. Thence we con- 
 tinued our journey to a camp-meeting near George-Town, 
 where we stopped and stayed until the meeting broke up. 
 Our horse was at some person's place, to be kept, and I 
 expect got nothing to eat — for we only went from the 
 camp-meeting to Leesburg, and from there to another 
 little town, which was two short days' travel; but before 
 we reached there he tired, and Lorenzo was obliged to 
 trade him away for an old horse that was not worth but 
 a little more than half as much ! However, he answered 
 our purpose, so that we got on to New York, where I met 
 with some friends that I had seen before ; which were 
 Che first /ace^ that I had met with for two years that I 
 
THE WILDERNESS, 31 
 
 had ever beheld before, which gave me much satisfac- 
 tion ! 
 
 We stayed at New York for several weeks, and then 
 started lor New England, to visit Lorenzo's father. I 
 had never seen him, nor any of the family, except one 
 sister : it was a very great cross to me ; but we arrived 
 at his father's some time in September, and was joy-' 
 fully received by him, there being none of the family 
 with them, except one daughter, and one grandson. 
 There my Lorenzo could contemplate the days oi youth ; 
 for that was the place of his birtli, and of his rambles in 
 ckildhood : the place where he first sought the path of 
 rig/Ueous?iess — the way to peace and true happiness, iii 
 this world and that which is to come! The iiouse from 
 where his honoured mother had taken iier flight to a hap- 
 pier dine — where once he had enjoyed her company, 
 with the rest of the family ; but now were separated 
 hundreds of miles asunder ! 
 
 Lorenzo held several meetings in the neighbourhood, 
 and had tolerable solemn limes: but the society that he 
 once belonged to was quite gone! Some hud died, aud 
 others had moved away, while others had gone hack into 
 the world, and lost their love to Christ and his cause, 
 which made him feel very awful ! His father was a 
 worthy old man, a kind friend, an adectionate parent — he 
 was every thing that was good in l)i-> family. I thought 
 I cou.d have done the part of a child for him, if I migiit 
 have the privilege; but I felt a strong desire to see my 
 sister, in the IMississippi. 
 
 We went to Toll ind, where Lorenzo had sent aa 
 appointment to preach at a Methodist meeting-house, and 
 I did not expect to return to his father's any more; but 
 Lorenzo's si%ter from Vermont coming down to her 
 father's, we returned, and stayed two or three days longer. 
 
 Lorenzo sold his gig and horse to a preacher, and 
 bought his brother-in-law's horses, to return to NeiD 
 York^ where he had made an engagement with a man 
 to make him a light wagon, which v^-^s to be ready oa 
 his return for the iSouth. 
 
 We left his father's on horse-bsck, after bidding them 
 farev.'ell : but as I had not been accustomed lo travel in 
 that mode for a Iod^; ume, it wa:> very fatiguing to me^ 
 
32 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 so that 1 could not endure it ; and when I got withia 
 about forty miles ol" New York, I was obliged to go by 
 ■water the remainder of the way, while Lorenzo rode one 
 horse and led the other. He arrived there some time 
 before me, and had gone to ihe country, about ten or 
 twelve miles from the city, ta preach, but returned that 
 night. We stayed a week or more until our wa^on was 
 ready for us to start ; then bidding our friends farewell^ 
 proceeded on our journey. 
 
 Lorenzo had given out appoinimeiats all the way ta 
 Virginia, and had tolerable hard work to keep up withL 
 them — we had to travel nearly one whole night over the- 
 mountain from Frederick-Town to the Potomac river,- 
 which we crossed about two o'clock in the momfng.- 
 
 Lorenzo's appointment was some distance the other 
 side of the river ; we lay down, and as soon as it was- 
 light we started again, and reached the court-house just 
 as the people had assembled. I went to-a friend's house, 
 while Lorenzo preached to the people. After meeting 
 we went on to tlie next appointment, where he preached 
 again at night also: and so continued on our journey, 
 until we arrived in Virginia. Lorenzo preached every 
 day, once, and twice, and three times ; and when we 
 arrived at Winchester, he preached twice to large con- 
 gregations. From thence we went to a Camp-Meeting^ 
 where I saw brother Grober, a presiding elder, that I had 
 been acquainted with a number of years ago. which was 
 very satisfactory to me. 
 
 We l^eftthe camp-ground in the morning for ♦S'town/ow, 
 where Lorenzo had an appointment at night. It was 
 threatening to rain in the morning when we started, and 
 about twelve o'clock it began, and rained almost as fast 
 as I ever saw it : we were in an open wagon, and I was 
 wet through and through. As it continued to rain exces- 
 sively all the afternoon, when we arrived at Staunton it 
 was almost dark, and the people had assembled for meet- 
 ing; Lorenzo had not time to take any refreshment, but 
 went and preached in his wet clothes. We were received 
 with coolness by the family that we stayed with, although 
 he was acquainted Avith them before — tut that is nothing^ 
 uncommon ; man is so changeable in his nature, that we 
 may find him at one time all friendship, and perhaps the 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 33 
 
 next day he is as cool as need be. Hence I have found 
 it necessary to strive to lake it as it comes ; to be thank- 
 ful for friends, when I find them; and to be satisfied 
 when I have them not. 
 
 It was on Saturday night that we got to Staunton, and 
 Lorenzo intended to stay until Monday morning. On 
 Sunday morning brother Wade came from New London 
 to meet us, and carry me home with him ; and Lorenzo 
 had calculated on leaving me at Hobson^s, in Cumber- 
 laud, while he went to the Mississippi territory ; conse- 
 quently he thought it best for me to go to New London 
 with brother Wade, who was anxious for me to go and 
 stay with his wife a few months, as she was a stranger 
 in this country ; and my coming to America in company 
 with her, it made us like sisters indeed. It vv^as a trial 
 to my mind to part with my companion for nine or ten 
 months ; as I did not expect to be with him but a few 
 days, even if I went on to Cumberland with him, as he 
 then must leave me, and start for the country where my 
 sister lived; accordingly we parted, and I went home 
 with brother Wade. This was on Sunday, and he was 
 to leave Staunton the next morning. My spirits were 
 very much depressed ; but I did not know what laid 
 before me. I arrived in New London in safety, and was 
 kindly received by sister Wade, and had got tolerably 
 composed, when I received a letter from Lorenzo, which 
 gave me an account of the imprudence of my sister that 
 lived in the Mississippi — but it was in so dark a style 
 that I did not comprehend it fully, as I could not believe 
 that she would be guilty of such enormities. I, thought 
 .some one had charged her without grounds: that was 
 some consolation to me, as I hoped it was not true. I 
 was in hopes that he would come through New London, 
 and give me a more full account of the circumstance ; 
 but he could not, consistently with his arrangements. I 
 was in great distress of mind on her account, as she had 
 been a great professor of religion, and the cause must 
 sufier by her falling so foully : and the disgrace attending; 
 it was almost unbearable. Brother Mead and his wife 
 came through New London on their way to Georgia, 
 and brought the news that Lorenzo was not coming 
 ihrough 3iat place, which made my heart almost siak 
 
34 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 within me, 1 felt as though the trial was more than I 
 could bear — but this was but the beginning of sorrow. 
 
 I stayed at brother Wade's for more t'han two months, 
 and was kindly treated by him and his wife, and many 
 others ; and had many good times in meeting with the 
 children of God, to worship him. The letter that I had 
 received from Lorenzo in Cumberland, had stated that 
 my sister had been guilty of very improper conduct, but 
 that she was penitent. But when Lorenzo got to Georgia, 
 he received a letter from brother Biackinmi^ stating that 
 she had escaped from her husband with a young man, 
 and had gone over the line into the Spanish country, to 
 elade the displeasure of their connexions. It was then 
 an undeniable fact that she was really guilty — and Lo- 
 renzo wrote to me from Georgia a full account of the 
 circarastancsj v/hich gave me the severest wound that I 
 had ever felt. To have heard of her death. -Q hov/ much 
 more preferable ! — bat I had no other way, but must sub- 
 mit. My dear sister, that lay so near my heart, had 
 strayed so widely from the path of rectitude— it was 
 sach a heart-reriding afRiction. I thought it was almost 
 mere than 1 f!Ouid bear F-'It appeared impossible that she 
 iouid he so far lost to her own honour, arid tAe Ipve that 
 she had manifested to the cause cf God, and the pros- 
 perity ot- Zion, as to be guilty of such an atroci^pUiS crim^. 
 But so it is, that some who make the greatest show o; 
 religion, wound it the deepest. So it was in this case : 
 She had professed to have experienced the blessing of 
 jeiigioR for many years ; and was as much opposed to 
 any tiling that had the appearance of iinvrudence in her 
 own Scrx, as any person that ever I knew/ She was mar- 
 ried wiien young to a man that was inferior to her, in 
 point of talents, and was not calculated to get the world, 
 a3 the saying is, as much as many other;; — and she pos^ 
 sassed a very proud spirit, together with a very quick 
 temper; anl he not having as mild a disposition as might 
 be, they were unhappy in their union, which was attended 
 with many disagreements. He was subject to intoxica- 
 tion, and that was frequently the cause of much misery 
 between them ! I was witness, many times, to such con- 
 duct on both sides that gave me the greatest pain of any 
 ghing that could iiave befallen rae. I often would beg 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 35 
 
 my sister to say nothing^ but her turbulent dispo; a 
 Was such, that I 'have thought she would almost ier 
 death, rattier than submit taauy one. 
 
 They lived in that way for many years. — S. j was 
 very industrious, and strove hard to live ; but he was 
 negligent, and ohen spent more than he made ! They 
 removed, when they were first married, into the state of 
 New York^ about ninety miles from the place of their 
 nativity, where they lived five or six years ; she had 
 religion at that time, and he oppesed her very much, as 
 she had joined the Baptist church before she left Neic 
 England; but after leaving her Christian friends, and 
 having so much opposition, she had lost her religion 
 almost entirely, and become like the rest of the world. 
 At that time the Methodists came into the neighbour- 
 hood, and she became acquainted with them, and would 
 have joined their society, but her husband would not per- 
 mit it — but she attended their meetings, and was much 
 engaged at that time. My brother-in-law took it into his 
 head to remove to Foi-t Stanwix, on the Mohawk river, 
 within seventy or eighty miles of the line of Canada^ 
 and she backslid again, not having any to converse with 
 but those that were unacquainted with God or them- 
 selves ! O how prone we are to forget the obligations 
 we are under to our Saviour, notwithstanding it is on his 
 bounty we live ! we are indebted to him for every mercy 
 that we enjoy ! She continued to live in that careless 
 way for several years, until I was, perhaps, eighteen 
 years of age, and the Methodists found her out again, 
 and I got under distress for my soul: and she was stirred 
 up again, and I believe had religion. My brother-in-law 
 opposed qs with all his might. They had got in a toler- 
 able good way before this, and there was a prospect that 
 they might live comfortable, as to the things of this life ; 
 but he possessed such an uneasy disposition, that he 
 could never be satisfied unless he was trading^ and he 
 had but a poor talent for that business. He sold his 
 plantation, that he could have made a comfortable living 
 upon, to a man that was a sharper, on trust, and took no 
 security — the man sold his property, a^^u leared himself, 
 without making any compensation for the land. This 
 was a very great afflictioa to my sister, as she had made 
 
m VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 ever)' exertion for a living that a woman could do, and 
 strove in every way she could to prevent his selling his 
 place— but all to no purpose. He carried on a great 
 stroke at driniving, and spending his time for nought: she 
 was' harrassed and troubled on every side, not enjoying 
 that satisfaction in religion she had formerly done — it 
 made her truly wretched ! I strove to comfort her in 
 every way that I could. — We supported the family by 
 our labour, Aveaving, spinning, and sewing, and any kind 
 of work that we could do. 
 
 This continued for more than twelve months, and then 
 he took a little farm of about fifty acres of land, with a 
 comfortable house for a small family, that suited us very 
 well; the rent being small, he could have lived as well 
 as need be, if he would have been industrious. He was 
 of a turn that was rather indolent and careless, but my 
 sister and myself kept the family in tolerable comfortable 
 circumstances. 
 
 It was at that time that the Methodist preachers came 
 into the neighbourhood, and preached the gospel to poor 
 lost sirmers — my heart was wrought upon, and I set out 
 to seek the salvation of my soiU. My sister heard the 
 pleasing sound with gladness, but my brother-in-law was 
 violently opposed to them, and strove in every way that 
 he could to prevent us from going to meeting ; but I felt 
 determined to seek the Lord vnth all my heart, come 
 what would, and strive to save my soul ! It was near 
 twelve months before I joined Society, or my sister; but 
 at last we broke through and joined the people called 
 Methodists — and I have never seen the time that I was 
 sorry that I cast my lot with them ; but I have often 
 lamented that I did not live nearer to the gospel rules 
 that they teach ! 
 
 After we had joined society, my brother-in-law became 
 somewhat more softened, and let us have more peace, 
 and would sometimes go to meeting ; but he still con- 
 tinued to go in the same evil practice of spending his 
 time in the most unprofitable way — but the preachers 
 and people that feared God ceased not to pray for him, 
 and at last he was brought to see his situation, and the 
 danger of living in sin, and set about the work of his 
 own salvation ; and I doubt not but he experienced the 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 37 
 
 pardon of his sins. O the joy that was felt on this occa- 
 sion ! we had, as it were, a heaven begun below ! He 
 became a new man, and Providence seemed to bless us 
 on every side — and we continued to enjoy the consola- 
 tions of religion for several years, and the Lord pros- 
 pered us in all our undertakings until after I was married; 
 and they started for the JMississippi, and my husband 
 and myself parted with them: we were coming for New 
 York, and from thence to sail for Europe. 
 
 They went to that country, and it appeared they left 
 all the prudence that they ever possessed behind them ; 
 for when they arrived, he, it appeared, thought that he 
 could launch into building milU\ not counting the cost 
 that he must be at, but calcalaiing that Lorenzo, when 
 he returned from his tour in Europe, would pay all 
 expenses — he ran into debt for land that had a mill sejit 
 upon it, and began to erect a mill. 
 
 Some people were much pleased with them, as they 
 appeared to be engaged in religion. My sister was very 
 much respected by the people, both religious and irre- 
 ligious — but O the danger we are exposed to while in 
 this world. She was possessed of good natural abilities, 
 and considerable acquired knowledge, and was the last 
 person I should have thought would have conducted in 
 the way she did ; but we have need to vxitch and pray, 
 lest we enter into temptation. She had lived with her 
 husband for twenty years at least, and I never heard or 
 knew any thing laid to her charge of that nature, before 
 or after her marriage — and she had been a guide to me in 
 my youth, and 1 suppose, possessed as great a sense of 
 honour as any person I ever knew. But how it was I 
 cannot tell : she fell into a snare of the enemy, and 
 became a prey to the most unaccountable of all vices. 
 There was a young man, that was a most abandoned 
 character in principle, that was taken into the family, 
 that she was fond of by some means ; and there was a 
 criminal intercourse between them for several months 
 before it was discovered. She was in society, and 
 thought to be very pious, but at last it was mistrusted 
 by some, and a plan laid to detect them, v/hich was 
 accomplished — and when it was proved upon her, she 
 gave some marks of penitence, and her husband would 
 3 
 
38 f rcissrruDEB m 
 
 have made friends with her; but when the devil gets fie' 
 advantage oi' poor infatuated mortals, he makes the best 
 inaprovement of it in bis power. So it was in this- case ;■ 
 for I expect her sorrow was but slight, if she was in the' 
 least affected with sorrow— for as soon as she found that 
 Lorenzo and myself had returned to America, she laid 
 every plan to make her escape with that wretched young- 
 man, into the Spanish country, v/hich she effected, and* 
 kft her husband in a state of mind almost frantic : he had 
 more affection for her than I once thought him capable 
 of. He went after her, and strove to get her to returnj- 
 But she v/ould n-ot. I do not think there evei was as per- 
 manent a union between them as was necessary for 
 happiness, O the misery of many that are joined in the 
 hoiy bands of matrimony : for the want of due con- 
 sideration they rush into that state, and are wretched for 
 life. 
 
 When she completed her wicked plan, information 
 Was communicated to us— my Lorenzo had left me, and 
 started for that country. No one can paint the heart-felt 
 sorrow that I experienced on receiving the information i 
 I felt as though I was deprived of almost all my earthly 
 comfort ! 1 felt I could not believe it possible that she 
 could have acted in that miserable, disgraceful manner ; 
 t>ut it was even sol Many have been the nights that I 
 have wet my pillow with tears upon her account, but ail 
 fo no purpose. O that it may be a warning to me to 
 watch and pr.3iy, lest I enter into temptation ! Lorenzo 
 went on, and found my poor brother-in-lavrin a wretched 
 state of mind, and every thing tha-t he had was in a 
 ruinous condition ; and furthermore, they had run so 
 deeply in debt that it was irai»ossible for my brother-in- 
 law to extricate himself from it. He had made a con- 
 tract with a couple of girls for a trac:t of land that had a 
 mill-seat upon it, and began to build a mill, without a 
 title to the land ! When Lorenzo came, he wished 
 Lorenzo to assist him to procure the land, that he might 
 not be in danger of losing his labour. Lorenzo felt a 
 very great reluctance to engage in any thing of the kind, 
 but by the persuasion of friends he was prevailed upon 
 to make a contract with the girls for the land, and like- 
 wise paid the old man for his labourj as he desired to 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 3t 
 
 «tum to the state of New York. There was consider- 
 able less th-an one hundred acres, with a log cabin upon, 
 it — he paid a very enormous price, which was a great 
 disadvantage ; as Lorenzo was not a man that felt % 
 freedom to have mitch te do with the world, ex<!ept when 
 he could not well avoid it. After he got the place, he 
 scarcely knew what to do with it: The mill was not 
 iinished ; there was a dam and mill frame, but the dara 
 had broke, and it was uncertain whether it could be made 
 to stand, as the banks of the stream that it was erected 
 'On were so subject to wash in times of high water- 
 There was a man who thought he could make it stand : 
 ■Lorenzo made an offer to him of the place, if he would 
 take it, and make a mill upon it, he should have one half 
 ■of the mill. Accordingly he undertook, and repaired the 
 dam, so that it sawed some that winter- He intended to 
 tear up the old foundation, and build entirely on another 
 plan — and was to have the use of the old mill until he 
 should get the other finished. 
 
 People in -that cGuatry appeared anxious that Lorenzo 
 should come to that part of the world, and get a residences 
 Xhey taHced that they would assist iis in any thing that 
 we needed ; a'nd as Lorenzo thought th«t it might be 
 best to prepare for sickness, and for whatever might 
 befall us, he concluded to come for me and bring me 
 with Jiim to that country. I had felt a great desire to go 
 to the Mississippi, before my friends had conducted them- 
 iselves in that wretched way, but now I felt a relujctance 
 to goings for it appeared to me that I eould not hold up 
 my head in the place, where my ovv'n sister had disgraced 
 herself and me. My heart recoiled at the thought of 
 ^eing a mark, as I knew I must, for people to look at. 
 2ind say. That is a sister to such a woman; and she had 
 been guilty of an odious criroe. But as my Lorenzo 
 thought it would be best for me to go, I made no objec- 
 tion. He returned m June to Cumberlami, ia Virginia^ 
 and we started for the Norths and went on to New York, 
 where we stayed a few days — and from thence to Albany, 
 where Lorenzo left me, and xrontinued to journey on to 
 his father^s, in Conneciicut^ Jjeing gone six or sevea 
 weeks. 
 
 i stayed ia Albany part of the time, aad Troy^ and I 
 3* 
 
40 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 also went to see my brother, that lived ne^ir Schenectady f 
 he did not profess religion, but was friendly to it — I stayed 
 there a few days. 
 
 There was a Cawp-Meeting withiri eight or ten miles, 
 where I expected to meet Lorenzo: my brother and his 
 wife went with me to the place on the commencement 
 of it, and there to my great joy I met my companion^ 
 with many others of my acquaintance, that I had been 
 acquainted with many years before. The meeting was 
 attended with good to many — we stayed intil the close, 
 and then we went with some very kind friends to Troy^ 
 wko gave Lorenzo a good suit of clothes, and were as 
 affectionate to us as people could be. 
 
 My brother-in-law, who came from the Mississippi, 
 had been to the place that he left when he removed to 
 the South; was at the meeting, and came down to Troy 
 after us, as Lorenzo Avas to let him have some books on 
 the account of his labour at the Mississippi — he did so — 
 but this was not the end of trouble to us. It gave me 
 inexpressible pain to see the man that I thought had been 
 the cause, in one sense, of the destruction of my poor 
 sister; for he had bfen an unkind husband in the days 
 that were past. Although I could not excuse her, yet I 
 believe, if he had done as he ought, she never would 
 have become what stie did. But they were not equally 
 yoked together : he had some good traits in his character, 
 but he was indolent, and a bad economist, — consequently 
 kept them behind hand. She was industrious, and would 
 have managed well, if she had been united to a man that 
 would have stood in his place, and made her known^ and 
 kept her's — for she possessed a turbulent disposition. 
 But he was neither a good husband, nor a good manager: 
 that made her fret at him, and he would not take it from 
 her. Thus it was a means of their living a consider- 
 able part ot their time in discontent : but after they both 
 experienced religion, they lived more agreeable, until 
 they removed to the Mississippi, and she fell in with that 
 young man, who proved her ruin.* 
 
 * From a train of circnmsiances, which correppond and hang 
 together like a chain of truth, it appears, that there was a combination 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 41 
 
 We parted with our friends at Troy, after getting a 
 small wagon and two horses, and what litfle we couLd 
 get together, and started across i?iie country to the Western 
 waters, in company with a young man that came with us 
 from Europe, and a brother Valentine, from the state of 
 New York, who wished to go to that country. We tra- 
 velled with as little expense as possible, through the 
 state of Pennsylvania, and struck the Ohio River at 
 Wheeling, where we stayed for near two weeks, at a 
 Quaker's, who was very kind to me. Lorenzo strove 
 to get a passage in a flat- bottomed boat, where they 
 frequently took horses, carriages, and produce, with fami- 
 lies that are wishing to remove to that country — but he 
 could not obtain one that would take his horses, conse- 
 quently he was under the necessity of taking his horses 
 through by land : he met with a person who was going 
 down the river with a loaded barge to Natchez — they 
 engaged to carry me with some trunks, and other baggage. 
 These people were friendly Quakers, who owned the 
 boat that Lorenzo had engaged my passage in. But they 
 were not ready to sail for some time 3 accordingly Lorenzo 
 left me with the young man that came with us from 
 Europe, to go down the river in this boat, while he went 
 on by land. I felt very gloomy to be left among strangers, 
 and to go on board a boat w^ith a company of men, with- 
 out one woman for a companion. 
 
 But the people in Wheeling were very kind to me 
 while I stayed there, after Lorenzo left me, which gave 
 me much satistaction. They provided me with many 
 necessaries for the voyage, such as sugar, and tea, and 
 other things to make me comfortable, for which may the 
 Lord reward them. 
 
 I stayed at W^heeling between one and two weeks after 
 Lorenzo left me. In that time the people who owned 
 the boat sold it to a couple of doctors from Virginia^ 
 
 of Deists, one of whom was a physician, sought the overthrow of 
 the family : through the object of temfora] gain, (they being a family 
 connection of those who owned the mill-seat,) and lo bring a stigma 
 upon the cause of religion !— She was consiUefftbly over forty year* 
 ei a^Ql this time of l^r life I 
 
 4 
 
42 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 with all that appertained to it ; but they made a resen'e 
 for me still to go in the boat. This was a very trying 
 time to rae : the people that owned the boat, when 
 Lorenzo applied for me to go down in it, were plain 
 Q,uakers, and they promised Lorenzo to take good care 
 of me ; but the man that had bought the boat was quite 
 of a diiferent appearance, although he was in a gentle- 
 man's garb. The young man that was with me went a3 
 a hand to help work the boat;~we went on board at 
 evening—the barge was laden with flour and cider, and 
 various kinds of produce that were fitted for the A^ai- 
 chez j—there Avas a small cabin, where there were two 
 births, where three or four persons might sleep tolerably 
 comfortable. There I was obliged to rest at night: and 
 there was a small vacancy between this cabin and the 
 other part of the boat, where they had run up a small 
 chimney, where they could cook provisions. In this 
 gloomy situation, I was fixed to start for the Missis- 
 sippi, w^here I knew I must meet with many trials, if 
 ever 1 should reach there. 
 
 The river, at the time v/hen we started, was very low, 
 and we made but slow progress for many days together. 
 I could not set my foot on land — shut up in a boat, with 
 none but men, and those of that class who neither feared 
 God or man: though they, for the iiiost part, treated me 
 with ciLuUty. None can tell how disagreeable such a 
 situation is, but those who have passed through some 
 things similar. 
 
 We left Wheeling about the last of October. The 
 boat stopped at Lymestone in Kentucky^ for part of one 
 day and a night : there Lorenzo had some acquaintances ; 
 and when they found out that I was on board of this 
 boat, some oi them came down to see me, and invited 
 me to go on shore and stay the night, which I accepted 
 with thankfulness. 
 
 I had some hope that Lorenzo would arrive there 
 before the boat would start in the morning. O how 
 anxiously I looked out for him, but he did not come — 
 and had to go on board the boat very early in the mor- 
 ning, and continue on my journey with a very heavy 
 heart. My mind was much depressed — the prospects 
 before me were dark, when I should reach my place of 
 
THE WILDERNESS, 43 
 
 destination : and the weather was uncommonly cold for 
 that climate and season. 
 
 After being confined on board of the boat for six weeks, 
 we reached the mouth of Byopeare, about twelve miles 
 from Gibson Port, which was forty miles from Natchez, 
 We left the boat, myself and the young man that was 
 with me — took our things to a public house ; but that was 
 ten or twelve miles from the place that we wished to get. 
 I had never been in that country before, but Lorenzo had 
 several times ; and hence I had some grounds to exjiect I 
 should find some friends, as many of them had manifested 
 a desire that I should come to that country : but my sister 
 had conducted in such a manner, that it made my way 
 difficult; and how to get to the neighbourhood that I 
 wished to go to, I did not know. 
 
 However, brother Valentine, that came with us from 
 the slate of Neio .York, travelled by land with Lorenzo 
 as far as Lymestone, and then put his horse on board of 
 a boat, and worked his passage down to the same place 
 that I was at. I landed at night, and he came in the 
 morning— so that I was provided for. We left our things 
 at this public house, and I rode the horse, while he and 
 the young man walked about twelve miles through the 
 mud. This was about the twelfth of January. We 
 stayed at Gibson Port that night, about four miles from 
 the place where my sister had lived, and brought such a 
 stain on the cause of religion. We were all strangers ; 
 but Lorenzo had wrote to some friends that we were 
 coming — and furthermore, he had requested them if I 
 should arrive before him, that they would take care of me 
 until he should come. 
 
 We left Gibson Port and went to the neighbourhood 
 of the mill, to the house of Samuel Cobun. He did not 
 profess religion, tliough he was very kind and humane j 
 but he had two sisters, that were members of the Metho- 
 dist church. He had no wife living, and they lived with 
 him to take care of his family— they had been friends to 
 my sister, when she first went to that country. They 
 received me, apparently with affection, which was a con- 
 solation to my heart ; for I expected to meet with many 
 a cool look on the account of my poor unfortunate sister ; 
 which I expect I did ; but I do not blame them) as it had 
 
44 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 given them so much pain — ^but 1 could not help it. How- 
 ever, I stayed at Mr. Cobun's until Lorenzo came ; as 
 those that professed religion seemed not to take much 
 notice of me. When Lorenzo left me at Wheeling, he 
 went on through the states of Ohio^ Kentucky^ and Ten.' 
 nessee, and so on through the Indian country to the 
 Mississippi territory. 
 
 A man that was a Methodist and preached, who had 
 appeared very friendly to Lorenzo in days that were past, 
 to whom Lorenzo had written, and requested him, if I 
 should reach there before him. that this friend would per- 
 mit me to stay with him. until he should arrive ! But he 
 did not seem very anxious that I should stay at his house: 
 he came over to Mr. Cobun's, which was six or seven 
 miles, to see me, and requested me to come and see 
 them; as though I had been fixed in a comfortable situa- 
 tion, with every thing that I needed. But it was quite 
 the reverse with me ; I had neither house nor friends in 
 that country, without the people chose to befriend me. I 
 was a stranger in a strange land ; in the neighbourhood, 
 where my nearest relatives had conducted very impro- 
 perly, and I expect that was one cause why the friends 
 kept so distant: however, the family that I was with was 
 very kind! I went once to this friend's house, before 
 Lorenzo arrived, which was somewhere about two weeks j 
 I stayed there one night, and then returned to Mr. 
 Cobun's, where I stayed until Lorenzo came to me. 
 
 The winter had been uncommonly severe, and he had 
 a very distressing time through the wilderness, but Pro- 
 vidence had brought him through in safety, which was a 
 matter of rejoicing to my poor heart. 
 
 The cloud that had been gathering for some time, 
 grew darker and darker, so that we scarcely knew which 
 way to turn, or how to extricate ourselves from the diffi- 
 culties that my imprudent friends had brought us into on 
 every side: they had run in debt to merchants, making^ 
 the impression, that when Lorenzo came from Europe, 
 he would pay all. There was some that had befriended 
 them on Lorenzo's account ; these he felt it was his duty 
 to compensate, which he did. My brother-in-law had 
 made a contract with some people in that country for a 
 tract of land, on which was a mill-seat j and v/ithout any 
 
THE WILDJSRNESS. 45 
 
 title whatever, before we returned from Europe he went 
 to building a mill, which involved them still deeper in 
 debt ; and, after Lorenzo returned from Europe and went 
 to that country, which had been nearly twelve months 
 after, and finding him in such a distressed situation, that 
 he, out of pity, stept in to assist him as a kind of mediator, 
 they cast lii'e whole burthen on his shoulders, which 
 proved a heavy one to Lorenzo. 
 
 We arrived there in January. — We had a couple of 
 tolerable good horses, and a small wagon, and some 
 money ; but we were under the necessity of parting with 
 them, and what little money we had was soon gone. 
 The old mill-frame, which was all that was done to the 
 mill, Lorenzo let a man take on such terms as these — 
 that he might undertake to build a mill, if he chose, 
 without any more expense to Lorenzo ; and if he could 
 make one stand, Lorenzo should be entitled to one half. 
 
 We stayed with a family near the mill frame from 
 March until July ; in this time I was taken sick with the 
 fever that is common in that country, on the day that 
 Lorenzo had resolved to prepare to start for Georgia, and 
 my life was despaired of; and the people that had appeared 
 60 desirous that we should come to that country, forsook 
 us ; and had not the man that was styled a Deist^ that 
 first received me into his house, befriended us now, I 
 know not what I should have done ; his two sisters, Eliza- 
 beth and Ann Cobun, were friends indeed : Ann stayed 
 with me night and day for about three weeks, and then 
 we were under the necessity of removing from this house 
 somewhere else ; and where to go we could not tell ! 
 
 However, Mr. Cobun gave us permission to come and 
 stay at his house as long as we chose ; but I was so low 
 at that time that I could not sit up at all. They sewed 
 some blankets together over a frame, similar to a bier to 
 carry the dead, and layed a bed upon it, ami laid me 
 thereon, and two black men conveyed me to his house, 
 which was perhaps a mile. 
 
 The next day Lorenzo was taken very ill also. There 
 we were both confined to our beds, unable to help each 
 other to as much as a drink of water. At that time 
 Lorenzo could not have commanded one dollar^ to have 
 procured so much as a little medicine* 
 5* 
 
46 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 This was a trying time ; and when the storm would be 
 over, we could not tell — but the Lord supported us under 
 these distressing circumstances, or we must have sunk 
 beneath the weight. Forever praised be the adored name 
 of our great Benefactor for all his mercies unto us. 
 
 My fever began to abate, but Lorenzo grew worse j 
 and it was doubtful which way it would terminate with 
 him. O the anguish of heart I felt at this trying jcrac- 
 ture ! I was still so low that I could not sit up but very 
 little, nor walk without assistance, and we were altogether 
 dependent on others for the necessaries of life. Lorenzo 
 appeared to be fast approaching to eternity, but after 
 some weeks he began to gain a little, so that he was able 
 to ride a few miles at a time, and we then removed to 
 brother Randal Gihsoii's, where we stayed a few days. 
 I was still unable to work, as I then had the common 
 ague and fever : which kept me very weak and feeble. 
 After staying there for some time, perhaps two weeks, 
 we returned to friend Baker^s, near the mill. Lorenzo 
 held meetings as much as he was able, and perhaps 
 more, although he was so weak in body and depressed in 
 mind, he did not slack his labours, but preached frequently 
 sitting or laying down. There was a young man, who 
 died about six or seven miles from where we then were, 
 desired Lorenzo should preach at his funeral: he was 
 still very feeble, but wished to be of some use to his 
 fellow mortals, the few days he might have to stay in 
 this world of woe. 
 
 He started soon in the morning to attend the funeral^ 
 and brother Baker with him. This was on Sunday ; 
 he preached to a croAvded congregation, with considerable 
 liberty ; the people were tender and attentive. After the 
 conclusion of the ceremony, he started to return to brother 
 Bakery's, where he had left me, and had rode but a few 
 miles before he Avas taken suddenly ill, and would have 
 fallen from his horse, if friend Baker had not saw that 
 something was the matter ; and being active, he sprang 
 from his horse, and caught him before he fell to the 
 ground; and as it happened they were near a small 
 cabin, that was occupied by a man that professed religion. 
 They conveyed him into it senseless, and so he continued 
 fof some time } and when he came to hinieel/y he was in 
 
THE WILDERNESS, 47 
 
 the most excruciating pain imaginable. They gave him 
 a large quantity of laudanum, which gave him some little 
 relief; but he could not be removed tiom that place. 
 
 Brother Baker stayed with him until nearly night, and 
 then came home. I had become very uneasy in my mind 
 on his account, as he did not return according to my 
 expectation ; w^hen this friend came and told me Lorenzo's 
 situation, — my heart trembled lest 1 should be called to 
 relinquish my claim, and resign him up to the pale mes- 
 senger. It made me cry mightily to God to give me 
 strength to say, " The will of the Lord be done." I had 
 no reason to doubt, if the great Master saw it best to 
 remove him from this region of pain, he would be con- 
 veyed by angelic bands to the realms of peace and happi- 
 ness, where he would have to suffer no more pain and 
 affliction, neither of body or mind ; — but it was a task too 
 hard for me to accomplish, without the immediate assist- 
 ance of the Friend of sinners. 
 
 1 slept but little that night, and early the next morning 
 the friend at whose house Lorenzo was, came with two 
 horses to take me to him — when I arrived there, I found 
 him in a very distressed situation ; he could not be moved 
 in any position whatever, without the greatest pain ; he 
 could lie no way, except on his back, and in this position 
 he lay for ten days. The disorder was in his left side, and 
 across his bowels ; I was apprehensive it would terminate 
 in a mortification, and others I believe were of the same 
 opinion. Oae day we thought he was dying, the whole 
 day ; he was unable to speak for the greater part of the 
 day. My mind was in such a state of anxiety as I had 
 never experienced before ; however, that appeared to be 
 the turning point — for the next day he was something 
 better, and continued to mend slowly ; and in a few days 
 he had gained so much strength as to ride about a mile 
 to a quarterly meeting — and a precious time it was to me, 
 and many others. 
 
 what an indulgent parent we have to rely upon! 
 May my heart ever feel sensations of gratitude to that 
 God who hath cleared my way through the storms of 
 affliction, and various other difficulties. 
 
 1 had not recovered my health fully at this time. The 
 people, it appeared to me, were almost tired of us in 
 
48 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 every direction. I was unable to labour for a living, and 
 Lorenzo was so feeble in botiy that he could preach but 
 little ; consequently we were entirely dependent on others 
 for a subsistence. 
 
 We continued in the neighbourhood where Lorenzo 
 had been s.ck, and that of the mill, until the first of 
 January, and then left that part for a friend's house, 
 twelve or fourteen miles olf j theii' house was small, and 
 family large, wnich made it very inconvenient to them 
 and us, alihough they were very kind and friendly. 
 
 Our situation at this time was truly distressing— we 
 scarcely knew which way to turn. Lorenzo concluded it 
 Was best to strive to prepare some place as a shelter from 
 the storms that appeared to have come to such a pitch, 
 as not to admit of rising much higher. Sickness ana 
 poverty had assailed us on every side ; and many, such 
 as had professed to be our friends, forsook us in that 
 country as well as in the States. It was circulating 
 through many parts that we were at that time rolling in. 
 riches, surrounded with plenty. The old mill-frame, 
 (for it was never finished,) had made such a noise in the 
 world, that many had been led to believe that we pos- 
 sessed a large pla7itation, with an elegant house, and 
 other necessary appurtenances, together with two or three 
 mills, and a number of slaves, beside money at interest. 
 Whilst this was carried from east to west, and from north 
 to south, and the people supposing that Lorenzo had 
 ranged the wide fields of America, and also of Europe, 
 to gather up worldly treasure, and had gone to the Mis- 
 sissippi to enjoy it, would of course make a very un/a- 
 vouraJAe impression on their minds, as it related to his 
 motives in travelling in such an irregular manner as he 
 had done. 
 
 We were, as I observed before, in quite a different 
 situation — without house or home, or any thing of conse- 
 quence that we could call our own. 
 
 There was a tract of land, lying in the midst of a thick 
 Cane-break, on which was a beautiful spring of water, 
 breaking out at the foot of a large hill, which some per- 
 son had told Lorenzo of: the soil belonged to the United 
 States, and the cane was almost impenetrable, from thirty 
 to forty feet high^ and likewise it was inhabited by wild 
 
THE WILDERNESS, 49 
 
 BEASTS of "pTcy^ of various kinds, and serpents of the 
 most poisonous nature. Notwithstanding these gloomy 
 circumstances, Lorenzo got a man to go with him to look 
 at it, to see 'd it would do for an asylum for us to fly to, 
 provided we could get a little cabin erected near the 
 spring. After he had taken a survey of the place, h« 
 concluded to make a trial, and employed a man accord- 
 ingly to put up a small log cabiu^ within tea or twelve 
 feet of the spring, which he did, after cutting down the 
 cane for to set it — a way was made through from a public 
 road to the spot, so that we could ride on horseback or go 
 on foot. We obtained a X'-iw utensils for keeping house, 
 and in Mirck we removed to our little place of residence, 
 in" the wilderness, or rather it appeared like the habitation 
 of some exiles ; — but it was a sweet place to me — I felt 
 I was at home, and many times the Lord was precious to 
 my souL 
 
 There was a man who had resided in Philadelphia^ 
 and by some means had got involved in debt, and left 
 there to reside \n this country. He had a wife and one 
 child: once he had belonged to the Methodist Society, 
 and then backslid ; but after he came to that country he 
 was brought into trying circumstances, which brought 
 him to reflect on his present situation; and meeting with 
 Lorenzo in this time, there began some intimacy beiween 
 "them on this occasion : ai'ier this he wished to return to 
 Philadelphia for a short time, and wanted some place for 
 his wife to stay at while he should be gone; consequently 
 he requested us to let her stay with us at our little cabin, 
 which was agreed to — she came, and this made up our 
 little family. She was a peaceable, friendly woman, 
 and we spent the time quite agreeably; although we were 
 left by ourselves for days together, Lorenzo being fre- 
 quently called from home to attend meetings, and to pro- 
 cure the necessaries of life ! 
 
 The people were much surprised when they came to 
 our little residence, how we came to fix on such a lonely 
 place as this to retreat to I — This is a proof, that experi- 
 ence teaches more than otherwise we could learn : we 
 had felt the Avant of a home in the time of trouble and 
 sickness. This was a pleasant retreat to us: the wilder- 
 ness appeared almost like a paradise to me I Them's wetro 
 
50 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 but two ways we could get to our neighbours, the nearest 
 of which was more than half a mile, and the way so 
 intricate, that it would be almost impossible for any one 
 to find it, or get through either place in the night. 
 
 We stayed there for near four months ; in that time 
 Lorenzo preached as much as his strength would admit. 
 We were sometim.es very closely run to get what was 
 necessary to make us comfortable ; yet I felt quite con- 
 tented. I had in a good degree regained my health, so 
 that I was able to labour, and I strove to do all that I 
 could for a living, although my situation was such, that I 
 could not do as much as I wished ; but the Lord provided 
 for us, beyond what we could have expected. We did 
 not know how long we should stay in that place; we had 
 no other alternative but to stay there, until Providence 
 should open some other way. 
 
 The man that had left his wife with us, and started 
 for the city of Philadelphia^ went as far as the tails of 
 Ohio, and got discouraged, and getting into a boat, he 
 returned to us in the cane : there we had an addition to 
 our family, this man, and his wife, and child. The chief 
 of the burthen fell to my lot, to do for them and our- 
 selves, which Lorenzo thought was too much for me to 
 go through with — and the man seemed not to give him- 
 self much concern about it, his wife being in a situation 
 that would require more attention than I should be able 
 to give, we thought it was best to make our way to the 
 States, if possible ; as we had been defeated in almost 
 every thing that we had undertaken in that country. 
 Accordingly, Lorenzo made some arrangements to pre- 
 pare to leave it. He let the man that was with us, have 
 possession of the house and spring, and what little we 
 had for family use, as it relates to house-keeping, and 
 took a horse for the intended journey- We left the 
 peaceful retreat of the spring, where I had enjoyed some 
 refreshings from the presence of the Lord ; and were 
 again cast on the world, without any thing to depend 
 upon but Providence. However, he had never forsaken 
 us : his power and willingness to save all that trust in 
 him was still the same ; and as he had promised that he 
 would be with us in six troubles, and in the seventh that 
 he would nat forsake us : so it proved in the end. W© 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 51 
 
 left the little cabin on Sunday morning, to attend an 
 appointment that Lorenzo had given out, twelve or four- 
 teen miles distance from there, on horseback, where we 
 arrived in time — he preached to an attentive congrega- 
 tion. This was about six miles from Cobun^s, where we 
 had found an asylum in days that were past. We left 
 the place where the meeting was held, and started for 
 Mr. Cobun^g, but we lost our way, by taking a foot-path 
 that we supposed was nearer, and wandered in the woods 
 until almost night, before we came to the place that we 
 were in pursuit of: but at last we got to the place, where 
 we met with sister Cobun, and with brother Valentine^ 
 who had b«en back to the state of Neio York for his 
 family, and had arrived here a few weeks previous. 
 
 We did not intend to stay in the country any longer 
 than we could make the necessary arrangements for our 
 journey through the wilderness to Georgia. Lorenzo 
 turned every way that he could, to obtain what was 
 necessary, and had got all ready to start, our clothes and 
 every thing being packed up, we concluded to attend a 
 camp-meeting about six miles from the neighbourhood of 
 the old mill-frame, and then continue on our journey: 
 but Providence seemed not to favour our intentions at 
 that time, for I was taken sick, and unable to travel; 
 consequently, Lorenzo was under the necessity of leaving 
 me behind, and going through without me — but he stayed 
 for several weeks longer, until I had in some decree 
 recovered my health. He had made some preparations 
 for me to be provided for in his absence. Brother Valen-" 
 tine had erected a small log-house on public ground, near 
 the mill-frame, and contiguous to the little tract that 
 Lorenzo still retained of perhaps five and-twenty acres. 
 This house, in conjunction with the sister Cobuns, he 
 obtained from Mr. Valentine, for us to reside in, while 
 he should take a tour through the States. 
 
 He had let another man have a part of the right that 
 he still held in the mill, if ever it should be made to do 
 any business ; consequently, this left him but one fourth, 
 ani that was in a state of uncertainty, whether it would 
 ever be of any use to him, which the sequel has since 
 proved to be the case. 
 
 About this time my poor unfortunate sister finished her 
 
5'i VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 career, aad was called to a world of spirits, to give an 
 account for the deeds done ia the body ! I felt very awful 
 when I first heard the news — but I considered that we 
 had done all iu our power to bring her back to the paths 
 of rectitude. Lorenzo had seen her three times: the 
 first, on purpose — the second, on the road — the third, she 
 came to meeting thirty miles to see me, but I was not 
 there — and strove by every argument to prevail on her to 
 come to us, and forsake the way of vice and strive to 
 seek her soul's salvation, and we would strive to do the 
 part of childrna by her. But she would not — alledging 
 that she could not bear the scoffs of her acquaintance. 
 When Lorenzo found that she was determined to stay 
 with the person that she had apostatized for, he told her 
 to read the counsel of Jeremiah to Zedekiah, on their 
 last interview, and look at the sequel, and make the 
 application, at which she wept as mey parted. This 
 %vas the last time that he ever saw her; she was taken 
 sick shortly after, and died in a strange land, without a 
 friend to drop a tear of compassion over her in her last 
 moments I The person that had been her seducer went 
 on like one distracted — his wickedness and evil conduct, 
 no doubt, stared him in the face, Vv^hen he reflected that 
 he had been the cause of one, Avho had once enjoyed the 
 Divine favour, losing that blessing, and falling into sin 
 of such an enormous nature as she had been guilty of-— 
 and I know not but he might have been the cause of her 
 sudden departure ; but I leave that until the day when 
 the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed! 
 
 She was interred in a lonely place, where, perhaps, in 
 a few years, the spot of earth cannot be found, that con- 
 tains her ashes.* 
 
 ♦ The fore^^oing unfortunate circumstances, are necessarily involv- 
 ed iu the thread of those vicissitudes, which are connected in tha 
 narrative in order to be earpZiciY— seeing the circumstances were 
 generally known, but iu niany respects greatly misrepresented, 
 thro/igh the prejudice and amtiition of some, to block up the way 
 and destroy the reputation of Lorenzo, by unfavctirable impressions 
 on the public mind. Many, through /a/se modestij a.r\d pride, are 
 willing to claim relationship with some, because they are considered 
 ID the higher circles of life ; which they would be ashamed of, if it 
 
^HE WILDERNESS, 5^ 
 
 that this may be a warning to all that may peruse 
 this short account of X\\q fall of one that might have 
 proved a blessing to society, and a comfort to h^x friends^ 
 if she had kept at the feet of her Saviour, and attended 
 to the dictates of that Spirit which teaches humility. 
 
 1 was much afflicted on the account of my poor sister- 
 she had lain near ray heart : but I was enabled to give 
 her up, knowing that she was gone to a Jtist Tribunal, 
 and her state unalterably fixed. What remained for me 
 to do, was, to strive to make my way safely through a 
 tempestuous world, to a glorious eternity, 
 
 Lorenzo had made the necessary preparations for me 
 to stay with the sister Cobuns, and for him to take his 
 departure for the States, not expecting to return in less 
 than twelve months; — this was something of a crosi to 
 me, as he was still considerably afflicted in body, and to 
 appearance, would never enjoy health again. But I 
 was supported under it, so that I felt in a great measure 
 resigned to this dispensation also. I was supplied with 
 what I needed to make me comfortable. 
 
 I had joined society when I first came to this countr}', 
 within a mile of the place I then lived. I lived in great 
 harmony with my two companions that Lorenzo had left 
 me with, while he had gone to visit the States once 
 more. I attended meeting regularly every week, and 
 bad many precious times to my soul, I had some trials 
 to encounter, but the Lord was my helper, and brought 
 me through them all. I was desirous to return to some 
 part of the States, if Providence should spare Lorenzo, 
 and he should again come back to me in safety. 
 
 He left me in October, I spent that winter and the next 
 summer, as agreeably as I had done such a length of time 
 in almost any situation that I had been placed in for 
 several years ; at the same time these people that had 
 pretended a great deal of friendship to us in former times, 
 were quite distant : however, this affected me but little, 
 
 ^aa not for their mongy— as worth is generally estimated according 
 to a man's property, agreeable to the old saying, "Money makes the 
 man :"— Whereas, what am I the worse for others vices, or bettsr 
 for iheir worth and merit, if 1 have no virtuea of my own 1 
 
54 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 as I had learned in some degree this lesson, that our 
 happiness does not depend on the smiles or frowns of tha 
 world ; but we must have peace in our own breast, or we 
 can find it no where else. 
 
 I lived quite retired from the world, with a few excep- 
 tions : I seldom went out but to meeting — there I found 
 most peace and consolation. Thus I continued to spend 
 my time, until the period that Lorenzo was to return. 
 
 I received a letter from him, to meet him about twelve 
 Miles from where I then was, where he had sent an 
 appointment to preach. — This was pleasing intelligence 
 to me, as I had then been separated from him for near 
 twelve months. 
 
 I went the day before the time appointed for him to 
 arrive at the place ; and the day that he came I was 
 again attacked with the ague and fever, which I had 
 never escaped for one summer while I was in that coun- 
 try. The ague had left me, and the fever was tolerable 
 high when it was observed by some of the family that 
 Lorenzo was come ! My heart leaped for joy at the 
 sound of his name. We met, after having been separated 
 for twelve months and six days. I felt some degree of 
 gratitude to our great Preserver, that he had brought us 
 through many dangers and difficulties, which we had met 
 with during our separation. 
 
 We intended to return to the States, as soon as we 
 could get prepared. There was a large congregation 
 attended to hear Lorenzo preach ; and it was a solemn, 
 melting time among the people ! after meeting we started 
 for the place that I had made my home in his absence. 
 Although I was quite unwell, in consequence of having 
 a fit of the ague the day before, we rode twelve miles, in 
 company with several friends that had come from the 
 neighbourhood to meet him. 
 
 It was ten o'clock before we reached our destination : 
 however, we were very much rejoiced to have the privi- 
 lege of joining our hearts and voices in prayer and praise 
 to that God who had prolonged our lives, and brought us 
 to meet again on mortal shores. The next day I had a 
 very sick day — the ague came on more severely than it 
 was the day that Lorenzo came back! He wished to 
 make ready to leave the territory, and I was anxious to 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 55 
 
 ?o with him, as I could not enjoy health in that country* 
 made use of some means to get rid of the ague, and it 
 had the desired effect, so that after a few days I got some* 
 thing better, and in about two or three weeks I was able 
 to start on our journey through the wilderness to Georgia^ 
 
 Lorenzo had intended to have stayed longer than he 
 did when he returned, and had given out a chain of 
 appointments through the country; but reflecting that 
 the winter rains might come on, and make it impossible 
 for me to get through the long and tedious wilderness 
 that we had to travel — consequently, he attended but one 
 or two of these appointments, and recalled the rest, and 
 started for Natchez^ where we got what was- necessary 
 for our journey, and from thence we made the best of our 
 way to the wilderness, although our friends expected us 
 to have returned and bid them /areice//, and I myself 
 expected to have seen them again before I left that 
 country ; but it was otherwise ordered, for I saw them 
 no more ; and 1 do not know that I ever shall, until we 
 meet in eternity. May God help us to live, that we may 
 join the blood-washed throng^ in the mansions of endless 
 day. 
 
 We reached the outskirts of the settlements of Nai- 
 diez on tlie third day after we left the city. It was some- 
 thing late in the day before we left the last house inhabited 
 by white people, and entered the vast wilderness. This 
 was a new scene to me, such as I had never met u'ith 
 before. My heart trembled at the thought of sleeping 
 out in this desert place, with no company but my hus- 
 band : however, little before sunset we came to a place 
 where we could get water and plenty of cane lor our 
 horses. There we stopped for the niglit, built a fire, and 
 cut a quantity of cane for to last our horses through the 
 night ; after that we prepared our supper, which consisted 
 of coffee and hard biscuit^ which we had brought from the 
 settlements with'us. We had no tent to screen us from the 
 inclement weather, but we had blaukets on which we slept 
 which made us tolerably comfortable when tJie weather 
 was clear. We lay down, after having prepared a quantity 
 of wood tor the nigfet ; but it was a gloomy uight to me, 
 it being the first time that I ever had been in the like 
 circumstances ; and to look up and see the wide extended 
 4 
 
561 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 concave of heaven bespangled with stars, without any 
 covering, it was truly majestic. Yet to consider we were 
 in a lonely desert, uninhabited by any creature but iDild 
 beasts and savages^ made me fee!' very much alarmed^ 
 and I slept but little, while Lorenzo was quite happy and 
 composed ; as he observed, he had never been so well 
 pleased Avith his situation in travelling through this wild 
 unfrequented part of the country before ; and this was the 
 tenth time that he had passed through it, in the space of 
 nine or ten years ! 
 
 We met with no molestation through the night, and as 
 soon as day dawned we started on and travelled until 
 late breakfast time, when we stopped, struck up a fire, 
 and prepared some refreshment, and fed our horses, an^ 
 then continued on our journey. 
 
 We travelled near forty miles that day ; it was quite 
 dark before we got to Pearl River, which we had to cross 
 in a ferry boat, and stay at a hous^e, such as it was, that 
 belonged to a Half Breefl, during the night. I was very 
 much fatigued, but rested tolerably well. 
 
 In the morning we started by ourselves soon after we 
 had got some refreshment, and travelled on through the 
 day until towards evening, when we met a company of 
 Indians, who had been preparing their cainp for the 
 night. This struck me with some considerable dread, 
 and to add to that we had to cross a dreadful slough, 
 called by travellers, " hell hole." This place consisted 
 of thin mud, so that horses after they were stripped of 
 saddle and harness, could swim through j and then it was 
 necG.-^sary that some one should be on the other side, so 
 as to prevent them from running away. But we had no 
 one with us to assist, and we could not tell what we 
 should do : yet so it happened, the Indians had made a 
 temporary Jyridge of foles and canes to get their horses 
 over, which served for us to get over upon also. 
 
 We were then under the necessity of preparing for the 
 night, as it was almost sun-set, and we were not more 
 than half a mile from the Indian's camp, which was 
 quite alarming to me ; but there was no alternative, there 
 we must stay. Accordingly, Lorenzo made a good fire, 
 and provided a plenty of ctiue for our horses, and made 
 ready our little repast ; by this time it was dark — we 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 5? 
 
 then lay devvQ to try to compose oursehes to rest ; but 
 my mind was too much -occupied by gloomy reflections 
 to sleep, while I oould hear Indians' degs barking, and 
 the horses' bells gingie, although it was a beautiful night. 
 The moon shoBe through the trees with great splendour, 
 and the stars twinkling around^, and if my mind had 
 been in a right frame, it would have been a beautiful 
 prospect to me, but I was so much afraid, that it quite 
 deprived me of any satisfaction," while L&reiizo would 
 have slept sweetly, if I had not been so fearful, and fre- 
 -guently disturbed him — I longed for day-light to appear ; 
 and as sooa as it dawned we started -and travelletl a long 
 and tedieus day, still an this dreary wilderness. We 
 expected to liave got to a man's house, living on the 
 Chwkasaha Rivei\ who liad an Indian family, before 
 night ; accordingly we came to a creek, which Lorenzo 
 took to be that river: I felt very much rejoiced, as I hoped 
 to find a house which we could have the privilege of 
 sleeping in — ^but we were disappointed in our expecta- 
 tion — for when we got over the creek we found there an 
 Indiaai viilage : we enquired how far it was to this man's 
 iiouse, they told us hy signi it was ten miles, and it was 
 now akiiost sun-set. We started on again, and went 
 perliaps half a mile," when tlie path became divided 
 into so many little divisions, that we could not tell 
 which to take. Lorenzo went back to an Indian house, 
 and requested an old Indian t© go and pilot us to Nalea 
 — the old man hesitated at first, but after understand- 
 ing that he should fee w-ell paid, he took his blanket 
 and wr-applng it about his "head, he started on before us, 
 and wje followed after — by this time it was almost sun- 
 set, bi^ we kept ©,u;: there was a moon, though it was 
 obscured by a thin cloud, so that it was not of so much 
 tise to us as it would otherwise have been. We had not 
 got more than three miles from the Indian's house before 
 it was quite dark. I was very much afraid of our pilot ; 
 I strove to lift my heart to God for protection, and felt in 
 some degree supported. — Our way lay through a large 
 swamp, intermixed with cane, which made it appear 
 very gloomy ; but our pilot was almost equal to a wolf to 
 find his way through this wild unfrequenied spot of the 
 ,earlh— he could wind about and keep tlie path where I 
 
58 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 would have thought it was almost impossible } but having' 
 travelled until ten or eleven o'clock, we arrived at the 
 river ; but how to get across, that was the next difiienlty — 
 we must cross a ferry, and the boat was on the other 
 side — Lorenzo requested the old Indian to go over and 
 fetch it, but he would not move one step wntil he promised 
 him more money : this was the second or third time he 
 had raised his wages after he started, to keep him on, 
 until we could reach the place that we wished for. How- 
 ever, after he found that he would get more money, he 
 started, and went up the river, found some way across: 
 in a short time he had the boat over, and we went into it 
 with our horses, and the old man set us over. This was 
 perhaps eleven o'clock at night — we came to the house, 
 the family was gone to bed, but the woman got up, and 
 although she was half Indian, she treated me with more 
 attention than many would have done that had been 
 educated among the more refined inhabitants of the 
 earth ! 
 
 I felt quite comfortable, and slept sweetly through the 
 remaining part of the night. In the morning we started 
 again, being then near thirty miles from the settlements 
 of Tomhigby. We passed through some delightful coun- 
 try that day, and about two or three o'clock in the after- 
 noon we reached the first house that was inhabited by • 
 white people. It made my heart rejoice to meet again 
 with those that spoke a language which I understood, 
 and above all, to find some that loved the Lord ! 
 
 Lorenzo held several meetings in this neighbourhood 
 that were profitable, I trust, to some. We stayed here 
 two nights, and a good part of three days, when we took 
 our leave of them, and departed on our journey through 
 the settlements of Bighih which extends seventy or 
 eighty miles in length, through a rich and fertile soil. 
 The settlements were Sourishing and the people in some 
 parJs hospitable. We arrived at Fort St. Stephen^ 
 situated on the Tombighy river- — it is on an eminence, 
 and makes a handsome appearance, although it is but 
 small. The river is navigable up to this place. It iis a 
 beautiful river ; the water is as clear as crystal, and the 
 land very fertile — well situated for cultivation. This 
 will be a delightful country, no doubt in time I 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 50 
 
 We got fresh supplies at this place, and mad« bul a 
 few hours stop before we started on our journey, and 
 crossed the river in a ferry-boat— this was after twelve 
 o'clock — we travelled until late, and came to a small 
 cabin, where we got permission to stay for the night, 
 which we did. In the morning we started very early — 
 saw some scattering houses, and at night we got to the 
 Alabama river, where there was a ferry, kepi by a maa 
 v/ho was a mixture, where we stayed that night. This 
 river is beautiful, almost beyond' description. On its 
 pleasant bank stood Fort Mims, that has since been 
 destroyed by the savage Creek Indiana, with those that 
 fled to it for protection. 
 
 We were now in the bounds of the Creek nation: we 
 were still without any company. — This day we struck 
 the road that had been cut out by the order of the Presi- 
 dent, from the state of Georgia, to Fort Stoddard. This 
 made it more pleasant for travelling, and then we fre- 
 quently met people removing from the States to the 
 Tombigby, and other parts of the Mississippi territory. 
 
 We travelled betwixt thirty and forty miles that day, 
 and came to a creek, called Murder creek : it got this 
 name in consequence of a man having been murdered 
 there. This circumstance made it appear very gloomy 
 to me. But we made the necessary preparations for the 
 night, and lay down to rest : although I was so much 
 afraid, I got so weary at times, that I could not help 
 sleeping. About twelve o'clock it began to rain so fast, 
 that it was like to put out our fire, and we were under 
 the necessity of getting our horses and .starting, as we 
 had nothing to screen us from the rain. The road having 
 been newly cut out, the fresh marked trees served for a 
 guide — there was a moon, but it was shut in by clouds. 
 However, we travelled on ten or twelve miles and it 
 ceased raining : I was very wet and cold, and felt the 
 need of a fire, more perhaps than I had ever done in my 
 life before ! 
 
 At last we came in sight of a camp, virhich would 
 have made my heart glad, but I feared lest it was 
 Indians ; yet to my great satisfaction, when we came to 
 it we found an old man and boy, with what little they 
 possessed, going to the country we had left behind, and 
 4* 
 
60 VICISSITUDES m 
 
 had encamped in this place, and with their blankets had 
 made a comfortable tent, and had a good fire. This was 
 refreshing to us, as we were much fatigued. We made 
 some coffee, and dried our clothes a little — by this time 
 it was day-light ; we then started on our way again. 1 
 thought my situation had been trying as almost could be, 
 but I found that there were others who were worse off 
 than myself. 
 
 We came across a family who were moving to the 
 Mississippi — they had a number of small children ; and 
 although they had something to cover them like a tent, 
 yet they suffered considerably from the rain the night 
 Defore : and to add to that, the woman told me they had 
 left an aged father at a man's house by the name of 
 Manack, one or two days before, and that she expected he 
 was dead perhaps by that time. They were as black 
 almost as the natives, and the woman seemed very much 
 disturbed at their situation. I felt pity for her— I thought 
 her burthen was really heavier than mine. We kept on, 
 and about the middle of the day we got to the house 
 Avhere the poor man had been left with his wife, son, 
 and daughter. A few hours before we got there, he had 
 closed his eyes in death — they had lain him out, and 
 expected to bury him that evening ; but they could not 
 get any thing to make a cofin of, only split stuff to make 
 a kind of a box, and so put him in the ground ! 
 
 I thought this. would have been such a distress to me, 
 had it been my case, that it made my heart ache for the 
 old lady. But I found that skejvas of that class of beings 
 that could not be affected with any thing so much as the 
 loss of property ; for she began immediately to calculate 
 the expense they had been at by this detention — and I 
 do not recollect that I saw her shed one tear on the occa- 
 sion. 
 
 We stayed but a short time and continued on our 
 journey. There we got a supply of bread, such as it 
 was ; and there we met with three men that were tra- 
 velling our road, the first company that we had found 
 since we had left the Mississippi, being now not more 
 than one-third of the way through the Creek nation, — 
 We left this place betwixt one and two o'clock. 
 
 I was very glad of some company, for we had been 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 61 
 
 very lonely before. We travelled on without any thing 
 particular occurring for three days, until we arrived at the 
 Chattahochy river, where we met with some difficulty in 
 getting over, as the boat was gone. This was early in 
 the morning, before sun-rise, that we came to the river ; 
 and there we were detained until ten o'clock, and then 
 had to hire an Indian to take a canoe, and first carry our 
 baggage over, end then swim our horses over. This 
 hindered us until near eleven o'clock before we got ready 
 to start again. We were in hopes of getting to Haw- 
 kings^ the agents, that night — but being so long detained 
 at the river, we were obliged to stay at an Indian^s camp, 
 our company having stopped before. 
 
 I had got a fall from my horse and hurt myself con- 
 siderably ; and I was as much fatigued and worn out by 
 travelling as ever I was in my life. I thought sometimes 
 that I never should stand it, to get through the wildner- 
 ness, but Providence gave me strength of body beyond 
 what I could have expected. We left the Indian's camp 
 in the morning, and reached Col. Hawkings' that night. 
 
 This was within about thirty miles of the settlements 
 of Georgia. I felt grateful to the God of all grace, for 
 his tender care over us, while in this dreary part of the 
 land — where our ears had been saluted by the hideous 
 yells of the i*?o^— and had been surrounded by the sav- 
 ages, more wild and fierce than they ; and yet we were 
 preserved from all danger, and brought through in safety. 
 
 We got to the river that divides the state of Georgia 
 from the Indian boundaries, about three' or four o'clock, 
 and got into the white settlements, which was very satis- 
 factory to me. We got to a friend's house that night 
 about dark, where we were received kindly ! This was 
 like a cordial to my heart, as it had been a long time 
 since I had met with a friend. 
 
 We stayed that night with them, and the next day we 
 got to a friend's house within twelve or fourteen miles 
 from Milledgeville, the metropolis of Georgia, There 
 Lorenzo had left a small wagon, six weeks or two months 
 before — here he exchanged the two horses we had for 
 one that would work in a carriage, and went on to Mil- 
 ledgeville, where we stayed about a week — and found 
 many kind friends. This was sometime in December. 
 
8a VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 While we were here the earthquakes began, which 
 alarmed the people very much. It was truly an awful 
 scene, to feel the house shaking under you as sensibly as 
 you could feel the motion of a vessel, when it was mov- 
 ing over the water ; and the trees as it were dancing on 
 the hills — all nature seemed in commotion. This was 
 enough to make the stoutest heart to tremble ! But when 
 the people get so hardened, that mercies nor judgments 
 cannot move them, we may conclude they are in a bad 
 way ! This is the case with too many. O that the day 
 would arrive, when the inhabitants of the earth would 
 love and serve the Lord ! 
 
 We left Milledgeville^ and went to a friend's house, 
 where I staye*. three or four weeks, while Lorenzo 
 travelled the npper countries, and through the New 
 Purchase — and offered free salvation to crowded congre- 
 gations. He then returned to where I was, and we started 
 on our journey to Virginia.. Lorenzo preached at seve- 
 ral places before we got to Louisville, and had a chain 
 of appointments given out, which extended to North 
 Carolina. We came to Louisville, intending to stay only 
 for a few days ; but there came on such a rain, that it 
 raised the water courses to such a degree, that it was 
 impossible for us to travel for near two weeks — this 
 brought him behind his appointments : but it gave him 
 an opportunity of preaching to the people in Louisville a 
 number of times. 
 
 As soon as we could get along we started, and with 
 some difficulty we overtook the appointments — but not 
 without disappointing three or four congregations. We 
 travelled on from Georgia, to Carolina in the cold incle- 
 ment weather, such as we have in January and February ; 
 and Lorenzo preached once and twice in the day — the 
 people seemed quite attentive all the way that we came. 
 
 I was very anxious to get to Lynchburg, as we had 
 some thoughts of striving to get a small house built there, 
 that we might have a place of retreat in case of neces- 
 sity — Lorenzo still expecting to travel and preach as long 
 as his strength would admit. But we intended to go on 
 to Connecticut, to his father's, where I expected to have 
 stayed for some time, and then return to Lynchbicrg ; hut 
 the Providence of God seemed not to favour the design. 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 63 
 
 We arrived in Lynchburg about the seventeenth of 
 March, where we calculated to stay but a few days, and 
 then go on to his father's— after making some prepara- 
 tions for building our little house. However, we had not 
 been in Lynchburg but about one week, before I was 
 taken very ill, and confined to my bed, attended by two 
 doctors, Jennings and Owen, who said my affliction was 
 an inflammation of the liver — which confined me for 
 three months to my bed, and was expected to die. How- 
 ever, after having gone through a course of physic, I got 
 so as to be able to sit up and ride a little ; but was very 
 feeble. Mv sickness had detained Lorenzo from going 
 to the Nortn, as he had intended, — and after counting the 
 expense of building, he found that it would not be in his 
 power to accomplisli his design in building a house, with- 
 out involving himself in debt, which he was not willing 
 to do ; accordingly he gave it up, and concluded still to 
 continue as we had been without house or home, and 
 leave the event in the hand of Providence; knowing 
 that we had been provided for all our lives, from a never- 
 failing source — and we felt willing in some degree to 
 trust HIM still ! 
 
 We were still at Lynchburg ; and had been there for 
 more than three months — and the friends were very kind 
 to me in my sickness. 
 
 Lorenzo wished to take me to his father's ; but my 
 health was in such a state that it was impossible for me 
 to travel. 
 
 There was a man who lived in Buckingham county, 
 about five-and-twenty miles from Lynchburg — we had 
 but a small acquaintance with him: he, coming to Lynch- 
 burg, saw Lorenzo, and invited him to come and stay at 
 his house a while. He told him he had no objections, 
 but was thankful to him for his kindness, though he saw 
 no way of conveyance. Mr. John M. Walker, for that 
 was his name, told him he would send his carriage for 
 me the next week, which he did, and we went to his 
 house. This was a kind family. I had not been there 
 but a little more than a week, before I was again con- 
 fined to ray bed — and it was expected that I must die. 
 They gave every attention to me they could have done 
 had I been their own child— m?iy the great Master rewfird 
 
U VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 them in this world with every needed blessing, and in 
 the werld to come, a crown of never-fading glory. 
 
 My Lorenzo attended me day and night almost from 
 this lime, until near Christmas. By this I had got a little 
 better, so as to be taken and wrapped in blankets and put 
 into a close carriage, and carried about half a mile to 
 another dear friend's house. Major William Duval^ 
 where I was treated as if I had been a near relation — 
 and provided with every thing necessary to make me 
 comfortable ; and they wished me to stay with them all 
 the winter. This was matter of thankfulness to us. 
 
 I had got so as to walk about my room a little — and 
 Lorenzo wishing to take a tour to the North, he made 
 the necessary arrangements, and about the twenty -fifth 
 of December he left me and started to Richmond^ on his 
 way to the city of Washington^ where he stayed for some 
 time, and then on to New York s and so on to his father's 
 in Connecticut. 
 
 He expected to return in March, but did not until May. 
 I staid at brother DuvaPs, partaking of their hospitality, 
 until sometime in March, when brother Walke-r's family 
 seemed solicitous that I should go to their house again, 
 and sister Walker coming in her carriage herself, she 
 being very delicate too — I concluded to go. The old 
 gentleman not being at home at the time, or I expect he 
 would not have consented for me to have left his house, 
 until Lorenzo returned. 
 
 I feel under great obligations to that dear family that I 
 cannot express. His wife was a lovely woman. May 
 the Lord reward them — for it is not in my power ! 
 
 I went home with sister Walker. I was at this time 
 much better, but in a few days after I had got to brother 
 Walker's I was again attacked with my old complaint, a 
 pain in my side very severe. I applied to the remedies 
 that had been made use of, and that was bleeding and 
 blistering, but to little purpose apparently. . ^ 
 
 I felt very much discouraged ; as I thought it more 
 than probable that my time would be but short in this 
 world of woe — and I wished much to see my companion 
 once more in time, but strove to be resigned to the will of 
 the Lord. 
 
 My cry was — Lord, help me to be willing to suffer all 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 65 
 
 thy goodness sees best to inflict. My pain was at times 
 very severe, and then I would get a little relief. I was 
 taken about the twenty-seventh of March, but three or 
 four days later than it was the Spring before, when I was 
 first attacked. 
 
 I had received letters from Lorenzo which informed 
 me that he could not get back before May. My strength 
 was continually declining ; and to appearance, I would 
 shortly be an inhabitant of the other world. My mind 
 was variously exercised — it was sometimes cast down, 
 and at other times much comforted. This long and 
 tedious sickness taught me a great lesson, as it related to 
 the uncertainty of earthly enjoyments, than any thing I 
 had met with before. My desire for temporalities were 
 gone— at least any more than was strictly necessary to 
 make me comfortable — and the Lord that cared for us 
 had provided me with the kindest friends, where I was 
 treated with the greatest attention. 
 
 Lorenzo returned in May, as he had wrote me he 
 should. I was at that time unable to get out of my bed 
 without assistance. I had wrote to him to New York^ 
 before I got so bad, that I was threatened with another 
 attack. He had made all the speed that he could, and 
 the day that he got to the place where I was, he had tra- 
 velled near seventy miles. 
 
 I was much rejoiced to see him once more, the God of 
 all Grace had granted my request, and returned him in 
 safely to liie again. He staid with me for several weeks, 
 and every means was made use of to restore me to health 
 that could be^ — but they all seemed to prove abortive. 
 Dr. Jennings saw me several times after ray last attack, 
 and advised the use of mercury^ as the only remedy that 
 could be of any service to me. I followed his advice, 
 and was reduced very low, from the disorder and medi- 
 cine together — so that it was thought by all who saw me, 
 that I must die. 
 
 I strove to sink into the Avill of God ; knowing what- 
 soever was best for me would be given — yet I could not 
 divest myself of a desire to get well, and live a little 
 longer : not to enjoy w^hat is commonly called the plea- 
 sures of the world, for my prospects were but small at 
 that time—but to live more to the glory of God, and be 
 
66 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 better prepared to join the blood-washed company above, 
 when I should be called for. 
 
 Lorenzo had at this time gone to the low lands, to ful- 
 fil some appointments which had been given out by some 
 oif the preachers, which took him about three weeks. I 
 was very ill while he was gone — about the time that he 
 returned I began to mend a little, so that I could set up 
 in the bed. The Doctor had advised Lorenzo to carry 
 me to the White Sulphur Springs, as it was the most 
 likely means to restore my health. After a few weeks, I 
 had got so as to be taken and put into a chair and carried 
 as far as Lynchburg, to Doctor Jennings. We had then 
 a chair and horse of our own — but our horse's back had 
 ^ot injured, so that we were under the necessity of stay- 
 mg in Lynchburg until he should get Avell, so that we 
 could get on to the Springs. 
 
 We were detained for some time before our horse got 
 so as we could use him. I still was very feeble in body — 
 I could not walk one hundred yards withoirt assistance. 
 Our horse had been quite high for near three weeks, and 
 his back had got tolerably well ; so that we were about 
 to make a start, and try to get on to the Springii — 
 but although our horse had brought Lorenzo all the way 
 from New-England, and down to the Low Lands of Vir- 
 ginia and the Carolinas, and back again to Bucking- 
 ham, and from there to Lynchburg in the chair, and 
 appeared very gentle ; yet when he put him in the chair 
 to prepare to start for the Springs, he began to act like as 
 if he was frightened, and we were apprehensive he could 
 not be managed by him, considering my weak and help- 
 less state ; and the road through which we must travel 
 was very rough and mountainous, consequently he sold 
 him on the spot, and hired a hack from a Q,uaker living 
 in that place : he paid four dollars a day for the use of it 
 for ten days, besides bearing all the expenses. We left 
 Lynchburg in the morning, and went the first day to 
 New London, about fifteen miles, and I stood the travel 
 much better than I expected I could. There Lorenzo 
 preached to the people, as he had some appointments 
 sent on before him; and we stayed all night. The next 
 day we went to Liberty, where we had another appoint- 
 ment — and from there we went to a friend's house, where 
 
THE WILDERNESS. G7 
 
 we were treated kindly — and they called in some of their 
 neighbours, and we had a comfortable little meeting. 
 
 The next day to Fincastle, where we stayed all night, 
 and Lorenzo preached twice. We were now within a 
 few miles of the mountains, which was in some places 
 so craggy and- steep, that it was with difficulty we could 
 ascend them ; and then we would come into a valley, 
 where the soil would appear as charming and beautiful 
 as the mountains were rugged and barren. We travelled 
 on, and met with nothing particular until we arrived at 
 the Springs whither we were bound. 
 
 The Springs are situated in Greenbriar county, about 
 three miles the other side of. the Allegany mountain, and 
 from Lynchburg upward of one hundred miles. It is a 
 pleasant place where the man lives who has rented the 
 Springs, and has built a number of cabins, perhaps fifty 
 or sixty ; ai^d they were placed in a regular form, and the 
 yard inclosed, and a beautiful grass plot, with handsome 
 shade trees, for the accommodation of those that attend 
 the Springs. They have a large house that stands near 
 the centre, where the boarders dine, &c. 
 
 We went there, but the person that had hired the 
 Springs would not take us in the pretended they were so 
 full that they could not. But they took more after we 
 went there than they had before. But we got in at a 
 house perhaps a mile from the Spring. I was better 
 satisfied with this situation than I would have been at 
 the place — for I could have the Avater brought twice in 
 the day ; and there I was in a more retired place. I 
 stayed there near three weeks. Lorenzo was there part 
 of the time, arid part of the time he was travelling through 
 the neighbourhoods and preaching to the peopk. He 
 held several meetings at the springs, by the request of 
 those that were attending there. There were persons 
 from various parts, some for pleasure, and others for the 
 restoration of health : — they were people that moved in 
 the higher circles, and were very gay — but they were 
 quite attentive when he spake to them of heavenly things, 
 except one, who was a most abandoned character — -he 
 thought to frighten him by threatening his life, and abus- 
 ing him in a scandalous manner : but the enemy was 
 defeated in this — for the gentleman that kept the Springs, 
 5 
 
68 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 and others, soon stopped his mouth, so that he had peace 
 ever after* 
 
 There were none just about this place that knew much 
 about religion, but they appeared anxious to hear the 
 glorious sound of the gospel. I began to get my strength 
 in some measure, so that I could walk about considerably 
 well. There was to be a Camp-Meeting held near 
 Salem^ in Botetourt county, which was a distance of 
 seventy or eighty miles : and we were in the mountains, 
 without horse or carriage, and how we should get out we 
 could not tell. But Providence, that had so often opened 
 our way where we could see none, made a way at this 
 time : there was a friend that was a Methodist who lived 
 at the Sweet Springs, a distance, perhaps, of eighteen 
 miles, from the white sulphur, who had requested Lorenzo 
 to come over there and preach : he told him he would, 
 provided he could send a couple of horses for us to ride. 
 I had, by this time got so wellj that we thought I might 
 be able to ride that distance on horseback. 
 
 Accordingly the man sent the horses ; and we started 
 and arrived at his house some time in the afternoon. 
 We stayed at the Sweet Spriiigs, three or four days, and 
 Lorenzo preached several times : we then, by the assist- 
 ance of friends, were enabled to get on to Fincastle, that 
 was within twenty miles. We came with the preachers 
 that were going to Camp-meeting. 
 
 Here we got a chair from a friend to convey us part of 
 the way from this to the place where the meeting was to 
 be held, to another friend's, who let us l^ave his horse and 
 gig to carry us the remaining part of the way. When we 
 got to the camp-ground it was nearly dark ; but there we 
 met with some of our old acquaintance, which made 
 my heart to rejoice. The preachers were very friendly. 
 There I met with my dear friend, sister Dumiington, 
 who perhaps enjoys as great communion with God, as 
 any person I ever saw. She was very kind to me, — and 
 I felt it was good to meet with those that truly love and 
 serve the Lord. We stayed at the Camp-Meeting until 
 the day before it broke up. It was a tolerable good time — 
 there was a number of souls converted to God : may they 
 continue to walk in the narrow happy road, until they 
 reach the peaceful shores of Canaan I 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 69 
 
 We left the camp ground in company with a preacher 
 and his family for Blaeksburg, near the Yellow Springs, 
 so called, where I was advised to go, and try the water. 
 This was near thirty miles from Salem — here we stayed 
 for two or three weeks, and I made use of the waters, 
 which was, I think, beneficial to me. 
 
 We got acquainted with a gentleman from the Low 
 Lands of Virginia, who was at the Springs with his 
 wife on the account of her health. These people were 
 possessed of a large property, and but one child — and 
 they also possessed as great a share of hospitality as any 
 that I ever met with. They understanding our situation, 
 gave me an invitation to go home and spend the winter 
 with them — which I thankfully accepted, while Lorenzo 
 took quite a different course to the Western country, 
 intending to visit the Louisiana, before his return : but 
 the Indian War breaking out, flung some obstacles in the 
 way, which were unavoidable: hence, he sent on a deed 
 of relinquishment to those that had the possession of the 
 old mill, which had made such a noise in the world — we 
 had heard that they had got it, or rather built a new one, 
 to do some business, but Lorenzo had never reaped any 
 benefit from any thing that ever he claimed in that coun- 
 try, and I do not expect he ever will. 
 
 Here ends the history of his reported vast possessions 
 in the Mississippi. 
 
 We parted at the Springs. I was to go home with 
 brother Booth, the friend from Virgirda, while he pur- 
 sued his journey to the West. Brother Dunmngton, 
 who lived at Salew, hapyjened to be at the Springs at 
 this time — he took me in his chair, and carried me to his 
 house, and brother Booth came down the next day. His 
 wife was very unwell, which detained us in the moun- 
 tains for six or seven weeks. 
 
 I stayed with sister Dunnington, until sister Booth 
 was able to travel ; we then started for Brunswick, their 
 place of residence, where I was treated with the greatest 
 Kindness. 
 
 Lorenzo went on to the Western States, and from 
 thence to Carolina, and so on to Virginia, to where I 
 was ; after an absence of near four months. 
 
 He in this tour visited about forty counties, and tra^ 
 
70 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 veiled near two thousand miles. He stayed with me 
 about ten daj^s, and then started on another route through 
 North and South Carolina to Charleston, and visited 
 many places, preaching from one to four times in a day, 
 until he returned, which was about seven weeks. He 
 got back to me on Friday night j he preached on Sunday, 
 and on Monday morning we prepared to start for Peters- 
 burg. 
 
 March 8th, 1814, we bid adieu to my kind friends in 
 Brunswick^ where I had found an asylum from the cold 
 winter for near five months, whilst my Lorenzo was 
 ranging through the Western and Southern States, to 
 «all sinners to repentance. The morning that we parted 
 with that dear family will be a memorable one to me; it 
 was like parting with my nearest friends. May the Lord 
 bless them with all such spiritual and temporal mercies, 
 as shall prepare them for a seat at the right hand of the 
 Majesty on high. 
 
 Brother Booth had furnished us with two horses, a 
 gig, and servant, to go with us to Petersburg — and there 
 we were to take his carriage and continue on to Balti- 
 more. But when we got to Petersburg, the carriage 
 which was designed we should take from there, was 
 taken to pieces for repairing, so that we could not obtain 
 it for our journey, and hence were under the necessity of 
 taking the public stage for Richmond, which was some- 
 thing disagreeable to me : but I strove to put my trust 
 in that hand which had dealt out so liberally to me in 
 days that were pasf by. 
 
 The roads were very bad, being so much cut up by the 
 large heavy wagons that were on the road, laden with 
 cotton and other produce for market. 
 
 We arrived in Richmond between two and three 
 o'clock, and were received with kindness by brother 
 West and his companion. There we met several prea- 
 chers, who treated us with friendship, which was very 
 pleasant to me. O how sweet it is to meet with those 
 xhat love and serve the great Master in sincerity and in 
 truth! And if it is so pleasant here, what will it be 
 when we shall meet in that sweet world of Rest, where 
 we shall see eye to eye, and be no more subject to errone- 
 ous conclusions, as it relates to our brethren! that I 
 
THE WILDERNESS. T! 
 
 may be enabled to fight my passage through, .and meet 
 with the dear friends of Jesus on the happy banks of 
 everlasting deliverance ! 
 
 We stayed in Richmond from Wednesday until Mon- 
 day morning, Lorenzo hired a hack at the rate of five 
 dollars per day to bring us on to Fredericksburg, which 
 cost us near 40 dollars — but we came on in safety. I 
 felt my heart often drawn out in prayer to God for pro- 
 tection while we were on the road, that He would attend 
 us on our journey. We were received with kindness also 
 at this place by our our old friend, brother Green, and his 
 family — where we stayed for some dayp, 
 
 Lorenzo held several meetings, and then took a seat in 
 the public stage for Alexandria, where we arrived on 
 Sunday, between two and three o'clock. We stopped at 
 a public house, where the people that travel in the stage 
 are accommodated, but did not stay longer than to deposit 
 our baggage, and then to go in search of some friends 
 where we had put up, when we were in that place some 
 years before, by the name of Stone. We walked down 
 the street for some distance, and as it happened, a gentle- 
 man and lady were standing at the door where Lorenzo 
 had formed some acquaintance the preceding winter, and 
 invited us to come in, which we did — and found a plea- 
 sant asylum, where we could rest from our fatigue of 
 travelling in the stage. O how sweet it is to meet with 
 kind friends after having been confined with those thai 
 neither feared God nor regard man ! 
 
 We stayed at Mr. VVarter^s two nights, and then by 
 the request of a family of Q^uakers, by the name of 
 Scholfield, we spent one' night with them. It was a very 
 pleasant time to me — they were remarkably kind and 
 friendly ; and the gentleman in the morning took me in 
 his chair and carried me to the city of Washingtmij 
 which was about six miles from Alexandria, to another 
 friend's, where my Lorenzo had found a kind reception a 
 little more than twelve months before, and who had 
 requested that he would bring me, if ever he should tra- 
 vel that way again. 
 
 Lorenzo had stayed behind to find some conveyance 
 for our trunk and other baggage : in a short time he found 
 a return hack, which he engaged, and arrived in a short 
 
72 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 time after me, and was received with aflfection by the 
 family. They were by name Friends, and they were so 
 fey nature. 
 
 We stayed with them three nights, and received many 
 marks of friendship from them — ^for which may the great 
 Master reward them in the day when he cometh to make 
 up his jewels ! They had been married for seventeen 
 years, and had no children, except one little adopted 
 daughter, of the lady's brother, which they had taken as 
 their own. They doted on her: she was taken sick the 
 day after I went there ; and the second day at night they 
 thought she was dying, and the poor little woman was in 
 great anguish of soul on the account. I did not expect 
 the child would live until morning. We had engaged 
 our passage in the stage for that morning at five' o'clock, 
 and were up at three. Thy family had slept very little 
 for two nights, but when we arose in the morning, which 
 was at an early hour, to prepare for our journey, the dear 
 little child was still living, but looked like she had almost 
 finished her course, and would shortly be conveyed to 
 the realms of peace. Brother Friend went with us to 
 the stage-house, where we parted. We came on to Bal- 
 timore, where we stayed two nights with brother Hager^ 
 ty ; and Lorenzo preached twice in the town. We then 
 took the steam-boat for Philadelphia, where we arrived 
 in about twenty-six or eight hours, where we tarried 
 from Tuesday until Friday — there Lorenzo preached two 
 evenings in the African church. We then left Phila- 
 delphia, and continued on in the steam-boat to Trenton^ 
 where we took the stage for New York. We staid at 
 Princeton one night, and the next evening we arrived 
 at the city of Neio York, and came to brother Morris 
 D^ Camps, from whose house I started when going to the 
 Mississippi — he then lived in Troy — after an absence of 
 about five years and six months from the time we started, 
 and from whom we have received many favours. May 
 that God, who is able and willing to reward those that 
 will be kind, for their benevolence bless him and all my 
 dear friends, for their kindness to me — and in particular 
 for the last nine years of my life. 
 
SUPPLEMENTARY REFLECTIONS 
 
 TO THE 
 
 JOURNEY OF LIFE. 
 
 I LEFT Lynchburg on ihe 19th of July, and came W 
 brother Walker's in Buckingham, where I was taken 
 worse ; and stayed there three months— and then I went 
 to brother Duval's, where 1 stayed about five months, and 
 then returned to brother Walker's again, where I con- 
 tinued near two months more — making ten months in 
 all. May the Lord give them the reward that is promised 
 to those that give a cup of cold water to a disciple, in the 
 nam^ of a disciple, for their kindness to unworthy me in 
 this day of adversity. 
 
 January 25th. I this morning have been much relieved 
 from melancholy reflections that employed ray mind 
 through the last night, as it relates to Lorenzo; as I had 
 not heard from him for several weeks, which gave me 
 much uneasiness, and made me leelmy situation, which 
 is something lonely : but what most distressed me was, 
 my heart being so prone to distrust the protection of Pro- 
 vidence over us, which I had so much reason to rely 
 upon — for his tender care hath been over me from my 
 earliest days until novv^, and hath brought me through 
 dangers seen and unseen. 
 
 " Through various deaths my soul hath led ; 
 
 And turn'd aside the fatal hour, 
 And lifted up my sinking head." 
 
 O that I may ever feel resigned to the will of God ! 
 The day will shortly arrive when we must bid adieu to 
 all sublunary things. May the Lord help me to tear my 
 heart from earth away for Jesus to receive. I long to be 
 
74 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 dead to all below the sun, and have my affections placed 
 on things above, where sorrow will be turned into joy, 
 where we shall view our Saviour, who hath borne all our 
 sins in his own body on the tree, without a dimning veil 
 between I Lord, enable me to say — 
 
 ^'Forever here my re»t shall be, 
 
 Clsse to thy bleeding side ; 
 This all my hope and all ray plea, 
 
 For me the Saviour died. 
 
 My dying Saviour and my God, 
 
 Fountain for guilt and sin, 
 Sprinkle me ever with thy blood, 
 
 And cleanse, and keep me clean." 
 
 January 26th. My heart longs to be filled with love 
 and gratitude to God, for his mercy to me : and that 
 ihrough his grace strengthening me, I hope to overcome 
 all the evils that may befal me, Avhether outward or 
 inward. O that I may consider that days are uncertain 
 here below — and know not the hour when the Son of 
 Man may call for me, wkether it will be at midnight, or 
 at the cock's crowing — so it stands me in hand to watch 
 and pray, that I may not be surprised when He shall 
 come, but be ready to enter in with the Bridegroom to 
 the marriage supper of the Lamb ! How sweet rest will 
 be, after the toilsome ^'journey qflife^^ is over. We shall 
 then be received to those joys that have been jpurchased 
 at so dear a rate ; it cost no less than the precious blood 
 of the Son of God ! O what a ransom ! That it should 
 be neglected by those who ought to henejit by it — what a 
 pity ! O that they may take timely warning, and flee to 
 the out-stretched arms of the Saviour, and hide them, 
 while the storms of life be past, that they may be guided 
 safe into the haven of eternal rest. 
 
 February 7th, 1813, Sunday. I feel this morning my 
 spirits are very much depressed — I fear that trouble awaits 
 me. O that I may be prepared for whatever may be the 
 will of God concerning me, whether prosperity or adver- 
 sity. May I ever lay passive at HIS feet, and feel a dis- 
 
THE WILDERNESS, 75 
 
 position to say— Not my will, but thine be done. I am 
 assured that this is a state of trial, wherein we musi 
 stand to our arms, or we shall suffer loss — for we are sur- 
 rounded with enemies on every side, within and without, 
 that are watching to do us misehief. O that I may be 
 on my guard, and watch unto prayer, that the Lord may 
 be my fore front and rear ward ! and although trpubles 
 should assail me and dangers affright, I may be enabled 
 to fly to the arms of Jesus, and find shelter and consola- 
 tion there! For he hath said, that he will carry the 
 lambs in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with 
 young — O that I may be one of those that can claim this 
 promise and protection from him. 1 am left as one alone 
 in the earth— but if I can only put my trust in him, I 
 need not fear. — Although dangers stand thick through all 
 the ground, yet if the Lord is my shield, I shall not fear' 
 what man can do unto me. But I too often sink into a 
 state of despondency, as my situation seems to be very 
 gloomy at present : — not that I am in want of any thing 
 to make me comfortable, as it relates to living — for I an^ 
 placed in a kind family, for which I desire to be thank- 
 lul — but my concern for my companion, who hath been, 
 gone for near two months,, and 1 have not heard from 
 him but once — which fills my heart with fear, lest some- 
 thing hath befallen him. O that God may preserve him 
 from those that would do him harm — and may I be ena- 
 bled to give him up into the hands of God ; knowing, 
 that he will do all things well: and if we meet no more 
 on earth, may we meet in glory, where w6 shall be 
 reunited never to part again — and receive the crown of 
 glory that is laid up for those that are faithful to the 
 Lord, who bought their pardon on the tree ! 
 
 February 9th. I ara still alive, and enjoy a tolerable 
 degree of health — for which I desire to be thankful : for 
 it is more than I once expected, from the state of my 
 health. 
 
 I expected that I should have been an inhabitant oj 
 eternity before this — but the Lord hath preserved me for 
 a longer space ! O that I may improve the precious mo- 
 ments as they pass, to the glory of God, and for the good 
 of my immortal soul— that when time shall be no more 
 with me, I may be received into glory, where sorrow will 
 
76 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 be turned into joy : where I may join the blood-washed 
 throng in singing hallelujahs to God and the Lamb for 
 «ver ! 
 
 ** And then my happy soul shall tell, 
 My Jesus hath done all things well." 
 
 February 15th. I am still alive, and on praying 
 ground — O that I may improve the precious moments 
 as they pass, to the glory of God and the g-ood of my 
 •own souL My heart is too little engaged with God ! O 
 that I may never rest until I am filled with love to God 
 and all mankind. May the Lord prepare me for what- 
 ever awaits me through this unfriendly world — for I 
 expect that troubles will he my lot, while here, more or 
 less, until I pass over Jordan /-—God grant that they may 
 «end then; asd for them may I receive a orown of glory, 
 though unworthy. May God help me to watch and pray 
 without .ceasing, that I may be in a stale of readiness 
 for whatever may be/at me ! 
 
 " How happy every child o( grace, 
 
 Who knows his sins forgiven, 
 "This earth, he cries, is not my place, 
 
 I seek my place in heavbn, 
 
 A country far from mortal sight, 
 
 Yet, O hy faith, I see— 
 The land of rest, the saint's delight ; 
 
 The heaven prepar'd for wc." 
 
 March 12, 1813. I have reason to bless and praise 
 Crod, that it is as well with me as it is — that I have some 
 desire still to devote my life and all that I have to the 
 service of that God who'hath preserved and brought me 
 to the present moment., O that every power of my soul 
 and body may be, without reserve, devoted to him. He 
 hath been my Preserver and kind Benefactor from my 
 earliest days until the present time ! O that my heart 
 may be filled with love and gratitude to Him, for every 
 fittercy that I do enjoy. It hath been better than three 
 
tHE WILDERNESS. 7T 
 
 manths since I parted with the friend that I esteem most 
 dear ; and I long much to see him — but I must be p.atient, 
 and strive to give ray all to the Lord, and say, Not my 
 will, but thine be done. 
 
 March 14th. This day has been a day of a good 
 degree of peace and joj/ to m>^ souL As I have been so 
 long deprived of meeting with my brethren to praise 
 God ! O that I may give my soul and body as a living 
 sacrifice to him day by day — and be prepared to meet my 
 Saviour in the skies, with joy and gladness. 
 
 " Through grace, I am determin'd 
 To conquer, though I die !" 
 
 March 21st. I have reason to praise God for his tender 
 mercy to me ; that he hath given me a degree of health 
 and strength — and feel a desire to spend the remainder 
 of my days in his service and to. his glory. May the 
 Lord bless me with an hungering and thirsting for all 
 the mind that was in Christ, that I may be a comfort to 
 my companion, and a blessing to society, and be prepared 
 for heaven and glory. 
 
 "Come Lord from above, these mountains remove, 
 O'erturn all that hinders the course of thy love." 
 
 1 long to be altogther thine.- The day is fast approach- 
 ing when it would be of more importance to have an 
 interest at a throne of grace, than to be possessed of all 
 the riches in this lower world ! May God help me to 
 realize the world of time and the length of eternity — and 
 improve my privileges accordingly ! 
 
 March 21st. I feel to be in some degree thankful to 
 God for the blessings that I do enjoy. May I improve 
 them to the glory of my great Benefactor — and may the 
 Lord reward my kind friends for their friendship to me. 
 
 " O that my God would count me meet, 
 To wash his dear disciples' feet." 
 
 I feel my heart prone to wander from the God that ( 
 
78 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 desire to love ! O that the day may arrive whea I shall 
 love my God supremely — above every thing else. 
 
 April the 15th, 1813. I am this day out of eternity, 
 Ijut am not well — and know not how long I may be an 
 inhabitant of this world ! That I may be in a state of 
 readiness for death, when it shall come — ^for whether it 
 be long or short, it will be the same king of terrors when 
 it comes, if we are not prepared for it. My heart and 
 soul, long {or full redemption, in the blood of Jesiis, 
 
 " O that my tender soul might fly 
 
 The least abhorr'd approach of ill : 
 Cluick as the apple of an eye, 
 
 The slightest touch of sin to feel." 
 
 I hope* the Lord may give me grace to be faithful j that 
 whether my days are many or few, they may all be 
 devoted to him, that when I am called to go I may have 
 a convoy of angels to escort my happy soul to realms of 
 glory. My conflicts are many here, but the hand of the 
 Lord is strong. O that I may be enr.bled to put my 
 trust in him in every trying hour. 
 
 April 21st. I am this day a spared monument of 
 mercy — that I am not cut off as a cumberer of the 
 ground — O that my heart may be jfilled with real grati- 
 tude for the blessings I do enjoy— for kind friends in the 
 day of adversity. 
 
 I feel that I need daily supplies from the fountain that 
 was opened in the house of king David for sin and"- 
 uncleanness. For the enemy thrusts sore at me — and I 
 often fear I shall come short at last. I want the whole 
 armour, and skill to use the \v eapons, that I may be more 
 than conqueroif through the strength of Jesus — that when 
 my sun is setting, I may have a prospect of Canaan's 
 happy land, and view by faith the celestial fruits of para- 
 dise, where joys immortal grow — pain shall be exchanged 
 then for pleasure that never shall cease — where we may 
 gaze on the face of our beloved without a dimning veil 
 of mortality between. 
 
 April 23d. I have reason to be thankful to God my 
 great Preserver, for the peace that I do feel in my soul 
 
THE WILDERNESS. tO 
 
 this morning. Although my body is afflicted, yet I feel 
 a degree of resignation to the will of God — and hope 
 that I may be prepared for whatever is the will of God 
 concerning me — whether life or death. 
 
 •* Through grace I am dctermin'd 
 
 To conquer though I die, 
 And then away to Jesus 
 
 On wings of love I'll fly : 
 And then my happy station 
 
 In life's fair tree shall hove 
 Close by the throne of Jesus, 
 
 Shut up with God above." 
 
 O that I may consider that my days are as a shadow 
 that passeth away, God grant that I may secure a Jet 
 among the blest. 
 
 *' My suffering time will soon be o'er, 
 Then shall I sigh and weep no more; 
 My ransom'd soul shall soar away, 
 To sing God's praise in endless day." 
 
 The road I have to travel is interspersed with^'oy* and 
 sorrows — and the only way to be happy is to receive the 
 one with gratitude and the other with submission, O 
 that I may have that true resignation to the will of 
 heaven^ that may enable me to rejoice evermore, and 
 pray without ceasing, and in every thing to' give thanks- 
 thank the Lord for the blessings that I do enjoy, and be 
 patient under sufferings, knowing that it is good for me 
 to be afflicted, that I may know my own weakness the 
 belter, and rely only on the strength of him that is able 
 to save all those that put their trust in his clemency and 
 mercy ! May the Lord help me to live to his glory while 
 on earth I stay. 
 
 May 9th, 1813. 1 have reason to bless God that it is 
 as well with me as it is ! Whether I shall ever enjoy 
 health or not I do not know — and I would not be anxious 
 concerning it : but may I be prepared for whatever is the 
 
 6 
 
80 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 will of the Lord concerning me, whether life or death, 
 health or sickness, prosperity or adversity. I feel a desire 
 to see my Lorenzo once more in time : but if that is 
 denied me, may I be enabled to say, The will of the 
 Lord be done — and may we meet on Canaan's happy 
 shore, where sorrow will be turned into joy — and all 
 that's earthly in our souls will be done away, and in its 
 place we shall have the nature of angels and saints. 
 
 " O what a happy company — 
 Where saints and angels join !" 
 
 There will be no more anger nor strife — no more 
 malice nor envyings, evil speaking, nor any thing that 
 shall mar our happiness, or give us pain — but harmony 
 and peace shall for ever abound ! May God help us to 
 be faithful to him, and to the spirit of his grace. 
 
 " How tedious and tasteless the hours 
 
 Wiien Jesui no longer I see ; 
 Sweet prospects, sweet birds, and sweet flow'rs, 
 
 Have all lost their sweetness to me. 
 The midsummer sun shines but dim — 
 
 The fields strive in vain to look gay j 
 But when I am happy in him, 
 
 December's as pleasant as May. 
 
 " His name yields the richest perfume, 
 
 And sweeter tlian music his voice ; 
 His presence disperses my gloom. 
 
 And makes all within me rejoice. 
 I should, were he always thus nigh, 
 
 Have nothing to loish or lo fear — 
 No mortal so happy as I, 
 
 My summer would last all the year." 
 
 O that 1 could always be enabled to put my trust in 
 him in everv time of trouble — and may the Lord prepare 
 me for death and glory.— 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 81 
 
 *' There on a green and flowery mount 
 
 Our weary souls shall sit ; 
 And with transporting joys recount 
 
 The labours of our feet !" 
 
 May 10th. I am in a lingering state of health, and 
 whether ever I shall be able to be of any use to myself 
 or others I know not — but I hope that I may be enabled 
 to be resigned to the disposal of Providence, and say, Not 
 my will but thine be done. It is a reality that we are 
 born to die, and after death to come to judgment — and 
 how ought we to live, that we may stand acquitted ia 
 that awful day, when Christ in glory shall appear to 
 judge both the quick and the dead. O that I may have 
 " my robes washed and made white in the blood of the 
 Lamb," that I may hear the welcome sentence, Come ye 
 blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for 
 you from the foundation of the world — O happy day — 
 when we shall be delivered from this body of clay, that 
 clogs and weighs down the soul oftentimes, and makes 
 us cry out with the apostle, who shall deliver me from 
 the body of this death ! 
 
 How necessary it is, for us to watch and pray, that we 
 enter not into temptation— but hold fast the confidence 
 that we have in a blessed Saviour. 
 
 " On Jordan's stormy banks I stand, 
 
 And cast a wishful eye, ' 
 To Canaan's fair and happy land 
 
 Where my possessions lie. 
 O the transporting happy scene 
 
 That rises to my sight — 
 Sweet fields array'd in living green, 
 
 And rivers of delight. 
 
 " The generous fruits that never fail, 
 
 On trees immortal grow : 
 There rocks and hills, and brooks and vales, 
 
 With milk and honey flow : 
 
 IS3C56 
 
83 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 All o'er those wide extended plains, 
 
 Shines one eternal day ; 
 There God the Son forever reigns, 
 
 And scatters night away." 
 
 " No chilling winds nor pois'nous breath, 
 
 Can reach that healthful shore; 
 Sickness and sorrow — pain and death, 
 
 Are felt and fear'd no more. 
 When shall I reach that happy place, 
 
 And be for ever blest : 
 When I shall see my Father's face, 
 
 And in his bosom rest ! 
 
 "Fill'd with delight my raptur'd soul 
 
 Can here no longer stay ; 
 Though Jordan's waves around me roll, 
 
 Fearless I'd launch away: 
 There on those high and flow'ry plains, 
 
 Our spirits ne'er shall tire; 
 But in perpetual, joyful strains, 
 
 Redeeming love admire. 
 
 It is through the tender mercy of God, that I am alive 
 and out of hell ! O that I may be renewed in the spirit 
 of my mind ! May all the earthly dispositions of my 
 heart be changed into heavenly, that I may be prepared 
 to bid adieu to this world of sorroAV, and find an habita- 
 tion of peace, where the wicked cease from troubling, 
 and the weary be at rest. My God help me to be faithful 
 the few days that I have to spend on earth. My heart 
 hath been much sunk under a weight of sorrow — when I 
 consider how far Irom God and heaven, and what I would 
 be, I am ! — O that the cry of my soul may be, Dear 
 Jesiis^ raise me higherf! I long io be Ao/y, as Thou art 
 holy. May the Lord help me to rely on his mercy and 
 goodness for all that is to come — and say without rescn'e, 
 " The will of the Lord be done." 
 
 <Sf>;a» 
 
THE WILDERNESS, 83 
 
 " O God, my help in ages past, 
 
 My hope for years to come; 
 My shelter from flie stormy blast, 
 
 And my eternal home." 
 
 Prepare me lor that happy day, when all the saints 
 get home — and sit down at the right hand of God — 
 where we shall be freed from all the toils and troubles 
 of life, and have pleasure without end — where trouble 
 and anguish cannot enter, but all shall be harmony and 
 peace ! 
 
 " O what a glorious company, 
 When saints and angels meet" — 
 
 in robes of white arrayed — when Christ shall wipe all 
 tears from our eyes, and we shall be admitted to sit down 
 with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and all the saints that 
 have gone through much tribulation, and washed their 
 robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. 
 May my heart and life be conformed to the gospel, that I 
 may be a comfort to my companion, and a blessing to 
 society ; 
 
 " And may my sun in smiles decline — 
 And bring a pleasing night." 
 
 The men that love the Lord are happy in this world 
 and in the next ! O may that be my happy lot — may the 
 Lord help me to tear every idol from my heart, and may 
 he reign without a rival there. I feel my heart's desire 
 is, to love the Lord with my whole heart. 
 
 *' This is a woiid of trouble and grief I plainly see ; 
 But when in deepest sorrow, O God, I look to Thee ! 
 Thou deliver^dst Danid, when in the lions' den — 
 And if thou didst protect him, O why not other men !*' 
 
 Help me to pray without ceasing, and in every thing 
 give thanks ! May my soul's concern and only care be, 
 10 secure a lot among the blest — that when my days are 
 6* 
 
84 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 ended on earth, I may receive an inheritance that can 
 never be taken from me I May God preserve my com- 
 panion while absent. 
 
 In my days of childhood^ the Providence of God was 
 over me to preserve me from evil ; although I lost my 
 mother, one of the most invaluable blessings that a child 
 can be deprived of, particularly a female. Yet the Lord 
 was my friend, and brought me up to the years of matu- 
 rity, with a mind as little tainted with the evil practices 
 that are prevalent among young people as most. My 
 sister was very careful to teach me the way of rectitude 
 in my earliest days, which was of great benefit to me in 
 my journey through life. And I doubt not, if mothers 
 would begin with their children when they are young, 
 they might mould them into almost SLny frame they chose. 
 But instead of paying that attention to their moi'als while 
 their minds are young, and susceptible of good impres- 
 sions, as they ought ; they suffer them to mix with those 
 that are wicked to a proverb ; thinking there is no dan- 
 ger — they are too young to be injured by any bad example 
 or precept. But they find, when it is too late, that their 
 minds are too easily impressed with evil ; and habits, 
 which are imbibed in childhood, are not so easily eradi- 
 cated : and through their neglect, many that might be 
 shining characters in society, a blessing to the age that 
 they live in, they are but a nuisance to mankind, and are 
 rearing up another set to walk in their tracks. Thus the 
 world is contaminated by the mismanagement of mothers ! 
 My heart has often been pained, to see the dear little 
 innocents suffered to run at random ; and taught nothing 
 that would be of service to them, either in this world, or 
 in the next ! May the Lord open the eyes of those that 
 have the care of children, to see the importance of their 
 charge ; and enable them to do their duty — that the rising 
 generation may be more obedient to their parents, more 
 attentive to the duty they owe their God — then they will 
 be a greater blessing to society, and will be better quali- 
 fied to fill up that sphere in life which they may be called 
 to — and above all, be prepared for those happy regions, 
 where all will be harmony and peace ! 
 
 After my marriage, leaving the place where I had 
 lived from my early days, I was placed in quite a different 
 
THE WILDERNESS. «5 
 
 «pliere of life. Unacquainted with the variety of man* 
 jiers and dispositions of mankind, I thought all who pro- 
 fessed friendship were friends; but I have found myself 
 mistaken in many instances. Some that at one ti-me would 
 ■appear Uke as if •there was nothing too good that they 
 "COuld do for one, at another lime Avere so cool and dis* 
 tant, that one would be ready to conclude they could not 
 be the same people! These c<3nstant changes have, in 
 some measure, taught ]sie this lesson, tfeat we are all frail 
 mortals, liable to change; and there is but <fne scHirce 
 ihat is permanent. There we may place implicit coiifi- 
 dence, and we will not be deceived, 
 
 I have abundant cause to be thankful to my great 
 Benefactor, for the continued favours bestowed me — and 
 for many kind friends who have administered to my 
 necessities in the time of adversity: may the great Mas- 
 ter reward them richly m this world, and in that which 
 is to come, eternal life and glory ! It is said to be more 
 blessed to give than receive, therefore, those that have it 
 in their power to do good to the needy sons and daughters 
 of affliction, and follow the dictates of charity, will have 
 a. double reward: they will feel a sweet peace in their 
 own souls while they are travelling through this un^-^ 
 friendly world, and when they come to bid adieu to ^^.11 
 things beJow the sun, they will have a glorious prospect 
 of a happy entrance into the blest abode of saints and 
 angels ! 
 
 ** O may my lot be cast with these, 
 The least of Jesus' witnesses" — 
 
 on earth — and at last be joined to that happy company 
 above the skies ! 
 
 What need there is to watch and pray, and guard 
 against the vain allurements of this world ; to steer our 
 course between the rocks on either hand, that we may 
 gain the destined port of eternal repose in the bosom of 
 our once crucified, but now risen and exalted Saviour. 
 
 Our hearts are too often fixed on the vain and transient 
 things of time and sense, while the important concerns 
 of eternal happiness or misery are almost, if not quite 
 fteglected ! We are leaving nothing undone that we can 
 
86 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 accomplish to lay up treasure on earth, which will perish 
 in the using — wnile the imwortal part, that will have aa 
 existence as long as its Author exists, lieth in ruins ! O 
 what madness ! This poor hody, what is it, but a dying 
 lump of clay ! that must in a few revolving- days be con- 
 signed to the dust from whence it was taken! What 
 will it avail us then — ^whether we were rich or poor, 
 noble or ignoble. The main point will then be, whether 
 we have spent our time in the service of God, or have 
 devoted it to the pleasures and vanities of the world — to 
 please ourselves, instead of obeying the calls of the gos- 
 
 f»el, and taking up the cross ! O that these things may 
 ay with serious weight on our minds, that we may make 
 sure work for eternity, and spend no time unprofitably, 
 but husband it to the best advantage. 
 
 The various scenes of life make such an impression on 
 our minds, that we are often brought into such perplex! 
 ties, that we hardly know which way to turn : but if we 
 could always live in the enjoyment of that Faith, which 
 it is our privilege to possess, we should never be at a loss. 
 I have passed through many trying situations in Europe 
 and America. — ^but the Lord hath been my helper thus 
 far, through all the vicissitudes attending the journey 
 OF LIFE ! And I hope, one day to outstrip the wind, 
 beyond the bounds of time — where there will be no more 
 uncertainty or disappointment — where peace and har- 
 mony shall for ever abound : — after all our troubles here, 
 how sweet and consoling rest will be ! May the Lord 
 help me to live near to the bleeding side of a crucified 
 Redeemer — willing to take up my cross and follow him 
 where he may lead, if it is to go through fire or water. 
 These are trying times — the love of many is waxing 
 cold. How soon we may be called to a fresh trial of our 
 FAITH, we cannot tell : — may we stand Jirm, knowing 
 that all shall work together for good to those that love 
 GOD. 
 
 How many and various are the difficulties of life, while 
 travelling through this vale of tears, to the place of rest, 
 whither we are all hastening. Were it not for the mix- 
 ture of pleasure that we find interwoven in those pains, 
 we should often sink under them — but he that rides upon 
 Ihe winds, and can command them at a nod, undertakes 
 
THE mLDERNESS. 87 
 
 our cause; and makes a way for us, when we see none — 
 and cannot tell which way we must go ! I am indebted 
 to that great and beneficent Hand for all the mercies 
 Jhai I do enjoy. O that ray heart may be filled with 
 gratitude to God for these favours. 
 
 I arrived in New York with ray companion, towards 
 the last of March, 1814 — where I met with kind friends, 
 particularly brother Munson and his family. They are 
 like they were our own dear brothers and sisters : may the 
 Lord reward them in this world and in the next ! Here I 
 met with my old friend sister Lester — she is still the 
 same — may the Lord prosper her on her journey to a 
 glorious eternity I I have found as kind friends of late 
 as I could expect — O that my heart may ever feel grate- 
 ful to my God for all his mercies to unworthy me ! I 
 ha-e felt a greater desire to be all devoted to the Lord, 
 (soul and body, and all that I have and am, for time and 
 eternity,) of late, than I have felt for a long time ! I do 
 not expect to find that place, while I am an inhabitant of 
 this lower world, where there is nothing to trouble or 
 afflict either body or mind. May the great Master give 
 me more of that spirit of humility ; that it may enable 
 me to be willing to suffer all the righteous will of God; 
 and when called to bid adieu to all below the sun, that I 
 may have a pleasing prospect of a glorious immortality ! 
 O how sweet and delightful must be the scene, to a soul 
 that has been tossed on the ocean of time ; and hath 
 fought their passage through, and got within view of the 
 happy land : 
 
 "When all their sorrows will be o'er; 
 
 Their suff'ring and their pain : 
 Who meet on that eternal shore 
 
 Shall never part again 1" 
 
 O may be I prepared to meet those that have gone before, 
 and those that may come after !" 
 
 May lOth, 1814. We have been in New York for 
 several weeks, and kindly treated by many — may the 
 Lord reward theml 
 
 Though many hare been my trials and afflictions the 
 
88 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 last four or five years of my life, yet the Lord hath been 
 my friend — and I feel a desire to devote the remainder 
 of my days in his service. How long I shall be an 
 inhabitant of this world of woe, is uncertain to me — I 
 feel the seeds of death in this mortal frame — and it is 
 my earnest desire to become more and more acquainted 
 with my own heart, that when the summons shall arrive, 
 I may not be alarmed, hut rejoice to go and be at rest ! 
 O how soon my heart sinks down to earth again ! O my 
 Lord, help rne to keep my eye upon the prize ! and my 
 heart stayed on Thee ! that this world may have no 
 charms sufficient to draw me from the contemplation of 
 heaven and glory ! 
 
 " Was I possessor of the earth, 
 
 And call'd the stars my own, 
 Without thy graces, and thyself, 
 
 I were a wretch undone ! 
 Let others stretch their arms like seaa 
 
 And grasp in all the shore j 
 Grant me the visits of thy grace, 
 
 And I desire no more.'' 
 
 May I ever lay at the feet of my glorious Redeemer, who 
 hath bought my pardon on the tree ! My soul is pained 
 on the account of those that were once plain, humble fol- 
 lowers of the meek and lowly Jesus ; but now are so 
 conformed to the world, that they can hardly be distin- 
 guished from them ! How long will they sleep in secu- 
 rity, wandering from God — pursuing a shadow instead of 
 a substance ! How vain are all things below the sun I 
 We may have prosperity one day, and the next may 
 prove quite the reverse ! How necessary it is to have 
 our hearts detached from the world, and placed on a 
 more durable object ! 
 
 May 13th, 1814. I am this day under renewed obliga- 
 tions to the great Preserver for the blessings that I enjoy — 
 my life is preserved, and I have kind friends that appear 
 willing to supply all my wants. May God, that is able 
 to give me the inward consolation of the Holy Spirit, 
 enable me to draw water out of the fountain that never 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 89 
 
 will run dry ! I long to be more holy in heart and life ; 
 and then I shall surely be more happy ! O my soul, 
 arise! and shake thyself, and put on thy beautiful gar- 
 ments 1 and then, I can rejoice in tribulation, knowing 
 that tribulation worketh patience ; and what a charming 
 trait it is in the Christian character — that of 'patience ! 
 O that I may learn to possess my soul in patience in this 
 day of trial ! The times are gloomy, and we need to be 
 continually at the throne of grace, and cry mightily to 
 God to stand by us ; that we may keep the narrow road, 
 and not turn to the right hand or to the left, 
 
 Sunday, May 15th, 1814. I thank the Lord that I have 
 once more had the privilege of hearing the sweet sound 
 of the gospel, from these words : " By whom shall Jacob 
 arise, for he is small." I Avish it may sink into the hearts 
 of those that heard it! In the first place, he told what 
 was meant by Jacob or Israel — spiritually the church of 
 Christ; and then went on to tell why it was styled small 
 in those days, as well as at the present day. First, 
 because the professed clergy were not faithful, but were 
 fallen asleep upon their watch tower; and did not warn 
 the people of their danger as they ought. Secondly, 
 wicked rulers^ by their bad example, prevent that good 
 being done as otherwise would be, if they were men that 
 truly loved and feared God. And thirdly, the laity^ those 
 that heard the sound of the gospel, did not make that im- 
 provement of the precious opportunities which they enjoy- 
 ed as they ought. Parents set bad examples before their 
 children — this was one great cause why we so seldom 
 saw the young and rising generation turning to God ! 
 And fourthly, and lastly, he showed by whom Jacob must 
 arise — it was our duty to pray in faith, but it was God 
 that gave the increase — therefore, we must hope and 
 believe that God would hear our prayers, and convert our 
 children and neighbours, and prosper Zion. If we were 
 united in heart, so as to be like an army with banners, 
 and not let the spirit of division get in among us. and 
 cry out " I am of Paul, and I am of Apollos, and I or 
 Cephas, and I of Christ — but all must be of one mind 
 and heart in Christ Jesus the Lord! Then we should 
 see how the church would prosper, and what glorious 
 
9D VICISSITUDES m 
 
 seasons we should have ! But the times are gloomy, and 
 when the cloud will disperse we cannot tell. 
 
 May 19th, Lorenzo is quite unwell—trials await usy 
 but may our trust be in the Lord, that he will deliver us 
 from all our troubles at last, and land us safe on the 
 peaceful shores of blest eternity j where all our toils will 
 be over — our suifering and our pain ; where we shal) join 
 the happy millions that surround the throne of God, and 
 sing hallelujah to God and the Lamb for ever and ever 1 
 
 " Our moments fly apace, 
 
 !Nor will our minutes stay j 
 Just like a flood our hasty days 
 
 Are sweeping us away," 
 
 May our hearts be inspired with love and gratitude to 
 the great Giver of all things, for the mercies we do 
 enjoy — to enable us to improve every moment to the 
 glory of God, and our own good I 
 
 May 20th, 1814. We are at Hoboken, a delightful 
 spot of the earth, upon the Jersey side of the river, oppo- 
 site New York — where, from the window of the room 
 we occupy, we have a grand view of the city, with the 
 majestic steeples of the different churches, reaching their 
 lofty heads almost to the lowering skies — while the beau- 
 tiful trees that are interspersed among the houses, with 
 the surrounding country, which can also be seen at the 
 same time, conspire to make it a most enchanting pros- 
 pect ! On the other hand, the Jersey side presents to 
 view, decorated with all the charms of Spring — green 
 trees and shady groves ; while the delightful songsters of 
 the woods tune their harmonious throats in praising their 
 great Creator! These beauties of nature all joined in 
 concert, one would suppose, could not fail to excite grati- 
 tude in the hard and obdurate heart of man, the most 
 noble work of our great Creator! But lamentable to 
 tell !-^they appear to be less thankful than the birds that 
 fly in open space, or even the reptiles that crawl upon 
 the earth, for they answer the end for which they were 
 made — but man, who was formed in the image of his 
 God, and not holy indebted to him for creation^ but also 
 for redemption in the blood of Jesus, tramples on his 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 91 
 
 mercies, and dispises the oflfers of his grace ; and live 
 more like beasts, than creatures possessed of rationality ! 
 O that men would learn to love and serve the Lord ! 
 
 We are at the house of a kind family, but they do not 
 profess religion. May the Lord make our stay with them 
 a blessing to their souls, and to the neighbourhood where 
 they live ! For the peopfe in this place, by what I can 
 learn, are quite careless about their souls! O that the 
 Lord may make use of some measures to bring them to 
 a knowledge of the truth — my soul longs to see a revival 
 of religion take place once more ! 
 
 May 21st. I am still alive, and out of a never-ending 
 eternity ; for which may my heart be filled with gratitude 
 to him that sustains and supplies me with every nee^^ed 
 blessing ; who inclines the hearts of my fellow mortals 
 to treat me with kindness ! O how much I am indebted 
 to my God — and how little is my heart affected with a 
 grateful sense of his goodness ! O that he ivould implant, 
 deep in my soul, lore to God and man; with a heart-felt 
 sense of my dependence upon him, for all the favours 
 which 1 do enjoy. 
 
 From Sunday until Monday we were in New York at 
 brother Munson's, the greatest part ofthe time. Lorenzo 
 is printing his Journal, n^ith some other tracts ; which 
 has detained him in and about this city far longer than he 
 expected to have stayed when we came here — but the 
 way seemed to open for him to print his books, and he 
 thought it best to improve the present opening, and hope 
 it may prove a blessing to many. 
 
 On Wednesday afternoon we came over to Mr. Ander- 
 son's a^ain ; where we met with the same kind reception 
 which he had experienced some days before. Mrs. An- 
 derson was very siek, but was something better the next 
 day. Lorenzo preached to the people in this place on 
 Wednesday evening, and had a crowded house. May 
 the seed take root in some heart, and bear fruit to perfec- 
 tion I I feel the need of more faith, to be enabled to put 
 my tricst in the great Giver of every good and perfect 
 gift — my heart too often wanders from the right source. 
 O that my mind may be stayed on God in every trying 
 hour— 1 long to be made holy in heart and life ; and feel 
 a willingness lo bear the cross like a good sol(fier of Jesus 
 7 
 
92 ViClSSITUDES IN 
 
 Christ, that when the sun of life shall deeliiie, I may 
 har^e a pleasing prospect of a happy eternity ! 
 
 Saturday, May 28th, Through the goodness of God I 
 enjoy better health than I have done for more than two 
 vears before. May my hean be filled with love and 
 gratitude to the Great and Beneficent hand that is daiJy 
 showering down blessings on- my unworthy head, and 
 improve Foy lengthened days, in doing good to myself 
 and others 1 For why should I be useless in this time of 
 need 7 But, O I my heart shrinks at the cross I May 
 the Lord help me to be willing to take it up, and follow 
 Jesus in the way I When we consider the shortness 
 of time, and the length of eternity, we perceive there 
 is Tao time to loose j but a necessity to improve every 
 moment to the best advantage. May it be impressed on 
 my heart » 
 
 May 31si. I desire to have my heart filled with grate- 
 ful songs of prgise, to the God of all grace and mereies, 
 for his favours tt> me ! Through ev^ry lane of life, he 
 hath provided me ktad friends, in the day of adversity as 
 well as in the day of prosperity. What reason have I to 
 be faithful to my God for all those blessings ! May the 
 Lord help me ever* to lie at the feet of the Saviour, and 
 learn instruction from his lip^ ! I am still at Captain 
 Anderson's, at the beautiful little town of Hoboken, as 
 charming a place as I almost ever saw. O, what a pity 
 there is not (as I knoAv of) one person in this place that 
 enjoys religion ; or at least, not many feeding much con- 
 cern for their souls ; and they have no preaching, except 
 by the Baptists, who preach up " particular election" and 
 reprobation, in the strongest terms that I ever he^rd. I 
 went to hear them on Sunday last, and my heart was 
 truly pained, to hear a man get up and address a number 
 of people, (who were unacquainted with the way of 
 salvation, and for aught I know, were linng in the neg- 
 lect of their duty altogether,) in this way j that they 
 " could do nothing ; they must be taken by an irresistible 
 power, and be brought in." But my heart replied, " Ho, 
 every one that ihirsteth, come ye to the waters ; and he 
 that hath no money, come buy wine and milk, without 
 money and without price!" What a pity it is. that men 
 should darken cpuDcil by vrords witboMt knowledge! 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 93 
 
 For It is expressly sa.id, that all may come thai will ; and 
 tthat they shall in no wise be shut out. May God stop 
 the mouths of those that attempt to speak in his name, 
 who are not called and qualified by the Spirit, for the 
 work ! but bkss and prosper those that have taken their 
 iives in their hands, and have gone forth to call sinners 
 10 repentaiTtce, offering a free salvation to all tl>e fallen 
 race of Adam^ 
 
 June 1st. What a miracle of mercy it is, that I am 
 still spared oii this side eternity, whilst many of my fel- 
 low-mortals have been called from tiie stage of action; 
 sheir bodies numbered with the pale nations under ground, 
 and their souls taken flight to a world of spirits ; whilst I, 
 she most unprofitable, perhaps, of any, am spared, and 
 «ajoy a tolerable state of health, so much better than I 
 once expected I ever should. May my heart be made 
 truly sensible of the duty I owe to the great God of 
 Sieaven and earth ; whose name is terrible to all who are 
 in any measure sensible of his Majesty and Power, And 
 also I desire to know and do my duty to my fellow-mor- 
 gals ; but I tremble at the cross 1 O that I may be deli- 
 irered from " the fear of man, which bringeth a saare 1" 
 
 "My drowsy powers why sSeep ye sot 
 
 " Awake, ray sluggish soul \ 
 
 ^' Nothing hath half thy work to do; 
 
 ''' Yet nothing is half so dull ! 
 
 *' Go to the ants ; for one poor grain 
 
 '' See how they toil and strive ; — 
 
 " Yet we who have a heaven to obtaiij^ 
 
 ^' How negligent we live ! 
 
 ^' Waken, O Lord, my drowsy sense, 
 
 *' To walk Uiis dangerous road ; 
 
 ■" That if «ay soul be hurried hence, "^ 
 
 May it be found m. G^d i 
 
 Jiiae 2d. I am this day tinder renewed ^j-bligatioas to 
 that Hand which hath supplied all my necessities, frcMs 
 ray earliest days, until the present period of time. O 
 that I may lie in the vailty of humility, under a sense of 
 
94 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 the numerous favours bestOAved upon me, by the hand of 
 an ever bountiful God ! and improve the moments that 
 are allotted me, to the glory of his great Name, and the 
 good of my own immortal soul ! I feel my heart is too 
 often placed upon things below the sun — may the Lord 
 help me to tear my heart and affections from earth, and 
 place them on things above. 
 
 My Lorenzo's mind is exercised and drawn out to visit 
 . foreign lands, to call sinners to repentance ; and 1 would 
 not stand in his way above all things, but I feel the need 
 of more grace ; to acquiesce in all circumstances, in the 
 will of Providence ; which I desire to do more than any 
 thing beside. May the God of all grace, enable me to 
 say — "not my will but thine be done." Lord, may I be 
 made of some use to my fellow creatures while on earth 
 I stay, that I need not be quite useless, while I am an 
 iahabitant of this lower world I — It is now night, and the 
 evening shades prevail. The sun hath set beyond the 
 western sky, and the Lord only knows whether I shall 
 see the return of another day ! May he take charge of 
 me this night ; and grant, that whether I sleep, or what- 
 ever I do, I may have a single eye to his glory, and be 
 prepared to meet my " last enemy" in peace! May God 
 reward my kind benefactors with every needed blessing. 
 
 Sunday, June 12th. This hath been a day of deep 
 trial to my soul. There having been an appointment 
 made, for my Lorenzo to preach in the African church, 
 at six o'clock, and the people appearing anxious to see 
 me, as many of tbem had not, it was published that I 
 would be there, and perhaps I would subjoin a few words 
 by way of exhortation : this made such an impression on 
 the minds of people, that they came out in such q'lanti- 
 ties, that they could not get into the house. I took ray 
 seat in the altar ; and after Lorenzo had given them a 
 discourse from these words — " O earth, earth, earth, hear 
 the word of the Lord," — I rose up and spoke a few 
 words; but the cross was so weighty, I did not fully 
 answer my mind. I closed the meeting by striving to 
 lift my heart to God, in prayer, with some degree of 
 liberty. May the Lord deliver me from the fear of man, 
 which bringeth a snare ! Why should we be so much 
 under the influence of the enemy, as not to speak for our 
 
THE WILDERNESS, 95 
 
 God in these important times, when wickedness doth so 
 much abound, and the love of many is waxing cold, and 
 others are carrying such burthens I O may the God of 
 all grace stand by and support his people in this day of 
 trial ! The storm is gathering fast, and who will be able 
 to stand, while the anger of the Lord is pouring out upon 
 the iuhabiiants of the earth, for .their ingratitude, parti- 
 cularly those of our favoured land, America ! We have 
 had peace and plenty for many years; but the fulness of 
 bread was the destruction of Sodom! O that it may not 
 be the case with us! 
 
 June 13th, May my soul and body be altogether 
 devoted to that God, who hath provided for me ever since 
 I have had an existence ! I have in some instances been 
 brought into trying circumstances; but there hath always 
 been a way opened for me, so that I have never lacked 
 any thing so much as to say that I was in a suffering 
 condition. For if I had it not, nor wherewith to procure 
 it for myself, yet the Lord that hath the hearts of all men 
 in his hands, would raise up soine one to supply my 
 wants ! Giory ! glory ! be to his Name for ever and ever, 
 for all his mercies, to such an unworthy mortal as me I — 
 What is past we know ; but what is to come we cannot 
 tell. May we be prepared for whatever lies before us ! The 
 cloud seems gathering fast over our land! May the God 
 that rules on high — that all the earth surveys, avert the 
 threatening storm, and deliver us from the power of 
 our enemies.— O the charms of America! shall they 
 he destroyed by foreigners ? Shall the rich jewel of 
 LIBERTY be plucked from the American croicn by 
 TYRANTS ?— Forbid it mighty God !— and grant, if 
 we need chastisements, as no doubt we do, as a nation, 
 to let us fall into THY HAND, rather than into the 
 hand of man, for thou art merciful ! O that the people 
 of this favoured land, might learn to be wise, in time to 
 save our country from destruction ! My soul mourns on 
 account of my fellow-mortals ! May they be made sen- 
 sible of the necessity of making their peace with God. 
 before the evil day shall come, when they shall say " I 
 have no pleasure in them." 
 
 June 14th. Through the farour and goodness of God 
 I am still aiiyt, and am blessed mtb as good health, as I 
 7* 
 
96 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 have enjoyed for many months ; and trust my face is 
 Zion-ward. Forever praised be the Lord for all blessings 
 which I do enjoy. O may my soul drink deeper and 
 deeper into that spirit which will enable me to bear the 
 cross with joy ; and not shrink from it like a coward, 
 and the crown fall from my head, and others take the 
 prize. 
 
 June 18th. Through the tender mercy of the Lord, 
 who is over all and above all, I am still an inhabitant of 
 this lower world, surrounded by dangers and difficulties ; 
 liable to stray in bye and forbidden paths ; and the way 
 appears so gloomy that I tremble at the prospect. I feel 
 much concerned for the present state of my beloved 
 country. There is so much dissention among the people 
 of this most favoured of all lands, that I fear for its con- 
 sequence. My heart has often been pained, to see the 
 INGRATITUDE which has been prevalent in our 
 peaceful, plentiful, and happy country. — Whilst other 
 nations were almost deluged in blood, we have been 
 blessed with peace in our borders; and the glorious 
 gospel has been spread from shore to shore. But these 
 happy days are gone, and for aught I know, or can see, it 
 may be long before they will return, unless the Lord 
 should undertake our cause. He can bring low and raise 
 up— He sways kingdoms ; and it is through his long 
 suffering and tender mercy that the world is kept in 
 existence; for it groaneth under the wickedness of its 
 inhabitants ! If He were to enter into judgment with 
 us, who could stand before him? And it appears he is 
 about to visit the earth with a curse ! It is surely time 
 for those that profess to fear God, to awake and shake 
 themselves from that indolence of spirit, which so pre- 
 vails in our land ; and lay a siege to a throne of grace for 
 deliverance : for he is all-sufficient, and can make a way, 
 where it appears to us, short-sighted creatures, impossi- 
 ble for a way to be made. May he undertake our cause, 
 and bring deliverance in whatever channel he thinks 
 best. 
 
 Sunday, June 19th. I have been at Capt. John Ander- 
 son's, Hoboken, for several weeks, where I have been 
 treated very kindly. Himself and wife are as agreeable 
 a couple as I have met with for a long time, and I believe 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 97 
 
 they wish well to the cause of religion ; but they do not 
 enjoy that peace in their own souls as they might. May 
 the God of all grace attend them, and enable them to 
 take up the cross, that they may be prepared for a Seat at 
 the right hand of God. at last. 
 
 On the twenty-ninth of June, we left New-York, after 
 having been there for the space of near three months, for 
 New Haven, in the mail-stage. We travelled through 
 the most delightful country that my eyes ever beheld ; 
 the season was so charming ! the gardens were in bloom ; 
 the fields and meadows clothed in their richest dress ; so 
 that the eye might be transported with pleasure at almost 
 every glance. My heart was at the same time contem- 
 plating the goodness of God to the once happy land of 
 America ; but now, how soon her beauty might be laid 
 in the dust, by the spoiler, we could not tell, and all her 
 glory brought to naught I But there is a God, that rules 
 over all ; and I trust he will bring order out of confusion ! 
 May the people learn humility and submission from the 
 present calamity, to the will of the great Ruler of the 
 universe. 
 
 We arrived at New Haven about nine o'clock at night ; 
 we stopt at the stage-tavern, kept by a man that fears not 
 God nor regards man, if we may judge by the appear- 
 ance, but we could not get permission to stay there for 
 the night. It being so late we could not find any friends, 
 although there were Methodists in the place ; conse- 
 quently, we were under the necessity of seeking lodgings 
 in an other public house : accordingly, we did, and slept 
 there. But in the morning, Lorenzo went out to find the 
 preacher, that is stationed at New Haven, and in his way, 
 he met with a brother Wool/, and he requested him to 
 breakfast with him, and sent up to the public-house for 
 me to come to his house ; accordingly I did, but the peo- 
 ple where we stayed, said that we ought to have eat 
 breakfast with them, as we stayed there the night before j 
 and so charged us one dollar and a half for our lodging, 
 which Lorenzo paid. 
 
 The friends in New-Haven were very kind, and wished 
 Lorenzo to stay over the Sabbath ; this was on Thursday, 
 he was anxious to get to his father^s j but by the solici- 
 tation of brother Smithy the stationed preacher, and many 
 
98 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 others, he was prevailed on to stay. He preached on 
 Thursday night and Friday night ; and on Sunday he 
 preached four times, the people appeared quite solemn 
 and attentive. The preacher in that place, is one of the 
 most affectionate, friendly men, that I have ever met 
 with , may the Lord bless him, and make him useful to 
 souls! 
 
 On Monday morning I left New Haven, in company 
 with a man and his wife for Branford, in their wagcn ; 
 while Lorenzo stayed to give them another sermon, as it 
 was the " Fourth of July,^^ and there was an oration to 
 be delivered by the great Mr. T**** ; accordingly, he 
 spoke something on the present state of our country, to 
 an audience that were attentive. He then left there'in a 
 wagon, which belonged to a (Quaker, who were going to 
 see their friends in Branford, where he spoke again at 
 night. 
 
 The next morning the Jriend that had brought us to 
 Branford, started with us, to North Guilford, to a brother's 
 of mine, that I had not seen for near thirty years. We 
 were both very small at that time, but now he had a 
 family of six children and a wife, and I felt much pleased 
 to find that he had been industrious, and appeared to be 
 doing well, as it relates to this world; and I trust he was 
 not altogether indifferent to the things of another. His 
 wife was in a low state of health, but I have no doubt 
 but she enjoys religion : may the God of all grace bless 
 them and their dear children. There I saw my step- 
 mother also, that I had not seen before, since I was six 
 years of age : my heart glowed with affection towards 
 her; may her last days be crowned with peace I 
 
 My brother took his wagon, and carried us to Durham, 
 on the stage-road, and tarried with us that night ; and in 
 the morning bid us farewell, and returned home. A friend 
 living at Durham, lent us a chaise to Middletown ; where 
 ray Lorenzo held meeting at night. There we met bro- 
 ther Burrows from Hebron, with a wagon, which was to 
 return the next morning, in which we came to his house, 
 where *we stayed from Friday until Monday. Lorenzo 
 preached on Friday night, and also on Sunday at the 
 Methodist meeting-house; the j)eople were solemn and 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 99 
 
 attentive. At five o'clock, at another place four or five 
 miles distant, and returned again that night. . 
 
 ^ This place was about twelve or fourteen miles from 
 his dear father'' s ; and as we had no horse or carriage 
 and brother Burrows made wagons, he bought a horse 
 and wagon from him ; and we started on Monday about 
 three o'clock in the afternoon, and arrived at his father's 
 just before dark. We were kindly received by his father 
 and the rest of the family ; we found the old gentleman 
 in tolerable health ; but being a man advanced in years, 
 he was something feeble : we stayed with him from Mon- 
 day until Saturday. This place is much degenerated 
 from what they once were, when the candle of the Lord 
 shone upon their heads ; but now there is scarcely any 
 that I saw, who appeared to enjoy religion ! Our dear 
 old father, seemed to be struggling for deliverance in the 
 blood of Jesus ; may the great Master appear to his soul, 
 the first among ten thousand, and altogether lovely ! 
 
 We spent the week I may say in a solitary way, in 
 taking our rambles through the lonely walks that my 
 Lorenzo had taken in early days of childhood, before his 
 tender mind was malured; and after he had arrived to 
 the age of fifteen, when his heart was wrought upon by 
 the Spirit of God — and this was the sweet grove at the 
 foot of a beautiful hill, through which ran a charmin* 
 rivulet of water ; where he used to go to meditate and 
 
 Eray to that God, who was able to save and did deliver 
 is soul, and enabled him to take up his cross, and go 
 forth to call sinners to repentance. 
 
 My heart was pained to know asd see that some part 
 of the family, was not, or appeared not engaged to save 
 their souls. 
 
 On Saturday, we started for Tolland, and from thence 
 to Squarepond, where Lorenzo preached twice the next 
 day, at the Methodist meeting-house, to an attentive con- 
 grerration ; and at five o'clock at Tolland, the people 
 seemed very solemn. Early on Monday morning we 
 left Tolland, for Hartford, where Lorenzo preached at 
 night, in a Presbyterian meeting-house, to a tolerable 
 congregation. We met with kind treatment from a Doc- 
 tor Lynds — may the Lord bless him and his! We left 
 Hartford on Tuesday, and went to an aunt's of Lorenzo's 
 
100 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 that night, living about four or five miles from his father's. 
 She appeared very glad to see us ; and sent out and called 
 in the neighbours, and Lorenzo gave them a short dis- 
 course. The next day Lorenzo was quite unwell, unable 
 to sit up : but towards evening we made ready, and start- 
 ed for his father's, where we arrived in safety. Lorenzo 
 had intend^ to leave me at his father's, while he took a 
 journey^ to the east ; but circumstances appeared not to 
 favour it ; and he concluded to take me with him. Ac- 
 cordingly, we made preparations for our departure, on 
 Saturday morning, July 23d, 1814, after having stayed 
 with his father for ten or twelve days. 
 
 I felt truly pained to part with the dear old man : may 
 the Lord bless him, and make his last days abundant in 
 peace ! My Lorenzo preached at Vernon at night, and 
 in the morning, to an attentive little company — may the 
 Lord make it like bread cast upon the waters ! He 
 preached at Hartford-five-miles, on Sunday, to a crowded 
 congregation. 
 
 July 25th. We have this day arrived at Hartford ; and 
 my Lorenzo has received his books from New York, and 
 furthermore we have heard of the arrival of a large force 
 of our enemies' soldiers, landing on our once peaceful 
 happy shore I O that the God that is able to save, would 
 appear for our deliverance! although, as a nation, we 
 have forfeited all right and title to protection: yet there 
 is no where else to fly for deliverance I O that we, as a 
 nation, may be humbled before God, and lift our united 
 cries to the throne of grace for his assistance ! May the 
 tumults of the earth be hushed to silence, and people 
 learn war no more ! My soul longs to drink deeper into 
 that spirit of love, to God and man, that I may be made 
 useful to souls, and a comfort to my wandering com- 
 panion, that I may be a helpmate indeed ! 
 
 " How vain are all things here below, 
 " How false, and yet how fair ! 
 " Each pleasure has its poison too, 
 ■ ' And every sweet a snare !" 
 
 O that the Lord would teach me the emptiness of 
 
THE WILDERNESS, 101 
 
 earthly enjoyments, and help me to rely on him alone 
 for support and comfort ! O that my prospects for glory 
 may brighten up, and my soul be struggling for full deli- 
 verance from every desire that is not centered in Hira 
 that is able to give all things I 
 
 I have been reading the exercise of a precious woman, 
 who went with her husband to the East Indies, to help 
 him to preach the gospel to the poor ignorant Hindoos. 
 O that the desire which filled her soul, to spread the good 
 news of glad-tidings of the Saviour, may prevail more 
 and more ! 
 
 We rode three miles from Hartford, the same day that 
 we went there ; and Lorenzo preached at night, at East 
 Hartford, to, perhaps, one hundred and fifty or two hun- 
 dred, (and they were quite attentive.) from these words— 
 " Behold I stand at the door and knock, if any man hear 
 my voice and open the door, I will come in to him, and 
 sup with him. and he with me." My mind was quite 
 depressed, altnough I was enabled to close the meeting 
 by prayer. I feel a gloom hanging over my mind, on the 
 account of the present state of my country. O ! will the 
 great God deliver our happy land into the hand of the 
 spoiler? O that God would hear and answer prayer; 
 inspire, and then accept the prayer of us poor mortals! — 
 My soul longs to be prepared for whatever awaits us on 
 the shores of time ! If we live as we ought, we may 
 rely on the providence of God, to protect us from every 
 evil. My Lorenzo is very unwell. O that the Lord may 
 give bim grace and strength to do his dutv, and call sin- 
 ners to repentance ! May the Lord bless nis labours, and 
 make him useful to souls I 
 
 I long to get more confidence, to take up my cross, and 
 help him to spread the good news of glad tidings to all 
 people — may God help me ! 
 
 My desire is. that I may lie at the feet of Jesus, and be 
 willing to love the cross, that I may wear the crown in 
 those happy mansions above the skies I My heart, I find, 
 is too often wandering from my God ! O that I may 
 arise and shake myself, and in the strength of Jesus, 
 overcome my enemies, both of a spiritual and a temporal 
 nature I I long to be altogether devoted to ray God I 
 
102 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 Lorenzo expects to preach this evening— may the Lord 
 attend, by the unction of his holy Spirit. 
 
 Lorenzo preached the last night; but 1 was so unwell 
 that I could not attend: and he is to preach twice to 
 day — may the Lord stand by him, and make his words 
 sharp and piercing, reaching the hearts of those that hear! 
 
 My soul longs to be more alive to God, that I may be 
 made more useful to my fellow-creatures, and help my 
 companion to spread the glorious gospel through this 
 weary land : we are wanderers on earth — we have no 
 abiding home in this world, but are seeking one above — 
 may the God of all grace enable us to keep the prize in 
 view, and deliver us from all our enemies. 
 
 My Lorenzo hath spoke once to-day, and is to speak 
 again this evening — may the Lord attend the word with 
 power. Why should we desire to live in this world to 
 be useless ? For what would be the benefit if we were 
 to live to the age of Methuselah, and neglect the one 
 thing needful ? It would only add to our condemnation ! 
 O that these things may be impressed on my heart ! 
 
 July 28th. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not 
 all his benefits ! What reason I have to be thankful to 
 my great Benefactor for mercies to me, a poor wanderer 
 upon the earth : that I am provided with kind friends in 
 this world of woe ! May my heart glow Avith gratitude 
 to my God and my fellow-mortals for the blessings that I 
 do enjoy ! May the great Master reward those that are 
 willing to administer to the necessities of those that have 
 taken iheir lives in their hands, and have gone forth to 
 sound the alarm, and call sinners to repentance-^to offer 
 them free salvation in the blood of Jesus ! My soul longs 
 to see Zion prosper; to hear poor sinners inquiring the 
 way to peace and true happiness. O may the Lord 
 inspire my heart with that living faith^ to cry mightily 
 to him who is able to save souls. O, if Christians were 
 more engaged to obtain the heighth and depth, and length 
 and breadth of the love of God, which is m Christ Jesus 
 our Lord, what happy times it would be ! O my soul, 
 awake I — lift up a cry to the God and Father of our Lord 
 Jesus Christ, for full redemption in the blood of Jesus I 
 
 Lorenzo preached three times at E^ast Windsor; but 
 the people are like the nether mill stone, hard and unfeeU 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 103 
 
 ing : may the Lord soften their hard hearts, and bring 
 them to a sense of their danger ! We were at a Itind 
 family by the name of Stoten. May the Lord prosper 
 them in the way to glory. My heart hath felt somewhat 
 refreshed since I came to the house of frien'i Barker's, 
 living in West Windsor. Lorenzo hath been acquainted 
 with the famity sixteen years ago — it does my heart good 
 to meet those that have their faces Zionward ! 
 
 What a sweet meeting it will be when all the tempted 
 followers of Jesus get home: 
 
 " There on a green and flowery mount 
 
 Our weary souls shall sit ; 
 And with transporting joys recount 
 
 The labours of our feet !" 
 
 What a prize ! Is it not worth the striving for ? O may 
 I be more zealous in the way of my duty — more willing 
 to take up the cross. 
 
 The news of war is saluting our ears daily. O that 
 God may prepare us for whatever awaits us — and if a 
 scourge is necessary, may it bring us, as a nation, to the 
 feet of Jesus! My heart is pained within me ! O Lord, 
 prepare me to submit to thy will, with the rest of the poor 
 fallen race of Adam ! We have all sinned, and come 
 short of the glory of God, and deserve chastisement : O 
 that we may fall into the hand of God rather than the 
 hand of man — for he is merciful I I feel a desire to sub- 
 mit without murmuring, but our hearts are so refractory, 
 we need the influence of grace, to make us what we ought 
 to be — My Lord help America ! 
 
 July 29th. Lorenzo preached last evening to #i toler- 
 able company, considering it was a very unpleasant 
 night; and they gave very good attention — may the Lord 
 make it like seed sown on good around, that shsul bring 
 forth fruit in due time ! There ^ems to be a number in 
 this place that are heaven-born and heaven-bound — may 
 the Lord make them burning and shining lights in the 
 land wherein they live, that may be like unto the leaven 
 that was hid in three measures of meal, leavening the 
 whole lump ; so that the flame may continue to increase 
 
r04 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 until the town shall be filled with the glory of God ! My 
 soul longs to see Zion prosper ! O God, fill my heart 
 with love to Thee and my fellow sinners ; my heart is 
 pained to see so little good done as there is — may God 
 revive his work once more in the land. 
 
 •' Through grace I am determin'd 
 
 To conquer though I die, 
 And then away to Jesus, 
 
 On wings of love I'll fly!" 
 
 1 am a stranger and pilgrim on earth, together with my 
 dear companion ; but we have the promise of a substan 
 tial inheritance, if we are faithful, and continue to the 
 end ! 
 
 " TheTiord my pasture shall prepare, 
 And feed me with a shepherd's care ; 
 My noon-day walks he shall attend, 
 And all my midnight hours defend." 
 
 O Lord, help me to rely upon thy promises, by faith ! 
 
 July '61st, 1814. What cause have I to adore that 
 beneficent Hand, that hath and doth still provide for such 
 a poor unprofitable creature as me ! — may my heart be 
 filled with grateful songs of praise to the great Master. 
 
 We left Hartford on the morning of the 30th, without 
 knowing whither we went, or when we should find a 
 resting place for the night — but God provided for us, 
 beyond what we could have expected: we met with an 
 old man. and after speaking to him, we found him to be 
 one of those who are striving to walk the narrow happy 
 road — and he told us of a family who he thought would 
 be glad to see Lorenzo : accordingly, we went there, and 
 found it even so — this m called Barkhamstead. They 
 received us with affection, and every attention possible — 
 their names were Francis. Lorenzo held two meetings 
 at a barn, within about a mile from this friend's ; the 
 people were solemn and attentive. There I met two of 
 my uncle's daughters very unexpectedly — they lived in 
 this neighbourhood : tkey appeared glad to see me, this 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 105 
 
 being the first time I had ever seen them since I could 
 recollect. I have had £s little acquaintance with any of 
 my relations as most. This circumstance excited a sen- 
 sation in my heart, that I was almost a stranger to before ; 
 I felt such a drawing towards them ! O that the Lord 
 would give them to feel the necessity of living up to the 
 requirements of the gospel, that we may meet at last on 
 the happy banks of everlasting deliverance ! In the eve- 
 ning we went about five miles further, where Lorenzo 
 preached again. This was the third time he had preach- 
 ed this day — may the Lord strengthen his body and soul^ 
 to cry aloud, and spare not, to sinners to repent. 
 
 Monday morning, August 1st. Lorenzo preaches again 
 this morning at 5 o'clock. O that the Lord would make 
 him more and more useful to his fellow-mortals. I feel 
 this morning a desire to be more engaged with my God I 
 O that my heart might be filled with all the fulness q€ 
 the Spirit, that I may be more willing to take up my 
 cross and help my companion to do good ! Time is 
 short — we are hastening to Eternity ! O that our days 
 may be spent in the service of God, helping souls on to 
 the peaceful mansions of rest. We left brother Coe's 
 this morning, and went on about seven or eight miles ; 
 and our horse was taken sick ; we stopped at a public 
 house, and the people seemed willing to help us to admin- 
 ister some relief. . I felt my mind quite composed, know- 
 ing that he who dealeth out to us, knoweth what is best, 
 and what good may result from it we cannot tell I 
 
 The family was desirous Lorenzo should hold a meet- 
 ing here this evening, and he* hath consented. May the 
 Lord stand by him, and enable him to declare the whole 
 counsel of God, to those that may come out to hear ! 
 May my heart feel more engaged for the salvation of 
 souls ! 
 
 August 3d. What cause of gratitude I have to the 
 God of all mercies, that it is as well with me this mor- 
 ning as it is ! — may my heart be filled with grateful songs 
 of praise for his preservation ! We started from the 
 public house, where our horse was sick, on Tuesday 
 morning the 2nd day of August, Lorenzo having preach- 
 ed the evening before to a small congregation — but quite 
 attentive. I think there were really pious, humble souls I 
 
106 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 but I left there condemned in my own mind, for not 
 taking up my cross — may the Lord forgive me, and enable 
 me to be more obedient in future ! 
 
 We intended to reach Lenox that night, which was 
 about 30 miles : our horse appearing quite well. It was 
 not far from sunrise : the day appeared very gloomy — 
 we travelled on until about 6 o'clock, then we stopped at 
 a tavern and got some refreshment; they made a toler- 
 able heavy charge — we paid it — and Lorenzo gave them 
 two books ; he requested the man to let one of them cir- 
 culate through the neighbourhood, hoping it might prove 
 a blessing to some ! — God grant it lor his mercy's sake ! 
 We continued on our way through a wood, four or five 
 miles ; lying nearly on the Farmington river, over a 
 mountain of considerable height ; the road was very 
 good, and the prospect delightful to me; the river break- 
 ing through the rocks appeared to me very majestic, 
 while the banks were clothed with delightful green. My 
 heart was charmed with the scene. After we got over 
 the mountain, the country seemed more thinly inhabited 
 than any part of Connecticut that I have been in — May 
 the Lord bless the people. We travelled on until between 
 one and two o'clock — then we stopped and gave our horse 
 some food. By this time the clouds began to grow some- 
 what mor.e gloomj^ — but we did not think the storm was 
 so near : — we started — but had not got more than a mile 
 and a half, before the clouds began to discharge their 
 contents at such a dreadful rate, that we were almost 
 blinded with the rain — and no house near that we could 
 retreat to ! At last we came to a place where there was 
 a house over in the lot, and also a barn ; we drove up to 
 the bars, and I got out and ran to the barn ; but there 
 seemed to be no asylum from the impetuous rain: from 
 thence I ran to the house, but no one lived there, so I was 
 compelled to return to the barn — where, by the time 
 Lorenzo had got, with his horse and wagon, and drove 
 them into the barn upon the floor, I was wet through and 
 through. I crept upon the mow, and he reached me my 
 trunk — there I changed my clothes — but he was not so 
 well off, for he was under the necessity of keeping his 
 on. We stayed there until the storm was over — then we 
 made the best of our way to Lenox, where we arrived a 
 
THE WILDERi\ESS. 107 
 
 little before sunset — we got into a friend's house, where 
 vre were treated very kind. Lorenzo appeared to have 
 taken some cold— but we have reason to be thankful that 
 it is no wotse. We have a trying world to pass through : 
 O that the Lord may enable us to keep the prize in view j 
 that our conflicts may prove blessings to our souls, and 
 we at last come off more than conquerors through him 
 that has loved us and given himself for us ! Lorenzo 
 hath had the privilege of preaching in the Court-house 
 twice, and perhajps he may hold meeting there again this 
 evening — may the Lord that can answer by fire, attend 
 the word with power to the hearts of those that hear I 
 O my soul, look up to him that is able to save, for all the 
 strength that is necessary to enable me to bare with 
 patience, whatever may be the will of my heavenly 
 Father to inflict. 
 
 My soul longs to enjoy more of the perfect love of God, 
 that I may in all things say, " not my will, but thine be 
 done !" 
 
 August 4th. TKtough the goodness of the Friend of 
 sinners, I am still alive, and better in health than I could 
 expect, considering my exposure for a few days past. 
 May my heart be grateful to him that supplies all my 
 wants. We left Lenox this morning, and have come to 
 Pittsfield, that is a delightful country, but the same gloom 
 appears to hang over the country as it relates to religion ! 
 O that the cloud would break, and the work of God revive 
 once more ! — may my heart glow with love to God and 
 my fellow s nnei>.: I want to be a true follower of the 
 meek and lowly Jesus ; be prepared for life or death, a 
 living witness of his goodness, and when I am called to 
 bid adieu to this world of woe, that I may leave it in 
 peace ! 
 
 August 5th. How much I am indebted to the rich 
 mercy of a kind Providence, for the many blessings 
 whijn 1 do enjoy — the favour of kiud friends, while a 
 wanderer on earth. We leli Lenox the morning of the 
 4th, and went to the north part of Pittsfieid, to oid friend 
 Wards, where we were received with seeming friend- 
 ship; but my Lorenzo could not get the people noiiiied 
 as he had expected he might have done, when he thought 
 of going tnere at nignt, bui concluded to start from there 
 8* 
 
108 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 early the next morning ; but several people coming in 
 that evening, appeared so anxious that he should preach 
 before he left the place, that he concluded to stay, if they 
 would give notice, which they promised to do, at half 
 past 10 o'clock the following day, and at evening in the 
 centre of the town — it being a day set apart for a fast by 
 the Methodists. Accordingly we repaired at the appoint- 
 ed hour to the meeting house, where a considerable num- 
 ber of people were collected, and Lorenzo spoke to them 
 on the duty o^ fasting from these words, " In those days 
 shall they fast," with a good degree of liberty : the people 
 were very solemn and attentive — may God make it a 
 blessing to some souls. From thence we came to the 
 centre of the town, to a brother Green's, where we were 
 received with great kindness. O that the great Master 
 raay reward those who are willing to receive his wander- 
 ing Pilgrims and make them comfortable with every 
 needed blessing for time and eternity. O that I could 
 always keep the place of Mary at the feet of Jesus ! 
 Lord give me more of the loving spirit which she pos- 
 sessed — that my soul may enjoy the blessings that are 
 laid up for those that are faithful. My Lorenzo is much 
 afflicted of late with his old complaint — may God give 
 him and me grace to say the will of the Lord be done. 
 
 August 6th. My mind is quite depressed this day — 
 the fluctuating scenes of life have too much impression 
 on my heart. O that my Lord would give me grace to 
 bear them with patience ! We are still in Pittsfield ; — 
 the people are kind, but they have their peculiarities, so 
 inquisitive to know the concerns of others! ! — may the 
 Lord help us to look more carefully into our own hearts ; 
 and see that we are right before God ! I need more of 
 the spirit of submission to the will of my Master. 
 
 August 7th. My poor companion hath been very 
 much afflicted yesterday and the last night, with the 
 tooth-ache, in so great a degree, that he could noi attend 
 the appointment the last evening, which gave me some 
 pain, as I knew it would be a disapointment to many. I 
 thought if I could have gone and spoken to the people, if 
 I could have spoke any thing to the edification of souls, 
 it would, I thought, have been a great comfort to my 
 mind. My health is but poor ; may God strengthen my 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 1C9 
 
 body : and above all, may my heart be so filled with love 
 to my fellow sinners, that I may call upon them to close 
 in with the overtures of mercy ! I felt such a desire that 
 Souls might be benefitted, that I could not sleep. O that 
 I may be willing to take up my cross, and if the Lord 
 has any thing for such an unworthy creature as me to 
 do, may I not be so loath to accede to it. I feel many 
 times much distressed on account of my backwardness. 
 O that I maybe a cross-bearer indeed. Lorenzo hath 
 gone to speak to those who will assemble to hear the 
 word, in much weakness of body : may that God who is 
 able to bring strength out of weakness, stand by him, and 
 enable him to declare the whole counsel of God. He 
 labours under many weaknesses, but this I trust is his 
 consolation, that when his work is done, he will receive 
 double for all his pain ! O that I may willingly take my 
 share with him in this vale of woe, that I may share 
 with him in the reward ! May the Lord bless his labours 
 this day. We returned to Pittsfield town in the after- 
 noon, and he preached at 5 o'clock to a crowded congre- 
 gation. They were really attentive — may the Lord seal 
 conviction on their hearts. This was the third time he 
 had spoke that day : he returned to brother Green's where 
 we lodged, and seemed much better than he was in the 
 morning, in the evening there was a number who came 
 in, and he spoke to them again, and it was quite a solemn 
 time; my heart was much drawn out in prayer that the 
 Lord would bless them. 
 
 We expected to have left the place on Monday mor- 
 ning, but the weather proved so unfavourable that it was 
 impracticable : consequently we stayed until Tuesday ; 
 then we left brother Green's and came on to Bennington 
 that night, to a public house ; where Lorenzo got permis- 
 sion to hold meeting in a large ball room ; he hired two 
 little boys to go down into the middle of the town to 
 give notice, and others told some, so that there were per- 
 haps more than one hundred that attended ; they gave very 
 good attention — God grant they may profit by it. On 
 Tuesday, the 9th of August we left Bennington, and 
 came to Cambridge white meeting house ; where we 
 took breakfast. This brought to my recollection former 
 times, when I was a child j the rambles that I have taken 
 
lio vicissitUDEs m 
 
 among my companions through this delightful spot! now 
 those that were my companions, are married, and have 
 large families ; many have gone to the " SILENT 
 TOMB," whither we are all hastening. May the Lord 
 prepare us for that important day. We then started for 
 ray sister's, living near the Batonkiln river; where we 
 arrived a little before night. My sister was much rejoiced 
 to see us, and I was not less happy to meet with a sister 
 whom I had not seen but once in more than twenty 
 years. I found her enjoying a good degree of peace and 
 plenty : a kind husband and a sufficiency of this world's 
 goods; and I trust her face is Zionwarc^! may God help 
 us to keep on our journey until we meet to part no more ! 
 
 Sunday, August 14th. Bless the Lord my soul for the 
 present mercies that I do enjoy : I have been privileged 
 once more of meeting with a kind sister; my heart warms 
 with affection towards her. She appears to be striving to 
 make her way to mount Zion. May the Friend of sin- 
 ners be her guide and support through this vale of tears, 
 and may we meet on the peaceful banks of biest eternity 
 at last, with those of our friends that have arrived there 
 before us. She is blessed with an affectionate friend and 
 companion ; may the Lord make them happy in time and 
 in eternity. 
 
 Lorenzo is very much afflicted with the old complaint, 
 that has followed him almost all his life. This northern 
 clime disagrees greatly with his health, and I know not 
 what vyill be the consequence, if he stays long in this 
 part of the world. My sister wishes me to stay with her 
 for some time, but I cannot feel reconciled to let my com- 
 panion go and leave me behind; and on the whole, I 
 think I had rather go and take my chance with him, until 
 it is the will of our God to part us by his Providence. — 
 May the Lord help us to feel resigned to his will in all 
 things, enable us to keep the prize in view, and be faith- 
 ful to our good God while on earth we stay, and be pre- 
 pared to shout hallelujahs above, among the blood- washed 
 throng, in the paradise of God ! 
 
 Monday, 15th. My Lorenzo preached twice yesterday 
 in this place, and some were offended at his doctrine; 
 this siiows how prejudiced people are in favour of their 
 
THE WILDERNESS. Ill 
 
 own notions : may the Lord help people to discern be- 
 tween truth and error — my heart's desire is to keep the 
 narrow road that leads to joys on high : may the way 
 appear more plain to my understanding, and my heart 
 feel more love to God and man ; we know not what is in 
 store for us, nor how many conflicts we may have to pass 
 through ; may our days be spent in the service of the 
 great Master, so that whether we have pleasure or pain, 
 we may be enabled to say, the will of the Lord be done ! 
 the way of danger we are in, and we need the influence 
 of his grace to speed us on our way. The cloud seems 
 to darken, and what may be the troubles that America 
 may have to encounter we do not know : may that God 
 who is able to deliver nations as well as individuals, 
 undertake our cause, and make it a blessing to the inhabi- 
 tants of this our once happy land ; my soul longs for the 
 Erospcrity of my country, and that precious souls may be 
 rought to the knowledge of the truth, as it is in Christ 
 Jesus the Lord ! O that my heart may feel a greater 
 inward struggle for the welfare of my dear fellow mor- 
 tals : and keep the crown in view myself ! 
 
 Tuesday, August 16th. I am still the spared monu- 
 ment of mercy ; O that my soul may glow with love 
 with gratitude to my great Benefactor, for all his favours 
 to unworthy me. But my cold heart is too little warmed 
 by all these blessings ! O God, give me more of that 
 inward purity of heart, that my life may be like an 
 even spun thread ! — my heart and soul engaged in the 
 work, to help my Lorenzo to cry aloud to poor sinners tQ 
 turn to God, and seek the salvation of their poor souls I 
 
 " Come Lord from above, 
 These mountains remove ; 
 O'erturn all that hinders the course of thy love." 
 
 Wednesday morning, August 17th. We have been 
 one week at my brother-in-law's, and they very kind ; we 
 have taken much satisfaction with my sister and her hus- 
 band ; may their hearts be placed on those riches that 
 are durable and will never fade I I feel my heart too 
 
112 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 little alive to my God. O that I had more of the power 
 of living faith ! 
 
 " The praying spirit breathe, 
 
 The watching pow'r impart r 
 From all entanglement beneath, 
 
 Call off my peaceful heart !" 
 
 August 19th. We left my dear sister's yesterday, with 
 hearts much affected, not knowing whether we should 
 meet again on mortal shores, but hoping if we meet no 
 more below, we may have a happy meeting in that bright 
 world above, where separation will be dreaded no more ! 
 
 We travelled about twenty -three miles, and met with 
 a kind family, where we put up for the night. In the 
 morning, by the time the day broke, we started for the 
 Saratoga Springs, where we were aiming, and arrived 
 there by six o'clock. There Lorenzo met a lady from 
 South Carolina, who had treated him with every attention 
 when at the White Sulphur Springs in Virginia, and also 
 at her own house at Charleston. She still appeard much 
 pleased to meet with him here: she invited him to call 
 upon them at their lodgings, at the Columbian Hotel. 
 Accordingly we did, and were treated with great polite 
 iiess. Lorenzo received an invitation to preach in the 
 afternoon at four o'clock, which he accepted. O may the 
 word come from the heart, and reach the hearts of those 
 ihat hear ; may his labours be blessed to the people in 
 this place !— my soul longs to see the work revive, and 
 souls brought to the knowlege of the truth. We are now 
 at the springs, but which way we shall bend our course 
 when we leave here, I cannot tell. May the Lord direct 
 our steps in that way which will be most for our good and 
 his glory ! 
 
 I am a wanderer upon the earth I may the Lord help 
 me to be resigned to his will in all things — I feel to 
 shrink from the cross at times ; but the desire of my 
 heart is, that I may be a willing follower of the meek 
 and lowly Jesus. My soul's desire and prayer to God is, 
 that the people of America may learn righteousness, and 
 jrut their trust in that God that is able to save. O ! my 
 heart is pained to see so much inattention to the one 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 115 
 
 thing needful, and I also mourn before God for the coid= 
 ness of tny heart! O that I may be stirred up to more 
 diligence in my duty ! 
 
 Saturday, August 20th. The Springs seem to have a 
 salutary effect upon me — may my soul grow with grati- 
 titude to ray great and good Benefactor for all his mer- 
 cies to unworthy me. 1 am under many obligations to 
 him who supplieth all our necessities — may my soul ever 
 feel sensations of love to my precious Redeemer for these 
 unmerited favours, bestowed on such an unprofitable 
 creature as me ! My poor companion is still much afflict- 
 ed with the asthma, which makes him very feeble in 
 body ; but I pray God to strengthen his soid^ and give 
 him wisdom from above to prevail on precious souls to 
 close in with the overtures of mercy ! The Lord help us 
 to wait patiently to see the salvation of God ! 
 
 " The way of danger we are in, 
 Beset by devils, men and sin !" 
 
 But may we view the line drawn by the Friend of sin= 
 ners, and keep there ; so that we may be prepared to pass 
 over Jordan with joy, and everlasting songs of praise to 
 him who conquered death and the grave ; and made it 
 possible for the ruined race of Adam to obtain peace and 
 pardon ! 
 
 Monday, August 22d. Through the tender mercies of 
 a Beneficent Providence I am still alive and out of eter- 
 nity ! O may my soul be bowed down at his footstool — 
 feeling gratitude to that hand who hath preserved and 
 provided for me in this unfriendly world ! I, of all crea- 
 tures, have the most reason to be thankful ; the Lord hath 
 raised me up friends lo supply all my necessities — may 
 the great Master have all the glory. Lorenzo preached 
 at the Springs on Sunday the 20th, to an attentive con- 
 gregation, though made up of various characters, and, 
 some of the first rank — but gentlemen or ladies may be 
 known by their behaviour, meet them where you will. 
 At Milligin's, (living about six or seven miles from the 
 Springs,) he met a large company, but of quite a different 
 cast — they gave him a quiet hearing ! — may the Lord 
 turn curiosity into godly sincerity ; my soul longs to see 
 
114 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 ^ion prosper! A lady rt the Springs had requested us 
 to return in the morning before she should leave there, as 
 she expected to start lor the Bailsrown Springs soon 
 after breakfast. Accordingly, we started very soon in 
 the morning, and arrived about six at the Columbian 
 Hotel—where this lady, Avith one more, had invited us. 
 They appeared very friendly ; they were from South 
 Carolina, by the name of Colden and Harper — the latter 
 made me a present of six dollars: may the Lord reward 
 her as well as others, for their liberality to me ! 
 
 Thursday, August 25th. I am now at Ballstown 
 Springs, whither we came on Tuesday, for the benefit of 
 the water. We have met with a kind family, for which 
 I desire to be truly thankful to that gracious Providence 
 who hath opened the hearts of many to show us kind- 
 ness— Mav he reward them richly in this world, and in 
 the next bestow on them a crown of glory ! Lorenzo 
 hath left me this morning, to fulfil some appointments 
 which have been given out for him — may the great Mas- 
 ter attend him Vvath his grace, and bless his labours to pre- 
 cious souls ! I should rejoice to see the prosperity of Zion I 
 May the Lord prosper his people ! and make them of one 
 heart and of one mind, that they may join together lo 
 build up the cause of God, and not stand in the way of 
 sinners I When that happy day m^U arrive I know not, 
 but whosoever lives to see that period may truly rejoice ! 
 
 We stayed a few days more in this place. There are 
 but few people here, I am afraid, that truly love and serve 
 the Lord ! O that something might take place to bring 
 them to a sense of their danger, and cause them to seek 
 the Lord in good earnest! The way of sin and trans- 
 gression is hard and dangerous ! May the Lord teach 
 me my duty, and enable me to walk in the way of holi- 
 ness, that my last end may be peace 1 The prospect 
 before me is something dark and gloomy at times, while 
 I am tossed to and fro upon the boisterous ocean of life — 
 but the Lord hath been my helper hitherto, and I trust he 
 will save to the end ! My soul needs more grace and 
 Strength to stem the torrent of difficulties and dangers 
 that I have to encounter, but the arm of the Lord is suffi- 
 cient I What is before me I know not — but I hope to put 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 115 
 
 my trust in the Lord, who is able to save, and not say 
 my will, but thine be done ! 
 
 August 27th. My soul is much depressed this mor- 
 ning. I spent the last night at a house, where the woman 
 is a methodist, but the man makes no profession of reli- 
 gion. I felt myself quite embarrassed, as he appeared 
 very unsociable. I have returned to brother Webster's ; 
 they are kind, but have a good many in family. My way 
 appears something difficult, but I pray God to help me to 
 sink into his will ; and in whatever situation I may be 
 brought in, to learn therewith to be content ! O thou 
 Friend of sinners, draw nigh and give me more of the 
 true spirit of Christian love ! 
 
 I pray my God to give my poor companion strength of 
 body and mind, to be useful to souls, that when his work 
 is finished on earth, he may enter into joys on high I O 
 happy, happy day, when the labourer shall receive his 
 reward ! May he be faithful to his God, that he may- 
 have a clear sky, and a glorious prospect of that rich 
 inheritance, which is laid up for those that are faithful to 
 their God I 
 
 " O may my lot be cast with these, 
 The least of Jesus' witnesses" — ^ 
 
 on earth, and at last join the blood-washed throng above! 
 Sunday, August 28th. This is the day that our all- 
 conquering Saviour burst the bands of death, and led cap- 
 tivity captive ; opened the door of mercy to the enslaved 
 sons and daughters of Adam, that they may profit by the 
 rich sacrifice which hath been offered for their redemp- 
 tion ! What matter of sorrow it is, that the offers of such 
 unbounded mercy should be neglected by those who are 
 so deeply interested in it, to prepare them for the day 
 of adversity and death j which must assuredly overtake 
 them, whether they will or not — there is no escape ! 
 moments fly on without control, and will shortly bring 
 us to the place appointed for all living ! O that it may 
 rest with ponderous weight on the hearts of all concerned 
 in it '. And thou^ O my soul ! look well to thyself, that 
 thou mayest meet thy Judge in peace, when he shall 
 come in the clouds of heaven, attended with his glorious 
 9 
 
118 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 relinue of saints and angels, to set in judgment on the 
 descendants of the first man and woman ! who have all 
 had the offers of life and salvation made to them ! It 
 will be a joyful day to those who have improved their 
 time, " and washed their robes and made them white in 
 the blood of the Lamb" — but O what horror will seize 
 the guilty soul that squandered away his precious time, 
 and slighted the overtures of mercy ! who done despite to 
 the Spirit of grace and the Son, who took upon him the 
 form, of a servant, spent many years of toil and pain, and 
 at last gave his life a ransom for our salvation \ O what 
 unbounded mercy ! O unexampled love ! Why are not 
 our souls lost in wonder, love, and praise ! May I ever 
 tremble at his word ! My departure may be at hand — 
 time is short at the longest. O that I may improve my 
 precious moments as they pass, to the glory of my God, 
 and the good of my own immortal soul ! 
 
 My Lorenzo is engaged in blowing the gospel trumpet — 
 may the Lord bless and be with him while absent from 
 me, and at last bring us to meet to part no more in that 
 sweet world of love ! 
 
 August 29th. My companion hath returned this mor- 
 ning. We left the Springs, and came on to Greenfield to 
 Dr. Young's. Lorenzo had an appointment to preach at 
 ten o'clock — the people assembled at the time appointed — 
 Lorenzo was quite feeble in body, but he stood up and 
 gave them a discourse on " the great day of his wrath is 
 come, and who shall be able to stand ?" with a good 
 degree of liberty. I felt my heart somewhat refreshed 
 under the word, and the people appeared very attentive. 
 I think there are some souls in this place who truly love 
 the great Master — may the Lord prosper them on their 
 journey, and preserve them from the evils that are in the 
 world ! 
 
 My Lorenzo left it to others to give out a few appoint- 
 ments, which they had in such a manner that he would 
 be much pinched for time : consequently, he was under 
 the necessity of getting some person for a pilot, and go 
 on horseback ; as that would be a more speedy way of 
 conveyance than his wagon. Accordingly he started, 
 leaving me behind at the doctor's, until he should return. 
 He had to preach that afternoon, and agaia at night j 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 117 
 
 and once or twice, and perhaps three times, the next day. 
 May that God, whom he is striving to serve, strengthen 
 him, soul and body, to cry aloud and spare not, to sinners 
 to repent ! My heart is many times pained on his account : 
 O that I could oftener say, Not my will, but thine be 
 done — that whether our days be many or few, they may 
 all be devoted to God. 
 
 August 30th. The Lord is still gracious to unworthy 
 me, in giving me a good degree of strength of body, and 
 a desire in my soul to make my way through this trying 
 world to a peaceful eternity! O that I may have the 
 whole armour to fight the battles of *-my Master, and 
 through his strength come off victorious ! 
 
 The days are truly evil, and we need much grace to 
 enable us to keep the narrow way, and not lose our guide ; 
 for we are surrounded by enemies on every hand: some, 
 who profess to love the Lord, are watching for EVIL, 
 and not for good : — may they be sensible that it was a 
 command of our blessed Saviour, "to love one another" 
 as he hath loved us! May our hearts overflow with love 
 to God, and our brethren ! My soul longs for more of 
 that spirit, that my heart might melt at human woe ! 
 May my soul feel for my dear fellow sinners, that I may 
 bear them up by faith, to a throne of grace, knowing 
 their souls are in danger, while living without God in the 
 world ! My lot is a peculiar one, may God help me to 
 fill the station that hath fallen to me, with true courage 
 and fortitude. My companion is calling sinners to re- 
 pentance, under many trials and inconveniencies : may 
 the Lord stand by him, and give him power, and wisdom^ 
 from above, to give to every one a portion in due season! 
 Wednesday, August 31st. We have come eight or 
 ten miles this morning ; after Lorenzo had preached at 
 sunrise, to a considerable congregation, with a good 
 degree of liberty : the people were very serious, and 
 many I trust were true lovers of Jesus! In about two 
 days Lorenzo preached seven times ; the last meeting 
 was under the trees by moonlight; the prospect was 
 delightful, he addresseti the people from these words j 
 " Who is she that looketh forth at the morning, fair 
 as the moon, clear as the sun, and terrible as an army 
 with banners," The people were solemn and tender. — 
 
118 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 After this meeting he came to Dr. Young's, where I 
 had been left two days and one night. May the Lord 
 strengthen his body and soul, that he may cry aloud, and 
 spare not for sinners to repent. The times are truly 
 awful, and alarming; may God send the word home with 
 power to the hearts of the impenitent, that they may take 
 the alarm, and fly to the arms of Jesus for shelter, before 
 troubles shall overtake them. 
 
 We have heard a report that the city of Washington 
 is taken by the enemy and burned, but I hope it is not 
 so: be that as it may, we must strive to sink into the 
 will of the Lord! What though the fire, or plague, 
 or sword, receive commission from the Lord to strike 
 his saints among the rest, their very pains and deaths 
 are blest! O that the Lord would prepare them for 
 every event of his providence ! I think I should be will- 
 ing to go to any part of the world, if the Lord would 
 make duti/ plain before us ; the way seems to be intricate 
 at present, although our way hath been opened in a very 
 wonderful manner since we left Virginia. Bless the 
 Lord O my soul! and let all within me join to praise his 
 holy name ! may he guide us in the way he would have 
 us to go, and teach us our duty, and enable us willingly 
 to bear the cross, that we may wear a crown of glory at 
 last. 
 
 If our happy land should be brought into bondage to a 
 foreign foe, the times will be distressing beyond what 
 many imagine. 1 pray God to deliver us from our 
 enemies, if it is consistent with his will; and if we need 
 a scourge, that we may fall into the hands of God, and 
 not man; my heart is pained on the account of my 
 country. 
 
 My companion preached on Thursday, 1st of Septem- 
 ber, three times; first at a Methodist meeting-house in 
 Malta, where we had a sweet and precious time, there 
 were many praying souls present : from thence we came 
 on to a friend's house, where we got some refreshment : 
 we then went to another appointment at a large " steeple 
 house" where he had been requested to preach by some 
 person; but the house was shut when we arrived, and 
 was not opened at all, for what reason I cannot tell ; but 
 expect it was through prejudice; but this did not dis- 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 119 
 
 hearten him, he stood up by the side of the house, and 
 gave them a discourse on "many are called, but few are 
 chosen." The people were attentive in general, except 
 one or two, who thought their craft in danger; they 
 grumbled a little to themselves, but did not make much 
 disturbance : we had a peaceable waiting before the 
 Lord. From thence we came on to Still Water village, 
 where he had another appointment; there he spoke in 
 the open air, to a tolerable congregation, who gave good 
 attention ! there the meeting house was shut also against 
 him. From thence we came on to the Borough, to a 
 brother Even's, where we stayed that night, the next day 
 Lorenzo had an appointment at ten o'clock; my prayer 
 to the Lord was that he would stand by him. We were 
 on our way to the city of New York, and what awaited 
 us there I could not tell, the gloomy clouds seemed 
 gathering over our hemisphere ; our once happy land is 
 involved in a bloody war, and what will be the end of it, 
 we cannot tell ; may the great Master give those that 
 have an interest at the throne of grace, the true spirit of 
 agonizing prayer, to cry mightily to God for deliverance 
 from the thraldom of V(rar ! 
 
 My Lorenzo is drawn to visit a land far distant from 
 that which gave him birth ; may God teach him the way 
 he would have him go ! My desire is, that God would 
 direct our steps, and enable us to do our duty ; that 
 when the storms of life are over, we may sit down in the 
 paradise of God ! 
 
 Friday, Sept. 3d. This day Lorenzo hath preached 
 once at the Borough, to an attentive congregation ; we 
 found kind friends in this place. From thence we came 
 to Waterford, and stopped at friend King's, where we 
 were received with expressions of kindness. They, 
 with one more, requested Lorenzo, to stay over the Sab- 
 bath, which he consented to ; my soul's desire was, that 
 the Lord would stand by his, and make his stay profit- 
 able to souls ! 
 
 My heart was something gloomy, the prospect was 
 dark, the times precarious ; what was before us, I could 
 not tell, and I felt my heart drawn out in prayer to God, 
 that he would help us to walk in the way he would have 
 US to go : aay desire is, that I may be prepared for all the 
 
120 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 troubles and difficulties, that I may have to encounter in 
 this world of woe ! My dear companion in tribulation is 
 quite feeble in body, which gives me much pain. O that 
 I may learn tlie lesson of submission : the time is fast 
 approaching when sorrow will be turned into joy, to those 
 that are faithful to the God of all grace ! O that I may 
 be of that happy number ! 
 
 Lorenzo is preaching in Waterford still; on Friday 
 and on Saturday night, on Sunday morning at sun-rise, 
 and at eight o'clock : the people came out very well, and 
 appeared very solemn, and I trust good was done in the 
 name of the Lord, May the Lord inspire our hearts, to 
 cry mightily to him who is able to save ; for ourselves, 
 and our country ; it lies near my heart, and O that the 
 people may feel interested for its welfare, and lay at the 
 feet of the Master, and humble themselves in the dust, 
 that God may deliver us ! 
 
 September 6th. We came to Lancinburgh, the appoint- 
 ment having been given out the day before ; but Mr. Chi- 
 chester, a local preacher, who had been a principal man 
 in building the meeting-house in that place, forbid his 
 preaching in it ; consequently, the people erected seats by 
 the side of a large brick house, for accommodation beneath 
 its shade, where we had a refreshing time from the pre- 
 sence of the Lord : my heart was grateful that his bless- 
 ings were not confined to any particular place : for if we 
 fly to the desert, behold he is there — in the city or coun- 
 try — sliil the Throne of grace is accessible to the humble 
 soul ! May God ever keep us from pride, and vain-glory^ 
 that we may always keep the intercourse open between 
 our souls and him ! 
 
 From thence we went to Troy, but the same difficulty 
 existed there, the meeting house was shut in this place 
 also ; but he repaired to the market-house, where he soon 
 had a large company, and spoke to them there : many 
 appeared quite serious : may conviction fasten on their 
 hearts ! We had been in Troy about six years before, 
 and then had more friends than we could visit ; but now 
 we were under the necessity of going to a public house to 
 put up for the night : but after Lorenzo had done preach- 
 ing, and we had retired to our lodgings, there was a 
 friend, who we had no previous acquaintance with, came 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 121 
 
 to the tavern wliere we were, and requested us to go and 
 sleep at his house, which, after some hesitation we 
 accepted, but left our horse where he was. 
 
 The different treatment we met with tiow, from what 
 we had receivred in years that were past, made a very 
 great impression on my mind Lorenzo had preached in 
 this same place a number of times about six years pre- 
 vious, and was treated with much kindness by the Me- 
 thodists ; but now they. were very distant. 
 
 We left Troy about eight o'clock on Monday morning, 
 and travelled more than forty miles that day, and stayed 
 at a public house at night. We started early in the mor- 
 ning, and came about seven miles, to a house of enter- 
 tainment, where we stopped for breakfast. There Lorenzo 
 missed his pocket-book — he left it under his pillow — it 
 had bank notes of considerable amount in it : he took the 
 horse, borrowed a saddle, rode back and found it, which 
 was matter of thankfulness to us. After taking breakfast, 
 we started and came on to Rhinebeck Flats, but made no 
 stop ; from thence to the ferry. We had to cross in a 
 sail boat, and the wind blew quite hard, so that it appear- 
 ed considerably gloomy to me ; but Ave got over very well. 
 We wished to get to Sopus, or rather Kingston, which 
 was about three miles from the ferry, before we stopped. 
 We came on, and the first thing we saw when the town 
 appeared in view, was a numerous concourse of people 
 assembled together, to see the soldiers take their departure 
 for the city of New York, to defend it, if necessary from 
 the enemy. This filled my heart with pain and sorrow, 
 when I considered they were liable to fall in the contest, 
 and leave perhaps a wife and children unprotected ; and 
 if not a wife and children, they had parents whose hearts 
 were bleeding at the prospect — May God deliver us in 
 his own good lime. 
 
 We were received by brother and sister Covel with 
 friendship : may the Lord reward them in this world with 
 every temporal blessing necessar^r, and crown them at 
 last with a crown of glory! It gives me fresh courage 
 when I meet with those who love and serve the Lord, 
 for we find such to be kind and aflectionate to all. 
 
 The times are truly awful ! — may the Lord stand by 
 his followers, and help them to lay at his feet, that they 
 
122 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 may be prepared for the gathering storm — my God, give 
 me more grace to hang my soul on Thee ! I know what 
 I have passed through, but what is to come I cannot tell: 
 but if God be for us, who can be against us ? O that we 
 may so live, that we may be prepared for the worst. 
 
 Since we left our father's, we have travelled several 
 hundred miles, through a delightful country, flowing as 
 it were, " with milk and honey" — plenty abounds on 
 every hand — nothing is lacking but a grateful sense from 
 whence these mercies flow. May God inspire the hearts 
 of the people "with a due sense of their privileges, both 
 of a spiritual and temporal nature, which they do enjoy ; 
 and may they esteem them as they ought, that they may 
 be saved from destruction ! 
 
 We stayed two nights and part of three days at friend 
 Covel's ; and Lorenzo had two meetings in the town, in 
 a court-house, to a crowded audience ; and they were as 
 attentive as could be expected, considering what a thought- 
 less place it w^as — may God have mercy Upon them ! 
 
 We left friend Covel's on Thursday, September 5tb, 
 and travelled on until night, and stopped at a public 
 house : from thence we came on towards Newburgh, and 
 about ten o'clock we came to a brother Fowler's, and 
 called ; but he not being at home, and the family not 
 choosing to give us an invitation to stop, we kept on to 
 Newburgh. We had been directed to call at a friend's 
 house, by the name of Cowles, but could not find him. 
 We then continued on our way, intending the first public 
 house we came to, to stop, and get some refreshment ; but 
 In passing a toll bridge, the old man who attended it 
 knew Lorenzo, and solicited him so earnestly to stop and 
 take breakfast, that he consented. They appeared much 
 pleased and entertained us as well as we could wish : it 
 was done with such cheerfulness, that it made it a plea- 
 pant repast to us indeed. O that people who have it in 
 their power to do good in the world, would be more 
 Jiberaf, and not let the POOR out do them, and so take 
 their crown !-r— May God have mercy on the high and 
 ' lofty ones of the earth, and teach them they are born to 
 ilie. and perhaps their dust will mingle with the beggars'! 
 and if they are not yurified by grace^ their souls will 
 appear guilty before GckI! aud how can they stand in 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 123 
 
 that great day, when the dread alarm shall be sounded — 
 arise ye dead and come to judgment I My God make us 
 all sensible of the necessity of being ready to meet our 
 judge in the airi 
 
 From the toll bridge we came on to a public house, and 
 stopped to feed our horse ; and while he was eating, there 
 was a woman, who we had met in a wagon a little before 
 we got to this house, who thinking this was Lorenzo, had 
 returned back to this house, and requested him to stop 
 and preach to the people in this neighbourhood : the 
 tavern-keeper also solicited him, saying he would notify 
 the nighbours. Lorenzo then consented to stay ; and we 
 went about a mile further, to sleep at a house where they 
 were Methodists, The place where Ave went to was a 
 delightful spot, situated in a valley, between two consi- 
 derable mountains, covered with shrubs and trees, but not 
 yery fertile, which made the contrast more striking. The 
 house was surrounded with meadows and fruit trees--- 
 the scene appeared charming beyond description 1 This 
 would be a sweet retreat, was suggested to my mind ; if 
 we had but a few select friends, whose souls were formed 
 for social pleasure, as it relates to spiritual and temporal 
 converse! 
 
 But stop, my fancy I stay thy soul on God, who can 
 give peace even on the raging ocean. To him, and him 
 alone would I look tor comfort, and not to objects which 
 are so transient: my lot appears to be in a peculiar sphere, 
 and I hope in love and mercy the Master will enable me 
 to fill it with patience and submission. 
 
 We left Cornwall on Saturday morning, and proceeded 
 on our way toward the city of New York : we made such 
 progress, that we got within fifteen or sixteen miles of 
 the city that night, and put^p at a public house ; where 
 we were much disturbed by some town's people, who, I 
 believe, did it on purpose, on the account of our appear- 
 ance- O that thev may be made sensible of the duty 
 they owe to THEMSJELVES, their GOD, and their 
 NEIGHBOURS ! 
 
 We started earlv on Sunday morning, and got to a 
 brother Paradise's,' at Bull's Ferry, where we left our 
 horse and wagon — Lorenzo hired a Presbyterian man to 
 keep him : and brother Paradise took a small boat and 
 
124 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 rowed us down to the city. My mind was overspread 
 with a gloom, but I strove to put my trust in the Lord — 
 we had a pleasant time on the water — we got down to 
 New York about two o'clock, and -went to our old friend 
 brother Munson's, and was received with the same marks 
 of friendship as formerly — may the Lord reward them 
 for their kindness to us. Our situation is as good at pre- 
 sent as it has ever been, as it relates to our temporal 
 'pro»pect»j but no doubt trials await os still : may the 
 Lord prepare us for whatever may befal us in the way of 
 duty ! I have met with another kind family, who I am 
 under many obligation's to in days that are past: they 
 still are friends — this is not the case with many — brother 
 and sister Decamp are true-hearted f may the Lord pros- 
 per them on their journey to a peaceful eternity I 
 
 The cloud appears to spread over the American hemi- 
 sphere — may God prepare his children for the shock : 
 what though the fire, or plague, or sword, receive com- 
 mission from the Lord to strike his saints amcng the rest, 
 Xheir pains and deaths are blest I 
 
 Monday, September 12£b. I have this day felt my 
 jheart so-mewhat more composed than I have done for 
 some time. 
 
 September 13th. This day we have received more 
 intelligence of the invasion of our once happy land. O 
 that the Lord would prepare us for every event of his 
 providence ! 
 
 September 14th. I desire to be truly thankful to the 
 great Giver of every mercy, for the blessings ! do enjoy 
 this preeioijs morning; I enjoy a tolerable degree of 
 health, and am surrounded with kind friends. O that my 
 soul may be filled with grateful songs of praise to him, 
 who so richly provides for \#ie ! my situation is as plea- 
 sant as it has ever S>een, perhaps for many years^ 
 
 " Bless God, my soul, even unto deatfe, 
 ** And write a song for every breath." 
 
 September 15th. May my heart be made truly sensible 
 of my dependence upon God, who giveth to every one 
 liberally, that seek him with an undivided heart: but 1 
 feel this morning, as though my heart v/as too far from 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 125 
 
 that enjoyment which makes happy in this world, and in 
 the next. May my heart be revived, and filled with love 
 to God, and my fellow mortals. Religion is low at this 
 time, in almost every direction ; may our hearts feel 
 interested for the prosperity of the church ! 
 
 The times are truly alarming^ the sound of WAR is 
 heard in our borders, the alarm is gone forth — " Ye sons 
 of Columbia, to arms, to arms." Our sea-boards are 
 likely to be deluged in blood. While our interior is in 
 commotion, our frontiers have been saluted by the war- 
 whoop of the savage; while their tender wives and children 
 have fallen victims to their wanton cruelty ; may HE 
 that rules on high, that can calm the raging ocean, and 
 bring harmony out of confusion, undertake our cause, 
 and deliver us from the hand of our enemy, and establish 
 peace once more on the earth I But this may only be the 
 beginning of sorrow to the inhabitants of this terrestrial 
 ball. O that all who have an interest at the throne of 
 Grace, would cry mightily to him for strength, to stand 
 in this day of adversity. Lord prepare us to make our 
 way through all opposition, to the peaceful happy man- 
 sions of unclouded day. O happy, happy land, when 
 shall we get there — my God wash out the stains that sin 
 has made on my immortal soul, that I may have a glorious 
 admittance into those pure regions of everlasting rest 
 Trials await me on these mortal shores : may the God 
 of love attend us by his grace, and give us true submis- 
 sion to his will ! May my soul be filled with love and 
 gratitude, to that hand, \yho hath provided for me, from 
 my cradle^ to the present time. How much I owe, yet 
 how little I do as 1 ought. O my soul awake ! awake I to 
 a sense of duty to the God of all consolation, that my 
 soul may be filled with all his fulness. 
 
 September 16th. Nothing material has taken place in 
 my situation for some days, but a continual clamour of 
 WAR is saluting our ears, and what will be the final 
 issue, doth not yet appear : may we be prepared for what- 
 ever may await us : my soul is truly pained on account 
 of my country. O that God would undertake the cause 
 of America ; that the people may learn humility^ and 
 submission, to his divine will ! 
 
 My mind v:as much depressed this morning, when I 
 
126 VICISSITUDES IN- 
 
 arose, but these words came to my mind, "Be still, and 
 know that I am God," with some power ; may my heart 
 acquiesce in whatever may be our lot. 
 
 We have just heard the joyful tidings, that our dear 
 fellow citizens of the town of Baltimore, are delivered 
 from their troublesome visiters. O that their hearts may 
 be thankful to that hand, who was able to save, when 
 appearances were most gloomy ; help us, O thou God of 
 love, to render thee sincere thanks for these mercies ; and 
 may America, above all lands, be conformed to the will 
 of him, who hath wrought out such a deliverance for this 
 favoured country ! may my heart glow with thankfulness 
 to such a good God, and may the remnant of my days be 
 spent in his service. 
 
 Sunday, September 18th. This day my soul hath 
 been refreshed under the improvement of brother Daniel 
 Smith ; while discoursing on the wickedness of the Jews, 
 the once chosen people of God, in destroying that most 
 worthy servant of God, Stephen; his triumphant death, 
 and ascension to glory. It filled my soul with raptures, 
 I had something of a view, of the suffering Christian, 
 bidding adieu to a world of woe, transported by a convoy 
 of angels, to his Redeemer's bosom 1 O what a glorious 
 scene ! may that be my happy lot, though unworthy ! 
 
 September' 19th. My heart feels quite gloomy this day. 
 
 that these trials might teach me from whence my 
 strength must come ! I cannot tell what is before me ; 
 may God prepare and help me to hang upon his promises, 
 and lay at the feet of the Redeemer of mankind. I long 
 to be more holy, that my heart may be drawn from earth, 
 and placed on more permanent riches. Through grace 
 
 1 hope one day to out-ride the tempest and storms of life, 
 and reach the fair fields of unclouded day. May God 
 revive his work in the land, and prosper ZION, and fill 
 his church with faithful Christians ! 
 
 September 21st. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and for- 
 get not all his benefits. The days are evil, we have 
 need of more wisdom and humility, to walk the narrow 
 road that leads to joys on high ! What a vain, deceitful 
 world we have to travel through : How many snares on 
 every side ; may we be as wise as serpeiits, and harmless 
 as doves. 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 127 
 
 Friday, September 23d. The days are rolling fast 
 away: may I have wisdom and grace, to improve ray 
 time to the glory of ray Creator and the comfort and 
 satisfaction of my own imraortal soul ! My heart is 
 often painvid to see and feel so little of the life of religion, 
 in almost every direction : may the Lord once more 
 revive his work in the land ! 
 
 Since 1 came to the city, my husband and self, took a 
 walk to the " State's Prison," which was a very great 
 satisfaction to me. We gave one shilling for admittance, 
 and had the privilege of going through every apariment 
 in the prison: and to see the neatness, and industry, that 
 prevails tliere, was truly charming. This institution, is 
 one of the most noble, perhaps that ever was adopted by 
 any nation: it saves many of those poor unfortunate 
 creatures, who hdiVe forfeited their life, and liberty, from 
 suifering death ; and gives them a space for repentance : 
 and furthermore, their labour is very useful to the com- 
 munity. The 7/i<?yt-were very serious, and appeared quite 
 downcast ; but the icomen, that have been so unfortunate, 
 as to get into this place, appear the most hardened crea- 
 tures I ever saw. This is a striking proof, to what human 
 nature may be reduced! There is a large square in the 
 centre of the Prison, where they may range for health, at 
 times. A man may love and serve the Lord in this 
 place, as well as in any other, if he be so minded, and it 
 may be, some of these poor mortals will be brought to 
 reflection. The happy day is fast approacliing, I trust, 
 when LIGHT will shine forth, as the morning, and peace 
 will be established upon the earth. 
 
 From the eleventh of September to the seventh of 
 October, Lorenzo spent in New York: then he took his 
 departure for Philadelphia, expecting to return in six or 
 eight weeks; but, when he arrived there, he found his 
 way opened in the city and country, so that he thought 
 best to send for me to come to Philadelphia, where he 
 had concluded to spend the winter. Accordingly I start- 
 ed without delay, in a carriage which was sent for rae, 
 and arrived in safety in about three days. I was kindly 
 received by friend Allen and his wife; where I tarried 
 until the return of Lorenzo from the Eastern Shore ; 
 whither he had taken a tour two or three weeks previous. 
 10 
 
128 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 When he came back, he wished to find a small room, 
 where we could be retired from the world for a few 
 months; and we were so fortunate as to meet with a 
 friend, (who had plenty of house room, and was willing 
 to accommodate us with a small room; which was made 
 very comfortable by putting up a stove in it,) in a neigh- 
 bourhood of the people called Q,uakers ; where we found 
 it very agreeable. I attended their meetings with much 
 satisfaction : I believe many, very many of those people 
 to be truly spiritual ! The friend and his wife, at whose 
 house we stopped, belonged to the meeting, and they both 
 appeared striving to be what they ought — May the Master 
 prosper them in the way of their duty. 
 
 February 27th, 1815. The news of PEACE salutes 
 our borders, and echoes through the land ! It is a truly 
 pleasing sound ! May it inspire our hearts with gratitude 
 to that hand who hath given us the blessing ! O that 
 divine peace may fill every soul, until this favoured 
 nation shall become Immanuel's land, and the earth be 
 full of his glory ! 
 
 Quietness, as a Canopy covers my Mind. 
 
 " GREAT God, thy name be blest, 
 
 Thy goodness be ador'd, 
 My soul has been distress'd 
 
 But thou hast peace restor'd. 
 
 "A thankful heart I feel, 
 
 In peace my mind is staid, 
 Balsamic ointments heal 
 
 The wounds by sorrow made. 
 
 "Though elements contend, 
 
 Though wind and waters rage, 
 Fve an unshaken Friend, 
 
 Who doth my grief assuage, 
 
 " Though storms without arise, 
 Emblems of those within, 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 129 
 
 On Christ my soul relies, 
 The sacrifice for sin. 
 
 '' Though inward storms prevail, 
 
 Afflicting to endure, 
 I've help that cannot fail, 
 
 In Him that's ever sure. 
 
 " Though outward war and strife 
 
 Prevail from sea to sea, 
 I've peace in inward life, 
 
 And that sufficeth me. 
 
 ** Though clamour rear its head, 
 
 And stalk from shore to shore, 
 My food is angels' bread, 
 
 What can I covet more ? 
 
 " Though ill reports abound, 
 
 Suspicions and surmise, 
 I find, and ofl have found, 
 
 In death true comfort lies : 
 
 " That death I mean whereby 
 
 Self-Jove and will are slain; 
 For these, the more they die 
 
 The more the Lamb dath reign. 
 
 =*' And well assur'd I am 
 
 True peace is only known 
 Where He, the harmless Lamb, 
 
 Has made the heart his throne^ 
 
 •*' Thea, then rnay tempests rage^ 
 
 Cannon may roar in vain ; 
 The Rock of every agCj 
 
 The Lamb, the Lamif doth reign,/ 
 
130 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 May 8lh, 1815. We left Philadelphia in the steam 
 boat, for New York, after spending an agreeable winter 
 at Benedict Dorseys. The weather being very chilly 
 and my health somewhat impaired by reason of a severe 
 cold I had taken some time previous, and this ex- 
 posure which I passed through, came very near being 
 too much for my feeble constitution. After we arrived 
 at New York I was confined almost two weeks to my 
 bed — but recovering my strength in some measure, we 
 embarked on board a Packet for New London, where we 
 had every accommodation necessary — and after a plea- 
 sant sail of about thirty hours, we arrived safely and 
 found the people kind and friendly. But the cold I had 
 taken was so deeply seated on my lungs, it was thought 
 by many, it would prove serious in its consequence to 
 me. We arrived here on Saturday — on Sunday, Lorenzo 
 preached four times to crowded congregations, and several 
 times through the week, until he was sick ; he was attacked 
 very suddenly as he was about to lay down at night, with 
 a pain at his heart attended with chills. We were then 
 at his brother's — we were all much alarmed, thinking 
 perhaps his dissolution was at hand — yet lie appeared 
 composed and serene, with a smile on his countenance 
 although his pain was beyond description ! My soul was 
 poured out to God for his deliverance — after a while he 
 got so much relief that he could be layed down in his 
 bed — but continued very ill for near two weeks ; he then 
 had recovered so far as to be able to go on board a boat for 
 Norwich, where we arrived in five or six hours. 
 
 We were received with kindness by brother Bentley 
 and his companion. Lorenzo was still very feeble in 
 body — but the people appearing very anxious he should 
 preach, he consented, and at six o'clock that evening, the 
 Baptist meeting-house was opened and well filled : he 
 addressed them — his strength held out beyond what could 
 have been expected. He spoke again on Monday night ; 
 it was a solemn assembly, and I hope good was done in 
 the name of the Lord. 
 
 Lorenzo hired a wagon and horse to convey us to his 
 father's, which was betwixt twenty and thirty miles. — 
 Early on Tuesday morning we started and arrived there 
 about one o'clock on the 14th of June. We found his 
 dear father in tolerable health, with the rest of the family. 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 131 
 
 Lorenzo spent two weeks with us, and then thinking it 
 best to leave me witli his father, bid me farewell and 
 set out on a tour through a part of Rhode Island, and 
 Massachusetts to sound an alarm to the fallen race of 
 Adam in those parts. My heart went with him, in desire 
 that he might be useful to precious souls. 
 
 His father's place of residence is very pleasant, I spent 
 my hours as agreeably as the circumstances could admit, 
 seeing I was separated from my companion, and had not 
 the opportunity of meeting — there being none within my 
 reach, except the Presbyterian, and that not very conve- 
 niei-.t. He thought he might be absent three or four 
 months, but returned in five or six weeks, unexpectedly 
 to me, and spent a few weeks with us — made prepara- 
 itons to leave me with his father, and start on a long tour 
 which would take him eight or nine months to accom- 
 plish. This was something trying to my feelings — but I 
 dare not say, do not go^ neither do I feel a disposition to 
 prevent him doing his duty. 
 
 On the 30th of August he had got in readiness and bid 
 me adieu — leaving me comfortably provided for, as it 
 relates to outward things. The family consisted of his 
 father, sister, and myself; the old gentleman an affection- 
 ate friend and father. We spent our time for the most 
 part quite comfortably : considering thi3 cold inclement 
 season, my health was far better than it had been for 
 years. I frequently received letters from my absent com- 
 panion, which gave me much satisfaction ; this being the 
 only way we could communicate our pleasures or pains 
 to each other. He gave me to understand he expected 
 to return to us in April or May. The last letter I received 
 from him, was dated March 30th, expected to sail from 
 New Orleans to New York the first of April; and by his 
 writing, it appeared to me, there was a doubt whether he 
 should be brought through in safety — or at least he ex- 
 pected some uncommon difficulty to attend him ; which 
 laid me under great anxiety of mind ; the season also 
 being so uncommonly blustering, that I, from the first of 
 April until the middle of May, was in a state of mind 
 not to be expressed. This gave my body another shock — 
 for the mind and body are so closely connected, one can- 
 not suffer, without the other in some considerable degrea 
 10* 
 
132 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 feeling affected. I strove hard to apply to HIM who is 
 able to save, and at times found some relief; but then 
 my thoughts would retrace the happy seasons which 
 were past ; and the gloomy prospects that now presented 
 to view, made me very wietched. I strove to realize the 
 day, the happy blessed day, when we should meet to part 
 no more ; but could not so much as 1 could wish ; this 
 gave me greater pain, seeing my heart so attached to 
 earthly objects. Yet under all this, in some measure I 
 was supported ; for which may my heart render a tribute 
 of praise to the great Giver of all our mercies ! 
 
 About the 15th of May, I received the pleasing intelli- 
 gence that Lorenzo had arrived at New York, which 
 removed a heavy burthen from my heart, and the 25th he 
 reached his father's. I need not say it was a memorable 
 day to me — may I ever feel true sensations of gratitude 
 for all these favours ! — and improve them while they are 
 preserved to me ! My soul's desire is, to find closer com- 
 munion with my God ; may my soul sink in his will in 
 all things I 
 
 After Lorenzo's return, he prepared to steCT his course 
 first to Philadelphia, then into the state of New York — 
 from thence to Vermoat ; and wishing me to go with him, 
 he procured a horse and wagon, and on the 12th of June 
 we left his father's house, it being twelve months, lack- 
 ing two days, since I came there ; we went from there to 
 Hebron, where we stayed a few days — met some prea- 
 chers from the General Conference; they were friendly 
 towards Lorenzo — from thence we came on to Durham, 
 where we spent the sabbath. Lorenzo preached three 
 times; on Monday morning we left there and proceeded 
 on to New Haven — ther*^ we met with more preachers 
 and kind friends : here we stayed until Friday. Lorenzo 
 held a number of meetings in the time. From there we 
 came to New York — spent the sabbath, and he also held 
 three meetings there in the course of the day. I met 
 with old friends Captain Anderson and his wife, who 
 gave me a pressing invitation to go home with them that 
 evening. Lorenzo was willing, and I accepted the invi- 
 tation ; he was to come over the next morning. Accord- 
 ingly I went and spent an agreeable evening, and about 
 one o'clock the next day, Lorenzo came — but I was quite 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 133 
 
 unwell ; the weather having become much warmer, it so 
 debilitated me, that Lorenzo feared lest I could not hold 
 out to travel — and Captain Anderson and his wife wish- 
 ing me to tarry with them, I concluded to stay ; accord- 
 ingly on Tuesday morning, Lorenzo set off on his way to 
 Philadelphia, leaving me behind ; he came on that night 
 to Bridgetown, where he preached j and finding such an 
 opening, he spent two or three days in the place. The 
 friends requested him to send for me to come there : 
 accordingly brother Thomas Pitts came on to New York, 
 got brother Washburne to write a few lines to me — I 
 came over from Hoboken and met him at brother Wash- 
 burne's ; the next day we were to go on board the steam- 
 boat. I did not expect Lorenzo so soon ; but when we 
 came to the ferry-house, and the boat come in, Lorenzo 
 was on board : he intended returning that night or the 
 next day to Bridgetown, consequently I went on ; and he 
 returned that night. We have spent some lime in this 
 
 Elace ; and find the people remarkably kind — may they 
 e rewarded for their kindness to us. My soul's desire to 
 God is, that HE would reward our kind benefactors 
 wherever they be. 
 
 Visited Woodbridge — had meeting in the meeting 
 house of the Presbyterians, and returned to Bridgetown 
 and held several otner meetings. 
 
 July 26, 1816.— We left " Bridgetown," N. Jersey, and 
 came on to Newark, where he found he had an appoint- 
 ment about seven miles distant from there, in the after- 
 noon, leaving an appointment for night at Newark ; he 
 started to fulfil it ; he returned and preached to aorowded 
 auditory ; and made three more for the next day, which 
 he attended. On Thursday he started from Newark, 
 giving out that he would be there again on Friday night 
 — I stayed at Newark through the interim ; accordingly, 
 he returned, and preached to a large congregation. Early 
 on Saturday morning we left Newark, and proceeded on 
 our way to an appointment Lorenzo had left the day he 
 had preached at brother Dickenson's, to be in the woods, 
 not far from his house ; at ten o'clock there was convened 
 under the trees a tolerable company of attentive people ; 
 from thence we went to New Providence, where Lorenzo 
 preached again at night, this being Saturday night. On 
 
134 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 Sunday morning at five o'clock, and he preached again at 
 ten, a meeting he attended six or eight miles from there, 
 and returned — preached at three ; from there to Chatham 
 in the evening; the next day returned to New Provi- 
 dence, and preached at ten, «hen back to Chatham, 
 preached at three ; from there five or six miles, and at 
 night held in a barn, which was much crowded, and the 
 <3ay following meeting in the woods, a few miles off"— 
 from thence to Morris Town — held a meeting in a Bap- 
 tist meeting-house, some behaved well, others were some- 
 what unfeeling. We met with a man who invited us to 
 go and stay with him for the night, we accepted the invi- 
 tation, found them kind and affectionate. I spent a very 
 agreeable time — from thence we went to brother Munn's, 
 had a meeting at night, at a house about a mile and a half 
 distant ; the next day we went on to an appointment at 
 an old man's, whose house had been a preaching-hcuse 
 for twenty or thirty years. Here the congregation was 
 small, but a tolerable time — from here we travelled on a 
 number of miles through a rough road, to a man's house, 
 who had given out an appointment for the evening; — 
 There came out a goodly number, to whom he spoke ; 
 they were attc%itive. Early the next motning we pro- 
 ceeded on our journey, and struck turnpike, through 
 Pumpton plains, so on across the country, until we struck 
 a long turnpike ; we met with no friends after this until 
 we came to Kingston — this was sabbath morning, we 
 had to stay at public houses, which was very unpleasant, 
 for several nights previous ; from Kingston we -continued 
 on to Catskill, where we found some friends, who loved 
 much in word and in tongue; we stayed there from 
 Sunday night until Tuesday morning, in the mean time 
 Lorenzo held several meetings ; from thence we went on 
 to Guemans Landing, met with a very kind family, the 
 man is Post-Master in that place ; he pressed Lorenzo to 
 stay and preach in the evening, accordingly we stopped, 
 had a solemn meeting before the Lord, and were treated 
 Avith every attention by our kind host and his wife, that 
 we could wish. On Wednesday morning we continued 
 our journey to Albany ; here, in years past, we had some 
 kind friends, but now otherwise. We got into the city 
 about twelve o'clock, and stopped at a public house, 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 135 
 
 while Lorenzo attended to some temporal concerns ; I 
 had some refreshment prepared. In the mean time Lo- 
 renzo met a young man from Schenectady, who invited 
 him to preach there that evening; he readily consented, 
 and after dinner we started, and arrived, perhaps, the sun 
 an hour high, we were invited to stay at a public house, 
 on free cost, by the man ; I thought the woman was not 
 well pleased ; be that as it may we stayed ; I was so 
 fatigued I did not go to meeting, but understood it was a 
 solemn time. 
 
 On Thursday morning, before the sun was up, we 
 started, and came on betwixt forty and fifty miles — stayed 
 at a Dutch tavern ; found no particular trouble — started 
 very early — came on to the Falls, there Lorenzo left an 
 appointment for Monday night, on his return ; — so on to 
 Harcemer, where he left another for Sunday, at four 
 o'clock ; and also at Utica, where we tarried at night, and 
 he preached. From thence to brother Holms', and took 
 dinner — from there to brother Dewey's, but not finding 
 him at home, we went on to Manely's-square, where we 
 met with him at night. This being Saturday, we stayed 
 over the Sabbath ; Lorenzo met with some severe trials : 
 my heart was almost filled with sorrow, the prospect 
 appeared so gloomy ; but the way was opened for him to 
 preach, more than he was well able : three times at the 
 square, and once at Pompey's Hollow, to pretty consi- 
 derable congregations ; the weather being extremely 
 warm. 
 
 On Monday, we returned with brother D. to his place 
 of residence, where Lorenzo has preached three times, 
 and to preach once or twice more. 
 
 My mind hath passed through singular and deep trials 
 of late ; what is the cause I knoAv not, but I pray God to 
 give me the power to withstand the enemy of my soul, 
 and enable me to be a comfort to my companion, and a 
 blessing to myself and others. 
 
 Friday, August 23d .s— We left Vernon and came here 
 tlje last night — Lorenzo preached at a large meeting- 
 house, built by the public; but the Presbyterians have 
 the preference — may the Lord grant the seed to take deep 
 root, and bring forth fruit to the glory of God. 
 
 This morning my heart longs to sink into the will of 
 
136 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 God — may he show me the evils of my heart, and all its 
 intricate windings ; that I may seek and find full deliver- 
 ance from all my sins. 
 
 On Saturday the 24th, we left Vernon. Lorenzo had 
 preached a number of times to crowded congregations. — 
 We came to Utica, and attended a meeting at night in 
 the Methodist meeting-house, which was very much 
 crowded ; also at sun-rise, the" house being likewise com- 
 pletely filled ; at ten o'clock again, but the house would 
 not hold one quarter of the people— he was under the 
 necessity of speaking in the open air. After he had done 
 speaking, they came around the wagon to bid us farewell. 
 I found a number of my old class-mates, all in tears, and 
 appeared to be on their journey home — this gave me 
 much satisfaction — we hardly could tear ourselves from 
 them — we had a melting time. From thence to Harken- 
 more, where he had an appointment at four o'clock on 
 Sunday afternoon ; here the Presbyterian meeting-house 
 was opened, and well filled : he spoke there again at 
 night, and at sunrise — they were very attentive. From 
 thence to the little Fall, where he spoke three times more, 
 afternoon, night, and morning, to many people ; a large 
 field is open through this country — May God bless the 
 hungry people. 
 
 Somewhere towards the last of September, Lorenzo 
 left me, and started for Philadelphia, to attend to some 
 printing, which he had engaged in that place ; expecting 
 in a few weeks to have it accomplished so as to start for 
 the Western Country, to supply some subscribers, but 
 was disappointed, and detained, until it was so late, that 
 the winter would be far advanced, before he could reach 
 the further end of his route, — and feeling some uncommon 
 impressions on his mind — he concluded to return to New 
 England — but on the second day after he left the city, he 
 was attacked with a fever; and had he not fallen into one 
 of the kindest families, I have but little reason to think I 
 should ever have met him again on mortal shores ! 
 
 He wrote to me to come to him, if possible ; and some- 
 thing of his situation. I set out, and got as far as 
 Hebron, but my way was completely hedged in on every 
 hand — the weather becoming so severe, it was thought 
 imprudent for me to attempt to proceed further! My 
 
/ THE WILDERNESS. 137 
 
 mind was in the most distressing state of anxiety, for 
 better than three weeks, I ever experienced. I felt myself 
 a poor lonely creature — but strove to put my trust in that 
 God who was able to save ; accordingly he was better 
 than my fears — for my poor companion was again return- 
 ed to me, for which my heart leaped for joy. O my heart, 
 may it be truly grateful to our bountiful Benefactor, and 
 lay at his feet in humble prostration. 
 
 He is still in a poor state of health, and many diffi- 
 culties in the way : He who hath hitherto helped, I trust, 
 will still be our support. The weather is very severe, 
 and is much against Lorenzo's health, yet Providence 
 seems to give him strength according to his day. 
 
 I had some conflicts in my mind, on the account of 
 what we should do for some necessaries, but the Lord 
 hath provided bountifully ; yesterday our ,kind friend, 
 brother Burrows, and his son-in-law, came and supplied 
 us with all we have need of for the present ; may the 
 God of all grace bless them, for their kindness to us. 
 
 Feb. 18th. — I this day passed through some trials of 
 mind, which are not new to me ; O that my God would 
 undertake my cause, and deliver me from the power of 
 my enemy, that I may shout Victory over my beset- 
 ments; be prepared for life or death ; O how hard I find 
 it to keep my mind in the frame I could wish. Help 
 Lord, to whom for help I fly ! Still my tempted soul 
 stand by, throughout the evil day ! 
 
 Sunday, March 2d, 1817. — My poor Lorenzo is very 
 unWell, still. The last night he was much distressed 
 with a strange kind of complaint, which affected him 
 from head to foot with spasms, and a restlessness, which 
 gave me much uneasiness ; what is before us we know 
 not, may our master help us to sink into his will in all 
 things, and lead us in the way of truth and holiness, pre- 
 pare us for whatever may await us, whether life or death, 
 prosperity or adversity. Lord, we are weak, be thou 
 our strength, teach us our duty, and enable us to pursue 
 it with diligence. 
 
 I kave felt some impressions on my mind of late, 
 which I cannot account for ; what is before me I know 
 not ; may our souls drink deeper into the spirit of submis- 
 sion, and love to our God ; my soul longs to lie at his feet. 
 
138 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 Tuesday, March 4. — The days fly fast away when my 
 dear Lorenzo must depart, and probably leave me behind ; 
 may my soul fly to him who can give grace and strength, to 
 leave all to him, and sink into noihing at his feet, he 
 hath been my supporter througli a late trying scene, and 
 I trust he will save to the end. 
 
 O that I could sing — 
 
 Through every period of my life 
 
 Thy goodness I'll pursue, 
 And afrer death in distant worlds, 
 
 The pleasing theme renew. 
 
 On March 4th. — Lorenzo went to Mansfield ; the after- 
 noon and evening were uncommonly lonely to me. I 
 strove to cry to him, who can calm the boisterous ocean, 
 and to pray to give me strength to submit to the will of 
 the Master. I find it very hard work to give him up, but 
 I hope the Lord will give me the victory at last. 
 
 Sunday, March 16th. — My mind hath been somewhat 
 comforted, in hoping all things would work for our good, 
 whether it should be in separation or meeting in this 
 world. May that Hand, which gently guideth his chil- 
 dren in the way he would have them to walk, be our 
 director through this howling wilderness to that of peace 
 and rest. 
 
 Sunday, March 23d. — ;My companion separated from 
 me, and when he will return 1 know not — may we be 
 supported under all our trials. These things ought to 
 teach us that this is not our abiding home — I wish it may, 
 and that we might with all heart, be seeking one above. 
 I trust he is striving to do good to his fellow men. May 
 he be prospered in the labour, and many precious souls be 
 as stars in his crown in that day when the Lord shall 
 make up his jewels — and O may God help me to lie at 
 his feet in humble submission, prepared for life or death ! 
 
 Tuesday, March 25th. — The Lord is still gracious to 
 poor me. I have a good degree of health, and my mind 
 is as comfortable as I could expect, in the absence of my 
 best of husbands. May that God, who I trust he serves, 
 preserve him from every danger, and may we meet once 
 more on mortal shores I I know not what is before us : we 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 139 
 
 may have deep waters to pass through. O that our heads 
 may be kept above the billows ! and we be prepared to lie 
 down in peace at last. 
 
 March 26th. — I have felt some anxious fears for rny 
 poor Lorenzo this afternoon. I would leave him to the 
 Master, and say, not my will, but thine be done. 
 
 March 28th. — This day father Dow has gone to Hebron, 
 to look at the place ; what will be the result of Provi- 
 dence ? may he preserve him, and prepare his way. My 
 ever precious Lorenzo has been gone two weeks this day. 
 Lord bless and comfort his soul ; prepare him and me for 
 what awaits us. New experiencies open to us almost 
 every day. May we be made willing to suffer all his 
 righteous will. 
 
 Sunday, March 30th. — My mind hath this day passed 
 through deep exercises. O may the Lord ward -oft' the 
 blow which I fear ! I am left in a situation that in some 
 respects is very trying. My poor Lorenzo is absent, and 
 what his situation may be I know not ; but this I may 
 expect, bonds and afflictions await him in every place ; 
 but if he is faithful to his Master, he will stand by him. 
 O that he may improve every moment to the best purpose 
 for this world and the next, which is fast approaching. — 
 Our poor father seems somewhat discouraged. I pray 
 that he may be streno^thened in body and mind. May 
 the way be made plain before him, as it relates to this 
 world and that Avliich is to come. I desire to lie at the 
 feet of the Master. May he give me the power of sub- 
 mission. 
 
 March 31st. — I have deep waters, it may be, to pass 
 through ; what is best for me is only known to the Lord ; 
 may he give me strength to fly and find shelter under his 
 wings. O may he bless my poor Lorenzo this day in 
 soul and body ! I feel some anxiety of mind for our poor 
 old father, as well as for Lorenzo and myself. May God 
 teach us the way of duty ; may we walk therein with 
 delight. I long to feel my heart glow with gratitude for 
 the favours I do enjoy ! 
 
 Friday, April 4th. — My heart feels too much anxiety 
 for myself and my poor Lorenzo. Three weeks to day 
 since he left me, and whether we shall ever meet again 
 in this trying world, is only known to him, who orders 
 
140 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 events; may he be with us in every trying hour. Dan- 
 gers stand thick on every hand, I see nought but trials 
 here, and without his supporting grace we must fall. — 
 May he give me the spirit of a Mary, to lie at his feet, 
 depending only on his mercy. O that I may have a heart 
 of agonizing prayer, for myself, husband, and our father, 
 with the rest of our friends and kind benefactors. 
 
 I desire to be an altogether christian, patient under 
 afflictions, willing to suffer all the will of the Master. — 
 Lord bless my companion while abroad. 
 
 Sunday, April 6th.— My mind hath been somewhat 
 engaged to look for my poor companion, nnd that He 
 would stand by him, and deliver from evils that may 
 beset him in this world of sorrow and distress. O that 
 the Lord would breathe into my soul a spirit of love to 
 God and my fellow men. I feel like a lonely mortal, 
 bereft of all that is most dear to me in this world. These 
 words are in my mind sometimes : 
 
 As on some lonely building top, 
 
 The sparrow tells her moan ; 
 Far from the tents of joy and hope, 
 
 I sit and grieve alone. 
 
 Wednesday, April 9th. — O how my heart longs to get 
 a few lines from my dear Lorenzo. I have been almost 
 overwhelnaed with anxious fears on his account ; O may 
 the Lord preserve him from all danger, and give me 
 strength to sink into his will, and keepus above all things 
 from sinning against him. 
 
 Saturday, April 12th. — None knows the trials through 
 which I have to pass, but him who knows all things. I 
 am sore tempted by the enemy of my soul, and my 
 anxious fears for my poor Lorenzo, are beyond descrip- 
 tion ; four weeks yesterday, since he left me, and I have 
 not received but one letter from him, and that was wrote 
 in less than a week after his departure ; what can be the 
 cause I know not ; may that God who is rich in mercy, 
 be precious to his soul, preserve his feeble body, and may 
 we be permitted once more to meet in this world of 
 sorrow. My soul longs to be freed Irom sin, prepared 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 141 
 
 for what may be the will of Providence concerning me ; 
 my strength I may truly say is perfect weakness. O that 
 I could cast my whole burthen on the Lord, resign myself 
 and my dear companion without reserve to him, believing 
 he will sustain us through the unavoidable troubles that 
 may, and do beset us. I long much to hear from my 
 Lorenzo. O that I may be patient, and wait until the 
 time shall come ; may God give him Ihe spirit of his 
 station, may he lie at the feet of the Master. O give me 
 Mary's place, also ; fit us for a happy meeting at his 
 right hand. 
 
 Sunday, April 13th. — My mind, in some measure, hath 
 been comforted this day. O that the Lord would help 
 me to give mv cares to the wind, when they can do no 
 good, only make me wretched. I am like one almost that 
 is cloistered, but it agrees well with the present state of 
 my ttiind ; I could hardly bear company, I never was 
 more weighed down under trials; what it wrieans I cannot 
 tell, whether the clouds will subside or grovr darker, is 
 known to him who can give sunshine, or stormy weather 
 when it seemeih him good ; O that he would undertake 
 my cause, give me a soul humbled in the dust, at his feet. 
 And may he be with my poor Lorenzo, and help us to 
 bear separation with composure ; why should a living 
 man complain? a man for the punishment of his sins? 
 I have too often forgot the mercies of my God. 
 
 Tuesday, 15th April. — This morning one load of goods 
 started for Hebron. What is before us we cannot see. 
 I have not heard yet from my Lorenzo : may God bless 
 him. 
 
 Sunday, April 20th. — On the 18th we came to Hebron, 
 and have found an asvlum, at Mr. Porter's ; what awaits 
 me here I cannot tell : may I rely on Providence in all 
 circumstances of life ; I received a letter from my poor 
 Lorenzo, which made my heart glad ; father Dow and 
 myself have been to meeting on the hill to-day ; the 
 second one I have attended since the last of January. 
 
 Wednesday, April 23d. — I am not got out of the reach 
 of anxiety, my poor Lorenzo is gone, I know not where, 
 and our poor old father is feeble in body, and his mind often 
 under a gloom, my heart also prone to sink. O may God 
 
142 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 help the most helpless of all creatures to put her trust in 
 him. 
 
 April 27th. — This day my heart feels in a good degree, 
 to look to God for myself and my dear Lorenzo, who is 
 far separated from me, and I know not how it is with 
 him, but I hope Providence may protect him from all 
 danger, and keep his soul near his wounded side. O Lord 
 give more of thy spirit to poor me, that I may rejoice in 
 tribulation 
 
 Sunday, April 27th. — My soul feels this day a mixture 
 of hope and fear; when I look at my present situation, I 
 fear lest I shall sink under the burthens and cares, as it 
 relates to myself, my dear Lorenzo, and our poor father ; 
 he is feeble in body, and his mind very subject to depres- 
 sion ; I feel more and more attached to him, the longer f 
 am acquainted with him ; may God who is able to pour 
 consolation into the hearts of his creatures, comfoi\ him 
 in the decline ©f life, and give him an assurance of his 
 love, that he may pass over Jordan in peace. 
 
 My ever precious companion bears with great weight 
 on my mind, from day to day ; I pray God to preserve 
 him from evils of every kind, and bless him with a con- 
 stant intercourse with his Spirit. I long to be altogether 
 what is the will of God concerning me ! but my mind is 
 so down with daily anxiety, that I cannot tell what to do ; 
 the way is dark, I know not what is before me, but I feel 
 some confidence in the Lord, that he will open the way, 
 and enable me to rely on his mercy. This day my soul 
 has been drawn out in prayer to God, to preserve my 
 dearest Lorenzo, and if it may be consistent, to return him 
 to me again in peace. O Lord help me to drink deeper 
 into thy Spirit ; I feel to mourn before God, that I have 
 made so little progress in the life of holiness ; may he 
 give me strength to set out from this day, to be more ear- 
 nestly engaged to live more devoted to him; my trials 
 are increased, I need more grace, may he give me strength 
 according to my day, and assist me to give all to him, 
 believing he will order all things best for me and my 
 second self; it is now almost two months since I saw 
 him depart, which gave me extreme pain. 
 
 Tuesday, April 9th. — I just received a letter from Lo- 
 renzo ; he has had hard difficulties to surmount ; O my 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 143 
 
 God preserve him, and give him strength to make his 
 way through all, and may we meet again in this vale of 
 tears. 
 
 May 2d. — I last evening received another letter from 
 my tried coHipanion, he is still feeble in body, and sur- 
 rounded by difficulties, O Lord look down from heaven 
 thy dwelling place, and strengthen his body and soul, 
 and may he walk in the light of thy countenance. 
 
 May 15th. — May my soul feel sensations of gratitude 
 to that Hand who hath preserved me until the present 
 time, although I have to pass through deep waters, yet 
 he doth sustain me. O thai I might sink into his will, 
 and leave all to him ; I feel sometimes almost ready to 
 sink ; my dear Lorenzo is absent, he is feeble in body, and 
 beset on every side by enemies that would injure him ; O 
 may God preserve him from every harm, and bring him 
 back safely to poor unworthy me again. 
 
 May 21st. — The prospect still appears gloomy, my body 
 is somewhat borne down with pain and weakness, and 
 many trials of mind ; my dear Lorenzo's gone ; I know 
 not his situation ; and his precious father has too great a 
 burthen lying upon him ; I fear the consequence : O that 
 the Lord may appear for our relief, and give me patience, 
 and help me also to realize my favours, for I hare many 
 to be thankful for ; but I am too apt to look on the dark 
 side, and forget mercies in dwelling on troubles. 
 
 Monday, May 28th. — Through the kindness of the 
 Lord, I am more comfortable in body than I have been 
 for several days ; may my heart be truly thankful to him 
 who gives us all our favours ; our father has this day 
 gone to Coventry, may angels attend him from the Lord, 
 and safely return him to me again ; it appears very lonely 
 when he is gone ; he, in some measure, makes up the 
 absence of my companion. O Lord be with us all, and 
 prepare us for further events. 
 
 July 5th. — Through the month of June I have been 
 out of health, and much weighed down under trials. On 
 the 17th we removed from Mr. Porter's, to our OAvn house ; 
 it was but slightly fixed, for our reception, but so that it 
 was, in some measure comfortable for dinner; it appeared 
 pleasant to be in a house ihat I have some claim to ; yet 
 11* 
 
144 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 1 would hold every thing here as lent from the Lord, 
 willing to give it up when called for. 
 
 On the second day of July, Lorenzo's sisters and brother 
 Bridgemon, came to Hebron, and stayed one week, and 
 then left us for Coventry. The day' after 1 received a 
 letter from my dear Lorenzo, reviving a hope in my 
 breast, of seeing him in a few weeks; may the Lord 
 prosper him, and give me patience, for I feel I can hardly 
 wait until the time arrives. 
 
 Lorenzo returned the 25th of July ; my heart leaped 
 for joy to behold him once more in this world of trial; 
 he hath been prospered beyond all expectation, may my 
 soul glow with gratitude to the God of all mercies, for 
 those unmerited favours. 
 
 August 24th. — I have again had to conflict with the 
 enemy of souls and my weapons have, as yet, appeared 
 too weak to conquer, but I feel a hope in my soul, that 
 through Jesus's grace, I shall be victorious at last ; I find 
 I have my besetments, and some in partieular, that attract 
 me more forcibly than others. O that God may give me 
 strength to withstand them. I am truly desirous to be a 
 comfort to my dear Lorenzo ; he has his trials in the 
 peculiar mode he is called to pursue ; may he have grace 
 and wisdom to keep to his guide. I have had my mind 
 exercised concerning the extraordinary union of soul and 
 body ; when the soul is under trials, the body immediately 
 feels the ^veight, the body also must weigh down the soul 
 when affected, consequently, a body so feeble as mine, 
 and a mind so liable to depression and evil, needs to strug- 
 gle hard to keep above the billows, which soon after arise. 
 
 O Lord help! O Lord strengthen and support me under 
 all my conflicts, and give me a clear prospect to another 
 world. 
 
 My Loreozo must leave me again in a few days, may I 
 cheerfully give him up, and may the Lord go with and 
 bless him on his journey. 
 
 Tuesday, September 6th. — This day my soul hath 
 passed through deep waters, and I fear lest the floods 
 cover me at last ; O that God would appear for my relief, 
 and show me why the enemy of my soul is permitted to 
 beset me so severely ; O that I could fly to the arms of a 
 bleeding Saviour, and sink into nothing at his feet. I am 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 145 
 
 poor and needy, weaker than a bruised reed, help I every 
 moment need. 
 
 September 10th. — There is still a gloom on my mind, 
 though somewhat lighter, but what will be the end of 
 me, I know not ; but I hope the Lord may free me from 
 an heart prone to evil ; O that I might stand in a situation 
 that the enemy may have nothing to work upon in me ! 
 
 October 17th. — My soul still labours under trials. I 
 strive to cry to God for delivering grace, but when I shall 
 obtain what my soul needs, I know not. O that he would 
 make haste to deliver ! My dear Lorenzo has been absent 
 near seven weeks ; may tne Lord be with him, comfort 
 and strengthen him, soul and body. 
 
 Saturday night, November 15th. — My soul feels the 
 need of a greater conformity to that God, in whom I live, 
 to whom I am indebted for every blessing I do enjoy, 
 temporal and spiritual. I shall, (if I live to see another 
 day,) be thirty-seven years ol age, and I would lay my 
 mouth in the dust, at his feet, lamenting I have spent 
 those precious months, days, and moments so little to the 
 glory of his grace, and the benefit of my own soul, and 
 the good of others. I desire this precious night to make 
 a covenant with my soul, to begin with the first of my 
 thirty-eighth year, and strive to dedicate my soul and 
 body to the Lord. Whether I shall see half the year 
 expire, is only known to him who has the issues of life 
 and death ; but that need not alarm me so much, as how 
 I spend my time. O that he would bow the gentle hea- 
 vens, and come into my soul ; then I shall have power to 
 fight the enemy who continually besets me on every side. 
 My dear companion is now absent— may God be with 
 him, and preserve him from every danger ; and if it may 
 consist with his holy will, bring him to me again in safety. 
 
 November 18th. — O God of all grace, help me to lie at 
 thy feet, that I may overcome the evils of my heart ; and 
 unite my soul to thee by a living faith, that death cannot 
 dissolve. 
 
 December 12th. — A new, or rather an old trial revived, 
 has again fallen to my lot : my dear Lorenzo is far sepa- 
 rated from me, and I have reasons to fear he is in a more 
 than common poor state of health ; and what the Master 
 has in store for us, I know not, but I hope he w5i give us 
 
146 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 grace to submit to his will without murmuring, to lay at 
 the feet of ray Master, is. what I most earnestly seek 
 after. If I meet him no more on this side Jordan, may 
 God prepare me to join the happy company on the other; 
 to spend a long eternity in adoring redeeming grace, and 
 dying love. My soul is much weighed down under the 
 present trial ; may I be strengthened to soar above all the 
 world can give, and may the too strong attachment I feel 
 to my companion, be overcome with love to my Saviour, 
 who has done so much for me. Help, Lord, to whom for 
 help I fly ! 
 
 Sunday, December 14th. — My soul feels somewhat 
 encouraged to rely on the Lord our Grod for strength to 
 submit my all to him, and leave my dear companion in 
 his hands, to do with him as seemeth him good, whether 
 to call him to a happy eternity, or to foreign lands to 
 preach his gospel. O that he may breathe into my soul 
 a true spirit of submission, and prepare me to do my 
 duty, and suffer all his righteous will here below with 
 patience — my soul longs to drink deep into his Spirit. — 
 
 that I might wear humility as a garment; I would 
 mourn before my God, that I live so little to his glory, 
 that I improve the time and talents I have so poorly : may 
 
 1 this day make a new covenant with my heart, my eyes, 
 my ears, my hands, and all the powers and faculties of 
 my soul and body, to be devoted to the service of God, 
 and live as one bound to eternity, who must shortly give 
 an account ; but I am dependant on the God of all grace 
 for strength to put any resolution into practice ; O mav 
 he this day impart grace to my soul, to sink into his will 
 in all things. 
 
 Rest for my soul I long to find, 
 
 Saviour of all, if mine thou art, 
 Give me thy meek and lowly mind, 
 
 And stamp thine image on my heart. 
 
 Sunday, Dec. 21st. — Sorrows and trials await my jour- 
 ney ; our dear father seems verging to the grave, and poor 
 Lorenzo is absent, and perhaps under affliction too ; my 
 heart is ^jlivided oetween them, and my own trials of 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 147 
 
 mind ; my heart is rising in rebellion at times, against 
 the dispensations of Providence, and makes me very 
 unhappy. O may these crosses teach me what they are 
 designed for; the Lord hath said he doth not afflict wil- 
 lingly, nor grieve the children of men, but to show them 
 how much their hearts are attached to the world, and the 
 things therein ; may every cross-providence serve to wean 
 me from all I hold dear, and may my Lord have the pre- 
 ference to all inferior thing'i. 
 
 Wednesday, Dec. 24. — I feel like one alone ; what can 
 be the cause of my sinking down under a gloom? all is 
 not right within. 
 
 May the spirit of divine truth shine into my soul, and 
 teach me all my duty ; O that it might expel the enemies 
 of my God ; pride, unbelief, jealousy, envy, evil thinking, 
 and sneaking. I have of late been beset with new trials — 
 a desire to gain the applause of men more than the appro- 
 bation of my Saviour. I would have it driven from my 
 heart, and in its place a meek and humble frame of mind, 
 feeling I have nothing worthy of praise in myself, ab- 
 stracted fr.om the grace of God. My soul longs to be 
 formed anew, freed from all the evils of nature ; made a 
 fit temple for the residence of the spirit of my Master. — 
 My dear Lorenzo is absent, I know not where ; the last I 
 heard from him, he was in Baltimore, from thence, per- 
 haps, he may go to Richmond; his body is feeble, but I 
 trust his soul is filled with peace, love, and joy. Would 
 to God my soul could enjoy the same, and be closely united 
 with him, to our precious Redeemer, and whether we 
 meet again on the shores of time or not, that I might hail 
 him on the happy confines of eternity, where we shall 
 feel no more pain of body nor mind, shall be out of the 
 reach of sin and Satan, to meet all the ship's company, 
 who have sailed with the Saviour below. O happy day 
 for those who gain the prize, who hold out faithful to the 
 end, and are received into the bosom of their Lord; may 
 my soul be quicKened, to run the race with more diligence. 
 
 Sunday. Jan. 11, 1818. — Through the great mercy of a 
 kind Providence, I am still an inhabitant of thia lower 
 world ; but what is in the way before me, I know not ; I 
 feel some new desires in my soul, to live to the glory of 
 God ; to be freed from in-bred corruptions ; to have strength 
 
148 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 to put ray trust in Him, to say, not my will but thine be 
 done. My dearest of earthly friends is far distant from 
 me ; and whether I shall ever behold him again, in this 
 vale of tears, is only known to Him who has all power 
 and goodness in his own hands ; on whom it is our duty 
 and privilege to depend for life and death. I feel my 
 heart as it were, borne down under a weight of sorrow — 
 the prospect is somewhat beclouded. O may the tender 
 hearted Jesus have mercy upon me, the most unworthy of 
 his creatures ; and cleanse my heart from all impurity ! 
 help me to give up my companion with cheerfulness, to 
 go und labour in the vineyard of his Lord, and prepare 
 me to meet him in the blest mansions of peace, wnen all 
 our toils are over. 
 
 January 28th- — O the need I have of more religion ; — ; 
 may God "help me to lay aside every weight, and the sin 
 that doth easily beset me; and may I run with patience 
 the race set before me ; the way of danger I am in, de- 
 prived of the privilege, in a great measure of attending 
 meeting, and have more of the cares and concerns of the 
 world laid upon me, than heretofore, my companion in 
 life in a distant land, and the probability that he may 
 again try the uncertainty and dangers of the seas. O that 
 God may teach him clearly his duty, and then give me a 
 mind filled and prepared to submit to his will. I have 
 passed through some sore conflicts, the summer past; I 
 could not account for my feelings, why the Lord was 
 suffering the enemy to attack me in such an unaccount- 
 able way, was a mystery to me ; but of late I have 
 thought it was to show me what was in my heart : 
 something I did not know had a place there — may the 
 Lord who giveth liberally and upbraideth not, give me 
 victory over all and every evil propensity of my nature; 
 and prepare me to fill the station he has designed me. If 
 he should suffer me again to see my dear Lorenzo, rnajr it 
 be to our mutual benefit, as it relates to our Christian 
 :Course. 
 
 I feel most earnestly to beseech God to teach him the 
 way of his duty, if he does require him agaiu to cross 
 the ocean ; may the way open clearly to him, if not, may 
 some preventative take place. I know not what is required 
 ©f hira, and I would not stand in the w^y of his comply- 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 140 
 
 ing with duty. I feel somewhat lonely at times, but have 
 more resignation for the Lord to do with us as seemeth 
 him good, than I have experienced at other times ; may 
 the Lord increase the begun work in my soul, until all I 
 am is lost in him. 
 
 February 1st. — My life's cleaving to the dust ; Lord 
 give me more of divine life. I feel the seeds of mortality 
 in my dying body ; O that I might improve more dili- 
 gently and carefully my time. 
 
 HERE ENDS HER JOURNAL. 
 
 Dear LoseKzo, 
 
 After an absence of three weeks, which seems long to me, very long, 
 1 take my pen the second time to converBe with him who ia the dear- 
 est object below the sun to rr.y heart. 1 have not yet heafd from 
 you since you crossed the river at Middletown — but I hope the Provi- 
 dence of God will attend and protect you on your mission, and return 
 you ro us in safety. I would leave all to the disposal of our treat 
 Master — yet I feel my heart too often holding you tight — may Jesua 
 be the greatest and most lovely object in my eyes ! 1 would liave 
 Mary's place at his feet, and receive his instructions with submission. 
 1 long to live so as to ir.ect his approbation; and 1 also pray not to 
 stand in your way, and prevent your usefulness to souls. My daily 
 prayer to God is, that you may be clothed with the true spirit of a 
 minister of Christ, and find your labours blessed from place to place ! 
 You have had great encouragement the summer past ; may God 
 still be with you, and give you to see more fruit of your labours in 
 the south, than you have had in the north ; and may you be encircled 
 in the arms of mercy, until you shall be called to receive a rrown of 
 glory, where sorrow and pain can reach you no more — I hope my 
 Boul may be prepared to meet you there. Pray much for me, my 
 dear Lorenzo, that I may have strength to stand irj my lot, and be 
 faithful to my God : there is no time to loose ; from me time flies fast 
 away, and how soon 1 may he called to give an account, 1 know not 
 — 1 would be ready whether it is at midnight, or at the cock's crow- 
 ing. 
 
 My health is remarkably good for me— and my spirits as good and 
 better, than for some time past : — while 1 am writing, I almost fancy 
 myself in the company of my Lorenzo. O may our souls meet at 
 the throne of grace, and find communion there I Christiana's health 
 is much improved since you left us, — the rest of the family are well. 
 Dear father is still feeble, but is able to work in his shop considerably ; 
 we have not heard from Vermont, since your departure; there has 
 r.othing taken place worth mentioning, in a family point of view — 
 
150 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 remember me to all you may meet, with whom 1 have had an ac 
 quaintance. 
 
 Adieu, my ever dear Lorenzo! 
 
 PEGGV DOW. 
 • November 27th, 1817. 
 
 Mt vehy Dear Lorekzo, 
 
 Vour lettera arrived this day ; which gave me pleasure and pain. 
 Real satiBfaction to find your health is in some measure restored, and 
 that your soul is kept in peace! sweet peace! It is more desirable 
 than gold ! yea, than fine gold ! It will support our souls when earthly 
 treasures fail. — But 1 felt somewhat pained to find it confirmed, that 
 you have serious ii-tention of again encountering the dangers of the 
 'as, and perhaps far greater on the other side— but your letter from 
 Baltimore, in a considerable degree prepared my mind for this — I 
 could not tell whether your state of health was such, as to give you 
 reason to think you should shortly bid adieu to all thins;8 below the 
 Bun : or you should visit foreign lands. 
 
 I have no cause to think you forget your poor Peggy— but 1 
 believe you have a work to do ; and I also remember the contract, as 
 well as you. 1 do not feel in my heart, to hold you back from doing 
 your duty, if 1 could. It would be truly a comfort to me to have 
 your company— the greatest of an earthly nature; but not at the 
 expense of your peace of mind. * ♦ * * * 
 
 ♦ ♦♦*♦♦*♦ 
 
 Our dear father has been very unwell — but is better: Ire does not 
 forget you. It appears to be a great comfort to him, that you are in 
 a good cause, pursuing the road to peace and happiness ; — he often 
 says he should be glad to see you, but has this consolation : if you 
 are called from the stage of action, he has reason to hope your toils 
 and troubles will be at an end. The family are well. Christiana has 
 got her health tolerable again — my health is as good, or better, than 
 when you left us. 
 
 1 strive to leave all to the disposal of the Master; praying that 
 peace and prosperity may attend you, whether on the briny deep, or 
 HI foreign lands ; for he is a sure tower to all that put their tru«t in 
 him. My soul's desire and prayer to God is, that I may be a living 
 witness for him, in life and death. 
 
 This is the first day of another year ; but what will take place 
 before the close with us, is only known to Him who has the issues of 
 life and death — may he direct our steps ; and if either of us, or any 
 of the family shall be called to quit this mortal life, may we close the 
 same in peace. Adieu, my Lorenzo, 
 
 I hope to meet you there, if no more here. 
 
 PEGGV DOW. 
 
 January Ist, 1818. 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 151 
 
 DxAs Lorenzo, 
 
 1 take my pen again to converse with you, this being the only 
 way we communicate our thoughts to each other, when separated by 
 rivers and mountains ; and 1 esteem it a precious privilege. 1 have 
 much cause to adore the beneficent hand of Providence for his mercy 
 to u8-ward, although we have our trials, — yet he mixes mercy with 
 them. He has of late given me some tokens for good, — my heart 
 has been enabled to rejoice in his love, in a considerable degree. — 
 At a meeting a few nights ago, when Methodists and Presbyterians 
 were united, and there was an union in my heart to all the dear 
 children of my Master, 1 have felt more strength to say in my heart, 
 "the will of the Lord be done." 1 think yesterday, my desire to 
 God was if it would be more for his glory, for you to return in a few 
 weeks, you might, if not, so let it be— GO, MY LORENZO, THE 
 WAY YOU ARE ASSURED THE LORD CALLS; and if we 
 meet no more in this vale of tears, may God prepare us to meet in 
 the realms of peace, to range the blest fields on the banks of the river, 
 and sing hallelujah, for ever and ever. 1 am very sure if 1 reach 
 safe the destined port, 1 shall have cause to sing. 1 trust the Lord 
 who has called you to leave all, will give you a rich reward : in 
 this world, precious souls, and in the world to come, a crown of glory. 
 1 have seen brother Tarbox since his return — nothing has taken 
 place new. You have been accustomed to similar treatment — may 
 you have patience and true philanthrophy of heart, — that is most 
 desirable. You cannot conclude, 1 think, from what 1 have written, 
 that 1 would not rejoice to see you return, if it would be consistent 
 with the will of God; but 1 would desire, above all things not to be 
 found fighting against him. Your father and myself are as well as 
 wa may expect, considering our iniirmities. My health has been 
 better than when you left me, for some past. ♦ » . » 
 
 ♦ ♦ My dc&r Lorenzo, 1 bid adieu once more ; may 
 
 the Lord return you to you|y)oor Peggy again. 1 have written five 
 times before this. ^ PEGGY DOW. 
 
 January 22d, 1818, 
 
 Returned to my Ps^ggy, about 3d Mareh, at my father's, in Hebron, 
 Connecticut, and parted about 5th May, for Europe ; and sailed from 
 New York on the 20th, in the ship Alexander Mansfield, for Liver- 
 
 Kool, where 1 arrived about the 18th of June, and in a few weeks 
 ope to receive Jetters from her. 
 
 LORENZO DOW. 
 Liverpool, July 27th, 1818. 
 
 #12 
 
AN ACCOUNT 
 Of the closing Scenes in the Life of PEGGY DOW. 
 
 BY LORENZO DOW. 
 
 After my return from Virginia a few weeks, leaving 
 her with my father, we parted, and I sailed for England, 
 May 20th, and arrived there about the 20th of June, 1818. 
 
 Whilst travelling in that country, many persons in dif- 
 ferent parts, who were strangers to me, remarked that 
 they thought from their feelings, that my Peggy would 
 be gone off from the stage of action, so that I would see 
 her. no more, unless I returned to America soon ! 
 
 Their feelings were so consonant to my own anticipa- 
 tions, that it caused my return a year sooner than was 
 contemplated when we parted. 
 
 Arrived back to America in June, 1819, after an absence 
 of ahout thirteen months. 
 
 She had attended a writing school in my absence, in 
 February; and getting wet and chilled, took cold — and 
 hence a cough and tightness across the chest, and thence 
 a decline ensued. 
 
 However, the subject was not viewed as serious at the 
 first, as the sequel afterwards proved to be. 
 
 She travelled with me some distance to various meet- 
 ings ; and when we were at Providence, in Rhode Island, 
 I found her in a room weeping — on enquiring the cause, 
 she, after some hesitation, replied, " The consumption is 
 a flattering disease ! — but I shall return back to Hebron^ 
 and tell Father Dow that I have come back to die with 
 him !" 
 
 After my return from Europe, she requested me not to 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 153 
 
 Ifeave her, till she had got better or worse— which request 
 she had never made at any time, under any circumstances 
 in former years whatever. 
 
 We returned in September. She remarked that she 
 felt more comfort in Divine enjoyment than she express- 
 ed to others — and that her " death might be sanctified 
 
 TO SOME." 
 
 We never parted but twice after my return from 
 Europe — once for a night, and once on business to Bos- 
 ton of about five days. 
 
 She continued growing more and more feeble, until in 
 December, when she asked if I thought her dissolution 
 was near ? The reply to which, was an opinion, that 
 she would continue until spring, if not longer. 
 
 She replied that she thought so too ; but the night fol- 
 lowing, she awoke me up, and enquired the time of the 
 month? — and being informed, she said that she thought 
 she was bounded in ail by the month of January. 
 
 Counted every day until the year expired, and then 
 almost every hour, until the morning of the fifth, when 
 she asked me if I had been to bespeak a Coffin for her? 
 But was answered in the negative ; — when in the evening, 
 she enquired if I had been to call in the neighbours ? I 
 answered, No! But brother and sister Page came in and 
 spent the night, which seemed refreshing to her; and 
 with whom we had spent many happy hours in days that 
 were gone by ! 
 
 About two o'clock at night, she requested me to call up 
 the family, which being done; she soon began to fail 
 very fast. 
 
 Being asked if she felt any pain? She answered 
 in the negative— and that but one thing attracted her 
 here below — pointing her finger towards me as supported 
 in my arms. When I replied, Lord, Thou gavest her to 
 me ! I have held her only as a lent favour for fifteen 
 years ! and now I resign her back to Thee, until we meet 
 again beyond the swelling flood ! She replied with a 
 hearty " Amen." and soon expired, as the going out of a 
 snuff of a candle, without a struggle, contraction or groan! 
 
 In the course of convecsation the last night — her views 
 and attachments to the things of time and eternity — 
 she replied that she felt no condemnation, and that but 
 
154 VICISSITUDES IN 
 
 one thing attracted her here below, that was hard to give 
 up; but that she felt willing to resign herself into the 
 hands of the Great and Wise Disposer, for the things of 
 eternity were far more desirable than the things of time ; 
 for her better prospects were beyond this life, and there 
 appeared to be a calm and sweet submission ! 
 
 By my request, she was dressed and laid out in her 
 best plain, neat meeting dresSj with woollen blankets, 
 instead of shrouded sheets. Her grave was about three 
 feet below tke common depth — her funeral was attended 
 by a large concourse of people — the sermon was delivered 
 by Daniel Burrows, a particular friend, who had visited 
 her frequently in her last sickness. 
 
 Many had said L. D. was eccentric, and that it was 
 now exemplified ! But such, still admitted that the dress 
 became impressive on the occasion ; and also the colour 
 of the coffin too. It was a solemn, serious and impressive 
 time ! 
 
 Woollen does not rot like some other things ! — and the 
 sacred dust, I wished to repose (undisturbed in ages to 
 come, by future moving of the earth for the dead,) until- 
 " The Trump of God shall sound !" 
 
 What God said to Ezekiel, " Behold I take away the 
 desire of thine eyes icith a stroke.''^ January 6th, 1820, 
 were exemplified, as with a sword through my soul ; for 
 the impression of the words, were as a dispensation of 
 preparation, some few years antecedent to the time. 
 
 This is a subject that may be felt, but cannot be de- 
 scribed ! Those who have drank the cup, know the Ian* 
 guage — to others, it is but a dream ! 
 
 She possessed exquisite feelings of sensibility, but there 
 was affection and condescension. Hence the sequel upon 
 the Journey of Life, as agreeable consequences for 'peace in 
 a married state I But where there is a want of Love, affec- 
 tion, and an attachment, there is a Cause of misery, mis- 
 chief and unhappiness of many families ! 
 
 Love and affection cannot be bought ; they are above 
 rubies — yea, beyond all price, when applied to the mar- 
 ried state ! 
 
 The. following was put upon her tomb stone, in the 
 Methodist Burying Ground, in Hebron, Connecticut, ten 
 years after;— ^ 
 
THE WILDERNESS. 165 
 
 " PEGGY DOW 
 Shared the VicisaiTUDES of Lorenzo 
 
 FIFTEEN YEARS, 
 
 And died January Qthj 1820, 
 
 AGED 39." 
 
 Seventeen years before this, I lost my Mother, and two 
 years and eight months after the decease of Peggy, my 
 Father died. Six of us children are still living ; and out 
 of 28 grand-children, 16 are still on mortal shore I 
 
 It is now March, 1833, which brings me to the age of 
 65 years and five months ; and 40 years and 4 months of 
 my religious pilgrimage ; and 37 years in the public Jield 
 of battle, wandering through the world ! 
 
 My Peggy is gone to meet our Infant in yonder world, 
 where I trust to meet them both by and bye — which is a 
 »weet and pleasing thought to me! L. D. 
 
 ■ r 
 
 I 5 
 
 12* 
 
TO THE YOUNG READER. 
 
 There is not any subject that can engage your atten- 
 tion of more importance than Marriage^ except the sal- 
 vation of the soul. Your peace for time depends upon it, 
 and, in a great measure, your eternity is connected with 
 it ; though it be treated as a novel in a romantic way, and 
 even most young people cannot hear the word " Matri- 
 mony" mentioned, without exhibiting levity in their coun- 
 tenances, which shows how little they realize the subject, 
 and in what a trifling manner they view it. If a man 
 have a farm, and don't like it, he can sell it, and procure 
 another; if he have a house, and don't like it, he can pull 
 it down, and build another. But this is for life! It is 
 indeed one of the most important concerns of life. Hence, 
 act honorably, and discreetly, in the fear of God ; and 
 take him for your counsellor, that you may enjoy his fa- 
 vour, and thereby secure his protection. 
 
 LORENZO DOW. 
 
REFLECTIONS 
 
 ON 
 
 MATRIMONY. 
 
 TWELTH EDITION, WITH ADDITIONS. 
 
 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled. 
 But Whoremongers and Adidterers God will judge. 
 
 Heb. xiii. 4. 
 
 Various are the opinion/i with regard to the subject 
 before us. Some people tell us it is not lawful for men 
 and women to marry, and argue thus to prove it ; " It is 
 living after the flesh ; they that live after the flesh shall 
 die, (by which is meant separation from God,) therefore 
 they who live together as husband and wife shall die." — 
 Now the premises hemg wrong, the conclusion is wrong 
 of necessity ; for living together as husband and wife is 
 not living after the flesh, but after God's ordinance: as is 
 evident from Matt. xix. 4, 5, 6. — "And he answered, 
 
 AND SAID UNTO TKEM HAVE YE NOT READ THAT HE WHICH 
 MADE THEM AT THE BEGINNING MADE THEM MALE AND 
 FEMALE, AND SAID, FOR THIS CAUSE SHALL A MAN LEAVE 
 FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL CLEAVE TO HIS WIFE J AND 
 THEY TWAIN SHALL BE ONE FLESH ? WhEREFORE, THEY 
 ARE NO MORE TWAIN, BUT ONE FLESH. WhAT, THEREFORE, 
 God, HATH JOINED TOGETHER, LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER." 
 
 In these words Christ, our great lawgiver, refers to 
 Gen. ii. 24; which at once proves, that the paradisiacal 
 institution is not abrogated. From the beginning of the 
 world until the words of the text were written, people 
 lived together as husband and wife, and had divine appro- 
 bation in so doing : as is easily prowd from the word or 
 
158 REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 God. Some people have an idea we cannot be as Ao/jf 
 in a married as in a single state. But hark ! Enoch 
 walked with God after he begat Methuselah, three hun- 
 dred years, and begat sons and daughters * Gen. v. 22. 
 Heb. xi. 5. Now if Enoch under that dark dispensation 
 could serve God in a married slate, and be fit for transla- 
 tion from earth to heaven, why not another person be 
 equally pious^ and be filled with "righteousness, and 
 peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost" under the Gospel dis- 
 pensation ? according to Rom. xiv. 17. But admitting it 
 is right for common peeple to marry, — Is it right for the 
 CLERGY to marry ? Answer — I know that too many think 
 it is not, and are ready to conclude, that whenever " a 
 'preacher marries, he is backslidden from God:" hence 
 the many arguments made use of by some to prevent it. 
 When I hear persons who are wamerf trying to dissuade 
 others from marrying", I infer one of two things: that 
 they are either unhappy in their marriage, else they 
 enjoy a blessing which tney do not wish others to partake 
 of. The CHURCH OF ROME havc an idea that the Pope is 
 St. Peter's successor, and that the clergy ought not to 
 tnarry. But I would ask, if it was lawful for St. Peter 
 to have a wife, why not lawful for another priest or 
 PREACHER to havc oiit? But have we any proof that 
 Peter had a wife? In Matt. viii. and 14. we read as fol- 
 lows : " And when Jesus was come into Peter^s hxmsty 
 he saw his wife's mother laid, and sick of a fever." Now, 
 how could Peter's wife^s mother be sick of a fever, pro- 
 vided he had no wife ? and as we have no account that 
 Christ parted Peter and his wife, I infer that he lived 
 with her after his call to the apostleship, according to 
 Rom. vii. 2. for " the woman which hath an husband is 
 
 ♦ Whoevor will reflect, 1. on the command iu Paradise; 2. the 
 prontiees in the ten commaudmente ; 3. that Samuel was the answer 
 of prayer, and proved a blessing to society ; 4. that although all per- 
 sons by nature have an equal chance, yet the influence of example 
 is to be taken into account ; 5. the blessings that Grod may bestow aa 
 a treasure from his goodness, in answer to sincere obedience and 
 praver; and, 6. the honour of being born of truly pious parents is 
 matter ot Joy and gratitude ; for who arc, or can be filter instruments 
 t« add to the number of the heavenly host? 
 
MATRIMONY. I5fi| 
 
 BOUND by the law to her husband so long as he liveth;" 
 now if iPeter's wife was " bound^^ to him, how could he 
 go off and leave her, as some people think he did 1 The 
 words of the text are, " marriage is honourable in all." — 
 But how could it be honourable in all, if it were dis- 
 honovjrabh in the 'priestly order ? For they forming a 
 part, of course are included in the word A double L. In 
 the first epistle written by St. Paul to Timothy, (iv.) we 
 read thus : " Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in 
 the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving 
 heed to seducing spirits and doctrines of devils ; speaking 
 lies in hypocrisy ; having their conscience seared with a 
 hot iron ; forbidding' to marry, and commanding to ab- 
 stain from meats, which God hath created to be received 
 with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the 
 truth." Observe, forbidding to marry is a doctrine of 
 devils, therefore not of divine origin ; of course not to be 
 obeyed, for we are under no obligation to obey the devils ; 
 but in opposition to them, to enjoy all the benefits of 
 divine institutions. Marriage is a divine institution, 
 therefore the benefits of matrimony may be enjoyed by 
 them that believe and know the truth. Having briefly, but 
 fully shown, that matrimony is lawful, I shall proceed to 
 elucidate the words of my text, or motto. In doing which, 
 I shall. 
 
 First, Show what matrimony is not. 
 
 Secondly, What it is. , 
 
 Thirdly, Point out some of the causes of unhappy 
 marriages, and conclude with a few words of advice. 
 
 Resuming the order proposed, I come in the first {)lace 
 to show what matrimony is not. 
 
 1st. Two persons of the same gender dressed in the 
 garb of the sexes, deceive a magistrate or minister, and 
 have the ceremony performed, which is no marriage, but 
 downright wickedness, which some have audaciously 
 been goilty of. ^ 
 
 2d. There are certain beings in the world in human 
 shape, and dress in the garb of one of the sexes, but at 
 the same time are not properly masculine nor feminine ; 
 of course not marriageable. They enter into matrimonial 
 engagements with persons of one of the sexes, and the 
 formal ceremony is performed; this is not matrimony, 
 
160 REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 but an iroposffion ; forasrauch as the desig^n of matrimony 
 cannot be answered thereby. 
 
 3d. Sometimes a banditti catch two persons and com- 
 pel them; eereraonially to marry at the point of the sword, 
 to saye their lives ; but this is not matrfraony : for it is 
 neither samertioned by laws divine or human ; neither are 
 they obligated by such laws to live together. 
 
 4th. Some men hare a pluralrty of Avomen, but they 
 cannot be married to them afi ; if the first mfanriage was 
 lawful, the other arc ko£, '^'^for two," sarfh he, (not three) 
 " shall be one ffesh f moreover, when two persbos enter 
 into marriage, they promise to forsake all others, and be- 
 true to each other wbiJe thay both shall live ; therefore 
 are not at liberty to have any thing to do with other per- 
 sons. 
 
 5th. Sometimes persons who are married without just 
 cause, leave their companion, take up with another per- 
 son, and live with him or her: this is not matrimony, bat 
 adultery ; and all such persons may expect to meet with 
 God's disapprobation in eternity ; " for such shall not 
 inherit the Kingdom of God." 
 
 6th, Two persons living together as husband and ^-/ife, 
 and yet feeling at liberty to forsake the present, and em- 
 brace another object at pleasure — this is not matrimony, 
 but whoredom: and " whoremongers and adulterers God 
 will judge." Yet we may here observe : in many parts 
 of the world, the political state of affairs is sucn, that 
 two persons may live together by mutual consent as hus- 
 band und wife, where there is no formal ceremony per- 
 formed, and yet be justified before God : which was the 
 case Tvith the Jews, (instance also if some were ca:it 
 away upon an island ;) but this is aoi the case in Ame~ 
 rica, except among the coloured people, or heathen tribes^ 
 as will be more fully shown under the aext head — in 
 which I am to show, 
 
 Secondly, What matrimony is. 
 
 Some pweople believe in u decree, (eomnionly called a 
 lottery,) viz. That Gad has determined in all cases, that 
 l^artieular men and women should be married to each 
 other; and that it is impossible they should marry any 
 other person. But I say, hush ! for if that be the case, 
 then God apppints all matches % but I believe the devil 
 
MATRIMONY* 161 
 
 appoints a great many ; for if God did it, then it would 
 be done in wisdom, and of course it would be done right; 
 if so, there would not be so many unhappy marriages in 
 the world as what ther<e are. If one man steals or runs 
 away with another man^s wife^ goes into a strange coun- 
 try, and there marries he?-^ did God decree that ? What 
 made God Almighty so angry with the Jews for marrying 
 into heathen families ; and why did the prophet Nehe- 
 miah contend with them, curse them, pIucK off their hair, 
 and make them swear that they would not give their 
 daughters to the Ammonites, &c. as we read in the 13th 
 chapter of Nehemiah, if God appointed such matches? 
 Agam, why did John the Baptist exclaim so heavily 
 against Herod, for having his brother Philip's wife ? If 
 it was necessary, he could Hot help it ; therefore John 
 talked very foolishly when he said it was not lawful, for 
 that was to say it was not lawful to do what God had 
 decreed should be done. Notwithstanding I do not belieye 
 in lottery, (so called,) yet I believe* that persons who are 
 under the influence of divine g'race, may have a guide to 
 direct them to> a person suitable to make them a com- 
 panion, with whom they may live agreeably : but this 
 can only be done by having pure intentions, paying parti- 
 cular attention to the influence of the Divine Spirit within 
 and the opening of Providence without ; being careful 
 not to run so fast as to outrun your guide, nor yet to move 
 so slow as to lose sight thereof. 
 
 But to return : — Marriage consists in agreements of par- 
 lies, in union of heart, and a promise of fidelity to each 
 other before God; "forasmuch as he looketh at the heart, 
 and judgeth according to intention." — 1 Sam. xvi. 7. As 
 there is such a thing as for persons morally to commit 
 adultery in the sight of God, who never actually did so, 
 Matt. v. 28, so persons may be married in his sight, who 
 
 ♦ I apprehend that every person who is mafriageoble, and whose 
 duty it IS to marry — there is a particular object they oueht to have ; 
 — but 1 believe it poesible for them to miBs that object, an3 be connect- 
 ed with one that is improper for them — one cause of bo many unhappy 
 families, f;^ There is a providence attending virtue, and a curse 
 attending vice ! 
 
103 REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 never had the formal ceremony performed. Obserrey 
 marriage is a divine institution ; was ordained by God in 
 the time of man's innocency, and sanctioned by Jesus 
 Christ under the gospel ; he graced a marriage feast in 
 Cana of Galilee, where he turned water into wine, John 
 ii. h Now, that marriage consists not barely in the out- 
 ward ceremony is evident ; for this may be performed on 
 two persons of either sex, and yet no marriage j for the 
 benefits resulting from marriage, cannot be enjoyed 
 through such a medium. If matrimony is the formal 
 sentence, who married Adam and Evei and what was 
 the ceremony by which they were constituted husband 
 and wife? But if Adam and Eve were married without 
 a formal ceremony, then something else is matrimony in 
 the sight of God : of jcourse, it must be an agreement of 
 
 {>arties as above, Yet it is necessary to attend to the 
 aws of our country, and have a formal ceremony per- 
 formed, K^ which is the EVIDENCE of MATRI- 
 MONY ! ! For we are commanded to " be subject to 
 every ordinance of man, for the Lord's sake," 1 Peter ii. 
 13. St. Paul saith — " Let every soul be subject unto the 
 higher powers, for there is no power but of God ; the 
 powers that be, are ordained by God. Whosoever, there- 
 fore, resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God : 
 and they that resist shall receive to themselves damna- 
 tion," Rom. xiii. 1, 2. Moreover, without this outward 
 evidence it cannot be known who are married and who 
 are not; so that men could leave their wives and children 
 to suffer; deny they ever engaged to live with such 
 women, and having no proof thereof, they could not be 
 compelled by any law to provide for such women abd 
 children. Once more, unless the law is complied with, 
 the woman cannot be considered as his lawful wife, (for 
 what makes her his lawful wife, is compliance with the 
 law,) of course the children are not lawful ; then it fol- 
 lows they are adulterers and adulteresses ; else fornicators 
 and fornicatresses ; their children are illegitimate ; and 
 after the death of the man, the woman and children can- 
 not heir his estate, if he dies without a will.* 
 
 ♦ A Lawyer attempted to diBinherit some quaker ehildreo, pleading 
 that they were illegitimate, because their parents were not married 
 
MATRIMONY. 163 
 
 Q,ueslion. If two persons contract for marriage, and 
 have p'edged their fidelity to each other before God, are 
 they justifiable in breaking that marriage contract ? 
 
 Answer. If one has acted the part of an impostor, 
 told lies, and deceived the other, this is not marriage, but 
 an imposition ; of course the person so imposed on is 
 justifiable in rejecting such deceiver! But it' they both 
 make statements in truth, are acquainted with each 
 other's character, dispositions, practices, and principles, 
 and then, being in possession of such information, volun- 
 tarily engage before God to live together as man and 
 wife, unless something wicked, more than was or could 
 be reasonably expected, transpires relative to one or the 
 other of the two persons so engaged ; Ix^ the person 
 who breaks such contract cannot be justifiable oefore 
 God ! For I think I have clearly proved such contract 
 to fee marriage in his sight; and Christ saith, "whoso- 
 ever shall put away his wife except it be for fornication, 
 and shall marry another, commilteth adultery ;* ana 
 
 bv a priest. The question arose from his competitor. From whom 
 or from whence, did tlie clergy derive their authority to give iudulfi- 
 eiice of marriag-e to some, and wiilihold it from otiiers? The judge 
 replied, the doctrine proves too much, — it proves tliot we are all 
 illegitimate ; for I recollect reading of a marriage in Paradise, and 
 no priest there to celebrate it ! Hence it became a national question, 
 and part of the civil code, instead of pure ecclesiastical. There 
 never was a spiritual court in the United btates, nor any Bac<-lebag- 
 gars, under tlie Popish idea of " order and succession." Here a, 
 qtiestion will arise, with regard to the policy or justice of a man's 
 keepipg a woman, who wa.s virtuous when he took her, and felie 
 rernairta-trtTictfy true to him; and, after having retained her in keep' 
 ina^ a number of years, she also having had children by hiu;, he is 
 still at liberty to fling her off, and bastardize their oftspring I lii 
 Spanish Florida, if a man and woman live together ten days, as 
 husband and wite, — if he die, she will be allowed to claim her part, 
 (i. e. a wife's part,) of his projierty. 
 
 * Now, it appears furthermore, that the Jews considered a mutual 
 contract as above— Jlarriages are sacred ; as is evident from Deut. 
 xxii. 22. 28. "If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto a hus- 
 band, and a man tind her in a city, and lie with her, then ye shall 
 bring them both out into the gate of that city ; and ye shall stone 
 them with atones that they die ; the damsel because she cried not, 
 being in the city, and the man because he humbled his neighbour's 
 13 . 
 
164 REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 who so marrieth her which is put away ("for fornica- 
 tion,") doth commit adultery," Matt. xix. 9. From this 
 passage it is evident, that for the cause of fornication, a 
 man may put away his wife, marry another, and yet be 
 justifiable in the eye of the divine law. Moreover, if a 
 man puts away his wife for any other cause save fornica- 
 tion, «fcc. and utterly refuseth to live with her, she is at 
 liberty to marry, but he is not. This I think is what St. 
 Paul meaneth in 1 Cor. vii. 15. " but if the unbelieving de- 
 part let him depart ; a brother or sister is not under bond- 
 age in such cases," i. e. they are free from the law, for 
 that is what they were bound by ; of course, at liberty to 
 marry again, for the innocent are not to suffer for the 
 guilty. Admitting the above to be correct, how many 
 such adulterers and adultresses there are in the world ! — 
 And what a dreadful account will thousands have to give 
 in the day of eternity, for the violation of their most sa- 
 cred promises ! ! But one is ready to say, I was not sin- 
 cere when I made those promises. Then you dissembled 
 to deceive, and told lies* to ensnare the innocent ; like 
 
 wife." Wo^v, observe, the woman is styled a virgin, and yet a man's 
 wife, because she was betrothed ; that is, engaged to him by solemn 
 contract. Take notice, the punishment inflicted on such as broke 
 their marriage contract was death — whereas there was no such 
 punishment inflicted on those who were not betrothed ; as you may 
 read in the same chapter, verse 28, 29. Why this difference in their 
 punishment? Answer. Because the crime was aggravated by the 
 violation of the marriage contract. God is the same in justice now, 
 that he was then ; and crimes are not less under the gospel thiAi they 
 were under the law. "Let them that read understand," 
 
 In the gospel as recorded by St. Matthew, this is farther verified, 
 Matt. i. 18, 19, 20, as exemplified in Mary the mother of Christ, and 
 Joseph ; for before they came together she is styled his wife, and he 
 her husband, f;;^ This is the truth, and you cannot deny it. Strange 
 to think what numbers in the world for the sake of human flesh and 
 a liule of this perishable world's goods, will persuade their friends or 
 children to sin against God by breaking their marriage coi tact! — 
 The Devil can but tempt, but mortal man compel ! ! 1 am here 
 speaking of contracts where there is no lawful objection. 
 
 * A man, (1 do not say a gentleman,) in the West, sought the de- 
 struction of an innocent -and to accomplish his designs, "wish- 
 ed tliat heaven might never receive his soul nor the earth his body, if 
 
MATRIMONY. ' 185 
 
 ihe devil when he transforms himself into an angel of 
 light, and the greater shall be your damnation. "For all 
 liars shall have their portion in the lake that burns with 
 fire and brimstone," Rev. xxi. 8. Many men will work 
 an hundred schemes and tell ten thousand lies to effect 
 the most devilish purposes, and after their ends are an- 
 swered, turn with disdain from the person deceived by 
 them, and make themselves merry to think how they 
 swept the pit of hell to accomplish their design. " But 
 whoremongers and adulterers God will judge ;" which 
 brings me to the last thing proposed. In which I am, 
 
 Thirdly, To point out some of the causes of unhappy 
 marriages. 
 
 Here I would observe, that Divine Wisdom hath 
 ordained marriage for several important ends. 1st. For 
 the mutual happiness of the sexes ih their journey through 
 life, and as a comfort and support to each other. 2d. That 
 souls may be propagated agreeably lo the divine will, 
 capable of glorifying and enjoying him for ever. 3d. 
 As the man without the woman, or the woman without 
 the man, is not in a capacity to provide for a family, 
 Divine Wisdom hath wisely ordained their mutual aid, 
 in providing for, instructing, and protecting offspring ; as 
 guardian angels who must give account. Beside the rea- 
 son assigned by St. Paul, 1 Cor. vii. But to return, I 
 would observe, 1st. Too many marry from lucrative 
 views; their object is not to get a suitable companion, 
 who will sweeten all the ills of life, but to get a large 
 fortune, so that their time may be spent in idleness and 
 luxury ; that they may make a grand appearance in the 
 world, supposing that property will make them honoura- 
 ble. This bei«g the leading' motive, they direct their 
 attention to an object, which, if it was not for property, 
 would perhaps be looked upon by them with contempt ; 
 and profess the greatest regard for the person, while the 
 property is the object of their affections. Perhaps the 
 person is old ; the ideas are — " This old man or woman 
 
 he did not perform his contract,"— and afterwards boaBled of his 
 worseVthan diabolical act; but God took him at hie word — for he wub 
 shot by an Indian, and rotted above ground I 
 
168 * REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 cannot live long; then all will be mine, and I shall be in 
 such circumstances that I can marry to great advantage ;" 
 forgetting there are other people in the world just of their 
 own opinion ! The contract is made, the sham marriage 
 is performed, there is a union of hand but not of he.irt, 
 in consequence of which they are not happy together. — 
 The deceived, on finding out the deception, wishes a 
 reversion in vain, which the other must sensibly feel ; for 
 sin hath its own punishment entailed to it ; therefore the 
 curse of God follows such impure intentions. I appeal 
 to those who have married from these incentives, whether 
 these things are not so! — 2d. Some people take fancy for 
 love ; th?y behold a person whom they would almost take 
 to be an angel in human shape, (but all is not gold that 
 glitters,) and through the medium of the eye become 
 enamoured ; and rest not until the object of their fancy is 
 won.. Beauty being but skin deep, sickness or age soon 
 makes the rose to wither ; they are then as much disap- 
 pointed as the miser who thought he had ten thousand 
 guineas all in gold, but after counting them over every 
 day for twelve months, the gilt wore off, by which means 
 he discovered his gold was only tarnished copper; of 
 course lost its value in his estimation. So when beauty 
 fades, the foundation of happiness being gone, and seeing 
 nothing attracting to remain, it is not uncommon for an 
 object more beautiful to be sought. 3d. There is such a 
 thing as for petsoas to marry for love, and yet be un- 
 happy i J)i^l ?ay marry for love ? Yes— but not their 
 owa lore j OB;ly the love of their parents or friends. For 
 instance, two persons of suitable age, character, disposi- 
 tion, &c. form attaehments of the strongest nature, are 
 actuated by pure motives, are united in heart, and enter 
 into the most solemn engagements t&live together during 
 life ;* the parents being asked, utterly refase to give ti eir 
 daughter, without any suftieieat reason for such refusal. 
 In the next place, they strive to break the marriage con- 
 tract, as made by the two young people. Perhaps the 
 
 * Some people say the bargain should be conditional, thus — •' If my 
 parents love you well enongh, 1 will have yoiu" This jnst {irovea 
 ihe point in h^nd, thai they tjiugt ma3;ry for the pareaU' love aud 
 
MATRIMONY. 16? 
 
 man has not property enough to please them, for worth is 
 generally (though improperly) estimated by the quantity 
 of property a person possesses, instead of a character, his 
 principles, his practices, &c. In order to effect their 
 wishes every measure they can invent is pushed into 
 operation, (and it is frequently ihe case that family con- 
 nexions, and even strangers interfere, who have no busi- 
 ness so to do ; but fools will be meddling ;) to change 
 the woman's mind, and make bad impressions on the 
 same with respect to the object of her affections; they 
 strive by placing their diabolical optic to her eye to make 
 her view every thing in the worst light they possibly 
 can ; promise great things if she break it off: " all these 
 things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and wor- 
 ship me," (said the devil once ;) threaten to place the 
 black seal of reprobation upon her if she fulfils her en- 
 gagements. Here the mind becomes as a "troubled sea 
 which cannot rest ;" She is at a loss to know what is 
 duty — she loves her parents, also the man to whom her 
 heart has been united — her affections are placed, her 
 honour is pledged — she spends restless nights and mourn- 
 ful days to know how to decide! — critical but important 
 period ! Her present, and perhaps her eternal peace 
 depends upon the decision ! After many struggles with 
 her own conscience, at length through powerful persua- 
 sion sh% yields to the wishes of others — betrays her trust, 
 breaks her marriage contract, deserts her best friend, and 
 pierces herself through with many sorrows.* Does this 
 decision give peace of mind ? By no means 1 She is 
 pained at the very heart, and flies to some secret place 
 to give vent to the sorrow she feels. Follow her to the 
 lonely apartment — behold her there as pale as death — = 
 her cheeks bedewed with tears I What mean those heavy 
 
 * If the woman is under age, she may perhaps be ju6tifiabl« on 
 that accouut; but if she is of age it argues imbecility; for she has 
 as much right to act for herself, as her parents have to act for 
 themselves; ot course should have a judgment and soul of her 
 own ! If the fault is altogether in herself, she proves at once she 
 is not to be confided in: and 1 would pronounce that man blessed 
 who has escaped a woman of so mean a principle— for Bwch a thing 
 has scarcely been known among heathenp. 
 13* 
 
168 REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 groans ? What mean those heart-breaking sighs ? What 
 mean those floods of briny tears poured forth so free, as 
 if without consent ? She Avas torn from the object ©1 all 
 her earthly joy ! The ways of God "are pleasantness, 
 and all his paths are peace," but she finds nothing save 
 sorrow in the way and path which she has taken-^here- 
 fore she is not in the way which she ought to have went. 
 Another man pays his addresses to her ; by no means 
 calculated to make her a suitable companion — but he has 
 large possessions ; and this being the object her parents 
 and friends have in view they do and say all they can to 
 get her consentable. But parents should remember, that 
 they can no more love for their children, than they can 
 eat and drink for them. Through their intreaties she is 
 prevailed on to give him her hand, while her affections 
 are placed on another. Thus she marries for the love of 
 her parents — and goes with a heavy heart to the marriage 
 bed. They ha^e laid a foundation to make her unhappy 
 while she lives ; and may I not say, more than probable, 
 to procure her future misery ! For how can she be happy 
 Avith a man whom she does not love ! " How can two 
 walk together except they be agreed?" Where there is 
 no agreement there can be no union, and where there is 
 no union, there can be no happiness. As the parents are 
 not so immediately concerned therein as the child, they 
 act very improperly in over-persuading their child to 
 marry. For if she is unhappy in such marriage, she will 
 have cause to reflect on them, and place her misery to 
 their account ; while she waits for the hour to come to 
 end her existence, and terminate the misery which she 
 feels ! Marriage was intended for the mutual happiness 
 of the sexes — for the woman w^as given to the man to be 
 " an help meet for him," Gen. ii. 18. Marriage is an 
 emblem of that union which subsists between Christ and 
 his Church, Eph. v. 32. Solomon saith, " Whoso findeth 
 a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the 
 Lord," — Prov. viii. 22. Again, " a prudent wife is from 
 the Lord." — Prov. xix. 14. 1 therefore conclude that a 
 happy marriage is the greatest blessing and consolation 
 which can be enjoyed on this side of eternity, next to the 
 love of God in the soul. Of course an unhappy marriage 
 is the greatest curse which is endured on this side of hell, 
 
MATRIMONY. 169 
 
 next to the horrors of a guilty conscience. Quitting this, 
 I pass on to observe, that many make themselves unhappy 
 after marriage. I shall 1st. Notice some things in the 
 conduct of men. 2dly, In the conduct of women. 3dly, 
 Point out some complex eases, 1st, It frequently happens 
 that wicked men pay their addresses to religious women ; 
 and in order to accomplish their desire, pretend to have a 
 great regard for piety, promise to do all in their power 
 to assist them on their way to heaven, and call God to 
 bear witness to a lie that they will be no hindrance to 
 them, &c, and many go so far as to pnt on the outward 
 garb of religion that they may more easily betray with a 
 kiss ! But shortly after marriage the wolf sheds his coat, 
 and openly avows his dislike to the ways of godliness, 
 and either directly or indirectly declares that his wife 
 shall not enjoy the privileges of the gospel. Here the 
 wife is convinced of the insincerity of his promise, which 
 makes her doubt the sincerity of his affection for her; the 
 house becomes divided, and the foundation of their future 
 misery is laid ; and it will be a mercy of God, if they are 
 not a means of peopling the regions of the damned, and 
 at last go down to the chambers of death together. 2dly, 
 Some men pretend to respect their wives — the wife looks 
 up to her husband as her head for protection, and, as a 
 reasonable woman, expects him to redress her grievances. 
 But alas : how is she disappointed ! For he approbates 
 that in others which he could prevent without any loss 
 of property, or character ; and appears to delight in hex- 
 misery. Instance those who have religious wives, and 
 suffer drinking, swearing, frolicking, gambling, dec. about 
 their houses. Is it not natural for such women to con- 
 clude their husbands have a greater regard for such wicked 
 beings than themselves ? If so, how can my husband 
 have that regard for me which he ought to have ? And 
 what becomes of that scripture which saith, " so ought 
 men to love their wives as their own bodies : he that 
 loveth his wife loveth himself." — Eph. v. 28. Again, 
 Col. iii. 19. "Husbands love your wives, and be not 
 bitter against them." 3dly, A great many men stay away 
 from home unnecessarily, spend their time in drinking, 
 &.c. expending their money in the taverns, which ought 
 to go to the support of their families, while their wives 
 
170 REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 .have not the necessaries of iife. and are labouring night 
 and day to keep their children from starving. Thus many 
 families are brought to disgrace and misery by the wick- 
 edness of husbands. But one is ready to say, I provide 
 well for my family 5 and am I not at liberty to go and 
 come when I please ? Yes, as far as is expedient, but no 
 farther, if you do not wish to forfeit your wife's confi- 
 dence. I ask, what must be the feelings of a woman 
 left in such a case, when she knows her husband has no 
 lawful business to detain him from home ? What con- 
 clusion can she more rationally draw than this : My com- 
 pany is disagreeable to him. therefore he is determined to 
 have as little of it as possible. The society of others is 
 more pleasing to him than tliat of his family ; therefore 
 he seeks pleasure abroad ?" Here grounds are given ibr 
 her to suspect his virtue ; and it is very common for 
 women to think such men have their misses from home, 
 which is too often the case. Reflect for a moment what 
 must be the sensations of a delicate woman, to hear that 
 her bosom friend lies intoxicated among the swine in 
 the streets. I am certain from observation that no woman 
 can be happy with a drunken man; therefore I am bold to 
 say wherever you see such a thing, you see an unhappy 
 family — and except such persons repent and get forgive- 
 ness, they will assuredly be damned, however rich, hon- 
 ouraole, and wise they may be. For St. Paul ranks 
 drunkenness among the works of the flesh, and positively 
 declares, " they who do such things shall not inherit the 
 kingdom of God," Gal. v. Therefore I would advise all 
 young ladies, if they vvish to be happy in time or eter- 
 nity, to avoid such young men as hanker about the 
 taverns, and have not respect enough for their own cha- 
 racters to raise them above a level with the beasts ! — 
 For beasts do not get drunk. They who get drunk 
 when young, are apt to be sots when old. Moreover, 
 a great many sins flow from that of drunkenness, a 
 few of which I shall here mention, 1st, It brings 
 on disorders to their destruction, which, 2nd, prevents 
 their usefulness as worthy members in society. 3d, 
 Shortens their days, which is a species of murder, the 
 most heinous of all crimes. 4th, A bad example before 
 others. 5th, Procures a family scandal. 6th, His money 
 
MATRIMONY. 17J 
 
 is laid out for that whieh is worse than if thrown mt& 
 the fire ; which, 7th, Prevents his usefulness as 3 charit- 
 able man. 8th, Is a breach of God^s law, 9th, Quenches 
 the Divine Spirit. lOthy Exposes his family to want. — 
 11th, Liable to bring a burthen on the country. 12thy 
 Deprives him of the power of reason ; which, ISth^ 
 Makes him liable to injure his friends and commit every 
 horrid depredation. And such men as will get drunk and 
 then abuse their wives, do not deserve the name of men, 
 for they have not the principle of men^ but may be called 
 the devil's swill-tub walking upright ; .md such deserve ai 
 dose of eel tea, i. e. spirituous liquor in which a living- 
 eel has been slimed. 4thly, There are men who break 
 the contract by defiling the marriage bed — but this is 
 thought to be no scandal by many who are guilty.* — 
 
 * Paley observes, that, on the part of the man who solicits the chas- 
 tity of a married woman, it certainly includes the crime of seduction, 
 and is attended witli mischief still more extensive and complicated ; 
 it creates a new sufferer, an injured husband upon whose affection is 
 inflicted a wound, the most pamful and incurable that human nature 
 knows. The infidelity of the woman is aggravated by eruelty to heF 
 children, who are generally involved in their parents^ sharne, and 
 always made unhappy by their quarrel. The marriage vow is wit- 
 nessed before God, and accompanied with circumstances of aolemnky 
 and religion which approach to the nature ot an oath. The married 
 offender, therefore, incurs a crime little short of perjury, and the 
 seduction of married women is little less than subordination of per- 
 jury. But the strongest apology for adultery is the prior transgres- 
 sion of the other party j and so far, indeed, as the bad eftectaof adul- 
 tery are anticipated by the conduct of the husband or wife vihA oflenda 
 first, the guilt of the second offender is extenuated. But this ean 
 never amount to a justification, unless it could be shown thai the 
 obligation of the marriage vow depends upon the conviction of reci- 
 procal fidelity ; a construction which appears founded neither in ex- 
 pediency, nor in terms of the vow, nor in the design of the legislature^ 
 v/hich prescribed the marriage rite. To consider the offence upon 
 the footing of provocation, therefore, can by no means vindicate re- 
 taliation. "Thou ahak not commit adulteiry/* it must ever be remem- 
 bered, was an interdict delivered by God himself. The crime haa 
 been punished in almost all ages and nations. By the Jewish law it 
 was punishable with death in both parties, where either the woman 
 was married, or both. Among the Egyptians adultery, in the man 
 v.as punished by a thousand lashes, with rods, and in the woman by 
 the loss of her nose. The Greeks put out the eyes of the adulterers^ 
 Among tl^e Romaus it was punished by baniahiuentj cutting off \h» 
 
172 REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 Now take notice, a man of good principles thinks as 
 much of his word as his oath, therefore will be true to 
 his engagements, and will fulfil that promise made before 
 witnesses, to " forsake all other women, and keep to his 
 wife only, so long as they both shall live, to live with her 
 after God's holy ordinance." Now I ask, is adultery 
 God's ordinance? No, for he forbids adultery, Exod. xx. 
 14. He who breaks his most sacred engagements is not 
 to be confided in. Matrimonial engagements are the most 
 sacred— therefore he who breaks his matrimonial engage- 
 ments is not to be confided in, 5thly, Some men have 
 an unhappy temper; are morose and peevish — and though 
 their wives do all they can, or as they may, it is impossi- 
 ble to please them. They are easily angered, view a 
 mote until it looks as large as a mountain ; one word 
 brings on another, at length they proceed from words to 
 blows, until they become so large that one bed cannot 
 hold them both. Many of our eyes and ears have been 
 witness to this shameful conduct ; the jarring string of 
 discord runs through all the family ; they are like devils 
 incarnate ; and if a person happens to be in the family 
 who has never been used to such conduct, would he not 
 be almost led to think he had gotten into the territories of 
 the damned ? What is here said of the man. is applica- 
 ble to a great many women. |I3=" A wounded bird will 
 flutter. There are too many causes for me to cite under 
 this head. I leave your minds to take them in while I 
 pass on to the next thing under consideration, which \vas 
 to notice some things in the conduct of women, which 
 make unhappy marriages. 
 
 1st. There are some Avomen who are so unfortunate as 
 to miss the path of virtue, prior to their being married.* 
 
 ears, noses, and sewing the adulterers in sacks, and throwme^them 
 into the sea; scourging, burning, &c. &c. In Spain and Poland 
 they were ahnoet as severe. The Saxons formerly burnt the adul- 
 tress, and over her ashes erected a gibbet, whereon the adulterer was 
 hanged. King Edmund in this kingdom, ordered adultery to be pun- 
 ished in the same manner as homieiile. Canute ordered the man to 
 be banished, and the woman to have her nose and ears cut off. 
 
 * Fornication, whoredom, or the act of incontinency between 
 single [>ersons ; for if eitherpf the parties be married, it is adultery. ' 
 
MATRIMONY. 173 
 
 Now although they may pass for virgins, they are not 
 such in reality — any more than base metal is genuine. — 
 And notwithstanding they may deceive a man until the 
 marriage knot is tied, that imposition may be known in 
 future, Deut. xxii. This being the case it is impossible 
 for the man to love her as he ought, or otherwise would: 
 here is a source from whence misery flows in the very 
 beginning ; as Solomon saith, Prov. xii. 4. " A virtuous 
 woman is a crown (or ornament) to her husband — but she 
 that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." He 
 must know that one person at least knows this as well as 
 himself; this causes him to be ashamed, while she be- 
 comes as rottenness in his bones; for the impression is 
 not easily worn off. I hope these observations will not 
 be forgotten by my female readers, whose virtue yet 
 remains clear and sound as the crystal glass. 2d. God 
 has placed the man as governor in the family, and he is 
 
 While scripture drives no sanction to thoae austerities which have 
 been imposed on men under the idea of religion, so, on the other 
 hand, they give no liberty for the indulgence of any propensity that 
 would either mitigate against our own interest or that of others. It 
 is vain to argue the innocency of fornication fixim the natural pas 
 sions implanted in us, since "marriage is honorable in ail," and 
 wisely appointed for the prevention of those evils w^hich would oth- 
 erwise ensue ; and besides, the existence of any natural propensity 
 in us, is no proof that it is to be gratified without any reatrictiona.-- 
 That fornication is both unlawful and unreasonable, may be easily 
 inferred, if we consider, 1. That our Saviour expressly declares this 
 to be a crime. Mark vii. 21 to 23 : 2. That the scriptures declare 
 that fornicators cannot inherit the kiiigdom of God. 1 Cor. vi, 9. 
 Heb. xiii. 16, Gal. v. 19 to 22 — 23. Fornication sink* into a mere 
 brutal commerce, a gratification which was designed to be the cement 
 of a sacred, generous, and tender friendship: 4. It leaves the mainte- 
 nance and education of children, as to the father at least, utterly un- 
 secured: 5, It strongly tempts the guilty mother to guard herself 
 from infamy by methods of procuring abortion, which not only de 
 stroys the child, but often the mother : 6, It disqualifies the deluded 
 creatures to be either good wives or mothers, in any future marriage, 
 ruining that modesty which is the guardian of nuptial happiness : 
 7. It absolutely disqualifies the man for the best satisfactions— thoae 
 of truth, virtue, innocent gratifications, tender and generous friend- 
 ship : It often perpetuates a disease which may be 'accounted for one 
 of the sorest maladies of human nature, and the eft'ects of which are 
 said to visit the constitutions of even distant generations. 
 
m REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 styled,, " head of the woman," Eph. v. 23. Now there 
 are some women, though they promise to "live after 
 God's ordinance," are not willing to do it, hut wish to be 
 head themselves; (according to the vulgar saying, put 
 the petticoat on the man and wear the breeches them- 
 selves,) claiming superior equality*— whatever is to be 
 done, they must give directions, the man durst not bar- 
 gain without leave, and if he does his wife's tongue runs 
 as though it would never stop. What does it argue ? It 
 argues great straight I, and little crooked w— that the 
 woman thinks herself possessed of great wisdom, and 
 her husband ignorant in the extreme ; and sets him aside 
 as a mere cypher. But so far is this from being a trait of 
 wisdom, that it proves the reverse ; for a wise woman 
 will reverence and obey her husband, according to Eph. 
 V. 22, 23. 1 Pet. iii. 1. Moreover it argues self-impor- 
 tance, to see people climbing to the high seat of power 
 where they have no business. IT^ Self-importance flows 
 from ignorance. If the man is a man of sense and spirit, 
 he is not willing to give up that which properly belongs 
 to him, viz. the rein of government, of course the contest 
 which begins in words frequently ends in blows. Thus 
 many women by assuming to themselves a prerogative 
 which does not belong to them, make unhappy families. 
 Women by indulging a mean opinion of their husbands, 
 become ashamed of them ; but this can happen in no 
 case where there is not a want of information and judg- 
 ment. If you stooped in marrying him, do not indulge 
 the thought that you added to his respectability ; never 
 tell him " you lifted him out of the ashes," for it will be 
 hard for you to extricate yourself from this difficulty. — 
 " If you stooped of necessity because you could get no 
 one else, the obligation is on your own side. And if you 
 could get a better companion why did you marry him 1 
 If you stooped of choice, Avho ought to be blamed but 
 yourself? Besides, it will be well to remember when 
 you became his wife he became your head, and your sup- 
 posed superiority was buried in that voluntary act." 3d. 
 
 ♦ " Whip MY dogs because MY dogs did not watch MY 
 Give MY dogs no supper, ^^M Y carl ! !" 
 
MATRIMONY. 175 
 
 There are many young women, who in order to marry 
 well, appear very mild, very affectionate and very decent 
 in their persons, houses, &c. (frequently using an air of 
 affectionate and speaking with faultering voices.) Some 
 young gentleman wishing to get a companion of this 
 description, offers his hand to one of these "jackdaws 
 dressed in peacock feathers" — the nuptials are celebrated, 
 her wishes are answered, the cloak is laid aside, and she 
 soon appears what she is in reality. The innocency o4* 
 the lamb is lost in the fierceness of the lion ; the affection 
 of the dove in the cruelty of the ostrich ; and the cleanli- 
 ness of the sheep in the filthiness of the swine. These 
 properties are bad in the abstract, but far worse when they 
 meet together. Filthiness is the fruit of laziness. Go 
 to the house where a lazy woman bears rule ; examine 
 the floor, the furniture, the bedding, the linen, the child- 
 ren, and last of all herself, and see what an agreement 
 throughout the Avhole — every thing is out of fix ; and if 
 she is a professor of religion, you may, without erring 
 far, form a rational judgment of the state of her soul, 
 from the appearance of her body. Laziness is inconsis- 
 tent with the gospel of Christ, and with the spirit of 
 Christianity ; for St. Paul told the Thessalonians to note 
 such " a man, and have no company with him, that he 
 may bs ashamed," 2 Thess. iii. 14. Moreover, a lazy 
 Christian is as great a solecism as an honest thief, a sober 
 drunkard, a chaste harlot, or a holy devil. But it may be 
 asked — what are the evils that accrue from dirty houses, 
 &c. I answer, 1st. If a gentleman or lady visits you, 
 they have no appetite to eat or drink in your houses ; 
 and what are your feelings when you are certain of the 
 cause ? 2d. They can have no satisfaction in your beds, 
 they smell so offensive, and are so infested with hungry 
 night walkers, which thirst for human blood. 3d. The 
 very disagreeableness of the air, causes them to wish to 
 make their escape, lest they should be seized with putrid 
 or malignant fevers, which might terminate in death. — 
 4th. Many diseases originate there from, which are pro- 
 ductive of the most fatal consequences to the family. — 
 5th. Thereby you transmit a curse to your children ; for 
 the children, in common, pattern after their parents — and 
 as they do with you, so will they do when they get to 
 
i76 EEFLECTIONS ON 
 
 themselves. Therefore says one, " Take care of the 
 breed." There is no excuse sufficient to justify those who 
 are able to work and live in dirt, where water is plenty, 
 and may be had for nothing : Therefore I would advise 
 all persons who value their health, to shun such places 
 as they would a city where the plague is in full rage. — 
 Now if a man is thus taken in, how can he be happy, pro- 
 vided he has never be accustomed so to liv« ? And if h« 
 has, by seeking a woman from whom he expects better 
 things, he clearly evinces his dissatisfaction in that man- 
 »er of life. But finding out the deception, he has no 
 heart to work ; takes to drink, to drown his sorrow. Here 
 we behold another cause of family misery, or unhappy 
 marriages. 4thly. It sometimes is the case, that the wife, 
 for want of due consideration, as it relates to his constitu- 
 tion and inclination,* treats him, as an husband, with 
 
 ♦ "In the Jewish constitutions, there are some things not only 
 curious, but useful, respecting marriage. 'There are four causes 
 which induce men to marry : 1. Impure desire, 2-. To get riches, 3. 
 To become honourable. 4! For the glory of God, Those who marry 
 through the first motive, beget wicked and rebellious children. Those 
 who marry for the sake of riches, have the curse of leaving them to 
 ■others. Those who marry for the sake of aggrandizing their family, 
 their families shall be diminished. Those who marry to promote the 
 glory of God, their children shall be holy, and by them shall the true 
 shurch be increased.' 
 
 ' ' Let the husband render unto the wife due ftencrofencc.— Though 
 our version is no translation of the original, yet few people are at a 
 loss for the meaning; and the context is sufficiently plain. Some 
 have rendered the words, not unaptly, the matrimonial tiebt, or con- 
 jugal duty ; that which a wife owes to her husband, and the husband 
 to his wife ; and which they must take care mutually to render, else 
 alienation of affection will be the infallible consequence ; and this, in 
 numberless instances, has led to adulterous connections. In such 
 cases, the wife has to blame herself for the infidelity of her husband; 
 and the husband for that of his wife. What miserable work has 
 been made in the peace of families, by a wife or husband pretending 
 to be wiser than the apostle, and too holy and spiritual to keep the 
 commandments of God I 
 
 '* The wife hath not j^ower, c^-c. — Her person belongs to her hus- 
 band ; her husband's person belongs to her; neither of them has any 
 authority to refuse what the other has a matrimonial right to demand. 
 The woman that would act so, is either a knave or a fool. It would 
 bs triflmg to attribute her ooidijct to any othsr cauBS than weaknesa 
 
MATRIMONY. 177 
 
 neglect: which makes a bad impression on his mind that 
 is not easily erased, but tends to wean his affections from 
 her, and exposes him to the temptations of others, till she 
 becomes a burden, and he wishes her out of the way as a 
 rival. Thus she is blind to her own happiness, and pro- 
 cures her own destruction. Quitting this, I pass on to 
 the third thing under consideration ; in which I am to 
 point out some complex cases, in which either party may 
 be guilty. And 1st. That odious practice of talking 
 against each other, and exposing their weakness to those 
 whom it doth not concern. For this is only exposing 
 one^s self! and is attended with concomitant evils; and 
 a great incalculable mischief will ensue — among which 
 will lie ambition, and a desire to retaliate with revenge ! 
 
 2dly. A desire for the mastery — cannot or will not bear 
 contradiction ; but must have the last word ! Here, from 
 calling each other " dear" and " honey 1" there will be a 
 spirit of bitterness, and finally give each other the lie — 
 and perhaps a separation may ensue from some trifling 
 circumstance ; like the man and his wife who disputed 
 whether it was a mouse or a rat that ran across the hearth 
 — their friends got them to settle — make up— but it was 
 a rat — let it be a rat, replied the man — this finished it. 
 
 3dly. A desire to make a show above their income, 
 which the judicious reflection of the other opposes — starve 
 the belly, to make the back and head look gay I And 
 even among the rich, as well as poor, what misery and 
 unhappiness there exists ! — Go to the middle class to find 
 virtue, and look at Ag'ur^s prayer! 
 
 4thly. A man or woman marries one who has former 
 children — partiality is shown : one is an idol, and another 
 is beaten and starved ; what is the consequence? — When 
 vexed — 1 had a husband once I He is gone now ! Never 
 was a man like him ! When, perhaps, the present may 
 be twenty times as good as him. The false epitaphs on 
 the tomb-stones of the dead, in relation to their true cha- 
 
 or folly. She does not love her husband; or she loves some oue else 
 better than her husband; or e'se she 'makes pretensions to a fancied 
 
 sanctity, unsupported bv scripture or common sense." Vide Dr» 
 
 Clarice's Commentary, ( Cor. vii. 2, 3, 4. 
 
ITS REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 racter, is specific of this ; and the many lies that are told 
 about the deceased!* 
 
 5th. Sometimes the spirit of Jealousy arises from an 
 evil surmising. Shadows then will appear like a sub- 
 stance ; and conjecture amounts to reality with them. — 
 Reason is laid aside. Their suspicion amounts to an 
 inquisition : and this excites them to let out an accusa- 
 tion, even to a condemnation of the object. Jealousy, 
 once admitted, contaminates the mind, and is manifest 
 in their spirit, if not through all their conduct. This must 
 divide their hearts, and lays a foundation for their future 
 misery I The tears and protestations of the innocent are 
 construed as so many marks of guilt ; and plainly show 
 that "jealousy is as cruel as the grave'' — and to such 
 nothing will appear to go right. 
 
 Here grounds are given to suspect her for such rash 
 judgment, when he is conscious of innocence in himself 
 —of course she must sink in his estimation j and hi^ 
 treatment will be apt to follow accordingly. 
 
 Therefore never listen to the tales of a whisperer about 
 or against your companion — nor believe any evil concern- 
 ing them without the best of evidence. For division, 
 once generated in a family — farewell to peace ! Remem- 
 h2T your own weakness ; but realize the other's worth 
 and their virtues! 
 
 1st. I would advise all young people, male and female, 
 to get religion ; by which you will be better qualified to 
 do your duty to your God and yourselves, being under the 
 influence of Divine Grace ; if you keep an eye single to 
 the glory of God, you may have a guide to direct you to 
 a person, such as will make you a partner, who will be 
 willing to share with you in all your sorrows. Do not 
 look so much at property nor beauty as good sense, virtue, 
 
 ♦ Wept night and day at the tomb— no more comfort— all my love 
 and joy is for ever gone — but afterward formed favourable ideas of the 
 JSerjeant— who, to understand female nature, tad scraped acquaint- 
 ance, and found he could smoke tobacco — wished to be off; and eb- 
 Berved that he was a deserter from the army — and two pounis offered 
 to place his head on a pole at the forks of roads ! She replied — dig up 
 my husband, &c. and they will not know but the head ia yours— 
 l^- Many wept, and yet would cut off the head ! 
 
MATRIMONY. 179 
 
 and piety. Avoid as much as possible the company of 
 Sjuch as are not afraid to sin themselves ; knowing that if 
 it is in their power, they will lead you into that gulf of 
 iniquity which has swallowed up thousands ; *" evil com- 
 munications corrupt good manners:" (or rather good 
 morals, as is intended,) and a companion of fools shall be 
 destroyed. Get a person who will love you fropi a sense 
 of 4uty to God. This foundation, if beauty and fortune 
 fail, standeth sure ; and then you need not fear that such 
 a cpnjpanion will desert you in the day of trouble. If 
 you both love God, it will be impossible for you not to 
 love each other. This being the case, you may always 
 have a paradise at home, and be more happy in each 
 other's cornpany than with any other person under the 
 canopy of heaven. As many of our young friends have 
 been called froni tirne to eternity before they had time to 
 settle themselves in the world, it ought to be a warning 
 to you not to put off your return to God until you get 
 married; for before that time cgmes you may be numberr 
 ed with the dead, and lie down between the clods of the 
 valley ; and if without religion you are cut off in the 
 bloom of youth, how soon will all your earthly joys come 
 to an end, and an eternity of misery commence ! But if 
 you get and keep religion, whether you niarry or not, it 
 shall be well with you. If you marry such a person as X 
 advise, when your companion dies you ipay l^ave a well- 
 grounded hope that the ever-faithful companion of all 
 your cares is gone to rest in " Abraham's bosom ;" and 
 after serving God together in time, you may spend an 
 eternity of pleasure together in praising God and the 
 Lamb. ^ 
 
 * Perhaps aome will say, " the subject Ib too plam, and tends to 
 hurt delicate feelings!" cut let it be remembered that it is not more 
 plain than important. And delicacy must give way to propriety, 
 when truth and matter of tact demand it. Moreover, some delicate 
 people have prejudices which are founded in error, and yet, when 
 matrimony is treated plainer in romantic novels, will greedily relish 
 and digest it! Observe, they exhibit characters which no where in 
 real lire exist ; and yet young minds are too frequently captivat-jd, 
 and thereby form an idea ; and must of course be dis- 
 appointed, and consequently made unhappy, perhaps, for life. This 
 ia one of the many evils of novels to society ! 
 14* 
 
ISO REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 24 I would advise such as have companions, to con- 
 sult each other's happiness, both as it relates to time and 
 "eternity. As husbands, love your wives ; and as wives, 
 see that you reverence your husbands; try and find out 
 each other's dispositions; consider your own weakness ; 
 and think not any thing too hard to be done by you to 
 render each other happy, (save the giving up of your con- 
 science.) If Heaven has blessed you with a good com- 
 panion, esteem it as the greatest temporal blessing which 
 can be enjoyed, and be very careful not to abuse such a 
 gift ; remember that eternal things are connected there- 
 with, and if you misuse your companion you will have to 
 render an account to God for the same ; for " God will 
 bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, 
 whether it be good, or whether it be evil."* 
 
 If you have a bad companion, you made your own con- 
 tract, or at least consented thereunto ; therefore make the 
 best you can of a bad bargain ; and avoid every measure, 
 as far as possible, (to answer it in the eternal world,) 
 which might tend to make you more unhappy. If you 
 have religion, walk with Zacharias and Elizabeth in all 
 the ways of God blameless. If you have no religion, 
 your own consciences testify that all is not well with 
 you, and God himself is witness to the many promises 
 you have broken: therefore it is high time for you to 
 begin to think more seriously on your latter end, for many 
 of you are past the meridian ot life ; your sun is going 
 down in death : others hover around the shores of time — 
 
 ♦ Never put your property out ^your hands to be dependant on 
 your children — for they will not feel nor do with you as you with 
 
 them when children! The son that must be hired to reform, 
 
 will deny the loan of a horse — the old man must walk on 
 
 foot ; and is used and wished out of the way as a piece of useless 
 lumber! ! ! 
 
 Set no example before your children but what is worthv for them 
 to copy after; but use your united parental influence to preserve 
 their morals, and stimulate them to noble principles. Mothers par- 
 ticularly are bound by the strongest obligations, (however lew realize 
 it,) to preserve the chastity and virtue of their daughters; for on this, 
 in a great measure, depends much of their welfare for time, if not for 
 eternity; as a woman without a character is like a body without a 
 soul ; of course female education ought not to be neglected. 
 
MATRIMONY. 181 
 
 but one step between you and the bar of God ! With 
 others the sun of life will go down at noon — eternal 
 things depend upon life's feeble strings ! — Heaven lost, 
 it's lost for ever ! — Careless man I — Prayerless woman ! 
 Why will you die ? Are you greedy of eternal pain ? — 
 What harm did God ever do, that you are determmed not 
 to be reconciled to him ? Are you so in love with sin, 
 that you will risk the loss of heaven, and the torment of 
 hell, for a momentary enjoyment? — O! be wise — seek 
 salvation — fly from the gathering storm ! Believe in 
 Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved. So shall you 
 enjoy peace in life, tranquility in death, and croAvns of 
 victory in eternity. Id* Serious consideration is the 
 first step in matters of religion, with a fixed resolution to 
 avoid whatever you discern to be wrong. Having vour 
 mind in a studious frame of inquiry after God's will, to 
 do it. Never lie down in rest without committing your- 
 self into the protection of kind providence — and as you 
 awake give thanks to the hand that kept you ; thus begin, 
 spend, and close every day with God — then he will be 
 thy Father and thy Friend in Jesus Christ. Amen. 
 
 Most evils prevalent in society have their origin from 
 the influence of example, by •which children are contami- 
 nated, and the seeds are sown in the prejudice of their 
 education, to the great injury of themselves and others, 
 beyond any possible calculation ! 
 
 The poor opinion which mankind entertain of each 
 other, and the little confidence they are pleased to place 
 in strangers, as well as acquaintance, exemplify the 
 truth ; which shows the corruption of their very raising. 
 For example: the two first things generally learnt to 
 children in their infancy is to be deceitful and lie. — 
 The mother is going out, the child cries to go too ; the 
 mother promises to bring the "pretties," with no inten- 
 tion to perform : the child is deceived and disappointed, 
 and confidence is forfeited. " I will whip, &c. &c, if you 
 don't hush," — but the child is not influenced, knowing 
 the scare crow. 
 
 Thus taught to deceive and lie, they become expert at 
 the trade, and then must be whipt for the -very thing the 
 
 Earents had taught them — whereas if the exam^de had 
 een good, and all foolish, wicked, evil, improprieties 
 
182 REFLECTIONS ON, &c. 
 
 were discountenanced by a proper line of conduct, then a 
 blessing would be transmitted to posterity, according to 
 the promise, and as exemplified by Abraham. 
 
 It is a rarity that young women go to the leeWard with 
 a broken * * ♦ ; provided the seeds of modesty, innocence 
 and virtue, are sown in the mind at an early age : where- 
 as, those mothers who did not watch over their daughters, 
 as " guardian angels," are apt to let them run at random : 
 hence many get their ancles scratched, if no more! — 
 Fathers and sons may also take a hint ! 
 
 The tyranny of parents, as well as too great liberty, is 
 equally pernicious — also their being divided in their family 
 government: likewise backbiting, flattery, &c. &c. 
 
 iC^ But remember the day of retribution, and conduct 
 yourselves accordingly ! For first impressions are most 
 durable, therefore the propriety and necessity of beginning 
 right, to end well : as the consequence of starting wrong, 
 you will for ever continue in error. 
 
 Hence the propriety of " Consideration,*' and a proper 
 exercise of " Judgment," as rational creatures, who need 
 Divine assistance, for which we should look accordingly ! 
 
A FEW HINTS 
 TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, 
 
 Many persons make their own trouble ; and also mate 
 a great deal of unnecessary trouble for others, as the 
 effects of sinning against God ! 
 
 A fortune in a person is better than one with them ! — 
 For if you obtain their HAND as the key-way to Money, 
 what will it all avail if their person is disagreeable, and 
 their conduct calculated to render you miserable and un- 
 happy ? 
 
 The marks of a fortune in a roan at the market, are, 
 
 1st, HONESTY ; for where this does not exist there 
 can be no confidence or fidelity. 
 
 2d. INDUSTRY ; for without this a man will be no 
 good provider; and if he has a property it will squander, 
 and leave him. He will be of little or no service to God 
 or man, — but a pest or a curse to those about him ! 
 
 3d. A GOOD REPUTATION ; for heinrho regards not 
 his character will never be respectable in society; of course, 
 he will transmit a curse to posterity, in a family or social 
 point of view ! The meek are to inherit the earth, — the 
 saints to take possession of the kingdom. Hence the 
 seed of the righteous have blessings transmitted as the 
 answer of prayer, — but the wicked must be cut off! 
 
 4th. Self-command in temper ; which argues the ne- 
 cessity of inward religion, which will produce the prin- 
 ciple of humanity and generosity. 
 
 But it is a lamentable truth that many, both male and 
 female, are ignorant of many things which they ought 
 to be acquainted with before-hand, and have to learn 
 them afterwards ! This is an evil under the sun, and 
 ought to be remedied. There is a great fault even in the 
 upper circles of life. For those things that are the most 
 
184 REFLECTIONS ON, &c. 
 
 important are too superficial in the mode of education — 
 and others only recommendatory are most prominent. 
 
 Dancing. — What has the young lady to do with hop- 
 ping; after her marriage a few months? 
 
 MARKS IN A YOUNG WOMAN. 
 
 I 
 Ji 
 
 1. Honesty — but here custom has attached more to the 
 word, than when applied to any thing else or the opposite 
 gfinder. Hence female virtue may be compared to a Glass 
 Bowl, which when broken cannot be efficiently mended ! 
 Therefore let all my young innocent Female Readers 
 take good care both of SOUL and BODY ! 
 
 2. An even disposition— for when I go to an house, if 
 the Mistress does not want me there, she has it purely in 
 her power to let me know it. 
 
 3. Grood sense improved— which will make agreeable 
 company, and involves judicious economy. 
 
 4. Good religion in the Heart. 
 
 Let Parents, who wish their Children to become re- 
 spectable here and happy hereafter, timely begin, first 
 with example and then precept, before the tender twig — 
 seeing that first impressions are most durable and lasting. 
 
 Where those things meet in one pair, so as to concen- 
 trate them into one soul,— there is an union ; an indis- 
 soluble union in time and in eternity — if they are faithful, 
 
 " Mountains rise, and oceans roll, 
 Tp sever (such in vain !" 
 
OF PETTICOAT LAW, 
 
 Marriage has been considered an ecclesiastical affaif. 
 Hence divorces were obtained only from the ecclesiastical 
 Courts— except by "Common Law." — i. e. The poor 
 being unable to bear the expense of the former mode, 
 (which cost nigh to a thousand pounds, or 4,000 dollars,) 
 by consent of parties, the woman with a halter about her 
 neck, is lead into the market, where she is put up at auc- 
 tion; and goes off lo the highest bidder; who is generally 
 known beforehand. This being the com/mon custom 
 among the common People from time immemorial, be- 
 comes a precedent / and hence a " Common Law," — but 
 she is not bound to stay with the man who bids her oft', 
 but by her own consent ; although free from her former 
 husband. 
 
 A Fashionable Lady, judges oi personal merit by the 
 cut of his dress, his ruffles, ties his cravat well, wears his 
 hat well, has a fashionable coat, makes a graceful bow, 
 repeats the common chit-chat of the day, in an agreeable 
 manner, it is enough. He is, according to the technical 
 phrase, a genteel man. 
 
 If he has other qualifications ; they are of too little 
 importance to be taken into consideration. If he has not 
 these^ no other merit can save him from condemnation and 
 redicule. 
 
 The peace of a family depends more upon the woman, 
 than it does upon the man. For let the man do as he 
 may, to make things agreeable,— the Lady has it in her 
 power, to render it otherwise, if she pleases. And if he 
 comes home drunk, she, if so minded, can and will find 
 some way to render things tolerably agreeable to those 
 around. 
 
 The Gentlemen complained of the Ladies' fickleness 
 in love ; they accused the men of insincerity^ and both 
 partieb with much wit and pleasantry, threw the blame of 
 
186 REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 all mistakes in marriage mutually on each other. Observ- 
 ed Pollyanna, We complain of their insincerity. Are 
 we more sincere ? do not we act as much disguised as 
 they, who find us frail women, instead of angels ? Di- 
 vinities ! characters we foolishly assume; — and are we 
 pleased unless they compliment us, lift us up to the skies, 
 and pay us adoration 1 
 
 Marks to Estimate Real Worth. 
 
 1st. Honesty. 2d, Civility. 3d, Industry. 4th. Eco- 
 nomy. 5th, Humanity. 6th, Even Disposition. 7th, 
 Good Religion ! 
 
 The voice of whisper reported of a certain pair, who 
 had no Heir for seven years — The man made a certain 
 proposition to a neighbouring Widow Lady : — the condi- 
 tions of which were — that he should come in the dark, 
 and go in the dark ; bring cloth and money, &c. The 
 Widow privately informed the man's wife of the whole 
 affair with the arrangements therewith connected. And 
 it was agreed that the ivife should occupy the bed, &c. 
 which concerted plan succeeded. Tap, tap at the window 
 at the appointed hour — is admitted — fulfils the condition — 
 retires in due time. 
 
 The wife, in circumlocution, arrives home in season, to 
 make all appear as if she had remained at home — but at 
 length produces the booty from her Friend — and begins 
 to cut the cloth for garments ; and desires her husband to 
 accompany her to the store to buy trimmings, &c. with 
 the money in her hand, received from a friend! — 
 His feelings and cure may be more easily imagined than 
 described in the mind of fancy ! What was the result 1 
 But an HEIR in due time. 
 
 Here, then, a man committed adultery with his own 
 wife, according to Natural, Civil, Ecclesiastical and Com- 
 mon Law." But it is the motive which gives character 
 to the action ! 
 
 Milton intimates — When the sexes were equal, the 
 Lady must wander from the man, to labour alone ; because 
 he thought there was danger in disguise — and being to- 
 gether, would be more apt to be on their guard ; but she 
 to show her superiority of judgment and also her inde- 
 
MATRIMONY. 187 
 
 pendence by wisdom displayed, would have a separation 
 of work. 
 
 And falling in with the Tempter in disguise began a 
 chat then a taste of the apple ; and brought it to the man, 
 who yielded. 
 
 But on perceiving the mischief done, seemed to blame 
 the man, because he did not set up authority and forbid 
 and prevent her going. 
 
 When she first saw the man, in a sitting posture, pre- 
 tended, she did not know what it was — and when he rose 
 up, she pretended to be much affrighted ; and ran, appa- 
 rently with all her might : — but still, she did not run so 
 fast, but what she intended the old man should come t^p 
 with her ! 
 
 The example of Rebecca, to obtain the blessing for her 
 darling son, is an elucidation of female nature in modern 
 times. 
 
 The contrast of feeling in the mother of Moses, pa- 
 rentally, for his preservation ; and the sympathy in the 
 breast of Pharaoh's daughter, admits of reflection. 
 
 The request of Rachel and Hannah, is another channel. 
 
 The contention betwixt Rachel and Leah. The con- 
 duct of Michael (the daughter of Saul,) wife to David, in 
 a fit of Jealousy, forgetting her ow^n conduct, of living 
 with another man. 
 
 The conduct of Jael and Judith by deception and co- 
 quetry — another trait. 
 
 That of Joseph's Mistress and the wife of Job, exem- 
 plify another trait. 
 
 Cleopatra, the dueen of Egypt, outgeneraled her bro- 
 ther, and Julius Csesar, Mark Anthony and Augustus, in 
 her duplicity and intrigue, by skill and ability, peculiar to 
 the sex ; for they will out do and outgeneral the men, 
 nine times out of ten when they are bent to do their 
 prettiest, best and worst ; and so carry their point. 
 
 Hence when they are bad — they are capable of plans 
 and schemes that man would never think of. And when 
 they are good, will excel the very best of men, for virtue, 
 truth, fidelity, courage and patience in affliction ! 
 
 Their feelings and sensibility are more exquisite ; here 
 then love and attachment, affection and sympathy, exceed 
 15 
 
188 REFLECTIONS ON 
 
 the opposite gender — and so does their disgust, aversion, 
 hatred and revenge ! 
 
 The three pious Maries, excelled the Apostles and the 
 Soldiers too — by continuing with Him to the last ; and 
 were the first at the Vault while it was dark, under awful 
 circumstances, which made the soldiers afraid. 
 
 Buonaparte said he was never conquered until in the 
 ]>resence of the queen of Prussia ; a word to the wise is 
 enough ! 
 
 A Lady's oath, ^^ I donH choose to.'''' 
 
 The CHARACTER of a man is in the power of the 
 woman ; secondly, his PROPERTY is in the power of 
 the Woman ; thirdly, the LIBERTY of a man is in the 
 power of the woman ; fourthly, his LIFE is in the power 
 of the woman ! 
 
 For the WORD and OATH of the Female, in point 
 of " Commfin Law;" (i. e. Whisper, Slander and Re- 
 ports,) and secondly by "Statute Law," will be received 
 and believed before his. Such is thr ■[ nture of men ; and 
 such the influence of Women on socieiy. 
 
 Here then is a Compound Law, in this land, proceed- 
 ing from natural Law and Statute Law, which may involve 
 the Innocent, without a reciprocity or a possibility of re- 
 dress or an escape. 
 
 Thus the Petticoat still seems to govern the world ! 
 And it is done according to Law ! 
 
 Enf=" But if there was a " Court of Women" to " Try 
 Women ;" would it not be better for men ; and also more 
 fitted to keep the peace of families, than any mode now 
 adopted in this land ? 
 
 Yet there are but few women, but what would choose 
 to have an appeal from the jurisdiction of a Female Tri- 
 bunal, to that of Men ; rather than to be tried, judged and 
 sentenced by their own sex ! 
 
 But supposing they do choose? Look at their choice 
 and influence in the ten miles square, which contains two 
 big houses and three cities. 
 
 What is the influence of Petticoats there ? How many 
 leading men wait on the wives of others ? Have tl.eir 
 minds changed by female art, flattery, and intrigue, who 
 electioneer and gain the ascendency in the company of 
 
MATRIMOi\Y. 189 
 
 Voters? How many Laws are passed different than 
 otherwise would have been ! Gained and Lost ! 
 
 How many appointments are made or hindered by the 
 influence of the same. 
 
 The Balls or Levees, Routes, Masquerades, Gambling, 
 &c. &c. Time spent in that which is worse than bad ! 
 How much at the public expense — 34 cents the hour ! 
 How many hours in twenty-four, for the Public, in a sea- 
 son ? and otherwise, how much ? 
 
 Let the visiting stranger in the City and District ; say, 
 by calculation mathematically, and answer the question ! 
 
 Quere, Where on the Continent of North America, is 
 the SINK OF INIGtUITY ! 
 
 tZ^ Let the House of God be cleansi:d \ 
 
PARAPHRASE 
 
 ON 
 
 GENESIS xLix. 10. 
 
 BY LORENZO DOW. 
 
 *' The sceptre shall not depart from Jitdah, nor a 
 Law-Giver from between his feet, until Shiloh 
 COME : and unto him shall the gathering of the 
 
 PEOPLE Be!'^ 
 
 Mant are the opinions concerning the text ; and some 
 have taken ground that is untenable. Hence one may be 
 permitted to say with Elihu, I will also show mine opin- 
 ion. 
 
 First, then, What is a sceptre ? By reading Esther's 
 approach to the Monarch, and viewing the kingly monu- 
 ments of the Old World ; a man on the horse in statue, 
 with a significant roll in his hand, perhaps made of cop- 
 per ; about eighteen inches long and two or three inches 
 diameter ; denoting a sway of POWER in the superla- 
 tive degree. Hence the propriety of the expression, 
 "holding the sceptre." 
 
 This supreme power may be lodged in the hands of 
 one, few, or many ; as is now exemplified among the na- 
 tions. America has come nearer the standard of' equal 
 Rights and universal Suffrage, in their mode of economy : 
 and also in limiting and apportioning the division oi 
 power, than any other people hitherto known t 
 
PARAPHRASE, &c. 191 
 
 Jehovah, himself, was the " Law-Giver" of the ancient 
 Patriarchs; and held the "Legislative" prerogative ac- 
 cording to the Hebrew economy. But the " Executive" 
 and " Judicial" authority was lodged with men. 
 
 The laws of adultery and murder are nearly the same 
 among most nations in a state of society — from the soli- 
 tary ages of the world ; and both may be considered to 
 have had one origin. 
 
 The Judicial and Executive authority lodged in the 
 hand of a Patriarch was transmitted hereditary from the 
 Father to the eldest son, in point of right by order and 
 succession. 
 
 But, nevertheless, in that, there was exceptions to this 
 rule in certain cases ; so that the prerogative was trans- 
 ferred in certain cases from one branch of the family to 
 another ; which was exemplified in the case of Esau and 
 Jacob ; the former selling his " hirthrighV^ to the latter. 
 Also by right of succession, Reuben must have followed 
 Jacob in point of order ! but for his incestuous behaviour, 
 the order was transferred to Joseph, though Judah pre- 
 vailed. Compare 1 Chron. v. 1, 2. Gen. xlix. 3, 4. — 
 Numbers ii. 3, 4, and 10, 14. 
 
 Have we any evidence that Judah had a sceptre in a 
 Judicial and Executive point of view, in his person or 
 tribe? 
 
 Answer — he had : First in his person, in the case ol 
 his daughter-in-law, who was accused of infidelity — by 
 virtue of his executive and judicial authority, commanding 
 her to be brought, that she might be burnt. But her inno- 
 cence appearing, she was acquitted. Thus he possessed 
 a sceptre in his person. And Jacob, in truth and with 
 propriety, could say, prophetically, " The sceptre shall 
 not depart from Judah." 
 
 We have but a small account of the economy or state 
 of the Hebrews after Jacob uttered this prophecy, for 
 about one hundred and ninety-seven years, when they 
 came out of Egypt. 
 
 Here permit me to observe, that as language is not an 
 innate principle of nature ; as it involves ideas which are 
 received by or through our outer senses, or communicated 
 by inspiration to the inward feeling of the mind, or else 
 by the moral perception are digested and arranged in a 
 15* 
 
192 PARAPHRASE, &c 
 
 judicious way ; and the communication of those ideas, 
 through or by speech, require and involves the art of man. 
 
 The first man was an adult as he emanated from his 
 Maker's hand. And as there was a Law given him, fit- 
 ted to his capacity ; which circumstances involtPfes the 
 idea of language ; and follows as a consequence that the 
 Maker of man learnt man to talk ! 
 
 The Work of Creation is not a subject of knowledge, 
 but an object of faith. But to deny the doctrine of mira- 
 cles, is to deny the work of creation ; if nature came not 
 by nature, but by an act of Divine Power. And to deny 
 the work of creation, is to deny the Creator ; seeing it 
 must be the act which constitutes the character I And 
 hence atheism must be the order of the day. 
 
 But those who are not theoretically atheists, if they 
 are practically such, must admit the idea of a God, and 
 infer nature from Him! And that the first man should 
 not be too great a mystery to himself, but feel the force 
 of his dependence and obligation to his Creator and Go- 
 vernor, it may be admitted with propriety that God com- 
 municated to man what had happened each of the five 
 preceding days. And this once being communicated, he 
 in turn might communicate to another ; and so hand it 
 down by tradition, as his history of the flood is, among all 
 the heathen nations ! 
 
 What is obvious to sense, is a subject of knowledge. 
 And what a man knows, he is able to give a rational ac- 
 count of. And what Adam passed through subsequent, 
 must have been experimental. Of course he would be 
 able to give an account of that, in relation to his history 
 of the fall, &c. This being admitted, how easy could 
 the tradition have been handed down to the time of Moses, 
 when letters appeared to furnish a record. 
 
 According to the Mosaic account, Adam lived 930 
 years, and Methuselah 969, (1899,) and died the year 
 oefore the flood ; which happened 1658 from the Crea- 
 tion ; and would follow as a consequence, that Adam and 
 Methuselah must have been cotemporary about 243 years. 
 
 Shem was cotemporary with Methuselah 98 years, and 
 with Abraham 150 years, and with Isaac 50. Thus 
 there was but two intermediate persons necessary to con- 
 
PARAPHRASE, &c. IQS 
 
 nect the chain of tradition from Adam to Isaac, a period 
 of more 2000 years. 
 
 Levi was tlie great grandfather of Moses ; and cotem- 
 porary with his own grandfather, Isaac, a number of years. 
 
 As ^confirmation of the tradition of the Work of Crea- 
 tion being not merely ideal and fabulous, but as a truth 
 founded on fact, God himself proclaimed from the top of 
 Mount Sinai, in the hearing of 600, 000 men, besides their 
 women and children, so as to put it beyond all doubt that 
 it was no imposition on the mind, but must have been 
 Jehovah himself, as the author. And then delivered two 
 tables of stone, containing the proclamation of the ten 
 commands, embracing a short account of the work of 
 creation, and corroborates the same. 
 
 Thus we are indebted to God for the origin of letters, 
 as well as for the origin of language. 
 
 Man being formed the last, and probably toward or at 
 the close of the day — in the order of his time, he would 
 begin his reckoning on the " tSabbath,^^ which would be 
 the first day of his week ; and counting over six days 
 more would b?ing to another Sabbath, and the beginning 
 of another week — hence the origin of the first day of the 
 week being considered and regarded as the Sabbath by 
 the heathen. 
 
 But the day and time, for the beginning of the week 
 and of the year, was altered and changed, when the He- 
 brews came out of Egypt ; and would corroborate with 
 the old theory. 
 
 When the Hebrews were on their journey from Egypt 
 to Canaan, the tribe of Judah led on the van ; according 
 to the regulation and order of the cantonment; and also 
 was the most numerous and powerful of the whole. 
 
 Man to teach man ; as means in the hand of God. — 
 When Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, came to view the 
 burden which devolved on Moses, arising from the dis- 
 putes among the people, he recommended minor judges 
 — over tens, fifties, and hundreds, &c. which economy 
 was judiciously adopted; Exod. xviii. 13 to 34, &c. — 
 Numb. xi. 16. Deut. 13, 14. But still the burthen being 
 to great for Moses to bear, he besought God to kill him 
 outright, or give him auxiliary help. 
 
 The Lord then diiected seventy elders to be elected j 
 
194 PARAPHRASE, &c. 
 
 and the Lord said to Moses, " I will take of the spirit 
 which is in thee, and lay it upon them" — which when 
 done, they prophesied; sixty- eight together, but two re- 
 mained in the camp. And Joshua, being zealous for the 
 honour of Moses, and a stickler for good order^^an to 
 Moses, requesting him to rebuke them ! But he replied, 
 as every good man should do, Would to God that all the 
 Lord's People were prophets. 
 
 Those seventy Elders, of which Moses was the Presi- 
 dent, constituted the Sanhedrim, or Grand Council, or 
 the Highest Court among the Jews ; and from whose 
 judgment there was no appeal, when issued from their 
 tribunal. 
 
 This was the order and economy of God in the Hebrew 
 policy ; and of which order, there is no evidence of this 
 being abrogated, or made null and void, until after Jesus 
 Christ came upon the earth. 
 
 This Council acted the Executive and Judicial part in 
 the government and economy of the Hebrews, according 
 to that law given to them by their Law-Giver, who was 
 not to depart from them until '• Shitoh'''' come ; and unto 
 him should the gathering of the people be. 
 
 Some people have confined the sceptre, in the text, to 
 the house and lineage of David in that monarchical power 
 but the statement is founded in absurdity, and proves too 
 much. 
 
 First. The monarchy of the Hebrews was not of divine 
 origin, but originated in the will of man ; which may 
 plainly be seen by the Lord's remonstrance by the prophet 
 Samuel. 
 
 Secondly. The sceptre of David's line departed when 
 JZedekiah was carried to Babylon ; for he was the last. 
 
 Thirdly. If the Messiah was to come before the Ba- 
 bylonish captivity, no one can tell who, or where, or 
 whe^ he was. And 
 
 Fourthly. If he came then ; it would follow, as a con- 
 sequence, that all who came afterward, must be deemed 
 as impostors ; and would involve Jesus Christ in the 
 number. 
 
 And lastly. It Avould thereby null our Christ and his 
 religion ; and moreover give the Jew -completely the ad- 
 vantage in argument. And hence it is plain that the 
 
PARAPHRASE, &c, 195 
 
 ground must be considered as altogether untenable, and 
 improper for defence. 
 
 Joshua was the successor of Moses, and became Presi- 
 dent of the Council. And thus the scenes in the time of 
 the " Judges. ^^ 
 
 After the ten tribes separated, they were called Israel, 
 and established the worship of golden calves, in imitation 
 of the ox god of Egypt. And by this act, of necessity, 
 they expelled the Jewish policy, and neglect the govern- 
 ment of the Sanhedrim, which of course must be confined 
 to the tribe of Judah, from which the sceptre should not 
 depart until Shiloh come ! 
 
 About the time that monarchy was desired and set up 
 in the will of man, a bicifering of their politics gendered 
 the epithets, and was the beginning of that distinction, 
 "Israel" and "Judah ;" which, after the third monarchy, 
 ended in becoming two nations ; and may be characteris- 
 tic of those times in which we live ; when we hear the 
 distinction of political parties — F. and D. 
 
 Though the Apocrypha is not considered canonical, 
 yet it may be admitted as good historical evidence. The 
 case of the Judges, in the story of Susannah, shows the 
 Judiciary and Executive policy to have existed, and been 
 kept up among the Jews, according to their laws, even in 
 the time of the captivity. 
 
 Daniel was taken captive in the first year of the reign 
 of Nebuchadnezzer ; and in the second year Avas promot- 
 ed to become Prime Minister — at least in the province 
 of Babylon, as chief governor and ruler. And his three 
 companions were promoted into office likewise. And 
 Daniel continued, not only the reign of the twenty-nine 
 or thirty years of that monarch, but also beyond the time 
 of his successor, Evil-merodach, king of Babylon, and 
 Belshazzar likewise ; yea, when the city was taken by 
 Darius, and an hundred and twenty princes were appoint- 
 ed over an hundred and twenty provinces, who were to 
 give account to three Presidents, of whom Daniel was 
 chief; which shews the high estimation in which he stood, 
 and also the authority with which he was delegated to 
 act ; which continued until the time of Cyrus ; when the 
 edict was issued for volunteers to return to Jerusalem to 
 rebuild the Temple. 
 
196 PARAPHRASE, &c. 
 
 Moreover, it must be plain Irora the testimony of Ha- 
 man, in the book of Esther, that they did adhere to their 
 own laws ; the complaint that he entered about their dif- 
 ference and conduct, exemplifies it beyond dispute. And 
 furthermore, when Mordecai became Prime Minister to 
 the Persian empire, which extended from the Ganges to 
 Abyssinia; and from the eastern ocean to the Mediter- 
 ranean Sea, over an hundred and twenty-seven provinces, 
 with such extensive power ; it must be plain, as he was a 
 Jew, that his people must of consequence enjoy their laws 
 and rules. 
 
 When the emigrants went up to Jerusalem to built the 
 House of GOD — they had authority to levy fines, inflict 
 stripes, confiscate property, and also to execute death and 
 banishment. 
 
 Thus the Executive and Judicial authority was in 
 vogue. And Zerubbabel^ the son of Salathiel, (Matt. 1. 
 12 Ezra, ii. 2. and iii. 2, 8.) was President. 
 
 And if we examine the Grecian history, it will appear, 
 that when Alexander the Great was determined to extir- 
 pate them, that he was not only thwarted by a change 
 wrought in his mind, arising from the appearance of the 
 High Priest in his Pontificate dress -, but also, he estab- 
 lished them in peculiar privileges. 
 
 And when Antiochus would have overthrown their 
 mode of worship by his persecution, he was never able 
 fully to carry the same into effect ; but was frustrated by 
 the Maccabees ; who so far maintained independence, so- 
 cially, that their Laws were predominant in the land until 
 the time of the /?omj an power by Pompey ; who indulged 
 them in their privileges and opinions, never intruding upon 
 their ecclessiastical affairs. 
 
 And when the Wise men came from the East, inqiiir- 
 ing Where is he that is born King of the Jews? v/f find 
 Herod alarmed; who demanded of the Sanhedrim, or the 
 Grand Council, where it was written or foretold he should 
 be born ? Who, on examination, replied accordingly — 
 Bethlehem of Judea. 
 
 Thus we find the sceptre had not departed from Judah 
 until Shiloh come. 
 
 "We read concerning the captain of the Temple, in va- 
 rious places — of their imprisoning the Apostles. And 
 
PARAPHRASE, &c. 197 
 
 Pilate said, " YE have a guard." After setting •' watch 
 to keep the prison with all safety ;" arraigning Stephen 
 and the Apostles ; took counsel to put them to death. And 
 Stephen was executed according to the law form, by the 
 " witness;^ who to stone him, laid down their clotnes at a 
 young man's feet, whose name was Saul. 
 
 Of this Council was Nicodevncs, and Joseph of Anmsi- 
 thea, who consented not to the cruel sentence. 
 
 rsiicodemus said, we (not I) know that thou art a teach- 
 er come from God'. Hence, when they accused him of 
 casting out devils by Beelzebub, they spoke wilfully 
 against a better knowledge; and thereby committed the 
 unpardonable sin ; by blaspheming the Holy Ghost — by 
 affirming it was diabolical power. 
 
 When Paul was their prisoner, they said, " We would 
 have judged him;" but was prevented by the military of- 
 ficer from Rome. 
 
 Thus it will appear that they did consider themselves 
 a body politic, and adequate t© judge and execute accord- 
 ing to the law. 
 
 Jesus said, " They, sit in Moses' seat" — rwhich shows 
 that the seat of JMcses, was the order of GOD. 
 
 And that the seat was not yet vacated, but still in force-: 
 therefore the Mosaic dispensation Avas not abrogated. And 
 consequently, the words of the text may be considered as 
 strictly true'— The sceptre shall not depart from Judah ; 
 nor a Law-giver from between his feet, until Shiloh come ; 
 aiid unto him shall the gathering of the people be. 
 
 The sceptre did not depart from Judah until Shiloh 
 came. But what are we to understand by the Law-giver 
 and the feet ? 
 
 In the image Oi Nebuchadnezzar, we find the Head and 
 Breast, &.c. to refer to the succession of the different em- 
 pires, from the Babylonians to the Medes and Persians, 
 then the Greeks, and afterwards the Roman. Therefore 
 the feet, &c. must allude to the latter part, or that which 
 comes after, in succession. 
 
 GOD was the Law-giver to the Jews. And He did 
 not forsake them until Shiloh come ; but nationally he 
 preserved them, until our Lord drove the money-brokers 
 out of the Temple, observing. My hovse, you have made 
 a den of thieves. And as he retired, he wept, with this 
 
198 PARAPHRASE, &c. 
 
 lamentation — O Jerusalem, Jerusalem ! how often would 
 I have gathered you:, and ye would not — vour house is left 
 unto you desolate — ye shall not see me henceforth, until 
 ye shall say, blessed is he that cometh in the name of the 
 Lord — as the others had done just before, when he rode 
 into the city. 
 
 The Sanhedrim said, see how ye prevail nothing ; be- 
 hold the world is gone after him — and if we let him thus 
 alone, the Romans will come and take away both OUR 
 place and NATION. Thus they viewed their place, in 
 the possessive case, in a national point of view. And 
 therefore our Lord, in his parables, frequently pointed 
 out their standing in a national capacity, and what must 
 follow as the conseqence of sin : and styled the temple, 
 " YOUR HOUSE, is left unto you desolate" — forsaken by the 
 " Law-giver^^^ the Great GOD ! because they rejected 
 the wise men with the prophets ; and morever, His only 
 Son! 
 
 The Jeet with propriety may be considered as relating 
 to the two tribes, Judah and Benjamin. The temple was 
 on the borders, where the line ran; and hence the word, 
 " between," is admissible. 
 
 The Council at length, from punishing the innocent, 
 and desiring a Barrabas, suffered vice to go unpunished, 
 until iniquity became so prominent, that they dare not 
 restrain it, by the infliction of punishment, lest they should 
 be assassinated by the banditti, whose actions came to an 
 unparalleled height. 
 
 And by virtue of this breach of trusty they were account- 
 able for their infidelity ; and being conscious of their re- 
 sponsibility, while in council assembled. 
 
 The query arose. Why sit we here ? Arise and let us 
 go hence ! Thus they voluntarily dissolved themselves ; 
 and they have had no such Council since : until Napo- 
 leon set up the Mock Council in France, in 1806. 
 
 Moses told the Hebrews, Deut. xxviii. The conse- 
 quence of obedience to the law by the Law-giver. And 
 on the other side, the consequence of obedience, as the 
 retribution from the same Law-giver, that they should be 
 scattered among all nations, where they should be hissed 
 at and despised. 
 
PARAPHRASE, &c. 199 
 
 Thus for near two thousand years we find thenl to ex- 
 emplify what Moses had foretold of old. 
 
 There is not a nation in Europe, called Christians, but 
 what have special laws against the Hebrews, to curtail 
 their privileges; not even suffering them to be landhold- 
 ers, unless they will renounce their religion, or nominally 
 profess Christianity; yea, they are not admitted as citi- 
 zens, nor owned as subjects, but are viewed as vagrants, 
 or considered as aliens^ throughout the whole world, ex- 
 cept the United States. And the "Holy City will be 
 trodden down of the Gentiles forty and two months.^* — 
 " Till the fulness of the Gentiles be come in."* But 
 when the Hebrews acknowledge the Shiloh, saying, 
 "Blessed be he that cometh in the name of the Lord." — 
 Then those judgments which were inflicted, on them for 
 their disobedience, will be taken ofl'them, and laid upon 
 
 ♦ Whoever will compare the 8th. 9th. 10th and 11th chapters of the 
 Romans, will perceive the Apostle was speaking of the Jews and 
 Gentiles, ir the order and succession of the Gospel in the militant 
 state. 
 
 And the 9th chapter, 10th to 13th verses of Romans, when com- 
 pared with Genesis, xxv. 23. 2 Sum. viii 14. 1 Chron, xviii. 12, 
 13. Malichi, i. 1 to 3. will plainly perceive that those words were 
 applicable NATIOJNALLV, and no how else : and to apply it other- 
 wise, is a plain perversion of the text. 
 
 Again, Heb. xi. 20. Genesis xxvii. 30 to 40. 2 Chron. xxi. 10, 
 will see it must be understood nationally, and NOT personally. See 
 Deut ii. 4 to 8. Also Rom ix. 21, &c. to Jeremiah xviii, 2 to 10 
 &c. 
 
 Thus what is spoken nationally should be applied only nationally 
 to prevent confusion — and the letters " I. F." and " E. T. H." should 
 not be forgotten when applied personally, when found in the good 
 Book. 
 
 National sins being punished nationally, it must be done here, (as 
 exemplified in the case and state of the Jews;) seeing it cannot be 
 done here." fter; as there will be no human dynasties there. Hence, 
 in the day of judgment, mankind must be judged personally, and 
 rewarded individually — each according to his deeds done in the 
 body. 
 
 And as the capacities, ages and circumstances of mankind are so 
 various, and the improvements also ; so will be the reward apportioned 
 accordhigly. 
 
 Thus those premises being admitted, we can justify the ways of 
 God to man, here, in the rise and fall of kingdoms and empires : and 
 evenwliy MxhommsdciniBm was suffered to supplant Ciiristianity, 
 16 
 
200 PARAPHRASE, &c. 
 
 those who were their oppressors j but the United States 
 will escape ! 
 
 And unto him shall the gathering of the people be^ 
 
 The first of the gathering, was the Jewish Shepherds ; 
 who were directed by the Angel who proclaimed peace on 
 earth, and good will to men — a Saviour born, who should 
 be glad tidings of great joy to ALL people. 
 
 The second, was the icisemen from the East. Accord- 
 ing to Buchanan, by tradition, they were from Hindostan : 
 directed West in quest of a remarkable personage Avho 
 was to enlighten the human family. Thus geographi- 
 cally the accounts correspond. 
 
 Herod sought to destroy the young child, fearing he 
 would, as a rival, prevent the succession of the throne 
 hereditary in his family ; who at this time, held a kind of 
 delegated kingly power, subordinate to Augustus Cccsar. 
 
 Augustus had designed to tax the Roman empire about 
 twenty-seven years before he brought it to bear ; and the 
 place of enrolment brought Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem ; 
 and so the prophecy was fulfilled by the overruling Provi- 
 dence of God in the concerns of mortals. 
 
 Fourteen thousand four hundred children were slain, 
 according to accounts ; yet the Child Jesus was preserved 
 from the designs of that v/icked man. First by the Angel^ 
 warning the Wise Men not to return to Herod ; and then 
 warning Joseph to retire with the young child and his 
 mother to the land of Egypt ; until he should have word 
 by that visitor to return ; which followed soon after. 
 
 For on the eighth day was the circumcision ; and in 
 thirty -three more days she was to offer the turtle-doves, 
 
 in the East. First, Mahommedanism admits of no idolatry ; and se- 
 condly, is not s? intolerable as corrupt Christianity when degenerated. 
 
 And also, on tlie same plan, the world of mankind can be judged in 
 the great day, in righteousness and justice; seeing the obligation is 
 in proportion to the talents given ; and the reward of grace to the 
 obedient, and the punishment of vice apportioned to the crime. 
 
 For there are two ways, two states, and two characters, and here- 
 after two «ondition3, i. e. Happy and Miserable ! Now, Reader, life 
 z nd death! the narrow way and the broadway ! wliich will you choose 
 and pursue 1 Look, see, and make up your mind. For the wages of 
 sia is death ! But eternal life jb the gift of God, through Jesus Christ 
 our Lord 
 
DOW'S FAMILY MEDICINE. 
 
 This medicine has been found of general utility and 
 efficacy in all those disorders called Biliousj and affections 
 of the liver, exceeding common credibility — even in many 
 cases wherein repeated courses of mercurials had been used 
 in vain ! 
 
 The dose of it may be from one tea spoonful mixed 
 with sugar and water for an infant, to eight or ten tea 
 spoonsful in a tumbler or half pint of cold or warm 
 water for a grown person. In acute cases — the middling 
 dose for an adult is two large table spoonsful in a tumbler 
 or cup of water, every two or three hours, until it operates 
 freely, and considerable relief is obtained j and then at 
 longer intervals. 
 
 The. general times of giving it in chronic diseases, or 
 of long continuance, is three times a day, viz. morning, 
 noon, and night, increasing or diminishing the dose so as 
 to agree best with the constitution of the patient ; and to 
 operate moderately from two to four times in the twenty- 
 four hours for several days. 
 
 In costive habits a corrective, and in dysentery a speedy 
 relief has been obtained by many who have used it in 
 New England. 
 
 LORENZO DOW. 
 New York, June 1, 1833. 
 Sold hy John WUcoXi ^enr. Comb Maker, 86 Bowery, 
 
TO THE AFFLICTED. 
 
 Wcy t}vt Subscribers, having made a free use {in our 
 own families) of 
 
 LORENZO B>OW'S(Uc!S. Patent.) 
 
 FAMILY MEDICINE. 
 
 Dj certify, That it is very gentle and sure in its opera- 
 lion as a cathartic, and that it possesses a peculiar qua- 
 lity to remove obstructions in the stomach and bowels, 
 and in carrying off bad humours. And that it is well 
 adapted to females in a debilitated or declining state, 
 forasmuch as it does not weaken the patient, (although 
 taken frequently,) but restores the stomach to a proper 
 tone by assisting the digestion, and thereby exciting 
 the appetite, &c. 
 
 (Signed,) PETER GRIFFIN, ministers of 
 
 DANIEL BURROUGHS, 5 the Gospel. 
 
 WM. C. BOON, 
 
 JOSEPH BRIDGMAN, 
 
 DAVID CHAPMAN, 
 
 SAMUEL SHEPARD, 
 
 JONATHAN PAGE. 
 Hebron, Sept. 8th, 1819. 
 
 I CERTIFY, That the subscribers to the within 
 certificate of recommendation, are all respectable inhabi- 
 tants of the town of Hebron. 
 
 SYLVESTER GILBERT, Judge of Count jrCourt. 
 
 Hebron, Sept. I5th, 1819. 
 
 irf- To be had " GENUINE," of George W. Hal- 
 ler. High st. Georgetown, and Thomas Jacobs, King st. 
 Alexandria, D. C.