THE 
 
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 A, _- 
 
 
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 PARENT’S 
 
 PART 
 
 ISSUED BY THE 
 
 New Jersey State Department of Health 
 
 BUREAU OF VENEREAL DISEASE CONTROL 
 
 TRENTON, NEW JERSEY 
 
THE KIND OF PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE 
 GIVEN RY THE PARENTS OF THE 
 PAST GENERATION 
 
THE PARENT’S PART 
 
 You were shocked to hear that the number of deaths resulting 
 from the influenza epidemic in 1918 was greater than the total losses 
 among the American troops during the war. Is it any less a shock 
 to know that the Army lost more days of service on account of 
 venereal disease than from any other disease? One hundred and 
 ninety-seven thousand such cases were reported in the Army camps 
 during the 15 months ending November, 1918. This meant a loss 
 of approximately two and one-half million training days. Is it 
 any wonder that the Surgeon General of the Army stated that if it 
 were possible to rid his men either of all wounds or of all venereal 
 diseases he would rather rid them of the venereal cases? 
 
 But venereal disease is not, primarily, a military problem or a 
 war-time epidemic. Estimates show that one man contracted the 
 disease after entering the service to every five before entering it. 
 This means that the source of disease is in civilian communities— 
 your communities. The draft, with its examination of the nation’s 
 men, resulted in digging underneath the sod of every-day life and 
 showing that out of sight in your town, in your state, there is going 
 on yearly an untold waste of manhood, womanhood, and childhood 
 by the ravages of these diseases. 
 
 Being highly contagious, they have entered homes and marriage 
 relations. Women and children, not knowing the cause, have suf¬ 
 fered from them for generations. Innocent young wives, previously 
 healthy, have been mutilated by necessary surgical operations, some 
 have been made invalids, many have remained childless, and others 
 have lost life itself. Babies have been born dead or defective; others 
 have become blind a few hours after birth. 
 
 This is in addition to the thousands of men who, thinking they 
 were cured by patent remedies, have been visited years later by 
 sterility, paralysis, and insanity. 
 
 PREVENTABLE DISEASES 
 
 Nor is this terrible waste of health and life inevitable. Syphilis 
 and gonorrhea must be classed as preventable contagious diseases. 
 We know and can identify through the microscope the germs which 
 cause them. We know and can locate many of the personal carriers. 
 Exposure to them can be practically minimized to the vanishing 
 
 3 
 
Comparative prevalence of Venereal Diseases and other important 
 communicable diseases in the U. S. Army. 
 
 Venereal Diseases 
 
 102.3 
 
 Other Communicable Diseases 
 
 29.4 
 
 Pneumonia, scarlet fever, typhoid The figures above represent the annual rate 
 and paratyphoid. (Measles not in- per 1,000 for all troops In the United States 
 eluded.) based on the reports from September 21, 1917, 
 
 to May 31, 1918. These figures are accurate 
 for purposes of comparison only. Prepared 
 from reports to the Surgeon General of the Army. 
 
 Comparison of the number of cases of Venereal Disease contracted 
 before and after enlistment. 
 
 Before enlistment 
 
 After enlistment 
 
 1 
 
 The number of cases before en¬ 
 listment includes all uncured cases, 
 old and new, as compared with the 
 new cases contracted after enlist¬ 
 ment. The great contrast, however, 
 is mainly due to the better protec¬ 
 tion given to soldiers than is given 
 most men and boys in civil life. 
 
 The above estimate Is based on reports from 
 Camps Sherman, Lee, Upton, Meade, Custer, 
 Kearney, and the Western Department from 
 October 25, 1917, to May 10, 1918. (See Ve¬ 
 nereal Disease Control in the Army. W. F. Snow, 
 M. D., and W. A. Sawyer, M. D., Majors, M. R. 
 C., U. S. Army. Journal American Medical 
 Ass’n, August 10, 1918, p. 456.) 
 
 point if we eliminate the entirely unnecessary and harmful contacts 
 of irregular sexual intercourse. After the success of the army 
 camps in prevention by suppression of prostitution, education, 
 recreation and early treatment, we have an exact method of attack 
 upon them. 
 
 Public health authorities throughout the country are now organ¬ 
 izing to carry on the fight against this health menace. Practically 
 all of the methods found successful in the army will be utilized. A 
 far-reaching and important part of the program, however, will be 
 prevention by education. 
 
 SHALL YOU TEACH YOUR CHILD? 
 
 Medical officers found that the men in the army camps revealed 
 a surprising ignorance and misinformation on the whole subject of 
 sex and sex diseases. Thousands had acted on the mistaken belief 
 that sex relations are necessary to health, only to find their health 
 impaired by a serious venereal infection. Large numbers thought 
 that gonorrhea, especially disastrous in its effect upon innocent 
 women, is “no worse than a bad cold.” A list of the superstitions 
 and untruths that these men believed forms a terrible indictment 
 against the instruction offered in our homes. And the diseases that 
 these men brought into the army to handicap their usefulness in 
 war were, according to their own admissions, largely the products 
 of the attempt to keep children in a blessed state of ignorance and 
 innocence regarding sex. 
 
 4 
 
Much was done in the army to correct the mistaken ideas of 
 these men. But to be most effective this information must begin 
 much earlier. The most important preventive against later vice and 
 venereal disease is the proper education of the children with regard 
 to sex. Your part as parents in this campaign, then, is to instruct 
 your own boy and girl. You can not exempt yourself from this 
 responsibility. 
 
 Do you think that while the neighbor's children may need some 
 such information , your own children will never have any such need? 
 It is no longer possible for you to choose whether your child will 
 learn about sex or not. The only question you have to decide is 
 whether he or she will learn from you or from someone else. If 
 there ever was any justification for the hope that a boy or girl could 
 grow up entirely innocent of all knowledge of sex matters, that hope 
 is forever gone. For better or for worse, the prudery and the silence 
 connected with love, passion, temptation, marriage, and vice are 
 being replaced by an abundance of discussion and interpretation in 
 literature, drama, especially in the “movies.” From these sources— 
 or from the much worse and unreliable gossip of companions, adver¬ 
 tisements of quack doctors and patent medicines—your boy and 
 girl will receive their sex information unless you yourself offer them 
 something better and truer. 
 
 You would, furthermore, by your very silence and evasion of 
 the subject be giving the wrong kind of sex education. You 
 would be indicating unmistakably to your child that sex is some¬ 
 thing nasty or vulgar and not to be discussed with you. You are 
 cutting off his confidence on this most important problem and 
 condemning him to secret and unreliable channels. 
 
 It is not natural for your children to be uninterested in the vivid 
 drama of the renewal of life they see about them. Only an abnor¬ 
 mally dull child fails to be curious about such things. If your child 
 remains silent about these matters or fails to ask any questions, in 
 nine cases out of ten it is getting information from other people. 
 If you have refused to answer your child’s natural questions about 
 these matters, you can be assured that these same questions are 
 asked and answered from sources of which you would be ashamed. 
 
 EVIDENCE OF THE NEED OF INFORMATION 
 
 Do you think that only the children with abnormal surroundings 
 —the children that are seen in juvenile courts, jails and detention 
 homes—are in need of sex instruction? Testimony taken from men 
 coming from homes above the average and selected by our educa¬ 
 tional system as intelligent enough for a college education, show the 
 
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same need convincingly. An inquiry was made among approxi¬ 
 mately 1,000 such college men in representative institutions of the 
 East, Middle West, and West. The replies were manifestly sincere. 
 While students may be no better morally than men outside college, 
 they are not below the average. Furthermore, there is evidence to 
 show that the replies understate rather than overstate the preva¬ 
 lence of sexual practices. In other words, conditions are probably 
 as bad as, if not worse than, the conditions indicated by their state¬ 
 ments. The conclusions from this study are as follows: 
 
 (1) A large majority of boys get their first permanent impres¬ 
 sions about sex from improper sources before the age of twelve. 
 The average age is nine and one-half years. Many testify to the 
 unfortunate effect of these early impressions received from older 
 boys and undesirable sources. One man writes: "The effect was 
 decidedly bad. It gave me a sense of bewilderment and a wrong 
 idea of the workings of nature.” Another says: "The effect was 
 decidedly harmful. What I learned was so different from my ideas 
 of human reproduction that I had formed from the myths told me 
 by my parents that I lost my respect for them.” Many of these men 
 expressed bitterness against their parents for having failed to give them 
 clean , helpful information . 
 
 (2) The ideas received from improper sources have often led 
 to some form of sexual practice, most often between the ages of 
 twelve and fifteen years. 
 
 (3) Instruction in the past, when given at all, generally has been 
 about four to six years too late. When it has been given by parent 
 or teacher it has been helpful, even though crude and meager. One 
 young man writes: "It served as a starting point to keep me in the 
 right direction.” Another says: "It had a good influence. Instead 
 of picking up distorted knowledge, I got the facts from someone I 
 could believe.” And another: "It gave me a deep sense of responsi¬ 
 bility for the protection of womankind.” 
 
 Although no such extensive study has been made regarding the 
 influence on young girls of miseducation, such information as has 
 been gathered shows that more harm results through ignorance than 
 most fathers and mothers would be willing to believe. There is evi¬ 
 dence that if the girl grows up and leaves a well-protected home in 
 complete ignorance of the normal facts of sex life—of sexual rela¬ 
 tions, prostitution and venereal diseases—she is more in danger of 
 serious shock upon learning these facts than if they were presented 
 gradually and naturally in the confidences between mother and 
 daughter. 
 
 Public health officers, who are constantly coming into touch with 
 
the victims of vice and disease, substantiate this testimony as to the 
 imperative need for sex instruction of boys and girls. Some of the 
 cases coming into their venereal clinics are mere children whose acts 
 in contracting the disease can be ascribed only to their pitiable 
 ignorance—for which their elders, not they, are responsible. 
 
 YOUR RESPONSIBILITY 
 
 Sex education includes the study of the whole process of repro¬ 
 duction and the nurture of children, the meaning of marriage, prosti¬ 
 tution, venereal diseases, illegitimacy, and the hygiene of sound 
 recreation. These can not be taught at any one time or place. The 
 cooperation of the homes, the churches, the schools, the press, clubs, 
 and societies in your community is necessary. 
 
 But you as parent must always be the most important and 
 effective adviser of your children in sex matters. Your home is 
 the natural place for satisfying their early curiosity, directing their 
 adolescent energy and building up habits of self-control. Indeed, 
 all that other agencies can do to give your children accurate knowl¬ 
 edge and a wholesome point of view will be nullified if you fail to 
 do your part. 
 
 YOUR PREPARATION 
 
 The first and principal requirement of you as parent in teaching 
 your children the facts of sex is that you be truthful. The principal 
 defect of mothers and fathers in the past has been that they have not 
 told the plain truth, that they have practiced deceit of one kind or 
 another and lost forever the confidence of their children. To keep 
 the line of communication open between you and your children 
 through all their youthful struggles is the best guarantee that they 
 will be properly informed. But you destroy this easy approach if 
 you fail to be honest with them when they come to you. 
 
 In the second place it is necessary that you have the right atti¬ 
 tude yourself on the subject of the relation of the sexes. If you think 
 of sex as something vulgar and nasty you will be very likely to pass 
 on this dangerous viewpoint to torment another generation. From 
 the very first the child should be made to feel the sacredness of 
 parenthood. He will naturally think of it in this way if you do not 
 interpose a foolish embarrassment or taboo. To know about sex 
 truly is to realize that it is intimately connected with the mental, 
 physical, and moral welfare of the individual and the race, and that 
 it is a subject full of purity, nobleness, and health. Do not pass on 
 to your daughter the prudery and repressed feelings which will 
 result in needless worry and misunderstanding for her years later 
 
 8 
 
when she marries. This frankness in the home will not prevent 
 you from teaching your child that it is perfectly proper to discuss 
 with you many things about which it is improper to speak to 
 others. 
 
 In the third place it may be necessary to prepare yourself by 
 reading some reliable book or pamphlets on the subject. Do not 
 underestimate your own ability, however. The average adult knows 
 enough facts to satisfy the child’s curiosity in every essential way. 
 It is not necessary to know the facts of biology as an expert or to 
 have a medical knovdedge of venereal diseases. The simple truths 
 you know' are vffiat the child needs. Do not mystify the child by 
 using w r ords he can not understand. Plain, simple language should 
 be used here as in everything else you explain to him. The mystery 
 of the process of the renew'al of life itself is sufficient to give the 
 subject dignity without additional use of allegorical words. Some 
 books on this subject are not reliable and parents should be careful 
 about the ones they choose. In general, it may be said that the 
 pamphlets now being issued by the state boards of health are more 
 satisfactory than most books. Many of the best libraries, however, 
 are now issuing circulars giving the titles of the most reliable books 
 on the sex problem. 
 
 INSTRUCTION OF THE CHILD BEFORE PUBERTY 
 
 Your task in the instruction of the child before he reaches the 
 age of puberty is a comparatively simple but very important one. 
 Puberty is the period w'hen bodily sexual development is especially 
 noticeable. It begins wnth girls at about eleven to thirteen years of 
 age, and in boys at about thirteen to fifteen years. Before this time 
 your chief problem is answering questions. 
 
 As early as six or seven the child seems transformed into a 
 human question mark. Here is the beginning of sex education. Plis 
 curiosity at this period about the origin of life is nothing special or 
 morbid. It is a part of his general curiosity about all things that 
 move and change and grow. Leaving his question unanswered does 
 not satisfy his curiosity. Answering the question does satisfy that 
 curiosity—at least for the time being. Granted that the less children 
 think about sex the better, the essential fact to be borne in mind 
 is that curiosity and interest are aroused by those things that the 
 child does not know about, not those that he knows about. 
 
 All the questions w r ill not be asked at once nor should all possible 
 questions be answered at once. Neither is it likely that the child 
 wall absorb all the information at one time. It is often the experience 
 of parents that children ask about some of the essential facts a 
 
 o 
 
number of times before they remember them. These questions are 
 a sign of healthy attitude. 
 
 It may be necessary to postpone an answer to a question about 
 which you need more information, but if this is done in the same 
 frank way you would postpone any other subject, you will not lose 
 your child’s confidence. 
 
 If a child asks no questions at all, because he has the idea that 
 it is in some way improper to mention such matters, or has had his 
 curiosity satisfied from other sources, you should make an opening 
 for the discussion of the necessary aspects of the subject. Every 
 bit of information about the normal side of sex that is given your 
 child during this period before puberty is so much gain. Later, 
 during adolescence, when your boy or girl is undergoing new per¬ 
 sonal experiences and acquiring new sensitiveness, it is much harder 
 to give this information. 
 
 You may have the problem of giving correct sex information 
 after you have already deceived your children with the fable about 
 the stork, or turned them away without satisfying their innocent 
 inquiries. Your only possible course in such case is to inform the 
 child that the stork story is a fable similar to many other childhood 
 myths which one believes for a while and then is disillusioned. 
 After that, proceed to establish confidence by telling the truth. 
 
 During the years before puberty, when the opportunities offer, 
 you should warn your boy and girl against handling the sex organs 
 except for the purpose of cleansing them. In the case of your boy 
 you should see that the sex organ is kept free from irritating sub¬ 
 stances beneath the foreskin. Circumcision may be necessary to 
 decrease the irritation and assist him in keeping clean. 
 
 It is impossible to give an accurate schedule of just what all 
 children should know at certain ages. The environment of both 
 boys and girls varies so widely that no general rule applies. The 
 safest guide to the time of giving sex information before puberty is 
 your children’s questions themselves. 
 
 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS 
 
 Certain questions arise in the minds of nearly all boys and girls 
 in some form or other before the age of adolescence. These ques¬ 
 tions may come at intervals of weeks, months, or even years. Sam¬ 
 ples of such questions and satisfactory answers are given here. 
 
 i. “Where did the baby come from?" or “ Where did the puppies 
 
 come from?" 
 
 “Babies grow inside their mothers’ bodies, just as little birds 
 
 1 ! 
 
in a nest. The birds hatch from the eggs, and when their wings 
 grow they leave the nest. After the baby has growm for many 
 weeks in the mother’s body it comes out of the body and we say 
 it is born.” 
 
 2 . “How is the baby born ?” 
 
 “All girls and women have a passageway in their bodies 
 which enlarges enough to let the baby come out when it is strong 
 enough. This passageway opens at the low r er part of the body. 
 We should never touch that part of the body except to keep it 
 clean, or we might harm it.” (This question offers a starting 
 point to warn girls against masturbation or self-abuse. Boys 
 should have the question answered satisfactorily, but the warn¬ 
 ing against self-abuse might better be related to the explana¬ 
 tion of the male sex glands and the value of their secretions 
 in promoting vigor. This explanation is given simply and 
 clearly in pamphlets for boys published by state boards of 
 health. 
 
 5 . “Does it hurt to have the baby born? Why does the doctor 
 come when the baby is born?" 
 
 “Yes; it hurts the mother, but she is so happy to have a baby 
 all her own that she forgets the pain soon. The doctor comes 
 to take care that the baby is born safely.” (Do not emphasize 
 the suffering of childbirth in talking to a child.) 
 
 4 . “Can I tell Jack how a baby is born? He told me the doctor 
 brings the baby in a satchel .” 
 
 “No; some parents don’t tell their children anything about 
 this, and they don’t want anyone else to tell them. Never talk 
 to anyone about these things without asking me.” (This advice 
 may be futile. But it is far better for the truths to be spread 
 among children than the untruths so usually communicated.) 
 
 5 . “What does it mean to be half Shepherd and half St. 
 Bernard?" 
 
 “The dog is half Shepherd and half St. Bernard because one 
 of his parents was a Shepherd dog and the other w r as a St. 
 Bernard. Ail little dogs must have a father and mother. Birds 
 have a father and a mother, too, just as babies must have a 
 father and mother.” 
 
 (This explanation may often satisfy a child completely. He 
 may, however, ask more about the father part in reproduction. 
 Although this is the most delicate subject of all to treat frankly, 
 it is necessary to be sufficiently definite to allay curiosity, and 
 
 12 
 
it is the great opportunity to arouse in the boy and girl a 
 fundamental respect for reproduction and to fortify them against 
 vulgar talk and improper use of the sex organs. The explana¬ 
 tion may be continued, illustrating with plants and animals, 
 somewhat as follows): 
 
 “The seed is inside the mother flower, but it doesn’t grow 
 into a new flower until the pollen dust has mixed with it. Every 
 life begins with the mixing of the seeds. Every grown-up 
 animal and every grown-up man and woman have tiny bits of 
 life or seeds inside their bodies which have to come together 
 before new life can start. A part of their bodies is fitted by 
 nature for this purpose. Sometimes, as in the case of a fish, 
 the seeds come together in the outside water. But in dogs and 
 birds and people, they mix in the mothers’ bodies, where they 
 can be much better taken care of.” 
 
 ADOLESCENCE 
 
 As your child approaches adolescence, which begins at the time 
 of puberty, questions become less frequent. If confidence has been 
 firmly established it is likely that much valuable information will 
 have been imparted by answering questions in a simple, natural way. 
 But it will probably be necessary for you to give information volun¬ 
 tarily about the important sex changes taking place. 
 
 Your boy and girl should understand that the new sensations 
 and impulses that come to them at this time are indications that 
 their bodies are being prepared for the duties and responsibilities 
 of motherhood and fatherhood. 
 
 Your boy should understand that seminal emissions at night 
 generally begin at about fifteen or sixteen, that they are normal and 
 that no attention need be paid to them unless the occurrence is 
 oftener than two or three times a month. He should also under¬ 
 stand that the external sex glands manufacture a secretion which is 
 absorbed by the blood, thus contributing greatly to the vigor of 
 manhood. Boys should not be frightened by exaggerated statements 
 regarding the effect of self-abuse, but they should understand that 
 such a habit interferes with the development of the manly qualities 
 they are all ambitious to possess. The prevalent idea that it is 
 healthy to exercise the sex organs should be corrected. The common 
 sense and idealism of a life of continence before marriage can be 
 emphasized at this time. 
 
 It is highly important that girls, before their bodies show signs 
 of change, should be told about menstruation. Make your daughter 
 understand that this is a normal function; that she will have no 
 
 13 
 
pain and practically no discomfort if her body is healthy, her muscles 
 firm and well developed, her blood and digestion as they should be. 
 During early adolescence, if it has not been done before, explain to 
 her the reproductive system and the method of reproduction. It is 
 in such explanations that the girl learns once and for all the danger 
 of illegitimacy connected with irregular sexual intercourse. 
 
 Pamphlets for boys and girls may be obtained from the most 
 progressive boards of health; safe books for them may be obtained 
 at the best libraries. 
 
 As your boy associates more and more with his companions and 
 men outside the home, he has a right to some definite knowledge 
 of venereal diseases. When the girl enters industrial or business life 
 or is subjected to the dangers of questionable companions, she 
 should also be told of the seriousness of these diseases. Here more 
 than anywhere else you must regulate the amount and kind of 
 information to suit the individual boy and girl. It is necessary that 
 you have accurate knowledge of the seriousness and prevalence of 
 these diseases. The description of them as one of many contagious 
 germ diseases is a convincing way of handling the matter with 
 normal boys and girls. Girls should be guarded against the exag¬ 
 gerations w r hich would lead them to believe that all men have 
 exposed themselves to these dangerous diseases. 
 
 INDIRECT TRAINING 
 
 During middle adolescence (from sixteen to nineteen years of 
 age) guidance becomes indirect. Direct instruction should not be 
 repeatedly given; keep the youth’s mind off the sex question. For 
 your boy at this critical time the love of games and physical activi¬ 
 ties is able to produce interests and enthusiasms which diminish the 
 temptations to wrongful sex activity. You should overlook no 
 opportunity to encourage such natural athletic interests. You 
 should encourage the eating of wholesome food and keeping the 
 bowels in good working order. You should see to it that your boy 
 has an abundance of exercise and fresh air, and from eight and one- 
 half to ten hours’ sleep, depending on his age. You must insist upon 
 habits of frequent bathing and general cleanliness. Although girls 
 are not so universally enthusiastic for physical perfection at this 
 period, you should encourage as much as possible their physical 
 development and participation in outdoor sports. 
 
 Your boy should also be encouraged in the development of 
 interests in life—in the making of things, in the multitude of 
 projects which keep him busy. With both boys and girls this is 
 the time of opportunity to develop through literature high ideals of 
 
 14 
 
romantic love and earnest enthusiasms for unselfish endeavor. It 
 is a time when the youth is interested in his future career, in reform¬ 
 ing projects, in high adventure, and a time when he forms deep 
 friendships. Participation in unselfish activities is a great safety- 
 valve at this period. 
 
 In normal boy-and-girl life the developing sex life appears in an 
 attraction for friends of the opposite sex. The manifestation known 
 as u p u PPy love” must be guided and directed, but it can never be 
 successfully repressed. Boys and girls should be encouraged to 
 mingle socially at frequent intervals at times and places at which 
 adults can be present. The practice of familiarities between the 
 sexes, known commonly as spooning, presents a problem for you. 
 It is positively useless merely to say “Don’t do it.” The real harm 
 and unfairness of such things should be pointed out clearly, 
 
 WHERE TO GET INFORMATION 
 
 State Boards of Health and the United States Public Health 
 Service have prepared pamphlets which present the facts of sex and 
 describe accurately the venereal diseases and their effects, explaining 
 the Government’s campaign against these diseases. These pam¬ 
 phlets, together with lists of books endorsed by experts, are available 
 upon application to either of the above agencies. If you are a 
 member of a parents’ organization, you can obtain pamphlets in 
 quantity to pass on to other members. Although Public Health 
 officers, policemen, and teachers have their important work to do 
 in this campaign, there is no work more fundamental or more 
 important that the parent’s part in guiding and instructing his or 
 her own children. 
 
Write for the following pamphlets according to your need: 
 
 Set A. 
 
 For young men. 
 
 Set B. 
 
 For the general public. 
 
 Set C. 
 
 For boys. 
 
 Set D. 
 
 For parents of children. 
 
 Set E. 
 
 For girls and young women. 
 
 Set F. 
 
 For educators. 
 
 NEW JERSEY 
 
 STATE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH 
 
 Bureau of Venereal Disease Control 
 
 
 Trenton, New Jersey 
 
 S. B. of H. 
 
 V. D. Pamphlet No. 32 
 
 D