THE LIBRARIES Bequest of Frederic Bancroft 1860-1945 /^ {^a^t4i^ Z^//' JOURNAL LIFE AND RELIGIOUS SERVICES WILLIAM EVANS, A MINISTER OF THE GOSPEL SOCIETY OF FRIENDS. PHILADELPHIA: FOE SALE AT FRIENDS' BOOK STOEE, No. 304 AECH ST. 187 0. i<_> ^A\i:ie to CD TO THE READER. In the preparation of the following pages for publication, there has been little more required, than to select and arrange the matter, from the copious and long-kept diary of my late beloved brother. In them will be found depicted, in simplicity and self- abasement, the dealings of the Lord with one, whose main de- sire from early life, next to the salvation of his soul, was to be qualified for the service of his Divine Master, and to be rightly employed in his Church. As the reader traces his growth in Grace, he can form his own judgment of the stature he attained in Christ Jesus his Lord. It will be seen, that in common with other faithful seiwants of a crucified Master, he was often baptized into suffering and death ; that he might be prepared to visit the oppressed Seed, to par- take, in his measure, of the afflictions to be filled up for the body's sake, which is the Church, and to experience in himself the work of sanctification, and the renewings of that life which is hid with Christ in God. He shows that he knew what it was, to be often clothed with an humbling sense of his frailty and his inability, as a man, fbr any good word or work ; that he felt the necessity of keep- ing constantly on the watch, lest he should be betrayed into trusting in anything belonging to himself, and to seek for that Divine anointing, which alone could fit him for the position he occupied in the Church, and to engage in the work assigned him. But while a correct estimate of his religious character may be drawn from the record made by his own pen, it may not be inappropriate to add a few words, to enable the reader to form some correct appreciation of his natural endowments, and his bearing in the domestic and social circles in which he moved. IV PREFACE. He possessed good mental abilities, and though his scholastic education was not equal, in some respects, to that now provided for the children of Friends, yet hia quick perception, his habits of accurate observation and correct reasoning, together with a fondness for instructive reading, enabled him to store his mind with a fund of sound knowledge, that rendered his conversation interesting and profitable. With warm, natural affection for his family and other connections, he attached them moi-e strongly to himself by kindness and manifest interest in their welfare, than by the ties of consanguinity. Though he speaks of being often cast down and distressed, on account of the state of the professing Church, yet such was his care to wash and anoint, so as not to appear unto men to fast, that there were few who more generally maintained a chastened cheerfulness, or whose deportment was more free from repulsive reserve. His manner was genial, and marked by simplicity and sincerity ; and social intercourse, however diversified, soon revealed, that the sub- jects which lay nearest to his heart, were the work of salvation, and the spread of the Hedeemer's kingdom. His ministry was fervent, forcible and fluent ; manifesting concern to reach the Witness for Truth in the hearts of his hearers, rather than to convince by argument, or please by elo- quence ; and while his Christian love embraced those of every denomination, who loved the Lord Jesus in sincerity, it flowed pre-eminently to his fellow members in the Society of Friends, whose religious growth and stability were objects of his deepest solicitude ; to promote which, he was ever ready to spend and be spent. Charles Evans. Philadelphia, Tenth month, 1870. The Journal having been examined by a Committee of the Meeting for Sufi'eriugs, its publication was approved by that meeting. JOURNAL. CHAPTEE I. 1787—1813. Introduction — Parentage and Birth — School days — Apprcnticesliip— Divine Visitation — Keligious Exercises — Notices of eminent Ministers — Views of the Church — Excursions from the City — Experience respecting true Faith- Enters into Busmess — Scruples respecting extensive Trade — Divine promise of a Sufficiency — Marriage — Keflections on visits to Watering Places — Visit from Susanna Home and T. Scattergood— War with Great Britain— Accom- panies his Mother to Salem Quarterly Meeting. For the purpose of commemorating the mercy and goodness of God extended to me from early life, and to encourage others to yield to the visitations and convictions of his Holy Spirit, that through obedience thereto the kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ may spread and prevail, I have believed it right from time to time, to preserve memorandums of his dealings with me, and to leave them as a testimony to his unfailing goodness and faithfulness to the children of men who love, serve, honor and put their trust in Him alone. And especially that my dear children, should they survive me, may be drawn more and more to dedicate themselves to the God of their fathers, and walking in the Truth all the days of their lives, become instrumental in the divine hand, in hold- ing up toothers the purity and spirituality of the religion of the Lord Jesus, as He, by his Holy Spirit, revealed it to the holy Apostles, and to those whom He made ministers and promulgators of it at the rise of our religious Society. 1 believe that George Fox, Eobert Barclay, Isaac Penington, William Penn, George "Whitehead, and many others, were divinely prepared and anoint- ed by Christ Jesus, the minister of the sanctuary and true taber- nacle which God hath pitched and not man, for reviving and ef- fectually preaching the same gospel of life and salvation, in its original purity and clearness, which had been much lost sight of through a long night of apostacy. And though the spirit of 2 (5) 6 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. anti-Christ, and sorao, who are more or less darkened and dehid- ed by it, may seek to obscure the spiritual nature of the gospel, as professed from the beginning by Friends, yet a blast will be bi^ought over all such attempts in the Lord's time, and He will raise up from generation to generation, living witnesses of the power and coming of the Lord Jesus in his spiritual appearance in the souls of his children — who, as they are faithful in the day of small things to the unfoldings of his Spirit, will be qualified in living faith to call Jesus, Lord and Saviour, both from what they have experienced of his redeeming power in their hearts, and from a true and certain belief of all the doctrines and pre- cepts of the gospel as recorded in the Holy Scriptures. M}' beloved and honored parents, Jonathan and Hannah Evans, were true believers in these doctrines, and their lives and conver- sation were consistent therewith. Walking in the simplicity and uprightness which the Truth leads into, they became bright ex- amples in the church of Christ, and growing from stature to sta- ture, were made pillars in the Lord's house, that went no more out. 1 w^as born in Philadelphia, on the 5th of the Tenth month, 1787, and at a suitable age was placed at a school under the care of a member of the Monthly Meeting to which I belonged. I soon contracted a strong fondness for liberty and pla3^ in the streets with my school-fellows, with some of whom as I grew in years, I was at times involved in childish disputes, more ex- cited by rude boys, who delighted to urge a Quaker child into broils, than from any fondness myself for such collision — though I felt a strong disinclination to submit to imposition. I underwent much persecution in the street on account of a plain dress, an aversion to which increased with age. My mother watched over us with affectionate and religious solici- tude, taking suitable opportunities to induce serious reflection, telling us that our Heavenly Father saw us wherever we were and knew all that wo did — that He was displeased when we did wrong, and that there was a place of everlasting punish- ment if we died in sin — but on the contrary. He would continue to love us if we did right, and receive us into heaven if we thus lived and died in his favor. But she did not adopt the modern system, relying entirely u])on reasoning with the children to convince their understanding, but at times resorted to correc- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 7 tion to sujjport authority and procure submission to her dic- tates. Keeping to the truth and strict integrity were early incul- cated and enforced, any departure from which brought distress over me. Disinclination to restraint increased with years, and condem- nation for sin rendered serious things and the society of religi- ous people irksome to me, I sought the company of those whose passions and propensities were unsubjected, and took more satisfaction in their conversation than in the sobriety and reserve of the lovers of the cross. By such means corruption strengthened, the innocency of childhood was tarnished, and my carnal appetites began to seek indulgences totally at vari- ance with purity of heart, and that life which my parents earn- estly labored to inculcate and keep their children in. In the year 1798, one of my brothers and myself were sent to the country for the school vacation, to board with Philip and Hannah Price, in Kingsessing township, where we remained till the yellow fever appeared in the city. Their son's family moving out there, we were taken to Darby and placed at school. This was a sorrowful change to us — among strangers and in a family which seemed to have little interest in us. We felt keenly the separation from our parents, and those Friends in whose house we had enjoyed ourselves, and to whom we had become much attached, particularly Hannah Price, who had been very kind and attentive to us. Those feelings of sadness eventually subsided in a measure, and some persons coming into the family not very proper for us to associate with, I sought for gratifica- tion in their society, which was far from contributing to my benefit, and thereby the way was opened to temptation and in- creased insensibility. Being from under the care of my parents, who did not leave the city for several weeks, and released from the restraint which their example and presence often inspired, I indulged in light and loose conversation, for which 1 was brought under condemnation, and would have been ashamed they should have been apprised of. It was a time of awful calamity in Philadelphia; many fled to the country, which made it difficult to procure accommoda- tions, and as soon as it could be efi:ected our family removed from the city into Upper Darby, where several of them were taken sick with the fever. This kept my brother and myself away 8 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. from them longer than they desired. It is, however, very im- portant to place children, when sent from home, with religious caretakers, who feel the obligation to watch over their morals, and to guard them from the contaminating influence of de- praved domestics or persons hired as laborers, who have had little care bestowed upon their bringing up, and are not under the government of religious principles. We did not return to the city until late in the fall, after frost and snow; the ma- lignancy of the fever rendering it unsafe for those who had been inhaling a pure atmosphere, to return before a thorough change had been effected by frost. In the Fifth month, 1799. the boarding school at "Westtown, instituted by our Yearly Meeting, was opened for the reception of scholars, and I was one of the first twenty admitted there, my brother Joseph also remaining a few months. It was quite a novel scene, and required time before a proper system of order and government was established. Everything seemed in a crude state ; the yards not laid out and regulated, shavings and chips from the hewed timber and the shingles, the woods grown up very thick with bushes, so that it was difficult to get through them, all contributed to give the whole a rude appearance. All this made work and amusement for the boys, who employed themselves under the supervision of the teachers in burning up the great beds of shavings, cutting openings for walks through the woods, and making arbors with seats to recreate themselves in during the warm weather. The school was frequently visited by the committee of the Yearly Meeting who had the charge of the institution, and by ministers travelling through the country. Under their ministry and sometimes in the silent meetings, my mind was brought to contemplate the character of the holy men of old who served God in their generation, and sincere desires were sometimes felt that I might become like them. I was full of activity in the amusements and recreations which we were allowed, keep- ing pace with most of my schoolmates in the studies pursued at that early period of the school, and was quite contented, while some indulged a fault-finding disposition. Sometimes I took liberties with others in going beyond our prescribed bounds, but was restrained from any very flagrant violations of order, or joining the worst boys in bad language, or a systematic do- fiance of the authority of the teachers. On one provocation I JOURNAL OF "WILLIAM EVANS. 9 used a bad expression resembling swearing, which struck me with horror. Our anxious parents frequently wrote us lettci-s containing excellent advice, showing their rehgious concern for our welfare ; of which the following are extracts : From my mother, dated Fifth month, 21, 1799 : "I hope my dear children you do not forget our anxious con- cern and solicitude for your good when present with us, and I trust it hath not abated, but desires are raised that the Lord may be pleased to take you under his peculiar care and notice, and that you may indeed be afraid to oifend Him in word or action. Be obedient to those who have the care over you, and kindly affectionate one to another. Endeavor after stillness, and remember the many favors you receive ; and may the reverent inquiry of your minds be, AVhat shall I render unto the Lord for all his blessings ? Your dear father set off this morn- ing with Euth A. Eutter and Sarah Cresson to Ehode Island, and as he had not time to write, desired his love to be remem- bered to you, and that you would let us hear from you as often as you can. " With desires for your preservation in the innocency and simplicity of the Truth I conclude. " Your affectionate mother, "Hannah Evans." After my beloved father's return from his journey with E. A. Eutter and S. Cresson, he wrote us frequently — from one of his letters the following is taken : — Philadelpliia, 19th of Second month, 1800. My Dear Children : — I have been much concerned on your account for some time past, understanding several of the boys had given a great deal of trouble to those who had the care of them ; and though I could scarcely think either of you were of the number, yet not hearing anything particular, my mind was made very uneasy, but I hope better things of you. And if at any time you feel any disquietude of mind, be patient and endeavor to bear your trials in meekness, looking with reverent confidence to your great Creator, who compassionately regards every sigh and tear of the sincere in heart ; whether they be children or more advanced in years. But then we must also at 10 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. all times strive to conduct so as not to grieve his Holy Spirit in our hearts, which is a continual witness against every evil thought, word or action. Let your innocent, circumspect deportment be observed by all; join not with any in the least evil, but let the fear of the Lord be ever present with you, and that will keep you harmless, and make you dear unto Him and to all good people. * * ^ ■* * * Your mother joins me in near love to you both, desiring your welfare every way. Your loving father, JoNA. Evans. Philadelphia, 21st of Ninth month, 1800. Dear Children : — Feeling desirous at all times you may do well, I cannot but endeavor to revive in your remembrance the necessity of attending with all diligence, to the small, gentle intimations and reproofs of the Holy Spirit of Truth in your own minds. Keep near to its blessed instructions at all times, and it will preserve in every season of trial and difficulty, and as an inexhaustible fountain, sustain your little minds when depressed with anxious thoughts or discouraging fears. This is the alone way to happiness here or blessedness hereafter. For in obedience to this light in our minds, we are brought to love the Lord our most gracious Eedeemor above jjll, and by Him are regarded as his children, which is treasure indeed, that raises the spirit above earthly pleasures, to a sense of the un- speakable comforts in the regions of immortal bliss. Here, in this state the fear of death is taken aAvay, because we know that in the presence of the Lord there is life, and as we are kept near him, nothing can hurt us. Now, my dear children, let me earnestly entreat you, to mind the reproofs which you feel for doing wrong; this is the Spirit of Truth I have been speaking of, and as you carefully attend to it, it "will lead into all truth — you will fear to offend by a repetition of those things, for which you have been reproved. It penetrates through every cover- ing, and no dissimulation can possibly escape its all-searching jiower. "Whenever through unwat<3hfulnes3 you have given way to temptation, and by the merciful calls of this holy teacher, you become sensible of it, retire alone, and endeavor to get your minds drawn from every outward thing, to a reverential waiting upon your Holy Creator for a renewal of his light and grace upon you, that you may be strengthened to resist the enemy of JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 11 all good in his future attempts ; aud be sure to avoid those things that have thus beguiled you, and brought distress upon the tender mind; for in this "watchful state your minds will often be tendered, and at times sincere petitions will ascend for preservation, and support in this world of vanity and trouble. * * * * * * Your affectionate father, Jona. Evans. Philadelphia, Fifth month Gth, 1801. Dear Child: — I received thy letter dated 4th inst., and was glad to hear of thyself and sister being in health, which is a blessing among the many received, we ought to be thankful for. Indeed, many ai'e the obligations we are under to that bountiful hand from whence all our blessings flow. Let us then evince our gratitude by endeavoring to love Him above all, and then we shall be afraid to offend Him in thought, word or deed. My dear child, I feel anxious for thy preservation, and desire thou may be careful to associate with such of thy school-mates, as are most seriously inclined ; and be sure not to do anything, in the absence of those who have the care over thee, that thou wouldst be afraid they should know, or that would in any degree wound thy own mind. Learn to love silence ; and seek for strength, that thou may be preserved in time of temptation. With love to thyself and sister, conclude thy affectionate mother, Hannah Evans, My brother had been taken from the school at this time on account of his health, and one of my sisters introduced there — The above letter, expressive of the best wishes of an anxious and affectionate mother, was addressed to me, but at that time I was too full of my own plans for recreation and enjoyment, to give that heed to such solicitude for a wild son, as I ought to have done, yet I have no doubt these admonitions had a restrain- ing influence, and at times tended to bring me to some serious reflection. In the Second month of 1802, being then a little over fourteen years of age, I was removed from the school, having been there about two yeai'S and nine months, and being rather young to be placed an apprentice, my fixther got me into the counting-house of two. Friends, in the flour business, in order to acquire some knowledge of book-keeping. Their store was on the wharf, and 12 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. when tliei-e was nothing urgent in the business, my inclination led me into the company of persons in the neighborhood whose sentiments and halnts w^ere not congenial with a religious life ; and thus hud it not been for the mercy of my Heavenly Father, I was in great danger of entering rapidly the broad way to destruction. The yellow fever again appeared in the city this summer, and after leaving the store on that account, I did not return to it, but in the fall of the year 1802, w^as apprenticed to a Friend to learn the drug business. Being introduced to a strange family and business, I endured new difficulties. It was the business of my choice, but after the novelty had in measure subsided, I began to question whether I had made a proper selection, and for a while felt unsettled ; but reflecting that it was done after some deliberation, and that if I left it for any other, I might find the same difficulty to contend wuth, I concluded to endeavor to make myself satisfied, hoping that 1 should find it :is suitable as any other I could adopt, and accordingly applied myself to the business and the interests of my master, as well as I was capable. In my new situation I had many temptations to war with from within and without. The business of a store that w^as much frequented, subjected me to intercourse with those who knew little or nothing of the work of religion, and a volatile, active spirit often led me from under the cross into converse with such, by which I suflFered loss. I was much separated from the care of anxious and exercised parents, and though I was afraid of close intimacy with young persons who were of a libertine class, yet more or less I was drawn into the company of two of them residing near the store, but their wdcked habits and conversation created a dread in me of being joined to and carried into their depraved practices. One fine winter evening, my master's sleigh and horses having been out, he told the apprentices we might take a ride, and accordingly with one of these young men, we set off, and rode out a few" miles to the l>ank of the Schuylkill, where this young man proj)osed we should go into a tavern and get something to drink. This w^as a new proposition to me, upon which I hesitated — having never been accustomed to go to taverns, or di'ink anything like ardent spirits. We got out of the sleigh, but I did not move from, the side of it, and while hesitating, the countenance of my father presented to my view, as though he had suddenly appeared JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 13 before me, which immediately conveyed the idea of disapproba- tion, and I gave my voice against going into the tavern, and we accordingly resumed our seats and rode home. This was an evidence of the watchful care of the unslumbering Shepherd of the sheep, in bringing to my mind the conviction, that were my father present I would not dare to go into such a place, and further shows the importance of the circumspect deportment of parents before their children, and of the application of salutary restraint towards them. Notwithstanding I had been thus far carefully educated and watched over by my parents, attended steadily the meetings for worship to which I belonged, and had been taught in the prin- ples of the Christian religion as set forth in the New Testament, and in the writings and journals of Friends ; believing that Jesus Christ was the Saviour of the world, that He died for all man- kind, and would save all who were obedient to Him ; that my Heavenly Father who is almighty, saw me wherever I was and every thought and every action that I did, and by his Holy Spirit in the heart convicted me for sin, bringing me under the fear of death and everlasting torment, but gave peace whenever I resisted temptation and did right; yet so far as I can remem- ber, I had never yet had a full sense of my lost condition, and the necessity of an entire change of heart, in order that I might be brought into his favor, and sanctified so as to be fitted for spiritual communion with Him. My father frequently read the Bible to us, as well as other religious books, particularly on First-day. One evening when collected for that purpose, I read to the family William Leddra's epistle, written the day before he was executed. It had a very powerful effect on me, tender- ing my heart in an unusual degree, and bringing me to trem- bling; under which I was favored with an extraordinary visitation of heavenly love, producing a sense of my sinful, impure condition, and fervent desires after holiness — that I might become changed, and hereafter live a life of acceptance with my Heavenly Father. I had never had the same view of myself, nor felt the same willingness and desire to dedicate myself to Him as at that time. The savor of it continued many days. The light of Christ shone clearly into my heai% showing me that many of my habits were contrary to the Divine purity and must be abandoned — that many of my words were light and unsavory, and a guard must be placed at the door of my 14 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. lips. Love flowed in 1113- heart towards my gracious Almiglity Parent pre-eminently, and then towards all men as brethren and creatures of the same all-powerful hand. I deaircd above all things to be with Jesus, and to know Him to continue with me, and at that time it seemed as if He did condescend to mani- fest himself in a clear manner, so that his countenance was lovely, and I walked under his guidance and protection with great delight. It was the baptism unto repentance, the day of my espousals— the beginning of a new life; and while favored with these heavenly feelings, I thought nothing would be too hard to part with in ol)edience to the will of my Saviour. From this time 1 began to love retirement and serious medi- tation, and to present myself in the presence of the Lord to partake of his favor, and know my strength from time to time renewed. I felt more than ever bound to be faithful to my master in all things, both in the performance of the duties of the station, and in taking care of his property and the interests of the business ; appropriating nothing to my own use that did not belong to me. To do justly and faithfully in all things as in the Divine sight, was one of the earliest requisitions. If I accidentally broke anything of value, I was not easy to conceal it from him, though sometimes it was a trial to tell him of it, but when I did inform him under feelings of regret, it seemed to disarm him from blaming me. The heavenly visitation which I have described was like the baptism of love unto repentance, in which I felt confident, like Peter, of adhering closely to the Master, though others might forsake Him. He knew when it was proper to withdraw those sensible manifestations of his presence and support under which I was forming such conclusions, and when the dispensation was changed, and no comeliness could bo seen in Him or in myself, I soon found that my constancy would bo easilj^ shaken. There was a wilderness travel to pass through, in wdiich 1 Avas to feel the strength of my evil propensities, and the subtlety and power of Satan as I never yet had witnessed. The change was hard to endure, and though I strove for a time to maintain the ground I had taken, yet being assailed again and again with temptation, and looking at it instead of looking towards Him, who alone could preserve mo, I let go my faith in his unfailing regard, concluded I might as well gratify myself this once, and when I had yielded, distress came, upon mo. Having JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 15 cast away my shield, I felt like a poor fallen creature, unwor- thy of -Divine notice, and not likely to be again favored with it. Shut up in darkness the tempter vaunted over me, and sug- gested that it was not worth while for me to attempt to walk in the narrow way, that I wpuld not be able to resist and con- trol my passions and inclinations, and therefore might as well continue to indulge them. To be thus overcome at the commencement of the warfare, and so soon deprived of those heavenly sensations which I had enjoyed in the presence and company of the Deliverer of the captive soul, filled me with sadness, and I went mourning on my way. Divine displeasure was administered, but in the midst of judgment, the Lord remembered mercy, and through the operation of his blessed Spirit, brought me again into ten- derness of heart, and I was humbled under a sense of my un- worthiness of his condescension and love towai'ds such a poor rebellious creature. I was educated in the belief that divine worship was per- formed in spirit and in truth, and that the qualification for this essential duty was to be waited for in the silence of all flesh. When in meeting I endeavored to have mj mind gathered from all visible things, and at times was favored with the presence of the Shepherd and Bishop of souls, who is in the midst of those who arc met together in his name, sometimes tendering my spirit with his goodness, and at others instructing me in those things which pertain to salvation ; and I felt it to be a re- ligious duty diligently to attend all the meetings to which I belonged as they came in course. My father's house was visited by many of the most substan- tial Friends, of whose company I was glad, and was interested and instructed by their solid conversation, and sometimes by religious opportunities in the family. Thomas Scattergood, whose first wife was a sister of my mother, frequently visited us, and having a peculiar gift for entering into the condition of others, he mostly had a word of counsel or encouragement to the children. Having never been accustomed to keep much company, and believing that a retired life was best for me, I contracted very little intimacy, excepting with one or two persons of a serious character. Our business required attention until 10 o'clock in the evening, and when it was my turn to be at the store at 16 JOURNAL OF AVILLIAM EVANS. night, if the buj>iuess admitted of it, I passed the time in medi- tation, and reading religious, historical or scientific works. I had frequent conversation on points of doctrine with an orderly young man, a methodist, apprenticed in the neighborhood to the same business, and a few times accompanied him to their meeting, out of curiosity to observe their mode of woi-ship ; but I never saw anything among them that attracted me, or pro- duced any dissatisfaction with my own religious profession. On the contrary, in some of their prayer meetings, the passions appeared to be much excited, and their efforts to convert per- sons from their evil ways, that they might " get religion," as they call it, seemed to operate much through the nervous system. Familiar association with other pi'ofessors, or attending their meetings, appears to me quite improper for the members of our Society. Those whose feelings are lively may be caught by the excitement, and receive a bias which may unsettle them a long time, perhaps thi'ough life. If we keep to our divine Lord and Master, lie will instruct us in the mysteries of his kingdom, and nourish with the bread and water of life which He gives, by which the inner man will be strengthened, and the soul made wiser than all teachers who are acting in their own spirit. " He that drinketh of this water shall thirst again, but he that drinketh of the water that I shall give him," said Christ, "shall never thirst, but it shall be in him a well of water springing up unto evei'lasting life." I had now put my hand to the plough, and hoped never to look back again into the condition I was once in ; but a long fight of affiiction was passed through, before 1 was in any good de- gree brought from under the bonds of corruption. Refraining froin company, tended to keep me out of the way of the gross evils which abound in populous cities, yet for want of watch- fulness and close obedience to the will of my Heavenly Father, I was often overcome by temptation, which brought great dis- tress upon me. In my trouble I looked towards Him whom I had offended, and in mercy He would bring me up out of the pit and put a new song of thanksgiving into my heart. These seasons of rejoicing were succeeded by feelings of great strip- pedness, and instead of keeping the faith and patiently waiting for the appearance of my Lord, I was too easily drawn aside again by a light and frothy spirit, and received fresh wounds from my enemy. He seemed to rejoice over me, and suggested JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 17 that it was impossible for me to overcome, which I was sometimes ready to fear would be the case ; yet through all my combats, the power of darkness over me, and the strength of my pro- pensities to evil, gradually diminished. I frequently walked into solitary places, either for the purpose of meditation or to bemoan my condition, and one dark night in the skirts of the city, where no sound was heard but the howling of some dogs, I thought the state of my mind bore a strong resemblance to the darkness of the night and the doleful noise of those crea- tures. When I was thus plunged, and endeavored to bear it patiently and steadfastly. He whose tender mercies are over all his works, again appeared in the needful time with healing in his wings, and then I rejoiced in his judgments as well as his mercies, and would be thankful that I had endured instead of seeking relief in a wrong way. At one time when I was passing through much mental con- flict, an impression was distinctly made upon my mind that at a certain period I should be favored with a renewed visitation. It was a season of great trial to Friends of this city, in which I partook very keenly according to my capacity; and when it had in some measure passed over, a divine visitation was extended to me of the most remarkable character I had yet experienced; in which I saw in the openings of divine light, the power of darkness whence all temptation proceeded, and was also favored to see the power of divine Grace which was over all, and as it is obeyed, would effectually give the victoiy over all sin to those who unreservedly give themselves up to it. I never had before such a clear and undoubted sense of the two powers of light and life, and of death and darkness, and my faith was strong and unshaken in the unlimited superiority of the former over the latter. But instead of hiding it in my own heart and quietly dwelling under its heavenly operation, I spoke of it too freely to my religious companions, desirous that they should see it as clearly as I did, and thereby talked it much away, and failed to partake of the full benefit of the divine visitation as I ought to have done. During my apprenticeship there was a large body of substan- tial ministers and elders of extraordinary gifts belonging to our Yearly Meeting; and as I made progress, though slowly and often in a halting way, in religious experience, my concern strength- ened to attend meetings for discipline, as well as for worship. 18 JOURNAL OF AVILLIAM EVANS. Those large annual assemblies, where there was such a concen- tration of giftS; talents and religious weight, were very interest- ing, especially when a concern for the welfare and encourage- ment of the young members took hold of them. George Dill- wyn, who reminded me of the beloved disciple that leaned on Jesus' bosom, rarely forgot those who were in difficulty and needed help, and he was at times very instructive in his appli- cation of doctrine to the different states and growths, and very cheering to the youthful disciple. The gravity with which they sat in those assemblies, and the solemnity with which manj" of them delivered their sentiments were impressive on young minds, and tended to inspire a love for the religion which produced such men, and such fruits, and for the beauty and dig- nity of the church and its concerns. Eli Yarnall was remark- able for the inwardness of his spirit, his great caution in speak- ing, and the peculiar brightness of his countenance, reminding me of Stephen, of whom, it is said, that all who beheld him, " saw his face as it had been the face of an angel." Our Quarterly Meeting was held in the North house, in Key's alley. A large number of ministers belonged to it ; and during my minority Ann Alexander paid a religious visit to this country, whose Gospel labors were evidently from a living spring. At one of these meetings she foretold in a very im- pressive manner the reduction of the ministers, and the scarcity of spiritual food instrumentally communicated. I concluded then to treasure up the prediction for the purpose of ascertain- ing what dependence could be placed upon it — and it has since been fully and strikingly realized. A number in that station were in a few years I'cmoved by death, others have fallen away, several joined with the separation which took place in 1827, and very few in our Quarterly Meeting have since been raised up. William Savery, a minister much beloved and very decided in his public testimony to the divinity, and the various offices of our Lord Jesus Christ, died during my apprenticeship. I at- tended the Market street Meeting on the evening of the 25th of the Twelfth month when he preached, appearing to be in a declining state of health, and which I Ix'licve was the last time he appeared in the ministry in a pubHc meeting. AVhat made the opportunity more impressive was his pallid countenance, and the text with which ho rose, '* Abraham saw my day and JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 19 was glad," and which he uttered with a heavenly spirit and solemn tone of voice. This was the subject of all others which lay near his heart — and he was an indefatigable advocate for the truths and the importance of Christianity^ Eebecca Jones, a minister and mother in Israel, who had paid a religious visit to Friends in England, and was highly esteemed by her contemporaries, for religious experience, a sound judg- ment and spiritual discernment, resided in this city, and her house was frequented by ministers and elders, and the younger members coming under the love of the Truth, who sought the benefit of her counsel and instructive conversation. Her cir- cumstances were limited — at one time she kept a school for small children — and sold some books and articles of dress worn by females of plain habit. Among others who visited her com- pact habitation in Brooke's court, I was one who found the way there, after being brought under religious concern. She treated her young friends in a kind and affable manner, and yet with Christian dignity and gravity ; sometimes entertaining them with anecdotes of her early religious life, or her travels, particu- larly in Europe, having in view the object of drawing them into a love for the Truth, or strengthening their desires and resolu- tions to persevere in the good way in which they had commenced walking. She told me that when quite a young woman, after the power of Truth had taken hold of her heart, and brought her to seek for those things which belong to the everlasting welfare of the immortal soul, she was introduced to the house of Daniel Stanton, then one of the principal ministers in this city. It was a place of resort for the young converts of that time, and deriving much help from the society of that valuable man, she then concluded if she ever became a housekeeper, her house should be open to the visits of persons seeking after heavenly treasure. Her conclusions were realized to the com- fort of many. In a little religious communication one evening to a young Friend and myself, she gave us the excellent advice, which had been given to her in early experience, " Keep near to Truth, and the friends of Truth, and the Truth will keep you." It made a strong impression, and so far I have realized its verity, and have had frequent occasion to hand it to others. To have such a Friend to resort to when beset with temptation, or closely tried with desertion and poverty of spirit, was a great benefit to the weary, inexperienced traveller; from whose 20 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. company we sometimes returned comforted and cheered to hold on our way. My uncle Thomas Scattergood's residence was a house of similar resort, where the mourner found a deeply sympathizing friend, and the young soldier one who had large experience in the trials of the spiritual warfare, and who gladly seized the opportunity of cheering him on to victory. Sometimes when I have visited him, and would silently sit without doing anything to prompt him to conversation, — for he passed much time in meditation and in communion with the Lord, — he would brighten up, and enter into the subject which he knew had taken hold of my mind, and relate portions of his own experience and travels — or of the openings of Truth in his mind relative to the great cause of universal righteousness, and the events passing in Christendom. He was not only remarkable for the gift of the ministry of the gospel of life and salvation, but also for the spirit of prophecy, with which he was at times clearly endowed, and under M'hich he often foi'etold coming events ; being a man who lived in the Spirit and walked in the Spirit, and to whom the Lord condescended to make known his secrets relating to the spiritual condition of others, and of his works among the children of men. I loved him much, and he manifested his love and interest for me, like a tender father in the Truth. As I advanced through my apprenticeship, at times deeply afflicted that I did not gain that victory over my jDassions and propensities, which I believed through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the obedient soul would attain — at others consoled with his peace and the blessed hope that I should eventually be made a conqueror, over all the powers of darkness ; I w^as often favored with clear views of the condition of the true church, clothed with the sun, having the moon under her feet, and of the certainty that the prophecies would be fulfilled in the Lord's way and time, when the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, and righteousness shall cover it as the waters do the sea. It then appeared clearly to me, that the members of our religious Society col- lected in the capacity of Yearly, Quarterly and Monthly Meet- ings, ought individually^, as members of Christ's visible church, to wait upon Ilim for wisdom, ability and authority, to engage in and to manage the affairs of the church. That the work is the Lord's J that it is his prerogative to select whom Ho will to JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 21 take an active part therein ; and that such should depend upon the immediate aid of his Holy Spirit, in the discharge of the various duties, which pertain to the oversight of the flock — in reclaiming or disowning ti'ansgressors, and in the general administration of the discipline. Also that those who were not called upon to take so active a part as some others, would never- theless have their allotment of service, both in a silent, sj)iritual travail for the prevalence of Divine life and power in our meet- ings, and at times in showing their unit}' with the judgment and concerns of others. The dignified station of a minister and messenger of the gospel of Christ, for the pui'pose of gathering souls to Him and exalting his name and kingdom among men, was opened before me, and I fully believed that all who are rightly placed in that honorable office, are made ministers by Christ himself; and that what they preach should be from the direct openings and com- munication of his Spirit in the heart, who only knows when his flock need instrumental helj:), and what is suited to their respective conditions. These things I was favored to see in the light of the Lord Jesus, and at times I felt as if I could stand forth as a servant under his authority to proclaim the glad tidings of life and salvation, and gather souls in the gospel net. While an apprentice, I accompanied my mother and two other ministers of our meeting to Cain Quarterly Meeting. This introduced me to some substantial Friends in the country, whose society and conversation were very interesting and instructive, particularly of that innocent-spirited and livel}^ minister, James Wilson of the Western Quarter, who was then at Cain. To sit down in a strange meeting and partake of sen- »:ations either of enjoyment or suffering, and to mingle with Friends at the different houses where we were entertained, was a new scene, and gave rise to views and feelings, of a cast con- tributing to my attachment to the cause of Truth. At another time I was sent to Oley with Mercy Ellis and her companion, who had visited the families of our Monthly Meeting. It took us two days to accomplish it. We put up at Thomas Lee's, and on the following morning I intended to retui*n, but the Aveather set in wet and I was persuaded to stay their meeting. Among strangers and the weather gloomy, I felt depressed ; but going to their meeting, my mind was replenished with a sense of the love of my Heavenly Father, which was a full reward 3 22 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. for the difficulty I had in taking these dear Friends thus far on their journey homeward. I believe it is good for young people to be iu the way of the society of substantial Friends, and to cherish a disposition to wait npon them and aid them in the prosecution of their religious services: a blessing will attend those who render such assistance from sincere motives, inas- much as "lie that giveth to one of these a cup of cold water, in the name of a disciple, shall receive a disciple's reward." David Sands, an eminent minister belonging to New York Yearly Meeting, visited our city about this period. His minis- try was peculiar, addressed to the states of the people, and at times describing in very vivid terms the joys of a future state prepared for the righteous, which had a quickening effect. He came to my father's house ; I felt a particular desire that he Avould preach to one of my brothers and myself, he being reputed a man who was favored with a clear discernment of the conditions of people. He did address us in that way, but not according to my wishes. He simply told us that we kncAV the path we should walk in, and exhorted us to keep in it. But I wanted something more definite and impressive, like the Syrian, a little display of divine power and condescension in opening our particular states. In the course of my exercises, I was at times persuaded that it would become my place to engage in the work of the minis- tr}'; and had I been faithful in denying self and steadfastly bearing the cross as I ought to have done, it is not improbable I sliould have been sufficiently reduced into the state of a little child, so as to be entrusted with the gift at an earlier period of life. But my unstable nature was hard to curb, and though this prospect at times presented, and some hints were given by others, yet not having a distinct pointing of duty to engage in it, and being persuaded of the great importance of being right in that weighty work, I dared not to put forth a hand, until the period came round in which a necessity was laid upon me, and the fear came over me, that l)}- putting off, I should be left in darkness. About the seventeenth j-ear of my age, our beloved friend Sarah Cresson, a valuable minister, staying then at my father's, suggested whether I would not derive benefit from reading Robert Barclay's Apology. I had occasionally looked into it, but not thoroughly, and at her suggestion, I went through the JOURNAL or WILLIAM EVANS. 23 work, which was of use, confirming me in the doctrines of the Christian religion as held by Friends, and as they were opened to me in reading the Holy Scriptures. I consider it the clearest and best argumentative exposition of the principles and the effects of the Christian religion, in print. After having passed through many baptisms and mortifying dispensations in order to reduce the old inhabitants of the land; and also experienced many seasons of divine consolation, wherein I was enabled to pour out my soul before the Lord, and fervently to desire to be made one of his children, and to serve Him all the days of my life, it pleased Him to hide his face from me, and to withdraw the sensible influences of his blessed Spirit ; through which alone we derive living faith, and are enabled savingly to believe in Him. The enemy soon took advantage of this bereaved condition, and started the doubt whether Jesus Christ was my Saviour. I remembered that He had declared: "My sheep hear my voice and they follow me;" and then I began to doubt whether I was one of his sheep ; for Satan insinuated that I had never heard his voice. This was a new trial ; but when I was so clouded that I could not be certain I bad really heard the voice of the true Shepherd, then the devil raised the doubt, whether Jesus Christ was the Son of God; and without having done anything that I knew of, to bring myself into this state, I found I was incapable of really believing in the Saviour of the world. I felt no disposition to deny or to reject Him, but I could not command that faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, which I had heretofore, as I once thought, possessed. Great distress and anxiety came upon me. Unwilling to lose my faith, I searched the Holy Scriptures, and diligently read various religious works which I hoped would restore the lost pearl ; but it was all in vain. I was utterly unable to regain my faith in Christ, which had been an anchor to my soul in many tossings and tempests. For a long time I was kept shut up in this condition, until I gave over searching books, or striving to satisfy myself by any argument. I looked up to my Heavenly Father, but all was hid from me, and I wondered how it was, that I should be unable to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, who I had been taught to believe and never before doubted, was the Saviour; and yet through all, something kept me steadfast and patient ; and I never told any one of my suffering condition. One evening as I was walking out for meditation, according 24 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. to my frequent custom, with my mind turned towards the Lord, He whom my aoul sought ahove all things, suddenly came to his temple, and by his Holy Sjjirit, revived my faith, and gave me to sec, that He alone is the author of that faith which entereth within the vail, and giveth victory over the world, the flesh, and the devil ; and that it is not founded merely on what is read, but is really of the operation of God on the heart. I rejoiced exceedingly and gave thanks to Him who is worthy of all praise and honor, and who will not give his glory to another. I could now tirml}' believe in the Lord Jesus as my Saviour, because of the renewed revelation by the Holy Spirit giving me that faith in Him — and through mercy I have never since been jiermitted to feel any doubt respecting his divinity, his media- tion, or any of his offices in the redemption and salvation of man. I record this under a sense of my own nothingness, and for the purpose of exalting the glory of his Grace; believing that the foundation of true gospel, saving faith is the immediate manifestations of the Holy Spirit, and it is this which draws the dedicated soul to Christ, and enables it to believe in Him savingly, to rely upon and to follow Him in the regeneration, as our Kedeemer and the Captain of our salvation. This faith woi'ks by love, and this love is evidenced and maintained in obedience. No man can be in the true faith unless Jesus Christ dwells in him ; and w'here He rules, the fruits and the works of the Spirit will be brought forth; and the faith of such, though it may be tried as gold in the fire, will be renewed from time to time, and give the victory over all the powers of darkness. Although this trial occurred some time before I was of age, I have often referred to it since as a peculiar favor and blessing, especially when the separation of the Hicksites drew on ; inas- much, as that turned upon the denial of the divinity and atone- ment of the Lord Jesus — and also when some have been dis- posed to make the Holy Scriptures the origin and foundation of true faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. They are an invaluable record of all those things most surely believed by the faithful followers of Christ, who have the opportunity of reading them, but it is God alone who can give true and saving faith in his beloved Son and in the truths of the (iosjicl, and it is by his mercy we are preserved to the end in possession of that faith. When I became of ago the prospect of commencing business for myself involved mc in serious thoughtfulness, but as it was JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 25 for my support, I took a house and opened a drug store in a moderate way, in the Twelfth month, 1808 ; but while it was a necessary duty to provide for my own subsistence, the kingdom of heaven and the righteousness thereof were in my view, prim- ary to everything else. I set out with the desii-e to have the world kept under foot, and to devote myself to the Lord and to whatever service He might call to ; at the same time it was my settled conviction, that to provide things honest in the sight of all men is a bounden duty w^here health permits, and that in the pi'osecution of business, strict integrity in dealing, and a scru- pulous guard against contracting debts without ability to dis- charge them, and to live within the limits of our income, are also duties indispensable to the Christian. I had a great fear of bringing any shade or reproach upon the profession of the Ti-uth, or upon the Society to which I be- longed ; and whenever any business presented, however profit- able, which appeared to me to conflict with either, I felt most easy to decline engaging in it. Although my transactions were on a small scale, and consequently did not open the way for the accumulation of riches, which sometimes was humiliating, and produced sensations of dissatisfaction that I was not likely to stand among men as independent as many others, or procure the accommodations which they had, yet I never was involved in any diflSculty in timely meeting my engagements, and was alwaj'^s able to provide every comfort in life that I desired. Since that day I have observed some among us who had suc- ceeded in accumulating wealth, plain in their gai'b and active in religious society, who looked upon those who were in small business with contempt, and at times spoke slightly of their scruples respecting Friends engaging in extensive concerns. But the latter have a refuge which cannot be assailed by the pride or superciliousness of man, into which they are often permitted to flee and find safety. "Whenever I was subjected to sensations of that kind, retirement to my divine Lord and Mas- ter, committing myself and the course I had taken to Him, and looking to Him for consolation and the recompense of reward at the end of the race, raised me above these earthly and sordid views, and gave me an authority and dominion over that spirit, of which none could deprive me. Wealth and the importance arising from it were nothing to me, and not worthy of compari- 26 JOURJJAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. son with a place in the Lord's house, and the honor and dignity with which He clothes his humble, faithful children. 1809. Business opening very slowly in the following spring, I fflt concerned lest it should not prove adequate to my neces- sities, and one day sitting in the store seriously and solitarily contemplating my prospects, my gracious Master condescended to show me that if I was faithful to his requirings, I should never want food nor raiment. The language and impression were so clear, humbling my heart befoi*e Him, that I believed his word, and thereby proved that that faith, of which He is the author, is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen ; my mind firmly and peacefully rested in it, as much as it would have done in an independent estate, although no change in the business very soon occurred. On the 11th of the Twelfth month, 1811, I was married to Deborah, daughter of Aaron and Abigail Musgrave. Some time before, she had been brought under the convicting power of Truth, with several other young persons who attended our meeting, and was strengthened to exchange a life of gaiety and mirth for one of simplicity and humble walking with her divine Lord and Master, and was then received a member among Friends. Our engagement was not entered upon without the requisite deliberation, and strong desire to be preserved from taking such an important step, unless accompanied with a sense of divine approbation. This was graciously atforded by Him whom we desired to obey in all things ; and although many years were not allowed for our earthly pilgrimage together, yet the few were passed in much sweetness of fellowship, and their termination was a bitter cup to the survivor. Being now settled in life, my time was necessarily occupied with the various duties pertaining to a jiroper provision for a family; wlach were attended to in unison with that dedication to the will of my Heavenly Father, and to the various services of religious society, which I felt of indispensable obligation and connected with a growth in the life of religion. I was not without seasons of close trial and humiliation, all which were needed to humble my proud and volatile spirit; and had 1 main- tained more faithfull}' the watch, 1 should have made more pro- gress in the Christian warfare, and attained a deeper and firmer establishment in religious weight and solidity. In the summer of 1812, I went with several members of our JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 27 meeting to Long Branch for the purpose of sea bathing. It wa^ the first view I had of the ocean, and standing on the beach contemplating the works of the Ahiiighty hand, man seemed like a speck in comparison with the irresistible force of such a vast body, when its mighty billows are wrought into fury by the power of the tempest. We put up at a private house with few besides ourselves, and attended the meeting at Shrewsbury. At that time it was a place of little resort compared with what it has been since. To weakly or sick persons, sea air and bathing are doubtless often useful ; but amongst the mixed com- panies that resort to these watering places, there are many incitements to throw off the restraints of the cross, and to fall in with the current of fashion and dissipation, and the use of language and manners quite at variance with our religious pro- fession. Being removed from the society of parents and religi- ous friends, and consequently from under the influence of their example and their known sentiments in opposition to these cor- rupt liberties, a salutary restraint is withdrawn, which makes it easier for 3"0ung persons to take liberties they would not resort to under their supervision ; and they may be too easily induced to frequent those places, where they may receive moral wounds more dangerous than the physical disorders which they seek to have cured. Voluntary subscriptions being set on foot to create a fund for the erection of an asylum for the benefit of persons deprived of the use of their reason, — members of our religious society and professors with us, — I accompanied one or two Friends in so- liciting the subsQijij^/'aons of some of our members, and found that the proposed institution was generally approved. Much good has been conferrea on that afflicted class since that day, who have been placed in it, and doubtless it had a right origin. First month 27th, 1813. Susanna Home from England, and Thomas Scattergood each opened in our Monthly Meeting a religious concern to visit the families, which was united with. They came to our house on the 29th, and had a religious op- portunity with my wife and myself. My uncle Scattergood sat a considerable time in deep silence after Susanna had relieved her mind. He seemed impressed with a sense of afllictious to come, and then spoke on the necessity of close adherence to the internal guide, in order to witness preservation on the sure foundation in times of deep trial, that might be permitted to -O JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. assail, for further purification, and preparation to bear burdens that may be assigned or permitted to come upon us. Our country being now at war with Great Britain, business was much at a stand, and the state of the countrj- at large was glooni}' and distressing. At such a time wickedness is let loose, and unprincipled men strive to gain the ascendency in power, manifesting very little feeling for those who are conscientiously restrained from falling in with the current. A bill was intro- duced this spring into the legislature of this State for a new organization of the militia, containing provisions that would operate with great severity upon Friends. Our Meeting for Sufferings prepared a remonstrance against it, which was taken to Ilarrisburg by a committee appointed for that purpose. The bill was finally thrown out by the Senate, and of course did not become a law. Fifth month 7th. The sudden death of the Friend who had very faithfully waited on Susanna Home in her travels in this country, produced strong sensations among his friends and accpiaintance. He had taken up his saddle-bags at his own house to set off in order to meet her in New Jersey, when he fell on the floor, having been previously sick at the stomach and complained of pain in the head ; and though great efforts were made by several physicians, they were unable to revive him. Information of the afflicting event was communicated to Susanna Home, and she came to the city and attended the burial on the 9th, being first day. She knelt in supplication at the grave side, and Arthur Howell and Thomas Scattergood spoke in testimony to the dedication of thyi'riend, and their undoubted persuasion that he now enjoyedia mansion among the blessed. The suddenness of his death V^hen apparently in usual health, and just intending to set out on a journey, was an impressive instance of the great uncertainty of life, and a loud call to faithfulness to the manifested will of our Heavenly Father, that when our day is over, we may be ready to meet the awful Judge of quick and dead. The English vessels of war being now on our coast, and com- mitting depredations in many places, the coasting trade was almost entirely stopped, which kept awtxy from the neighbor- hood of my store, which was in sight of the river, most of the craft usually there. This greatly lessened what little business JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 29 I had, and could not but produce serious thoughtfulness in relation to the means of subsistence. In the fall of this year my beloved mother, being liberated by the Monthly Meeting to visit the Meetings comjbosing Salem Quarter, and the two on Great Egg Hai'bor, I drove the car- riage, Ann Offley being her companion. John Baldwin, a minister living near Downingtown, Chester county, Pennsyl- vania, and Isaac W. Morris in another carriage, went in com- pany. We travelled in much harmony, visited all the meetings, in the course of which we had some solid opportunities, and returned the last day of the Eleventh month. CHAPTEE II, 1813—1819. Proposed change of Business — Uneasiness therewith — Relinquishes it and finds Peace — Before a Court Martial— Keflections on the Unchristian Prac- tice of War — Peace Principles applicable to National Government — Death of T. Scattergood — Commencement of his Wife's last Illness — Her Charac- ter and Convincement — Her last Sickness and Death — Weighty Expres- sions during her Illness — Accompanies his Mother on a Religious Visit — Goes to reside with his Pai-ents — Accompanies his Mother to Kew York Yearly Meeting — Death of his Father-in-law — Accompanies his Mother to New England Yearly Meeting — First Appearance in the IMinistry — Source of True Faith — Necessity of keeping to First Principles — Death of Sarah Wilson. In consequence of the war with England, business was much depressed, and having the expenses of a family to meet, which it seemed improbable, if the difficulties continued, the little I had to do, would be sufiicient for, I became so dissatisfied that I resolved to make some change. A relative, who was a dealer in dry goods, wanting a partner, I concluded to join him as soon as the war was brought to a close, and made arrangements to borrow a sum of money, which with that employed by him, was deemed a sufiicient caj^ital. The prospect of the connec- tion, and engaging in a business that looked likely to be profit- able, was animating and pleasant; and from the feelings of my mind, I thought I had given the subject ample consideration. We entered upon some of the preparatory steps, which brought 30 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. US frequently together, and to convei'se upon the business and the manner of conducting it. As I was led into a knowledge of the course pursued in that line, scruples occasionally arose in my uiind, which I attributed to fear produced by the novelty of my situation. Selling articles which I should not be easy to wear, or recommend others to Avear, presented some apprehen- sion of difficulty, but I concluded these might be dispensed with, and the business still be large enough; or perhaps when I became fully engaged, these feelings would wear off. Then arose the thought of entering into a business which I did not understand, and the condition in which I should find myself, were my partner removed by death. This circumstance I hoped would not occur, and I endeavored to suppress my appre- hensions with the belief that experience would soon render me familiar with my new employment. In his desire to open the Ava}' for our imion and future operations, ni}' relative told me that besides the amount of our capital, which was borrowed, it would be necessary to purchase on credit large quantities of certain articles, the payment of which would be provided for in the returns of our sales. This w^as a further insight of the responsibilities we were about to take upon us, and which raised fresh doubts and fears. My present business being small and one that I understood, was managed with ease. It required little capital, and involved me in no engagements that I did not hold the means to meet ; so that I was free from anxiety on that account, and at liberty to attend unincumbered, to anj^ of the appointments of the Society, or any impression of duty to go to a meeting that I might have. When I contrasted my present situation, for 1 had not yet given up the drug business, with the project before me, and recollected that I had never been accustomed to the anxiety which often attends large commercial concerns, I began to feel stronger doubts of the safety of making so great change. These doubts increased ; and one day sitting in our religious meeting, it phiinly appeareivine mercy she was finally brought to submit to these visita- tions, to withdraw from all these vain delights, and to seek a closer acquaintance and union with the Lord, who had thus en- lightened her by his Spirit to see the emptiness of her ibrnier pursuits, and the necessity of seeking enduring substance. JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 37 Persevering in fiiitlifiilncss to the unfoldings of Divine Light, she was convinced that simplicity in dress and manners was ob- ligatory upon the follower of Christ, and she became an ex- ample therein, even to those whose opportunities of a religious, guarded education had been widely ditlerent from hers. On this subject she remarks in some of her memoranda, that "The evidence was confirmed to her, that simplicity in life and man- ners attends the narrow way which leads to life, while the partaking of the enjoyments, possessions and allurements of this deceitful world, will inevitably lead to destruction." In the twentieth year of her age, she made application, and was received into membership in our religious Society by the Southern District Monthly Meeting. She was much beloved by her intimate acquaintances, and was engaged privately to seek their furtherance in the path of dedication to their divine Lord and Master. With some of these she was frequently employed in visiting the habitations of the poor, manifesting much tender feeling for them in their distresses, by her persevering efforts in procuring and administering the requisite comforts for their rehef. A select school for girls being opened within the limits of her Monthly Meeting, she took charge of it for about eigh- teen months, and proved herself well qualified for the care of the little children. When she entered into the married life her testimony to plainness was still kept in the furniture of her house, guarding against a conformity to the fashions of a vain world with which many are led. astray. Her gentle sj^irit, softened and regulated by the love of God, rendei-ed her a faithful and affectionate wife, and she was religiously concerned for the future welfare and preservation of her tender offspring. Having in health submitted to bear the yoke of Christ, and in good measure experienced its sanctifying operations in her heart, she was now favored at a time when under an incurable pulmonary consumption, as she said, with an " heavenly state of mind," and enabled with great calmness to look towards her dissolution, which she was early sensible would be the termina- tion of this sickness. The disease made steady progress after her return to the city, and she suffered much. In the course of her sickness she uttered many weighty ex- pressions, showing a living experience of inward communion with her Saviour, and of that redemption from sin and the fear of death, which by the working of his mighty power in the 4 38 JOURNAL OV WILLIAM EVANS. soul, He effects for his obedient children. Before she went into the country, a few Friends having culled to see her, after a time of silence, a belief was exi^ressed by one of them, that her bed had been made in her sickness, and that the guai'dian angel of the Lord's presence, had encamped around about her, and supported her, when outward help failed. After a short pause she uttered some expressions of thanksgiving for Divine support during her sickness, and added, " I feel that I am unworthy of so many favors." Then with uncommon energy, she broke forth nearly in these words : " Oh that I had the opportunity to testify to the goodness of the Almighty, and that it was in my power to impress on the young people the very great importance of giving up in early life, that the mind may have a foundation to rest upon in the time of trial, when the world is as nothing." The prospect of parting with my beloved wife was at times attended with feelings that seemed insupportable. We had "been married but a few years, and to be obliged to give up one whose purified spirit rendered her a most desirable companion in this scene of probation, appeared at some seasons altogether irreconcilable. And one day the prospect came over me with such force, that I was tossed with a tempest I could hardly sup- port; but as I was walking alone up and down the floor in this state, the Saviour graciously appeared, and in the midst of my perturbation, said to my mental ear, " Peace, be still," and there was a great calm. I then became more resigned, but still se- cretly clung to the hope that she would be spai'cd. On the 18th of the Sixth, she was visited by one of her cousins, whose mind had been brought under religious exercise, to whom she said : " My desire for thee since thou hast been sitting here, dear Susan, has been, that thou ma}' dig deep, and get to that sure foundation, against which storms and tempests shall never bo able to prevail ; that when thou comes to be laid on such a bed as I now am, thou may have a well grounded ho])e of enter- ing into that rest, where sorrowing and sighing will be done away." This cousin died in a short time after her. One of her aunts sitting by, observing her to be in much suffering, said she believed it was not because she was cast oil", that her distress of body was so great; she rejoined, "Whom the Lord loveth, He chasteneth." And in the course of the same day, her father remarking that she had a suffering time, she sweetly replied, " Yes, father, but I have an Almighty Friend underneath who JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 39 supports me over all." On the 19tli, she supplicated thus, " Oh great and glorious Lord, grant me patience that will carry even through the gates of death. Thou knowest that I have en- deavored to serve thee according to my measure ; prejiare for me according to thy eternal goodness, a mansion of rest ; and shorten the time, if consistent with thy holy will." After a few minutes, " In all my trials and deep afflictions, I have refreshing seasons." At a time of great bodily suffering, her mother-in-law being present, she said, " I should consider it a favor to be removed in one of these spells, but I am resigned; it is my meat and drink to do the Lord's will." Some time after she expressed, " Well is it for me, that part of the work was done before such a time as this." Then making a solemn payse, she broke forth in commemoration of His goodness, and in intercession, "Almighty God, my soul doth magnify thee, and my spirit rejoieeth in thy salvation. Oh, grant that I maj^ receive daily a portion of thy holy, everlasting patience." On the 22d, being in much pain she said, " I had need to cry aloud for patience. O Lord, hear the voice of my supplication ; be near in the hour of deep distress." Some little time after, on taking some drink she said, " I ought to be thankful for the many blessings and favors I receive ; there are many poor things who have to suffer all this, and have not these," alluding to the refreshments furnished her. Her father and mother-in-law being present in the evening, she said to them, " You have not heard me my dear parents, say much respecting these dear children I am about to leave. In the early part of my sickness I had a comfortable impression on my mind, that if I should be taken from them, there was a Father to the fatherless and a Husband to the widow, so I have been mercifully kept from anxiety about them ; yet I have been at times concerned for their everlasting welfare ; desiring they might know the God of their fathers, that they may become earlier acquainted with their Creator than their mother was ; though when but about eleven years old I was so clearly convinced of a principle within, that condemned for doing wrong, and led to do that which was right, that I have been induced to leave my pillow, with my cheeks bathed with tears, and on my knees pray that I might be a good child. I have craved that they may remember their Creator in the days of their youth, and 40 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. have desired that rather than they should not walk in the way that is well pleasing to llini, He would be pleased, while in theil iunocency, to take them to Himself." On the morning of the 23d. " Oh great and holy Eeing, be pleased to grant fresh supplies of th}^ patience. Oh hear the voice of my supplication ; be near and uphold me, for I have none in heaven to look unto but thee, nor in all the earth in comparison with thee. I magnify thee for thy mercy, and for all thy benefits ; I love to speak of thy goodness." Her sufferings on the morning of the 2-4th were very great and exhausted her much. About 4 o'clock in the morning, in much agony, she prayed, " O Lord be near ; grant me patience in this trying hour." Then said, " Oh what a trial and conflict I have had ! Had my^God been pleased to have taken me in this trying hour, what a favor ! Oh grant me patience ; let resigna- tion be my constant theme. Thou art great, and thou art merciful. Thou knowest all my deep afiiictions ; thou wilt not try me beyond what 1 am able to bear ; therefore let me bless and praise thee with this poor breath ;" her breathing being very diflicult. A little while after, " O Lord, take me to thj-self. O Lord how good art thou to me. My heart is filled with praises to the High God who reigneth above with the Lamb forever. Oh the sweet peace." After those trying sensations had a little subsided, she appeared like one just about to enter the king- dom, clothed with the meekness and purity of one of the Lord's redeemed children. In a sweet and heavenly tone she said, "I have been thinking of the expression of our Saviour, Suffer little children to come unto me, for of such is the kingdom of heaven — their angels do always minister to my Father who is in heaven. I do not know whether it is correct, but it is what I have been thinking of." She took some nourishment, and endeavored to compose her- self to sleep, but the cough being frequent it was much inter- rupted. Her mind appeared to be occupied with her two infant children, of whom she had spoken but a few times throughout her sickness. In her sweet and affectionate manner she said, " Oh my dear little jirattlings ; when I see them under the pro- tection of an omnipotent and omniscient Being, overshadowed as with the banner of his love, my soul is filled with love, with praises, high ])rai8cs to his great and most excellent name — a Saviour that will go with them and preserve them in the slip- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 41 peiy paths of youth. Oh if the Lord will hear my prayer, and check their early propensity to evil." On parting with her brother, Joel Evans, who had called to see her, she said, " Farewell my dear brother ; and wdiether I ever see thee in this life or no, may the Lord bless thee — bless thee with the dew of heaven ; and mayest thou walk w^orthy of his Holy name, that so thou mayest glorify Him, not only in this world, but in the world to come — Farewell." Being asked in the afternoon how she felt, she replied, " The body is comfortably fixed." It was then inquired whether she did not feel comfortable in mind, she answered, " Yes," and then proceeded, " That glorious Presence is not withdrawn, but I believe is near to support my poor, weary, tried, tossed mind ; not tossed with tempest but weakness; and w^hen it shall be his glorious will to take me hence, I go rejoicingly. If I love and "serve him, will He not keep his covenant ? yea, most surely." On the 25th her brother and sister-in-law, Joseph and Grace Evans, from the country, came to see her, and previously to their leaving she addressed them in this wise, " I cannot, my dear brother and sister, let you pass away, as my time here may be short, perhaps very short — which will be cause of rejoicing to me and thankfulness to my heavenly Father— without men- tioning what has presented to my mind of the importance of becoming acquainted with what it is to be a true Christian ; not only to believe in the Scriptures that Christ was born, died and rose again, but come to experience Him to visit you, guide you and direct your path through life. Do what your hands find to do, not only as it regards the outward, but know the in- ward work to go on wath the day. Thus you will become united to the Son of God. This will sweeten your path through life, and at the close give you an inheritance in his kingdom, where there is peace and jo}^ forevermore." ISTotwithstanding the intense suffering which at times she en- dured, her heart was often filled with praise to Him who had redeemed her by the spirit of judgment and of burning, and washed away her sins by his precious blood. In the course of the day she said, " Praise the Lord, Oh my soul, bless his holy name; glorify Him whilst thou art here; sing of his mercy and goodness, for they are very great." In the course of the night, her beloved friend Mary Morton, who was watching with her, observing to her that she had in- 42 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. deed need of patience, and that she thought she was abundantly supplied with it, she rei^licd, "I am sensible of it and it is a great mercy," — and holding her friend's hand, she coutinued nearly in these words : "I have much to be thankful for,- I was visited in very early life, and was enabled to yield to the heav- enly visitation ; this was a great favor. lie has been with me all my life long, and does not forsake me in this closing period ; but is graciously pleased at times to qualify, me under all my bodily sufferings, to commemmorate his marvellous goodness, and to sing praise, high praises to his ever-excellent Name." In the afternoon of the 27th, a few hours before her death, she said : "Praise the Lord, jj raise the Lord, Oh my soul ; praise his great and glorious name. Lean upon him that thou mayest know him to be thy support in the hour of deep conflict, and to receive thee into the kingdom of everlasting rest." Her close drawing near, she took a solemn leave of her con- nections present. To her husband she said, "Farewell, farewell, dear William — we shall meet in a better world ; the Lord will bless us there." "Lord Almighty receive my spirit ; angels wait to receive my spirit ;" — then as if something held her, she said, " Don't hold me, don't hold mo to this world." She quictl}' dej:)arted about twenty -five minutes past 11 o'clock at night, the 27th of the Sixth month, 1815, in the twenty-eighth year of her age ; and doubtless has entered one of those mansions which the Son of God went before to prepare for his devoted followers. My situation was felt to be destitute, and as our two children were mere infants, it was concluded that I should break up housekeeping and return to board with my parents. My dear mother having a religious concern to visit Burling- ton, Shrewsbury and Eahway, and Bucks, and Abingtou Quar- terly Meetings, and some one being needed to drive the horses, it was concluded that I should undertake it ; and my health being somewhat impaired by confinement and waiting on my late dear wife, the journey, particularly through the pines in New Jersey, would probably have a restorative elfect. We set out in the Eighth montb, and visiting all the meetings in pros- pect ; we were absent about eight weeks. It could not be sup- posed the journey would be to me a very cheering one, but notwithstanding my own situation, and the trials wo met with among those who were but little alive to the great cause of reli- gion, I was satisfied with having given up to it, and was forci- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 43 bly struck as we rode home with the reflection, how short tlie time had been. It seemed an emblem of hfe. Looking forward to so many meetings and pkxces, the time requisite to accom- plish it all, looked long; but after it was concluded, it was like a dream or a vapor that soon vanished. After my return I broke up housekeeping, and took up my residence with my beloved parents on the 10th of the Eleventh month. Eleventh month 13th. Since the decease of my dear wife, I have often had to feel the loss of her precious society, but a be- lief that she is in the company of saints and angels, and the spirits of the just made perfect, and the recollection that my own time will be short, incite me to endeavor patiently and cheerfully to hold out to the end. This is a state of mutability ; it is therefore necessary we should be sensible that every out- ward gift is held by a very slender thread — let us then strive to become increasingly acquainted with that which never changes, but will endure beyond time. 1816. In the Fourth month of this year my mother having a religious concern to attend New York Yearly Meeting, in which Sarah Wilson a minister belonging to our meeting united, I accompanied them. We made our home at Thomas Eddy's, who, with his exercised wife, received and entertained us with much kindness. There was a spirit at work in some there who put on great plainness, but who under the profession of 8uj> porting spiritual religion, were beginning to undervalue the benefits and importance of the Holy Scriptures. In the course of the sittings of the Yearly Meeting, an epistle was prepared in reply to that received from the London Yearly Meeting, in which the frequent reading of the Scriptures and the proper observance of the first day of the week, were en- forced in a manner which appeared to me consistent with the views the Society of Friends had always held on these subjects. Elias Hicks made an attack upon those parts of the epistle, iu which he spoke very disparagingly of the Sacred Writings, and improperly of the observance of the first day ; affirming that the spreading of the Bible w^as a part of the system of priest- craft. We visited Mamaroneck Meeting and the meetings on Long Island. When at Jericho, the women Friends lodged at Elias Hick's — I staid at his son-in law's. My mother told me that 44 JOURNAL OP AVILLIAM EVANS. she had a serious opportunity with him respecting the course he was pursuing, and remonstrated firmly against it, endeavor- ing to bring him to feel the danger that awaited himself, and the prejudicial effects it must have upon others. She said he appeared to be affected by her hibors with him. It however availed little, as his after course proved. After getting through with the services which my mother and Sarah Wilson had in view, we returned home. • 1817, Second month 15th. The Delaware river closed about the 24th of last month; preceding that time the weather had been unusually mild, which gave rise to the expectation that we should hfive a very moderate winter ; but the greater part of the last two weeks has been excessively cold. Sleighs, carts and wagons have been running on the river without the small- est apprehension of danger. This morning the mercury stood at five degrees below zero. 16th. This morning my father-in-law, Aai'on Musgrave, died, ill the 54th year of his age. He manifested a steady patience throughout his illness, and though ho expressed but little re- specting his prospects of futurity, yet his quiet, resigned frame of mind, left no doubt with those who attended him in his sick- ness, that his end was peace. The view of a fellow mortal gradually wasting away, until the earthly tabernacle is no longer able to retain that part which is designed for an eternal duration, is humbling. It shows the weakness of the tenure of all sublunary enjoyments, and calls loudly to those yet left behind, to use all diligence in the great business of salvation, liut how easily do we suffiT ourselves to elude the force of impressions made by such ex- amples. Self-denial of the fleeting gratifications of this world is a work very unwelcome to the natui-al man ; but it must nevertheless be submitted to, if we expect to become conquerors through Him that loved and died for us. " They that are Christ's have crucified the flesh, with the affections and lusts." Sixth month. Hannah Shinn, a minister belonging to our Monthly Meeting, and my dear mother, having concerns to at- tend New England Yearly Meeting, I accompanied them to it. We went to New York and from thence in the steamboat for New London, where we took stage for Providence, Rhode Island, and put u]) at Obadiah Brown's. Our women Frienda were taken in their carriage to Newport, and I went by water. JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 45 In Kewport we were quartered at D. Williams', where we often had the company of many Friends. The Yearly Meeting was one of considerable exercise to our women Friends. During the week we had several religious opportunities; in one of them at our lodgings, my mind was so brought under ex- ercise on account of some present, and the passage presenting, " If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world let him first become a fool that he may be wise," that I felt con- strained to revive it, with a short application. A minister* took it up and spoke upon it, which seemed confirming that I was not mistaken. We attended a few meetings after the Yearly Meet- ing, crossed to Conanicut Island, and thence on to Nai'raganset, where we procui-ed a conveyance to New London. Next morning left the wharf in a steamboat for New Haven, and thence to New Y''ork — attended the meeting at Liberty Street, and next morn- ing took our departure for home, which we reached the follow- ing day about 11 o'clock. Eighth month 8th. In consequence of the fines assessed by the late court-martial, upon Friends, who could not comply with the requisitions of the Government, either to serve in the recent war with Grreat Britain, or to furnish substitutes, the houses of many were visited by the marshal's deputies, and their bedding and furniture carried off by cart loads. In several instances the value of the goods distrained was from one hundred to two hundred dollars. One Friend, residing in the vicinity of the city, had his carriage, worth one hundred, dollars taken and sold for rather more than forty dollars. The fine being fifty dollars, the deputy returned and took his chaise, which lately cost one hundred dollars. Thus a family were not only deprived of the means of conveyance to their religious meetings, but compelled to sustain a loss of two hundred dollars to meet a fine of fifty dollars, arbitrarily imposed by a court-martial, from whose deci- sions there is no appeal. These decisions were evidently marked with great partiality ; as a neighbor of the Friend was fined but nine dollars, though no shade of difference could be per- ceived in the circumstances of the respective cases; except that one was a member of a religious society whose testimony against war is coeval with its existence. While these distraints and great sacrifice of Friends' property were carrying on, they did not fail to lay account of them befox-e the public through * Stephen Grellet. 46 JOURXAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. the mediiini of one of the daily papers, and some of them were such flagrant violations of what even military men would re- gard as just, that they brought some of the deputies to shame, and a stop was put to it. The unjust proceedings consequent upon the late war, often led me to many serious reflections upon its desolating ettects, both in the destruction of human life, and the unjust persecu- tion of conscientious men who cannot join in with it. The mind that is clothed with Divine love, the charity which endu- reth all things, sincerely and humbly desires the welfare of all men, even of those who treat us with coldness, or actuated by the spirit of rev^enge, seek to injure us. Where this heavenly feeling subsists, the spirit of revenge, which is the spirit of war, has no place. One is from heaven, from the Fountain of love, which seeks the salvation of all men; the other is derived from the malevolence of the fallen spirits or devils, who are constantly seeking the injury and final destruction of all men. Ninth month 9Lh. At different times in the course of my life I have apprehended that at some period, I should be en- gaged in publicly laboring in the great cause of Truth, to turn the attention of others, through its constraining power, from darkness to light and from the power of Satan unto God. Clear and distinct openings have been made upon my mind in a very impressive manner, in relation to the standing and qualification of a gospel minister. It has appeared to me necessary that through the humbling power of Christ, and the baptisms of the cross, his will should be reduced, and a state of childlike r^ liance on the Leader of Israel, in a good degree attained, that he may be prepared to stand as an instrument through whom the Lord condescends to speak to his people. For several months past the time appeared to be drawing nigh for me to make more public the concern that had been shut up in my own breast. I had many impressive openings which seemed nearly ripe for communicating, but remembering the awfulness and importance of the work, I kept back. Some- times I rejoiced after meetings in believing they were Divine impressions, and sometimes I felt concerned that by putting otf too long, I might get into the habit of slighting them, while I was looking for satisfactory evidence of the origin of the con- cern. But He who knows how to deal with his children, did not forsake me, but furnished with a fresh opening this morn- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 47 ing in our Fourth-day meeting. As heretofore 1 was preparing to set it aside for further confirmation, when a beloved Friend was engaged to call upon some to be faithful — that no sign should be given, but that of the prophet Jonah, who for his disobedience was permitted to descend into deep suffering and anguish. This seemed so clearly applicable, that recollecting 1 had passed through many night seasons, and feeling after she sat down the Iresh arisings of the concern, I stood up and with an audible voice, said, " God is our refuge, in Him will we put our trust. They that trust in the Lord shall never be confounded, but they shall be as Mount Zion that cannot be removed. Christ Jesus remains to be the eternal Kock and foundation ; blessed are all they that are built upon Him." My mind was preserved in calmness throughout the day, free from doubt of the propriety of my moving in the weighty and solemn work. My dear friend, Thomas Kite, called down at the store to see me, and though he said but little, seemed like one who rejoiced that a child was born, secretly desiring that preser- vation and proper nourishment might be vouchsafed by Him who alone can give them. Tenth month 15th. " Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am ?" And they said, " Some say that thou art John the Baptist ; some Elias, and others, Jeremias, or one of the pro- phets." Yarious have been the opinions of many, perhaps in every age since, respecting the Messiah, and in none, more so than in the present. There are societies who consider them- selves Christians that make no scruple to profess they believe Him to be no other than man, though they acknowledge He was a great prophet, divinely insj)ired, but in no way differing from those prophets and good men who preceded Him. It is a most fearful state of unbelief to be introduced into, and must finally land the mind in great wretchedness. When Jesus put the question to his discij)les, "But who say ye that I am ?" Peter answered, " Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God. And Jesus answered and said unto him. Blessed art thou, Simon Barjona, for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven ; and I say also unto thee, that thou art Peter, and upon this rock 1 will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it." Men may endeavor to satisfy themselves, from the testimony of the prophets and apostles, respecting our blessed Saviour, whose tes- 48 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. timony is true and invaluable to the true believer, yet I believe the saving knowledge of Cfod and of his dear Sou, and true faith in Him, are received in no other way but by the revelation of the Spirit in the soul. By a childlike reception and reliance upon its divine openings, walking in the obedience of faith, we shall be prepared for further discoveries of his will, and be gradually enabled to comprehend in degree, as He sees fit, the mystery of Godliness. Numerous are the testimonies of Christ himself and of his apostles to his eternal divinity, as recorded in the Scriptures of Truth, which become substantial evidence to us, as they are unfolded and confirmed by the Holy Spirit ; leading us to an unreserved belief of them, as it would assur- edly^ do all who have the Holy Scriptures, and are entirely given up to its requirings. The apostle Paul clearly shows the distinction between the Son and Sent of the Father, and his angels and ministers. "Who maketh his angels, spirits, and his ministers a flame of fire; but unto the Son he saith. Thy throne, O God, is forever and ever ; a sceptre of righteousness is the sceptre of thy kingdom." Tenth month 25th. In our morning and afternoon meetings the prevalence of a worldly spirit was felt. If the profits and friendship of the world be our primar}'' pursuit, thej'' become in a great measure the gods we worship; and it is not to be supposed, that such worshippers who have their backs to the temple, will be favored to feel the life of Truth to rise into dominion over their fleshly minds, just when they may choose to assemble in the character of public wor8hi])pers. Tenth month 28th. This day was held our Monthly Meeting for the Southern District. We had the company of Silas Down- ing from Long Island, and William Eiekman from England. On answering some of the Queries, it Avas evident that much de- linquency prevailed in the attendance of our meetings for wor- shi]) and discipline — the free circulation of true love, and its in- variable com])anion, unit}'', has been much impeded ; and hence the barrenness often felt in our meetings for Divine worship ; which no doubt is a discouragement to many^ who are not suf- ficiently zealous in the performance of this essential duty. There is a number who are concerned at heart for the u])right support of our discipline and cannot rest satisfied with su])er- ficial conclusions: but the same cause which hinders the arising of Divine life in our assemblies fur pulilic worship, operates to JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 49 produce indiifereBce and unsound judgment on the part of others, iu relation to the disposal of some cases that come before us. Eleventh month 1st. This morning the meeting was held in silence. When the disciples enquired of the Master "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven ? Jesus called a little child unto Him and set him in the midst of them and said, verily, I say unto you, except ye be converted and become as little cliildi'cn, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Oh the great value of true humility! not a mere voluntary servile humility, which is often accompanied with an improper admiration of the gifts and standing of others. True humility is attained through mortification and the abasement of self, while the false and spurious, may be held with imaginary importance and a quick- ness of sensibility that is incapable of bearing the reproaches of others. Under the humbling operations of the power of Truth we are prepared for the Master's use, either silently to suffer with the Seed that is oppressed in the hearts of men, or when He arises, openly to advocate his blessed cause, to bring judg- ment home to the transgressor, and encourage the sincere travellers to hold up their heads in hope. 4th. The marriage of Joseph Ehoads with my sister Hannah was accomplished to-day. Being surrounded by friends and connections, the occasion frequently revived the recollection of mj'^ own marriage a few years since, and the endearing coun- tenance and manners of a beloved companion, now among the spirits of the blessed; and also the uncertain tenure of all earthly joys. Eichard Jordan attended the meeting and dined with us. He mentioned in his testimony, that our trials if rightly profited by, would tend to advance the great work of man's salvation. I remembered some of my own conflicts, and hoped that through the continued goodness of my Heavenly Father, I might not miss of being benefited b}^ them, but might spend my strength and the remainder of my time in my blessed Master's service ; either in bearing the requisite share of baptism for myself and for the sake of others, or in more openly advocating his glorious cause of truth and righteous- ness in the earth. 15th. I have felt concerned for the lapsed, mixed state of the church. I have seen a spirit at work among us, which aims at 50 JOURNAL OF AVILLIAM EVANS. drawing the minds of many from a simple dependence uj^on the internal guidance of the Head of the Church, and is opposed to the administration of sound discipline. It is very ready to judge the ministry of substantial Friends, while it pleads for that which is supported with money, and stands in the will and wisdom of man. We are weak enough already, but propagat- ing unsound opinions, neither contributes to our own good nor that of others. As certainly as we forsake the secret sense which the Truth begets in relation to our individual duty, and depend upon the wisdom and the reasoning of man, our minis- try will become destitute of the quickening power and virtue of the Holy Spirit, and the Society dwindle into lifeless for- mality. I have continued attending the meeting to which I belong, without feeling any inclination to go to any other in the city. They have not been without instruction to myself, though I have not felt it to be right to impart the exercise which has come over me at times, until this morning, when the impres- sions attending a little opening were such, that I was induced to offer it. 26th. There are many pollutions in the world with which we are liable to be defiled, through unwatchfulness, or disobedi- ence ; but the Lord of life and glory will not dwelf in a defiled heart. How necessary then to submit to his purifying bap- tisms — that of the Holy Ghost and fire ; and when in his un- speakable goodness, He has cleansed and prepared the heai't a fit temple for his Holy Spirit to dwell in, let us be very careful how we defile it. ' <'If any man defile the temple of God, him will God destroy." " One day is with the Lord as a thousand years and a thou- sand years as one day." There is no haste with Him in carry- ing on his work; and in order to witness the accomplishment of his gracious purposes concerning us, we must learn to dwell in the faith and patience of the saints. Christ Jesus is the blessed author and finisher of the saints' faith ; He will furnish with sufficient light to discover our respective duties, and as Ave humbly follow his leadings, will carry on and perfect his work, to his own praise and our everlasting peace. ' Twelfth month 31st. On the 29th, about two o'clock in the afternoon, died our beloved friend, Sai-ah Wilson, (wife of Ed- ward,) a minister and member of our Monthly Meeting. She JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 51 was taken sick on the 26th, and on the 28th became alarm- ingly ill, and sank very fast. Her mind was kept in a tranquil state, and with much composure she took leave of all her family. Richard Jordan, who was strongly attached to her, I understood was present at her departure, and afterwards said he thought he had never witnessed such feelings of solemnity and awfulness, as on that occasion ; accompanied with an indu- bitable evidence that she was received into the arms of her Saviour in the mansions of everlasting blessedness. She was possessed of a mild temper and affable manners — cheerful though not light — dignified in her deportment, yet truly hum- ble, and manifesting a sympathizing spirit towards those in affliction. Her gift in the ministry was precious — her appear- ances were not frequent, but attended with a degree of baptis- ing virtue, and evidently the product of heartfelt exercise on account of those, to whom her divine Master put her forth to minister. We might have expected from her age and health, and her qualifications for usefulness, that at this time of weak- ness in the church, and departure of many from a steady sub- mission to the yoke of Christ, she would have been continued long to occupy her valuable gift and talents in helping to guard the flock, and to build up the waste places of Zion. But He who made her what she was, has in his unsearchable wisdom, cut short her work in righteousness, and although the priva- tion of her society and labors has been painful to us, it must be her gain. We have our day's work to perform, and to endeavor to have our lamps trimmed and loins girded. Wait- ing daily upon our Lord to know and to fulfil his will, is our individual duty ; and happy will it be when the end comes, to have a well-grounded hope, from the testimony of the Holy Spirit, that a place of glorious rest is prepared for us through the imutterable mercy of God in Christ Jesus our Lord ; having walked in faithfulness to his divine requirings. 52 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. CHAPTEE III. 1819—1823. Waiting before the Lord — Visit to Ohio — Unsound Sentiments of Eliaa Hicks — Necessity for Watchfulness — Family Visit — Duty of Keeping in True Patience — Severe Ilhiess — Desertion and Distress — Trial of Faith — Letter from a Friend — Acknowledged as a Minister — Yearly Meeting — Discouraging Fears — Ranterism in New England — Spread of Unsound Doctrines — Testimony of J. Whitall — Reflections on the State of Society. 1819, First month 10th. There is a material difference be- tween what we call good thoughts, and being brought to sit under the teachings of Christ in our own hearts, when assem- ])led for divine worship. His words are spirit and they are life to tlie soul; but the wanderings of the mind in contem- plating religious truths, without the influence of his Spirit, must end in barrenness and poverty. Hence it is our chief ])usine8S to labor to get to a state of humble waiting before Him, that wo may be instructed by the gracious words that still proceed from Ilim in his spiritual appearance in tlie heart. Fifth month 2d. It is a great favor to be redeemed from all outward and human dependence, and to have the mind brought simply and singly to w^ait upon God. In a state of reverent silence before him. He is at times pleased to manifest himself l>y the diffusion of his light and love, and the soul being clothed with gratitude to the Author of all its sure mercies, is enabled to worship as in his presence, and to offer up thanks- givings and praise to his great name. Herein is experienced the communion of saints as at his table, a participation of the l)ody and blood of Christ. The soul is nourished and strength- ened not only l)y the living virtue immediately flowing from the Head, but is edified by that strength which every joint supplieth, by the effectual working of the measure of Grace in every part of the body. These vicAVS 0])ened before me this mornin", but for want of coming to a state of humble, patient waiting, I did not fully realize them in my own experience, liatterly this has been nothing new — but perhaps the period is not far distant, when I shall be again restored to a more steady and sensible enjoyment of this blessed communion, so essential 1o our spiritual life, and the successful maintenance of the JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 53 Christian warfare. Oh ! the necessity of keeping the faith in times of stripping and desertion. Without it we shall be over- come by temptation, rather than be made conquerors. Sixth month 11th. After a time of silence for several months, on fourth-day the 9th, I again apprehended myself called upon to communicate some matter which was opened beiore me. Like many other presentations, I had doubts whether it was designed for others, and nearly concluded I should leave the meeting in silence ; but after attaining a state of resigna- tion either to speak or to be silent, all doubt was removed, and I was enabled to otfer what came before me, with calmness and a degree of innocent boldness. I make these memoranda for my own use at a future period of life, should it be prolonged, that on looking back I may see how I have progressed from one time to another. There are many lessons to be learned in silence as well as in speaking, and to be brought into a state of childlike docility, and obedience to the leadings of our heavenly Shepherd, seems to be the principal end of all the dispensations of his wisdom. The haughtiness of man must be laid low, and the Lord alone exalted in that heart which is prepared to be acceptably en- gaged in his service. In a state of deep humility and patient waiting upon Him, we become prepared to discern the motions of his Spirit, and in simplicity to yield compliance therewith. There is as much need to learn to be still, and to know the active, forward disposition of the human mind reduced to sub- jection, as there is to experience a willingness wrought to per- f<)rm the Lord's will when it is manifested. He is a wise Master Builder, and if we abide under his preparing hand, He Avill fashion us into vessels and instruments for his use. Ninth month 26th. Having had some views of attending Ohio Yearly Meeting, and being desirous of seeing a beloved sister-in-law, I set off the 17th of last month, for Zanesville, to which town she had removed with her husband last winter. I got there on the 28th, after a lonely ride through a country al- together new to me, and remained with them five days. I set out homeward for Mount Pleasant, and on the way came up with a Friend residing in that State, who was going to the Yearly Meeting. It was pleasant to fall in with a Friend, though a stranger to me, and we kept in company throughout the remainder of the journey there. I went to a public house, 5 54 JOURNAL OF WTLLIAM EVANS. but was soon eomfbrtahly provided Tor at a Friend's house in the village. 1 attended the sittings of the Yearly Meeting, which were accompanied with a good degree of solemnity. They had been engaged in revising their discipline, which was read and adojited. A proposition to divide the Yearly Meet- ing, which had been under consideration for two years, Avas dismissed, from a belief that the time for such a measure was not yet come. This conclusion appeared to be nnexpected by many, but such was the evidence of its propriety, that Friends generally expressed their satisfaction with it. This opportunity furnished fresh evidence of the goodness and care of our Holy Shepherd, who watches his flock by night and by day, and in the needful time, as He is waited upon, manifesteth himself for its preservation. Several Friends from the eastern Yearly Meetings were present. I returned home, having been absent five weeks and four days. Vessels must be emptied belbrc they are prepared to be filled; and not only emptied, but cleansed. This is especially the case with the vessels of the Lord's house. Tenth month 11th. Attended the Monthly Meeting of Ilad- donfield, in which I had a little service. It was accompanied and concluded with peaceful ness. Eleventh month 2d. Elias llicks having been in the city six daj's, went out to Germantown this morning. The meetings where he was present have been very large. The variety and novelty in his communications excited much curiosity, a great deal of remark, and perhaps, in some instances, disgust. Ho is hold in assertion, extensive in his ranges, and not nnfreqnently appears inconsistent with his previously expressed opinions. I was tried with his manner of treating the doctrine of the Three that bear record in heaven, in one of his testimonies at Mount Pleasant, Ohio. In speaking of the new birth in man, as cifected by the Holy Spirit, he said, here is Father, Son and Holy Ghost; which according to the nuinner in which he and his adherents applied Scripture, appeared to me to be designed to draw away the mind from a sound belief in the Three that bear record in heaven, and fjisten uj)()n hisht^arers the idea that in no other way are wo to believe in the Son of God than as the new birth in man. I spoke to him as wo walked ft'om meeting •over to Jonathan Taylor's, and remarked that it a]>peared to nie lie had not held forth the faith of Friends in our Saviour, as JOURNAL OF AVILLIAM EVANS. 55 he is glorified at the right hand of the Father. He turned away from the subject by saying, " The Apostles were often misunder- stood;" but he avoided giving any further explanation of his opinions, as we might suppose a man would do who was not afraid of being detected, and really held and wished to advocate the doctrines of our Saviour and his Apostles. It is a favor amidst the noises and confusion there arc in the world to feel something on which we can rest with certainty. As we labor to dwell near the Truth in our own hearts, this is at such seasons more eminently experienced, and its advantages more correctly prized. "My sheep," said Christ, "hear my voice and I know them, and they follow me ; and I give unto them eternal life and they shall never perish, neither shall any pluck them out of my hand." He is still the Bishop and Shep- herd of his flock ; He still feedeth them by day and keepeth them by night ; He causeth them to feed in green pastures, the pastures of life; He makeththem to lie down beside still waters. This is a state of true peacefulness, the enjojTiient of that jieaco which passeth the understanding of man, and of which, as we abide under the shadow of his wing, the world and all its com- motions cannot rob us. Eleventh month 5th. I attended the meeting at Springfield yesterday, where I was impressed Avith the belief it was right to communicate some matter which opened before me ; but on sitting down an inquiry was raised in my mind whether I had not better have kept silent. I could not perceive any uneasi- ness that convinced me I had erred, and therefore concluded the sensation of desertion was best for me, though not pleasant to the creature. It is an humbling, mortifying work ; but if we are preserved in the Lord's hand, not running without his com- mand, nor lagging behind our guide, it will be enough ; and when He sees proper. He will give evidence that the work is his, and that as we faithfully submit to him in all things. He will perfect it to his praise — at least this is my sincere hope and belief. Eleventh month 16th. The instances that have occurred of persons who began well, but afterwards made shipwreck of foith and of a good conscience, are subjects of mournful reflection, both for their's and the great cause' sake. Under feelings of love to our Heavenly Father, we may at times be ready to con- clude, that we are resolved to follow Him and shall no more 56 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. forsake him. The power of temptation is often strong and potently pressing, and although, so far, we have been kept from being cast away, j^et unless the watch is maintained ; and we are frequently brought to feel our need of daily help, and that of ourselves we cannot stand, and thereby are led to cry unto the Lord for preservation, we may be overtaken in an unwary hour, and carried by temptation into a land of pits and snares, whence we cannot easily escape, and may bring upon ourselves deep suffering, and reproach on the holy cause we had espoused. The growth from infancy to manhood is by slow and almost imperceptible gradations ; as Ave advance in religious experi- ence by little and little, so by a gradual neglect of watchful- ness and prayer, we may decline and finally lose our standing in the Truth. How important then frequently to remember the rock whence we were hewn, and the hole of the pit wdience w'e were digged. It was not our own arm that effected this, but His who saw us in a state of corruption, and in mercy said unto us, live ! Oh let us lie low before Him, and above all things desire, that in heights and in depths. He will be pleased to keep us in the hollow of his holy hand, and by the cleansing operations of his baptizing power, qualify us for the perform- ance of our allotted service in his church militant on earth. Eleventh month 17th. When the Master directed Simon and his companions to launch out into the deep and let down the net for a draught; thinking perhaps it would be unavailing, he re- plied, that they had toiled all the night and had taken nothing ; nevertheless, at thy word I will let down the net ; and com- plying with his direction when and where to cast it, they en- closed a great multitude of fishes. If this is figurative of the Christian's duty and experience, it shows that our exertion, in- dependent of Divine direction and aid, will prove unavailing , that Ave must, notAvithstanding, be prepared to receive the com- mand of our divine Master, and that l)y obedience we shall not fail to obtain that heaAi-cnly food which Avill noui-ish and sustain the soul. Twelfth month 26th. Last fifth-day I attended Green Street Monthly Meeting. It required some exertion to get through the discouragement presented in the way ; but I was satisfied in going, as it furnished an opportunity of viewing some of the defects, and the AA'ant of a liA^ely zeal in some — a worldly spirit having so gained the ascendency, that many do not sec, or vicAV with JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 57 much iudiifereuce, the degeneracy that has overtaken us. Others having become accustomed to this state of things, al- though they sometimes show some concern for the support of Truth's cause, yet in a general way, they seem to have scarcely energy to make any opposition to unsound measures and con- clusions ; and thus they drag along, keeping up something of the form, without knowing the power to be in dominion. A little service in the second meeting, opened the way for me from under a cloud which had rested on me for several months. My way was shut uj) during that period for any public service, although I was frequently favored with instructive openings in relation to the Christian warfare, and would be almost ready to conclude they were designed for others ; but as I kept pa- tiently waiting for a satisfactory evidence, they gradually dis- apj)eared. These dispensations are comparable to a state of death and burial ; out of which nothing but the same quicken- ing power that reanimated Lazarus, can raise the soul and qualify it for service in the great cause ; and this He will cer- tainl}^ do, as we endeavor to keep the faith, waiting upon Him for his appearance. "I am the resurrection and the life ; he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live ; and whosoever liveth and believeth in me, shall never die." The life of these, though not visible to themselves, is hid with Christ in God ; and in these seasons, some may be ready to conclude, as Martha did respecting her brother, that all hope of restoration to life is lost, and by this time they have be- come offensive. They may suppose that Divine Goodness has seen them unworthy of his gifts, and consequently He has wholly taken them away. But let none of the tribulated fol- lowers of Christ cast away their confidence in Him. Although He is called the Lord that hideth his face from the house of Jacob, He has never said to his wrestling seed, ''Seek ye my face in vain ;" but when the end of these necessarj^ baptisms is attained. He wull again appear to their unspeakable comfort, renew their faith, and clothe them with fresh qualification to sing of his mercies and of his judgments. 1820. Third month 30th, The Monthly Meeting having been brought under religious exercise on account of the frequent ab- sence of some of the members from many of our meetings, be- lieved it right to separate a few Friends to take the concern in charge, and as way opened to visit the objects of it. When we 58 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. sat down together, a sense of our weakness and poverty wa8 felt ; but believing that as our dependence was steadily placed upon Him who declared, that if two of his disciples agreed touching anything they should ask in his name, it should be done for them of his Father, He would grant the requisite ability to discharge the duties He required of us, we proceeded in making the necessary arrangements for the performance of the service ; and so far as I have been a witness, there was rea- son for humble thankfulness, for the timely manifestation of his goodness, in covering our hearts with love, and furnishing matter for the different states of the visited ; with whom w^e were favored with some seasons of great tenderness. Sixth month 11th. On reviewing our progress in the above- mentioned visit, I believe it was peculiarly useful to myself. It afforded an opportunity of experiencing the gentle openings of Truth, at times when nothing else could supply ability to discharge the service which was laid upon us ; thereby strength- ening our confidence in the alone Arm of saving help, and showing that however destitute we may feel, as we are rightly introduced and engaged in his work. He will not fail in due season to show Himself strong on the behalf of his children whose trust is in Him alone. He will string their bow and cover their heads in the time of every battle, and cause them to rejoice in his unmerited goodness and condescension. Oh! that all who are employed in his service, would hold fast their con- fidence, not daring to go forth without the evidence of his pre- paring power, but firmly possess their souls in patience until the evidence is given ; and then their bow would not be turned backward, nor would they fail to perform the work to which He has sent them. For want of keeping the word of the Lord's patience, how are many warming themselves with sparks of their own kind- ling, and thereby not only reaping the reward of poverty and sorrow, but bringing into disrepute the precious cause, and the dignified office of a Gospel minister, in which they profess them- selves to have a part. Neither the most extensively gifted, nor those of the largest experience, have anything of their own to communicate which can really profit the people. All must reverently wait upon Him, without whom they can do nothing; and it is only as He opens the spring and causes it afresh to JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 59 flow, that an}-, the least or the greatest, are authorized and qualified, to attempt to minister to the states of others. Sixth month 18th. The Meeting for Sufferings was held on the 16th, which I attended, having been appointed by the late Yearly Meeting to supply a vacancy. It was an interest- ing occasion. The degree of responsibility which is attached to that body is weighty. They seem like the guardians of the principles and character of the Society, in relation to its pub- lications, and its appearance before the world in vindication of our civil and religious rights, and the rights of the oppressed who are unable to plead their own cause. Seventh month 16th. Several weeks past have been a time of much stripping of all qualification for religious service. Such seasons are abundantly necessary for me, in order that I may from real experience and feeling, become effectually convinced that He who puts forth his own sheep and goeth before them, is the only Source whence ability can be derived for any good word or work. Nothing so indelibly stamps the conviction of this, as the withdrawal of his sensible presence. When this is the case, our situation resembles Mount Gilboa, w^here David wished there might be neither dew nor rain, nor fields of offer- ing. Those seasons would no doubt be shortened if we adhe- red faithfully to the Captain of our salvation. But how apt are we to become weary of a state in which all our building seems to be taken down, and all capacity that was heretofore furnished for the work seems to be almost lost. Were it not for a secret confidence in the Lord's unfailing goodness, the hope of its restoration must be entirely abandoned. He that w^alketh about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devoui", is also not wanting in attempts, through his subtle insinua- tions, to destroy the love and unity which has been felt with tho brethren, and which seems the only remaining stay to the tossed mind. But all bitterness and evil surmising must be purged out, and we brought to dwell under the covering of that charity which thinketh no evil, and enables to bear patiently the reproaches or unfavorable opinions of others. Eighth month 21st. Until yesterday I had been silent in our meetings, nearly three months. My mind has not, through that period, been without encouraging and instructive openings; but I did not feel authorized to communicate them ; although sometimes almost readj^ to conclude they were designed for 60 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. others as well as myself. But carefully waiting for a satisfac- tory evidence of this, they have been gradually withdrawn, and the persuasion has generally remained that silence was pro- perly my duty. tSometimes I thought perhaps I should no more be called on to expose myself in that way, though I had no reason to doubt the propriety of my previous steps in this work ; yet the floods of temptation w^ere such, that I had not always kept the faith so as to have my thoughts sufficiently brought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and therefore I should not be favored with a qualification to advocate the power of Divine Grace in enabling to resist temptation, and thus tread down the enemy in all his approaches. Purity of heart is unquestionably a necessary preparation for the Lord's work ; and it is an abominable sentiment that a man may be a minister and servant of Jesus Christ, while he is trampling upon his holy law written in the heart, serving his own lusts. We must in a good degree experience the work of regeneration, before we can expect to be entrusted with his gifts for the edification of the church. After He has given the o-ifts, if any man sin we have an advocate with the Father, even Jesus Christ the righteous, who knew no sin. In his adorable condescension, He is pleased, upon unfeigned repent- ance, to blot out our misses and transgressions, restore us to his favor, and again clothe with authority to preach the glad tidings of the gospel of salvation. Ninth month 27th. Several weeks past a malignant fever has prevailed in this city, which proved mortal in most of the cases. They were not numerous, yet it was found necessary to remove the inhabitants from the neighborhood where it first appeared, and to fence in the district. It was a little distance from my store, and on the night of the 26th of last month, I was attacked with the disease, and confined about twelve days, greater part of the time to the bed. Eeflecting upon the uncer- tainty of the result, and the instances of my unfaithfulness which presented, my situation felt truly awful. I remembered the description of those who had eaten and drunk in the Lord's presence, partaken of his teachings, and had cast out devils, and performed many wonderful works ; but for want of keeping their integrity to the end, received at last the awful sentence of separation from his holy presence. I seemed to be in com- pany with the spirits of those unfaithful servants. The eun JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 61 was turned into darkness and the moon into blood, the heavens passed away like a scroll, and every mountain and island was removed out of its place. The beams of the Sun of righteous- ness were entirely withdrawn, and the sentence of death seemed to have gone forth. All my former experiences were perfectly obliterated, and there ajspeared nothing left upon which I could ground any hope of happiness. After passing several days of darkness, distress and uncer- tainty, a glimmer of hoj^e that this was a dispensation for my refinement, was produced by the presentation of those expres- sions : " The kings of the earth, the great men, and the mighty men, hid themselves." I saw that everything " high and lifted u]}," had now disappeared, and I was ready to surrender all that the Lord's controversy was with, if I should be again en- trusted with time to perform the duties that yet remained to fill up my allotted measure. I think I never passed through a season, wherein every feeling of Divine good was so entirely removed. After some time, my hoj)e and confidence in Divine mercy were gradually restored. Some passages of the Scrip- tures were opened, and the views I was again favored with, df the humility and purity indispensably necessary for a minister and servant of Christ, raised the belief that the Divine hand was still at work. The language that perhaps " This sickness was not unto death, but for the glory of God," raised a further hope that I was not cast off; but that He would again have mercy, and that it would prove the means for preparing me, more acceptably to come up in his service. For if these w^ere his fatherly dealings for my purification, though in judgment. He had not entirely forsaken me, but in due time would again manifest Himself to my comfort and rejoicing. A few days after the crisis of the disease, I began to take nourishment, and when sufficiently restored, went to my bro- ther's, at Springfield, to recover my former strength. Twelfth month 24th. In the revelations made to the apostle John, he had a view of those who had come through great trib- ulation, and had washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. This vision was corroborative of the testi- mony of our blessed Lord to his disciples : " In the world ye shall have tribulation," but He immediately adds, "Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." It is in this path the righteous have trodden in all ages, and it is only by faithfully 62 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVAN adhering to the invincible Captain of salvation, that any of the pi'esent or of any succeeding day, will be enabled to walk in their footsteps. There are seasons of bitter trial, and dispensa- tions peculiarly abasing, which are necessary for our humilia- tion and refinement, and which w^e have need to recollect during their operation, are nothing new. But oh ! the reluct- ance we feel at taking these cups. How many start aside at the presentation, and seem determined to walk no more with their Lord. Such, if they persist, will be cripples all their lives ; they cannot attain to the measure of the stature of the fulness of Divine power, which lie would bestow, where simple obedience accompanies all his requisitions. In our meeting last fourth-day, the 20th, I felt an intimation to kneel, which after a time of shrinking, was given up to. It was such a trial as I had never before experienced. I was favored to get through, though under such feelings of great unworthi- ness and deep mortification, that afterwards I thought if the elders were to inform me they were now satisfied I had no part in the ministry, it would be sufficient to induce me to refrain hereafter from appearing in that way. Although very little sense of Divine power seemed to accompany my mind in the performance of what I believed was the Master's requiring, I have not felt anything like condemnation, but a desire to be more steadily devoted to his service, that in childlike simplicity I may comply with his commands, however foolish the work may appear in the eye of worldly wisdom — this must all be mor- tified and laid in the dust. 1821, Second month 4th. This morning we had a stranger at our meeting. In his testimony he told us his mind had been much exercised for several days past, under a belief that con- siderable change would be made among us in this place. Many who were as spiritual fathers and mothers would be removed ; and he wished the younger part of the Society might manifest the desire Elisha did to continue with his master Elijah, so as to bear up their hands during their stay amongst us ; and that as he did, wo also should be engaged to desire that a double portion of the good Spirit which had influenced them, might rest on their successors. It is consistent with Infinite Wisdom in his dealings with his children, to strip them at times of the armor which He had furnished for his work, and to draw their attention to the state JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 63^ of their own minds ; that having been engaged to promote the cultivation of the vineyards of others,, their own may not be neglected. In this disjDensation it is necessary to watch against the feeling of impatience, so as to be induced to seek after something, to supply the loss which is experienced by the re- moval of that portion of exercise we have had for others, and. in which we have been furnished with suitable matter for them and food for ourselves. Here it is necessaiy to keep the faith and the patience of the saints ; in which we shall be enabled to resist temptation, and be prepared to receive our Lord at his coming, who will pronounce those servants blessed, whom He shall find w^atching. 25th. Several daj^s ago, I had some instructive conversation with my beloved father respecting the ministry, and the present very depressed state of our religious Society. The falling away among us of many, W' ho had been divinely favored w4th gifts for the edification of the church, and perfecting the work as- signed them, appeared to me to have produced a slight estima- tion of these gifts, and to create the opinion that very little dependence was to be placed upon those occupying this station ; as such sorrowful evidence had been given of great instability in some who had made high profession, and preached much against the defects of others. He remarked that the degene- racy was not greater than among the Jews ; and yet the pro- phets, by faithfulness to the Heavenly Leader, were enabled to stand their ground, and boldly declare against the corruptions of that day. That a gift in the ministry was more important than any other. By living in the gift, keeping daily under religious exercise, so as to be prepared to act whenever the gift opens any service, and in simplicity, without creaturely contri- vance or adorning, yielding obedience thereto, we may experi- ence a growth, and be instrumental in building up the waste places of Zion. On the other hand, if we keep not close to our gifts, w^e may miss of a growth, and become the means of in- troducing a lifeless, windy ministry into the church, which may bring people into a form of godliness, but without the powen Fifth month 10th. When we seem a little to have left that innocency and childlike dependence which is essential to those who desire to be the faithful companions of a crucified Lord, He in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, 64 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. sees proper to vary his dispensations in order to bring back and to show us by experience, that safety is only to be wit- nessed througli close watchfulness and entire reliance upon Him. In our meeting on first-day morning the sixth, a number of instructive views passed before my mind, in relation to the fearful condition which those will be found in who have been living as without God in the world, when He rises up to judgment ; and also regarding the fallacy of cherishing any disposition or practice, opposed to the humility and self-denial of Christ ; to which seemed applicable his declaration, "Every plant w^hich my heavenly Father has not planted shall be rooted up." As has been the case before, these openings disappeared with- out leaving much impression, and a time of wrestling with floating thoughts, in order to get to a place of steady waiting, ensued. Towards the latter part of the meeting, that expres- sion again came up, producing the sensation of duty to com- municate it, accompanied with the reluctance to engage in the awful work. I endeavored to wait for the perturbation to subside, that if anything was said, it might be with proper de- liberation ; and when the word seemed to be in my mouth, I stood up and repeated the above expression of our Saviour, with some little addition ; but as I waited in expectation that further matter would be furnished, as it had been at other times, to my admiration, the prospect died away, with all ability to say a word. A declaration of the Most High, respecting his own Divine character presented, but fearing to utter anything as in his name, without feeling his authority, and thus be liable to the query, "Who hath required this at thy hand?" I omitted it and stood silent for some little time, and then closed with a short observation in reference to the passage I had recited, and sat down. I felt quite calm, and, though without seeing how I had missed my way, concluded the atfair had laid me open to criti- cism, and perhaps just censure ; but I believed it best to submit quietly to all the consequences ; not doubting that if I labored to keep near to Him whom I desired to serve, it would prove useful in the end. When an opportunity occurred, I made the enquiry of my beloved parents, whether they did not think I had missed in some way? My father, in a tender manner replied, it was best not to dwell too much upon it ; what I had said was not un- sound, and it was our duty to endeavor to keep near to the gift, JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 65 and in simplicity to yield to its requirings. lie had found in his services, that to begin low and gradually to rise, as the oj)ening strengthened, was safest. This led me to apprehend I had spoken too loudly and strongly, from a degree of excitement, and that might have been one cause of closing the opening, if there was no other. How necessary is it for all who have been in measure cleansed by his sanctifying Word, carefully to guard against the subtilty of the enemy in all his presentations, lest they thereby become wounded ; and in the day when they should have on their armor to engage in the Lord's cause, they may find that He is not with them, as He was wont to be in seasons of greater tenderness, and more faithful obedience to his will. After the above event, I received the following note from a tender-feeling Friend in the ministry ; "Dear Friend: If I was capable of feeling with thee this morning, I supposed the opening closed unexpectedly ; and am free to tell thee it has several times been my case : when I have risen, as I thought in the clearness, the opening has suddenly closed, and I have taken my seat in much self-abasement, and been brought into deep searching of heart. But as I have endeavored to yield myself to the all-wise disposal of Him, who knoweth the motive for action better than we know it our- selves, I have found them instructive lessons. He condescends to make use of the means best calculated to humble our proud natures, and promote our purification, and furtherance in the way and work whereunto He hath called us ; making us fully sensible from whence cometh our sufficiency, that we may draw all our supplies from the alone sure Source of strength and con- solation. For verily the applause or the reproaches of men, will avail but little in the hour of trial. I feel my own littleness, and am aware that my experience is small, but desire thy en- couragement and j)reservation in the Truth. Thy affectionate Friend, S. H." 27th. Living near the river, I have often observed great care is taken by the seamen when they come into port, to secure their vessels properly at the wharf. While they are thus riding in deep water, although high winds may arise, creating much agitation in the imstable element, they remain uninjured. Equal caution is manifest when they are about taking their departure. 66 JOURNAL OP AYILLIAM EVANS. All j)arts of the rigging are put in complete readiness ; the fasts are gradually loosened, and the jn'oper time is watched to de- tach the last mooring, in order to guard against running in contact with other vessels, and thereby damaging themselves and others. When they have satisfactorily made the stream, the commands of the pilot must be strictly observed to keep from grounding on either shore. This caution is necessarily observed in vessels of all dimensions, in proportion to their size and importance. These circumstances conveyed instruction to me on the subject of the ministry. When the mind is in a state of rest, the first openings of Truth may produce a slight im- pression of the service to be performed ; or an introduction into a painful labor after the life of Truth, under a conviction of our inability to do anything for ourselves or others, may tend to let the mind down into a view of its own weakness. These sensa- tions seem like loosening it from its moorings, and beget a wil- lingness to do anything that the Lord may require. Sometimes these openings are taken away and seem lost, and are followed with the apprehension they Avill not reappear. But He in whose hand the work is, knows when to put forth his own. He gently brings the concern up with more life and clearness, until the word is in the mouth, and we feel released from all impediment to communicate what the Lord may gradually open before us. If this preparation is not carefully waited for, either the Gos- pel may not be preached, or the instrument labor with pain to himself, or to those who hear him. It is of great importance to wait for, and to move in the Lord's time. Then shall we be enabled, through humble reliance uj)on Him, faithfully and ac- ceptably to comply with all his requirings, in the prosecution of this truly weighty and awful work. Sixth month 6th. Last week my brother Thomas and my- self, went to John Comfort's, in Bucks county, and attended the Quarterly Meeting held the 31st. The want of faithful, skilful standard-bearers, who know how to keep their places in pa- tience, appeared evident. A meeting may be easily drawn from a solid, gathered state, by hasty and unadvised interference and creaturely activity. Seventh month 26th. There are seasons in which it is pecu- liarly needful to profit by the exhortation of Paul to Timothy: "Thou therefore endure hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." We cannot suppose he wished him to become callous JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EYANS. 67 and insensible to the natural effect on his feelings, of those things which are hard, to bear, but that he might attain to that state of quiet, firm standing, in which he could patiently endure them, without being in danger of making shipwreck and be- coming cast away. When little encouragement is to be derived from others, and the soul is closely beset with tossing, and is tempted to apply to the creature for relief and consolation, how needful is it to feel after a renewal of the invincible faith, by which we may be enabled to possess the soul in patience, and to stand still, confiding in the eternal arm ; in the belief that according to his ancient goodness, the Lord will appear in due time for our help, and enable us to tread Satan and all his presentations under foot, and to ascribe unto the Lord God, the power and the glory, and the right to rule and to reign in the hearts of all his rational creation. Ninth month 9th. Within the last two months I have passed through several close trials, which I hope terminated to my ad- vantage. The enemy of all righteousness seeks to destroy the Ijrecious birth which is of Divine begetting. It matters not to him by what means ; and unless those w^ho are the disciples of Christ keep steadily upon the watch, he may even delude them tinder the pretext of religious concern for the preservation of an individual, to speak of his defects, or to represent actions which he has done innocently, in such a manner to another, as to create an unfavorable prejudice against him, and thereby block up his way for the free exercise of his gift. What mischief would be prevented, if the Divine exhortation was always complied with, under the clothing of a restoring spirit : ''If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone." Many surmises respecting actions and motives would prove unfounded, and the precious unity of the Spirit be preserved and strengthened. But through all my besetments and plungings, gracious Goodness was near, and manifested itself for my help ; and when the tempest beat high, at times the Master commanded a calm ; furnishing renewed ability to rise above all the swellings and raging of the enemy, and to put my trust in Him alone, who tenderly watcheth over his flock, and preserveth by day and by night. 16th. The goodness and mercy of our Heavenly Father are often manifested in visiting us with his love and life, even at times when we have not as faithfully kept his command as Ave should ; 68 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. giving us a share of the work in his vineyard, and thereby en- gaging lis to bow before Him in gratitude and humility. What cause have we reverently to acknowledge his long suffering and kindness toward us, in plucking our feet out of the miry clay, and setting them upon a Eoek that is higher than we, again establishing our goings, and j)utting a new song into our mouths, even praises to his great and everlastingly worthy name. I feel desirous to increase in dedication and obedience to Him ; so that everything that defiles may be escaped, and my heart be made and preserved a temple for his holiness to dwell in. 1822, Second month 3d. The Monthly Meeting having re- commended me to the care of the Quarterly Meeting of Minis- ters and Elders in the Eleventh month last, after holding the subject under its consideration, I was yesterday acknowledged a minister by that meeting, and acquainted with its conclusion this morning, by two Eriends, nominated for the purpose. !No station in the church will exempt us from temptation. Poverty has been my clothing, and the evil one has not been wanting in his presentations in order to draw the mind from the watch, and render it unfit for the reception of heavenly good. Third month 1st. The ministry of the Grospel is a deep and weighty work. Many baptisms and mortifications are often necessary, to prepare the creature to minister altogether from the gift, and unreservedly to attribute the praise and the power to Him from whom alone it is derived, and to whom it belongs. These dispensations are ungrateful to our natural feelings. Abas'ement and insufficiency in ourselves, manifested to the view of others, seem the opposite of that ability with which the creature delights to be furnished, and which the great Head of the church, at times, graciously affords, but for wise purposes, also sees proper to withhold in a great degree, even when a neces- sity is imposed to stand forth in the work. In such case it is difficult to see the right stepping stones; and if we do not abide under the cross, we may utter what He does not give ; which confuses the mind, exposes our impotence, and fails to profit the people. I think this was my own case, in some measure, about two weeks back. It had an humbling effect, producing convic- tion of my utter incapacity for the work, only as the Lord is pleased renewedly to endow with fresh qualification and matter for the service. Fourth month 21st. During the past week was held our JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 69 Yearly Meeting. On the previous seventh-day I attended that for ministers and elders, the first Select Meeting I have sat in. The answers to the queries would indicate a sound sub- stantial ministrj" among us ; hut it is sorrowful to believe that they do not all give a just view of its state. There is much passed off upon the people for Gospel ministry, which is no better than the divination of man, having its origin in his w411 and contrivance. Many are deceived with it, for want of having access themselves to that which is within the veil, and would give a true sense of what is, and what is not of the pure Truth. While the minds of people are outward, looking for words, and ministers are not careful steadfastly to keep in their tents, until the true Shepherd puts forth and goes before, but are seeking to gratify the itching ear and their own unruly tongues, we shall have a ministry of words ; which though amusing to the multitude and tickling the vanity of the preacher, will eventually land both in confusion and barrenness. Our beloved Friend, George Withy, from Frenchay, near Bristol, England, was with us, and faithfully bore testimony to the ancient foundation on which the Church of Christ is built, and to the doctrines of the everlasting Gospel; cautioning Friends against airy flights into the region of speculation ; and declaring that however some may soar, as among the stars, or build their nests as with the eagles, the Lord in his time would bring them down, and lay their honor, (if honor it might be called,) in the dust. It w^as now a time of peculiar trial, permitted to come upon us; but as Ave dwelt in the everlasting patience, the time would again come, when the Lord would take his work into his own hands, and it should again be said, "The' Lord's power is over all." We got through the business of the meeting for discipline in SI pretty satisfactory manner. In all the sittings a degree of weight and solemnity was felt, although in one a spirit of darkness got up, through the unadvised interference of a few, as well as the unsavory doctrine one of them held forth. Sev- eral important subjects were brought before the meeting. A committee, which had been appointed to visit the Quarterly and Monthly Meetings, made an explicit report of the state of things within our borders, exhibiting evidence of great declension from the life and powder we make profession of The propriety of endeavoring to advance our testimony against the distilla- 6 70 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. tion, trading in and retailing of spirituous liquors, was called i7ito view by a minute from Haddontield Quarterly Meeting, and the subject was recommended to the weighty attention of subordinate meetings, which were desired to report the result of their labors. Seventh, month 17th. Under an apprehension it would be proper for me to attend the meeting at the Twelfth Street house, last first-day morning, I went to it. It was a trial, but being desirous to be wherever it was my place, I gave up to the im- pression, though not without various thoughts how it might terminate. In the course of the meeting, there seemed to me much want of a real sensibility on the important object for which we had convened. The minds of some seemed outward, and destitute of that travail and exercise of spirit which must be maintained, in order to experience the arising of Divine life and virtue in themselves. As these thoughts and sensations continued with me much of the time, I believed it right to stand up, and as it might be opened before me, express the views we hold of the nature of Divine worship, and the requisite prepar- ation for its right performance. Thei'e was something of the openings of Divine life experienced ; but not kee^^ing sufficiently low, I got, as I apprehended afterward, a little from the gift, and expressed a sentence or two, w^hich though sound, yet wanted the savor of life ; and on sitting down I "svas apprehensive that very little baptising influence had accompanied my testimony. I was almost a stranger in the meeting, having but seldom attended it, and felt mortified and concerned lest I was instru- mental in ministering to a state of death, painful to those w^ho ai'e preserved alive in the Truth. On returning home and re- flecting upon what had passed, I gave way to the suggestions of the evil-one to such degree, that I became carried away with his insinuations. My pride was mortified wuth the belief, that those at meeting must have seen my inability for the work, and I concluded it was evident I was unfit for the ministry. Under jnuch distress, and fear lest I might be drawn from the true foundation, my secret petitions, through an interval of tender- 31CSS, were put up, that He who only could preserve from falling, would be round about, and still keep the swellings of tempta- tions from overpowering mc. I hope the instruction conveyed under this oecurrcncc will not be soon forgotten. The repeti- tion of such is very undesirable to the unmortificd pride of man, JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 71 and doubtless would be less frequent if we dwelt in the valley of humility, keeping a watch over that tendency in us to be exalted by the favors conferred ; not to feed our pride, but for the honor of his great Name who immediately bestows them, and for the advancement of his cause in the earth. About a week afterward I met a beloved elderly Friend, and told him of the distress I had passed through, from the ap- prehension that my appearance at their meeting was not accompanied with the savor of life, as gospel ministry ought to be. He was very tender of me, and gave me to understand that it had not given him any uneasiness. So I hoped that, in part, my distress had been produced through the butfetings of Satan. Ninth month 17th. In the course of the last five years, a few members of our religious Society in the Eastern States, having indulged a disposition to think themselves wise above what is written, fell into the practice of spiritualizing many parts of the Holy Scriptures which have a literal meaning. Differing from their Friends respecting some passages, and imagining they had attained to greater light and experience, they pretended that as every one had the light in himself, their supposed revelations were not to be submitted to the judgment of others, as any criterion of their correctness. Their preten- sions were plausible in the view of those who were unacquainted with the delusions of Satan, and as they could make long speeches with feigned words and high sounding sentiments, they deceived some into the opinion that they were to revive the ancient principles and spirituality of the Society ; from which, they averred, it had now lamentably degenerated. At first their real sentiments were much concealed ; but as they became exalted in their own conceit, and the childlike state, in which alone there is safety, was lost, they grew more bold, their errors more apparent, and they denounced the Society generally, as corrupt ; and some went so far as to pronounce individuals as cursed. They were labored with by their friends for their preservation and recovery, but to little effect ; they alleged that they could see the states of others, but such were their attainments, that others could not comprehend them. All kind of restraint was irksome. They pronounced the dis- cipline mere tradition, and useless to those who had a spiritual guide ; meetings of ministers and elders were compared to 72 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. synagogues of Satan, where the power and influence of mystery Bab3'lou were peculiarly exerted. Thus a disposition was openly manifested wholly to disregard the order of the Society, and to set at defiance the government and subordination which must be maintained, to preserve a religious body from anarchy and confusion. Several of those people having run out in principle, and in their unbecoming conduct, given great disturbance to some meetings, they were finally disowned. But the delusive spirit which actuated those persons, was not slain or banished from our borders. It is covertly at work in other Yearly Meetings, sowing the seeds of disorganization, and laboring to destroy the faith of the members in the fundamental doctrines of the gospel, as laid down in the New Testament, and professed and fully believed by our religious Society from its riee. And what adds to the mournful consideration, is, that many w^ho have been divinely visited, and in measure obedient to the visitation, do not believe this to be the case ; but are giving their strength to that spirit, which it is much to be feared has gained the ascendancy in some persons of influence in the Society. Efforts have been made to lay waste the faith of Friends, in the divinity and atonement of our Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Divine authority of the Holy Scriptures ; doubtless for the purpose of destroying them as a test of doctrines, and to make way for the introduction and more easy spread of infidel senti- ments. The qualifications and authority, which through long faithfulness to the Truth, have been given to some by the blessed Head of the church, for the care and edification of others, are by these unsound and disaffected members, consid- ered an arbitrary assumption of power. Although well ac- quainted with the leadings of the true Shepherd, if such experienced Friends unite in opposing the disorganizing at- tempts of the enemies of wholesome government and sound doctrine, they are considered as dangerous to the religious liberty of the members of the Society ; while their concern and labor are designed to guard it from licentiousness of principle and practice. It is a time of peculiar trial, in which it is truly needful for every sincere-hearted disciple to have his loins girded and light burning, waiting and watching for the coming of his Lord. Unless our hearts arc kept pure and faithful to Him, wo shall JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 73 not be prepared to meet Him at his coming; and it is only when He appears, that ability is received to advocate his cause availingly, and to exalt the Truth and its blessed testimonies, over all unruly spirits. Eleventh month 20th. Last first-day I attended Darbj^ Meet- ing. The advantages of a humble, dedicated state of mind, carefully leaning on the gentle openings of the Shepherd of Israel, were experienced, to my comfort and the renewal of faith in his goodness and all-sufficiency. Twelfth month 14th. Elias Hicks having been set at liberty by his Monthly and Quarterly Meetings, to visit parts of our Yearly Meeting, and to attend Baltimore Yearly Meeting, he arrived in Philadelj)hia the 7th of this month. The following testimony was drawn up by Joseph Whitall, a minister who was remarkably well versed in the doctrines of our religious Society, a« set forth by Robert Barclay, and other ancient Friends, and a most firm and steadfast believer in them : "Having attended the last Yearly Meeting at New York, I heard Elias Hicks declare, in a public testimony, in a large meeting in the North House, that "The same power that made Christ a Christian must make us Christians; and the same power that saved Him must save us." Being very uneasy with the doctrine, I took a private opportunity to state to him my uneasiness. I informed him that for several years, reports had been in circulation unfavorable towards him, and that on those oc- casions, I had vindicated his character, from a belief that he must have been misrepresented ; until last fall I met with a piece in writing, said to be from his pen, in which he called Christ the Jewish Messiah; that He was only the Saviour of the Jews; and that He was not the Son of God, till after the baptism by John, and the descent of the Holy Ghost. To this I offered my objections as unseriptural ; but he justified them. He also de- clared that he considered it a matter of the greatest encourage- ment to believe that Christ was no more than a man, for if he were anything more, it would destroy the effect of his example to him. He admitted that he had not, till of latter time, held up the doctrine that Christ was liable to foil like other men. When I quoted the testimony of John, that the Word was made flesh, (or took flesh,) he said it was impossible. I offered my 74 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. sentiment, that if he persisted in preaching these doctrines, so contrary to the Scriptures, and the testimony of our ancient Friends, it would produce one of the greatest scliisms that had ever happened. He allowed it would produce a schism, but that it would soon be over, for he believed his doctrine must and would prevail. Seeing that we diflered so widely in senti- ment on these points, I j)i'oposed to him to have a few solid Friends, ministers and elders, convened, that a discussion might be had ; but he would not consent thereto ; saying that he was 80 confirmed in his sentiments, that he should persevere there- in, let the consequences be what they might." Signed, Joseph Whitall. Philadelphia, Twelfth month 12th, 1822. On fifth-day, the 19th, E. Hicks attended Green Street Meet- ing ; said much that was very exceptionable, as it evidently tended to lower our Saviour to an equality with his servants, and also to lessen the authority of the Holy Scriptures. Twelfth month 26th. E. Hicks left the city yesterday morning. It seemed removing a weight of anxiety from our minds, and if his principles would vanish as easily, the relief would be still more complete. 1823, First month 5th. It is mournful to reflect ujion the jjresent state of our religious Society, in many places. While there is preserved a large body of substantial Friends, many others, deeply immersed in the love of the world, the desire of ease and outward greatness, and wanting in religious depth, are degenerated from that purity of heart, and well-founded zeal for the support of our principles and Christian testimonies, which so conspicuously appeared amongst our primitive Friends. Their principles and testimonies were dearer to them than all temporal accommodations, liberty, or life itself. Being pre- served in a state of living faith and devotion to Christ Jesus, their Lord and Master, they were made quick in discerning the approach of the enemy in his most insidious forms; and they kept their eye inward to the Lord. ThiT)ugh his baptizing power, they were united together in bearing a foithful protest affainst the devices of Satan and his agents, and were thus ren- dered instrumental in warning and preserving tlie flock from his desolating ravages, l^ut weakness and blindness have so overtaken many at this day, that they seem scarcely to know JOURNAL OF WILLIAiM EVANS. 75 their own religious principles, and not being circumcised in heart and ears, ai"e carried away with the sophistry of some, who through self-conceit and dependence upon their powers as men, have gone about disseminating their unsound views ; much to the grief of those yet preserved as a righteous seed, and greatly to the injury of the inexperienced in the work of regen- eration, and of the general welfare of the body at large. When we hear that sentiments degrading to the divinity of oui' Lord Jesus Christ, and the Divine authority of the Holy Scriptures, are not only openly delivered from our galleries, and their unsoundness unnoticed, but contended for as being real gospel ministry, even by ministers and elders, it may be said the signs of the times are awfully portentous. What the effects of these things may be, is not yet manifest, though, I believe, all such persons, with their anti-christian sentiments, will be laid low. It may be permitted, as a scourge, to go through the Society, in order to discover the foundations we are severally building upon, and who those are that prefer Jerusalem to their chief joy. Certainly, the devastations of this spirit, and its doctrines, will be great, and the sufferings of those who stand firm against it will be proportionally severe. But if we can be favored to keep our habitations in the immutable Truth, the storm will beat against us in vain, to destroy the faith ; and when the tribulation of those days is overpast, like Noah, re- leased from his confinement, we also, in a feeling of the abate- ment of the floods of trial and deep suffering, will be permitted to offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving and praise, from hearts contrited under a sense of the Lord's goodness and care over us. 76 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. CHAPTEE lY. 1823—1826. " Paul and Amicus " — Yearly Meeting — Philadelphia Quarterly Meeting — William Forster, Jr. — Richard Jordan — Visit to Washington about the Slave trade — Attends Baltimore Yearly Meeting — Fatherly Advice — Want of a United Travail by Ministers and Elders — Visit to Quarterly Meet- ings—Yearly Meeting — Extraordinary Case Kelated — Letter to his Brother Thomas — Attends Rhode Island Yearly Meeting — Canonicut — South Kingston — Testimony of his Mother — Second Marriage — Yearly Meeting — Cohcern Respecting the Spread of Unsound Doctrines by Ministers — Yearly Meeting — Attends New York Yearly Meeting. First month 17th. An adjourned Meeting for Sufferings was held to-day. A person with the signature of Paul, having, in the Christian Eepository, at Wilmington, Delaware, addressed the Society of Friends on some doctrinal points, was replied to by another, "Amicus," declaring himself to be a member of the Society. After the controversy had been continued more than a year, the dispute embraced the Trinity, Divinity of Christ, and the Atonement; and sentiments being advanced by Amicus, which some Friends believed to be derogatory to our faith, the subject was introduced to a late Meeting for Sufferings, para- graphs read, and a committee appointed to take the whole sub- ject into consideration, and to report what they might judge proper for the occasion. Their report was now produced, con- taining a clause, disavowing any knowledge of Amicus, &c. ; to be printed with those essaj^s, which we were informed are de- signed to be republished in pamphlet form. It also set forth our belief respecting the Holy Scriptures, our faith in God, and in our Lord Jesus Christ, his advent, sufferings, death, atone- ment and resui'rection, and ascension, chiefly taken from the writings of ancient Friends. They were agreed to ; the former to be sent to the Wilming- ton editor, and the latter to be printed in a pamphlet, and distributed through our Yearly Meeting. The excitement prevailing in our city, and in other places, occasioned by the visit of E. Hicks, produced feai's in some, of circulating anything of the kind at this time, and the Meeting not coming to any decision at its first sitting, adjourned till the afternoon. On sit- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EYANS, 77 ting down together again, the influence of external commotion seemed to have subsided, and Friends were enabled, under a covering of unusual solemnity, to unite in the foregoing con- clusions. Whatever may have been E. Hick's object in his visit to this city, the effects have been, discord and divisions among Friends. Old friendships have been dissolved, and new ones formed, ac- cording as persons have agreed or disagreed, respecting his pernicious opinions. Ministers opposed to them, are suspected to allude, in their ministry, to particular circumstances or in- dividuals, because of the closeness of its application, and their way is accordingly much shut up. Third month 16th. Feeling an impression upon my mind, I have attended all Friends' meetings for worship in the city, and through the condescending goodness of the Shepherd of Israel have in all of them been enabled to deliver what was opened to me, pretty much to my relief and satisfaction. In some it was trying, owing to the lowness of the stream, and perhaps, some opposition from the party spirit that prevails. This is at work to subvert the order and principles of the Society, and to gain an ascendency over those who desire to maintain them faith- fully, in the wisdom and authority of Truth. The sense of this, and that many, who in years past were preciously visited, with whom we had fellowship, have now become leavened with this sj)irit, and are giving their strength to it, is truly affecting, and occasions much mourning for them, and for the precious cause' sake. Fourth month 21st. This day commenced the sittings of our Yearly Meeting. After the reading of the minutes of the Meet- ing for Sufferings, a valuable, judicious Friend rose and said he felt more than a liberty to express his entire unity with the proceedings of that meeting, and he wished their encourage- ment. Immediately after him, a member said, that in regard to that "creed, or confession of faith," contained in the minutes, he thought it right to say, ''Who hath required this at your hands ?" This was the signal for opposition ; and those extracts from the writings of George Fox, E. Barclay, W. Penn, E. Cla- ridge, and W. Sewell, containing the most solemn and impor- tant truths of the Christian's faith, mostly expressed in Scrij^ture terms, were denounced by some wild, inexperienced persons, as inconsistent with reason, revelation, and the Holy Scriptures. 78 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. It broke out and spread, like a flame among light rubbish. Many unbecoming expressions were used, both in relation to the doctrine, and the Meeting for Sufl:erings. It soon appeared that much confusion was at hand, and the Meeting adjourned till 9 o'clock the next nioruing. Nearly three hours were then spent in discussing a proposition to expunge those extracts from the Meeting for Suiterings' minutes. Another person proposed that a committee be appointed to examine and report their judgment of thejiroceedingsof that meeting. A preacher residing in this city, joined with this, and further recommended they should be instructed to consider the constitution of that body. He thought a radical change was wanting; the members should hold the office for three years, and five be chosen out of each Quarterly Meeting. Another thought the two subjects should be kept distinct, and urged the expunging of the extracts, and postpon- ing the other to a future sitting. During this scene of confusion, and unexampled torrent of abuse, and invidious reflection upon the Meeting for Sufterings, the members of that meeting remained unmoved, and patiently bore the unbecoming conduct of man}', without making a single retort. The clerk was several times urged to make a minute directing the obnoxious record to be expunged, and one pro- posed that if he persisted in deferring to do it, that another Friend should be named to take his place. At length my father rose, and gave a concise statement of the institution of that Meeting, and its oj^erations. He mentioned that the publication of our religious principles had been re- peatedly made by it, in various ways, and denied the truth of those insinuations of design, on its part, to impose anything upon the Society ; that the extracts were drawn from Fox, Barclay, Penn and other books, repeatedly printed and owned by our Society, &c. His remarks appeared to have an efi'ect upon the meeting, and the clerk stated that he was the servant of the meeting, and had been endeavoring to discover what was the mind of the meeting, but from so many propositions and opposite opinions, he was unable to decide, and, therefore, would suggest that a minute be made, directing the Meeting for Sufferings not to publish the Extracts. This was acceded to by some of the leading opponents; but others more violent openly rejected it, and seemed detei-mincd to be satisfied with nothing short of an obliteration. The clerk's proposal, however, at JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 79 length prevailed ; but some remarked, that allowing it to re- main upon the minutes, was acknowledging the doctrine by the Yeai'ly Meeting. This circumstance w^as altogether a new kind of exercise to some of us, but it was cause of gratitude, to be favoi-ed with calmness and entire freedom from all irritation. Indeed, it seemed like being preserved from the strife of tongues, and hid in the secret of the tabernacle of the Most High. The remain- ing sittings of the meeting were generally more satisfactory ; though often- attended by a painful feeling of the presence of false brethren. Our dear friend, William Forster, Jr., from Eng- land, in the closing sitting, was engaged in fervent supplica- tion for the extendiugs of Divine regard towards the Lord's tribulated children ; and the meeting closed soon after, under a covering of most solemn and impressive silence, which pro- duced in my heart the involuntary acknowledgment, we are unworthy of this. Fifth month 3d, Was held our Quarterly Meeting of Minis- ters and Elders. In the deliberations, a spirit was manifest, that would overturn the order of the Society, crying out over- bearance, and want of condescension, in those who felt bound to support it. The feelings produced by the spread of this spirit are becoming more painful, and as it gains strength, the love and life of Truth are departing from such. Many are robbed of their true strength, and they know it not ; but are so deluded as to believe they are engaged in the work of reformation ; while alas! blindness and insensibility have lamentably overtaken them. 5th. The Quarterly Meeting for Discipline got through the little business which came before it with general harmony ; our friend, William Forster, Jr., having much accej)table and appro- priate service amongst us. 7th. Feeling much sympathy with our beloved friend, Wil- liam Forster, Jr., in the trying path in which he is led amongst us, and his waj'' being increasingly discouraging. I was inclined to meet him at Crop well, and spend a day or two in his company; as he was about leaving the city, with the prospect of being absent many months. Accordingly, in company with our worthy friend, Eichard Jordan, I attended that meeting; in which they were both engaged in public labor. In the after- noon we rode to Moorestown, and were at the Monthly Meeting there next day. W illiam was much opened into the state of the 80 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. Meeting, and upon several important doctrinal points. After he had taken his seat, my mind having been introduced into desire for the preservation of the few still left, who were given to suffer for the name of their dear Lord and Master, I believed it right to endeavor to encourage them to stand upon the watch, that no man might deprive them of their crown ; and that in his own time He would give the victory over our enemies, even if it be through suffering. E. Jordan followed, and in a forcible manner labored to show the condescension of the Redeemer, and the danger those were in, who were crucifying Him afresh, counting the blood of the covenant an unholy thing, and doing despite to the Spirit of Grrace. I believe we all left the meet- ing with heavy hearts, from the fear that many had been be- guiled, and were in jeopardy of becoming bewildered in the mazes of uncertain speculation, by following their own un- n3.ortified wills, instead of living under the daily operation of the cross of Christ. In the afternoon we rode to Josiah Eeeve's, at Upper Eves- ham, where we passed an agreeable evening. W. Forster, Jr., set out next morning for Bass Eiver, and we returned home. 18th. This morning beitig first-day, I went over to Newtown Meeting, accompanied by my brother Thomas. Pretty early in the meeting Eichard Jordan rose, and after some introduc- tory matter, opened the subject of man's creation ; the purity in which he stood; the law given for his preservation and his Maker's glory; the penalty attached to the transgression of that law, and the consequences affecting himself and his pos- terity. By sin he lost the Divine life, wherein he held sweet «ommunion wnth his Maker; but the Son of God offered himself a ransom for fallen man, to be manifested in due time, and pro- cured for him the oppoi'tunity, and the means to enable him to work out his salvation. As in Adam all died, so in and by Christ, shall all be made alive; that is, all who arc obedient to the requi rings of his Holy Spirit, shall be renewed up into the image of God, and made alive unto Him. The Apostle testified, "Ye arc not your own, ye arc boiight with a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." If Adam's natural life alone had been spared, ho remarked, he would still have remained in a state of separation from God; as he possessed no power whereby he could restore himself to that Divine spiritual life which he lost by transgression ; and, there- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 81 fore, the means through which his restoration to the Divine communion was to be eifected, must also Rave been provided, agreeable to the declaration, "He that spared not his own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with him freely give us all things." "And because ye are sons, Grod hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father." My mind was brought under exercise, in feeling the life- lesness and barrenness which predominate among many there ; produced by frequent disobedience, and despising the many favors which a long suffering Grod, had from time to time, extend- ed to them, immediately and instrumentally. The language was brought to view, " You only have I known of all the families of the earth, and therefore I will punish you." I was enabled to discharge myself pretty fully. E. Jordan appeared in suppli- cation, and I hope some profitable impression was made. 23d. Having been appointed, with several other members of the Meeting for Sufferings, to obtain information respecting the foreign trade in the natives of Africa, two of us set off this day at noon for Washington, and ai'rived there in about twenty-four hours. By the open, frank attentions of the Secretary of the Navy, and several of his clerks, we had access to the public documents upon the subject, and made such transcripts as we thought would be interesting and useful, to show the present state of that horrible traffic ; and returned home in about a week. Sixth month 22d. Feeling a draft in my mind, I attended the meetings in the city, and the Monthly Meeting of Frankford. Some humiliating feelings were passed through, which tended to diminish self-dependence ; but through all, I had reason to be- lieve that the good Hand was still extended, even towards a re- bellious gainsaying people, to gather them to the teachings of Christ in themselves ; that thereby they might have spiritual food in their own houses, and water in their own cisterns. Tenth month 15th. Having a concern to attend the meetings in this city, I went accordingly to them all, and whatever effect may have been produced upon others, I derived some instruc- tion in the exercise of the gift of Gospel ■ ministry. In the first meeting, the matter opened before me, as I thought, too slowly to be accompanied with the evidence that it was of Divine origin, which I desired. Sometimes I was ready to fear I should stop and close in confusion. But as I endeavored to 82 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. be composed and stead}^ in my mind, the openings continued, until I believed my duty was discharged. I felt calm and peace- ful. The strait into which I had been brought, remained with me several days, and had a useful effect ; and to the close of this service, I was more and more favored with the Master's help, and no doubt, it tended to enable me to bear these favors, with- out being puffed up with them, as poor, weak mortals are too apt to be. It also increased my dependence upon, and confidence in the Divine openings of the gift; by which I was enabled to speak more deliberately, and to avoid alarm when matter did not flow as fast as I wished, or the sense of power was not as strong as I desired. We have great cause to put our trust in the great Shepherd of the sheep, who is altogether sufficient for his own work, and will take care of it and of us too, as we faithfully follow and rely upon Ilitn. He will not only put us forth, but go before, quali- fying as He shall see meet, for the work whereunto He hath called us, gradually enlarging the gift, and instructing us in the right use and improvement of it. On the 13th I attended Had- donfield Monthly Meeting, where we had the company of Micajah Collins. It was to some of us a serious time, and we hoped an awakening one to some there. Eleventh month 6th. Having attended the Yearly Meeting of Baltimore, with a minute of unity of the Monthly Meeting, I returned home some days since. Being the first religious visit with a minute, I felt more than usual on the occasion ; desiring I might bo preserved from everything, either in meeting or out among Friends, that would injure anyone, or the cause in which I professed to be engaged. A reserved deportment is an unwel- come restraint to young people, whose minds are not under the tendering visitations of Heavenly good: and it is a trial to ap- prehend that our company produces this kind of feeling in them. But although cheerfulness, rightly tempered, is at times, pro- perly the innocent clothing of the devoted mind, yet there are seasons when we are called to mourning, and the tongue seems as if it would cleave to the roof of the mouth. 8ul)ject8 for conversation vanish, and we sit as objects of wonder or ridi- cule. This is mortifying to the pride of our nature; but it is nevertheless useful to ourselves, and may be also to some whoso conditions we are not full}- aware of It is not a pleasant thing JOrRXAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 83 to be a savour of death unto any, and unless our sufficiency for these things is derived from above, we may turn aside into what is not convenient for ourselves or others. To maintain a steady exercise of spirit, contributes to preserve our own strength ; and maj^ minister a savor of life to some whose souls are secretly bowed, when their exterior would not indicate such a state. I think the Meeting was generally favored • with the over- shadowings of Divine good; by which the faithful were enabled in good measure to keep down wrong things, and the meeting preserved in a solid frame. It was not a time for rejoicing, as it felt as if the poAver of Truth rose very little higher than to keep unsettled spirits in subjection; while some were clothed with a sense that a disposition secretly prevailed to change laws, and customs, and principles heretofore owned and estab- lished l)y the great Head himself. Indeed, it seemed that un- less He who rules with a rod of iron, and dashes in pieces, as a potter's vessel, whenever He sees fit, should manifest himself in a remarkable manner, for limiting the raging Avaves of the sea of unbelief, our Society will be overspread in this country, from north to south and from east to west, with the desolating ravages of that spirit, which is adulterated from the innocent life, and seeks to draw from the fiiith and simplicity of the gospel of Christ, into a dependence upon and conformity .with the fallen wisdom of man. Its baits and snares are many, generally concealed under the guise of greater spirituality, and freedom from all entanglement by doctrine and church order and government. It is very confident of its own, and ever ready to condemn or lightly esteem the service of others, who see into its devices and testify against them. When about leaving home, my beloved father wrote me a note on something he wished attended to, to which he sub- joined the following useful hints: "Attending a Yearly Meet- ing exposes to much company ; and watchfulness against a great deal of conversation seems peculiarly needful, lest Aveakness through that channel be introduced into the mind ; and in meetings I have found it most conduciA'C to a right getting on, to keep my mind as much as possible to an inward exercise. In this state, thou wilt experience a qualification to discoA^er the openings or shuttings of the Divine hand, and only to move when He puts forth; and when He giA'cs ability, make use of it in simplicity and faithfulness, not regarding or forecasting 84 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. what this or that one may say or think ; for it is the Lord's power alone, that is the authority of all our meetings for wor- ship and discipline." 14th. In company with my brother Thomas, I attended the (Quarterly Meeting at Salem, on the 12th and 13th. A deep united travail amongst ministers and elders, both in their select meetings and those for worship and discipline, that we might experience the baptism of the One Spirit, by wdiich alone we are baptized into one body, and enabled to drink together into the same Spirit, is much needed among us. Too many are great strangers to it, and appear scarcely to understand what it means. Oh ! the need there is for us individually, to strive to keep near to the Master out of meetings, that we may become ac- quainted with his voice, and witness his preserving power, to keep us clean from the various defilements which arise frdm an alliance with the spirit of the world; then we should be better l^repared to come together in a lively state of mind, to engage in the work the Lord would assign to us. It is only as we apply to our holy Head for his help and instruction, that we can grow in grace and the knowledge of the Son of God. All speculations on this knowledge are totally incompetent to fur- nish one glimpse of his transcendant glory, or to remove doubts with which the unregenerate soul is surrounded. These truths were held up to view, under a little renewed ability, derived from his exhaustless treasury, though accompanied with feel- ings that there were impediments to the free arising of the power of Truth into dominion. 1824, Second month 2d. In our Quarterly Meeting we had the company of our friends, William Forster, Jr., and John Justice of Bucks County. It was attended with painful feel- ings, from the prevalency of a disorganizing spirit, covertly at work, to unsettle the unwary, and to strengthen those who are enemies to the cross of Christ, and consequently to good order and sound judgment in the church. Sensible that the Divine life and power of Truth were oppressed, the honest-hearted were bowed in spirit, and kept in a state of silent waiting and suf- fering. One of the unsettlfd membei'S said, the knowledge of the Scriptures putfed up ; they made hireling ministers, and had done more hurt than good in our Society ; and he was not easy to apply the word holy to them : this was a plain indication of the evil spirit of unbelief at work among these people. JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. ^ 85 The power of Truth appeared to gain but little ascendency, yet these disturbers were so kept down, that the meeting passed over without any material difficulty, except the painful sensa- tions produced by those remarks. 15th. On the 7th, I left home for Springfield, attended that iiieeting, and on the 9th proceeded to Concord, and was at their Select Quarterly Meeting. The unsoundness of some elders was plainly alluded to, and the great loss arising there- froTu to persons in the station of ministers, especially the young and inexperienced. How is it possible for elders to judge and to decide rightly of the soundness of ministers, when they them- selves have departed from the Christian faith, and gone into uncertain speculation, and a worldly spirit ? In the forepart of the meeting next day, I had something to say, by way of ministry ; but being under some fear of going beyond the commission, I was afterwards apprehensive I took my seat too earl}''. It was in backwardness, I attempted to speak in so large a meeting ; but I derived some instruction on the necessity of faithfully doing our duty, without improperly giving way to the fear of man. Yet even in this, I believe there may be a snare ; as some who say they are not to fear or regard men in their religious duty, run out into great activity, to the burthen of the church, and thereby dissipate what little tenderness and godly fear they were once favored with. I stayed the meeting for worship held at Concord, the follow- ing day, the 11th, in which William Forster, Jr., had close, searching service ; fifth-day was with him at Birmingham, and went thence in the afternoon to my brother's. The review, upon the whole, afforded peace. Third month 10th. Having for some weeks had my mind turned towards Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting, I gave up to go this morning, after thinking I was released from it ; having no will to go or stay distinct from doing the Divine will. Al- though nothing remarkable occurred in either meeting, I was well satisfied on my return, that I was led thither. The unme- rited mercy of the Shepherd of Israel, in still continuing his goodness and favors to us, however undeserving, was felt and held forth ; but He might be so slighted by frequent disobedience, as to withdraw his kindness, and the gifts which He had be- stowed for the good of individuals, and of the Society at large, and for the glory^ and renown of his great Name. There was- 7 86 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. some exercise felt in the meeting for discipline, for the preser- vation of that which was ready to die, and for restoring the waste places in the walls of Zion. But the want of a more general living concern ami united travail, makes it laborious work, and the little apprehended benetit is discouraging; yet I hope those who prefer Jerusalem above their chief joy, will hold fast their confidence in the Lord's power and goodness ; be- lieving He will yet make the courts of Zion to flourish, and give them to see the desire of their souls, and be satisfied. Fourth month 17th. The Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders commenced this day. Some Friends had acceptaljle sei*- vice, tending to enforce the practice of inward, reverent waiting in our religious meetings ; which will contribute more to gather the people than the mere expression of words. The replies to the Queries, exhibited a low state of the inferior Meetings of Ministers and Elders, as regards unity and blameless conduct aniongst men, in some places. On first-day morning, the 18th, Isaac Stevenson, from Eng- land, who was present at Pine Street Meeting, bore a clear and unequivocal testimony to the divinity of Chi'ist, and the eflicacy of his propitiatory sacrifice; that it is through much tribula- tion the righteous enter the kingdom ; but there are seasons in which they are permitted to have a foretaste of the joys which shall be hereafter revealed; that as the glory of the lat- ter house was to transcend that of the former, the humlile, faith- ful traveller at times experiences the glory of the Lord revealed in his soul, to his unspeakable consolation. On second-day, the 19th, we began the business of the Yearly Meeting; when the reading of the usual epistolary correspond- ence brought a solemnity over the meeting ; renewing the evi- dence that unity still subsists between the various parts of our widely extended Society. The sittings on Third-day were gene- rally occupied in hearing the reports and considering the state of the subordinate meetings, as set forth in the replies to the Queries ; during which much was said to edification. Fourth- dav morning, the Select Meeting concluded its sessions. A pro- position from the Southern (Quarterly Meeting, which is located in the State of Delaware, where slavery exists, that a rule of discipline should be made against Friends hiring slaves for the profit of the owners, was referred to acommitlee; and at a future sitting, a rule was adopted, authorizing Monthly Meet- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 87 ings to diso^vn those members who could not be persuaded to desist from the practice. A woman Friend* who came into our meeting in the afternoon was extensively engaged in sj)eaking to those members who had partaken, or were in danger of eating, of the fruit of the tree of unbelief. She related the case of a young man of very sujjei-ior talents and advantages, who spent much time to ascertain and decide upon the religious principles he should adopt; when be- fore he was aware, he had so imbibed the spirit of unbelief, that he became darkened and bewildered to that degree, his mind could settle upon no fixed principles. He adopted the infidel opinion that we are not bound to believe what we cannot com- prehend ; and then rejected the plain testimony of the Holy Scriptures, to the sacred, mysterous truths of the gospel of sal- vation, by our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. It pleased the Lord to lay him upon a bed of languishing ; he lingered long, and finding himself destitute of all foundation for the hojie of future happiness in the world to come, his state of mind became awful. Ardently desirous of some evidence upon which he could rest his hope of salvation, and yet utterly incapable of believing the unutterable truths he had so long accustomed himself to doubt or call in question, he was led at last fervently to pray, that the Lord would be pleased to grant him some as- surance of their reality. After a long season of bitter conflict, his prayer was heard; his mind was furnished with a degree of the true fiiith, which is of the operation of the Spirit of God in the heart ; which had once been tendered by it, and long since lost. Now he could receive the doctrines of the Scriptures, which had been to him as sealed with seven seals; and at his desire, they were frequently read to him, with some other religious books, I think she said, sometimes in the middle of the night. He became like a weaned child ; all dependence upon reason, or any other power of his own, was utterly renounced, and as a new-born babe, he now received, with meekness, the engrafted Word, which is able to save the soul ; rejoicing in the means which a gracious Creator has provided, as helps in the way and work of salvation, through fiiith in our Lord Jesus Christ. The false position which the young man had unwisely adopt- ed, was controverted at large ; and Individuals in the meeting were feelingly and fervently labored with, to guard them against an evil heart of unbelief, and to convince them of the dangerous * Elizabeth Eobson. 88 JOURNAL OF AVILLIAM EVANS. consequence of attempting to weaken the testimony of the Holy Scriptures, and thus destroy the faith of others, in the doctrines of life and salvation by Jesus Christ. The remaining business of the Yearly Meeting was satisfac- torily disposed of in three sittings, closing on sixth-day even- ing. There was much cause for humble acknowledgment to the Grod and Father of all our sure mercies, for the signal and con- tinued extension of his Divine regard to us, throughout the sit- tings of this meeting ; clothing the minds of many with a solid, steady travail, for the welfare and stability of the church; and granting the evidence of his power and authority presiding over and amongst us. It seemed to confound the wisdom of the carnally wise, and to bring to naught all the plans which had been devised against the peace, order and government which have so long prevailed in our religious Society. I trust it will prove as food that shall be found again after many days; and as a stay to some who have been too easily tossed to and fro by the windy doctrines of men. Fifth month .3d. Our Quarterly Meeting for Ministers and Elders was held. In the meeting for business, E. Jordan was acceptably engaged, bearing a full and clear testimony to our blessed Saviour, both as to his Godhead and manhood. 23d. Within the last two weeks, I felt a concern to attend all the meetings in the city, and though considerable discour- agement was in the way, I gave up to the prospect, and was enabled to get through to tolerable satisfaction. A greater flow of strength and matter was afforded at some times than at others, and when the stream seemed low, it tended to humble and keep me low with it. The work under such dispensations, is more mortifying, though not the less salutary to the preacher as well as hearer, provided we are steadily kept under Divine guidance. I hope it was the case in a good degree, and I at least derived some instruction in the course of the visit, in which there seemed to be some enlargement of the gift. My brother Thomas being absent, in comjjany with Isaac Stevenson, on his religious visit to this country, in one of the letters which passed between us, was the following para- graph, which I wish to preserve; as it contains an exercise I have sometimes felt for the preservation of my brothers and sisters, and our right improvement of the talents and favors that have been dispensed to us : JOURNAL OF "WILLIAM EVANS. 89 " I have been often led to reflect upon the many favors which have been conferred upon our family by a merciful and benefi- cent Creator. Although temporal riches have not fallen to our trust, yet a plentiful supply of the necessaries and com- forts of life has been within our reach ; and while these have been thus bestowed for our own accommodation, we have also possessed the means to fulfil the duties of social life, and to contribute to meliorate the distressed condition of others. But above all these, are to be acknowledged the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Our parents being visited in early life by the Day- Spring from on high, and with sincerity of heart faithfully yield- ing to these visitations, were entrusted with precious gifts ; not only designed for their blessing, but fitting them for exemplary usefulness in the church of Christ. Through their faithfulness in bearing the cross, and sufl'ering with the despised followers of the Lamb, they have obtained an honorable station in the church ; ruled well in their own family, and by their example and precepts, have placed a weight of religious obligation uj)on ns, their children. Where much is given much will be required. He who has thus signally favored us with such valuable parents, as well as with spiritual gifts, will look for fruits in their season ; and if we are not found in the footsteps of Christ's companions, no natural connections, nor descent from virtuous parents, will remedy the defect, or be admitted as an excuse. It will be use- less to imagine that the faithfulness of dedicated parents, will preserve us from the evils that abound in the world, or shield us for neglect of the means put into our hands, from the just and awful inquisition for the use we have made of our Lord's goods. I often feel desirous we may lay these things deeply to heart ; that being convinced of the indispensable necessity of dedicating ourselves wholly to the Lord's service ; and under the sense of our continued need of Divine preservation, we may in humility and reverence, implore Him from day to day, for fresh supplies of his Holy Spirit, to enable us to follow Him in the regeneration, and to fill with propriety whatever station He may design for us in his church. Being thoroughly washed and purged from every defilement, we should thus become living, experimental witnesses of the eflScacy of his Grace ; and pre- pared in truth to declare to others, what our eyes had seen and our hands had handled of the good Word of life. May we then, my dear brother, not seeking to adorn ourselves in any manner 90 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. with what has been dispensed for our stewardship, but in true humility of heart, seek the Lord's honor above everything else ; and then He will continue the blessing which rested upon the head of Joseph, unto the utmost bound of the everlasting hills." Sixth month 19th. At our last Monthly Meeting, I obtained a minute of its concurrence to attend the Yearly Meeting to be held in Rhode Island, and a few meetings in the neighborhood of ^Newport. On several accounts, the Yearly Meeting was a very exercising time. In that for worship, held on first-day, some disaffected persons interrupted the solemnity, with their unsavory and unauthorized communications. The reports indi- cated that love and unity, and the attendance of public worship, were at a low ebb in some places. Considerable counsel was extended by our friends William Forster, Jr., and Isaac Steven- son, of England, and others; which appeared to be acceptable to many Friends, and in which I had some little share. But the want of feeling and clear discernment on the part of some others, was very affecting ; which with observations made by some per- sons, made several sittings, seasons of painful exercise and mourning. Friends are very generally opposed to the wild pre- tensions of these visionary, ranting spirits, and seem resolved to maintain the discipline and order of the Society over their heads. Many have suffered deeply by them, and I hope with a good degree of patience. Friends were encouraged to stand firm, and to treat with offenders in the restoring spirit of meek- ness ; waiting upon the Ilead of the Church, to feel their own incapacity for the work ; that in the spirit of prayer and suppli- cation, they might apply to Him for Divine aid to labor success- fully for the help of their brethren ; and thereby raise a testimony in the hearts of the rebellious, that their restoration to the foot- steps of the flock, was the primary object of their concern. Tlie business was finished on fifth-day evening, and after such occasions of suftcriug, it aftbrded comfort to be favored with a peaceful satisfactory close ; our dear friend, William Forster, Jr., being engaged in fervent supplication for the different classes ; that we might be concerned to fill up faithfully the various measures of assigned duty; experiencing strength and preservation in our different allotments, however distantly separated from each other. Friends manifested much kindness, particularly our much valued and attentive hostess, Abigail JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 91 Eobiuson, at whose house, my brother Joseph Ehoads and my- self, were very agreeably accommodated. Having a meeting aj^pointed on Canonicut Island, whei-e a few Friends reside, we went over on sixth-day morning, and at- tended it. Being the first I had held of that description, it was felt to be a serious matter for me; but believing the only ground on which we can safely move, is that of simple obedience, I was pi-eserved in calmness and dedication to the Lord's will ; wherein I was enabled to discharge myself of what appeared to be opened for the people; and as I was a child in the work, He who knows how to lead forth his children, dealt with me according to my capacity; neither trusting me with great things, nor fail- ing to afford the consolation of peaceful tranquility throughout the day. The Friends there appeared to be satisfied. We attended the Western Meeting at South Kingston on first- day ; the Monthly 3Ieeting at Tower Hill on second-day, and on third and fourth-days, had appointed meetings at Eichmond and Hopkinton. The last was a favored time, in which the love and life of the Gospel were felt, and flowed freely towai'ds the people; it was quite unexpected to me to be thus favored in the close, but it seemed to be granted as an encouragement to future dedication to the Master's will. The people were much ten- dered, and an elderly man, who I supposed, was not a member, said it was the doctrine he had believed for forty years. Ninth month 5th. My dear mother having been much con- fined Avith sickness during the last seven months, so far re- covered, as to be able to attend our meeting a few times in the past four weeks. This morning she was engaged to declare that our Lord Jesus Christ, is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, by whom alone our salvation is to be effected. She said "She was never before so fully prepared to bear testimony to the excellency, .the wisdom, and the blessedness of the Gospel plan : that Christ was the way, she was bold to declare, and that it was a precious thing to have faith in Him." Speaking of the hope of the truo believer, she observed, that at a time when she apprehended herself on the confines of the grave, " I said, what a blessed hope ! and any other hope of salvation than by and through the mediation of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, will prove like the hope of the hypocrite, that shall perish When brought to such a crisis as this, having experienced our own wills, lusts and affections, reduced by the opei^ationof his grace — that grace 92 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. which came by Jesus Christ — and nailed to the cross, in some little degree compai'able to his bod^'' being nailed to the out- ward cross, in which we might say, if this cup. may not pass from me, not my will l)ut thine be done, then are we prepared to acknowledge that it is not by anything we have done, but all of the mercy of Grod ; not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy He saveth us ; by the washing of regeneration, and the renewing of the Holy Ghost." Such a testimony to the Gospel of salvation ; and the entire uselessness of man's righteousness, which he performs in his own time and strength, delivered by one who seemed to be raised from the dead, I thought was worth preserving. It shows the continued goodness of the Heavenly .Parent, in authorizing his servants to publish the glad tidings of peace through his well beloved Son, even to a rebellious and gainsaying people, whether they hear or forbear. After the decease of my dear wife, I continued unmarried be- tween nine and ten yeai's; during which I passed through many dispensations, designed, I trust, to promote my growth in the work of salvation, and prepare me for the service to which the Lord would call me in his church. At one time when my mind was under deep plunges, and with little sense of the Lord's presence and supporting power, our friend_, Elizabeth Eobson, came to our meeting at Pine street ; and as I sat under such feelings stripped of all good, I said in my heart, if she would rise and utter the expressions of our blessed Saviour to Peter, it would be a convincing confirmation that I was not entirely forsaken. Soon after the thought had passed through my mind, she rose and began with these words, " Simon behold, Satan hath desired to have you that he may sift _you as wheat, but I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not." It was very striking to me, and tendered my spirit, reviving my faith and dissipating those fears with which I had been assailed. It seemed an evi- dence of the reality of the communion of exercised spirits, still continued in the church of Christ. My thoughts having been drawn towards my beloved friend Elizabeth Barton, a minister, daughter of John and Eebecca Barton, with a vicAV of proposing our marriage, the prospect of entering again into the marriage covenant, was not less serious than in the former union ; and brought me into strong desire to do nothing but what was according to the Lord's JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 93 will ; often looking to Him for evidence of the propriety of such a movement j which I believe was also her sincere con- cern. My dear friend having a religious draft to attend Baltimore Yearly Meeting, she was accompanied to it, in the Tenth month, by our valued Friends, Josiah and Elizabeth Eeeve, who were like parents in the Truth to both of us. The Lord equipped and anointed her for the work she was engaged in, much to the satisfaction of Friends there, and to her beloved companions. Our marriage was accomplished after her return from this visit, at jSTewlown, IS". J., on the twenty-third day of the Twelfth month, 1824 ; at which time we were favored with a solid satisfactory meeting, under a sense of the owning presence of our blessed Lord and Master. 1825, Fourth month 18th. Our Yearly Meeting began on this day. The epistles from the different Yearly Meetings were read, to the comfort and strength of the meeting. A proposal that "All important appointments should be made for a limited time," was introduced to the Yearly Meeting by the report of one of the Quarterly Meetings. It was a favorite scheme with the followers of Elias Hicks. The oppo- sition made to his principles by the Elders of Philadelphia, having been the beginning of ditficulty to him in spreading his unsound notions, by rousing up many in the Society to examine and to reject them, as subversive of the fundamental doctrines of Christianity, and the peace and discipline of our Society, he had expressed at different times, his repugnance to Meetings of Ministers and Elders, and the Meeting for Sufferings ; saying they were blocks in his way and must be removed. Consider- able discussion followed the opening of it to the meeting. The friends of Elias Hicks labored hard to induce the meeting to take hold of the proposition; but after much time spent on it, a minute was made, that way did not open to take any such step. It was very obvious that the design of introducing this subject, was to pave the way for the formation of such a Meeting for Sufferings, as would publish and spread these antichristian sen- timents ; and to remove all elders who had or should discounten- ance E. Hicks, and other ministers who held his opinions. Ministers who preached the doctrines of the New Testament, would be subjected to the same treatment. The plea that such 94 JOURNAL OF WII-LIAM EVANS. had "become burdensome," iidvuiieed b}- one of them during the discussion, and, in their estimation, had lost their giits, would be sufficient to remove them. Unsound principles might thus be propagated with impunity, and Ubertinism and ranter- ism would, in pl.aces, overrun the Society. Thus the beautiful and excellent order, which the Head of the church has insti- tuted in our Eeligious Society, and the hedge erected as a de- fence upon the glory, might be destroj'ed ; and the members become a prey to the wild schemes and imaginations of eveiy ambitious pretender to superior light. Much concern Avas felt by many Friends, respecting this Yearly Meeting. Although we were not favored at all times, with such a covering of solemnity as we might desire, those restless people, notwithstandingtheir exertions to support their own plans. Avere entirely defeated; they did not gain a single point; and Friends rejoiced in a sense of the preservation still extended to us in this large annual assembly, by our hol}^ Head and High Priest. Fifth month 25th. At our Monthly Meeting, held this day, a Friend opened a concern with wdiich his mind had been long impressed, respecting the spreading of unsound principles amongst the members, by various means. He thought it his place to open the subject, that we might consider Avhether it was the dutj' of the meeting to adopt any measures to guard the members against their pernicious tendency. Sevei'al spoke in favor of something being done to wai-n the members of the dangerous opinions. Nothing, however, was agreed to be done at present; yet the opening and spreading of the subject before the meeting, showed that Friends were alive to the dangerous tendency of the sentiments of E. Hicks, and it will gradually prepare for decisive measures in due time. Eighth month 1st. Our Quarterly Meeting was a time of debate, on the case of a substantial elder whom thcCJroen Street Meeting had attempted to displace, under the plea that he was out of the unity, on account of bis joining with the sound elders among us, in declaring their disunity with Elias Hicks. Some triefl to dismiss the case from the notice of the (Quarterly Meet- ing, but not succeeding, it was referred to the next meeting. Tenth month 25th. T attended the Northern District Month- ly Meeting, where we had the company of Elizabeth llobson. JOLUXAL UF WILLIAM KVAXS. 95 from England. Jler labors iu the fir&t moclin^L,', an. I in ihu men's Monthly Meeting, I thought were well adapk-.l. 26th. E. liobson was with us at our Monthly Meeting verv satislactorily, and appeared to have a just seu.so ol' the ^tai.> of man}-. 1826, First month 25th. Having had my iniml drawn ui Uii- ferent times to visit the meetings iu the counlry, beluiiging lo our Quarterly Meeting, I mentioned it to the Monthly Meeting; informing that as Radnor Monthly Meeting was within a eon- venient distance, I had attended the meetings euniimsing it, except one ; but although the discipline gave me liberty, 1 did not feel easy to visit the others, without the consent of the Monthly Meeting; being little known among them as a minis- ter. The experienced and weighty part expressed their unity, and approbation of granting me a minute. But those dissatis- fied members objected to a minute being given, yet some were willing I should go without one ; and persisting in their oppo- sition, it was not minuted, and I informed Friends that I should not be easy to attend to the concern without its concurrence, expressed in writing ; the prosecution of it will, of course, be de- ferred. Suffering for well-doing will be of use to those who rightly endure it, in a true Christian spirit. I desire to be fav- ored with this, and to manifest the fruits of it towards others, even my inconsiderate opponents. Second month 6th. Being convinced that the principles of infidelity have taken root in some members of our religious Society, and that it is much to be attributed to an unauthorized ministry, as the subject rested with weight upon my mind, I was induced to open it in our Select Quarterly Meeting, on the 4th, I expressed my fears that there were those among us, who, with or without design, were giving encouragement to the growth of these principles. The practice of dwelling particu- iarly on passages of Holy Scripture, which relate to the man- hood of the Lord Jesus, and in clipping others, in which his Divinity is set forth, tended to inculcate those sentiments of unbelief, and settle the young people in a disposition to slight some of the fundamental principles of Christianity. They were quick in discerning those departures, which have an injurious tendency. I had been told by one person that he did not see how the sufferings and death of Christ could affect his salvatiom This wasone evidence of the effect of these unsound opinions; and 96 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. it was also said, "We are not bound to believe what we cannot understand." While some were holding up the doctrine of, Christ in us the hope of glory, which is a true, sound, gospel doctrine, they were detracting from the high and holy character of the Lord Jesus ; in striving to weaken or destroy the faith of the people in his sufferings in the prepared body, as of no avail in the salvation of mankind. Friends were warned against this desolating spirit; that however some might be soaring above others, and drawing persons to them, the time would come when all would be brought down, as into the valley of Jehosophat ; where the Lord would plead with all flesh, and show some the awfiilness of endeavoring to lessen and detract from the charac- ter and offices of our Lord Jesus Christ. Fourth month 15th. This morning the Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders commenced. Eichard Jordan bore testi- mony to the Divine origin and excellency of the Holy Scrip- tures. He expressed his thankfulness that Divine Goodness had influenced his prophets, and messengers and apostles to record the creation of the visible world, and his dealings with man from the beginning. That the outward creation was analo- gous to the spiritual ; so that even the apostle declared that it displayed the invisible power of the Creator; and the experi- ences of the righteous corroborated each other; and under the Divine influence, they owned the testimonies of the Holy Spirit which had gone before. He repeated the first verse of the Epistle to the Hebrews, and particulai'ly dwelt on the value of the record, that God had, in the last days, spoken unto us by his Son, whom He had appointed heir of all things. Elizabeth liobson followed him in testimony to the promise of the Messiah, at the fall of Adam ; renewal of that promise to Abraham ; the prophecy of it by Jacob resj)ecting Judah; and the more minute descrijition of the character of the Redeemer by the succeeding prophets. She showed the fulfilment of those prophecies in Jesus Christ; his rejection and contemptuous treatment by the Jews, and their final assent to his crucifixion. That He thus bore our sins, as the great propitiatory sacrifice, w^ithout the gates of Jerusalem; and that it was the gospel commission to the apostles, and to every true minister of Christ down to this day, that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. She closed her communication with expressions of great symjiathy Avith a JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 97 tried remnant among us, and the firm belief that these, as they kept on the immutable foundation, would be jjreserved ; that a poor despised remnant would be raised up in our Society, who should stand for the honor of the great Name ; and that to these the Lord would be for a crown of glory and a diadem of beauty. 16th. This morning, first-day, we had the company of our friend, E. Eobson, at our meeting. She bore a plain testimony to the Redeemer and Saviour of men ; and expressed her sense of those present, who were endeavoring to fence themselves in a confidence in themselves, and were resisting the knockings of Christ, to gain an entrance in their hearts; and she pressed the necessity of yielding thereto, as time was fast spending, and it was a gift to be accounted for. John Parker followed in a short, lively testimony ; and she concluded the meeting with solemn and affecting supplication, both for those who were thus hard- ening themselves against the reproofs of the Spirit of Christ, and for those who counted nothing too dear to part with for his name's sake. 17th. Soon after the opening of the Yearly Meeting, Eichard Jordan spoke on the different sounds there are in the world ; and whether of pipe or harp, it was necessary we should have our spiritual senses exercised to distinguish between them. If the trumpet gave an uncertain sound, who would prepare himself for the battle ? He showed the difference between the first and second Adam ; the first was of the earth, earthy; the second the Loi'd from heaven ; the first was made a living soul, the second was the quickening Spirit. It was by the latter, the soul was made alive, and without it, it would be in a state of spiritual death. He bore testimony to the blessedness of having the Holy Scriptures ; and mentioned the expressions of Peter, respecting Paul's writings, which, he said, the ignorant and unlearned wrested, as they did the other Scriptures, That man, by all his powers, was unable to comprehend spiritual things. He must be renewedly quick- ened, taught in the school of Christ; or in his ignorance going about to unravel the mysteries of the Gospel, he would involve himself in perplexity. This was the sentiment of the Society, in the beginning. They set out with no new mystery, but owned the doctrines of the Gospel, as they were promulgated by our Lord and his apostles, &c. 18th. This morning the attention of the meeting was princi- 98 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. pally occupied with the subject of the slave trade ; and besides a minute expressive of the unity of the meeting with the pro- ceedings of the Meeting for Sufferings, pi-epared yesterday and read this morning, it was agreed the clerk should prepare an- other, descriptive of the concern of the Yearly Meeting, as evinced this morning; and referring to the particular care of the Meeting for Sufferings, the subject of the slave trade, foreign and domestic. The Queries were taken up in the afternoon, and proceeded in as far as the fourth and fifth. Feeling mj^ own mind brought under some religious concern, I observed that I believed there was no religious Society, that had a more just estimate of the character and value of the Scriptures than the vSociety of Friends. That although we did not call them the Word of God, because that title belonged to our Lord Jesus Christ, yet we believed that holy men of God wrote and spoke them as they were moved by the Holy Ghost; and the more we were under the influence and government of that Grace and Truth, which came and comes by Jesus Christ, the more we should value them. I stated, as an evidence of the high estimate set upon them by our Society, that we had a rule of discipline, that any one denying the Divine authority of the Hol}^ Scriptures, was subject to disownment, if he could not be brought to acknowledge his error. By the Query which we had just heard, this meeting indirectly advises its members to be in the practice of frequently reading them. This, I stated, was conclusive proof that Friends set a high value upon them; and warned some against calling them a dead letter, having no life in them. The more we were under the influence of Divine life in ourselves, the more comfort and strength we should find in reading them. To these the experiences of the holy ancients were peculiarly valuable. They are profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and instruction in righteousness, that the fnan of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works; being able to make wise unto salvation, through faith which is in Chi-ist Jesus. In proportion to the various means dispensed in inscrutable wisdom and unmerited mercy, for our aid in the work of salvation through the Holy Spirit, would be our responsibility; and at some period, an awful ac- count must be rendered for the use of them. The meeting was very rpiiet tuid attentive; and a Friend fol- JOURNAL OF AVILLIAM EVANS. 99 loAved and confirmed what I had said as correct; and added, that the Society had alwaj^s held them as a test of their doctrines, and expected Friends to be in the practice of frequently reading them in their families. 21st. The remaining business was attended to on the 19th, 20th, and this da}^. Upon the whole, the meeting was pre- served in much quiet throughout its sittings; but notwithstand- ing we had cause to believe that Divine mercy was roundabout; still keeping us from anarchy and confusion ; there was a con- stant 25ainful sense of a dark spirit, secretly at work in many, that was waiting and watching to lay waste the heritage. This was like a heavy load upon the upright, sincerely devoted ser- vants of Christ, and seemed to hinder the power of Divine life from rising into that dominion which we have sometimes known it to do. 28th. In our Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, held this morning, much pertinent advice and encouragement were communicated. Elders were particularly exhorted to faithfulness in the discharge of their duties towards ministers ; and sympathy with such as had faithfully kept their ground against wrong things, and had heavy burdens to bear, was freely expressed. Fifth month 1st. We have had the most solid Quarterly Meeting this day, that has been held here in the last eighteen months. Elizabeth Robson came into the men's meeting, and had very weighty and pertinent service. She mentioned the instance of David going to see his brethren, that he might know how they fared, and how the battle went; and when his motive was questioned, he asked, "Is there not a cause?" He did not go forth in Saul's armor, but chose smooth stones out of the brook ; and with a simple sling smote the giant, and cut off his head with his own sword, and a great deliverance w' as wrought for Israel, through the faithfulness of a single individual. Not- withstanding the king's decree, Daniel failed not to offer his prayers three times a day, with his windows open, as he had been wont to do ; and thus bore a public and faithful testimony of his allegiance to the true God. She said it was time for some who have too much secluded themselves, to show on whose side they are. The mouths of the lions were stopped, and an acknow- ledgment extorted from the king, by whose decree he had been put into the den, that Daniel's God was the living God, and 100 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. able to deliver those who trust in Ilim. When the three chil- dren were cast into the furnace, which was heated seven times hotter than it was wont to be heated, they walked in the midst of it unhurt, because the Son of God was with them ; and not even the smell of fire was perceptible on their garments. But those who cast them in were slain by the fire. This she a^^plied, in a striking manner, to those who were endeavoring to destroy the true seed. She then appeared in very solemn supplication, much to the comfort and strength of many Friends. Sixth month 8th. On the 26th of last month, I left home to attend New York Yearly Meeting, with a minute of the Southern District Monthly Meeting. It was throughout a try'- ing occasion; a spirit of opposition in many to sound Friends, and to some of the principles of the Christian religion, as held by the Society from its rise, was a constant burden upon the rightly exercised members. This was increased from time to time, by opinions of a disorganizing tendency, which were avowed by some, who seemed determined to destroy all regard to doctrines and principles, as wholly unimportant ; and to dis- solve the bands of Society, by denying the accountability of the members, for the opinions which they held and expressed. Ah it might be expected, persons of little or no religious weight and feeling, manifested no restraint, in taking an undue part in the discussions of the meeting, and were very ready and impor- tunate to have their views adoj)ted. A solid judgment, conclu- ded under the solemnizing presence of the IIcHd of the church, was rarely witnessed throughout the meeting. The original ground on which the decisions of the Society heretofore stood — a prevailing conviction that the Truth led into the measure — ap- peared to be lost sight of by many ; and a majority of voices regarded as the governing authority ; without any discrimina- tion of age, experience, soundness of judgment, or clearness of discerning. JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 101 CHAPTER Y. 1826—1833. Progress and Effects of Unsound Opinions — Death of R. Jordan — Charge against E. Hicks forwarded by Southern District Monthly Meeting — Yearly Meeting of 1827 — Separation from the Society of Friends — Incidents in some of the Meetings — Abington Quarter — Conference held at Mount Pleasant — Ohio Yearly Meeting of 1828 — Visit to North Carolina — North Carolina Yearly Meeting — Visits within Philadelphia Yearly Meeting — Visit within New England Yearly Meeting. 1826, Eighth month 20th. The state of things among us in rapidly assuming a very dark and gloomy cast. Unless a blast is brought upon this disorganizing spirit, it would seem that great devastation will be made in the Society. Our meetings for Divine worship are, at times, almost destitute of the sensible presence of our holy Head and High Priest, which tenders and humbles the minds of Friends, and qualities for the performance of that solemn duty. The streams of gospel ministry are neai-ly stopped, and the ministers are clothed with mourning, at the great change. But we are not "without faith and hope, that the Lord is secretly at work, to make w^ay for his truth and powder, to rise again into dominion ; when He will confound this exalted Sf)irit, and bring some of those who are troubling Israel, down as into the valley of Jehoshaphat, where He will plead w4th them in a very awful manner. Great will be their confusion at that day ; and many, I believe, will look back with astonishment at the delusion with which they and others have been overtaken. Ninth month 16th. On the 13th, in company wath my wife, I attended Haddonfield Select Quarterly Meeting. It was a low, distressing time. The benumbing effects of the love of the world upon very many, makes our assemblies seasons of laborious, discouraging exercise ; in which apprehensions corae over the mind, that we are in danger of having the candlestick removed out of its place, and becoming a forsaken people. These sensations w^ere experienced in both meetings. At the Meeting for Sufferings held yesterday, several minutes of new appointments by different Quarterly Meetings were re- ceived. One fi'om the Southern Quarter stated, that a commit- 8 102 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. tee had been appointed to consider the revision of tlicir representation in this Meeting; and re])orted, as their sense, that it wouhl be proper to release all their representatives, ex- cepting one. As the case was new, several Friends expressed doubts of the propriety of such a measure : frequent changes in the appointment might be followed by injurious consequences ; and to make it, involved a principle which the Yearly Meeting only could settle; and it was proposed to appoint a committee on the subject. A few Friends were accordingly verbally ap- pointed to attend to it. Eleventh month. On the 14th of last month, our belov- ed and honored friend, Eichard Jordan, was released from the trials attendant upon this earthly scene, after a sickness of about eight weeks. Without much apparent suflTcring, the worn-out system gave way to the force of disease, and the spirit that longed to depart and be with Christ, his Saviour and Re- deemer, was permitted to take its flight to those blissful regions, ''Where the wicked cease from troubling and the weary are at rest." He gave ample testimony, in his illness, of the firmness of his faith in Christ; through whose grace and merits, he said, he hoped for salvation. This was the faith he had lived in, and the faith he should die in. Great quiet and solemnity prevailed at the time of his burial ; and after the interment. Friends convening in the meeting- house, a very satisfactory meeting was held ; in which our dear friend, Ann Jones of England, bore testimony to the faithful- ness of the deceased, in discharging his duties to the righteous and the unrighteous, as one who must give account of the souls committed to his care; saying, she believed he had received the crown of an apostle. lie was a very judicious, nursing father to inexperienced, de- voted children ; equally carefid to guard them against ]n-ema- ture fruit, as well as to hand suitable encouragement in due season, when they were read}^ to sink. On the 4th of this month, was held our Quarterly JNfeeting of Ministers and Elders, which was in the main a comfortable meeting. Our friends, G. and A. Jones, of England, and E. Robson, who had just returned from Baltimore Yearly Meeting, were with us, and had acceptable service. On the 6th, the Quarterly Meeting was held; it was unusually laro-e many young men being present who showed llui r interest JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 103 in the preservation of order, and the principles of the Society, by supporting the elder Friends in such measures as they be- lieved it right to adopt, for the maintenance of the discipline. The Quarterly Meeting of Bucks was held at Middletovvn, on the 29th and 30th of this month, which I attended, and was glad to have the opportunity for the company of our friends, George and Ann Jones. Several other Friends were there from neighboring meetings. On sixth-day morning we took breakfast at Sarah Comfort's, whose valuable husband had lately deceased. We then pro- ceeded to Byberry, and attended a meeting there, appointed by Gr. and A. Jones. The latter was there led in a way much in op- position to those who cry peace, when there is none. Death had come up into their houses; and those who had been teaching the children rebellion, would, she believed, experience the sad con- sequences of it in their own families. Near the close of the meeting, I spoke on the aAvful and resj)onsible situation of those who were promoting a disbelief in Jesus Christ as the Saviour of men ; that the etfects of the spirit of unbelief were to be seen and felt. All restraint would be much removed; and it was evidently the case with the young people in that part of the country. It lay as a burden upon me, which I was unwilling to bring aw^ay with me. Twelfth month. Being one of the Committee having charge of the Boarding School at Westtown, I left the city on the 9th of this month, on an appointment to visit the schools, and was absent till the 13th. At the adjournment of our Monthly Meeting of this month, my father called the attention of Friends to the disorder at a late meeting, attended by Elias Hicks, and the unsound princi- ples advanced in it by him ; and after some opposition to it, made b}^ seven of his adherents, the meeting made a minute, stating that the disorder which occurred in this house on the 11th, and those unsound principles and sentiments therein ad- vanced by E. Hicks, being weightily brought into view, five per- sons were appointed to investigate the subject and report thereon. 1827, First month 24th. The above committee produced to the Monthly Meeting a full report; in which they exhibit some of the prominent features of the disorder, and the very excep- tionable doctrines delivered by E. Hicks; closing with the ex- pression of their concern on account of the propagation of such 104 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. poisonous sentiments ; and also that some of his adherents may be snatched as brands from the burning. A copy of this report was directed to be forwarded to Jericho Monthly Meet- ing, of which E. Hicks is a member; with which women Friends concurred. Second month 3d. To-day we have had a very exercising Select Quarterly Meeting. In the forepart, a comfortable evi- dence was felt, that condescending mercy and goodness were round about us ; strengthening the faith of the Lord's children in his Divine power, and affording the consoling conviction, that He will defend and preserve his church, as its confidence is main- tained in Him alone, and in due time will scatter his enemies, and grant a peaceful release from the trials with which it is now assailed. On reading the answers to the second query, my father hinted, at the difficulty of admitting the correctness of the reply to it from one of the Prepai'ative Meetings, which asserted the sound- ness of its ministry; but of the reverse of which we had had sufficient evidence. In his remarks, he adverted to attempts now made to spread the belief that Jesus Christ our Saviour was no more than a man, or one of us. A member of the meeting al- luded to replied to him, as if he felt the allusion applied to him- self; and in his remarks, stated there was but one Saviour, and that was God; and making allusions to declarations of George Fox and William Penn, attempted to infer that those who preached " Chi'ist crucified," as the Saviour, were they who made the Saviour a mere man. He declared that Christ was sent to the Jews only ; that He was an external Saviour. He was no Trini- tarian, nor Satisfactionist; by which it was understood he did not receive the Scripture doctrine of the Three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word and the Holy Spii'it; nor believe in the propitiatory offering of the Lord Jesus, by which we have remission of sins, and perfect sanctification, through rc- ])cntaiice and obedience to his Holy Spirit. 5th. Some opposition was made in the Quarterly Meeting for discipline, to the summary answers to the third Query; which contained expi-essions of belief, that pernicious publications sup- porting unsound doctrine, were tolerated amongst some, to the grief and concern of many Friends; but the meeting retained it, to go up to the Yearly Meeting. The Committee appointed to visit the Monthly Meetings ro- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 105 ported attention to the service, and that they had evidence the appointment originated in best wisdom. Several of the dis- attected strove to get the committee discliarged, but the meet- ing continued it. One of the Green Street elders proposed that a committee should be aj)i:)ointed to consult with that meeting, so that they might be joined to Abington Quarter. This was one of the pre- liminary steps to the breaking up of our Quarterly and Monthly Meetings, and the division of the Yearly Meeting. No notice was taken of it. 10th. This afternoon I drove George and Ann Jones, with C. "W. Morris, to my brother-in-law's, Joseph Rhoads. Next day, first-day, we attended Springfield Meeting, and being met there by Charles Allen, he accompanied them to Abraham Sharp- less' in the afternoon. 12th. My wife and myself went to Concord, and attend- ed the Select Quarterly Meeting there ; a distressing time ; in which it was evident to me, that some were desirous of persuading themselves, that not as much disunity and un- soundness of principle had crept in, as some others im- agined. There is great want of a lively zeal in some, and an honest faithful discharge of duty, against the insidious approaches of the spirit of unbelief; which is watching to ensnare the unwary, and will commit great ravages in the flock, unless the watchmen who are placed upon the walls, are awake to the surrounding dangers, and timely give the alarm. 13th. In the course of reading the queries and answers in the Meeting for Discipline, I believed it proper to call the atten- tion of Friends to the contrast between the answers to the second and third queries— the former very full and the latter much the reverse. That while much love and unity were pro- fessed, it was plain great deficiency existed in the education of children. I adverted to the advice of the Yearly Meeting to jDarents, to practise their children in the frequent reading of the Holy Scriptures, and to instruct them in the doctrines of the Christian religion, which they inculcate: viz., the miraculous conception, birth, holy life, sufferings, meritorious death, glori- ous resurrection, ascension and mediation of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ; as well as in the belief of the immediate influences of the Holy Spirit. But there were pamphlets in 106 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. circulation amongst us, which tended to lay waste a belief in many of these Christian doctrines; one of which, was issued within the precincts of that Quarter; which I considered one of the most pernicious books in circulation; tending to destroy all reverence for our Lord Jesus Christ, who suffered without the gates of Jerusalem, as the Saviour of men ; to destroy the authenticity and authority of the Iloly Scriptures; and to spread the seeds of infidelity ; and I believed it my duty to bear a testimony against it. Fourth month 14th. Our Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders convened this morning ; in which we had the very ac- ceptable company of our beloved friends George and Ann Jones and E. Eobson. On reading the summary reply to the second query, and the judgment of the Quarterly Meeting by which it was sent up, that an unsound ministr}^ existed within its bor- ders, some of the disaffected members, earnestly contended that it should be expunged ; but the proposition was rejected, and the answer retained. William Jackson opened his views, and queried whether there was nothing further for the meeting to do ; expressing his belief that it should go further, either by epistolary advice, or by appointing a committee to visit the con- stituent meetings, to afford them help. After a time of deliber- ation, it was concluded to appoint a committee, which was done. IGth. The morning meeting for business was passed with little interruption. E. Eobson paid us a very acceptable visit. The representatives convening at the rise of the meeting, one of them proposed that John Comly should be reported for clerk; another that Samuel Bettle should be reported to be continued. One wished a Friend might come to the table and draw up a minute reporting John Comly, which, such as united with him, might sign. This was rejected. He then proposed that such as united with him should withdraw to another part of the house, and prepare a report; which he endeavored to effect by leaving his seat and walking towards the aisle; a few rose to follow, but others protesting against it, they took their seats again.' Finding that they could not adopt any one to name to the meeting, the representatives pi'etty generally agreed, to authorize John Cox to inform the meeting they could not unite to report any name. We were detained until the meeting convened in the afternoon, and J. Cox made that report accordingly. Some JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 107 asserted that they had not conehidcd on any report, and were to meet again next morning. Others had heard nothing of such adjournment ; and it being evident we could not unite, it was eventually concluded to reappoint the old clerks, after much opposition by the followers of E. Hicks. J. Comly came to the table as assistant, with great reluctance; and the minutes of the Meeting for Sufferings were read, with very little remark by way of objection, to their proceedings ; their care on the sub- ject of slavery was ajDprobated. 17th, Early after the meeting opened, John Comly rose and remarked, that he had come to the table in condescension to the request of a few Friends ; that this Yearly Meeting was divided into two distinct parties, which were irreconcilable, and unity was destroyed. We had a query whether love and unity were preserved -among us. He thought it was needful to have it restored, and therefore proposed that the meeting should be adjourned. The query is also asked. When differences arise are endeavors used to end them ? He thought if there were men of peace amongst us, it would be well for them, in the meantime, to exert themselves in removing those differences. He could not conscientiously act as the organ of such a body ; and there- fore, if the meeting decided not to adjourn, he wished to be per- mitted to withdraw from the table. This opened the way for his party to express themselves upon the state of the Society ; and some were accordingly prepared to dissolve the meeting. Sound Friends generally kept still, with the exception of a few, who thought the proceedings need not be delayed any time for want of J. Comly's services. When he discovered he could not effect his purpose of breaking up the meeting, he wished Friends to mind that he had not said dissolve, but adjourn; and as he had apprehended many Friends did not unite with his appointment, if it was now^ the general sense that he should re- main at the table, he would accordingly serve : thus he waived his conscientious scruples, though no increase of unity had been obtained. The usual concerns of the Yearly Meeting were transacted, and towards its close, information was sent in from women Friends, that they had before them a concern to appoint a com- mittee, if united with by men Friends, to visit the Monthly and Quarterly Meetings. Opposition was started by the disaffect- ed, as it would, in some measure, interfere with them ; but 108 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. Avheii the mcctini; was informed of their conferences and plans to create a separation, it stopped them. Friends more fully saw the need of sending down help to strengthen the hands of sound Friends, and aid in supporting their meetings. A com- mittee was accordingly appointed of l)oth sexes. The Yearly Meeting adjourned to meet at the usual time next year, if con- sistent with the Divine will. Fifth month 5th. Our Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders Avas held, and attended by the Committee appointed by the late Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders. In reading the replies to the Queries, some pretty close remarks were made upon that to the second, from one of the Preparative Meet- ings; and Friends there were encouraged to extend faithful, private labor. After finishing the Queries, E. Robson adverted to the poverty and weakness into which the Lord's children were introduced, and this was preparator}^ to being employed in his service ; that out of wa^akness, they might be made strong, and that his strength might be made perfect in their weakness. She believed some would have to partake of bitter cups; and might bo ready to conclude, at times, there was no way for them to get on ; but as they held fast their trust in the Lord, and were courageous, the hills would flow down at his jDresence. 7th. We had a very quiet, satisfactory Quarterly Meeting. ]S"o report from Green Street being produced, one of their mem- l)ers appointed to inform the meeting of their disjunction from Philadelphia Quarter, laid a minute on the clerk's table. The committee appointed to visit the Monthly Meetings, made a detailed report of their proceedings. Some members of rxreen Street, addressed the Quarterly Meeting, stating their disunity with the acts of that meeting, and received the sym- pathy and encouragement of Friends, to abide steadfast, in a faithful adherence to the leadings of the Holy Spirit; that they may witness preservation, and advance in religious qualifica- tion to support the principles and discipline of our religious Society. The whole of the business was conducted with much unanimity and quiet; so that it was evident the abstraction of the Green Street members, of a certain description, can-it'd with them the noise and confusion which have agitated and distressed our (Quarterly Mecliiig. JOURNAL OK WILLIAM FA'ANS. 109 20th. On second-day, the 14th, I attended Haddonfield Monthly Meeting, which ended comfortably. 22d. I attended the Northern District Monthly Meeting. The minute of the Quarterly Meeting, stating it had concluded to lay down Gfreen Street Monthly Meeting, and attach the members to this, was produced, and taken on record ; and a committee appointed to deliberate upon the steps proper to bo pursued in relation thereto. 23d. A private meeting having been held in a school-house, within the Southern District, made up of some of its members and others, to devise means to obtain possession of part of the property of the Monthly Meeting, they prepared a paper on the subject ; and before going into our Monthly Meeting this morn- ing, some Friends were informed that it would be presented, and that the disaffected members had decided, that if it was rejected, to divide off to the other side of the m-eeting-room, and there hold a Monthly Meeting themselves. Many of our mem- bers, who had not been seen for years at our Monthly Meeting, assembled; and some from the country, and also some from other Meetings in the city; doubtless with design to swell their numbers in appearance, in case of the proposed division. After a passing on account of marriage, and reading some certificates, W. W. arose, and expressed his thankfulness whenever the meeting was covered with solemnity ; and his unwillingness to do anything that would disturb it ; but he believed, that in the disposition that breathed glory to God and good-will to men, we might discuss subjects, and not be excited. He had one to propose, and though it was rather new, he hoped it would not produce such effect. He then mentioned, that some of them believed it proper to propose, that' a division of the property should be made ; so as to enable them to build a meeting-house; purchase the site, and provide the necessary accommodations. A paper had been prepared, w^hich, he said, was signed by forty- five members, and approved by several others, who were not yet prepared to sign it; he would hand it to the clerk. The paper was referred to six Friends, to examine and report to a future meeting. After this Monthly Meeting, it was ascertained that fourteen of our members had applied to Byberry Monthly Meeting, to be received as its members ; which was acceded to ; and that they appointed a committee of men and women to attend the 110 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. opening of a meeting for worsliip in this city. This act of Bj- berry Monthly Meeting, is a viohition of the discipline, and of the just right of the Southern District Monthly Meeting over its members. It is an invasion of the limits and jurisdiction of Philadelphia Quarterly Meeting, and of its Monthly Meetings, to attempt thus to institute a meeting within the borders of any of those meetings. Sixth month 4th. This separating party held their Meeting of Conference, appointed in the Fourth month last. They is- sued an address to the Quarterly and Monthly Meetings, within the compass of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting ; the design of which is to induce a separation from it, and to prevail with the Quarterly Meetings, to send deputies to an assemblage en the third second-day of the Tenth month next. It contains several unfounded accusations against the late Yearly Meeting. 2l8t. At our Meeting for Sufferings, held at this time, the present state of our religious Society w^as brought into view by one of its members. He adverted to the meeting which the Hicksites had held, and some of the measures adopted to pro- duce a separation from the Society, and draw its members after them. After some time of deliberation on the affecting subject, a pretty large committee was appointed upon it, and the meeting adjouinied for one month; very few of the Hicksites attended. Seventh month. At the Meeting for Sufferings, held in this month, an epistle was adopted, addressed to the members of our Yearly Meeting. The Committee on the present state of the Society was continued. Eio-hth month. A part of the members of Abington Quar- ter, separating from Pliiladcl]ihia Yearly Meeting, by appoint- ing a number of their party to attend, as their representatives, a meeting to be held in the Tenth month, under the name of Philadel))hia Yearly Meeting, the sound members decided to remain together, in order to hold Abington (^uai-ter as a branch of the Yearly Meeting of Friends; and a number of men and women Friends, as I undei'stood, accordingly stopped, but as it was late, they adjourned to the succeeding moi-ning. AVhen Friends met at the house, they found the doors secured, and a collection of persons on the ground, determined tliey should not enter the house. Some of the elderly and infirm women wore furnished with cushions to sit on the ground, JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. Ill while the rest stood, and remained about an hour. Ann Jones knelt on the ground, in supplication, supporting herself by a tree. Finding there was no probability of gaining entrance to the house, they drew up a statement of the circumstance ; to be recorded on the minutes, and adjourned, to meet at once, in Charles Shoemaker's mill. About one hundred men and one hun- dred and seventy-five women Friends convened in the mill. The}- appointed clerks for the day, made a detailed record of the dis- orderly proceedings of the Separatists, at Abington Quarterly Meeting; and appointed various committees to carry into effect concerns which engaged their attention. It was said to be a very affecting and tendering opportunity, much to the comfort and strength of Friends. In the Tenth month, the Separatists ^^eld what they termed Philadelphia Yearly Meeting, at the Green Street house; and concluded to hold it next year, on the second second-day in the Fourth month ; which would be in the week preceding the Yearly Meeting of Friends. Before our Yearly Meeting com- menced, the Meeting for Sufferings believed it right to prepare a statement of the separation; the gradual progress of the Separatists, in some of our meetings, to obtain the ascendency; and the unsound doctrines preached and printed by some of them; which latter were contrasted with the doctrines of Friends on these points. This was united with, to be laid be- fore our Yearly Meeting of 1828, for its judgment; and if approved, to be signed by the clerk on its behalf When read in the Yearly Meeting, our aged friend, William Jackson, ex- pressed his thankfulness that there were those raised up and qualified to prepare such a document ; and it received the unity of the meeting, and was afterwards printed and largely distri- \ buted cimong Friends. The Yearly Meeting of Ohio, held in the autumn of 1827, having made a proposition to the other Yearly Meetings in this country, to appoint delegates, in order to hold a Conference on the state of our religious Society, our Yearly Meeting, held this spring, appointed a number of Friends to represent it in that body. I went in a carriage with our friends Thomas Stew- ardson and Samuel Bettle, and my father, to Mt. Pleasant, Ohio, to attend this Conference ; where we put up at the house of our beloved friend, Jonathan Taylor. Eepresentatives from all the other Yearly Meetings, except New York, were also in attend- 112 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. ance ; and in the course of the week, a Conference was held ; but all the Yearly Meetings not being represented, nothing de- finite was concluded upon. Opportunity was, however, given for an interchange of sentiments, and to judge of each other's views in relation to such a convention, and what might be its probable influence on the Society. The first sitting of the Ohio Yearly Meeting of 1828, was a very disturbed one. Friends adjourned to assemble next morning, at the usual hour. The Separatists met earlier, and took possession of the house, keeping Friends in the yard, where they held a meeting, standing. After a suitable time, they adjourned to the old house at Short Creek, rather less than half a mile distant. The weather being warm, the Bash were taken out 0/ some of the windows, and temporary seats were placed at each end, to accommodate the men and women Avho could not get into the house. The meeting was prolonged into the next week ; a time being fixed for the Con- ference to meet in Philadelphia, next year. As soon as we could leave, our company took carriage and returned to our homes. In 1829, representatives of all the Yearly Meetings of Friends in America, convened in Philadelphia, and drew up a document, on the doctrines and testimonies of Friends; which they de- nominated, " The Testimony of Friends in America." In the year 1830, Philadelphia Yearly Meeting declined repeating the appointment of delegates. Time has clearly showed that this decision was a right one. In the year 1829, and in the First month of 1830, I obtained minutes from the Monthly Meeting, and paid religious visits to the meetings of Haddonfield, Concord and the "Western Quarters ; which I accomplished to my own satisfaction. On the 27(li of Tenth month 1830, I obtained a certificate to attend North C^arolina Yearly Meeting, and a few meetings be- longing to it, having Henry Cope as comjianion. We proceeded to Baltimore, and on sixth-day morning took steamboat for Nor- folk, where we arrived early on seventh-day. The blacks about the town, who, we were told, were mostly slaves, appeared cheerful. There was, however, a schooner lying in the stream, crowded with those poor creatures, intended for the New Or- leans market, to which they arc exported from Virginia as an article of trade. It was an affecting spectacle, which would have aroused the commiseralion of-fobn Woolinan and Anthony JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 113 Benczet to a great degree. Such is their degrailuated to JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS, 147 hear words, that they may depend too much upon them ; and then the mouths of ministers may he closed ; to show the neces- sity of every one kiboring for himself, and maintaining a con- stant dependence upon the Minister of the Sanctuary. I felt low through the afternoon, thinking that the fault might be in myself, and that I may not have kept sufficiently humble, under the favors which have been conferred on us in this visit. I looked at the feelings of my mind, on requesting the notice of the meeting to be given, and remembered that they were then clear and settled ; and could not now charge myself with wil- fully omitting to speak in the meeting. Hoping that it might be in the Divine ordering, I settled down under the desire to bear whatever might be my place, and to endeavor to profit by the various changes which our Holy Leader may see proper. We had a little opportunity with the family where we dined ; in which the children were much tendered. They were invited to take up the cross and follow their Lord and Master ; who would strengthen them, as they yielded to Him, to deny them- selves of whatever He called them to give up. Attended Fer- risburg Meeting on first-day morning. Here we had a laborious time ; under a sense that very few were engaged to labor for themselves, depending on what they may hear from others ; yet there are a number who appear sincerely desirous to know the Truth, and to live under its direction. In conversation with a man who had travelled but little, and who was not a little contracted in his views of others, I w^as led to the reflection, that where people are delving in the earth all their lives, and paying scarcely any attention to the improve- ment and enlargement of their minds, they possess little qualifi- cation to judge of others. They try everything by their own standard, which is formed according to the limited sphere they move in ; and for want of knowing, either by intercourse with others, or reading, the great variety of habits which prevails among people equally pious, they often censure what differs from their customs; and conclude that those who so differ are influenced by pride. This is especially obvious, where the heart has not been softened by the Spirit of the Eedeemer, and brought to see its own deformity, and thence clothed with Divine charity. True religion effects wonderful changes in us ; while it clothes us with proper love and allowance for others, it erects a standard, founded uj)on the purity and simplicity of the 148 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. gospel of Christ ; and neither condemns for those distinctions, which arise from mere difference of education ; nor admits of those varieties which spring from and foster jiride in the human heart, and are inconsistent with the Truth. The abolition of slavery is a subject which engrosses much thought and conversation in these parts; and it appeared to me, that Friends are drawn into coalition with others in their mea- sures to effect this object, more than is best for them. Ever since we cleared our hands of slavery. Friends have advocated the freedom of the blacks on pinnciple; but if we enter into alliances with others, we may find before we expect it, that some measures will be proposed, which will violate other principles that we hold equally dear; or in their operation, land us in circumstances which will not admit of our union with others, if we retain the character of consistent Friends. I believe we had better pursue our own course, under the direction of Divine Wisdom, in pro- moting the spread of the Eedeemer's kingdom ; and by lives of strict conformity to his benign precepts, we should be lights to others ; and offer the most effectual stimulus to them, to go and do likewise. Each denomination would be likely to act accord- ing to the light it possesses, and they would mutually stimulate one another to zeal and diligence. On the following morning, we attended a meeting appointed for us at the Creek, formerly South Starksborough. The sub- ject of living and walking in the Truth, by which we partake of the greatest blessing in this life, was opened; and the means placed within the reach of all, explained, as laid down in the Scripture doctrine ; that the true Light enlighteneth every man that Cometh into the world. And "This is the condemnation, that light is come into the world; and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every (me that docth evil, hateth the light; neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made mani- fest that tliey are wrought in God." I was led to show that this Divine light convicted us of sin, and brought condemna- tion and shame upon us for it; that, if received in its visitations, it gives strength to resist temptation, and to come out of our evil practices, and enlist under the government of Christ. But by resisting its convictions, and the offers of love and mercy, the heart becomes more and more hardened ; and at last might JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 149 reach that condition in which we may deny that these convic- tions proceed from the Holy Spirit striving with man, and come to attribute them to mere imagination. It felt to me that there were those there, who were unbelievers in Divine revela- tion, and the truths of the gospel of Christ ; and I believed it right to say, that if any persisted in denying and rc^'ecting the strivings of the Holy Spirit, throughout the day of visitation, they would be left in darkness. After dining, we rode to the house of a minister, and in conversation, he expressed his satisfaction that some points had been opened, as they were, in the meeting. He said a young man and his father were present, who were known to deny im- mediate revelation. The young man had been clerk of their Pre- parative Meeting, and was displaced, and a minute made on its records, that it was in consequence of his unsound principles. On Eleventh month 4th, fourth-day, we attended the Select Quarterly Meeting held at Lincoln, which was a dull time. At the close, I mentioned my apprehension, that Friends joining others in Anti-slavery and Temperance Societies, would be at- tended with injury to them and the young people ; their spirit- ual strength would be impaired ; and it did appear to me not proper, that our ministers should attend such places. It was true, we had our individual rights, and the Society had not prohibited it ; but I feared it would affect their growth in the life of Truth. We went to the Meeting for Discipline, which gathered very irregularly and late ; so that it seemed hardly probable we should have much solemnity very soon. After a Friend had made some observations, showing the necessity of feeling our own inability to do any good woi*k ; though my feelings indi- cated little like communicating anything, the testimony of the Apostle, that "The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God, to the pulling down strongholds," &c., had presented; and recurring with some weight, I rose with it, and endeavored to show that the weapons of the Chi'istian's warfare remained the same at this day ; and any that man could invent or use, in his own wisdom and strength, would not prove mighty through God, to the pulling down of the strong.- holds of sin, either in himself or in others ; that Christ alone could clothe us with^ the " armor of God," by which we were to make war in righteousness against the man of sin and son of perdition. These weapons were to cast down all imaginations 11 150 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. of sclf-importanco, and eveiy high thing, however specious, that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God ; bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. In the first place, experiencing this, in measure, effected in ourselves, we should be prepared to be used in his hand to promote it in others ; and whatever might have been our attainments, it is necessary to be frequently stripped and searched, that we may be found in a situation to be renewedly clothed with this armor. Satan could transform himself into the appearance of an angel of light ; and unless every thought of our own importance and ability was brought into obedience to Christ, we might be de- ceived and led into things which would not advance the Eedeem- er's kingdom. Even those who had known the sword of the Spirit unsheathed against the trangressing nature, and in good degree gained the victory over it, may be deceived if they do not abide in lowly watchfulness before the Lord ; for the beast had seven heads and ten crowns ; and after being wounded, its deadly wound was healed. I was also led to show that the church of Christ was compared to a body having many mem- bers ; each of which has its function to perform. As we kept our places in the body, every one eyeing the Head, and receiv- ing direction from Him, we should be preserved from interfer- ing with each other's duties ; Ephraim would not envy Judah, nor w^ould Judah vex Ephraim. When any felt the Spirit of the Lord stirring in them, as in the camp of Dan ; or as fire shut up in their bones; after waiting patiently his time, they were to deliver in his fear, what He gave them to communicate ; and that which was brought forth under right authority, would raise the life in others, who were keeping their places. There were those whose voices were not frequently heard, but who maintained a steadfast travail of spii-it, that all might be pre- served in the right exercise of their gifts, and a harmonious action together. These were like ballast in a vessel. Several views were taken of the subject ; and the young people encour- aged to keep under exercise, and to be faithful to the Lord's rc- quirings. A solemn covering spread over the meeting. But little Avas said to the Queries and Answers by anj' one. I made a few remarks, in which a Friend united, on the disadvantage of retaining persons in membership, merely because they re- quested ; after they had transgressed the discipline. We often ibund that such were of very little ubo to the Society ; and if their JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 151 principles were unsound, it gave them greater opportunity to spread the infection by mingling with the members. Next day attended the meeting for public worship there ; which is still held by this Quarter. In the afternoon returned to Starksborough, to the house of our very kind friends, J. and L. B., where we lodged. Eleventh month 7th. Set off this morning early, in company with our friend C. S., and wife and daughter, for his residence near Montpelier ; the weather being wet, and part of the road bad, made the ride uncomfortable. Notice having been spread, a number of respectable-looking people assembled with Friends, at their first-day meeting. It appeared to be my place to hold up the doctrine of the immediate influence of the Holy Spirit; and that those who, through its converting power, became the adopted children of our Heavenly Father, are drawn to pray for its assistance and preservation, day by day; that according to the language of our Saviour, "If ye being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall jour Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him." The subject opened in various ways; both in relation to the uni- versality of the gift of Gi'ace ; its various operations in baptiz- ing the soul, as fire to purge away its defilements, and render it fit to offer acceptable worship to Grod ; and also as to the medi- ation of the Lord Jesus, by whom it is communicated. I thought, however, that the stream did not rise as at some other times; yet the people were very still and attentive. I could not see that I had made any mistake, unless it was in rising too early ; but of this I could feel no conviction ; and yet I was brought low, so that I took little satisfaction in the company of Friends. Second-day, 9th. We rode forty-three miles to Burlington, on Lake Charaplain ; put up at an inn, and the following morn- ing, placing carriage and horses on a steamboat, we landed them at Port Kent, on the opposite shore ; where we were joined by a Friend, and then proceeded in the steamboat to Grand Isle, where a meeting had been appointed for us, to be held at half-past eleven o'clock. Through detention, the boat did not arrive until after twelve. We took a wagon, and at once rode two miles to the meeting-house, where we found a number of women convened, and some men, waiting for us. We sat down with them; several more came in, and after some time of wait- 152 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. ing upon the Lord, the subject of love to God and to our bro- ther was presented; and help was mercifully near, to qualify for the service. First-days' experience made me renewedly sensi- ble, that the gospel cannot be preached, but as the Master con- descends to open and furnish matter, and accompany it with his baptizing power ; and I felt very desirous of doing nothing but what He should direct. In this humble state, one thing was opened after another ; and prayer and thanksgiving arose, for the continuance of his Divine presence, and aid in the work which He appoints. When the boat returned from St. Albans, we went on board, landed at Port Kent, and taking horses and carriage, reached Peru after dark. Fourth-day 11th. Attended the usual week-day meeting here, and was distressed with the indifference of many. It seemed as if not a few have contracted the habit of looking for preach- ing, and neglecting their own business of seeking for sustenance for themselves. About time to close the meeting it appeared proper to bring into view the object for which we assemble ; which is to wait upon the Lord, and to feel after him, if ha2)pily we may find Him ; but if we pass the time in thinking our own thoughts, suffering the mind to range abroad among the objects of our worldly pursuits, we may come and go without receiving any benefit. I endeavored to relieve my mind amongst them. We have now got through the meetings of Fer- risburg Quarter, with the exception of Farnham, a meeting in Canada, which we could not visit in time to reach Saratoga Quar- ter. There are many goodly, well-concerned Friends in this part of the Society, wlio are desirous of maintaining our religious principles and discipline ; but it appears to me, that there is too much fondness for words ; and some, without authority, under- take to exercise the office of the ministry. Wherever there is a fondness for s])eaking and hearing, there will be danger that a sound judgment will not be exercised, in suppressing forward, active persons, who would intrude themselves into this sacred office. Hence a spurious ministry grows up, and the people love to have it so, ratlier than endure silence in our religious meet- ings. By this means, instead of being seasons of solemnity, imparting spiritual strength, the mind is vacant, uneasy and listless. Many neem to be very ignorant of the nature of re- ligious exercise; and the practice of thus assembling, is in dan- ger of becoming a mere form. If the habit of public speaking JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 153 ■without life is promoted, a multitude of such preachers may be spread over the Society, ministering death; and leading the members away from the place of true waiting and feeding, into a restless desire after words ; which will never build any on the most holy faith, nor strengthen them against one sin. Such find that speaking smooth things pleases their hearers, who will cai'ess them for their fair speeches, and extol them as fine preachers ; while the true minister, who cannot flinch from speaking the truth, will feel that his testimony is not relished, and a secret prejudice is indulged against him. But there are in almost every meeting, some painful travellers, who under- stand the language of the Spirit, and rejoice to find others speaking the same thing, and walking in the same tribulated path. These will salute each other as brethren and sisters, and rejoice in the fellowship of the Gospel ; and a secret satisfac- tion is felt in having been instrumental in visiting the seed. Before leaving our lodgings, I had a little opj^ortnnity with the family ; in which I aff'ectionately pressed the necessity of living loose to the world and its gratifications, and following the Lord Jesus, under the subjecting power of the cross. The general simplicity of their children was a pleasant sight ; and they were encoui-aged to join with their parents, in faithfully giving up to the requisitions of Truth, so that they might be- come lights in the world, and living members of the body of Christ ; prepared for usefulness in his church. Left there be- tween nine and ten o'clock, and rode about eighteen miles to a tavern, and dined, on our way to Queen sbury, about one hundred miles distant from Peru. Our course lay through a mountainous, rude country, many parts of it little settled, or capable of much improvement ; and the road, in some places, extremely bad, being very rocky, and the logged parts decayed, which made it very jolting. That night and the next, we lodged at taverns ; and on seventh-day afternoon, got safely to Queensbury, where we put up at the house of a Friend. At the time of the division, Friends, for the sake of holding their meetings peaceably, assembled in the afternoon of first- day, though their members were about equal in number with the Separatists. We attended the meeting, and from our feel- ings, thought a disadvantage sustained by assembling at that hour. It seemed ditfieult to come at much lively feeling, or a clearness of what was proper to be done ; not feeling easy to 154 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. leave t e meeting without bringing into view, the blessing of being brought under a right exercise of mind for the salvation of our own souls; and the still greater favor, of being kejit tinder it from day to day. I was enabled to speak to the states, as I apprehended, of some present, who had sutfered their minds to be drawn aside from pursuing those things which they had seen, in the light of Truth, belong to their everlasting peace. The fire was to be kept constantly burning on the altar, under the law ; and it is necessary, under the Gosjjel, to have the firo of Divine love daily replenished in the heart, that we may be qualified to offer acceptable sacrifices to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord, the Great High Priest of our profession. I felt very desirous, in using plainness of speech to some present, that it might be under that unction, which will open the heart to receive and acknowledge the truth of what is said ; and that this description of service, which represents the defects of professors, may be evidently a work of necessity and not of choice. On third-day attended the Select Quarterly Meeting, in which some ability was granted to encourage those who meet in the little companies which constitute the meetings of this Quarter, to keep faithfully to religious exercise, and the support of their meetings. Friends were few in the beginning; but by faithful- ness and steadfast dependence upon the Lord, they were in- creased in number and strength ; and so, by the same means, in the present day, the few who keep their places, may be like the roots of a new growth among us. The Quarterly Meeting was now again composed of the mem- bers of Easton and Saratoga, by conclusion of the Yearly Meet- ing; the latter having been instituted a Quarterly Meeting out of the former. This was the first time they again met in con- nection. On the subject of education, and the perusal of the Holy Scriptures, I made a few remarks, tending to enforce the duty of parents to watch over and rightly educate their off- spring; exampling them in bearing the daily cross, and instruct- ing them to yield to the influences of the Spirit of Christ in their own hearts; which would lead them into self-denial, and to lovo to read the records of the experiences of holy men of old, and the doctrines of Christ and his Apastles. It is the custom hero to hold a meeting for public worship ; the weather being very dark and foggy, it was not so large as usual. The forepart waa JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 155 heavy, and I think I have scarcely ever been kept in more suspense respecting my duty, as for a long time in this meeting; but believing it unsafe to attempt to move, until greater clear- ness, though several presentations were made to my mind, I kept still and inward. After a Friend had delivered a short testi- mony, the way appeared to open ; and through the Lord's good- ness and condescension, matter was furnished, and the sol- emnizing power of Truth spread over the meeting. Strong desires prevailed in my mind, that all present might, through submission to the washings of regeneration, and by the precious blood of Christ, be found amongst the multitude that surroun- pointed ; and detained at an inn till evening. To fill up the day, we walked through the town and its environs. AVere it not for the black appearance, which the smoke of bituminous coal burnt here, gives the city, it would bo a very pleasant looking place. The trade which centres hero, from the Monongahela, Allegheny, and Ohio IJivers, and the canal aiul railroad from Philadelphia, makes it a lively business town. It is also a great manufacturing town; particularly in iron and glass; and a large number of steamboats ascend the Ohio, to load and unload at its wharves. During the day, the retrospect of the embassy, JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 175 just finished, afiforded a flow, at times, of as peaceful feeling as I have ever Avitnessed on such occasions. About 9 o'clock in the evening, 2od of Xinth month, we took the canal-boat, and reached our beloved homes on third-day, the 27th, in good health. I found my family in their usual health, excepting our afflicted daughter; who had wasted much in my absence, l)y accumulated disease. But her mind was preserved in much sweetness and calmness. She continued to decline, until her sufferings were terminated by death, on the 13th of Eleventh month, aged eleven years. We all felt the removal of her purified spii"it from amongst us, her solidity and example pro- ducing a useful eifect upon the family. 1837. By appointment of the Yearly Meeting, in company" Avith my friend Benjamin Cooper, I went to Plainfield, New Jersey ; and attended their Monthly Meeting, and the Quarterly Meeting of Shrewsbury and Rahway, held there. These meetings have been much reduced by the separation. For the few who have been left to maintain our discipline and testimonies, we felt sin- cere desires that their hands may be strengthened ; and I was enabled to labor among them, to dissuade from the influence of the spirit and fVishions of the world, and to draw them into closer fellowship with our Holy Leader; that they might hold up a clearer light among the people, and experience a growth in the blessed Truth amongst themselves. We were brought near to one another, and parted with feelings of mutual love and de- sire for each other's welfare. Our last Yearly Meeting having referred the slavery of the blacks in this country, to the consideration of the Meeting for Sufte rings, that if way opened for it, it might addi*ess the citi- zens of the United States on the subject, it was regularly brought before the meeting, at its various sittings. It was be- lieved that such an address might be prepared, and circulated with benefit ; that the attention of the public mind was much awakened to the importance of the subject ; and many of the members of our Society, feeling a deep interest in the abolition of this abominable institution, were joining with others, in such measures, as they judged would conduce to its extirpation ; Avhile, as a religious body, we were not, at the present time, taking any active steps in it. From these considerations, and especially on account of the responsibility which our silence in- creased upon ourselves, some were desirous that the present 176 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. time might not be suflfered to pass unimproved; believing that Friends, might be instrumental in strengthening the hands of those who were sincerely laboring to remove the evil ; awaken- ing others who had taken little, or no hold of it; and, at the same time, show our members that the Society was alive to the subject, and still maintained the testimony it has long held, against the oj^pression of that people. After spending some time in deliberating npon it, in which a large number of the members expressed their unity, a committee was separated to prepare an address ; embracing the wrongs inflicted on the In- dians, as well as on the slave population, in these United States. An address was accordingly prepared, which, with some altera- tions, was adopted by the meeting in Fourth Month; and thence carried up to the Yearly Meeting, where it received the sanction of that body. Our evening meetings closed with the last first-day in the Third month. They were generally held to satisfaction, re- markably quiet and orderly ; a good degree of solemnity over- spread the assemblies, and it appeared that the desire for their continuance in the winter season was increasing. If the minis- ters and eldei'S, and active members are preserved in the unity of the Spirit, they will be seasons of harmonious travail for the welfai'C and preservation, one of another, and for the spreading of the dominion of Truth within our borders. There is a large number of plain young Friends in this city; and those who are placed as overseers of the flock, cannot but feel a warm solicitude for them ; that they may give up all to follow Christ, and become standard bearers and advocates in his glorious cause. Our Yearly Meeting held in the Fourth month was large. Much interest in its concerns was manifested by the younger members, whose deportment Avas becoming the occasion. We were favored with a good degree of religious weight in our de- liberations throughout, which were conducted and resulted in love and harmony. Our fi'iend, .lohn Cox, of Burlington, who is in the eighty-third year of his age, came down on second-day, and joined us on third-day morning. He was very lively and pertinent in his remarks, in application to several subjects brought into view by the (Queries and Answers. The number of visitors from other Yearly Meetings was unusually small. The closing sitting was considered by several of the older JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 177 Friends, to be one of the most solemn that we have had for several years. Fifth month 1st. Our friend, Joseph Gibbons, who, for many years has been a member and minister in our meeting, died this afternoon, after an illness of several weeks. My wife and my- self ealled the day before his death, to make inquiry after him, and being invited into his room, saw that a great change had taken place. He labored for breath, and could say but a few words at a time. She remarked that the work was finishing, and that she believed he would soon be released from his suffer- ings. He added, he believed the Lord would deliver him out of all his troubles ; that the wedding garment was nearly com- pleted, and that he would be permitted soon to rejoin his beloved companion, who had recently gone before. Soon after, he said, " ' Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, for mine eyes have seen thy salvation.' Oh, blessed and glorious conclusion to come to, through the mercies of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. I am a poor, unworthy creature ; it is all through mercy, un- merited mercy, unworthy as we are." He expressed much love for us, and took an affectionate leave, saying, " May the Lord bless and preserve you to the end of the race ; to the coming of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ." On taking him by the hand, I said, I trusted it would not be long before he would be released from all his sufferings ; he replied, " We must be re- signed, and wait the Lord's time." He departed the next after- noon, in the seventy-fifth jear of his age. To-day our Quarterly Meeting convened in the western end of the Arch street house ; men and women together. It was a very quiet, solid meeting ; and from the sensations which clothed my mind, I thought the change from a separate meeting of the sexes, was advantageous. It felt more like a religious meeting ; and I trust will prove a proper step. After the meeting for worship, the women withdrew into the eastern end, to transact their business. In the Select Meeting, held on seventh-day preceding, the state of things amongst its members, was a little gone into, and the great necessity of Divine wisdom to guide us, that we might not improperly exalt or depress any above or below what the Master appoints, was spoken to. 12th. In the course of my short pilgrimage, being now in the fiftieth year of my age, I have encountered some diificulties, 178 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. and passed through seasons of deep discouragement on various accounts. On commencing business for myself, I fully believed that my life, and my talents, should he devoted to the service of my Heavenly Father. Though it was necessary to make suita- ble provision for myself, and for those who might be dependent on me, yet, in my view, this was secondary to the main object of serving Him ; and through the aid of his blessed Spirit, taking part in the interests and concerns of his church and people. Very early I had the promise, that if I devoted myself to his service, I should never want food or raiment. But though I fully believed the certainty of the promise, and have never since been permitted to doubt its fulfilment ; yet when things in the outward have worn a gloomy aspect, and my business w^as very small, and an increasing family looking to me for their daily supplies, my faith at times has been closely proved. This has had a very humbling effect ; and while I have been weaned from the desire after outward things, both riches and temporal enjoyments, it has tended to bring me many times, in a pros- trated state of mind, to his footstool, and to lay all before Him, and ask for the continuance of his countenance and mercy to- wards me, a poor unworthy creature before Him. Herein I have experienced the renewed extendings of his unmerited re- gard ; the load under which m}^ mind had been laboring, was for the present, removed ; and ability was received to feel with and for the afflicted, and to hold forth to them the language of consolation, in their secret and bitter conflicts. Under the dis- cipline of the Cross of Christ, I have been convinced that much too great a part of the time, and of the energies of body and mind, are absorbed in the pui'suit of woi'ldly things. A great part of mankind miss of the true enjoyment of the provisions of a beneficent Providence, even after they gain them, for want of living to Him, and not to themselves. The}- are kept either in a constant hurried frame of mind, confused, or in doubt what to lay hold of to obtain happiness, or they settle down in the love of money; hoarding it, and husbanding it, out of a sordid attachment to it. They are in bonds; unal)le to enjoy, or to see in what true enjoyment consists. The work of religion is cither overlooked, rarely attended to, or postponed to a future day, when they think it Aviil suit their inclination and conve- nience. I am convinced that it is in our power, as we live in obedience to the Divine will, tolind time for all our duties, social JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 179 and religious. Even the poor, with common industry; as their desires and expenses are circumscribed by the Divine will, may, through his blessing, procure sufficient food and raiment ; and when it is projier to leave their outward business, in order to per- form their religious duties, they may confide in his superintending providence over their aifairs, and their families, so that they shall not suffer from their faithfulness. How simple, and how few are the wants of such ! They do not envy the rich, nor covet their pos- sessions. "Their delight is in the law of the Lord, and therein the)' meditate day and night." They eat their bread with glad- ness and singleness of heart. Their labors and their rest are sweet ; and as they seek first the kingdom of God and the righteousness thereof, all those things necessary to their accommodation, will be added. Here the devoted follower of Christ experiences the right use of his time and talents; and the true enjoyment of the various blessings which his Heavenlj- Father provides, and be- stows upon him. As time and the energies of body and mind arc wasting away, he is growing in grace, and in the knowledge of those things which pertain to life and salvation ; he is laying up treasure in heaven, where his heart centres ; and he becomes more and more established upon that Eock, against which death, hell, and the grave, cannot prevail. Our country has now been at peace with other nations for several years — the channels of trade, both at home and with foreign nations, have been open, and the inhabitants have very extensively engaged in it. The poor colored population, held in bonds in this land, have been bought and sold, and taken to the South and Southwest, where they have been driven and worked very hard. The profits of their labor have whetted the appetite of the slave-holder for enlarging his 02:)erations ; and the disposition to secure himself against the possibilit}^ of losing his bondmen through the growing opposition to the system in the North, has strengthened, and his excitability increased. Pride and corruption have risen to a great height. Not only towards the poor slaves have injustice and ci'uelty been practised, but the poor Indians in the Southern States have felt their dreadful effects, in a very sorrowful manner. In vio- lation of treaties, and of the solemn requisitions of the precepts of Christ, they have been abused ; their situation on their own lands rendered uncertain and dangerous ; and they at last com- pelled to migrate into uncultivated regions ; where, it is said, 180 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. not a few liave perished from want. While the citizens of these United States have been living in abundance, those men, the descendants of Africa, and the natives, once the owners of the country, have been subjected to a life of rigor and dis- tress, and their appeals disregarded. Can it be a matter of wonder, if the judgments of the Almighty should overtake a people, guilty of such oppression and injustice? Last year the crops of grain, particularly of wheat and rye, fell much short of the usual product, and at the present juncture the trade of the country has been suddenly arrested ; many wealthy merchants have failed ; and distress and embarrassment have overspread the community. It has fallen very heavily upon the South. Their produce has declined nearly one half in price, and it is said that some have been compelled to sell part of their slaves, to procure corn to subsist the rest. The Lord is slow to anger, and of great compassion ; but He cannot be partial ; his judgments will not always sleep. If the hand of violence con- tinues to rest upon the helpless and unoffending, we shall expe- rience them to be again and again j)Oured out upon us. 15th. A Convention to revise and prepare a constitution for the State of Pennsylvania, being now in session, such mem- bers of the Meeting for Sufferings as could be conveniently no- tified, met this afternoon to consider whether the cause of Truth could be promoted, by an application to that body to alter the article on the militia, so as to exonerate Friends, and all other conscientious persons, from training or serving in war, or pay- ing any fine for declining to do so. Four Friends were selected to draft a memorial to that body on the occasion. 19th. Sixteen members of the Meeting for Sufferings met to-day to consider the essay of a memorial, prepared to be laid before the Convention. The subject was renewedly deliberated on ; and after some time spent in examining the document, it was ado])ted ; and three Friends were appointed to take it to Har- risljurg. 25th. To-day I laid before the Monthly Meeting a prospect, with which my mind has been impressed for some time, to at- tend the New England Yearly Meeting, and visit a few meet- ings in the neighborhood of Newport; which I had in view when in that country a few years ago. The concern was owned, and a minute granted. 31st. After a silence of nearly six months, in our own meet- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 181 ing, it appeared to bo mj place this morning, to warn some wlio were growing lukewarm, and gradually swerving from the Htrait and narrow way ; of the loss they were sustaining, and the danger to which they are exposed. Many are called, but few are chosen. Though they may at first obey the call ; yet through unwatchfulness, and an unwillingness to suffer the seed i^own in their hearts to take deep root, and spread there; like those comparable to stony places ; when trial overtakes them, the plant of renown withers, and they never bring forth fruit to the praise of the heavenly Husbandman. Sixth month 8th. I set off, accompanied by my friend, Jo- seph Snowdon, to attend the Yearly Meeting on Ehode Island, and a few meetings belonging to it. We got into New York about two o'clock ; left it at five o'clock ; and at six on the fol- lowing morning, found ourselves entering Newjjort harbor. On landing, we rode out to David Buffum's. Seventh-day morning, the 10th. went to Portsmouth, and at- tended the Meeting of Ministers and Elders ; which, through the most of it, was a heavy time. The clerk remarked, just before concluding the meeting, that things had not passed on as cur- rently as was usual ; and wished every one to search for the obstruction. I had some serious feelings, and made some re- marks in relation to the importance of holding a Yearly Meeting ; and the necessity of every one keeping their respective places, so as to act under Divine direction. It was no uncommon thing to feel bai-ren, and destitute of Divine good, at the commence- ment of such meetings ; and if we made a right use of such dispensations, their proper effect would be to drive us to the Master's feet; there to wait for his arising, to Cjualify for his work ; and when He puts forth his sheep He will go before them. We must be emptied before wo are prepared to be filled ; and as we are engaged to keep our habitations in the Truth, we shall, in his time, find that there is bread enough in his house, and to spare. Several Friends spoke a little afterward, and ww were in some degree quickened together. Many of the mem- bers present, whom I had seen in the course of my journey in the Eastern States, a few years ago, expressed their satisfaction in now seeing me with them, and the feeling was reciprocal. In the afternoon attended the Meetino- for Sufterino-s. 11th. We staid at Portsmouth, and attended the morning meeting. It was composed of many persons not of our pro- 13 182 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. fession, and a prett}^ large collection of Friends. Win. Kenard, of Ohio, spoke some time very suitably ; and my mind being brought under exercise, I believed it right to hold up to view the coincidence between the prophetic testimonies of the Psal- mist and Isaiah, and that of our blessed Lord himself; as also of the Apostle Peter respecting Him ; that He is the only way by which we can come to the Father, and be made partakers of salvation. I was concerned to show how we were to become true believers in Christ, by obedience ; by receiving Him in his coming into our hearts ; and thus being true witnesses of his power and goodness, in delivering us from the bondage of cor- ruption, and bringing us into the enjoyment of the liberty of his sons. The young people were affectionately invited to en- list under his banner ; that they might receive the blessings which He has in store for them. The awful consequences of un- belief, and a wilful denial of the Lord Jesus, were brought into view; also the wretched condition of him whose only hope is in unbelief, and in destroying the authority of the holy Scrip- tui'es. They were solemnly cautioned against this dark spirit, and invited openly to confess the Lord Jesus Christ before men, in their lives and conduct. In the afternoon we came to ISTewport, and attended a very large meeting there. Several Friends boi-e testimony to the Truth ; and towards the close it was imj)ressed on me, to show that religion is not a speculative thing, but a real, heartfelt work. The prophet Malachi compared the dispensation, to be afterwards introduced, to the burning of an oven. John, the forerunner, said, that the axe was laid to the root of the trees, and every tree that brought not forth good fruit, was to be hewn down, and cast into the fii*e. He that sent bim to baptize, said, "Upon whom thou shalt see the Spirit descending, and remain- ing on him, the same is He which baptizeth with the Holy Ghost." " Whose fan is in his hand, and He shall thoroughly purge his floor, and Avill gather the wheat into his garner; but the chaff He will burn with fire unquenchable." Here the opei"ation of Christ's religion is, in three places, compared to fire. Thence I was led to describe some of its effects, in rooting out and destroy- ing every evil ])lant and fruit in us; and thereby preparing the soul to receive Christ, and his kingdom and government. Where this is experienced, love prevails ; first to our heavenly Father, and then towards one another, and all mankind. Here, wars and JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EA^ANS. 183 confusion are brought to an end ; and all such, being baptized by one Spirit into one body, become united together in spread- ing the kingdom of the Messiah ; whose design and work it is, that it may extend from sea to sea, and from the river to the ends of the earth. 12th, 13th and 14th. Attended the several sittings of the Yearly Meeting ; in which way opened to hold forth the ground on which our religious Society was gathered ; that of entire de- pendence upon the Minister of the Sanctuary, in all its reli- gious assemblies. The importance of rightly maintaining our discipline, was also adverted to; as a means of preservation to the flock ; and a source of instruction and of useful exercise of the gifts and faculties bestowed upon us. The young people were called upon to dedicate themselves to his service ; and as they were properly concerned, they would be benefitted by the exam- ple and wisdom of their elders ; and feel their hearts knit to one another, and to their more advanced brethren, as that of Jonathan and David were, in the work of the Lord, in their day. The practice, which has obtained in a few places, of opening Friends' meeting-houses, for other purposes than those of the concerns of oiir Society, having rested much with me, I men- tioned it at the close of the afternoon meeting, on third-day, for the consideration of Friends, in their different localities. It was taken up by the meeting; and the practice disapproved; and the clerk directed to prepare a minute on the occasion, to go to the subordinate meetings ; which was adopted the following af- ternoon. The Yearly Meeting concluded, with one sitting, on sixth-day ; having been enabled, through Divine kindness, to conduct and result its business in much harmony. When such a feeling pre- vails, it tends to unite Friends of the same meeting to each other, and also to their visitors, in stronger fellowship ; by which we may be qualified more availingly to advance the cause in which we all profess to be engaged ; sectional feeling and prejudices, if they exist, come to be softened down ; and the way opened to benefit, and be benefitted by, one another. However great the attainments of any may be, if they keep in a proper disposition, they will find something to instruct and enlighten them, in almost all places ; and such a state of mind is peculiarly need- ful, to fit us to impart instruction to others. A due regard for the 184: JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS, peculiar habits and views of those we visit; but without giving away the truth and the judgment of Truth; will often render it more practicable, to convey in a suitable way, our own senti- ments, and availiiigl}' impress them upon others. On the afternoon of sixth-day, we went by steamboat to Pro- vidence; attended their meeting -for worship on first-day morn- ing; and were at the boarding-school in the afternoon; in both w^hich, Divine help was granted to preach the gospel. We sat an hour and a half, before the way opened for me to say anything ; but afterwards a qualification was granted, to enforce the importance of co-operating with the means which Divine mere}' has provided, to enable man to Avork out the salvation of the soul. This is very simple in its requisitions; but must, nevertheless, be accepted and obeyed ; if it is not, we shall be rejected and left to ourselves. The expressions were brought into view, "They have Moses and the prophets, let them hear them ;" " If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rose from the dead." Naaman, the Syrian, was oftendcd at the simjilicity of the means pointed out for his cure; but when he yielded, it effected the object, and his flesh returned as that of a little child. It was a pretty open time. In the afternoon, the protection of our Heavenly Father, ex- tended to Jacob and Joseph, when separated from parental care, was held up to the view of the children, at the boarding-school; and their caretakers were encouraged to apply for that wisdom which is derived from above, to enable them to go in and out rightly before their interesting charge; and so to govern them, as to bring them to Christ; that they might be prepared, as good ground, to receive the precious seed of the kingdom in their hearts. 19th. We had an appointed meeting at Cranston in the morning, and one at Greenwich in the afternoon. They were both seasons of Divine favor. In the latter, the caution of the Apostle, to "Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit," &c., was impressed on the audience; and the danger of a captious, cavilling spirit pointed out; and the visit- ed souls of little experience, cautioned against talking away re- ligious convictions and impressions, by which they would suffer loss; and to beware of sceptical persons, who would watch to JOURNAL OF -SVILLIAM EVANS. 185 betray them, and turn them aside from the truths of the gospel. "We went home with our friend T. H., where ^ye passed the evening and following morning, very agreeably, the weather proving rainy. Here we were furnished with a chaise, and piloted to Ilopkinton ; where we had an appointed meeting in the morning (21st ;) and one in the afternoon at Pachmond ; both of them rather trj'ing; though in the latter part of the first, Truth rose into dominion, after a drowsy, lethargic spirit was exposed and reproved. On the 22d, attended Towerhill Meeting, and on the 23d, had an appointed meeting on Canonicut Island. The first was a very laborious meeting; the spirit of the world having gained such ascendency in some, that they appeared to be almost SAval- lowed up by their various pursuits; so as to give little or no time to the great work of salvation. Such, occasion much pain- ful feeling to those who visit them in the love of the gospel ; and block up the way for the stream of comfort and consola- tion, to flow to the weary, yet pursuing pilgrim. After dining with our friends J. and M. E., who reside on Point Judith, we walked down to the seaside to view a large stone wharf, which a company were building for a steamboat landing. It was pleasant once more to visit the house of these Priends, who accompanied me in 1823, from the Yearly Meet- ing at Newport, to Canonicut; where I held my first appointed meeting. Theii- son kindly conveyed us, after taking tea, to the house of a Priend, residing about a mile from the ferry ; and in the morning, we had a pleasant passage back to the Island; the meeting was pretty sjitisfactory. We dined at J. G.'s; his sister Anne, a minister, is in her eighty-fifth year. She seemed to be in a humble, confiding state of mind ; expressing thankfulness that her Heavenly Father had granted her the gift of his Holy Spirit; which had been her support under many trials, and was her comforter in the decline of bodily and mental strength. In the afternoon we took steamboat at Newport for New York ; and on the following morning, landed and went to our friends T. and H. Eddy's. On first-day, 25th, attended the morning and afternoon meetings. In the first. Truth opened the way to set forth the necessity of faith in God ; without which it is impossible to please Him; that faith which gives 186 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. victory over our corrupt propensities, and through which we are enabled to bring forth the fruits of the Holy Spirit; for as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works, is dead also. The importance of coming to realize the blessings of the Gospel of Christ; in which we profess to be true be- lievers; not contenting ourselves in a mere belief and profession, were enforced, under feelings of love, and sincere desire for those present ; that thus they might be preachers of righteous- ness in life and conversation ; and lights to others, in the midst of a worldly minded and dissipated people. It was a time of re- newed favor ; and prayer was offered up for the feeble-minded and fearful, yet sincere disciples of the Lord Jesus ; that He would lift up his Holy Spirit, as a standard against Satan, in his assaults upon them ; and strengthen them to acknowledge, in all their ways, the right of the dear Son of G-od to set up his kingdom, and rule in the hearts of all mankind. Our beloved and endeared friend Elizabeth Coggeshall, having received a severe injury from a fall, a few days before we reached the city; on going to see her, she expressed much thankfulness that her life was not taken in that manner; and that not even a bone was broken. Yet in a retrospect of the many trials which, in the course of her life, had fallen to her lot, she was much affected. I endeavored to comfort her with the fact, that in the midst of all her deep afflictions, she had en- deavored to show forth the efficacy of the religion of the Lord Jesus; and in the end, as she persevered, all would be well with her. She was a strength to her friends in the consistent exam- ple which she set, by her meekness and cheerfulness under affliction. She expressed her fellowship with me in the bonds of the gospel; which was encouraging, coming from one who had ministered to me when I was an apprentice, and by her very affectionate notice, not only endeared herself, but the Truth she preached, and invited others to. Friends showed us much kind attention in this city, though our stay was short. We left them on second-day morning, and reached home that afternoon, with peaceful and cheerful minds; under a hope that the cause of Christ had not suflPered by us ; and that H(! had condescended to open the way, and go l)efore, furnishing with matter for the states of the people, according to his Divine appointment. JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 187 CHAPTEEIX. 1837—1838. Memorial to a Convention — ^Visits to Neighboring Meetings — Abington, Sa- lem and Burlington Quarterly Meetings — Concern of the Meeting for Suf- ferings on account of the Introduction of Unsound Doctrines — Concord Quarterly Meeting — Religious Visit within Haddonfield and Burlington Quarterly Meetings. Seventh month 1st. Several da.js of this week, I was engaged, with the other members of the Book Committee of the Meeting for Sufferings, in reading and examining the Journal of William Savery, as compiled by my beloved and aged father, now in his seventy-ninth year. He had been employed, at different times, within the last three years, in transcribing and arranging the memoranda of that excellent minister of the Gospel, and having accomplished the undertaking, it was submitted to this committee. 10th. A Committee of the Meeting for Sufferings, appointed to present to the State Convention, a memorial relative to the clause requiring military service, or a fine, went to Ilarrisburg this day ; had conversation with a few members in the evening, and the following morning it was presented and directed to be printed. In conversing with several of the members, we found a number who were disposed to sustain the views of Friends, and to make such alteration as, they hoped, would be a relief We pressed upon them the propriety of securing the liberty of conscience unmolested, and free from the imposition of any penalty. Some were fearful if they attempted a direct exemp- tion of such conscientious persons, they would be defeated ; but by striking out those words which were inserted to relieve them, and leave the subject altogether to the Legislature ; with the declaration contained in the Bill of Eights, that no human power shall in any case whatever, interfere with the right of conscience. Friends might be effectually relieved; at least in time of peace. The delegates appeared much worn with con- stant application ; and having decided to adjourn, they were too unsettled to afford so favorable an opportunity for impressing 188 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. our views upon them, as at an earlier period of the session. We were, however, better satisfied in going, and doing what we could, than to defer it longer. Eeturned home on the 12th. 15th. My wife and myself went up this afternoon to the residence of our beloved friends Josiah and Elizabeth Reeve, at Upper Evesham, with Avhom we have had a very agreeable ac- quaintance and intercourse for several years. They are elders, who are worthy of double honor, for their integrity and love to the cause of Truth, and their faithfulness in its defence at the hour of close trial, when many deserted it, and brought all the strength they could to bear against it. Judicious in their notice of ministers, they neither shrink from giving counsel and ad- monition when it appears needful, nor from administering en- couragement to those who are weary, to occupy their gifts to the honor of the great Giver, and to their own and the church's comfort. In their lives and conversation they are examples to the flock. Shunning parsimoniousuess or ostentation, they use this world Avithout abusing it ; and at their hospitable mansion the poor meet with cheerful relief, and the traveller and friendly visitor an agreeable retreat. The enjoyments in the social circle of their intimate friends, are heightened by the ease and free- dom with which they entertain them, and the consciousness of their wishes to render their house and society a source of plea- sure, as they are the means of instruction and real comfort. They have had their shai'c of affliction ; but endeavoring to wash and annoint, they have shown the power and excellency of true religion, in supporting through it ; and enabling them to ani- mate and strengthen others with the saving strength with which they were mercifully sustained. May they go dow^n to the grave in peace, having the full assurance of hope, that He whom they have served, will accompany in the valley of the shadow of death, and graciously confess them as his own ; giving them an inheritance amongst them that are sanctified, incor- ruptible^ undefiled, and that cannot fade away. Wo attended the meeting to wdiich they belong, on first-day, and had to sound the ahu*m to those that arc at ease in Zion ; who are in danger of contenting themselves with their out- ward comforts, as being rich and full, and having need of nothing. A word of counsel and w^arning was also communi- cated to some, who had made some straight steps and entered into covenant, Ijut were in (hiiiger of losing their zeal, and be- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 189 coming luke-warm, and turning back to their former delights. My beloved "wife was favored to intercede for such, and for those who had few outward heljis on their spiritual journey ; and that all of us may be favored with the choicest of blessings, j)re- eei'vation to the end. Seventh month 30th. My wife and I attended Abington Meeting. She had a little to communicate; but on the whole, it was an exercising meeting. Dined with Margaret Shoemaker, the widow of our late beloved friend Charles Shoemaker, de- ceased a few weeks since. He was a man endowed with a good understanding; and through the power of Divine G-race, he had experienced a change of heart ; so that though he was possessed of an extensive knowdedge of men and things, he was clothed with the humility and gentleness of the Christian. His conver- sation was instructive and interesting ; and his kind and affable manners rendered his society very agreeable to his friends. There was a dignity in his deportment, and a shrewdness and clearness in his observations, which commanded respect, while they attracted the affection of his younger friends. The Monthly Meeting occurring on the Slst, we attended it ; and the way opened to hold forth the efficacy of true faith in the gi'ace of our Lord Jesus Christ ; and the necessity of keeping it steadfastly unto the end ; that so we might fight the good fight, and finish our course with joy, in the prospect of receiving the crown of righteousness, which is laid up for all that love Him with sincerity. The visitations of heavenly love in early life, and the advantage of obeying the Divine voice, as Samuel did, were pressed upon the young people. It was a tendering time to many of them; and ray dear wife was favored to petition the Father of mercies, on behalf of the youth, the strong men, and the fathers and mothers, who had held forth a hand of help and encouragement to others ; but who, as they drew near the close of their day, were assailed with the buffetings of Satan ; and sometimes with fears lest they should not, at last, find that rest- ing place and blessed reward they longed for. We returned home in the evening, satisfied that we had made the visit. Eighth month 7th. Our Quarterly Meeting was held this day ; and, on the whole, was a comfortable meeting. I think we were helped and strengthened. 10th. To-day I attended the Quarterly Meeting of Abington, held at Germantown. It aj)peared to me, that more willingness 190 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. "was needful among up, to partake of the cup and baptism which our Lord partooli of; that we might dwell with the seed, which is under suffering in various ways. Were we daily preserved here, we should become more quick of understanding in his fear ; and receive qualification from Him for his service in the church. There is danger of being wise in the letter, and re- maining on the surface ; Avithout a deep, inward acquaintance with the teachings of the Holy Sj^irit in our own hearts. 17th. I went to Salem Quarterly Meeting, held at Wood- bur}'. After Hinchman Haines and Rebecca Hubbs had borne testimonies, I was engaged to hold forth the importance of faithfulness in little things. As our growth in the Truth was by slow gradations, so he that despised the day of small things, would fall by little and little. The departure of such fi-om the straight and narrow way, as well as from the entrance into it, was from a small beginning ; and if we left it, though- we might think we kept much in the same course, yet every step took us further and further from it. Little things were often an indi- CDition tha-t some were losing that sincere love to the Truth, and fervent desire to walk in it, which they had once felt. It might be in some small departures in dress, language or manners, from the simplicity of the Cross, which their friends would be painfully affected with ; though they might not at once disclose to them, the sorrow and exercise which it occasioned them. The eye which had been closed, would be opened to look upon temptation ; and that eye which the Lord had anointed and opened to see, in measure, the beauty and excellency of the Truth, would become dim; and they would not be able to see things in the true light, as they had once seen them. Their judgment would be clouded ; and the way opened for the temp- ter to gain further advantages; and having departed from the path cast up ihr the Lord's children to walk in, they could not foresee where they might be permitted to wander, or into what temptation they might fall. Warning and invitation wore ex- tended to the ycmth ; anility to labor in his cause, for the help of others. It appeared to me there was need for individual examination: that the thinfjs which remain, but are ready to die, might be strengthened ; and the works of some be made more perfect before the Lord, than they had yet ever been. The reduced state of this meeting in point of numbers, is affecting ; and but very few young mem- bers are coming up, under the preparing hand of the Lord, for service in the church. Having no meeting appointed on seventh-day, we staid at the pleasant residence of our kind friend Sarah Hull, widow of that excellent minister of the Gospel, Henry Hull. Pirst-day 12th. Attended Stanford Meeting in the morning, and one appointed at the Creek in the afternoon. My dear wife had the chief of the service in both. I trust they were held to profit, to individuals who were present. Next day we had a meeting at Nine Partners, in which she found it her place to treat on the subject of the ministry. I felt engaged to hold forth a warning against the danger of forsaking the Truth, and joining with that which will deprive us of the crown, that is in reserve for those who continue to the end with our Lord, in the temptations or trials which beset his church and cause. " Blessed is the man that endureth temptation ; for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life." When his fidelity and allegiance are fully proved, his Lord will come forth and reward him with his presence and acceptance ; and as such hold out to the end, the incorruptible crown of glory will be mercifully granted to them, in the kingdom of their Father. We returned in the evening to our friend Asa Upton's and spent the next day there, and at the houses of his brothers, Paul and Smith. On fourth-day, the 15th, we took our departure homeward, where we arrived in safety, the next afternoon ; having the 208 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. clothing of peacefulness in the fulfilment of this little portion of duty. Ninth month. On the 11th I went with my brother Joel to Westtown School. We had a very tendering time in the meet- ing there, in the forenoon. The danger of losing our first love, and relying upon what we have known in time past, without experiencing the renewed baptisms of the Holy Spirit, was held up to veiw. In this condition we may be deceived respect- ing ourselves, and suppose that we are in a better state than we really are. Watchfulness unto prayer, and the disposition to desire those proving dispensations, wherein we experience a being baptised into the likeness of Christ's death and suffering, were recommended ; that thus we might, from season to season, be raised up into newness of life ; and be qualified from experi- ence, to testify to the Truth ; and not merely because we have read or heard of it, through others. Sarah Emlen knelt, re- turning thanks for the present favor, and praying that messen- gers might be sent forth to roll the stone from the well's mouth, as it had been done that day; that so the flocks might be watered; that the word preached might sink deep into the hearts of some present, who were ashamed to confess their Lord before men; and that their eyes might be anointed to see, and to discriminate between the chaff and the wheat ; the alloy and the precious gold and silver. It was a season of re- newing our strength and confidence in the mercy and goodness of the unslumbering Shepherd of Israel ; for which we desired, in reverence and humility, to return thanks to his great and worthy name. I staid the afternoon meeting, and also sat with the boys in the collecting room ; in both of which, counsel was extended on other subjects; and on the next morning returned to Springfield, and so home ; enjoying the calm of peaceful poverty, yet well satisfied that I went. 25th. Yesterday my wife and myself attended Frankford Monthly Meeting, held at Germantown. It was a day of Divine favor; the l)lessele to exercise their right to labor where they please ; and even those who have to labor hard, very often live upon the best food, though at the expense of frugality and economy. At BrowTisville, a Friend offered to take us out to Sewickly Meeting; and leaving our baggage, we rode to our aged friend's, Samuel Cope, at Providence, eight miles, and were heartily re- ceived. The road being wet and hilly, we rose early and were about five hours riding to Sewickly, sixteen miles ; where we attended their first-day meeting. Some ability was granted to labor for arousing the careless, and negligent, and the trans- gressor; and the language of encouragement was offered to the sincere-hearted, and to the young people, to come under the yoke of Christ. We dined at G. Gr.'s, who appears to be a well- concerned Friend ; and lodged at his brother B.Gr.'s. In the morn- ing, I had a tendering communication to his aged and weakly mother and her sister; in which they were recommended to the mercy of our Heavenly Father, extended to poor, sinful man, through our Lord Jesus Christ ; and exhorted to labor to draw near to the footstool of Divine Grace, that they may be pre- pared to partake of his pardoning mercy, and in the awful close experience acceptance through Him. We were all affected together to tears, under a renewed feeling of the Lord's good- ness and compassion. Set off in a shower of rain, and got to D. C.'s ; dined, and went to a meeting appointed at two o'clock, at Providence ; in which, after inwai'd, solid waiting, the power of Christ spread over us ; and the humble-hearted, visited children, were encour- 276 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. aged to increased devotedness to the Lord and his cause ; and I trust the burden-beai'crs were comforted. Samuel Cope asked me, in the evening, whether I did riglit in limiting the invita- tion to Friends, and those who usually attended their meetings ; but it appeai-ed to me that my concern was principally to strengthen, as ability may be granted, our own flock, and to turn transgressors among us, to the saving power of Divine Grace. In the evening, Samuel Cope's sons and their wives being present, I had an opportunity with them; and labored to impress them with the responsibility of their station as parents, and the importance of rightly exampling their children, and re- straining them from wrong things ; so that, as far as in our power, we may be instrumental in preparing the ground of the heart, for the seed of the kingdom ; when the good Husbandman shall see proper to sow it there. It was a heart-tendering time, and the aged Friends seemed comforted. 15th, Third-day morning. Had an appointed meeting at Centre ; in which the Master furnished matter, adapted to the different states. I was low and weak ; but keeping down to the Seed of life, I was enabled to minister, so as to reach the wit- ness in some, and experience peace in my own bosom. The state of one, to whom I was a stranger, a Friend said afterwards, was particularly described. This was a little encouraging ; having many fears lest I should be deserted of my gracious Master. We dined with the sister of D. M., a widow^, and rode home with him, and were kindly received by his wife. 16th. Attended their usual meeting at Brownsville, which was not so animating and comforting as some others. A want of faithfulness seemed to have brought weakness over some ; and when plain things arose to deliver, the separatists being in meeting, on the other side of the pai'tition, made it embarrassing to communicate ; and I labored along rather heavily. But the doctrines of the gospel, and the use and authority of the Holy Scriptures, were plainly held up and enforced. In going from house to house, there is a difference in our feel- ings. In some a sense of oppression is felt, in which we cannot breathe as in a pure atmosphere. This is a source of exercise, and we have need to keep inwai'd to the Master; that if any- thing is given to hand to them, it may be done faithfully, and yet in the spirit of love, and sincere desire for their help. In other families; particularly those of young, tender-spirited JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 277 Friends, who love the Truth, and desire to be faithful to their Lord and Master, the spirits of the true travellers for the pros- perity of Zion, are more at liberty ; and it is a strength to be in the company of this description. We took stage in the afternoon and rode to Wheeling ; where we arrived about three o'clock in the morning. One of the pas- sengers seemed disposed to talk on political subjects, and I re- marked to him that I thought the Grovernment better employed in making such roads as we were riding over, and in other im- provements, for the benefit of the county, than in building forts and vessels of war. He then argued in favor of self-defence ; said he would defend himself and family if assailed by a person who would destroy life, if he was not killed. I told him I could not tell what I would do in such an emergency ; but I believed .it would be wrong to take the life of a fellow creature under any circumstance ; that it would be best to put our trust in Divine Providence, and relying on Him, suffer death rather than destroy the life of a human being. But I believed his care was remarkably extended to those who confided in Him. That this was exemplified in the civil wars in Ireland; where Friends were exposed to the violence of the banditti, like others ; but of whom none were destroyed except two, who took up guns to defend themselves. And while William Penn and his friends held the government of Pennsylvania, there was no war with the natives ; but in other colonies, there Avas much destruction on both sides. 1 also remarked, that when the children of Is- rael served the Lord, they were preserved in peace ; but when they worshipped idols, the defence was withdrawn, and their enemies, who had been in peace with them, came in and re- duced them to servitude. More of this confidence in providen- tial protection was needed in this country ; but by placing our dependence in our institutions, and the right of suffrage, we may be disappointed ; as we had been already. He united in part with my sentiments, but advocated self-defence. We retired, being fatigued, and found ourselves refreshed by a few hours' rest. The profanity of persons in and about the hotel, made it feel to me a dark and wicked place to be in. It seemed as if many were utterly reckless of religion, morality and character ; and were given up to their depraved passion a and propensities. To be thrown in such society is very distress- 19 278 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. ing. The next morning, the 18th, we went on to Mt. Pleasant Boarding School. 18th. I attended the Select Quarterly Meeting ; my mind being encompassed with fears in relation to myself, and the journey before me. Towards the close of the meeting, under an apprehension that the defection of some w^hich had occasioned the acknowledgment of a want of unity in one branch, required the exercise of faith and patience, and a willingness to endure suffering, I thought it right to revive the exhortation of our Lord to His disciples, " In your patience possess ye your souls," and to express the belief that patience was a necessary lesson to learn ; that it was not only a means of our preservation, but through suffering, victory and dominion over wrong spirits was often obtained. Dear William Wood, in his eighty-fifth year, said he thought he had never been more tempted to take flight in the winter season, than he had been for some months past. 19th. Seventh-day. AYent to Short Creek Quarterly Meeting. Two Friends spoke in the ministry ; which I was readj^ to con- clude might be all that was required in that meeting ; but when near time to close the partitions, I was afraid to leave the meet- ing without reviving the expressions of our Lord, " The life is ;nore than meat, and the body than raiment." In a spiritual sense, it is of little moment what food the Shepherd and Bishop of souls appoints to nourish and sustain the spiritual life. lie knows what is best for us ; and though He may appoint strip- ping and poverty, and deep suifering for his children, it is our duty and interest to submit with cheerfulness ; and in this con- dition, wait upon Him until he sees fit to change the dispensa- tion. The fruit-bearing branches are to be purged, that they may bring forth more fruit to the praise of the Great Husband- man. Our dependence is to be individually on the Head of the Church ; every one in his place and allotment in the body w\ait- ing upon Him and not on man, and faithfully acting as He puts forth. This will not destroy the honor and esteem due to those of greater experience ; but all being baptized by the same Spirit into one body, they being banded together in the unity and fellowship of the gospel, will render to each other the love and respect that is due; and thus would be like the church coming out of the wilderness, fair as the moon, clear as the sun, and terrible as an army with banners. On first-day I was at the meeting in the large house; a small JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 279 company, amongst whom I was engaged to labor in the love of the gospel ; especially with some who had chosen their own way ; in order to show them that it is not in man that walketh to direct his own steps ; and the difficulties and perplexities in which such involve themselves, often not being permitted to acquire what they are grasping after ; or when they do, they cannot draw that comfort and happiness which they have anticipated from their worldly schemes and pursuits. But a good man's steps are ordered of the Lord, and he has not only the reward of true peace, but has the true enjoyment of the outward gifts of a beneticent Providence. The dignity of the true Christian was brought into view, as a member of the mystical body of Christ; described by John, the beloved dis- ciple, as a woman clothed with the sun ; having the moon under her feet ; all terrestrial, changeable objects in subjection to Christ, the Sun >f righteousness. After sitting down, the pointing to vocal pra}' er came over me ; and in fear I ventured to bow the knee before the Most High ; and to ask of Him, who knows our infirmities, to grant preservation to the end of our days ; and in his mercy to toiich with the finger of his love, the hearts of some who had wandered from the path of rectitude. A Friend, who accompanied me to the meeting, remarked, as we walked away, that William Penn told J. Rich- ardson he thought he might now be cheerful ; but I replied, it is best to keep low and on our guard ; for I was afraid of any- thing like getting from under the reduced condition I was in. A Friend kindly offering to take me to Smithfield, we set off in the afternoon, and next day attended the Monthly Meeting. Here I was painfully affected with the feeling that some who had known something of the visitations of Grace, had not kept their first love ; to whom I was led to apply the text given by our Lord, "Every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither Cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved ; but he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest that they are wrought in God." I believe there was ability to reach the states of some, and to hold up to others the importance of standing upright in maintaining the testimonies of the gospel : that a plumb, upright pillar, though small, would bear much weight ; but if it leaned either way, it was likely to fall and bring down what rested upon it. "We dined with our aged friend Wm. Wood, who was kept from meeting by indis- 880 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. position ; afterwards called on a few Friends, and in one family, had a tendering communication on the necessity of being re- deemed from the world, and showing our gratitude for the out- ward blessings conferred upon us, by dedication to our Heav- enly Father ; and thus become qualified to example and train the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Third-day morning rode back to Short Creek, and was at their Monthly Meeting ; in which I was silent, My friend N. H., having agreed to take mo in his carriage to some meetings, we rode to 11. C.'s and lodged. Next morning attended Plainfield Monthly Meeting; a small company of Friends ; some of whom, I feared, had been more concerned to lay up treasure on earth, than for the right maintenance of the cause of Truth. Many who settled in this country when land was low in price, have through industry, and the advance in the value of it, become comparatively rich ; and, it is to be feared, have not increased in heavenlj" treasure. 24th. Attending Flushing Monthly Meeting, a pretty large company of Friends, I was exceedingly stripped, and the fear of being left to myself, wnth which I have been unusually tried on this journey, came over me j but I determined to strive to draw near to the Master, and t'do nothing without his bidding; and after a time, the direction of the prophet, to bring empty vessels not a few, was presented, with an intimation to rise with it. By keeping low, to the gentle openings of Divine life, I was enabled to preach the gospel ; and the power of Truth rose and spread over the meeting. The humble traveller was encour- aged not to be alarmed with seasons of poverty and emptiness, when the Master withheld the manifestation of his presence, and there seemed not the least capacity to attain to any good ; but patiently abiding here. He will reward these sooner or later, with the smiles of his approbation, and renew^ their spiritual strength. I was humbly thankful for the evidence which He condescended to give, that He had not forsaken me ; and de- sired to be more given up to endure whatever He sees j)roper for my good. I know that I cannot bear much favor, but often need 8tripi)ing ; and if I am but kept in the life, and from utter- ing words without the power, so that the living may savor it, and the negligent be quickened, it is enough, with his approba- bation. The ground was now covered with snow, the weather cold, JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS, 281 and having nine or ten miles to ride after the meeting, we did not get off till near four o'clock, nor reach Smyrna until some time after dark. The country is very hilly, and we had some roads to pass over which were dangerous in the dark ; being cut out of the sides of steep and deep precipices ; where a little de- viation from the track might plunge us into great ravines. But by slow, careful driving, we got on safely, and were glad to shelter ourselves under a Friend's roof, where hospitality was freely bestowed. 25th. To-day we had two appointed meetings ; the first near Freeport ; in which more Scripture passages were brought to remembrance than is common in my ministry. I thought it might be for the instruction of some, and for the reproof of others, who were active in outward, religious performances, while their hearts and their conduct, at other times, were incon- sistent with the Gospel. To some of these the doctrine de- livered, was close and pointed. Before leaving the house where we dined, I had a sympathetic communication to the Friend, who appeared to me, to be an exercised woman and under trial. We then rode to Guernsey Meeting, appointed at two o'clock, which was a large company ; mainly plain people. It was an exercising time; the great prevalence of a worldly spirit ob- structing the stream of consolation. It seemed as if some had made gold their god; which makes hard work ; such being much out of the I'each of instrumental labor. We rode to J. B.'s and lodged, and the following morning rose early, and at daj'break, set off for Stillwater. At this meeting some ability was received to labor among them in the love of the Gospel. 27th. First-day. Had a little opportunity with the family where we staid ; in which the necessity of religious care, in exampling the children, and laboring to restrain them from wrong things, and to have their wills subjected, while young, were brought into view. Eode to Captina Meeting; a little com- pany. The exhortation of the Apostle to one of the professing churches, " Examine yourselves whether ye be in the faith ; prove your ownselves ; know ye not your ownselves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates ?" came before me. I reminded the company, that it is equally necessary for us at this day to do this, as it was for them. If we are in the true faith, Jesus Christ is dwelling and reigning in our hearts by his Spirit, and we are not in the reprobate state. Two kinds of 282 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. faith were brought to view ; one of which He is the author, in which we have dominion and victory over sin. The other is of our OAvn devising, and leaves man in his sins. The people were admonished not to rely upon a mere belief in the doctrines of religion ; without coming to Christ, and receiving faith from Him, that would enable them to overcome temptation and sin. The meeting was closed with supplication. In the afternoon, went to J. Edgerton's, who was absent on a religious visit, and spent a short time with his wife and children, with whom we had a religious opportunity. 29th. Second-day. Attended Somerset Monthly Meeting. The injunction of our Lord, "Labor not for the meat which perishes, but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life," came before me, and the Master gave ability to search into the states of some who were in danger of being too much engrossed with a worldly spirit ; and to strengthen the faithful in the discharge of their various duties; particularly some young and middle-aged Friends ; among whom there appeared to be some talented and lively-spirited individuals. These were encouraged, notwith- standing there might not be that dedication in others which they desire, and travail for, to keep themselves steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord ; and I believed their labors of love would not be in vain in the Lord ; but would be blessed to themselves, and at least to some of their children. It was a good meeting; the humbling, solemnizing power of Truth being over us. While my certificate was before the Monthly Meeting, an elderly Friend remarked, that " Though the Friend might go mourning on his way, bearing precious seed, yet he be- lieved as he was faithful, he would return with joy, bringing his sheaves with him." I mention these things, only to speak well of the excellent name of the Lord, and to encourage others to put their trust in Him ; and to labor to keep close tctheir Master in their lowest seasons, as well as when He condescends to reign. "We rode to Barnesville, and put up with our kind friends Wm. and B. Green. After breakfast, a portion of the Holy Scriptures was read ; a practice which I believe, when j^i'operly observed, will be beneficial to parents and children. Though I felt a guard against getting into a haldt of making religious comn:iunieation8 on such occasions, without the fresh putting forth of the Master, I believed it right to endeavor to encourage the children to yield to the counsel and restraints which their beloved parents thought JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 283 proper to extend to them. They would find it their true interest ; and as they were favored with the visitations of Heavenly Love, and submitted thereto, it would produce true peace and happi- ness. This morning, 29th, N. H. returned home, and E. S. of Still- water, agreeing to take me to the southern meetings, we rode six miles to Eichland, and attended an appointed meeting there. This part of the State, and some of the remaining original log dwellings, have the aj^pearance of a newly settled country ; w^hile the new and improved houses show the advance of many of the inhabitants in the comforts and means of living. The meeting-house was pretty well filled, and I was engaged to call the attention of those present, to the privations and hai'dships endui'ed by those who commenced the settlement of the country ; the apprehensions they may often have had, as to getting suflfi' cient food for themselves and their little ones ; the simplicity of their views ; the gratitude they felt for the blessing of Divine Providence upon their labors ; the covenants they were willing to make in the days of their beginnings, to serve Him, and the desii-e they then felt to promote the cause of Truth and righte- ousness. They were enquired of, how it is with them now? when prosperity has attended them, and the means of living and various comforts are increasing. Do they suffer these things to absorb their thoughts and atfections, and alienate them from the beneficient Creator? And are their children, who have not known these hardships, taking wings and fleeing from the con- victions and restraints of Divine Grace into the world and self-gratification ? They were reminded of Jacob's setting out in the world ; his first night's lodging on the earth with a stone for a pillow ; the vision he had of the angels of Grod ascending and descending upon the ladder; so that be said in the morning, " Surely the Lord is in this place, and I knew it not: how dread- ful is this place ; this is none other but the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven." And he made a covenant with the Lord, saying, " If God will be with me, and keep me in the way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and raiment to put on, so that I come again to my father's house in peace, then shall the Lord be my God." He also set up a stone as a testimony of the covenant he made. When he returned, having become two bands, notwithstanding the hardships he passed through, he went again to Bethel, and renewed his covenant ; previously calling 284 JOURNAL OP AVILLIAM EVANS. on his liouseliold, to bring to him their jewels and ornaments, which he hid under the oak in Shechem. The people were solid, and I hoped some good impressions were made. We rode after dinner about nine miles to Senecaville, and put up. In the morning we found the ground covered with snow, and the weather inclement ; so that the prospect of getting on over this hilly country to a Friend's house by the next night, was dis- couraging ; but with much industry we got to J. M.'s, at McCon- nellsville, on the Muskingum Eiver, a little after dark, thirty- three miles. It was pleasant to get under the roof of a Friend. We rested comfortably, and the next morning, fifth-day, Twelfth month 1st, crossed the river in a horse boat ; and over a road mountainous and quite dangerous, when rendered slippery by snow and ice, we rode to Hopewell Meeting ; the house being- well filled. I felt myself introduced into sympathy with some who, I apprehended, had secret trials to endure, in this newly settled and somewhat wilderness country ; and I believed it right to hold up to view, that it was a matter of little moment, where our habitation is, if we are in our right places, and are sincerely endeavoring to know and do our Lord's will. That though some may be taken whither they would not ; yet, resign- ing themselves to the Lord, and seeking strength of Him to endure their trials, his love and compassion will be extended to them ; and through faithfulness, they will be made a blessing to their families, and prepared for itsefulness to others. The SY)ring opened slowly, but in the end the power of Truth tendered the hearts of not a few ; and prayer was offered for the sincere traveller, and those of a sorrowful spirit ; and that the visita- tions of heavenly love might be extended to the dear young people. Friends manifested affectionate kindness. Twelfth month 2d. Sixth-day. Attended Stillwater Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, held once a year at this place. The company was small, seven men and six women. Near the close, I endeavored to hold up the responsibility of the stations we stand in, and of our example to the flock; and the need of daily exercise, that wo may be kept alive in the Truth ; and season, by onr spirits, the minds of the dear youth. Eeturncd to our lodgings, and passed the afternoon in retirement of spirit. 3(1. Attended the Quarterly Meeting for Discipline ; wherein, though under fear and emiitiness. a renewed qualification was JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 285 unexpectedly furnished, to preach the gospel of life and sal- vation through Jesus Christ our Lord ; showing that in order to be made partakers of that salvation which He purchased for us, we must be in the daily practice of waiting upon Him for the renewal of strength, by the bread of life and the water of life, which He gives ; both for our own growth, and to fit us for every good work in his cause ; and to perform that wor- ship to Almighty God which is in spirit and in truth. The rebellious were warned and j)leaded with, to turn their backs upon the corruptions of the world, and take the yoke of their Redeemer upon them. The blessedness of the religion of Christ was opened ; being inward in its operation ; every one receiving Him in his spiritual appearance in the heart, may become pos- sessed of it ; and, through perseverance, experience the old man with his deeds to be put off, and the new man put on ; and thus be brought under the flaming sword, which separates between the ijrecious and the vile, into the paradise of God, and into the image which Adam was created in. It was a solid time, and the poAver of Truth went over the meeting. The subject of education engaging my mind in the second meeting ; I endeavored to press on the fathers the great neces- sity for, and the blessings of a good home education ; wherein, with love and firmness, a steady restraint is kept over the chil- dren, with relation to dress, company, and indulging them in other things not suitable for them. With the unity of the men and women, I went into the apartment of the latter, and affec- tionately enjoined this duty ujjon the mothers also, who are more with the children, and have opportunity of early com- mencing the regulation of their will and temper; and, by a religious concern and firmness, of bringing them up in the nur- ture and admonition of the Loi*d. 4th. Rode out to Chesterfield, about seven miles, to their first-day meeting, which was very large ; some Friends stopping there who were on their way home from the Quarterly Meeting. I was here led to speak on the subject that we are not our own, but are bought with a price ; and were to glorify God in our bodies and spirits which are his ; and that we have no right to say we will go into such a city or place, and buy, and sell, and get gain ; but should say, if the Lord will, we will do thus and so. Many have lost ground, in a spiritual sense, by becoming unset- tled with a speculative si^irit ; and without taking counsel of 286 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. the Divine gift in their own breasts, have removed into distant parts, with a vieAv of promoting their worhlly interests. Those who go from their former habitation, lilce Abraham, by faith, under Divine guidance, have good reason to believe that the bless- ing of the Lord will go with them; and if they continue to love and serve Him above all, keeping the world under foot, they will prosper in the Truth, and with proper industry, will be blessed in their outward substance. The effects of a worldly, specidative spirit, were opened ; and some who had got involved in it, by which they had lost their first love, were affectionately and pressingly entreated once more to open their hearts to the Lord of life and glory, who had long knocked for an entrance, and let Him set up his kingdom there, before it be too late. All were invited to greater devotion to Him, that they might be established in righteousness, and be made more useful in its blessed cause. Owing to some coming from a distance, the meeting was kept an unusual time in an unsettled state ; and though when it ap- peared proper to rise, I had little before me, the Master was pleased gradually to open one thing after another ; and towards the close, a solemn covering was spread over us ; some were tendered and the Lord's name was praised. Rode to Plymouth in the afternoon and lodged. 5th. Here we had an appointed meeting at ten o'clock ; the people filled the house, yet it was long in settling, and did not prove as satisfactory as some others, though the way opened to treat on various subjects. The spirit of supplication was grant- ed, for the poor and lonely of the flock, and for the preservation of the young people from the snares of a cruel devourer. 6th. Rode back to near Pennsville and lodged. Yesterday's labor left me under fresh feeling of my own inability to do anything. Without the Master furnishes matter and power for the work, all our anxiety and past experience cannot open the spring, nor baptize the people. Holding a meeting to-day in this place, renewed strong desire to keep near the Shepherd, and to wait his time to see what to do. A large company col- lected, composed of various descriptions of people, and the prospect was trying. I thought for some time it would be pro- per to sit there, an exan^ple of silent waiting. But after much suffering, from the outward and unsettled state of many, it seemed necessary to rise and open the object of our religious JOURNAL OF AVILLIAM EVANS. 287 meethig"^ : not to utter words nor to hear words, but to worship God in spirit and in tnith. The need of stillness of body, as well as of mind ; the benefit of self-control ; having our thoughts restrained, and maintaining a patient waiting upon the Lord, were impressed. Every one being gathered to the gift of God in themselves, there would be a united travail to gain ascen- dency over the roving thoughts ; and to experience the solemniz- ing presence of the Head of the church, to arise into dominion in each one, and over all. The benefit of accustoming children to restraint at home, and to sit still in our religious meetings, en- forced by the example and authority of parents ; the importance of parents discharging their d ties to the children, and of the children submitting to their parents, were affectionately pressed upon them. The prodigals were warned of the fearful conse- quences of evil company, and pleaded with to come out of it, and return to the path of rectitude, that they might escape the in- evitable results of disobedience and rebellion. It was a solemn time in the end, wherein the humbling power of Truth was felt, and I felt clear of the place. Crossed the Muskingum river, and rode to a private house of entertainment. On fourth-day the 7th, rose before day, and as soon as we could see to drive we set out, making slow progress ; the road being stiff clay mud, a little frozen ; not travelling more than fifteen miles in six hours. At a small town called Cumberland, we dined as speedily as we could, and went on as soon as was proper for the horses ; though it proved a very hard day's toil to them ; and about eight o'clock in the evening got to T. W.'s. Some parts of the road, at all times a little unsafe, w^ere rendered quite so, for want of light, and the danger of sliding on the side of banks that were slippery. We also crossed two bridges in the dark, which our host told us he thought dan- gerous in the day time ; and had it not been for an obscure moonlight we could not have travelled during the last two hours. It was relieving to have a good house to lodge in ; being very weary after travelling fourteen hours ; nearly all that tiine sit- ting in the carriage. On fifth-day morning, before setting out, we had the family collected, with whom I had a serious opportunity. Got to Barnesville about noon, and my kind friend Wm. Green offered to take me to Sunbury and Somerton. 9th. Sixth-day had an appointed meeting at Sunbury. A 288 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. laborious time, without getting much relief; a worldly spirit being in the way, which is hard to contend with. Lodged at D. C.'s, and had a religious ojii^ortuuity with his famil3^ 10th. At an appointed meeting at Somerton, I was kept long in an empty state. Some presentations passed before me, but the recollection of the uurelieving result of yesterday's labor, induced fear of moving, and giving to others what might be al- together designed for instruction to myself. I waited to see whether the Master would call for any vocal service ; and his language to his immediate followers, "Without me ye can do nothing," revived ; with an intimation to stand up, ^-ood- ness and condescension of the Lord, in manifesting Himself for our help, and the meeting proceeded to the business. Some things which were cause of uneasiness, were brought before Friends ; particularly the neglect of frequently reading the Holy Scriptures ; both apart from their families, and also to them, at proper seasons. Many going out of the Society in mar- riage, and Monthly Meetings conniving at it ; such disorderly persons being kept from attending their meetings for business, but a short time, and then undertaking to sit in judgment on other violations of the discipline. These in their turn, are pre- pared to connive at the wrong doings of others, and thus con- tribute to lay waste the order, the discipline and the authority' which were conferred b}^ the Head of the church for its health and growth. Friends were also cautioned against the practice of attending meetings held by the separatists, by which the principles of young and old, ma}^ be subverted, and the advan- tages lost, which we ought to derive from being a people, devo- ted to the Lord and his truth. On fifth-day was held their usual public meeting for Divine worship. I felt no ability for any public service. In the afternoon we rode fifteen miles to A. E.'s, widow of the late T. E. ; whom we heard spoken of as a sound minister, belonging to Adolphustown Meeting. We found her house an agreeable lodging and resting-place, where travellers are kindly entertained. Next day, the 31st of First month, went to Cam- den, thirty-two miles, situated in a newly-settled country. The weather was verj- cold ; and when about half way on our jour- ney, we called at the house of a kind person, warmed ourselves, and got some dinner; and towards evening, reached our lodg- ing-place ; which was warmed with a large stove in the room where we slept, and one in the adjoining apartment, as well as a fire in the chimney ; all which were necessary to make us comfortable. Second month 1st. This morning we found the thermometer 364 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. at twenty degrees below zero ; the atmosphere clear and calm. In new settlements, w^here the benefits of religious education and habits are not always discoverable, there is reason to fear that that circumspection, which true religion requires, is not attain- ed, as it ought to be, among some. Population being thin, it is natural for persons to seek such society' as is within their reach ; and where there is a want of christian watchfulness, imj^roper associations may be indulged, obstructing the elevation of the standard of truth and righteousness. In the meeting which we held here w^ith the Friends and their neighbors, I was exercised on the danger of mingling with persons of uncertain principles and evil habits, who have little or no reverence for religion ; and I warned them against allowing their children to associate with such ; lest they should be j^oisoned in principle, and spoil- ed in their manners and conduct. Other subjects, as they were brought before me, were spoken to. Afterwards, a Friend said, if they had told me beforehand their situation, it could not have been more fully described ; which is another proof that the spring of all true gospel ministry, is in Him who hath the key of David : to whom all the honor and praise belong. "We rode back in the evening to A, R.'s, for the purpose of being at West Lake on first-day, not feeling clear of that place. The ride was cold, and the latter part dangerous, on account of the slippery, iced surface of the Bay road ; where we had fears of gliding off, in the dark, and were glad to get into our warm lodgings. First-day morning, the 2d, the thermometer was ten degrees below zero ; and having fifteen miles to ride, we rose and start- ed early ; the air was pinching cold. Had a laborious time at meeting, with some whose spiritual faculties seemed blunted, so that they have little qualification to engage in inward, spiritual worship, and little energy to maintain our religious testimonies. Called and dined at the boarding school, and had a word of ex- hortation to the teachers and the scholars. Eode back to A. R.'s, rather weary, and after supper, had a religious oi^portuni- ty with the family. 3d. Rode twenty-six miles to .1. F.'s, liear Kingston, and had a meeting at their meeting-house, about five miles distant, with Friends and others. For a time, I felt afraid that the Lord had deserted me, which lu-ought me low ; but before the close, I hope He opened some things for the instruction of the j)eople. JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 365 I returned to our lodgings in a humbled state of mind; proba- bly in part to prepare me for the trials which succeeded. 4th. As we came from meeting it snowed, and so continued through the night ; and this morning the weather was stormy ; presenting a very dreary, discouraging aspect; but notwith- standing, we set out and rode forty-six miles, through a severe snow storm, to a Friend's house, five miles short of the meeting- house at Leeds ; and glad we were to get under a warm shelter out of such inclement weather. Here we found a large family of children, and the Friends in slender circumstances ; which caused us to feel much for them, and for their children. Such have many hardships to encounter ; and their time being almost wholly occupied in providing necessary food and clothing, leaves but little opportunity to give direct attention to the habits and mental improvement of their offspring. Yet such is the great importance of right principles being impressed on their tender minds, and adopted, they should do what they can, to bring up the children not only in industry and cleanliness, but instructing them in useful bi'anches of learning ; in fre- quently reading the Holy Scriptures ; and, above all, to tiirn their hearts to the teachings of the Holy Spirit, that they may be bi'ought to live in the fear of their great Creator. By this godly care, enforced by example, the minds of the children would be stored w^ith knowledge, that would raise them above the practice of low jesting, and trifling conversation on subjects or occurrences of a frivolous character; and which tend to de- grade the mind. How responsible is the standing of those who are engaged in instructing others in the work of religion. AYhile advocating the power of Divine Grace, how ought they to show its efficacy in themselves, and in a proper concern and care for their offspring. Where practice does not enforce precept, there may be reason to fear that persons have mistaken their sphere in the church, and are carried away, by creaturely activity, abroad, as a substitute for the faithful discharge of domestic duties. The profession of Divine guidance is brought into dis- repute, by the neglect of our own families, manifested by un- cultivated minds and irreligious manners ; however zealous we may appear for the welfare of others and their children. Such may find it much easier to counsel others how they ought to live, than to restrain and rightly tutor the lambs committed to their care. There are persons in low circumstances, who, by their 366 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. industry and prudent management, bring up thpir children in habits of sobriety and proper laboi-, and also get for them suit- able school learning ; but it is generally those who stay much at home, minding these important duties ; and thus are a blessing to their families; and their children, as they grow up, are oftea a blessing to such parents. 5th. Though the storm continued, and much snow fell through the night, we believed it right to endeavor to get to the meet- ing ; but little did we know of the difficulties in our way. We soon found ourselves in a depth of snow, through which the horses could not draw the sleigh more than a rod or two, without stopping to get breath. After proceeding about a mile, with much difficulty, we desired our guide, who was on horseback, to go to a Friend's house, and get him to come out with a yoke of oxen, to break the road before us. The Friend followed his oxen, often above his knees in the snow, in their track, continu- ally urging them forward. We dragged after them at a slow, laborious pace, about a mile, when he thought it impracticable to CO further, and advised us to return to the house we left in the morning. To this we were decidedly opposed, as the house we wished to reach was but one and a half mile distant. We stopped at a house near the roadside, and though discouraged, we prevailed on the man to get out his oxen to aid us ; but one of them proved so weak, he was unable to push through the snow, even without anything to draw after them. He had neither accommodations for us, nor stabling for horses ; and, of course, it was necessary to make attempts to get on. The man, without his oxen, accompanied us, assisting the Friend to drive his oxen ; whom we occasionally relieved by taking him on our sleigh. Several kind persons, seeing our situation, turned out, and assisted breaking the road, by trampling down the snow, sometimes up to the waist, until we reached another farm-house. Here tliey kindly ^^oked up two pair of oxen, and attached them to a sled; and another person turned out on horseback, so that we soon had the road so open, that we got to Ilarvey Derby- shire's; four miles from our starting place in the morning. It was now after twelve o'clock; we having been about four and a half hours coming four miles ; and truly glad we were to find ourselves within reach of so comfortable a shelter for ourselves and horses. I had never experienced such feelings, fi-om the apprehension of the consequences, should we be left in fields of JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 367 snow, by our horses getting down and giving out ; the harness breaking, and no houses within reach. But we had cause for thankfidness, that we were released from such dangers and sen- sations, and hospitably provided for. The storm continued, and I felt much concerned about the Friend who had between two and three miles to travel back to his home ; lest he should be overpowered by the depth of the snow : he, however, got back safely. The snow was so banked up about the house, that they were fearful the cattle would get almost buried in it; and the Friend and his boy were up in the night, to ascertain their con- dition. Next day I had a chill, and was obliged to go to bed ; as it subsided, fever came on, which went off towards night, with profuse perspiration ; and I hoped it would terminate the disease. 7th. The road being pretty well broken, we went to P. W.'s, near the meeting-house; and the next day I had a return of chill and fever. The disease constantly prostrating me, the severity of the climate, and the great distance from home, made my situation feel serious ; which was increased by the state of the roads ; and I have seldom passed through a greater trial of faith. A Friend rode eight miles to the residence of a physi- cian, but he had gone to Brockville. Of course, he did not find him ; but P. AV. going out about a mile in the opposite direc- tion, to attend to some business, met him and brought him to see me. Having quinine with him, he prepared me a mixture, and giving me directions how to take it, expressed the belief that the disease would not continue long ; which was encourag- ing. The fever went off iis before, and I took the medicine faithfully. 9th. This morning the thermometer was twenty-two degrees below zero, at eight a. m. Though the doctor had advised me not to go to meeting, yet as it was first-day, and I was desirous to do the work that might be required, so as to be prepared, when able, to take my departure, I wrapped up well and went. A large company collected, towards whom I had sojne service, but being weak, and the house rather warm, I was not able to stand long. When the time to close came, I requested Friends to re- main together, while others withdrew; and after a pause, the way opened to address them on the preparation, call and quali- fication for the ministry of the gospel, and the duties of elders ; also on the danger of mistaking our calling ; and hence the 368 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. necessity of lowly watchfulness before the Lord, and the spirit of discernment in those, whose place it is to judge; that they may be qualitied to counsel those who may speak merely to an- swer the cravings of the people for words, for fear they will be scattered. The danger of setting up a man-made ministiy, out of which the Society was originally gathered, was opened ; that thereby the testimony would be laid waste, which the Lord gave us to bear, to tlie spiritual character of Divine worship, in silent, reverent waiting upon Him. "When persons mistake their calling, and elders do not discharge their duty faithfully, in silencing such intruders, they bring distress upon the living members, and often make a party to support them ; which in- troduces difficulty into a meeting. In transacting the aftairs of the church, they were exhorted to retire to the gift of God in themselves, as in their silent approaches in Divine worship ; that they may be made acquainted with their respective duties and services, and enabled to perform them ; and when they have delivered what was impressed on their minds to say, to leave it before their brethren and sisters, without urging it, and ruling over them. Christ is given to be Head over all things, to his body the church. These things were laid before them in love, Avith a sincere desire they might be found laboring together for the faith of the gospel. I felt very feeble on returning to my lodgings, and being able to take but little nourishment, I was depressed with the apprehen- sion, that for want of suitable aliment, I should sink so low as not soon to be able to travel. Home, and my dear connections were far distant, and such a great body of snow lying on the ground, and it being probable still more would fall ere long, my faith seemed almost ready to fail ; but looking up to my Heavenly Father, I was enabled to pray to Him, that He would not per- mit anything to fall upon me, that I could not bear, lest the spirit which He had made, should fail before Him. I was op- pressed in body and mind, and at the usual hour, retired to rest, and after some conflict with the reported difficulties of crossing the St. Lawrence, finally got asleep ; and in the morning, rose somewhat refreshed. As I sat alone. in my lodging-room, an intimation was given me, that my sulferings in that place, were at an end; and then I knew that I should not be much longer kept there. The weatlier proved more moderate, and though it wab the usual day for the chill, it did not return, and JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 369 we concluded, contrary to the physician's advice, to set out for Le Eay Quarter at noon. By that time the road was well broken to Brockville, on the river, and there was a plain track over it, so tluit our fears, on this account, soon vanished. "We passed over safely, and put up for the night at a tavern, about a mile from the landing ; with thankful hearts that we were once more in our own country, and progressing to the remain- ing work, which w^ould bring us, comparatively, in the neighbor- hood of home. Lodged comfortably, and found my appetite improved by fresh air and change of diet, and my strength in- creased. No one who has not passed through similar feelings, can realize the agreeable change 1 experienced. 11 til. Third-day. We rode seventeen miles, principally through a romantic countrv, called the Rossie Hills ; dined, and in the afternoon went eighteen miles further to the residence of R. T., near New Philadelphia, where we were kindly received and entertained. 12th. Snow again falling very fast, after rain, rendered it doubtful that many would attend the usual meeting, held to-day ; though some notice of our wish to see Friends had been spread. I went to it in weakness and fear, after such reduction in body and mind; not knowing whether I should be owned and helped by Him, without whom we can do nothing. After a time of silent, inward waiting, I was strengthened to stand up, and found ability to search out some, who were concealing them- selves under a plain outside, but greatly needed the inside to be made clean. I was thankful for Divine help in discharging my duty to them, and in strengthening the honest hearted present. In the afternoon, we rode to J. and L. C.'s, not far from Le Eay- ville, where we found a true resting place. The concerns and interests of our religious Society, were uppermost with these Friends, and after part of the evening had been spent in in- structive converse, we fell into silence, and a word of con- solation and encouragement was furnished for them and their daughters. 13th, Attended their regular meeting, in which I was en- gaged to labor, I hope, in the authority of Truth. Parting with these dear Friends seemed hard on both sides, feeling one another in the best fellowship. So few Friends visiting them from a distance, they expressed their reluctance at our staying so short a time ; but in order to get to Lowvillc, and hold a 370 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. meeting next morning, it was necessary to ride fifteen miles this evening; which we did, and lodged at a tavern. The weather was cold ; the mercury being several degrees below zero. I thought I never before saw the moisture from the horses, freeze on their bodies, as it did almost immediately after setting out, while the sun shone on them. 14th. Word having been taken over night, by a Friend, for a meeting, we rose early, and without waiting for breakfast, which was quite indiscreet, considering the severity of the weather, we rode about ten miles to J. S.'s. A fine hail com- menced falling before meeting time. The company was small, and in sitting with them, it appeared to me, weakness had spread over the heads of the tribes; and the injunction, "Be watchful and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die ; for I have not found thy works perfect before God," was revived and applied. The spirit of prayer was granted, to petition for help from the sanctuary ; that those who were negligent and indiflPerent, and had lost ground, might be forgiven and brought to renew their covenant, and come up in greater faithfulness ; also, for the young people, who have so few to lead them in the right way ; that the Lord would touch their hearts with the finger of his love, enamour them with the beauty of holiness, and the excellency of his blessed Truth. The hearts of some were affected. We went to T. T.'s and lodged. 15th. In coming out this morning to the main road, we found the track so filled with drifted hail, that, in some places, the horses sunk in it nearly to their bodies, and the sleigh was with difficulty prevented from overtui^ning. We drove south about fifteen miles, dined and fed our horses at an inn, and to- wards evening, reached J. P.'s at Lee. Those who have never travelled in a country, where the snow is above the tops of the fences, and there is but one track, are not aware of the difficulty, and sometimes dangei*, in turning out of it, to pass vehicles we meet. Tlic oft'horsc plunges deep into the snow, from which it requires a great effort to recover the road, oidangcring the harness or getting entangled with the passing sleigh. 16th. First-day morning. Snow lulling fast, presenting a discouraging prospect, both on account of the size of the meet- ing and the difficulties of travelling. The number who came was greater than I expected ; but, though I endeavored to do JOURNAL OF AVILLTAM EVANS. 871 ■u-hat appeared to be required, it was not a very animating time ; yet I hoped that serious impressions were made on some. After dinner, we parted with our companion, B. Bowerman, who had been with us through Canada, and rode to Z. H.'s ; being ob- liged to ride eleven miles round, instead of six miles across the hills, owing to the fall of snow this morning. We passed an agreeable evening in conversation with this Friend, who appear- ed to be firm in the doctrine of the gospel as held by our Society. The very general de^mrture of the young people from plainness of dress, throughout this Quarterly Meeting, gives ground to apprehend that the Society in many places, will decline, if not run out. To the indulgence of parents and others, it is to be mach attributed ; who, instead of restraining the children, grat- ify their fondness for dress. What abundant cause is there for mourning; as it is evidence of the degeneracy overspreading many parts of this, as well as other Yearly Meetings. 17th. We had an appointed meeting at Werkenville, com- posed of members and other professors. It was a good meet- ing, in which was set forth the peculiar glory and excellenc}'" of the gospel dispensation ; which brings a knowledge of the Divine will home to every man, with strength to do it ; and en- ables him to worship God in spirit and in truth, without human aid, or the intervention of words. A solemnity was over us. Friends were refreshed, and I felt thankful for the Lord's good- ness in qualifying for his work ; without which we can do nothing. We rode six miles to an elderly Friend's house ; dined, and after a religious opportunity with a member, who was absent when we were at the meeting to which she belongs,- we rode nearly eight miles to C. P.'s, in Westmoreland. Here we met with some hopeful young people, and found it a j)leasant lodging place for weary pilgrims. 18th. Held a meeting here; in which was emphatically opened and pressed, the danger of being swallowed up in busi- ness ; by which the work of salvation would be almost or en- tirely, neglected. I expressed the hope which I felt, that young persons present were designed by the Lord, to be prepared and made use of, in building up the waste places, and restoring the former desolations among us. These were pleaded with to yield to the convictions and drawings of his Spirit, that they might be redeemed from the love of the world, and know Him to fit them for his service in the church. It Avas a tendering time with some, 372 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. which was renewed at our lodgings, in a religious opportunity with a number of 3'oung persons, before we set out for New Hartford ; some of whom, I believed, if they are faithful, will be qualified to support the ark of the testimonies. It was plea- sant to see marks of care and religious concern in some hero, to keep to simplicity, and to bring up their children rightly. Oh how are the reins of government thrown upon the necks of children, and they encouraged to copy the corrupting fashions, and manners of the people around them, with whom they too freely mingle ; much to their hurt. Eode in the afternoon to a Friend's house, near New Hartford meeting-house ; but found him so unwell that we could not be accommodated. AVe went to the residence of another, and were told that he also was indisposed, but no other being convenient they consented to take us in. We went to the meeting-house, whei-e we found a few Friends kindling a fire. A little company gradually collected, with whom we had a tender opportunity, to the comfoi-t of the sin- cere ones, who are striving to keep up their little meeting at this place. Several expressed their satisfaction. Plainness of speech was used towards a different class ; who are deficient in the life of religion. After dinner rode to Madison, about twenty-four miles, and put up with a Friend, in the village of Hamilton. 20th. Attended their regular meeting, which was small, and in which I labored according to the ability afforded. In the afternoon went to Brookfield; our guide gave notice to the families, as we rode along, of the appointment of a meeting, to be held the next day ; which to me, was a trying time; the evi- dence of declension from primitive zeal, and the neglect of the great work of salvation, were affecting to me. In the afternoon we had a tedious ride of twenty miles, some part of it difficult from snow banks, which began to give way under the horses, so as to make them plunge a good deal in passing over the drifts. We found H. B.'s, which we reached al)out seven o'clock, an agreeable resting place, after such a ride. 22d. We had a meeting at Burlington ; which was much larger than we expected, from the short notice, and it being seventh-day. I was glad to see so many ; it seemed an indica- tion of life, and a desire to obtain good. They wore encour- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 373 aged to individual faithfulness, from the example of Nehemiah, who, notwithstanding, his besetments, effected much by perse- verance ; through the Divine blessing. I hoped it was a good meeting; there being, as I thought, sincerely concerned ones, who would rejoice in the prosperity of Zion. Under a sense of the protecting power and goodness of our Heavenly Father, extended to us in this journey, I was led to bow before Ilim, and acknowledge his mercy in visiting us in the morning of life, and keeping us to this hour; and implored his continued pre- servation, through the remaining snares and temptations with which a cruel enemy might assail us ; in order to destroy that which He had done in us and for us. In a view of the trials awaiting us, from the unsettled state of our religious Society, there is great need of watchfulness and fervent prayer to our Heavenly Father, for his delivering arm, that it may be round about his afflicted children and servants. After dinner we proceeded to H. B.'s, at Oneonta, eighteen miles ; which was laborious travelling, the road being bare of snow nearly one-half the distance, from the present mildness of the weather. Here we felt like coming to the close of our visit, this being the starting point where we set out, for the meetings in this part of New York Yearly Meeting. We were very cor- dially received by his wife, Henry being from home ; and ac- knowledgments of the Lord's mercy, secretly rose in my heart, He having thus brought us safely through this trying and labo- rious journey. 23d. Attended the first-day meeting at Butternuts; in which 1 felt a strong interest in some of the 3"0ung men ; to whom the language of persuasion was offered, to yield to the convictions of the Holy Spirit, which would change their hearts and their actions, and give them true peace ; in place of a restless, unhap- py condition, which often attends disobedience of the Divine law. We must leave our labors with the Lord. We were detained, waiting for the stage, iintil third-day af- ternoon ; and in the meantime, sold our carriage and horses ; wdiich was a great relief, for we should probably have found it difficult, to drive through the mountains, on account of snow. We were taken to Oneonta ; whence the stage started at twelve o'clock in the night ; we got some sleep, but setting out in an open wagon, was rather chilling; but there was no alternative. We passed over a rough road, but reached Catskill, on the North 25 374 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. River, about eight o'clock in the evening, somewhat fixtigned ; the distance being seventy-three miles. Here we were detained waiting for a steamboat, until after dark, next evening. When on board, we were w^ell pleased to find ourselves in such an ex- peditious mode of conveyance homew^ard. The crowd in the boat, the darkness of the night, and the driving of the vessel on large cakes of floating ice, which made her tremble from stem to stern, together with some noisy passengers, made the voyage unpleasant. We landed in New York a little after five in the morning, and walked to our friend John Wood's ; whom we found in a poor state of health, though at that time better than he had been. He was a man of a christian spirit ; and from the opportunity I had of observing him, appeared to be ready to forgive his enemies, bearing their reproaches, in a pleasant, cheerful spirit. This was the last opportunity I had of seeing him, and he was then in this disposition, while he conversed on some of his trials. He died in a few weeks after, firm in the faith that he had borne a righteous testimony to the Truth ; and having a well-gi'ounded hope of entering into ever- lasting rest and peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ; whose servant he was, and was not ashamed to confess his Di- vine Master openly before men. He was a lover of the Truth, and of the friends of Truth, and an able minister of the gospel of life and salvation. We crossed the North Eiver to Jersey City, and took the car for Philadelphia, at nine o'clock; and in about six hours were restored, in safety and peace, to our beloved families and friends. My heart was clothed with gratitude and thanksgiving to our gracious Caretaker, for his unmerited mercy and goodness in preserving us ; furnishing renewed strength, from time to time, to do his will, and bringing me back with the reward of sweet peace ; and to find the like peace and preservation had been dispensed to my dear wife and children during my absence. I endeavored throughout the visit to maintain a state of watchfulness, that nothing might occur to mar the work ; and after my return, I was favored with much peace and serenity ; and in looking over the journey, nothing appeared that created uneasiness, or caused feelings of regret ; which I esteemed a mercy. JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVAXS. 375 CHAPTEE XYIII. 1845—1846. Want of the Life of Religion in the Society — Visit to Exeter and Maiden Creek Meetings — Visits to different Meetings within Philadelphia Yearly- Meeting — Ann Jones of Stockport, England — Visit to Stanford Quarterly Meeting, New York, and its Branches. 1845, Tenth month 8th. After a season of long silence, my mind was invested, at our own meeting, with the sense that what is wanting, is the life of religion ; accompanied with a re- newed evidence, that He who is the resurrection and the life, is graciously near to manifest Himself in that character. The duties which are of an outward nature are to be performed; but they may be fulfilled, and the power of godliness denied. Many appeared to me in that situation ; j)lain in the exterior, regular in coming to meeting, and desirous of hearing ministry ; but are destitute of that travail of soul and fervency in seeking after Christ, which He would reward with the cheering beams of his countenance, and the bread which nourishes up the soul to ever- lasting life, and renews our love and courage to follow Him, and to wait for Him. Seldom have I felt my love to the Lord Jesus stronger than I did this day. My spirit humbly bowed before Him, and returned thanks, that were not uttered, for his mercy in raising me up as from the dead, to testify of his truth and his goodness, and to incite others to come and submit them- selves to Him. 9th. Went to Westtown to attend the semi-annual meeting of the committee there. We found the school in rather a pros- perous condition as regards the progress of the pupils in their studies. I rarely visit this institution without feelings of peace- ful delight arising from the persuasion, that the unslumbering Shepherd of the sheep watches over the little flock there, and ■will reward the sincere and faithful efforts of the caretakers and teachers to guard and instruct the dear children. Meeting with several beloved Friends on the appointment was animating ; and I hope productive of good. 28th. For days past poverty of spirit, and being brought 376 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. low, have been my portion. My only hope has been in the compassion and loving kindness of the Lord, my helper and keeper, and the belief that He would not forsake me. To-day I went to Frankford Monthly Meeting; and after struggling with feelings of great discouragement, I yielded to apprehended duty ; and the Lord, in mercy, opened the spring of the minis- try, and gave me tongue and utterance, to my own consolation, and the comfort of his people. I was thankful for this token of his goodness, and proof that He had not forsaken me. 29th. Our Monthly Meeting, held to-day, was a solid oppor- tunity ; both that for worship and for the administration of the discipline. There was an unusual solemnity over the latter, in which, I believe, not a few were under a sincere travail of spirit, that we might be favored with the Master's presence, and quali- fied to act in his authority. It is this alone that strengthens to advance the cause of Truth, and to edify the body on the true foundation. Samuel Bettle, Sr., was with us, and expressed his satisfaction in being united with his bi'ethren in religious exer- cise. We agreed to the proposition of the Philadelphia Month- ly Meeting, to open meetings for worship on first-day evening, through the winter. Eleventh month 2d. Our evening meeting was opened, which, considering the wetness of the weather, was large. It was thought to be a good beginning. 5th. The longer I live the more I am convinced, that the gos- pel cannot be preached but as He who hath the key of David reanoints for the woi*k, and furnishes that which quickens the soul, and raises into dominion the precious life in an assembly. 10th. My beloved wife having had for some time a concern to visit the Friends of Exeter and Maiden Creek Meetings, we took the Pottsville car, and being met at Douglassville, by a Friend, were taken by him to J. B.'s. The weather was very fine, the travelling pleasant, and being cordially received by our dear friends, we passed the afternoon and evening to our mutual satisfaction. On the following morning, J. and his wife set out with us for Maiden Creek. 12th. Called to see our aged friend Mary E. Lee, who was confined with an injury received by a fall. We had a religious opportunity in her chamber, and then went to the meeting. My wife was engaged to strengthen the hands of the exercised few there, and to invite the young people to give themselves up to JOURNAL or WILLIAM EVANS. 377 the Lord and his service. Afterwards it was my place to speak to the states of those who were often brought to see they were not what the Lord required them to be, and in whom He raised at times desires that they might die the death of the righteous, and their latter end be like his. The character and example of the righteous were often brought before their view, and they saw their own shortcomings; yet refusing to yield to Divine conviction, they remained unchanged in heart, and the day of mercy was ^Jassing away. These were fervently pleaded with, to yield to the drawings of Divine love, and they would know the nature of the lion to be put off, and that of the lamb to take its place ; old things would be done away, and all things be made new, and all things of God. The opportunity was closed with prayer and thanksgiving. In the afternoon, we rode to E. L.'s, whei'e we parted with our friends J. and M. B. 13th. Attended Exeter Meeting, which was rather larger than nsual ; in which we were both engaged to labor for the encour- agement and growth of the members in the rignt way. I hoped some Divine quickening was felt in both these meetings. Went to the residence of our aged friend John Lee and wife. He is in an afflicted state of body. It afforded us much satisfaction to find our aged friends so alive to the blessed cause, committed in trust to our religious Society ; and they seemed to be refresh- ed as well as ourselves by the visit. 14th. We w^ere brought to the railroad, and reached our home early in the afternoon. 19th. The Monthly Meeting of the Western District, was held to-day, which I was drawn to visit. The company was unusually large ; and after a time of silent waiting, the stirring of the Lord's power was felt, under which I was gradually en- abled to preach the gospel of salvation, through our Lord Jesus Christ ; showing that the work of regeneration had its begin- ning in the heart, through obedience to the manifestations of his Spirit, in little things. Our Saviour thanked the Father that He had hid the things of his kingdom from the wise and prudent, and revealed them unto babes. To be brought into this blessed experience, we must become babes in Christ; and the only way to experience the new birth and change of heart unto righteousness, is by faithfulness to the requisitions of the Divine will, made known in us. Many things were brought forth out of the treasifiy, by Him who alone has the key and 378 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. command of it; and through Divine mercy and condescension* the baptizing and solemnizing power of Christ, went forth over the assembly; to the comfort and strength of the hungry, weary and exercised ones. Oh ! that I may be enabled in humility and abasedness of soul to offer the tribute of thanksgiving and praise to Him who hath all power in his hand ; and to w^alk be- fore Him with increasing fear and reverence, for all his great condescension and unmerited compassion towards me, a poor creature, and towards his church and people. 26th. This afternoon, my wife and myself went to visit a Friend in the country. There is a union of spirit between those who see eye to eye, and their countenances and company are cheering. Where the Son of Peace abides, a harmonious converse can be maintained between fellow travellers on the heavenly journey. Their experiences and their Divine open- ings, with which their mutual Lord and Leader has instructed them, are brought forth from the treasury as things which are new and yet old. Such converse is both entertaining, and, at times, very strengthening, and according with the practice of the earliest disciples. Two of them walked from Jerusalem to Emmaus, talking as they went, of the things which had just transpired. Jesus joined himself to them, and asked, " What manner of communications are these that ye have one to an- other, as ye walk, and are sad?" At a time of singular trial and disappointment, it was natural for them to speak upon that which lay the nearest to their hearts. And so it is now. Dis- ciples of the same Master will commune upon their trials, and the straits and beset nients of the church, as well as upon its hopes and encouraging prospects. Paul talked with his con- temporary believers, on one occasion, until break of day. In old time, when the proud were called happy, and they that worked wickedness were set up, and they that tempted God were delivered ; " Then they that feared the Lord spake often one to another ; and the Lord hearkened and heard it ; and a book of remembrance was written before Him, for them that feared the Lord, and that thought upon his name. And they shall be mine, saith the Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them as a man spareth his OMni son that serveth him." This has been the case with the devo- ted children of God in various ages since that period ; and JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 379 thereby they have consoled one another; and ho that watered, was watered himself. Twelfth month 4th. Both inwardly and outwardly, clouds and darkness have prevailed much. Faith has been put to the test ; but I have endeavored to keep patient, and hope for brighter days. Went to the Arch Street Meeting, and there was a little qualified to unfold the roll written with mourning ; and to set forth, that in these dispensations, the Lord teaches man his own impotence, and that all good comes from Him. The stream of the ministry rose a little, to the helj) of the preacher, and we may hope some others. Came away wdth a thankful heart that mercy and goodness were not yet clean passed away from such a poor creature. 7th. At our meeting yesterday, the administration of con- demnation to those who have been living in sin, was presented, as among the mercies of Him, who willeth not the spiritual death and everlasting separation from the heavenly host, of a single soul which He hath created. " No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous ; nevertheless, after- wards, it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness to them that are exercised thereby." And " Whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth ever}^ son that He receiveth." If we are without chastisement, we are not the true-born sons and daughters of G-od. I endeavored to persuade some to endure these dispensations, that they might receive the gift of repent- ance ; and be restored into Divine fa%^or. I felt encouraged be- fore going to meeting, with a gentle intimation, which I hoped ■was from the Divine Fountain ; that all our trials will be light in comparison with the reward at the end of the journey ; and if they contributed to prepare us for that happy consummation, they should be esteemed as the greatest blessmgs. 14th. First-day of ^he week, one of the most inclement we have had this winter; snow and ice and rain to Avalk through to meeting ; the clouds dark, and the air thick and smoky. Our meeting was larger than we anticipated : silent in the morning ; in the afternoon, a little was expressed, on the necessity of meeting and waiting, not only in a belief of the doctrine, that Christ is in the midst of those who gather in his name, but in feeling after Him, that we may be sensible of the quickening power of his presence ; qualifying us to ask the Father, in his name, for what we have need of The evening assembly was 380 JOURNAL or WILLIAM EVANS, very small ; and before the hour was fully come, the gaslights nearly all suddenly disappeared, owing to the meter becoming covered with water from rain and melting snow. The little company, exco|)t a few wdio went for lamps and candles, kept steady to their places ; the house was again sufficiently lighted, and it was thought by many to be a good meeting. I hope that the Lord was our helper, and that some strength and com- fort were imparted to weary souls, longing for deliverance from sin. 21st. We had a comfortable and solemn meeting this morn- ing; in which the paramount importance of keeping an eye to the eternal recompense of reward ; and, like Moses, choosing to suifer affliction with the people of Grod, rather than enjo}^ the pleasures of sin for a season ; esteeming the reproaches of Christ greater riches than all the treasures of Egypt, was held forth to the meeting. In the evening, we had a peculiarly solemn time; my dear wife being clearly opened on the importance of the min- istry, and the indispensable need of abasedness of the creature, in those engaged in the solemn work ; and was afterwards en- gaged in supplication. We have rarely sat under more solid weight and deep silence, than that in which the meeting was closed. 1846, Third month 14th. We have had i-ather a trying win- ter, fi'om cold and snow, and the great variableness of the wea- ther. It has been so to me in a sjDiritual respect. Clouds of discouragement, and fear of being or getting wrong have hung over me, from day to day ; in part occasioned by the peculiar state of our religious Society, and doubtless also designed to humble the creature, and to produce a more weighty and watch- ful state of mind. If I can but be favored with the protection and guidance of the Holy Spirit, so as to walk with acceptance before the Lord, and to show forth the excellency of the religion of Christ, all these afflictions will be of little moment, except so far as they have contributed to this all-impoi*tant end. In the Second month, I attended Abington Quarterly Meeting- in which I felt much for the trembling and diffident ones, who love the blessed Truth, and desire to do the Divine will, and yet have many fears. To these there appeared to be a word of comfort, and tender invitation to hold fast that which they luul received, and to foIb)w the Master; putting their trust con- stantly in Him ; and a way would be made for them. JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 381 Having a desire to be at Bucks Quai'terly Meeting, my wife and I took stage for New Hope, on the 25th ult., and got that afternoon to our worthy and honorable friend's, Kuth Ely, whose hospitable residence is a pleasant lodging-place for those who love and serve the Lord Jesus. She gave us a very cordial re- ception, as a mother in Israel towards her children. As the stage did not leave the city on third-day, we were not at their Meeting of Ministers and Elders. The meeting for business was a favored opportunity, during the part allotted for Divine worship ; the mourners being cheered and refreshed by the visit and labors of their friends. Eeturned to our resting-place, where we had the company of Christopher Healy, a devoted minister of Christ, and one who feels a deep interest in the doc- trines and testimonies of the gospel held by Friends, having adopted them from convincement of their truth; and" long faith- fully advocated them before small and great. We spent the evening to our mutual comfort. Next day we made two visits to some Friends of Solebury ; and on seventh-day, got back to the city ; the weather cold, and snow falling through the day and that night. The retrospect of the little excursion was peaceful ; it being a duty we owe to aged, experienced Friends, to visit, and, as we are enabled, encourage and animate them in the closing days of their earthly pilgrimage. • Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting being held this week, E. Pit- field, my wife and myself went over to it. That for Ministers and Elders, was to us a low, and rather trying meeting. The cruel enemy is at work in every way he can devise, to lay waste the unity, and all capacity for usefulness in the church, and in the world. We endeavored, according to what we apprehend- ed was required, to warn some, and to strengthen the watchful travailer. The meeting on fifth-day was pretty large, many young and middle-aged Friends being there. My wife and E. Pitfield had acceptable service, while I sat in poverty, exj)ecting to have little to do; but, very unlooked for, the declaration of the pro- phet Jeremiah, in relation to the Jews forsaking the Fountain of living water, and hewing out cisterns that could hold no water, was brought before me. There was a quickening virtue accompanied, and after some waiting, it appeared proper to rise with it, and to declare that it described the cause of all our dif- ficulties. I was led to show the process of the work of regene- 382 JOURNAL or WILLIAM EVANS. ration, commenced by the inshining of the light of Christ in man's dark heart ; its convictions for sin ; and, as yielded to, its making an entire change in him. Nothing could begin and carry on this work, but the Author and Finisher of the saints' faith ; and the Lord would not give his glory to any of man's devices. Nothing is fit to receive the water of life, but regene- rated souls, sanctified vessels in the Lord's house; and if we changed our glory for that which profiteth not ; hewing out cisterns that can hold no water, desolation would overspread the Society. The language of affectionate entreaty was held out to the young people, to enlist under Christ's banner, and to follow Him in the way of the cross. The work is the Lord's, and He alone can carry it on ; before whom we are bound to bow in reverent thankfulness for the least of his mercies, and with prayer and supplication, as the Spirit gives ability, to ask Him for the continuance of his preserving power, and for wis- dom and strength to serve Him, in the gospel of his dear Son. I returned to the city, leaving my wife to make some visits she has had on her mind a long time. Fifth month 7th. This morning I received intelligence of the death of that deep and extraordinarily gifted minister and ser- vant of Christ, Ann Jones, of Stockjjort, England. She visited this couutiy about the period of the separation, in 1827-8, and w^as a sharp threshing instrument in the hand of the Lord, against thespiritof infidelity, then making fearful inroads upon many, under the name of Friends, who knew very little of their principles, or of the sanctifying power of Divine Grace, ruling in their hearts. Her controversy was with the leaders and principals, who were working in the dark, to draw away ig- norant and unwary members, into the mazes of unbelief, and into contempt for the unyielding advocates of Christ's gospel, and his authority in the church. She was one of the most fear- less soldiers in the Lamb's arm}', and b}' his wisdom and strength, was often instrumental in discomfiting the enemies of Christ; while she infused courage and firmness into the hearts of the little flock in different places, on whose shoulders rested with weight, the support of the principles and discipline of the So- ciety. When she informed the Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, that she felt liberated to return home, AVm. Jack- son, of West Grove, cxin-essed his unity with her, and said, she had come amongst us in the same power and spirit with which JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 383 Samuel Fothcrgill visited this countiy, whom he liad heard in the ministiy. Thus one after another of the Lord's anointed servants are gathered to their everhisting rest in Christ ; which is felt to he a great trial in this day of scattering, and of rebellion against the law and the testimony ; the number of valiant and unflinch- ing soldiers seeming to be few in every place. But the Lord is strong and mighty, and in his time will give the victory to his tribulated people, who hold fast their integrity to Him ; trust- ing in his mercy and power, and not in their own understand- ing. 10th. I attended Germantown Meeting. Being first-day, I was pleased to see the number who came; many of them in the prime of life, and younger. I was enabled to plead with some, for greater devotion to the Lord's will ; and to show to others that however humble their lot, or of little importance they might feel themselves to be in the world, there were duties for them to fulfil ; and if they were faithful, they would be regarded by Him who watches over his people ; they would grow from sta- ture to stature, and their example would tend to draw others to the blessed Truth : they would be preachers of righteous- ness, and qualified to stand as witnesses to the doctrines and testimonies which Friends are called to support. Their afflic- tions would be sanctified to them, and through their faithful- ness, there would be ground to hoj)e, that a seed would be pre- served in that place. The compassion of our blessed Saviour, as portrayed by the parable of the householder, who went out at different hours of the day and hired men to labor in his vine- yard, even to the eleventh hour, was held up to the view of some, who had been wasting their precious time until the day is far spent. When he settled with the laborers, he began at the last and went on to the first, giving each the same reward. Showing that w^hile we ought not to presume upon Divine mercy, so we ought not to attempt to limit, or to desjiair of it, when He condescends to place before us, as the handwriting on the wall, our true condition ; and to invite us to leave all and enter with Him into the vineyard of the heart and labor. I thought Divine mercy was near, and that some hearts were con- trited, under a fresh and living sense of it. I returned home with feelings of peacefulness. 14th. Was at the Arch Street week-day meeting. The 384 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. meekness and gentleness of Christ, and the j)atient and unresist- ing endurance of suffering, of which He set us an example, were much upon my mind. The prophet declared that He will not break the bruised reed. He shall not strive nor cry, neither shall any man hear his voice in the streets ; yet He will finally bring forth judgment unto Truth. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so He opened not his mouth. He suffered for our sins, the just for the unjust. It pleased the Father, in bringing many sons to glory, to make the Captain of their salvation perfect through suffer- ings. And the more we are brought to be like Him, the better it will be for us. Whatever is going on around us, it is needful to remember that there is a work for every one to be engaged in within himself It is here we are to know Christ Jesus to be our Saviour, and to give us strength to carry on that work. This is Avhat is greatly wanting within our own religious So- ciety. Many who take part in its concerns, ai-e greatly involved in the world and its pursuits. " The love of money is the root of all evil ; which, while some covet after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows;" erred from that faith which is the saints' victory, and of which Christ is the author. 16th. My dear w^Ifc feeling drawn to attend the meeting at AVest Chester, we left home this morning and reached the vil- lage about eleven o'clock. The weather was fine on first-day ; and a pretty large company collected at the meeting-house. She had acceptable service among them. We* were taken to Westtown School towards evening. Vegetation is now in its most luxuriant state ; the grass, shrubbery and trees, in the boys' and girls' walks, present a freshness and foliage, which make the premises a delightful scene, and contribute to health- fulness and exhilaration of spirits; of no small advantage in the hours of relaxation from study. 18th. From here we went to Concord, where we attended the Quarterly Meeting, and had some service. Sixth month 16th. Feeling a gentle pointing to the North Meeting, I went there this morning. My mind was opened on the preciousness and necessity of unity ; that unity of the S])irit which our Lord spoke of in his prayer to the Almighty Father, for his disciples; "That they all may bo one; as thou. Father, art in. me and I in thee; that they also may be one in us." This JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 385 unity subsists among those who are born of the Spirit, the in- corruptible Seed and Woi*d of God, which liveth and abideth forever. I felt ver}^ desirous that Friends might keep on the watch, against everything that tends to alienate from one an- other ; not being ready to take up unfavorable apprehensions about each other ; but to stand still in the Light, that they may have those things which may grow into a barrier between them, removed ; and their hearts more and more sweetened by Di- Aune love. Samuel Bettle, Sr., closed the meeting with suppli- cation. 21st. Being first-da}'. At our meeting, I was led to extend a renewed call to those who were taking their ease and enjoyment in the comforts of life, and in great danger of forgetting their Heavenly Father, the bountiful Giver of all we have. Some who had set out, with very humble views and desii'es, in rela- tion to earthly possessions, may let go their exercise when things, thi'ough industry, grow lighter, and they are released from the anxiety they once felt about the means of subsistence. When this takes place, the eye which once saw, may be again blinded, and the lively sense they once had of the imjjortance of the cause of Christ, above everything else, may be gradually blunted ; and then when we meet for the solemn act of Divine worship, the things of the world bring a stuj^or over the meeting, and the great object of coming together is almost altogether frustrated in some. I hoped that through the tender mercy of the Shepherd of Israel, there was a little of his quickening power felt. The warning, and yet confiding language of 'the apostle was brought into view, "Oh death, where is thy sting? Oh grave, where is thy victory ? The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." The awful period will ari'ive to every one, when, above everything else, it will be of the utmost consequence to be able in truth, and in our own experience, to adojjt that language. But only through obedience to the Lord Jesus, can we know this victory, and be enabled to thank God for it. 29th. Our beloved friend Hannah L. Smith, a minister, who, previous to her marriage, was a member of the Southern Dis- trict Monthly Meeting, died last week and was buried to-day. Attending the burial, I felt impelled to preach Christ crucified and glorified, and also appearing by his Spirit in the heart. I 386 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. reminded the company, that the period would arrive to them, when, if they had a right understanding, it would be the most desirable thing to realize the testimony of the beloved disciple, that those who had come out of gi-eat tribulation, and washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb, should hunger no more, neither thirst any more, neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat. " For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne, shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters, and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes." This would be of the greatest importance to us at the day of account, whether rich or poor ; and we must all stand before the judgment-seat of Christ, to give an account of the deeds done in the body. Then, all the riches and gratification, the honor and pomp of this world, would be lighter than a fea- ther, in comparison with that exceeding and eternal weight of glory, which would be revealed to the saints in light. I declar- ed that Christ took upon Him the body prepared of the Father, to do his will in, and offered Himself a most holy and satisfac- tory sacrifice for the sins of the world; that He suffered for our sins, the just for the unjust, that lie might bring us to God. But it was only as we opened the door of our hearts and let Him come in ; and witnessed Him to sit as a refiner's fire, and as a fuller with soap, removing all impurity, washing us in the laver of regeneration, and renewing us by his Holy Spirit, that we could know our garments made white in his precious blood, and experience our past sins to be blotted out; having on the wedding garment, and being accepted in Him, the Beloved. I spake from the necessity laid upon me ; my mouth being oj^en- ed almost before I was aware. Seventh month 5th. I felt drawn to attend the Western Meeting, which considering the season, was a pretty large meet- ing. Through Divine condescension, my mind was eai'ly brought into a waiting state; and the expression of our dear Lord was presented before me : " Where I am, there shall my servant be also." This appeai'ed to me applicable to all who serve Him, whatever place they occupy in the church of Christ. " If an}^ man serve me, him will my Father honor." It is a great favor to be with Christ, whether in suffering or rejoicing; but to experience this, we must serve Him daily, by obeying his will manifested unto us by his Spirit. I was favored to accom- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 387 plish the service that appeared to be required, with comfort to myself, and I trust to some who Avere present. 11th. The Monthly Meeting of Upper Evesham occurring on the 11th, my wife and mj'self went to Medford in the stage. We found the spirits of many of the rightly exercised members depressed with the distressing condition of our Society, and with the fathers and mothers among them being few, to watch over and to strengthen those who love the Truth. We Avere intro- duced into sympathy with them, both the older and the middle rank; and through holy help, were enabled to minister to them, in the openings of Divine life. We were refreshed, and rejoiced at the present favor ; they that watered being watered them- selves. The 12th, being first-day, we attended the meeting again ; some not belonging to Friends coming in. My wife first min- istered to them ; and after waiting some time in silence, I was led to hold up the necessity of iuAvard, heart-changing religion, and to caution some against supposing that this work was fin- ished, by yielding to the first visitation ; and against the disad- vantage of talking away the heavenly impressions. After being gi'afted in the Vine, and become fruit-bearing branches, we re- quire frequent purging, to prepare for bringing forth more fruit. We returned home on the 14th, well satisfied with the visit. Eighth month 3d. To-day was held our Quarterly Meeting. A religious weight and solemnity were spread over us, and sev- eral Friends were engaged in the ministry. 13th. My wife having gone to Woodbury to attend the Quar- terly Meeting there, I went down this morning and joined her. It is a small company, but there are some honest, well-concern- ed Friends, who feel the depressed condition of the church, and mourn over the want of a greater number of lively laborers in the good cause. My wife and Eachel Thornton appeared in testimony, and I followed them; bringing to view some of the exhortations of Christ to enter into labor for the bread and the water of life, individually. Many are willing to be fed who are not willing to work ; they are fond of the honej^, but, like the drones in the hive, do not endeavor to gather it. This easy, lethargic disposition, is robbing the Society of strength, and landing those who are overtaken with it, in spiritual death, and alienation from the Lord of life and glory. My wife closed the meeting with solemn supplication, that our Heavenly Father 388 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. would grant some token of his love and remembrance of his suflFering children ; and renew and strengthen their faith, which seems at times to be greatly reduced. In the afternoon, we visited our friend Joseph Whitall, who is in such a reduced state of health as not to be able to go to meeting. We returned to our peaceful home next morning. 18th. Was at the North Meeting; in which great weakness was the clothing of my mind, for some time after sitting down with them. But the Lord condescended to my low estate ; and out of weakness I was enabled, by his strength, to declare his goodness and mercy to them that love and serve Him. The testimony of David was revived, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures ; He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul ; He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me ; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." It was a good day. 19th. Having a gentle draft to the Western Quarterly Meet- ing, my friend J. S. took me to London Grove. On our way we called at Westtown School, took tea, and rode to B. S.'s, where we were kindly received. 20th. Fifth-day morning. The Select Meeting was a small body, having but one man and one woman acknowledged as ministers. There was a word of encouragement for the upright but tried few, among them. Being quite unwell, the humbling hand of the Lord seemed to be upon me, yet patience and strength were granted to bear up. In the meeting, next day, David Cope delivered a testimony to the unchangeable charac- ter of the conditions of salvation. That through Grace, man may comply with them, and partake of the blessings of the gos- pel. If he refuses, the truth will remain the same, and he must take the consequences of his disobedience. The great spread and influence of the spirit and principles of infidelity, and the danger of living in its atmosphere, came before me. Great sub- tlety and sophistry are used by some of talents, to lay waste the Holy Scriptures, and into a fearful pit of death and darkness they sometimes plunge themselves. But they cannot destroy or change the truth of God; the consequences of their wilful unbelief will fall on themselves. Living among such people is dangerous ; their example and their dark spirits tend to produce JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 389 indifference to religion ; and some who turn their buck upon the Truth, go into the politics and policies of the world; others int»_ the love and pursuit of money ; others into the pleasures and gratifications of time and sense. In this way we are surround- ed by dangers of various kinds, out of which nothing can pre- serve us, but obedience to the secret illuminations of the Spirit of Christ ; showing us what we are, and what we are to for- sake, that we may be made by Him what He would have us to be. As Ave follow Him, our example will be a constant j^rotest against the unbelief and the lethargy surrounding us; and thus we shall be more likely to put a stop to its progress, than by any arguments we can advance against the principles of the in- fidel, or the mere man of the world. 1 thought some renewed ability was given to speak to the states of the people, and solem- nity spread over the meeting. Ninth month 8th. I have passed most of our meetings for months in silence ; and not unfrequently without much evidence of the stirrings of Divine life, and the mantle of sorrow and mourning has been the covering of my spirit. Last fourth-day it seemed to be my duty to say some close things to those who were laying up treasures for themselves, and making use of the outward blessings of a beneficent Providence, to gratify and exalt themselves ; that they might appear grand and be highly thought of bj^ others ; instead of looking upon themselves as stewards, and accountable for the right appropriation of their earthly substance. Such were advised to put away their jewels and their ornaments out of sight, and repair to Bethel, to renew their covenants with the Lord. Little relief, however, seemed to follow, but if it is of the Lord, He will reward for faithful- ness. 13th. A day of inward conflict and of mourning, on account of the absence of the Beloved of souls. In the afternoon, there was some ability to look towards the Lord's holy temple, with hope that his sustaining power was not withdrawn. 14th. I had thought of Haddonfield Monthly Meeting yes- terday, but with no expectation of going to it ; yet this morn- ing, on rising, it came before me with some quickening effect; and after breakfasting, feeling afraid to put from me what seemed to be a pointing to that meeting, I crossed the river, and took stage for the place, and got there while Friends were con- vening. After a season of inward waiting upon the Lord, I 26 390 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. was drawn forth to speak of the trial of faith, which is more precious than gold, that perisheth, though it be tried in the fire ; that we may experience everything opposed to heavenly purity removed ; and after the refinement for the time is passed through, Avitness the lifting up of the light of the Glorious Countenance upon us. Encouragement was communicated to exercised members among them, to put their trust in nim, in whom there is everlasting strength, and follow Ilim faithfully. Others were warned against engaging in any cause under a re- ligious profession which is not the Lord's cause ; and those who, at times, are brought under conviction by the internal discove- ries of the Light of Christ, were affectionately and fervently solicited to give up to the heavenly vision, which is not at their command. These days of the Son of Man, in which by his grace. He brings salvation to us, and calls on us to deny ungod- liness and the world's lusts, and to live soberly, and righteously, and godly in the world, the Father hath reserved in his own hand. I felt constrained to bow the knee, and to commemorate the Lord's goodness, in visiting and bringing us out of darkness into his light, and to implore the continued extension of his protecting power to the end of our earthly pilgrimage ; that through the blood of Christ, and the sanctification of the Sjiirit, we might, in the end, be permitted to enter the glorious king- dom of everlasting rest. Some hearts were touched and com- forted ; and though I felt empty, I hoped it was in the way of duty. Returned home in the evening. Tenth month Ist. My wife, my sister H. Rhoads, and my- self, attended Goshen Monthly Meeting ; it was a solid meeting, in which the spring of gospel ministry was opened in several, to our mutual comfort and strength. 19th. The Friends appointed by the Meeting for Sufferings, to examine certain doctrinal works, which have given the So- ciety much uneasiness and disturbance, convened at three o'clock this afternoon. They were favored witii a covering of religious weight and solemnity; and after a time of silent waiting, the minute of their appointment was read. Friends deliberately expressed their views, of the course proper to be taken, in the investigation, in which there appeared and was felt much har- mony ; after which, some Friends were named to enter upon the work, and draw up such a document as would show the dis- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 391 agreement of many parts of those works, with the doctrines ever held by the Society. 29th. Went to Newtown Meeting, where I found a small company assembled, , for the purpose of Divine worship; and having been for many days in a low state, I was prepared by the good hand of the Lord, to enter into sympathy with them. They appeared to need encouragement, and also to be stirred up to a more fervent travail of spirit, that they might know the work of regeneration to be progressing in themselves. Through the humbling, quickening power of Him, who is the resurrec- tion and the life, I was enabled to visit the precious seed, kept down in some hearts, and not enough cherished in others ; and I believe it was in some of them, raised into dominion in good degree. We were humbled and tendered together, and thanks- giving was secretly offered for the favor vouchsafed. Eleventh month 1st. Was opened our evening meeting for the winter. I was engaged towards the close, to warn our young people, in the love of the gospel, of the many snares which the enemy is spreading to entangle them ; and to persuade them to yield to the convictions of the grace of their Eedeemer; that they might escape the remorse which the disobedient and impenitent bring upon themselves. 2d. The Quarterly Meeting for Discipline was a season of much inward conflict. 3d. Feeling an impression of religious duty to attend Stan- ford Quarterly Meeting in New York, I mentioned the subject to the Monthly Meeting, which gave me a minute of its unity, to visit that and the meetings composing it. My dear friend Joseph Snowden, agreeing to accompany me, we took passage to New York ; but owing to the fog on the Delaware, we were detained nearly two and a half hours, and did not get into the city much before one o'clock in the morning. Lodged at a public hotel, and took the seven o'clock boat on the North Eiver. We landed at Poughkeepsie, a little before one o'clock ; dined, and towards evening left for S. Upton's. On the 5th we went to the Select Meeting, which in some re- spects, was rather a trying time. 6th. Attended the Meeting for Discipline. After several communications and a time of silence, I believed it my place to call the attention of some to the inw^ard work of religion, inviting the young and the middle-aged to come under the yoke of Christ; 392 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. and encouraging the tribulated ones who had experienced the work in good measure, to look to the Lord alone, who would preserve all such in their deepest trials, and in his time make a way for them, and for his church to surmount them all. It was laborious at first, but the life rose finally into some good do- minion. In the second meeting, towards the close, I felt en- gaged to exhort the upright heai-ted to support the discipline, and our testimonies and doctrines, in the wisdom and strength which Christ alone gives. Eeturned to S. Upton's, and next day visited two Friend's families ; having religious opportuni- ties in both. 8th. First-day morning we went to the Creek Meeting, where a pretty large company assembled. For some time I sat under fear, that some were more disposed to hear words, than to get the mind withdrawn from things without, and centred upon the Lord alone. I was led to remind them that the great object of our thus assembling, was to feel after Him, as the apos- tle expresses, if haply we may find Him, who is not far from every one of us, for in Him we live, and move, and have our being. Many subjects were gradually opened before me; among which was the conscientious strictness which the Lord requires, even from the earliest visitations of his love and power, to per- form our moral duties justly, and uprightly, as in his presence. This I could testify from experience, after I was brought to sub- mit to his grace. The humbling power of the Lord came over us, so that some were tendered by its heavenly influence. Dined at Paul Upton's, and a meeting being apjiointed at three o'clock, at Stanford, we rode over, but were a little belated. There were a number of persons not professing with us, besides Friends, who were assembled. The importance of a careful edu- cation of their children, imbuing their minds with a love for the truths of Holy Scripture, enforced by example, and a solid concern for their everlasting welfare, presented to my mind, with the instance of Timothj^. The apostle mentioned to him the unfeigned faith which dwelt in his grandmother Lois, and his mother Eunice, and he was persuaded at that time, in him also. They had been, no doubt, watchful over him from early life. From a child, says the apostle, thou hast known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salva- tion through faitli, which is in Christ Jesus. This shows the benefit which godly parents, who are in the true faith them- JOURNAL OF \A'ILLIAM EVANS. 393 selves, may be to their offspring, in bringing them up in the I'ight way of the Lord, and be instrumental in guarding them from many evils. One very serious danger arises from the so- ciety of those who undervalue, and endeavor to destroy the authority of the Holy Scriptures, and to poison the young people with their sophistry. I felt bound to warn parents and guardians solemnly against permitting the children entrusted to them to mingle with such society ; from which they might suffer irreparable injury. It is not often I have felt more sensi- bly, the necessity of closely watching against the insidious ap- proaches of the spirit of infidelity; which is like the poison of asps under the tongues of some hai'dened, darkened people ; and that the elderly part of society may be instrumental in leading the young people to Christ; that they maybe pi'eserved, and through the operation of his Divine power on their minds, may grow up in good liking before Him, and in their day, be fitted for and engaged to advocate his precious cause on the earth. We lodged at our ancient friend J. F. Hull's hospitable residence, where we had the company of some Friends, and a religious op- portunity before retiring to rest. 9th. Second-day. Our beloved friend Paul Upton, took us to North East, where we had an appointed meeting, which my companion thought was a good time ; the meeting ending in supplication for the little flock, and our mutual preservation to the close of our earthly pilgrimage. 10th. Attended a meeting appointed at the Creek, by a Friend from Vermont, in which I was silent. In the afternoon, Smith Upton took us to visit several Friends, with two of whom we had religious opportunities. 11th. Went to S. M.'s, near Hudson, where we lodged, and were very kindly and comfortably accommodated. Next day, were at their usual week-day meeting. After a Friend travelling with a minute, had relieved his mind, I felt drawn to encourage the few mourning, and often desolate ones there, to individual faithfulness, in the work of their soul's salvation ; by which they would be prepared to lead others in the right way; and to uphold the doctrines and testimonies held by Friends, by consist- ent lives and conversation. Some who were deeply immersed in the spirit and pursuit of the woi'ld, its riches or its applause, were pleaded with to come out of those things. They were re- minded of the uncertainty of all earthly gratifications, by the 394 JOURNAL OF AVILLIAM EVANS. instance which our blessed Saviour gives, of the man who, after building storehouses and barns, to contain his goods, said, " Soul, thou hast much goods laid up in store for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry. But Clod said unto him, thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee, then ■whose shall those things be which thou hast provided." It ap- peared to me there were those present who had great need to lay these things to heart, and to seek the Lord while the day of mercy lasts, lest the night overtake them, in which no man can work. J. W. knelt and supplicated, that the word preached might not return void of the purpose whereunto it was sent. 13th. This morning, S. M. took us to Hudson, and crossing the river at Athens, we found our friend L. B., waiting for us; with whom w^e rode to his house at Coemans. His residence is on elevated ground, from which we have a very extensive prospect ; the Catskill Mountains in the south, farms and vil- lages on the North Eiver for several miles, and a part of Massa- chusetts, and I believe, of Connecticut, in the east. We had an interesting visit there, and on the following morning a religious opportunity with the family ; and then rode over to his father's. On our way thither we made a visit to two aged Friends ; the man is in his eighty-seventh year, and his wife, in her eight}-- eighth ; but her faculties appeared clear ; they have been married sixty-five years. She is a minister, lively in spirit, and expressed that she was glad to see us, and considered it an evidence she was not forgotten of her Heavenly Father. After dinner, and before we came away, I mentioned the satisfaction it afforded, to meet with one who kept her integrity, and her interest in the great cause, to so late a period of life. It was clear to me, that the covenant of life, and of peace, with such dedicated and innocent spirited ones, would not be broken; but the tender regard, of their Heavenly Father, would be extended to them to the end. I attended their meeting, and being first-day, it was large. I was, after a time, enabled to stand up, and to show there was much profession of religion, and much talk about it, without knowing the power of it ruling in the heart. Many things relating to this internal work, the offers of Divine mercy, through our Lord Jesus Christ ; the possibility of out-living the day of grace, and the awful consequences of d^-ing in sin, were opened to the people, and the meeting ended satisfactorily. Thence JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 395 we were taken to Coxsaekie, where we went on board one of the Albany steamboats, and got to New York in the night. It rained hard, but we went to the Philadelphia steamer, between five and six o'clock, and reached our own homes about twelve o'clock ; thankful for preservation, and the peace I was favored with ; finding my beloved family in health and comfort of mind. CHAPTEE XIX, 1846—1847. Trial of Faith — Attendance at Various Meetings — Yearly Meeting of 1847 — Work about Home — Second Religious Visit to North Carolina. 1846, Twelfth month 21st. I have been let down into a low state, so that faith seemed ready to fail. These dispensations of the withdrawing of all sense of Divine good, have a very reducing effect upon self-importance ; and teach us true charity and tenderness towards those who are in aftliction, and those who may be wrong. I was brought to- cry for mercy, and then to examine whether 1 had desired that mercy might be showed to others, as I desired it shown to myself. I believe I have craved it even for many, who I apprehended, had neither been nor done what they ought. But this state of seemingly entire desertion by our Heavenly Father, is a bitter cup to drink. May I be more humble, more steadily fearful of getting off the watch unto praj^er, and more constant in resisting a light spirit, which would take its ease and indulgence on the sabbath day. We cannot pray when we please, but it is our duty to watch, and to wait for the pouring forth of the spirit of supplication, which produces a broken heart, and a contrite spirit ; and enables us to cry availingly to God for mercy, and for help to keep us from falling, through his dear Son, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. 1847, First month. Some things have arisen, increasing the difficulties of the present time, and the weight which the bur- 396 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. den-bearers have to support. Some are actuated by party feel- ings, and seem little to regard what affliction they add to those who stand for the cause and the testimonies of Christ. The number who heartily devote themselves to service and to suffer- ings, in these perilous times, is comparatively few. Many are afraid of their name among men, and of being identified with the despised suffering seed. All qualification for the ministry has been much withdrawn, and when I had some secret, yet al- most obscure intimation of the kind, I felt afraid of standing forth, lest I should fail ; and w^hen I did give up, in fear, I was as one who had attempted to walk, and was in danger of falling, but I had some reason to believe, that in this season of weak- ness and timidity, the sense which some others had of it, tended to contrite and humble them. Strength and confidence in that everlasting Arm, which is the unfailing support of the Lord's baptized and devoted servants, were gradually restored ; and the spring of the ministry was again opened, and things new and old, given me to declare to others, in the fresh authority and power of the unchanging Truth. 10th. In our evening meeting, the essential imj^ortance of knowing the Lord Jesus revealed in our own hearts, and not only believing in the record of the Holy Scripture, in relation to his coming and suffering in the flesh, but also receiving Him in his spiritual, inward appearance, to break every yoke, and pre- pare the soul for the Lord God, by his spirit, to dwell in, was opened and enforced. Many can sa}^ much respecting Him, and what He has done for us, without us, who yet seem determined to keep Him without them ; while they judge and condemn those who plead for the inward and spiritual knowledge of God and Christ, as well as for a full belief of all that He has done for us, in the prepared body ; and as our Mediator and Inter- cessor M'ith the Father. 15th. Was held our Meeting for Sufferings, in which a me- morial addressed to both Houses of Congress, against war, was adopted, and the committee nominated to prepare it, was direct- ed to have it presented ; which w^as accordingly done. 26th. This morning in the silence, after reading to my fami- ly in the New Testament, the Master, in tender mercy, drew near, and renewed my faith in Him, and in his unfailing good- ness; so that I was enabled to adopt in secret the language of his disciples, "Now we believe and are sure that thou art that JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 337 Christ, the Son of the living God." Hereby we know that He is the author of all true and saving faith; when He mauifesta Himself to us, after seasons of great desertion, and clothes us afresh with it ; so that we are made sure that it is He and not another; the immutable Eock which will sustain all who are built up by Him on it. Oh that I may be favored so to live aa to continue to be a partaker of such marks of Divine mercy and kindness. Second month 1st. Our Quarterly Meeting was a season of inward suffering; the spring of Divine life not being felt to flow amongst us, to the solacing and cheering of the hearts of the burden-bearers. 3d and 4th. My wife and myself attended Abington Quar- terly Meeting, held at Germantown, Avhich is a small company, particularly the select meeting. To the members who compose this small body, the language of encouragement was extended ; and in the meeting for discipline of the general meeting, I was enabled to invite the young men to be faithful to the manifesta- tions of the Light of Christ, and they would feel themselves bound to maintain the doctrines and testimonies of the gospel held by Friends, wherever they went, both great and small. Hereby they would be prepared for service in the church, and be constrained in our meetings for discipline, to speak a word in the authority of Truth, at the Master's bidding, to the busi- ness before their meetings. They would feel it a religious duty to suj)port the discipline, and to stand for the blessed cause, en- trusted to our Society to ujjhold in the world. Third month. On the 28th, being first-day, I went to the ^Northern District Meeting, feeling a particular draft there ; and was led to treat upon the beginning and growth of true religion in the heart ; which is through obedience to the requisitions of the blessed Saviour, made known thei'e. Also to show the be- numbing. stuj)ef3"ing effects of a constant pursuit of riches ; in which the extraordinary talents bestowed upon man, by an all- wise and beneficent Creator, are prostituted to inferior objects ; 80 that he finally loves and serves the creature, himself and his temporal acquisitions, instead of the Creator. Thus the great and noble purpose for which he was made, to glorify God, is lost sight of, and altogether neglected. There was also a cup of consolation and encouragement to the sincere in heart, to keep their trust in the Lord alone ; who never was foiled in battle ; 398 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. but whose omnipotent firm is round tibout to preserve, and will carry through and over all opposition, those who look to and confide in, and follow Ilim faithful!}" to the end. 31st. I attended the Western District Meeting ; and after some time of silent waiting, it opened to me, to show the way by which we come to obtain peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ; to wit, by denying ourselves, taking up the cross, and obeying his commands, as He makes them known to us by hia Spirit. No device of ours will be taken as a substi- tute. God will not give his glory to any other, but to his well- beloved Son, whom He hath given for salvation to the end of the earth ; and if we are saved, it will be by Him, and that by doing his will. To these He gives the reward of true peace, for every sacrifice and service, which is performed by his direction. The Lord helped me, by his saving strength, to preach the gos- pel of life and salvation, through Christ Jesus, both in the flesh as He walked among men, and in the Spirit, as He appears in our hearts by his light and grace, to the tendering of some present, and to my own peace and comfort. Blessed forever be his great and glorious name and power! He still condescends to the low estate of his poor unworthy creatures; lifts them up at times out of their depressed conditions ; gives them the oil of joy for mourning, and shows to them, that He has not forgotten to be gracious ; unworthy as they are of the least of his mercies. Fourth month 12th. Yesterday morning my wife and myself went to Wilmington, to attend the funeral of our late beloved friend John Bullock, who died suddenly with apoplexy. He had of latter years become increasingly valuable to his friends, and to religious society ; his removal is a great afiliction to his relatives, and trial to the meeting there. We felt deeply for them, and in much sympathy, believed it right to be at their meeting, on first-day, as well as to pay the last respect to the memory of our worthy friend. Both morning and afternoon meetings were favored opportunities ; many hearts being hum- bled and contrited, under a renewed sense of the Lord's mercy and tender compassion, even towards the rebellious. The honest, exercised remnant there, on whom much weight rests, for the sake of the cause and testimony of their God, were com- forted, and a little strengthened in the hope that He will not cast them off, or forsake his people, though He permits them to be closely proven in the removal of dear fellow helpers. We JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 399 had cause to bless bis boly name, for tbe evidence wbicb lie gave, that He grants the immediate help and strength of his Spirit, and puts words into the mouths of his servants, to speak to the people, in his authority, and to their refreshment; at- tended with the conviction that they are handed from tbe Lord's treasury. 26th. Our Yearly Meeting was held last week. I believe tbe Lord wrought for his faithful, dedicated children, and brought them through, to his honor, and to their comfort and humiliation. Tbe reading of tbe document containing an exposition of er- roneous passages from the works of two writers in England, with the other minutes of the Meeting for Suiferings, occupied all third-day and part of fourth-day morning. Soon after fin- ishing, the manifestation of unity commenced, and a large num- ber expressed their satisfaction with tbe document. Opposition to it was, however, made by some ; to which little reply was oflFered, except so far as to explain some facts, which were mis- stated, in order to make clear tbe right of tbe Meeting for Suf- ferings, to prepare tbe exposition ; and that it was called for, in defence of our religious principles, and in defence of our own Yearly Meeting ; inasmuch as we had been frequently calling tbe attention of Friends in England to those writings, as con- taining sentiments inimical to tbe faith of Friends. Much patience and deliberation were manifested by those who united with the document. Many, as they had opportunit}', seriously gave their voices in favor of it, after listening to the objections which Avere made. Friends in favor of the meeting sanctioning it, spoke in a decided and serious manner; and evidence was given, that it was the prevailing, solid sense of tbe meeting, it should be adopted ; and a minute to that effect was made; to which, at the last, little opposition was offered ; and the meet- ing, in a short time, settled down in a quiet and peaceful feel- ing; which satisfied many that it was owned by tbe Head of the church. To tbose who have been long burtbened with the unsound opinions in these books, it was a great relief that tbe meeting was enabled to come to this decision ; and they be- lieved it was to be attributed to the superintendence and control- ling power of tbe Blessed Head of tbe church; and humble gratitude clothed their spirits. The remaining business of the 400 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. meeting was conducted with solidity, and brought to a close, under feelings of solemnity. Fifth month 13th. I attended Salem Quarterly Meeting, and felt my mind clothed with very affectionate desires, that all might be kept under a fervent travail of spirit, and thereby become fruit-bearing branches of the true Vine, to the praise of the Great Husbandman. The language of sympathy and en- couragement flowed to the true burden bearers, whose faith is proved, and great poverty of spirit their jjortion. And the young peoj^le were addressed in the language of jDersuasion, to obey the requiriugs of the Shepherd of the sheep, and turn their backs to the temptations of Satan, take up the cross and follow Christ ; who would prepare them to shine as lights, and to exalt and honor his name and glorious cause in the earth. It was a time of favor from the Lord, whose mercies are new every morning ; though we are often withheld from perceiving them. I returned home on sixth-dajMnorning, the 14th, with a peaceful mind, replenished with a fresh sense of the benefits of mingling with our distant friends at the Lord's bidding; in which the invisible fellowship is strengthened and revived. • Since this visit, I have been wading along under discourag- ing prospects of the condition of the Society, and with but little ability administered, to draw near to the inexhaustible Foun- tain, either in or out of meeting. This has excited desires for increasing watchfulness, and solid demeanor before all. Sixth month 1st. My wife and myself went early this morn- ing to Woodbur}-, and attended their Monthly Meeting ; in which both of us had some service. 8th. After calling at the recent residence of our cousin Ann Scattergood, who died the preceding evening ; I went to the ]S"orthcrn District Meeting, and sitting under much poverty of spirit, even while a dear Friend was engaged in the ministry ; there seemed finally to be a little quickening virtue felt, under which I was engaged to bear testimony to the sufficiency of the everlasting Shepherd and Captain of salvation, to carry on the work, in and throngh his faithful children, to the end of their heavenly journey. " Oh that [my people] were wise, that they understood this, that they would consider their latter end ! How should one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight, except their Eock had sold them and the Lord had shut them up." The daily consideration of our L.tter end, tends to give JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 401 US a proper estimatoof things under the sun; even the coinforts and accommodations with which we are surrounded ; and at the same time, to centre our thoughts and affections upon that eter- nal weight of glory, which is to be hereafter revealed to the steadfast followers of the Lamb. I thought the Lord mercifully granted a little fresh ability to advocate his cause ; which is dignified with immortality, and crowned with eternal life, and to hand a morsel of bread to comfort some weary travellers. 29th. This morning my dear wife and myself left for Green- wich, iSTew Jersey. The w^eather was warm, but being in a fast- moving boat, we had a pleasant breeze ; and from the upper deck, the view of the islands, and the scenery along the shores of Delaware and New Jersey, with the great expanse of water below Eeedy Island, made the trip very pleasant and refresh- ing. Our beloved cousins, George and Naomi Bacon, with other Friends, received us with much cordiality. We attended their Monthly Meeting on fifth-day. In the meeting we had some service to the exaltation of the name, and goodness of our God ; who watches over, preserves and provides for those who give themselves up to his requirings ; both in temporals and spirituals. The hearts of some were contrited and comfort- ed, in a reverent sense of the Lord's mercy and kindness, still extended to us, an unworthy people ; though there are, perhaps, in every meeting, those preserved alive in the Truth, and, I hope, growing in it. On first-da}', we attended the meeting at Salem ; in which my dear wife was di'awn forth, in fellow feeling with some who were partaking of bitter trials, so as, at times, to feel life almost a burthen, and to desire a release ; but she said she believed if their sufferings were rightly borne, they would, under the Di- vine blessing, prove a means for the sanctification of the soul. The language of sympathy and encouragement, through her, had a tendering effect ; and I have no doubt, met with an an- swer of, so be it, in some hearts. I was engaged to call the at- tention of some to the importance of showing their love to Christ Jesus, in whom we profess to believe, by keeping his word, and the commands He gives us to obe}". It seems to be an easy matter, in this day of great biblical knowledge, to make a high profession of belief in Christ; and for people to think themselves justified by this belief; but it will avail little to those who do not keep his word in their hearts, and bring forth the fruits 400 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. meeting was conducted with solidity, and brought to a close, under feelings of solemnity. Fifth month 13th. I attended Salem Quarterly Meeting, and felt my mind clothed with very affectionate desires, that all might be kej^t under a fervent travail of sjiirit, and thereby become fruit-bearing branches of the true Vine, to the praise of the Gi'eat Husbandman. The language of sympathy and en- couragement flowed to the true burden bearers, whose faith is proved, and great poverty of spirit their portion. And the young people were addressed in the language of persuasion, to obey the requirings of the Shepherd of the sheep, and turn their backs to the temptations of Satan, take up the cross and follow Christ ; who would prepare them to shine as lights, and to exalt and honor his name and glorious cause in the earth. It was a time of favor from the Lord, whose mercies are new every morning ; though we are often withheld from perceiving them. I returned home on sixth-da}" morning, the 14th, with a peaceful mind, replenished with a fi-esh sense of the benefits of mingling with our distant friends at the Lord's bidding; in which the invisible fellowshi]) is strengthened and revived. ■ Since this visit, I have been wading along vinder discourag- ing prospects of the condition of the Society, and with but little ability administered, to draw near to the inexhaustible Foun- tain, either in or out of meeting. This has excited desires for increasing watchfulness, and solid demeanor before all. Sixth month 1st. My wife and myself went early this morn- ing to Woodburj^, and attended their Monthly Meeting ; in which both of us had some service. 8th. After calling at the recent residence of our cousin Ann Scattergood, who died the preceding evening ; I went to the Northern District Meeting, and sitting under much poverty of spirit, even while a dear Friend was engaged in the ministry ; there seemed finally to be a little quickening virtue felt, under which I was engaged to bear testimony to the sufficiency of the everlasting Shepherd and Captain of salvation, to carry on the work, in and through his faithful children, to the end of their heavenly journey. "Oh that [my people] were wise, that they understood this, that they would consider their latter end ! How should one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to fiight, except their Eock had sold them and the Lord had shut them up." The daily consideration of our h.ttcr end, tends to give JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 401 US a proper estiniateof things under the sun; even the comforts and accommodations with which we are surrounded ; and at the same time, to centre our thoughts and affections upon that eter- nal weight of gloiy, which is to be hereafter revealed to the steadfast followers of the Lamb. I thought the Lord mercifully- granted a little fresh ability to advocate his cause ; w^hich is dignified with immortality, and crowned with eternal life, and to baud a morsel of bread to comfoi't some weary travellers. 29th. This morning my dear wife and myself left for Green- wich, New Jersey. The weather was warm, but being in a fast- moving boat, we had a pleasant breeze ; and from the uj)per deck, the view of the islands, and the scenery along the shores of Delaware and New Jersey, with the great expanse of water below Reedy Island, made the trip veiy pleasant and refresh- ing. Our beloved coiisins, George and Naomi Bacon, with other Friends, received us with much cordiality. "We attended their Monthly Meeting on fifth-day. In the meeting we had some service to the exaltation of the name, and goodness of our God ; who w^atches over, preserves and provides for those who give themselves uj) to his requirings ; both in temporals and spirituals. The hearts of some were contrited and comfort- ed, in a reverent sense of the Lord's mercy and kindness, still extended to us, an unworthy people ; though there are, perhaps, in every meeting, those preserved alive in the Truth, and, I hope, growling in it. On first-da}^, we attended the meeting at Salem ; in which my dear wife was drawn forth, in felloM^ feeling with some who were partaking of bitter trials, so as, at times, to feel life almost a burthen, and to desire a release; but she said she believed if their sufferings were rightly borne, they would, under the Di- vine blessing, prove a means for the sanctification of the soul. The language of sympathy and encouragement, through her, had a tendering effect ; and I have no doubt, met with an an- swer of, so be it, in some hearts. I was engaged to call the at- tention of some to the importance of showing their love to Christ Jesus, in whom we profess to believe, by keeping his word, and the commands He gives us to obey. It seems to be an easy matter, in this day of great biblical knowledge, to make a high profession of belief in Christ; and forjieople to think themselves justified by this belief; but it will avail little to those who do not keep his word in their hearts, and bring forth the fruits 402 JOURXAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. thereof, to the praise of our Heavenly Father. " If a man love me," said our blessed Lord, "he will keep my words; and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him." It is thus only that we can witness the love of God shed abroad in our hearts ; and through the Holy Spirit, hold communion with the Father, and with his dear Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. My beloved wife concluded the meeting with solemn supplication. In the afternoon we visited two aged Friends, to one of whom she spoke encouragingly. Seventh month 5th. We took the steamboat for home, feel- ing satisfied with the little visit, and hoping that although what was done was in weakness and fear, it would tend to the strength- ening of the good in some. 13th. Was at the North Meeting; in which Ezekiel's vision of the dry bones in the valley, which were very dry, w^as brought before me. It seemed not only to represent the state of many of the house of Israel, who were very destitute of the love and life of God in their hearts , but also the condition of those who were baptized for the dead, and who, at times, such was their sti'ipped and destitute condition, as to the sensible feeling of the life-giving presence of the Lord, were ready to doubt whether they would ever again experience it, and be enabled to stand be- fore Ilim with acceptance. Yet He, who is the resurrection and the life, can and does breathe on bones whose energ}* is depart- ed, clothe them as with sinews and flesh, and breathe into them the breath of life, and raise them up as an army for his service. I hope a little of his quickening virtue was felt among us this day. 16th. Our Meeting for Sufferings having adjourned to this time, forty-seven members convened ; and the committee to whom had been referred, by the Yearly Meeting, the document upon the unsound doctrines, now reported a few alterations, which were read to the meeting, and adopted. None of them abated the force, or varied the character of this testimony for the truth of our ancient doctrines. There was a very united and solemn feeling over the meeting ; but two members dissent- ing from the publication of it. Christopher Ilealy and Ezra Comfort bore lively testimonies to the sweetness of the covering spread over us ; and though one of them seemed to foresee fur- ther close trials awaiting the church, they both believed as Friends kept steadfast to the Truth, victory would finally be JOLRNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 403 obtained over that spirit -which is seeking to lay waste our precious faith. I hope that the Appeal put forth for the An- cient Doctrines will be blessed, to the comfort and settlement of many in the right way of the Lord. Eighth month 18th. Of latter time being under much exer- cise, and at seasons clothed with many fears, I have had little call ojjenly to speak in the assemblies of the Lord's people ; and when I have believed mj'self constrained to stand forth on be- half of my gracious Lord and Master and his cause, it has been in but few words, yet attended with the evidence of being rightly authorized, by his peace shed abroad in my mind. To-day 1 felt called on to bear testimony, that He, who gave his disciples power over all the power of the enemy, so that nothing should b}' any means offend or harm them, was still with his faithful, devoted children ; and according to their respective conditions, growths and services in the church, would give them power over all the power of the enemy, in the various assaults and temptations with which he may be permitted to buifet them; if on their part, they keep iaithful to Ilim. Christ only knows the depth of baptism needful for the humiliation and re- finement of his disciples ; and if they hold fast the grain of faith, which will never be entirely taken from them, in his time, He will appear to them, as the resurrection and the life ; renew their faith, and grant an evidence, that their feet are upon the Eock of ages, the sure foundation, against which the gates of hell cannot prevail. 19th. I went to Haddonfield, and attended that meeting; in which I was drawn forth to say close things to some, who were doing despite to the offers of Divine love and mercy to them : who had become like the heath in the desert, in a dry and barren soil ; not partaking of the water of life, by which alone the soul can be kept alive unto God ; and such is their insensi- bility, that they know not when good cometh. These were pleaded with, to lay these things solemnly to heart ; for the time was fast approaching, when the awful message would be sounded in their ear, "Steward, give an account of thy steward- ship, for thou mayest be no longer steward." Also the fearful, trembling followers of Christ, were encouraged to keep the faith ; for in his time He would shed abroad his peace in their hearts, and grant an evidence of his acceptance and appro- 404 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. bation. Called upon a few Friends, and returned home in peace. 26th. My wife and myself attended Plymouth Meeting ; in which the Master employed us in his Avork, both for the warn- ing of those who are in danger of being swallowed up with the spirit of the world, and in comforting and strengthening the feeble and weary, who love the Truth, and desire its prosjjerity more than anything beside. Ninth month 17th. The Meeting for Sufferings, which met to-daj^, was large. The exposed condition of the free colored population of our State, was considered, and referred to a com- mittee on slavery. The meeting agreed to stereotype Eobert Barclay's Apology for the true Christian Divinity, as believed by Friends. 26th. First-day. I went to meeting this moi-ning, humbled under a sense of the many snares and dangers which surround all, especially young people ; and my soul was poured forth in mental, fervent supplication to the Lord, that He would be pleased to preserve my dear children in purity, and in a state of acceptance with Him. I renounced all desire for riches or worldly greatness, and craved that He would make them his by adoption, and prepare them for his kingdom. Tenth month 2d. In consequence of using an expresssion un- dignified, and betraying a want of watchfulness, mortification and abasedness were my clothing. There is nothing pertaining to us to glory in — nothing we can glory in — save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which we are crucified to the world, and the world unto us; and when every wrong thing in us, is crucified and made subject to the dominion of Christ, then we have good cause to give glory to the power and goodness by which we are subjected to Him. 10th. Friends and others are returning from their country residences, by which our meeting is enlarged. That love, which leads to desire the everlasting welfare of souls, covered the hearts of some, and a renewed qualification was granted to invite all to faithfulness, in obeying the clear requisitions of our Heavenly Father, made known by his spirit in the heart. It is this which will dignify and make men truly honorable: a blessing to their fellow cj'eatures ; and prepare them for the society of saints and angels, and the church of the first-born, whose names are written in heaven. JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 405 24th. First-day moi*ning, at our meeting, I was engaged to call upon some to embrace the oflfcrcd gift of repentance, that they may receive strength to " work while it is called to-day ; for behold the night cometh w^herein no man can work." No man can command these offers of mercy and help. It is then his highest wisdom and interest, to lay hold of them when he is favored with them, lest the awful period come when he may be called to appear in the presence of his Almighty Judge, and ho be unprepared for the solemn event. Next day, a well-concerned Friend told me that what was said was his exercise reduced into words. It is pleasant, when the day laborers arc favored to see eye to eye, and to bring forth good fruit. 26th. Through much doubt and discouragement, I went to the North Meeting. Dear Eachel Thornton was there, and had a consoling testimony to those, deeply proved. My mind was turned to the dear 3'oung people, who were exposed to the evil insinuations of the wicked one ; both by the fluctuations in the Society, and his attempts to captivate them with the fashions of a corrupt world. The Lord's presence was with us, and solemnized and tendered some hearts. It showed me the need of walking hy faith, when there is little sight ; and when the grand deceiver would prevent us from doing our duty; thereby robbing the church, and losing the reward of Divine approba- tion and peace. Eleventh month 1st. Having obtained a minute of the unity of the Monthly Meeting to attend North Carolina Yearly Meet- ing, and to visit some meetings belonging to it, I left home this morning under feelings of desire for preservation. My beloved friend Henry Cope, who also obtained a minute, accompanied me. I had for many months felt affectionately drawn towards some meetings there; and light seemed to shine on some places particularly. Love warmed and softened my heart towards dear Friends in that country ; and the pointing was so strong, that it appeared to be unsafe to disregard it ; and I had accord- ingly opened it to the Monthly Meeting, and a free expression of unity followed. We left by railroad about eight o'clock ; and in passing through Baltimore, called on a few Friends; and reached Washington after dark, where we lodged. 2d. Took the steamer on the Potomac; landed at Aquia Creek, and thence proceeded in the cars to Eichmond and Peters- burg. On the way I had conversation with two slaveholders; 27 ^OG JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. one of whom I found aftei'Avards was Govornor of Virginia. He argued that our Saviour never foj'liad slaveholding ; but I replied that the S])iril and ])rineiples of his religion wei-e against it ; and that the precept, "All things Avhatsoeverye would that men should do unto you. do jo also unto them/' would put an end to it. But they were hardened against everything that would oppose their favorite s3-steni ; and to me they appeared to hold in light estimation the authority of the ehiistian religion. On the subject of war, they were equally in the dark. One of them strove to cast a slur on Friends; saying, that they would fight in eases of great emergency. But I referred him to the seventy years govei-nment of Friends in Pennsylvania, during which no war took place there ; and also the firm constancy of Friends in Ireland, during the civil war there, in which but two of the Society lost their lives, and they because they took np arms. This man finally admitted the man}- corru})tions inseparable i'rom slavery, and its disadvantageous influence Avherever it exists. I believe there are seasons in which such are brought under conviction, that the holding of slaves is wrong, and that it is a curse upon the countrj'. Supped at Petersburg, betAveen eight and nine o'clock; and after arranging our baggage in the burden car, for Ealeigh, set out and travelled all night; changing cars twice, in which avc found poor accommodations for sleeping. Got to Ealeigh near noon on the 3d. Took the mail stage, and had a wearisome ride through the night; the stage bei)ig crowded, and hea- vily laden. We reached Greensborough between one and two o'clock, dined, and in the afternoon, went in the Salem stage to the Boarding School at Ncav Garden. Here we met our friend Dougan Clark, who invited lis to put up witli him, and we accordingly walked to his house, being about one and a quarter miles, and felt ourselves agreeably accommodated with himself and valuable wife. 5th. We were taken to Deep Eiver, to attend the ]\reeting for Sufferings. The business consisted principally in endeavor- ing, through committees, to secure the freedom of colored peo- ple, placed by slaveholders under the charge of Friends ; to have them transferred to other parts of the Union, where they can enjoy their freedom, unmolested by the cruel and unjust laws, Mhich the State lias passed, to bind the shackles on the poor JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 407 down-trodden slave, and to discourage and prevent the holders from giving them their libert}'. 6th. Attended the 3Ieeting for Ministers and Elders, in which I was engaged to hold up the importance of maintaining our testimony to the spiritual nature of Divine worship under the gospel dispensation. It requires dcvotedness to the Truth, and a willingness to endure mortification before the people, at times, in a steadfast waiting for the Master's life-giving presence ; not daring to put forth a hand to any work, until He appears and gives strength and authority for it. If this precious testimony, by which we are much distinguished from other denominations, is not preserved, the Society must go down. After meeting, we rode hack to New Garden. 7th. The meeting for worship this morning was crowded, and for a long time much distui'bed. I felt impressed with the necessity of advocating the doctrine of the universality of the Light of Christ, as it shines at times in the hearts of all men. It gives man a sight of his fallen condition, alienated from God by sin ; and by obedience to it, he is gradually led out of dark- ness into the marvellous light of the Lord, and thus witnesses, as he perseveres faithfully, a growth and an establishment in the Truth. Christ Jesus is the author and finisher of the saints' faith. True faith is not a faculty of the human mind ; but a firm belief and confidence, produced by the operation of his Spirit on the heart, that what He requires of man to forsake or to per- form, is the revealed will of our Heavenly Father; and leads us to put our trust in Christ, the Captain of salvation. He came to save us from our sins, not in them ; and we must be separated from sin, before we can experience complete justification and redemption. 8th. Second-day morning, the meeting for business com- menced. Towards the close, the importance of rightly holding a Yearly Meeting, coming before me, and of Friends conducting, during the recess, at their respective lodging places, in a man- ner consistent with the object of their coming together, I felt drawn affectionately to call their attention, particularly that of the young people, to it; and to mention a remark made to me in my early going out on religious visits, by an elder in the church of Christ ; that he always found it best to keep under religious exercise. This is a state of inward watchfulness ; keeping the fear of the Lord before our eyes, lest we should do anything that 408 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. would be inconsistent with the object of onr leaving home. For want of this, how will Satan rob us and wound us, and deprive us of the benefit intended by these opportunities. The young people were invited to guard against eveiything of a light and frivolous nature, by which they would suffer loss. Friends ex- pressed their unity with it, and wished it might have proper place with them. 9th. The Queries and Answers were read; which exhibited many deficiencies, in various branches of our christian testimo- nies. Individual responsibility, and the proper home education of children, claimed my attention ; and I was led to open the importance of examining our own conduct, the influence of which, either for evil or for good, may be greater than we im- agine. George Fox mentions, that if but one man or woman lived in the Spirit, which the prophets and apostles lived in, who gave forth the Scriptures, he or she would shake the country for ten miles round. Their influence would extend in many cases further than that. The Holy Sj)irit can bring to re- membrance the example of righteous men and women, and thereby convict the evil-doer ; and incite him to forsake wrong things, and come into the w^ay of holiness, and steadfastly per- severe in it. Heads of families were earnestly exhorted to watch over their own conduct, that they might not say or do anything which they could not approve in their children. Committed to our care, in the wilderness of this world, we are bound to do all that is in our power to bring them to Christ; and to do nothing that would lead them into the spirit and customs of the world. In the awful day of account, it will be of unspeakable import- ance, that the blood of others is not found upon our garments. The practice of frequently reading the Holy Sci'iptures in their families, was also pressed upon Friends ; and that it be done in a serious manner, with hearts turned to the Lord; in which, at times, the spirit of supplication is poured out ujion such, and they enabled to pray in spirit for themselves, and their beloved offspring. 10th. Fourth-day. Attended the Meeting of Ministers and Elders; in which was pointed out the necessity of elders coming under a measure of the same Divine anointing imparted for the ministry, to qualify them to discern and judge between thing and thing. Eetwecn that ministrj'^ which comes from the true gospel spring, and that which originates in the activity and im- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 409 agination of the natural mind ; that while they properly eneour- age and cherish the timid and fearful, in the exercise of the gift committed to them, they may discourage forward spirits that run into words without life and authority. Dined at the school-house ; attended the adjourned sitting of the Meeting for Sufferings; and returned to our lodgings. 11th. Frfth-day. The business of the Yearly Meeting was concluded. CHAPTEK XX. CJontinuation of Visit in North Carolina — Trials at Home, and Services in its Neighborhood — Extract from a Letter — Views on Separations. 1847—1848. 1847, Eleventh month 12th. We remained until near even- ing, with our dear friends D. and A. Clark, and then were taken by their eon to a Friend's house, where we lodged. Nextmorn- ing, he took us to Centre, where we attended the Western Quarterly Meeting. Here the Lord gave me renewed ability to preach the gospel of Christ Jesus ; showing that every member of his body is prepai*ed for his place therein, by knowing the w^orking of the Lord's mighty power, in his own regeneration and sanctification, in the first place. When his service is as- signed, he must rely for wisdom and strength to do it, upon Him who taught him obedience to his will, in resisting and overcom- ing the assaults of the enemy; and, from time to time, delivered him as out of the paw of the lion and of the bear. The exam- ples of Moses and David, in the wilderness, when, in the care of their father's sheep, they were divinely instructed in solitude, and prepared through obedience to the Divine voice, and in that saving faith with which the Lord inspired them, for more pub- He and extensive usefulness among his people, were opened to the meeting. The young people were earnestly entreated to come under the government of Christ, that they might occupy the stations designed for them, and reap the reward of his sweet peace. 14th. First-day. Rode several miles to Springfield, where 410 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. many, not professing with us, attended the meeting. The state of those, who like the Jews, were pleasing themselves with being Abraham's children, but whose works do not prove them to be in the faith of Abraham, came before me. Outward ad- vantages increase our responsibility, but unimproved, will not recommend us to the Divine rcgai'd ; nor will the disadvantages under which many are placed, deprive them of the Lord's favor, if they do not bring them upon themselves by wrong doing. " Of a truth," saith the apostle, " I perceive that God is no re- specter of persons ; but in every nation, he that feareth Him and worketh righteousness, is accepted with Him." All outward dis- tinction will avail nothing, unless we are walking in the foot- steps of Christ's companions, working righteousness in the fear of God. The awfulnoss of being found without oil in our ves- sels, with our lamps, when the midnight cry is heard, was solemnly held up to view. Some were warned of losing the spirit of discernment, with which they had been favored, and by keeping to which alone, they can distinguish the voice of the true Shepherd, from that of the stranger. The sheep of Christ know his voice, and they follow Him. The meeting ended with supplication for the continued mercy, and preserving power of our Heavenly Father, extended to his church and his people ; that He would regard our infirmities, for- give our sins, and enable us to ascribe unto Him, to whom alone it belongs, with the Lamb who sitteth on the throne, all glory and honor, salvation and strength, through the eternal Spirit, now and forevermore. Amen. On the 16th, we went to New Salem, where we had a meeting with the few Friends residing near, and in the village ; also some other persons who had been invited. The nature of Di- vine worship, the necessity of being brought off from all de- pendence upon man, and coming to an inward acquaintance with the Lord Jesus, relying upon Him as our teacher and minister, were set before them. All the efforts of man, in his will and time, to comprehend the truths of the gospel, or to teach others the way of religion, will be fruitless. Man, in his natural condition, may set himself to work, and conclude ho knows much ; yet proceeding from his own spirit it will not work the righteousness of God, or promote the Redcomer'st kingdom. 1 felt much for the 3'oung people, and warned them of the machinations of wicked men and women, who were try- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 411 ing to draw unsuspecting young people into tlieir evil pi-jictices. For those Avho were striving to do right, I was prostrated in vocal prayer, that they might be strengthened, and that the visitations of the Lord's love and mercy, might be extended to the young people ; bringing them to submit to bear the yoke and cross of Christ, and preparing them to uphold the standard of pure righteousness where they dwell. We put up with a son of Dougan Clark's, where we were very comfortably and agreeably entertained. 17th. This morning, he took us over to Marlborough, about five miles, where we attended their regular meeting ; which was a pretty large gathering, notice of our intention of being there, having been spread. Here I was enabled to relieve myself in the love of the gospel, towards Friends, of w^iich the meeting chiefly consisted. 18th. We had a rough, tedious ride to Holly Spring, the route being over roads not much used, and in bad repair. The land was very poor, and thinly populated. I thought I should soon wish to be released from this world's concerns, if I was fixed in some places through which we rode. It was the time of their Preparative Meeting, and the company was nearly all Friends ; to whom I was led to sj^teak of the importance of being under a daily travail and w^atchfulness, that we may be favored with a discerning spirit, so as to detect the insinuations of Satan, in his various attempts to deceive ; whether in our in- dividual capacity, or in the church. By faithfulness to the Divine Word, w^ho is a disccrner of the thoughts, and intents of the heart, a qualification is received to judge righteous judg- ment in the church. » We dined at Enoch Barker's, who, with his children, appear to be acquainted with the cross. The company of such Friends is animating. Eode about two miles, and lodged. In the nigJit it com- menced raining, and continued most of the morning, which made travelling, over bad roads, but little frequented, quite dis- agreeable and tedious. In one place, we were obliged to get out of the carriage, and keep it from overturning. We reached our friend John Newlin's, near the Spring meeting-house, to- wards evening, and were received and entertained by him and his family, in a kind and hospitable raannei-. At New Garden, he told us, '-If you come to my house, you will get to Ealeigh,' 412 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. ■which we found to be about fortj^-seven miles distant. Accord- ingly preparation was made, and the following morning, the 20th, Ave got off, and rode about thirtj^-seven miles; parts of the road being very hilly ; and put up for the night at a private house of entertainment. Before leaving John Newlin's, I felt drawn to acknowledge the kindness of Friends in providing for us, and to express my desire, that as some of us were descending the hill of time, while it is a duty to attend to our necessary worldly avocations, we may keep in view the importance of preparing for that city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker the Lord of Hosts is. We parted with feelings of respect and affection for the parents and children, not knowing but that it might be the last time we should visit their habitation. 21st. After taking breakfast, we rode into Ealeigh ; directing our eoui'se,. when reaching the suburbs, to the house of a free colored man, who keejis a livery stable, and carriages to hire, with whom we contracted to be taken to Rich Square. Being desirous of reaching the meeting held there on fourth-day, we set off, after taking dinner at the colored man's table, and rode twent}^ miles, to Foster's, a private house, where we supped and lodged. 22d. Eose early, and rode twelve miles to Crenshaw's, to breakfast. Rode about thirty-five miles, between breakfost and night, and put up at another private house, in which we had little comfort, the views and habits of the inmates being very different from congeniality with our own. Here we fell into conversation with a young man upon the poverty of their farms, and the very reduced value of the lantl ; which he told us, would not bring much more than two dollars an acre, with all the buildings and fencing. We suggested that the cause was keeping slaves, which he could not deny; and when we inform- ed him of the worth of land in Pennsylvania, and the steady ad- vance in quality, improvements, and price, he seemed surprised, and thought be should like to travel through those parts where such cultivation anij. its fruits ai^e to be found. We retired earl}^, but were disturbed by their music and dancing ; rose before any of the family were moving, having paid our fare over night, and rode eight miles to breakfast, at Enfield. Here we obtained directions respecting the road to Pollock's Ferry, on the Roanoke, and set out. JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 413 On the Roanoke, where we crossed, are fine farms, owned by a person of the name of Devei-eux, a large slaveholder. The soil is rich, and his crops are said to be very great and profitable; but the fact that they are produced and gathered by the toil and sweat of men and women, who have no more interest in them, than the cattle by which the land is worked, detracts altogether from the satisfaction we should otherwise have in viewing such flourishing farms. Getting directions respecting the road, we found our way to T. and R. P.'s, through miles of timbered land. They received us with much cordiality; which was truly pleasant, as we had looked towards this place with apprehen- sions of difficulty in timely reaching it, and fearing, if we did accomplish the journe}^, we might not find any conveyance to Piney A7oods, where the Quarterly Meeting is held at this time ; about seventy miles ride. But on enquiry, we found provision had been made for us in that respect also ; which was cause of thankfulness to our Heavenly Father, as well as gratitude to our friends ; strengthening us in the belief that we were under his guidance and protection. We spent the evening in interest- ing conversation with our friends. 24th. It was a favorable circumstance that we had dry weather, on our journey from Raleigh here, as our carriage was small and exposing. Last night it rained, and this morning had a very unfavorable appearance ; but being provided for, we went • to Rich Square, the meeting to which Richard Jordan belonged, when he resided in North Carolina. The company was small, some having gone to Piney Woods. I felt low and weak, and fearful of making any mistake ; but being impressed with the great importance of purity of heart, that man may be prepared to hold communion with his Heavenly Father, and beholding with an eye of faith, the secret travail of spirit which the visited obedient soul is brought under to attain to this purity, I believed it right to rise with these impressions, and to deliver in a simple way, what might be given me. As I went on, in singleness of heart to the Lord, the gospel stream rose a little, to the tendering of some, and I hope to the instruction of others. After meeting, taking leave of our friends with feelings of sincere affection, we went with J. C. to his house, and lodged. The afternoon being rainy, we deferred setting off for Piney Woods until morning. In the evening, two or three young Friends being 414 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. also there, we collected around the fire, and fell into silence ; and unexpectedly to myself, I felt drawn towards the heads of the family, with affectionate solicitude that they might keep the world and its necessary concerns, in" their proper places; so that all their duties to their Heavenly Father, and to each other, might be rightly performed ; that the cumbers and cares of this life might not interfere with that devotion of spirit, which is essential to a growth in the Truth, and the performance of the services which the Head of the church calls for; which I was engaged to communicate to them. 25th. We set off" pretty early, crossed the Chowan Eiver in a flat, and on its bank refreshed ourselves with some food brought in the carriage. Then proceeded on our way, riding often through w\ater, sometimes a fourth of a mile at a time, which flowed over the road from surrounding swamps, making travel- ling often laborious for the horses. We called at two private houses, before we obtained accommodations for the night, there being no taverns on the road, and were grateful to find one wil- ling to take us in ; night coming on and we pi-etty well fatigued. We paid the landlord freely, though he seemed unwilling to take the full price. In the Southern States, the people are noted for their hospitality, without making charge for food and lodgings ; and, therefore, willingly receive the same kindness . gratuitously, which they have bestowed on others. But being strangers, I did not feel satisfied to receive entertainment with- out pay, from those on whom we had no claim, and to whom we could make no similar return, and therefore insisted on the landlord receiving more than he proposed; which was not ade- quate to the comforts of which w^e partook. 2Cth. One of the swamps being much filled with water, and the road being under repair, by the erection of a bridge, we had to drive five miles further, to get to David White's ; whose resi- dence we reached by half-past ten o'clock. We went to the Select Quarterly Meeting; in which the stream of Divine life seemed low, and little was felt for communication. Eeturned to David White's, and remained there till the following morning. 27th. The Quarterly Meeting was attended, during the first sitting, by many persons not of our profession. The necessit}^ of hein<>- born again; of being converted and becoming as little children, as inculcated by our blessed Lord, was brought before me • and He who opens and hands out of his treasury to his JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 415 disciples, things new and old, was pleased, in his goodness and condescension, to enable me to preach his gospel, in the de- monstration of the Spirit and power. I hoped his great name was exalted. 28th. I was at the tirst-day meeting, which was a large col- lection of people of various characters and j)rofessions. I en- deavored to do what appeared to be my duty, but felt little comfort, though I believe some Divine aid was extended, and some hearts contrited. I strove to leave it all to the Lord, and bear my own burthen. Such dispensations of the sense of un- profitableness, are in wisdom ; and when properly borne, tend to humble, and lead us to acknowledge that we are unprofitable servants; and that if at any time we have done any good, it has been the Lord's work, to whom all praise and dominion belong. We rode twelve miles in the afternoon, to William Wilson's, where we lodged. Eose early, and after taking some breakfast, W. Wilson kindly conveyed tis in his carriage to Elizabeth City, to meet the stage for Norfolk. We barely secured our passage, so many were going. We rode about forty-five miles to Portsmouth, which we reached some little time before the Baltimore steamer crossed from Norfolk, on board of which we took our passage. It was rendered unpleasant by the improper conduct and language of an intoxicated young man ; but I felt thankful we were j^ermit- ted to land safely, in the morning; the passage up the Chesa- peake Bay being long, and the wind pretty strong ahead, and the water sufficiently rough to cause sickness in some. Break- fasted at the hotel, took seats in the Philadelphia car, and ai*- rived at our beloved homes in the afternoon ; thankful to be again united'to our dear companions and children. It is cause of gratitude to the God and Father of all our sure mercies, to be preserved from danger and serious accident ; and to believe that lie provided for us, and was our guide, so as to perform the v/ork He assigned us to do. May I be favored with his continual providence in my outward and spiritual con- cerns ; so as to be kept obedient to his will, and sanctified and fit for his use, through the cleansing, quickening efficacy of his Divine Word in the heart, unworthy as I am of the least of all his mercies ; to whom, with his dear Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, 418 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. monies of our religious Society. Attended the Select Quarterly Meeting, in which we hud some service. 17th. We were at the meeting for business. In the first sitting, my wife and myself were called forth in the ministry of the gospel. I have seldom felt moi-e divinely helped than on this occasion. There was a Baptist preacher, and a Methodist preacher at the meeting. The universality of Divine grace, and the indispensable need of regeneration, in order to be made full partakers of the mercy and forgiveness of God, through Jesus Christ our Lord, so as to be thereby saved with an everlasting salvation, were preached. Friends expressed in the second meet- ing, their satisfaction with our company and services ; and, I be- lieve, some were brought into feelings of renewed tenderness. It was an evidence of the Lord's merciful regard to us, poor, unworthy creatures, in thus granting a little fresh ability to labor in his heritage. - 22d. This evening a person called at my store for a portion of medicine, which I put up for her, charging her a small price for it ; she expressed some acknowledgment ; and then asked if I remembered a little girl getting a prescription put up some time before, which I gave her without charge. I told her I did. She then added, the money the child brought to pay with was the last half dollar that her mother possessed ; and when she found that you had not charged for the medicine, she prayed for you all night, that the Lord would bless you. From my first entering into business, I have made it a practice to furnish poor jDcople with medicine, when satisfied they needed it ; and though this was of little moment, as regards the value bestowed, and in itself nothing new, yet it was pleasant to think that I had the prayers of a poor, distressed fellow creature. " Blessed is the man that considereth the poor; the Lord shall deliver him in time of trouble." It is but little we can do ; but it becomes the followers of a sufl:ering, yet victorious Saviour, to live under the influence of his Spirit, who did so much for us ; and then He will teach us and lead us to feel for the suffering, depressed condition of our fellow creatures, and to minister to their neces- sities, as it is proper for us. Last first-day and yesterday, the latter being our Monthly Meeting, I was much shut up ; feeling deeply exercised, at times, on account of the jtrcsent state of our religious Society. Many are unwilling to keep under sulfering, and with their loins gird- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 419 ed, to watch for the coming of the Master of the house; whoso house are we if we hold fast the beginning of onr confidence firm unto the end ; waiting to see what He will order to be done, and then to act under his direction. There is gi^eat danger in putting forth a hand unbidden, to attempt to steady or to sup- port the ark ; both from doing an injury to the cause, and bring- ing death upon ourselves ; with the query, "Who halh required this at thy hand?" 24th. To a letter which I wrote to a Friend about this time, I appended the following : " In the present unsettled state of our religious Society, I am persuaded that the place of safety is individual watchfulness unto prayer; that we may do nothing to create excitement, by which any may be stirred up to do what will not make for peace, and receive the Divine approba- tion. John Woolmau, I think, says, if the church gathers to the place of true prayer, her habitation is safe. In that condition alone, can she be prepared to wait for and to receive the direc- tion of her all-wise and omnipotent Head. And if we stand still, waiting for the salvation of God, we shall have good ground to hope that He will take his cause into his own hand, and carry the church through all its difficulties, to its further refinement, and the praise and glory of his great name. It is a great mis- take to grow impatient under sufl^cring; and in order to procure relief, as we imagine, rush into any measure, incompatible with the order of the discipline. If others do wrong, bear a righte- ous testimony against it ; and if it seem to avail nothing, then leave it and them to the Lord, to do wdiat seemeth to Him good." 27th. Our evening meetings closed for the season. They have been mostly solid opportunities, in which we have had cause to believe that the Master of all rightly gathered assem- blies has been present with us. The gospel has been at times preached, tendering and solemnizing the hearts of many. The young people have been especially desirous to have these meet- ings held, and their deportment has been becoming the occa- sion. May the blessing of the Shepherd of the sheep rest upon them ; bring them forward in their various allotments, to his praise, the comfort of the church, and their everlasting salva- tion, is my sincere desire for them. Third month 1st. At our mid-week meeting, we had several ministers from other parts, who all kept silence. My mind was 420 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. favored with some lively feelings and openings on the precious- ness of keeping the faith and patience of the saints, even when surrounded by darkness, and there seems little to lead the truly baptized disciple to believe, that Truth will gain the victory. I kept from speaking, not knowing but it might go off, and some others might be put forth; but when it was near time to close the meeting, I was afraid to suppress what appeared to be the putting forth of the Shepherd of the sheep, and accordingly de- livered upon the subject, what the Master gave me, as I believed, to communicate ; showing that it was Christ alone who can clothe the soul with this faith and patience, and through which He will make every faithful one victorious. The same faith by which the holy ancients quenched the violence of fire, stopped the mouths of lions, and out of weakness were made strong. Through this faith, we shall be kept relying upon Christ in our lowest state of weakness, and in his time witness Him to be to us the resurrection and the life. So that from season to season, we shall be enabled to adopt the language of the apostle, " Thanks be to God who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." There was a covering of solemn silence spread over the meeting ; in which the tribulated seed rejoiced a little together, in spirit, and I believe took a little fresh courage to hold on the way. 11th. This afternoon I went with my wife to Springfield; and next morning attended their meeting, being first-day, where we had the company of a large number of young men and young women, most of whom are sober, exemplary Friends. ^Ye attended their meeting on fifth-day ; in which it ap- peared right for me to labor in the love of the gospel, to stir up the easy, lukewarm ones, to a lively zeal on account of the work of their own salvation, the present and eternal interests of their children, where they were entrusted with them, and as they were prepared for it, to come under the weight of the ark of the testimonies. Fifth month 24th. I thought there was a religious weight over our Monthly Meeting this morning, under which, desires wei-e raised that we might be seasoned with salt ; experiencing every root of bitterness eradicated, and put shoulder to shoulder in the Lord's work ; so that we might become a body more com- pacted together, and be made to realize the blessings, designed by being associated as a religious society. JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 421 28th. First-daj. This has been a season of poverty, and destitution of any lively, quickening sense of the Master's presence. Doubts and fears have spread over me, whether the same degrees of Divine energy and power, will be again vouch- safed to us ; whether so many favors, slighted and neglected by many, will not occasion the Lord to withhold his visitations very much from us. Sixth month 1st. My wife and myself went, this morning, to Plymouth Monthly Meeting. It seemed to be our place to encourage the devoted ones, and the visited young people, to hold on, in the good old way, in which our fathers in the Truth Avalked. The enemy is busy at work to draw us away from close watchfLilness over our hearts, and to persuade us that there is little or nothing in our testimony to simplicity and self-denial, and that continual exercise of spirit, in which the outgoings of the mind after ease, is detected. And when he has persuaded us that the gentle convictions of Divine Grace are imaginary, or that it is not necessary to be so strict as our fathers were ; then the way will be opened to inculcate doctrines that our So- ciety never believed ; as, that immediate revelation has ceased; and thus the indispensable duty of waiting upon the Lord, that we may hear and know his voice, and be instructed immediatel}'-, as the sheep of Christ, and led along safely by Him, would be foi"saken. It is those who are giving heed to the manifestations of his Spirit in their hearts, that will be prepared to make a right use of the Holy Scriptures. These are not afraid to be- lieve and to receive the testimony of the Holy Scriptures ; for they are redeemed from the penalties which they denounce against sin ; and they will be made partakers of the precious promises contained in them. "There is now no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit ; for the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made them free from the law of sin and death." We dined at the residence of our late friend Hannah Williams. The calmness and sweetness of spirit we felt there, was like the state of her mind in life, and which, we were informed, was re- markably shown at the hour of death ; having nothing to do but to wait the coming of her Lord to take her to Himself; whom she had sei-ved faithfully, with her loins girded and light burning; be- ing an example to the believers in watchfulness of spirit, and purity, and circumspection in word and deportment. She was a 28 422 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. woman of excellent judgment ; being taught in the school of expe- rience under the discipline and instruction of her Divine Master. As she was devoted to Him, and his blessed cause, He endued her with a measure of his wisdom and strength, by which she was enabled to discern between thing and thing; spirit and spirit; and to stand firmly on Christ, the Rock, upon which fivithful Friends have ever stood. 15th. My wife feeling her mind drawn to attend Haddon- field Quartei'ly Meeting, held this time at Evesham, we were taken there by a friend. A pretty large company assembled. Ann Bishop spoke early. My mind w^as arrested with the im- portance of keeping under suffering for the. sake of the blessed Master and his cause, and for our own benefit and preservation. The expression of the apostle was brought before me, " For unto you it is given, in the behalf of Chirst, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for his sake." . It seemed to me, that inward suffering, in a state of close Avatch fulness, was greatly needed; and that much loss would be sustained, if we were to become a self-active, talking people; and not experience those humblinir, preparing baptisms into our own conditions, needed to fit us for usefulness, and to bring us in sympathy with Chi'ist ; who as the Seed, is pressed down in the hearts of the people, by their worldly thoughts, and desires after things of a perishing nature. 21st. Having concluded to spend a few weeks with our brother and sister Rhoads, we shut up our house, and rode to their pleasant dwelling this afternoon, about twelve miles from Philadelphia. 28th. In calling upon a Friend to-day, I was much distressed in hearing him express the opinion, that in the present divided feeling in our Society, a separation must take place; because I believe the Head of the Church does not design it should be sjjlit and scattered. It appears to me to be a device of the enemy; and cannot take place, unless Friends get off the right ground. If we are willing to suffer for the Truth, and to wait the Lord's time, we shall not only be benefited and deepened by the trials of our day, but He will make a way for the Society to rise above the workings of the ci'uel enemy, and to exalt the precious testimonies He has called us to bear before the nations of the earth ; in the purity and dignity of the gospel of Christ. •Oh the need there is for patient, faithful suffering! being wil- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 423 lm may be used in the Lord's fear and under his direction, that we may ex- perience an increase thereof; and the feet of inquirers after good, may be turned into the way to Zion. With much unanimity, we agreed to propose the holding of such meetings, and Fi-iends rejoiced that they were so united; considering it as an evi- dence that Divine regard and kindness were still round about us. Eleventh month 14th. Last fifth-day, the 9th, my wife and myself, went to Westfield, New Jersey, and attended their usual mid-week meeting; in which, after a season of silent waiting, we had some service. On sixth-day morning, we rode over to Evesham Monthly Meeting ; in which my wife labored to draw some of those present, off from the inordinate pursuit of the Avorld, into a love of the kingdom of God, and the righteous- ness thereof Attended the Monthly Meeting of Upper Evesham, on 7th day. In this, and in that of Evesham, there was no business to claim the attention of Friends, although the meet- ings are both pretty large. We were at their first-day meet- ing. Tn all these, the Seed seemed under oppression, and there is not that growth in the Truth, which ought to be evident, where so many temporal and spiritual blessings have been bestowed. Oh, the benumbing effects of the world, and the seemingly necessary engagements in lawful business! Un- less some calamity is brought over us, or the Lord conde- scends to awaken powerfully the stupefied and worldly-inind- ed members of our Society, it looks probable, that many will be sunk into total unconcern about their soul's everlasting welfare, until the last trump of God shall awaken them to ap- pear before the judgment scat of Christ. Woful must then be JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 433- the state of such pretenders to belief in the doctrines of Chris- tianity ; whose lives show that they are worshipping and ser- ving the creatm-es, instead of the Creator ; who only is blessed and worthy of all adoration and praise forevermore. We came to Haddonfield in the afternoon, and next-day attended their Monthly Meeting. 26th. Our first-day meeting has been a season of inward ex- ercise in silence. There was little caught with all our toil ; but we i-emembered Him, who directed his disciples to give the mul- titude food, because He would not send them away fasting, lest they should fiiint by the way; and we trusted that He was not unmindful of our needs. 29th. I went this morning to the Western Meeting. The work of the ministry does not feel to me to be any less fearful to engage in, than it did in the beginning. It is a mercy, when we are favored, to get through with the work to which we are called in any meeting, without saying what we should not. The only safe ground to stand and act upon, is humble dedication to the Lord ; not seeking to be put forth in words, but waiting in the quiet habitation, until the time comes to feel the quickening power, and the authority or direction to stand up. The crea- ture and the openings made, are often baptized into death. But if the Lord has a service for his devoted children, He will pre- pare, make the way cleai', and give utterance, often to their ad- miration, and sometimes, humiliation. He helped me this day to bear testimony to the indispensable need of the inward work of religion, which is begun and car- ried on in the heart by the Spirit of Christ; and that this is a daily work, from the beginning of it in early life, to the close of our earthly pilgrimage. Buy the truth, by parting with all it calls for, and sell it not. If any man barter it away, for the friendships of the world, the last state of that man is w^orse than the first. A solemnity spread over the meeting. Twelfth month 9th. Our meeting this morning was large ; in which the doctrine of immediate Divine revelation, as the source of a knowledge of the will of God concerning us ; of the strength to do it, and of the true understanding of the Holy Scrii:>ture8, so that we may be really benefitted by them, was held forth ; un- der the fresh openings and authority of Him who giveth gifts to men, and the qualification to occupy them to his honor. A Friend, of religious feeling, expressed his unity ; there being, he 434 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. Baid, some things to which the doctrine particularly applied, of which I did not know. 25th. Last evening our first-day meeting was not as large as those heretofore held, probably owing to the dampness of the weather. Although we had ministers who were strangers, it was held in silence ; under, I hope, some travail of spirit, that the Lord would teach and feed his people Himself When He anoints and puts forth in the work of the ministry, no man or woman has the right to hold back, or to hinder the work ; but if, for fear of the people being scattered, or discouraged, any undertake to prepare and offer in their own will and wisdom, the lifeisburthened in the true worshippers, and the disposition to hear words is fed and strengthened in those who have itch- ing ears, and whose dwelling is in the outer court. May those upon whom the cause heavily rests, be kept in the Lord's hand, watching against every device of the enemy; who is constantly seeking to frustrate the good intended for them, and to divide and destroy the flock. How fearful is our situation ; and how needful is constant application to the throne of Grace and Mercy, for Divine strength and preservation. 1849, First month 11th. It has seemed to me that our pre- servation will consist in being individually obedient in all things, both to do and to suffer, according to the will of God concern- ing ourselves ; and as He manifests it to us by his Spirit in the heart. To look to and rely upon the ever-blessed and all-power- ful Head of the church, to guide and keep us as a people, and to support his own cause Himself He alone can do it; and we have need to be upon our guard that we do not attempt to take the work into our hands ; thinking that we see exactly how the Society should be delivered out of its difficulties, and the cause of Christ be carried over all opposition. I believe it is also very necessary to cherish feelings of ten- derness and much forbearance, for those who do not see eye to eye with ourselves; that as we look for mercy at the hand of our Heavenly father, we may be careful not to indulge in a spirit of enmity towards them ; but endeavor to bear each other's burdens, that we may fulfil the law of Christ ; which is a law of compassion and love. As we endeavor daily to dwell in this spirit, there will be seasons wherein we shall be enabled to draw very near to the throne of Grace, and pour forth supplications for ourselves, and for the church, that He will spare his people, JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 435 and not give his heritage to reproach, that unbelievers in his goodness and immediate power, may not rule over them. 23d. I have passed through a state of great strippedness for several weeks past. Such dispensations are truly humiliating; and thoujrh a ffreat trial to endure, bring those who dare not look for relief from any source than the Lord alone, to bow very low, and endeavor to draw near to Him, with their hearts pant- ing after the living God, as the hart panteth after the water- brook. IIow evident to them is it at such seasons, that they are nothing ; that there is no good but what comes from Christ; no power to do good but what He inspires the soul with, and that it is not at our will to command the seasons when they shall be dispensed. This must be waited for in abasement and abhorrence of self; by which we are taught that Christ alone can carry on the work in us and for us, and qualify us when He pleases, to hand the bread that He gives, to others. On first-day morning, the 21st, at our own meeting, for about one hour, it seemed almost impossible to exclude thoughts on subjects, which had nothing to do with Divine worship. When the}^ were cast out, they seemed almost at once to return, though there was a struggle to overcome. But after a time, when the Master drew near, deliverance was experienced, and a little ability was granted, to testify experimentall}', that there is no spiritual life by which the soul is quickened and made alive unto God, but that which comes from Christ ; who is the way, the truth and the life. At the evening meeting, my mind was introduced into much feeling with the young people, on account of the many and va- rious temptations to which they are exposed ; and the sad consequences of quenching the Spirit and its convictions in their hearts. I was led to remind them that there was no stop- ping-point in the two ways ; in one or other of which they must be walking ; the broad road that leads to destruction, or the narrow way that leads to everlasting life. If we keep in the latter, it will, as the just man's path, shine more and more unto the perfect day ; but in the former, we shall wander further and further from the Heavenly Father's house, and grow darker and more hardened in transgression and sin. They were warned of the inevitable danger, in this way, of finally slighting and de- spising religion and serious persons, and of falling into prac- tices which they had never intended to adopt. They could not 436 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. decide beforehand how far they would go; but might become familiarized w-ith things, which at one time they would have abhorred. After having come under Satan's influence, they have uo power to release themselves from his grasp : nothing but the almighty arm of the Saviour can deliver them ; and should they continue to deny and reject Him, they would have uo ground to hope for his help. Parents were also reminded that the devia- tions of the children were, at times, in part to be attributed to their want of firmness and faithfulness. That, like Eli, they might warn, but they had not sufficiently restrained them. The young people w^ere tenderly expostulated with, and affectionately entreated, that when favored with the visitations of Divine light, showing them where they are, and to what they are hasten- ing, to make a stand, turn their back on the tempter, and follow Christ; who would take them out of the broad road, and intro- duce them through the strait gate into the narrow way ; where they would enjoy peace and substantial happiness ; grow in grace ; and in their language and conduct, invite others to follow them as they followed Christ. We had good reason to bless his holy name, for regarding our low estate, and lifting up once more the light of his countenance upon us. I hope there were impressions received, which will not be soon effaced. 24th. The wing of ancient goodness was mei-cifull}^ spread over us to-day in our Monthly Meeting, both in that for wor- ship and for discipline. It felt to me that the Lord in mercy drew near to his suffering, and often disconsolate children, and gave renewed evidence, that, as they were faithful, He would not forsake them; but would turn their captivity as the streams of the south ; and by the might of his power, raise them up above their enemies. They were encouraged to keep to their exer- cises, and they would be strengthened and bound together; every one having his station allotted him by the Captain of salvation. It was the time for answering all the Queries, and the meeting was preserved under a very solid and gathered feeling; and, I trust, some experienced it to be good for them to be there. Robert Scotton was with us, and had a Avord of encouragement for us in the first meeting; also our beloved friend Margaret Hutchinson, who feelingly exhorted us to be faithful unto death, and the Lord would give us a crown of Ufe. JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 437 29th. To two young Friends who called at our house, I felt drawn, in tender aifcL-tion, to hold up the great importance of being brought into and walking in that path, which the vul- ture's eye hath not seen, nor the lion's whelp trodden therein ; neither shall any ravenous beast go up thereon ; it shall be call- ed a way — a way of holiness, and the ransomed and redeemed shall walk therein ; and as they are faithful to Him, who casts up and leads into this way, they shall come to Zion, with songs, and everlasting joy shall be upon their heads. They were in- vited to be obedient to Him who anoints the spiritual ej-e to see this path, that they might experience Him to take up his abode with them, and to join Himself to them in a perpetual covenant that would never be broken on his part, while they kept faith- ful to their Lord and Master. May they be brought into this covenant, and be made preachers of righteousness, in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation. Second month 3d. Our Select Quarterly Meeting was a time of inward affliction. Oh! that self may be made of no reputa- tion ; and that a fervent travail of soul may be maintained before the Lord, that everything that would wound the hidden life, and mar the unity which should prevail, may be kept out of our hearts. There are seasons in which we feel peculiarly left to ourselves, no doubt for the trial of our faith, and to make us sensible of our nothingness ; and if we rightly endure these dispensations, they will prepai'e us, like vessels emptied and cleansed, to be again tilled with riches from the Loi'd's store- house. 5th. Our Quarterly Meeting for business was rather a favor- ed time ; I think there was an exercise in the second meeting for the welfare of the members, and that the authority of Christ was measurably maintained. 11th. This has been a day of deep, inward conflict, without being able to attain much, to comfort the tossed mind. If in our religious meetings we are not unitedly engaged to labor for the meat that endureth unto everlasting life, the spirit of anti- christ will have the ascendency in many, who will be far from performing that worship which is in spirit and in ti'uth. Indi- vidual travail of soul is indispensable to the life of a meeting, and to the preservation of the members as branches of the true Yine. Although man, by his own efforts merely, cannot keep himself under this exercise, yet he is bound to seek for Divine 29 438 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. help, to enable him to wait upon the Lord for the appearance of his life-giving presence, and to believe that it is indispeneablo to his life and growth in the Truth. When we are permitted to toil all night, and to feel, at last, as if we had taken nothing, and fears assail us, whether we shall not be altogether left by the Master, it is a favor to remember that there is a ])ortion of suffering to be tilled up for the body's sake ; and if in this way, we are participating in it, to a small degree, it is enough; that in this travail of spirit, we may be made ministers of life to other seeking ones. 28th. The great contrast between the legal and gospel dis- pensations, was a little opened. One says, " An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth." The other, "Love your enemies; bless them that curse yoa ; do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you and persecute you." If in tim.e of peace, we are seeking to lay waste our friends, how are we to love enemies in time of war? The whisperer, who is going about like an insidious serpent, will separate very friends. "Whei-e any are thus seeking, without any foundation, to whis- per something against a friend, to destro}^ his standing and usefulness, how can they love enemies, and bless them that curse them, or do good to them that hate them ? Where the ffospel and its nature are brought into the heart, our Lord will enable his children to follow his example, in doing good, and when any are seeking to injure us, to sa}'- in sincerity, " Father, forgive them ; they know not what they do." It is only as this spirit is lived in, that we can experience the love of Crod to flow in our souls; and as it prevails and sweetens our hearts, the true love for the brethren and the precious fel- lowship which has often subsisted in our religious Society, will be restored ; the bones that have been broken will rejoice. Third month 28th. B. H. and J. S. of Ohio, were at our Monthly Meeting to-day. Friends were comforted by 'their company, and B. H.'s services. We have had silent meetings for several weeks. This morning the spi'ing of the ministiy was a little opened in some others also, and warning was sounded in the ears of those who are putting their trust in outward things, and turning the back upon the clear manifestations of the Holy Spii'it in their own souls. Fourth month 1st. Pretty soon after rising tliis morning, I felt a pointing to go to the Arch Street Meeting, being first-day; JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 439 where I think I have not been, on that day of the ■week, for several years. Before I left my chamber, the declaration re- corded in the Psalms was brought very livingly to mj^ remem- brance : "Ask of me and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy pos- session. Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron ; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel." It appeared clear to me, that the Almighty Father would, in his time, give to his beloved Son, the kingdoms of this world, and Satan would be put under foot ; and a cloud of discouragement was in some de- gree dispersed. At the meeting, I was led to speak of the doc- trine and duty of inward, reverent, silent waiting befure the Lord, as of essential importance to the growth of the true be- liever. That no man can be a true follower of Christ without it; for if he be one of his disciples, he will feel bound, day by day, and oftener, to wait upon the Lord for the renewal of his strength. It was practised by the holy ancients; who sat upon their watch-tower, and waited to see what the Lord would say unto them, and what they should answer when they were re- proved. In this humble, reverent frame, He often condescends to show us our weakness, or something wherein we are not coming up to the pattern of perfection, which our Lord set be- fore us. Friends were invited into this state ; wherein they would be raised above the wrath of their enemies, and be en< abled to condemn every tongue that riseth up in judgment with them. CHAPTEE XXII. 1849. Philadelphia Yearly Meeting — Causes of Discouragement— Visit at the Sea- shore, and Reflections on the Dangers attending Visits at such places — Visits to difl'erent Meetings — Death of Sarah Emlen— State of our Religious So- ciety — Margaret Hutchinson — Visit to Muncy. 1849, Fourth month 14th. Our Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders was held this morning. Several strangers attended, 440 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. but said little. After the answers to the Queries on the minis- try were read, it came weightily and very unexpectedly upon me, that the ministr}- of the gosj^el of Jesus Christ was one of the most important services we could be engaged in : that one of his ancient apostles speaking of his ministry', said, " I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ;" and that this remained to be the only source and authority of all true gospel ministry, down to this day. However unlooked for the motion was, I felt constrained to rise, and as I might be enabled, to speak upon this weighty subject. It came before me, also, that nothing in the form of a religious duty, could be of much more prejudice to the church, than a ministry of mere words, without the putting forth of the Head of the church. That persons who had once received the gift from Him who ascended up on high ; and in the beginning, had exercised it in the life and power of Christ, might gradual- ly fall into a habit of uttering words, that were not a savor of life to the living; and some who never had been entrusted with a gift, might undertake to officiate in this way. Such a minis- tiy seems as if it would strike dow^n to the ground the living members, and clothe them with mourning ; instead of comfort- ing and strengthening them. Some of us had lived long enough, to remember man}" living and deeply baptized ministers, who knew what it was to go down into suffering with their Lord, and to remain there his appointed time; until they knew Him, who is the resurrection and the life, to quicken and enable them to bring up stones of memorial. These were a comfort to the church, and the living gathered as round about them in spirit, supporting their hands in the work ; and thus all were strength- ened together. But what a change has taken place amongst this people. The importance of having discerning elders, who can distinguish between the true and the false; and under the influence and authority of the spirit of sound judgment, are led to give the living child to the right mother, was also spoken to. "Where such go to a brother, in the meekness of wisdom, and the gentleness of Christ, and under a right exercise for his preser- vation, unburthen their minds, when they feel that a minister is losing in life and power, it is a great favor to such ; for which, if they are in a proper spirit, they will feel thankful. It is also important that true elders be faithful in opening to those who, having received no gift in the ministry, mistake their services JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 44X in the church, and burthen Friends with their communications; not only that such may be prevented from bringing the minis- try into disrepute, but that they may be turned into the channel of service which the Lord designs them for. Our friend Samuel Bettle, Sr., said, that the care of elders and the proper hearing of them by ministers, was a practice that the Society had always observed; and that it was in this way the different members of the church edified one another. Several other Friends ex- pressed their unity with what was delivered, and the authority of Truth prevailed in good measure over the meeting. On the 16th, the Yearly Meeting for the general affiiirs of the church began, and continued until the close of the 20th. The business was conducted with harmony, excepting the discussion which arose on a report prepared by the Meeting for Sufferings, on the division that had taken place in New England Yearly Meeting, which was objected to by some of the members. But the more solid and experienced part of the meeting, united with it ; and it was finally concluded to adopt it, and to furnish each body, in that Yearly Meeting, with a copy. Many Friends thought that the meeting was much favored with the oversha- dowing of the good presence of the Head of the church. When a proposition from New York Yearly Meeting, to hold a con- ference of '•' representatives of the Society," came up for consid- eration, the meeting decided with great quietness, that the way did not open to join in with the measure. Nothing authorizes a man to speak to the weighty matters of the church, but the putting forth of the blessed Head of the church. There must be a proper exercise to prepare to speak in the humble spirit and authority of Truth. If this ground is not kept, our religious meetings will become mere debating as- sociations ; and learning, wit and worldly influence will finally govern and decide ; and thus the character of a church of Christ will be lost. We shall not be of his sheep, who know his voice, and follow Him, and who refuse to follow the voice of a stran- ger, because they know not the voice of strangers. Fifth month 6th. ^lay the Lord never foi-sake us as a people, but if needful, by the revelation of his righteous judgments, bring us down, make us and keep us his humble, devoted fol- lowers ; that we may be under his government, and made use of by Him, to spread his blessed and glorious kingdom in the earth. 442 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 20th. Our meetings for worship have often been laborious ; in silent waiting and struggling to keep the mind from wander- ing. Yet at seasons, a little hope and consolation, as from the nether springs, have been secretly furnished ; and sometimes through the ministry. In the morning, being tirst-day, I was constrained to testify, that where the eye was kept single to Christ, the whole body would, at times, be full of light. This could only be known as we are obedient to whatever He re- quires. Light, and love to God, are increased by faithfully fol- lowing Christ ; until it becomes easy to do his will ; which is then our meat and drink. Satan stands at our right hand, to tempt and to destroy ; but these humble followers of the Lamb, are immediately warned against his temptations ; and if their eye is single to Christ, and they resist the devil, he flees from them; and thus they obtain the victory. Sixth month 10th. This has been a day of discouragement; little being obtained that gave direct evidence of Divine appro- bation and regard ; and there are now very few who can speak a word of comfort to those that are weary. Such dispensations administer the sentence of death, not to trust in ourselves, or in others ; but teach us to look to and wait for his appearance, who raiseth the dead. I read several letters contained in a collec- tion of Sarah Lynes Grubb's, lately published in England. They show the workings of a spirit that is drawing Friends from the inward, spiritual experience of the religion of the Lord Jesus, and transferring the thoughts to that which He did for us, without us, and to a literal study and knowledge of the Holy Scriptures. We have always believed in the truth and Divine authority of the Scriptures, and that no doctrine or practice, which is incompatible with them, is to be received: that it is through the sacrifice of Christ on Calvary, pardon and reconciliation are obtained, and the gift of the Holy Spirit pro- cured ; yet all will avail comparatively little, unless we co-oper- ate with his Spirit in our hearts; experiencing Him to prepare them by his ba])tlsm of the Holy Ghost and fire, to be taber- nacles, sanctified for Him to dwell in. Thus only can we know Him to be in us, " The hope of glory," the Author and finisher of our faith, and of every good thought, word and woi-k, tluit is brought forth in us. 15th. AVe had a large Meeting for Sufferings, in which the business that claimed our attention, was conducted with much JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 443 satisfaction. The consideration of slavery, and the African slave trade, afresh impressed the minds of Friends, with a sense of the cruelties, and great violation of the spirit of Christianity, and of the unquestionable rights of men, attending this horrible and most iniquitous system ; and the committee having these subjects in charge, were encouraged to renew the consideration whether there is any step that could be now advantageously taken, to support and spread our testimony against these great evils. Seventh month 4th. The Asiatic cholera has been in our city about two weeks. Some appear to feel alarm, and fear it may spread ; but it has visited so many places, in the villages particularly along oi* near water courses, that but few compara- tively are leaving the city on account of it. The instances of persons dying with but few hours illness, and of course with little warning, are indeed fearful, and, at times, bring sensations of aw^fulness over the mind. I have found it my place, very much, of latter times, to keep silence in our meetings ; but this morning, the impulse was felt to invite the members to closer watchfulness, that thej^ might escape the temptations of the enemy; and not only on that account, but also because the pestilence that walketh in dark- ness, was abroad in the world, and none knew what a day or an hour might bring forth. If all were engaged to prepare a habitation for the mighty God of Jacob to dwell in, we should be prepared to meet whatever trials might be permitted to over- take us. 8th. The want of that unity, by which the exercised mem- bers are made a strength, and an encouragement to one another, has been much felt. The Societ}' is now suffering great loss from this cause ; and until the unity of the Spirit, which it has known in time past, is restored, Aveakness will be our lot. The various members of the body are designed to be helpful to each other; but if they are disjointed, there will be much suffering, and the work which the church is called to perform, wuU be im- peded. What inconceivable injury is inflicted, by influential persons getting out of their places, and undertaking to do what the Head never directed them to do. We cannot restore the pre- cious harmony as soon as we may see the need of it. The Lord alone can do it, and we must wait upon Him, and bear the suf- 444 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. fering which is our lot, until in mercy, lie a^-ain arises, and commands deliverance for Jacob, his suttcring, travailing seed. 10th. My brother Thomas having gone to Cape Island, on account of his infirm health, and it being necessary that one of his brothers should be with him, I came down this morning. 12th. Living with a class of people, Avhose habits and opin- ions are very different from those of Friends, is trying. There being nothing like seriousness among s me of them, we seem to be in each other's way. Unless Friends keep steadil}^ upon their watch in such places, they are in danger of being leavened with the spirit such persons live in, and gradually falling into their manners, and imitating their changeable fashions in dress. The amusements which are jirepared for the light spirits here, are a strong temptation to young people; especially, when they are not watched over by consistent parents, under a proper re- ligious concern themselves, and w^ho w^ould restrain them from resortino-to such entertainments. It seems as if some felt them- selves freed from proper restraint, and at liberty to indulge in frivolity. In this w\ay they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put Him to an open shame. Such ai^e evil ex- amples to others. The kingdom of Satan is gaining ground in this land, and if those who consider themselves lovers of religion, slacken their watchfulness, and their resistance to wrong things, the tide of corruption must gain a powerful ascendency over the morals of the people at large. I consider it dangerous for religious people, to be long mingled with irreligious, or light persons, on terms of courtesy and famili- arity. They are in danger of being leavened with their spirit, of losing their strength, and then falling in with something that will grieve the Holy Spirit, and Avound their own souls; and when once wounded, they may never recover, but go halting all their days. Very many are ashamed of the simplicity of the cross. Some who may be pretty staid among their friends at home, and yet not very firm against the current of fashion, and libertinism, may be thus drawn into it; and at such places, lay aside the Quaker character and manners, almost alto- gether; thereby bringing reproach upon the name and cause of Christ. Those who are enemies to religion, and ready to disseminate their poisonous opinions, are often found in these places of public JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 445 resort ; where they put on great politeness, and blandness of manner, to insinuate themselves more effectually into the es- teem of strangers. They often carry an exterior of great kind- ness, and interest in the accommodation of others ; by which, unwary young people may be attracted to them, and led to think, that where such apparently disinterested good-will exists, the principles cannot be dangerous. To send young people where they will mingle Avith such, exposes them to receive a hurtful bias, which it may be extremely difficult to eradicate, and which may be used by Satan to destroy their faith in the christian religion, or hinder them from giving up to walk in the path of self-denial. We cannot expect, while in this world, to avoid all intercourse with men who have little or no religious scruples ; but the less of it, the better. Many parents who have permitted their children to associate with the gay and the frivolous, have finally found their sons and daughters had a total disrelish for plain and unfashionable com- pany. The gay world, which lies in wickedness, has stolen away their hearts from their Saviour; they become dissatisfied with that which is serious, and restrictive, and are soon pre- pared to leave the Society, of which they were birthright mem- bers, to become votaries of the world. 17th. I have passed some of the time here in reading the letters of that extraordinary woman, the late Sarah Lynes Gi'ubb. She was an instrument peculiarly prepared by the Lord Almighty, to uphold and to spread the doctrines and testi- monies of the christian religion, as promulgated by George Fox, E. Barclay, and other Friends, in the rise of our religious Societj'. The reliance of some, among Friends, upon human talents, without waiting upon the Lord, to receive from Him ability and authority for every good word and work, occasioned her much suffering and anxiety ; especially, in relation to its effect on the true welfare of the Society, and the blessed cause given it to uphold. In this exercise, she appears to have labored much alone for several years ; but when called upon to advocate the cause of her Divine Master, she was plain and thorough in her testimony ; especially, against all the efforts used by some to change the faith of Friends ; often expressing the belief, that such would, in time, be scattered; and that a righteous seed would be preserved, that shall again flourish. 446 JOURNAL OF WILIJAM EVANS. 18Lh. Another brother eoming down to sta}' with Thomas, I returned home. 22d. The cholera has been in our city several weeks, twelve to thirty dying daily with the fearful disease. 26th. In the night season, I lay sometime awake, under mournful feelings ; death being abroad, summoning many to their everlasting home. But as I looked towards the Lord Al- mighty, in his holy temple, endeavoring to rely upon Ilim, the language was sw^eetly revived : They that trust in the Lord, shall not be confounded, but tliey shall be as Mount Zion, that cannot be removed ; and ability was mercifully granted to put my trust in my blessed Heavenly Father, and safely to repose upon his goodness, and unfailing compassionate regard towards me, a poor unworthy creature. 31st. I received information of the decease of Sarah Emlen. This dear Friend was an acceptable minister, and had been much dedicated to the Lord's service. She, and her ministerial labors, will doubtless be much missed in the church. The re- moval of faithful laborers at this day of close conflict and prov- ing, adds to the mournful feelings with which many are now clothed ; but it is no time to cast away our confidence in Bound- less Mercy and compassion. The Lord's arm is not shortened, nor his ear grown heavy ; but I believe w^e may safely conclude, that after purging and humbling his people. He will arise in his might, dissipate the clouds, and again give precious gifts to sons and daughters. Eighth month 6th. Mary Carpenter, a member of Philadel- phia Monthly Meeting, having deceased, I felt my mind drawn in sympathy to go to the house, and sit with the connections and friends. The expression, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints," came before me ; and under the eonsti-aining influence of Heavenly Love, I was led to testify, that it was a blessed gathering of the sanctified in Christ Jesus, to their everlasting mansion among the saints in light; and to de- clare my belief, that if those who are left in this state of proba- tion, foHow them as they followed Christ, walking by the same rule and minding the same thing, they wall be also prepared by the Holy Spirit, to receive precious gifts; and the doctrines and testimonies of the gospel given Friends to support, will not be permitted to fall to the ground in this city. It was a tendering, comforting opportunity, that ended in peace. JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 447 Our Quarterly Meeting, which met this day, was held in sol- emn silence ; which led me to think, that while we can hold our religious meetings under such solemnity, we are not deserted by tlie Gracious Head of the Church. May we be preserved in reverent, humble waiting before Him, and with loins girded and lights burning, do his blessed Avill on all occasions. A concern for the welfare of members of the meeting on the other side of the mountains, spread over us, and a few Friends were separa- ted to make them a visit, in the love of the gospel, for their strength and encouragement. 15th. Went with my dear wife to Salem Select Quarterly Meeting, held at Woodbury ; which is in a very reduced state. Several of the members were absent to-day, occasioned by the death of Mary Sheppard, of Greenwich, who had been but a few years acknowledged as a minister, and was well esteemed by those who were acquainted with her, in the exercise of her gift. Our condition as a religious body calls for deep indwelling with the Master, and serious enquiry what He would have every one to do ; that each may know the woi-k of salvation to be going on with the day, and receive ability to build up the waste places. 16th. In the forepart of the Quarterly Meeting, our beloved friend Sarah Hillman, was engaged in acceptable testimony to the unfailing goodness of our Heavenly Father towards his chil- dren, even when their faith may seem ready to fail. He changes not. It was reviving and strengthening to the tribulated fol- lowers of Christ. Although I felt low. yet after a time of waiting, I was con- strained to arise with the query, "When the Son of man cometh, shall he tind faith on the earth ?" When He cometh into the hearts of many who profess his holy religion, will He find that living faith, which is the saints' victory over the world, the flesh and the devil ? A mere belief in the doctrines of the ISTew Tes- tament, without obedience to the inwardly revealed will of God, will avail but little. There is a faith that overcomes the world, and there is a faith that is overcome by the world. Many who have a plain outside, are seeking to become rich, and straining all their powers to accumulate wealth, that they may be great in the world, and receive honor from men ; but these are stumb- ling blocks in the way of serious enquirers after the Truth ; and they are burthens to the living members of the Chui-ch of Christ. Even worldly people can often discover Avhere the substance and 448 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. life are wanting ; and such brino- our religious profession into dis- repute. They were solemnly called upon to renounce the world, and make ready for the period when the cry will be sounded in their ear, "Behold the Bridegroom cometh, go ye out to me«t him," The gospel was preached to the poor, and the dear young people called upon to yield to the visitati ns of Divine love, and give up their hearts wholly to the government of their Saviour. Ninth month 30th. This has been a day of serious thought- fulness upon the state of our Society ; so great change has taken place in the number of aged, experienced members, through re- moval by death. The unsettlement produced by the promulga- tion of unsound principles, has prevented growth in the Truth in many, and it seems as if the labor wdiich has been bestowed, has done little more than contribute to keep some j'oung plants from entirely dwindling and falling Siway. Comparatively few show themselves on the Lord's side, by taking an active part in the atfairs of the church, under his constraining power ; and this makes heavy work for those who are bound to the law of their God, and his testimon}^ to the life and spirituality of the gospel dispensation. The unity and true fellowshij^ which pertain to membership in the body of Christ do not subsist amongst Friends as they once did. It seems as if nothing but dying daily, and waiting in resignation of soul before the Lord, for him to arise, and w^ork by his mighty power, can do away the divided feelino-s. We cannot remove them ourselves : and some must be given up to reproach, who may be employed as between the living and the dead,' for staying the plague. If the love of Christ did really abound in us ; that love in which He laid down his precious life for the salvation of souls, we should be willing to enter into suffering and sympathy one with another; and there would be no disposition to listen to, nor to spread reports, unfavorable to those who are standing for the faith of the gos- pel. That true heavenly love would lead us to pray for each other; to keep close in spirit to the servants of the same Lord; holding up their luinds, and encouraging them in the work where- unto He has appointed them. Hereby Satan would be disappoint- ed in his efforts to destroy the flock ; and Friends being l»anping liis and her ])lace in the body, tho Lord would not only bless the ])rovision of Zion, and satisf}' her poor with bread, but his work would prosper in our hands, and JOURNAL OF WTLT-IAM EVANS. 449 sons and daughters would be bi-ought from the cast and the west to sit down in the kingdom of the dear Son of God ; and there- by the enhxrgement of our borders would take place ; by which the burden-beai'crs and standard-bearers woidd be increased. The removal of our aged and beloved friend, Margaret Hutch- inson, who has long stood as a lively, acceptable minister in our meeting, has left a blank at the head of it, Avhich is sensibly felt. Her communications were mostly short, uttered with fear and trembling ; but raising the life among us. Her appearances in supplication were much of the same character; solemn and impressive; proceeding from the constraining power of Christ, and under reverence and awfulness in approaching the Divine Majesty of heaven and earth. How fathers and mothers in the unchangeable Truth have been taken from us in the last forty years! How soon the same merciful and long-suffering Head may see fit to supply their places, we cannot foresee. None can do it but Himself, by his wonder-working power. But it is oi|r duty to wait upon Him in faith, and when qualified therefor, put up our prayers that He will restore judges as at the first, and counsellors as at the beginning. Tenth month 1st. This afternoon I attended the burial of Wm. Cooper, from his late residence, near Camden, N. J. After some time of silence, I felt engaged to preach the doc- trine of life and salvation through our Loi'd Jesus Christ ; both as he is a Mediator, glorified at the right hand of the Father, with the glory which he had with him before the woi'ld was, and as he is appearing by his Spirit in the hearts of all man- kind ; to give every one a sense of his fallen state, while living according to the lusts and appetites of the carnal mind ; and inciting them to repentance and the forsaking of sin. To those Avho receive Him, he will give power to become the sons of God ; their sins being forgiven and washed away, for the sake of that most satisfactory sacrifice, which he offered of Himself, without the gates Jerusalem. As they follow him faithfully, bearing the daily cross, and despising the shame, they will be made parta- kers of the Divine nature ; putting on the Lord Jesus Christ, and no longer making provision for the lusts of the flesh ; and having confessed Him before men, they will be accepted in Him the Beloved, and acknowledged by Him in the presence of his Father and the holy angels. 12th. Our Quarterly Meeting having appointed a committee 4^0 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. to visit Muncj Monthly Meeting, and its branches, four of them left Philadelphia in the ears for Pottsville, near the head of the Sehujdkill Eiver, about ninety-one miles from the city, which we reached about one o'clock ; dined there, and took stage for Danville, on the north branch of the Susquehanna, about thirty- six miles from this place. The road crosses several mountainous ridges, very much through a coal and woody country, from the mines in which, thousand of tons of the former, are sent an- nually to Philadelphia. We got into Danville about twelve o'clock at night, and being fatigued, w^e soon retired to bed. 13th. Eose refreshed, and after breakfasting and walking in the town, we set out, with carriage and horses, procured here for our accommodation, and rode to Grreenwood, where we put up at our friend D. M.'s. The weather was fine, and the road good, and we were kindly received and entertained. 14th. First-day. Some notice having been spread, a pretty large company, composed of the few Friends belonging to the meeting, and their neighbors, assembled; and although it did not feel to me to be a very quickening time, yet through Divine kindness, ability was received to preach Chi-ist crucified without the gates of Jerusalem, as the way to the Father; the only name under heaven, given among men, whereby we must be saved, now glorified with the Father, and appearing by his light, grace or good spirit, in the heart, to destroy the works of Satan in man, and to bring in everlasting righteousness in jjlace there- of. The meeting was solid, and I hope good impressions wore made. In the afternoon we had a pleasant ride over the Muncy hills, the road being ver}' good ; and near dusk got to the residence of J. Haines, where we met with a hospitable reception. 1 had occasional conversation w^ith Jesse Haines, his father, a minister, now in his ninety-fourth year; whose fiiculties ap- pear to be strong, and his religious sensibility quick and clear. 16th. In the morning, while sitting by Jesse Haines, he re- marked that he expected we had been sent hei"e by a higher power than the Quarterly Meeting, and my desire is, he said, that the people may receive the engrafted word. I replied, our desire was that the quickening power might be renewedly felt, and something known of being raised into newness of life. We set out pretty early fur Elkhmds ; some part of the mountain road was rough and fatiguing, but we reached the settlement JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVAXS. 451 before it was quite dnsk, and were made welcome at J. McCar- ty's, by several of his children, who reside with him. 17th. Eode five miles to their Preparative Meeting. The weather was wet ; and the stirrings of Divine life were low. Feeling the spirit of supplication, petitions were vocally put up to the Lord our God, that in mercy and compassion. He would regard the conditions of all present. There appeared to be some concerned Friends among them, and we had hope, the}' would be more fully awakened to a sense of the necessity of being with- drawn from the improper pursuit of the things of time, and cherish a more fervent concern for the prosperity of truth, than it is to be feared most are now sensible of. 18th. Before leaving the next morning, we had a religious opportunity with the Friends where we stayed. In the evening, being at the house of Jesse McCarty, we had a meeting with some Friends, in which the advantage and duty of waiting upon the Lord, were in some measure set forth ; and those present were warned against being swallowed up with the pursuit of lawful things ; and encouraged to devote themselves to the Lord's service, out of meetings as well as in them. Were this their labor and experience, there are some among them who would become lights in that place, and helpers in the church of Christ. The importance of rightly maintaining the discipline, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, was also laid before them. 19th. We rode back to Muncy, and Avere thankful to be again landed among our friends there, in safety. Visited several families of Friends, in two of which, we had religious opportunities, laboring to arouse them from their lukewarmness, and pressing upon them the necessity of know- ing the work of salvation to be accomplished, while the day of mercy lasts. 21st. Attended the first-day meeting. I felt drawn to hold forth a word of encouragement, to those who were honestlj' en- deavoring to stand for the Truth. Also to show to others, that if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away, and all things become new, and all things of God. That however valuable a belief of the truths of the gospel un- doubtedly is, it will not be sufficient, where it is only literal or educational. We must know the new creation ; the heart sanc- tified, so as to be prepared as a temple for the Lord to dwell in. 452 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. He will not dwell in a defiled hcai't. I felt his humbling power, Boftening my heart towards the people, especially the younger part of the company; and under its heavenly influence, the spring of the gospel was opened, and the Lord gave the word for the different states ; some of which, I believed, w^ere ten- derly reached ; and we had cause to return thanks to Him for his renewed aid, and Divine presence. In the afternoon, we rode to Greenwood, the weather being wet ; it became dark be- fore we reached the house of our friends D. M. and wife, by whom we were kindly received. 22d. In the Preparative Meeting, adjourned to this day at our request, a qualification was again furnished to preach the gospel ; holding forth the doctrine of Christ, to place the king- dom of heaven, and the righteousness thereof, above all other pursuits in this world. After dining, we called upon several families, in most of which we were engaged to labor for their encouragement, and faithfulness to their religious duties. True zeal is greatly wanting, and the number of Friends is now small. 23d. Eeturned to Muncy this morning. Their Select Pre- parative Meeting being held this afternoon, we attended it. 24th. We were at Muncy Monthly Meeting this morning. We sat a lono; time in silence. Though clothed with fear of speaking without it was required, I also felt afraid to omit what was ni}" duty to do. In this state, the language of our blessed Redeemer, " Whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; and whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant," was brought before me ; accompanied with the belief, that some had need of being humbled and reduced, to prepare them for his government and kingdom, and to be made use of by Him in his household. •' And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, and said, Verily I say unto you, except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." The indisi^en- sable need of self-reduction, and laying aside all reliance on our own wisdom and strength, that wo ma}^ be fitted for member- ship in the church of Christ, was held forth among them. "If any man among you soemeth to be wise in this world, let him be- come a fool that he may bo wise." We cannot enter the sheep- fold but by Christ, the door; nor into the narrow way, but through the strait gate ; and those who thus cntei', Avill bo pre- pared, as they keep obedient to Him, to receive gifts, and to JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 453 know their services appointed to them, hy the Great Head of the church. I. believe lie was with us and carried home to some, the important truths declared among them. In the Monthly Meeting-, the minute of the Quarterly Meet- ing, appointing the committee, was recoi-ded; and it was a satis- faction to the committee, to feel that their efforts amoncr them, were well received ; and we hoped the bond of christian love and fellowship, was a little strengthened. After dining, wc set out for Danville, w^iich we reached about eight o'clock ; the road, though part of it mountainous, Avas generally good, and the evening was clear and moonlight. Lodged there, and early the following morning, took stage for Pottsvillo ; arrived there before two, and before seven o'clock in the evening, were landed at our beloved homes, a distance of one hundred and fifty miles from Muncy. Poverty of spirit, and the absence of all ability to do anything in the Lord's work, has been my clothing for days, since our return ; all in mercy and great condescensions from Him who alone can strip, and humble man into the dust j that no flesh may attempt to glory in his presence. 30th. I accompanied my beloved wife to Frankford Monthly Meeting, before which she laid a concern to visit their families, and received the cordial unity of the meeting with her prospect. Li the first meeting we were both strengthened to declare the gospel. That there is no new doctrine to pi'cach ; no new way found out to the everlasting kingdom of rest and peace ; but that Christ is the way, the truth, and the life, and it is through obe- dience to Him, under the daily cross, that He brings any to the Father. The dear young people were affectionately warned against disobedience, and pleaded with to yield to the visita- tions of Divine love. Fi-iends were kind and loving, and we returned home in peace. Eleventh m.onth 3d. AYas our Select Quarterly Meeting, from which sevei'al members were absent. 5th. We had a very large Quarterly Meeting for worship. It was quiet and held under a degree of solemnity. This was the case with the Meeting for Discipline also. When the Queries were gone through, I felt constrained to encourage Friends to keep to all our religious meetings ; also to warn some against supporting an}' cause that is advei'se to the cause of Christ, and which He raised Friends up to support; or to attempt 30 454 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. to support his cause in an unchristian spirit; either of which, will create disunity. The time is coming when all will be judged, and no party combination can come between euch, and Him who searcheth the heart, and showeth unto man what his thoughts are ; and will reward every man according to his deeds. 11th. Some temporal concerns have pressed upon me pretty heavily for several days; in which the heavens also seemed wrapped in darkness, and faith, to enable me to look to and trust in the Preserver of men, reduced low. In the forepart of our meeting, this morning, it was difficult to withdraw the mind from those distracting, worldly things, which brought me under distress. Our friend Eobert Scotton was opened, in a lively manner, upon the states of outside professors, who were striving to satisfy themselves with their own doings, while the precious seed of the kingdom was oppressed, and choked by the love and pursuit of worldly gratifications; and in the midst of which they were ignorant of the resurrection of the life and power of godliness into dominion. He also ministered to those who were suffering with this oppressed seed, and encouraged them to faithful endurance, though the Lord might try them long with hiding his face from them; but as they kept patient under his dispensation, He would cause the clouds to disperse, and again appear for their comfort. The Lord's humbling hand was laid upon me, constraining me to bow before Him, and publicly petition that in his unutterable and unmerited mercy, He would continue to be round about his children, older and younger, and defend them from the jaws of the devouror. Thou knowest all the trials of those, who are travailing for the arising of the seed of life ; be with them, we humbly pray thee, and string their bow in the day of battle ; and with thy ministers ; Oh! be unto them, mouth and wisdom, tongue and utterance. Watch over, we beseech thee, the dear childi^en, when out from under the eye of their parents and friends, and keep thorn from doing anything that will grieve thy Holy Spirit, or bring dis- honor upon themselves and thy precious cause. In this manner my spirit was poured out, in brokenness and contrition, before the Lord and his people; which brought solemnity over the meeting ; and praise, might, majesty and dominion, were ascribed unto the Lord God, and to his dear Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, who only are worthy. Many were tenderly bowed under the JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 455 merciful extension of Divine regard to us, poor unworthy crea- tures. The load upon mo was lightened, and I went on my way rejoicing. CHAPTEE XXIII. 1849—1850. Religious Engagements in Philadelphia — Attendance at neighboring Meetings — Religious Visit to the Meetings in New Jersey — Services at and near Home — Reflections respecting the Mexican War. 1849, Eleventh mouth 13th. This day I attended the North Meeting, and found a very large collection of Friends and others convened on account of a marriage. After some time of silence, in which I believe some were brought under exercise that the meeting might be held with solemnity, I felt drawn to mention that marriage is a Divine ordinance ; and where entered into, in the fear of the Lord, and the parties are concerned to do His will to the end of their days, it conveys many blessings ; not only in things of an earthly nature, in w-hich they are helpmeets to one another ; but, each following their Lord and Master in the work of regeneration, they are made a strength and en- couragement to each other in the holy way to everlasting bless- edness. Many things were opened to the people ; a considera- ble part of w^hom did not appear to be Friends, and great still- ness, and I hope solemnity, prevailed. 15th. Went to the Arch Street meeting under an apprehen- sion of religious duty. I felt constrained to speak of the con- tinued preservation from the power of the tempter to lead into sin, which is extended, in great mercy, to those who mind the Light of Christ, in its convictions and leadings in the heart. Those who are the Lord's workmanship, created anew in Christ Jesus, He will not desert nor overlook, but they will be kept by Him from youth to old age ; and being faithful, will become pillars in his house that shall go no more out. To those who are slighting the pleadings of his Spirit, and joining the friend- ships and maxims of the world, a pressing invitation was given to examine their condition in that light which cannot deceive. 456 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. For what will all the gold they can accumulate, avail in that day when they arc summoned to appear before the judgment seat of Christ ? It cannot procure Divine approbation, or an entrance into heaven. While such are disregarding the repeated calls to holiness, and seeking their satisfaction elsewhere, they will be- come darkened, and be deceived with false pretensions to peace. 22d. My dear wife having been engaged about ten days in visit- ing the families of Frankford Monthly Meeting, I went to meet her at Germantown Meeting this morning. We were favored with the breaking of heavenly bread, throixgh the great condescension of the Lord ; the alone Succorer and Helper of his people. 25th. During the forepart of the meeting this morning, the power of dai'kness, through various insinuations of the enemy, so strove in me, that there seemed little hope of gaining the ascen- dency over it; but after a season of conflict, the Master conde- scended to appear, when Satan fled, and a great change was experienced ; and ability was afforded to testify to the blessedness of waiting for, and looking to Christ, who is over all the power of the enemy. He it is, who will give to the thirsty, panting soul, the living w^ater, of which those who drink, will desire no other. Twelfth month 10th. Several late occurrences of a distress- ing nature, in which I w^as not concerned, have tended to pro- duce depression ; which was increased by a remark that I made on a certain occasion under the influence of a little excitement, which although the motive was good, gave me no little uneasi- ness. This morning the language of the Saviour passed through my mind, " Why are ye so fearful, O ye of little faith ?" I was afraid to attempt to banish fear, lest the affliction should not have all the effect which it should produce ; but the language of the compassionate High Priest gave mo comfort and hope, that no evil resulted from my remark, and through the day my mind has been calm and peaceful. Oh what poor, weak crea- tures we are ; and the Lord has his means to make us sensible of it. These dispensations humble us, and increase our charity for others. ■• 11th. This morning I felt an unexpected intimation to go to the North Meeting. The striking and encouraging character "•iven of the Saviour by the proj)hct, was feelingly brought be- fore my mind, representing his gentleness and tendei-ness. "Ho shall not strive nor cry ; neither shall any man hear His voice in the streets. A bruised reed shall He not break, and smokinortunit3^, and I hope profitable. After dining, we went in company with some Friends to Stony brook, and had a meeting at four o'clock, with Friends and others who usually meet there. The number of the former was very small, few bearing the appearance of Friends. The condition of some, who had once known the Day-Spring from on high, and been brought into the love of Christ, but were now in a different state, was spoken to. The impossibility of anything that man could invent and substitute, giving life to the soul, and bringing it to the saving knowledge of God and of his son Jesus Christ, not even the Scriptures, but Christ himself, by the immediate operation and revelation of his own Spirit, were clearly declared unto them. The doctrine of the Saviour, that to enter the king- dom of heaven, we must become as a little child; in which state we are prepared to be taught of Him, and in which true greatness consists, was enforced. It was not a season of much rejoicing, though I trust some were brought under religious feeling ; and I left them with a quiet mind. The next morning we set out for Eahway, which we reached early in the afternoon, and took up our lodgings at Joseph D. Shotwell's. Sixth month 2d. Attended their first-day meeting ; in which there was a qualification vouchsafed, to search Jerusalem as with candles, and to warn some of the danger they were exposed to, through an eager pursuit of the world, and being drawn into an alliance with its fashions and customs ; as well as from the in- fluence of other spirits, who are at enmity with the cross of Christ, while professing a respect for religion. Thej' were re- minded, that while we might be courteous, as a Christian is bound to be, that love without obedience is of little more worth than faith without works. Our Lord declared, " If a man love me, he will keep my words, and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him." It is 474 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. only by obedience to the grace of Christ Jesus, that the heart can be changed and sanctified, and thus prepared for the Lord, to dwell in, by his Spirit. The matter being furnished, flowed freely, and many truths of the evei-lasting gospel were clearly opened. The spirit of supplication being felt, prayer was put up. The minds of some were tenderly wrought upon ; but a few of the worldly young men, though respectful, appeared to cast off or lightly esteem the obligations of religion, and the simpli- city of its character and requirings. We returned to J. D. Shotwell's, and before leaving, several Friends being there, a little opportunity presented, to remind some, of the responsibility of the stations they occupied. To them the young people looked for examples, and the need there is, to draw them to Christ, by their conduct and spirits, that they too may learn of Him. 3d. Word having been sent for a meeting at Plainfield, on second-day afternoon, H. W. piloted us there. We dined at our very kind and hospitable friend's, N. Vail. The meeting, com- posed chiefly of persons not Friends, was not a very lively one to me; yet I endeavored to discharge what appeared to be my duty. 4th. The weather, after being cool for the time of year, was fine to-day; and though warm, we got to Trenton about one o'clock, and crossed the Delaware. Next morning, riding to Bristol, we crossed in a steamboat to Burlington, and proceeded to our friend Henry Warrington's, at Westfield. Here we were received with his usual kindness; there being few who are more thoroughly sincere in their attentions to their friends, than he is. He is a true lover of the truth, and of the friends of truth, and heartily devoted to serve them and the blessed cause of the Bcdoemer. I regard him as a pattern of Christian polite- ness and humility, without ostentatious display. In the after- noon, he took us to see our friend Samuel Leeds, with whom we had cheerful I'cligious converse. 6th. Attended the usual mid-week meeting. The language passed through my mind pretty early after sitting down, Is there any growth in the Truth among you? I hoped that among so many goodly looking Friends, it might be answered in the affirmative, yet felt a fear it was not so fully the case a;* ought to be. The Master, I trust, qualified to enter a little into the state of the meeting, and to show that those who are faith- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 475 fill in a little, will be made rulers over more ; and will be fav- ored to see the beauty, order and strength of the church of Christ, the Lamb's wife ; and as they persevere, receive gifts to be occupied in their respective places, to bis honor, and the benefit one of another. The exei'cise of parents for the ever- lasting welfare of their children, on whose account, as they rightly value the salvation of their own souls, their prayers and tears will often be poured forth, was spread before them, and the tendering power of the Holy Spirit appeared to be over some. Samuel Leeds closed the opportunity with supplication for Divine preservation for us all, and with thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father, for the renewed visitation of his goodness at this time. I w^as clothed with weakness, and a sense of unwor- thiness, yet hoped the pure mind was stirred up in not a few. We returned to our friend H. Warrington's ; and after dinner, my kind and attentive companion S. N. took me down to Cam- den, where we parted, with increased affection for each other. I then crossed the Delaware to my own home, where I found my beloved wife and fiimily in good health, and glad to receive me. The feeling of sweet peace clothed my mind, with gratitude to the Lord for his preserving power, and the ability which He furnished for the work whereunto I believed He had called me. 9Lh. First-day morning we had our friend Samuel Bettle, Sr., to minister to us. Parts of his communication were parti- cularly instructive, and of a practical nature. My dear wife followed him in fervent supplication, and I hoped the Truth did not lose ground among us. 12th. Emptiness and poverty have been my portion, accom- panied with mournful reflections upon the state of our religious Society. Will not the Lord have compassion upon us, and turn our hearts more to one another, with unfeigned love, and prayer for defence from the stratagems of the enemy ; whereby he i--? constantly Ij'ing in wait, to beguile from the innocency of the Truth, that he ma}* lay us waste individually and as a peojile ! Ai"ise, O Lord, thou and the ark of thy strength. Let thy priests be clothed with righteousness ; and cause thy saints once more to shout for joy, because thou hast taken the government into thy hands, and rebuked the enemy, and brought us to see eye to eye in thy light. 23d. Went to our son-in-law's. Bear Grermantown, and lodg- ed ; and next morning my wife and myself went with them to G. 476 JOURNAL OF WILLTAM EVANS. S.'s, and attended Abing-tou Monthly Meeting. Tlie}' are a small compan}^ but mostly sincerel}- attached to our testimonies, and in their lives show their desire to support them. Ihe s])ring of the ministry was opened for their comfort and admonition ; that the}^ might not be deterred from faithfully pursuing their dut}', eitlier through discouragement, or the attractions of worldly things. They were reminded of Friends being a small company at their commencement ; but waiting patiently uj)on the Lord, they grew in the Truth, and received gifts to edify one another, and gather many to the fold of Christ. The visit appeared to be acceptable, and we rode back to Grermantowu. 26th. Our Monthly Meeting was held to-day ; at which T returned the minute furnished for visiting the meetings of New Jerse}', and informed Friends the service had been accomplished, to the jjeace and satisfaction of my own mind; having been at all the meetings but one. In the evening we again went to Germantown, and next morning were taken to Gwynedd, where we attended the Month- ly Meeting. A committee of the Quarterly Meeting was there, appointed, in conseqnence of their reduced state, to aid them in the management of the business. Tlie women's meeting is much larger than the men's, and they were without such aid. I thought a fresh qnalification was granted for preaching thegos- ])el to them. The business Avas conducted suitably, though but few to speak to it. We dined with J. S.'s widow, and two sis- ters, who received and entertained us with much cordiality. 28lh. My dear sister H. Khoads came to town, in order to pro- ceed to New York, to embark for Liverpool, on her religious visit to Friends. In the evening after taking tea with her and others, at my brother Charles', several Friends came in ; which furnish- ed an opportunity for feelings of sympathy with her, and of imparting to one another the word of comfort and caution, in which Samuel Bettle, Sr., and several others participated. We hoped the retrospect woidd be satisfactory to her in a distant land, as it was grateful to us, to part under such feelings. 29th. H. Ehoads, and Elizabeth Peirson, her companion, with several of their relatives and friends, went in the early morning line to New York, where the shi}) lay in Avhich they were to sail for England. We were disappointed in finding she had fallen below the cit}", so that Ave could not see them on boai'd, without going down the bay, and not return until after night. JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 477 J. Ehoads and T. Evans accompanied them, takin^,^ the risk of being detained in the night. They got back to Xew York in the evening, leaving our friends pretty cheerful ; and the rest of the company reached Philadelphia about nine o'clock the same evening. The ship got under weigh, we suppose, next morning. Seventh month 4th. This morning, before rising, there seem- ed to be a gentle pointing to the Arch Street Meeting, where I had not been since the Quarterly Meeting. When there the life was low, and I felt borne down with discouraging thoughts ; but finally the necessity of daily and hourly living in the fear of the Lord, and maintaining the watch, that we might be de- livered from the various snares and temptations with which we are surrounded, came before me, with the intimation to rise with it. The importance of young people beginning early in life to cherish this fear, and the daily practice of v.^atching against and resisting temptation, by the aid of the Lord's Holy Spirit, was spread before them. The apostle exhorted the be- lievers to resist the devil and he would flee from them ; which was found to be true by the Lord's children and servants, down to the present day. The declaration concerning Levi was, " My covenant of life and peace was with him, which I gave unto him for the fear with which he feai'ed me, and was afraid before my name." As this holy fear is kept, the Captain of sal- vation will keep us, and establish us upon the immovable foun- dation ; give us the testimony that we are his, and when the end comes, receive us into the arms of everlasting mercy, which will be of more value than all the world can give, could we pos- sess it. 9th. From an apprehension of duty, I went to the Northern District Meeting; and in the course of our silent waiting, the peace and safety of being brought to feel ourselves as the least of the Lord's children, came before me, with the testimony of the apostle Paul, that he was less than the least of all saints. It felt to me there was great sweetness of spirit enjoyed at times in this humble state. We were enabled in it, to bear being trampled on, if it was the Lord's will to permit it; while others may seem to reign as kings without us. Here we experience Divine support ; and when we are let down into baptism and suffering for our own sakes, and the body's, our Lord will be with us ; and when our faith has been tried, He will show Him- self to be the resurrection and the life ; giving renewed qualifi- 478 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. cation to sj^eak to tlic praise of his excellent name. The lan- guage of encouragement was held out to some who had their peculiar trials to bear, that they might humble themselves as a little child, and thereby, according to our Lord's doctrine, be great in the kingdom of heaven. For if there is anything per- taining to us, that will bear the uame of greatness, it is in being constantly clothed with the garment of humility This afternoon a fire commenced in a store on the wharf, a little below Yine Street, partly occupied with bales of hay; and either in that or the adjoining building, it is said, a quantity of saltpetre was stored. After the fire had progressed some time, one or two explosions took place, which did not create much alarm ; but the fire spreading and the heat increasing, a tre- mendous burst followed, thi'owing down the walls, and carrying high up into the air, a large quantity of ignited matter, which was carried by the wind on to the neighboring houses. It proved to be the most extensive and destructive conflagration our city has ever suffered from. How suddenly and unlooked for, have a large number of families been turned into the streets, dependent upon their friends, and the public, to provide them with temporary accommodations. Instruction ought to be sealed upon our minds, of the uncertainty of everything we now possess ; and of our duty to look to our Heavenly Father for protection, with reliance upon Him for all we have and need. We should thus, at least, be in the best condition of mind, to meet such a calami- ty, were it i:)crmitted to overtake us; not having to charge our- selves with self-confidence, or with forgetfulness of w4iat we owe to our great and gracious Benefactor. 28th. This morning, as we sat at the breakfast table, being first-day, our beloved, absent sister H. Ehoads, was brought into view. Our sympathies were drawn forth towards her; ac- companied with sincere desires that she may be favored of the Lord, to see the path of duty which He assigns, and with wis- dom and authority, to pursue it to his praise and the good of the people. This morning I went to Germantown, in order to be at the meeting there ; having a secret drawing to be with them. I got in a little after the b'riends had generally convened. The testimony was raised, tliat the Lord's tender mercies arc still over all his works; extoided even to the rebellious, and to those who love and serve Him. I was enabled to declare of the JOUIINAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 479 new and liviiin- way, that was opened by the blood of Jesus, and of the gift of grace purchased by Him ; by obedience to which, iill may come to have access to God by this new way, and to worship Him in spirit, and pour forth their prayers to Him. To the rebellious, the danger of neglecting the proffered salva- tion, by suffering the da}'' of visitation to pass away unimpro- ved, was held out. Those who have given up and made sacri- fices, but from whom the Beloved of souls had hid his face, were encouraged to keep fast hold of their faith, however much reduced, and He would, when the dispensation had accomi^lish- ed its purpose, again cause his face to shine upon them, show them with clearness their duties in his church, and give wis- dom and strength to fulfil them. The aged who held fast their integrity to the Lord, when the pow- ers of body and mind were weakening, would know Him who took them in his arms in the day of their espousals, to renew their strength as the eagle ; enabling them to rise above the tribulations of time, and animate them with holy hope and confidence, that in the end an admittance would be granted into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I hoj)ed there were some serious and cheering feelings brought over the different classes. 30th. Our city has been in a state of tumult to-day, by a great procession, in honor of the late deceased President. Such parades are opposed to the spirit of Christianity, both in the un- warrantable expense of money for mere display; drawing off many people from their business, whose means do not admit of it, and paying such adulation to a poor fallible being, cut off suddenly in the midst of the honors which were being heaped on him. It seemed to me that such mockery of mourning w^as more likely to call doAvn upon us Divine judgment, in some form, than the approbation of Him, who is a God judging in the earth. The Mexican war, in which Z. Taylor was one of the chief actors, was a war of great atrocity, undertaken to enlarge the Slave States, and their influence in our government. The territor}^ wrested from Mexico has proved a source of great and bitter contention, between the Free and Slave States, threaten- ing the dissolution of our Union, and failing to secure the object for which it was undertaken. The number of disasters and calamities, involving the destruction of the lives of many of our owni citizens, and the loss of much property, by fires and other- wise, has been very striking, and leads the watchful, reflecting 480 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. mind, to the apprehension, that inasmuch as the United States, by their armies, have wantonly destroyed the lives of hundreds of unoffending people. Divine Providence has, in part, withdrawn his protecting power, and suffered these things to overtake us, as retribution for our great sins against the Mexicans, and against the poor negro ; for whom, the slaveholder was p)repar- ing a market, that he might enrich himself by the sale of his fellow man. The confusion in which our Congress has been placed, for the eight months of this session, is a further evi- dence, that the Lord has deprived them of the wisdom, ability and harmony which enabled them to despatch their business in sessions back; and it may be still more withdrawn, to show us that our government is not so permanent as we have imagined. " Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." CHAPTEE XXIY. 1850—1851. Various Eeligious Engagements within Philadelphia Yearly Meeting — Lib- erated to pay a Religious Visit within Indiana Yearly Meeting. 1850, Eighth month 14th. We shut up our house and went to stay a few days with our beloved brothers, and families, at Spi'ingfield. 15th. Attended their meetings ; in which we both had some service, I hope to the encouragement of the right-minded. 19th. We went to Concord and attended the Select Quarterly Meeting ; in which the way opened to encourage all, to keep on the watch tower, waiting for the coming of their Lord, even if they must remain in their ward whole nights. The dispensa- tions of the withdrawing of the Heavenly countenance are for our good, and if properly endured, prepare us to receive the Lord at his coming, and a qualification to testify of his power and goodness; and to labor to gather others into the love of Christ. 20th. Attended the Quarterly Meeting for Discipline under great weakness ; thci-c seeming to be little ability to advocate JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 481 the good cause. In the second meeting there was a concern felt, to call Friends to greater degrees of true fellowship, in that love which the apostle alludes to, when he said, " It is in our hearts to live and to die with you." As we are clothed with this love, we shall keep a guard over our tongues, and take care not to speak of others, in connection with anything that will lay waste their religious standing. Our brother, Joseph Rhoads, concluding to accompany us to the Western Quarterly Meeting, we set out after dinner. 23d. Eode to London Grove, and when the Meeting con- vened, we found it much larger than we expected, many Friends from Concord, and some from Cain Quarter being there. My dear wife was engaged in vocal supplication, that He who breathed ujion the dry bones in the valley, would condescend to work by his mighty power upon many, and prepare them to stand as an army for his cause; and also for the dear children. P. E. followed her in testimony. Afterwards I was constrained to bear testimony to the Messiah, the Prince of Peace, the Shiloh of Grod, to whom the gathering of the people is to be. Who, when He came in the flesh, declared, that as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so shall the Son of Man be lifted up ; and, that when He was lifted up, he would draw all men unto Him. The people were invited to come to Christ in his spirit- ual appearance in the heart, and to obey his Divine requisitions as made known there ; that they may be brought out of their earthly conditions, and qualified to promote the spreading of his kingdom, by turning others to righteousness. The business of the meeting was transacted in a becoming spirit; the impor- tance of waiting upon the Lord for wisdom and right direction in the Meetings for Discipline, was affectionately spread before them. In the afternoon we accompanied our dear friends, J. and S. W. to their habitation. Parts of the road being through a luxuriant country, beautifully diversified with hills and val- leys, woods and grass fields, we enjoyed the ride. In the follow- ing morning, we had a religious opportunity with our friends and some young people. 26 th. Was held Chester Monthly Meeting at Springfield, and a pretty large company gathered. I was fervently engaged to warn Friends of the danger of making idols of the temporal blessings with w^hich we are so abundantly surrounded; forget- ting and neglecting the duties and the ffratitude which we owe 482 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. to the Great Giver. For all those things, we must give account in the day of judgment. If we are delighting and aggrandizing ourselves with them, and growing in self-importaiice, the lan- guage from one of the holy watchers may go forth, " Hew down the tree, and cut off the branches ;" and awfal will be the con- dition of such. Such were called upon to come again to Bethel, and through holy help, renew their covenants with the Lord ; that so the}^ may again experience that humility and tenderness, which they were once favored with. It was a solemn opportu- nity, in which I hoped the Truth had the dominion ; and Friends parted with feelings of near affection. We rode back into the city. It was pleasant to get again under our own roof, where the feelings of joeace and comfort are so often enjoyed. Ninth month 10th. Went to the North Meeting ; which, for the middle of the week, was quite large. I sat, perhaps, nearly an hour, during which many presentations passed before me. Finally the happy condition of those w^ho were brought as chil- dren into the Lord's fomily, and wei^e preserved in it to the end, even to old age, came livingly before me ; and through the blessed openings of the Key of David, I was enabled to enlarge upon the jirogress, baptisms, preservations and deliverances of these, to the comfort and strength, I hope, of some present. To those who had been often called, yet turned the back upon the heavenly visitant, a voice of solemn w^arning went forth ; and the mourners were encouraged to hold fast their confidence firm to the end. I came away w^ith a peaceful, cheered mind. 18th. Went to Germantown, and the next morning being the meeting day there, I attended it. The danger of sw^erving from the path of holiness, after being brought into it, and the indis- pensable necessity of giving up all that is called for, that a growth and an establishment in the Truth may be attained, were held forth among them. Some unstable ones, who at one time are made sensible of Divine convictions, and then are turn- ing away, and forgetting what manner of persons tlioy have seen themselves to be, and taking delight in things not accord- ing to the requirements of the Holy Spirit, were tenderly en- treated to renew their covei»ant8 M'ith the Lord in the day of visitation, and seek for strength to keep them faithfully unto the end. 1 believe that holy help was jjrosent, qualifying to search into the states of some. Tenth month 5th. 1 am sixty-three years old this day. JOURNAL OP WILT.TAM EVANS. 483 Thoughts of the race being nearly run ; and the possibility of its being brought to a close earlier than I may anticipate, pro- duce feelings of a serious kind, and desires to bo making ready for the solemn moment of death. 6th. First-day moiming. Our meeting still reduced. After sitting an hour, and feeling much poverty, I was constrained to testify, that a manifestation of the Holy Spirit was given to every man, to enable him to work out his salvation. That it reveals sin in the heart, and affords the strength which alone can deliver from it. This grace and truth come by Jesus Christ ; who not only was offered upon the cross, a proj^itiatory sacrifice for the sins of all mankind, but also purchased for all, this Di- vine Grace, which teacheth us to deny all ungodliness, and the world's lusts, and to live soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world. As it is obeyed, it regenerates the dark heart, ' and gives true faith in the Son of God, and prepares us to receive a Divine understanding of the Scriptures ; which were written by holy men under the guidance of the Sj^irit of Christ. It alone can give a true sense and belief of them. It felt to me that there were some present who had fallen into a state of un- belief, through the despite which they had committed against this grace ; and by trampling under foot the blood of the cove- nant, by which alone they can be sanctified, they were nigh to denying the Lord that bought them. The great change that had been wrought in many unbelievers, who were brought to receive Christ into their hearts and to obey Him, so that they experienced, like the man out of whom the devils were cast, what it is to be clothed and in their right mind ; nnd who then desired and loved nothing so much as to sit at Jesus' feet, was laid before them. He who appeared in the midst of his disci- ples, the doors being shut, and called on Thomas to put his fingers into the print of the nails, and thrust his band into the hole in his side, made by the soldier's spear, and be not faithless, but believing, and when Thomas had done so, and said, my Lord and my God; is an omnipresent, as well as omnipotent Saviour. Not only all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hid in Him ; but all power in heaven and in earth is given unto Him ; and He alone can give true faith, and enable us to believe in Him, and give power to become the sons of God. Many things connected with the work of salvation, until we come to be es- 484 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. tablished upon Him, the Eock and Foundation, against which the gates of hell cannot prevail, Avere opened. 12th. My dear wife, in company with S. C, and my brother Joseph Evans, left home to visit the meetings of Exeter, Maiden Creek, Greenwood, Muncy and Elldands. The weather was very fine, and if no accident befall them, everything seemed to bid fair for a prosperous journey, if the Lord be their guide and blessed helper; which it is my hope for them will be the case. 13th. At our first-day meeting, the company was a little in- creased. A warning was sounded among them against a light, scoffing spirit, on the subject of religion, and respecting the consci- entious scruples of men and women who fear God, and endeavor to walk according to his will. Eriends were called to the work of religion in themselves ; that every thing of a light and chaffy nature might be destroyed, and a solid and weighty frame of mind might take the place of it, so that they may be examples of purity and self-denial, and a standing protest against the wick- edness and abominations that run like a torrent through our land. They were warned against countenancing the vain ex- hibitions and amusements that evil men and women, strolling up and down, were inviting the people to. Many peojjle who make a profession of religion, make no scruple in frequenting such places, and by their example encourage others to do the same. How can such be clear of the blood of their fellow men, while leading them into the paths of wickedness, and away from the footsteps of Christ's companions? But those who turn their back on all the temptations of Satan, and follow the great Cap- tain of salvation, will know Him to give power over all the powers of the enemy ; and that he can deliver those who sin- cerely desire to come unto God by him. I left the meeting un- der a sense of Divine sweetness and peace, in having given up to do what I believed the Lord called for, though I had shrunk from it, lest I might act without my guide. 17th. My brother-in-law, J. Ehoads, having been indisposed, I was drawn, in sympathizing with him in his lonely feelings, on account of the absence of his valuable wife, to make him a visit, and to attend their meeting. The meeting was small. Un- expectedly, the subject of the growth of tree^ presented to me. Planted, when like small switches, yet if properly cared for, and defended fi*om injury, gradually growing, and finally becom- ing valuable for fruit, or for shade and beauty. So it appeared JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 485 tc me to be with ti-ecs of the Lord's planting. As they are cherished and preserved from the enemies they arc exposed to, they experience a growth in grace ; their root strikes downward in the heavenly soil, and they bring forth fruit to the praise of the Great Husbandmen, and finally they are established in the house of the Lord, and flourish in the courts of our (Jod. He beautifies and dignifies such in his church, and enables them to glorif}' Him in their generation. They become pillars in the house of our God, that shall go no more out ; and He writes upon them the name of our God, and the name of the city of our God, whicli is New Jerusalem ; and He will write upon them his new JS^ame. It was a day of favor ; in which the hearts of some of the mourners were made glad, and the dear young people cheered to hold on their way. 28th. The unsettled state of almost all the governments in Chris- tendom, and the excitement among Protestants, in consequence of the attempt of the pope to resuscitate the Eoman Catholic hierarchy in England, showing the unextinguished craving in that corrupt and antichristian church, for universal dominion, have a depressing effect on those, w^ho travail in spirit for the more glorious breaking forth and spreading of Christ's kingdom in the earth. The bold effort made there, may have been per- mitted, to rouse up Protestants to examine how near they ap- proach that degenerate body, in their reverence of the beggarly elements and superstitious ceremonies, that have no relation to the spiritual, regenerating religion of our Lord Jesus Christ. A further consequence may be the more open exposure of the abominations committed by the Eomish church, and thereb}' pave the way for its downfall, and the arising of the light of the glorious gospel of Christ ; before which all ceremonial rites and practices will fade away. I have a secret hope that the Lord is at work to bring about a more settled state of our religious Society; to bring forth some whom He has been preparing to stand more openly and boldly for its christian doctrines, testimonies and discipline ; and to rebuke the spirit that has been at work, to divide and scatter, by upholding those who have attempted to bring in unsound opinions, and giving liberty to go into things which the Truth is against. After enduring much secret suffering, in which there seemed few to sympathize and to strengthen ; as I sat in my parlor, 32 486 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. ■waiting upon the Lord, there was a secret, undeniable sense granted, that the Lord beheld me in my trials and fears, on account of our poor Society ; and my heart was comforted, and my faith renewed, that his gracious eye is constantly beholding his tribulated children. May we not hope, that the clouds with which we have been so long surrounded, are preparing to break away. This morning, I felt an intimation to go to the Arch Street Monthly Meeting, where I had not been for many months. The advantage and safety in being brought into a humble, lowly condition of mind, in which the strength of man is turned as into weakness and nothingness, was opened before me; and after a Friend had spoken, I believed it required of me, to stand up with this matter. Though our faith may be reduced very much, yet as we do not wrest ourselves from under this dispen- sation, to seek relief from some outward source, the Lord in his time Avould appear, and by the testimony of his Spirit, enable us to say, "Thou, God, seest me." The precious stream of the ministry rose a little, and flowed forth, to the refreshing of not a few. The dear school children were also called upon, to obey the tender convictions of their Saviour's spirit. The business of the meeting was transacted with weight, and a proper feeling of its importance; and I hope we w^ere a little cheered with the pre- sent evidence of Divine good in the midst; and with the re- newal of faith, that the light which first visited the members, and gathered our religious Society, would yet break foi'th in thousands; and the precious cause be spread by us in the earth. I came away with the feeling of heavenly peace, and lowliness of mind before the Lord ; and therein desire to be preserved, and to give unto Him at all times, the glory and honor which are his due alone. Twelfth month 2d. It will be a great favor if Divine Power rises into dominion among us, so as to animate and strengthen -right-minded Friends, to come out boldly on the Lord's side, and on behalf of our testimonies ; that so the self-denial, the humil- ity, the simplicity, and the inwardness of spirit, which charac- terized our first Friends, may be revived, and shine forth con- spicuously. There is an enmit}' against the lowliness, which Christ leads his humble followers into; and a desire, in some, to make a show in the world ; that we may be like others, and thereby the reproach of the cross caused to cease. As that JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 487 takes place, our locks will bo sliorn ; we shall become weak like other men ; spiritual vision will be lost, and worldly professors will vaunt over us. But may the Lord in mercy, kindle up fresh zeal among us ; bring us near to one another in the covenant of life, and enable us to put shoulder to shoulder in the support of his cause ; and send forth fresh laborers into his harvest field. 18th. Poverty of spirit, and the reduction of faith have been my portion many days j^ast. If it is of the Lord's dispensing, to lay low the creature, it is enough. He will not cast off those whom He condescends to purge, and prostrate, if they give themselves, and all they have, into his hand. There can be no higher favor, than being objects of his mercy and preserving power ; and this is as truly shown to be the case, in his empty- ing and stripping dispensations, which bring man to feel his own nothingness, as when His candle shines upon his head, and he is filled with a heavenly sense of the Divine fulness. 1851, First month 8th. I have been renewedly confirmed in the opinion, that the pointing of the Divine finger is needful to lead us safely in visits to other meetings. Friends in every meeting, have their rights in the disj)Osal of the business of that meeting, and any interference, in man's will and wisdom, not only may give an improper direction of subjects under deliber- ation, but wound the feelings of the members. It is evident that nothing but the wonder-working power of Divine love and kindness, can heal the breaches, and restore to us the paths of peace and heavenly unity to dwell in. This we must suffer and travail for in the patience of the saints, and the Lord will bring it about to his own honor and the great comfort of his people. 20th. A dear friend and his wife, called in this evening, with ■whom we had sweet converse upon the things concerning the spreading and power of truth, which lie nearer to our hearts than anything else. He was under a concern that Friends might more frequently visit the members, who have little oppor- tunity of mingling with rightly concerned Friends; and en- courage them to faithfulness. He thought the Society was still blessed with a living ministry ; that many acknowledged it in their hearts, and he could not think it would be lost, but in time fruits would appear. He expressed a fervent and sincere desire, that Friends who felt the weight of service, and of our 488 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. responsibilities, might be encouraged. I united with his views in relation to the advantage of Friends more generally visiting one another in a right spirit ; and we may hope that the time is drawing on for it. 22d. Having felt my mind turned to the Western Meeting for a few days, I went there and attended the Monthly Meeting. I was brought low, and the matter which opened before me, seemed of such close nature, I felt afraid almost to look at it. After a time it was taken away : when the great importance of watchfulness and daily prayer, that we may be preserved from losing ground and falling short in the end, came livingly over my mind, and had a humbling effect. Under a degree of ten- derness, I believed it right to rise with this subject, and to express what might be presented for others, as well as myself, on the unspeakable blessing of Divine preservation in a blessed growth in the Truth, and an establishment in it unto the end. He who loved us before we loved Him, and of his mercy and power brought us out of darkness, sin, and corruption, will notfoi-sake us, if we do not turn our back upon Him ; but in the same loving kindness and tender mercy, will warn of danger. He will, as we submit and bear his dispensations, strip us from time to time, of all we have known, plunge us into a sense of our nothing- ness, and in this way keep us lowly and dependent, and enlarge our hearts, and knowledge of Divine things. The language of the beloved and aged apostle, "Little children, keep yourselves from idols," revived, with the liability man might be exposed to, if he left a lowly watchful state, to idolize his natural talents, acquirements, spiritual gifts, and religious experience ; and getting lost as in a mist, Satan, who can transform himself into the appearance of an angel of light, may set him to work in things which the Lord never called him to do; and finally the wrong spirit get into dominion in him, which had in good mea- sure been cast out. I was opened and led, I believe, by the good hand into these things, for my own benefit, and also as a re- newed warning to some, who had quite enough of the creature at work in them, under the garb of religion, and promoting the kingdom of Christ. It was of the Lord's goodness that the clothing of Divine charity was felt; earnestly desiring the present and everlasting welfare of every one in the meeting. 28th. For several days my mind has been under fear, and some discouragement, on account of the Society. Some over- JOURNAL OP %\^LLIAM EVANS. 489 zealous ones, who are more willing to talk than to snifer, ap- pear to have too little regard for the excellent church govern- ment which the Lord instituted among us. They do not rightly value the preservation of the Society, a united body; but throw out opinions, that indicate too little sensibility, respecting sepa- ration : as thouffh it would be attended with little inconvenience, and no disadvantageous consequence. To me it is a source of deep sorrow, when I perceive men and women, in stations in the Society, feel and talk in this manner. Surely they know not what they do. But at. times, I have a secret hope that the Lord Almighty, who raised us up a people for his honor, will mercifully hear and answer the prayers, which He begets in the hearts, I trust, of many exercised servants ; and put a bit in the mouth of the enemy, who would destroy his heritage, and turn him backward. And when He sees our sufferings are, at this time, enoufjh, irrant deliverance 'from the snare, and renew our strength and courage to lift up the voice, for the precious testi- monies and doctrines, He raised Friends to support. That so the dear young people may be comforted, and strengthened to give up their names fully to serve the Lord; and " Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the briar, shall come up the myrtle tree ; and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign, that shall not be cut off." 29th. In answering the Queries at our Monthly Meeting, held this day, there prevailed a uniting spirit, under which more than a usual travail for one another's welfare, was felt ; and Friends were lively in speaking to the different subjects that came before us. If the Lord would bring down all wrong things, and clothe us more entirely with his love, so that with- out any "dissimulation, we were one another's helpers, it would be like balm to the wounded spirit, and the bones which seem to have been broken, would rejoice. Second month 3d. Having passed some days with little sensible evidence of Divine good, I went to the Quarterly Meet- ing for business much discouraged, and with little hope that the quickening power of Christ would be felt by me. Over the men's meeting, a feeling of renewed exercise was spread ; and I thought Samuel Settle, Sr., was strengthened to call Friends back from the violations of our testimonies, which not a few had fallen into, by their conformity to the changeable fashions of the world. They were calling plainness in dress and language, 490 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. the reading of fictitious books, and others calculated to poison the mind with unsound principles, and to spoil it through j)hilo- sophy and vain deceit, little things ; he believed the testimonies maintained by Friends respecting them, were the fruits of pri- mitive Christianity. Departures from them created false taste; excited and unsettled the feelings ; and these led to the dislike of our silent meetings ; and a desire to go where preaching, and vocal or instrumental music, could be heard; which men wei'e induced to think they could use as the worship of Almighty God. But it could have no effect, except on the animal feelings, to arouse and excite them. He opened several of our testimo- nies, and pleaded with the young people to pi'ize the privileges which they had offered them, in such a Society as ours, that watched over them for good. My brother Thomas also spoke to several j3oints, as well as some other Friends, with which others united. I thought it my place to say, I hoped we should profit by the exercise spread over the meeting; it was an evi- dence that He who raised us up had not forsaken us. How fearful were we in the beginning of our heavenly journey, of doing anything against the Truth ; and how desirous to know the Divine will, and to receive strength to do it. Was there not now a danger, after experiencing a little prosperity, of jjut- ting forth the hand, and appropriating the blessings of a kind Providence, to purposes, of which we should have been afraid in those days; especially in the fui-niture of our houses, and in our mode of living? Entering into our own condition, and being favored to search Jerusalem with candles, after having been so long contending against error without, and among others, made this meeting additionally satisfactory, and raised the hope that the Lord was beginning to work for and among us. 9th. First-day. A low time, nearly throughout morning and afternoon. Towards the latter part of the day, there was a little sensation of Divine notice and regard, by the merciful Shepherd of liis afflicted people. At the evening meeting, I was led to refer to the suggestion of some, that the Society would go down ; which I believed would not be permitted, but through unfaithfulness and disregard of the many offers of Divine help. "There is a river the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy places of the tabernacles of the Most High;" the sanctified hearts that have become temples of the Holy JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 491 Ghost. '' God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved ; God shall help her, and that right early." 12th. At our meeting to-day, there was a larger attendance of children from two schools, colored and white, than is com- mon. I felt the revival of concern for them, and was led to warn them of the dangers and temptations that await them ; encouraging them to mind the convictions of the Holy Spirit in their own hearts ; to shun evil company, and to keep clear of profanity, and of taking the Lord's name in their mouths im- properly. Went down to Woodbury in the afternoon, and stopped at William and Mary Mickle's. We had the agreeable company of a few Friends there ; and to-day, the 13th, attended their Quar- terly Meeting. I was engaged among them, to warn some of the deadening effects of the love of the world ; and to invite others to be obedient to the clear discoveries of the Divine will, to some of whom, the language may be applicable, "Arise, shine ; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon thee." Were those who are thus visited by the illu- minations of the Spirit of Christ, faithful to its requisitions, there would be raised among us, judges as at the first, and coun- sellors as at the beginning ; and ministers to declare to others of the mercy and power of the Lord extended to them. What loss individuals and the church sustain, in consequence of disobedi- ence and neglect of duty ! 21st. On the 15th, in company with our beloved friends S. and B. IST., my wife and myself went to Westtown School. We attended their first-day meetings. In the morning, I was led to open the doctrine of Divine preservation ; and to refer to the case of Joseph, whom his brethren, at one time, appeared to be deter- mined to destroy, but finally sold him to a company of Ishmael- ites, who sold him to the captain of Phai'oah's guard. Here he was thrown into prison without just cause ; and maintaining his integrity, he was there kept by the Lord, and qualified to inter- pret the dreams of Pharoah's butler and baker ; and eventually to experience the fulfilment of the dreams he had in his youth- ful days ; b}^ being made ruler in Egypt under Pharoah. Some present were tenderly entreated to keep the faith and confidence in the Lord's presei'ving power, they had been favored with, w^hich would be their support and defence, to the end, as their eye was singly directed to Him. The dear children were also 492 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. att'ectionately persuaded, to mind the warning voice of their dear Saviour ; by yielding to which, they would he preserved from the insidious snares and allurements of a cruel enemy; grow up in good liking before Him, and in his time be prepared for service in his church. On second-day morning, the 17th, we rode over to Concord, and attended the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders. - Third-day were at the Quarterly Meeting for discipline ; in which we both had some service, to our own relief, and, I hope, the comfort and strength of others. In the afternoon, the mail brought me a letter from my dear sister H. Ehoads, dated the 6th and 7th of this month, at Croy- don, near London ; conveying satisfactory accounts of her move- ments. It was pleasant to find, that amidst the trials attendant on the work in which she is engaged, there are seasons of Di- vine consolation, and evidences of the merciful regard of her Heavenly Father, strengthening her therein. 23d. Throughout most of this day, I have felt little to cheer in the heavenly journey ; though in the morning meeting, I did not see I should do right, without reviving the expressions of our Lord, " Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you;" "He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me and I in him ;" endeav- oring to set forth how little outside profession and appearance will do, without the internal communion and jjarticipation of the life and substance. Third month 2d. First-day morning I was drawn to hold up to view, that we are placed here in a state of probation ; to prove the Lord's love and mercy to us, and to be proved whether we will obey his discoveries and requisitions, and thereby glori- fy Him that created us, so as to be ready, having on the wed- ding garment, to enter the everlasting abodes of blessedness; in which I Avas somewhat encouraged. 10th. It is a period that calls for close watchfulness, and sincere prayer to the Lord, that the spirit of division may not be permitted to lay the Society waste. Those who advocate or enter into separation, know not what they do. I believe it is a delusion ; and were self baptized into death, we Avould prefer suffei'ing anything, but a sacrifice of our faith, rather than break up the excellent order of church government, which the Lord blessed the Society with, in the beginning; and which He JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 493 placed around us, as a hedge, and a defence of our testimonies against the inroads of the enemy, and the allurements of the world. 21st. Our Meeting for SuflFerings was held this day ; in which selections from authentic documents on the African slave trade, made by a committee on the subject, were read; and directiorm given to print in a pamphlet, and dissemina*-? it among the officers c.^ the General an i State Governments, vud the mem- bers of the different legislatures, as well as to others. An epistle to the Meeting for Sufferings in London, was adopted, and directed to be forwarded to that bod}^. 23d. First-day afternoon^ I felt much for the poor in spirit ; the young visited ones who had but few to look up to like fathers and mothers in Christ, and yet have to encounter the temjitations of a watchful destroyer. Also for those of fur- ther experience, who are surrounded with discouraging views of the state of the Society, and at times may be ready to give out and cast away their shield. A little matter arose in my mind; as I thought for these different ones ; and in weakness, and fear of doing without right authority, or of leaving undone that which was a duty, I arose, and matter was furnished which, though very small at first, expanded, and I hope, contributed to the strength of some, as well as to my own encouragement. 30th. This has been a day of clouds. What can poor, feeble man do for the visible church, when conflicting spirits and views are arrayed against it? He can do little more than pour out his feelings, in sighs and groans that cannot be uttered in words ; and strive to hope against hope, and to keep hold of the least shred of faith that may be left, that Divine mercy will not be withdrawn ; but that in the hour of extremity, He who is called the Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace, will rend and dis- perse the clouds, and give rest to the weary spirit ; often tossed as with a tempest, and not comforted ; and bring us into a state of firmer ixnity, and purer love towards each other. I had some satisfactory conversation with a Friend, respect- ing our Yearly Meeting, and the spirit of division abroad in other parts of the Society. We were united in the belief, that our place is to stand still, and maintain the ground which we have taken, against unsound opinions and practices. Fourth month 1st. Our beloved aged friend Sarah Churchman, being very unwell, and doubts felt of her recovery, I went to 494' JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. Germantown, to see her daughters. After sitthig awhile at her house, I called to see Abraham Keyser, now near ninety years old. He spoke of his first attendance of Friends' meetings on first-day, which w^ere then mostly held in silence. After he was convinced that it was his duty to join the Society, he was satis- fied it was right to go to the meeting in the middle of the week; and he had not suftered his business to keep him from meeting, at an}^ time since. This is a good testimony, and what every true Friend, who lives and walks in the Truth, will feel bound to keep fliithfully to. He also mentioned that while he was laboring under much mental exercise, Thomas Scattergood came out to the meeting, and spoke as plainly to his state, as if he had it all written down before him. This settled him in the conviction of what it was right for him to do, and he gave up to do it. 2d. To-day was our fourth-day meeting. After a long silence, in which I had many fears of speaking, I felt afraid to depart without reviving the expostulation of the Lord of the vinej-ard, " Why stand ye here all the day idle? Go ye also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive." That there is a work for every one to do in the vineyard of his own heart, which no man or woman can do for us, was held forth. It is they who labor that receive wages, and gather fruit unto life eternal. The weeds in the garden of our own heart are to be first eradicated, that the ground may be prepared for the Seed of the kingdom to grow in it. To be employed in finding fault Avith others, while our own hearts are unattended to, and the work of sanctifieation and redemption not going on in us, will be of no benefit to ourselves. But what- ever may be our trials and discouragements, if we are faithful to the clear discoveries of the Divine will, we shall lay up trea- sure in heaven ; and keeping our lights burning and loins girded, watching for the coming of the Master, He will in his time appear, spread a table fpr us, and come forth and serve us. 6th. On first-day afternoon, the essential benefit of silent waiting upon the Lord, in meeting and out of it, that our spirit- ual strength may be renewed, and we kept alive in the Spirit, was opened, under a feeling of the quickening power; and the humble, honest travaillers for the cii'culation of Divine life, were encouraged to hold on, keeping the faith, and they would grow and deepen in the root. f JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 495 8th. Went out to Germantown to attend the burial of our worthy friend and helper in the Lord, Sarah Churchman. "Blessed are the dead that die in the Lord, from henceforth; yea, saith the Spirit, they rest from their labors, and their works follow them." 18th. Our Meeting for Sufferings convened this morning; and among other subjects which received its attention, was an interesting report from the Book Committee, showing the salo and distribution of Friends' books in the past year. The de- mand appears to increase yearly ; and we may hope that the circulation of the sound gospel views which these books con- tain, will be beneficial, especially to seeking minds. More zeal and diligence in this good work are greatly needed. We know not where conviction may be carried home by these writings ; and we ought therefore to spread them far and wide, among all classes. A few pamphlets written by George Fox, brought from the north of England into London, had a powerful influ- ence upon many, and no doubt opened the way for the ministers of the gospel who came to that city, with a message of salva- tion, and who were favored to gather multitudes, to the truth as it is in Jesus. 19th. The Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders was held this morning, where we had the company of an unusual number of strangers from other Yearly Meetings. 21st= The genei^al Yearly Meeting convened, and was a large collection of Friends. Epistles from all the Yearly Meetings, except New England, w^ere read, and a committee appointed to prepare replies. The Yearly Meeting closed on sixth -day noon. It was held in much solemnity and order, and to the great com- fort of Friends. We had cause to return thanks to our Heav- enly Father, for his mercy and goodness in preserving us a united body ; laboring in harmony and the spirit of condescen- sion ; which had not been so fully experienced for several years. May it increase and rule among us in our future comings to- gether. My anticipations of this Yearly Meeting had been of a painful character; and whether such feelings are jiermitted to humble, and remove all confidence in everything but in the extension of .Divine mercy and power, for our deliverance, or not, it was a great favor that those apprehensions were not realized ; but 496 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. that the controlling power of the invisible Shepherd andEishop of souls, kept us in steadfast reliance upon Him. 30th. Our Monthly Meeting was held to-day, by appoint- ment ; and having had revived on my mind, at different times, in the last two years, a concern to visit some of the meetings of Indiana Yearly Meeting, particularly on the western side of it, although feelings of discouragement on account of the state of the Society attended, I believed it best to lay it before Friends for their consideration and judgment. They spoke pretty freely to it, and a certificate addressed to Friends, expressive of the unity of the Monthly Meeting with me as a minister, and with the concern, was j)repared and directed to bo signed by the clerk. Fifth month 5th. This morning our dear friend Eobert Smith departed this life. He was a man of a chastened and pure spirit, and of dignified manner and dej^ortment. As he was a man of peace, very much subdued in his temper, so he went down to the grave in peace ; speaking of himself a little before the close, with great modesty, yet giving proof, so far as he could be understood, that his hope in the Lord's mercy and forgiveness, was as an anchor to his soul. With a short sick- ness, and but little suffering, he passed away, nearly eighty-one years old, to an inheritance, Ave humbly trust, that is incor- ruptible, undefiled, and fadeth not away, eternal in the heavens. The weather this morning was wet and chilling, and the Quarterly Meeting, on the women's side of the house, was less than usual ; but I thought the men's a large meeting. After the extracts from the Yearly Meeting minutes were read, and recommended to the subordinate meetings, I mentioned the con- cern I was under, to visit meetings in I]idiana Yearly Meeting, from which, at times, I was ready to shrink; but believed it right to submit it to the consideration and judgment of the meeting. The weight and unity which appeared, I thought was more than usual ; it was unlooked for, and was received by me with gratitude. A suitable minute was made, and directed to be endorsed on the certificate of the Monthly Meeting. There was a covering of solemnity over us throughout. Sirth month 2d. Yesterday and first-day week were sea- sons of Divine favor ; in which my Lord and Master eiuibled me to preach his gospel with that authorit}' which gave evi- dence it was not of man; and I trust it found its way into the JOL'RNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 497 hearts of some goodly seeking ones, and was a renewed call to some others. On fourth-day last was our Monthly Meeting ; in which my friend Joseph Elkinton informed, that he felt di-awn to accom- pany me in the proposed visit in Indiana Yearly Meeting ; which was united with, and I hope will prove a relief and com- fort to me. 5th. Was at the Arch Street Meeting; in which I felt my own weakness and unfitness to approach Ilim, who is immacu- late purity. As the time drew near for closing the meeting, I remembered the prophet regarded himself as a man of unclean lips ; and that he was commissioned to hand forth the language of encouragement to some among the degenerate children of Israel ; and his language, on one occasion, was brought before me, " Comfort ye, comfort ye, my people, saith your God. Speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her that her warfare is accomplished; that her iniquity is j)ardoned ; for she hath received of the Loi'd's hand double for all her sins." This was applied to those who submit to the Lord's fire in Zion, and his furnace which is in Jerusalem. When they have passed through the administration of his judgments, the baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire, so as to have the filth purged away, and to be no longer as reprobate silver ; they know all their in- iquities pardoned through the blood of the everlasting covenant. They are prepared to partake of the cup of suffering for the body's sake, the church ; which at times they seem to drink as to the di-egs ; so that they may feel as if they received double for all their sins. But it is all for a moment ; and when the blessed reward at the end of the race is granted, it is no doubt felt as light affliction, in comparison with the eternal weight of glory which the saints in light partake of The least and lowest place in his kingdom will be enough for the tribulated spirit. I thought holy help was mercifully near, qualifying for a little service, which would be the last before setting out on the proposed journey. 498 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. CHAPTEE XXV. 1851. Religious visit to Meetings in Iowa, and other Meetings within Indiana Yearly Meeting. 1851, Sixth montli 10th. Left home this morning, accom- panied by ray friend Joseph Elkinton, under feelings of much nearness of aifection and solicitude for my dear wife and chil- dren, and a deep seriousness at the extent of the prospect before me. A visit to Iowa, and intermediate meetings, is an under- taking of importance, and produces, at times, sensations of sad- ness at the thought of the separation from my beloved family, and the liability to sickness or accident, to which we may be exposed; yet accompanied with the hope, that the Lord's pre- serving power and goodness will go with us, helping me through without hurting the cause of Christ ; and it may be to the com- fort of some weary ones. We rode to George Malin's, twenty- three miles, and dined with them, where we were cordially re- ceived and sympathized with for the work before us. Eode to Aaron Cooper's, in Sadsbury, before sunset, where we were kindly entertained and lodged. 11th. The weather fine, w^e left our friends about seven o'clock ; dined at a tavern two miles beyond Lancaster, rested two hours, and by evening got to a tavern near York ; having passed thi'ough Columbia, and crossed the Susquehanna on a bridge, about one and a quarter miles long ; the distance forty miles. Wrote home to inform our friends how we got along; and being much fatigued went to bed early, and sleeping well, was much refreshed. 12th. We had a rough ride, after leaving York about three miles, through several small towns, and in the afternoon, crossed the South Mountain to the cold springs ; where we found toler- able entertainment. The temperature of the water, as it issues from the spring, we were told, is forty-eight degrees, and when it gets to the baths, about fifty-one degrees. They are resorted to by invalids from various places ; and the use of the water, JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS, 499 and the exorcise taken in the mountain atmosphere, are often very invigorating. 13th. Rose early in the morning, and rode eleven miles to breakfast, at Chambershurg ; thence over the Cove Mountain, to McConnelsburg, twenty-two miles. It took about two and a half hours to ci'oss the mountain, from Loudon to the latter place ; they are eight miles apart. Eode to Reamer's, at the bottom of Sideling Hill. This mountainous country presents scenery that is grand and impressive to those who are not familiar with it. The people in general, so far as we discover, live in a rough manner. Some haVe good dwellings and farms, but many appear to obtain barely the means of subsistence. This was not an agreeable stopping place to us ; but we have been favored to travel with much satisfaction, the weather being cool and dry. 14th. Rode over Sideling Hill to Snell's, six miles, and break- fasted ; thence up the Juniata River, eighteen miles, to Bedford. The road along the river was good, the water on one hand, and the hills on the othei', of bold ascents ; some of them pre- senting rocky fronts, imparted a romantic character to the scenery, softenedbytheflowingof the beautiful stream at our feet. We were glad to find ourselves at Bedford about one o'clock. We rode to Dunning's Creek, the road rough and hilly. In one place, where it had been dug on the side of a precipitous hill, it was so narrow, that we thought it safest to lead the horses, as a little valuation from the track, might have precipitated us over a steep bank. Our friends received and accommodated us kindly. 15th. Being first-day, and notice having been spread of our intending to be at the meeting, a larger number of persons as- sembled than is customary. There seemed for some time but little of that religious exercise and feeling, which ought to be found among true worshippers, in this gospel day; and yet I believe the Shepherd of the sheep was not unmindful of lis. After sitting some time under a state of barrenness, the import- ance of every one being daily engaged in the work of their own salvation, came before me, with the intimation to stand on my feet ; and the way gradually opened to lay before them the na- ture and need of this work ; which is of more consequence than anything else in this world. A degree of solemnity spread over us, and some were brought into tenderness on the occasion. 500 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. Went to the house of a young Friend to dine, and in the afternoon, had a religious opportunity with the children, and several others ; in which they were invited to increased dedica- tion to the Lord, and his cause, both for their own soul's sake, and for the sake of those around them. Lodged at a Friend's, to whom, and his parents, our visit appeared to be acceptable, and I trust comforting and cheering. 16th. He piloted us to Shellburgh, and put us in the way to get on, what they term, the mud pike ; which we supposed was made by throwing up the earth from each side, to make a good clay road. But our disappointment was great, at finding our- selves upon one of the stoniest and roughest roads, in this part of the country. Eode about thirty-seven miles to-day. 17th. Eode to Lexington, thence crossing Laurel Hill, we continued on over Chestnut Eidge, a high and tedious range, and withal so stony and rough, that we feared our carriage would be broken. It was indispensable, for the relief of the horses, that we should walk over many of the hills ; which made the journey laborious. Within the last thirty years, much clearing of the forest has been done, in some of these mountainous districts, and in fifty more, it is probable, this will i)e made a beautiful and productive country, as the means of the inhabitants increase, and the mode of farming is improved. Large droves of cattle and flocks of sheep, are driven on these roads, to the eastern markets, and the pasturage in summer, and the feed on grain in the fall, afford a market for the farmers on the road. After dining, we rode to Connelsville on the Youghi- ogheny Eiver, and thence to a place of private entertainment, which afforded tolerable accommodation. 18th. Eose early, and made our way to Brownsville, part of the way on the National turnpike, which was in good order, and during the day travelled forty miles. 19th. Travelled the same distance, to St. Clairsville, in Ohio. • 20th. Got to our friends B. and M. Hoyle, near Barncsville. Here we were visited by several Friends, whose society and con- versation were cheering. 21st. Got some repairing done to the carriage, and made some calls. 22d. We attended the first-day meeting at Stillwater, which was a pretty large company. We seemed to sit in a dry place, for a long time, under the feeling of which, I feared the people JOURNAL OF WILLIAM fiVANS. 501 were not sufficiently engaged in travail of soul for themselves, but were looking to be fed or satisfied through others. Such a state was spoken to, and the indispensable need of this labor for their own salvation, pressed upon them. The honest travel- k-rs were encouraged to keep to their Lord, and to be faithful to their gifts, and they would finally receive a ci'own of life. What avails the mere practice of coming to meeting, and hold- ing the principles of Christianity, if we are swallowed up with worldly thoughts and pursuits, and have forgotten the dew of our youth ; going after the perishing things of time ; which I was afi'aid was the ease with some. In the afternoon, B. H. and wife, and J. B., accompanied us to a Friend's house, near Smyrna, intending to jnlot us to Owl Creek. Here we were told that R. S. H., who had frequently appeared in the ministry, spoke that morning for some time in their meeting, acceptably to Friends. Soon after sitting down, he was taken with apoplexy, and about five o'clock died. This solemn event affected me, leading to serious reflections on the uncertainty of life ; but as I had left all that is dear to me, under the belief of religious duty, I was kept from desponding of the mercy and protection of the Lord Almighty, and endeavored to keep an eye to Him, and to the work before me. 23d. Took leave of our dear friends, and rode to Coshocton; parts of the road over mountainous hills, which made travelling tedious and wearisome. 24th. Having rested well, we drove on to Millwood ; most of the way on the banks of Whitewoman River and OwlCi'eek; the road good. That night we got to a Friend's house in the settlement, near the meeting-house. 25 th. Attended Alum Creek Preparative Meeting of Minis- ters and Eldei's held at this place; in which I was led to make some observations on a case before it, touching the care to be observed towards persons appearing as ministers; both as to hastening their reception into these meetings, or in too long de- laying it, when Friends are satisfied that a gift in the ministry has been bestowed. The discernment and sense which the Holy Spirit gives to those who humbly wait for its guidance, is the ground of right decision; and that is to be looked for by those, whose duty it is to judge in these cases. It appeared to me, that the desire to fill the ranks of ministers and elders, at this day, arising in part from the idea, that the cause of Christ de- 33 502 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. pends mainly for its support on much activity ; and also, it is to be feared, from a change of opinion, in not a few, respecting in- ward spiritual religion and worship, is involving the Society in great danger. 26th. After the Scriptures had been read this morning, by one of the jiarents, I felt drawn to speak on the importance of rightly discharging their duty. The need there is of watchful- ness and prayer, that they may be endued with wnsdom to govern the children, and to example them, so as to do nothing we would deem improper in them. Like Abraham, to command our house, and our children after us, to keep the Divine law. The children were reminded of the serious responsibility which attaches to them, for the right occupancy of the measure of grace, purchased for them by the Saviour; and for the advantages of membership in the Society of Friends ; and they were aflec- tionately invited to faithfulness to that precious gift, and the improvement of the privileges they had. Attended the Monthly Meeting ; in the first meeting, I was let down under a view of my own weakness, and unworthiness, and I believe all ability for vocal service was withheld in Divine wis- dom, for my own sake, as well, it may be, as for others. In that for discipline, a,fter some Queries were answered, I was led to advert to the nature of our testimonj^ to silent worslii^), and the spirituality of the gospel dispensation ; and endeavored to en- courage Friends to maintain right exercise in their religious meetings ; and though the number may be small, who ai'e thus faithfully engaged, yet the declaration of the Saviour would be realized, " Where two or three are met together in m}' name, there am I in the midst of them." In the afternoon, we rode to W. H.'s, Jr., but the young man who undertook to pilot us, having missed the way, part of which was through woods, we did not arrive there until after dark. The family received lis very kindly, which was the more grateful, as we had been under some uncertainty whether they M^ere the Friends we were in- quiring for, and whether we should succeed in finding their residence. 27th. Notice was sent over this morning to Weston, appoint- ing a meeting at three p. M. ; which was held to some satisfac- tion, though the number of exercised members .appeared to be small. It seemed to mc, that Friends were in danger of substi- tuting a verbal profession, and activity in some benevolent ob- JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 503 jects, in place of that daily, inwai'd travail of soul for the bread and water of life, which can alone keep it alive unto God, and qualify to fill up the measure of service the Lord designed us for in the Avorld, and in the church. I was impi-essed with the belief, that the Lord would send forth messengers, as in the rise of the Society, to gather the members back to practical obedi- ence to the Liffht of Christ in the heart. We took tea with A. S., and lodged at J. M.'s, near neighbors, who appeared to be sincere-hearted Friends, and glad of our company. 28th. Piloted by W. IL, we rode to Gilead ; and in the after- noon, attended the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders. I sat among them in emptiness ; but towards the close, felt en- gaged to hold up to their view the great importance of the stations which they occupied, both to themselves and to the flock. There are dispensations meted out by the Head of the church, for our renewed humiliation, to strip us of what we have been entrusted with, to let us see and feel our own nothing- ness, and to prepare for further service when He sees meet. In this condition, we are to abide the Lord's time, not daring to stir up or awake our Beloved until He pleases. When we have waited his time, we come to know Him, by his quickening power, to be unto us the resurrection and the life. It is a great favor to be kept, from the beginning to the end of our heavenly pilgrimage, in this lowly, travailing state, and to see greenness in old age. It was to be feared, that for want of being willing to endure the baptisms of the Holy Spirit, some have trusted in themselves and their early experiences, and have lost ground, and not attained that establishment in the Truth which they would have been favored with, had they continued as when in the child's state. There are right hand as well as left hand errors, and it is needful to guard against the insinuations of Satan, who sometimes seeks to destroy the good work, by per- suading that we are unfit for it ; even when the pointing of the Divine finger is felt, to engage in it. But we are to lay hold of the degree of faith furnished; and moving at the Lord's biddins:, we shall know Him to be mouth and wisdom unto us. I thought the little service made its way into the hearts of some and opened them towards us. After meeting, we accompanied our elderly friends, W. G. and his wife, to their humble dwelling, where we were kindly enter- tained. 504 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 29th. First-day. At Alum Creek Meeting ; in which the doc- trine of humility was held up to view, as inculcated by our Sa- viour, when the disciples had come to Him saying, " Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven;" and "He called a little child unto Him, and set him in the midst of them, and said, verily, I say unto you, except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." And when the mother of Zebedee's children desired that her sons might sit, one on his right hand and the other on his left, in his kingdom ; He replied. Ye know not what ye ask ; and let them know that it was only to be given to them for whom it was pre- pared of the Father. The desire for eminence and notoriety, either in the world, or in the church, cannot be indulged by the truly devoted follower of Christ. His concern is, to be made and kept what the Lord would have him to be; and if he per- severes steadily, he will be brought to see more and more clear- ly, that his safety dejiends upon constant resignation and obedience to the Divine will. I was Yevy unusually and un- looked for, led to treat on this momentous subject ; and the meeting closed with prayer for the diffident, honest-hearted ones among them, that they might be strengthened with might in the inner man, to hold on their way faithfully- and for the young peojjle, that they might open their hearts to the King of glory. Dined, and in the afternoon returned to Gilead. 30th. Was held Alum Creek Quarterly Meeting. In the meeting for business, many spoke to the subjects brought before it. After they were pretty much through the business, I felt drawn to revive the prediction, " In that day the Lord of hosts shall be for a crown of glory, and a diadem of beauty, unto the residue of his people; and for a spirit of judgment to him that sitteth in judgment, and strength to them that turn the battle to the gate." I observed, that if this prophecy is fulfilled at the present time, it ought to be in our religious Society. Our early Fi'iends were brought off from all human dependence, to wait on the Lord for ability to act in his cause and his church; and they knew Him to preside among them, and allot to his servants their respective portions of the labor. One of them said, "In Babylon there is the likeness of everything that is in Zion." They saw the deception, and rejecting the mere image, they sought for the substance. I felt afraid that some, even in the appearance of love and unity, were in danger of mistaking JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 505 the show of it for the reality, which is only known hy the truly baptized members of the church of Christ. The young men, many of whom were possessed of good talents, were invited to wait for Divine direction, to enable them to take their proper places in the church; some to be mouth, and others as ballast, to keep all steady ; every one minding the Pilot, that the bark may be guided safely. Proposing to go into the women's meeting, a Friend was named to accompany me, and the Master qualified me to preach the gospel of salvation by Christ, to the young people ; who were pleaded with to yield to the calls of his grace, and come to Him. Faithfulness in the discharge of their duties, was pressed upon the mothers, that as far as in their power, they may prepare the children to receive the Seed of the kingdom ; and that when the end came, whether the children regarded the entreaties and exercise of their parents or not, they may be clear; having the testimony of the Lord's spirit, that they had done what they could. It was a tendering time with some. In the afternoon, rode eleven miles, and lodged. Seventh month 1st. Rode forty miles to Lewisburg; and on the 2d, had an appointed meeting there ; which was a season of favor, some disconsolate ones being encouraged to resignation, and to believe that He, who can bind up the broken-hearted, will remember them, sanctify their afflictions to their benefit, and as they give up to Him, will in his time, lift up their heads in hope. An elderly woman Friend rose, and said with some fervor, that she could set her seal to the truth of the testimony just borne. Dined with H. W., and in the afternoon rode eleven miles to Goshen. 3d. We had a pretty large meeting, composed of persons who appeared to be much strangers- to the inward life of reli- gion ; which makes hard work for the poor servant, without obtaining much relief. In the afternoon, we had another at Westland, about three miles distant. The doctrine of salvation, through the coming of Christ in the flesh, and by his Spirit in the heart, was enforced ; and a dependence on a mere profession, without this inward work of sanctification, was warned against. The people were affectionately invited to come into the living experience of this heart-changing work ; that being partakers of that saving faith, of which Christ is the author, they maybe made witnesses of his power and goodness, in setting them free 506 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. from sin, and bringing them into that state of perfection, which the gospel inculcates. Divine help was extended, enabling me to relieve my mind and to depart in peace. 4th. Eode to Carmel. The meeting was small. After wait- ing some time, the language presented, " Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled." I was enabled to speak to such a state, recurring to the poor widow in the time of the famine, who was gathering some sticks to bake for herself and her son, the last pittance of meal, expecting to die after it was partaken of; but obe3'ing the 'lirec- tion of the prophet, to prepare a cake for him first, she expeii- enced the supply to be continued, until the Lord sent rain on the earth ; and so it would be in a spiritual sense. The obedient soul would not bo suffered to perish; but keeping the faith ia those low seasons, renewed supplies of heavenly bread would bo furnished, as it is patiently waited and labored for. My mind was then turned to those who were full of business, in provid- ing for the body, neglecting the work of their salvation, living as without God in the world, and striving to collect much about them. But all their earthly possessions could not procure for them one crumb of heavenly bread, or a drop of living water. And what will they do when the pale messenger is sent to their habitation? Prepared or unprepared, they must go to their everlasting reward. Although it was distressing to enter into the condition of such worldlings, yet it seemed right to warn them of their dan- ger ; and such were called upon, if it was even the eleventh hour, to enter into the vineyard of their own hearts, and labor to have everything removed that was choking the good seed, and obstructing its taking root and growing there. 5th. Set out pretty early this morning, and rode forty-seven miles to West Branch, in Miami county. We dined, and fed our horses at a farm-house on the road, but did not reach the Friend's house to which our guide took us, until sundown. 6th. Attended West Branch Meeting, being first-day. The weather being wet, and no notice spread of our intention of being there, the company was small. The necessity of living in the fear of the Lord, in order to experience ])reservation, was inculcated. It is not beginning and running well for a time, that will do for the true christian, but by dwelling in humility, JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 507 asking preservation of the Lord, and minding his warning voice wdien temptation is presented, that safety can be known. Notice having been spread for a meeting at Mill Creek, at four o'clock, distant about four miles, we went thei-o. Found a comjiany collected, few of whom were Friends, but they sat in a becomino: manner. It is a trial to be the means of conven- ing those who are expecting words, little acquainted with silent waiting on the Lord, to receive ability to offer spiritual wor- ship ; but keeping still, with a single eye to Him, lie qualified me to preach the gospel of life and salvation through Christ, in his outward appearance in the prepared body, and his spiritual manifestation in the heart, as the great Baptizer of his children ; bringing to remembrance many passages of scripture in support of 'the practical efficacy of that religion, of which He is the au- thor, and will be the finisher, in the obedient soul. It was to my admiration and the solemnizing of the peoj)le. Thanksgiv- ing for his mercy and condescension to us, poor unworthy crea- tures, and prayer for continued preservation, were ofi'ered up to the Lord Almighty ; and I humbly hope, under the puttings forth of his Spirit. We went home with W. D. J., who received and took care of us, in a kind and affectionate manner ; which is very grateful to travellers, far from their connections and home friends. 7th. Staid with this aged Friend to get our horses' shoes at- tended to ; the top of the carriage painted ; the dry, hot weather having cracked the paint, so that it leaked ; also to refit our- selves a little. This Friend told us he was once a member of Bush River, in South Carolina; and within a few years had travelled there in a wagon, to bring away some colored people who had been freed from slavery ; and in going, they slept out in the woods most of the time. He brought away three, with their certificates of manumission. In a town of Kentucky, they were surrounded, he said, by thirty men, who, probably, supposed the negroes w^ere runaway slaves ; but the proof of their legal freedom was such, as to deter the men from stopping them. I thought it was a striking instance of devotion to the cause of the injured African. After his parents came into Ohio, then a wilderness country, he was employed in wagoning pro- duce to Cincinnati, on the Ohio River, and bringing away store goods. There being few or no bridges across the rivers, they had to ford them, or to swim their horses and wagon through. 508 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. In the latter case, there being several teams in companj, he said, they tied down the body to the axle-trees, to prevent it from floating off; and attaching six or eight horses to a wagon, with a rider to each span of horses, they Avoiild swim tlie wiiole thi'ough the river, and in this way cross those streams. It was their practice to lie out at night, carrying their food, cooking utensils and bedding with them. He stated that at one time, he was out, when the snow was from one and a half to two feet deep ; in which with their loaded wagons, they could make but from four and a half to eight miles a day. When evening came, they selected a suitable f)lace to encamp; and after unharness- ing and feeding the horses, leaving them to lie down in the snow, they cleared a place for themselves, kindled a fire of bushes and small timber, took their suppers around the fire, and then spreading out their bedding, they lay with their feet to the fire, the heavens and the earth being their covering and their bed. He thought it was a very healthy way of sleeping. When the weather was rainy and the ground wet, they cut branches and bushes, to raise them from the water on the ground, and placed their bedding on them. The Friend ajDpeai'- ed to be a healthy, hardy old man. 8th. Had an appointed meeting at Concord ; which was small ; chiefly made up of the few Friends residing there. I en- deavored to do what appeared to be required, but it was rather a laborious time. Several Friends dined where we did, and the man being a large farmer, we had conversation on the influence which much business has in drawing the mind away from the great object of our creation ; preventing us from performing the duties which the Lord requires of us, and filling the sphere He designs us to occupy, so that we may become the salt of the earth and lights in the world. The education of children in a guarded manner, attending to the proper cultivation of their jninds, so as to prepare them for usefulness in the world, was enforced ; as well as the great importance of parents setting them a right example by religious lives and conversation ; in- stances of the eff'ect of which were mentioned. One Friend pre- sent told my companion he thought it was not lost time that had been spent there. Went to J. C.'s, about six and a half miles; not far from Union town. 9th. Attended Union Meeting, being the Preparative Meet- ing, which was large. The state of some, whose faith was JOURNAL OP "WILLIAM EVANS. 509 closely proved, was impressed on me ; and after waiting for a time, under the fear of over-acting, or suffering the meeting to pass without doing what I ought, I rose with the expressions, " Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord de- livereth him out of them all," and dwelt on the benefits derived from our trials. "Whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son that He receiveth." After entering into the necessity of these dispensations, for man's refinement and preservation, 1 was led to those who knew nothing of these chastenings ; who were without their changes, and were living in ease and indifference ; and those who are without chastise- ment, are not the sons and daughters of the Lord. Many of these go into the earth, and are covered as with thick clay ; so that they are in danger of entirely losing the tenderness and sensibility which they knew in the days of their youth. It ap- peared to me, that the inordinate pursuit of the things of the world, had brought a cloud over our religious Society, as well as over other parts of Christendom generally. We were planted a noble vine, wholly a right seed, in the beginning; but were now in danger of becoming the degenerate plant of a strange viiie. Some were soleranl}' warned of the consequences of wor- shipping Mammon, and reminded of the testimony of Christ, that we cannot serve God and Mammon ; and of all that we can collect of this world's goods, we can carry nothing out with us. I was enabled to declare the truth in the authority thereof, expostulating with the worldly professors, and in entreating the young people to serve the Lord. Two Friends confirmed what had been said. After the meeting we went to the house of a Friend, where we remained until the following morning, and found his home an agreeable stopping place ; there appearing to be more mental culture in his family than in some others, judging from their reading and deportment. Where we meet with those who- are religiously exercised, however simple their habits may be, our hearts are united to such, and their humility, and the innocency of their spirits, render their society agreeable. 10th. Was at Lick Branch, which was small, owing in part to its being harvest time, and the weather frequently wet, so as to make getting their grain housed, very precarious. It was a good meeting to me, and to some others. One elderly Friend said he was glad I was there. Lodged at J. H.'s, who, with his 510 JOURNAL or WILLIAM EVANS. wife, appear to be eoucorned Friends. They expressed their gladness of our visit. 11th. We tool? an affectionate leave of our friends, and rode five miles to South Fork, where we held an appointed meeting; chiefly made up of persons not members, and a few Friends ; part of them from other places. It was not a very animating time to me, though some manifested their satisfaction, for whose strength and preservation intercession had been made to the Father of mercies. This evening a Friend came from Lick Branch, to pilot us to New Garden. 12th. Set out pretty early for New Garden, in Indiana. Some parts of the way being fiat, and the ground peculiai'l}^ hable to be cut in very deeply by travelling on it in wet weather, the in- habitants have been in the practice of covering them in some places, with logs, not hewed, which makes extremely rough riding. We reached F. T.'s a little before sundown, and w^ere frankly received ; I having been there about eight years before. We found him an intelligent Friend, concerned for the main- tenance of our religious principles ; and he appeared to be alive in the Truth. I felt much distressed on entering Indiana, not knowing how we should get along, yet desiring to be Divinely guided in the way the Lord would have me to go. 13th. Attended New Garden Meeting in the morning ; to which I walked in the feeling of great poverty, yet in hope we should meet with a body of lively, spiritual worship- pers, with whom we could take comfort. In sitting with them, the life of religion was felt to be low ; but after a time of strug- gling after good, it appeared right to address the language of encouragement to those who were sensible of their condition, and oppressed with the indifference around them. Then the state of these worldly ones, coming before me, warning and entreafy were extended to them. I left the meeting under feelings of depression, thinking that little good had been done ; but I en- deavored to keep patient and resigned. In the afternoon, we had a meeting at Newport, about a mile distant; where we found a number of Friends, who appeared to be tender-spirited, and with whom I had a relieving opportunity, and parted from some of them with feelings of interest and affectionate regard. Wo rode that evening to W. B.'s, at Lynn, accompanied by two agreeable, kind Friends. 14th. Had an appointed meeting at Lynn, which was largely .TOURXAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 511 attended ; I thought by some who were seeking after good ; to whom I was enabled to minister in the openings of the Holy Spi- rit ; and to hold up to some, who had entered into covenant in their early setting out, that if the Lord would give them bread to eat and raiment to put on, He should be their God, and they would serve Him, that now having increased in their estates, they were in danger of beins; caui^ht with the snare of the fowler, and to love their possessions, instead of the great Giver. But He was watching over them, and secretly warning them ; and they were exhoi'ted to go to Bethel, like Jacob, and renew their covenants, that they may be delivered from the snare, and be preserved from losing r.heir standing in the Truth. I was thankful for the supply of matter, and the ability to communicate it in the gentleness of Christ. There appeared to be a tender feeling produced in some, who I hope, were comforted. Returned to W. B.'s, dined, and remained here to attend the burial of a woman Friend. The company went into the meet- ing-house ; and I felt drawn to labor to impress on them, the solemnit}^ of such events, and the necessity of laying them to heart, that each one may be prepared for the close of life when it comes to them. But how easily do such impressions pass away! The indifference shown by many, to the subjects of religion, and the importance of preparing for death, is very dis- tressing ; and ahiiost induces the thought, that little benefit re- sults from all the labor we pass thi'ough. 15th. Rode over this morning to Cherry Grove, where we had an appointed meeting ; in which I was enabled to set forth the nature of spiritual worship, which stands in communion with the Father and Son ; not only when assembled to perform the dut}" publicly, but also in daily waiting upon the Lord for the renewal of our strength. The inward work of religion is greatly lost sight of by many among us; and the testimony of our early Friends, that the professors of their day, acknow- ledged some of the truths of the gospel, while they lived as they listed ; and how Friends were brought to forsake all, and wait upon the Lord, by which they were enabled to hold up the ancient gospel in life and precept, were opened in this meeting. Friends were called upon to examine, whether there was not a danger of going back into the condition of those formal profes- sors, instead of advancing in the spiritual and Divine life. They were pleaded with, in the love and gentleness of Christ, 512 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. to search into their condition, and come back into the inward, daily waiting upon, and communion with God, for the renewal of their strength, by the bread and water of life, wliich come from Him. It was a day of favor, and the truths delivered could not be gainsayed. A Friend piloted us to Economy. 16tb. Attended Springfield Preparative Meeting, held at Economy. Notice of our being in the neighborhood having been spread, some strangers came in, and I had rather a labori- ous time, in opening the doctrine of obedience to the Divine will, revealed in the heart, as the ground of preparation for ac- ceptance with God ; and the way by which the work of sancti- fication is carried forward, and we become acknowledged by Christ, as He owned his discij^les ; " "Whosoever shall do the will of my Father, which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother." Afterwards I was brought to bend the knee in prayer for the poor in spirit ; for the rebellious, whose souls are also precious, and for the dear young people. I hoped the truth gained some entrance ; but oh, the lifelessness of very many who go under our name ! We dined in the village, with a doctor and his wife, w4io were very kind, and in the afternoon, piloted us twelve miles to Flat Eock. At the first house where we stopped, and had expected to put up, we found they had scarlet fever; and thinking it not proper to add to their cares, or to expose ourselves to the liabil- ity of taking the disease, we went to a neighbor's who took us in. 17th. Attended Flat Eock Preparative Meeting; in which for a time, it seemed to me there was so little life among them, that I thought I had scarcely experienced such feelings of dis- couragement. But finally it appeared necessary to sound an alarm among them, and leave them to the Loi^d. This after- noon it rained and blew hard, with lightning and thunder, very heavy ; but being desirous of getting on our journey, we set off, and got to the house of a Friend, near Spiceland, about dusk ; whei'e we were refreshed by the kind entertainment of his family. 18th. This morning we were piloted to the National road, and then set out, without a guide, westward. The road was softened by the rain, which made the travelling heavy, until we reached the plank road, east of Greenfield. We were disap- pointed in the appearance of the country, which was but little JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 513 improved, in many parts, and to us, presented rather a dreary aspect. Dined, and fed our horses at this viHage ; and after suitable rest, set out on the plank road ; over which we moved faster than we were aware, so that we got to Indianapolis before six o'clock. Here we received letters from home which were cheering, giving good accounts of the health of my family. It appearing too early to put up for the night, we went on and stopped near Bridgeport, and lodged. 19th. Eode to Plainfield, and dined, then went to E. W. H.'s, who had been at my house a few years since, with J. II., then on a religious visit in our city. It was pleasant to see him in his own habitation, where we were comfortably accommodated; he and his wife being Friends of religious experience. 20th. Attended Spring Meeting, to which they belong ; which was a pretty large collection, but noisy and unsettled, by fret- ful children, and persons running out and in. It was a labori- ous time, but little entrance seeming to be made into the hearts of the people. We went home with A. H., and staid with him, and his kind attentive daughters, until the next morning. It was a house, where I thought the Son of Peace was to be found. In the aflernoon, our friends R. AY. and C. H., came over to see us, with w^honi we passed the time in agreeable converse. The country here has been heavily timbered ; so that some farms surrounded by the forest, seemed to be inclosed with wooden walls ; obstructing any distant prosjDect, especially where the surface is pretty flat ; and, consequently, creating in a stranger, the feeling of loneliness ; there being little or no improvement within view, beyond the farm we may be on. 21st. A religious young man having offered to accompany us to Eockville, in Park county, we set out, and rode to a suit- able place for dining, and feeding the horses. The weather being cool, it made travelling pleasant ; the road pretty good, except where they had covered it with logs over wet, flat land. Our stopping-place was a house of private entertainment, the residence of a farmer, where they had plenty of wholesome provision, and he served us with politeness and respect. We reached S. A.'s, near sunset, having travelled about forty-one miles. He and his wife received us very frankly. We had con- versation with him, respecting the travelling through Illinois, and found that at this season of the year, he aj^prehended there would be no difficulty ; and he offered to accompany us the next 514 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. afternoon to the Vermillion settlement, on the west side of the Wabash Eiver ; which we gladly accepted. We were now get- ting very many miles from our beloved families and homes, and the prospect of soon entering upon the prairies, brought over me sensations of loneliness, as I w^alked out into the woods, and there recurred to the countenances of those I held most dear to me in this world; and to the risk of accident and disease, to which we might be exposed. But there was a secret support, and a trust raised in the merciful and compassionate Shepherd, who sees us wherever we are; and as we have nothing in view but to do his will, lie will renew our faith, and defend and carry through all, to his honor and praise, and our sweet peace. 22d. This afternoon we crossed the Wabash River in a scow, where we saw evidence of a recent freshet, which had spread, over the flats ; and, we understood, had made crossing very dif- ficult. A few miles from the river we came to an arm of one of the great prairies. Viewing the expanse appeared like looking out to sea ; there being no object in the distance to rest the eye on, for miles, but grass. The thought of being out on such an extensive plain, which seemed to have no limit, and the possi- bility of missing our way, was rather dreary. Towards even- ing, we got to W. H.'s, within the limits of Hopewell Meeting. 23d. Attended their Preparative Meeting ; in which I was brought into sjmipath}^ with some tried ones, who had difficul- ties to contend with ; and was favored to speak, in the humbling openings of the Holy Spirit, as I believed, to the states of such. I was also led to call on some others, to examine whether they had the same tender feelings and desires, to walk in obedience to the manifested will of God, which they felt in the days of their early beginnings ; or whether the enemy was not working as behind a screen, to immerse them in the pursuit of the world, and thereby destroj'^ their growth in the life of righteousness. I was thankful for the Lord's condescending regard to me, a poor creature. I thought their answers to the Queries were prepared in a suitable manner, on those subjects, and was com- forted with the meeting. 24th. Attended Vermillion Meeting. Notice having been spread, a pretty large company collected. It appeared right to hold up to them the distinction between works of benevolence and kindness, which unregenerate man can perform, and a sub- mission to the baptism of the Iloly Ghost and fire, by which JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 515 man is made free, and kept free from the spots of the world. Divine help was present, qualifying to enforce the necessity of this spiritual, inward work, as the only way by which we shall come to the knowledge of God and of his Son Jesus Christ, which is life eternal. Dined at I. S.'s, and found it a pleasant stopping-place ; his wife appearing to be a mother in Israel. In the afternoon, we rode through the prairies four and a half miles, to Pilot Gi'ove; so called fi-om its being seen across the flat country, several miles, from certain points, and serving as a beacon to travellers to steer their course by. Here we had a pretty large meeting of Friends and others ; to whom was set forth the fruits of the religiop of Christ ; in subduing and regulating the passions and evil propensities of fallen man ; and the blessed results of kindness and tenderness for one anothei', and the purity and righteousness, which are produced by religion, were shown to them. The people generally seemed to be such as needed to be taught the first principles of the gospel of Christ. The weather was extremely warm and oppressive, which exhausted me much ; but it was a comfort to have the day's work peacefully accom- plished. We stopped a short time near a Friend's house, who, with his wife, proposing to accompany us, had to call at home before setting out; we then rode seven miles to Ellwood, where we lodged. 25th. We had an appointed meeting here ; which was quite large on the men's side. After a season of patient waiting, the Lord gave ability to open the doctrine of Friends, on the sub- ject of Divine worship ; the necessity for all to be gathered, when thus assembled, into a humble, inward waiting for Christ; to know Him to prepare our offerings ; which, if only a broken heart, and a contrite spirit, will be regarded by our Heavenly Father. These humble, struggling ones, will be at times bap- tized by one Spirit into one body, and made to drink into one Spirit; and if two of them shall agree touching anything they shall ask, in the name of Christ, it shall be done for them, said our Lord, by my Father ; for " where two or three are met to- gether in my name, there am I in the midst of them." The dis- couraged and mournful ones were exhorted to keep the faith, and to struggle on, and they will be helped, and see of the tra- vail of their soul. I thought the hearts of some were comfort- ed ; and the meeting was closed with prayer for Divine support 516 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. and preservation ; and for the renewal of the faith, of the lowly ones ; and for the dear j^oung people, that the Lord would visit them by his blessed Spirit, and defend them from the power of temptation ; that there may be a band raised up to .support our principles and testimonies. We dined with two Friends who had removed from Ohio and now lived near this meeting ; and in the afternoon were con- ducted to L. D.'s, near Georgetown. 26th. This morning we set out on our lonely journey across the State of Illinois, and were shown over some prairie land to the western road, at Butler's Point, by L. D. ; where we parted from him, and pursued the most open track. Through the morning, we got along pleasantly ; the road being generally plain and good ; dined at a poor tavern, in a village called Ho- mer. After giving the horses projoer rest, rode through a strip of woods ; crossed the Big Vermillion Ci'eek twice, once on a bridge and once we forded it ; and in the prairie, which we then entered, we had several sloughs to go through, where the draft is hard for the horses. When coming to those soft, muddy places, it is usual to turn towards the head of the marsh, and drive on the high grass, which keeps the carriage and horses from miring ; and thus they get round the deepest and most swampy part. This seemed very uncertain work to us, being entire strangers to such travelling ; in a boggy country, where we cannot discover to what depth we may sink; and where, at times, the horses had to put forth great effort to draw us through. After crossing that piece of prairie, we stopped at the first house; and while there, a man came up with a cart and pair of oxen, and soon inquired how we had got through the sloughs; saying, he supposed that he had drawn with his oxen, fifty vehicles out of them, this spring. We were not aware of our danger of being set fast, this being our first day's travel alone there. Going on our way, we felt our lonely situ- ation, exposed to difficulties, Avhen no house might be within several miles ; but endeavored to do the best we could, and put our trust in our Heavenly Father ; in the belief we were in the way of our duty, and He would enable us to go through. Eeach- ed Arbana by sundown, having ridden about thirty-seven miles; and put up at a good tavern ; kept by an Ohio man, who treated us respectfully, and provided well for us. 27 th. We left soon after breakfast ; at once entering a prai- JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 517 rie, in which the road was good ; forded the Sangamon Creek, at a piece of woods ; a clear beautiful stream. On coming out of the timber, we entered a prairie, said to be fourteen miles over ; which, in some directions was like looking over an ocean of grass; nothing to be seen in the horizon, "We made slow progress ; some of the surface being rolling, and others marshy, which Ave crossed, with considerable effort on the part of the horses; and a little after twelve o'clock, reached an inn on the western edge of the prairie ; a good deal overcome with the heat. By driving slowly the horses bore it very well ; but the sun shining with gi'cat fervor, and it being first-day, we were best satisfied to remain at the tavern, until the next day, which would afford us rest. It was distressing to find the low condition of many, in rela- tion to their religious and moral obligations. Foolish jesting and idle conversation fill up much of their time. They are idle in their habits and disregard the duty of public worship. To be compelled to mingle with persons of little education, and rather low standing in other respects, is a trial we have to submit to, in some of these places of public entertainment ; and it requires care to avoid joining in with their frothy conversation, or in any way strengthening them, in their irreligious feelings and habits. Our sobriety, at least, should bear a testimony to the excellency of our holy, undefiled religion, and against their loose spirits and jDractices. 28th. Rose pretty early, and got our landlord to take his horse and lead us round through the grass, where there was no road, to avoid getting swamped in some bad sloughs, which, he told us, lay between his house and the next village. It was quite a relief, and we got to breakfast at Le Roi, thirteen miles ; dined at Bloomington, and supped and lodged at Concord, forty- one miles altogether; a poor place for entertainment. Here we made inquiry of two men, at which ferry on the Illinois River we had better cross ; but they differed in opinion ; both, how- " ever, giving very discouraging accounts of the state of the roads near the river, so that we were much at a loss to decide. 29th. Rain fell in the night, and the road was muddy, and the morning very dull. Rode to Lilly's, six miles, and roused them up, to get us breakfast. Dined at Groveland, where Ave met with a young man who had crossed the Illinois River this morning, and Avho gave us an accurate description of the course D-i 518 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. we must take, when coming in sight of the river. After dining, we tnvvclled about eight miles to a bridge, which had been partly swept away by a great flood this sjjring ; and had we not been furnished with explicit directions, it did not appear pro- bable, we should have driven safely through the terrible sloughs, or avoided the impassable places ; in which we were told travel- lers had become swamped, and broken their caiTiages ; from whom, exorbitant sums had been extorted, by men concealed there, to be called on in such emergencies. When we arrived there, we saw horses saddled, and wagons standing, but no one in view except a boy, looking out of the bushes, as though he had been placed there to watch if any one should get into diffi- culty. It seemed like w^reckers looking out for plunder; and I considered it providential, w^e had met with a person who could direct us how to act, so that we were enabled to folloAv a track, which took us safely through, though in miry and deep holes, and led to the water edge ; and that we reached the boat safely, after driving into the river perhaps sixty or one hundred feet. Wo landed at Peoria ; rode through the town, and obtaining directions, got to a brick tavern, six miles farther on, where wo were pretty comfortably entertained. 30th.' Set out about half-past four in the morning, and break- fasted at Travoli, twelve miles ; dined at Fairview, sixteen miles ; the road w^et, and in some places cut into deep holes. Rode eight miles to Spoon Eiver; crossed it in a flat, which was short for the wagon and horses ; but we got over safely. The ferrymen on these rivera are mostly rude and profane. It was affecting to hear their bad language; giving the impres- sion, that they are regardless of religion, and the necessity of the work of salvation. Rode to a place called Yirgil, about five miles ; where we were pretty comfortably accommodated. 31st. Set out early this morning with the assurance that the road was good ; but we found it far otherwise. The small bridges were in bad condition, and many of the marshy ]ilaces were difficult for the horses to draw through. On a prairie ten miles over, there w^as a space two miles wide, wo were told, very much covered with water, and no road visible in many places, BO that we could not be certain we were in the right track; but, by the compass, we kept a west course, and finally got through the swampy groimd, into a plain road, much to our relief Wo procured tea and bread and meat, atone of the log cabins on the JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 519 prairie, but were so long detained, that we did not reaeh La Harpe, until near supper time. ^Ye met two carriages, just as we entered the swamp, and asking the men what kind of road ahead, they replied, As bad as it can be. Our horses had a hard draft, through the mud and high grass; and if any acci- dent had ha])pened us, we shouki have been in great difliculty, as there was no house within several miles. It was cause of gratitude, that we w^ere favored to escape in safety, from such a dreary place; where we could not see what we were driving into, Avliethcr holes or inextricable sloughs. Lodged at La Ilarpc. lughth month 1st. Eose early and got to Pontousac, four- teen miles ; on the river Mississippi ; where wo were furnished with a good breakfast, and then rode six miles to the ferry op- posite Fort Madison, in Iowa. The ferrymen detained us seve- ral houi'S, on the bank, waiting their time to cross the great stream. We regretted the loss of time, as we wanted to reach a settlement of Friends this afternoon, but could not ; and, get- ting directions in Madison, we went five miles to a farmer's, and found some difficulty in prevailing on the people to take us in ; we supposed from what passed, on account of the cholera, of which, we were informed, there had been several deaths in Madison ; but finall}^ they consented; and except the lodging, avc were made pretty comfortable. 2d. After breakfast we travelled about eighteen miles to J. D. II.'s, at East Grove, and put up with him and his wife, who were truly kind to us. 3d. Being first-day w^e attended New Garden meeting, four miles distant, in the morning ; where we met with some Canada Friends at ^vhose house we had staid when in that country. They were truly glad to see us in this western land. O. S., an elderl}' man, also from Canada, but now belonging to Salem, was here, and said a little after me ; enforcing the doctrines delivered. In the afternoon had an appointed meeting at East Grove. In both these holy help was extended, enabling me to preach the Word to the people; several of whom showed their unity, by the cordial manner of greeting us after the opportunities. 4th. Rode to Salem; where our horses were left, in order to rest and recruit ; one having been lamed. Others were attached to our carriage, and J. P. drove us out to Chestnut Hill, where we had an apj)ointed meeting ; to which was bi'ought the largest 520 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. number of infants that I think I ever saw in a meeting of tho same size. Returned to Salem and lodged at J. H.'s. 5th. We were taken out to Cedar Meeting, which was a large company, who sat in a sober manner ; but I felt foi a long time as if we might hold the meeting in silence ; remembering the advice of the apostle, " That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after Him, and find Him, though He be not far from every one of us ; for in Him we live, and move, and have our being." The way was finally opened, for showing that this was the object of our thus assembling together ; not to de- liver lectures, nor to hear them delivered ; for no man can do anything to promote his own salvation, or that of others, inde- pendent of Divine aid. Our business is to gather to Christ, that we may know Him to minister to our condition. Afterwards the necessity of the new birth was opened, and of being clothed with the righteousness of Christ ; which He brings forth in us by the effectual workings of his S^^irit ; and of our final, complete jus- tification by the washing away and j)ardoning of our sins by his blood. The effect of the doctrines preached, must be left to the Lord ; but I believe there were those present who drank in and united with them. Dined at S. H.'s, near the meeting- house, and after a religious opportunity with his family and some others, we rode to J. P.'s, who resides about half a mile out of Salem. Gth. This morning a Friend attached his horses to our car- riage, and set out with us for Richland ; which is about thirty- five miles northwesterly from Salem. When about eight miles short of the town, he drove into a deep prairie slough, of tough, black mud, nearly up to the hubs of the front Avheels, and in endeavoring to draw it out, the force of the horses broke one of the swingletrees, without removing the carriage from the slough. We then fastened a rope and straps to the axletree, and hitched the traces to them, and had the horses been true to the draft, they would, we thought, have drawn it out ; but they threw themselves into another hole, and finally broke the tongue. It was mortifying, after having travelled so many hundred miles, without any material difficulty, to have our carriage thus bro- ken ) and to be placed where we would not extricate ourselves ; about three miles from any house, and evening coming upon us. Had not a man and his wife, the latter a Friend, whom we had seen at Cedar, come in sight, we must have been JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 521 obliged to leave our carriage, and walk a considerable distance, before getting under any roof. Their coming seemed quite provi- dential, as they had intended to remain two or three days on a visit to their friends ; but the wife mentioning to her husband a desire to be at their Monthly Meeting, he assented to it, and they set out the same day with ourselves. He secui*ed our car- riage to the hind axletree of his wagon, and having good horses, w^hen W' e had pried up the wheels, to loosen them from the mud^ they drew the carriage out with ease. The Friend with us mounted one of his horses, Joseph got into the wagon, and I was seated in our carriage, and between nine and ten o'clock we reached J. H.'s. It was cause of gratitude to our Heavenly Father that we were thus brought safely to the house of kind friends. We expressed our gratitude to the man, and our de- sire to compensate him, but he was glad to be the means of ren- dering us such acceptable service. 7th. Attended Eichland Monthly Meeting, which had been lately established as a Monthly Meeting, and was a j)retty large companj^ I felt low and discouraged ; far from home, and am ong strangers of various character ; but after a woman Friend had spoken, the language was brought before me, " The foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, the Lord knoweth them that are his ;" and waiting in fear before Him, I believed it right to revive it, and to show that whatever may be the trials of the faithful, those w^ho are built on this foundation, are known of the Lord, and will experience his sustaining power to be under- neath. I had to treat on the importance of keeping with Christ in his temptations ; being willing to suffer with Him, as the Seed in the hearts of the children of men, both for our own humiliation, and for the sake of others. I believe the humbling power of Christ was over the meeting, and touched the hcart.s of some. Friends conducted their business in a solid manner, which was a comfort to me, as the}^ had held but few meetings before ; having been set off from Pleasant Plain. We staid another night at J. H.'s. 8th. Notice having been given for a meeting at Eocky Eun, four miles distant, to be held at nine o'clock ; and our carriage being repaired, we set off and had a satisfactory time with Friends and others, who met there ; chiefly in the way of en- couraging the sincere ones, to be faithfal to their Lord ; by which they would prove that godliness is profitable to all things, 522 [journal of william evans. having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come ; keeping the duties of religion uppermost, and the things of the world in their proper place. Here substantial happiness is enjoyed, by waliiing with God in this life, and when the end comes, the full fruition of it in the world to come. Went to a Friend's house near b}^, where we were comforted with the ap- pearance of the children, and a feeling of peacefulness. After leaving we rode to Pleasant Plain, over a rough road, washed in many places, and attended a Select Preparative Meeting. Went to J. A.'s ; a pleasant stoj^ping place. 9th. Attended Pleasant Plain Monthly Meeting, throughout which I Avas silent, until just at the close of that for business. The Friends w^here we lodged treated us very kindly, and we felt it a comfort to be thus cared for, when far from home. 10th. "We went to meeting this morning. I endeavored to keep inward, with my eye to the Lord alone, and after some si- lence, the expressions of our Lord in his address to the Father were presented to my mind : "And this is life eternal, that they might know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent," attended by the impression to rise with them; and I was enabled to preach the gospel in Divine authority ; that this saving knowledge of God and of his dear Son, is only received through the revelation and operation of his Sj)irit, in the heart of man. Our Lord declared that, "Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." No one can give himself a true sense and sight of his condition, as he stands in the fall. It is the Lord from heaven, the quickening Spirit, who is the resurrection and the life, that alone can quicken man, and make him rightly feel his lost and sinful state. As man submits to Him, He opens the blind eye, enabling him to see himself in the true light ; gives him the power to turn from sin ; to repent of his past evil deeds ; destroys the kingdom of Satan in him, and sets up his own everlasting kingdom in place of it. It is thus man is brought to see the kingdom of God, being made a new creature ; old things are done away, and all things are made new. The new heavens and the new earth, wherein dwclleth righteousness, are brought forth in him. In this heart-changing work, he livingly knows God and Christ, by the powerfully re- deeming and sanctifying operations of the Holy Spirit. This is the knowledge that is life eternal to the soul. Some of the ex- ercises which the redeemed soul passes through, in its heavenly JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 523 pilgrimage were further opened; and the meeting closed with humble, reverent prayer to the Lord, for his continued mercy and preservation, in the trials to which we are subjected, and wherein Satan seeks to destroy the blessed work which the Lord had begun in us. It was a solid time ; and we returned to our lodgings, humbled and thankful that the Lord hud owned his cause. 11th. Before leaving our comfortable sojourning place, we had a little ojiportunity with the parents and children ; in which they were reminded, that here we have no continuing city, and of the importance of seeking one that is to come; laying up treasure in heaven. The children were entreated to mind the convictions of the Spirit of Christ, that they may be preserved from temptation, and become what the Lord would have them to be ; and in conclusion, with tender feelings, I was led to ex- press the desire, that the blessing which makes truly rich, may rest on the heads of the parents, and upon their beloved off- spring ; which had a melting effect on all of us. After taking an affectionate leave, we set off for Salem ; where we arrived in the latter pai't of the afternoon, some parts of the road being very bad. It was pleasant to take up our residence again at our friend J. P.'s. CHAPTEE XXYI. 1851. Continuation of Visit in Iowa, &c. 1851, Eighth month 12th. Was held a Select Preparative Meeting at this place ; in which I was drawn to speak of the authority and qualification for true gospel ministry. That eveiy one who had received the gift, was to speak as the oracles of God, and to minister the same in the ability that God giveth ; and no man taketh this honor unto himself, cxcejit he be called of God, as was Aaron. 13th. Attended the Monthly Meeting here, in which I was silent, exce^jt a few remarks in that for discipline. 524 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 14th. Went to East Grove Monthly Meeting ; the forepart of which was silent. In the latter, I said a little on home educa- tion — the necessity of restraining the children fi'om wrong things. When the meeting had gone through the business, I was led to hold forth the language of encouragement to some exercised ones ; and to persuade those who had not submitted to the re- straints of the cross, to yield to Ilim who is represented as a refiner's fire and as a fuller with soap, that they may partake of the blessed result, as described in the prophetic address: "Comfort ye, comfort ye, my people, saith your God. Speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her that her warfare is accomplished, that her iniquity is pardoned ; for she hath re- ceived of the Lord's hand, double for all her sins." Dined at J. D. H.'s, with a considerable number of Friends, and in the afternoon rode to J. T.'s, at New Garden, who had accompanied us to Eichland and Pleasant Plain. 15th. Eeturned to Salem, and attended the Quarterly Meet- ing of Ministers and Elders, in which I was silent. 16th. Went into the town, and was at the Quarterly Meet- ing, which was large. After a season of silent waiting, and several had spoken, the simplicity of the means which the Lord makes use of, to carry on his purposes, was presented to my mind, and though clothed with weakness, and my faith low, I believed it right to stand up, and say what the Lord furnished me with. The simple means by which the leprosy of Naaman Avas cleansed, and the clay by which the blind man's sight was restored, were brought to view ; and that without obedience to the command given in those cases, neither the leprosy nor the blindness would have been removed. So in the work of grace in the heart, obedience to the little requirings of the Holy Spirit must be yielded, or we cannot be cleansed from the lepros}'- of sin, or receive spiritual sight to discern our fallen condition, and the way out of it. Submission to the washing of regeneration is indispensable to the salvation of the soul, and without it we cannot bo prepared for usefulness in the church of Christ. AVe must be changed men ourselves, before we are prepai*ed to aid in changing others. Divine kindness was e.xtcnded, enabling me to open some things, relating to the efficacy and spirituality of the gospel, and the way by which alone we can be partakers of it. The meeting sat about six JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 525 hours, which was rather wearing; wc returned to our lodgings and rested. 17th. Being first-day, many, not members, came to the meet- ing, which was large. Several spoke pretty early. A feeling of sympathy with the honest-hearted, exercised ones, and with those who have outward trials, was brought over me ; and I was led to remind Friends, that our Saviour did not promise his disciples freedom from suffering in this state of being; but He said to them, " In the world ye shall have tribulation ; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." It may be safely inferred, that He designed to encourage them to believe, that as they persevered in following Him, they also should be made overcomcrs, through his Spirit and power. It "was a season of mercy, in which heljD was renewed, to open many things per- taining to the faith and patience of the christian ; for which I was humbly thankful, and the meeting closed under a solemn feeling ; many Friends showing their unity in taking leave of us. In the afternoon, we attended a meeting here, appointed for the young people, by a stranger. Eeturned to our quarters, took an affectionate larewell of our kind friends J. P. and wife, and rode to S. H.'s, on our way to Cedar County. 18th. Rode forty-two miles, and put up at a house of private entertainment. 19th. Wo were up pretty early, and drove to a poor tavern to breakfast. The landlady offered as an excuse for her provi- sion, that a large number of Indians passed that way, a short time before, and consumed nearly all they had in the house. On setting out, two carriages in company with us, we were told the road to Iowa City was good ; but to us it was veiy disagree- able. We drove through ponds of water, out of one of which it was with great effort our horses drew us and the carriage, slipping and falling, as they attempted to rise up on the banks, which was alarming. The sloughs were wet and numerous; but we got safely through. Dined at a Friend's house at Iowa City; which has a few brick houses, but is located where it is difficult to foresee how it will ever rise to much magnitude. It is, however, remarkable, that so much progi-ess has been made in some towuis in this now State, as we have found. To-day we rode about forty miles, and put up near where Friends hold their meet- ing. The residences of the settlers in this place, scattered over prairie land, are chiefly log buildings; the settlement being 526 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. several miles in extent. In the summer season, while the grass is gi'een, the country, with the cabins and little surrounding im- provements dotted over it, has a picturesque appearance ; yet to a stranger, it gives a sensation of lonesomeness. Whether it has been the design of Divine Providence, that Friends should be pioneers in the settlement of new States is, on some accounts, doubtful to me ; persons, who generally take the lead, being often of the description which need the care of religious society, instead of being really qualified to set up and hold meetings, to the honor of Truth. Yet there have been in- stances, of meetings being gradually collected and settled by Friends of religious experience, which have prospered. In some places, it is to be feared, that the spirit of discernment has been wanting, and persons have been acknowledged as ministers, who have not had the gift bestowed upon them. These have fed the people with words, that have not been with the Spirit, and with the understanding also ; and thereby, that which ought to be slain, has been fed and kept alive ; and the people loving to have it so, they have exalted and idolized such preachers, to their great hurt, and the injury of the flock. What a deplor- able effect has this had upon the Meetings, and how different from the heart-searching and baptizing ministry that has been known in parts of our Society. 20th. Attended Red Cedar Meeting, composed of middle- aged and young people, settled here within a few years. I did not feel that exercise among them, so generally, as might have been expected from those, Avbose living and habits are simple. There were some, who, I believe, are under a religious concern for themselves, and the cause we profess to be called to uphold; but they want fiithers and mothers to take them by the hand; and unless great watchfulness is maintained, will be in danger from the snares which may be placed in their way. I had some service, but it did not yield the relief experienced in some places, yet hoped it was from the right source. We went to S. S.'s, and dined, with whom we had comfortable feelings, from the persuasion they were honest-hearted Friends. In the afternoon, he and M. O., set out with us as pilots, and to aid us on our way to and beyond the Mississippi. AVe rode twelve miles, and put up at a tavern, near Cedar River. 21st. Crossed the river in a flat; the owner of the ferry was not willing to take any fare from us; we w^ent to J. C.'s, to JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS'.^' 527 breakfast, about eight miles. Just before leaving tbem, we had a little opportunity with him and his wife, to press on them the necessity of attending to the great business of life, the salvation of their own souls ; and to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Loi'd. Eode to Muscatine, a town on the bank of the Mississippi, where we crossed the river. We found the road and bridges, along the flat bottoms on the east side of the river, had been torn up by recent freshets; and though some- what repaired, it was disagreeable travelling on them, and we were disappointed in finding the road so obscure as it was in some places. We got dinner at a private house in the praii'ies, and as soon as it was suitable, went on for Millersburg, which l^rovcd to be about six miles further than stated to be on some of the sign-boards. Towards evening we came to a creek, where the bridge had been swept away, by a fall of rain ten days be- fore, causing a terrible freshet; and turning back, we got a boy to show us where they forded the stream. We succeeded in driving through, and up on the bluff, where a temporary road turned so abruptly among the timber, that it was difficult to drive, and we did not reach Millersburg until dusk; where we had to put up at a mean tavern, with poor accommodations; the fare for the horses, and supper and lodgings for ourselves, being hardly bearable. 22(1. Eose pretty early, but were detained in getting shoes on one of the horses; breakfasted at a farmer's, five miles on the way. Set out under some discouragement, from the ac- counts we had of the streams, and rode five miles round, to cross on a bridge over Edwards Creek. Forded Pope Creek, where it was difficult for the horses to rise up the bank out of it, and about noon reached a dining place ; where we got further in- structions respecting the road. We had many sloughs to pass, and after riding about two miles, were detained nearly an hour, while one of the company went in search of a private bridge, over which to cross a stream, in our course. Towards sunset, ■we reached a brick farm house, in the edge of a wide prairie, and put up for the night ; being weary with riding, and the anxiety produced b}' the many disagreeable, miry jilaces ; from which the horses, when they find themselves sinking, spring for- ward, as if they would bi-eak the carriage or harness. The people here were kind, and made us welcome and comfortable; 528 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. and the head of the family appeared to be better informed than most "vve meet with in this new country. 23d. When breakfast was prepared, our host told us it was their practice to have family devotion or prayers, but perhaps it would delay us too long. We made no reply, not wishing to interfere. He got the bible, and read a chapter in the Eevela- tions, in which it is said, they that keep his commandments, shall enter in through the gates into the city. When he stopped, I felt engaged to express my approbation of the practice of reading the Holy Scriptures, but that it was also necessary to put in practice the commands contained in them. That although we had not as great measure of the Holy Spirit, as the prophets and apostles, who wrote them, yet the same spirit that inspired, them to Avrite, was given to us, to teach us to deny ungodliness, and the world's lusts, and to live soberly, righteously and godly, in this present world. I desired the parents might remember, that here we have no continuing city, and the importance of walking in the fear of Almighty God ; setting their children an example of holiness ; and that they might come under the gov- ernment of their Saviour. That they should keep his commands, as made known in their hearts; and when the end of all things hero arrived to them, the fear of death would be taken away, and through the mercy of God in Christ Jesus, the gates into that gloi-ious cit}^, and the arms of everlasting Love, would be open to them. When I closed, the old man said, "Will you join us in prayer?" I answered, we believe it is our duty to pray continuall}', by the help of the Holy Spirit ; but we also believe it requires a special intimation of the Spirit, to place ourselves on our knees in vocal prayer. He made no reply, went on his knees, and the family with him ; but we kept our seats. In the course of his prayei', he py many fears, lie will be near to support them, and make the humiliating dis- pensations which they endure, a blessing. I believed there were those for whom my desire was, that they would not let go their hope and confidence in Him, who is emi:»haticaliy called the Captain of salvation ; who would fight all their battles for them, and cany them through to the end. He declared that on Himself the Eock, He Avould build his church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. 11th. During the meeting, this morning, my mind was much occupied with the consideration of the evil heart of unbelief in those who are departing from the living God, and violating his law made known to them. The enemy presents his temptations to induce them to gratify the carnal appetite, and persuades them it will confer happiness ; and there will be no danger of Divine judgment falling upon them. But our Saviour pronounced him a liar and the father of lies ; for there is no truth in him. "We sat a long time in silence, during which some strangers came in. I was afraid to leave the meeting, without rising to open the subjects that had been resting on my mind, and to hold up the continued mercy of Almighty God, in following rebel- lious man, and bringing him under compunction for sin and transgression. 15th. We had little business to occupy our attention at our Meeting for Sufferings to-day. When it was finished, the clerk made some observations upon the necessity of every one coming- more under a travail of spirit for his own sake, and for the cause of Christ. Much had been rightly said, about doctrines, but he believed that more of the life was needed ; and it was only as Friends are brought individually to jiartake of it, that the So- ciety would be restored to its former condition. S. C. spoke after him, expressing that the design of our Society being raised up, was to promote the gospel of the grace of God ; and its work in thQ hearts of the people; corresponding with what had been already expressed. I adverted to the coming of Friends from England to Penn- sylvania and New Jersey, in the early settlement of this coun- try, with the view of settling where they could hold and spread 664 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. their religious principles and testimonies, out of the way of per- secution ; and that Philadelphia Yearly Meeting had always supported those principles and testimonies. I desired that we should firmly hold to our ancient doctrines and testimonies, under the guidance of the Head of the church, whatever eftorts others might make to introduce changes. As we keep to our individual exercise, to know the life of the great Head to pre- vail, we shall be more and more united to one another, and still be examples for others to look to and follow. AVe sat for a time, under feelings of solemnity and tender fellowship ; when David Cope said, he believed he would not be easy to leave the meeting, without saying, he united with what had been said, and added the expression of some similar sentiments. Friends parted under feelings of unity ; one remarking to me, before he left his seat, that he had not known what the meeting would find to do, but he loved to have such feelings as he then experienced ; and many others spoke of it as a good meeting. CHAPTEE XXXIII. 1859—1862. Religious Engagements at and about Home. 1859, Tenth month 5th. This day completes my seventy-se- cond year. Seldom since the work of religion was begun in me, have I experienced more humbling dispensations than for several weeks past. My soul has been, as it were, poured out before the Lord, day and night, beseeching Him that He would defend me against temptation, and bring me down into low places ; that every impurity may be removed, and every chaffy thing in me may be burned up with unquenchable fire. My secret cries have been unto Him, that whatever He may see necessary, may be administered, to keep mo from falling, or bringing any reproach upon the blessed cause of truth and righteousness, of which I have made profession, and testified be- JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 665 fore many -witnesses. I have thought there was evidence that the Lord's watchful care and mercy Avcre over nie ; and hope and trust have been at times felt, that his everlasting arm, though invisible, is underneath ; supporting and defending a poor crea- ture, who is unworthy of the least of all his favors ; that I shall be preserved again to behold the light of his glorious counten- ance, and be authorized to declare to others of what He has done and will do for those who call upon Him in sincerity and truth, and wait for the renewing of that life which is hid with Christ in God. In the afternoon of first-day, the 6th, I was veiy unexpect- edly raised up to bear testimony, to the essential necessity of coming to the inward, living and saving knowledge of God, and of his dear Son Jesus Christ. The possession of the Holy Scrip- tures is an unspeakable favor, especially to the soul that is obe- dient to the manifestations of the Holy Spirit ; and we may see that their testimony points to the inward work, and the indwell- ing of God with man by his Spirit. " If any man love me," said Christ, "he will keep my words, and my Father will lovo him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him." Again, on another occasion, He said to his disciples, " I am the Vine, ye are the branches;" "As the branch cannot bear fruit, except it abide in the Vine, no more can ye, except ye abide in me." Only as we experience the cleansing opera- tion of the Word, that is quick and powerful, can we become living branches of the true Vine, and members of the church of which Christ is the adorable Head, and know the work of rege- neration perfected in us. In this way we come to the true and saving knowledge of God and of Christ; and persevering in faith and obedience, witness an establishment in the Truth, and the Lord Jesus to be the Author and the Finisher of our faith; fitting the soul for an admittance into one of the mansions which He prepares for his devoted, faithful children, in his Father's house. Eleventh month. Our Select Quarterly Meeting, held on the 5th, was attended with religious exercise for our own preserva- tion out of all snares, and that we might be kept inward to the Lord ; waiting steadfastly for his putting forth in the service to which He would appoint us ; that nothing that man can do in his own will, might be substituted for it. 29th. I was at the North Meeting ; in which ability was re- 666 JOURNAL OF "WILLIAM EVANS. newed to preach the gospel. A warning Avas given against a worldly spirit; that instead of being faithful stewards of the means entrusted to them, some may be refraining to dispense for the benefit of others, that portion which their Lord would require them to give, in supplying their needs. Some are in- dulging in luxurious living, and in costly furniture of their houses. Our Saviour and his disciples set the example of using simj)lefare, and possessing little earthly treasure. Inasmuch as we brought nothing into this world, and could carry nothing out, it was our duty to be faithful in the proper use of what wo held in trust. My mind was clothed with love towards all, and sincerely desired we might experience a united travail for the advancement of the cause of Christ, and for one another's good. Twelfth month 31st. For about a week, I have been affected with dizziness, to a greater degree than ever before. The un- certainty of what serious consequences might follow, at this period of life, has brought over me feelings of solemnity, in the thought that the end may come suddenly, and how soon, I could, not foresee. It induces self-examination ; and the need to be pre- pared for that awful event, has dwelt impressively on my mind. Feelings of resignation to the Divine will, have been experi- enced, in the hope that mercy and goodness will attend me; and that when the close comes, there will be a blessed hope of catering into rest, and knowing all my sins to have been for- given, and washed away by the blood of the Lamb ; who died for our sins, and rose again for our justification. 18G0, First month 11th. My appearances in the ministry are not frequent, being mostly silent, in our religious meetings ; often fearing whether we are sufiiciently favored in them, with a living travail of spirit for ability to worship the Father ac- ceptably, and knowing our Divine Master to be in the midst. I have been afraid, on ni}^ own account, and for some others, whether the world is properly kopt out; and a sufficient exer- cise steadily maintained, to draw near to the Lord, so as to feel a true, harmonious labor to perform spiritual worship, and to strengthen one another to discharge our respective duties. But the Lord is merciful to us poor, unworthy creatures, and is still opening, at times, the spring of gospel ministry. To-day, the deep and weighty testimony of the apostle, with Avhich ho com- mences his epistle to the Hebrews, setting forth the Godhead of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the worlds were made; his JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. G67 purging oui* sins, and his glorification at the right hand of the Father, opened veiy impressively upon my mind ; but "which, from its awful n ess, I felt afraid to communicate. After a time, however, I was most easy to submit to the imprc&sion ; desiring to deliver, in childlike simplicit}', what would be gradually opened to me, without any embellishment or human devising. I believe the Lord helped me, and a measure of his baptizing power was spread over the meeting; and when it was through, I breathed for preservation, in a solemn frame of mind. 28th. For many weeks our country has been kept in agita- tion by threats of the Soutliern members in Congress, to bi-eak up the Union, and their intention to set np a distinct govern- ment, composed of the Slave States. Political disputation, and bitter charges against one another, have not only hindered the choice of a Speaker in the House of Eepresentatives, but they have brought great disti'ess on the minds of many persons in all the States. All slaveholders are not favorable to a dissolu- tion of the federal compact; and in the Southern as well as in the ^'^r+^.-.crn States, serious api:)rehensions must be entertained respecting such an event, and of the dreadful consequences that would attend it, accompanied by convulsions, and probable bloodshed, should the tie that has bound the States together, be dissevered, and every State left to its own course. The hearts of men are in the hand.s of the great Arbiter of nations, and He only can restrain the wrath of man, and keep wicked men from breakino; down the o-overnment. But all kinds of abomi- nations have gone over the land; in the Free States, and among slaves and their masters. Nothing but unmerited merc}^ can withhold the indignation due to our sins, and prevent unprin- cipled men from laying the country waste. It is hoped that time, and the cool arguments of some influential men, are work- ing changes in the wishes of inconsiderate, headstrong dema- gogues, and that they will be brought to the exei-cise of their sober senses, so as to abandon their wicked projects. The re- turn of harmonj^, and the prevalence of peace, will be an unspeak- able blessing. Second month 4th. Our Quarterl}^ Meeting of Ministers and Elders was small, several members being away from indisposi- tion. There was an exercise in the meeting, and communica- tions were made in support of our testimony to a living gospel ministry, and the worship which is in spirit and in truth. 668 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 6th. But little was said in the ministry at the Quarterly Meeting for discipline. Wo got through with the Queries satis- factorily. 15th. Snow fell; but feeling an affectionate and sympathetic draft to the Friends of Salem Quarterly Meeting, I went to Woodbury, this morning. In their little Select Meeting, the spirit of tender feeling went forth for the consolation of the few tribulated companions of their Lord and Master. In the meeting for worship, preceding that for business, I felt impressed to revive the language of our Saviour, "I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man cometh unto the Father but by me ;" also, " No man knoweth the Son but the Father ; neither knoweth any man the Father save the Son, and he to whomsoever the Son will reveal Ilim." Showing that it is by the revelation of Christ by his Spirit in the heart of man, that the saving knowledge of God and of his beloved Son, is commu- nicated and received. There it is He shows man his condition; what the Divine w41l concerning him is ; and as He is received, He gives power to come out of all evil, and to do his will, iu following Him in all his requirings. In this w^ay Christ be- comes man's Saviour and Sanctifier, and leads him along, step by step, in the way of salvation ; opening to him those things that belong to his peace, building him up, and establishing him as a member of his church, upon the immutable foundation, which is Himself Thus he is made a partaker of the mercy of God, and the faith of which Christ is the Author. The business of the Quarterly Meeting was conducted with religious weight; and, I hoped, to the strength and encourage- ment of Friends. Eeturned home with feelings of peace, and hoping for preservation out of all evil. In the latter part of this month, I made a visit to our Spring- field brothers and sisters ; attended their meeting on first-day, and their Monthly Meeting on second-day; in both of which I had some service in the ministry of the gospel; endeavoring to strengthen all classes, to greater faithfulness in performing their religious duties, that the world may be kept under foot, and by laboring in the Lord's vineyard, fruit may be gathered unto life eternal. Third month 8th. I went to the Arch Street Meeting, and was engaged in holding up the favor of having a High Priest that is touched with a feeling of our infirmities, and was tempt- JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 6G9 ed in all points like unto us, yet without sin ; one who is able to succor them that are tempted, and who come unto God by Him. The more we have partaken of his love and forgiveness, the more we shall feel for others, and at seasons desire their forgiveness, and participation of the same love and mercy of God, in and through our Lord Jesus Christ. The meeting was still and solemn. At my own meeting I have been much shut up. The with- drawing of the sensible flow of Divine life, is doubtless for our good, and to show us that we have no power to command rain from heaven ; and that the people are to be turned to the Fountain of living water in themselves, for refreshment and strength. We all have need to desire to be searched by the Holy Spirit, that Satan may not be permitted to deceive us in relation to our own state ; but through the continued mercy and condescension of the Lord our God, we may be bowed in fear and reverence before Him ; and daily put up our prayers for help to fight the good fight of faith ; that we may know Satan to be put down and trodden under foot. 12th. Feeling a draft in my mind to attend Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting, I crossed the river this morning. The Se- lect Quarter was small, only five men and perhaps eight or nine women of their own members, were present. 15th. The meeting held this morning was, I think, unusually large, many young people attending and sitting in a solid man- ner. I felt drawn to speak of the different periods of life, — youth and old age, — and the unspeakable comfort and peace of being able to look to the close, with humble trust of being ad- mitted into the everlasting kingdom of the Redeemer. To be thus favored, it is important to lay the foundation in early life; and the visitations of the Holy Spirit are extended to young people, even w^hen they have few opportunities of receiving in- struction from mingling with religious friends. The Lord con- descends to commune with them, and to show them his blessed will, in relation to those things which are wrong, and his con- troversy is with. If they obey, He gives power lo resist temp- tations, and turn the back upon them, and thus prepares them to perform his will. It seemed to me, the Lord was regarding our present low state, and would visit sons and daughters, and bring them out, to exalt and honor his name and cause ; and raise us up as out 670 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. of the miry cla}', and make his glory to shiue among us, as in days of old, as in former generations. 16th. Was held our Meeting for Sufferings ; which united with a concise declaration of the rise and faith of our Society, designed for insertion in the American Encyclopedia, printing in New York. Also, a minute, setting forth our disunity with all wars, fightings and bloodshed ; the use of violent means to obtain the freedom of the slaves, or for putting down or setting up governments ; and also with certain letters and paragraphs, inserted in some newspapers, which are opposed to our princi- ples on these points, and which essays were written in the style of Friends ; all which we deny. The minute was directed to be printed and circulated. Fourth month 8th. The anticipation of our ajiproaching Yearly Meeting, has been, at times, attended with feelings of much concern. There has been a great stripping of members of enlarged experience, and understanding in the management of the affairs of the church, under the direction of the great Head. There is a spirit seeking to lay waste Friends, who can- not unite with new principles and practices, or a dividing, scat- tering disposition. Yet I believe the Lord has not forgotten to be gracious, but as we are brought low, and keep sensible that we can do nothing without Him, He helps us, and gives a little renewal of our faith. This morning, in our meeting, the Master was pleased, by his quickening power, to renew my faith, and to raise me up to set forth the doctrine of his immediate guidance, protection, and re- generating work by his Holy Spirit ; both to reprove the world of sin, of righteousness and judgment; and as it is submitted to, its leading into all truths, its taking of his mj'steries and showing them to his obedient children, and bringing all things to remem- brance, whatsoever He has said unto us. Our Saviour said, " If ye being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall j^our Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him." I felt particularly for our dear young Friends, desiring that the things of the world nui}' not be permitted to separate them from the love of God in Christ Jesus; but that they may steadily take up the cross, deny themselves, and follow Christ in the way He would lea<:l them. The renewed evidence that the Lord's mercy and goodness are not withdrawn, comforted and cheered my mind, and lilted up JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. GTl mj' head, in holy hope and trust, that lie would continue to help iu every time of need. 13lh. Our Meeting for Sufferings, held to-day, was unusu- ally small. 1 thouglit there was a feeling of unity among us, in finishing our business, preparatory to the Yearly Meeting near at hand. 1-ith. The Yearly- Meeting of Ministers and Elders was also Bmall ; yet wo were favored with holy help ; under which I was enabled to set forth the qualilication and authority of a minis- ter of Christ. Unsound doctrine could not be gospel ministry, nor could sentiments, sound in themselves, hut declared without Divine authority, have a baptizing effect upon the audience, and be received as the preaching of the gospel of Christ. While it is needful to guard against creaturely activity, it is also neces- sary to be aware of the suggestions of Satan, who would induce the timid, cautious ones, to hold back from, their duty ; and thereb}' lose their strength, and the meeting be deprived of what the Head of the church designed for its comfort and help. 16th. The Yearly Meeting convened, Avhich was large, and over the minds of Friends, the wing of Ancient Kindness was spread. There was. an ingathering to Christ, and solemnity and weight were felt. The representatives were called ; the minutes of their appointment, and one of the rejDorts were read. In the afternoon, the minutes of the Meeting for Sufferings were brought before the meeting, and much united with. On the 17th, the meeting entered upon the consideration of the Queries and Answers ; during which, many Friends were led into a lively exercise, on account of the subordinate meetings and their members; and ability was given to administer counsel and warning upon many jDoints, and to encourage Friends to greater dedication to the cause of Truth, and the discharge of their re- ligious duties. It was a favored season ; so that many thought they had not attended such a sitting; and others, that it resem- bled some of former days. It was cause of thankfulness, that the Master condescended to our low estate, and showed that He had not forsaken us. 19th of the month the meeting closed. Fifth month 3d. I went to the Arch Street Meeting, and sat a good while in poverty. The danger of being deceived in our estimate of our own condition, and by the flatteries and good opinions of others, so as to settle down in ease, and unconcern- edness, under the belief that our spiritual state is better than it 672 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. is in the sight of the Lord, was brought before me. As time "was steadily 2:»assing away, and carrying all of us nearer to the end of our pilgrimage, and the eternal world, it was of the greatest moment we should seriously lay it to heart ; and, above all things, be desirous that the Lord would give us a true sight of oui'selves, and bring us under a fervent concern to have our garments washed, and the heart cleansed by the baptism of the ;. Holy Ghost and fire; that it may be prepared for the Lord of life and glory to take possession of " If I wash thee not," said Christ to Peter, '' thou hast no part in me." " He that believeth and is baptized, shall be saved." I felt strong desires that every one might be brought to submit to this baptism, and experience a right sense of his state ; and that the Lord would accomplish his w^ork of sanctification in every one. I hoped that the awakening power of the Holy Spirit attended, and raised de- sires after righteousness ; and that when the end comes, we may be found clothed with the pure, white linen, so as to join the just, who surround the holy throne. 5th. Our Quarterly Meeting of Ministei's and Elders was held. Through mercy, we were a little helped, and departed under a sense of the Lord's goodness to us, unworthy as we are of the least of all his favors. Seventh month 18th. I felt lonely in the midst of company; which tended to turn my thoughts inward to feel after the Lord, who in liis merciful condescension, gave me a quickening sense of his presence ; which tendered and filled my heart with gratitude to Him for his unmerited, mei^ciful regai'd. How little and low, and as nothing, do we feel when He condescends to appear. This is the knowledge of God, and of Jesus Christ, through his blessed Spirit, that is life eternal to the soul, and far bej^ond all opinions that man forms, without the immediate manifestation of his Spii'it. 22nd. Our meeting at Orange Street is greatly reduced. After sitting a long time ; the constraining power of Christ led m.e to break the silence on behalf of those who at times are brought to long for a knowledge of the right way of the Lord, and to obtain reconciliation with Him, and a sense of his Divine approbation. It is He who begets these hungerings after right- eousness; and He alone can satisfy them ; and as He is obeyed in all his requirings. He will meet the penitent, humbled soul, with the reward of sweet peace. JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. 673 23rd. Our little Select Preparative Meeting was held this morning, with evidences of fellowship, and desire for the right support of the cause of Christ. Eighth month 20th. For weeks past the enemy seems to have been let loose upon me ; and at times I greatly desired his presentations might be removed from me. This dispensation gave me a renewed sense of my own nothingness, and of the great need of steady watchfulness and prayer to the Lord, for his merciful regard and preservation. The case of the Apostle Paul, to whom was given a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan sent to buffet hira, le.st he should be exalted above meas- ure, was lately brought into remembrance ; and that he had be- sought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from him ; but the Lord said unto him, " My gx-ace is sufficient for thee, ray strength is made perfect in weakness ;" which gave mo the hope the present trial hrfd been permitted for my humiliation. 31st. My wife and daughter, who went to Cresson, on the Alleghany Mountain, about two weeks ago, returned this after- noon. Their safe arrival, and the improvement of my Avife's health, afforded me much satisfaction. The change to the atmosphere on an elevated point of mountainous country, seemed to effect a decided alteration in my wife's feelings • which was cause of thankfulness to our Heavenly Father ; both for her release from very distressing sensations, and for our comfort in the prospect of her health being restored, so as to enable her to pursue her duties, and contribute to the happiness of her family. May it please the compassionate Shepherd of his flock, to continue his blessing to rest upon us, and keep us on every hand. Ninth month 2nd. Our first-day morning meeting was a favored opportunity ; my wife being engaged in testimony to the continued merciful visitations of the Lord to the souls Ho has made, even to the rebellious. I was drawn to kneel in vocal supplication to the Father of mercies ; to regard with compassion our low estate, who have no power to keep ourselves; and when the enemy comes like a flood to destroy the souls which God has made. He would in renewed mercy lift up his Holy Spirit as a standard against him ; warn us of his temptations, and enable us to resist them ; that we may glorify Him who alone is forever worthy. These acts are very humiliating to me, and are entered upon with fear and reverence. 674 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. Eleventh montli 12th. Eodo to Concord, and sat with the Ministers and Elders iu their Quarterly Meeting. Next day the Quarterly Meeting for worship and discipline, was a solid, favored time ; in which the gospel stream flowed impressively upon many hearts. My sister, 11. Ehoads, closed in solemn supplication. I believe it was a season of the renewal of strength and refreshment to the livingly exercised and rightly gathered members. On the 14th, we went to our friend Charles Down- ing's, and lodged, in order to be at Cain Quarter. 15th. In the select meeting, after the Queries and Answers were gone through, I felt engaged to speak on the efficacy of faith ; that it Avas not only the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen, but by it, the Lord's chil- dren in all ages, obtained the victory over their enemies Avithin and without ; and as we keep this faith, looking to the Lord alone for preservation and deliverance, under the many afHictions that may attend us, He will arise and carry us safely through. Above all, said the apostle, taking the shield of faith. We have had many extraordinarily gifted men and women among us, and perhaps, have been confiding improperly in them ; but they have been removed from the church militant, and our depend- ance must be turned to, and placed upon the Lord alone. In his time He can again give gifts to sons and daughters, and qualif}^ them for his service ; and beautify the house of his glory where his honor dwells. The Quarterly Meeting convened next day. I was silent in both meetings. It was distressing to see so many young people leavino- the house, as the partitions were closing; and some of the members not returning for some time; even after a messen- ger had been sent to desire them to come in. It is discouraging that so little effect seemed to follow the affectionate labor bestowed upon them by exercised servants, and ministers of the gospel of Christ. 18th. The different reports of the men sent by Moses to search the land of Canaan, are descriptive of the different voices there are in Christendom, on the subject of religion ; producing their respective effects upon the people. Those who made false reports were not permitted to enter the jii-omised land ; by whom the people were discouraged, and though entreated by Caleb and Joshua, would not go up and take possession of it; but, refusing to obey the will of the Lord, they were turned into JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. C75 the wiklerncss, us many now arc, in a epi ritual sense. WIicu they found what awaited them for their disobedienee, they de- termined to go u]i in their own wills; but having taken the government into their own hands, many were slain by their enemies, "vvlio met and destroyed them ; and the rest were turned back, to perish in their wilderness abode. So it seems to me, that sueh as disregard the voice of the Holy Spirit in their hearts, and refuse to obey the Lord's will, arc left in a bewil- dered condition, and fail to find the state of rest and peace which those do who go forward at the Lord's bidding. They are left in a way to be destroyed, if they continue unwilling to receive the Saviour, when He shall again visit their souls with the offers of his mercy and saving light. Twelfth month 2nd. This has been a day of deep proving, and fears. In the afternoon meeting, a warning was held forth to those who arc at ease ; neglecting their day's work, and the calls of Divine grace in the heart. Our Saviour said, "That many shall come from the east and the west, and shall sit down with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven ; but the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer dark- ness;" those who have had many invitations of the Grace of God, but after having these favors, have put off a compliance with the Divine call, to a period at which they may think it will suit their convenience; while they know not at what hour the Son of Man may come to call them to judgment. Some comfort was handed to the suffering seed, who arc bearing heavy burdens ; who are let down into low places ; and under a sense of their nothingness, and the dangers that surround them, are crying to the Lord for protection against the assaults of the evil one. 17th. After a visit to Westtown ; I returned with some cold, and have since been unwell ; affected with dizziness, and some oppression. It seemed like the gradual breaking down of the tabernacle ; in which my sight, and hearing, and nervous system, are giving way ; and my thoughts w^ere directed towards the end of my pilgrimage. I was brought to a very low estimate of myself; craving that the Lord's mercy might be extended to me, a poor unworthy creature ; and that my sins, even the sins of my youth, might be forgiven, and washed away by my dear and holy Redeemer; I having nothing of my own to rely upon. 676 JOURNAI, OF WILLIAM EVANS. My feelings were peaceful, in the midst of poverty and great un worthiness. 1861, First month 16th. This morning we have received the affecting intelligence of the decease of our beloved and honorable brother, Joseph Khoads, after about thirty-six hours sickness. He was a man of remarkable uprightness in his dealings ; showing much consideration for the necessities of those employed by him. He was possessed of good understanding, and fond of useful read- ing ; and was strictly careful in his conversation to avoid saying anything to the prejudice of others ; so that he was more noted for his silence in company, and in meetings for discipline, than for much speaking. As an elder, though his diflSdence withheld him from much activity in that important station, yet he gave evidence that he was sound in principle, and steadfast in sup- porting the testimonies and discipline of our religious Society. He accompanied me in several religious visits, and always main- tained much equanimity, and a solid exemplary deportment, wherever we went; expressing his comfort when meetings were got through, under feelings of the authority and help of the Head of the church. Second month 2nd. Our Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, was very small; nine or ten of the members being ab- sent; and though 1 believe Divine help was with us, the feeling of the state of the meeting was trying. 4th. The meetings for worship and for discipline, were pretty satisfactory; some of the ministry being lively. 7th. I attended Abington Quarterly Meeting; which was smaller than I expected, considering how many citizens have removed to Germantown. I was brought into near sympathy with some in the meeting, who are baptized into low places, and partake of much discouragement on account of the degeneracy in the present day. I hope the Lord extended a hand of help ; and the meeting was ended with prayer for the Lord's continued mercy and preserving power. Some exercise prevailed in the second meeting for the support of our testimonies, I came away with the hope that I had been in my place. 15th. On the 13th and 14th, I attended Salem Quarterly Meeting, held at Woodbury. There were present at the Select Meeting, three men and four women Friends ; some being kept away by indisposition. The number of aged, experienced Friends in the stations of minister and elder, and those truly prepared JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 677 for those stations, has become much reduced in our Yearly Meet- ing ; yet among the young people, we may hope the preparing hand is at work, to fit them for service in the militant church. Friends who are rightly exercised for the cause of Truth, are often brought low ; and put up their secret petitions to the Lord of the harvest, that He would send forth laborers into his har- vest field. I thought the Master of assemblies helped us, and enabled us to minister to the people. I returned home -in the afternoon, with peaceful feelings. Third month 14th. Attended Haddonfield Quarterl}- Meet- ing; in the first part of which, my wife was engaged in humble supplication to the Lord, for the extendings of his Divine help to the burden bearers; and for the gathering of the childi'en. In the meeting for business, I thought it right to revive the injunction of our blessed Lord, '-What I say unto you, I say unto all, Watch." " Watch and pray, lest 3'e enter into tempta- tion." It is not beginning well, and running well for a time; but those who held out to the end, that shall be saved. lie also said to one of the churches, "Because thou hast ke}^ the word of m}' patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of tempta- tion, which shall come upon all the world ; to try them that dwell upon the earth." Satan hates this religious Society, and is trying to lay it waste ; but He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh ; the Lord shall have them in derision who join in this Avork. I encouraged Friends to keep inward, in their tents, with their eye to the Lord. I believed his hand was stretched out to sons and daughters; whom He was bringing under exer- cise, to prepare them for his services ; and reminded them of the importance of keeping near to one another, and to submit to the work of Divine Grace in the heart ; that so they might be washed and sanctified, and justified, in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the spirit of our God. This would unite us together in the bond of peace. Fifth month 28th. I went to the Northern District, where I was exercised on the importance of learning and practising patience and resignation to the Divine Will. That as we quietlj- bore the afllictions and sufferings that come upon us, the Lord would sanctify them to us, and finally turn Satan backward ; releasing us from his buffetings and temptations ; and causing his own peace and love to flow into our hearts. This would keep out all enmity towards others. And as we were drawing 44 678 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. nearer every day to the judgment seat of Christ, we should strive to have our hearts sweetened by his love ; and herein the unity of the Spirit would increase among us. We shall never become the Society we were in the beginning, unless all ill-will is cast out, and we show forth the fruits of the Spirit of the Lamb, as Friends did then, under contumely, reproach and persecution, which had a powerful effect to con\'ince others of the truth of their principles ; and draw many to join them. Sixth month 4th. The weathei*, almost through the w^iole Spring, had been very changeable ; about double the usual depth of rain having fallen. A cloudy, dull atmosphere has been de- pressing ; and with the mournful state of the country, makes every thing around us give the feeling of sadness. War with the South- ern States has greatly injured trade and commerce ; involving the Government in a great debt; and bringing want and distress upon many people. Engagements between several small bodies of troops, have been attended Avith desti'uction of human life, which administers increased sorrow. Men shooting or cutting one another down, simply to gain the ascendancy, and to drive ihe survivors from their position, is like the thoughtless cruelty of the beasts ; and shows a total absence of all respect for the value of an immortal soul, the design of the Great Creator in giving existence to it, and the inconceivable awfulness of being ushered into his dread presence, either to join the saints in light, or to be condemned to everlasting separation from the joys of his salvation. Civil war has never before been known in this country ; hoAV far it may sj)read, and in what destruction it may involve the inhabitants, we cannot foresee ; but at the present time there are few indications that it will be speedily brought to a close. Our hope and trust can be rightly placed in the Lord alone. He only can restrain the wrath of wicked men, defeat their evil designs, and deliver out of their hands his children, who have none in heaven to look to but Him ; and dare not resort to the arm of flesh to defeiid themselves. Friends in this part of the country have been free from any apprehen- sions of danger, so far j and I think, maintain a state of quiet- ness and watchfulness, so as not to baulk their testimony to the goveniment of the Prince of Peace. 10th. We are sometimes in danger of overvaluing ourselves and our attainments, and of being over-estimated by our kind- hearted friends j all of which have their dangerous effects, if JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. €79 not prevented by the daily watch, in the fear of the Lord. This morning, I was particular!}'' abased, under a review of some of the sins of my youth, and the feeling that what I had done in the persuasion of religious duty, when the candle of the Lord shone about me, and opened the way to perform what He re- quired of me, was of but little avail. I felt very much bereft of evidence of Divine regard, so that it was difficult to believe I was an object of the Lord's continued mercy and approbation. But as I have often recommended the essential necessity of ex- periencing the baptisms of the Holy Ghost and fire, in order to consume thoroughly every impurity, I desired to abide under the present humiliating feelings, and secretly breathed that th« Lord would not forsake me ; but would cut short the thread of my life, rather than permit Satan to bring reproach by me, upon the blessed truth, as professed by our Society. It has been a day of close besetmcnt, but this evening secret hope has been felt, that the everlasting arm is still round about, and will sustain and defend me, a poor unworthy one, against the assaults of the enemy ; and in unmerited mercy, wash away and pardon my many deviations and shortcomings, through tho spirit of judgment and burning, and by the precious blood of the Lamb. We are nothing, Christ is all ; and without his imme- diate help, we can do nothing that is good. 13th. Fueling my mind drawn to the Arch Street Meeting, I went, and through the condescending goodness of the blessed Shepherd of the sheep, I was enabled to hold forth the lan- guage of encouragement to those who love the Lord Jesus ; of whom I believed there were many preserved. The testimony of the apostle was revived ; that " Tribulation worketh patience, and patience experience, and experience, hope ; and hope maketh not ashamed, because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts, by the Holy Ghost, which is given unto us." "Whatever may be our tribulations, as this love abides in us, we shall not only love God above everything else, but be brought to love all men ; so as to desire their salvation. This path, as we keep the faith and patience of the saints, is a glorious path, and will shine more and more unto the perfect day ; in which we shall be made victorious over all the temptations of Satan ; and be kept to the end, through the intercession of Christ, who bore the cross for our sakes, and is sot down at the right hand of tho Father, making intercession for us poor unworthy creatures. 680 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. Seventh month 3d. My brother Joseph took me to Chester Meeting. "VYe found a larger company convened than I had ex- pected. My heart was replenished with love, drawing me to visit them ; and the language of the Master, and of his disciple was brought before me, " By this shall all men know that ye are my discijiles, if ye have love one to another;" "Little children love one another ;" " We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren." The essential importance of having our hearts filled with love to our Heavenly Father, and showing its fruits by keeping his commandments, were oj)ened to the company; with sincere desires that love might increase more and more, and unite them together. The qualification for usefulness in the church, and the happiness of individuals, meet- ings and neighborhoods, greatly depend upon it. Prayer was offered to the Father of mercies, to watch over and defend us against the temjitations of Satan ; and enable us to walk in holy fear, and to be instrumental in spreading the kingdom of the Messiah ; by living up to, and supporting the principles and testimonies of the gospel. Attended our Select Preparative Meeting on the 22d, and our Monthly Meeting on the 24th ; in which the usual business of replying to the Queries, was harmoniously attended to. I also attended the North Monthly Meeting, and that held at Arch Street; in which a fresh ability was funiished to preach the gospel, and to labor for the support of our christian testimonies. Eighth month 11th. At the first-day meeting at Springfield; which was pretty well attended. The doctrine of regeneration, and knowing the i)ivine influence of the Holy Spirit in the lieart, was preached, to those present. It was shown that as we live and walk in it, th-e heavenly nature of the Spirit of Christ will subdue our passions and propensities; and enable us to loVe our enemies, to pray for them that despitefully use and perse- cute us ; that so we may be the children of our Father which is in heaven ; who makes his sun to shine on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. True christians cannot draw the sword against any, but would seek the good of all, and to be instruments for spreading the king- dom of Christ in the earth. 12th. With our brother and sister, J. and G. B., my wife and I, left home for Concord, to attend the Quarterly Meeting; JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 681 where we stopped at our dear friend's N. Sharplcssj and then attended the Meeting of Ministers and Elders. 13th. The forepart of the Quarterly Meeting was silent, except two short communications. Feelings of distress pre- vailed over many; the spring of Divine life being closed by some cause. The usual business was transacted, and towards the close, I felt constaincd to advert to our testimony to the peaceable reign of the Messiah; and to show the essential im- portance of maintaining love and unity amongst ourselves, if we desire to bear this testimony faithfully, before the world. Even under a former dispensation, it was said, "Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard, that went down to the skirts of his garments. As the deAv of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion; for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life forevermore." We have need of individual examination, and watchfulness, to guai'd us against giving way to any spirit or practice, that Avould lay waste the Society or hurt its members. 22d. Being prevented from attending my own, I went to the Arch Street Meeting ; which was very small, the weather being wet ; but the comforting influence of Divine Good was spread over us. " Why art thou cast down, oh, my soul; and why art thou disquieted within me ! Hope thou in God, for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of ni}' countenance and ray God." These expressions of the P.salmist were brought before me, as applicable to the low state of some present; and in simplicity and godly sincerity, I revived them, and was led to encourage all to keep the faith which had been given to them ; and the Lord who knows our impotency, will keep us by his invisible power, and defend us against all the devices of the enemy. " As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about his people, from henceforth even forever." A feel- ing of humble, childlike tenderness seemed to be spread over us at the close of the meeting, which had a uniting effect, and was a sweet reward. Xinth month 9th. This morning, I went to my friends S. and B. ^Nicholson, at Haddonfield, and attended their Monthly Meeting. The necessity of bearing patiently the light afflic- tions, which are but for a moment, that we may be humbled, 682 JOURNAL OP WILLIAM EVANS. emiDtied of all self-confidence, and brought to see that we are nothing, whatever may have been our gifts, and past exjjerience, was revived in my mind ; and believing that there were those among us, who were enduring suffering, and watching unto prayer for their own preservation, and for the spreading of the Redeemer's kingdom, I was induced to address them in the sym- path}^ and fellowship of the gospel ; reminding them, that it had been the lot of the Lord's children in all generations. The "fathers wei^e under the cloud, and all passed through the sea, and were all baptized unto Moses in the cloud, and in the sea; and did all eat the same spiritual meat, and did all drink the same spiritual drink ; for they drank of that Eock that followed them ; and that Rock was Christ." As we are baptized by one Spirit into one body, and made to drink into one Spirit, we experi- ence the love and fellowship of the gospel, to circulate as from vessel to vessel. Poverty and emptiness had been my feelings in coming to the meeting, and in sitting there; but 1 hoped there was something of the springing up of Divine life, and that we were a little cheered together. Eleventh month. In contemplating the trials and overturn- ings to which our religious Society has been subjected for many years in this country, I was made to believe a few days since, that the gracious Shepherd was still near to us, and that the time was not very far off, when He Avould go through his flock, and renew the visistations of his love to the younger members. That He would bestow gifts ujjon them, to be occupied in his church ; and prepare and send forth servants to proclaim and spread the doctrines of the gospel, and his blessed cause, from sea to sea; and from the rivers to the ends of the earth. Hereby the beauty, and strength, and influence of our Society, in this Yearly Meeting, and in this city, will be restored; and a body of solid and deeply experienced men and women, it appeared to mc, Avould be again raised up as standard bearers, and watchmen upon the walls of Zion. May the Lord hasten it in his time and way ; and enable us to continue to bear patiently the sufferings that remain for us to endure ; for our own sakes, and for one another, whatever they may bo. 4th. The Quarterly Meeting for Discipline, was a season of favor. The spring of gospel ministry was afresh opened ; in which several wei-e made partakers; and the oj^en service was closed with prayer, that He, who in mercy had visited us in JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS, 683 early days, and been with us all our life, unto this day, would continue to watch over us, warn us of surrounding dangers, and deliver us from them ; and that He would visit the young peo- l)le, and raise up instruments in his blessed cause; to join in spreading the kingdom of his dear Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, from sea to sea, and from the rivers to the ends of the earth. Much weight and solemn quiet continued throughout both meetings; and Friends spoke of it to one another as a time of comfort and encouragement. Having received an invitation from our dear friend, Martha Wistar, to accompany S. and B. Nicholson, in a visit to her, at her residence, near Salem, N. Jersey, on the 11th, my dear wife and I went to Haddonfield ; hoping that the ride and visit would be reviving and invigorating to my wife's health, which had been in a precarious state for several years. On the 12th, we rode down to Martha Wistar's; my wife con- versed very cheerfully, appearing to enjoy the ride, and remark- ing on the beauty of the country, as we passed through it. Next da}^, the 13th, we all attended the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders held in Salem ; towards the close of w^hich, after a Friend had spoken to one of the Queries, my wife made some remarks in unison with what had been said; and then added ; that during the time we had been sitting together, she had dwelt much on the language, "Men ought alwaj's to pray and not to faint." That while she had no unity with the spirit of activity that was so much abroad in the present day, which would lead to the repetition of mere words ; she believed the state of the church called for deep indwelling, and travail of spirit, before the Lord; to this she encouraged all, and said she believed there were some struggling ones there who were silently pleading, as at the Master's feet, for preservation ; beg- ging for themselves and for the church. The Lord regardeth such as these, and would regard them. The}^ wear their sack- cloth underneath, and that is right ; and such Avere the salt of the earth. And although discouragement might so abound, that some who were so exercised, might conclude they w^ere among the hindermost of the flock, or might even doubt whether they were of the flock of Christ, yet as they struggled to maintain the warfare, preservation woiild be experienced. That it was in the night season, Jacob wrestled with the angel ; and it w^as declared of him, "As a prince, hast thou power with God, and 684 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. hast prevailed." She mentioned what a mercy it was, that we have an High Priest, who is touched with a feeling of our in- firmities; and she wished to encourage all, to persevere in this deep, inward, fervent prayer. She did believe, that as such au exercise was maintained by those who mourned for the desola- tion of Zion, judges would be raised up, as at the first, and counsellors as at the beginning: adding "It is my firm belief, and faith, that it will be so; though I may not live to see it, yet it will be so." We returned to Martha Wistar's, and dined ; and towards evening went to S. D.'s, where we took tea, and passed the evening in cheerful conversation, and then returned to our lodgings. "We retired at usual bed-time, when my dear wife seemed as well as she had been for some time ; but a little after two o'clock, she awoke with uncomfortable feelings, and appeared unable to bear a recumbent position. Yarious means were tried to renew the impeded circulation, but in vain ; and she quietly expired without any apparent pain or struggle, in about an hour after she first showed difficulty of breathing. To me, the breaking of a tie, that made us one flesh, and in which we w^ere affectionatel}^ united in the one Spirit, and fellow- ship of the pure gos2)el of Christ, was a deeply aftecting and unex- pected event. But though deeply aflSicted, the Lord Avas merciful, in sustaining my poor soul above the billows; and enabling mo to look to Him for suj^port and preservation, now my most faith- ful companion, and cheerful, experienced counsellor and com- forter was taken away, in the ordering of his inscrutable wisdom. No one who has not had such a valuable and closely united help- meet, tbrough many spiritual trials, can be sensible of the losa I sustained, and tbe depth of aftliction into which I have been plunged by the removal of my dear wife. She was a mother in Israel ; a cherisher of the children in the early buddings of the fruits of the Spirit, in their tender minds ; and an cncourager and strengthencr of the weary traveller, bearing burdens for Zion's sake, and the support and spreading of the lledeemer's cause of truth and righteousness in the earth, in our own Sociely ; and also as she came into their company, among those of other re- ligious denominations. A messenger was sent to Philadelphia next morning, to con- vey the sorrowful intelligence to my brothers, and by them to our beloved children ; to whom it was a great shock. Several JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. 685 came down to us that evening, and next morning we accompa- nied the remains in the steamboat, to the city; where we met others at oar house, clothed with sadness. On landing at tho Avharf, I recollected that I went away, as it were, full, and now returned empty, as to any feeling of earthly cnjoj-ment. As I rode down the street, loaded with deep affliction, a voice passed through my mind, as if uttered by one of the heavenly company, "She is among the glorified in light." This was a most quickening salutation, and while it gave evidence that the redeemed spii'it of ni}' precious, departed one, was partaking of the joys of God's salvation, with the countless multitude with palms in their hands, of which she had often borne testimony in her gospel ministry^; it also showed that through the same unmerited mercy and con- descension, I was not overlooked or forgotten in my deep dis- tress. It raised thanksgiving and praise to the Lord my God, who had been with me all my life-long ; fed me and kept me unto this day ; in tho hope that He would still condescend to be with me, and keep my head above the billows, and preserve me as in the hollow of his omnipotent Hand, so that I may be en- abled to fill up the measure of suff'ering and duty that He may allot ; know all my sins to be forgiven, and my garments washed and made white in the blood of tho Lamb, and be accepted at last through Him, my gracious Eedeemer. The interment took place on second-day the 18th of the Eleventh month. Great interest and love for her were mani- fested, in the very large compan}', who convened at that time, and viewed her placid, sweet countenance, over which many tears were shed, in the remembrance of her christian spirit, and fervent labors for the good of souls. Before the company left the house, several Friends, well acquainted with her, bore tes- timony to her religious standing and worth, as a servant of Christ; who neither turned to the right hand nor to the left, but faithfully discharged her duty to her Lord and Master, for the good of souls, and the support and spreading of his blessed cause. 1862. Many deep baptisms have I passed through, and feel- ings of great loneliness, since the death of m^^ beloved and val- uable wife ; Avho was a great support and comfort to me, in our united travail for the salvation of our own souls, and of our dear children, as well as of othei's. But though greatly stripped at times, the Lord's mercy and compassion towards a poor crea- 686 JOURNAL OF WILLIAM EVANS. ture, have not been withdrawn. I have been enabled to put up breathings of spirit to Him for preservation to the end. Our Yeai'ly Meeting held in the Fourth month this year, was often favored with solemnity and religious weight. The first sitting was attended with feelings of strong desire for the res- toration of unity through the Yearly Meetings. Friends were much tendered, particularly the young people ; and one or two expressed their hope of the return of true fellowship. The presence of the Great Head of the church was remarkably felt over the meeting. Fifth month. Feeling my mind drawn into sympathy with Friends of Abington Quarter, I attended that meeting, and in the love of the gospel, was enabled to visit the tribulated members ; w^ho, like their brethren and sisters elsewhere, have to drink of the cup of suffering and fear, for the good cause' sake. I believe holy help was extended, and we were baptized by the one Spirit into one body, and were enabled to thank oilr Holy Helper, and to take a little fresh oourage. CONCLUSION. The last entry made by my brother in his diary, was that dated Fifth month, 1866. His sight had been long impaired by cataract in one eye, and the incipient stage of the same disease in the other. The loss sustained by the death of his beloved and valuable wife, though borne with christian ];)atience and resignation, as the infirmities of old age pressed upon him, was an ever present source of sorrow; which, with the irreparable shock given to his nervous system by her sudden and unex- pected removal, soon greatly affected his general health. His sight failed rapidly, and it was not long ere he was unable to see to read or to write. To one whose mind had alwaj^s been ac- tive, and who had accustomed himself to employ much time in the use of the pen, or in the perusal of books congenial with the tone of his thoughts and feelings, this privation was keenly felt. But as he was thus cut off from some outward sources of mental enjoj^ment, his attention was more and more withdrawn from external things, and in reverent retirement before the Lord, centered on the inward manifestations of his Spirit. In this deep introversion, he was often brought into low places, and close searching of heart ; renewing those humiliating views of himself, of his attainments in the way of holiness, and of his faithfulness in occupying the gifts, and making a right return for the manifold mercies bestowed upon him; of which he often speaks in his Journal. Not, as he said, that he found any thing laid to his charge, or that there was any known duty Avhich he had refused to perform; but such was his sense of the frailty of human nature, and the awfulness of the soul, when unclothed of mortality, being ushered into the immediate presence of in- finite and immaculate Purit}', that he felt there could be no hope for him, nor for any, but as in immeasurable condescension, an undoubted assurance was granted of accei^tance, through that Saviour who died for poor, lost man, and whose mercy covered the judgment seat. Although much restricted by want of sight, and the continued, 688 CONCLUSION. though gradual, decline of strength, from going far from home, he continued frequently to attend different meetings in the city, and occasionally visited one or more in the country, at no great distance. It was always a source of satisfaction to him thus to mingle with his friends, to unite with them in waiting on the Lord, and in seeking for ability to render to Him acceptable worship) in spirit and in truth. i The Fi'iends of the respe