I - 
 
 
 THE LIBRARY OF THE 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF 
 
 NORTH CAROLINA 
 
 AT CHAPEL HILL 
 
 PRESENTED BY 
 
 Betty Bell 
 
2j 
 
 
Digitized by the Internet Archive 
 
 in 2012 with funding from 
 
 University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/alicesadventures1901carr 
 
ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN 
 WONDERLAND 
 
 AND 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS AND 
 WHAT ALICE FOUND THERE 
 
 BY 
 
 LEWIS CARROLL. 
 
 PROFUSELY ILLUSTRATED BY JOHN TENNIEL 
 
 NEW YORK 
 
 HURST AND COMPANY 
 
 PUBLISHERS 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 I. Down the Rabbit-Hole 7 
 
 II. The Pool of Tears 16 
 
 III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale 26 
 
 IV. The Rabbit sends in a Little Bill 34 
 
 V. Advice from a Caterpillar 46 
 
 VI. Pig and Pepper 58 
 
 VII. A Mad Tea-Party 70 
 
 VIII. The Queen's Croquet-Ground 81 
 
 IX. The Mock Turtle's Story 92 
 
 X. The Lobster Quadrille 103 
 
 XL Who Stole the Tarts? 112 
 
 XII. Alice's Evidence 121 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS AND WHAT 
 ALICE FOUND THERE. 
 
 I. Looking-Glass House . 137 
 
 II. The Garden of Live Flowers 153 
 
 III. Looking-Glass Insects 165 
 
 IV. Tweedledum and Tweedledee 178 
 
 V. Wool and Water 193 
 
 / 
 
4 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 VI. Humpty Dumpty 206 
 
 VII. The Lion and th« Unicorn 220 
 
 VIII. " It's my own Invention " 232 
 
 IX. Queen Alice 249 
 
 X. Shaking 267 
 
 XI. Waking 2G9 
 
 XII. Which Dreamed It? 271 
 
All in the golden afternoon 
 
 Full leisurely we glide; 
 For both our oars, with little skill, 
 
 By little arms are plied, 
 While little hands make vain pretence 
 
 Our wonderings to guide. 
 
 Ah, cruel Three ! In such an hour, 
 Beneath such dreamv weather, 
 
 To beg a tale, of breath too weak 
 To stir the tiniest feather ! 
 
 Yet what can one poor voice avail 
 Against three tongues together ? 
 
 Imperious Prima flashes forth 
 
 Her edict to " begin it " — 
 In gentler tone Secunda hopes 
 
 " There will be nonsense in it " — 
 While Tertia interrupts the tale 
 
 JSTot more than once a minute. 
 
 Anon, to sudden silence won, 
 
 In fancy they pursue 
 The dream-child moving through a land 
 
 Of wonders wild and new, 
 In friendly chat with bird or beast — 
 
 And half believe it true. 
 
 5 
 
And ever, as the story drained 
 
 The wells of fancy dry, 
 And faintly strove that weary one 
 
 To put the subject by, 
 " The rest next time — " " It is next time ! " 
 
 The happy voices cry. 
 
 Thus grew the tale of Wonderland : 
 
 Thus slowly, one by one, 
 Its quaint events were hammered out — 
 
 And now the tale is done, 
 And home we steer, a merry crew, 
 
 Beneath the setting sun. 
 
 Alice ! a childish story take, 
 
 And with a gentle hand 
 Lay it where Childhood's dreams are twined 
 
 In Memory's mystic band, 
 Like pilgrim's withered wreath of flowers 
 
 Plucked in a far-off land. 
 
 6 
 
ALICE'S ADVENTUEES IN WONDEKLAND. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 DOWN" THE KABBIT-HOLE. 
 
 Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting 
 by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to 
 do : once or twice she had peeped into the book her 
 sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversa- 
 tions in it, " and what is the use of a book," thought 
 Alice, " without pictures or conversations ? " 
 
 So she was considering in her own mind, (as well as 
 she could, for the hot day made her feel very sleepy 
 and stupid,) whether the pleasure of making a daisy- 
 chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and 
 picking the daisies, when suddenly a white rabbit with 
 pink eyes ran close by her. 
 
 There was nothing so very remarkable in that ; nor 
 did Alice think it so very much out of the way to hear 
 the Rabbit say to itself, " Oh dear ! Oh dear ! I shall 
 be too late ! " (when she thought it over afterwards, it 
 occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, 
 but at the time it all seemed quite natural) ; but when 
 the Rabbit actually took a watch out of its waistcoat- 
 pocket, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice 
 started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that 
 she had never before seen a rabbit with either a waist- 
 coat-pocket or a watch to take out of it, and, burning 
 
 7 
 
ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and 
 was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit- 
 hole under the hedge. 
 
 In another moment down went Alice after it, never 
 once considering how in the world she was to get out 
 
 again. 
 
 The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for 
 some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so sud- 
 
 Wiin 
 
 
 if 
 
 dBBS 
 
 
 denly that Alice had not a moment to think about stop- 
 ping herself before she found herself falling down 
 what seemed to be a very deep well. 
 
 Either the well was very deep, or she fell very 
 slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went down 
 to look about her, and to wonder what was going to 
 happen next. First, she tried to look down and make 
 out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see 
 
DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. 9 
 
 anything: then she looked at the sides of the well, and 
 noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book- 
 shelves : here and there she saw maps and pictures 
 hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the 
 shelves as she passed ; it was labelled " ORANGE 
 MARMALADE," but to her great disappointment it 
 was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear 
 of killing somebody underneath, so managed to put it 
 into one of the cupboards as she fell past it. 
 
 " Well ! " thought Alice to herself, " after such a 
 fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling down- 
 stairs ! How brave they'll all think me at home ! Why, 
 I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the 
 top of the house! " (Which was very likely true.) 
 
 Down, down, down. Would the fall never come to 
 an end ? "I wonder how many miles I've fallen 
 by this time ? " she said aloud. " I must be getting 
 somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: 
 that would be four thousand miles down, I think — " 
 (for, you see, Alice had learnt several things of this 
 sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this 
 was not a very good opportunity for showing off her 
 knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, still 
 it was good practice to say it over) " — yes, that's about 
 the right distance — but then I wonder what Latitude 
 or Longitude I've got to? " (Alice had not the slight- 
 est idea what Latitude was, or Longitude either, but 
 she thought they were nice grand words to say.) 
 
 Presently she began again. " I wonder if I shall 
 fall right through the earth ! How funny it'll seem 
 to come out among the people that walk with their 
 heads downwards ! The Antipathies, I think — " (she 
 was rather glad there was no one listening this time, 
 as it didn't sound at all the right word) " — but I shall 
 have to ask them what the name of the country is, you 
 
10 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 know. Please, Ma'am, is this Xew Zealand or Aus- 
 tralia? " (and she tried to curtsy as she spoke — fancy 
 curtsying as you're falling through the air! Do you 
 think you could manage it ?) " And what an ignorant 
 little girl she'll think me for asking! Xo, it'll never 
 do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere." 
 
 Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, 
 so Alice soon began talking again. " Dinah'll miss me 
 very much to-night, I should think!' 1 (Dinah wis the 
 cat.) " I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk 
 at tea-time. Dinah, my dear! I wish you were down 
 here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm 
 afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very 
 like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I won- 
 der? ' And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and 
 went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, 
 " Do cats eat bats ? Do cats eat bats \ " and sometimes, 
 " Do bats eat cats ? " for, you see, as she couldn't an- 
 swer either question, it didn't much matter which way 
 she put it. She felt that she was dozing off, and had 
 just begun to dream that she was walking hand in 
 hand with Dinah, and was saying to her very earnestly, 
 " Xow, Dinah, tell me the truth : did you ever eat a 
 bat?" when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came 
 upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was 
 over. 
 
 Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up onto 
 her feet in a moment; she looked up, but it was all dark 
 overhead ; before her was another long passage, and 
 the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. 
 There was not a moment to be lost : away went Alice 
 like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as 
 it turned a corner, " Oh my ears and whiskers, how 
 late it's getting ! ' She was close behind it when she 
 turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be 
 
DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. 
 
 11 
 
 seen : she found herself in a long, low hall, which was 
 lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof. 
 
 There were doors all round the hall, but they were 
 all locked, and when Alice had been all the way down 
 one side and up the other, trying every door, she walked 
 sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever 
 to get out again. 
 
 Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, 
 all made of solid glass ; there was nothing on it but a 
 tiny golden key, and Alice's first idea was that this 
 
 might belong to one of the doors of the hall ; but alas ! 
 either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, 
 but at any rate it would not open any of them. How- 
 ever, on the second time round, she came upon a low 
 curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was 
 a little door about fifteen inches high : she tried the 
 little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it 
 fitted ! 
 
 Alice opened the door and found that it led into a 
 small passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she 
 
12 
 
 ALICES ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 knelt down and looked along the passage into the love- 
 liest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out 
 of that dark hall, and wander about among those beds 
 of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but she 
 could not even get her head through the doorway ; " and 
 even if my head would go through," thought poor 
 Alice, " it would be of very little use without my 
 shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a tele- 
 scope ! I think I could if I only knew how to begin." 
 
 For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had hap- 
 pened lately that Alice had begun to think that very 
 few things indeed were really impossible. 
 
 There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little 
 door, so she went back to the table, half hoping she 
 might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of 
 rules for shutting people up like telescopes ; this time 
 she found a little bottle on it, (" which certainly was 
 
DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. 13 
 
 not here before," said Alice,) and tied round the neck 
 of the bottle was a paper label with the words 
 " DRINK ME " beautifully printed on it in large 
 letters. 
 
 It was all very well to say " Drink me," but the 
 wise little Alice was not going to do that in a hurry : 
 " no, I'll look first," she said, " and see whether it's 
 marked * poison ' or not : " for she had read several 
 nice little stories about children who had got burnt, 
 and eaten up by wild beasts, and other unpleasant 
 things, all because they would not remember the simple 
 rules their friends had taught them, such as, that a 
 red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long ; 
 and that if you cut your finger very deeply with a 
 knife, it usually bleeds ; and she had never forgotten 
 that, if you drink much from a bottle marked " poison," 
 it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or 
 later. 
 
 However, this bottle was not marked " poison," so 
 Alice ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it 
 had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavor of cherry-tart, 
 custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffy, and hot buttered 
 toast,) she very soon finished it off. 
 
 w "X* w #T TV" 
 
 * * * * 
 
 ***** 
 
 " What a curious feeling ! " said Alice, " I must be 
 shutting up like a telescope." 
 
 And so it was indeed : she was now only ten inches 
 high, and her face brightened up at the thought that 
 she was now the right size for going through the little 
 door into that lovely garden. First, however, she 
 waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to 
 
14 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 shrink any further : she felt a little nervous about 
 this, " for it might end, you know," said Alice to her- 
 self, " in nry going out altogether, like a candle. I 
 wonder what I should be like then ? " And she tried 
 to fancy what the flame of a candle looks like after the 
 candle is blown out, for she could not remember ever 
 having seen such a thing. 
 
 After a while, finding that nothing more happe ied ? 
 she decided on going into the garden at once, but, : as! 
 for poor Alice! when she got to the door, she fouii-' she 
 had forgotten the little golden key, and when she went 
 back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly 
 reach it : she could see it quite plainly through the 
 glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the legs 
 of the table, but it was too slippery, and when she had 
 tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat 
 down and cried. 
 
 "Come, there's no use in crying like that!' 1 said 
 Alice to herself, rather sharply, " I advise you to leave 
 off this minute ! ' She generally gave herself very 
 good advice, (though she very seldom followed it,) and 
 sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring 
 tears into her eyes, and once she remembered trying to 
 box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game 
 of croquet she was playing against herself, for this cu- 
 rious child was very fond of pretending to be two peo- 
 ple. " But it's no use now," thought poor Alice, " to 
 pretend to be two people ! Why, there's hardly enough 
 of me left to make one respectable person ! ' 
 
 Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was ly- 
 ing under the table : she opened it, and found in it a 
 very small cake, on which the words " EAT ME ' : 
 were beautifully marked in currants. " Well, I'll eat 
 it," said Alice, " and if it makes me grow larger, I can 
 reach the key ; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can 
 
DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. 
 
 15 
 
 creep under the door ; so either way I'll get into the 
 garden, and I don't care which happens ! " 
 
 She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 
 " Which way ? Which way ? '' holding her hand on 
 the top of her head to feel which way it was growing, 
 and she was quite surprised to find that she remained 
 the same size: to be sure, this is what generally hap- 
 pens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much 
 into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way 
 things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid 
 for life to go on in the common way. 
 
 So she set to work, and very soon finished off the 
 cake. 
 
 * 
 
 ■» 
 
 * 
 
 * 
 
 * 
 
 * 
 
 -x- 
 
 * 
 
 ■* 
 
 ■» 
 
 * 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE POOL OF TEAKS. 
 
 " Cukiouser and euriouser!" cried Alice (she was 
 so much surprised, that for the moment she quite for- 
 got how to speak good English) ; " now I'm opening 
 out like the largest telescope that ever was ! Good-bye, 
 feet!' (for when she looked down at her feet, they 
 seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so 
 far off). " Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will 
 put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears ? 
 I'm sure / shan't be able ! I shall be a great deal 
 too far off to trouble myself about you ; you must man- 
 age the best way you can ; — but I must be kind to 
 them," thought Alice, " or perhaps they won't walk 
 the way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a 
 new pair of boots every Christmas." 
 
 And she went on planning to herself how she would 
 manage it. " They must go by the carrier," she 
 thought ; " and how funny it'll seem, sending presents 
 to one's own feet ! And how odd the directions will 
 look ! 
 
 Alice's Rigid Foot, Esq., 
 Hearthrug, 
 
 near the Fender, 
 
 (with Alice's love.) 
 
 Oh, dear, what nonsense I'm talking ! " 
 
 Just at this moment her head struck against the 
 roof of the hall: in fact, she was now rather more than 
 16 
 
THE POOL OF TEARS. 
 
 17 
 
18 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden 
 key and hurried off to the garden door. 
 
 Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying 
 down on one side, to look through into the garden 
 with one eye; but to get through was more hopeless 
 than ever: she sat down and began to cry again. 
 
 " You ought to be ashamed of yourself," said Alice, 
 " a great girl like yon," (she might well say this,) " to 
 go on crying in this way! Stop this moment, I tell 
 you ! ' But she went on all the same, shedding gallons 
 of tears, until there was a large pool all round her, 
 about four inches deep and reaching half down the hall. 
 
 After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in 
 the distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what 
 was coming. It was the White Rabbit returning, splen- 
 didly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in one 
 hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting 
 along in a great hurry, muttering to himself as he 
 came, " Oh ! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh, won't she 
 be savage if I've kept her waiting! ' Alice felt so des- 
 perate that she w r as ready to ask help of any one ; so, 
 when the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, 
 
 timid voice, " If you please, sir " The Rabbit 
 
 started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the 
 fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he 
 could go. 
 
 Alice took up the fan and gloves and, as the hall was 
 very hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she 
 went on talking : " Dear, dear ! How queer everything 
 is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. 
 I wonder if I've been changed in the night ? Let me 
 think: was I the same when I got up this morning? 
 I almost think I can remember feeling a little differ- 
 ent. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, 
 Who in the world am I ? Ah, that's the great puzzle ! " 
 
THE POOL OF TEARS. 19 
 
 And she began thinking over all the children she knew, 
 that were of the same age as herself to see if she could 
 have been changed for anv of them. 
 
 " I'm sure I'm not Ada," she said, " for her hair 
 goes in such long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ring- 
 
 lets, at all, and I'm sure I can't be Mabel, for I know 
 all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a very 
 little! Besides, she's she, and I'm I, and — oh dear, 
 how puzzling it all is ! I'll try if I know all the things 
 I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve, 
 and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is 
 
20 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 — oh dear ! I shall never e;et to twenty at that rate ! 
 However, the Multiplication Table don't signify: let's 
 try Geography. London is the capital of Paris, and 
 Paris is the capital of Rome, and Pome, no, that's all 
 wrong, I'm certain ! I must have been changed for 
 Mabel ! I'll try and say ' How doth the little — ' : ' and 
 she crossed her hands on her lap, as if she were saying 
 lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded 
 hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the 
 same as they used to do : — 
 
 " How doth the little crocodile 
 Improve his shining tail, 
 And pour the waters of the Nile 
 On every golden scale! 
 
 Hoiv cheerfully he seems to grin, 
 How neatly spreads his claws, 
 
 And welcomes little fishes in 
 With gently smiling jaws!" 
 
 " I'm sure those are not the right words," said poor 
 Alice, and her eves filled with tears again as she went 
 on, " I must be Mabel after all, and I shall have to 
 go and live in that poky little house, and have next 
 to no tovs to play with, and oh ! ever so many lessons 
 to learn ! Xo, I've made up my mind about it : if 
 I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here ! It'll be no use their 
 putting their heads down and saying, ' Come up again, 
 dear ! ' I shall only look up and say, ' Who am I, then ? 
 Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, 
 I'll come up : if not, I'll stay down here till I'm some- 
 body else ' — but, oh dear! " cried Alice, with a sudden 
 burst of tears, " I do wish they would put their heads 
 down ! I am so very tired of being all alone here ! ' 
 
 As she said this, she looked down at her hands, and 
 
THE POOL OF TEARS. o} 
 
 was surprised to see that she had put on one of the 
 Rabbit's little white kid gloves while she was talking. 
 " How can I have done that % " she thought " I must 
 be growing small again." She got up and went to the 
 table to measure herself by it, and found that, as nearly 
 as she could guess, she was now about two feet high, 
 and was going on shrinking rapidly; she soon found 
 out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding, 
 and she dropped it hastily, just in time to save herself 
 from shrinking away altogether. 
 
 " That was a narrow escape ! ' ' said Alice, a good 
 deal frightened at the sudden change, but very glad to 
 find herself still in existence ;, " and now for the gar- 
 den ! "and she ran with all speed back to the little 
 door : but alas ! the little door was shut again, and the 
 little golden key was lying on the glass table as be- 
 fore, " and things are worse than ever," thought the 
 poor child, " for I never was so small as this before, 
 never ! And I declare it's too bad, that it is ! ' 
 
 As she said these words her foot slipped, and in 
 another moment, splash ! she was up to her chin in salt 
 water. Her first idea was that she had somehow fallen 
 into the sea, " and in that case I can go back by rail- 
 way," she said to herself. (Alice had been to the sea- 
 side once in her life, and had come to the general con- 
 clusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast 
 you find a number of bathing machines in the sea, some 
 children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then 
 a row of lodging houses, and behind them a railway 
 station. However, she soon made out that she. was in 
 the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine 
 feet high. 
 
 " I wish I hadn't cried so much ! " said Alice, as 
 she swam about, trying to find her way out. " I shall 
 be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in 
 
22 
 
 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 mj own tears ! That will be a queer thing, to be sure ! 
 However, everything is queer to-day." 
 
 Just then she heard something splashing about in 
 the pool a little way off, and she swam nearer to make 
 out what it was: at first, she thought it must be a 
 walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how 
 small she was now, and she soon made out that it was 
 only a mouse, that had slipped in like herself. 
 
 " Would it be of any use, now," thought Alice, " to 
 speak to this mouse ? Everything is so out-of-the-way 
 down here, that I should think very likely it can talk: 
 
 at any rate there's no harm in trying." So she began : 
 "O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? 
 I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse ! ' 
 (Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking 
 to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, 
 but she remembered having seen in her brother's Latin 
 Grammar, " A mouse— of a mouse — to a mouse — a 
 mouse — O mouse! ") The Mouse looked at her rather 
 inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its 
 little eves, but it said nothing. 
 
 " Perhaps it doesn't understand English," thought 
 
THE POOL OF TEARS. 23 
 
 Alice; " I daresay it's a French mouse, come over with 
 William the Conqueror." (For, with all her knowl- 
 edge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how 
 long ago anything had happened.) So she began again: 
 " Ou est ma chatte ? " which was the first sentence in 
 her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden 
 leap out of the water, and seemer to quiver all over 
 with fright. " Oh, I beg your pardon ! " cried Alice, 
 hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feel- 
 ings. " I quite forgot you didn't like cats." 
 
 " ~Not like cats ! " cried the Mouse, in a shrill, pas- 
 sionate voice. " Would you like cats if you were me ? " 
 
 " Well, perhaps not," said Alice, in a soothing tone : 
 " don't be angry about it. And yet I wish I could show 
 you our cat Dinah : I think you'd take a fancy to cats 
 if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet 
 thing," Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam 
 lazily about in the pool, " and she sits purring so nicely 
 by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face — and 
 she is such a nice soft thing to nurse — and she's such 
 a capital one for catching mice — oh, I beg your par- 
 don ! ' : cried Alice again, for this time the Mouse 
 was bristling all over, and she felt certain it must be 
 really offended. " We won't talk about her any more 
 if you'd rather not." 
 
 " We, indeed ! " cried the Mouse, who was trembling 
 down to the end of his tail. " As if I would talk on 
 such a subject! Our family always hated cats: nasty, 
 low, vulgar things ! Don't let me hear the name 
 again ! " 
 
 " I won't indeed ! " said Alice, in a great hurry to 
 change the subject of conversation. " Are you — are 
 you fond — of — of dogs ? " The mouse did not answer, 
 so Alice went on eagerly : " There is such a nice little 
 dog near our house I should like to show you ! A 
 
24 
 
 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh ! such long 
 curly, brown hair ! And it'll fetch things when you 
 throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and 
 all sorts of things — I can't remember half of them — 
 and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it's 
 so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! lie says it 
 kills all the rats and — oh dear! " cried Alice, in a sor- 
 rowful tone. ''I'm afraid I've offended it again!* 
 
 For the Mouse was swimming awav from her as hard 
 as it could go, and making quite a commotion in the 
 pool as it went. 
 
 So she called softlv after it: "Mouse, dear! Do 
 come back again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs, 
 either, if you don't like them ! ' When the Mouse 
 heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to 
 her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice 
 thought), and it said in a low, trembling voice, " Let 
 us get to the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, 
 and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs." 
 
 It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite 
 
THE POOL OF TEARS. 
 
 25 
 
 crowded with the birds and animals that had fallen into 
 it : there was a Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an 
 Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led 
 the way, and the whole party swam to the shore. 
 
CHAPTER III.' 
 
 A CAECUS-RACE AXD A LOXG TALE. 
 
 They were indeed a queer-looking party that as- 
 sembled on the bank — the birds with draggled feathers, 
 the animals -with their fur clingina; close to them, and 
 all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. 
 
 The first question of course was, how to got dry 
 again : thev had a consultation about this, and after 
 a few minutes it seemed quite natural to Alice to find 
 herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had 
 known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a 
 lon<r argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, 
 and would only sav, " I am older than vou, and must 
 know better;" and this xVlice would not allow, with- 
 out knowing how old it was, and as the Lory posi- 
 tively refused to tell its age, there was no more to be 
 said. 
 
 26 
 
A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 27 
 
 At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of 
 some authority among them, called out, " Sit down, all 
 of you, and listen to me ! I'll soon make you dry 
 enough ! ' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, 
 with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes 
 anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch 
 a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon. 
 
 " Ahem ! " said the Mouse, with an important air, 
 " are you all ready ? This is the driest thing I know. 
 Silence all round, if you please ! ' William the Con- 
 queror, whose cause was favored by the pope, was 
 soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, 
 and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation 
 and conquest. EdAvin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia 
 and Xorthumbria — ' " 
 
 " Ugh ! " said the Lory, with a shiver. 
 
 " I beg your pardon ? ' : ' said the Mouse, frowning, 
 "but very politely : " Did you speak ? " 
 
 " Kot I ! " said the Lory, hastily. 
 
 " I thought you did," said the Mouse. — " I proceed. 
 ' Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and ISTorth- 
 umbria, declared for him ; and even Stigand, the pa- 
 triotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advis- 
 able—' " 
 
 " Found what? " said the Duck. 
 
 " Eound it" the Mouse replied, rather crossly : " of 
 course you know what ' it ' means." 
 
 " I know what ' it ' means well enough when I find 
 a thing," said the Duck : " it's generally a frog or a 
 worm. The question is, what did the archbishop 
 find ? " 
 
 The Mouse did not notice this question, but hur- 
 riedly went on, " ' — found it advisable to go with Ed- 
 gar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown. 
 William's conduct at first was moderate. But the 
 
s 
 
 2S ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 insolence of his Xormans — ' How are yon getting on 
 now, my dear?' 1 it continued, turning to Alice as it 
 poke. 
 
 ' As wet as ever," said Alice, in a melancholy tone: 
 " it, doesn't seem to dry me at all." 
 
 " In that case," said the Dodo, solemnly, rising to its 
 feet, " I move that the meeting adjourn, for the imme- 
 diate adoption of more energetic remedies — " 
 
 " Speak English ! " said the Eaglet. " I don't know 
 the meaning of half those long words, and what's 
 more, I don't believe vou do either ! ' And the Eaglet 
 bent down its head to hide a smile : some of the other 
 birds tittered audibly. 
 
 " What I was going to say," said the Dodo, in an 
 offended tone, " was, that the best thing to get us dry 
 would be a Caucus-race." 
 
 " What is a Caucus-race ? " said Alice ; not that she 
 much wanted to know, but the Dodo had paused as if 
 it thought that somebody ought to speak, and no one 
 else seemed inclined to say anything. 
 
 " Why," said the Dodo, " the best way to explain 
 it is to do it." (And as you might like to try the thing 
 yourself, some winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo 
 managed it.) 
 
 First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, 
 (" the exact shape doesn't matter," it said,) and then 
 all the party were placed along the course, here and 
 there. There was no " One, two, three, and away," 
 but they began running when they liked, and left off 
 when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when 
 the race was over. However, when they had been run- 
 ning half-an-hour or so, and were quite dry again, the 
 Dodo suddenly called out, " The race is over ! ' ' and 
 they all crowded round it, panting, and asking, " But 
 who has won ? " 
 
A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 
 
 29 
 
 This question the Dodo could not answer without a 
 great deal of thought, and it sat for a long time with 
 one finger pressed upon its forehead, (the position in 
 which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of 
 him,) while the rest waited in silence. At last the 
 Dodo said, " Everybody has won, and all must have 
 prizes." 
 
 
 " But who is to give the prizes ? " quite a chorus of 
 voices asked. 
 
 " Why, site, of course," said the Dodo, pointing to 
 Alice with one finger; and the whole party at once 
 crowded round her, calling out in a confused way, 
 " Prizes ! Prizes ! " 
 
30 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put 
 her hand into her pocket, and pulled out a box of com- 
 fits, (luckily the salt water had not got into it,) and 
 handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one 
 a-piece, all round. 
 
 " But she must have a prize herself, you know," said 
 the Mouse. 
 
 " Of course," the Dodo replied, very gravely. " What 
 else have you got in your pocket ? " he went on, turning 
 to Alice. 
 
 " Only a thimble," said Alice, sadly. 
 
 " Hand it over here," said the Dodo. 
 
 Then they all crowded round her once more, while 
 the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying, " We 
 beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble ; ' and, 
 when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered. 
 
 Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they 
 all looked so grave that she did not dare to laugh, and 
 as she could not think of anything to say, she simply 
 bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she 
 could. 
 
 The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused 
 some noise and confusion, as the large birds complained 
 that they could not taste theirs, and the small ones 
 choked and had to be patted on the back. However, it 
 was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, 
 and besrged the Mouse to tell them something more. 
 
 " You promised to tell me your history, you know," 
 said Alice, " and why it is vou hate — C and D," she 
 added in a whisper, half afraid that it would be of- 
 fended again. 
 
 " Mine is a long and sad tale ! " said the Mouse, 
 turning to Alice, and sighing. 
 
 " It is a long tail, certainly," said Alice, looking 
 down with wonder at the Mouse's tail; "but why do 
 
A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 31 
 
 you call it sad ? " And she kept on puzzling about it 
 while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the 
 tale was something like this : • 
 
 « Fury said to 
 
 a mouse, That 
 he met in 
 the house, 
 ' Let us 
 both go 
 to law : 
 7 will 
 prosecute 
 you. — 
 Come, I'll 
 take no 
 denial ; 
 We must 
 
 have a trial : 
 
 For really 
 this morning 
 I've 
 nothing 
 to do.' 
 Said the 
 mouse to 
 the cur, 
 
 ' Such a trial, 
 dear sir, 
 With no 
 jury or 
 judge, 
 would be 
 wasting 
 
 our breath. 
 I'll be 
 judge, 
 I'll be 
 jury,' Said 
 cunning 
 old Fury; 
 4 I'll try 
 
 the whole 
 cause 
 and 
 condemn 
 you 
 to 
 death.' 
 
32 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 " You are not attending! " said the Mouse to Alice, 
 severely. " What are you thinking of ? " 
 
 " I beg your pardon," said Alice, very humbly : 
 " you had got to the fifth bend, I think ? " 
 
 "I had not!'' cried the Mouse, sharply and very 
 angrily. 
 
 " A knot! " said Alice, always ready to make herself 
 useful, and looking anxiously about her. " Oh, do let 
 me help to undo it ! " 
 
 " I shall do nothing of the sort," said the Mouse, 
 getting up and walking away. " You insult me by 
 talking such nonsense ! " 
 
 "I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. "But 
 you're so easily offended, you know ! " 
 
 The Mouse only growled in reply. 
 
 "Please come back, and finish your story!" Alice 
 called after it; and the others all joined in chorus, 
 " Yes, please do ! " hut the Mouse only shook its head 
 impatiently, and walked a little quicker. 
 
 " What a pity it wouldn't stay ! " sighed the Lory, 
 as soon as it was quite out of sight ; and an old crab 
 took the opportunity of saying to her daughter, " Ah, 
 mv dear ! Let this be a lesson to vou never to lose 
 your temper!" "Hold your tongue, Ma!" said the 
 young crab, a little snappishly. " You're enough to try 
 the patience of an oyster ! " 
 
 " I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do ! " said 
 Alice aloud, addressing nobody in particular. " She'd 
 soon fetch it back ! " 
 
 " And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the 
 question % " said the Lory. 
 
 Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to 
 talk about her pet. " Dinah's our cat. And she's such 
 a capital one for catching mice, you can't think ! And 
 
A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 3£ 
 
 oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, 
 she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it ! " 
 
 This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the 
 party. Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old 
 magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, re- 
 marking, " I really must be getting home ; the night 
 air doesn't suit my throat! " and a canary called out 
 in a trembling voice to its children, " Come away, my 
 dears ! It's high time you were all in bed ! " On va- 
 rious pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon 
 left alone. 
 
 '' I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah ! " she said to 
 herself in a melancholy tone. " Nobody seems to like 
 her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best cat in the 
 world ! Oh, my dear Dinah ! I wonder if I shall ever 
 see you any more ! ' And here poor Alice began to 
 cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In 
 a little while, however, she again heard a little patter- 
 ing of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up 
 eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his 
 mind and was coming back to finish his story. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 THE RABBIT SENDS IX A LITTLE BILL. 
 
 It was the "White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, 
 and looking; anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost 
 something; and she heard it muttering to itself, " The 
 Duchess ! The Duchess ! Oh. my dear paws ! Oh, my 
 fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as 
 ferrets are ferrets! Where can I have dropped them, 
 I wonder ! v Alice guessed in a moment that it was 
 looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, 
 and she very a'ood-naturedlv began hunting about for 
 them, but thev were nowhere to be seen — everything 
 seemed to have changed since her swim in the pool, 
 and the great hall, with the glass table and the little 
 door, had vanished completely. 
 
 Very soon the Rabbit noticed xVliee, as she went 
 hunting about, and called out to her in an angry tone, 
 " WTiy, Mary Ann, what are you doing out here ( Run 
 home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a 
 fan ! Quick, now ! " And Alice was so much fright- 
 ened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed 
 to, without trying to explain the mistake that it had 
 made. 
 
 " He took me for his housemaid," she said to her- 
 self as she ran. " How surprised he'll be when he finds 
 out who I am ! But I'd better take him his fan and 
 gloves — that is, if I can find them." As she said this, 
 she came upon a neat little house, on the door of which 
 34 
 
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 35 
 
 was a bright brass plate with the name " W. RAB- 
 BIT/' engraved upon it. She went in without knock- 
 ing, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should 
 meet the real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the 
 house before she had found the fan and gloves. 
 
 " How queer it seems," Alice said to herself, " to 
 be going messages for a rabbit ! I suppose Dinah'll be 
 
 sending me on messages next ! " And she began fancy- 
 ing the sort of thing that would happen : " ' Miss Alice I 
 Come here directly, and get ready for your walk ! y 
 ' Coming in a minute, nurse ! But I've got to watch 
 this mouse-hole till Dinah comes back, and see that 
 the mouse doesn't get out.' Only I don't think," Alice 
 went on, " that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it 
 began ordering people about like that ! " 
 
 By this time she had found her way into a tidy little 
 room with a table in the window, and on it (as she had 
 hoped) a fan and two or three pairs of tiny white kid 
 
36 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 gloves : she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, 
 and was just going to leave the room when her eye fell 
 upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass. 
 There was no label this time with the words " DRINK 
 ME," but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her 
 lips. " I know something interesting is sure to hap- 
 pen," she said to herself, " whenever I eat or drink 
 anything ; so I'll just see what this bottle does. I do 
 hope it'll make me grow large again, for really I'm 
 quite tired of being such a tiny little thing ! " 
 
 It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had ex- 
 pected : before she had drunk half the bottle, she found 
 her head pressing against the ceiling, and had to stoop 
 to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put 
 down the bottle, saying to herself, " That's quite enough 
 — I hope I shan't grow any more — As it is, I can't get 
 out at the door — I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so 
 much ! " 
 
 Alas ! It was too late to wish that ! She went on 
 growing and growing, and very soon had to kneel down 
 on the floor : in another minute there was not even room 
 for this, and she tried the effect of lying down, with one 
 elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round 
 her head. Still she went on growing, and, as a last re- 
 source, she put one arm out of the window, and one 
 foot up the chimney, and said to herself, " Now, I 
 can do no more, whatever happens. What will become 
 of me ? " 
 
 Luckily fof Alice, the little magic bottle had now had 
 its full effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very 
 uncomfortable, and, as there seemed to be no sort of 
 chance of her ever getting out of the room again, no 
 wonder she felt unhappy. 
 
 " It was much pleasanter at home," thought poor 
 Alice, " when one wasn't always growing larger and 
 
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 37 
 
 smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. 
 I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole — 
 and yet — and yet — it's rather curious, you know, this 
 sort of life ! I do wonder what can have happened to 
 me ! When I used to read fairy tales, I fancied that 
 kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in 
 the middle of one ! There ought to be a book written 
 about me, that there ought ! And when I grow up, I'll 
 write one — but I'm grown up now," she added in a 
 sorrowful tone : " at least there's no room to grow up 
 any more here." 
 
 " But, then," thought Alice, " shall I never get any 
 older than I am now ? That'll be a comfort, one way — 
 never to be an old woman — but then — always to have 
 lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like that!" 
 
 " Oh, you foolish Alice ! " she answered herself. 
 " How can you learn lessons in here ? Why, there's 
 hardly room for you, and no room at all for any lesson 
 books'! " 
 
 And so she went on, taking first one side and then 
 the other, and making quite a conversation of it alto- 
 gether, but after a few minutes she heard a voice out- 
 side, and stopped to listen. 
 
 " Mary Ann ! Mary Ann ! " said the voice, " fetch 
 me my gloves this moment ! " Then came a little pat- 
 tering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was the 
 Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till 
 she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was now 
 about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had 
 no reason to be afraid of it. 
 
 Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried 
 to open it, but as the door opened inwards, and Alice's 
 elbow was pressed hard against it, that attempt proved 
 a failure. Alice heard it say to itself, " Then I'll go 
 round and get in at the window." 
 
38 
 
 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 " That you won't ! " thought Alice, and, after wait- 
 ing till she fancied she heard the Habit just under the 
 window, she suddenly spread out her hand, and made 
 a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, 
 but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash 
 of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was 
 just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or 
 something of the sort. 
 
 
 Next came an angry voice — the Rabbit's — "Pat! 
 Pat! Where are you ? " and then a voice she had never 
 heard before, " Sure, then, I'm here ! Digging for ap- 
 ples, yer honor ! " 
 
 " Digging for apples, indeed ! " said the Rabbit, an- 
 grily. "Here! Come and help me out of this!' 
 (Sounds of more broken glass.) 
 
 " Now, tell me, Pat, what's that in the window ? " 
 
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 39 
 
 " Sure, it's an arm, yer honor ! " (He pronounced 
 it " arrum.") 
 
 " An arm, you goose ! Who ever saw one that size ? 
 Why, it fills the whole window ! " 
 
 " Sure, it does, yer honor : but it's an arm for all 
 that." 
 
 " Well, it's got no business there, at any rate : go and 
 take it awav ! " 
 
 There was a long silence after this, and Alice could 
 only hear whispers now and then, such as, " Sure, I 
 don't like it, yer honor, at all, at all ! " " Do as I tell 
 you, you coward ! " and at last she spread out her hand 
 again and made another snatch in the air. This time 
 there were two little shrieks, and more sounds of broken 
 glass. " What a number of cucumber frames there 
 must be ! " thought Alice. " I wonder what they'll 
 do next ! As for pulling me out of the window, I only 
 wish they could. I'm sure I don't want to stay in 
 here any longer ! " 
 
 She waited for some time without hearing anything 
 more : at last came a rumbling of little cart-wheels, and 
 the sound of a good many voices all talking together: 
 she made out the words, " Where's the other ladder ? 
 — Why, I hadn't to bring but one : Bill's got the other 
 — Bill fetch it here, lad ! — Here, put 'em up at this 
 corner — jSTo, tie 'em together first — thev don't reach 
 half high enough yet — Oh! they'll do well enough; 
 don't be particular — Here, Bill ! catch hold of this rope 
 — Will the roof bear ? — Mind that loose slate — Oh, 
 it's coming down! Heads below!" (a loud crash) — 
 " 'Now, who did that ? — It was Bill, I fancy — Who's to 
 go down the chimney? — Nay, / shan't! You do it! — 
 That I won't, then ! — Bill's got to go down — Here, 
 Bill ! the master says you've got to go down the chim- 
 nev!" 
 
40 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 41 
 
 " Oh, so Bill's got to come down the chimney, has 
 he ? " said Alice, to herself. " Why, they seem to put 
 everything upon Bill ! I wouldn't be in Bill's place 
 for a good deal : this fireplace is narrow, to be sure, 
 but I think I can kick a little ! " 
 
 She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she 
 could, and waited till she heard a little animal (she 
 couldn't guess of what sort it was) scratching and 
 scrambling about in the chimney close above her : then, 
 saying to herself, " This is Bill," she gave one sharp 
 kick, and waited to see what would happen next. 
 
 The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 
 " There goes Bill ! " then the Rabbit's voice alone, 
 " Catch him, you by the hedge ! " then silence, and then 
 another confusion of voices — " Hold up his head — 
 Brandy now — Don't choke him — How was it, old fel- 
 low ? What happened to you % Tell us all about it ! " 
 
 Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (" That's 
 Bill," thought Alice,) "Well, I hardly know — No 
 more, thank'ye, I'm better now — but I'm a deal too 
 flustered to tell you — all I know is, something comes 
 at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky- 
 rocket ! " 
 
 " So vou did, old fellow ! " said the others. 
 
 " We must burn the house down ! " said the Bab- 
 bit's voice, and Alice called out as loud as she could, 
 " If you do, I'll set Dinah at you ! " 
 
 There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought 
 to herself, " I wonder what they will do next ! If they 
 had any sense, they'd take the roof off." After a min- 
 ute or two they began moving about again, and Alice 
 heard the Rabbit say, " A barrowful will do, to be- 
 gin with." 
 
 " A barrowful of what? " thought Alice; but she had 
 not long to doubt, for the next moment a shower of lit- 
 
42 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 tie pebbles came rattling in at the window, and some of 
 them hit her in the face. " I'll put a stop to this," she 
 said to herself, and shouted out, " You'd better not do 
 that again ! " which produced another dead silence. 
 
 Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles 
 were all turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, 
 and a bright idea came into her head. " If I eat one of 
 these cakes," she thought, " it's sure to make some 
 change in my size : and as it can't possibly make me 
 larger, it must make me smaller, I suppose." 
 
 So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted 
 to find that she began shrinking directly. As soon as 
 she was small enough to get through the door, she ran 
 out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little ani- 
 mals and birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, 
 Bill, was in the middle, being held up by two guinea- 
 pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. 
 They all made a rush at Alice the moment she ap- 
 peared, but she ran off as hard as she could, and soon 
 found herself safe in a thick wood. 
 
 " The first thing I've got to do," said Alice to her- 
 self, as she wandered about in the wood, " is to grow 
 to my right size again ; and the second thing is to find 
 my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be 
 the best plan." 
 
 It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very 
 neatly and simply arranged ; the only difficulty was. 
 that she had not the smallest idea how to set about it ; 
 and while she was peering about anxiously among the 
 trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her 
 look up in a great hurry. 
 
 An enormous puppy was looking down at her with 
 large round eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, 
 trying to touch her. " Poor little thing ! " said Alice, 
 in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it, 
 
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 43 
 
 but she was terribly frightened all the time at the 
 thought that it might be hungry, in which ease it would 
 be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing. 
 Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little 
 bit of stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon 
 the puppy jumped into the air off all its feet at once, 
 •with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, and 
 made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a 
 great thistle, to keep herself from being run over, and, 
 
44 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy 
 made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over 
 heels in its hurry to get hold of it ; then Alice, think- 
 ing it was very like having a game of play with a 
 cart horse, and expecting every moment to be trampled 
 under its feet, ran round the thistle again; then the 
 puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, run- 
 ning a very little way forward each time and a long 
 way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at 
 last it sat down a good way off, panting, with its tongue 
 hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half 
 shut. 
 
 This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making 
 her escape, so she set off at once, and ran till she was 
 quite tired and out of breath, and till the puppy's 
 bark sounded quite faint in the distance. 
 
 "And yet what a dear little puppy it was!" said 
 Alice, as she leant against a buttercup to rest herself, 
 and fanned herself with one of the leaves; "I should 
 nave liked teaching it tricks very much, if — if I'd 
 only been the right size to do it ! Oh, dear ! I'd nearly 
 forgotten that I've got to grow up again ! Let me see — ■ 
 how is it to be managed I I suppose I ought to eat or 
 drink something or other; but the great question is, 
 what ? " 
 
 The great question certainly was, what ? Alice looked 
 all round her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but 
 she could not see anything that looked like the right 
 thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. There 
 was a large mushroom growing near her, about the 
 same height as herself, and when she had looked under 
 it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to 
 her that she might as well look and see what was on 
 the top of it. 
 
 She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over 
 
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 
 
 45 
 
 the edge of the mushroom, and her eyes immediately 
 met those of a large blue caterpillar, that was sitting 
 on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking 
 a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of 
 her or of anything else. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 
 
 The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for 
 some time in silence : at last the Caterpillar took the 
 hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a lan- 
 guid, sleepy voice. 
 
 "Who are you?" said the Caterpillar. 
 
 This was not an encouraging opening for a conver- 
 sation. Alice replied, rather shyly, " I — I hardly 
 46 
 
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 47 
 
 know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was 
 when I got up this morning, but I think I must have 
 been changed several times since then." 
 
 " What do you mean by that ? ' : said the Cater- 
 pillar, sternly. " Explain yourself ! " 
 
 " I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, sir," said Alice, 
 " because I'm not myself, you see." 
 
 " I don't see," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 " I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly," Alice re- 
 plied, very politely, " for I can't understand it myself 
 to begin with ; and being so many different sizes in a 
 day is very confusing." 
 
 " It isn't," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 " Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet," said 
 Alice ; " but when you have to turn into a chrysalis — 
 you will some day, you know — and then, after that, into 
 a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer,, 
 won't you ? " 
 
 " Not a bit," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 " Well, perhaps your feelings may be different," 
 said Alice ; " all I know is, it would feel very queer to* 
 me. 
 
 " You ! ' said the Caterpillar, contemptuously r 
 "Whoareyow?" 
 
 Which brought them back again to the beginning 
 of the conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the 
 Caterpillar's making such very short remarks, and she 
 drew herself up and said, very gravely, " I think you 
 ought to tell me who you are, first." 
 
 " Why ? " said the Caterpillar. 
 
 Here was another puzzling question ; and, as Alice 
 could not think of any good reason, and, as the Cater- 
 pillar seemed to be in a very unpleasant state of mind r 
 she turned away. 
 
48 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 " Come back ! " the Caterpillar called after her. 
 " I've something important to say ! " 
 
 This sonnded promising, certainly: Alice turned and 
 came back again. 
 
 " Keep your temper," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 " Is that all ? " said Alice, swallowing down her an- 
 ger as well as she could. 
 
 "No," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had 
 nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell 
 her something worth hearing. For some minutes it 
 puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded 
 its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and 
 said, " So you think you're changed, do you ? ' 
 
 " I'm afraid I am, sir," said Alice, " I can't remem- 
 ber things as I used — and I don't keep the same size 
 for ten minutes together ! " 
 
 " Can't remember what things % " said the Caterpil- 
 lar. 
 
 " Well, I've tried to say, ' How doth the little busy 
 bee,' but it all came different ! " Alice replied, in a 
 very melancholy voice. 
 
 "Repeat ' You are old, Father William,' ' said the 
 Caterpillar. 
 
 Alice folded her hands, and began : — 
 
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 
 
 49 
 
 " You are old, father William" the young man. said, 
 "And your hair has become very white; 
 
 And yet you incessantly stand on your head — 
 Do you think, at your age, it is right? " 
 
 " In my youth," father William replied to his son, 
 "I feared it might injure the brain; 
 
 But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none. 
 Why, I do it again and again." 
 
50 
 
 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 " You are old," said the youth, " as I mentioned before, 
 And have grown most uncommonly fat; 
 
 Yet yon turned a bach-somersault in at the door — 
 Pray, what is the reason of that!" 
 
 " In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey lochs, 
 
 " I hept all my limbs very supple 
 By the use of this ointment — one shilling the box — 
 
 'Allow me to sell you a couple" 
 
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 
 
 51 
 
 '' You are old," said the youth, " and your jaws are too 
 weak 
 
 For anything tougher than suet; 
 Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak; 
 
 Pray, how did you manage to do it? " 
 
 " In my youth," said his father, " I took to the law, 
 
 And argued each case with my wife; 
 And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, 
 
 Has lasted the rest of my life." 
 
52 
 
 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 ' You are old," said the youth; " one would hardly sup- 
 pose 
 
 That your eye was as steady as ever; 
 Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose — 
 
 What made you so awfully clever?" 
 
 ' I have answered three questions, and that is enough/ 
 Said his father; " don't give yourself airs! 
 
 Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? 
 Be off, or I'll hick you downstairs!" 
 
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 53 
 
 u 
 
 That is not said right," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 " Not quite right, I'm afraid," said Alice, timidly ; 
 " some of the words have got altered." 
 
 " It is wrong from beginning to end," said the Cat' 
 erpillar, decidedly, and there was silence for some min- 
 utes. 
 
 The Caterpillar was the first to speak. 
 
 " What size do you want to be ? " it asked. 
 
 " Oh, I'm not particular as to size," Alice hastily re- 
 plied ; " only one doesn't like changing so often, you 
 know." 
 
 " I don't know," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 Alice said nothing: she had never been so much 
 contradicted in all her life before, and she felt that she 
 was losing her temper. 
 
 " Are you content now ? " said the Caterpillar. 
 
 " Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, if you 
 wouldn't mind," said Alice : " three inches is such a 
 wretched height to be." 
 
 " It is a very good height, indeed ! " said the Cater- 
 pillar, angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it 
 was exactly three inches high). 
 
 " But I'm not used to it ! " pleaded poor Alice in a 
 piteous tone. And she thought to herself, " I wish the 
 creatures wouldn't be so easily offended ! " 
 
 " You'll get used to it in time," said the Caterpillar ; 
 and it put the hookah into its mouth and began smok- 
 ing again. 
 
 This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to 
 speak again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took 
 the hookah out of its mouth, and yawned once or twice, 
 and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, 
 and crawled away into the grass, merely remarking as 
 it went, " One side will make you grow taller, and the 
 other side will make you grow shorter." 
 
54 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 "One side of what? The other side of what?' 
 thought Alice to herself. 
 
 " Of the mushroom," said the Caterpillar, just as 
 if she had asked it aloud ; and in another moment it 
 was out of sight. 
 
 Alice remained looting thoughtfully at the mush- 
 room for a minute, trying to make out which were the 
 two sides of it; and, as it was perfectly round, she 
 found this a very difficult question. However, at last 
 she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, 
 and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand. 
 
 " And now which is which '. ' ' she said to herself, 
 and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to try the 
 effect : the next moment she felt a violent blow under- 
 neath her chin ; it had struck her foot I 
 
 She was a good deal frightened by this very sndden 
 change, but she felt that there was no time to be lost, 
 as she was shrinking rapidly ; so she set to work at 
 once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed 
 so closelv against her foot, that there was hardlv room 
 to open her mouth ; but she did it at last, and man- 
 aged to swallow a morsel of the left-hand bit. 
 
 * * * * * 
 
 TT T" ™ TP 
 
 ***** 
 
 " Come, my head's free at last ! " said Alice in a 
 tone of delight, which changed into alarm in another 
 moment, when she found that her shoulders were no- 
 where to be found : all she could see, when she looked 
 down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed 
 to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that 
 lay far below her. 
 
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 55 
 
 " What can all that green stuff be ? " said Alice. 
 " And where have my shoulders got to ? And, oh, my 
 poor hands, how is it I can't see you ? ' : She was mov- 
 ing them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to 
 follow, except a little shaking among the distant green 
 leaves. 
 
 As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands 
 np to her head, she tried to get her head down to 
 them, and was delighted to find that her neck would 
 bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She 
 had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful 
 zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, 
 which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees 
 under which she had been wandering, when a sharp 
 hiss made her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had 
 flown into her face, and was beating her violently with 
 its wings. 
 
 " Serpent ! " screamed the Pigeon. 
 
 " I'm not a serpent ! " said Alice, indignantly. " Let 
 me alone ! " 
 
 il Serpent, I say again ! " repeated the Pigeon, but in 
 a more subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, 
 " I've tried every way, and nothing seems to suit 
 them ! " 
 
 " I haven't the least idea what you're talking about," 
 said Alice. 
 
 " I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, 
 and I've tried hedges," the Pigeon went on, without 
 attending to her; '"'but those serpents! There's no 
 pleasing them ! " 
 
 Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought 
 there was no use in saying anything more till the 
 Pigeon had finished. 
 
 " As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs," 
 said the Pigeon, " but I must be on the lookout for 
 
56 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 serpents night and day ! Why, I haven't had a wink 
 of sleep these three weeks ! " 
 
 " I'm very sorry you've been annoyed," said Alice, 
 who was beginning to see its meaning. 
 
 " And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood," 
 continued the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, " and 
 just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last, 
 they must needs come wriggling down from the sky ! 
 Ugh ! Serpent ! " 
 
 "But I'm not a serpent, I tell you!' 1 said Alice, 
 " I'm a I'm a " 
 
 " Well ! What are you ? " said the Pigeon. " I can 
 see you're trying to invent something! " 
 
 " I — I'm a little girl," said Alice, rather doubtfully, 
 as she remembered the number of changes she had gone 
 through that day. 
 
 " A likely story indeed ! " said the Pigeon in a tone 
 of the deepest contempt. " I've seen a good many little 
 girls in my time, but never one with such a neck as 
 that ! Xo, no ! You're a serpent ; and there's no use 
 denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that 
 you never tasted an egg! " 
 
 " I have tasted eggs, certainly," said Alice, who was 
 a very truthful child ; " but little girls eat eggs quite 
 as much as serpents do, you know." 
 
 " I don't believe it," said the Pigeon ; " but if they 
 do, why, then, they're a kind of serpent, that's all I 
 
 can say." 
 
 This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite 
 silent for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the 
 opportunity of adding, " You're looking for eggs, I 
 know that well enough ; and what does it matter to me 
 whether you're a little girl or a serpent ? " 
 
 " It matters a good deal to me," said Alice, hastily ; 
 
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 57 
 
 " but I'm not looking for eggs, as it happens ; and if I 
 was, I shouldn't want yours: I don't like them raw." 
 
 " Well, be off, then ! " said the Pigeon, in a sulky 
 tone, as it settled down again into its nest. Alice 
 crouched down among the trees as well as she could, 
 for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, 
 and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. 
 After a while she remembered that she still held the 
 pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work 
 very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the 
 other, and growing sometimes taller and sometirnes 
 shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself 
 down to her usual height. 
 
 It was so long since she had been anything near 
 the right size, that it felt quite strange at first, but 
 she got used to it in a few minutes, and began talking 
 to herself as usual. " Come, there's half my plan done 
 now! How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never 
 sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to another ! 
 However, I've got back to my right size : the next thing 
 is, to get into that beautiful garden — how is that to be 
 done, I wonder ? " As she said this, she came sud- 
 denly upon an open place, with a little house in it 
 about four feet high. " Whoever lives there," thought 
 Alice, " it'll never do to come upon them this size : why, 
 I should frighten them out of their wits ! " So she be- 
 gan nibbling at the right-hand bit again, and did not 
 venture to go near the house till she had brought her- 
 self down to nine inches high. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 PIG AXD PEPPER. 
 
 For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, 
 and wondering what to do next, when suddenly a foot- 
 man in livery came running out of the wood — (she con- 
 sidered him to he a footman because he was in livery: 
 otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have 
 called him a fish)— and rapped loudly at the door with 
 his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in 
 livery, with a round face and large eyes like a frog; 
 and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair 
 that curled all over their heads. She felt very cu- 
 rious to know what it was all about, and crept a little 
 way out of the wood to listen. 
 
 The Fish-Footman began by producing from under 
 his arm a great 'letter, nearly as large as himself, and 
 this he handed over to the other, saying in a solemn 
 tone, " For the Duchess. An invitation from the 
 Queen to play croquet." The Frog-Footman repeated, 
 in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the 
 words a little, " From the Queen. An invitation for 
 the Duchess to play croquet." 
 
 Then they both bowed low, and their curls got en- 
 tangled together. 
 
 Alice laughed so much at this that she had to run 
 back into the wood for fear of their hearing her, and 
 wdien she next peeped out the Fish-Footman was gone, 
 58 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 59 
 
 and the other was sitting on the ground near the door ? 
 staring stupidly up into the sky. . 
 
 Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked. 
 
 " There's no sort of use in knocking/' said the Foot- 
 man, " and that for two reasons. First, because 
 I'm on the same side of the door as you are ; 
 secondly, because they're making such a noise inside, 
 no one could possibly hear you." And certainly there 
 vms a most extraordinary noise going on within — a 
 constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then 
 a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken 
 to pieces. 
 
 " Please, then," said Alice, " how am I to get in \ " 
 
60 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 " There might be some sense in your knocking," the 
 Footman went on without attending to her, " If we had 
 the door between us. For instance, if vou were inside, 
 you might knock, and I conld let yon out, yon know." 
 ITe was looking up into the sky all the time he was. 
 speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly nncivil. 
 "But perhaps he can't help it," she said to herself; 
 " his eyes are so very nearly at the top of his head. But 
 at any rate he might answer questions — How am I to 
 get in ? " she repeated, aloud. 
 
 " I shall sit here," the Footman remarked, " till to- 
 morrow " 
 
 At this moment the door of the house opened, and a 
 large plate came skimming out, straight at the Foot- 
 man's head: it just grazed his nose, and broke to pieces 
 against one of the trees behind him. 
 
 " or next day, maybe," the Footman continued 
 
 in the same tone, exactly as if nothing had happened. 
 
 "How am I to get in?" Alice asked again in a 
 louder tone. 
 
 "Are vou to get in at all?" said the Footman. 
 " That's the first question, you know." 
 
 It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told 
 so. " It's really dreadful," she muttered to herself, 
 " the way all the creatures argue. It's enough to 
 drive one crazy ! " 
 
 The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity 
 for repeating his remark, with variations. " I shall 
 sit here," he said, " on and off, for days and days." 
 
 " But what am I to do ? " said Alice. 
 
 " Anything you like," said the Footman, and began 
 whistling. 
 
 " Oh, there's no use in talking to him," said Alice, 
 desperately ; " he's perfectly idiotic ! " And she opened 
 the door and went in. 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 61 
 
 The door led right into a large kitchen, which was 
 full of smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess 
 was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle, nurs- 
 ing a baby ; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a 
 large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup. 
 
 " There's certainly too much pepper in that soup ! " 
 Alice said to herself, as well as she could for sneezing. 
 
 There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even 
 the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, 
 it was sneezing and howling alternately without a mo- 
 ment's pause. The only two creatures in the kitchen 
 that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat 
 which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from 
 ear to ear. 
 
 " Please, would you tell me," said Alice, a little tim- 
 idly, for she was not quite sure whether it was good 
 
62 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 manners for her to speak first, " why your cat grins 
 like that ! " 
 
 " It's a Cheshire cat," said the Duchess, " and that's 
 why. Pig!" 
 
 She said the last word with such sudden violence that 
 Alice quite jumped ; but she saw in another moment 
 that, it was addressed to the baby, and not to her, so 
 she took courage, and went on again: — 
 
 "I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; 
 in fact, I didn't know that cats could grin." 
 
 " They all can," said the Duchess ; " and most of 
 'em do." 
 
 " I don't know of any that do," Alice said very po- 
 litely, feeling quite pleased to have got into a con- 
 versation. 
 
 " You don't know much," said the Duchess ; " and 
 that's a fact." 
 
 Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and 
 thought it would be as well to introduce some other 
 subject of conversation. "While she was trying to fix 
 on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the fire, 
 and at once set to work throwing everything within 
 her reach at the Duchess and the baby — the fire-irons 
 came first ; then followed a shower of saucepans, plates, 
 and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them, even 
 when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much 
 already, that it was quite impossible to say whether the 
 blows hurt it or not. 
 
 " Oh, please mind what you're doing! " cried Alice, 
 jumping up and down in an agony of terror. " Oh, 
 there goes his precious nose ! " as an unusually large 
 saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off. 
 
 " If everybody minded their own business," said 
 the Duchess in a hoarse growl, " the world would go 
 round a deal faster than it does." 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 63 
 
 " Which would not be an advantage," said Alice, 
 "who felt very glad to get an opportunity of showing 
 off a little of her knowledge. " Just think what work 
 it would make with the day and night! You see the 
 earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round on its 
 axis 
 
 " Talking of axes," said the Duchess, " chop off her 
 head!" 
 
 Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if 
 she meant to take the hint ; but the cook was busily 
 stirring the soup, and seemed not to be listening, so 
 she went on again : " Twenty-four hours, I think; or is 
 it twelve? I " 
 
 " Oh, don't bother me" said the Duchess: " I never 
 could abide figures." And with that she began nurs- 
 ing her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as she 
 did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of 
 every line: — 
 
 " Speak roughly to your little hoy, 
 And beat him when he sneezes; 
 
 He only does it to annoy, 
 Because he knows it teases." 
 
 Chorus 
 
 (in which the cook and the baby joined) :— ~ 
 
 " Wow! wow! wow! " 
 
 While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, 
 she kept tossing the baby violently up and down, and 
 the poor little thing howled so, that Alice could hardly 
 hear the words: — 
 
64 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 ' I speak severely to my boy, 
 I beat him when he sneezes; 
 For he can thoroughly enjoy 
 The pepper when he pleases! " 
 
 Chorus 
 
 "Wow! wow! wow!" 
 
 "Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like! " said 
 the Duchess to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she 
 spoke. " I must go and get ready to play croquet 
 with the Queen," and she hurried out of the room. 
 The cook threw a frying pan after her as she 'vent, 
 but it just missed her. 
 
 Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, <»s it 
 was a queer-shaped little creature, and held out its 
 arms and legs in all directions, "just like a starfish," 
 thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting like 
 a steam engine when she caught it, and kept doubling 
 itself up and straightening itself out again, so that 
 altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much 
 as she could do to hold it. 
 
 As soon as she had made out the proper way of nurs- 
 ing it, (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, 
 and then keep tight hold of its right ear and left foot, 
 so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried it out 
 into the open air. " If I don't take this child away 
 with me," thought Alice, " they're sure to kill it in a 
 day or two : wouldn't it be murder to leave it behind ? " 
 She said the last words out loud, and the little thing 
 grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time),, 
 "Don't grunt," said Alice: " that's not at all a proper 
 way of expressing yourself." 
 
 The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anx- 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 65 
 
 iously into its face to see what was the matter with 
 it. There could be no doubt that it had a very turn-up 
 nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its 
 eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: alto- 
 gether Alice did not like the look of the thing at all, 
 " but, perhaps, it was only sobbing," she thought, and 
 looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any 
 tears. 
 
 No, there were no tears. " If you're going to turn 
 into a pig, my dear," said Alice, seriously, " I'll have 
 nothing more to do with you. Mind, now ! " The poor 
 little thing sobbed again, (or grunted, it was impos- 
 sible to say which,) and they went on for some while 
 in silence. 
 
 Alice was just beginning to think to herself, " Now, 
 what am I to do with this creature when I get it 
 
66 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 home ? " when it grunted again, so violently, that she 
 looked down into its face in some alarm. This time 
 there could be no mistake about it : it was neither more 
 nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be quite 
 absurd for her to carry it any further. 
 
 So she set the little creature down, and felt quite 
 relieved to see it trot away quietly into the wood. " If 
 it had grown up," she said to herself, " it would have 
 been a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes rather a 
 handsome pig, I think." And she began thinking over 
 other children she knew, who might do very well as 
 pigs, and was just saying to herself, " if one only knew 
 the right way to change them " when she was a lit- 
 tle startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a 
 bough of a tree a few vards off. 
 
 The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked 
 good-natured, she thought: still it had very long claws 
 and a great many teeth, so she felt it ought to be treated 
 with respect. 
 
 " Cheshire Puss," she began, rather timidly, as she 
 did not at all know whether it would like the name : 
 however, it only grinned a little wider. " Come, it's 
 pleased so far," thought Alice, and she went on, " would 
 you tell me, please, which way I ought to walk from 
 here ? " 
 
 " That depends a good deal on where you want to 
 get to," said the Cat. 
 
 " I don't much care where " said Alice. 
 
 " Then it doesn't matter which way you walk," said 
 the Cat. 
 
 " so long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an 
 
 explanation. 
 
 " Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, " if 
 you only walk long enough." 
 
 Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 67 
 
 -rf* 
 
 ^ 
 
 ^ss 
 
 '&7 
 
 o-ei 
 
 «CT« 
 
 "S3 
 
 ^'■> 
 
 £' 
 
 %mSg££& 
 
 m &££, » 
 
 another question. " What 
 sort of people live about 
 here ? ' ' 
 
 ' ' In that direction, ' ' the 
 Cat said, waving its right 
 paw round, ' ' lives a Hatter : 
 and in that direction," wav- 
 
 WJk 
 
 ¥ 
 
 \y m 
 
 you like : they're both mad. ' ' ^ '. 
 
 "But I don't want to go ^§ 
 among mad people," Alice ____ 
 remarked. 
 
 ' ' Oh, you can't help that, ' ' 
 said the Cat: "we're all 
 mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." 
 
 " How do you know I'm mad \ " said Alice. 
 
 " You must be," said the Cat, " or you wouldn't 
 have come here." 
 
 Alice didn't think that proved it at all ; however, she 
 went on : " and how do you know that you're mad ? " 
 
68 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND, 
 
 " To begin with," said the Cat, " a dog's not mad. 
 You grant that ? " 
 
 " I suppose so," said Alice. 
 
 " Well, then," the Cat went on, " you see a dog 
 growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's 
 pleased. Now / growl when I'm pleased, and wag 
 my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad." 
 
 ' I call it purring, not growling," said Alice. 
 
 " Call it what you like," said the Cat. " Do you 
 play croquet with the Queen to-day ? " 
 
 " I should like it very much," said Alice, " but I 
 haven't been invited vet." 
 
 " You'll see me there," said the Cat, and vanished. 
 
 Alice was not much surprised at this, she was get- 
 ting so well used to queer things happening. While she 
 was still looking at the place where it had been, it sud- 
 denly appeared again. 
 
 " By-the-bye, what became of the baby ? " said the 
 Cat. " I'd nearly forgotten to ask." 
 
 " It turned into a pig," Alice answered, very quietly, 
 just as if the Cat had come back in a natural way. 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 69 
 
 " I thought it would/' said the Cat, and vanished 
 again. 
 
 Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, 
 but it did not appear, and after a minute or two she 
 walked on in the direction in which the March Hare 
 was said to live. " I've seen hatters before," she said 
 to herself: " the March Hare will be much the most 
 interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be rav- 
 ing mad — at least not so mad as it was in March." As 
 she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat 
 again, sitting on a branch of a tree. 
 
 " Did you say pig, or fig ? " said the Cat. 
 
 " I said pig," replied Alice ; " and I wish you 
 wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly: 
 you make one quite giddy." 
 
 " All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished 
 quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and 
 ending with the grin, which remained some time after 
 the rest of it had gone. 
 
 " Well ! I've often seen a cat without a grin," 
 thought Alice ; " but a grin without a cat. It's the most 
 curious thing I ever saw in all my life ! " 
 
 She had not gone much farther before she came in 
 sight of the house of the March Hare ; she thought it 
 must be the right house, because the chimneys were 
 shaped like ears, and the roof was thatched with fur. 
 It was so large a house, that she did not like to go 
 nearer till she had nibbled some more of the left-hand 
 bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet 
 high : even then she walked up toward it rather timidly, 
 saying to herself, " Suppose it should be raving mad 
 after all ! I almost wish I'd gone to see the Hatter 
 instead ! " 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 A MAD TEA-PARTY. 
 
 There was a table set out under a tree in front 
 of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter 
 were having - tea at it : a Dormouse was sitting between 
 them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as 
 a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over 
 its head. " Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse," 
 thought Alice ; " only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't 
 mind." 
 
 The table was a large one, but the three were all 
 crowded together at one corner of it : " No room ! No 
 room ! " they cried out when they saw Alice coming. 
 "There's plenty of room!" said Alice, indignantly, 
 and she sat down in a large armchair at one end of the 
 table. 
 
 " Have some wine," the March Hare said, in an en- 
 couraging tone. 
 
 Alice looked all around the table, but there was noth- 
 ing on it but tea. " I don't see any wine," she re- 
 marked. 
 
 " There isn't any," said the March Hare. 
 
 " Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it," said 
 Alice, angrily. 
 
 " It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without 
 being invited," said the March Hare. 
 
 " I didn't know it was your table," said Alice ; " it's 
 laid for a great many more than three." 
 70 
 
 
A MAD TEA-PARTY. fl 
 
 " Your hair wants cutting/' said the Hatter. He 
 had been looking at Alice for some time with great 
 curiosity, and this was his first speech. 
 
 " You should learn not to make personal remarks," 
 Alice said with some severity : " it's very rude." 
 
 The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing 
 this ; but all he said was, " Why is a raven like a writ- 
 ing-desk ? " 
 
 " Come, we shall have some fun now ! " thought 
 Alice. " I'm glad they've begun asking riddles — I be- 
 lieve I can guess that," she added aloud. 
 
 " Do you mean that you think you can find out the 
 answer to it ? " said the March Hare. 
 
 " Exactly so," said Alice. 
 
 " Then you should say what you mean," the March 
 Hare went on. 
 
 " I do," Alice hastily replied ; " at least — at least 
 I mean what I say — that's the same thing, you know." 
 
 " 'Not the same thing a bit ! " said the Hatter. 
 " Why, you might just as well say that ' I see what I 
 eat ' is the same thing as ' I eat what I see ' ! " 
 
 " You might just as well say," added the March 
 Hare, " .that ' I like what I get ' is the same thing as 
 < I get what I like ' ! " 
 
 " You might just as well say," added the Dormouse, 
 who seemed to be talking in his sleep, " that ' I breathe 
 when I sleep ' is the same thing as * I sleep when I 
 breathe ' ! " 
 
 " It is the same thing with you," said the Hatter, 
 and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat 
 silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she 
 could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which 
 wasn't much. 
 
 The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 
 " What day of the month is it ? " he said, turning to 
 
72 ALICES ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 Alice: lie had taken his watch out of his pocket, and 
 was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and 
 then, and holding it to his ear. 
 
 Alice considered a little, and said, " The fourth." 
 
 a 
 
 Two days wrong!' 1 sighed the Hatter. 
 
 I told 
 
 you hutter wouldn't suit the works ! " he added, look- 
 ing angrily at the March Hare. 
 
 " It was the best hutter," the March Hare meekly re- 
 plied. 
 
 " Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well," 
 the Hatter grumbled : " you shouldn't have put it in 
 with the bread-knife." 
 
 The March Hare took the watch and looked at it 
 gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and 
 looked at it again : but he could think of nothing bet- 
 ter to say than his first remark, " It was the best but- 
 ter, you know." 
 
 Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some 
 curiosity. " What a funny watch ! " she remarked. 
 
A MAD TEA-PARTY. 73 
 
 " It tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell what 
 o'clock it is ! " 
 
 " Why should it.? " muttered the Hatter. " Does 
 your watch tell you what year it is? " 
 
 " Of course not," Alice replied very readily : " hut 
 that's because it stays the same year for such a long 
 time together." 
 
 " Which is just the case with mine/' said the Hat- 
 ter. 
 
 Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark 
 seemed to her to have no sort of meaning in it, and 
 yet it was certainly English. " I don't quite under- 
 stand you," she said, as politely as she could. 
 
 " The Dormouse is asleep again," said the Hatter, 
 and he poured a little hot tea on to its nose. 
 
 The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, 
 without opening its eyes, " Of course, of course: just 
 what I was going to remark myself." 
 
 " Have you guessed the riddle yet ? " the Hatter said, 
 turning to Alice again. 
 
 " !NTo, I give it up," Alice replied : " what's the 
 answer ? " 
 
 " I haven't the slightest idea," said the Hatter. 
 
 " ^ T or I," said the March Hare. 
 
 Alice sighed wearily. " I think you might do some- 
 thing better with the time," she said, " than wasting 
 it in asking riddles that have no answers." 
 
 " If you knew Time as well as I do," said the Hat- 
 ter, " you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's him" 
 
 " I don't know what vou mean," said Alice. 
 
 " Of course you don't ! " the Hatter said, tossing his 
 head contemptuously. " I dare say you never even 
 spoke to Time ! " 
 
 " Perhaps not," Alice cautiously replied : " but I 
 know I have to beat time when I learn music." 
 
74 
 
 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 " Ah ! that accounts for it," said the Hatter. " He 
 won't stand beating. Xow, if you only kept on good 
 terms with him, he'd do almost anything von liked 
 with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine 
 o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd 
 only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the 
 clock in a twinkling ! Half^ast one, time for din- 
 ner ! " 
 
 (" I only wish it was," the Alarch Hare said to 
 itself in a whisper.) 
 
 " That would be grand, certainly," said Alice, 
 thoughtfully : " but then — I shouldn't be hungry for it, 
 vou know." 
 
 " Xot at first, perhaps," said the Hatter: "but you 
 could keep it to half-past one as long as you liked." 
 
 " Is that the way you manage ? " Alice asked. 
 
 The Hatter shook his head mournfully. " Xot I," 
 
 he replied. " We quarrelled last March just before 
 
 he went mad, you know " (pointing with his tea- 
 spoon at the March Hare,) " it was at the great 
 
A MAD TEA-PARTY. ?5 
 
 concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to 
 sing — 
 
 ' Twinkle, twinkle, little bat ! 
 How I wonder what you're at!' 
 
 You know the song perhaps ? " 
 
 " I've heard something like it," said Alice. 
 
 " It goes on, you know," the Hatter continued, " in 
 this way: — 
 
 ' Up above the world you fly, 
 Like a tea tray in the sky. 
 
 Twinkle, twinkle " 
 
 Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing 
 
 in its sleep, " Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle " 
 
 and went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it 
 stop. 
 
 " Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse," said the 
 Hatter, "when the Queen bawled out: 'He's murder- 
 ing the time ! Off with his head ! ' " 
 
 " How dreadfully savage ! " exclaimed Alice. 
 
 " And ever since that," the Hatter went on in a 
 mournful tone, " he won't do a thing I ask ! It's al- 
 ways six o'clock now." 
 
 A bright idea came into Alice's head. " Is that the 
 reason so many tea-things are put out here % " she 
 asked. 
 
 " Yes, that's it," said the Hatter, with a sigh ; " it's 
 always tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things 
 between whiles." 
 
 " Then you keep moving round, I suppose ? " said 
 Alice. 
 
 " Exactly so," said the Hatter : " as the things get 
 used up." 
 
76 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 " But when you come to the beginning again ? " 
 Alice ventured to ask. 
 
 " Suppose we change the subject," the March Hare 
 interrupted, yawning. " I'm getting tired of this. I 
 vote the young lady tells us a story." 
 
 " I'm afraid I don't know one," said Alice, rather 
 alarmed at the proposal. 
 
 " Then the Dormouse shall ! " they both cried. 
 " Wake up, Dormouse ! " And they pinched it on both 
 sides at once. 
 
 The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. " I wasn't 
 asleep," he said, in a hoarse, feeble voice: "I heard 
 every word you fellows were saying." 
 
 " Tell us a story ! " said the March Hare. 
 
 " Yes, please do ! " pleaded Alice. 
 
 " And be quick about it," added the Hatter, " or 
 you'll be asleep again before it's done." 
 
 " Once upon a time there were three little sisters," 
 the Dormouse began in a great hurry; ''and their 
 names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived 
 at the bottom of a well " 
 
 " What did they live on ? " said Alice, who always 
 took a great interest in questions of eating and drink- 
 ing. 
 
 " They lived on treacle," said the Dormouse, after 
 thinking a minute or two. 
 
 " They couldn't have done that, you know," Alice 
 gently remarked : " they'd have been ill." 
 
 "So they were," said the Dormouse; "very ill." 
 
 Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what such an 
 extraordinary way of living would be like, but it puz- 
 zled her too much, so she went on : " But why did they 
 live at the bottom of a well ? " 
 
 " Take some more tea," the March Hare said to 
 Alice, very earnestly. 
 
A MAD TEA-PARTY. 77 
 
 u I've had nothing yet," Alice replied, in an offended 
 tone, " so I can't take more." 
 
 " You mean, you can't take less" said the Hatter : 
 " it's very easy to take more than nothing." 
 
 " Kobody asked your opinion," said Alice. 
 
 " Who's making personal remarks now ? " the Hat- 
 ter asked, triumphantly. 
 
 Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she 
 helped herself to some tea and bread and butter, and 
 then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her ques- 
 tion. " Why did they live at the bottom of a well ? ' : 
 
 The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think 
 about, it, and then said, " It was a treacle-well." 
 
 " There's no such thing! " Alice was beginning very 
 angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went " Sh ! 
 sh ! " and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, " If you 
 can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for your- 
 self." 
 
 " ISTo, please go on ! " Alice said very humbly : " I 
 won't interrupt you again. I dare say there may be 
 one." 
 
 " One, indeed ! " said the Dormouse, indignantly. 
 However, he consented to go on. " And so these three 
 little sisters — they were learning to draw, you know — " 
 
 " What did they draw ? " said Alice, quite forgetting 
 her promise. 
 
 " Treacle," said the Dormouse, without considering 
 at all this time. 
 
 " I want a clean cup," interrupted the Hatter : " let's 
 all move one place on." 
 
 He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse fol- 
 lowed him : the March Hare moved into the Dormouse's 
 place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of 
 the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got 
 any advantage from the change : and Alice was a good 
 
78 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had 
 just upset the milk jug into his plate. 
 
 Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so 
 she began very cautiously : " But I don't understand. 
 Where did they draw the treacle from ? " 
 
 " You can draw water out of a water-well," said the 
 Hatter ; " so I should think you could draw treacle out 
 of a treacle-well — eh, stupid?" 
 
 " But they were in the well," Alice said to the Dor- 
 mouse, not choosing to notice this last remark. 
 
 Of course they were," said the Dormouse, — " well 
 
 in." 
 
 This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the 
 Dormouse go on for some time without interrupting 
 it. 
 
 " They were learning to draw," the Dormouse went 
 on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting 
 very sleepy ; " and they drew all manner of things — 
 everything that begins with an M " 
 
A MAD TEA-PARTY. 79 
 
 " Why with an M ? " said Alice. 
 
 " Why not ? " said the March Hare. 
 
 Alice was silent. 
 
 The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time and 
 was going off into a doze, but, on being pinched by the 
 Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went 
 
 on : " that begins with an M, such as mousetraps, 
 
 and the moon, and memory, and muchness — you know 
 you say things are * much of a muchness ' — did 
 you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a much- 
 ness % " 
 
 " Really, now you ask me," said Alice, very much 
 confused, " I don't think " 
 
 " Then you shouldn't talk," said the Hatter. 
 
 This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could 
 bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off: the 
 Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the oth- 
 ers took the least notice of her going, though she looked 
 back once or twice, half hoping that they would call 
 after her : the last time she saw them, they were trying 
 to put the Dormouse into the teapot. 
 
 " At any rate I'll never go there again ! " said Alice, 
 as she picked her way through the wood. 
 
 " It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my 
 life!" 
 
 Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the 
 trees had a door leading right into it. " That's very cu- 
 rious ! " she thought. " But everything's curious to- 
 dav. I think I mav as well go in at once." And in 
 she went. 
 
 Once more she found herself in the long hall, and 
 close to the little glass table. " ISTow, I'll manage better 
 this time," she said to herself, and began by taking 
 the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led 
 into the garden. Then she set to work nibbling at the 
 
80 
 
 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) 
 till she was about a foot high : then she walked down 
 the little passage: and then — she found herself at last 
 in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower beds 
 and the cool fountains. 
 
CHAPTEE VIII. 
 
 THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND. 
 
 A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the gar- 
 den : the roses growing on it were white, but there were 
 three gardeners at it, busily painting them red. Alice 
 thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer 
 to watch them, and just as she came up to them she 
 heard one of them say, " Look out now, Five ! Don't 
 go splashing paint over me like that 1 " 
 
 " I couldn't help it," said Five, in a sulky tone ; 
 " Seven jogged my elbow." 
 
 On which Seven looked up and said, " That's right, 
 Five ! Always lay the blame on others ! " 
 
 ' You'd better not talk ! " said Five. " I heard the 
 Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be be- 
 headed! " 
 
 " What for ? " said the one who had spoken first. 
 
 " That's none of your business, Two ! " said Seven. 
 
 " Yes, it is his business ! " said Five, " and I'll tell 
 him — it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead 
 of onions." 
 
 Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun, 
 " Well, of all the unjust things — " when his eyes 
 chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stoood watching them, 
 and he checked himself suddenly : the others looked 
 round also ; and all of them bowed low. 
 
 " Would you tell me, please," said Alice, a little 
 timidly, " why you are painting those roses ? " 
 6 81 
 
82 ILICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 vm& 
 
 *&&&$&. 
 
 'Ss- 
 
 :S 
 
 Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. 
 Two began, in a low voice, " Why, the fact is, you see, 
 Miss, this here ought to have been a red rose-tree, and 
 we put a white one in by mistake, and if the Queen 
 was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, 
 you know. So, you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore 
 she comes, to — " At this moment Five, who had been 
 anxiously looking across the garden, called out " The 
 Queen ! The Queen ! ' and the three gardeners in- 
 stantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There 
 was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, 
 eager to see the Queen. 
 
 First came ten soldiers earrving clubs ; these were 
 all shaped like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, 
 with their hands and feet at the corners: next the ten 
 courtiers; these were ornamented all over with dia- 
 
( 
 
 THE QUEENS CROQUET-GROUND. J3 
 
 monds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. 
 After these came the royal children ; there were ten of 
 them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along 
 hand in hand, in couples : they were all ornamented with 
 hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and 
 Queens, and among them Alice recognized the White 
 Rabbit : it was talking in a hurried, nervous manner, 
 smiling at everything that was said, and went by with- 
 out noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, 
 carrying the King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion ; 
 and, last of all this grand procession, came THE KING 
 AND QUEEN OF HEARTS. 
 
 Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to 
 lie down on her face like the three gardeners, but she 
 could not remember ever having heard of such a rule 
 at processions; " and besides, what would be the use of 
 a procession," she thought, " if people had all to lie 
 down on their faces, so that they couldn't see it \ " So 
 she stood where she was, and waited. 
 
 When the procession came opposite to Alice, they 
 all stopped and looked at her, and the Queen said 
 severely, " Who is this ? " She said it to the Knave of 
 Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply. 
 
 " Idiot ! ' " said the Queen, tossing her head impa- 
 tiently ; and, turning to Alice, she went on, " What's 
 your name, child ? " 
 
 " My name is Alice, so please your Majesty," said 
 Alice, very politely ; but she added, to herself, " Why, 
 they're only a pack of cards, after all. I needn't be 
 afraid of them ! " 
 
 " And who are these?" said the Queen, pointing to 
 the three gardeners who were lying round the rose- 
 tree ; for you see, as they were lying on their faces, and 
 the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of 
 the pack, she could not tell whether they were garden- 
 
34: ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 -ers, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own chil- 
 dren. 
 
 " Plow should / know % " said Alice, surprised at her 
 own courage. " It's no business of mine." 
 
 The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after 
 glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, began 
 screaming, "Off with her head! Off — " 
 
 " Konsense ! " said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, 
 and the Queen was silent. 
 
 The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly 
 •said, " Consider, my dear : she is only a child ! " 
 
THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND. 85 
 
 The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said 
 to the Knave, " Turn them over ! " 
 
 The Knave did so, very carefully, with one 
 foot. 
 
 "Get up! " said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, 
 and the three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began 
 bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal children, and 
 everybody else. 
 
 " Leave off that ! " screamed the Queen. " You 
 make me giddy." And then, turning to the rose-tree, 
 she went on, " What have you been doing here % " 
 
 " May it please your Majesty," said Two, in a very 
 humble tone, going down on one knee as he spoke, " we 
 were trying — " 
 
 " I see ! " said the Queen, who had meanwhile been 
 examining the roses. " Off with their heads ! " and 
 the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining 
 behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran 
 to Alice for protection. 
 
 " You shan't be beheaded ! " said Alice, and she put 
 them into a large flower pot that stood near. The three 
 soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking 
 for them, and then quietly marched off after the others. 
 
 " Are their heads off ? " shouted the Queen. 
 
 " Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty ! " 
 the soldiers shouted in reply. 
 
 " That's right ! " shouted the Queen. " Can you 
 play croquet ? " 
 
 The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the 
 question was evidently meant for her. 
 
 " Yes ! " shouted Alice. 
 
 " Come on, then ! " roared the Queen, and Alice 
 joined the procession, wondering very much what would 
 happen next. 
 
 It's — it's a very fine day ! " said a timid voice at 
 
 K 
 
86 ALICES ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 her side. She was walking by the 'White Rabbit, who 
 was peeping anxiously into her face. 
 
 "Very," said Alice: — " where's the Duchess?' 1 
 
 " Hush ! Hush ! " said the Rabbit in a low, hurried 
 tone. He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he 
 spoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put his 
 mouth close to her ear, and whispered, " She's under 
 sentence of execution." 
 
 " What for I " said Alice. 
 
 " Did you say ' What a pity ! ' ? " the Rabbit asked. 
 
 " No, I didn't," said Alice: "I don't think it's at 
 all a pity. I said ' What for \ ' " 
 
 " She boxed the Queen's ears — " the Rabbit began. 
 Alice gave a little scream of laughter. " Oh, hush ! ' 
 the Rabbit whispered, in a frightened tone. " The 
 Queen will hear you ! You see she came rather late, 
 and the Queen said — " 
 
 " Get to your places ! " shouted the Queen, in a voice 
 of thunder, and people began running about in all di- 
 rections, tumbling up against each other : however, they 
 got settled down in a minute or two, and the game be- 
 gan. 
 
 Alice thought she had never seen such a curious cro- 
 quet-ground in her life: it was all ridges and furrows; 
 the croquet-balls were live hedge-hogs, and the mallets 
 were live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double 
 themselves up and stand on their hands and feet, to 
 make the arches. 
 
 The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in man- 
 aging her flamingo : she succeeded in getting its body 
 tucked awav, comfortablv enoueh, under her arm, with 
 its leg's hanging down, but generally, just as she had 
 got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to 
 give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist 
 itself round and look up into her face, with such a puz- 
 
THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND. 
 
 87 
 
 zled expression that she could not help bursting out 
 laughing: and when she had got its head down, and 
 was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find 
 that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in the 
 act of crawling away: besides all this, there was gen- 
 erally a ridge or a furrow in the way wherever she 
 w T anted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up 
 soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other 
 parts cf the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion 
 that it was a very difficult e;ame indeed. 
 
 The players all played at once without waiting for 
 turns, quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the 
 hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queen was in 
 a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shout- 
 ing, " Off with his head ! "or " Off with her head! " 
 about once in a minute. 
 
 Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had 
 not as yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she 
 
SS ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 knew that it might happen any minute, " and then," 
 thought she, " what would become of me ? They're 
 dreadfully fond of beheading people here: the great 
 wonder is, that there's any one left alive! ' 
 
 She was looking about for some way of escape, and 
 wondering whether she could get away without being 
 seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in the air: 
 it puzzled her very much at first, but after watching it 
 a minute or two she made it out to be a grin, and she 
 said to herself, "It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall 
 have somebody to talk to." 
 
 " How are vou setting on ? " said the Cat, as soon as 
 
 ■ZOO 7 
 
 there was mouth enough for it to speak with. 
 
 Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. 
 " It's no use speaking to it," she thought, " till its ears 
 have come, or at least one of them." In another minute 
 the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down her 
 flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling 
 very glad she had some one to listen to her. The Cat 
 seemed to think that there was enough of it now in 
 sight, and no more of it appeared. 
 
 " I don't think they play at all fairly," Alice began, 
 in rather a complaining tone, " and they all quarrel so 
 dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak — and they don't 
 seem to have any rules in particular ; at least, if there 
 are, nobody attends to them — and you've no idea how 
 confusing it is all the things being alive ; for instance, 
 there's the arch I've got to go through next walking 
 about at the other end of the ground — and I should 
 have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it 
 ran away when it saw mine coming ! " 
 
 u How do you like the Queen ? " said the Cat, in a 
 low voice. 
 
 " "Not at all," said Alice : " she's so extremely — " 
 Just then she noticed that the Queen was close behind 
 
THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND. 89 
 
 her, listening: so she went on " — likely to win, that 
 it's hardly worth while finishing the game." 
 
 The Queen smiled and passed on. 
 
 " Who are you talking to ? " said the King, coming 
 up to Alice, and looking at the Cat's head with great 
 curiosity. 
 
 " It's a friend of mine — a Cheshire Cat," said Alice : 
 " allow me to introduce it." 
 
 "I don't like the look of it at all," said the King: 
 " however, it may kiss my hand if it likes." 
 
 " I'd rather not," the Cat remarked. 
 
 " Don't be impertinent," said the King, " and don't 
 look at me like that ! " He got behind Alice as he 
 spoke. 
 
 " A cat may look at a king," said Alice. " I've read 
 that in some book, but I don't remember where." 
 
 " Well, it must be removed," said the King very de- 
 cidedly, and he called to the Queen, who was passing 
 at the moment, " My dear ! I wish you would have this 
 cat removed ! " 
 
 The Queen had only one way of settling all difficul- 
 ties, great or small. " Off with his head ! " she said 
 without even looking round. 
 
 " I'll fetch the executioner myself," said the King, 
 eagerly, and he hurried off. 
 
 Alice thought she might as well go back and see 
 how the game was going on, as she heard the Queen's 
 voice in the distance, screaming with passion. She 
 had already heard her sentence three of the players to 
 be executed for having missed their turns, and she did 
 not like the look of things at all, as the game was in 
 such confusion that she never knew whether it was her 
 turn or not. So she went off in search of her hedge- 
 hog. 
 
 The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another 
 
90 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an excellent opportu- 
 nity for croqueting one of them with the other: the only 
 difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the 
 other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying 
 in a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree. 
 
 By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought 
 it back, the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were 
 out of sight : " but it doesn't matter much," thought 
 Alice, " as all the arches are gone from this side of the 
 ground." So she tucked it away under her arm, that 
 it might not escape again, and went back to have a 
 little more conversation with her friend. 
 
 When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was sur- 
 
THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND. 91 
 
 prised to find quite a large crowd collected round it: 
 there was a dispute going on between the executioner, 
 the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, 
 while all the rest were quite silent, and looked very 
 uncomfortable. 
 
 The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by 
 all three to settle the question, and they repeated their 
 arguments to her, though, as they all spoke at once, 
 she found it very hard to make out exactly what they 
 said. 
 
 The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't 
 cut off a head unless there was a body to cut it off 
 from : that he had never had to do such a thing before, 
 and he wasn't going to begin at his time of life. 
 
 The King's argument was, that anything that had 
 a head could be beheaded, and that you weren't to talk 
 nonsense. 
 
 The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't 
 done about it in less than no time, she'd have every- 
 body executed, all round. (It was this last remark that 
 had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.) 
 
 Alice could think of nothing else to say but " It be- 
 longs to the Duchess : you'd better ask her about it." 
 
 " She's in prison," the Queen said to the execu- 
 tioner : ," fetch her here." And the executioner went 
 off like an arrow. 
 
 The Cat's head began fading away the moment he 
 was gone, and, by the time he had come back with the 
 Duchess, it had entirely disappeared : so the King and 
 the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for 
 it, while the rest of the party went back to the game. 
 
CHAPTER IX. 
 
 THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 
 
 " You can't think how glad I am to see you again, 
 you dear old thing! " said the Duchess, as she tucked 
 her arm affectionately into Alice's, and they walked 
 off together. 
 
 Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant- 
 temper, and thought to herself that perhaps it was only 
 the pepper that had made her so savage when they met 
 in the kitchen. " When I'm a Duchess," she said to 
 herself, (not in a very hopeful tone though,) " I won't 
 have any pepper in my kitchen at all. Soup does very 
 well without — Maybe, it's always pepper that makes 
 people hot-tempered," she went on, very much pleased 
 at having found out a new kind of rule, " and vinegar 
 that makes them sour — and camomile that makes them 
 bitter — and — and barley-sugar and such things that 
 make children sweet-tempered. I only wish people 
 knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, 
 you know — " 
 
 She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, 
 and was a little startled when she heard her voice close 
 to her ear. " You're thinking about something, my 
 dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't tell 
 you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall re- 
 member it in a bit." 
 
 " Perhaps it hasn't one," Alice ventured to remark. 
 
 " Tut, tut, child ! " said the Duchess. " Everything's 
 92 
 
THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 
 
 93 
 
 got a moral, if only you can find it." And she squeezed 
 herself up closer to Alice's side as she spoke. 
 
 Alice did not much like her keeping so close to her : 
 first, because the Duchess was very ugly, and secondly, 
 because she was exactly the right height to rest her 
 chin on Alice's shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably 
 
 sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude, so 
 she bore it as well as she could. 
 
 " The game's going on rather better now," she said, 
 by way of keeping up the conversation a little. 
 
 " 'Tis so," said the Duchess : " and the moral of that 
 is — ' Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go 
 round ! ' " 
 
 " Somebody said," Alice whispered, " that it's done 
 by everybody minding their own business ! " 
 
94 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 "Ah, well! It means much the same thing," said 
 the Duchess, digging her sharp little chin into Alice's 
 shoulder as she added, " and the moral of that is — ■ 
 ' Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care 
 of themselves.' " 
 
 " How fond she is of finding morals in things ! ' : 
 Alice thought to herself. 
 
 " I daresay you're wondering why I don't put my 
 arm round your waist," said the Duchess after a pause : 
 " The reason is, that I'm doubtful about the temper of 
 your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment ? ' 
 
 " He might bite," Alice cautiously replied, net feel- 
 ing at all anxious to have the experiment tried. 
 
 "Very true," said the Duchess: "flamingoes and 
 mustard both bite. And the moral of that is — ' Birds 
 of a feather flock together.' " 
 
 " Only mustard isn't a bird," Alice remarked. 
 
 " Eight, as usual," said the Duchess : " what a clear 
 way you have of putting things ! " 
 
 " It's a mineral, I think," said Alice. 
 
 " Of course it is," said the Duchess, who seemed 
 ready to agree to everything that Alice said : " there's 
 a large mustard-mine near here. And the moral of 
 that is — ' The more there is of mine, the less there 
 is of yours.' " 
 
 " Oh, I know ! " exclaimed Alice, who had not at- 
 tended to this last remark, " it's a vegetable. It doesn't 
 look like one, but it is." 
 
 " I quite agree with you," said the Duchess, " and 
 the moral of that is — ' Be what you would seem to be ' 
 or, if you'd like it put more simply — ' Never imagine 
 yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear 
 to others that what you were or might have been was 
 not otherwise than what you had been would have ap- 
 peared to them to be otherwise.' " 
 
THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 95 
 
 " I think I should understand that better," Alice 
 said, very politely, " if I had it written down : but I 
 can't quite follow it as you say it," 
 
 " That's nothing to what I could say if I chose," the 
 Duchess replied in a pleased tone. 
 
 " Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer 
 than that," said Alice. 
 
 " Oh, don't talk about trouble ! " said the Duchess. 
 " I make vou a present of everything I've said as 
 yet." 
 
 " A cheap sort of present ! " thought Alice. " I'm 
 glad they don't give birthday presents like that!" 
 But she did not venture to say it out loud. 
 
 " Thinking again \ " the Duchess asked, with an- 
 other dig of her sharp little chin. 
 
 " I've a right to think," said Alice, sharply, for 
 she was beginning to feel a little worried. 
 
 " Just about as much right," said the Duchess, " as 
 pigs have to fly: and the m — " 
 
 But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess' voice 
 died away, even in the middle of her favorite word 
 " moral," and the arm that was linked into hers began 
 to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen 
 in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like 
 a thunderstorm. 
 
 " A fine day, your Majesty ! " the Duchess began, in 
 a low, weak voice. 
 
 " ISJow, I give you fair warning," shouted the Queen, 
 stamping on the ground as she spoke ; " either you or 
 your head must be off, and that in about half no time ! 
 Take your choice ! " 
 
 The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a 
 moment. 
 
 " Let's go on with the game," the Queen said to 
 Alice, and Alice was too much frightened to say a 
 
96 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 word, but slowly followed her back to the croquet- 
 ground. 
 
 The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's 
 absence, and were resting in the shade : however, the 
 moment they saw her, they hurried back to the game, 
 the Queen merely remarking that a moment's delay 
 would cost them their lives. 
 
 All the time they were playing the Queen never left 
 off quarrelling with the other players, and shouting 
 " Off with his head ! " or " Off with "her head ! " Those 
 whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the sol- 
 diers, who, of course, had to leave off being arches to 
 do this, so that by the end of half an hour or so there 
 were no arches left, and all the players, except the 
 King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody, and 
 under sentence of execution. 
 
 Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said 
 to Alice, " Have you seen the Mock Turtle vet ? ' 
 
 " Xc," said Alice. " I don't even know what a 
 Mock Turtle is." 
 
 " It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from," 
 said the Queen. 
 
 " I never saw one, or heard of one," said Alice. 
 
 " Come on, then," said the Queen, " and he shall tell 
 you his history." 
 
 As thev walked off together, Alice heard the King 
 say in a low voice, to the company generally, " You 
 are all pardoned." " Come, that's a good thing! " she 
 said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the 
 number of executions the Queen had ordered. 
 
 They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast 
 asleep in the sun. (If you don't know what a Gryphon 
 is, look at the picture.) "Up, lazy thing! " said the 
 Queen, " and take this young lady to see the Mock Tur- 
 tle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see 
 
THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 
 
 9? 
 
 after some executions I have ordered ; " and- she walked 
 off, leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did 
 not quite like the look of the creature, but on the 
 whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay with 
 it as to go after that savage Queen : so she waited. 
 
 The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes : then it 
 watched the Queen till she was out of sight ; then it 
 chuckled. " What fun ! " said the Gryphon, half to 
 itself, half to Alice. 
 
 " What is the fun ? " said Alice. 
 
 " Why, she," said the Gryphon. " It's all her fancy, 
 that : they never executes nobodv, you know. Come 
 on ! " 
 
 " Everybody says ' come on ! ' here," thought Alice, 
 as she went slowly after it : "I never was so Ordered 
 about before in all my life, never ! " 
 
 They had not gone far before they saw the Mock 
 Turtle in the distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little 
 ledge of rock, and, as they came nearer, Alice could 
 hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She pit- 
 
98 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 ied him deeply. " What is his sorrow ? " she asked the 
 Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in 
 the same words as before, " It's all his fancy that: 
 lie hasn't got no sorrow, you know. Come on ! " 
 
 So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at 
 them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing. 
 
 " This here young lady," said the Gryphon, " she 
 wants for to know your history, she do." 
 
 " I'll tell it her," said the Mock Turtle, in a deep, 
 hollow tone : " sit down both of you, and don't speak a 
 word till I've finished." 
 
 So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some min- 
 utes. Alice thought to herself, " I don't see how he can 
 ever finish, if he doesn't begin." But she waited pa- 
 tiently. 
 
 " Once," said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep 
 sigh, " I was a real Turtle." 
 
 These words were followed by a very long silence, 
 broken only by an occasional exclamation of 
 " Hjckrrh ! ' from the Gryphon, and the constant 
 heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very 
 nearly getting up and saying, " Thank you, sir, for 
 your interesting story," but she could not help thinking 
 there must be more to come, so she sat still and said 
 nothing. 
 
 " When we were little," the Mock Turtle went on at 
 last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now and 
 then, " we went to school in the sea. The master was 
 an old Turtle — we used to call him Tortoise — " 
 
 " Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one ? " 
 Alice asked. 
 
 " We called him Tortoise because he taught us," 
 said the Mock Turtle, angrily ; " really you are very 
 dull!" 
 
 " You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking 
 
THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 
 
 99 
 
 such a simple question," added the Gryphon, and then 
 they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who 
 felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon 
 said to the Mock Turtle, " Drive on, old fellow ! 
 Don't be all day about it ! " and he went on in these 
 words. 
 
 " Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you 
 mayn't believe it — " 
 
 " I never said I didn't ! " interrupted Alice. 
 
 " You did," said the Mock Turtle. 
 
100 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 " Hold your tongue ! ' added the Gryphon, before 
 Alice could speak again. The Mock Turtle went 
 on. 
 
 " We had the best of educations — in fact, we went to 
 school every day — " 
 
 'I've been to a day-school, too," said Alice; "you 
 needn't be so proud as all that." 
 
 "With extras?" asked the Mock Turtle, a little 
 anxiously. 
 
 " Yes," said Alice, " we learned French and music." 
 
 "And washing?" said the Mock Turtle. 
 
 " Certainly not ! ' said Alice, indignantly. 
 
 " Ah ! Then yours wasn't a really good school," 
 said the Mock Turtle, in a tone of great relief. " Xow 
 at ours they had at the end of the bill, ' French, music, 
 and icashing — extra.' " 
 
 " You couldn't have wanted it much," said Alice ; 
 " living at the bottom of the sea." 
 
 " I couldn't afford to learn it," said the Mock 
 Turtle, with a sigh. " I only took the regular 
 course." 
 
 " What was that ? " inquired Alice. 
 
 " Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with," 
 the Mock Turtle replied: "and then the different 
 branches of Arithmetic — Ambition, Distraction, Ug- 
 lification, and Derision." 
 
 " I never heard of ' Us'lification,' " Alice ventured 
 to say. " What is it ? " 
 
 The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. 
 "Never heard of uclifving!' it exclaimed. "You 
 know what to beautify is, I suppose ? " 
 
 " Yes," said Alice, doubtfully : " it means — to — 
 make — anything — prettier." 
 
 " Well, then," the Gryphon went on, " if you don't 
 know what to uglify is, you are a simpleton." 
 
THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 101 
 
 Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more ques- 
 tions about it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and 
 said, " What else had you to learn ? " 
 
 "Well, there was Mystery," the Mock Turtle re- 
 plied, counting off the subjects on his flappers, — " Mys- 
 tery, ancient and modern, with Seaography : then 
 Drawling — the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, 
 that used to come once a week : he taught us Drawling, 
 Stretching, and Fainting in Coils." 
 
 " What was that like ? " said Alice. 
 
 " Well, I can't show it you, myself," the Mock Tur- 
 tle said : " I'm too stiff. And the Gryphon never 
 learnt it." 
 
 " Hadn't time," said the Gryphon : " I went to the 
 Classical master, though. He was an old crab, he 
 was." 
 
 " I never went to him," the Mock Turtle said, with 
 a sigh: "he taught Laughing and Grief, they used to 
 say." 
 
 " So he did, so he did," said the Gryphon, sighing in 
 his turn, and both creatures hid their faces in their 
 paws. 
 
 " And how many hours a day did you do lessons ? " 
 said Alice, in a hurry to change the subject. 
 
 " Ten hours the first dav," said the Mock Turtle : 
 " nine the next, and so on." 
 
 " What a curious plan ! " exclaimed Alice. 
 
 " That's the reason they're called lessons," the Gry- 
 phon remarked : " because they lessen from day to 
 day." 
 
 This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought 
 it over a little before she made her next remark. 
 " Then the eleventh day must have been a holi- 
 day?" 
 
 " Of course it was," said the Mock Turtle. 
 
102 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 " And how did you manage on the twelfth ? " Alice 
 went on, eagerly. 
 
 " That's enough about lessons," the Gryphon inter- 
 rupted in a very decided tone : " tell her something 
 about the games now." 
 
 >^^^_^/ 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 
 
 The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back 
 of one flapper across his eyes. He looked at Alice and 
 tried to speak, but for a minute or two sobs choked his 
 voice. " Same as if he had a bone in his throat," said 
 the Gryphon, and it set to work shaking him and 
 punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle 
 recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his 
 cheeks, he went on again : — 
 
 " You may not have lived much under the sea — " 
 (" I haven't," said Alice) — " and perhaps you were 
 never even introduced to a lobster — " (Alice began to 
 say " I once tasted — " but checked herself hastily, and 
 said, " 'No, never") — "so you can have no idea what 
 a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is ! " 
 
 " No, indeed," said Alice. " What sort of a dance 
 is it ? " 
 
 " Why," said the Gryphon, " you' first form into a 
 line along the seashore — " 
 
 " Two lines ! " cried the Mock Turtle. " Seals, tur- 
 tles, salmon, and so on : then, when you've cleared all 
 the jelly-fish out of the way — " 
 
 ' That generally takes some time," interrupted the 
 Gryphon. 
 
 " — you advance twice — " 
 
 " Each with a lobster as a partner ! *' cried the Gry- 
 phon. 
 
 " Of course," the Mock Turtle said : " Advance 
 twice, set to partners — " 
 103 
 
104 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 u 
 
 1 — change lobsters, and retire in same order," con- 
 tinued the Gryphon. 
 
 " Then, you know," the Mock Turtle went on, " you 
 throw the — " 
 
 " The lobsters ! " shouted the Gryphon, with a bound 
 into the air. 
 
 " — as far out to sea as you can — " 
 
 '* Swim after them ! ' screamed the Gryphon. 
 
 " Turn a somersault in the sea ! ' ' cried the Mock 
 Turtle, capering wildly about. 
 
 " Change lobsters again ! ' yelled the Gryphon, at 
 the top of its voice. 
 
 " Back to land again, and — that's all the first fig- 
 ure," said the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his 
 voice, and the two creatures, who had been jumping 
 about like mad things all this time, sat down again very 
 sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice. 
 
 " It must be a very pretty dance," said Alice, tim- 
 idly. 
 
 " Would you like to see a little of it ? ' said the 
 Mock Turtle. 
 
 " Very much, indeed," said Alice. 
 
 " Come, let's try the first figure ! " said the Mock 
 Turtle to the Gryphon. " We can do it without lob- 
 sters, vou know. Which shall sing?" 
 
 " Oh, you sing," said the Gryphon. " I've forgot- 
 ten the words." 
 
 So they began solemnly dancing round and round 
 Alice, everv now and then treading on her toes when 
 they passed too close, and waving their fore-paws to 
 mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very 
 slowly and sadly : — 
 
 " Will you walk a little faster!" said a whiting to a 
 snail, 
 
THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 105 
 
 " There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's tread- 
 ing on my tail. 
 See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all ad- 
 vance ! 
 They are waiting on the shingle — will you come and 
 join the dance ? " 
 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you 
 
 join the dance? 
 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, ivon't you 
 join the dance? 
 
 ™ You can really have no notion how delightful it 
 
 ivill be 
 When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, 
 
 out to sea ! " 
 But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a 
 
 look askance — 
 Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not 
 
 join the dance. 
 Would not, could not, would not, could not, would 
 
 not join the dance. 
 Would not, could not, ivould not, could not, could 
 
 not join the dance. 
 
 'What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend 
 
 replied, 
 " There is another shore, you know, upon the other 
 
 side. 
 The further off from England the nearer is to 
 
 France; 
 Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join 
 the dance." 
 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you 
 
 join the dance? 
 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you 
 join the dance? 
 
100 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 " Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch," 
 said Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last; 
 " and I do so like that curious song about the whit- 
 ing ! » 
 
 " Oh, as to the whiting," said the Mock Turtle, 
 " thev — vou've seen them, of course ? " 
 
 " Yes," said Alice, " I've often seen them at 
 dinn — " she checked herself hastily. 
 
 " I don't know where Dinn may be," said the Mock 
 Turtle, " but if you've seen them so often, of course 
 vou know what they're like." 
 
 " I believe so," Alice replied thoughtfully. " They 
 have their tails in their mouths; — and they're all over 
 crumbs." 
 
 " You're wrong about the crumbs," said the Mock 
 Turtle: "crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But 
 they have their tails in their mouths; and the reason 
 is — " here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes. — 
 " Tell her about the reason and all that," he said to 
 the Gryphon. 
 
 " The reason is," said the Gryphon, " that they 
 would go with the lobsters to the dance. So they got 
 thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long way. 
 So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So they 
 couldn't get them out again. That's all." 
 
 " Thank you," said Alice, " it's very interesting. I 
 never knew so much about a whiting before." 
 
 " I can tell vou more than that, if you like," said 
 the Grvphon. " Do vou know whv it's called a whit- 
 
 1% 
 
 g?" 
 
 it 
 
 I never thought about it," said Alice. "Why?' : 
 "It does {lie boots and shoes/' the Gryphon replied 
 
 very solemnly. 
 
 Alice was thoroughly puzzled. " Does the boots and 
 
 shoes ! " she repeated in a wondering tone. 
 
THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 107 
 
 " Why, what are your shoes done with ? " said the 
 Gryphon. " I mean, what makes them so shiny ? " 
 
 Alice looked down at them, and considered a little 
 before she gave her answer. " They're done with black- 
 ing, I believe." 
 
 " Boots and shoes under the sea," the Gryphon went 
 on in a deep voice, " are done with whiting. !Now you 
 know." 
 
 " And what are they made of ? " Alice asked, in a 
 tone of great curiosity. 
 
 " Soles and eels, of course," the Gryphon replied, 
 rather impatiently : " any shrimp could have told you 
 that." 
 
 " If I'd been the whiting," said Alice, whose 
 thoughts were still running on the song, " I'd have said 
 to the porpoise, ' Keep back, please : we don't want 
 you with us ! ' " 
 
 " They were obliged to have him with 'them," the 
 Mock Turtle said : " no wise fish would go anywhere 
 without a porpoise." 
 
 " Wouldn't it really ? " said Alice, in a tone of great 
 surprise. 
 
 "Of course not," said the Mock Turtle: "why, if 
 a fish came to me, and told me he was going a journey, 
 I should say, ' With what porpoise ? ' " 
 
 " Don't you mean ' purpose ? ' " said Alice. 
 
 " I mean what I say," the Mock Turtle replied, in 
 an offended tone. And the Gryphon added, " Come, 
 let's hear some of your adventures." 
 
 " I could tell you my adventures — beginning from 
 this morning," said Alice, a little timidly : " but it's 
 no use going back to yesterday, because I was a differ- 
 ent person then." 
 
 " Explain all that," said the Mock Turtle. 
 
 " No, no ! the adventures first," said the Gryphon, in 
 
108 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 an impatient tone : " explanations take such a dreadful 
 time." 
 
 So Alice began telling them her adventures from the 
 time when she first saw the White Rabbit : she was a 
 little nervous about it just at first, the two creatures 
 got so close to her, one on each side, and opened their 
 eyes and mouths so very wide, but she gained courage 
 as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till 
 she got to the part about her repeating " You are old, 
 Father William/' to the Caterpillar, and the words all 
 coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a 
 long breath, and said, " That's very curious." 
 
 " It's all about as curious as it can be," said the 
 Gryphon. 
 
 " It all came different! " the Mock Turtle repeated, 
 thoughtfully. " I should like to hear her try and re- 
 peat something now. Tell her to begin." He looked 
 at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of 
 authority over Alice. 
 
 " Stand up and repeat ' 'Tis the voice of the slug- 
 gard/ " said the Gryphon. 
 
 " How the creatures order one about, and make one 
 repeat lessons ! " thought Alice. " I might just as well 
 be at school at once." However, she got up, and began 
 to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster 
 Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, 
 and the words came very queer indeed :— 
 
 'Tis the voice of the lobster; I heard him declare, 
 ' You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my 
 
 hair! ' 
 As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose 
 Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes/' 
 
 " That's different from what / used to say when I 
 was a child," said the Gryphon. 
 
THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 
 
 109 
 
 " Well, I never heard it before," said the Mock 
 Turtle ; " but it sounds uncommon nonsense." 
 
 Alice said nothing: she had sat down again with 
 her face in her hands, wondering if _ anything would 
 ever happen in a natural way again. 
 
 " I should like to have it explained," said the Mock 
 Turtle. 
 
 " She can't explain it," said the Gryphon, hastily. 
 " Go on with the next verse." 
 
 " But about his toes ? " the Mock Turtle persisted. 
 " How could he -turn them out with his nose, you 
 know ? " 
 
 "It's the first position in dancing," Alice said: but 
 
HO ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 she was dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and 
 longed to change the subject. 
 
 " Go on with the next verse," the Gryphon repeated, 
 impatiently : " it begins ' / passed by his garden. ' 
 
 Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure 
 it would all come wrong, and she went on in a trem- 
 bling voice : — 
 
 " I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, 
 How the owl and the oyster were sharing the pie — " 
 
 " What is the use of repeating all that stuff," the 
 Mock Turtle interrupted, " if you don't explain it as 
 you go on ? It's by far the most confusing thing I 
 ever heard ! " 
 
 " Yes, I think you'd better leave off," said the Gry- 
 phon, and Alice was only too glad to do so. 
 
 " Shall we try another figure of the Lobster 
 Quadrille ? " the Gryphon went on. " Or would you 
 like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song ? " 
 
 " Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be 
 so kind," Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon 
 said, in a rather offended tone, " ITm ! No account- 
 ing for tastes ! Sing her ' Turtle Soup,' will you, old 
 fellow ? " 
 
 The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a 
 voice sometimes choked with sobs, to sing this : — 
 
 " Beaut if id Soup, so rich and green, 
 Waiting in a hot tureen! 
 Who for such dainties would not stoop? 
 Soup of the Evening, beautiful Soup! 
 Soup of the Evening, beautiful Soup! 
 
 Beau — ootiful Soo — oop! 
 
 Beau — ootiful Soo — oop! 
 Soo — oop of the e — e — evening, 
 
 Beautiful, beautiful Soup! 
 
THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. m 
 
 Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, 
 Game, or any other dish? 
 Who would not give all else for two p 
 enny worth only of beautiful Soup? 
 Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? 
 
 Beau — o o t ifu I So o — o op! 
 
 Beau — ootifid Soo — oop! 
 Soo — oop of the e — e — evening, 
 
 Beautiful, beauti—FUL SOUP!" 
 
 u 
 
 Chorus again ! " cried the Gryphon, and the Mock 
 Turtle had just begun to repeat it, when a cry of " The 
 trial's beginning ! " was heard in the distance. 
 
 " Come on ! " cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice 
 by the hand, it hurried off, without waiting for the end 
 of the song. 
 
 " What trial is it ? " Alice panted as she ran, but 
 the Gryphon only answered, " Come on ! " and ran the 
 faster, while more and more faintly came, carried on 
 the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words : — 
 
 Soo — oop of the e — e — evening, 
 Beautifid, beautiful Soup! 
 
 
CHAPTER XL 
 
 WHO STOLE THE TARTS. 
 
 The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on 
 their throne when they arrived, with a great crowd 
 assembled about them — all sorts of little birds and 
 beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards : the Knave 
 was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier 
 on each side to guard him ; and near the King was 
 the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and 
 a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very mid- 
 dle of the court was a table, with a large dish of tarts 
 upon it : they looked so good, that it made Alice quite 
 hungry to look at them — " I wish they'd get the trial 
 done," she thought, " and hand round the refresh- 
 ments ! ' But there seemed to be no chance of this, so 
 she began looking at everything about her to pass away 
 the time. 
 
 Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but 
 she had read about them in books, and she was quite 
 pleased to find that she knew the name of nearly every- 
 thing there. " That's the judge," she said to herself, 
 " because of his great wig." 
 
 The judge, by the way, was the King, and as he 
 wore his crown over the wig, (look at the frontispiece 
 if you want to see how he did it,) he did not look at all 
 comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming. 
 
 " And that's the jury-box," thought Alice, " and 
 those twelve creatures," (she was obliged to say " crea- 
 112 
 
WHO STOLE THE TARTS? H3 
 
 tures," you see, because some of them were animals, 
 and some were birds,) " I suppose they are the jurors." 
 She said this last word two or three times over to her- 
 self, being rather proud of it : for she thought, and 
 rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew 
 the meaning of it at all. However, " jurymen " would 
 have done just as well. 
 
 The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on 
 slates. " What are they doing ? " Alice whispered to 
 the Gryphon. " They can't have anything to put down 
 yet, before the trial's begun." 
 
 " They're putting down their names," the Gryphon 
 whispered in reply, " for fear they should forget them 
 before the end of the trial." 
 
 " Stupid things ! " Alice began in a loud, indignant 
 voice, but she stopped herself hastily, for the White 
 Rabbit cried out, " Silence in the court ! " and the 
 King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, 
 to make out who was talking. 
 
 Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over 
 their shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down 
 " stupid things ! " on their slates, and she could even 
 make out that one of them didn't know how to spell 
 " stupid," and that he had to ask his neighbor to tell 
 him. " A nice muddle their slates'll be in before the 
 trial's over ! " thought Alice. 
 
 One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This, 
 of course, Alice could not stand, and she went round 
 the court and got behind him, and very soon found an 
 opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly 
 that the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could 
 not make out at all what had become of it ; so, after 
 hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write with 
 one finger for the rest of the day ; and this was of very 
 little use, as it left no mark on the slate. 
 8 
 
114 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 <k Herald, read the accusation ! " said the King. 
 
 On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the 
 trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment scroll, and 
 read as follows : — 
 
 " The Queen of Hearts, she 7>iade some tarts, 
 All on a summer day: 
 The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, 
 And took them quite away!" 
 
 a 
 
 Consider your verdict," the King said to his jury. 
 
 " Not yet, not yet ! " the Rabbit hastily interrupted. 
 " There's a great deal to come before that ! ' 
 
 "Call the first witness," said the King; and the 
 White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and 
 called out, " First witness ! " 
 
 The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with 
 
WHO STOLE THE TARTS ? 115 
 
 a teacup in one hand, and a piece of bread and butter 
 in the other. " I beg pardon, your Majesty," he began, 
 " for bringing these m : but I hadn't quite finished my 
 tea when I was sent for." 
 
 " You ought to have finished," said the King. 
 " When did you begin ? " 
 
 The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had 
 followed him into the court, arm-in-arm with the Dor- 
 mouse. " Fourteenth of March, I think it was," he 
 said. 
 
 " Fifteenth," said the March Hare. 
 
 " Sixteenth," added the Dormouse. 
 
 " Write that down," the King said to the jury, and 
 the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their 
 slates, and then added them up, and reduced the an- 
 swer to shillings and pence. 
 
 " Take off your hat," the Kino- said to the Hatter. 
 
 " It isn't mine," said the Hatter. 
 
 'Stolen! " the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, 
 who instantly made a memorandum of the fact. 
 
 " I keep them to sell," the Hatter added, as an ex- 
 planation : " I've none of my own. I'm a hatter." 
 
 Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began 
 staring hard at the Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted. 
 
 ""'Give your evidence," said the King; "and don't 
 be nervous, or I'll have you executed on the spot." 
 
 This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: 
 he kept shifting from one foot to the other, looking 
 uneasily at the Queen, and in his confusion he bit a 
 large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread and 
 butter. 
 
 Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sen- 
 sation, which puzzled her a good deal until she made 
 out what it was : she was beginning to grow larger 
 again, and she thought at first she would get up and 
 
growing 
 
 u 
 
 116 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 leave the court ; but on second thoughts she decided to 
 remain where she was as long as there was room for 
 her. 
 
 " I wish you wouldn't squeeze so," said the Dor- 
 mouse, who was sitting next to her. " I can hardly 
 breathe." 
 
 "I can't help it," said Alice, very meekly: "I'm 
 ring." 
 
 You've no right to grow here," said the Dormouse. 
 Don't talk nonsense," said Alice more boldly: 
 " you know you're growing, too." 
 
 " Yes, but / grow at a reasonable pace," said the 
 Dormouse : " not in that ridiculous fashion." And 
 he sot up very sulkily and crossed over to the other 
 side of the court. 
 
 All this time the Queen had never left off staring 
 at the Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the 
 court, she said to one of the officers of the court, 
 " Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert ! ' 
 on which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he 
 shook both his shoes off. 
 
 " Give your evidence," the King repeated angrily, 
 11 or I'll have you executed, whether vou're nervous or 
 not." 
 
 " I'm a poor man, your Majesty," the Hatter began 
 in a trembling voice, " and I hadn't but just begun 
 my tea— not above a week or so — and what with the 
 bread and butter getting so thin — and the twinkling of 
 
 CO O 
 
 the tea " 
 
 "The twinkling of the wliat? " said the King. 
 " It hcrjan with the tea," the Hatter replied. 
 " Of course twinkling begins with a T ! " said the 
 King sharply. " Do you take me for a dunce ? Go 
 
 on!" 
 
 " I'm a poor man," the Hatter went on, " and most 
 
WHO STOLE THE TARTS? 
 
 117 
 
 things twinkled after that — only the March Hare 
 said " 
 
 " I didn't! " the March Hare interrupted, in a great 
 hurry. 
 
 " You did ! " said the Hatter. 
 
 " I deny it ! " said the March Hare. 
 
 " He denies it," said the King: "leave out that 
 part." 
 
 " Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said — " the Hatter 
 
 went on, looking anxiously round to see if he would 
 deny it too : but the Dormouse denied nothing, being 
 fast asleep. 
 
 " After that," continued the Hatter, " I cut some 
 more bread and butter " 
 
 " But what did the Dormouse say ? " one of the jury 
 asked. 
 
 " That I can't remember," said the Hatter. 
 
 " You must remember," remarked the King, " or 
 I'll have you executed." 
 
113 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread 
 and butter, and went down on one knee. " I'm a poor 
 man, your majesty," he began. 
 
 " You're a very poor speaker/' said the King. 
 
 Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was imme- 
 diately suppressed by the officers of the court. (As 
 that is rather a hard word, I will just explain to you 
 how it was done. They had a large canvas bag, which 
 tied up at the mouth with strings : into this they slipped 
 the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon it.) 
 
 " I'm glad I've seen that done," thought Alice. 
 " I've so often read in the newspapers, at the end of 
 trials, ' There was some attempt at applause, which 
 was immediately suppressed by the officers of the 
 court,' and I never understood what it meant till 
 now." 
 
 " If that's all vou know about it, you may stand 
 down," continued the King. 
 
 "I can't go no lower," said the Hatter: " I'm on 
 the floor, as it is." 
 
 " Then you may sit down," the King replied. 
 
 Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was sup- 
 pressed. 
 
 " Come, that finishes the guinea-pigs ! " thought 
 Alice. " Xow we shall get on better." 
 
 " I'd rather finish my tea," said the Hatter, with an 
 anxious look at the Queen, who was reading the list 
 of singers. 
 
 " You may go," said the King, and the Hatter hur- 
 riedly left the court, without even waiting to put his 
 shoes on. 
 
 " and just take his head off outside," the Queen 
 
 added to one of the officers ; but the Hatter was out 
 of sight before the officer could get to the door. 
 
 " Call the next witness ! " said the King. 
 
WHO STOLE THE TARTS? 
 
 119 
 
 The next witness was the Duchess' cook. She car- 
 ried the pepper-box in her hand ; and Alice guessed 
 who it was, even before she got into the court, by the 
 way the people near the door began sneezing all at 
 once. 
 
 " Give your evidence," said the King. 
 
 " Shan't," said the cook. 
 
 The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, 
 who said in a low voice, " Your Majesty must cross- 
 examine this witness." 
 
 a 
 
 Well, if I must, I must," the King said with a 
 melancholy air, and, after folding his arms and frown- 
 ing at the cook till his eyes were nearly out of sight, 
 he said in a deep voice, " What are tarts made of?" 
 
 " Pepper, mostly," said the cook. 
 
 " Treacle," said a sleepy voice behind her. 
 
 " Collar that Dormouse ! " the Queen shrieked out. 
 " Behead that Dormouse ! Turn that Dormouse out 
 of court ! Suppress him ! Pinch him ! Off with his 
 whiskers ! " 
 
 For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, 
 getting the Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they 
 had settled down again, the cook had disappeared. 
 
120 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 " Never mind ! " said the King, with an air of great 
 relief. " Call the next witness." And he added in an 
 undertone to the Queen, " Keally, my dear, you must 
 cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my 
 forehead ache ! " 
 
 Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled ever 
 the list, feeling very curious to see what the next wit- 
 ness would be like, " — for they haven't got much evi- 
 dence yet" she said to herself. Imagine her surprise, 
 when the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill 
 little voice, the name " Alice ! " 
 
CHAPTEK XII. 
 
 Alice's evidence. 
 
 " Here ! " cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry 
 of the moment how large she had grown in the last 
 few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that 
 she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, 
 upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd 
 below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding 
 her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accident- 
 ally upset the week before. 
 
 " Oh, I beg your pardon ! " she exclaimed in a tone 
 of great dismay, and began picking them up again as 
 quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish 
 kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of 
 idea that they must be collected at once and put back 
 into the jury-box, or they would die. 
 
 " The trial cannot proceed," said the King, in a very 
 grave voice, " until all the jurymen are back in their 
 proper places — all" he repeated with great emphasis, 
 looking hard at Alice as he said so. 
 
 Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her 
 haste, she had put the Lizard in head downwards, and 
 the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a mel- 
 ancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon 
 got it out again, and put it right ; " not that it signifies 
 much," she said to herself; " I should think it would 
 be quite as much use in the trial one way up as the 
 other." 
 
 As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the 
 shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had 
 121 
 
122 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 been found and handed back to them, they set to work 
 very diligently to write out a history of the accident, 
 all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome 
 to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing 
 up into the roof of the court. 
 
 " What do you know about this business ? " the King 
 said to Alice. 
 
 " Nothing," said Alice. 
 
 "Nothing whatever?" persisted the King. 
 
 Nothing whatever," said Alice. 
 
 That's very important," the King said, turning to 
 
 
ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 123 
 
 the jury. They were just beginning to write this down 
 on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted : 
 " Cniinportant, your Majesty means, of course," he 
 said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making 
 faces at him as he spoke. 
 
 " E/mmportant, of course, I meant," the King has- 
 tily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, " im- 
 portant — unimportant — unimportant — important " 
 
 as if he were trying which word sounded best. 
 
 Some of the jury wrote it down " important," and 
 some " unimportant." Alice could see this, as she 
 was near enough to look over their slates ; " but it 
 doesn't matter a bit," she thought to herself. 
 
 At this moment the King, who had been for some 
 time busily writing in his notebook, called out 
 " Silence ! " and read out from his book, " Rule Forty- 
 two. All persons more than a mile high to leave the 
 court." 
 
 Everybody looked at Alice. 
 
 " I'm not a mile high," said Alice. 
 
 " You are," said the King. 
 
 " Nearly two miles high," added the Queen. 
 
 " Well, I shan't go, at any rate," said Alice ; " be- 
 sides, that's not a regular rule: you invented it just 
 now." 
 
 " It's the oldest rule in the book," said the King. 
 
 " Then it ought to be Number One," said Alice. 
 
 The King turned pale, and shut his notebook hastily. 
 " Consider your verdict," he said to the jury, in a low, 
 trembling voice. 
 
 " There's more evidence to come yet, please your 
 Majesty," said the White Rabbit, jumping up in a 
 great hurry ; " this paper has just been picked up." 
 
 "WTiat's in it?" said the Queen. 
 
 " I haven't opened it yet," said the White Rabbit, 
 
124 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 " but it seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner to 
 — to somebody." 
 
 " It must have been that," said the King, " unless 
 it was written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know." 
 
 " Who is it directed to ( " said one of the juryman. 
 
 "It isn't directed at all," said the White Rabbit; 
 " in fact, there's nothing written on the outside." He 
 unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added, " It isn't 
 a letter after all : it's a set of verses." 
 
 " Are they in the prisoner's handwriting ? ' : asked 
 another of the jurymen. 
 
 " Xo, they're not," said the White Rabbit, "and 
 that's the queerest thing about it." (The jury all 
 looked puzzled.) 
 
 " He must have imitated somebody else's hand," said 
 the King. (The jury all brightened up again.) 
 
 " Please your majesty," said the Knave, " I didn't 
 write it, and they can't prove I did : there's no name 
 signed at the end." 
 
 " If you didn't sign it," said the King, " that only 
 makes the matter worse. You must have meant some 
 mischief, or else you'd have signed your name like an 
 honest man." 
 
 There was a general clapping of hands at this: it 
 was the first reallv clever thing the King had said that 
 day. 
 
 " That proves his guilt," said the Queen. 
 
 " It proves nothing of the sort ! " said Alice. " Why, 
 vou don't even know what they're about ! " 
 
 " Read them," said the King. 
 
 The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. " Where 
 shall I begin, please your Majesty I" he asked. 
 
 " Begin at the beginning," the King said, gravely, 
 " and go on till you come to the end : then stop." 
 
 These were the verses the White Rabbit read : — 
 
ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 125 
 
 " They told me you had teen to her, 
 And mentioned me to him: 
 She gave me a good character, ( 
 
 But said I could not swim. 
 
 . He sent them word I had not gone 
 (We know it to be true) : 
 If she should push the matter on, 
 What would become of you? 
 
 I gave her one, they gave him two, 
 
 You gave us three or more; 
 They all returned from him to you, 
 
 Though they were mine before. 
 
 If I or she should chance to be 
 
 Involved in this affair, 
 He trusts to you to set them free, 
 
 Exactly as we were. 
 
 My notion was that you had been 
 
 (Before she had this fit) 
 An obstacle that came between 
 
 Him, and ourselves, and it. 
 
 Don't let him knoiv she liked them best, 
 
 For this must ever be 
 A secret, kept from all the rest, 
 
 Between yourself and me." 
 
 " That's the most important piece of evidence we've 
 heard yet," said the King, rubbing his hands ; " so now 
 let the jury " 
 
 " If any one of them can explain it," said Alice, 
 (she had grown so large in the last few minutes that 
 
12(5 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting him,) " I'll 
 give him sixpence. I don't believe there's an atom of 
 meaning in it." 
 
 The jury all wrote down on their slates, ' f She 
 doesn't believe there's an atom of meaning in it," but 
 none of them attempted to explain the paper. 
 
 " If there's no meaning in it," said the -King, " that 
 saves a world of trouble, vou know, as we needn't 
 try to find any. And yet I don't know," he went on, 
 spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at 
 them with one eye ; " I seem to see some meaning in 
 them, after all. ' — said I could not swim — ' you can't 
 swim, can you ? " he added, turning to the Knave. 
 
 The Knave shook his head sadly. " Do I look like 
 it?" he said. (Which he certainly did not, being 
 made entirely of cardboard." 
 
 " All right, so far," said the King, and he went 
 on muttering over the verses to himself: ' ' We know 
 it to he true — ' that's the jury, of course — ' I gave her 
 one, they gave him two — ' why, that must be what he 
 did with the tarts, you know — " 
 
 ''But it goes on 'they all returned from him to 
 you' " said Alice. 
 
 "Why, there they arc!' said the King, trium- 
 phantly, pointing to the tarts on the table. " Noth- 
 ing can be clearer than that. Then again — ' before she 
 had this fit — ' you never had fits, my dear, I think? " 
 he said to the Queen. 
 
 "Never!" said the Queen furiously, throwing an 
 inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortu- 
 nate little Bill had left off writing on his slate with one 
 finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily 
 began again, using the ink, that was trickling down 
 his face, as long as it lasted.) 
 
 " Then the words don't fit you," said the King, look- 
 
ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 
 
 127 
 
 ing round the 
 court with a smile. 
 There was a dead 
 silence. 
 
 " It's a pun! " 
 the King added in 
 an angry tone, 
 a n d everybody 
 laughed. " Let 
 the jury consider 
 their verdict, ' ' the 
 King said, for 
 about the twenti- 
 eth time that day. 
 
 "No, no! "said 
 the Queen. "Sen- 
 
 tence first — verdict afterward? . " 
 
 "Stuff and nonsense!" said Alice loudly. "The 
 idea of havinc; the sentence first ! " 
 
 -o 
 
 " Hold your tongue ! " said the Queen, turning pur- 
 ple. 
 
 " I won't ! " said Alice. 
 
 " Off with her head ! " the Queen shouted at the top 
 of her voice. Nobody moved. 
 
 "Who cares for you?" said Alice (she had growjn 
 
128 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 to her full size by this time.) " You're nothing but . 
 pack of cards ! " *" 
 
 At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and 
 came flying down upon her; she gave a little scream, 
 half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them 
 off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head 
 in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away 
 some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the 
 trees on to her face. 
 
 "Wake up, Alice, dear!" said her sister; " why, 
 what a long sleep you've had ! " 
 
 "Oh, I've had such a curious dream! " said Alice, 
 and she told her sister, as well as she could remember 
 them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you 
 have just been reading about; and when she had fin- 
 ished, her sister kissed her, and said, " It was a curious 
 dream, dear, certainly : but now run in to your tea ; 
 it's getting late." So Alice got up and ran off, thinking 
 while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful 
 dream it had been. 
 
 But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning 
 her head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and 
 thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adven- 
 tures, till she too began dreaming, after a fashion, 
 and this was her dream : — ■ 
 
 First, she dreamed of little Alice herself: — once 
 again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and 
 the bright, eager eyes were looking into hers — she could 
 hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer 
 little toss of her head, to keep back the wandering hair 
 that would always get into her eyes — and still as she 
 listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around 
 
ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 
 
 129 
 
 her became alive with the strange creatures of her little 
 sister's dream. 
 
 The long grass rustled at her feet as the White 
 Rabbit hurried by — the frightened Mouse splashed his 
 
 way through the neighboring pool — she could hear the 
 rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends 
 shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of 
 the Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to execu- 
 
130 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
 tion — once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the 
 Duchess' knee, while plates and dishes crashed around 
 it — once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeak- 
 ing of the Lizard's slate pencil, and the choking of the 
 suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with 
 the distant sob of the miserable Mock Turtle. 
 
 So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed 
 herself in Wonderland, though she knew she had but 
 to open them again and all would change to dull reality 
 — the grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the 
 pool rippling to the waving of the reeds — the rattling 
 teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the 
 Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boy 
 — and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gry- 
 phon, and all the other queer noises, would change 
 (she knew) to the confused clamor of the busy farm- 
 yard — while the lowing of the cattle in the distance 
 would take the place of the Mock Turtle's heavy sobs. 
 
 Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little 
 sister of hers would, in the after time, be herself a 
 grown woman; and how she would keep, through all 
 her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her 
 childhood : and how she would gather about her other 
 little children, and make their eyes bright and eager 
 with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream 
 of Wonderland of long ago : and how she would feel 
 with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in 
 all their simple joys, remembering her own child life, 
 and the happy summer days. 
 
 THE END. 
 
DRAMATIS PERSONS. 
 
 (As arranged before commencement of game.) 
 
 White, 
 pieces. PAWNS. 
 
 Tweedledee Daisy. 
 
 Unicorn Haigha. 
 
 Sheep Oyster. 
 
 W. Queen "Lily." 
 
 W. King Fawn. 
 
 Aged man Oyster. 
 
 W. Knight Hatta. 
 
 Tweedledum Daisy. 
 
 Red. 
 
 pawns. 
 
 PIECES. 
 
 Daisy Humpty Dumpty. 
 
 Messenger.. Carpenter. 
 
 Oyster Walrus. 
 
 Tiger-lily . . . . R. Queen. 
 
 Rose R. King. 
 
 Oyster Crow. 
 
 Frog .R. Knight. 
 
 Daisy Lion. 
 
RED. 
 BUt HI: ^ 1 
 
 ■ ■ ** m 
 « ill «§ 
 
 RS» Hi I 
 
 ssj §11 111 $\ 111 
 
 ^^ NN v ^iii! W,® iiiif 
 
 ;< ™J III 
 
 
 WHITE. 
 
 White Pawn {Alice) to play, and win in eleven moves 
 
 PAGE 
 
 1. Alice meets R. Q 40 
 
 2. Alice through Q.'s 3d (by rail- 
 
 way) 50 
 
 to Q.'s 4th (Tweedledum and 
 Tweedledee) 55 
 
 3. Alice meets W.Q. (with shawl). 84 
 
 4. Alice to Q.'s 5th (shop, river, 
 
 shop) 92 
 
 5. Alice to Q.'s 6th (Humpty 
 
 Dumpty) 101 
 
 6. Alice to Q.'s 7th (forest) 135 
 
 7. W. Kt. takes R. Kt 140 
 
 8. Alice to Q.'s 8th (coronation). 158 
 
 9. Alice becomes Queen 167 
 
 10. Alice's castles (feast) 174 
 
 11. Alice takes R. Q. and wins.... 183 
 
 PAGE 
 
 1. R. Q. to K. R.'s 4th 48 
 
 2. W. Q, to Q. B.'s 4th (after 
 
 shaivl), 84 
 
 3. W. Q. to Q. B.'s 5th (becomes 
 
 sheep) 91 
 
 4. W. Q. to K. B.'s 8th (leaves 
 
 egg on shelf) 100 
 
 5. W. Q. to Q. B.'s 8th (flying 
 
 from R. Kt.) 180 
 
 6. R Kt. toK.'s2d (ch.) 138 
 
 7. W. Kt. toK. B.'s 5th 167 
 
 8. R. Q. to K.'s sq. (examination) 160 
 
 9. Queenscastle 170 
 
 10. W. Q. to Q. R. 6th (soup) 118 
 
Child of the pure unclouded brow 
 And dreaming eyes of wonder! 
 
 Though time he fleet, and I and thou 
 Are half a life asunder, 
 
 Thy loving smile will surely hail 
 
 The love-gift of a fairy-tale. 
 
 I have not seen thy sunny face, 
 ISTor heard thy silver laughter; 
 
 ISTo thought of me shall find a place 
 In thy young life's hereafter- 
 
 Enough that now thou wilt not fail 
 To listen to my fairv-tale. 
 
 A tale begun in other days, 
 
 When summer suns were glowing — 
 A simple chime, that served to time 
 
 The rhythm of our rowing 
 
 Whose echoes live in memory yet, 
 
 Though envious years would say " forget." 
 
 Come, hearken then, ere voice of dread, 
 
 With bitter tidings laden, 
 Shall summon to unwelcome bed 
 
 A melancholy maiden ! 
 We are but older children, dear, 
 Who fret to find our bedtime near. 
 
 135 
 
Without, the frost, the blinding snow, 
 The storm-wind's moody madness 
 
 Within, the firelight's ruddy glow 
 And childhood's nest of gladness. 
 
 The magic words shall hold thee fast: 
 
 Thou shalt not heed the raving blast. 
 
 And though the shadow of a sigh 
 May tremble through the story, 
 
 For " happy summer days " gone by, 
 And vanish'd summer glory 
 
 It shall not touch with breath of bal 
 The pleasance of our fairy-tale. 
 
 136 
 
CHAPTER I. 
 
 LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 
 
 One thing was certain, that the white kitten had 
 
 had nothing to do with it : it was the black kitten's 
 
 fault entirely. For the white kitten had been having 
 its face washed by the old cat for the last quarter of 
 an hour (and bearing it pretty well, considering) ; so 
 you see that it couldn't have had any hand in the mis- 
 chief. 
 
 The way Dinah washed her children's faces was this : 
 first she held the poor thing down by its ear with one 
 paw, and then with the other paw she rubbed its face 
 all over, the wrong way, beginning at the nose : and 
 just now, as I said, she was hard at work on the white 
 kitten, which was lying quite still and trying to purr 
 no doubt feeling that it was all meant for its good. 
 
 But the black kitten had been finished with earlier 
 in the afternoon, and so, while Alice was sitting curled 
 up in a corner of the great arm-chair, half talking to 
 
 . 137 
 
138 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 herself and half asleep, the kitten had been having a 
 grand game of romps with the ball of worsted Alice 
 had been trying to wind up, and had been rolling it 
 up and down till it had all come undone again ; and 
 there it was, spread over the hearth-rug, all knots and 
 tangles, with the kitten running after its own tail in 
 the middle. 
 
 " Oh, you wicked, wicked little thing ! " cried Alice, 
 catching up the kitten and giving it a little kiss to 
 make it understand that it was in disgrace. " Really, 
 Dinah ought to have taught you better manners ! You 
 ought, Dinah, you know you ought! " she added, look- 
 ing reproachfully at the old cat, and speaking in as cross 
 a voice as she could manage and then she scram- 
 bled back into the armchair, taking the kitten and the 
 worsted with her, and began winding up the ball again. 
 But she didn't get on very fast, as she was talking all 
 the time, sometimes to the kitten, and sometimes to her- 
 self. Kitty sat very demurely on her knee, pretending 
 to watch the progress of the winding, and now and then 
 putting out one paw and gently touching the ball, as 
 if it would be glad to help if it might. 
 
 " Do you know what to-morrow is, Kitty ? ' : ' Alice 
 began. " You'd have guessed if you'd been up in the 
 
 window with me only Dinah was making you tidy, 
 
 so you couldn't. I was watching the boys getting in 
 
 sticks for the bonfire and it wants plenty of sticks, 
 
 Kitty ! Only it got so cold, and it snowed so, they 
 had to leave off. !N"ever mind, Kitty, we'll go and 
 see the bonfire to-morrow." Here Alice wound two or 
 three turns of the worsted round the kitten's neck, 
 just to see how it would look : this led to a scramble, in 
 which the ball rolled down upon the floor, and yards 
 and yards of it got unwound again. 
 
 " Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty," Alice went on r 
 
LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 
 
 139 
 
 as soon as they were comfortably settled again, " when 
 I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very 
 nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the 
 snow ! And you'd have deserved it, you little mis- 
 chievous darling! What have you got to say for your- 
 self \ jSTow don't interrupt me ! " she went on, holding 
 
 up one finger. " I'm going to tell you all your faults. 
 Number one: you squeaked twice while Dinah was 
 washing your face this morning. Now you can't deny 
 it, Kitty: I heard you! What's that you say?" (pre- 
 tending that the kitten was speaking). " Her paw 
 
140 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 Went into your eye ? Well, that's your fault, for keep- 
 ing your eyes open if you'd shut them tight up, it 
 
 wouldn't have happened. Now, don't make any more 
 excuses, but listen! Number two: you pulled Snow- 
 drop away Iry the tail just as I had put down the saucer 
 of milk before her ! What, you were thirsty, were 
 you ? How do you know she wasn't thirsty, too '( Now 
 for number three : you unwound every bit of the wor- 
 sted while I wasn't looking! 
 
 " That's three faults, Kitty, and you've not been 
 punished for any of them yet. You know I'm saving 
 up all your punishments for Wednesday week Sup- 
 pose they had saved up all my punishments ! ' she 
 went on, talking more to herself than the kitten. 
 " What would they do at the end of a year ? I should be 
 
 sent to prison, I suppose, when the day came. Or 
 
 let me see suppose each punishment was to be going 
 
 without a dinner: then, when the miserable day came, 
 I should have to go without fifty dinners at once! 
 Well, I shouldn't mind that much! I'd far rather go 
 without them than eat them ! 
 
 " Do you hear the snow against the window-panes, 
 Kitty ? How nice and soft it sounds ! Just as if some 
 one was kissing the window all over outside. I wonder 
 if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them 
 so gently ? And then it covers them up snug, you 
 know, with a white quilt ; and perhaps it says, ' Go 
 to sleep, darlings, till the summer conies again.' And 
 when they wake up in the summer, Kitty, they dress 
 
 themselves all in green, and dance about whenever 
 
 the wind blows oh, that's very pretty ! " cried Alice, 
 
 dropping the ball of worsted to clap her hands. " And 
 I do so wish it was true ! I'm sure the woods look 
 sleepy in the autumn, when the leaves are getting 
 brown. 
 
LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 141 
 
 " Kitty, can you play chess ? Now, don't smile, ray 
 dear, I'm asking it seriously. Because, when we were 
 playing just now, you watched just as if you under- 
 stood it : and when I said c Check ! ' you purred ! Well, 
 it was a nice check, Kitty, and really I might have won, 
 if it hadn't been for that nasty Knight, that came wrig- 
 gling down among my pieces. Kitty, dear, let's pre- 
 tend -" And here I wish I could tell you half the 
 
 things Alice used to say, beginning with her favorite 
 phrase, " Let's pretend." She had had quite a long 
 argument with her sister only the day before all be- 
 cause Alice had begun with " Let's pretend we're kings 
 and queens ; " and her sister, who liked being very 
 exact, had argued that they couldn't, because there were 
 only two of them, and Alice had been reduced at last to 
 say, " Well, you can be one of them, then, and Til be 
 all the rest." And once she had really frightened her 
 old nurse by shouting suddenly in her ear, " Nurse ! 
 Do let's pretend that I'm a hungry hyama, and you're 
 a bone ! " 
 
 But this is taking us away from Alice's speech to 
 the kitten. " Let's pretend that you're the Keel Queen, 
 Kitty ! Do you know, I think if you sat up and folded 
 your arms, you'd look exactly like her. Now do try, 
 there's a dear ! ' : And Alice got the Red Queen off 
 the table, and set it up before the kitten as a model 
 for it to imitate: however, the thing didn't succeed, 
 principally, Alice said, because the kitten wouldn't 
 fold its arms properly. So, to punish it, she held it up 
 to the Looking-glass, that it might see how sulky it 
 
 was " and if you're not good directly," she added, 
 
 " I'll put you through into Looking-glass House. How 
 would you like that? 
 
 " Now, if you'll only attend, Kitty, and not talk 
 so much, I'll tell you all my ideas about Looking-glass 
 
142 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 House. First, there's the room you can see through 
 
 the glass that's just the same as our drawing-room, 
 
 only the things go the other way. I can see all of it 
 
 when I get upon a chair— all but the bit just behind 
 
 the fireplace. Oh! I do wish I could see that bit! I 
 want so much to know whether they've a fire in the win- 
 ter: you never can tell, you know, unless our fire 
 
 smokes, and then smoke comes up in that room too 
 
 but that may be only pretence, just to make it look as 
 if they had a fire. Well then, the books are some- 
 thing like our books, only the words go the wrong way ; 
 I know that, because I've held up one of our books to 
 the glass, and then they hold up one in the other room. 
 
 " How would you like to live in Looking-glass 
 House, Kitty ? I wonder if thev'd give vou milk in 
 there ? Perhaps Looking-glass milk isn't good to drink 
 
 But oh, Kitty ! now we come to the passage. You 
 
 can just see a little peep of the passage in Looking- 
 glass House, if you leave the door of our drawing-room 
 wide open : and it's very like our passage as far as you 
 can see, only you know it may be quite different on 
 beyond. Oh, Kitty! how nice it would be if we could 
 only get through into Looking-glass House ! I'm sure 
 it's got, oh ! such beautiful things in it ! Let's pretend 
 there's a way of getting through into it, somehow, 
 Kitty. Let's pretend the glass has got all soft like 
 gauze, so that we can get through. Why, it's turning 
 into mist now, I declare ! It'll be easy enough to get 
 
 through " She was up on the chimney-piece while 
 
 she said this, though she hardlv knew how she had got 
 there. And certainly the glass urns beginning to melt 
 away, just like a bright silvery mist. 
 
 In another moment Alice was through the glass, and 
 had jumped lightly down into the Looking-glass room. 
 The very first thing she did was to look whether there 
 
LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 
 
 i < ■ 
 
 was a fire in the fireplace, and she was quite pleased 
 to find that there was a real one, blazing away as 
 brightly as the one she had left behind. " So I shall be 
 as warm here as I was in the old room," thought Alice : 
 " warmer, in fact, because there'll be no one here to 
 
 scold me away from the fire. Oh, what fun it'll be, 
 when they see me through the glass in here, and can't 
 get at me ! " 
 
 Then she began looking about, and noticed that what 
 could be seen from the old room was quite common 
 
1U 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 and uninteresting, but that all the rest was as different 
 as possible. For instance, the pictures on the Avail next 
 the fire seemed to be all alive, and the very clock on the 
 chimney-piece (you know you can only see the back 
 of it in the Looking-glass) had got the face of a little 
 old man, and grinned at her. 
 
 " They don't keep this room so tidy as the other," 
 Alice thought to herself,' as she noticed several of the 
 chessmen down in the hearth among the cinders: but 
 in another moment, with a little." Oh !_/' of surprise, 
 
LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 
 
 145 
 
 she went down on her hands and knees watching them. 
 The chessmen were walking about, two and two ! 
 
 " Here are the Red King and the Red Queen/' Alice 
 said (in a whisper, for fear of frightening them), 
 " and there are the White King and the White Queen 
 sitting on the edge of the shovel- 
 Castles walking arm in arm— 
 
 —and here are two 
 -I don't think they can 
 
 hear me," she went on, as she put her head closer 
 down, " and I'm nearly sure they can't see me. I feel 
 somehow as if I were invisible— 
 
 ?> 
 
 Here something began squeaking on the table be- 
 hind Alice, and made her turn her head just in time to 
 see one of the White Pawns roll over and begin kick- 
 ing: she watched it with great curiosity to see what 
 would happen next. 
 
 " It is the voice of my child ! " the White Queen 
 cried out, as she rushed past the King, so violently that 
 she knocked him over among the cinders. " ]\[y pre- 
 cious Lily ! My imperial kitten ! " and she began 
 scrambling wildly up the side of the fender. 
 
 " Imperial fiddlestick ! " said the King, rubbing his 
 10 
 
 s 
 
146 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 nose, which had been hurt by the fall. He had a right 
 to be a little annoyed with the Queen, for he was cov- 
 ered with ashes from head to foot. 
 
 Alice was very anxious to be of use, and, as the poor 
 little Lily was .nearly screaming herself into a fit, she 
 hastily picked up the Queen and set her on the table 
 bv the side of her noisy little daughter. 
 
 The Queen gasped, and sat down : the rapid journey 
 through the air had quite taken away her breath, and 
 for a minute or two she could do nothing but hug the 
 little Lily in silence. As soon as she had recovered 
 her breath a little, she called out to the White King, 
 who was sitting sulkily among the ashes, " Mind the 
 volcano ! " 
 
 "What volcano?' 1 said the King, looking up anx- 
 iously into the fire, as if he thought that was the most 
 likely place to find one. 
 
 " Blew me up," panted the Queen, who was 
 
 still a little out of breath. " Mind you come up the 
 
 regular way don't get blown up ! " 
 
 Alice watched the White King as he slowly strug- 
 gled up from bar to bar, till at last she said, " Why, 
 you'll be hours and hours getting to the table, at that 
 rate. I'd far better help you, hadn't I ? ' But the 
 King took no notice of the question : it was quite clear 
 that he could neither hear her nor see her. 
 
 So Alice picked him up very gently, and lifted him 
 across more slowly than she had lifted the Queen, that 
 she mightn't take his breath away : but, before she put 
 him on the table, she thought she might as well dust 
 him a little, he was so covered with ashes. 
 
 She said afterward that she had never seen in all her 
 life such a face as the King made, when he found him- 
 self held in the air by an invisible hand, and being 
 dusted : he was far too much astonished to cry out, but 
 
LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 
 
 147 
 
 his eyes and his mouth went on getting larger and 
 larger, and rounder and rounder, till her hand shook 
 so with laughing that she nearly let him drop upon the 
 floor, 
 
 " Oh ! please don't make such faces, my dear ! " she 
 cried out, quite forgetting that the King couldn't hear 
 her, " You make me laugh so that I can hardly hold 
 you ! And don't keep your mouth so wide open ! All 
 th^i ashes will get into it there, now I think you're 
 
 tidy enough ! " she added, as she smoothed his hair, and 
 set him upon the table near the Queen. 
 
 The King immediately fell flat on his back, and lay 
 perfectly still : and Alice was a little alarmed at what 
 she had done, and went round the room to see if she 
 could find any water to throw over him. However, she 
 could find nothing but a bottle of ink, and when she 
 got back with it she found he had recovered, and he 
 and the Queen were talking together in a frightened 
 
 whisper so low, that Alice could hardly hear what 
 
 they said. 
 
148 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 The King was saying, " I assure you, my dear, I 
 turned cold to the very ends of my whiskers ! " 
 
 To which the Queen replied, " You haven't got any 
 whiskers." 
 
 " The horror of that moment," the King went on, 
 " I shall never, never forget ! " 
 
 " You will, though," the Queen said, " if you don't 
 make a memorandum of it." 
 
 Alice looked on with great interest as the King took 
 an enormous memorandum-book out of his pocket, and 
 began writing. A sudden thought struck her, and she 
 took hold of the end of the pencil, which came some 
 way over his shoulder, and began writing for him. 
 
 The poor King looked puzzled and unhappy, and 
 struggled with the pencil for some time without saying 
 anything; but Alice was too strong for him, and at 
 last he panted out, " My dear ! I really must get a thin- 
 ner pencil. I can't manage this one a bit ; it writes 
 
 all manner of things that I don't intend " 
 
 " What manner of things ? " said the Queen, looking 
 over the book (in which Alice had put: "The White 
 
 Knight is sliding down 
 J ^n the poker. He bal- 
 
 ances very badly "). 
 tk That's not a mem- 
 orandum of your feel- 
 ings ! ' ' 
 
 There was a book 
 lying near Alice on 
 the table, and while 
 she sat watching the 
 White King (for she 
 was still a little anx- 
 ious about him, and had the ink all ready to throw 
 
LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 149 
 
 over him, in case he fainted again), she turned over the 
 
 leaves, to find some part that she could read , ' ' for 
 
 it's all in some language I don't know," she said to 
 herself. 
 
 It was like this: 
 
 x^omfcas.k\ 
 
 \^ms $&1 jw aWwV^ Xys\j> vt^ foiCL 
 ,wvo^oto6 wfo ytaw ^im Xik 
 
 She puzzled over this for some time, but at last a 
 bright thought struck her. " Why, it's a Looking-glass 
 book, of course ! And if I hold it up to a glass, the 
 words will all go the right way again." 
 
 This was the poem that Alice read : 
 
 JABBERWOCKY. 
 
 'Turns brillig, and the slithy toves 
 Did gyre and gimble in the ivabe; 
 
 All mimsy were the borogoves, 
 And the mome raths outgrabe. 
 
 " Beware the Jabberwock, my son ! 
 
 The jaivs that bite, the claws that catch! 
 Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun 
 
 The frumious Bandersnatch ! " 
 
 He took his v or pal sword in hand: 
 
 Long time the manxome foe he sought 
 
 So rested he by the Tumtum tree, 
 And stood awhile in thought. 
 
150 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 And as in uffish thought he stood, 
 The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, 
 
 Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, 
 And burbled as it came! 
 
 One, two! One, two! And through and through 
 The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! 
 
 He left it dead, and with its head 
 He went galumphing back. 
 
 " And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? 
 
 Come to my arms, my beamish boy! 
 frabjous day! Callooh! C allay!" 
 He chortled in liis joy. 
 
 'Twos brillig, and the slithy toves 
 Did gyre and gimble in the wabe ; 
 
 All mimsy were the borogoves, 
 And the mome raths outgralje. 
 
 " It seems very pretty," she said when she had 
 finished it. ''but it's rather hard to understand!" 
 (You see she didn't like to confess, even to herself, 
 that she couldn't make it out at all.) " Somehow it 
 
 seems to fill my head with ideas only I don't exactly 
 
 know what they are ! However, somebody killed 
 something : that's clear, at any rate- — — " 
 
 " But oh ! " thought Alice, suddenly jumping up, 
 " if I don't make haste I shall have to go back through 
 the Looking-glass, before I've seen what the rest of the 
 house is like ! Let's have a look at the garden first ! ' 
 She was out of the room in a moment, and ran down- 
 stairs or, at least, it wasn't exactly running, but a 
 
 new invention for getting downstairs quickly and 
 easily, as Alice said to herself. She just kept the 
 
LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 
 
 151 
 
 
152 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 tips of her fingers on the hand-rail, and floated gently 
 clown without even touching the stairs with her feet ; 
 then she floated on through the hall, and would have 
 gone straight out at the door in the same way, if she 
 hadn't caught hold of the door-post. She was getting 
 a little giddy with so much floating in the air, and 
 was rather glad to find herself walking again in the 
 natural way. 
 
CHAPTEE II. 
 
 THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 
 
 " I should see the garden far better," said Alice to 
 herself, "if I could get to the top of that hill: and 
 
 here's a path that leads straight to it at least, no, it 
 
 doesn't do that " (after going a few yards along the 
 
 path, and turning several sharp corners), "but I sup- 
 pose it will at last. But how curiously it twists ! It's 
 more like a corkscrew than a path ! Well, this turn 
 
 goes to the hill, I suppose no, it doesn't ! This goes 
 
 straight back to the house ! Well then, I'll try it the 
 other way." 
 
 And so she did : wandering up and down, and trying 
 turn after turn, but always coming back to the house, 
 do what she would. Indeed, once, when she turned a 
 corner rather more quickly than usual, she ran against 
 it before she could stop herself. 
 
 " It's no use talking about it," Alice said, looking 
 up at the house and pretending it was arguing with 
 her. " I'm not going in again yet. I know I should 
 
 have to get through the looking-glass again back 
 
 into the old room and there'd be an end of all my 
 
 adventures ! " 
 
 So, resolutely turning her back upon the house, she 
 set out once more down the path, determined to keep 
 straight on till she got to the hill. For a few minutes 
 all went on well, and she was just saying, " I really 
 
 shall do it this time " when the path gave a sudden 
 
 twist and shook itself (as she described it afterward), 
 and the next moment she found herself actually walk- 
 ing in at the door. 
 
 153 
 
154 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 " Oh, it's too bad ! " she cried. " I never saw such 
 a house for getting in the way ! Never ! " 
 
 However, there was the hill full in sight, so there 
 was nothing to be done but start again. This time she 
 came upon a large flower bed, with a border of daisies, 
 and a willow-tree growing in the middle. 
 
 " O Tiger-lily," said Alice, addressing herself to one 
 that was waving gracefully about in the wind. " I ivish 
 you could talk ! " 
 
 " We can talk," said the Tiger-lily : " when there's 
 anybody worth talking to." 
 
 Alice was so astonished that she couldn't speak for 
 a minute : it quite seemed to take her breath away. At 
 length, as the Tiger-lily only went on waving about, 
 she spoke again, in a timid voice almost in a whis- 
 per. " And can all the flowers talk ? " 
 
 " As well as you can," said the Tiger-lily. " And 
 a great deal louder." 
 
 " It isn't manners for us to begin, you know," said 
 the Rose, " and I really was wondering when you'd 
 speak ! Said I to myself, ' Her face has got some sense 
 in it, though it's not a clever one ! ' Still, you're the 
 right color, and that goes a Ions; way." 
 
 " I don't care about the color," the Tiger-lily re- 
 marked. " If only her petals curled up a little more, 
 she'd be all right." 
 
 Alice didn't like being criticised, so she began ask- 
 ing questions. " Aren't you sometimes frightened at 
 being planted out here, with nobody to take care of 
 you ? " 
 
 "There's the tree in the middle," said the Rose; 
 " what else is it good for ? " 
 
 " But what could it do, if any danger came ? " Alice 
 asked. 
 
 " It could bark," said the Rose. 
 
THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 
 
 155 
 
 " It says ' Bough-wough ! ' " cried a Daisy : " that's 
 "why its branches are called boughs ! " 
 
 "Didn't you know that?" cried another Daisy, and 
 here they all began shouting together, till the air 
 seemed quite full of little shrill voices. " Silence, 
 
 every one of you ! " cried the Tiger-lily, waving itself 
 passionately from side to side, and trembling with ex- 
 citement. " They know I can't get at them ! " it panted, 
 bending its quivering head toward Alice, " or they 
 wouldn't dare to do it ! " 
 
 "Never mind! " Alice said in a soothing tone, and 
 stooping down to the daisies, who were just beginning 
 
156 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 again, she whispered, " If you don't hold your tongues, 
 I'll pick you ! " 
 
 There was silence in a moment, and several of the 
 pink daisies turned white. 
 
 " That's right ! " said the Tiger-lily. " The daisies 
 fire worst of all. When one speaks, they all begin 
 together, and it's enough to make one wither to hear the 
 way they go on ! " 
 
 " How is it you can all talk so nicely ? " Alice said, 
 hoping to get it into a better temper by a compliment. 
 " I've been in many gardens before, but none of the 
 flowers could talk." 
 
 " Put your hand down, and feel the ground," said the 
 Tiger-lily. " Then you'll know why." 
 
 Alice said so. " It's very hard," she said, " but I 
 don't see what that has to do with it." 
 
 " In most gardens," the Tiger-lily said, " they make 
 
 Jhe beds too soft so that the flowers are always 
 
 Asleep." 
 
 This sounded a very good reason, and Alice was 
 quite pleased to know it. " I never thought of that 
 before ! " she said. 
 
 " It's my opinion that you never think at all," the 
 Rose said in a rather severe tone. 
 
 " I n<?ver saw anybody that looked stupider," a Vio- 
 let said, cO suddenly, that Alice quite jumped; for it 
 hadn't spoken before. 
 
 " Hold your tongue! " cried the Tiger-lily. " As if 
 you ever saw anybody ! You keep your head under the 
 leaves, and snore away there, till you know no more 
 what's going on in the world, than if you were a bud ! ' 
 
 " Are there any more people in the garden besides 
 me ? " Alice said, not choosing to notice the Rose's last 
 remark. 
 
 " There's one other flower in the garden that can 
 
THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS, 157 
 
 move about like you," said the Rose. " I wonder how 
 
 you do it " (" You're always wondering," said the 
 
 Tiger-lily), "but she's more bushy than you are." 
 
 " Is she like me ? ''" Alice asked eagerly, for the 
 thought crossed her mind, " There's another little girl 
 in the garden, somewhere ! " 
 
 " Well, she has the same awkward shape as you," 
 
 the Rose said ; " but she's redder and her petals are 
 
 shorter, I think." 
 
 " Her petals are done up close, almost like a dahlia," 
 the Tiger-lily interrupted : " not tumbled about anyhow, 
 like yours." 
 
 " But that's not your fault," the Rose added, kindly: 
 " you're beginning to fade, you know- — — and then one 
 can't help one's petals getting a little untidy." 
 
 Alice didn't like this idea at all : so, to change the 
 subject, she asked, " Does she ever come out here % " 
 
 " I dare say you'll see her soon," said the Eose. 
 " She's one of the thorny kind." 
 
 " Where does she wear the thorns ? " Alice asked, 
 with some curiosity. 
 
 " Why, all round her head, of course," the Rose re- 
 plied. " I was wondering you hadn't got some, too. I 
 thought it was the regular rule." 
 
 " She's coming! " cried the Larkspur. " I hear her 
 footstep, thump, thump, along the gravel-walk ! ' 
 
 Alice looked round eagerly, and found that it was 
 the Red Queen. " She's grown a good deal ! ' : was 
 her first remark. She had indeed : when Alice first 
 found her in the ashes, she had been only three inches 
 
 J t, 
 
 high and here she was, half a head taller than Alice 
 
 herself ! 
 
 " It's the fresh air that does it," said the Rose : 
 " wonderfully fine air it is, out here." 
 
 " I think I'll go and meet her," said Alice, for, 
 
158 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 though the flowers were interesting enough, she felt 
 that it would be far grander to have a talk with a real 
 Queen. 
 
 "Yon can't possibly do that," said the Rose: "Z 
 should advise yon to walk the other way.'' 
 
 This sounded nonsense to Alice, so she said nothing, 
 but set oil at once toward the Red Queen. To her sur- 
 
 r.,\mi.W/fmnJ. 
 
 
 
 
 
 prise, she lost sight of her in a moment, and found 
 herself walking in at the front-door again. 
 
 A little provoked, she drew back, and after looking 
 everywhere for the Queen (whom she spied out at last, 
 a long way off), she thought she would try the plan, 
 this time, of walking in the opposite direction. 
 
THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWEES. 159 
 
 It succeeded beautifully. She had not been walk- 
 ing a minute before she found herself face to face with 
 the Red Queen, and full in sight of the hill she had 
 been so long aiming at. 
 
 " Where do you come from ? " said the Red Queen. 
 " And where are you going ? Look up, speak nicely, 
 and don't twiddle your fingers all the time." 
 
 Alice attended to all these directions, and explained, 
 as well as she could, that she had lost her way. 
 
 " I don't know what you mean by your way," said 
 
 the Queen : " all the ways about here belong to me • 
 
 but why did you come out here at all ? " she added, in 
 a kinder tone. " Curtesy while you're thinking what 
 to say. It saves time." 
 
 Alice wondered a little at this, but she was too much 
 in awe of the Queen to disbelieve it. " I'll try it when 
 I go home," she thought to herself, " the next time 
 I'm a little late for dinner." 
 
 " It's time for you to answer now," the Queen 
 said, looking at her watch : " open your mouth a little 
 wider when you speak, and always say ' your Maj- 
 esty.' " 
 
 " I only wanted to see what the garden was like, 
 your Majesty " 
 
 " That's right," said the Queen, patting her on the 
 head, which Alice didn't like at all: " though, when you 
 say ' garden,' I've seen gardens, compared with which 
 this would be a wilderness." 
 
 Alice didn't care to argue the point, but went on: 
 
 " and I thought I'd try and find my way to the top 
 
 of that hill " 
 
 " When you say ' hill,' " the Queen interrupted, 
 " I could show you hills, in comparison with which 
 you'd call that a valley." 
 
 " ISTo, I shouldn't," said Alice, surprised into contra- 
 
160 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 dieting her at last: " a hill can't be a valley, you know. 
 That would be nonsense- " 
 
 The Red Queen shook her head. " You may call it 
 'nonsense ' if you like," she said, " but I've heard non- 
 sense, compared with which that would be as sensible 
 as a dictionary ! " 
 
 Alice curtesied again, as she was afraid from the 
 Queen's tone that she was a little offended: and they 
 walked on in silence till they got to the top of the litile 
 hill. 
 
 For some minutes Alice stood without speaking, look- 
 ing out in all directions over the country and a most 
 
 curious country it was. There were a number of tiny 
 little brooks running straight across it from side to 
 
 side, and the ground between was divided up into 
 squares by a number of little green hedges, that reached 
 from brook to brook. 
 
 " I declare it's marked out just like a large chess- 
 board ! " Alice said at last. " There ought to be some 
 
 men moving about somewhere and so there are ! ' 
 
 she added in a tone of delight, and her heart began to 
 beat quick with excitement as she went on. " It's a 
 
THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 161 
 
 great huge game of chess that's being played all 
 
 over the world if this is the world at all, you know. 
 
 Oh, what fun it is ! How I wish I was one of them ! I 
 
 wouldn't mind being a Pawn, if only I might join 
 
 though of course I should like to be a Queen, best." 
 
 She glanced rather shyly at the real Queen as she 
 said this, but her companion only smiled, pleasantly, 
 and said, " That's easily managed. You can be the 
 White Queen's Pawn, if you like, as Lily's too young 
 to play ; and you're in the Second Square to begin 
 with : when you get to the Eighth Square you'll be a 
 
 Queen " Just at this moment, somehow or other, 
 
 thev began to run. 
 
 Alice never could quite make out, in thinking it over 
 afterward, how it was that they began : all she remem- 
 bers is, that they were running hand in hand, and the 
 Queen went so fast that it was all she could do to keep 
 up with her : and still the Queen kept crying " Faster ! 
 Faster! " but Alice felt she could not go faster, though 
 she had no breath left to say so. 
 
 The most curious part of the thing was, that the 
 trees and the other things round them never changed 
 their places at all : however fast they went, they never 
 seemed to pass anything. " I wonder if all the things 
 move along with us % " thought poor puzzled Alice. 
 And the Queen seemed to guess her thoughts, for she 
 cried, " Faster ! Don't try to talk ! " 
 
 Not that Alice had any idea of doing that. She felt 
 as if she would never be able to talk again, she was 
 getting so much out of breath : and still the Queen 
 cried " Faster ! Faster ! " and dragged her along. 
 " Are we nearly there \ " Alice managed to pant out at 
 last. 
 
 " Nearly there ! " the Queen repeated. " Why, we 
 passed it ten minutes ago ! Faster ! " And they ran 
 11 
 
1G2 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 on for a time in silence, with the wind whistling in 
 Alice's ears, and almost blowing her hair off her head, 
 she fancied. 
 
 "jNTow! Xow!" cried the Queen. ''Faster! 
 Faster ! ' And they went so fast that at last they 
 seemed to skim through the air, hardly touching the 
 ground with their feet, till suddenly, just as Alice was 
 getting quite exhausted, they stopped, and she found 
 herself sitting on the ground, breathless and giddy. 
 
 The Queen propped her up against a tree, and said 
 kindly, " You niav rest a little now." 
 
 Alice looked round her in great surprise. " Why, I 
 do believe we've been under this tree the whole time! 
 Everything's just as it was ! '" 
 
 
 "Of course it is," said the Queen: "what would 
 you have it ( " 
 
 " Well, in our country," said Alice, still panting a 
 
 little, " you'd generally get to somewhere else if 
 
 you ran very fast for a Ions: time, as we've been doing." 
 
 " A slow sort of country ! " said the Queen. " Xow, 
 here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to 
 keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere 
 else, you must run at least twice as fast as that ! " 
 
THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 103 
 
 " I'd rather not try, please ! " said Alice. " I'm 
 
 quite content to stay here only I am so hot and 
 
 thirsty ! " 
 
 " I know what you'd like ! " the Queen said good- 
 naturedly, taking a little box out of her pocket. " Have 
 a biscuit ? " 
 
 Alice thought it would not be civil to say " No," 
 though it wasn't at all what she wanted. So she took 
 it, and ate it as well as she could : and it was very dry ; 
 and she thought she had never been so nearly choked 
 in all her life. 
 
 " While you're refreshing yourself," said the Queen, 
 " I'll just take the measurements." And she took a rib- 
 bon out of her pocket, marked in inches, and began 
 measuring the ground, and sticking little pegs in here 
 and there. 
 
 " At the end of two yards," she said, putting in a 
 peg to mark the distance, " I shall give you your direc- 
 tions have another biscuit ? " 
 
 " No, thank you," said Alice : " one's quite enough ! " 
 
 " Thirst quenched, I hope ? " said the Queen. 
 
 Alice did not know what to say to this, but luckily 
 the Queen did not wait for an answer, but went on. 
 
 " At the end of three yards I shall repeat them for 
 
 fear of your forgetting them. At the end of four, I 
 shall say good-bye. And at the end of jive, I shall 
 
 go ! " 
 
 She had got all the pegs put in by this time, and 
 Alice looked on with great interest as she returned to 
 the tree, and then began slowly walking down the row. 
 
 At the two-yard peg she faced round, and said, " A 
 pawn goes two squares in its first move, you know. So 
 
 you'll go very quickly through the Third Square by 
 
 railway, I should think and you'll find yourself in 
 
 the Fourth Square in no time. Well, that square be- 
 
164 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 longs to Tweedledum and Tweedledee the Fifth is 
 
 mostly water the Sixth belongs to Humpty Dumpty 
 
 But you make no remark ? " 
 
 "I 1 didn't know I had to make one just- 
 then," Alice faltered out. 
 
 " You should have said," the Queen went on in a 
 tone of grave reproof, " ' It's extremely kind of you to 
 
 tell me all this ' - however, we'll suppose it said 
 
 the Seventh Square is all forest however, one 
 
 of the Knights will show you the way and in the 
 
 Eighth Square we shall be Queens together, and it's all 
 feasting and fun ! " Alice got up and courtesied, and 
 sat down again. 
 
 At the next peg the Queen turned again, and this 
 time she said, " Speak in French when you can't think 
 
 of the English for a thing turn out your toes as you 
 
 walk and remember who you are ! ' She did not 
 
 wait for Alice to curtesy this time, but walked on quick- 
 ly to the next peg, where she turned for a moment to 
 say " good-bye," and then hurried on to the last. 
 
 How it happened, Alice never knew, but exactly as 
 she came to the last peg, she was gone. Whether she 
 vanished into the air, or whether she ran quickly into 
 the wood ("and she can run very fast!' thought 
 Alice), there was no way of guessing, but she was gone, 
 and Alice began to remember that she was a Pawn, and 
 that it would soon be time for her to move. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 
 
 Of course the first thing to do was to make a grand 
 survey of the country she was going to travel through. 
 " It's something very like learning geography," thought 
 Alice, as she stood on tiptoe in hopes of being able 
 
 to see a little further. " Principal rivers there are 
 
 none. Principal mountains I'm on the only one, 
 
 but I don't think it's got any name. Principal towns 
 
 why, what are those creatures, making honey down 
 
 there ? They can't be bees nobody ever saw bees a 
 
 mile off, you know " and for some time she stood 
 
 silent, watching one of them that was bustling about 
 among the flowers, poking its proboscis into them, " just 
 as if it was a regular bee," thought Alice. 
 
 However, this was anything but a regular bee : in 
 
 fact, it was an elephant as Alice soon found out, 
 
 though the idea quite took her breath away at first. 
 " And what enormous flowers they must be ! " was her 
 next idea. " Something like cottages with the roofs 
 taken off, and stalks put to them and what quanti- 
 ties of honey they must make ! I think I'll go down 
 
 and no, I won't go just yet," she went on, checking 
 
 herself just as she was beginning to run down the hill, 
 and trying to find some excuse for turning shy so sud- 
 denly. It'll never do to go down among them without 
 
 a good long branch to brush them away and what 
 
 fun it'll be when they ask me how I liked my walk. I 
 
 shall say ' Oh, I liked it well enough ' (here 
 
 165 
 
1GG THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 came the favorite little toss of the head), ' only it was 
 so dusty and hot, and the elephants did tease so ! " 
 
 " I think I'll go down the other way/' she said, after 
 a pause: " and perhaps I may visit the elephants later 
 on. Besides, I do so want to get into the Third 
 Square 1 " 
 
 So with this excuse she ran down the hill and jumped 
 over the first of the six little brooks. 
 
 * * * * * 
 * * * # 
 
 * * * * * 
 
 " Tickets, please ! " said the Guard, putting his head 
 in at the window. In a moment everybody was hold- 
 ing out a ticket : they were about the same size as the 
 people, and quite seemed to fill the carriage. 
 
 " Kow, then ! Show your ticket, child ! " the Guard 
 went on, looking angrily at Alice. And a great manv 
 voices all said together (" like the chorus of a song," 
 thought Alice), " Don't keep him waiting, child ! Why 
 his time is worth a thousand pounds a minute ! ' : 
 
 c< I'm afraid I haven't got one," Alice said in a 
 frightened tone : " there wasn't a ticket-office where I 
 came from." And again the chorus of voices went on 
 " There wasn't room for one where she came from. The 
 land there is worth a thousand pounds an inch ! ' : 
 
 " Don't make excuses," said the Guard : " you should 
 have bought one from the engine-driver." And once 
 more the chorus of voices went on with " The man that 
 drives the engine. Why, the smoke alone is worth a 
 thousand pounds a puff ! " 
 
 Alice 'thought to herself, " Then there's no use in 
 speaking." The voices didn't join in this time, as she 
 hadn't spoken, but, to her great surprise, they all 
 
LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 
 
 167 
 
 thought in chorus (I hope you understand what think' 
 
 ing in chorus means for I must confess that I 
 
 don't), " Better say nothing at all. Language is worth 
 a thousand pounds a word ! " 
 
 " I shall dream about a thousand pounds to-night, I 
 know I shall ! " thought Alice. 
 
 All this time the Guard was looking at her, first 
 through a telescope, then through a microscope, and 
 then through an opera-glass. At last he said, " You're 
 traveling the wrong way," and shut up the window 
 and went away. 
 
 " So young a child," said the gentleman sitting op- 
 posite to her, (he was dressed in white paper) " ought 
 to know which way she's going, even if she doesn't know 
 her own name ! " 
 
 A Goat, that was sitting next to the gentleman in 
 white, shut his eyes and said in a loud voice : " She 
 ought to know her way to the ticket-office, even if she 
 doesn't know her alphabet ! " 
 
168 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 There was a Beetle sitting next the Goat (it was a 
 very queer carriage-full of passengers altogether), and, 
 as the rule seemed to be that they should all speak in 
 turn, lie went on with " She'll have to go back from here 
 as luggage ! " 
 
 Alice couldn't see who was sitting beyond the Beetle, 
 
 but a hoarse voice spoke next. " Change engines " 
 
 it said, and there it choked and was obliged to leave off. 
 
 " It sounds like a horse," Alice thought to herself. 
 And an extremely small voice, close to her ear, said, 
 
 " You might make a joke on that— something about ' horse ' and ' hoarse,' 
 you know." 
 
 Then a verv ffentle voice in the distance said, " She 
 must be labelled ' Lass, with care,' you know " 
 
 And after that other voices went on (" What a num- 
 ber of people there are in the carriage ! ' thought 
 Alice), saying, " She must go by post, as she's got a 
 
 head on her " " She must be sent as a message by 
 
 the telegraph " " She must draw the train herself 
 
 the rest of the way ," and so on. 
 
 But the gentleman dressed in white paper leaned 
 forward and whispered in her ear, " ]STever mind what 
 they all say, my dear, but take a return-ticket every 
 time the train stops." 
 
 " Indeed I shan't ! " Alice said, rather impatiently. 
 
 " I don't belong to this railway journey at all 1 was 
 
 in a wood just now and I wish I could get back 
 
 there ! " 
 
 "You might make a joke on that," Said the little Voice close to 
 ner ear I "something about ' you would if you could/ you know." 
 
 " Don't tease so," said Alice, looking about in vain 
 to see where the voice came from : " if vou're so anx- 
 ious to have a joke made, why don't you make one 
 yourself ? " 
 
 The little voice sighed deeply : it was very unhappy, 
 
LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 169 
 
 evidently, and Alice would have said something pity- 
 ing to comfort it, " if it would only sigh like other 
 people ! " she thought. But this was such a wonder- 
 fully small sigh, that she wouldn't have heard it at all, 
 if it hadn't come quite close to her ear. The conse- 
 quence of this was that it tickled her ear very much, 
 and quite took off her thoughts from the unhappiness of 
 the poor little creature. 
 
 "I know you are a friend," the little Voice Went OU | "a dear 
 friend, and an old friend. And you won't hurt me, though I am an insect." 
 
 " What kind of insect ? " Alice inquired a little 
 anxiously. What she really wanted to know was, 
 whether it could sting or not, but she thought this 
 wouldn't be quite a civil question to ask. 
 
 "What, then you don't" — the little voice began, when 
 it was drowned by a shrill scream from the engine, 
 and everybody jumped up in alarm, Alice among the 
 rest. 
 
 The Horse, who had put his head out of the win- 
 dow, quietly drew it in and said, " It's only a brook 
 we have to jump over." Everybody seemed satisfied 
 with this, though Alice felt a little nervous at the 
 idea of trains jumping at all. " However, it'll take 
 us into the Fourth Square, that's some comfort ! ' : 
 she said to herself. In another moment she felt the 
 carriage rise straight up into the air, and in her 
 fright she caught at the thing nearest to her hand, 
 which happened to be the Goat's beard. 
 
 * * * * * 
 
 * * 
 
 * * * .* 
 
170 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 But the beard seemed to melt away as she touched it, 
 
 and she found herself sitting quietly under a tree 
 
 while the Gnat (for that was the insect she had been 
 talking to) was balancing itself on a twig just over 
 her head, and fanning her with its wings. 
 
 It certainly was a very large Gnat : " about the size 
 of a chicken,'' Alice thought. Still, she couldn't fe&l 
 nervous with it, after they had been talking together so 
 long. 
 
 " then you don't like all insects ? " the Gnat went 
 
 on, as quietly as if nothing had happened. 
 
 " I like them when thev can talk," Alice said. " None 
 of them ever talk, where I come from." 
 
 " What sort of insects do you rejoice in, where you 
 come from I " the Gnat inquired. 
 
 " I don't rejoice in insects at all," Alice explained, 
 
 " because I'm rather afraid of them at least the 
 
 large kinds. But I can tell vou the names of some of 
 them." 
 
 " Of course they answer to their names ? " the Gnat 
 remarked carelessly. 
 
 " I never knew them do it." 
 
 " What's the use of their having names," the Gnat 
 said, " if they won't answer to them ? " 
 
 " Xo use to them," said Alice ; " but it's useful to 
 the people that name them, I suppose. If not, why do 
 things have names at all ( " 
 
 " I can't say," the Gnat replied. "Further on, in 
 the wood down there, they've got no names how- 
 ever, go on with your list of insects, you're wasting 
 time." 
 
 " Well, there's the Horse-fly," Alice began, coimting 
 off the names on her fingers. 
 
 " All right," said the Gnat : " half way up that bush, 
 you'll see a Ilocking-horse-fly, if you look. It's made 
 
LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. ift 
 
 entirely of wood, and gets about by swinging itself from 
 branch to branch." 
 
 " What does it live on ? " Alice asked, with great 
 curiositv. 
 
 " Sap and sawdust," said the Gnat. " Go on with 
 the list." 
 
 Alice looked at the Rocking-horse-fly with great in- 
 terest, and made up her mind that it must have been 
 just repainted, it looked so bright and sticky; and then 
 she went on. 
 
 " And there's the Dragon-fly." 
 
 " Look on the branch above your head," said the 
 Gnat, " and there you'll find a Snap-dragon-fly. Its 
 body is made of plum-pudding, its wings of holly-leaves, 
 and its head is a raisin burning in brandy." 
 
 " And what does it live on ? " Alice asked, as be- 
 fore. 
 
 " Frumenty and mince-pie," the Gnat replied : " and 
 it makes its nest in a Christmas-box." 
 
 " And then there's the Butterfly," Alice went on, 
 after she had taken a good look at the insect with its 
 
172 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 head on fire, and had thought to herself, " I wonder 
 if that's the reason insects are so fond of flying into 
 candles because they want to turn into Snap- 
 
 dragon-flies ! " 
 
 " Crawling at your feet," said the Gnat (Alice drew 
 her feet back in some alarm), "you may observe a 
 Bread-and-butter-fly. Its wings are thin slices of bread' 
 and-butter, its body is a crust, and its head is 9. lump 
 of sugar." 
 
 " And what does it live on ? " 
 
 " Weak tea with cream in it." 
 
 A new difficulty came into Alice's head. " Suppos» 
 ing it couldn't find any ? " she suggested. 
 
 " Then it would die, of course." 
 
 " But that must happen very often," Alice remarked, 
 thoughtfully. 
 
 " It always happens," said the Gnat. 
 
 After this, Alice was silent for a minute or two, 
 pondering. The Gnat amused itself meanwhile by 
 humming round and round her head : at last it settled 
 again and remarked, " I suppose you don't want to 
 lose your name ? " 
 
LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 
 
 173 
 
 " "No, indeed," Alice said, a little anxiously. 
 
 " And yet I don't know," the Gnat went on in a 
 careless tone : " only think how convenient it would 
 be if you could manage to go home without it! For 
 instance, if the governess wanted to call you to your 
 
 lessons, she would call out ' Come here ' and there 
 
 she would have to leave off, because there wouldn't be 
 any name for her to call, and of course you wouldn't 
 have to go, you know." 
 
 " That would never do, I'm sure," said Alice : " the 
 governess would never think of excusing my lessons for 
 that. If she couldn't remember my name, she'd call 
 
 me 
 
 Miss ! ' as the servants do 
 
 >? 
 
 " Well, if she said ' Miss,' and didn't say anything 
 more," the Gnat remarked, " of course you'd miss your 
 lessons. That's a joke. I wish you had made it." 
 
 " Why do you wish I had made it ? " Alice asked. 
 " It's a very bad one." 
 
 But the Gnat only sighed deeply, while two large 
 tears came rolling down its cheeks. 
 
 " You shouldn't make jokes," Alice said, " if it 
 makes you so unhappy." 
 
174 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 Then caine another of those melancholy little sighs, 
 and this time the poor Gnat really seemed to have 
 sighed itself away, for, when Alice looked up, there was 
 nothing whatever to be seen on the twig, and, as she was 
 getting quite chilly with sitting still so long, she got 
 up and walked on. 
 
 She very soon came to an open field, with a wood on 
 the other side of it : it looked much darker than the 
 last wood, and Alice felt a little timid about going into 
 it. However, on second thoughts, she made up her 
 mind to go on : " for I certainly won't go back," she 
 thought to herself, and this was the only way to the 
 Eighth Square. 
 
 kb This must be the wood," she said thoughtfully to 
 herself, " where things have no names. I wonder 
 what'll become of my name when I go in ? I shouldn't 
 
 like to lose it at all because they'd have to give 
 
 me another, and it would be almost certain to be an 
 ugly one. But then the fun would be, trying to 
 find the creature that had got my old name ! That's 
 just like the advertisements, you know, when people 
 
 lose dogs ' answers to the name of " Dash: " had on 
 
 a brass collar ' just fancy calling everything you 
 
 met * Alice,' till one of them answered ! Only they 
 wouldn't answer at all, if they were wise." 
 
 She was rambling on in this way when she reached 
 the wood : it looked very cool and shady. " Well, at 
 any rate it's a great comfort," she said as she stepped 
 under the trees, " after being so hot, to get into the 
 ■ into the into what?" she went on, rather sur- 
 prised at not being able to think of the word. " I mean 
 
 to get under the under the under this, you 
 
 know ! " putting her hand on the trunk of the tree. 
 " What does it call itself, I wonder ? I do believe it's 
 got no name why, to be sure it hasn't ! " 
 
LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 
 
 175 
 
 She stood silent for a minute, thinking : then she sud- 
 denly began again. " Then it really has happened, 
 after all ! And now, who am I. I will remember, if I 
 can ! I'm determined to do it ! ' : But being deter- 
 mined didn't help her much, and all she could say, after 
 a great deal of puzzling, was, " L, I know it begins with 
 L!" 
 
 Just then a Fawn came wandering by: it looked at 
 
 Alice with its large, gentle eyes, but didn't seem at 
 all frightened. " Here then ! Here then ! " Alice said, 
 as she held out her hand and tried to stroke it ; but it 
 only started back a little, and then stood looking at 
 her again. 
 
 " What do you call yourself ? " the Fawn said at 
 last. Such a soft, sweet voice it had ! 
 
176 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 a 
 
 I wish I knew ! ' thought poor Alice. She an- 
 swered, rather sadly, " Nothing, just now." 
 
 " Think again," it said ; " that won't do." 
 
 Alice thought, but nothing came of it. " Please, 
 would you tell me what you call yourself?" she said 
 timidly. " I think that might help a little." 
 
 " I'll tell vou, if vou'll come a little further on," 
 the Fawn said. " I can't remember here." 
 
 So they walked on together through the wood, Alice 
 with her arms clasped lovingly round the soft neck 
 of the Fawn, till they came out into another open field, 
 and here the Fawn gave a sudden bound into the air, 
 and shook itself free from Alice's arms " I'm a 
 Fawn! " it cried out in a voice of delight, " and, dear 
 me ! you're a human child ! ' : A sudden look of alarm 
 came into its beautiful brown eyes, and in another mo- 
 ment it had darted away at full speed. 
 
 Alice stood looking after it, almost ready to cry with 
 vexation at having lost her dear little fellow-traveler so 
 suddenly. " However, I know my name now," she said, 
 " that's some comfort. Alice Alice 1 won't for- 
 get it again. And now, which of these finger-posts 
 ought I to follow, I wonder ? " 
 
 It was not a very difficult question to answer, as there 
 was only one road through the wood, and the two finger- 
 posts both pointed along it. " I'll settle it," Alice 
 said to herself, " when the road divides and they point 
 different ways." 
 
 But this did not seem likely to happen. She went 
 on and on, a long way, but wherever the road divided 
 there were sure to be two finger-posts pointing the same 
 way, one marked " TO TWEEDLEDUM'S HOUSE," 
 and the other " TO THE HOUSE OF TWEEDLE- 
 DEE." 
 
LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 177 
 
 u 
 
 I do believe," said Alice at last, " that they live 
 in the same house ! I wonder I never thought of that 
 
 before But I can't stay there long. I'll just call and 
 
 say ' How d'ye do ? ' and ask them the way out of the 
 wood. If I could only get to the Eighth Square before 
 it gets dark ! " So she wandered on, talking to herself 
 as she went, till, on turning a sharp corner, she came 
 upon two fat little men, so suddenly that she could 
 not help starting back, but in another moment she re- 
 covered herself, feeling sure that they must be 
 
 12 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 
 
 They were standing under a tree, each with an arm 
 round the other's neck, and Alice knew which was 
 which in a moment, because one of them had " DUM ' 
 embroidered on his collar, and the other " DEE." " I 
 suppose they've each got ' TWEEDLE ' round at the 
 back of the collar," she said to herself. 
 
 
 They stood so still that she quite forgot they were 
 alive, and she was just looking round to see if the 
 word " TWEEDLE " was written at the back of each 
 collar, when she was startled by a voice coming from 
 the one marked " DUM." 
 
 " If you think we're wax-works," he said, " you 
 
 178 
 
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 179 
 
 ought to pay, you know. Wax-works weren't made to 
 be looked at for nothing. Nohow ! " 
 
 " Contrariwise," added the one marked " DEE," " if 
 you think we're alive, you ought to speak." 
 
 " I'm sure I'm very sorry," was all Alice could say; 
 for the words of the old song kept ringing through her 
 head like the ticking of a clock, and she could hardly 
 help saying them out loud : 
 
 " Tweedledum and Tweedledee 
 Agreed to have a battle; 
 For Tweedledum said Tweedledee 
 Had spoiled his nice new rattle. 
 
 " Just then flew down a monstrous crow, 
 As black as a tar-barrel ; 
 Which frightened both the heroes so, 
 They quite forgot their quarrel." 
 
 " I know what you're thinking about," said Tweedle- 
 dum : " but it isn't so, nohow." 
 
 " Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, " if it was 
 so, it might be ; and if it were so, it would be ; but as 
 it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." 
 
 " I was thinking," Alice said very politely, " which 
 is the best way out of this wood : it's getting so dark. 
 Would you tell me, please ? " 
 
 But the fat little men only looked at each other and 
 grinned. 
 
 They looked so exactly like a couple of great school- 
 boys, that Alice couldn't help pointing her finger at 
 Tweedledum, and saying " First Boy ! " 
 
 " ISTohow ! " Tweedledum cried out, briskly, and shut 
 his mouth up again with a snap. 
 
 " Next Boy ! " said Alice, passing on to Tweedledee, 
 
130 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 though she felt quite certain he would only shout out 
 " Contrariwise! " and so he did. 
 
 " You've begun wrong ! " cried Tweedledum. " The 
 first thing in a visit is to say ' How d'ye do? ' and shake 
 hands ! ' And here the two brothers gave each other 
 a hug, and then they held out the two hands that were 
 free, to shake hands with her. 
 
 Alice did not like shaking hands with either of them 
 first, for fear of hurting the other one's feelings ; so, 
 as the best wav out of the difficulty, she took hold of 
 both hands at once : the next moment they were danc- 
 ing round in a ring. This seemed quite natural (she 
 remembered afterward), and she was not even surprised 
 to hear music playing: it seemed to come from the tree 
 under which they were dancing, and it was done (as 
 well as she could make it out) by the branches rubbing 
 one across the other, like fiddles and fiddle-sticks. 
 
 " But it certainly was funny, (Alice said afterward, 
 when she was telling her sister the history of all this,) 
 "to find myself singing 'Here we go round the mul- 
 berry bush/ I don't know when I began it, but some- 
 how I felt as if I'd been singing it a long time ! ' 
 
 The other two dancers were fat, and very soon out of 
 breath. " Four times round is enough for one dance," 
 Tweedledum panted out, and they left off dancing as 
 suddenly as they had begun : the music stopped at the 
 same moment. 
 
 Then thev let go of Alice's hands, and stood looking 
 at her for a minute : there was a rather awkward pause, 
 as Alice didn't know how to begin a conversation 
 with people she had just been dancing with. " It 
 would never do to say ' How d'ye do ( ' now," she 
 said to herself: "we seem to have got beyond that, 
 somehow ! " 
 
 " I hope you're not much tired ? " she said at last. 
 
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 181 
 
 " Nohow. And thank you very much for asking," 
 said Tweedledum. 
 
 " So much obliged ! " added Tweedledee. " You like 
 poetry ? " 
 
 " Ye-es pretty well some poetry," Alice said, 
 
 doubtfully. " Would you tell me which road leads out 
 of the wood ? " 
 
 " What shall I repeat to her ? " said Tweedledee, 
 looking round at Tweedledum with great solemn eyes, 
 and not noticing Alice's question. 
 
 The Walrus and the Carpenter ' is the longest," 
 Tweedledum replied, giving his brother an affectionate 
 hug. 
 
 Tweedledee began instantly : 
 
 " The sun was shining " 
 
 Here Alice ventured to interrupt him. " If it's 
 very long," she said, as politely as she could, " would 
 you please tell me first which road " 
 
 Tweedledee smiled gently, and began again : 
 
 " The sun was shining on the sea, 
 
 Shining with all his might: 
 He did his very best to make 
 
 The billows smooth and bright — 
 And this was odd, because it was 
 
 The middle of the night. 
 
 " The moon was shining sulkily, 
 Because she thought the sun 
 Had got no business to be there 
 After the day was done — 
 ' It's very rude of him,' she said, 
 ' To come and spoil the fun! ' 
 
182 THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS. 
 
 ' The sea teas wet as wet could be, 
 The sands were dry as dry. 
 You could not see a cloud, because 
 
 No cloud was in the sky: 
 No birds were flying overhead — 
 There were no birds to fly. 
 
 <e The Walrus and the Carpenter 
 Were walking close at hand; 
 They wept like anything to see 
 Such quantities of sand: 
 * If this were only cleared away' 
 They said ' it would be grand! ' 
 
 If seven maids ivith seven mops 
 Swept it for half a year, 
 Do you suppose/ the Walrus said, 
 'That they could get it clear?' 
 * I doubt it,' said the Carpenter, 
 And shed a bitter tear. 
 
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 183 
 
 " ' Oysters, come and walk with us! ' 
 The Walrus did beseech. 
 i A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, 
 
 Along the briny beach: 
 We cannot do with more than four, 
 To give a hand to each.' 
 
 " The eldest Oyster looked at him, 
 But never a word he said: 
 The eldest Oyster winked his eye, 
 
 And shook his heavy head — 
 Meaning to say he did not choose 
 To leave the oyster-bed. 
 
 rc But four young Oysters hurried up, 
 All eager for the treat: 
 Their coats were brushed, their faces washed, 
 
 Their shoes were clean and neat — 
 And this was odd, because, you know, 
 They hadn't any feet. 
 
 "Four other Oysters followed them, 
 
 And yet another four; 
 And thick and fast they came at last, 
 
 And more, and more, and more — ■ 
 All hopping through the frothy waves, 
 
 And scrambling to the shore. 
 
 " The Walrus and the Carpenter 
 
 Walked on a mile or so, 
 And then they rested on a rock 
 
 Conveniently low: 
 And all the little Oysters stood 
 
 And waited in a row. 
 
184 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 " ' The time has come,' the Walrus said, 
 1 To talk of many things. 
 Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax- 
 
 Of cabbages — and kings — 
 And why the sea is boiling hot — 
 And whether pigs have wings.' 
 
 
 a i 
 
 But wait a bit/ the Oysters cried, 
 ' Before ive have our chat ; 
 For so7ne of us are oid of breath, 
 And all of its are fat! ' 
 'No hurry!' said the Carpenter. 
 They thanked him much for that. 
 
 " ' A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said, 
 ' Is what we chiefly need: 
 Pepper and vinegar besides 
 Are very good indeed — 
 Now if you're ready, Oysters dear, 
 We can begin to feed.' 
 
 But not on us! ' the Oysters cried, 
 Turning a little blue. 
 '* After such kindness, that would be 
 A dismal thing to do!' 
 
a c 
 
 TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 
 
 * The night is fine/ the Walrus said. 
 ' Do you admire the view ? ' 
 
 ' It was so hind of you to come ! 
 
 And you are very nice ! ' 
 The Carpenter said nothing but 
 
 ' Cut us another slice : 
 I wish you were not quite so deaf — 
 I've had to ask you twice ! ' 
 
 185 
 
 " ' It seems a shame/ the Walrus said, 
 ' To play them such a trick, 
 After 'we've brought them out so far, 
 
 And made them trot so quick! ' 
 The Carpenter said nothing but 
 1 The butter's spread too thick!' 
 
 " ' / weep for you/ the Walrus said: 
 ' I deeply sympathize.' 
 With sobs and tears he sorted out 
 
 Those of the largest size, 
 Molding his pocket-handkerchief 
 Before his streaming eyes. 
 
186 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 " ' Oysters,' said the Carpenter, 
 ' You've had a pleasant run! 
 Shall ive be trotting home again ? ' 
 But answer came there none — 
 And, this was scarcely odd, because 
 They'd eaten every one." 
 
 " I like the Walrus Lest," said Alice: " because you 
 see he was a little sorry for the poor oysters." 
 
 " He ate more than the Carpenter, though," said 
 Tweedledee. " You see he held his handkerchief in 
 front, so that the Carpenter couldn't count how many 
 he took : contrariwise." 
 
 " That was mean ! " Alice said, indignantly. " Then 
 
 I like the Carpenter best if he didn't eat so many 
 
 as the Walrus." 
 
 " But he ate as many as he could get," said Tweedle- 
 dum. 
 
 This was a puzzler. After a pause, Alice began, 
 
 Well ! They were both very unpleasant characters 
 Here she checked herself in some alarm, at 
 hearing something that sounded to her like the puffing 
 of a large steam-engine in the wood near them, though 
 she feared it was more likely to be a wild beast. " Are 
 there any lions or tigers about here ? ' : she asked, 
 timidly. 
 
 " It's only the Red King snoring," said Tweedle- 
 'dee. 
 
 " Come and look at him ! '' the brothers cried, and 
 they each took one of Alice's hands, and led her up to 
 where the King was sleeping. 
 
 " Isn't he a lovely sight '\ " said Tweedledum. 
 
 Alice couldn't say honestly that he was. He had 
 a tall red nightcap on, with a tassel, and he was lying 
 crumpled up into a sort of untidy heap, and snoring 
 
 V V 
 
 11 
 
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 
 
 187 
 
 loud " fit to snore his head off ! " as Tweedledum 
 
 remarked. 
 
 " I'm afraid he'll catch cold with lying on the damp 
 grass," said Alice, who was a very thoughtful little girl. 
 
 " He's dreaming now," said Tweedledee : " and what 
 do you think he's dreaming about ? " 
 
 Alice said " Nobody can guess that." 
 
 "Why, about you!" Tweedledee exclaimed, clap- 
 \ ing his hands triumphantly. " And if he left off 
 o feaming about you, where do you suppose you'd be ? " 
 
 " Where I am now, of course," said Alice. 
 
 i ILsse'Z&x 
 
 
 
 « 
 
 .. 
 
 ^N ,)t you ! ' Tweedledee retorted, contemptuously. 
 "' You'd be nowhere. Why, you're only a sort of thing 
 in his dream ! " 
 
 :; If that there King was to wake," added Tweedle- 
 dum, " you'd go out bang! just like a candle ! " 
 
 " I shouldn't ! " Alice exclaimed, indignantly. " Be- 
 sides, if I'm, only a sort of thing in his dream, what are 
 you, I should like to know ? " 
 
 "Ditto," said Tweedledum. 
 
 " Ditto, ditto ! " cried Tweedledee. 
 
1SS THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 He shouted this so loud that Alice couldn't help 
 saying, " Hush ! You'll be waking him, I'm afraid y 
 if you make so much noise." 
 
 " Well, it's no use your talking about waking him," 
 said Tweedledum, " when you're only one of the things 
 in his dreams. You know very well you're not real." 
 
 " I am real ! " said Alice, and began to cry. 
 
 " You w T on't make yourself a bit realler by crying," 
 Tweedledee remarked: "there's nothing to cry about." 
 
 " If I wasn't real," Alice said half-laughing 
 
 through her tears, it all seemed so ridiculous " I 
 
 shouldn't be able to cry." 
 
 " I hope you don't suppose those are real tears ? ' : 
 Tweedledum interrupted in a tone of great contempt. 
 
 " I know they're talking nonsense," Alice thought to 
 herself: "and it's foolish to cry about it." So she 
 brushed away her tears, and went on as cheerfully as 
 she could, " At any rate I'd better be getting out of the 
 wood,' for really it's coming on very dark. Do you 
 think it's 2'oino; to rain % " 
 
 Tweedledum spread a large umbrella over himself 
 and his brother, and looked up into it. " Xo, I don't 
 
 think it is," he said: "at least not under here. 
 
 Nohow." 
 
 " But it may rain outside? " 
 
 " It may if it chooses," said Tweedledee : " we've 
 
 no objection. Contrariwise." 
 
 "Selfish things!' thought Alice, and she was just 
 going to say " Good-night ' and leave them, when 
 Tweedledum sprang out from under the umbrella, and 
 seized her by the wrist. 
 
 " Do you see that ? " he said, in a voice choking with 
 passion, and his eyes grew large and yellow all in a 
 moment, as he pointed with a trembling finger at a 
 small white thing lying under the tree. 
 
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 
 
 189 
 
 " It's only a rattle," Alice said, after a careful ex- 
 amination of the little white thing. " Not a rattle- 
 snake, you know," she added hastily, thinking that he 
 
 was frightened : " only an old rattle quite old and 
 
 broken." 
 
 " I knew it was ! " cried Tweedledum, beginning to 
 stamp about wildly and tear his hair. " It's spoilt, 
 of course ! r Here he looked at Tweedledee, who im- 
 mediately sat down on the ground, and tried to hide 
 himself under the umbrella. 
 
 
 Alice laid her hand upon his arm, and said in a 
 soothing tone, " You needn't be so angry about an 
 old rattle." 
 
 "But it isn't old! " Tweedledum cried, in a greater 
 
 fury than ever. " It's new, I tell you 1 bought it 
 
 yesterday my nice new RATTLE ! " and his voice 
 
 rose to a perfect scream. 
 
 All this time Tweedledee was trying his best to 
 fold up the umbrella, with himself in it: which was 
 
190 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 such an extraordinary thing to do, that it quite took off 
 Alice's attention from the angry brother. But he 
 couldn't quite succeed, and it ended in his rolling over, 
 bundled up in the umbrella, with only bis head out: 
 and there he lay, opening and shutting bis mouth and 
 his large eyes " looking more like a fish than any- 
 thing else," Alice thought. 
 
 " Of course you agree to have a battle ? ' : Tweedle- 
 dum said in a calmer tone. 
 
 " I suppose so," the other sulkily replied, as he 
 crawled out of the umbrella : " only she must help us 
 to dress up, you know." 
 
 So the two brothers went off hand-in-hand into the 
 wood, and returned in a minute with their arms full 
 
 of things such as bolsters, blankets, hearth-rugs, 
 
 tableclothes, dish-covers, and coal-scuttles. " I hope 
 you're a good hand at pinning and tying strings?' 
 Tweedledum remarked. " Every one of these things has 
 got to go on, somehow or other." 
 
 Alice said afterward she had never seen such a fuss 
 
 made about anything in all her life the way those 
 
 two bustled about and the quantity of tilings they 
 
 put on and the trouble they gave her in tying strings 
 
 and fastening buttons " Really they'll be more like 
 
 bundles of old clothes than anything else, by the time 
 they're ready ! " she said to herself, as she arranged a 
 bolster round" the neck of Tweedledec, " to keep his 
 head from being cut off," as he said. 
 
 " You know," he added very gravely, " it's one of 
 the most serious things that can possibly happen to one 
 in a battle to get one's head cut off." 
 
 Alice laughed aloud: but she managed to turn it into 
 a cough, for fear of hurting his feelings. 
 
 " Do I look very pale ? " said Tweedledum, coming 
 up to have his helmet tied on. (He called it a helmet, 
 
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 
 
 191 
 
 though it certainly looked much more like a saucepan.) 
 
 " Well yes a little" Alice replied, gently. 
 
 " I'm very brave generally," he went on in a low 
 voice : " only to-day I happen to have a headache." 
 
 " And I've got a toothache ! " said Tweedledee, who 
 had overheard the remark. " I'm far worse than you ! n 
 
 "■ Then you'd better not fight to-day," said Alice, 
 thinking it a good opportunity to make peace. 
 
 " We must have a bit of a fight, but I don't care about 
 going on long," said Tweedledum. " What's the time 
 now ? " 
 
 Tweedledee looked at his watch, and said " Half- 
 past four." 
 
 " Let's fight till six, and then have dinner," said 
 Tweedledum. 
 
 " Very well," the other said, rather sadly: " and she 
 
 can watch us only you'd better not come very close," 
 
 he added : " I generally hit everything I can see 
 
 when I get really excited." 
 
 " And / hit everything within reach," cried Tweedle- 
 dum, " whether I ean see it or not ! " 
 
192 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 Alice laughed. " You must hit the trees pretty often, 
 I should think," she said. 
 
 Tweedledum looked round him with a satisfied smile. 
 " I don't suppose," he said, " there'll be a tree left 
 standing, for ever so far around, by the time we've fin- 
 ished ! " 
 
 " And all about a rattle ! " said Alice, still hoping to 
 make them a little ashamed of fighting for such a trifle. 
 
 " I shouldn't have minded it so much," said Tweedle- 
 dum, " if it hadn't been a new one." 
 
 " I wish the monstrous crow would come ! " thought 
 Alice. 
 
 " There's only one sword, you know," Tweedledum 
 
 said to his brother : " but you can have the umbrella ■ 
 
 it's quite as sharp. Only we must begin quick. It's 
 getting as dark as it can." 
 
 " And darker," said Tweedledee. 
 
 It was getting, dark so suddenly that Alice thought 
 there must be a thunderstorm coming on. " What a 
 thick black cloud that is! " she said. " And how fast 
 it comes ! Why, I do believe it's got wings ! " 
 
 " It's the crow ! ' Tweedledum cried out in a shrill 
 voice of alarm : and the two brothers took to their heels 
 and were out of sight in a moment. 
 
 Alice ran a little way into the wood, and stopped 
 under a large tree. " It can never get at me here," she 
 thought : " it's far too large to squeeze itself in among 
 
 the trees. But I wish it wouldn't flap its wings so 
 
 it makes quite a hurricane in the wood here's some- 
 body's shawl being blown away ! " 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 WOOL AND WATER. 
 
 She caught the shawl as she spoke, and looked about 
 for the owner: in another moment the White Queen 
 came running wildly through the wood, with both arms 
 stretched out wide, as if she- were flying, and Alice very 
 civilly went to meet her with the shawl. 
 
 " I'm very glad I happened to be in the way," Alice 
 said, as she helped her to put on her shawl again. 
 
 The White Queen only looked at her in a helpless 
 frightened sort of way, and kept repeating something in 
 a whisper to herself that sounded like " Bread-and but- 
 ter, bread-and-butter," and Alice felt that if there was 
 to be any conversation at all, she must manage it herself. 
 So she began timidly : " Am I addressing the White 
 Queen ? " 
 
 " Well, yes, if you call that a-dressing," the Queen 
 said. " It isn't my notion of the thing, at all." 
 
 Alice thought it would never do to have an argument 
 at the very beginning of their conversation, so she 
 smiled and said, " If your Majesty will only tell me 
 the right way to begin, I'll do it as well as I can." 
 
 " But I don't want it done at all ! " groaned the poor 
 Queen. " I've been a-dressing myself for the last two 
 hours." 
 
 It would have been all the better, as it seemed to 
 
 Alice, if she had got some one else to dress her, she was 
 
 so dreadfully untidy. " Every single thing's crooked," 
 
 Alice thought to herself, " and she's all over pins ! — 
 
 13 193 
 
194 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 May I put your shawl straight for you ? " she added 
 aloud. 
 
 " I don't know what's the matter with it ! " the Queen 
 said in a melancholy voice. " It's out of temper, I 
 think. I've pinned it here, and I've pinned it there, 
 but there's no pleasing it ! " 
 
 "It can't go 
 straight, you 
 know, if you pin 
 it all on one side," 
 Alice said, as she 
 gently put it right 
 for her; "and, 
 dear me, what a 
 state your hair is 
 in! " 
 
 " The brush has 
 got entangled in 
 it ! " the Queen 
 said with a sigh. 
 
 "And I lost the 
 comb yesterday. ' ' 
 Alice carefully 
 released the brush, 
 and did her best to get the hair into order. " Come, 
 you look rather better now! " she said, after altering 
 most of the pins. "But really you should have a 
 lad v's- maid! " 
 
 %j 
 
 " I'm sure I'll take you with pleasure ! " the Queen 
 said. " Twopence a week, and jam every other day." 
 
 Alice couldn't help laughing, as she said, " I don't 
 want vou to hire mc — and I don't care for jam." 
 
 " It's very good jam," said the Queen. 
 
WOOL AND WATER. 195 
 
 " Well, I don't want any to-day, at any rate." 
 
 " You couldn't have it if you did want it," the 
 Queen said. " The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yes- 
 terday but never jam to-day." 
 
 " It must come sometimes to ' jam to-day,' " Alice 
 objected. 
 
 " No, it can't," said the Queen. " It's jam every 
 other day: to-day isn't any other day, you know." 
 
 " I don't understand you," said Alice. " It's dread- 
 fully confusing ! " 
 
 " That's the effect of living backwards," the Queen 
 said kindly : " it always makes one a little giddy at 
 first " 
 
 " Living backwards ! " Alice repeated in great as- 
 tonishment. " I never heard of such a thing ! " 
 
 " but there's one great advantage in it, that one's 
 
 memory works both ways." 
 
 " I'm sure mine only works one way," Alice re- 
 marked. " I can't remember things before they happen." 
 
 " It's a poor sort of memory that only works back- 
 wards," the Queen remarked. 
 
 " What sort of things do you remember best ? " Alice 
 ventured to ask. 
 
 " Oh, things that happened the week after next," the 
 Queen replied in a careless tone. " For instance, now," 
 she went on, sticking a large piece of plaster on her 
 finger as she spoke, " there's the King's Messenger. 
 He's in prison now, being punished : and the trial 
 doesn't even begin till next Wednesday: and of course 
 the crime comes last of all." 
 
 " Suppose he never commits the crime ? ' : said 
 Alice. 
 
 " That would be all the better, wouldn't it ? " the 
 Queen said, as she bound the plaster round her finger 
 with a bit of ribbon. 
 
106 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 Alice felt there was 
 no denying that. "Of 
 course it would be all 
 the better," she said: 
 "but it wouldn't be 
 all the better his being 
 punished." 
 
 "You're wrong 
 tlbere, at any rate," 
 said the Queen : ' ' were 
 you ever punished? " 
 " Only for faults," 
 said Alice. 
 
 " And you were all 
 the better for it, I 
 know ! " the Queen 
 said triumphantly. 
 
 ' ' Yes, but then I had done the things I was pun- 
 ished for," said Alice: " that makes all the differ- 
 ence. ' ' 
 
 " But if you hadn't done them," the Queen said, 
 " that would have been better still ; better, and better, 
 and better ! ' Her voice went higher with each " bet- 
 ter," till it got quite to a squeak at last. 
 
 Alice was just beginning to say " There's a mistake 
 
 somewhere ," when the Queen began screaming, so 
 
 loud that she had to leave the sentence unfinished. " Oh, 
 oh, oh ! " shouted the Queen ; shaking her hand about 
 as if she wanted to shake it off. " My finger's bleed- 
 ing ! Oh, oh, oh, oh ! " 
 
 Her screams were so exactly like the whistle of a 
 steam-engine, that Alice had to hold both her hands 
 over her ears. 
 
WOOL AND WATER. 197 
 
 " What is the matter ? " she said, as soon as there 
 was a chance of making herself heard. " Have you 
 pricked your finger ? " 
 
 " I haven't pricked it yet," the Queen said, " but I 
 soon shall oh, oh, oh ! " 
 
 " When do you expect to do it ? " Alice asked, feeling 
 Very much inclined to laugh. 
 
 " When I fasten my shawl again," the poor Queen 
 groaned out : u the brooch will come undone directly. 
 Oh, oh ! " As she said the words the brooch flew open, 
 and the Queen clutched wildly at it, and tried to clasp 
 it again. 
 
 " Take care ! " cried Alice. " You're holding it all 
 crooked ! " And she caught at the brooch ; but it was 
 too late : the pin had slipped, and the Queen had prickegL 
 her finger. 
 
 " That accounts for the bleeding, you see," she said 
 to Alice with a smile. " Now you understand the way 
 things happen here." 
 
 " But why don't you scream now ? " Alice asked, 
 holding her hands ready to put over her ears again. 
 
 " Why, I've done all the screaming already," said 
 the Queen. " What would be the good of having it all 
 
 over again 
 
 By this time it was getting light. " The crow must 
 have flown away, I think," said Alice : " I'm so glad 
 it's gone. I thought it was the night coming on." 
 
 " I wish I could manage to be glad ! " the Queen said. 
 " Only I never can remember the rule. You must be 
 very happy, living in this wood, and being glad when- 
 ever you like ! " 
 
 " Only it is so very lonely here ! " Alice said, in a 
 melancholy voice; and at the thought of her loneliness 
 two large tears came rolling down her cheeks. 
 
 " Oh, don't go on like that ! " cried the poor Queen, 
 
198 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 wringing her hands in despair. " Consider what a great 
 girl you are. Consider what a long way you've come to- 
 day. Consider what o'clock it is. Consider anything, 
 only don't cry ! " 
 
 Alice could not help laughing at this, even in the 
 midst of her tears. " Can you keep from crying by 
 considering things ? " she asked. 
 
 " That's the way it's done," the Queen said with 
 great decision ; " nobody can do two things at once, you 
 know. Let's consider your age to begin with — how 
 old are you ? " 
 
 " I'm seven and a half exactly." 
 
 " You needn't say ' exactnally,' the Queen re- 
 marked : " I can believe it without that. Xow I'll give 
 you something to believe. I'm just one hundred and 
 one, rive months and a day." 
 
 "I can't believe that!''' said Alice. 
 
 " Can't you I ' the Queen said in a pitying tone. 
 " Try again : draw a long breath, and shut your 
 eyes." 
 
 Alice laughed. " There's no use trying," she said : 
 " one can't believe impossible things." 
 
 " I dare say you haven't had much practice," said 
 the Queen. " When I was your ac;e, I alwavs did it 
 for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed 
 as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There 
 goes the shawl again ! " 
 
 The brooch had come undone as she spoke, and a sud- 
 den gust of wind blew the Queen's shawl across a little 
 brook. The Queen spread out her arms again, and 
 went flying after it, and this time she succeeded in 
 catching it for herself. " I've got it ! " she cried in a 
 triumphant tone. " Xow you shall see me pin it on 
 again, all by myself ! " 
 
 " Then I hope your finger is better now? " Alice said 
 
WOOL AND WATER. 199 
 
 very politely, as she crossed the little brook after the 
 Queen. 
 
 * * * * * 
 
 * * * * 
 
 " Oh, much better ! " cried the Queen, her voice ris- 
 ing into a squeak as she went on. " Much be-etter ! 
 Be-etter ! Be-e-e-etter ! Be-e-ehh ! " The last word ended 
 in a long bleat, so like a sheep that Alice quite started. 
 
 She looked at the Queen, who seemed to have sud- 
 denly wrapped herself up in wooL Alice rubbed her 
 eyes, and looked again. She couldn't make out what 
 had happened at all. Was she in a shop ? And was that 
 
 really was it really a sheep that was sitting on the 
 
 other side of the counter ? Rub as she would, she could 
 make nothing more of it : she was in a little dark shop, 
 leaning with her elbows on the counter, and opposite 
 to her was an old Sheep, sitting in an arm-chair knit- 
 ting, and every now and then leaving off to look at her 
 through a great pair of spectacles. 
 
 " What is it you want to buy ? " the Sheep said at 
 last, looking up for a moment from her knitting. 
 
 I don't quite know yet," Alice said very gently. 
 I should like to look all around me first, if I might." 
 
 " You may look in front of you, and on both sides, if 
 you like," said the Sheep ; " but you can't look all round 
 you unless you've got eyes at the back of your head." 
 
 But these, as it happened, Alice had not got : so she 
 contented herself with turning round, looking at the 
 shelves as she came to them. 
 
 The shop seemed to be full of all manner of curious 
 things but the oddest part of it all was, that when- 
 ever she looked hard at any shelf, to make out exactly 
 
 a 
 
200 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 what it bad on it, that particular shelf was always quite 
 empty : though the others round it were crowded as full 
 as they could hold. 
 
 " Things flow about so here! " she said at last in a 
 plaintive tone, after she had spent a minute or so in 
 vainly pursuing a large bright thing, that looked some- 
 
 dir 
 
 mm 
 
 
 
 times like a doll and sometimes like a work-box, and 
 was always in the shelf next above the one she was look- 
 ing at. " And this one is the most provoking of all 
 
 but I'll tell you what " she added, as a sudden 
 
 thought struck her, " I'll follow it up to the very top 
 shelf of all. It'll puzzle it to go through the ceiling, I 
 expect ! " 
 
WOOL AND WATER. 201 
 
 But even this plan failed : the " thing " went through 
 the ceiling as quietly as possible, as if it were quite used 
 to it. 
 
 " Are you a child or a teetotum % " the Sheep said, 
 as she took up another pair of needles. " You'll make 
 me giddy soon, if you go on turning round like that." 
 She was now working with fourteen pairs at once, and 
 Alice couldn't help looking at her in great astonishment. 
 
 " How can she knit with so many % " the puzzled child 
 thought to herself. " She gets more and more like a 
 porcupine every minute ! " 
 
 " Can you row % " the Sheep asked, handing her a 
 pair of knitting-needles as she spoke. 
 
 " Yes, a little but not on land and not with 
 
 needles " Alice was beginning to say, when sud- 
 denly the needles turned into oars in her hands, and 
 she found they were in a little boat, gliding along be- 
 tween banks : so there was nothing for it but to do her 
 best. 
 
 " Feather ! " cried the Sheep, as she took up another 
 pair of needles. 
 
 This didn't sound like a remark that needed any 
 answer, so Alice said nothing, but pulled away. There 
 was something very queer about the water, she thought, 
 as every now and then the oars got fast in it, and 
 would hardly come out again. 
 
 " Feather ! Feather ! " the Sheep cried again, taking 
 more needles. " You'll be catching a crab directly." 
 
 " A dear little crab ! " thought Alice. " I should 
 like that." 
 
 " Didn't you hear me say ' Feather ' ? " the Sheep 
 cried angrily, taking up quite a bunch of needles. 
 
 " Indeed I did," said Alice : " you've said it very 
 often and very loud. Please, where are the crabs ? " 
 
 " In the water, of course ! " said the Sheep, sticking 
 
202 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 some of the needles into her hair, as her hands "were 
 full. " Feather, I say ! " 
 
 " Why do you say ' Feather ' so often ? ' : Alice 
 asked at last, rather vexed. " I'm not a bird ! " 
 
 " You are," said the Sheep : " you're a little goose." 
 
 This offended Alice a little, so there was no more 
 conversation for a minute or two, while the boat glided 
 gently on, sometimes among beds of weeds (which made 
 the oars stick fast in the water, worse than ever), and 
 sometimes under trees, but always with the same tall 
 river-banks frowning over their heads. 
 
 " Oh, please ! There are some scented rushes ! " Alice 
 cried in a sudden transport of delight. " There really 
 are and such beauties ! " 
 
 " You needn't say " please ' to me about 'em," the 
 Sheep said, without looking up from her knitting : " I 
 didn't put 'em there, and I'm not going to take 'em 
 away." 
 
 " Xo, but I meant please, may we wait and pick 
 
 some ? " Alice pleaded. " If you don't mind stopping 
 the boat for a minute." 
 
 " How am I to stop it ? " said the Sheep. " If you 
 leave off rowing, it'll stop of itself." 
 
 So the boat was left to drift down the stream as it 
 would, till it glided gently in among the waving rushes. 
 And then the little sleeves were carefully rolled up, 
 and the little arms were plunged in elbow-deep, to get 
 hold of the rushes a good long wav down before breaking 
 
 them off and for a while Alice forgot all about the 
 
 Sheep, and the knitting, as she bent over the side of the 
 boat, with just the ends of her tangled hair dipping 
 
 into the water while with bright, eager eves she 
 
 caught at one bunch after another of the darling scented 
 rushes. 
 
 " I only hope the boat won't tipple over ! " she said 
 
WOOL AND WATER. 203 
 
 to herself. " Oh, what a lovely one ! Only I couldn't 
 quite reach it." And it certainly did seem a little pro- 
 voking (" almost as if it happened on purpose," she 
 thought) that, though she managed to pick plenty of 
 beautiful rushes as the boat glided by, there was always 
 a more lovely one that she couldn't reach. 
 
 " The prettiest are always further ! " she said at last, 
 with a sigh at the obstinacy of the rushes in growing so 
 far off, as, with flushed cheeks and dripping hair and 
 hands, she scrambled back into her place, and began 
 to arrange her new-found treasures. 
 
 What mattered it to her just then that the rushes had 
 begun to fade, and to lose all their scent and beauty, 
 from the very moment that she picked them ? Even real 
 scented rushes, you know, last only a very little while 
 
 and these, being dream-rushes, melted away almost 
 
 like snow, as they lay in heaps at her feet but Alice 
 
 hardly noticed this, there were so many other curious 
 things to think about. 
 
 They hadn't gone much farther before the blade of 
 one of the oars got fast in the water and wouldn't come 
 out again (so Alice explained it afterward), and the 
 consequence was that the handle of it caught her under 
 the chin, and, in spite of a series of little shrieks of 
 " Oh, oh, oh ! " from poor Alice, it swept her straight 
 off the seat, an'd down among the heap of rushes. 
 
 However she wasn't a bit hurt, and was soon up 
 again : the Sheep went on with her knitting all the 
 while, just as if nothing had happened. " That was 
 a nice crab you caught ! " she remarked, as Alice got 
 back into her place, very much relieved to find herself 
 still in the boat. 
 
 " Was it? I didn't see it," said Alice, peeping cau- 
 tiously over the side of the boat into the dark water. 
 " I wish it hadn't let go 1 should so like a little crab 
 
204: 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-HOUSE. 
 
 to take home with me ! ' : But the Sheep only laughed 
 scornfully, and went on with her knitting. 
 
 " Are there many crabs here ( " said Alice. 
 
 " Crabs, and all sorts of things," said the Sheep: 
 " plenty of choice, only make up your mind. Now, 
 what do you want to buv ' ' 
 
 
 &7Z 
 
 v .-ji£y^r^^— . '-^ m -^j*" 
 
 " To buy ! " Alice echoed in a tone that was half as- 
 tonished and half frightened for the oars, and the 
 
 boat, and the river, had vanished all in a moment, and 
 she was back again in the little dark shop. 
 
 " I should like to buy an egg, please," she said tim- 
 idly. " How do you sell them ? " 
 
WOOL AND WATER. 205 
 
 u 
 
 Fivepence farthing for one twopence for two," 
 
 the Sheep replied. 
 
 " Then two are cheaper than one ? " Alice said in a 
 surprised tone, taking out her purse. 
 
 " Only you must eat them both, if you buy two," 
 said the Sheep. 
 
 " Then I'll have one, please," said Alice, as she put 
 the money down on the counter. For she thought to 
 herself, " They mightn't be at all nice, you know." 
 
 The Sheep took the money, and put it away in a 
 box : then she said, " I never put things into people's 
 
 hands that would never do you must get it for 
 
 yourself." And so saying, she went off to the other end 
 of the shop, and set the egg upright on a shelf. 
 
 " I Avonder why it wouldn't do ? " thought Alice, as 
 she groped her way among the tables and chairs, for the 
 shop was very dark toward the end. " The egg seems 
 to get further away the more I walk toward it. Let 
 me see, is this a chair. Why, it's got branches, I de- 
 clare ! How very odd to find trees growing here ! And 
 actually here's a little brook ! Well, this is the very 
 queerest shop I ever saw ! " 
 
 ***** 
 * # * * 
 
 ***** 
 
 So she went on, wondering more and more at every 
 step, as everything turned into a tree the moment she 
 came up to it, and she quite expected the egg to do the 
 same. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 HUMPTY DUMPTY. 
 
 However, the egg only got larger and larger, and 
 more and more human : when she had come within a 
 few yards of it, she saw that it had eyes and a nose and 
 mouth ; and when she had come close to it, she saw 
 clearly that it was HUMPTY DUMPTY himself. " It 
 can't be anybody else ! " she said to herself. " I'm as 
 certain of it, as if his name were written all over his 
 face ! " 
 
 It might have been written a hundred times, easily, 
 on that enormous face. Humpty Dumpty was sitting 
 with his legs crossed, like a Turk, on the top of a high 
 
 wall such a narrow one that Alice quite wondered 
 
 how he could keep his balance and, as his eyes were 
 
 steadily fixed in the opposite direction, and he didn't 
 take the least notice of her, she thought he must be a 
 stuffed figure after all. 
 
 " And how exactly like an egg he is ! " she said aloud, 
 standing with her hands ready to catch him, for she 
 was every moment expecting him to fall. 
 
 " It's very provoking," Humpty Dumpty said after 
 a long silence, looking aAvay from Alice as he spoke, " to 
 be called an egg very! " 
 
 " I said you looked like an egg, Sir," Alice gently 
 explained. " And some eggs are very pretty, you 
 know," she added, hoping to turn her remark into a sort 
 of compliment. 
 
 " Some people," said Humpty Dumpty, looking away 
 from her as usual, " have no more sense than a baby ! " 
 
HUMPTY DUMPTY. 207 
 
 Alice didn't know what to say to this: it wasn't at 
 all like conversation, she thought, as he never said 
 anything to her; in fact, his last remark was evidently 
 
 addressed to a tree so she stood and softly repeated 
 
 to herself: — 
 
 " Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall: 
 Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. 
 All the King's horses and all the King's men 
 Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty in his place again." 
 
 a 
 
 That last line is much too long for the poetry," she 
 added, almost out loud, forgetting that Humpty Dumpty 
 would hear her. 
 
 " Don't stand chattering to yourself like that," 
 Humpty Dumpty said, looking at her for the first time, 
 " but tell me your name and your business." 
 
 " My name is Alice, but " 
 
 " It's a stupid name enough ! " Humpty Dumpty 
 interrupted, impatiently. " What does it mean ? " 
 
 ' Must a name mean something ? " Alice asked, 
 doubtfully. 
 
 " Of course it must," Humpty Dumpty said, with a 
 
 short laugh : " my name means the shape I am and 
 
 a good, handsome shape it is, too. With a name like 
 yours, you might be any shape, almost." 
 
 " Why do you sit out here all alone ? " said Alice, 
 not wishing to begin an argument. 
 
 " Why, because there's nobody with me ! ' cried 
 Humpty Dumpty. " Did you think I didn't know the 
 answer to that? Ask another." 
 
 " Don't you think you'd be safer down on the 
 ground ? " Alice went on, not with any idea of making 
 another riddle, but simply in her good-natured anxiety 
 for the queer creature. " That wall is so very narrow ! " 
 
 " What tremendously easy riddles you ask ! " Humpty 
 
208 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 Dumpty growled out. "Of course I don't think so! 
 
 Why, if ever I did fall off which there's no chance 
 
 of hut if I did " Here he pursed up his lips, 
 
 and looked so solemn and grand that Alice could hardlv 
 help laughing. " If I did fall," he went on, " tJie King 
 
 has promised me all, you may turn pale, if you 
 
 like ! You didn't think I was going to say that, did 
 
 you? The King has promised me with his very 
 
 own mouth to to " 
 
 " To send all his horses and all his men," Alice in- 
 terrupted, rather unwisely. 
 
 " Xow I declare that's too had ! " Humpty Dumpty 
 cried, breaking into a sudden passion. " You've been 
 
 listening at doors and behind trees and down 
 
 chimneys— — or you couldn't have known it ! ' 
 
 " I haven't, indeed! " Alice said, very gently. " It's 
 in a book." 
 
 " Ah, well ! They may write such things in a book/' 
 Humpty Dumpty said, in a calmer tone. " That's what 
 you call a History of England, that is. Xow, take a 
 
 %J «.' O 7 7 
 
 good look at me ! I'm one that has spoken to a King, / 
 am : mayhap you'll never see such another : and to show 
 you I'm not proud, you may shake hands with me! ' 
 And he grinned almost from ear to ear, as he leaned 
 forward (and as nearly as possible fell off the wall in 
 doing so) and offered Alice his hand. She watched 
 him a little anxiously as she took it. " If he smiled 
 much more, the ends of his mouth might meet behind," 
 she thought; " and then I don't know what would hap- 
 pen to his head ! I'm afraid it would come off ! ' 
 
 " Yes, all his horses and all his men," Humpty 
 Dumpty went on. " They'd pick me up again in a 
 minute, they would ! However, this conversation is go- 
 ing on a little too fast; let's go back to the last remark 
 but one." 
 
HUMPTY DUMPTY. 
 
 209 
 
 "I'm afraid I can't 
 quite remember it, "Alice 
 said, very politely. 
 
 ' ' In that case we start 
 fresh," said Humpty 
 Dumpty, "and it's my 
 turn to choose a subject 
 
 " ("He talks about 
 
 it just as if it was a game!" thought Alice.) So 
 here's a question for you. How old did you say you 
 were ? ' ' 
 
 Alice made a short calculation, and said, " Seven 
 years and six months." 
 
 " Wrong ! " Humpty Dumpty exclaimed, trium- 
 phantly. " You never said a word like it ! " 
 
 " I thought you meant l How old are you ? ' " Alice 
 explained. 
 
 " If I'd meant that, I'd have said it," said Humpty 
 Dumpty. 
 
 Alice didn't want to begin another argument, so she 
 said nothing. 
 
 " Seven years and six months ! " Humpty Dumpty 
 14 
 
210 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 repeated, thoughtfully. " An uncomfortable sort of 
 age. Now if you'd ask my advice, I'd have said, ' Leave 
 off at seven ' — but it's too late now." 
 
 " I never ask advice about growing," Alice said, in- 
 dignantlv. 
 
 " Too proud % " the other inquired. 
 
 Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion. " I 
 mean," she said, " that one can't help growing older." 
 
 " One can't, perhaps," said Humpty Dumpty, " but 
 two can. With proper assistance, you might have left 
 off at seven." 
 
 " What a beautiful belt you've got on ! " Alice sud- 
 denly remarked. (They had had quite enough of the 
 subject of age, she thought : and if they really were to 
 take turns in choosing subjects, it was her turn now.) 
 " At least," she corrected herself on second thoughts, 
 
 " a beautiful cravat, I should have said no, a belt, I 
 
 mean 1 beg your pardon ! " she added, in dismay, 
 
 for Humpty Dumpty looked thoroughly offended, and 
 she began to wish she hadn't chosen that subject. " If 
 only I knew," she thought to herself, " which was neck 
 and which was waist ! " 
 
 Evidently Humpty Dumpty was very angry, though 
 he said nothing for a minute or two. When he did 
 speak, it was in a deep growl. 
 
 " It is a most provoking thing," he said 
 
 at last, " when a person doesn't know a cravat from a 
 belt!" 
 
 " I know it's very ignorant of me," Alice said, in so 
 humble a tone that Humpty Dumpty relented. 
 
 " It's a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you 
 say. It's a present from the White King and Queen. 
 There now ! " 
 
 " Is it really ? " said Alice, quite pleased to find that 
 she had chosen a good subject, after all. 
 
HUMPTY DUMPTY. 211 
 
 " They gave it me," Humpty Dumpty continued, 
 thoughtfully, as he crossed one knee over the other and 
 clasped his hands round it, " they gave it me — for an 
 un-birthday present." 
 
 " I beg your pardon ? " Alice said, with a puzzled 
 air. 
 
 " I'm not offended," said Humpty Dumpty. 
 
 " I mean, what is an un-birthday present ? ' : 
 
 " A present given when it isn't your birthday, of 
 course." 
 
 Alice considered a little. " I like birthday presents 
 best," she said, at last. 
 
 " You don't know what you're talking about ! ' 
 cried Humpty Dumpty. " How many days are there 
 in a year ? " 
 
 " Three hundred and sixty-five," said Alice. 
 
 " And how many birthdays have you % " 
 
 "One." 
 
 " And if you take one from three hundred and sixty- 
 five, what remains ? " 
 
 " Three hundred and sixty-four, of course." 
 
 Humpty Dumpty looked doubtful. " I'd rather see 
 that done on paper," he said. 
 
 Alice couldn't help smiling as she took out her memo- 
 randum book, and worked the sum for him : 
 
 365 
 1 
 
 364 
 
 Humpty Dumpty took the book, and looked at it 
 carefully. " That seems to be done right " he be- 
 gan. 
 
 " You're holding it upside down ! " Alice interrupted. 
 
 " To be sure I was ! " Humpty Dumpty said, gaily, as 
 
212 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 she turned it round for him. " I thought it looked a 
 little queer. As I was saying, that seems to be done 
 right though I haven't time to look it over thorough- 
 ly just now and that shows that there are three hun- 
 dred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birth- 
 day presents " 
 
 " Certainly/' said Alice. 
 
 " And only one for birthday presents, you know. 
 There's glory for you ! " 
 
 "I don't know what. you mean by 'glory,'" Alice 
 said. 
 
 Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. " Of 
 course you don't — till I tell you. I meant ' there's a 
 nice knock-down argument for you ! ' " 
 
 " But ' glory ' doesn't mean ' a nice knock-down ar- 
 gument,' " Alice objected. 
 
 " When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in 
 rather a scornful tone, " it means just what I choose it 
 to mean neither more nor less." 
 
 " The question is," said Alice, " whether you can 
 make words mean so many different things." 
 
 " The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, " which 
 is to be master that's all." 
 
 Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so 
 after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. " They've 
 
 a temper, some of them particularly verbs, they're 
 
 the proudest adjectives you can do anything with, 
 
 but not verbs however, / can manage the whole lot 
 
 of them ! Impenetrability ! That's what / say ! ' 
 
 " Would you tell me, please," said Alice, " what that 
 
 means 
 
 « AT 
 
 ? » 
 
 Now you talk like a reasonable child," said Humpty 
 Dumpty, looking very much pleased. " I meant by 
 i impenetrability ' that we've had enough of that sub- 
 ject, and it would be just as well if you'd mention what 
 
HUMPTY DUMPTY. 213 
 
 you mean to do next, as I suppose you don't mean to 
 stop here all the rest of your life." 
 
 " That's a great deal to make one word mean," Alice 
 said, in a thoughtful tone. 
 
 " When I make a word do a lot of work like that," 
 said Humpty Dumpty, " I always pay it extra." 
 
 " Oh ! " said Alice. She was too much puzzled to 
 make any other remark. 
 
 " Ah, you should see 'em come round me of a Sat- 
 urday night," Humpty Dumpty went on, wagging his 
 head gravely from side to side : " for to get their wages, 
 you know." 
 
 (Alice didn't venture to ask what he paid them with ; 
 and so you see I can't tell you.) 
 
 " You seem very clever at explaining words, Sir," 
 said Alice. " Would you kindly tell me the meaning 
 of the poem called ' Jabberwocky ' ? " 
 
 " Let's hear it," said Humpty Dumpty. " I can ex- 
 plain all the poems that ever were invented and a 
 
 good many that haven't been invented just yet." 
 
 This sounded very hopeful, so Alice repeated the first 
 verse : 
 
 " 'Tivas briUig, and the slithy toves 
 
 Did gyve and gimble in the wdbe: 
 All mimsy were the borogoves, 
 And the mome raths outgrabe." 
 
 " That's enough to begin with," Humpty Dumpty in- 
 terrupted : " there are plenty of hard words there. 
 
 ' Brillig ' means four o'clock in the afternoon the 
 
 time when you begin broiling things for dinner." 
 " That'll 'do very well," said Alice: " and ' slithy T y 
 " Well, ' slithy ' means ' lithe and slimy,' ' Lithe ' 
 is the same as ' active.' You see it's like a portmanteau 
 
014 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 ihere are two meanings packed up into one word." 
 
 " I see it now," Alice remarked thoughtfully : " and 
 
 what are ' toves'V 
 
 " Well ' tores ' are something like badgers they're 
 
 something like lizards and they're something like 
 
 corkscrews." 
 
 " They must be very curious-looking creatures." 
 
 " They are that," said Humpty Dumpty: " also tiey 
 
 make their nests under sun-dials also they live on 
 
 cheese." 
 
 And what's to ' gyre ' and to ' gimble *? " 
 
 To ' gyre ' is to go round and round like a gyro- 
 
 u 
 (I 
 
HUMPTY DUMPTY. 215 
 
 scope. To ' gimble' is to make holes like a gimblet." 
 
 " And ' the wabe ' is the grass-plot round a sun-dial, I 
 suppose ? " said Alice, surprised at her own ingenuity. 
 
 " Of course it is. It's called ' wabe,' you know, be- 
 cause it goes a long way before it, and a long way be- 
 hind it " 
 
 " And a long way beyond it on each side," Alice 
 added. 
 
 " Exactly so. Well then, ' mimsy ' is ' flimsy and 
 miserable ' (there's another portmanteau for you. And 
 a ' borogove ' is a thin, shabby-looking bird with its 
 
 feathers sticking out all round something like a live 
 
 mop." 
 
 "And then ' mome ruths'?'' said Alice. "I'm 
 afraid I'm giving you a great deal of trouble." 
 
 " Well, a ' ratli ' is a sort of green pig: but ' mome ' 
 I'm not certain about. I think it's short for ' from 
 
 home ' meaning that they'd lost their way, you 
 
 know." 
 
 " And what does ' outgrabe ' mean % " 
 
 " Well, ' outgribing ' is something between bellowing 
 and whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle : how- 
 ever, you'll hear it done, maybe down in the wood 
 
 yonder and when you've once heard it you'll be 
 
 quite content. Who's been repeating all that hard stuff 
 to you ? " 
 
 " I read it in a book," said Alice. " But I had some 
 
 poetry repeated to me, much easier than that, by ■ 
 
 Tweedledee, I think it was." 
 
 " As to poetry, you know," said Humpty Dumpty, 
 stretching out one of his great hands, " I can repeat 
 poetry as well as other folk, if it comes to that " 
 
 " Oh, it needn't come to that ! " Alice hastily said, 
 hoping to keep him from beginning. 
 
 " The piece I'm going to repeat," he went on, without 
 
216 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 noticing her remark, " was written entirely for your 
 amusement." 
 
 Alice felt that in that case she really ought to listen 
 to it, so she sat down, and said " Thank you," rather 
 sadly. 
 
 ' In winter, when the fields are white, 
 I sing this song for your delight 
 
 only I don't sing it," he added, as an explanation. 
 
 " I see you don't," said Alice. 
 
 " If you can see whether I'm singing or not, you've 
 sharper eyes than most," Ilumpty Dumpty remarked 
 severely. Alice was silent. 
 
 " In spring, when woods are getting green, 
 I'll try and tell you what I mean." 
 
 " Thank you very much," said Alice. 
 
 " In summer, when the days are long, 
 Perhaps you'll understand the song: 
 
 " In autumn, when the leaves are brown, 
 Take pen and ink, and write it down." 
 
 " I will, if I can remember it so long," said Alice. 
 
 " You needn't go on making remarks like that," 
 Humpty Dumpty said : " they're not sensible, and they 
 put me out." 
 
 " I sent a message to the fish: 
 I told them ' This is what I wish/ 
 
 The little fishes of the sea, 
 They sent an answer back to me. 
 
HUMPTY DUMPTY. 217 
 
 " The little fishes' answer was 
 ' We cannot do it, Sir, because- 
 
 ) it 
 
 " I'm afraid I don't quite understand," said Alice. 
 " It get's easier further on/' Humpty Dumpty re- 
 plied." 
 
 " / sent to them again to say 
 ' It will be better to obey.' 
 
 " The fishes answered with a grin, 
 ' Why, what a temper you are in! ' 
 
 " I told them once, I told them twice : 
 They woidd not listen to advice. 
 
 " I took a kettle large and new, 
 Fit for the deed I had to do. 
 
 " My heart went hop, my heart went thump; 
 I filled the kettle at the pump. 
 
 " Then some one came to me and said, 
 ' The little fishes are in bed.' 
 
 " I said to him, I said it plain, 
 i Then you must wake them up again.' 
 
 " I said it very loud and clear ; 
 I went and shouted in his ear." 
 
 ■ 
 
 Humpty Dumpty raised his voice almost to a scream 
 as he repeated this verse, and Alice thought with a shud- 
 der, " I wouldn't have been the messenger for any- 
 thing ! " 
 
218 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 "But lie was very stiff and proud; 
 He said 'You needn't shout so loud!' 
 
 And lie was very proud and stiff ; 
 He said ' I'd go and wake them, if- 
 
 I took a corkscrew from the shelf : 
 I went to wake them up myself. 
 
 "And when I found the door was locked, 
 I pulled and pushed and kicked and kmcked. 
 
 "And ichen I found the door was shut, 
 I tried to turn the handle, but " 
 
 There was a long pause. 
 
 " Is that all ? " Alice timidly asked. 
 
HUMPTY DUMPTY. 219 
 
 " That's all," said Humpty Dumpty. " Good-bye." 
 
 This was rather sudden, Alice thought : but, after such 
 a very strong hint that she ought to be going, she felt 
 that it would hardly be civil to stay. So she got up, and 
 held out her hand. " Good-bye, till we meet again ! " 
 she said as cheerfully as she could. 
 
 " I shouldn't know you again if we did meet," 
 Humpty Dumpty replied in a discontented tone, giving 
 her one of his fingers to shake ; " you're so exactly like 
 other people." 
 
 " The face is what one goes by, generally," Alice re- 
 marked in a thoughtful tone. 
 
 " That's just what I complain of," said Humpty 
 Dumpty. " Your face is the same as everybody has 
 
 -the two eyes, so " (marking their places in the 
 
 air with his thumb) " nose in the middle, mouth under. 
 It's always the same. ISTow if you had the two eyes on 
 
 the same side of the nose, for instance or the mouth 
 
 at the top — ■ — that would be some help." 
 
 " It wouldn't look nice," Alice objected. But 
 Humpty Dumpty only shut his eyes and said, " Wait 
 till you've tried." 
 
 Alice waited a minute to see if he would speak again, 
 but as he never opened his eyes or took any further 
 notice of her, she said " Good-bye ! " once more, and, 
 getting no answer to this, she quietly walked away: but 
 she couldn't help saying to herself as she went, " Of 
 
 all the unsatisfactory " (she repeated this aloud, as 
 
 it was a great comfort to have such a long word to say) 
 
 " of all the unsatisfactory people I ever met -" She 
 
 never finished the sentence, for at this moment a heavy 
 crash shook the forest from end to end. 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 
 
 The next moment soldiers came running through the 
 wood, at first in twos and threes, then ten or twenty to- 
 gether, and at last in such crowds that they seemed to 
 fill the whole forest. Alice got behind a tree, for fear 
 of being run over, and watched them go by. 
 
 She thought that in all her life she had never seen 
 soldiers so uncertain on their feet : they were always 
 tripping over something or other, and whenever one 
 went down, several more always fell over him, so that 
 the ground was soon covered with little heaps of men. 
 
 Then came the horses. Having four feet these man- 
 aged rather better than the foot-soldiers : but even they 
 stumbled now and then : and it seemed to be a regular 
 rule that, whenever a horse stumbled, the rider fell off 
 instantly. The confusion got worse every moment, and 
 Alice was very glad to get out of the wood into an open 
 place, where she found the White King seated on the 
 ground, busily writing in his memorandum-book. 
 
 " I've sent them all ! " the King cried in a tone of de- 
 light, on seeing Alice. " Did you happen to meet any 
 soldiers, my dear, as you came through the wood ? ' : 
 
 "Yes, I did," said Alice: "several thousand, I 
 should think." 
 
 " Four thousand two hundred and seven, that's the 
 exact number," the King said, referring to his book. 
 " I couldn't send all the horses, you know, because two 
 of them are wanted in the game. And I haven't sent the 
 two Messengers, either. They're both gone to the town. 
 
 220 
 
THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 
 
 221 
 
 Just look along the road, and tell me if you can see 
 either of them." 
 
 " I see nobody on the road," said Alice. 
 
 "I only wish I had such eyes," the King remarked 
 in a fretful tone. " To be able to see Nobody ! And at 
 that distance too ! Why, it's as much as I can do to see 
 real people by this light ! " 
 
 All this was lost on Alice, who was still looking in- 
 tently along the road, shading her eyes with one hand. 
 " I see somebody now ! " she exclaimed at last. " But 
 
 he's coming very slowly and what curious attitudes 
 
 he goes into ! " (For the Messenger kept skipping up 
 
222 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 and down, and wriggling like an eel, as he came along, 
 with his great hands spread out like fans on each side.) 
 
 " Not at all," said the King. " He's an Anglo-Saxon 
 
 Messenger and those are Anglo-Saxon attitudes. 
 
 He only does them when he's happy. His name is 
 Haigha." (He pronounced it so as to rhyme with 
 " mayor.'') 
 
 " I love my love with an II," Alice couldn't help be- 
 ginning, " because he is Happy. I hate him with an 
 
 II, because he is Hideous. I feed him with with 
 
 with Ham-sandwiches and Hay. His name is 
 
 Haigha, and he lives " 
 
 " He lives on the Hill," the King remarked simply, 
 without the least idea that he was joining in the game, 
 while Alice was still hesitating for the name of a town 
 beginning with II. " The other Messenger's called 
 Hatta. I must have two, you know — to come and go. 
 One to come, and one to go." 
 
 " I beg your pardon ? " said Alice. 
 
 " It isn't respectable to beg," said the King. 
 
 " I only meant that I didn't understand," said Alice. 
 " Whv one to come and one to go ? " 
 
 " Don't I tell you ? " the King repeated impatiently. 
 
 " I must have two to fetch and carry. One to fetch, 
 
 and one to carry." 
 
 At this moment the Messenger arrived : he was far too 
 much out of breath to say a word, and could only wave 
 his hands about, and make the most fearful faces at 
 the poor King. 
 
 " This young lady loves you with an II," the King 
 said, introducing Alice in the hope of turning off the 
 
 messenger's attention from himself but it was no use 
 
 ■ the Anglo-Saxon attitudes only got more extraordi- 
 nary every moment, while the great eyes rolled wildly 
 from side to side. 
 
THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 
 
 223 
 
 " You alarm me ! " said the King. " I feel faint 
 
 Give me a ham sandwich ! " 
 
 On which the Messenger, to Alice's great amusement, 
 opened a bag that hung round his neck, and handed a 
 sandwich to the King, who devoured it greedily. 
 
 " Another sandwich ! " said the King. 
 
 " There's nothing but hay left now," the Messenger 
 said, peeping into the bag. 
 
 " Hay, then," the King murmured, in a faint whis- 
 per. 
 
 Alice was glad to see that it revived him a good deal. 
 " There's nothing like eating hay when you're faint," 
 he remarked to her, as he munched awav. 
 
 " I should think throwing cold water over you would 
 be better," Alice suggested : " or some sal-volatile." 
 
 " I didn't say there was nothing better," the King 
 replied. " I said there was nothing like it." Which 
 Alice did not venture to deny. 
 
224 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 " Who did you pass on the road ? " the King went 
 on, holding out his hand to the Messenger for some 
 more hay. 
 
 " Nobody," said the Messenger. 
 
 "Quite right," said the King: "this young lady 
 saw him too. So of course Nobody walks slower than 
 you." 
 
 " I do my best," the Messenger said in a sullen tone. 
 " I'm sure nobody walks much faster than I do ! " 
 
 " He can't do that," said the King, " or else he'd have 
 been here first. However, now you've got your breath, 
 you may tell us what's happened in the town." 
 
 " I'll whisper it," said the Messenger, putting his 
 hands to his mouth in the shape of a trumpet, and stoop- 
 ing so as to get close to the King's ear. Alice was sorrv 
 for this, as she wanted to hear the news too. However, 
 instead of whispering, he simply shouted at the top of 
 his voice, " They're at it again ! " 
 
 " Do you call that a whisper ? " cried the poor King, 
 jumping up and shaking himself. " If you do such a 
 thing again, I'll have you buttered ! It went through 
 and through my head like an earthquake ! ' 
 
 " It would have to be a very tiny earthquake ! ' 
 thought Alice. " Who are at it again ? " she ventured 
 to ask. 
 
 " Why, the Lion and the Unicorn, of course," said 
 the King. 
 
 " Fighting for the crown ? " 
 
 " Yes, to be sure," said the King: " and the best of 
 the joke is, that it's my crown all the while ! Let's run 
 and see them." And they trotted off, Alice repeating to 
 herself, as she ran, the words of the old song: — 
 
 Te The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown: 
 The Lion heat the Unicorn all round the town. 
 
THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 225 
 
 Some gave them white bread, some gave them brown; 
 Some gave them plum-cake and drummed them out of 
 town." 
 
 " Does the one that wins get the 
 
 crown ? " she asked, as well as she could, for the run was 
 putting her quite out of breath. 
 
 " Dear me, no ! " said the King. " What an idea ! " 
 
 " Would you be good enough," Alice panted out, 
 
 after running a little further, " to stop a minute ■ 
 
 just to get one's breath again ? " 
 
 " I'm good enough," the King said, " only I'm not 
 strong enough. You see, a minute goes by so fearfully 
 quick. You might as well try to stop a Bandersnatch ! " 
 
 Alice had no more breath for talking, so they trotted 
 on in silence, till they came in sight of a great crowd, 
 in the middle of which the Lion and Unicorn were 
 fighting. They were in such a cloud of dust, that at first 
 Alice could not make out which was which: but she 
 soon managed to distinguish the Unicorn bv his horn. 
 
 They placed themselves close to where Hatta, the 
 other Messenger, was standing watching the first, with 
 a cup of tea in one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter 
 in the other. 
 
 " He's only just out of prison, and he hadn't finished 
 his tea when he was sent in," Haigha whispered to 
 Alice : " and they only gave them oyster-shells in there 
 
 ■ so you see he's very hungry and thirsty. How are 
 
 you, dear child ? " he went on, putting his arm affec- 
 tionately round Hatta's neck. 
 
 Hatta looked round and nodded, and went on with 
 his bread-and-butter. 
 
 " Were you happy in prison, dear child ? " said 
 Haigha. 
 
 Hatta looked round once more, and this time a tear 
 15 
 
226 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 or two trickled down his cheek: but not a word would 
 lie say. 
 
 " Speak, can't you ! " Haigha cried impatiently. But 
 Hatta only munched away, and drank some more tea. 
 
 " Speak, won't you ! " cried the King. " How are 
 they getting on Avith the fight ? " 
 
 Hatta made a desperate effort, and swallowed a large 
 piece of bread-and-butter. " They're getting on very 
 well," he said in a choking voice: ''each of them has 
 ibeen down about eighty-seven times." 
 
 a 
 
 Then I suppose they'll soon bring the white bread 
 -and the brown ? " Alice ventured to remark. 
 
 "It's waiting for 'em now," said Hatta: "this is a 
 bit of it as I'm eating." 
 
 There was a pause in the fight just then, and the 
 Lion and the Unicorn sat down, panting, while the 
 King called out " Ten minutes allowed for refresh- 
 ments ! " Haigha and Hatta set to work at once, car- 
 rying round trays of white and brown bread. Alice 
 7i.ook a piece to taste, but it was very dry. 
 
THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 22? 
 
 " I don't think they'll fight any more to-day," the 
 King said to Hatta : " go and order the drums to begin." 
 And Hatta went bounding away like a grasshopper. 
 
 For a minute or two Alice stood silent, watching 
 him. Suddenly she brightened up. " Look ! look ! " she 
 cried, pointing eagerly. " There's the White Queen 
 running across the country ! She came flying out <# 
 
 the wood over yonder How fast those Queens can 
 
 run ! " " 
 
 " There's some enemy after her, no doubt," the King 
 said, without even looking round. " That wood's full 
 of them." 
 
 " But aren't you going to run and help her ? " Alice 
 asked, very much surprised at his taking it so quietly. 
 
 " ISTo use, no use ! " said the King. " She runs so 
 fearfully quick. You might as well try to catch a Ban- 
 dersnatch ! But I'll make a memorandum about her,. 
 
 if you like She's a dear good creature," he repeated 
 
 softly to himself, as he opened his memorandum-book. 
 " Do you spell ' creature ' with a double ' e ' ? ' : 
 
 At this moment the Unicorn sauntered by them, with 
 his hands in his pockets. " I had the best of it this 
 time ? " he said to the King, just glancing at him as he 
 passed. 
 
 " A little a little," the King replied, rather ner- 
 vously. " You shouldn't have run him through with 
 your horn, you know." 
 
 " It didn't hurt him," the Unicorn said carelessly., 
 and he was going on, when his eye happened to fall upon 
 Alice: he turned round instantly, and stood for some- 
 time looking at her with an air of the deepest dis- 
 gust. 
 
 " What is this ? " he said at last. 
 
 " This is a child ! " Haigha replied eagerly, coming, 
 in front of Alice to introduce her, and spreading out 
 
228 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 both his hands toward her in an Anglo-Saxon attitude. 
 " We only found it to-day. It's as large as life, and 
 twice as natural ! " 
 
 " I always thought they were fabulous monsters ! ' : 
 said the Unicorn. " Is it alive \ " 
 
 " It can talk," said Haigha, solemnly. 
 
 The Unicorn looked dreamily at Alice, and said 
 " Talk, child." 
 
 Alice could not help her lips curling up into a smile 
 as she began : " Do you know, I always thought Uni- 
 corns were fabulous monsters, too ! I never saw one 
 alive before ! " 
 
 " Well, now that we have seen each other," said the 
 Unicorn, " if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you. 
 Is that a bargain \ " 
 
 " Yes, if you like," said Alice. 
 
 " Come, fetch out the plum-cake, old man ! ' the 
 Unicorn went on, turning from her to the King. " Xone 
 of your brown bread for me ! " 
 
 " Certainly certainly ! " the Kinsr muttered, and 
 
 beckoned to Haigha. " Open the bag ! " he whispered. 
 " Quick ! ISTot that one that's full of hay ! " 
 
 Haigha took a large cake out of the bag, and gave 
 it to Alice to hold, while he got out a dish and carving- 
 knife. How they all came out of it Alice couldn't 
 guess. It was just like a conjuring-trick, she thought. 
 
 The Lion had joined them while this was going on: 
 he looked very tired and sleepy, and his eyes were half 
 shut. " What's this ! " he said, blinking lazily at Alice, 
 and speaking in a deep hollow tone that sounded like the 
 tolling of a great bell. 
 
 " Ah, what is it, now \ " the Unicorn cried eagerly. 
 " You'll never guess ! I couldn't." 
 
 The Lion looked at Alice wearily. " Are you animal 
 
THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 
 
 229 
 
 or vegetable or mineral ? " he said, yawning at 
 
 every other word. 
 
 " It's a fabulous monster ! " the Unicorn cried out, 
 before Alice could reply. 
 
 " Then hand round the plum-cake, Monster," the 
 Lion said, lying down and putting his chin on his paws. 
 "And sit down, both of you," (to the King and the 
 Unicorn) : " fair play with the cake, you know! ' : 
 
 The King was evidently very uncomfortable at hav- 
 ing to sit down between the two great creatures; but 
 there was no other place for him. 
 
 " What a fight we might have for the crown, now!" 
 the Unicorn said, looking slyly up at the crown, which 
 the poor King was nearly shaking off his head, he trem- 
 bled so much. 
 
 " I should win easy," said the Lion. 
 
 " I'm not so sure of that," said the Unicorn. 
 
 " Why, I beat you all round the town, you chicken ! " 
 the Lion replied angrily, half getting up as he spoke. 
 
 Here the King interrupted, to prevent the quarrel 
 
230 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 going on: he was very nervous, and his voice quite 
 quivered. " All round the town ? " he said. " That's 
 a good long way. Did you go by the old bridge, or the 
 market-place ? You get the best view by the old 
 bridge." 
 
 " I'm sure I don't know," the Lion growled out as 
 he lay down again. " There was too much dust to see 
 anvthing. What a time the Monster is, cutting up that 
 cake!" 
 
 Alice had seated herself on the bank of a little brook, 
 with the great dish on her knees, and was sawing away 
 diligently with the knife. " It's very provoking ! " she 
 said, in reply to the Lion (she was getting quite used to 
 being called " the Monster "). " I've cut several slices 
 already, but they alwavs "join on again ! " 
 
 " You don't know how to manage Looking-glass 
 cakes," the Unicorn remarked. " Hand it round first, 
 and cut it afterward." 
 
 This sounded nonsense, but Alice very obediently 
 got up, and carried the dish round, and the cake divided 
 itself into three pieces as she did so. " Now cut it up," 
 said the Lion, as she returned to her place with the 
 empty dish. 
 
 " I say, this isn't fair ! " cried the Lmicorn, as Alice 
 sat with the knife in her hand, very much puzzled how 
 to begin. " The Monster has given the Lion twice as 
 much as me ! " 
 
 " She's kept none for herself, anyhow," said the Lion. 
 " Do you like plum-cake, Monster ? " 
 
 But before Alice could answer him, the drums began. 
 
 Where the noise came from, she couldn't make out : 
 the air seemed full of it, and it rang through and 
 through her head till she felt quite deafened. She 
 started to her feet and sprang across the little brook in 
 her terror, and had just time to see the Lion and the 
 
THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 
 
 231 
 
 Unicorn rise to their feet, with angry looks at being 
 interrupted in their feast, before she dropped to her 
 knees, and put her hands over her ears, vainly trying to 
 shut out the dreadful uproar. 
 
 " If that doesn't ' drum them out of town/ " she 
 thought to herself, " nothing ever will ! " 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 " it's my own invention." 
 
 After a while the noise seemed gradually to die 
 away, till all was dead silence, and AJice lifted up her 
 head in some alarm. There was no one to he seen, and 
 her first thought was that she must have been dreaming 
 about the Lion and the Unicorn and those queer Anglo- 
 Saxon Messengers. However, there was the great dish 
 still lying at her feet, on which she had tried to cut 
 the plum-cake, " So I wasn't dreaming, after all," she 
 
 said to herself, " unless unless we're all part of the 
 
 same dream. Only I do hope it's my dream, and not the 
 Red King's ! I don't like belonging to another person's 
 dream," she went on in a rather complaining tone: 
 " I've a great mind to go and wake him, and see what 
 happens ! " 
 
 At this moment her thoughts were interrupted by a 
 loud shouting of " Ahoy ! Ahoy ! Check ! ' and a 
 Knight, dressed in crimson armor, came galloping down 
 upon her, brandishing a great club. Just as he reached 
 her, the horse stopped suddenly : " You're my pris- 
 oner ! " the Knight cried, as he tumbled off his horse. 
 
 Startled as she was, Alice was more frightened for 
 him than for herself at the moment, and watched him 
 with some anxiety as he mounted again. As soon as he 
 was comfortably in the saddle, he began once more 
 
 " You're my " but here another voice broke in 
 
 " Ahoy ! Ahoy ! Check ! " and Alice looked round in 
 some surprise for the new enemy. 
 
 232 
 
"IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 233 
 
 This time it was a White Knight. He drew up at 
 Alice's side, and tumbled off his horse just as the Red 
 Knight had done : then he got on again, and the two 
 Knights sat and looked at each other for some time 
 without speaking. Alice looked from one to the other 
 in some bewilderment. 
 
 " She's my prisoner, you know ! " the Red Knight 
 said at last. 
 
 " Yes, but then I came and rescued her! " the White 
 Knight replied. 
 
 " Well, we must fight for her, then," said the Red 
 Knight, as he took up his helmet (which hung from the 
 saddle, and was something the shape of a horse's head), 
 and put it on. 
 
 " You will observe the Rules of Battle, of course ? " 
 the White Knight remarked, putting on his helmet too. 
 
 " I always do," said the Red Knight, and they began 
 banging away at each other with such fury that Alice 
 got behind a tree to be out of the way of the blows). 
 
 " I wonder, now, what the Rules of Battle are/' she 
 said to herself, as she watched the fight, timidly peep- 
 ing out from her hiding-place : " one Rule seems to be, 
 that if one Knight hits the other, he knocks him off his 
 
 horse, and if he misses, he tumbles off himself and 
 
 another Rule seems to be that they hold their clubs with 
 
 their arms, as if they were Punch and Judy What a 
 
 noise they make when they tumble ! Just like a whole 
 set of fire-irons falling into the fender ! And how quiet 
 the horses are ! They let them get on and off them just 
 as if they were tables ! " 
 
 Another Rule of Battle, that Alice had not noticed, 
 seemed to be that they always fell on their heads, and 
 the battle ended with their both falling off in this way, 
 side by side : when they got up again, they shook hands, 
 and then the Red Knight mounted and galloped off. 
 
234 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 " It was a glorious 
 
 victory, wasn't it ? "' said the 
 White Knight, as he came up panting. 
 
 " I don't know," Alice said doubtfully. " I don't 
 want to be anybody's prisoner. I want to be a Queen." 
 
 " So you will, when you've crossed the next brook," 
 said the White Knight. " I'll see you safe to the end 
 
 of the wood and then I must go back, you know. 
 
 That's the end of my move." 
 
 " Thank you very much," said Alice. " May I help 
 you off with your helmet ? " It was evidently more than 
 he could manage by himself ; however she managed to 
 shake him out of it at last. 
 
 " Now one can breathe more easily," said the Knight, 
 putting back his shaggy hair with both hands, and 
 turning his gentle face and large mild eyes to Alice. 
 She thought she had never seen such a strange-looking 
 soldier in all her life. 
 
"IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 235 
 
 He was dressed in tin armor, which seemed to fit 
 him very badly, and he had a queer-shaped little deal 
 box fastened across his shoulders, upside-down, and 
 with the lid hanging open. Alice looked at it with great 
 curiosity. 
 
 " I se'e you're admiring my little box," the Knight 
 
 said in a friendly tone. " It's my own invention to 
 
 keep clothes and sandwiches in. You see I carry it 
 upside-down, so that the rain can't get in." 
 
 " But the things can get out," Alice gently remarked. 
 " Do you not know the lid's open ? " 
 
 " I didn't know it," the Knight said, a shade of vexa- 
 tion passing over his face. " Then all the things must 
 have fallen out ! And the box is no use without them." 
 He unfastened it as he spoke, and was just going to 
 throw it into the bushes, when a sudden thought seemed 
 to strike him, and he hung it carefully on a tree. " Can 
 you guess why I did that \ " he said to Alice. 
 
 Alice shook her head. 
 
 " In hopes some bees may make a nest in it then 
 
 I should get the honey." 
 
 " But you've got a beehive or something like one 
 
 fastened to the saddle," said Alice. 
 
 " Yes, it's a very good beehive," the Knight said in 
 a discontented tone, " one of the best kind. But not a 
 single bee has come near it yet. And the other thing 
 is a mouse-trap. I suppose the mice keep the bees out 
 or the bees keep the mice out, I don't know which." 
 
 " I was wondering what the mouse-trap was for," said 
 Alice. " It isn't very likely there would be any mice 
 on the horse's back." 
 
 " Not very likely, perhaps," said the Knight ; " but 
 if they do come, I don't choose to have them running all 
 about. 
 
 " You see," he went on after a pause, " it's as well 
 
236 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 to be provided for everything. That's the reason the 
 horse has all those anklets round his feet." 
 
 " But what are they for ? " Alice asked in a tone of 
 great curiosity. 
 
 " To guard against the bites of sharks," the Knight 
 replied. " It's an invention of my own. And now help 
 
 me on. I'll go with you to the end of the wood 
 
 What's that dish for ? " 
 
 " It's meant for plum-cake," said Alice. 
 
 " We'd better take it with us," the Knight said. 
 " It'll come in handy if we find any plum-cake. Help 
 me to get it into this bag." 
 
 This took a long time to manage, though Alice held 
 the bag open very carefully, because the Knight was so 
 very awkward in putting in the dish : the first two or 
 three times that he tried he fell in himself instead. 
 " It's rather a tight fit, you see," he said, as they got it 
 in at last : " there are so many candlesticks in the bag." 
 And he hung it to the saddle, which was already loaded 
 with bunches of carrots, and fire-irons, and many other 
 things. 
 
 " I hope you've got your hair well fastened on ? ' : 
 he continued, as they set off. 
 
 " Only in the usual way," Alice said, smiling. 
 
 " That's hardly enough," he said, anxiously. " You 
 see the wind is so very strong here. It's as strong as 
 soup." 
 
 " Have you invented a plan for keeping the hair 
 from being blown off ? " Alice inquired. 
 
 " Not yet," said the Knight. " But I've got a plan 
 for keeping it from falling off." 
 
 " I should like to hear it, very much." 
 
 " First you take an upright stick," said the Knight, 
 " Then you make your hair creep up it, like a fruit-tree. 
 Now the reason hair falls off is because it hangs down 
 
" IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 
 
 237 
 
 — things never fall upwards, you know. It's a plan of 
 
 my own invention. You may try it if you like." 
 
 It didn't sound a comfortable plan, Alice thought, and 
 for a few minutes she walked on in silence, puzzling 
 over the idea, and every now and then stopping to help 
 the poor Knight, who certainly was not a good rider. 
 
 Whenever the horse stopped (which it did very 
 often), he fell off in front; and whenever it went on 
 again (which it generally did rather suddenly), he fell 
 off behind. Otherwise he kept on pretty well, except 
 that he had a habit of now and then falling off sideways; 
 and as he generally did this on the side on which Alic6 
 was walking, she soon found that it was the best plan 
 not to walk quite close to the horse. 
 
238 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 " Pm afraid you've not had much practice in riding," 
 she ventured to say, as she was helping him up from his 
 fifth tumble. 
 
 The Knight looked very much surprised, and a little 
 offended at the remark. " "What makes vou sav that ? " 
 he asked, as he scrambled back into the saddle, keeping 
 hold of Alice's hair with one hand, to save himself from 
 falling over on the other side. 
 
 " Because people don't fall off quite so often, when 
 they've had much practice." 
 
 " I've had plenty of practice," the Knight said very 
 gravely : " plenty of practice ! " 
 
 Alice could think of nothing better to sav than " In- 
 deed ? " but she said it as heartily as she could. They 
 went on a little way in silence after this, the Knight 
 with his eyes shut, muttering to himself, and Alice 
 watching anxiously for the next tumble. 
 
 ■" The great art of riding," the Knight suddenly be- 
 gan in a loud voice, waving his right arm as he spoke, 
 
 " is to keep " Here the sentence ended as suddenly 
 
 as it had begun, as the Knight fell heavily on the top of 
 his head exactly in the path where Alice was walking. 
 She was quite frightened this time, and said in an anx- 
 ious tone, as she picked him up, " I hope no bones are 
 broken ? " 
 
 " Xone to speak of," the Knight said, as if he didn't 
 mind breaking two or three of them. " The great art 
 
 of riding, as I was saying, is to keep your balance 
 
 properly. Like this, you know " 
 
 He let go the bridle, and stretched out both his arms 
 to show Alice what he meant, and this time he fell 
 flat on his back, right under the horse's feet. 
 
 " Plenty of practice ! " he went on repeating, all the 
 time that Alice was getting him on his feet again. 
 " Plenty of practice ! " 
 
"IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 239 
 
 " It's too ridiculous ! " cried Alice, losing all her 
 patience this time. " You ought to have a wooden 
 horse on wheels, that you ought ! " 
 
 " Does that kind go smoothly? " the Knight asked in 
 a tone of great interest, clasping his arms round the 
 horse's neck as he spoke, just in time to save himself 
 from tumbling off again. 
 
 " Much more smoothly than a live horse," Alice said, 
 with a little scream of laughter, in spite of all she could 
 do to prevent it. 
 
 " I'll get one," the Knight said thoughtfully, to him- 
 self. " One or two several." 
 
 There was a short silence after this, and then the 
 Knight went on again. " I'm a great hand at invent- 
 ing things. Now, I dare say you noticed, the last time 
 you picked me up, that I was looking rather thought- 
 ful ? " 
 
 " You were a little grave," said Alice. 
 
 " Well, just then I was inventing a new way of get- 
 ting over a gate would you like to hear it ? " 
 
 " Very much, indeed," Alice said, politely. 
 
 " I'll tell you how I came to think of it," said the 
 Knight. " You see, I said to myself, ' The only diffi- 
 culty is with the feet: the head is high enough already.' 
 
 Now, first I put my head on the top of the gate then 
 
 the head's high enough then I stand on my head 
 
 then the feet are high enough, you see then I'm 
 
 over, you see." 
 
 " Yes, I suppose you'd be over when that was done," 
 Alice said, thoughtfully : " but don't you think it would 
 be rather hard % " 
 
 "I haven't tried it yet," the Knight said, gravely r 
 
 " so I can't tell for certain but I'm afraid it would 
 
 be a little hard." 
 
 He looked so vexed at the idea, that Alice changed; 
 
2-tO THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 the subject hastily. " What a curious helmet you've 
 got ! " she said, cheerfully. " Is that your invention 
 too ? " 
 
 The Knight looked down proudly at his helmet, which 
 hung from the saddle. " Yes," he said, " but I've in- 
 vented a better one than that like a sugar-loaf. 
 
 When I used to wear it, if I fell off my horse, it always 
 touched the ground directly. So I had a very little way 
 
 to fall, you see But there icas the danger of falling 
 
 into it, to be sure. That happened to me once and 
 
 the worst of it was, before I could get out again, the 
 other White Knight came and put it on. He thought it 
 was his own helmet." 
 
 The Knight looked so solemn about it that Alice did 
 not dare to laugh. " I'm afraid you must have hurt 
 him," she said, in a trembling voice, " being on the 
 top of his head." 
 
 " I had to kick him, of course," the Knight said, very 
 
 seriously. " And then he took the helmet off again 
 
 but it took hours and hours to get me out. I was as fast 
 as as lightning, you know." 
 
 " But that's a different kind of fastness," Alice ob- 
 jected. 
 
 The Knight shook his head. " It was all kinds of 
 fastness with me, I can assure you ! " he said. He 
 raised his hands in some excitement as he said this, 
 and instantly rolled out of the saddle, and fell headlong 
 into a deep ditch. 
 
 Alice ran to the side of the ditch to look for him. She 
 was rather startled by the fall, as for some time he had 
 kept on very well, and she was afraid that he really was 
 hurt this time. However, though she could see nothing 
 but the soles of his feet, she was much relieved to hear 
 that he was talking on in his usual tone. "All kinds of 
 fastness," he repeated: "but it was careless of him to 
 
"IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 
 
 241 
 
 put another man's helmet on with the man in it, 
 
 too." 
 
 " How can you go on talking so quietly, head down- 
 wards ? " Alice asked, as she dragged him out by the 
 feet, and laid him in a heap on the bank. 
 
 The Knight looked surprised at the question. " What 
 does it matter where my body happens to be ? " he said. 
 " My mind goes on working all the same. In fact, the 
 
 more head downwards I am, the more I keep inventing 
 new things. 
 
 : ' Now the cleverest thing of the sort that I ever 
 did," he went on after a pause, " was inventing a new 
 pudding during the meat course." 
 
 " In time to have it cooked for the next course ? " 
 said Alice. " Well, that was quick work, cer- 
 tainly ! " 
 
 " Well, not the next course," the Knight said, in a 
 slow, thoughtful tone : " no, certainly not the next 
 course." 
 16 
 
242 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 " Then it would have to be the next day. I suppose 
 you wouldn't have two pudding-courses in one din- 
 ner ? " 
 
 " Well, not the next day," the Knight repeated as be- 
 fore: "not the next day. In fact," he went on, hold- 
 ing his head down, and his voice getting lower and 
 lower, " I don't believe that pudding ever was cooked! 
 In fact, I don't believe that pudding ever will be cooked ! 
 And yet it was a very clever pudding to invent." 
 
 " What did you mean it to be made of ? " Alice asked, 
 hoping to cheer him up, for the poor Knight seemed 
 quite low-spirited about it. 
 
 " It began with blotting-paper," the Knight answered 
 with a groan. 
 
 " That wouldn't be very nice, I'm afraid " 
 
 " Not very nice alone," he interrupted, quite eagerly : 
 u but you've no idea what a difference it makes, mixing 
 it with other things such as gunpowder and sealing- 
 wax. And here I must leave you." They had just 
 come to the end of the wood. 
 
 Alice could only look puzzled : she was thinking of the 
 pudding. 
 
 *&• 
 
 a 
 
 You are sad," the Knight said in an anxious tone: 
 tl let me sing you a song to comfort you." 
 
 " Is it very long? " Alice asked, for she had heard a 
 good deal of poetry that day. 
 
 " It's long," said the Knight, " but it's very, very 
 
 beautiful. Everybody that hears me sing it either 
 
 it brings the tears into their eyes, or else — : — " 
 
 " Or else what ? " said Alice, for the Knight had 
 made a sudden pause. 
 
 " Or else it doesn't, you know. The name of the 
 song is called ' Haddock's Eyes.'' " 
 
 " Oh, that's the name of the song, is it ? " Alice said, 
 trying to feel interested. 
 
" IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 243 
 
 " No, you don't understand," the Knight said, look- 
 ing a little vexed. " That's what the name is called. 
 The name really is ' The Aged Aged Man. 7 " 
 
 " Then I ought to have said ' That's what the song 
 is called ' ? " Alice corrected herself. 
 
 " No, you oughtn't : that's quite another thing ? The 
 song is called ' Ways And Means ' : but that's only 
 what it's called, vou know ! " 
 
 " Well, what is the song, then ? " said Alice, who 
 was by this time completely bewildered. 
 
 " I was coming to that," the Knight said. " The 
 song really is ' A-sitting On A Gate ' : and the tune's 
 my own invention." 
 
 So saying, he stopped his horse and let the reins 
 fall on its neck: then, slowly beating time with one 
 hand, and with a faint smile lighting up his gentle 
 foolish face, as if he enjoyed the music of his song, he 
 began. 
 
 Of all the strange things that Alice saw in her jour- 
 ney Through The Looking-Glass, this was the one that 
 she always remembered most clearly. Years after- 
 ward she could bring the whole scene back again, as if 
 
 it had been only yesterday the mild blue eyes and 
 
 kindly smile of the Knight the setting sun gleam- 
 ing through his hair, and shining on his armor in a 
 
 blaze of light that quite dazzled her the horse 
 
 quietly moving about, with the reins hanging loose on 
 
 his neck, cropping the grass at her feet and the 
 
 black shadows of the forest behind all this she took 
 
 in like a picture, as, with one hand shading her eyes, 
 she leaned against a tree, watching the strange pair, 
 and listening, in a half dream, to the melancholy music 
 of the song. 
 
 " But the tune isn't his own invention," she said to 
 herself : " it's ' I give thee all, I can no more 7 " She 
 
944 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 stood and listened very attentively, but no tears eame 
 into her eves. 
 
 ' I'll tell thee every tiling I can 
 There's little to relate. 
 I saw an aged aged man, 
 A-sitting on a gate. 
 1 Who are you, aged man? ' I said. 
 'And how is it you live ? ' 
 And his answer trickled through my head 
 Like water through a sieve. 
 
 " He said ' I look for butterflies 
 That sleep among the wheat: 
 I make them into mutton pies 
 And sell them in the street. 
 I sell them unto men/ he said, 
 
 ' Who sail on stormy seas; 
 And that's the way I get my bread — 
 A trifle, if you please/ 
 
 " But I teas tli inking of a plan 
 
 To dye one's ivhiskers green, 
 And always use so large a fan 
 
 That they could not be seen. 
 So, having no reply to give 
 
 To what the old man said, 
 I cried ' Come, tell me how you live! 9 
 
 And thumped him on the head. 
 
 " His accents mild took up the tale: 
 He said ' I go my ways, 
 T And when I find a mountain-rill, 
 I set it in a blaze; 
 
" IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 
 
 And thence they make a stuff they call 
 
 Rowlands' Macassar Oil — 
 Yet twopence-halfpenny is all 
 
 They give me for my toil.' 
 
 " But I was thinking of a way 
 To feed oneself on hatter, 
 And so go on from day to day 
 
 Getting a little fatter. 
 I shook him well from side to side, 
 Until his face was blue: 
 i Come, tell me how you live,' I cried, 
 ' And what it is you do! ' 
 
 245 
 
 " He said ' I hunt for haddocks' eyes 
 
 Among the heather bright, 
 And work them into waistcoat-buttons 
 
 In the silent night. 
 And these I do not sell for gold 
 
 Or coin of silvery shine, 
 'But for a copper halfpenny, 
 
 And that will purchase nine. 
 
 
246 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 " ' I sometimes dig for buttered rolls, 
 Or set limed twigs for crabs; 
 I sometimes search the grassy knolls 
 
 For wheels of Hansom-cabs. 
 And that's the way ' (he gave a wink) 
 
 'By which I get my wealth — 
 And very gladly will I drink 
 Your Honor's noble health,' 
 
 " I heard him then, for I had just 
 
 Completed my design 
 To keep the Menai bridge from rust 
 
 By boiling it in wine. 
 I thanked him much for telling me 
 
 The. way he got his ivealth, 
 But chiefly for his wish that he 
 
 Might drink my noble health. 
 
 " And now, if e'er by chance I put 
 
 My fingers into glue, 
 Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot 
 
 Into a left-hand shoe, 
 Or if I drop upon my toe 
 
 A very heavy weight, 
 I weep, for it reminds me so 
 Of that old man I used to know — 
 Whose look was mild, ivhose speech was slow 
 Whose hair was whiter than the snow, 
 Whose face was very like a crow, 
 With eyes, like cinders, all aglow, 
 Who seemed distracted with his woe, 
 Who rocked his body to and fro, 
 And muttered mumblingly and low, 
 As if his mouth were full of dough, 
 
"IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 247 
 
 yVho snorted like a buffalo 
 
 That summer evening, long ago, 
 A-sitting on a gate." 
 
 As the Knight sang the last words of the ballad, he 
 gathered up the reins, and turned his horse's head along 
 the road by which they had come. " You've only a few 
 yards to go," he said, " down the hill and over that little 
 
 brook, and then you'll be a Queen But you'll stay 
 
 and see rne off first ? " he added as Alice turned with an 
 eager look in the direction to which he pointed. " I 
 shan't be long. You'll wait and wave your handker- 
 chief when I get to that turn in the road \ I think it'll 
 encourage me, you see." 
 
 " Of course I'll wait," said Alice : " and thank you 
 
 very much for coming so far and for the song 
 
 I liked it very much." 
 
 " I hope so," the Knight said doubtfully : " but you 
 didn't cry so much as I thought you would." 
 
 So they shook hands, and then the Knight rode slowly 
 away into the forest. " It won't take long to see him 
 off, I expect," Alice said to herself, as she stood watch- 
 ing him. " There he goes ! Eight on his head as usual ! 
 However, he gets on pretty easily that comes of hav- 
 ing so many things hung round the horse " So she 
 
 went on talking to herself, as she watched the horse walk- 
 ing leisurely along the road, and the Knight tumbling 
 off, first on one side and then on the other. After the 
 fourth or fifth tumble he reached the turn, and then she 
 waved her handkerchief to him, and waited till he was 
 out of sight. 
 
 " I hope it encouraged him," she said, as she turned 
 to run down the hill : " and now for the last brook, and 
 to be a Queen ! How grand it sounds ! " A very few 
 
24:8 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 steps brought her 
 to the edge of 
 the brook. " The 
 Eighth Square at 
 last ! ' she cried as 
 she bounded across, 
 and threw herself 
 down to rest on a 
 lawn as soft as moss, 
 with little flower 
 beds dotted about it 
 here and there. 
 
 "Oh, how glad I 
 am to get here ! 
 And what is this 
 on my head? ' she 
 exclaimed in a tone 
 of dismay, as she 
 put her hands up to something very heavy, that fitted 
 tight all round her head. 
 
 " But how can it have got there without my know- 
 ing it? " she said to herself, as she lifted it off, and 
 set it on her lap to make out what it could possibly 
 be. 
 
 It was a golden crown. 
 
CHAPTER IX. 
 
 QUEEN ALICE. 
 
 " Well, this is grand ! " said Alice. " I never ex- 
 pected I should be a Queen so soon and I'll tell you 
 
 what it is, your Majesty," she went on in a severe tone 
 (she was always rather fond of scolding herself,) " it'll 
 never do for you to be lolling about on the grass like 
 that ! Queens have to be dignified, you know ! " 
 
 So she got up and walked about rather stiffly just 
 
 at first, as she was afraid that the crown might come 
 off: but she comforted herself with the thought that 
 there was nobody to see her, " and if I really am a 
 Queen," she said as she sat down again, " I shall be 
 able to manage it quite well in time." 
 
 Everything was happening so oddly that she didn't 
 feel a bit surprised at finding the Red Queen and the 
 White Queen sitting close to her, one on each side : she 
 would have liked very much to ask them how they came 
 there, but she feared it would not be quite civil. How- 
 ever, there would be no harm, she thought, in asking if 
 
 the game was over. " Please, would you tell me " 
 
 she began, looking timidly at the Red Queen. 
 
 " Speak when you're spoken to ! " the Queen sharply 
 interrupted her. 
 
 " But if everybody obeyed that rule," said Alice, 
 who was always ready for a little argument, " and if 
 you only spoke when you were spoken to, and the other 
 person always waited for you to begin, you see nobody 
 would ever say anything, so that " 
 
 " Ridiculous ! " cried the Queen. " Why, don't you 
 
 249 
 
250 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 see, child " here she broke off with a frown, and, 
 
 after thinking for a minute, suddenly changed the sub- 
 ject of the conversation. " What do you mean by ' if 
 you really are a Queen ' ? What right have you to call 
 yourself so ? You can't be a Queen, you know, till 
 you've passed the proper examination. And the sooner 
 we begin it, the better." 
 
 " I only said ' if ' ! " poor Alice pleaded in a piteous 
 tone. 
 
 The two Queens looked at each other, and the Red 
 Queen remarked, with a little shudder, " She says she 
 only said < if ' " 
 
 " But she said a great deal more than that ! " the 
 White Queen moaned, wringing her hands. " Oh, ever 
 so much more than that ! " 
 
 " So you did, you know," the Red Queen said to 
 
 Alice. " Always speak the truth think before you 
 
 speak and write it down afterward." 
 
 " I'm sure I didn't mean " Alice was beginning, 
 
 but the Red Queen interrupted her impatiently. 
 
 " That's just what I complain of! You should have 
 meant ! What do you suppose is the use of a child with- 
 out any meaning? Even a joke should have some mean- 
 ing and a child's more important than a joke, I 
 
 hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with 
 both hands." 
 
 " I don't deny things with my hands,''' Alice objected. 
 
 " Nobody said you did," said the Red Queen. " I 
 said you couldn't if you tried." 
 
 " She's in that state of mind," said the White Queen, 
 
 " that she wants to deny something only she doesn't 
 
 know what to deny ! " 
 
 " A nasty, vicious temper," the Red Queen remarked ; 
 and then there was an uncomfortable silence for a 
 minute or two. 
 
QUEEN ALICE. 251 
 
 The Red Queen broke the silence by saying to the 
 White Queen, " I invite you to Alice's dinner-party this 
 afternoon." 
 
 The White Queen smiled feebly, and said, " And I 
 invite you." 
 
 " I didn't know I was to have a party at all," said 
 Alice ; " but if there is to be one, I think I ought to 
 invite the guests." 
 
 " We gave you the opportunity of doing it," the Red 
 Queen remarked : " but I dare say you've not had many 
 lessons in manners yet % " 
 
 " Manners are not taught in lessons," said Alice. 
 " Lessons teach you to do sums, and things of that sort." 
 
 " Can you do Addition ? " the White Queen asked. 
 " What's one and one and one and one and one and one 
 and one and one and one and one ? " 
 
 I don't know," said Alice. " I lost count." 
 She can't do Addition," the Red Queen interrupted. 
 a Can you do Subtraction ? Take nine from eight." 
 
 " Nine from eight I can't, you know," Alice replied, 
 very readily : " but " 
 
 " She can't do Subtraction," said the White Queen. 
 " Can you do Division ? Divide a loaf by a knife — : — 
 what's the answer to that ? " 
 
 " I suppose " Alice was beginning, but the Red 
 
 Queen answered for her. " Bread-and-butter, of course. 
 Try another Subtraction sum. Take a bone from a dog: 
 what remains ? " 
 
 Alice considered. " The bone wouldn't remain, of 
 
 course, if I took it and the dog wouldn't remain ; 
 
 it would come to bite me and I'm sure I shouldn't 
 
 remain ! " 
 
 " Then you think nothing would remain ? " said the 
 Red Queen. 
 
 " I think that's the answer." 
 
 a 
 
 iC 
 
252 
 
 THROUGH THE LCOKING-GLASS. 
 
 " Wrong, as usual," said the Red Queen, " the dog's 
 temper would remain." 
 
 " But I don't see how " 
 
 " Why, look here ! " the Red Queen cried. " The 
 dog would lose its temper, wouldn't it? " 
 
 " Perhaps it would," Alice replied, cautiously. 
 1 Then if the dog wont away, its temper would re- 
 main ! " the Queen exclaimed, triumphantly. 
 
 Alice said, as gravely as she could, " They might go 
 different ways." But she couldn't help thinking to her- 
 self, " What dreadful nonsense we are talking! ' : 
 
 "She can't do sums a bit!" the Queens said to- 
 gether, with great emphasis. 
 
 
 "Can you do sums?" Alice said, turning suddenly 
 on the White Queen, for she didn't like being found 
 fault with so much. 
 
 The Queen gasped and shut her eyes. " I can do 
 
 Addition," she said, " if you give me time but I 
 
 can't do Subtraction under any circumstances ! ' 
 
 " Of course you know your A B C ? " said the Red 
 Queen. 
 
 " To be sure I do," said Alice. 
 
QUEEN ALICE. 253 
 
 " So do I," the White Queen whispered : " we'll often 
 say it over together, dear. And I'll tell you a secret 
 1 can read words of one letter ! Isn't that grand ? 
 
 However, don't be discouraged. You'll come to it in 
 time." 
 
 Here the Red Queen began again. " Can you answer 
 useful questions ? " she said. " How is bread made ? '' 
 
 "I know that!" Alice cried, eagerly. "You take 
 some flour " 
 
 " Where do you pick the flower ? " the White Queen 
 asked. " In a garden, or in the hedges ? " 
 
 " Well, it isn't picked at all," Alice explained : " it's 
 ground- — -" 
 
 a 
 
 (C 
 
 How many acres of ground ? ' ; said the White 
 Queen. " You mustn't leave out so many things." 
 
 " Fan her head ! " the Red Queen anxiously inter- 
 rupted. " She'll be feverish after so much thinking." 
 So they set to work and fanned her with bunches of 
 leaves, till she had to beg them to leave off, it blew her 
 hair about so. 
 
 She's all right again now," said the Red Queen. 
 Do you know Languages ? What's the French for fid- 
 dle-de-dee ? " 
 
 " Fiddle-de-dee's not English," Alice replied gravely. 
 
 " Who ever said it was ? " said the Red Queen. 
 
 Alice thought she saw a way out of the difficulty this 
 time. " If you'll tell me what language ' fiddle-de-dee ' 
 is, I'll tell you the French for it ! " she exclaimed tri- 
 umphantly. 
 
 But the Red Queen drew herself up rather stiffly, 
 and said " Queens never make bargains." 
 
 " I wish Queens never asked questions," Alice thought 
 to herself. 
 
 " Don't let us quarrel," the White Queen said in an 
 anxious tone. " What is the cause of lightning ? " 
 
254 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 a 
 
 The cause of lightning," Alice said very decidedly, 
 for she felt quite certain about this, " is the thunder- 
 
 no, no ! " she hastily corrected herself. " I meant the 
 other way." 
 
 "It's too late to correct it," said the Red Queen: 
 " when you've once said a thing, that fixes it, and you 
 must take the consequences." 
 
 " Which reminds me " the White Queen said, 
 
 looking down and nervously clasping and unclasping 
 her hands, " we had such a thunderstorm last Tuesday 
 1 mean one of the last sets of Tuesdays, you know." 
 
 Alice was puzzled. " In our country," she remarked, 
 " there's only one day at a time." 
 
 The Red Queen said " That's a poor thin way of 
 doing things. JSTow here, we mostly have days and 
 nights two or three at a time, and sometimes in the win- 
 ter we take as many as five nights together for 
 
 warmth, you know." 
 
 "Are five nights warmer than one night, then % ' : 
 Alice ventured to ask. 
 
 " Five times as warm, of course." 
 
 " But they should be five times as cold, by the same 
 rule " 
 
 " Just so ! " cried the Red Queen. " Five times as 
 
 warm, and five times as cold just as I'm five times 
 
 as rich as you are, and five times as clever! ' 
 
 Alice sighed and gave it up. " It's exactly like a 
 riddle with no answer ! " she thought. 
 
 " Humpty Dumpty saw it too," the White Queen 
 went on in a low voice, more as if she were talking 
 to herself. " He came to the door with a corkscrew in 
 his hand " 
 
 " What did he want ? " said the Red Queen. 
 
 " He said he would come in," the White Queen went 
 on, " because he was looking for a hippopotamus. Now, 
 
QUEEN ALICE. 255 
 
 as it happened, there wasn't such a thing in the house, 
 that morning." 
 
 " Is there generally ? " Alice asked in an astonished 
 tone. 
 
 " Well, only on Thursdays," said the Queen. 
 
 " I know what he came for," said Alice, " he wanted 
 to punish the fish, because " 
 
 Here the White Queen began again. " It was such 
 a thunderstorm, you can't think! " (" She never could, 
 you know," said the Red Queen.) "And part of the 
 
 roof came off, and ever so much thunder got in and 
 
 it went rolling round the room in great lumps and 
 
 knocking over the tables and things till I was so 
 
 frightened, I couldn't remember my own name ! ' 
 
 Alice thought to herself, " I never should try to re- 
 member my name in the middle of an accident. Where 
 would be the use of it? " but she did not say this aloud, 
 for fear of hurting the poor Queen's feelings. 
 
 " Your Majesty must excuse her," the Red Queen 
 said to Alice, taking one of the White Queen's hands in 
 her own, and gently stroking it: " she means well, but 
 she can't help saying foolish things, as a general 
 rule." 
 
 The White Queen looked timidly at Alice, who felt 
 she ought to say something kind, but really couldn't 
 think of anything at the moment. 
 
 " She never was really well brought up," the Red 
 Queen went on : " but it's amazing how good-tempered 
 she is ! Pat her on the head, and see how pleased she'll 
 be ! ' : But this was more than Alice had courage to do. 
 
 " A little kindness and putting her hair in papers 
 
 would do wonders with her " 
 
 The White Queen gave a deep sigh, and laid her 
 head on Alice's shoulder. " I am so sleepy ! " she 
 moaned. 
 
256 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 u 
 
 She's tired, poor thing ! " said the Red Queen. 
 
 " Smooth her hair lend her your nightcap and 
 
 sing her a soothing lullaby." 
 
 " I haven't got a nightcap with me," said Alice, as 
 she tried to obey the first direction : " and I don't know 
 any soothing lullabies.'" 
 
 " I must do it myself, then," said the Red Queen, 
 and she began : 
 
 " Hvsh-a-by lady, in Alice's lap! 
 
 Till the feast's ready, we've time for a nap: 
 
 When the feast's over, we'll go to the ball — 
 
 Bed Queen, and White Queen, and Alice, and all! 
 
 " And now you know the words," she added as she 
 put her head down on Alice's other shoulder, " just 
 sing it through to me. I'm getting sleepy too." In 
 another moment both Queens were fast asleep, and snor- 
 ing loud. 
 
 " What am I to do ? " exclaimed Alice, looking about 
 in great perplexity, as first one round head, and then 
 the other, rolled down from her shoulder, and lay like 
 a heavy lump in her lap. " I don't think it ever hap- 
 pened before, that any one had to take care of two 
 Queens asleep at once ! No, not in all the History of 
 
QUEEN ALICE. 257 
 
 England it couldn't, you know, because there never 
 
 "was more than one Queen at a time. Do wake up, you 
 heavy things ! " she went on in an impatient tone ; but 
 there was no answer but a gentle snoring. 
 
 The snoring got more distinct every minute, and 
 sounded more like a tune : at last she could even make 
 out words, and she listened so eagerly that, when the 
 two great heads suddenly vanished from her lap, she 
 hardly missed them. 
 
 She was standing before an arched doorway over 
 which were the words QUEEN ALICE in large let- 
 ters, and on each side of the arch there was a bell- 
 handle ; one was marked " Visitors' Bell," and the 
 other " Servants' Bell." 
 
 " I'll wait till the song's over," thought Alice, " and 
 
 then I'll ring the the which bell must I ring? " 
 
 she went on, very much puzzled by the names. " I'm 
 not a visitor, and I'm not a servant. There ought to be 
 one marked ' Queen,' you know " 
 
 Just then the door opened a little way, and a creature 
 with a long beak put its head Out for a moment and 
 said " No admittance till the week after next ! " and 
 shut the door again with a bang. 
 
 Alice knocked and rang in vain for a long time, but 
 at last a very old Frog, who was sitting under a tree, 
 got up and hobbled slowly toward her: he was dressed 
 in bright yellow, and had enormous boots on. 
 
 " What is it, now ? " the Frog said in a deep, hoarse 
 whisper. 
 
 Alice turned round, ready to find fault with anybody. 
 " Where's the servant whose business it is to answer 
 the door ? " she began angrily. 
 
 " Which door ? " said the Frog. 
 
 Alice almost stamped with irritation at the slow 
 drawl in which he spoke. " This door, of course! " 
 17 < 
 
25$ 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 The Frog looked at the door with his large dull 
 eyes for a minute : then he went nearer and rubbed it 
 with his thumb, as if he were trying whether the 
 paint would come off ; then he looked at Alice. 
 
 " To answer the door ? " he said. " What's it been 
 asking of ? " He was so hoarse that Alice could scarce- 
 ly hear him. 
 
 u I don't know what you mean," she said. 
 
 " I speaks English, doesn't I ? " the Frog went on. 
 <l Or are you deaf ? What did it ask you ? " 
 
 " Nothing ! ' Alice said impatiently. " I've been 
 knocking at it ! " 
 
QUEEN ALICE. 259 
 
 " Shouldn't do that shouldn't do that " the 
 
 Frog muttered. " Wexes it, you know." Then he 
 went up and gave the door a kick with one of his 
 great feet. " You let it alone," he panted out, as he 
 hobbled back to his tree, " and it'll let you alone, you 
 know." 
 
 At this moment the door was flung open, and a shrill 
 voice was heard singing: 
 
 " To the Looking-Glass world it was Alice that said, 
 ' I've a sceptre in hand, I've a crown on my head; 
 Let the Looking-Glass creatures, whatever they be > 
 Come and dine with the Bed Queen, the White 
 Queen, and me ! ' " 
 
 And hundreds of voices joined in the chorus: 
 
 " Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can, 
 And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran: 
 Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea — 
 And welcome Queen Alice with thirty-times-three ! ' w 
 
 Then followed a confused noise of cheering, and 
 Alice thought to herself " Thirty times three makes 
 ninety. I wonder if any one's counting ? " in a minute 
 there was silence again, and the same shrill voice sang 
 another verse : 
 
 a i 
 
 Looking-Glass creatures,' quoth Alice, ' draw 
 near! 
 'Tis an honor to see me, a favor to hear: 
 'Tis a privilege high to have dinner and tea 
 Along with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and 
 me!'" 
 
260 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 Then came the chorus again : — 
 
 " Then fill up the glasses with treacle and ink 
 Or anything else that is pleasant to drink; 
 Mix sand with the cider, and wool with the wine — ■ 
 And welcome Queen Alice with ninety-times-nine ! " 
 
 a 
 
 " Ninety times nine!" Alice repeated in despair. 
 
 Oh that'll never be done! I'd better go in at 
 
 once " and in she went, and there was a dead silence 
 
 the moment she appeared. 
 
 Alice glanced nervously along the table, as she walked 
 up the large hall, and noticed that there were about fifty 
 guests, of all kinds : some were animals, some birds, 
 and there were even a few flowers among them. 
 " I'm glad they've come without waiting to be asked," 
 she thought : " I should never have known who were 
 the right people to invite! " 
 
 There were three chairs at the head of the table ; 
 the Tied and White Queens had already taken two of 
 them, but the middle one was empty. Alice sat down 
 in it, rather uncomfortable at the silence, and longing 
 for some one to speak. 
 
 At last the Red Queen began. " You've missed the 
 soup and fish," she said. " Put on the joint! ' And 
 the waiters set a leg of mutton before Alice, who looked 
 at it rather anxiously, as she had never had to carve 
 a joint before. 
 
 " You look a little shy ; let me introduce you to that 
 leg of mutton," said the Red Queen. " Alice Mut- 
 ton ; Mutton Alice." The leg of mutton got up 
 
 in the dish and made a little bow to Alice; and Alice 
 returned the bow, not knowing whether to be frightened 
 or amused. 
 
 " May I give you a slice ? " she said, taking up the 
 
QUEEN ALICE. 
 
 261 
 
 knife and fork, and 
 looking from one 
 Queen to the other. 
 
 ' ' Certainly not, ' ' 
 the Red Queen said, 
 very decidedly: " it 
 isn't etiquette to cut 
 any one you've been 
 introduced to. Re- 
 move the joint ! ' ' 
 And the waiters 
 carried it off, and 
 brought a large 
 plum -pudding in its 
 place. 
 
 "I won't be introduced to the pudding, please," 
 Alice said rather hastily, " or we shall get no dinner 
 at all. May I give you some? " 
 
 But the Red Queen looked sulky, and growled " Pud- 
 ding Alice ; Alice- — • — Pudding. Remove the pud- 
 ding ! " and the waiters took it away so quickly that 
 Alice couldn't return its bow. 
 
 However, she didn't see why the Red Queen should 
 be the only one to give orders, so, as an experiment, she 
 called out " Waiter ! Bring back the pudding ! " and 
 there it was again in a moment, like a conjuring-trick. 
 It was so large that she couldn't help feeling a little 
 shy with it, as she had been with the mutton ; however, 
 she conquered her shyness by a great effort, and cut a 
 slice and handed it to the Red Queen. 
 
 " What impertinence ! " said the Pudding. " I won- 
 der how vou'd like it, if I were to cut a slice out of 
 you, you creature ! " 
 
262 THROUGH TEE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 It spoke in a thick, suety sort of voice, and Alice 
 hadn't a word to say in reply: she could only sit and 
 look at it and gasp. 
 
 " Make a remark," said the Red Queen : " it's ridic- 
 ulous to leave all the conversation to the pudding! " 
 
 " Do you know, I've had such a quantity of poetry 
 repented to me to-day," Alice began, a little frightened 
 at finding that, the moment she opened her lips, there 
 was dead silence, and all eyes were fixed upon her; 
 
 " and it's a very curious thing, I think every poem 
 
 was tbout fishes in some way. Do you know why 
 they're so fond of fishes, all about here ? " 
 
 She spoke to the Red Queen, whose answer was a 
 little wide of the mark. " As to fishes," she said, very 
 slowly and solemnly, putting her mouth close to Alice's 
 
 ear, " her White Majesty knows a lovely riddle all 
 
 in poetry all about fishes. Shall she repeat it ? ' : 
 
 " Her Red Majesty's very kind to mention it," the 
 White Queen murmured into Alice's other ear, in a 
 voice like the cooing of a pigeon. " It would be such 
 a treat! May I?" 
 
 " Please do," Alice said very politely. 
 
 The White Queen laughed with delight, and stroked 
 Alice's cheek. Then she began : 
 
 " ' First, the fish must be caught. 
 That is easy: a baby, I think, could have caught H, 
 
 ' Next, the fish must be bought.' 
 That is easy: a penny, I think, would have bought it. 
 
 " l Now cook me the fish ! ' 
 That is easy, and will not take more than a minute. 
 
 ' Let it lie in a dish! ' 
 That is easy, because it already is in it. 
 
QUEEN ALICE. 263 
 
 " ' Bring it here ! Let me sup ! ' 
 It is easy to set such a dish on the table. 
 
 ' Take the dish-cover up ! ' 
 Ah, that is so hard that I fear Fm unable. 
 
 " For it holds it like glue 
 
 Holds the lid to the dish, while it lies in the middle: 
 
 Which is easiest to do, 
 Undish-cover the fish, or dishcover the riddle ? " 
 
 " Take a minute to think about it, and then guess/' 
 said the Red Queen. " Meanwhile, we'll drink your 
 
 health Qneen Alice's health ! " she screamed at the 
 
 top of her voice, and all guests began drinking it 
 directly, and very queerly they managed it : some of 
 them put their glasses upon their heads like extin- 
 guishers, and drank all that trickled down their faces 
 
 others upset the decanters, and drank the wine as 
 
 it ran off the edges of the table and three of them 
 
 (who looked like kangaroos) scrambled into the dish 
 of roast mutton, and began eagerly lapping up the 
 gravy, " just like pigs in a trough ! " thought Alice. 
 
 " You ought to return thanks in a neat speech," the 
 Red Queen said, frowning at Alice as she spoke. 
 
 " We must support you, you know," the White Queen 
 whispered, as Alice got up to do it, very obediently, but 
 a little frightened. 
 
 " Thank you very much," she whispered in reply, 
 " but I can do quite well without." 
 
 " That wouldn't be at all the thing," the Red Queen 
 said very decidedly : so Alice tried to submit to it with a 
 good grace. 
 
 (" And they did push so ! " she said afterward, when 
 she was telling her sister the history of the feast. " You 
 
204 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 would have thought they wanted to squeeze me 
 
 flat!") 
 
 In fact it was rather difficult for her to keep in her 
 place while she made her speech : the two Queens pushed 
 her so, one on each side, that they nearly lifted her up 
 into the air: "I rise to return thanks " Alice be- 
 gan: and she really did rise as she spoke, several inches; 
 but she got hold of the edge of the table, and managed 
 to pull herself down again. 
 
 " Take care of yourself ! " screamed the White Queen, 
 seizing Alice's hair with both her hands. " Something's 
 going to happen ! " 
 
 And then (as Alice afterward described it) all sorts 
 of thing? happened in a moment. The candles all grew 
 up to the ceiling, looking something like a bed of rushes 
 with fireworks at the top. As to the bottles, they each 
 took a pair of plates, which they hastily fitted on as 
 wings, and so, with forks for less, went fluttering about 
 in all directions: " and very like birds they look," Alice 
 thought to herself, as well as she could in the dreadful 
 confusion that was beginning. 
 
 At this moment she heard a hoarse laugh at her 
 side, and turned to see what was the matter with the 
 "White Queen ; but. instead of the Queen, there was the 
 leg of mutton sitting in the chair. " Here I am ! ' 
 cried a voice from the soup-tureen, and Alice turned 
 again, just in time to see the Queen's broad good- 
 natured face grinning at her for a moment over the 
 edge of the tureen, before she disappeared into the 
 soup. 
 
 There was not a moment to be lost. Already sev- 
 eral of the guests were lying down in the dishes, and the 
 soup-ladle was walking up the table toward Alice's 
 chair, and beckoning to her impatiently to get out of its 
 way. 
 
QUEEN ALICE. 
 
 265 
 
 "I can't stand this 
 any longer ! ' ' she cried 
 as she jumped up and 
 seized the tablecloth 
 with both hands : one 
 good pull, and plates 
 dishes, guests, and 
 candles came crashing 
 down together in a 
 heap on the floor. 
 
 " And as for you" she went on, turning fiercely upon 
 the Red Queen, whom she considered as the, cause of 
 
 all the mischief but the Queen was no longer at her 
 
 side — she had suddenly dwindled down to the size of a 
 little doll, and was now on the table, merrily running 
 round and round after her own shawl, which was 
 trailing behind her. 
 
266 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKINU-GLASS. 
 
 At any other time, Alice would have felt surprised 
 at this, but she was far too much excited to be sur- 
 prised at anything now. " As for you," she repeated, 
 catching hold of the little creature in the very act of 
 jumping over a bottle which had just lighted upon thft 
 table, " I'll shake you into a kitten, that I will ! " 
 
267 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 SHAKING. 
 
 She took her off the table as she spoke, and shook 
 her backwards and forwards with all her might. 
 
 The Red Queen made no resistance whatever; only 
 her face grew very small, and her eyes got large and 
 green : and still, as Alice went on shaking her, she 
 
 kept on growing shorter and fatter and softer 
 
 and rounder and 
 
 268 
 
CHAPTEE XI. 
 
 WAKING. 
 
 -and it really was a kitten, after all. 
 
 269 
 
270 
 
CHAPTER XII. 
 
 WHICH DREAMED IT ? 
 
 " Your Red Majesty shouldn't purr so loud," Alice 
 said, rubbing her eyes, and addressing the kitten, re- 
 spectfully, yet with some severity. " You woke me 
 out of oh ! such a nice dream ! And you've been along 
 
 with me, Kitty all through the Looking-Glass 
 
 world. Did you know it, clear ? " 
 
 It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens (Alice had 
 once made the remark) that, whatever you say to them, 
 they always purr. " If they would only purr for ' yes,' 
 and mew for ' no,' or any rule of that sort," she had 
 said, " so that one could keep up a conversation ! But 
 how can you talk with a person if they always say the 
 same thing ? " 
 
 On this occasion the kitten only purred : and it was 
 impossible to guess whether it meant " yes " or " no." 
 
 So Alice hunted anions; the chessmen on the table till 
 she had found the Red Queen : then she went down on 
 her knees on the hearth-rug, and put the kitten and the 
 Queen to look at each other. " Now, Kitty ! " she- 
 cried, clapping her hands triumphantly. " Confess that 
 was what you turned into ! " 
 
 (" But it wouldn't look at it," she said, when she 
 was explaining the thing afterward to her sister : " it 
 turned away its head, and pretended not to see it: but 
 it looked a little ashamed of itself, so I think it must 
 have been the Red Queen.") 
 
 " Sit up a little more stiffly, dear ! " Alice cried with 
 a merry laugh. " And courtesy while you're thinking 
 
 271 
 
272 
 
 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 
 
 what to what to purr. It saves time, remember! " 
 
 And she caught it up and gave it one little kiss, " just 
 in honor of its having been a Red Queen." 
 
 " Snowdrop, my pet ! ,: she went on, looking over 
 her shoulder at the White Kitten, which was still pa- 
 tiently undergoing its toilet, " when will Dinah have 
 finished with your White Majesty, I wonder ? That 
 must be the reason you were so untidy in my dream. 
 
 Dinah ! Do you know that you're scrubbing a 
 
 White Queen ? Really, it's most disrespectful of you ! 
 " And what did Dinah turn to, I wonder ? " she prat- 
 tled on, as she settled comfortably down, w 7 ith one 
 elbow on the rug, and her chin in her hand, to watch 
 the kittens. " Tell me, Dinah, did you turn to Humpty 
 
 Dumpty ? I think you did however, you'd better 
 
 not mention it to your friends just yet, for I'm not sure. 
 
WHICH DREAMED IT? 273 
 
 " By the way, Kitty, if you'd been really with me 
 in my dream, there was one thing you would have 
 
 enjoyed 1 had such a quantity of poetry said to me, 
 
 all about fishes ! To-morrow morning you shall have 
 a real treat. All the time you're eating your breakfast, 
 I'll repeat ' The Walrus and the Carpenter ' to you ; 
 and then you can make believe it's oysters, dear ! 
 
 " Now, Kitty, let's consider who it was that dreamed 
 it all. This is a serious question, my dear, and you 
 
 should not go on licking your paw like that as if 
 
 Dinah hadn't washed you this morning ! You see, 
 Kitty, it must have been either me or the Red King. 
 
 He was part of my dream, of course but then I was 
 
 part of his dream, too ! Was it the Red King, Kitty ? 
 
 You were his wife, my dear, so you ought to know 
 
 Oh, Kitty, do help to settle it ! I'm sure your paw 
 can wait ! " But the provoking kitten only began on 
 the other paw, and pretended it hadn't heard the ques- 
 tion. 
 
 Which do you think it was % 
 
A boat, beneath a sunny sky 
 Lingering onward dreamily 
 In the evening of July 
 
 Children three that nestle near, 
 Eager eye and willing ear, 
 Pleased a simple tale to hear 
 
 Long has paled that sunny sky: 
 Echoes fade and memories die : 
 Autumn frosts have slain July. 
 
 Still she haunts me, phantom vise, 
 Alice moving under skies 
 Never seen by waking eves. 
 
 Children yet, the tale to hear, 
 Eager eve and willing ear, 
 Lovingly shall nestle near. 
 
 In a Wonderland they lie, 
 Dreaming as the davs 20 bv, 
 Dreaming as the summers die: 
 
 Ever drifting down the stream 
 
 Lingering in the golden gleam 
 
 Life, what is it but a dream ? 
 
 THE EXD. 
 
 274 
 
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