MASTER NEGATIVE NO. 93-81597- MICROFILMED 1993 COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY LIBRARIES/NEW YORK as part of the "Foundations of Western Civilization Preservation Project" Funded by the NATIONAL ENDOWMENT FOR THE HUMANITIES Reproductions may not be made without permission from Columbia University Library COPYRIGHT STATEMENT The copyright law of the United States - Title 17, United States Code - concerns the making of photocopies or other reproductions of copyrighted material. Under certain conditions specified In the law, libraries and archives are authorized to furnish a photocopy or other reproduction. One of these specified conditions is that the photocopy or other reproduction Is not to be "used for any purpose other than private study, scholarship, or research." If a user makes a request for, or later uses, a photocopy or reproduction for purposes in excess of "fair use," that user may be liable for copyright infringement. This Institution reserves the right to refuse to accept a copy order If, In Its judgement, fulfillment of the order would Involve violation of the copyright law. AUTHOR: TITLE: THOUGHTS ON AFFECTATION: PLACE: LONDON DATE: 1809 COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY LIBRARIES PRESERVATION DEPARTME^4T BIBLIOGRAPHIC MICROFORM TARGET Master Negative # Original Material as Filmed - Existing Bibliographic Record TB9 Lo-vicfo-n Iy03. lOV), !g people. 0. /^t^G^ p. Restrictions on Use: TCCl5^C/i~MCROFOmbATA FILM SlZE:___^^_':y:r. REDUCTION RATIO: tix IMAGE PLACEMENT: lA flS IB IIB DATE FILMED: l-ZT-'i^ INITIALS .^^^.^^ FILMED BY: RESEARCH PUBLICATIONS. INC WOODBRIDGE. CT ' / r Association for Information and image Management 1100 Wayne Avenue. Suite 1100 Silver Spring. Maryland 20910 , 301/587-8202 Centimeter 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 mm ,,,.[,,,.|ii.|lim||l|.lM | ilim^ Inches 1.0 I.I 1.25 BilAU 1.4 m ■ so ||2.8 2.5 ' I" P^ 2.2 16.3 ill 3.6 lil^ 1^ 2.0 1.8 1.6 MflNUFflCTURED TO flllM STRNDflRDS BY RPPLIED IMRGE- INC. 4^ ''"^ '^r^jL 'i: ►•»■.• \1T T39 lit th^ ffiltij 0f %U%v Dark library. fc'' t-- :^m^' Y^^^s^^"^. ^-i,; ^^e^r- - • ■J .>^-^ :S'^ This book is due two weeks from the last date stamped below, and if not returned or renewed at or before that time a fine of five cents w day will be incurred. JUN 9 - 1930 THOUGHTS ON AFFECTATION: M % i(:S, ADDRESSED f CHIEFLY TO YOUNG PEOPLE. SECOND EDITION, r&INT£0 BT RICHARD CRVTTWELL, ST. JAMES's-STREET, BATH; AND SOLO BT WILKZE AND ROBINSON, PATER-NOSTER-ROW, LONDON. 1809, llf i -•k ^ ^ . CONTENTS. i € %-\ CO Firtm. Vices, or FaiUngs. Affection towards Panmti W ECLECTofParentsand Re- andRclations i lations g Charity, and Universal Bencvdcncc 12 Covetousncss, and Narrow-Mbdl cdncss ............ ,_,____^ i5 Courage — - 20 Cowardice "'"" 24 Friendfliip,andWannAffcaion8 . 22 Indifference, & Coldness of Manner 31 ^nc«'°fi^ 34 Meanness 37 ^^^^^^ 39 Ingratitud 41 J*""»^»^ 46 Arrogance „ Modesty, and Innocence 56 Boldness and Impudence .. '/ " 61 MJdness,& Gentleness of Temper 67 Eagerness, Violence of Temper . 7? Pauencc o- Tm^^f;™ il «.,;._ *** Impatience S6 *^«!'S»*» 89 Impiety <,, Senous Disposition, and Fondness Levity, and WUd Love of A^^. Jo^^^^^ 98 ment Temperance , Truth, and Plain Speaking .. log ... 116 104 AmabU ^lifications. Accomplishments and Taste in va- rious Arts ,28 Attention Cleanliness --.-.-.... 146 Elegance of Manner and Drefs ..152 Intemperance— Gluttony ..... iii Bluntness ijf Disagrteahk Habits, Contempt for all Acquirements . 135 138 Thoughtlessness— Indifference ..142 Slovenliness -- --...• 149 Awkwardness, and Unfeshionable Indulgence for the Failings of others 164 learning. Knowledge : and what is commonly called Knowledge of the World ,7^ CEconomy ----..-....«.... lyg Dress »S7 Prudence Strictness 16S Ignorance, with Contempt for all Knowledge .............. 175 Extravagance igi Imprudence ...*... igf Tendemefs, Feeling, or SenfibiUty 197 Roughnefs, li'rfliVeft, w BmJa% 199 Accidental Circumstances in Life, not depending on ourselves. Beauty 207 Bodily Strength -..^ j,^ Family Good Health Memory ... Riches .... Youth .... 220 230 239 Ugliness nj Weakness 217 Low Birth -..-- 225 Illness 233 Forgetfiilness, or Abfence 244 24S Poverty 251 *55 Age 258 1^7158 I \ [■ . lA INTRODUCTION VANITY of vanities ! all is vanity ! " said the Wise Man long ago ; and in these days, ' AfFeftation of afFeftations ! all is ' afFeaation ! ' says a much less wise, but in this point as true a voice. Vanity and Affeftation, It may be affirmed, are frequently almost syno- nimous ; and they are assuredly closely allied, if not aftually the same, for the one scarcely ever exists without the other. And it is not more certain, that almost every virtue and every vice may be traced to the source of vanity, than that nearly every aftion of every person's hfe IS tinftured with affeftation. 1 his will the more readily appear, when we consider, that as every virtue has its opposite vice, so we have often seen afFedations of the most decidedly opposite natures : for by afFeaation I do not [ vi 1 merely design to speak of the elegant and fashionable frivolities of a pretty young woman, but to point out afFedation in the old as well as the young, the poor as well as the rich; and to prove, if I am able to explain, that of which I am myself thoroughly convinced, that as much affeftation exists in the cottage as in the palace ; and that the shabby old coat, or unfashionable gown, is not unfrequently as afFecied a clothing as the gayest ornaments of the gayest lady. If I should in the course of this attempt now and then introduce an incident, with a view of exemplifying my opinions, I hope it may not prove unacceptable to my readers. And as I think it will be the best method to divide what I propose to say according to the various kinds of affectation, which in the course of a long life I have so often observed ; I shall begin by a list of those Virtues, Vices, amiable Qualiji' cations, disagreeable Habits, and accidental Cir^ cuinstances in Life not depending on ourselves, M'hich most frequently have affeflation for tlieir constant companion. I have long beheld with wonder the excess of affeftation displaying itself in every different line of life, with which it has been my lot to [ vii ] be acquainted ; and whilst I have felt myself shocked at the measure of pride so discover- • able in most persons, even when the subjefts of their self-approbation were in some degree praiseworthy, my astonishment has been so excited by the aftual affeftation of, and pride in, praftising not only follies, but positive sins; that it does appear to me as if most of the faults and failings of the world were reducible into that one defe6l — Affedation; and that if that one would submit to correction, great pro- gress might be made towards amendment. Impressed with this idea, I have arranged a few thoughts on those circumstances and their opposites, which I have oftenest found to be accompanied by or productive of pride; which, considered either in a more or a less serious light, so utterly destroys all pretension to merit, that it in faCt strips every acquirement of art of the praise which is its due, every elegance of its power of pleasing, and, alas! even every virtue of its intrinsic worth ; which ever must, after the most strenuous endea- vours, consist in acknowledging good aCtions to be mere efforts of humble obedience. On this subject then, ou which I am going to address my younger friends in particular, a 2 J [ viii J (though if those of my own age will favour me with their notice, they may perhaps confess that afFeftation belongs to the old as M'ell as . to the young;) I shall hope for indulgence, and beg for candour, to refleft that I by no means intend to imply that the people guilty of some of the follies held up to their view are to be supposed guilty of all: yet one leads to another; and the danger of affedation once given way to in the early part of life is such, that I have scarcely ever known a very affeaed young person, who has matured into a com- posed and a plain old one. But I shall confine myself chiefly to the affec- tations of my own sex ; and, oh ! that I could prevail on women to become what I wish them ! how assuredly would their reformation reform the more material part of human kind! For the insignificance of the woman occasions the insignificance of the man , and so the circle runs round in a variety of absurdities, every additional one still more disagreeable than the last. Whilst men find themselves so far from slighted, that, on the contrary, they are admi- red for their excesses, can it be imagined they ^ Avili alter ? or will the) ever suppose that the ' pretty fool who talks such entertaining non- [ « ] sense with them, is really capable of supporting a more distinguished part in conversation, than just to join in descanting on the merits of a favourite horse; or to settle some material point in the reigning fashion of the moment.^ Yet though I must of course be better ac- quainted with those foibles, from which I dare not fancy myself entirely free; and that I must have more accurate knowledge of female follies, than it is possible for me to have of those more peculiarly belonging to men ; yet even they must forgive me, should I occasion- ally venture to mention vanities of theirs, which are so often observable in those who indulge in what a very slight degree of consi- deration might easily have repressed during youth; but which, suffered to increase with increasing years, in age becomes so inveterate, as too probably to baffle the inclination to over- , come evil habits which cannot fail at last of arising in every person's mind, who feels that his own follies are the causes of many a dis- comfort, not only to himself, but to all those connefted with him : for of the ipconve- niences (to use no harsher term) of which indulged Affeftation is the root, there is indeed no end. . * C X ] ''inm Those who familiarise themselves, even rela- tively to trifles, with the meanness of deceit, (and what is afFeaation but deceit?) soon become regardless of that stridness of truth, so necessary with respeft to even our worldly transaftions; and as one error is usually an introduaion to another, neglea will inevitably follow of many a virtue, on which happiness both here and hereafter must depend. People allowing themselves continually to impose upon the world, by degrees impose upon themselves, and imagine they are really the virtuous or amiable charaaer they have so long been only aaing; but sadly will they perceive that mere imitation of good has produced a fatal difference, which time must discover to every eye ; whilst conscience has, sooner than possibly was desired, opened to themselves the truth of their disposition. Every thing that is good or amiable, is however in itself so enga- ging, that although one may grieve at their not endeavouring really to be what they take such pains to imiiale, one feels scarcely surprised when people pretend to be what is universally admired. But what is truly astonishing, is the unaccountable imitation of m/ that is so com- mon, which certainly hardens the mind, and becoming habitual, makes it ready for the reception of every improper thought ; and ren- ders those who have encouraged that species of affeaation as guilty of the crimes or follies, aa appearance of which they have ridiculously prided in, as if they had actually committed them. It is wonderful that things in them- selves notoriously bad, nay vicious, should meet with admirers, who are ambitious of being supposed what they are not, by affeaing con- dua which gives them no pleasure, and renders them odious to others ; yet such is the faa, as some of the following examples will, I think, clearly prove : and though it be a mortifying acknowledgment for us to make to ourselves, that so many of our apparently best aaions are derived from affeaation and vanity, yet should the truth come home to any one heart, it is to be hoped that amendment will follow conviaion ; and then I may venture to say, that ** If I one soul improve, I have not Hv'd in vain." Beanie's MimtreL This little work, trifling as it is, not being the produaion of fancy, but of much serious observation, and wish to serve my neighbours, I address it to them, in the hope that it may prove useful to some, perhaps not unentertain- Jng to others. It pretends not to new dis- coveries ; but a few short remarks on common subjeas may possibly serve tS amuse an idle hour: and, designed as it is for the benefit chiefly of the youthful reader, should it fail of success, the writer will not have much to repent of, since the intention was at least not improper ; and that even should it do no good, it can certainly do no harm. VIRTUES. VICES or FAILINGS. Affection towards Parents and Relations. ♦' ^^99 i A ITECTION for parents and relations seem* •»* in itself so natural as well as necessary a part of every person's disposition, that it scarcely de- serves to be affefted ; when it appears impossible for any mortal to divest himself of what, from seeming so interwoven with every person's being, has but little right to the appellation of virtue, since there is none in doing that which we cannot help. But yet the affeftion, if constantly kept up, for parents, when illness, old age, or perhaps still other circumstances, may render them peevish, tiresome, or mconvenient to their children ; in such cases, steady affeaion, though certainly an indispensable duty, may be reckoned as a virtue: for there may sometimes be a difficulty in the exercise of lU Yet fer be it from B W. C xii 3 prove useful to some, perhaps not unentertaia- mg to others. It pretends not to new dis- coveries ; but a few short remarks on common subjeas may possibly serve t6 amuse an idle hour: and, designed as it is for the benefit chiefly of the youthful reader, should it fail of success, the writer will not have much to repent of, since the intention was at least not improper ; and that even should it do no good, it can certainly do no harm. VIRTUES. VICES or FAILINGS. Affection towards Parents and Relations. '\ \ A ITECTION for parents and relations seemg ■*• in itself so natural as well as necessary a part of every person's disposition, that it scarcely de- serves to be affefted ; when it appears impossible for any mortal to divest himself of what, from seeming so interwoven with every person's being, has but little right to the appellation of virtue, since there is none in doing that which we cannot help. But yet the aiFeftion, if constantly kept up, for parents, when illness, old age, or perhaps still other circumstances, may render them peevish, tiresome, or inconvenient to their children ; in such cases, steady affeftion, though certainly an indispensable duty, may be reckoned as a virtue : for there may sometimes be a difficulty in the exercise of it. Yet fax be it from B '% n [ 2 ] me to insinuate that any virtue can be separated from duty, when the most exalted pitch of virtue comes far short of what is confessedly every Christian's duty : to perform it therefore in its fullest extent, is every one's interest, as it likewise is never to disunite the connexion on which so much of comfort depends. Yet natural, necessary, and virtuous, as this sen- sation of affeftionmay be, it is melancholy to observe how often it is a mere representation where it does not exist, in order to impose on a world, which after all is seldom imposed upon, but sees with contempt ( through the thin disguise put on by a gay young lady attending with care on her father's infirmities, whilst she is all anxiety for the hour of escape from the dull occupation; and the moment the coach ar- rives to convey her to the place of her destination, leaves the pillows to be arranged by the servants, and flies to more cheerful scenes : unless indeed some person whom she wishes to please should chance to be present, then does the tenderness of her con- duft display itself in the fullest glory ; and she needs to be reminded more than once that she is waited for, before she quits the dear task of alleviating with her own hands the distresses of a parent. The tender and careful mother is often as dls- gustingly affefted in her proofs of love towards her child; but why affeft, or be proud of, what every [ 3 ] woman, nay every female in the creation, feels for her offspring? Nobody would doubt your love, were you not so over-anxious to display it; and then we cannot help observing that these over-abundant caresses are seldom lavished, except when you are sure of admirers ; and that if perfeftly free from company, the hour of dressing often interferes with a visit to the nursery. Nay more, that before you can quit the superintendance of your table below, and have finished coffee with your ladies above, the time is come for you to repair to your evening en- gagement, when the dear infants being buried ia sleep, it would be cruel to disturb them; and though you talk much of maternal fondness, you proceed to your amusement with as unthinking a mind as that of the little innocents you have neglefted. Why tell us so repeatedly, as your children advance in years, of your excessive anxieties for their welfare; how your thoughts are night and day busied in planning schemes for their advancement in their several pro- fessions or situations in life ? Why so earnestly en- deavour to persuade us of what we supposed to be the case ? For it is not uncommon for parents to love their children! Though the pains you so evidently take for yours to be remarked, lead us a little to suspeft it ; and, though unwillingly, to think of At feftatlon. B 2 C 4 3 Affeftion for relations in general is still more frc- .quently an affeftation ; for though it be nearly im- possible for people not to love their fathers, mothers, or children; yet a vehemence of fondness for others, only because they bear the same name, or are derived irom the same family, is truly absurd. But this often is to be met with ; and one hears people talk with regard of those whom they have never seen, without knowing a single circumstance of their cha- rafter, and that merely because they bear the name of cousin ! I have felt disgusted in nearer rela- tionship, to hear people express themselves with delight at the idea of becoming acquainted with a nephew or niece, born years after a total se- paration had taken place from the parents, and pretending that -as relations they must and did love them. As relations they might and ought to be willing to serve them, to assist them, with the most friendly aftivity, in all their concerns j to feel an interest in whatever befals them j but to love those whom we know nothing of, is impossible. I once knew a lady, whose affeftion for her relations was, as she said, so great, that she aSually shed tears of sorrow for the loss she was likely to sustain on the illness of an uncle whom she Bad not often seen, and with whom she was the greatest part of her [ 5 1 life totally unacquainted ! Surely this deserved the name of affeftation. Affeftion between husbands and wives, though not altogether so natural, or so constant, as that from parents to their children, and vice versa, yet is so generally allowed to be both a duty and a virtue, that it is but too often affefted, where in truth there is none. But pleasing as it is to behold domestic happiness and regard evincing itself on even the moft trifling occasions, mutual attention and confi- dence marked by a look or a trivial word : so is it in an equal degree offensive to observe formal civility, or attempts to appear warmly affeftionate and friendly, where one is conscious, that coldness, if npt disagreement, is the daily bread of that ci*ele, who to their guests seem the most attached of all families. Oh ! why only affe^ what would consti- tute real bliss ? Why not really be what you knoW would deserve the good opinion you so labour to gain ? Let true affeftion fill your hearts, and thea you will not feel even a temptatwn to make a pa- rading shew of that in which you will have no undue pride, whilst you really exercise it. [ 6 3 t • 'I •a Neglect of Parents and Relations. CAN it be possible this should ever be affefted ? Tes, very possible j much too common and improper as was the other kind of affeaation, this is doubly so. Negleft of those to whom care and kindness are due, is in itself so hateful, that it seems an almost incredible, and is a truly extraordinary, thing ever to be affefted by any person, who feels even the slightest regard for those it is so natural to love : whilst the hard-hearted being who is conscious of want of ten- derness for his nearest conneaions, must, one would imagine, be covered with shame, should his negleft become known. But so far from this, lightness of manner, and a disrespeflful mode of mentioning those to whom nature attaches us, is such a mark of fashion, that many an idle young man has talked of theflW^orthe o/^^/W in company, and joined in ridiculing their failings, or perhaps, alas ! their infir- mities ; when after all that very man has always be- haved with a decent propriety towards both his parents when in their presence, and indeed in the general tenor of his conduft has by no means been wanting in that affeflion which he so absurdly affefts [ 7 ] to despise! This affeftation of negleftlng parents and relations is more peculiar to men than to women, the latter being usually proud of their fine feelings, whilst the former equally boast of their harshness ; but either fashion, or a foolish thirst for praise, occa- sions both. The woman, though unwillingly perhaps, staying at home to make the tea of a sick relation, comforts herself with the amiable charafter which her proper condufl insures to her. The man, scorning to be tied to the apron-string of an old woman, or confined to the dullness of a sick chamber, laughs at the poor fools who waste their time in such nonsense, and admires himself^ though few other people pay him the same compliment. A fear of incurring the justly-odious appellation of a legacy-hunter, often leads a man into the extreme of negleft, and makes him, by afFefted brutality, deny to himself and deny to his friends (at seasons, when sickness, sorrow, or old age, leave but little enjoyment) the soothing pleasure which might arise from the kind attention of a person, who, having other amusements in his power, from that very circumstance of the attendance being voluntary, fails not to give double delight to the thankful sufferer; who blesses his entrance into the room, dwells with fondness on his countenance, is revived by the sound of his voice, and is proud of his performing a mere duty ! Is it worth while to I I. I 8 J forego all this, with (to crown the whole) the encouraging approval of conscious reftitude, only to attam the name of a fine-spirited young fellow ? But .f you must be affeaed, afFea that which leads to the happmess of your relations and conneftions, not that .which must raise a blush whenever you are named, and which must to yourself be disgraceful; for the man who could answer, when the health of h.s dymg w,fe was enquired after, « I believe she contmues much the same," must have affefled more neglea than could be true; since living in the same house with the poor woman, notwithstanding the most excessive inattention to her, he could n« fail of W/«^ what her situation was; this man dd indeed for ever disgrace himself in the opinions ot those who heard him. I know another instance of (I hope) equally affefted *glea, m a man of very high rank, who, after a dinner was over in his own house, at which he had done the honours for some hours with perfeft ease and politeness, at length addressed the company With « And now let me beg you to drink my new son s health, for just after we sat down, a servant « ^Tt "' ?'' "-"'^ **"* ^' ^™"ght to bed. One of the party, whom I can trust assured me he heard the unfeeling speech; whilst* he shuddered at the indifference of the fo^iicnaiU [ 9 I husband, which, whether affeSed or real, prefcnted- his flying to the apartment of his no longer suffering wife, and bestowing a first blessing on his child ! Though such charafters as these do sometimes occur, who are proud of their coldness and inattention, with what pleasure does one refleft that the tender father and the affeflionate husband are far more generally to be met with. Very few women ever attempt to gain admiration by an appearance of negleft to their conneftions, or of indifference to their children ; though true it is, I have known some exceptions; and as an instance beg leave to mention a faft, which I know to be truth, of a lady, who, with the highest absurdity of affeflation^ answered a visiter, who asked, on hearing the steps of children upon the stairs, " how many " she had?'* * I really never remember; one of * the servants can tell.' — What must have been that woman's sensations, when of her ten children, only one lived to grow up ! Could she consider the loss as a common accident in life ; or, humbled in the dust, did she confess the punishment was just? But though women seldom affeft unfeeling negleft, yet at the same time it must be acknowledged, that when I have sometimes heard a father say with un- pleasant roughness to the nurse, ' " take away that " squalling brat ;" that the mother has instantly [ 10 ] caught It from the servant, clasped it to her bosom with maternal ardour, and accused her husband of cruehy to the dear angel! On beholding such scenes, I have suspeded the behaviour of both was assumed; and have in course of time discovered in the subsequent conduft of the father more real care of the child, than in that of the afie£Uonate mother. AflFeftation of negleft is most frequently to be found amongst the great ; and is, to their credit be it spoken, seldom praftised by very low people. A low man may sometimes speak roughly of his parents, meaning by his manner to prove he is now no longer subjeft to their controul ; and so far as the rough- ness was designed to assert independence, he was guilty of affefted negleft. But it is certainly not so common as amongst the better-educated orders, whose superior acquirements ought to have made them better acquainted with the duty due to the supporters of their infancy, than fashion chooses to admit of, to whose laws they voluntarily sacrifice the first and dearest ties of nature, the pleasures of domestic affeftion ; whilst the most ordinary servant makes it a sort of point now and then to spend a holiday in visiting the old folks, asking after brothers and sisters, and telling how they themselyes go on. How great is the contrast with the cold and very rare meetings, which take place amongst some of [ n ] the highest rank ; and how painful is the reflee- tion, that a want of natural tenderness should ever be afFefted as a mark of good sense or elegance, or ever attraft admiration! Let the depraved heart which can either affeft or admire such conduft, ask itself, and tremble at the reply, whether " Honour " thy father and thy mother,"' be not a command from on High ? a- !■>. 3a; f Charity, and Universal Benevolence. nPHE first is so fully and so beautifully described -*^ by St. Paul, that it stands in no need of my praise to recpmmend, not the affeftation, but the real praftice of that without which every other good qua, lity is declared to be nothing worth. Yet no virtue is so often only afFefted as charity ; I mean that part of it most particularly which relates to alms-giving. — To a subscription put about by a person of rank, where the name of the giver will be known, how many-^ guinea is produced, by thofe who have re- fused a shilling to the distress they were perhaps really acquainted with! The pleasure of putting a large offering into a plate held by a Bishop often brings twice as qiuch to a charity, as would have been colleaed if only the Curate had stood at the church door. But notwithstanding these instances of folly, which are well known to every body, I do not pre- tend to insinuate that want of charity is the failing of the present age— far from it, and the number of [ 13 ] public charities most nobly supported, with the still greater quantity of private ones, would loudly con^ demn me if I dared to complain of want of relief for the distressed. Yet how far donations to the poor really proceed from a sense of duty, or how far they are prompted by an affeftation of virtue, every individual must settle with himself; may every one^ on due examination, find that no wish for praise occasioned the gift, and all will be well ! But top often is it a faft, that the obscure petitioner will be harshly refused, whilst the genteel charity is cheer- fully engaged in ; of this a strong instance occurs to me, which I cannot help relating. I one day ap- plied to a rich and elegant lady for some relief for a poor family whom I knew to be in the greatest dis- tress, owing to the father's extreme illness prevent- ing him from the daily labour, by which he main- tained a laying-in wife and several children, one of whom had lately had the misfortune of breaking a leg. I was not a little hurt to be answered with the greatest coldness, " that it was impossible to relieve " every body that was in want : and that she had already given all she chose to give in charity to Lady — , in order to help her poor coachman to " Bath to vi«t his friends, and perhaps try the effi- ** cacy of the waters for his stomach.*' ' But,* said I, * these good people are your neighbours, the (C cc ;* J wn\ cc cc [ 14 ] • father has often worked in your grounds ; they are • worthy, and in great distress/ " Well, and what ** of that?" replied my uncharitable acquaintance, ** I can't maintain all the people I hear of; besides, you know, there is such a thing as the parish, let them apply to that.'* I presently took my leave, when on going out of the house, I was stopped by a footman, (whom I had observed to linger in the room, busy in repairing the fire, for a considerable time during our conversation,) who, with tears in his eyes, said to me, slipping a couple of shillings into my hand, * I have known honest Tom for years ; I * wish this were more ; but such as it is, he is * heartily welcome.* I went away delighted, and, as may easily be imagined, not without thinking of the poor wi Jow and her mite ! That alms-giving is not the whole of charity, we all know, as likewise that charitable suppositions of our neighbour's conduft are no small part of this uni- versal benevolence, which it is so much the present mode to praise, although the praftice be not alto- gether so general as might be wished. But how often does the afFeftation of being charitably inclined not to spread a scandalous report supersede the real virtue of quiet silence, and shew itself by the insi- nuation of " having heard it said," " not affirming it as a truth," " not venturing to be positively cc t 15 ] «* sure,** ^* only repeating what has been told,*' adding at the same time, " that there is the strongest *« reason to believe the intelligencer was well in- «« formed;** and then this speciously-charitable pre- face is followed by some foolish or perhaps mischie- vous anecdote, which genuine charity would have buried in silence ; whilst such pretended charity (and I hope I shall not be deemed too strift when I call it so) is aftually sinful. Universal benevolence to every body and every thing is often put on in so awkward and ridiculous a manner, that some people have been tempted into an appearance of the op- posite extreme ; which, of the two affeftations, is doubtless the most disagreeable. For whilst one cannot enter into the sorrows of the benevolent lady mourning over the sickness of her favourite bird, one is still more offended by the affefted harsh- ness with which a young man kicks a dog out of the way, and bids the servant go and hang it. Each was equally affefted; she felt not the sorrow she pretended, and he^ so far from meaning to hurt the poor beast, would perhaps have been one of the first people to take notice of it, had it met with any little accident; and had the servant obeyed his order, would have dismissed him as a fool ! Affeft not then more benevolence than you possess; display no vehement anxiety to preserve the life of a drown* C 16 ] ing flf , when you hear of the loss of a vessel con- taming numbers of your fellow-creatures with the cool mdifference which attends a common piece of uews! Affeft not readiness to relieve, which you do not in earnest feel ; for your backwardness will betray itself, when you least cxpeft it. But above all, do not, to avoid one, run into another affeaation, and so fall into a still more blameable error. Covetousness s OB RATHER, NarroW'Mindedness. POSITIVE Covetousness lies under so general a dislike, that its appearance is very seldom indeed assumed by those who are not guilty of it. Though under the appellation of care, or oeconomy, much real covetousness conceals itself; and the covetous person, who afts either of these truly-respeftable qualities, does it from consciousness, that the ardent desire to save a penny, which constantly aftuates the narrow-minded, requires some decent disguise under which to shelter itself. Proper care not to be C 17 ] deceived,^ and oeconomy, are therefore called in to varnish over the real unfeeling reluftance to assist a neighbour, which is but too prevalent in every co- vetous mind. How many strange excuses are contrived to ex- plain why it would be imprudent to believe what is told, when the consequence of the belief must from common decency, if not from charity, have produced something from the purse ; and exaggerated care teaches us so closely to examine, that seldom does any objeft appear really worthy of the relief which it is the duty of every one to extend towards his neigh- bour. If a poor creature fall down in a fit in the street, how often in the crowd assembled round the sufferer may the harsh observation be heard, — " it *' is only put on!" Such things do now and then happen ; but even admitting it to be the case, would it not be better to submit to a few frauds, than to negleft a single person in real want of care ? Ne- cessary as some degree of caution assuredly is, not too readily to give credit to every tale of distress which occurs; yet the pretending to imagine every accident a mere fabricated deceit, is an affeftation of discriminating prudence, too clear-sighted to submit to imposition, which usually arises from either a co- vetous desire to save the money that must otherwise have been expended in relief, or from real coldness c [ 18 ] of disposition wishing to conceal itself under the ap- pearance of proper care and superior wisdom. This, however, I must confess, is scarcely to be denomi- nated affeftation of covetousness, though it is the affeaation of the covetous; the reputation of which no one is ambitious of obtaining. It is indeed the crime itself; it is the miser endeavouring to render himself less despicable than his own heart tells him he really is. But I have nevertheless, though not very frequently, seen a^ual covetousness affefted by persons whose hearts were really generous, and who, from an unaccountable love of singularity, have afted a penuriousness not in their charafter. I once knew a gentleman who was careful to the most absurd degree of every bit of coal that was put on his fire, who would wear a thread-bare coat, and grumble if one candle more than necessary was brought into the room : yet this man was generous in his family, profuse in many of his expenses, and carried his negligence in some articles to such a pitch, as to be considerably imposed upon by his servants! I knew likewise another person, of immense fortune, who used to pick up every pin she saw on the ground, and would stop in the street to secure the prize she had gained! Were not these instances of^ affefted covetousness? [ 19 ] (Economy, which is in itself a most desirable and useful quality, is often unfortunately brought into disrepute by being so commonly used as the mask of covetousness. (Economy, which is in truth the child of honesty, (since all honest people must so re- gulate their expenses, as not to spend, what, if it in the most trifling degree exceed their income, is not their own) — oeconomy deserves our admiration, and our constant praftice. But when, to conceal the odious vice of covetousness, we hear the narrow- minded stingy miser priding himself in his prudent care, and in denying to his family the comforts and conveniences which he might so well afford; we can- not but lament the misapplication of terms, and grieve that vice should command admiration as well as virtue, from the bold and unabashed manner of its introducing itself under false colours. c 2 Courage, /COURAGE is not very often affefted by women, but in these days, when riding on horseback, and driving open carriages, are so much more in use than formerly, it is sometimes to be met with ; and many a woman has galloped after the hounds on a spirited horse she could scarcely manage, turning pale from fear, yet enjoying the praise she received from her companions for the elegance of her figure, and for her skill in the equestrian art. In driving the open carriage, the same fear has possessed the mind of the female charioteer, but fully has it been compensated by the glory of driving four in hand as well as her coachman! The adulation gained by this kind of courage being for a conduft certainly in some measure masculine, is not worth a woman's stepping out of her own line to obtain ; particularly when she considers, that not sitting naturally upon her, it has probably merely exposed her to real ridicule C 21 1 from those very people whose flattery afforded her so much pleasure. The courage of boldness most certainly belongs not to women, but enough remains for them in which to display the truest and best kind of fortitude — that of patient endurance under dis- tress, either of mind or body. In the trials of sor- row of various sorts, the courageous conduft of many a woman, when founded on the sure basis of reli- gion, has proved the support of whole families : in that of distressed circumstances, the cheerful bear- ing up against adversity of a wife has often not only comforted the husband, but roused a spirit of exer- tion in his heart, which has perhaps extricated them both from their difficulties : in the distress of acute pain, or in the still more trying scenes of languid lasting ill-health, courage is to be exerted with the utmost advantage to the sufferer, and with material comfort to the attendants on sickness. Courage then, though in some situations a most absurd afFeftation for women, is in others a necessary vir- tue, which the more it is exerted, the more it will increase; and though difficult to praftise, will usually on trial be found far more easy than was expefted when the misfortune for which it is requisite was still at a distance. Courage, in the cases I have just mentioned, admits not, it is true, of affeftation : for though perhaps with a trembling heart the first [ 22 ] effort may be made, yet it so soon takes root in a soil willing to receive it, that I verily believe few people have ever endeavoured in vain to be cou- rageous. Affedled Courage is in man so truly despicable, so well known, and the bragging coward so insures tq himself the disgrace he merits, that it is scarcely worth mentioning. And in the same light I must consider the sort of courage (commonly so called) of men, arising from fear of the opinion of a world, not to be regarded in affairs of serious importance — that courage, which I will venture to affirm is in faft . cowardice ; which leads to the resentment of ima- ginary, or were they even real, injuries, which arc not to be revenged by the commission of an honour^ able crime, forbidden by laws both Divine and human ! But this false and affefted courage shall make no part of my observations, any farther than just to say that those men who are most brave, least affeft the prompt resentments to which I allude; and the old General Officer was no coward, of whom it was well known, that when excuses were offered to him by the friend of a young man, who had used very improper language at a public place the night before, he received the apology by saying, " I am very deaf. Sir, and did not hear half the " poor young gentleman said." * But he is very [ 60 ] any affeftation of it to be tolerated ; and it is indeed very seldom attempted. The innocent answers or observations made by children on subjeas which sometimes appear beyond their comprehension, are often so striking as to make the deepest impression on their hearers ; and of this nature I think the fol- lowing instance of genuine innocence, which pro- ceeded from the lips of a little girl not more than SIX years old :_One very windy rainy night, her father was alarmed, as he was stepping into bed, with a sudden crash in the nursery, followed by shrieks and exclamations of, « the child is killed! the child « is killed!" He flew up stairs, but had the hap- piness to find that the child, so far from being killed, was safe in the arms of the terrified maid, who had caught her out of bed, just in time to save her from a part of the roof, which had from the violence of the storm fallen in upon the very spot where she lay. The'next morning at breakfast the father was , talking to his family with the most earnest grati- tude for the wonderful preservation of the night, and endeavouring to explain to his little girl in paf' ticular, how much it was her duty to be for ever thankful to God for the extraordinary coincidence of so many circumstances, which had tended' to save herj and pointing oOt what a mark of constant and •uperintending care it was, that the maid should for- t 61 ] tunately be awake, that she should happen just at the right time to see the ceihng beginning to give way, and moreover that she had had presence of mind given her, in such a fright, sufficient to occa^ sion the snatching her from such imminent danger just at the right moment for her safety. ' Yes, to ^ be sure, papa,' answered the little creature, * God * was very good to me, and indeed I am much * obliged to Him for it; but I do think Jenny helped * a little too!' Here was pure unafFedled gratitude, both to the Almighty, and to his agent in the the work, better expressed by innocence itself, thaa it could have been by the most laboured efforts of affeftation to say something fine : and is it ever pos- sible than any attempts should vie with the innocent nature of such unadorned remarks { Boldness and Impudence. THESE indisputably offensive qualities are, I am sorry to say, so much the fashion of the present age, that thought and aflion being direfted by that des- potic, but most wavering power, both men and [ 62 J women, whose hearts I hope do not quite join with their condufl, affeft a boldness, nay impudence, in their manner, which, although it may pass for mere sprightliness and fashion, is, they may rest assured, odious in the eyes of most persons, who, whilst they smile at the gaiety of the lively young fools, inwardly despise their disagreeable affeftation. A woman putting on masculine manners, and imitating theboldness of man, completely defeats her intention, which is certainly to gain admiration. But nothing unnatural, though it may at first sur* prize, and so command notice, can ever really please; and modesty is so naturally expefted from all women in every station, that the contrary never fails of cre- ating dislike. How very inconsistent then is it, with that strong desire to please which nature has im- planted in the female breast, to affeft the very man« ners which are in faft most disgusting ! But I shall be told it is only being sprightly, and if mere cheerfulness is to be termed boldness, there must be an end to all the gaiety of society, and we may as well return to the stiff, starched behaviour of our great-grandmothers. Formality or stifiness I by no means wish to recommend to the young ladies of the present hour; and though I acknowledge my- self to be now an old woman, and perhaps more stiff than my younger friends would allow to be fashioa* [ 63 ] able, yet I am not so far advanced in years, but that I can remember when I was young ; and I assure ihem there was as much cheerfulness and mirth in those days as in these ; but as boldness was not then in fashion, it would have been thought strangely improper to see a young woman, or even a girl of fourteen, shewing her sprightliness by dancing a step or two, jumping to express her joy as she walked along the street, or skipping like a child as she came out of a shop, or stepped from a carriage. It would likewise have been called indecently mascu- line, if a woman had been seen to spit either out of a window, or whilst she was walking, or even had she been heard to whistle after her dog in the street ! It would equally have been termed bold to call loudly across the way, and then to hold a hallooing conversation of a few minutes, with as much uncon- cern at observation as a man ! Yet such things are ! And whilst girls affeft the same behaviour as their brothers, are encouraged by their parents to use the the same exercises,* play at most of the same plays, and to look upon themselves during their violent romping only in the light of having charming Hvely spirits, I do not at all despair of hearing in time of a club of cricketing ladies ! And as we have already * Whipping tops, trundling hoops, &c. I 64 2 been told of a ladies' hunt, I know not why the same sort of spirit should not improve into women's riding their own horses at a race, and nobly disputing the glory of the prize with jockies.* Seriously speaking, when once a woman throws off the delicacy belonging to her sex, it is shocking to refleft how far it may carry her; and though precise formality be unpleasing, as it is less dangerous than the undaunted boldness to which fashion now gives too much license, were there any necessity for either extreme, I should rather wish to recommend the former than the latter. ^ But there is iq truth no occasion for running Into cither absurdity. In this case, as in every thing else, there is a middle way, easy to be found, and most desirable to be persisted in; since it as certainlv leads to esteem and approbation from every rank in life, as deviation from it does to contempt from the serious, and ridicule from the gay, who have flattered and deceived the giddy girl into fancying her live- liness is agreeable : but sadly isshe mistaken ! And though I do not wish a woman to tremble and be confused every time she enters a room, yet I cannot admire the confident stare, and the free and easy walk, which I see assumed by ladies of Un, to whose * This was wrjtten before the year 1804 realized the supposition. [ 65 J gracefulness of manner what might become a soldier certainly makes no addition. The boldness and impudenee of manner and con- versation adopted by some men in order to pass themselves off as fashionable, is so well known that it needs but little animadversion. There was a time when decorum and attention to women marked the man of good-breeding; the very reverse is now an in- dication of being used to good company. Total negleft of them is now the thing, as it is to pass those that are perfeftly known with no notice but a vacant stare. Instead of offering assistance in a crowded public place, the elegant young man now pushes by the ladies of his acquaintance, with the obliging ob- servation that he supposes they will be detained till very late, and meet with some difficulties in finding their servants, as probably half the carriages must be broken to pieces. This may be fashion, but I am sure it is an offensive and a disagreeable affeftation ! Boldness and impudence of conversation for the mean pleasure of distressing, by calling forth blushes fromthereally modest woman, and occasioning affefted shame from her who is not so, though it may some- times make its way into the higher circles, yet I trust it is oftener confined to the very lowest of mankind; who, though perhaps ignorant of the true meaning of affeftation, yet are certainly guilty of it when they .4 L 66 ] praftise a sort of behaviour, for which they would feel resentment if direfted towards their own wives or daughters; that very resentment being a proof that they are conscious of the objeftionable nature of improper language to women, that under a mask of boldness they in earnest are modest, and that their hearts are in faft far less indecorous than their words, which they have only used and aflfefted, from the nonsensical vulgarity of fooWsh fun. % Mildness, AND Gentleness of Temper, A TILDNESS is so engaging a quality in women, ^^^ that all, without even a degree of it in their natural temper, wish to be supposed mild, even though they should go no farther than common unthinking good-nature; but good-nature is very different from true mildness of disposition. Good-nature means cheerfulness, readiness to oblige, being always willing to join in any scheme of amusement, to laugh at any disappointment, and be merry whatever may happen, taking for its motto the popular saying, (and it is not a bad one,) constantly to make the best of a bad market. This sort of good-nature is so little con- nefted with mildness, that it is frequently to be found in persons of the most passionate spirit, who would really put themselves to some inconvenience in order to procure you a trifling gratification; yet were you to thwart or contradifl: them in the slightest instance, would utter resentment at your probably uninten- F 2 [ 68 ] tional offence with frightful fury. The same temper will sometimes labour to obtain you an eatable you wished for, or a ticket to some pub- lic place, but would take no trouble on hearing you wanted some material service. This uncertainty of disposition shews itself in many strange instances; and the affectation of a temper completely different from the natural one, without any apparent temptation to the fol!y, is certainly common ; as I once saw most strongly evinced by the behaviour of a gentleman who came into a supper party, where he was as gay and cheerful as any person at the table, but after having been there for a considerable time, mentioned with perfeft indifference his having passed by a house in flames, from which the inhabitants were escaping half naked, and of course in the greatest distress; his answer to an enquiry whether he had stopped to assist, was, " No, I was better engaged " than to stay in such a crowd, and there could be no ** doubt of their having sent for engines." This was a reputed good-natured man, and one of remarkably mild manners! Was he in truth of so cold or stupid a disposition as really not to feel for the misfortune be had just witnessed ? Was the mildness and the gentleness of temper which was his allowed cha- rafter, or was the brutal indifference he displayed on this melancholy occasion, merely affeftation ? I have 4k [ 69 ] never been able to decide which, but certainly one of these very opposite tempers must have been un- natural to him. Good-nature is indeed most different from real mildness ; for when people have been so happy as to cultivate its growth in their minds, it takes so firm a hold as to spread its influence over their conduft and manner on the most trivial or most serious occa- sions, and in great measure checks those strong feel- ings of grief or vexation, which in minds of indulged sensibilities it may require considerable exertion to overcome. Mildness of manner is certainly to be acquired, and worth every person's labour, for their own, and for the comfort of their friends ; and where, in the obtaining and fixing it strongly in their hearts, great inclination to violence has been conquered, we may safely venture to pronounce it a virtue; but when arising only from that kind of gentleness of temper which is commonly to be considered as constitutional, I don't know that it has a claim to that name, for it is surely too evidently a bestowed blessing for any one to dare to applaud himself as having overcome an evil inclination. No. Paffion may be conquered ; it is possible to become mild in manner, but natural gentleness of temper is as much a gift indeprtident of our own endeavours, as either beauty or strength^ 2 [ 70 J Both mildness and a gentle temper are continuallj assumed by those who have not the smallest preten- sion to either, and the affeftation is soon detefted. How often does the person, whose countenance glows with anger, assure you, « He is not in a pas- «* sion! were he warm ! but he thanks God he never « is so, he would reply to you," &c. &c.; this per- son is conscious of the propriety of mildness, tries to affeft it, but knows not how. Many ladies are too mild to endure the least re- buke from a friend, and burst into tears at an unkind word; whilst the same women support their part wish spirit in a family quarrel, and scold at the card- table as loudly as any of the party. Many likewise with to display their mildness and gentleness of tcm- per, by pretended smiles when some misfortune befels their dress, or by unconcern at the awkward mistake of a servant; but the sudden change of countenance when the gown wastomproved thenatureof the subse- quent smiles, as the anger bestowed upon the careless servant, when no stranger was supposed within hear- ing, explained the gentleness of temper to be affefted. Roughness of voice, or roughnesss of manner, though very unpleasant in themselves, ought no more to induce an opinion of roughness of temper, than a soft voice and gentle manner should lead us' inconsiderately to suppose the penson from whom 4 -^ [ 71 ] they proceed, to be as amiable in faa as in appear- ance ; for we shall on observation usually discover, that the worst tempers are most apt to affeft a deli- cacy and softness of manner, which imitates mildness, but which is only put on with other ornaments for the sake of company. The really mild take little trouble to speak in that mincing mode, which is usually an indication of the afFeftation in question; and I should always feel more inclined to suspeft those of remark- ably gentle manners of being in private the tyrants of their families, thaffi should those who, leaving them- selves more to nature, speak with warmth or calm- ness, according to the circumstance which occasion them to express their sentiments. Aifefted gentleness, with an insinuating voice, begs your pardon for interfering, but flatly contradifts your assertion, and brings a thousand arguments, to prove you in the wrong; whilst real mildness, even though right, is never disputatious, should the ex- planation given, (m: attempted to pe given, seem to be ill received by the person to whom it is offered. Consciousness of not being mistaken is sufficient triumph to the gentle temper, which, not struggling for conquest, is easily consoled by knowing, that should it even be slowly, truth cannot fail of making its way ; whilst the anxious trouble of proving a faft is in the. estimation of mildness never worth a V I n ] contest with an adversary earnestly upholding a con- tt^ry opinion. Mildness is therefore sometimes in danger of sinking into indolence, and amiable as It IS (I may say necessary) amongst women, may amongst men be carried to excess. The duty and business ot a woman is to retire herself from the public eye to rest satisfied with confining the display of her good sense or accomplishments within the small cir- cle of her own family, her partial friends, or most mtimate acquaintance ; but on no account, either in public or private, to assume the unpleasant charafter of bemg able to inform or instruft every person she converses with : for with whatever apparent mildness a dispute may be carried on, the most care- ' less observer will perceive the afliaation ; and as most debates arise from earnestness of opinion, she may depend on it she will gain no praise for her skill m argument, though veiled by the most polite gentle- ness, beyond a remark (possibly accompanied with a sarcastic smile) that ***• never gives up her point Very different is the case with men ; their more aftive lives leading them into situations where mild- ness might be weakness, and gentleness an indolence bordering on cowardly desertion of sentiments, which It IS thetr province to maintain. As professional and as public charaaers, so much depends on their exer- tions, that it is often the absolute duty of a man [ 73 ] even unasked, to offer advice, and give his decided opinion on subjefls, not only of consequence, but also on others comparatively trifling, which might remain undetermined without the steadiness derived from his judgment ; not giving it however from the pride of obtruding superior judgment, but from the benevolent wish of assisting to fix the wavering temper of others, who perhaps look to him as their guide ; and to oppose the erroneous sentiments which might otherwise prove of lasting injury to the minds of the young and uninstrufted, who are so prone ignorantly to listen with admiration to the wild absurdities of every superficial coxcomb. The example of a man's conduft spreads to an almost unbounded extent \ that of a woman to a very narrow compass, within which however it should be her constant aim to render herself worthy of imitation : for small as her power of doing good may be, if extended to the utmost of her abilities, she is as praise- worthy in leading a few to the way^ of virtue, as the man who has the happiness of serv- ing multitudes of his fellow-creatures — the example of each being in its line equally useful, though for ever to continue totally different. As it is universally allowed to be meritorious in men not only courageously to avow, but strenuously to support, their opinions \ very few think it desirable , [ 74 ] to affeft an appearance of more mildness or more gentleness than is tiatural to them. But let me not therefore be understood to insinuate, that a man of mild or gentle manners must in consequence become indolent in the exertions of his mind ; far from it. I have often known a mild temper and a gentle man- ner form distinguishing parts of charafter in the most worthy, sensible, and (I may safely add) most pleasing men of my acquaintance : for to be mild in reply, or gentle in reproof, so far from lessening the force of opinion, or admonition, on the contrary usually increases the intended effeft, because it insi- nuates itself into the hearer's mind without offence to his pride. Yet admitting all these advantages, so mucb mildness is not altogether so requisite in a man's disposition, as it positively is in that of a a woman ; who, if she ever venture into the oppo- site affeftations which I am now going to mention, may assure herself of the disapprobation and dislike of all who know her. [ 75 ] EagerfiesSy Violence of Temper' and Manner, MILDNESS and gentleness labouring, as they sometimes unfortunately do, under the disrepute of stupidity and indolence, accounts in some measure for that affeftation of eagerness, which is meant to represent the earnestness of a very feeling mind, endeavouring to serve others wherever it is possible; and anxiously defending the cause of virtue with every mark of indignation, which any deviation from reftitude never fails to raise in an ardent temper. This earnestness, in defence of what is right, cer- tainly proceeds from a good motive ; and, when per- feftly natural, claims indulgence for the errors which eagerness is apt to occasion. But as it is possible to turn right into wrong, the vehemence of a good person in a just cause may do it more injury than even total sileAce on the subjeft, and assuredly more than could have arisen from a mild statement of the case. Persons, conscious of being, from their natural dispo- sition,'' seldom ab]e to restrain their eagerness of ex- pression, where they really feel themselves strongly interested, would aft most wisely, as much as in thera [ 76 J Hes, to avoid every opportunity of giving opinion on subjefts likely to call forth heat of temper, and cer- tainly never, but on urgent occasions, to offer unasked advice ; when hov^ever such do occur, where it becomes a point of duty to warn a neighbour of impropriety, I by no means wish to recommend the cold unfeeling caution of not offering the assistance of advice, or venturing on the true friendliness of reproof, where there is any possibility of its proving useful. But I would at the same time, to all persons of an eager temper, urge the prudent method of delivering their sentiments in writing, rather than by word of mouth ; some reflcflion must attend the aft of writing; the hasty expression which might give offence, and which a provoking answer might call forth, will thus be avoided ; whilst the sa.iie good advice will be given, with the advantage of that correftion which will probably be found neces- sary, by whoever looks over what they have written before they send it. If real eagerness, even in the cause of virtue, be so dangerous as to require the utmost care in the management of it, how necessary must it be to avoid every approach to such a disposition; yet how common, and how truly absurd is it to affeft (and it is affe^ed upon the most frivolous occasions) an ear- nesmess which is not felt, in those who are so fear- [ 77 ] f ul of passing for stupid tame charafters, that to display sensibilities and anxieties they have not, they assume what is really in itself a serious fault! Yet how very often does, " 1 wonld not bear to " be so ill treated," " / could not bear such a misfor- « tune," proceed from a pretty mouth, which indeed receives no addition of beauty from having uttered an absolutely unchristian sentiment — / would not, I could not bear! Can any thing be more positively opposite to the command and to the example of Him, who proved that he could and would bear the most acute sufferings both of body and mind ? He who was meekness itself, commanded and set the example; which, though at humble distance, we may imitate, by aiming at a contented spirit, ever ready to endure whatever may be imposed. Let us not then thoughtlessly use expressions unworthy of those who profess themselves his followers ; or affeft a sin, which, when considered, we should all shrink from— that of refusing to bear our burthen, and thereby presuming to arraign the dispensations of Divine Goodness. The / would not, I could not bear, is not only sin- ful, but completely ridiculous, and so entirely out of our own power, that the absurdity of the phrase must upon a moment's refleftion strike the person who has used it. It is in my power to say, 1 w/7/, I can bear ^ [ 78 ] pain or grief, by an exertion of patience bestowed upon me by that Power, which, at the same time that a sorrow is sent, offers a way to escape from it, and then graciously accepts the choice of that way as an effort to perform duty : but of what avail can, I will not bear it, be in the agonies of a fit of the gout? under the unkind treatment of a master, a parent, or a husband ? to whose power you are legally forced to submit; to the master as long as you remain his servant, to the parent for a stated number of years, and to the husband during the whole of life. Or, in that most trying anguish of all others, will, I cannot bear this misery, restore to you your dead child, or friend ? This is so evident, that it needs but little to be said to convince any one of the truth of the old adage, that^ < What cannot be cured, must be * endured.* But I shall perhaps be answered, " One cannot always be thinking of what one says ; and as to taking Christ for one's example, that may be very well, if considered in a religious light, but it is impossible always to be so serious." Indeed it is not. We can, and for our own interest must, con- sider our ways ; since many a word spoken unthink- ingly, or even in jest, has caused to the speaker hours of bitter repentance ; and as to the impossibi- lity of taking Christ as our constant example, the cc cc « c< [ 79 ] following opinion of Bishop Beveridge proves that he did not think it a vain attempt : « I am resolved, by the grace of God, to make " Christ the pattern of my life here, that ^o " Christ may be the portion of my soul hereafter. « I shall endeavour, in all places I come into, in " all companies I converse with, in all the duties I " undertake, in all the miseries I undergo, still to " behave myself as my Saviour would do were he " in my place ; so that wherever I am, or whatso- " ever I am about, I shall still put this question to " myself. Would my Saviour do this or that? I " know I can never hope perfeftly to transcribe his " copy, but I must endeavour to imitate it in the best " manner I can ; that so by doing as he did, in " time I may be where he is to eternity/* — Bishop Beveridge's Private Thoughts, p. 1 6$. Sensible as the excellent Beveridge was of the ira- prafticability of an exaft imitation, yet he thought the difficulty no reason against making the effort ^ and to descend to a far inferior instance of the incli- nation, which we ought to encourage in ourselves, for being in every circumstance led by the very best examples, I beg to know if there be a single person beginning to learn any art, who is not desirous of having the most able instruftors ? In drawing, is there that being who would not rather choose to [ 80 ] copy originals of the first masters, than the daubings of a village signpost painter? not from indulging the vain expeftation of attaining to the strokes of a Raphael, though happy to be guided by his skill. But to return to the aiFeaation of eagerness and violence, designed to mark an energy of spirit, which is, I acknowledge, often a pleasing symptom of a warm heart, but which, if not natural, sits most awkwardly on the copyer. Why should we be tempted to affeft that which, if really in our dispo- sitions ought to be kept under the most cautious restriftions, and in its excesses to be correfted? Shall we affeft a violence of temper, and conse- quently of manner, only to conceal mildness of which we are ashamed? yet in which, were pride ever allowable, we might glory, so far as it resembles Him, who « when he was reviled, reviled not again." (i Peter ii. 23.) Shall we affeft a vehemence ever wrong in itself, even when used for the laudable purpose of shewing our dislike of sin? when though anger will naturally rise in every honest mind, as a sudden impulse to check the boldness of vice, yet the same indignation m^j be expressed with calmness, and probably with more effeft, than can follow the rage of passion. Let me not however be understood indiscrimi- nately to condemn anger, if on just occasions, and [ 81 ] restrained by reason; though I certainly do both the reality and the afFeftation of violence. Shall we dare, in our endeavours to display eager- ness, to break a positive commandment, by taking a Holy Name in vain? or by using oaths and execra- tions even at a time (were that a sufficient excuse) when we feel no anger, and are only calling down the Divine vengeance on ourselves and others, ia order to appear a spirited charafter, that will not submit to imposition of any kind ? Shall we render ourselves despicable in the eyes of all the wise and the worthy, only to gain the appellation of 2,^ne fellow from the foolish and the ignorant? If such be our choice, alas! for the determination. • Patience. » TiTUCH of what has been said on the subjeft of ^^^ Mildness applies to Patience, and they are often to be met with in the same person : But patience is the greater virtue of the two ; not, like mildness, being sometimes an inherent quality of the temper ; on the contrary requiring great exenion, having many more occasions of trial, and of being called into a^ion* Patience is required in every possible situation of life, and at every age. The well-taught infant may exercise it as soon (and they occur pretty early) as it is old enough to feel disappointments : and the older we grow, the more will every hour of our existence teach us the value, as well as necessity, of that which soothes every suffering, and consoles tinder every sorrow. Patience, whether in trifles or things of consequence, puts a stop to the anxious uncertainty which so frequently in irritable tempers destroys the whole enjoyment of expefted but delayed [ 83 ] N. s^tisfaftlon. Patience and a contented spirit carry us through many a misfortune, which at a distance we might have feared would certainly overcome our utmost endeavours; but patient resolution, deter- mination to be satisfied, and, in short, whatever state we are in therewith to be content, is so sure a way of passing happily through this world, that it is mor- tifying to find,how often people of the greatest merit, from their uncomplaining conduft, are stigmatized as cold-hearted charafters, with neither feeling nor un- derstanding enough to be sensible of what enrages the angry declairaer; who, proud of his passionate temper, thinks it a proof of refined sensibilities to be too easily irritated to endure what those of a different disposition have submitted to with calmness. Patience shews itself not only in sickness, but in health ; for the patient healthy person enjoying his own comfort Is ready to assist a sufferer to obtain relief, and kindly to bear wiih the fretting, so com- monly the companion of illness, in those who do not possess the happy talent of endurance: — not only in poverty, but in riches ; for the patient rich person shews no undue pride in that circumstance, which is nevertheless a satlsfaftion : — not only in sorrow, but in happiness ; for the patient spirit is never hurried into that excess of delight which occasions^ wild demonstrations of pleasure, more like the expres- G 2 I Si I sions of drunkenness or insanity, than the composed enjoyment of a reasonable being: — not only in ill lisage, but in good usage; for a patient temper pre- sumes not upon kindness, so as to become a burthen upon the person who has contributed to comforts which cannot be received with too much gratitude, but are not to be made a plea for still farther indulgence. Of the powers of patience under affliftion no ex- planation is required ; but under blessings where it is full as necessary a virtue, it is perhaps more dif- ficult to exercise it with the force which it is our duty to exert, which of ourselves we cannot fully attain to, but which with Divine assistance we need not despair of. Both sorrow and joy are such evident trials of the person to whom they are sent, that although most assuredly no one can be absurd enough to pretend that there is positive pleasure in suffering, yet I hope I shall not be deemed too enthusiastic, if I say that each is to be so far received as a blessing, that the "heaviest affliftion being once acknowledged to be imposed as a trial of virtue, we must, considering it as an opportunity of improvement to our minds, as far as is possible, be thankful for it, even under the pressure of grief, of disappointment, or in the tor- tures of bodily pain. If in these sensations we are enabled to say not only with our lips, but from our [ 85 ] hearts, God's will be done ! thus may, and will, our sorrow be truly turned into joy ! Patience is however so universally admitted as a virtue, and the persons who endure as they ought on great or on small occasions are so sure of commen- dation, that it becomes very much an objeft of affec- tation with all sorts of people. " I never put my- « self in a hurry about any thing,'* says the calm and composed lady, who has been looking at her watch every moment during the last hour, and wondering what mistake can have detained the person she ex^ pefted, and whom she had appointed exaftly three quarters and a half after such a precise hour ! " I *' shall not be surprised if my carriage should not come « at all ; it is well I am not impatient !" *' I always ** lose at cards; good Lord, this never happens but *« to me, but I never mind such things !'* " It is « five minutes after the time, so I am sure my dress will not come to-night ; but as there is no use in being impatient, I never am so!" These and a thousand other equally foolish exclamations are con- tinually to be heard, designed by the speakers as marks of patience, but in truth proving the exaftly ppposite temper. In trifles such as these the affeftation of patience is ridiculous, but on more serious subjefts it is a fault cc cc [ S6 ] of the deepest dye, and cannot be too seriously guarded against. To affe///" Does it not signify ? whether in this short space allotted for our pilgrimage, the time be filled with employments of reading, or of thought, tending to improve the heart, and make us ready for the alteration which in our present state is, we know, iooaer or later to take place; or whether our it's remaining hours are wasted in attending to real £ 95 ] . absurdities, from which no benefit can be gathered % and which, though tricked out by all the allurements of want id of ridicule, and though adorned by every art of the most ingenious writer, can only serve to deceive, and to fill the mind with restless doubts, which, for want of allowing leisure really to inves- tigate the truth or falsehood of their foundation, are foolishly and inconsiderately taken for granted ; and many become infidels merely because they have laughed, and were entertained ! Is this worth while? . Your mind once poisoned will not easily regain its tone. Your dying hour will not enjoy the com- fortable expeftations, which will cheer that of the formal fool, who ventured to despise your genteel stile of reading : and indeed in whatever light we consider the question, still he must be happier in his folly than you in your wisdom^ whilst even you must feel the force of Dryden's sentiment in his Don Sebastian — " Now if there be hereafter, " He*s bless'd, if not, well cheated, and dies pleas'd." But SO far from the afFeftation of Impiety afford- ing any pleasure to the aftor, or of his being able to cheat himself into a settled belief of unbelieving doftrines j the utmost he ever obtains is a mind harassed by doubt, and an indescribable dread of t 96 ] that period which, as he cannot possibly avert, or even retard, it would be most for his interest to reconcile himself with its unavoidable arrival. The impious infidel may vainly talk of despising the death which according to his notions is only to be followed by an eternal sleep, yet all the time he *' believes and trembles,'^ (James ii. 19;) but puts oflf conviaion to some more " convenient season," (Afts xxiv. 25.) which, alas ! seldom arrives. That believing and trembling are often mixed with apparent contempt for duty, I know to be a faft, from the very respe^able authority of an elderiy person who was for years a constant attendant on SIX o'clock morning prayers j and who has assured me, that at that vulgar hour it was by no means uncommon to meet fashionable young men, whose usual conversation was of the lightest sort, and who in gay company would have scoffed at going to church, where they would have thought it a dis-. grace to be seen at a later hour ! How unreason- able is such condu^ ; and such affeftation of impiety which they did not feel, but for which they will receive, and surely will deserve, the weight of pu- nishment denounced against this very crime of deny- ing their Redeemer, where He says, " For whosoever " shall be ashamed of me, and of my words, of him " shall the Son of Man be ashamed when he shall [ 97 ] •* come in his own glory, and in his Father's, and ** of the Holy Angels." (Luke ix. 26.) The quantity of light and irreligious reading, pub- lished as novels and books of amusement, has done more real mischief than more serious attacks on religion, which require an attention that the young and the giddy have not to bestow ; but a story or a poem is looked over with as little trouble as a news- paper, and the satirical observation is remembered, when a grave dissertation would have been forgotten. But even though " the children of this world are in *^ their generation wiser than the children of light," (Luke xvi. 8.) so that the enemies of virtue have placed their batteries with a skill which for a time may ensure success, yet will they find them in the end turned with tenfold destruftion against themselves. Let us however not be content with shunning the more glaring aflfeftations of impiety ; let us be uniformly cautious in every thing tending to the slightest disregard of religion or its customs. As such I must mention the common witticisms so often produftive of laughter from scriptural phrases, and introduftion of names which call for respeft instead of foolish jokes : and let us ever be constantly on our guard not to encourage what in faft is impious, by joining in thoughtless admiration, only because wc hear others admire ! K e: 9d j Serious, Quiet Disposition, I r, AND Fondness for Home. i\ N excess of this sort of temper is frequently affeaed by persons who in some measure have It naturally, but finding how much they are liked and esteemed for a quiet fondness for home, over- aft the amiable disposition, till the affeftation with which they assure you how irksome it is to them to mix in the common and reasonable amusements of the world, leads to a suspicion of some end to be answered in the superabundant love for domestic society, to which, though certainly more pleasing than any other, it is yet far from desirable for any person entirely to give themselves up; and such vehement assurance as may often be heard from ladies, of their wishing for nothing but their own fire-side, the innocent smiles of their infants, and the conversation of their husband, by no means tends to convince the hearer that this serious lady does not enjoy the invitation, which she fails not to accept, of joining some ball in the neighbourhood ; or that she does not rejoice when the time arrives for her removal to London, where, mixing in all the gaieties of the metropolis, she lays aside great part of her attachment to home till her return into the country. But though dissipation and unrestrained delight in frivolous diversion is to be guarded against, there is no necessity for falling from one extreme to another, by sinking into or afFefting the life of a recluse. A serious, which commonly implies a religious turn of mind, will lead every person to a fondness for a degree of retirement ; which, aiFording leisure and opportunity for improvement of every kind, h of so engaging a nature, that any one truly fond of Retired life, I firmly believe, always quits it with reluftance for the more busy scenes and attendant bustle of the world. But it is not every one who has retirement in his power, nor is it perhaps con- sistent with the duty of many to yield to its fascina- nations. Amongst women many are obliged to enter into gaieties, which for themselves they may possibly no longer relish, but are bound to attend, in order to watch over the conduft of daughters, whose youth and inexperience require the anxious attention which none but a parent's^ eye can ever fully extend to them. Supposing her really to dislike mixing in the H 2 f!^ i 100 J world, a mother ought notwithstanding to exert herself in overcoming her aversion, so far as to per- form her duty: but if it be mere affefted seriousness in her who thus deserts her post, only to obtain the appellation of a sensible woman, it is then highly blameable. Still less is a life of complete retirement compatible with the manifold duties of men. Profession calls them to such various occupations, that the profes- sional man seldom finds leisure to sink into retire- ment, till age has rendered him unfit for public life ; and then how often does the void which perfeft quiet presents to one accustomed to the aftivity of conti- nual business, prevent his enjoyment of what in the years of youth he looked upon as the summum bonum of his utmost wishes. But though we pity the dis- appointment of this charafter in his retirement, must we not highly condemn the independent, literary country gentleman in his? when with no profession at all to disturb a fondness for his books and his studies, he indulges an improper indolence, and entirely devotes himself to employments, which, al- though improving and agreeable to himself, yet occasion him in some measure to bury the talent he ought to cultivate; by inducing a negleft of all the useful duties incumbent on a friendly neighbour, an aftive justice of the peace, an able adviser and assist- [ 101 ] ant of the surrounding poor, both in pecuniary dis- tresses, and in those arising from the ignorance belonging to their station, which the conversation of the great man of the parish may so easily convert into knowledge sufficient not only to reconcile the cottager to it, but to make him thoroughly happy and comfortable in his humble lot. These duties of the rich yet private man are so great, that they admit of no excuse whatever; and he must tear himself from his quiet love for retirement, which, however engaging, is attended with infinite and most serious danger. Alone, we are apt to fancy ourselves the wisest of created beings; with no one to con- tradift the opinion which we form in private, we cannot fail of being charmed with the sagacious discovery we have just made, but which more inter- course with others would possibly prove to be common, or sometimes perhaps even erroneous ! Commerce with the world is necessary for us to acknowledge our mistakes, and force us to confess the superior knowledge of those we should daily meet with. Vanity, strange as it may seem, is fostered by retirement, and natural shyness is increased by se- clusion, till it is painful, as well as difficult, to quit the solitude to which we by degrees grow more attached than to all the pleasures the world had to bestow when we mixed with it. [ 102 I I do not however suspeft many of my readers of too great a fondness for retirement ; for though I am conscious of its dangers, and acknowledge fts p^asures. with the advantageous opportunities it oliers for improvement, yet it is certainly neither a common nor a tempting failing to the very young • I only suspea them of affeaing without feeling it' and of fancying it very pretty to shew how they' despise what others of their own age enjoy. ■ The daughier of very retired domestic parents is frequentl v m danger of failing into this error, and from imft*. tmg the love for quiet she observes in her mother she may not improbably increase its affeaation into a confirmed shyness and awkwardness of manner in herself which is not only unpleasing in appearance, bat mdeed truly painful to the person labouring under ,t; since nothing is more distressing and ha! rassmg than a sensation of shyness carried to an excess: and if ever the extreme shyness I allude to should, by great usage of the manners of the world be m some measure overcome, the effort it has cost « not unusually followed by a boldness, which makes every body determine that the remedy is worse than the disease. To prefer home is so natural to most middle- aged people, that there seems little temptation to aifea more love for it than is felt. To be satisfied C 103 ] with remaining there against inclination, when cir- cumstance or duty makes it necessary, is amiable ; and I have frequently given young people great credit for quietly relinquishing some favourite pro- jeft, because they have seen it would be agreeable to a friend that they should do so. But small is my faith in the assurances of a young lady, that she never had the slightest v^rish to attend the dance which she is prevented going to by the mere peevish whim of some person to whom she owes submis- - sion. Let her give up her pleasure with good- humour, but not vainly endeavour to increase its value by the false assertion that she is better pleased with giving her brothers and sisters their bread and milk for supper, than she could have been by dancing at the ball, and joining in amusements suited to her age. To avoid then the shyness or the subsequent boldness, which seem to attend on afFefted Serious- ness, a middle way (as it is indeed in every part of life) will prove the safest and best road. Let the serious enjoy their seriousness, and the gay their gaiety, with due moderation ; but if they design to be considered as either pleasing or amiable, let them be careful to afFeft neither the one nor the other. Levity, AND Wild Love of Amusement. TO be always sprightly and agreeable, and ready to enter into every diversion, however fooh'sh, which shall chance to be proposed, is so much the fashion of the day, that in affefting this constant merriment, young people aft a levity and a wildness in their amusements, which really lowers the spirits of all those who behold their folly, whilst it by no means adds to their own pleasure. It has been said with great truth, that « W6o " iaughs at every thing, really enjoys nothing;;' and the observation is extremely applicable to the case in question. The extreme mirth and the levity affefted by so many young and apparently gay people, is often not at all felt by the light-hearted rattling fools, who, with minds possibly ill at ease, make them- selves the Merry- Andrews of the company, in order to hear their wit applauded, and to be called pleasant companions! But how sad in general is such mirth i how low is such wit ! how little worth the search of the [ 105 J reasonable being, whose understanding was given for a nobler purpose than to be wasted on making a false witticism, or a poor pun, drawn perhaps " From this man's error, from another's fault ; ** From topics which good-nature would forget, " And prudence mention with the last regret I'* Prior* s Solomon^ book ii. And indeed half the merriment of a very lively party is usually derived from the sources of ridicule, which, though it may amuse for a moment, oftener ends by leaving the heart sad. Nothing is so easy as to make a joke. Every person that exists has a some- thing peculiar in thpir manner, which when observed and repeated with the exaggeration always used in satirical imitation, appears highly ridiculous, and never fails to entertain the company. But from such entertainment what sorrow is likely to arise ! The gay recital of some ludricrous circumstance has frequently destroyed a friendship of years ; and there is no safety for the person who tells it, in there being no one present who is much connefted, or in habits of intimacy, with the hero of the tale. For nothing remains secret; the friend you have ventured to laugh at, will not fail in course of time to hear of it ; and as nobody can endure ridicule when levelled at themselves, a calumnious falsehood has often [ 106 ] been known not to give more offence than a comi- cal story. Indeed I know nothing which I more dread in young people than a turn for satire, a power of mi- mickry, or of teUing what is called a good story Good-nature seldom accompanies these insidious ta- lents j and a great wit certainly very seldom '' does " unto others as he would wish they should do unto « him/' But to be lively, and madly fond of amuse- ment, is so fashionable, and so indicative of youth and spirits, that we see it affefted by people with the absurd vi^w of concealing that age, which, were it displayed in a style suited to itself, would most assuredly command respeft. We hear much of venerable old age, but see it not so often as is de- sirable; and it is truly shocking to behold, what is but too common, a woman between sixty and seventy dressed in the same fashions as her grand-daughter, and with the same appearance of eagerness attend- ing the same diversions. Equally ridiculous is the old man, afting the gay agreeable sprightliness of youth, and making fine speeches to the girls who despise him. The levity of these sort of charaflers is most des- picable; for though one may, whilst one likewise wishes it restrained within due bounds, sometimes [ 107 ] excuse a wild love of amusement in the extremely young, to whom every thing being new, every thing is charming; yet the affeftation of it in old age creates nothing but disgust. Love of amusement is natural, and in some degree really right ; but the affectation of more pleasure than is enjoyed, and of being too lively to submit to common rules of behaviour, is not unfrequent amongst young people, who proudly declare, and then look round the room for applause as if some- what had been said worthy of admiration, " I have ** such mad spirits, that they run away with me, and I " never pretend to answer for what I shall say or do ** next.'* To affeft such levity is to afe6l a very seri- ous fault ; and the silly girl who assures you she never troubles herself to think of any thing but the next ball she is to dance at, would at the same time be sorry were she so thoroughly believed, as to be really sup- posed the unfeeling frivolous charafter she has thought it pretty to assume, partly to be contradifted, and partly to appear more lively than she feels to be her natural disposition ; but which, as she hears life and spirit admired, she unhappily thinks so com- mendable, that, mistaking levity for cheerfulness, she exhibits what never did, nor ever will please any one person, save the foolish afkess of a disagree- able part! Temperance. Tl EAL Temperance, though it be usually applied •^^ to moderation in the article of diet, includes many virtues of the highest order. To restrain all our passions within the due bounds of temperance, to be temperate in our wishes for grandeur or for riches, to be temperate in argument, in love of plea- sure, and in the management of our families and of ourselves ; these are marks of virtue which shew themselves so clearly in every part of conduft, that it is next to impossible to affe^l that true temperance which really consists in negative qualities. It is therefore not often attempted, except with regard to moderation in eating. But temperance in food is so conducive to health, and so absolutely a duty, if con- Sidered in the serious light of being satisfied with but a little, should that be our lot, and of not wasting the good things of this world, if bestowed on us with more plenty than on many of our fellow, creatures ; that it is grievous to find what, when true, is a virtue, so often sunk into despicable afFeftation. Temperance is so natural a part of the feminine character, that wishing for a credit they are conscious E 109 ] of not deserving, it is an affeftation often assumed, and indeed nearly confined to women, who fancy it marks them as beings of too delicate and too refined a nature to care about the trifle of food ! And I once saw a young lady a good deal ashamed of her- self, when after being aiked what she chose to be helped to, and having returned for answer the usual phrase, which she looked on as a proof of elegance, *' I really don't care; it is quite indiflTerent to me ** what 1 eat !" — the gentleman who was carving replied, with the greatest calmness, * When you have * discovered your own inclinations, you will be so * good to let me know ; till then I will eat my own * dinner/ But mere indifference as to food is not sufficient to charafterize this sort of affeftation ; there must be absolute dislike of every thing commonly reckoned good : and if a delicacy be produced, of whatever kind, a lady of this sort is immediately to inform the company that she never eats of it — indeed that she never could prevail on herself even to taste it. She is to refuse wine of every kind; or if she be over per- suaded to swallow the odious draught, it is to declare she thinks any thing from the apothecary's shop more palatable. The quantity she eats is to be so very small, that it is impossible for any body to exist on the trifle she suffers herself to be helped to ; for ! Pi I t no I she makes a point of displaying her moderation, by- saying, whatever is offered to her, even before she sees it, « only half, if you please." But it frequently happens that this very moderate lady, who lives only on vegetables when in company, eats as much, and as heartily, as other people, when she is either alone, or with her own family. I have, however, found a method of cure for this aversion to all good things, and for the ■very depra- ved stomach which is unable to bear what would be a sufficiency of nourishment for an infant. The very best, I might say infallible, remedy for this dis- ease is, not to take the least notice of it; it then dies a natural death, and the very delicate lady, who findii that her delicacy attrdfts no attention, recovers her appetite, and eats and drinks like the rest of the world. This is a disorder, however, which seldom attacks any but the very young upon first coming ouU and even with them is certainly more amongst women in a moderate line of life, than in the higher circles ; where it is now assuredly not a very fashionable affeftation to be temperate in any thing, but where intemperance, even gluttony, (which will be the point next to be considered) are, much more than aoderation. a proof of being accustomed to the manners of what is called good company. { I" 1 Intemperance— Gluttony. INTEMPERANCE in language and in manner has been treated of already under the article of Violence, &c. ; what is now to be mentioned is merely, as the opposite to the temperance with re- speft to diet, which has just been described. And disgusting as it assuredly is, there is not a more common affeftation than that of men's being aftually proud of the quantity of wine they can bear, and telling of the drunken parties they have joined in. Many a man has gone on from one quantity ta another, boasting all the time of never being affefted by it, till he has at length become an habitual drunk-* ard, ruined his health, his morals, and beginning in affeftation has ended in every kind of wickedness j for the drunkard in his hours of intemperance is, or may be, guilty of every species of debauchery, and. find himself plunged into the depths of sin, without even a suiEcient recolleftion of what passed during the temporary insanity, to know what led to the cir- cumstances he may for ever deplore. And it is by no means an exaggeration to say, that he may probably [ 1I£ 3 awaken to loss of fortune, owing to the gaming which, though it happened inthe hours of delirium, must, by what is called the laws of honour, be stood to, after the melancholy return to understand- ing, which brings sorrow and repentance of folly that cannot be recalled ; to loss of health, entailed as a puuishment on the vicious errors he may have committed ; and to loss of friends, owing to. the unguarded sentiments made known whilst reason was laid asleep ! ** Who hath woe? who hath sor- ** row ? who hath contentions ? who hath babbling ? *' who hath wounds without a cause ? who hath •' redness of eyes ? They that tarry long at the " wine." (Prov. xxiii. 29, 30.) When these are the acknowledged consequences of drunkenness, how astonishing is it falsely to afFeft and boast of an a£lual sin! Yet numberless are the instances of men's telling of the feats of their youth, and of the excesses they have joined in, with scarcely a shadow of truth in the relation ! But though it is old advice, it is most excellent, and well worth every body's attention — *« Never to " repeat the dangers or follies of your youth ; for it •* should be no pleasure to you to remember your " ill aftions, nor can it be agreeable to others to « listen to what has happened to you/* (Epiftetus. —Lady M. W. Montague.) C lis ] The quantity of drink which a man can bear, or the number of foolish parties he has been engaged in, are however but one kind of afFefted intempe- rance ; as not only drunkenness, but the nasty vice of Gluttony, is very much affefted by many people, who talk with rapture of the venison or the turtle feast, who describe the delicacies they have partaken of, or soon expeft to share in. These are the affec- tations of a person ambitious of the noble title of a bon vivant^ priding himself rather more on knowing where to find the best bits, than on the quantity he is able to consume ; the credit of being able to eat a great deal (though I have known that too affefted) not being in such repute as that of drinking to ex- cess, and understanding wine ! But to have know- ledge in the noble art of cookery, to be able to give direftions how every dish should be prepared, or what improvements may be made by adding some kind of sauce^ for which the person, aiming at connoisseur" ship in eating, possesses the sole recipe ; this sort of behaviour is very common : And although intempe- rate fondness for eating be a most disgusting failing, yet I doubt wlietlicr one be not still more offended by seeing it so often affe£led, merely for the plea- sure of naming the fine company in which the rarities Were eaten 5 or else for the poor delight of being I [ 114 ] reckoned one who knows how to relish good things with true taste. Could there be a stronger proof of the afFeflation of intemperance, (for the pleasure of eating had far less share in the folly than that for which it was cer- tainly done — the being talked ofy) than the well- known story, some years ago, of the dinner ordered by a set of fashionable epicures, where the direftions given were that every dish should be composed, not only of the best^ but of the most costly materials that could be procured; and the extravagant desire might perhaps have been gratified, but for an unexpefted accident, for which the master of the house, where this party met, made his excuse with the utmost humility, by assuring them, " It was not possible '* to get a more expensive turbot than that he was '* compelled to oflfer them ;. for very unfortunately ** they were that day in plenty!" Is not such scandalous waste of money lament- ably sinful ? And ought not every one of the gen- tlemen who partook of the feast, which cost a sum 1 am afraid to mention, to have repented during the whole of his remaining life for the wild extravagance of that deplorable day ? Let us hope all did. I wish every person to eat heartily, and to enjoy his meal with appetite ; but not to talk and descant over the merits of every thing set before him, as if [ 115 ] eating were the sole business of life. Such conver- sation, if carried to excess, as it frequently is, surely very much unfits the mind for the composed thanks which ought to be returned to the Giver of all good things, who certainly bestowed them on his crea- tures, not for the purposes of gluttony, but merely for those of wholesome refreshment. This mode of conversation, very much afFefted by numbers of all descriptions, but chiefly by elderly single men, is not quite so common with women ; yet sorry I am to observe, that since eating in the morning at the fashionable shops has come so much into vogue, some ladies talk with as much delight of their exquisite bason of soup, their delicious jellies, and exhibit as much apparent knowledge of the various merits or demerits of cold pies, as any man of their acquaintance, who is most a proficient in the science of Gluttony ! :ac" I a (.• Truths AMD Plain Speaking. TTlyTITHOUT a charafter for Truth, no person ^ ^ whatever can at all make his way in the world ; for unless it be possible to depend on the honesty of a man's dealings, no one will venture to transaft any business with him. No servant would be hired with the reputation of a liar ; no tradesman would be employed, who was known never to scru- ple any falsehood that might prove serviceable to himself; and no gentleman can long be admitted into respeftable company, if a turn to deceit be dis- coverable in his general conversation. Indeed the highest possible insult is an imputation of falsehood ^-<)ne that, unless the^ supposed liar can completely exculpate himself, must entail infamy for ever on his charafter. ; and one that, according to the laws of false honour, is deemed expiable only by the com- mission of a CTime of a still deeper dye than the original deceit. [ 117 3 Truth IS de servedly in such estimation, both from its intrinsic worth, and from its comfortable conve- nience in every worldly transaftion, that people of all descriptions are ambitious of being considered as " true and just in all their dealings ;** and even the falsest people labour to appear honest, by repeated asseverations of their having no view to deceive, and of being too open themselves to be able to en- trap others, were it, as thank God it is not, in their nature to be so guilty. But these affefted assu- rances seldom deceive those who, by the assistance of age and consequent experience, have more power of discrimination than can fall to the lot of the very young just entering into the world, and who, inno- cent and undesigning themselves, therefore feel no suspicions ; yet they cannot stand too much on their guard against the person who is always trying to convince others, that whatever might be the appear- ance, there was no intention of injuring any one in what was said : it may be there was no positive inten- tion, but there assuredly was folly, and perhaps a mix- ture of ill-nature, in repeating a trivial circumstance, of no consequence except to amuse an idle mocaent. How different is the proceeding of the really honest person, who, never uttering a falsehood, ib unsuspecU ing of suspicion^ and therefore tells his story, how- ever strange, without endeavouring to vindicate the n h [ 118 ] truth of ft; whilst the aiFefted and laboured proofs of the certainty of a feft, so commonly in use with the noted retailers of news, must awaken doubts as to their veracity, and ought to make their company avoided by all people, since there cannot be a better rule of conduft, for both the old and the young, than the following :— « Rehearse not unto another that " which is told unto thee, and thou shalt fare never « the worse. Whether it be to a friend or a foe, " talk not of other men's lives, and if thou canst « without offence, reveal them not." (Ecclus. xix. 7, 8 ) In repeating a story it is so difficult to be correft in every circumstance, that even without intending to misrepresent, it is easy to vary in some trifle, which, by the time it has gone through a few more alterations, and received the exaggerations which usually attend on most word-of-mouth histories^ will have so little of the original remaining, that the silly tale is soon changed into a gross or perhaps scandal- ous falsehood, injurious to some persons, and dis- pleasing to others. But the necessity or the beauty of strift Truth is not much our present business as the affeftation of it, which is assuredly most frequently found in the mouths of those, whose hearts possess least, and whose conduft evinces perhaps no respea for this [ 119 ] inestimable virtue. The mere affeftatlon of truth, and of plain speaking, shews itself by a blunt man- ner of giving unasked, yet possibly good, advice ; and in a rough mode of pointing out failings, which almost always gives offence, and has often caused a lasting breach between the best friends. Advice is to be given, faults are to be reproved, and there is no valuable friendship in the person whose want of courage makes him scruple to undertake the painful but truly kind office ; but the manner of doing it must be attended to; cautiously and tenderly must you endeavour to set before the eyes of your friend the glaring faults, which, whilst they offend you, he perhaps scarcely notices in himself, or from being so accustomed to the habit, does not think deserving of the slightest blame: neither will he be inclined to bear a rough exhibition of errors, which might how- ever have been amended, if more mildness had been mixed with the reproof. Plain speaking is a most commendable quality in all ranks of people, and in all our transaftions we must wish to be connefted with those whose truth and plainness leave us no doubts as to confiding in their honesty, and trusting our nearest interests to their discretion. But though we respeft those who never varnish what they say with the false adulation of unmerited [ J20 ] praise, and who are too true to flatter or deceive ; yet when this truth becomes, as it easily may, " right too rigid, hardened into wrong ;'* when from being invariably candid in delivering opinion, it grows into that affe^ation of plain speaking, which consists in a harsh manner of telling home truths, and making ill-bred observat'ons ; then does rough plain-deah'ng render itself as offensive, as plain and real truth is amiable. Truth, in repeating conversation correaiy,and scru- pulously abstaining. from inventing or circulating enter- tajning nonsense, is not however the whole of what I wish to present to your view as necessary to be prac- tised ; there must likewise be a strift integrity in all your thoughts as well as aftions, if you aim at the desirable charafter of being positively to be depended on. You must be too honest ever to bestow undue commendation, even though you cover it in your mind with the trivial excuse of, " I could not be " downright rude, it was only common civility.^' How much better is it to be rude than false ! You, must determine without fear to deliver your unadorned sentiments on every occasion where it can be ai all useful to have them known ; but where they are not enquired into, or cannot prove service, able, though I never wish you in any measure to disguise, never obtrude them on your acquaintance. [ 121 j or even on your friends ; keep your own opinions confined w?tlim yourself, till proper opportunity calls them into notice, fpr your own benefit, or that of other people. Blwitness, THE opposite to Truth. naturally seems to be Falsehood ; but as our present aim is only to point out where affeftation may be discovered, and as I firmly believe no person ever wished to be considered in the light of a liar, no one has ever attempted to gain the despicable charafter : for though some we unhappily know are intentionally, and too many are, for want of consideration, guilty of the sin of false- hood, yet we may be very sure that none are so completely lost to their own interest and to all sense of honour, as to affeft what is universally abhorred. The only opposite to the virtue of truth, which I can consider as liable to produce affeftation, is when that of undisguised candour sinks into Bluntness, which has been, I think, proved in the foregoing article to be not at all uncommon. I 122 ] To speak his mind bluntly on all occasions, is a frequent affeftation belonging to a man who wishes to pass for being singularly wise and strift in his opinions ; and I must certainly admit that truths may sometimes in this way be pointed out with the good eflfeft of correfting error, but never with that of conciliating the regard or affeaion of the persons, who, with some feeling cf gratitude for advantage derived from sensible advice, are yet indignant at being harshly blamed. And although Johnson's well-known observation on the " Merriment of Par- "sons" (Boswell's Life of Johnson, vol. iii. page328) was a just rebuke to n:en, who, foolishly meaning to make themselves agreeable, had very much forgotten their charaaers; yet the brutal severity of his man- ner was not excused by the truth of his remark. Men most certainly sometimes aifea this over- bearing manner ; women very seldom do. It can- not, however, be denied that there are some few who pride themselves on always speaking their mind, or, according to the vulgar phrase, giving every one bis sivn; and though I have not very often been dis- gusted in my own sex with the blunt ill-natured manner, which, without any pretension to it, is too frequently mistaken for wit; yet in the days of my youth I knew an old lady, who valued herself ex- tremely for her con.^tant censure of the dress and [ 123 ] manners of the young people who visited her, whom she never addressed by any appellation but that of * child !* and always joined to all her rid'cule of the then reigning fashion a laboured encomium on the superior elegance and good sense of the customs which were prevalent in her days. I can likewise very well remember, that we, who did not think ourselves the silly children she called us, only laughed at her surly disapproval of what we were indifferent whether she did or did not admire. Such affeaation of Bluntness is therefore completely lost on those before whom it is displayed, and instead of produ- cing amendment, never fails of securing the dislike of the gay giddy young people, on whom the cutting stroke of ill-timed reproof is imprudently infliaed. I I I ;i AMIABLE QUALIFICATIONS, AND DISAGREEABLE HABITS. I AMIABLE QUALIFICATIONS, AKB DISAGREEABLE HABITS. r PI III Accomplishments and Taste in various Arts. IT was said not long ago by a very sensible man, in the indignation of his heart against a mother who had injured the health of a very young girl, by confining her too strlftly to employments very ill suited to her age, (and the observation was not at all spoiled by its being delivered in a broad Scotch dialeft,) ^' They educate and they educate the young ladies, till they educate away their health ; and they accomplish and accomplish, till they ac- "complish loss of common understanding." And true it is, that what has very wisely been termed by Mrs. H. More, the ' phrenzy of accomplishment,' (vol. i. p. 62, on the Education of Women,) has proved destruftive to many more essential acquire-^ ments for women than those of dancing, drawing, singing, and the long et cetera of what, considered only as ornamental additions, may in the higher having leisure for the acquirement of elegant arts think themselves not only blameless, but highly commendable, for devoti;ig so large a portion of their time to accomplishment, that little or none remains for the more material improvement of the heart, by constant attention to and study of that one Book, which alone contains all that is truly needful. But what time, let me ask, is there for much read- ing of that or any other serious book? when every hour of the young Iady*s day is so completely filled with masters, almost beyond computation. To have the power of amusing the family circle with music, or to fill up solitary hours with the pencil was formerly deemed sufficient. But now we hear of separate masters for the several branches of the same art ; four or five, for the varieties of dancing and walking gracefully ; the ! s CLEANLINESS in our persons and in our houses is so universally liked and wished for, that it is astonishing how often it happens that we discover it to be only appearance, and that the elegant apartment decorated with every ornament of taste for the re- ception of company is on a day when none is expefted covered with dust, and less desirable to live in than many a cottage, where there is no room reserved for shew. This shewy delicacy is certainly mere affec- tation, and almost as disagreeable as the troublesome cleanlinesss of our great grandmothers, who v/cre in constant misery lest an unclean shoe should acci- dentally defile their parlour carpet, or lest the bright- ness of their table should be tarnished by an unfor- tunate drop of tea! This fastidious neatness, this having things too clean and too good to be used, is not. however much the failing of the present day, when total want of care is far more the fashion; and when it is more a.proof of elegance to call a dirty dog [ 147 3 upon a splendid sofa, and to be diverted at the marks made by its wet paws, than to objeft to an uncleanli- ness which gives the poor animal no real pleasure, and which destroys an expensive piece of furniture* Scrupulous precision is as unnecessary as it is tire* some, but true delicacy of taste improves cleanliness into elegance, and shews itself in a variety of trifles, which nevertheless add to our innocent gratifications in almost every possible circumstance. How often docs a table set out with neatness create an appetite, which possibly might have sickened at the sight of the very same food, if awkvirardly prepared or pre- sented. A dress, put on with pcrfeft cleanliness, gives elegance to the plainest materials, whose sim- plicity is frequently more becoming than the gaudy load of dirty finery which we too often find exhibited by mistaken people, who fancy themselves magni- ficent. Though Cleanliness is constantly to be praftised, the affeftation of it is nearly as forbidding as un- disguised neatness is engaging, since it regularly awakens suspicions that all is not right; and I must be allowed to affirm, that it is certainly only affefted, when (what is by no means uncommon) the nice white muslin dress conceals an under garment by no means resembling the upper one in purity! L 2 I r M8 1 i> That Cleanliness does not deserve to be ranked as a virtue is a faft ; but as the striftest attention to it is essentially necessary to the preservation of our health, the ncgleft of it may be safely termed a seri- ous failing; and as there is no beauty however great, which is not improved by it, and none which is not rendered disgusting by the want of it, it may cer- tainly be admitted to the respefl due to an agree- able, if not a positively amiable quality, which it is truly wonderful how often we are mortified by find- ing praftised more as an ornament than for personal comfort. And we cannot restrain our astonishment, when we refleft how strangely it is in many parts of the world totally disregarded, to a degree indeed highly offensive to every English person ; who, on observing the filth and nastiness prevalent in some foreign countries, feels not a little pleased with the consciousness, that English cleanliness is almost pro- verbial amongst our neighbours. As no person then can be too clean for the advan- tages of health or beauty, it is much to be wished that habits of delicacy were more real than affefted ; that is, that all people were clean for themselves, and not only for their company. t U9 ] Slovenliness. THIS is certainly in itself a very common, tfiough very odious failing, and requires the utmpst care and pains to correft every the most trifling approach to it, from its being so natural a defeft, that nothing but the attentions of education can completely eradi- cate propensities which are more general than one quite likes to acknowledge. Indeed the shame attending on habits of slovenliness is so strong in most people of civilized manner^, that it at first seems utterly impossible for any thing so disgusting to every class ever to be an objeft of affeftaiion ; yet a very little consideration must convince us that even dirt has its admirers, and is looked up to as a symptom of superior wisdom, despising that conde- scension to the common forms of the world, which imply an attention to rules beneath the notice of a a great mind ! The vanity of slovenly habits and apparel is as much affefted by those strange people sometimes to be found, who pride themselves in a threadbare coat or unwashed hands, and is certainly as great a foppery as that displayed by the wearers of the most elegant or ftishlonable (and they are very different) dresses at the most costly entertainments. But l' n . I i 150 ] though one has heard of such eccentric beings, and perhaps now and then met with one or two in the course of one's life, yet it must be acknowledged that the learned lady, who is ridiculed in old books for her inattention to all neatness or decorum, and for her ignorance of every reigning mode, is by no means a common charafter in this age ; and that when it is thought worth while to affeft slovenly and dis, agreeable customs, in order to make a shew of more ?bstraaion from the world than is really felt by the silly aftors of neatness, this sort of fame is seldom coveted, except by menj and indeed only by those whose retired line of life first led them into indulgen- cies and habits that have crept upon them by almost imperceptible degrees, till being grown accustomed to the laugh which their odd ways sometimes expose them to, they at length mistake the notice which their singularity excites for a sort of compliment ; and growing proud of observation, however obtained, continue from aiFeftation to do what affords them no real pleasure, and what a very little attention would at first totally have checked, without the smallest detriment to the acquirement of that knowledge, or the prosecution of those studies, requisite in profes- sions, which may surely be as well carried on in a dean as in a dusty apartment, or in decent as well as in dirty cloathing. .' [ 151 ] However, amongst even the retired kind of men I mean to allude to, this absurd afFeftation is happily sufficiently uncommon for me to suspeft that I have filled my page with condemning what is so rarely to be met with, that some of my readers may justly com- plain of my wasting their time with needless warnings against yielding to a temptation with which they are unacquainted, and have no inclination ever to feeL Yet that singularity has and does in some mea- sure command the respeft of the vulgar and ignorant, will not be denied, when it is recollefted how often a low servant describes his master's supposed wisdom, by what he considers as the height of commendation — an assurance that " He never thinks <« of such matters as they, for he be above all such « stuif!" And that praise, however mean, is still grateful to numbers of people, must I fear be owned, when we reludantly refleft how many great and wise men have been known to praftise habits, which they were conscious must be disagreeable to others in company, merely to attraft attention 5 and how often apparent negleft of the decencies of custom is put on, as an implication of a mind employed on some abstruse meditation, when its sole aim, after all, was^ only to call forth what through the pretended absence was heard with delight— a remark of that being always his way/ 1 • I i Elegance of Manner and of Dress. 'P'HERE is nothing more an objeft of afFeftation than elegant manners, and there is nothing so di£5cult of imitation as true elegance ; which, with- out the trouble of display, is strongly marked in every word and every aftion of the person possessing one of the most engaging ornaments with which it is possible to improve beauty j and which renders even ugliness so pleasing, that we forget personal appear- ance in our admiration of the manner, which gives a charm to every thing that Is said or done, supposing U in itself ever so trifling. Nothing can so clearly demonstrate the education which has been received, or the sort of company to which a person has been accustomed, as their man- ner : it is stamped with indelible marks, and you may in general very quickly discover the line of life ipf your coaipanion from the slightest circumstances. I do not mean to lay it down as a rule without an exception, that elegant manners are confined to pco- pie of rank, or to insist upon it, as I once heard it CC IQ [ 153 ] said, that you might " know such an one to be a gentleman from the manner of his cutting a leg of mutton :" yet though it is certain that a man may often prove himself used to good company by some- what equally trivial, it is likewise certain, that many a one has been ingenious enough to impose on the world, and to pass for a person of consequence, when it was far from the truth. For elegance of manner being an acquirement, it is (though perhaps difficult) certainly attainable by the low as well as the great ; supposing accident to have thrown them in the way of obtaining, by dint of observation, those improvements, which good understanding alone can- not acquire, and which cannot be completely learned without considerable time and attention. But the awkward affeftation of Elegance, which is so much oftener presented to our view than even a tolerable copy, only s^ts vulgarity in a more glaring point of light, and calls forth as an objeft of ridicule many a defeft, which would have remained un- noticed, could the unhappy owner of an old- fashioned gown have suffered it tot remain in its ancient form, instead of converting it into a modern pelisse/ or have refrained from draperying the scanty chintz-patterned cotton with the damask curtains three times dipped and dyed ! Yet this was all done from a rage for elegance, which such awkward i = '}i i M ' ■i i I afFeaatlon has no more power of attaining, than it has of changing the shabby materials into hand- some ones. Elegance of manner and of dress is in a degree a reasonable objeft of attention to all those whose circumstances admit of ornament; but even with them, when any very considerable portion of time or thought is allotted to what only produces improve, ment of outward appearance, I rather suspeft that the strift review of conscience will not perfeftly absolve that waste of valuable leisure, which might have adorned the mind in a proportion more really conducive to happiness, than can arise from the personal graces which elegance indisputably bestows on those who attend to its rules. It is not designed at all to lessen the merits of the pleasing qualities in question, though it must be deeply lamented, when one finds them considered as the principal business of life; and must particularly be held forth to scorn, Tirhen, as is so wonderfully often the case, one finds the absurd affeflation of elegance pervading the very lowest ranks. • There was a time, not very many years ago, when some distinaion of dress was observable in dilFerent classes ; I may now without exaggeration affirm that there is none. For though the wife of a peer will always be known from that of a butcher, and a I 155 ] house-maid from her mistress, by the manner of wearing and of putting it on ; yet in the form of the clothing, and even in the materials of which it is composed, there is now but little difference. The vanity of equality of dress is a luxury of increasing growth in this nation, which will in a few years be but too severely felt by the light-hearted young people of the present hour j who thoughtlessly enjoy the extreme similarity of apparel, which makes it, in a place of public resort, a point requiring consider- ation to know a lady from her servant. Elegance of language, which, when real, is a sure and discriminating mark of education, endeavours, with most ineffeftual attempts to make its way amongst people, who very frequently do not at all understand the meaning of the fine word which they torture and misapply, on occasions where a plain one would better and more intelligibly have expressed the opinion of the speaker, than when enveloped in a cloud of affefted learning; which must remain a mystery to the surprized hearers, who, not having a diftionary at hand, must be contented with the igno- rance to which such elegant speech condemns them. The affeftation of fine words and phrases proves a source of real distress to many a plain per- son, who formerly received much amusement, and sometimes information, from their newspaper j but I I ! [ 156 ] now that elegance of «yle, and that scientific terms, are crept into every paragraph of news, and into every advertisement, whether it be to announce the speedy publication of some learned book, or to give us notice where we may purchase the most infallible cure for our corns, it really requires more knowledge m order to decypher the mysterious page, than falls to the Jot of many of its readers. In former days girls went to boarding-schools j they now go to seminaries ; ladies used to wear shifts j they now are called chemises r^shoes are turned into sandals, stays are corsets, a girdle is a zone, a band for the head is a diadem, a gown is a robe, the border of a petticoat IS described in architeaural terms ; so that without some knowledge of foreign language, and some insight jnto the costume of the ancients, there is no understanding the elegantly refined appellations of the commonest articles of dress. And when from the solemnity of an advertisement I expeft to find some new discovery, which is to prove beneficial to the nation in general, and to refleft lasting credit on the ingenious inventor, of something as extraordi- nary as useful, I must confess myself cruelly disap- pointed to find the consequential nonsense end in snufi-ers with a spring snap! or perhaps in a newly, contrived Peruvian wig, which it is promised shall con. fer the charms of youth on the wrinkles of old-age! C J57 ] 'J . [I Awkwardness, and Unfashionable Dress. iv MUCH of what has been said on the subjeft of slovenliness is really applicable to this, for it is the same inclination to pass for a being of superior wis- dom, which urges people to the laborious and some- times feiortifying affeftation of appearing awkward ia manner and in dress. But little do they succeed ia gaining the charafter they aim at in the opinions of any but the most short-sighted of mortals ; since ridiculous as it is to be an anxious and a servile fol- lower of fashion, it is full as absurd voluntarily to deviate from it in the insignificant shape of our clothing, or manner of accosting our acquaintance. Very few women, though I have known some, fall into this silly vanity, till they grow very old ; for the natural love of ornament, which is so pecu- liar to the sex in their youth, by plunging them into one folly, preserves them from another : but though the antiquated dress of an old lady be sometimes as B( » ,1*1 ji'! m J I ,»'' i< t 158 ] much the produce of affeftation as the more fanciful garb of her grand-daughter, it has far less the ridi- culous appearance of being studied ; since we naturally incline to the supposition, that custom has occasioned a partiality to forms, which, from long acquaintance, she very probably considers as remarkably conveni- ent. We therefore rather admire the curious old pifture, till too much self-approbation, or too severe a philippic on modern fashions, lifts the mask, and we are forced to impute aifeftation, to what we wished to behold as a venerable objeft. But although dress, purposely awkward, is seldom to be laid to the charge of very young women, I have known many a one, whose awkward manner and pre- tended ignorance of forms has been such downright affeftation, as excite the strongest indignation in the minds of those to whom she was anxious to appear too wise to condescend to subjefts, in which though it may not be desirable to be a great proficient, yet it is certainly no disgrace to understand them. I am far from wishing to recommend card-playing to man or woman ; but I can see no merit in aftually not knowing how to play at cards, and no want of good sense in occasionally making up the party of those persons to whom it is an amusement. What then shall I say of the lady ? who, when in a large ' party a card was offered to her by the mistress of C 159 3 the house, started back with apparent amazement, saying at the same time, " A card to me ! what am *^I to do with it? I could write a message on its ^' back, I could wind a skein of silk upon it ! but I *' am unacquainted with its other uses.." Could this woman be really ignorant of card-playing, when she was surrounded with card-tables? or was she not rather despicably affefted ? Pretended ignorance of the common news of the day is another affeftation of awkwardness much re- sorted to by those women who delight in interrupt- ing some topic of mere amusement by the mention of a late publication, with which most of the circle * are unacquainted ; and who perhaps shew their want of her superior information by asking questions, •which whilst the learned lady is enjoying the glory of being considered as an oracle, and is endeavouring to resolve, she perhaps causes others in the company to smile, when her answer displays full as little knowledge on the point in question as is possesed by the more humble, but not in earnest more igno- rant, enquirer. How often likewise in the heat of argument will the same woman, to crown the whole, betray her correft acquaintance with the news she had before pretended to slight, by setting her friends right in some additional circumstance of the story, known, as she declares, to herself alone. Such ;V i'' . !"• V III lit' ^|W if j C ISO ] Kenes are sometimes witnessed, and cannot fail of exciting fresh and inaeasing dislike for the absurdity of affeftation. Awkwardness of manner and of dress is indisputably more common amongst men than women ; and I am half tempted to say, that very few, except the class who wish to be considered as models of elegance, are perfeftly free from it. For though it is not every man who is proud of his adherence to old fashions, or of the singularly awkward cut of his coat, and shape of his hat; yet there are many whose affeftation of pecu- liar fancies is carried to such a pitch, that I positively know the following instance to be true— of a tay- lor's once asking a gentleman, on his ordering a coat of him, « Whether he chose any oddities ?" and on an expression of surprise from his employer, replying with a bow, « I ask pardon, Sir, but as Mr. ••*• *' did me the honour of recommending me, and as " he is an odd gentleman, and orders oddities, I did not know. Sir, but that you may be odd too." - Every one is not an orderer of oddities, but some men are certainly proud of the old-fashioned form of their dress, of their carriages, of their horses, of the arrangement of their families, of their own manners and modes of expression ; and ridiculous as any affec- tation is sure to make itself, this kind of formal awkwardness (when compared with the present stile) « (C [ 161 J being usually accompanied with a considerable mix^ ture of the old politeness, and attention to guests, is far less unpleasant than the modern affeftation of po- sitive ill-breeding. Affefted awkwardness in manner and in dress is amongst men common to many professions and ways of life, naturally escaped by women from their having no peculiar situations to be proud of; (for I do not allude to distinftiqns of title, &c) and professional affeftation is so strong, that even a blind person may almost immediately discover the profession of a man from his affeftin^r that conversation which de- notes his occupation, from his evident pride in the repeated assurances of awkwardness in the ways of the world, and ignorance of every subjeft not rela- tive to his peculiar business ; yet very sorry would he be, were all he says positively believed ! He is as proud of his general knowledge as of that which he makes his particular study, only affefts ignorance in order to be contradlfted, and awkwardness as a symptom of a mind taken up by the labours of con- stant occupation. • In some profe;5sions, dress being not according to the wearer's choice, there is not much room for affefted awkwardness; the form, the colour, of the clothing is decided : cevertheless, some elderly gen- tlemen contrive to be as proud of displaying an old. I ,' '« tfl: H n; ! [ I6e ] fashioned wig or a formal hat, as any young one can be of a smartness of apparel and attention to the reigning mode, not altogether becoming his profes- sion. A rich farmer is proud of his countrified ap- pearance, and of the plain brown coat which, as he rides home from the neighbouring market-town, in- forms all who meet him of his being a man of busi- ness and property. An ancient country squire affefts tmcooth manners, and would not for the value of half his estate change his awkward clothing for that of a London lounger. And reasonable, nay useful, as these sorts of distlnftions sometimes really are, yet I fear they must, if carried to excess, be considered as a species of aflfeftation. Professional affeftation most frequently consists in a kind of awkwardness in manner, or in dress, which shall at once from its peculiarity apprize every body of the situation of the person ; and though it were much to be wished that it were seldomer praflised than is the case, yet if restrained within proper limits, it is far more respeftable than the opposite worse than absurd extreme of seerttlhg half ashamed of it, by scrupulously avoiding every appearance which denotes profession. One would hope that few men engaged in any without feeling due regard, indeed reverence, for that to which they determine to devote their lives and talents, expefting to re- ceive, and if possible, to bestow honour! But what C 163 ] can we think of officers always preferring any dress to their uniform? of military clergymen j always going to reviews, and describing exercise? of dancing phy- sicians, always attending public places rather thaa patients? of^ idle quarrelsome lawyers, always break- ing the peace, which they ought to maintain ? or of a thousand other equally ridiculous contrasts to their several professions, which are cotitiriually to be met with ? Do not these contemptible charafters derive their foolish attempts from the copious stream of affeflation 5 and deceive themselves with the vain imagination, that appearing awkward in what it is their duty to knoWj is the way to be supposed well acquainted with what they do not understand, and is in fad no business of theirs? u a r 1^5 ] I r [r fit ! 'i I I k Indulgence for the Failings of others. T^HOEVER feels in its foil extent, and en- deavours as far as is possible to praftise, the rule delivered by Christ himself, " Whatsoever ye " would that men should do unto you, do ye even " so unto them, for this is the law and the Prophets,'' (Matt. ii. 1 2 will not fail to exercise the truest indulgence towards errors, which must excite more of compassion than contempt in a Christian heart, whose consciousness of infirmity more naturally in- clines to friendly sorrow for a fellow- creature, than to the scorn of failings so often put on by the proud de- claimer against every deviation from propriety. The Christian's observance of error conceals follies, which many nominally indulgent friends publish to the world, with the assumed benevolence of tender la- mentations for the improper behaviour of a person they feel so much regard for, and " are as sorry for " the fault, as if they themselves had committed it. " Such behaviour could, they suppose, proceed only from downright ignorance, nothing else can ex- ec C6 cuse It : and though it seems almost impossible " for **** not to know customs better, yet they " really are willing to believe that that alone must be *' the cause of such unaccountable deviation from ** common rules, with which even children are ac- ** quainted ; but some people do seem to live in a ** wood for ever, and *** is the best-hearted, thought- ** less creature in the universe, though to be sure *' there is no defending this strange conduft." Is this Christian benevolence? Is it rather not the aifeftation of indulgence for a person who has afted imprudently, perhaps improperly ? but who would not sink so en- tirely in the opinion of the world, were it not for the cruel kindness which « Damns with faint praise, assents with civil leer ;" and implies much more than is openly said; whilst proclamation is made of a friend's faults, accom- panied by quantities of fulsome excuses for what is all the time pronounced inexcusable! " Such a one is so insufferably awkward ! but it is no wonder ; *' I vow I wonder she is not worse, and I am sure allowance ought to be made, when one recollefts *' what a low set she was in before she married." " It is quite tiresome to be in company with Mr. ut it is SQ slight a varnish, that no one is deceived by it, and the poor imitation of that truly amiaWe quality never yet gained a friend, whilst the reality of it secures mauy for life. Sincere indulgence for the failings of others by no means requires the blindness to the faults of those we love, >vhi.ch is sometimes observable in people of warm afeftions and not very strong understandings. But as a blind person cannot judge of objefts of sight, so blind love, or silly laughing good-nature, cannot be indulgent to error of which it is in faft ignorant. To be truly indulgent, * there must first be a strong perception of error. * We must under- stand what is wrong, before we can either reprove or excuse it. Severe reproof from an affeftionate t 167 ] heart, delivered with the friendly intention of re- forming the person who is blame-worthy, is by no means inconsistent with the most liberal indulgence; nay, I firmly believe, and hope I shall not be deemed paradoxical for affirming, that the people of most striAness are usually the most indulgent* Indulgence, with the most keen perception pf evil, never despairs of a cure, and, if possible, seeks for the source of the complaint in some cause which shall be les^ reproachful to the person in disgrace than the aftion itself appears to the common observer ; but never endeavours, if a reasonable excuse cannot rea-^ sonably be made, certainly never endeavours to palliate one fault by obtruding another into notice. The chief symptom of genuine indulgence is private un- assuming forgiveness, although the sentiments with regard to conduft in general remain severe enough 10 alarm those who cannot understand that virtue ever reprobates, but is ever ready to pardon, repentant vice. * Our plea for forgiveness of trespasses is, as we forgive those who trespass ! How can we then dare to qffe£l only, instead of being really indulgent ? ii C 168 ] [ 10l ■ t 174 j quotation id the book she Is reading, there iroiiM be more affeftation in the marked concealment (\«^hich is not uncomnlon) of her mite of informa- tloi), than in the tinptetending manner in which it it very possible, without any vanity whatever, to speak of what she knows. It is nevertheless most certain^ that all attempts at science iii women being generally considered as.absurd pretensions, silence on the few stibjefts they may chance to comprehend is far more becoming to their charaftcr, than the vain anxiety to set the company right ; which seldom proceeds from a wish serviceably to idstruft, or indeed from any motive but that of an insatiable thirst for applause* Let real learning never affeaedly obtrude itself into notice; nor let ignorance as affeftedly endeavour to disguise itself by tortured phrases or misplaced observations, lest it should by that means be as glaringly discovered as that of a lady I once knew, who, after she had been exhibiting much ignorant admiration in her remarks on several busts and paint- ings in the room where she was visiting, summed up the whole by pointing to a most beautiful Apollo, and at the same time exclaiming « Wlut a fine " Cicero!'' I am far from desiring women, when proper op- portunity offers, to decline owning acquaintance with what they really do knowj since the pretended igno- [ 17A 3 ranee would merely imply an affefted shame of im- provements, which are at least no" disgrace! and which assuredly may be modestly introduced into notice, without any accompaniment of that self- sufficient pride, which never fails of destroying their intrinsic value. Ignorance i With Contempt for all Kiiowledge. THOUGH the contempt so absudly lavished against every profession, and every various line of life, by those people who belong to a different one from that towards which they direft their pointless satire ; though it be an affe£lation most common to be met with, and on which much might be said ; yet this subjeft having already been treated on under the title of * Contempt for all Acquirements,' I must confine myself to a short expression of wonder that any people should think it worth while, as we often find they do, to affeft more disagreeable qua- lities than aftually belong to them. '[ 176 ] Real Ignorance is always disliked, and no one truly covets the charafter; but affeded ignorance is not unfrequently put on as a sort of hypocritical concealment of superior talents, meaning to make them afterwards burst forth with still brighter light than would have surrounded them, if left to the common chance of discovery, which might have been their natural fate : and although the shallow scheme often fails in its artful purpose, it is melan- choly to observe that it does sometimes succeed, and that people obtain praise from modest humility, when in faft they only retired to take a surer aim, and secure the admiration they so much desire ; but which ought not to be highly flattering, when they refleft on the conduft which has in truth converted a silly vanity into a downright vice, whilst reason and religion both loudly plead against what is indeed scandalous deceit. In a lower degree of the same error we cannot but remark, that to affeft ignorance on circumstances in themselves material is dismally common ; lest an acquaintance with the vulgar objeft of enquiry might lessen the fancied consequence of the foolish woman, who afts more frivolity than she possesses, and knows the price of butter as well as. her housekeeper, she thinks it beneath her to confess that she attends to household cares! In like man- ner the expensive man is proud of debts he never [ 177 ] contrafted, whilst he pays his bills with more regu- larity than he chooses should be known. Such non- sense seems incredible! and though I do not recom- mend all her advice to young people, yet I think Madame de Sillery's maxim on this head would be an useful one to be impressed on the minds of those who feel inclined to take pride in what is really dis- graceful 2—^" 111 est stupide d'afficher un vice quel *' qu'il puisse etre; si Ton a le malheur d'en avoir *' un, il ne faut pas au moins y joindre I'absurde ** sottise de paroitre en tirer vanite.'* K (Economy /np'CONOMY is so necessary, and sometimes ^--*-^ so difficult in the praftice, that I almost believe it rather deserves to be ranked in the list of virtues, than merely of amiable qualifications. It is certainly a duty of the highest consequence, and requisite in every station, for the rich are quite as much called on to exercise it as the poor ; since the greater the riches, the greater must be the responsi- bility incurred in the expenditure of what is com- mitted as a trust, and bestowed as a trial! Without due OECcnomy no lasting good can ever be derived from the perhaps ill-direftcd charity of thoughtless generosity; but with prudence in the employment of fortune, or of time, by turning every part to use, it will be found that oeconomy increases every com- fort and advantage the world affords : for he who never idly squanders his money in things not really wanted, nor ever puts off till to-morrow what may be done to-day, has always plenty against the hour of necessity, and leisure for amusement in that of cheerfulness, A panegyric of ceconomy is however not my pre- sent business, although the subjeft is a tempting one. [ 179 ] and might be spread to great length without danger of being exhausted. Not its praise, but the absur- dity of affefting trivial marks of oetonomy, is what I wish to be attended to; for such conduft, by the awkward management of exposing all the unpleasant and difficult parts of what it is nevertheless fit to praftise, is sure to deter the slight observer from imitation of that reasonable care, which, though branded with the appellation of covetous meanness, yet from the more thinking mind commands respect. To be oeconomical, there is no occasion to sink into littleness; and what is proper in one station may assuredly be ridiculous in another. Affefted ceconomy is troublesome by its incessant endeavour to be noticed, and like most other affec- tations, commonly overshoots the mark. As when the ingenious contriver is proud of proving with how much less muslin she can make up a dress, than is used by her extravagant neighbour; she pro- bably forgets that the scantiness of her quantity may occasion its being sooner worn out, than if she had allowed herself an additional yard ; so that she has in b& not saved a sixpence, and her oeco- nomy turns out an affeftation, not a reality. They who are proud of their attention to family management, torment you with the price of every article of food on the table, till you are so disgusted N 2 ^ J [ 180 J with the unentertaining conversation, that you feel no kind of admiration for the superior sagacity of the person, who amuses you with a description of the various deceits which, were it not for proper clear-sightedness like their own, would be daily 'praftised on them, and on the unwary. . Formal leftures on ceconomy, which are so fre- quently delivered with much affefted solemnity from the old to the young, and which are designed to be serviceable, had nevertheless better be avoided; not only from the tiresome nature of the subjeft, but from their unfortunate tendency to quench that degree of prudence which they were intended to pro- duce. No young man ever squandered less money in amusement, and no young woman ever refused herself a new bonnet, in consequence of an elaborate discourse pronounced on frugality, proceeding from the mouth of an old relation, perhaps really, but certainly in their estimation, rolling in riches^ yet continually lamenting the increase of taxes, and the scarcity of money in the present wretched times. The affefled jeremiade can have no effeft ; whilst^ on the contrary, a well-timed present, particularly if accompanied with some little privation to the giver, not dragged into notice, yet suffered to be known, has often been found to cause more shame of unnecessary expense, and to check more generous- [ 181 ] hearted young people in a career of idle extravagance, than all the affefted savings of those who wish to teach ceconomy, but are ignorant how to set about it. Without a regularly kept up attention to ceco- nomy of time, of expense, of every thing indeed within our power, there can be no comfort, and but little pleasure in the worl j for without cecon omy there can be no overplus dedicated to the first of all delights, that of bestowing what may be acceptable if offered as a present, or useful as charitable assist- ance where it is wanted. A prudent ceconomy of fortune, or of time, by turning every part of it to use, -more than doubles the value of the original quantity J whilst, on the contrary, thoughtless waste of money, or of leisure hours, costs many a sigh to the repentant spendthrift j who, years after the fol- lies he remembers with regret, bitterly laments that which was idly lavished, and is irrecoverably lost. Extravagance. ALTHOUGH there is far more real than merely affefted extravagance in the world, yet it is certainly very frequently put on as the concealment of abso- [ 182 ] lute covetousness. Thus the proverbial phrase of a miser's feast is exemplified by the great entertain- ment which seldom occurs, but when it does, is famous for a bountiful, nay extravagant display of plenty, the reverse of which is the regular custom of the family. A perfeft indifference for expense, an idle waste which affords no gratification to any one, arc very striking symptoms of affefted extravagance; and often will the man, who to outward appearance seems a lavish squanderer of pounds, be found in private a penurious saver of a farthing. The one, as he thinks, gains him the name of open-hearted generosity, the other really adds a trifle to his store ; so that both are in his estimation worth labouring to obtain. To affeft certain qualities, and to gain a splendid but a false charafter, happens every hour, and is so very common, that we are scarcely surprised at what so constantly meets our observation: but as the fre- quency of a failing by no means lessens its impropri- cty, how earnestly does one wish that the madness of extravagance was less in fashion, and that all were ashamed to affeft what all ought to be ashamed to praftise. Those who are rich, as well as those who are poor, owe an account of the disposal of their property, not only in a worldly light, to their families, but, seriously of the trust com- [ 183 ] mitted to their care, to the Giver of all riches. How absurd then is it to affeft what duty bids us avoids ! and how desirable is it for the rich to refrain from fancying that a profusion of expense is an indication of generosity, and from allowing themselves that ostentatious affedation of extrava- gance which encourages the reality of it in persons of a lower rank, who are led into actual ruin by the imitation of what they see praSised by their supe- riors. Happy would it be, if the rich alone would venture to indulge in the luxury of making elegant presents and bestowing expensive gifts ; but most unfortunately we too often find a foolish emulation of grandeur, which is beyond their reach, tempting people to afts of extravagant liberality, which occa- sion vexatious reflexions of the momentary gra- tification they received from the praise of what costs them real inconvenience; so that the gift is after all grudgingly thought of by the giver, who, conscious that vanity, not generosity, prompted the extrava- gance, will likewise not improbably owe to his affec- tation sensations of covetousness, which would without it never have infefted his mind. The person of moderate circumstances is bound to mo- derate generosity, as well as moderate expense of all sorts; and he whose afiluence admits of the satisfaftion of giving, should observe to do it mo- ! r 184 ] destly, nor ever swell a subscription with a sum which renders the name that precedes it conspicuous and frightens many a more humble contributor from adding the trifle which yet would have been useful. It is surely prafticable to bestow largely, yet on the list not to appear more liberal than other subscribers, which is eventually more likely to injure than to serve the charity ; since it is most certain, th2it false shame of not doing more and of ^/^/;;^ kss than others, often prevents the little that might be done, whilst vanity of the worst kind was the motive both of thq large gift, and of the witholding the small one ! The extravagance so often aflfefted in their way of life by those in low circumstances is really criminal, when for the vain pleasure of vying in expense with their neighbour, that money is idly lavished, which was due to the necessary comforts of a family. And whilst the absurd spendthrift, as is commonly the case, all the time regrets, nay grudges, the money so foolishly wasted in nonsense ; the surrounding crowd he means to dazzle by his finery pronounce the ap. parent extravagance to be not real, but an abomi- nable affeaation of a very serious fault. Prudence. A FFECTED Prudence is as truly ridiculous as ^ -^ its reality is useful, indeed necessary in every station of life, but which not being very highly in vogue, is not very generally affed^ed in middle age ; though, strange to say, it is common amongst very young, and extremely so amongst old people. Girls of thirteen or fourteen, who perhaps witness real prudence in their friends, if left for a few hours with the care of brothers and sisters younger than themselves, are very apt to assume the manners of mamma, and to affeft the attention they see her be- stow on her children on occasions where it is requisite; till airs of superiority produce quarrels, the little ones are worried by consequential watchfulness, and on the mother's return, instead of expcifled praise, de- served reproof is the reward for the afFefted imitation of prudence, which there was not suflicient underr standmg to put in praftice. A very young mistress of a family, whether a married or a single woman, unfortunatelj^ deprived I 186 ] of a mother's care at the early age where it is most wanted, often afFefts prudence to a most imprudent degree; she is so fastidiously careful of her good name, that she loudly proclaims her dislike of people, with whom true prudence would teach quietly to avoid cultivating much intimacy, without announcing to all those who will listen to her her decided aversion to light behaviour and irregular hours, and her fixed determination not to have any connexion with such charaflers. Let her do so, but not talk so. She is so attentive to her expenses, that in her affeftation of prudence she is almost parsimonious in trifles, whilst in articles more costly, but which had not occurred to her recollection, she is guilty of extrava- gance ; which, when discovered, surprises her with the distressing faft of being aftually in debt. This affeftation of prudence is the more to be la- mented, as it certainly arises from an inclination to aft properly, though I fear tinged with no small degree of self-sufficiency, preventing a recurrence for advice to some friend, whose experience might point out the difference between reality and its shadow! Happy indeed is that young woman, who setting out on the sea of life, is married to a man able and willing to direft her in a voyage, the difficulties of which she should not pretend to be acquainted with jbi^fore sife has entered upon it; but in order effeftually [ 187 ] to shew her prudence, had best confess herself desti* tute of any. But, as I said before, prudence is so very little in fashion, that few, very few men, dare even, if they possess, to avow it; we therefore need not look for its affedlation amongst them, either when boys, or when just advanced to manhood. In old age, how- ever, they share it very equally with. women; fnd most ludicrous is the affefted prudence with which many old people give information of a piece of scan- dal, which they do not positively relate, yet spread with a consequential appearance of knowing more than they tell; describing persons, yet not naming names, till it is impossible not to understand who is alluded to ; for though ** The dial spake not, yet it made shrewd signs." Dryde/t* This affeftation of prudence might shield the retailer of false news, if called to account for a libel in a court of law; but in the court of conscience, held in every creature's heart, an acquittal from scandal will not be pronounced. The prudent direftion of fortune, and of servants, is the never-ending theme of many old men and wo- men, accompanied with numberless shrewd remarks on modern extravagance, and on their own sagaci- ous management of estates, they possibly^ are np C 188 ] otherwise acquainted with, than as their steward remits their rents to them ; but this sort of affefted prudence only sets the speaker in a disagreeable light, and harasses the patient hearer, who is by no means improved by a comparison, of which he cannot be an adequate judge, between the differences of customs and expanses in the present year, and what .thej were half a century ago. Steadiness of temper, and a determination to abide by some well-considered ruleofaftion, provided it be a good one, is certainly a constituent part of pru- dence ; but at the same time the greatest care must be taken, lest in this prudent conduft of wisdom, steadiness should become positive obstinacy in trifles, and produce a contentious habit of disputation on subjefts where it is very easy to be mistaken. Regularity of hours is a very common affeftation of what, when attended to, is a prudent and a pleasinn- m r II [ 212 ] she should receive all the adulation she courts, embittered as it must be with continual terror of some unlucky accident, .which may discover her sliape to be owing to the skill of a stay-maker, her teeth to that of a dentist, her hair to be only a fashionable wig, and her complexion bought at a perfumer's ! Let us rather be satisfied with the appearance it has pleased God to give us. We may injure, but shall not mend, his works ? If we are ugly, let us no otherwise attempt to adorn that ugliness, than by an endeavour at a constant exercise of good-nature and benevolence, which infuses a pleasing cheerfulness into the least agreeable set of features, and lights up even an ugly countenance with more attraftion than can be purchased in all the shops of the metropolis ! Should we, after all our attempts to improve our looks by the serenity of temper arising from a culti- vation of the most estimable virtues, should we still be so unfortunate as to possess a gloomy and for- bidding appearance j let us not even then be mortified or ashamed, but remember that there is one, to whom our inward thoughts are known ; who regards not the outward man, but who loves, and will reward, the beauty of the soul — that which it is in our power (with assistance which, when ap- plied for, will not be withheld) to improve during every hour of our existence ; to render, under every [ 213 ] increased trial or difliculty, less and less unworthy of Almighty mercy : and which (without fearing the imputation of afieftedly following that fleeting and most commonly unattainable circumstance, personal attraftions) we may strive, and strain every effort, continually to beautify with the Beauty of Holiness, for which we are commanded unremittingly to labqur. Ugliness^. BEING desired and admired by no one. Ugliness is indeed so seldom an object of affedation, that I should scarcely have ventured to mention it in that light, were it not that in spite of the insults to which it is not unfrequently exposed, the abhorrence it in- spires, and the offence it gives to all people to hear it imputed to them \ yet I am bound to confess that there have been instances, where ugliness, or rather deformity, has been the occasion of a sort of pride to ugly persons, who, conscious of a dis^agreeabie appearance, which nothing could conceal, have stretched the laudable determination to be content with their fate ; till meaning to be praised for a meritorious humility, their calling for notice of ■ M I. i t 214 i defefts has grown into a troublesome obtrusion o^ their misfortunes, and has sunk what otherwise Would have been pity into downright disgust. This odd, and in its origin well-meant afFeftation, belonging to ugly people, (for it is not affeftation of uglinesss itself,) by degrees is sometimes converted pto absolute pride in those singularities, which are exclusively their own. What else could make an an unfortunate dwarf proud of his littleness ? and talk with a sort of satisfaftion of being still shorter than another, who was mentioned as famous for the same defeft ? Another instance of aftual pride in deformity has likewise been related to me — of a black man, a trumpeter to a regiment, who was seriously hurt on being told of another reginaent, in which there was another trumpeter, still more fright- ful than himself! This species of pride is however very rare, and it must be acknowledged that a taste for ugliness is not sufficiently prevalent to be produftive of much afFe£lation« . Bodily Strength. THIS is in earnest coveted by all people, as one of the greatest conveniencies and advantages in all situations ; and most particularly so, where maintenance depends on exertions of strength, to which those of a delicate form are totally unequal. But though wished for as a desirable circumstance, is it not ridiculous, that ineffeftual wishes for any blessing which like this is so entirely out of our power, should occasion an affeftaiion of really enjoying it? And is it possible to refrain from laughter, when we so very frequently find the most puny of mortals boasting of their wonderous feats, and ignorance of fatigue ; relating with self-compla- cency the short time in which a journey was per- formed ; without reflefting that the merit, were there any, belonged to the horse rather than to the rider ? the numbers of fox-chaces followed by jovial even- ings, which never produced a single head-ach ? with numberless afts of equal prowess, which though it may be fortunate to have strength to execute, yet the performance of which, even if real, does not sufficiently redound to the credit of the performers to create admiration in the minds of those people i'rr, « m I [ 216 J whose good opinion Is worth obtaining; and which, when boasted of by one unequal to the mighty efforts, cannot foil of producing contempt. Amongst the lower ranks, and amongst all school- boys, or very young men, the being able to lift enormous weights, to run with remarkable swiftness, to swallow more at one meal than might suffice a moderate man for three, or to overcome an adver- sary in a boxing-match ; all these things are consi- dered as such glorious achievements, that the afFec- tation of them has occasioned many a broken head, to the no small confusion and perhaps anger of the vanquished party ; who never fails to attribute his want of success to any accidental cause rather than the true one — his want of power to execute what he had undertaken : and who, mortified at having proved his weakness, where he wished to exhibit his strength, blames some undue advantage, which he maintains to have been taken ; and so concludes in a quarrel what was begun in merriment! Women are not often to be taxed with affeSatioa of strength ; for though I have known some few who were proud of their long walks, and long rides on horseback, yet personal strength being never considered as an addition to the elegance of femi- nine appearance, ladies are in general more addifted to the opposite and more delicate aiFeftation of t 217 ] Weakness, WHICH is most assuredly not fashionable amongst men, who almost invariably have the folly of being hurt, if nature has not cast them in a gigantic mould ^ » whilst the never-ceasing rage for admiration amongst women leads them to afFeft more weakness than they feel ; fancying it so interesting, that it can never fail of attradling that pity in earnest, which is oftea so politely bestowed on the fair hand that has not strength to throw up windows, or to open drawers ; which however yield to the attempt with perfeft ease, when no obliging assistant is present to relieve her from an exertion beyound the power of so delicate a being! Fatigue in a walk overcomes many a lady, who is forced to have recourse to the friendly arm, without whose support she could not have reached home; and many a one has fainted with the extreme warmth of a public place, and occasioned universal hurry and confusion in the search for hartshorn, or at least a glass of water : — Yet the same woman often goes over the same ground in company with only her sister, laughing and chattering all the way, not reco!- lefting that a whole mile is far too great a distance 4 k r fi f>i r I * [ 218 3 for her; and as often spends two or three hours dressing in a close room, too busily employed to take notice that the heat is far beyond that at which it is proper to faint in company ! It is not an uncommon, but a lamentable fault, to affeft weakness; which, preventing the perform- ance of things ' not in themselves agreeable, has furnished many a woman with an apparently reason- able excuse, founded on the convenient defeft of her constitution: when she would have been ashamed. to own in plain terms, what is however the true state of the case,) that nursing her child herself is more trouble than she chooses to undertake; and that going to church is at an hour that interferes with her usual disposition of her time, and incon^ sistent with her more entertaining engagements* Yet the convenient affeftation of weakness allows, her to grieve over the unfortunate necessity she is under of confiding her angel to the care of a wet nurse; and to express her regret at being forced, from motives of health, to abstain from religious duties, the propriety of which she talks of to others,, although she never performs them herself! This mode of recurring to afFefted weakness, as a satisfaftory plea for not performing what the heart acknowledges to be requisite, merits I fear a much more serious rebuke, than that which cannot be C 219 3 withheld from the palpable afFeflation of being fully able to attend every place of public diversion, and to endure every fatigue belonging to the unremit- ting pursuit of pleasure, without experiencing that miserable weakness, so constantly appealed to as a reason for preventing whatever is not amusement. Those who are conscious that this is so, cannot I think avoid applying to themselves the not very consolatory observation, that " Even so ye also out- ** wardly appear righteous unto men, but within ** ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity." (Matt» xxiii. 28.) *« a!. ■ t ■ I I Family. T)RIDE of Family has often been encouraged -*• almost as a virtue ; and the real advantage which might be derived from looking back to a train of worthy ancestors as examples for imitation, would make it scarcely possible absolutely to blame a feeling capable of producing the most laudable effefts, were it fa£b^ that not to disgrace their progenitors was a principle sufficiently impressed on the minds of de- scendants, to preserve them from the follies and errors, which I however must suspeft were never yet checked by the recolleftion of a great, twenty times repeated, great-grandfether's conduft ! But seldom are the virtues only of ancestry the source of that pride or affeftation I mean to allude to. It is the vain delight of being able to reckon a long line of titled names; or with equal pleasure to shew the unennobled, but ancient pedigree, which may be traced up to Saxon charafters that nobody can read. This it is that creates a strange but con- ( 221 3 scions satisfaftion in the heart of iht great man^ able to display the emblazoned parchment; which, though it may gratify and amuse himself, is very apt to provoke an indignant smile from the uncntertained person who is favoured with the sight. It is a very trite remark, that every body's pedigree is in truth of an equal date, since the King and the cobler are both the children of Adam ; but far be it from me by this common-place saying to encourage the wild confusion of ranks, and afFefted contempt for high birth, which have surely not been attended by any very pleasing efFefts amongst our neighbours on the Continent. Neither do 1 mean to reprobate, what is certainly useful as well as creditable, (provided it be not suffered to increase into arrogance) the pre- serving of family records with a kind of filial venera- tion, and looking over accounts of family transaftions and conneftions with the reasonable satisfaftion arising from a knowledge of being descended from a really respeflable ancestry. Yet when the attention to family, and the consequences of it, are carried so far, (as is in some countries the unhappy praftice,) that two amiable young people cannot be married, because the one cannot shew quite so many names in the pedigree as the other ! and when people are prevented from devoting themselves to what they con- sider as the service of God, because in some parti- C 222 3 cular convents rank must be proved, before it is possible to become the nominally humble inhabitant of the cloiswer, within those walls the mind ought not to be tainted with worldly grandeur ; although the preparation for seclusion be attended with all the pomp of pride I that of family in the testimonials which are required ; and that of splendour^ in the magnificent as well as afFeftingly solemn scene of a nun's taking the veil : — then indeed does the folly, the almost sinful folly, of little greatness strike one in its full force ; one shrinks from the vain-glorious prkle *' not made for men." (Eccles. x. i8.) And if any thing could be urged in excuse for the late equalizing madness, which we all remember, it would be, when arrogance is permitted, nay authorised, to influence the engagements of affection, and those of devotion; for such monastic vows must be termed, even by those who look on them as fanciful enthusiasm. If high birth, ever so justly claimed, be deemed unworthy of raising pride in a truly exalted mind, what shall we say to the mean affeftation of great decent in many people, whose families are ennobled merely by the sums of money expended in the ac- quirement of the Bloody Hand, or still more delight- ful Coronet, which they view with such satisfaftion on their carriages ; whilst they endeavour to forget, what it is too absurd to be ashamed of, that their C 223 ] forefathers laboured hard for the fortune, and earned by industry what is now squandered in useless dis- tindions? Nor does the title, after all, confer the expefted consequence ; for the ancient, though poor family, always looks with an eye of scorn on the ftiodern acquisition, and derides the pretty afFeftation by ill-natured remarks on the origin of the new great man. But it is not so much pride of family, for it is difficult positively to deceive on that head, neither is it considered in this country with the respeft which it commands in others \ it is not so much the rank of ancestors, as that of great connexions, and great ac- quaintance, which are affeftedly introduced into every conversation, and quoted on every occasion where it is prafticable to use the name, were it only to tell us that Lord and Lady **** love boiled muttoa better than roast! If a relation marry a titled person, the Lord or Lady are immediately the most charming of the fa- mily, and their accomplishments eclipse those of every other untitled cousin. How very often too dp we hear people of rank spoken of as remarkable intimates by those, who, though they may be inscribed on the visiting list, have yet little or no real acquaintance with the dear friend^ whose name, though mentioned in some crcles as a subjeft r 224 1 ofprFde, yet in others is sparingly and cautiousljT introduced through fear of the very probable detec- tion of fraud! I have heard of a man, who had for- merly been an hair-dresser, and who, in the course of his life endeavouring to pass himself off as a gen- tleman, used to talk of having been in company with such and such, (naming well-known names,) repeating phrases peculiar to them, stories they were in the habit of telling ; and by this means making it so clear that he was well acquainted with the persons in question, as not to leave a doubt on the subje£i:. And, after all, positive falsehood there was none : the man knew what he said, but did not design it « should ever have been discovered that he was friz- zing and powdering all the time he was in the room! This silly boasting of great conneftions with and great knowledge of the great, which is afFefted by the lowest only of people, (low in intelieft, if not in situation,) must always defeat its own end, and over- whelm the boaster with confusion ; when it may so happen that he is scarcely noticed by his pretended intimate, who on meeeting him may possibly only return his bow by touching his hat with the vacant stare of ignorance. AflFeftation of greatness shews itself on many other occasions, where it equally draws the boaster into unpleasant and still more distressing circum- [ m ] Stances 5 as when the youth who has talked of the grandeur of his family mansion, is ashamed of direfting his college acquaintance to the comfortable farm- house, where he might be hospitably received, and thus loses the pleasure of his friend's company, be- cause pride stands in the way ! The same sort of character would and must blush to see a person of his acquaintance enter the shop, which he is con- scious is his home, in a lane in the City; when he had previously wished it to be understood that his father lived in one of the most elegant squares in the metropolis. Sorry I am to be too certain that these instances are by no means rare 5 and though indisputably in their beginning owing to mere despicable affec- tation, yet are they also tainted by, and cannot be cleared from, the imputation of still deeper error — • being a most abominable mixture of Pride, False- hood, and Contempt for Parents! Low Birth. IT is natural, and provided it be kept confined within due bounds, it is surely allowable for a man to glory in having, by proper industry and applica- iii|d|ii, [ 226 1 tion, raised himself to the top of a profession, sup ported a family ia affluence, and given education to his children, which his own situation at the be- ginning of his life had denied to him. The man who feels all these comforts, not proceeding from the accidental circumstances of birth or fortune, but from the meritorious exertions of the faculties bestowed on him by the Giver of all things; may justly refleft with satisfaftion on the low birth which was his origin, and humbly bless the gra- cious assistance he has received in the improve- inent of talents which have been the source of so much happiness. This man may delight to talk in his own family of his former state in the strongest terms; may and ought to make use of examples drawn from it, to check any rising pride he may ob- serve in his descendants, from consciousness of wealth, or perhaps of title ; supposing him advanced to those distinftions which are so often the well- earned reward of an aftive and industrious life. But if he continually obtrude the subjeft and his own history into general conversation, then will the af- fefted humility with regard to birth become obvious to every eye; the pride he seems to take in belonging to a family raised from nothing will shew itself to consist of, what in faft it is, a great deal of self- applause, with no small proportion of vanity, arising i 227 ] from wealth or talents. Let us be proud of neither as our own acquisition, but grateful for the gifts, and careful to improve both, not only for our own, but for our children's, and our neighbour's advantage, by the force of steady example, which is indispu* tably the best encouragement to perseverance in well-doing* But not only the self-consciousness of present enjoyment is produftive of the afFeftation of low birth ; envy, I am sorry to say, very commonly gives rise to this sensation : for the person who is hurt at seeing a former companion risen into rank so beyond expeftatidn, from vexation at his own more moderate condition, often feels ill-natured pleasure in the sar- castic recolleftion of youthful employments, in order strongly to mark the contrast between the grandeur he covets, and the poverty he affefts so complacently to remember. There was no humility, there was no real pleasure, in the refleftion of being a very low man; there was no satisfaftion, but the mean one of shewing a former similarity of station, though there was now a difference, which used to make a farmer (a rich one too he was, though not so much so as the man he envied, and who in his opinion gave himself airs on his purse) so fond of observing, whenever, or on whatever occasion, his neighbour was mentioned, " He and I are comfortable now, ' Good Health. NATURAL, constitutional Good Health is so entirely out of our reach, that to aflfeft it is as ridiculous, and indeed as fruitless, as it would be for a dwarf to emulate the height of a giant. Yet as the injury of health is most certainly within our power, and many, if I must not say most, disorders originate in imprudence j so does the preservation of the blessing, when once bestowed, require a degree of care and temperance to secure it, which the very young are but too apt to ridicule under the appella- tion of old women's notions; till in the course of ^ few years they begin to discover that a little early attention would probably have procured them an easier journey down the hill of life, than at first set- ting out appeared to them either necessary or agree- able. No — to take any trouble to obtain, or to secure blessings, is by no means worth a thought from the young and liyely ; yet it is absolutely neces- sary to afFeft being in possession of those the farthest removed from their attainment. Very like the pride of bodily strength is that of good health. No young man or woman ever per- [ ^31 j mits the consideration of attention to it to interfere with a scheme for amusement j there is a vanity in being superior to all the dangers arising from heat or cold, wind or rain, and the consequent complaints they are likely to produce. *^ Oh, I never catch ** cold!" " Lord, I never take stuff out of a nasty *' shop!" are very common assertions from many a woman, whose sickly countenance does not agree with her boasted hardiness, and whose apothecary's bill perhaps contradifts her never having recourse to his drugs. Why should there be such shame in the consciousness of suffering under a misfortune, as to give rise to the affeftation of an opposite blessing in order to conceal it? It is reasonable moderately to wish for every pos- sible happiness and advantage which the world af» fords. Health, without doubt, is one of the very first on the list of what all people desire; and should its dreadful opposite be owing to the irregularities of the sufferer, then indeed is there cause not only for shame, but for the deepest contrition, embittered by the humiliating acknowledgment of being most justly paying the penalty of former error: but if the poor invalid feel no self-reproach, rendering the torments of disease doubly painful, why should there be even the shadow of ideal disgrace mingled with the quiet cAdurance of sickness? or \yith canfess.ing the ia- Yr ) t 1 1^ \\\ [ 232 ] fli£lion which cannot be avoided, and which for some good purpose has been permitted, in order to purify that beiter part^ on whose well-doing is to depend eternal life? To despise such warnings is madness ! most particularly when, as in the instances of being ashamed of misfortune, the deceiver by a pretence of false health attempts a concealment of those chas- tisements, to which, designed as they are for our benefit, submission is required. " Lord ! there is no being so wondrous grave ** about every trifle ; who, I wonder, would like to ** talk of their corns, or choose to own having a !' decayed tooth ?" To this exclamation, which I can fancy I hear, I reply, that there is assuredly no occasion; nay, that it is highly indelicate, to intro- duce such subjefts into common conversation ; nor io I at all mean to recommend such an outrage to 4»he decency of manners so constantly to be observed: Yet I strongly wish to guard my young friends from the opposite extreme of affefled delicacy, ih boast- ing of a freedom from pain or illness, which is no merit of theirs; or of a good state of health, which if they happily possess, they had best peaceably enjoy ; and which if they do not, the misfortune will inevitably be discovered sooner or later ; but very probably not till their amazing pretended stout- ness has drawn them into many an inconvenience, or [ 233 ] serious and lasting injury to their constitutions, and into many an awkward circumstance, when forced to the disagreeable confession, that the being always equal to all yeather and all difficulties, was so far from truth, as to be in faft a downright falsehood! s^ Jllness. THIS is far more generally afFeftedthan the former very reasonable objeft of desire ; there is a something so interesting in the delicate languor sometimes attending illness, that numbers of people have beea known to personate sickness, in order to obtain the kind compassion which suffering so frequently ex- cites. Not only women, who are chiefly accused of this unworthy foible, but men likewise are often guilty, for the sake of pity, of making the most of any accident that befalls them, or of any habitual complaint they may be liable to. So soothing is it to be nursed and lamented over by the tenderness ofaffeftion! Yet though pity from those we love be a mark of kindness, from which it is impossible not to receive satisfa<^ion, and not to feel gratitude, let us beware of overstepping the bounds of prudence ir « [ 234 ] in venturing to rase it. The too frequent recurrence of the sanae scene fatigues the most affeci:iouate friends; and interesting as illness may in some in* stances appear in its beginning, the earnestness of condolence will at last wear out : and sorry have I often been to observe that the long continuance of distress, instead of increasing, (as rationally it ought,) really serves to lessen compassion. The exertion of the sufferer to endure is po longer dwelt on as highly praise- worthy by the beholder; it comes as a thing of course, and is therefore disregarded j apprehension is no Ipnger alarmed for the fate of the sick person, who, having so often overcome similar attacks, is probably in no danger : all these circum- stances blended together must and do produce a sort of indifference, not arising from any want of regard, but which is the natural effeft ^ a natural cause— the certain operation of time. But as the most true and least disagreeable complaints are likely by degrees to tire those who are bound by love or by duty to attend on the sick, and as some dis- orders are ia their nature disgqsting : how very cau« tious oiight those to be, who are conscious of such misfortunes, in giving way to fancies, tq offensive habits, to idle complainings, or to exacting more at- tendance from their friends and dependants than is absolutely necessary. Want of resolution to strug- «' C 235 ] gle against disease is a fault both to God and to man : towards God, that we do not endeavour to improve the trial which it is his will to impose, into a com- mencement at least of virtue, by an entire resignation to his decrees, which his mercy will not fail to assist, till the suffering shall gradually increase into its own reward : towards man it is a fault, because we do not aft in regard to him, as we would wish he should treat us in similar circumstances. We cannot suppose it generous to complain of every trifle, and to amuse the eye and the ear of friendship with a continual recurrence to sufferings. We know that we are happy when we hear of the relief from uneasiness enjoyed by those we love; then why should the dolorous countenance, and the ** very *' indifferent indeed," be the constant reception of- ferred by so many people to those who are most intereste4 in then: welfare? Yet that this is a daily faft, all people Jcnow; and there scarcely exists any one who has not seen an instance of a sick person's forgetting in ten minutes the melancholy and load of illness with which they were oppressed during the first account of themselves, and then joining as loudly in the merriment of the company as any body in the room. If this be so, then possibly some degree of exertion might have dissipated the gloom, which ^t first cast a damp on the pleasure of the friendly en- t h * I I [ 236 ] quirer, whilst the selfish love of compassion would laudably have yielded to that of bestowing satisfaftion. But this kind of affectation of illness, or rather exaggeration of its powers, is not all. There is a degree of affeftation of it, sometimes pradtised with the most designing motives and of the most criminal nature. When to obtain charity, or to gain any fa- vourite end, a person has art and njeanness enough to counterfeit illness, which, by interesting the feelings of those who witness the false suffer- ing, receive the indulgencies, and perhaps gifts, which would not have been granted to high health ; when such falsehood can deliberately be had recourse to, we do not scruple to pronounce the aftor or aftress of the infamous farce capable of any wicked- ness whatever, which in their opinion will further either their pleasure or convenience. But without so deep-laid a scheme for deceit, (which I grieve to say I have known praflised, and have rejoiced on its merited deteftion,) it is not an uncommon excuse amongst numbers of people, who look upon what they choose to denominate a white lie as perfeflly innocent, to make use of perhaps habitual ill-health, at a time when they are quite well; or to have re- course to a convenient head-ach, as a reason for neg- lefting any appointment, or omitting to do any thing not entirely- agreeable to themselves. Without C 237 I much intention of fraud is the invention made use of: but let them beware of familiarity with falsehood; for habit being allowed to be a second nature, those who acquire a customary disregard for truth in slight matters, will scarcely feel the veneration for it which is requisite in those of moment, and indeed in every aftion of iife: for though the phrase a white lie may be a very good joke, it is, like most jokes, perfeftly devoid of meaning. I know of no difference to alter the reality of its nature ; and though some are con- fessedly more attrocious than others, the lie still re- mains a lie, and is disgraceful as well as intrinsically wicked. The deceit of affefted illness is peculiarly mis- chievous, since it injures numbers of people not at allconnefted with the miserable impostor; hardening the hearts of all who hear of, and particularly of those who have had the mortifying task of detefting, the trick ; and who have thus been rendered less ready to compassionate and to relieve real distress, when it may be their fate to meet with it. How many people have we known harassed by the continually feigned, or (almost equally criminal) the indulged, illness of those they live with, till an appearance of harshness has been produced in their manner whenever ill-health was mentioned, which certainly formed no part of what was originally a mild I , .'I C 238 ] and feeling temper ; but which fretted beyond en- durance at the daily repetition of the same nonsense, changed at last into an unkind negligence for even those whose sufferings were but too real. " As a ** madman who casteth fire-brands, arrows, and death, so is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith am 1 not in sport?" (Prov. xxvi. 1 8, 1 9.) May this be a warning to those who trifle with the tenderness excited by illness ; may they remember that they are venturing to wield most delicate as well as most dangerous weapons, which wound sharply with many edges, and will in all probability sooner or later recoil upon themselves! €C €Q $ ^T* Memory. TVJOTHING is more entertaining, or often more •^ ^ instruftive, than the conversation of a person, retaining all the spirit and faculties of youth, full of anecdotes of their own time, told with the good- humoured cheerfulness which frequently charafte- rizes agreeable old-age ; pleased by relating scenes in which they were formerly engaged, pleased by the attention bestowed on their story, and giving pleasure to the hearers by the description of circumstances in every respeft different from the occurrences of the present hour. Memory in age is engaging ; Memory in youth is; of the highest value ; it is the foundation of all use- ful knowledge, furnishes constant amusement to the possessor, as well as to those who profit by its par- ticipation. But the affeftation of this pleasing quality in either the old or the young is abominable, and yet so common, that one would almost suppose want of recdleftion was a sin; so angry are all peo- ple, when want of memory, or mere mistake on some immaterial point, happens to be imputed to them. 1 ^ [ 240 ] Affeflation of an exz£i memory is to be met with In every conversation on every subjeiH:, from the most trivial to the most important circumstance the world affords. Every body knows every thing, and is able to give so exaft a report of every occurrence, that did not testimony sometimes clash, one might be tempted to believe that those who describe so minutely must have been present ! yet the contrary is usually the case; and rather than the memory should be doubted, a thousand little incidents which never took place are invented on the occasion of the moment. Great talkers, and people having the unfortunate charafter of a good memory, are those who are most apt to fall into this inventive absurdity, which must in all probability produce contradiftion from one-half of their acquaintance, who had equal, if not more, op- portunities of knowing the real circumstances of the event ; but the persons famous for memory are too tenacious of the reputation, ever to condescend to a confession of havmg forgotten any one point of their story, or (what might possibly be still more morti- fying) to acknowledge their total ignorance of a faft, on which they happen to be questioned. The affeftation of correft memory shews itself by knowing, to the precise exaftitude of a day, the date of the birth, marriage, or death of any one who is named; a# likewise the connexions, relationships, i 241 ] value of estates, and fortunes given with daughters, in every family of consequence in the kingdom for the last hundred years ; with the secret causes of every extraordinary event, which has created sur- prize in the minds of those most acquainted with the people whose conduft is the present objeft of wonder. But unfortunately, when it so happens that this superabundant memory proves to be mere affeftation of superior but false information, then does the eagerly told and eagerly listened-to intelligence sink into negleft ; and the invidious remark, of " Oh ! it " was only one of ****'s stories,'* stamps the retailer of news with lasting disgrace. Consequential affeftation of being one of the first to report whatever constitutes the news of the day^ often leads the gossipping busy.body into the suspi- cious predicament of being supposed to invent or grossly exaggerate the tale which has been told with over-bearing conceit, and mixed with the most noto- rious blunders — and all, to gain the poor comfort of being reckoned well-informed ! This sort of chatter- ing memory is as troublesome and really mischievous, as it is disagreeable ; it interrupts the thread of all discourse, to set the company right in some point of relationship quite foreign to the drift of the conver- sation in which the names were unluckily introduced, that gave opportunity to the good memory to dis- I :l [ 242 ] play Itself: And it is assuredly mischievous, by fur^ thering a constant propagation of scandal and foolish anecdote ; for people proud of their memories seldom let any opportunity slip of shewing it to the best advantage, and never take time to cdnsider whether the telling the story they are so earnest to circulate may not eventually give more pain to those con- cerned in it, than they themselves can possibly derive pleasure from being one of the very first who knew and set it a-going! Affeftition of memory in subjefts of real know- ledge is so sure to proclaim its own deficiencies, that it is truly astonishing to find how many people endeavour to appear well acquainted with dates of events, with historical fafts, with passages of poetry, and texts ot scripture \ when immediate reference to the book woul^ reftify the silly blunder, which was made in lamely repeating what, when found, would perhaps bear a completely diiferenc meaning from that into which an ignorant attempt to appear know- ing had tortured the poor misquoted words. A good memory is indisputably in all professions, as in every other circumstance of life, one of the greatest advantages, and mdeed (from its usefulness) blessings ; but although in great measure a natural quality, it is nevertheless so capable of improvement, that it is well known, the more it is exercised, the [ 243 ] more it is strengthened ; and that nothing so much tends to the decrease of its powers as the indolent avowal some people are too ready to make, that they never remember any thing. Mere idleness it is that prompts the confession ; for people can so little bear to be detefted in want of memory, that few like to be set right in a mistake, even when glaringly wrong : and I never knew any person with the most erring recoHeflion, who submitted more patiently to the contradiftion of his story, than the more $apient being who could relate every particular with the most apparent correftness. Idleness as certainly produces a defe£tive memory, as employment of the mind encourages a good one. But pleasing as me- mory is, and carefully as it requires cultivation, equal care should studiously be taken to avoid that most tiresome of all qualities, the becoming a prosing memoralist ; who, languishing to keep up the repu- tation of a retentive mind, with the utmost solemnity is so obliging as to inform us how many kittens a great-grandfather's god-mother's cat had at a birth in the year 1700! ii '*•( .>'ii R 2 V<1 p! It I J I 244 ] Forgetfulness, or Absence^ MANY extremely sensible persons, with minds almost wholly engrossed by objefts of business, of serious study^ or of material importance to themselves or their connexions, have at times betrayed an absence of mind, which has led them into inconve- nient and even ridiculous accidents; that have some- times occasioned vexation, and sometimes laughter, amongst their friends, but have been allowed for, or excused, on the plea of their thoughts being too much occupied for them to attend to the common occurrences of life. So many really wise people have occasionally been known to commit awkward mistakes owing to forget- fulness, that it has not unfrequently been a sort of fashion, and in truth a most foolish one, to imitate the defeft rather than the more admirable part of thdr charadler ; absurdly fancying the same absent manner might denote an equally abstrafted mind with that of the man, who, not having studied his part before hand, feels ashamed of his awkwardness as soon as he discovers it ; whilst his copyist, on the contrary, would be cruelly mortified if no one took notice of his blunders. f 245 ] Affefted absence of mind, and forgetfulness of present company, has frequently been displayed by young people, who have continued reading, that is, have kept the book in their hand, aftey several others were talking around, or perhaps to them ; but the sidelong glance to observe whether their employ- ment was remarked, has too clearly explained the artifice, for the sudden start, or eager exclamation of ** How long have you been there ?'* to take the desired effeft. Indeed the best method of repressing the pride attending on this very unpleasant afFefla- tion of absence, is by taking no manner of notice of a folly, which negleft punishes sufficiently, and which will die a natural death as soon as no one seems struck by it as a singularity. To boast of forgetfulness is in faft boasting of being extremely disagreeable and troublesome to all your acquaint- ance, wto cannot think you the more charming for constantly breaking an appointment: and the absence which makes a man put his gloves upon his head, and endeavour to thrust his hat into his pocket, is surely an effort of genius by no means desirable. If it be natural, it is a misfortune to be afflifted with so uncomfortable a malady ; and if it be mere aflfeftation, to make people stare, it is too despicable to provoke merriment. Ill I'll • f It I [ 246 ] Absence of mind, and forgetfulness of people and of customs, is certainly very likely to grow upon those, who, leading a retired or (though it sound at first contradictory) an employed life in some particular pursuit, consequently have not that interruption to their general train of thought, which must daily occur to others who mix in the busy scenes of society. Not meeting with circumstances that make strong impressions on their minds, their ideas must be con- fined to their own regular circle of occupation ; and when called by any accident out of their usual line, they cannot but be greatly at a loss how to join with ease to themselves or their friends in general conversation, on topics they scarcely understand, and not one of which probably raises the least interest in their mind. But is this comfortless shy creature an objeft worth imitation ? Even though the person in ques- tion were one of the most learned of men, bis abashed awkward sensations make him wish himself once more buried in his study ; where no ironical $miles would remind him of his confusion, and where nothing would recall to him, what he too sensibly feels when in company, the inconveniencies of habi- tual solitude, with the danger and imprudence of indulging an unlimited taste for retirement, and of contrading habits of quiet, which occasion misery r 247 ] when forced to change into the bustle which consti- tutes the pleasure of half the world. If such are the feelings of an absent man, is either absence or awkwardness worth affefting ? Is it civil, or is it worth while, to pour a glass of wine over a lady's gown, instead of placing it before her; and to give her the candlestick, if she ask for the sugar-basin, for the sake of hearing, " Lord ! you « you are so absent ?" Yet such things do happen ! # Riches SHEW In dress, in table, in every part of hodse- hold oeconoray, is to be observed in those who have themselves barely the necessaries of life, but who strain every nerve to make an appearance oa those days when they give their friends an entertain- ment. Affeftation of wealth pervades every rank, and is almost always to be found in that class of people who are most in want of the comforts and conveniences procured by the riches which they covet, and make belief to possess ; and it is vex- atious to observe bow many persons of good family, but reduced from the affluent incomes they once enjoyed, affeft indifference as to money, and careless- ness as to what is spent, thus most clearly marking how little they have to spend. But this foolish affectation is not confined to sta- tions, where to vie in splendour with constant com- panions, whose elegance has set the example, and whose magnificence having been partaken of, may plead some faint excuse for yielding to the temptation of appearing able to be equally fashionable : it is not the great alone who labour for the reputation of living in a great stile : there are various degrees of C ^49 ] ideal grandeur— what would be despised In one set, being admired in another ; and the desire of being thought rich, will on consideration be found to sink very low indeed. Pride in appearance, which Is in faft pride in riches, (since finery must be the produce of wealth,) occasions the affectation of it in much of the shabby finery so conspicuous in the dress of people in narrow circumstances ; who, with many an anxious contri- vance, endeavour to give their coarse muslin of i4d. per yard the air of an expensive one, and to make up their dyed or darned old clothes into shapes of the newe sttaste. The aft of oeconomy in convert- ing every thing to use as long as possible, is com- mendable ; but not the affefted vanity of wearing what is too expensive for a moderate station of life. The desire of shew may be traced to the very poorest people; witness the clothing of nearly beggars— a bonnet made of rags, but in a smart cut, and orna- ments of paper instead of ribbon j being not invented instances, but positive truths! I once knew a woman so far in distress that she was glad to receive a trifle as charity, who chose to keep her name of being well to pass by the following artifice ; which was discovered by answering, when she was one day questioned as to what had kept her from church — " Why, d'ye see, I expected some [ 250 ] •« friends in the evening, and it would have bcea *« odd, if it had seemed that I could leave cooking ; « so I did not go, that they might not say there « was no dinner dressed on a Sunday/* Another as strong mark of affefted riches I aftually saw in a cottager; who, when a lady gave a half-penny a-piece to each of his children, and one of the babies . ran up to him to shew the fine gift, sent the child from him with a look of disdain and anger, saying at the same time, " What dost bring it to me for ? « I doesn't want a halfpenny." He knew himself to be, though a labouring man, by no means in want, and felt offended by the donation, which seemed to imply in the inconsiderate giver an igno- rance of his real situation. Honest pleasure in well-acquired and well-spent riches is an allowable sensation ; but the attempt to pass for being rich, by affeaing more expense than js incurred, or by squandering more than is conve- nient, in order not to be outdone, (and yet is all the time regretted ;) is a meanness so very despicable, that it is sad to reflea how very commonly it is to. b^ met with. People in bad circumstances aflfe^ riches, to conceal the truth; but in the silly trial to deceive, usually reduce themselves to the positive poverty, of which they so much dreaded the very name ; but which, if not occasioned by inconsiderate vanity or I 251 3 imprudent condua, is surely not in itself the slightest disgrace ; and is a misfortune of which no one has more reason to be ashamed, than of any natural defeft of person, with which they may happen to be born, or are afterwards affliaed ; which, whilst it may possibly be the cause of both sorrow and incon- vienience, yet certainly ought never to raise a blush on any countenance belonging to a person endued with tolerable good-sense, or with that preservative from all lasting mortification — religious principle. I Poverty. POOR people, as has just been observed, fre- quently make a display of false affluence, whilst those who really possess it as often are guilty of the affeaation of poverty. Not at all wishing to be credited, how very common is, " Oh! I cannot aflford *' such things," from the lips of persons who say it only to be contradiaed ; and who, the more strongly to mark their expensive establishment and large income, are continually repeating their assurances of the necessity of retrenching; observing with a most self-satisfied air, that in these dear times one can :;|i ^-•t [ 232 ] only live in the most private manner ; and conse- quentially informing us that since the violent increase of taxes, they have already found it necessary to lay down one of their numerous carriages, and really have it in contemplation to dismiss three of four of their train of men-servants ! It would be happy if such affeftation of poverty, which is indeed ostentation of riches, sometimes met with ics due punishment, by creating a belief in the hearers, that some real loss has befallen the purse- proud fool, and that the distress which is so formally mentioned h as a foundation: but, [on the contrary, the people who utter these absurd complaints of nothing, are too often rewarded by gaining the adu- lation they sought after, and flattered by the obser- vations which are made of the greatness of their fortune, and of how little consequence any additional expense can be to them. The difference is next pointed out between them and some other acquaint- ance who is named, on the smallness of whose income much soi-disant good-natured pity is be- stowed, and much comparison made, which only serves still more tp fill up the measure of the poor rich person's vanity. Nor is this the only manner in which poverty is 'affefled ; the miser has frequent recourse to it, for the purpose of concealing the treasure which it is [ 253 ] his only pleasure to hoard, and then perhaps to leave tied up to accumulate for many years, before it shall devolve to some unknown heir, whose life will pro- bably never be extended to a span that can admit the possibility of his enjoying those sums, which never were useful to the original proprietor. Grudging to himself, and even to his dog, the common necessa- ries of life, the miser affefts his deceitful poverty to make up a sum, the name of which is all the satis- faftion he has ever knovm from it ; from which neither he nor any body else has ever profited, and for which no one will ever be obliged to him! clearly not during his life, and most probably not even after his death. What is left by will is seldom considered as a gift; and the ungrateful saying, " Why, he could not ** carry his money with him,*' is, although an un- feeling, not an unnatural observation ; particularly when the value and comfort of the legacy is so con- siderably lessened, as often happens by the narrow- mraded restriftions of the will that bequeaths it. Poverty is likewise, as we well know, most fre- quently and most wickedly affefted by the apparently wretched beggar, who riots in the charity his pre- tended misery has extorted from the benevolent band, which perhaps can but ill spare the relief it has bestowed ! This criminal deceit, it is true, steps 41' ♦.I if [ 254 ] far beyond the mean folly of affeflation, which is more to my present purpose. But whilst every body unites in detesting a fraud when it is so artfully praftised, and in so serious a manner, I wish they could be prevailed on to pay a little more attention to the absurdity of affefting to be poor, in order to remind the world of weafth ; and to refleft that con- science will inevitably call them to a strift account for every deceit that is ventured upon, be the subjeft ever so trifling. The slightest deviation from truth is a fault that seldom, if ever, escapes deteftion, with the consequent disgrace and punishment it so justly merits ; and which, however long it may be delayed, will not be the less certain, in this world, as well as 'm the next/ i\ Youth* TVTO one can live in this world, in a private or •*• ^ a public manner, no one can look into a place of amusement, or visit a parish workhouse, without perceiving innumerable instances of the inclination to be thought young, and of the affeftation of youth, tottering on the brink of the grave, and attending the most decrepid old-age to the last moments of existence! Youth is confessedly not in our power; and though we may struggle to detain the flying passenger, we all the time know how ineffeftual is the attempt; that all the paint and all tlie ar| of the most ingenious contriver cannot conceal the wrinkles of old-age; that the shewy gaudiness of dress cannot amend the withered figure, nor the affefted gaiety and frivolous chatter of threescore pass for the cheerfulness of twenty ! Impossible as it is to deceive in this point, it is surely most extraordinary, that having all had our share of youth, knowing we shall if we live, all have our share of age; yet we cannot rest satisfied with enjoying each at its proper season ; but almost all of us have already done so, or shall affeft and covet I l;H t Q56 ] ' » both these circumstances exaflly at the periods whetl ■we have not the slightest pretensions to them: for the child is ashamed of its youth ; and the old person of that age, which would be venerable, were it suf- fered to appear what it really is. But with a view to imitate what is unattainable, both the young and the old affeft the direft contrary from the existing fa^; and each incurs ridicule from the unavailing attempt. Although people may sometimes like to talk of their advanced years themselves, yet is almost every body offended if the term old, or if an allusion to age, be inadvertently applied to them. Thus the thoughtless speech sometimes made by a grand-child, ** Oh ! I fuppofe that happened an hundred years ** ago," is not unfrequently replied to with, * Not so * very old neither,' accompanied by a drawing up of displeasure, that marks the indiscretion which has been committed. We are told ttiat " the hoary ** head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way *^ of righteousness j "(Prov. xvi» 185) and when we do meet with it in its proper place, naturally feel all the refpect which is so justly its due: but none is or can be inspired by the grey head still anxiously striving to appear young, still visiting ail gay places of fashionable resort, and still endeavouring to cling to every frivolous pleasure ; which, though pardou- [ 257 ] able in youth, is so despicable in old age, that it joins indignation with the concern it is impossible not to feel, at finding no thoughts occupying the mind of the poor declining mortal, but such as are, alas! far from preparatory for the change so speedily to take place. There cannot be, I think, a stronger proof of the very prevalent fondness for youth, which belongs to every situation and time of life, than in the beha- viour of a woman who lived on charity. On peti- tioning for some additional relief from her parish, she was told by the person who was drawing up her case, that her age must be mentioned ; but seeming rather averse to disclose the important secret, and saying she never had known exaftly what it was, " Well," said the friend, who meant to assist her, *' we must make it all as bad as we can, consistently ** with truth ; so I may certainly very safely say. " fifty." « No, no. Ma'am,' interrupted the poor creature, with the greatest eagerness, < No, not so * bad as fifty ; I have been a-thinking, and am sure * I ben't more than forty-nine, and not quite half * neither.' This wretched woman was diseased, de- formed, and in the most abje(ft poverty ; yet felt the affeftation of youth as strongly as a fine lady, who puts on rouge, and multiplies ornaments, to conceal years that will not be concealed. s i II I '*i II t 258 ] ITie ludicrous characters of old beaux, or old beauties, are so perfeftly known, and have so often so well been exhibited on the stage, and so correftly drawn in various kinds of most excellent writings, that I am aware of treading on very beaten ground, when I at all venture to mention in a much humbler way the extreme folly of such affeftation. Yet though I acknowledge how much better the same ob- servations have been made long before me, 1 never- theless cannot resist the inclination of raising my additional voice against elderly youth \ and should feel highly gratified, could I suppose it possible, that I shall prevail on any one lady to bestow her whole stock of feathers and artificial flowers on her grand-daughter; or persuade any one old gentleman, instead of talking nonsense to girls who laugh at him, to join their mothers and aunts at the whi*- tablel Age. THE approaches even of Age are in general so dreaded, that it is never affefted except by the very young indeed, or by those people, who, having at« tained to a most extraordinary number of years, feel [ S55 3 on the score of singularity a pride in what is almost exclusively their own. So one has heard it reported of men who were wonders of old age, that they have aftually cheated a year or two in their account of themselves, in order to secure the reputation of mi-doing another remarkable instance of longevity ; and '^ not so old as me," is sometimes said with as much secret satisfadion as might have been felt by the same person forty or fifty years before, if mis- taken for one of twenty years younger! But in the same proportion as extreme old age is very rare, such instances of affeftationvery seldom occur. Circumstances of interest sometimes occasion an addition of more years than are true; but as that account is influenced by dififerent motives, it cannot (though it be deceit) come under the head of posi- tive afle£tation of age. But in childhood, our eager desire to be old outstrips even the fleeting moments of our life ; there is an ideal consequence belonging to every added year, which makes most children, if questioned as to their age, answer " going of ten," even though the birth-day which completed nine years happened only the day before. As they grow a little older, the dignity of being a year forwarder than their companions is often shewn by marks of affefted negleft; and " such a one is quite a baby," 1$ said with an air of contempt which would provoke [ 260 J laughter, did it not rather excite compassion for the little conceited creature, whose affeftation will so so soon change its ground. Nothing can exceed the striftness of government^ ind the pert womanly airs, assumed by a girl of thir- teen or fourteen, entrusted for a few hours with the care of others younger than herself j unless it be, the scornful condescension with which a boy of the same age deigns to notice a junior school-fellow, whom he chances to meet at a friend's house during holidays I and it must honestly be confessed, that the honour done by the notice is usually as gratefully recervecj 9$ it is superciliously conferred. Since increase of age then seems to bring with \% the privilege of making inferiors fully sensible of the existing difference in consequence y we can hardly wonder at the ardent desire for the period of va^n of womanhood, which is looked up to as a certain emancipation from government ! But the young lady who marries at sixteen, and fancies herself happy, because she can go out when she pleases without asking leave; and the young man, who at one and twenty begins, uncontrouled by guardians, to squander his estate according to his own taste ; will both of them probably soon discover that age alone will not insure freedom, and that disap;- pointment will shew itself in the unpleasant circun\- t 261 ] Stance of a husband's being vulgar enough to give advice, and moreover expefting it to be taken ; as also when creditors will be troublesome with their bills, . and enforce their payment in a disagreeable manner! This happy age^ which had been affefted before it arrived, and delighted in as soon as it came, bringing so little of the expefted pleasure with it, is soon dis- covered to be no longer worth assuming ; and very soon indeed does disappointed middle-age adopt the affeftation of youth which has just been noticed." For not to be satisfied with our present state, be it what it may, is a determination which seems uniyer- $ally the praftice of every rank and every period of life; and aflfeftation of somewhat foreign from the truth, the general rule of aftion by which the world agrees to be governed ; in open defiance of the com- mands to be content, delivered in the Bible, and of the precepts to that purpose to be met with in almost eyery book, whether grave or gay^ which may chance to be read. [ 263 ] WHETHER the readers of my little book will approve of my sentiments, or be tired of the Affec- tation which I have at last brought to a conclusion, it is not for me to pretend to foresee. This only I know, that fear of fatiguing attention (for which I am thankful to all those who have favoured me with travelling through to the end of observations which I acknowledge to be neither " new nor rare") has alone prevented my saying still more than I have done on many subjefls, which I have very much at heart: — most sincerely wishing for amendment in some of my young friends; and to guard others from follies, which I in my time have committed, grieved for when over, and therefore wish to place clearly before the eyes of those I would be glad to think of in a more perfeft light than I dare of myfelf. The instances I have introduced are all either striftly true, on my own personal knowledge, or related to me from such authority as admits of no doubt; and where any trifling variation occurs, with such foundation in trulh as to b^ nearly the same thing, changed only perhaps from the original n ;1 I 'I & I.. ^ £ 264 ] faft in some indifFerent point of time or place, quite immaterial to the story. Whether I shall have succeeded in serving or amusing any one of my readers, I know not ; but I have amused and so far served myself, that I have employed many a lonely hour in the chamber of sickness, which might have been gloomy, had it not been filled by writing the trifle, which I now submit to a less partial judgment than that of its author. rwis, Ci^Btcd by Biclurd C;uttwell, St. James'^-Strcet, Bath. iJM't \