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The Columbia University Libraries reserve the right to refuse to accept a copying order if, in its judgement, fulfillment of the order would Involve violation of the copyright law. Author: Smart, Walter Kay Title: How to write business letters Place: New York Date: 1919 MASTER NEGATIVE * COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY LIBRARIES PRESERVATION DIVISION BIBLIOGRAPHIC MICROFORM TARGET ORIGINAL MATERIAL AS FILMED • EXISTING BIBLIOGRAPHIC RECORD '^"^»f"«^ir"«"wii Ut^^-a^, Saart, Walter Kay, How to write Imalneao letters. ed» by Walter r SMTt... In oollaboration with the edltorlml ■taff of System. Sew lork, Shaw. 1920. 160 p. forme, si^ om. (shaw buelne.. training aeries) o i«-'» n « * ii..i>iii n ii r fc m ^^smtM^mtm^itftltmtt, ■MkMbMHMwMMltaAMMMmdIi ^ RESTRICTIONS ON USE: TECHNICAL MICROFORM DATA FILM SIZE: '^Si^*f\ REDUCTION RATIO: \'M IMAGE PLACEMENT: lA (hX) IB IIB DATE FILMED: JQIG^IQ^ INITIALS: TRACKING # : > CD 55 lOQ Q 3 X 1^^ cnx ^-< COM o 3 3 > o m co_, S3 I C/) X N X > ^: ^^: ^ ^e; ^^J >- .^ .'^■ 'V: ^ k*'- 8 O i i > Ul o i i A^^ > Ul J^ ^^ L^ ^:^» '«,> ^ a^ s 3 3 II ^~ en mil I.I 1.0 ■■ == = 1.4 a^ « g lO ro 1.0 mm 1.5 mm 2.0 mm ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ abcdefghi)klmnopqrstuvwxyzl234567890 ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzl234567890 ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz 1234567890 ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz 2.5 mm 1234567890 V r^^ ^ ^ fe ¥d> fo ip 4- .«^ *^ *v <, <^ :^^ ■"^ i? f^ ^ -Sr m H 3D O O "o m -o > Ccd 0(/) ; > m •V 6^ -^^ en 3 3 o 3 3 !« t! li l§ 5o ox 00 Kl s ♦ v. LIBRARY ! • / * School of Business f I « HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS EDITED BY WALTER K. SMART, PH. D. HEAD OP THE DEPARTMENT OF ENGUSH OF ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY AND LECTURER ON BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE IN THE SCHOOL OF CO^LMERCE OF NORTHWESTERN UNF^^ERSITY IN COLLABORATION WITH THE EDITORIAL STAFF OF SYSTEM A. W. SHAW COMPANY NEW YORK CHICAGO LONDON 1920 COPYRIGHT 1»1«, BY A. W. SHAW COMPANY HinikFrintint ym ff «D ni tn tmnsD •«▲» ov * imi0 4 9 ■ CONTENTS Chapteb Page I. THE TONE OP A BUSINESS LETTER y n. THE MAKE-UP OP A BUSINESS LETTER m. INQUIRY. CONTRACT, AND ROUTINE LETTERS ... 19 IV. ADJUSTING COMPLAINTS BY LETTER . V. COLLECTING BY MAtt 43 VI. WHAT A SALES LETTER MUST DO 00 Vn. GETTING ATTENTION AND AROUSING INTEEEST Vin. EXPLANATION-DESCRIBING THE PRODUCT ... gl IX. PROVING YOUR CLAIMS . 88 X. PERSUADING THE PROSPECT TO BUY . * • • • • M XI. WHAT INDUCEMENTS TO OFFER 108 Xn. SUMMARY AND CLIMAX-CLINCHING THE SALE ... 109 Xm. DEVEIX)PING A FOLLOW-UP SERIES ^^^ 118 XIV. NEWS VALUE 185 XV. GIVING YOUR LETTERS PERSONALITY 140 XVI. THE "YOU" INTEREST 140 INDEX U7 Exhibit of Acttual Letters Reproduced ANNOUNCEMENT COICMON ERBOB8 IN ABRANOBMENT 14 WELL-BALANCED ABRANOEMENT • 15 HOW ONE COMPANY WBITE8 A REFEBENCE LETTEB 23 ▲ COMPLAINT LETTEB AND AN X7NTACTFUL BEPLT 86 TACTFUL BEPLT TO THE SAME COMPLAINT 87 COLLECTION LETTEB SEBIES 54-56 WELL-BUILT SALES LETTEB 62 A POOB LETTEB, WITHOUT SALES TALUB ..••.•.. 64 THE SAME PBOPOSITION IN WINNING FOBM • • 65 A GOOD LETTEB SHOWING HOW ATTENTION MAT BE WON 71 LETTEB THAT HOLDS INTEREST TO THE END ......*. 75 LETTEB COBBECTLT USING EXPLANATION AND PBOOF 90,91 A BEPLT TO AN INQUIRY, FUBTHEB STIMULATING INTEBEST ..... 08 THE KIND OF BEPLY TO AVOID 99 A LETTEB CLEVEBLY EMBODYING INDUCEMENT 105 BALES FOLLOW-UP THAT BROUGHT BESULTS •...»••• 106 A SALES FOLLOW-UP SHOWING TYPICAL FAULTS . . . . ' . . .112 THE SAME PBOPOSITION, REWRITTEN AND CORRECTED 118 ▲ GOOD LETTEB LEADING THE BEADEB TO THE BUYING POINT • . . .115 BALES FOLLOW-UP SERIES 121-125 PUTTING NEWS VALUE TO WORK IN THE SALES LETTER . . . . .137 A POOR LETTER, LACKING IN PERSONALITY AND APPEAL . . • . . 142 THE SAME ARTICLE SOLD IN REAL MAN-TO-MAN TALK ...... 143 GOOD EXAMPLE OF STRONG PERSONALITY IN A SALES LETTER .... 145 HOW AN ADVERTISING MAN SOLD A BOAT BY MAIL 146, 147 HOW THE SELI^r's INTEREST CROWDS OUT THE *'Y0U" ELEMENT . . . 152 THE SAME LETTER REWRITTEN FROM THE BUYER'b POI>fT OF VIEW . . . 153 rno give those who are interested in the study of business cor- i. respondenee a discussion of the subject at once brief, logical, specific and practical is the purpose of this volume. In producing it, the demand every concern feels for more efficient letter writers has '>een a controlling factor. Not only the many specimen letters and paragraphs reproduced, but also the principles and rules have come out of the hard-earned experience of enterprising concerns. No effort has been spared to arrange this specific material so that it can most readily be grasped and applied. Beginning with the simplest correspondence matters and letter forms, the discussion leads up to the writing of the successful sales letter, which is perhaps the most difficult as weU as the most important form of business correspondence. In style and mechanical form the aim has been to make the book in a measure an illustration of the same arts of persuasion upon which advertisements and business letters depend for their vitality. As each type of business letter is taken up, the reader or student IS shown how to construct it paragraph by paragraph ; securing atten- tion; delivering a concise selling description, stating a collection arrangement or putting an adjustment into persuasive terms ; proving a claim ; proposing a contract, and closing the letter in a way which urges to action. As he works out these paragraphs, the correspondent can compare them with actual models which have sold goods, adjusted difficult complaints, collected slow accounts and handled efficiently the various problems of a business. Only the free access to the confidential data of business houses which the publishers have for many years enjoyed has made this work possible. In many cases the source and history of these actual business letters cannot be made public. Among the firms which may be men- tioned as having contributed valuable matter are : Portland Silo Com- pany, The Regina Company, Franklin Automobile Company, Frank E. Davis Company, Horton Manufacturing Company, Geo. Stuhler's Sons Company, Peoples Gas Light and Coke Company of Chicago, Story & Story, Gray & Graham Company, Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company, Old Town Canoe Company, A. B. Farquhar Company, Link-Belt Company, Holeproof Hosiery Company, Superior Under- wear Company, and Lasalle and Koch Company. In the earlier editions of the book, issued under the title, **How to Write Letters That Win,'* of which many printings were demanded, twelve hundred business letters were studied, classified, and discussed. In the present completely reconstructed and much enlarged volume more than nineteen hundred letters have been considered. The correspondence files of many concerns have also been studied, and System's editors and letter writers, especially Mr. Dennis, Mr. Murphy and Mr. Sumner, have contributed freely of their experience with letter work. For the present edition, credit is especially due to Professor Smart, head of the English department of Armour Institute of Technology and lecturer on business correspondence in the School of Commerce of Northwestern University, who has contributed much new material, and has thoroughly revised and rearranged the book. Grate- ful acknowledgment is made also to the hundreds of business men and teachers whose corrections and suggestions bearing upon the former editions have, we hope, made the present volume accurately reflect the best correspondence practice. THE PUBLISHERS. CHAPTER I THE TONE OF A BUSINESS LETTER T F THERE has been one development in the last gen- 1 eration that has contributed more than any other to business growth, it has been the development of the business letter. Letters— right letters— are no longer the mere stereotyped paper mediums of solicitation and acknowledgment They are living, breathing personaU- ties, with all the capabilities and characteristics of the men behind them. Forty years ago the only letters that showed symp- toms of red-blooded authorship were impassioned love missives and the controversial letters of statesmen. Then someone, somewhere, conceived the idea that human interest could be woven into a business letter as well as into a personal message ; that a business letter, after all, was but a personal message; and that it was possible to talk to a man a thousand miles away in the same words that you would use if he sat beside your desk. That discovery, developed, has of itself dissolved dis- tance and placed the inter-relationship of business men upon a basis of courtesy and intimacy that no other could accomplish. And more important, it has made possible the transaction of an enormous bulk of business at an insignificant fraction of what the personal handling of Giving letters a personal tone Business^ getting power qf the personal letter 8 HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Personal tone means showing interest in ihe cttsUmier How the personal tone can be secured Regard each customer as an indi' vidual it would have cost. Over one hundred million dollars in sales made by one house last year entirely by mail — that is a specific example of results. Getting this personal tone in a business letter is largely a matter of showing a personal interest in the customer and his affairs. If you are writing a sales letter, emphasize the benefit he will derive from owning the article you are offering. If it is a collection letter, make him feel that you are fair, and considerate of his difficulties — until, of course, he has shown that he deserves no consideration. In a letter answerinsr a complaint, not only adjust the difficulty, but show your desire to satisfy him in full, and make him realize that you really value his patronage. If it is an acknowledg- ment of an order, put a little warmth into your thanks. In other words, show that you are interested in the matter about which you are writing, and that you do not consider it merely as a part of the day's routine work. In the simpler forms of letters, such as the acknowl- edgment of orders, it is not difficult to show this personal interest, for there it is only a matter of dropping a few cordial words here and there in the letter. In the more complex forms, however, such as the sales letter, get- ting the right tone will require a special effort. In the first place you must learn to look upon each of your customers as an individual, not as an abstract being — one of a thousand men all of whom have the same characteristics. The latter is the attitude of the old-school correspondent. He says the same thing in the same way every time he writes about a certain matter. He makes no attempt to adapt his letters to the differ- ent classes of readers. He sees men in the mass, not as individuals ; and seeing them thus he cannot help making his letters formal and impersonal. We are not arguing here that you — ^the correspond- ent — must know all your customers personally, for THE TONE OF THE LETTER that is obviously impossible in a large business concern. If it were possible for you to do this, and then if you would dictate a personal letter to each customer, you would have the ideal conditions for carrying on business correspondence. But since this ideal is unattainable, you must find a substitute for it — ^you must create a typical individual to whom your letters are to bo written. The first step in this process of creation is to recog- nize the fact that men fall into certain broad classes each of which has certain general characteristics. Then group your customers according to these classes. There are various available means for determining to which one any given customer belongs. His trade or profes- sion, and the section of country in which he lives will give some idea. Then you may judge from his letters, or you may get information from your traveling sales- men who know him, or you may form an estimate from a study of his former dealings with your house. This information is not difficult to secure, and the added ef- fectiveness of your letters will more than repay you for the extra trouble involved in gathering it. Now, having placed the customer in a certain class, try to visualize a typical representative — an average man — of that class. Most public speakers single out some person, or perhaps two or three persons, in the audience, and gauge the effect of their speech on the audience by the effect on them. In this connection it is also interest- ing to note that one of the leading magazines on business is ** written af one business man, who is known to the editors. The attitude of the other subscribers toward the magazine is judged by his attitude, and his opinion is constantly sought. Of course he is not told that his judgment is utilized in this way, for the value of the test lies in his being unconscious of his influence. Like- wise, a well-known housekeeping magazine is tested out on one woman, who also is unaware of the part she plays ''CreaU" a typical customer Place each customer in his proper class Visualize a representa- tive for each class J' II 10 Test the letter on this representa- tive Talk to him as if he were at your desk Avoid the stereotyped beginning HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS in shaping the policy of the paper. These people are selected as typical of the class for whom the speech or the magazine is intended. So the business letter writer who would get the per- sonal tone in his correspondence picks out a typical rep- resentative of each class of customers. It is usually some one whom he knows personally; and as he writes, he has this man*s face before him and he tests his letter^ by the imagined effect upon his representative. Having selected your "average'' man, now talk to him as if he were face to face with you in your office. Imagine him there, and then try to talk to him in the meaningless jargon of the old-style business letter. Try the old formulas, * 'I beg to advise," '*In reply to your valued favor, would say," and a hundred others like them. Can you think of yourself talking to a flesh-and- blood man in such ridiculous language ? Then don't use it in your letters. You can't express personal interest in such stereotyped, impersonal language. Write natur- ally. Use words that mean something definite. Strive for an easy conversational tone. In the beginning of the letter avoid worn-out and meaningless expressions, such as, **In reply to your esteemed favor of the 12th inst. we beg to advise," or ''Your valued letter of the 15th ult is at hand, and in reply would say." These strike the wrong note at the start; they can't convey any feeling of personal interest. If you want to acknowledge the receipt of a letter, do it naturally; as, *'The catalogue for which you wrote on the 10th is being mailed to you today," or *' We were sorry to learn from your letter of the 7th that the goods were damaged when they reached you." Likewise, the old-fashioned complimentary close. Hoping to hear from you soon, we beg to remain," or Trusting that this arrangement will be satisfactory to you, we are," is hopelessly stilted and impersonal. Many letters — one might almost say the majority — do n tt THE TONE OF THE LETTER not need a complimentary close. Finish what you have to say, and then sign your name: ** Sincerely yours," or ** Cordially yours, W. J. Adams." If you think some- thing more is needed, make your statement carry a mes- sage of personal interest. *'We shall await your reply with interest," or **We are confident that you will have no further trouble \^dth this order," are very different in tone from the stock expressions cited above. Throughout the letter avoid conventional phrase- ology. Don't always ** advise" a man; why not occa- sionally "inform" or "tell" him? Not every letter is an "esteemed" or "valued favor;" nor is every order "kind." Instead of saying that a letter "is at hand" or "has come to hand," say that you have "received" it "July" or "August" is more natural and definite than "ult." or "inst." Don't give the impression that you are not in the habit of reading the letters that you receive, by telling a man that in the case of his letter the "contents were carefully noted." Remember that "begging" is not an honorable attitude among dignified business men. And finally, don't be ashamed of the per- sonal pronoun "I." The foolish impression has grown up that it is immodest to use this perfectly good word in business correspondence. To be sure, it should not be overworked, but if your sentence requires it, use it. In the next letter you write, get a new way of ex- pressing the old ideas. Make it original and distinctive. Make it a personal message. Do this a few times, and watch the results. It will not be long before you are wondering why you didn't rub the machine-finish off your correspondence long ago and talk business through the mail. There's a place for real letters in every busi- nessy and yours is one of them. 11 Close the letter ncUuraUy Avoid worn' out phrase- ology Try this — and watch the resvUs THE MAKE-UP OF THE LETTER 13 u ' 1 CHAPTER II Danger of ignoring accepted standards in the dress of letters THE MAKE-UP OF A BUSINESS LETTER npHE first estimate a business man makes of an un- 1 known correspondent is based on the appearance of his letter. A business man who is familiar with the ordinary conventional forms of a letter, is quick to notice any departure from the accepted standards. His first impulse upon receiving a communication of unusual shape or arrangement is to criticise. It breaks away from the routine ; it obtrudes itself upon his attention ; it attracts his notice in the same way as a pecidiar suit of clothes or a house of odd design, a unique table service, or any other object of everyday familiarity and use that departs from the forms to which he has been accus- tomed. It is undoubtedly true that on rare occasions the effects of such changes are pleasing. But it is also true that the generally observed forms, especially of business letters, have been accepted for certain well defined rea- sons after practical experimenting. He who adopts new standards sliould do so cautiously and for cause ; other- wise he may expect the same criticism that falls to him who adopts the unusual in dress or manner. For practical purposes the size of a sheet of business stationery should be approximately 8 by 11 inches; even Accepted standards have been tested by experience though it vary a little in either dimension, it should observe about these proportions. This size has been established by no single authority or group of author- ities, and a correspondent may vary it if he wishes. A man once wrote a message on an oyster shell, stamped it, and the postal authorities, in the course of time, delivered it to the addressee. But the standard envelope is 3% by 61/2 inches in size, and a sheet about 8 by 11 inches folds into it very conveniently. This standard envelope is handled more quickly and safely by the post office than smaller ones that may get lost in the shuffle ; the miscar- riage of small, odd shaped envelopes used for sending out personal cards and announcements has caused more than one social faux pas. Furthermore, a sheet of these proportions is con- venient to handle and to file. And as business houses generally observe the safe and sane usage, envelopes and sheets of standard size and form are preferred to the oyster shell school of originality. For legal documents, manuscripts, and other larger sheets, larger envelopes, also of standard size, are provided. Every business letter should be written on business stationery— with a business letterhead ; and should be sent out in an envelope with the name and address of the sender printed, lithographed, engraved, or otherwise clearly noted in the upper left corner. Then, in case of non-delivery, the official pointing-hand stamp of the post office, with the instructions *' return to sender," may be affixed, without causing undue annoyance as is sometimes occasioned by placing the return address on the back of the envelope or in some other unusual place. A copy should be kept of every communication that leaves the office. Either a carbon copy may be made at the time the letter is written (six good copies may be made simultaneously on the average typewriter machine, although only one is usually required), or a letter-press Standard sizes in stationery are best Variations to suit special uses Value of engraved or printed stationery J III } s n I 1 I) If 14 HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Letterhead too near top of theet Dateline extending beyond margin SaliUation too high and ehotdd not be indented Margin at left too narrow; ragped at the right Paragraph* not indented uniformly or separated by uniform epacee Crowding at bottom of page r UTTER HEAD MBY OF UTTER I COMPimENTARY ClOSE | I SICMTttRE TITU COMMON ERRORS IN ARRANGEMENT it, tJf\Trt^^rl\^ '*^^' * ^'**'' ^ * Photograph of the bntnness behind wMctXXSLL rr^^Zr.^^^*" would su«,est a company in cooperation and inXi. ? a proportion, improperly related, hidring in THE MAKE-UP OF THE LETTER I UTTER HEAD NAME AND ADDRESS lESsI DATE I] SAUITATIOH I BODY OF UTTER _] I COMPUMEMTARY ClOSE ] SIGNATURE TITU 15 Margin* at top and sides uniform indentation and paragraphing uniform All parts of the letter in balance Not crowded at bottom A WELL-BALANCED ARRANGEMENT In strikjng contrast to the arrangement on the opposite paee this letter snggeat, to the mind of the reader a weil-balanced, smooSy nJ^ Sl!'^. Tle^r ,h^^M? ?.!^ arrangement encourages buying. Like a good sal«man, » letter should be at its best to represent the business effectively. 16 t J it Keeping copies of correspond' ence !,'• Uniform position for i dates and f addresses Pleasing appearance of well- balanced margins HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS copy should be made from the sheet after it is signed. Both forms have been accepted by the courts as legal copies of correspondence. In the average office, constant reference is made to former correspondence ; no business house can afford to ignore such a record. Carbon copies are usually filed alphabetically by the name of either the company or individual to whom the letter is addressed ; letter-press copies must necessarily be filed chronolog- ically even when separate books for each letter of the alphabet are maintained. In either case the search through the files for a letter copy is facilitated by plsfcing "the name, address, and date of a letter at the top and in a uniform location. The date of a letter sliould be placed in the upper right comer of the page ; the recipient must know when the communication is sent; it may have a bearing on other communications. The name and address of the ad- dressee, corresponding to the address on the envelope, should in all cases be placed, as the formal salutation, in the upper left corner of the sheet. Not only does this establish at once the exact individual for whom the com- munication is intended, but it facilitates the filing of the correspondence. The margins of a business letter, owing to the limita- tions of the typewriter, are usually of variable width. The space occupied by the letterhead must, of course, determine the margin at the top of the sheet. Theoret- ically, the margins at the left and right should be of exactly the same size; practically, however, the type- written lines will vary in length and cause an uneven edge on the right side. In printing, the use of slugs of different sizes not only between the words but between the letters themselves, rectifies these variations, but the typewriter is not so equipped. The more even the right margin is and the more uniform it is with the left mar- gin, the better the effect. The margin should be about one or one and a half inches in width. The margin at THE MAKE-UP OF THE LETTER the bottom should not be smaUer and should be prefer ably greater than the side margins. Should it be smaUer, the pa^e wiU at once appear cramped for space as the reading matter will be really running over intou til^^n^d iS^i'^S'inr.^^ ''*^°'"'' ^^ everything Aid bag. ^In I^ecW%M« w£* ^T^^* and complete First five yeafs' e^S^ln ^L^Jft of'w^r ^l ^^'^ ^^ <>«' several experiLced cai^ers!^ ""'^ '^^^ ^^ *^« advice of cnstolts!''Vi^-u|hWe^^ w«^^' ^/^ ^" * favorite with our boote, No. 6,onvrJeZ^^ and waterproof. The huntSg light/ durab/e^LiS* T.. I'^'^P^' ^ *^^ '•**•>• *o Mr. Chapman, on p. 35, the chief treatment of the "How we fed" sJkmsnt tekTnT " ^^^ paragraph, before the remedy is ««.f '*!.f^n^l!!'^''°** *'''*^ •" "l^^ly d«&»ed as they are m the mustrations quoted above. Thus, in the letter w^ ^*' *° P- ^' *^« "'"^^ «' tJie difficulty has not b^n determined, and therefore that cannot be ex- plained and no definite remedy can be given. bS t^ elements are aU there, in less definite form. In conclusion, remember that in answering a com- culty, but also to satisfy the customer so that he wiU remain a customer. If you are to do that, you mus^ make your letter personal and sympathetic. ZtZ T. rj *" ?f r'^'* ^*" '"^ "»»»* *ttit«de is to stop and consider how you would handle the customer if he came personaUy into your office. You wouldn't quar- rel with him; you would be courteous, and would do your best to show how sincerely desirous the firm is of giving hun a fair deal. "* « oi 'til CHAPTER V COLLECTING BY MAIL IT IS one thing to induce a man to take something that he wants; it is quite another to induce him to give ip something that he wants. Therein lies the vital differ- ence between the sales and the collection letter. The sales letter writer has the pleasant task of pre- senting an article in such an alluring way that the reader is willing to part with his money to own it The writer of the collection letter, on the other hand, must persuade a man to give up his money for an article which he already has in his possession, and from which he has already, in part at least, derived his profit. In other words, this writer has the proverbially difficult task of inducing a man to *'pay for a dead horse." He who would do this must bring into play a wide knowledge of human nature and an adaptability that will enable him to use the wise argument in the right place. The common division of debtors into three classes — good, slow, and bad pay — ^is true enough so far as it goes, but the problem is not so simple as that. Be- tween the two extremes of good and bad pay debtors, there are a thousand gradations, representing men of many different characteristics and in many different cir- cumstances. Bach presents an individual problem for The funda- mental dif' ference between sales and collec- tion letters Wide knowledge of human ha- ture needed by the coUeo- turn toriter 44 4 The misuse of form leUers Giving the collection letter the fight tone Regarding the debt as a strict business obligation HOW TO WBITE BUSINESS LETTEES solution. The successful coUection writer cannot afford to Ignore these individual problems, these manifoldXr acteristies, that make up human nature. Recognizing this, collection managers are coming, more and more to see the element of dangerin TToJ «tr,ct adherence to the use of fonn letters. K hant liBg of a great many smaU accounts, as in a mail order Plan, they are, of course, an economic necessity and m a commercial business also they will alwaT^e'^ m ases where there are no special conditions to be ^f But If any account is not fuUy covered by the ree^ir; dra^dte^lr"".*'"" "^"^^''^ ^"^ nottiSt trie is lo^Tt • " ''•^""'' ^"'"^ *o «"d whose trade is worth retaining, is certainly worth the extra trouble required by this procedure. Whatever kind of letter is used-the form or the rigttne^Llf d "^n «-* -- to 2el tt "ntidir^-f 1 ^5 ^™' ^"* «>«Biderate and r^H ? ? ^'^ "^^ **""« ^t« the letter is largely a matter of getting the right viewpoint, and thetiZ S.T\ **" '"^' ^-"^^ *^'"**>-''« Elation aLdt obligation to you really are. It is a mistake, in the first place, to look upon a iusf debt as anything but the strictest business obUgatS The customer has bought the goods on certain ter^ rd has agreed to pay according to these terms. SfTr^ payment should not be asked for on aay other S^^^ Tu^ ■ " P"y™«°t IS placed on any other basis tho an obligation; and any suggestion of this sort will be eagerly grasped by him as an excuse for evasion Especially bad is the practice of asking for payment on the ground that the firm is hard up: *"^ ^''^'^^''t COLLECTION LETTERS We are going to be frank in telling you that we need the money. You are only one of a large number of our customers who are back on their accounts, and unless you remit at least a part of what yon owe us, we may find ourselves in embarrassing circum- The moment you write a man like that you let him know that you are in the same elaae that he is, and you suggest to him a new excuse that he may not have used on you before. If you think it advisable to talk at aU along this line, do it without losing your dignity. But while it is necessary that you regard the debt aa a strict business obligation, it is equaUy important that you consider the debtor first of all as a customer; that his friendly patronage be retained if it is possible to do so ; and that he be granted any reasonable extensions in time that he may ask. A customer's trade is valuable to you until he has shown by a persistent ignoring of your requests for settlement that he cannot or does not intend to pay his bills voluntarily. Under those circum- stances his business is not desirable to you in the future, and you are perfectly justified in making a sterner de- mand for settlement or in taking any legal steps that may seem necessary. Keeping the customer's good will is a matter of selecting the proper arguments and using the right tone. It does not mean a weak-kneed collection policy or an apologetic attitude. It means making him see the fair- ness of your position and your readiness to give due con- sideration to his difficulties. The collection letter offers many opportunities for the use of little personal touches that give it the tone of friendly interest in the debtor's affairs. If you can make your letter show that, if you can make it convey the idea that you are interested in him and his welfare, as well as your own, you can insist upon payment without creating resentment. It is these intimate touches that get next to a man when mere formalities irritate and antagonize him. Keeping in mind this matter of the correct attitude— 45 The danger of the ''hard up** plea Considering the debtor as a customs Keemng the good vMl cf the customer I 46 HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS i considering the payment as a business obligation, and The elements retaining the good will of the customer— let us see what composing a elements compose successful collection letters. Now it Utter^ is well to remember that not all of these elements appear in every letter; but they represent proved meth- ods of handling a number of situations with which the collection writer is constantly confronted. The com- pleted letter will consist of the combination of these ele- ments that will best meet the requirements of any given case. First ele- The first is the notification of the standing of the ment: notifi- account. This element appears in practically every col- ^^ar^irfof^ lection letter, and usually forms the opening sentence or the account Paragraph. It may be a very informal reminder, con- veying the idea that failure to pay is due to a mere over- sight; thus: Dear Mr. Green: You have been so busy inaking your preparations for the holiday trade, that you have doubtless overlooked the fact that your account with us is somewhat overdue. You have settJed your I bills promptly in the past, and we feel confident that this re- I minder will meet with an equally prompt remittance in this instance. Starting with this very conciliatory reminder, the notification is made more and more emphatic with each succeeding letter of the collection series. The following is from the second letter of a series: Forms of notification used in different letters I The check you were to send me for $18.50, due on your bill of March 12th, has not arrived. No doubt you have overlooked the bill, or have it pigeon-holed for early settlement. In this letter, an oversight is again suggested, but such a suggestion is usually far-fetched after the first letter has been unanswered. This opening from a fourth letter is still more em^ phatic : I have sent you frequent statements jBud letters about th« $18.50 on your account, which is now two months past due. Yet you have not paid the account or even answered my letters. After this introductory sentence or paragraph con- COLLECTION LETTERS tainlng the notification of how the axjcount stands, the letter proceeds with the collection talk proper This will vary with the different classes of debtors and with the position of the letter in the series. Naturally, you would not write the same to the good-pay and the bad-pay cus- tomer, and the arguments that are suitable for the second letter would not be the ones to use in the fourth. Sometimes you have reason to beHeve that the debtor may have some vaUd reason which prevents immediate payment He may be dissatisfied with the goods or with the treatment his order received, but has not sent in any comp aint. Or he may be in temporary difficulty owing to sickness, to unexpected and unforeseeable local condi- tions which make his own collections slow, etc. If the customer is dissatisfied, the writer invites him to make his complaint known, and also seizes upon this oppor- tunity to impress upon him the firm's desire always to give complete satisfaction to every customer. In the second case, the coUection writer asks for a frank ex- planation, and declares the firm's willingness to make any reasonable arrangements to help him. For example, this letter offers to clear up any dis- satisfaction: ^ r.1- ^' .^" ^^* *^ ^^^ 'OJ* dissatisfaction with the contract swin^^f"?/' *! Tfu ^* ^» ^«"«^ *« clear Ta^^^S l^.^^ ^*.*^ °?J'** *^^ *o ^low the matter to draffTSr your account troublesome to us and annoying to you. *^ Here is the way one correspondent handled a situa- tion of the second sort: oMi^^ti^^^^^^^^ :^x^^\,^ 47 The coUec' tion talk proper Second ele^ ment: asking for explana- tion of non- payment When such inquiries are sent to the customer, your next procedure wiU depend upon the nature of his re- sponse. If he answers with some just complaint, and that IS adjusted, the chances are that he wiU settle the bill and thus close the transaction. If he writes that Third element: dealing with the custom^ er*s reply ^ 48 What to do if the ex- j)lanation is gatisfactory HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS he has met with temporary reverses that he could not have foreseen, the next step is to suggest some way out of the difficulty, such as to take his note with interest; to ask for part payment or payment in regular instal- ments; or to offer to take back the goods and cancel the biU. A typical paragraph, offering one of these sugges- tions, follows: Since you are unable to pay the whole of your bill now, we will let you settle for the rest with your personal notes, bearing interest at 6%. Send us the $75 which you can pay now. For the remainder, $150, you can send us at the same time one note, pay- able in sixty days; or two notes equal in amount, payable re- spectively in thirty and sixty days; or three equal in amount, payable respectively in thir^, sixty and ninety days. Choose the plan which suits you best. This arrangement will help you over your present difficulty. Procedure in case the explanation is not satisfactory Fourth element: arguments for prompt payment On the other hand, if the complaint was obviously trumped up to evade payment, if the difficulty was one which the customer could have guarded against, or if no response is made to the inquiry — ^then the collector will proceed with his efforts to force prompt and full pay- ment. The same" arguments will be used in this case as would be employed in a series where no inquiry was made concerning the reason for non-payment. Various arguments or reasons for prompt payment are used. It is to be remembered that these must be in harmony with the general principle, already laid down, that payment should be asked for only on the ground that it is justly due in exchange for value received. The following arguments are all valid under this principle : **We wish to close our books for the month;" ** prompt payment of bills enables us to offer lower prices, in the benefit of which each debtor shares;" *'our finances are arranged on the assumption that the bills due us will be paid promptly;" **a large number of small unpaid ac- counts make a big total for one house to carry," etc. Here is an example of the second argument : Prompt payment of bills by our customers makes it possible COLLECTION LETTERS for us to seU our goods more cheaply. When our money comes in regularly on the date due, we don't have to make an allowance for extra interest charges and add a percentage to all selling prices to cover the amount. You benefit by the low prices. An illustration of the third argument: As we arrange, as agreed with you, for monthly payments on our charge accounts, our finances are shaped to depend on pay- ments every thirty days. Therefore we ask a settlement of this account. Note the difference between the tone of these two letters and that of the one on p. 45. All three base their requests for payment on the fact that a business cannot be run without money; but the one on p. 45 is begging in tone, the other two are dignified and busi- ness-like. Sometimes a more urgent, personal appeal is needed. One effective appeal is to the debtor's sense of fair play. For example, one firm writes : Eeluctant as we are to believe that you would deliberately dis- regard a matter of this kind, we still feel that you are not accord- ing us proper treatment, in view of the many accommodations we have extended to you in the past. Again, a manufacturer writes to a dealer : If you realize that you have not paid for goods sold to you on sixty-day terms more than four months ago, we think you will concede that our treatment of your account has been exceedingly considerate, and that we are entitled to be paid without further delay, expense, or annoyance. In both of these letters the argument is— We have been considerate of you, now you be fair to us. **Turn about is fair play." Another appeal is to the debtor's pride— to his busi- ness or social standing, and the like ; thus : 49 A dignified "need the money" argument Fifth element: personal appeals Appeal to the debtor's sense affair play Your continued neglect of this obUgation leads us to one con- clusion, but It IS hard for us to believe that a man of your reputa- tion and standing would attempt to evade payment of a just debt. This also touches his pride: When you ordered the merchandise you received from us vou vC y/>"' o<^<^"Pation as factory superintendent. A position of this kind should carry with it considerable personal responsibiUty Yet as we wrote you in our recent letter, the account you now have With our company has not been se' "ed according to the contract Appeal to the debtor's pride 6Q Appeal that suggests the iU iff eels of non-pay- merU Typical appeaU of this class Hi Appeal based on avoiding annoyance and trouble HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS An appeal that will reach many debtors is one that suggests the bad effect of non-payment on their business, or, conversely, the good effect of prompt payment. In other words, it makes the man think of his own loss or gain. In this case, the suggestion of loss is usually more emphatic than that of gain, for the former plays upon his fear of the consequences which may follow his refusal to pay what he knows to be a just obligation. His guilty conscience — ^unless it is calloused by long mis- use — ^will reinforce the appeal The loss that is sug- gested may be refusal of future credit by our firm, the damage to his credit with other houses, the loss of finan- cial standing in his community, and similar matters of vital importance to a business man. * One firm writes: You want to keep your credit perfectly clear. The only sure way to do this, a« you well know, is to pay your bills promptly as they fall due. Any delay is liable to cause a bad impression, which you will find very difficult to get rid of later on. Another firm uses this: We desire to effect a settlement of this account in an easy and amicable way. Giving publicity to it would not help us any, but it would certainly bring discredit to you among your friends and neighbors. This last letter contains not only an appeal to his loss in his business relations, but also one to his personal pride. Then, again, the suggestion may be made that by paying he can save himself annoyance and trouble. This may be the annoyance of getting more ** dunning*' let- ters, or the trouble and expense of a lawsuit. For example, in one of the earlier letters of a series, one house uses this appeal : I not only wish to save myself the trouble of forwarding an- other statement, but I am quite as anxious to save you the annoy- ance of receiving another reminder. In the final letter of a series, this suggestion becomes a definite statement that legal proceedings will be promptly begun ; as : COLLECTION LETTERS ...7^ is our final notice, and should we fail to hear from you within ten days, the matter wiU be placed with our attorneys idth mst^ctions to take any action necSsary to effect ^q^Ts^^. The appeals just enumerated are the ones most com- monly used. They are based upon a sound knowledge of human nature and have been proved by tests to be effective. The list, however, is by no means complete. Each business man can add to it other appeals which his experience has proved will reach his dass of cus- tomers. Another element of the collection letter is that which urges the debtor -to do it now,- to pay up at once. Some writers content themselves with an urgent request for prompt payment; as, ** Please give this matter your immediate attention ; ' ' or ' * Send us your check or money order today.'' Others go further and suggest some means for making the act of paying easy; for example, Don 't bother to write a letter. Just pin your check to this note and mail it to me.'' Another encloses a blank check and writes: '^Simply sign the enclosed check and mail It to us. I have already fiUed it out for the right sum." • 51 Sixth element: request to ao it now** <( These *'easy.to-pay" methods have the advantage of minimizing the actual physical effort needed to make the payment. They are effective because they forestall man ^s inclination to put off a task unless it is made very easy to do. In this respect the collection writer has taken over one of the devices of the advertisement and sales letter writers, who have long recognized that the return coupon and the return post card are among their most valuable aids in getting returns. There remains for discussion one other element of the coDection letter— sales talk. Sometimes in the earHer letters of a series, after the customer has been reminded that his account is overdue, the writer, apparently for- getting that this is a collection letter, calls his attention to a new line of goods or intimates that an order from Making it easy to pay Seventh element: sales tcdk sa A collection letter that is a sales letter r I Summary of elements in a eoUection letter HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS him would be welcome. The object of introducing this sales talk into a collection letter is partly, of course, to secure further orders, but it is not primarily that. The chief purpose is to give the impression that the writer bas no other thought than that the account will be settled promptly, and that he regards the customer as one of the firm's most valued friends. This expression of con- fidence will bring many debtors into line for prompt pay- ment. It is a subtle and effective appeal to their pride. Dear Sir: Perhaps you will be interested to know that our "Maryland Titbits*' have received such an enthusiastic reception and have proved so satisfactory that over 38% of our first customers have re-ordered. That speaks well for our goods, doesn't it f I am glad to know that you, too, were pleased with the cigars sent you some days ago, and I suppose you have smoked quite a number by this time, as you have not returned the box. In accordance with the terms of our offer, I am enclosing the bill. I will much appreciate your early remittance. Why not send along an order for another box with your check? Yours very truly. This letter was signed in ink by the president of the company distributing the cigars. It proved an unusually successful first collection letter. It is really a sales letter. Let us now see how these elements may be arranged in a series of six collection letters. For convenience and definiteness of reference the principal elements are here summarized and numbered : I. Notification of the standing of the account. II. Request for debtor's reasons for failure or in- ability to pay: 1, dissatisfaction with the goods or with the company's handling of his order; 2, sickness, temporary financial diffi- culty, etc. in. Adjustment of the complaint, or suggestions of ways out of his difficulty. rV. Various arguments or reasons for prompt pay- ment. V. More urgent x>ersonaI appeals: 1, to the debtor's sense of fair play; 2, to his pride in his busi- COLLECTION LETTERS ness or social reputation ; 3, to the bad effect of non-payment on his credit standing; 4, to his desire to save himself annoyance and trouble. VI. Direct request for prompt payment Vn. Sales talk. In the series shown on pages 54 to 56, the debtor makes no reply to the company's request for a state- ment of his reasons for not paying; consequently, the elements marked III— which are in answer to these reasons— do not appear in the series. Likewise, IV is not found, for the writer of the letter devotes himself to the more urgent personal appeals, marked V. As was stated before, not all the elements necessarily, or even usually, appear in every letter or every series. In the first letter, the notification of the standing of the account (I) contains the suggestion that non-pay- ment may be due to a misunderstanding of the plan of payment expected by the company. The letter then ex- plains the plan; asks for the cooperation of the cus- tomer in carrying it out; and also assures him that if it becomes impossible for him to pay on the agreed dates, the company is willing to make the necessary arrange-' ments. Since the letter assumes that the failure to pay is the result merely of a misunderstanding, none of the formal appeals for payment are used. The letter, as is usually the case with the first letter of a series, is in- tended chiefly to serve as a reminder. In the fourth paragraph, sales value (VII) is given to the letter by the offer of the use of the free service departments. The letter ends with a request for payment (VI). The second letter opens with a stronger statement of the standing of the account (I), which occupies the first two paragraphs. The third paragraph makes appeals to the customer's sense of fair play (V, 1) and to his pride (V, 2) : the first, by reminding him that the company has made 53 Analysis of a series of collection letters — general Thefirsi letter The second letter 54 HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS COLLECTION LETTERS 55 SuggetUa definite eoXUo' Hon -polief^ DonH wait for a statement Makes payment datet adputable uHaer emergency condttiont Betaimthe debtor* 9 good wiU Dear Sir: Whenever one of our customers does not promptly remit his first payment under our contract with him, his account Is automati- cally referred to me. Your account has now run behind for two weeks. Often, in han- dling accounts called to my attention, I find that customers have misunderstood or been somewhat confused as to how payments are to be made. Perhaps you have done so. While as a reminder only we send out our statements shortly before payments are due, you need not wait for these, as by chance they may be delayed or fall to reach you. So send In your payment when it is due, and you will receive prompt credit and acknowlec^ment . I would like also to ask your cooper- ation In regard to your payments — that Is, that you write me if at any time it is impossible for you to make your payments on the date on which we agreed. This will prevent the possibility of any misunder- standing . Enclosed you will find an outline of our various service depaurtments . These services are offered to you free. Use thea regularly. . Will you put your remittance in the enclosed envelope and mall it today? Yours very truly. THE FIRST LETTER This is the first letter of an actual collection letter series. The remaining letters are shown on pages 55 and 56. The first letter is only a notification of the standing of the account. The second letter is a stronger statement of the standing of the account and courteously asks for immediate payment. The third letter seeks chiefiy for some explanation for the delay. The fourth letter is more insistent and peremptory than the preceding letters. The fifth letter carries a note of finality and exhausted patience. The sixth letter (not shown) is merely a notice of legal action for which the dehtor alone is responsible. I Dear Sir: You have disappointed me. I expected a reply to my recent letter regarding payment on your account, but none has come. It is now almost thirty days since payment was due. Your next payment matures in a few days, and I am sure you want to keep your account in good standing. We have granted you a long period of credit, broken into monthly payments, be- cause we appreciated the fact that this would make it easier for you to do business and because we were confident that, espe- cially under such conditions, responsible men are careful to maintain their credit. Will you not send us your check while this letter is still fresh in your mind? Or at least write to me that I may have a correct understanding of the situation; this will permit your account to be handled in a satisfactory manner. Yours truly. THE SECOND LETTER Dear Sir: Are you ill? Have you been absent from home? Has some unfortunate circum- stance overtaken you? Perhaps there is some unusual condi- tion which has prevented you from answering my letters or making your payments. I am rather of the opinion, however, that you have had the matter fully in mind, but have simply neglected it from day to day. Intending to forward your payment, but never quite "getting around to it." At any rate, I would appreciate it greatly if you would give this account your prompt attention NOW. Then you, too, will feel better. Yours truly. - THE THIRD LETTER Touches dAior*» pride genUjf A fair request plainly stated Offers an oppor^ iunity fof e^ planatton A firm ending which doa» not arouse resentment 56 HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS i III Another chance to explain and an appeal for equare deeding Loit (^nce to explain. Creditor insist- ent and patience waning Dear Sir: Have you any cause for complaint as to the handling of your account since becom- ing one of our customers? If so, will you write at once? I have tried to handle your account in a manner fair to you and to this company. I seem to have failed. At least you paid no attention to my letters and are letting your account become seriously delinquent. It is not fair to either of us to com- pel me to write again and again. The spirit of the golden rule is strong within us all, however, and I believe you will use the enclosed envelope to mail either your check for the two payments now due or a frank letter explaining why you have not paid. Sincerely yours. THE FOURTH LETTER . Dear Sir: If you are an honorable man, you will make payment on your account or mail us an explanation iimnediately . We have called your attention to this account several times. You have not answered. We accepted your contract, believing you responsible and honorable. We have done our part. You have not done yours. What shall we believe now? Yours very truly. THE FIFTH LETTER COLLECTION LETTERS 57 liberal terms in order to make payment easier for him ; the second, by the assumption that he is one of the class of responsible business men who are careful about main- taining their credit The closing paragraph courteously asks for imme- diate payment (VI) ; or at least for some explanation (II) which will give the company a correct understand- ing of the customer's intentiona This request is made a general one; the third letter asks specifically for the reasons classified as II, 2, the fourth, for those classi- fied as II, 1. In the third letter, the notification of the standing Xhe third of the account (I) is made rather incidentally in the leUer second paragraph. The letter begins with specific questions intended to find out whether the man is in trouble (II, 2) — whether unusual conditions prevent his paying. These give him an opportunity to explain his inability to pay, and open the way for the making of some arrangement to meet the new conditions, such as those discussed under III. (As no reply is received to this request, there is, of course, no opportunity, later, to make this arrangement.) The third paragraph asserts the company 's belief that the customer fully intends to pay, and has been merely putting off the matter until a more convenient time. The last paragraph asks that prompt attention be given to the account (VI). In this letter remittance is not asked for directly, although the customer is made to understand that it would, of course, be welcomed. The emphasis is on get- ting some explanation for the delay. In the fourth letter the standing of the account (I) The fourth IS given in the second paragraph. letter The letter first asks if the customer has any cause for complaint about the company's manner of handling his account (II, 1 ; the previous letter has emphasized II, 2). The rest of the letter plays upon the customer's sense i m ri if |i^ iw 58 Theffih letter The sixth letter Analysis of the series according to the princi- ples of right aitituas HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS of fair play (V, 1). In fact, this is the appeal that is featured throughout the letter. The tone of the letter is more insistent and per- emptory than that of the preceding members of the series. The fifth letter prepares the way for the final letter, which gives notice of legal action. This one is chiefly a concise statement of the present status of the ac- count (I). It sums up the results of the company's effort to collect the money : the company has made every reasonable offer; the customer has paid no attention. What can the company think about him now? It is going to give him one more chance, however, to show that he is an honorable man (appeal to his pride, V, 2). Short, crisp sentences are used to give the note of finality, of patience almost exhausted. The sixth, and last, letter of the series is a notice that the account will be turned over to an attorney, if it is not settled within ten days (the extreme form of V, 4). The customer's persistent ignoring of the previous letters has left the company no alternative; this action is forced upon it by his own neglect. Now analyze the series according to the two prin- ciples laid down in the preceding part of the chapter (pp. 44-46). Throughout, the series treats the debt as a strict business obligation ; nowhere is there a hint given that payment is demanded on any other ground than that it is justly due the company. Also, the customer is treated with the greatest con- sideration; the writer of the series never loses sight of the fact that he is addressing a customer whose good will is to be retained, and whose future patronage is to be secured. Let us see more particularly how this prin- ciple is carried out : The first four letters assert the firm's willingness to do everything in its power to help him. The first one offers to change the time of payment if the original COLLECTION LETTERS arrangement is inconvenient. The second asks in a gen- eral way for any explanation that will enable the com- pany to make some arrangement whereby the account can be handled satisfactorily to both parties in the con- tract. The third specifically inquires whether the non- pajnnent is due to sickness or other unforeseen difficul- ties; and implies that, if such is the case, the company is ready to help him out of the difficulty. The fourth suggests that perhaps the company has not handled the order satisfactorily; if so, the debtor has but to make known his complaint, and the company will correct the mistake. Beyond these four letters it is useless for the writer to ignore the suspicion that the customer probably does not intend to pay; and consequently, keeping his good will is no longer so important a matter. Even in the last two letters, however, the writer continues to em- phasize the company's desire to be fair, and puts the blame for any harsh procedure squarely upon the debtor himself. After receiving such a series, a man could hardly fail to be impressed with the company's fairness and willingness to help him. He would be unreasonable in- deed if he felt any ill will toward the house that was so considerate. Yet in the letters there is no hint of weakness or indecision. 59 Use of the principles in the different letters of the series The effect of such a series lft# CHAPTER VI WHAT A SALES LETTER MUST DO The princi- ples of sales- manship in a sales letter Careful selection of ideas and logical arrangement are necessary V nn HERE are certain basic principles upon which every A successful sales letter must be built, certain ele- ments which it must contain. If it is to take the place of a salesman and do what a good salesman would do, It must follow a definite line of procedure in making a written sale just as he does in making a personal one It must win for itself an audience with the prospective customer; and once that is gained, it must follow the steps of the sale exactly as the salesman does when he talks face to face with his prospect, leading him grad- uaUy, tactfully, through certain definite processes up to the actual signing of the order. For this reason every sentence and paragraph that goes into one of your letters should have a reason for being there. The sole aim of a letter is to get action, and non-essentials simply detract from its directness! You have no time to write them, nor has your prospect time to read them. It is the easiest thing in the world to write a letter that goes rambling from one topic to another without getting anywhere in particular. But the good letter writer has a definite end in mind, and he goes straight to it over a definite route. DIRECT SALES LETTERS Go about the writing of a letter as you would the preparation of an important speech. There are a ^ thousand things you might say, but only a few, perhaps ten, are vital. Think of as many as you can to begin with; then sift them to the few. Confine yourself to those points and drive them home, knowing the effect that each should have and its relation to the end you want to reach. ^ Consider now the good sales letter. It proceeds A through certain steps, which are based logically upon the principles of salesmanship. It contains: 1. The opening, which wins the reader's attention and interest, and prompts him to go farther into the letter. 2. Description and explanation, which increase his interest by picturing the proposition in his mind. 3. Proof, which convinces the reader of the quality of the article you have to sell, and shows him how other men have profited by its use. 4. Persuasion, which draws the reader to your way of thinking by showing the adaptation of the article to his needs. 5. Inducement, which gives him a particular or extra reason for buying now. 6. The climax or clincher, which makes it easy for the reader to order, and prompts him to act at once. Take these elements up one by one, and compare them with cross-sections of a good salesman's selling talk. You will be surprised to find how closely the parallelism follows and how simple a proposition it is to write a ^ good sales letter, after all, once you learn that it is merely a matter of talking to your man on paper. First, you must get the attention of the reader. You may do this in a number of ways — ^by an opening sen- tence or paragraph, for instance, that arouses his curi- osity, or by a striking statement that hits some one of his own problems, difficulties, or desires. This initial 61 Planning the sales letter The order^ getting elements in a sales letter These elements are based on the salesman's talk Getting attention HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS AtUnHon and inUrest Deseripium and txplanaiion Procf Pernuuion ^ p Inducement m Closing — climax and cUneker Dear Sir: Your Christmas tree is waiting for you out here on my farm at Kinsvale. Don't you want your evergreens and tree brought straight to your fireside from the woods? ,_^ I have a number of straight, bushy little hemlock and pine trees ranging from 3 to 8 feet in height. They willTftaJ^ splendid Christmas trees. Many smaller ones are suitable for table decoration. Wreaths will be made of hemlock. Juniper. ?SL®J®fP»f®'*' ^K^? ^S i"«^®s in diaieteV. They will be carefully and firmly woven, with plenty of cones and abundant material. You cannot buy fresher and better trees, wreaths and greenery than these. I have inquired the prices of florists and dealers in the city, and find that I can deliver them much cheaper than you can get them in town. Read the enclosed list of comparative prices. ^H^^?"* ^^^ ^^^ your Christmas mer- rier, if the wreaths, the tree, and fes- toons, are greener, less broken, fresher, and more fragrant than those cut a week earlier, and shipped into town by freight? Drive over, pick out your tree, tag it. if you wish. I»ll cut it down. I wiiralsi mount the smaller trees, if you desire, on wooden bases. Hy prices cover delivery to your door. All orders must be received by Dec. 21. Don't bother to send money. In case of my regular customers for farm prod- ?S f A.^^i!^ ^^^^ ^® charged to their month- ly accounts. Remember. I can fill only the earliest orders received. Fill in the enclosed postal order blank and mail it today. Yours truly. THE SIX ELEMENTS IN A SALES LETTER Here is an actual letter, used by a nursery man hi handling his Christmas business, that is ahnost a model in logically presenting every element of sales- manship. From the beginning that compels attention straight through to the urgent close, the reader is led step by step to a definite desire to buy. DIRECT SALES LETTERS interest on the part of the man addressed is absolutely essential to the success of the letter. No matter how well your proposition may be stated in the body of the letter, or how strong your close, your efforts will be lost if the opening does not start the man reading. Following this attention-winning opening, the good letter runs directly into the description and explanation. This part must be above all specific. Every salesman knows the value of the actual demonstration — of having his goods on the ground, so that the prospect can see and feel and understand. As a letter writer you can- not show your goods: you must depend on description. Give your man a definite idea of what you have to offer. Picture the article, its use, its advantages, so vividly that it swims before his mental eye. Proof follows logically after description. The sales- man doesn't expect the buyer to take his word for the quality of his goods; he hands out his samples for ex- amination. Then he tells how Mr. So and So in the next town has been selling or using the goods for years and has just given him another large order. Similarly, in the sales letter it is not enough to give the reader your unsupported description of the article or explanation of what it will do. You must reinforce your statements by definite proof of their truth. This you may do by some novel demonstration of the quality of the goods, or by showing the satisfaction which they have given other buyers. Persuasion intensifies the desire that has been awak- ened by the proof. Proof has demonstrated to the reader how the article has helped other men, and has thus sug- gested to him that he also may be benefited by it ; that is, proof has created a latent desire for it. Persuasion turns this latent desire into an active buying force by showing the reader definitely how the article will help him personally. Persuasion brings the article into rela- tion with his own needs and interests, just as the skilful 63 Describing the article or explaining the propo- sition Proving your statements Persuading the prospect to buy r ^i M h C" 64 HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Use of worn- out figure Too general Dirednese en- tirdy lacking No exptanation or argument Offer not clear Weak dou My dear Sir: Opportunity comes to a man's door only once. He must be prepared when it knocks at his door, and answer "ready," otherwise he is largely a failure; a drudge, trudging along daily on a mere pittance, awaiting the end, with no one but himself to blame. Get out of the rut and into a field of greater knowledge, and thus be ?repared to conmiand, yea even insure a arger income . Business men are coming to recognize the value of a better knowledge of existing conditions, of organization and systematization. The factory expert may safely without fear of contradiction be said to be the Business Adviser of today. He assists in the organizing of a business, and much if not the greater part of the success of the manufacturer must be attributed to the wisdom and grasp of the business foresight of the accountant. But it is no longer necessary for you to depend upon an outsider for help in organizing £ind conducting your business. Here is your opportunity to become an ex- pert yourself at a nominal cost. Fill out your order and get our book Just published on "Factory Orgguiization." This book has been completely rewritten Our prospectus fully eacplains the scope of the work and qualifications of the writer. Any further information desired will be cheerfully given on request. This is your only opportunity to take advantage of a special offering. Will you grasp it? Act at once! Awaiting the courtesy of a reply, we are Very truly yours. A LETTER LACKING IN DIRECTNESS AND APPEAL This letter is so full of generalities, and so lacking in personality that It entirely misses the individual appeal. The proposition offered is not mentioned until the third paragraph and then in an incidental way only. Despite the inter- rogation and exclamation points in the last paragraph, the close is weak. DIRECT SALES LETTERS 65 Uy dear Mr. Colby: This morning I received from our printers some news that I feel certain will be of interest to you. And because this is a matter of importance, may I hear from you and have the benefit of your opinion before any public announcement is made? I will receive from our printers Thursday a few advsmce copies of C. P. Watson's "Factory Organization" — a busi- ness book that I believe will save you more DOLLARS than any other book in print. We have issued no printed matter about "Factory Organization." But even a VOLUME of printed matter could not show you its value as will the book itself. I do not expect you to BUY it blindly. I merely want you to look it over at MY RISK and give me your frank opinion of it. YOU WOULD WILLINGLY RISK A DOZEN TIMES $2.00 for a SINGLE plan that would reduce your factory costs ALONE. Yet this book contains 22 money saving plans that will reduce expenses throughout your whole busi- ness — ^plans of hiring and handling em- ployees — plans that will check every leak and waste in your factory and office. Merely send for the book on approval. The $2.00 you forward will not be regarded £LS a remittance but as a deposit. And if ANY SINGLE CHAPTER alone is not worth $5.00 CASH to you, I will remit you in all $2.10 to pay you in addition for your postage. Merely pin a $2.00 bill to this letter — mail tonight if possible — and use the envelope enclosed. Yours very truly. Pereonal optti' ingarousu confident Explanalum Proof Persuaeion and explanation Proof f persuO' eion, and in' ducement. Clincher THE SAME PROPOSITION IN MAN-TO-MAN TALK Note how the book proposition in the letter on the opposite page is handled in this rewritten letter — ^as personal as a call over the phone. Proverbs and axioms are replaced by reasons why the chance to buy is worth real cash to th« particular reader every hour of his factory day. offering an inducement Making it easy to order These elements illustrated in a typical letter m HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS salesman makes his sales talk fit the individual needs of each buyer. There is another thing which the letter as well as the salesman must do — offer a specific inducement. You know how the clever salesman manipulates his talking points. Always he holds back till the last some extra reason why you should accept his proposition without delay. This is the part that inducement plays in the letter. As you hesitate, undecided whether or not to order, the shrewd sales-writer shoots at you one last advantage which he has held in reserve, and with which he hopes to induce you to act now. And, you will also recall, the salesman follows up his talk immediately by placing before you an order blank ready for your signature. He has learned the secret of making it easy to order. And that is what you, too, must do in your business-getting letter: follow up your last inducement and your **Act today'* by giving the man something to sign — a post card, a coupon, something that is ready to return. Make what he is to do so plain to him that there can be no possible misunderstanding. Say it in so many words — '*You do this and we will do that" Aim to make your climax so direct, so atrong and simple that the reader cannot resist the tMiptation to reply. To illustrate the use of this outline, take, for example, the letter on page 62, an actual business letter that was successful in selling a great many Christmas trees and wreaths by mail. Note what an analysis of its make- up reveals, how it leads step by step to its climax. Here attention is won through a striking opening assertion that must arouse the curiosity of the reader. Then the letter runs quickly into explanation. Proof is found in the frank discussion of prices and in the enclosed price list, which the reader may test for ac- curacy in his local store. The next paragraph persuades through suggesting how the goods will make Christmas DIRECT SALES LETTERS merrier. Then follows inducement in the opportunity to pick out one's tree, and the offer of a free wooden base and free delivery. Finally the climax comes in the last urgent suggestion to act at once because the number is limited. And how could ordering be made easier f ** Don't bother to send money." Simply **Fill in the enclosed postal order blank and mail it today." Of course, not all letters have the elements marked off so clearly as this, or arranged in just this order. Various combinations and proportions are employed to fit various conditions. Your choice of the form to use will depend upon your knowledge of what will win the reader's interest. But the finished letter contains, in some degree, every one of these elements. On page 64 is shown a letter which is lacking in many of the elements that make a good sales letter. On page 65 is the same letter rewritten. Another element which is sometimes called '*the whip" appears in many letters. It is generally a short paragraph usually consisting of a single line, intended to summarize pointedly what has gone before, or to whet the prospect's curiosity, or retain his interest, or surprise him with an inducement, or suggest a definite action. Some examples are: **Whyr', ''Here's the big idea.", . ''Now, what do you think of this?", "But the book is free.", "Yes, it wiU pay." (See pages 121, 122, 125). The effect of the "whip" may be either physical or psychological; that is, it may serve as a rest period between paragraphs, or urge the prospect to the action desired. Both effects are sometimes obtained in a "whip." The only sure method of learning the functions, value, and proper use of these elements, is to study each one individually. Then, with an appreciation of the effect of each upon the reader, you can buUd a balanced business letter that will bring results. 67 Note the inducement anddimax c« The whip'* Study the elemenU in thefoUotoing chapters j^it CHAPTER VII GETTING ATTENTION AND AROUSING INTEREST Arousing interest in the first few words Problem of beginning — in ttDo classes of letters **/^ET your reader safely past the first six word% xJI and his attention is yours'' — ^thus one experienced correspondent sums up the importance of the opening sentence of a sales letter. **The first few words," he continues, **whet or deaden curiosity. Judged by them, the letter is either quickly condemned to the forgotten heap beneath the desk, or else approved for further con- sideration.'' And he is right. A bad start will kill an otherwise passable sales letter. What is a bad start? It is one that does not nail attention with the first phrase, that does not turn this attention to vital, personal interest. Get attention — ^the successful beginning must first do that. But attention may be momentary, transient. It must be converted into lasting, compelling interest if you are to bring your reader into a receptive attitude toward the remainder of your letter and the proposition that it presents (page 71). The problem of getting attention and arousing in- terest varies with the two classes of sales letters : those in answer to an inquiry, and the unsolicited letter. In the first class the attention and interest of the reader are, to a certain extent, assured, and the writer's care I STARTING THE LETTER is not to kill his interest, and also to stimulate it. In the second class the attention of the reader must be se- cured and his interest aroused. For the first class a single caution will be sufficient. In answering an inquiry do not begin with a stereotyped acknowledgment of the receipt of the inquiry. You only deaden the reader's interest— you certainly cannot stimulate it— by starting out in the old common-place way: ''I have the honor to inform you," or **In reply to yours of the 18th I beg to state." There is no par- ticular honor involved in informing me and no reason on earth why a man should *'beg to state" something I have asked him. A business man told me that he got so sick of ' ' begging" letters that he fired them all into the waste- basket. Equally bad is, *'Your esteemed favor of the 15th is at hand, and in reply I would say." The begin- ning of the letter— the part from which the reader gets his first impression— is too important for such meaning- less formalities. Why not begm directly and naturally? When I write for a catalogue for example, why should a man begin his letter in reply with a preamble like this: Answering your recent favor addressed to our office, we wish to state that under separate cover we are mailing you a copy of our 1916 catalogue and trust you may find such a lamp a« you require lUustrated therein. r /«« Why not break right in : The catalogue you asked for the other day is going to you m this mail, and we are so confident that you wiU find listed in it just the kind of lamp you need that we want you to go through it very carefully. The lamps listed on pages 25 and 29\re intended ior use under such conditions as you described in your letter,— etc. What's the- difference? The first is entirely formal and impersonal. I feel that the writer has looked upon my inquiry as only one of a thousand, and that he has no particular interest in helping me to get what I want. Why, then, should I be interested in his letter t The second is direct and personal, I feel that this letter 69 Infirei class, avoid stereotyped acknowledge ments Begin directly and naiuraUy Formal vs. personal beginning / 70 A successful beffinnmg—' personal and ncUural Second class: getting atteniion by the use of the display head HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS is really written to me and that tlie writer wants to help me. Of course 1*11 read his letter. Equally successful are the following : We are pleased to get your request for information about our improved gas range, and a copy of our catalogue goes forward by today ^a mail. Your attrition is particularly called to the descriptive matter on pages 3 to 9 inclusive, — etc. And also: The catalogue for which you wrote is too large to enclose with this letter, and so you will get it in another envelope. You will find on page 4 a complete description of the 1916 Model, Smith Calculator, — etc. These are direct and personal, and lead the reader naturally into the description of the article. In letters of the second class — the unsolicited sales letters — some successful writers hegin with a display head, consisting of a short phrase or sentence, printed in capitals or underlined, thus: CUT YOUR COAL BILLS IN HALF. THIS MEANS MONEY TO YOU— BIG MONEY. FIRE TWO OF YOUR CLERKS. STARTING THE LETTER 71 This plan is based upon successful advertising prac- tice. It is to a sales letter what a catch-line is to an advertisement. You summarize the most striking feature of your proposition in the smallest possible number of words, and hurl them at your prospective buyer with all the emphasis at your command. An admirable example of this scheme was the letter of a magazine publisher addressed to subscribers from whom renewals of subscriptions were being solicited. The letter opened with the single word— ** EXPIRED !' ' Very few of those who received that letter failed to read further to learn who, or what, had expired. The advantage of the display-line opening is that it ^j -.- virtually compels the reader to continue into the second display head paragraph of your letter. Used with discretion, the idea is excellent. It makes the reader sit up. The human Advantages of the Dear Mr. Burke: You wouldn't think of throwing away your fountain pen simply be- cause the ink is exhausted. Then why throw away your worn duplicating machine ribbons? We can re-ink them as well as you can fill your fountain pen. If you will examine one of your apparently worthless ribbons, you will find that the fabric is scarce- ly worn at all. We take these, treat them with our special process, re- fill them with ink, and return them to you practically new ribbons and for only one-half the cost. Re^ the enclosed folder — it explains- our proposition fully. But a trial will convince you. And the sooner you send them, the more money you'll save. Why not pack them up, put on the enclosed shipping label, and send them along right now? Yours very truly. Attention IniereHand explanation Froofand explanation Proofs persuth Mvon^ and inducement Clincher TWO WAYS OF WINNING ATTENTION In this sales letter all the elements of salesmanship are present, yet th^ are so cleverly interwoven that the letter stands, first of all, as a unit. Attention is won through a combination of two methods of opening a letter — ^use of the word *'you" and a direct unusual statement 1 '[ mi n P$ychoiogy of the display head Disadvan- tages of the display head The 'Hrritating*' display head HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS mind is so constructed that it requires a positive and conscious mental effort to turn aside from any thing which has aroused curiosity. The normal operation of the mind is to satisfy that curiosity, even though the reader's cold reason tells him that he is not likely to be interested. One disadvantage, in the opinion of some correspond- ents, is that the display head suggests a form letter. These writers prefer some other method which gives them an opportunity at the beginning to give their letter more of the tone of a personal communication. Another danger is that this spectacular device may arouse a degree of attention which the merit of your proposition does not justify. This style of opening is like the catch-line of an advertisement or the head line of a newspaper article. The ad-writer who shrieks "Prices Slaughtered'' and then lists staple goods at pre- vailing prices misses fire. The newspaper which habitu- ally employs lurid headlines and six-inch type to set forth the ordinary doings of a dull day has nothing in reserve when an event warranting the spread eagle scream line occurs. The method is one to use sparingly, and only when other means f aiL The display head which is intended to secure atten- tion by ** irritating" the reader is especially dangerous. However, it is sometimes used with good effect. Here ia an example from a letter written by a collection agency. This concern had a series of form letters dedgned to facilitate collections, and the circular letter through which it brought the proposition to the attention of pos- sible clients opened : ''YOU DO NOT PAY YOUR BILLS PROJ^IPTLY, SIR!" Naturally, the man who received such a slap in the face did not toss the letter aside without learning more, and when he did read on, he found that he had no reason STARTING THE LETTER to be offended. The letter was written, not to the man who did not pay his debts, but to firms whose business it was to deal with such men ; and it hit upon the problem that they were constantly trying to solve. But this ** irritating" device must be used with caution. It does impel the reader to go further into the letter, but in the hands of an inexperienced or un- tactful writer, it is likely to arouse resentment that the remainder of the letter will not remove, no matter how attractive a proposition it presents. If you feel that you must employ this means to get a man ^s attention, be sure that you remove the sting before you close the letter. Prejudiced readers are not often buyers. Some writers use a modified form of the display head. Their first sentence is short and emphatic, but it is not in capitals or underlined. It is made a part of the body of the letter. Here are some examples : *' Pay-day — ^what does it mean to you?" "Does your money *go 'round'? Or does it fail to stop all the gaps made by last week's bills?" "You've got to have more money!" This method has most of the appeal of the complete display head without the latter 's suggestion of the "Yel- low Journal" What form is best for this short opening sentence, used either as a regular display head or incorporated in the body of the letter ? Some writers prefer the direct command, others the question, and still others the declarative form. The direct command demands atten- tion, but may easily be made too peremptory and dicta- torial. The question is more intimate; it suggests a greater degree of personal interest in the reader's needs. The declarative form is perhaps more natural than either of the others, but ^ *^® opinion of some correspondentar, is less forceful. All have been used successfully. The choice will depend upon the inclination of the individual writer. 73 This form is to be used^ withcatdiom A modeled type of display head ThebeH form for the introductory senience 74 The differ' ence between getting atteu' iion and arousing interest Combining the attention and interest- getting features Arousing interest: specific methods HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Thus far we have been discussing one function of the beginning of a sales letter— getting attention. But, as we learned in the first part of this chapter, the begin- ning must do more. It is easy enough to attract atten- tion; the rub comes when you endeavor to vitalize that attention into personal, undivided interest. The first is often only a trick of words. Cry **Stop!'' and every man within hearing will turn to your call. But the next word uttered must make its personal appeal or the atten- tion gained is lost And attention lost is a double loss, for a man once tricked into pausing to hear something of no interest will not be tricked again. Hence, the means employed for getting attention in a letter must either be followed up by some method of arousing interest, or be combined with it. Many cor- respondents prefer to combine the two elements. They dispense with the special attehtion-getting device — ^the display head or the short, pithy opening sentence — and start in directly with some subject of interest to the pro- spective buyer. They aim to secure attention and arouse interest at the same time. Note how effectively this method is used in the following letter addressed to bankers: Bear Mr. Hunt: There 's a bank here in Chicago — not mnch larger than yonrs — that secured over 280 new savings depositors last month! And secured them, mind you, on the sole strength of business-getting circular letters — ^without the aid of a single personal solicitor. That's why this letter is as vital to you as though it were a certified check. For it tells about, — etc. Such a letter gives greater opportunity for an easy personal beginning, and has less suggestion of the form letter than one starting with a display head. Let us turn now to specific methods for arousing in- terest. These methods are numberless, and only a few illustrations can be given here. They will suggest others which will meet the needs of any partioular business. Sometimes they are used in connection with the display head; sometimes they dispense with it. STARTING THE LETTER 75 Dear Mr. Benson: You believe in protecting your home from fire, don't you? But how about pro- tecting it from the other elements? The "next time it rains, your roof may leak, your ceilings may be water-soaxed. and some of the choicest and most valued con- tents of your home damaged beyond repair. You have often seen poorly constructed roofs allowing the rain to beat in. But it isn't necessary for you to run this risK. For at no more than what ordinary roofs cost, you can get absolute protection --in Flintoid. Here is a roofing that will with- stand year in and year out the most severe weather conditions. Flintoid is made of the very best of raw materials. It is laid in three layers over the entire surface. Over that goes a red coating that is absolutely unaffected by heat. cold, or dampness. Just sit down for a moment and figure up how long it has been since your roof was put on. Can you trust longer to its doubt- ful protective qualities? Flintoid can be laid right over the old roof, as the book- let shows. The cost includes nails and cement — and we pay the freight. Simply fill in the dimensions of your roof on the enclosed order blank, sign and nail today. Very truly yours. Intimate question tdna aUfntion Interest and persuasion Persuasion and explanation ExphmaHem Perstiasiont explanation, and inducement CUneker HOLDING INTEREST TO THE END This letter is a good example of interest won and held from beginning to end. Almost every paragraph contains explanation, cleverly combined with other elements. The proof is given in the enclosed booklet; convincing persuasion appears in three paragraphs; and inducement follows. I I 76 The human interest story: Us universal appeal Using human interest in a later to mothers Note the mingling of humor and sympathy HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS A common device is the ''human interest story*'— one dealing with primitive passions, the incidents of which are common experiences. Your wash-woman and the heiress at boarding school, your office boy and the director of a great railway, are equally, though perhaps differently, affected by it. It deals with fundamentals. It ignores non-essentials. Human interest it is which packs the playhouse, which makes possible a penny press, which sells millions of magazines. Properly handled, it may be made the basis of nine-tenths of your successful sales letters. Let us suppose we are writing to a woman on the subject of boy's clothing. As this is a subject which lends itself readily to the display line opening described in the first part of this chapter, we will use it, thus : Dear Mrs. Myers: ABOUT THAT BOY OF YOURS— We have her attention ; of that there can be no doubt, for the boy is the most interesting subject in the world to his mother, whether he be an effeminate little book- worm or the neighborhood terror. Now what statement can we next make to turn that attention into interest and lead naturally to our proposition ? What little fact of human nature will open her mind, enlist her sym- pathy, gain her confidence, and bring her to look at our proposition from the right standpoint? •* i?®4? ^^^^S ** *^*« age ^hen his spirit of manliness asserts Itself. You find him imitating his father's manners— he is using your embroidery scissors to shave with— he is no longer ambitious to be a policeman, but has hia eye on the Presidency. Among the serious problems with him today is this: he is beginning to want ma^y, square-cut, ''grown-up'' clothes. He is no longer satisfied with ordinary boys clothes. He wants something * ' like father 's. ' ' This is human interest. We touch upon that pathet- ically humorous period of transf onnation between child- ' hood and youth in order that we may bring our reader to approach the subject of her boy's clothes from the boy's own viewpoint. STARTING THE LETTEE TT Again, a maker of eye-wash might say : Dear Sir: Trouble with your eyesf Ten thousand people went blind last year in New York State alone. Over 1,000,000 pairs of eye-glasses were sold. Are your eyes in danger! Here we appeal to fear. A letter with the following opening paragraph was sent out by a retail meat market : Dear Sir: Some evening when you feel as though nothing would please you more than a nice thick steak or a couple of choice chops, drop around to THE T & G, and you'll be able to take home a steak or chops that will make your mouth water when they come from the griddle. An appeal to the palate — a suggestion of an appetiz- ing dinner — ^this will interest most of us. Similarly appeals to health may form the basis of interest in letters written by makers of patent medi- cines. Clothing and shoe houses may appeal to comfort and style ; business schools to ambition ; and so on with the countless other universal human tastes and instincts. The news story is another means of arousing interest. The opening of the Panama Canal, the Great War, some bit of local news or trade news — ^all these are points of contact with the reader's interest. For an example we may take a letter written by a manufacturer of an elec- trie motor-controUing device: Dear Sir: I was on board the U. S. Monitor "Florida" when she was hit by a Whitehead torpedo containing 200 pounds of gun cotton. **A ticklish position,'* you sayt Not at all. The water-tight compartments of the "Florida" are controlled by Ajax Automatic Switches. When the torpedo hit us, the Ajax Automatic closed the bulkheads. I felt entirely safe and secure because I knew the Ajaz would not fail. The writer referred to a subject that had had wide publicity. He added a bit of personal experience, gave his readers some of the inside history of an important event.* * This subject of the news story is treated more fuUy in a separate chapter. See Chapter XIV. An appeal ta fear u al" ways strong An appeal to the appetite Varioui human' interest appeals The news story: it gives the air of heina up'tO'date ^i' ' 78 Comparing the reader toith other people in similar cir- cumstances Reaching the reader by touching on one of his vexing problems This tailor used this idea effectively HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Again, the experiences of other people placed in cir- cumstances similar to yours, are always interesting. Fol- lowing are two examples : You and Mason ought to compare notes. fi* ^wi ^^.^°° ^^® "^®^ *^® ^®^ ^^^^ Herald, the Kansas City Btar, The Cincinnati Enquirer, and a hundred or more other news- papers, weeklies, and magazines for years, and it would be a big r fta yo^ " you could get together with him and go over h& Similarly : Would you like to know what B. H. Aishton, vice-president and general manager of the Chicago and Northwestern Railroad- ex- Governor Chas. S. Deneen; Dr. John DUl Robertson; Jos. E. Otis, vice-president of the Central Trust Co.; Edgar A. Bancroft, gen- eral counsel for the International Harvester Co.; and a nimber of other prominent Chicago men are doing to keep themselves in fighting tnm, both mentally and physically, every day! Finally, there is no more effective appeal to interest than one that touches upon some special problem or diflfi- culty that confronts the reader in his own business, or private life. This beginning gets the interest of the employing printer by summarizing many of his troubles : •* ^J^ ^°^^ P^®^ feeders always showed up on Monday morning; If they were never late, never got tired, never became careless, never grumbled about working overtime—you would increase the output of your plant, have less trouble, make more money. That 18 why you will be interested in the SpeedweU Automatic feeding attachment ^ This is the beginning of a letter sent out by a tailor: With the incoming of the warm weather, you face the prospect % }T^?}^ ^®^P ^^^ '^^ ^^ °«^* eighteen weeks. You already w 11^ ^'''* ^J''^?, wearing is much too heavy, and realize how much more comfortable you would feel in one of lighter weight. This letter presents a problem which is in the proa- pect's mind, and thus wins his interest Then the writer continues with a description of the cool summer fabrics which he has for sale. The following letter was written by a manufacturer of washing machines: Dear Madam: Why do you continue the old-fashioned, back-breaking method of washing clothes, when the HORTON ELECTRIC will save aU that hard work and bother! STARTING THE LETTER The HORTON is not expensive— you can better afford it than sacrifice your health and strength over the washtub. Or if you have a wash-woman, the HORTON will save two-thirds of her time, which she can give to your other work, — etc. Here the writer gets attention by suggesting a solu- tion for the most vexing problem of the housewife— the Monday washing. There are, of course, any number of other ways to create real interest— the kind of interest that will carry the reader through your descriptive paragraphs and lead him to the favorable consideration of your proposi- tion (page 75). Appeals to the pocket, to business or personal needs, to any one of the thousand matters that engage the interest of the normal man — all these are available. The field from which you may select is as broad as human nature itself, and as varied. But whatever method you choose, be sure that your appeal is to the reader's interest. The common error is to ramble along on a subject which is of interest to yourself, not to your prospective customer. Don't begin your letter by talking about yourself, your company, your business, your growth, your newly invested capital. The reader has not the faintest interest in you or your business, until he can see some connec- tion between it and his own welfare. By itself it makes no play whatever to his attention : it must first be coupled up with his problems and needs. Begin by talking about him, his company, his busi- ness, his needs, his ambition. Touch upon some vital need in his business— some tangle that is worrying him — some cherished ambition that haunts him— and you will have his interest.* We have now examined various specific means for arousing the interest of the reader. Sometimes, however, interest is secured without the use of such devices. This is especially true of letters written to progressive busi- *For further discussion of the "You Element'' in its rela- tion to the whole letter, see Chapter XVI. 79 A problem of the housewife is solved fiere Be sure that the appeal is to the read- er's interest — not yours Talk about his needs and problems 80 Letters which need no special device for aroueing interest A trade letter to a man in the trade Conclusion HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS ness men on matters concerning the conduct of their business. Such men are ready and eager to take ad- vantage of every improvement; they watch closely every new development in their field. In writing to an alert manufacturer, for example, about a new machine, a new attachment for use on his product, or even a staple material, immediate interest can be gained by bringing to his notice at once your leading point of superiority and explaining it tersely and attractively. If you are writing to an electric light man on the subject of a new incandescent lamp for use on his lines, get right down to cases: Dear Sir: An efficiency of one watt per candle is guaranteed for the Hilight Lamps, which efficiency is maintained through a guaran- teed life of 1,000 hours. The attached report of tests by the Electrical Testing Labora- tories will give you exact, detailed and unprejudiced information on this new unit, — etc. In letters of this sort the reader's interest is secured by strong explanation or description without the aid of special devices. Whether or not this method shall be used in any given letter will depend upon the nature of the proposition and the class of readers. But however interest is aroused, it must be there, in order that the reader may be induced to continue into the descriptive paragraphs. CHAPTER Vlir EXPLANATION-DESCRIBING THE PRODUCT i you have attracted attention ; you have won interest- articr^^^hir^^ ir P^^P^^^i^^ ^r describe you; easy. All one has to do is to tell about the goods - This sounds easy, does it not? One ha^ but to pro- duce a word-picture of a definite object or explain teiS a ervice which he offeiu Yet there is no ability C^ rare than that of translating a concrete article into words so that the reader can see that article vividly Before you can make the reader see the article you anl \T^% ''' '"'^^^' ''^ ^^^ ^' ^' from every evetnaS t '^ ^"^^^^^^^^ ^^il you understand every part. See how it works, just what it will do But IZl^LT!: "^f '^r'^^ ^'^^ ^"^^^« «f information. iUs and . .""^ 'r^ ^^^^* *^^ ^^ ^^*^^i-l^ what t IS, and how It IS obtained. Then trace this material through the factory go in per^n if possible-and S ten. TT "'f ^"^ '^' "^'^'^ ^^ *^e interesting steps m IS manufacture. All this will give you vivid detail hich will make your description'lifeSe anj tion all the details thus gathered, but every one of them Description is a difficult art First, study your article or proposition thoroughly U' 82 HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Select your details caresfuUy For articles oj common use, concen- trate on points of superiority ThU letter emphasizes one feature helps to give you a complete picture of the article. With- out such a thorough knowledge, effective description is impossible. You cannot make your reader see the article vividly, if you yourself see it vaguely. You are now ready to begin your description. First, you must decide on what points to select from among the many that you have learned. The amount of detail that you need will depend upon the extent of the knowl- edge which you may presume your reader to have of the article. If you are selling something with which the reader may be expected to be fairly familiar, you will naturally slteht the commonly known details and concentrate on points of superiority, or on essentials. (In letters written to dealers about articles closely connected with their line of business, little detail is used. It is in such letters that description is found in its simplest form. Indeed, if the article is a staple, no actual description is usually needed ; a special low price or some other special advantage in buying is the only point that is emphasized.) If you are seUing a fountain pen, you will not need to describe the general construction or explain the principle of opera- tion You will perhaps tell ineidentaUy about the good material used in it, ite good writing qualities, etc.— the features that it has in common with other good pens- but you will emphasize the distinctive points of superi- ority One firm builds its description about a bent feed- stock which insures against leaking. Another dwells particularly upon an improved self-fiUing device. Also in the following letter, notice how the manu- facturer of a widely advertised breakfast food empha- sizes one essential point-the quality of the bran-in sell- ing orders by mail to retail grocers: Morning Feast is made of a special soft white 'J?"^ ™»«^ *J a pr"ess stoilar to that which is used f, "j^'^S^t^'^^h^e bran tLX /, :- ;i^i;/.;««a Moat bran is hard and gntty. ine ur»u a process similar to xn&i wmcu u. uo^^ "%^r^ ^*tv The bran rpiJl fl«vnr ia delicious. Most bran is hard and gntty. ine urau EXPLANATION AND DESCRIPTION On the other hand, if you are introducing a new article or are writing to people who you think know little about the goods you are selling, you must use more detail-you must describe the construction more fully and show with greater minuteness how the article works *or example: ♦nrJ^'TfH"*^* sweeper has a number of new and novel fea- ^^\ i"^' ' positive-driven, self acting brush which Is acta- suction ' ''^'^ '"^ "^ '="P'^'*y '^^ " exceptlonaUy powerful ■uUe^heTel^^t-i^atXr' "^ •""" "' '"^^-^ ^ ^^t.T^epa^^^Z^,t^^J* th. machine it in a 32S by itoeU. ^^^*""^ improvements which Vut fact that It was written, not to dealers, but to prospect- ive users who were, presumably, not very familiar with electric sweepers. v„„^»."^'Tl*''' f^"*'**^ P°'"** ^^'^ y^ description you should look at the proposition from the user's stand- point and present it in its final relation to that user A clever haberdasher never shows a scarf in the box." He takes it out and with a deft twist forms a four-in- hand oyer his finger, and the customer not only sees the ^^-'^J°^^\^^<^y% and the play of light over the U 'mi'T^^''''* sees it in its relation to himself as It wUl look when worn. This should also be the ikea fh ^*?" fr '^*"'" "* ''^^ «« «»e salesman-to show the goods m their relation to the customer 88 More detail u needed for lessfamihar articles Choose your details from the reader's tieiepoint 84 Two examples of talcing the reader^s point of view Choose details that mil interest your particular class of readers Some examples HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS A salt manufacturer carries out this idea: You know how ordinary table salt refuses to sift in ^^P weather, and when dry, cakes in the saltcellars like adamant. Our Xis dways dry and flaky, and it flowa freely on the danapest ^y. It dois not corrode the metal top of a saltcellar as other salt often does in a moist atmosphere. And a maker of underwear also strikes home : Crown underwear lets your body breathe. A continuous cur- rent of fresh air passes through the holes in the fabric, cooling, cleaning, and stimulating the pores of the skin. Such description wins interest and even arouses de- sire because the reader feels its relation to himself. Moreover, the points to be emphasized should be chosen with reference to the class of readers to whom you are writing. In the case of articles of such general use as the two represented above, the interests of all readers wiU be practically identical. For many articles, how- ever, the points of interest will vary according to the needs of different classes of users. For instance, a gasoline engine has certain features that appeal to the farmer, others that make it suitable for the man who wants to use it in an automobile. In writing to the first class you will dwell especially on such points as its adaptability to pumping water and grinding feed ; in a letter to the other you will emphasize its com- pactness, lightness, and the speed which it will develop. Again, suppose you are selling motor boats. For the father of several small children who wants a boat for family use at his summer house, safety is the important consideration. For the young man with racing proclivi- ties, speed is the prime requisite. The writer of success- fiU sales descriptions will keep these differences in mind, and adapt his descriptions to the particular class of readers to whom he is writing. Make the description specific. Vague generalities like **the best on earth,'* ** above competition," and ** secret process of manufacture'' carry no conviction. Avoid extravagances, vain claims, and superlatives. It Make the description specific: generalities mean nothing EXPLANATION AND DESCRIPTION 85 may be true that your product is the ''best on earth," but it will take a good presentation of that fact or a specific explanation of at least one point of superiority to make a stranger believe it. See the difference be- tween these two descriptions: This tobacco ia absolutely without question the finest smoking tobacco on the market today. This statement will be substantiated by tens of thousands of smokers. Compare with : To appreciate the difference between Royal Mixture and the ^ general "others,'' just put a little of it on a sheet of white paper by the j^^f,j,ir)tion side of a pinch from a package of any other smoking tobacco aescripiwn manufactured. You won't need a microscope to see the difference maae in quality. Smoke a pipeful, and you wiU quickly notice how specvfic different in mellowness, richness and natural flavor Eoyal Mixture is from the store-bought kind. ... Eoyal Mixture is all pure tobacco, and the cleanest, best- cured and finest leaf that the famous Piedmont section of North Carolina can produce. The following is another example of weak descrip- tion. It is not, however, so hopelessly general as the first one cited above, for it has some specific detail : Buy our hams once, and you will buy them always. All our meat is from young hogs, and is not tough, but is high grade. Nothing but corn-fed stock is used. We guarantee the quality. We use good sugar in curing our hams, the best quality of salt- peter, and some salt. The result is a natural flavor that can 't be beat. We challenge competition. But compare it with the same description rewritten with a wealth of concrete details : This trade-mark certifies that the hog came f lom good stock— that it was corn-fed in order that it might be firm and sweet— AjiQiJi^f that it was a barrow hog, so that the meat would be full-flavored i and juicy— that it was a young hog, making the ham thin-skinned example and tender — that it was well-conditioned and fat, insuring the lean of the ham to be tasty and nutritious. The mark certifies that the ham was cured in a liquor nearly good enough to drink, made of granulated sugar, pure saltpeter, and only a very little salt; this brings out all the fine, rich, natural flavor of the care- fully selected meat, and preserves it without salty pickling. Clothe your description in attractive and original phraseology. Avoid worn-out, colorless expressions ; seek for those that are new and striking. For example, two writers, in letters selling acetylene gas plants, wish to < 86 Use attractive and original phraseology A new way to express an old idea i : i A "rtfresh- ing" descrip- tion mi HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS explain that the gas is harmless. One makes the obvious and commonplace statement: ** Acetylene gas is harm- less, and may be breathed without injury." The other is more original; he writes: Tour home paper win print your obituary in the next issue— rf you ever ''blow out the gas'' when you visit your cousin in the city. But when your city cousin comes to your country home, he SV'iaThe' it aTnighf'^^^ ^ ^^'^ *°^ '' "^^ '* ^"^ ^^ * ^'* Which statement drives home the point ? Which is more likely to make you buy 1 Again take so simple a tool as a tap. All one can say about it, apparently, is that it is well made of the best steel, and carefully tempered. Everybody who ever wrote a letter on these tools said the same thing in the same words, until a New England manufacturer tried his hand. In describing the goods he said : You could forge' a first class razor from one of our taps, and the razor would cut smooth and clean for the same reason that the tap does— 'twould have the right stuff in it He does not say that his tap is made from razor steel (that would be commonplace), but that you could make a razor from one of his taps (this is distinctive). And then instead of a lot of hackneyed phrases designed to convince the reader that this steel is the best on earth, he states succinctly that his tap has ''the right stuff in it. " He simply takes a fresh viewpoint— has the courage to use unexpected words. Likewise, a real estate promoter might have said: ''This suburb is supplied with pure, cold water from a spring.*' Instead, this promoter wrote: Prwh Spring Water, so pure and delicious that it is bottled and sold, is piped through aU the streets. Just think of that aj compared with having to buy your table water, or to drink Croton water unsatisfactorily filtered! Sometimes whole paragraphs of description may be crystallized into a single suggestion of comparison ; thus : The Bell refrigerator is as finely finished as the most expensive piano. ^ EXPLANATION AND DESCRIPTION A furniture maker ^ves me a distinct impression of the quality of his goods when he says : There is as much difference between the oak used in ordinary furniture and the selected quarter-sawed white oak we use in ours, as there is between laundry soap and a cake of scented Pears. And still another puts a wealth of suggestion into his letter by saying: Nothing will effectually take the place of the good old cedar chest, with its clean, sweet, pungent aroma so dear to the heart of the old-fashioned housewife. 87 Effective description by means of suggestion Value of descriptive enclosures Sometimes descriptive enclosures, such as circulars, leaflets, sheets of specifications, and samples, are used to help in describing the article. Samples are always a valuable aid to description: they enable the reader actually to see and handle parts of the article. Wher- ever possible, all these enclosures should be small enough to enclose in the same envelope with the letter, for then the reader can refer to them while the interest aroused by the letter is at its height. Frequently, most of the description is given in a cir- cular or leaflet. Indeed, when the description is com- plicated and requires many details, it should always be placed there, and not in the letter itself. Then an illus- tration or diagram may be used to give a more definite picture. But even when this is done, the letter should describe briefly one or two of the more important features of the article, and should definitely call the attention of the reader to the circular. In your letter concentrate on getting the reader interested in these essential pointa Do that, and you may depend upon his going to the cir- cular for details. Finally, it must be remembered that the object of Conclusum every sales-letter description is to make the reader both understand and desire the goods. It is not enough merely to tell about what you have for sale. You must tell it in a sales-making manner. Make the reader see the article clearly, and make him see it in relation to his needs. CHAPTER IX PROVING YOUR CLAIMS Every sales claim in a letter must he proved A free trial is convincing proof I T IS a principle in law that a man is innocent until * proved ^Ity. It is a principle in business that a sales claim is false or exaggerated until it is proved con- servative and true. In either event, the work of proving a case is a hard one, and caUs for keen thought and a wide knowledge of human nature. Cold, hard logic, and cold, hard facts— these alone will win. **Brag" and rash claims will spell failure. When you have explained your proposition in a sales letter, you must prove your words. It is not enough to express your own personal convictions; it is not enough to give hearsay evidence or second-hand testimonials. You must prove your claims, and quickly. Of course, many times the only way to prove that an article is all that you say it is, is for me to get it and try It. Suppose I am thinking of buying a mattress and the dealer writes to me : fnrth^^n^*"r^ ""? ?T/ °'^*' P*^^» ««* ^a^d w lumpy, and IT^TT' '\'^ ,f ^solutely non-absorbent, dust-proof, vermL. proof, and practically un-wear-out-able. r , uxxu Now if all this is true, that is the kind of mattress I want ; and to prove to me that these claims are true, the writer goes on to say : ARGUMENT AND PROOF ^Uemember, we seU on the complete understanding that if the mattress is not perfectly satisfactory, it can be retwned at our expense, and your money wiU be promptly refunded. I reason instantly that if the writer of that letter wasn^t able to prove his arguments by delivering the goods as exploited, he would never dare to make an offer like this. I know from experience that a plain, hard-hitting talk like this means truth. Similar proof is offered in the following : «,a^?no''**i* *?^ *H* because the price is small, my cigars are ri .nJt''^^?K ""^ i^^^'^P ^^^''*»- ^^^«^ a sample 100, cut Tln7in %°n *^r !j;o"^ end to end, and if the leaves are not all good long filler, I will refund your money. A maker of refrigerators proves that his goods are quality stock, too, when he says: If I could only take you through our factory so you could see what goes into the ''Morton^' and how it is put in~tiie care and l^ZZfff.-l'rf' ^ l^'llS^^^'or that wil?last a Uf et me! you would not hesitate to make the investment. ^ This is not absolute proof, but it is convincing, for It makes the reader feel that the manufacturer is willing to have him come to the factory, and he is therefore ready to believe that if he did go, he would find the con- ditions just as described. A varnish manufacturer sends along a sample panel finished with his varnish, and writes: 89 Money hack if trial is UH' satisfactory An indirect proof Give this panel the most thorough test possible—stamD on it You IT^fZf'fu^ ^.^ " ^r^^V '^^^^ hold VS'Z light h^n^t b^n%*rtkeT'"^' ^'" '^^^ ''**°*^' *^« ^''^' *^« ---^ A paper manufacturer is even more successful when he says: Yon can prove the excellence of our word in a second- in«f D^^^se^tT/tL^"^. ^^^ '^"^^'^ *^«° ^^ a comer off ^e of* your C^o^*^You fiLT ^1" ^^y'^S glaas and exaUe Ch J'o™ sIsTibJrie^t! woo V^ ^'^^^'^-^'^ «""' -^^« - The man who reads this learns something new about paper. He learns how to judge it intelligently-and in doing this, he learns what the writer wished him to know about his bond. Proof furnished hy samples enclosed HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Proefwitu atUntionand itiUrest Pertutuionr-' wUnimum cost I f ,. Pernuuion — opportunity pwturti Dear Mr. Hunt: There's a bank here in Chicago — not much larger than yours — that secured over 280 new savings depositors last month 1 And secured them, mind you, on the sole strength of business-getting circular letters — without the aid of a single per- sonal solicitor. That's why this letter is as vital to you as though it were a cer- tified check. For it tells about a concise, WONDERFULLY PRACTICAL little book that will show you how to write the same kind of letters that brought this business for the Chicago bank — and how you cam get this same book for less than you often pay for a mere hajidful of good cigars. Think of the hundreds of money, earners — the thrifty, ambitious young men and women, right in your own immediate locality — who ought to open up savings accounts. If you had them all together in your private office — where you could talk to them as man to man — it would -be no trick to secure a big proportion of them. MAKING YOUR LETTER CONVINCE THE PROSPECT In this strong and convincing letter persuasion and proof prevail from the opening sentence through to the clinching close. The letter talks straight out, like a salesman on the firing-line. Proof is offered at the start, and interest held largely by showing how somebody else has solved your problem. By looking into ::hi|i ARGUMENT AND PROOF Of course, you can't do this. But why not do as the Royal Trust Company did? Why not go to THEM? Why not put before them the strong advantages your bank offers, through sincere, heart-to-heart, straight- from-the-shoulder letters — '• letters that breathe the same ENTHUSIASM, the same earnestness and personality that you yourself would use in a personal talk? That is just what this book will show you how to do, because it gives you plain, simple, practical ints on the every-day use of words and live vital principles underlying the art of convincing writing. And mind you, this banker's collection course in business English •— boiled down to pigeon-hole size — costs less than a couple of the- atre tickets. $2 brings the book to your own desk — and if you do not feel that it is worth at least half a dozen times this amount, you can have your money back for the Sf?f}"?- Simply wrap a two dollar Dill in this letter and mail today. Yours very truly. m 91 Proof and pernuaion Method explained ExplancAion Indtu^ment and proof Clindur II the problem from the reader's point of view, the writer arouses interest^ and drives home his argument with conviction. When proof, persuasion, explanation and inducement are combined with the sincerity and enthusiasm apparent in this letter, the prospect is carried word by word to the end of what at first may look like a lengthy communication. This letter waa unusually successful in bringing in business for a publishing house. 92 Simple testa suggested as proof Proof by reference to authorities Scientific proof HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Similarly, a paint manufacturer encloses with his sales letter a small folder showing how to test the purity of paint; a clothing manufacturer explains how to dis- tinguish all-wool goods from the half-cotton product offered in substitution; a maker of acetylene gas light- ing outfits proves the simplicity and safety of this gas — which is popularly supposed to be dangerous in the ex- treme — ^by describing how anyone may make acetylene gas with an ordinary tumbler and common clay pipe. Such proof, sometimes applied in a most indirect man- ner, is wholly convincing. Not the least part of its value lies in the fact that it is instructive. The reader feels that he is learning a trick of the other man*s trade. Another simple expedient is referring for corrobora- tion to standard works of reference, to friends of the reader, or to specialists in any line. **As any chemist will tell you,'* is effective. Or we may say: ** Consult your banker as to the solid value of these bonds : he may have others he would prefer to sell you, but he will not fail to endorse these.'* Nine times in ten the reader will never carry the matter further; he accepts your state- ment merely because you are willing he should take dis- interested advice. A well-known glass company which manufactures scientific reflectors for all classes of interior lighting uses photometric curves, prepared by the most eminent inde- pendent authority, to establish its claims. Perhaps not half of those who receive this evidence are able to read or understand a photometric curve, but the very fact that impartial evidence is offered as proof iS enough to win the prospective customer's confidence. Direct and complete testimonials are also strong proof, but the use of these by patent medicine adver- tisers, and the numerous stories current as to the trickery and unfair means used to secure them, make the testi- monial a two-edged weapon which must be handled skil- fully to be effective. t* : ' ARGUMENT AND PROOF 93 A testimonial in which names and addresses are omitted is prima facie evidence of insincerity— or worse. For instance, the writer who refers to "A well-known lawyer in this city, whose name we are not permitted to use " invites suspicion. On the other hand, '*'John Hays Smith, publisher of the Age, 138 West 42nd St., New York, says:" is sincere. **We are permitted to quote the following from a letter by Mrs. Albert Ross, president of the Woman's League, 462 Woodward Ave., Detroit," rings true. The name should be well known ; the title, if any, expressed at length ; the addresses given in full. Also the testimonial that carries conviction must be specific in its statements. One that merely says, *'I am very much pleased with your machine, ' ' has little weight ; but one that testifies, *'By installing your system of lighting, we saved a thousand dollars in one year," gives convincing evidence of value. Similar to the testimonial is the reference to an order from a prominent firm. The announcement that ** Marshall Field & Company have just purchased twenty-five more of our adding machines," backs up the quality of the goods with all of that firm's reputation for using efficient equipment. Another variation of the direct testimonial is the list of satisfied users. Such a list, especially if it is made up of names of well-known people, is valuable proof. Obviously, some kinds of proof cannot be made a part of the letter itself. Long testimonials, or a number of them, extensive citations of expert opinion, or any device that requires much space should be given in an enclosed circular or leaflet. When this is done, how- ever, the letter itself should be connected up with the enclosure by definite reference to the most important points. , J. 1 XX Finally, one of the best proofs of the truth of a letter is the tone of sincerity which pervades it. A letter will Testi^ menials: their use and misuse I Modified forms of testimonials Proof presented in enclosures Ill A tone of nncerUy U ayaluable aid to proof Cause of insincerUy intone The remedy: how to make your letter sincere HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS get returns if it is sincere, and these returns wiU be permanent. But a letter of half-truths, a letter which betrays your unbelief or evidences your effort to befoir or mislead your reader, will produce nothing but trouble It may bring results, but not the kind of resulte that 90 and 91 is the kind that brings the results a firm do^^ want. Lack of sincerity in a letter does not necessarily arirue dishonesty in the writer. Rather, it indicates a wronL point of view toward the trade. We form the habit of Taewing our customers in the mass instead of as in- dividuals. In the petty annoyances of daUy detail we grow impatient of their seeming stupidity, their m'ean- nes^ their constant complaints, their attempt* to take small advantages. And then, when we sit down to write a letter, we address a composite being having Hiese un- welcome characteristics. For myself, the only sure guide for writing a sincere and effectave letter is to picture it as going to some shrewd kindly, wise, David Harum sort of individual wh<«e keen insight tests every word and statement by the light of long experience. I know that evasions and twisted half-truths will not escape the eye of that man Try this plan for yourself. Think of this man as youwntft Try to convince him. And as you hope to do that, make your letter sincere. Be honest Be frank. Be straightforward-above-board-guileless. Prom the date-line at the top of your letter to the stenographer's hieroglyphics at the bottom, let every word, phrase, sen- tence, and paragraph impress your reader as beins whoUy and unreservedly "on the level" CHAPTER X PERSUADING THE PROSPECT TO BUY You have now given proof of the qualify of your article and of the benefit which other men have derived from owning it and using it. This, however, is not enough to make the reader feel that he ought to own it Suppose, for example, that you are trying to seU him an automatic revolver. He may agree that it is an exeeUent weapon, and he may trust the statements of a dozen men that they would not be without it. It, How- ever he has never been in a position where be needed a revolver and does not anticipate being in such a position, he has no desire to own one. You must make him see that he does need this weapon, that it is carel^ness or folly not to have it. When you thus bring it mto re^- tion to his own needs, he is ready to buy. To make the reader see his need of the article you are offering-to make him want to own it^is the purpose of persuasion in the sales letter. , * j Persuasion is of two types: first, exhortation; and second, a convincing presentation of the benefits to be derived from the possession of the article. The first type should be used sparingly, and in some lines of busmess is almost never employed. The second type is a promi- nent element in every successful sales letter. It per- Perstuufion thotosthe reader hi* need for ^ your article TtDO tyj>es o/ persuasion % II First type: exhortation — too inti' mate for general use The effect of the wrong use of exhortation Exhortation must be tactfully worded and sparingly used HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS vades the whole letter: it is the keynote of the interest- arousing device ; it directs the choice of points in the description; and it is behind the special inducement. In addition, a separate paragraph of direct persuasion IS sometimes added ; but this is not always necessary. TJie use of persuasion by exhortation involves a cer- tarn intimacy at which it is difficult to arrive in business Before we dare employ it, we must know that our standi mg with our prospective customer is such that he will not resent our placing a paternal hand on his knee and talking to him -for his own good.- Unless we have attained this degree of intimacy, exhortation is likely to prove a dangerous weapon. Nothing is better calculated to stir the ire and call forth the contempt of a big, busy, self-sufficient business man than to be asked, -Can you afford to be without this great boon another day?'' -Will you let your prejudice stand between you and future wealth ?''-^nd similar exhortation. Nothing will so quickly freeze your prospective client into glacial indifference as, -Will your stockholders approve of your rejecting this dividend- producing offer?- Yet these phrases and dozens of the same sort have been used, and used by men whose familiarity with their own work has allowed them to become familiar with their customers. When tactfully worded, and employed in the right place, exhortation has its legitimate use. -Can you afford to permit a competitor to gain control of this profitable line?- is persuasion to a merchant. -Cer- tainly your boy should have the best ! - is a strong appeal to a mother. On the other hand, to tell a man that he IS damagmg his business by ignoring your offer, or to tell a woman that she is not treating her offspring right by refusmg to equip them at Jones' Emporium, may be untrue, and certainly is lacking in tact. But use it sparingly always-and remember that in some lines of business it has no place at aU. Insurance, Second type: showing the prospect how he will he benefited PERSUASION 97 business instruction, banking by mail, building and loan propositions, and other lines where the prosperity and comfort of clients are at issue, lend themselves to sale by exhortation. Commodities of daily business are best presented without it. The second type of persuasion is more effective. It endeavors to present the proposition to the customer in such an alluring way that he wants to take advantage of your offer. It tactfully points out the benefits which he will derive from it, the gain that will be his; and shows just how the proposition is adapted to his particular needs. A good example is shown on page 98. Notice the contrast with the letter on page 99. Such persuasion appears in some form in every sales letter. Here is the way a business school uses this type : Think of those times when you have yearned for a future — when you have grown impatient with the barriers that seem to hold you down to such a narrow sphere of life — ^when you hear of the career of some acquaintance whom you know to be no more capable than you. It is a matter of developed opportunity. Our instruction perfects you in a profession that is golden with opportunity. It fits you for success anywhere. Would you like to make your residence in busy, cosmopolitan New Yorkt Would you like to live in some quaint old southern town like New Orleans? Would you like some bustling western city like Kansas City or San Francisco? Would you like to live in a quiet old national capital — ^Washington ? The profession we will train you for, will enable you to choose your own location — there is unlimited demand for it every- where. Will you not let me show you how you may reach out and grasp this opportunity? Another business school also got this idea when it wrote: Nearly every man can look back — and not so far back either for most of us — and say, * * If I had taken that chance, I would be These show much better off now.*' That is what you will say some day not |7^^-,,-/^L far off, if you fail to consider seriously what we have offered you «*^y«^"'"^'2f in our law courses, for our proposition means just what I have "^^ the said — a bigger earning capacity, a better position and standing, reader wiU and brighter prospects in life. gain The preceding illustrations name definitely the bene- fits to be derived by the reader from the proposition offered in the letter. Sometimes only a suggestion of Two examples from letters of business schools HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Urges earful reading cf catalogue inter eH Pemuuion Indueement Clinehef 14 f L Dear Sir: Put a Silver-side Cemoe through any test that you wish, and it will live up to your expectations. Pick out any oanoe you like from the enclosed catalogue and get your share of the canoeing fun. Don't miss a day. Silver-side Canoes are built for service and pleasure. They take to the waters where they are used. Just like a duck. Experienced fishermen, hunters, guides, and scouts require Silver-side Canoes for their ex- cursions, because the selection of their equipment is never left to chance and they know that a Silver-side Canoe never balks. With a canoe you can enjoy the water- ways near your home, and get the boon of health and recreation which nature mesins that all of us shall have. Canoeing takes you out into the great open air and brings you back refreshed and eager to go again. Silver-side C£Lnoes are low-priced, and they will last for years. Their first cost gives you an outfit ready for use and with no further expense. Remember, we pay the freight this side of Denver. Buy now and lose no time when the sea- son opens. We ship the day the order reaches us, and the railroads can now deliver with unusual speed. We have had long experience in making and using canoes; so if you are undecided which style of canoe to choose, write to us on the enclosed blank for suggestions. Yours truly. PERSUASION THAT WINS PROMPT ACTION Here is a good reply to an inquiry. It is calculated to win the inquirer's personal interest and prompt his immediate action, by an attractive presentation of the pleasures of canoeing, and the superior quality of the Silver-side canoe. This makes a strong persuasive appeal. V / PERSUASION Dear Sir: Agreeable to your recent request for a catalogue of our school and information regard- ing our business courses, we wish to state that under separate cover we are mailing you a copy of our latest catalogue, in which you will find complete description of what we have to offer. We hope that after read- ing this, you will decide to enroll with us. Holding ourselves at your disposal for any additional in- formation you may require, and thanking you for the inquiry, we trust to have an acknowledg- ment from you on receipt of the catalogue in order to know that it reached you safely, and awaiting your further commands, we remain Very truly yours. Tooformal Laekeealee value Prompteno aduw WHY A SALES LETTER OFTEN MISSES THE MARK This is an actual letter of the type too often used in replying to an inquiry. Here the prospect is merely referred to the catalogue, and the letter serves only aa a too formal acknowledgment, absolutely wanting in sales value. Commonplace phrases and words serve only to make the letter more objectionable. !! « m U 100 A suggestion of benefits is often effective Examples of persuasion by sugges' iion Frequently, persuasion is combined with other elements HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS these benefits furnishes sufficient persuasion. A promi* nent ladies' tailor used this idea effectively when he wrote: I ain sure, madam, that if you could see yourself in one of these suits, you would acknowledge its perfect fit and exceptional finish. Here is only a suggestion. The active persuasion is left to the imagination, which, picturing a desirable result, can be counted upon to overcome the objections of the reader. A watch manufacturer makes good use of suggestion in this way: You probably do not buy a watch with the idea of selling it again; yet that is a pretty good test of value. If you want to know the standing of , try to buy one at second hand. Another case is that of a piano agency which has done a large business in the East, chiefly through sales- letters written by the head of the firm. One argument presented was: Talk this proposition over with your husband. As a business man, he will be able to guide you in business matters. The choice of the instrument can be left to you safely. For letters in some lines of business these separate paragraphs of persuasion, even of the suggestive form, are too familiar. In such cases the persuasive appeal must be kept in the background and brought in inci- dentally by combining it with the other elements of the letter. For example, the beginning of the letter which states the troubles of the employing printer (see p. 78) not only arouses his interest but also suggests his need of the remedy which the letter offers— that is, it con- tains the element of persuasion. So does the beginning given on p. 73: **YouVe got to have more money." We have also seen that we choose the points in our description from the standpoint of the reader's needs (see p. 83). That also is persuasion disguised as a part of description. Likewise, the special inducement which will be discussed in the next chapter, gathers up V' PERSUASION and reinforces all the persuasive appeals in the letter, and seeks to turn them into immediate action. Thus, persuasion is an essential element in every sales letter. Sometimes exhortation is effective, but it is too familiar and intimate in tone for frequent or uni- versal use. Persuasion of the second type— that which makes the reader realize his need of the article— is always present. In some letters a separate paragraph is devoted to it, but this method also is often too familiar. In such a case the persuasion is combined with the other elements. No definite rule can be given to guide the writer in his choice of the method to use. He must decide according to the conditions involved in each in- dividual case. But before using the more intimate forms, he should be sure that his relations with the reader warrant such familiarity. Persuasion should never be made intrusive ; the reader should not be made to feel that the writer is trying to force him to act. This chapter may fittingly be concluded with a warn- ing against a practice all too common among correspond- ents: don't try to persuade a man to answer your letter by assuming an attitude of injury. If a man writes to you for information about the article you have for sale, or requests the sample or booklet you offer to give away free, don't think you can make him send you money by causing him to feel that he is indebted to you for sending him what you agreed to, free of all charges. Don't dictate, or attempt to force him to do business with you. Any letter a man writes you because he thinks he has to, isn't worth the stamp that carries it. Here, for example, is the way one finn begins a letter which it expects to win customers : Did you ever have the unpleasant experience of addressinff a person upon a subject, without even being accorded the courtesy of f reply— or worse still, did you ever answer anyone's questions, to the best of your ability, without receiving a word in return for your time or trouble! If you have had either one or both of these experiences, you will understand how we feel because you haven't answered our letters. 101 Summary of preceding points A warning against a common fault An example of an *'in'- jured dig^ nity'^ Utter 102 How such a letter a^ecti the reader Abetter method I 'iS Peretuuion prepares the way for the indiicement HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS That is only the beginning of this wailing and gnash- ing-of -teeth letter. The first thing the young man who received this letter said was, ''My, look at the raking over these fellows are giving me, simply because I accepted their invitation to investigate their article. I didn't find it what I wanted; so what was the use of writing?" Antagonism is the first product of such a letter. Instead of going after a prospect as though he had com- mitted a sin, it would have been a hundred per cent more profitable to have continued the follow-up with a letter showing the prospect in a new way that the article was what he needed and wanted. Whether its immediate object is to get a reply to a letter or to make a sale, persuasion must not attempt to force a decision. It must not antagonize the reader. It must put him in the proper frame of mind to consider the proposition favorably. If it does that, and leads hiri to see the value of the proposition to himself, it has per- formed its work. Then a little additional inducement ought to lead the prospect over the line and into the ranks of the buyers. CHAPTER XI fc WHAT INDUCEMENTS TO OFFER SKILFUL description, inoontestable proof, and con- vincing persuasion will, in some eases, land tht order, but frequently these need to be reinforced by some inducement that hastens the act of buying. The letter without an inducement may convince a man that the goods for sale are desirable and that they are suited to his personal needs, but it leaves a loophole for pro- crastination. Your own experience is proof of this. You have probably determined to buy mesh underwear, insured SOX, a dozen magazines, a piano player, and an auto- mobile — some time. You are convinced of their good points, you know that you want them, and you have the price. All that is necessary is the proper induce- ment — ^the galvanic spark which will quicken into life this latent desire. And so it is with your customers. Gain is at the bottom of all inducements. Gain is the root of all business action. But gain is not always a matter of dollars and cents. Besides the gain in ** Spe- cial price for a few days;*' the gain in the ** Special re- duction, if you send your dealer's name," and the gain in the free sample, there is also the subtie suggestion of gain in ''This may change the entire course of your Inducement reinforces persuasion Inducement means showing gain 104 Inducement is more dynamic than persuasion Various kinds of inducement: **Limited supply** warning An effective example HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS life;'* in ''Information that may save you hours of un- certainty;'' and dozens of others that do not represent anything tangible, but mean gain, just the same. Thus, the inducement has much in common with per- suasion. Both are based on gain, on the good to be derived from the possession of the article. But the in- ducement is more dynamic: its purpose is to focus the attention of the reader on the necessity of making sure of the gain by immediate action — ^by accepting the offer now. Inducements are as various as sunsets. A familiar one is the warning that only a limited supply of the goods is available. A book publisher uses this effec- tively by giving exact figures on the number of copies of certain books that he is able to supply : In six weeks more our contract with the author expires. Three times we have been forced to renew this contract; three times we have ceased all book advertising; and still the orders have continued to pile in so heavily that another arrangement with Mr. was imperative. Of the 30,000 sets we have printed altogether, there are now about 149 in the stockroom, and 1,000 more are going through the bindery. If you had seen the orders streaming in at a 200-a- day clip at the termination of other contracts, you would realize how quickly these 1,149 sets will melt away. While we still have books on hand, I want them to go to our own old customers. I cannot, of course, discriminate against outsiders; I must fill the orders as they come in. But I can urge you to speak for your set now. This is perhaps rather long and detailed for general use. A similar inducement in briefer form follows : We have just 146 sets of these books to sell at $18.50. When the new edition is in, it will be impossible to get a set at less than $25. The old edition is just as good as the new, but we are entirely out of circular matter describing the green cloth binding, and as we don 't want to print a new lot of circulars just to sell 146 sets, we make this unusual offer. Now is your chance. Reduced price is another common inducement. In the preceding illustration this is combined with the '* limited supply" warning. When a reduced price is offered, a good reason for it should be given, for other- wise the reader is likely to be suspicious of the quality of INDUCEMENT 105 Dear Mr. Wilson: It is just a year since I sent you that memorable letter about the Crown Cal- culator. When that letter was written. I had an unknown, unheard-of appliance to tell you about. Today nearly 5,000 of these machines are in everyday use. In great business offices all over the land, in stores, in factories, the Crown is saving time, money, and errors in clerical labor. It is no longer an experiment. I don't know why you have been silent during these twelve months. But whatever has prevented you from trying this machine, I want to permit you to place this calcula- tor in your office and try it. So I am making you this offer — an offer so fair and broad that even if you had made it yourself you could not have made the conditions fairer. It is no longer a question of whether the machine is really practical. It is no longer a question of whether or not you can afford it — for under the new offer, YOU PAY FOR THE MACHINE AS IT PAYS FOR ITSELF. Read the offer through. Only a quarter a day places the Crown in your office AT ONCE. The first payment of $5 enables you to put the machine into immediate money-saving, money-making use. And the balance you have nearly a whole year to pay. I have attached a convenient coupon to the circular enclosed. Simply sign this coupon — enclose it in an envelope with a S5 bill, and mail it to me — AT MY RISK. Your name is enough security for me. The Crown will go forward, all transportation charges fully prepaid. Yours very truly. Natural Bxpretnon Proof Inducernent and proof Inducement mingled with persuaeion and proof Inducement Clincher mxik' ing ordering easy STRONG INDUCEMENT NATURALLY EXPRESSED Whether the inducement is large or small, it should be clearly understood. Therefore the inducement should be stated in the most natural way possible. Here the inducement wins the reader's entire confidence. The offer is stated bo clearly that there is little chance for subsequent misunderstanding. 106 HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Eliminating Offjteticns Relains interest btf leading direetly to offer Ordering made §aeif I Dear Sir: Why have you not sent us YOUR subscrip- tion to PROFITS? It cannot be the price — $1 — for you would gladly give many times that amount for the ide£ts that a single issue of PROFITS will bring. It cannot be the want of time— for a mere stroke of the pen would place your name on PROFITS' mailing list. It cannot be that you are not interested — for who ever heard of a business man who did not want his business, his efficiency, his income to grow? It cannot be the lack of opportunity — for we have written you five letters, giving you five opportunities. But we write once again. Will you give yourself a chance to learn what PROFITS is accomplishing for you even while you are keeping it from your desk? Your choice of any ONE of the remark- able series of business books described in the enclosed folder I That's the offer. Bear in mind: one book FREE with your renewal! And every idea in every volume is specific, practical. USABLE — ^written by experts. Here are correct, definite, de- tailed solutions for those business prob- lems that so long have vexed you. Run your finger down the nine titles. Pick out the book YOU need. Mark your' choice and send with a $1 bill TODAY. We will not only send you PROFITS for the next twelve months, but will also forward you, absolutely free, even trans- ? or tat ion charges prepaid, the book that OU choose. This is a fair offer. Yours very truly. AN INDUCEMENT THAT PULLED MANY ORDERS This follow-np letter has been successful in pulling ti large number of orders. Without the slightest suggestion of apology, it condenses the arguments that have gone before and then offers the prospect an attractive inducement as a dimax not only of the letter, but of the entire series. 107 Inducement of reduced price for introduction INDUCEMENT the article or of the genuineness of the reduction. The publisher with the 146 sets found a good reason in the necessity of printing new circulars. One reduced price inducement, with an adequate reason, is the offer of lower price for introduction : The Wricht Copy Holder seUs the world over for $3.00. We are ^r?ak^,howeve?f that once you see the holder actuaUy m- cWnTSe output of your own typist you J^ wimt to eqmp your entire office with them. So, for a Imiited time only, we are goLg to make you an introductory price of $2.25. Send today for one of these holders, — etc. Similarly, low prices are offered during dull seasons: ^. P^^ We are going to remodel our store during our dull season-- J^^ put in a brLd iew front and sales room, install ^ew cutting seasons rooms new fitting rooms, new sewing rooms, and make ours tne to«t tSoring^teblishient in the Southwest. We have to do this to take care of our rapidly increasing busmess. 8o-to reduce our stock before we begin to tear .«»f g" J»P» we wiU make for you any $50 suit for $35; any $45 suit for $30, and any $40 or $35 suit for $25. Notice of advance in price also encourages prompt action. A business school writes : On November 1 the cost of taking the efficiency course will advance 25%. After that date, no one can on any account get the old tuition rates. Sign the enclosed enrollment blank at once— and save the 25% advance. Another inducement is the offer of a free trial or Free trial free examination : We do not want you to buy in the dark. We ^f^t jou to be certam tiiat the Autiior's National edition of Mark Twaan s Works will be a valuable addition to your hbrary. That w why we will send you the twenty-five volumes at our expense, riiat is why you may examine them thoroughly— not ^o^^ » /e^^»»^^*J*T but for ten days. That is why you may send the books back "collect" if unsatisfactory. The subscription to the magwme win be cancelled, and you will owe us nothing if you do not keep tlie books. Advance in price This is only a suggestive list of inducements. There are many others. You may play up the seasonableness of the article, ybu may offer some special service, such as advertising in the local paper (when selling to retail dealers), erience in erecting many silos. Why not turn your possible losses into profits? Have you been over to see Mr. Wilson's silo? Ask any questions you wish on the enclosed c£u:d, and mail it today. Yours very truly. §f. ft Another "story Immediate application to prospect Clean-eui argument Proqf Laysbtmsfot continued correspondene0 THE THIRD LETTER This letter also starts out in the narrative style. The incident is brought quickly to bear on the reader at the beginning of the third paragraph. The sug- gestion of possible loss is Used to stimulate the reader's interest and thus impelg him to read on in the hope of finding the means of preventing it. lU HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Annoert pro»' peet'i question without delay I'll Explanation and description Continues to assume that the prospect "wiU buy Dear Sir: Silage will NOT freeze — if you build right . If you wanted a house that would be the coolest possible in summer amd the warmest possible in winter, you would not build one with walls of sheeting one inch thick, but you would build double walls of brick six inches thick. That's just the difference between silos. If you want to keep silage, you must keep it from freezing. If there is only one freeze during the winter and the silage is not protected, it will freeze from 4 to 12 inches deep in from the walls, and thousands of cubic feet of good silage will be lost. The Rockwall silo will keep your silage from freezing. The walls of our silo are not only six inches thick, but they are divided by two air spaces — dead air spaces — which stop the cold effectually. The only silage which spoils in the Rockwall silo is that immediately on top, and this spoilage is necessary to keep the air from going down through the silage. Silage does not spoil next to the walls of our silo, because the heat of fermenta- tion is not lost. Our block holds the heat instead of conducting it away as does most cement and masonry construction. So the corn is all converted into good sweet silage clear out to the walls. Don't you want to talk it over with Mr. Farthy of our company? He is a silo expert and a pleasant fellow to talk business with. When may he see you? Yours very truly. THE FOURTH LETTER This letter marks a split in the follow-up series. The prospect's question, in response to the previous letter, is answered directly and without delay in the first paragraph. The reasons for this answer are fully explained in the five paragraphs that foUow. In the close, emphasis is laid on an interview. SALES FOLLOW-UP LETTERS Dear Sir: Yes, our silo will pay. You and I know anything is worth only what it can do for you, not what you choose to spend for it. That's just as true of a silo as anything else. You get what you pay for, and no more. If you want a silo that will last only a few years, buy a cheap one; don't buy ours. If you want a silo of doubtful con- struction, buy a cheap one; don't buy ours. But if you want a silo built as carefully as a battleship, one that will last many years, and cost you less per year than any other, then buy a Rockwall. You can buy other silos for less money, but compare what others offer you with our list. Here it is — look at it! Hard burned selected clay blocks. Heavy gray-iron, non-rusting door frames. Cypress wood doors, patent lock. Iron steps for two ladders. Bolts for chute and roof. Reinforcing metal for foundation and every course of blocks. Roof, frame and covering complete. Specially constructed scaffold. Detailed instructions and blueprints. Freight paid on return of tools and scaffold. If your mason is not familiar with silo construction, we are prepared to furnish labor at your request. Mr. Farthy can drive out to see you next Monday morning. Shall I tell him to come? If any other date is better, check it on the postal card and mail it today. Yours very truly. 125 Personal tone wins confidence Persuasion Submits data for proof Climax of the series Inducement Brings persondi interview THE FIFTH LETTER Price and what it covers are reserved for discussion in the final letter of the series. The short and direct sentences in the first three paragraphs lead up to the climax of the series in the fourth paragraph, in which the superior advantages of the article offered for sale are emphasized in one, two, three order. L* ' I I It ^'fl 126 Analysis of painUmade in the series Get the most effective arrangemen of arguments Test your arrangement by a try-out HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS pointedly; the second drives home the value of the silo as an investment; the third warns against probable but preventable losses; the fourth answers an important question concerning silage ; and the fifth details exactly what the purchaser will get for his money, what the price covers. Supplementary points are added in each letter, but the main argument stands out The arrangement of the arguments in this and in every series — ^that is, the order in which the letters are sent out — ^is an important matter. It has been proved by tests that a change in the order will seriously affect the pulling power of the series. The most effective ar- rangement cannot always be determined a priori. The most that you can do when you map out a letter cam- paign is to arrange the letters tentatively in a certain order, which is based upon the experience gained from previous campaigns, or upon the testimony of sales- men as to the arguments which they have found most effective. However, don^t spend your money in mailing this series to your full list of prospects until you have tested it on a small list. Send it out to, say, five hundred or a thousand names, the number depending upon the scope of your campaign. Then keep a careful record of the returns from each letter. If the test list has been so selected that it is a representative one, the percentage of returns should be about the same from the large list. Consequently you now know which are the stronger letters and which are the weaker. Then on the basis of this test rearrange your series, and if necessary, rewrite your less successful letters. In this rearrangement do not make the mistake of using all your stronger arguments in the earlier letters of the series. The first letter should, of course, be a strong one, for it must not only get orders from as large a percentage of prospects as possible and thus save the expense of a further campaign, but it should also arouse SALES FOLLOW-UP LETTERS sufficient interest, among the readers who are not yet ready to buy, to insure attention for the succeeding letters. Then reserve one or two of the more effective arguments for the latter part of the series, for otherwise you will close with an anti-climax. Good selling talk will be required to bring into line the prospects who have resisted the appeals of the earlier letters. The series as now arranged is ready to be sent out to the complete mailing list. Each letter will bring orders from some prospects, inquiries from others, and from still others no reply at all. The first class are dropped from your present follow-up list. The last will be retained to receive the following letters of the series. The second class, those making inquiries, will require a different procedure. A prospect has indicated interest in some phase of the proposition and perhaps has made inquiries about special points. To him, a new letter, not included in the original series, will be sent. This will, of course, answer his questions fully, and perhaps present new points. The subsequent procedure with this man will depend upon the nature of his question. If it indicates a field of fc- terest not covered by the original series, and if this field is broad enough to warrant such a procedure, a new series of letters will be sent him, the original one, for the present, at least, being put aside. This new series will draw its arguments from the new field of interest. Suppose, for example, that after receiving the first two or three letters of the series on the silo, the man in- quires if the value of silage as feed for cattle is sufficient to warrant putting in a silo. Here is a man who, obviously, needs to be educated to the use of silage ; and the company may consider it worth while to devote two or three letters to this task. Then when he has been con- vinced, the original series of letters, hammering away on the advantages of the Rockwall silo, could be resumed. 127 Don*t use all the best arguments in the first letters How to handle replies — especially inquiries When the inquiry needs several letters in answer 128 When the inquiry can be covered in one letter Forms and personal letters used in the "split" Elements composing the follow-up letters HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS On the other hand, the question may be one that can be answered satisfactorily in a single letter, in which case, if this answer does not bring the order, the original series is continued. For instance, there is a split follow- ing Letter No. 3, p. 123. The prospect has sent in the card mentioned in the clincher in No. 3, with the ques- tion, **Can a silo be built so that silage will not freeze?'' Letter No. 4 answers this inquiry. Then, as this ques- tion does not need further discussion, the original series is resumed in Letter No. 5. The same procedure will be followed each time a new question is asked. The question is answered; and then the subsequent letters either follow the line of interest suggested by the inquiry, or return to the original series, as explained above. These new letters are not necessarily personally dic- tated letters, for in a large follow-up campaign most of the inquiries will fall into a few general groups which can be handled by forms. But if any person asks a question not covered by the forms, his special case must be taken care of with individual letters. The separate letters of a series — both the original series and the splits — will be made up of the elements discussed in the preceding chapters. Of course, not all the elements will be found in every letter ; and the em- phasis on different elements will vary in different mem- bers of the series, according to the conditions giving rise to a particular letter. If the prospect has sent in several inquiries, for example, it is not necessary to start a reply with a para- graph intended primarily to gain his attention. You already have it. He may want only explanation. Or if he has thoroughly understood the article and terms of sale, the letters may be devoted chiefly to persuasion, or inducement. The first letter of a series is frequently more com- prehensive than the later ones, for it must contain SALES FOLLOW-UP LETTERS enough information to give the reader a definite idea of the article or proposition. Hence in this one the de- scription of the article or explanation of what it will do is, in many sales series, made full and complete. The later letters usually contain less general description, and will lay emphasis on persuasion — show the reader the ben- efit he will derive from the article — and on inducement. These are, of course, important in the first letter also; and, likewise, a fresh statement of an important point or points in the description is not out of place in any letter. Each letter has a two-fold purpose — ^to make the sale and to pave the way for the following letters — and the best combination to accomplish these two things must be determined in each case by the writer. The length of the letters cannot be set arbitrarily for all cases. Theoretically, the ideal length would be not more than one typewritten page, but many letters of two and even more pages have been effective. Li general it may be said that a first letter in a series answering an inquiry may safely be made fairly long. The reader has indicated his interest, and if the correspondent uses ordinary care and skill, he should be able to write a de- tailed letter without sacrificing that interest. The length varies, too, with the class of readers; as, for example, a letter to a farmer may usually be made longer than one to a hurried business man. However, if you are in doubt as to the proper length of a letter, don't guess — make a test. Then you will have definite information on which to base your judgment. We have spoken of the value of testing a follow-up series, both as to the length of the letters and the pulling power of the different arguments. How is such a try- out conducted? Send your series to a list of ^we hun- dred or a thousand names, selected from localities which you think represent average business possibilities. In this selection you will be guided by your experience in previous selling campaigns, by the reports of salesmen, 129 The elements vary in different letters of a series Length of the letters How to conduct a test p.i 130 Select average localities — not the best or worst Have similar conditions in the test and the big campaign ''Keying'* the replies HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS and by your general knowledge of business conditions in your territory. But remember— don't select the best localities or the poorest; select the average. If you do this, your returns from the test should represent about the proportion of replies that you will get from your complete mailing list— if the conditions are the same. This matter of conducting the test and the complete campaign under similar conditions, is important The three most essential considerations to keep in mind are general business conditions, local conditions, and the time when the prospect receives the letters. For in- stance, if the test is made during a period of business prosperity, and in the interim between the test and the mailing to the complete list some event occurs which causes a retrenchment among business men, the results of your test will not agree with those of the larger list. The same will be true if a local drouth, or other cause produces hard times in any locality. Also the number of replies will vary with the time when the letter reaches the prospect. If it is mailed so as to be on his desk on Saturday— a busy day, or on Monday or after a holi- day—when two or more days' mail has accumulated, the replies will not be so numerous as they will be if he gets it in the middle of the week or at a time when no holiday has piled up his work. It is hardly necessary to add that if the follow-up campaign is to be conducted in the fall, the test should not be made in the spring or early summer. This all means that if the results of your test are to be trustworthy, the conditions must be prac- tically the same when it is sent as when the complete list is mailed. When the replies from the test letters come in, they must be carefully tabulated. For this purpose, some sys- tem of *' keying" the letters is needed. The return post card, addressed envelope, or other similar enclosures fur- nish the easiest means of doing this. The enclosure to be returned is different for each letter, and when replies are SALES FOLLOW-UP LETTERS received, they can be credited to the proper letter. Fre- quently also each letter of a series requests that all in- quiries or orders be addressed to a certain clerk, indi- cated by a real or fictitious name, or to a certain depart- ment, as ** Department A," etc. When the name of a clerk or the number of a department is given, the cus- tomer is likely to repeat it in his reply, even if he fails to use the return enclosure, and thus the inquiry can be assigned to the letter which inspired it. A test is easy to conduct, and its results are indica- tive to a high degree of accuracy of the returns later from the complete list. With such a convenient and cheap means of finding out the weak atid strong points in your follow-up series, there is no excuse for the reek- less expenditure of money on expensive, untried cam- paigns. A follow-up campaign could not be carried on with- out form letters. The ideal follow-up would be one in which the correspondent knew personally each of the prospects to whom he writes, and then dictated a letter which would conform to the individual prejudices and tastes of each one. But the realization of such an ideal is impossible. In the first place no correspondent could be expected to know even a small percentage of 100,000 prospects, and if he did, he could not take the time to dictate a special letter to each. Hence a follow-up cam- paign is dependent on forma These may be either com- plete letters or single paragraphs. The former are used in the original series — ^the one mailed out until a split occurs — and also in handling the more common inquiries which require the same answer. For other inquiries which occur frequently but in different combinations in different letters, form paragraphs are used. One is pre- pared to answer each individual inquiry, and these para- graphs can be combined to handle any given set of ques- tions. The objection frequently made to forms is that they 131 Methods used in keying'* « The value of the test Follow-up campaigns are made possible by form letters 132 HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS SAliBS FOLLOW-UP LETTERS 133 I Forms need not be impersonal Manufactur- ers* farm^ supplied to dealers Dealer help Utter are cold and impersonal. However, this is not neces- sarily true. The form letter can be made to convey the impression of personal interest if the writer will keep in mind one essential point. He should write to individ- uals, not to men in the mass. This means, not that he must know every customer personally, but that he should select some man of his acquaintance who fairly repre- sents a certain class of customers, and then, visualizing this man, write the letter as if he were talking to him. The value of the form letter written for the individ- ual rather than the mass and carrying the conviction of a personal interest is recognized by many manufacturing companies in promoting their sales. These companies make a practice of supplying their dealers with form letters for their local mailing-list. Such letters may or may not be a follow-up series. They are, of course, sales letters. They may be supplied in quantity by the manu- facturer and typed on stationery bearing both his name and that of the local dealer, or they may be typed on the stationery of the local store and carry only the dealer's name. These letters naturally refer to the man- ufacturer by name and focus on his product, but they are always worded as if written by the dealer. A num- ber of clothing and shoe companies have established the practice of sending their dealers such letters just before the vacation, Easter, or Christmas holiday sales cam- paigns. This kind of form letter is closely allied to what is commonly called the dealer help letter. This form of correspondence is highly developed by companies that advertise extensively and whose sales policy does not stop with selling to the dealer, but includes helping him to sell to his customer. To make this policy yield its largest return, the cooperation between merchant or man- ufacturer and dealer needs to be enthusiastic, close and constant. After reading an advertisement the prospect fills in the attached coupon or writes a letter a^ing for a catalog, or sample, or information, as the case may be. Two courses are then open to the manufacturer. He may answer the inquiry directly, refer the prospect to the local dealer, send the latter the prospect's name, and consider the transaction closed; or he may follow up the prospect himself with a series of letters, urging the advantages of his product and of the service of the dealer. At the same time the dealer is in a position to seek an interview with the prospect, verify the information in the letters, and close the sale. By this second course the customer is under a double fire, as it were, and the chances for making a sale are increased. The cost of the sale may be greater and the margin of profit smaller, but this may be offset in the long run by the greater number of sales. Which course shall be pursued depends very largely on the business itself. Too often where companies pursue the former course, dismissing the prospect with one letter and turning him over to the local dealer, the prospect gains the impres- sion that the manufacturer wants to get rid of him as quickly as possible, as in the following actual letter : Dear Sir: Replying to your favor of recent date, we beg to advise that A. W. Kissler, 442 East Cleland St., has the sales of our machines in your city and we have today referred your inquiry to the above named dealer, who will be pleased to give same prompt and careful attention. Thanking you for this inquiry and trusting we may receive an order for one of our machines through this dealer, we remain. Now, notice the contrast with the following dealer help letter: Dear Sir: Did you notice when you read the advertisement of the Blackwell marine engine that we left out one mighty important dimension f We did. It covers a point of great importance in the design of an engine, and a point where the Blackwell is particularly strong, tkat is, the size, strength and weight of the main bearings. Without proper bearings no engine can continue to give good power, good service, and long life. We left out that dimension because we want you to see the bearings for yourself, and for that matter you want to see the whole engine, too. You don't have to wait until you buy the Blackwell to find out how it works. Just run over to 712 West Two ways o/ handling dealer help letters How a letter can deaden interest How to stimulate greater interest 134 "Ginger-up letter" to salesmen A "roU of honor*' letter HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Adams St. and ask for Mr. Fred Price of W. F. Price and Sons. Mr. Price will tell you all about the bearings and let you run the engine yourself, if you wish. You can test any engine he has in stock and buy it afterwards. Isn't that a fair proposition f Mr. Price will be looking for you. Later, if he should be out of the city at any time, as he often is, his brother, George Price, will show you the engine. Write to us again, if necessary, and we will serve you in any way possible. One other form of correspondence may be men- tioned in connection with sales follow-up letters. It is what is often called the '* ginger-up letter.'' Only in- directly is it a sales letter. One of the difficult problems a sales manager must solve is how to hold his salesmen to the same keen interest in their work that marked their days of training in the home office before they were sent ''on the road." One way to do this is through the ginger-up letter. The term is almost self-explanatory. Anything goes into the letter— a story, a bit of company news, a joke perhaps, a clipping from the trade paper — anything that will stimulate the salesman and thereby increase sales, anything that will keep alive the personal contact between manager and man, provided it does not endanger the manager's control. For example : Dear Mr. MacNieol: John Whitman now has his name on our roll of honor. When a man is engaged in battle and does an heroic deed, they give him the Iron Cross or the Victoria Cross. When he is engaged in the battle of business, he is entitled to honorable men- tion when he does something unusual. The story of Whitman 's feat of salesmanship is this : He called on a customer in Kansas and learned that he was ill and in a sanitarium twenty-two miles away. Whitman could have written to the home office that his man was sick and proceeded about his business. But the breath of battle was in his nostrils. He wanted an order, and he had confidence in his ability to get it. Instead of riding on a famous black charger as General Sheridan did at Winchester, Whitman took an automobile and drove to the sanitarium. While his patient lay on a cot, Whitman sat beside him and displayed samples and models, and took his order. After a while the doctor pulled Whitman away, but not until he had an order for $950 worth of goods. Then he took the doctor downstairs and sold him a suit. We think you will agree that this is an evidence of enterprise, resource, and courage*. CHAPTER XIV NEWS VALUE THEEE is on© impression that you want your letter invariably to give— you want it to appear as a **to- day" product, a strictly live, up-to-the-minute communi- cation from one man to another. And there is one way that you can give it this liveness better than any other- give it news value. What the world wants and has wanted since the be- ginning is news. The business world is no exception. If you can tell a man something new, particularly some- thing that has a relation to his business, you can get his attention and interest. Put the information into your letter, give it a sales twist, and you can make of it a correspondence asset. News as used in sales correspondence is of two kinds. You can take some live public topic, a good piece of newspaper news that you know must be familiar to the man addressed, and give it an application that will boost your own goods. That's one brand of sales letter news, and it makes your paper talk bristle with up-to-date- ness. Or you can give your prospect a bit of trade news, some item connected with his business and yours. This is of particular sales value, because when you approach News ttories make letters alive and up40'date Twokinde of news: public iopiei and trade news 136 PubHeiopicM Two examples of ifffective use M JN Miscellanea ous topics of interest to readers HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS a man tactfuUy abont his business, you are sure to touch a responsive chord. The first kind of news— the live public topic— you wiU draw chiefly from the daily papers. News of this sort can be pressed into service by any man who sells his goods through letters. A watch manufacturer, for example, wrote : One of the last things that Commodore Peary did before sailmgon the expedition that found the Pole was to purchase a -——-watch. Could you imagine a stronger testimonial to Uonai ** * perfect timekeeper under all climatic condi- There is news, human interest, and an abundance of proof in a reference like that. It makes the letter live primarily, and it also carries more conviction as to qual- ity than could volumes of argument Here is the way a retailer with a clever turn of mind made use of a local disaster: Dear Mr. Henderson: No doubt you read in the Journal Monday that the dweUine house of Mrs. Fmdlay, on Front Street, was destroyed by fire. The F^nHW J^""^- ^^ -^^l explosion of a gasoline stove which Mrs. Fmdlay waa using m her work. In attempting to extinguish the f^^J^"^' Fmdlay was badly burned on the face and hands t2fi&^ ^ ^ ""^^^ ""^ destroyed, and tiie loss wiU reach «.« ^LT'^u^ "^^^J.*** ^y *^^- **^* ^ Mrs. Findlay had had a gas range, this would not have happened. A gas range is safer ^d much cheaper than gasoline. N^w is the time tf buy^our' wife a gas range and make her work a pleasure, and her life secure. Accounts of injuries and deaths through accidents can be used to good advantage in accident and life in- surance letters. Burglaries, particularly local ones, make strong appeals in letters from locksmiths, hard- ware dealers, burglary insurance men, bank and safe de- posit men. News items regarding impure water can be made use of by the dealer in filters. There are a thou- sand opportunities for the retailer, or any other man, to make his letters live (page 137). The other kind of news— trade news— may be found in your everyday work or your trade paper. After aU, NEWS VALUE Dear Sir: Did you read this clipping about the boy bandits? It sub- stantiates our claim for ease of control £Uid flexibility, £ind shows that during the chase the young bandits traveled 74 miles, making fifteen starts and stops. The matter of turns and other Kerf ormances proves that the orth Star automobile is the most easily controlled car on the market today. The car was driven over a curb, down an embankment, and across a vacant lot without injuring the tires or steering connections, and without break- ing the springs. In attempting to follow it, the motorcycle policemen smashed their tires in jumping the curb. This proves that the wonderful tire mileage North Star owners are securing is not a question of luck, but an engineering feat of more than passing note. Shall we explain to you the flexible construction of the North Star and show why this performance was possible? Yours truly. 137 Compda atteiUion Forcttfid description focused on the goods Ends quickly in u strong climax PUTTING NEWS VALUE TO WORK With this letter was enclosed a newspaper clipping describing a chase by the Chicago police of a band of young robbers who had stolen an automobile, and had used it in a series of daring robberies. The manufacturer made the incident the text for a convincing demonstration of the strength of his car. las Trade news — always of value V Examples : A novel use of advance notices of styles HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS it is simply a matter of telling your man something of newsy interest about your goods. It may be a new model you are putting on the market, a new service you can give the dealer or the user. Again it may be simply advice as to coming fashions, or a suggestion as to the best method of handling certain goods. If it is given the news turn, it gets the interest. For the retailer who uses the mails to keep in touch with his customers or for the manufacturer or wholesaler following up his trade, this is the kind of news that counts most. Here, for instance, is a newsy letter from a fork manufacturer to a retailer. It is good because it gives him an idea that he probably has not thought of before, and best of all, it has practical value : Dear Mr. Dealer: When business is slow, and you have some time on jour hands one of these warm days, wouldn't it pay vou to telephone every coal dealer in your town, and try to get his order for coal and coke forks f Next season 's supply of fuel will be largely delivered to resi- dences during the remainder of the summer, and the haulers wiU need forks. Here is our heavy goods catalogue, showing all patterns and sizes. Please write us if your jobber cannot supply you with whatever you want. Every housewife wants to know what the store has in the way of new goods that she can use. She is glad when a Montana grocer writes her thus : The first shipment of that delicious white plume celery ar- rived by express today from Kalamazoo, and although it came a long way, it is just as crisp and fresh as when it left the celery city. Just call up 72, and we '11 send over as much as you want at ten cents a bunch. Advance notices of coming styles are especially good news items for the lady customer ; and if she gets them in a letter, she will be far more impressed with the store that writes her than she ever would be through read- ing them in its newspaper advertising One storeman managed this matter very effectively by sending a list of names of lady customers to its Paris buyer and having style letters sent from there direct. The novelty of get- NEWS VALUE 139 ting those personal letters from abroad, combined with the actual news value, brought results. What you consider just common things may be news News drawn to other people. For instance, here is the way a laundry Ao^ 2/owr man makes news out of his methods of doing work: Dear Mr. Norton: You 11 often find among your new laundered collars, some that are scratched or blistered on the seam. (That is, unless we do your laundry work.) It is not a necessary evil, either. The ex- planation is simple. The seams of a double-fold or wing pomt should be evenly dampened before folding. Otherwise it blisters or cracks. We have a machine to dampen those seams. It must dampen evenly, for it does it with mechanical precision. So you will get no cracked collars back from us. Just step to the telephone and call up Main 427, and your laundry will be ready for use whenever you want it. And here is another letter that gets the idea, this from a bird fancier : Dear Sir: We have just received a consignment of St. Andreasberg Roller Canaries which we can offer you at the special price of $3.50. These birds are really a second grade of Golden Opera Singer. During their course of training some birds make mis- takes—others take up false notes. We call such birds St Andreas- berg Boilers. They sing just as often as the first grade birds, and they all sing at night; but each bird has some slight imperfection in his song. Now, personally, I have no possible use for a canary, but this man almost sold me a bird simply because, with what was news to me, he got me deeply interested. Just keep this matter of news value in mind when you run through the letters that come to your desk to- morrow. Although you may never have stopped to analyze it before, you will find that the man who tells you something new, the man that throws into his mes- sage some bit of live, up-to-now information — ^that man gets your interest. , Put the idea to use yourself. You will find news making your dull, dry correspondence sparkling with life. You will find it giving new pulling power to letters that have been going to the discard. own methods of doing work A letter on canaries News interest will enliven otherwise dead letters CHAPTER XV GIVING YOUR LETTERS PERSONALITY The sales- man with a personality is the one who gets the orders The sales letter also must have personality il YOU have a new line of goods to introduce, and you advertise for salesmen to handle them on the road. Most of the applicants are ordinary in speech, ordi- nary in appearance, and obviously of ordinary ability. A few stand out from the others. Their speech is force- ful, they have the knack of presenting an idea in a new and interesting manner, they give the impression of being resourceful, of being able to adapt themselves to any conditions. They are alive and aggressive. They have personality. Which men will you hire? Why, then, be content with the ordinary, the com- monplace, sales letter as your traveling representative? Why expect it to be successful when you are afraid to employ the ordinary salesman who is lacking in person- ality ? The same principle applies to both. If you expect your campaign by mail to get big results, you must make your letters distinctive and in- dividual. Give them a personal touch. The ordinary letter has no individuality, no personality. And, like the salesman without personality, it cannot arouse the interest and desire of the customer. We say of such a man that he is ** uninteresting.'* So is the letter. The letters on pages 142 and 143 illustrate the difference. PERSONALITY The letter with a personality, then, must be original in thought and expression. Read a dozen sales letters that were placed on your desk this morning, and what do you find in the majority of them? The same stock ideas clothed in the same colorless and obsolete phraseology. Apparently the writers not only did not care to be orig- inal, but actually tried to make their letters conform to the old obsolete forms. Seemingly, their only anxiety was to show that they were fully accredited graduates of the **We-beg-to-advise'' school of correspondence. We have already discussed the evils of the stereo- typed beginning and close of the business letter in gen- eral (page 10). What was said there applies to all business letters, but it is especially true of the sales letter. In the latter it is doubly important that you should be careful to avoid anything that will deaden in- terest, for the success of your effort to sell to a man depends on your arousing and keeping his interest. In the body of your letter, too, strive to get a distinc- tive touch that will attract the attention of your reader. For instance, compare the two following letters. Ob- serve the stilted style of this tiresome, long-drawn-out sentence : Our connections are snch as to make it possible for you to place your order with us right here in the city, where we can show you the goods and demonstrate the eflSciency of our ears, and we hope that just as soon as you receive the catalogue you will look it over carefully and make it a point to call at our sales room which is connected with our general offices, and give us an oppor- tunity to show you what our cars will do. And then turn to the refreshing ease of expression in this from a local tailor : Do you know that Henry has been cutting clothes for some of Atlanta's best dressers for the last ten years, and that many of our old customers run in from out of town just to get that perfection of fit that they know only Henry can give themt This is just an indication of the confidence particular dressers have in our ability to give clothes comfort and satisfaction. Here the writer has even referred to his cutter by name. The ordinary writer, if he mentioned the cutter 141 Letter personality means partly originality It dispenses with the stereotyped beginning and end It requires freshness of expression 11 142 HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Failt to touch the reader* s interest The only epecific material in the letter Indifferent toealeM I Unconvincing «• We hope" but don't care very much Dear Sir: Such good results were obtained by our customers using Reedman's Nitrogen Fertil- izer l£ist year that we have arranged to increase our capacity for production this year. A large proportion of those who used it last year have voluntarily written us giving us an account of increased crops obtained through its use. We have arranged for the production of a larger amount this season and accordingly have decided to reduce the price on larger orders. In the future our five acre bottles will be furnished for S6.00 instead of $9.00 as heretofore. Fifty acres will be fur- nished at one time for $55.00 and one hun- dred acres at one time for $100.00. The price for single acres remains the same — and the garden size 50c. It is important that you send us your order as promptly as possible that we may have the nitrogen prepared and shipped from the laboratory to you quickly when you want it. Spring planting is now coming on, so that you should have the nitrogen on hand, ready for use when the weather is Just right. Reedman's Fertilizer is the best and cheapest way for you to increase this year's crops. We enclose booklet and order blank which we hope you will use now without laying it aside. Yours truly. A LETTER WITHOUT PERSONALITY Here is an actual example of how not to write a sales letter. This letter is totally lacking in personality and in appeal. There is no sequence of thought, or climax. The writer actually closes the letter by suggesting to the prospect tho very action that he does not wish him to taka. PERSONALITY 143 Dear Sir: Have you heard what Matthew Harper did, over on his farm near Sherrington? For three years Mr. Harper had been trying to get catches of clover and alfalfa, but the clover came up better than the alfalfa. Both were thin in spots, and each year the scorching August sun burned them both out. Then he heard about Alfaclo, which is only a trade name for the nitrogen germs (in liquid form) which all clovers and alfalfas demand. He tried out a bottle on his seed — and he got better results than he ever dreamed of. He got three cuttings of alfalfa, his clover was un- usually heavy, and he received 12 to 14 pounds more of cream per week from the same cattle this winter thcin he did last! Read the enclosed booklet. It tells you why Mr. Harper used Alfaclo. Alfaclo is alfalfa and clover insur- ance. Figure up the cost of how much you actually lose, if you do get a catch and then it winter kills, or burns up, or comes up so thin that you have to- plant it all over again. It is a good investment to pay $2.00 an acre for Alfaclo and to know your seed is properly inoculated. To get you acquainted with Alfaclo we enclose our coupon check. It is good for 50 cents worth of new garden seeds with every bottle of Alfaclo. Your order sent by mail will receive Just as careful attention as if you came in person to one of our stores. All you have to do is to fill out the enclosed order blemk. Check the kind of garden seeds you want and the number of bottles of Alfaclo, and mail it today. Yours very truly. Piques curiosity in easy, conver- sational style Touches reader's own problem Proof Persuasion Inducement Easy to order HOW GOOD PERSONALITY PRODUCES BUSINESS Here also is an actual sales letter, offering the same article as the letter ou the opposite page. Curiosity is piqued in the first sentence, and the reader's interest held through to the very last sentence. All the elements of the sales letter are carefully developed through the paragraphs. The letter is convincing. 144 The per- sonality of the letter must be pleasing A pleasing letter persojiality depends largely on the man-do- man attitude Note the friendly interest in this letter HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS at all, would have spoken of him simply as an employee. But this man recognized the value of the distinctive touch. Which letter gets your attention? Thus far we have been considering the value of orig- inality or individuality in the letter. But there is an- other element in letter personality. Go back to your salesman. It is not enough for him to have a striking personality — it must be attractive and pleasing as well. The egotist *s is usually a strong personality, for he is likely to have opinions of his own. However, he is so engrossed with his own affairs that he has no place for other men's interests. A salesman of this sort will not sell many goods. Likewise a letter may have a striking personality — ^be original, distinctive, clever — and yet fail to land the orders. It will fail if it takes the wrong attitude — if it emphasizes the writer's interests instead of the customer's. The chief element which gives the letter the right kind of personality is the man-to-man attitude assumed by the correspondent toward the reader. This attitude is partly the result of putting the **you element" in your letter (see the following chapter). The '*you ele- ment" requires that you shall talk of the customer's needs and show him how your article wiU meet those needs (page 145). But the man-to-man attitude means more than that. To use it successfully, you must talk of his needs as if you were interested in them and wanted to help hiuL You must show a friendly interest in his affairs. That is what attracts you in a man, and it is equally effective in a letter. The following letter to a banker strikes this note successfully : Dear Mr. Brown: As soon as I learned the other day that your bank was making special efforts to secure more depositors this winter, I had the manager of our printing department get the enclosed proof for you. It is really the most significant announcement that has been made to American bankers in years. And even though it is being printed in some of the big magazines, where you might see it, I PERSONALITY 145 Dear Sir: I think if I lived away from the seashore and somebody wrote me, offering to send me fish right from the boats, I'd be mighty pleased. I'd jump at the chance to get it. Perhaps it's because I'm 80 very fond of good fish, mackeral, codfish, and other kinds. But I don't believe I'm an exception — almost every- body I know likes good fish. You do, don't you? Then why not let me send you some of my kind? You'll find it altogether different from the store kind — differ- ent because it does come to your kitchen right from the fishing boats. My circular describes each kind fully and gives the deliv- ered prices. All there is for you to do is to tell me on the order blank what to send. Yours very truly. Eoiy reading and happy ttyU AU the "r* interest leadi up to a strong **you** interesi Short para- graphs help to hold attention to the end EVEN FRESH FISH CAN BE SOLD BY LETTER With this letter a fishing company on the Atlantic seaboard sold fresh fish to city folks living in Illinois. This chatty letter is a good example of the manner in which a correspondent may use "I'' and yet express interest in **yon." The tone of the letter is distinctly one of interest in the customer 'a needs. 146 HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Cam09 convie- tion from the •tart Termpting deterifHon Strong persuasion D«ar Sir: Commodore and Mayor William Halt Thompson was right, when he said. "Chicago, the greatest summer resort city in the world, has become a reality". When I bought the "Sea-Gull" last fall I for one looked forward to the most plea- surable spring, summer, and fall that I had ever had— and I had it, right here in Chicago. You see, with a boat, you don't have to follow any hot, narrow road, bounce over bumps, pay for new tires, or "eat other peoples' dust" as you do in an automobile. You are out on the broad, clear waters of the lake, with the city in perspective, your friends gu'ound you, an ice box full of cool ginger ale or something else down below, if you want it, bunks, lockers, toilet, electric lights, comfortable chairs to sit in, room to move around, power to take you anywhere you want to go — I don't ask for anything better. »^ ,^ learned how to run the two-cylinder "fool-proof" engine in an hour. It runs like a clock, and drives her along hour after hour at a nice clean eight-mile clip. With one-man control — throttle, spark, lights, etc., accessible from the steering wheel, you feel like a "regular" monarch, as you "roam the trackless deep" with no limitations or restrictions except your own inclinations. .. After the first wonderful cruises on the l£ike — steering the boat to any desired destination that fancy dictated, Jackson HOW A BOAT WAS SOLD BY MAIL An advertising man who owned the ''Sea-GulP' wrote this letter and sent it to a selected list of prospects. He sold his boat to good advantage. Inquiriet continued to come in. He took these to a boat broker and under an agreement with him received a commission of $50 on each deal closed by the broker. The PEBSONALITY 147 Park Harbor, Gary. Michigan City. Wilmette. Belmont Harbor, down the river to Lookport. up the north branch through the new drain- age oanal to Wilmette. then out in the lake and back to Chicago, or Just out around the municipal pier for an hour in the evening with a party of friends before tying up at the mooring for a picnic supper and evening of pleasure in the clear bracing air — I found that my whole point of view, my philosophy, my health, my pleasure and Joy in life, seemed to have taken on a broader character. To my mind the "Sea-Gull" is the staunchest. most sea-worthy, the best-built and the most satisfactory boat that I have seen around Chicago. I keenly regret that I must sell it. The boat cost over $5,000 to build. She is built extra strong all the way through with very complete equipment and with solid mahogany upper works and inter- ior finish — and you could not duplicate the boat anywhere as a second hand value for a cent less than $2,000. The fall is the slack season however, and I will let her go for $1,150 for a sale made before Christmas. Wouldn't you consider buying the "Sea-Gull"? Just drop me a line or phone me any time, and I will be glad to show you the "Sea-Gull". Yours very truly. Psrsuaaion ExjdanaHon thai prieparet prospect for reduced price Summarjf Proqf&ffered ihrowfh per' ionafinsveetum letter was reprinted with favorable comment in a well-known magazina, and read by the president of a large eastern corporation who called the writer by telephone, arranged for an interview and offered him the position of western advertising manager with a large increase in salary. The offer was accepted. This is only one example of the interesting history that surrounds many eales letters. Tempting description, strong persuasion, and enthusiasm give the letter a striking personality. I 148 This friendly attitude hegets himds But the friendly interest rmud not he obtrusive The letter vnth a personality is distinctive HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS am having this special proof sent to jou direct so that no circum- stance can deprive you of the opi)ortunit7 it offers. Here is a chance to secure — in complete, worked out form — the exact, practical plan you need to double or triple your busi- ness — etc. If you were a banker, would that letter get by you? It might, but I doubt it, for the moment you start to read the letter you must realize that someone is talking to you about a matter that is very important to you, and is talking as though he could help you and wanted to do it Of course, this friendly interest must not be made obtrusive. The degree of intimacy that you would use in a letter to a personal friend would be objectionable in a business letter to a stranger or even to an acquaint- ance. But if the offer is made tactfully, it is human nature to warm up to such an appeal. Try this appeal in your next sales letter, and watch the results. The letter with a personality— original, dis- tinctive, and written with this man-to-man touch — ^will untie the wallet strings where the custom-made letter goes to the basket It gets the business where the cold, formal, and impersonal communication falls on deaf ears. And this is true because the letter with a person- ality is "different." The letter on pages 146 and 147 is a striking example. CHAPTER XVI THE *TOU" INTEREST You would probably leap up in burning wrath if, to- morrow, you could see your sales letters kindling a hundred morning fires. At least you would want to know why your sales letters interest only the man who empties the waste-basket— why they fail in their appeal to the man who counts, the man whom you expected to make a customer. If you are to find the answer to this question, you must sit down and analyze your correspondence. You may find several faults, any one of which is perhaps enough to kill a letter. But unless you have the point in mind, you may overlook an apparently simple fault- simple because the word at issue is so small and seem- ingly insignificant. The effect, however, is not insig- nificant, for this little word indicates a mistaken point of view, a totally wrong attitude toward the prospect. ' As you analyze your correspondence, see if there is not too much '-we" in the opening paragraph. Then, as you push your investigation into the body of the letter, underscore each * * we ' * as you come to it. Haven *t you literally peppered your letter with this word! If you have, there is one answer to your question. From the beginning to the end, the average letter Why do your sales Utiera go to the reader*8 waste- basket? See if they haveuH too much "we** in them 150 The reader looks for ^'you" md A tailor who forgot *'you** I A manufac- turer who saw only his product HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS consists of **we" have this to offer, **we" contemplate this, and **we" intend to do that. But what does the reader care about what ' * we * ' do ? How are his interests affected by a statement regarding *'ours"t The words that interest him most in a letter are **you*' and * 'yours/' Forgetting this, the correspondent kills a hearing because he begins talking about his firm instead of about the reader, about **we*' instead of about *'you/' For example, a clothier writes me a letter : We are showing the most attractive line of spring and sum- mer woolens in the city. We assure you that the cue of every gar- ment will be the latest and up-to-the-minute in style. We pride ourselves on the reputation we have made as the outfitters of the best dressed men in the city, and we know that if you will give us a call, we can satisfy you. The writer of that letter was thinking more about his firm than he was about me and my needs. **We,'* not **you," was the important topic with him. Now suppose this writer had said : Mr. Smith, do you spend $15 more than you need to for a suit of clothes? Let us prove that this is the case by making you just as stylish and as wearable a suit for $35 as you have been paying $50 for. You will look better and feel better in the clothes, and at the same time you will be saving money. This letter keeps **you** and **your" interests in the foreground ; consequently it appeals directly to the cus- tomer. Again, a manufacturer writes: We have perfected and are now prepared to supply our new, patent-lined, double-rimmed, rust-proof, excelsior gas burner — the peer of them all. May we not receive your order to install these burners in your office f In this letter there is nothing which shows how the burner will benefit me. I am not an engineer, interested in the mechanical construction of a gas burner. The patent lining and the double rim are not of particular importance to me. The new appliance is worth while for me only if it cuts down my light bill or furnishes me a better light *'YOU" INTEREST 151 The writer of the following letter realizes that fact: In contrast, this one thought of ''your" light bUls Don't begin every sentence with **we'* See here, Mr. Gas Burner, you spend $2.50 a month more for gas light than you should, and yet in spite of this waste you are not getting the brilliant illumination you are paying for. I can cut your gas bills in two, give you better, clearer, brighter light, and save you $2.50 a month. And the whole outlay to you will be simply the price of our new gas burners. This letter makes a very different impression, and as a result, after reading it I probably would have hurried to the mail box with a money order. Forget yourself and talk about the other man's profits, needs, desires. Look at your proposition from his point of view, and he will readily see it from yours. Don't begin your letter and every other sentence with **we." You may be the ruling power in your own world, but your reader doesn't know it. To himself he is the king of his own little kingdom. He has so many things to think about that he isn't interested in what you are doing. And yet he is the man you must get close to if you expect to get any of his money. He is interested only when he is sure of getting some money himself. I at once became alive to the proposition when I received this letter : Mr. Betailer: Why is it that you — ^the retailer — ^are compelled to lose more good hard cash through bad debts than any other man in business! Every month you have to charge up to bad debts, scores of good fat accounts that dead-beats refuse to pay. Mrs. Jones puts you off; Mrs. Smith tells you to wait; and so it goes — season aiter season. You could almost start a new store with the money lost by local retailers through bad debts. Now suppose we could tell you how to stop this; suppose we could tell you of a simple collection scheme used by one retailer down in Illinois that enabled him to make thirty of his hardest and slowest customers pay up — ^penny for penny — ^the hundreds of dol- lars they owed him. Wouldn't you jump at the chance to get itf Now, then, in the book described by the circular enclosed, you i olfc about can get this very collection system; the simplest, most successful collection system ever devised; a system that does not require the assistance of an expensive collector ; a system that you can operate without help — and the only expense is the cost of two or three two-cent stsunps. That is the kind of letter that jars money from my cash drawer. The guns of attractive argument and "you* 152 HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS Farmed — **our'* iUKk Our" itylet 'Our** oxfordt **Our" guarantee "Our'* catalogue Dear Sir: Accept our thanks for your favor Just received. We are glad of this opportunity to forward you a catalogue showing the styles which we carry in our stockroom ready for immediate use. Of course it is impossible to show all the styles which we make. The illustrations shown, simply represent some of the season's best sellers as selected by the leading retailers from our two hundred and fifty styles designed by our selling force. Our shoes are correct in every sense of the word. Our oxfords possess superior fitting qualities. They do not gap at the ankle; they fit close and do not slip at the heel; they are the coolest shoe for summer. We have them in green, red, tan black and patent. Our guarantee is something that is of vital importance to you if you oare to be assured of full value for your money spent. We can make any style required if you fail to find illustrated in our catalogue just the shoe you desire at the present time. We will forward the shoes prepaid upon receipt of your order with price, and will strive to serve you in a most satis- factory manner. Yours very truly. THE *^WE" LETTER LACKS DIRECTNESS AND FORCE J Nothing robs a letter of directness more than a lack of the *'you'' element This man tries to sell a pair of shoes by talking not about the prospect and his. needs but about himself and his product. Note the prevalence of **our" and **we" in every paragraph. Half of the words are mere machinery. (( YOU'* INTEREST Dear Mr. Sheldon: What is more uncomfortable and aggra- vating than an ill-fitting shoe? Make up your mind that for once in your life you will have a shoe that satis- fies you to the smallest detail — a shoe that does not slip at the heel or pinch at the toe, a shoe that will not wrinkle or run over at the side. The catalogue you requested is going to you todeiy under separate cover. I want peurticularly to call your attention to the new "Easy Last" style on page 37. This may be Just what you were looking for. But it is only one of the 54 attractive styles you will find illustrated. Select the style and finish that you like best, then simply fill in on the order blamk, the number, size, and width you want, and mail to us today. With this information to guide us we will send you, all charges prepaid, the very day that your order is received, a pair of shoes that will fit you perfectly. Do not miss this opportunity to obtain real, genuine shoe comfort. Send your order at once — today. Yours very truly. 153 **Your**»ho$ trouUei **Your** wants **Your** com- fort assured "Vour" wante iupTplied **Your** choice *'Your** oppor tunity gratped THE *'YOU" LETTER TALKS LIKE A GOOD SALESMAN In this rehandling of the shoe proposition on the opposite page the dealer comes over to the customer's side, just as a clever salesman would, and turns in to help him **get a fit.*' So the entire letter shows an understanding of "your" shoe troubles and **your" needs, and offers **you" satisfaction. 151 Show interest in the custom- er's needs A Hre manu- facturer who did not I An engine manufac- turer who did m HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS effective salesmanship are leveled directly at me. I must either get out of the way or stand and take the shot. I buy because **you and your collections'* has been the attitude of the letter. I am not interested in your proposition until you have shown some interest in my affairs. And you can never make me believe that you are really interested in me by everlastingly harping on **we." A tire manufacturer answers my inquiry with this : We have your favor of the fourteenth stating that you are in- terested in our advertisement of Wonder Tires. We are enclosing our Wonder booklet which illustrates and describes our Wonder tread. We would be very glad to give you any further informa- tion and our best price. Trusting that you will insist on Wonder Tires, we are, yours very truly. Now I was interested in the advertisement, but is there one single reason in that **we'' spotted letter why I should continue to be interested, why I should ** insist'' on having Wonder Tires? What I wanted from that manufacturer was tire talk that applied to me. His in- terest in the deal was obvious. It was mine that was essential to a sale. And that letter killed it. Contrast it with this from a manufacturer who would sell me an engine : You know what a nuisance it is to set out to equip a boat and find that you haven 't got this and you haven 't got that. Before you finish, it has coat a quarter or a third more than you figured on. Customers have often asked us: **What does your equip- ment include! Why don't you make it complete?" That's just what we're trying to do from now on — ^we are going to **put in everything." And what's more, we're going to pay tiie freight. That man is talking to me. He knows my boat troubles. He's talking to me in my own boat house, and I read on through his description and sales argument with interest, because I feel from the first word that the writer of that letter understands my needs. To be a successful writer you must talk about your customer and his affairs. See that you get the word you" in the opening sentence. For example: << ''YOU" INTEREST Tou can make a larger profit if you sell Dufii 's Molasses, than if you don 't. Your customers want Duff 's Molasses, and they are going to get it 'somewhere. You can make big profits by getting in line early, — and so on. The grocer is interested in this proposition because it offers to put money in his cash drawer. There is no more interesting proposition to him than that. When he reads this letter, he must decide whether he will order and make good profits, or stand idly by while his com- petitor gathers in the benefits. And now when you have just about determined to inject some of the '*you" element into your letters, culti- vate the ability to get over on the buyer's side and look at your proposition through his eyes. A good sales- man never mentions the selling end of his game; he emphasizes the buying point (pages 152 and 153). You may think it selfish, but I repeat that the nearest subject to me is me. The most interesting theme with you is you. It is a human trait — ^as infallible as a phys- ical law. 155 This letter means money to the grocer The "you element" means em- phasizing the buying points — not the selling points ' m\ INDEX Acknowledging order, letter 25, 30 — how to begin §0 — how to close 31 — when goods are shipped 30 — when goods are not shipped 30 Adjustment letter 29 Advance in price 107 Appeal, to appetite In sales letter 77 — to fear in sales letter 77 Appeals, various human interest 77 Application, letter of 20 — business experience, how to state 21 — education, covering your 21 — essential element in 20 — how to start It 20 — qualifications, how to state 20 — references and personal history 21 Arguments, distributing in sales 'ol- low-up 127 — effective arrangement l^o Arrangement, common errors in 14 — well-balanced 15 Attention §8 —advantages of display head 70 — combined with interest 74 — different from interest 74 — disadvantages of display bead 72 — ^formal vs. personal be^nning 69 — form for first sentence 73 — ^in acknowledging inquiries 69 — ^in sales letter 61 — in two classes of sales letters 68 — in unsolicited sales letter 70 —."irritating" display head 72 — ^modified display head 73 — psychology of display head 72 — two ways of winning, illustrated 71 — use display head cautiously 73 —winning it at the start 68 B Brevity 19 Cablegram 24 Curbon copies 13 • }2 Clearness 19 Climax, see also Summary and climax — in sales letter 66 — purpose — the clincher 110 110 -—the summary and 110 — two parts of the Clincher — coupon, serially numbered — coupon, when bad -guarantee blank 110 110 116 116 116 — how to use coupon or return card 114 — makes ordering easy 111 —what it does 111, 117 Collection letter 43 — a five-letter series shown 54-56 — appeal to debtor's pride 49 — appeal to ease 50 — appeal to fear 50 — appeal to sense of fair play 49 — arguments for payment 48 — a series analyzed 53, 58 — asking explanation of non-payment 47 —collection talk proper 47 — dealing with customer's reply 47 — dignified "need the money ' argu- ment 49 — effect of series shown 59 — elements of 46 — forms of notification 46 — getting the right tone 44 —"hard up" plea 45 — how it differs from sales letter 43 — if explanation is satisfactory 48 — if explanation is unsatisfactory 48 — keeping customer's good will 45 — ^kinds of debtors 48 — making it easy to pay 61 — personal appeals 49 — regarding the debt as an obliga- tion 44 — request to "pay now" 51 — sales talk in 51 — showing personal interest in debtor 45 — statement of account 46 — summary of elements in 52 — use of forms 44 Complaint letter 82 — an untactful reply to 36 —^ specimen complaint 36 — attitude, angry 39 — attitude, flippant 39 — attitude, suspicious 89 — <:las8es of complaints 33 —effect of methods of handling com- plaints 34 — fault undetermined 38 — ^house at fault, claim granted 33 — house not at fault but claim cranted 35 — house not at fault, claim refused 33 — how mistake was made 40 — how mistake will be rectified 41 — how to concede justice of com- plaint 35 — how salesman feels about mistake 41 158 INDEX 'Mi —object of adjnatmeot 82 — prompt reply to 40 — pattlntr yourself in a false posi- tion In 38 — satisfying the customer 88 — tactful reply to 37 — variation of elements In reply to 42 — writer's attitude 32 — wrong and right way to handle _ complaints 34, 35 Contract letters 26 Coupon, bad when complicated 116 — or return card 114 — serially numbered 110 Credit information, reply to letter asking for 27 — requests for 25 — where obtained 26 Customer, how to visualize 9 — keeping his good will 45 Customer letter ordering goods 27 — accurate description necessary 28 — metliod of payment 28 — shipping instructions 28 — three chief elements 27 C*ustomers, how to classify 9 Dealer help letter — bad example — good example Description, see Explanation and scription — in sales letter Development of the business letter Direct sales letter — repetition of arguments In Display head, advantages of — disadvantages of — in sales letter — "Irritating" head — modified form of —psychology of —use with caution de- 132 183 183 68 7 119 120 70 72 70 72 78 72 78 E Blements, In sales follow-up aeries 128 — of answer to a complaint letter 40 — of collection letter 02 —of sales letter 62 Enclosures, as proof 93 — ^value of descriptive 87 Bxhortation, how to use 06 — type of persuasion 96 Explanation and description 81 — effective suggestion in 87 — examples of general and Bpeclile 85 — examples showing reader's point of view 84 — how to make It vivid 82 — how to start gi — make It specific 86 — more detail In less familiar arti- cles 83 — new wajs to express old Ideas 86 — original phraseology — pick details to fit the reader — points of superiority In article — reader's point of view — select details carefully — value of enclosures raise Inducements Form letters, and sales follow-op — dealer help — need not be impersonal — supplied to dealer Forms, In collecting by mall Free trial — as proof 6 "Ginger-up" letter — ^good example of Qaarantee blank 103, Indentation Inducement — advance in price — free trial — In sales letter — kinds of — "limited supply" warning — low prices, dull season — naturally expressed — one that pulled many orders — ^reduced price — relation to persuasion — various kinds suggested — warning against false —-what it means — what it should do Interest appeal to appetite •^^ppeal to fear — combined with attention — dilferent from attention — example of "human Interest* appeal — "human interest" story — methods of arousing —-mingled elements in winning — specimen letter showing — the news story — the reader's, not yours — touching reader's problem — 'Various human interest appeals — 'Ways to create — when necessary to create — won by comparisons Introduction, letter of Inquiry, letter of — a good reply to a Inqolry, reply to 108 131 132 182 132 44 107 88 184 134 116 17 103 107 107 66 104 104 107 105 106 107 104 107 108 103 108 77 77 74 74 76 76 74 76 76 77 79 78 77 79 80 78 19 25 26 INDEX K *'Keyinfl^*' methods used in — repues to sales letter 181 130 Low prices, dull season M 107 Make-np of letter, accepted standards 12 —engraved or printed stationery 13 envelope address —errors in arrangement —indentation —margins — name, address, and date — 'neatness, value of — size of envelope — size of sheet — spacing — well-balanced arrangement Margins "Money back," in proof 18 14 17 16 16 18 13 12 17 15 16, 17 89 N Name, address and date News story, in arousing interest News value — a letter on canaries —drawn from your business — examples of effective use — examples of trade news — how It was put to work — miscellaneous topics —public topics T— trade topics — two kinds of stories — ^wliat it will do 16 77 135 139 139 136 138 137 130 135, 136 135, 138 135 139 O Ordering goods, letters 25 Personality, a letter with it 148 — a letter without it 142 — at beginning and end 141 —depends on man-to-man attitude 144 — ^friendly letter begets friends 148 — ^Mendly Interest, example of 144 — friendly Interest must not be obtrusive 148 — In a letter selling a boat 146, 147 — in a letter selling fish — letter like a salesman — makes letter distinctive — means partly originality — must be pleasing 159 145 140 148 141 144 -requires nreshness of expression 141 Personal tone, avoid stereotyped phrases 10 — classifying customers 9 — closing the letter 11 — creating a typical customer 9 — how to secure it 8 — looking at customer as an individ- ual 8 ^-opening the letter 10 — talking to the "average" man 10 — ^visualizing the customer 9 — ^wbat it means 8 Persuasion 96 — a good example of 08 — a letter lacking in 90 — combined with other elements 100 — examples of suggestive 100 — exhortation, one type of 96 — effect of exhortation 06 — how to use exhortation 96 —"injured dignity" letter 101 — in sales letter 63 — object of 102 — promise of gain — showing prospect benefit — ^suggesting benefits — two types of — warning in use of — ^what it does Power of the business letter Proof, by a free trial — enclosures — example of convincing — for every claim — Indirect — in sales letter — insincerity, cause of — insincerity, remedy for — "money back" — reference to authorities — samples enclosed — scientific — suggesting simple tests — testimonials —testimonials, modified — tone of sincerity necessary to bow be Q Quotations, writing for 28 R Recommendation, letter of 22 Reduced price 107 Reference letter 22 — example of a good one 23 References, in letter of application 21 Return card 114 li V V 160 INDEX 118, 119 126 121, Sales follow*up series — arrangement of arguments — a successful series — dealer help letter — direct sales — distributing arguments in — elements in — form letters — general publicity — "ginger-up" letter — how elements vary in — how to handle replies — how to handle the "split" — "keeping" methods used in — length of letters — repetition of arguments — trying out the arrangement — two classes of follow-up — series analyzed — test, how to conduct — test "keeping" replies — test, picking places for — test, value of — ^what each letter does — what it does — when inquiry only — ^when Inquiry swers — why necessary Sales letter — a good specimen — a bad specimen — arrangement of — climax —description — elements compared with sales- man's talk — getting attention —how to plan — inducement — leading up to buying point — leagth of — one that failed — one that won — persuasion — principles of salesmanship In — proof — six elements of — specimen, illustrating elements — "the whip" in a Salesmanship in a letter Sales talk in collection letter Samples, as proof Scientific proof needs one answer needs several an- 125 132 119 127 128 131 119 134 129 127 128 131 129 120 126 119 126 129 130 130 131 120 118 128 127 118 60 65 64 60 66 63 61 61 61 66 115 129 112 113 63 60 63 61 62 67 60 60 89 92 Spacing, single vs. double •Split" In sales follow-up Standards in letter make-up Stationery, engraved or printed — standard size envelope — standard size sheet — variations in size Stereotyped phrases Summary and climax, another kind of clincher 117 — clincher 110 — clincher, what it does 111 — coupon 114, 116 — coupon, serially numbered 116 — guarantee blank 116 — purpose illustrated 109 17 128 12 13 13 12 13 10 Telegram 24 Test, for sales follow-up series 126 — how to conduct 129 — "keying" replies 130 — methods used in "keying" replies 131 — selecting places for — rvalue of Tests, as proof Testimonials, as proof — modified Tone of the modern business letter Typewriter ribbons 130 131 92 m 03 7 18 w "Whip,- In a sales letter m "You" interest — a letter with it, analyzed — a letter without It, analyzed — customer's needs forgotten — customer's needs remembered — emphasizes buying points — examples of — examples of lack of — how to get it — means profit from a letter — waste-basket letters — what reader lookg for 149 158 152 154 154 155 151 150 161 156 149 150 ft i ! I ' li AUG2 91994 * NE Date Due D247.5 Smart How to ,^e business letters. O a. H 7 . JT COLUMBIA UNIVERS Hill 0041394470 ^t-i a^ / L TY LIBRARIES i i ii i l ii HiilMfcii ll ' END OF TITLE