I I
of V
.B 132^
RECOMMENDATIONS.
irooel J. Af. Stevenson, D. D)., Pastor of the First Presbyterian
ChIurch, New Albaniy, I.cdiana, and Rev. ])rs. Lindsley and
Wood, formerly Professors in the Theological Seminary of
{Mew Albany.
I have read in MSS. the Lectures of Rev. Win. Bacon, on
the Duties of Parents, &C., and they have been delivered by
the author to my church.
I regard them as containing valuable and timely and plainspoken instruction upon a subject urgently demlanding more
attention than it now receives.
I cannot but hope that these Lectures, embodied in a small
volume, would be greatly useful. 
J. M. STEVENSON,
Pastor of First Presbyterian Church.
I cordially concur in the above.
PHILIP LINDSLEY.
I have heard three of these discourses. They evince much
attention to the subject, extensive reading, careful observation, and good sense.  Parents who desire to learn and practice the duties they owe to their children, and to avoid tile
errors so common in family government, -"ill derive benefit
from their perusal.                        JAMES WOOD.
ri 
RECOMMENDATIONS.
Firom the Rev.  )rs. Condit, Hopkints, and Hfuitiqtgton, Pro    fessors in the Thteological Senineary, Auburn, iV. Y
Rev. Mr. BAcoN:
Dear Sir-Your treatise on "Parental Training" is evidently the fruit of study and experience; and is adapted to
do much good.  I am happy to see that you have given particular attention to the various difficulties which parents
meet with, and have met the case with judicious treatment.
Treatises abound on this important subject, but yours will
find room. Its plan and design will arrest attention. I
earnestly commend it to parents.
Yours, &c.,
J. B. CONDIT.
I have read with great interest and profit Mr. Bacon's
work on Parental Training.  It is full of sound and important ideas in respect to proper household instruction and
government and the early conversion of children. I heartily
wish a copy of it could be put in the hands of every parent
who has the responsibility of training up young children.
Its views, if adopted, would work a most salutary revolution in numberless families.
SAM'L M. HOPKINS.
It gives me pleasure to concur in the above recommendations of Mir. Bacon's very practical and excellent work on
Parental Training.                  E. A. HUNTINGTON.
Rev. Jonathan Brace, of Milford, Conn., author of "Scripture Portraits," &c., writes: "Your previous volume on'The
Visible Church,' prepared me to welcome this little work,
which I have read with much interest. The subject is one
of great importance, and is judiciously and ably handled.
Well considered, well worded, and eminently practical, it
deserves, and I hope will receive, the careful attention of
parents and guardians of youth."
AUBURN, Feb. 16, 1856. 
PAR E N TAL
INFLUENCE, AUTIIORITY,
"       it tIla.
THEIR POWER AND IMPOPRTANCE.
I f i  *, 
BY
REV. WILLIAM BACON.
AUTHOR OF "SALVATION MADE SURF" "ITH  BIBLE CHuRCHr," RTC.
NEW YORK AND AUBURN:
MILLER, ORTON & MULLIGAN.
New York: 25 Park Row.-Auburn: o10T Genesee-st
1856. 
Entered accordin- to,Act of Congress, in the year one thousand eight hun
v,,I~ ti dred and fifty-six,
? C.Y WILLIAM BACON.
In the Cle'k' Office of the District Court for the Northern District of
New-York.
AUBURN:
MILLERt, ORTON & MULLIGAN,
BT]RlOTYPERN AND PRINTe 
is
RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED
TO
BY
~~~       THE~n1n AUTHOR. 
AuznNus, N. Y.  
(I -
PREFACE.
ON the appearance of -this work, two questions will
probably suggest themselves.   One is, "Why publish
another treatise on christian, parental education 2"
And I answer,
1. Because the ones already published are few in
comparison with the importance of the subject, and even
these are too little known.  Many parents have felt
their need of such works, without knowing that they
could be found. And some may find this volume that
have not found the others. Besides, the multiplication
of books will multiply readers.
2. Because some things found in other works of the
kind are of minor importance, and are, therefore, omitted in this, or are but briefly touched upon; while some
things of more importance are omitted or too little considered in the other works, and are insisted on more at
length in this;
3. Because (as the author is vain enough to believe)
this is a more concise, condensed and comprehensive 
PREFACE.
work on the subject than has been heretofore given to
the public; and,
4. Because it is hoped that some will profit the more
by this, because they have read some of the other treatises.  For, though it should give them no new knowl edge on the subject, it may bring to mind, and more fully
enforce, what they have learned already.
The other question is, " Has the author had children
of his own whom he has brought up as he would urge
us to bring up ours?" This inquiry is the more likely
to be made, as many who have never had the management of children, or have managed them badly, are
often very forward to teach others how they should govern and instruct their households; while the instructions
of such can be neither welcome nor reliable. Now, all
the author can say in answer to this question is, that he
has brought up children, but not as well as he could
wish; yet the failure has not been owing altogether to
himself, though too much so. In looking back, he sees
many errors in his own management which he wishes
others to avoid. And one object of this work is to help
them in doing so.
I have drawn largely from my own experience and
observations, not only, but from the word of God especially; also from  Witherspoon's Letters on Education,
vi 
PREAOCE.
Babington's Practical View, Dick's Works, Abbot's
Mother  at Home,  Lindley's Infant Philosophy, and
Bushnell's Christian Nurture. The latter appears to be,
with many, a proscribed book. But while (if I understand him) he holds some errors, he has brought out
many important truths that other authors have overlooked.  And my aim has been to "gather the good into
vessels, and cast the bad away."
I do not expect my views will be relished by all my
readers. But I believe that those who will value and
heed them least, are the ones who need them most.
Many will dislike them because they are in opposition
to their former opinions and practices. For many a
one is vexed when  his self-complacency, respecting his
parental management, is disturbed; and would rather
be left to continue his pernicious modes of training
his household.   I fear, particularly,  that  the  views
in the second discourse on Influence and Impression,
will not be welcome to some, because they require
more household and heart religion than they are incelined
to practice. And yet, the increase of such religion would
be a great advantage to themselves, as well as to their
children.
It is true, that a vast amount of parental duties can be
done by the impenitent. But the more piety parents
Vii 
PREFACE.
have, the more faithfully and successfully they can train
their households. It is, therefore, very important that
they have much love, zeal, and faith. Especially is it
important, that they have much reliance on the promise
of God to Abraham, and through him to all saints, respecting their children. Nor is it less important, that
they pray much for wisdom and success in the training
of their offspring. For, it is one of the surest ways to
promote their own parental faithfulness, as well as to
secure the salvation of their children.
viii 
CONTENTS.
LECTURE L
PAGE.
11
Importance of Parental Training,
LECTURE II.
The Birth and Death of Infants momentous Events
-Right Views of our Lost, and Right Treatment
of our Surviving ones,....
LECTURE III.
Parental Government an Important Duty,
LECTURE IV.
Government by Authority,
LECTURE V.
......             99
32
55
76
Government in Love, 
CONTENTS.
LECTURE VI.
Parental Instruction,.......
LECTURE VII.
Parental Mismanagement,...
LECTURE VIII.
Childhood Conversion both Possible and Probable,
LECTURE IX.
The Happy Results of Right Parental Training,
PAGE.
121
141
164
188 
CHRISTIAN CULTURIE.
LIECTURE I.
I2PORTANCE OF PARENTAL TRAINING.
Ro,. V. 12: "Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into
the woIrld, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all
men, for that all have sinned."
ExoDUs xx. 5, 6: "I, the Lord thl)y God, am a jealous God,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the
third and fourth generation of them that hate me; and showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep nmy
commandments."
GE\. xvri[. 19: "For I know him, that he will command
his children and his household after him, and they shall keep
the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment, that the
Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he has spoken of
him."
THESE passages are stepping-stones that will
lead us to a right position as to the duty of
"training up our children in the way they should
go."  The first passage teaches us, that in consequence of the sin of Adam, all his posterity
are born with a propensity to sin; and, there 
PARENTAL TRAINING,
fore, that the chief aim of parents should be
to repress this propensity in their children, in
order to secure their salvation.
The second passage teaches, that there is an
important connection between every parent and
his posterity; that is, that, somehow, God visits
the sins of parents upon their children even to
the fourth generation, and shows mercy to thousands (supposed to mean thousands of generations *) of those that love and obey him. Not
that he literally _punis8hes children for the sin, or
rewards them for the obedience of their parents.
The passage teaches only, that the consequences
of a parent's conduct will reach his posterity.
And this fact is held out to him as an induce
ment to "cease to do evil" and "learn to do
well." The consideration is, that sin will injure,
and obedience benefit, both ourselves and our
posterity. Hience, the outbreathing of divine benevolence: " Oh, that there were such an heart
in them that they would fear me, and keep my
* See Deut. vii. 9.
12 
LECTURE I.
commandments always, that it might be well
with them and with their children forever." *
But how do the consequences of the parent's
conduct affect his posterity? Mostly, through
their moral training. While the sin of Adam
reaches all his posterity through native depravity, the sins of other parents reach theirs
through parental  nurture.  Impenitent parents,
instead of restraining and repressing the evil
liclinations of their children, are doing much to
foster and confirm them-doing it by example
doing it by allowing, and even by approving,
of their wrong feelings and conduct-nay, by
prompting them to these things; while, on the
other hand, faithful believing parents will train
their children "in the way they should go "
the way  of repentance, faith, and salvation.
This is confirmed by the last passage of the
text.
"For I know him, (Abraham,) that he will
command his children and his household after
* Deut. v. 29.
13 
PARENTAL TRAINING.
him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord
to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may
bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him." The thing spoken of him was,
that " In him all the families of the earth should
be blessed."*  Here we are told not only why
the promise was made to him, but how it was to
be fulfilled. It was by his training his household to "keep the way of the Lord."  This passage alludes, no doubt, to the atonement of
Christ. But it points, mainly, to an important
means by which the blessings of this atonement
are to be attained; that is, to right moral training. It is true, that Abraham could have commanded but few generations of his descendants
to follow him; but it is to be understood, that
those whom he did train would bring up their
children as he brought them, and that each successive generation would do the same.t
This means of grace is not only the first in order of appointment and practice, but first in
* Gen. xii. 3. t See Gen. xvii. 7, and Psalm lxxviii. 6, 6.
14 
LECTURE I.
importance and efficacy. It has neither been
annulled nor superseded; nor has its necessity
or efficacy been in the least abated. Says the
author of " Parental Duties,"-" God has established a connection between parental fidelity
and extensive blessings to the church; and it
were not going too far to affirm, that the piety
of the household is a means more honored than
any other, for raising up, and continuing on
earth, a holy seed." (p. 144.)
Although Sarah is not named in the last passage of the text, she is virtually included in it,
as Eve is in the first. In scripture, as in law,
the interests, rights, and duties of the wife are
merged in those of her husband. In these respects, they are " one flesh." And though the
mother's name is often omitted, where parental
interests are spoken of, yet, in other passages,
she is mentioned most emphatically; as in the
following: "Honor thy father and thy mother."
"My son, hear the instructions of thy father,
and forsake not the law of thy mother."  "My
15 
PARENTAL TRAINING.
son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother." "The eye
that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey
hAis mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick
it out, and the young eagles shall eat it." *
It is a fact, too, that in many respects the
mother's agency in christian nurture is more
important than that of the father. This is enmphatically true in the earlier stages of childhood.
For then she is with them much more than he,
and, consequently, has more occasion to restrain
and instruct them. And as they are more dependent on her, and receive more kind attentions from her, she has the better opportunity
to win their affection and confidence, and, thereby, their obedience. Besides, she has those
warmer, finer sensibilities which give her, in
this respect, still greater advantage.
And, on several accounts, early childhood is a
very important portion of human existence. Although many regard the first six or nine months
.*EL xx. 12; Prov. i. 8; vi. 20; xxx. 17.
16 
LECTURE I.
of the child's life as almost a blank, both as to
its mind and morals, the truth is far otherwise.
It will be found, on observation, that the character of the future man is more deeply and diiurably stamped during that portion of childhood
which may be called the mother's dynasty, than
during any equal portion of its after life. Yes;
the mother gives shape to the little moral nucleus, and thus decides, in a great measure, the
form of the final mnass.
If we look into history, sacred or profane, we
shall find much to confirm us as to the importance of a mother's agency in forming the moral
character of men.  Look at the mother of Moses, whose early education of her son was the
evident means of saving him from being overborne by the corrupting influence of the schools
of Egypt, and of the court of Pharaoh, and thus,
of making him the deliverer of Israel, and the
lawgiver of that people.- Look at Hannah,
whose training of her son Samuel fitted him to
receive, even in his childhood, the messages of
2
17 
PARENTAL TRAINING.
the Most iligh, and afterward, to be a judge of
Israel. Look at Elizabeth, mother of John the
Baptist, and at Eunice, mother of Timothy.
Look at Nonna, mother of Nazianzem, and at
Anthusa, mother of Chrysostom. Look at the
mothers of Augustin, of John Newton, and of
many others, whose early instructions were the
means of preparing their sons for pious and useful careers, or of reclaiming them after they had
gone far off in the ways of the profligate.  Compare the mother of Solomon with the mother of
Ahaziah, the mother of Washington with the
mother of Napoleon, and the mother of John
Quincy Adams with the mother of Lord Byron.
It is often said that extraordinary men have extraordinary mothers, and that this happens according to "' the vascular system," or that physical law by which "like produces like."  But
much, if not all, of this correspondence may be
referred to the mother's influence on her child
after its birth, yet so early after it, as to be generally overlooked. In confirmation of this look
18 
LECTURE I.
at the maternal training of Sir William Jones,
Bishop Hall, Cowper, Doddridge, Cecil, Swartz,
Brainard, Edwards, and Dwight; and to these
many other names might be added.
The younger a child is, the finer and more
flexible, the softer and more impressible, must
be its mental and moral constitutions. It is
alive to everything that addresses its senses,
and the feeblest influences may be stamping durable impressions upon it. A process of moral
daguerreotyping is thus constantly carried on
in the soul of the young child. And though the
characters thus impressed are not now legible,
still, they are there, and will show themselves
more and more in future life. They are like the
characters written with invisible ink, and which
become legible only as they are exposed to light
or heat. How important, then, is that part
of the child's life when it is mostly under the
eyes and actions of its mother'; and, therefore,
how important that the mother's influence should
be of the right kind. For, how correct the
19 
PARENTAL TRAINING.
opinion of Napoleon, that " a man is whlat hi~
mother makes him."
And it is very important that the father and
mother should be perfectly harmonious in the
training of their children, lest what the one does
the other should more than undo. In all their
concerns they need to be not only " one flesh,"
but one spirit.  But in the goverment of their
household, this union is emphatically needful.
They should, therefore, consult together more on
this than on any other of their household affairs;
and if they do disagree in opinion on the subject,
they should be careful never to let their children
see it.
It is particularly injurious for one parent to
interfere with the other, in the government of
a child. It tends to ruin the authority of both
parents, and thus to spoil all their children. I
know a rich, but wretched family, which owed
its wretchedness to the fact, that when the father attempted to correct his eldest child, the
mother snatched it from him, and ran into an
20 
LECTURE I.
other room with it. Thinking it useless, he resolved never again to attempt the government
of his family. And he kept his word, to their
social, if not to their eternal undoing.
Professor Lindley gives a striking instance of
this error, as follows: "I was guest in a family,
respected for wealth, and for their pretensions
to high life. The mistress of the house had in
her lap a child about a year old. She had occasion, in the discharge of her maternal duties,
to cross its inclinations; and the child became
angry, and resisted, with its might, the mother's
will. The mother, in a calm, but very prompt
and decided manner, subdued its passion, and
produced a quiet and calm submission.  But the
father soon took the child in his arms, clasped
it to his bosom, and condoled with it, in sutch
language as this:' Did mother slap my poor little son? She sha'nt do it any more. Poor son,
his heart is almost broken. Give me blows in
my hand, to strike mother.  Shake your fist at
her.'
gi 
PARENTAL TRAINING.
"The mother remonstrated with him, not to
ruin the child that she loved. But the father
vindicated his conduct, by saying,' Wait till the
child gets old enough to know his duty, and
then he will need no correction.' his degraded
wife silently withdrew, to weep in secret over
the ruin which she foresaw was likely to overtake her children, and over the contempt into
which she would be likely to be brought at some
future day, when her children would be old
enough to trample down her pious authority."
(Infant Philosophy, _p. 27, 28.)
Few parents, perhaps, are guilty of interference
as gross- as this; yet many, I fear, are approaching too near to it. How often does a child hear
one parent chiding the other for punishing or reproving it. And what is this, but teaching the
child to justify itself, and to disregard parental
authority?  Nor is it enough to abstain from interference. Mere silence will be often understood as a token of disapprobation; and if the
disapprobation be but felt the child will be
22 
LECTURE I.
sure to read it in the looks and actions of its parent. And this will prolong its stubbornness,
and, perhaps, prevent its submission; for it is
natural to it, when corrected by one parent, to
look for sympathy to the other.
This is illustrated by what occurred with two
fathers of my  acquaintance, the one an elder,
the other a minister of the Presbyterian church.
"I had," said the elder, "a sore trial when I
first enforced obedience on my eldest daughter.
She remained a long while stubborn under the
rod. At length I saw she was looking to her
mother for pity. I had, therefore, to request
miiy wife-either to leave the room, or to use the
rod herself. She, therefore, gave her a few
blows, when she cheerfully submitted." 
"And," said the minister, "just such a thing
occurred in the government of my eldest daughter.  My wife began to punish our little one for
disobedience, and I was inwardly sorry for it,
thinking the child was too young to be corrected.   She continued obstinate for a long
23 
PARENTAL TRAININ6.
while. At length my wife saw the reason was,
that she was looking to me for sympathy.  She
therefore said,' Mr. S., I shall not be able to
conquer this child unless you, also, apply the
rod.' Whereupon, I gave her a few strokes,
when she yielded."
Parents should strive in various ways to increase, instead of diminishing each othler's authority. For instance: when one gives a comnmand that is not immediately obeyed, the other
should repeat it, and with additional sternness;
or should express astonishment or grief that the
child did not obey this commandment at once:
"Wha-t! will you disobey your mother?" (or
father, as the case may be.) This should be the
sincere and earnest expression of one parent,
when the other is not instantly obeyed.
It may be more especially the duty of the
husband to command and correct the household.
But if he neglects to do so, it is the duty of the
wife to make up the deficiency.  And  either
should exercise authority, as the occasion re
24: 
LECTURE I.
quires, for instance, while the other is absent
or occupied.  It is the understanding of some
families, that the father shall direct the sons,
and the mother the daughters. But for the exact fulfillment of this arrangement, I see neither
revelation nor reason.  If either parent sees an
order or a chastisement needed, it is his or her
duty to give it. Nor should fathers or mothers
allow a child to understand,that they have relinquished their authority over any portion of their
households.
It is especially unwise in one parent to call
on the other to govern the children.  How weak
in a mother to say, "Father, do speak to this
child-he won't let me dress him; " or to say to
the child, "If you don't behave, I will tell your
father of you." And how weak and undignified
for a father to say, as many have been heard to
to say, " MIother, why don't you keep these children still; I can't hear myself think." Both parents should be, and show themselves to be, perfectly adequate and egual in parental authority.
B
25 
PARENTAL TRAINING.
It is most evident, from the word and providence of God, that he has committed the moral
training of children to their own fathers and
mothIers. And in this arrangement there is more
wisdom than infidels allow, or theologians are
wont to appreciate. For, as they are so much
of their time necessarily with their children,
they have the more opportunity to "train them
up in the way they should go." And filial affection gives them a vast advantage in discharging this duty; while in their parental love they
find the strongest motives to be faithful.  I cannot, therefore, but consider it most unwise, as
well as unauthorized, to commit this duty to
"sponsors," as some churches are doing; or to
"committees," as some classes of infidels are doing.  For these substitutes can have neither the
opportunities, advantages, nor inducements that
parents have, to "bring up these children in the
* The terms, "godfathers" and "g6dmothers," are to me
almost profane and revolting, as there is so little of God's authority in their appointment, and, often, so little of the Spirit
of God in themselves.
26 
LECTURE I.
nurture and admonition of the Lord." What an
abortive attempt is this, then, to improve on the
wisdom of God; an attempt the more to be regretted, as it tends to lessen parental regard to
the obligations and encouragements of the Family or Abrahamic Covenant.
It appears to me that parental nurture, considered as a means of grace, has long been sadly
undervalued, both by parents and by the church
of Christ.  The preaching of the gospel seems
mostly relied upon as a means of salvation.
But this is plied upon the heart after it is sadly
"hardened through the deceitfulness of sin;
whereas parental training takes the heart in
hand while it is comparatively tender, and more
easily molded. It is true, that neither of these
means of grace will be effectual, except as it
is rendered so by the influence of the Spirit of
God. But is there not more hope of securing
this effectual influence for the young, than for
those who have long been resisting and grieving
it?  And is there not ample encouragement in
27 
PARENTAL TRAINING.
the Abrahamic Covenant, that if we strive faithfully to "train up our children in thie way they
should go," the Spirit will be given to render us
successful?
I may overrate this subject; but it seems to
me that none is more important, either to the
country or the church, and. nonie needs more
to be insisted onl at the present day. Three dangers now threaten us:  nsubordnation, nfdelity, and the injlux of an ignorant and corrulgt
population.  But, if all our christian professors
were sufficiently excited to examine and to do
this duty, our land would be safe. As ours is a
republican  government, it must  be  self-sustained. We have not, like monarchies, a strong
military force for sustaining law. It is the more
needful, then, that our citizens have such a habit of seff-qovernzent as shall make us a lawabiding people. And they that obey their parents first, will be most likely to obey their reason, then their rulers, afterward. Self-control,
then, should be cultivated in the nursery. The
28 
LECTURE I.
most turbulent and outbreaking of our citizens,
and those most ready to mingle in our mobs, are
those the least taught and governed at home.
But while right parental training is especially
needful here) it is more neglected, I fear. than
in Scotland and England, and ill some parts of
Ireland and Germany-owing much, perhaps,
to extravagant notions of freedom and independence. I fear, too, that in the Presbyterian
church, whose principles and policy strongly
urge the duty of parental government, it is
more neglected than it is among Moravians and
Quakers.
Napoleon  said,  "France wants  mothers."'
And I would say, "America wants mothers;"
but not such as the great man of blood had in
view. She needs not vain parents, to instill into their children a martial spirit, or a love of
worldly glory; but such as will teach them that
"righteousness which exalteth a nation."  If all
the children that are now in christian families
were trained thus, they would come into ac
29 
PAREN'RTAL TRAINING.
tive life just in time to save their imperilled
country.
But much. more does the church need such
parents. The signs of the times are ominous of
evil; and there is the more need that "the
hearts of our parents be turned to their children,
lest the Lord come and smite us with a curse."
The piety of the times is too shallow, periodical,
and fitful. It is found, by observation, that
those converts who have been brought up in pious families, are most devout and uniform.* We
need, then, more of "the nurture and admonition of the Lord" in the nursery, that we may
have more deep-toned and consistent piety in
"the household of faith."  In many places, the
church is declining in numbers, as well as in
piety. But if all the children of professors were
rightly trained, how many of them would soon
be converted, and join the visible church. Nor
would the rest drink in, as' too many now do,
the infidelity of the day.
*See Rev. Jacob Little's Report, 1855.
80 
LECTURE I.
Loud complaints are heard from every part
of the land, that "the laborers are few;" and
hence the many calls for "prayer to the Lord
of the harvest," that he would "send forth laborers into his harvest." Hence, too, the calls
upon our Elkanahs and Hannahs, to bring their
young Samuels into the house of the Lord.
And as so great a share of ministers have come,
hitherto, from pious families, what an increase
of such laborers might soon be expected, if all
the fathers and mothers in Israel were faithful
in training their sons for the service of the Lord.
Hiow important, then, in view of all the foregoing considerations, that parents of the present
age'should follow the example of Abraham, in
"commanding their children after them to keep
the way of the Lord."
31. 
LIECTURE II.
THE BIRTH AND DEATH OF INFANTS, IM0OMENTOUS EVENTS
RIGHT VIEWS OF OUR LOST, AND RIGHT TREATM3ENT              OF OUR SURVIVING ONES.
JUDGES, xiii. 12: I-iow shall we order the child?
THE birth of a child is generally regarded as a
trivial event. Even its parents do not estimate
it as highly as they ought. Those who are following their son to the gallows, were probably
much interested in his birth.  But, alas! how
much deeper had been their interest, if they had
suspected how he was to pain their hearts by
his life, and break them by his death. The parents of Gen. Washington rejoiced greatly, no
doubt, when their little George was born. But,
oh! how much greater would have been their
joy, if they had foreseen his glorious career; especially, had they known what inestimable blessings were to come through his hands to the
many millions of their fellow men. 
LECTURE II.
And yet there is, belonging to every infant, a
far greater importance than we are wont to attach to the most malignant foe, or the best benefactor of our race. It is that which pertains
to its immortality. For there is no comparison
between time and eternity. At the birth of every child, there is waked into life a soul that
will never cease. Its activities and its happiness or woe will continue as long as angels adore
and God reigns.  This soul is of infinite importance, then, because of its infinite duration.
We are apt to think, too, that the death of a
child is a trivial event. Its parents may mourn
for it sorely. But it is because of their parental love, and not because of their high valuation
of it on the scale of moral beings. During its
brief stay on earth, it has written no important
history on the mind of any one. Andin its
early death, its mission to earth seems a failure.
But far different is the fact. The close of its life
on earth is not the termination of its existence.
No; its existence is eternal. And the presump          - B* B
33 
PARENTAL TRAINING.
tion is, that it will expand and increase in energy forever. Nor is it probable that it will be
less active, useful, or happy, than if it had long
remained on earth, since all who die in infancy
are evidently saved. It is only removed to another sphere of enjoyment and usefulness; and,
for aught we know, it is removed thus early,
that it may be the earlier and the better prepared for the enjoyment and service assigned
it. The death of a child on the very day of its
birth, may be as great an event, then, as that of
D)r. Chalmers or Daniel Webster; and some of
those infants who died by the edict of Herod,
may be now before the throne of God, shining
in acquirements as vast, and accomplishments
as illustrious, as those of Luther or Calvin,
Whitfield or Wesley.
Those who have lost young children should
be consoled by the thought, then, that their departed ones have left a world of sin and sorrow
for one of holiness and bliss; and that while
t'ir aurses here were erring and imperfect, 
LECTURE II.
their present ones, who "do always behold the
face of their Father in heaven," will give them,
as "1the heirs of salvation," all the care they
need. They should say to themselves,
"They are not dead, these babes of our affection,
But gone unto that school,
Where they no longer need our poor protection,
And Christ himself doth rule."
The thought that their children, if still on
earth, would be exposed to trouble and sorrow
here, and to everlasting woe hereafter, but that
now they are in a world where is "' fullness of
joy and pleasures forevermore "-this thought,
I say, should turn their grief to joy, and their
mourning to lofty praise.
To their departed children, parents owe no
duties; for their destinies are fixed, and nothing
that others can do, will relieve or improve them.
But many and momentous are the duties which
they owe to those still alive. Yet many grieve
so excessively over their deeased, as to neglect their  liing ones.   They  should rather
35 
PARENI'AL TRiAINING.
reflect, that while the former need none, the latter need the utmost of their anxiety and care;
that these living ones are exposed to sin, to suffering, and to eternal woe; and that a vast
amount of watchfulness and effort is needed to
keep them from these evils.  And since  the
Lord, instead of taking these, also, to himself,
is still lending them, at such a fearful hazard to
their parents, what a solemn responsibility does
he thus impose upon them. What a solemn
truth, that he spares our children to us at the
peril of their souls, and thus makes us responsible for their perdition, if they are lost through
our neglect. In the language of the prophet,
he "sets us as watchmen over them; " therefore,
"if they die in their iniquity, their blood will
be required at our hand."
But the grief of some bereaved parents is
leading them to neglect their surviving children,
not through indifference to them, but through
excessive tenderness.   The loss of their other
children, leads them to idolize their survi
36 
LECTURE 11.
ving ones. And through excessive and false
affection for them, they fail to restrain and guide
them as they ought; and thus they ruin them,
both for the present and the future world. What
folly and sin to fit our living children for hell,
because God has taken our others to heaven!
Such, then, is our responsibility in respect to
the training of our children, that we should inquire, as Manoah did respecting his son Samnson,
"Ifow shall we order the child? "
The only means which many employ for the
salvation of their children, is that of submitting
them to the ceremony of baptism; and even
ta'is they often defer till their children are sick
unto death. And then, they seem to think there
is some charm, magic, or other mysterious influenice in the mere ceremony-as if the grace of God
were a fluid flowing in the water upon the faces,
and then into the souls of their children, fitting
them for death and heaven;  or as if God had
promised to save them on condition that water
were applied to them in the name of the Trin
37 
PARENTAL TRAINING.
ity; whereas, no such power or promise is con
nected with the external ceremony.
Baptism is the answer of a good conscience
toward God." (1. Peter, iii. 21.) And infant
baptism is at first the answer, only, of the parent's conscience; for it is then his act, and not
that of his child.  And it can be his "answer
of a good conscience toward God," only, when
he has a proper regard to the meaning and pledge
which the rite implies. Its meaning is, that the
child needs "the washing of regeneration."  Its
pledge is, that the parents will seek the salvation of their child by proper parental nurture.
Thus,  baptism operates nothing, yet implies
much.
If any should ask, What is the use of infant
baptism? I would answer:  It is to excite the
church, and especially the parents, to more
prayer and earnestness in "training up their
children in the way they should go."   Nor
should its influence in this respect be small.
As we consider our church relation to our bap
38 
LECTURE II.
tized children, how solemnly we have vowed to
seek their salvation, and what encouraging
promises of success are given us, it should excite us to great earnestness and diligence in
"bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." And yet, like all other institutions of the gospel, it fails to accomplish all
it ought.
I propose to consider, in this and the following discourses, the most important means of
moral parental training. They are,
1. Injluence; 2. Authority; and 3. Instruction.
The first of these will now be considered.
By Influence, in distinction from Authority and
Instruction, I mean, that secret power by which
expression or example impresses the minds of
others.  Some choose to call it the power of impression.  It is a kind of mental and moral
electricity, by which mankind affect one another. I have placed it first, because it is the
first thing that reaches the infant's mind, and
-89
t~e 
PARENTAL INFLUENOCE.
the one which impresses it most in its earliest
stages, though it is potent in all after life. It
will be found, as we have already remarked,
that the first year of a child's life is a most important time for molding the head and heart
aright, and for giving them the proper direction for life.
The chil receives its first ideas through its
five senses, Seeing, Hearing, Feeling, Tasting,
and Smelling. An impression on any one of
these senses, awakens a thought in the mind.
For without thought there is no conscious sensation. And, therefore, as I understand it, the
way in which chloroform prevents pain in a surgical operation, is by mysteriously interrupting
the connection between the senses and the soul.
Now, every thought will have an impression on
the soul, as the stamp does on wax; and this impression must correspond with the thought that
enstamps it. As, then, the soul in childhood is
most pliant, and, at the same time, most retentive, it is exceedingly important that the first
40 
LECTURE II.
thoughts which visit it, should be such as will
make the best impressions. For the first movements of the mind are like the first shootings
of a plant; they determine the direction of its
future growth.  The first direction taken by a
vine, will, probably, decide whether it shall
creep along the ground, and be trampled to
death under the feet of wild beasts, or whether
it shall ascend the oak, and bear its clusters for
many generations.  It is important, then, that
the first objects that fix the gaze of infancy,
should be pleasant and winning, not ugly and
repulsive. The parents, nurses, and others who
approach it, should wear a smiling aspect, not a
sad or sour, angry or scowling one.
"I may be thought fanciful,"' says Babington,
"but I certainly think it would be important to
keep sour and ill-humored faces out of the nursery, even though such faces were not commonly accompanied by corresponding conduct.
I am persuaded, that I have seen a very bad
effect produced by a face of this kind, on the
41 
I'AlREiNTAL IlFLUENCE.
countenance of an infant. Is it not reasonable
to suppose, that if the infant sympathizes with
a smile, it may also sympathize with a scowl,
and catch somewhat of the dispositioa which
distorts the features of the nurse." (Christian
Education, p. 37.)
Nor will counterfeit appearances avail. The
child reads the countenance with more readiness and accuracy, and understands the language
of the passions more readily, than adults do.
Little is many a mother aware how early it detects her false looks, and how much she is doing, at a very early age, to teach her child, by
example, to become a deceiver. If she would
make the right impression, she must use no deception, but have the right feelings, and leave
them to act themselves out, spontaneously.
And so, also, it is important that the first
sounds which salute the infant ear should be
soft and soothing, not boisterous, harsh or frightful. Some people have, by nature or habit, a
loud, rough way of speaking and acting. From
42, 
LEOTURE II.
these the young child should be guarded, as,
also, from al  harsh and unpleasant sounds.
And the same is true as to all its other senses;
for impressions on any of them will contribute
more or less to determine its dispositionwhether it shall be mild and quiet, or whether
it shall be wild or willful, morose or turbulent.
And, besides these senses of the body, there
are two properties which I shall call the senses
of the soul.  They are Sympathy and Imitativeness.   They are evidently twin affections, although sympathy manifests itself slightly at the
age of two weeks, and ftlilly at the age of two
months; while the other is not called out till
four months afterwards. Sympathy is thought
by many to be a human weakness. But it is
that, in fact, which Divine Wisdom has interwoven in our constitution for wise and noble
purposes.  True, it can be, and often has been,
grievously abused; but its right use is essential
to the highest human welfare.
Sympathy is a disposition to feel as others
43 
PARENTAL INFLUENCE.
feel.  Imitativeness is a disposition to act as
others act. And these instincts lie at the foundation of our social natures.   Without sympathy, we should have no disposition to associate
together; and without initativeness, we should
not have that likeness of conduct and manners,
nor feel that union of interests, which is needful
to bind society together. Nor should we acquire
what is so essential to our intercourse, a cornmon language.
Just so soon as the child begins to feel and act
like those around it, it is important that all in
its presence should feel and act arig/t, and thus
furnish- it with none but proper objects of imitation. For, as before remarked, the infant is
an early and accurate observer of the feelings
and conduct of others. Whether this fact is
owing to its having, in infancy, an instinctive,
intuitive knowledge of the language of the passions, a knowledge which it loses when reason
comes to supply its place, or whether, like the
deaf or the blind, it is more dependent than af
44 
LECTURE II.
terward on its observations, and is the more attentive to looks, and tones, and actions, I will
not say. But such is the fact, account for it as we
may. And those parents err egregiously, therefore, who talk and act improperly before their
child, thinking it will take no notice of them.
It is owing, principally, I think, to sympatAy
and imitativeness, that the child partakes so
much of the disposition and character of its parents. It is often said to'; drink them in with
the mother's milk."  Yes; with her milk, but
not in it, nor by it.  More properly, it takes
them in at its ears and eyes, from its parent's
words and-actions.
If, during the first year of its life, its parents
would be as attentive to the soul of their child
as they are to its far less important part, the body,
how much good they might accomplish. Oh,
if they would treat it neither as an idol nor as
a plaything, but regard it as " a candidate for a
glorious immortality," and would practically
consider how much it depends on their treat
45 
PARENTAL INFUENCE.
ment, whether it eventually prove to be "an
embryo angel or an infant fiend," how much
anguish they would save both themselves and
their child.
Consider, then, dear parents, how important
that you cultivate, thus early, these seven senses
of your child.  Consider that now the plate and
camera-obscura of the moral daguerreian is so
adjusted as to exclude nearly all other influences, except what emanate from yourselves; and
that now you have your best opportunity for
transferring your own moral image-not to a
plate of metallic composition, but to one of
far higher value, the "fleshly table of the heart"
of your own dear child. And remember, that
to enstamp the right image, yout must have
yourself the right moral character. You must
be christians, indeed; christians at home; christians wearing more of the lovely, if not less of
the sterner aspects of religion, than many professing parents are wont to exhibit. But this
requisite may be your chief objection to the
6 
LECTURE II.
means of christian nurture which is now recommended; and yet it would be peculiarly beneficial to yourselves.   For the more lovely and
consistent your piety at home, the better it will
be both for yourselves and your offspring And
if you are faithful with your child at first, you
will probably fix on it impressions that will, in
a great measure, determine its career of piety on
earth and blessedness in heaven. To say the
least, you will thereby do much toward giving
it an obedient and teachable disposition.
A child that is not yet brought into complete
submission, is like a broken bone, or a limb out
of joint; and the sooner it is "reduced," the
better.  For the longer it remains out of place,
the more it gets inflamed or indurated; and,
therefore, the more difficult its reduction becomes. And as in surgery it is necessary to
make applications in order to keep down the inflammation, or to allay it if it be already excited, so, in this case, the right training of the
seven senses will prepare the child for the more
47 
MPARENTAL INFLUENCE.
easy and entire subjection of its will to the will
of its parents.
And there is another means highly recommended, as fitted to render this subjugation still
more easy and complete. I have not tested it
by experience, but it seems philosophical; and
I now wonder that I did not test it when I
read of it, many years ago, in the writings of
that able statesman and divine, Dr. Witherspoon. But my attention has been recalled to
it, of late, by reading Rev. Professor Lindley's
"Infant Philosophy."
Dr. Witherspoon thought the experiment
should be commenced when the child is eight
months old; Prof. Lindley, when it is only five
or six months old. And the latter advises that
the previous months should be improved in securing the child's entire confidence. He particularly cautions parents not to forfeit its confidence
by disappointing, tantalizing, or trifling with
it; among other ways, by " half letting it fall
and then catching it again." HIe urges them,
48 
LECTURE II.
on the contrary, to show themselves, up to the
time of commencing this experiment, to be always ready to meet the wants and wishes of the
child.  I will now give you the outlines of this
mode of treatment, mostly in the words of Professor Lindley.
"Call the attention of your child, and give it
a toy, or something else that will please it. It
is made the more glad by the favor, as connected with your good will, than if received by accident.   Yet, to make its pleasure complete,
you should sympathize awhile with it in its
gratification. But be careful, as soon as it begins to lose its interest in the toy, to take it
away, without expressing any regret at its loss;
and if it is not more than five or six months old
it will not cry after it.  But if you ever surrender
it after having expressed your will to remove
it, you will train it to know that it can overcome
you, if it cry sufficiently loud, and storm with
sufficient vengeance. In the space of an hour,
or after the regret at its loss has died away, you
49
a
4 
PARENTAL INFLUENCE.
may restore the toy, to be kept as long as the
child pleases.
"The next day, select something else, your
watch, for instance. Lay it in your child's lap,
and assist its delight ill its beauty and tick.
And again, as its interest begins to flag, put
up your watch, and leave your child to its regrets, to its conscious inability to retain its objects of pleasure, and its sense of dependence
on your favor.
"The next day, or several days afterward,
take another object, a looking-glass, for instance;
put it in its lap, guarding it, and congratulating
your child as before. And again, at the proper
time, remove it, till you restore it the next day;
and never give it some things else, simply because it cannot injure them. For, by doing so,
you would teach your child that you were bound
to reward its privations. This would make it
arrogant, and prostrate your authority.
" Continue this process for five or six months,
if needful, by means of toys and other things
50 
LEOTUlRE II.
with which your child is pleased." (Infant
PAilosphy, pp. 180-4.*)
Of this plan Dr. Witherspoon says: "I can
assure you, from experience, having literally
practiced the method myself, that I never had a
child oftwelve months old, but would suffer me
to take anything from him or her, without the
least mark of anger or dissatisfaction. You
will easily see how this is to be extended from
one thing to another, from contradicting to commanding." ( Wttherspoon's Works, vol. 4, p. 136.)
And Prof. Lindley says: "I know, from ex
* But the measure here recommended is not to be confounded with-a hurtful one used by some parents-that of
checking and crossing their children after they are two years
old and upward, for the avowed purpose of breaking their
wills, and of making it easier for them to practice self-denial.
The effort nmust be commenced before they are a year old, and
be made in love, as well as with firmness, or it will probably
be worse than useless. Concerning these later efforts of the
kind, some poet has well said  He who checks a child with terror,  Never, never break its spirit;
Stops its play and stills its song,  Curb it only to direct.
Not alone commits an error,      Would you stop the flowing river,
But a grievous moral wrong.      Thinking it would cease to flow'
Give it play, and never fear it;  Onward it must flow forever;
Active life is no defect;        Better toach It where to go."
51 
PARENTAL INFLUENCE.
periments which I have made, or have seen
made, to the amount of hundreds of cases, the
system will, if carefully pursued, bring the
child at ten months old into a happy subjection
to its parent's will, so that it will cheerfully and
without a murmur, surrender to the wish of a
parent whatever might be most dear to it."
(Infant Philosop1y, _p. 56-7.)
Again, he says, this system " will secure the
complete submission of the child to the will of
the parent, without the use of the rod or the asperities of the voice.  And all this shall be effected
before the child knows the names of his toys.
And the infant trained in accordance with this
plan until it is twelve months bld, will feel no
passion of resentment, and will not cry when
you take from it any article of which it is most
fond, and which you would think at the time absorbed its whole soul. Hiaving never for the
first time prevailed over your will, when fairly
known, your child has set it down among things
which are impossible.  *  *  Neither does any
52 
LECTURE II.
person, infant, child, or man, put forth an act
of will, * * for the purpose of obtaining an
object which he verily believes to be unattainable.  And if you are firm and immovable in
what you do and say, the child takes it for
granted that your will is, and must necessarily
be, the rule of his conduct.
"Two things are now gained to the child.
The first is, the perfect peace and quietude of its
own mind, while moving within the sphere of
your will. The second is, the docility with
which it will be ready to receive from you any
instructions which it is capable of receiving, and
you at the-time are ready to give." (pp. 184-S.)
Dr. Dick, "On the Mental Illumination and
Moral Improvement of Man," has also recommended this plan.  (pp 86-7.) And if it be as
efficient as these authors represent, it is an invention of more importance than the steam engine or the magnetic telegraph;' for, if it were
faithfully tried by all parents, it would work
out more important results than could be
53 
PARENTAL INFLUENCE.
wrought by lightning or by steam. For what
is the increase of velocity or power in the collmercial or mechanical world, compared with
that cheerful and complete obedience to pareintal authority which makes men happy and useful in this life, and blessed forever in the life to
come? 
To say the least of it, a plan so apparently
rational, and so highly recommended by the
many intelligent ones who have practiced it, is
certainly deserving of a faithful trial, especially
as the trial would be so safe and easy.   Let no
parents act as foolishly as I have done. Let
them not inconsiderately disregard and neglect
it, when its merits can be so safely and so easily
tested. " Prove all things: hold fast that which
is good."   But let the trial be exact and thorough, lest the vast advantages that might otlherwise result from this plan should be lost by
the defective manner in which it is tested.
54 
LECTURE III.
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT AN IMPORTANT DUTY.
Prov. xxii. 15. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a
child; but the rod of correction will drive it far from him.
OUR text is a declaration, in strong language,
that though the disposition and habit of sin is
deeply seated in the soul of a child, yet proper
parental chastisement will eventually dislodge
it. Many in modern times are insisting that
the use of the rod, for the purpose of parental
correction, is a stupid and barbarous practice.
They insist that gnoral suasion, or, at most, that
sham?ne, co~nfement, and privation are all the
means that should be employed to enforce obedience. But their error must be evident; for,
as we shall see hereafter, the child's submission,
to be both easy and entire, must be effected before it can know enough of the fitness of things 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
to be either reasoned or shamed into obedience,
or can be effectually urged to it by imrnprisonment or privation.  And the use of the rod-in
other words, the infliction of some bodily pain
-is the means which God has most plainly appointed for the child's correction. It is mentioned twelve times in his word, as an instrument of authority; * and five of them are in relation to children.  Besides, chastisement, scourg4ig and stripes, in evident connection with the
use of the rod, are used as many times more.t
It may be said, that in some of these passages
the word rod is used figuratively. But what of
that, since it is not so used in all of them, and
since it would not be proper to use it thus even
metaphorically, if it were as improper an instrutment of discipline as many would maintain?
Since, then, the rod is so plainly the means ap
* 2 Sam. vii. 14; Job, ix. 34; xxi. 9; Ps. lxxxix. 32; Prov.
x. 13; xiii. 24; xxii. 15; xxiii. 13, 14; xxvi. 3; xxix. 15;
1 Cor. iv. 21.
f 2 Sam. vii. 14; Ps. lxxxix. 32; Prov. xiii. 24;.xvii. 10;
xix. 18, 29; xx. 30; Luke, xii. 47, 48;  Heb. xii. 5-8.
56 
LECTURE III.
pointed of God to enforce parental obedience,
to discard it utterly is most unwise, if not absolutely impious.
But it is used by many more frequently and
more severely than it ought to be; and it is probable that this excessive use of it is what has
turned many against it.  Nor would  it now
be needed so much, if the previous treatment
of the child had been proper. I verily believe,
that if the measures recommended in my last
discourse were thoroughly attended to, the rod
would rarely be needed. And, some children
are of a softer, quieter mold than others. Such
may, therefore, be subdued without a stroke of
the switch or the hand, even though they have
not had the training just alluded to. I have
sometimes succeeded, myself, both in the school
and the family, without any such chastisements.
All I would insist upon is, that early and entire
obedience should be enforced somehow, and certainly by the rod if not otherwise.
Said the Rev. Dr. Hyde to his son, " I have
57 
PARENTAL GOVERNE NT.
never kept a rod in my house, but I would have
my children obey me.  I presume you have no
recollection of my ever correcting you: but you
were taught to mind early, before you had
numbered two years." I would that all parents,
did so.  But I fear that many who condemn the
use of the rod, fail thereby to enforce obedience
by any means; while, on the other hand, I believe that half the stripes which others give
are worse than in vain.   Punishment is like
medicine.  Some suffer for the want of it, while
others suffer by taking it too often, and in too
great quantities. And many condemn the use
of the rod, because they do not distinguish between the abuse and the right use of it.  Their
argument is, The rod is used too much; therefore it should not be used at all.  What fallacy!
It is proposed to show in this discourse,
Th/at parents are under'npqeriots and solemqn
obligation to secure the complete obedience of
their children.
In the first place, the duty is repeatedly and
58 
LEOTURE III.
earnestly commanded of God, in the following
passages of his word:   " Chasten thy son while
there is hope of him; and let not thy soul spare
for his crying." (Prov. xix. 18.) Hiere is a
command to punish a child early and thoroughly-early, before he is hopelessly hardened
in willfulness; thorotzghly, that is, as long as is
needful to subdue and reform him, however
much he may strive by his outcries to induce us
to desist.
"Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when hlie is old he will not depart from it."
(Prov. xxii. 6.)  To "train him in the way he
should go," is to "command" him, as Abraham
did, and so to enforce the command, that he
"shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice
and judgment." (Gen. xvii. 19.) Here, then,
we have another commandment to secure the
complete obedience of our children.
"'Withhold not correction fronm a child; for,
if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt de
59 
PATERNAL GOVERNMENT.
liver hIlis soul from hell." (Prov. xxiii. 13, 14.)
Hiere we are most directly required to enforce
obedience upon our children, as a means of promoting their eternal welfare.
And again: " Correct thy son, and he shall
give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight to thy
soul." (Prov. xxix. 17.) That correction which
will cause a child to give " rest" and " delight"
to its pious parents, must be reformatory,
such an one, that is, as is said, in our text, to
drive sin far from him -such an one as is effected by the rod; and such an one as is said in
the foregoing passage to " save his soul from
hell,"  This, then, is a virtual command to secure the complete obedience of our children.
And the same is enjoined by the apostle.
"Ye fathers, provoke not your children to
wrath; but bring them up the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Eph. vi. 4.) Now,
"the nurture and admonition of the Lord," is
such a discipline and instruction as God  bestows upon his people.  And he " chasteneth
60 
LECTUREm      IM.
and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth."
(Hieb. xii. 6.) Here, again, we are required,
then, to secure the complete obedience of our
children.
Thus positively and repeatedly has God commanded this duty; nor can parents have any
more liberty to neglect this, than any other
duty which he has enjoined. And yet, how
many who professs to take the word of God for
their guide, are just as negligent of family government, as if he had never commanded  it!
Oh, to what a fearful reckoning will such be
called, on the great day of final accounts!
But, in the second place, the importance of
fal. obedience will show more strikingly the
duty of enforcing it. As God has made us social beings, authority on the one hand, and submission on the other, are absolutely necessary
to the welfare of the fanmily, the church, and
the state. Every community needs, then, its
laws, and it appropriate persons to administer
them; and so far as disobedience prevails, it is
61 
P]ARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
ruinous to the welfare of community. It is as
much, therefore, the duty of the ruler to enforce
as of the subject to yield obedience. It is important, all will say, that children should " obey
their parents in the Lord."  All must see it
needful to the welfare of society, and especially
to the children themselves, that they be comnpletely and constantly obedient; and a disobedient child is always looked upon as a very bad
one. But, wherein is it worse for him to disobey, than for his parents to let him do it?  Ile
probably knows but little of the evil consequences of a disobedient course; while his parents know, or ought to know, that by allowing
him to disobey habitually, they are training him
to be a trouble in the family, a pest in society,
and a victim of unhappiness in time, and of misery in eternity.
On this point, Babington says:   Without
filial obedience, everything must go wrong. * 1
Is not a disobedient child guilty of a manifest
and habitual breach of the fifth commandment?
62 
LECTURE III.
And is not a parent who suffers this disobedience to continue, when he knows he is armed
with sutfficielt power to overcome it, an habitual partaker of its offense against that commandment? I-How can those who are thus criminal, hope for God's blessing on any part of their
conduct?  * *  In proportion as filial obedience
is calculated to smooth the way for true religion,
filial disobedience must produce the opposite
effect. The parent who habitually gives way
to it, has appalling reason to apprehend that he
is educating his child, not for heaven, but for
hell."  (Practical Vtew, pp. 99-101.)
It was evidently this view of the importance
of obedience, which led Solomon to say, (Prov.
xiii. 24,) "He that spareth his rod hateth his
child; but he that loveth him, chasteneth him
betimes." To those who are kept by a false,
morbid tenderness from chastising their children when they need it, and whose'" tender mercies are therefore cruel," this declaration of the
wise man may seem preposterous. But it is ev
63 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
idently the sober truth of God. For, surely, we
show most genuine love to our children, when
we seek their highest welfare; and this we do,
in thoroughly chastening them for their good.
Again: It is equally evident, that the greatest
cruelty to our children consists in doing them
the greatest iinjury; and this is done, if we spare
the rod when needed.  Said Abbot, "If there
is any cruelty that is truly frightful, it is the cruelty of a falsely indulgent parent." (Yot/her at
IHome, p. 70.)
Again: We manifest most love for our children when we practice most self-denial for
their good.  And this we do, when we judiciously chastise them for the purpose of correcting their faults, or to render them obedient -
doing it when it is very painfuil to ourselves, but
needful to them; while those who spare the rod,
in such circumstances, do it not merely out of
sympathy for their children,' but out of regard
to themselves. They spare the rod for the sake
of sparing themselves the pain of inflicting it.
64
. 
LEOTURE IIL. 
It is, therefore, a cruel selfishness which leads
them to neglect it, or, in the language of Solomon, to "hate"their children.  And how much
better is this selfishness, which ruins its object,
than that of the debauchee?
The rod is needful to the child, because, as
the text tells us, it will drive far from him that
"foolishness" or sin, which is bound up in him;
and because, as the same wise man elsewhere
says, it will " deliver his soul from hell." His
habitual insubordination to the will of his father on earth, will make him the more stubborn
toward his Father in heaven; and thus may
eventually -prevent his submission and salvation. - Hiow cruel, then, to withhold the rod that
would drive far from him a rebellion so ruin
ous.* And if, as the apostle affirms, he who
hates a brother is a murderer, then, by unavoidable inference, he who hates his child (by
sparing the rod) is a murderer.. He inflicts
death, not on the body, but on the soul. He
* Se NuQt under the Eighth Discourse.
65
W 
PARENTAL GOERNMENT.
murders the soul of his child, as I should the
body of mine, if I saw him starving, and withheld the food that would save him from death;
or, (to make the parallel most complete,) if I
saw him drowned, and would not try to restore
him, lest my tender heart should suffer on seeing the pains that would attend his restoration
from suspended animation.
I know this sin lacks one dark feature of atrocity-that of maligynant intention.  The parent
who ruins his child by indulgence, does not wish
to injure him.  But, though this relieves, it does
not remove, his guilt.  The command,  " Thou
shalt-not kill," virtually enjoins all needful care
and effort to preserve the lives of others.  Tile
parent, then, who ruins his child through indulgence, carelessness, or selfish disregard of his
highest welfare, is guilty, in the eye of heaven,
of soul-murder.
I am well aware that this charge may seem
severe. But all its severity lies in its truth. I
would speak with all tenderness; but I must
66
Ig 
LECTURE III.
say, in sincerity, that the man who brings up
his son in disobedience, thus training him to
be not only a turbulent and vicious member of
society, but a tenant of the pit of woe, is coinmmitting a worse sin than theft or robbery. Taking a thousand dollars from a neighlbor's desk,
or plundering his granary or store-what is thllat
to the ruin of a soul, and that the soul of his own
son, whom he has been the means of bringing
into life, as well as of sending to eternal death?
If I had a son under the care of others, I
would rather hlave them rob him of all his property, mutilate his limbs, and inflict all but death
upon himi, than bring him  up as many are
brought up —in ruinous indulgence and utter
disobedience. For what would it profit him to
have the whole world, its possessions and pleasures, if he should lose his own soul?  Ah! t
will be found, in the judgment, that some (,'
the worst of crimnes have been -committed b)y
parents upon their children, by withholding the
rod. And what anguish must such parents feel,
67 
PARENlTAL GOVERNMENT.
when they find that, by failing to " beat their
children with a rod," they have failed to " deliver their souls from hell."
Said Dr. Witherspoon, in writing to his friend,
on the government of children, "There is no
part of your duty, as a christian or a citizen,
which will be a greater service to the public or
comfort to yourself." What shall we think,
then, of those professing christians who are as
neglectful of this duty as if they cared not for
the commands of God, or for the welfare of their
children, or of others? For one, I know of nothing in which they need more to be reformed, and
nothing in which their complete reformation
would be more befneficial to themselves and
their children, the church and the world.
And there is another account on which it is
important that christian parents should be faithful in the government of their children. It is,
that they may deliver the church from a certain
slander under which it is suffering. It is, that
"the children of christians, and especially of min
68 
LEOTURE III.
isters, elders, and deacons, are more  disobedient than those of impenitent parents." I call it
a slander, for it is not true that the childrenl
of professors, in general, are more unnoverned
than those of non-professors. Examination has
proved the contrary. Still there are too many
facts which favor this slander.  For it is, ind(eed, true, that mnany christians,.-yes, many
ministers - are lamentably deficient in family
governinent.  And when a child disobeys, we
spontaneously blame both the child for disobeyiig, and the parent for lettin, him disobey.
Especially do we blame the christian who suffers it.  Everv professor, then, who fails to govern his household, helps to spread and confirmn
this slander. On this account, therefore, it is
the more important that he reform. If all the
children of the church were as well governed as
many of them are, religion would be far more
respected and prospered.
Especially is it important that ministers, officers, and conspicuous members of the church,
69 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
should govern their households well, their examples being so influential.  This was, doubtless,
the reason why those deficient in this duty were
not to be admitted to the offices of bishops and
deacons in the church.  -"A bishop," said Paul,
" must be blameless-one that ruleth well his own
house, having is celildren in subjection."  And,
"Let the deacons be the husband of one wife,
ruling their children and their houses well."  (1
Tim. iii. 2, 4, 12.)  This, too, is probably the reason why Eli was so signally punished when "his
sons made themselves vile, and he restrained
them not."* It was to counteract his evil example;
Many will insist that they cannot govern their
children. But this excuse must involve either
great weakness or great wickedness. All parents possessing common sense, are, or ought to
be, able to make a young child obey; and if it
be but once thoroughly subdued by the time it
is a year old, it will always be easy to govern
* 1 Sam. iii. 13.
70
r' 
LECTURE m.
it. If any are so weak that they cannot make
such a child obey, they are not fit to have the
care of children. The good of the children
themselves, and of society, requires that they
be taken from such parents, and put under competent guardians. And if any fathers and mothers that plead inability, would scorn this imputation of weakness, let them assert and putforth
their ability. But if they are actually able to
do this momentous duty of governing their children, how wicked in them to plead inability.
Some insist, that the art of family government is a natural gift, a kind of instinctive
skill, which none but certain of nature's favorites can possess. But few notions are more absurd.  Parents never fail in government through
the unavoidable deficiency of tact, but because
they voluntarily fail to seek and employ it.
Whatever of knowledge, judgment, or skill is
employed by those who " rule their own houses
well," is possessed by many, and might be pos
71 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
sessed by'all who govern ill, or rather govern
not at all.
Some probably succeed well, because they
happened to fall on the right methods of securing obedience, and get confirmed in them by
custom, or because they follow the correct
methods of their parents; while others have
failed, because they were not led aright by
providence or parental example. But they need
not have failed. Nor would they have failed,
if they had sought that instruction on the subject which they needed, and had put it properly
in practice.
It is truly astonishing how little the most of
parents inquire, or even think, about the proper
modes and means of enforcing obedience. Some
have books on the subject, yet almost never consult them. And rarely do they inquire in any
way, " How shall we order the child?" but act
wholly on occasion or impulse. Nor is it any
wonder at all that such heedless ones should fail.
They must fail in every other difficult thing to
72 
LECTURE III.
which they give as little attention. It is truly
amazing how little principle and firmness many
otherwise judicious people bring to the momentous concern of parental government. They are
so destitute of purpose and plan, so impulsive
and fickle, no wonder they are so unsuccessful.
They must fail in every critical and arduous undertaking which they manage with such a slack
and careless hand.
But it is not thus that they attend to their
other  affairs.  Mlany who value  themselves
much on being skillful and business-like, thorough
and energetic, in all their other concerns, are
utterly unskillful and bungling, loose and negligent, in the far more important business of governing their chlildrenl. Why! if a man whio has
now no control over his children, would apply
himself to the task of subduing them, with as
mnuch resolution and care, energy and perseverance, as he puts forth in the breaking (f   colt,
he would no more fail in the one than in the
other. And how much more important to train
D
73 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
a child for usefulness on earth and blessedness
in heaven, than the breaking of a horse to the
saddle or the draft.
The truth, then, is, that all parents who have
conmmon sense can govern their children, if they
will but duly inquire after the right way of doing
it, and will pursue it with proper caution and
firmness. And those who neglect to do so, are
showing no little contempt to the command of
God, and are doing incalculable injury to their
children, to their country, and to the church of
Christ. Nor will the Lord accept of their plea
of inability, but frown the more upon them for
making it.
I have treated this point the more at length,
and earnestly, because I verily believe the most
of parents are sadly nieglectfull in regard to it;
and because I am very anxious to persuade such
to resolve fully and firmly, that from henceforth
they will " do with their might " this all-imnportant duty. I am the more anxious to have them
;* ~l,this resolution, as it would prompt them
r
74 
LECTURE III.
to study this duty as they have never done before; and thus they would be the better prepared to follow me in our next inquiry, viz:
How are parents to secure thAe early and complete,
obedience of their children? which inquiry will
be the theme of the next two discourses.
Another advantage of such a resolution, would
be, the discovery that the proverb, "Where there
is a will there is a way," is most eminphatically
true in regard to this duty. Half the difficulties
thought to be in the way of governing children,
are conjured up by lazy indecisig,on.  When parents firmly resolve to do this duty, a holy courage will follow, and many a fancied difficulty
will be put to flight. Let the resolution, then,
be forthwith adopted.
75 
LECTURE IV.
GOVERN3MENT BY AUTHORITY.
PRov. xxii. 15: Foolishness is bound in the heart of a
child: but the rod of correction will drive it far from him.
IN a previous discourse we considered, in connection with these words, the sacred obligation
of parents to secure and maintain the complete
obedience of their children.  This obedience includes no less than the entire subjugation of the
will of the child to the will of hlis parents. And
we come now to consider the way in which this
subjugation should be effected.  To the proper
exercise of parental authority, four things are
requisite. One is, that the child be required to
obey, simply on the ground of the parent'8
rigyt to comnand. Another is, that obedience
be enl,freed while the child is very young. - A
third  is, that  this  obedience  be  complete,
prompt, and uniform.  And the other is, that
when punishment is necessary tc) (T nforce obe
r 
LECTURE IV.
dience, it shou7ld be ad ministered with much judgment and discretion.  We shall need to dwell on
each of these at considerable length,'apart.
1. This obedience should be required, we have
said, simply on the ground of the parent's riIght
to conmand.  Young children stand in the like
relation of authority to the "fathers of their
flesh," that we all do to "the Father of spirits."
God himself has instituted this relation, in the
command, " Ionor thy father and mother; "* for
he so recognizes and illustrates it, in the following declaration and inquiry: "A son honoreth
his father - if I then be a Father, where is mine
honor? "t Parental authority, thenil, is a parental theocracy. Fathers and mothers are God's
vicegerents in the family.  And to "bring up
their.children in the nurture and admonition of
the Lord," when they require obedience of
them, it should be on the same ground that God
claims it of us all; that is, on the ground of
right to command. There are other reasons, it
* Ex.  xx12.          t Mal. i. 6. 
PARENTAL GOvERNMENT.
is true, why we should obey him; and he sometimes urges them. But many of his commands
are such that no other reason can be given for
obeying them, but mere divine authority. And
that should always be reason enough. It was
concerning such authority that David said, " I
opened not my mouth, because thou didst it; 
that Christ said, "Even so, Father, for so it
seemed good in thy sight; t and that Paul said,
"N ay but O man, who art thou that repliest
against God.":t And so it is in regard to the
command of a parent to his young children.
They cannot, need not, know the why and the
wherefore of it.  Enough that parents have a
right to utter and enforce such a command;
whereas, if they have no right to enforce it,
without showing the reason of it, (as the advocates of the suasion system contend,) the complete obedience of the child could not be secured.
For, as it will be shown hereafter, if the child
obeys not till he is old enough to see the reasona    * Pa. xxxix 9,.       Mat. xi. 26.   t Rom. i- 20,
78
L 
LECTURE IV.
bleness of obeying, he would never become
habitually obedient; and when he did comply,
he could not be said to submit to his parents'
authority, so much as to their reaso2zing.
As early as he can understand it, the child
should be told that he is compelled to obey, not
to gratify the will of his parents, but for his own
good, and the good of others.  And this important truth should always be kept before his mnind.
It is true, too, that as his mind matures, he should
be shown more and more how reasonable and
important are the commands imposed upon hinm;
but not as a means of enforcing obedience. The
authority of the parents should always be held
out as the all-sufficient reason for obeying their
commands. But he should be shown it as an
after-work, in teaching him to govern himself.
And if they have previously, by dint of authority,
secured a full control over his will, it will Le all
the easier to teach him self-government.  As
the "check" or "gag-rein" assists the coachman to manage his horses, so the complete and
79 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENI'T.
habitual submission of the child to his parents
will make it the easier for them to guide himn by
the rein of reason. A submissive spirit is a docile one, while a stubbon one is blind and
reckless.
2. O)bedience ought to be enforced while the
child is quite young.  Just so soon as, by language or looks, tones or gestures, he can learn
the will of his parents, it is time to begin the
work of enforcing his obedience; and if the
measures recommended in my second discourse
have been faithfully tried upon him, I believe
the task of securing his obedience will not be
very difficult. But whether they have or have
not been attended to, the work should generally
be begun before he is a year old. Often it is
happily begun at the age of nine months. It
should commence thus early for two reasons.
One is, that then the will is most pliant and
easily subdued; and the other is, that then the
habit of obedience can be most easily and permanently established.
80 
LECTUIRE IV.
But many parents, instead of subduing the
will of the child thus early, are doing much to
render it more stubborn. They will not cross
his inclinations themselves, nor allow any one
else to do it.  IIe is permitted to domineer over
the older children and servants, they being required to give up their seats, and every thing
else that the little capricious tyrant happens to
desire. And the reason given ftbr doing so is,
"The child is young,"- the very reason why it
should not be done.  For, the more he is indulged, the more capricious and willful he will become, and, therefore, the more difficult it will
be to subdue him afterward. Instead, then, of
forming in him this habit of domineering, they
should form in him, now, when it can be done
most easily, the habit of obedience. Nor is it a
matter of small importance that it be done so
early that he cannot recollect having ever disobeyed; for the habit thus early formed, will render his obedience most easy and sure.
So, also, in regard tothe child's passions lva
D*                        O
81 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
ny parents allow him, (because he is so little,)
to be for a long while impatient, petulant, and
wrathful, thinking, it would seem, that they must
bear with his peevishness and spite as long as
they can.  But the greater their forbearance, the
greater their cruelty.. For these froward feelings are painful; and the longer they allow him
to indulge them, the longer they leave him to
remain unhappy.  How much more happy is the
sweetly subdued child than the one who remains rebellious. Furthermore, the longer an evil
disposition is indulged, the more confirmed it is;
consequently, the more reproof and punishment
are needed to subdue it. It may be said of willfulness and anger, as of certain diseases, that the
longer they are allowed to run, the more they will
"rage."  The more, then, they will injure the
constitution; consequently, the more painful
and difficult the cure. How much kinder, as
well as wiser, to "nip these evils in the bud."
"You should establish, as soon as possible,"
says Dr. Witherspoon, "an entire and absolute
82 
LECTURE IV.
authority. It should be early, that it may be
absolute; and absolute, that it may not be severe. If parents are too long in beginning to
exert their authority, they will find the task very
difficult. Children habituated to indulgence for
a few of their first years, are exceedingly impatient of restraint, and if they happen to be of
stiff and obstinate tempers, can hardly be
brought into a quiet avid placid submission;
whereas, if taken in time, there is hardly any
temper but what may be made to yield. And
by early habit, the subjection becomes easy to
themselves."   (Wtthersvoon's  Works, vol. 5,
p. 134.)
But if we have not begun in time to govern
our children, we ~must be the more resolute,
firm, and thorough in our efforts to subdue their
wills, as the task will then be more difficult.
For to give them up in discouragement to willfulness and disobedience, as many do, would be
most disastrous. The subjugation of their wills
83 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
is, therefore, so important, that we should by no
means fail of effecting it.
The first effort to enforce obedience is by far
the most important one. The occasion and circumstances should, therefore, be cautiously selected.   The first enforcement of authority
should be in some simple and clear case of duty,
in which it is perfectly evident that the child understands the commnand, and disobeys it through
anger or willfulness. Indeed, the like caution
should be had in all cases of discipline. But in
the first case it is most especially important.
We should be careful, moreover, never to correct
a childwhen he does not deserve it; for,- as Raffes observes, "' Where, in one instance, the infliction has been unjust, the justice of it in every other instance will be questioned."
3. The child's obedience should be complete,
prompvt and uniform.  In no one instance in
which he ought to obey, should he be allowed to
disobey. Many may think it will cost them too
much time and effort to be thus strict in paren
84 
LECTURE IV.
tal discipline.  But it is the very best way to
save them both time and trouble. If you allow
your child, at any tinme, to disobey, you teach
himn that he can and thus encourage him to do
so; and thus you prolong your contest for mnastery over him. But if you never suffer him, in
one instance, to disobey, you will soon convince
him that disobedience is impossible; and then
he will yield at once to all your commands.
For neither child nor adult will ever attempt
what he believes to be impossible. Though he
ever so much desires and tries to do a thing, yet
just so soon as he finds it impossible, he ceases
from the attempt, and soon after from the desire,
to do it. This, then, is the first and most imnportant lesson to be taught a child-the utter impossibility of disobeying his parents. Nor will it
be difficult, if you begin early, and are careful for
awhile never to suffer him to disobey, to teach
him the lesson that the thing is impossible.
Professor Lindley illustrates this, by the way
in which the farmer manages his colt. For the
85 
PARENTAL GOYVRIMET.
laws of habit are much alike in man and brute.
Hiunian nature can, therefore, be learned and illustrated by the actions of the lower animals.
"Let him take his colt," says the Professor,-" at
one, two, or three days old, each day in succession, and hold it, without letting it break from?
him; and this repeated, three or four times ili
succession, should he then let it loose for three
years, and catch it again, it would scarcely make
an effort to escape. The reason is, the imnpression of impossibility of escape is grounded in
him." (Infant PAilosopAy, p. 156.)
Many may suppose, too, that the enforcement of such complete obedience must be severe. But it is, in fact, the best way to prevent
severity; for it prevents a vast amount of scolding and whipping on the part of the parents,
and of pain, impatience, and anger on the part
of the child. How much better for him to be
so trained as to yield an unreluctant obedience,
than to be bawled and beaten into it, in opposition to his angry, stubborn will?   But on this
86 
LECTURE IV.
point let us listen again to Dr. Witherspoon.
He says,  "The authority ought, also, to be absolute, that
it may not be severe. The more complete and uni  -
form a parent's authority is, the offenses will be
more rare, punishment will be less needed, and
the more gentle kind of punishment will be
abundantly sufficient. We see, everywhere
about us, examples of this. A parent that has
obtained, and knows how to preserve, authority,
will do more by a look of displeasure, than another by the most passionate words, and even
blows. It holds universally in families and
schools — that those who keep the strictest discipline give the fewest strokes. I have frequently remarked that parents, even of the softest tempers, and who are famed for their indulgence to their children, do, notwithstanding, correct them more frequently, and even more severely, (though to very little purpose,) than those
who keep up their authority. The reason is
plain. Children, by foolish indulgence, become
87 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
often so froward and petulant in their tempers,
that they provoke their easy parents past endu rance, so that they are obliged, if not to strike,
at least to scold them, in a manner as little to
their own credit as to the children's profit.
There is not a more disgusting sight than the
impotent rage of a parent who has no authority."
( Vol. 5, p. 134.)
But when I say that parents should maintain
a complete control over their children, I do not
mean that they should notice everything which
they deem improper in them.  Many minor improprieties they would do well to overlook, lest
they should weaken their authority by a habit
of incessant fault-finding.  What I mean  is,
that whenever they do require or forbid anything, they should never, in one instance, allow themselves to be disobeyed. It is important that, at first, their commands be few, and
relate to things of most consequence. Many
err egregiously here.   Said Dr. Dick, "No
command,  either by look, word, or gesture,
88 
LECTURE IV.
should be given, which is not intended to be
enforced and obeyed. It is the rock on which
most split in infantile education, that while they
almost always are giving commands to their
children, they are not punctually obeyed, and
seem to consider the occasional violation of
their injunctions a very trivial fault, or as a
matter of course. There is no practice more
common than this, and none more ruinous to
the authority of parents, and to the best interests of their offspring. The rule, therefore,
should be absolute, that every command ought
to be enforced."  (Dike's R'orks, vol. 5, p. 88.)
This language is none too strong; for the conducet which it condemns is almost universal.
And many parents utter a hundred unobeyed
commands in a single day. No wonder, then,
that they have so little parental control. For
when their command is first given, the child
knows not whether they expect or even intend
to be obeyed. Hence, they have to repeat the
command, often many times, and with additional
89 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
declarations that they are in earnest, yet fail to
be believed till they begin to punish. And this
repetition of a command is as unwise as it is unavailing.  If a command is powerless, what is
the use of repeating it. It is adding nought to
nought.  Resort should be had to somnething
else. Let your child know that you never repeat a command; that when told to do a thing,
there must be obedience or punishment; and
then the command will need no repetition.
And the child should not only obey every
command, but obey it inmediately.  All delay
of submission is protracted rebellion. Yet many
parents seem to think, if they make him submit
anally, no matter how long they are in battling
him into submission. But all the while that
they allow him to delay obedience, they are
teaching him disobedience. Until he is made
to obey in every case immediately, there is a
continuance of the war; and each future instance of submission will cost another battle.
The early habit of entire and prompt obe
90 
LECTURE IV.
dience secures several important advantages.
Not only does it save a great deal of time
and distress in-reproof and punishment, but a
great deal of perplexity and trouble when the
child is sick. It is often very difficult to make
a sick child take his medicine. Abbot tells us
of the death of one who refused to take it, and
whose mother failed to compel him to take it.
But the child who knows not how to disobey,
will take it without hesitation. This saves both
the parent and the child a vast amount of pain
and trouble. Besides, the ungoverned child is
apt to be much more impatient and peevish in
sickness than others, and thus he injures himself and others, much and needlessly.  And it is
very difficult, in such cases, to punish or reprove him; whereas, if he had been previously
well governed, much, if not all, of this evil
might have been prevented. The usually kind,
yet firm voice of his parents, would be sufficient
to allay his irritations, and keep him quiet.
Again, many children are very troublesome
91 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
on account of their habits of being noisy, of run ning away, of getting into mischief, and of med dling with everything within their reach.  They
have to be watched and called after continually.
But this is not the case with those children who
are trained to exact and immediate obedience.
They will venture on nothing that is forbidden
them; or if they do, a word is enough to recall
them. Some insist that they cannot keep their
children from things forbidden them. But you
can teach even your domestic animals this;
and can you not teach the child as much? All
that is needful is to begin in time, and, in every
instance, to punish him so severely, that he will
be afraid to do the thing again.
Many parents fail in accepting, not only a
late, but a reluctant, partial, half-way obedience. For instance; they tell the child to leave
something with which he is meddling. But he
moves not. They then repeat the command
more sternly, or threaten him. But still he persists. And after many unavailing threats, they
92 
LECTURE Itv.
seize and drag the child away from the forbid den object. Now this is substituting for parental authority mere animal force. Instead of making the child do what he is commanded, it is
doing it for S.
Sometimes they tell the child to leave off
beating the pan or the barrel. But he beats on,
although he does not strike it so hard as before.
They next tell him to leave off entirely. And
then he strikes toward it, without intending to
Ait it; thus manifesting as much disobedience
of spirit as ever.  This, to say the least, is trifling with parental authority, and should never
be allowed For a child will never become
truly obedient till he is made properly to "honor
his father and mother." Parents who allow
themselves to be put off with anything short of
prompt and full obedience, are like the man who
shuts his door "to," but does not push it far
enough to let the latch fall and fasten it; consequently, it may be pressed open again by
every opposing influence.
93 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
4. When punishment is needed to enforce authority, it should be employed with much judgment and discretion.  It is desirable to dispense
with the rod whenever obedience can be se
cured without the use of it. But if it must be
used, it should be plied in such a way as to secure submission by the fewest strokes. Many
parents make the more severity needful, by
their own indiscretion. Some needlessly exasperate the child, by irritating language or treatment, before they chastise him; and thus it requires more stripes to subdue him. They should
manifest no anger at him; but give him, as far
as they can, to understand that they punish for
his own good and that of the household; for
this will give each stroke a greater subduing
power  and render the fewer needful.   But
others err in an opposite direction. In their
unwise tenderness, they give the child a few
light blows, just enough to make him more angry and stubborn.  And then they stop and ask
if he is going to submit. Finding that he is
94 
LECTURE IV.
not, they ply the rod a little longer and a little
harder than at first, yet only enough to make
him still more angry and stubborn; and then
they stop again to ask if he is going to yield.
But he storms out his wrath more lustily than
ever. And thus onward, the parents increase
their severity just enough to make him more
and more obstinate, till they are tempted to
give up the endeavor to subdue him. And if
they should do so, it would so encourage and confirm him in his obstinacy, that there would be
little hope of his yielding afterward. They
should conquer him thei, if they would conquer
him at all.*
* In subduing the will of an obstinate child, the firmness of
many a-mother is put to a severe trial. And she is in danger of giving over the attempt, and of thus ruining her child.
For the encouragement of such, I give the following extract
from a letter written me by a lady, while I was preparing
this work. The whole letter would be interesting, but it is
too long for insertion here. After giving a glowing account
of her adopted daughter's lovely conduct on a certain Sabbath morning, she adds:
"That little child, which, only two hours before, had
seemed as pure and holy as an angel, was now a'very thing
of madness.' The waters had been stirred -her will opt
9s 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
But the proper way is, to be more severe at
the commencement. Probably, if they had been
doubly severe at the beginning, the child would
at once have submitted; and this would have
saved him and his parents a vast amount of pain
posed; and she, for the first time in her life, refused to obey.
One hour rolled away, and kind entreaties, and gentle words,
and plain reasoning availed nothing.'I must of necessity
resort to the remedy which Solomon in his wisdom recommended.' This seemed only to infuriate; and had it not been
for the encouragement of an aged christiar, friend present,
one whose judgment could be relied upon, I fear my task
would have been too much for me. My own position, at
this time, was painfully critical, from the fact that this little
charge was the dying legacy of a sainted sister. Firmness
and duty to God and my child were all-important, then, as
the future would be marked by that hour. After giving her
sufficient time to say and feel that she was'sorry, and that
she loved mamma,' I found her lost to all penitence.  She
would toss herself to and fro upon the bed, where I had
placed her, that she might not tire herself out by efforts and
outcries.  Frequently did I turn to my friend, and in anguish ask,'What shall I do?'   His answer was,'Persevere; if you do not, you will reap sorrow for your child.
Break her will, or she will break your heart.' Then, with
uplifted heart, in strong desire for wisdom from on high, and
in the feeling that the spirit of my departed sister was hovering around that scene, I endeavored to go forward in the
way of nmy duty. Messages were sent from all parts of the
house [a large hotel] tihat I was crueiy severe; that I would
96 
LEOTURE IV.
and trouble. They should learn wisdom from
Bonaparte, in quelling the mob in Paris.  Instead of firing blank cartridges at first, as is often
done to frighten the mob, (but which only emboldens them the more, and makes it more dif
ficult to subdue them,) he mowed down many
ruin her disposition; cause her to'hate'me-friends and
servants even intruded upon my presence-but I was calm
and unmoved, and asked them to leave; the responsibility
was my own, and I believed God would bless the result.
Another; hour rolled away, and language, and tears, and
stripes were in vain.'I do not feel sorry; I do not love
mamma,' was still reiterated. I really apprehended danger
to her mental and physical powers; and the fear was fast
taking possesion of my mind, that she would not yield.
Again was a silent prayer put up. Then, while a look of
pity and anguish was cast upon my little sufferer, she looked
me intently, for a moment, in the eye, and rushed into my
arms, reiterating,'I do feel sorry; I will be a good girl   I
love God, and mamma, too.' She sank upon my bosom, covering me with kisses, and dropped to sleep.
"It being suggested by some one that she would turn away
from her mother upon waking, my husband put this suggestion to the test Placing ourselves by her bedside, when she
awakened, she gave her usually sweet smile to both of us; then
reached out her little hands for mother to please take her up,
and inquired'if she could go to church after dinner, if she
was a good child?' Since that period, we have never required anything but what has been cheerfully and immediately granted.  O,czee speaking, wit;l firmness, has been and
*e~
97 
PARENTAL GOVERNMENT.
of them at once, with a volley of balls, by which
they were at once alarmed and routed. And
afterward, he fired his blank cartridges, thus saving a vast amount of bloodshed.
More on the subject of government may be
expected in the next discourse.
is enough to command immediate obedience. And whoever knows little Addie S. will say more in praise of her loveliness than is befitting a mother. I have now toldmy painful
story, in hopes it may be the means of aiding some mother
in her duty to the little immortals committed to her love."
V
98
: 1.
*..    I  
LECTURE V.
GOVERNMENT IN LOVE.
EP]. vi. 4: And ye fathers, provoke not your children to
wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of
the Lord.
IN a previous discourse, it was maintained,
that children should obey their parents on the
same ground that all men should obey God; that
is, on the ground of their authority  But there is
another element in the government of God. It
is love.  "Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth,
and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth."
"As many as I love I rebuke and chasten."*
So, on the other hand, he requires our obedience to be prompted by love to him. Love is
the fountain from which all acceptable obedience
must flow.  It follows, then, that to "bring up
our children," in all respects, "in the nurture
* Heb. xii. 6; Rev. iii. 19.
:'rA 
GOVERN:MENT IN LOVE.
and admonition of the Lord," like him we must
be prompted by love to chastise them, and
secure from them an obedience, filial and affectionate. Properly to " honor his father and
mother," the child must both fear and love
them.  And as " Love, and love only, is the loan
of love," we should always show a warm affection and kindness toward our children. Even
when we need to chastise them, we should
show that, like our heavenly Father, we "do
not afflict willingly," but "for their profit."*
And having secured their love, we shall find it
a powerful aid in securing their obedience.
For then they will be as unwilling to grieve us
and forfeit our approbation  by  transgression,
as to feel the smartings of the switch. Not only
are love and fear compatible, but they enhance
each other.
Many maintain opposite errors on this subject. Some insist that the child should be
ruled by love alone. But our Father in heaven
* Lam. iii. 33; Heb. xii. 10.
100 
LECTURE V.
rules both by love and fear.  And so should
every father on earth rule.  If parents do not
need to threaten and punish, why is it done by
"the Lord of all?"  The truth is, that at the
early age at which the habit of obedience needs
to be firmly seated, love cannot operate with
sufficient power to secure submission. Psychology, as well as the example and command of
God, teach that the threatening and infliction
of punishment are then needed. And they are
often needed afterward. For often is love too
feeble to secure obedience. Indeed, nothing
is obedience, strictly speaking, but what is done
out of deference to authority.* Buit the remarks
of the present discourse are intended mainly
* It has been told in praise of a certain mother, that when
requested to order her children away from certain mischief,
she said to them, "The child who loves his mother best, will
come right to her." The consequence was, that every child
forsook his mischief, and rushed to his mother's side. This
was indeed better than harshly scolding, or beating them
away from it, as many would have done.  And yet this is
not exactly what was needed to be done. There was no obedience on the part of the children, for there was no command
101 
G()VILRNNIENT    i  Li,(),VI
for those who err in the ol))posite direction, of
governing by terror or pain alone.
Many parents, instead of promoting the love
and confidence of their children, are doing much
to awaken their hatred and distrust.  They are,
therefore, forbidden in the text to do so. "And
ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath;
but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." In these words, two things
are spoken of as in opposition, the one forbidden
and the other enjoined. We are here required
not to irritate our children, but, on the contrary,
to train them in that affectionate way of which
God is our example. I shall, therefore, take occasion, from the text, to consider
Some of the ways in which parents provoke
their ch' ldren to wrath, and thereby hinder their
right moral training.
Many irritate their children needlessly, by
on the part of the mother. They did ndt leave their mischief
(as children should be made to do) out of regard to the authority of the parent, but out of emulation. Each one wished
to have the credit of "loving mother best."
102 
LECTURE V.
their own evident impatience and passion. Such
ill-natured inflictions are injurious in two respects. The man who beats his child in anger,
will be likely to beat him too severely; for passionl indulged in, is seldom safe. He who has
not sufficient self-control to subdue his own temper befoibre he takes the rod, will rarely restrain
himself sufficiently while using it. Every one
who finds, as he is about to punish his child,
that there is wrath in his bosom, would do well
to heed the words of Socrates, who said to his
servant, "I would beat you, if I were not angry." The punishment should be postponed
till passion subsides.
Yet many say, as one man did to Dr. Witherspoon, "I can never chastise my child unless
I am angry with him." The doctor's reply was,
"Then you should not punish him at all."  But
a better answer would have been, "You can
punish your child out of the purest love; and
you ought always to do so, when the good of
your child requires it." The object of di
103 
GOVERNMENT IN LOVE.
pline should be the child's good, always; the
gratification of the parent's passion, never. And
they who will punish a child only when they
are angry, betray great weakness and want of
principle.
But the greater evil resulting fromn such anger is, that it tends to defeat the proper end of
chastisement, which is the moral improvement
of the child. Those who are prompted by passion to punish, are apt to overlook the criminality of his conduct, and to punish him only on
account of the injury he has done, and done,
perhaps, by accident; and whatever be the
fault for which the rod is applied, if he sees that
the infliction is prompted by passion, he will
regard it, not as "the rod of correction," but of
parental wrath.  And then, no moral  benefit
can result from it. But how different would be
the impression and result, if he saw that while
his parents were chastising him they lIved him
as much as ever, and that every stripe was as
painful to.their hearts as to his body! This
104 
LECTURE V.
mode would be suited to promote his sorrow,
submission, and reformation, while the other
would make him more angry and stubborn than
before. Hlow unwise, then, are those parents
who tell their child they are angry with him for
his ill conduct!  How much better to tell him
they are distressed and grieved!
"Punishments," says Babington, "should be
employed reluctantly; and yet how often are
they inflicted in such a way that there is no reluctance apparent, but they appear to afford a
gratification. It would give me pain to describe the scenes that I have witnessed, when a
child has been under the correction of a passionate, ill-humored parent. Certainly, punishment, under such circumstances, takes a most
offensive form, and is likely to do much more
harm than good."  (Practical View, p. 114.)
Many provoke their children to wrath, in not
chastising them sufficiently to subdue them.
They-slap or switch them just enough to make
them the more angry, and leave them tQ pout
105 
GOVERNMENT IN LOVE.
or bawl, which only makes the case worse. A
child should never be left, after chastisement,
in an angry or sullen mood; never.  While he
should not be punished for crying from pain, he
always should for crying from anger; nor
should the chastisement cease till his spirit is
subdued.
Many needlessly stir up the anger of their
child, by severe looks and language, before or during the infliction of punishment; and many may
err, as I have done, in assuming a stern manner
for the purpose of awakening the more fear in
the child. I am now convinced, that a mild,
affectionate, yet serious, determined manner is
much the most effective one. It will secure the
parent against the suspicion of being angry, and
thus give his reproof the more power. In the
words of Dr. Dick, again, "Reproof or correction, given in a rage, and with words of fury, is
always considered as the effect of weakness and
want of self-c6mmand, and uniformly frustrates
106 
LECTURE V.
the purpose itwas intended to subserve."  (Vol.
5, p. 88.)
Many provoke their children by the morose
or irritating manner in which they utter their
commands. By the severity of their looks and
tones, they make the impression that the duty
commanded is an odious one; consequently,
the child braces himself in wrath, against it.
Whereas, if the same duty had been required
in a mild and affectionate manner, his first impression would have been that the duty was
right and agreeable; consequently, he would
have at once obeyed. And somle parents command, not only in an irritating way, but ill a
way indicating that they do not expect to be
obeyed, till they have scolded and switched
awhile; whereas. they should do it in a way indicating that they fully expect immediate obedience.
Many provoke their children by a profusion, not
only of bitter reproaches, but of odious epithets.
"leanness," "badness," "villain," " scamp,"
"dog," and the like, are the offensive terms which
.Lt i~
w, 
GOVERNMENT IN LOVE.
they 6ften apply to those who are, or should be,
very dear to them. Such language, coarse and
cruel, seems intended to irritate; and it certainly
has the effect. It may be well, at times, to reason
and remonstrate affectionately with our children, in order to show them the evil and folly
of their doings.  But all angry, boisterous rebukes, and hard names are pernicious. And,
generally speaking, if one soleminn rebuke is not
enough to bring them to obey, it is vain to repeat it. Those, therefore, who scold most, govern least. If, then, we would have obedient
children, we should reprove but once before we
chastise effectually.
Many provoke their children by their austerity and distance. We should be so reserved
and dignified in our conduct toward them as to
avoid " the familiarity which breeds contempt; "
yet we should be so affectionate and companionable as to win their loye and confidence.
But, by keeping them at a distance, and treating them austerely, we shall provoke their dis
108 
LECTURE V.
like and distrust. The dislike thus awakened,
would not be so much a high ebullition of anger,
as a settled coldness and hate. But this would
greatly increase the difficulty of maintaining
proper dominion over them. Those who govern thoroughly, yet austerely, do better than
those over-fond and weak-minded ones who do
not govern at all. But it is better still, by far,
to do it thoroughly, and, at the same time,
with affection and due familiarity.
Another way of provoking to wrath, is byfavoritism.  Mfany parents feel more attachment
to some of their offspring than to others; and
manifest it in a way that awakens envy toward
their favorites, and resentment against themselves; and the anger thus awakened will render it the more difficult to keep in sweet subjection these dissatisfied ones.
And another way in which children are provoked to anger, is by withholding the approbation and praise that is due them when they do
well, and by failing to encourage them onward,
109 
GOVERNMENT IN LOVE.
in the right way. Children are apt, it is true,
to desire more praise than is due, and to make
a bad use of it. We should, therefore, bestow
it discreetly, and be careful to make them understand that they have no claim upon us for
doing their duty; that we are not paying for
their past, nor purchasing   their future obedience, but are showing how much it gratifies us
to have them act right.
Yet we should watch their evil more than
their good conduct, as it is more needful to
them. And it is a very mistaken notion that
love is necessarily blind to the faults of its
object.
"I say such love is never blind, but rather
Alive to every, to the minutest spot
Which was its object, and which hate supposed
So vigilant and searching dreams not of."
Browning.
Still, it is very important'that we take favorable notice of the good conduct of our children;
for they need such encouragement. I have
110 
LECTURE V.
known some who suffered much for the want of it.
They were under strict, severe treatment; and,
as they were still dull and heedless, they were
supposed to be peculiarly perverse. But it was
not so.   They had their good qualities, yet
nothing to call them out; but were completely
disheartened by hearing no kind words-l-nothing
but unceasing censure for stupidity and stubbornness. They needed, now and then, a kind
word of praise and persuasion, to inspirit them.
In one instance, I knew a change of treatment to
take place, and the result was a happy one.
'"The stupid, stubborn girl" became a respectable woman - and wife.
To the Colossians, Paul said, "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."  And it is this incessant faultfinding,
and this utter absence of approbation, which are
most apt to promote that continual irritation
which ends in discouragement. Children, treated
in this way, are often heard to say, "It is of no
use for us to try to please our parents. For when
111 
GOVERNMENT IN LOVE.
we do the best we can, we hear nothing but an'
eternal ding-dong of complaint  and blame."
And then they give up trying to please.  If such
parents would test "the omnipotence of kindness," they would find it much to their own coinfort, and far more to the welfare of their children.
Finally, parents provoke their children to
wrath by improperly induginyg t/e~m.  They
foster thereby a fastidious, arrogant, irritable
disposition. It is mainly by such management
that the "spoiled child" is made.  Petted ones
are usually impatient and passionate ones; and
in proportion as their wills and wishes have been
previously indulged, will be their restiveness and
wrath, when their inclinations happen to be
crossed - and crossed they often must be when
they go abroad.   And this will render it the
more difficult to govern them.
It is evident from observation, that those children who are properly restrained, are, generally
speaking, far more affectionate than those who
are excessively indulged.  I believe the most
112 
LECTURE Y.
grievous cases of filial ingratitude and cruelty
have been committed by those who have been
most humored.
Thus we see it is important to keep from provoking our children in these various ways, because of its bearing on parental government.
But it is equally important, on account of its
bearing on parental instruction; and it is no
less by teaching, than by restraining our children, that we are to train them up in the way
they should go. The influence of anger on parental instruction is both direct and indirect.
Its indirect influence is through parental authority. For the most obedient children are
most attentive to what is taught them. See that
mother, who has no control over her child. She
is trying to teach him the alphabet. She points
t        o A, and says " Wh at letter is that?"  But he
p    a    y    s no attention to her.  She reproves him,
and pointing again to the letter, she says, what
is that? still he pays no attention. She repeats
again and again, to no purpose. He is so ac                                   8
113 
GOVERNMENT IN LOVE.
customed to disregard his mother's command,
that it is no wonder she finds it so difficult to secure his attention.
Not so with the mother who has complete conIrol over the will of her son. When she tells
him to look at A, B, and C, he knows of no way
but to attend to them immediately. And so it
is as to all her instructions. The child that is
under most complete command, is the one most
easily taught. It is the more important, then,
that we " provoke not our children to wrath,"
lest we thus impair our authority, and thereby
impede our parental instructions.
But the direct influence of anger on instruction is much more injurious; for the success of
instruction depends much on the state of the
child's mind, while receiving it. It is difficult
for any one to give good attention to the teachings of others, while his mind is agitated, especially if agitated with anger at his teachers. It is
important, therefore, that the minds of our children be kept as placid and pleasant as possible,
114 
LECTURE V.
while we are instructing them. We should be
careful, then, to avoid everything that would
needlessly irritate, and thus unfit them fbr heed ing our instructions aright.
And attention is still more difficult, when there
is a strong dislike both to the teacher and to the
lesson taught.  Scholars seldom learn well, when
they dislike their instructor. Either they set less
value on what he teaches, or they are unwilling
to gratify him by learning it. We should strive
the more to gain and keep the love and esteem
of our children, in order to have them profit the
more by our instructions.
But our children have a strong native dislike
to much that we need to teach them. And this
dislike is much stronger when they are irritated,
than when they are in a kind and pleasant mood.
We should be very careful, therefore, not to increase this, their aversion, by provoking them to
wrath. Moreover, we should present our unwolcome instruction in a way least calculated
to wake up their oppositionl-present them in
115 
GOVERNMENT IN LOVE.
such language, looks, and tones as are best fitted
to show religion in its real loveliness. Yet many
a parent is rousing much needless opposition, by
the austere manner in which he teaches religious
truth. Instead of doing so, they should be so
cheerful and affectionate themselves, and speak
of religious things in that pleasant manner, which
will best show that wisdom's ways " are ways of
pleasantness, and all her paths are peace." But
more of this in the next discourse.
In conclusion, let me illustrate the importance
of the two commands of the text, by contrasting
the family in which the children are. "provoked
to wrath," with the one in which they are
"brought up in the nurture and admonition of
the Lord." In the former, if the parents command, it is in a sour or crusty manner.  If they
reprove, it is in harsh language, often interlarded
with low or insulting epithets. If they punish,
it is with fretfulness or rage; Many commands
are given, yet few obeyed; many chastisemenets
threatened, yet few inflicted. The parents liter
116 
LECTURE V.
ally quarrel with, rather than govern, their children, and hlave the best of the contest, only as
they are the strongest party. And the children,
catching the spirit of their parents, command
and accuse, threaten and beat each other.
Scarcely any kind words are exchanged in the
family. Between the railing of the parents and
the romping and clamor of the children, you can
hardly converse. In some families, you will find
all these features; and in not a few, will you
find too many of them.*
Let us next turn to a more welcome scene. It
is the family in which every command is obeyed
without delay, murmur, or reserve. And how
is such immediate and entire obedience secured?
Is it by threatenings, uttered in such loud and
terrific tones as makes the child quail at once
into compliance?   No;  not a harsh word is
spoken. Is it, then, by such a severe infliction
of the rod as drives the child in terror or in pain
* In confirmation of this, see "Mother at Home," pp. 123-4,
and "Infant Philosophy," p. 210.
117 
GOVERNMENT IN LOYE.
to submission? No; not a stripe has been given. The parent speaks firmly, but affectionately,
and that is enough. The child feels it no hardship. to obey, for he knows not what it is to disobey.  And the "habit" of obedience "has become his second nature." Hle is saved, therefore, not only from the pain inflicted in repro(of
and punishment, but from the no little misery
which the disobedient child is inflicting on himself all the time that he delays, in surliness and
wrath, to do what is commanded him. Where
the habit of immediate and complete obedience
is early fixed, there is no occasion for anger,
scolding, and flogging on the part of parents,
nor any for crying, complaint, or anger, on the
part of the children. All things move on,therefore, ill complete tranquillity and concord. The
parents are familiar and affectionate, the children loving and confiding; consequently, there
is no room for vexation and strife. We may say
of this family, somewhat as was said of that
which contrasts with it, that in some households
118 
LECTURE V.
you will find all these features, and in many you
will find more or less of them.
How different must be the influences of these
two families upon their inmates, and upon society. Whlat a misfortune to be brought up in
the former; what a blessing to be brought up in
the latter-especially as it is so well fitted to prepare its inmates for usefulness on earth and
blessedness in heaven. htow important, then,
that we keep our children from the pernicious
influence of the former, and subject them to the
blessed influence of the latter; in other words,
that we make our households what they ought
to be, by " not provoking our children to wrath,
but bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
The motives that urge to this duty are peculiarly powerful.  How, as we think of our intimate connection with our children, as we see
our own features in their faces, and consider that
our own blood is coursing their veins, how can
we provoke them by abusive language or other
119 
120          GOVERNMENT IN LOVE.
cruel treatment that is needless?  While ardent
parental love impels us to labor and suffer so
much for their tek oral welfare, and fills us with
anguish to see them exposed to suffering and
death, how can we be so regardless of their
spii~tual and eternal welfare, as to expose them,
through our anger, heedlessness, or false tenderness, to eternal death? Let us rather resolve so
to train them, that they shall all belong to " the
household of God, both on earth and in heaven." 
LECTURE VI.
PARENTAL INSTRUCTION.
DEUT. vi., 6, 7: These words which I command thee this
day, shall be in thine heart. And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children.
IN these words, parents are virtually required
to teach their offspring all the duties which they
owe to themselves, to their fellow men, and to
God. The object of the present discourse is to
show, that such instruction should be early and
industriously given.
Parental instruction should be given early,
for many of those notions and maxims which
shape a man's course and character for life, are
acquired in early childhood, while he is under
the eye and action of his parents. It is of vast
importance, therefore, that they be early on the
alert to guard him against those that are evil, 
PARENTAL INSTRUCTION.
and imbue him with those that are good. Many
of the pernicious notions and habits on which
men act through life, they acquire from the conversation and manners of their associates. Parents should, therefore, be very cautious how
they speak and act before their young children,
and to what influence, from nurses and companions, they allow them to be exposed. Moreover,
as much knowledge of right and wrong may be
taught by looks, tones, and actions, and many
good habits given through their sympathy and
imitativeness, the best influences of the kind
should be brought to bear upon them.
I would now speak mainly of oral instruction. It needs to be deferred, for a while,
till some knowledge of language is acquired.
But such time may be very profitably occupied
in modeling the disposition and subduing the
will of the child, thus preparing him the better
for receiving instruction. For we have seen,
that the more quiet his temper, and the more
cheerful and complete his obedience are, the
122 
Ll'cT URE VI.
more readily and profitably he will listen to the
teachings of his parents.
Yet the time for commencing oral instruction
is much earlier than many imagine.  For the
child understands the meaning of words long
before he can speak them. Dr. Dick thinks he
does it at the age of eight mionths. Certainly,
by the aid of mnotions, looks, and tones, he can
be made to understand many words within the
first year. And later than this the parent's instructions should inot be delayed. True, his first
lessons must be very simple, and relate to what
is most familiar to the child; as, for instance,
first, what will injure himself, and then, what
will injure others.   Then from these he  can
pass, step by step, to those things that are more
and more complex and difficult.
That training of the habits and the will which
was begun by silent influence and continued by
parental authority, should nowl be confirmed
and completed by instruction.  And early should
*he child be taught, not only what conduct, but
1 2'0 
PARENTAL INSTRUCTION.
what feelings, are due to others. Nor should
we fail to teach him what God has so often taught
us, viz: that the right regard and treatment of
others are ultimately best for ourselves.
In order to aid us in the instruction of children, God has given them a very inquisitive disposition. Hence, they are continually asking
questions. This disposition should not be repressed by neglect or reproof. Yet many children are in the habit of asking what they need
not know, or what they know already; or, of
teasing for answers while their parents are talking with others. Such practices should never
be allowed, for they are troublesome and disgusting. But all proper questions should be
promptly and cheerfully answered.
Early, too, should the child be taught to avoid
those rough and crabbed tones and actions which
will be unfavorable to his enj'oyment and usefulness in mature life. For what he forms the
habit of doing in the family, when a child, he
will be likely to practice in society, when a man.
124 
LECTURE VI.
But especially should he be taught all his moral
duties.
"Morality," says Dr. Dwight, "begun  in
truth and advanced in justice, is finished in
kindness.   The minds of children may be easily rendered kind by a wise cultivation; and
by the want of it, will easily become unfeeling
and cruel. Children should be taught, the very
first moment they are capable of being taught,
a lively tenderness for the feelings, the sufferings, and happiness of all beings with whom
they are conversant. * * * Even a child
should be instructed to exercise kindness toward
animals, and to shun cruelty, even to an insect.
The plunder of birds' nests and the capture of
their young, is, in all ordinary cases, an employment fitted only to harden the heart, and
prepare it to be insensible to human suffering."
Hie might have put in this category, the practice of setting dogs to fight, shooting harmless
birds, pelting other animals, and many like cruelties.  But our author continues:  "Children
125 
PARENTAL INSTRUCTION.
should never injure other animals without re proof, solemnly administered.   *  X   *  All
their unkindness to others, which falls within
their knowledge, should be strongly Lnd un conditionally reprobated; at the same time,
every instance of spontaneous tenderness and
beneficence should be strongly commended."
(Dwigltt's Theology, Sermon  111.)
But the duties of truth and honesty require
a fuller notice, for they are most momentous and
ennobling virtues; while lying and injustice
are most detestable and pernicious vices. And
to these vices children show an early and strong
propensity. I will not say, as some do, that all
this propensity is the result of example, and
other external influences.  But I must think a
vast amount of it is. For as we shall show, in
another place, many parents teach their children lying and deceit most industriously, while
they should be striving constantly and vigorously to check their native inclination to these
vices.
126 
LECTURE VI.
Some little children, like little George Washington, will not lie, even to escape reproof or
punishment. And such, like him, will lay the
foundation of a virtuous, worthy character. I
have known some men noted for integrity and
moral worth, who in childhood had been detected in a falsehood, but who, having been
faithfully chastised for it, were never known to
lie again; while, probably, of all the cheats and
liars that now abound, not one of them was
properly chastised for falsehoods when young.
It is immensely important, then, that children
be early and strictly trained to honesty and
truth, by instruction enforced by authority.
And so, also, with regard to all other duties to
our fellow men. If we would have our children
become happy and prosperous, useful and worthy members of society, we should train them
early in all the moralities of life.
But it is the duties of religion in which our
children need most instruction; and this kind
of instruction, too, should begin very early.
127 
PARENTAL INSTRUCTION.
The most of christian parents delay it quite too
long. It should be commenced before the mind
of the child gets preoccupied with false notions,
and while the heart is most tender, and, therefore, most susceptible of good impressions. Parents succeed in making their young children
understand their instructions about worldly
things. And if they would he equally skillful
and persevering in trying to make them understand religious truth, they might impart to them
a vast amount of most important information.
We make our children understand, very early,
that we love to have them act right, and that
we are displeased, and must punish them if they
do wrong. And from this we can proceed to
teach them, of their "Father in heaven;" that
he is angry with us, his children, when we do
wrong, and must punish us, unless we leave our
sins. We make them understand, too, that they
should love and obey us, their parents on
earth. And from this we can proceed to teach
them that they should love and obey their
128 
"Father in heaven,"  who gives them life Sad
all its blessings; consequently, that it is very
wicked not to love so good a being. Thence,
we can proceed, from step to step, through all
the essential duties of religion. And such instruction is especially needful to those who have
to leave home while young, whether for service,
for apprenticeship, or for school. For they need
to be strongly fortified by early education, in
order to resist the evil influences that will thee
throng around them.
lIany of the facts, precepts, and principles
that are taught in the bible, may be learned by
the child, before he can read the holy records.
Parents can translate them, so to speak, into the
child's dialect, and thus enable him to understand them. Many a child has learned, in this
way, more of the bible before he could read it,
than many an adult reader has. And the truths
thus early taught will make the deepest impression, and be the best remembered. How much
better, then, to store his mind with these triuthi
Ito,
LtMLTRP"Vl. 
PARENTAL INSTRIUCTION.
than with the stories of witches, ghosts, hol)bgoblins, with "raw heads and bloody bones," by
which he becomes so frightened as to be always
afraid when alone in the dark.
Some, I wish I could say many, parents help
their children while thus young, to commit to
memory those excellent hymns which Dr. Watts,
Jane Taylor, and others have written for infant
minds, to store them with important religious
truths.  And how  much  better this than to
teach those silly, sickening doggerels that are
taught by many a mother.   How long shall
these nonsensical, disgusting things be employed
in training to giddiness, frivolity, and "fun,"
those children that are pledged to be "brought
up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
But as early as possible, should the child be
taught to read the bible, and to learn its truths
by himself. Nor has he, as many suppose, such
a strong native aversion to'it as will render it
very difficult to make him study it. Much of
the aversion to it is the result of parental mis
130
w 
LECTURE VI.
management. Some require their children to
read the bible as a punishme/t; and there is no
surer way to make them hate it. They should
rather be allowed to read it as a privileye. If
we would begin early, and manage wisely, we
can waken our children to a deep interest in
many facts recorded in God's word.   If we
were to speak of them as "the pretty and wonderful stories" found in the bible, they would
soon be on the hunt for them. Children delight
in the marvelous. And what more wonderful,
than the miraculous events and extraordinary
characters which the word of God describes.
I have known my sons, while young and impenitent, to be so much interested in bible narratives, that when, in the course of family reading, we entered on one of them, they would return to it as soon as prayer was over, nor cease
till they had read the whole of it.
The precepts, also, and the doctrines of the bible, should be early taught; and, first of all, the
Ten Commandments and the Savior's Golden
131 
PARENTAL INSTRUCTION.
Rule. Early, too, should the Shorter Catechism
be taught. I believe a better summary of scripture doctrines cannot be found. I know its language is better suited to a student in divinity
than to a child. But this defect, if it be one,
can be easily remedied by parents. They can
simplify, explain, and illustrate its meaning;
thus rendering it at once more easy and inter
esting.  But, even if the child is compelled to
the task of committing to memory what he does
not understand, the labor is not lost. Like the
student in grammar, who has at first to commit
to memory much in which he sees neither use
nor meaning, he may find, in the end, much
meaning, profit, and pleasure. But many have
not found these benefits till late in life, when
they have burst at once upon them through the
converting grace of God. And then they have
been surprised that they could remember the
language of the Catechism so distinctly, and see
its meaning so vividly.
And there are many other books that should
.132 
LECTURE''I.
be in the hands of children. Time was, when
"Pilgrim's  Progress,"  " Janeway's  Tokens,"
and'" Watt's and Taylor's Itymns for Infant
lMinds," were about all the books that were fit
for their perusal. But, since the days of Sabbath schools, a vast amount of juvenile literature of salutary character has been provided.
And parents should see that their children are
supplied with such books as are best suited to
improve their minds and hearts.  What a pity,
that instead of these, there should be found in
the families of professed christians such contemptible trash as "Mother Goose," "Mother
Hubbard," -" The Old Dame,  and her Silver
Sixpence," "Tom Thumb," and a score of others
like them.
But many a parent seems to think, that as he
sends his children to Sabbath school, he is absolved from the'duty of teaching them at home.
Yet the Sabbath school teacher is only his assistant, not his substitute; an aid that should
encourage him to do more, not less. For what
133 
PARENTAL INSTRUCTION.
he does, will benefit his children the more by
means of the Sabbath school. He should teach
his children much that is not, and perhaps cannot, be taught in the school. Hie should, moreover, aid his children in getting their lessons,
and see that they go and recite them. If lihe
cannot become a teacher himself, he should at
least visit the school, in order to encourage both
his children and their teachers. And if the
Commrnandments and Catechism are not taught
in the school, they should be the more thoroughly taught at home. lIe should, moreover,
require them to read the bible by course, and encourage them to inquire into its meaning, faithfully and affectionately answering their questions, till it can be said of them, as of Timothy,
that "'from a child he had known the scriptures that are able to make himt wise unto salvation." X
But the proper matter and amount of parental instruction is not enough. Much de
* 1 Tim. iii. 15.
134
P-, 
LECTURE VI.
pends on the manner and spirit in which it is
given. It should always be given in an earnest
and serious -manner, but never in a sour or sanctimonious one, much less in a severe, censorious
one; for it will impede the child's progress in
divine truth, and make the impression on his
mind that religion is cheerless and unlovely.
Many parents err egregiously in this respect.
They need, therefore, to be cautioned the more
earnestly to be always affectionate and cheerful
when speaking on the subject of religion, so as
to leave the impression that it is amiable and
delightful, and, therefore, that the way to be
happy is to be good.  Much more needs to be
said on this subject, and much more I hope to
say in another place.
But, says the skeptic, "Let the child alone,
till he is old enough to judge for himself what
religious opinions to adopt." Yet a more absurd sentiment could scarcely be urged. If it
be valid as to religion, it must be valid as to all
secular affairs. I would, therefore, ask the infi
135 
PARENTAL INSTRUCTION.
del, and all others who urge this sentiment, (for
it is urged by mnany who would not like to be
classed with the rejectors of revelation,) Why
not carry out this notion into all the concerns
of life?  Why teach your children to read? or
why send them to school? Why not wait till they
are old enough to judge for themselves, whether
they had better learn to read, write, and "cypher?'"  For some insist, you know, that mankind would be better without the knowledge of
letters, as it makes men proud and dishonest.
They, therefore, boast of having never gone to
school, to learn counterfeiting and other knaveries.  And how do you know but your children would "think just so, too," if you did not
bias their minds by early education? It is not
probable that one in ten of your children would
have any learning, if left to themselves.
And why teach your children that it is wicked
to lie and steal, rob or murder? It mray be that,
if left to themselves till old enough to judge for
themselves, they would think it best for them to
la, 
LECTURE VI.
live as others do, by lying and theft, violence
and bloodshed. Then, why not leave them, unbiased by early education, to take their own
way?
Do you say, "This would be dangerous to
them, as they would be liable, if left to themselves, to take to wrong courses; and as we are
their natural guardians, it is our duty to warn
them from the wrong, and urge them to the
right way?"  All this is most evidently true.
And it is as evidently and emphatically true in
relation to the principles of religion. You learn
not only from the bible, but from your own experience and observation, that your children,
like all others, are prone to wrong opinions and
practices; and that, therefore, they need to be
guarded against them by instruction and restraint.  If, then, you know " the better way,"
it is your duty to teach your offspring to walk
in it.
And this infidel sentiment is asmuch at war
with philosophy as with revelation. It is well
137 
PARENTAL INSTRUCTION.
known by those who understand the laws of
mind, that the younger the child is, the more
easily his opinions and habits are formed, and
the more firmly they are fixed. Consequently,
the earlier he embraces an error, or commences
an evil course, the more difficult it is to turn
him from it. So, on the other hand, the earlier
the truth is implanted and the course of duty begun, the more probable it is that they will be
abiding.
How evident, then, that you should urge upon
your children, as early as possible, the adoption
of right principles and right practices, especially
as the longer they are left to themselves, the
surer they will be to go wrong through life.
What! would you suffer your sons to follow the
multitude in the use of tobacco or alcohol, in
hopes that "when they come to years of discretion," they will see their folly, and forsake it?
No; you would say, "The power of examnple
and custom is so strong, that I fear my sons
would get their taste and habit so confirmed
138 
LECTURE VI.
that theywould never break away from them."
And if the danger is so great in cases where the native taste is oppo8ed, (as in the case of tobacco and
alcohol,) how much greater where the native
inclination is strongly in favor of error and sin?
As, then, the consequences of evil are infinite,
it is unspeakably important that right instruction be given, early and earnestly.
Nor will such instruction hinder the child's
judging correctly of religion, when he does arrive at maturity. It will rather aid him to
judge the more correctly.  Such instruction
will exercise his intellect, thus invigorating and
improving it. It will also give him more information as to the evidences, nature, and tendencies of religion.!Ie can, therefore, judge
more understandingly. And though the habit
of believing it true may somewhat incline him
to continue of that opinion, yet it will not overbalance his native inclination to reject it.  And
while the counter influences are so nearly poised,
il wvill be less difficult to jndge correctly.   c(ow
139 
PARENTAL INSTRUOTION.
absurd the notion, then, that young children
should be left without religious instruction!
And this notion is as Iernicious as it is preposterous. For, if fathers and mothers will not
teach their children, Satan will. Something
they will be learning continually. And it is
for parents to say, whether that something shall
be good or evil, and whether it shall lead their
offspring to "glory and honor," or to "shanme
and everlasting contempt." Hie, then, who neglects the proper religious instruction of his children, is inflicting upon them an infinite wrong,
as it leaves them so liable to incalculable evil,
both in- this life and the life to come.  While,
on the other hand, if he would instruct them as
fully and as affectionately as he ought, they
would usually be converted ill youth, live happy
and useful lives, and be finally saved with an
" eternal salvation." But on this point I hope
to dwell at large in a future discourse.
140 
LECTURE VII.
PARJENTAL MISMANAGEMENT.
Ps. 19, 12: Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou
me from secret fault.
IN these words two things are virtually taught.
One is, that is is difficult to know our own faults.
The other is, that it is desirable to have our
faults pointed out, in order to avoid them.
And these things are emphatically true as to the
management of parents in the government and
instruction of children. I shall take cocasion
from the text, therefore, to notice some important errors in parental training.  Solie of them
have been already glanced upon.  But it is
needful to dwell more upon them, and to place
theni; together with others, in the same discourse,
that the reader may more easily refer to them
afterward. They are such as I have often no 
PARENTAL ERRORS.
ticed during the thirty-eight years of my mninistry, in which I have visited twenty states and
several thousand families. My readers should
judge for themselves, wvhich of these errors are
their own, and consider the importance of immediately avoiding them.
These errors would all be prevented by the
proper exercise of Love, Consideration, and
Firmness. The proper exercise of love to their
children, joined  with  consideration,  would
prompt parents to ascertain how they ought to
train them. And this, with a proper amount
of firmness, would cause them to act accordingly. - And the same love, consideration and
firmness are needful, in order to search out and
correct the errors of the past.
Many err in always speaking to their children in words and tones of authority.  We
should command only when it becomes necessary. Having gained a fiull' control over our
children, it is better generally to say to them,
"I wish you to do this; " or, "Will  you do
142 
LECTURE VI.
that?" For this gentleness of manner would
secure the more love from them, and give the
more force to our words, when we do command.
While, if we are continually and sternly bidding them, it will have the same effect upon
them that the farmer has upon his team by chiding and lashing them incessantly.  They soon
care nothing about it.
And some go still further. They allow their
children the habit of always speaking authoritatively and harshly, not only to each other, but
to themselves. Nothing is asked-everything
is demanded. And this tends to make them of
a rougl,- despotic disposition.   If we would
have our children sweet and amiable in heart
and behavior, we  must not permit them to
speak thus sternly to others.
Manv err in punishing the child in such a
way as to show that their object is to give vent
to their anger, or at best to express their displeasure at his ill conduct.  Whereas, they
should tell him their object is his good, and
143 
PARENTAL ERRORS.
should show in their manner the sincerity of
their declaration.  Many are, and more should
be, in the habit of spending considerable time
with the child alone, seriously, yet affectionately, admonishing him  respecting his fault,
showing him the need of chastising him for it,
and praying with him for a blessing on the chastisement. Not a few have done so with the
happiest  results.   For  their children  have
yielded at once, and shown a great change for the
better, ever afterward. But if they do not yield
at first, the punishment should be continued till
they do submit, show sorrow, and seek forgiveness, and not be left, as many  are, to bellow
and storinm; for this would only make them
worse.  Solomon said, "Chasten thy son, while
there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his
crying.* And he might have said, spare not till
he CEASES crying.  For outcries under the rod are
usually the ebullitions of anger, that cease when
he is completely subdued. Yet when he submits,
* Prov. xi 1.
144 
LECTURE VII.
he should be affectionately and fondly received.
But many parents taunt and twit him, afterward,
about it, either in anger or in sport-both of
which sadly impair the reformatory influence of
punishment.
Many err in fostering in their children the
taste and habit of destructiveness. It begins,
generally, in tearing flowers, papers, and books;
next, perhaps, in breaking or whittling other
things at home; and, afterward, in defacing
their seats in school or church. And it tends to
make them unsafe and  mischievous, reckless
and wasteful. In all after life they will probably be the more careless of their own property
and that of others.  Both their own welfare and
the public good require that such a habit be
prevented.   We  should, therefore, teach our
children that it is wicked, and should restrain
them from it.
The error of some is, that when their child is
doing wrong, they turn away and pretend not
to notice him. This they do to avoid the trouble
145 
PARENTAL ERRORS.
of correcting him. But though minor offenses
may be overlooked, serious ones never should.
These parents seem to suppose that, in such cases, the child thinks he is not detected in his
wrong doing.  But he should rather be taught
that he cannot escape detection. And if he is
not corrected for a wrong act, he will be the
more emboldened to repeat that and others of
the kind, thinking either that he shall not be
detected, or that though detected, he shall not
be reproved.
The error of other parents is, that they educate their children to be Xckle and fastidious,
restles8  and arrogyant.  They do it by giving
them too many toys or other gratifications at
once, or changing them too often. They do
it by asking, at table or elsewhere, " Will you
have some of this?  Will you have some of
that?" And it is soon found that they are hard
to please. As the child hardly knows what to
choose, the father places something on his plate;
but it is met with a flash or explosion of dis
146 
LECTURE VII.
pleasure not a little annoying to others at the
table. Such a child will clamor and storm if
he is not the first to be waited on. And he will
probably become self-important and whimsical,
arrogant and willful, and finally fixed in these
habits, perhaps for life.  Such a treatment will
be apt, also, to impair the child's appetite and
health. For, he will probably choose such food
as is most unfit for him. Hiis parents ought to
know what is best for him, and to decide accordingly. And when his own choice is least
consulted, he will be most easily satisfied, most
contented and happy.
The chief aim of many fond parents is to delight their children.  Hence, their profusion of
toys, trinkets, and other " pretties," the nuts, candies, etc., for early childhood. Hence, their
many ornaments and fine dresses, amusements
and parties of pleasure, for more advanced life,
and their contrivances to make play of everything. These things tend to make children giddy
and pleasure-loving, careless and impatient of
147 
PARENTAL ERRORS.
labor; thus unfitting them for the sober and
needful concerns of life. When young, they
will read nothing, unless it be amusing stories;
when older, nothing but novels, romances, and
the like trashy and useless productions. And,
through life, they will probably be on chase for
pleasures, and thereby become comparatively
useless to themselves and their fellow men.
Children should be trained tot usefulness, not
.pleasure.  Rather, they should be taught to find
their highest enjoyment in acts of justice and
benevolence. They should, for this purpose, be
early accustomed to regular times of earnest
thought and active employment. It is, however,
the prominence and excess of amusements and
pleasures that I would condemn, not a moderate
share of them.  Much less is it sadness or depression that I would recommend, but a sobriety
consistent with cheerfulness.
But many who mismanage thus, are doing it
not so much for their children's pleasure as for
their ow-n. They make mere playthings of them.
!48 
LE,CTtRE VI[.
Of such a parent Babington says, "What would
he say of any one who threw about his gold repeater as if it were a ball, or sported with his
wife's jewels as if they were marbles? And yet
his own folly is infinitely greater. The creatures
whom he places in such danger for his sport,
are infinitely more precious than gold which
perisheth; and pearls and diamonds are worthless compared with them." (Practical View,
p. 48.)
Many err in such management of their children as makes them rougA, disrepectful, contradietious, a      lndift-ndng, self-conceited and indelicate.  They make them rough and rude by
the influence of their homes. In their houses
there is the continual clatter and clangor of a
machine shop.   Every movement is a rush.
Every step is a stamp, and every word a vociferation. The shovel and tongs, the dishes and
the doors, are made to contribute their portion
of noise. And in such homes it is seen, that the
children are seldom of a soft and quiet disposi
149 
FPARENTAL ERRORS.
tion.* And to see the influence of quiet families,
look among our friends, the Quakers.
Children are made rough and boisterous, also,
by being permitted to engage much in rude and
noisy sports. Many are indulged in loud talking
and singing, and other annoying and disgusting
efforts to gain the notice of visitors.  It is
strange that their parents do not see how muich
they are injuring their children, as well as dis turbing others and disgracing themselves, by
such allowances.   To  render them easy and
agreeable to society when grown, they must be
made to behave quietly and respectfully while
young.  But many permit them to be so noisy
and boisterous in their plays, both at home and
in the streets, as to disturb all that are near.
And they plead for it, that it will make their
children more robust and active.  But plays far
less vociferous and violent would better fit them
for the activities of life, rendering them at the
* See "' Infant Philosophy," pp. 80-2 and 197-8.
150 
LECTURI' VII.
samne time more acceptable and thus more useful to others.
Some parents make their children disrespectful to others, by permitting them to be irreverent to thernselves.  The young child is allowed,
and even taught, to be pert and mischievous, for
the amusement of his parents-to pull their hair,
slap their faces, and call them ill namnes.  A
more odious impropriety is permitting him to
contradict his parents, and still more so, to flatly
refuse obedience.  It shocks me, most painfully,
to hear a child say to his mother, "I won't."
Hiow any parent can endure to receive such a
reply, is to inme a mystery. And how can it be
expected that one who treats his father or mother
thus, will be respectful to others?
Parents make their children contradictions
and fault-finding by their own example, and by
allowing them in the early practice of disputing
and censuring each other, or worse, of disputing
and censuring themselves. Brothers and sisters
should be allowed, and even encouraged, in
151
.~ 
PARENTAL ERRORS.
mildly and affectionately correcting each other's
errors and faults. Few practices are more amia ble. But that sharp and ill-natured manner of
doing it which prevails inl many families, is very
unlovely. It seems to be prompted by a spirit
of malevolence, or at best, by an ambition of
acuteness in spying out the errors of others.
And the continual practice of it has an insensible, yet powerful, effect on the permanent temper and habits of the household. Parents should,
therefore, strive by example, aulthority, and instruction to prevent it.
Some make their children 8e,f-couceited, by
making them too conspicuous in the family.
The young master must be introduced to the
guests as ceremoniously as any of the household.
And  then, the visitors must be duly informed
that he is a very uncommon child, by being told
his smart tricks, and especially, as the smartest of
all, his roguish ones; * all of which the child notices as much as the visitors do, and probably
*See "Mother at Home," pp. 113-14.
12 
LECTURE VII.
relishes it much more.  For they may not exactly
like to be thus indirectly told, that this child is
much smarter than their own. Nor will the
child fail to get the impression, that he is of
much consequence; an impression which he
will be likely to carry through life. And if a
great share of conversation with him, and before
him, be, as it too often is, in praise of his beauty,
fine dress, or the like, there is no calculating
how much is thus done to inflate him with vanity
and pride.
Some regard to personal appearance ought to
be cultivated, such as cleanliness of person, and
neatness of dress; for they will render our children more  agreeable and thus more useful to
others. And there are two other ornaments that
should have especial attention, as they are no
less valuable in themselves, or acceptable to others, than the beauties of feature and form, while
at the same time they are less liable to inflate
with self-consequence. They are, sweetness of
tones, and gentleness of manners. And these
Go
153 
PARENTAL ERRORS.
should be taught early, as it will be easier for
the teacher and the taught.
But it is wonderful in what harsh tones and
incorrect pronunciation many allow their chlildren to talk, thinking, if they think at all, that
they must be corrected at some future day. And
thus they confirm bad habits that will be overcome with difficulty, if ever; whereas, if they
would teach them,from the beginning, to pronounce properly, and to speak in sweet inflections and mellow tones, they would give them a
grace more acceptable to good society, than all the
gewgaws that they could pile upoil themn.   But
instead of doing so, they actually mislead the
child by speaking to him in 1' baby-talk;" and
then confirm his faults by mimicking him in a
way that makes him think, as they themselves
seem to do, that they are beauties, and not
blemishes.
The most that parents can do in teaching
agreeable manners, is to correct what is coarse,
awkward, and affected; to point the child to
154
w 
LECTURE VII.
good examples; to inculcate, iii regard to man-tners, as well as personal appearance, the saying, trite though it be, "Handsome they who
handsome do;" and to persuade him that he
needs much mote precious ornaments than the
tailor, mantan-maker, or jeweler can furnish
him.
Many make their children indelicate, by appearing before them in an unbecoming manner,
or by speaking to or before them in low, filtlhy
language   It is a fact, that many who wish to
be considered decent people, act or speak very
indecently before their young children; either
vainly supposing it will niaot be noticed, or not
thinking at all of the effect of it. They do it,
also, by allowing their children to act and speak
unbecomingly among themselves, or to associate
with those who do. htow often have children
received a taint of moral impurity from an obscene anecdote, which they were thought too
young to notice, a taint whose influence lasted
for life.
155
Fl 
PARENTAL ERRORS.
The error of others is, that they teach their
children to be sordid and girutdygiy, passionate
and revengeful.  When  they wish one to do
something that is disagreeable, (to take medi cine, for instance,) and he refuses, they provoke
him to it by exciting his selfishness. They say
to him, " Well, if you won't drink this, sister
shall have it." And sometimes they add,
"Drink it quick, before sister gets it."  And
then down goes the dose, just to keep another
from having it. Here, then, is one of the most
hateful human passions deliberately called into
action. And the more it is exercised, the more
it is strengthened and confirmed. Nay, worse;
the child is indirectly taught that he does well
to be thus sordid and grudging. Nor are the
occasions few in which many parents call out
the evil affections of their children' as inducements to obey; whereas, obedience from such
motives is really no obedience, but the hurtful
gratification of a hateful passion.
lIany teach their children to be passionate
156 
LECTURE  VII.
and revengeful in ways like these: Thie child
bumps his head against a chair; and the mother,
to hush his outcries, says, "Did  the naughty
chair hurt my baby? We'll whip it." Andl
then she falls to beating it, most condignly. If
he is hushed by these means, it is because he is
gratified at the supposed sufferings of the chair;
that is, by the gratification of anger or revenge.
We might laugh at this silly means of the
mother, if the injury which she inflicts upon her
child did not forbid our levity. She does him
no little injury by exciting and thus confirming
these passions, and by indirectly teaching him
that they are proper.
Or, the child is in the arms of an elder sister,
crying lustily from sheer anger. HIis mother
takes him, at length, and says, "Did they abuse
my boy? they shan't do so any more."  And
then she deals out upon the innocent girl a pretended chastisement. To say nothing of the sin
of falsehood in this case, the mother teaches her
child to vent a wicked vengeance against the
11 151 
PAR ENTAL ERRORS.
innocent, and thereby makes him the more irritable and vindictive.
Lastly, many teach their children to lie and
deceive. They do it in many ways, and with lamentable industry. They do it mainly by lying
to them, or by lying before them. AIany lie to
their children in false statements, threatenings,
or promises. In some families many such falsehoods are told every day.  Go where there is
much scolding-consequently, little government
-and you will find it is so. In such families,
the child is told, "' You shan't have your breakfast, depend upon it, till you wash your face."
But, before long, the smutty urchin comes to
the table undisturbed.   Soon after, he does
something wrong, and is told, "I will whip you,
as true as you are born, if you ever do that
again." But, though he soon repeats the fault,
the promised chastisement never comes. Sometimes the child cries to go to town, or elsewhere,
but is put off with the promise that he shall go
"next time."  Yet many a " next time" comes
158 - 
LECTURE vII.              159
before the oft-repeated promise is fulfilled. And
often does he cry for somnething that is present,
but the parent hides it, and says it is gone. Or,
he is told, " You shan't have it; " but he teases
or bawls after it till the parent says, " There,
take it, and stop your noise." Often, too, is he
told the hen will pick him, or the snake bite,
the cow hook, or the horse kick him, or worse,
that the bug-bears (booggers) or spooks will
catch him. I have no doubt that many parents
tell their children ten thousand such falsehoods
in a year.
Some are in the habit of threatening the same
punishment ten times over, without inflicting it
at all.  They even threaten what they never intend to inflict, and what their children do not
believe they will inflict —nay, what they would
be shocked to have them believe; such as " skinning them alive," " cutting their heads off,"
and the like. If a visitor comes in, they will
say, "This man has a sharp knife; and if you
don't behlave, he will cut off your ears." This 
P ARENTAL ERRORS.
they will say of their physician or minister, thus
putting them so much in fear of him, that it is
difficult for him to do them any good. And
many, mnoreover, will lie to others in the hearing of their children, either telling what their
children know to be false, or boasting before
them how they have deceived others. Now, all
these thingsare lies, and nothing but lies. And
in these "I speak that I do know, and testify
that I have seen," in thousands of instances.
What, then, must be the tendency of so much
parental falsehood, but to teach their children
lying and deceit. As children are such imitative beings, and inclined to "go astray as soon
as they be born, speaking lies," it would be
strange, indeed, if they did not copy such examples.  What is there to hinder them from
doing what their "dear, good parents" are doing so constantly, and what is so congenial to
themselves?  A  great share of that detestable
class called liars and deceivers, have undoubtedly been made such by this kind of parental
160 
LECTURE vm.
training; aud untold evils have thence resulted.
It might, also, be shown, that many parents educate their children to falsehood by not properly punishing them for it, and even by requiring them to lie. But on this I have not time to
dwell.
While the greatest evil resulting from such
treatment is that it leads the child to lying and
deception, there are others that should not be
overlooked. One is, that the child thus deceived will not believe his parents when they
do tell him the truth. They tell him, for instance, that the cakes or the nuts are all eaten
up. But he has so often detected them in falsehood, that he cannot rely upon their word.
They have, therefore, not only to repeat the assertion often and positively, but to let him
run his hand into their pockets, or search the
closets, to convince him; whereas, if they had
always told him the truth, he would never have
doubted their word.
But the other evil resulting from this treat                                   11
161 
PARENTAL ERRORS.
ment is much more serious. It is its ruinous influence on parental authority. How can a child
"honor his father and mother" as much as is
needful to filial obedience, if he cannot trust
their word? And how can he stand in proper
fear of chastisement, when it is so often threatened without infliction?  "Mother," said a little girl to her foster-parent (from whom I had
the acount) "Mother, you shouldn't tell Jimmie
you will whip him, unless you do it; for he
don't believe you. I told him t' other day you
would whip him, if he did such a thing, for you
said you would.' No she won't,' said he,'she
has often told me she would, but she has never
done it."' And this is only one out of a multitude of cases, in which I have known this practice to ruin parental authority. Yes, fathers
and mothers, you must give up lying to your
children, or give up your ability to govern them.
More; you must cease lying. to them, or contribute fearfully to their temporal and,ternal
ruin.
162 
LECTURE VII.
I entreat all parents to consider how important it is that they abstain from all the errors
that have now been noticed-important to the
community, to themselves, and especially to
their children; and how unwise and wicked
those must be who are conscious of having been
guilty of these errors, and yet carelessly or deliberately persist in them. Let all parents consider that their children are the most precious
objects of their care. Let the father feel, that
,Inong all his affairs, in the field or shop, the
study or thle store, he has no concern of more
importance than the training of his household.
And let the mother say of her offspring, as Cornelia did, "These are my jewels."  And let her
so train them that they shall be jewels, indeed
-jewels that shall richly adorn herself on
earth, and stud the crown of her Savior in
heaven.
163 
LECTURE VIII.
CHILDHOOD CONVERSION BOTH POSSIBLE AND PROBABLE.
PRov. xxii. 6: Train up a child in the way he should go;
and when he is old he will not depart from it.
THiE way in which a child should go, can
be no other than the path of true piety. And
to train him to that path, can be no less than
causing him to become a christian in his childhood. I see not how the text can be made to
mean any less. It cannot mean that he is in
the way of religion already, and needs only to
make progress in it. For, he is "'by nature a
child of wrath, even as others." He must, then,
be converted, to enter " the way he should go,"
and converted early, or he cannot be trained n
it during his childhood. And how is he to be
converted? Not by a recuperative power of
0 
LECTURE VIII.
his own, nor by any sanctifying influence lodged
in his parents; but by "the renewing of the
Holy Ghost."* And yet the change is to be effected through the instrumentality of parental
training. He is to be cleansed from his original corruption, just as the adult christian is
cleansed from his remaining corruptions; that
is, he is to "purify his soul by obeying the
truth through the Spirit." t  It is by yielding
to the commands and teachings of his parents,
through the influence of the Spirit, that he is
born again.
But as many are acting evidently under the
notion that Childhood Conversion is impossible,
(a notion which Christ rebuked in saying, "Suffer little children to come unto me, for of such is
the kingdom of God,") I propose to show, that
under proper parental training, it is both
A POSSIBLE AND A PROBABLE ATTAINMENT.
The possibility of early conversion is virtually taught in the text.  It requires the child to
* Tit. iii. 5. f 1 Pet. i. 22.
165 
EARLY CONVERSION.
be brought up in a way which involves regeneration. And as God never commands a positive impossibility, we must infer that the early
conversion which he requires the parent to secure, is in its nature attainable. And the same
thing is taught in the apostolic version of the
text; that is, the command to bring up our children in the "nurture and admonition of the
Lord." * It is likewise taught thus indirectly
in what God said of the parental faithfulness of
Abraham: "I know him, that he will command
his children and his household after him; and
they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment." t  And as he "was a man
of like passions with ourselves," what he did,
other parents can do. And by the Abrahamic
or Family Covenant, they are positively re
quired to do it.:
The possibility of childhood conversion is
taught, likewise, in the following declarations
of Solomon:  "Foolishness" (that is sin) "is
* Eph. vi. 4. t Gen xv'fii. 19.: See Ps. lxxviii. 5-7.
166 
LECTURE VIII.
bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of
correction " (or proper parental discipline) "will
drive it far from him." "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with
the rod, he shall not die." (That is, he shall
not be lost.) " Thou shalt beat him with the
rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell." " The
rod and reproof give wisdom," (i. e., true religion.)
"Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest;
yea, he shall give delight to thy soul;" * (a "' rest"
and "delight," evidently, which nothing but
the child's piety could give.) And does not the
declaration of Christ, that we must receive the
kingdom of God as a little child, furnish a cumnulative proof of the same? t
The possibility of early conversion is also
proven by many modern facts. Numerous ca ses are recorded, in which children must have
been born again at a very early age. The
daughter of Dr. Doddridge, Dinah Doudney,
*Prov. xxii. 15; xxiii. 18, 15; xi  15, 17.
t Mark, x, 15.
167
'IC 
EARLY CONVERSION.
Phebe Bartlet, Nathan W. Dickerminan, John
Mooney Mead, and many others in our own
land, are among the number, as may be seen by
consulting our Sabbath school libraries. And
they occur, perhaps, more frequently in Scottish
and Moravian churches than in others. *
* A letter written by a very intelligent and pious mother
of my acquaintance, who has gone to her rest, has somehow
fallen into my hands. -As a portion of it is very appropriate to the subject before us, I feel constrained to quote it. She
says,
"Many of my friends have heard me relate the circum
stances attending the hopeful conversion of each of my children; but as the rod was concerned in one case only, it is not
necessary-here to mention the others. The facts in that case
being simply the following, speak for themselves. In consequence of repeated acts of disobedience, and one or two
of falsehood, and after more lenient measures had been often used, I was satisfied that duty required me to chastise
my child. As I believed it was not right to use the rod without accompanying prayer, knowing that it could do no good
without the blessing of God, I took it, with her, to my closet.
There, after reading to her several portions of scripture,
where my duty to her as a parent was enjoined, and which
she acknowledged, and after we had both importunately entreated the Lord for his assistance and blessing, I applied the
rod once severely. To my grateful astonishment,.I soon
found that she was not only bowed in sweet submission to
my authority, but that God heard prayer, and was pleased at
168 
LECTURE VIII.
And why may not the child as well be converted
under parental training, as the adul  under the
preaching of the gospel? Say not, that the
child cannot know enough to be born again.
the same time to subdue her will to his own.  The result was
so new to me, that even while I hoped, I did not venture to
speak of it to any individual for many days. Three or four
days elapsed before my daughter indulged for herself the
hope that her sins were forgiven; but the change was so
great and so apparent, I thought I could not be mistaken.
Her subsequent life has testified that I was not. At a meeting of the Maternal Association, some weeks after, I felt that
I ought to acknowledge what the Lord had wrought for my
beloved child, and related the circumstances. As this was the
first case of the kind I had ever known or heard of, it opened
before me, in a new and striking light, the imperious duty ly.
ing upon parents to subdue the wills of their children to parental authority, in obedience to plain scriptural commands,
with the hu)nble expectation that God re,ill bless the mneans of
his own appointmnent, and enable them to bow their hearts to
himself. My bible lays down the following rules: "Withhold
not correction from a child; for if thou beatest him with the
rod, he shall not die.   Thou shalt beat him with the rod,
and shalt deliver his soul from hell." (Prov. xxiii., 13, 14.)
Did not Solomon, then, consider the rod as an appointed
means of salvation; that is, if'deliver,' in the last clause,
means'save?' James says,'He that converteth a sinner
from the error of his way shall save a.soul from death.'
How does'save a soul from death' in this passage differ
from' deliver a soul from hell,' in the other?  For one,Ibelieve the devil himself has brought the rod into disrepute; and
169 
EARLY CONVERSION.
For no one knows exactly how much knowledge
is necessary to a change of heart, much less,
that the child cannot receive that amount. Per
sons are converted with very little divine knowl
edge, especially among the heathen.  And that
he can take no surer method to regain the dominion of this
world, than by frightening parents from the right use of
it, when he can succeed in loading it with derision and ignominy, or make mothers love the bodies more than the souls of
their children.  *  *  *
" * * * An old lady of my acquaintance who was,
when a very little child, converted by a blessing on the same
means, but which she had been careful not to mention, except to confiding friends, spoke of it, however, on her dying
bed, with gratitude to God and her mother too. She even
sent for a friend, related the particulars, and requested her
to publish them."
Another instance of early conversion under the rod, was
related tome by a very judicious and devoted mother, who
is still living. She took the same course with the above
writer. Before proceeding to punish her little daughter,
she took her to the closet, admonished her solemnly and tenderly as to her fault, and the necessity of chastising her,
and prayed with her for the blessing of God on the painful
duty. After giving her only a few stripes, the child was
subdued, and appeared ever after to have a new and christian spirit. I could mention yet another case of the kind.
And I believe, if the application of the rod were generally
preceded by admonition and prayer, the like cases of conversion would be much more frequent.
170 
LECTURE VIII.
little may be rendered so simple, that children
can understand it. For they have all the mental
and moral capacities and powers of adults; consequently, all their susceptibilities. Much of the bible, by the simplicity of its language and its poetic
images, is adapted to the youthful mind. Yes;
and many young Sabbath school scholars have
more religious knowledge, than many adult
christians. And they would have much more,
if their parents did their duty. Moreover, children are more susceptible of good impressions
than when they are more aged and hardened.
Thus the possibility of regeneration in childhood is shown by the bible and by modern
facts; while nothing can be found either in the
word of God, or in the nature of the case, that
even seemsq  to teach the contrary.  Is it not
strange, then, that so many parents assume it
in practice, if not in theory, as an undoubted
truth, that their offspring cannot. be converted
ill early youth!
But we may have to go much farther.  We
171 
EARLY CONVERSION.
have yet to see, that under proper parental
training, childhood conversion is not only a possible, but aprobable event.  I am far from maintaining that all parents who give their children
any kind or amount of religious culture, will
probably secure their salvation. I hold, only,
that if the right kind is given in a proper manner, and to a certain amount, it will probably
be successful. Those who fail, therefore, should
charge their want of success to want of faithfulness; while those who train their children in all
respects properly, may confidently expect them
to be early renewed and finally saved; that according to the teaching of the text, they will
walk in the path of piety while young, and not
forsake it when old, but be "kept by the power
of God through faith unto salvation."
It is true, that conversions among young children appear to be rare. And for this several
reasons may be given. One is, that such are
not apt to be noticed; for they are not so much
looked for, nor so conspicuous as adult conver
172 
LECTURE VIII.
sions. Yet many of our most examplary christians must have been renewed in early childhood,
for they could never recollect when their renovation took place. That eminent saint, Richard
Baxter, was such. And he was once in great
trouble, fearing he was not a christian, because
he knew not when he became one. So it was with
that eminent missionary, Dr. Scudder. And I
believe, that many misdate their spiritual birth,
thinking it took place in adult life, when they
had (as many christians have) a season of great
darkness, succeeded by unusual light and joy;
whereas, they had had the like feelings, though
fainter ones, far back in childhood. a[any rely
too exclusively on the marvelous experiences
of adult conversions, and, therefore, regard those
christians who cannot tell of undergoing such a
manifest and wonderful change, as graceless
formalists.
Still it is a lamentable truth, that comparatively few children become early pious. But
this is fully accounted for, as the result of paren
1'73 
EARLY CONVERSION.
tal neglect. Few are even seeking the early conversion of their children, and fewer still are seeking it arilght.  It is a deplorable fact, that many,
reputed to be very pious and zealous christians,
have very irreligious children.  Yet this should
lead us to doubt, not the wisdom and efficacy of
the training which God commands, but whether
these parents are in fact as pious and zealous as
they are supposed to be. The fact argues defect
somewhere. It did so in the case of Eli, when
"his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained
them not." It did so in Paul's view respecting
bishops and deacons. For he tells us none are
fit for such offices who do not " rule their own
houses well." It must, then, be no small defect
in private christians.
Some parents, who are regarded as patterns
of piety abroad, are found to have certain dispositions and habits at home that make them bad
rulers and instructors of their households. They
manifest their religion, if not too much abroad,
at least too little in the family. They are par
174 
LEOTURE VIII.
ticularly deficient in the government and instruction of their children, and in prayer for their
salvation. And they set before them sad examples of passion and worldliness, if not of more
presumptuous sins; which things prejudice their
children against religion all the more, if these
parents have much reputation for piety abroad.
And some parents, who are otherwise estimable, seem far more thorough aid skillful in
everything else, than in the training of their
children. They are either too lax or too severe;
or, they are too inconsiderate, impulsive, or inconsistent.   Either  they are not sufficiently
simple in their religious instructions, or not sufficiently kind or earnest in their persuasions.
Or, they discourage their children from efforts
to do right, by telling them they can do nothing
to purpose, till they have a new heart; whereas,
they should leave them to discover it by their
own  experience.   They should  rather teach
them that, as they can never be made to pray
acceptably so long as they neglect to pray at all,
175 
EARLY CONVERSION.
so they should not expect to be renewed, till
they try to "purify themselves by obeying the
truth through the spirit."
The fault of others is, that they do not create
the right kind of " domestic atmosphere."   For
the spiritual, as well as the physical welfare of
our children depends much on the air which
they inhale. And to create the right atmosphere, we must show in our families, by all our
words and actions, that we regard religion not
only as our chief duty, but as our chief interest
and enjoynent. But how many act as if the
world were " the chief concern," both of themselves and of their children.  They are allanxiety, and effort, and care, when disease or pain
assail the bodies of their offspring. But how
little care they for that "leprosy of sin" which
pollutes, and pains, and perils the soul. They
are eager to improve their minds and manners,
while the priceless soul is forgotten. They spare
no expense in dress and ornaments to make their
children " appear respectable" among men, but
176 
LECTURE VIII.
do little or nothing to secure them that wedding
garment which they need for "the marriage
supper of the Lamb." And they make very
great exertions to give them "a good start in the
world." But ah! how little they are doing to
move them to take the first step in the way to
heaven. This fact, then, that so few are converted
in childhood, is no proof against our proposition,
t/at under proper parental training, childhood
conversion would be a probable and certain event.
We will now consider the proofs by which
this proposition is supported. I give you,
1. The adaptation and efficiency of the means
appointed  These means are comprised, as we
have seen, in proper parental training. And we
shall see, they are well adapted to accomplish
the end in view. All are well aware that the
evil influences and instructions of a parent are
powerful to lead his child astray.  Good influence and instruction, then, must have an opposite and powerful tendency. And all allow
that the preaching of the gospel is well adapted
11*                     12
177 
EARLY CONVERSION.
to secure the conversion of adults; that though
in itself alone it is insufficient, on account of native depravity, still its tendency is to resist that
depravity; and thus to lead men to salvation.
So, also, in regard to example. It is generally
admitted, that the holy lives of minister and
people give his preaching much additional
power. And it is believed that many a man has
been won to truth and godliness more by the
examples of some consistent saints, than by all
the arguments that have reached them from
press or pulpit.
Now, both these influences are combined to
the best advantage in right parental nurture.
And, if they are so effective on adults, they
must be more so on children. For the latter are
not so much "hardened through the deceitfulness of sin," not so preoccupied with wrong notions, nor so fixed in evil habits; neither are
they so disturbed by adverse. influences, while
under parental training, as are adults under the
preaching of the gospel.
178 
LECTURE VIII.
One great hinderance to the success of the'gospel is, that it is heard so seldom-once or twice
a week, perhaps - while, during the interval,
the world comes in with its numberless disturbances to obliterate the lessons of the Sabbath.
And another powerful hinderance is, the influence of evil examples. Adults are usually surrounded with more evil than good ones. But
children of christian families can be mainly kept
from these pernicious influences; and that, too,
where they can have "precept upon precept,"
and " line upon line;" not "here a little and
there a little," but much, daily and hourly. If,
then, the -parental teachings and examples are
as correct as they should be, the result must be
great and good, especially if associated with
right parental government.
God sometimes exceeds his promises, by converting the children of unfaithful parents. But,
with such exceptions, faithfulness' measures success. At least, the case cannot be found in
which parents have been perfect in the training
179 
180           EARLY CONVERSION.
of their child; and yet have failed to secure his
salvation. As God has appointed parental
training as a means for the child's conversion,
it cannot be that he would allow the perfect use
of it to prove a failure; for he never said to the
seed of Jacob, " Seek ye me in vain." * And
this brings us to the other and main proof of
our proposition, that under right treatment childhood conversion is probable. It is,
2. The promises and declarations of scripture
respecting those that are "brought up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord."  And
foremost of these, stands the promise of God,
first to Abraham, and afterward to Isaac and
Jacob, "In him and his seed all the families of
the earth shall be blessed." t This promise was
made to him, as we have seen, because he would
" command his children and his household after
him.": And it is a promise not only to him,
but to all who have the like faith, and who
therefore train their children as he did his, "to
* Isa. xlv. 19. t Gen. xxviii. 14. t Gen. xviii. 19. 
LECTURE VIII.
keep the way of the Lord;"  a virtual promise, then, that all those who bring up their children fully "in the nurture and admonition of
the Lord," shall secure their salvation. And
this is confirmed by many other promises of
God to bless his saints, together with their children.t But such a promise would yield a parent but poor encouragement, if his utmost
efforts to train them thus would probably be
fruitless.
Several passages which have been already
quoted to prove conversion in childhood possible, as fully prove it probable.  The first that I
would quote, again, is the text, "Train up a
child in the way he should go, and when he is
old he will not depart from it." It is here implied, that a child, rightly trained, not only can,
but positively will, walk in a way implying conversion, and will persevere in it for life.
The other passages are the following: "Fool
* Gen. xvii. 7; Gal. iii. 8, 9.
t Deut. v. 29; xii. 28. Ps. ciii. 17; Prov. xL 7.
181 
EARLY CONVERSION.
ishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the
rod of correction will drive it far from him."
"Withhold not correction from the child; for
if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not
die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and
shalt deliver his soul from hell." " Correct thy
son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall
give delight fo thy soul." *
These passages assert, not only the possible,
but the positive conversion of those children
that are faithfully trained. They assert that the
rod, which I understand to be the emblem both
of instruction and government, will drive sin
from the heart of a child, and will so fully reform him that lie will give "rest" and "delight" to the pious parent's anxious soul; and
that the change thus wrought will be a s8aving
one, for they teach that the child " shall not
die, but his soul shall be saved from hell."
And will any one dare to say, There is no
robability that these positive promises will be
* Prov. xxii. 15; xxiii. 13, 14; xxix. 17.
182 
LECTURE VIII.
fulfilled? If the discipline were perfect, would
not the conversion be sure? If we came up
fully to the conditions of the promise, would
God fail to fulfill it?
But though this discipline be imperfect, there
is still a probability of success, proportioned to
the degree of our faithfulness. For all parental
nurture will benefit the child, as the preaching
of the gospel does the adult, in proportion to its
amount and excellence. And the nearer this
nurture approaches perfection, the nearer does
the probability of its success approach to certainty. Here, then, is great encouragement to
parental fidelity.
And there are two other encouragements to
such faithfulness, which are not entirely out of
place here. One is, that though the child does
not become pious early, there is a probability
of his future conversion, in proportion to his
culture in childhood.   Many  who  are born
again in maturity, and some in old age, are
brought to accept salvation mainly through the
183 
EARLY CONVERSION.
influence of early training. Though parents
should aim at nothing short of the early conversion of their child, by means of a perfect discipline, and though they should not expect, (as I
fear many do,) that he will be saved merely because he is "a child of the covenant," has been
baptised, and received some religious instruction, yet they may hope for his salvation in proportion as they have been faithful in training
him for God. It is found that very aged people remember the events of their childhood
much more readily and distinctly than those of
later life.* There is hope, then, that what was
taught them at the fireside, will be recollected
by them even in their dotage, and be the means
of their salvation. Instances of the kind have
sometimes occurred And they would more
frequently occur, if aged sinners were oftener
reminded of their early religious training.t
*Luke Short was converted by means of a sermon of Flavel's, recollected eighty-five years after he heard it.-Christian Family Almanac, 1855.
t See Infant Philosophy, pp. 258-261.
184 
LECTURE VIII.
The other encouragement is, that, whether
converted in childhood or in more advanced
life, they will be the more stable, consistent, and
useful christians, in proportion to the thoroughness of their early religious training. If they
are converted young, it will be all the better in
this respect. Nevertheless, if they are not converted till middle life or old age even, the restraints and instructions of their childhood will
be no little aid to them in living a correct religious life. Such are found, therefore, to be
most persevering, stable, and uniform. Rev.
Jacob Little, of Granville, Ohio, reports that of
four hundred and three of the members of his
church who were baptized in ilnfancy, only seventeen had been excommunicated, while out
of one hundred and fifty-seven who were baptized in adult years, twenty-one had been
excommunicated; that is, only about one in
twenty-four of the former went astray, while
one in six and a half of the others went
astray. And this difference could not have
185 
EARLY CONVERSION.
been occasioned by thle difference of the ages
at which they were baptized, but by the diference of their early  training.  The  former
were baptised in infancy because they were the
children of pious parents, who strove, consequently, to "bring them up in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord." And this early training it was, that made them so correct and consistent as professors of religion.
We see on the whole, then, that parents have
ample encouragement to be faithful in their efforts to " train up their children in the way they
should go;" since the more judicious and thorough they are, the greater is the probability
that these children will be converted-will become the more correct, and useful, and happy
in life, and will reap the richer reward in
heaven. Yes; and at the same time we see most
powerful considerations to deter them from neglect of parental duty, which is too prevalent
among those who profess to be blessed by "faith
with faithful Abraham." For, to them are
186
.4 
LECTURE VIII.
committed souls which " worlds want wealth to
buy "-souls whose salvation they might secure
if they would be sufficiently faithful as to influence, authority, and instruction. What a crushing responsibility, then, is resting upon them.
Hiow great, therefore, must be their guilt, and
how great should be their grief, if they suffer
them to perish.  Oh, if the generality of parents were as mindful as they should be of their
awful accountability as to the final destiny of
their children, they would not, they could not,
so grievously neglect their moral and religious
training.
Would to God, that all those on whom this
responsibility fs resting, would lay this subject
suitably to heart; and would firmly resolve to
labor for the salvation of their offspring, as they
will wish they had, when they come to meet
them at the final bar of God!
187 
LIECTURE IX.
THEHAPPY RESULTS OF RIGHT PARENTAL TRAINING.
PSALM cxliv., 12: That our sons may be as plants, grown
up in their youth; that our daughters maybe as corner
stones, polished after the similitude of a palace.
HOME was once a far more dear and sacred
spot; for "modern progress" has despoiled it
of much of its former interest and sanctity.
Real progress is not to be despised. But in our
eager chase after improvements, we should be
careful not to leave behind what is more precious than those things after which we are reaching. This caution is doubly needful as regards
the good things of home. In the modern increase of our enterprises of pleasure, ambition,
and gain, and in the increased facility of travel,
we are living more than formerly abroad, and 
LECTURE IX.
are thereby proportionably weaned from the
domestic hearth. And on our return, the mul.
tiplication of our occupations and amusements
increases yet more our forgetfulness of the family circle. In consequence of these things, the
interests and pleasures of the fireside are sadly
undervalued and neglected.   Yet, nothing left
us from the ruins of the fall, is more important
to our welfare than a well regulated, happy
home. Its archetype is Eden. Its antitype is
heaven. No other place on earth, not even the
house of God, should be so dear to us. For
there our most important duties should be done,
and there our richest pleasures enjoyed.
[ome, such as it should be, is in part described in the words of our text. The description relates to its most important elements, its
dearest inmates. In the preceding verse, the
psalmist prays to be delivered from evil children, and in the text, to be blessed with those
that are good; or sons that shall "be as plants
grown up in their youth," and "daughters like
189 
THE WELL TRAINED FAMILY.
corner stones, polished after the similitude of a
palace."
This language is figurative. What, then, is
its meaning?  The "plants" here mentioned
are evidently the same as the "olive plants
round about the table," as mentioned by the
same writer and for the same purpose, in the
128th psalm. By their " growing up in their
youth," we may understand that they had a vigorous growth, not a stinted, gnarly one, as of
" a root out of dry ground," having " no form
or comeliness;" also, that they had an early
maturity. And a flourishing olive, called by
the prophet, "a green olive tree, fair, and of
goodly fruit," mubt have been comely on account
both of its foliage and fruit. So, in the eye of
his affectionate parents, few things are more
pleasing than the blooming face and graceful
form of a vigorous youth. But the psalmist
must have had regard mainly to moral comeliness. And personal beauty is a poor substitute
for moral worth.  Well, then, may parents be
190 
LEOTURE IX.
gratified on seeing their sons ripening in all the
virtues which qualify them for the domestic and
social, the moral and religious activities of life.
But a sentiment prevails among many, that
though man was formed for activity, woman
was formed only for ornament-not (as the bible teaches) for the "help" of man, but for his
admiration and pride; a notion supposed to be
confirmed by the fact, that she has more beauty
and less strength than man. And how many
are led by this notion to educate their daughters
to be " beautiful insipidities;" and to regard it
as degrading to them to have any useful occupation. But the error is evident. Though man
has not the same charms as woman, he has a
comeliness as attractive to her, as her beauty is
to him. And though she has not his brawny frame,
she has equallyimportant duties to perform and is
as well fitted by nature for her station, as man
is for his. The text speaks, therefore, not only
of her beauty, in that she is " polished after the
similitude of a palace;" but of her important
191 
THE WELL TRAINED FAMILY.
and powerful position, in that she is a corner
stone, thus holding the walls of a vast edifice
together.
Woman has been egregiously wronged in being regarded as inferior to man; nay, among
some nations as his drudge, and even his slave;
also, in being denied those means of improvement by which she might rise to her proper elevation. Yet, in many instances, she has been
wronging herself by failing to improve her mind
as much as she might. But of late, if I mistake
not, she is in danger of injuring-herself in a very
differentway. Itis by overleapingher just claims,
and insisting upon occupying a place in society
which God has not assigned her, either in creation or revelation. I-ow unwise in her to suppose, that as in a few rare instances she has possessed an energy equal to the more laborious and
difficult concerns of life, therefore, all her sex
should engage in them, as much as the other sex
does now; or to infer from the few instances in
which woman of old was called of God to prophe
192 
LECTURE IX.
cy and to guide the affairs of church and state,
that all the sex should share as much as men do
in all public labors, civil and religious. It is
making that most egregious mistake of putting
the exceoption in the place of the general rule.
Woman should be found now, where she was
generally found under the government of God
of old; found where Sarah was, in the retirement of the tent, and where the wives of the
Priests and Levites were, at ]ome, not ministering at the altar; found where the virtuous woman mentioned by Solomon was found, " giving
meat to her household," "reaching forth her
hands to the needy," and " looking well to the
ways of her household "- not " sitting among
the elders of the land;"* found where those women who followed Christ and his apostles were
found-not preaching in the temple or synagogues, but ministering to those who did preach
there. Women are required of God to "guide
the house," not the church or state; to be "keep            Prov. xxxi. 15, 20, 28, 27.
13
193 
THEi WVELL TRAINED FAMILY.
ers at hlome," not circuit-riders.   Where are
women commanded to " preach the word," and
to "rule with diligence?"  And if it were usually her duty or privilege to do so, how could an
inspired apostle have been permitted to say,
" Let your women keep silence, for it is not permitted unto themi to speak, but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the
law. And if they will learn anything, let them
ask their husbands at hoine, [inot teach them in
the house of God,] for it is a shame for a woman
to speak in the church."* And how could he
have been permitted to say again, "Let your
women  learn in silence, with  all subjection.
Butt I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp
authority over the man; but to be in silence."t
And if she should not be conspicuously active in
the church, she should not in any other concourse that is equally public.
When woman insists on taking the place of
man in society, it is as if the hind wheel of a
* 1 Cor. xiv. 34, 35.
194
f 1 Tim. ii. 11, 12. 
LECTURE IX.
carriage should claim to run on the fore axletree.
So long as she keeps within her proper sphere,
her activity is important. But if she leaves it,
things move badly; and none the better, though
she should be the bigger wheel of the two.
Novelty, or other excitements, may give the
vehicle at first an additional velocity.  But as it
moves by morbid action, it cannot move safely.
And in such a course, woman must injure
herself, as well as the cause in which she engages. Although many for a while may admire
her blowzy cheek and Bloomer costume, her silver voice and her impassioned language, still
unintoxicated, plain, common sense will decide
with Paul, that "it is a shame for a woman to
speak " in public-that by thus unsexing herself
she does herself a serious dishonor. And it is
evident that all the reforms of the day in which
she has taken a public part, have suffered discredit and injury thereby.
But the worse thing in this movement is, that
it smells of inelity.  Although some females
195 
THE WELL'RAINED FAMILY.
who  engage in this crusade for "Woman's
Rights" are putting on the livery of Christ and
are even professing to preach the gospel, they
must be "wolves in sheep's clothing," or at least
are sadly deluded. For they grievously contravene the rules of Christ's house. Christianity
needs the labors of female preachers now, no
more than it needed the testimony of that danmsel who "brought her masters much gain by
soothsaying;" and who followed Paul and his
companions saying, "These men are the servants of the most high God, which show unto us
the way of salvation."*  A great share of the
advocates of what are called "woman's rights"
are semi-infidels, if not avowedly infidels in full.
But how preposterous in them to trample on
christianity, which has done more than all things
else to elevate woman to her proper place among
men.
Far be it from me to intimate that a great
share of the softer serare enlisted in this move
*Acts, xvi. 16, 1Y.
196 
LECTURE IX.
ment. I believe, rather, that its advocates are
comparatively few. These have been called,
either ironically or otherwise, " our strongminded women." But I think they might be
more appropriately styled "our strong-hearted
women." And some of them are so masculine,
that their desire for manly stations and manly
employments is not so much to be wondered at.
Whereas, by far the greater share of the sisterhood, comprising those of the most mental and
ioral worth, are fully persuaded that woman's
appropriate place is not in camp-or cabinet,
w)lrklshop or plow-field; neither in the pulpit,
at the bar, or on the platform, but in the family
and(i the social circles; and that she has most
iovclCness and worth, when her eye beams most
with benevolence, and her hands abound most
in good works.
The model of an excellent family, as graphically though briefly described in the text, is one
in which all the children, male and female, are
"trained up in the way they should go;" and
197 
198      THE WELL TRAINED FAMILY.
thus, are furnished for all the purposes of life,
their wills being subdued, their dispositions rendered sweet and affectionate, their minds fully
instructed as to their domestic, social, and religious duties, and their habits formed and fixed
accordingly. In such a family, the reigning
spirits are love to parents, brothers and sisters,
and good will to all.
Such a family is a rich blessing to its parents,
to its children and to the community. To its
parents it is a blessed retreat from the evils which
they see or feel abroad. As the worthy mother
returns home, sated and sickened with what she
has seen of extravagance in dress, furniture, and
equipage, how welcome must be her own neat
and quiet domicile. As she comes back, disgusted with the empty etiquette and the heart
less professions of a false and fashionable world,
how happy she is to find herself surrounded with
those dear ones whose warm expressions of affection she knows to be sincere. And how much
are those mothers to be pitied, who never had a 
LECTURE IX.
love for these enjoyments of home; or who have
lost it among the frivolities and intoxications of
fashionable life. And how much more are those
to be pitied, who have never provided such enjoyments; who, therefore, on returning home,
are met by a clamorous and contentious household, and whose hearts are grieved, if not exasperated, at the manner in which their children
treat themselves and each other.
So also of the father. As he returns from his
daily employment, worn down by its toils, oppressed by its cares, and perplexed, perhaps, by
its incidental disasters, how cheering to meet at
home an affectionate, buoyant, happy family of
sons and daughters. What a blessing to have
one place of quiet and confidence in this tumultuous and false-hearted world. If he meet with
hard-heartedness or treachery, abuse or violence,
how delightful to think of one company of af fectionate and confiding ones, whose every pro fession is true, and whose every action is kind
and sympathizing. And if he be ever so pros
199 
THE WELL TRAINED FAMILY.
perous, his home should be his dearest object.
For, in no pomp or pleasure, and in no thought
of wealth or honor, can he find so much satis faction as in the bosom of his well trained and
lovely family.  Hlow unwise, then, the father
who gets so absorbed in things abroad, as to lose
his interest in the heaven-appointed enjoyments
of home. Especially how unwise, if he fails
to do his part toward "bringing up his children
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord,"
thus failing of the enjoyments just described,
and thus entailing on himself a family, selfish
and unkind, discordant and contentious, consequently, a source of perplexity and pain to him.
Thus important is a well trained family to parents. But it is much more so to children.
For, in the first place, they will be far more
happy for it. To see this, you have only to compare them with such as have not been governed
and instructed as they ought to be. In ill-governed and untaught families, you will see let
loose all those passions by which children tor
200 
LECTURE IX.
t.ure themselves and each other.  All is insubor
dination and impatience, contention and wrath.
The younger are crying from vexation; the elder contending and threatening, if not battling
with one another. And how much more unhappy must such a household be, than one
where all is peace, and harmony and love.
How cruel those parents, then, who neglect
to train their children to walk in the ways of
pleasantness, and the paths of peace. By allowing the child to indulge his anger for the
hour together, they allow him, in fact, to inflict
upon himself an hour of distress and pain.
And by allowing him thus to form the habit of
impatience and revenge, they prepare him for far
more of these self-inflicted sufferings. And while
tormenting himself, he is tormenting his felllows.
Who can estimate the evil, then, of bringing
up a whole family to be thus "hateful and hating one another."  How  much more happy
must that family be, where, from the youngest to
the eldest, all are "loving one another with a
201 
THE WELL TRAINED FAMILY.
pure heart, fervently," and are taking great sat-.
isfaction in seeing and in nmaking each other
happy. Such are some christian families, and
such should all of them be.
And in the next place, the sons and daughters, rightly trained, will be the better qualified
to do the duties of fathers and mothers in families of their own. They will know the better
how to govern and instruct them. Having been
so long accustomed to the good methods of their
parents, it will be the more natural to adopt,
and the more easy to practice them. CustomT
has usually a sad and powerful influence over
those whose training has been bad. They generally bring up their own children as they have
been brought up themselves. Sometimes, however, they see and deplore the errors of their parents, and resolve to bring up their own children
differently.  Yet, though they begin well, they
are apt shortly to slide into those habits of their
parents which they previously deplored. And
this is one of the ways in which God is visiting
202 
LEOTUE IX.
the iniquities of the fathers upon their children
unto the third and fourth generation. Whereas,
if they would train their children correctly,
they probably, through the influence of habit
and the promised grace of God, would send a
rich blessing far adown the line of their own
posterity.
Finally, a well trained family is a rich blessing to the state and the church. It furnishes
our most useful citizens and our most faithful
saints. Those who have been most obedient to
their parents, will be most submissive to laws
of their country and their God. And those who
have been best instructed at the fireside, will generally be most thoroughly taught the morality
and religion ofthe bible-that is, to love God supremely, and their neighbor as themselves;
taught, therefore, to practice on those principles
of benevolence, liberty, and justice, which the
word of God inculcates. And those who are so
early and thoroughly imbued with such principles, will be the last to sway others, and the last
203 
TIlE WELL -TRAINED FAMILY.
themselves to swerve from political rectitude.
These are the ones, therefore, that we need for
the coming strife, when Europe shall have
poured to the utmost, her ignorant and dangerous population upon us; the ones that will then
be needed to watch our polls, to fill our jury
boxes, and to guard and execute our laws.
Nor let it be supposed that the daughters of
America have nothing to do toward saving and
blessing their country. While they should not
be heard in the caucus or on the platform, yet
in the family and in tile social circles, their persuasions may avail much. In this respect, their
relation to the other sex is like that of the legal
counselor to the public advocate. The former
gives that advice in the law-chamber which the
latter employs in the public hall. And many
is the man who has received a wise and timely
suggestion, check, or impulse, from a mother,
sister, or wife.  lIany a man has been heard to
say, "If I had heeded my wife, it would have
saved me from ruin." Yes, well did the wisest
204 
LECTURE IX.
of kings say, "The price of a virtuous woman
is above rubies.. The heart of her husband doth
safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need
of spoils. Hier husband is known in the gates,
when he sitteth among the rulers of the land." *
It is true, that the suggestions of woman have
sometimes been deplorable. But from her who
tempted Adam to take the forbidden fruit, and
from her who urged Job to "curse God and
die," and from her who urged Herod to behead
John the Baptist, let us turn away to the myriads of women whose warm hearts and persuasive lips are ever on the side of virtue and injured humanity.  And su-ch, probably, will all
those be, who are truly" brought up in the nurture and'admonition of the Lord." In short, I
know of nothing more important to our political
welfare, than to have all families led early by
their parents "in the way they should go."
And equally important is such parental train
* Prov. xxxi. 10, 11, 23.
20
i
205 
THE WELL TRAINED FAMILY.
ing to the welfare of the church and the salvation of mankind. Religion lies at the foundation of all genuine morality and patriotism.
That nurture, then, which best qualifies our sons
and daughters for promoting man's social and
political welfare, will more directly qualify them
to promote his salvation. We have seen, in
former discourses, that this nurture is well suited
to secure the renewal of the heart, and the instruction of the understanding in the fundamental principles of religion; suited, also, to root
and ground them in the practice of these principles, and to secure to them a life of faithful,
niform, and consistent obedience.  And these
things prepare them to feel deeply and labor industriously for man's eternal welfare.  In the
instructions of the Sabbath school, in the distribution of tracts, and in all kindred labors, we
find those to be most prompt and persevering
who have been most faithfully trained in the
nursery and parlor.
But at present the loudest call of the church
206 
LEerURE IX.
is, for laborers in the capacity of pastors, missionaries, and teachers, male and female. And where
are we to look for them, if not to the families
that are " brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?"  The way, then, in which
parents can do most for Zion, is to train their
children for the service of God-to educate them,
not as too many do, to self-indulgence and selfwill, to frivolity and pleasure, to parade and extravagance, nor to the acquirement of wealth
and honor; but to that in which they would
find, both now and at last, their greatest delight,
and riches, and glory. Oh, if all those parents
who profess to have renounced the world, and
to have devoted their all to God, would make a
sincere 6fferirng of their odltlren to him, and
would prove their sincerity by actually training
them to "serve their own generation by the
will of God," what a reformation would be the
result.  Not only would "many be added to
the church" of "such as shall be saved," but a
goodly share of them would be preparing to
207 
THE WELL TRAINED FAMILY.
"preach the word."  And soon would many of
these be ready to labor in the gospel field, not
only at home, but in "the ends of the earth."
Nor would she who was " last at the cross, and
first at the sepulchre," be lingering in this great
work.  Though she is required to "keep silence
in the churches," yet, like Priscilla, she can aid
an eloquent Apollos, by "expounding unto him
the way of God more perfectly; "   and by variouls suggestions and encouragements can greatly increase his usefulness. Much more can she
accomplish by instructing in families and schools,
and in efforts to raise the needful funds to send
the gospel to the destitute.
As, then, the well trained family conduces so
much to the happiness of parents and children,
and so much to the political and spiritual welfare of others, we see ample reasons why David
should pray, in the text, that all the families of
Israel should be such. We see ample reasons,
also; why christian parents should strive to the
* Acts, xviii. 26.
208 
LECTURE IX.
utmost to bring up their children as God has
directed them in his holy word. Would to
God all of them might be so faithful in doing
it, as to secure all the happy results that have
been dwelt upon in the foregoing discourses.
14
209  
APPENDIX.
AFTER preparing the foregoing lectures, I was lead
to read in Tupper's Proverbial Philosophy an article
entitled Education. And in that article I was
pleased to find many pithy sentences fully coinciding
with several important positions which I have taken
in these lectures. I therefore append some of the
more apposite of them, in hopes that they will not
only confirm my opinions, but fix them more firmly,
in the reader's memory.
As far as I could, I have arranged these quotations
so as to correspond with the order in which their
subjects are treated on in the previous lectures.
LECTURE I.
PARENTAL TRAINING.
A babe in a house is a well-spring of pleasure, a mes    senger of peace and love:
A resting place for innocence on earth; a link between
angels and men: 
212                    APPENDIX.
Yet is it a talent of trust, a loan to be rendered back
with interest;
A  delight, but redolent with care; a honey-sweet, but
lacking not the bitter.
For character groweth day by day, and all things aid it
in unfolding.
And the bent unto good or evil may be given in the
hours of infancy.
*       *        *        *       *         *
Select not to nurse thy darling one that may taint his
innocence,
For example is a constant monitor, and good seed will
die among the tares.
The arts of a strange servant have spoiled a gentle
disposittion:
Mother, let him learn of thy lips, and be nourished at
thy breast.
Character is mainly molded by the cast of minds that
surround it:
Let then the playmates of thy little one be not other
than thy judgment shall approve.
LECTURE II.
PARENTAL INFLUENCE.
For disposition is builded up by the fashionings of first
impressions: 
APPENDIX.                    213
Wherefore, though the voice of Instruction waiteth for
the ear of reason,
Yet with the mother's milk the young child drinketh
Education.
Patience is the first lesson: he may learn it at the
breast:
And the habit of obedience and trust may be grafted on
his mind in the cradle.
*       *        *        *'.*         *
Lo, thou art a land-mark on a hill; thy little ones copy
thee in all things:
Let, then, thy religion be perfect: so shalt thou be
honored in thy house.
LECTURE IlL.
PARENTAL AUTHORITY.
Show me a child undutiful, and I shall know where to
look for a foolish father:
Never hath a father done his duty, and lived to be des
pised of his son.
But how can that son reverence an example he dare not
follow?
Should he imitate thee in thine evil? his scorn is thy
rebuke.
Nay, but bring him up aright, in obedience to God and
to thee. 
214                    APPENDIX.
LECTURE IV.
PARENTAL AUTHORITY.
Above all things graft on  him subjection, yea in the
veriest trifle:
Courtesy to all, reverence to some, and to thee unan:
swering obedience.
*       -*       *.       *        *        *
Begin betimes, lest thou fail of his fear, and with judg
ment that thou lose not his love.
*       *        *        *        *        *
Be obeyed when thou commandest; but command not
often.
*       *        *        *        *        *
A mild rebuke in the season of calmness is better than a
rod in the heat of passion,
Nevertheless spare not, if thy word hath passed for
punishment;
Let not thy child see thee humbled, nor learn to think
-  thee false.
LECTURE V.
GOVERNMENT IN LOVE.
Let thy carriage be the gentleness of love, not the stern
front of tyranny.
*   l* w *         *        *         * 
APPENDIX.                    215
Suffer none to reprove thee before him, and reprove not
thine own purposes by change;
Yet speedily turn again, and reward him where thou
canst,
For kind encouragement in good cutteth at the roots of
evil.
When his reason yieldeth fruit, make thy child thy
friend:
For a filial friend is a double gain, a diamond set in
gold.
As an infant, thy mandate was enough, but now let him
see thy reasons;
Confide in him, but with discretion: and bend a willing
ear to his questions.
More to thee than to all beside, let him owe good coun     sel and good guidance;
Let him feel his pursuits have an interest more to thee
than to all beside.
LECTURE VI.
PARENTAL INSTRUCTION.
For a child is in a new world and learneth somewhat
every moment:
His eye is quick to observe, his memory storeth in
secret, 
APPENDIX.
His ear is greedy of knowledge, and his mind plastic as
soft wax.
Beware, then, that he heareth what is good, that he feed
not on evil maxims.
For the seeds of first instructions are dropped into the
deepest furrows.
That which immemorial use hath sanctioned, seemeth to
be right and true;
Therefore, let him never have to recollect the time
when good things were strangers to his thoughts.
*        *        *        *        *
Read thou first, and well approve, the books thou givest
thy child;
But remember the weakness of his thought, and that
wisdom for him must be diluted:
In honied waters of infant tales, let him tate the strong
wine of truth:
Pathetic stories soften the heart; but the legends of ter.
ror breed midnight misery;
Fairy fictions cram the mind with folly, and knowledge
of evil tempteth to like evil.
*       *        *       *        *
The mind is made wealthy by ideas, but the multitude
of words is a clogging weight:'
Therefore be understood in thy teaching, and instruct to
the measure of capacity.
2i6 
APPESNIX.
Analogy is milk for babes, but abstract truths are strong
meat;
Precepts and rules are repulsive to a child, but happy
illustration winneth him.
*       *        *        *        *
Things undefined are full of dread, and stagger stouter
nerves.
The seeds of misery and madness have been sowed in
the nights of infancy;
Therefore be careful that ghastly fears be not the night
companions of thy child.
LECTURE VII.
PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT.
Finding nothing in Proverbial Philosophy on the subjects of this lecture, I would refer the reader to T. S.
Arthur's "Iron Rule," to Anderson's  "Book  for Parents," pp. 232-3, and to "Anecdotes for the Fanmily
Circle," pp. 138, 158.  But of the "Iron Rule " I must
say, it has some serious faults.   It rightly condemns
Mr. Howland for imposing unreasonable restraints on
his son, for refusing to let him justify himself, and for punishing him with too much sternness and too little affection.
But it is wrong in intimating that these' faultswere the only
cause of his failing to secure his child's obedience. The
main cause of the failure was, that he did not begin
ar? 
APPENDIX.
in seasot to govern him. He should have begun in
the first instead of the seventh year. The task of securing complete obedience should be mainly, if not entirely, accomplished before the child is two years old.
And this is the greatest fault of most parents, and of
many writers on parental government, that they do not
insist on this early enforcement of obedience.
Another fault of the book is, that it evidently intimates that parents should not insist on being obeyed in
all things. And thus it contradicts Dr. Witherspoon,
who insists that parental authority should be "entire
and absolute;" and Tupper, who says,
"Above all things, graft on him subjection, yea in the veri   est trifle.
*       *        *        *        *
Be obeyed when thou commandest; but command not often."
Thus it fails to enforce, and virtually discourages that
early and entire obedience which it is easiest for the parent to secure and for the child to yield, and which,
therefore, would save a great amount of severity and
suffering
218
I 
APPENDIX.                      219
LECTURE VIII.
PARENTAL ENCOURAGEMENT.
Hold the little hands in prayer, teach the weak knees
their kneeling;
Let him see thee speaking to thy God; he will not for     get it afterward:
When  old  and gray, will he  feelingly remember a
a mother's tender piety,
And the touching recollection of her prayers shall arrest
the strong man in his sin.
*         *        *          *e        *
And if thou train him to trust thee, he will not withhold
his reliance from the Lord.  
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