THE Spectre Bridegroom; OR, A GHOST IN SPITE OF HIMSELF. A FARCE. IN TWO ACTS. Founded on a story of the same name, in the Sketch Book. BY W. T. MONCRIEFF, ESQ. Author of Giovvani in London, &x. &c. &c. What ? hatli this thing appeared again ? SHAKESPEARE. [As performed at the New-York Theatre J — — NEW-YORK . PUBLISHED BY E. MURDEN, CIRCULATING LIBRARY AND DRAMATIC REPOSITORY; No. 4 Chamber-street. Dec. 1821. "DRAMATIS PERSON^ Mr Nicodemus, Squire Aldwinkle, - Captain Vauntington, Dickory, - Paul, Servants, - New-York Theatrr Mr. Woodbull. Mr. Reed. Mr. Phillips. Mr. Barnes. Mr. Bancker. Messrs. Went- kc, Mise Georgiana Aldwinkle. JLavtnla, (her Cousin Miss Jones. Miss Johnson. J^LEi. LUNG, JC5 rRIKTE if, ho. S4 F ront-streeL THE SPECTRE BRIDEGROOM. ACT I. SCENE. — An apartment in Mr. Nicodemus's House. Enter Nicodemus and Servant. Nic. My cousin's servant, Paul, enquiring for me ! what can he possibly want with roe ? Let him come in. [Exit Servant. It must certainly be some business of life and death to make my gay thoughtless cousin send to me, for though every one allows we are as lil§e as two peas in person, no one has ever dis- covered the slightest similarity i-n our minds, he has none of ray solidity, none of my depth and gravity, — he's all volatility, wild, uncertain,— Hey, oh ! here Paul comes. Well, Paul, what brings you here? Enter Paul. Paul (crying) Gh, sir, such a relation ! your poor cousin Nic Poor cousin ; why he has'nt surely gam- bled away all his estate? on a cast of the die ? Pant. Worse than that, sir, though to be sure it is through the die he has lost every thing. Ah, sir, when I look at you, it renews all my grief, poor gentleman^ I fancy I see him still — oh, , fcb! {crying.) ■ 4 SMCTRE (Moncri«ff. Nic. What mean you, explain, good Paul, what horrible event are you going to relate ? Paul. My poor master, sir — unfortunate gen- tleman, he was just going to sow all his wild oats in a marriage with the young and beautiful Miss Aid winkle, daughter of the rich Squire Aid- winkle, of Aldwinkle Hall — oh ! oh ! oh ! Nic. Well, what was there so very shocking in that ? Paul. You shall hear, sir ; they had never seen one another, but my master had sent his portrait, which was approved of both by the young lady and her father. Nic. No doubt, if he remained as like me as he used to be. Paul. Very true, sir ; it was settled that my master was to go to Aldwinkle Hall this very evening, that the ceremony might take place out of hand. Nic. Well, and why didn't he go Paul. He did go, sir, but going and coming are two different things ; and it will be long enough before they find him come to Aldwin- kle Hall— oh ! oh ! Nic. Why? Paul. A slight impediment, sir — We set out the first thing this morning on our way there, but had scarcely performed a third part of the journey, when my poor master fell dowYi in an apoplectic fit ! — oh oh ! Nic. Unhappy Gaspar ! but what could he expect, living as he did. Paul. He expected to be married, sir, and repent, but the Fates ordered it otherwise. Atro- pos came with her damned shears and cut his vital thread, as close as any taylor in the king- Act. T.) BRIDEGROOM. dom could have done. Just before he gave his last kick, he called me to him, and squeezing my hand, exclaimed, u Paul, my dear Paul, as soon as its all over, send my body to the half- way-house, where dinner will be waiting for me; then hasten to my cousin, Abraham, (that's you, sir) bid him set off immediately Ao Aldwinkle Hall, break out the melancholy news to the Old Squire and my dear Georgiana, return, bury me decently, write an epitaph to my memory, take all I'm worth for his pains, and I shall rest in peace ! — oh, oh ! Nic. .Poor fellow, did he die rich ? • Paul. Pretty well for that, sir. Nic. Then his wishes shall be complied with, I'll lock up my grand treatise on Vampires, has- ten to Aldwinkle Hall this very moment, and return here the first thing to-morrow morning, to make preparations for the funeral. Unhap- py Gaspar ! he was the last of the Nicodemus family, except myself. What a pity he was'nt as like me in other things as he was in person. But, drink ! drink was the ruin of him. I'll go .directly and break out the melancholy news to Miss and the Old gentleman, while you, Paul, you Paul. 1*11 go to the half-way-house and watch 45ver my poor master's remains. Poor gentle- man, drink was, as you say, sir, the ruin of him. Heigho, sorrow is dry, I must get a little drop of something to comfort me for his loss — Good bye, sir, oh, oh ! Nic. Farewell, Paul. Heu Fugaces ! what frail creatures we are. [Exeunt amho. SPECTRE (MoucriefF SCENE II. An apartment in AldwinUe Hall. Enter Georgrana and Lavinia. Lav. If you ask my advice, my dear Geor- giana, I must candidly express my opinion, that as you wish to marry Captain Vauntington, wha lias no money, and Mr, Nicodemus, who has plenty, wishes to marry you ; you, having plen- ty, ought to take pity on the Captain's poverty, and leave me, who have nothing, to make love U I like, to Mr. iSicodemus's abundance. Its quite enough for one party to be rich in marri- age, there can be no participation if its other- wise, you know. Geo. What you say, coz. is, as it always is^ full of excellent sense ; the only question is, how is it to be accomplished. You know my father's obstinacy; his engagement with Mr. ISicodemus, and — Eh, here comes my fathe), and my dear captain too as I live ; they are discussing a subject too interesting to my feel- ings to permit my being an auditor. Let us re- tire my dear cousin, and await in hope the end ofth. i' conference. [Exeunt Georgiana and Lavinia. E nter Aid winkle and Vauntington. Aid. Tis no use talking Mr. Vauntington — if you are a Aptain, you are only a South Ameri- can captain ; they spring up like mushrooms, now o days, and egad, are worth about as much. Vaunt. But my dear sir, my family Aid. Ah, there's the thing — if you get a fa- mily, how the devil are you to support them ; besides, I've solemnly engaged my daughter to Mr. ISieodemus, he has it under my hand and Act, I.) BRIDEGROOM seal— sent it him by the C eneral Post above a month ago To be sure, I've never seen the gentleman, but his character is undeniable. Vaunt. It is not too late to retract sir! Aid. Indeed, but it is. sir, far I expect him to anive every moment. He sent t;:e word he was coming express, though there was no occasion for that; 1 knew it; lor independently of an amazingly bright fetter in the candle last night, that pointed directly towards me. my man Dick- ory, saw a stranger on the bars this morning ; that immediately he clapp'd his hands, flew into the fire—a sure sign he was a good friend ; be- sides that, my daughter found one in her tea cup, at breakfast time — an astonishingly hard bite. Vaunt. Ridiculous childish superstition ! Aid. So you may think ; but I'm of a differ- ent opinion. You're one of those heedless fel- lows now, who'd walk twenty times under a ladder and never once look behind you, and if you were to see fifty piebald horses, would'nt pull a hair out of the tail of any one of them, though you might get any thing you chose to wish for, for your pains. Vaunt. But allow me to say sir, that my passion for your daughter Aid. Zounds, sir, you'll put me in a passion, if you go on in this way, hav'nt I sent Dickory off to meet Mr. Nicodemus, at the half-way- house, where he wrote me word, he should stop and dine, on purpose to conduct him here ail the sooner. I wonder they hav'nt arrived, for its getting rather late. Vaunt. But early impressions, first love, sir — Aid. Second thoughts are best — hey, surely I hear the sound of visitors without. It must be. SPECTRE (Moncrieff. Mr. Nicodemus. Now do, my good sir, oblige n-ie by taking an answer and going. Mr. Nico- demus lias put your nose so complety out of joint that Vaunt. Vulgar rascal, but your former kind- ness— Aid. Now do go. Vaunt. My high expectations Aid. Lower your tone, my good friend, I beg, zonnds do you think you're giving the word of command; Its time I turn General, come, march ! Vaunt. I must submit to fate, you'll repent this old Aldwinkle ; take my word for it; the loss is as much yours as mine, so good night. Poor Georgiana ! [Exit Vauntington. Aid. Thank heaven he's off— now then for— Enier Servant preceding Nicodemus. • Serv. Mr. Nicodemus — Sir (Bines and retires.) ALlic. Welcome, my dear, dear sir, ten thousand welcomes. You need no introduction, from the strong resemblance you bear to your likeness, I should have known you any where. Nic* That is fortunate. I can proceed to the business at once. 1 knew if he had once seen my Cousin, he would recognize me — (aside.) I am extremely obliged by your kind- ness, sir — I regret that I should be the A dw. Make no apology, dear boy, I beg. Nic, The abruptness of this visit Aldw. Not at all. Nic. My precipitate appearance ~ Ald. You do excellently well — make no ppologies, pray. Nic. Can only be excused by the urgency— Act. I.) BRIDEGROOM. 9 Aid. I won't hear another word till you've taken some refreshment. Nic. The uncertainty of — Aid. Aye, aye, travelling is damn 1 d uncer- tain. Nic. We are but too liable to be cut short in — Aid. True, true, I must cuttou short now; for supper is just ready - and you must needs want something, travel!! - far. Nic. Nay, my dear but you must pre- pare yourself for — Aid. Take no care about that , I have pre- pared every thins; Nic. But my dear < ■ ■ fate — lament- ed Aid. Better late the .. —you're here and that's sufficient. . u hadn't come sooner, ceriainlv is dying with impatience to &e : ] here, why Georgiana, Geor- . Nic. Zounds, he won t let me edge in a word any way; — [asidi .]— -but my dear sir, allow me a few serious *vords with you Aid. Not another word 'ill you've supp'd — we'll have no serious words 'ogether if I know it. To morrow is time »u go for busi- ness — to-night dev< fce to mirth and love, you dog — pl>, here G ?oi giana comes. Nic. What shall I dq now — 1 can't men- tion my cousin's death before the ; oung lady ; she'd be going into hysterick**. I must kt the old gentleman have his way, and get him to let me relate the particulars by 'md-bye — [En- ter Georgiana.j — A fine girl, iukh. Georgiana. Did you want me, Papa ? >0 SPECTRE (Moncrieff. Aid. No, hussey ; but Mr. Nicodemus does — Mr. Nicodemus, ray daughter Georgiana ! Georgiana f aside J — What a solemn look- ing fright, I'm sure I can never bring myself to love him. Aid. Country bred, xWr. Nicodemus — un- formed at present — so much the better, you can mould her to your liking ; she's bashful but sincere. Come Georgiana, why don't you say something inspiring to Mr. Nicodemus, hus- sey, after his long journey. Georgiana. Something inpiring after a long journey. Pa ? — Well then, it I must say some- thing, perhaps I can't say better than Aid. Aye, aye, come out with it. Georgiana. Supper's ready, sir. Aid. Psha — but egad it's apropos enough ; a wag, Mr. Nicodemus — a wag — takes after me. Nic. I am as much at a lass what to say as the young lady can be ; supper s a timely re- lief, faith — [atide.~] — allow me to offer my arm, Madam. Georgiana. You are very polite sir — this way if you please. [Exeunt Nicodemus and Georgiana. Aid. I'll follow you the moment I have given some orders to the butler. I'm so rejoiced that— Enter Servant. Wei!, sirrah, what do you want ? Sen. I don't want any thing your honor- but here's Dickory — he's come back and wants to see yoe. in private, he says — Aid. Wants to see me in private ! — what oar;. Act. I.) BRIDEGROOM. if the blockhead want with me in private ? — well, Jet him come in. \Kosti Servant. I suppose he had idled his time away so, that Mr. Nicodemus was gone before he arrived, and now he's coming with some cock and a buU story to excuse himself. Enter Dickory (crying.^ Well, what the devil is that cursed long face for ? Dick. Oh, master ! — oh, Mr. Aid winkle, such a misfortune ! Oh ! Oil ! Aid. What, 1 suppose when you got to the halfway-house, you found Mr. JNidocemus had just departed ? Dick. Yeas, poor gentleman, he'd been quite gone above an hour afore I got there. 1 heip'd to lay him out when \ found how things were. Aid. Lay him out — Zounds, I hope yon didn't speak any thing ill of him. Dick. Oh no, master, we never do speak ill of those who are gone. AM. Gone, well but he's come. Dick. Come — what — ha' they brought his body here ? Aid. No, he brought his body here himself. Dick What, in a hearse ? Aid. No, on a horse, and you must go and wait on him Dick. What — sit up all night wi' him ! Aid: No, only till he's finished his supper. Dick. Supper ! — Aid. Yes, blockhead — he's just sat down with my daughter. Dick. Dang it, this be the first time I ever heard of dead men sitting down to supper wi' voting SPECTRE (Moncrief, ladies — he be quite mad — how his eyes do roll, surely. — Aside.] Bid. Zounds, scoundrel, Dickory, what are you talking about ; though I did give you five shillings to drink, I did c tell you to make a beast of yourself — he's quite drunk! — go ras- cal and wait on Mr- Nicodemus, directly. Dick. He be quite crack'd. (Aside.) Aid. Dreadfully drunk — will you do what I tell you, villi 1 in ; will you go in and see that JVlr. Nicodemus wants for nothing ; take care that he has plenty of the turtle soup, Dicic. Turtle soup — what be the good of turtle soup when a man be dead. To think now that be should die just when he were go- ing to be married ! Aid. Why, you sottish hrazen rascal, you havn't the consummate impudence to pronounce an honest gentleman dead, who is at this mo^ ment eating and drinking and making love to my daughter in the very next room ; but your own eyes shall convince yoa how richly you deserve a ducking : you say you saw the gentle- man. Dick. Ee's sure ; I were wV his poor body above an hour and a half. Aid. Then you'd know him again if you see him. Dick. Aye, out o* ten thousand. Aid. Then, see him yo 1 shall, and that this very moment ; the sight of him may bring you to your sober senses again. Please just to walk this way sir, that is, if you're able to walk. Dick. I mun humour the old man, or he may do me a mischief. Poor fellow, how mad he be. (aside.) I'm coming, sir. [Exeunt Aid- winkle and Dickory. Act. I.) BRIDEGROOM. SCENE III. Handsome apartment in Aldrvinkh Hall, Nico demus, Georgiana and Lavinia, discovered sil- ting at supper. Nic. [aside.'] Methinks that I cut but a very foolish figure here ; I neither know what to do or say; 1 believe my best refuge is in silence— Heigho .' would I were at home continuing my treatise on Vampires. Lav. Your Papa does not seem to be com- ing coz, had we not better proceed to supper ? Geo. Any thing to enliven us a little. We have been as dull aixl as silent for the last half hour as a Quaker's meeting. Will you allow me to assist you, sir ? Nic. [solemnly.] I thank you, but I have no appetite. Lav. You feed upon meditation it should :eem,sir? Nic. I must own I am partial to the grave. Gear. I hope it isn't love that disturbs the gentleman? shall 1 help you to some cold pud- ding, sir ! NiC. I never eat cold pudding ; but my time is come : I have to set off at day break, and must retire at once — a solemn duty impels me to be absent Tomorrow night I shall return again, present my regards to your worthy father; an important secret remains to be revealed to him, in which you are all deeply interested. Iam too wandering and disturbed for the task now — but to-morrow night 1 heigho! life is very un- certain. Yale! Yale! [Exit Nicodemus. 14 SPECTRE (MArtcrfcfc Lav. Bless me, what an amazingly odd man. I should as soon think of linking myself to the parish pump as such a Don Saltero. Gear. There is certainly something ve^y mysterious in his manner. Yale ! Vale ! [mock- ing him.) Lav. Hush, here's your father. Enter Aid winkle and Dickory. Aid. Now villain, Dickory — look — convince yourself that why, the gentleman's j;one I Dick. E'es, to be sure he be — didn't I tell you he were departed, but you wouldn't be- lieve me ; his madness be going away — he ha' got a losing interval — [aside Gzorgiana. Is it Mr. Nicodemus you want Pa? he has retired to his apartment, and Aid. Eh ! gone to bed, has he, and without his supper ! how is he to find out the room ? Run, Dickory, and light him — take him my nightcap and slippers — make haste, rogue. Geurgi- Aye, do Dickory, or the poor gen- tleman may break his neck over the bannisters. Dick. They all humor him, I see ; well, I mustn't be particular. I'll go sir — [takes a candle from the table.'] — but if Mr. Nicodemus be there, dang me if I doir't first eat him, and then gi' you leave to eat me afterwards. [Exit Dickory. Aid. I am sorry Dickory's drunken folly in persisting that Mr Nicodemus was dead, pre- vented my paying my respects to him before he retired. Poor fellow. 1 forgot how far he had travelled to-day ! AvM) BRIDEGROOM. 15 Enter Dickory, hastily. Did: Oh Lord ! Oh Lord ! Oh Lord ! Aid. Eh, why Dickory ! — Zounds, block- head what's the matter with you ; you look as seared as if you had seen a ghost ? Dick, That be it: you've hit it Squire, by gosh. — It be he ! Til swear to on — 1 knows till by the turn o' his nose. Oh dear I oh dear ! that ever I should ha liv'd to see a ghost. Aid. See a ghost, dolt .'--lie's at it again he's breaking out in fresh places — have you seen Mr. Nicodemus, sirrah ? Dick. Na, but I ha' seer) his apparition. It be qnite indecent and unnatural in un not to rest quiet now he's dead, like a proper Christaiu gentleman. Aid. Can the fellow really be serious ? I am confounded. Georgi. A ghost ! is the gentleman a ghost? Oh dear, I'm sure I can never bring myself to marry a ghost Pa Lav. We may profit by this [aside ] Well, I declare I thought he was something he shouldn't be by his mysterious ways ; didn't you remark, coz, that all the time he sat with us, he never opened his mouth till we forced him to it. Dick. Na, ghosts do never speak but when they be spoken to. Lav- And then, didn't you remark, Georgy, dear, that he would neither eat nor drink. Aid. Ghosts never do — I don't know what to think. Stop, Dickory ; what's that on the side of the candle ? Dirk. Why, a large lump of tallow to be £ure what should it be ? 16 SPECTRE Aid. A lump of tallow, dog — it*s a wind- ing sheet ! I never saw a more perfect one in my life. We'll n.,:>. I) BRIDEGUGOM. iT Aid. Ah, when I was looking all over the bouse after you> and wanted you so Pie. Yens, sir — I heard a loud voice cry I>ickory — Dickory — Dick — three times. AUi. Bless us, and save us, it was'nt my voice, was it, Dickory ? Die. Na, squire, it were iikerer to a trumpet, and just about the time the poor gentleman left off living, our great kitchen jack stopp'd. Aid. Its past all doubt. Mrs. Veal's ghost itself was nt more sure. What o'clock was it ivhen Mr. Nic — that is, when the gho Loui blessme, that is, when if, you know who,arrived— Lav. Exactly midnight sir. Geo. Just twelve ! Aid. The very hour j they musl'nt come out before twelve. Geo. Oh, dear papa, I never can sleep alow ftfter this. If Mr. IXicoriemus comes haunting as at nights in this manner ; 1 really must marry the captain, if its only to take care of me; so you'd better let me have him at once, pa. Aid. Eh, what noise is that t — Mercy on me, I hope it is'nt Die. He be coming — He be comii\g, squire ! Aid. Who, Dickory ! Die. The ghost, sir. AM. Let me get out of the way. What's to be done ? Die. Get behind this screen, and Til hide u id r the table. Oh gemini. here he be — Aid. Oh dear, oh dear, make haste? make b'ifcte. I tremble in every joint. [They all UuJc* Enter Nicolemus. Nic. I cannot re,st. m L8 SPECTRE (Moncrieff Aid. (looking over tlie screen, aside.) No, I'll be bound you can't. Die. Poor soul, (aside.) Nic. It must be near day-break. I smell the morning air quite fresh — hark — there's a cock crowing. 'Tis time for me to depart. Aid. (aside) Mark that. Nic. I shall not be at peace till the burial -s over, and I have revealed this fatal secret to the family. Hark the cock crows again. I must depart. Paul wiH be waiting. Heigho. [Exit Nic. They all creep out^ watching him off with fear and wonder. ESD OF THE FIRSI AC£ Act. If.) BRIDEGROOM. ACT IF. SCENE I. — -inothcr apartment in AldtvinkU Hall Enter Aldwinkle and Dickory- Aid. What a state of mind have I been ii for the last twenty-four hours : but, having been to the halfway-house, an ; convinced myself of the trutli of your story, I confess I was wrong, when I suspected yo'u of attempting to deceive 1 me ; I was wrong, very wrong. Die. E'es, sur, you were. Aid, But 1 really thought you had been drink* ing — you know you do drink sometimes, Dick- ory. Die. E'es, sur, when I be dry. Aid. However, I must endeavor to make you amends, Dickory, some of these days. Die. E'es, sur, you must. Dickens, how my hand do itch— that be a sure sign I shall ha' some money soon ; I shouldn't wonder if you: honor wasn't going to give me a guinea. Aid. Eh, a guinea — hum — there's no guineas now, Dickory, however, you shall have a sove- reign, that will do as well. Die. E'es, sur, better — I'm a loyal subject, and wish very much for a sovereign Aid. I'm glad to learn from the landlord, that poor Mr. Nicodemus' relations are going to at- lend to the funeral themselves ; it will save me ■d world of trouble, for I couldn't have refused tc £0 SPECTRE (MoncriefF put his body under ground. I hope he'll keep there, whec he is there, and not pay us anj' more of his visits Die. He'll be sure to come again to-night, squire, y. u know he said he would. Ad. Lord bless me, so he did. Die He has'nt told you the secret, yet ; and he wont rest till that be out depend upon it, none of them can. Aid. True, true — mercy on me-r-what is it O'clock now, Dickory. Die. Just twelve : the time he came last night. Aid Oh my poor wits, they are nearly all frightened away : the unhappy gentleman must have been a terrible wicked reprobate in bis time, for his poor soul to be wandering about in this manner, Dickory. Die. Yeas, he mun, indeed, but he be paying for it now. Eh, what's that, there he be aga'n sur. Aid. Oli dear, oh dear! Stand back, and let tVs observe him. Enter Nicodemus. Nic. Very odd they should leave all the doors open at this time o'night. I'm glad one melan- choly day is over, and that I have gone through so much of the painful duty imposed upon me. Night 's the only time I have left to myself now. But where can this Aldwinkle be ? 1 must not any longer delay revealing the important secret to him ; shall not be easy till then, solemnly enjoined to it as I was in the immediate mo* ments of death. He little suspects who I aui. Aid. (aside) Don t be too sure of that. /Vic. But where can he be I \ 4-Id. Now for it. ictir.j BraDEGP.oor.r •-; Nic. (looking round and seeing Ahlwtnkle'} Eli here ? this is very odd — Your servant, Mr. Aldwinkle. Aid What cnn I do to give peace to your poor unhappy soul ! if you ve any thing to un- fold, I conjure you to disclose it at once. Nic. I will— I am not what I seem, nor what you take me to be. Aid. I know it poor miserable wretch ! Dick. The murder be all coming out now' (aside.) Nic. Though 1 bear the name of Nicodemusv and exactly resemble him in every particular, I prepare yourself Aid. 1 am prepared Lord bless me ! 'Nic. I — I am merely the representative of that unhappy man — he is no longer in this world. Aid. 1 know it Mr. Gho — that is Mr. Re* presentative. Nic. Unfortunate Gasper— excuse my being overcome : I have had a long journey Die. Yeas, it be a good way, I dare say r from the other world, (aside) Nic. I had a pleasant walk through the church yard though Aid Oh, no doubt, you found yourself quite at home there. Nic. Shall I relate to you the particulars of the unhappy event ? Aid. Oh, no ; pray dont trouble yourself, Mr. Kepresentative. I am fully acquainted with all. Nic. I am happy you are. You commuri: cated the melancholy fact to your daughter ? Aid. I did. Nic. Is she resigned ? £| SFECTRE (Mo.ncrieff. Aid. Perfectly. Nic. 'Tis fortunate ; though her destined Bridegroom be no longer in the hind of the liv- ing, she can still be iMrs. INicodemus. I offer her my hand. A.d. Eh— you ? Nic. I shall provide suitable apartments. Die- (aside) Yeas ; on the ground floor, f suppose. N/c. But we will settle all these things here- after ; I have business to night. 1 expect a messenger every moment from the sexton and undertaker ! Aid. Lord ha' mercy an us ! I would'nt in* trude for the world ! No doubt another ghost like himself Come along Dickory. Die. Wi all my heart. I don't want bid- ding twice. [Exeunt Dickory and Aldwinkle : they con- ceal theiXHlves on cne side oj the * age. Nic. That's a very strange old fellow : in fact, they seem a very strange family all togeth- rr — a little touch'd, think Where r.nn Paul h»e ? I desired him to meet me here let it be ever so late— Eh, I am bla. i~g him without cause ; he is true to his ppointment ! Enter Paul ;» a mourning cl^ak, hatband, §c. 1 was just wishing for you, Paul. Paul. I could nt possibly be here before, sir, to sfttie every thing, I've flown like lightning, as it is. Aid (aside to Dickory) Who can this ter rible-looking figure be all in black Die Depend upon it, squire as Mr Nicodc mus be Young Nick, that this be Old Nic^. Act. II ) BRIDEGROOM. AS Nic. (to Paul) Have you settled with thcr sexton about the grave ? Paul. Make your mind easy, sir ; I have got you as nice a grave as you can possibly desire ; ioorny, dry, and eight feet deep. Aid. Curse hinv, 1 wish he was in it now. [aside.] Nic. That's comfortable- Paul, i have brought you a specimen of the cloaks and hatbands. See' ent they quite dfga- gee r — just the thing — Eh. Nic. They cannot be better- Paul. You shall have as handsome a fun as your heart can wish for. The landl -rd atid his two waiter? halve promised to be mourners over the bier— the mutes spoke to me last night about attending, and as for the pall-bearers, leave Paul alone for them, so you see there'll be nothing wanting. Nic. Will the bells toll before and after as I wished them. Paul Your own ears shall convince you that thev have not been forgotten, Nic. Good. Paul. 1 have settled for the funeral to take place to-morrow' ; you'll be quite ready then. Nic. Yes, I shall keep myself on purpose. Paul. It can be put off if you wish it. Nic. By no means ! the sooner the better. When once the burial has take place, I shall he at rest : 1 shan't have a quiet Right till men. Paul. You will of course move the first in thf procession; it couldn't take place without you and you'll like a ride. Aid. [as de.} Th? devil take such rides, say L SPECTRE {Moncrieff. Nic. But, the epitaph-— you've forgotten the epitaph. Paul. No, 1 havn't ; I've written one fojr you myself- -but you shall hear, [reads.] Here, taken one day by surprize, " Mister Nicodemus lies ; " Had he a little longer tarried, " To Miss Aldwinkle he d been married j v But Death, to spare a late repentance, ** Cried, 6 Come, Nick, come,' so strait lie " went hence, u And now awaits his final sentence " There, how dye like it— you must admire the final sentence if you dont any other part of it. Nic The matter is better than the manner, but it will do, let me have it neatly engraved. PguL Set your mind at ease, it shall be done by one of the first lapidaries we have. Nic. But you must need refreshment Come this way, and i will get you a bone to pick. I will now go an6 continue my researches in the Domestic History of Vampires, that I may be completely au fait to my task, and not prove myself a novice, and by the time I've married old Aldwinkle's daughter, I shall be able to put my theory in practice. Come Paul, come. [Exeunt Paul and Nicodemus. Ald- w'mkle and Dickory come forward. Die. Dang me, if this bain't the first time I ever heard of a dead man be:ng asked when he liked to be buried. Aid- 1 am perfectly perforated in every par: with horror- —going to marry my daughter and turn Vampire-- Ah •' no doubt to practise on hrr. But, thank Heaven., he'Jl he buried to- Act. IL) BRIDEGROOM. £5 morrow. Dickory, go you the first thing tor morrow and see him box d up, and d ye hear, bribe the sexton to dig his grave afoot or two deeper, and put one of the heaviest and largest stones he can gei upon it. Die. I will, sir ; any thing to keep him dowo and prevent his coming up. Aid. And in the mean time we ll go and hide ourselves till daybreak in the cellar. When ghosts are abroad, the only safe place is under ground. Die. You be right, Squire —and if he do dare to come there dang me if we don't lay un in the Red Sea o' one o' your pipes o 1 Port. [Exeunt Aid winkle and Dickory SCENE \\~~Anothtr avariment in Jldwinkl:.- Hall. Enter Georgiana, Lavinia, and Vauntington. Lav Why, my dear Georgiana, if I could be weak enough to bend my mind to supersti- tion, I must own there are corroborative cir- cumstances enough to prove the poor gentleman a ghost even to the sceptical But the reign of the invisible world has passed away with the ages of chivalry and ignorance ; the establish- ment of Sunday Schools, my dear, has signed the death warrant of all ghosts past, present and to come, so you must excuse me if I remain in- credulous. Geo. T am convine'd Mr. Nicodemus is a ghost a veritable ghost and nothing but a ghost. Vaunt A ghost my rival — then Othello's occupation's gone. To run him through will only be thrusting at the air — with such an an- 26 fePECTRE (tibncrfefc tagonist as him, the best way, I think, will be to cut and run Enter Nicodemus, unperccived by Georgian?,. &c. Nic. Eh ! engaged in secret conversation— I'll not break in upon their privacy. — {Aside J Vaunt. If we can but once get this Mr. Kicodemus under ground, we'll manage to keep him there, if we heap a mountain upon him. i 11 teach him how to rival me, a marrovvless rascal. Nic- What's that, they are saying about burying me under a mountain. I must hear farther. — [Asidz.] Geo. If he does force me to marry him, you must come at night captain and knock him on the head. Vaunt Ave, fumigate him. Nic. Knock me on the head, arnd fumigate me ! here's atrocity — [Aside] Gen. Or get him between two feather beds and smother him. Nic. Here's a she devil. — What an escape ? [Aside.] Geo. Any thing to get rid of the monster, Nic. A very affectionate wife, upon my honor. Vaunt. I m getting strangely valiant, I only wish I could face this wandering gentle- man now — I'd teach him how to r*st at night — Damme I d — Nicodemus [coming forward.') Geo. Ah ! (Sercct?ns) (Hushes out.) l r e,unt* Oh ! the devil. — Take care. [Exit hastily, Ad. II.) BRIDEGROOM. Lav % Shall I follow their example— No, why should I — I never was afraid of a man yet, and I'm sure I won't be of the ghost of one. — (dsideS) " Angels and Ministers of Grace defend me ! — Art thou a spirit of health, or [Vie. I fear I have alarmed you, madam.— Twas unintentionally, I trust my interruption is not male i d r Lav. No Sir. Tis immiteria' — if I'm to believe what I'm told — do you bring any news from the other world pray ? JVic, The other world ! She means the new world. I suppose- -(Aside.) I know of no others news madam, than that the gj prions cause of liberty is making rapid way there. La. Hum, that accounts for his bein^ at liberty here— fyside.) Nic. If T may trust the promise of those eyes, you own a nature kinder than your cousin. Were my fate linked to thine, methinks you would not nurse that fierce exterminating spir- it to which 1 was unwillingly and invisibly o- bli?p l to bear witness ere while in Miss Aid- win kle. Lav, I certainly should not wish to disturb your existence so long as you remained harm- less. Nic My researches among beings of anoth- er world, necessarily keep me secluded from this, during the day ; but at night, I invariably revisit and mingle with society Could I meet with a congenial spirit in wedlock, who would take a part in my supernatural studies, it might wonderfully change my nature and habits. 23 SPECTRE (Moncrieff Such a spirit I would fain hope I have found in you, lovely girl - (kissts h r hand. Lav. A very gallant ghost, upon my honor. A 7 ic. But I must tear myself away, or ' shall fee too late for the funeral. Lav Bless me here's a sudden change — this is from gay to grave with a witness to it. N Nic. Farewell, [ regret I am obliged to leave you — a fatal necessity. — Fleigho, farewell. [hxv Nicodemus. Lav. Very extraordinary. If he is a ghost, I don t see any difference between ghosts and men, for my part. He looks like a man and i'faith, kisses 'ike one too. Really if he should make me an offer. I don't know what ( should say to it. • suppose, he won't insist upon my being a ghostess —No, no, if he marries me hell like me to be a woman — and faith a wo- man he shall find me. — [Exit. Lavinia. SCENE TIL— Refectory of AldwinHe HalL Enter Vauntington and Aldwinkle. Aid. I have said it captain. If your valour gives ycu stoutness of stomach sufficient to ena- ble you to sit up in the haunted room all night to-night — that is in my bed-room, and lay this ghost if he should come, you have my full per- mission to marry my daughter Vaunt. It's a bargain Squire ; for my dear Georgiana s sake, damme, I've spirit enough in me to face ten thousand ghosts. Hdi You shall have a bottle of brandy, a pair of pistols, Friar Bacon, and Doctor Fans- tus, so you can't fail. Act. II.) BRIDEGROOM Vaunt. I only want a good heatt, sir, and that I've got already. Aid. I can tell yon one thing in your favor. He was to be buried to day, so I don't think he'll trouble us any more — I've sent Dickory to see, and expect him back every moment ; but away with you to your post — it's past ele- ven already, and you mus'nt let the ghost come and catch you unprepared. Vauut. Never fear squire. Omnia vincit amor. [Exit Vauntington. Dickory (Without ) Tol de dol.de dol lol. Aid. That's Dickory's voice. fcVar Dickory, (dancing and singing.*) Well, Dickory?" Die it be all over Squire.- -He be earth'd down, safe enough now, sur. I did'nt come away till I'd seen sexton fill up every crack there were—- he'll be cunning to get out this time. Aid Bravo, egad, I'm so rejoicd that Tell Thomas to bring in the great bowl of punch I ordered him to get ready : and d'ye hear, bid him put a pint of brandy additional into it We shall be sure to lack spirits now we've got rid of the ghosts. — "Fore Heav'n we ll have a night on't Dickory. Die Here be Thomas, Squire, and the punch too.-— Tol de dol, de dol lol. Enter Servant with punch. Aid Put it down Thomas ; put it down. [Servant down the, punch and retires. Now Dickory, fill up your glass — (Jills) and our first toast shall be peace to i\Jr. Ntcode- mus's manes — — ( drinks. j C2 ao SPECTRE (Moncrieff. Die WF all my heart— -Here be peace to IVlr. Nicodemus's remainders— (drink*. ) id Fill up again Dickory.— [Fills.]— And now, I'll give you -[Enta ISicodemus behind] confusion to all midnight intruders A" discovered sitting at a table. Brandy, pistols, «_anule5, books, &c. before him. • • Vaunt, [looking at his icatch] 'Tis very near twelve — 1 don't half like this job. I must take a little more brandy. — [drinks.] — It would be no use firing at him. he'd no more mind having Act. n.) BRIDEGROOM. 3. the contents of a pistol in his body than if they were only so many force meat balls ; I must take another bumper. — [drinks. — i is the only thing I have to support me — what an awful si- lence — I wish 1 could break it somehow — I'll sing — Tol lol de — No, I'm in no humor for sing- ing, suppose I try and whistle, p/10, pher, pher — [Whistles. ~] — Damn it, whistling's ominous— and besides, and besides, my throat's so dry that i must take a little more brandy.— [drinks.] — I can't be wrong— it's a spiritual ser- vice, and more fit for the chaplain of our regi- men* than me I've a great mind to sound a retreat— but then, Georgiana and her fortune.— I ll take another glass of brandy — [drinks] — then —yaw aw ! 1 feei growing amazingly sleepy, so — I'll just finish the bottle— [drinks]- -and-- yaw aw l—det'y the devil and ydw aw !• [sleeps.] Enter Nicodemus Nic. A stranger in my room ' and- Eh, p^s tols ! and— what's here ?— a bottle - Brandy-- 3 .a Vulgate —Poor gentleman, he has mistaken the way ; I'd better wake him and set him right — Sir! sir! — [tries to ivake Vauntington ] — Zounds, how fast he is. Ulloa ! what's your name ? — Mister, 1 11 bawl no more — what shall I do ? — I have it — 1 11 try if the report of one of these pistols will wake him. [tire> une of tlie pistols- Vauntjngton starts up in terror — sees Nicodemus. Vaunt. The ghost himself, by all that's dam- imble. [Exit hastily. Nic. Stop sir — Mister — Ulloa— he's ofT— very odd — what did he mean by a ghost ? I muse seek Mr. Aldwinkle and obtain an explanation. SPECTRE ^AlontrietT of these mysteries. Oh, that they would let me have a little rest— Heigho ? [Exit Nicodemus. SCENE V.— Another apartment in Aldwinkfo Hall. Enter A Id winkle and Dickory. Aid. Dickory ■ Dickory, they're at it ding dong ; I heard the pist->ls gooffjust this moments Die. Hey, dang it, here he be again ! Aid. Who ? the ghost ! Die. Na, only the Captain. Enter Vauntingtou. Aid. Well, my dear boy, how have you got on ? Enter Georgian a and Lavinia. Geo. Ah ! how have you got on, I'm dying to know ? Vaunt. What the deuce shall I say ? If I confess my defeat, I lose my Georgiana. I must brazen it out,— [ande.~]---Oh ! i've had desperate work we've been at it tooth and nail for the last half hour, but ! think the business is settled now. Firing was of no use, one might as well have shot at the air ibr all the wounds it created, so i had at him with the Latin, Fri- or Bacon, Doctor Faustus. and Agrippa. Die Ay, he be a gripper, indeed. Aid. That's right, i could have lajd him myself, if I had but understood Latin. Vaunt. 1 fumigated him, and exercised him. Die. Dang me, but \ should ha" liked to ha seen un done his exercise. Aid. Be quiet, Dickory, scoundrel ! Act. IT.) BRlDLGRbOM. '63 Vaunt. And at length T pressed him so hard, that he took himself off through the key- hole in a clap of thuntle/, and i dare say will never shew his face here again, Die Na, not till the next time. Kid. My dear dear boy, you shall marry Georgianna directly, I suppose the foolish phantom thought he had children to deal with. ilntt r Nicodemus Nic. Mr. Aldwinkle, what is the reason sir (The women scream— all exit hasti- ly in zrtal terror Nic. This is more and more extraordinary. Surely I must have been metamorphosed un- known to myself; transmogrified into some monster, or-- But I have more important things to occupy my mind, [Aldwinkle, Lavinia, &c„ app ar listening.] The great and conclusive truth at which I have arrived in my grand work, renders my mind sufficiently disengaged to think of love. There is no doubt that Vam- pires seeK an union with mortal beings express- ly to prolong their existence on this earth. I shall instantly therefore see! the fair Ald- winkle, and achieve our marriage. After what I have endured, meanwhile, a walk in the moonlight will revive me [Exit Nicodemus. Enter Aldwinkle, Georgianna, Lavinia, Vaunt- ington, and Die ory creeping in. Lav. There sir, you hear what he said, he is a Vampire, and merely seeks an union with my cousin to prolong his existence, Geo Oh, s : m sure lil never marry a Vam- pire, pa ; he'd eat me up if I did. spectre; (Moncrle£ Die- Ah, kill you wi' kindness. Lai You see he's gone into the garden to twin* him fell to life again in the moon-beams, from the wounds of the captain Yah nt Why I did kill him half a dozen times- certainly. Dio. Dang it, T did'nt know the moon were a doctor afore- -they be all mad ( aside,) Aid. What a persecuted old man I am— What's to be done, how can we get rid of him ? Lav. listen to me, sir — Guarrantee that the Captain shall have my cousin, and settle a small fortune on me, and I underta' e to r.eep JMr. Nicodemus from ever troubling you at flight again ; 1 11 make him rest, 1 11 warrant him A L Do that, and I'll make your fortune *qual to m\ daughter's. Lao- pledge my life on the result ; join me a few minute.;; hence in the garden, and let the jjerformance of your promise follow that of mine, [Exit Lavinia* Aid, An odd wench, iTaith- 1 should nt at all wonder if the jade was to keep her word. Let us walk slowly on, for I long to ascertain the truth. [Exeunt omnes. SCENE THE LAST. Gardens of Aldwinkle Hall, by Moonlight, Nice- dkmus, solus. Nic. Can it be possible, that the moon bpa.in- jng such cool pure lustre can entrance men s minds to madness — She bathes me in her filmy light like dew, refreshing and allaying— melting Act. ii.) Bridegroom. * $jj me into softness, and attuning each sterri chord of heart to love and harmony — Heigho f Enter Lavinia. By heavens, responsive to my feellings comes this angelic girl, to captivate and charm. Lav. My good sir, it you have no particular wish to be <\nock'd o'the head tor an evil spirit, you will give over these nightly wanderings ; hit upon some decisive method of proving your- self an ipso facto man, and res-t quietly in your Led at night Nic. How admirably she will assist me in my learned labors. Lav. I 'ear I am more likely to disturb his learned labors, than to assist him in them. Nic. An evil spirit— -nigh tlv wanderings—* knock me o'the head A light begins to break in upon me — how better can I prove myself a man, sweet girl, than by uniting my life's fate with thine. Lav. Marry me !-— that will be one way certainly. Nic. Thus on my knees- —(kneels. ) Enter Aldwinkle, Georgiana, Vauntington and Dickoiy. Aid. He's laid at last — see he's on his knees Pegging for mercy. Lav. Rise, sir, I know all you are going to say — and as J've no very particular objection, there's my hand. Nic. Upon my word— a very sensible girl — * she saves one a world of trouble. Lav. And now, sir, (to Aid.) I claim the per- formance of your promise. _ To rid your house €i Ci^tci S& SPECTRE (MoncriefT. 4 the nightly visits of this terrible being, and to ma e him rest quiet!; as oth^r Christians do, I have heroicall resolved to sacrifice myself, and marr him. Ad. What, marry a ghost— a vampire — a spirit ? A c I see it, all, here has been a grand mis- take ; you have confounded me with Vti) cousin. Aid. Egad, it seems we've all been couzenec and confounded too — however, I m heartily glad things have turned out as the* have ; but you, Dickon, how came ou to take it into your head this gentleman was a ghost ? D C Wh , sir, if he warm a ghost, he was a spirit : and spirits en often get into my head. Lav I wiil explain even thing, and rid you of all further cause of fear i his gentleman will li e me none the worse for having a fortune — My cousin will li e hirrr none the worse for having been the means of uniting her to the captain ; and, if our Friends permit our hnrm* Jess ghost to Wd& a few nights longer for their amusement, we shall like them none the worse ; but receive a zest to act with additional spirit fqr the future. [Exeunt amnn. THE END,.