UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA BOOK CARD Please keep this card in book pocket rx rx THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA ENDOWED BY THE DIALECTIC AND PHILANTHROPIC SOCIETIES PR2380 .A2 1876 00043989292 This book is due at the LOUIS R. WILSON LIBRARY on the last date stamped under "Date Due." If not on hold it may be renewed by bringing it to the library. DATE DUE DATE DUE my • form No. Sn Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2014 https://archive.org/details/worksofjohntayloOOtayl JOHN TAYLOR'S OBSERVATIONS AND TRAVEL FROM London to Hamburgh. OHN TAYLOR, or, as he was wont to style himself, John Taylor, the Water-Poet, alias the King's Majesties Water-Poet and Queen's Waterman, was born at Gloucester on the 24th of August, 1580 ; but few particulars in connection with his parentage, educa- tion or inner life have reached us beyond those that are to be gleaned from his numerous and very miscellaneous M'orks, extending from 161 2 to 1653, which show him to have been — " A man so various that he seem'd to be Not one, but all mankind's epitome," as he was a sailor, a waterman, a poet, a composer — on the shortest possible notice, and on the most reasonable terms — of nipping satires, epigrams, anagrams, odes, elegies and sonnets ; a custom-house officer, an adventurer by sea and land, a licensed victualler, writer and publisher of short pieces in prose and verse for upwards of forty years, a peripatetic bookseller, a tuft-hunter, a very great schemer, and a firm Royalist with a lame leg ! Such was the man John Taylor, as viewed through the medium of his printed works, of which " many (says Wood*) were of that faculty that made great sport in their timei and most of them esteemed worthy to be remitted into a large folio. Had he had learning bestowed on him according to his natural parts, which were excellent, he might have equalled, if not excelled, many who claim a great share in the temple of the muses." John Taylor, the Water-Poet, died in the harness of a peripatetic book writer and publisher and a victualler, at his house, the Poet's Head, in Phoenix Alley, Long Acre, in the parish of St. Martin's-in-the-fields, "Westminster, 1653, and was buried in the parish churchyard December 5th. His widow, it appears from the rate books, continued in the house, under the name of "Widow Taylor," five years after his death. In 1658 ' Wid[ow] Taylor" is scjred out, and "Mons. Lero" written at the side The rate they paid was 2s. 6d. a year. * Wood's Athenoe Ooaonienses, vol. Hi, WORKS OP JOHN TAYLOE, TEE WATER POET, f0^z'S>'^^ My debters like 7 eeles with slip'rie tailes. One sort I each, 6 slips away and failes. Edited by CHARLES HINDLEY, ESQ. Editor of ^^The Old Book Collector's Miscellany ; or a Collection of Readable Reprints of Literary Rarities" " The Roxhurghe Ballads" " The Catnach Press" " The Curiosities of Street Literature" " The Book of Ready Made Speeches" ** A Ramble on the Coast of Sussex" " Tavern Anecdotes and Sayings^'* Life and Adventures of a Cheap Jack^ etc. LONDON : HEEVES AISTD TXJUlSrEI?,, 196, STRAND, W.C. 1870. # ARRANGEMENT AND CONTENTS. 1. — Taylor's Travels, Three Weeks from London to Hamburgh, 2. — The Penniless Pilgrimage. 3. — A Kicksey Winsey, or Lerry Come-Twang. 4. — Taylor's Farewell to the Tower Bottles. 5. — The Unnatural Father. 6. — Sir Gregory Nonsense. 7. — A Very Merry Wherry Ferry Voyage, or York for my Money. 8. — A New Discovery with a Wherry from London to Salisbury. 9. — An Armada, or Navy of Land Ships. 10. — Jack a Lent. 11. — The True Cause of the Waterman's Suit. 12. — The Great Eater of Kent. 13. — The Old, Old, Very Old Man. 14. — Part of This Summers Travels. 15. — Life and Recantation of Henry Walker. 16. — Mad Fashions, Odd Fashions, &c. 17. — The King's Majesties Welcome. 18. — John Taylor's Wandering to see the Wonders of the West. 19. — A Short Relation of a Long Journey. 20. — The Certain Travels of an Uncertain Journey. € Three YYeekes, three daies, and three houres OBSERVATIONS AND TRAVEL, FROM London to Hambvrgh in Germanie: Amongst yews and Gentiles, with Descriptions of Townes and Towers, Castles and Cittadels, artificiall Gal- lowfes, Naturall Hangmen: And Dedicated for the present^ to the absent Odcom- bian Knight Errant, St. Thomas Coriat. Great Brittaines Error, and the worlds Mirror. By lohn Taylor. LONDON Printed by Edward Griffin, and are to be sold by George Gybbs at the sign of the Flower-deluce in Pauls Churchyard, 1617. t To the Cosmographical, Geographical describer, Geometrical measurer; Historiographical Caligra- phical Relater and Writer; Enigmatical, Prag- matical, Dogmatical Observer, Engrosser, Sur- veyor and Eloquent British Grecian Latinist, or Latin Grecian Orator, the Odcombian Deambulator, Perambulator, Ambler, Trotter, or untired Traveller, Sir Tho. Coryat, Knight of Troy, and one of the dearest darlings to the blind Goddess Fortune. OST worthy Sir, as Quintilian in his Apothegms to the naked, learned, Gimnosophists of Ethiopia, very wittily says, Potanto Machayo corbatio monomosco kayturemo7i Lescus, Ollipufftingere whingo : which is, knowledge is a main Antithesis to ignorance, and pains and travel is the high-way to experience. I being therefore well acquainted with the generous ur- banity innated or rooted in your humanity, (in these days of vanity,) I dedicate out (of my affability, debility, ability, imbecility, facility, or agility,) this poor pamphlet to your nobility, in all servility and humility : not doubting but the fluent secundity of your wisdoms profundity, in your heads rotundity, will conserve, reserve, preserve, and observe, what I and my industrious labours deserve. I do (out of mine own cognition) aver and abet, that he is sense- less that will assent, that the Fates did assign, with their whole assistance, that any should aspire to be an associate in any assembly, boldly to assimulate, assay, assault, or ascribe to any mortal but yourself, superlative majority or transcendency for travels, observations, and oratory. These things being ii The Epistle Dedicatory. revolved and ruminated, in the sagacity or acuteness of my Pericranium, I imagined that no man under the Cope was more worthy than yourself to be a Patronizing Poplar to shelter my poor reed-like endeavours. Howsoever in the preterlapsed oc- currences there hath been an Antagonistical re- pugnancy betwixt us, yet I hope time and travel hath worn it thread-bare, or brought it to an irrecoverable consumption ; withal I know you are incapable of inexpungable malice, inveterate malignancy or emulation. I protest tongue-tied taciturnity should have imprisoned this work in the Lethargical Dungeon, or bottomless Abyss of ever- sleeping oblivion, but that I am confident of your Patronage and acceptance, which if it fall out (not according to any Promerits of mine) but out of mine own expectation of your matchless and unparalleled disposition, I shall hereafter sacrifice whole Hecatombs of invention both in Prose and Verse, at the shrine of your unfellowed and unfollowed virtues. So wishing more to see you than to hear from you, because Writers want work, and the Press is turned voluntary through the scarcity of employments, which I hope your presence will supply, I pray that Neptune, y^olics, TelliLs, Bacchus, and all the watery, windy, earthly, and drinking Deities may be officious, auspicious, and delicious unto you, humbly imploring you to take in good part this my sophistical, paradoxical, submission, with a mental reservation of my love and service, to sympathize or be equivalent to your kind liking and cor- roborated affecting. He that hath a poor muse to trot in your service with all obsequious observance. John Taylor. Three Weeks, three Days, and three Hours Obser- vations, from London to Hamburgh in Germa^iy. Amongst Jews and Gentiles, with Descriptions of Towns and Towers, Castles and Citadels, artifi- cial Gallowses, Natural Hangmen: And Dedicated for the present, to the absent Odcombian Knight Errant, Sir Thomas Coryat. Great Britains Error, and the worlds Mirror, r/^MW ^^^^^^"^(^y the 17 of August, 1616 (after I had taken leave of some friends that would hardly give me leave to leave .-A^^ them) I was associated with five or six courteous comrades to the haven of Billings- gate, where I was no sooner come, but I was shipped in the wherry for the port of Gravesend, and having two women and three men in my company thither, we past the way away by telling tales by turns. Where one of the women took upon her very logically to defend the honesty of brokers, and she maintained her paradoxical arguments so pithily, as if herself like a desperate pawn had lain seven years in lavender on sweeting in Long Lane, or amongst the dogged inhabitants of Houndsditch. And one of the men replied that he thanked God he never had any need of them, whereupon I began to suspect him to be a crafty knave, because the proverb says, A crafty knave needs no broker and indeed after I had inquired what countryman he 2 Taylor's Travels. was, he told me he was a Welsh man, and a Justices clerk. I left him as I found him, hoping never to be troubled with his binding over, and withdrawing: and so landing at Gravesend, we all went to the Christopher where we took a Bacchanalian farewell one of another, where I remained till the Monday following, awaiting the coming down of the ship that I was to be transported in. About the hour of three in the afternoon, with good hope we weighed anchor, and with a courteous tide and gentle wind we sailed down the river of Thames, as far as the grand oyster haven of Queenborough, where though our ship was not sea-sick, yet she cast, (anchor I mean). On the morrow, being Tuesday, we weighed, and with the friendly breath of Zephyrus, alias a western wind, our sails being swollen, our ship called the Judith, who with her stern cut the liquid mounting mountains of Neptunes wavering territories, as nimbly as Hebrew Jiidith beheaded Holof ernes, so that by the bountiful favour of Him that rules both winds and seas, the Thursday following we espied the coast of Friesland, and the next day we sailed by an island called the Holy Land, which may be called the Land of Lobsters, or the country of crabs, for the plenty of those kind of crawling creatures that are taken there. But we, taking time by the fore-top, let no advantage slip, but with a Taylor's Travels. merry gale, and a friendly flood, on the Friday we sailed up the river of Elve, as far as Stoad, where we anchored till the morrow, being Saturday, and the feast of S^. Bartholomew the Apostle, we arrived at a bleak, alias a town an English mile from Ham- burgh, called Altonagh, which is so called by the Hamburghers because it stands all-too-nigh them for their profit, being inhabited with divers tradesmen which do hinder their freedom. I was no sooner landed there, but my company and myself went to a Dutch drinking-school, and having upse-freez'd four pots of boon beer as yellow as gold, our host said we had four shilling to betail, or to pay, which made me suspect it to be a bawdy house by his large reckoning, till at last I understood that the shillings he meant were but stivers, or three-halfpence a piece. So this terrible shot being discharged (which in the total amounted to the sum of sixpence English) we de- parted towards Hambttrgh, where by the way I noted some 20 men, women, and children in divers places oi Altonagh, all deformed, some with one eye, some with hare-lips, crooked-backed, splay-footed, half-nosed, or one blemish or other. I admiring at them, was told they were Jews, wherein I perceived the Judgment of the High Judge of all, that had per- mitted Nature to deform their forms, whose Grace- less minds were so much misshapen through want of Grace, 4 Taylor's Travels. But I being entered the city of Hamburgh on the Saturday, I was presently conducted to the EngHsh house, where I found a kind host, an honest hostess, good company, store of meat, more of drinks, a true tapster, and sweet lodging. And being at dinner, because I was a stranger, I was promoted to the chiefest place at the table, where to observe an old custom, every man did his best endeavour to hance me for my welcome, which by interpretation is, to give a man a loaf too much out of the brewers basket, in which kind of potshot, our English are grown such stout proficients, that some of them dares bandy and contend with the Dutch their first teachers. But after they had hanced me as well as they could, and I pleased, they administered an oath to me, in manner and form as followeth ; Laying my haiid on a full pot, I swear by these contents and all that is herein contained, that by the courteous favour of these gentlemen, I do find myself sufficiently hanced, and that henceforth I shall acknowledge it ; and that whensoever I shall offer to be hanced again, I shall arm my self with the craft of a fox, the manners of a hog, the wisdom of an ass, mixed with the civility of a bear. This was the form of the oath, which as near as I can shall be performed on my part ; and here is to be noted that the first word a nurse or a mother doth teach her children if they be Taylor's Travels. 5 males, is drink, or beer : So that most of them are transformed to barrels, firkins, and kilderkins, always freight with Hamburgh beer. And though the city is not much more than half the bigness as London is within the walls, yet are there in it almost 800 brewhouses, and in one day there hath been shipped away from thence, 337. brewings of beer, besides 13. or 14. brewings have been racked or stayed in the town, as not sufficient to be bezzled in the country. The Saturday being thus past, and Sunday come, I went toward the English Church, where I observed many shops open, buying and selling, chopping and changing of all manner of wares, with the streets furnished with apples, pears, plums, nuts, grapes, or any thing else that an ordinary market can afford, as commonly as if the Sabbath were but a bare Ceremony without a Commandment. In which I note the Jews in their execrable superstition, to be more devout and observant, than these pedlars in their profession ; for on the Saturday (being the Jews Sabbath) they neglect all human affairs, and betake themselves irreligiously to their misbelieving faithless religion. The sermon being ended at the English Church, I walked in the afternoon with a friend of mine, (an inhabitant of the town) to see and to be seen, where at one of the gates was placed a strong guard of 6 Taylor's Travels. soldiers with muskets, pikes, halberts, and other warlike accoutrements, I asked the cause, and I was informed it was because of the building of new mounts and bulwarks which were partly erected without the old wall : And when I perceived these fortifications, I was amazed, for it is almost incredible for the number of men and horses that are daily set on work about it, besides the work itself is so great that it is past the credit of report, and as I suppose will prove most inexpugnable and invincible rampiers to strengthen the town on that side against the invasive attempts of the greatest Monarch that should assail them. But after much musing, walking further towards the fields, I espied four or five pretty parcels of modesty go very friendly up into a Council-house by the ways side, as we and thousands of people used to pass ; they were handsome young girls of the age of 1 8 or 20 years apiece, and although they had a door to shut, yet they knowing their business to be neces- sary and natural, sat still in loving and neighbourly manner, so having traced a turn or two we returned into the town again, and entering a long garden within the walls, some of the townsmen were shoot- ing for wagers at a mark with their muskets, some bowling : some at slide-thrift, or shovel-board : some dancing before a blind fiddler, and his cow bellied, dropsy, dirty drab : some at one game, some at Taylor's Travels. 7 another, most of them drinking, and all of them drunk, that though it was a Sabbath, which should wholly be dedicated to God, yet by the abuse of these bursten-gutted bibbers, they made it an after- noon consecrated, or more truly execrated to the service of Hell, and to the great amplification of the Devils kingdom. When Christians dare Gods Sabbath to abuse, They make themselves a scorn to Turks and Jews : You stealing Barabasses beastly race, Rob God of Glory, and yourselves of Grace. Think on the supreme Judge who all things tries, When Jews against you shall in Judgment rise. Their feigned truth, with fervent Zeal they show. The truth unfeigned you know, yet will not know. Then at the Bar in New Jerusalem, It shall be harder much for yoic than them. But leaving to their drunken designs, I returned toward my lodging, where by the way I saw at the common jail of the town, a great number of people were clustered together, I asked the cause of their concourse, and I was certified that there was a prisoner to be broken upon the wheel the next day, and that these idle gazers did press to gape upon him for want of better employments, I being as inquisitive after novelties, as a traveller of my small 8 Taylor's Travels. experience might be, enquired earnestly the true cause of the next days execution : my friend told me that the prisoner was a poor carpenter dwelling in the town, who lately having stolen a goose, and plucking it within his doors, a little girl (his daughter in law) went out of his house, and left the door open, by which means, the owner of the goose passing by, espied the wretched thief very diligently picking what he before had been stealing, to whom the owner said : Neighbour, I now perceive which way my geese use to go, but I will have you in question for them, and so away he went : the caitiff being thus reproved grew desperate, and his child coming into his house ; ye young whore, quoth he, must ye leave my door open for folks to look in upon me ? and with that word, he took a hatchet and with a cursed stroke, he clove the child's head : for the which murder he was condemned and judged to be broken alive upon the wheel. Close by the jail I espied a house of free stone, round and flat roofed, and leaded, upon the which was erected the true picture of a most unmatchable Hangman : and now I am entered into a discourse of this brave abject, or subject, you must understand that this fellow, is a merry, a mad, and a subsidy Hangman, to whom our Tyburn tatterdemalion, or our Wapping wind-pipe stretcher, is but a raggamufifin, not worth the hanging : for this tear-throat termagant is a fellow Taylor's Travels. 9 in folio, a commander of such great command, and of such greatness to command, that I never saw any that in that respect could countermand him : for his making is almost past description, no Saracen's head seems greater, and sure I think his brainpan if it were emptied, (as I think he hath not much brain in it,) would well contain half a bushel of malt, his shaggy hair and beard would stuff a cushion for Charons boat, his embossed nose and embroidered face, would furnish a Jeweller ; his eyes well dried, would make good tennis-balls, or shot for a small piece of ordnance, his yawning mouth would serve for a cony-burrow, and his two ragged rows of teeth, for a stone wall, or a pale ; then hath he a neck like one of Hercules his pillars, with a wind-pipe, (or rather a beer pipe) as big as the boar of a demi- culvering, or a wooden pump ; through which con- duit half a brewing of Hambtcrgh beer doth run down into his unmeasurable paunch, wherein is more midriff, guts and garbage than three tripe- wives could be able to utter before it stunk. His post-like legs were answerable to the rest of the great frame which they supported, and to conclude. Sir Bevis, Ascapari, Gogmagog, or our English Sir jfohn Falstciff^ were but shrimps to this bezzling bombard's longitude, latitude, altitude, and crassi- tude, for he passes, and surpasses the whole German multitude. 10 Taylors Travels. And as he is great in corpulency, so is he power- ful in potency, for figuratively he hath spiritual resemblance of Romish authority, and in some sort he is a kind of demi-Pope, for once a year in the dog-days he sends out his men with baits instead of Bulls, with full power from his greatness, to knock down all the curs without contradiction, whose masters or owners will not be at the charge to buy a pardon for them of his mightiness, which pardon is more durable than the Popes of wax or parch- ment, for his is made of a piece of the hide of an ox, a horse, or such lasting stuff, which with his stigmatical stamp or seal is hanged about every dog's neck who is freed from his fury by the pur- chase of his pardon. And sure I am persuaded that these dogs are more sure of their lives with the hangman's pardon, than the poor besotted blinded Papists are of their seduced souls from any pardon of the Popes. The privileges of this grand halter-master are many, as he hath the emptying of all the vaults or draughts in the city, which no doubt he gains some favour by. Besides all oxen, kine, horses, hogs, dogs, or any such beasts, if they die themselves, or if they be not like to live, the hangman must knock them on the heads, and have their skins : and what- soever inhabitant in his jurisdiction doth any of these things aforesaid himself, is abhorred and ac- Taylor*s Travels. counted as a villain without redemption. So that with hangings, headings, breakings, pardoning and killing of dogs, flaying of beasts, emptying of vaults, and such privy commodities, his whole revenue sometimes amounts to 4. or 5. hundred pounds a year. And he is held in that regard and estimation, that any man will converse and drink with him, nay sometimes the Lords of the town will feast with him, and it is accounted no impeachment to their honours ; for he is held in the rank of a gentleman, (or a rank gentleman) and he scorns to be called in the cast weeds of executed offenders : No, he goes to the mercers, and hath his satin, his velvet, or what stuff he pleases, measured out by the yard or the ell, with his gold and silver lace, his silk stockings, laced spangled garters and roses, hat and feather, with four or five brave villains attending him in livery cloaks, who have stipendiary means from his ignominious bounty. Monday the 19. of August, about the hour of 12. at noon, the people of the town in great multi- tudes flocked to the place of execution ; which is half a mile English without the gates built more like a sconce than a gallows, for it is walled and ditched about with a drawbridge and the prisoner came on foot with a Divine with him, all the way exhorting him to repentance, and because death should not 12 Taylor's Travels. terrify him, they had given him many rouses'"' and carouses of wine and beer : for it is the custom there to make such poor wretches drunk, whereby they may be senseless either of God's mercy or their own misery : but being prayed for by'others, they them- selves may die resolutely, or (to be feared) desper- ately. But the prisoner being come to the place of death, he was by the officers delivered to the hangman, who entering his strangling fortification with two grand hangmen more and their men, which were come from the city of Liibeck, and another town (which I cannot name) to assist their Ham- burghian brother in this great and weighty work : the drawbridge was drawn up, and the prisoner mounted on a mount of earth, built high on purpose that the people without may see the execution a quarter of a mile round about : four of the hang- man's men takes each of them a small halter, and by the hands and the feet they hold the prisoners extended all abroad lying on his back : then the Arch-hangman, or the great Master of this mighty business took up a wheel, much about the bigness of one of the fore wheels of a coach : and first, having > put off his doublet, his hat, and being in his shirt, ♦Rouse. — A full glass, a bumper. Taylor's Travels. 13 as if he meant to play at tennis, he took the wheel, and set it on the edge, and turned it with one hand like a top or a whirligig, then he took it by the spokes, and lifting it up with a mighty stroke he beat one of the poor wretch's legs in pieces, (the bones I mean) at which he roared grievously ; then after a little pause he breaks the other leg in the same manner, and consequently breaks his arms, and then he stroke four or five main blows on his breast, and burst all his bulk and chest in shivers, lastly he smote his neck, and missing, burst his chin and jaws to mammocks ; then he took the broken mangled corpse, and spread it on the wheel, and thrust a great post or pile into the nave or hole of the wheel, and then fixed the post into the earth some six foot deep, being in height above the ground, some ten or twelve foot, and there the carcass must lie till it be consumed by all-consuming time, or ravening fowls. This was the terrible manner of this horrid execution, and at this place are twenty posts with those wheels or pieces of wheels, with heads of men nailed on the top of the posts, with a great spike driven through the skull. The several kinds of torments which they inflict upon offenders in those parts makes me to imagine our English hanging to be but a flea-biting. B 14 Taylor's Travels. Moreover, if any man in those parts are to be beheaded, the fashion is, that the prisoner kneels down, and being bHnded with a napkin, one takes hold of the hair of the crown of the head, holding the party upright, whilst the hangman with a back- ward blow with a sword will take the head from a mans shoulders so nimbly, and with such dexterity, that the owner of the head shall never want the miss of it. And if it be any mans fortune to be hanged for never so small a crime, though he be mounted whole, yet he shall come down in pieces, for he shall hang till every joint and limb drop one from another. They have strange torments and varieties of deaths, according to the various nature of offences that are committed : as for example, he that counterfeits any Princes coin, and is proved a coiner, his judgment is to be boiled to death in oil, not thrown into the vessel all at once, but with a pulley or a rope to be hanged under the arm pits, and let down into the oil by degrees : first the feet, and next the legs, and so to boil his flesh from his bones alive. For those that set houses on fire wilfully, they are smoked to death, as first there is a pile or post fixed in the ground, and within an English ell of it is a piece of wood nailed cross whereupon the offender is made fast fitting, then over the top of Taylor's Travels. 15 the post is whelmed a great tub of dry fat, which doth cover or overwhelm the prisoner as low as the middle. Then underneath the executioner hath wet straw, hay, stubble, or such kind of stuff, which is fired, but by reason it is wet and dank, it doth not but smoulder and smoke, which smoke ascends up into the tub where the prisoners head is, and not being able to speak, he will heave up and down with his belly; and people may perceive him in these tor- ments to live three or four hours. Adultery there, if it be proved, is punished with death, as the loss of both the parties heads, if they be both married, or if not both yet the married party must die for it, and the other must endure some easier punishment, either by the purse or carcass ; which in the end proves little better than half a hanging. But as after a tempest a calm is best welcome ; so I imagine it not amiss after all this tragical harsh discourse, to sweeten the readers palate with a few comical reports which were related unto me wherein I seem fabulous, it must be remembered that I claim the privilege of a traveller, who hath authority to report all that he hears and sees, and more too. I was informed of a fellow that was hanged somewhat near the highway, within a mile or two of Collein, and the fashion being to hang with a halter and a chain, that when the halter is i6 Taylor's Travels. rotten with the weather, the carcass drops a button hole lower into the chain. Now it fortuned that this fellow was executed on a winter's afternoon towards night, and being hanged, the chain was shorter than the halter, by reasons whereof he was not strangled, but by the jamming of the chain which could not slip close to his neck, he hanged in great torments under the jaws, it happened that as soon as he was trust up, there fell a great storm of rain and wind, whereupon all the people ran away from the gallows to shelter themselves. But night being come, and the moon shining bright, it chanced that a country boor, or a waggoner and his son with him were driving their empty waggon by the place where the fellow was hanged, who being not choked, in the extremity of his pains did stir his legs and writhe and crumple his body, which the waggoners son perceived, and said ; Father look, the man upon the gallows doth move : quoth the old man he moves indeed, I pray thee let us make haste, and put the waggon under the gibbet, to see if we can unhang and save him. This being said was quickly done, and the wretch half dead was laid in straw in the boors waggon, and carried home, where with good attendance he was in four or five days recovered to his health, but that he had a crick in his neck, and the cramp in his jaws. The old man was glad that he had done so good a deed, (as Taylor's Travels. 17 he thought) began to give the thief Fatherly counsel, and told him that it was Gods great mercy towards him to make me (quoth he) the instrument of thy deliverance, and therefore look that thou make good use of this his gracious favour towards thee, and labour to redeem the time thou hast misspent, get thee into some other Princes country, where thy former crimes may not bring thee into the danger of the law again, and there with honest industrious endeavours get thy living. The thief seemed willing to entertain these good admonitions, and thanked the boor and his son, telling them that the next morning he would be gone : and if ever his fortunes made him able, he promised to be so grateful unto them that they should have cause to say their great courtesies were well bestowed upon him ; but all his sugared sweet promises, were in the proof but gall and wormwood in the performance : or this graceless caitiff arose betimes in the morning, and drew on a pair of boots and spurs which were the mans sons of the house, and slipping out of the doors, went to the stable and stole one of his kind hosts best horses, and away rode he. The man and his son, when they were up and missed the thief and the horse, were amazed at the ingratitude of the wretch, and with all speed his son and he rode several ways in pursuit of him, and in brief one of them took him, and brought him back i8 Taylor's Travels. to their house again, and when it was night they bound him, and laid him in their waggon (having deaf ears, and hardened hearts to all his entreaties) and away to the gallows where they found him hanging, there they, with the halter being a little shortened, they left him. The next day the country people wondered to see him hanging there again, for they had seen him hanged, and missed him gone, and now to be thus strangely and privately come again in boots and spurs, whereas they remembered at his first hanging he had shoes and stockings, it made them muse what journey he had been riding, and what a mad ghost he was to take the gallows for his inn, or (as I suppose) for his end. The rumour of this accident being bruited abroad, the people came far and near to see him, all in general wondering how these things should come to pass. At last, to clear all doubts proclamations were published with pardon, and a reward to any that could discover the truth, whereupon the old Boor and Son came in and related the whole circum- stance of the matter. At another place (the hangmans place being void) there were two of the blood, (for it is to be noted that the succession of that office doth lineally descend from the Father to the Son, or to the next of the blood) which were at strife for the possession of this high indignity. Now it happened that two men Taylor's Travels. 19 were to be beheaded at the same town, and at the same time, and (and to avoid suit in law for this great prerogative) it was concluded by the arbitrators, that each of these new hangmen should execute one of the prisoners, and he that with greatest cunning and sleight could take the head from the body, should have the place, to this they all agreed and the prisoners were brought forth, where one of the executioners did bind a red silk thread double about his prisoners neck the threads being distant one from another only the breadth of one thread, and he promised to cut off the head with a backward blow with his sword, between the threads. The other called his prisoner aside, and told him if he would be ruled by him, he should have his life saved, and besides (quoth he) I shall be sure to have the office. The prisoner was glad of the motion, and said he would do anything upon these conditions, then said the hangman, when thou art upon thy knees, and hast said thy prayers, and that I do lift up my axe, (for I will use an axe) to strike thee, I will cry Hem, at which word do thou rise and run away, (thou knowest none will slay thee if thou canst once escape after thou art delivered into my custody, it is the fashion of our country) and let me alone to shift to answer the matter. This being said or whispered, the headsman with the sword did cut off the prisoners head just between the threads as he had 20 ' Taylor's Travels. said, which made all the people wonder at the steadiness of his hand, and most of them judged that he was the man that was and would be most fittest to make a mad hangman of. But as one tale is good till another be told, and as there be three degrees of good, better, and best ; so this last hangman did much exceed and eclipse the others cunning : For his prisoner being on his knees, and he lifting up his axe to give the fatal blow. Hem, (said he according to promise) where- upon the fellow arose and ran away, but when he had run some seven or eight paces, the hangman threw the axe after him, and struck his head smoothly from his shoulders, now for all this, who shall have the place is unknown, for they are yet in law for it ; and I doubt not but before the matter be ended, that the lawyers will make them exercise their own trades upon themselves to end the con- troversy. This tale doth savour somewhat Hyper- bolical but I wish the reader to believe no more of the matter than I saw, and there is an end. At another town there stood an old over- worn despised pair of gallows, but yet not so old but they will last many a fair year with good usage, but the townsmen a little distance from them built another pair, in a more stately geometrical port and fashion, whereupon they were demanded why they would be at the charge to erect a new gallows, having so Taylor's Travels. sufficient an old one : they answered, that those old gallows should serve to hang fugitives and strangers; but those new ones were built for them and their heirs for ever. Thus much for hangmen, thieves, and gallowses. Yet one thing more for thieves: In Hamburgh those that are not hanged for theft, are chained 2. or 3. together, and they must in that sort six or seven years draw a dung-cart, and cleanse the streets of the town, and every one of those thieves for as many years as he is condemned to that slavery, so many bells he hath hanged at an iron above one of his shoulders, and every year a bell is taken off, till all are gone, and then he is a free man again, and I did see ten or twelve of these carts, and some of the thieves had 7. bells, some 5. some 6. some one, but such a noise they make, as if all the Devils in Hell were dancing the morrice. Hamburgh is a free city, not being subject to the Emperor, or any other Prince, but only governed by twenty-four Burgomasters, whereof two are the chief, who are called Lords, and do hold that dignity from their first election during their lives. The buildings are all of one uniform fashion, very lofty and stately, it is wonderful populous, and the water with boats comes through most of the streets of the town. 22 Taylor's Travels. Their churches are most gorgeously set forth, as the most of them covered with copper, with very lofty spires, and within sides they are adorned with crucifixes, images, and pictures, which they do charily keep for ornaments, but not for idle or idol adornation. In St. Jacobs and in Saint Katherines Churches there is in one of them a pupil of alabaster, and in the other a pair of such organs, which for worth and workmanship are unparalleled in Christendom, as most travellers do relate. The women are no fashion mongers, but they keep in their degrees one continual habit, as the richer sort do wear a huke, which is a robe of cloth or stuff plaited, and the upper part of it is gathered and sewed together in the form of an English potlid, with a tassel on the top, and so put upon the head, and the garment goes over her ruff and face if she please, and so down to the ground, so that a man may meet his own wife, and perhaps not know her from another woman. They have no porters to bear burdens, but they have big burly-boned knaves with their wives that do daily draw carts any whither up and down the town, with merchants goods or any other employ- ments : and it is reported that these cart-drawers are to see the rich men of the town provided of milch-nurses for their children which nurses they call by the name of Ams, so that if they do want a Taylor's Travels. 23 nurse at any time, these fellows are cursed, because they have not gotten wenches enough with child to supply their wants. But if a man of any fashion do chance to go astray to a house of iniquity, the whilst he is in the house at his drudgery, another of the whores will go to the sheriff, (which they call the Right-heir) and inform that such a man is in such a suspected house, then is his coming forth narrowly watched, and he is taken and brought before the Right-heir, and examined, where if he be a man of credit, he must, and will pay forty, fifty, or sixty Rex Dollers before he will have his reputation called in question. Of which money the quean that did inform shall have her reward. A lawyer hath but a bad trade there, for any cause or controversy is tried and determined in three days, quirks, quiddits, demurs, habeas, corpuses, sursararaes, procedendoes, or any such dilatory Law-tricks and abolished, and not worth a button. But above all, I must not forget the rare actions and humours of a quacksalver or mountebank, or to speak more familiarly, a shadow a skilful chirurgeon. This fellow being clad in an ancient doublet of decayed satin, with a spruce leather jerkin with glass buttons, the rest of his attire being corres- pondent, was mounted upon the scaffold, having 24 Taylor's Travels. shelves set with viols, gallipots, glasses, boxes, and such like stuff, wherein as he said, were waters, oils, unguents, emplasters, electuaries, vomits, purges, and a world of never heard of drugs; and being mounted (as I said) he and his man began to proclaim all their skill and more, having a great number of idle and ignorant gazers on, he began as followeth (as I was informed by my interpreter, for I understood not one word he spake.) I Jacomo Compostella, practitioner in physic, chirurgery, and the mathematics, being a man famous through Europe, Asia, Africa, and America, from the oriental exaltation of Titan, to his occi- dental declination, who for the testimony of my skill, and the rare cures that I have done, have these princes hands and seals ; at first the great Cham of Tartaria, in whose court, only with this water which is the Elixir of Henbane, diafracted in a diurnal of ingredients Hippocratontic, Avicenian, and Cataract, with this did I cure the great Duchess of Promulpho of the cramp in her tongue : and with this oil did I restore the Emperor Gregory Evanowick, of a convulsion in his pericranion. From thence I travelled to Slavonia, where I met with Mustapha Despot of Servia, who at that time was intolerably vexed with a Spasmus, so that it often drove him into a syncope with the violent obstructions of the conflagerating of his veins. Taylor's Travels. 25 Only with this precious unguent being the quintes- sence of Mugwort, with Auripigme7ity , terrographi- cated in a Hmbeck of crystalHne translucency, I recovered him to his former health, and for my reward I had a Barbary horse with rich caparisons, a Turkish scimitar, a Persian robe, and 2000. Hungarian ducats. Besides, here are the hands and seals of Potohamock, Adelantado of Prozewgma, and of Gulch Flownder scurf e chief burgomaster of Belgrade, and of divers princes and estates, which to avoid tedious prolixity I omit. But good people if you or any other be troubled with apoplexies, palsies, cramps, lethargies, cataracks, quinsies, tisicks pleurisies, coughs, headaches, tertiaivquartan, and quotidian agues, burning fevers, jaundices, drop- sies, colics, illiaca passio's, the stone, the strangury, the pox, plague, botches, biles, blains, scabs, scurfs, mange, leprosies, cankers, megrims, mumps, fluxes, measles, murrains, gouts, consumptions, toothache, ruptures, hernia aquosa, hernia ventosa, hernia carnosa, or any other malady that dares afflict the body of man or woman, come and buy while you may have it for money, for I am sent for speedily to the Emperor of Trapezond, about affairs of great importance that highly concerns his royal person. Thus almost two hours did this fellow with embost words, and most laborious action, talk and 26 Taylor's Travels. swear to the people, that understood no more what he said, than he himself understood himself. And I think his whole takings for simple compounds did amount in the total to 9. pence sterling. But leaving Ha^nbtLrgh, (having gathered these few observations aforesaid) out of it I went Augttst 28. and my first jaunt of my travels was by water, to a town called Buckstahoo, it is a little walled town, and stands on the other side of the river, 3. miles as they call it from Hamburgh. The boat we passed in is called an htar, not so good as a Gravesencl barge, yet I think it may be as great, and the three miles longer than from London, to Gravesend, for I am sure that we were going 9. hours before we could be landed. Our passage cost us 3. pence a piece, and one thing I remember, well, that the lazy watermen will sit still all (or the most part of the way) whilst their passengers, (be they never so rich or poor, all is one to them, be they men or women) they must row by turns an hour or such a matter : and we landed in the night at a place called Grants, where all the passengers were to go to supper, but such diet we had, that the proverb was truly verified God sent meat, and the Devit sent Gooks : for as there was no respect of persons in the boat, so all fellows at the table, and all one price, the palatine and the plebeian : our first mess was great platters of black brpth, in shape like new tar, and in taste Cousin Taylor's Travels. 27 German to slut pottage ; our second were dishes of eels, chopped as small as herbs, and the broth they were in as salt as brine ; then had we a boiled goose, with choak pears and carrots buried in a deep dish ; and when we demanded what was to pay, it was but three pence a man, I mused at the cheapness of it, but afterwards they came upon us with a fresh reckoning of fivepence a man for beer, for they never count their meat and drink together, but bring in several reckonings for them : but the morning being come, we hired a boors waggon, to carry us to a place called Citezen, three miles there, or 12 E nglish miles from BiLckstahoo : a little bald dorp it is where we came about noon, and found such slender entertainment, that we had no cause to boast of our good cheer or our hostess cookery. We having refreshed ourselves, and hired a fresh waggon, away we went two miles further to a dorp called Rodonburgh, this village belongeth to the Bishop of Rodonbtirgh, who hath a fair house there, strongly walled and deeply ditched and moated about very defensible, with draw bridges, and good ordinance. This Bishop is a temporal Lord, notwith- standing his spiritual title ; and no doubt but the flesh prevails above the spirit with him ; so the Bishops of Brcame, Lttmiinbttrgh^ and divers other places in Germany, do very charitably take the fleece, (for they themselves never look to the flock) by 28 Taylor's Travels. reason they use no ecclesiastic function, but only in name. Being lodged at Rodonburgh, in a stately inn, where the host, hostess, guests, cows, horses, swine lay all in one room ; yet I must confess their beds to- be very good, and their linen sweet, but in those parts they use no coverlet, rug, or blanket, but a good featherbed undermost, with clean sheets, pillows, and pillowbears, and another featherbed uppermost, with a fair sheet above all, so that a mans lodging is like a womans lying-in, all white. August the 30. we went from Rodenburgh, and about noon we came to an old walled town, called Feirden, it hath two churches in it, and the hangmans statue very artificially carved in stone, and set on a high pillar with a rod rampart in his hand, at this town I met with six strangers, all travellers, where we went to dinner together, all at one table, and every man opened his knapsack or budget with victuals ; (for he that carries no meat with him, may fast by authority in most places of that country) but to note the kindness of these people one to another, some had bread and a box of salt butter, some had raw bacon, some had cheese, some had pickled herring, some dried beef, and amongst the rest I had brought three ribs of roast beef, and other provision from Hamburgh : to conclude, we drew all like fiddlers, and fed (for the most part) like swine, for Taylor's Travels. 29 every man eat what was his own, and no man did proffer one bit of what he had to his neighbour, so he that had cheese must dine with cheese, for he that had meat would offer him none ; I did cut every one a part of my roast beef ; which my guide told me they would not take well, because it is not the fashion of the country : I tried, and found them very tractable to take anything that was good, so that I perceived their modesty to take one from another, proceeds from their want of manners to offer. But dinner being done, away we went over a bridge, in the midst whereof is a cage,'" made in the likeness of a great lanthorn, it is hanged on a turning gibbet like a crane : so that it may be turned on the bridge and over the river, as they shall please that have occasion to use it. It is big enough to hold two men, and it is for this purpose if any one or more do rob gardens or orchards, or cornfields, (if they be taken) he or they are put into this same whirligig, or kickambob, and the gibbet being turned, the offender hangs in this cage from the river some 12. or 14. foot from the water, and then there is a small line made fast to the party some 5. or 6. fathom, and with a trick which they have, the bottom of the cage drops out, and the thief falls suddenly into the water. I had not gone far, but at the end of the bridge I saw an old chapel, which in old time they say was dedicated to St. Frodswick, which hath the day after Saint Luke *A Lynn in the original, [?] C 30 Taylor's Travels. the Evangelist : I entering in, perceived it was a charitable chapel, for the doors and windows were always open, by reason there were none to shut, and it was a common receptacle for beggars and rogues. There was the Image of our Lady with a veil over her, made as I think of a bakers bolter,''' and Saint Peter holding a candle to her. I cut a piece of her veil, and taking Peter by the hand at my departure, the kind Image (I know not upon what acquaintance) being loose handed, let me have his hand with me, which being made of wood, by reason of ruinous antiquity, burst off in the handling : which two precious relics I brought home with me to defend me and all my friends from sparrow-blasting.[?] From this place we were glad to travel on foot I. Dutch mile to a dorp called Dufurn, where we hired a boors waggon to a town Neinburgk, but we could not reach thither by 2. English miles, so that we were glad to lodge in a barn that night : on the morrow early we arose and came to Neinburgh, which is a little walled town, belonging to that Bishopric from whence it is so named. There we staid 3. hours before we could get a waggon, at last we were mounted to a dorp called Leiz, 2. Dutch miles ; I would have bargained with the boor to have carried us to Dorn, which I bade my guide tell him it was but a mile further, a mile quoth the boor, *BOLTER — A machine for separating bran from flour ; a sieve ; a net. Taylor's Travels. 31 indeed we call it no more, but it was measured with a dog-, and they threw in the tail and all to the bargain ; so to Leiz he carried us, and there we found a waggon of Dorn homeward bound, which made us ride the cheaper ; but it was the longest mile that ever I rode or went, for surely it is as much as some ten of our miles in England. But having over- come it at last, from thence I took a fresh waggon to carry me two miles to a town called Buckaburgh, where I had and have I hope a brother residing, to whom my journey was intended, and with whom my peram- bulation was at a period. This town of Buckaburgh is wholly and solely belonging to the Graff or Grave of Shomburgh, a Prince of great command and eminence, absolute in his authority and power, not countermanded by the Emperor, or any other further than courtesy requires ; and in a word, he is one of the best accomplished gentlemen in Ettrope for his person, port, and princely magnificence. He hath there to his inestimable charge, built the town, with many goodly houses, streets, lanes, a strong wall, and a deep ditch, all well furnished with munition and artillery, with a band of Soldiers which he keepeth in continual pay, allowing every man a doller a week, and double apparel every year. Besides, he hath built a stately church, being above 120. steps to the roof, with a fair pair of organs, a curious carved pulpit, and all other ornaments 32 Taylor's Travels. belonging to the same. His own palace may well be called an earthly paradise, which if I should run into the praise of the description of, I should bring my wits into an intricate labyrinth, that I should hardly find the way out, yet according to the imbecility of my memory I will only touch a little at the shadow of it, and let the substance stand where it doth. At the front or outward gate is a most stately arch, upon the top whereof is erected the image of Envy, (as great as a demi Colossus) between two dragons, all gilt with gold, before the gate is an iron grate to open and shut as it were of flowers or work of embroidery, at which gate stands always a Court of guard, and a sentinal, and at the lower part of the arch is the Princes title or in capital letters as followeth ; ERNESTUS DEI GRATIA COMES HO EST, Scomburgh, Sternburgh, &c. After I was entered within the outward gate, I was shewed his stables, where I saw very fair and goodly horses, both for war and other uses, amongst the rest there was one naturally spotted like a leopard or panther, and is called by the name of leopard, a stately courageous beast and so formed as Taylor's Travels. 33 if nature had laid all her cunning aside, only to compose that horse, and indeed I must acknowledge he was made for the service of some great Prince, and not for any inferior person. Passing further, I came to another Court of guard, and over a draw-bridge, into the inner court, where on the right hand, I was conducted into the chapel, in which chapel, if it were possible that the hand of mortal men (with artificial workmanship) could visibly set forth the magnificent glory of the immortal Creator, then absolutely there it is, but being impossible so to do, (as near as I can) I will describe it ; the pavement is all of black and grey marble, curiously wrought with chequer-work, the seats and pews are carved wainscoat of wonderful cunning and workmanship ; the roof is adorned with the statues of Angels and Cherubims, many in number, all so richly gilded, as if gold were as plentiful as pewter, there could not be more liberality bestowed : besides there are a fair set of organs, with a brave sweet choir of choristers : so that when they sing, the lutes, viols, bandoraes, organs, recorders, sacbuts, and other musical instruments, all strike up together, with such a glorious delicious harmony, as if the angelical music of the spheres were descended into that earthly tabernacle. The Prince himself is a Protestant, very zealous in his prayer, and diligent in his attention to the preacher, 34 Taylors Travels. who although I understood not, yet I perceived he was a good Divine, who gravely and sincerely with reverence and eloquent elocution, delivered the Bread of Life to the understanding auditors. In this town I staid with my brother from Saturday the last of Atcgust, till the Thursday following which was the fifth of September. When I was conducted an English mile on my way by certain of m'y Country men my Lords musicians, where we drank and parted, only my brother and my guide brought me that night to a strong walled town called Minden^ which standeth on the river of Weazar, and belongeth to the Bishop of that See. On the morrow I walked to see the town, where I bought thirty-six cheeses for eightpence, and a yard and a half of pudding for fivepence, which I brought into England for rarities. So about noon we took a boat to pass down the river, which boat is much longer than any Western barge, but nothing near so broad, it was half laden with lime and chalk, and by reason the wind blew hard, we were almost choked with the flying and scattering of that dusty com- modity. Besides the water was so shallow, that we ran a-ground three or four times, and sometimes an hour, sometimes less before we could get afloat again : which made me and my guide go a-shore at a village called Peterhaghen, where we hired a waggon to Leize, where we stayed all night, (being Taylor's Travels. 35 come into our old way again) where were a crew of strolling rogues and whores that took upon them the name of Egyptians, jugglers, and fortune-tellers, and indeed one of them held the good wife with a tale, the whilst another was picking her chest, and stole out ten dollers which is forty shillings, and she that talked with her, looked in her hand, and told her that if she did not take great heed she knew by her Art that some mischance was near her : which proved true, for her money was gone, the whilst her fortune was telling. But I appointed a waggon over night to be ready by three of the clock in the morning, when I arose and applied my travel so hard by changing fresh waggons, so that that day I came as far as Rodenbtcrgk, which was nine Dutch miles, where I stayed that night : The next day being Sunday the eight of September, we took waggon towards Bttck- stakoOy we had a merry boor, with an hundred tatters about him ; and now I think it fit a little to describe these boors, their natures, habits, and unmannerly manners. In our English tongue the name boar or boor do truly explain their swinish condition, for most of them are as full of humanity as a bacon-hog, or a boar, and their wives as cleanly and courteous as sows. For the most part of the men they are clad in thin buckrum, unlined, bare legged and 36 Taylor's Travels. footed, neither band nor scarce shirt, no woollen in the world about them, and thus will they run through all weathers for money by the waggons side, and though no better apparelled, yet all of them have houses, land, or manual means to live by. The substantial boors I did meet above 120. of them that Sunday, with every one a hatchet in his hand, I mused at it, and thought they had been going to fell wood that day, but my guide told me they were going to church, and that instead of cloaks they carried hatchets, and that it was the fashion of the country : whereupon it came into my mind, cloak, qttasi cleave- oak, ergo the boors wear hatchets instead of cloaks. There are other fashion boors, who wear white linen breeches as close as Irish trousers, but so long that they are turned up at the shoe in a roll like a maids sleeves at the hand, but what these fellows want in the bigness of their hose, they have in doublets, for their sleeves are as big as breeches, and the bodies great enough to hold a kilderkin of beer, and a barrel of butter. The country is very full of woods, and especially oaks, which they very seldom cut down, because of the mast for their swine, which live there in great abundance. If any man be slain or murdered in the way, they use to set up a wooden cross in the Taylor's Travels. 37 place, for a memorial of the bloody fact committed there, and there were many of those wooden crosses in the way as I travelled. They seldom have any robbery committed amongst them, but there is a murder with it, for their unmannerly manner is to knock out a mans brains first, or else to lurk behind a tree, and shoot a man with a piece or a pistol, and so make sure work with the passenger, and then search his pockets. It is as dangerous to steal or kill a hare in some places there, as it is to rob a church or kill a man in England, and yet a two-penny matter will discharge the offender, for the best and the worst is but an halter ; and I was informed that an English merchant (not knowing the danger) as he was riding on the way, having a piece charged in his hand (as it is an ordinary weapon to travel with there) by chance he espied a hare, and shot at her and killed her ; but he was apprehended for it, and it was like to have cost him his life ; but before he got out of the trouble, he was fain to use his best friends and means, (and pleading ignorance for his innocency, at last with the loss of a great deal of liberty, and five hundred pound in money, he was discharged : The reason of this strict course is, because all the hares in the country do belong to one Lord or other, and being in abundance, they are killed by the owners 38 Taylor's Travels. appointment, and carried to the markets by cart- loads, and sold for the use of the honourable owners: And no boor or tenant that dwells in those part, where those hares are plenty must keep a dog except he pay five shillings a year to the Lord, or else one of his fore-feet must be cut off, that he may not hunt hares. A man is in almost as high proportion to be a knave in England, as a Knight in Germany, for there a gentleman is called a youngcur, and a Knight is but a youngcurs man, so that you shall have a scurvy Squire command a Knight to hold his stirrup, pluck off his boots, or any other unknightly piece of service : and verily I think there are an loo several Princes, Earls, Bishops, and other estates, that do every one keep a Mint, and in their, own names stamp money, gold, silver and brass, and amongst 23. twopences which I had of their brass money, (which they call grushes) I had 13 several coins. Many more such worthy injunctions and honourable ordinances I observed, which are hardly worth pen and ink the describing, and therefore I omit them, and draw towards an end, for on the Wednesday morning I was at an anchor at Sload, and on the Friday night following I was (by Gods gracious assistance) landed at London. So that in three weeks and three days I sailed from England Taylor's Travels. 39 Hamburgh and back again, staying in the country 1 7. days, and travelled 200 miles by land there : gathering like a busy bee all these honeyed observations, some by sight, some by hearing, some by both, some by neither, and some by bare supposition. FINIS. THE PEN^^YLES PILGEIMAGE, OR The Money-lefie perambulation^ of loHN Taylor, Alias the Kings Majesties Water-Poet. HOW HE TRAVAILED ON FOOT iromLondon\,oEdenborough'm Scotland, not carrying any Money to or fro, neither Begging, Borrow- ing, or Asking Meate, drinke or Lodging. With his Description of his Entertainment in all places of his lourney, and a true Report of the vnmatchable Hunting in the Brea of Mar re and Badenoch in Scotland, With other Obferuations, fome ferious and worthy of Memory, and fome merry and not hurtfull to be Remembred. Lastly that (which is Rare in a Trauailer) all is true. LONDON Printed by Edw: Allde, at the charges of the Author. 1618 To THE Truly Noble and Right Honorable Lord GEORGE MAR- quis of Buckingham, Viscount Villiers, Baron of Whaddon, Justice in Eyre of all his Majesty's Forests, Parks, and Chases beyond Trent, Master of the Horse to his Majesty, and one of the Gentle- men of his Highness Royal Bed-Chamber, Knight of the most Noble Order of the Garter, and one of his Majesty's most Honorable Privy Council of both the Kingdoms of England and Scotland. IGHT Honorable, and worthy honoured Lord, as in my Travels, I was enter- tained, welcomed, and relieved by many Honourable Lords, Worshipful Knights, Esquires, Gentlemen, and others both in England and Scot- land. So now your Lordship's inclination hath incited, or invited my poor muse to shelter her- self under the shadow of your honorable patronage, not that there is any worth at all in my sterile invention, but in all humility I acknowledge that it is only your Lordship's acceptance, that is able to make this nothing, something, and withal engage me ever. Your Honors, In all observance, JOHN TAYLOR, TO ALL MY LOVING ADVENTURERS, BY WHAT NAME OR TITLE SOEVER, MY GENERAL SALUTATION. \EADER, these Travels of mine into Scot- land, were not undertaken, neither in I imitation^ or emulation of any man, but only devised by myself on purpose to make trial of my friends both in this Kingdom of England, and that of Scotland, and because I would be an eye-witness of divers things which I had heard of that Country ; mid whereas many shallow-brained Critics, do lay an aspersion on me, that I was set on by others, or that I did undergo this project, either in malice, or mockage of Master Benjamin ]on^on, I vow by the faith of a Christian, that their imaginations are all wide, for he is a gentleman, to whom I am so much obliged for many undeserved courtesies that I have received from him, and from others by his favour, that I durst never to be so impudent or ungrateful, as either to suffer any mans persuasions, or mine own instiga- tion, to incite me, to make so bad a requital, for so IV Dedication. much goodness formerly received ; so mtich for that^ and now Reader^ if yoit expect That I should write of cities' situations, Or that of countries I should make relations : Of brooks, crooks, nooks ; of rivers, bournes and rills. Of mountains, fountains, castles, towers and hills. Of shires, and piers, and memorable things, Of lives and deaths of great commanding kings, I touch not those, they not belong to me ; But if such things as these you long to see. Lay down my book, and but vouchsafe to read The learned Camden^ or laborious Speed, And so God speed you and me^ whilst I rest Yours in all thankfulness : John Taylor. TAYLOR'S PENNILESS PILGRIMAGE. 1ST Lordlings, list (if you have lust to list) I write not here a tale of had I wist : But you shall hear of travels, and relations, Descriptions of strange (yet English) fashions. And he that not believes what here is writ, Let him (as I have done) make proof of it. The year of grace, accounted (as I ween) One thousand twice three hundred and eighteen, And to relate all things in order duly, 'Twas Tuesday last, the fourteenth day of July, Saint Revels day, the almanack will tell ye The sign in Virgo was, or near the belly : The moon full three days old, the wind full south ; At these times I began this trick of youth. I speak not of the tide, for understand. My legs I made my oars, and rowed by land, 2 Taylor^s Penniless Pilgrimage. Though in the morning I began to go Good fellows trooping, flocked me so, That make what haste I could, the sun was set, E're from the gates of London I could get. At last I took my latest leave thus late. At the Bell Inn, that's extra Aldersgate. There stood a horse that my pro van t^ should carry. From that place to the end of my fegary,^ My horse no horse, or mare, but gelded nag. That with good understanding bore my bag : And of good carriage he himself did show. These things are excellent in a beast you know. There in my knapsack, (to pay hunger's fees) I had good bacon, biscuit, neat's-tongue, cheese With roses, barberries, of each conserves, And mithridate, that vigorous health perserves : And I entreat you take these words for no-lies, I had good Aqita vitc^, Rosa so-lies : With sweet Ambrosia, (the gods' own drink) Most excellent gear for mortals, as I think. Besides, I had both vinegar and oil, That could a daring saucy stomach foil. This foresaid Tuesday night 'twixt eight and nine, Well rigged and ballasted, both with beer and wine, I stumbling forward, thus my jaunt begun. And went that night as far as Islington. There did I find (I dare affirm it bold) ^Provant, — Provender ; provision. Tegary. — A vagary. Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage, 3 A Maidenhead of twenty-five years old, But surely it was painted, like a whore. And for a sign, or wonder, hanged at door. Which shows a Maidenhead, that's kept so long, May he hanged up, and yet sustain no wrong. There did my loving friendly host begin To entertain me freely to his inn : And there my friends, and good associates, Each one to mirth himself accommodates. At Well-head both for welcome, and for cheer, Having a good New ton, of good stale beer : There did we Trtmdle^ down health, after health, (Which oftentimes impairs both health and wealth.) Till everyone had filled his mortal trunk, And only No-body"^ was three parts drunk. The morrow next, Wednesday Saint Swithins day, From ancient Islington I took my way. At Holywell I was enforced carouse, Ale high, and mighty, at the Blindman's House. But there's a help to make amends for all. That though the ale be great, the pots be small. At Highgate Hill to a strange house I went. And saw the people were to eating bent. In either borrowed, craved, asked, begged, or bought, But most laborious with my teeth I wrought. I did not this, 'cause meat or drink was scant. But I did practise thus before my want ; Like to a Tilter that would win the prize, *Trundle. — i .e., John Trundle of the sign ol No-hody (see note page 6)» 4 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. Before the day he'll often exercise. So I began to put in use, at first These principles 'gainst hunger, 'gainst thirst. Close to the Gate,^ there dwelt a worthy man, That well could take his whiff, and quaff his can, Right Robin Good-fellow, but humours evil, Do call him Robin Phtto, or the devil. But finding him a devil, freely hearted. With friendly farewells I took leave and parted, And as alongst I did my journey take, I drank at Brooms well, for pure fashion's sake, Two miles I travelled then without a bait, The Saracen's Head at Whetstone entering straight, I found an host, that might lead an host of men, Exceeding fat, yet named Lean, and Fen? And though we make small reckoning of him here, He's known to be a very great man there. There I took leave of all my company. Bade all farewell, yet spake to No-body. Good reader think not strange, what I compile. For No-body was with me all this while. And No-body did drink, and, wink, and scink. And on occasion freely spent his chink. If anyone desire to know the man. Walk, stumble, Trtmdle, but in Barbican. It is reasonable to conjecture that at this date the custom of " Swearing- in at Highgate was not in vogue — or, No-lody would have taken the oath. "Named Lean and Fen. — Some jest is intended here on the Host's name. — Qy., Leanfen, or, the anagram of A. Fennel. Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 5 There's as good beer and ale as ever twang'd, And in that street kind No-body^ is hanged. But leaving him unto his matchless fame, I to St. Albans in the evening came, Where Master Taylor, at the Saracen's Head, Unasked (unpaid for) me both lodged and fed. ^No-Body was the singular sign of John Trundle, a ballad- printer in Barbican in the seventeenth century [and who seems to have accompanied our author as far as Whetstone on his "Penniless Pil- grimage" — and, certainly up to this point a very "wet" one!] In one of Ben Jonson's plays Nobody is introduced, "attyred in a payre of Breeches, which were made to come up to his neck, with his armes out at his pockets and cap drowning his face." This comedy was "printed for John Trundle and are to be sold at his shop in Barbican at the sygne of No-Body." A unique ballad, preserved in the Miller Collection at Britwell House, entitled "The Well-spoken No-body," is accompanied by a woodcut representing a ragged barefooted fool on pattens, with a torn money-bag under his arm, walking through a chaos of broken pots, pans, bellows, candlesticks, tongs, tools, windows, &c. Above him is a scroll in black-letter : — The ballad commences as follows : — Many speke of Robin Hoode that never shott in his bowe, So many have layed faultes to me, which I did never knowe ; But nowe, beholde, here I am, Whom all the worlde doeth diffame ; Long have they also scorned me, And locked my mouthe for speking free. As many a Godly man they have so served Which unto them God's truth hath shewed ; Of such they have burned and hanged some. That uuto their ydolatrye wold not come : The Ladye Truthe they have locked in cage. Saying of her Nobodye had knowledge. For as much nowe as they name Nobodye I thinke verilye they speke of me : Whereffore to ansAvere I nowe beginne — The locke of my mouthe is opened with ginne, Wrought by no man, but by God's grace, Unto whom he prayse in every place," &c. Larwood and Hotten's History of Signboards. 6 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. The tapsters, hostlers, chamberlains, and all, Saved me a labour, that I need not call, The jugs were filled and filled, the cups went round, And in a word great kindness there I found, For which both to my cousin, and his men, I'll still be thankful in word, deed, and pen. Till Thursday morning there I made my stay. And then I went plain Dunstable highway. My very heart with drought methought did shrink, I went twelve miles, and no one bade me drink. Which made me call to mind, that instant time, That drunkenness was a most sinful crime. When Puddle-hill I footed down, and past A mile from thence, I found a hedge at last. There stroke we sail, our bacon, cheese, and bread, We drew like fiddlers, and like farmers fed. And whilst two hours we there did take our ease, My nag made shift to mump green pulse^ and peas. Thus we our hungry stomachs did supply, And drank the water of a brook hard by. Away toward Hockley in the Hole, we make. When straight a horseman did me overtake, Who knew me, and would fain have given me coin, I said, my bonds did me from coin enjoin, I thanked and prayed him to put up his chink. And willingly I wished it drowned in drink. Away rode he, but like an honest man, I found at Hockley standing at the Swan, ^PuLSE. —All sorts of leguminous seeds. Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 7 A formal tapster, with a jug and glass, Who did arrest me : I most willing was To try the action, and straight put in bail, My fees were paid before, with sixpence ale, To quit this kindness, I most willing am, The man that paid for all, his name is Dam, At the Green Dragon, against Grays-Inn gate, He lives in good repute, and honest state. I forward went in this my roving race, To Stony Stratford I toward night did pace, My mind was fixed through the town to pass, To find some lodging in the hay or grass. But at the Queens Arms, from the window there, A comfortable voice I chanced to hear, Call Taylor, Taylor, and be hanged come hither, I looked for small entreaty and went thither, There were some friends, which I was glad to see. Who knew my journey ; lodged, and boarded me. On Friday morn, as I would take my way, My friendly host entreated me to stay, Because it rained, he told me I should have Meat, drink, and horse-meat and not pay or crave. I thanked him, and for his love remain his debtor, But if I live, I will requite him better. (From Stony Stratford) the way hard with stones, Did founder me, and vex me to the bones. In blustering weather, both for wind and rain. Through Towcester I trotted with much pain, 8 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. Two miles from thence, we sat us down and dined, Well bulwarked by a hedge, from rain and wind. We having fed, away incontinent, With weary pace toward Dav entry we went. Four miles short of it, one o'ertook me there, And told me he would leave a jug of beer, At Daventry at the Horse-shoe for my use. I thought it no good manners to refuse. But thanked him, for his kind unasked gift, Whilst I was lame as scarce a leg could lift, Came limping after to that stony town. Whose hard streets made me almost halt right down. There had my friend performed the words he said, And at the door a jug of liquor staid. The folks were all informed, before I came, How, and wherefore my journey I did frame, Which caused mine hostess from her door come out, (Having a great wart rampant on her snout.) The tapsters, hostlers, one another call, The chamberlains with admiration all, Were filled with wonder, more than wonderful, As if some monster sent from the Mogul, Some elephant from Africa, I had been. Or some strange beast from the Amazonian Queen. As buzzards, widgeons, woodcocks, and such fowl. Do gaze and wonder at the broad-faced owl, Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 9 So did these brainless asses, all amazed, With admirable Nonsense talked and gazed, They knew my state (although not told by me) That I could scarcely go, they all could see, They drank of my beer, that to me was given. But gave me not a drop to make all even, And that which in my mind was most amiss, My hostess she stood by and saw all this. Had she but said, come near the house my friend. For this day here shall be your journey's end. Then had she done the thing which [she] did not. And I in kinder words had paid the shot. I do entreat my friends, (as I have some) If they to Daventry do chance to come. That they will baulk that inn ; or if by chance, Or accident into that house they glance. Kind gentlemen, as they by you reap profit. My hostess care of me, pray tell her of it,'"' Yet do not neither ; lodge there when you will, You for your money shall be welcome still. From thence that night, although my bones were sore, I made a shift to hobble seven miles more : The way to Dunchiirch, foul with dirt and mire. Able, I think, both man and horse to tire. On Dunsmoor Heath, a hedge doth there enclose Grounds, on the right hand, there I did repose, *See Dedication to The Scourge of Baseness, lO Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage, Wit's whetstone, Want, there made us quickly learn, With knives to cut down rushes, and green fern, Of which we made a field-bed in the field, Which sleep, and rest, and much content did yield. There with my mother earth, I thought it fit To lodge, and yet no incest did commit : My bed was curtained with good wholesome airs. And being weary, I went up no stairs : The sky my canopy, bright Phoebe shined Sweet bawling Zephyr us breathed gentle wind. In heaven's star-chamber I did lodge that night. Ten thousand stars, me to my bed did light ; There barricadoed with a bank lay we Below the lofty branches of a tree. There my bed-fellows and companions were. My man, my horse, a bull, four cows, two steer : But yet for all this most confused rout, We had no bed-staves, yet we fell not out. Thus nature, like an ancient free upholster. Did furnish us with bedstead, bed, and bolster ; And the kind skies, (for which high heaven be thanked,) Allowed us a large covering and a blanket ; Auroras face 'gan light our lodging dark, We arose and mounted, with the mountinof lark, Through plashes, puddles, thick, thin, wet and dry, I travelled to the city Coventry. Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 1 1 There Master Doctor Holland^ caused me stay The day of Saturn and the Sabbath day. Most friendly welcome, he me did afford, I was so entertained at bed and board, Which as I dare not brag how much it was, I dare not be ingrate and let it pass, But with thanks many I remember it, (Instead of his good deeds) in words and writ. He used me like his son, more than a friend, And he on Monday his commends did send To Newhall, where a gentleman did dwell, Who by his name is hight Sacheverell. The Tuesday July s one and twentieth day, I to the city Lichfield took my way, At Sutton Coldfield with some friends I met. And much ado I had from thence to get. There I was almost put unto my trumps. My horse's shoes were worn as thin as pumps ; But noble Vulcan, a mad smuggy smith, All reparations me did furnish with. The shoes were well removed, my palfrey shod. And he referred the payment unto God. ^Master Doctor Holland.— The once well-known Philemon Holland, Physician, and Translator-General of his Age," published translations of Livy, 1600; Pliny's "Natural History," 1601 ; Camden's " Britannica," &c. He is said to have used in translation more paper and fewer pens than any other writer before or since, and who "would not let Suetonius be Tranquillus." Porn at Chelmsford, 155 1 ; died 1636. 12 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. I found a friend, when I to Lichfield came, A joiner, and John Piddock is his name. He made me welcome, for he knew my jaunt. And he did furnish me with good provant : He offered me some money, I refused it, And so I took my leave, with thanks excused it, That Wednesday, I a weary way did pass, Rain, wind, stones, dirt, and dabbling dewy grass, With here and there a pelting scattered village, Which yielded me no charity, or pillage : For all the day, nor yet the night that followed. One drop of drink I'm sure my gullet swallowed. At night I came to a stony town called Stone. Where I knew none, nor was I known of none : I therefore through the streets held on my pace, Some two miles farther to some resting place : At last I spied a meadow newly mowed. The hay was rotten, the ground half o'erflowed : We made a breach, and entered horse and man. There our pavilion, we to pitch began, Which we erected with green broom and hay. To expel the cold, and keep the rain away ; The sky all muffled in a cloud 'gan lower. And presently there fell a mighty shower, Which without intermission down did pour. From ten a night, until the morning's four. We all that time close in our couch did lie, Which being well compacted kept us dry. Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage, 13 The worst was, we did neither sup nor sleep, And so a temperate diet we did keep. The morning all enrobed in drifting fogs, We being as ready as we had been dogs : We need not stand upon long ready making, But gaping, stretching, and our ears well shaking : And for I found my host and hostess kind, I like a true man left my sheets behind. That Thursday morn, my weary course I framed. Unto a town that is Newcastle named. (Not that Newcastle standing upon Tyne) But this town situation doth confine Near Cheshire, in the famous county Stafford, And for their love, I owe them not a straw fort ; But now my versing muse craves some repose. And whilst she sleeps I'll spout a little prose. In this town of Newcastle, I overtook an hostler, and I asked him what the next town was called, that was in my way toward Lancaster, he holding the end of a riding rod in his mouth, as if it had been a flute, piped me this answer, and said, Talk-on-the-Hill ; I asked him again what he said Talk-on-the-Hill: I demanded the third time, and the third time he answered me as he did before, Talk-on- the-Hill, I began to grow choleric, and asked him why he could not talk, or tell me my way as well there as on the hill ; at last I was resolved, that the next town was four miles off me, and that the 14 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage, name of it was, Talk-on-the-Hill : I had not travelled above two miles farther : but my last night's supper (which was as much as nothing) my mind being informed of it by my stomach. I made a virtue of necessity, and went to breakfast in the Sun : I have fared better at three Suns many times before now, in Aldersgate Street, Cripp legate, and new Pisk Street ; but here is the odds, at those Suns they will come upon a man with a tavern bill as sharp cutting as a tailor's bill of items : a watchman's-bill, or a welsh- hook falls not half so heavy upon a man ; besides, most of the vintners have the law in their own hands, and have all their actions, cases, bills of debt, and such reckonings tried at their own bars ; from whence there is no appeal. But leaving these impertinences, in the material Sunshine, we eat a substantial dinner, and like miserable guests we did budget up the reversions. And now with sleep my muse hath eased her brain I'll turn my style from prose, to verse again. That which we could not have, we freely spared, And wanting drink, most soberly we fared. We had great store of fowl (but 'twas foul way) And kindly every step entreats me stay. The clammy clay sometimes my heels would trip, One foot went forward, the other back would slip, This weary day, when I had almost past, I came unto Sir Urian Leigh's at last. Taylor^s Penniless Pilgrimage. 15 At Adlington, near Macclesfield he doth dwell, Beloved, respected, and reputed well. Through his great love, my stay with him was fixed, From Thursday night, till noon on Monday next. At his own table I did daily eat. Whereat may be supposed, did want no meat. He would have given me gold or silver either. But I, with many thanks, received neither. And thus much without flattery I dare swear, He is a knight beloved far and near. First he's beloved of his God above, (Which love he loves to keep, beyond all love) Next with a wife and children he is blest. Each having God's fear planted in their breast. With fair demaines, revenue of good lands. He's fairly blessed by the Almighty's hands. And as he's happy in these outward things. So from his inward mind continual springs Fruits of devotion, deeds of piety. Good hospitable works of charity. Just in his actions, constant in his word, And one that won his honour with the sword, He's no carranto, cap'ring, carpet knight. But he knows when, and how to speak or fight, I cannot flatter him, say what I can, He's every way a complete gentleman. I write not this, for what he did to me. But what mine ears, and eyes did hear and see, 1 6 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. Nor do I pen this to enlarge his fame. But to make others imitate the same, For like a trumpet were I pleased to blow, I would his worthy worth more amply show, But I already fear have been too bold. And crave his pardon, me excused to hold. Thanks to his sons and servants every one, Both males and females all, excepting none. To bear a letter he did me require, Near Manchester, unto a good Esquire : His kinsman Edmund Prestwitch, he ordained, That I was at Manchester entertained Two nights, and one day, ere we thence could pass. For men and horse, roast, boiled, and oats, and grass ; This gentleman not only gave harbour. But in the morning sent me to his barber. Who laved, and shaved me, still I spared my purse. Yet sure he left me many a hair the worse. But in conclusion, when his work was ended. His glass informed, my face was much amended. And for the kindness he to me did show, God grant his customers beards faster grow, That though the time of year be dear or cheap, From fruitful faces he may mow and reap. Then came a smith, with shoes, and tooth and nail. He searched my horse's hoofs, mending what did fail, Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 17 Yet this I note, my nag, through stones and dirt, Did shift shoes twice, ere I did shift one shirt : Can these kind things be in obHvion hid ? No, Master Prestwitck, this and much more did. His friendship did command and freely gave All before writ, and more than I durst crave. But leaving him a little, I must tell. How men of Manchester did use me well. Their loves they on the tenter-hooks did rack. Roast, boiled, baked, too — too — much, white, claret, sack. Nothing they thought too heavy or too hot, Can followed can, and pot succeeded pot. That what they could do, all they thought too little, Striving in love the traveller to whittle. We went into the house of one yohn Pinners, A man that lives amongst a crew of sinners) And there eight several sorts of ale we had, All able to make one stark drunk or mad. But I with courage bravely flinched not. And gave the town leave to discharge the shot. We had at one time set upon the table. Good ale of hyssop, 'twas no ^sop-fable : Then had we ale of sage, and ale of malt. And ale of wormwood, that could make one halt, With ale of rosemary, and betony. And two ales more, or else I needs must lie. But to conclude this drinking aley-tale, 1 8 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage, We had a sort of ale, called scurvy ale. Thus all these men, at their own charge and cost, Did strive whose love should be expressed most, And farther to declare their boundless loves. They saw I wanted, and they gave me gloves, In deed, and very deed, their loves were such, That in their praise I cannot write too much ; They merit more than I have here compiled, I lodged at the Eagle and the Child, Whereas my hostess, (a good ancient woman) Did entertain me with respect, not common. She caused my linen, shirts, and bands be washed. And on my way she caused me be refreshed, She gave me twelve silk points, she gave me bacon, Which by me much refused, at last was taken. In troth she proved a mother unto me. For which, I evermore will thankful be. But when to mind these kindnesses I call, Kind Master Prestwitch author is of all, And yet Sir Urian Leiq/zs good commendation, Was the main ground of this my recreation. From both of them, there what I had, I had, Or else my entertainment had been bad. O all you worthy men of Manchester, (True bred bloods of the County Lancaster) When I forget what you to me have done, Then let me headlong to confusion run. To noble Master Prestwitch I must give Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 19 Thanks, upon thanks, as long as I do Hve, His love was such, I ne'er can pay the score, He far surpassed all that went before, A horse and man he sent, with boundless bounty, To bring me quite through Lancaster s large county. Which I well know is fifty miles at large. And he defrayed all the cost and charge. This unlooked pleasure, was to me such pleasure. That I can ne'er express my thanks with measure. So Mistress Saracoal, hostess kind. And Manchester with thanks I left behind. The Wednesday being Julys twenty nine, My journey I to Preston did confine, All the day long it rained but one shower. Which from the morning to the evening did pour, And I, before to Preston I could get. Was soused, and pickled both with rain and sweat, But there I was supplied with fire and food. And anything I wanted sweet and good. There, at the Hind, kind Master Hind mine host, Kept a good table, baked and boiled, and roast. There Wednesday, Thursday, Friday I did stay. And hardly got from thence on Saturday. Unto my lodging often did repair. Kind Master Thomas Banister, the Mayor, Who is of worship, and of good respect. And in his charge discreet and circumspect. 20 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. For I protest to God I never saw, A town more wisely governed by the law. They told me when my Sovereign there was last, That one man's rashness seemed to give distaste. It grieved them all, but when at last they found, His Majesty was pleased, their joys were crowned. He knew, the fairest garden hath some weeds, He did accept their kind intents, for deeds : One man there was, that with his zeal too hot, And furious haste, himself much overshot. But what man is so foolish, that desires To get good fruit from thistles, thorns and briars ? Thus much I thought good to demonstrate here. Because I saw how much they grieved were ; That any way, the least part of offence. Should make them seem offensive to their Prince. Thus three nights was I staid and lodged in Preston, And saw nothing ridiculous to jest on. Much cost and charge the Mayor upon me spent. And on my way two miles, with me he went. There (by good chance) I did more friendship get, The under Sheriff of Lancashire we met, A gentleman that loved, and knew me well. And one whose bounteous mind doth bear the bell. There, as if I had been a noted thief. The Mayor delivered me unto the Sheriff. The Sheriff's authority did much prevail. He sent me unto one that kept the jail. Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 21 Thus I perambuling, poor yohi Taylor, Was given from Mayor to Sheriff, from Sheriff to Jailor. The Jailor kept an inn, good beds, good cheer, Where paying nothing, I found nothing dear, For the under-Sheriff kind Master Covill named, (A man for house-keeping renowed and famed) Did cause the town of Lancashire afford Me welcome, as if I had been a lord. And 'tis reported, that for daily bounty. His mate can scarce be found in all that county. The extremes of miser, or of prodigal, He shuns, and lives discreet and liberal. His wife's mind, and his own are one, so fixed, That Argus eyes could see no odds betwixt. And sure the difference, (if there difference be) Is who shall do most good, or he, or she. Poor folks report, that for relieving them, He and his wife, are each of them a gem ; At the inn, and at his house two nights I staid, And what was to be paid, I know he paid : If nothing of their kindness I had wrote. Ungrateful me the world might justly note : Had I declared all I did hear, and see, For a great flatterer then I deemed should be. Him and his wife, and modest daughter Bess, With earth, and heaven's felicity, God bless. Two days a man of his, at his command, Did guide me to the midst of Westmoreland, 22 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. And my conductor with a liberal fist, To keep me moist, scarce any alehouse missed. The fourth of August (weary, halt, and lame) We in the dark, to a town called Sedbergh came, There Master Borrowed, my kind honest host, Upon me did bestowed unasked cost. The next day I held on my journey still, Six miles unto a place called Car ling hill. Where Master Edmund Brantkwaite^ doth reside. Who made me welcome, with my man and guide. Our entertainment, and our fare were such. It might have satisfied our betters much ; Yet all too little was, his kind heart thought, And five miles on my way himself me brought. At Orion he, I, and my man did dine. With Master Corney a good true Divine, And surely Master Branthwaite 's well beloved, His firm integrity is much approved : His good effects, do make him still affected Of God and good men, (with regard) respected. He sent his man with me, o'er dale and down, *Edmund Branthwaite. — Robert Branthwaite, William Branthwaite Cant. , and ' * Thy assured friend" R. B. , have each written Commendatory Verses to all the Works of John Taylor. London 1630. And Southey in his "Lives and Works of Uneducated Poets," has the following: — "One might have hoped in these parts for a happy meeting between John Taylor and Barnabee, of immortal memory ; indeed it is likely that the Water-Poet and the Anti- Water-Poet were acquainted, and that the latter may have introduced him to his connections hereabout, Branthwaite being the same name as Brathwait, and Barnabee's brother having married a daughter of this Sir John Dalston. " Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 23 Who lodged, and boarded me at Penrith town, And such good cheer, and bedding there I had, That nothing, (but my weary self) was bad; There a fresh man, (I know not for whose sake) With me a journey would to Carlisle make : But from that city, about two miles wide. Good Sir John Dais ton lodged me and my guide. Of all the gentlemen in England's bounds His house is nearest to the Scottish grounds, And fame proclaims him, far and near, aloud, He's free from being covetous, or proud ; His son. Sir George, most affable, and kind. His fathers image, both in form and mind. On Saturday to Carlisle both did ride. Where (by their loves and leaves) I did abide, Where of good entertainment I found store. From one that was the mayor the year before, His name is Master Adam Robinson, I the last English friendship with him won. He (gratis) found a guide to bring me through, to^lir^jlll From Carlisle to the citv Edinburg^h Dais ton, with •' ^ Sir Henry This was a help, that was a help alone, curwin. Of all my helps inferior unto none. Eight miles from Carlisle runs a little river, Which England's bounds, from Scotland's grounds doth sever. Without horse, bridge, or boat, I o'er did g"et Over Esk I waded. On foot, I went, yet scarce my shoes did wet. 24 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage, I being come to this long-looked-for land, Did mark, remark, note, renote, viewed, and scanned; And I saw nothing that could change my will, But that I thought myself in England still. The kingdoms are so nearly joined and fixed. There scarcely went a pair of shears betwixt ; There I saw sky above, and earth below, And as in England, there the sun did show ; The hills with sheep replete, with corn the dale, namedLkiigiu Aud many a cottap^e yielded p^ood Scottish ale ; had given mo- o ✓ o 7uide%whTl This county (Avondale) in former times, part at every Was the cursed climate of rebellious crimes : ale- house. For Cumberland and it, both kingdoms borders, Were ever ordered, by their own disorders. Some sharking, shifting, cutting throats, and thieving, Each taking pleasure in the other's grieving ; And many times he that had wealth to-night, Was by the morrow morning beggared quite : Too many years this pell-mell fury lasted. That all these borders were quite spoiled and wasted, Confusion, hurly-burly reigned and revelled, The churches with the lowly ground were levelled ; All memorable monuments defaced. All places of defence overthrown and razed. That whoso then did in the borders dwell. Lived little happier than those in hell. But since the all-disposing God of heaven, Hath these two kingdoms to one monarch given, Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 25 Blest peace, and plenty on them both have showered, Exile, and hanging hath the thieves devoured, That now each subject may securely sleep. His sheep and neat, the black the white doth keep, For now those crowns are both in one combined, Those former borders, that each one confine, Appears to rne (as I do understand) To be almost the centre of the land, This was a blessed heaven expounded riddle. To thrust great kingdoms skirts into the middle. Long may the instrumental cause survive. From him and his, succession still derive True heirs unto his virtues, and his throne, That these two kingdoms ever may be one ; This county of all Scotla7id is most poor, By reason of the outrages before. Yet mighty store of corn I saw there grow, And as good grass as ever man did mow : And as that day I twenty miles did pass, I saw eleven hundred neat at grass, By which may be conjectured at the least, That there was sustenance for man and beast. And in the kingdom I have truly scanned. There's many worser parts, are better manned, For in the time that thieving was in ure, The gentles fled to places more secure. And left the poorer sort, to abide the pain. Whilst they could ne'er find time to turn again. 26 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage, The shire of gentlemen is scarce and dainty, Yet there's relief in great abundance plenty, Twixt it and England, little odds I see, They eat, and live, and strong and able be, So much in verse, and now I'll change my style, And seriously I'll write in prose awhile. To the purpose then : my first night's lodging in Scotland was at a place called Moffat, which they say, is thirty miles from Carlisle, but I suppose them to be longer than forty of such miles as are betwixt London and Saint Albans, (but indeed the Scots do allow almost as large measure of their miles, as they do of their drink, for an English gallon either of ale or wine, is but their quart, and one Scottish mile (now and then, may well stand for a mile and a half or two English) but howsoever short or long, I found that day's journey the weariest that ever I footed ; and at night, being come to the town, I found good ordinary country entertainment : my fare and my lodging was sweet and good, and might have served a far better man than myself, although myself have had many times better : but this is to be noted, that though it rained not all the day, yet it was my fortune to be well wet twice, for I waded over a great river called Esk in the morning, somewhat more than four miles distance from Carlisle in England, and at night within two miles of my Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 27 lodging, I was fain to wade over the river of Annan in Scotland, from which river the county of Annan- dale, hath its name. And whilst I waded on foot, my man was mounted on horseback, like the George without the Dragon. But the next morning, I arose and left Moffat behind me, and that day I travelled twenty-one miles to a sorry village called Blythe, but I was blithe myself to come to any place of harbour or succour, for since I was born, I never was so weary, or so near being dead with extreme travel : I was foundered and refoundered of all four, and for my better comfort, I came so late, that I must lodge without doors all night, or else in a poor house where the good wife lay in child-bed, her husband being from home, her own servant maid being her nurse. A creature naturally compacted, and artificially adorned with an incomparable homeliness : but as things were I must either take or leave, and necessity made me enter, where we got eggs and ale by measure and by tail. At last to bed I went, my man lying on the floor by me, where in the night there were pigeons did very bountifully mute in his face : the day being no sooner come, and having but fifteen miles to Edinbitrgh, mounted upon my ten toes, and began first to hobble, and after to amble, and so being warm, I fell to pace by degrees ; all the way passing through a fertile country for corn and cattle : and about two of the clock in the 28 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage, afternoon that Wednesday, being the thirteenth of August, and the day of Clare the Virgin (the sign being in Virgo ) the moon four days old, the wind at west, I came to take rest, at the wished, long ex- pected, ancient famous city of Edinburgh, which I entered like Pierce Penniless,^ altogether moneyless, but I thank God, not friendless ; for being there, for the time of my stay, I might borrow, (if any man would lend) spend if I could get, beg if I had the impudence, and steal, if I durst adventure the price of a hanging, but my purpose was to house my horse, and to suffer him and my apparel to lie in durance, or lavender instead of litter, till such time as I could meet with some valiant friend, that would desperately disburse. Walking thus down the street, (my body being tired with travel, and my mind attired with moody, muddy, Moor-ditch melancholy) my contemplation did devotely pray, that I might meet one or other to prey upon, being willing to take any slender acquaintance of any map whatsoever, viewing, and circumviewing every man's face I met, as if I meant to draw his picture, but all my acquaintance was Non est invenhts, (pardon me, reader, that Latin is none of my own, I swear by P^nscians Pericranittvt, an oath which I have ignorantly broken many times.) ^Pierce Penniless, by Thomas Nash. London, 1^92, Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 29 At last I resolved, that the next gentleman that I meet withal, should be acquaintance whether he would or no : and presently fixing mine eyes upon a gentleman-like object, I looked on him, as if I would survey something through him, and make him my perspective : and he much musing at my gazing, and I much gazing at his musing, at last he crossed the way and made toward me, and then I made down the street from him, leaving to encounter with any man, who came after me leading my horse, whom he thus accosted. My friend (quoth he) doth yonder gentleman, (meaning me) know me, that he looks so wistly on me ? Truly sir, said my man, I think not, but my master is a stranger come from London, and would gladly meet some acquaintance to direct him where he may have lodging and horse- meat. Presently the gentleman, (being of a gener- ous disposition) overtook me with unexpected and undeserved courtesy, brought me to a lodging, and caused my horse to be put into his own stable, whilst we discoursing over a pint of Spanish, I relate as much English to him, as made him lend me ten shillings, (his name was Master John Maxwell) which money I am sure was the first that I han- dled after I came from out the walls of London : but having rested two hours and refreshed myself, the gentleman and I walked to see the City and 30 Taylor's Permiless Pilgrimage. the Castle, which as my poor unable and unworthy- pen can, I will truly describe. The Castle on a lofty rock is so strongly grounded, bounded, and founded, that by force of man it can never be confounded ; the foundation and walls are unpenetrable, the rampiers impreg- nable, the bulwarks invincible, no way but one it is or can be possible to be made passable. In a word, I have seen many straits and fortresses, in Germany, the Netherlands, Spain and England, but they must all give place to this unconquered Castle, both for strength and situation. Amongst the many memorable things which I was shewed there, I noted especially a great piece of ordnance of iron, it is not for battery, but it will serve to defend a breach, or to toss balls of wild-fire against any that should assail or assault the Castle ; it lies now dismounted.^ And it is so great within, that it was told me that a child was once gotten there : but I, to make trial crept into it, lying on my back, and I am sure there was room enough and spare for a greater than myself. So leaving the Castle, as it is both defensive against my opposition, and magnific for lodging and receite,'^ I descended lower to the City, wherein I observed the fairest and goodliest street that ever ^This "ordnance of iron" still exists there, and is historically known as **Mons Meg" and popularly as "Long Meg." "Receiti:. — A receptacle. Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 31 mine eyes beheld, for I did never see or hear of a street of that length, (which is half an English mile from the Castle to a fair port which they call the Aether-Bow) and from that port, the street which they call the Kenny-gate is one quarter of a mile more, down to the King's Palace, called Holy -rood- House, the buildings on each side of the way being all of squared stone, five, six, and seven stories high, and many bye-lanes and closes on each side of the way, wherein are gentlemen's houses, much fairer than the buildings in the High Street, for in the High Street the merchants and tradesmen do dwell, but the gentlemen's mansions and goodliest houses are obscurely founded in the aforesaid lanes : the walls are eight or ten foot thick, exceeding strong, not built for a day, a week, or a month, or a year ; but from antiquity to posterity, for many ages ; there I found entertainment beyond my expectation or merit, and there is fish, flesh, bread and fruit, in such variety, that I think I may offenceless call it super- fluity, or satiety. The worst was, that wine and ale was so scarce, and the people there such misers of it, that every night before I went to bed, if any man had asked me a civil question, all the wit in my head could not have made him a sober answer. I was at his Majesty's Palace, a stately and princely seat, wherein I saw a sumptuous chapel, most richly adorned with all appurtenances belong- 32 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. ing to so sacred a place, or so royal an owner. In the inner court I saw the King's arms cunningly carved in stone, and fixed over a door aloft on the wall, the red lion being in the' crest, over which was written this inscription in Latin, Nobis hcBC invicta miserunl, io6 proavi. I enquired what the English of it was ? it was told me as followeth, which I thought worthy to be recorded. 1 06, forefathers have left this to us unconquered. This is a worthy and memorable motto, and I think few kingdoms or none in the world can truly write the like, that notwithstanding so many inroads, incursions, attempts, assaults, civil wars, and foreign hostilities, bloody battles, and mighty foughten fields, that maugre the strength and policy of ene- mies, that royal crown and sceptre hath from one hundred and seven descents, kept still unconquered, and by the power of the King of Kings (through the grace of the Prince of Peace) is now left peacefully to our peaceful king, whom long in blessed peace, the God of peace defend and govern. But once more, a word or two of Edinburgh^ although I have scarcely given it that due which belongs unto it, for their lofty and stately buildings, and for their fair and spacious street, yet my mind persuades me that they in former ages that first founded that city did not so well in that they built it Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage, 33 in so discommodious a place ; for the sea, and all navigable rivers being the chief means for the enriching of towns and cities, by the reason of traffic with foreign nations, with exportation, trans- portation, and receite of variety of merchandizing ; so this city had it been built but one mile lower on the seaside, I doubt not but it had long before this been comparable to many a one of our greatest towns and cities in Europe, both for spaciousness of bounds, port, state, and riches. It is said, that King James the fifth (of famous memory) did graciously offer to purchase for them, and to bestow upon them freely, certain low and pleasant grounds a mile from them on the seashore, with these con- ditions, that they should pull down their city, and build it in that more commodious place, but the citizens refused it ; and so now it is like (for me), to stand where it doth, for I doubt such another proffer of removal will not be presented to them, till two days after the fair. Now have with you for Leith, whereto I no sooner came, but I was well entertained by Master Barnard Lindsay, one of the grooms of his Majesties bed-chamber, he knew my estate was not guilty, because I brought guilt with me (more than my sins, and they would not pass for current there) he therefore did replenish the vaustity * of my empty * Vaustity.— Emptiness. 34 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. purse, and discharged a piece at me with two bullets of gold, each being in value worth eleven shillings white money ; and I was creditably informed, that within the compass of one year, there was shipped away from that only port of Leitky fourscore thousand boles of wheat, oats, and barley into Spain, France, and other foreign parts, and every bole contains the measure of four English bushels, so that from Leith only hath been transported three hundred and twenty thousand bushels of corn ; besides some hath been shipped away from Saint Andrews, from Dundee, Aberdeen, Dysarl, Kirkaldy, Kinghorn, Burntisland, Dunbar, and other portable towns, which makes me to wonder that a kingdom so populous as it is, should nevertheless sell so much bread-corn beyond the seas, and yet to have more than sufficient for them- selves. So I having viewed the haven and town of Leith, took a passage boat to see the new wondrous Well,"^' to which many a one that is not well, comes far and near in hope to be made well : indeed I did hear that it had done much good, and that it hath a rare operation to expel or kill divers maladies; as to provoke appetite, to help much for the avoid- ing of the gravel in the bladder, to cure sore eyes, and old ulcers, with many other virtues which it hath, but I (through the mercy of God, having no *See Anderson's The Cold Spring of Kinghorn Craig, Edinb. i6l8. Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 35 need of it, did make no great inquisition what it had done, but for novelty I drank of it, and I found the taste to be more pleasant than any other water, sweet almost as milk, yet as clear as crystal, and I did observe that though a man did drink a quart, a pottle, or as much as his belly could contain, yet it never offended or lay heavy upon the stomach, no more than if one had drank but a pint or a small quantity. I went two miles from it to a town called Burntisland, where I found many of my especial good friends, as Master Robert Hay, one of the Grooms of his Majesty's Bed-chamber, yi2jsx^x David Drummond, one of his Gentlemens-Pensioners, Master James Acmootye, one of the Grooms of the Privy Chamber, Captain Murray, Sir Henry Wither- ington Knight, Captain Tyrie, and divers others : and there Master Hay, Master Dricmmond, and the good old Captain Murray did very bountifully fur- nish me with gold for my expenses, but I being at dinner with those aforesaid gentlemen, as we were discoursing, there befel a strange accident, which I think worth the relating. I know not upon what occasion they began to talk of being at sea in former times, and I (amongst the rest) said, I was at the taking of Cadiz ; whereto an English gentleman replied, that he was the next good voyage after at the Islands : I answered him 36 Taylor^s Penniless Pilgrimage. that I was there also. He demanded in what ship I was ? I told him in the Rainbow of the Queens : why (quoth he) do you not know me ? I was in the same ship, and my name is Witherington. Sir, said I, I do remember the name well, but by reason that it is near two and twenty years since I saw you, I may well forget the knowledge of you. Well said he, if you were in that ship, I pray you tell me some remarkable token that happened in the voyage, whereupon I told him two or three tokens ; which he did know to be true. Nay then, said I, I will tell you another which (perhaps) you have not forgotton ; as our ship and the rest of the fleet did ride at anchor at the Isle of Flores (one of the Isles of the Azores) there were some fourteen men and boys of our ship, that for novelty would go ashore, and see what fruit the island did bear, and what entertainment it would yield us ; so being landed, we went up and down and could find nothing but stones, heath and moss, and we expected oranges, lemons, figs, musk- mellions,and potatoes ; in the mean space the wind did blow so stiff, and the sea was so extreme rough, that our ship-boat could not come to the land to fetch us, for fear she should be beaten in pieces against the rocks ; this continued five days, so that we were almost famished for want of food : but at last (I squandering up and down) by the providence Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage, 37 of God I happened into a cave or poor habitation, where I found fifteen loaves of bread, each of the quantity of a penny loaf in England, I having a valiant stomach of the age of almost of a hundred and twenty hours breeding, fell to, and ate two loaves and never said grace : and as I was about to make a horse-loaf of the third loaf, I did put twelve of them into my breeches, and my sleeves, and so went mumbling out of the cave, leaning my back against a tree, when upon the sudden a gentleman came to me, and said, Friend, what are you eating ? Bread, (quoth I,) For God's sake, said he, give me some. With that, I put my hand into my breech, (being my best pantry) and I gave him a loaf, which he received with many thanks, and said, that if ever he could requit it, he would. I had no sooner told this tale, but Sir Henry Witherington did acknowledge himself to be the man that I had given the loaf unto two and twenty years before, where I found the proverb true, that men have more privilege than mountains in meeting. In what great measure he did requite so small a courtesy, I will relate in this following discourse in my return through Northumberland : so leaving my man at the town of Burntisland, I told him, I would but go to Stirling, and see the Castle there, and withal to see my honourable friends the Earl of 38 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. Mar, and Sir William Murray Knight, Lord of Abercair7iey, and that I would return within two days at the most : but it fell out quite contrary ; for it was and five and thirty days before I could get back again out of these noble men's company. The whole progress of my travel with them, and the cause of my stay I cannot with gratefulness omit ; and thus it was. A worthy gentleman named Master John Feiiton, did bring me on my way six miles to Dunfermline, where I was well entertained, and lodged at Master John Gibb his house, one of the Grooms of his Majesty's Bed-chamber, and I think the oldest servant the King hath : withal, I was well enter- tained there by Master Crighton at his own house, who went with me, and shewed me the Queens Palace ; (a delicate and Princely Mansion) withal I saw the ruins of an ancient and stately built Abbey, with fair gardens, orchards, meadows belonging to the Palace : all which with fair and goodly revenues by the suppression of the Abbey, were annexed to the crown. There also I saw a very fair church, which though it be now very large and spacious, yet it hath in former times been much larger. But I taking my leave of Dunfermline, would needs go and see the truly noble Knight Sir George Bruce, at a town called the Culross : there he made me right welcome, both with variety of fare, and after Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 39 all, he commanded three of his men to direct me to see his most admirable coal mines ; which (if man can or could work wonders) is a wonder ; for myself neither in any travels that I have been in, nor any history that I have read, or any discourse that I have heard, did never see, read, or hear of any work of man that might parallel or be equivalent with this unfellowed and unmatchable work : and though all I can say of it, cannot describe it according to the worthiness of his vigilant industry, that was both the occasion, inventor, and maintainer of it : yet rather than the memory of so rare an enter- prise, and so accomplished a profit to the common- wealth shall be raked and smothered in the dust of oblivion, I will give a little touch at the description ot it, although I amongst writers, am like he that worse may hold the candle. The mine hath two ways into it, the one by sea and the other by land ; but a man may go into it by land, and return the same way if he please, and so he may enter into it by sea, and by sea he may come forth of it : but I for varietys sake went in by sea, and out by land. Now men may object, how can a man go into a mine, the entrance of it being into the sea, but that the sea will follow him, and so drown the mine? To which objection thus I answer, that at low water mark, the sea being ebbed away, and a great part of the sand bare ; upon this 40 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. same sand (being mixed with rocks and crags) did the master of this great work build a round circular frame of stone, very thick, strong, and joined together with glutinous or bituminous matter, so high withal that the sea at the highest flood, or the greatest rage of storm or tempest, can neither dis- solve the stones so well compacted in the building or yet overflow the height of it. Within this round frame, (at all adventures) he did set workmen to dig with mattocks, pickaxes, and other instruments fit for such purposes. They did dig forty feet down right into and through a rock. At last they found that which they expected, which was sea coal, they following the vein of the mine, did dig forward still : so that in the space of eight and twenty, or nine and twenty years, they have digged more than an English mile under the sea, so that when men are at work below, an hundred of the greatest ships in Britaiji man sail over their heads. Besides, the mine is most artificially cut like an arch or a vault, all that great length, with many nooks and bye- ways : and it is so made, that a man may walk upright in the most places, both in and out. Many poor people are there set on work, which other- wise through the want of employment would perish. But when I had seen the mine, and was come forth of it again ; after my thanks given to Sir George Bruce^ I told him, that if the plotters of the Taylor's Pemtiless Pilgrimage. 41 Powder Treason in England had seen this mine, that they (perhaps) would have attempted to have left the Parliament House, and have undermined the Thames, and so to have blown up the barges and wherries, wherein the King, and all the estates of our kingdom were. Moreover, I said, that I could afford to turn tapster at London, so that I had but one quarter of a mile of his mine to make me a cellar, to keep beer and bottled ale in. But leaving these jests in prose, I will relate a few verses that I made merrily of this mine. THAT have wasted, months, weeks, days, and hours In viewing kingdoms, countries, towns, and towers. Without all measure, measuring many paces, And with my pen describing many places. With few additions of mine own devising, (Because I have a smack of Coryatizing^) ^CoRYATiziNG.— Thomas Coryate, an English traveller, who called him- self the "Odcombian leg-stretcher." He was the son of the rector of Odcombe, and in 161 1 published an account of his travels on the Continent with the singular title of Coryates Crudities. Hastily gobled up in five Moneths travells in France, Savoy, Italy, Rhetia, commonly called the Orisons country, Helvetia, alias Switzerland, some parts of high Germany, and the 42 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. Our Mandeville, Primaleon^ Don Quixote, Great Amadis, or Huon, travelled not As I have done, or been where I have been, Or heard and seen, what I have heard and seen ; Nor Britain's Odcombe (Zany brave Ulysses) In all his ambling, saw the like as this is. I was in (would I could describe it well) A dark, light, pleasant, profitable hell, And as by water I was wafted in, I thought that I in Charon's boat had been, But being at the entrance landed thus, Three men there (instead of Cerberus) Convey'd me in, in each one hand a light To guide us in that vault of endless night, There young and old with glim'ring candles burning Dig, delve, and labour, turning and returning, Some in a hole with baskets and with bags, Resembling furies, or infernal hags : There one like Tantalus feeding, and there one. Like Sisyphtis he rolls the restless stone. Yet all I saw was pleasure mixed with profit, Which proved it to be no tormenting Tophet^ :* Netherlands ; Newly digested in the hungary aire of Odcombe in the county of Somerset, and now dispersed to the nourishment of the travelling members of this Kingdome, &c. London, printed by W. S., Anno Domini 1611." Taylor had an especial grudge against Coryat, for having had influence enough to procure his "Laugh and be Fat" — directed against the traveller — to be burned ; and that he never failed to " feed fat the ancient grudge," may be seen in the many pieces of ridicule levelled at the author of the "Crudities," even after his death. *ToPHET. — The Hebrew name for TIelJ, Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 43 For in this honest, worthy, harmless hell. There ne'er did any damned Devil dwell ; And th' owner of it gains by 't more true glory, Than Rome doth by fantastic Purgatory. A long mile thus I passed, down, down, steep, steep, In deepness far more deep, than Nephmes deep, Whilst o'er my head (in fourfold stories high) Was earth, and sea, and air, and sun, and sky : That had I died in that Cimmerian)' room. Four elements had covered o'er my tomb : Thus farther than the bottom did I go, (And many Englishmen have not done so ;) Where mounting porpoises, and mountain whales. And regiments of fish with fins and scales, 'Twixt me and heaven did freely glide and slide. And where great ships may at an anchor ride : Thus in by sea, and out by land I past, And took my leave of good Sir George at last. The sea at certain places doth leak, or soak into the mine, which by the industry of Sir George Bruce, is all conveyed to one well near the land ; where he hath a device like a horse-mill, that with three horses and a great chain of iron, going down- ward many fathoms, with thirty-six buckets fastened ^Cimmerian. — Pertaining to the Cimmerii, or their country ; extremely and perpetually dark. The Cimmerii were an ancient people of the land now called the Crimea, and their country being subject to heavy fogs, was fabled to be involved in deep and continual obscurity. Ancient poets also mention a people of this name who dwelt in a valley near Lake Avernus, in Italy, which the sun was said never to visit. 44 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. to the chain, of the which eighteen go down still to be filled, and eighteen ascend up to be emptied, which do empty themselves (without any man's labour) into a trough that conveys the water into the sea again ; by which means he saves his mine, which otherwise would be destroyed with the sea, besides he doth make every week ninety or a hundred tons of salt, which doth serve most part of Scotland, some he sends into England, and very much into Germany, all which shows the painful industry with God's blessings to such worthy endea- vours : I must with many thanks remember his courtesy to me, and lastly how he sent his man to guide me ten miles on the way to Stirling, where by the way I saw the outside of a fair and stately house called Allaway, belonging to the Earl of Mar which by reason that his honour was not there, I past by and went to Stirling, where I was enter- tained and lodged at one Master John Archibalds, where all my want was that I wanted room to contain half the good cheer that I might have had there ! he had me into the castle, which in few words I do compare to Windsor for situation, much more than Windsor in strength, and some- what less in greatness : yet I dare affirm that his Majesty hath not such another hall to any house that he hath neither in England or Scotland, except Westminster Hall which is now no dwelling hall Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage, 45 for a prince, being long since metamorphosed into a house for the law and the profits. This goodly hall was built by King James the fourth, that married King Henry the Eight's sister, and after was slain at Flodden field ; but it surpasses all the halls for dwelling houses that ever I saw, for length, breadth, height and strength of building, the castle is built upon a rock very lofty, and much beyond Edinburgh Castle in state and magnificence, and not much inferior to it in strength, the rooms of it are lofty, with carved works on the ceilings, the doors of each room being so high, that a man may ride upright on horseback into any chamber or lodging. There is also a goodly fair chapel, with cellars, stables, and all other necessary offices, all very stately and befitting the majesty of a king. From Stirling I rode to Saint Johnstone} a fine town it is, but it is much decayed, by reason of the want of his Majesty's yearly coming to lodge there. There I lodged one night at an inn, the goodman of the house his name being Patrick Pitcairne, where my entertainment was with good cheer, good lodging, all too good to a bad weary guest. Mine host told me that the Earl of Mar, and Sir William Murray of Abercairney ^^yq gon^ to the great hunting to the Brae of Mar'^ ; but if ^Perth. "Braemar, 46 Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage, I made haste I might perhaps find them at a town called Brekin, or Brechin, two and thirty miles from Saint Johnstone whereupon I took a guide to Brechin the next day, but before I came, my lord was gone frona thence four days. Then I took another guide, which brought me such strange ways over mountains and rocks, that I think my horse never went the like ; and I am sure I never saw any ways that might fellow them I did go through a country called Glen Esk, where passing by the side of a hill, so steep as the ridge of a house, where the way was rocky, and not above a yard broad in some places, so fearful and horrid it was to look down into the bottom, for if either horse or man had slipped, he had fallen without recovery) a good mile downright ; but I thank God, at night I came to a lodging in the Laird of EdzelVs land, where I lay at an Irish house, the folks not being able to speak scarce any English, but I supped and went to bed, where I had not laid long, but I was enforced to rise, I was so stung with Irish musquitoes, a creature that hath six legs, and lives like a monster altogether upon man's flesh, they do inhabit and breed most in sluttish houses, and this house was none of the cleanest, the beast is much like a louse in England, both in shape and nature ; in a word, they were to me the A, and the Z. the prologue and the epilogue, the Taylor's Penniless Pilgrimage. 47 first and the last that I had in all my travels from Edinburgh; and had not this Highland Irish house helped me at a pinch, I should have sworn that all Scotland had not been so kind as to have bestowed a louse upon me : but with a shift that I had, I shifted off my cannibals, and was never more troubled with them. The next day I travelled over an exceeding high mountain, called mount Skene, where I found the valley very warm before I went up it; but when I came to the top of it, my teeth began to dance in my head with cold, like Virginal's jacks;'" and withal, a most familiar mist embraced me round, that I could not see thrice my length any way : withal, it yielded so friendly a dew, that did moisten through all my clothes : where the old Proverb of a Scottish mist was verified, in wetting me to the skin. Up and down, I think this hill is six miles, the way so uneven, stony, and full of bogs, quag- mires, and long heath, that a dog with three legs will out-run a horse with four ; for do what we could, we were four hours before we could pass it. Thus with extreme travel, ascending and des- cending, mounting and alighting, I came at night to the place where I would be, in the Brae of Mar, which is a large county, all composed of such mountains, that Shooter s Hill, Gad's Hill, Highgate *ViRGiNAL Jack. — A keyed instrument resembling a spinet. 4o Taylor's Pefiniless Pilgrimage. Hill, Hampstead Hill, Birdlip Hill, or Malvern s Hills, are but mole-hills in comparison, or like a liver, or a gizard under a capon's wing, in respect of the altitude of their tops, or perpendicularity of their bottoms. There I saw Mount Ben Aven, with a furred mist upon his snowy head instead of a night- cap : (for you must understand, that the oldest man alive never saw but the snow was on the top of divers of those hills, both in summer, as well as in winter.) There did I find the truly Noble and Right Honourable Lords John Erskine Earl of Mar, James Stuart Earl of Murray, George Gordon Earl of Enzie, son and heir to the Marquess of Huntly, James Erskine Earl of Buchan, and John Lord Erskine, son and heir to the Earl of Mar, and their Countesses, with my much honoured, and my best assured and approved friend. Sir William Murray Knight, of Abercairney, and hundred of others Knights, Esquires, and their fol- lowers ; all and every man in general in one habit, as if Lycurgus had been there, and made laws of equality : for once in the year, which is the whole month of August, and sometimes part of September, many of the nobility and gentry of the kingdom (for their pleasure) do come into these Highland Countries to hunt, where they do conform themselves to the habit of the Highland men, who for the most part speak nothing but Irish; Taylors Penniless Pilgrimage, 49 and in former time were those people which were called the Redshanks) Their habit is shoes with but one sole apiece ; stockings (which they call short hose) made of a warm stuff of divers colours, which they call tartan : as for breeches, many of them, nor their forefathers never wore any, but a jerkin of the same stuff that their hose is of, their garters being bands or wreaths of hay or straw, with a plaid about their shoulders, which is a mantle of divers colours, of much finer and lighter stuff than their hose, with blue flat caps on their heads, a handkerchief knit with two knots about their neck ; and thus are they attired. Now their weapons are long bows and forked arrows, swords and targets, harquebusses, muskets, dirks, and Lochaber axes. With these arms I found many of them armed for the hunting. As for their attire, any man of what degree soever that comes amongst them, must not disdain to wear it ; for if they do, then they will disdain to hunt, or willingly to bring in their dogs : but if men be kind unto them, and be in their habit ; then are they conquered with kindness, and the sport will be plentiful. This was the reason that I found so *Red-shanks. — A contemptuous appellation for Scottish Highland clansmen and native Irish, with reference to their naked hirsute limbs, and " As lively as a Red- Shank'''' is still a proverbial saying : — "And we came into Ireland, where they would have landed in the north parts. But I would not, because there the inhabitants were all Iled-slianhs.'^ — Sir Walter Maleigli's Speech on the Scaffold. 50 Taylors Penniless Pilgrimage. many noblemen and gentlemen in those shapes. But to proceed to the hunting. My good Lord of Mar having put me into that shape,^ I rode with him from his house, where I saw the ruins of an old castle, called the castle of Kindroghit [Castletown]. It was built by King Mal- cohn Caninore (for a hunting house) who reigned in Scotland when Edward the Confessor, Harold, and Norman William r€\ut yourselves out of a bad number amongst which you yet are placed : if yott wilt not pay me, take this bone to gnaw ttpon, that I do hope to be ever better furnished with money, than you shall be with honesty. The Why and the Wherefore. Ix A Table of the General Heads, containing seven parts. IHOSE that have paid. Those that would pay if they could. Those that walk invisible, and are not to be found. 4 Those that say they will pay, who knows when ? 5 Those that are dead. 6 Those that are fled. 7 Those roarers that can pay, and will not. Those that do ever mean to pay, Nothing at all this book doth say ; To such my satire talketh still As have not paid, nor ever will. A KICKSEY WINSEY: OR, A LERRY COME-TWANG; Wherein John Taylor hath satirically suited 800 of his bad debtors, that will not pay him for his return of his Journey from Scotland, I. My thanks to those that have paid. 5^^pOU worthy worthies, of that liberal tribe, Who freely gave your words, or did subscribe : And were not itched with the vain- glorious worm, To write and lie, but promise and perform, Black swans of Britain, I protest you are, And seem (to me) each one a blazing star ; For this inconstant age so few affords Of men, whose deeds do counterpoise their words, That finding one, methinks I see a wonder, More than December's fruit, or winter's thunder ; 2 A KiCKSEY Winsey; or, Ingratitude, I hold a vice so vile, That I could ne'er endure it a breathing while : And therefore ere I'll prove a thankless jade, Time in his course shall run quite retrograde ; Yea, everything shall hate his proper kind. Before I'll harbour an ungrateful mind : And still I vow to quit you in some part, With my best wishes, and a thankful heart : So much to you, my Muse hath sung or said. Whose loving bounties hath the sculler paid. 2. Those that wotdd pay if they could, N D as for you that would pay if you could, I thank you, though you do not as you should. You promised fair, and wrote as free as any, But time hath altered since, the case with many ; Your monies, like low tides, are ebbed too low, And when, 'tis lowest, 'twill begin to flow. To seek a breech from breechless men, 'twere vain, And fruitless labour would requit my pain : It were no charity (as I suppose) To bid one wipe his nose, that wants a nose ; And sure my conscience would be less than little. To enrich myself, by robbing of the spittle : No, honest friends (to end this vain dispute) Your barren states may spring, and bring forth fruit ; A Lerry Come-Twang. 3 Your wills are good, and whilst I keep your bills, Instead of payment I accept good wills ; On hope and expectation I will feed. And take your good endeavours for the deed ; Praying that crosses in your minds may cease, And crosses in your purses may increase. 3. Those that are hard for me to find, and being found, were better lost. N OTHER sort of debtors are behind, Some I know not, and some I cannot find : And some of them lie here and there, by spirts. Shifting their lodgings oftener than their shirts. Perchance I hear where one of these men lies, And in the morning up betimes I rise. And find in Shoreditch where he lodged a night ; But he to Westminster hath ta'en his flight. Some two days after thither do I trot, And find his lodging, but yet find him not, For he the night before (as people tell) Hath ta'en a chamber about Clerkenwell, Thither go I, and make a privy search. Whilst he's in Southwark, near St. Georges Church. A pox upon him, all this while think I, Shall I ne'er find out where my youth doth lie ? 4 A KiCKSEY Winsey; or, And having sought him many a weary bout, At last, perhaps I find his chamber out : But then the gentleman is fast in bed. And rest hath seized upon his running head : He hath took cold with going late by water. Or sat up late at ace, dense, tray, and cater [quatre] That with a sink [cinq] of fifty pieces price, He sleeps till noon before his worship rise ; At last he wakes ; his man informs him straight, That I at door do on his pleasure wait ; Perhaps I am requested to come near, And drink a cup of either ale or beer, Whilst sucking English fire, and Indian vapour. At last I greet him with my bill of paper : Well John (quoth he) this hand I know is mine, But I this day do purpose to go dine At the Half Moon^ in Milk- street, prithee come, And there we'll drink, and pay this petty sum. Thus many a street by me recrossed and crossed, I in and out, and too and fro, am tossed, And spend my time and coin to find one out, Which having found, rewards me with a flout. In this base fashion, or such like as this. To me their scurvey daily dealing is ; ^The Half-Moon. — During a long series of years the Half-Moon Tavern maintained a distinguished notoriety, and is historically recorded as the scene of many public city events, Half-Moon passage, leading from Cheap- side to the Tavern, is new named Cooper's-alley. A Lerry Come-Twang. 5 As one's in study, the other s deep in talk, Another's in his garden gone to walk : One's in the barber's suds, and cannot see, Till chin and chaps are made a Roman T : And for his making thus a gull of me, I wish his cut may be the Grecian P. |"|''' These men can kiss their claws, with Jack, how is't ? And take and shake me kindly by the fist, And put me off with dilatory cogs. And swear and lie, worse than so many dogs, Protesting they are glad I am returned, When they'd be gladder I were hanged or burned. Some of their pockets are oft stored with chink. Which they had rather waste on drabs, dice, drink. Than a small petty sum to me to pay, Although I meet them every other day ; For which to ease my mind to their disgrace, I must (perforce) in print proclaim them base ; And if they pay me not (unto their shames) I'll print their trades, their dwellings, and their names, That boys shall hiss them as they walk along. Whilst they shall stink, and do their breeches wrong : Pay then, delay not, but with speed disburse, Or if you will, try but who '11 have the worse. *This cut (the Greek P) probably symbolical of a gallows. 6 A K1CKSF.Y Winsey; or, 4. Those that will and do daily pay me in drink and smoke. FOURTH crew I must drop from out my quill, Are some that have not paid, yet say they will : And their remembrance gives my muddy mood, More joy than of those that will ne'er be good. These fellows my sharp Muse shall lash but soft, Because I meet them to their charges oft. Where at the tavern (with free frolic hearts) They welcome me with pottles, pints, and quarts ; And they (at times) will spend like honest men, Twelve shillings, rather than pay five or tan. These I do never seek from place to place. These make me not to run the wild goose chase ; These do from day to day not put me off, And in the end reward me with a scoff. And for their kindness, let them take their leisure, To pay or not pay, let them take their pleasure. Let them no worser than they are, still prove : Their powers may chance outdo me, not their love ; I meet them to my peril, and their cost, And so in time there's little will be lost, A Lerry Come-Twang. 7 Yet the old proverb I would have them know, The horse may starve the whilst the grass doth grow. 5. Those that are dead. FIFTH sort (God be with them) they are dead, And everyone my quittance under's head : To ask them coin, I know they have it not, And where nought is, there's nothing to be got, ril never wrong them with invective lines. Nor trouble their good heirs, or their assigns. And some of them, their lives lost to me were, In a large measure of true sorrow dear ; As one brave lawyer, whose true honest spirit Doth with the blest celestial souls inherit, He whose grave wisdom gained pre-eminence. To grace and favour with his gracious prince : Adorned with learning, loved, approved, admired. He, my true friend, too soon to dust retired. Besides, a number of my worthy friends •(To my great loss) death brought unto their ends. Rest, gentle spirits, rest, with eternizing. And may your corpse have all a joyful rising : There's many living, every day I see, Who are more dead than you in pay to me. 8 A KiCKSEY Winsey; or, 6. Those that are fled. SIXTH, with tongues glib, like the tails of eels. Hath shewed this land and me foul pairs of heels. To Ireland, Belgia, Germany, and France, They are retired to seek some better chance. 'Twas their unhappy inauspicious fate. The Counters, or King Luds unlucky gate;^ Bonds being broke, the stones in every street. They durst not tread on, lest they burnt their feet ; Smoke by the pipe, and ginger by the race, They loved with ale, but never loved the mace. And these men's honesties are like their states, At piteous, woeful, and at low prized rates ; For partly they did know when they did take My books, they could no satisfaction make. And honesty this document doth teach. That man shall never strive above his reach. Yet have they reached, and over-reached me still. To do themselves no good, and me much ill. But, farewell, friends, if you again do come. And pay me either all, or none, or some : ^The Counters, or King Lud's Unlucky Gate. — City prisons. There were two Counters, or Compters ; one in Wood-street, under the control of one of the Sheriffs ; the other in the Poultry, under the superintendence of the other. Ludgate was also a prison for debtors. A Lerry Come-Twang. 9 I look for none, and therefore still delay me, You only do deceive me, if you pay me. Yet that deceit from you were but my due, But I look ne'er to be deceived by you. Your stocks are poor, your creditors are store, Which God increase, and decrease, I implore. 7. Those that are as far from honesty, as a Turk is from true Religion, EVENTHLY, and last's a worthy worthless crew. Such as heaven hates, and hell on earth doth spew, And God renounce, and damn them, are their prayers, Yet some of these sweet youths are good men's heirs But up most tenderly they have been brought, And all their breeding better fed than taught : And now their lives float in damnation's stream, To stab, drab, kill, swill, tear, swear, stare, blaspheme : In imitation worse than devil's apes. Or incubuses thrust in human shapes : As bladders full of other's wind is blown. So self-conceit doth puff them of their own : lo A KicKSEY Winsey; or, They deem their wit all other men surpasses, And other men esteem them witless asses. These puckfist^ cockbrained coxcombs, shallow pated, Are things that by their tailors are created ; For they before were simple shapeless worms, Until their makers licked them into forms. 'Tis ignorant idolatry most base. To worship satin Satan, or gold lace, T'adore a velvet varlet, whose repute Stinks odious, but for his perfumed suit. If one of these to serve some Lord doth get, His first task is to swear himself in debt : And having pawned his soul to hell for oaths, He pawns those oaths for newfound fashion clothes. His carcase cased in this borrowed case, Imagines he doth me exceeding grace : If when I meet him, he bestows a nod, Then must I think me highly blest of God, And though no wiser than flat fools they be, A good luck on them, they are too wise for me ; They with a courtly trick or a flim-flam. Do nod at me, whilst I the noddy am : One part of gentry they will ne'er forget, And that is, that they ne'er wilFpay their debt. *PUCKFIST. — The puff-ball, or fungiis ; an empty boasting fellow. A Lerry Come-Twang. To take, and to receive, they hold it fit. But to requite, or to restore's no wit. And let them take and keep, but knocks, and pox, And all diseases from Pandoras box. And which of them says that I rave or rail, Let him but pay, and bid me kiss his T. But sure the devil hath taught them many a trick, Beyond the numbering of arithmetic. I meet one, thinking for my due to speak, He with evasions doth my purpose break. And asks what news I hear from France or Spain, Or where I was in the last shower of rain ; Or when the court removes, or what's a clock. Or where's the wind (or some such windy mock) With such fine scimble, scemble, spitter-spatter, As puts me clean besides the money-matter ? Thus with poor mongrel shifts, with what, where when ? I am abused by these things, like men. And some of them do glory in my want, They being Romists, I a Protestant : Their apostatical injunction saith, To keep their faith with me, is breach of faith : For 'tis a maxim of such Catholics, 'Tis meritorious to plague heretics ; Since it is so, pray pay me but my due, And I will love the cross as well as you. And this much further I would have you know, 12 A KiCKSEY Winsey; or, My shame is more to ask, than yours to owe : I beg of no man, 'tis my own I crave, Nor do I seek it but of them that have. There's no man was enforced against his will. To give his word, or sign unto my bill. And is't not shame, nay, more than shame to hear, That I should be returned above a year, And many rich men's words, and bills have passed, And took of me both books, both first and last, Whilst twice or thrice a week, in every street, I meet those men, and not my money meet. Were they not able me amends to make, My conscience then would sooner give than take : But most of those I mean, are full pursed hinds. Being beggarly in nothing but their minds : Yet sure methinks, if they would do me right. Their minds should be as free to pay, as write. Near threescore pounds, the books I'm sure did cost. Which they have had from me, and I think lost : And had not these men's tongues so forward been, Ere I my painful journey did begin, I could have had good men in meaner raiment. That long ere this, had made me better payment : I made my journey for no other ends, But to get money, and to try my friends : And not a friend I had, for worth or wit Did take my book, or pass his word, or writ : But I (with thankfulness) still understood A Lerry Come- Twang. 13 They took, in hope to give, and do me good. They took a book worth 1 2 pence, and were bound To give a crown, an angel, or a pound, A noble, piece, or half piece, what they list. They passed their words, or freely set their hst. Thus got I sixteen hundred hands and fifty, Which sum I did suppose was somewhat thrifty ; And now my youths, with shifts, and tricks, and cavils, Above eight hundred, play the sharking javels. I have performed what I undertook, And that they should keep touch with me I look. Four thousand, and five hundred books I gave To many an honest man, and many a knave : Which books, and my expense to give them out, (A long year seeking this confused rout) I'm sure it cost me sevenscore pounds and more, With some suspicion that I went on score. Besides, above a thousand miles I went, And (though no money) yet much time I spent ; Taking excessive labour, and great pains, In heat, cold, wet, and dry, with feet and brains : With tedious toil, making my heart-strings ache, In hope I should content both give and take. And in requital now, for all my pain, I give content still, and get none again. « None, did I say ? I'll call that word agen, I meet with some that pay me now and then, A Kicksey-Winsey; or But such a toil I have those men to seek, And find (perhaps) 2, 3, or 4 a week, That too too oft, .my losings gettings be, To spend 5 crowns in gathering in of three. And thus much to the world I dare avow, That my oft walks to get my money now, With my expenses, seeking of the same. Returning many a night home, tired and lame, Meeting some thirty, forty in a day, That sees me, knows me, owes me, yet none pay. Used and abused thus, both in town and court, It makes me think my Scottish walk a sport ; I muse of what stuff these men framed be, Most of them seem mockado unto me,^ Some are stand-further off, for they endeavour, Never to see me, or to pay me never. When first I saw them, they appeared rash, And now their promises are worse than trash ; No taffety^ more changeable than they, In nothing constant, but no debts to pay. And therefore let them take it as they will, I'll canvas them a little with my quill. To all the world I humbly do appeal, And let it judge, if well these men do deal, ^Mockado. — A kind of woollen stuff, made in imitation of velvet, sometimes called mock-velvet. -Taffety. — A fine smooth stuff of silk, having a wavy and variegs lustre imparted to it by pressure and heat. A Lerry Come- Twang. 15 Or whether for their baseness, 'twere not fitter, That I should use more gall, and write more bitter ? I wrote this book before, but for this end, To warn them, and their faults to reprehend ; But if this warning will not serve the turn, I swear by sweet Satiric Nash his urn, On every pissing post, their names I'll place Whilst they past shame, shall shame to show their face, ril hail fell Nemesis, from Dis his den, To aid and guide my sharp revenging pen ; That fifty Pope's bulls never shall roar louder, Nor fourscore cannons when men fire their powder. There's no wound deeper than a pen can give. It makes men living dead, and dead men live ; It can raise honour drowned in the sea, And blaze it forth in glory, cap-a-pie. Why, it can scale the battlements of heaven. And stellify men 'mongst the planets seven : It can make misers, peasants, knaves and fools. The scorn of goodness, and the devils close stools. Forgot had been the thrice three worthies' names. If thrice three Muses had not writ their fames : And if it not with flattery be infected, Good is by it extolled, and bad corrected. Let judgment judge them what mad men are those That dare against a pen themselves oppose. Which (when it likes) can turn them all to loathing, 1 6 A KicKSEY Winsey; or To anything, to nothing-, worse than nothing, Yet e'er I went, these men to write did Hke, And used a pen more nimbly than a pike ; And writ their names (as I supposed) more willing, Than valiant soldiers with their pikes are drilling, No paper bill of mine had edge upon it, Till they their hands and names had written on it ; And if their judgments be not overseen. They would not fear, the edge is not so keen. Some thousands, and some hundreds by the year Are worth, yet they their piece or half-piece fear ; They on their own bills are afraid to enter, And I upon their pieces dare to venture : But whoso at the bill hath better skill, Give me the piece, and let him take the bill, I have met some that odiously have lied, Who to deceive me, have their names denied. And yet they have good honest Christian names, As Joshua, Richard, Robert, John, and James: To cheat me with base inhumanity. They have denied their Christianity, A half-piece or a crown, or such a sum, Hath forced them falsify their Christendom : Denying good ill names with them agree. And they that have ill names, half hanged be. And sure I think, my loss would be but small, If for a quittance they were hanged up all. Of such I am past hope, and they past grace. A Lerry Come- Twang. 17 And hope and grace both past's, a wretched case, It may be that for my offences passed, God hath upon me this disturbance cast : If it be so, I thank His name therefore, Confessing I deserve ten times much more ; But as the devil is author of all ill. So ill for ill, on th' ill he worketh still ; Himself, his servants, daily lie and lurk, Man's care on earth, or pains in hell to work. See how the case then with my debtors stands : They take the devil's office out of his hands ; Tormenting me on earth, for passed evils. And for the devil, doth vex me worse than devils. In troth 'tis pity, proper men they seem, And those that know them not, would never deem That one of them would basely seem to meddle, To be the devil's hangman, or his beadle. For shame, for honesty, for both, for either. For my deserts desertless, or for neither Discharge yourselves from me, you know wherefore, And never serve or help the devil more. I have heard some that lawyers do condemn. But I still must, and will speak well of them ; Though never in my life they had of me Clerks, Counsellors, or yet Attorneys fee. Yet at my back return, they all concurred. And paid me what was due, and ne'er demurred. Some Counter Serjeants, when I came again, 1 8 A KiCKSEY Winsey; or (Against their natures) dealt like honest men. By wondrous accident perchance one may Grope out a needle in a load of hay : And though a white crow be exceeding rare, A blind man may (by fortune) catch a hare, So may a Serjeant have some honest tricks, If too much knavery doth not overmix. Newgate (the university of stealing) Did deal with me with upright honest dealing, My debtors all (for ought that I can see) Will still remain true debtors unto me ; For if to paying once they should incline, They would not then be debtors long of mine. But this report I fear, they still will have. To be true debtors even to their grave. I know there's many worthy projects done. The which more credit, and more coin have won. And 'tis a shame for those (I dare maintain) That break their words, and not requite their pain : I speak to such, if any such there be. If there be none, would there were none for me. Thus all my debtors have increased my talent, Except the poor, the proud, the base, the gallant. Those that are dead, or fled, or out of town : Such as I know not, nor to them am known. Those that will pay (of which there's some small number) And those that smile to put me to this cumber, A Lerry Come- Twang. 19 In all they are eight hundred and some odd, But when they'll pay me's only known to God. Some crowns, some pounds, some nobles, some a royal, Some good, some naught, some worse, most bad in trial. I, like a boy that shooting with a bow Hath lost his shaft where weeds and bushes grow ; Who having searched, and raked, and scraped, and tost To find his arrow that he late hath lost : At last a crotchet conies into his brain, To stand at his first shooting place again : Then shoots, and lets another arrow fly, Near as he thinks his other shaft may lie : Thus vent'ring, he perhaps finds both or one,'*^ The worst is, if he lose both, he finds none. So I that have of books so many given. To this compared exigent am driven : To shoot this pamphlet, and to ease my mind, To lose more yet, or something lost to find. As many brooks, fords, showers of rain and springs. Unto the Thames their often tribute brings. These subjects paying, not their stocks decrease. Yet by those payments, Thames doth still increase : '^S)ce The Merchant of Venice, act i, sc. i. " In my school days, when I had lost one shaft, I shot his fellow of the self-same flight The self-same way with more advised watch, To find the other forth, and by adventuring both J oft found both." 20 A KiCKSEY WiNSEY, &C. So I that have of debtors such a swarm, Good they might do me, and themselves no harm, Invective Hnes, or words, I write nor say To none but those that can, and will not pay : And whoso pays with good, or with ill will, Is freed from out the compass of my quill. They must not take me for a stupid ass, That I (unfeeling) will let these things pass. If they bear minds to wrong me, let them know, I have a tongue and pen, my wrongs to show ; And be he ne'er so brisk, or neat, or trim. That bids a pish for me, a tush for him ; To me they're rotten trees, with^beauteous rinds, Fair formed caskets of deformed minds. Or like dispersed flocks of scattered sheep, That will no pasture, or decorum keep : Some wildly skipping into unknown grounds, Stray into foreign and forbidden bounds ; Where some through want, some through excess have got The scab, the worm, the murrain, or the rot. But whilst they wander guideless, uncontrolled, I'll do my best to bring them to my fold ; And seeing sheepfold hurdles here are scant, I am enforced to supply that want With railing : and therefore mine own to win, Like rotten forlorn sheep, I'll rail them in. In defence of Adventures upon returns. ORASMUCH as there are many, who - either out of pride, maHce, or igno- rance, do speak harshly, and hardly of me and of divers others, who have attempted and gone dangerous voyages by sea with small wherries or boats, or any other adventure upon any voyage by land, either riding, going, or running, alledging that we do tempt God by undertaking such perilous courses, (which indeed I cannot deny to be true) yet not to extenuate or make my faults less than they are, I will here approve that all men in the world are adventurers 22 A KiCKSEY Winsey; or upon return, and that we do all generally tempt the patience and long suffering of God, as I will make it appear as followeth. Whosoever is an idolator, a superstitious heretic, an odious and frequent swearer, or liar, a griping usurer, or uncharitable extortioner, doth tempt God, adventure their souls, and upon return, lose heaven. Whosoever is a whore-master, doth adventure his health, and wealth, and his returns are endless misery, beggary, and the pox. Whosoever doth contrive, plot, or commit treason, doth adventure his soul to the devil and his body to the hangman. . Whosoever doth marry a young and beautiful maid, doth adventure a great hazard for a blessing or a curse. Whosoever goes a long journey, and leaves his fair wife at home, doth most dangerously adventure for horns, if she be not the honester. He that sets his hand to a bond, or passes his word for another man's debt, doth adventure a great hazard to pay both principle and interest. Probatum est. That pastor who is either negligent or un- charitable in his function, doth adventure more than he will ever recover. A Lerry Come- Twang. 23 A merchant doth adventure ship, and goods, amongst flats, shoals, deeps, pirates, shelves, rocks, gusts, storms, flaws, tempests, mists, fogs, winds, seas, heats, colds, and calms, and all for hope of profit, which often fails. That tradesman that daily trusts more ware than he receives money for, doth adventure for Luds^ate, a breaking, or a cracking of his credit. He or she who are proud either of beauty, riches, wit, learning, strength, or any thing which is tran- sitory, and may be lost, either by fire, water, sickness, death, or any other casualty, do adventure to be accounted vain-glorious, and ridiculous coxcombs. He that puts confidence in drabs, dice, cards, balls, bowls, or any game lawful or unlawful, doth adventure to be laughed at for a fool, or die a beggar unpited. He that eats and drinks till midnight, and fights and brawls till day-light, doth adventure for little rest that night. To conclude, I could name and produce abundance more of adventurers ; but as concerning adventuring any more dangerous voyages to sea, with wherries, or any extraordinary means, I have done my last, only my frailty will now and then provoke me to adventure upon some of those 24 A KiCKSEY Winsey; &c. infirmities or vices, which attend on our mortalities, which I think I shall be free from committing before my • debtors have paid me all my money. • • FINIS, LONDON, Printed by Nicholas Okes, for Matthew Waldank, dwelling at Grayes Inn Gate, 1619. TAYLORS FAREWEL, TO THE TOWER- BOTTLES. Printed at Dort, 1622. THE ARGUMENT. BO U T three httndred and twenty years since^ or thereabouts, (I think in the reign of King Richard the Second) thei^e was a gift given to the Tower, or to the Lieutenants thereof for the time then and for ever being, which gift was two btack Leather Bottles, or Bombards of wine, from every ship that brought wine into the river of Thames ; the which hath so contiiiited until this day, but the merchants finding themselves aggrieved lately, because they thought the Bottles were made bigger than they were formerly wont to be, did wage law with the Lieutenant (^6'^VGervis H el wis by name) in which suit the Lieutenant had been overthrown, but for such witnesses as I found that knew his right for a long time in their own knowledge. But I having had the gathering of these wines for many years, was at last discharged jrom my place because I would not buy it, which because it was never bought or sold before, I would not or durst not venture upon so unhonest a novelty, it being sold indeed at so high a rate, that whoso bought it must pay thrice the value of it: whereupon I took occasion to take leave of the Bottles in this following Poem, in which the reader must be very melancholy, if the reading thereof do not make him very merry. John Tayi^or. TAYLOR'S FAREWELL TO THE TOWER-BOTTLES. 'Y your leave Gentlemen, I'll make some sport, Although I venture half a hanging for 't: But yet I will no peace or manners break For I to none but Leather-bottles speak. No anger spurs me forward, or despite Insomuch plain verse I talk of wrong and right. The loser may speak, when the winner wins, And madly merrily my muse begins. Mad Bedlam Tom, assist me in thy rags. Lend me thy army of foul fiends and hags : Hobgoblins, elves, fair fairies, and foul furies. Let me have twelve gross of infernal juries. With Robin Goodfellow and bloody bone Assist my merry Muse, all, every one. I will not call to the (a) Pegassian nine, In this they shall not aid me in a line : Their favours I'll reserve till fitter time. To grace some better business with my rhyme, 2 Taylor's Farewell to Plain home-spun stuff shall now proceed from me, (h) The pic Much like unto the picture of we (b) three. ture of two i- \ / mrdtooiinl And now I talk of three, just three we are, 071, I do fitly eomparewith Xwo false Black bottles, and myself at jar. the two black ' J J Bottles and j^^^ reader when you read our cause of strife. You'll laugh or else lie down, I'll lay my life. But as remembrance lamely can rehearse. In sport I'll rip the matter up in verse. Yet first here down I think it fit to set By what means first, I with those Bottles met. Then stroke your beard my masters and give ear, I was a waterman twice four long year, And lived in a contented happy state. • Then turn'd the whirling wheel of fickle Fate, From water unto wine : Sir William Waad Did freely, and for nothing turn my trade. Ten years almost the place I did retain, ^illfotti^ ^"^^ (^) glea^i^'*^ gx^2X Bacchus blood from France quantity six and Spain, gallons from , . . Z?bfXht Few ships my visitation did escape, Hver 0/ That brought the sprightful liquor of the grape : Thames. - - . - My Botdes and myself did oft agree. Full to the top all merry came We three. (d)The wines . cont^nZiiy ^ always 'twas my chance in Bacchus spite mThiLlen. To come into the Tower unfox'd^ upright. avt's cellar %r\^y7rs But as mcu's thoughts a world of ways do range, so d till now So aS Lieutenants chang'd, did customs (d) chano-e : of atewitli n » / o tliZs'' ^UNFOx'D.-i.., not drunk. THE Tower- Bottles. 3 The ancient use us'd many years before, Was sold, unto the highest rate and more. At such a price, which whosoe'er did give, Must play the thief, or could not save and live. Which to my loss, I manifestly found I am well sure it cost me thirty pound For one year, but before the next year come, 'Twas almost mounted to a, (e) double sum : Then I, in scorn, contempt, and vile disgrace. Discarded was, and thrust quite from my place, There Bacchits almost cast me in the mire. And I from wine to water did retire. But when the blind misjudging world did see. The strange unlook'd for parting of tis three, To hear but how the multitude did judge. How they did mutter, mumble, prate and grudge. That for some (f) faults I surely had committed, I, in disgrace thus from my place was quitted. These imputations griev'd me to the heart, (For they were causeless and without desert) And therefore, though no man above the ground That knew the Bottles would give twenty (g) pound Rather than I would branded be with shame. And bear the burthen of desertless blame. To be an owl, contemptuously bewondered. I would (h) give threescore, fourscore, or a hundred. For I did vow, although I were undone, I would redeem my credit overrun, 4 Taylor's Farewell to "InyprJ^eX And 'tls mucH better in a jail to rot, icouid not To suffer bep-2:'ry, slavery, or what not, Itay the full ^ ' ^ J ' Than to be blasted with that wrong of wrongs, vithid it. Which is the poison of backbiting tongues. Hoisted aloft unto this mounting tax, Bound fast in bonds in parchment and with wax, Time gallop'd, and brought on the payment day. And for three months I eighteen pounds did pay. Then I confess, I play'd the thief in grain, And for one bottle commonly stole twain. But so who buys the place, and means to thrive, Must many times for one take four or five. For this I will maintain and verify. It is an office no true man can buy. And by that reason sure I should say well. It is unfit for any man to sell : For till at such an extreme rate I bought, To filch or steal, I scarcely had a thought, And I dare make a vow 'fore God and men, I never play'd the thief so much as then. But at the last my friendly stars agreed, Lilte'^nant That from my heavy bonds I should be ( i) freed : by which I which if 1 ever come into again, was eased of T ninu. Let hanging be the guerdon for my pain. Then the (^) old custom did again begin, And to the Tower I brought the Bottles in, For which for serving more than half a year, I (with much love) had wages and good cheer, payments (k) By this Lieutenant that now is. THE Tower- Bottles. 5 Till one (I) most valiant, ignorantly stout, Did buy, and over-buy, and buy me out. Thus like times football, was I often tost. In dock out-nettle, up-down, blest and crost, Out fac d and fac'd, grac'd, and again disgrac'd, And as blind fortune pleas'd, displac'd, or plac d, And thus, for ought my (m) Augury can see, Divorc'd and parted ever are we three. Old Naboth, my case is much worse than thine, Thou but the vineyard lost, I lost the wine : Two witnesses (for bribes) thee false accus'd, (Perhaps) some prating knaves have me abus'd : Yet thy wrong's more than mine, the reason why, For thou wast (n) stoned to death, so am not I. But as the dogs, did eat the flesh and gore Of Jezebel, that Royal painted whore. So may the gallows eat some friends of mine, That first striv'd to remove me from the wine. This may by some misfortune be their lot. Although that any way I wish it not. But farewell Bottles never to return. Weep you in sack, whilst I in ale will mourn ; Yet though you have no reason, wit, or sense, FU senseless chide you for your vile offence, That from your foster father me would slide To dwell with ignorance, a blind-fold guide. For who in Britain knew (but (o) I) to use you. And who but I knew how but to abuse you ; I (I) A despe- rate cloth- toorker. that did hunger and thirst to undo himself (m) Augury is a kind of soothsaying by the flight of birds. (n) T^aboth was stoned to death, so am not I. (o) My Bottles do deserve a little reproof. 6 Taylors Farewell to My speech to you, no action sure can bear, From Scandalum magnatum I am clear. When upland tradesmen thus dares take in hand A wa'try business, they not understand : It did presage things would turn topsy-turvy, And the conclusion of it would be scurvy, But leaving him unto the course of fate, Bottles let you and I a-while debate, Call your extravagant wild humours home, And think but whom you are departed from ; I that for your sakes have given stabs and stripes, To give you suck from hogsheads and from pipes, I that with pains and care you long have nurs'd. Oft fill'd you with the best, and left the worst. And to maintain you full, would often pierce, The best of butts, a puncheon, or a tierce, Whil'st pipes and sackbuts were the instruments That I played on, to fill your full contents. With bastart, sack, with allegant, and Rhenish, Your hungry maws I often did replenish. With malmsey, muscadel, and Corsica, With white, red, claret, and liatica, With hoUock, sherry, malaga, canary, I stuft your sides up with a sursarara, \certiorari\ That though the world was hard, my care was still, To search and labour you might have your fill, T^hat when my master did or sup or dine, THE Tower- Bottles. 7 He had his choice of (p) fifteen sorts of wine. And as good wines they were I dare be bold, As any seller in this land did hold. Thus from these Bottles I made honour spring, Befitting for the castle of a king. This Royalty my labour did maintain, When I had meat and wages for my pain. Ingrateful Bottles, take it not amiss That I, of your unkindness tell you this, Sure if you could speak, you could say in brief, Your greatest want, was still my greatest grief. Did I not often in my bosom hug you. And in mine arms would (like a father) lug you, Have I not run through tempests, gusts, and storms, And met with danger in strange various forms. All times and tides, with, and against the stream. Your welfare ever was my labours theme. Sleet, rain, hail, wind, or Winter's frosty chaps, Joves lightning, or his dreadful thunderclaps, When all the elements in one conspire, Sad earth, sharp air, rough water, flashing fire, Have warr'd on one another, as if all This world of nothing, would to nothing fall. When showering hail-shot, from the storming heav'n, Nor blustering gusts by ^olus, belching driven, Could hold me back, then oft I search'd and sought, And found, and unto you the purchase brought. All weathers, fair, foul, sunshine, wet and dry, (p) TMs wa$ a credit to the King's Castle, and to the Lieutenant thereof. 8 Taylor's Farewell to I travailed still, your paunches to supply. Oft have I fought, and swagger' d in your right, And fiird your still by either sleight or might. And in the exchequer I stood for your cause, Else had you been confounded by the laws, an/Jo^ht I produce such ( q) witnesses which cross'd that knew The merchant's suit, else you had quite been lost, and took f^rthtq^n. And (but for me) apparently 'tis known, Bottles You had been kicksev-winsev over-thrown, for bO years. ^ ' And for my service and my much pains taken, I am cashier'd, abandon'd, and forsaken. I knew it well, and said, and swore it too. That he that bought me would himself undo, And I was promis'd, that when he gave o'er. That I should fill you, as I did before. For which four years with patience I did stay. Expecting he would break or run away. Which though it be fallen out as I expected, Yet nevertheless my service is rejected. Let men judge if I have not cause to write Against my fortune, and the world's despight, (r) 14 yean, fh^t in my prime of strength, so long 2L(r) space, I toiled and drudged, in such a gainless place. Whereas the best part of my life I spent, And to my power gave every man content. In all which time which I did then remain, I gave no man occasion to complain, For unto all that know me, I appeal, THE Tower- Bottles. 9 To speak if well or ill I used to deal, Or if there be the least abuse in me, For which I thus from you should sund'red be. For though my profit by you was but small, Yet sure my gain was love in general. And that I do not lye nor speak amiss, I can bring hundreds that can witness this, Yet for all this, I ever am put off, And made a scorn, a by-word and a scoff It must some villains information be. That hath maliciously abused me. But if I knew the misinforming elf, I would write lines should make him hang himself. Be he a great man that doth use me ill, (That makes his will his law, and law his will) I hold a poor man may that great man tell, How that in doing ill, he doth not well. But Bottles black, once more have at you breech, For unto you I only bend my speech Full fourteen times had Sol's illustrious rays, Ran through the Zodiac, when I spent my days To conserve, reserve, preserve and deserve. Your loves, when you with wants were like to starve. A gross of moons, and twice 1 2 months beside, I have attended you all time and tides. If I gain'd twelve pence by you all that time, May I to Tyburn for promotion climb, For though the blind world understand it not, lo Taylor's Farewell to I know there's nothing by you can be got, Except a drunken pate, a scurvy word. And now and then be tumbled over board, And those these mischiefs I have kept me fro, No other Bottleman could e'er do so, 'Tis known you have been stabb'd, thrown in Thames, And he that fil'd you beaten, with exclaims. Merchants, who have much abused been Which exigents, I never brought you in. But I with peace and quietness got more, Than any brabling e'er could do before The warders knows, each Bottleman (but I) Had always a crack'd crown, or a black eye. Oft beaten like a dog, with a scratch'd face, Turn'd empty, beaten back with vile disgrace. These injuries myself did bring in quiet, And still with peace I fill'd you free from riot ; My labours have been dedicate to you. And you have dealt with me, as with a yeWy For unto thousand witnesses 'tis known. I did esteem your welfare as mine own, But an objection from my words may run. That seeing nothing by you may be won. Why I do keep this deal of do about you When as I say, I can live best without you. I answer, though no profit you do bring, Yet there is many a profitable thing, THE Tower- Bottles. Which I of (s) mariners might often buy, couZ'never Which unto me would yield commodity, mind in 1 I years whilst And I expected when the time should be, pLV.*^' That I should fill you, as 'twas promised me, Whereby some other profit might be got, Which I in former times remembered not. All which could do the Custom-house (t) no wrong, ^^foiilelor Which to repeat here, would be over-long, potatoes, • 1 • 1 1 • oranges, But I was slighted with most vile disgrace, SdLr* And one that was my prentice plac'd in (tc) place. wlZhaman may hu'i. get, But holla, holla, Muse come back, come back, and save by. (u) The I speak to none but you, you Bottles black. {verZt^ul You that are now turn'd monsters, most ingrate, andi'envy not his Where you have cause to love most, most do hate, Jy^jy/j' You that are of good manners quite derived, foul play offered me. Worse than the beastfjrj from whence you are derived. They are If you be good for nothing but what's naught, heast h{det Then sure you have been better fed than taught, Besides the world will tax me, and say still The fault was mine, that nurtur'd you so ill. Persisting thus in your injurious wrong. It shows you are drunk with being empty long. Long fasting sure, hath made you weak and dull, For you are steadiest, when you are most full. Methinks I hear you say the fault s not yours, You are commanded by superior powers, But if the choice were yours, you had much rather That I, than any one the wines should gather, 12 Taylor's Farewell to Alas poor fools, I see your force is weak, Complain you cannot, wanting power to speak ; If you had speech, it may be you would tell, How with you and the merchants I dealt well, But 'tis no matter though you silent be. My fourteen years long service speaks for me ; And for the merchants still my friends did prove, I'll tell them somewhat to requite their love. First let their wisdoms but collect and sum. How many ships with wine do yearly come, And they will find that all these Bottles shall gaiii^from ^ot fill (j/) uine hogsheads, at the most of all, somfburf Then he that for them three tun dares to 2^ive, gallon and a Sun* 30, The case is plain, he must or beg or thieve. 'aiSwanceis I do uot Say that you have been abus'd, the quantity hogshead ^ut you may partly guess how we were used, may he Indeed (z) I think we ne'er so soon had parted, easily found 'Jlstomhouse Had fHeudly outsides been but friendly hearted, true or not The sweet bait covers the deceiving hooks, ifeak7fthe Aud false hearts can put on good words and looks : llain. All is not gold the proverb says that glisters, And I could wish their tongues were full of blisters, That with their flatt'ring diligence most double. Themselves, and you, and I, thus much did trouble. For misinforming paltry knaves must be, The instruments of such indignity. But as the fairest gardens have some weeds, [breeds, And mongst the cleanest flock, some scab'd sheep THE Tower- Bottles. Or as the tare amongst the wheat doth grow, Good only for what's ill, yet makes a show. So there's no greatness fixed on the ground, But claw-back sycophants may there be found. For 'tis a maxim held in every nation, Great men are waited on by adulation. No doubt but some doth to the court resort. And sure the Tower must imitate the Court, As Ccesars palace may (perhaps) have many, So CcBsars castle cannot say not any. I have found some that with each wind would move, With hearts all hatred, and with tongues all love. Who with hats moved, would take me by the fist, With compliments of honest Jack how ist ? I'm glad to see thee well with all my heart. Long have I longed to drink with thee a quart, I have believed this dross had been pure gold. When presently I have been bought and sold Behind my back (for no desert and cause) By those that kindly cap'd and kissed their claws, For one of them (an ancient reverend scribe) Received forty shillings for a bribe, On purpose so to bring the case about To put another in, and thrust me out. Long was the time this business was a brewing, Until fit opportunity accruing, I was displaced, yet spite the bribed shark, The man that gave the bribe did miss the mark. 14 Taylor's Farewell to O Bottles, Bottles, Bottles, Bottles, Bottles, Platos Divine works, nor great Aristotles, Did e'er make mention of a gift so Royal, Was ever bought and sold like slaves disloyal. For since King Richard second of that name, (I think) your high prerogative you claim : And thus much here to write I dare be bold, You are a gift not given to be sold. For sense or reason never would allow. That you should eVe be bought and sold till now. Philosophers with all their documents, Nor aged times with all their monuments, Did ever mention such untoward elves, That did more idly cast away themselves. To such low ebb your baseness now doth shrink. Whereas you yearly did make thousands drink. The hateful title now to you is left. You are instruments of beggary and of theft. But when I filled you (I dare boldly swear) From all these imputations you were clear, Against which I dare, dare, who dare or can. To answer him and meet him man to man, Truth arms me, with the which I will hold bias. Against the shock of any false Goliahs, Bottles you have not wanted of your fill. Since you have left me, by your heedless will, You scarce have tasted penury or want. (For cunning thieves are seldom ignorant) THE Tower- Bottles. Yet many times you have been filled with trash, Scarce good enough your dirty skins to wash. All this I know, and this I did divine. But all's one, draff is good enough far swine. I do not here inveigh, or yet envy. The places profit, none can come thereby, And in my hand it lies (if so I please) To spoil it, and not make it worth a pease. And to the world I'll cause it to appear. Who e're gives for you twenty pounds a year. Must from the merchants pilfer fourscore more, Or else he cannot live and pay the score. And to close up this point, I say in brief, Who buys it is a begger or a thief. Or else a fool, or to make all agree, He may be fool, thief, begger, all the three, So you false Bottles to you both adieu, The Thames for me, not a Denier for you. THE VNNATURALL FATHER: OB, A Cruell Murther committed by one 10 HN ROVVSE, of the Towne of Ewell, ten miles from London, in the County of Surry, Vpo7i two of his owne Children. AT LONDON, Printed in the Yeare 1621. THE UNNATURAL FATHER. ^^^^S a Chain consists of divers links, and ^^^^ every link depends, and is inyok'd upon ^fgll one another : Even so our sins, being the fe^^ Chain wherewith Satan doth bind and ^^^^ manacle us, are so knit, twisted, and 3©' sodered together, that without our firm faith ascending, and Gods grace descending, we can never be freed from those infernal fetters ; for Sloth is linked with drunkenness. Drunkenness with Forni- cation and Adultery, and Adultery with Murder, and so of all the rest of the temptations, suggestions, and actions, wherewith miserable men and women are insnared and led captive into perpetual perdition, except the mercy of our gracious God be our defence and safe guard. For a lamentable example of the Devils malice, and mans misery ; this party, of whom I treat at this time, was a wretch, not to be matched, a fellow 2 The Unnahtral Father. not to be fellowed, and one that scarce hath an equal, for matchless misery, and unnatural Murder. But to the matter. This John Rowse being a Fishmonger in London, gave over his trade and lived altogether in the town of Ewell, near Nonsuch,^ in the county of Surrey, ten miles from London, where he had land of his own for himself and his heirs for ever to the value of fifty pounds a year, with which he lived in good and honest fashion, being well reputed of all his neighbours, and in good estimation with Gentle- men and others that dwelt in the adjoining villages. Until at the last he married a very honest and comely woman, with whom he lived quietly and in good fashion some six months, till the Devil sent an instrument of his, to disturb their Matrimonial *Nonsuch, a royal retreat, built by Henry VIII. with an excess of mag- nificence and elegance, even to ostentation ; one would imagine everything that architecture can perform to have been employed in this one work ; there are everywhere so many statues that seem to breathe, so many miracles of consummate art, so many casts that rival even the perfection of Roman anti- quity, that it may well obtain and justify its name of Nonsuch, being without an equal, or as the poet sings : ' ' This, which no equal has in art or fame, Britons deservedly do Nonsuch name." The palace itself is so encompassed with parks full of deer, delicious gardens, groves ornamented with trellis-work, cabinets of verdure, and walks so embrowned by trees, that it seems to be a place pitched on by Pleasure herself to dwell in along with Health. The materials of Nonsuch House were valued at £'],020. Not a vestige is now standing, but the coloured bricks, stones, &c. plentifully introduced into the houses and garden walls of Cheam, prove that the materials have not been entirely destroyed. — Coohe^s Surrey. The Unnahcral Father. 3 happiness : for they wanting a Maidservant, did entertain into their house a Wench, whose name was Jane Bhtndell, who in short time was better acquainted with her Masters bed than honesty required, which in time was found out and known by her Mistress, and brake the peace, in such sort, between the said Rowse and his Wife, that in the end, after two years continuance, it brake the poor womans heart, that she died and left her husband a widower, where he and his Whore were the more free to use their cursed contentments, and ungodly embracements. Yet that estate of being unmarried, was dis- pleasing to him, so that he took to wife another woman, who for her outward feature, and inward qualities was every way fit for a very honest man, although it were her hard fortune to match otherwise. With this last Wife of his he lived much discontented, by reason of his keeping his lewd Trull in his house, so that by his daily riot, excessive drinking and unproportionable spending, his estate began to be much impoverished, much of his land mortgaged and forfeited, himself above two hundred pounds indebted, and in process of time to be (as a lewd liver) of all his honest neighbours rejected and contemned. His estate and credit being almost past recovery wasted and impaired, he forsook his Wife, came up 4 The Unnatural Father. to London with his Wench where he fell into a new league with a corrupted friend ; who (as he said) did most courteously cozen him of all that ever he had, and whom at this time I forbear to name, because it was John Rowse his request before his execution, that he should not be named in any Book or Ballad, but yet upon a Die his name may be picked out betwixt a Cinq and a Trois. This false friend of his (as he said) did persuade him to leave his Wife for altogether, and did lodge and board him and his paramour certain weeks in his house, and afterward caused him and her to be lodged (having chang'd his name) as Man and Wife in an honest mans house near Bishops-gate, at Bevis Marks, where they continued so long, till his money was gone, (as indeed he never had much, but now and then small petty sums from his secret friend aforesaid) and he being fearful to be smooked out by his Creditors, was counselled to leave his Country and depart for Ireland ; and before his going over Sea, his friend wrought so, that all his land was made over in trust to him, and Bonds, Covenants, and Leases made, as fully bought and sold for a sum of two hundred and threescore pounds ; of all which money the said Rowse did take the Sacrament at his death, that he never did receive one penny, but he said now and then he had five or ten shillings at a time from his said friend, and never above twenty shillings ; The Unnahiral Father. 5 and all that ever he had of him, being summed together, was not above three and twenty pounds, the which moneys his friend did pay himself out of his rents. But some more friend to him, than he was to himself, did doubt that he was cheated of his land : whereupon (to make all sure) he said that his false friend did so far prevail with him, that he the said Rowse took an oath in the open Court at Westminster Hall, that he had lawfully sold his land, and had received the sum above said, in full satisfaction and payment, and his said friend did vow and protest many times unto him, with such oaths, and vehement curses, that he never would deceive his trust, but that at any time when he would command all those forged Bonds and Leases, that he would surrender them unto him, and that he should never be damnified by them or him, to the value of one half penny. Upon which protes- tations (he said) he was enticed to undo himself out of all his earthly possessions, and by a false Oath to mak.e hazard of his inheritance in Heaven. In Ireland he staid not long, but came over again, and was by his friend persuaded to go into the Low Countries : which he did, never minding his Wife and two small children which he had by her, having likewise a brace of bastards by his Whore (as some say) but he said that but one of them was of 6 The U nnahi ra I leather. his begetting. But he, after some stay in Holland, saw that he could not fadge there, according to his desire and withal, suspecting that he was cheated of his land, and above all, much perplexed in his Conseience for the false oath that he had taken, pon- dering his miserable estate, and rueing his unkindness to his Wife, and unnatural dealing to his Children, thinking with himself what course were best to take to help himself out of so many miseries which did incompass him, he came over again into England to his too dear friend, demanding of him his Bonds and Leases of his Land which he had put him in trust withal. But then his friend did manifest himself what he was, and told him plainly, that he had no writings, nor any land of his, but what he had dearly bought and paid for. All which (Rowse replied unto him) was false, as his own Conscience knew. Then said the other, have I not here in my custody your hand and seal to confirm my lawful possession of your land ? and moreover have I not a record of an oath in open Court, which you took, concerning the truth of all our bargain ? And seeing that I have all these especial points of the Law, as an Oath, Indentures, and a sure possession, take what course you will, for I am resolved to hold what I have These (or the like) words, in effect passed betwixt Rowse and his friend (Trusty Ro^e7^) which entering at his ears, pierced his heart like daggers ; The Unnatural Father. 7 and being out of money, and credit, a man much infamous for his bad life, indebted beyond all possible means of payment; a perjured wretch to cozen himself, having no place or means to feed or lodge, and fearful of being arrested, having so much abused his Wife, and so little regarded his Children, being now brought to the pits, brim of desperation, not knowing amongst these calamities which way to turn himself, he resolved at last to go home to Ewell again to his much wronged Wife for his last refuge in extremity. The poor Woman received him with joy, and his Children with all gladness welcomed home the prodigal Father, with whom he remained in much discontentment and perplexity of mind : the Devil still tempting him to mischief and despair, putting him in mind of his former better estate, comparing pleasures past with present miseries : and he revolving that he had been a man in that Town, had been a Gentlemans companion, of good reputation and calling, that he had Friends, Lands, Money, Apparel and Credit, with means sufficient to have left for the maintenance of his Family, and that now he had nothing left him but poverty and beggary, and that his two Children were like to be left to go from door to door for their living. Being thus tormented and tost with restless imaginations ; he seeing daily to his further grief, 8 The Unnatural Father. the poor case of his Children, and fearing that worse would befall them hereafter, he resolved to work some means to take away their languishing lives, by a speedy and untimely death, the which practice of his (by the Devils instigation and assistance) he effected as followeth. To be sure that no body should stop or prevent his devilish enterprise ; he sent his Wife to London on a frivolous errand, for a riding coat : and she being gone somewhat timely, and too soon in the morning, both her children being in bed and fast asleep, being two very pretty Girls, one of the age of six years, and the other four years old, none being in the house but themselves, their unfortunate Father, and his ghostly Counseller, the doors being- fast locked, he having an excellent spring of water* in the cellar of his house (which, to a good mind that would have employed it well, would have been a blessing : for the water is that of christaline purity, and clearness, that Queen Elizabeth of famous memory would daily send for it for her own use) in which he purposed to drown his poor innocent children sleeping : for he going into the chamber where they lay, took the youngest of them named Elizabeth, forth of her bed, and carried her down the stairs into his cellar, and there put her in the *Spring of Water. — The Spring Hotel, renowned for its beautiful gar- dens and wedding breakfasts, and now kept by Mr. John Kdng, a very civil and obliging *'mine host," occupies the site. The Unnatural Father. 9 spring of water, holding down her head under that pure element with his hands, till at last the poor harmless soul and body parted one from another. Which first act of this his inhuman tragedy being ended, he carried the dead corpse up three pair of stairs, and laying it down on the floor, left it, and went down into the chamber where his other daughter, named Mary, was in bed ; being newly awaked, and seeing her father, demanded of him where her Sister was ? To whom he made answer that he would bring her where she was. So taking her in his arms, he carried her down towards the cellar : and as he was on the cellar stairs, she asked him what he would do, and whither he would carry her? Fear nothing, my Child (quoth he) I will bring thee up again presently : and being come to the spring, as before he had done with the other, so he performed the last unfatherly deed upon her, and to be as good as his word, carried her up the stairs and laid her by her sister ; that done, he laid them out, and covered them both with a sheet, walking up and down his house, weeping and lamenting his own misery, and his friends treachery, that was the main ground of all his misfortunes, and the death of his Children : and though there was time and oppor- tunity enough for him to fly, and to seek for safety ; yet the burthen and guilt of his conscience was so heavy to him, and his desperate case was so extreme io The Unnatural Father. that he never offered to depart ; but as a man weary of his hfe, would, and did stay, till such time as he was apprehended and sent to Prison, where he lay till he was rewarded with a just deserved death. What his other intents were, after he had drowned his Children is uncertain ; for he drew his sword, and laid it ncked on a table, and after he gat a poor woman down into the cellar, and in the same place where the two infants lost their lives, he did help the woman to wring a buck of his clothes, and then he requested her to help to convey his goods out of his house ; for he said that he feared, that the Sheriff of Surrey would come and seize upon all. But the woman not thinking of any of the harm that was done, imagined that he had meant that his goods would be seized for debt, and not for murder. But to return to the miserable Mother of the murdered Children, she said that her heart throbbed all the day, as fore-boding some heavy mischance to come : and having done her business that she came about to London, as soon as she came home, she asked for her Children ; to whom her husband answered that they were at a neighbours house in the Town. Then said she, I will go thither to fetch them home. No, quoth he, I will go myself presently for them. Then said his Wife, let the poor woman that is here, go and bring them home. But at last she saw such delay was used, she was The Unnatural Father. going herself; then her Husband told her that he had sent them to a Kinsmans of his at a village called Sutton, four miles from Ewell, and that he had provided well for them, and prayed her to be contented and fear nothing, for they were well. These double tales of his, made her to doubt some- what was amiss : therefore she intreated him for Gods sake to tell her truly where they where. Whereupon he said. If you will needs know where they are, go but up the stairs into such a chamber, and there you shall find them. But in what a lamentable perplexity of mind the poor woman was, when she perceived how and which way they lost their lives, any Christian that hath an heart of flesh may imagine. Presently the Constable was sent for, who took him into his custody, who amongstother talk, demanded of him why and how he could commit so unnatural a fact, as to murder his Children ? To whom he answered, that he did it, because he was not able to keep them, and that he was loth they should go about the Town a begging : and moreover, that they were his own, and being so, that he might do what he would with them, and that they had their lives from him, and therefore he had taken their lives from them, and was contented to lose his life for them : for he was sure that their miseries were past, and for his part, he had an assured hope to go to them, though they could not come to him, 12 The Unnahiral Father. So being had before Justice, his examination was very brief ; for he confest all the whole circum- stances of the matter freely ; so that he was sent to the common Prison of Surrey, called the White Lion, where he remained fourteen or fifteen weeks a wonderful penitent Prisoner, never, or very seldom, being without a Bible or some other good book meditating upon ; and when any one did but men- tion his Children, he would fetch a deep sigh, and weep, desiring every one to pray for him : and upon his own earnest request, he was prayed for at Pauls Cross, and at most of the Churches in London, and at many in the Country, and at the Sessions holden at Croydon, the latter end of June last, he made such free confession at the Bar, declaring the manner of his life, his odious Drinking, his abominable Whoring, his cruel Murder, and the false dealing of his deceitful friend, which was the cause of his final wreck : with which Relations of his pronounced, with such vehemency and protestations, he moved all that heard him to commiseration and pity. So, according to Law and Justice, he was there condemned and judged (for the murdering of his two children) to be hanged ; which judgment was executed on him at the common Gallows, at Croydon, on Monday, the second day of June, 1621, where he died with great penitency and remorse of con- science. The U7i7iatural Father. 13 This was the lamentable end of John Rowse, a man of the age of fifty years, and one that might have lived and died in better fashion, if he had laid hold on the grace of heaven, and craved Gods protection and fatherly assistance ; but of all that herein is declared, this one thing which I now declare, is most lamentable and remarkable ; which is, that Ewell being a market town, not much above ten miles from London^ in a Christian Kingdom, and such a Kingdom, where the all-saving Word of the ever-living God is most diligently, sincerely, and plentifully preached ; and yet amidst this diligence, as it were in the circle or centre of his sincerity, and in the flood of this plenty, the Town of Ewell hath neither Preacher nor Pastor : for although the Parsonage be able to maintain a sufficient Preacher, yet the living being in a Laymans hand, is rented out to another for a great sum, and yet no Preacher maintained there. Now the chief Landlord out of his portion, doth allow but seven pounds yearly for a Reader, and the other that doth hire the Parsonage at a great rent, doth give the said Reader four pound the year more out of his means and courtesy : and by this means the Town is served with a poor old man that is half blind, and by reason of his age can scarcely read : for all the world knows, that so small a stipend cannot find a good Preacher books, and very hardly bread to live on ; so that the poor souls 14 The Unnatural Father, dwelling there, are in danger of famishing, for want of a good Preacher to break the Bread of Life unto them : for a Sermon amongst them, is as rare as as warm weather in December, or ice in July : both which I have seen in England, though but seldom. And as the Wolf is most bold with the Sheep, when there is either no shepherd, or an impotent insufficient one, so the Devil (perhaps) took his advantage of this wretched man, seeing he was so badly guarded, and so weakly guided to withstand his force and malice : for where God is least known and called upon, there Satan hath most power and domination. But howsoever, I wish with all my heart, that that Town and many more were better provided than they are, and then such numbers of souls would not be in hazard to perish ; nor so many sufficient scholars that can preach and teach well, live in penury through want of maintenance, I could run further upon this point, but that I do shortly purpose to touch it more to be quick in another book. By this mans fall, we may see an example of Gods Justice against Drunkenness, Whoredom, and Murder ; the Devil being the first Author, who was a Murderer from the beginning : who filled Cain with envy, that he murdered his brother Abel : who tempted David first to Adultery, and afterwards to Murder ; who provoked Herod to cause the blessed The Unnahtral Father. . 15 Servant of God John Baptist to lose his head, because he told him it was not lawful for him to marry his brother Philips Wife ; and who was the provoker of the aforesaid Herod to murder all the innocent male children in his Kingdom. And let us but mark and consider the plagues and punish- ments that God hath inflicted upon Murderers, Adulterers, and incestuous persons : First Cain^ although by his birth he was the first man that ever was born, a Prince by his birth, and heir apparent to all the world ; yet for the Murder by him committed on his brother, he was the first Vagabond and Runagate on the face of the earth, almost fearful of his own shadow: and after he had lived a long time terrified in Conscience, was himself slain (as is supposed) by Lamech, Simeon and Levi the sons of Jacob were accursed of their Father for the slaughter of the Sichemites ; Joab the Captain of Davids host, was slain for the murdering of Abner ; David himself, for the death of Urias, and the Adultery committed with Bethsheba, was continually plagued and vexed with the Sword of War, with the Rebellion of his own sons, and with the untimely deaths of Amnon, and Absolom. Baanah and Rechab, for the slaying of Ishbosheth the son of Saul^ they were both by Davids commandment put to death, who had both their hands and feet cut off, and were afterward hanged over the Pool in Hebron : i6 The Unnatural Father. Samuel 2. 4. The examples are infinite out of divine and human Histories, that God did never suffer Murder to go unrewarded : and this miserable man, of whom I have here related is a most manifest spectacle of Gods revenging vengeance, for that crying and heinous sin. As concerning Lust and Incontinency, it is a short pleasure, bought with long pain, a honeyed poison, a Gulf of shame, a Pickpurse, a breeder of diseases, a gall to the Conscience, a corrosive to the heart, turning mans wit into foolish madness, the bodies bane, and the souls perdition : it is excessive in youth and odious in age ; besides, God himself doth denounce most fearful threats against Forni- cators and Adulterers, as the Apostle saith, that Whoremongers and Adulterers shall not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven, i. Cor, 6. 9. And God himself saith, that he will be a swift witness against Adulterers, Mai. 3. 5. And the Wise man saith, that because of the whorish woman, a man, is brought to a morsel of bread, and a woman will hunt for the precious life of a man : For, saith he, can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burnt f or can a man go ttp on hot Coals, and his feet not be burnt ^ So he that goeth into his neighbours Wife, shall not be innocent, Prov. 6. 27, 28, 29. Abimelech, one of the sons of Gideon, murdered three-score and ten of his Brethren ; and in reward thereof (by the The Unnatural Father. 17 Just Judgment of God) a woman with a piece of a millstone beat out his brains, after he had usurped the Kingdom three years, Juds^es the 9. Our English Chronicles make mention, that Roger Mortimer, Lord Baron of Wallingford, murdered his Master King Edward the second, and caused the Kings Uncle, Edmttnd Earl oi Kent, causelessly to be beheaded : but Gods Justice overtook him at last, so that for the said Murders he was shamefully executed. Humphrey Duke of Gloucester was murdered in the Abbey of Bury by William de la Poole Duke of Suffolk, who afterward was beheaded himself on the Sea by a Pirate. Arden of Feversham.^ and Page of Plymotith, both their Murders are fresh in rriemory, and the fearful ends of their wives and their Aiders in those bloody actions will never be forgotten. It is too manifestly known, what a number of Stepmothers and Strumpets have most inhumanly murdered their Children, and for the same have most deservedly been executed. But in the memory of man (nor scarcely in any History) it is not to be found, that a Father did ever take two Innocent Children out of their beds, and with weeping tears of pitiless pity, and unmerciful mercy, to drown them shewing such compassionate cruelty, and sorrowful sighing, remorseless remorse in that most unfatherly ?nd unnatural deed i8 The Unnatural Father. All which may be attributed to the malice of the Devil, whose will and endeavour is that none should be saved, who lays out his traps and snares, entangling some with Lust, some with Covetousness, some with Ambition, Drunkenness, Envy, Murder, Sloth, or any Vice whereto he sees a man or a woman most inclined unto, as he did by this wretched man, lulling him, as it were, in the cradle of sensuality, and ungodly delight, until such time as all his means, reputation, and credit was gone, and nothing left him but misery and reproach. Then he leads him along through doubts and fears, to have no hope in Gods Providence persuading his Con- science that his sins were unpardonable, and his estate and credit unrecoverable. With these suggestions, he led him on to despair, and in desperation to kill his Children, and make shipwreck of his own Soul in which the diligence of the Devil appeareth, that he labours and travels incessantly : and as Saint Bernard saith, in the last day shall rise in condemnation against us, because he hath ever been more diligent to destroy souls, than we have been to save them. And for a Conclusion let us beseech God of his infinite mercy to defend us from all the subtle temptations of Satan. John Rowse his Prayer for pardon of his lewd hfe, which he used t a pray in the time of his imprisonment. ]0D of my Soul and Body, have mercy upon me ; the one I have cast away by my Folly, and the other is likely to perish in thy Fury, unless in thy great mercy thou save it. My Sins are deep Seas to drown me ; I am swallowed up in the bottomless gulf of my own transgressions. With Cain I have been a Mur- derer, and with Judas a Betrayer of the Inno- cent. My body is a slave to Satan, and my wretched Soul is devoured up by Hell. Black have been my thoughts, and blacker are my deeds. I have been the Devils instrument, and am now become the scorn of men ; a Serpent upon earth, and an Outcast from Heaven. What therefore can become of me (miserable Caitiff? If I look to my Redeemer, to him I am an Arch-Traitor, if upon Earth, it is drowned with blood of my shedding, if into Hell, there I see my Conscience burning in the 20 The Unnatural Father. , Brimstone Lake. Qod of my Soul and Body have mercy therefore upon ; Save me, O Save me, or else I perish for ever ; I die for ever in the world to come, unless (sweet Lord) thou catchest my repen- tant Soul in thine Arms ; O save me, save me, save me. John Rowse of Ewell his own Arraignment, Confession, Condemnation, and Judgment of himself whilst he lay Prisoner in the White Lion, for drowning of his two Children. Am arraign d at the black dreadftd Bar ; Where Sins {so red as Scarlet) Judges are ; All my Indictments are my horrid Crimes, Whose Story will affright succeeding Times, As (now) they drive the present into wonder, Making Men tremble, as trees struck with Thunder. If any asks what evidence comes in f O 'tis my Conscience, which hath ever been The Unnahcral Father. 21 A thousand witnesses : and noza it tells A Tale, to cast me to ten thoicsa^id Hells. The Jury are my Thoughts ( tLpright hi this,) They sentence me to death for doing a^niss : Examinations more their need not then, Than what's confest here both to God and Men. That Crier of the Court is my black Shame, Which when it calls 7ny Jury doth proclaim. Unless (as they are szimmond) they appear, To give true Verdict of the Prisoner, They shall have heavy Fines upon them set. Such, as may make them die deep hi Heavens debt : About me rotmd sit and hmocence and Truth, As Clerks to this high Coicrt ; and little Ruth From Peoples eyes is cast upon my face : Because my facts are barbarotcs, damnd and base. The Officers that 'bout me (thick) are placd, To guard me to my death, ( when I am cast ) Are the black stings my speckled sotcl now feels. Which like to Ftiries dog me, close at heels. The Hangman that attends 7ne, is Despair, And gnawing worms my fellow -Prisoners are. 21 The Unnatural Father. His Indictment for Murder of his Children. HE first who ( at this Sessions) loud doth call me Is Murder^ whose grim visage doth appal me ; His eyes are fires ^ his voice rough wind otU-roars^ And on my head the Divine vengeance scores : So fast and fearfully I sink to ground^ And wish I were in twenty Oceans drown d. He says, I have a bloody Villain been, And ( to prove this ) ripe Evidence steps in, Browd like myself: fustice so brings about, That black sins still hunt one another out : ' Tis like a rotten frame ready to fall ; For one main Post being shaken, pulls down all. To this Indictment, ( holding up my hand,) Fettered with Terrors more than Irons stand, And being asked what to the Bill I say, Guilty, I cry. O dreadful Sessions day ! The Unnatural Father. His Judgment. OR these thick Stygian streams in which tJiast sworn, Thy ^uilt hath on thee laid this bitter doom ; Thy loath! d life on a Tree of shame must take A leave compelled by Law, eer old age make Her signed Pass-port ready. Thy offejice No longer can for days on earth dispense. Time blot thy name out of this bloody roll, And so the Lord have mercy on my Sozcl. His speech what he could say for himself. WRE TCHED Caitiff! what persuasive breath, Can call back this just Sentence of quick death ? I beg no boon, but mercy at Gods hands, ( The King of Kings, the Sovereign that commands Both Sold and Body ) O let him forgive My Treason to his Throne, and whilst I live, Jibbets and Racks shall torture limb by limb, 24 The Unnatural Father. Through worlds of Deaths Fll break to fly to him. My Birth-day gave not to my Mothers womb, More ease, than this shall joys, whe^ieer it come. My body mould to earth, sins sink to Hell, My penitent Soul win Heaven, vain world farewell. FINIS. sm Gregory JsTonsence His Newes from no place. Written on purpose^ with much study to no end, plentifully stored with want of wit, learning, Judgement , Rime and Reason, and may seeme very fitly for the vnder standing of Nobody. Toyte, Ptcncton, Ghemorah, Molushque, Kaycapepson. This is the worke of the Authors, without bor- rowing or stealing from others. By John Taylor. Printed in London, and are to bee sold be- tween e Charing-Crosse, and Algate. I 700. To the (Sir Reverence) Right Worshipped Mr. Trim Tram Senseless, Great Image of Authority and Hedgborough of the famous City of Gotham, and to the rest of that admir- ed and unmatchable Senate, with their Corruptions and Famihes. (96^7" HonorificicabiHtudinitatibus, / having studied the seven Lub berly Sciences ( being nine by computation) out of which I gathered three conjtcnctions four mile Ass-ttnder^ which with much labour, and great ease, to little or no purpose, I have noddicated to your gray, grave^ and gravelled Prate ection. I doitbt not but I might have had a Patron nearer hand, as the Dean of Dunstable, or the Beadle of Leighton Btczmrd, but that I know the Phrase, Method and Style, is not for every mans understanding, no my most renowned Pythagor- Asses, for you this Hogshead of invention was brewed and broached, for I am ignorantly per- suaded, that your wisdom can pick as mtich matter out of this Book in one day, as both the Universities can in twelve months, and thirteen Moons, with si;^ times ii Dedication. four years to boot, I know your bounties too exdingy for as old mother Baly said, the wit of man was much, when she saw a dog muzzled. Every man is not born to make a Monument for the Cuckoo ; to send a Trifoot home alone, to drive sheep before they have them, or to Trundle cheeses down a hill. So saluting you with more prespect than the Mayor of Loo did the Queens Ape, I take leave to leave you, and rest yours to bid you welcome, if you came within a mile of my hotcse to stay all night. Yours Rolihaytons. To Nobody. PON a Christmas Even, somewhat nigh Easter, anon after Whitsuntide, walking in a Coach from London to Lambeth by water, I overtook a man that met me in the morning before Sunset, the wind being in Capricorn, the Sign Southwest, with silence I demanded many questions of him, and he with much pensiveness did answer me merrily to the full, with such ample and empty replications, that both our understandings being equally satisfied, we contentiously agreed to finish and prosecute the narration of the Unknown Knight Sir Gregory Nonsence: so sitting down upon our shoulders, resting uneasily on a bank of Sycamores, under a tree of Odoriferous and conta- gious Camomile, after three sighs, smilingly uttered in the Hebrew Character, two groans from the Chaldean Dialect, five sobs from the Arabian Cinquapace, six dumps from the German Idiom, nine Moods of melancholy from the Italian tongue, With one hub bub from the Hibernian outcry. And last he laughed in the Cambrian tongue, and began to declare in the Utopian speech, what I have here with most diligent negligence Translated into the English Language, in which if the Printer hath iv Introduction. placed any line, letter or syllable, whereby this large volume may be made guilty to be understood by any man, I would have the Reader not to impute the fault to the Author, for it was far from his purpose to write to any purpose, so ending at the beginning, I say as it is ap plausefully written and commended to posterity in the Midsummer nights dream. If we offend, it is with our good will, we came with no intent, but to offend, and show our simple skill. Rolihaytons. The names of such Authors Alphabetically recited, as are simply mentioned in this Work. ^ MABIS de Gaul Long Meg. Archy Arms. Mad Mawlin. Bevis of Hamilton, Nobody. Boe to a Goose. 0 tool. Charing Cross. Proofs of 0000. CoaTcley. . Quinborough Oysters. Dusmore Cow. Ready money. Davy Wager. Shooters Hill. Evanwich Muff. Singer. Frier and the hoy. Sir Thomas Persons. Fubs his Travels. Tarleton. Garagantua. Tom Berry. Gammon of West Phallia, Tom Thumb, Grigs Granam. Unguentum Album. Hundred merry tales. Will Summers. Huon of Burdeux. Wit whither wilt thou ? lack Brum. WoodcocJc of our side. Knight of the Sun. Xampelloes Quiblines. Knave of Biamon^s. Yard of Ale. Lanum* Zany on tumbliny. SIR GREGORY NONSENSE; HIS NEWS FROM NO PLACE. T was in June the eight and thirtieth day, That I embarked was on Highgate hill, After discourteous friendly taking leave : Of my young Father Madge and Mother Jokn, The wind did ebb, the tide fiow'd North Southeast, We hoist our Sails of Colloquintida. And after 13. days and 17. nights, (With certain Hieroglyphic hours to boot) We with tempestuous calms and friendly storms, Split our main top-mast, close below the keel. And I with a dull quick congruity. Took 19. ounces of the Western wind. And with the pith of the pole Artichoke, Sail'd by the flaming Coast of Trapezond, There in a Fort of melting Adamant, Arm'd in a Crimson Robe, as black as jet, I 2 Sir Gi^egory Nonsense I saw Alcides with a Spiders thread, Lead Cerbertcs to the Pronontic sea, Then cutting further through the marble Main, 'Mongst flying Bulls, and 4. leg'd Turkeycocks, A dumb fair spoken, wellfaced aged youth, Sent to me from the stout Stimphalides, With tongueless silence thus began his speech : Illustrious flap-jack, to thy hungry doom, Low as the ground I elevate my cause. As I upon a Gnat was riding late. In quest to parley with the Pleiades, I saw the Duke of Hounsditch gaping close. In a green arbour made of yellow starch. Betwixt two Brokers howling Madrigals, A Banquet was served in of lampreys bones. Well pickl'd in the Tarbox of old time. When Demogorgon sail'd to Islington ; Which I perceiving with nine chads of steel, Straight flew upon the coast of Pimlico. T'inform great Prester John, and the Mogul, What ex'lent Oysters were at Billingsgate. The Mogul (all enraged with these news,) Sent a black snail post to Tartaria, To tell the Irishmen in Saxony, The dismal down downfall of old Charing Cross. With that nine butter Firkins in a flame. Did coldly rise to Arbitrate the cause : Guessing by the Cinderesses of Wapping, His News from no Place. 3 Saint Thomas Watrings is most ominous. For though an Andiron, and a pair of Tongs, May both have breeding from one teeming womb, Yet by the calculation of Pickt-hatch, Milk must not be so dear as Muscadel. First shall Melpomene in Cobweb Lawn Adorn great Memphis in a Mussel boat. And all the Muses clad in Robes of Air, Shall dance Levoltons with a Whirligig, Fair Pluto shall descend from Brazen Dis, And Polyphemus keep a Seamsters shop, The Isle of Wight shall like a dive-dapper. Devour the Egyptian proud Pyramids, Whilst Cassia Fistula shall gormandize. Upon the flesh and blood of Croydon coal dust, Then on the banks of Shoreditch shall be seen. What 'tis to serve the great Utopian Queen. This fearful period with great joyful care. Was heard with acclamations, and in fine. The whilst a lad of aged Nestors years, Stood sitting in a Throne of massy yeast, (Not speaking any word) gave this reply : Most conscript Umpire in this various Orb, I saw the Cedars of old, Lebanon, Read a sad Lecture unto Clap ham heath. At which time a strange vision did appear. His head was Buckram, and his eyes were sedge. His arms were blue bottles, his teeth were straw. 4 Sir Gregory Nonsense; His legs were nine well squar'd Tobacco Pipes, Cloth'd in a garment all of Dolphins eggs, Then with a voice erected to the ground, Lifting aloft his hands unto his feet, We thus began, Cease friendly cutting throats. Clamour the Promulgation of your tongues. And yielded to Demagorgons policy. Stop the refulgent method of your moods. For should live old Paphlagonias years. And with Sardanapalus match in virtue. Yet Atropos will with a Marigold, Run through the Mountains of the Caspian Sea. When you shall see above yon and beneath. That nothing kills a man so soon as death, Aqicarms join'd with Pisces, in firm league. With Reasons and vindictive Arguments, That pulveriz'd the King of Diamonds, And with a diogorical relapse, Squeaz d through the Cinders of a Butterfly, Great Oberon was mounted on a Wasp, To signify this news at Dunstable. The Weathercock at Pancrage in a fume. With Patience much distracted hearing this, Reply'd thus briefly without fear or wit. What madness doth thy Pericranion seize. Beyond the Dragons tail Artiphilax. Think'st thou a Wolf thrust though a sheep-skin glove. His News from no Place. 5 Can make me take this Goblin for a Lamb : Or that a Crocodile in Barley broth, Is not a dish to feast don Belzebub, Give me a Medlar in a field of blue, Wrapt up stigmatically in a dream. And I will send him to the gates of Dis, To cause him fetch a sword of massy Chalk, With which he won the fatal Theban field, From Romes great mitred Metropolitan. Much was the quoil this braving answer made. When presently a German Conjurer, Did ope a learned Book of Palmistry, Cram'd full of mental reservations : The which beginning with a loud low voice. With affable and kind discourtesy, He spake what no man heard or understood, Words tending unto this or no respect. Spawn of a Tortoise hold thy silent noise. For when the great Leviathan of Trumps, Shall make a breach in Sinons Tennis Court. Then shall the pigmy might Hej^acles, Skip like a wilderness in Woodstreet Counter, The Taurtcs shall in league with Hannibal, Draw Bacchtts dry, whilst Boreas in a heat, Envelop'd in a Gown of Icicles : With much discretion and great want of wit, Leave all as wisely as it was at first. I mused much how those things could be done. 6 Sir Gregory Nonse^ise : When straight a water Tankard answer'd me, That it was made with a Parenthesis, With thirteen yards of Kersey and a half, Made of fine flax which grew on Goodwin sands, Whereby we all perceived the Hernshaws breed, Being trusted with a charitable doom, Was near Bunhill, when straght I might descry, The Quintescence of Grub street well distilled Through Cripplegate in a contagious Map. Bright Phceton all angry at the sight, Snatcht a large Wool-pack from the pismires mouth. And in a Tailors Thimble boil'd a Cabbage. Then all the standers-by, most Reverend, rude, Judg'd the case was most obscure and clear. And that three salt Enigramates well apply'd With fourscore Pipers and Arions Harp, Might catch GaraganttLa through an auger-hole, And 'twas no doubt but mully Mahomet, Would make a quaffing bowl of Goi^gons skull. Whilst gormondizing Tantalus would weep. That Polypheme should kiss Auroras lips, Tri-formed Cinthia in a Cinquefoil shape. Met with the Dogstar on Saint Davids day. But said Grimalki^i mumbling up the Alps, Made fifteen fustain fumes of Pastycrust. This was no sooner known at Amsterdam, But with an Ethiopian Argosy, Man'd with Flap-dragons, drinking upsy-freeze, His News from no Place. 7 They past the purple gulf of Basingstoke. This being finished, search to an end, A full odd number of just sixteen dogs. Drenched in a sulphur flame of scalding Ice, Sung the Besonian Whirlpools of Argeire, Mixt with pragmatical potatoe pies, With that I turn'd my ears to see these things. And on a crystal wall of Scarlet dye, I with mine eyes began to hear and note, What these succeeding verses might portend. Which furiously an Anabaptist squeak'd, The audience deafly list'ning all the while. A most learned-Lye, and Illiterate Oration, in lame galloping Rhyme, fustainly pronounced by Nimshag, a Gimnosophical Philosopher, in the presence of Achitophel Smell-smock, Annani-Ass, Aretine, Iscariot-Nabal, Fransiscus Ra-viliaco, Garnetto Jebusito, Guido Salpetro • Favexit Povderio, and many other grave Senators of Limbo. Translated out of the vulgar Language, of Terra incognita, and is as material as any part of the Book the meaning whereof a blind man may see withont Spectacles as well at midnight as at noon day. [HE Story of Richardo, and of Bindo, Appear'd like N'ihcs peeping through a I window : Which put the wand'ring Jew in much amazement, In seeing such a voice without the casement. When lo a Bull, (long nourish'd in Cocitus, With sulphur horns sent by the Emp'ror Titus, Ask'd a stigmatic Paracelsia?i question, If Alexander ever lov'd Ephestion, Sir Gregory Nonsense, &c. 9 I seeing each to other were much adverse, In mirth and sport set down their minds in sad verse, Which as my brains with care have coin'd and minted, With plenteous want of judgment here 'tis printed. But if Grimalkin take myHne in dudgeon. The case is plain, I pray good Readers judge ye on, That y^sop that old fabulistic Phrygian, From the Nocturnal flood or lake call'd Stygian, Came to the Court at Greet, clad like a Legate, The Porter kindly to him open'd the Gate, He past through Plutoes Hall in Hell most horrid, Where gnashing cold mixt with combustions torrid, Where all things that are good and goodness wanted, Where plants of mans perdition still are planted, Where Ghosts and Goblins all in sulphur suited, And all the fiends like Cuckolds were cornuted. At last he audience got in PltUoes presence. And of his whole Embassage this was the sense : To thee Tartarian Monarch now my Rhyme-is, And therefore mark my Prologue, or Imprimis, Thou that in Limbo art as 'twere Rex Regnant, Bear with my wit, which is not sharp or pregnant, I come from Hounsditch, Long-lane, and from Bridewell, Where all that have liv'd ill, have all not died well, lO Sir Gregory Nonsense : Where as the Vices show Hke Virtues Cardinal, Where's money store, . and conscience very hard in all, Through thy protection they are monstrous thrivers, Not like the Dutchman in base Doits and Stivers, For there you may see many a greedy grout-head, Without wit, or sense, almost without-head. Held and esteemed a man whose zeal is fervent, And makes a show as he were not your servant. To tell this news I came from many a mile hence, For we do know there's odds 'twixt talk and silence. With that the smug-fac'd Phcto shook his vestment, Deep ruminating what the weighty Jest meant, Calling to mind old Dodonceus Herbal, With Taciturnity and Actions verbal, Quoth he, I care not for Friend or Kinsman, Nor do I value honesty two pins man : But 'tis a Maxim Mortals cannot hinder, The doughty deeds of Wakefields huff-cap Pindar, Are not so pleasant as the fair Aurora, When Nimrod rudely played on his Bandora. For 'tis not fit that any Turk or Persian, Should in a Cloak-bag hide a fever Tertian, Because the Dog-star in his cold Meridian, Might arm himself in fury most quotidian. With that, most quick a Pettifoggers tongue went, (Well oil'd with Atirum Argent, or such Unguent) Is't fit (quoth he) here should be such encroachment, His News from no Place. By such whose fathers ne'er knew what a Coach meant ; Or shall their Scutchions fairly be endorsed, Who riding backward jadishly were horsed ? For though in India it be rare and frequent, Where to the wall most commonly the weak went. Yet neither can the Soldan or the Sophy, Shew any Precedents for such a Trophy. By Rules of Logic, he's a kind a Cative, And makes no reckoning of his Country native. That doth with feeble strength, love with derision. And without bloodshed makes a deep incision, Why should a man lay either life or limb ny, To be endangered by a falling Chimney. For though the prosecution may be quaintly, Yet may the execution end but faintly, Let's call to mind the famous acts of Hector, When aged Ganymede carousing Nectar, Did leave the Greeks much matter to repine on ; Until the Wooden- Horse of trusty Synon, Foal'd a whole litter of mad Colts in Harness, As furious as the host of Holof ernes. But to the purpose here's the long and short on't, All that is said, hath not been much important, Nor can it be that what is spoke is meant all, Of any thing that happens accidental. We will examine wisely what the Foe sent, And whether he be innocent or nocent. 12 Sir Gregory Noitsense : In weighty matters let's not be too serious, There's many an Eunuch hath been thought vene- reous, And 'tis a thing which often hath been heard on, That he that labours, doth deserve his Guerdon. Let us the first precedent time examine, You'll find that hunger is the cause of famine. The Birds in Summer that have sweetly chirped. Ere winter hath been done, have been extirped. He may wear Robes, that ne'er knew what a Rag meant, And he that feasts, may fast without a fragment, The end proves all, I care not for the Interim, Time now that summers him, will one day winter him. To outward view, and Senses all exterior. Amongst all fools I never saw a verier, Than he that doth his liberty prohibit. To fall in danger of a fatal Jibbet. Nor for this purpose here to talk come I, How silver may be mock'd with Alchemy. I oft have heard that many a Hawk have muted, Whereby the Falconers Clothes have been polluted, This may be avoided if the Knight Sir Reverence, Be wary with a negligent perseverance : For men of Judgment never think it decent. To love a stinking Pole-cat well for the scent. But if a man should seriously consider. Where Charity is fled or who hath hid her, His News from no Place. 13 He in the end would give this worthy sentence, The earth hath been accursed since she went hence, The times are biting, and the days Caniculer, And mischief girds about the Globes orbiculer, How from the Country all the plain Rusticity, Lives by deceit, exiling plain simplicity. A face like Rubies mix'd with Alabaster, Wastes much in Physic, and her water-caster, That whosoev'r perceives which way the stink went, May scent and censure she's a great delinquent. Why should a Bawd be furr'd Budge and Miniver, As if she was a Lady, or Queen Gtdniver, When as perhaps there's many a modest Matron, Hath scarcely meat, or money, clothes, or patron ? And wherefore should a man be grown so stupid ; To be a slave to Venus or to Ctcpidf He's but a fool that hoping for a vain prize, Being captived can have no bail or main prize. For he that hath no shift let him determine. He shall be bitten with Fleas, Lice or vermin. This being all his speeches, Pia Mater, He call'd a Sculler, and would go by water: When straight the Stygian Ferryman a rare one. Old amiable currish courteous Charon, Row'd with a whirl-wind through the Acheron tic, And thence unto the Azure Sea propontic. There Nephcne in a burning blue Pavilion, In state did entertain this slow Postilion, 14 Sir Gregory Nonsense : There Proteus in a Robe of twisted Camphire, With a grave beard of monumental Samphire, Quoth he, shall we whose Ancestors were war-like, Whose rich Perfumes were only Leeks and Garlic, Whose noble deeds nocturnal and diurnal, Great Towns and Towers did topsy turvy turn all. Shall all their valour be in us extinguish'd ? Great Jove forbid, there should be such a thing wish'd, Though Cleopatra was Octavians rival. It is a thing that we may well connive all. Amongst the Ancient it is undisputable, That women and the winds were ever mutable, And 'tis approved where people are litigious, There every Epicure is not religious, Old Oceanus knowing what they meant all, Brought Zephyrus unto the Oriental, And he by Argument would prove that love is A thing that makes a wise man oft a Novice : For 'tis approv'd, a Greyhound or a Beagle, Were not ordain'd or made to hunt the Eagle, Nor can the nimblest Cat that came from Gotham, Search the profundity of Nepttmes bottom. Let roaring Cannons with the Welkin parley. It's known, good liquor may be made with Barley, And by experience many are assured. Some grounds are fruitful, if they be manured. For in the rudiments of health or sanity, His News from no Place, 15 An arrant Whore is but a price of vanity : Some men with fury will procrastinate, And some with leaden speed make haste in at, But in conclusion many things impurely, Die in the birth, and never end maturely. The man that seeketh straying minds to wean all, From venial vices, or offences penal : Had he the forces of the Turkish Navy, He would lye down at last and cry peccavi, Of one thing I have oftentimes took notice, The fool that's old, and rich, much apt to dote is ; And by the light of Polhtx and of Castor, A Wolf in Shepherds weeds is no good Pastor. Those that do live a Comic life by Magic, Their Scenes in their Catastrophes are tragic. And he that o'er the world would be chief Primate, May give occasion for wise men to rhyme at. Before men fell to wrangling disagreement. A Lawyer understood not what a fee meant : It was a time when Guilt did fear no censure, But love, and peace, and charity was then sure. Now fathers (for their bread) dig and delve it. The whilst the Satin Sons are lin'd with Velvet. Thus do I make a hotch potch mess of Nonsense, In dark enigmas, and strange sense upon sense : It is not foolish all, nor is it wise all. Nor it is true in all, nor is it Hes all. I have not shew'd my wits acute or fluent, i6 Sir Gregory Nonsense : Nor told which way of late the wandering Jew went : For mine own part I never cared greatly, (So I farewell) where those that dress the meat lie. A miserable Knave may be close fisted, And prodigal expence may be resisted, I neither care what Tom, or Jack, or Dick said, I am resolv'd and my mind is fixed, The case is, not as he, or I, or you said, Truth must be found, and witnesses produced. My care is, that no captious Reader bear hence. My understanding, wit, or reason here-hence. On purpose to no purpose, I did write all. And so at noon I bid you here all good night. HEN with a touchbox of transalpine tar, Turning thrice round, and stirring not a jot, He threw five ton of red hot purple Snow, Into a Pigmys mouth, nine inches square. Which straight with melancholy mov'd. Old Bembtts Burgomaster of Pickt-hatch, That plunging through the Sea of TtLrnbull street^ He safely did arrive at Smithfield Bars. Then did the Turntripes on the Coast of France, Catch fifteen hundred thousand grasshoppers. With fourteen Spanish Needles bumbasted, Poach'd with the Eggs of fourscore Flanders Mares, Mounted upon the foot of Caucaszcs, They whirl'd the football of conspiring fate. And brake the shins of smug-fac'd MiUciber : With that grim Pluto all in Scarlet blue. Gave fair Proserpina a kiss of brass, At which all Hell danc'd Trenchmore in a string. Whilst Acheron, and Termagant did sing. The Mold-warp all this while in white broth bath'd, Did Carol Didoes happiness in love, 1 8 Sir Gregory Nonsense, &c. Upon a Gridiron made of whiting-mops, Unto the tune of ^ohn come kiss me now, At which Avernus Music gan to roar, Enthron d upon a seat of three-leav'd grass. Whilst all the Hibernian Kernes in multitudes, Did feast with Shamrocks stew'd in Usquebaugh. At which banquet made of Monopolies, Took great distate, because the Pillory Was hunger-starv'd for want of Villains ears, Whom to relieve, there was a Mittimus, Sent from Tartaria in an oyster boat, At which the King of China was amaz'd, And with nine grains of Rhubarb stellified. As low as to the altitude of shame. He thrust four Onions in a Candle-case, And spoil'd the meaning of the worlds misdoubt. Thus with a Dialogue of crimson starch, I was inflamed with a num-cold fire, Upon the tenterhooks of Charlemagne, The Dogstar howl'd, the Cat a Mountain smil'd, And Sisyphus drank Muscadel and eggs. In the horn'd hoof of huge Bucephalus, Time turn d about, and show'd me yesterday, Clad in a Gown of mourning had I wist. The motion was almost too late they said. Whilst sad despair made all the World stark mad, They all arose, and I put up my pen. It makes no matter, where, why, how, or when. Some Sense at last to the Learned. OU that in Greek and Latin learned are, And of the ancient Hebrew have a share, You that most rarely oftentimes have sung In the French, Spanish, or Italian tongue, Here I in English have employed my pen, To be read by the learnedest Efiglishmen, Wherein the meanest Scholar plain may see, I understand their tongues, as they do me. FINIS. Printed at London by N. O. 1622. A Yerry Merry YYherry-Ferry- Voyage : OR Yorke for my Money : Sometimes Perilous, sometimes Quarrellous, Performed with a paire of Oares, by Sea from London, by Iohn Taylor, and Iob Pennell. And written by I. T. LONDON. Imprinted by Edw: All-de. 1622. AS MUCH HAPPINESS AS MAY BE WISHED ATTEND The Two hopeful Imps, of Gentility and Learning, Mr. Richard and George Hatton. OU forward pair, in towardly designs, To you I send these soused salt-water lines : Accept, read, laugh, and breathe, and to't again, And still my muse, and I, shall yours remain. John Taylor PROLOGUE. NO W intend a Voyage here to write, From London tmto York, help to indite^ Great Neptune lend thy aid to me^ who past Through thy tempestuo^^s waves with many a blast, And then I'll ti'iLc describe the towns, and men, And manners, as I went and came agen. VERY MERRY-WHERRY-FERRY VOYAGE; OR, YORK FOR MY MONEY. HE Year which I do call as others do, Full 1600. adding twenty^two : tfourLoTd. The Month of ^iify that's for ever fam'd, (Because 'twas so by^ yttlius Ccssar nam'd) ^amSVoX ^ . Caesar. when six days, and to each Just day six days night, The dogged"" Dog-days had began to bite. On that day which doth blest Remembrance bring. The name of an Apostle, and our King, On that remarkable good day. Saint James^ I undertook my Voyage down the Thames. The Sign in Cancer,^ or the ribs and breast. And yEohi^s blew sweetly. West Southwest. Then after many farewells, cups and glasses, (Which oftentimes hath made men worse than asses,) c. The dog- days were 6 days entered. d. I observe signs, winds, tides, days, hours, times, situations and manners 2 A very Merry- Whtrry- Ferry Voyage, %u'iiuk{it About the waist or^ navel of the day, so. ^ Not being dry or drunk, I went my way. Our Wherry somewhat old, or struck in age, That had endur'd near 4. years Pilgrimage, And carried honest people, Whores, and Thieves, uXrbTr's Some Sergeants, Bailiffs, and some-^ under-Sheriffs, chairs, hack- « , . , •, , neys. or And now at last It was her lot to be whores : ZTTstatTs. Th' adventurous bonny bark to carry me. But as an old whores beauty being gone Hides Natures wreck, with Art like painting on: So I with colours finely did repair My boats defaults, and made her fresh and fair. • Thus being furnish'd with good wine and beer. And bread and meat (to banish hungers fear) With Sails, with Anchor, Cables, Sculls and Oars, With Card and Compass, to know Seas and Shores, With Lanthorn, Candle, Tinder-box and Match, And with good courage, to work, ward, and watch. Well man'd, well ship'd, well victual'd, well ap- pointed, Well in good health, well timbered and well jointed, All wholly well, and yet not half fox'd^ well, Twixt Kent, and Essex, we to Gravesend fell. There I had welcome of my friendly Host, (A Gravesend trencher, and a Gravesend toast) "^Half-Foxed. — Timber is said to be foxcd^ when it becomes discoloured in consequence of incipient decay. A very Merry -Wherry -Ferry Voyage. 3 Good meat and lodging at an easy rate, And rose betimes, although I lay down late. Bright Lticifer the Messenger of day, His burnished twinkling splendour did display: Rose cheek'd Auro7^a hid her blushing face. She spying Phoebus coming gave him place, V^YiA'sXZephyrtis, and Attster, mix'd j:ogether, Breath'd gently, as fore-boding pleasant weather; Old Nephme had his Daughter Thames supplied. With ample measure of a flowing tide. But Thames supposed it was but borrowed goods. And with her ebbs, paid Nepttme back his floods. Then at the time of this auspicious dawning, I roused my men, who scrubbing, stretching, yawning, Arose, left Gravesend, rowing down the stream, And near to Lee, we to an anchor came. Because the sand were bare, and water low. We rested there, till it two hours did flow : And then to travel went our galley-foist,* Our anchor quickly weigh'd, our sail soon hoist. Where thirty miles we past, a mile from shore. The water two'" foot deep, or little more. ^. Tkcm m Thus past we on the brave East Saxon Coast caiud'tha From 3. at morn, till 2. at noon almost. By Shoebury, Wakering, Fotihiess, Tillingham^ And then we into deeper water came. There is a crooked bay runs winding far, * Galley Foist — A long barge with oars. 4 A very Merry- Wherry -Ferry Voyage. To Maldon, Estreford, and Colchester, Which cause 'twas much about, (to ease mens pain) I left the land, and put into the main. With speed, the crooked way to scape and pass, I made out straight for Frinton and the Nass. But being 3. leagues then from any land. And holding of our main-sheet in my hand, AVe did espy a coal-black cloud to rise. Forerunner of some tempest from the skies ; Scarce had we sail'd a hundred times our length, But that the wind beQ^an to o-ather streno^th : Stiff yFolus with Neptune went to cuffs : With huffs, and puffs, and angry counter-buffs. From boisterous gusts, they fell to fearful flaws, Whilst we 'twixt wind and water, near Deaths jaws. Tost like a cork upon the mountain main, Up with a whiff, and straightway down again, At which we in our minds much troubled were. And said, God bless its all, what weather s here f For (in a word) the seas so high did grow. That ships were forc'd to strike their topsails low : Meantime (before the wind) we scudded brave. Much like a duck, on top of every wave. But nothing violent is permanent, And in short space away the Tempest went. So farewell it ; and you that Readers be. Suppose it was no welcome Guest to me : ^ly company and I, it much perplext, A very Merry-W her ry- Ferry Voyage. 5 And let it come when I send for it next. But leaving jesting, Thanks to God I give, 'Twas through his mercy we did scape and live, And though these things with mirth I do express, Yet still I think on God with thankfulness. Thus ceased the storm, and weather gan to smile, And we row'd near the shore of H or sly Isle. Then did illustrious Titan gin to steep His chariot in the Western Ocean deep We saw the far-spent day, withdraw his light, And made for Harwich, where we lay all night. There did I find an Hostess with a tono^ue As nimble as it had on gimmals"'' hung : 'Twill never tire, though it continual toil'd. And went as yare, as if he had been oil'd : All's one for that, for ought which I perceive, It is a fault which all our Mothers have: And is so firmly grafted in the sex, That he's an ass that seems thereat to vex. Apollos beams began to gild the hills And West Southwest the wind the welkin fills, When I left Harwich, and along we row'd Against a smooth calm flood that stifly flow'd. By Bawdsey Haven, and by Or ford Nass, And so by Aldborough we at last did pass. By Lowestoff to Yarmouth made our way, Our third days travel being Saturday, There did I see a town well fortified, *GlMMAL. — Any joined work whose parts move within each othei"j 6 A very Merry- Wherry-Ferry Voyage. Well govern'd, with all Natures wants supplied; The situation in a wholesome air, The buildings (for the most part) sumptuous fair, The people courteous, and industrious, and With labour makes the sea enrich the land. Besides (for ought I know) this one thing more. The town can scarcely yield a man a whore : It is renowned for fishing, far and near, iV5/o^'?r*And sure in Britain it hath not a pheer/ fshing!^ But noble Nash, thy fame shall live always, {. A look Thy witty Pamphlet, the red' Herring praise, i/(«pna.« o/Hath done pfreat YarmotUh much renowned rie^ht, the Eecl o o ' Herruig. artless Muse to silence quite. On Sunday we a learned sermon had. Taught to confirm the good, reform the bad. Acquaintance in the town I scarce had any. And sought for none, in fear to find too many, i. And ashipyinQli kindness to me by mine Host was done, Carpenter, J ' (A Mariner' nam'd William Richardson) Besides mine Hostess gave to me at last, A cheese with which at sea we break our fast. The gift was round, and had no end indeed. But yet we made an end of it with speed: My thanks surmounts her bounty, all men sees. My gratitudes in print: but where's the Cheese, So on the Monday, betwixt one and twain, I took leave, and put to sea again, Down YarmozUh Road we row'd with cutting speed, A very Merry- Wherry-Ferry Voyage. 7 (The wind all quiet, arms must do the deed) Along by Castor, and sea-bordering towns, Whose cliffs and shores abide stern Neptunes frowns. Sometimes a mile from land, and sometimes two, (As depths or sands permitting us to do) Till drawing towards night, we did perceive The wind at East, and Seas began to heave : The rolling billows all in fury roars And tumbled us, we scarce could use our oars : Thus on a lee-shore darkness began to come. The Sea grew high, the winds 'gan hiss and hum: The foaming curled waves the shore did beat, (As if the Ocean would all Norfolk eat) To keep at sea was dangerous I did think, To go to land I stood in doubt to sink : Thus landing, or not landing (I suppos'd) We were in periP round about inclos'd ; 3. Were we in a puzzle. At last to row to shore I thought it best, 'Mongst many evils, thinking that the least: My men all pleas'd to do as I command. Did turn the boats head opposite to land. And with the highest wave that I could spy, I bade them to row to shore immediately. When straight we all leap'd over-board in haste, Some to the knees, and some up to the waist, Were suddenly 'twixt owl-light and the dark. We pluck'd the boat beyond high-water mark. 8 A very Merry- Wherry -Ferry Voyage. And thus half soused, half stewed, with Sea and sweat, We land at Cromer Town, half dry, half wet. But we supposing all was safe and well, shunning^ Scylla, on Chary bdis fell : fSw^^For why, some women, and some children there Stol/St That saw us land, were all possessed with fear : to save -L themselves, js^^^ much amaz'd, ran crying up and down, That enemies were come to take the town. Some said that we were Pirates, some said Thieves, And what the women says, the men believes. With that four Constables did quickly call, Your Aid ! to Arms your men of Cromer all ! Then straightway forty men with rusty Bills, Some arm'd in ale, all of approved skills, Divided into four stout Regiments, To guard the Town from dangerous events ; L^iam^ro/Brave Captain^ Pescod did the Van-guard lead, some Cro- ' And Captain Clarke the Rearward governed, morian Constables. Whilst Captain Wiseman, and hot Captain Kimble, Were in main Battalia fierce and nimble: One with his squadron watch'd me all the night, Lest from my lodging I should take my flight : A second (like a man of simple note) Did by the sea side all night watch my boat, The other two, to make their names renowned. Did guard the Town, and bravely walk the round. And thus my boat, myself, and all my men, A very Merry- Wherry -Ferry Voyage. 9 Were stoutly guarded, and regarded then : For they were all so full with fear possessed, That without mirth it cannot be expressed. My invention doth curvet, my Muse doth caper. My pen doth dance out lines upon the paper, And in word I am as full of mirth, As mighty men are at their first sons birth. Methinks Moriscoes are within my brains, And Heys, and Antics run through all my veins : Heigh, to the tune of Trenchmore'^' I could write The valiant men of Cromers sad affright : As sheep do fear the wolf, or geese the fox. So all amazed were these senseless blocks : That had the town been fir'd, it is a doubt, But that the women there had pist it out. And from the men reek'd such a fearful scent. That people three miles thence mus'd what it meant, And he the truth that narrowly had sifted, ahZt,'tT^' know ivhat Had found the Constables, had need t'have shifted, ^^'as?""*^''' They did examine me, I answer'd then I was yokn Taylor and a Waterman, And that my honest fellow Job and I, Were servants to King James his Majesty, How we to York, upon a mart were bound, And that we landed, fearing to be drown'd, When all this would not satisfy the crew, I freely ope'd my trunk, and bade them view, I shew'd them Books, of Chronicles and Kings, *Trenchmore. — A boisterous dance to a lively tune. lo A very Merry-W herry-I" erry Voyage. n. I had as good have Some prose, some verse, and idle sonnetings, I shew'd them all my Letters to the full : Some to Yorks Archbishop, and some to Hull, But had the twelve Apostles sure been there My witnesses, I had been ne'er the** near. saidnothing, Ict me use all Oaths that I could use, They still were harder of belief than Jews. They wanted Faith, and had resolv'd before, Not to believe what e'er we said or swore. They said the world was full of much deceit, l^ca-r^ And that my Letters might be' counterfeit : Besides, there's one thing bred the more dislike. Because mine Host was known a Catholic. These things concurring, people came in clusters, And multitudes within my lodging musters, That I was almost worried unto death. In danger to be stifled with their breath. And had mine Host took pence apiece of those, Who came to gaze on me, I do suppose^ No yack an Apes, Baboon, or Crocodile p. The dan- . 1 1 i • i cing on the £ gj- prot more mouev in so small a^ while. ropes, or a o J haFcome^'^' Besldes, the peasants did this one thing more, short of his ^accotting They call'd and drank four shillings on my score : 5s/'''* And like unmannerd mongrels went their way, moj-e than I Not spending ought, but leaving me to^ pay. wuungij 'pj^jg household business in mean space Some rascals ran unto my boat apace. And turn'd and tumbled her, like men of Gotham, A very Merry- Wherry -Ferry Voyage. 1 1 Quite topsy turvy upward with her bottom, Vowing they would in tatters piece-meal tear They cursed Pirates boat, that bred their fear ; And I am sure, their madness (to my harm) Tore a board out, much longer than mine arm. And they so bruis'd, and split our wherry, that She leaked, we cast our water with a hat. Now let men judge, upon this truths revealing. If Turks or Moors could use more barb'rous dealing ; Or whether it be fit I should not write Their envy, foolish fear, and mad despite. What may wise men conceive, when they shall note, That five unarmed men, in a wherry boat, Naught to defend, or to offend with stripes. But one old"" sword and two Tobacco- Pipes, r. And the i- ' sword was And that of Constables a murnivall,^ L^KS. 1-11 11 • 1 ^''"'^ Men, women, children, all m sfeneral, need of a ' ' ' o ' quarters And that they all should be so valiant, wise, "'^ To fear we would a Market Town surprise. In all that's writ I vow I am no liar, I muse the beacons were not set on fire. The dreadful names of Talbot, or of Drake, Ne'er made the foes of England more to quake Than I made Cromer ; for their fear and dolor. Each man might smell out by his neighbours' choler. At last the joyful morning did approach, And Sol began to mount his flaming coach : *MURNIVALL. — Four cards of the same rank. 12 A very Merry- Wherry- Ferry Voyage. Then did I think my Purgatory done, And 'rose betimes intending to be gone ; But holla! stay, 'twas otherways with me, The mass of Constables were shrunk to three : Sweet Mr. Pescods double diligence Had horsed himself, to bear intelligence To Justices of Peace within the land. What dangerous business there was now in hand : There was I forc'd to tarry all the while. Till some said he rode four and twenty mile, In seeking men of Worship, Peace and Quorum, Most wisely to declare strange news before um. And whatsoever tales he did recite, Fm sure he caus'd Sir Austin Palgrave, Knight, And Mr. Robert Kemp a Justice there Came before me, to know how matters were. As conference 'twixt them and I did pass. They quickly understood me what I was : And though they knew me not in prose and looks, They had read of me in my verse, and books ; My businesses account I there did make. And I and all my company did take The lawful Oath of our Allegiance then. By which we were believ'd for honest men. In duty, and in all humility I do acknowledge the kind courtesy Of those two Gentlemen ; for they did see. How much the people were deceiv'd in me. A very Merry -Wherry -Ferry Voyage. They gave me coin, and wine, and sugar too, And did as much as lay in them to do. To find them that my boat had torn and rent, And so to give them worthy punishment. Besides Sir* Austin Palgrave bade me this, To go but four miles, where his dwelling is. And I and all my company should there Find friendly welcome, mix'd with other cheer. I gave them thanks, and so I'll give them still. And did accept their cheer in their good will. Then 3. a clock at afternoon and past, I was discharged from Cromer at the last. But for men shall not think that enviously Against this Town I let my lines to fly : And that I do not lie, or scoff, or fable, For them I will write something charitable. It is an i\ncient Market Town that stands Upon a lofty cliff of mouldring sands : The sea against the cliffs doth daily beat. And every tide into the land doth eat, The Town is poor, unable by expense, Against the raging sea to make defence : And every day it eateth further in, Still waiting, washing down the sand doth win, That if some course be not ta'en speedily. The Town's in danger in the Sea to lie. A goodly Church stands on these brittle grounds, 14 A very Merry -Wherry -Ferry Voyage. Not many fairer in Great Britain s bounds : And if the sea shall swallow it, as some fear, Tis not ten thousand pounds the like could rear. No Christian can behold it but with grief, And with my heart I wish them quick relief. So farewell Cromer, I have spoke for thee. Though thou did'st much unkindly deal with me. And honest Mariners, I thank you there Labouriously you in your arms did bear My boat for me, three furlongs at the least. When as the tide of ebb was so decreased. You waded, and you launched her quite afloat. And on your backs you bore us to our boat. The unkindness that I had before, it come. Because the Constables were troublesome : Longed to be busy, would be men of action. Whose labours was their travels satisfaction : Who all were born when wit was out of town, And therefore got but little of their own : longed for So farewell Pescod, Wiseman, Kimble,'' Clarke, employment, 'than hf idle F^^r SOUS of Ignorance (or much more dark) occupied. ' You made me loose a day of brave calm weather. So once again farewell, fare ill together. Then 'longst the Norfolk coast we rowed out-right, To Blackney, when we saw the coming night. The burning eye of day began to wink, And into Thetis lay his beams to shrink : And as he went, stained the departed sky. A very Merry- Wherry Ferry Voyage. 1 5 With red, blue, purple, and vermiUion dye. Till all our Hemisphere laments his lack, And mourning night puts on a robe of black, Bespangled diversely with golden sparks, Some moveable, some Sea-mens fixed marks. The milky way that blest Astraea went. When as she left this Earthly continent. Showed like a Crystal causeway to the Thrones Of Jove and Saturn, paved with precious Stones. Old Oceanus, Nephme!^ Inachus, "of Bivers, Springs, And two and thirty huff-cap'd y^olus, noodsland Had all ta'en truce and were in league combined, No billows foaming, or no breath of Wind ; The solid Earth, the Air, the Ocean deep Seemed as the whole world had been fast asleep. In such a pleasant Even' as this came. I To Blackney, with my Ship and Company : Whereas I found my entertainment good For welcome, drinking, lodging, and for food. The morrow when Latonas Sun 'gan rise, And with his Light illumines mortal eyes : When cocks did crow, and lambs did bleat and blee, I mounted from my couch, and put to sea, Like glass the Oceans face was smooth and calm, The gentle Air breath'd like Arabian balm. Gusts, storms and flaws, lay sleeping in their cells, Whilst with much labour we ow'd o'r the Wells. B 1 6 A very Merry -Wherry Ferry Voyage. ^io^m '"^This was the greatest^ day of work indeed. day. And it behov'd us much, to make much speed: For why, before that day did quite expire, We past the dangerous Wash^ to Lincolnshire. And there in three hours space and little more, We row'd to Boston from the Norfolk shore : Which do report of people that dwell there, Is six and twenty mile, .or very near. The way unknown, and we no Pilot had, Flats, Sands and Shoals ; and Tides all raging mad, Which Sands our passage many times denied, y.sanAsiying Dut US sometlmes'^three or four miles wide, crookedly m -i- ' m"n7t^s 30 Besides the Flood runs there with such great force, three or four ^ . . . ^ miles about That I imagfme it out-runs a horse : at low water <-> And with a head some 4. foot high then roars. It on the sudden swells and beats the Shores. It tumbled us a ground upon the Sands, And all that we could do with wit, or hands. Could not resist it, but we were in doubt, It would have beaten our boats bottom out. It hath less mercy than Bear, Wolf, or Tiger, ^•{fl*?",. And in those Countries it is call'd the'' Hizer. called m Mr, felondpart We much were unacquainted with those fashions, of Polyol- \ie2tTseof much It troubled us with sundry passions : We thought the shore we never should recover, And look'd still when our boat would tumble over. But He that made all with his word of might, Brought us to Boston, where we lodg'd all night treatise of Humber. A very Mei^ry- Wherry Ferry Voyage, 17 The morrow morning when the Sun 'gan peep, I awak'd and rubb'd mine eyes, and shak'd off sleep. And understanding that the River went. From Boston up to Lincoln, and to Trent, To Humber, Ouse, and York, and (taking pain) We need not come in sight of Sea again, I Hk'd the motion, and made haste away To Lincoln, which was 50. mile, that day : Which City in the 3. King Edwards Reign, Was th' only staple, for this Kingdoms gain For Leather, Lead, and Wool, and then was seen Five times ten Churches there, but now fifteen : A brave Cathedral Church there now doth stand. That scarcely hath a fellow in this land : 'Tis for a Godly use, a goodly frame. And bears the blessed Virgin Marys name. The Town is Ancient, and by course of Fate, Through wars, and Time, defac'd and ruinate. But Monarchies, & Empires, Kingdoms, Crowns, Have rose or fell, as Fortune smiles or frowns : And Towns, and Cities have their portions had Of time-tost variations, good and bad. There is a Proverb, part of which is this. They say that Lincoln was, and London is. From thence we past a ditch of weeds and mud, ^ up with Which they do (falsely) there calP Forcedyke Flood : Z^aXtL For ril be sworn, no flood I could find there, iVnmeruis in many But dirt and filth, which scarce my boat would bear -.^i^^st dry. a. It is a passage cut through the land eight miles from Lincoln into Trent, but through either the peoples poverty ornegligence it is grown 1 8 A very Merry -Wherry -Ferry Voyage. 'Tis 8 miles long, and there our pains was such. As all our travel did not seem so much, My men did wade and draw the boat like horses, And scarce could tug her on with all our forces : Moil'd, toil'd, mir'd, tir d, still labr'ing, ever doing. Yet were we 9. long hours that 8. miles going. At last when as the day was well-nigh spent, We got from Forcedykes floodless flood to Trent. Ev'n as the windows of the day did shut, Down Trents swift stream, to Gainsborough we put, There did we rest until the morning star. The joyful doors of dawning did unbar : To Numbers churlish streams, our course we fram'd, So nam'd for drowning of a King so nam'd. And there the swift ebb tide ran in such sort, The wind at East, the waves break thick and short ; That in some doubts, it me began to strike. For in my life, I ne'r had seen the like. My way was up to York, but my intent Was contrary, for from the fall of Trent h. I went P fifteen mile went downwards East Northwest, fifteen mile rin"^ ^'^'"When as my way was upward West Southwest, Humber on . , . i . i , i purpose to And as ag^amst the wmd we madly venture, see Hull, ^ ^ •j' ' ZlTqS^^T^^^ waves like Pirates board our^oat and erjter, contrary. though they came in fury, and amain, Like Thieves we cast them over-board again. A very Merry- Wherry -Ferry Voyage, , 1 9 This conflict lasted two honrs to the full, Until we gat to Kingston upon Hull : For to that Town I had proved a friend, That Letters did and Commendations send By me unto the worthy Magistrate, The Mayor, and some ofs Brethren, in that State. Besides I had some letters, of like charge. From my good friend, the Master of the Large, Unto some friends of his, that they would there Give me'' Htdl Cheese, and welcome and goQdL<^minaicese cheer. Sunday at Mr. Mayors much cheer and wine, Where as the Hall did in the Parlour dine. At night with one that had been Sheriff I sup'd. Well entertain'd I was, and half well Cup'd : On Monday noon, I was invited then To a grave Justicer, an Alderman, And there such cheer as Earth and Waters yield, Shew'd like a harvest in a plenteous Field. Another I must thank for his good will. For he Presf on to bid. me welcome still. There is a Captain of good Life and Fame, And, God with us, I oft have calFd his Name, He welcom'd me, as I had been his fellow. Lent me his silken Colours, Black and Yellow, Which to our mast made fast, we with a drum Did keep, till we to York in triumph come. Thanks to my loving Host and Hostess Pease, is much like a loaf out of a brewers basket, it is composed of two simples, malt and water, in one compound, and is cousin Genu J n to the mightiest ale in England. d.Th6 m6aiu ing of those marks are only known to the toivns. men there. 20 A very Merry-W her ry- Ferry Voyage. There at mine Inn, each night I took mine ease : And there I got a cantle^ of Htill Cheese e An ingenu- One Evening^ late, I thank thee^ Maccabees. ous man MachLeus. Kind Rogcr Parker, many thanks to thee, Thou shew'dst much undeserved love to me. Laid my boat safe, spent time, coin and endea- vour, And mad'st money counted copper ever : But as at feasts, the first course being past, Men do reserve their dainties till the last, So my most thanks I ever whil'st I live. Will to the Mayor, and his Brethren give, But most of all, to shut up all together /. m. 1. 1. I give him thanks that did commend-^ me thither, Their loves (like Httmber) overflowed the banks, And though I ebb in worth, I'll flow in thanks. Thus leaving off the men, now of the town Some things which I observ'd Til here set down : And partly to declare it's praise and worth, It is the only Bulwark of the North. All other Towns for strength to it may strike, And all the Northern parts have not the like. The people from the Sea much wealth have won, Each man doth live as he were Nep tunes Son. Th' Antiquity thereof a man may read In Reverend Camdens works, and painful Speed: How in King Edwards Reign first of that name ^Cantle of Hull Cheese. — i.e.., a portion of strong ale. A very Merry -Wherry -Ferry Voyage. 21 Then called Wyke. Then did they Kingston frame, And then the Townsmen cut a^ River there, ^. r^ie riw,. An ex'lent Haven, a Defence or Pier : muefln^^' length, cut Built with excessive charge, to save it from SLT,7o Fierce Humbers Ras^inp^, that each Tide doth come, commodity t> t>y of the From time to time, more Greatness still it gained, Till lately when the Eighth King Henry Reign'd, He made it greater by his often resort. And many times kept there his Royal Court, He Wall'd it well, built Battlements, and Gates, And (more with Honour to augment their States) He built two Blockhouses, and Castle strong. To Guard the Town from all Invasive wrong. He gave them much Munition, Swords, Shafts, Bows, And Brazen Ordnance, as the world well knows, Which Guns he gave them for the Towns defence, But were in 88. all borrowed thence. With promise they again should be sent back : But the performance ever hath been slack. Now in this Iron age, their Guns I see, Are metal like the Age, and Iron be : And glad they would be, if they could obtain. To change that metal, for their own again. Four well built Gates, with bolts, and locks, and bars. For ornament or strength, in Peace or Wars; Besides, to keep their Foes the further out. They can Drown all the Land three miles about, 22 A very Merry -Wherry -Ferry Voyage. 'Tis plentifully serv'd with Flesh and Fish, As cheap, and reasonable men can wish. And thus by Gods grace, and mans industry, Dame Nature, or mens Art does it supply. Some lo years since fresh water there was scant, But with much cost they have supplied that want ; By a most ex'lent water- works that's made. And to the Town in pipes it is convey'd. Wrought with most Artificial engines, and Performed by th' art of the Industrious hand h. He built Of Mr.'' William Maultby, Gentleman, another fair mtYork^of So that each man of note there always can wMchd7th But turn a cock within his house, and still the City ' lerviee!"^ They have fresh-water always at their will. This have they all unto their great content. For which, they each do pay a yearly rent. There is a Proverb, and a Prayer withal, That we may not to three strange places fall : From Hull, from Halifax, from Hell, 'tis thus, From all these three, Good Lord deliver its. This praying Proverb's meaning to set down. Men do not wish deliverance from the Town : The towns nam'd Kins^ston, Htdl's the furious River : And from Hulls dangers, I say Lord deliver. At Halifax, the law so sharp doth deal. That whoso more than I 3. Pence doth steal. They have a lyn that wondrous quick and well, Sends thieves all headless unto Heav'n or Hell. A very Merry -Wherry -Ferry Voyage, 23 From Hell each man says, Lord deliver me, Because from Hell can no redemption be : Men may escape from Hull and Halifax, But sure in Hell there is a heavier tax, Let each one for themselves in this agree. And pray, from Hell good Lord deliver me. The Proverb and the Prayer expounded plain. Now to the orders of the town again : I think it merits praise for Government, More than all towns in Britains continent, As first their Charity doth much appear, They for the poor have so' provided there. That if a man should walk from Morn till Night, He shall not see one beggar; nor a mite Or anything shall be demanded ever. But every one there doth their best endeavour To make the idle work, and to relieve Those that are old and past, or sickness grieve. All poor mens children have a house most fit. Whereas they sew, and spin, and card, and knit : Where all of them have something still to do. As their capacities will reach unto. So that no idle person, Old or Young Within the town doth harbour or belong. It yearly costs five hundred pounds besides, To fence the town, from Hull and Humbers tides, For stakes, for bavins,-^ timber, stones, and piles, All which are brought by water many miles, ^Bavin. — A brushwood faggot. 24 A very Merry- Wherry -Ferry Voyage. For workmens labour, and a world of things, Which on the town excessive charges brings. All which with peril, industry and sweat. They from the bowels of the ocean get. They have a Bridewell, and and ex'lent skill, To make some people work against their will : And there they have their lodging and their meat. Clean whips, ^ and every thing exceeding neat : And thus with fair or foul means always, they Give idle persons little time to play. Besides, for every Sea or Marine cause They have a house of' Trinity, whose laws And orders do confirm, or else reform That which is right, or that which wrongs deform. It is is a come!v built w^ell ordered place. But that which most of all the House doth grace, Are rooms for widows, who are old and poor, And have been wives to Mariners before. They are for House-room, food, or lodging, or For firing, Chdstianly provided for. And as some die, some do their places win, As one goes out, another doth come in. Should I in all things give the Town it's due, Some fools would say I flatter d, spake untrue : Or that I partial in my writings were. Because they made me welcome, and good cheer : But for all those that such thoughts of me, I rather wish that them I hang'd may see, =^Whip. — A wisp of straw. A very Merry-Wherry- Ferry Voyage. 25 Then that they justly could report, that I Did rhyme for victuals, hunger to supply ; Or that my Muse, or working brains should beat, To flatter, fawn, or lie, for drink or meat : Let Trencher-poets scrape for such base vails, ni take an oar in hand when writing fails ; And 'twixt the boat and pen, I make no doubt, But I shall shift to pick a living out, Without base flattery, or false coined words, To mouldly Madams, or unworthy Lords ; Or whatsoe'er degree, or Towns, or Nations ; I ever did, and still with scorn such fashions. H,- • 1 • 1 • 1 ^ 3- I write no ear-say,-^ sometimes upon a lie may light, by hearsay. But what I see and know, I dare to write. Mine eyes did view, before my pen set down, These things that I have written of this Town : A new built Custom-house, a fair Town-Hall, For solemn-meeting, or a festival : A Mayor, twelve Aldermen, one Sheriff, Recorder, A Town-clerk, altogether in one order. And uniformity do govern so, They need not flatter friend, or fear a foe, A Sword, a Cap of maintenance, a Mace Great, and well gilt, to do the Town more grace : Are borne before the Mayor, and Aldermen, And on festivities, or high-days then. Those Magistrates their scarlet Gowns do wear, And have six Sergeants to attend each year. 26 A very Merry- Wherry- Ferry Voyage. Now let men say what town in England is, That truly can compare itself with this: For situation, strength and Government, For Charity, for plenty, for content, For state ? and one thing more I there was told. Not one Recusant all the Town doth hold. Nor (as they say) ther's not 2. Puritan, Or any nose-wife fool Precisian, But great and small, with one consent and will. Obey his Majestys Injunctions still. They say that once therein two sisters dwelt, ■ Which inwardly the prick of Conscience felt, They came to London, (having wherewithal) To buy two bibles, all Canonical, Th' Apocrypha did put them in some doubt. And therefore both their books were bound without. Except those two, I ne'er did hear of any At Hull, though many places have too many. But as one scabbed sheep a flock may mar. So there's one man, whose nose did stand ajar : Talk'd very scurvily, and look'd askew. Because I in a worthy Towns-mans pew Was placed at Church, when (God knows I ne'r thought. To sit there, I was by the owner brought,) This Squire of low degree displeased than Said, I at most was but a Water-man, And that they such great kindness setting forth. Made more o'th flesh than e'er the broth was worth : A very Merry- Wherry- Ferry Voyage. 2 7 Which I confess, but yet I answer make, 'Twas more than I with manners could forsake; He sure is some high-minded Pharisee^ Or else infected with their Heresy, And must be set down in their catalogues. They lov'd the highest seats in Synagogues, And so (perhaps) doth he, for ought I know, He may be mounted, when I sit below : But let him not a Water-man despise, For from the water he himself did rise. And winds and water both on him have smil'd Else, the great Merchant he had ne'er been styl'd : His character I finely will contrive. He's scornful proud, and talking talkative : A great ingrosser of strange speech and news. And one that would sit in the highest pews, But bate an ace, he'll hardly win the game. And if I list, I could rake^ out his name. Thanks Mr. Mayor, for my bacon gammon, Thanks Roger Parker, for my small fresh salmon. 'Twas ex'lent good, and more the truth to tell ye, Boil'd with a fine plum-pudding in the belly. The sixth of August, well accompanied With best of Towns-men to the waters side, There did I take my leave, and to my ship I with my drum and colours quickly skip : The one did dub-a-dub and rumble, brave The Ensign in the air did play and wave : fc But I was ever better %vithforhs to scatter, than with rakes to gather,there- fore I would not have the townsmen to mistake chalk for cheese, or Robert for Richard. 28 A very Merry- Wherry-Ferry Voyage, I launch'd, supposing all things had been done, Bounce, from the Block-house, quoth a roaring gun. And waving hats on both sides with content. I cried Adieu, Adieu, and thence we went Up Numbers flood that then amain did swell, Winds calm, and water quiet as a well : We row'd to Ouse with all our force and might, To Cawood, where we well were lodg'd all night. The morrow, when as Phoebus 'gan to smile, I forwards set to York eight little mile : But two miles short of York I landed then, *;d.t^r'''^"To see that reverend^ Metropolitan, 'rigurJer That watchful Shepherd, that with care doth keep end Father ^ Sa?Lt>^''^^Th'infernal wolf, from Heav'ns supernal sheep : ofYort^^^ The painful preacher that, most free Alms-giver, Zeuome. That though he live long, is too short a liver : That man, whose age the poor do all lament, All knowing, when his Pilgrimage is spent. When earth to earth returns, as Natures debtor, They far the proverb, Seldom comes the better. His Doctrine and example speak his due. And what all people says, must needs be true. In duty I most humbly thank his Grace, He at his table made me have a place, And meat and drink, and gold he gave me there. Whilst all my crew i'th Hall were filled with cheer : So having din'd, from thence we quickly past. Through Oitse strong bridge, to York fair City last, A very Merry -Wherry -Ferry Voyage. 29 Our drowning scap'd, more danger was ensuing, 'Twas 'size time there, and Hanging was a brewing : But had our fault been ne'er so Capital, We at the Vintners bar durst answer all. Then to the good Lord Mayor I went, and told What labour, and what dangers manifold, My fellow and myself had past at seas. And if it might his noble Lordship please. The boat that did from London thither swim With us, in duty we would give to him. His Lordship pausing, with a reverend hum, My friend (quoth he) to-morrow morning come : In the mean space I'll of the matter think, And so he bade me to go ne'r and drink. I drank a cup of claret and some beer, And sure (for ought I know) he^ keeps good cheer, I grave his Lordship in red gilded leather, keeping and '-^ X o spending A well bound book of all my works together, Which he did take^. b. Here I make a full There in the City were some men of note, recehSlot That gladly would give money for our boat: eJdmngl. But all this while good manners bade us stay, To have my good Lord Mayor's yea, or nay. But after long demurring of the matter^ uil^duty^ He was well pleas' d to see her on the water, nS^omea dangerous And then my men row'd half an hour or more, IfferVJ'' Whilst he stood viewing her upon the shore. £1/"*^^ magistrate : They bore his Lordships children in her there, {Zuidnot a. There is some odds between 30 A very Merry-Wherry-Ferry Voyage, Tigoodl^ And many others, as she well could bear. monument, - i • i t t ' i • a, Tom At which Honour was exceeding^ merry, Coriats ^ ^ ' Zlitramv- Saying it was a pretty nimble Wherry : ^ionqulnng But wheu my men had taken all this pains, shoes thought ^ ^- Into their eyes they might have put their gains, t'ottoial'i Unto his shop he did^ perambulate, ^3/Ss.And there amongst his bars of iron sate. I ask'd him if he would our boat forgo. Or have her and his Lordship answered No, I took him at his word, and said, good bye, And gladly away with my boat went I. I sold the boat, as I suppos'd most meet, k1lr//rTo honest' Mr, Kayes in Cunny Street : hath been He entertain'd me well, for which I thanked him, shrieve of lowl-em And gratefully amongst my friends I'll rank him. in Cunny My kind remembrance here I put in paper. To worthy Mr. Hemsworth there a draper. Amongst the rest he's one that I most thank. With his good wife, and honest brother Frank Now for the City: 'tis of state and Port, Where Emperors and Kings have kept their Court 989, year of foundation Was laid, before our Saviours Incarnation, {hejinhT^'^y ^Ebranc who a temple there did rear, ofBritian fAnArdi- Aud plac'd a ^Flamen to Diana there: SSTias But when King Lticius here the stepert swayed. as an tS^jS The Idols level with the ground were laid, toDmna. Ekutherms, Rome high bishop plac'd. A very Merry -Wherry -Ferry Voyage. 31 An Archbishop at York, with titles grac'd, Then after Christ 627. Was Edwi7t^ baptized by the grace of heaven, He pluck'd the Minister down, that then was woo( And made it stone, a deed both great and good. The City oft hath known the chance of wars, Of cruel foreign, and of home-bred jars. And those that further please thereof to read, May turn the volumes of great Holinsked, 'Tis large, 'tis pleasant and magnificent. The Norths most fertile famous ornament: 'Tis rich and populous,' and hath indeed No want of anything to serve their need, Abundance doth that noble City make Much abler to bestow, than need to take. So farewell York, the tenth of August then Away I came for London with my men. To dinner I to Pom/ret^ quickly rode. Where good hot venison staid for my abode, I thank thee worshipful George Shillito, He fill'd my men and me, and let us go. There did I well view over twice or thrice, A strong, a fair, and ancient edifice : Re-edifi'd where it was ruined most, At th' high and hopeful Prince^ of Wales his cost. I saw the room where Extod and his rout Of Traitors, royal Richards brains beat out : And if that King did strike so many blows, G /^ Edwin and his whole family were baptized on EJLSter day the Vl.of April 674. i. Yorkshire the greatest shire in England f and 308. miles about speed. j. Pom/ret Castle. k. Prince Charles. I. Sir Pierce o/Exton Knight. KingRichard the second murdered there. 32 A very Merry-Wherry- Ferry Voyage. As hacks and hews upon one pillar shows, There are one hundred slashes, he withstood, Before the Villains shed his Kingly blood. From Pom/ret then, unto my noble friend. Sir Robert Swift at Doncaster we wend. An ancient Knight, of a most generous spirit. Who made me welcome far beyond my merit. From thence by Newark, I to Stamford past, And so in time to London at the last. With friends and neighbours, all with loving hearts, Did welcome me with pottles, pints and quarts. Which made my Muse more glib, and blithe to tell This story of my Voyage. So farewell. An Epilogue. Thus have I brought to end a work of pain, I wish it may reqtdte me with some gam : For well I wot, the dangers where I ventured, No full bagd man would ever durst have entered : But having further shores for to discover Hereafter, now my pen doth here give over. FINIS. A New Discovery BT SEA, With a Wherry from London to Salisbury. By Iohn Taylor. LONDON. Imprinted by Edw. All-de. 1623. To the Nobility, Gentry, and Communal ty, who are Inhabitants, or Well-willers to the Welfare of the City of Salisbury, and County of Wiltshire. Right Honourable, ORSHIPFUL, and loving Countrymen, I have named my Book and Voyage, The Worst, or the Best, which I ever under- took and finished, and it lies in your pleasures, to make it which you please ; I am sure for toil, travail, and danger, as yet I never had a worse, or a more difficult passage, which the ensuing Discourse will testify ; yet, all those perils past, I shall account as pleasures, if my infallible Reasons may move or per- suade you to clear your River, and make it Navigable from the Sea to your City ; I have in part touched what the profit and Commodities of it will be unto you, and have briefly shewed the Inconveniences which you have through the want of it : I have also declared, that the main intent or scope of my coming unto you with a Wherry, was, to see what lets or ii Dedication. Impediments were the hindrances unto so' good and beneficial a work. All which I have (according to my simple Survey, and weak Capacity) set down, which with the merriness of my most Hazardous Sea-progress, I humbly Dedicate to your Noble, Worshipful, and worthy Acceptances, ever acknow- ledging myself and my Labour in you services to be commanded in all duty, John Taylor. A DISCOVERY BY SEA FROM LONDON TO SALISBURY. S our accounts in almanacks agree, The year call'd sixteen hundred twenty- three : That July's twenty eight, two hours past dinner, We with our Wherry, and five men within her, Along the crystal Thames did cut and curry. Betwixt the Counties Middlesex and Surrey : Whilst thousands gaz d, we past the bridge with wonder. Where fools and wise men go above and under. We thus our Voyage bravely did begin Down by St. Katherines, where the Priest fell in. By Wapping} where as hang'd drowned Pirates die ; (Or else such" Rats, I think as would eat Pie) tiaualsL, is a Pirat. ^ Wappjng. — Here was the famous Execution Dock, the usual place of execution for hanging of pirates and searovers at the low-water mark, and there to remain till three tides had overflowed them. " — Stow, 2 A Discovery by Sea, And passing further, I at first observ'd, h.wiieni That^ Cttckolds-Haven} was but badly served : ?St?r7^For there old Time had such confusion wroug^ht, there was not o ' HorntherZ That of that ancient place remained nought. but since is ^ iitt most JNo monumental memorable Horn, vtorihily Repaired. Qj. ^j^qq^ qj- Post, which hath those Trophies borne. Was left, whereby Posterity may know Where their forefathers Crests did grow, or show. Which put into a maze my musing Muse, ^Cuckold's Haven, or Point,— Horn Fair.— On the Rotherhithe or right bank of the river Thames, a little below the church, and formerly dis- tinguished by a tall pole with a pair of horns on the top. King John, wearied with hunting on Shooter's-hill and Blackheath, entered the house of a miller at Charlton to refresh and rest himself. He found no one at home, but the miller's wife, young, it is said, and beautiful. The miller, it so happened, was earlier in coming home than was usual when he went to Greenwich with his meal — and red and raging at what he saw on his return, he drew his knife. The King, unarmed, thought it prudent to make himself known, and the miller, only too happy to think that it was no baser individual, asked a boon of the King. The King consented, and the miller was told to clear his eyes, and claim the long strip of land he could see before him on the Charlton side of the river Thames. The miller cleared his eyes, and saw as far as a Point near Rotherhithe. The King admitted the distance, and the miller was put into possession of the property on one condition — that he should walk annually on that day, the 1 8th of October, to the farthest bounds of the estate with a pair of buck's horns upon his head. Horn Fair is still kept every i8th of October, at the pretty little village of Charlton in Kent, and the watermen on the Thames about Cuckold's Point still tell the story (with many variations and additions) of the jolly miller and his light and lovely wife. ** That's what you'll come to, my friend," says a waterman on the Thames to Hogarth's Idle Apprentice, pointing at the same time to a pirate hanging in chains near Execution-dock, The reply of the Idle Apprentice is signifi- cant enough : he holds two of his fingers to his forehead by way of horns — *' Cuckold's Point, you ^" from London to Salisbury. 3 Both at the worlds neglect, and times abuse, That that stout Pillar, to Oblivions pit Shall fall, whereon Plus ultra might be writ, That such a mark of Reverend note should lie Forgot, and hid, in black obscurity, Especially when men of every sort Of Countries, Cities, warlike Camps or Court, Unto that Tree are plaintiffs or defendants. Whose'' loves, or fears, are fellows or attendants : or degrees do either Of all estates, this Haven hath some partakers ^tZnJvm' By lot, some Cuckolds, and some Cuckold-makers. ' And can they all so much forgetful be Unto that Ancient, and Renowned Tree, That hath so many ages stood Erected, And by such store of patrons been Protected, And now Ingloriously to lie unseen, As if it were not, or had never been ? Is Lechery wax'd scarce, is Bawdry scant. Is there of Whores, or Cuckolds any want ? Are Whore-masters decay'd, are all Bawds dead ? Are Panders, Pimps, and Apple-squires, all fled ? No surely, for the Surgeons can declare That Venus wars, more hot than Mars are. Why then, for shame this worthy Port maintain. Let's have our Tree, and Horns set up again : That Passengers may show obedience to it. In putting off their hats, and homage do it. Let not the Cornucopiaes of our land, 4 A Discovery by Sea, Unsightly and unseen neglected stand : I know it were in vain for me to call, That you should raise some famous Hospital, Some Free-school, or some Almshouse for the poor. That might increase good deeds, and ope heav ns door. 'Tis no taxation great, or no collection Which I do speak of, for This great Erection : For if it were, mens goodnesses, I know. Would prove exceeding barren, dull, and slow : A Post and Horns, will build it firm and stable. Which charge to bear, there's many a beggar able ; The place is Ancient, of Respect most famous. The want of due regard to it, doth shame us. For Cuckolds Haven, my request is still. And so I leave the Reader to his will. But holla Muse, no longer be offended, 'Tis worthily Repair d and bravely mended. For which great meritorious work, my pen Shall give the glory unto Greenwich men. It was their only cost, they were the Actors Without the help of other Benefactors, For which my pen their praises here adorns, As they have beautifi'd the Hav'n with Horns. From thence to Deptford we amain were driven. Whereas an Anchor unto me was given : With parting pints, and quarts for our farewell ; We took our leaves, and so to Greenwich fell. from Londoit to Salisbury, 5 There shaking hands, adieus, and drinkings store, We took our ship again, and left the shore. Then down to Erith, gainst the tide we went. Next London, greatest mayor town in Kent Or Christendom, and I approve it can, That there the Mayor was a Waterman, Who governs, rules, and reigns sufficiently, And was the Image of Authority : With him we had cheap reck'nings and good cheer. And nothing but his friendship we thought dear. But thence we rous'd ourselves and cast off sleep, Before the daylight did begin to peep. The tide by Gravesend swiftly did us bring, Before the mounting Lark began to sing. And e'er we came to Lee, with speedy pace The sun 'gan rise with most suspicious face. Of foul foreboding weather, purple, red. His radient tincture. East, Northeast o'erspread : And as our oars thus down the river pull'd. Oft with a fowling-piece the Gulls we guU'd For why,"* the Master Gunner of our ship Let no occasion or advantage slip. But charg'd and discharged, shot, and shot again, And scarce in twenty times shot once in vain. Foul was the weather, yet thus much Til say. If t had been fair. Fowl was our food that day, Thus down alongst the spacious coast of Kent By Grane and Sheppys Islands down we went. il His name is Arthur Bray a Waterman of Lambeth, and a good Mark man. 6 A Discovery by Sea, We past the N ore-head, and the sandy shore, Until we came to the East end of the Nore, At last by Ramsgates pier we stifly rowed. The wind and tide, against us blow'd and flowed, Till near unto the Haven where Sandwich stands. We were enclosed with most dangerous sands. There were we sous'd and slabber'd, wash'd and dash'd, %JL7n!' And gravel'd, that it made us' half abash'd : mV^e""^ We look'd and pry'd, and stared round about, afraid, two ^ ^ Z/rlid!and From our apparent perils to get out. ifi-aidf'^^ For with a staff, as we the depth did sound. Four miles from land, we almost were on ground. At last unlook'd for) on our larboard side A thing turmoiling in the sea we spyed. Like to a Merman ; wading as he did All in the sea his nether parts were hid, Whose brawny limbs, and rough neglected beard. And grim aspect, made half of us afear'd. And as he unto us his course did make, I courage took, and thus to him I spake. Man, monster, fiend or fish, whateer thoti be. That travelest here in Nep tunes monarchy, I charge thee by his dreadful three-tin d mace. Thou hurt not me or mine, iji any case. And if thou best produced of mortal kind. Shew tts some coiirse, how we the way may find To deeper water, from these sands so shallow. from London to Salisbury. 1 In which thou seest our ship thus wash a7id wallow. With that (he shrugging up his shoulders strong) Spake (Hke a Christian) in the Kentish tongue, Quoth he, kind sir, I am a fisherman, Who many years my Hving thus have wan By wading in these sandy troublous waters For shrimps, whelks, cockles, and such useful matters. And I will lead you, (with a course I'll keep) From out these dangerous shallows to the deep. Then (by the nose) along he led our boat, Till (past the fiats) our bark did bravely float. Our Sea-horse, that had drawn us thus at large, I gave two groats unto, and did discharge. Then in an hour and half, or little more, We through the Dow7ts at Deal went safe on shore. There did our Hostess dress the fowl we kill'd, With which our hungry stomachs well we fill'd. The morrow being Wednesday (break of day) We towards Dover took our weary way : The churlish winds awak'd the seas high fury, Which made us glad to land there, I assure ye. Blind Fortune did so happily contrive. That we (as sound as bells) did safe arrive At Dover, where a man did ready stand. To give me entertainment by the hand, A man of metal, mark and note, long since He graced was to lodge a gracious Prince, And now his speeches sum, and scope and pith 8 A Discovery by Sea, Is yack and Tom, each one his cousin Smith, That if with pleasant talk you please to warm ye, He is an Host much better than an army, A goodly man, well fed, and corpulent, Fill'd like a bag-pudding with good content, A right good fellow, free of cap and leg, Of compliment, as full as any egg : To speak to Him, I know it is of Folly ^ He is a mortal foe to Melancholy, Mirth is his life and trade, and I think very. That he was got when all the world was merry : Health upon health, he doubled and redoubled. Till his, and mine, all our brains were troubled, Unto our absent Betters there we drank ; Whom we are bound to love, they not to thank : By us mine Host could no great profit reap. Our meat and lodging was so good and cheap. That to his praise thus much I'll truly tell. He us'd us kindly every way and well. And though my lines before are merry writ, Where'er I meet him, I'll acknowledge it. To see the Castle there I did desire. And up the Hill I softly did aspire. Whereas it stands, impregnable in strength. Large in circumference, height, breadth, and length. Built on a fertile plat of ground, that they Have yearly growing twenty loads of hay, Great Ordnance store, pasture for kine and horses, from London to Salisbury. 9 Rampires and Walls, t' withstand invasive forces, That it be well with truth and courage man'd, Munition, victual'd, then it can withstand The powers of twenty Tamberlanes (the Great) Till in the end with shame they would retreat. 'Tis govern'd by a grave and prudent-^ Lord, ^konoJrahu Whose justice doth to each their right afford, Zouch, Lord Whose worth (within the Castle, and without) foru'"^''^ The five Ports, and the country all about. The people with much love, do still recite. Because he makes the wrongers render right. The kindness I received there was such. That my remembrance cannot be too much. I saw a gun thrice eight foot long of brass, And in a wheel I saw a comely ass (Dance like a dog) that's turning of a spit. And draw as it were from the infernal pit, (Whose deep abyss is perpendicular) One hundred fathom (or well near as far) So crystalline, so clear, and cool a water. That will in summer make a mans teeth chatter : And when to see it up, I there had stood, I drank thereof, and found it sweet and good. So farewell Castle, Dover, Dover pier. Farewell, Host Bradskaw, thanks for my good cheer. My bonny bark to sea was bound again ; On Thursday morn, we launch'd into the main, lo A Discovery by Sea, By Folkestone, and by Sandgates ancient Castle, Against the rugged waves, we tug and wrestle By Hyde, by Romney, and by Romney Marsh, The tide against us, and the wind blew harsh, 'Twixt j^olus and Neptune was such strife, That I ne'er felt worse weather in my life : Toss'd and retoss'd, retoss'd and toss'd again ; With rumbling, tumbling, on the rolling main, The boist'rous breaking billows curled locks Impetuously did beat against the rocks, The wind much like a horse whose wind is broke, Blew thick and short, that we were like to choke : As it outrageously the billows shaves. The gusts (like dust) blown from the briny waves, And thus the winds and seas robustious gods Fell by the ears stark mad at furious odds. Our slender ship, turmoiled 'twixt shores and seas. Aloft or low, as storms and flaws did please : ' Sometimes upon a foaming mountain's top. Whose height did seem the heav'ns to underprop, When straight to such profundity she fell. As if she div'd into the deepest Hell. The clouds like ripe apostumes burst and shower'd, Their mattery watery substance headlong pour'd ; Yet though all things were mutable and fickle. They all agreed to souse us in a pickle. Of waters fresh and salt, from seas and sky, Which with our sweat joined in triplicity, from London to Salisbury, I That looking each on other, there we saw, We neither were half stew'd, nor yet half raw, But neither hot or cold, good flesh or fishes For Canibals, we had been ex lent dishes. Bright Pkcedtcs hid his golden head with fear, Not daring to behold the dangers, there, Whilst in that strait or exigent we stand, We see and wish to land, yet durst not land, Like rolling hills the billows beat and roar Against the melancholy beachy shore, That if we landed, neither strength or wit Could save our boat from being, sunk or split To keep the sea, stern puffing ^olus breath Did threaten still to blow us all to death. The waves amain (unbid) oft boarded us, Whilst we almost three hours beleagur d thus. On every side with danger and distress, Resolv'd to run on shore at Dungeness. There stand some thirteen cottages together, To shelter fishermen from wind and weather. And there some people were as I suppos'd. Although the doors and windows all were clos'd : I near the land, into the sea soon leapt To see what people those same houses kept, I knock'd and call'd at each, from house to house, But found no form of mankind, man or^ mouse. This news all sad, and comfortless and cold. Unto my company I straightways told. 12 A Discovery by Sea, Assuring them the best way I did think, Was to haul up the boat, although she sink. Resolved thus, we all together please To put her head to shore, her stern to seas, They leaping overboard amidst the billows. We pluck'd her up (unsunk) like stout tall fellows. Thus being wet, from top to toe we stripp'd, (Except our shirts) and up and down we skipp d, Till wind and sun our wants did well supply. And made our outsides, and our insides dry. h. The tomsTwo miles from thence, a rapfs^ed'' town there stood, name is ^-'^ mufspom To which I went to buy some drink and food : K^entf^ Where kindly over-reckon'd, well misus'd Was, and with much courtesy abus'd. Mine Hostess did account it for no trouble. For single fare to make my payments double: Yet did her mind and mine agree together : That (I once gone) would never more come thither : The cabins where our boat lay safe and well, Belong'd to men which in this town did dwell : And one of them (I thank him) lent us then The key to ope his hospitable den, A brazen kettle, and a pewter dish. To serve our needs, and dress our flesh and fish : Then from the butchers we bought lamb and sheep. Beer from the alehouse, and broom to sweep Our cottage, that for want of use was musty, And most extremely rusty-fusty-dusty. from London to Salisbury, 13 There, two days space, we roast, and boil, and broil, And toil, and moil, and keep a noble coil, For only we kept open house alone. And he that wanted beef, might have a stone. Or Grandame earth (with beds) did all befriend us, And bountifully all our lengths did lend us. That laughing, or else lying' down did make Our backs and sides sore, and our ribs to ache. On Saturday the winds did seem to cease. And brawling seas began to hold their peace, When we (like tenants) beggarly and poor, Decreed to leave the key beneath the door. But that the landlord did that shift prevent. Who came in pudding time and took his rent. And as the Sun, was from the ocean peeping. We launch'd to sea again, and left house-keeping. When presently we saw the drizzling skies 'Gan pout and lower, and winds and seas 'gan rise Who each on other played their parts so wild. As if they meant not to be reconciled, The whilst we leap upon those liquid hills, Wh-^vQ porpoises did show their fins and gills, Whilst we like various Fortune tennis ball. At every stroke, were in the hazard all. And thus by Rye, and-^ Whtchelsea we past By Fairlight, and those rocky cliffs at last. Some two miles short of Hastings, we perceiv'd The Lee shore dangerous, and the billows heav d, i. Our beds were Cables and Bopes, every feather at the least 20. fathom long. j. Iwalk'd to Winchelsea, were I thank my Cousin Mr Collins, the Mayor there, he made me kindly welcome, 14 A Discovery by Sea, Which made us land (to scape the seas distress) Within a harbour, almost harbourless, (We give God thanks) amongst the rocks we hit, Yet were we neither wash'd or sunk, or split. Within a cottage nigh, there dwells a weaver Who entertained us, as the like was never, No meat, no drink, no lodging (but the floor) No stool to sit, no lock unto the door. No straw to make us litter in the night. Nor any candlestick to hold the light. To which the owner bid us welcome still. Good entertainment, though our cheer was ill, The morrow when the Sun with flushed face In his diurnal course began to trace. The wind exceeding stiff and strong and tough, The seas outrageous, and extremely rough. Our boat laid safe upon the beachy sand. Whilst we to Hastings went or walk'd by land. Much (to that town) my thankfulness is bound, Such undeserved kindness there I found. There nights we lay there, and three days we spent. Most freely welcomed, and much merriment. M^rs Kind Mr.^ Mayor his love above the rest : r^ijSardMe and my crew, he did both feed and feast, Boyse, a ^hos^"''' ^^^^ g'old, and came himself to us ; life, and My thanks are these, because his love was thus. honest f«ml"r"* Mine Host and Hostess Clayton thus I thank a'^protd"'* And all good fellows there, I found so frank, from London to Salisbury. 15 That what they had, or what could there be got, They neither thought too heavy or too hot. The winds and seas continued still their course, Inveterate seem'd their rage, untam'd their force, Yet were we loath to linger and delay : But once again to venture and away. Thus desperately resolv'd, 'twixt hope and doubt, Half sank with launching, madly we went out, At twelve a clock at noon, and by sunset To Meeching, or New Haven we did get. There almost sunk (to save our boat at last) Ourselves into the shallow seas we cast : And pluck'd her into safety to remain Till Friday that we put to sea again. Then 'mongst our old acquaintance (storms and flaws) At every stroke near Deaths devouring jaws : The weary day we past through many fears. And land at last quite sunk o'er head and ears. All dropping dry, like five poor rats half drown'd From succour far, we ha'ld the boat on ground, Cast out our water, whilst we bravely drop'd, And up and down to dry ourselves we hop'd. Thus we our weary pilgrimage did wear, Expecting for the weather calm and clear : But storms, flaws, winds, seas, took no minutes rest, Continual fiercely blowing West Southwest, A town call'd Goring, stood near two miles wide. To which we went, and had our wants supplied : 1 6 A Discovery by Sea, There we reliev'd ourselves (with good compassi With meat and lodging of the homely fashion, To bed went in hope of rest and ease, But all beleaguer d with an host of fleas : Who in their fury nip'd and skip'd so hotly. That all our skins were almost turn'd to motley. The bloody fight endur'd at least six hours. When we (opprest with their increasing pow'rs) Were glad to yield the honour of the day Unto our foes, and rise and run away : The night before, a constable there came. Who ask'd my trade, my dwelling, and my name My business, and a troop of questions more, And wherefore we did land upon that shore ? To whom I fram'd my answers true, and fit, (According to his plenteous want of wit) But were my words all true, or if I ly'd. With neither I could get him satisfi'd. He ask'd if we were Pirates ? We said no, ( As if we had, we would have told him so.) He said that Lords sometimes would enterprise T'escape, and leave the Kingdom, in disguise : But I assur d him on my honest word. That I was no disguised Knight or Lord. He told me then that I must go six miles T'a Justice there, Sir John, or else Sir Giles : I told him I was loth to go so far : And he told me, he would my journey bar. from London to Salisbitry. 17 Thus what with fleas, and with the several prates Of th'officer, and his associates, We arose to go, but Fortune bade us stay : The constable had stolen our oars away, And borne them thence a quarter of a mile, Quite through a lane, beyond a gate and stile, And hid them there, to hinder my depart, For which I wish'd him hang'd with all my heart. A ploughman (for us) found our oars again. Within a field well filFd with barley grain. Then madly, gladly out to sea we thrust, 'Gainst winds and storms and many a churlish gust : By Kingston Chapel, and by Rtcstiiigton, By Littlehampton, and by Middleton, To Bognors fearful rocks, which hidden lie Two miles into the sea, some wet, some dry : There we suppos'd our danger most of all, If we on those remorseless rocks should fall : But by the Almightys mercy and His might. We row'd to Selsey, where we stay'd all night. There, our 7iecessity could have no law, For want of beds, we made good use of straw Till Sol, that old continual traveller. From Thetis lap, 'gan mount his flaming car. The weather kept it's course, and blow'd and rag'd, Without appearance it would e'er be suag'd. Whilst we did pass those hills, and dales, and Downs, That had devour'd great ships, and swallow'd towns, i8 A Discovery by Sea, Thus after six or five hours toil at least, We pass'd along by Wittering, West, and East, Upon the Lee shore still the wind full South, We came near Chichester s fair Havens mouth And being then half sunk, and all through wet, More fear d than hurt, we did the Haven get. Thus in that harbour we our course did frame To Portsmouth, where on Monday morn we came. Then to the Royal Fleet we row'd aboard, Where much good welcome they did us afford. To the Lord General, first my thanks shall be. His bounty did appear in gold to me, And every one aboard the Prince I found, Instead of want, to make their loves abound. Captain Penruddock there amongst the rest. His love and bounty was to us exprest. Which to requite, my thankfulness I'll show. And that Til ever pay, and ever owe. On Tuesday morning we with main and might, From Portsmouth cross' d unto the Isle of Wight : By Cowes stout Castle, we to Yarmouth hasted. And still the winds and seas fierce fury lasted. On Wedn'sday we to Hicrsts strong Castle cross'd. Most dangerously sous'd, turmoil'd and toss'd : Good harbour there we found, and nothing dear, I thank kind Mr. Figge^ the porter there. He show'd us there a Castle of defence Most useful, of a round circumference: from London to Salts btcry. 19 Of such command, that none can pass those seas Unsunk, or spoiFd, except the Castle please. On Thursday, we our boat row'd, pull'd and haul'd Unto a place, which is Key Haven call'd. The wind still blowing, and the sea so high, As if the lofty waves would kiss the sky. That many times I wish'd with all my heart. Myself, my boat, and crew, all in a cart ; Or anywhere to keep us safe and dry. The weather raged so outrageously. For sure I think the memory of man (Since winds and seas to blow or flow began) Cannot remember so stormy weather In such continuance, held so long together, For ten long weeks ere that, 'tis manifest. The wind had blown at South or West Southwest, And rais'd the seas : to show each others power, That all this space (calm weather) not one hour, That whether we did go by sun or moon. At any time, at midnight, or at noon : If we did launch, or if to land we set. We still were sure to be half-sunk, and wet. Thus toiling of our weary time away, That Thursday was our last long look'd for day : For having pass'd, with peril, and much pain, And plough'd, and furrow'd, o'er the dangerous main. 20 A Discovery by Sea, O'er depths, and flats, and many a ragged rock, We came to Christ-Church Hav'n at five o'clock. Thiis God, in mercy, His just judgment sparing, ('Gainst our prestmiption, over-bold, and daring) Who made us see His wonders in the deep. And that His power alone aloft did keep OtLr weathe7^-b eaten boat above the waves. Each moment gaping to be all our Graves. We sinking 'scap'd: then not to us, to Him Be all the Glory, for he caused us swim. And for his mercy was so much extended On me ( whose temp tings had so far offended) Let 7ne be made the scorn and scoff of men. If ever I attempt the like again. My love, my duty, and my thankfulness. To Sir George Hastings I must here express : His deeds to me, I must requit in words. No other payment, poor mens state affords. With fruitless words, I pay him for his cost, With thanks to Mr. Templeman mine Host. So leaving Christ Chtcrch, and the Haven there, With such good friends as made us welcome cheer, Some serious matter now I must compile, And thus from verse to prose I change my style. from London to Salisbury. 21 [OD, who of his infinite wisdom made Man, of his unmeasured mercy redeemed him, of his boundless bounty, immense power, and eternal eye of watchful providence relieves, guards, and conserves him ; It is necessary, that every man seriously consider and ponder these things, and in token of obedience and thankfulness say with David : What shall I render ? and the man having thus searched considerately the Causer of his being, then let him again meditate for™ what^^^^^ cause he hath a being : indeed it may be objected,GoT£/r' given them that almost everything hath a being ; as stones havej^^;^'!^^^™ being, trees, herbs, and plants, have being and life : Beasts, fowls, and fishes, have being, life, and sense : but to man is given a being, life, sense, and reason, and after a mortal, an immortal ever-being. This consideration will make a man know that he hath little part of himself, which he may justly call his own : his body is Gods, he made it ; his soul is his, who bought it ; his goods are but lent him, by him that will one day call him to a reckoning, for the well or ill disposing of them : so that man having nothing but what he hath received, and received nothing but what is to be employed in the service of God, and consequently his Prince or Country, it is plainly to be perceived, that every man hd.th.\^^^^^^^^ the least share or portion of himself to boast of. 22 A Discovery by Sea, I have written this Preamble, not only to inform such as know not these things already ; but also to such whose knowledge is, as it were, fallen into a dead sleep : who do live, as though there were no other being than here, and that their life and being was ordained only of themselves, neither God, Prince, or Country, having no share or portion of them, or of what they call theirs. But oh you Inhabitants of Salisbury, I hope there are no such crawling cankerworms, or commonwealth caterpillars amongst you. Nay, I am assured of the con- trary, that there are many, who (with religious piety, open hands, and relenting hearts) do acknowledge that your goods are but lent in trust unto you), and do patiently bear the over-burthen- some relieving of many hundreds of poor wretches, which (were it not for your charity) would perish in your streets. This being entered into my consideration, that honefuour^eyom City is so" much overcharged with poor, as set down iZ-fchingof^^^'^^S in three parishes near 3000 besides decayed your poor. ^ great many, and that those few which are of the wealthier sort, are continually overpressed with sustaining the wants of the needy, the City being as it were at the last gasp, the poor being like Pharaohs lean kine, even ready to eat up the fat ones : I have made bold to write this treatise ensuing, both to entreat a constant perseverance in from London to Salisbury, 23 those who have begun to do good works, and an encouragement or animating of all others, who as yet seem slow in these good proceedings. And if anything here written by me, be either impertinent, extravagant, rude, harsh, or over-bold, I humbly entreat you to impute it rather to my want of judgment, learning, and capacity, than to any presumption, or want of love and duty to the City and cause, which is hereafter handled. It is sufficiently known, that my intent and purpose at this time, was not to make any profit to myself upon any adventure (as it is deemed by many) by my passage from London to Salisbury with a wherry, but I was entreated by a* watermanf^ J!^?p?rT* which was born in Salisbzcry. that I would bear himandus ' ordinary company for the discovery of the sands, flats,fJp7ieI''or depths, shoals, mills, and weirs, which are impedi-^«&o"^. at ^ ' ' ' ' ^ the Temple, ments, and lets whereby the river is not navigabler//o from Christ-Chufch, or the sea to Salisbtiry.J^^tmun ' another Which after many dangerous gusts, and tempest-S-t^c/i / 1 . < T 1 • 1 • went with uous storms at sea, (which 1 have recited in verse'««- before) it pleased God that at the last we entered the river, which in my opinion is as good a river, and with some charge may be made as passable as the river of Thames is upwards from Brentford to Windsor, or beyond it ; the shallow places in it are not many, the mills need not be removed, and as for the weirs, no doubt but they may with conscience 24 A Discovery by Sea, be compounded for. By which means of navigation, the whole City and Country would be relieved loiterers turned into labourers, penury into plenty, to the glory of God, the dignity and reputation of your City, and the perpetual worthy memory of all benefactors and well-willers unto so noble a work. If you will but examine your own knowledges, you shall find that in the whole dominion of England, there is not any one Town or City which hath a Navigable River at it, that is poor, nor scarce any that are rich, which want a River with the benefits of Boats : The Town of Kingston upon Hull in Yorkshire, the River there was cut out of Humber, by mens labours 20. miles up into the Country, and what the wealth and estate of that Town is, (by the only benefit of that river) it is not unknown to thousands : but you men of Sarum may see what a commodity navigation is, nearer hand ; there is your neighbour Southampton on the one side, and your dear friend Poole on the other, are a pair of handsome looking-glasses for you, where you may see your want in their abundance, and your negligence in their industry. Gods hath placed your being in a fertile soil, in a fruitful valley, environed round with Corn, and as it were continually besieged with plenty ; whilst you within (having so ■ many poor amongst are rather lookers upon happiness enjoyers : more from London to Salisbury. 25 over (by Gods appointment) Nature hath saved you the labour of cutting a River, for I think you have one there as old as your City ready made to your hands ; if you will be but industrious to amend those impediments in it, I dare undertake to be one of the 3. or 4. men which shall bring or carry 16 or 20 tuns of goods betwixt the Sea and your City now, with extreme toil of men, horses and carts, your wood is brought to you 18. or 20. miles, whereby the poor which cannot reach the high prices of your fuel, are inforced to steal or starve in the winter, so that all your near adjoining woods are continually spoiled by them : which faults by the benefit of the River would be reformed : for the New Forest standeth so near to the water, that it is but cut the wood and put it into a boat, which shall bring as much to your City as twenty carts, and fourscore horses : besides, by this River you might draw to you a trade of Sea- coal, which would enrich you, and help the plain and inland Towns and Villages where no wood grows. And for the exportation of your corn from Port to Port, within our own Country, as it is well known what abundance of your barley is continually made into malt amongst you : which if you had carriage for it, might be brewed into beer, wherewith you might serve divers places with your beer, which is now served with your malt besides carriages of bricks, tiles, stones, charcoals, and other necessarys. 26 A Discovery by Sea, which is now carried at dear rates by horse and cart, which you now send in carts, or on horses backs, to Southampton, to Bristol, and to many other places: so that the dearness of the Carriages eats up all your commodities and profit ; which commodity may be avoided, if your River be cleansed : and what man can tell what good in time may redound to your City from the Sea, by foreign goods, which may be brought into Christ-Church Haven by shipping ? nor can it be truly imagined, what now and useful profitable businesses may arise in time by this means. Our Forefathers and Ancestors did in their lives time in former ages do many worthy and memorable works, but for all their industry and cost, they did (or could not) do all ; but as there was much done to our hands, so there was much left for us to do, and very fitting it was, that it should be so : for it is against common sense and reason, our Fathers should toil in good works like drudges, and we spend our times loitering like Drones : no, what they did, was for our imitation. And with all, that we should be leaders of our posteriters by our examples, into laudable endeavours, as our progenitors have before shewed us : we are their sons and off-spring, we have their shapes and figures, we bear their names, we possess their goods, inherit their lands ; we have materials of Stones, Timber, Iron, and from London to Salts dtcry. 27 such necessaries which they had, (if not greater abundance) and having all these, let us with all have their willing and liberal hearts, and their is no question to be made, but that our River of Avon will quickly be cleaned, to the honest enriching of the rich, and the charitable relieving of the poor. I am assured there are many good men in the City and County of Wiltshire, and others of worth and good respect in this Kingdom, who would willingly and bountifully assist this good work : but (like Gossips near a stile) they stand straining courtesy who shall go first : or the Mice in the Fable, not one will adventure to hang the bell about the cats neck : So that if one good man would begin, it would be (like a health drank to some beloved Prince at a great feast) pledged most heartily, and by God's grace effected most happily. You have already began a charitable work amongst you, I mean, your common Town Brew- house, the profit of which you intend shall be wholly employed for the supply of the poor and impotents, which live in your City ; from which sort of people (being such a multitude) the brewers there have found their best custom : for no doubt but the meanest beggar amongst you, is (in some sort) more valiant than the richest man ; because the one dares to spend all he hath at the ale-house, so dares not the other ; for the poor man drinks stifly to drive care away, and hath nothing to loose, and the rich 28 A Discovery by Sea, man drinks moderately, because he must bear a brain to look to what he hath. And of all traders in the world, a Brewer is the Load-stone, which draws the customers of all functions unto it. It is the mark or upshot of every mans aim, and the bottomless whirlpool that swallows up the profits of rich and poor. The brewers art (like a wild kestrel or unman'd hawk) flies at all games ; or like a butlers box at Christmas, it is sure to win, who- soever loses : In a word, it rules and reigns (in some sort) as Atigustus Ccesar did, for it taxeth the whole earth. Your Inns and Alehouses are Brooks and Rivers, and their Clients are small Rills and Springs, who all (very dutifully) maSa* do pay their tributes to the boundless Ocean sZVpi^k^'^^ the Brewhouse. For all the world knows liv^g out of thsit if men and women did drink no more than contentions somf'thr^e sufficed Nature, or if it were but a little extraordinary and grow , •■ . , , fat by now and then upon occasion, or by chance, as you gluttony, ... I'raveiT ^^^^ ' driukiug, were used in any reason, maintained _ . by bribery QT dnij reasou used m drmkmg, 1 pray ye what ropS%n(iWOuld become of the Brewer then? surely we do live villany : but. , • ^ ^1 l 11 put all m an ae^e, wherem^ the seven deadly sms are every together, ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ SmaH*'' rnans trade and living. Pride is the main- pelpifeue, taluer of thousands, which would else perish ; as and they all ^ IrfSLMercers, Tailors, Embroiderers, Silkmen, Cutters, Tiint'iTthe Drawers, Sempsters, Laundresses, of which functions Brewers ^ cwtomen. thcre are millions which would starve but for from London to Salisbury. 29 Madame Pride with her changeable fashions. Le- chery, what a continual crop of profit it yields, appears by the gallant thriving, and gawdy outsides of many he and she, private and public sinners, both in City and Suburbs. Covetousness is embroidered with extortion, and warmly lined and furred with oppression. And though it be a devil, yet is it most idolatrously adored, honoured, and worshipped by those sheepheaded fools, whom it hath undone and beggared. T could speak of other vices, how profitable they are to common-wealth ; but my invention is thirsty, and must have one carouse more at the brewhouse, who (as I take it) hath a greater share than any, in the gains which spring from the worlds abuses : for Pride is maintained by the humble, yet one kind of Pride doth live and profit by another : Lechery is supported by the cursed swarm of Bawds, Panders, Pimps, Apple- squires, Whores, and Knaves ; and so every sin lives and thrives by the members, agents, ministers, and clients, which do belong unto them : but drunkenness plays at all; all trades, all qualities, all functions and callings can be drunk extempore: note at any great Feast, or but at every ordinary dinner or supper almost, when men are well satisfied with sufficiency, that then the mystery of quaffing begins, with healths to many an unworthy person (who perhaps) would not give the price of 30 A Discovery by Sea, the Reckoning to save all them from hanging (which make themselves sick with drinking such unthankful healths,) I myself have oftentimes dined or supped at a great mans board, and when I have risen, the servants of the house have enforced me into the cellar or buttery, where (in the way of kindness) they will make a mans belly like a souse-tub, and enforce me to drink, as if they had a commission under the Devils great seal, to murder men with drinking, with such a deal of complimental oratory, Asy off with your Lap, wind up your bottom, Up with your taplash, and many more eloquent phrases, which Tidly or Demosthenes never heard of ; that in conclusion I am persuaded three days fasting would have been more healthful to me, than two hours feeding and swilling in that manner. If any man hang, drown, stab, or by any violent means make away his life, the goods and lands of any such person, are forfeit to the use of the King: and I see no reason but those which kill themselves with drinking, should be in the same estate, and be buried in the high ways, with a stake drove through them : and if I had but a grant of this suit, I would not doubt but that in seven years (if my charity would agree with my wealth) I might erect Alms- houses, Free-schools, mend highways, and make bridges : for I dare swear, that a number (almost numberless) have confessed upon their death-beds that from London to Salisbury. 31 at such and such a time, in such and such a place, they drank so much which made them surfeit, of which they langfuished and died. The main;.-^«< benefit of these superfluous and man-slaughteringi^Tz£of expences comes to the Brewer, so that if a Brewer be in any office, I hold him to be a very ungrateful man, if he punish a drunkard : for every stiff pot- valiant drunkard is a post, beam, or pillar, which holds up the Brew-house : for as the bark is to the tree, so is a good drinker to a brewer. But you men of Salisbury, wisely perceiving how much Evil to your City, hath come by the abuse of Good drink, you would now work by con- traries, to draw Good for your poor, out of these forepassed and present Evils. To draw evil out of good, is devilish, but to work or extract goodness out of what is evil, is godly, and worthy to be pur- sued. The abuse of good drink, and excessive drinking, hath made many beggars amongst you, to the enriching of a few Brewers, and now you would turn the world off from the Barrels, as I would off from the Coach-wheels, that the benefit of your new built Town Brewhouse might relieve many of those poor amongst you, who have formerly been im- poverished by the enriching of your Town Brewers. It is no doubt but they will oppose this good work of yours, as the image-makers in Ephesus did Paul^ when he preached against their idolatrous worship- 32 A Discovery by Sea, ping Diana; but be not you discouraged, for Nehemiah (in time) did build the Temple, although a. Touah, Sauballat and' many others did oppose him : for as Arabians^ Ammonitn. yQ^J. jnteuts are pious, so no doubt but God will make your events prosperous. Now to turn from beer and ale to fair water, (your river I mean) which if it be cleansed, then with the profit of your Town-brew-house, and the commodity of the river, I think there will be scarce a beggar or a loiterer to be found amongst you. I have written enough before concerning the benefit of it, and to encourage such as seem slow towards so good a work, which had it been in the Low-Countries, the industrious Dutch would not so long have neglected so beneficial a blessing, witness their abundance of Navigable Rivers, and ditches, which with the only labour of men they have cut, and in most places, where never God or Nature made any River ; and lately there is a River made navigable to St. Yeades^ in Huntingdonshire, wherein stood seven mills, as impediments in the way. And now the City of Canterbtiry are clearing their Rivers, that boats may pass to and fro betwixt them and Sandwich Haven : the like is also in hand at Leeds in Yorkshire : Now, if neither former or present examples can move you; if your own wants cannot inforce you, if assured profit cannot persuade you, but that you will still be neglective and stupid, then *St. Neot's. from London to Salisbury. 33 am I sorry that I have written so much, to so Httle purpose, but my hopes are other ways : if all blind, lame, and covetous excuses be laid aside, then those who are willing, will be more willing, and those who are slack or backward, will in some reasonable manner draw forward : And there is the mouth of an uncharitable objection which I must needs stop, which is an old one, and only spoken by old men ; for (say they) we are aged and stricken in years, and if we should lay out our moneys, or be at charges for the river, by the course of Nature we shall not live to enjoy any profit to requite our costs: this excuse is worse than Heathenish, and therefore it ill becomes a Christian ; for as I wrote before, man was not created, or had either the goods of mind, body, or Fortune, bestowed on him by his Maker, but that he should have the least part of them himself, his God, Prince and Country, claiming (as their due) almost all which every man hath. The oldest man will purchase land, which is subject to barrenness, and many inconveniences ; he will buy and build houses, which are in danger of fire, and divers other casualties; he will adventure upon wars or goods at high prices, which to his loss may fall to low rates ; he will bargain for cattle and sheep, who are incident to many diseases, as rot, the murrain, and divers the like, and all this will he do, in hope to raise his state, and leave his 34 A Discovery by Sea, heirs rich : at his death perhaps (when he can keep his goods no longer, when in spite of his heart he must leave all) he will give a few gowns, and a little money to pious uses, a gross or two of penny loaves, and there's an end of him, so that there remains no more memory of him. But this good work of your river, is not subject to barrenness or sterility, but contrarily it will be a continual harvest of plenty, it is not in danger of being consumed, or wasted, but it is assured of a perpetual increase, the names and memories of contributors towards it, shall be conserved in ven- erable and laudable remembrance, to the eternizing of their fames, the honour of their posterities, and the good example of succeeding times to imitate. Therefore you men of Salisbury, I entreat you in this case to be good to yourselves. Or else you may say hereafter. If we had been industrious, we had been happy : If we had not been covetous, we had been rich} Now, to return to my travels and entertain- ments: As I passed up the River, at the least 2000. Swans, like so many Pilots, swam in the deepest places before me, and showed me the way. When I came to the town of Ringwood ( 1 4. miles short of ^The design advocated of rendering the River Avon navigable from Christ- church to Salisbury was attempted under the patronage of Seth Ward, Bishop of Salisbury (1670-80), but the scheme proved abortive. — Thatcher'' s History of Old and New Samm. from London to Salisbury, 35 Salisbury) I there met with His Majesties Trum- peters, and there my fellows Mr. Thomas Under hill, and Mr. Richard Stock, Mr. Thomas Ramsey, Mr. Randall Lloyd, with others, which I name not, did walk on the bank, and gave me two excellent flour- ishes with their Trumpets, for the which I thank them in print, and by word of mouth. At last I came to a town called Fordi7ig Bridge, where (not many days before) a grievous mischance happened ; For two men being swimming or washing in the river, a butcher passing over the bridge (with a mastiff dog with him) did cast a stone into the water, and say, A duck ; at which, the dog leaped into the river, and seized upon one of the men and killed him; and the butcher leaping in after, thinking to save the man, was also slain by his own dog, the third man also hardly escaping, but was likewise bitten by him. From thence I passed further, to a place called ILale, where we were welcomed by the Right Worshipful, Sir Thomas Penrudduck, Knight, whom we carried there in our Boat, and who, I am assured, will be a forward and a liberal Benefactor towards clearing of the River. So passing on our course by the Villages of Burgate Breamore, Charford, Downton, and Stonely, we came to Langford, where we were well enter- tained by the Right Honourable, the Lord Edward 36 A Discovery by Sea, George (Lord Baron of Dundalk, and Captain of his strong and Majesties defencible Castle of Htirst, in Hampshire) to whom in love and duty we proffered the gift of our tattered, wind-shaken and weather- beaten boat, which (after our being at Salisbury, being but two miles from thence) his Lordship accepted. And though he knew she was almost unserviceable, yet his noble bounty was such, that he rewarded us with the price of a new boat. I had some conference with his Honour, concerning the impediments and cleansing of the River, and I know he is most forwardly and worthily affected towards it, and no doubt if it be pursued, that then he will do that which shall become a gentleman of his Honourable calling and Rank. So on the same Friday at night we came to Salisbury, where we brought our boat through Fisherton bridge, on the west side of the city, taking our lodging at the sign of the Kings head there, with mine Host Richard Estman, whose brother Thomas, was one of the Watermen which came in the boat thither from London : on the morrow, I •with my company footed it two miles to Wilton, where at the Right Honourable the Earl of Pembrokes, my Lord Chamberlains house, I was most freely (and beyond my worth and merit) kindly welcomed, by the Right Worshipful, Sir Thomas Morgan, Knight, with whom I dined, and by whose from London to Salisbury. 37 command I was showed all or the most part of the admirably contrived rooms, in that excellent, and well-built house ; which rooms were all richly adorned with costly and sumptuous hangings ; his Majesty some few days before having dined there with most magnificent entertainment, as did express the love of so Noble a House-keeper for so Royal a Guest : upon the sight of which house with the furniture, I wrote these following verses. If Wholesome Air, Earth, Woods, and pleasant Springs Are Elements, whereby a house is gracd : If strong and stately btcilt, contentment brings. Such is the house of Wilton, and so placd. There Nature, Art, Art, Natiire hath embracd ; Without, within, below, aloft complete: Delight and state, are there so i7iterlacd With rich content, which makes all good, and great The Hangings there, with Histories replete, Divine, Profane, and Moral pleasures giving. With work so lively, exquisite, a7id neat. As if mans Art made mortal creatures living. In brief, there all things are compos d so well, Beyond my pen to write, or tongue to tell. Then I was showed a most fair and large Armoury, with all manner of provision and furni- ture, for pike, shot, bills, halberts, javelins, with other weapons, and munition, which for goodness, A Discovery by Sea, number, and well-keeping, is not second to any Noblemans in England : Afterwards I went to the Stables, and saw my Lords great horses, whom I saw such, and so good, that what my untutored pen cannot sufficiently commend, I am forced with silence to overpass. But amongst the rest, the pains and industry of an ancient gentleman Mr. Adrian Gilbert, must not be forgotten : for there hath he (much to my Lords cost and his own pains) used such a deal of intricate setting, grafting, planting, innoculating, railing, hedging, plashing, turning, winding, and returning circular, triangular, quad- rangular, orbicular, oval, and every way curiously and chargeably conceited : there hath he made walks, hedges, and arbours, of all manner of most delicate fruit trees, planting and placing them in such admirable artlike fashions, resembling both divine and moral remembrances, as three arbours standing in a triangle, having each a recourse to a greater Arbour in the midst, resembleth three in one, and one in three : and he hath there planted certain \r^e%anAi Walks and Arbours all with* Fruit trees, so pleasing hearjone aud ravishiupf to the sense, that he calls it Paradise, good or rare <=> ' ' in which he plays the part of true Adamist, continually toiling and tilling. Moreover, he hath made his Walks most rarely round and spacious, one walk without another, as the rinds of an onion are greatest without, and less towards the centre) and from Londo7i to Salisbury. 39 withal, the hedges betwixt each walk are so thickly set, that one cannot see through from the one walk who walks in the other : that in conclusion," the« Arouna work i$ work seems endless, and I think that in England itZHingno. is not to be fellowed, or will in haste be followed.«oiW matchless And in love which I bear to the memory of so^to'S industrious and ing^enious a Gentleman, I have^'^"^^^^?*^" o ' here, whose written the following Anagrams. SSnn itsseJf, my ■pen being r^-rr , \ { Art redUy began Adryan U-ztdert, \ Anae^rams. \ j j- . u ^ ) ^ (A breeding tryatt. Art redily began a breeding tryall, When she inspird this worthy Gentleman : For Natures eye, of him took full espial I, And tattght him Art, Art readily began. That though Dame Nature was his Ttctoress, he, Otitworkes her, at his workes apparent be. For Nature brings bttt earth, and seeds and plants. Which Art, like Tailors, cuts and puts in fashion : As Nature rudely doth sitpply ozcr wants. Art is deformed Natures reformation. So Adryan Gilbert mendeth Natures features By Art, that what she makes, doth seem his creatures. 40 A Discovery by Sea, HUS with my humble thanks to Sir Thomas Morgan, and my kind remem- brance to all the rest of my lords servants there, my legs and my labouring lines return again to Salisbury, and from the next day (being Sunday) to Langford, to my Lord George his house, with whom I dined, and left my humble thanks for the reckoning. In brief, my fruitless and worthy lip- labour, mix'd with a deal of airey, and non-substantial matter, I gave his Lordship, and the like requital I bestowed on the right Worshipfnl Mr, Thomas Squibb, Mayor of Sarum, with Mr. Banes, Mr. yohn Ivy, Mr. Windour, with all the rest ; and more than thanks, and a grateful remembrance of their Honourable, Worshipful, and friendly favours, I know they expect not, and less than such a common duty as gratitude I must not, or cannot pay. To shut up all in few words, I know, his Majesties pious inclination is so ample, that he will be graciously pleased with any of your laudable endeavours for your welfare and commodity, if you take good and speedy advice, then no doubt but the effects will be according to your honest intendments. So farewell, Salisbury, till we meet again, which I hope will be one day : in the mean space I pray thee take this poor pamphlet as a loving pledge of from London to Salisbury. 41 my return. Me thinks I see already, men, horses, carts, mattocks, shovels, spades, wheelbarrows, hand- barrows, and baskets at work for the clearing of your river : But if my thoicghts do deceive me, and my expectation fail, I shall ever hereafter give small credit to their intelligence. So once more, Salisbtcry, I with thee thankfully well to fare. On Thursday the 21. of Augtist I took Win- chester in my way homewards : where I saw an ancient City, like a body without a soul : and I know not the reason of it, but for ought which I perceived, there were almost as many parishes as people. I lodged at the sign of the Cock, being recommended to the Host of the house, by a token from Salisbury, but mine Host died the night before I came, and I being weary, had more mind to go to bed than to follow him so long a journey, to do my message, or deliver any commendations : but the whole City seemed almost as dead as mine Host, and it may be they were all at Harvest work : but I am sure I walked from one end of it to the other, and saw not 30. people of all sorts : So that I think if a man should go to Winchester for a Goose} he might lose his labour, for a trader cannot live there, by vending such commodities. 'Winchester Goose, or Pigeon.— A name for a syphilitic bubo. 42 A Discovery by Sea, &c. On Friday I gallop'd a foot pace one and twenty miles, from Winchester to Farnham ; where I and one of my company hired a couple of Hampshire Jenets, with seven legs, and three eyes betwixt them, upon whom we hobbled seventeen miles, to Staines, whence on Saturday the 23. of August we footed it to Brentford, and boated it to Lon- D O N. n Armado^ or Nauye, of 103. Ships & other Veffels ; who have the Art to Sayle by Land, as well as by Sea. Morally, Rigd, Mand Munitioned Appoynted, Set forth, and Victualed, with 32 fortes of Ling: with other Prouisions of Fish & Flesh. The Names of the Ships, are in the next Page Anno Millimo, quillimo trillimo. By John Taylor LONDON Printed by E. A. for H. Gosson 1627. THE NAMES OF THE SHIPS, WITH THE NUMBER OF THE SQUADRONS, 1 The Lord-SniP, whose squadron were of Ships and other vessels, twelve in all. 2 The Scholar-SniP, with ten others in all. 3 The Lady-Snip, with twelve others. 4 The Goodfellow-Snip, with twelve others. 5 The Apprentice-Snip, with four others. 6 The Court-SniP, with eleven others. 7 The Friend-Snip, with four others. 8 The Fellow-Snip, with five others. 9 The Footman-Snip, with five others. 10 The Horseman-SniP, with four others. 1 1 The Surety-SniP, with seven others. 12 The Wor-Snip, with three others. 13 The Woodman-SniP, with seven others. Besides there were seven other needless Ships, which were in the nature of Voluntaries, or hangers- on upon The Navy, as namely. The Mary Carry- Knave, The Knaves-increase, The Superfluous, the Careless, The Idle, The Coxcomb, The Braggart, And what man soever he be, that hath, or doth not sail in som.e one Ship of this my Fleet, Let him come to me, and I will Ship him, and allow him double wages. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFUL AND TRULY GENEROUS SIR JOHN FEARNE KNIGHT. Noble Sir, \HE world stifficiently knows that you know what Ships and shipping are, that you have ploughed the dangerotcs ocean, and furrowed over the ragged bosom of Neptune : yet nevertheless I know that you have took notice of my old and weather-beaten Land-Navy, being built with- out either timber or iron, rigged without ropes or cordage, whose ordnance are discharged without match or powder, whose victuals are neither bread, drink, fish, flesh, or good red-herring, whose voyages are not performed with wind and water, yet ever in action like a perpetual motion ; but when you shall please to favour me so much as to peritse and survey my strange Fleet or Armada, you will then perceive that your- self hath sailed in ( or at the least ) boarded most of my ships of note : for you are well acquainted with the Lordship, you are a friend to the Scholarship, iv Dedication. yet have laid the Ladyship aboard, you have entered the Apprenticeship, you are well-known in the Courtship, you have sailed in the Good Fellowship, you love the Friendship, you affect the Fellowship, you know the Footmanship, you are skilled in the Horsemanship, you have surprised and taken the Worship, and you know what belongs to the Wood- manship, the Wardship, and Stewardship ; / do for some reasons not meddle with all, and I think you have seldom or never had any dealings with them : the sum of all is, I most humbly desire yotir worship's pardon, for my abrupt dedication, assuring you that it was only my love and duty that put me on, without any expectance of patronage, protection or reward : and with my best wishes for the perpetuity of your present and ever future felicity, I rest, Your Worship's to command whilst I have being, JO. TAYLOR. John Smith of his friend Master John Taylor and his Amada, Arm, Arm, Arm, Arm, great Neptune rouse, awake And muster up thy monsters speedily : Boreas unto thy blustering blasts betake. Guard, guard yourselves, from Taylor s policy. Rocks, shoals. Lee-shores, oh help them Goodwin sands For this new Fleet runs over Seas and Lands, And's now so victu led. Rigged and yarely''^ plies It threatens all the waters, air and skies Truth in his Navy such a power doth lead The Devil, Hell, Vice, and all, the Fleet may dread, And well it may, if well you understand. So rare a Fleet, was never made nor man'd. *Yarely.— Quickly, neatly, skilfully. My love to John Taylor and his Navy. If Art and Nature both in one combine, Upon some serious wits to draw a line If Virtue trusty Faith with all their might Give Nature Virtue, Art a nimble sight Art Nature Virtue, Faith do well agree To raise this work of thine eternity. No sooner did thy pen but drop a tear Upon this milky path, the Gods were there Willing assistants and did hoist up sail To make the swifter in the thy naval tale JEolia a gentle gale Neptune, calm weather Till all our Ships in harbour moored together If Lord-Ship, Lady-Ship, or Court-Ship fight Friend-Ship and Fellow-Ship will do thee right And Wor-Ship will assist to make a peace Whilst Surety-ship stands bound the wars should cease. Thus was that battle ended but thy praise Hath raised a crew which will outlast thy days Steer on thy course then, let thy fertile brain Plough up the deep which will run o'er the main In such a Fleet of sweet conceited matter. Which sails by land more swifter than by water That whilst the ocean doth contain a billow Thou and thy Book shall never have a fellow. F. Mason. The Description how the whole Navy is Victualled with Thirty-two sorts of Ling, besides other Necessaries. PIRST, thirty thousand couple of Change- LiNG, appointed only for the diet of such fellows who had honest parents, and are themselves changed into very rascals. Secondly, Dar-LiNG, this fish was dearer inan fresh Sahnon, (for it was consecrated to the goddess Venus) it was of that high price that some men have consumed their whole lordships, manors and credit, in two or three years only in this kind of diet, therefore, it is not a dish for every man's tooth : for none but brave sparks, rich heirs, Clarissimoes and Magnificoes, would go to the cost of it. Thirdly, Shave-LiNG, which was only for the diet of Priests, Monks, and Friars. Fourthly, Fond-LiNG, this fish was Cockneys and other pretty youths, over whom their parents were so tender, that a man might perceive by their manners, they had been better fed than taught. 2 A Navy OF Land Ships. Fifthly, Tip-LiNG, a dish for all men. Sixthly, Under-LiNG, this fish was shipped for witty younger brothers, poor scholars that have neither friends nor money. Seventhly, Starve- Ling, this Ling was only for the bark Beggarly, which was manned with old dis- charged serving-men, and maimed cashiered soldiers and mariners. Eighthly, Strip-LiNG, provided for pages, lackeys, and foot-boys. Ninthly, Foo-Ling, a dish for every man's diet. Tenthly, S wad- Ling, against stomach, but yet a dish of good use. Eleventh, Grumb-LiNG, a discontented kind of fish for the poorer sort of people to chaw upon : for when they do think themselves wronged by their superiors, and dare not utter their minds openly, then they feed upon Grumb-LiNG. Twelfth, Wrang-LiNG, this Ling was salted by sixteen pettifoggers, in a long troublesome term : it is held to be a lasting dish, and will serve the whole fleet with their posterities, to the second and third generation. Thirteenth, Troub-LiNG, was provided by certain double diligent constables, to the molesta- tion of their sleepy watch, and the charge of many a man that would quietly have gone to their lodging. A Navy of Land Ships. 3 Fourteenth, Prow- Ling, is a plentiful fish, upon which many thousands do live, but by using it too much, it chokes a great number : and as fisher- men do bait their hooks with one fish to catch other, so is this Ling (for the most part) taken with three other sorts of Ling, as with Jug- Ling, Brab- LiNG, until by hook or by crook it is taken with Ang- LiNG, I have seen many of these Prow- Ling fisher- men end their lives like swans (in a manner singing) and sometimes making their wills at Wapping} or looking through a hempen window at St. Thomas Waterings^ or the three legged instrument near Paddington} There were many other sorts of Ling ^Wapping, — Here was Execution Boclt, the usual place for hanging pirates and sea-rovers, at the low-watermark, and there to remain till three tides had overflowed them. — Stow. ^St. Thomas a Waterings was a place nf execution for the county of Surrey, It was situated close to the second milestone on the .Kent road, where was a brook dedicated to St. Thomas a Becket, — " And forth we rid en a lit el more than a paas, Unto the waterynge of Seint Thomas, And there oure ost bigan his hors areste, And seyde ' Lordus, herkeneth if you leste, Ye woot youre forward, and sit you recorde. ' " Chaucer's The Prologue to The Canterhury Tales. ^The Three Legged Instrument near Paddington. — The gallows, " Tyburn-tree," was a triangle upon three legs, and is thus described in the i6th and 17th centuries. If Mr. Robins's location of the gibbet be correct, it was subsequently changed ; for in the lease of the house No. 49, Connaught- square, the gallows is stated to have stood upon that spot. Smith ( Hist. St. Mary-le-Bone ) states it to have been for many years a standing fixture on a small eminence at the corner of the Edgware-road, near the turnpike, on the identical spot where a toll-house was subsequently erected by the Uxbridge- road Trust. Beneath this place lie the bones of Bradshaw, Ireton, and other 4 A Navy of Land Ships. sent to the Navy, which (to avoid proHxity) I will but name, as Quarrel-LiNG, was for the diet of some of the noble science, some for roaring boys, and rough-hewd tittery tues.-^ The nineteenth sort of Ling was Fumb-LiNG, which is for their diets who have been long married and can get no children. The twentieth, was Ming- Ling, which was for wine merchants, vintners, brewers, and apothe- caries. Jumb-LiNG, and Tumb-LiNG, for the keepers and Cupidian haunters of vaulting houses, Fid-LiNG, Fud-LiNG, and Stumb-LiNG, from the schools of dancing, and drinking. The twenty-sixth sort of Ling was Bung- Ling, which was the fare of quack salvers, mountebanks, ratcatching watercasters, and also for all botching artificers and cobbling tradesmen. Mumb-LiNG was for those that had no need of the tooth-drawer. regicides, which were taken from their graves after the Restoration, and burried under the gallows. It subsequently consisted of two uprights and a cross-beam, erected on the morning of execution across the Edgware-road, opposite the house at the corner of Upper Bryanstone-street and the Edg- ware-road, wherein the gallows was deposited after being used ; and this house had curious iron balconies to the windows of the first and second floors, where the sheriffs attended the executions. After the place of execution was changed to Newgate in 1783, the gallows was bought by a carpenter, and made into stands for beer-butts in the cellars of the Carpenters' Arms public- house, hard by. — Timhs' "Curiosities of London." ^Tittery Tu. — A cant term for some description of riotous people. No doubt a corruption of Tityre, tu< — JVcires. A Navy of Land Ships. 5 Ster-LiNG money was at such a Scant- Ling, that scarcely it was for any honest man's Hand- Ling. The thirty-one sort of Ling was ^ Pole- Ling, (I do not mean a Pole of Ling,) nor Barber's Pole- LiNG,) which is an universal dish, it needs no mus- tard, for many a commonwealth finds it tart enough without sauce, yet many men have run in and out of great estates by this only fish : it serves for the diet of project-mongers, monopolitanians and diligent suit-joggers. The last Ling was Pill- Ling, which is much of the nature of Pole- Ling, and so with Pole-LiNG and Pill- Ling, I conclude my thirty-two sorts of Ling. For other sorts of fish they had Carp enough for a word speaking, great store of Cods-heads, Sharks more than a good many ; plenty of Dog- fish, and Poor-Johns^ in great abundance. For flesh it was so plentiful, that he that loved beef might have every day a stone (if he had a stomach to eat it :) their mutton was neither ewe nor lamb, but to my knowledge they wanted no Weather^ : they had also good sort of venison, but it was rascal dear, or deer-rascals with some Fawns ; ^PoLE FOR Poll. — For the sake of the equivoque. 'Poor-John.— The fish called Hake when dried and salted, from pauvre Jean, the French name of this fish. ^Weather.— For wether to favour the equivoque. 6 A Navy of Land Ships. they had Hkewise store of fowl, as gull, goose, widgeon, woodcock, buzzard, owls, cormorants, quails, rails, cuckoos, wag-tails, ring-tails, and bittoures.-^ Their fruit was medlers, and wildings,^ and instead of a flawn or a custard, they were glad sometimes to dine and to sup with Fool! For preservation of their healths, they had neither Mithridate, or any other drug : for one Doctor Scour gut, (who married with Florence, the only daughter to Sir Reverence Stirstink, of Hole- haven in the county of Ruff-million glisterpipe- maker) was the physician to the whole navy, who did compound a preservative of powdered cox- combs with ass's milk, which did very well agree with their natures. Their bread and drink I had almost forgotten ; indeed it was not rusk as the Spaniards use, or oaten-cakes, or bannocks, as in North Britain, nor biscuit as Englishmen eat ; but it was a bread which they called Cheat-bread, and a mad fellow told me, it was so called, because the baker was never like to be paid for it. Their drink was brewed with a malt, made only with Wild-oats, but instead of hops, there was store of Rue, with a little heartsease. And thus were they victualled : now I proceed to the description of the Navy. ^BiTTOURES.— The Bittern. ''Wilding. — The crab-apple. Why these Skips are called Ships. HAVE little to say to the reader, because I neither know him nor his conditions, therefore to avoid lying and flattery, in putting the styles of christian, gentle, courteous, friendly, learned or honest. ^ upon the atheist, barbarous, hateful, igno- rant, or dishonest ; the reader gets no epistle at all of me : if he be good and well inclined, it is the better for himself ; and if otherwise, it shall not be much the worse for me, there's the point. Now the reasons why all these words, or names of my moral navy are called Ships, or do end with the word or syllable Ship, as Lord-SniP, Lady-Snip, Friend- Ship, and the like, &c. The reasons I take to be these which followeth, and as I imagine most sig- nificate ; first the whole life of man is a Ship under sail : for be it either day or night, storm or calm, light or dark, hot or cold, winter or summer, yet the Ship is in her course, ever going in her voyage ; so likewise Man^ let him go, sit, stand, ride, run, work, 8 A Navy of Land Ships. play, sleep or wake, yet he is still going onward in his mortal passage. A Ship is ever in need of re- pairing, so is a man either in body, mind or goods. A Ship is ever unsteady ; a Man is always mutable : some Ships are hard to be steered ; some men are harder to be guided. Some Ships bear so great a sail that they bear their masts by the board and make all split again : some Men do spread such a clew in a calm, that a sudden storm half sinks them and tears all. Some Ships are so favoured by the wind, that they make rich voyages and quick re- turns ; some men are so fortunate, that wealth and promotions do fall in their mouths. Some Ships run through many a storm with much danger, and yet are so unlucky, that they never make a good voyage ; some Men (being born under a three- penny planet) can neither by pains, watching, labour or any industry be worth a groat. Some Ships by being overladen have been cast away ; some men by taking in too much have been forced to cast all away. Ships do wallow and heave, and sit upon the sea ; Men do stumble, reel and stagger on the land. Some Ships have their cracks and imperfec- tions gaily hid with painting : some Men have their bad intents covered over with hypocrisy, and their diseased carcases covered with good clothes. Some Ships do bring profitable commodities, and some bring baubles, toys and trifles ; some Men do enrich A Navy of Land Ships. 9 a kingdom with their wisdom, authority, and practice in virtue : and some men do disgrace and im- povish a monarchy by folly, ill employed power, and sottishness in vanity. Some Ships will run to lee- ward extremely if the wind be scant, some again will bravely beat it out to windward and weather it; so some Men will shrink from their friends or from themselves, in a storm, or trouble, or poverty ; and some few again will bear up stiff, con- stantly, contemning and opposing the brunts of Fortune. Some Ships are taken by others and made prizes ; some Men are captived by others and made slaves. Some Ships are commended more for their bulk and beauty, then for any good service ; and some Men are more applauded for their fortunes, than for any good conditions. If I would insist longer on these comparisons, I could enlarge my induction to the bounds of a pamphlet : there- fore I will conclude it with King Solomons simili- tude, Wisdom 5. cap. 10. That man's life passeth as a Ship that passeth over the waves of the waters : therefore I wish all men to be provided as good Ships should be, let Hope be their cable, let charity and love guard and compass, till they come happily to the haven of Graves- end, and from thence to that blessed Harbour which hath no end. The Lord-SniF with her Regiment. HE Lord-SniP, a very ancient and honour- able vessel of mighty bulk and burthen, being sufficiently furnished with victuals, munition, tackling and men, was under the command of the noble Don Diego de fijiy Cankoemuskcod, who was Admiral or high Adellantado of the whole fleet. The captain of her was Signor Caco Fogo, (a Neapo- litan of Civita Vecchid) a sweet affable gentleman, yet of so dainty a disposition, and so experienced in navigation, that he could not endure the scent of the pump, and for the more sweet keeping of the ship, he protested that he would have no more of those stinking pumps to sea with him: he came very honestly by his place, for he bought it with his ° money, besides the help of a lady's letter ; and to give him his due, he was well skilled mih^Ass-trolabe, and could take the elevation of the pole, as well with a batoon or a broom-staff, as with any Jacob's A Navy of Land Ships. II staff m Africa. In foul weather he most constantly kept his cabin, giving himself wholly to fasting and meditation, often casting up his accounts as near as he could, bearing himself so equally betwixt well doing and ill-taking, that in all the whole voyage no man could tax him for taking any harm, or doing any good. The Master's name was Petrus Vainglorious, his Mate Hicgo Hypocrisy, men that have steered the course in the Lord-Snip many hundred years : the boatswain and his mate were Scoff and Derision, with Gripe the Steward, Avarice the Purser, and Lawrence Delay the Paymaster ; kinsman to Tom Long the Carrier : which three last are thought to be very arrant knaves, who have spoiled the govern- ment of the whole Ship. In brief, the Gunner, Coxswain, Swabber, and Ship-boys were plentifully stored with pride, flattery, and other the like gentle- man like virtues. The Ships that went in the same regiment or squadron, with the Lord-Snip, were these that follow, namely, I The Ambition, 2 The Presumption, two stout Ships of very lofty sail and great burthen. 3 The Oppression, a Ship of account and esti- mation. 4 The Costly, a Ship of great charge. B 12 A Navy of Land Ships. 5 The Mutable, a brave Ship, but in no course steady. 6 The Self-love, a great Ship, but of small service. 7 The Delight, a fair Ship to the eye. 8 The Hopewell, a Ship of great expectation. 9 The Debt, a Ship of great burthen and much receipt. 10 The Satisfaction, a large long ship, a very cart, a slug and slow of sail. 1 1 The Promise, a Ship very unsteady, yet her sails ever full. The Scholar Suiv with her regiment. HIS Ship is a very ancient Ship, and was built at the first, and hath been ever since repaired with infinite cost, pains, and study. She hath been of that worthy estima- tion, that the monarchs, kings, princes, and estates of the world, have made it their chiefest felicity to sail in her : all famous divines and philosophers have steered her, and been steered by her. Some of our greatest mariners have been much troubled with plurisies, pluralities I would say, and some have been great merchants at steeple fair, but it was in the old time, Money, was as good as ready Money. The arts mathematical and metaphysical have been the rich prizes and purchases of her painful voyages : and now at this present (though the world be much altered with her) She tries her fortunes in this adventurous navy. The captain's name was Sapience, the master Experience, his mate Knowledge, and every other officer correspondent, being munitioned and victualled for the enterprise 14 A Navy of Land Ships. she set sail, with her squadron or regiment of Ships hereunder named. 1 The Serious, a Ship laden with gravity. 2 The Foresight, a Ship worthy of much regard. 3 The Desert, a Ship of great service and small payment. 4 The Industriotis, a good profitable Ship. Then there attend her five small pinnaces and frigates, namely, the Dogmatist, the Captious, the Prejudicate, the Carper, and the Critic. These five were manned with young bachelors of art, puny inns of courtmen, and humorous Poets, who with their continual cudgeling one another with broken verses, had almost beaten Pris- cianus brains out. The Lacfy-SniF with her Regiment. HIS Lady-Snip was a very comely Ship to the eye, set out with most excessive and superfluous cost, she was most richly adorned and beautified with flags, streamers, pennons, and waistcloths : there was more time spent in rigging of her, than in all the rest of the fleet one after another : her cordage and tackling was of fine silver twist, only her Entering rope was pure gold : her sails were silk, of all the colours in the rainbow : her masts and yards were strong and serviceable : her guys^ bowlines, sheets, tacks, braces, ties, and lifts were all very costly : her gaskets, marlines, cables, hawsers, fish, and cat rope, buoy rope, and boat rope, bolt rope and top rope, the guest rope, bttcket rope, and fort rope, shrouds, lanyards, ratlings, halliards, rope- yarns, sounding lines, were all of rare stuffs of great price and small profit ; and contrary to any other Ship, she had neither forestay or backstay, for the wind lay in her will, and if she please to sail 1 6 A Navy of Land Ships. any whither, there was no command had power to stop her, or cable and anchors strength to hold her. In a word, she was a fine timbered vessel, and had the virtue to sail without any compass, and indeed she was altogether for fair weather, for if it stormed, rained, or blew, or sun shined too hot, she would lie at anchor, and keep her harbour a month together, so that neither force or fair means could ever un- move her. Her Ordnance or Artillery were in her chase or head, and her powder and munition were in her stern or poop, she is somewhat tickle in steerage, but in sight she is sufficient to sink or blow up, as many as dare board or grapple with her. She was laden out with poor beggarly commodities, as lead, tin, leather, tallow, corn, and broad cloth, but she came richly fraughted home with apes, monkeys, merkins,^ mar- mosets, Spanish potatoes, ostrich's feathers, island dogs, St. Martins beads and bracelets, cobweb-lawn, tiffanies, dainty dun Popinjay green parrots, and paroquets. The master's name was Vanity, who ^Merkin. — False hair. Generally explained imles mnlieris ascititia. Jordan tells us that spectators at shows often " screwed" themselves up in the balconies to avoid the fireworks which " instantly assaulted the perukes of the gallants and the merMns of the madanies. " " Why dost thou reach thy merMn, now half dust ? Why dost provoke the ashes of thy lust ?" Fletcliev's Poems, p. 95. *' 3Iirliln rubs of and often spoiles the sport." MS. Htn^l. 7,312, p. 124. ■^IlulUiveWs Lictionary of Arc! Laic and Prochictnl Words, A Navy of Land Ships. 17 had the chief command and guide of the Ship and Regiment, who in steering of his course, was neither miserable or Hberal, but ahogether a most worthy, worthless, careful, negligent, prodigal. The other ships and vessels that were in her Regiment under her command, were named as followeth. 1 The Dainty, a ship purposely built for the carnage of such things as were far fetched and dear bought, and by consequence proverbially good for ladies. 2 The Pride, an intolerable gaudy vessel, of an exceeding lofty sale, with top and top gallant. 3 The Coy, a little frigate, of small service. 4 The Bisdahi, a great ship of much use, but of very strange course or steerage. 5 The Nice, a frigate that carried the sweet- meats or confectionary. 6 The Fashion, a galleyfoist, only for the service of the wardrobe. 7 The Bauble, a small frigate only for pleasure. 8 The Toy, a pinnace, that was appointed to attend and follow the Fashion. 9 The Wanton, a catch. 10 The Gewgaw, 3. hoy. 11 The Whimwham^ a drumler. i8 A Navy of Land Ships. All these three were of most especial use and service for the Lady-Snip, whose chief charge and employment was to wear, eat, and drink the best, and withal not to pester, wrong or oppress the fleet, with good examples, or directions. The Good-fellowSni? with her Regiment. HIS Ship is very old, and much out of reparations : she hath been of such use and employment, that she hath sailed into all countries of the inhabitable world ; she only is the greatest traveller, for there is not a haven or harbour under the sun, but she hath cast anchor in it. Wine merchants, vintners, brewers, and victuallers, have thrust themselves into the whole Lordships, by the often returns, lading and un- lading of this Ship, yet now she is so weather- beaten, with the storms of time, and so wind-shaken with too much use, that through want she is not able to bear half the sail which she formerly hath done. In the golden age, when Sattcrn reigned (long before the two wrangling words Thine and Mine, had set the world together by the ears) then was the Good-fellowship in such request, that all estates and conditions sailed in her, then her voyages and quick returns (her lading being for the most part hearty love, and true affection) did maintain and keep such unity, 20 A Navy of Land Ships. that whosoever was not a manner or sailor in her, was esteemed as a branded stigmatized infamous person. But at last her navigators began to steer another course, for some of them had learned the art of covetousness, and with a devilish kind of bawdry, called usury and extortion, made gold and silver engender and beget yearly so much, and so much the hundred, when tailors, like so many wicked spirits, flew from one country to another, bringing home more fashions, than would kill a hundred thousand horses^; when for the maintenance of those fashions, the earth was equally shared and divided amongst the people (some all, and some not a foot) with hedges, ditches, bounds, mounds, walls, and marks, when my Lady Rusty began to take such a thrifty order, that all the meat in the kitchen should be cheaper, than the washing and painting of her visage (if you allow the powdering of her bought or borrowed perriwig into the bargain) when the world came to this pass, then this good Ship, this Good-fellowship being forsaken of her pilots, masters, and mariners, all her sailors in little time ^Passions, &c. — Corrupted from farcins — Fr. for the farcey — a disease to which horses are subject. " Troubled with lampass, infected with the fashions.'''' Taming the Shrew, act. iii. sc. 2. *' 8h. What shall we learn by travel ? An. Fashions. « • Sh. That's a beastly disease. " Decker's Old FortimatuSi A Navy of Land Ships. 21 declined to be no better than swabbers, so that through want of skilful managing and reparation, and with extreme age, she is nothing so serviceable as she hath been, yet as she is, she sets forward with her best ability in this voyage. The captain's name was Hercules Dtcmplin, a Norfolk gentleman, the Master Giles Gaimnon, he was born at Romford, the rest of the mariners it were needless to name them. The other Ships and vessels that were in the same regiment with the Good-fellowship, were these. I The Drunken Siss} a great Ship, it is thought she was built at Middleborough ; but how- soever, she hath made many voyages into England : she is so beloved, that she needs not press any man to serve in her : for all sorts of people do daily come aboard of her, and freely, and voluntarily offer her their best service, so that it is a wonder to see how bravely she is manned : and (many times) women do take their turns at helm, and steer 'their courses as well as men. She is a ship contrary to all other ships, for she rolls, reels, and tumbles most of all when she is in a calm harbour ; and the more lading she takes in, the more unsteady she is ; for if the sea be as calm as a milk pan, yet is she ever tossing, which makes her mariners sea sick, and ^Siss. — A huge fat woman. 12 A Navy of Land Ships. subject to much casting. Her ordnance are gallons, pottles, quarts, pints, and the miser's gallon^ ; with three hooped pots, cans, godards^ : in the which artillery, almost every one hath the skill to charge and discharge, maintaining the fight as long as they can either stand or understand. The master of her is an Amsterdain d man, his name is Cornelms van Broken-gulch; the master gunner was one Denis Whirlpool, a man of Dieppe, with Gulph the purser. Swallow the boatswain, and Swill the steward. 2 The second ship in the Regiment with the Good-fellow-i•/^^}^', was the Sow of Flushing, she was a vessel unseemly to the eye, but yet serviceable. 3 The Carouse, a ship of hot service, and as the spider sucks the sweetness of the fairest flowers, converting their juice into poison ; so the sailors in this ship, have taken a use to drink other men's healths, to the amplifying of their own diseases. 4 The Qtcaff, a quick smart ship much of the bulk and carriage of the Carouse. 5 The Bissle of Breda, a small ship, yet in continual service, her worst fault is, she is so low built, that her mariners can hardly keep themselves dry. Miser's Gallon — i.e., a very small measure. ''Three hooped Pots, &c. — There were generally three hoops on the quart pot, and if three men were drinking, each drank his lioop or third por- tion. See note at p. 8 of Decker's GulVs Horiibooli in the present series. A Navy of Land Ships. 23 The Sleeper of Rotterdam, a great ship, of ex- ceeding necessary use, and much employment, she is to the whole Regiment, in nature of an hospital or spital, for when any of them are wounded, pot-shot, jug-bitten, or cup-shaken, so that they have lost all reasonable faculties of the mind, and in a manner are so mad, that they dare speak felony, whistle treason, and call any Magnifico a mongrel ; in such desperate cases as this, the distracted parties are brought aboard the Sleeper, where Time like a good cloth worker, with setting a good nap upon their threadbare eyes, their wits that were spent, and like northern cloth shrunk in the wetting, are speedily recovered. So likewise for the limbs and members of the body, she is the only j^smlapian Tabernacle ; and to speak the truth, St. Winifred's WelP ; the Bath, or the Spa, are not compared to this Ship, for speedy ease and cure ; for I have seen many that were so dim-sighted, that they could not see their way at noon-day, and others have been so defective in their speech, that they could not speak one wise word ; others so lame of their legs, that they could neither go or stand, and with a few hours lying aboard of this easy Ship, their sights, speech, and legs, have been all recovered. ^St. Winifred's Well.— A Holywell in Flintshire. 24 A Navy of Land Ships. 7 The Whiff, a small Pinnace of Varna. 8 The Puff, a Bark of Virginia. 9 The Vapour, a Frigate of Trinidado. 10 The Snuff, a Carvel of Burmudas, 11 The Bark-beggarly, before mentioned, manned with old cashiered soldiers, mariners, and servingmen, negligent tradesmen, with some few courtiers, whose diet is only Starve- Z^W^. The ApprenticeSni?. HIS Ship is very slow of sail, so that a man may make two East hidia voyages, or girdle the terrestrial globe twice about (as Sir Francis Drake did once), before she can make a return ; the compass whereby she shows her course is for (the most part) in our Troynovantine ocean, within the sound of Bowbell ; instead of a map or chart, she is directed by an Indenture, whereby she hath more knowledge in the time to come, than any witch or conjurer ; for by only looking on it, the least Ship-boy that's in her, can tell when her voyage will be done ; she is a vessel that is both singular and single, for none but single persons must board her ; and (to avoid double dealing) she hath banished matrimony out of her quarters, for seven years or more^ ; her mariners, do (against their wills) endure much hardness, as hunger, thirst, heat, cold, watching, toil, and travail ; yet many times ^Matrimony out of her Quarters, &c.— Apprentices are prohibited from marrying by the terms of their Indentures. 26 A Navy of Land Ships. they are allowed more lamb^ and ribroast than they would have ; yet by patience and long-suffering, many of them do change to be preferred : (in time) they sail in the Lord-Snip, Court-Snip, Surety-SniP, or some other bottom of honour or eminency ; for they claim a freedom of all trades whatsoever, and are so mystical in their diversities of mysteries, that not one man living can describe them : yet (for the most part) v/eight and measure are their guide, by weight from the scruple to the dram, to the tun, to the three tuns, and to the three hundred thousand millions : and by measure, from the half-quarter pint, to the whole quarter sack ; from less than the inch to the ell, to the furlong, to the firmanent, and down to the bottom of the cellar, to the ocean and the tailor's hell,^ who indeed are accounted the best bread men in the ship, and such as go through stitch with what they take in hand. There are divers functions which never do come aboard of this Ship, as cuckolds, wittols,^ and others which I could name : but to supply these wants, she is seldom unfurnished of young lying knaves, whores, and thieves, who (as the cockle grows among the wheat) do sail in the Apprentice-SniP, and share as much benefit as most of her labouring mariners. She ^Lamb, for lam (to beat soandly), for the sake of the pun. ''Tailor's Hell. — The receptacle of tailor's clippings — vnlgo, cabbage ! ^WlTTOL. — A willing or contented cuckold. A Navy of Land Ships. 27 hath small attendance, for indeed she is the only bounden servant in the navy, only there is a sluggish vessel called the Tedious^ that sails with her, with four small pinnaces, as 1 The Lodge. 2 The Diet 3 The WasL 4 The Wring, And sometimes double, single, or no apparel is allowed to the sailors when the voyage is ended. The Cour^-Smv, with her Regiment, OURT-Ship, is a vessel of royal and mag- nificent burthen, of eminent command, and invincible force, if she be well manned, carefully rigged, discreetly ballasted and wisely steered ; she is of that impregnable strength, that neither the storms of saucy censure, the gusts of malapert babbling, the flaws of envy, the tempests of temporizing tale-bearers, or the smooth calms of flattery, can make her sail to any other harbour than the famous ports and havens of virtue, honour and perpetual happiness. But (to use sea terms and phrases) there are a crew of unprofitable steal-shares^ peremptory hot- shots, idle flat-sheets, and unserviceable vessel's loose- guise, that do attempt to board this admired ship, and so having boarded her (like drones) they eat, and live upon the labours and deserts of the painful, industrious mariners ; these are the youths that after they have foisted themselves 4nto some mean place of office, though it be but a swabber, liar, or liar's A Navy of Land Ships. 29 mate (always provided, that they have sworn them- selves into good clothes) then let all their acquaint- ance and friends stand further off, for they esteem themselves to be no more mortal, so that a man had far better speak to the master and owner of the ship himself, than to any of these puck-foists : yet there is great show of zeal in their salutation to any one they meet, for the word God save ye, it is as common as the air with them, but in effect they neither mind God, nor the party they speak to, and (like an ape for an apple) they can kiss their paw, inviting a man to their cabin ; but whosoever takes them at their word, they hold him to want manners, and to be a fellow of no breeding. The ignorant ass that carried the Egyptian goddess Isis in procession, when the more ignorant people kneeled down to adore the goddess, the witless ass thought it had been in rever- ence to him : so in like manner these upstart Ship- boys, having once crept into an inferior office in the Ship, and withal being covered with silk, and good borrowed beaten satin, lined and buttered through with plush or velvet, they arrogantly imagine, that all the reverence or respect that men do, either for their undeserved place, or gaudy outside, is done to their persons ; but I would have them understand, that they are honoured and worshipped, with the same devotion as the bar- barous Brazilians, Americans, and Virginians do 30 A Navy of Land Ships. adore the devil withal, which is not for the hope of any good which they expect, but for fear of the hurt which they suppose the devil can do them. The conclu- sion is, that when a storm or tempest comes, the noble, stout, skilful navigator stands to his tackling, and courageously applies himself either to top and yard, helm, and lead, from post to stem, and from prow to quarter, when all the service Monsieur Mushroom and his Mate can do, is either to eat, sleep, spew, and stink, and at last for some notorious or meritorious work, they are ducked from the yard arm of State into the deep sea of disgrace, and turned ashore like Cains imps, preferred to their due estates of runagates and vagabonds. The sqtiadron of Ships that went under the command of the Court-SuiF. 1 The Renown, a Ship of worthy port, strength, and burthen, manned with approved and experienced soldiers, and sailors. 2 The Courage, 3 The Resolution. 4 The Foresight. 5 The Expedition. 6 The Loyalty. The Perseverance, six tall Ships of most ex- cellent service and performance. 7 The Compliment. 8 l:\izBrisk, A Navy of Land Ships. 31 9. The Strange^ three gallant pinnaces, but of very small use, profit, or service. 10 The Obliviotis, a Ship of great burthen and most plentifully manned, with those that had forgotten their parents, kindred, friends, birth, estate, breeding, and indeed, such as were so far out of knowledge to know any man, that they had no acquaintance of themselves, and being mere strangers to their own qualities and conditions ; and thus was the Court-SHip appointed and attended : much of the great ordnance, were promises, the powder breath, and airy performance were the shot, which by reason of the toss- ing of the billow, and unquiet surges of the sea, did often miss the mark. The Friend'Smv AS a vessel of great account and estima- tion, David and Jonathan, Da7no?i and Pythias, Pleiades and Orestes, Alexander and Lodowick, Scipio and Laelius, did lovingly and unfeignedly sail in her: indeed she was ever free for all comers of what country, sex, age, or state soever, for the word friend imports free end, which is as much as the end and intention of Friend-SHiP is free : In these latter times, she would have gone to sea, but there were not men to be gotten to man her, so for a shift they were feign to furnish her with kindred, uncles, and cousins, with here and there a false brother ; Herod and Pilate, went aboard this Ship (with a shameful deal of love from the teeth outward) but their purpose was to destroy innocent blood. It was a merry world when Fidelity was master of this Ship, Constancy his mate, and Plain- dealing the boatswain, but those worthy mariners are dead, and an old proverb, as sure as check with them : in a word, the old ship is decayed and A Navy of Land Ships. 33 rotten, having only the bare name left, for she is so much past service, that she can hardly steer or bear sail, with an adverse contrary gale, she will fall to leeward much abominably, yet with a prosperous and fortunate wind, she will spread all her canvass exceeding fare, and hypocritical, and so to I will de- scribe no further, because she is grown to that cheap rate, that a man may have her at Billingsgate for a box of the ear. The Friend-Snip had two very small pinnaces in her Squadron, named, 1 The Cog. 2 The Foist, other attendants she had few or none, for indeed none but these two and one great Ship called the Fraud, were in request. The Fellow-Smv with her Regiment. [HIS Ship was in old time a Ship of unity I and equahty, when every man thought better of his neighbour than of himself, then the Master and his mate (in loving sympathy) had inward fellow feeling of the 'griefs, pains, toils, labours, infirmities, and wants of the meanest sailor or ship-boy ; but now the case is so altered, that though we be all of one house, yet not all Fellows : and though all in one livery, yet (by your leave) no Fellow-Smp, for by that consequence, many times the page, the footman, the coachman and his horses might challenge Fellow-Snip, by their trapping and comparable caparisons ; indeed, self-love have bred such a disunion and disconsonance amongst men, that one thief doth disdain Fellowship with another: so that this Ship (to patch up her reputation in some poor fashion) because she will be manned and laden with none but with fellows, she carries none but foot-ball players, and watermen : her lading being ploughing-oxen, coach-horses, boots, spurs, A Nayy of Land Ships. 35 shoes, pantofles, slippers, galoshes, gamashes,^ socks, cuffs, gloves, gauntlets, case of rapiers, and such things as were by art or nature coupled and made fellows ; this Ship was once of that estima- tion, that Julius CcBsar would have been content to have sailed in her, but that the gieat Pompey scorned any equality, and would by no means board the Fellow-Snip with any man. In brief she is a vessel of such duplicity, that a fellow with one eye one ear, hand, stone, leg, or foot, must not enter her, nor any sculler, or single souled person come, within shadow of the smoke's shadow of her ordnance. The ships that went in her Regiment or squadron were these. 1 The Distrust; a ship that sails always near the Fellow-Snip. 2 The Pickthank, a Ship of great employ- ment, that commonly sails out of sight or hearing, her lading being for the most part, private com- plaints, whispering intelligences, and secret informa- tions. 3 The Brawly a turbulent Ship in continual action. 4 The Snarly a small dogged pinnace, of more use than profit. ^Gamashes. — The term was formerly applied to a kind of loose drawers or stockings worn outside the legs over the other clothing, and much used by travellers. The Foot-manSmv with her Regiment, HIS Ship is of most ancient and greatest antiquity, for she was before any other Ship was thought on, our old father Adam sailed in her, and was the first footman in the world. And Prince Absalo^n the son of David had no less than fifty of these terrestrial amblers to pass before him ; how it came to be called a Ship, I cannot relate, but by an anagrammatical or mystical conjecture, the only trade of a footman is running, and running away, and quite contrary to valour or manhood, he is accounted the best man amongst them, that can run fastest, and he is called and esteemed a man of good Footman-SniP ; which word anagrammatized, is Foe to Man-SniP, importing, that running away is an enemy, or foe to manhood, valour and resolution, (thus much by way of paradox). Let the wind blow where it will, yet at all weathers this Ship sails a trot, her light-footed, nimble-heeled mariners (like so many dancers) A Navy of Land Ships. 37 capering in the pumps \_sic\ and vanities of this sinful world, sometimes a morisico^ or trenchmore of forty miles long, to the tune of Dusty my dear, Dirty come thou to me, Done out of the mire, or I wail in woe a7id plunge in pain, all these dances have no other music, except now and then he chance to hear an oath, or a curse or two from the coachman. The Sailors, the most part and best of them, are bred in a kingdom of much fertility and plenty, called Realdine^ where, after they have all their youth been accustomed to wear brouges^ and trousers, their fare being many times shamrocks, oaten-bread, beans, and butter milk, armed upon stark naked, Vith a dart, or a skean,^ steeled with the spirit of Usquebaugh, then they cross a ditch of eight hours sail, and land in the most flourishing kingdom ^MoRisico. — i.e., Morris or Moorish dance, Trenchmore. — A bois- terous dance to a lively tune in triple time. See Stanihurst's Ireland. — Hallimell. ""Realdine. — An anagram of the word Ireland(e) ? ^Brouges. — A kind of coarse shoes. *Stark Naked, — Raw spirits. ^Skean, Skein, Skayne, &c. — A crooked sword, dirk or dagger, used formerly by the Irish. " Duryng this seige arrived at Harflew the Lord of Kylmaine in Ireland, with a band of xvj. hundreth Iryshmen, armed in mayle with dartes and shmjnes, after the maner of their countrey. " Hall, Henry V., f. 28. Against the like fool Irish have I serv'd, And in my skin bear token of their skeins. " Sol'mon and Perseda, a Tragedy, 1599. 38 A Navy of Land Ships. of Triabnie} where by their good Footman-SniP they are turned out of their old habits, into jackets of good preterpluperfect velvet, plated with silver, or Argentum vivum-, (for the quickness) and all to be embroidered back and side, with the best gold twist, and the best of the silk-worm, sometimes with a court (a coat of guard I should say), or a coat of regard, being well guarded, unregarded, with such as deal of feather, ribbons and points, that he seems to be a running haberdasher s shop of small wares. Yet are those men free from pride : for their greatest ambition is, not to ride, but to foot it, or else to sweep chimneys, or to turn costermongers ; this is the altitude of their aim, and the profundity of their felicity, nevertheless they know themselves to be great men's trappings, courageous torch- bearers, illustrious fire-drakes, glorious and sump* tuous turmoilers, they are far from the griping sins of usury and extortion, and are such philoso- phical contemners of the world, that every day they tread it under their feet and trample on it ; and they are such haters of wickedness, that they leave it in all places where they come : they are not covetous of other men's lands, for they make all the haste they can every day to leave it behind them ; they are so much to be trusted, that their words are as ^Triabnie. — The anagram of Britaine, a species of conceit our author was very fond of indulging in whenever an opportunity offered itself, A Navy of Land Ships. 39 good as their bonds, yet in this their humility they may compare with Emperors, for they are as brave as Nero, and can drink with Tiberius : to conclude, the Footman-Snip is manned with well breathed mariners, who after all their long, painful, and faithful service, are shipped in the bark- Beggarly, and brought to an anchor in the haven of Cripple- gate. There were in the Regiment with the Foot- man-Smp four small pinnaces. 1 The Sweaty a vessel of warm employment or hot service. 2 The Moil, a frigate that will endure much foul weather. 3 The Toil, a bark for all weathers, winter or summer. 4. The Cripple, an old drumler quite past service. The Horseman-Sui? with her Squadron, ORSEMAN-Ship had not so fair a begin- ning as Footman-Snip, for Cain was the first vagabond and runnagate in the world, was also the first that backed and managed a horse (as Polydore Vergil saith), no doubt after he had murdered his brother, seeing he could not run from the horror of his conscience, he practised Horseman-SHip, because perhaps he thought to ride from himself. This Ship hath more paces than time hath ; and the comparison may hold well, for in long vacations, quarter days, against payment of bonds, absence of true friends, or protracting of maids' marriages, after the banns have been asked, in these cases the lawyer, the landlord, the usurer, the friends, and the contracted couple, do think time to be foundered, and stark lame, or quite tired, and that his best pace is after fourteen miles in fifteen days ; whilst many a poor client, an unprovided tenant, or unfurnished debtor, or a fellow going to A Navy of Land Ships. 41 be hanged, they think time is all upon the spur, and that he runs at full speed a wild gallop, And as a Ship at sea sails sometimes by the wind, some- times before the wind, sometimes with a quarter wind, sometimes with a flown sheet, and sometimes with tack hard aboard, and bowling stretched and sheet close after, by all which winds she sails several paces : so Horseman-SniP hath the trot, the amble, the rack, the pace, the false and wild gallop, or the full speed, and as several vessels at sea do make a navy, as carracks, argosies, hulks, ships, barks, pinnaces, hoys, drumlers, frigates, bri- gantines, carvels, catches, gallies, gallions : so this Horseman-SniP hath to attend her, her Spanish Jennet, her Barbary Horse, her Naples Cotcrser, her German Steed, her Flanders Mare, her Galloway Nag, her Irish hobby, her French Cheval, her Welsh Pal/ray, her English All, her Smithfield Jade, and her Bartholomew hobby horse; and con- trary to all Ships, which have their bridle, helm or rudder in their stern or tail, the Horseman-Snip is altogether directed and steered by the head, whereby, for want of good managing, many times the rider makes a head-long voyage, (like a man of good forecast) over the horse's head. And as horsemen are none of the best mariners, so mariners are commonly the worst horsemen, as one of them 42 A Navy of Land Ships. being upon a tired hackney once, (his companions prayed him to ride faster) he said he was becalmed. Another mounted upon a foundered jade, that stumbled three or four times, headlong, the sailor imagined that his horse was too much laden ahead, or forward on (as the sea phrase is,) and therefore to ballast him, that he might go or sail with an even keel, he alighted and filled his jerkin sleeves full of stones, and tied them fast to his horse crouper, supposing to make his stern as deep laden as his head, to avoid stumbling. Indeed this Horseman-Snip is never unfurnished of a jades trick, or two at a pinch or time of need, (and contrary to any other ship) in the fairest weather it will heave, set, wince, kick, fling, and curvet, like a midsummer morris-dancer, or as if the devil were practising a French Lavolta or Corranto : but I cannot blame them to be lusty, for they are not put to such hard allowance as many poor sea- faring manners are with a snatch and away but Horseman-SniP hath rack and manger, so much at command, that provender pricks them, either to tilt or tourney, or long, or short journey, and if good literature may be in a horse, then I am sure many of them are so well littered, and they are so proud of it, that morning and evening, the groom, hostler, or horse-keeper, are feign to smooth, cog and curry favour A Navy of Land Ships. 43 with them. It was reported lately in a courant (for current news) that a troop of French horse, did take a fleet of Turkish gallies, in the Adriatic sea, near the Gulf of Venice^ the news was welcome to me though I was in some doubt of the truth of it, but after I heard that the horses were shod with very thick cork : and I am sure I have heard of many impossibilities as true as that. Of all living things, a horse hath the strangest burial being dead ; for wolves, dogs, swines, kites, ravens, crows, and such beasts and birds, of prey and rapine, are commonly the living sepulchres of dead horses : and now I remember that thirty years since, I read of rich and magnificent funeral of a horse, which was the beloved palfrey of the famous Emperor Nero, and as near as I can, I will describe the manner of it. This horse was a present sent to the Emperor from Naples to Rome, being a stately beast, in colour milk white, except here and there a small black spot, like a flea-biting, for which Nero caused him to be named Fleabitten Otho, for the love he bare to one Otho, a parasitical courtier, who was Emperor after him next except Galba, in brief Nero took such a liking to the horse, that he vowed to the immortal gods, that if the beast died whilst he lived, he would have him buried with all the solemnity and funeral pomp as was becoming the horse of so 44 A Navy of Land Ships. great a monarch ; and as fortune would have it, within some few months, the horse proved himself a mortal beast, yielding his breath into the air, his carcase being too compendious an abridgement or epitome for the magnitude or amplitude of his spirit. All the college of horseleeches and farriers in Rome, were commanded to his emboweling, to see if in their mature wisdoms, they could find by the symptoms of what disease he died, every man spent his judgment ; some said he died of a surfeit, having no measure of himself, being pampered with the de- licate delights of the court : others said, that he understood of the oath which his master Nero had taken concerning his pompous burial, and therefore for very pride he died, to make his name famous by his obsequies : but there was one old horseleech that contradicted them all, and he did affirm that he died of a heart grief and sudden melancholy, whereupon the stable-grooms were examined, who quickly cleared all doubts. Truly said one of them, this skilful gentleman hath rightly guessed, for leading Fleabitten Otho to the water, (after he had drunk a health to the Emperor) as he was coming back to the stable, two of the Senator's horses met him, taking the wall of him, not giving him any reverence or dutiful re- spect, he being his Majesty's only favourite (of a horse) for which disobedience of theirs, he pre- A Navy of Land Ships. 45 sently fell sick, took his bed, made his will, and set his goods in such order, as shall be declared. When this news came to the Emperor, he being grieved for his horse, and offended with the two senators who had taught their jades no better manners, than to take the wall of his Majesty^s horse, he dismissed them from their offices, and made two of his own stable-grooms senators in their rooms, and after proceed *.d to the funeral of his horse, in manner and form following. First, two hundred p )or galled hackneys, and next three hundred labouring asses, all covered with black cotton, going two and two, every one having two bottles of hay on their backs, the only gift of the deceased ; then a hundred hunting nags, and fifty coachhorses, with ten horses of state, with each two horse loaves for their diet bread. Then followed the Plebeians in mourning habit two hundred in number ; next the stable grooms, purveyors, clerks of the stable, farriers, horseleeches, and gentlemen of the stable, three hundred. Then went the saddlers, charioteers, waggoners, carters, sumptermen, littermen and coachmen three hundred. After them singers, Pagan Priests, Flammines and Archflammines^ seventy. Then the hearse richly behung with escutcheons, devices, mottoes, and impresses. 46 A Navy of Land Ships. After them the Emperor Nero chief mourner, and his train borne up by Otho, and young Sporus, Next went two old asses all in black velvet, as mourners of state or Chevals de duel. Then followed Agrippina (Nerds mother) with the fair Poppaea, and the beautiful Acte, (two of his concubines) and after them Galba Nimphidius Vitellius, with others : it is thought that Seneca sat all the while in his study, laughing at the funeral. Lastly, a great troop of straggling attendants : the hearse being set down in Campus Martius, Otho began this speech which followeth, in blank verse. NJURIOUS death, to make an Emperor mourn Fleabitten Othds timeless exequies. Who might have lived, and borne great conquerors. And been the father of most valiant colts; Lament, ye meeds, whereon this palfrey grazed. Ah ! strew the streets of Rome with rotten hay. Let peas, beans, oats, and horse-bread must with grief Rust curry-combs, and saddles rent in sunder. Break stirrup-leathers, girths, and bridle, break. Fall rack and manger, planks all in twain, For you shall ne'er support his weight again. You stable grooms that combed his crisped mane. And oft were graced to make up Othds train, A Navy of Land Ships. 47 Sigh, groan, and weep, lament, and howl and cry, In litter and horse dung everlastingly : Think how brave Otho did his breath respire. Who with his heels hath oft struck sparkling fire. Here Nero speaks. li^^^HE bravest beast that ever Emperor greater grace Than Pegasus bearing Tritonia About the valleys near the Muses hills, In battle swifter than the northern wind, But in a triumph stout and full of state. Lifting his hoofs, as if he scorned the ground. And meant to make the air support his weight. As mannerly and moderate at his meat As is a bridegroom on his wedding day, For never would he touch a lock of hay, Or smell unto a heap of provender Until he heard a noise of trumpet s sound, Whereby he knew our meat was served in. But after meals, how he would meditate Upon his tutor s reverend documents. And by himself would practise what was taught backed. That thumped the field of Mars with him, 48 A Navy of Land Ships. Offering to run the ring, and fetch curvets, To trot in state as we were on his back, And to out-do his schoolmaster in art, The thought of these things ( Otho) kills my heart. Otho speaks to the two asses. HEN these poor animals have cause to weep. Most reverenc asses, you have lo'^^t a friend, A friend, a father have your worships lost, Who would have given you pensions in your age, And made you beadsmen, free from carriages. When he lay speechless, on his death bed, then He pointed to the hayloft with his heels. As who should say, if I die^ give it them. Then to the Wardens of his Company, (For he was made free of the blacksmith's craft) He turn'd about, bade them pull off his shoes, And take them as true tokens of his love. And as he dying showed his love to them. Because his master did delight in plays, He willed that of his mane should beards be made ; And of his tail, a head-tire for a devil. One ass he made his sole executor, A Navy of Land Ships. 49 The other overseer of his will : Grant, Jupiter they, may perform the same To do and over-see, that men may say, They were just overseers another day. Epitaph. ERE lies the horse, whose four foot pro- geny Did trot in blood before the walls of Troy ; Yea in the bowels of the Greeks perdie. And on his breast this motto, Par ma foi, Kin (by the sire) to winged Pegastis, And by the mother, to the king of mules Whose uncle was the great Bucephalus, Whose arms, four horse shoes, and the field was Gules. To conclude, this HorsemanSni? after many storms, tempests, gusts, and flaws, came at last home to her ancient haven the bear-garden, richly laden with these commodities following. The Chinegall, the navelgall, windgall, spurgall, lightgall, and shacklegall, the worms, the staggers, the mallenders, and sallenders, scratches, pole-evil, the anticore, and the pompardye, the dropsy, the 50 A Navy of Land Ships. fever, the palsy, the glanders, the frenzy, the cough, and the colt-evil, the yellows, the fashions, the splinters, the spavins, the ring-bones, the quitter- bones, the curbs, the rotten-frush, and the crown- scab, the hide-bound, the hawes, the crest-fall, the vives, the bloody riffs, the cramp, and the canker, the houghs, the toothache, the surfeit, the tongue- hurt, the paps, and the bladders, the tiredness, the lousiness, the surbate, the farcy, the pose, and the strangle, the broken-wind, the hoof-bound, the botch, the bots, the wen in the groin, the rot in the lungs, the kibes, the pearl, and the pin, and the webb, the cloyd, the blood-shot, the wrung in the withers, the strain, the prick in the sole, the loose in hoof, the gravel, the foundring, and the shedding of the hair, and the horse-hipped, the wrench, the neckcrick, and the shoulder splat.^ These are the commodities wherewith the Horseman-Snip was freight, which are so shared and divided, that a man cannot light of any horse, young or old, but he is furnished with one, two, or more of these excellent gifts. The Ships that attended in the squadron or regiment with the Horseman-Snip, were these. I The Race, an adventurous vessel of much expectation, and admirable swiftness. "^See Biondello's speech descriptive of Petruchio's horse in Taming of the ShreWj act iii. sc. 2. A Navy of Land Ships. 51 2 The Pos^, a vessel of much use, quick re- turn, and exceeding hazard, toil and travel. 3 The Hackney, a most serviceable pinnace, that endures all weathers, and is so common that she is to be hired by any or used by all. The Surety Sm^ with her Regiment, HIS is a Ship of great antiquity, and makes more voyages than all the rest of the navy, she is the only merchant adven- turer under the sun, for they that sail in her, do hazard goods, lands, money, reputation, friends, kindred, credit, liberty and life ; of all which rich commodities (always at her returns) she is so pro- vident, that she makes one jail or other her ware- house, where it is more safely kept under lock and key, than the golden apples of the Hesperides were guarded by the dragon : she is so easy to be boarded, that a man need not trouble his feet to enter her, or use any boat to come to her, for if all her mariners should go to her by water, then were a waterman the richest trade below the moon ; only a dash with a pen, the writing of a man's name, passing his word or setting his mark (though it be but the form of a pair of pot hooks, a cross, a crooked billet, or a for John Tompson^ any of these facile ways hath shipped a man into A Navy of Land Ships. 53 the Surety-SniP, during his hfe and his heirs after him, and though the entrance into her be so easy, yet she is so full of impertinent and needy courtesy, that many men will lend a hand into her, with more fair entreaties, requests and invitations, than are commonly used to a mask at the court, or a gross of gossips in the country, and being once entered, a tenpenny nail driven to the head may as soon leap out of an oaken post, as a man may get ashore again ; she is painted on the outside with vows and promises, and within her are the stories of the tattered prodigal, eating husks with the swine, the picture of Niobe, with Alecto, Tisiphone, and Megcera, dancing lacrymse : her arms are a goose quill or pen, couchant in a sheep-skin field fable, the motto above Noverint universi^ the sup- porters a usurer, and a scrivener, the crest a Wood- cock} the mantles red wax, with this other motto beneath, Sealed and delivered, this Ship hath the art to make parchment the dearest stuff in the world : for I have seen a piece little bigger than my two hands, that hath cost a man a thousand pound ; I myself paid a hundred pound once for a small rotten remnant of it. She is rigged most strangely, her ropes and cables are conditions and obligations, her anchors are leases forfeited, her lead and line are Mortgages, her main sails are interchangeable ^Woodcock. — A silly fellow. 54 A Navy of Land Ships. Indentures, and her topsails bills and bonds, her small shot are arrests and actions, her great ordnance are extents, outlawries and executions : all her decks are struck with tenter-hooks, to hold those fast that enter her, her lading is locks, keys, bolts, shackles, manacles, fetters, grates, traps for vermin, gins for wild gulls, baits for tame fools, springes for woodcocks, pursenets for conies, toils for mad bucks, pens for geese, hooks for gudgeons, snares for buzzards, bridles for old jades, cttrbs for colts, pitfalls for bullfinches, and hempen-slips for asses, and besides all this, she is plentifully stored with want, hunger, cold, poverty and nakedness. The ocean that she sails in, is the spacious Marshall Sea,-^ sometimes she anchors at the Kings- Bench, sometimes at the Gulf of the Gate-house, sometimes at the White Lion Creek, sometimes at Newgate Road, sometimes at Ltcdgate Bay, sometimes at Wood-street Harbour, and sometimes at the Poultry Haven. There is great reason to call a man being bound for another, Surety-Snip, for a ship is an unruly beast, if she be not surely tyed, moored, and anchored, and therefore to be a Stirety is as much to say Ty-sure, the addition of the word ship, being a kind of metaphorical allusion, to the turbulent tossing of the unfortunate surety, upon the restless ^Marshalsea, &c. — Prisons then existing in and near L ondon. A Navy of Land Ships. 55 waves and billows of miserable varieties and muta- bilities of time and trouble. And though Surety-SniP be (for the most part) prejudicial and baneful only to itself, yet as in the Sea, the rising of one wave proceeds out of the fall of another ; so one out of the ruins of Surety-Snip wreck, (like Beetles or Scarabs which breed out of dung) there do spring a swarm or generation of virtues (Vipers I was about to say) as busy Solici- tors, nimble-tongued Pettifoggers, greedy Serjeants, hungry Yeomen, devouring Catchpoles, boisterous Bailiffs, Marshal's men merciless, dogged Jailors and currish Under keepers : for as butcher's trade is to live upon the slaughter of beasts ; so cannot the kennels, litters and styes of those above-named Anthropophagi or cannibals, live, eat, or subsist, but upon the confusion of men, and as a horse being dead in the fields and stripped, is a banquet for dogs, hogs, ravens, kites, and crows, so is a surety to those vermins, who devour and prey upon his estate and carcase, both alive and dead. But for conclusion of this blunt point, I think I have mistaken all this while in calling StLrety-ship, for the consequence and success of the voyage will better allow it the name of Sure ty Sheep, which is a warning or document to ty the sheep sure, which I imagine to be a significant inversion of the word, for, as the bridle and harness of a live horse, is for 56 A Navy of Land Ships. the most part made of the skin of a dead horse so he that is bound for another man's debt, is Hke a silly innocent sheep (of which flock I may for my rank and calling be a bell-wether) with a bond of a dead sheep's skin ifyed sure, as a sure tye, either to pay the debt, or surely he is sure to lye (if his ability help not) where I would be loth to be his bed- fellow. The Ships and pinnaces that are in the regiment of the Surety-SniP, are these : viz. 1 The Advenhcrotcs, a desperate hot ship, very hard to be guided or steered in any steady course. 2 The Kindheart, a ship that will sail any whither,'" or to what port a man would have her. 3 The Fool, a ship of great burthen, and for sail, and steerage much like the Kindheart. 4 The Negligence, an argosy that through want of good foresight, brought the sttrety-ship in great danger. 5 The Decay, a ship much broken. 6 The Scape-thrift, a small ragged catch, that hangs or depends upon the whole regiment. * i.e. — To what place. The Wor-^YHY with her Squadron or Regiment. P HOUGH the first syllable of this ships name be worse, whereby she is called Worse-Snip, yet she is a better ship than many are aware of, and indeed she is far DO good for every, or for any knave to come board her. In my opinion she doth not belong to any mortal man, for God himself is both owner and master of her. Yet many there are who claim an interest in her, as first the Devil would have her belong to him, for which cause he makes many barbarous nations to adore and Wor-Snip him, and to sacrifice them- selves, their children, and all that they esteem dearest unto them, to his infernal hell-hood, and for his better holding and keeping of this Wor-Snip, he hath his ministers and agents, in the most kingdoms of Christendom, who with their juggling legerdemain, hath gulled, blinded, and besotted many thousands of all estates, ages ; sexes, that they will fall down and Worship stocks, stones, 58 A Navy of Land Ships. blocks, idols, images, relics, dead men*s bones, or a piece of bread, as the heathen idolatrous Egyptians did formerly adore and Worship onions and garlick. And as there are many that for desert are worthy pilots, steersmen and mariners in the Worship, and are shipped into her only for their merits, so there are a great many, and more than a good many, that by falsehood and indirect courses, have shipped themselves in her : for as Cornelius Agrippa saith in his Vanity of Sciences, some have gotten the Worship by cutting throats in the wars ; some by being great men's bawds, or cuckolds in peace ; some for marrying cast stale concubine, or bastards ; some by bribery, extortion or oppression ; some by false weights 'and measures ; some by ex- cessive drunkenness of others ; some by theft, some upon credit ; some for ready money, and some for favour ; which is a word crept into the place of merit since the days of Qtdntiliamis the orator : the most corrupted justice will board her ; the sloth- fulest divine will have a cabin in her ; the carpet knight will be shipped in her : the most cowardly captain will enter her ; and many of least faith and conscience will lay claim to her : she having store of such false owners, I say no more of her, but commit her to the mercy of wind, tide, and time, A Navy of Land Ships. 59 There went with her in her Regiment these that follow. 1 The Abuse, an old ship, too much in use. 2 The Purchase, a vessel all for si mony or ready money. 3 The Mittimus, a dangerous bark, whose word is, At your periL The HuntsmanSni?, or Woodman-Smv, with her Squadron or Regiment, GOOD Huntsman is a good Woodman, and a woodman is a mad man in the north parts of England, for when they think that a man is distracted or frenzy, they will say the man is wood, (meaning mad) the reason why it is called Woodman-Snip, I take it to be thus derived, as first a Ship hath a multiplicity of ropes, cordage, masts, rigging, and ground-tackle which I have partly named before in the Lady-ship,) so hath this Woodman-Snip, divers and sundry terms of art, (almost past numbering) as you must say rouse a buck, start a hare, and unkennel a fox : again you must harbour a hart, and lodge a stag, or a buck ; and in process of time always a hart or a bicck do come to perfection, which many men (through imperfection) do never attain to : as a buck is first a fawn, the second year 2^ pricket, the third a sorel, the fourth a sore, the fifth a btLck of the first A Navy of Land Ships. 6i head, and the sixth year a buck : so a hart is the first year a the second a brocket, the third a spade, the fourth a staggard, the fifth a and the sixth year a but some are of the mind, that a stag cannot be a hart ) until some king or prince have almost hunted his heart out : besides these ambiguous contigigrated phrases, the horns have many dogmatical epjthets, as a hart hath the burrs, the pearls, the antlers, the surantlers, the royals, the surroyals, and the croches, A buck's horns are com- posed of burr, beam^ branch, advancer, palm, and speller. And to decline from the crown or horn, to the rump or crouper : a deer, a boar, a hare, a fox, and a wolf, have no more tail than a jackanapes, for it is a deer's single, a boar's wrath, a hare or coney's i"^^/, a fox's bush, and a wolf's stern ; besides there are most excellent terra-graphical and mundified names and titles ; for that which is in Welsh a baw, in French a marde, I could name it in English, but (Sir Reverence for that) in Wood^nan-ship, it is called a deer's fewmets, a boar or bear's leases, a hare or coney's croteys, a fox or a badger's fiants and an otter's spraints, all which in English, is a, T, &c. I think Nimrod the great hunter would have been a mad man or a wood-man, if he had studied half the wild and hare-brained terms that belongs to this Ship and sure it made Actaeoii horn-mad, in his too vehe- ment pursuit of the game ; for what necromantic 62 A Navy of Land Ships. spells, are rut, vault, slot, pores, and entries, aba- tures, and foiles, frayingstocks, frith and fell, lairs, dewclaws, dowlcets, drawing the covert, blemishes, sewelling, avant-lay, allay, relay, foreloining, hunt- counter, hunt-change, quarry, reward, and a thousand more such Utopian fragments of confused gibberish, that should I proceed further I should instead of an understanding wood-man, shew myself to be an ignorant mad man. Is it not a worthy piece of service for five or six men in the country (whose dwellings are four or five miles asunder, to make a mad match) to meet together on such or such a morning to hunt or course a hare, where, if she be hunted with hounds, she will lead them such dance, that perhaps a horse or two are killed, or a man or two spoiled, or hurt with leaping hedges, or ditches, at the least after four or five days preparation, and some ten pounds charge among men, horses, and dogs, besides an infinite deal of toil and trouble, and an innumerable number of oaths and curses : after this great deal of do, the main purchase can be no more than a poor silly hare, which is but a dry meat, and will take more butter in the basting, than her carcase is worth. Our ancient progenitor or first king of this Island (Brute) was so expert in this Wood-man- Ship, that he killed his own father Silvms, shooting A Navy of Land Ships. 63 him with an arrow, mistaking him for a hart, a stag or a buck : and William the second, surnamed Rufus^ King of England, was by the Hke mischance of a shot made at a deer, (by Sir Walter Tyi^rel Knight) slain with the glance of an arrow against a tree, in the New-forest in Hampshire. I thank Cooper's Dictionary^ that tells me that Venator is a hunter, and Venatrix huntress, or a woman hunting, and that Meretrix is a whore or a woman hunted : all these words having derivation from, or allusion to Venereus, alias Le-che-reits, for though Diana the hunting goddess of chastity be a constant Venatrix, yet Venus the queen of love never fails a right Woodman of a Meretrix. But if Venator and Venatrix should hunt as much as Meretrix is (or hath been) hunted, I think verily that there hath not been (or in time would not be) one deer left in many of the greatest forests, parks, and chases of Christendom. Besides, there is not a perfect mariner in the Woodman-SniP, but he hath engrafted in him a most abundant gift of promising, for one of them will swear and vow to give more deer away to sundry persons, than there are under the keeping ^Cooper's Dictionary. — Thesaurus Linguae Romanae et Britannicae. The foundation of Cooper's Dictionary was taken from Sir Thomas Elyot's Dictionary — Latin and English ; London, 1538 — and the materials, for the most part, from Stephens' Thesaurus, and Frisius' Latin and German Dictionary. — Loivndes. 64 A Navy of Land Ships. and command of six or seven of them : and I have heard, that one white buck in a small park (in a place which I could name within the walls of Christendom) hath been given away at least to a thousand several persons, by one keeper, and the said keeper is so kind, that he will never deny a buck to whosoever will ask. A deer-friend (whom I love dear) did promise me a Deer four years since, and four dear journeys I made for my deer, and still with delays and demurs I was put off from my Deer, with promises, that at such and such a time I should have my deer, but now I am in de- spair of my deer, and I mean to take no more care for my deer ; and so adieu my deer ; but indeed he that had the bounty to promise me this deer, hath the grace to blush whensoever he sees me, and therefore I do love him for his modesty and shame- facedness, and had it not been for that, and that I do love him indeed, I would long before this time have sung him a Kyrie-Eleison,^ that should have made him been glad to have promised me a brace of bucks more, to have stopped my mouth withal, although in performance my deer had been non est invejitus. In a word, of all sorts of deer I hold stolen venison to be the most honestly gotten because the thieves are so quiet, close, private, and silent at their ^Kyrie-Eleison. — " Lord have mercy upon us" — two Latinized Greek words in common use in the responses of the Romish Church. A Navy of Land Ships. 65 work, that they have no leisure to swear or curse, as men do when it is lawfully taken, and my conceit is, that where oaths and curses are most restrain ed there most honesty, and piety remains. But com- monly swearing, execrations, and drinking, are the ceremonious rights of a buck's, or a hare's death and obsequies. With the cry of the hounds, And the echo resounds Through the mead, through the fallow. With the horn, with the hallow. With the horse loud neigh, and the buck at a bay. And with the deer's fall, and the horn-sounding knell, My pen bids hunting Woodman-SniP farewell, The ships and pinnaces that served in the Regiment under the Woodman-SniP, were these. 1 The Chanter. 2 The Bowman. 3 The Ringwood. 4 The Shu. 5 The Beattty. 6 The Daisy. 7 The Killbuck, with divers others, all them being for course, or chase. lACKE A LENT His Beginning and Entertainment : With the mad prankes of his Gentleman- Vsher Shroue- Tuesday that goes before him, and his Footman hunger attending. By lohn Taylor. AT LONDON, Printed by J.B. for James Boler ; at the signe of the Marigold in Paul's Churchyard, 1630, TO THE FISHMONGERS, AND BUTCHERS, GREETING. Friendly, frolic, frank, free-hearted, famous flourishing Fishmongers^ and brave, bold, battering, beef braining Butchers, to both your Companies in general I wish health and happiness : I acknowledge you to be haberdashers for the belly and I wish a plen- tiful increase of good appetites and hungry stomachs, that everyone in their calling may prove valiant of their teeth, whereby you may feed merrily by the profit you receive by nimble-chopped feeders. I have plainly and briefly set down J ack-a-Le^tf s good deeds and his bad, his friends and his foes, the great need and necessity that we have of his coming once a year into this Kingdom, and the great pity that he is no better entertained and observed. And though it be written in a merry style, yet I dare presume that mirth and truth walk together in it. In a word, read it if you Hke, and judge as you list, please yourselves and I am pleased : and let I.S. hold Jack-a-Lenfs stirrup whilst he alights, for of all men I have most reason to prefer him for a trick he showed me lately. So I rest yours ever, and his as far as he dares swear for twelve-pence. JOHN TAYLOR. JACK A LENT: HIS BEGINNING AND ENTERTAINMENT. F Jack-ait- Apes I list not to indite, Nor of Jack Daw my goose's quill shall write ; Of Jack of Newbury I will not repeat, Nor Jack of both sides, nor of Skip- Jack neat. To praise the turnspit Jack my Muse is mum, Nor of the entertainment of Jack Drum ril not rehearse : nor of fack Dog, Jack Date^ Jack fool, or Jack-a-Dandy, I relate : Nor of black Jacks'" at gentle buttery bars. Whose liquor oftentimes breeds household wars : Nor Jack of Dover that grand jury Jack, Nor Jack Sauce (the worst knave amongst the pack.) But of the Jack of Jacks, great Jack a Lent, To write his worthy acts is my intent ; ^Black Jack. — A large leather can, formerly in great use for beer. 4 Jack a Lent. How he's attended with a mess of Jacks, Whose fame my heartless weak invention cracks, Jack Herring and Jack Sprat, Jack Straw, Jack Cade, These are the Jacks with which my pen must trade. |0 speak of the original of this Jack, or from whence the name of Jack hath de- rivation, I think it not impertinent to show you : therefore I would have all men under- stand that Jack is no Christian, nor was ever baptised, but is sprung (like a mushroom) out of the corruption of the name of John ; for before Johns were, I did never find mention of any Jacks, except black Jacks: and there was an old courteous epithet attributed to Johri (as gentle John ) but now so many Jacks are made gentles, that most Johns and Jacks make no further account of gentility than glorious titles and gaudy suits : so much for Jack. Now for the name and beginning of Lent (as near as I can I will describe) the word Lent doth signify, a thing borrowed : for except a thing be borrowed, how is it lent ? and being lent, it follows by consequence that it was borrowed ; but from whom it was so free of the loan of this Lent, that would be known. First then you must conceive, that the true etymology, or ancient name of this Lent, is Lean- Jack a Lent. 5 tide, which being anagrammatized ( Landit) for the chief provision that he is furnished withal being fish, and such sea-faring fare, that except he land it, there will be but cold takings in the fish markets : for Jack-a-Lent hath no society, affinity or pro- pinquity with flesh and blood, and by reason of his leanness (as Nymshag an ancient Utopian philoso- pher declares in his treatise of the antiquity of ginger-bread. Lib. 7, Pag. 30000.) he should have been a footman to a prince of that empire named Lurgitash Haddernot ; but Lent showed him the trick of a right footman, and ran away from him faster than an Irish lackey, and from that time to this was never seen in Utopia. Besides, he hath the art of legerdemain beyond all the jugglers in Egypt or Europe, for with a trick that he hath, he is in England, Scotland, France, Ireland, and the most part of the christian world at one and the self-same time, yet for all this nimbleness and quick agility, he was never seen to sweat, which is no marvel, because he hath not any fat or pinquidity in his incorporeal corpse. He hath a wife named Fasting, as lean as himself, yet sure I think she is as honest as barren : but it were very dangerous for an epicure or a puritan to have a bastard by her, for there were no other hope, but that the father of the brat (if it should prove male) would tutor it in all disobedience against both Lent and Fasting: for 6 Jack a Lent. although Lent and abstinence be but forty days endurance, yet to these vahant men of their teeth it seems forty years, for they put the letter (e) into the word Fast, and turn it into Feast. And though a man eat fish till his guts crack, yet if he eat no flesh he fasts, because he eats as fast as he can. For the word fast is to be taken in many senses, as to fast from feeding, and to feed fast, to be bound to fast, and to be bound fast. The fast from feeding is divers ways per- formed. 1 Some there are that fast for pure devotion, with a zealous abstinence from any kind of cor- poral food for a space, because they will bring down and curb their unbridled affections, and tame their fleshly desires, that so the exercise of spiritual con- templation may be the more fervent, their re- pentance more unfeigned, and their prayers more acceptable. 2 Another fast is hypocritical or sophistical, as a holy maid that enjoined herself to abstain four days from any meat whatsoever, and being locked up close in a room, she had nothing but her two books to feed upon, but the books were two painted boxes, made in the form of great bibles with clasps and bosses, the inside not having one word of God in them, nor any fault escaped in the printing, but the one well filled with suckets, and sweet meats, Jack a Lent. 7 and the other with wine, upon which this devout votary did fast with zealous meditation, eating up the contents of one book, and drinking contentedly the other. Then there is a fast called in spite of your teeth, and that is. Will ye nill ye, when a man's stomach is in folio^ and knows not where to have a dinner in decimo sexto. This fast I have often met withal at the court, and at diver's great men's houses, not because there hath wanted meat, but because some have wanted manners, and I have wanted impudence. But Jack-a-Lenf s Fast is otherwise than all these, for I am as willing to fast with him as to feast with Shrovetide : for he hath an arm}^ of various dishes, an host of divers fishes, with salads, sauces, sweatmeats, wine, ale, beer, fruit, roots, raisins, almonds, spices, with which I have often (and care not much to do more often) made as good a shift to fast, and with as good a zeal performed it, as a Brownist^ will go to plough upon a Christmas day. Thus having showed the original of this yac^, it follows next, that I declare his yearly entertain- ment into this Isle of Gr Q3it Brztam, what privileges ^Brownists. — A sect founded by Robert Brown, of Rutlandshire, temjp, Elizabeth, and violently opposed to the Church of England, t^) ^fi:)';];! ' ■' I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician." '.OCl Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, act iii. sc. 2. 8 Jack a Lent. he hath, to whom he is best welcome, who are glad of his departure, what friends or foes he hath, and where he inhabiteth all the year after his going from hence. Always before Lent there comes waddling a fat gross bursten-gutted groom, called Shrove- Tuesday, one whose manners shows, that he is better fed than taught : and indeed he is the only monster for feeding amongst all the days of the year, for he devours more flesh in fourteen hours, than this whole kingdom doth (or at the least should do) in six weeks after : such boiling and broiling, such roasting and toasting, such stewing and brewing, such baking, frying, mincing, cutting, carving, devouring, and gorbellied gormondizing, that a man would think people did take in two months' provisions at once into their paunches, or that they did ballast their bellies with meat for a voyage to Constantinople or to the West Indies. Moreover, it is a goodly sight to see how the cooks in great men's kitchens, do fry in their master's suet, and sweat in her own grease, that if ever a cook be worth the eating it is when Shrove- Tuesday is in town, for he is so stewed and larded, roasted, basted, and almost over-roasted, that a man may eat the rawest bit of him and never take a surfeit. In a word, they are that day extreme choleric, and too hot for any man to meddle with being monarchs of Jack a Lent. 9 the marrow-bones, marquesses of the mutton, lords high regents of the spit and the kettle, barons of the gridiron, and sole commanders of the frying- pan, and all this hurly-burly, is for no other purpose but to stop the mouth of this land- wheel Shrove- Tuesday. At whose entrance in the morning all the whole kingdom is in quiet, but by that time the clock strikes eleven, which (by the help of a knavish sexton) is commonly before nine, then there is a bell rung, called the pancake bell, the sound whereof makes thousands of people distracted, and forgetful either of manner or humanity : Then there is a thing called wheaten flour, which the sulphery necromatic cooks do mingle with water, eggs, spice, and other tragical magical enchantments, and then they put it by little and little into a frying-pan of boiling suet, where it makes a confused dismal hissing like the Lernean snakes in the reeds of Acheron, Styx or Phlegethon) until at last by the skill of the cook, it is transformed into the form of a flap-jack, which in our translation is called a pancake, which ominous incantation the ignorant people do devour very greedily (having for the most part well dined before :) but they have no sooner swallowed that sweet candied bait, but straight their wits for- sake them, and they run stark mad, assembling in routs and throngs numberless of ungoverned numbers, with uncivil civil commotions. F lO Jack a Lent. Then Tim Tatters^ (a most valiant villain) with an ensign made of a piece of a baker's mawkin^ fixed upon a broom staff, he displays his dreadful colours, and calling the ragged regiment together, makes an illiterate oration, stuffed with most plenti- ful want of discretion ; the conclusion whereof is, that somewhat they will do, but what they know not. Until at last comes marching up another troop of tatterdemalions, proclaiming * wars against no matter who, so they may be doing. Then these youths armed with cudgels, stones, hammers, rules, trowels, and hand-saws, put play houses to the sack, and bawdy houses to the spoil, in the quarrel breaking a thousand quarrels (of glass I mean) making ambitious brickbats break their necks, tumbling from the tops of lofty chimneys, terribly untiling houses, ripping up the bowels of feather- beds, to the enriching of upholsterers, the profit of plasterers, and dirt daubers, the gain of glaziers, joiners, carpenters, tilers, and bricklayers. And which is worse, to the contempt of justice : for what avails it for a constable with an army of reverend rusty bill-men to command peace to these beasts, for they with their pockets instead of pistols, well charged with stone-shot, discharge against the image of authority, w^hole volleys as thick as hail, ^A Baker's Mawkin. — A cloth usually wetted and attached to a pole to sweep clean the oven, Jack a Lent. which robustious repulse puts the better sort to the worser part, making the band of unscoured halberdiers retire faster than ever they came on, and show exceeding discretion in proving tall men of their heels. Thus by the unmannerly manners of Shrove- Tuesday constables are baffled, bawds are banged, punks are pillaged, panders are plagued, and the chief commanders of these valorous villiacoes, for their reward for all this confusion, do in conclusion purchase the inheritance of a jail, to the commodity of jailors, and discommodity to themselves, with a fearful expectation that Tyburn shall stop their throats, and the hangman take possession of their coats, or that some beedle in bloody characters shall imprint their faults on their shoulders.^ So much for Shrove- Tuesday, yack-a- Lenfs gentleman usher, these have been his humours in former times, but I have some better hope of reformation in him hereafter, and indeed I wrote this before his coming this year 1617,^ not knowing how he would behave himself, but tottering betwixt despair and hope, I leave him. ^Imprint their Faults on their Shoulders.— i.e., by publicly whipping them. '^The Year 1617. — By this it would seem that our author had written "Jack-a-Lent," at or about this date. But Lowndes does not mention any other version or edition than that in Taylor's Collected Works, 1630, from which we have taken our " Readable Reprint," adopting the imprint found on the title-page of that edition. 12 Jack a Lent. Shrove- Tuesday having played these parts aforesaid, doth Exit, and next day Lent begins to enter, who is entertained by a grave, formal, reverend statesman, called civil policy : but you must understand that Lent would very feign take up his lodging here with religion, but religion will not be acquainted with him, and therefore civil policy hath the managing of the business. But it is a wonder to see what munition and artillery the epicures, and cannibal flesh eaters do provide to oppose Lenty and keep him out at the staff's end, as whole barrels of powdered beef blow him up, tubs of pork to pistol and shoot him through with his kindred hunger, famine, and desolation, barri- cadoes of bacon, as strong and impregnable bulwarks against invasive battery. Which civil policy perceiving, causeth proclamations straight to be published for the establishing of Lenfs govern- ment, but then to see how the butchers (like silenced schismatics) are dispersed, some riding into the country to buy oxen, kine, calves, sheep and lambs, leaving their wives, men and maids, to make provision of pricks^ for the whole year in their absence : some again of the inferior sort do scout into stables, privies, cellars. Sir Frmicis Drakes ship at Deptford, my Lord Mayors barge, and divers secret and unsuspected places, and there they ^PRiCKf;, — Skewers, Jack a Lent. 13 make private shambles with kill-calf cruelty, and sheep slaughtering murder, to the abuse of Lent, the deceiving of the informers, and the great grief of every zealous fishmonger. For indeed Lent in his own nature is no blood- sucker, nor cannot endure any blood-shed ; and it is his intent, that the bull, the ox, the ram, the goat, the buck, or any other beast, should be free to live in any corporation without molestation : it is Lenfs intent, that the innocent lamb, and Essex calf, should survive to wear the crest of their ancestors : that the goose, the buzzard, the widgeon, and the woodcock, may walk fearless in any market town, cheek by jole with a headborough, or a tithingman. The cut-throats butchers, wanting throats to cut, At Lent's approach their bloody shambles shut : For forty days their tyranny doth cease. And men and beasts take truce and live in peace ; The cow, the sow, the ewe may safely feed. And low, grunt, bleat, and fructify and breed, Cocks, hens, and capons, turkey, goose, and widgeon. Hares, conies, pheasant, partridge, plover, pigeon, All these are from the break-neck poulterer's paws Secured by Lent, and guarded by the laws, The goring spits are hanged for fleshly sticking, And then cook's fingers are not worth the licking. Jack a Lent. But to recount the numberless army that Lent doth conduct, the great munition and artillery that he hath to withstand those that gainstand him, his weapons of offence and defence, and variety of hostile accoutrements that his host is armed withal : if I should write all these things, my memory must be boundless, because my work would be endless. First, marches Sir Laurence Ling, with his Regi- ment, an ancient sea-faring gentleman : next follows Colonel Cod, oftentimes bleeding fresh in the battle : then comes captain Stock-fish, a well beaten soldier, and one that is often proved to endure much ; Sir Salmon Salt, in a pitiful pickle valiantly abides the conflict, and Gilbert Gubbins" all to tatters like a ragged soldier many times pieces out a broken supper. The majestical king of fishes, heroical most magnificent Herring, armed with white and red, keeps his court in all this hurly-burly, not like a tyrannical tear-throat in open arms, but like wise Diogenes in a barrel, where if any of his Regiments either do or take injury, though he want the sword of justice, yet he hath the scales, which I imagine he carries not for nought. The great Lord Treasurer to this mighty prince (old Oliver Cob) is very inward with him, and knows more of his secrets than all his privy council besides : and when his hard-roed master means to shew himself in his red bloody ^GuBBiN. — The parings of haberdine. Also any kind of fragments. Jack a Lent. 15 colours, then in fury he associates himself with two notorious rebels, Jack Straw, and Jack Cade} who do encompass him round, and beleager him on each side, guarding his person from the fury of wind and weather. The wet fishmongers all this while (like so many executioners) unkennel the salt eels from their briny ambuscadoes, and with marshal law hang them up : the stock-fish having tried a terrible action of battery is condemned to be drowned, the Ling^ Haberdme, Greeii-fish} and Coal-fish} are drawn and quartered into poles, backs, and tails, and (like rebels in Ireland) hanged with a withe:* nay the king of fishes himself cannot escape, but is tyran- nically broiled upon a gridiron. Then comes Jack- Sauce with a spoon creeping out of a mustard pot, armed in a pewter saucer, a desperate fellow, and one that dares take Davy Ap Diggon, or Shen Ap Morgan, by the nose, and many times (with the spirit of Tewkesbury) he will make a man weep being most merry, and take the matter in snuff being well pleased. The whiting, rochet,^ gournet, and the mop,^ The skate and thornback, in the net doth drop : The pied-coat mackerel, pilchard, sprat and sole, To serve great Jack-a-Lent amain do troll. ^Cade. — A barrel or cask. A mt^e of herrings, 500. "Greenfish, the cod, ^Coal-fish.— A species of cod ; gadus carhonarius, thus named from the colour of its back. *WiTHE, — A willow twig. °x\OCHET. — Roachi ^Mop. — A young whiting. t6 Jack a Lent. In the rearward comes Captain Crab, Lieutenant Lobster, (whose catching claws always puts me in mind of a sergeant) the blushing prawn, the well-armed oyster, the escalop, the welk, the mussle, cockle, and periwinkle, these are hot shots, venereal provocators, fishy in substance, and fleshly in operation. The poor anchovy is pitifully peppered in the fight, whilst the sturgeon is kegged, randed, and joled about the ears, and in conclusion, without dissembling eaten with fennel the emblem of flattery : but the anchovy is oftentimes revenged upon his eaters, for being devoured raw, he broils in their stomachs so hotly, that before the heat be quenched the eaters are drenched in the blood of BacchiLs, sack and claret, that though a man be as Avise as a constable at his entrance, his wit some- times is so shrunk in the wetting, that he may want the understanding of an ass. Then there are a crew of near bred freshwater soldiers, our Thamesisians, our comrades of Barking our eastern, and western river-rovers, these youths are brought and caught by whole shoals, for indeed they are no fighters, but mere white-livered, heartless runaways, like the Turk's asapye ( sic ), that if the fish- ermen (like diligent catchpoles) did not watch narrowly to catch them by hook and by crook, by line and leasure, Le7it might gape for gudgeons, roach, and dace, where it not for these netmongers, it is no flat Jack a Lent. 17 lie to say, the flounder might lie flat in his watery cabin, and the eel (whose slippery tail put me in mind of a formal courtier's promise) would wriggle up and down in his muddy habitation, which would be a great discommodity for school boys, through the want of scourges to whip gigs^ and town tops. The bream, the lamprey, barbel, but, and pike, Secure might keep the river, pond, and dike : Carps, tench, perch, smelts, would never come to land. But for nets, angles, and the fisher's hand : And bawling queans that use to sell and buy. Would cry, because they want wherewith to cry. To speak of the honesty of fishermen, and the account that we ought to make of their calling, it was the faculty of Simon, Andrew, James and John, the blessed apostles, and by a common rule, all fishermen must be men singularly endued, and possessed with the virtue of patience, for the pro- verb, says. If you swear you shall catch no fish, and I myself hath been an eye-witness, when seven or eight anglers have employed their best art and industry two hours, and in the end they have not been able to share one gudgeon or a bleak amongst them all, the cause hath been, either there was no ^GlGS. —/.(?., whirligigs, set in motion by means of a whip made of eel skins. i8 Jack a Lent. fish to be caught, or else one impatient fellow of the company had sworn away good luck. I could run ten kingdoms (or reams) of paper out of breath, in the praise of this lean Jack, and his spawns (Ember weeks, Fridays, and fasting days) but I suppose there are none more sorrowful in the time of his being here than gentlemen and gentlewomen, for through the royal court, the inns of courts, the city and country, all the better sort wear mourning black as long as Lent is in town : but so soon as he is gone, then they change colours, and feast, banquet, revel, and make merry, as if the land were freed from some notorious termagant monster, some murdering plague, or some devouring famine. The bakers metamorphose their trade from one shape to another, his round, half-penny loaves are transformed into square wigs,^ (which wigs like drunkards are drowned in their ale) the rolls are turned to simnels,^ in the shape of bread-pies, and the light puffed-up four-cornered bun, doth show that the knavery of the baker is universal, in Asia, Europe, Africa, and America: for since colliers and scriveners have purchased the possession of the pillory from them, their light bread brings in heavy gains, where if by chance a batch or a basket full being examined by the scales of justice, and the bread committed to Newgate for want of weight, ^WiG. — A small cake. "Simnel. — A sweet cake. Jack a Lent. 19 and the baker to the Counter for lack of conscience, yet he knows he shall out again, and with a trick that he hath, in one week he will recover the con- sumption of his purse again, by his moderate light handling of the medicine of meal, yeast and water. But now suppose that Palm-Sunday is past, and that you see Le^it, and both the fish-streets^ sing loth to depart, whilst every fishmonger wrings his hands and by the reason of cold takings, beats himself into a heat, whilst (to their great grief) whole herds of oxen, and flocks of sheep, are driven into every town for no other purpose, but to drive Lent out of the country. Then pell-mell murder, in a purple hue, In reeking blood his slaughtering paws imbrue : The butcher s axe (like great Alcides bat) Dings deadly down, ten thousand thousand flat : Each butcher (by himself) makes marshal laws. Cuts throats, and kills, and quarters, hangs, and draws. It is a thing worthy to be noted, to see how all the dogs in the town do wag their tails for joy, when they see such provision to drive away Lent, (for a dog, a butcher, and a puritan, are the greatest enemies he hath) but there is one day in the year that dogs in general are most afraid, and that is the Friday after Easter, for they having past six weeks ^BoTH THE Fish Streets. — i.e.. Old Fish Street and New Fish Street. 20 Jack a Lent. without seeing any flesh, and endured a hard siege by Lent and fish bones, then at Easter they see flesh on the Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and when the Friday comes, they see great store of fish again, the poor curs (aU in a pitiful quandary) stink for woe, for fear that another Lent is come suddenly upon them, thus they continue in that dogged perplexity till the Sunday following, when the appearance of flesh makes them have a feeling, that they were more afraid than hurt. But imagine Lent is gone, but who knows whither he is gone ? that would be known : for it cannot be but that so mighty a monarch as he, hath his inroads and his out loops, his standing court of continual residence, as well as his tents, houses, and places of removal for pleasure and progress. For he comes to us by way of annual visitation : to the Capuchin friars he comes twice every year, for they keep two Lents because they will be sure to fast double, for when a thing is well done ('tis an old saying) it is twice done, and by consequence a thing being twice done, must be well done : I know not why they do it, but some say, that it is a work of supererogation, and so I leave them. But Lent keeps his continual court with the holy covents of the unsanctified fathers, the friars Carthusians, these are they that have made a per- petual divorce between beasts and birds, these are Jack a Lent. 21 they that have confirmed an everlasting league with Lent, and all the ragged aquarian regiments of the spacious kingdom of Pisces. For when they enter into their order first, they are enjoined never to touch or taste any manner of flesh whatsoever, which they do inviolably perform : for let hunger and thin-gutted famine assault them never so cruelly, so that there were no fish to be had, yet they hold it meritorious to starve and famish, rather than to eat flesh. For indeed in cases of necessity they have power to metamorphose flesh into fish : (as for example) when any town is besieged and sharply assailed with war without, and famine within, that meat is fallen into such a consumption, that fish is gone, and flesh is scarce, then these venerable fathers (by apostatical power which they have) can take a sirloin of beef, and thrust his knighthood into a tub of water, and command him to come forth transformed into a ling, and so for all kind of flesh else, they can turn a pig to a pike, a goose to a gurnet, a hen to a herring, a sow to a salmon, and an owl to an oyster : and all these are no wonders to them, for they are all as nothing to their exor- cising trick of transubstantiation in the sacrament : for it is not possible for anything to be impossible to them that can make their Maker, and conjure their Saviour into a piece of bread, and eat him when they have done. With these enemies of car- 22 Jack a Lent. nality Lent hath domestical perpetuity, these observe his laws more firmly, than they do either the first or second table, and twenty citizens shall break politically, and take up their lodging in Lud's un- lucky gate^ before they will crack the least injunc- tion that is articulated betwixt Lent and them. Thus having shewed the progress, egress and regress of this Mediterranean, Atlantic, Belgic, Gallobelgicus, this Caspian, Hibernian, British, Celtic, Caledonian, commanding Marine countermander, I think it not amiss to declare what good he doth in this kingdom the time of his being here, and how much more good he would do if he were rightly observed. As it is a matter of conscience to obey superior and supreme magistrates, so in that respect I hold it a conscience to abstain from flesh-eating in Lent : not that I think it to be unclean to the clean, or that the eating or not eating, is meritorious : for I am persuaded that a man may go to heaven as well with a leg of a capon, as with a red herring. But seeing Lent is ordained to a good intent, for the increase and preservation of calves, lambs, swine and all kind of beasts, and birds whatsoever, whereby the breeding and multiplicity of these creatures makes our land the terrestrial paradise of plenty, and so is (by the bountiful blessings of the ^Lud's Unlucky Gate. — A city prison. — The Gateliouse, Jack a Lent. 23 Almighty all-giving giver) able to maintain herself, and relieve many neighbouring realms, and regions. Surely they are no good commonwealthsmen, that wilfully will break so tolerable an institution, as to refrain six or seven weeks in a year from flesh, having so much variety and change of fish and other sustenance more than sufficient. It is most certain, that if Lent were truly kept, and the fish days in every week duly observed, and that every house in this kingdom did spend but the quantity of two haberdine or green fish in a week, that then this kingdom of Great Britain both for meat and mariners would be the mistress of the world, and for wealth and riches superlative to the Mines of America. But the nature of man is so perverse, that like PandorcBS box, he will be tooting and prying soonest into that which he is most restrained from, wherein he shows himself to be no changling, but the natural son of Adam, and heir to his frailty and dis- obedienc : for in common reason (for a common good) if there were no statutes, no precepts or com- mands for the keeping of Lent and fish days, men would of themselves, (and by their own instiga- tion) bridle their fleshly appetites with the snaffle of discretion. It is an unmeasurable detriment to this kingdom, the abuse, neglect, and contempt of this so laudable and commodious an institution, and the 24 Jack a Lent. due observing of it duly would be invaluable, I think past the reach of arithmetic : but I have often noted, that if any superfluous feasting or gor- mondizing, paunch-cramming assembly do meet, the disordered business is so ordered, that it must be either in Lent, upon a Friday, or a fasting day : for the meat doth not relish well, except it be sauced with disobedience and contempt of authority. And though they eat sprats on the Sunday, they care not, so they may be full gorged with flesh on the Friday night, Then all the zealous puritans will feast In detestation of the Romish beast. For mine own part (as I have before written I hold fish or flesh no maxims, axioms, or grounds of religion, but those that wilfully and contemptuously do eat flesh in the Lent (except such whose appetites are repugnant to fish, and whose nature hath not been used to it, except such as are sick, and women with child, (for all which there is a lawful toleration) except such, I say, he that feasts with flesh in Le7it I wish he might be constrained to fast with fish all the year after for his contempt. Wide and large is the way that I might travel ' in this spacious business : but few words are best, especially if they be spoken to the wise, and if any poor y ack-a-Lent do happen into the hands of a Jack a Lent. ^5 fool, 'tis but a fool and a Jack, or two fools well met but here is the odds, a wise man will make much of a Jack for his plain dealing, when a fool will quarrel with him, and falling together by the ears, tear one another's clothes, and then Jacks paper jerkin goes to wrack. CERTAIN BLANK VERSES WRITTEN of purpose to no purpose, yet so plainly contrived, that a child of two years old may understand them as well as a good Scholar of fifty. RE AT J ack-a-Lent, clad in a robe of air, Threw mountains higher than Alcides beard : Whilst Pancradge'" Church, armed with a samphire blade, Began to reason of the business thus : You squand'ring Troglodytes of Amsterdam, How long shall Cerderii:s tapster be ? What though stout Ajax lay with Proserpine, * St. Pancras. 26 Jack a Lent. Shall men leave eating powdered beef for that ? I see no cause but men may pick their teeth, Though Brutus with a sword did kill himself. Is Shooters-hill turned to an oyster pie, Or may a May-pole be a buttered plaice ? Then let Saint Katherines sail to Bride-well Court, And chitterlings be worn for statute lace, For if a humble-bee should kill a whale With the butt-end of the Antarctic pole, 'Tis nothing to the mark at which we aim : For in the commentaries of Tower ditch, A fat stewed bawd hath been a dish of state. More might be said, but then more must be spoke. The weights fell down because the Jack rope broke. And he that of these lines doth make a doubt. Let him sit down and pick the meaning out. FINIS. The Trve Cayse of the WA TUB- Mens Suit concerning Players, and the reasons that their Playing on London side is their extreame hindrances. With a Relation how farre that suit was proceeded in, and the occasions that it was not By lohn Taylor. •••'■..■••./Cocytus, and tJi infernal streams Earl of Errors, a7id chief Dominator Of all shts done, by earth air, land, or water, Viscount, and Baron of large Barathrum, Since I have lived to come so near your Bum Part of this Summer's Travels. 35 As is yottr wicked worships Arse a Peake, ThotLgh some men think my Mttse is all too weak ; I with my pen do mean to yerk and ferk ye. And (as I promisd) with three jerks will jerk ye, I know that many fools will jeer a^id frimp^ That I dtirst come so near the Devil's rump^ And lash with my poor pen satyrical, This great Don Diego Diabolical : But I would have him and his frie^tds to know^ I jeer him not, for all his bug-bare show : ' Tis known that he, and all that him attend^ To any Poet never was a friend : And therefore now I daring him oppose, And jerk his hellish Majesty in Prose. LTHOUGH you (great master of the hot-house) Don set de Lticifer, have on the earth in all places and countries many multitudes of damnable sons, friends, and servants, to oppose me and take your part, yet I being come so near your Podex, must jerk your breech with my satyre pendragonly goose quill, you know that reproof is as ill taken as correction by the ungracious. Therefore although you are so bad that you are quite past any mending, yet your graceless Majesty may be lawfully touch'd by reprehending ; you have been a cheater ever since 36 Part of this Summer's Travels. the Creation, and in that art of Cozening, you first cheated your self of everlasting happiness, and gained thereby perpetual perdition, and ever since you have play'd Hocus Poms, and with your tricks. Sleights, and juggling Legerdemain, done your best to draw all the whole race of mankind after you into your kingdom of Cimerian Teneh'-osity ; you taught our first Parents Infidelity, Pride, Disobedience and Lying, which qualities of theirs are so naturally descended to us, that (by your industrious instiga- tion) we do continually shew (by our lives and conversations) of what house we came. By their example of believing too much in you, we are grown incredulous in things which most concerns our better and best of being, and we are so inur d and practised in lying, (by your inspiration being the father of lies) that we are doubtful to believe one another. And yet (like the Cretans) with long use and custom, we do many times believe our own lies to be true. May it please your infernal Hell-hood to take into your execrable consideration, that you were the first inventor of the most ignoble Science of Offence, you taught Cain the Imbrocado, and showed him how to murder his Brother, and from that time to this, the Art of Murdering, Killing and Cutting Throats hath been universally and perfectly learned and practised. You have been the inventer of all manner of destroying weapons, from the high degree Part of this Summers Travels. 37 of the Welsh-hook, to the lower descent of the Tailors Bodkin ; and in these later times you (with the help of a Friar) have devised a burning, smoul- dering, most Hellish and undefencible mischief that murders men by heaps, (and with a powder) can blow whole Kingdoms into the Firmament ; and for the innumerable Engines that are daily used and cast for such uses, your most high and Imperial maledic- tion have declared yourself an excellent Artist, from the double Cannon to the ^/<^^r Gun-mines, Counter- mines, Petards, Granadoes, Fire-works, Wild-fire, and the Devil and all do continually seek and work the destruction of miserable mankind. You are a great traveller, and will take the pains to compass the whole earth to find just man, on purpose to do him mischief, but for a crew of common Drunkards, Rascals, Bawds and Whores, you know you need not wet your foot to seek them, they are your own already, and by your good will, you would fill Hell so full, that Heaven should have but a few. And so let that pass for one and the first Jerk. ECONDLY, you know that there is but one narrow way to happiness, and many ways to your Zona Torrida, Fri^zda, (for all those large ways do meet in one at the last, 38 Part of this Summer's Travels. and bring poor souls into your pestiferous purse net) some go by the way of Sodom, to find out your most damnable Mansion, some by the way of Incest, some by Adtdtery, some by Fornication (for they say you are the Master of the Honourable and Worshipful Company, and Brother-hood of the Foi^nicators ) in which regard you are a great friend to Parators and Panders. You shew'd Cham the way how to deride his father, by which example a company of Ghammists, have ever since practised not only to mock, scoff, and abuse their natural parents, but also to contemn, rail and revile against Kings and Princes, who are the Royal Fathers of Terrestrial Govern- ment, and further to despise, slight, and libel against the most Reverend Fathers, the Stewards and painful Dispensers of the spiritual food of Eternity; you directed Corah and his Complices the high road- way to murmer ; Ahithophel to give wicked counsel, and Absalom to rebel and usurp ; you shewed Joab the way to treachery, Achan to steal. Jobs wife to abuse her husband, from whom the most part of women (like apt scholars) are very expert in that kind of miserable mystery. You put Gehazi into the high-way of taking a bribe, and it is too well known what a wicked number of followers he hath had of all degrees, from the Sceptre to the swain, from the black gown to the buckrum bag* You directed Nabal (who Anagrammatized Part of this Summer's Travels. 39 or read backward is Labati) to be as churlish as a hog, from whom miserable Dives hath perfectly learned the way to true misery, you taught Nimrod the way to tyrranize and enclose and encroach upon Land and Territories, which hath been the bounding, mounding, and curtailing of Commons. The raising of ambition, Pride, Voluptuousness, and such earthly virtues of accursed greatness, and to the Almighty making of Beggars. You tie fast the rich mans purse, and let loose the poor mans curse, you in- structed Pharaoh^ Senacherib, and Rabshakeh in the way of blasphemy, and from those Hellish presidents, their wickedness is daily impiously imitated, Shi- mei was one of your Anathema profound scholars, and from you he learned to curse the Lord's Anointed extempore : once (as I have read) you were so addicted to peace and unity that you made Herod and Pilate friends, who were hate- ful enemies, but afterwards your Hypocrisy was found, that it was your plot to destroy innocence ; you made Demas to forsake the truth, and embrace the world (your wicked sister :) you have never been unprovided of a kennel of Whores, Queans, and Concubines, to tempt and draw the wisest men to folly, and for him that is most strong (in his own opinion) you have always one darling sin or other to fit his disposition, constitution, 40 Part of this Summer's Travels. inclination, or humour, that Hke a Daliah shall weaken him, or quite overthrow him. And this shall suffice for the second Jerk. HIRDLY and lastly, you know that your end draws nigh, and therefore now you rave, rage, and are more mad than ever you were, you know that after Doomsday, that you shall have no more power over Mortals, then you shall be for ever chained in your den like a dog in a kennel ; and therefore now you with all double diligence, do endeavour to do your best to do your worst, and as much as in you lieth, you draw us from bad to worse, and from worse to worse. The Hypocrite (by your enticement) doth vizard all his villany, with the mask or veil of virtue ; he follows the steps of Ananias and Saphira to a hair, he with his sour look shrouds a lofty mind. You have scattered pride into as many shapes as Proteus, so that a proud fashion hunter (if either money or credit will furnish him) will transform himself into as many forms as you can do ; our roarers (who by your pestiferous favour are styled the damn'd crew) are so given to most unhallowed meditations, that they lie a bed almost till dinner time, to study new oaths, to vent at this Ordinary, at bowls, cock-fight- Part of this Summer's Travels. 41 ing, horse-race, whore-house, or any other place of gentleman-like or noble exercise, and as you have taught them to swear without fear, so they do often forswear without shame : although sometimes they hazard their ears, as they do their souls. You set bad projectors (and unprofitable) a work, as thick as crab-lice or caterpillers, and it is no doubt but you will deal so justly with them, that you will pay them their wages, and after you have set them agog (with a vengence) to do injury with a mischief. You are so skilful in Physic, that you have made too many believe, that the loss of a Maiden-head is an approved and speedy medicine for the green sick- ness. Poets, Painters (and some* few Courtiers) you have so well taught that they can flatter most artifically with pen, picture, and by word of mouth. It is long of you that what ever the choplin and the chaplain hath, yet the thin-cheek'd chiplin hath nothing at all. I know a poor Curate that comes and goes a mile every Sunday, be it winter or summer, all manner of weathers, sometimes wet to the skin, and preaches once a week (on Sundays) for bare five pound a year, the Tithe being valued at sixty pound per anmtm, so that the miserable stipend or hireling wages, will hardly buy wood to make a fire for him when he comes home to dry him ; when he is through wet. This is your work ( Monsieur Diabola ) for it is your inspiration to put ■ 42 Part of this Summer's Travels. such wrangling spirits into Impropriators, that for the not paying off a tenth pudding or a tithe egg the Law must take his course. You have brought the Schismatical Separatist to be as unconformable as your self, for (like you) they cannot bide the Cross or the sign of it (if it be not upon money) and you have made them as unmannerly as your self, for they will not move a hat, or bow a knee at the name of our Saviour, and they are wax'd as slovenly as you can make them, for they hate clean linen, and all order, neatness and decency in the church ; And you have long practised a politic slight, which is, that when a Reverend Pastor is painfully, and carefully preaching to his audience, instructing them how to avoid your snares and traps ; then you are so 3.ngry and impatient when you are told of your faults, and hear your damnable devices laid open, that you could afford to pull the preacher out of the pulpit by the ears, or to tear him in pieces, but that he is so happy that you have no power over him : 3^our inveterate malice being limited, curb'd, and snaffled by an unresistable High and Omnipotent power, and he very well understands and knows in whose service he is, and whose embassage he delivers, and therefore is so valiant that he neither fears or cares a rush for you ; which your imperial malevolence perceiving, you have another trick for him, which is to lull the people asleep, (of which Part of this Summer's Travels. 43 number many times the best of the Parish are some) by which means you do debar them of what they should hear, and in the mean time, the Preacher speaks to the bare walls. And I am persuaded that ^ is against your will, that there is any good Preacher living, and seeing they do live (in despite of you) and that by their care and industry they do now and then violently pluck a soul from you, in revenge thereof you chiefly seek their confusion, either by war, slander, or starving them through want of means. Yet this much may be spoken as one of your good parts, which is, that you were never known to be drunk, and though you never walk uprightly, yet you never stumbled, you were never so fox'd but you knew the way home (and the truth is, you are so bold, that you would make every place your home ) the Court, the City, the Country, the Palace, the Castle, the Cottage, and the Church and all, you are so audacious either to enter them by force, or else to insinuate and sneak into them by craft and subtilty. And though you are no drunkard, yet you do love the whole Rabble of them so well, that you are unwilling to lose one of them all, but my hope is better. For if they leave it, and mend their manners as they should do, the Devil the one of them you are like to have. You have the art to make great Scholar to learn Retrograde, for if a man be never so good a Grammarian, and hath Gree^ 44 Part of this Summer's Travels. and Latin as perfect as Homer or Virgil, yet (if he be married) you do too often teach his wife the way to read him backward, Hke an Hebrician, and though he be never so well skill'd in learned Volumes, and the Seven liberal arts, yet she puts him again into his Horn-book. You have so much Devotion in you, that you do assist those Brethren that do pray zealously, that they may be disobedient with a safe Conscience, and you make them so stout and valiant that some of them are more able to do more service in a white sheet then the honestest man in the whole shire can do. You know that the Projector would be an honest man if he did not keep company with himself, therefore you might do somewhat to be talked of, if you would separate him. It is a scurvy fashion of your devising, that' wise men in russet, must reverence and stand bare to silken fools; but to conclude, you have gotten such a freedom that you have a finger in all trades, and an oar in every mans boat, nor was there ever any bad thought, word or deed, imagined, spoken, or committed since the Creation, but you were at the middle and both ends of it : and I do remember that I have read how once you bragged, boasted and promised to give all the Kingdoms of the world to be worshipped, and afterwards you were in that poor roguish case, that you were fain to ask leave to take possession of a silly hog. In which manner Part of this Summer's Travels. 45 of vain-glorious ostentation, bragging and boasting, the most part of men are expert, and to promise much, and to perform nothing is, so easy a lesson of your teaching, that many great men are more ready and perfect in it than in their Pater noster. And now you Grand Master of mischief, you may truss up your hose, for at this time my pen is worn blunt, my inkhorn dry and my self weary with jerking, where correction is in pain, and no possibility of no amendment. Thus after the expense of much money, and ten weeks time, having riden 645 miles (of sundry measures and sizes) all weary and almost money-less, I returned to London on Friday the twentieth of September, 1639, THE YYhole Life and Prog^resse of Henry Walker the Ironmonger. First, The manner of Ms Conversation. Secondly, The several offences, and scandalous Pamphlets the said Walker hath writ, and fur which he is* now a prisoner in New-Gate. Thirdly, The forme of the Inditement which is laid against him, by the Kings Sergeants at Law. and his learned Counsell. Fourthly, His Conviction by the lury. Fiftly, His Recantation, and sorrow for the publicke wrong he hath done his Majesty and the whole Kingdome. Here are also many remarkable passages concer- ning the offence, and apprehending the said Henry Walker, with a true Relation of his several escapes and rescues from the hands of Justice ; &c. Collected and Written by lohn Taylor. Printed at London 1642, WALKER'S RECANTATION, TOGETHER WITH HIS LIFE AND CONVERSATION. T is too much apparent to this whole land or kingdom (which our Gracious Sover- eign is the Lord's Anointed over) what, and how many, and numberless pamphlets, seditious and scandalous libels, impudent over-bold, impertinent and saucy- petitions, to the great discontent of his Majesty, the abuse of the High Court of Parliament, and dis- order or cause of the too much confusion throughout all his Majesties Dominions have been dispersed. The chief or main stickler in this cause hath been this Henry Walker of whom I intend to treat in these ensuing lines ; and first to begin with his beginning (as far as I know.) The truth is, he was an apprentice to one Mr. Holland ^Xi ironmonger in Newgate Market ; his time being expired (I know- not how or when) he did set up that trade in divers places of this city of London ; but his trade and he 2 Walker's Recantation, &c. fell at odds one with the other, so that there was a breach betwixt them, and being there was no reconciliation they parted, and never mean to come together again. Then he having left selling grid- irons and gads*, with a gadding brain, walk'd and found out a softer occupation, and setting up a booksellers shop, fell to bookselling, he not having any Word of God in his said shop above the bulk or size of a horn-book. In these troublesome times Mr. Walker set his wits a work to compose such things as he supposed would vent or be saleable, amongst such people as understood them not, loved contention, or were willing to believe any thing that tended to rend or shake the peace of either Church or State, and such (and no other but such) were all the pamphlets, which he (the said Walker) composed, caused to be printed and sold, of which kinds of stuff it is supposed that he hath written near 300 several ones, of which number many of them have been printed 1500. or a 200. at an impression, and 100. (at the least) of any one of them ; besides, some of them have been printed twice or thrice over, so that there hath not been fewer than between 4. or 500,000, of such pamphlets of his dispersed, by which means or doings, some hundred of thread-bare scribblers fell to trade of scandalous writing, and news making, and would be called poets, some half a . *Gads. — Knobs or spikes of iron used in ancient armour. Walker's Recantation, &c. 3 year (or there abouts) Mr. Walker did set his name to his worthless works, till at last his name grew odious and contemptible, so that his flim-flams would not sell, if people did perceive they were of his doing. Then he set out his rarities, nameless and shameless, in greater numbers than formerly he had done, so that all this kingdom or island of Great Britain, with the principality of Wales and realm of Ireland, were embroidered over with lies, libels, and lice ; nay these scandalous fooleries (or knaveries) were of such attractive force and power, that they drew at least 500. vagrants and vagabonds from all the shires round about London, and they were all suddenly metamorphos'd and transform'd into wandering booksellers ; every one of them (like apt scholars) had quickly learned the art to cry, Will you buy a 7iew book, new lye come forth. This hath passed without controlment to the abuse of Church and State, the scandal of the whole kingdom, the injury to this honourable City ; the raising of strifes, divisions, and bad opinions in many people of weak capacities and judgments ; and to the mighty im- peachment and detriment of the Worshipful Brotherhood of the Stationers, who are at great charges in paying all duties and taxes, and that now (almost two years) the bread hath been eaten out of their mouths by those vagrants, commonly called Mercuries and Hawkers. 4 Walker*s Recantation, &c. Walker continuing still in this course, cursed course, his ragged regiment of tatterdemallions daily vending and dispersing his pestiferous pamphlets, at last, one night late he was by a Watch in London taken for a Raf^ and carried to the Counter ; the next day he was brought before the Right Honourable Sir Edmond Wright, (then Lord Mayor) where (upon some occasions) was one Nathardal Brown a stationer, whom Walker desired to speak a good word for him to the Lord Mayor, to whom Brown answered that he would speak. And speak he did to the purpose, for when my Lord came to examine Walker what he was, and how he lived, he being not able to give a good account for himself, then Brown began to certify my Lord of Walkers good behaviour in manner and form following. My Lord (quoth he) I do know this Walker to be an arrant rascal, an ironmonger by his trade, which though it be a Worshipful Company, yet it cannot contain him, nor he it ; but he is a base intruder, and a shifting shuffler into the trade of the Stationers or Booksellers, wherein he unlawfully doth invent, write, print, and scatter all the abusive lies and babbles ( or the most part of them ) that do bestrew the City and country, and I do humbly beseech your Lordship to take some course with him, i7i restraining *Rat. — An old contemptuous nickname for a clergyman. — HalliwelL Walker's Recantation, &c. 5 him from doiiig any vtore. Upon these words the Lord Mayor wotdd have bound Walker to answer at the Sessions^ but he promising to desist and return to his old trade again, was dismissed, and so for that time got off. Yet for all the promises Mr. Walker walked on in his calumnioiLs art and mystery of libelling, until at last his old master owing him a shame, paid him in his own coin thus : He having gotten some notice from some of his Slavonian Hungarian scouts, that his Majesty in- tended to come to London, to the Guild- Hall the next day, which his Majesty did, and dined at Sir George Garrets Knight, and one of the Sheriffs and Alderman of the City, (near Aldermary Church) Walkers invention being mounted icpon the attitude of mischief, he plotted and contrived with a Pri^iter, the said night before to write and print a periloits Petition to his Majesty, and borrowed the Printers zvifes Bible, out of which he took his theme out of the first of Kings, chap. 12. ver. 16 part of the verse ; To your Tents O Israel. There was writing and printing all night, and all the next day those libels were scattered, and when his Majesty had dined, and had taken coach to rettcrn to White- Hall, Walker stood watching the Kings coming by amo7igst the drapers in Pauls Church-yard, and having one of his pamphlets in his hand meaning to have delivered it to his Majesty, but could not come at hhn by reason of the 6 Walker's Recantation, &c. press of people, insomuch as Walker ( most impudently saucy ) threw it over the folks heads into his Majesty s coach. The Earl of Essex being also in the coach took it up, and kept it till his Majesty came to his Palace, where he caused it to be read, and finding it a most seditious thing, the next morning after caused the L. Chief Justice of the Kings Bench to be sent for, who obediently came to his Majesty, to whom the said pamphlet was delivered, with charge with all diligent speed to send forth warrants, for the taking 6?/ Walker and the printer, in which business there was used such vigilant care, that they were both taken that very day and brought before the said L. Chief Justice, and bein^ examined apart, Walker said he wrote it not, but that he bought it of a young scholar all in black in Westminster Hall, and that it cost him two shillings six pence, this was Walkers con- fession, which he subscribed unto. But afterwards the printer was examined, and he affirmed that Walker writ it all with his own hand, and for the doing of it made use of his wifes Bible, in his house, to which confession the printer hath also set his hand. My Lord Chief Justice caused both their Mitti- musses to be made, whereby they were sent to the Kings Bench in South wark by two officers of good place and trust ; in which prison they remained a week or near, until it was thought meet to remove Walker's Recantation, &c. 7 them from the Kings Bench to Newgate, whereby they might be tried at the next approaching Sessions, for which purpose they were removed as aforesaid two days before the Sessions, but they taking boat on the Bankside were landed at the Blackfriars, whereby a rout or rabble of (little better than) rebels, they were violently taken from their keepers, rescued, and so got away that there was no finding of them in many weeks search and enquiry. But all these fair warnings could not make Mr. Walker give over writing, lying and libelling, (selling scurvy base words for good money) lodging in bye- places, holes and cellars, till one time he was seen to go into the house of another usurping pamphleteer, one Fisher a barber an associate of his, but as some would have apprehended him, he made use of his heels, for at that time there was no officer to be found to take him. From this second escape he fled into St. Martins, whither he was pursued, and where he had a printers press at work, but being not able to recover that house, he got into an ale-house called the sign of the Castle, the owner of it (as I have been certified) is one Johi White, but from thence he was set free by the disorderly stir and force of some unruly journeymen shoemakers (who surely knew not what they did) and this was his third escape. 8 Walker's Recantation, &c. The news of this caused more and more Warrants to be issued out for his apprehension ; and there was such narrow search made for him that he was deprived of all his starting holes, and could skulk nowhere secure, so that he was fain to veil himself in the disguise of a minister in a black cloak pendant to his ankles, a spiritual cassock, girt to him with a silk girdle and a canonical knot. With this artificial borrowed habit (and some natural impudence of his own) he presumed to mount into the pulpit, at Saint Mary Magdalens, at Bermondsey in Southwark, where he so handled a text, and made such a preachment, that what with liking and disliking the people were ready to go together by the ears ; at which time an Aldermans man (being curious to hear what stuff Walker would vent) was abused much, and beaten a little. All this while his Majesty is justly and highly offended, that no order is taken for the suppressing of seditious and scandalous pamphlets, and in two messages at several times from his Majesty to both the Houses of Parliament, he nominates Walkers pamphlet of To yotLr Tents O Israel : and indeed whosoever shall read that text and consider the mischief it did in the days of Rehoboam, the son of Solo7non, in making lo of the 12 tribes to fall from the king to Jeroboam, the son of Nebat, (they being both wicked kings) may think it a strange piece of Walker's Recantation, &c. 9 Scripture to be spoken, written, or printed in those times under so mild and gracious a Kino-, to alienate or estrange the hearts of wavering subjects from their allegiance. Well, great enquiry is made night and day, and Walker having a house about Moor-fields, he forsakes it, and escapes when it was beset for him, from thence he got into the Tower Liberty into an upholsterers shop in the Bulwark ; and being heard of, new Warrants being out for him, he was espied in the said shop by one that knew him, and that he knew came to take him, wherefore by the help of two women there, he violently burst away, running towards the Tower Stairs, crying an Arrest, an Arrest, and so got into a boat, offering any gold or silver to be carried away. Thus stood he in the boat almost a quarter of an hour, hundreds or multitudes of people standing on the shore on the Tower-wharf the officers not daring- to fetch him off the water least they should entrench upon the Liberty of the water Bailiff, so that some would rescue him (amongst whom two seemed to be lightermen) and do deserve to have a reward over the shoulders ; others would have him come on land and yield himself ; at last the officers that were ap- pointed to take him went to Sir John Conniers Knight, Lieutenant of the Tower, to crave his command for taking him. Master Lieutenant lo Walkers Recantation, &c. presently sent his clerk to the water side, upon whose coming the boat began to row away with Walker ; then straight four pair of oars made after them, who beleagured him on both sides, and with much ado brought him to the land, and into the Tower, where he now remains, expecting his time of trial, and let him escape how he can or may, it is most certain that he hath done more mischief by his pamphletizing seditions, scandalous ridiculous lies, and railing libels, than one thousand of his heads are worth. But now to come a little nearer, Henry Walker, who is now to be removed by a Warrant directed to the Lieutenant of the Tower, which was on Tuesday last being the fifth of this month of July, to have the body of this aforesaid Walker to be removed to Newgate, and there at the Sessions house in the Old Bailey to have an indictment framed and drawn up against the said Henry Walker, for the several acts which he hath committed in and about London : the true indictment being made by the advice of the Kings Serjeants and Counsel at Law, was preferred against the said Walker on Thursday after being the eighth of the aforesaid month, which being read openly in the Court, and Walker there present at the bar ; pleaded to the said indictment not guilty ; and being asked how he would be tried, answered, by God and his Country, and withal further desired Walker's Recantation, &c. ii of the honourable Bench ; that he might first have a copy of his indictment. Secondly, that the Judges who were then present with the rest of the honour- able Bench, that they would be pleased to grant him the liberty, in regard he knew not the law, that he might have some Counsellor of the Law to plead his cause for him ; both which requests were granted to him which was a great favour. Then the Bench asked W alker what time he would require to make his answer ; then W alker desired but till the next day in the morning to m.ake his defence, which was Friday ; Friday being come about ten of the clock the Queen's Attorney and two Serjeants at Law, caused the indictment to be read ; which being done, they began to show and did make it plain how odious the matter was, and how it was a fact of a high nature ; first against his Majesty, to make him as it were odious to his people : To your Tents O Israel ; as if the King were a tyrant, bidding as it were every man to take his sword and armour ; and oppose all authority whatsoever, obeying no law but that of their own humour and will ; what can there be more said, but that it was very plain, but that this Walker did by those words labour to instigate and stir up the Kings subjects to a mutiny, and to cause tumults to arise in this kingdom, nay in the heart of this kingdom, in the City of London too ; not only to teach these words, but to cause them at his own 12 Walker^s Recantation, &c. charge to, be printed, and to divulge the same through his Majesties Kingdoms : Nor did this Walker rest himself therewith satisfied, but in an audacious way, and in a bold manner, as the King's Majesty passed through the City of London riding in his coach, threw one of them into the very coach itself, and in the very face of the King ; what an affront was this ? can any age parallel it, or any Chronicle make mention of the like, and in a Civil Common-wealth ; and in a well governed city ; I think not : nor is this all, for this Walker hath invented and writ divers pamphlets, and other scandalous books, to the great disturbance of his Majesty, and of his liege people, a mere sower of division, an upholder of a new Government ; an inventor of a new Doctrine, nay, he is become a preacher and a deliverer of this his humour even in the Church, and openly in the pulpit too, and on the Sunday : drawing after him, and seducing poor ignorant people to the very ruin of their souls, if it were possible. This act of his, it was done with much venom, malice, bitterness, and rancour ; con- sidering the . time because the King and his Parliament were then at some difference, who did as much as in him lay to set his Majesty and his subjects together at discord ; it was drawn with cunning, and at such a time published, that if envy itself had plotted it, it could not have come forth in Walker's Recantation, &c. 13 a more dangerous season. He confessed it was his own work, and done by night ; and the next day by him exposed to sale : it was a foul misdemeanour, and it was published with an ill intent. Nay what is this Walker not, what wrong he hath done let his own conscience, his several books and pamphlets, which he hath both written, made, and printed them himself witness. Well, the Jury hears the informa- tion, the several pleadings, the several witnesses that this Walker was the only framer, inventor, publisher, and disperser of that book To yottr Tents O Israel ; upon which several evidences the Jury withdraws themselves (being 12 honest men and of a good rank and quality) to consider of the matter ; which being truly weighed, and a long time debated and scanned, agreed all in one mind, called for Hejiry Walker to the bar ; who being come to deliver their verdict, they all declared him by the voice of their Fore-man to be guilty both of the Trespass and of the Misdemeanour. He was convicted, i. For writing of it. 2. For the composing of it. 3. For the publishing of it himself at the printers house, and receiving money for them. Which done he had nothing to say for himself, nor his Counsel neither, but only he did it not with an ill intent to do any harm. And now he is heartily sorrowful for it, and begs the Kings mercy, and the charitable censure of all men for his rashness and over-hot zeal; especially 14 Walker's Recantation, &c. of his sacred Majesty, whom he hath most offended; and for his Majestys clemency to him, he will ever be bound to pray for him ; because his Majesty did give command that this indictment should not be put against him for Treason, but only for Misdemeanour; which if it had been preferred for Treason, it might have been as well found and cost him his life, as for this fact of misdemeanour ; and so I H. Walker am heartily sorry, and desire God, his Majesty, and all his Majestys subjects to forgive me, and by my example to forsake these private and secret meetings, or rather conventicles ; and so with tears I submit my- self to the law, and the punishments whensoever it shall be denounced and inflicted upon me. Dated the 12 of July, 1642. FINIS. MAD FASHIONS, OD FASHIONS, , All out of Fasliions, OR, The Emblems of these Distracted times. By lohii Taylor. LONDON,-, Printed by lohn Hammond, for ThowMS Banks, 1642. Mad Fashions, Odd Fashions, All out of Fashions, OR, The Emblems of these distracted times, ^^^^HE Picture that is Printed in the front g^^^ll^ Is Hke this Kingdom, if you look upon t w^i^^ For if you well do note it as it is, It is a transform'd Metamorphosis, This Monstrous Picture plainly doth declare This land (quite out of order) out of square His Breeches on his shoulders do appear, His Doublet on his lower parts doth wear; His Boots and Spurs upon his Arms and Hands, His Gloves upon his feet (whereon he stands) The Church o'erturned (a lamentable show) The Candlestick above, the light below, The Coney hunts the Dog, the Rat the Cat, The Horse doth whip the Cart (I pray mark that) The Wheelbarrow doth drive the man (oh Base) And Eels and Gudgeons fly a mighty pace. And sure this is a Monster of strange fashion. That doth surpass all Ovid's Transformation, 2 Mad Fashions, Odd Fashions, And this is England's case this very day, All things are turned the Clean contrary way ; For Now, when as a Royal Parliament, (With King, and Peers, and Commons whole consent) Have almost sat two years, with pains and Cares, And Charge, to free us from our Griefs and fears, For when many a worthy Lord and Knight, And good Esquire (for King and Country's Right) Have spent so much time with Great Toil, and Heed, All England's Vicious garden how to weed, So like a Wilderness 'twas overrun. That though much hath been done ; All is not done. The Devil doth persuade, entice and lurk. And force bad men to set good men awork. That whilst the Worthies strive to right our wrongs, And give to each man, what to him belongs ; Whilst they take pains to settle all things here. An Irish Devil, doth madly domineer. From Hell's black Pit, begirt with Romish Arms, Thousands of Locusts, are in Troops and Swarms, More Barbarous than the Heathen, worse than Jews, No Turks, or Tartars would such Tortures use. Sure that Religion can no ways be good. That so inhumanly delights in Blood : Nor do that doctrine from the scriptures spring. That Subjects should Rebel against their King. All out of Fashions, &c. 3 Nay (further) murder, ravish, spoil deflower, Burn and lay waste, depopulate, devour, Not sparing Infants at the Breast or womb, (To die where first they lived, their Birth, their Tomb) 'Tis said no Serpent, Adder, Snake, or Toad, Can live in Ireland, or hath there abode : 'Tis strange that she those Vipers doth not Kill, That Gnaws her Bowels, and her blood doth spill, Can Irish Earth Kill all things venomous. And can she nurse such Vermin Mischievous : Her own sons Native, worse than Strangers Born, They have their Mother s Entrails rent and torn, Yet still her Indulgency, harbours those. And feeds those Rebels that do breed her woes : God (in thy Mercy) give her strength and Aid, And courage, make her foes and ours dismayed, Thou Lord of Hosts, thine own cause take in hand, Thy foes (Thine Anti-christian foes) withstand ; Defend thy truth, and all our Armies guide, Our enemies to scatter and divide. Thus leaving Ireland (with my hearty prayers) To Britain back again my Muse repairs : Where I perceive a Metamorphosis, Is most preposterous, as the Picture is. The world's turned upside down, from bad to worse, Quite out of frame, The cart before the Horse, 4 Mad Fashions, Odd Fashions, The Felt-maker, and saucy stable Groom Will dare to Perch into the Preacher's Room, Each Ignorant, do of the Spirit Boast, And prating fools brag of the Holy Ghost, When Ignoramus will his Teacher Teach, And Sow-gelders, and Cobblers dare to preach, This shews, men's wits are monstrously disguised. Or that Country is Antipodis'd. When holy Common Prayer, is by the Rabble Accounted Porridge, and unfruitful Babble, When our Belief is not so much as said. When as the Ten Commandments are not read. When as the Lord's Prayer is almost neglected. When as all decency is quite rejected. When to avoid a Romish Papist's name, A man must be unmannerly, past shame. When he that show Reverence, doth offend. And he seems best that will not bow or bend. When he that into God's House doth not come. As to a Stable, or a Tippling Room, Is counted for a Popish favourite. And branded so, despised, and scorned with spite. When He that (of his ways) doth conscience make. And in his heart doth world, flesh, fiend forsake. Loves God with all his soul ; adores no pelf. And loves his Neighbour, as he loves himself. This man is Rare to find, yet this Rare man All out of Fashions, &c. 5 Shall have the Hateful name of Puritan ; When execrations pierce the firmament, And oaths do batter against Heaven's Battlement : When Imprecations, and damned Blasphemies, In sundry cursed volleys scale the Skies, When men more Brutish than the Horse or Mule, Who know not to obey, presume to Rule, Thus Church and Common-wealth, and men, all are (Much like the Picture) out of frame or square. And if 'twere possible our fathers old Should live again, and tread upon this mould, And see all things confused, overthrown, They would not know this Country for their own. For England hath no likelihood, or show Of what it was but seventy years ago; Religion, manners, life and shapes of men, Are much unlike the people that were then, Nay England's face and language is estrang'd, That all is Metamorphosed, chopped, and changed, For like as on the Poles, the World is whirled So is this Land the Bedlam of the World ; That I amazed, and amated am. To see Great Britain turned to Amsterdam^ Men's brains and wits (two simples beat together) From thence (mixed and compounded^ are sent hither For Amsterstam is landed (as I hear) At Ryey or Hastings, or at Dover Pier, 6 Mad Fashions, Odd Fashions, At Harwich, Ipswich, Sandwich, or at Weymouth, At Portsmouth, Dartmouth, Exmouth, Plymouth, Falmouth, At Yarmottth, and at all the Ports, to Teignmouth, And westward unto Bristol and to Monmouth ; From all these Mouths and more, mad sects are sent, Who have Religion all in pieces Rent, One would have this, Another would have that, And most of them would have they know not what. God give us peace, and ease us in our pain. And send those sects, from whence they came again, The Papist, and the Schismatic ; both grieves The Church, for she's like Christ (Between two Thieves.) I took the Protestation twice of Late, Where I protested not to Innovate. T'avoid all Popish Rites, and to express Obedience to what England's Church profess, My Loyalty unto my King is bent With duty to the Peers and Parliament. With Prayers, and my best service for them all. That on them may Heaven's chiefest blessings fall, That with one heart, as one man, with one mind, (For God's great glory) they may be combined, And never vary, but go boldly on, To end the good work, which they have begun. This is the Sum (which ne'er shall be forsook) All out of Fashions, &c. 7 Of what I in the Protestation took. But, for all this, I may be mannerly In God's House, and be free from Papistry ; I hope I may put off my hat, and be Allowed to Kneel, and Pray, and Bow my Knee, When as divine Command bids, only then ril Bow to God, and not to Saints, or Men. And from those duties I will never vary Till death, or Order do command contrary. The Almighty's Name be ever praised and blessed. That Romish superstition is suppressed. We have no Abbies, Abbots, Friars, or Monks, Nor have we Nuns, or Stews allowed for Punks, We have no Masses, or no Mass- Priests here. But some are hanged, and some are fled for fear. All those that are so bold to stay behind, I wish they may like entertainment find ; Beads, Baubles, Relics, Tapers, Lamps or Lights, We have no superstitious Romish Rites, We seek our Pardons from our Heavenly Hope, And not by works, or favour from the Pope ; To Saints we make no prayer, or Intercession, And unto God alone we make Confession ; We hold no Real Presence in the Bread, And we do know King Charles our supreme head (Beneath God, who hath placed him in his Throne) For other Supreme, we acknowledge none. No Purgatory, Image, Wood or Stone, 8 Mad Fashions, Odd Fashions, &c. No Stock, or carved Block, we trust upon. Nor is our Church discretion here so Httle, As to Baptize with Cream, with salt and Spittle. We have as many Sacraments, as Heaven Ordained ; which are but two, and Rome hath seven We do not Christen Bells, and give them Names Of Simon, Peter, Andrew, John and James ; We use no Pilgrimage, or Holy- water, Nor in an unknown tongue our Prayers scatter ; All these, and many more, in Rome are used Which are by us rejected and refused. And yet too many faults, alas remains. Which are the Church's, and the Kingdom's stains. The Church Triumphant is not clear from spots, The Poor Church Militant hath still some blots, Here's all imperfect, something's still amiss. And nothing's blessed, but in Eternal Bliss. Meantime, till we amend, and leave our crimes, The Picture is the Emblem of the Times. FINIS. THE KINGS MOST EXCELLENT MAJESTIES V V ellcome to his owne House, Truly called the Honour of Hampton COVRT, Who came thither on the 24. of August, and so consequently hoped and hum- bly desired to White-Hall. Written by his Majesties most humble servant John Tailor , one of the Yeoman of His Majesties Guard. A litis Poeta Aquatticus. From my House at the Crowne in Globe Lane, alias Phoenix Al- ly, nere the Globe Taverne in Long Aker, Printed in the Yeare. 1647. THE KINGS Most Excellent Majesties, Welcome to his own House, Truly called the Honour of Hampton-CoMYt. ,OST Gracious (suffering) Sovereign Lord and King Had I a quill plucked from the PhcBuix wing. Or Homers Muse or, Virgils to wring style, (Thy ten times long wish'd welcome to compile) Had I all these great aids, all were too few, Thy Subjects long expected joys to show Thy presence hath inspir'd this Muse of rnine, More than Apollo and his triple Trine, He's dull brained, and a Poet cannot be. That wants a Muse (Great King,) and writes of thee. A juster Master servant never had And servants false to man, too bad But as the Eagle never cast his eyes, 2 The King's Majesties Welcome On abject, objects, vermin, gnats or flies. So thou not minding injuries, hath still, With thine own goodness overcome their ill. Ungrateful men took clothing, wages, food. From thee, and have repaid thee ill for good : Which thy Heroic mind still slighted hath, As most unworthy of thy Royal wrath. There's not a grace, a virtue of an Art, But are enthroned in thy Princely Heart : Faith and Fame unshaken with the wrongs, Of perjur'd writers and perfidious tongues. Thy certain Hope in thy Majestic Breast That fix'd belief, shall be made manifest By Charity, which thou hast shew'd to those Who are thy cursed causeless mortal foes. Whereby thy virtues patient constancy. Hath won thee a more glorious victory. Than If (by conquest) thy sharp sword should pierce Through all the Kingdoms of the Universe. Thy Mercy and thy Jttstice are the Gems, And richest Jewels in thy Diadems. To sum up all ; 'tis truly understood There's nothing may be named just or good But is in thee ingrafted, and nothing ill Thou sayest or doest, but 'tis against thy will. Thy Master Christ (the light made thee discern, And this bless'd Lesson thou from him didst learn. That he that Loveth, Father, Mother, Wife, TO Hampton Court. 3 Children, earths goods or glory, or his life More than his Saviour (such a sordid Spirit) Is most unworthy of his Masters Merit : This precept thou hast practis'd this thy troth Kept in thy Christian Coronation Oath, Wife, Children, Crown, and Kingdoms, friends, Life, all Thou hazard'st either to rise, stand or fall, Thy Love (Great King) to thy great King of Kings, By thee hath been prefer d above all things. For which he'll crown his Gifts in thee, and He Will crown thee glorious with Eternity : Thy Constancy hath trip'd up Fortunes heel. Thy mind ne'er minded her Inconstant Wheel : What good, or bad Occurrences effected ; Thy Spirits were ne'er erected or dejected ; Not with a stupid Humour stoical, But with a Christian Mind Majestical : And with Impregnable strong confidence. Still trusting in the Almighties Providence. Now may we see that Patience, Clemency, Religion, and true Magnanimity, Are Talents lent, whose value doth excel : And all the Profits theirs that use them well. And (Royal Sir) Thou hast done well (no doubt) Thou hast not wrap'd thy Talent in a Clout, But so improv'd thy trust, in thy Trustee, That tenfold ten times more thy trust shall be. 4 The King's Majesties Welcome And now poor England, hath so many years Been Plagu'd with causeless yealousies and Fears^ Which (Hke Black clouds) dispersed with wavering wind: Made Wit squint-ey'd, and Understanding blind, Whereby each how was frighted hence sweet Peace And every moment miseries increase : But as bright Phoebus (interposed by Clouds, Which with a mourning face the earth e'en shrouds) At last dispels them with his Radiant Ray, And makes the dulsome dark, a gladsome day. So we (mistaken Subjects) hood-wink over With Ignorance, our sights again recover. King Charles shines clear, as Sols Coruscant Beams Hath prov'd our Jealous Fears were less than dreams, Mild Dove-like King brings Peace with the Olive Branch, Whose Love (like Balsam, Bleeding wounds will staunch Our cheerful faces, shows our minds (like Mirrors) Free from suspicious thoughts, or needless Terrors : Hearts overflow'd with Joys, Thanks up erected To God, who for us hath this good effected: Our joyful eyes shows April drops of pleasure, And showers of Joy fill the Horizons measure, The Almighty hath thy troubles seen and heard, And hath thy upright heart in such regard TO Hampton Court. 5 That (maugre mischief) His outstretched Arm Hath, doth, and will defend thee still from Harm, Base Shimei Rails not as he erst hath hath done. Nor rake-hell Sheba (Bieris cursed son) Doth roar and rail with loud Infernal yell. Or cry out, to your Tents oh Israel That Secretaries no more contention Breed But humbly learn to know their Christian Creed, That Judases no more Hail Master say When as they mean their Master to betray. That Reverend Levites of a new hatch Brood, Make England drunk no more with English Blood. That we may have our Queen and Prince once more, And use them Kinder than we did of yore. Triumphing trumpets sound shall mount to the stars And not the dreadful charge of civil wars. Sweet Peace (we hope shall still the Churlish Drum, And Murdering, Thundering, Guns, Commanded Dumb, jfustice and Mercy both Kiss (when they meet) No heavy sad complaining in our street, No more shall England bathe in her own Gore, Or leading to captivity no more. Sword (drunk with blood) shall in their Scabbards rest. No plundering or free quartering shall molest. 6 The King\s Majesties Welcome The painful farmer, ploughman, or the swain, And weapons shall give place to gowns again. The Church resume her rights she had before, The Clergy to be scandalized no more. Thus each man hopes he shall his right enjoy And all cease one another to destroy. The King shall have his own again, and see, His enemies ashamed and odious be. Upon thy Head still flourish may thy Crown, And ten times troubled be thy high Renown That thee and thine in glory here may Reign, Until the King of glory come again: For such as speak peace, and do war intend, For any Sinister or private end. That of tranquillity do prate and prattle. But wish for war, yet dare not see a Battle, Let all such never claim a Christian Name Whose trade or pleasure in Blood and Flame, Of their dear Country, to Rip, Rend and tear, Their Mothers Womb, which did such Bastards bear. Belike some fear that Peace would drive'em hence To Engla7td New, or the Isle Providence: Virginia, Bermudas, or St. Kitts. Barbadoes, Mevis, or besides their wits * But those that offering to the Altars bring, To raise new wars 'gainst Kingdom Laws and King, TO Hampton Court. 7 Let them go West- ward to the Triple tree, And like false Traitors, hang both he and she. Those Sons of Hittites and of Amorites, God do to them, as to the Midianites, As Heathen Sisera, and as Fabin died At Endors Field, (where Kishows Brook doth slide) As they became as dung, so let them be, That to a blessed Peace will not agree, The peace of God, grant us thou God of Peace, Let us cease sin, thou wilt our sorrows cease. Let's frame our lives according to thy word And let no Sword be drawn, but Justice Sword, To which ends, thou good God of Consolation, Send happy peace to this afflicted Nation. So welcome good King Charles to Hampton Court, And God be still thy shield, defence and Fort. FINIS. JOHN TAYLORS Wandering' to fee the Wonders of the WEST. How he travelled neere 600. Miles, from London to the Mount in Cornwall, and beyond the Mount, to the Lands end, and home againe. Dedicated to all his loving Friends, and free minded Benefactors. In thefe dangerous dayes for Rich men , and mifer- able times for the Poore Servants of the late King , (whereof I was one, 45.yeers to his Royall Father and Himfelf) I thought it needful to take fome courfe to make ufe of fome friends, and devife a painfull way for my subfiftence ; which was the Journey I have paft, and this Booke heere prefent ; for which purpofe I gave out many of thefe following Bills, to which neere 3000. Gentlemen and others, have kindly fubfcribed, to give me a reafonable reward. Printed in the Yeere 1 6\(). The Bill of ]o\in Taylor, or a Taylors Bill, with- out either Imprimis, or Items. LD, lame, and poor, by mad contentions begger'd, And round about with miseries beleagur'd : Too many masters, made me masterless. Too many wrongs have made me moneyless, Helpless, and hopeless, and remedyless, And every way encompast with distress, To ease my griefs I have one trick of wit, (If you that read will set your hands to it :) Which is, when I do give you good account From London unto Cornwall's Michaels Mount, Of all my journey, and what news I found In air, or sea, above, or under ground ; When I do give you truths of this in print, How I did travel, gravel, dust, dirt, flint, My entertainment, where 'twas good, where ill, Then (in good money) give me what you will. Your names and dwellings, write that I may find you. And I shall (with my book) seek, find, and mind you, with humble thanks. EVEN times at Sea I served Eliza Queen, Since when, I thrice in Germany have been. Once in Bohemia 'twixt earth, sea and sky, And once to Scotland, and the mountains high : Then unto Queenborough, in a paper boat, Then next (from London) I to York did float With a small pair of oars (or little M^herry) And in like sort from London to Salisbury, Next that my man and I did ride out steeds To Leicester, Lynn, Hull, Halifax and Leeds, O'er lofty mountains, where the winds blew bleak, To Chester, Derby, and Devil's arse a peak. Then with a sculler's boat to Cirencester, From thence (up Severn's flood) to Gloucester, To Worcester, and the town of Shrewsbury, From thence to Bristol, and to Bath I fly ; These are no fictions, or false idle tales, I pass from Bath to the river Wye in Wales ; Then Hereford did me well entertain, From whence I home came in my boat again. Last (to the King) at the Isle of Wight I went, Since when my best content, is discontent : Thus having travelled North, and South, and East, I mean to end my travels with the West, TAYLORS WESTERN VOYAGE TO THE MOUNT. \/S a mad world (my masters) and in sadness I travelled madly in these days of mad- ness : Eight years a frenzy did this land molest, The ninth year seemed to be much like the rest, Myself ( with age, grief wrongs, and wants opprest. With troubles more than patience could digest) Amongst those ills, I chose the least and best, Which was to take this journey to the West: And sure it is an argument most fit, That he who hath a portion of small wit As I have, and good store of friends, 'twere sloth And foolery, not to make use of both. My wit was worn threadbare, half naked, poor, And I, with it, went wool-gat hiring for more. This long zvalk ( first and last) I tmdertook On purpose to get money by my book : My friends ( I know ) will pay me for my pain, 4 Taylor's Western Voyage And I will never trouble them again. Six hundred miles, I ( very near) have footed, And all that time was neither shod or booted ; But in light buskins I performed this travel O'er hill and dale, through dust, dirt, flint, and gravel. And now no more words I in vain will scatter, ' But come unto the marrow of the matter. My reader must not here suppose that I Will write a treatise of geography : Or that I mean to make exact relations Of cities, towns, or countries situations ; Such men as those, I turn them der to read The learned Camden, or the painftd Speed. And now (good reader) I my muse do tune, I London left, the twenty one of June : To Brentford, Colnbrook, M aidenhead and Henley, I past (the weather fair, the highways cleanly) To Abingdon, where four days I remained. By friends and kinsfolks kindly entertained : Thanks to my nephew John, with all the rest, To whom that time I was a costly guest. TO THE Mount. 5 ND now methinks a little prose may be relished amongst friends; I left Abingdon on Wednesday the 27 of June, and (for the ease of my purse) I gave 2s. 6d. for the hire of the skeleton or anatomy of a beast to carry me ten miles to Farringdon ; the thing I was mounted on was neither horse, mare, or gelding, it was all spirit, with very little (or no) flesh. It was none of your pursy foggy jades, and amongst horsemen it might have passed for a light horse, too much work, and too little meat, made him as gaunt as a greyhound : Thus (mounted like Don Qtiixote) I entered Farringdon, but worse guests than I had been there since these troubles ; for the King's party burnt one part of the town, and the Parliament's fired the rest, so that between them there was a good handsome market town turned into ashes and rubbage : It begins to bud and spring out again, for here and there a pretty house peeps up : so that it will in short time be rebuilt, and Phoenix like (out of its own cinders) be revived and renewed to a more pleasing and beautiful prospect. From Farringdon I footed it four miles to Highworthy (a market town) and from then to Purton seven miles more, where I lodged, there was nothing remarkable in all that day's travels ; but that in the morning a church at a village called 6 Taylor's Western Voyage Kingston, (five miles from Abingdon) having no steeple ; but the church at Purton (where I lay all night) had two steeples ; but I was certified that the minister that had two steeples, had but one benefice, and he that had none, had two, by which means the reckoning was even betwixt them, for what the one had, the other had not. The 28 of June, I betook me to my feet an hour and half before the sun could show his face in Somersetshire, and for one shilling I hired an old drunkard to guide me eight long miles to the town of Malmesbury, where all worthy remembrance was, that I found an ancient town, an old castle, and new ale ; from thence I hired a horse for 2s. seven miles, and footed it seven miles more that day to the famous, renowned, ancient, little pretty city of Bath ; I lodged in the Mayor's house : but his worship was as ignorant as myself, for he being a baker, had let half his house to a victualler ; so he sold bread without, and I bought drink within : The next day I had notice where I was, wherefore I went to his stall or shop window, and told him what I was, and that I was he who came nine years ago from London, to that city with a small sculler's boat ; Mr. Mayor was pleased to entertain me most kindly (with both his hands in his pocket) and like a man of few words, forbore to say welcome to town ; so we parting drily I left him in his shop, TO THE Mount. 7 Lord Baron of the brown loaves, and Master of the Rolls (in that place :) but there is no doubt but the man may live a fair age, and die in his bed, if he escape the unfortunate destiny of Pharaoh! s baker. Friday 29 of June, I had the luck twice to have not one dry thread about me, (being wet to the very skin) and yet my clothes were as dry as a bone : the reason is, that I was in the Bath, and my clothes out. June 30. I travelled fifteen miles to the town of Wells, where I stayed but little, and found as little matter of observation, but that these holy, profane days, and blessed execrable times of troublesome tranquility, have spoiled and defaced one of the goodliest and magnificent cathedral churches in the Christian world : but such pious works as pollution and abusing of churches, we need not go amongst Turks for proofs ; for though Pelers at Westminster hath scaped reasonable cleanly, yet Pauls in London hath lain out of order, in ordure a battening. The same day I went four miles further to the ancient town of Glastonbury, there I saw the ruins of an abbey, which was one of the stateliest and most sumptuous structures in England or Europe: there remains yet the ruined walls of a chapel built in memory of Joseph of Arimathcea (who as it is re- corded by authentic historians) did first convert this land from Paganism to Christianity : And we have 8 Taylor s Western Voyage great fieed of another good Joseph to come amongst us, to do as much for us now. But there is no memorial of any place where that good old man was buried : the abbey was walled more than a mile about, with a wall of free-stone, as fair as London wall; it is very probable that King Arthur (our English worthy) was there sepulchred ; for there I saw some stones of marble, of which I placed the broken pieces together ; I read these words in Latin, Hie jacet Guineverus Regina, Uxores, &c. Queen Guinever was wife to the great Arthur, arid she being buried there, it is to be conjectured that his bones were not laid far from her. Mr. Camden, doth quote the ancient historian- William of Matmesbury, to write these words follow, ing concerning Glastonbury. That it was the first Land of God in England, the first Land of Saints in England, the beginning and fountain of all Religion in England, the Tomb of Saints, the Mother of Saints, the Church founded and built by the Lords Disciples. I saw a branch or slip of the hawthorn tree that did bear blossoms every year (when all other trees were frost-bitten, and seemed dead:) this tree only, on Christmas-day, the day of our blessed Saviour s birth ; this tree did (in its kind) show its joy in commemoration of the Nativity of the Redeemer of unkind mankind : There are all the TO THE Mount. 9 inhabitants in the town will verify it, and thousands in England and other countries will affirm that it is no fable : the soldiers being over zealous did cut it down in pure devotion ; but a vintner dwelling in the town did save a great slip or branch of it, and placed or set it in his garden, and he with others did tell me that the same doth likewise bloom on the 25th day of December, yearly; I saw the said branch, and it was ten feet high, green, and flourish- ing ; I did take a dead sprig from it, wherewith I made two or three tobacco stoppers, which I brought to London ; my humble thanks to Mr. Brook] with (his good sister) for they entertained me freely, so that the town of Glastonbury was not one penny the richer for any expense of mine. Monday, the second of yuly, I went to Bridge- water ten miles, where all that was worthy of note was, that near the town, at a stile I had a great disaster ; for a shag or splinter of the stile took hold of my one and only breeches, and tore them in that extreme unmerciful, unmannerly manner, that for shame and modesty's sake I was feign to put them off, and go breechless into the town, where I found a botching threepenny tailor, who did patch me up with such reparations as made me not ashamed to put my breeches on again, and trot five miles further to a ragged market town called Neatkerstoy^ where extreme weary, I took up my lodging, at a lo Taylors Western Voyage sign and no sign, which formerly was the Rose and Crown ; but Roses are withered, and Crowns are obscured, as the sign was. Surely that day was a mad, sad, glad, auspicious, unlucky day to me, worse than an ominous, childermas,^ or a dogged biting dog-day ; for the hostess was out of town, mine host was very sufficiently drunk, the house most delicately decked with exquisite artificial, and natural sluttery, the room besprinkled and strewed with the excrements of pigs and children : the wall and ceilings were adorned and hanged with rare spider's tapestry, or cobweb-lawn ; the smoke was so palpable and per- spicuous, that I could scarce see anything else, and yet I could scarce see that, it so blinded me with rheum a sign of weeping ; besides all this, the odourous and contagious perfume of that house was able to outvie all the milliners^ in Christendom or Somersetshire. I being thus embellished, or encompassed with these most unmatchable varieties ; but to comfort me completely, mine host swigged off half a pot to me, bade me be merry, and asked me if I would have any powdered beef and carrots to supper ; I told him yes, with all my heart ; but I being weary of the 'Childermas or Innocent's-day. — An anniversary of the Church of England, held on the 28th of December, in coiiimemoration of the children of Bethlehem slain by Herod. ^Milliners were originally men. — " He was perfumed like a milliner.'''' SJialis. I Henry IV. Act i, sc. 3. TO THE Mount. house, I went and sat three hours in the street, where mine host often did visit me with most deHghtful and hydropical nonsense ; at last, seven of the clock was struck, and I went into the house to see if supper were ready ; but I found small com- fort there, for the fire was out, no beef to be boiled, mine host fast asleep, the maid attending the hogs, and my hungry self half starved with expectation ; I awaked mine host, and asked him where the beef was, he told me that he had none, and desired me to be contented with eggs fried with parsley ; I, prayed him to show me my chamber, which he did ; the chamber was suitable to the rest of the house ; there I staid till near nine o'clock, expecting fried eggs, when mine host came to me with an empty answer, there were no eggs to be had, so at the last I purchased a piece of bread and butter, and to bed, and then began my further torments ; for thinking to take a little rest, I was furiously assaulted by an Ethiopian army of fleas, and do verily believe that I laid so manfully about me that I made more than 500 mortuus est : they were so well grown that as I took 'em I gave 'em no quarter, but rubbed 'em between my finger and my thumb, and they were so plump and mellow, that they would squash to pieces like young boiled peas : but all these troubles I patiently passed by, making no more account of them, than of so many flea bitings. For my further 12 Taylor s Western Voyage delight, my chamber-pot seemed to be Hned within with crimson plush, or shagged scarlet baize, it had scaped a scouring time out of mind, it was furred with antiquity, and withal it had a monumental savour ; and this piss-pot was another of my best contentments. At last, weariness and watching, began to enforce sleep upon me, so that (in spite of the fleas teeth) I began to wink, when suddenly, three children began to cry, and for an hour's space I was kept waking, which made me fall to the slaughter again. The children being hushed asleep, the game began afresh amongst the dogs ; for the cry was up, and the bawling curs took the word one from the other, all the town over ; and the dogs had no sooner done, but the day break appeared, and the hogs began to cry out- for their breakfast : so I arose, and travelled (almost sleeping) ten miles that day ; which was to a town ^called Dunster, where upon a lofty hill stands a strong castle, it had then a garrison in it ; I must confess I was free there. From nasty roomSy that never felt brooms^ From excrements^ and all bad scents, From children s bawling, and caterwauling, From grunting of hogs, and barking of dogs. And from biting of fleas, there I found ease. The fourth of July, I travelled to Exford (so named) because it stands near the head, or spring of TO THE Mount. 13 the river Ex, which runs down from north to south near forty miles to the city of Exeter, and to Exmouth, where it dehvers itself into the ocean, and from thence to Brayford, (another ford which runs into the river of Ex, as the people told me ; but I find it not so in the map,) that day's journey was sixteen miles, a tedious weary way for a crazy, old, lame, bad, foundered footman, I am sure I found it so ; for when I came to my lodging I had more mind to eat than to fight, and a better stomach to a bed than a supper. The fifth of July, I walked but seven miles to Barnstaple, a very fine sweet town, so clean and neat, that in the worse of weather, a man may walk the streets, and never foul shoe or boot ; there I staid till the next day noon, being well and wel- comely entertained by one Mr. jfohn Downs, who gave me fiddlers fare, meat, drink and money, for which I heartily thanked him : from thence I passed by water five miles to Aplear [Appledore]. Jtily the sixth (being Friday) I paced it ten miles to a place named Ferry Cross, in the parish of Arlington, and the seventh day I turned my back upon Devonshire, having gone that day fifteen miles to the market town in Cornwall (on the north-side of the county) named Stratton. Cornwall is the Cornucopia, the complete and replete horn of abundance for high churlish hills, 14 Taylor's Western Voyage and affable courteous people ; they are loving to requite a kindness, placable to remit a wrong, and hardy to retort injuries ; the country hath its share of huge stones, mighty rocks, noble, free, gentlemen, bountiful housekeepers, strong and stout men, handsome, beautiful women, and (for any that I know) there is not one Cornish cuckold to be found in the whole county : in brief they are in most plentiful manner happy in the abundance of right and left hand blessings. It is a wonder that such rugged mountains do produce such fertility of corn, and cattle ; for if the happy days and times of peace were once settled, Cornwall might compare with any county in England, for quantity of all necessaries needful, and quality of persons. The ninth of Jtdy I left Stratton, and ambled twenty miles to the town of Camelford, and to a village called Blisland, and there I was taken for the man I was not ; for they suspected me to be a bringer of writs and process to serve upon some gentlemen, and to bring men into trouble : But with much ado I scaped a beating, by beating into their beliefs that I was no such creatnre. Jtdy the tenth, I came to Bodmin, (a market town) and from thence the same day to a village called St. Enoder, a part of which parish is called Penhall, there at a smith's house was good lodging, TO THE Mount. 15 better cheer, and best drink ; the smith was lame, his wife was fair and handsome, where if I could have acted the part ot Mars, there might have been played the comedy of Vulcan and Venus : that day's travel was eighteen miles. July eleventh, I progressed to Truro, another market town, which is the Lord Roberts his land ; there I bought a fish called a Bream for three pence, it would have served four men ; after dinner I went eight miles further to a town called Redruth, in all that day's travels eighteen miles, I saw nothing strange to me but a few Cornish daws (or choughs) with red bills, and legs : They saluted me upon the wing, just in the language of our jack daws about London, Ka, ka. The twelfth of July, I came within two miles of Saint Michaels Mount, to an ancient house called by the name of Trhnineague ; it hath been, and is the birth place of worthy families, of the noble name of the Godolphins ; The right owner and possessor of it now is Francis Godolphin, Esquire, a gentleman endowed with piety, humanity, affability and ability ; he hath a heart charitable, a mind bountiful, and a hand liberal ; he hath (deservedly) the cordial love of all the county, and would have the enjoyments of earthly contentments, if once these discontented times were quieted ; seven days I staid with him, in which time he was pleased to 1 6 Taylor's Western Voyage send a kinsman of his (Mr. Anthony Godolphin) with me to see the Mount, which I thus describe. It is about a mile in compass at the foot, and it rises about 700 paces very steep to the top, it is in form Hke a great haycock or rick, or much Hke a mountere ; on the top or piramis^ of it, is a fine church called Saint Michaels, the said church is now for no other use but a well stored magazine with ammunition. From whence (for a relic of remembrance) I brought half a yard of Saint Michaels Mounts monumental match ; I went to the top of the church tower seventy steps higher, and in my coming down I viewed the bells (which were five in number) being fair and handsome, they cannot be rung, because the crack rope soldiers have broke all the bell-ropes, insomuch as for any more ringing there, the bells being ropeless, the people are hopeless. To speak the truth of this so much talked of famous mount; it is lofty, rocky, inaccesible, im- pregnable not to be taken, or kept, not worth the taking or keeping ; it is a barren stony little wen or wart, that with men, ammunition, and victuals is able to defend itself ; but if it hath not the sea and land to friend, there is an enemy called hunger (or famine) that will conquer mounts and mountains : it can do no service to the seaward, for the water is so ^PiR AMIS .—i.e., Pyramid, TO THE Mount. 17 shallow, that no ship can sail within shot of it, and for land service the Town of Market-Jew,^^ stands better for defence : the Moiint is an island, and no island, twice in every 24 hours : for when the sea is up, boats must be used to go to it, but upon the ebb, troopers may ride to it forty in rank : Market-J ew is about two flight shoot of it, the Mayor whereof (one Mr. William MabB) caused me to dine with him, for which I return him a few printed thanks. In the mount I saw a craggy rugged seat, of rocky upholstery, which the old fabulous rumour calls St. Michcels Chair : and a well I saw there, which twice in 24 hours is fresh water, and salt water : this mount had a garrison within it, which made the country people to grumble without it ; yet the soldiers are pretty civil : and one captain Geary did courteously regard and drink with me at the majors house at Market-Jew. From whence I returned to Mr. Godolphins, and he did persuade me to see the Lands end, fourteen miles further ; for which journey on the 16 day of July, he did lend me two horses, with his kinsman to ride with me, where (for his sake) I was welcome by the way, with a good dinner, at one Mr. Levales house, from whence I rode, and went as far as I could ride, go, or creep, for rocks and sea : and there I saw the * Market-Jew. — Now known as Marazion. 1 8 Taylor's Western Voyage Island of Scilfyy with other smaller Islands, which are said to be 1 6 or 17 in number. The main Island is held for the Prince, by one Captain (or as some say, a Knight) called Sir yokn Grenville; it is very strong, with a good safe harbour, and as it is reported there, hath a good fleet of ships in it : some do call it a second Algiers, for there cannot a ship or vessel pass by it, but they do make out upon them, whereby they have great riches, with all necessaries : it was eight leagues at least from me, insomuch that I could but only see it dimly, and two ships I perceived that lay at road (perdue) to give notice (as I conjectured) of the appearance of any shipping that sailed within their ken : I did cut my name four inches deep in a small patch of earth amongst the rocks, at the Lands end, and I am sure no man can go thither and set his name or foot, half a foot before me. The same day I returned to one Mr. Jones his house a mile thence, in the farthest western parish of the county of Cornwall, called Sennen^ ; there I had good entertainment all night, by the gentleman*s and his wife's free welcome, which was out of their own courteous disposition ; but chiefly for Mr. Godolphifis sake, to whom at Triminaegue I returned, on the 17th on July, where I rested one day : and on the 18 th day I took my leave, having received seven * Sennen. — Here is the whimsical inn sign of the " First AND Last INN IN England," TO THE Mount. 19 days' hospitality in plenty, with many other courtesies in money and other necessaries which I wanted ; besides he sent his kinsman with me to direct me the way to another Francis Godolphin of Godolphin house. That gentleman is the chief of that noble name ; his house a stately ancient palace, and my cheer and welcome at dinner, most freely bountiful. After dinner he walked with me, where (in my way) I saw his mines of tin, and a house where his work- men were refining and melting of tin, which is a rich commodity. So at my taking leave of him, he put ten shillings in my hand, which came to me in an acceptable time. From thence I jogged three miles further, to a house called Clowance in the parish of Crowan, where dwells one Mr. yohn Sentabin, he is son-in-law to the first Godolphin I came to, whose daughter he married (a virtuous and beautiful gentlewoman) where I took a welcome, a supper and a bed, till the next morning, being July 19th, he sent a man with me eight miles to a sister of his, named Mrs. Gertrude, to her I was so welcome, that after I thought she had been weary of me, she would fain have had me to stay two days more, which I (with thanks refusing) she lent me a mare (and a man to bring her home again) which mare I rode to a town called Penny -come-quick, within a mile of Pendennis Castle, which Castle I looked on afar off, but I durst 20 Taylor's Western Voyage not attempt to offer to go into it, for fears and jealousies might have mistaken me for a spy ; for at all places of Garrison, there is very strict examinations of persons, and at every town's end, in all the sea towns of part of Cornwall, Devonshire, Dorsetshire, and every shire, no traveller could pass without catechizing words : As what is your name, whence came you, where dwell you, whither go you, what is your business, and wherefore came you hither f Now he that cannot answer these particular demands punctually, is to be had before governors, captains, commanders, mayors, or constables, where if a man do chance to be suffered to pass freely from them, yet it is a hazard of the loss of a traveller's liberty by either their unbelief or misprison, and at the best it is a hindrance to a man's journey and loss of time. These considerations made me doubtful to presume to look into Pendennis Castle, or any other garrison or place of defence : this Castle is seated very high, and it stands very defensive for the famous haven of Falmouth (one of the best harbours for shipping in the world) : it was built by King Henry the eight, it is impregnable, and as long as it is well manned, ammunitioned, and victualled, it is thought to be invincible, and there is an end of that point. That day I passed a ferry called King Harry s Passage, (but why it is so named few men know) TO THE Mount. there I lodged at the ferryman's house, and the next morning being 2 1 of Jtdy, I travelled twelve miles to a fisher town called Mevagissey ; that town hath in it two taverns, and six ale-houses, to every one of which I went for lodging, and not any one would harbour me, then I sought for a constable to help me, but no constable was to be found; the people all wondering at me, as if I had been some strange beast, or monster brought out of Africa ; at which most uncivil and barbarous usage, I began to be angry, and I perceiving that nobody cared for my anger, I discreetly went into the house where I first demanded lodging ; where the hostess being very willing to give me the courteous entertainment of Jack Drum^' commanded me very kindly to get me out of doors, for there was no room for me to lodge in. I told her that I would honestly pay for what I took, and that if I could not have a bed, yet I was sure of a house over my head, and that I would not out till the morning : with that a young saucy knave told me that if I would not go out, he would throw me out, at which words my choler grew high, my indignation hot, and my fury firey, so that I arose from a bench, went to my youth, and dared to the combat; whereat the hostess (with fear and trembling) desired me to be quiet, and I should have * Jack Drum. — A phrase signifying ill-treatment, or turning an un- welcome guest out of doors* 22 Taylors Western Voyage a bed, at which words my wrath was appeased, and my ire assuaged. But straightways another storm seemed to ap- pear; for an ancient gentleman came suddenly out of another room (who had heard all the former friendly passages,) and he told me that I should not lodge there, for though I had sought and not found a con- stable, yet I should know that I had found a Justice of Peace before I sought him : and that he would see me safely lodged : I was somewhat amazed at his words, and answered him, let him do his pleasure, for I submitted myself to his disposal. To which he replied, that I should go but half a mile with him to his house, which I did, and there his good wife and he did entertain me courteously, with sure fare and lodging, as might have accommo- dated any gentleman of more worth and better quality than one that had been ten times in degree before me : there I staid the Saturday, and all the Sunday, where I found more Protestant religion in two days, than I had in five years before. The gentleman's name is Mr. John Carew, a gentleman of noble and ancient descent, and a worthy Justice of the Peace in those parts. I was certified, that in that little town of Mevagissey, there are 44 fisher boats, which do fish for pilchards, that every boat hath 6 men, and that every 2 boats have one net between them : they do call the 2 TO THE Mount. 23 boats a seine; so there are 22 seines, and 22 nets : every Cornish bushel is in measure 2 bushels and a half of our measure at London : every 2 boats (or seine) do spend 250 bushels of salt (Cornish mea- sure) to salt pilchards only; every seine do use 100 bogheads to pickle the said pilchards in yearly. So that this one little town, doth spend by God's blessing, and the means of those small fishes, every year. Of salt, 22 times 250 Cornish bushels, which is in the number of our bushels, 14,000,350.'"' Of hogsheads, or cask, 2,200. Of men for 44 boats, 6 men for each, 264. These men with their families (being many in number) are all maintained by pilchard catching ; but this is not all, for there are other greater towns in that county, which do every one of them use the same trade of fishing, with more and greater numbers of men, boats, nets, cask, and much more quantity of salt ; some of the other towns are St. Kevern^ Foye \Fowey\ Looe^ with others which I cannot recite. This infinite number of pilchards, being salted and put up in cask, are brought a main by the Spanish, French, Dutch, Italian, and other mer- chants, and by them they are either eaten or sold, and transported to many other people and nations : * But, ** according to Cocker," 13,750. 24 Taylor*s Western Voyage And now I hope I have filled my readers bellies with pilchards, without cloying or offending their stomachs ; if any one be queasy, or do feel a wambling in the gizzard ; let them call for a cup of sack, drink it, and pay for it. The 23 of yuly, I came to J^oye, and to Looe (or Low) twenty miles ; this town of Looe, is divided in two parts, or two towns together, two mayors, two churches, two governors, and more than two reli- gions ; all that I can say of either of the Looes, is, that there was soldiers and swordmen, strong beer and dagger ale,"' land flesh and sea fish in plenty. On the 24 of yufy, I turned my back upon Cornwall, and went from Looe to Plymouth in Devon- shire, twelve miles : at Plymouth I staid not two hours, the town was too full of suspicions to hold me : there I saw Colonel William Leg, a prisoner in the Tower-house, or Guild-hall, I spake to him (being on the one side of the way in a window, and he on the other) in a low whispering voice that every one might hear what Vv^e said ; I wished him health and liberty, and so left him in thraldom ; there was two stationers did make me very welcome for two or three hours ; their names were Thomas Ratcliff and William Weeks, they gave me smoke and drink in Plymouth, for which I requite them in paper and ink at London, * Dagger Ale. — i.e., strong ale. TO THE Mount. 25 That afternoon I left Plymouth, and went four miles further, to Plympton, and on the morrow (being Saint James his day) I hired a horse forty miles to Exeter, where I was two days entertained at mine own cost, with some charges that Burgomasters and booksellers underwent -^^ I can say little of Exeter but that it is a fair sweet city, a goodly cathedral church (not yet quite spoiled or stabled and it had large suburbs, with long streets, and many fine dwellings till this mad fire of contention turned all to ruins, rubbage, cinders, ashes, and fume. Two hours before Phoebus appeared in our hemisphere, I was on footback from Exeter to Honiton, the 27 of July, there I had a nighfs lodging, and diet of such a homely fashion, as I have no occasion to boast of ; there I hired a horse (which proved to be a blind mare) she had two wens as big as clusters of grapes hung over both her eyes, and five or six wens on her shoulders and flanks, all which beautiful ornaments I could not perceive or see till I had rode the beast four mile, (for I was mounted before the break of day ;) but when I saw the comeliness of the beast, between shame and anger I was almost mad at the rogue that owned her; and being near to a market town called Axmin- ster, I dismounted, and footed eight miles further to * Charges, &c.— i.e., by the purchase of some of his books* 26 Taylor's Western Voyage Broad Winsor in Dorsetshire, where I was better horsed eight miles further to Evershot, and then I paced on foot eight miles further to the town of Sherborne, that day's travel was 31 miles. The 31 of July, I went from Sherborne to Shafts bury, and so to Wilton, and Salisbury, 31 mile : at Wilton I saw the Earl of Pembroke's magnificent and sumptuous building and repairing of such a stately fabric, that for strength, beauty, form, state glazing, painting, gilding, carving, polishing, embellishing and adorning : it may be a palace for the greatest king of Christendom : the springs, and fishponds, the garden, the walks, the rare artificial rocks and fountains, the ponds with fish on the housetop, the strange figures and fashions of the waterworks, the numerous, innumer- able varieties of fruits and flowers ; yea all, and everything that may make an earthly paradise, is there to be seen, felt, heard, or understood, (which because I understand not) I shut up all with this, there is estimable cost, exquisite art and artists, most exceeding good work and workmen, only one thing (that is quite out of fashion almost every- where) is used there, which is good and just payment. From Wilton, to Salisbury two miles^ there I sleeped out the latter end of the whole month of July^ I had a desire to go into the church there TO THE Mount. 27 (one of the fairest in England) but now the plays be down, there was no sights to be seen without money, which though I could have paid, yet for two reasons I would not ; the one was because I had oftentimes seen that church in former times, when God's service was said there, and the second cause why I would not be guilty of Simony, and with corrupting Mammon enter or intrude into the house of God. The first of Augttst, I footed to Andover, fifteen old miles, and eighteen new ones, (of the posts late measuring :) The next day to Morrel Green, 24 miles, the third day to Staines , eighteen miles, and the fourth of August fifteen miles to London : My journey being in all 546 miles, which I went and came in six weeks, and lay still and rested twelve days in several places on week days, besides six Sundays : But all this was nothing to me, being a youth of threescore and ten, with a lame leg and a half, and there is an end of the story. Like to the stone ^/"Sisyphus, I roll From place to place, through weather fair and foul, And yet I every day must wander still To vent my books, and gather friends good will; I must confess this work is frivilous^ And he that (for it) deigns to give a louse^ 8 Taylor's Western Voyage. Doth give as much fort as 'tis worth, I know ; Yet merely merrily I this jaunt did go In imitation of a mighty king, Whose warlike acts, good fellows often sing, The King of France and twenty thousand men, Went up the hill, and so came down again. So I this travel past, with cost and pain. And (as I wisely went) came home again. Finis. A SHORT REL AT I O N OF A LONG lOURNEY Made ROUND or OVALL By encompassing the Principalitie of Wales, from London, through and by the Counties of Mid- dlesex and Buckingham, Berks, Oxonia, Warwick, Stafford, Chester, Flint, Denbigh, Anglesey, Car- narvan, Merioneth, Cardigan, Pembrooke, Caer- marden, Gla^norgan, Monmouth, Glocester, &c. This painfull circuit began on Tuesday the 13 of July last, 1652. and was ended (or both ends brought together) on Tuesday the 7. of September following, being nearly 600 Miles. Whereunto is annexed an Epitome of the Fa- mous History of WALES, Performed by the Riding, Going, Crawling, Running, and Writing of John Taylor, dwel- ling at the Sign of the Poets Head, in Phenix Alley, near the midle of Long Aker or Covent Garden. To all my Honourable, Worship/til, a7td honest Friends, that have sitbscribed to this following Bill; I humbly desire them to read it again, and / consider the contents of it, and content me accordingly. A Taylors Bill, with few or no Items: by or for John Taylor. OW in the seventy fourth year of mine age, I take an English and Welsh Pilgrimage: From London first I bend my course to Chester, And humbly I to all men am requester ; That when I have past over hills and dales, And compast with my travels famous Wales, That when to you that I a book do give, Relating how I did subsist and live, With all my passages both here and there. And of my entertainment everywhere. Write but your names and dwellings in this bill, Fit find you, for the book give what you will. Twelve voyages and journeys I have past. And now my age says this may be my last. My travels story shall most pleasant be To you that read, though painfid unto me. N this Bill I did promise to give to my friends (Subscribers) a true relation of my journey, and entertainment, (which I IV Introduction. have done) and I do give to them more than I promised, which is a brief Chronicle of TVales,^'' which I did not mention in my bill) I know there are four or five sorts of adventurers with me in this wearisome journey, some of them have paid me already (before I went) and their pain is past ; If all the rest do pay me (being near 3000) I am deceived ; If none do pay me I am miserably co- zened ; For those that have paid, or can and will pay, I thank them ; for such as would if they could or will when they can, I wish them ability to perform their wills for their own sakes, and mine both : But for those that are able to reward me and will not, I will not curse them, though I fear they are almost past praying for. ♦Chronicles of Wales. — We have not deemed it necessary to reprint '^Cambria Britannica : or, a Short Ahhreviation of the History and Chronicles of Wales, by John Taylor," which is by no means Tayloric, and merely appended to the book as a sort of "make-weight," and to compensate the " near 3000 " subscribers for the very meagre description of a journey of 600 miles. It is but a lengthy extract from Lloyd's Historic of Cambria now called Wales, translated into English, corrected, augmented and continued by David Powell, D.D., London 1584. To which Taylor adds : " Those who are desirous to read more largely, let them mahe use of their larger Booh: But for such as love brevity, or cheapness, let them read this which followeth.'' A SHORT RELATION OF A LONG JOURNEY, &c. TRA VELLER that loves to see strange lands, May be a man or not a man of's hands: But yet 'tis very requisite and meet, He should be furnish! d with good brains and feet ; For he that wants legs, feet, and brains, and wit, To be a traveller is most unfit: And sitch am I by age of strength bereft. With one right leg, and one laine left leg left. Beggars on their backs their brats do rear ; But I my issue in my leg do bear: I dress it often and impatiently It lies and cries not, though it make me cry; Yet I dare challenge Scottish Jock or Jackey, Or any light-heeVd nimble footed lacquey, To travel such a jaunt as I have done. With th! right leg going, and the left leg run; 2 A Short Relation of a Or if I please, the case Fll alter so, To make the worst leg run, the best to go. And sure my heart was stout, men may suppose. To venture travel with such legs as those. But there be some few that do understand, ' Tis merry walking with a horse in hand. Such was my lot, I had a stately courser, None coarser quality d, and for a worser. There s neither Halifax, or Hull, nor Hell, That for good parts my horse can parallel; He was a beast, had heated been and cheated, Too much hard over rid and under meated, That he as gaunt as any greyhound waSy And for a horses skeleton might pass : You might have told his ribs, he was so thin. And seen his heart and guts, but for his skin ; He was not pursy foggy, cloyd with grease. And like his rider lovd rest, ease, and peace : Dun was, and is the dumb beast, and was done, E're I begun, or he with me begun. He had a black list, from the mane to tail, Which is a colour that doth seldom fail : To change of paces he had been inurd. But yet not one f endure, or be endurd; His trot would fling a dagger out dth sheath. Or jolt a man to death, or out of breath. His ambling was invisible to me. From such smooth easy garbs his feet were free : Long Journey, &c. 3 His common pace in sunshine or in shower y Was ( as he pleas d) about two mile an hour, I never yet could put him in a sweaty For he was never free^ but at his meat. Thus John upon Dun s back^ were both Dun John, And thus the tedious way we wandered on. Now to proceed in otder dtdy^ truly ^ I London left the thirteenth day of July ; The ways as fair as man could well desire^ 'Cause I had none to draw Dun out o'th mire : / fifteen miles ( to Rislip ) that day wenty Baited at Edgworth, to give Dun content ; There my acquaintancCy of good fame and worthy Did welcome me : the next day I set forthy With boots, sans, spurs with whipy and switch of birchy I got on twenty miles to S token Church : The fifteenth dayy St. Swithin, I and Dun, Did shuffle sixteen miles to Abingdon ; There till the Tuesday following I abodcy From thence sixteen miles to great Tue rodey There at the Swan mine host was free and kindy He had but one eye, f other side was blind ; But surely he a right good-fellow waSy And there one night my Dun did eat good grass. On July's twenty one from Tue / went. And unto Warwick straight my course I bent. 4 A Short Relation of a There did I find aito titer sign dth Swan, Mine hostess kind, mine host a Gentile man, And for your love to me, good Master Venner, With humble thanks I am yottr praises penner. My gratitude to Master Jacob Harmer, His drapers shop cotdd never make me warmer, Then high and mighty Warwick's drink did there. It made my brains to caper and career, It was of such invincible strong force. To knock me ( in five miles ) twice from my horse : And sure I think the drink was certainly Infused with the conquring ghost of Guy. On July's two and twentieth day I came Unto an aiicient house calUd Hunningham, There were two ladies of good worth and fame, Whom for some reasons I forbear to name : Their son and grandson (John) /'// not forget. He s nobly minded as a baronet ; Four days they kept me with exceeding cheer. And gave me silver because travels dear. From thence my jotirney 5 miles I pursue, To Coventry, most famous for true blue ; There the fair cross of ancient hi^h renown Stands firm, though other crosses all are down. ' Tis a dry city, and dry let it be, ' Twas not made dryer one small drop for me : Like a chameleon there I break my fast, Long Journey, &c. 5 And thence I twenty miles to Lichfield past ; There at the George / took my lodging up, I well was lodgd, and well did step and ctip, When there by chance, I cast my wandering eye on The ruind chttrch, with grief I thottght on Sion : / sigJid to see that sad conftcsion, Like th! Hebrews by the brook ^t/ Babylon. On July's twenty seventh I rode alone Fidl sixteen miles tmto a town called Stone. Next day to Nantwich sixteen long miles more, From thence to Chester near the Cambrian shore : There was my welcome in such noble fashion, Of which in prose Til make some brief relation. Y lodging at Chester was in the Watergate- street, at the sign of the Feathers, I lay on a feather bed, and in the same house I met with two brothers of mine acquaintance thirty years, they brought me to the chamber of a reverend Italian physician, named Vincent Lancelles, he was more than 80 years of age, yet of a very able body, and vigorous constitution. The young mens names were Thomas Morrine and Francis Morrine, the people were pleased (out of their ignorance, or in small wit) to call the old gentleman a mountebank; but I am sure he was deservedly well reputed and reported of, for many maladies and diseases which he cured, whereof divers were judged incurable. He 6 A Short Relation of a helped such as were grieved for three several con- siderations — First, He cured the rich, for as much as he could get. Secondly, He healed the meaner sort for what they could spare, or were willing to part withal. Thirdly, He cured the poor for God's sake, and gave them money and other relief, as I myself (with thankful experience) must ever acknowledge : For he looked upon my lame leg, and applied such medicine, as did not only ease me, but I am in hope will cure me, the grief being nothing but a blast of lightning and thunder, or planet stroke, which I re- ceived nine years past at Oxfo7^d. For a further courtesy, when I was taking my leave of Chester, I demanded what I had to pay for lodging, diet, and horse-meat, mine host said, that all was fully paid and satisfied by the good old physi- cian. My humble thanks remembered to Captain Vincent Corbet, but more especially to Captain ^ohn Whitworth at Chester. On Friday, the 30 of Jtily, I rode (and footed it) ten miles to Flint (which is the shire town of Flintshire) and surely war hath made it miserable, the sometimes famous Castle there, in which Richard the Second of that name, King of England, was sur- prised by Henry of Bolingbroke, is n»jw almost buried in it's own ruins, and the town is so spoiled, Long Journey, &c. 7 that it may truly be said of it, that they never had any market (in the memory of man) they have no saddler, tailor, weaver, brewer, baker, botcher, or button-maker ; they have not so much as a sign of an ale-house, so that I was doubtful of a lodging, but (by good hap) I happened into the house of one Mr. Edward Griffith, where I had good meat and lodg- ing for me and my dumb Dzm beast, for very reason- able consideration, and this (methinks) is a pitiful description of a shire town. Saturday, the last of Jttly, I left Flint, and went three miles to Holy -well, of which place I must speak somewhat materially. About the length of a furlong, down a very steep hill, is a well (full of wonder and admiration), it comes from a spring not far from Rhuddlan Castle ; it is, and hath been many hundred years, known by the name of Holy-well, but it is more commonly and of most antiquity called Saint Winifreds Well, in memory of the pious and chaste Virgin Winifred, who was there beheaded for refusing to yield her chastity to the furious lust of a Pagan Prince ; in that very place where her blood was shed, this spring sprang up ; from it doth issue so forcible a stream, that within a hundred yards of it, it drives certain mills, and some do say that nine corn mills and fulling mills are driven with the stream of that spring : It hath a fair chapel erected over it called Saint Winifreds Chapel, which 8 A Short Relation of a is now much defaced by the injury of these late wars. The well is compassed about with a fine wall of free stone, the wall hath eight angles or corners, and at every angle is a fair stone pillar, whereon the west end of the chapel is supported. In two several places of the wall, there are neat stone stairs to go into the water that comes from the well, for it is to be noted that the well itself doth continually work and bubble with extreme violence, like a boiling cauldron or furnace, and within the wall, or into the well very few do enter : The water is crystalline, sweet and medicinable, it is frequented daily by many people of rich and poor, of all diseases, amongst which great store of folks are cured, divers are eased, but none made the worse. The hill descending is plentifully furnished (on both sides of the way) with beggars of all ages, sexes, conditions, sorts, and sizes, many of them are impotent, but all are impudent, and richly embroi- dered all over with such hexameter prouded ermins (or vermin) as are called lice of England, Monday, the second of August, when the day begun, I mounted my Dun, having hired a little boy (to direct me in the way) that could speak no English, and for lack of an interpreter, we travelled speechless eight miles, to Rhuddlan, where is an old wind and war-shaken castle ; from that town, after my horse, and the boy, and myself had dined with Long Journey, &c. 9 hay, oats, and bar raw causs'^ we horsed and footed it twelve miles further, to a fine strong walled town, named Aberconway ; there I lodged at the house of one Mr. Spencer (an English man) he is post-master there, and there my entertainment was good, and my reckoning reasonable : there is a good defensive castle which I would have seen, but because there was a garrison, I was loath to give occasion of offence, or be much inquisitive. The next day when the clock stroke two and four, I mounted Dun, Dun mounted Penmaen Mawr ; And if I do not take my aim amiss, That lofty mountain seems the skies to kiss : But there are other hills accounted higher, Whose lofty tops I had no mind f aspire : As Snowdon, and the tall Plinlymmon, Which I no stomach had to tread tcpon. Merioneth Mountains, and Shire Cardigan To travel over, will tire horse and man: I, to Beaumaris came that day and dind. Where I the good Lord Buckley, thotcght to find: But he to speak with me had no intent. Dry I came into 's house, dry out I went. I left Beaumaris, and to Bangor tracd it, Thers a brave Church, but Time and War defacd it: For love and money I was welcome thither, ' Tis merry meeting when they come together. ♦Bara'r Caus.— i.e., bread and cheese. lo A Short Relation of a Thus having travelled from Aberconway X,o Beau- maris and to Bangor, Tuesday 3 August, which in all they are pleased to call 14 miles, but most of the Welsh miles are large London measure, not any one of them but hath a hand breadth or small cantle at each end, by which means, what they want in broadness, they have it in length ; besides the ascending and descending almost impassable mountains, and break- neck stony ways, doth make such travellers as my- self judge that they were no misers in measuring their miles ; besides, the land is coarser than it is in most parts about London, which makes them to afford the larger measure, for coarse broadcloth is not at the rate of velvet or satin. Wednesday the 4. of August I rode 8 miles from Bangor to Caernarvon, where I thought to have seen a Town and a Castle, or a Castle and a Town ; but I saw both to be one, and one to be both ; for indeed a man can hardly divide them in judgment or apprehension ; and I have seen many gallant fabrics and fortifications, but for compact- ness and completeness of Caernarvon, I never yet saw a parallel. And it is by Art and Nature so fitted and seated, that it stands impregnable, & if it be well manned, victualled, and ammunitioned, it is invincible, except fraud or famine do assault, or conspire against it. Long Journey, &c. II I was 5. hours in Caernarvon, and when I thought that I had taken my leave for ever of it, then was I merely deceived ; for when I was a mile on my way, a trooper came galloping after me, and enforced me back to be examined by Colonel Thomas Mason, (the governor there) who after a few words, when he heard my name, and knew my occasions, he used me so respectively and bounti- fully, that (at his charge) I stayed all night, and by the means of him, and one Mr. Lloyd, (a Justice of Peace there) I was furnished with a guide, and something else to bear charges for one weeks travel; for which courtesies, if I were not thankful, I were worth the hanging for being ungrateful. The 5 of August I went 12 miles to a place called Climenie, where the noble Sir John Owen did, with liberal welcome, entertain me. The 6 day I rode to a town called Harlech^ which stands on a high barren mountain, very uneasy for the ascending into, by reason of the steep and uneven stony way; this town had neither hay, grass, oats, or any relief for a horse ; there stands a strong Castle, but the town is all spoiled, and almost in- habitable by the late lamentable troubles. So I left that town (for fear of starving my horse) and came to a place called Barmouth (12 miles that day, as narrow as 20). That place was so plentifully furnished with want of provision, that it 12 A Short Relation of a was able to famish icq men and horses. I procured a brace of boys to go two miles to cut grass for my Dun, for which I gave them two groats ; for myself and guide, I purchased a hen boiled with bacon, as yellow as the cowslip, or gold noble. My coarse lodging there was at the homely house of one yokn Thomson, a Lancashire Englishman. Saturday, the 7 of August, I horsed, footed, (and crawling upon all 4) 10 slender miles to Aberdovey, which was the last lodging that I had in Merionethshire, where was the best entertainment for men, but almost as bad as the worst for horses in all Merionethshire. August 9 I gat into Cardiganshire, to a miser- able market town called Aberystwith, where, before the late troubles, there stood a strong Castle, which being blown up, fell down, and many fair houses (with a defensible thick wall about the town) are transformed confused into heaps of unnecessary rubbidge ; within four miles of this town are the silver mines, which were honorable and profitable, as long as my good friend Thomas Bushell Esquire, had the managing of them, who was most industrious in the work, and withal by his noble demeanour, and affable deportment, deservedly gained the general love and affection of all the country, of all degrees of people : but since he hath left that important employment, the mines are neglected. Long Journey, &c. 13 From Aberystwith, I went to the house of Sir Richard Price, knight and baronet, where my enter- tainment was freely welcome, with some expression of further courtesies at my departure, for which I humbly thank the noble knight, not forgetting my grateful remembrance to Mr. Thomas Evans there : that whole days journey being 9. miles. Tuesday, the 10 of August, having hired a • guide, for I that knew neither the intricate ways, nor could speak any of the language, was necessitated to have guides from place to place, and it being harvest time, I was forced to pay exceeding dear for guiding, so that some days I paid 2s., sometimes 3s., besides bearing their charges of meat and drink, and lodg- ing ; for it is to be understood that those kind of labouring people had rather reap hard all the day for sixpence, than to go ten or twelve miles easily on foot for two shillings. That day, after sixteen miles travel, I came to the house of an ancient worthy and hospitable gentleman, named Sir Walter Lloyd, he was noble in bountiful house-keeping, and in his generosity, caused his horse to be saddled, and the next day he rode three miles to Conway, and showed me the way to Caermarthen, which they do call 18 small miles, but I had rather ride 30 of such miles as are in many parts of England ; the way continually hilly, or mountainous and stony, insomuch that I was forced to alight and walk 30 times, and when the sun 9 14 A Short Relation of a was near setting, I having four long miles to go, and knew no part of the way, was resolved to take my lodging in a reek of oats in the field, to which pur- pose, as I rode out of the stony way towards my field-chamber, my horse and I found a softer bed, for we were both in a bog, or quagmire, and at that time I had much ado to draw myself out of the dirt, or my poor weary Dun out of the mire. I being in this hard strait, having night (of God's sending,) owl-light to guide me, no tongue to ask a question, the way unknown, or uneven, I held it my best course to grope in the hard stony way again, which having found, (after a quarter of an hours melancholy paces) a horseman of Wales, that could speak English, overtook me and brought me to Caermarthen, where I found good and free enter- tainment at the house of one Mistress Oakley. Caer mar then, shire town oiCaermarthenshire, is a good large town, with a defencible strong Castle, and a reasonable haven for small barks and boats, which formerly was for the use of good ships, but now it is much impedimented with shelves, sands, and other annoyances : it is said that Merlin the prophet was born there ; it is one of the plentifulest towns that ever I set foot in, for very fair eggs are cheaper than small pears ; for, as near as I can remember, I will set down at what rates victuals was there. Long Journey, &c. iS Butter as good as the world affords, two pence halfpenny, or three pence the pound. A salmon two foot and a half long, twelve pence. Beef, three half pence the pound. Oysters, a penny hundred. Eggs, twelve for a penny. Pears, six for a penny. And all manner of fish and flesh at such low prices, that a little money will buy much, for there is nothing scarce, dear, or hard to come by, but tobacco pipes. My humble thanks to the Governor there, to William Gwyjm of Taliaris, Esquire; to Sir Henry Vaughan ; and to all the rest, with the good woman mine hostess. Concerning Pembrokeshire^ the people do speak English in it most generally, and therefore they call it little England beyond Wales, it being the farthest south and west county in the whole principality. The shire town, Pembroke, hath been in better estate, for as it is now, some houses down, some standing, and many without inhabitants ; the Castle there hath been strong, large, stately, and impregnable, able to hold out any enemy, except hunger, it being founded upon a lofty rock, gives a brave prospect a far off. Tenby town and Castle being somewhat near, or eight miles from it, seems to be more useful and 1 6 A Short Relation of a considerable. My thanks to Mistress Powell at the Hart there. Tenby hath a good Castle and a Haven, but in respect of Milford Haven, all the havens under the heavens are inconsiderable, for it is of such length, breadth, and depth that i,ooo ships may ride safely in it in all weathers, and by reason of the hills that do enclose it, and the windings and turnings of the Haven from one point of land to another, it it con- jectured that i,5oo ships may ride there, and not scarce one of them can see another. The Haven hath in it i6 creeks, 5 bays, and 13 roads, of large capacity, and all these are known by several names. The goodly Church of St. Davids hath been forced lately to put off the dull and heavy coat of peaceful lead, which was metamorphosed into warlike bullets. In that church lies interred Edmund Earl of Rich- mond, father to King Henry the Seventh, for whose sake the grandson (K. Henry the Eight) did spare it from defacing, when he spared not much that belonged to the church. Thus having gone and ridden many miles, with too many turning and winding mountains, stony turning ways, forward, backward, sideways, circular, and semicircular, upon the 1 7. of A ugust I rode to the house of the right Honorable, Richard Vaughan Earl of Karbery, at a place called Golden Grove; Long Journey, &c. 17 and surely that house, with the fair fields, woods, walks, and plesant situation, may not only be rightly called the Golden Grove, but it may without fiction be justly styled the Cambrian Paradise, and Elysium of Wales ; but that which graced it totally, was the nobleness, and affable presence and deportment of the Earl, with his fair and virtuous new married Countess the beautiful Lady Alice, or Alicia, daughter to the Right Honourable the late Earl of Bridgwater, deceased : I humbly thank them both, for they were pleased to honour me so much, that I supped with them, at which time a gen- tleman came in, who being sat, did relate a strange discourse of a violent rain which fell on the mountains in part of Radnorshire, and into Glamorganshire ; the story was, as near as I can remember, as followeth : That on Saturday the 17 of July last, 1652, there fell a sudden shower of rain in the counties aforesaid, as if an ocean had flowed from the clouds to overwhelm and drown the mountains ; it poured down with such violent impetuosity that it tumbled down divers houses of stone that stood in the way of it ; it drowned many cattle and sheep, bore all before it as it ran, therefore a poor man with his son and daughter forsook their house, and the father and son climbed up into a tree for their safety ; in the mean time the merciless waters took hold of the 1 8 A Short Relation of a poor maid, and most furiously bare her away down between two mountains, rolling and hurling her against many great stones, till at last it threw her near the side of the stream, and her hair and hair- lace being loose, it catched hold of a stump of an old thorn bush, by which means she was stayed, being almost dead ; but as she lay in this misery she saw a sad and lamentable sight, for the water had fiercely unrooted the tree, and bore it down the stream with her father and brother, who were both unfortunately drowned ; the maid, as I was certified, is like to live and recover. My humble thanks to the good young hopeful Lord Vaughan, and to all the rest of the noble olive branches of that most worthy tree of honour, their father, not omitting or yet forgetting my gratitude to Mr. Steward there, with all the rest of the gentle- men and servants attendant, with my love to Mr. Thomas Ryves, unknown, and so Golden Grove farewell. The 1 8 of ^ ugust I hired a guide who brought me to Swansea (i6 well stretch'd Welsh mountainous miles), where I was cordially welcome to an ancient worthy gentleman, Walter Thomas, Esquire, for whose love and liberality I am much obliged to him and the good gentlewoman his wife ; he staid me till the next day after dinner, and then sent his man with me a mile to his sons house, named William Long Journey, &c. 19 Thomas Esquire : There, as soon as I had re- warded my guide he slipped from me, leaving me to the mercy of the house, where I found neither mercy nor manners ; for the good gentleman and his wife were both rode from home ; and though they were people old enough, and big enough, yet there was not one kind enough, or good enough to do me least kind of courtesy or friendship ; they did not so much as bid me come into the house, or offer me a cup of drink ; they all scornfully wondered at me, like so many buzzards and woodcocks about an owl, there was a shotten thin sculled shadow brained simpleton fellow, that answered me, that he was a stranger there, but I believed him not, by reason of his familiarity with the rest of the folks, there was also a single-souled gentlewoman, of the last edition, who would vouchsafe me not one poor glance of her eye-beams, to whom I said as followeth. Fair gentlewoman, I was sent hither by the father of the gentleman of this house, to whom I have a letter from a gentleman of his familiar ac- quaintance ; I am sure that the owner of this place is famed and reported to be a man endowed with all affability and courtesy to strangers as is every way accommodating to a gentleman of worth and quality ; and that if I were but a mere stranger to him, yet his generosity would not suffer me to be harbourless, but by reason of his fathers sending his servant with 20 A Short Relation of a me, and a friends letter, I said that if Mr. Thomas had been at home I should be better entertained. To which Mrs. Fttmpkins^ looking scornfully askew over her shoulders, answered me with (zV may be so), then most uncourteous Mistress, quoth I, I doubt I must be necessitated to take up my lodging in the field, to which the said ungentle gentlewoman (with her posterior, or but end towards me) gave me a final answer, that I might if I would. Whereupon I was enraged and mounted my Dzm, and in a friendly manner I took my leave, saying, that I would wander further and try my for- tune, and that if my stay at that house, that night, would save either Mr. Shallow-pate, or Mrs. Jullock from hanging, that I would rather lie, and venture all hazards that are incident to horse, man, or tra- veller, than to be beholding to such unmannerly mongrels. Thus desperately I shaked them off, that would not take me on, and riding I know not whither, with a wide wild heath under me, and a wider firmament above me. I road at adventure, betwixt light and darkness, about a mile, when luckily a gentleman overtook me, and after a little talk of my distress and travel, he bade me be of good cheer, for he would bring me to a lodging and entertainment ; in which promise he was better than his word, for he brought me to a pretty market town called Neath Long Journey, &c. 21 where he spent his money upon me ; for which kindness I thank him. But one doctor (as they call him) Rice Jo7tes, (or doctor Merryman) came and supped with me, and very kindly paid all the reckoning. That days journey being but 6 miles sterling. The 19. of Augttst I hired a guide for 3s. (16 miles) to a place called Penlline, where sometime stood a strong castle, which is now ruined ; adjoining to it, or in the place of it, is a fair house, belonging to Anthony Turberville Esquire, where although the Gentleman was from home, the good gentle- woman, his wife, did with hospitable and noble kindness bid me welcome. Friday, the 20. of August, I rode a mile to an ancient town, named Cowbridge, from whence I scrambled two miles further to Llantrisant, where the noble gentleman Sir John Aubrey, and his virtuous lady kept me three days, in the mean space I rode two miles to the house of the ancient and honorable Knight, Sir Thomas Lewis at Pemnark, to whom and his good lady, I humbly dedicate my gratitude : The same day after dinner, I returned back to Llantrisant, which was to me a second Golden Grove or Welsh Paradise, for building, situation, wholesome air, pleasure and plenty, for my free entertainment there, with the noble expression of the gentleman's bounty at my departure; I 22 A Short Relation of a heartily do wish to him and his, with all the rest of my honorable and noble, worshipful and friendly benefactors, true peace and happiness, internal, external, and eternal. Monday, the 23. of Attgust, I rode eight miles to the good town of Cardiff, where I was welcome to Mr. Aaron Price the Town Clerk there, with whom I dined, at his cost and my peril, after dinner he directed me two miles further, to a place called Llanrumney where a right true bred generous gen- tleman, Thomas Morgan Esquire, gave me such loving and liberal entertainment, for which I cannot be so thankful as the merit of it requires. Tuesday, being both Saint Bartholowews Day, my Birth day, the 24, of the month, and the very next day before Wednesday, I arose betimes, and travelled to a town called Newport, and then from thence to Caerleon, and lastly to Usk, in all 15 well measured Welsh Monmouthshire miles : at Usk I lodged at an inn, the house of one Master Powell. The 25. of August I rode but 12 miles, by an unlooked for accident, I found Bartholomew fair at Monmouth^ a hundred miles from Smithfield ; there I stayed two nights upon the large reckoning of nothing to pay, for which I humbly thank my hospitable host, and hostess, Master Reigald Rowse and his good wife. *Qy., Landaff. Long Journey, &c. 23 Monmouth, the shire town of Monmouthshire, was the last Welsh ground that I left behind me ; Attgust 27. I came to Gloucester, were though I was born there, very few did know me ; I was almost as ignorant as he that knew no body : my lodging there was at the sign of the George, at the house of my namesake, Master John Taylor, from whence on Saturday the 28. I rode 16. miles to Barnsley. Of all the places in England and Wales that I have travelled to, this village of Barnsley doth most strikingly observe the Lords day on Sunday, for little children are not suffered to walk or play ; and two women who had been at church both before and after noon, did but walk into the fields for their recreation, and they were put to their choice, either to pay sixpence apiece (for profane walking), or to be laid one hour in the stocks ; and the peevish wilful women (though they were able enough to pay), to save their money and jest out the matter, lay both by their heels merrily one hour. There is no such zeal in many places and parishes in Wales ; for they have neither service, prayer, sermon, minister, or preacher, nor any church door opened at all, so that people do exercise and edify in the churchyard at the lawful and laudable games of trap, cat, stool-ball, racket, &c., on Sundays. ^4 A Short Relation, &c. From Barnsley on Monday, the 30 of August, I rode 30 miles to Abingdon, from thence, &c., to London, where I brought both ends together on Tuesday, the 7 of September. Those that are desirous to know more of Wales let them either travel for it as I have done, or read Mr. Camdens Britannia, or Mr. Speeds laborious history, and their geographical maps and descrip- tions will give them more ample, or contenting satisfaction. THE CERTAIN TRAVAI LES OF AN UNCERTAIN JOURNEY, Begun on Tuesday the 9. of August, and ended on Saturday the 3. of September following, i653. Wherein the Readers may take notice, that the Authors purpose was to Travell, and Write this following Relation, for no other intent or purpose, but to pleasure himself, and to please his Friends in the first place. By John Taylor^ at the Signe of the Poets Head, in Phoenix Alley, near the Globe Tavern in the middle of Long Acre, nigh the Covent-Garden. Those twelve following lines I gave to divers Gentlemen and Friends, before I went, and as they have kindly subscribed to my Bill, I do kumbly expect their courteous acceptation of this Booke, A merry Bill of an uncertain Journey, to be per- formed by John Taylor, by Land, with his Aqua Musa, O cill '^fiy Friends, and courteous Gentlemen, Kjtow, that my journey is, I know not when . U7ito the parts I go. I know 7iot where, Or of my Entertainment far or near ; Thus neither knowing when, or where, or whether, Begun, or done, or both ends brotight together. When I this tmknown Walk have put in print, Each man to s pocket, put your fingers int. And, for my Book then give me what you list, To which end, to this Bill take pen in fist. And write your names and habitations down] ril find you when again I come to Town. I The certainty of the imcertai7i Travels John Taylor, performed in year 1653. I S laudable to read well pen'd Relations, Of foreign Countries, and their situations. That by the judgment of the eye and brain Some knowledge to discourse we may attain, For Histories, and learn'd Cosmographers ; And diligent acute Geographers ; One hath surveyed celestial lofty spheres, How all the Planets run in their careers ; The stars, the signs, and every influence In every Heavenly Orbs circumference, And were it not for high Astronomy (Whose lofty painful steps have scal'd the sky) For times and seasons we might grope and seek, Not knowing years, or quarters, month or week, Or hours, or minutes, nor the Sabbath day, Nor when to eat, or sleep or debts to pay. Millions of people would this knowledge lack Except directed from the Almanack. 2 The Ceftain Travels Thus Art, (with pains and travel of the Mind) Taught mean capacities, these things to find. He travels far that goes beyond the Moon, Or thinks this skill may be attained soon, Their overweening thoughts fly high and quick But such mad fools are only lunatic. Geographers have travel'd land and seas Each Coast, and opposite the Antipodes ; And the description of all lands and parts Described are, in several Maps and Charts. The Sun and Moon have seldom shew'd their faces On any Empire, Kingdom, place, or places, Which Travellers have not view'd and survey'd And by rare Geographique Art displayed By either sea or land, by night or day. Geography hath chalk'd us out the way : That with Maps, Compass and indifferent weather True men or Thieves may travel any whither. And thus through thick and thin, ways hard or soft, Thousand and thousand miles I traveled oft. Some men do travel in their contemplations. In reading Histories and strange Relations: Some few do travel in the ways Divine, Some wander wildly with the Muses nine ; For every man would be a Poet gladly. Although he write and Rhyme, but badly madly. Sometimes the wit and tongues do most unfit Travel when tongues do run before the wit of an Uncertain yourney. 3 But if they both keep company together, Dehght and profit is in both, or either. Discretion gravely goes a gentle pace, When speech, a gallop, runs a heedless race : Mans earthly portion's travel, pain, and care, (Of which I make a shift to get my share.) Some do disdain, and hold it in high scorn To know thatched cottages where they were born, Some cross the sea to see strange lands unknown And here, like strangers, do not know their own. Their own, 'tis fit work for a golden pen To write the names down of such knowing men ; Should each one know and have his own, 'twere rare Right owners would be rich, and knaves stark bare, He's counted wise, with the Italians ; That knows his own wife from another mans. But he's more wise that knows himself to be Frail, mortal, and a map of Misery. But wisest he, that patient takes his lot. And use the world as if he used it not. Some seem to know most, yet know almost nothing. For man, in knowledge, is a very slow thing. Nosce teipsum, Know thyself, and then Each one will know himself the worst of men. Many of foreign travels boast and vaunt. When they, of England, are most ignorant. But yearly I survey my Country Native, 4 The Certain Travels And, 'mongst 6, cases, live upon the Dative. I travel hard, and for my lifes supply, I every year receive a Subsidy. (Or else to come more near unto the sense) 'Tis fit to call it a Benevolence. Thus (travelling) a toiling trade I drive. By reason of mine age, near seventy five : It is my earthly portion and my lot, (The Proverb says. Need makes the old wife trot.) Seven times at sea I serv'd Elizabeth, And 2. Kings forty five years, until death Of both my Royal Masters quite bereft me, That nothing now but age and want is left me. This makes me travel, and my friends to try, Else I might (like my fellows) starve and die, Had the last State, had consciences so tender To think on Oxford siege, with that surrender, Had they kept Articles and Covenants, In some sort, then they had reliev'd our wants, But they were in the land of Promise born Perform'd, and paid as nothing, but their scorn, Chamelion like we had Air, Words, and Windy With these three empty dishes oft we din'd. And with light Suppers, and such breaking Fast, With meagre Famine, many breath'd their last. We ne'er bare arms, but household servants menial We waited, if 'twere sin, it was but venial. These thirteen years no wages I could get, of an Uncertain jfourney. 5 Which makes me thus to try my friends and wit Unto the Kings Revenues, great Committee We oft Petitioned, and implored their pity ; And first and last, we gave Petitions plenty, I'm sure in number, near two hundred twenty. Two thousand Books and Bills then printed were, Wherein our woes and wants we did declare : Lord Fairfax was himself Lord General then, He pitied us (poor miserable men :) And he in person, more than one time went And told our griefs unto the Parliament, Besides, for us, to them he Letters wrote, For all which, only, promises we got, I will not curse those men, but this I say, If need and want afflict them, I do pray They may be comforted, and fed, and clad With promises, as we from them have had. H' year sixteen hundred fifty, with 3. added Old Tib my Mare and I, a Journey gadded : I London left, the 9. day I remember Of August, near 3 weeks before September. In 4. hours riding Post I got to Croydon And so hath many a Man, and many a boy done, There was the George a horseback day and night, And there I, from my mares back did alight. 6 The Certain Travels At Water there wine was, but that's a Riddle, At Croydon, yoM may know both ends a middle. To Mitcham, from my way full 3. miles wide, A Gentleman, I thank him, was my guide. Holland my sheets, and Holland was mine Host, My entertainment good for little cost. August the tenth, my bonny Beast and I, From Surrey travelled to South Saxony, Now called Sussex, where to Billingshurst Six days I felt no hunger, cold, or thirst. There at a sign, and no sign, but a Frame, 'Twas the Kings arms, but shattering shot and flame Did beat them down, as useless, of small stead. For arms are of no use without a Head. Mine Host was mighty good, and great withal And amongst Hosts, may be a General, He's friendly, courteous, although big and burly, A right good fellow, no way proud or surly, Six nights at Billingshurst I freely staid And all the charge of mare and man was paid By a Gentleman, to name whom I'll refrain, Whose love, my thankful mind still retain. Thus in one week I rode Post 30 mile. And neither man or mare tired all that while. A Reverend Preacher preached on Sunday twice Directing souls to th' Heavenly Paradise, And if we could but do as he did say. of an Uncertain Journey. 1 His Doctrine told us all the ready way. Thus Billingshtirst thy bounty I extol Thou feastest me in body and in soul, There was rare Music, and sweet gentle Airs For undeserved favours, / am theirs. My love to Mr. Fist and to mine Host, But love and thanks T. H. deserveth most, From Billingskurst, August the sixteenth day I took my leave before I took my way. The way indifferent good, the welkin smiles I rode to Petwortk, 7 good Sussex miles To set forth Petwortk, its worth more worth is Than I am worth, or worthy ; but know this Northttmberland the Noble, there doth dwell Whose good housekeeping, few Lords parallel There Honourable bounty is expressed With daily Charity to th' poor distressed, I speak not this for any thing I got Of that great Lord, I felt or saw him not For had I seen him, my belief is such I should have felt and found his bounties touch, But I, for my part, never was so rude. To flatter, fawn, or basely to intrude. Yet I declare him liberal. Honourable, And there I din'd well, at his Stewards Table, Thanks Mr. Williams there, the Cook exact By his good friendship there, I nothing lack'd 8 TJic Certain Travels Thanks to my Hostess kind, good Mrs. Martin Who welcom'd me with good white wine a quart in And last of all, but not of all the least, I was kind Mr. Barnards costly Guest To me he shew'd his bounty from the Mint For which I gave him here my thanks in Print He pay'd the chinque, and freely gave me drink And I return my gratitude with Ink Atcgtist the 1 8 twelve long miles to Steyning I rode, and nothing saw there worth the Kenning But that mine Host there was a jovial Wight My Hostess fat and fair ; a goodly sight : The Sign the Chequer, eighteen pence to pay My Mare eat mortal meat, good Oats and Hay Twelve miles from Steyning I jog'd on to Lewes And there I found no Beggars, Scolds, or Shrews Lewes hath no Bailiff, Mayor, or Magistrate For every one there lives in quiet state : They quarrel not for wagging of a straw For each man is unto himself a Law They need no bridle (like the Horse or Mule) Where every one himself can wisely rule At the terrestial Star^ (a glist'ring Sign) ^The Star is still one of tlie principal inns in the good old fashioned to^^^l of Lewes. The cellar is a very antique vaulted apartment, in which, according to tradition, were imprisoned the "Sussex Martrys," who were afterwards brought to the stake and burnt in front of the house during the Marian persecutions. Several relics in connection with the circumstance, and of an Uncertain Journey. I lodg'd, and found good Diet, and good Wine Mine Host and Hostess Courteous, free, and kind, And there I sip'd and sup'd but seldom din'd : Lewes is an ancient Town, as may be seen In Camden, page three hundred and thirteen : Twelve men they choose, the most substantialest Most rich and wise, to govern all the rest And oiit of that discreet and honest dozen Two (as it were) high Constables are chosen These have no power themselves to hang or draw Or on offenders to inflict the Law But to a Justice of the Peace, or Coram They bring the parties, and their cause before 'em, From Friday unto Friday I did stay But in the mean time I did take my way Five miles to Tarring^ where my old friend there The Parson welcom'd me with Country cheer His name is John, or honest Master Rice of the period, are shown to the curious in such matters, on application being made fee-in-haud to *' Boots," who is craftily and well read-up in Foxe and **The whole army of Martrys." "In the reign of Queen Mary, Lewes, as the county town, was the scene of many of those holocausts which disgraced her times. Sixteen martyrs to the cause of the Reformation were burnt in the forum of Lewes — the local Smithfield, opposite the Star inn — between 1555 and 1557, the last * ' burnt-offering to a good conscience " being the well-known iron- master, Richard Woodman, and nine others, five of whom were women." M. A. Lower^s History of Sussex. ^Tarring, i.e., Tarring Neville, or East Tarring, to distinguish it from Tarring Peverell or West Tarring in the Western Division of the County, 2 miles W. of Worthing. lO The CcrtaiJi Travels Six meals he meated me, and lodg'd me thrice He Preached on Sunday Aitgust twenty-one Two Sermons, tending to Salvation : His Doctrines good and he himself doth frame To live in conversation like the same. I thank him, and his Wife and Family, For making of so much (too much) of me, Thus when he could no longer me retain. With love and thanks, I rode to Lewes again This Town contains six Churches, and at least It is a mile in length from West to East : A strong and spacious Castle there hath been As by its moulder d ruins may be seen Thence 1 2 miles I was on my female beast borne T'an unknown feast borne, at a Town calFd Eastbourne I at an Inn alighted, and found there Unlook'd for welcome, and good Sussex cheer Sir Thomas Dike, Sir Thomas Parker, Knights With kind Esquires, whose names and Epithites I mention not, because I know them not But to them all my thanks is unforgot For undeserved unlook'd for, and unthought From thee my purse and person both were fraught This was on AtLgust twenty-six, a Friday Near Dogs days end, a very fair and dry day The next day, and the next I felt the bounty Of the high Sheriff of Sussex famous County ! of ail Uncertain your/ icy. II He entertain'd me Saturday and Sunday, , And would have kept me 20 days past Monday There was a high and mighty drink call'd Rug^ Sure since the Reign of great King Gorbodug Was never such a rare infus'd confection Injection, operation, and ejection. Are Hogen Mogeiv' Rugs, great influences To provoke sleep, and stupify the senses No cold can ever pierce his flesh or skin Of him who is well lin'd with Rtig within ^Eastbourne Rug on which our ^yater-YoQ.\. is "so sweet and vokible in his discourse " upon, must have been some high and mighty " local drink, with which he v, as previously unacquainted, as he mal