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Press Notices of "A Commercial Trip." 
 
 How one of the firm was sent out in place of an ex- 
 perienced commercial traveler to Pittsburg, Columbus, 
 Cincinnati, and other large cities in the West, how he 
 succeeded in getting orders, and what came of his trip, is 
 effectively told in this narrative. The sleeping car, the 
 hotel, and the houses called upon, furnish very laughable 
 scenes, which are brightly and humorously described. 
 * * * * Wit flows freely, and sparkles on 
 every page, although the incidents were enough to cause 
 boisterous mirth. It is very cleverly done. — Boston Globe. 
 
 A story, bright and pleasant throughout. * * * 
 — New Orleans Times-Democrat. 
 
 * * Mr. Bartlett writes pleasantly, and 
 
 his work has the merit of pretty faithfully reflecting a 
 phase of contemporary life. — N. Y. Commercial. 
 
 * * An amusing account of the ad- 
 ventures of a young man devoted to his violin and 
 fishing, who started out on his first commercial trip and 
 fell in love on the way. His experiences in hotels, boats 
 and steam cars were very absurd, and are cleverly de- 
 scribed. It is generally considered a dangerous thing to 
 attempt to write a funny book, but the author of this 
 odd little volume may be congratulated at having made 
 so much of a success. — Milwaukee Sentinel. 
 
 A story of a purely American character, full of amus- 
 ing incident. Hotel and railway adventures, various 
 mishaps and misapprehensions, offer excellent material, 
 which is brightly and humorously treated. — JV. Y. Journal. 
 
One may be a highly successful business man in the 
 conducting of an establishment, and yet prove an unsuc- 
 cessful commercial traveler, even for his own house. In 
 a pretty little book entitled "A Commercial Trip with an 
 Uncommercial Ending," George H. Bartlett relates in a 
 very racy and readable style, the experience of Mr. 
 Clark, of the New York firm of Dale & Clark, who took 
 a commercial trip to relieve their faithful commercial 
 traveler, Morgan, who had become considerably run 
 down and needed a vacation. * * * * Clark 
 soon found that commercial traveling was not recreative 
 work, neither was it work that anybody could easily ac- 
 complish. His encounters with swarms of agents of 
 rival houses, and experience with buyers, are graphically 
 related. * * * * — Home Journal, Boston. 
 
 * * * * The account of the woman bar- 
 gaining for the sleeping berth at Pittsburg is especially 
 good.— N. Y. World. 
 
 A racy little romance, the general character of which 
 will be at once surmised by the title. * * * * 
 The romance is pleasantly woven through the business 
 transactions of the commercial traveler, and the story 
 will make agreeable summer reading. — Troy Times. 
 
 * * * * Told in a witty and vivacious 
 style. — Times- Star, Cincinnati. 
 
 It is natural, with genuine humor. The very simplicity 
 of the little sketches are their chief charm. * * * 
 —St. John's (N. B.) Globe. 
 
 RAND, McNALLY & 00., Publishers, 148-154 Monroe St., Chicago. 
 
A Commercial Trip 
 
 AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING 
 
 GEORGE H. BARTLETT 
 
 RAND, McNALLY & CO., 
 
 148 to 154 Monroe Street, Chicago. 
 
 323 Broadway, New York. 
 
TZ. 
 
 3 
 
 (L 
 
 COPYR.GHT BY 
 
 GEORGE H. BARTLET|' 
 
 1884. 
 
A COMMERCIAL TRIP WITH AN UN- 
 COMMERCIAL ENDING. 
 
 I. 
 
 " Office of Dale and Clark, 
 " New York, Aug. 28, 188-. 
 
 DEAR CLARK: 
 " Morgan is a good deal run down from trav- 
 elling so much during the hot weather. He expects 
 to s.tart on another trip next Tuesday, but he really 
 needs rest, and ought to take a vacation. Cannot 
 you make the trip in his place? Perhaps you will 
 think there is no good reason why I should not go 
 myself — but please to remember that I have a family, 
 while you are a bachelor ! The following would be 
 your route :— Pittsburgh, Columbus, Cincinnati, 
 Louisville, Indianapolis, Terre Haute, St. Louis, 
 Chicago, Milwaukee, Detroit, Toledo, and Cleve- 
 land. It would take you about four weeks to cover 
 the ground. Please let me know at once whether 
 you will go." 
 
 Clark was aboard his yacht, the Fleehving, 
 anchored in New London Harbor for the 
 
2 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 night, when this letter was received from his 
 partner. In company with three other young 
 bachelors he was taking a cruise through Long 
 Island Sound. They had spent the past few 
 days trolling for bluefish, which they had found 
 very abundant between Little Gull Light- house 
 and Fisher's Island. The letter had arrived to- 
 ward the close of the two weeks set apart for 
 the cruise, so their rovings were not much 
 shortened by Clark's decision to sail for New 
 York on the following morning. The Fleet- 
 wing made a quick run to New York, and 
 Clark was again at his office attending to busi- 
 ness. He had seen the Fleetwing sail away 
 with Morgan and several friends on board, 
 Clark having persuaded the traveller to take a 
 cruise. 
 
 Tuesday afternoon Clark was at his bachelor 
 quarters, packing. He had taken Morgan's 
 trunk, which was of moderate size and con- 
 structed in a most substantial manner. In 
 truth, it had so much iron about it that it bore 
 some resemblance to a safe. This trunk had 
 been in active service for ten years, and bag- 
 gagemen had become discouraged by its obsti- 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 3 
 
 nate tenacity, and given up all hopes of ever 
 being able to do it any serious damage. 
 
 The few samples which Clark was obliged to 
 carry were fastened upon cards, taking up but 
 little space in the trunk. Most of the goods in 
 which the firm dealt were staple articles, and it 
 was not necessary to carry samples of these. 
 In one tray of the trunk Clark had carefully 
 packed a case containing a great treasure — 
 namely, an old and valuable violin. It had the 
 sweetest of voices, and Clark had played upon 
 it ever since he was ten years old. 
 
 The packing being finished, Clark locked the 
 trunk, having, however, first taken a farewell 
 look at his violin, and saying : " Good-bye, old 
 friend, till we meet in Pittsburgh." Then he 
 packed his valise, after which, as it still lacked 
 an hour before the hack would call to take him 
 to the depot, he unlocked his trunk, took out 
 his violin, and stood before a small picture. It 
 was an oil-painting by Meyer von Bremem — 
 the subject being a sleeping child, while three 
 other children stood gazing lovingly upon the 
 little sleeper, the faces of all being lighted up 
 by a candle held by one of the children. It was 
 
4 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 a very beautiful and life-like picture, and Clark 
 had become very much attached to the little 
 group. His intimate friends usually spoke of the 
 painting as " Clark's children," and the violin 
 went by the name of " Clark's wife." There 
 were some who wondered whether the constant 
 presence of an " old bow," paying Clark's wife 
 so much attention, ever made trouble in the 
 family ; while others, when this was hinted, 
 would say contemptuously, " Fiddlesticks! " 
 
 After Clark had stood for a few moments, 
 gazing fatherly upon his children, a voice came 
 from the violin like unto that of a little child 
 singing a nursery hymn. Then it seemed as 
 though other children's voices joined in, so 
 sweet was the harmony which came from the 
 instrument. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 
 
 II. 
 
 IT did not appear very inviting to Clark when 
 he entered the sleeping-car at Jersey City. 
 The weather was warm and the air in the Pull- 
 man hot and close. Another circumstance which 
 did not portend comfort and a good night's rest 
 was the presence of a family in which were two 
 fretful children and a crying infant. The father 
 and mother were doing their best to quiet their 
 little ones, but met with no success. Some of the 
 passengers showed bad temper and worse man- 
 ners by turning around and frowning continu- 
 ally upon the children and parents. 
 
 The family had been obliged to take upper 
 berths, having come after all the lowers had 
 been engaged. Now, the thought of the mother 
 occupying an upper berth with a little baby 
 made Clark feel uneasy ; for, he reasoned, 
 should either fall from that " second story," se- 
 vere injury might be the result. He soon of- 
 fered to give up his lower berth and in exchange 
 
6 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 take one of the uppers, and was warmly thanked 
 for his thoughtfulness. 
 
 When the time arrived for him to ascend 
 into his elevated bed, it seemed to him a little 
 like climbing up a tree for a nap, a la Robinson 
 Crusoe. 
 
 He had been asleep for an hour or so when 
 he awoke and was conscious of breathing bad 
 air. Every berth was occupied ; and the proper 
 ventilation of a well-filled sleeping-car is one 
 thing which inventors have not yet solved. 
 
 Clark sat up, put his head out from between 
 the curtains of his berth and looked for the 
 colored porter, intending to request that a door 
 or window be opened. The porter was dis- 
 covered on the floor, at the further end of the 
 car, fast asleep. 
 
 Clark thought : " I can't awake him at this dis- 
 tance without disturbing some of the sleeping- 
 passengers. I might throw a shoe at him and 
 attract him in that way ; but unfortunately I 
 shall have to slide down this tree to get one. 
 I '11 open a door or window myself." 
 
 He partially dressed, descended from his 
 lofty bed, walked softly to one end of the car, 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 7 
 
 and opened the door. This let in too great a 
 rush of air and cinders, so he shut it and tried 
 to raise a window. It would not budge. He 
 tried another with the same result. Then he 
 went softly to the other end of the car and suc- 
 ceeded there in opening a window. The cool 
 mountain air was very refreshing, and Clark sat 
 there for some time, nearly falling asleep. When 
 he started to return to his berth he could not, 
 for the life of him, remember just where it was 
 located. He knew it was near the centre of 
 the car, but on which side ? He tried to locate 
 his berth by his hat, which he had hung on the 
 outside, but there were a number of hats which 
 looked just alike, any one of which might be 
 his. 
 
 " If I could only see the inside of these hats I 
 could tell mine by the manufacturer's brand. 
 Or, I can find my berth by drawing aside cur- 
 tains, for mine will be empty ; but I shall then 
 run a risk of peeping into other persons' beds. 
 I '11 try investigating hats." 
 
 Being tall he had no difficulty in reaching to 
 where the hats hung. The first one he exam- 
 ined was new, like his own, and had the right 
 maker's name inside. 
 
8 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " Hit it the first time ! " he said to himself, 
 and then proceeded to climb up. 
 
 "What in thunder are you doing?" fairly 
 roared a gruff voice as Clark partially entered 
 what proved to be an occupied berth. 
 
 " Beg your pardon. I 'm mistaken," said 
 Clark. 
 
 " You are! and by a big majority ! I have a 
 pistol under my pillow for fellows who make 
 such mistakes. You got off cheap." 
 
 " I '11 try on the next hat," thought Clark. " I 
 never saw so many new hats together outside 
 of a hat store, and they are all enough alike to 
 be brothers. A woman could tell her hat 
 among a thousand, but alas! for poor man!" 
 
 Clark was going softly about and was on the 
 point of reaching for another hat when he ob- 
 served the porter was watching him. 
 
 "I 'se seen yer! I 'se seen yer!" cried the 
 porter, throwing aside a blanket and standing 
 up. 
 
 " I wish you would tell me where my berth 
 is," said Clark. 
 
 " That s the way with these car-thieves. They 
 are always hunting for their berths. It 's an old 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. g 
 
 game," said a voice which Clark recognized as 
 belonging to the man who slept with a pistol 
 under his pillow. 
 
 Clark was angry now and said : 
 
 11 If any one wishes to call me a thief let him 
 come down here! " 
 
 By this time the passengers were pretty gen- 
 erally awake ; numerous heads appeared from 
 behind the curtains, and all eyes were " fixed 
 upon the car-thief. Clark was amused as well 
 as angry now — a rather unusual combination. 
 
 "I tell you I have lost my berth," he said. 
 
 11 Advertise for it in the New York Herald^ 
 cried one. 
 
 " Where was it last seen by you ?" inquired 
 another. 
 
 "Did you drop it in the car or lose it crossing 
 the ferry ?" 
 
 " Is it gentle and kind, or will it bite? " 
 
 11 What color was it ? " 
 
 " What reward do you offer ? " 
 
 "Are you sure you did not pawn it?" 
 
 These and other questions were put in rapid 
 succession by several young men whom Clark 
 took to be commercial travellers, and who evi- 
 
IO A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 dently saw only the comical side of the loss of a 
 berth. 
 
 " What is your number?" inquired the porter, 
 when the other cross-examiners had given him 
 a chance to ask the question. 
 
 " I don't know. I exchanged my original 
 berth, which was lower eight, for an upper near 
 the centre of the car." 
 
 By this time, many of the passengers being 
 thoroughly convinced that a car-thief had been 
 going the rounds, now began examining their 
 pockets, etc. Those who had secreted valuables 
 under mattresses or elsewhere, were not satis- 
 fied until they had taken an inventory of their 
 goods and chattels. In their zeal to discover 
 whether or not they had been robbed, pillows 
 were overturned and came tumbling down, and 
 there was much commotion and loud talking. 
 The children and infant soon started on their 
 crying way, and Clark was greatly exasperated 
 upon hearing the mother remark that " she 
 would never have taken him for a thief, he 
 looked so honest! " 
 
 One man said the proper way to treat car- 
 thieves was to lynch them on the spot, and that 
 
WITH AH UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 1 
 
 the bell-rope would be just the thing to do it 
 with! 
 
 Several voices cried, " That 's so ! " 
 Clark was laughing now in spite of the 
 unpleasantness of the whole affair. The 
 porter found the lost berth, and assured the 
 passengers that "The gentleman was all right." 
 Quiet reigned again, and Clark slept some after 
 this ; but he was glad when day dawned. Soon 
 after seven o'clock the black smoke, which 
 hovers over Pittsburgh, came in view, and half 
 an hour later Pittsburgh itself. 
 
 After a good breakfast at the hotel Clark 
 went to his room, opened his trunk, and took 
 therefrom his violin. He soon played himself 
 into a happy frame of mind, and then prepared 
 for business. 
 
12 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 III. 
 
 THE firm of which Clark was a partner 
 represented certain well-known manu- 
 facturing companies. All sales were made 
 through Dale & Clark, that firm disposing of 
 the entire product of the mills, and selling 
 almost exclusively to the wholesale trade. 
 
 It might give Clark's trip a personal aspect 
 did we state the line of goods handled by him, 
 so we will give fictitious names to the articles 
 to be sold, for the goods must have names, 
 otherwise Clark will not be able to transact 
 business satisfactorily. The staples we will call 
 hulls, masts, stays, booms, and jibs, and the 
 articles of which he carried samples, keels. It 
 will be noticed that these names are of a nauti- 
 cal turn, but it should be remembered that 
 Clark was an enthusiastic yachtsman, and it is 
 right that his tastes should be consulted in this 
 christening. Besides, the names are appropri- 
 ate from the fact that he felt all at sea in the 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 3 
 
 role of commercial traveller, for it was to be his 
 first experience in that line. 
 
 Each particular pattern of keel had a number 
 to designate it, and, as before stated, the sam- 
 ples were fastened to cards, the whole making 
 only a moderate package. 
 
 When Clark started out that morning to call 
 upon the wholesale firms, he carried the sam- 
 ples of keels with him. 
 
 Before leaving the hotel, he had £one to the 
 
 o ' o 
 
 office to borrow or hire an umbrella, for to him 
 there was every indication that there was to be 
 a heavy fall of rain soon. 
 
 " What in the world do you want with an 
 umbrella ? " inquired the clerk. 
 
 " It is as black as ink out ; looks as though 
 we were going to have a thunder-storm," said 
 Clark. 
 
 " Thunder-storm ! Why, you forget you are 
 in the ' Smoky City.' This is a clear day 
 for us." 
 
 Clark's first call was upon one of the leading 
 Pittsburgh firms, and he received a pleasant 
 welcome. The buyer asked to be excused for 
 a short time, in order that he might look over 
 
 2 
 
14 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 the morning's mail. While Clark was waiting, 
 another traveller came in, and another, and still 
 another, and " still they came," until seven rep- 
 resentatives of firms dealing in similar goods 
 were in the store. The buyer introduced Clark 
 to each and all of them. Now, for seven men 
 to be assembled in one store for the purpose of 
 selling to one man seemed to Clark to be a 
 little overdoing matters. He thought : 
 
 " I never knew before that salesmen ran in 
 1 schools/ like blue-fish." 
 
 There was a lively conversation kept up, 
 with not a few short stories, while the buyer 
 was engaged with the mail. The travellers 
 were evidently well acquainted with each other, 
 and entirely at home in that store. Instead of 
 having come there as competitors, it seemed 
 more like a meeting of old friends for the pur- 
 pose of having a friendly chat and an inter- 
 change of laughable anecdotes. 
 
 Having finished with the mail, the buyer — 
 who was also senior member of the firm — 
 joined the party and said : " Well, gentlemen, 
 I don't see but that I am unusually favored this 
 morning. This is a regular ovation. The only 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. I 5 
 
 difficulty will be to make my order go around. 
 It will require a miracle, for what would it be 
 among so many ? " 
 
 " Let 's draw lots ! " suggested one traveller. 
 
 " Any way which suits you, gentlemen," said 
 the buyer. 
 
 " You might issue tickets as they do in bar- 
 ber shops, letting each take his turn." 
 
 " And then get shaved ! " said the buyer. 
 
 " Oh ! " came in chorus. 
 
 " Suppose we sing * Buy and Buy ' as appro- 
 priate to the occasion." 
 
 This suggestion, which came from Clark, 
 called forth another " Oh ! " from the travellers. 
 
 It was not long before one salesman after an- 
 other dropped out, first making an appointment 
 to call later in the day, and Clark was left alone 
 with the buyer. After some conversation not 
 of a business character, Clark came to the con- 
 clusion that the buyer expected him to " open 
 fire" on the topic of goods and prices. 
 
 Clark had a limited experience as a salesman 
 at home, but there it was the buyer who ap- 
 proached the salesman. Now that the tables 
 were turned Clark scarcely knew how to begin 
 operations. 
 
1 6 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 As a commencement he asked : " By the 
 way, what is the state of your stock at the 
 present time ? " 
 
 " Pretty comfortable, thank you ; how is 
 yours ? " replied the buyer, smilingly. 
 
 " So as to be about ! " said Clark. 
 
 " All right. Give us some prices." 
 
 " Hulls are worth twenty-two cents," said 
 Clark. 
 
 " That 's news ! I have n't paid certain of 
 your competitors over twenty cents for some 
 time." 
 
 " Then you have been buying goods that are 
 inferior to ours. You know our hulls are much 
 superior to the general run." 
 
 " That 's the case with everybody's. 'T is 
 like the. railroad maps and circulars gotten up 
 by the respective lines : Each road has the 
 safest and smoothest track, is the shortest, 
 makes the best time, has the finest scenery, etc." 
 
 The buyer did not say this in a disagreeable 
 manner, but nevertheless he made Clark feel 
 uncomfortable. 
 
 " You will admit, I suppose, that our brand 
 of hulls is of first-rate quality? " queried Clark. 
 
 " Of course I will. But there are others 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 7 
 
 which we can buy for less and sell for just as 
 much. That 's the story in a nutshell." 
 
 " Then I can't sell you any hulls ? " 
 
 " Not at that price." 
 
 " How are you stocked on jibs ? " 
 
 " You can't touch me on those. I 'm full." 
 
 " And masts ? " 
 
 " Could buy a lot at a special low price." 
 
 " Well, how does twelve cents seem to you? " 
 
 " Not as low as eleven." 
 
 " I cannot sell you at better than twelve, and, 
 to the best of my knowledge and belief, that is 
 as low as you can buy them anywhere." 
 
 " Very well, we will not dispute on that point. 
 I can't pay you over eleven cents." 
 
 "Then I can't sell you any masts," said Clark. 
 
 Clark now proposed showing his samples of 
 keels, and the buyer expressed a willingness to 
 look at them. 
 
 " What is the price of 28 ? " 
 
 " One twenty-five." 
 
 " I would like to show you one of the same 
 size and pattern which I bought at one fifteen 
 from Dickenson." 
 
 " You must know that Dickenson's keels are 
 trash." 
 
1 8 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " They sell well." 
 
 " Yes, very likely. But that is n't the point. 
 The goods are miserably made." 
 
 " All we can afford to consider is the differ- 
 ence between the price at which we buy and 
 the price at which we sell. We are doing busi- 
 ness for profit, not for glory." 
 
 Clark found he was not getting on well with 
 this buyer, and he finally lost his temper. 
 
 " When we have any thing mean and cheap 
 to offer you we will mail quotations," said Clark. 
 
 The buyer replied : " Oh, don't trouble your- 
 self to do so." 
 
 Clark could not help feeling disturbed by 
 this, his first experience, as a commercial trav- 
 eller. Here was a firm which had been dealing 
 with Dale & Clark for years, and yet Clark, 
 instead of obtaining an order, had simply suc- 
 ceeded in antagonizing the buyer. Clark could 
 not believe that the man was so unreasonable 
 as to expect to buy superior goods at the same 
 prices as common goods. Dickenson's keels 
 were of an entirely different grade from Clark's, 
 and every one at all posted knew that to be the 
 case. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 19 
 
 " I fear I showed no tact," thought Clark, as 
 he considered the matter. " I was undoubtedly 
 too ready to assert, and even dispute. I should 
 have kept cool and used my persuasive powers, 
 if I have any." 
 
 He made another call ; but as the buyer was 
 already engaged with a salesman, he merely in- 
 troduced himself and said he would call on the 
 morrow. He met with a like experience at an- 
 other house, and still another, until this hunting 
 for orders seemed to him a good deal like look- 
 ing for a needle in a hay-mow. He did no 
 business that day. " Fishing for orders is n't 
 to be compared to blue-fishing," he thought. 
 " The fish are either on some other fellow's 
 hook or else they will not bite at mine." 
 
20 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 IV. 
 
 WHEN Clark awoke the following morn- 
 ing it was pretty dark, though the sun 
 had been up over an hour. 
 
 He found innumerable black specks floating 
 in his water-pitcher, and a white shirt, in which 
 he had placed studs the night before, and left 
 upon a chair, bosom upward, was also covered 
 with the same description of blackness. 
 
 Clark had, as usual, left a window wide open, 
 and the soot had rained in and covered every 
 thing. 
 
 Now had he been a Pittsburgher, he would, 
 upon discovering those black specks upon his 
 shirt-bosom, simply have blown or shaken them 
 off. What he did do was this : he took a towel 
 and attempted to brush them off. Many long, 
 black streaks was the consequence. 
 
 " My bosom is in mourning!" he exclaimed, 
 as he discarded the shirt and studded another. 
 
 After breakfast, as it was still too early for 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 21 
 
 business calls, Clark thought it would be pleas- 
 ant to cross the bridge which spans the Monon- 
 gahela River near the hotel, and ride up to the 
 top of the bluffs on an inclined-plane railway 
 which he could see in operation from the hotel. 
 
 " It is a dark day. I can hardly believe this 
 is nothing but smoke and soot ; but perhaps it 
 is. I will not again display my greenness by 
 asking for an umbrella." 
 
 Thus thought Clark as he stepped out upon 
 the sidewalk. When part way over the bridge 
 he stood looking down into the water, and re- 
 ceived a dose of black smoke from a passing 
 steamer's smoke-stack. 
 
 " How soon the white sails of the Fleetwing 
 would turn black here. If I was out sailing on 
 the Sound and saw as black a sky as this, I 
 would either shorten sail or make for a harbor, 
 double quick. One of Pittsburgh's mock 
 thunder-storms." 
 
 He had ceased soliloquizing, and was walking 
 slowly on when a pouring rain set in. The 
 wind blew great guns too. The bridge was not 
 a covered one, and Clark ran at his best speed 
 all the way back to the hotel, and stood before 
 
22 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 the clerk in the office pretty wet. It was the 
 same clerk who had smiled when Clark had 
 asked for an umbrella the day before. 
 
 " I would like to inquire whether there is 
 any way of judging any thing about the weather 
 here ? " said Clark. 
 
 " Certainly there is," said the clerk ; " if you 
 go out and don't get wet, it is a pleasant day ; 
 but if, as in your case this morning, you come 
 back as wet as you are now, you are pretty safe 
 in concluding 't is stormy — that is, unless you 
 have fallen into the river." 
 
 " Thank you for the information," said Clark. 
 " I am Mad to know how to tell ! Can I hire 
 an umbrella ? " 
 
 " Yes ; the boy at the news-stand has them 
 to let." 
 
 Clark procured an umbrella and then sallied 
 forth to call upon those dealers with whom he 
 had appointments. His first call that day was 
 upon a very jovial, whole-souled man, the buy- 
 ing partner of one of the solid Pittsburgh firms. 
 Clark had seen him but a moment the day be- 
 fore, but now found him disengaged and ready 
 to hear prices and look at samples of keels. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 2$ 
 
 There was no badgering at all on the part of 
 this buyer. He merely took down the prices 
 quoted, and asked Clark to call again at four 
 o'clock. He also invited Clark to go out to 
 East Liberty to spend the night with him ; but 
 as Clark was to leave for Columbus that evening, 
 this invitation had to be declined. 
 
 « We get away from the smoky atmosphere 
 out there," said the buyer ; " but then we don't 
 mind the smoke much, after all." 
 
 " I have not seen the sun since I have been 
 here, and have been thinking it would be a good 
 speculation to go into the balloon business, and 
 charge so much per head for a peep at that 
 luminary," said Clark. 
 
 " A very good idea ! " said the buyer. " Ah ! 
 we glory in our smoke ! When the sun shines 
 through it any worth mentioning it is a dark day 
 for us, for it shows business at our mills is dull. 
 Although we are under a cloud most of the 
 time we are as happy as most mortals, I think." 
 
 " That probably arises from the fact that you 
 are entirely sooted ! " said Clark. 
 
 The buyer looked at the perpetrator of this 
 atrocious pun with a glance which seemed to 
 
24 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 say : " I am sorry if you are given to that kind 
 of thing ! " 
 
 Clark saw other firms that day but was not 
 successful in making sales. There were too 
 many travellers in town, Clark thought, and 
 he felt himself at a disadvantage, being a 
 stranger to the buyers. He was undoubtedly 
 too modest in his efforts, and he knew it was 
 largely his own fault that he had not succeeded 
 in obtaining satisfactory interviews with certain 
 of the buyers. In truth, he felt that he had lost 
 orders by default. 
 
 At four o'clock he again called upon the 
 buyer who had requested him to do so, and was 
 given several sheets of paper, which contained 
 liberal orders for keels as well as for staples. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING 2$ 
 
 WHEN he went to the depot to secure a 
 berth on the sleeping-car for Colum- 
 bus, he found a woman standing in front of the 
 Pullman-Car office. She had just commenced 
 asking questions, and the agent was answering 
 her to the best of his ability and with all due 
 patience. 
 
 " Are you the man who sells sleeping-car 
 tickets ? " asked the woman. 
 
 " Yes, madam, I am." 
 
 " Does the sleeping-car run through to where 
 I am going ? " 
 
 " I don't know where that is yet, as you 
 have n't told me." 
 
 " To New York. I live there, and have for 
 ten years. Does the sleeping-car run all the 
 way through without change ? " 
 
 " Yes, madam." 
 
 " I 'm glad of that. How much will it cost 
 me for a berth ? " 
 
26 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " Two dollars and a half." 
 
 " Two dollars and fifty cents ? " 
 
 " Yes, madam." 
 
 " That is very high ! Have you a real good 
 berth for me?" 
 
 " Yes ; you can have either lower six or 
 seven on train leaving Pittsburgh at eight 
 o'clock." 
 
 " At eight to-night ? " 
 
 " Yes, madam." 
 
 " How long does it take to go to New 
 York?" 
 
 " You will arrive there about ten o'clock to- 
 morrow morning." 
 
 " Let me think ! When I came out here 
 last month, I left at six in the evening and ar- 
 rived here about eight the next morning. In 
 what part of the car are the berths you men- 
 tioned I could have ? " 
 
 " Both are near the centre." 
 
 " Are they on the same side of the car ? " 
 
 " No, madam — right opposite." 
 
 " I wish I knew which was the best side of 
 the car. Can you tell me ? " 
 
 " There is not a particle of differenc«." 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 2*] 
 
 " What kind of persons have the berths next 
 to six and seven ? — I think you said six and 
 seven ; did n't you ? " 
 
 " I did ; but I don't know who will have the 
 adjoining berths." 
 
 " Can't you find out ? " 
 
 " No, madam ; I can't." 
 
 "I am sorry for that, because I am told all 
 kinds of folks travel on sleeping-cars, and I 
 would like to be next to genteel people. There 
 will not be any hard wheels under me ; will 
 there ? I have been told to get a berth away 
 from the hard wheels. Will there be any 
 under me ? " 
 
 " No, madam ; the wheels are near ends of 
 car. 
 
 " What kind of beds are there ? " 
 
 " Hair mattresses." 
 
 " Hair, did I understand you to say ? " 
 
 " Yes, madam." 
 
 " O dear me ! I prefer feathers — am more 
 used to them." 
 
 " The ticket, madam, will be two dollars and 
 a half. Please decide what you will do, for 
 there are several others waiting until you are 
 served." 
 
28 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " Two dollars and fifty cents ? " 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " One thing I forgot to ask you : Can myself 
 and daughter sleep comfortably in one berth ? " 
 
 " I think so." 
 
 " My daughter Sarah is a pretty large girl. 
 There she sits, over yonder. Nothing extra to 
 pay when two occupy a berth ? " 
 
 " No, madam." 
 
 " And the train leaves when ? " 
 
 " Eight o'clock." 
 
 " To-night, I believe you said ? " 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " What time have you now ? " 
 
 " Half-past six." 
 
 " Is that railroad time ? " 
 
 " It is." 
 
 <# How much did you say it would be ? " 
 
 " Two dollars and a half." 
 
 " Two dollars and fifty cents? " 
 
 " Yes, madam." 
 
 " That is very, very high for a bed. I guess, 
 as 't is n't a feather bed, Sarah and I will sit up. 
 There is a moon to-night, and we can see the 
 mountains by moonlight." 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL NEDING. 29 
 
 After Clark and the other waiting travellers 
 had secured berths, Clark said to the agent : 
 
 " You are the most patient man I ever met." 
 
 " You refer to that questioner, I suppose. 
 Well, I try to be polite, but sometimes I lose 
 my temper. Fat men give us lots of trouble 
 when we have nothing left but upper berths. 
 Here comes one now. If he is going West he 
 will have to take an upper, for I 'm all sold out 
 of lowers." 
 
 Clark stood aside and heard the following 
 dialogue : 
 
 11 I want a lower berth in centre of car for 
 Cincinnati, leaving at eight to-night." 
 
 " I 'm very sorry, but we have nothing left 
 but uppers. I can give you an upper in the 
 centre of car." 
 
 " I don't want an upper, and won't put up 
 with one. I could n't sleep a wink. You surely 
 would n't expect me to climb up into an upper 
 berth." 
 
 " Am sorry, but I have nothing else. You 
 will have a step-ladder to assist you." 
 
 " I tell you I won't take an upper berth. 
 You are no doubt reserving some lowers for 
 
30 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 others who have engaged them. Change and 
 give me one." 
 
 " I can't do it." 
 
 " Why can't you ? I tell you I could n't 
 sleep a wink in an upper berth. I '11 give you 
 a dollar extra if you will fix me all right." 
 
 " I am not taking bribes. All the lower 
 berths are engaged. First come first served." 
 
 " Now see here ! I am a stranger to you, but 
 if you will give me a lower berth and some one 
 else an upper, you won't regret it." (This was 
 said confidentially.) 
 
 " I tell you I have no lower berth for you." 
 
 " And you won't change some one and give 
 me a lower ? " 
 
 " No." 
 
 "Then all I have to say is that you are 
 mighty unaccommodating, and I '11 report you 
 to the Company. The idea of my climbing up 
 into an upper berth ! I tell you I could n't 
 sleep a wink ! No, sir, not a single wink " — 
 and the fat man walked off, very angry, and 
 with a very red face. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 3 1 
 
 VI. 
 
 CLARK returned to the hotel, had supper, 
 and some melody from his violin, and 
 then it was time to take the train for Columbus. 
 
 When he entered the sleeping-car, the first 
 person he saw was the fat man, who, it seemed, 
 had concluded to take an upper berth, after all. 
 The fat man was removing a pair of fat boots, 
 and the porter had placed a small step-ladder 
 for use in ascending to the upper berth. 
 
 As Clark would be obliged to rise by two 
 o'clock, the train being due in Columbus half 
 an hour later, he decided to follow the fat man's 
 example and go to bed early. 
 
 Clark's berth was directly opposite the fat 
 man's, whose aldermanic proportions filled up 
 all the space in that part of the car ; so Clark 
 seated himself in the drawing-room to wait 
 until the large man should ascend into the 
 upper berth. 
 
 The fat man, having partly prepared himself 
 
32 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 for repose, with some display of clumsiness 
 climbed up, and Clark heard him mumble : 
 
 " I shall not sleep a wink ! No, not a single 
 wink ! " 
 
 Clark was soon in bed, and fell asleep almost 
 instantly, and dreamed he . was aboard the 
 Fleetwing, off Montauk Point, surrounded by a 
 great school of porpoises, which were puffing, 
 blowing, and snorting in the most extraordinary 
 manner, even for porpoises. The dream did 
 not last long, for the dreamer soon awoke. 
 
 " No wonder I had that dream ! The fat 
 man, who could n't sleep a wink, is the cause of 
 it. Well, when he said he could n't sleep a 
 wink he didn't tell a lie, for no one winks when 
 asleep. Now, if he had said he could n't sleep 
 qztietly, he would have hit it exactly." 
 
 Clark had never before heard such snoring 
 as that which came from the fat man. It was 
 an unhappy combination of puffing, blowing, 
 and snorting, and the snort proper was so loud 
 that the noise made by the moving train seemed 
 profound silence in comparison. Clark soon 
 found that he was not the only passenger 
 who was awake and receiving the benefit of 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 33 
 
 the fat mans concert, for some one called out : 
 
 " For goodness' sake, porter, do turn that 
 elephant over occasionally, and I '11 give you a 
 dollar in the morning." 
 
 " I second the motion — of turning " — cried 
 Clark, " and will add my subscription of a 
 dollar." 
 
 Another voice cried : 
 
 -Ditto!" 
 
 The porter, glad of the chance for making 
 such good fees, tried the turn-over process and 
 found it a dangerous experiment ; for the fat 
 man, upon being touched, awoke instantly and 
 said in tones most emphatic : 
 
 " Just try that again, if you dare ! I am away 
 from home, and propose having my snore out ! 
 My wife is the only person who has the priv- 
 ilege of interfering with me in this matter. Now 
 that you have woke me up, I shall not sleep a 
 wink ; no, not a single wink ! " 
 
 But he was soon at it again, as fiercely as 
 ever, and no one disturbed him. 
 
 There Clark lay, wishing he might fall asleep 
 again in spite of the fat man's snoring. 
 
 He thought : 
 
34 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " I wonder some one has not invented a 
 sleeping-car with snore-proof compartments. 
 Then, when any one went to the ticket-agent 
 or conductor for a berth, the question could be 
 asked : ' Do you snore ? ' and the traveller be 
 located according to his reply. The trouble 
 would be that very few persons will ever admit 
 that they snore. Some will go so far as to say 
 that they breathe a little hard sometimes, but I 
 never yet met an habitual snorer who would ad- 
 mit that it was a regular thine with him." 
 
 As Clark lay there, wide awake, thinking of 
 various things, his thoughts finally turned to a 
 late bachelor friend by the name of Day, who 
 had just married a lady much younger than 
 himself. Now, Clark had one very bad habit — 
 namely, that of rhyming. Not that he thought 
 himself a poet, or that he wrote bachelor love- 
 ditties commencing in some such familiar 
 strain as 
 
 " Precious darling, how I love thee ! 
 Love thee, darling, oh so much ! 
 Search the world, my precious dearie, 
 I '11 not find another such ! " 
 
 No ! Clark's verses were of an entirely dif- 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 35 
 
 ferent character, being rather practical than 
 otherwise. He had sometimes found, too, that 
 his rhyming made him sleepy. He would try 
 the effect now. So, as he lay there thinking of 
 Day, and wishing at the same time that the fat 
 man would wink more and snore less, the fol- 
 lowing beautiful verses came into his poetic 
 brain : 
 
 HAPPY DAYS. 
 
 Now, I should say that Mrs. Day 
 
 Was not a Day past twenty ; 
 While Mr. D. is forty-three, 
 
 (The difference is a plenty !) 
 
 If Mr. D. and wife agree 
 And try to please each other, 
 
 The match may prove a happy move 
 For one as much as t' other. 
 
 But if, alas ! it comes to pass, 
 That one the other bothers, 
 
 Time will come yet they '11 both regret 
 They ever left their mothers ! 
 
 So let us pray that Mr. Day 
 May ne'er indulge in snarling, 
 
 That Mrs. D. may always be, 
 As now, his " precious darling.' 
 
36 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 That joy and peace may never cease, 
 
 With Days and years increasing ; 
 But may each year find both more dear 
 
 And love prove never ceasing. 
 
 But most we pray that neither may 
 Snore like this sleeping fat man, 
 For if 
 
 " Good-night, Day. I wish you joy. Many 
 happy returns ! " 
 
 Clark had fallen asleep, and was dreaming of 
 Day's wedding festivities ; so the rest of the 
 poem is forever lost to the world. 
 
 How sad ! 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 37 
 
 VII. 
 
 TIME to get up for Columbus." The 
 porter of the sleeping-car had accom- 
 panied this summons with a mild punch in 
 Clark's side. Clark arose forthwith and dressed. 
 At half- past two the train entered the depot at 
 Columbus, and Clark took a hack to the hotel. 
 He was on the point of registering, when the 
 clerk said : 
 
 " I am very sorry to say that we are full, 
 every bed being occupied. We put up cots in 
 the parlors and halls, and the last of these is 
 taken. There is a convention here." 
 
 " How far is it to the next hotel ? " asked 
 Clark. 
 
 " Only two blocks. You might possibly find 
 accommodations there, but it is doubtful." 
 
 Clark went to this hotel, but there was no 
 bed for him. He was told of still another hotel 
 not far away, and thither he went, with little 
 hope, however. When he entered this third 
 
38 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 house, he saw at a glance that it was a very 
 common place. 
 
 " Can I obtain a room here ? " he inquired of 
 a man in the office who had a very red nose 
 and bloodshot eyes. 
 
 " There 's one bed with two rooms in it, 
 — hie. I mean two beds with one room in 
 them, — hie." 
 
 " You mean one room with two beds in it, I 
 suppose ; but from what I see, I think you are 
 pretty full here too," said Clark. 
 
 Another man now appeared and said : 
 
 " Here, Jim, you go to bed right away, quick! 
 I '11 show the gentleman up." Then turning 
 to Clark, he said : 
 
 "We are overrun this wc 1:. There is one 
 room on the top floor in which there are two 
 beds, and only one is occupied. You can have 
 one of the beds, if you don't object to rooming 
 with a stranger." 
 
 " Do you know the man ? " 
 
 " Yes ; he is a country merchant. He s all 
 right." 
 
 Clark decided to take what was offered him. 
 He was tired and sleepy, and thought that any 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 39 
 
 thing in the way of a bed would be preferable 
 to sitting up the remainder of the night. 
 
 " Wait till I get a candle," said the man. 
 
 Soon they were on their way to the room. 
 Clark followed the man through a long hall, 
 then through a narrow passage, then up a steep 
 flight of stairs, another passage-way, another 
 flight of stairs, more halls, more stairs, more 
 passage -ways, and so on and on. 
 
 It seemed a great deal like exploring a cave, 
 for there was no light to be seen, save that of 
 the lone, flickering candle, and the turnings 
 were many and strange. At last the guide 
 called out : " We are almost there," and then a 
 draught put out the candle. 
 
 " Have you a match about you ? " asked the 
 guide. 
 
 Clark searched, but found none, so he 
 answered : 
 
 " I have not." 
 
 " Neither have I." 
 
 "Then we are lost !" said Clark. 
 
 "Well, see here, stranger, 't is n't such a 
 joking matter. I have been here only a few 
 weeks, and to tell you the truth, it would puzzle 
 
40 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 me a good deal to find my way back without a 
 light." 
 
 " What do you propose doing ? " asked Clark. 
 
 " Well, we are on the top floor, and can't be 
 a great way from the room we want. The man 
 in it probably has matches. Now, let me think 
 a minute. Here 's the top of the stairs. Now 
 by going on to the end of this hall, then to the 
 left, and a short turn to the right, I think we 
 shall fetch it. If we don't hit it the first time, 
 we '11 come mighty close to it. Oh, we '11 
 find it." 
 
 " Go on, my brave man. I '11 follow thee," 
 said Clark. 
 
 They went feeling their way along for a while, 
 and then the guide said : 
 
 " I don't think we are on the right track after 
 all. I 'm sort of turned around." 
 
 " I should think you would have light-houses 
 here and there. If we can't find the room, I 
 suppose we must drop anchor and ' lay to ' till 
 daylight." 
 
 They had proceeded into the cave a little 
 farther when the guide stopped, gave a stamp, 
 and exclaimed : " What a fool I am!" 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 4 1 
 
 " What 's the matter now ? " asked Clark. 
 
 " Nothing — only I had forgotten about this 
 man. No trouble to find him ! Just listen ! " 
 
 " I hear a noise like unto the united efforts of 
 a number of swine," said Clark. 
 
 " That 's him! " 
 
 " It never rains but it pours — that is, he 
 never breathes but he snores," muttered Clark. 
 
 " Do you object to rooming with a man who 
 snores ? " queried the guide. 
 
 " Have you a lounge anywhere upon which I 
 can lie down?" asked Clark, instead of an- 
 swering the guide's question. 
 
 " Yes, down-stairs in the parlor there 's one. 
 But we must get some matches. You don't 
 want to take that bed, then? " 
 
 " No, I thank you. I had a taste of this 
 kind of thing on a sleeping-car to-night." 
 
 " You don't mean to tell me you ever heard 
 any one snore like this before ? " 
 
 " No ; not just in this style. This is more 
 suggestive of stile, more a la swine than any 
 thing I ever heard before," said Clark. 
 
 " I suppose he will think it is a trifle strange 
 to be woke up for matches at this time of 
 night," said the guide. 
 
42 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " I should think it likely ! Do you know the 
 man well ? " 
 
 u Yes, he used to board at the Sun Hotel in 
 Dodgeville when I was clerking there. I have 
 met him only once since I came here." 
 
 " Well, knock away! " 
 
 The guide rapped gently. 
 
 No answer, but the man snored on. 
 
 The guide knocked harder, and again still 
 harder, and soon there was a change in the style 
 of the person within, the grunts becoming less 
 regular, and at last he awoke. 
 
 " Who 's there ? " 
 
 " Me ; Jack Hart." 
 
 " I don't know you." 
 
 " Yes, you do. I used to work at the \ Sun.' " 
 
 (" I '11 warrant he wishes you were at the sun 
 now," whispered Clark.) 
 
 " Well, what do you want, anyhow ? " 
 
 " I want some matches." 
 
 " Matches ! What do you mean by bother- 
 ing me for matches at this time of the night ! I 
 don't believe you are Jack Hart. What is my 
 name ? " 
 
 " Smith." 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 43 
 
 (" That was n't a hard conundrum ; any one 
 could have guessed that," said Clark, softly.) 
 
 " Who is that other fellow with you ? " 
 
 " A traveller from the East." 
 
 (" You should have said a wise man from the 
 East," again whispered Clark.) 
 
 " What 's he doing along with you, any- 
 how ? " 
 
 " That is a tough question and it will take a 
 world of explanation," whispered Clark. 
 
 " That s a fact! " said the guide. 
 
 " If you tell him just how and why I happen 
 to be here, and that I don't like his style of 
 snoring it may make him mad, and then he will 
 not give us any matches. Tell him you were 
 showing me to a room and the candle went 
 out." 
 
 The guide so stated. 
 
 " What does all this whispering mean, I 'd 
 like to know. I believe you are a couple of 
 sneak thieves or worse. I '11 poke some 
 matches through the keyhole, and then you fel- 
 lows just git ! " 
 
 When the guide had received the matches 
 and lighted the candle he again led the way, 
 
44 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 and in the course of time they were out of the 
 cave. 
 
 Clark lay down on a lounge in the parlor and 
 was soon fast asleep, not awakening till eight 
 o'clock. 
 
 He made a hasty toilet in the " wash-room," 
 paid his bill, and then went to the hotel where 
 he had first applied for accommodations. 
 
 There had been a number of departures by 
 the morning trains, and Clark was given a large 
 and handsomely furnished room. He had an 
 excellent breakfast, and this, together with his 
 pleasant room and a short intercourse with his 
 precious violin, soon put him in good spirits. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 45 
 
 VIII. 
 
 CLARK'S business experiences in Colum- 
 bus are not worthy of special notice. 
 He did very little there, and was glad when 
 the time came to move on to Cincinnati. 
 
 The train for Cincinnati arrived at Columbus 
 from the East one hour late, and continued to 
 
 lose time after leaving Columbus. It was one a.m. 
 <_> 
 
 when Clark reached his destination. He had 
 telegraphed for a room, and was given very 
 pleasant quarters. 
 
 " Now, I '11 have my sleep out this time. I 
 have n't averaged six hours out of the twenty- 
 four so far on this trip, and I feel used up," 
 thought Clark, as he put out the gas and 
 opened the window before getting into bed. 
 He slept soundly until about five o'clock, when 
 he awoke, and with one bound sprang out 
 of bed with the exclamation : " The house 
 is on fire! " The next moment he had grasped 
 
46 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 his violin, expecting to have to run for its life 
 and his own. The room was filled with smoke 
 almost to suffocation, but Clark now discovered 
 that the source of all the trouble was a large 
 chimney across the street, out of which was 
 pouring dense volumes of soft-coal smoke. It 
 was a rainy day, and this smoke seemed to 
 make a bee-line for Clark's open window. He 
 also discovered that his spasmodic cry of 
 " The house is on fire ! " was making trouble, 
 for the occupant of an adjoining room — a 
 woman — was now screaming : " Fire ! fire ! " 
 at the top of her voice. 
 
 In a twinkling there was great commotion in 
 the house ; many took up the cry of " Fire ! 
 fire ! " and the screaming and general con- 
 fusion was something which Clark will never 
 forget. 
 
 He had closed his window, and now, in his 
 bare feet, and with a linen duster thrown over 
 his night-gown, was in the hall, where he 
 beheld men, women, and children, many of 
 them in more scant attire than himself, rushing 
 about. Some were carrying their clothes, and 
 all were bent upon leaving the rapidly burning 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 47 
 
 building as hastily as their legs would permit. 
 
 " The fire is out ! No danger ! It 's all 
 right ! " cried Clark, as he ran through the 
 halls, " up stairs and down stairs, and in other 
 persons' chambers," trying to quiet the panic- 
 stricken guests. He succeeded pretty well, and 
 by the time the steam fire-engines came flying 
 up to the hotel comparative quiet reigned 
 again. 
 
 " After all this row of my own manufacture I 
 don't believe I shall have my sleep out, after 
 all," thought Clark. He found he was too 
 wide-awake to sleep any more, and so dressed 
 and went down stairs. It was too early for 
 breakfast, and he took a walk across the bridge, 
 to Covington, Ky., and return. When he went 
 in to breakfast, every one was talking about 
 the fire. The fact that there had really been 
 no fire was not yet known to the guests, and 
 poor Clark was obliged to hear conversation 
 like the following : 
 
 " How fortunate it was that the fire was put 
 out before it made much headway." 
 
 " Yes. In what part of the house was the 
 fire anyhow ? " 
 
4# A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " I don't know." 
 
 ".If it had n't been for that lady, who first 
 discovered it, giving the alarm so promptly, we 
 might have all been burned up." 
 
 " That s a fact. But that tall man in a long 
 duster showed great presence of mind, and 
 quieted the frantic ones before the fire was 
 really out." 
 
 " So I understand. Do you know his 
 name ? " 
 
 " No, I don't. He ought to have a vote of 
 thanks from the guests. We must lead in the 
 matter, and find out who he is." ■ 
 
 Thus did the conversation run on, and Clark 
 felt more sheepish every moment. He would 
 not have been surprised had the wool come 
 out all over him. In fact he did actually say, 
 " Bah ! " and left the table without eating much 
 breakfast. As he entered the hotel office a 
 bell-boy handed him a note. It was a re- 
 quest from the proprietor to call at the private 
 office. 
 
 Clark called forthwith. Of course it was 
 about the fire. The occupant of the room 
 adjoining Clark's was a sister of the proprietor, 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 49 
 
 and she had told her brother about Clark's cry 
 of " The house is on fire ! " The proprietor 
 wanted to know what it all meant. Clark ex- 
 plained. The host, who was of goodly propor- 
 tions, leaned back in his chair and laughed 
 until Clark feared one person would yet be 
 seriously injured by the fire. When the pro- 
 prietor had subsided, he said to Clark : 
 
 " Don't be distressed over this matter. Your 
 fire has done no damage. On the contrary, it 
 has been a good thing; for the fire-hose with 
 which this house is supplied has, through your 
 agency, been found to be unfit for use. The 
 very servants, too, whose duty it is to turn fire- 
 men on such an occasion, rushed to their rooms 
 to save their personal effects, and some of them 
 left the hotel on a run and have not yet re- 
 turned. I suppose they are running yet ! " 
 
 Clark went to his room, and, taking up his 
 violin, played " Scotland's Burning " ; after 
 which he ran into something more classic,' 
 and then, samples in hand, he went forth to 
 solicit orders. 
 
50 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 IX. 
 
 eLARK again went through the experience 
 of finding himself one among many 
 salesmen, all bent upon presenting the merits 
 of their respective wares, in the most favorable 
 light possible, to the various buyers. 
 
 During the morning he met no less than nine 
 salesmen representing firms competing with his 
 own, and while he was familiar with the saying, 
 " Competition is the life of trade," he could not 
 help feeling that it would have been more 
 agreeable to have had less " life " and fewer 
 competitors in town that day. 
 
 He mused : " I thought I knew what com- 
 petition was, but a few days' experience as a 
 commercial traveller has taught me that we 
 who remain at home know very little of how 
 our travellers have to work and scheme for 
 trade." 
 
 Clark did nothing that morning further than 
 to have short conversations with several buy- 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 5 I 
 
 ers, two of whom appointed certain hours in 
 the afternoon for looking at samples of keels 
 and hearing prices. 
 
 With one exception all the buyers were very 
 courteous and sociable. Their offices were 
 thrown wide open to the visiting salesmen, all 
 who called were invited to be seated, and every 
 thing was conducted in a pleasant manner. In 
 one office Clark was told : " I 'm sorry to be 
 obliged to put you off till Monday, but we will 
 be glad to figure with you then, at eleven in the 
 morning, if that hour will suit you. If you have 
 any writing to do there is a desk here at your 
 disposal." 
 
 Another buyer said : " There are several 
 salesmen ahead of you, Mr. Clark, but I shall 
 have finished with them this morning. If you 
 will call at two o'clock I shall be ready for you. 
 Or, come to lunch with me at one o'clock and 
 after that we can transact our business." 
 
 Clark accepted the invitation, and the lunch 
 proved to be a most palatable repast. After 
 this, buyer and seller returned to the store and 
 Clark took a good order, without a hitch. 
 Everywhere there was a genuine hospitality 
 
$2 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 shown Clark in Cincinnati, with one exception. 
 
 This " Exception " to the heartiness and 
 agreeableness of Cincinnati's buyers was a man 
 who, instead of having an office where com- 
 mercial travellers could be comfortably seated 
 while transacting business, had a little place 
 fenced in, kept sacred for his own use, the 
 salesman standing on the outside of the sanc- 
 tum. It was a wire office, and the man inside 
 had a somewhat savage countenance. Alto- 
 gether there was considerable of a caged- 
 animal air about the wire enclosure. 
 
 To be sure, there was a place in another part 
 of the store, where travellers were sometimes 
 invited to display their samples, when numer- 
 ous, the caged animal then coming out to de- 
 vour them — the samples, not the travellers 4 . 
 
 Clark called on this person at about four 
 o'clock. The man was in his cage, writing. 
 
 Clark waited a few moments before intro- 
 ducing himself, and as he looked at the man he 
 thought of lines in a Primer, as follows : 
 
 " This is a Bear. He is in his Cage. If you 
 put your Hand in the Cage He will Bite you ! " 
 
 Clark presented his card. The man looked 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 53 
 
 at it, said " In a minute," and kept on writing. 
 Clark waited uneasily for fully five minutes, and 
 then said : 
 
 " Can you give me a few moments' attention ? 
 If not, I'll go." 
 
 The man in the cage looked up, and said in 
 a patronizing tone : 
 
 " Well, sir, what can I do for you ? " 
 
 Now, Clark interpreted this " Well, sir, what 
 can I do for you ? " thus : 
 
 "Well, sir, what do you want? You are here 
 in distress, and have come to ask a favor. I 'm 
 weary of beggars ! " so Clark said : 
 
 " Oh, I 'm not in any trouble. I 'm neither 
 hungry, thirsty, nor sick, and I m pretty well 
 off for clothes." 
 
 The man in the cage appeared somewhat 
 startled at this reply, and looked sharply at 
 Clark. 
 
 Then he said : 
 
 " I suppose you are here to sell goods. If 
 you have any specially low prices to quote, 
 let 's have them." 
 
 Clark gave quotations on hulls and other 
 goods, and the man in the cage said : 
 
54 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " I think you have something back of these 
 prices, something lower." 
 
 The man had gaped continually while hear- 
 ing Clark's figures, so when the man questioned 
 the prices, Clark could not resist saying : 
 
 " A man with as open a countenance as you 
 have should not be suspicious." 
 
 The man in the cage looked sharply at Clark 
 again but probably did not see the drift of the 
 remark. 
 
 " I have my samples of keels with me," said 
 Clark. 
 
 " Don't care to look at them. Am full. But 
 if you will give me five per cent, off of the price 
 you quoted on hulls, I '11 buy some." 
 
 " I don't want your order at any different 
 price than that which I named," said Clark. 
 
 The man then said that Clark could send 
 such and such a quantity of several articles, but 
 he fought for lower prices on every thing. 
 During all this transaction the man in the cage 
 had occupied a large arm-chair, Clark having to 
 stand outside meanwhile — very mean while, he 
 thought. 
 
 This was Clark's first and last experience on 
 
' WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 55 
 
 his trip of being treated, as he thought, rudely. 
 The other buyers of Cincinnati had been so 
 very hospitable and pleasant that the actions of 
 the man in the cage stood out all the more 
 glaringly. 
 
 One buyer had named five o'clock that after- 
 noon for Clark to call. 
 
 This person would have been able to have 
 given Clark his undivided attention, had it not 
 been for the telephone. Clark was interrupted 
 by calls from that little bell four or five times 
 within half an hour, and he wished the tele- 
 phone had never been invented. It was cer- 
 tainly far from pleasant when, as the buyer 
 was apparently ready to begin giving an order, 
 some one should wring the order from Clark's 
 grasp, so to speak, by simply ringing that little 
 bell. Then, too, the conversation at the tele- 
 phone was necessarily uninteresting to Clark, 
 by reason of its one-sidedness — as for example : 
 
 Ding-a-ling-a-ling ! 
 
 " Well, who is it ? " 
 
 " Can't understand you." 
 
 " Talk louder." 
 
 " Now I get you." 
 
$6 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " Well." 
 
 -What's that?" 
 
 -Oh!" 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " When ? " 
 
 « I 11 try." 
 
 " No." 
 
 « Well." 
 
 " Can't say." 
 
 " Perhaps." 
 
 " Will if I can." 
 
 " Not at all." 
 
 "Is that really a fact ? " 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha ! " 
 
 " Can't." 
 
 " Good-bye." 
 
 Clark did no business with this person, and 
 he firmly believed that the telephone was the 
 cause of his failure. 
 
 One buyer whom he met that day had nu- 
 merous large photographs of commercial trav- 
 ellers hanging on the walls of his office. He 
 called this his " Art Gallery," forgetting, per- 
 haps, that the commercial traveller is the most 
 artless of mortals ! 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 57 
 
 In the evening, Clark was one of a party of 
 eight commercial travellers who took supper 
 together at the hotel. 
 
 Clark had made the acquaintance of his fel- 
 low " tourists " at Pittsburgh and Cincinnati. 
 
 They all went in company to the theatre that 
 evening, to see a celebrated English actor. 
 
5 8 ,4 COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 X. 
 
 " n " AM thankful to-morrow will be Sunday. 
 
 JL No talking to be done for a while over 
 quality of goods and prices. I '11 go to Louis- 
 ville by steamer Monday night, and so shall have 
 no long car rides until I leave Louisville for In- 
 dianapolis. Commercial travelling is the hardest 
 business I ever got into. What with travelling 
 at night to make time and working all day to 
 make sales, there isn't much time for any rest." 
 
 Clark was ruminating ; but he did not spend 
 much time in this way. He was tired and 
 sleepy, having had three successive poor nights. 
 After a little music from his violin he went to 
 bed and was soon asleep, his last thoughts being 
 that he was glad he should not have to hear any- 
 thing about business, goods, or prices on the 
 morrow. 
 
 When he awoke the following morning he 
 found that he had been mistaken in thinking he 
 should have a quiet Sunday, free from all hints 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 59 
 
 of business, for two commercial travellers, of the 
 Jewish persuasion, and both of them in the 
 clothing line, occupied the rooms on each side 
 of him. They had already commenced receiv- 
 ing customers and were setting forth the merits 
 of their wares most eloquently. From the loud 
 tones of one of these salesmen, Clark judged 
 there was a deaf customer to be dealt with. 
 Now, Clark could have no reasonable grudge 
 against these people for doing business on Sun- 
 day. It was not their Sabbath. Still, before he 
 had heard them in operation long, he went down 
 to the office and asked to have his room changed. 
 The clerk seemed surprised, and said: 
 11 We cannot give you as pleasant a room any- 
 where else. What objection have you to your 
 present quarters ? " 
 
 " The room is very pleasant ; but I want to 
 spend a quiet Sunday." 
 
 " Is it particularly noisy where you are? " 
 " It might be worse. But can't you give me 
 a room not next door to any salesmen who 
 should keep Saturday instead of Sunday. Un- 
 derstand, I am not finding fault with my neigh- 
 bors, who are Jews, for working to-day. Not 
 
6o A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 at all — but I would prefer to be where I can 
 read and write in peace to-day." 
 
 The clerk gave Clark another room which, 
 though two flights higher up, was pleasant 
 enough. 
 
 It was a beautiful day, and soon after nine 
 o'clock Clark started off for a long walk, with 
 the intention of attending church wherever he 
 might find himself at the proper hour. He 
 crossed the Ohio over a fine bridge, and within 
 half an hour was fairly in the country. It was 
 a very pretty country, too, with its quaint Ken- 
 tucky homes, and fields of waving corn. Soon 
 a village, or perhaps it was a city, came in view. 
 There was no scarcity of churches, and the bells 
 were ringing for the last time. Clark being an 
 Episcopalian made inquiries of a person he met, 
 and was directed to the church of that denomi- 
 nation. 
 
 When he entered this church the organist was 
 playing the voluntary and Clark recognized the 
 piece as being a selection from that very churchly 
 composition, namely : the Opera of Faust! 
 " Alas," thought Clark, " have I indeed run afoul 
 of one of those churches where the organist 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 6 1 
 
 and choir try to spread themselves ? It looks 
 very much like it. There's the quartette, with 
 their sheets of music, looking very important! " 
 
 The voluntary being ended what a change, 
 what a contrast to this secular music, when the 
 minister pronounced in solemn tones: "The 
 Lord is in his Holy Temple ; let all the earth 
 keep silence before him," Faust still ringing in 
 the ears of the congregation ! 
 
 The music for the Venite executed — more 
 properly murdered — by the choir that morning 
 was a very intricate composition. Sung by a 
 good quartette, it is a treat to any lover of good 
 music to listen to it. 
 
 Clark was familiar with the music, and although 
 he had never been considered a nervous man, 
 he felt very much on edge when they launched 
 out on this Venite ; for, from the start, it 
 was plain there were no singers in that choir. 
 Were the congregation not familiar with the 
 service they could not have told in what lan- 
 guage the choir were trying to sing, the words 
 were mumbled and jumbled together in so fan- 
 tastic a fashion. 
 
 There was not the slightest difficulty in tell- 
 
62 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 ing who was the leader of the choir, for the basso 
 was always perceptibly ahead! There were 
 some bad breaks, but at last in a hop-skip-and- 
 jump style, the choir finished the Venite> and 
 the congregation gave a great sigh of relief. 
 Even the minister looked easier. There was 
 whispering now going on in the choir, and Clark 
 turned his head in that direction a moment. He 
 concluded the situation was about as follows: 
 The organist was affirming solemnly that he 
 was all right. The basso was hinting the tenor 
 was at fault. The tenor knows he was O K 
 but is certain the basso was n't. The soprano 
 and contralto were too much put out with each 
 other, and with everybody else, to venture say- 
 ing any thing, but their looks spoke volumes. 
 
 The music for the7> Deum, the next im- 
 portant piece on the programme, was also a 
 difficult composition, with many twists and pit- 
 falls. There is one portion of it which sounds 
 very much like an old-fashioned school " round." 
 In the part referred to, one singer starts up, then 
 another, and another, and so on until each mem- 
 ber of the quartette is doing his or her best to 
 keep in the crooked path laid out. Clark was 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 63 
 
 again on edge, for he knew of the traps set in 
 this piece to ensnare. 
 
 " I wonder how the soprano will manage those 
 high notes in her solo," he thought. " She is 
 getting into dangerous waters. The waves grow 
 higher farther out at sea. Wait till she strikes 
 the high C." It was a squeal, but she did it. 
 
 Now they were coming to the " round," and 
 entered boldly ; but, lo ! while in the middle of 
 this part the organ sighed, groaned, gave one 
 unearthly scream, and then refused to respond 
 to the touch of the organist. The blowers — 
 two boys who had shown themselves between 
 the pieces — had let the wind out. Perhaps 
 they had quarrelled, and ceased blowing in 
 order that they might have free use of their 
 arms and fists for blows of a different kind. 
 
 Both basso and tenor rushed behind the 
 organ, but the boys were pumping again with 
 all their might. 
 
 The Te Deum went on minus the " round," 
 but no further intricate music was attempted 
 that day, and Clark was surprised to find that 
 the choir could stoop so low as to sing some 
 good old chants and hymns. 
 
 Clark sang, and others near him joined in 
 
64 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 with their voices until the choir were pretty 
 effectually drowned. Indeed, the whole con- 
 gregation gradually warmed up and sang — a 
 state of things which Clark believed was not 
 often permitted in that church. 
 
 Had the choir not broken down in the Te 
 Deiim, it is not at all likely that they would 
 have condescended to sing any thing in which 
 the " common people " could join. 
 
 After the sermon, Clark began his return 
 tramp to Cincinnati. For a short distance he 
 was entertained by a discussion over the music, 
 carried on by two men who were walking just 
 ahead of him. 
 
 " There 's no use in our standing this attempt 
 at operatic music any longer, and I for one 
 mean to put my foot down on it at once." 
 
 " It is disagreeable, but I fear 't will make a 
 row in the parish if we stir the matter up." 
 
 " Well, let it. I wish to goodness we had 
 never got the new organ ; then our organist 
 would never have tried to give us the opera, 
 nor the singers attempted to ape expert city 
 choirs." 
 
 Clark heard no more of this conversation, for 
 the men had turned off into a side street. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING, 65 
 
 XL 
 
 HIS first call, Monday morning, was upon a 
 firm doing business in a handsome five- 
 story building near the hotel. He was told by one 
 of the clerks that the buyer was to be found in 
 the rear office. As Clark entered this office he 
 saw, seated at a desk, a person whom he sup- 
 posed to be the buyer, and so presented the 
 card of Dale & Clark, saying as usual : " My 
 name is Clark." 
 
 The individual addressed did not even look 
 up, but kept his head down, at the same time 
 having one hand raised as if to shield his eyes 
 from the light. 
 
 . Clark imagined the man was deaf, so he 
 raised his voice : " My name is Clark, of the 
 firm of Dale & Clark." 
 
 The man placed a hand to one ear — still 
 shielding his eyes with the other hand — and 
 said : " A little louder, please." 
 
 Clark braced himself, took a long breath, and 
 
66 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 in such a tone as he might have employed in 
 hailing a distant vessel, cried out : " My name 
 is Clark, of the firm of Dale & Clark." 
 
 " Beg your pardon, but did you say your 
 name was Stark ? " 
 
 " No ; Oarkr— C-1-a-r-k." 
 
 " Oh, Lark. Well, go on." 
 
 The man still kept his hand in front of his 
 eyes, and Clark felt very much embarrassed. 
 
 " I am making a business trip for our firm," 
 howled Clark. 
 
 " Making a trip for fun, did you say ? " asked 
 the man. 
 
 Clark gave himself an extra brace and yelled : 
 " No ! I-am-making-a-trip-for-our-firm." 
 
 " Whose firm ? " 
 
 " Dale & Clark." 
 
 " Oh, now I understand you. Beg your par- 
 don. A competitor of yours is here to-day, and 
 we are intending to give him a large order for 
 every thing which we need in your line — so 
 there is no chance for you ! " 
 
 This was a strange speech, and Clark was 
 much taken aback. The deaf man continued : 
 " The truth of the matter is, we need lots of 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 6? 
 
 goods, car-loads, in fact. If you had come a few 
 days earlier, and offered to sell to us at seventy- 
 five per cent, less than any one else would, we 
 might have bought a train-load of you." 
 
 Clark was puzzled still more, and began to 
 think the man was drunk. 
 
 " We will look into matters, however, in the 
 course of a week or two," continued the man, 
 " and in the meantime please call in to see us 
 twice a day." 
 
 This was strange c Clark could not seem to 
 find words for utterance, but stood almost as 
 motionless as a statue. The man still held his 
 hand over his eyes, so that Clark could see very 
 little of his face, and after a short pause, said : 
 " Have a seat, Mr. Lark. You '11 find a Cin- 
 cinnati paper here not over a month old. In 
 the course of a few hours I '11 talk to you. 
 Don't be in a hurry." 
 
 Clark now looked about him for the first time, 
 and saw that the book-keeper and several other 
 persons in the office were shaking with laughter. 
 
 The deaf man looked up and held out his 
 hand to Clark, saying : " Old messmate, how 
 are you ? " 
 
63 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 He was not the buyer at all, nor was his 
 hearing bad. He was a jocular friend with 
 whom Clark had made a cruise the summer be- 
 fore in the Fleetwing, and had come to Cincin- 
 nati to attend a wedding. He. was to leave for 
 New York that afternoon. Clark was now in- 
 troduced to the real buyer — a cousin of Clark's 
 friend, — who proved to be a very agreeable 
 man. He gave Clark a good order, and invited 
 him to dinner. It was a good dinner, too, and 
 Clark enjoyed it. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 69 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 CLARK had finished his business in Cin- 
 cinnati, and was aboard the Louisville 
 steamer. 
 
 This boat had a large number of passengers 
 aboard. Clark went to the clerk's office, and 
 was given a key to a state-room. Upon open- 
 ing the door he was surprised to find another 
 person's luggage in the room. Returning at 
 once to the office, he said to the clerk : 
 
 " You have made a mistake, giving me a 
 room which is already occupied." 
 
 "No mistake about it at all. We can't gave 
 
 o 
 
 a passenger a room to himself when the boat is 
 as full as it is to-day. If we did, half the pas- 
 sengers would sit up. There are two berths 
 in each room." 
 
 " I supposed I paid for my room and was en- 
 titled to it." 
 
 " No, sir. There is no extra charge for 
 rooms or meals. You paid your fare, which 
 
70 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 entitles you to a berth, but not to a whole 
 room." 
 
 " I thought you ran these boats the same as 
 is done on the Sound, and other Eastern 
 routes, — that is, charged so much for passage, 
 and an additional dollar or more for a room. I 
 don't want to room with a stranger, and would 
 rather pay double fare, and will do so if you 
 give me a room to myself." 
 
 " Every thing is taken except one room in a 
 pretty warm part of the boat. You can have 
 that." 
 
 " I '11 take it," said Clark. " How much more 
 shall I pay you ? " 
 
 "Nothing extra." 
 
 When he entered this room it was pretty 
 warm. The floor was almost hot to the touch, 
 the boilers being directly underneath. 
 
 He was disappointed to find no wash-bowl 
 nor water in the room. 
 
 He again went to the clerk, and reported 
 there were no conveniences for washing, and 
 requested that basin, water, and towels be sup- 
 plied. 
 
 " We don't furnish such things in the rooms," 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. /I 
 
 said the clerk, " You will find a wash-room in 
 connection with the bar and barber-shop." 
 
 Clark found his way to the wash-room. 
 Long towels, already much soiled, hung on roll- 
 ers, and he saw at once that his best plan was 
 to make the acquaintance of the barber. Clark 
 went to his state-room and got out his soap, 
 brush, and razor, and was soon on the best 
 terms with the barber, who, while shaving 
 Clark, gave an account of his experiences during 
 the " wan." 
 
 He had been a slave in Alabama, but ran 
 away the first year of the conflict, arriving 
 North safely. But although he found himself 
 his own master, liberty proved to have many 
 hardships, and he was so homesick to see his 
 wife and children, that he made several at- 
 tempts to return to " de ole plantation." 
 
 Finally he was " gobbled up by de Union 
 pickets." An army officer took a fancy to him, 
 and made him body-servant. He remained 
 with this officer till the close of the war, and 
 then went in search of his family, finding them 
 safe and sound on the old plantation ; but " ole 
 massa" had been killed in one of the last bat- 
 
72 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 ties, and the estate had changed hands. " With 
 massa gone dead, an' de kind missus and all de 
 kind children gone away, I se mos' heart- 
 broken, and we could n't stay thar no mo' ; so 
 we came to Louisville, an' we are doin' right 
 smart, sah ! " concluded the barber. 
 
 During Clark's stay in the barber-shop, the 
 steamer had been going down the river rapid- 
 ly, and when he went out on deck the high, 
 green banks of the " Old Kentucky Shore " 
 stood forth in all their beauty. It reminded him 
 of the beautiful Connecticut up which he had 
 sailed in the Fleetwing. Many pretty houses, 
 with broad verandas, dotted the Kentucky side 
 of the river, and there was nothing wanting to 
 make it a perfect river scene, save the presence 
 of sailing craft. Not a sail did Clark see. 
 Probably the swiftness of the current and the 
 numerous shoals prevent yachting to any extent 
 on the Ohio. Clark now began to feel hungry. 
 On going into the main saloon, he saw supper 
 was already in progress. He took a seat be- 
 tween two gentlemen, and as he did so he no- 
 ticed that some of those at the table looked 
 at him rather sharply for a moment. Clark was 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 73 
 
 astonished to find such a sumptuous repast as 
 the one now spread before him. He was hun- 
 gry, and enjoyed the good things very much. 
 It was a very lively company, too, and Clark 
 thought that, for a chance collection of trav- 
 ellers, they seemed very well acquainted with 
 each other. The conversation was spirited and 
 often witty. When wine of various kinds, in- 
 cluding champagne, began to flow freely 
 around that table, Clark was more astonished 
 than before. 
 
 " Why, this is a long way ahead of ocean 
 travel ! " he thought. 
 
 The wine having been discussed, certain per- 
 sons were called upon for speeches. 
 
 " I wonder no writer has ever given us an 
 account of how they do things on Ohio River 
 steamers," thought Clark. " Here, for the small 
 sum of three dollars, you can travel miles and 
 miles, — no charge for state-rooms, and an oppor- 
 tunity given for every passenger to get drunk 
 on the best of wines ! I don't see how there 
 can be a cent in it, the way some of these men 
 drink ! " 
 
 But the first speech was now being made, 
 and a crowd had gathered around the table. 
 
74 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 The captain and others connected with the 
 Louisville Packet Line were thanked, " in the 
 name of the Common Council of Cincinnati, for 
 the pleasant excursion and bountiful repast," — 
 and then Clark longed to find a hole into which 
 he might drop out of sight, for he had unwit- 
 tingly seated himself at a table to which only a 
 favored few had been invited! The regular 
 supper for the passengers had not yet com- 
 menced. At first he thought he ought to arise 
 and explain, but decided it would be the wiser 
 plan to keep quiet and sit it out. He was relieved 
 when the last speech had been made and the 
 party arose and dispersed. 
 
 Clark again went forward and enjoyed the 
 scenery very much. Gradually there were less 
 and less of habitations, and at a point where no 
 dwelling was to be seen the steamer took 
 aboard four passengers. The party consisted 
 of a very old man and woman, and a younger 
 couple verging on fifty. It soon became whis- 
 pered around that these were two newly mar- 
 ried couples, starting out on their wedding jour- 
 ney to Louisville. Clark could credit this report 
 so far as it related to the younger couple, — 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 75 
 
 though he thought they were old enough to 
 know better, — but the other pair appeared 
 anything but bridal. All four found seats near 
 Clark, and fell in with an acquaintance to whom 
 the old man told the whole story of their court- 
 ship, speaking in tones which could be heard 
 by all on the forward deck. The old man said : 
 " You see, we — thet is me and the old woman 
 — hed no idee of sich a thing as gettin' spliced 
 till one day Jeemes let on thet he was sorter 
 smit with Maria. Maria, you know, is the name 
 of her gal, and Jeemes is my boy. Wal, Maria, 
 by the way, is forty-seving or tharabouts, — 
 can't tell 'zackly, 'cause she 's a woman, — haw! 
 haw ! haw ! — and Jeemes he 's forty-nine come 
 November. Wal, my wife thet now is did n't 
 take to partin' with her gal, no how, and I 
 did n't like to let my boy go. Could n't spare 
 him now thet I own no nigger. The United 
 States oughter pay me for thet nigger. Wal, 
 sez I to Mrs. Jorkins thet then was, but now is 
 Mrs. Rangley — haw ! haw ! haw ! — sez I : ' Mrs. 
 Jorkins ' (her old man 's been gone these thirty 
 years), sez I : ' Mrs. Jorkins, thar 's just one way 
 of a-flxin' this 'ere bizness, and thet is for you 
 
?6 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 to hitch on to me. My house is big enough fer 
 all on us, an' I hev a right smart lot of pigs and 
 things, and forty acres in corn to fatten 'em on. 
 Let 's all git spliced to onct, and live at my 
 house like the Happy Family we 've hearn of 
 at Barnum's ! ' ' Thet ain't no bad idee,' sez 
 Mrs. Jorkins thet then was, but now is Mrs. 
 Rangley — haw ! haw ! haw ! — ' an' I '11 feel 
 Maria on the subjec', an' if she sez do it, why it 
 don't make no 'ticular difference to me, and I '11 
 be thar ! ' Well, Maria, it seems, sez, \ Take 
 him up ! ' and she tuck me up ; and here we all 
 is, right from the 'squire's ; and I think it 's a 
 good 'rangement — don't you ? " There was a 
 chorus of yeses and not a little merriment 
 when the old man closed his story. 
 
 When Clark got into his narrow bed he 
 found it very warm and very hard. If he 
 opened the door which communicated with the 
 deck it would let in the cool air, but there 
 would be nothing to prevent a thief from com- 
 ing in and robbing him. " I '11 leave the door 
 open a while, but will not go to sleep without 
 closing and locking it," thought Clark. But he 
 did fall asleep, though it was an accident, and 
 
With an uncommercial ending. ?f 
 
 when he awoke the next morning his door was 
 as he had left it, wide open, and the steamer 
 was lying quietly at the Louisville levee. 
 
 Clark had put his waistcoat, in a pocket of 
 which were his watch and money, under the 
 mattress. This was safe, but he looked in vain 
 for his pantaloons. 
 
 Nothing else was missing, but he would 
 almost have preferred to have had his watch 
 taken just then than those trousers. He called 
 one of the colored waiters, who came and 
 listened to Clark's tale. The colored boy re- 
 ported the loss to the clerk, and that official 
 came and condoled with Clark, reminding him 
 at the same time that to leave an outside door 
 open on a steamer containing all kinds of peo- 
 ple was a very risky thing to do. 
 
 " As I have no other suit with me my best 
 plan will be to send some one up-town to pur- 
 chase a pair of pantaloons," said Clark. 
 
 " I can lend you a pair, if you will accept 
 them. Then you can make your own selection 
 at some store," said the clerk. 
 
 Clark took in the size of the clerk, and con- 
 cluded there would be some trouble getting 
 
78 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 into the pantaloons, but nevertheless said : 
 " Thank you ; I will accept yours gladly. But 
 perhaps mine may be somewhere on deck or 
 elsewhere on board. The thief most likely 
 wanted them for the contents of the pockets 
 and may have thrown them in some corner." 
 
 " I '11 have a thorough search made, "said the 
 clerk. " Was there much in the pockets ? " 
 
 " Very little. A knife, some loose change, 
 and — goodness ! — the keys to my trunk and 
 valise." 
 
 " That 's unfortunate," said the clerk. 
 
 " For the thief?" 
 
 " Well, I was thinking of your keys — but 
 V was a poor haul for the thief ! I '11 have that 
 search made at once." 
 
 Nothing was found of the stolen articles. 
 The clerk's pantaloons proved to be of very 
 limited dimensions for Clark. They were sev 
 eral inches too short, and several degrees too 
 tight. 
 
 " Are they a success? "asked the clerk, open- 
 ing the door a little. 
 
 "A limited success," said Clark ; " but I am 
 thankful for them all the same." 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. ?Q 
 
 Clark entered a hack, and was driven to a 
 clothing- store, where he tried on and on, but 
 did not find a fit. Finally the clothier said he 
 could make Clark a pair in the course of the 
 day. 
 
 " What am I to do in the meantime ? " asked 
 Clark. y. 
 
 " Oh, I 'II lend you the nearest fitting of these 
 until to-morrow morning." 
 
 Clark selected the goods, was measured, and 
 then, arrayed in another pair of borrowed 
 pantaloons, went to the hotel and had break- 
 fast. After this, he hunted up a locksmith. It 
 took over an hour to fit keys to valise and 
 trunk, but when this was at last accomplished 
 Clark gave a little time to his violin, and was 
 then ready for business. 
 
 i 
 
 i 
 > 
 
80 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 XIII. 
 
 ALL the Louisville merchants whom Clark 
 met that day were Southern men, save 
 one. This exception was a man by the name 
 of Vogel, who was by birth a Pennsylvania 
 Dutchman. Vogel had lived in Louisville for 
 the past fifteen years, but he still spoke English 
 in a manner peculiar to his tribe. 
 
 Vogel was the buying partner of a prosper- 
 ous Louisville firm. It was toward the close of 
 the day when Clark called upon him. The 
 Dutchman chanced to speak of his old home in 
 Pennsylvania. Clark, who had several times 
 gone trouting in the county in which Vogel 
 formerly lived, had considerable to relate which 
 was interesting to the Dutchman — who with 
 great fervor exclaimed again and again. 
 
 -Veil! veil! Ish dot so ! " 
 
 Nothing short of Clark's going to supper and 
 spending the night at Vogel's home would suf- 
 fice. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 8 1 
 
 Vogel lived a distance of nearly six miles in 
 the country. It was a splendid drive, and a 
 smart span of horses, owned by Vogel, soon 
 carried them to. the Dutchman's home. As 
 they drove up to the house Clark noticed the 
 great number of cabbages growing in the gar- 
 den ; enough to supply the whole city of Louis- 
 ville, he thought. 
 
 " Dot ish mine gabbage orchard" said Vogel, 
 who then explained that he had a large family. 
 
 It was a rather peculiar supper to which 
 Clark sat down that evening. 
 
 The substantials consisted of fried fresh pork, 
 boiled cabbage, sauer-kraut, and Limburger 
 cheese — very old. 
 
 Not one of these things was exactly a favorite 
 dish with Clark, but he was very hungry, and 
 ate heartily, trusting that his usual good diges- 
 tion would hold out. 
 
 It did not, however, for he went to bed feel- 
 ing very much as though he had been dining on 
 lead. 
 
 Being tired he soon fell into an uneasy sleep 
 and had strange visions, culminating in a singular 
 dream which we venture recording here. 
 
82 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 He was a boy again — a bad boy, too, having 
 run away from school to go a-fishing. He was 
 in the woods and had a pole and line but no 
 hooks, having by accident swallowed the latter, 
 which were giving him much pain. 
 
 He sat down by a little waterfall, beneath 
 which he was sure trout were lying in wait. 
 The bad boy was wondering how, having 
 " played hooky," he could come into possession 
 of the articles which were necessary to enable 
 him to do some real hooking. 
 
 Suddenly a wagon stopped close to him and 
 the bad boy heard the driver say : " Veil ! veil ! 
 Ish dot so ! " — and the bad boy recognized the 
 face and voice of Vogel. 
 
 Being told to jump into the wagon the bad 
 boy did so, and sat down upon an enormous 
 Limburger cheese. 
 
 The wagon was loaded with these great 
 cheeses and barrels of sauer-kraut. 
 
 In his vision the bad boy saw pails of sauer- 
 kraut and Limburger cheeses growing as flowers 
 by the wayside ; and some lines came into his 
 head, running as follows : — 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 83 
 
 " By roadside way, yea all about, 
 
 Blooms that fair flower, the Sauer-kraut ; 
 Limburger, too, sweet as a rose, 
 Greets everywhere the upturned nose ! " 
 
 Two great temples now loomed up. One 
 was, in form and general appearance, like unto 
 a cabbage, while the other was of Limburger 
 style of architecture. 
 
 The wagon stopped before the first temple, 
 and two priests came out to meet it. Their 
 robes were made of cabbage-leaves ; and, as 
 they stood before the wagon swinging censers, 
 in which were burning cabbages, they muttered 
 something which, to the bad boy, seemed to be 
 a combination of Greek, Latin, and Pennsyl- 
 vania Dutch. At last the bad boy heard plainly 
 the magic word " Sauer-kraut ! " whereupon the 
 barrels containing that article dropped out of 
 the wagon, one by one, formed a true military 
 line, and marched into the temple. The B. B. 
 could see them standing there, " rank and file " 
 (especially \he former). " Even a cabbage-head 
 may be taught something, if properly manipu- 
 lated," thought the B. B. 
 
 The wagon now moved on to the other tem- 
 ple, and was met by two priests after the Order 
 
84 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 of Limburger. These latter priests were very 
 yellow both in costumes and countenances, and 
 this sallow look made them appear very bilious 
 and unhappy. The B. B. wondered whether 
 they might not be a kind of walking cheeses 
 themselves ; and, from the distress their expres- 
 sion and color betokened, he thought they must 
 have a gnawing at the heart — of mice. There 
 was more gibberish gone through with, but at 
 the magic word " Limburger ! " the cheeses 
 commenced dancing about at a fearful rate, and 
 the B. B. felt himself being carried around by 
 the one on which he had been sitting. While 
 going through a peculiar figure, which the B. B. 
 believed to be a kind of German (Pennsylvania), 
 his cheese gave a high jump and pitched him 
 out of the wagon ! 
 
 Clark awoke forthwith, and found he had 
 fallen out of bed and was flat on the floor. It 
 was broad daylight, and, looking out of his 
 window, he saw Vogel in the garden gazing 
 lovingly upon the growing cabbages. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 85 
 
 XIV. 
 
 CLARK'S new pantaloons proved to be en- 
 tirely satisfactory, and he again walked 
 forth, comfortable in mind and body. 
 
 His visit in Louisville was not a business 
 success. Vogel gave him a fair order, but fur- 
 ther than this Clark did nothing. There were 
 so many travellers in the city representing com- 
 peting houses, that Clark seemed to have no 
 chance. Probably he did not push himself for- 
 ward as much as he should have done. Then, 
 too, it seemed to him that being personally ac- 
 quainted helped a salesman greatly with South- 
 ern buyers — not that they would pay an 
 acquaintance or friend any more for goods than 
 they would a stranger, but, all else being equal, 
 the salesman whom they knew personally would 
 have the preference — but that is the case to a 
 greater or less extent everywhere. Whatever 
 the cause, Clark took his departure from Louis- 
 ville with only one order. 
 
86 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 At a station about midway between Louis- 
 ville and Indianapolis, a regular swarm of chil- 
 dren and babies came aboard the train. 
 
 Clark thought their ages might range from 
 four or five weeks old to three or four years. 
 
 "There has been a baby-show," thought 
 Clark. The whole company of little ones were 
 in charge of one man, a woman, and a girl. 
 The man had taken the seat next in front of the 
 one occupied by Clark, and Clark found himself 
 counting the little ones. There were two chil- 
 dren in the seat with the man, besides the two 
 babies held in his arms, which number was at 
 that moment further augmented by the woman 
 placing another baby in his lap, saying : " Here, 
 John, you must take care of this other trip." 
 
 " That makes five in charge of the man," 
 thought Clark. " Two tiny ones with the 
 woman is seven ; those two fighting for a seat 
 at the window is nine ; two little ones with the 
 girl is eleven. There are three others distrib- 
 uted around, crying because they can't be with 
 ' pop ' or ' mum,' as they call them — making 
 fourteen, and throwing in the girl there are fif- 
 teen ; but of course it can't be all one family, 
 for they are too near of an age." 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 87 
 
 While Clark was still wondering and conject- 
 uring, the woman cried out : , ' , , „ 
 "John, be careful of the trips, and don t fall 
 asleep and drop them ! " (> 
 « I '11 be careful, wife. Don't fret yourself, 
 and John gave the triplets a triple squeeze, and 
 laughed good-naturedly. _ _ 
 
 - Look out for the first twins. Victona will 
 catch cold if she falls asleep with the window 
 open. Better shut it, John." 
 
 Clark offered to close the window, and this 
 done the man asked : 
 
 " Are you acquainted in Ohio ? ' 
 ■■ I was never west of Buffalo until this 
 month," replied Clark. . 
 
 «We are moving to Ohio from Indiana. 1 
 have a brother in Ohio, a farmer like myself. 
 Have bought the farm adjoining his. We are a 
 pretty big family, as you can see, to travel 
 about much, but we could n't spare one of 
 them. Not one too many, are there, trips . 
 « Are they all here ? " asked Clark. 
 « Every one of them. Two sets of twins, 
 two of trips, and the rest are scattering. 
 This information was imparted with evident 
 
88 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 pride, and the wife nodded approvingly. " Thir- 
 teen is a good many !" said the man, after a 
 short pause ; " but they will all be taken care 
 of." 
 
 " Fifteen, you mean, John ! " said the wife, 
 reproachfully. 
 
 " To be sure ! I 'm always forgetting to 
 reckon in the last twins. Indiana is a good farm- 
 ing State, and I hated to break up there, but 
 I shall be glad to live near my brother ; he 
 and I are twins. Indiana is all right, and I 
 don't go back on it. I tell you they raise as 
 large crops down there as anywhere in the 
 world." 
 
 " I should never question that for an instant," 
 said Clark, as he looked around on the family 
 before him. John seemed very warm with 
 three little babies in his lap and a child on each 
 side of him. Suddenly he turned to Clark, and 
 said : 
 
 " If you will be so good as to hold two of 
 these trips while I take off my coat and go get 
 a glass of water, I '11 be much obliged to you. 
 It s hot here ! " 
 
 Clark's experience in baby-holding was very 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 89 
 
 limited. The last time he held one it seemed 
 to him as though it was going to drop to pieces, 
 it was so limber. What, then, could he do with 
 two? 
 
 "They won't cry, sir; they'll be good"; 
 and before Clark could find words to protest, 
 two triplets were handed to him, John retaining 
 the third. 
 
 " Bless me, John, he does n't know any thing 
 about babies. He don't even know how to 
 hold them ! " cried the alarmed mother, as she 
 saw Clark's clumsy endeavors to handle the 
 little ones. Poor Clark was warmer than John 
 had even been. He was relieved beyond what 
 pen or tongue can express when the experi- 
 enced father took the two trips. 
 
 " You are not used to babies ? " queried 
 John. 
 
 " No, sir ; not at all." 
 
 " None of your own, perhaps ? " 
 
 " None." 
 
 " Well, well, that 's a pity ! Wife not living ? " 
 
 " I was never married." 
 
 " Oh ! that 's it." 
 
 Clark saw numerous smiles. The whole car 
 
90 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 was smiling, in fact ; so he changed the subject, 
 asking : " Shall I get you a glass of water ? " 
 
 " Yes ; I '11 be much obliged to you. We 
 are all pretty well occupied, you see." 
 
 " Yes ; I see you are/' 
 
 Clark went for the water, and as he was re- 
 turning with some he said to John : 
 
 " Perhaps your wife would like a drink too." 
 
 " Thank you ; I would," said the woman. 
 She drank all the glass would hold, and then 
 Clark went back and brought some for the man. 
 After this all the children, who by word or sign 
 could make their wants known, asked for a drink, 
 and Clark saw he was again furnishing amuse- 
 ment for the other passengers as he went back 
 and forth in his new occupation of water-carrier. 
 At last he had gone the rounds and relieved 
 the thirst of all the twins, triplets, and scatter- 
 ings. 
 
 The train arrived at Indianapolis about mid- 
 night. Clark was feeling pretty tired, for his 
 rest had been broken continually since his de- 
 parture from New York. He was a strong ad- 
 vocate for every one having at least eight hours' 
 sleep out of the twenty- four, but had come to 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 9t 
 
 the conclusion that all good rules relating to 
 eating and sleeping could not be followed by a 
 commercial traveller. 
 
 He had undressed and was just going to put 
 the gas out when a baby in the next room com- 
 menced crying most vigorously. It was a 
 young baby's voice, but possessed of great 
 power. Soon there was tramping up and down 
 the room, and Clark could hear a man's voice 
 singing to the baby. The words of the song 
 could not be understood by Clark, and the mel- 
 ody was not a familiar one. Now and then this 
 fatherly voice ceased singing long enough to 
 speak to the mother, calling her attention to 
 the baby's charms. 
 
 If Clark had not been hungry he could have 
 slept, notwithstanding the disturbance in the 
 next room, for he was tired out. It was now 
 past one o'clock, and he had had only a light 
 six-o'clock supper. He became more and more 
 wakeful, and also grew tired of the song, the 
 same air having been kept up from the first 
 without any variation ; and although the baby 
 varied the monotony by frequent and long- 
 continued outbreaks, there was, nevertheless, a 
 
g2 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 eood deal of sameness to the concert. Clark 
 soon knew that this baby was the first for that 
 couple ; for did n't he hear both father and 
 mother declare, even while 't was yet madly 
 howling, that there never was such a sweet 
 little mite? 
 
 After the cry was ended the father seemed 
 to be having a kind of frolic with the infant, 
 and Clark heard the mother give the fond 
 father a mild scolding for making the baby 
 wakeful. 
 
 " This is n't becoming rested for the work of 
 the morrow," thought Clark. Then he fell back 
 on his bad habit of rhyming, with the following 
 result : 
 
 OUR FIRST BABY. 
 
 And now we have a baby 
 
 With little hands and feet, 
 And dimples, too. Ah, may be 
 
 You think she is n't sweet ! 
 
 Some babies make wry faces 
 
 And gape most impolite, 
 These are but lovely graces 
 
 With our dear little mite ! 
 
 She makes tremendous music 
 
 For such a little mouse ; 
 Could any one abuse it 
 
 For waking up the house ? 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 93 
 
 For babies cry at midnight, 
 
 Or in the early morn ; 
 Are hungry or don't feel right 
 
 E'en on the day they 're born. 
 
 They thus make known their ailing, 
 
 Their pains must be allayed ; 
 Instead of crossly railing, 
 
 They give a serenade. 
 
 So sing, my little lady, 
 
 And let your wants be known; 
 Whate'er the hour, my baby, 
 
 We '11 heed your winsome tone. 
 
 And when at night she calleth, 
 
 We '11 rise, in white arrayed, 
 To march with her who bawleth — 
 
 A strict undress parade ! 
 
 But when the wretched colic 
 
 Has been induced to flee, 
 'T is then we have our frolic 
 
 With little ba-bi-e. 
 
 Still, even after this, Clark felt no drowsiness 
 come over him. He was too hungry to sleep. 
 His watch told him it was now half-past two. 
 
 " I certainly can't sleep until I eat something. 
 A few crackers would be better than nothing," 
 thought Clark. In answer to his bell-call a boy 
 came, and Clark gave' him half a dollar, telling 
 him to bring up some lunch if it was possible to 
 
 procure any at that hour of the night. In the 
 
 7 
 
94 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 course of half an hour the boy returned bearing 
 a tray on which were bread, butter, cold roast 
 beef, and a glass of milk. 
 
 After this lunch Clark soon fell asleep, though 
 the baby had had another spell, and the same 
 crying, singing, and tramping were going on 
 again. 
 
 Clark dreamed he was attending a baby-show 
 and saw on exhibition four little baby sisters, all 
 of the same age, and all crying at the same 
 moment. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 95 
 
 XV. 
 
 ALTHOUGH Clark had had a poor night's 
 rest he was up as usual the following 
 morning, and by nine o'clock went forth to call 
 upon the Indianapolis buyers. 
 
 The commercial travellers whom he had met 
 in Louisville had moved almost in a body to 
 Indianapolis, and he called upon three firms in 
 succession, only to find certain travellers had 
 stolen a march upon him — having already en- 
 gaged the attention of the buyers. Where he 
 next called the buyer was occupied in reading 
 the morning's mail. Clark introduced himself 
 and said : 
 
 " I suppose you will be busy for a while with 
 your mail ? " 
 
 " Yes, I am late to-day, — but I shall soon be 
 at liberty, and I 'm glad to see you. Take a chair 
 and make yourself at home." 
 
 Clark accepted the invitation to be seated, 
 and occupied himself in reading the newspaper. 
 
g6 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 In the course of half an hour the buyer was 
 ready to look at Clark's samples of keels, and 
 Clark had just begun quoting prices when 
 another salesman came in. 
 
 " I beg your pardon, Mr. Clark, but I had 
 forgotten that I had an en^a^ement at this hour 
 with this gentleman. Can you call about 
 eleven ? " 
 
 " Certainly," said Clark. 
 
 He once aofain went the rounds of the other 
 stores, and found the buyers engaged as before 
 with other travellers. 
 
 He called to keep his eleven o'clock engage- 
 ment, but the buyer was not in the office. A 
 clerk informed Clark that the person wanted 
 was at present engaged in selling a bill of goods 
 but would soon be at liberty — so Clark waited 
 until nearly noon, when the buyer appeared and 
 said : 
 
 " Now, Mr. Clark, we can talk business. It 
 is a shame to have kept you so long, but I had 
 a customer." 
 
 Clark again displayed his samples, and was 
 rehearsing, what to him had become during the 
 past week a kind of stereotyped speech about 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 97 
 
 " quality" and other favorable points concerning 
 his keels, when another batch of letters came in. 
 
 " Will you excuse me if I just glance over 
 these letters ? " 
 
 Clark of course assented, and there was a 
 further delay of half an hour. 
 
 Another opportunity came to Clark to repeat 
 his little speech about "quality," etc., when a 
 clerk came to tell the buyer there was a lady 
 at the door in a carriage waiting to see him. 
 
 " I will not be away over five minutes," said 
 the buyer. It was fully a quarter of an hour 
 before Clark again had the chance to speak his 
 little piece about quality, etc., — but he had only 
 recited a part of it before the buyer said : " I 
 am sorry to interrupt you again, but it is my 
 dinner hour. I would be glad to have you dine 
 with me." 
 
 As the invitation was evidently given with 
 the wish that it should be accepted, Clark 
 accompanied the buyer home and had a very 
 good dinner. The buyer was very agreeable 
 company, too, and his wife equally so. 
 
 Clark and the buyer returned to the store and 
 renewed their discussion over prices, quality, 
 
98 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 etc., but there were still so many interruptions 
 that Clark did not take his order until after 
 four o'clock, and then it was for a very moderate 
 quantity of goods. 
 
 He did not succeed in doing any thing else- 
 where, for the different buyers still remained 
 occupied with certain travellers. 
 
 "I really ought to remain in Indianapolis 
 another day — but I want to have my trip over 
 as soon as possible. Besides, there are so 
 many competitors here I think I may as well 
 resign. It reminds me of one day when I went 
 fishing for trout in a small brook where the fish 
 were scarce, but I found anglers without number 
 ahead of me." 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 99 
 
 XVI. 
 
 CLARK returned to the hotel about six 
 o'clock with the intention of packing, 
 and going to Terre Haute in the evening. On 
 the way to his room, and when passing the 
 parlor, he was surprised to see an old friend 
 whom he had not met for years. 
 
 " Why, Fred Clark ! " 
 
 " Tom Park ! " 
 
 Never were two friends more glad to meet 
 each other. 
 
 Tom Park was an Episcopal clergyman. He 
 was of the same age as Clark, and they had 
 been to school together, and afterward to col- 
 lege, graduating in the same class. Tom Park, 
 who had married since Clark had seen him, now 
 introduced his wife, also his sister, a young lady 
 of twenty. Tom had recently resigned his par- 
 ish in Kentucky and accepted a call to another 
 in New York State. They were now on their 
 way to Chicago, where they expected to spend 
 
100 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 a few days before their departure East. They 
 would be in Indianapolis until the following 
 evening. 
 
 Tom said to Clark : " We are going from 
 Chicago to Buffalo by steamer around the Lakes. 
 Why can't you make the trip with us ? " 
 
 Clark explained the situation, how that he 
 was on a business trip, and must do his best to 
 complete it as soon as possible, and so return 
 to his regular duties at the office. 
 
 Clark and the Parks had separated to prepare 
 for supper, and Clark was in his room thinking 
 how good it seemed to meet an old, tried friend 
 in a strange land. He took up his violin and 
 had played a few moments when he heard a 
 piano. Some one was playing one of Beetho- 
 ven's sonatas most beautifully. Clark's violin 
 became silent at once. He opened his door so 
 that he might hear the pianist better. " I never 
 heard any one play with so much feeling. It is 
 beautiful," said Clark to himself as he stepped 
 out into the hall. Then, almost unconsciously, 
 and still holding his violin and bow, he walked 
 on until near the door of the room wherein was 
 the cause of his enchantment. There he stood, 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 101 
 
 when, without warning, the door flew open and 
 he was confronted by Tom Park, who said : 
 « You here, Fred ? I was just going to call you 
 for supper." Then, as Clark did not move, 
 Tom added : " Are you asleep ? ' 
 
 «« Oh," said Clark, apparently just coming to 
 himself, " I was listening to that music." 
 
 « We are in luck," said Tom. " The land- 
 lord's family, who are now East, usually occupy 
 these rooms, and we have been invited to make 
 ourselves at home and use the piano. ft is a 
 * new instrument, and my sister is happy. 
 
 As they entered the room Clara Park was 
 rising from the piano, but upon Clark's invita- 
 tation she resumed her playing. _ 
 
 Tom soon interrupted the music with " Beg 
 your pardon, Fred. You have brought your 
 wife, I see. Mrs. Clark, let me introduce you 
 to my wife and sister." Tom had taken the 
 violin from Clark, and was now holding it to- 
 ward the ladies, who bowed and expressed 
 gratification at meeting one of whom they had 
 
 often heard. 
 
 « I would like very much to hear your wife 
 Probably, like most singers, she would 
 
 sing. 
 
102 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 prefer to use her voice now rather than right 
 after supper," said Clara Park. 
 
 * " Tom has told me about a little song you 
 play especially for your children. Could n't you 
 play it now ? " said Mrs. Park. 
 
 Clark played the hymn for the first time since 
 he had stood before the picture on the day of 
 his departure from New York. Again the 
 little child's voice came from the violin, and the 
 other little voices joined in: When he had fin- 
 ished, Clark saw a tear trickling down Clara 
 Park's cheek, and he thought : 
 
 " That is the highest compliment my chil- 
 dren's voices ever had." 
 
 Clark decided to remain in Indianapolis until 
 noon the following day. 
 
 " I shall still arrive at Terre Haute in plenty 
 of time to attend to business, and leave for St. 
 Louis to-morrow night. Tom is a good fellow, 
 and it would seem heathenish to go away to- 
 nio-ht, when we have not seen each other before 
 for so long. I shall lose no time. Tom is a 
 eood fellow. We can talk over old times." 
 These were Clark's thoughts as he went to bed. 
 
 The first thin^ Clark did the following morn- 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 103 
 
 ino- after dressing was to pack his trunk and 
 
 valise. , 
 
 .« Now I shall have nothing to do before 
 train-time but visit with Tom and talk oyer old 
 times. Tom is such a good, whole-souled fel- 
 low ! " , 
 After breakfast there was more piano and 
 violin music than was consistent with Clark's 
 desire to talk over old times with Tom, and 
 Clark changed his mind about taking the noon 
 train for Terre Haute. 
 
 « 1 11 stay to-day," he said to himself. What 
 is the loss of one day ? I have not seen Tom 
 before for years. Tom is a royal good fellow. 
 It seems unfriendly to even think of leaving him 
 in such haste. I '11 remain here until to-night 
 
 So he stayed, parting with the Parks ate 
 that night, and feeling sorry business compelled 
 him to go even then. _ 
 
 When he was on the cars, bound for Terre 
 Haute, it occurred to him that he had not had 
 much conversation with Tom, nor talked over 
 old times, after all. He felt a trifle guilty when 
 be thought of this, but wound up with : 
 ' "Tom is a good fellow. I hope we shall meet 
 again soon. We can then talk over old times. 
 
104 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 XVII. 
 
 CLARK arrived at Terre Haute at about 
 midnight. He was no sooner in bed 
 than the mosquitoes attacked him. There was 
 no netting over the bed, and for a while, not- 
 withstanding he slapped right and left, the pests 
 had a very good time. Finally, Clark rang the 
 bell. The clerk answered it in person. 
 
 " Have n't you any mosquito-netting for the 
 protection of your guests ? " asked Clark. 
 
 " Yes, I can find you a piece ; but this is the 
 first complaint we have had about mosquitoes in 
 this hotel." 
 
 " I suppose so ! But at the other hotel, a 
 block away, the mosquitoes are terrible, and fly 
 away with the guests' baggage," said Clark, 
 who was in a sarcastic mood, and very sleepy, 
 too. 
 
 The netting was brought, but proved to be 
 too small to cover the bed, and Clark experi- 
 mented with the material some time without 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 105 
 
 making a success of it. He was even inclined 
 to believe the mosquitoes were laughing at his 
 efforts At last he deserted the bed and ar- 
 ranged the netting over a high-back lounge 
 pretty successfully. Now, Clark soon discov- 
 ered that a five-foot sofa did not make a com- 
 fortable bed for a person six feet long He 
 arose, placed a chair at the foot of the sofa, and 
 
 tried it again. 
 
 -That is n't bad! "he thought. 
 
 But the mosquitoes seemed determined upon 
 living Clark no rest ; and although they did 
 not get at him for a while, yet the netting was 
 so low they could fly close to his head and sing 
 He had never before heard such loud mosqu to 
 voices. Had they sung in good tune and to- 
 gether, it would have been very sweet ; but 
 £ t was all discord. He could not recog- 
 nize any particular air, though he was quite 
 positive one old fellow was trying to sing that 
 familiar strain : 
 
 We 're going to hum till morning, 
 
 We 're going to hum till morning, 
 
 We 're going to hum till morning, 
 
 Till daylight doth appear 1 " 
 
106 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 Suddenly Clark felt a bite ! Yes ! one scoun- 
 drel had found a hole in the netting, come in, 
 and drawn blood. As Clark's slap hurt only 
 himself and did not touch the too-lively mos- 
 quito, he arose, lighted the gas, and drove the 
 villain out. Then he again arranged the net- 
 ting, crawled under, and thought rather sadly : 
 
 " Who comes to me when I 'm in bed, 
 And buzzes 'round my tired head, 
 And never stops till blood is shed ? 
 Mosquito ! 
 
 " Who, when I think my net is tight, 
 Creeps in a little hole at night, 
 And welcomes me with sting and bite ? 
 Mosquito ! " 
 
 He fell asleep finally, thinking of the Parks 
 and the pleasant time he had in their company. 
 But he did not sleep long, for a dog's loud 
 barking in the yard, under the window, soon 
 awakened him. Another dog answered dog 
 number one ; number three joined in, and an- 
 other, and another, and still another added 
 their several barks, until it seemed as though 
 the whole population of canines had awoke to 
 give the full moon a grand serenade. Clark 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 107 
 
 heard a clock strike two, and afterward, at the 
 end of what seemed a very long hour, three, 
 and then the dog in the yard concluded to set 
 the others a good example and go to bed. 
 Clark, too, dropped off, his last thoughts being : 
 « I shall not be obliged to rise early, for there 
 are only two houses to call on here, and I don't 
 leave for St. Louis till night." 
 
 Poor Clark ! At five o'clock he was wide 
 awake again. The cause— the running of one 
 of the noisiest of sewing-machines in the room 
 directly overhead. Becoming accustomed to 
 this, he was again losing himself when a piano 
 struck up in the room across the hall. Some- 
 body not at all advanced in music was practis- 
 ing the scales very slowly but with much power ! 
 « I declare ! This is a scaly place for sleep- 
 ing," thought Clark, as he arose. It was half- 
 past six. By seven he had dressed, and was 
 improvising upon his violin when a loud knock 
 on the door connecting his room with the next 
 startled him. A man's voice called out gruffly : 
 " I say, mister, just give us a rest with that 
 old fiddle. I did n't get to bed till late, and 
 want to sleep. Or, if you must scrape the mis- 
 
108 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 erable old thing, 'spose you let up on the tune 
 the old cow died on and give us a jig or some- 
 thing lively." 
 
 Clark put his violin aside without a word, but 
 he mused : 
 
 " To think that, after being kept awake nearly 
 all night, some one should object to my violin 
 at seven in the morning ! " 
 
 He had breakfast, and called early upon the 
 only two jobbers in his line of goods. The 
 buying partner of one of these firms was East, 
 and would not be at home for several weeks. 
 The buyer for the other house was also absent, 
 but was expected that noon ; so Clark had four 
 hours before him to spend as best he could. 
 He went wandering about the city until he 
 stumbled on the Wabash River. 
 
 " Why, what an idiot I am ! Here is a river, 
 and I have wasted at least half an hour which 
 might have been passed in fishing," he thought. 
 
 " Are there any fish worth catching in this 
 stream? " he inquired of a man who was repair- 
 ing a boat. 
 
 " Millions of them ! Lots of black-bass. Can 
 catch a boat-load in an hour or two." 
 
. WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. IO9 
 
 " Where can I hire a boat ? " 
 
 " I 'm your man for that." 
 
 " Have you bait and fishing tackle ? " 
 
 " Yes, plenty." 
 
 Clark was soon fishing. The man had told 
 him a reasonable kind of a lie, considering fish 
 was the subject, for on that topic no one is ever 
 suspected of telling the exact truth. There were 
 not boat-loads of bass to be taken, and they did 'nt 
 come about the boat crying to be caught, but in 
 the course of time Clark had a bite, and pulled 
 in a small sun-fish. The next bite was different, 
 and Clark landed a four-pound bass. 
 
 " I would rather take a fish like this than any 
 order for goods ever given ! " exclaimed the 
 enthusiastic fisherman, 
 
 He soon forgot all about business, and fished 
 until his bait gave out, and then for the first time 
 looked at his watch. 
 
 " Three o'clock ! Whew ! I have been at it 
 six hours." 
 
 He had a good string of bass, and the owner 
 of the boat was evidently surprised when Clark 
 returned with them. 
 
 " You don't mean to tell me you caught all 
 those yourself ? " 
 
110 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " Of course, I did. There lack a few of being 
 a boat-load, but I am very well satisfied." 
 
 These fish Clark presented to the proprietor 
 of the hotel, with the request that they be cooked 
 for supper. He then ate a cold dinner and hur- 
 ried off to see the buyer who had been expected 
 back at noon. This individual had not returned, 
 but had telegraphed he should be detained two 
 or three days longer. 
 
 " The express for St. Louis does not leave 
 until after midnight. I '11 have an hour or two 
 more bassing," thought Clark. 
 
 He fished faithfully and with fair success until 
 the sun went down, when the bass ceased 
 biting. Then he gave it up and departed for 
 St. Louis very much pleased with his visit to 
 Terre Haute. In fact, he considered it had 
 been by far the most successful day of his trip. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. Ill 
 
 XVIII. 
 
 HE had a lower berth on the sleeping-car, 
 and commenced well enough, soon fall- 
 ing asleep ; but he awoke before long, and 
 heard loud talking outside the car. The train 
 had come to a standstill, and Clark soon gathered 
 that there was a freight train off the track right 
 ahead, which had blocked the road. 
 
 One voice said : 
 
 " There will be several hours' delay, and 
 perhaps we shall be here all night. Let 's get 
 a berth." 
 
 " All right ! So say I." 
 
 Two men now came into the car and asked 
 the porter for sleeping accommodations — " A 
 place to roost," they said. 
 
 They were bound for a point at which the 
 train was due at three in the morning, and so 
 had not taken a berth at the start, but now 
 that there was a prospect of being out all night, 
 they wanted " a place to roost." 
 
112 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 All the lower berths were taken, and the two 
 men comprising the roosting party were given 
 the berth over Clark. 
 
 They had clubbed together, and were to 
 make this one berth do for their two large, 
 heavy bodies. Clark felt uncomfortable about 
 having those two big men over. him. It seemed 
 very probable the fastenings sustaining the up- 
 per berth might give way under such weight," 
 and occupants and all be precipitated upon 
 him. After the two had climbed up things did 
 creak fearfully, and Clark's hands were raised 
 to ward off the anticipated fall. No such catas- 
 trophe came to pass, however. But Clark could 
 not sleep, for whenever the men above him 
 turned over or moved, there was a groaning 
 and a creaking unpleasant to Clark's ears. Soon 
 the two men began quarrelling about room. 
 
 " Keep on your own side." 
 
 " I am." 
 
 " No, you ain't. You 've more than your 
 share." 
 
 "I have n't! " 
 
 " You have ! " 
 
 " You 're another! " 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 13 
 
 " Look here ! If it was n't for making a row 
 I 'd just pitch you out of this bunk ! " 
 
 " Try it, if you think best." 
 
 Here the porter came and told them they 
 would have to keep quiet; that they would dis- 
 turb the passengers. 
 
 After this they quarrelled in lower tones, but 
 Clark heard all they said, and several times 
 thought there was really going to be a fight. 
 
 The car became warmer the longer it stood 
 still, and as Clark could not sleep, he decided 
 to dress and go out for some fresh air. 
 
 He walked to the scene of the wreck, and 
 there saw the engine on its side and a number 
 of freight cars badly broken up. He learned 
 there was no one injured, though there had been 
 several narrow escapes. 
 
 The engineer and fireman had saved them- 
 selves by jumping before the engine had turned 
 over. Clark stood viewing the wreck, when he 
 heard a bell ring. 
 
 " I verily believe my train is backing ! " said 
 Clark to himself. He was hurrying back to his 
 car when one of the workmen said : 
 
 " You can't catch it. They are going to 
 Terre Haute, where they will breakfast." 
 
114 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " How far is it to Terre Haute ? " 
 
 " Four miles or thereabouts." 
 
 Four miles was not much of a walk for 
 Clark under ordinary circumstances, but it was 
 a gloomy kind of a night, and dense woods 
 lined each side of the track. There was a high 
 wind, too, with an occasional drop of rain. A 
 hand-car stood on the track, and Clark said to 
 one of the men : 
 
 " I '11 pay you five dollars if you will take me 
 back to the train." 
 
 " Can't do it unless the boss says so." 
 
 " Where is he ? " 
 
 " That's him," pointing to a tall man. 
 
 Clark approached the boss and said : " I be- 
 long on the sleeping-car bound for St. Louis, 
 and "— 
 
 " Why didn't you stay there? You don't 
 do any good here — that 's a sure case." 
 
 " Well, I am here, having left the car think- 
 ing the train would stay here till the track was 
 cleared ; and I would like to get back." 
 
 " Easy enough. You 've got legs ! " And 
 the men laughed. 
 
 " Can't you let one of these men take me 
 back in this hand-car ? " 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 1 $ 
 
 " Not much ! Plenty of work here. Can 
 give you a job, too, if you want one." 
 
 It now began raining quite heavily, and Clark 
 was muttering : " What a scrape ! " He stood 
 under the lee of one of the freight cars to keep 
 out of the wet, but the water began dripping off 
 on him, so he moved his head-quarters to a 
 tree, under which he stood for half an hour 
 or longer, still muttering " What a scrape ! " 
 
 Soon there was a lull in the rain, and he 
 started to walk to Terre Haute. Striking- a 
 match, he found it was three o'clock. To add 
 to his other discomforts, he was very hungry. 
 He walked rapidly, and was well on his jour- 
 ney, when the rain set in again harder than 
 before. Seeing a dim light near by, he ran 
 toward it, coming abruptly against a barbed 
 wire-fence, which astonished him a good deal, 
 and pricked him too, but his clothes were not 
 torn. 
 
 He felt his way now until he found an open- 
 ing, and then came to a log-house wherein a 
 candle was burning. He knocked. 
 
 " Who 's there ? " asked a mans voice. 
 
 " A gentleman." 
 
u6 
 
 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " Nice time of night for a gentleman to be 
 prowling about. Bet you 're a tramp." 
 
 Clark explained how it was he happened to 
 be there. 
 
 "All right! I '11 let you in. You talk like 
 an honest man ; but if you try to go back on me 
 'twill be the worse for you, and don't you forget 
 it!" 
 
 The man opened the door and Clark entered. 
 
 " Do you want a place to stretch yourself? " 
 
 " No, I thank you. I will not lie down, for 
 as soon as the rain ceases I mean to walk back 
 to the train. I think it will clear up soon, for I 
 had a glimpse of the moon a minute ago." 
 
 " No need of going back to Terre Haute. 
 When they have cleared the track your train 
 will come along. My son is a railroad man, 
 and I '11 have him flag it to make a sure thing 
 of it. It is a long three miles to Terre Haute. 
 Lie down and make yourself comfortable. Ex- 
 cuse my taking you for a tramp." 
 
 " Oh, that is all right. I feel like one. Could 
 you give me some bread ? I am very hungry." 
 
 " Can give you bread, butter, and sausage." 
 
 " Thank you. Bread and butter will be suf- 
 ficient." 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 117 
 
 This repast tasted very well, and after it he 
 lay down and slept till seven o'clock, at which 
 hour his host aroused him and said the track 
 was clear, and that the train would soon come 
 along. Clark paid for his bread and butter and 
 lodging — for which the man would take only 
 twenty- five cents, — and was glad when he was 
 once more on the Pullman sleeping-car. It was 
 past noon that Sunday when the train arrived 
 at St. Louis. As Clark had had nothing but 
 bread and butter since supper the day before, 
 he was almost famished ; so before going to the 
 hotel he had dinner at the Union Depot dining- 
 hall. He had telegraphed for a room, but not 
 having put in an appearance with the rest of the 
 belated travellers the clerk had given the room 
 set apart for him to another person, and Clark 
 was forced to take a small room on the top floor, 
 the hotel being very full. 
 
 Clark had his trunk sent up, and was once 
 again playing on his violin. But he was not as 
 well satisfied with its tone as he usually was. 
 
 " You are not in as good voice as you were 
 in Indianapolis. I suppose you miss your piano 
 accompaniment. So do I. Tom is a good 
 fellow." 
 
1 18 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 XIX. 
 
 AT the hotel Clark had found a letter from 
 Morgan headed " Aboard the Fketwing" 
 It made him homesick. 
 
 Morgan had written that he felt as well as 
 ever, and was having a glorious time. 
 
 In the evening Clark went to church. As he 
 was walking down the middle aisle, after the 
 close of the service, he saw on the other side of 
 the church a person whom he recognized. 
 
 There s Ed Hartley large as life, and con- 
 siderably larger," thought Clark. 
 
 Yes, there was no mistaking Ed, though Clark 
 had not seen him for ten years. 
 
 Ed had grown stout or been blown up — that 
 was all the change in him. 
 
 Clark would have known his old friend any- 
 where, by the twinkle of Ed's eyes. 
 
 They seemed to have the power of seeing into 
 every thing, and through any thing — and yet 
 they were not sharp nor staring ; but bright, 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 19 
 
 playful, eyes with a never-failing twinkle. ^ Clark, 
 the poet, never saw them without thinking : 
 
 " Twinkle, twinkle, little eye, 
 How I wonder what you spy, 
 All around, in every nook, 
 
 Shining with a playful look 1 " 
 
 The two friends met in the vestibule. 
 
 " Why, you old reprobate ! " 
 
 That was the very churchly greeting Clark 
 received, and which, perhaps, shocked some of 
 the more staid members of the departing congre- 
 gation. 
 
 " Fred, this is my wife." 
 
 » Where 's yours ? " he asked, scarcely giving 
 Clark a chance to pay his respects to Mrs. 
 
 Hartley. 
 
 "I have none," replied Clark. 
 
 « lust what I was afraid of. But I know a 
 widow who will just suit you. You are too old 
 to think of marrying any thing different. Come 
 along home with me and we 11 compare notes 
 for the past ten years, and see who has had the 
 most fun. We live three miles away, and you 
 must stay all night. I U lend you every thing 
 you need, except a tooth brush ! 
 
120 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 They drove out, and Clark found his friend 
 pleasantly situated in a very homelike, roomy, 
 house. Ed Hartley was one of St. Louis' rising 
 young lawyers — not that he was fond of rising 
 early in the morning ; far from it. 
 
 " There are two little cherubs asleep up-stairs," 
 said Ed. " Ah ! Fred, you bachelors don't half 
 live, after all. But, by the by, I started to tell you 
 about that widow. To begin with, she has five 
 children. Now, when a man puts off the great 
 event until he is as advanced in years as you 
 are, there is nothing like marrying a widow with 
 perquisites in the shape of a lot of children. It 
 places him on an equal footing with those of us 
 who have been for some time family-men. Still, 
 you were always a rather conscientious fellow at 
 school, and I shall be shocked if, after marrying 
 the widow, you try to pass yourself off for a 
 genuine, simon-pure family-man. Credit to 
 whom credit is due ! By all means have a 
 portrait, life-size, of the widow's late husband 
 hung up in the parlor. Have it labelled : 'The 
 Husband of my Youth.' " 
 
 Of all talkers and teasers ever born, Ed 
 Hartley was at the head. Mrs. Hartley was of 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 121 
 
 a decidedly retiring disposition ; but, as Ed 
 was so much the reverse, the couple made a 
 good average. After Ed had run the widow- 
 subject in the ground and they were all seated 
 in the cosy study, Clark asked : 
 
 " Whom do you think I met in Indianapolis ? " 
 
 " Give it up." 
 
 " Tom Park." 
 
 " Tom Park ? Bless him ! Has he settled 
 there ? " 
 
 " No ; he resigned his parish somewhere in 
 Kentucky, and is now on his way to another in 
 New York State. He is to be in Chicago a 
 few days, and then he goes East around the 
 Lakes by steamer. Tom is a good fellow." 
 
 " Was he alone ? or is he married ? " 
 
 " His wife and sister were with him." 
 
 " Ah ! Now you 've hit it! " said Ed ; " it 
 is the sister we want to hear about." 
 
 Now, it is no disgrace for a man of thirty-five, 
 or even twice thirty-five, to blush ; and so we 
 record it here that Clark blushed then and 
 there. 
 
 " I thought so ! " said those dancing eyes 
 which seemed to go all through Clark. He 
 
122 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 felt very much as a timid witness might who 
 was about to be cross-examined. 
 
 " Is she pretty ? " asked Ed. 
 
 " She is handsome." 
 
 " Ah ! I thought so," again seemed to say 
 those eyes, and Clark knew he was blushing 
 again. 
 
 " How old is she? " 
 
 " Twenty." 
 
 " Is she accomplished and bright ? " 
 
 " Decidedly." 
 
 " You are thirty-four or five, are you not ? " 
 
 " Thirty-five." 
 
 " Twenty from thirty-five leaves how much ? " 
 
 " Fifteen." 
 
 " Right ! You are a lightning calculator ! 
 Now, fifteen is about the right difference under 
 the circumstances. A man of twenty-five would 
 hardly be justified in marrying a girl often, but 
 twenty and thirty-five is n't bad ! " 
 
 Ed ran on in this strain some time, but at 
 last changed the subject and talked over old 
 times. Mrs. Hartley made an attentive audi- 
 ence, and took much interest in the experiences 
 and scrapes of the two school-boys. It was 
 past eleven before they thought of bed. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 23 
 
 " Don't worry if we don't call you early," 
 said Ed, " for the truth is we have been going 
 through the servant ordeal lately. Our tenth 
 within six months came highly recommended, 
 and has just departed, carrying away enough 
 spoons to start a store. Like several other 
 girls who left us suddenly, she said her mother 
 was sick ! We don't know where her mother 
 lives. Probably the spoons were needed for 
 giving medicine ! We have been running this 
 ranche ourselves for a few days — also the range, 
 which is the most obstinate thing I ever had to 
 cross-examine. Sometimes we have breakfast 
 at nine, oftener at ten ; but tc-morrow I '11 get 
 up early — say eight o'clock— and stir up the 
 range, etc., so that you can have an early break- 
 fast, as you are here on business." 
 
 Clark was in one of his wakeful moods. Ac- 
 cording to all good usage, he should have been 
 ' sleepy after such a night as the previous one ; 
 but he was n't. " Tom is a good fellow," he 
 thought. " Now, if I had gone to Chicago with 
 him, done my business there, and come back 
 here, it would have given me some pleasant 
 hours with him. Tom is a good fellow, for a 
 fact." 
 
124 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 Then Clark tried to think of other things, but 
 failed to concentrate his thoughts upon any 
 thing not connected with Tom. 
 
 " It would be an easy matter to go to Chicago 
 to-morrow night and come back here a few days 
 hence. Tom is a good fellow. Chicago is a 
 very important place. The sooner I go there 
 and look after the interests of our house, the 
 better. I '11 leave St. Louis to-morrow mVht 
 
 o 
 
 and come back after finishing Chicago." 
 
 There was something in this resolution which 
 seemed to give Clark peace, for he fell asleep 
 and did not awake until Ed knocked at his 
 door. 
 
 " It is nine o'clock. Breakfast in half an 
 hour. How did you sleep ? " 
 
 " Very well indeed, after I got at it." 
 
 " Did the babies disturb you? " 
 
 " No ; I did n't hear them." 
 
 " Then you must have slept ! I have the two 
 noisiest infants ever born. One is a boy, the 
 other a girl ; so we have named them the hub- 
 bub and the crisis. Of whom did you dream 
 last night — the widow or Tom's sister ? " 
 
 " Neither." 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 125 
 
 At breakfast the Hartleys proposed sending 
 to the hotel for Clark's baggage, supposing he 
 would be in the city several days ; they were 
 therefore surprised when he told them he was 
 to leave for Chicago that evening. 
 
 " You surely can't transact your business in 
 St. Louis in one day ? " queried Ed. 
 
 " No ; but I intend returning here after 
 finishing" Chicago." 
 
 " Is n't that a little out-of-the-way manner of 
 doing things ? I don't pretend to be a business 
 man, and I know Tom is a good fellow ! but 
 is n't it just a little out of the usual course, so to 
 speak, as it were, in a manner, as aforesaid ? " 
 
 Ed's eyes were dancing again, and Clark was 
 blushing, but Mrs. Hartley considerately changed 
 the subject and looked hard at Ed. Clark was 
 spared until the time came for saying good- 
 bye ; then Ed said : 
 
 " Tom is a good fellow, Clark. Remember 
 me to him to-morrow. When you return to St. 
 Louis this week come right here, bag and bag- 
 gage. Did I understand you to say Tom was 
 going around the Lakes by steamer from Chi- 
 cago r 
 
126 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " Of course you will not make the Lake trip 
 with him ? " 
 
 " Certainly not. I have not the time. Busi- 
 ness is business." 
 
 " And you are really coming back here in a 
 few days ? " 
 
 " Most assuredly." 
 
 " What do you want to bet on it ? " 
 
 " Why, if I was in the habit of betting, I'd 
 wager any thing. I must come back to attend 
 to my business here." 
 
 " Of course you must ! But Tom is a good 
 fellow ! Good-bye, Fred." 
 
 " What a queer chap Ed is," thought Clark. 
 " He must torment even a judge in court half 
 to death sometimes. I don't see any thing 
 strange in my running on to Chicago to see 
 Tom. He will probably start on his journey 
 around the Lakes by Thursday. I shall have a 
 pleasant visit with him, staying at the same 
 hotel ; then I can return to St. Louis, and finish 
 here. Of course I shall, while in Chicago, 
 attend to business during the day, and be with 
 Tom evenings. As the journey to and from 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 27 
 
 Chicago will be made at night I don't see that 
 I shall lose any time at all. We have a good 
 run of customers in Chicago, and the sooner. I 
 look after them the better. Tom is a eood fel- 
 low." 
 
 That Clark did not quite succeed in satisfying 
 himself that leaving St. Louis was exactly busi- 
 ness-like was evident from the fact that he re- 
 peated the arguments in favor of his doing so 
 over and over again, during the day. Indeed, 
 he spent more time in arguing to satisfy his 
 mind, than he did talking up his goods to the 
 buyers ; and he made no sales. He saw nearly 
 all the leading firms, however, and told them he 
 was going to Chicago that night, but would re- 
 turn to St. Louis within a few days. As he 
 stepped aboard the train he thought: " Tom 
 is a ^ood fellow. We '11 talk over old times. 
 Chicago is an important place. I am glad I de- 
 cided to go there without delay to look after 
 our trade. Tom is a good fellow." 
 
128 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 XX. 
 
 CLARK arrived in Chicago about eight 
 o'clock the following morning. He had 
 not slept well. After going to the hotel at 
 which the Parks were staying he took a room, 
 made himself presentable, and then sent up his 
 card to Tom. The Parks were just on the 
 point of going to breakfast when the card was 
 brought in, and a look of surprise came over 
 the face of each of them. 
 
 The Parks and Clark had breakfast together, 
 and soon afterward Clark said to Tom : " Now 
 I must go to work. We shall have all the 
 evening together, and can then talk over old 
 times. I wish I was a ' gentleman of leisure,' 
 but unfortunately I am a commercial traveller 
 for the time being, and must stick to my text — 
 which I hope you always do. What a day this 
 would be for a sail on the lake. But business 
 says * stay ashore and be a landlubber.' Tom, 
 has living inland for five years made you lose 
 your love for the water and yachting ? " 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 29 
 
 " Not by a long shot. I made up my mind 
 to never again accept a call to any parish which 
 was located away from the sea. To begin with, 
 I always found I could write better sermons in 
 a boat or in sight of the ocean than anywhere 
 else." 
 
 " I wish Tom would take a floating chapel ; 
 it would just suit him," said Mrs. Park. 
 
 " Oh, it would n't do at all," said Clara Park, 
 " for he would soon have a mast and sail rigged 
 up instead of a spire, and be cruising around 
 while service was going on." 
 
 Boating now became the topic in earnest, and 
 Clark found he was in the company of very en- 
 thusiastic sailors. 
 
 " Why should n't we have a sail this morning 
 on Lake Michigan ? " asked Clark, forgetting 
 about business entirely. All favored the plan 
 strongly, and by ten o'clock they were at the 
 lake-front inspecting boats. There were nu- 
 merous small sailing craft for hire, none of which 
 were very pleasing, however. Clark now caught 
 sight of a sloop-rigged yacht anchored off from 
 shore a short distance. It was a trim little ves- 
 sel with long spars, and looked as though she 
 might be a good sailer. 
 
130 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " Who is the owner of that yacht ? " asked 
 Clark of a man who was fishing successfully for 
 perch. 
 
 " Captain Hicks ; he is aboard now." 
 
 " Does he let her ? " 
 
 " He takes out parties." 
 
 Tom remained with the ladies while Clark 
 looked up a row-boat and rowed off to the yacht 
 to interview Captain Hicks. The captain told 
 Clark he never let the Wanderer go unless he 
 went himself, and he could n't go that day. 
 
 " We can manage her all right, and I will be 
 responsible for any damage done," said Clark. 
 
 " But you are a stranger to me," replied the 
 captain, smiling. 
 
 Clark persevered until the captain said : " If 
 you can convince me that you and the other 
 gentleman are able seamen you can have the 
 Wanderer for a dollar an hour. I tell you what 
 't is — you bring your party aboard, and if you 
 can get the yacht under way in good, seaman- 
 ship style you can take her." 
 
 " All right," said Clark, and forthwith brought 
 the Parks aboard. 
 
 Captain Hicks was soon convinced that the 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 3 1 
 
 Wanderer was in good hands, and he rowed 
 ashore in his own boat, taking in tow the one 
 Clark had been using. 
 
 The breeze was rather light when they started 
 out, and Clark set the gaff-topsail. 
 
 " It seems good to be on a yacht once more," 
 said Tom. 
 
 " I wish it would blow a little harder. Tom 
 is never satisfied until the rail is under water," 
 said Mrs. Park. 
 
 " No raillery, please," said Tom. 
 
 She has a jib-topsail ; why not put it on 
 her ? " came from Clark. 
 
 " Aye, aye, sir," cried Tom. 
 
 Clark went out on the end of the bowsprit 
 and unfurled the jib-topsail. 
 
 " How does it seem out there ? " inquired 
 Tom. 
 
 " Like being at home again. I remember 
 we thought it great fun to go out on the old 
 Idas bowsprit when the waves were so high 
 that we were wet through and through. But 
 I 'm not exactly rigged for such an adventure 
 to-day." 
 
 The jib-topsail was soon drawing finely. 
 
132 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 When Clark came aft they all called for some 
 f music from his violin which he had brought 
 aboard with him. The wind was blowing 
 harder now, and Tom was as happy as a clam 
 at high water. 
 
 " This is glorious," he exclaimed, " I feel as 
 though I could preach a fair kind of a sermon! " 
 
 " Oh, don't think of it ! " came in chorus. 
 
 " Tom's favorite texts are about the sea ; and 
 once when he was speaking extempore he be- 
 came excited over his own description of one of 
 St. Paul's voyages, and made us laugh by tell- 
 ing us the apostle had a splendid cruise ! " said 
 Clara Park. 
 
 " We shall be obliged to take in our topsails. 
 Those vessels to windward have a stiff breeze," 
 said Clark. 
 
 The light sails were soon furled, and as the 
 wind had increased very much the Wanderer 
 had all the canvas she could carry comfortably, 
 and her " crew " sat up to windward. 
 
 " There is really no excuse for upsetting a 
 boat," said Tom. " It all comes from carrying 
 more sail than there is any excuse for doing. I 
 once knew a professional tease who was con- 
 

 WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 33 
 
 tinually upsetting persons because he had a 
 morbid curiosity for seeing how much they 
 would stand without being upset! It is a good 
 deal the same with a boat." 
 
 " Is this the commencement of the sermon ? " 
 asked Clark. 
 
 " There 's a boat upset ! " cried Mrs. Park. 
 
 " Where ? " 
 
 " Ahead of us a short distance." 
 
 " Mrs. Park was right — not a quarter of a 
 mile away two persons were seen clinging to 
 the bottom of a small boat. 
 
 " We must pick them up," said Clark. " There 
 is a woman there. I will go forward, Tom, and 
 you luff up when we are near them and I '11 
 take in the jib." 
 
 Tom made a good " come to," and the Wan- 
 derer was soon along-side of the wrecked boat. 
 
 Clark was helping to get the woman aboard 
 when she cried : 
 
 " O my child ! my child ! " 
 
 " Take care of my violin, Tom," said Clark, as 
 he removed coat, vest, and shoes in a twink- 
 ling. 
 
 He had discovered the child, still buoyed up 
 
134 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 by its clothes, some distance away, and had 
 pulled the woman aboard, removed the articles 
 mentioned, and was overboard in less time than 
 it takes to write it. Clark was a good swimmer, 
 but the water was rough, and several times 
 he lost sight of the child. When at last he 
 had it in his grasp it seemed lifeless. He 
 held its head above the water, and then the 
 child after gasping for breath commenced cry- 
 ing lustily. 
 
 " I never thought I could be so glad to hear 
 a child cry! I was n't a moment too soon, 
 though," thought Clark. He was soon picked 
 up by the Wanderer, and upon getting aboard 
 looked at once for his violin. It was safe. 
 
 The wrecked boat was taken in tow, and the 
 yacht headed for the harbor. Clark was fairly 
 embraced by the father and mother of the child 
 he had saved. It could not be called a warm 
 embrace, for they were all too wet ! 
 
 At first Clark had had a sort of contempt 
 for the father, who had made no effort to save 
 his own child, but when he saw that the man 
 had but one arm and stated that he could not 
 swim a stroke, Clark thought better of him. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 135 
 
 As the yacht rounded-to at her anchorage, 
 Captain Hicks came out to meet the party, 
 and took them all ashore. The family who had 
 been upset lived near the water, and tried to 
 persuade Clark to go with them and put on dry 
 clothes, but there being a hack near by he called 
 to the driver, and he, with the Parks, were 
 taken to the hotel, and Tom loaned Clark a 
 pair of pantaloons which were too short by 
 four or five inches. 
 
 A drying and pressing at a tailor's brought 
 Clark's out all right, and in the course of three 
 hours he was clothed and in his right size. 
 
 When they were all together again that after- 
 noon, Tom said to Clark : 
 
 " Fred, I want to ask you a question." 
 
 " Go ahead." 
 
 " Aside from the pleasure it gave you to 
 save a human life, did n't you rather enjoy 
 that swim ? " 
 
 " Yes, I confess I did, after the child's cry 
 told me 't was all right." 
 
 " I thought so, you water-dog. You looked 
 as though you liked it, for you had a broad grin 
 on your face ! " 
 
I36 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 " 1 was very anxious about one thing, 
 though," said Clark. 
 
 "What was that?" 
 
 11 My violin. I was afraid some one would, 
 in the excitement, smash it. The water was 
 pretty cold ; but while I was swimming about 
 there, the thought that some one might sit 
 down on my violin sent a shiver through me 
 which made the water feel hot in comparison ! " 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 137 
 
 XXI. 
 
 CLARK had transacted no business on this, 
 " his first day in Chicago, but he made 
 himself a kind of half-way promise to work 
 hardthe following day. When morning came, 
 however, he felt in any thing but a business 
 humor After breakfast he proposed that they 
 should all take a drive, and they rode out to 
 
 Lincoln Park. 
 
 t i. . „r<.„,-„™r, fhpv were on board. 
 
 the 
 
 In the afternoon they were on 
 Wanderer again. 
 
 -What is the loss of one or two days.' 
 Clark argued to himself. « I am having a good 
 time with Tom, and may as well enjoy myse f 
 Tom is a good fellow. We will talk over old 
 
 times. , . . «.u„„ 
 
 As Clark and Tom were fond of rowing, they 
 indulged in a little moderate pulling in the 
 evening taking two small skiffs. Of course 
 the ladies could not be left behind so Mr. 
 Park went with Tom and Clara Park w.th 
 
1 38 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 Clark. Undoubtedly it was very severe upon 
 Clark to be thus separated from Tom for a 
 while, but he bore it bravely. 
 
 When Clark awoke on the morning of his 
 fourth day in Chicago, he appeared to realize, 
 for the first time, that he had been acting very 
 unlike himself of late. His time had been de- 
 voted to — Tom during three entire days, when 
 he should have been doing his utmost to act the 
 part of a commercial traveller and push for or- 
 ders. He knew, too, that his services were re- 
 quired at the office, and that nothing should 
 have been allowed to interfere with the comple- 
 tion of his trip as soon as possible. 
 
 < He now lectured himself unsparingly for 
 even thinking of making the Lake trip, for, the 
 truth was, he had thought seriously of going 
 with the Parks on the steamer, after all. 
 
 " I will see the Chicago trade to-day. To- 
 morrow Tom will leave on the steamer. Tom 
 is a good fellow, and I would like to make the 
 Lake trip with him, but of course it is not to be 
 thought of. Business is business ! " 
 
 Thus reasoned Clark, as he thought of the 
 three days he had passed in Chicago. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 39 
 
 After breakfast, he told Tom he was going to 
 work that day, and then he went to his room 
 to get his samples of keels. The samples 
 seemed like strangers to him. As he was 
 going out to make his first business call he 
 hesitated. 
 
 " How unfriendly it would be for me to de- 
 vote this day to business, when it is probably 
 the last time Tom and I shall be together for a 
 long while ! Tom is a good fellow. We have n't 
 talked over old times yet, either." 
 
 The samples were put back in the trunk, and 
 Lake Michigan again smiled on the party. 
 
 Late that afternoon, when Clark was alone in 
 his room, he stood before the glass gazing at 
 himself — not admiringly, but with threatening 
 aspect. Indeed, he was actually shaking his fist 
 at his own reflection V 
 
 " Promise me one thing, old boy, and that is 
 that you will leave for Milwaukee to-night. I 
 would n't trust you if you remained over till to- 
 morrow." 
 
 The promise came hard, but it was extracted 
 at last, Clark shaking hands with his reflection 
 to bind the agreement. 
 
140 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 He surprised his friends by bidding them 
 good-bye and departing on the 9 p. m. train for 
 Milwaukee. As he had not said a word to any 
 of them about going, this leave-taking was cer- 
 tainly very sudden, and Tom could not under- 
 stand why Clark would not wait until morning 
 and so see them off on the steamer. 
 
 Clark was on the train. The night was very 
 pleasant and calm, but Clark's condition was not 
 in keeping therewith, for within him all was very 
 tempestuous. Old Probabilities would have 
 hoisted the danger signal over him. 
 
 But as the train rushed on toward Milwaukee 
 he complimented himself upon his " will-power." 
 
 " I am thankful I had the will to give up the 
 crazy idea of that trip around the Lakes. Now 
 I shall be able to attend to my business in Mil- 
 waukee, return to Chicago, finish there, and 
 then take in St. Louis. Yes, I am glad I went 
 away to-night." 
 
 The next moment he was very sorry. 
 
 When the train was well on toward Milwau- 
 kee he asked the conductor : " Is there a train 
 going back to Chicago this evening ? " 
 
 " No, sir." 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 141 
 
 " That 's fortunate !" he thought, and imme- 
 diately afterward, " I 'm very sorry ! " adding 
 aloud : " There 's consistency for you ! " which 
 remark caused a number of "passengers to stare 
 at him. Again he questioned the conductor, 
 and was told there was a train leaving Milwau- 
 kee for Chicago at four in the morning, which 
 was due in Chicago at 7 a. m. Clark would ar- 
 rive at Milwaukee about midnight. 
 
 "Of course it is nonsense to think of that 
 four-o'clock train," mused Clark. 
 
 When he arrived at Milwaukee he went to 
 the hotel and to bed, congratulating himself 
 again upon his " will-power." It was settled 
 now. By the time he should be breakfasting 
 the steamer would have sailed with the Parks 
 aboard. " Tom is a good fellow, and I would 
 like to talk over old times with him, but business 
 is business," he said, as he turned out the gas. 
 
 After tossing about in bed for some time he 
 arose, struck a match, and looked at his watch. 
 
 " Half-past two ! I ought to have been 
 
 asleep long ago. Now for a good long nap 
 
 before breakfast. I have n't slept well lately. 
 
 Tom is a good fellow," 
 10 
 
I4 2 A COMMERCIAL TRIP 
 
 He lay quietly for a while, though wide- 
 awake. 
 
 Again he jumped up and struck a match. 
 
 " Twenty minutes past three." 
 
 He touched the electric-bell button. A 
 colored boy answered the call. 
 
 " Order the omnibus to wait for me. I '11 be 
 down in fifteen minutes or less. Am going to 
 Chicago on the four-o'clock train." 
 
 At the depot he sent a telegram to his 
 partner, which read as follows : "Going around 
 the Lakes. Home next week. Skipped St. 
 Louis, Milwaukee, and Chicago," and he found 
 himself writing " Tom is a good fellow ! " which 
 brought him to his senses. 
 
 " I 'm terribly worked up and absent-minded. 
 How hot 't is ! " 
 
 The train was an hour late, so it was eight 
 o'clock before Clark arrived at Chicago. He 
 entered a hack, and, with his luggage, soon 
 brought up at the steamer's dock. 
 
 The Parks were on the upper deck, and with 
 astonishment saw him coming on board. 
 
 " I changed my mind, and am to be one of 
 your party after all," he said. 
 
WITH AN UNCOMMERCIAL ENDING. 1 43 
 
 * # tt -x- *• 
 
 Good-bye, Clark ; you have ceased to be 
 a commercial traveller, and so we leave you. 
 
 Tom is a good fellow, and you showed your 
 great regard for him when you deserted your 
 business so that you might join him on the 
 Lake trip. You did not take very kindly to 
 commercial travelling, but we know you have 
 a very affectionate feeling for Indianapolis and 
 Chicago, and also for the Lake steamer, upon 
 whose deck you told Clara Park the " old, old, 
 story," just as though you were imparting a bit 
 of news ; while, of course, the fact was, every 
 one at all interested had discovered the truth 
 long before. 
 
 We are a little surprised that any one who 
 prides himself, as you do, upon being a good 
 sailor, should feel obliged to call upon Tom to 
 tie a knot for you. 
 
 You and Tom have not yet talked over 
 old times together very much, but perhaps after 
 the trip which you are soon to make, and which 
 will be strictly non-commercial, you may give 
 your neglected college-chum a little attention. 
 Considering that you departed in haste from 
 
144 A COMMERCIAL TRIP. 
 
 St. Louis, so that you and Tom could meet and 
 talk over old times ; neglected your business in 
 Chicago for a like reason ; and astonished your 
 partner by taking a pleasure trip on a Lake 
 steamer, and all this so that you and Tom 
 could be together and talk over old times ; we 
 say, considering all these things, we cannot 
 help thinking that you have been very neglect- 
 ful of Tom. 
 
 Three months is a short engagement, Clark, 
 and we feel certain you would have waited 
 longer had you not longed for the time to 
 come when, seated before your own hearth- 
 stone, and no longer a bachelor, you and Tom 
 could talk over old times. 
 
 Tom is a good fellow ! 
 
 THE END. 
 
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Specimen Page of " PRINCE ZILAH." 
 
 PRINCE ZILAIL ^9 
 
 She shivered and moaned, there was such a change in 
 the way Ahdras pronounced this word, which he had 
 spoken a moment before in tones so loving and caress- 
 ing, — Princess. 
 
 Now the word threatened her. 
 
 " Listen ! I am going to tell you: I wished — Ah ! My 
 God ! My God ! Unhappy woman that I am ! Do not 
 read, do not read ! " 
 
 Andras, who had turned very pale, gently removed her" 
 grasp from the package, and said, very slowly and 
 gravely, but with a tenderness in which hope still ap- 
 peared : 
 
 " Come, Marsa, let us see ; what do you wish me to 
 think ? Why do you wish me not to read these letters ? 
 for letters they doubtless are. What have letters sent 
 me by Count Menko to do with you ? You do not wish 
 me to read them?" 
 
 He paused a moment, and then, while Marsa's eyes im- 
 plored him with the mute prayer of a person condemned 
 to death by the executioner, he repeated : 
 
 " You do not wish me to read them ? Well, so be it ; I 
 will not read them, but upon one condition : you must 
 swear to me, understand, swear to me, that your name is 
 not traced in these letters, and that Michel Menko has 
 nothing in common with the Princess Zilah." 
 
 She listened, she heard him ; but Andras wondered if 
 she understood, she stood there so still and motionless, 
 as if stupefied by the shock of a moral tempest. 
 
 " There is, I am certain," he continued in the same 
 calm, slow voice, " there is within this envelope, some lie, 
 some plot. I will not even know what it is. I will not 
 ask you a single question, and I will throw these letters, 
 
Specimen Page of "THE BLACK SORCERESS." 
 
 222 THE BLACK SORCERESS. 
 
 " Believe me, Scarab, there is a sweeter pleasure than 
 that of vengeance; that of pardon. I do not tell you 
 to forget; I know that one can not command one's 
 heart — but forgive! Remember that there are about 
 you many creatures unhappier than yourself, and con- 
 centrate your thoughts on the noble aim of saving so 
 many unfortunates from misery and the cruelty of 
 their lords. Remember " 
 
 "Forgive?" she interrupted bitterly. "At this 
 moment when vengeance is within my grasp, do you 
 know what is my only regret? It is that this vengeance 
 will be insufficient to satisfy the hatred that consumes 
 me!" 
 
 "Sarah!" 
 
 " Yes, I would like to be able to invent new tor- 
 tures; I would like to be able to unite in one mass all 
 the sorrows, all the insults I have suffered, in order to 
 crush the Count and his bride, in order to make them 
 suffer in one day what I have suffered all my life! Oh! 
 I would like to trample their hearts under my feet, 
 and read a mortal anguish in each pulsation! " 
 
 "For Heaven's sake, Sarah, be calm!" 
 
 "Who speaks to me of Heaven?" she cried vio- 
 lently. " I know no longer anything but Hell! I tell 
 you, Florian, the perfidy of the Count and the con- 
 tempt of my rival have been to me like so much poi- 
 son poured into my veins. Ah! If this poisoned 
 blood could but fall drop by drop upon the hearts of 
 those who have wronged me! " 
 
 As she spoke these words the movement of the lights 
 in the chapel showed that the bridal train was about 
 to leave it 
 
Specimen Page of " EXECUTIONER'S REVENGE." 
 
 THE EXECUTIONER'S REVENGE. 127 
 
 " The following day she sought an interview 
 with the man whom she, with her husband, had 
 called a friend. She had resolved to sacrifice her 
 own honor, to save that of the man she loved ! 
 
 " Her husband' s debts were paid, and soon after 
 he returned home, but not to happiness, for 
 shortly afterwards his wife died, first confessing 
 to him the sacrifice she had made. 
 
 "He took an oath that the man who had thus 
 dishonored him should not go unpunished, and 
 sought a speedy opportunity of revenging himself. 
 They fought, and he believed that he had killed 
 his enemy, but the latter was only wounded, and 
 afterwards swore that his adversary had at- 
 tempted to murder him. The villain, who was 
 rich, and therefore all-powerful, was believed ; 
 and the other, after having witnessed the con- 
 fiscation of his property, was condemned to 
 exile. 
 
 "And now that you have followed me atten- 
 tively," said the duke de Lorma, " I will make 
 known to you the two men of whom I have been 
 speaking. The one who was exiled was called 
 the count de Merman. The other, the villain who 
 had seduced his wife, was the baron de Vergins, 
 your father! " 
 
 A cry of astonishment which Emma could not 
 
Specimen Page of "SUPPRESSED SENSATIONS. 
 
 Suppressed Sensations. 
 
 Before the eight o' clock train left for the East, 
 Mrs. Baxter sent for her bill, and in half an honr 
 she was speeding over the Lake Shore Railroad, 
 tickets for New York in her pocket. Three 
 days later, I was informed by telegraph from our 
 New York correspondent that she had sailed for 
 Europe in the Germanica. 
 
 The reader can not have forgotten the thrill of 
 horror which ran through the country when the 
 news came of the terrible catastrophe in the 
 British Channel, when the Germanica was run 
 down by a heavily-laden merchant vessel, and all 
 on board, with the exception of a few sailors, 
 perished. Among those who found a watery 
 grave were Mrs. Mortimer - Baxter and her 
 maid — the same woman who played the role 
 of the mother of the child on the night that 
 it was first taken from the house on De Puy- 
 ster street. 
 
 * * * * * 
 
 On the night of I met in the card-room 
 
 of one of Chicago' s fashionable clubs the gentle- 
 man who spoke to Gfarvey on the night of his 
 
 visit to the Hotel. I had gone to the club 
 
 to hunt up a New York gentleman visiting in the 
 city, and there met Mr. . " Oh, by the 
 
Specimen Page of "RIVAL DETECTIVES." 
 THE SHOT CAME FROM BARTEL'S PISTOL. 95 
 
 there had evidently been threats of a separation. 
 The Congregationalists present looked at their 
 Episcopalian brethren in triumph, as much as to 
 say, "We told you so;" but the latter returned 
 the look with interest, since it was not quite clear 
 who was the wronged person in this connubial 
 tift. 
 
 All eyes were turned on Bartel when he was 
 called upon to tell what he knew about the affair. 
 Many of the neighbors had not seen him since 
 he left the town a year before, and they scanned 
 his dull, almost repulsive features, with an eager 
 desire to discover traces of the gay but blood- 
 thirsty Lothario who had played- sad havoc with 
 the domestic peace of David Jones, and finally 
 sent the honest farmer hurrying to his last 
 account. 
 
 Their scrutiny was by no means satisfactory to 
 the country critics. Dick was morose and sullen, 
 and more than one remarked that the woman 
 who could squander wifely honor for such an 
 ill-favored scoundrel was fitter for a lunatic 
 asylum than an honored niche in Montcalm 
 society. 
 
 As he took the oath to tell the truth, and 
 nothing but the truth, Bartel shot a quick, in- 
 
Specimen Page of " CALLED BACK. 11 
 
 248 CALLED BACK. 
 
 looked in. He was growing quite impatient. 
 I had no reason for wishing to prolong the con- 
 versation, so I told him I should have finished 
 in a moment. He nodded his head, and with- 
 drew. 
 
 "If there is anything more I can do, let me 
 know," I said, turning to Ceneri. 
 
 ' ' There is nothing Stay ! one thing. Macari, 
 
 that villain — sooner or later he will get his de- 
 serts. I have suffered — so will he. When that 
 time comes, will you try to send me word ? It 
 may be difficult to do so, and I have no right to 
 ask the favor. But you have interest, and might 
 get intelligence sent me. If I am not dead by 
 then, it will make me happier." 
 
 Without waiting for my reply, he walked has- 
 tily to the door, and, with the sentry at his 
 side, was marched off to the prison. I followed 
 him. 
 
 As the cumbrous lock was being turned, he 
 paused. ' ' Farewell, Mr. Vaughan, " he said. ' ' If 
 I have wronged you, I entreat your pardon. We 
 shall meet no more." 
 
 "So far as I am concerned, I forgive you 
 freely." 
 
 He hesitated a moment, and then held out his 
 hand. The door was now open. I could see the 
 
Specimen Page of " FEDORA.' 
 
 IN THE RUE DE LA PAIX. 9 
 
 " Yes, do," responded Fedora. 
 
 A cab was passing, and Marietta took it. Fedora 
 refused the offer of the concierge to sit down in his room, 
 but walked nervously up and down the sidewalk, glancing 
 every now and then at the closed windows. She saw 
 that the inside blinds were shut, so that the apartments 
 must be in complete darkness. Then her husband could 
 not have arisen. As soon as this thought struck her, 
 she hastened to the concierge and begged him to force 
 the door. The concierge went to fetch a locksmith. In 
 live minutes the latter arrived. At the same moment a 
 carriage turned the corner of the street, drew up before 
 the house,. and Marietta alighted. 
 
 "Well?" cried Fedora. 
 
 Marietta responded by a shake of the head. 
 
 Fedora ascended to the entresol with the locksmith. 
 
 " You will have a hard time to open it," said the con- 
 cierge, "there is a bolt and chain, besides the lock." 
 
 But, to his great astonishment, the bolt was not drawn, 
 and the door was quickly opened. 
 
 Fedora rushed in. 
 
 She crossed the antechamber, the dining room and the 
 salon; everything was in its accustomed order. 
 
 She entered the bedroom, the door of which was wide 
 open. 
 
 Suddenly Marietta heard a cry, a terrible cry. She 
 ran into the room. 
 
 Fedora was lying unconscious in the middle of the 
 chamber. 
 
 Half on the floor and half on the bed was the body 
 of a man, covered with blood. 
 
 And upon a leaf of an open memorandum book, were 
 these words, written in blood: 
 
 " Fedora, avenge me. The assassin is — " 
 
Specimen Page of " DARK DAYS. 1 
 
 DARK DAYS. 81 
 
 over, that Sir Mervyn Ferrand was her husband ; 
 that he had ill-used her. She would most cer- 
 tainly know to whom Philippa had fled. It did 
 not follow that because I was ignorant as to who 
 were my neighbors, they knew nothing about 
 me. At any rate, William, my man, would 
 know the truth. So far as I could see, to-morrow 
 or, by the latest, the next day Philippa would be 
 arrested for the crime. Most probably, I should 
 also be included in the arrest. For that I seemed 
 to care nothing ; except that it might hinder me 
 from helping my poor girl. 
 
 Any hope of removing Philippa — there, put it 
 in plain words — any hope of flight, for days, even 
 weeks, was vain. Let everything go as well as 
 can be in such cases, the girl must be kept in 
 seclusion and quiet for at least a fortnight or 
 three weeks. I groaned as I thought of what 
 would happen if Philippa was arrested and car- 
 ried before the magistrates, accused of the awful 
 crime. From that moment until the day of her 
 death she would be insane. 
 
 Yet, what help was there for it ? The moment 
 
 the deed is known — the moment Mrs. Wilson 
 
 learns that Sir Mervyn Ferrand has been found 
 
 shot through the heart, she will let it be known 
 
 that Lady Ferrand is at hand ; and Lady Fer- 
 6 
 
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 perfect satisfaction. 
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 For sale bv all leading merchants. Price from $1.00 up, 
 
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