I N T R ODUCTION.
sI Lx'NG ha'e thought, my youthful friends,
A something to have sent you,
Tho' it may serve no other end
Than just a kind memento:
But how the subject-theme may gang
Let time and chance determine;
Perhaps it may turn out a sang,
Perhaps turn out a sermon," 
-T
I.
4 
THE
AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S
GUIDE TO POLITENESS
AND
FASHIION.
i 
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I 
'A S1t I ON;
OR,
FAM3ILIAR LETTERS TO HIS NEPHEWS, CONTAINING  RULES
OF ETIQUETTE,  DIRECTIONS FOR  TIIE  FORMATION OF
C.IARACTER, FTC., ETC., ILLUSTRATED BY SKETCHES
DRAWN FROM LIFE, OF THE MEN AND MANNERS
OF OUR TIMIES,
BY HENRY LUNETTES.
T ie good old name of GENTLEMAli.
TEN~YSON.
Pexple,ometimes cooplan of w                briter   who talk of "I, I."-   *  *  Ah'len I opeak t. y.
wyGelf. I a.   peoking to you of yourself, aLo.  IB it possible that you do not feel t]t,t it is.O.
V.,ro. Huo6*
NEW EDITION, CAIREFULLY REVISED BY THE AUTHOR.
NEW YOPK:
I)ERBY &t JACKSON, 498 1}IPOADVWAY.
i
1860. 
EK gED  accerding  to Act of ~ogress, in  th   year  1,7, by
DERBY & JACKSON,
h  th. Cteek'o Off.e of the District Court of the Uoitod Statri, for tho Soothern  Disteirt of N." IrorL
..O. R.. IL & Co., PRrTRA
i 
1to
HIS YOUNG COUNTRYMEN,
WITHiOUT SECTIONAL DISTINCTION,
THIS UNPRETENDING VOLUME, IS, WITH AFFECTIONATE  I,RIDE,
INSCRIBED BY
THE AUTHOR.
I
r
'am
..  a. "   
TABLE OF CONTENTS
LETTER I.
DRESS.
PiOPRIRTY of conforming to Fashion, with a due Regard for individual Peculi.
arities of Appearance-Eccentricity of Taste in Dress-Obedience to the Laws
of Convention-The vagaries of Genius, in this respect-Absurdity and
Affectation originated by the Example of Byron-All indifference and neglect
to be avoided, with regard to Dress-Anecdote of Dr. Johnson and the Sid dons-Porson, the Greek Scholar-Horace Greeley-Aphorism-Habits of a
distinguished Parisian savacnt-Example and opinion of Washington with
reference to Dress-Partiality of Americans for Black, as the color of dress  clothies-Practice of Men in other Countries, in the selection of Colors Morning Costume of an English Gentleman-Every English Gentleman use fully employed during a Portion of each Day-Dr.  Johnson's Test of good
Taste in Dress-The golden mean in Matters of Dress-Ceremonious Costume
of a Gentleman-AMode of wearing the Hair and Beard-Necessity for artistic
Taste in one's Barber-All extremes of Fashion in bad TasteVarious Absur  dities in this respect, inconsistent with the "keeping" of modern Costume
Collars, their size, shape, &c.-Sleeve-buttons-Bad taste of wearing flash
Stones-Use of Diamonds in Dress-Simplicity in the Appendages of Dress,
the characteristic of true refinement-Signet-rings-Distinctive Points of
difference between the exterior of a Gentleman and of a Loafer-All staring
patterns in Gentlemen's clothes exceptionable-A white suit throughout, for
warm Weathler-Thin Cravats-Body Linen-Kotzebue's test of high-breed  img-Streng,th and Comfort the essential Characteristics of working Garments
-Fitness and propriety even in matters of Dress, indicative of a well-regu  lated M[ind-Every American should aim to be a true Gentleman-Importance
of Trifles, when viewed in the aggregate-Influence of Dress, etc., upon
Character and Manner-Wearing Gloves in Dancing-White Gloves alone
unexceptionable for ceremonious Evening Occasions-Gloves suitable for the
Street and Morning Visits-Bright-colored Gloves in bad tcn-Illustrative
Anecdote-Over-Garments-Variety sanctioned by Fashion —Becomingness
of different Styles-Inconvenience and ill-appearance of Shawls-When
Suitable-South American Poncho-Anecdote-New reading of Lard Nel                                      l* 
CONTENTS.
son's celebrated Naval Orders-Difference between Talking and Writing,
the Authlor's Apology for numerous Defects-The Mill-boy of the SlashesThe Author unacquainted with the Elegancies of modern Fashionable
Nomenclature-Terms of agreement between the Author and his Correspondents,.............  25
LETTER II.
DIRESS-( Conftin ed.)
STORIES AND ANECDOTES ILLUSTRATIVE OF DRESS.
THE HERO OF THE BALL-ROO.M.-The Author's Liking for Mass Meetings-A
Fiete-Louis Phlilippe and the Militia Officer-A real Soldier conquered by
the Fair!-The i Observed of all Observers "-A Morning Visit-Dissection
of the "Observedl of all Observers!"-Tlhe Hero of the Ball-Room is con  signed to tlet "Tomb of the Capulets" in a bright, pea-green, thin Muslin
Shooting-Jacket!................ 
Anecdote of Bulwer, thle Novelist,...........                          v48
The Green Mountain Boy and his New Cloak,...........          49
Count Orloff at the "Peace Convention,"............ 50
THr F-ASHIONABLE H.AT.-A Young Clergyman resolves to Visit "the City
His Plans for Economy-A new Black Coat-A Secret Design-Fashionable
Rlidicule-The Young Clergyman makes the mortifying Discovery that he is
wrearing a " Shocking Bad Ilat "-Iteluctantly determines to buy a New One
-A Traveller in an Old 11 Kossutn1 "-Test of what is Admissible in the Dress
of the Clergy-Reflections of a "Sadlder and aWiser" lMan-Thlle Unicle all
LIis Little Nephew —" Bradbirook's" and the "Pretty Coat"-Anothler Secret
resign-Tile Tyrant of Social Life,...........         50
The Clief Justice-and  the Travelling Gloves of an Exquisite,...  54
Gov. MIArPcY AXD TuE  PARIsIAN.s.-The American Secretary of Legation at St.
Cloud, at a Court Dinner-Address of the Turkish Ambassador-The Dis  tinctive MIark of a GentleIman,........                                   56
THE RED CORNELIAN PATEk-Skletch of an Elegant leaning upon a Bass-viol  Poetry of ihe Female Voice-An Alpine Party-A  Lady's Avowal-Cox  combs-A  Mysterious  Stranger-AMy  Lundy-Lane  Sword-A  Figure of
Speech appropriate t,) a Sportsman's Daughter-The "Weed" and the Shawl
-An Apple-The "Tug of War "-The Pitiable Finger!. and the Cranberry
Pate6-Design of tlhe " Mysterious Stranger "-Jack the Giant-Killer and his
Victim-A ReIelation-The Dove and tlhe Vulture,..s
Postscript to Letter II.-Letter to the Author from a Distinguislhed Man of
Fashiosn —Diections for the Details of Gentlem.ell's Dress, on various Occa sions-Weddisng Costume-"lorning and Evening-Evening Dress-Dress
for Morning Visits-Costume for Bachelors' Dinner-Parties-General Re marks upon Cotlor, etc.-Effect of Black Dress-Elue-Brown-Anecdote of
Beau Brumretl-Opinion of a French Cr-itic-I1mportancs of the " Cut" of
Garments-Ease the First Essential-An Artistic Air-Wadding, or Stuffing,
to be used in moderation-Sensibie Observ ations of-a'Ian of Discriminating
Taste,....6.
7
x
f 
CONTENTS.
LETTER III
MANNER.
APHORISMl of a Celebrated Observer of Human Nature-Manner indicatie of
Character-Benefits of Care and Attention in Youth-The Fashionable Man  ner of the Day-Danger of Affectation in Manner-Americans too often
Caricature their European M)odels-Good Sense and Manly Independence
the best Guides in the Formation of MIanner-True Politeness-Elegant
definition of Politeness by a celebrated Autllor-Good Breeding inseparable
from the Character of a Gentleman-Sir Philip Sidney, a Christian Gen  tleman-Manner the proper expression of Mental Qualities-The Laws of
Convention-Their proper Use and Applicability-Conduct towards Supe  riors in Age and Station one Test of Good Breeding-Example of Washing  ton in this respect-Polished Manners of the Men of Revolutionary Days  Bad Taste of Slang Language and Disrespectful Familiarity in speaking of
Superiors or Parents-Reverence rendered to Age by the Ancients-Rude  ness of "Young America" in this respect-The Law of Kindness a sure
Correction-Possibility of Benefit to be derived from the consideration of
those who have seen the World-Disadvantages of early Neglect of Manner
-Improvement always possible, at any age-Benefit of the early Acquisi  tion of Habits of Self-Control and Self-Possession-Advantage of proper
Examples in this respect,........                              72
rLIP, HANDSOME E.NGIEER.-A Railroad D6p6t and a Dilemma-The  Fielhl  Book and Soiled Boots-The Blessings of Civilization-An honest Saxon
Word-TThe Chlarge-The Arrival-A Recognition-A MAetamiorphosis-l-he
Economy of driving in Dress-Boots-A Whisper-The Secret of the Charm
of Manner,.................... 79
AN AFTER-DINNER COTERIE.-The St. Nicholas Itotel and Santa Claus-A Plea  sant Meeting-A Social Re-Union-The Dramiuatis Personse of the Occasion
-A Sketch-" Willardis," at Washington —The weary Child-The Courteous
Strangers-.A Grateful Tribute-Charge against American Ladies-South  ern Manner-The Stupid Porter and the coittre-te2tops-An Inference  A Scene in a Country Tavern-A French-Woman and a Yankee-Woman  Jonathan and tho Snuff-box-A Tooth-ache and a Rocking-chlair-Sympathy
and Vivacity-The Climax of Impatience!.......                        82
4 POLITE YOUNG IRL-LANDER.-A Fight-An Exclamation-A Fair Vision,. 91
LETTER IV.
MIANNER-(Coutignued.)
PRACTICAL DIRECTIONS.-Senator Sumner's appropriate  Sentence-Primary
importance of Maninier at Home-A reiterated Charge-Manner to Parents Unvarying confidence and reverence due to a Father-Tenderness of Man ner to a Mother-Example of Washington-A Revolutionary Ball-Nature
the best Teacher of Duty-TTO great familiarity, even with Relations, objet
xi 
CONTENTS.
tionable-Manner to Brothers and Sisters-No assumption of superiority
justified by Birthright, or Circumstances-Every Man the Guardian of his
Sisters-A Sister's Love-Manner to a Wife-The preservation of her Affection-The " Spectator," and a Sketch of an Old-School Husband-Impressive
Teaching-A Plea for Old-Fashioned Authors - Reverence for the Larm'
should be inviolate-The Graces of Manner always discerned by the Gentler
Sex-The Sensibility of Woman-Domestic Politeness-Cheerful Manner in
conferring Favors —Importance of Trifles, in this respect-The true nobleness of Manhood-Aphorism of the Latinists-Manner to Children-Their Iunocence and Susceptibility —The influence of Example in this regard —Children
judges of Character-Power of the Law of Love over the Young-Supremacy
of Moral Obligation-Manner not to be regarded as insignificant by the
Christian Gentleman-Manner to the Unfortunate-Towards Servants and
Inferiors-Arrogance to be avoided —Mode of addressing Domestics-Queen
Elizabeth and her Courtiers-Effect of a pleasant Word and a pleasant Tone
-Peculiar sensitiveness of the Uneducated in this respect-The professional
figure of an old Soldier!-IManifestations of Sympathy for Inferiors in Station-Redily instructed by a kind Manner,.......
ANECDOTES AND TALES, ILLUSTRATIVE OF M3ANNER.
EMPERORS NOT ALWAYS WELL-BRED.-Manner of Napoleon le Grand to Women
-A Family Levee-Reply of the Mother of Bonaparte to her Son-Napo  leon's stringent enforcement of Court Rules-The First Consul and the Lady's
Train-Josephine's timidity and her Hlusband's brutality-Maria Louise's
Bridal-Scene-An almost sacrilegious Misnomer,.......... 104
A FATHER'S REBUKE.-A Steamer on the Ohio-The two Friends-Cabin-Chlit.
chat-Youthful mirth reproved-The effect of a Scene-The fortunate Guest  A Family Mansion and Family Group-A "Study,"....105
Thle Moral Sublime: An Anecdote,..............110
The Sailor and his Mother,...............                   111
T'rI  BROTHERS.-Early Separation-Home Meetings-The pomposity of the
Alderman-A Family Quarrel-The respectful Son-The Recording Angel  Charley visits the City-A Morning Call-Its Result,......      111
Washington Irving's Sketch of an old English Gentleman,...  118
ihe Poet Rogers and his Sian Friday,..............114
-E  FAMILY GREEN-ROOM, OR LIFE BEHIND THE SCENES.-An old Soldier
Weather-bound-A Morning Sortie-An Invitation-Youthful Hospitality- 4
A Nursery Fixture-The "Eldest Son and Hope of the House "-A playful
Salutation-The "Land of Promise "-An Armful-Lunch-An unexpected
Interposition-An Overland Journey-A Catastrophe-Rubicon Crossing The Dolphin-The baked Apple-A A" Poor Mian "-The " Cup of Cold Water"
-A Stick for each-Spectacled Reconnoitering-Clheerful Words-Devotoenal
Scene-Scientific Inquiry-A Capture-Escape by Stratagem-Almost a
Martyr-The old Soldier re-visits the " Mess" of his Camp-ground-A dan gerot, Invader-Green-room Asides-A Rehearsal-College Comforts-A
Sk.lh by one of'ena-A Stage-Trick —Anecdote of John Kemble, the Actor A Disclaimer and a Commentary-Exit of a "Star"-Table-Talk,.        II1
xii
F-_ 
CONTENTS.
LETTER V.
MANNER IN DETAIL.
MANNRR IN TnHE STREET-Upon Meeting a Friend or Acquaintance-Proper Mode
of Salutation-" Drawing" Gloves - Stopping to Talk-Tact and Ease Leaving a Companion in thle Street-Manner to Inferiors in the Street-Rule,
when meeting a Gentleman-Acquaintance walking with Ladies whom you do
not know-Vhein you are acquainted with both Ladies and Genitlemen
whom, you mavy  eet-Slhaking Hands willh Ladies in the Street at Meeting
or at Parting-Courteous Phrases-Par-ting Ceremonies-Precedence in the
Street-T aking the Arm  of another Manl-Walking with Ladies-Proper
relative Position-Opening Doors, etc.-WliWhen meeting Ladies-Upon being
stopped by a Lady —Ianner to a Stranger Lady-When you wish to Speak
with a Lady in the Street —When wishing to join a Lady in her Promenade —
Proper Caution in this respect-Rule respecting the Recognition of a Lady An Awkward Third-Considerations due to Ladies in case of Street-Acci dents-Courtesy to Ladies who are alighting from a Carriage-Custom of
offering the Arm to Ladies in the Street, when ascending Steps, etc.-On
entering Church, etc., with Ladies-As one of a Travelling-Party, etc.-Gait
in walking with elderly Persons or Ladies generally-Staring at Ladies in
Public Places-Manner to Ladies entering an Opera House, at a Pump Room, etc.-Audible Comments upon Strangers,......12
,KETCItES ILLUSTRATIVE OF MANNERS.
TuE " CUT" PORTUGUENsr.-Newspapers and Coffee-West Point and a Discus sion-A Foreigner's Revenge,...............135
The Broken Fan: a Lady's Lament,.............136
The "Iroi Duke," andl Youtlihful Reminiscences,..........137
Unexpected Rencontre-A Stroll and a Compliment-A Gentleman of the Old
School in thle Street-A Tribute-A Daughter's Boast-A WVedding-The
Bridal Tour-TlThe Rail-Car-AAn Intruder-True Politeness-The Glass of
MIedical-wvater-The Denouement,.............137
THE L.TTER-BOX. -An Exciting Exclamation-A Group for a Painter-A
Query-iEntreaties —An Explanatory Prelude-The Fruitless Search-The
-Appeal —A Dialogue-An Admissionl-Musical Sounds-A Prosy Inquiry The Sum.ming up-The Dam,per-The Wish of a True Woman-An Insinua tion-A Description drawn from Life-A Valuable Portrait-A Tribute to
American Gentlemen-An Illustration-Stage Politeness to a Lady-Acted
Poe+rv: the Poetry of Beal Life!..............141
THJE PRISONl0-l OF TIlE COLILISEUMa.-A Moonlighlt Walk-A Secret Appeal-The
Fair El1icureani-The Recitation-An Apparitiois-The Lasso-A Witty
Reply-The Guerdon-The Clarion-note-A Brilliant-lIorseback on the
Campagnia of Rome-TiThe Pope's Cortege-A Recognition-A Denouement  A Confession and the Retort Courteous-A Sudden Transformation-The
Beautiful Arm-Powers' Studio-The Artist's Discovery-An Intimnation,. 11
xiii 
CON'ENT'S.
LETTER VI.
MANNER-(Contiizued.)
RULES TO BE OBSERVED IN MAKING MORNING VISITS, AND IN SOCIETY GENRALL!T
Aversion to Ceremonious Morning Visits-Proper Hours-Suitable Brevity Character of Conversation-Card of Announcement-Visits made at Hotels
-Precautionary Rules-Mode of entering a Drawing-Room-Drawiig Room Rules-VWhen Meeting other Visitors-AWhen interrupted-When wish ing to leave a Message or snake an Appointment, etc.-Proper Courtesy
when Visitor, a,re taking Leave-Short Visits of mere Ceremony-Attendan cc
upon Ladies cmaking Morning Visits-Attentions Suitable-Introducing Ladies to take precedence in rising to go away-Gentlemen calling together
-Dress, etc.,-Wlhen awaiting Ladies in a Public Parlor-Standing when
Ladies are Standing —Offering the Arm-Suitable Gait-Minutia of Politeness
-)Morning Wedding-Receptions-lVhom you should Congratulate-General
Directions-Tact and Good Taste-Leaving Cards-Visits on New-Year's Day
-Ceremonious In tercourse with Superiors-Manner at Church-M3rs. Clha pone's Rule —Self-possession one of the Distinctive Characteristics of Good Breeding-Whispering, Lauglhing, Staring, etc., to be avoided-Retaining
the lHat not ad.issible —Sa.litations at Church-Attending Ladies at Con certs, Lectures, Opera, etc. etc.-Propriety of Retaining the Seat you take on
Entering-Incosimodiug Othlers-Courtesy due to Those near you-Manner
of well-bred Persons in a Picture Gallery,  etc.,-Reverence due to the
Beautiful and the Good-Partaking of Refreshneilts in Public Places-Dis courtesy of any Semblance of Intrusiveness-Etiquette in Joiniing a Party
-Politeness not to be laid aside in Business-intercourse-Elaborate  cere mony unsuitable, at times-The Secret of Popularity-Manner at a Public
Table-Courtesy to Others-Self-importance a Proof of Vulgarity-" Fast"
Feeding-Plrdonable Luxuriousnesss-Staring-Listening to Private Con versalions-Rudeness of Loud Talking and Lauglhing, Shlrugs, Glances, or
W hlispers-Courtesy due to a Lady entering a Dining-Rloom-To Older Per sons —.Meeting or passing Ladies in Public llouses-Intiuence of Trifles in
the Formation of Chlaracter-Frequent Discourtesy in ignoring the Presence
of Ladies in Public Parlors, etc. etc.-Politeness due to Women, in Practical
Emeire      -ncies-Nocturnal Peccadilloes-Travelling-True  Rules-Courtesy
to Ladies, to Age, to the Suffering-Indecorum of using Tobacco, etc. etc.,
in Public Conveyances-Ceremonya Shield, but not an~xcuse-A Challenge
Extraordinary-Anecdote of P-, the Poet-Practice and Tact essential
to secure Polish of Mlanner-Life-long  Stumbling-Practical Rules, the
result of Annoying Ex,perience-Carriage Hire-Driving with Ladiies, etc., lanner in Soial Intercourse-As Ilost-Etiquette of Dinners at Home Precedence-Disti]guished Guests-A Lady-A Gentleman-Reception aind
Introduction of Guests-True Hospitality as tIost, better than mere Cere mlony-Manner towards those unacquainted with  Conventional  Rules —
Manner at Routs, at Home-Attention to Guests compatible with good ton
-Anecdote-Respect to be rendered to all one's Aquaistances in General
F
KIV 
CONTENTS.
Society-To Marriel Lalies-To Strangers-The Distinction thuis Exhibited
between the Under-bred and the genuine Man of the World-No one entitled
to Self-Excuses in this Regard..........   157 
ANECDOTES, SKETCHES, ETC.
A PtoPHEvY.-Table-Talk-A Rescue and a Lady's Gratitude-Jealousy Dis  armed-Backwoodsmen-Cordiality-Costume and Courtesy-Retort Cour teousAn Interpolation and a Protest-Mr. Clay's Popularity with the Fair
-Secret of his Success in Society —Mr. Clay and the Belle Esprit-A Defi nition of Politeniess-A Comical Illustration-A Pun-A well-turned Com pliiment-Unconsciousness of Self-A  Stranger's  Impressions-A Poetic
Tril)ute...........                                                    179
THE DEVOTEE OF THS BEAUTIFUL.-A Morning Drive-Anticipation-Spiritual
Enjoyment-Discord-A Disappointment,........... 184
TILE SOLDIER'S WIFfS AND THL  GHOUL.-A Journey-The truly Brave-The
Arrival-A Chiapter of Accidents-Self-Reproacli-The Ghoul-The Calm  ness of Despair-Tlhe Yersatility of Woman-But a Step from the Sublime to
tile Ridiculous-Thle Ghoul again-A Defiant Spirit-Punctilious Ceremony, 1S6
A FAIR C-AmsPION.-A Query and its Solution-A Sketch-Raillery-A Tote-k  T6te-An Interruption-" Fashionable" llospitality-Genuine Ilospitality  A Mother's Advice-An indignant Spirit-Rebellion,..... 193
ThIE MIAN OF ONE IDE\. —Ai  Object for Worship-A Soir6e-A Polite Collo  qu,y-The l'Sst at Ease-A pleasing IIostess-Thie Climuax,.., 198
Young America-an Anecdote,.............2(0)
THE  PRACTICAL PIILOSOPHDR.-A handsome  Aristocrat-An Accusation  A Courteous Neigilbor-Fall of a " Fixed Star "-Favorite Aphorisml of Mrs.
Combe-The Daughter of the Siddons,............ 201
LETTER VII.
HEALTH.
THE TOILET, AS CONNECTED WITH HEALTH,
the True Basis of Ilealth-Temperance an inclusive Term —Foundation of the
Eminence of J. Q. Adam.s-Ilis Life a Model for the Young-Ills early HIabits
-Yigorous Ohl  Age-E-iample of Franklin in regard to Teiperaice Illustrations afforded by our National  Itistory-Tihe Bath-Varying Opi
nions  und Co(nstitutions —Imprudent use of the Baith-Bishop  iHeber General Directions-The Art of Swilnming-Sponging-Deficieicies of the
Toilet in England-Collateral Benefits arising from habitual Sponge-bath ing-The Hair-All Fantastic Dressing of the Hair in bad taste-Use of
Pomades-Vulgarity of using Strong Perfimues-Thie Teeth-Use of Tobacco
— Smoke Diipellers-The Nails-Tlihe Feet-A comiplete Wa,rdrobe essential
to Ilealth-Early Rising-Its manifold Advantages-Example of Washilgton,
Franklini, etc., in this respect-Daniel Webster's Eulogy upon Morning Retiring early-Truth of a Medica,l Dogma-Oppositionl of Fashion and
Health-Early Hours essential to the Student-Ilnportance of the early Ac quisition of Correct ilabits in this Regard-Illustration-A combination of
xv 
CONTENTS.
Right Habits essential to Health-Exercise-Walking-Pure Air-The Lungs
of  a                                          City- Superority  of Morning Air-An  Erect  Carriage of the Body in
Wal     king-Periodical Exercise-Necessary Caution-The Unwise StSdent-A
W        ar     n     ing-A                       Knowledge of Dietetics and Physiology requisite to the Preservation of Health-Suitable Works or- these Subjects-Riding and Driving
the Accomplishments of a GentlemrDan-A Horse a desirable PossessionTestimony of Dr. Johnson-The Pride of Skill-Needful Caution-Judicious
Selection of Locale for these Modes of Exercise-Dr. Beatie's Tribute to
Nature-Importance of Temperance in Eating and Drinking, as regards
Health-The Cultivation of Simple Tastes in Eating-Proper Preparation of
Food important to Health-Re-action of the Human Constitution-Effect of
Bodily Health upon the Mlind-The pernicious Use of Condiments, etc., etc.
YOUNG AMBITION'S LADDER.-Hours for Meals-Dining Late-Injurious Effects
of Prolonged Abstinence-The Stimulus of Distension-Repletion-Necessity of deliberate and thorough Mastication-Judicious Use of Time in
Eating-The Use of Wine, Tobacco, etc.-The truly Free!-Dr. Johnson's
Opinion-Novel Argument against the Habits of Smoking and DrinkingAdvice of Sir Walter Raleigh to the Young-Then and Now-Council of a
"Looker-on" in this Utilitarian Age-Erroneous Impressions-Authority
of a celebrated Writer-Social Datics-The unbent Bow-Rational Enjoyment the wisest Obedience to the Natural Laws-A determined Pursuit in
Life essential to Happiness and Health-Too entire Devotion to a Single
Object of Pursuit, unwise-Arcadian Dreams-Attainable Rcalities-Truisms
-Decay of the Social and Domestic Virtues-Human Sacrifices-Relaxations and Amusements requisite to Health-Superiority of Amusements in
the Open Air for Students and Sedentary Persons generally-Benefits of
Cheerful Companionship-Objection to Games, etc., that require Mental
Exertion-Converse  Rule-Fashionable  Watering-places ill adapted to
Health-Avocations of the Farmer, Tastes as a Naturalist, Travel, Sporting, etc., recommended-Depraved Public Taste-Slavery to Fashion-Habits
of Europeans, in this respect, superior to our ownI-Modern DegeneracyFolly thralled by Pride,.......... 208
7'
ILLUSTRATIVE SKETCHES AND ANECDOTEIS.
To GIVE ETERNITY TO TINE.-The Senate-Chamber and the Dying Statesman
-Thle Moral Sublime,................225
JONATHAN'S SINS AND A FOREIGNER'S PECCADILIo.-Celebrities-Dinner-table
Sallies-Grave Charges-Yankee Rejection of Cold Meats-Self-Preserva tion the First Law of Nature!-A Mystery Solved-National Impartiality Anecdote-Storming a Fort-Successful Defence, by a Lady, of herself! A Stratagem-The Daughter of a Gun-An Explanation-The Tortures of
Outraged Modesty,................226
Dr. Abernethy and his Yankee Patient,........32
COSMOPOLITAN CHIT-CHAT.-A  Heterogeneous  Party-The Golden Hlorn Contemplations in a Turkish Caique-A Discussion-" Christian Dogs" and
the Dogs of Constantinople-An unpleasant Discovery-A Magical Toucb The Song of the CaidjisA National Example,.:.... 283
xvi 
CONTENTS.
Tih I[MFTURBABLE GUEST.-A Dinner-Table Scene,..... 288
The Youth and the Philosopher: Lines by Whitehead,..... 239
LETTER VIII.
LETTER-WRITING.
Importance of this Branch of Education-Its Frequent Neglect-Usual Faults
of the Epistolary Style-Applicability of the rule of the Lightning-Tamer Variety of Styles appropriate to varying Subjects and Occasions-Impossi bility of laying down all-inclusive General Rules-Requisites of Letters of
Business-Legibility in Caligraphy-Affectation in this respect-Avoidance
of Servile Imitation-Advantage of possessing a good Business-hand-Time  saving Importance of Rapidity-Letters of Introduction-Form Suitable for
Ordinary Purposes-Specimen of Letters Introducing a Person in Search of
a Business Situation, Place of Residence, etc., etc.-Introduction of Artists,
Professional Men, etc.-Presenting a Celebrity by Letter-Proper Attention
to Titles, Modes of abbreviating Titles, etc., etc.-Letters of Introduction to
be unsealed-Manner of Delivering Letters of Introduction-Cards, Enve  lopes, Written Messages, etc., proper on such Occasions-Appointments and
due Courtesy, etc.-Form of Letter to a Lady of Fashion-Etiquette in regard
to Addresses-Letters Presenting Foreigners-Personal Introductions-Com  mon Neglect of Etiquette in this respect-Proper Mode of Introducing
Young Persons, or those of inferior social position-Of Introducing Men to
Women, very Young Ladies, etc.-Voice and Manner on such Occasions  Explanations due to Strangers-Common Social Improprieties-American
Peculiarity-Hotel Registers, etc.-Courtesy due to Relations as well as to
Strangers-Impropriety of indiscriminate Introductions-Preliminary Cere  monies among Men-In the Street-At Dinners-Evening-Parties-Recep  tions-Conventional Rules subject to Changes, dictated by good-sense  Supremacy of the Law of Kindness-Visiting Cards-European Fashion of
Cards-Style usual in America-Place of Residence-Phrases for Cards  Business Cards: Ornaments, Devices, Color, Size, Legibility, etc.-Letters of
Recommendation-Moral Characteristic-Proper Style of Letters of Condo  lence-Form of Letters of Congratulation-Admissibility of Brevity-Letters
to Superiors-Ceremonious Form for such Communications-Proper Mole of
Addressing Entire Strangers-Common Error in this respect-Punch's Sar  casm-Diplomats and Public Functionaries should be Models in Letter-writ  ting-An Enigma-Diplomatic Letters-Letters of Friendship and Affection  General Requisites of Epistolary Composition-Letters a Means of conferring
and Receiving Pleasure-Distinctive Characteristic of the Epistolary Style  Peccadilloes-Aids facilitating the Practice in this Accomplishment-Notes
of Invitation, Acceptance, Regret-Observance of Usage-Simplicity the
best ton and taste-Etiquette with regard to Invitations to Dinner-Courtesy
in Matters of Social Life-Error of an American Author-Ceremony pro  perly preceding taking an uninvited Friend to a Party-Abstract good-bs eed.
ing the best Test of Propriety-Proper form of Ceremonious Notes of Invi  tation-Use of the Third Person in writing Notes-Mailed  Letters-Local
xvii
0 
CONTENTS.
Addresses, Form of Signature, etc., etc.-Requisites of Letter-Superscription
-Writing-Materials-Small Sheets, Margins, etc.-Colored Paper,.Fanciful
Ornaments, Initials, &c.-Envelopes and Superscription- Wax, Seals, etc.European Letters-Rule-Promptitude in Letter-writing-Study of Published
Meode beneficial  to the Young-Scott, Byron, Moore, Horace Walpole,
Washington-Sir W. W. Pepys, etc.-Curiosities of the Epistolary StyleAnticipated Pleasure,........... 241
ILLUSTRATIONS.
TIE WARNING-A SKETCH OF NILE-TRAvEL.-A Group and a Dialogue amid
the Ruins of Thebes-Mustapha Aga and the Temple of Karnac-The Arri  val-The Distribution-Delights, Disappointments, and Despair,... 263
Anecdote of the Mighty Wizard of the North,..........   27Ts
k DRAWING-ROOM  COTERIE OF CRITICiSM.-The Library and the Intruder Paternal Authority-Condemnation-Comments and Criticisms-A Compli ment-A fair Bevy-Wit and Wisdom-Sport and Seriousness-A Model Note
and a Fair Eulogist-Paternal Approbation-What American Merchants
should be-An Anecdote-Discoveries and Accessions-Apropos-Fair Play
and a Ruse-A Group of Critics-An Invitation-A Rival-An Explanation
and an Admission-A Rescue and Retreat-An Old Man's Privilege-Seven teen and Eighty-two-May and December,........... 273
The First Billet-Doux,............ 284
LETTER IX.
ACCOMPLISII MENTS.
Oomparative Importance of Accomplishments-Difference between Europeans
and Americans in this regard-Self-Education the most Useful-Peculiar
Incentives to Self-Culture possessed by Americans-Cultivation of a Taste
for the Ideal Arts-Desirableness of a Knowledge of Drawing-Incidental
Benefit resulting from the Practice of this Art-A Taste for Music-Mistaken
Conceptions of the Importance of this Accomplishment-Advantage of learn ing Dancing-Desirableness of Riding and Driving-Various Athletic Exer cises-A ready and graceful Elocution of great Importance-A Source of
Social Enjoyment-The Art of Conversation-Use of Slang Phrases-Dis advantages of Occasional Lenity towards the Corruptions of Language-The
only Safe Rule-Common want of Conversational Power-The Superiority
of the French over all other People in this Respect-The Salons of Paris Pleasures of the Canail-French Children-Practice essential to Success The Embellishments of Conversation-Habits of a Celebrated Talker Anecdote of Sheridan-Some Preparation not Unsuitable before going into
Society-Qualities most essential to secure Popularity in General Society The "Guilt of giving Pain "-Avoidance of Personalities-The Language
of Compliment-Two  Good Rules-Reprehensibleness  of the Habit of
indulging in Gossip, Scandal, or Puerile Conversation-The Records of
Heaven's High Chancery "-Importance of Exact Truthfulness in Conver sation-The Capacity of adapting Language to              Occasions of Importanc 
xviii 
CONTENTS.
Use of Foreign Phrases or Words-Tact and Good-Breeding the Safest
Guides in such Matters-Advantage of the Companionship of Cultivated
Persons, in Promoting Conversational Skill-Misuse of Strong LanguageConversational Courtesies-Aphorism by Mr. Madison-Modesty Proper to
the Young in this Respect-Bad taste of talking of one's self in Society-The
World an Unsuitable Confidant-Quotation from Carlyle-Sympathy with
Others-The softer graces of Social Intercourse-Cheerfulness universally
Agreeable-A Glee in which Everybody can join-Anecdote-Human Sunbeams-Judicious  selection  of Conversational  Topics-Avoidance  of
Assumption and Dictatorialness-Proper Regard for the Right of OpinionCourtesy due to Ladies and Clergymen-Folly of Promulgating Peculiarities
of Religious Opinion-Rudeness of manifesting Undue Curiosity respecting
the Affairs of Others-Boasting of Friends-Anecdote-Quickness at Repartee, one of the Colloquial Graces-Dean Swift and his "fellow "-Anecdote of the Elder Adams-A Ready and Graceful Reply to a Compliment not
to be Disregarded among the Elegancies of Conversation-The Retort
Courteous-Lady Hamilton and Lord Nelson-Specimens of Polite Phraseology-General Conversation with Ladies-Essential Characteristics of
Light Conversation-Improprieties and Familiarities-Disagreeable Peculiarities-A Dismal Character-Anecdote of Cuvier-Tact in Avoiding Personal Allusions-Peculiarity of American Society-Ages of the Loves and
Graces-A Young Jonathan and an English Girl-Violation of Confidence
-Sacredness of Private Conversations-Politeness of a Ready Compliance
with the Wishes of Others in Society........                    286
ILLUSTRATIVE ANECDOTES ANDI) SKTCHES.
aNG FaROID AND SANDWICHES.-A Ride with a Duke-The eager young Sports man-A Rencontre-A Query and a Response-A substantial Boneo Bouche. 812
A Frenchman's Relaxation..........                             314
Polemics and Politeness-Watering-place Society-Omnibus Orations-Sul phur-water and Sacrifices-Religionists, Ladies and License, Reaction and
Remorse..........315
An unexpected Declaration-Parisian farore-The unknown  Patient-Prac tice and Pathos..............   317
The Three Graces-Honor to whom Honor was Due-A Group for a Sculptor
-Woman's Wit..................318
Scene in a Drawing-room..3..........$20
Musical Mania-Guitar playing and the play of Intellect.......321
A Fair Discussion.,   *........         323
National Dialect-A Bagatelle...........324
A Murillo and a Living Study-A Morning in the Louvre with a congenial
Friend-A Painter's Advice-True Epicureanism.....826
Ready Elocution and Ready Wit-A Congressional Sketch.......827
xix 
CONT'ENTS,
LETTER X.
HABIT.
HABIT always Indicative of Character-Its Importance not properly eti mated by the Young-Rudeness and Republicanism too often Synonymous Fashion not always Good-breeding-Social American Peculiarities-Man ners of Americans abroad-Rowdyism  at the Tuileries-The Propriety of
Learning from Older Nations the lighter Elegancies of Life-Madame Soul6
and the Queen of Spain-The tie of a Cravat and the Affairs of" Change " George Peabody a Model American-The distinctive name of Gentleman Great Importance of Suitable Associates-Spanish Proverb-The true Social
Standard-Safeguard against Eccentricity-Habits of Walking, Standing,
Sitting-Directions-Aaron Burr and De Witt Clinton-Bachelor Privileges Decorum in the presence of Ladies-Carrying the Hat, ease of Attitude, etc.
-Benefits of habitual Self-Restraint-Habits at Table-Eating with a Knife
-Soiling the Lips, Picking the Teeth, etc., etc.-Nicety in Matters of Detail —
Courtesy due to others-Mannler to Servants in Attendance at Table —
Avoidance of Sensuousness of Manner-French Mode of Serving Dinners The Art of Carving-Helping Ladies at Table-Rule in Carving Joints of
MIeat-Changing the Plate-Proper Mode of Taking Fish-Game-Butter at
Dinner-English Custom-Details of Habit at Table-Rights of Freemen-A
Just Distinction-Unhealthfulness of drinking too much at Dinner-Fast
Eating of Fast Americans-Sitting upon two Legs of a Chair-Anecdote Habits of using the Handkerchief-Toying with the Moustache, etc., etc. Ladies careful Observers of Minutiae-Belief of the Ancient Gauls respecting
Women-Habits of Swaggering in Public Places-General Suggestions Ladies and Invalids in Terror of a Human War-Horse-Courtesy due while
playing Chess and other Games-Self-control in Sickness-Premature adop tion of Eye-Glasses-Affectation in this respect-Proper Attitude while
Reading or Studying-Habits of Early Rising-A Poetic Superstition unwarranted by Health and Truth-Variance between Health and Fashion in
regard to Early Hours-Aphorism by Gibbon-Habit of taking NostrumsAvoidance of Quacks-Habit of acting as the Protectors of the Dependent
Sex-Effect of Trifling Habits upon the Opinions formed of us by WomenHabits of handling Prints, Bijouterie, and Boquets, of Smoking, Whispering
and Ogling, to be shunned-Importance of Methodical Habits of Reading
and Studying-Value of the Gold Dust of Time-Anecdote-True Rule for
Reading to Advantage-Habit of Reading aloud-Great Importance of a
Habit of Industry-The Superiors of mere Genius-Habits of Cheerfulness
and Contentment not to be overlooked by the Young-Cultivation of Habitual Self-Respect-Pride and Poverty not Necessarily Antagonistic-SelfRespect a Shield against the Shafts of Calumny-True Honor not affected by
Occupation or Position-Benefits of a Habit of Self- Examination-The habitual Study of the Scriptures recommended-CHIRIST, the Great Model of Hu.
manity —Ungentlemanly Habit of being late at Church, etc.-Pernicious
Effects of prevalent Materialism-Pers(nal Enjoyment resulting from habitu
xx
r
It
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CONTENTS.
ily idealizing all Mental Associations with Women-Defencelessness an
impassable Barrier to Oppression from true Manhood-Impropriety of
speaking loudly to Ladies in public Places, of attracting Attention to them,
their Names and Prerogatives-Safe Rule in this regard-The Habit of Sympathy with Human Suffering a Christian duty-Mistaken Opinion of Young
Men in this respect-The Examples presented by the Lives of the Greatly
Good-Mighty Achievements in the Cause of Humanity in the Power of a
Few-Habits of Good-Humor, Neatness, Order and Regularity due to othersFastidlious Nicety in Matters of the Toilet, demanded by proper respect for
our daily Associates-The Importance of Habits of Exercise, Temperance
and Relaxation-Economy to be Cultivated as a Habit-Economy not Degrading-Habit of Punctuality-Slavery to mere System  condemned —
Remark of Sir Joshua Reynolds-Habit of Perseverance-Value of the
Habit of putting Ideas into Words-Of Habits of Reflection and Observation-Of rendering Respect to Age, etc.-Culture of Esthetical PerceptionsAmerican Peculiarity-Curiosity not tolerated among the well-bred-The
inestimable value of Self-Possession-Its Natural Manifestations-Concluding
Advice,..............                     3...... 29
ILLUSTRATIONS.
ONATHAN AND QUEEN VICTORIA.-A Stroll through the World's Palace-A
Royal Party-Tile Yankee Enthroned-A Confession,.....362
)AMON AND PYTHIAS MODERNIZED.-A Family Council-A Celebrity and a
Hotel Dinner-A Discovery-A Sketch-Telegraphing and Triumph-Beer
and a Break-down-Drawing-room Chit-chat-A Young Lady's Eulogy Retort Courteous-A New Acquaintance-An Explanation-Dinner the
Second-Sense and Sensibility-A Ruse-A Request and Appointment-A
Contrast-Catastrophy-A Note and a Disappointment-Fair Frankness An Unexpected Rencontre-The Re-union-Pictures and Pleasantries-The
Protector of the Helpless,...........363
VISIT TO ABBOTSFORD.-Sir Walter Scott as Colonel of Dragoons, Sheriff of
the County, Host, Friend, and Author-Mrs. Hemans and Little "Charley"
-Courteous  Hospitality-At Dril;urg with Mr. LockhartSolution of a
Mystery-Sir Walter's favorite "Lieutenant,".3......882
Confession of a Celebrated Orator,.~..3.5.....38S
THE LEMON AND TIHE CARNATION.-A Stage-Coach Adventure-A fair Passen ger-Churlishness and Cheerfulness-A Comic Duet-Stage-Sickness-An
impromptu Physician-Offerings-Acknowledgment!-A              Docile P atient Welcome Home-Arrival-A Family Group-A Discovery-Recognition An Invitation-Hospitality-Sunday Evening at the Rectory-The Honora ble Occupation of Teaching Young Ladies-A Prophesy-Family Jars-A
Compliment,...................3886
A Notability and his Newfoundland Dog,........400
EXTREMES MEET. -European Travelling-Companion-A cool Place and a
"cool" Character-A Foreigner's Criticism-Fair Commentators-Dinner t&ble Sketch-Three Parties in a Rail-Car-Sunshine and Showers-An Earth
xxi
I 
CONTENTS.
Angel-Anecdote of Thorwalsden, the Danish Sculptor-A Scene-Gentle manly Inquiries-Paddy's Explanation,.,......401
HAvB YOU BEEN IMPATIENTm?-A Broken Engagement-About a Horse-Char
ley's Orphan Cousin-Ideas of Luxury-Novel Experiences-The freed Bird
-Bless God for Flowers and Friends!-A Recoil-A Tirade-The Bird Re caged-Self-Examination-Retrospection and Resolution-A Note and a
Boquet-A Blush Transfixed,.'......... 412
LETTER XI.
MENTAL AND MORAL EDUCATION.
The Author's Conscious Incapacity-Education within the Power of All  Americans not Socially Trammelled-The Two Attributes of Mind essential
to Self-Culture-Prospective Discernment-The most enlightened System of
Education-Duty of Cultivating the Moral as well as the Intellectual Nature
-The Acquisition of Wealth not to be regarded as the highest Human
Attainmtnent-Definition of Self-Culture-Reading for Amusement only,
Unwise-" Aids and Appliances" of Judicious Reading-Example of a
Great Man-Fictitious Literature-Pernicious Effects often resulting from
a Taste for Light Reading-Condemnation of Licentious Novels-Advantages
of Noting Choice Passages in Reading-Carlyle's Criticism of Public Men  The Study of History of Great Importance-Benefits resulting from the
Perusal of well-selected Biographies-Enumeration of celebrated Works of
this Character-Newspaper and Magazine Reading-A Cultivated Taste in
Literatmue and Art the result of thorough Mental Training-Affectation and
Pretention in this regard to be avoided-Critical Assumption condemned  Impressions produced upon observing Judges by a Pretentious Manner  "The World's Dread Laugh "-Advantages of Foreign Travel-Misuse of
this Advantage-Knowledge of Modern Languages essential to a complete
Education-False Impression prevalent on this point-Philosophic Wisdom
-Wise Covetousness-Tact the Result of General Self-Culture-An Individual
Moral Code of advantage-Example of WVashinlgton-Education not com pleted by a Knowledge of Books-Definition of True Education-The Deve lopment of the Moral Perceptions promotive of Intellectual Advancement Undue Exaltation of Talent over Virtue-Religious Faith the legitimate
Result of rightly-directed Education-Needful Enlightenment of Conscience
-The Life of Jesus Christ the best Moral Guide-Book-Charity to the Faults
of others the Result of Self-Knowledge-The Golden Rule of the Great
Teacher-The highest Aim of Humanity-Reverence for the Spiritual Nature
of Mlan the Result of Self-Culture-Danger of Self-Indulgence in regard to
trifling Errors-Caution against the Infidel Philosophy of the Times-The
establishment of Fixed Principles of Action-The True Mode of computing
Life,.................... 422
Apollo turned Author: a Bagatelle,   u..s*......49
Th!e Attainment of Knowledge under Difficulties-Necessity the Nurse of True
Greatness-The Learned Blacksmith-The Wagoner-The Mill-Boy of the
Slashes-Franklin and Webster,.............. 439
xxii
I
I
I 
CONTENTS.
A Peep at Peers-by, from the " Loopholes of Retreat,"....440
fhe Force of Genius-A Man about Town-Anecdote-Manly Indignation,.441
Old-Fashioned Honor,...........442
Webster on Biblical Studies,.......... 443
The Young Frenchman and the Pyramids,..........44
PECCADILLOES AND PUNCTILIOUSNESS.-Extract-Sir Humphrey Davy-Tribute
to Religion,............. 446
LETTER XII.
CHOICE OF COMPANIONS AND FRIENDS.-SELECTION OF A PURSUIT
IN LIFE.-COURTSHIP.-MARRIAGE.-HOUSEKEEPING.-PECUNIARY
MIATTERS.
RULE to be observed in the Selection of Associates-Advantage of the Com panionship of Persons of more. Experience than Ourselves-False Senti ments entertained byLord Byron regarding Friendship-Self-Consciousncss
affords the best Contradiction to these Erroneous Opinions-Value of
Friendship-Importance of the Judicious Selection of Confidants-Folly of
demanding Perfection in one's Friends-Selection of Employment-The first
Consideration in this Relation-Thorough Education should not be confined
to Candidates for the Learned Professions-The Merchant Princes of
America-Avenues for Effort-All Ilonest Occupations dignified by Right
Conduct-The Pursuit of Wealth as an End-Freedom the Prerogative of
the Worker-A Professional Manner Condemned-Individual Insignificance
-Advantages of Early Marriage-Cause of prevalent Domestic Unhappiness
-Each Individual the best Judge of his own Conjugal Requisites-IIealth,
Good-Temper, and Education essential in a Wife-Accomplishments not
essential to Domestic HappinessDisadvantages resulting from a previous
Fashionable Career-A True Wife-Respect due to the proper Guardians
of a Lady by her Suitor-Advantages of a Friendship with a Married Lady
-Reserve ansd Respect of Manner due to Female Friends-Manly Frankness
as a Suitor the only Honorable Course-Attachment to one Woman no Ex cuse for Rudeness to others-The Art of Pleasing-Presents, Complimentary
Attentions, etc.-Nicety of Perception usual in WVomen-Power of the Law
of Kindness in Ilome-Life-The Slightest Approach to Family Dissension to
be carefully avoided-The Duty of a Husband to exert a Right Influence
over his Wife-Union of Spirit the only Satisfying Bond-More than Roman
Sternness assumed by some-Sacredness of all the Better Emotions of the
Human Heart-Expressive Synonymes-Pecuniary Matters-The Pernicious
Effects of Boarding-An Old Man's Advice-Household Gods-Propriety of
Providing for Future Contingencies-Slavery imposed by Pride and Poverty Comfort and Refinement computable with Moderate Resources-Books and
WVorks of Art to be preferred to Fine Furniture-Importance of Cherishing
the Esthetical Tastes of Clhillren-" Keeping" a great Desideratum in Social
and Domestic Life,-.......... 44"
xxiii
I 
CONTENTS.
ILLUSTRATIVE SKETCHES, ETC.
TuE MOOTED POINT.-A Morning Visit and Morning Occupations-Macaulay
and the Blanket Coat-Curate's Daughters and the Daughters of New England-A Sybarite-A Disclaimer and a Witticism-Not a Gentleman "Trifles make the sum of Human Things "-The Slough of Despond-A Gift
-Reading Poetry-A Soldier's Tactics-The "Unpardonable Sin "-A Fair
Champion and a Noble Sentiment,...........463
Anecdotes of a British Minister, an Ex-Governor, and an American Statesman, 470
Chief-Justice Marshall and the Young Man of Fashion,....           472
Habits of Early Friends,.......... 473
THg PROPHECY FULFILLED.-A Denouement-Cupid turned Carrier-Wedding.
Card's and Welcome News-A True Woman's Letter,........478
Uncle Hal's Farewell,...........80
xxiv
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OF
Id 
THE
AMERICAN GENTLEMIAN'S GUIDE,
LETTER I.
DRESS.
MY DEAR YOUNG FRIENDS:          As you are already, to some extent,
acquainted with the design and scope of the Letters I propose to address to you, there is no necessity for an elaborate prelude at the commencement
of the series.
We will, with your permission, devote our attention
first to Dress-to the external man-and advance, in
accordance with the true rules of Art, gradually,
towards more important subjects.
Whatever may be the abstract opinions individually entertained respecting the taste and regard for
comfort evinced in the costume now, with trifling
variations, almost universally adopted by men in all
2
46
I 
26      THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
civilized lands, few will dispute the practical utility
of conforming to the general requisitions of Fashion.
Happily for the gratification of fancy, however, the
all-potent goddess, arbitrary and imperative as are her
laws, permits, at least to some extent, such variations
from her general standard as personal convenience,
physical peculiarities, or varying circumstances may
require.
But a due regard for these and similar considerations by no means involves the exhibition of eccestricity, which I hold to be inconsistent with good
taste, whether displayed in dress or manner.
A violation of the established rules of Convention
cannot easily be defended, except when required by
our obligations to the more strenuous requirements
of duty. Usually, however, departures from conventional propriety evince simply an ill-regulated character. The Laws of Convention, like all wise laws,
are instituted to promote " the greatest good of the
greatest number." They constitute a Code of Politeness and Propriety, adapted to the promotion of
social convenience, varying somewhat with local circumstances, it may be, but everywhere substantially
the same.  It is common to talk of the eccenticites
of genius, as though they are essential concomitants
of genius itself.  Nothing can be more unfounded
and pernicious than this impression. The eccentricities that sometimes characterize the intellectually
gifted, are but so many humiliating proofs of the
imperfection of human nature, even when exhibiting
its highest attributes. Hence the affectation of such
f 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION
peculiarities simply subjects one to ridicule, and, in
many instances, to the contempt of sensible people.
Some years since, when Byron was the "bright,
particular star" worshipped by young Sophs, it was
quite a habit among our juvenile collegians to drink
gin, wear their collars a la qnoce e  Byron, cultivate
inisanthropy upon system, and manifest the most
concentrated horror of seeing women eat!   In too
many instances, the sublimity of genius was meagerly illustrated by these aspirants for notoriety.
In place of catching an inspiration, they only caught
cold; their gloomy indifference to the hopes, the
enjoyments, and pursuits of ordinary life, distressed
no one, save, perhaps, their ci-devant nurses, or the
"most tender of mothers;" their " killing" peculiarities of costume were scarcely daguerreotyped even
upon the impressible hearts of the school-girls whose
smiling observance they might chance passingly to
arrest; women of sense and education pertinaciously
adhered to a liking for roast beef, with variations,
and manifested an equally decided partiality for the
society and attention of men who were not indebted
for the activity of their intellects to the agency of
the juniper berry! Falling into such absurdities as
these, a man cannot hope to escape the obnoxious
imputation of being very young7!
But while care is taklen to avoid the display of
undue attention to the adornment of the outer man,
everything approaching to indifference or neglect, in
that regard, should be considered equally reprehensible.  No  one entertains a more profound respect
27
I 
28  THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
for the prodigious learning of Dr. Johnson, from
knowing that he often refused to dine out rather than
change his linen; nor are we more impressed by the
gallant tribute to kindred genius that induced his
attending Mrs. Siddons to her carriage, when she
visited him in the third-floor rooms he continued to
occupy even in his old age, because his trunk-hose
were dangling about his heels, as he descended the
stairs with his fair guest. One does not envy Porson, the greatest of modern Greek scholars, his habitually dirty and shabby dress, because it is forever
associated with his learned celebrity! Neither is
Greeley a better, or more influential editor, that he
is believed to be invisible to mortal eyes except
when encased in a long drab-colored overcoat. He,
however, seems to have adopted an axiom laid down
in a now almost-forgotten novel much admired in my
youth-" Thaddeus of Warsaw," I think-" Acquire
the character of an oddity, and you seat yourself in
an easy-chair for life." The supposition of monomania most charitably explains the indulgence in
habits so disgusting as those well-known to have characterized the distinguished savant, who died
recently at Paris. Had he slept in a clean bed, and
observed the decencies of life, generally, the race
would have been equally benefited by his additions
to scientific lore, and his country the more honored
that he left a name in no degree in bad odor with
the world!
But to return:-No better uninspired model foI
young Americans exists than that afforded, in the 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
most minute details, of the life and character of
Washington; and even upon a point comparatively
so insignificant as that we are at present discussing,
hlie has left us his recorded opinion: "Always," he
writes to his nephew, " have your clothes made of
the best materials, by the most accomplished persons
in their business, whose services you can command,
and in the prevailing fashion."
With such illustrious authority for the advice, then,
I unhesitatingly counsel you to dress in the fashion.
To descend to particulars designed to include all
the minutiae of a gentleman's wardrobe, were as futile
as useless; but a few hints upon this point, may,
nevertheless, not be wholly out of place in epistles
so frank, practical and familiar as these are intended
to be.
The universal partiality of our countrymen for
black, as the color of dress clothes, at least, is fre.
quently remarked upon by foreigners. Among the
best dressed men on the continent, as well as in England, black, though not confined to the clergy, is in
much less general use than here. They adopt the
darker shades of blue, brown and green, and for undress almost as great diversity of colors as of fabrics.
An English gentleman, for instance, is never seen in
the morning (which means abroad all that portion of
the twenty-four hours devoted to business, out-door
amusements and pursuits, &c.;-it is always morning
until the late dinner hour has passed) in the half-worn
coat of fine black cloth, that so inevitably gives a
man a sort of shabby-genteel look; but in some
29
I 
30  THE AMERICAN GENTLEM]AN'S GUIDE
strong-looking,  rough,  knock-about  " fixin,"  frequently of nondescript form and fashion, but admirably adapted both in shape and material for use-for
work. Of this, by the way, every man, worthy of
the name, has a daily portion to perform, in some
shape or other-from the Duke of Devonshire, with a
fortune that would purchase half-a-dozen consort-kinggrowing German principalities, and leave a princely
inheritance for his successors, to the youngest son of
a youngest son, who, though proud of the " gentle
blood" in his veins, earns, as an employe in the service
of the government,-in some one of its ten thousand
forms of patronage and power-the limited salary
that barely suffices, when eked out by the most ingenious economy, to supply the hereditary necessities
of a gentleman. But this is a digression. As I was
saying in the morning, during work-hours, whatever
be a man's employment, and wherever his outside
garb should be suited to ease and convenience, its
only distinctive marks being the most scrupulous
cleanliness, and the invariable accompaniment of
fresh linen.
Coming to the discussion of matters appertaining
to a toilet, elaborate enough for occasions of ceremony, I think of no better general rule than that
laid down by Dr. Johnson (in his character of a
shrewd observer of men and manners, rather than
as himself affording an illustration of the axiom,
perhaps)-" the best dressedpersons are those in wwhose
attire nothing'  articuiar attracts attention."
There is an indescribable air of refinement, a je nd 
TO POLITENESS AND  FASHION-.
ai8s quoi, as the French have it, at an equal remove
from the over-washed look of your thorough Englishman (their close-cropped hair always reminds me
of the incipient stage of preparation for assuming a
strait-jacket!) and the walking tailor's advertisement
that perambulates Fifth Avenue, Chestnut-street, the
Boston Mall, and other fashionable promenades in
our cis-Atlantic cities, in attendance upon the locomotive milliner's show-cases, yclept "belles "-God
save the mark!
The essentials of a gentleman's dress, for occasions
of ceremony are-a stylish well-fitting cloth coat, of
some dark color, and of unexceptionable quality;
nether garments to correspond, or in warm weather,
or under other suitable circumstances, white pants of
a fashionable material and make; the finest and
purest linen, embroidered in white, if at all; a cravat and vest, of some dark or neutral tint, according
to the physiognomical peculiarities of the wearer,
and the prevailinqg mnode; an entirely fresh-looking,
fashionable black hat and carefully-fitted modish boots,
white gloves, and a soft, thin, white handkerchief.
Perhaps, the most arbitrary of earthly divinities permits her subjects more license in regard to the arrangement of the hair and beard, than with respect to any
other matter of the outer man. A real artist, and such
every man should be, who meddles with the "human
face divine" or its adjuncts, will discern at a glance
the capabilities of each head submitted to his manipulation. Defects will thus be lessened, or wholly
concealed, and good points brought out.
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32     THE RAMERICANTGENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
If you wear your beard, wear it in moderationextremes are always vulgar!   Avoid all fantastic
arrangements of the hair-turning it under in a huge
roll, smooth as the cylinder of a steam-engine, and as
little suggestive of good taste and comfort as would
be the coil of a boa constrictor similarly located,
parting it in Miss Nancy style, and twisting it into
love [soap?] locks with a curling-tongs, or allowing
it to straggle in long and often, seemingly, " uncombed and unkempt" masses over the coat-collar.
This last outrage of good-taste is so gross a violation
of what is technically called " keeping," as to excite
in me extreme disgust. Ill, indeed, does it accord
with the trim, compact, easily-portable costume of
our day, and a miserable imitation, it is of the flowing hair that, in days of yore, fell naturally and
gracefully upon the broad lace collar turned down
over the velvet or satin short-cloak of the cavaliers
and appropriately adorning shoulders upon which,
with equal fitness, drooped a long, waving plume,
from the wide-brimmed, steeple-crowned, picturesque hat that completed the costume.
While on this subject of collars, etc., let us stop to
discuss for a moment the nice matter of their size and
shape. Just now, like the " life" of a " poor old man,"
they have " dwindled to the shortest span," under
the pruning shears of the operatives of the mode.
Whether this is the result of a necessity growing
with the lengthening beards that threaten wholly to
ignore their existence, you must determine for yourselves, but I must enter my protest against thf total
I 
TO POLTENESS AND FASnION.
extinction of this relieving line of white, co long, at
least, as the broad wristband, now so appropriately
accompanying the wide coat-sleeve, shall remain in
vo,gue.
The mention of this last tasteful appendage naturally brings to mind the highly ornate style of sleevebuttons now so generally adopted. Eschew, I pray
you, all jflash stones for these or any other personal
ornament. Nothing is more unexceptionable for
sleeve-buttons and the fastenings of the front of a
shirt, than ftne gold, fashioned in some simple form,
sufficiently massive to indicate use and durability, and
skillfully and handsomely wrought, if ornamented
at all.   Few  young  men  can consistently wear
diamonds, and they are, if not positively exceptionable, in no degree requisite to the completion of the
most elaborate toilet. But those who do sport them,
should confine themselves to genuine stones of
unmistakable water, and never let their number
induce in the minds of beholders the recollection
that a travelling Jew-whether from hereditary distrust of the stability of circumstances, or from some
other consideration of personal convenience, usually
carries his entire fortune about his person! Better
the simplest fastenings of mother-of-pearl than such
staring vulgarity of display. And so of a watch
and its appendages. A gentleman carries a watbch
for convenience, and secures it safely upon his person, wearing with it no useless ornament, paraded to
the eye. It is, like his pencil and purse, good of its
2* 
33 
34      THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
kind, and if he can afford it, handsome, but it is
never 9asfy!
The fashion of sporting so,8net-rin7s is not so general, perhaps, as it was a little while since, but it still
retains a place among the minutise of our present
theme. Here, again, the same general rules of good
taste apply as to other ornaments. When worn at
all, everything of this sort should be most unexceptionably and unmistakably tasteful and genuine.
Any deviation from good ton, in this regard, will as
inevitably give a man the air of a loafer as an ill-fitting boot will, or the slightest declension from the
perpendicular in his hat!
In connection with my earnest advice in regard to
all flash ornaments, to whatever purpose applied, I
must not omit to record my protest against staring
patterns in pants, cravats, vests, etc.  Carefully
avoid all the large, many-colored plaids and stripes,
of which (as Psnch has demonstrated) it takes more
than one ordlnary-sized man to show the pattern;
and all glaring colors as well. I have no partiality,
as I believe I have intimated, for the eternal dead
black which, abroad at least, belongs, by usage, primarily to the clergy; but this is a better extreme
than that which has for its original type the signboard getting-up of a horse-jockey.
A fashion has of late years obtained extensively,
which has always, within my remembrance, had its
admirers-that of a wh ite, sut throughout, for very
warm weather. This has the great merit of comfort
't
.1 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION,
and some occupations permits its adoption without
inconvenience. But even the use of thin summer
cravats (which should always be of some unconspicuous color) wonderfully mitigates the sufferings
incident to the dog-days, and these are admissible
for dress occasions, when corresponding with the
general effect of the vest and nether investments.
To recur once more to the important item of body
linen;-never wear a colored shirt-have no such
article in your wardrobe. Figures and stripes do
not conceal impurity, nor should this be a desideratum with any decent man. The now almost obsolete
German author, Kotzebue-whose plays were very
much admired when I was young, and whom your
modern students of German should read in the original-I remember, makes one of his female characters, a sensible,  observing woman, say that she
detected a gentleman in the disguise of a menial by
observing the fineness of Iis linen! If your occupation be such as to require strong, rough-and-tumble garments, wear them, unhesitatingly, when you
are at work, but have them good of their kind, and
keep them clean. While your dress handkerchief
should not look, either for size or quality, as if you
had, for the nonce, perverted the proper use of bedlinen-in the woods, for pioneer travelling, rough
riding, etc., a bandanna is more sensible, as is a cutaway coat, or something of that sort, with ample
pockets, loose, strong, and warm, and a " sofu 
broad-brimmed, durable hat, or cap, as the case may
be-not an old, fine black cloth dress-coat, slir
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36      THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
mounted by a narrow-rimmed "segment of a stovepipe," with a satin cravat, though it be half-worn!
In short, my dear boys, study fitness and propriety
in all things. This is the legitimate result of a well
regulated mind, the characteristic of a true Gentleman —whichl every American should aim to be-not
a thing made up of dress, perfumery, and "boos,"
as Sir Archy McSycophant styled them; but a rightminded, self-respecting man, with Excelsior for his
motto, and our broad, free, glorious land " all before
him, where to choose" the theatre of a useful, honorable life.  AIatters like those I have dwelt on in
this letter, are trifles, comparatively; but trifles, in
the aggregate, make life, and, thus viewed, are not
unworthy the subordinate attention of a man of sense.
They are collateral, I admit, but they go to make up
the perfect whole-to assist in the attainment of the
true standard which every young man should keep
steadily in view. And, insignificant as the effect of
attention to such matters may appear to you, depend
upon it, that habits of propriety and refinement in
regard to such personal details, have more than a
negative influence upon character in general. The
man who preserves inviolable his self-respect, in
regard to all personal habits and surroundings, is,
ceteris })aribus, far less likely to acquire a relish for
low company and profligate indulgences, and to cultivate correspondent mental and moral attributes.
It occurs to me that, going into detail, as I have,
your attention should, in the proper connection,
have been called to a little matter of dress etiquette,
I 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
of which you moderns are strangely neglectful, as it
appears to an old stickler for propriety like nme. To
have offered an ungloved hand to a lady, in the
dance, would, in days when I courted the graces,
have been esteemed a peccadillo, and over-punctilious
as you may think me, it seems very unhandsome to
me.  A dress costume is no more complete without
gloves than without boots, and to touch the pure
glove of a lady with uncovered fingers is-impertinent!
IIere, again, let me condemn all fancy display.
A fresh white, or, what amounts at night to the same
thing, pale yellow glove, is the only admissible thing
for balls, other large evening parties, ceremonious
dinners, and wedding receptions; but for making
ordinary morning visits, or for the street, some dark,
unnoticeable color is in quite as good taste and ton.
Bright-colored gloves bring the hands into too much
conspicuousness for good effect, and, to my mind, give
the whole man a plebeian air. I remember once
being, for a long time, uinable to divine what a finelydressed young fellow, in whom I thought I recognised the son of an old college chum, could be carrying in each hand, as he walked towards me across
the Albany Park; of similar size and color, he
seemed, John Gilpin like, to have
" hung a bottle on each side
To keep the balance sure!"
When I could, in sailor phrase, " make him out,"
behold a pair of great fat hands, incased in tight
37 
38     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMANIS GUIDE
fitting gloves, closely resembling in hue the bright
est orange-colored wrapping-paper!
You will expect me not entirely to overlook the
important topic of over-garntents.
As in all similar matters, it is the best taste not
to deviate so much from the prevailing modes as to
make one's self remarkable. Fortunately, however,
for the infinite diversity presented by the human
form, a sufficient variety in this respect is offered
by fashion to gratify the greatest fastidiousness.
And no point of dress, perhaps, more imperatively
demands discrimination, with regard to its selection.
Thus, a tall, slender figure, with narrow shoulders
and ill-developed arms, is displayed to little advantage in the close-fittinig, long-skirted overcoat that
would give desirable compactness to the rotund
person of our short, portly friend, Alderman D.,
while the defects of the same form would be almost
wholly concealed by one of the graceful and conveient Talmas that so successfully combine beauty
and comfort, and afford, to an artistically-cultivated
eye, the nearest approach to an abstract standard of
taste, presented by masculine attire, since the flowing short cloak of the so-called Spanish costume was
in Yogue.
IJere, again, one is reminded of the propriety of
regarding fitness in the selection of garments especially designed to promote comfort. Nothing can
well be more ungainly than the appearance of a
man in one of the large woollen shawls that have of
late obtained such general favor, at least as they are 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
frequeney worn, slouching loosely from the shoulders, and almost necessarily accompanied by a stoop,
the more readily to retain them in place. They are
well adapted to night travel, to exposed riding and
driving (when properly secured about the chest),
and are useful as wrappers when a man is dressed
for the opera or a ball. But that any sensible person
should encumber himself with such an appendage
in walking-for daily street wear —is matter for surprise. They have by no means the merit for this
purpose of the South American poncho, which is
simply a large square shawl of thick woollen cloth,
with an opening in the centre for passing it over the
head, thus securing it in place, and giving the
wearer the free use of his arms and hands, a desideratum quite overlooked in the usual arrangement, or
rather non-arrangement of these dangling "M'cGregors." But the way, I well remember, that one of
the young T      s of Albany, not very many years
ago, was literally mobbed in the streets of that
ancient asylum of Dutch predilections, upon his
appearance there in a poncho brought with him on
his return from Brazil! So much for the mutations
of fashion and opinion!
To sum uLp all, let me slightly paraphrase the
laconic and invariable advice of the immortal NIelson to the young middies under his command.
"Always obey your superior officer," said the English hero, "and hate a Frenchman as you would
the devil!"  Now then, for my "new reading:" —I
DRESS, always obey tAe dictates of Fashion, regulated
39
I 
40      THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
by good sense, and hate shabby gentilzty as you would
the devil!
Well, you young dogs, here ends the substance of
my first old-fashioned letter of advice to you. I
will confess that upon being convinced, as I was at
the very outset, how much easier it is to think and
talk than to write, I was more than half inclined to
recall my promise to you all. The pen of your
veteran uncle, my boys, has little of "fuss and
feathers," though it may be "rough and ready."
The "Mill-Boy of the Slashes" used often to say,
when we were both young men, and constantly associated in business matters as well as in friendship,
"Let Lunettes do that, he holds the readier pen;"
but times are changed since then, and you must not
expect fine rhetorical flourishes, or the elegances of
modern phraseology in these straight-forward effusions.   I learned  my English when  "Johnson's
Dictionary" was the only standard of our language,
and the "Spectator" regarded as affording an unexceptionable model of style. With this proviso, I
dare say, we shall get on bravely, now that we are
once fairly afloat; and, perhaps, some day we'll get
that brave go-a-head fellow, Derby, or one of the
other "enterprising publishers " in our modernized
Knickerbocker city, to make  them into a "prent
book" for private circulatio-a capital idea! at
least for redeeming my crabbed hieroglyphics from
being " damned with faint praise" by my " numerous readers!"
I believe it was "nominated in the bond," that 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
the subjects treated of in each of my promised letters shall be illustrated by stories, or anecdotes,
drawn from what you were pleased to style " the
ample stores furnished by a life of large observation
and varied experience." It occurs to me, however,
that as this, my first awkward essay to gratify your
united wishes, has already grown to an inconceivable length, it were well to reserve for another
occasion the fulfillment of the latter clause of your
request, as more ample space and a less lagging pen
may then second the efforts of
Your affectionate
UNCLE IHAL.
P. S.-In my next, I will include some prac.
tical directions respecting the details of costume
suitable for various ceremonious occasions-the
opera, dinners, weddings, etc., etc.
"Whew!"  methinks I hear you  all exclaim,
" our old uncle setting himself up as
"'The glass of fashion and the mould of form!'
He may indeed be able to
"'hold the mirror up to Nature;'
but to attempt to reflect the changeful hues of mere
fashion "
Not too fast, my young friends!  Do not suppose
me capable of such folly. But, for the benefit of
such of you as are so far removed from the centre
41 
42      THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
of ton as to require such assistance, I have invoked
the aid of a good-humored friend, thoroughly aufat
in such matters, the " observed of all observers" in
our American Belgravia, a luminary in whose rays
men do gladly sun themselves.
II. L. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
LETTER II.
SKETCHES AND ANECDOTES.
MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
IN accordance with the promise with
which I concluded my last letter, I will give you, in
this, narrated in my homely way, some anecdotes,
illustrative of the opinions I have expressed upon the
subject of DRESS.
Liking, sometimes, to amuse myself by a study
of the masses, in holyday attire and holyday humor,
-to see the bone and sinew of our great country, the people who make our laws, and for whose
good they are administered by their servants, enjoying a jubilee, and wishing also to meet some old
friends who were to be there (among others, Gen.
Wool, who, though politicians accused him of going
to lay pipe for the presidency, is a right good fellow,
and the very soul of old-fashioned hospitality), I went
on one occasion to a little city in western New York,
to attend a State Fair.
On the night of thefete that concluded the affair,
your cousins, Grace and Gert6, to whom you all say
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I 
4   THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
I can refuse nothing, however unreasonable, insisted
that I should be their escort, and protested warmly
against my remonstrances upon the absurdity of an
old fellow like me being kept up until after midnight
to watch, like a griffin guarding his treasures, while
two silly girls danced with some "whiskered Pandoor," or some "fierce huzzar," who would be as
much puzzled to tell where he won his epaulettes as
was our (militia) Gen., of whom, when he was
presented to that sovereign, on the occasion of a
court levee, Louis Philippe asked, "where he had
served!"
It would not become me to repeat half the flatter.
ing things by which their elegant chaperon, Mrs. B.
seconded the coaxing declarations of your cousins,
that they would be "enough more proud to go with
Uncle Hial than with all the half-dozen beaux together," whose services had been formally tendered and
accepted for the occasion.
"Yes, indeed," cried Gerte, "for Uncle Hal is a
real soldier!" And I believe the wheedling rogue
actually pressed her velvety lips to the ugly sabre
scar that helps to mar my time-worn visage.
"Col. Lunettes is too gallant not to lay down his
arms        when ladies are his assailants!" said M[rs. B.
with      on e of her conquering smiles.  "W ell, ladies,"
said I,     " I  cry you mercy
"' Was ever colonel by such sirens wooed,
Was ever colonel by such sirens won!"'
I have no intention to inflict upon you a long de 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
scription of the festivities of the evening.   Suffice
it to say upon that point, that the "beauty and
fashion," as the newspapers phrase it, not only of
the Empire State, but of the Old Dominion, and
others of the fair sisterhood of our Union, were brilliantly represented.
When our little party entered the dancing,-room,
which we did at rather a late hour, for we had been
listening to some good speaking in another apartment
-the ladies declared that they preferred to do so, as
they could dance at any time, but rarely had an opportunity of hearing distinguished men speak in
public,-the " observed of all observers," among
the fairer part of the assembly, and the envy, of
course, of all the male candidates for admiration,
was young "General," one of the aids-de-camp
of the Governor of the State. In attendance upon his
superior officer, who was present with the rest of his
staff, our juvenile Mars was in full military dress,
and made up, as the ladies say, in the most elaborate
and accepted style of love-locks (I have no idea what
their modern name may be), whiskers and moustaches.
fhe glow that mantled the cheeks of the triumphant
Boanerges could not have been deeper dyed had has
" rnodesty," like that of Washington, when overpowered by the first public tribute rendered to him
by Congress, " been equalled only by his bravery!"
"He above the rest in shape and gesture,
Proudly eminent."
bnt apparently, wholly unconscious of the attention
45 
THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN' S GUIDE
of which he was the subject, was smilingly engrossed
by his devotion to the changes of the dance, and to
his fair partner; and the last object that attracted my
eye, as we retired from the field of his glory, were
the well-padded military coat, the curling moustaches
and sparkling eyes of "Adjutant-Gen. —! "
True to my old-fashioned notions of propriety, I
went the next morning to pay my respects to Mrs.
B., and to look after your cousins,-especially that
witch Gert6, whom her father had requested me to
"keep an eye upon," when placing her under my care
for the journey to the Fair.
I found the whole fair bevy assembled in the
drawing-room, and in high spirits.
After the usual inquiries put and answered,
Grace cried out, "Oh! Uncle  Ial, I must tell you!
Gen.      has been here this morning!i He was wearing such a beautiful coat!-his dress last night was
nothing to it!-it fairly took all our hearts by storm!"
At these words, a merry twinkle, as bright and
harmless as sheet lightning, darted round the circle.
The master of the house entered at that moment,
and before the conversation he had interrupted was
fairly renewed, invited me into the adjoining diningroom to " take a mouthful of lunch."
While my host and I sat at a side-table, sipping
a little excellent old Cognac, with just a dash of ice
water in it (a bad practice, a very bad practice, by
the by, my boys, which I would strenuously counsel
you not to fall into; but an inveterate habit acquired
by an old soldier when no one thought of it being
46 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
very wrong) the lively chit-chat in the drawing-room
occasionally reached my ears.
"It was tissue, I am quite sure!" said Miiss
"No matter about the material —the color would
have redeemed anything!" cried Grace.
" Sea-green!" chimed in the flute notes of another
of the gay junto, " what can equal the General's
verdancy?"
" What?" (here I recognized the animated voice
of the lady of the mansion);  "why, only his mauvais ton, in' congratulating' me upon having' so
many' at my reception for Governor and Mrs.the other evening, and his equally flattering assurance that he had not seen so'brilliant a military
turn-out in a long time' —meaning, of course, his
elegant self! You are mistaken, however, Laura,
about his coat being of tissue, it was lawn, and had
just come home from his lawn-dress, when he put it
on. I distinctly saw the mark of the smoothing-iron
on the cuff, as well as that his wristband was soiled
considerably."
" He had only had time to' change' his'coat since
he went'home with the girls in the morning,"'
chimed in some one, " and his hair, I noticed as he
rose to make what he called his'farewell bow of
exit,' was filled with the dust of that dirty ball-room."
"Which couldn't be brushed out without taking
out the curl, too, I suppose!" This last sally eminated, I believe, from one of the most amiable, usually, of the group.
" Well," said the hostess, with a half-sigh of relieft;
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48      THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
"'he seldom inflicts himself upon me! His grand
entree this morning, in the character of a katy-did,
gotten up a la mode naturetle," (here there was a
general clapping of hands, accompanied by bravos
that would have rejoiced the heart of a prima
donna), " was, no doubt, occasioned by his having
heard some one say that, what vulgar people style a
'lparty cagll,' was incumbent upon him after my reception.   What  a pity his informant had not also
enlightened him on another point of ettiqwetty, as old
lir. Smith calls it, and so spared me the mortification, my dears, of presenting to you, as a specimen
of the beaux of, and one of the aids-de-camp of
Governor, a man making a visit of ceremony in
a brig,t, pea-green, thin muslin shooting-jacket!"
Bulwer, the novelist, when I was last in London,
some two or three years ago-and for aught I know
lie still continues the practice —used to appear in
his seat in the English Hiouse of Commons one day
in light-colored hair, eye-brows and whiskers, with
an entire suit to correspond; and the next, perhaps, in black hair, etc., accompanied by a black coat,
neckcloth, and so on throughout the catalogue. A
proof of the admitted eccentricities of genius, I suppose.
D,  who is now a very respectable veteran
lawyer, and well known in the courts of the Empire 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
State, was originally a Green Mountain Boy-tall, a
trifle ungainly, with a laugh that might have shaken
his native hills, rather unmanageable hair, each indi vidual member of the fraternity, instead of regarding the true democratic principle, often choosing to
keep "Independence" on its own account, and a
wvalk that required the whole breadth of an ordinary
side-walk to bring out all its claims to admiration.
Though D         did not sacrifice to the graces, be
really wrote very clever "Lines;" but his shrewd
native sense taught him that a reputation as a magazine poet would not have a direct tendency to
increase the number of his clients.   So the sometime devotee of the AMuse of Poetry, bravely eschewing the open use of a talent that, together with his
ever-ready good-humor and quiet Yankee drollery,
had brought him somewhat into favor in society,
despite his natural disadvantages, entered into partnership with an old practitioner in A, and bent
himself to his career with sturdy energy of purpose.
" New Year" coming round again in the good old
Dutch city where D     had pitched his tent, some
of his friends offered to take him with them in their
round of calls, and introduce him to such of their fair
friends as it was desirable to know; hinting, at the
same time, that this would afford a suitable occasion
for donning a suit of new and fashionable garments.
On the first of January, therefore, agreeable to
appointment, his broad, pock-marked face-luminous as a colored lantern outside an oyster-saloonand his gait more than usually diffusive, D      was
3
49 
50     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
seen coming along from his lodgings, to meet his
companions for the day's expedition, and evidently
with sails full set. It soon became apparent to all
beholders, not only that the grub had been transformed into a full-fledged butterfly of fashion, butthat he wore his long, wide, ample-caped, new cloak
wrong side out!
At the recent Peace Convention in Paris, even
those strenuous adherents to things a8 they were, the
Turks, wore the usual dress of Europeans and Americans throughout, with the single exception of the
fez, which, I believe, no adherent of Mahomet will
renounce, except with his religion. Young Charles
P      told me that Count Orloff's sable-lined talma
was of the most unexceptionable Parisian cut.
An agreeable young friend of mine, the Rev. Mr.
H., contrives to support a family (Heaven only
knows how!) upon the few hundred dollars a year
that make the usual salary of a country clergyman.
Hle indulges himself, at rare intervals, in a visit to his
fashionable city relatives, by way of necessary relaxation, and to brush up a little in matters of taste, literature, etc. Perhaps, too, he thinks it well, occasionally, to return, with his wife and children, the long
visits made every summer by a pretty fair representation of his numerous family circle at the pleasant 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
little rectory, where refinement, industry, and the
ingenuity of a practical housekeeper, create a charm
often lacking in more pretentious establishments.
On one of these important occasions, it was decided
that the handsome young rector should avail himself of his city jaunt to purchase a new suit of clothes,
his best clerical coat, notwithstanding the most carefuil use and the neatest repairing, being no longer
presentable for ceremonious purposes.   (I make no
doubt that the compatibility of the contemplated
journey and the new clothes, both in the same year,
was anxiously discussed in family council.)
As soon as possible after his arrival in town, my
clerical friend broached the all-important subject of
the tailor, to one of his brothers, a youth of unquestionable authority in such matters, and invoked his
assistance.
"With all my heart, Will, we'll drop in at my
own place, as we go down this morning; they get
everything up there artistically."  "And at artistic
prices, I fear," soliloquized the new candidate for
the honors of the cloth, with a slight quaking at
heart, as a long-cherished plan for adding, without
her previous knowledge, a shawl to the waning
bridal outfit of his self-sacrificing wife, rose before
his mental vision.
"But, I say, Will," inquired his modish brother, of
our young clergyman, in a tone of good-humored banter, as they sauntered down Broadway together, after
breakfast, " where did you buy your new chapea?.'4
" At A,  before leaving home 
51
0 
52      THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
"' Excuse me, my dear fellow, but it's a nondescript! It will never do with your new suit, allow
me to say, frankly."
"But the person of whom I bought it had just
returned from New York, and he assured me it was
the latest fashion! I gave him eight dollars for it,
at any rate."
"Preposterous!" ejaculated the man of fashion,
in a tone portentous as that which ushered in the
" prodigious " of Dominie Sampson, when astounded
by his discoveries in the mysteries of the toilet.
"It first saw the light in the' rural districts,' depend
on't!"
The quizzical glances with which his companion
ever and anon scrutinized the crowning glory of his
neat morning attire, as he had previously thought it,
gradually overpowered the philosophy of my friend,
-clergyman though he was-the admitted Adonis
of his class in college, and the favorite of ladies, old
and young. The church's
," favorites are but men.
And who e'er felt the stoic when
First conscious of"
wearing a "shocking bad hat!"  The result was,
that the condemned article was exchanged at a fashionable establishment for one fully meeting the
approbation of the modish critic.
"What! another new hat?" cried the young wife,
whose quick woman's eye at once caught the je nd
0 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
sats quo-the  air of the thing, as her husband
rejoined her later in the day.
The gentleman explained;-" And you thought
the other so becoming too, Belle," he added, in a
half-deprecatory  tone;  "but  Chauncey  was  so
strenuous about it, and I knew he would appeal to
you, and that you would not be satisfied without "
" But they allowed you really nothing for the other,
though it was quite new, and certainly a nice hat.
What a pity, now, that you did not travel in your old
one, though it was a little worse for wear, or even in
the cap you bought to fish in. There was Mr. -     in
the same car with us, looking anything but elegant,
I am sure, with the queerest-looking old "Kossuth,"
I believe they are called, on, and the roughest overcoat!'!"
"But, you know, Belle, dear, such a dress is not
considered admissible for the clergy."
" No! well, whatever is sensible and convenient
should be, I am convinced now, if I was not before."
Our young clergyman, as he turned the still-cherished plan of the new shawl anxiously in his mind,
a "sadder and a wiser" man than before, determined never again to buy a new dress hat expressly
to perform a journey in, especially when going
directly from the " rural districts " to a large city;
besides laying up for future use some other collateral resolutions and reflections of an equally wise
and practical character.
" Why, Belle," said the " superb" Chauncey to
his fair sister-in-law, drawing her little son nearer to
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54     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
him, as he leaned on his mother's lap after dinner,
" this is really a magnificent boy,'pon-my-word!you should take him to' Bradbrook's' and fit him
up! Would you like a velvet jacket, eh, my fine
fellow?"
The curly-headed child pointed his dimpled forefinger towards the pretty garment he was wearing,
and said, timidly, " Pretty new coata, mamma made
for him."
"I believe," responded the young mother, quietly,
bending her beaming eyes upon the little face lovingly upturned to hers, " that Willie will have to do
without a velvet jacket for the present; mamma intended to get one for him in New York, but"      the
sentence was finished mentally with " papa's second
new hat has taken the money." This will reveal the
secretly-cherished plan of the young rector's wife,
with which a faint sketch of a pretty cap to crown
the shining curls of her darling, had dimly mingled,
almost unconsciously to herself, until brought out by
the power of that "tide in the affairs of men"
necessity!
Sitting in tb h same seat in a railroad car with exChief-Justice, than whom  there is no more
eminent juris nor finished gentleman in the land,
discoursing earnestly of old times and new, our conversation was suddenly interrupted, as we stopped to
feed our iron steed, by the loud salutation of a youth 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
who seemed to take more pains than the law requires under such circumstances, to enunciate the
name of my companion. "Pleasant morning, Judge!
-if I don't intrude" (a glance at me, and no introduction by the chief-justice), " is this seat unoccupied?"  And down he sat vis-a-vis to us.
He had the talk pretty much to himself, for a
while. By-and-by, our uninvited guest apologized
for his gloves, half-worn fine black kid.   They were
" really too bad; must have taken them up by mistake, in the hurry of getting off," etc.
" I always keep an old pair expressly for these
abominably dirty cars, but, I believe, I have forgotten to put them on this morning," said the venerable lawyer, in a peculiarly quiet tone, unfolding, as
he spoke, the ample, old-fashioned, travel-worn
camlet cloak, beneath which his arms had hitherto
been crossed, and thus revealing his neat, simple
dress, and the warm, clean lining of his outer garment.   Taking  a well-worn pair of soft beaver
gloves from an inside pocket, the judge, with an air
of peculiar deliberation, drew them upon hands,
"small to a fault," as the novels say, and as white
as those myths are supposed to be, and re-adjusted
his arms and cloak with the same deliberation. A
nice observer might note a slight gleam of the wellknown smile, whose expressive sarcasm had so often
withstood professional insolence and ignorance, as
the chief justice turned his head, and cursorily surveyed his fellow-passengers.
" Who is that young man, sir?" I inquired, when
55 
56      TTHE AMERICAN GENTLEMANI' GUIDE
we were, sooii after, upon again stopping, relieved
of the presence of this jackanapes.
"His name  is," replied the judge.  "A
scion of the law, I think now-a son of the,
who made a fortune, you mrlay remember, by the
sudden rise of West India molasses, some few years
ago (a pause). I never rate a man by his antecedents, Colonel, but a little modesty is always suitable and becoming, in very young persons," added
the chief-justice, somewhat sententiously.
You will, perhaps, remember the commotion
created by the promulgation of Marcy's edict
respecting the dress to be worn on state occasions,
by our representatives abroad.
Our accomplished young countryman, Mlr. IH. S —,
though nominally Secretary of Legation, was virtually our minister, at St. Cloud, when this order was
published. In simple compliance with his instructions, the American secretary appeared at a court
dinner in the suit of plain black, prescribed by his
government. The premonitions of a revolution could
scarcely have created more consternation among the
officials of the Tuileries, and even the diplomatic dignitaries assembled, experienced a sensation.   The
Turkish ambassador was surprised out of the usually
imperturbable stoicism of a devout follower of the
mi,ghty prophet of Mfoslemdom.
"What areyou doing here," he growled, as tho
young republican  arrested  his  attention,  in Jan 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
guage more remarkable for Oriental figurativeness
than for Parisian elegance, "a raven among so many
birds of gay plumage a"
The newspaper writers of the day, commenting
upon this, said that the minister fi'om Venezuela —
the most insignificant government represented, was
most bedizened with gold lace, stars, and trumpery
of every sort.  These letters, prepared for home perusal, were republished in the Paris papers, and of
course, met the eyes of all the parties alluded to!
S — told one of my friends that among the annoyances to which the whole affair subjected him, was
that of being subsequently constantly thrown in contact with the various personages with whose names
his own had been, without his previous knowledge,
unceremoniously, associated.
No doubt, however, his skillful diplomacy carried
him as triumphantly through this difficulty as through
others of vital importance.
Dining with this polished young diplomate, at the
Tremont in Boston, where we met soon after his return home, the conversation turned upon the personal
appearance of Louis Napoleon, and from his wiredrawn moustaches diverged to the subject of beards
in general.
"The truth is, Col. Lunettes," said Mr. S, in
French,-which by the way, he both speaks and
writes, as he does his native tongue, with great purity
and propriety, and this to our shame be it said, is
far enough from being generally the case with Gur
various officials abroad, "the truth is, Col. Lunett4:,
3*
57 
58      THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
(I detected a just perceptible glance at my furrowed
.leek, which was, however, smiooth-shlaven as his
)wn) that a clea~%face is getting to be the distinctive
nark of a gentleman!"
"My dealr Miss —," said I to a charming woman,
whose cordial smile of recognition drew me within the
magic circle of her influence, at a ball, where I had
been for some little time a' quiet looker-on,' "will
you pardon the temerity of an old friend in inquiring what induced your chilling reception of the handsome stranger whom I saw presented to you with
such enpressement by our host a little while ago?
If you could have seen the admiration with which
he long regarded you at a distance,'his eye in a fine
frenzy rolling,'-as he leaned against the-the corner of the big fiddle, there, while the music was at
supper!-could you have seen this, as others saw it,
and then the look of deep desperation with which
he swallowed a bottle of champagne at a standing,
when he fled from your fr-owns to the supper-room!
— Really, Miss, I have seldom had my sympathies so excited for a stranger "
By this time her ringing laugh stirred the blood
into quicker pulsations thronugh my time-steeled
heart; "Oh, Colonel, Colonel!" cried she, in tones,
mirth-engendering as the silvery call of Dian, goddess
of the dewy mnorn, (is that poetry, I wonder?) "I see
you are just as delightfully quizzical as during our
Alpine journey together. I have never quite for
-.1 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
glven the Fates for robbing our party of so inimitable a compagnon de voyage, and me of"-  "so
devout an admirer!"I chimed in: "and me of so
devout an admirer," proceeded the lady, with a quick
spirit-flash in her deep violet eyes, " and when we
were just beeomingso well acquainted, too!  It was
too provoking! Do you remember the amusement we
had from recalling the various characteristic exclamations of the different members of our party. when
the Italian plains burst upon our view, out-spread
before us in the morning sunlight, after that horrid
night in the shepherd's hut?"
"If I recollect, it was your avowed slave,  gentleman John' as you called him, who shouted,'0, ye
Gods and little fishes!-nothing bad about that, by
thunder?' That fellow carried the ladies, as he did
everything else, by storm "  " No,no, Colonel, not all the ladies; but I was going
to tell youL about this' mysterious stranger,' or' romantic stranger' -what sobriquet did you give him?
Suppose we go nearer the door, it is so warm here,"
and she twined an arm that threw Powers into a rapture, confidingly around the support proffered her
by an old soldier, and we gradually escaped from the
crowd (any one of the men would willingly have stillettoed me, I dare say!) into a cool corner of the hall.
" I am sorry you thought me rude, colonel," she
began, a tint, soft as the shadow of a crimson rose
flitting over her expressive face.
I entered a protest.
RTemind me to tell you about that some other time.
59 
o    - THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
" I dare say my manner was peculiar," resumed
my fair companion, "but I fear' no rule of courtly
grace to measured mood' will ever'"train' myiface;
and-the truth is, Colonel, that, though I love and
honor my ovwn countrymen beyond the men of all
other lands, I (70 wish they would imifate well-bred
foreigners in some respects. I hate coxcombs! I believe every woman does at heart.  Now, here is this
person, Colonel C, I think, if I heard the name an
" Wherefore Colonel, and of what?" thought I, but
I only answered-" Really, I am not able to say."
"; Well, at any rate, I identified the man, beyond
a peradventure, as the same individual who sufficed
for my entertainment during a little journey from
home to G, the other day.  As papa, in his
stately way, you know, committed me to the care
of the conductor, saying that'Iiss -'s friends
would receive her at G,' I observed (luckily, my
fastidious father did not) the broad stare with which
a great bearded creature, at a little distance from us,
turned round in his seat and surveyed us. When I
withdrew from the window, firom which I had looked
to receive-to say good-bye, again, to papa " —
I would have given —I think I would have given
-my Lundy-Lane sword, to have occasioned the
momentary quiver in that musical voice, and the
love-lighlt in that half-averted eye! After a scarce
perceptible pause, the lovely narrator proceeded:
"There was that huge mooln-stLiuckl face-LI I  suns(tt ct, perhaps?" I queried, receiving a slight fanpas for my pains]-stch a contrast to papa's! star 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
ing straight at me, still. I busied myself with a book,
behind my veil, and presently knew, without looking, that the gentleman had gradually returned to
his former position. Niow came my turn to scrutinize,
though the'game was scarcely worth the powder."'
"Spoken like the true daughter of a gentlemansportsman!" I exclaimed, and this time was rewarded
with an irradiating smile.
"Well, such a rolling about of that alderman-like
figure, such a buttoning andunbuttoning!  But this
was all nothing to his steam-engine industry in the
use of the' weed.' I turned sick as I observed part
of the shawl of a lady sitting before the creature
hanging over near him. After a while, he sallied
forth, at one of the stopping-places, and soon returned
with-(expressive hue!)-an i   mmense green apfle!
It seemed fo- a time likely to prove the apple of discord, judging from the hungry glances cast at it by
a long, lank, thinly-clad old man across the car.
But now came the' tug of war.' It scarce required
my woman's wit to divine the motive that had
prompted the tasteful selection of the alderman's
lunch. A glove was pompously drawn off, andbehold! a great pdt6 of a ring on the smallest, I cannot truthfully say little-finger, set with a huge red
cornelianr, that looked for all the world like a cranberry-jam in a setting of puff-paste!  As the byg
apple slowlv diminished under the greedy eyes of
the venerable spectator of this rich Tantalus-feast,
my heart melted with pity."
A well-affected look of surprise on the part of her
61 
62      TTHE AMERICAN  GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
auditor, here claimed the attention of the fair
speaker.
"Don't alarm yourself, Colonel!'Pity'tis,'tis
true,' my compassion was excited only towards the
poor finger that, stout as it looked, must soon be
worn to the bone, if often compelled to do duty at
the speed with which it was worked that day. Imagine the poor thing stuck straight out with that heavy
stone ptre upon it, while the proprietor plied his
hand from his mouth to the car-window behind  him,
with the industrious regularity of a steam ferry-boat,
professedly laden with little bits of apple-skin, but
really intended-oh, most flattering tribute to my
discriminating  powers!-to captiv(ate my fancy,
tibrough my eye!"
When my amusement had somewhat subsided,
I said to my fair friend:
"I suppose the doughty alderman finished his
repast, like Jack the Giant-killer, by eating up the
famishing old man who had the insolence to watch
him while breakfasting."
" I am happy to be able to say," replied she, " that
the long, lean, lanky representative of our fallen
race, not only escaped being thoroughly masticated
and thrown by little handfuls out of the car-window,
but when Jack the Giant-killer, and almnost every
one else had gone out of the car, was presented by
a lady with two nice large sandwiches that she hap*
,ened not to need."'
"' And that benevolent lady was"
A movement among the dancers here crowded 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
several acquaintances into such close contact with us
that we could not avoid overhearing their conversation.
"Do you know that large manl, wearing so much
beard, Mlr. Jerome?"
"Know  him? certainly I do,  bliss Blakeman.
That's C  -, Col. C, the rich New York grocer.
Hle is one of the city aldermen —they talk of him for
the legislature-quite a character, I assure you."
" He evidently thinks so himself," rejoined one of
the group; "just notice him in that polka! I heard
him telling a lady, a moment ago, that he had not
missed a single set, and wouldn't for anything."
"They say," pursued a lady, "that he is paying
his addresses to that pretty little Miss S, who
was so much admired here, last winter; she is an
orphan, I think, and quite an heiress."
A perceptible shiver ran through the clinging arm
that still graced my own, and as I moved away with
my sweet charge, she murmured, in the musical
tongue of the Beautiful Land, as she ever calls Italy,
"the gentle dove for the vulture's mate!"
Will that do for this time, boys? Or do you
require that, in imitation of the little Grecian Hunchback, a mnoral shall be appended to each of his narratives, by your
UNCLE IIAL.
P. S.-In accordance with my promise, there
,ollow the admirable directions and remarks of the
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I 
64      THE AMIERICAN GENTLEMANIS GUIDE
elegant and obliging friend referred to in my previous letter. Hie will, I trust, permit me thus to
tender him, renewedly, my very grateful acknowledgment of his flattering politeness, and to express
my sense of the important addition made by his
kindness to my unpretending epistles
' MY DEAR COL. LUiNETTES:
"I regard myself as highly complimented that so distinguished a representative of the
ancien regime, as yourself, one so entirely comme il
faut, as all admit, in matters of taste, should esteem
my opinion, even in regard to minor points of etiquette, as worth his attention.
"I need scarcely add, dear sir, an assurance of my
conviction of the honor you do me by affording me
a place in your remembrance, and that I make no
doubt your profound knowledge of the world, united
with your unusual opportunities for extensive observation-long un habitue de belle societe, in various
countries, as you have been-will afford a rich treat,
as well as much instruction, to those who may be
favored with the perusal of your proposed Letters.
That he may have the honor to be thus fortunate, ls
the hope of, dear sir,
"Your very respectful
" And obedient servant,
"BELGRAVIA, Tuesday A~orn.,
"IJay 6th,'56."
i c 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
GENTLEMAN'S  DRESS.-The subject  now  to  be
treated of, may be divided into several classes:
morning, promenade or visiting, and evening or
ball dress; which again may be subdivided into
others, such as riding-dress, dress suitable for
bachelors' dinner-arties, or opera (when unaccompanied by ladies). Besides these again, we have
dresses suitable for jishin, shooting, and yachting
purposes, which, however, scarcely call for, or admit
of, the display of much taste, inasmuch as the occupations for which such costumes are designed partake rather of the nature of healthy exercise than
of that quiet and gentlemanly repose necessary to
give full effect to the graces of the more elaborate
" tcilette."  ~filitary, Naval, and Court dresses may
also be considered out of the scope of the remarks
in this letter, because their being made scrupulously
in accordance with rigid Regulation?ul7es, leaves no
room for taste, but substitutes the dicta of official
routine.
To commence our exemplifications with a WeddingSuit, which, fiom the wearer's approximate connection with the ladies deserves the'paas "-it may be
remarked that the time of day in which the ceremony is solemnized should determine the character
of the costume, that is to say, whether it should be
morning or evening.  In either case, however, general usage allows  (not to say demands),  a more
65 
66     WTE AMERICAN GENTLEMAIS GUIDE
markled style than is generally worn in morning (or
evening usual wear.  Should the wedding take place
in the eveniny, a very elegant costume is, a dark
claret dress-coat, white ribbed-silk, or gmoire antique,
waistcoat, white silk neckeloth, black trowsers, silk
stockings, and shoes. The lining of the sleeves, also,
of white silk, coming to the extreme edge of the cuff,
imparts a singlarly light and elegant appearance to
the hand and glove.  An equally elegant.orning
Wredding-Dress might consist of a rich, deep-brown
frock-coat; waistcoat of black cashmere, with a small
violet-colored palm-leaf figure; neck-tie of silk,
combining colors of black and cherry, or brown and
deep blue; trowsers of delicate drab, or stone-color;
gloves primrose, or slate-colored kid.
The usual Eveniny —)ress is so imperiously insisted
on, that it might be almost classed in the category
of uniforms, being almost invariably composed of
black coat, vest, and trowsers. Two items, however,
in this costume, admit of disquisition amongst "men
who dress," viz., the vest and the tie-both of which
may be either white or black, without any infraction
of the laws of bienseance.  This, therefore, must be
settled by the taste of the wearer, who should
remember that black, having the effect of apparently diminishing a man's size, and white that of
increasing it, it would, therefore, be judicious for a
person of unusual size to tone down his extra bulk
by favoring black in both these garments, while he
who is below the average standard could, if not 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
actually increase his height or size, at least create
the impression of more generous proportions.  I,
however, must confess a decided partiality for a
white neck-tie, at least; because, although subject to
the disadvantage of being de r~iueur amongst
waiters and other members of the Yellow Plush
Family, it is, nevertheless, always considered unexceptionable, at any season, or hour, in any rank,
profession, or capacity.
A Xorning Call should be made in afrock-coat, or
at least one in which this style predominates. But
as this style of costume admits of a wider range of
colors and tissues than any other, it would be impossible to particularize one more than another. All,
however, should be regulated by the laws of /armnony of color, and adaptation of color to complexion.
Bachelors' -Dinner-parties are pleasant, social reunions, at which gentlemen enjoy themselves with
more abandon than would, perhaps, be considered
consistent with the quiet and more retired respect due
to the presence of the " beau sexe;" and, as a natural
consequence, admit of a more neglige style of costume.
Still, however, a certain regard must be had to the
requirements of good society; and as many of these
parties, when they break up, adjourn to the opera,
or theatre, where they are pretty sure to meet ladies
of their acquaintance, a costume half-way between
morning and evening is, by tacit agreement, prescribed; for instance:-a coat of some dark colo
67
.1 
68  THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
(generally termed "medley-colored"), cut rounded
over the hips; black cap; inner vest, buttoning
rather high in the breast; darkl-grey trowsers, and
black silk neckerchief, or ribbed silk scarf.
Instead of giving sketches of particular costumes,
it would, perhaps, be better and tend more to
develop the importance of dress, if a few remarks
were made on the general rules which should guide
one in selections for his own wear.
The four staple colors for men's wear, are black,
blue, brown, and olive. Other colors, such as drab,
grey, mixed, etc., being so far as the principal garments go, what are termed " fancy colors," should
be very cautiously used.
As was remarked above, blacek has the efect of
dimninishing size, but it has another more important
effect, which is to test, in the severest way, the wvearer's claims to a distinguished appearance. It is a very
high compliment to any man to tell him that black
becomes him, and it is probably owing to this property that black is chosen, par excellence, for evening
or ball dress. Men, therefore, of average or ordinary
pretensions to stylish contour, should bear this in
mind, and, when such color is not indispensable,
should be careful how far they depend on their own
intrinsic dignity.
Blue, of almost any shade, becomes a light complexion, besides being an admirable set-off to black
velvet, which can, in almost all cases, be judiciously used in the collar, in which case, a lighte, 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
shade of blue (also becoming such a complexion)
can be worn without killing (as it is technically
termed), the darker shade of the coat-the velvet
harmonizing both.
Brown being what is termed a warm color, is
eminently adapted for fall and  winter wear-olive
and dark green, for summer.
When Beau Brummel was asked what constituted
a well-dressed man, he replied, " Good linen-vlenty
of it, and country washing." This, perhaps, is rather
too primitive. The almost equally short opinion of the
French critic is decidedly more comprehensive —
C "un hor?,n  biem coiffe, et biem clau8sse, peut se presenter partout."  Under any circumstances, however,
it may be laid down as immutable, that the extremities are most important parts, when considered as
objects for dress, and that a well avpponted hat,
faultlessly jftting  gloves, and immaculate boots, are
three essentials to a well-dressed man, without
which the otherwise best constituted dress will
appear unfinished.
Besides the necessity for the greatest care required
in the selection of colors, with regard to their harmonizing with each other, and their general adaptation to the complexion or contour of the wearer,
there is another matter of the first importance,
and this is, the cut. Of course, everything should
be sacrificed to perfect ease, as any garment
which pinches, or incommodes the wearer, will
strongly militate against the easy deportment of even
69 
70      THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S S GUIDE
the most graceful, and tend to give a contracted and
constrained appearance.  Every garment, therefore,
should leave the wearer _perfectly free and  uncontrolled in every motion; and, having set out with
this proviso, the artiste may proceed to invest his
work with all the minute and seemingly immaterial
graces and touches, which, although scarcely to be
remarked, still impart an air or character, which is
unmistakable, and is expressed in the French word
chique.
Wadding, or stuffng, should be avoided as much
as possible. A little may be judiciously used to
round off the more salient points of an angular
figure, but when it is used for the purpose of creating an egregiou3ly false impression of superior form,
it is simply snobbish. Some one has called hypocrisy "the homage which  vice  pays  to virtue."
WFadding is the homage which snobbi8shness pays to
symmetry!
A well-dressed man will never be the first to
set a new fashion; he will allow others to hazard
the innovation, and decline the questionable honor
of being the first to advertise a novelty. Two lines
of Pope (I believe), admirably illustrate the middle
course:
"Be  not  the first by whom the new ts tried,
Nor yet the last by whom'tis set aside."'
Besides which he will find it far easier to become
a critic than an author; and as there is sure to be 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
a vast number of men who " greatly daring" dress,
he will merely be at the trouble of discriminating
which is worthy of selection or rejection; he will
thus verify the old saw, that " fools make feasts and
wise men eat thereof," and avoid, by means of his
own knowledge of the becoming, the solecisms which
are pretty certain to occur in a number of experi
ments.
TRINCULO.
71
I 
72  THE AMERICAN GENTLFMAN'S GUIDE
LETTER III.
MANNER.
MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
IN the order of sequence adopted at the
commencement of our correspondence, the subject
of manner comes next in succession.
It was the shrewd aphorism of one of the most
profound observers of human nature that" 2[anner
is something to all, and everytlhing to somne."
As indicative of character, which it undoubtedly
is, to a certain extent, it is well worthy the attention
of all youthful aspirants for the honers of the world.
And though, hke every other attribute, it should bear
indubitable marks of individuality, care and attention, before habit has rendered change and improveminent difficult, will enable every man to acquire that
propriety and polish, in this respect, the advantages
of which through life can scarcely be overrated.
It has been somewhat paradoxically said, that the
fashionable manner of the present day is no manner
at all! which means simply-that the manners of
the best bred people are those that are least obtruded 
TO POLITENESS AND FAStHION.
upon the notice of others,-those most quiet, natt
'al, and  massuming.
There is, however, a possibility of carrying this
modish manner to such an extreme as to make it the
very height of affectation. If Talleyrand's favorite
axiom admits of some qualification, and language is
not always used to " conceal our ideas," then should
manner, which is the natural adjunct that lends
additional expressiveness to words, be in a degree
modified by circumstances-be individualized.
Every approach to a rude, noisy, boisterous, manner, is reprehensible, for the obvious reason that it
interferes with the comfort, and, consequently, with
the rights of others; but this is at a wide remove
from the ultra-modishness that requires the total sup)ression of every manifestation of natural emotion,
and apparently, aims to convert beings influenced
by the motives, feelings, and principles that constitute humanity, into mere moving automata!
In this, as in too many similar matters, Americans
are prone to excess.  Because scenes are considered
bad ton, in good society abroad, and.because the
warm-hearted hospitality of olden time sometimes
took shape a little more irmpressingly and noisily
than kindness required, some of our fashionable
imitators of European models move through the
world like resuscitated ghosts, and violate every law
of good feeling in an endeavor to sustain at home
a character for modish nonchalance!  Now, take it
as a rule through life, my young friends, that all ser
vile imitation degenerates into  caricature, and let
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your adoption and illustration of every part of your
system of life be modified by circumstances, and
regulated by good sense and manly independence.
I need scarcely tell you that true politeness is not
so much a thing of forms and ceremonies, as of right
feelings and nicety of perception. The Golden Rule
habitually illustrated in word and action, would produce the most unexceptionable good breeding-politeness so cosmopolitan that it would be a passport
to "good society" everywhere.
One of the most polished and celebrated of American authors has given us as fine and laconic a definition of politeness as I remember to have met with" Self-respect, and a delicate regard for the rights and
feelings of others."
The good breeding of a true gentleman is not an
appendage put off and on at the dictate of caprice,
or interest, it is essentially a part of h/rmself-a constituent of his being, as much as his sense of honesty or
honlor, and its requirements are no more forgotten or
violated than those of any other essential attribute of
manhood. You will all remember Sir Philip Sidney's immortal action in presenting the cup of water
to the dying soldier. This was a spontaneous result
of the habitual self-possession and self-restraint that
form the basis of all true good breeding. It is one of
the most perfect exhibitions on record of the moral
sublimne; but it was, also, only a legitimate result of
the instinctive politeness of a Chrstian gen7tleman!
Manner, then, may be regarded as the expression
of inherent qualities, and though it must, necessarily, 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHIOV.
and should properly, to some extent, at least, vary
with the variations of character, it may readily be
rendered a more correct and effective exponent of
existing characteristics of mind and heart, by judicious and attentive training.
While true good breeding must, from its very nature be, as I have said, in all persons and under every
modification of circumstance substantially the same,
the proper mode of exemplifying it, must, with
equal propriety, be modified by the exercise of
practical good sense and discrimination. Thus, the
laws of convention,-which,  as I have before re
marked, is but another name for the rules of polite
ness, established and adhered to by well-bred people,
for mutual convenience-though in some respects as
immutable as those of the Medes and Persians, will
always be adapted, by persons of good sense, to the
mutations of circumstance and the inviolable requisitions of that "higher law," whose vital principle is
"ki'ndness kindly ex_ressed!" tIaving  now established general principles, let us turn to the consideration of practical details.
There is, perhaps, no better test of good manners
afforded by the intercourse of ordinary life, than
that of conduct towards superiors in age or station,
("Young America" seems loth to admit that le has
any superiors, but we will venture to assume these
premises). The general-in-chief of the Revolutionary
Army of America is well known t6 have always observed the most punctilious respect towards his
mother, in his personal intercourse with her, as well
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as in every other relation of life. My word for it,
he never spoke of her as the "old woman;" nor
could one of the youthful members of his military
family have alluded, in his hearing, to a parent as
the "governor," or the "old governor," without exciting the disapproving surprise of Washington and
his co-patriots. And yet our young republic has
known no more high-bred and polished men than
those of that day,-the stately and elegant Hancock,
even when broken by time and disease, a graceful
and punctilious observer of all the ceremonious
courtesies of life; the courtly Carroll, whose benignant urbanity was the very impersonation of a long
line of old English gentlemen; and the imposing stateliness of the commander-in-chief, ever observant of
the most minute details of propriety, whether in the
familiar intercourse of dailv life, or while conducting
the most momentous affairs of his country. But to
return from this unpremeditated digression. Never
let youthful levity, or the example of others, betray
you into forgetfulness of the claims of your parents
or elders, to a certain deference. Depend upon it,
the preservation of a just self-respect demands this.
Your historical studies will have furnished you
with evidence of the respect habitually rendered to
superiors by those nations of antiquity most celebrated for advancement in civilization; and you will
not have failed, also, to remark that nothing more
surely heralded the decay of ancient empires than
degeneracy in this regard.
Next to the reverence ever due to parents, may
I 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
be ranked that which should be rendered to virtuous
age, irrespective of station or other outward attri butes. I should deem this instinctive with all right minded young persons, did I not so often, in the
street, at church, in social life, in public places
generally, observe the manner in which elderly
persons are, apparently, wholly overlooked.
Ithere, the universally-applicable law of kg,ndness
claims regard. Those of the pilgrims of earth,
whose feet are descending the narrowing vale that
leads to the dim obscure, unpenetrated by mortal
eyes, are easily pained by even the semblance of
indifference or neglect. They are sensitively alive
to every intimation that their places in the busy
arena of active life were already better filled by
others; that they are rather tolerated than essential.
Those who are most worthy of regard are least
likely to be insensible to such influences. Remember, then, that you should never run the race of life
so "fast" as to encroach upon the established claims
of your predecessors in the course. Nor would the
most prematurely sage young man be entirely unbenefited, it may be, by availing himself occasionally
of the accumulated experience, erudition, and knowledge of the world, possessed by many a quiet "old
fogy," whose unassuming manners, modest selfrespect, and pure integrity present a just model to
"Young America," albeit, perchance, too old-fashioned to be deemed worthy of attention!
While the general proposition-that manner is, to
a considerable extent character?in action, is un
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doubtedly correct, we occasionally see the exact
converse painfully exemplified.  It sometimes occurs
that the most amiable persons labor through life
under the disadvantage of a diffident or awkward
manner, which does great injustice to their intrinsic
excellences. And this is but another evidence of
the necessity of the earliest attention to this subject.
Though no one should be discouraged in an
endeavor to remedy the defects arising from neglect,
in this respect (and, indeed, it may properly be considered as affording room for ceaseless advancement,
like every other portion of the earthly education
of immorfal beings), few persons, perhaps, ever completely overcome the difficulties arising from inllattention to this important branch of education, while
youthful pliancy renders the formation of habits
comparatively easy.
The early acquisition of habits of self-possession and self control, will furnish the surest basis
for the formation of correct manners. With this
should be united, as far as is practicable, constant
association with well-educated and well-bred people:
there is no friction like this to produce external
polish, nor can the lmost elaborate rules furnish an
effectual substitute for the ease that practice alone
secures.
Lose no opportunity, therefore, for studiously
observing the best living models, not for the purpose of attempting an undiscriminating imitation of
even the most perfect, but, as an original and gifted
artist derives advantage from studying works of 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
genius, by the great masters of art, to avail your
self of the matured knowledge resulting from
experience.
But now for an exemplary anecdote or two:  "Colonel Lunettes, do you know some gentleman
going to U       in this train " inquired my friend
ex-Governor T-, extending his hand to me in
the car-house of one of our western cities.  "I wish
to place a very pretty young lady under the care of
some suitable person for a short time, until she
joins a party of friends."
"Really, my dear sir, I regret that I have just
arrived," returned I; " youtempt me to turn about
and go over the ground again."
"Uncle T, there is II    B   - just getting
out of that car," cried a young lady, approaching us,
with two or three fair companions, " perhaps he is
going on."
At this moment a young man, in a dress that
might have been that of the roughest back-woodsman, approached the group.
Hie wore a very broad-brimmed, coarse straw hat,
capable of serving the double purpose of umbrella
and chapeau, his hands were  incased  in strong
gauntlet-gloves, and he carried a large engineer's
field-book under one arm.
RPemoving his hat, as he somewhat hesitatingly
advanced, and passing his hand over a beard of
several days' growth, glancing downward, at the
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same time, upon heavy-soled boots, thickly encrusted
with dry mud- 
" Ladies," said he, " I am too dirty to come near
you; I have been surveying in the swamps in this
neighborhood for several days past, camping out,
and jumped upon the cars a few miles back,
bound for my stationary quarters and-the blessings
of civilization7t!"  And, with the color deepening in
his sun-burnt face, he bowed to us all, with a grace
that Count d'Orsay could scarcely have exceeded.
The youth was very cordially welcomed by his
friends; little Kitty, who is privileged to say anything, declared she " never saw him look so handsome;" and, I confess, that even my flinty old heart
was favorably moved towards the young engineer.
I admired the good taste that dictated an explanation of the soiled condition of his clothes (his thick
linen shirt, however, was clea,); not an absurd apology for not being wel-dre88ed, and I liked his use
of the good, significant Saxon word that most trutlhfully described his condition.
After an exchange of civilities, turning respectfully to the governor, he said: " Governor T, can
I be of any service? You seemed to be looking for
some one."
An explanation of the circumstances resulted in
the resignation of his fair charge to the temporary
care of this same toil-worn, "dirty" young engineer, by my friend, who is himself one of the most
fastidious and world-polished of men!
A few days after this trifling adventure, I went, by
I 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
invitationr, to pass a day with my friend the ex-govern or, at his beautiful residence a little out of the city.
Standing near one of the drawing-room windows,
just before dinner, I observed a gentleman alighting
from a carriage, at the entrance of the mansion. I
was struck with his elegant air, as he kissed his hand
to some one who was, like myself, an observer on the
occasion.
" There is I- B!" exclaimed the joyous voice
of pretty Kitty, the niece of my host, and a little
scrutiny, while he was paying his compliments to
the several members of the family, enabled me to
recognize in this graceful stranger the rough-looking
youth I had previously seen at the d6pot. But what
a metamorphosis!  lie now wore an entirely modish
dinner-dress, exquisitely tasteful in all its appointments; his coat of the most faultless fit, and boots
that displayed a very small and handsome foot to
admirable advantage.   I afterwards noticed, too,
that " camping out" in the "swamps "had not, apparently, impaired the smoothness of the slender fingers
and carefully-cut nails that came under my observation while listening, in the course of the evening, te
the rich voice and guitar accompaniment of Mr. B —.
"Did 3IMr. B     come out in a carriage." inquired
one of the ladies of the family, in a low tone, of my
host, near whom I was standing, when arrangements
were to be made for the return of the guests to town.
" Certainly he did," answered the governor, " Mr.
B      is too much of a sybarite to heat himself by
walking out here to dinner, on such a day as this."
4*
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"And too economical, I have no doubt, judging
from his good sense in other respects," I added, "to
spoil a pair of costly dress boots in such service."
" Mrs. M,one moment, if yon please," said a
voice behind us, and Mrs. ML    (who is the acting
mistress of the mansion) took the arm politely proffered her, and stepped out upon the portico. Presently she returned  "Uncle T," whispered she (" excuse me, Col.
Lunettes), John need not get up our carriage; Mr.
B     has been so polite as to insist upon our sending
the girls home in his, saying that he really prefers to
sit outside, and that the carriage in which hle drove
out is to be here in a few minutes."
" He happened to know that John has to be up
with the lark, about another matter," remarked the
host, "and "
"1l How kind!" returned the lady; "but Mr. B
does everything so agreeably that one does not know
which to admire most-the charm of his manner,
or"
"The good: breeding, from which it springs!" exclaimed the governor, finishing the eulogy.
Attending a lady fromn the dinner-table at the St,
Nicholas, in New York, she begged me to wait with
her for a few minutes, near the passage conducting
to the drawing-rooms, saying, playfully, that she
wished to way-lay a gentleman.  "I have been all
the morning," she then explained, "trying to meet a 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
Russian friend of ours, who is certainly staying here,
though we cannot succeed in seeing him.   My husband charged me, before we parted this morning, as
he was obliged to go out of town for the day, with a
message for our friend, which he said nmust be delivered by me in person. Ah, there he is now!" and
she advanced a step towards an elderly gentleman
accompanying a lady.
I released her arm from mine, of course, and
retired a little; the other lady also simultaneously
withdrawing.  I bowed respectfully to her.
" Hate you ever chanced to remark this picture?"
inquired the fair stranger of me, as we stood thus
near each other, turning towards the painting of the
patron saint of the Knickerbockers, which graced the
main staircase of the hotel; "it is very appropriately
selected."
Nothing could be more unmistakably refined and
highbred than the bearing of the interlocutor, while
we chatted a moment or two longer.
"I beg your pardon, madam, for depriving you of
your cavalier; nothing but necessity could excuse"
-began the lady, who had been talking earnestly,
in the meanwhile, with the Russian, approaching us.
She was at once relieved from making further explanation.
"Pray don't name it-and allow me to renew my
slight acquaintance with you," offering her hand.
"With pleasure," returned my fair friend, instantly; but she looked a little puzzled, despite her
courtesy.
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" I see you do not recollect the weary traveller who
was so much obliged to your politeness in the hotel
in Washington, the other night. The only strangerlady (turning to her attendant) I have met in this
country, who has rendered me the slightest civility."
All this was, of course, quite unintelligible to me,
but later in the evening I had the honor of being
introduced to these strangers, and, incidentally,
received a solution of the mystery.
While a pleasant party with which I had the good
fortune to be associated, was cozily gathered in one
of the quiet little drawing-rooms of the St. nicholas,
the conversation turned upon the difference of
manners in different nations. Let me premise a
brief explanation, that you may the better understand what follows. The Russian gentleman, whom
I had seen in the passage, is Dr. de II, a distinguished savant, travelling in the service of his imperial master, and the lady whom he was attending
from dinner a Frenchwoman of high birth and
breeding.  My fair charge is the wife of an officer
of our army, who nearly lost his life in the late Mexican war, returning home covered alike with wounds
and honors, and with still I don't know how many
bullets in his body, as life-long tokens of his bravery.
I is heroic young wife, when she learned that he had
landed at New Orleans, as soon after the conclusion
of peace as his condition enabled him to be conveyed
to the sea-board and make the voyage, set out to join
him at the South, with an infant of only a few weeks
old, and herself in enfeebled health.  They had been 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
married but a short time, when  Col. A          was
ordered to the seat of war, and the lady was a belle
and a beauty, of scarce nineteen —the cherished idol
of wealth and affection.  These persons, and one or
two others were, with myself, seated, as I have said,
cozily together for a little talk, after dinner.
Taking advantage of the temporary absence of
Mrs. V, the Frenchwoman, turning to Dr. de
H, said: "What a charming person!  I must
tell you about my first meeting with her. You know
we are just returned from a little tour at the south
of this country. Well, at Washington, the other
evening we have arrived, my husband and I,
with my little daughter, Lorrette, very tired and
covered with dust, at the hotel. A friend had engaged apartments for us, two or three days before, but
we were not conducted to them. They led us into a
sort of corridor, where gentlemen and ladies were
walking, in dinner dress, and left us to stand against
the wall for some time. At last Victor told me to be
patient, and he would go and see. I have thought I
should fall down with fatigue and vexation, and poor
little Lorrette leaned against me and was almost
quite asleep. At this moment, a lady and gentleman who were sitting in a little alcove, which was
in the corridor, observed us, as I saw, though I tried
to turn myself from all. They came immediately to
us. The gentleman brought a light chair in his
hand.'Madam,' said the gentleman,'allow me to
offer you a seat; I am surprised that Mr. Willard
has no reception-room for travellers.' Before I could
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thank them, properly, the lady said, seeing how Lorrette had begun to cry,' Do come and sit over there
in the little recess; there is a larger chair in which
the little girl can lie down until you can get your
rooms. Pray come'-and all this with such a sweet
manner.   Seeing that the gentleman was already
looking for another chair to bring to us, I went away
with the lady; saying, however, that I was so sad to
come with her in this dress, and to trouble her
When we were in the little alcove, almost by ourselves, she placed Lorrette on a little couch, and
forced me to sit on the only good chair, saying that
she preferred to stand a little, and so many other
polite, kind words! Then, while the gentleman
talked a little with me, she began to tell Lorrette
that her papa would soon take her to a nice supper, and made her look, when she was no longer
so tired, at some nice drawings of colored birds that
her friend was showing her when they came to
carry us to them."
You must picture to yourselves the animated
gestures, the expressive tones, and the slight Gallic
accent that gave double significance to this little
sketch, to form a correct idea of the pleasing effect
produced upon us allbythe narration. Observing Mrs.
V      re-entering the room, the charming Frenchwoman only added, enthusiastically: " Really these
were persons so agreeable, that I could not forget
them; as I have told you to-day, Dr. de If, it is
the only stranger American lady who has ever been
polite in our journev." 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
"Are the ladies of our country, then, so remiss in
politeness?' said a young American lady present, in
a deprecatory tone.
"I beg  your  pardon, madam,"  returned  the
foreigner, "the Americans are the most kind-hearted
people in the world, but they do not say it! it is the
-?Jlatner!"
"I shall really begin to think," said Mrs. V,
" that there is some other cause than my being a
brunette for my being so often taken for a foreigner.
I am often asked whether I am from New Orleans,
or of French extraction."
I am not surprised," exclaimed Dr. de IH,
"my  friend Sir C        G, who saw you this
morning, asked me afterwards what country was you
of."
"Why, how was that?"
"lHe told me he had just given a servant, that
stupid old man in the hall, the house-porter, I
believe you call him, a card, to take to some room,
when you met him, and directed him to go to the
office with a message; but, observing the card in his
hand, and that a gentleman stood there, you immediately told him to go first with the card and you
would wait for him."
Here the silvery laugh of Mrs. V       interrupted
the Russian.  " Excuse me," said she, "I remember
it!.-that old porter, who always makes a mistake, if it
is possible, has so often annoyed me, that this time I
was determined, as it was a person I much wished
to see, not to lose mry visitor through him, so, after
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waiting some time in one of these roonms, I went to
him to inquire, and sent him to the office, when I
found that my poor friend was waiting there, while
I waited here. Observing a gentleman who seemed
already to have required his services, I bade him go
first for him, of course.'Apres vous, madamre, je
voAs prie,'* said he, with the most courtly air;so that was Sir C     G-     "
"Yes, madam," answered the savant, " but it was
your air that was remarkable!  Sir C         told me
that while you both were waiting there you addressed some polite remark to him, pour passer le
temps, and that he thought you were not an Ameri
can lady, because you 8soke to  i  "
Speaking of not s8peaking," said I, when lthe
general amusement had abated, "reminds me of an
amusing little scene that I once witnessed ini the
public parlor of a new England tavern, where I
was compelled to wait several hours for a stagecoach. Presently there entered a bustling, sprightlylooking little personage, who, after frisking about the
room, apparently upon a tour of inspection, finally
settled herself very comfortably in the large cushioned rocking-chair-the only one in the room-and
was soon, as I had no reason to doubt, sound asleep.
It was not long, however, before a noise of some oiie
entering aroused her, and a tall, gaunt old Yankee
woman, hung round with countless bags, bonnetboxes, and nondescript appendages of various sizes
* After you are served, madam, I beg. 
TO POLITENESS ANI FASHION.
and kinds, presented herself to our vision. After
slowly relieving herself of the numberless incum brances that impeded her progress in life, she turned
to a young man who accompanied her, and said, in a
tone so peculiarly shrill, that it might have been
mistaken, at this day, for a railroad whistle:
"' Now, Johnathan, don't let no grass grow under
your feet while you go for them tooth-ache drops; I
am a'mos' crazy with pain!' laying a hand upon
the affected spot as she spoke; "and here," she
called out, as the door was closing upon her messenger,'just get my box filled at the same time!'
diving, with her disengaged hand, into the unknown
depths of, seemingly, the most capacious of pockets,
and bringing to light a shining black box, of sufficient
size to hold all the jewels of a modern belle,'I
thought I brought along my snuff-bladder, but I
don't know where I put it, my head is so stirred
up.'
"' By this time the little woman in the rocking-chair
was fairly aroused, and rising, she courteously
offered her seat to the stranger, her accent at once
betraying her claim to be ranked with the politest
of nations (a bow, on my part, to the fair foreigner
in the group). With a prolonged stare, the old
woman coolly ensconced herself in the vacated seat,
making not the slightest acknowledgment of the
civility she had received. Presently, she began to
groan, rocking herself furiously at the same time.
Tile former occupant of the stuffed chair, who had
retired to a window, and perched herself in one of
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a long row of high wooden seats, hurried to the sufferer. " I fear, madame," said she, "that you
suffare ver' much:-vat can I do for you?"  The
representative of Yankeedom might have been a
wooden clock-case for all the response she made to
this amiable inquiry, unless her rocking more
furiously than ever might be construed into a reply.
The little Frenchwoman, apparently wholly unable to class so anomalous a specimen of humanity,
cautiously retreated.
Before I was summoned away, the tooth-ache
drops and the snuff together (both administered in
large doses!) seemed to have gradually produced
the effect of oil poured upon troubled waters.
The sprightly Frenchwoman again ventured upon
the theatre of action.
"You find yourself now  much improved, madame?" she asked, with considerable vivacity.  A
very slight nod was the only answer.
"And you feel dis fauteuil, really ver' corforta-ble?" pursued the little woman, with augmented
energy of voice. Another nod was just discern
ble.
No intonation of mine can do justice to the very
ecstasy of impatience with which the pertinacious
questioner now actually screamed out:
" Bien, madame, vil you say so, if you please!"
1 meant to repeat an impressive little story ~ld us 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
by my lovely friend, MIrs. V, before our merry
little party separated that night; but, even were this
letter not already too *' long drawn out," I find my
head in verv much the condition of that of the old
Yankee woman, whom, I trust, I have immortalized,
and will, therefore, reserve it for another time, hoping that you will pay me the compliment to recollect my description of my dramatis personas until
then.
Meanwhile, here is one other anecdote for you:
During my usual morning ride, one day lately, I
stopped to breathe my horse on the top of a little
hill, in the suburbs of one of the villages upon the
banks of the Hludson. While enjoying the beauty
of the fine landscape before me, my horse, all on a
sudden, started violently. I presently discovered
the cause of his fright. Some little rascals were at
play in the unenclosed yard of an old building near,
and one of them was throwing lumps of earth,
pieces of broken crockery, rusty sheet-iron, etc., upon
the plank-walk in front. As I turned my head
towards them, a little urchin who was perched upon
a knob of the root of a tree, with his hands upon his
knees, cried out, energetically: "There now, look-a
there! Ain't you a pretty fellow? dirtying up the
walk so, when people are going by." Ilis little
freckled face expressed real concern, as he looked
fixedly up the walk. Glancing in the same direction, I saw  an  elegantly-dressed lady carefully
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gathering up her dress, preparatory to encountering
the sharp obstacles in her path, and at once understood
the cause of the reproof I had overheard, and which
I assure you, I have transcribed verbatim, though
the phrase "pretty fellow" may seem incongruous
in the mouth of a dirty little Irish boy. I only hope
the lady-whose gentle smile indicated that she too
understood the scene-was compensated for being so
inconmmoded by discerning the inbred politeness of
her little champion.
As it is your desire that I should deal rather with
practical realities than with generalities or theories,
let us come in my next, without preliminaries, to plain
suggestions, presented somewhat in detail, with the
usual simplicity and frankness of that "plain, blunt
manl,"
Your affectionate uncle
HAL.
I 
TO POLITENESS  ND  FASHION.
LETTER IV.
MANNER CONTINUED:-PRACTICAL DIRECOTIONS.
MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
IF I rightly remember, I concluded my
last letter to my young correspondents with a promise
of attempting in my next, some practical directions
in regard to Manner. I will, then, commence, at once
premising only in the impressive words of the immortal senator, who just at present holds so large a
space in the world's eye: "In now opening this great
matter, I am not insensible to the austere demands
of the occasion."
Important as Manner undoubtedly is, in every relation of life, the cultivation of an unexceptionable
deportment at home, may, perhaps, be regarded as of
primary consequence, in securing the happiness at
which all aim, though by means,
-" variable as the shade,
By the light, quivering aspen made."
I think I have already incidentally alluded to the
bad taste, to give it no severer name, so commonly
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exhibited by young persons in this country, in their
conduct towards _aprents. Let nothing tempt yoit, I
pray you, into habits so discreditable.  Manhood is
never depreciated by any true estimate, when yielding tribute to the claims of age.-Towards your
father preserve always a deferential manner, mingled
with a certain frankness, indicating that thorough
confidence, that entire understanding of each other,
which is the best guarantee of good sense in both, and
of inestimable value to every young man, blessed with
a right-minded parent.  Accept the advice dictated
by experience with respect, receive even reproof
without impatience of manner, and hastea to prov(
afterwards, that you cherish no resentful remembrance of what may even have seemed to you too great
severity, or too manifest an assumption of authority.
Heed the counsel of an old man, who " through the
loop-holes of retreat " looks calmly on the busy tide
of life rolling forever onward, and let the sod that
closes over the heart that throbs no more even with
affection and anxiety for you, leave for you only the
pain of parting-not the haunting demon of remorse.
Allow no false pride, no constitutional obstinacy, to
interfere with the better impulses of your nature, in
your intercourse with your father, or to interrupt for
an hour the manly trust that should be between you.
And in the inner temple of home, as well as when
the world looks on, render him reverence due.
There should be mingled with the habitual deference
and attention that marks your manner to your notier,
the indescribable tenderness and rendering back of
E 
TO POLITENESS AND  FASHION.
care and watchfulness that betokens remembrance of
her love in earlier days. No other woman should
ever induce you to forget this truest, most disinterested friend, nor should your manner ever indicate
even momentary indifference to her wishes or her
affection. Permit me again to refer you to the example of our country's pride in this regard. You will
all remember his marked attention, through life, to
his only parent, and the fact that his fi:rst appearance
in public, on a festive occasion, after the triumph of
Yorkstown, was in attendance upon his mother at the
ball given at Fredericksburgh, in celebration of that
event. A fair friend of mine, who has written the
most enthusiastically-appreciative description of this
memorable scene that I remember to have read, characterizes the manner of Washington as illustrating
the moral sublime, to a degree that filled all beholders with admiration.  But no one needs the examples
of history, or the promptings of friendship, to convince
him of a duty to which the impulses of nature unmistakably direct him: all that I, for a moment,
suppose you require, is to be reminded that no
thoughtlessness should permit your manner to do
injustice to your feelings, in this sacred relation of
life.
The familiarity of domestic intercourse should never
degenerate into a rude disregard for the restraints
imposed by refinement, nor an unfeeling indifference
to the feelings of others. With brothers and sisters
even, the sense of equality should be tempered by
habitual self-restraint and  courtesy.  "No man is
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96  THIE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
great to his valet de chcnzbre "-no man grows, by
the superior gifts of nature, or by the power of circumstance, beyond the genial familiarity of domestic
intercourse. You may be older and wiser than your
brothers, but no prerogatives of birthright, of education, or of intellect caii excuse assumption, or
make amends for the rupture of the natural tie that
is best strengthened by affectionate consideration
and respect.
To his sisters, every man owes a peculiar obligaLion arising from the claim nature gives them t6 his
protection, as well as to his love and sympathy. Nor
is this relative claim wholly abrogated even by their
being older than he. The attributes and the admitted
rights of our sex give even younger brothers the
privilege,-and such every well constituted man will
consider it,-of assuming towards such relations the
position of a friend, confidant and guardian. And
the manner of a gentleman will always indicate, unmistakably, the delicacy, the consideration and the
respect he considers due to them. I will not assume
the possibility of your being indifferent to their love
and interest; suffice it to say, that both will be best
deserved and preserved by a careful admingling of
the observances of politeness practised towards other
women, with the playful freedom sanctioned by consanguinity. The world will give you no substitutes
for the friends nature provides-they are bound to
you by all ties unitedly. Be ever mindful that no
rude touch of yours, sunders or even weakens the tenderest chords of the heart.
I 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
Since
"modest the manners by Nature bestowed
On Nature's most exquisite child,"
a man's conduct towards his wife  should always
indicate respect as well as politeness. No rude
familiarity should outrage the delicacy that veils
femininity, no outward indifference or neglect beto ken disregard of the sacred claims of the woman,
whom, next to his mother, every man is bound in
honor, to distinguish beyond all others, by courteous
observance. If you consider the affection you doubtless took some pains, originally, to win, worth preserving, if you think it of any moment to retain the
attributes ascribed to you by the object of that iffection, while you made the endeavor to do full justice
to yourself in the eyes of your tnistress,* would it be
wise to prefer no further claims to such ~haracteristics by your manner to your wiye?  I have never
forgotten the impression made upon me in youth by
an exquisite letter in one of Addison's Spectators,
purporting to be written by an old woman, in regard,
if I remember, to the very point we are now discussing. It contains, as inclosed to the Solon of polite
laws in that day, a note represented to have been
* I shall take the liberty to use the word " mistress," throughout
these letters, in the sense appropriated to it by Addison, Johnson,
and other English classic authors. Sweetheart is too old-fashioned.
" Lady-love" suits the style of my fashionable nieces, better than mine.
Mistress is an authorized Saxon word,  of well-defined meanings
though, like some others, perverted to a bad use, at times.
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93      TIE AMERICAN GENTLEMANES GUIDE
written to her, by the husband of the lady, from a
London coffee-house, upon some emergency, which
is the very embodiment of gentle courtesy, and concluding with a respectful apology for the coarse
paper, and other unseemly appliances of the communication.   "Could you see the withered hand that
indites this, dear Mr. Spectator," says the correspondent of Addison, "you would be still more impressed
by the gallantry that remains thus unimpaired by
time," or words to that effect. I have not the original to transcribe from, and the copy in my mnental
tablets is a little dimmed by the wear of years. But
though the exact phraseology of the number I allude
to is indistinct, I repeat that I have a thousand times
recalled the substance with the same pure pleasure
and admiration. I have not half done justice to it,
and, indeed, I am almost ashamed to have so poorly
sketched a picture whose beauty you may best appreciate by personal inspection. No tyro should
attempt a copy of the production of an old mnasterespecially when the mental magician fails to place
the original before his mind's eye,
"Pictured fair, in memory's mystic glass."
But if you do not despise such old-fashioned literature as the writings of the English classic authors —
and certainly, without undue prejudice in their favor,
I may venture, I think, to say, that a knowledge of
the writings of such men as Johnson, Goldsmith,
Burke, and Addison, should make part of the educa 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
tion of every gentleman-if you will look up this
elegant essay, and read it for yourselves, I can safely
promise you ample remuneration for your trouble.
Do not degrade your own ideal by a too minute
scrutiny, nor forget that the shrine of the Lares, though
it may be approached with the simplest offerings, is
desecrated by even a momentary forgetfulness that
its votaries should be
"Content to dweell in decencies, forever I"
The chosen friend of your life, the presiding genius
of your home, the mother of your children, then,
not only claimns the high place of trust and confi dence, but the proof aforded by manner of the exist ence and dominance of these sentiments.
Many men, with the kindest feelings and the
clearest perceptions of duty, are, from mere inadver
tency, unobservant of the fact that they habitually
give pain to those dependent on them for consideration, by neglecting those graces of manner that lend
a charm to the most trifling actions. Remember,
while you are forming habits, in this respect, how
sensitively constituted are the gentler sex, how easily
pained, how easily pleased. The more discriminating and affectionate is woman, the more readily is
she wounded. Like a harp of a thousand strings,
her nature, if rudely approached, is jarred responsively, while the gentlest touch elicits an harmonious
thrill.  The delightful abaidon that constitutes one
of the most exquisite enjoyments of home, is not aug
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100     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
mented, for a man of true refinement, by a total disre.
gard of ceremony and self-restraint. Selfishness, illhumor, and a spirit of petty tyranny, rest assured,
though their manifestation be confined to home
intercourse, and borne in silence there, will gradually undermine character and essentially dimninish
domestic happiness.
Earnestly, therefore, do I admonish my youthful
relatives to cultivate a careful observance of the
requisitions of what has been well designated as
"1domestic politeness."   Confer favors with ready
cheerfulness, or, if necessary, refuse them with an
expression of regret, or a polite explanation. Never
repel solicitations, much less caresses, with impatience, nor allow your bearing to indicate the reluctant discharge of a duty that should also be a pleasure. A smile, an intonation of affection, a glance
of appreciation or acknowledgment-small artillery
all, I grant, my boys, but they will suffice to make a
Jfeu-dejoie in a loving heart, that will, each and
every one of them, cause you to be followed in the
thorny path of daily life by a blessing that will not
harm you; they will secure you a welcome, when,
world-worn, you shall " homeward plod your weary
way," worth all the gold you have gathered, and
well rewarding all the toil you have encountered.
I will only add, in this connection, that manhood
is ennobled by the habitual exercise of delicate forbearance towards helplessness and dependence, and
that a high test of character is the right use ofpower.
Those, then, whom nature teaches to look to you for
*o  
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
affection, as well as for care and protection-your
mother, wife, sisters-should invariably derive from
your manner evidence of the steadfastness of your
interest and regard for them.
Like most of the aphorisms of the ancients for
subtle wisdom, is the saying, "We should reverence
the presence of children." Fresh from the creating
hand of Deity, they are committed to us. While
yet unstained by the pollutions of the world, should
we not render a certain homage to their pristine
purity and innocence? Should we not hesitate by
exhibitions of such qualities of our nature as are
happily still dormant in them, to force them into pre  cocious development? The silent teaching of ex  ample tells most effectively upon the young for the
reason that they are insensibly forming in imitation
of the models before them, without the disadvan  tages of previous habit, or of diminished impressi  bility. It is no light sin, then, either in our man  ner towards them, or towards others in their pres  ence, to obtrude a false standard of propriety upon
their notice. If manner be, as we have assumed,
active manifestation of character, the ductile minds
of these nice observers and ceaseless imitators must
be indeed seriously under its influences. That care ful study of individual peculiarities Which paternal
duty imperatively demands, will readily suggest the
proper modification of manner demanded by each
different child in a household. It is said that chil
- dren are never mistaken judges of character. Certain
it is, at least, that they instinctively discern their true
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102     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
friends, and that of " the Kingdom of HIeaven," as
by divine assertion they are-the law  of Love, attempted in its administration by practical good sense,
is the most effective influence that can be brought
to bear upon them. Permit me to recall to your
remembrance the tenderness that distinguished the
manner of Christ towards little children.
Pre-supposing as I have done, thus far in this letter,
and as I shall continue to do, throughout our correspondence, that you regard moral obligation as the
grand incentive to the correct discipline even of
the outer man, arrogating to myself only the office
of the lapidary,-that of endeavoring to polish, not
create, the priceless jewel of principle, I shall make
no apology for the suggestion, that manner should
not be regarded as beneath the attention of a Chlristian gentleman, in his intercourse with such inmates
of hit household as may from any circumstance be
peculiarly sensitive to indications of negligent observance.  The aged, the inrm, the insignifcant,
the dependent; all, in short, who are particularly
afflicted "in mind, body, or estate," are suitable recipients of the most expressive courtesies of manner.
Perhaps no single phase of manner at home more
correctly illustrates nice mental and moral perceptions than the treatment of servants and inferiors
generally. One may be just to the primary obligations evolved by this relation to others, and yet always receive the service of fear rather than of affection. All needless assumption of authority or superiority, in connection with this position, is indicative
he 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
of inherent vulgarity, and is at as great a remove from
a true standard as is undue familiarity. Never to
manifest pleasure even by a smile, never to make
an acknowledgment in words, of the kindly offices
that money cannot adequately reward, may be very
grand and stately, but such sublime elevation above
one's fellow-creatures raises the heart to rather an
Alpine attitude-to a height at which the milk of
human kindness even, may congeal!
Always accept voluntary service with the slight
acknowledgment that suffices to indicate your consciousness of it, nor deem it unworthy of one pilgrim upon the great highway of life to cheer another
upon whom the toil and burden falls heaviest, by a
smile or a word of encouragement. The language
of request is, as a rule, in better taste than that of
commanald, and, in most instances, elicits more ready,
as well as cheerful obedience. Scott makes Queen
Elizabeth say, on a momentous occasion, " Sussex, I
entreat; Leicester, I command!" " But," adds the
author, " the entreaty sounded like a command, and
the command was uttered in a tone of entreaty." Can
you make only a lesson in elocution out of this; or
will it also illustrate our present theme?
Few persons who have not had their attention
called to this subject, have any just conception of the
real benefits that may be conferred upon those
beqneath us in station by a pleasant word uttered iv,
apleasant tone.  Like animals and young children,
uneducated persons are peculiarly susceptible to all
external influences. They are easily amused, easily
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gratified-shall I add, easily satisfled, mentally? The
comparatively vacant mind readily admits an impression from without; hence, he who " whistles for want
of thought," will whistle more cheerily for the introduction of an agreeable remembrance, into the unfurnished "chambers of imagery," and the humble
plodder who relieves us of a portion of the dead
weight that oppresses humanity, will go on his way
rejoicing; ofttiines for many a weary mile, impelled by a single word of encouragement from
his superior officer in the " Grand Army" of life.
But I hear you say, "Uncle Hal grows military' the ruling passion strong' even in letter-writing.
Like the dying Napoleon, his last words will be
' ete d'Arme!' "'-Well, wvell, boys! pardon an old
man's diffuseness! —his twilight dullness!
There are occasions when to talk to servants and
other employ6s, make part of a humane bearing
towards them. To converse with them in relation
to teir affairs rather than our own, is the wiser
course, and to mingle a little appropriate instruction
withal, may not be amiss. Remember, too, how
easily undisciplined persons are frightened by an
imperious, or otherwise injudicious, manner on the
part of their superiors, out of the self-possession essential to their comprehension of our wants and language.
I believe even the American author who has long
concentrated his mental energies in elaborating the
.L~ 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
literary apotheosis of Xapoleoon le Grand, has not
ascribed to his idol excessive refnement of manner.
Hiis attempts at playfulness always degenerated into
buffoopery, and his habitual bearing towards women,
in whatev er relation, they stood to him, was iunmistakable evidence of his utter want of nicety of perce)tion on this point.
Holding a reception, on one occasion, in a gallery
of the Tuileries for his relatives, his mother was
present, with others of his family. The emperor
proffered his hand to each in turn to kiss. Last of
all, his venerable  parent  approached  him.   As
before, he proffered his hand. With an air worthy
of the severe dignity of a matron of early Grecian
days, " Madame Mere" waved it aside, and, extending her own, said, "You are the king, the emperor,
of all the rest, but you are my son!"  Would a man
imbued with
"The fair humanities of old religion"
have needed such a rebuke, from such a source,
think you?"
Bonaparte was quite as stringent in his enforcement of court rules, in regard to dress and all matters of detail, as Louis XIV. himself, and often quite
as absurd as the " Grand Monargqe " in his requisitions.-Abruptly approaching a high-born lady of the
old regrnime, one of the members of Josephine's household, who firom illness (and, perhaps, disgust commingled) had disobeyed an edict commanding full
(,ress at an early hour on a particular mornings
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as she leaned against a window in this same gallery
of the Tuileries, the First Consul contemptuously
kicked aside her train, at the same time addressing
the wearer in an outburst of coarse vituperation.
Madame Junot records a characteristic illustration
of Napoleon's unmanly disregard of the constitutional
timidity of his first wife, as well as of his manner
towards her in general.
As they were about to cross a turbulent stream
upon an insecure-looking bridge, in a carriage, the
Empress expressed a wish to alight. Napoleon forcibly interfered, but permitted the fair narrator of the
incident, who was in the carriage with them, to do so,
upon her informing him with the nazvete of a true
Frenlch-woman, that there was a special reason for
her avoiding, a fright! Josephine wept in helpless
terror, even when the ordeal was safely passed. Byand-by, the whole cortege stopped, and every one
alighted; the imperial tyrant rudely seizing the
empress by the arm, dragged her towards the destination of the party, in a neighboring wood, saying,
as he urged her forward: "You look ugly when you
cry!"
One of Napoleon's biographers has said of him
that many passages in his letters to Josephine
were such as no decent Englishman would address to his'lady light o' love,' and it is well
known that his earliest intercourse with the proud
daughter of the House of Hapsburg-the shrinking
representative of the hereditary refinement of a
long line of high-bred women-was marked by the
I 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
merest brntality. It was left to a citizen of our
Republic to discover, in the year of our Lord one
thousand, eight hundred and fifty-five, that this man
was the"   WasAigton of' France!" and to commu
nicate the marvellous fact to the present occupant
of the imperial throne of the Great Captain —who
is, by the way, the grandson of  the repudiated
Jos8pine!
Steaming along the Ohio, some years ago, I had
the good-fortune to fall in with the most agreeable
companions, a father and son, Kentuckians, of education and good-breeding. The father had won high
public honors in his native State, and the son was j ust
entering upon a career demanding the full exercise
of his fine natural gifts. I was particularly attracted
by the cordial confidence and affection these gentlemen manifested towards each other, and by the
manly deference  rendered  by  the youth to his
venerable sire.
A storm drove us all into the cabin, in the evening,
and, while the elder of my two new friends and I
pursued a quiet conversation in one part of'he room,
his son joined a group of young men at some distance from us. Gradually the mirth of those youngsters became so roisterous as to disturb our talk.
Hlot and hotter waged their sport, loud and louder
grew their laughter, until our voices were fairly
drowned, at intervals.  More than once, I saw the
punctilious gentleman of the old school glance to
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wards the merry party, of which, by the way, h's son
was one of the least boisterous. At length he spoke,
and his clear, calm voice rang like a trumpet-note
through the apartment:
"Frederick!"-  there was an instant lull in the
storm) and the faces of each of the group turned to
us —" make a little less noise, if you please."
The youth rose immediately and advanced towards us: c Gentlemen," said he, with a heightened
color and a respectful bow, " I beg your pardon!
I really was not aware of being so rude."
I said something about the very natural buoyancy
of youthful spirits; but I did not say that this little
scene had the effect upon me that might be produced
by unexpectedly meeting, in the log-hut of a backwoodsman, with a painting by an old master, representing some fine incident of classical or chivalrous
history-as, for instance, the youthful Romanal restoring the beautiful virgin prisoner to her friends with
the words, "far be it from Scipio to purchase pleasure at the expense of virtue!"
My pleasure in observing the intercourse of these
amiable relatives in some degree prepared me for
the enjoyment in store for the favored guest, whoa
at the earnest instance of both father and son, a few
days afterwards, turned aside in his journey to seek
them, at homne. It was a scene worthy the taste
and  the pen of Washington Irving himself, that
quaint-looking old family mansion,-in the internal
arrangements of which there was just enough of
modern comfort and adornment to typify the soft 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
ened conservatism of the host,-and the family
group that welcomed the stranger, with almost
patriarchal simplicity and hospitality.  Really it
was a strange episode in busy American life.  My
venerable friend sat, indeed, "under the shadow of
his own vine and fig-tree, with none to malke him
afraid," reaping the legitimate reward of an honorable, well-spent life, and beside him the friend who
had kept her place through the heat and burden of
the day, and now shared the serene repose of the
evening of his life. What placid beauty still lingered in that matron face, what "dignity and love"
marked every action!  And the fair daughters of
the house, who, like Desdemona, "ever and anon
would come again and gather up our discourse," in
the intervals of household duty, or social obligationthey seemed to vie with each other and with their
brother in every thoughtful and graceful observance
towards their parents and towards me, and the noble
boy-for he really was scarcely more, even reckoned by the estimate of this "fast" age-unspoiled
by the dangerous prerogatives of an only son, manifestly regarded the bright young band of which he
still made one, with the mingled tenderness and
pride that would even shield them from
"The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."
These all surrounded my venerable host and hostess,
as they gently and calmly turned their feet towards
the downward path of life, with intertwining hearts
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and hands-like a garland of roses enwreathing
time-worn twin-trees-ever on the watch to lighten
each burden they would fain have wholly assumed,
and with loving care striving to put far off for them
the evil day when the "grasshopper shall be a burden."
But I essay a vain task when I would picture such
a scene for you, my friends. If I may hope that I
have made a study, from which you will catch a
passing suggestion for future use, in the limning of
your own life-portraits, it is well.
Chancellor K, who was my  life-long friend,
retained, even in the latest years of his lengthened
life, an almost youthful sprightliness of feeling and
manner.  Hlis son, himself a learned and distinguished son of the law, thought no duty more imperative, even in the prime of his manhood and in mid
career in his honorable profession, than that of devotion to his father, in his declining years.  IHe fixed
his residence near, or with, his venerable parent, and,
like the son of ancient Priam, long sustained the
failing steps of age. Few things have impressed me
more favorably, in my intercourse with the world,
than this noble self-sacrifice.
No one unacquainted with my vivacious friend
can appreciate the full expressiveness of his cha
racteristic remark to me, on an occasion when his
son happened to be the theme of conversation 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
between us.  "Ilike that young ma  amazingly!"
said the chancellor.
I still remember the impression made on me, when
a boy, by meeting, in the streets of my native city,
a stalwart young sailor, arrayed in holiday dress,
and walking with his mother, a little, withered old
woman, in a decent black dress, hanging upon his
arm. How often that powerful form, the impersonation of youth, health, and physical activity, has
risen up before my mind's eye, in contrast with the
little, tremulous figure he supported with such watchful care, and upon which such protecting tenderness
breathed from every feature of his honest, weatherembrowned face.
Bob and Charley grew side by side, like two fine
young saplings in a wood, for some years. After
awhile, however, the brothers were separated. Bob
went to a large city, became a merchant, grew rich,
lived in a fine house, was a Bank Director, and an
Alderman. Hiis younger brother, pursuing a more
modest, but equally manly and elevated career, seldom met Bob during some years, and then only
briefly at their father's house, when there was a
family gathering at Thanksgiving, or on some other
similar occasion.
Once, when I chanced to see these young men together, thus, I remarked that, while the sisters of
each clung round the neck of the unassuming, but
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112     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
true-hearted, right-minded Charley, at his coming,
and lost no opportunity of being with him, the repellant manner of the elder brother held all more or less
aloof, though none failed in polite observance towards
him. Egotistical and pompous, he seemed to regard
those about him as belonging to an inferior race.
As his brother and I sat talking together near a table
upon which were refreshments, hlie actually had the
rudeness to reach between us for a glass, without the
slightest word or token of apology, with his arm so
near to his brother's face as almost to touch it!
There was more of shame than indignation expressed
in that fine, ingenuous countenance when it again
met my unobstructed gaze, and I thought I detected
a slight tremor in the sentence he uttered next in the
order of our conversation.
Before my visit that day was at an end, I found
myself exceedingly embarrassed as an unwilling
auditor of a political discussion between Bob and
his father, which grew, at length, into an angry
dispute, little creditable to, at least, the younger of
the two word-combatants.
As I stood in the hall that night, awaiting my carriage, I saw Charley advance to the door of the
library, opening near, and knock lightly. The voice
of his aged father bade him enter. Opening the
door, the young man, taking his hat quite off, and
bowing almost reverentially, said only, "I bid you
good night, sir," and quietly closed it again. When
they turned towards me, there was almost a woman's
softness in eyes that would have looked undimmed 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
upon the fiercest foe or the deadliest peril.-Think
you the Recording Angel flew up to Hieaven's high
Chancery with a testimony of that day's deeds and
words?
Once, after this, Charley had occasion to visit the
city where Bob resided. Breakfast over, at his hotel,
he sallied forth to call on Bob, at his own house, and
attend, subsequently, to other matters.
Hie was shown into an elegant drawing-room,
where the master of the mansion sat reading a newspaper. Without rising, he offered his hand, coldly,
and before inviting his visitor to sit, took occasion to
say that his wife's having an engagement to spend
the day out of town would prevent his inviting his
brother to dine!
As Chlarleydescended the steps of his brother's
stately mansion, at the termination of his brief call
that day, he silently registered a vow never again to
cross his threshold, unless impelled by imperative
duty. And yet Bob is not only a rich merchant, an
Alderman, and aBankDirector,but a manoffashion!
One of the most discriminating and truthful deli
neators of life and manners whom we boast among
our native authors, prominent among the characteristic traits he ascribes to an old English gentleman,
of whom he gives us an exquisite portraiture, is that
of such considerate kindness towards an old servant
as to make him endure his peevishness and obstinacy
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with good humor, and affect to consult and agree
with him, until he gains an important practical point
with "time-honored age."
Illustrative of our subject is one of the anecdotes
recorded of the poet Rogers, in his recently published
life:
" Mr. Rogers," said the body-servant, who had long
attended him in his helpless years, " we are invited
to dine with Miss Coutts." The italicizing is mine.
Is it not suggestive?
You remember the rest of the anecdote; Rogers
had the habit, during the latter years of his life, of
writing, when able to use his pen, notes to be dated
and directed as occasion required, in this established
form "Pity me, I am engaged."  So, on this occasion, the careful attendant added: "The pity-me's
are all gone!"
Weather-bound during the long, cold winter of
18-, by a protracted snow-storm and a severe cold,
in the house of an old friend, I left my comfortable
private quarters one morning for a little walk up and
down the corridor into which my own apartment and
those of the family opened.
By and by the active step of my hostess crossed
my sauntering way.
"Perhaps it may amuse you to come into the nur 
TO POLITENESS AND FASION..
sery, a little while, colonel," said she, "it will be a
novelty, at least, to you, to see behind the scenes."
" I feel myself honored by the permission, I assure
you; the yreen-7-ooin always  has  an interest for
me!" returned I; and I was soon ensconced in a
large, cushioned-chair, in a cozy corner, near the
open, old-fashioned "franklin" in which blazed a
cheerful wood-fire.    The  rosy-cheeked juveniles
among whom I found myself vied with each other
in efforts to promote my comfort. One brought her
own little chair, and placed it to support my feet;
another climbed up and stuffed a soft cushion
greatly larger than his ownI rotund, dumpling of a
figure, between me and the chair-back, assuring me
with a grave shake of the head, in which I saw the
future Esculapius, " it is so nice ven your head do
ache-manmma say so, ven I put him on her always!"
and brilght-eyed little Bessie, between whom and me
a very good understanding already existed, crowned
the varied hospitalities of my initiatory visit by
offering me the use of her tiny muff!
3Iy hostess, though she kept an observant eye upon
us, from her seat by her work-table over against my
arm-chair, had too much tact to interfere with the
proceedings of my  ministering cherubs; except to
prevent the possibility of my being annoyed.
When I had leisure to reconnoitre a little, I discovered, among the other fixtures in the large, welllighlted, cheerful-looking apartment, an old woman
with a good-humored face and portly person, seated
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116     THlE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN7S GUIDE
near a window, sewing, with a large, well-stored
basket of unmended linen and hosiery before her.
Presently, the eldest son, a fine manly boy of some
sixteen years entered, hat and cane in hand. Used,
I suppose, to a jumble of faces and forms, in this
human kaleidoscope, he evidently did not observe the
quiet figure in the high-backed chair.  "Mother,"
he exclaimed in a tone in which boyislh animation
and the utmost affection were singularly united, striding across the room, like the Colossus of Rhodes,
suddenly endued with powers of locomotion:
" Mother, you are the most beautiful and irresistible
of your beautiful and irresistible sex!" and stooping,
he pressed his full, cherry lips gently upon her
rounded cheek.
A flash of amusement, mingl,ed with the love-light
in the soft eyes that met those of the boy. Hie turned
quickly. A scarcely-discernible embarrassment of
manner, and a quick flush in the bright young face,
were all that I had time to note, before he was at my
side with a cordial greeting and a playful welcome
to " Mother's Land of Promise."
"Land of Nod, say rather," replied the presiding
genius of the scene, pointing to the quiescent
form of little Bessie, who-her curly head pillowed
on her chubby arm-was just losing all consciousness
of the world, upon the rug at her mother's feet.
"George, what an armful!" said the youth, in a
sort of half undertone, as he tenderly lifted the little
lay figure, and bore it to a crib. " Don't get up,
ll —
p 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
mother, I can cover her nicely. I say, mammy [an
arch glance over his shoulder towards the ancient
matron of the sewing-basket], how heavy bread and
milk is, though, eh!"
" Speaking of bread and milk, here comes lunch,"
continued my hero for the nonce, rubbing his hands
energetically, and only desisting to give a table the
dextrous twirl that would bring it near his mother,
and assist the labors of the servant who had entered
with a tray.
" Will, you immense fellow, take yourself' out
of the way!  Colonel, permit me  to give your
sedan-chair just the slightest impulse forward, and
so save you the trouble of moving.  My adorable
mother, allow me the honor of being your Ganymede.  Here we are, all right!  Now, let's see what
there is —ham, baked apples, cold roast beef, hot
cocoa-not so bad,'pon my word.  Colonel, I hope
this crispy mnorning, has given you some appetite,
after your hard cold-allow me "  " Mammy fust," here interposed little Will, authoritatively, " cause she older dan us!"  and, carefully holding the heaped-up plate his mother placed
in both hands, he deliberately adventured an overland journey to the distant object of his affectionate
solicitude.
At this j uncture, it was discovered that the servantman who brought up the tray, had forgotten the
sugar, and a young nursery-maid was dispatched for
it. Upon her return she contrived, by some awkwardness in closing the door, to spill the whole result
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118     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
of her mission to the pantry upon the floor. Hier arms
dropped by her sides, as if suddenly paralyzed and
I noticed a remarkable variety in the shade of her
broad Irish physiognomy.
" There is no great harm done, Biddy," said my
hostess, immediately, in a peculiarly quiet, gentle
voice, "just step down to John for another bowlful.
While poor Biddy is collecting her scattered
senses on the stairs, my son, will you kindly assist
Willie in picking up the most noticeable lumps?-put
them in this saucer, my dear. She is just learning,
you know and-she would not cross that Rubicon as
bravely as the classic hero you were reading of last
night."
"While we are so literary, mothler-what is it
about the dolphin? If I remember rightly Bid was
a pretty good exemplification "
"iHush!-I am glad you thought to bring up
more apples, Biddy. Colonel, here is the most
tempting spitzenberg-so good for a cold, too. Take
this to mammy will you, Biddy?  The one I sent
you before, was not so nice as these, mammy-your
favorite kind, you know."
Amused with the new scene in which I found
myself, I accepted the assurance of the fair home
mnother, as the Germans have it, that I was not in
the way, and lingered a little longer.
By and by, John came up to tell his mistress that
there was an old man at the door with a basket of
little things to sell, and that he had sent a box of
sealing-wax for her to look at. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
"Poo' man! poo' man?" said little Will, running
up to my knee, with such a sorrowful look in his inno cent face-" an' it so-o-o col'," he added, catching
his mnother's words, as if by instinct.
" Take him down the money, John," I overheard,
in the intervals between the discourse of my juvenile
instructor, " and this cup of chocolate-it will warm
him. Ask him to sit by the hall stove, while he
drinks it." Nothing was said about the exceedingly
portly brace of sandwiches that were manufactured
by the busiest of fingers, and which, through the
golden veil of Willie's light curls, I saw snugly tucked
in, on either side of the saucer.
" Now, young  ladies," continued  my  amiable
friend, addressing a bevy of her rosy-cheeked young
nieces, who had just before entered the room, "here
is a stick of fancy-colored wax, for each of us-make
your own choice. Luckily there is a red stick for
Col. Lunettes" (a half deprecatory glance at me),
"the only color gentlemen use.   And,"  as she
received the box again-" there is some for mammy
and me-we are in partnership, you know, mammy!"
A pleased look from the centre of the wide capfrills by the window, was the only response to this
appeal; but I had repeatedly observed that, despite
her industry mammy's huge spectacles took careful
cognizance of the various proceedings around her.
As I was about, for very shame, to beat a retreat,
a cheery —" good morning, Colonel, I tapped at your
door, as I came ap, and thought you were napping
it," arrested my intended departure. " So wifie has
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120     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
coaxed you in here! Just like her! She thinks
she can take the best care of you with"  "With the rest of the children!" I interrupted.
"My lovin7 spou," as Bessie says, when she recites
John Gilpin, "may I trouble you to tie my cravat?"
And with that important article of attire in his hand,
my friend knelt upon a low foot-stool, before his
household divinity.
"Thompson," said I, "I always knew you were one
of the luckiest fellows in the whole world; but may
I ask-just as a point of scientific inquiry-whether
that office is always performed for you,
'One fair spirit for your minister?'
"Not a bit of it! No indeed,'pon my  word!
only when I go to a dinner, as to-day-or to church,
or-I say, Will, you unmitigated rogue, how dare
you! you'll spoil my cravat-dont you see mamma
is just tying it!"
The little fellow thus objurgated, his eyes scintillating with mirth, now fairly astride of his father's
shoulders, clung tenaciously to his prize, and petitioned for a ride in his familiar seat.
Resorting to stratagem, where force would ill
apply, the father, rising with a "thank you, dear
wifie," retired backward towards a wide bed, and,
by a dextrous movement, suddenly landed his
youthful captor ill a heap in the middle.
To lose no time, the brave boy, "conquered, but
not subdued," made the best use of his lungs, while 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
reducing his arms and legs to order, and Bessie,
opening her beaming eyes, at this outcry, stretched
out her arms to aid her pathetic appeal to papa to
"p'ay one little hos" with her, "only but one!"
Evidently fearful of being out-generalled, the inva der beat a rapid retreat from the enemy's camp, with
the words "thank you, love, I believe the little ras
cal didn't tumble it, though I came within an
ace, like a real alderman, of dying of a dinner before it was eaten!"
After this initiatory visit to the nursery of my fair
friend, SIrs. Thompson, I was allowed to come and
go at my own pleasure, during the remainder of my
visit beneath her hospitable roof, and I fiund myself
so interested and amused by what I witnessed there,
as often to leave the solitude of my own apartment,
though surrounded there by every possible "aid and
appliance" of comfort and enjoyment that refinement and courtesy could supply, to learn the most
beautiful lessons of practical wisdom and goodness
from the most unpretending of teachers.
One morning when the liabitu6 had sought his
qAccustomed post of observation, a young lady presented herself at the door, and seeing me, was about
to retreat with something about its being very early
for a visit, when M3rs. Thompson recalled her with a
" Come in, my dear, and let me have the pleasure of
presenting you to Colonel Lunettes, the friend of
whom you have heard us all speak so often."
After the usual courtesies, this lovely earth-angel,
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122     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
with some hesitation, and drawing her chair nearer
her friend, explained her errand.
Miaking a little screen of a cherub-head, as was
my wont, I regaled myself unobserved, with the
music of sweet voices and the study of pretty faces.
I caught-" my old drawing-teacher "-" her husband was a brute in their best days "-"this long,
hard winter"- "not even a carpet "-"the poor
child on a wooden-bottomed chair, with a little dirty
pillow behind her head, and so emaciated!"- here
there was a very perceptible quiver in the low
tones, followed by a little choking sort of pause.
" I am really grateful to you for coming-I have
been unusually occupied lately by the baby's illness
and other duties-the weather has given me more
than one twinge of conscience "-this accompanied
by a quiet transfer from one purse to another, and
then I heard, as the two ladies bent over the crib of
the sleeping infant-" is there a stout boy among
the children?  There are the barrels of pork and
beef, always ready in the cellar-each good and
wholesome of their kind-husband always has them
brought from the farm on purpose to give away; and
we have abundance of fine potatoes-John could
not readily find the place, and really, just now, he
is pretty busy; still, perhaps, they have the natural
pride of better days-if you think it well, I will try
to send"-the gentle ministers of mercy left the
room together, and I heard no more.
Presently, the youth of whom I have before
I
-i 
TO POLITEN ESS AMN FASHION.
spoken, still at home enjoying his holiday's college
vacation, joined me, and, between the exercises of an
extertaining gymnastic exhibition, in which he and
Willie were the chief performers, regaled me with
humorous sketches of college adventures, anecdotes
of the professors, etc., in the details of some of which
I think he had his quiet old nurse in his mnind's eye,
as well as his father's guest.
When  Irs. Thompson resumed her accustomed
seat at her business-table, as it might well be called,
my agreeable young entertainer slid away fronm the
group about the fire, and was soon snugged down, in
his own favorite fashion, with his legs comfortably
crossed over the top of the chair sustaining mammy's
implements, cheek-by-jowl with the venerable genius
of the sewiing-basket, dipping into a newspaper, and
chatting, at intervals, with his humble friend. Once
in a while I caught a sentence like this:
(' I say, mammy, you can't begin to think how glad
I am you are getting down to my shirts! Such work
as they make washing for a fellow at college!  MlIy
black washerwoman (and such a beauty as she issuch a little rosebud of a mouth!) pretends to fasten
the loose buttons-now, there is a specimen of her
performances-just look!  The real truth is, Mrs.
Welch, that mother and you are the only women I
know of who can sew on a button worth a pin-just
the only two, by George! Nlow, there's Pierre de
Carradeaux, one of our young fellows down there —
his friends all live in Hiayti, or some other unknownl
and uninhabitable region, you know, over the sea
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124:    THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
I wish you could see his clothes! The way they
mend at the tailors!  But the darns in his stockings
are the funniest. Hie rooms with me, and so I hear
him talking to himself, in French. I am afraid he
swears, sometimes-but the way he fares is enough
to make a saint swear!" And then followed a detail that caused maminy to wipe her eyes in sympathy with this strange phase of human woe, in alternation with an occasional exclamation of amusement
-like, "You'll surely be the death of me, Master
Sidney!" apparently forced spasmodically from her
lips, despite the self-imposed taciturnity which, 1
shrewdly suspected, my presence created.
"Mother, my revered maternal primative, may 1
read you this anecdote?  Colonel, will you allow
me?"-a respectful glance at the book in my hand.
And  squeezing himself in from behind, by some
utterly inconceivable india-rubber pliancy, between
the fire and his much-enduring parent, the tall form
of the stripling slowly subsided until I could discern
nothing but a mass of wavy black hair reposing
amid the soft folds of his motler's morning-gown,
and a bit of his newspaper. Thus disposed, apparently to the entire satisfaction of all concerned, he
read:
"Once, while the celebrated John Kemble, the
renowned actor and acute critic, was still seated at
the dinner-table of an English nobleman, with whom
he had been dining, a servant announced that Mrs.
Kemble awaited her husband in a carriage at the
door   Some time elapsed, and the impersonator of 
'  TO POLITENESS AND  FASHION.
Shakspeare's mighty creations remained immovable.
At length the servant, re-entering, said'  MIrs. Kem.
ble bids me say, sir, that she is afraid of getting the
rheugnatiz.''Add ism,' replied the imperturbable
critic of language, and quietly continued his discourse
with his host."
"If I should ever be compelled to marry-which,
of course, I never shall unless you disinherit me,
mother, or mammy insists upon leaving us to keep
house for that handsome widower, in the long snuff
overcoat-[though  the  respectable  female  thus
alluded to did not even glance up from her stitching,
I plainly marked a little nod of virtuous defiance,
and a fluttering in the crimpings of the ample capborder, that plainly expressed desperation to the
hopes of the widower aforesaid]- but if fate s3/ould
decree my' attaining knowledge under difficulties,'
upon this subject, I hope I'll be a little too decent to
keep my wife sitting out doors in a London fog (I
shall mLkle a bridal tour to Europe, of course), while
I am imbibing, even with a' nobleman.' Speaking
of the tyranny of fate, I am, most reluctantly, compelled to deprive you of my refreshing conversation,
my dear and excellent mother. If my dilapidated
linen is restored to its virgin integrity: in other
words, if my shirt is done, I propose retiring to the
deepest shades of private life, and getting myself up,
without the slightest consideration for the financial
affairs of my honored masculine progenitor, for a
morning call upon,the fortunate youthful
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126     THE AtMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
beauty 1, at present, honor with my particular ado.
ration."  So saying, Sir Hopeful slowly emerged
from his'loop-hole of retreat,' and making a profound obeisance to his guardian spirit, and another
to me, a shade less lowly, he took himself off, with
his linen over his arm, and a grand parting flourish at
the door, with his hat upon his walking-stick, for the
especial benefit of his little brother, which elicited
a shout of unmingled admiration from the juvenile
spectators that need not have been despised by Herr
Alexander himself.
During dinner that day, as the varied and most
bountiful course of pastry, etc., was about to be
removed, young Sidney said:
"Mother, allow me to relieve you of the largest
half of that solitary-looking piece of mince-pie. I
am sorry I cannot afford to take the whole of it
under my protecting care."
" My  dear son," replied my hostess, pleasantly,
"let me suggest the attractions of variety. You
have already done your devoir to this pie. Your
father pronounces the cocoanut excellent "-and
then, as if in reply to the look of surprise that met
her good-humored sally, she added, in a tone meant
only for the ears of the youth, "this happens to be
the last, and mammy eats no other, you remember."
"No great matter, either; to-morrow will be baking-day. Now I know why you took none yourself,
mother," answered Sidney, cheerfully, in the same
" aside" manner; and the placid smile on the hospi 
ro POLrrITENESS AD FASHION.            127
table face of the'home-mother' alone acknowledged her recognition of the ascription of self-denial
to her; for it is not occasionally, but always, that
"In the clear heaven of her delightful eye,
An angel guard of loves and graces lie."
Adieu!
UNCL,E IAI.
k,
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128     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
LETTER V.
MANNER-PRACTICAL DIRECTIONS.
MY DEAR NEPIHEWS:
THOUGH good breeding is always and
everywhere essentially the same, there are phases of
daily life, especially demanding its exhibition.
-Manner in the street is one of these.
Even in hours most exclusively devoted to business, do not allow yourself to hurry along with a
clouded, absent face and bent head, as if you for ever
felt the foot of the earth-god on your neck! Carry
an erect and open brow into the very midst of the
heat and burden of the day. Take time to see your
friends, as they cross you in the busy thoroughfares
of life and, at least by a passing smile or a gesture
of recognition, give token that you are not resolved
into a mere money-making machine, and both will
be better for this fleeting manifestation of the inner
being.
During business hours and in crowded businessstreets no man should ever stop another, whom he
knows to be necessarily constantly occupied a# such
times, except upon a matter of urgent need, and then 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
if he alone is to be benefited by the detention, he
should briefly apologize and state his errand in as
few words as possible.
But the habit of a cheerful tone of voice, a cor  dial smile, and friendly grasp of the hand, when
meeting those with whom one is associated in social
life, is not to be regarded as unimportant.
If you do not intend to stop, when meeting a gen tleman friend, recognize him as you approach, by
a smile, and touching your hat salute him audibly
with-" Good morning, sir, or " I hope you are well,
sir," or (more familiarly), "Ah, Charley!- good
morning to you."  But don't say, " How d' ye do,
sir," when you cannot expect to learn, nor call back
as you pass, something that will cause him to linger,
uncertain what you say.
If you wish to stop a moment, especially in a
thoroughfare, retain the hand you take, while you re tire a little out of the human current; and never fall
into the absurdity of attempting to draw a tight or
moistened glove while another waits the slow process
It is better to offer the gloved hand as a rule, without
apology, in the street.
If you are compelled to detain a friend, when he
is walking with  a  stranger, briefly but politely
apologize to the stranger, and keep no one "in durance vile" longer than absolute necessity requires.
When thus circumstanced yourself, respond cheerfully and courteously to the apologetic phrase offered,
and, drawing a little aside, occupy yourself with anything beside the private conversation that interrupts
6*
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130     THE AMIERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
your walk.   Sometimes circumstances  render it
decorous to pass on with some courteous phrase, to
step into some neighboring bookseller's, etc., or to
make a rapid appointment for a re-union. Cultivate
the quick discernment, the ready tact, that will engender ease of marnner under those and similar circumstances requiring prompt action.
Never leave a friend suddenly in the street, either
to join another, or for any other reason, without an
apology; the briefest phrase, expressed in a cordial
tone, will suffice, in an emergency.
Upon passing servants, or other inferiors in station,
whom you wish to recognize, in the street, it is a good
practice, without bowing or touching the hat, to salute
them in a kindly voice.
When you meet a gentleman whom  you know,
walking with one or more ladies, with whom you are
not acquainted, bow with grave respect to them also.
Politeness requires that upon meeting ladies and
gentlemen together, with both of whom one is acquainted, that one should lift the hat as he approaches
them, and bowing first to the ladies, include the gentleman,in a sweeping motion, or a succeeding bow,
as the case permits. Should you stop, speak first to
the lady, but do not offer to shake hands with a
lady in full morning costume, should  your glove
be dark-colored or your hand uncovered. Again lift
your hat to each, in succession of ag,e or rank, as a
substitute for this dubious civility, with some play.
ful expression, as " I am sorry my glove is not quite
fresh, Mrs.-, but you need no assurance of my
z- - 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
being always the most devoted of your friends" or
admirers," or " Really, Miss -, you are so beau tifully dressed, and looking so charmingly, that I
dare not venture too near!"  And as you part, again
take your hat quite off, letting the party pass you,
and on the wall side of the street, if that be practic able.
In the street with other men, carefully give that
precedence to superior age or station which is so
becoming in the young, by taking the outer side of
the pavement, or that nearer the counter current,
as circumstances may make most polite. When you
give, or have an arm, carefully avoid all erratic move ments, and keep step,) like a well-trained soldier!
Towards ladies, in the streets, the most punctilious
observance of politeness is due.  Walking with them,
one should, of course, assume the relative position
best adapted to protect them from inconvenience or
danger, and carefully note and relieve them from the
approach of either. In attending them into a store,
&c., always- give them precedence, holding the door
open from without, if practicable. If compelled to
pass before them, to attend to this courtesy, say,
" allow me," or " with your permission," etc. Meet
ing ladies, the hat should l)e taken off as you bow,
and replaced when you have passed, or, if you
pause to address them, politely raised again as you
quit them.
When you are stopped by a lady friend in the
streets, at once place yourself so as best to shield
her from the throng, if you are in a crowd, or from
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132     THE AIIERIOAN GENTLEMAN 8 GUIDE
passing vehicles, etc., and never by your manner in.
dicate either surprise or embarrassment upon such an
occasion.   Allow her to terminate the interview,
and raise your hat quite off as you take leave ot her.
When a stranger lady addresses an inquiry to you
in the street, or when you restore something she
has inadvertently dropped, touch your hat ceremoniously, and with some phrase or accent of respect,
add grace to a civility.
If you have occasion to speak more than a word
or two to a lady whom you may meet in walking,
turn and acecompany her while you say what you
wish, and, taking off your hat, when you withdraw,
express your regret at losing the further enjoyment
of her society, or the like.
If you wish to join a lady whomn you see before you,
be careful in hurrying forward not to incommode her
(or others, indeed), and do not speak so hurriedly,
or loudly, as to startle her, or arrest attention) and
should you have only a slight acquaintance with her,
say, as you assume a position at her side, " With
your permission, madam, I will attend you," or
"Give me leave to join your walk, Miss — " etc.
Of course, no well-bred man ever risks the possibility of intrusion in this way, or ever speaks first
to a lady to whom he has only had a passing introduction. In the latter case, you look at a lady as
you advance towards her, and await her recognition.
Speaking of an intrusion, you should be well assured that you will not make an awkward third before you venture to attach vourself to a lady and 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
gentleman walking together, though you may even
know them very well; and the same rule holds good
in a picture-gallery, rococo-shop, or elsewhere, when
two persons, or a party, sit or walk together.
Every man is bound by the laws of courtesy, to note
any street accident that imperils ladies, and at once
to hasten to render such service as the occasion re* quires. Promptitude and self-possession may do good
service to humanity and the fair, at such a juncture.
Should you observe ladies whom you know, unat tended by a gentleman, alighting from or entering a
carriage, especially if there is no footman, and the
driver maintains his seat, at once advance, hold the
door open, and offer your hand, or protect a dress
from the wheel, or the like, and bowiig,pass on, all
needed service rendered; or, if more familiarity and
your own wish sanction it, accompany them where
they may chance to be entering.
1No general rule can be laid down respecting offer ing the arm to ladies in the street. Where persons
are known and reside habitually, local custom will
usually be the best guide. At night, the arm should
always be tendered, and so in ascending the multiplied steps of a public building, etc., for equally
obvious reasons.   For similar cause, you go before
ladies into church, into a crowded concert-room, etc.,
wherever, in short, they are best aided in securing
seats, and escaping jostling, by this precedence of
them. When attending a stranger lady, in visiting the
noted places of your own city, or the like, and when
one of a party for a long walk, or of travellers, it may
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134     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMANiS GUIDE
often be an imperative civility to proffer the arm.
To relatives, or elderly ladies, this is always a proper
courtesy, as it is to every woman, when you can thus
most effectually secure her safety or her comfort.
Do not forget, when-walking with elderly people,
or ladies, to moderate the headlong speed of your
usual step.
I will here enter my most emphatic protest against*
a practice of which ladies so justly complain,the too-frequent rudeness of men in stationing themselves at the entrance of churches, concert-rooms,
opera houses, etc., for the express purpose, apparently, of staring every modest woman who may
chance to enter, out of countenance. No one possessed of true good-breeding will indulge in a
practice so at variance with propriety. If occasion
demands your thus remaining stationary upon the
steps, or in the portico, of a public edifice, make
room, at once, for ladies who may be entering, and
avoid any appearance of curiosity regarding them.
A similar course is suitable when occupying a place
upon the steps, or at the windows of a pump-room,
at a watering-place, or of a hotel. Carefully avoid
all semblance of staring at ladies passing in the
street, alighting from a carriage, etc., and make no
comment, even of a complimentary nature, in a voice
that can possibly reach their ears. So, when walking in the street, if beauty or. grace attract your
attention, let your regard be respectful, and, even
then, not too fixed.  An audible comment or excla
mation, addressed to a companion, a laugh, a fami 
TO POLITENESS A ND FASHION.
liar stare, are each and all, when any stranger, and
more especially a woman,, is the subject of them,
unhandsome, in the extreme.
Breakfasting, one morning, at West Point, with an
agreeable Portuogese, we chatted for some time over
the newspapers and our coffee, as we sat within view
of one of the most beautiful landscapes it has ever
been my fortune to behold. At length our uAi.erican indulgence in this respect, became the
theme of conversation between us.
"Pardon  nme," said the elegant foreigner, " but
though  tihe Americans  are  very kind-a  very
pleasant people, they do not take enough of time for
these things, at all.   They  do not only eat in a
hurry, but they even pass their friends in the street,
sometimes, without spea k ing to them!  I remember
last winter, in Philadelphia, where I was some
months, I met one day, in Chestnut street, a gentleman whom I knew very well, and he passed me
without speaking.  I made up my  mind  at once,
that this shall not happen again, so the next time
I saw him coming, I looked into a shop window,
or at somethling, and did not see him.  Hie came to
me and said-" Good  morning, Mlr. A —! what
is the matter with you, that you do not speak to
me?" or something like that. I answered, that he
had cut me in the street (I think that is what you
call it!) two or three days before, and that I never
will permit myself to be treated in this manner
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136     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
Then hlie said, that I must excuse him, that he must
have been iU bFusitess and did not see me, and so
on.  But this is not the way of a gentleman in my
country!"
You must imagine for yourselves the double effect,
lent to the words of my companion by his foreigr
action and imperfect pronunciation, and the slight
curl of his dark moustache as he emphasized the
words I have underscored.
"What a haruin-scarum fellow that James Con
don is!" exclaimed a young lady, in my hearing.
"I had reason to repent declining to drive to the
concert last night, I assure you!  Thle moon, upon
which I had counted, was obscured, and he not only
hurried me along (though we had plenty of time,
as I was quite ready when he came), at breathless
speed, but actually dragged me over a heap of
rubbish, in crossing the street, upon which I nearly
tumbled down, though I had his arm. When we
reached the place, I was so heated and flurried that
I could not half enjoy the music, and this morning
I find not only that my handsome new boots are
completely spoiled, but that I have any quantity of
lime upon the bottom  of the dress I wore, and my
pretty fanl, which hlie must needs insist uplon carry.
ing for me, sadly broken!"'
0n 
Tro POLITENESS AND FASHION.
"I have seen everything and everybody I wish,
in London, except the Duke of Wellington," said
a sprightly lady whose early morning walk past
Apsley House-the town residence of the Iron
Duke-I was attending some years since, "every
distinguished man, except the Ilero of Waterloo.
I hope I shall not lose that pleasure!"
"You may have that pleasure now, madam!"
exclaimed a gentleman, passing us and rapidly walk;
ing forward, in whose erect figure and very narrow
brimmed hat, I at once recognized the object of my
companion's hitherto unsatisfied curiosity.
Strolling in Kensington Park, during that same
morning, and at an hour too unfashionably early for
a crowd, with my fair charge, I drew her gently aside,
as she leaned on my arm, from some slight obstruction
in our path, which she did not observe, and which
might otherwise have incommoded her.
"Really Colonel Lunettes," said she, " your watchful politeness reminds me of my dear father's. You
gentlemen of the old school so much surpass modern
beaux in courtesy! I well remember the last walk
I had in Broadway with papa, before we sailed.
MIrs. W      and I were making a morning visit,
quite up town for us Brooklynites-in UJnion Place,
upon a bride, when who should also arrive but papa.
When we took leave, he accompanied us, and finding
that we had taken a fancy to walk all the way to the
ferry, insisted upon  going with us-only think,
at his age, and so luxurious in his habits, too! As
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138     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
he is a little hard of hearing, and likes always to
talk with Mrs. We —, who is a great favorite of
his, I insisted upon his walking between us-that I
might have his arm, and yet not interfere with his conversation. This, of course, brought me on the outside.
But I cannot describe to you the watchiful care he
had for me, all the way. At the slightest crowding
hie held me so firmly-saw every swerve of the
vehicles towards us, and would hold my dress away
from every rough box  or so, that lumbered  the
sidewalk, and every now and then he would say'Minnie, wouldn't you be more comfortable on my
other arm? I am afraid you will be hurt there!'  At
the Brooklyn ferry he was to leave us, as he could
not go over to dine that day.   Seeing a crowd at
the door of the office, he hastened a little before us
to pay the fare, and then saw us safely through the
press, taking leave of me as politely as of Mrs.
W-A.'What an elegant gentleman your father
is!' cried out Mrs. W —, as soon as he was gone,
' he always reminds me of the descriptions we read
of the chivalrous courtesy of knights of olden time;
it is like listening to a heroic ballad to be with
him, and receive his politeness,  I know you won't
laugh at me, Colonel, when I say that the memory
of that simple incident is still as fresh in my heart,
as though no ocean voyage  and long travel had
come between; and I can truly say that I was
prouder of my cavalier attendant that day, than I
ever was of all the young men together, who ever
walked Broadway, with me.' Tlhe tremulous tones.
i 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
the glistening eyes, and the glowing cheeks of the
the fair young speaker attested the truth of her
filial boast, and I-but you must draw your own
morals!"
Presently we resumed our chat, and the theme of
the moment together.
"I well recollect," said my companion, in the
course of our discussion, " the impression produced
upon me, in my girlhood, by the manners of a young
gentleman, who was my groomsman at the wedding
of a young friend. Some of the lessons of good.
breeding taught me by his example, I shall never
forget, I think. I was the most bashful creature in
the world, at that time, and he quite won my heart
by the politeness with which he set me at ease, at
once, when he came to take me away in a carriage
to join my young friends. But that was not the
point: the next morning after the wedding, we were
all to attend the'happy pair' as far as Saratoga, on
their wedding-tour; that is, the bridesmaids and
bridesmen. At Schenectady, we were put into an
old-fashioned car, divided into compartments. Just
as we were about to start, a singularly tall, gaunt,
Yankeefied-looking elderly woman scrambled into
our little box of a place, and seated herself. We
were fairly off, before she seemed fully to realize the
trials of her new position.  She did not say, in the
language of the popular song,
' I think there must be danger
'Mong so many sparks!'
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140     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
but she looked as though she feared having fallen
among the Philistines; and, I am ashamed to say
that some of our merry party made no scruple of privately amusing themselves with her peculiarities of
dress and manner. Mr. Henry, however (my grooms
man), addressed some polite remarks to her, in so grave
and respectful a manner as soon to convince her of his
sincerity, and as carefully watched the sparks that
fell upon her thick worsted gown, as those that annoyed the rest of us. At the first stopping-place, you
may be very sure that the unwilling intruder was in
haste to change her seat.
"'Do you wish to get out, madam!' inquired Mfr.
Henry;' allow me to help you;' and bounding out,
he assisted her down the high step, as carefully and
respectfully as though she were some high dame of
rank and fashion. I am afraid that, though I did
not actually join in the merriment of my thoughtless
firiends, I deserved the sting of conscience that served
to fasten this little incident so firmly in my remnembrance.  Perhaps I was, for this reason, the more
impressed by another proof of the ever-ready politeness of this gentleman, who made such an impression
upon my girlish fancy. We dined at Ballston, on
our way to Saratoga, and after dinner, I asked Mfr.
Henry, with whom, in spite of my first awe of his
superiority of years and polish, I began to feel quite
at ease, to run down with me to one of the Springs,
for a glass of water, before we should resume our
journey. So he good-naturedly left the gentlemen
(now I know that he may have wished to smoke)
4.
I 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
together at the table, and accompanied me. But
now for my denoudment.  Just as we were in a narrow place, between a high, steep bank and the track,
the cars came rushing towards us.  In an instant,
uicke~ than thought, Mr. Henry had transferred me
from the arm next the cars-because more removed
from the edge of the bank —to the other arm, thus
placing his person between me and any passing danger, and with such a quiet, re-assuring manner! You
smile, Colonel-but, really-well, you see what an
impression it made upon my youthful sensibilities!"
"Oh, girls, such a charming adventure as I had
this evening!" exclaimed Margaret, as a bevy of fair
young creatures clustered together before the fire in
a drawing-room where I was seated after dinner, with
my newspaper. Mly attention was arrested by the
peculiar animation with which these words were pronounced, and I glanced at the group, over the top of
my spectacles. They reminded me of so many brilliant-hued butterflies, in their bright-colored winter
dresses, and with their light, wavy motions as they
settled themselves, one on a pile of cushions, others
on a low ottoman, and two pretty fairies on the
hearth-rug, each uttering some exclamation of grati
fication at the prospect of amusement.
" Now,  don't expect anything extraordinary or
dreadful, you silly creatures; I have no'hair-breadth
'scapes by land or sea' to entertain you with. Can't
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142    THE AMERIOAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
one have a' charming adventure,' and yet have no
thing to tell."
" But do tell us all there is to tell, dear Miss -
Do, please, this very moment," entreated one of the
fairies, linking her arms around her companion, and
mingling her golden ringlets with the darker locks of
the head upon which her own lovingly rested. And
a little concert of similar pleadings followed. This
prelude over, the tantalizing adventuress began:
" Before I went over to New York this morning,
I wrote a little note to Mary Bostwick, telling her all
about our arrangements for the Christmas-tree, and
charging her not to fail to come to us on Christmas
eve, and all about it, for fear that, as I had so much
to accomplish, I might not be able to go up to
Twenty-third street, and return home in time to meet
you all here.  Mly plan was to keep it until I was
decided, and then, if obliged to send it, to put it in
one of the City Express letter-boxes. Well, by the
time I was through with all my important errands,
it was time for me to turn my steps homeward. So,
happening last at Tiffany's, to get the-I mean, I
asked at Tiffany's for one of the places where a box
is kept in that neighborhood, and was told that
there was one in a druggist's, quite near-just above.
Hurrying along, I must have passed the place, and
stopped somewhere not far below'Taylor's,' to see
exactly where I was. Time was flying, and it was
really almost growing dark; so I ventured to inquire
of a gentleman who was passing, though an entire
stranger, for the druggist's.
I 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
"I think it is below, near the Astor lHouse," said
he, with such an appearance of interest as to embolden me to mention what I was in search of.
"If that is all," he replied, "I dare say there is
one nearer.  Let me see," glancing around, " I think
there is one on the opposite corner-I will see."
" I have no right to give you that trouble, sir,"
said I.
"Yes you have-it is what every man owes to
your sex."
"You are very good, sir; but I am sure I can
make the inquiry for myself."
" No, it is a tavern, where you cannot properly
go alone! Remain here, and I will ascertain for
you.'
Before I could repeat my thanks, the gentleman
was half across the street.
HIoping to facilitate matters, I followed him to
the opposite pavement, and stood where he would
observe me upon coming out of the door I had seen
him enter. I held the note and my porte-monnaie
ready in my hand.
" There is a box here," said my kind friend,
returning, " if you will intrust me with your letter,
I will deposit it for you."
" You are very good, sir; I would like to pay it,"
I answered, opening my porte-monnaie.
He took the letter quickly, and prevented my
intended offer of the postage so decidedly, that I did
not dare insist. But, by this time, I really could not
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144     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
refrain fromn the expression of more than an ordinary
acknowledgment:
"I have to thank you, sir," said I, " not only for
a real kindness to a stranger, but for a pleasant
z.?,emory, which I shall not soon lose.  Such courtesy
is too unusual to be soon forgotten!'I iow far one
little candle sometimes throws its rays!'-many
thanks and good evening, sir!"
I had still one more errand in Canal street, but I
stayed on the "unfashionable side" of the street, and
went up, to avoid the awkwardness of re-crossing
with the gentleman, and the possibility of imposing
any further tax upon his politeness-bless him! I
wasn't half as weary after I met him, and my heart
has been in a glow ever since!
Bravo!"  "1Bravissimo!"  echoed  round  the
room, in various waves of silvery sound.
"Is that all, Miss?" inquired the only boy of
the party, unless you except the approach to second
childhood ensconced behind the newspaper, and
now acting the amiable part of rep)orter, for your
benefit.
"All, unless I add that I occasionally glanced cautiously over, to catch the form of my kind friend, as I
hurried along, that I might not again cross his path;
but I did not' calculate' successfully after all; for,
as I ran across Broadway, at Canal street corner, he
was a little nearer than I had expected. I bowed
slightly, and hurried on:-but wasn't it beautifil?
Such chivalrous sentiments towards women:' It is
what we all owe your sex!' And his manner was 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
more expressive than his words-so gentle and quiet!
No stage effect".
"But you quoted Shakespeare," insinuated a
pretty piece of malice on the ottoman.
"I couldn't help it, if I did!  I was surprised out
.pf the use of ordinary language by an extraordinary
occasion. If you are going to ridicule me, I shall
be sorry I told you; for it is one of the pleasantest
things that has happened to me in a great while!
There was I, in my iicognito-dress, as I call it, weary
and pale, nothing about me to attract interest, I am
sure! I wish such men were more common in this
world, they would elevate the race!"
" I declare, cousin AIaggie, you are growing enthusiastic! I haven't seen such beaming eyes and such
a brilliant color for a long time! Was this most
gallant knight of yours a young gentleman, may
I ask "
The lady thus questioned seemed to reflect a
moment before she replied:
"If you mean to inquire whether he was a whiskered, moustached  67gant, inot a bit of it!  I
should not have addressed such a man in the street.
On the contrary, he was "
". Married, I am afraid!" interrupted pretty mischief on the ottoman, giggling behind her next
neighbor.
"I dare say he may have been," pursued the narrator, quietly. " No very young man, even if he had
wished to be polite to a stranger neither young nor
beautiful, which is very doubtful, would have exhi
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146     TIIE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GLUIDE
bited the graceful self-possession and easy politeness
of this gentleman -he was, probably going to his
home in the upper part of the city after a businessday. As I remember his dress, though, of course,
I had no thought about it at the time, it was the
simple, unnoticeable attire of an American gentleman
when engaged in business occupations-everything
about him, as I recall his presence, was in keepingunostentatious, quiet, appropriate!   I shall  long
preserve his portrait in my picture-gallery of memory, and I am proud to believe that he is my own
countryman!"
Cousin -Maggie always says," remarked one of
her auditors, "that Americans are the most truly
polite men she has met "  "Yes," returned the enthusiast, "though some
times wanting in mere surface-polish
'Where e'er I roam, whatever lands I see,
My heart, untrammelled, fondly turns to' -
my own dear, honored countrymen-more truly chivalrous, more truly jlist towards our sex, than the
men of any other land! I never yet appealed to
one of them for aid, for courtesy, as a wvoman, and
as a woman should, in vain. And I never, scarcely,
am so placed as to have occasion for kindness-real
kindness-without receiving it, unasked.  The other
day, for instance, caught in a sudden shower, I stood
waiting for a stage,' down town,' in Broadway.
There was such a jam that I was afraid to try and
get into one that stopped quite near the sidewalk.
0 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
A policeman, at that moment, asked me whether I
wished to get in, and, holding my arm, stepped over
the curb with me.' I don't know what the ladies
would do withlout the aid of your corps, sometimes,
in these crowds,' said I.
"' If the ladies will accept our services, we are
proud, madam,' answered he.
"' I am very glad to do so,' returned I; and well
I might, for, at that instant, as I was on the point of
setting my foot on the step of the omnibus, the horse
attached to a cart next behind suddenly started forward, and left no space between his head and the
door of the stage. I shrunk back, as you may imagine, and said I would walk, in spite of the rain.
But the policeman encouraged me, and called out to
the carman to fall back. At that instant, I observed
a gentleman come out upon the step of the stage.
With a single imperious gesture, and the sternest
face, he drove back the horse, and springing into
the omnibus, held the door open with one hand, and
extended the other to me. To be sure, the policeman almost pinched my arm in two, in his effort to
keep me safe, but I was, at last, seated with whole
bones and a grateful heart, at the side of my brave,
kind champion. As soon as I recovered breath, I
was cur'ious to see again the face whose expression
had arrested my attention (of course, I did not wait
for breath to thank him), and to note the external
characteristics of a man who would impulsively render such service to a woman like Charles Lamb(dear, gentle Charles Lamb!) holding his umbrella
147 
148     THE AMERIAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
over.the head of a washerwoman, because she waspa
woman!  Well, my friend was looking straight be.
fore him, apparently wholly unconscio()us of the existence of the trembling being he had so humanely
befiiended, with the most impenetrable face imaginable, and a sort of abstracted manner. Presently I
desired to open the window behind me-still not
quite recovered firom my fright and flutter. Almost
before Tny hand was on the glass, my courteous
neighbor relieved me of my task. Again I rendered
cordial thanks, and again, as soon as delicacy permitted, glanced furtively at the face beside me.
Nothing to reward my scrutiny was there revealed;
the same absorbed, fixed expression, the same seeming unconsciousness! But can you doubt that a
noble, manly nature was veiled beneath that calm
face and quiet manner-a nature that would gleam
out in an instant, should humanity prompt, or
wrong excite? And I could tell you numberless
such anecdotes-all illustrative of my favorite
theory."
"So could we all," said another lady, "I have no
doubt, if we only remembered them."
"I never forget anything of that kind," returned
Margaret.  "It is to me like a strain of fine music,
acted poetry, if I may use such a phrase. Such incidents make, for me, the poetry of real life, indeed I
They inspire in my heart,
"' The still, stweet music of humanity."' 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
One magnificent moonlight night, while I was in
Rome with your cousins and the W —s, a party
was formed to visit the Coliseum. That whimsical
creature, Grace, whom I had more than once detected
in a disposition to fall behind the rest of the company,
as we strolled slowly through the ruins, at length
stole up to me, as I paused a little apart from the
group, and twining her arm within mine, whispered
softly:
" Do, dear Uncle Hial, come this way with me for
a few moments!"
Yielding to the impulse she gave me, we were
presently disengaged from our companions, and,
leaning, as if by mutual agreement, against a pillar.
" What a luxury it is to be quiet!" exclaimed your
cousin, with a sigh of relief. "i How that little Alia3
B       doe8 chatter!  Really it is profanation to
think or speak of common things to-night, and here 1'"
" Well, my fair Epicurean," returned I, " since
-"' Silence, like a poultice comes
To heal the blows of sound,'
you shall reward me for mny indulgence in attending
you, by repeating some of Byron's apropos lines.
for me as we stand here "  " At your pleasure, dear uncle."
Presently she began, in a subdued tone, as if afraid
of disturbing the dreams of another, or as if half
listening while she spoke to the tread of those
149 
150     THE AMERIOAN GENTLEMAN S GUID)E
'Whose distant footsteps echo
Through the corridors of Time;'
but gradually losing all consciousness, save that of
the inspiration of the bard, our fair enthusiast reached
a climax of eloquence with the words
'The azure gloom
Of an Italian night, where the deep skies assume
Hues which have words, and speak to ye of Heaven,
Floats o'er this vast and wondrous monument,'
and she stretched out her arm, with an impulsive
gesture, as she spoke.  I perceived a sudden recoil,
at the instant, of her dilating form, and, before
I could devise an explanation, heard the words,
"You are my prisoner, madam," and discovered a
gentleman standing in the deep shadow of the pillar,
close at her side, busily endeavoring to disentangle
the fringe of her shawl from the buttons of his coat.
I remembered, afterwards, having noticed in passing, sometime before, a shadowy figure standing with
folded arms and upturned face, half lost in the deep
shadow of a pillar, apparently quite unconscious of
the vicinity of the chattering ephemera fluttering by
his retreat. I at once surmised that Grace and I had
approached from the other side, and inadvertently stationed ourselves near this asthetical devotee-so near
that your cousin, in the excitement of her eloquence,
had fastened a lasso upon the dress of the stranger.
"You are my prisoner, madam," he said, in French.
The words were simple enough, not so apposite but 
TO POLI rENESS AND FASHION.
that many an one might have uttered them under
similar circumstances. Yet they were replete with
meaning, conveyed by the subtle aid of intonation
and of manner. The most chivalrous courtesy, the
most exquisite refinement, were fully expressed in
that brief sentence.
"I have no fears either for my purse, or my life,"
returned the quick witted lady thus addressed, aiding
in the required disentanglement.
"You need have none," rejoined the gentleman,
"though the laws of chivalry entitle me to demand a
goodly ransom for so fair a prize "-glancing politely
towards me.
" Accept, at least, the poor guerdon of this token
of my thanks," said the enthusiast of the moment,
tendering a beautiful flower, which was opportunely
loosened from her bosom by the slight derangement
of her dress.
"It will be a treasured memento," answered the
stranger, receiving the proffered gift with graceful
respect, and, bowing with the most courtly deference,
he walked rapidly away, as loth, by lingering one
needless moment, to seem intrusive.
"What a voice!" exclaimed Grace, as the retreating figure disappeared behind the fragment of a
fallen column, " blithe as the matin tone of a lark,
and"  "Clear as the note of the clarion that startled you
so upon the Appian Way, the other day," I suggested, "and indeed, I am not sure that there was
not a little tremor in your fingers, this time, my brave
15i 
152     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
lady, and that you did not hold just a little tighter
fast the arm of your old uncle."
"What nonsense, Uncle Hal! -could anything
be more delicately reassuring-admitting that I was
startled, at first,-than the whole bearing of the
gentleman?"
"Should you know him again?" I questioned.
"I think I should, were it only by the diamondhe
wore," she replied, with a little laugh at the woman's
reason.' Did you observe it uncle, as his inacintosh was opened by the pulling of that silly fringereally it might grace the crescent of Dian herself,
on a gala-night-it was a young star! but I also saw
his face distinctly as he raised his hat."
Well, now for the denoument of my story-for
every romantic adventure should properly have a
d?enouAent.
As we were all riding on the Campagna a fe w
days afterwards, the usual intimation was given of
the approach of the cortege of the Pope.  Of course
we went through the mummery of withdrawing,
while the poor old man was hurried along in his airing.   Standing thus together, a party of gentlemen
rode rapidly up, and, recognizing some of our party,
joined us.
Scarcely were the usual greetings over, when
Grace, reining her horse near me, said, in a low tone:
" Uncle, there is the' bright particular star' of the
other night in the Coliseum; I know I am not mistaken."
And so it proved-the polished, gracefal stranger 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
was not a Prince incognito, not even an acreless
count, whose best claim to respect consisted in hereditary titles and courtly manners, but a young ATnericar artist, full of activity, enthusiasm, and genius,
who had not forgotten to give beauty to the casket,
because it enshrined a gemn of high value.
Aptropos of gems-I afterwards learned that the
superb brilliant he always wore on his breast was a
token of the gratitude of a distinguished and munificent patron and friend, for whom this child of feeling and genius had successfully incarnated all that
was earthly of one loved and lost.
We subsequently became well acquainted with our
gifted countryman, and a right good fellow he proved.
We met him constantly in society, while at Florence
-the Italian Paradise of Americans, as Miss
always called it-where his genial manners, the type
of a genial nature, made him a general favorite, as
well with natives as foreigners.
Soon after he was named to me that day or the
Campagna, your cousin, who had again moved  -om
my side, turned her face towards us. The move.lent
arrested the attention of my companion-he glanced
inquiringly at me.
"I think I am not mistaken, sir; have we not met
before." and the safne exquisite courtesy illumined
his face that had so impressed me previously. " May
I ask the honor of a presentation to my sometime
prisoner?"
" Really, sir," I overheard Grace confessing, in hex
sprightliest tones, as, the two parties uniting for the
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154     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
nonce, we all rode on together; "really, sir, I re.
member to have been secretly rejoiced at having left
my heart, watch, and other valuables, safely locked
up at home, when I found myself in such a dangerous-looking neighborhood."
"And Istill indulge the regirt that my profession
did not fully entitle me to retain possession, not only
of the shawl, which, no doubt, was a camel's hair
of unknown value, but of the embodied poetry it
enwrapped."
"You seem quite to overlook the fact that I was
guarded, like a damsel of old, by a doughty knight."
I wish I could half describe the dextrous twirl of
the moustache, and the quickly-shadowed brow that
suddenly transformed that luminous anld honest face
into that of the dark, moody brigand, as, fumbling
in his bosom the while, as about to unsheath a dagger, he growled, in mock-heroic manner-'" It were
easy to find means to silence such an opponent, with
such a reward in view!"
The merry laugh with which Grace received this
sally, proved that she,"'at least, liked the versatility
of manner possessed by her gallant attendant.
Touching the electric chain of memory, causes
another link to vibrate, and I am reminded of my promise, made in a former letter, to tell you about the
American girl whose beautiful arm threw Powers
into raptures.
0 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
You will, perhaps, recollect that I alluded to my
having met abroad the heroine of the cornelinpan te
anecdote. I assure you, I had ample occasion, more
than once, to be proud of my lovely countrywoman,
in the most distinguished European circles-and by
that term I do not refer to distinction created by
mere rank. But to my tale:
One day, during our mutual sojourn in her wellnamed Italian" Paradise," Miss, and her father,
in accordance with a previous arrangement, called
at my lodgings, to take me with them to a dinner at
the Palace de.
" I propose, as we have purposely come early, Col.
Lunettes, in the hope of finding you at leisure, that
we shall drop in at Powers' studio, a few minutes;
it is in our direct way, and he will be there, as I
happen to know. I so wish to know your impression
of papa's bust."
While I was enjoying a chat with the presiding
genius of the scene, a little apart from a group
gathered about some object of peculiar interest, a
sudden glow of enthusiasm lighted his eye, as with
Promethean fire.
"Heavens, what an arm!" exclaimed Powers.
"Oh, for the art to petrify it!" he added, with an
expressive gesture, the furore of the artist rapidly
enkindling.
Following the direction of his glance, I beheld
what might well excite admiration in a less discriminating spectator.   The  velvet mantle that  had
shrouded the gala-dress of Miss       having fallen
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156     THE AM3ERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
from her shoulders, disclosed the delicate beauty of
the uncovered arm and hand, which she was eagerly
extending towards the marble before her.
" Remain just as you now stand, for a moment,"
said I, "and let me see what I can do for you."
"liss," I asked, advancing towards my fair
friend, " will you let me invite your attention to this
new study? It is entitled' The Artist's Prayer,' and
is supposed to impersonate the petition,'Petrify it,
0, ye gods!'"
Of course, this led to a brief and laughling explanation.
Hlappily, no earthly Powers can achieve that
transformation!" exclaimed the Lucifer of the Coliseum, who was present, " but all will join in the
entreaty that we may be permitted to possess an
imitation of so beautiful an original."
I am not permitted to disclose the secrets of the
inner temple; but many of you will yet behold the
loveliness that so charmed the lovers of art, mouldled
into eternal marble. 
ro POLITENESS AND FASHION.
LETTER VI.
MANNER, CONTINUED.
RULES FOR VISITING, AND FOR  MANNER  IN SOCIETY
GENERALLY.
MY DE-AR NEPIHEWS:
IAVING attempted, in my last two letters,
with what success you will best judge, to give you
some practical hints respecting manner at home and
in the street, suppose we take up, next, the consideration of the conduct proper in Visiting, and on
public occasions, generally.
Among the minor obligations of social life, perhaps few things are regarded as more formidable by
the unpractised, than ceremonious  morning visits to
ladies. And perhlaps, among the simple occurrences
of ordinary existence, few serve more fully to illustrate individual tact, self-possession, and conversational skill.
Without aiming at much method in so doing, I
will endeavor to furnish you with a few directions
of general applicability.
Hours for making morning calls are somewhat
varied by place and circumnstance; but, as a rule,
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158     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
twelve o'clock is the earliest hour at which it is
admissible to make  a visit of ceremony.   From
that time until near the prevailing dinner-hour, in a
small town, or that known to be such in particular
instances, one may suit one's convenience.
It is obviously unsuitable, usually, to prolong an
interview of this kind beyond a very moderate
length, and hence, as well as for other reasons, the
conversation should be light, varied, and appropriate
to outward circumstances.
It is proper to send your card, not only to
announce yourself to strangers to whom you may
wish to pay your respects, but to all ladies with
whom you are not upon very intimate terms, and
at a private house, to designate intelligibly to the
servant who receives your card, the individual, or
the several persons, whom you wish to see.
If you go to a hotel, etc., for this purpose, write the
name of the lady or ladies, for whom your visit is
designed, upon your card, above your own name, in
a legible manner, and await the return of the messenger, to whom you intrust it, where you part from
him. If, upon his return, you are to remain for
your friends, and there be a choice of apartments
for that purpose, unless you choose to station yourself within sight of the stairs they must of need
descend, or the corridor through which they must
pass, let the porter in attendance distinctly understand
not only your name, but where you are to be found,
and if possible, give him some clue to the identifica.
tion of the friends you wish to see.  After a few 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
vexatious mistakes and misapprehensions, you will
admit the wisdom of these precautionary measures, I
have no doubt. When you are shown into the drawing-room of a private residence, if the mistress of the
mansion is present, at once advance towards her.
Sliould she offer her hand, be prompt to receive it,
and for this purpose, takle your hat, stick, and righthand glove (unless an occasion of extreme ceremony
demands your wearing the latter), in your left hand,
as you enter. If your hostess does not offer her
hand, when she rises to receive you, simply bow, as
you pay your compliments, and take the seat she
designates, or that the servant places for you. When
there are other ladies of the same family present,
speak to each, in succession, according to age, or
other proper precedence, before you seat yourself.
If there are ladies in the room whom you do not
know, bow slightly to them, also, and if you are
introduced, after you have assumed a seat, rise and
bow to them. When men are introduced, they usually mutually advance and shake hands; but the
intimation that this will be agreeable to her, should
always be the test when you are presented to a lady,
or when you address a lady acquaintance.
Some tact is necessary in deciding your move
ments whei you find yourself preceded by other
visitors, in making a morning call.  If you have no
special reason, as a message to deliver, or an
appointment to make, for lingering, and discover
that you are interrupting a circle, or when you are
in the midst of strangers, where the conversation
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160     THE  AMERICAN GENTLEMANIS GUIDE
dloes not at once become general, upon your making
one of them, address a few polite phrases to your
hostess, if you can do so with ease and propriety
from your position with regard to her, and take
leave, approaching her nearly enough, when you
rise to go, to make your adieu audible, or to receive
her hand, should she offer it.  To strangers, even
when you have been introduced, you, ordinarily, only
bow passingly, as you are about to quit the room.
Should you have a special object in calling upon
a lady, keep it carefully in view, that you may
accomplish it before you leave her presence.  When
other visitors, or some similar circumstance, interfere
with the accomplishment of your purpose, you may
write what you wish upon a card in the hall, as you
go out, and intrust it to a servant, or leave a message
with him, or in case of there being objections to
either of those methods of communication, resort to
an appointment requested through him, or subsequently write a note to that effect, or containing an
explanation of the object of your visit. When you
determine to outstay others at a morning reception,
upon the rising of ladies to depart, you rise  also,
under all circumstances; and when they are acquaintances, and unattended by a gentleman, accompany
them to the street-door, and to their carriage, if they
are driving, and then return to your hostess. Unacquainted, you simply stand until ladies leave thie
room, politely returning their parting salutation, if
they make one. Any appearance of a wish on tho
part of those whom you chance to meet thus, for an 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
aside conversation, will, of course, suggest the pro  priety of occupying yourself Luntil-your hostess is at
leisure, with some subject of interest in the room  turn to a picture, open a book, examine some article
of bijo,uterie, and, thus civilly unobtrusive, observe
* only when it is proper for you to notice the separa  tion of the company.
As I have before said, in making a visit of mere
politeness, some passing topic of interest should suc  ceed  the courteous inquiries, etc., that naturally
commence the conversation. Visiting a lady prac  tised in the usages of society, relieves one, very
naturally, from any necessity for leading the conver  sation.
When your object is to make an appointment,
give an invitation, etc., repeat the arrangement
finally agreed upon, distinctly and deliberately, upon
rising to go away, that both parties may distinctly
understand it, beyond the possibility of mistake.
In attending ladies who are making morning visits,
it is proper to assist them up the steps, ring the bell,
write cards, etc. Entering, always follow them into
the house and into the drawing-room, and wait until
they have finished their salutations, unless you have
to perform the part of presenting them. In that
case, you enter with them, or stand within the door
u-ntil they have entered, and advance beside them
into the apartment.
Ladies should always be the first to rise, in termi  iating a visit, and when they have made their adieu;,
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162     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
their cavaliers repeat the ceremony, and follow them
out.
When gentlemen call together, the younger, or
least in rank, gives careful precedence to others,
rendering them courtesies similar to those due to
ladies.
Soiled over-shoes, or wet over-garments, should,
on no account, be worn into an apartment devoted
to the use of ladies, unless they cannot be safely left
outside-as in the passage of a public house. In
such case, by no means omit an apology for the
necessary discourtesy.
When ladies are not in the apartment where you
are to pay your respects to them, advance to meet
them upon their entrance; and in the public room
of a hotel, meet them as near the door as possible,
especially if there is no gentleman with them, or
the room be previously occupied, and conduct them
to seats.
Never remain seated in the company of ladies
with whom you are ceremoniously associated, while
they are standing. Follow them to any object of
interest to which they direct your attention; place
a seat for them, if much time will be required for
such a purpose; ring the bell, bring a book; in
short, courteously relieve them from whatever may
be supposed to involve effort, fatigue, or discomfort
of any kind. It is, for this reason, eminently suitable
to offer the arm to ladies when ascending stairs.
Nothing is more absurd than the habit of preceding 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
them adopted by some men as if by following just
behind, as one should, if the arm is disengaged,
there can be any violation of propriety. Soiled frills
or unriendcled hose must have originated this vulgarity! Tender the armin on the wall side of a lady,
mounting a stairs, that she may have the benefit of
the railing, and the fewer steps upon a landing; and
in assistilng an invalid, or aged person, it is often
well to keep one step in advance.  It is always
decorous to suit your pace to those you would
assist.
It is also a proper courtesy, always to relieve
ladies of their parcels, parasols, shawls, etc., when
ever this will conduce to their convenience, which
is especially the case, of course, when they are
occupied with the care of their dresses in ascending
steps, entering a carriage, or passing through a
crowd.
The rules of etiquette  properly observable In
making ordinary ceremonious morning-visits, are
also applicable to: ~orqt,qIg Wedding —Receoptons with
slight variations.  Of course, you do not then announce yourself by a card. When previously acquainted with her, you advance immediately to the
bride, and offer your wishes for I/erfuture /appiness.
Never congratuate a lady upon her marriage; such
felicitations  are, with good taste, tendered to the
bridegroom, not to the bride.
Having  paid  your compliments to the bride,
vou shake hands with the groom, and bow to the
bride-maids, when you know them. The mother of
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164:    THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN I  GUIDE
the bride should then be sought. Here, again
refinement dictates the avoidance of too eager
congratulations. While expressing a cordial hope
that the parents have added to their prospects of
future pleasure in receiving a new member into
their family, do not insinuate, by your manner, the
conviction that they have no natural regret at resigning their daughter
"To another path and guide,
To a bosom yet untried."
It is not usual to sit down on such occasions; and it
is as obviously unsuitable to remain long, as it is to
engage the attention of those whom others may be
waiting to approach, beyond the utterance of a few
brief, well-chosen sentences.
When you require an introduction to the bride,
but are acquainted with her husband, you may
speak first to himn, and so secure a presentation.
Usually a groomsman, or some other gentleman, is in
readiness to present unknown visitors. In that case,
should he, too, be a stranger to you, mention your
name to him, and any little circumstance by which
he may afford a passing theme or explanation, when
he introduces you-as, that you are a friend of her
father-promised your particular friend, her sister,
to pay your respects, etc.
On this, as in the instance of all similar occasions,
tact and good-taste must suggest the variations of
manner required by the greater or less degree of
.S 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
ceremony prevailing, and your individual relations
to those you visit.
In this connection I will add that a card may
sometimes be properly made a substitute for paying
one's respects in person-with a pencilled phrase of
politeness, or accompanied by a note.  In either
case, an envelope of the most unexceptionable kind
should be used, and a note written with equal attention to ceremony.
A Yisit of Condolence is often most tastefully
made by going in person to the residence of your
friend, and leaving a courteous message, and your
card, with a servant.  Much politeness is sometimes
expressed by the earliest possible call upon friends
just arrived from a journey, etc., or by leaving or
sending a card, with a pencilled expression of
pleasure, and of the intention of availing yourself
of the first suitable moment for paying your compliments in person.
Visits upon New-Year's Day should be short, as a
rule, for the reasons before suggested, and it is not
usual to sit down, except when old friends urge it, or
when the presence of an elderly person, or an invalid,
demands the appearance of peculiar consideration.
On all occasions of ceremonious intercourse with
superiors in age and station, one or both, manner
should be regulated, as respects familiarity, or even
cordiality, by term.  "He approached  me  with
familiarity, I repulsed him with ceremony," said a
man of rank, alluding to an impertinence of this
kind. Never be the first, under such circumstances,
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166     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMANSI GUIDE
to violate the strict rules of convention.   Their
observance is often the safeguard of sensibility, as
well as of self-respect.
Simple good-taste will dictate the most quiet, unnoticeable bearing at Church.  The saying of the
celebrated A[rs. Chapone, that "it was part of her
religion not to disturb the religion of others," is all
inclusive. To enter early enough to be fully established in one's seat before the service commences,
to attend politely, but very unostentatiously, to the
little courtesies that may render others comfortable, to avoid all rude staring, and all appearance of
inattention to the proper occupations of the occasion,
as well as every semblance of irreverence, will occur
to all well-bred persons as obviously required by
decorum. When necessitated to go late to church,
one should, as on all similar occasions, endeavor to
disturb others as little as possible; but with equal
studiousness avoid the vulgar exhibition of discomposure, of over-diffidence, or of any consciousness,
indeed, of being observed, which so unmistakably
savors of low-breeding.   I cannot too frequently
remind you that self-possession is one of the grand
distinctive attributes of a gentleman, and that it is
often best illustrated by a simple, quiet, successful
manner of meeting the exigencies and peculiarities
of circumstances.
Never wear your hat into church. Remove it in the
vestibule, and on no account resume it until you return thither, unless health imperatively demands your.
doing so just before reaching the door opening into it.
Iv 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION,
All nodding, whispering, and exchanging of
glances in church, is in bad taste.  Even the latter
should not be indulged in, unless a very charming
woman is the provoking cause of the peccadillo, and
then very stealthily and circulnispectly!
Salutations, even with intimate friends, should
always be very quietly exchanged, while one is still
within the body of the sacred edifice, and the " outer
court" of the house of God were better inot the scene
of boisterous mirth, or rude jostling. Let me add,
here, that it is always proper, when compelled to
hurry past those of right before you, at church, or
elsewhere in a crowd, to apologize, briefly, but politely, for discommoding any one.
Whenever you are in attendance upon ladies, as at
the opera, concerts, lectures, etc., there is entire priopriety in remaining with them in the seat you have
paid for, or secured by early attendance. No gentleman should be expected to separate himself from
a party to give his place to a lady under such circumstances, and in no country but ours would such a
request or intimation be made. But while it is quite
justifiable to retain the seat taken upon entering
such a public place, nothing is more wholly inadmissible than crowding in and out of your place
repeatedly, talking and laughing aloud, mistimea
applauding, and the like.  If you are not present for
the simple purpose of witnessing the performance,
whatever it may be, there are, doubtless, those who
are; and it is not only exceedingly vulgar, but
immoral, to invade their rights in this regard. Be
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168     THlE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
careful, therefore, to secure your libretto, concertbill, or programme, as the case may be, before
assuming your seat; and when you have ladies with
you, or are one of a party, especially, as then you
cannot so readily accept the penalty of carelessness,
by not returning to your first seat. Should any unforeseen necessity compel you to crowd past others,
and afterwards resume your seat, presume as little as
possible upon their polite forbearance, by great care
of dresses, toes, etc., and each time politely apologize
for the inconvenience you occasion. Let me repeat
that no excuse exists for the too-frequent rudeness
of disturbing others by fidgeting, whispering, laughing, or applauding out of time. And even when
standing or moving about between the exercises, on
any public occasion, or the acts at a play-house, or
opera, well-bred people are never disregardful of
the rights and comfort of others.
In a picture-gallery, at an exhibition of marbles,
etc., nothing can be more indicative of a want of
refinement sufficient to appreciate true art, than the
impertinence exhibited in audible comments upon
the subjects before you, and in interfering with the
enjoyment of others by passing before them, moving
seats noisily, talking and laughing aloud, etc. With
persons of taste and refinement, there is an almost
religious sacredness in the presence of the creations of genius, to desecrate which, is as vulgar
as it is irreverential of the beautiful and the good.
Always then, carry out the most scrupulous regard
of the rights and feelings of others, when yourself a 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
devotee at the shrine of Esthetics, by attention to
the minutest forms of courtesy.   This will dictate
leaving your place the moment you rise, carrying
everything withl you belonging to you, and never
stopping to shawl ladies, don an overcoat, or dispose of an opera-glass, until you can do so without
interrupting the comfort of those you leave behind
Y0ou.
When you wish to take refreshments, or to offer
them to ladies, at public entertainments, it is better
to repair to the place where they are served, as a
rule, unless it be in the instance of a single glass
of water, or the like; except when a party occupy
an opera-box, etc., exclusively.
Be careful never to attach yourself to a party
of which you were not originally one, at any time,
or place, unless fully assured of its being agreeable
to the gentlemen previously associated with ladies;
or if a gentleman's party only, attracts you, make
yourself quite sure that no peccadillo be involved in
your joining it, and in either case, let your manner
indicate your remembrance of the circumstance of
your properly standing in the relation of a recipient
of the civilities die to the occasion. 
Some men practically adopt the opinion that the
courteous observances of social and domestic life
are wholly inapplicable to business intercourse.  A
little consideration will prove this a solecism. Good
breeding is not a thing to be put off and on with
varying outward circumstance. If genuine, inherent, it will always exhibit itself as certainly as
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169 
ItO    THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
integrity, or any other unalienable quality of an
individual. The manifestations of this characteristic
by qnanner, will, of course, vary with occasion, but
it will, nevertheless, be apparent at all times, and to
all observers, when its legitimate influence is rightly
understood and admitted.
Hence, then, though the observance of elaborate
ceremony in the more practical associations of busy
outer life would be absurdly inappropriate, that careful respect for the rights and feelings of others, which
is the basis of all true politeness, should not, under
these circumstances, be disregarded.
The secret of the superior popularity of some business men with their compeers and  employes, lies
often, rather in mnanner than in any other characteristic. You may observe, in one instance, a universal
favorite, to whom all his associates extend a welcoming hand, as though there were magic in the ready
smile and genial manner, and who is served by his
inferiors ill station with cheerfulness and alacrity, indicating that a little more than a inere business bond
draws them to him; and again, an uprighlt, but externally-repulsive man, though  always  corrmmanding
respect from his compeers, holds them aloof by his
frigidity, and receives the service of fear rather than
of love fiom those to whom he may be always just,
and even humane, if never sympathizing and unbending.
As I have before remarked, there is no occasion
where we are associated with others, that does not
demand the exhibition of a polite manner. Thus at 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
a public table, no man should allow himself to feed
like a mere animal, wholly disregardful of those
about him, and, as too frequently happens, forgetful
of the proprieties that are observed when eating in
private.  Only at the best conducted hotels are all
things so well and liberally appointed as to render
those who meet at public tables wholly independent
()f each in little matters of comfort and convenience,
and a well-bred man may be recognized there, as everywhhee else, by his manner to those who may chance
to be near him.  He will neither call loudly to a servant, nor monopolize the services that should be
divided with others. HIis quick eye will discern a lady
alone, or an invalid, and his ready courtesy supply a
want, or proffer a civility, and he will not grudge a
little self-denial, or a few minutes' time, in exchange
for the consciousness of being true to himself, even
in trifles.  Nor will he ever eat as though running a
race of life and death with Time! HIealth and decency will alike prompt him to abstain wholly from
attempting to take a meal, rather than assimilate
himself to a ravenous brute, to gratify his appetite.
Let no plea of want of time ever induce you, I entreat, to acquire the American habit of thus eating
in public. Even in the compulsatory haste of travelling, there is no valid excuse for this unhealthy
and disgusting practice.   And, with regard to daily
life at one's hotel, or the like, the man who is habitually regardfuil of the value and right use of time,
may well and wisely permit himself the simple indulgence and relaxation of eating like a gentlerran!
171
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172     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDF
While on this subject, permit me to remind you
of the impropriety of staring at strangers, listening
to conversation in which you have no part, commenting audibly upon others, laughing and talking boisterously, etc., etc. Let not even admiration tempt
you to put a modest woman out of countenance, by
a too fixed regard, nor let her even suspect that a nod,
a shrug, a significant whisper or glance had her for
their object. Good-breeding requires one to hear as
little as possible of the conversation of strangers, near
w\hom he may chance to be seated.   We  quietly
ignore their presence (as they should ours), unless
some exigency demands a courtesy; but we do not
disturb our neighbors by vociferousness, even in the
height of merrimnent, however harmless in itself.
Should a lady, even though an entire stranger, be
entering an eating-hall alone, or attended by another
gentleman, at the same moment with yourself, give
precedence to her, with a slight bow; and so, when
quitting the room, as well as to your acknowledged
superiors in age or position generally, and carefully
avoid such self-engrossment as shall engender inat tention to their observances. So, too, when meeting
a lady on a public stairs, or in a passage-way, give
place sufficiently to allow her to pass readily, touching
your hat at the same moment. In the same manner
remove a chair, or other obstacle that obstructs the
way of a lady in a hotel parlor, or on a piazza; avoid
placing a seat so as to crowd a lady, encroach upon
a party, or compel you to sit before others.
I admit that these are the minutice of manners, my
.1, 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
dear fellows; but attention to them will increase your
self-respect,,and give elevation to your general cha racter, just in proportion as self is subdued, and the
baser propensities of our nature kept habitually in
subserviency to the nobler qualities illustrated by
habitual good-breeding.
But to return. Though the circumstances must be
peculiar that sanction your addressing a lady with
whom you are unacquainted, in a public parlor, or
the like, you are not required by convention to appear so wholly unconscious of her presence as to
retain your seat just in front of the only fire in the
room on a cold day, in the only comfortable chair, or
a place so near the only airy window on a hot one,
as to preclude her approach to it. Nor are you
bound to sit in one seat and keep your legs across
another, on the deck of a steamer, in a railroad car,
in a tavern, at a public exhibition, while women
standc near you, compelled by your not knowing
them! Let me hope, too, that no kinsman of mine
will ever feel an inclination, when appealed to for
information in some practical emergency, by one of
the dependent sex, to repulse her with laconic coldness, though the appeal should chlance when he is
hurrying along the public highway of life, or through
the most secluded of its by-paths.
Few young men, I must believe, ever remember
when in a large hotel, at night, with their companions, that-opening into the corridors through which
they tramp like a body of mounted cavalry upon a
foray, with appropriate musical accompaniiments
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1.4     THE AMIERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
may be the apartments of the weary and the sick; or,
that, separated from the room in which they prolong
their nocturnal revels, by only the thinnest of partitions, lies a timid and lonely woman, shrinking and
trembling more and more nervously at each successive burst of mirth and song, or worse, that effectually robs her of repose.  Yet Sir Walter Raleigh, or
Sir Philip Sidney, might, perchance, have thought
even such a trifling peccadillo not un-note-worthy.
The same general rules that are applicable to manner in public places, at hotels, etc., are almost
equally so in travelling, modified only by circumstances and good sense.
A due consideration for the rights and feelings of
others, will be a better guide to true politeness than
a whole battery of conventionalisms. Courtesy to
ladies, to age, to the suffering, will here, as ever,
mark the true gentleman, as well as that habitual
refinement which interdicts the offensive use of
tobacco, where women sit or stand, or any other slovenliness or indecorum.
Under such circumstances, as many others in real
life, never let cold ceremony deter you from render
ing a real service to a fellow-being, though you readily avail yourself of its barriers to repel impertinence or vulgarity. It is authentically recorded of
one of the loyal subjects of the little crowned lady
over the ocean, that, as soon as he was restored to
the privileges of civilization, after having been cast
away upon a desert island with only one other person, hlie at once challenged his companion in misfobr 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
tune for having spoken to him, during their mutual
exile, without an introduction!
Should you indulge in any skepticism respecting
the literal truthfulness of this historical record, I can
personally vouch for the following: Our eccentric
and unhappy countryman, the gifted poet, P5
twas once, while travelling, roused from a moody and
absorbing reverie, by the address of a stranger, who
said: "Sir, I am Mr. W, the author-you have
no doubt heard of me." The dreamy eye of the
contemplative solitaire lighted with a sudden fire,
as he deliberately scrutinized the intruder, then
quickly contracting each feature so that his physiognomry changed at once to a very respectable imitation of a spy-glass, he coolly inquired: " Who the
devil did yom say you are?"
Practice and tact combined, can alone give a man
ease and grace of mainner amid the varying demands
of social life, but systematic attention to details will
soon simplify whatever may seem formidable in regard to it. No one but a fool or a monomaniac goes
on stumbling through his allotted portion of existence, when he may easily learn to go without stumbling at all, or only occasionally.
Thus, after experiencing the embarrassment of
keeping ladies, with whom you have been driving in
a hired carriage, standing in the rain, or sun, or in a
jostling crowd, while you are waiting for change to
pay your coach, or submitting to extortion, or searching for your purse, you will, perhaps, resolve, when
you are next so circumstanced, to ascertain before
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1T6     THE AMIERICAN GENTLEMAIN'S GUIDE
hand, if possible, exactly what you should lawfully
pay, to have your money ready before reaching your
final destination, and to leave the ladies seated in
quiet while you  alight,  pay your fare and then
secure  shawls,  etc., and  makle every other  arrangement and inquiry that will facilitate their
speedy and comfortable transit from the carriage.
Thus much for mangler in ubtlic.
Now then, a few words relative to the bearing
proper in social intercourse, and I will release
you.
In the character of llost, much is requisite that
would be unsuitable elsewhere, since the youngest
and most modest man must, of necessity, then take
the lead.   Thus, when you have guests at dinner,
some care and tact are required in the simple matter,
even, of disposing of your visitors with cldue regard
to proper precedents.   Of course, when there are
only men present, you desire him whom you wish to
distinguish, to conduct the mistress of the mansion to
the table, and are, yourself, the last to enter the
dining-roomn.  When there are ladies, the place of
honor accorded to age, rank, or by some temporary
relative circumstance, is designated as being at youi
right hand, and you precede your other guests, in
attendance upon such a lady. A stranger lady, for
whomn an entertainment is given, should be met by her
host before she enters the drawing-room, and conducted to the hostess.  A gentleman, under similar
circumstances, nmust be received at the door of the
reception-room.   In both  instances, introductions 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
should at once be given to those who are invivted to
meet such quests.
Persons living in large cities may, if they possess
requisite pecuniary means, always procure servants
so fully acquainted with the duties properly belonging to them as to relieve themselves, when they have
visitors, from all attention to the details of the table.
PBut it is only in the best appointed establishments
that hospitality does not enjoin some regard to
these matters. It may be unfashionable to keep an
eye to the comfort of one's friends, when we are
favored with their company, to consult theirtastes,to
huminor their peculiarities, to convince them, by a thousand nameless acts of consideration and deference,
that we have pleasure in rendering them honor due;
— this may not be in strict accordance  with the
cold ceremony of modern fashion, but it, nevertheless, illustrates one of the most beautiful of characteristics —one ranked by the ancientsas a virtueilospitality!
Permit me, also, to remind you that sometimes the
most worthy people are not high-bred-not familiar
with conventional proprieties; that they even have
a dread of them, on account of this ignorance; and
that they are, therefore, not fit subjects towards
whom to display strict ceremony, or from whomn to
expect it. But always remember, that, though they
may not understand conventionalisms, they will fully appreciate genuine kindness, the talismanic charm
that will always place the humblest and most self,
distrustful guest at ease. And never let a vulgar
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178     TIIE A]IERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
degrading fear of compromising your claims to gen
tility, tempt you to the inhumanity of wounding the
feelings of the humblest of your humble friends!
If you have a large rout at your house, it will,
necessarily, be impossible for you to render special
attention to each guest; but you should, notwithstanding, quietly endeavor to promote the enjoymrent of the company, by bringing such persons
together as are best suited to the appreciation of each
othler's society, by drawing out the diffident, tendering some civility to an elderly, or particularly unassuming visitor, and, in short, by a manner that,
without in any degree savoring of over-solicitude, or
bustling self-importance, shall save you from a fate
similar to that of a gentleman of whom I lately read
the following anecdote:
A stranger at a large party, observing a gentleman
leaning upon the corner of a mantel-piece, with a
peculiarly melancholy expression of countenance,
accosted him thus:-" Sir, as we both seem to be
entire strangers to all here, suppose we both return
home?"  He addressed his host!
In general society, do not let your pleasure in the
conversations of one person whom you may chance
to meet, or your being attached to a pleasant party,
tempt you to forget the respect due to other friends,
who may be present. Ilarried ladies, whose hlospitalities you have shared, strangers who possess a claim
upon you, through your relations with mutual friends,
gentlemen whose politeness has been socially extend
ed to you, should never be rudely overlooked, or
.1 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
discourteously neglected.   Such  a manner would
indicate rather a vulgar eagerness for selfish enjoyment than the collected self-possession, the well-sustained good-breeding, of a man of the u'orld.  Do
not let a sudden attack of the modesty suitable to
youth and insignificance, induce you to regard thlose
proprieties as of no importance in your particular case-exclaiming, "What's Hecuba to mne,
or I to Hecuba?"  Believe me, no one is so unimportant as to be unable to give pleasure by politeness;
and no one having a place in society, has a right to
self-abnegation in this respect.
" Husband, do you know a young Mr. V -, in
society here-a lawyer, I think?" inquired a ladyfriend of mine, of a distinguished member of the
Legislature of our State, with whom I was dining, at
his hotel.
"'V? That I do! and a right clever fellow he
is:-why, my dear?"
"Oh, nothing, I met him somewhere the other morning, and was struck with his pleasing manners. This
morning I was realy indebted to his pocliteness.  You
kniow how slippery it was-well, I had been at Mrs.
S's reception, and was just hesitating on the top
of the steps, on coming away, afraid to call the man
from his horses, and fearful of venturing down alone,
when Mr. V         ran up, like a chamois-hunter,
and offered his assistance. He not only escorted me
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180     TIIE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
to the sleigh, but tucked up the fulrs, gave me my
muff, and inquired for your health with such goodhumor and cordiality as really quite won my heart!"
" I should be exceedingly jealous, were it not that
he made exactly the same impression upon me, a few
evenings before you joined me here.  It was at Mliss
T's wedding.  Of course, I had a card of invitation to the reception, after the ceremony, but, disliking
crowds as I do, and as you were not here, I decided
not to go.-The truth is, Colonel, [turning to me]
we backwoodsmen are a little shy of these grand
state occasions of ceremony and parade."  " Backwoodsmen, as you are pleased to term them,
sometimes confer far more honor upon such occasions
than they upon him," returned I.
"You are very polite, sir.  Well, as I was saying,
in the morning I met the bride's father, who was one
of my eaily college friends, in the street, and ie
urged me, with such old-fashioned, hearty cordiality
to come, that I began to think the homely charm
of hospitaity might not be wholly lacking, even at
a fashionable entertainment, in this most fashionable
city. So the upshot of the matter was my going,
though with some misgivings about my court-costume,
as my guardian-angel had deserted me." Really,
boys, I wish you could have seen the chivalrous
courtesy that lilghted the fine eye and shone over the
manner of the speaker, as, with these last words, he
bowed to the fair companion of his life for something
like half a century.
' You forget, my dear," rejoined the lady, as a soft 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
smile, and a softer blush stole over her still beautiful
face, "that ZMrs. M      wrote me you were quite
the lion of the occasion, and that half the young
ladies present, including the bride herself, were"  "MAy dear! I cry you mercy!-Bless my soul!an old fellow like me!"
" But I, my dear firiend," I exclaimed, " don't
be personal "
" Lunettes, you were always, and still are, irresistible with the ladies, but-you are an exception."
"I protest!" cried Mrs. K, joining in our
laughter, " Mr. Clay, to his latest day, was in high
favor with ladies, young, and old-there was no withstanding the charm of his manner.  At Washington,
one winter that I spent there, wherever I met him,
he was encircled by the fairest and most distinguished of our sex, all seeming to vie with each other for
his attentions-and this was not because of his political rank, for others in high position did not share his
popularity;-it was his grace, his courtesy, his je ne
sais quoi, as the French say."
"1 ir. Clay was as remarkable for quiet self-possession and tact, in social as in public life," said I.
"When I had the honor to be his colleague, I often
had occasion to observe and admire both.  I remenlber once being a good deal amused by a little scene
between him and a Miss         then a reigning belle
at Washington, and a great favorite of Mr. Clay's.
Returning late one night from the Capitol, excessive.
ly fatigued by a long and exciting debate, in which
he had borne an active part, he dropped into the
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182     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
ladies' parlor of our hotel, on his way up stairs,
hoping, I dare say, Mrs. K., to enjoy the soothing
influence of gentler smiles and tones than those he had
left. The room was almost deserted, but, ensconced
in one corner of a long, old-fashioned sofa, sat Miss
, reading. his keen eye detected his fair friend
in a moment, and his lagging step quickened as he
approached her. A younger and handsomer man
might  well have envied the warm  welcome  he
received. After sitting a moment beside the lady,
MAr. Clay said, abruptly:  "Miss, what is your definition of true polite
ness?"
"Perfect ease," she replied.
"'I have the honor to agree with you, madam, and,
with your entire permission, will take leave to
assume the correctness of this position!/" As he
spoke, with a dextrous movement, the statesman
disposed a large cushion near Miss's end of the
sofa, and simultaneously, down went his head upon
the cushion, and up went his heels at the other
extreme of the sofa! But, my dear fellow, we are
losing your adventures at the great wedding party,
all this time " —  " Very true, my dear," added Mrs. KI,  wiping
her eyes, "you fell in love with Mr. V —, you
know "  "Oh, yes," returned my host, "I did, indeed; but
i had no adventures, in particular.  V-   was one
of the aid.s-de-camp, on the occasion, as I knew by
the white love-knot (what is the fashionable name, 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
wife?) he wore on his breast.  ile was in the hall,
when I came down stairs, to act in his office of
groomsman. Upon seeing me, he advanced, and
asked whether he could be of any service to me.  I
explained, while I drew on my gloves, that I did
not know the bride, and feared that even her mother
might have forgotten an early friend.  His young
eyes found the button of my glove quicker than mine,
and as he released my hand, he said, showing a sad
rent in his own, "you are fortunate in not having
split them, sir,-but you gentlemen of the old school,"
he added with a respectful bow, "always surpass us
youngsters in matters of dress, as well as everything
else."  As he said this, the young rogue glanced
politely over my plain black suit, and offered me his
arm as deferentially as though I had been an ExPresident,lat least; and so on, throughout the evening, with apparent unconsciousness of self. I should
have thought him wholly devoted to my enjoyment
of everything and everybody, had I not observed
that others, equally,or more,in need of his attention
than I, shared his courtesy-from anl elderly lady in
a huge church-tower of a cap, who seemed fearfully
exercised less she should not secure her full share of
the wvedding-cale boxes, to one of the little sisters
of the bride, who clung to her dress and sobbed as
if her heart must break-all seemed to like him and
depevnd on him."
" I have not the pleasure of Mr. V —'s acquaintance," said I, "but I prophesy that he will succeed
in life!"
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184 THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
"Yes, and make friends at every step!" responded
Mirs. K —, warmly.  "After we parted this morning, I had an agreeable sort of half-consciousness
that somethinig pleasant had happened to me, and
when I analised the feeling, Wordsworth's lines
seemed to have been impersonated to me:
'A face with gladness overspread!
Soft smiles, by human kindness bred!
And seemliness complete, that sways
Thy courtesies, about thee plays!'"
I have lknown few persons with as exquisite esthetical perceptions as my lovely friend Minnie. So I
promised rnyself great pleasure in taking her to see
Cole's celebrated series of pictures-THE  COURSE OF
ToE. It was soon after Cole's lamented death; and,
as Minnie had been some time living where she was
deprived of such enjoyments, she had never seen
these fine pictures.
As we drove along towards the Art Union Gallery,
the fair enthusiast was all eager expectation. " How
often my kind friend Mr. S —-  B. R, used to
talk to me of Cole," said she, " and promise me the
pleasure of knowing him. When he died I felt as
though I had lost a dear friend, as I had indeed, for all
who worship art, have a friend in each child of genius."
" Cole was emphatically one of these," returned I,
" as his conceptions alone prove."
"Yes, indeed," replied Minnie, " I always think of
him as the poet-painter, since I saw his first series 
TO POLITENESS AND FASIEION.
the' Progress of Empire.' Only a poet's imagination could conceive his subjects."
I placed my sweet friend in the most favorable
position for enjoying each picture in succession, and
seated ilyself at her side, rather for the gratification
of listening to the low murmurs of delight that should
be breathed by her kindred soul, than to view the
painter's skill, as that no longer possessed the attraction of novelty for me.
We had just come to the sublime portraiture of
" [anIood," and Minnie seemed wholly absorbed in
her own thoughts and imaginings.  Suddenly a silly
giggle broke the charmed stillness.  The Devotee of
the Beautiful started, as if abruptly awakened from
a dream, and a slight shiver ran through her sensitive frame.
Turning, I perceived, standing close behind us, a
group of young persons, chattering and laughing,
and pointing to different parts of the picture before
us. Their platitudes were not, perhaps, especially
stupid, nor were they more noisy and rude than I
have known free-born  republicans before, under
somewhat similar circumstances; but poor Minnie
endured absolute torture; her idealized delight
vanished before a coarse reality. I well remember
the imploring and distressed look with which she
whispered: "Let us go, dear Colonel;" and one
glance at her pale face satisfied me that the spell was
irrevocably broken for her, and that her long anticipated "joy," in beholding "a thing of beauty"
hlad indeed been cruelly alloyed.
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186    TIHE AMERICAN C-ENTLEMANIS GUIDE
If my memory serves me aright, I told you something, in a former letter, of an interesting lady, a
firiend of mine, whose husband was shot all to pieces
in the Mexican War, and after lying for many months
in an almost hopeless condition, finally so far recovered as to be removed to the sea-board, to take ship
for New Orleans. When informed of this, his beautiful young wife-a belle, a beauty, and the petted idol
of a large family circle before her marriage-set out,
at mid-winter, accompanied by one of her brothers
and  taking with her the  infant-child, whom  its
soldier-father had never seen, to meet her husband
on his homeward route.  This explanation will render intelligible the following incident, which she
herself related to me.
'A Iy brother remained with us some time at New
Orleans," said the fair narrator; " but, as Ernest
began to improve, I entreated him to return home,
as both his business and his family demanded his
attention; and you know, Colonel Lunettes," she
added, with a sad smile, "that a soldier's wife must
learn to be brave, for her own sake as well as for
his. Ernest had with him an excellent, faithful
servant, who was fully competent to such service as
I could not render, and my little boy's nurse was
with me, of course. So we made our homeward
journey by slow stages, but with less suffering to
my husband than we could have hoped, and I grew
strong as soon as we were re-united, and felt ade.
quate to anything, almost" 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
The fair young creature added the last word with
the same mournful smile that had before flitted over
her sweet face, and as if rather in reply to the
doubtful expression she read in my countenance,
than from any remembrance of having failed, in the
slightest degree, in the task of which she spoke.
On the night of our arrival at A, however,"
pursued Airs. V,  we seemed to reach such a
climax of fatigue and trial, as to make further
endurance literally impossible for poor Ernest. Our
little child had been taken ill the day before, so that
I could not devote myself so entirely to him as I
could have wished; and, as we drew near home,
his impatience seemed to increase the pain of his
wounds, so that, on this evening, he was almost
exhausted both in body and mind. We stopped at
the D      House, as being nearest the depot, which
was a great point with us; but such a comfortless,
shiftless p] ace!"
"An abominable hole!" I ejaculated; "one never
gets anything fit to eat there!"
"That was the least of our difficulties," returned
the lady, "as we had to leave our man-servant to
look after our luggage, it was with great difficulty
that my poor husband was assisted up stairs into the
public parlor, and he almost fainted while I gave a
few hurried directions about a room.  Such a scene
as it was! The poor baby, weary and sleepy, began
to cry for mamma, and nurse had as much as she
could do with the care of him.  Ernest had suink
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188     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
down upon the only sofa in the room-a huge,
heavy machine of a thing, that looked as though
never designed to be moved from its place against
the wall. I gave my husband a restorative, but in
vain.  I-e grew so ghastly pale that "     a sob here
choked the utterance of the speaker.
C; Iy dear child," said I, taking her hand, " do not
say another word; I cannot forgive myself for asking youL these particulars-all is well now-do not
recall the past!"
"Excuse me, dear Colonel, I wish to tell you, I
want you to know, how we were treated by a brute
in human form-to ask you whether you could have
believed in the existence of snch a being-so
utterly destitute of common politeness, not to say
humanity."
" I hope  no one who  could aid you, in this
extremity, failed to do so."
' You shall hear.  Ernest was shivering with cold,
as well as exhlaustion, and whispered to me that lihe
would try to sit by the fire until the room was
prepared.   I looked round the place for an easychair; there was but one, and that was occupied by
a man who was staring at us, as though we were
curiosities exhibited for his especial benefit."
"' Ernest,' said, I aloud,' you are too weak to sit
in one of these chairs without arms, and with
nothing to support your head.'
"I will try, love,' he replied,' for I am so cold!'
'I will ask that man for his chair,  I whispered
f. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
Poor Ernest! his eyes flashed.'INo! No!' said he,
'if he has not the decency to offer it, you shall not
speak to him!'
"Of course, I would not irritate him  by opposition, but placed an ordinary chair before the fire,
and, supporting him into it, held his head on my
shoulder, while I chafed his benumbed hands.  In
the mneanwhile, the wail of the baby did not help to
quiet us, nor to shorten the time of waiting; and it
seemed as if John would never make his appearance, nor the room I had ordered be prepared. By
my direction, nurse rang the bell. I inquired of
the very placid individual who answered it, whether
the room was ready for us, and upon being told that
they were making the fire, entreated the emblem of
serenity to hasten operations, and at once to bring
me a cup of hot tea.  Minutes seemed hours to mne,
as you may suppose, and the dull eyes that were
fastened upon us from the centre of the stuffed
chair, I so longed for, really made me nervous.
I felt as though it might be some horrid ghoul,
rather than anything human, thus looking upon our
misery.'Good G, LuL!' said Ernest, at last,
'isn't ithe bed ready yet?'
"I could bear it no longer. Gently withdrawing
my support from the weary, weary head, I flew to
my boy, snatched him from nurse, and signifying
my design to her, we united our powers, and, laying
baby on the sofa, we succeeded in pushing it up to
the side of the fire-place. Then, while I hushed the
child on my breast, we piled up our wrappings and
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190     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
placed my husband upon the couch, so as to rest his
poor wounded frame (you know,Colonel, his spine
was injured).  The groan, half of relief and half
of torture, that broke from his lips, as hlie rested
his head, was like to be the'last straw' that broke
my heart —but the soldier's wife! How often did I
repeat to myself, during that long journey:
' Remember thou'rt a soldier's wvife,
Those tears but ill become thee!'
Well! by this time, John made his appearance,
and, consigning his master temporarily to his care, I
took nurse with me, and went to see what a woman's
ready hand could do in expediting matters elsewhere.
When showed to the room we were expected to
occupy, I found it so filled with smoke, and so dreadfully cold, as to be wholly uninhabitable, and ill
despair sent for the steward, or whoever he was, to
whom I had given directions at first. No other
room with two beds could be secured. By the glimmering light of the small lamp in the hand of the
Irishman, who was laboring with the attempt at a
fire, I investigated a little; the smouldering coals
belched forth volumes of smoke into my face.
Nothing daunted by this ('twas not the'smoke of
battle,' though I felt as though in the midst of a
conflict of life and death), I bade the man remove
the blower. Behold the draught closed by the strip
of stone sometimes used for that purpose, after a
bard coal fire is fully ignited! I think, Colonel, you 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
would have admired the laconic, imperiously cool
tone and manner with which I speedily effected the
removal of the entire mass of cold hard coal, substituted for it, light, dry wood, and covering up  my
boy, as he still rested in my arms, dissipated the
smoke that contended with the close, shut-up sort of
air in the room, for disagreeability, by opening the
windows, had the most comfortable looking of the
beds drawn near the fire, and opened to air and
warm, ordered up the trunks we wanted, opened
them, hung a warm flannel dressing-gown near the
fire, placed his slippers and everything else Ernest
would want just where they would be wanted, near
the best chair I could secure, and the table that was
to receive his supper when he should be ready
for it, and, in short put the  matter throlugh, as Ernest would say, with the speed of desperation.  It
was wonderful how quickly all this, and more, was
effected by the people about me chiefly through
my ability to tell them exactly what to do and how
to do it. Excuse me if I boast; it was the deep
calmness of despair that inspired me! Bow I can
smile at the look of blank amazement with which
Paddy received my announcement of the necessity
of taking out all the coals from the grate, before
he could hope to kindle a fire, and the stare of the
man of affairs for the D      House, as he entered
upon the field of my efforts to say that tea was
ready."
"There is but one step from the sublime to the
ridiculouss!" I exclaimed, l.ighing, in spite of muy
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sympathy with my fair friend.  "And what became
of the barbarian in the large chair "
" Oh, when I returned to the parlor to have Ernest
removed to our own room, there he sat, still, lolling
comfortably back in his chair, with his hat on, and
his feet laid up before him, and apparently as much
occupied as ever in staring at the strangers, and no
more
'On hospitable thoughts intent'
than when I quitted the room, the horrid ghoul!  1
was so rejoiced to escape with my treasures safe
from his blighting gaze! But now for the mnora  of
my story, dearColonel, for every story has its moral,
I suppose,-John, Ernest's manl, told nurse, who, by
the way, was so highly indignant on the occasion, as
to assure me afterwards, that if she had been a man,
she'd have just pitched the selfish brute beast out of
the chair, and taken it for Mlr. V —, without so
much as a'by your leave."'
I could not refrain from interrupting Mrs.  -  to
say that I thought I should have been sorely tempted
to some such act myself, under the circumstances.
"Yes," pursued Mrs. V-, "nurse still recurs to
that'awful cold night in A' with an invariable
malediction upon the'bad speret as kept the chair.'
But, as I was saying, John told her afterwards that
the ghoul asked him who that sick gentleman was,
and said that his wife appeared to be in so much
trouble that he should have offered to help her along
a little, but he wasn't acquainted with hee!" 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
"Uncle Hial, isn't an artist a gentleman A" inquired
Blanche of me one morning, during a recent visit to
our great Commercial Metropolis, as the newspaper
writers call it.  "What do you mean, child," said I,
"you cannot mean to ask whether artists rank as
gentlemen in society, for that does not admit of question."  I saw there was something troubling her,
the moment she came down, for she did not welcome
her old uncle with her usual sparkling smile, though
;he snugged close up to me on the sofa, and kept
my hand in both of hers, while we were arranging
somne matters about which I had called.
"Is not an engraver an artist?" she inquired, with
increased earnestness of tone.  "Does not an engraver who has a large atel7ier, numbers of employes,
and does all kinds of beautiful prints, heads, and
landscapes, and elegant figures, take rank in social
life with other gentlemen?"
" Certainly, my dear; but tell me what you are
thinking of; what troubles you my child?"
" Well, you remember, dear uncle, perhaps, the
young orphan boy in whom papa and all of us used to
be so interested the summer you spent with us, long
ago, when we were all children at home. Hie is
now established in this city, after years of struggle
with difficulties that would have crushed  a less
nioble spirit, and his sisters, for whom he has always
provided, in a great degree, though at the cost of
almost incredible self-denial, as I happen to know,
are now nearly prepared for teachers. We have
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always retained our interest in them all; and they
always make us a visit when they are at D.  Indeed, papa always says he knows few young men for
whom hlie entertains so high a regard; and I am sure he
is very good-looking, and though he may not be very
fashionable,-you needn't smile, uncle Hal, I "  "My dear, I am charmed with your sketch, and
shall go, at once, and have my old visage engraved
by your handsome artist-friend; and when I publish my auto-biographly, it shall be accompanied by
a'portrait of the author,' superbly engraved by
a' celebrated artist.'"
" lie is celebrated, uncle, really; you have no idea
of the vast number of orders he has from all parts of
the country, nor how beautifully he gets up everything.  But I must tell you," proceeded the sensitive little thing, with more cheerfulness, for I had
succeeded in my design of cheering her up a little"1 r. Zousky-I-enry, as we always call him, has
been engraving the head of one of our friends at
home for a literary affair-some biographical book,
or something of that sort, and he came up to show
me one of the'first impressions,' as I think he calls
them, and to bring a message from his sister, last
evening-wishing me to'criticise,' he told me, as
he had nothing but rather an indifferent daguerreotype to copy from. It was just before tea that he
called-because he is busy all day, I suppose, and
perhaps, he thought he should be sure of finding me,
then.  Indeed, he said something about fearing to
intrude later, when there might be other visitors —
"I 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION
ne is the most sensitive and unobtrusive being!
Well, just as we were having a nice little chat about
oid times at D       cousin Charles came home and
came into the parlor.  Of course, he knows Itenry
very wrell, tor he has seen him often and often at
our house, when hlie used to be there ill vacations
with my brothers; and, indeed, once before Henry
came here to live, was one of a party of us, who
went to his little studio, to see his self-taught paintings and sketches.  When he entered the room, I
said,' cousin Charles, our friend Mr. Zousky does
not need an introduction to you, I am sure.'  I cannot describe his manner. I did not so much mind
its being cold and indifferent, but it was not that of
an e-qual-of one gentleman to another, and without
sitting down, even for a moment, he walked back to
the dining-room, and I heard him ask the servant
whether tea was ready. Henry rose in a moment,
and took my hand to say good-bye-oh, uncle, I cannot tell you how hurt I was! His voice was as low
and gentle as ever, but his face betrayed him! I
know he noticed cousin Charles' manner. I was
determined that he should not go away so; so I
didn't get up, but drew him to a seat by me on the
sofa, and said that he must not go yet, unless he had
an engagement, for that I had not half done telling
him what I wished, and rattled on, hardly knowing
what I did say, for I was so grieved and mortified.
He said he would come again, as it was nay teatime, but I insisted that my tea was of no conme
quence, and that I much preferred talking to A
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196     THlE AMERICAN GENTLEMANIS GUIDE
friend-all the while hoping that  either  cousin
Maria or cousin Charles would  come and invite
him to take tea.  Presently I heard  cousin Maria
come down, and then the glass doors were closed
between the rooms, and I knew they were at tea.
Why,  uncle  Hal,  papa  would  no  more  have
done such a thing in hAs house, than he would
have robbed some one!  What! wound the feelings
of any one for fear of not being' enteel!' that's the
word, I suppose-I hear cousin Maria use it very
often!  We were always taught by dear mamma,
while she lived, to be particularly polite and attentive to those who might not be as happy or prosperous as ourselves. She used to say that fashionable
and distinguished people were the least likely to
observe those things, but that the sensitive and selfdistrustful were apt to be almost morbidly alive to
every indication of neglect.'Never brush rudely
by the- human sensitive- plant, my dears,' she used to
say,' lest you should bruise the tender leaves; and
never forget that it most needs the sunshine oj
smiles!'  Dear mamma! she used to be so polite to
Henry-not patronizing, but so friendly, so considerate-always she put him at ease when there
was other company at our house (though he never
came in when he knew there were other visitors),
and she used to do so many kind things to assist his
first efforts in his art! I only hope he understood
that Ihave no rights here.  I am sure I feel that I
have not!  But I would rather be treated a hundred
times over again as I was last night, myself, than to 
TO POLITENESS AND FASIIION.
have Hienry's feelings wounded; still, I must say
that I should not think, because she happened to be
detained past the exact tea-hour, of sending away
the tea-things and keeping cold slops in a pitcher for
any guest in my house, if I had one "
" Hush, Blanche! I never heard you talk so in
discretely before!"
"Well, I don't care! Papa made me come here
to stay, because he said they had visited us, and
came out to Bel's wedding, and all; but I do so
wish I was at the St. Nicholas with you and the
Clarks, uncle, dear!  Cousin Charles ain't like himself since he married his fashionable New Yorkl
wife; even when he comes to pa's he isn't, though
there he throws off his cold, ceremonious manner
somewhat. But I really feel as if I was in a straightjacket here!"
" Why, Blanche, what's the trouble?  I am sure
everything is very elegant and fashionable here!"
"Yes, too elegant and fashionable for poor little
me! I am not used to that, and don't care for it.
I'd rather have a little more friendliness and sociability than all the splendor. I am constantly reminded of my utter insignificance; and you know,
uncle, poor Blanche is spoiled, as you often say, and
not used to being reduced to a mere nonentity!"
With this the silly child actually began to cry,
and when I tried to soothe her, only sobbed out, in
broken words: "I wouldn't be such a goose as to
mind it, if Henry Zousky had not been treated so
so, so-so-fash-ion-a-bgy!"
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198     TE - AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
Looking over some letters from a sp;ightly correspondent of mine, the other day, I laid aside one from
vwhlich I make the following extract, as apposite to
my subject:
" You asked me to give you some account of the
social position, etc., and an idea of the husband of
your former favorite, M        S.' What is Dr.
i J   like' you inquire:-Like nothing in heaven
above, or in the earth beneath, I answer; and, therefore, he might be worshipped without a violation of
the injunction of the Decalogue! Hiow such a vivacious creature as M-    S        came to tie herself
for life to such a mule, passes my powers of solution.
Dr. Jo    is very accomplished in his profession, for
a young man, I hear, and much respected for his
professional capacity-but socially he is-nothing,'
-the merest cipher conceivable!  A  man may be
very quiet at home, now-a-days, and yet pass muster;
but there are times when he nmust act, as it seems tc
me; but Ni's husband seems to be a man of one
idea, and that never, seemingly, suggests the duties
of host. But you shall judge for yourself.-While
I was in A, we were all invited  there one
evening, to meet a bride, an old firiend of M's,
stopping in town on her marriage tour.   M
said it was too early in the season for a large party,
and that we were expected quite en fainille; but it
was, in reality, quite an occasion, nevertheless, as
the bride and her party were fashionable Bostonians.
I happened to be near the hostess, when the guests 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
of the evening entered.  She received them with
her usual Frenchty ease and playfulness of manner,
and it seemed that the gentleman was an old friend
of hlers, but did not know her husband. Ile expressed the hope that Dr. J's professional duties
would not deprive them of his society the whole
evening, as he much desired the pleasure of his
acquaintance.   I saw, by the heightening of her
color, that M, woman of the world though she
be, felt the unintended sarcasm of this polite language; for Dr. J. was calmly ensconced in the deep
recess of a large fauteuil in the corner of the fire.
place, apparently enjoying the glowing coal-fire
that alwvays adds its cheerful influence to the elegant belongings of M's splendid drawing-room.
Throughout the entire evening our effigy of a host
kept his post, where we found him on entering.
People went to him, chatted a while, and moved
away; we danced, refreshments were served, wine
was quaffed,
"' All went merry as a marriage bell;'
Zf     glided about firom group to group, with an
appropriate word, or courteous attention for each
one, and, in addition to the flowers that adorned the
rooms, presented the bride of her old friend with an
exquisite bouquet, saying, in her pretty way, that
she would have been delighted to receive her in a
bower of roses, when she learned from Mr.     how
much she liked flowers, but that Flora was in a pet
with her since she had given up her old conservatory
199 
200     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
at her father's. As the evening waned, I observed
her weariness, despite the hospitable smile; and well
she might be! Several times she slipped away to
her babe; once, when I stood near her, she started
slightly: "I thought I heard a nursery-cry," she
whispered to me, "my  little boy is not well tonight;" and I missed her soon after.  When I went
away, I, of course, sought the master of the house
to say good-night. Hie half rose, with a half smile,
in recognition of my adieu, and re-settled himself,
apparently wholly unconscious of any possible occasion for further effort!   But the climax, in true
epic style, was reserved for the finale. It was a
frightfully stormy night, and when we came down
to the street door to go away, there stood 1\-, in
her thin dress, the cold wind and sleet-rain rushing
in when the door was opened, enough to carry away
her fairy figure, seeing of ]er fSitend and da8 bride!"
"My dear Miss C —," exclaimed a gentleman;
after listening to the complaint of a lady who had
just been charging the lords of creation with the
habitual discourtesy of retaining their hats when
speaking to ladies, in stores and shops, as well as in
public halls and even in the drawing-room; "1My
dear Miss C, don't you know that'Young
America' always wears his hat and boots wheneve2
he ca e 2"   7
"Does he sleep in them?" inquired the lady. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
"Well, my dears," I overheard a high-bred and
exceedingly handsome man inquiring of two lovely
English girls, on board a steamer the other day,
"low did you succeed in your efforts to dine to-day?
I will not again permit you to be separated from
your aunt and me, if we find the table ever so
crowded."
"But we had Charley, you know, sir," returned
one of the fair interlocutors, with a smile worthy of
Hebe herself.
"True, but Charley is only a child; and boys as
well as women fare ill at public tables in this'land
of liberty and equality,' unless aided by some powerful assistant!"
"I thought we  had found  such a  champion
to-day," exclaimed the other lady, "in the person
who sat next me at dinner. His hands were so nice
that I should not have objected in the least to his
offering me such dishes as were within his reach,
especially as there seemed to be no servant to attend
us, and we really sat half through the first course
without bread or water. Itaving nothing else to do,
for some time, I quietly amused myself with
observing my courteous neighbor.   So wholly absorbed did he seem in his own contemplations, so
utterly oblivious of everything around him, except
the contents of his heaped-up plate, that I soon
became convinced that I had the honor to be in
close proximity to a philosopher, at least, and
9*
201 
202     THiE AMIERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
probably to some fixed star in the realms of
science!"
"Oh, Clare! I am  so sorry to tell you, but I
learned afterwards. accidentally, that your profoundlooking neighbor is-a dentist!"
" And, therefore, accustomed only to the  most
painful associations with  he mnouths of others!"
chimed in the aristocrat, laughing in chorus:
"Well, as our shrewd, sensible friend, the daughter
of the Siddons, used to say, after her return from
America,'if the Americans profess to be all equoal,
they should be egually well bred!'"
With a repetition of this doubly sarcastic apothegm, my dear friends, for the present,
Adieu!
lHARRY LUNETTES. 
no POLITENESS AND FASHION.
LETTER VII.
HEALTHI THE TOILET% ETC.
MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
SINCE no man can fulfill his destiny as an
actively-useful member of society without Health,
perhaps a few practical suggestions on this important subject may not be inconsistent with our present
purpose.
The only reliable foundation upon which to base
the hope of securing permanent possession of this
greatest of earthly blessings, is the early acquisition
of Habits of Temperance.
In a proper sense of the word, Temperance is an
all-inclusive term-it does not mean abstaining from
strong drink, only, nor from over-eating, nor from
any one form of self-indulgence or dissipation; but
it requires moder,ation  in all things, for its full
illustration.
It was this apprehension of the term that was
truthfully exhibited in the long, useful, consistent
life of our distinguished countryman,  John  Quincy
Adams. Habits formed in boyhood, in strict accord
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k 
204    TIE AMEnICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
ante with this principle, and adhered to in every
varying phase of circumstance throughout his prolonged existence, were the proximate cause of his
successful and admirable career. And what a career! How triumphantly successful, how worthy of
admiration! More than half a century did lhe
serve his country, at home and  abroad,  dying
at last, with his armor on,-a watchman, faithful,
even unto death, upon the ramparts of the Citadel,
where Justice, Truth, and Freedom have found a last
asylum. Think you that the intellectual and moral
purposes of his being could have been borne out
by the most resolute exercise of will, but for the
judicious training of the physique?. Or could the
higher attributes of his nature have been developed,
indeed, in conjunction with a body cabined, cribbed
and confined by the enervating influence of youthful
self-indulgence?  Born on
"Stern New-England's rocky shore,"
no misnamed luxury shrouded his frame from the
discipline of that Teacher, "around whose steps the
mountain breezes blow, and from whose countenance
all the virtues gather strength."  You are, doubtless,
all familiar with Mr. Adams' habits of early rising,
bathing, etc. The latter, even, he maintained until
within two years of his death, bathing in an open
stream each morning, if his locality permitted the
enjoyment, at a very early hour. I have his own
authority for the fact that lie, during the different periods of his public sojourn abroad, laved his 
TO POLI'IENESS AND FASHION.
vigoro.us frame in almnost every river of Europe!
Franklin, too, ascribed his triumph over the obstacles
that obstructed his early path to a strict adherence
to the rules of Temperance. And so, indeed, with
most of the truly great men whose names illumine
the pages of our country's history:-I might multiply examples almost ad infnt~ium, but your own
reading will enable you to endorse the correctness of
mny assertion.
Since we have, incidentally, alluded to the Bath, in
connection with the example of Mr. Adams, let us
commence the consideration of personal habits, with
this agreeable and essential accessory of Health.
Though authorities may differ respecting some
minor details with regard to bathing, I believe medical testimony all goes to sanction its adoption by
all persons, in some one of its modifications. Constitutional peculiarities should always be consulted
in the establishment of individual rules,-hence no
general directions can be made applicable to all persons. The cold bath, though that most frequently
adopted by persons in health, is, no doubt, injurious
in some cases, and careful observation alone can
enable each individual to establish the precise temperature at which his ablutions will be most beneficial.
But, while the most scrupulous and unvarying regard for cleanliness should be considered of
primary importance, the indiscreet use of the bath
should be avoided with equal care.  Bishop Heber,
one of the best and most useful of men, sacrificed
205 
206   "HE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
himself in the midst of a career of eminent piety, to
an imprudent use of this luxury, arising either from
ignorance or inadvertency. After rising very early
to baptize several native converts recently made in
India, the field of his labors, he returned to his bungalow in a state of exhaustion from excitement and
abstinence, and, without taking any nourishment,
threw himself into a bath, and soon after expired!No one can safely resort to the bath when the bodily
powers are much weakened, by whatever cause;
and though it is unwise to use it directly after taking
a full meal, it should not immediately precede the
chief meal of the day, if that be taken at a late hour,
and after prolonged abstinence and exertion.
The art of switnm7ng early acquired, affords the
most agreeable and beneficial mode of bathing, not
to dwell upon its numerous recommendations in other
respects; but when this enjoyment cannot be secured,
nor even the luxury of an immersion bath, luckily for
health, comfort, and propriety, the means of sponge
balthing may always be secured, at least in this
country (wherever it has risen above barbarism),
though I must say that frequently during my travels
in England, and even through towns boasting good
hotels, I found water and towels at a high premium,
and very difficult of acquisition at that! Sponging
the whole person upon rising, either in cold or tepid
water, as individual experience proves best, with the
use of the Turkish towel, or some similar mode of
friction, is one of the best preparations for a day of
useful exertion. 
ro POLITENESS AND FASHION.
This practice has collateral advantages, inasmuch
as it naturally leads to attention to all the details of
the toilet essentially connected with refinement and
health-to proper care of the Ilair, Teeth, Nails, etc.,
-in short, to a neat and suitable arrangement of the
dress before leaving one's apartment in the morning.
To slippered age belongs the indulgence of a careless
morning toilet; but with the morning of life we properly associate readiness for action in some pursuit
demanding steady and prolonged exertion, early
begun, and with every faculty and attribute in full
exercise.
Fashion sanctions so many varying modes of wearing or not wearing the hair, that no directions can be
given in relation to it, except such as enjoin the avoid.
ance of all fantastic dressing, and the observance of
entire neatness with relation to it. Careful brushing,
together with occasional ablutions, will best preserve
this natural ornament; and I would, also, suggest the
use of such pomades only as are most delicately
scented. No gentleman should go about like a
walking perfumer's shop, redolent, not of
"Sabean odors from the spicy shores
Of Araby the Blest,"
but of spirits of turpentine, musk, etc.,' commixed
and commingled' in' confusion worse confounded'
to all persons possessed of a nicety of nervous organization. All perfumes for the handkerchiefs, or wvorn
about the person, should be, not only of the most
unexceptionable kind, but uised in very moderate
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208     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
quantities. Their profuse use will ill supply the
neglect of the bath, or of the proper care of the teeth
and general toilet.
The Teeth cannot be too carefully attended to by
those who value good looks, as well as health. And
nothing tends more towards their preservation than
the habitual use of the brush, before retiring, as well
as in the morning.  The use of some simple uninju rious adjunct to the brush may be well; but pure
water and the brush, faithfully applied, will secure
cleanliness-the great preservative of these essential
concomitants of manly beauty. If you use tobacco
-(and I fervently hope none of you who have not
the habit will ever allow yourselves to acquire it!)
-but if you are, unfortunately, enslaved by the
habit, never omit to rinse the mouth thoroughly
after smoking (I will not admit the possibility, that
any young man, in this age of progressive refinement,
is addicted to habitual chewing), and never substitute the use of a strong odor for this proper observance, especially when going into the society of
ladies. Smoke dispellers must yield the palm to the
purifying effects of the unadulterated element, after
all.
The utmost nicety in the care of the.ails, is an
indispensable part of a gentleman's toilet. They
should be kept of a moderate length, as well as clean
and smooth. Avoid all absurd forms, and inconvenient length, in cutting them, which you will firnd it
easiest to do neatly while they are softened by washl
ing, and the use of the nail-brush. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
Properly fitted boots and shoes, together with fre
quent bathing, will best secure the feet from the
torturing excrescences by which poor mortals are
so often affilicted. The addition of salt to the footbath, if persevered in, will greatly protect them from
the painful effects of over-walking, etc.
I think that under the head of Dress, in one of my
earliest letters, I expressed my opinion regarding
the essentials of refinement and comfort as connected with this branch of the toilet. I will only
say, in this connection, that a liberal supply of linen,
hosiery, etc., should be regarded as of more importance than outside display, and that the most enlightened economy suggests the employment of
the best materials, the most skillful manufacturers,
and the unrestrained use of these " aids and appli
ances" of gentleman-like propriety, comfort, and
health.
The best and surest mode of securing ample and
certain leisure for needful attention to the minutiae of
the toilet is Early Rising, a habit that, in addition to
the healthful influence it exerts upon the physique,
collaterally, promotes the minor moralities of life in
a wonderful degree, and really is one of the fundamentals of success in whatever pursuit you may be
engaged. Hlere, again, permit me to refer you to
the examples of the truly great men of history-those
of our own land will suffice-Washington, Frank.
lin, Adams, and, though inconsistent with his habits
in some other respects, Webster. Of the latter, it is
well known, that he did not trim the midnight lamp
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210     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
for purposes of professional investigation or mental
labor of any kind, but rose early to such tasks, with
body and mind invigorated for ready and successful
exertion.  I have seen few things from his powerful
pen, more pleasingly written than his Euloyy upon
lllorniny, as it may properly be called, tliough 1
don't know that to be the title of an article written
by him in favor of our present theme, in which
erudition and pure taste contend for supremacy with
convincing argument.
But to secure the full benefit of early r;sing, my
young friends, you must also, establish the habit of
retirng early and regularly.  No  one  dogma of
medical science, perhaps, is more fully borne out by
universal experience  than this, that "two hours'
sleep before midnight is worth all obtained afterwards."   To  seek  repose  before  the system  is
too far over-taxed for quiet, refreshing rest, and
before the brain has been aroused from the quiescence natural to the evening hours, into renewed
and unhealthy action, is most consistent with the
laws of health.  And, depend upon it, though the
elasticity of youthful constitutions may, for a time,
resist the pernicious effects of a violation of these
laws, the hour will assuredly come, sooner or later, to
all, when the lez talionis will be felt in resistless
power. Fashion and Nature are sadly at war on this
point, as I am fully aware; but the edicts of the one
are immutable, those of the other are proverbially
fickle.
Students, especially, should regard obedience te 
ro POLITENESS AND FASHION.
the wiser of the two as imperative.   The mental
powers, as well as the physical, demand this-the
"mind's eye" as well as the organs of outward vision,
will be found, by experiment, to possess the clearer
and quicker discernment during those hours when,
throughout the domains of Nature, all is activity,
healthfulness and visible beauty. And no peculiarity of circumstance or inclination will ever make
that healthful which is unnatural. Hience thle wisdom of est abli,3Ain7 habits consistent with health,
while no obstacle exists to their easy acquisition
There is an experiment on record made by two
generals, each at the head of an army on march, in
warm weather, over the same route. The one led
on his troops by day, the other chose the cooler
hours for advancing, and reposed while the sun was
abroad. In all other respects, their arrangements
were similar. At the end of ten or twelve days, the
result convincingly proved that exertion even under
mid-summer heat is most healthfully made while the
stimulus of solar light sustains the system, and that
sleep is most refreshing and beneficial in all respects
when sought while the hush and obscurity of the
outer world assist repose.
But if, as the nursery doggerel wisely declares,
"Early to bed and early to rise,
Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise,"
there must be united with this rational habit, others
each equally important toethe full advantage to be
derived from all combined.
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212     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMIAN5S GUIDE
Among these, Exercise holds a prominent rank
As with the bath, this is most effectually employed
for health before the system is exhausted by mental
labor.
Among the numerous modes of exercise, none is so
completely at command at all times and under all
circumstances, as walking. But the full benefit of
this exercise, is not often enjoyed by the inhabitants
of cities, by reason of the impure air that is almost
necessarily inhaled in connection with it. Still, it is
not impossible to obviate this difficulty by a little
pains.  The early riser and the rapid _pedestrian may
in general, easily secure time to seek daily one of
the few and limited breathing-places that, though in
this regard we are vastly inferior to Europeans in taste
and good sense, even our American cities supply,
either, like what they indeed are, lung,s in the very
centre of activity, or at no unapproachable distance
from it. Do not forget that vegetation, while it
sends forth noxious influences at night, exales oxygen and other needful food for vitality, in the
qnorning, especially; nor that an erect  carriage,
which alone gives unobstructed play to the organs of
respiration and digestion, is requisite, together with
considerable activity of movement, to secure the
legitimate results of walkin,g.
Students, and others whose occupations are of a
sedentary character, sometimes adopt the practice
of taking a long walk periodically.   This is, no
doubt, promotive of health, provided it is not at first
carried to an extreme. All such habits should be 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
gradually formed, and their formation commenced
and pursued with due respect for physiological rules.
Mr. Combe, the distinguished phrenologist-in  his
"Constitution of Man," I think, relates an instance
of a young person, in infirm health and unaccustomed to such exertion, who undertook a walk of twenty
miles, to be accomplished without interruption.
The first seven or eight miles were achieved with
ease and pleasure to the pedestrian, but thenceforth
discomfort and final exhaustion should have been a
sufficient warning to the tyro to desist from his selfappointed task.  A  severe illness was the consequence and punishment of his ignorant violation of
physiological laws.
By the way, I cannot too strongly recommend to
your careful perusal the various works of Dr. Andrew
Combe, long the physician of the amiable King of
Belgium, in relation to that and kindred subjects.
His "Physiology as applied to Mental Health," is
replete with practical suggestions and advice of the
most instructive and important nature, as are also
his "Dietetics," etc.
Himself an incurable invalid, he maintained the
vital forces through many years of eminent usefulness to others, only by dint of the most strenuous
adherence to the strictest requirements of the Science
of the Physique.   The writings of his brother, Mr.
George Combe, and especially the work I have just
mentioned, the "Constitution of Man," also abound
in lessons of practical usefulness, which may be
adopted irrespective of his peculiar phrenological
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214     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
views.  In the multitude of newer publications these
admirable books are already hlalf-forgotten, but my
limited reading has afforded me no knowledge of
anything  superior to them, as text-books for the
young.
-niding and driving need no recommendation to
insure their popularity, as means of exercise. Both
have many pleasure and health-giving attractions.
Every young man should endeavor to acquire a
thorough knowledge of both riding and driving, not
firom a desire to emulate the ignoble achicvments of
a horse-jockey, but as proper accomplitshmezts for a
gentleman.
The possession of a fine horse is a prolific source
of high and innocent enjoyment, and may often be
secured by those whose purses are Inot taxed foi
cigar and wine!  Nothing caln be more exhilarating
than the successful management of this spirited and
generous animal, whether under the saddle or in harness! Even plethoric, ponderous old Dr. Johnson,
admitted that " few things are so exciting as to be
drawn rapidly along in a post-chaise, over  a smooth
road, by a fine horse!"
Let me repeat, however, that young men should
be content to promote health and enjoyment by the
moderate, gentleman-like gratification of the pride
of slkill, in this respect. Like many other amusements,  though   entirely innocent  and unexceptionable when reasonably indulged in, its abluse
leads inevitably to the most debasing consequences.
-Our dusty high-roads very ill supply the place of 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
the extensive public Parks and gardens that furnish
such agreeable places of resort for both riding and
driving, as well as for pedestrians, in most of the large
cities of Europe, but one may, at least, secure better
air and more freedom of space by resorting to tlihem
than to the streets, for every form of exercise. And
as it is a well established fact that agreeable and
novel associations for both the eye and the mind are
essential concomitants of beneficial exercise, we have
every practical consideration united to good taste in
favor of eschewing the streets whenever fate permits.
"Oh! how canst thou renounce the boundless store
Of charms which Nature to her votaries yields, The warbling woodland, the resounding shore,
The pomp of groves and garniture of fields;
All that the genial ray of morning gilds,
And all that echoes to the song of even,
All that the mountain's sheltering bosom shields,
And all the dread magnificence of Heaven; 0! how canst thou renounce and hope to be forgiven!"
BEATTIE
Eating and drinking7 are too closely connected
with our general subject of health, to be forgotten
here.
That regard for Temperalnce which I have endeavored to commend to you, of course yields a prominent place to habits in these respects.
In relation to eating, I strongly recommend the
cultivation of sinmple tastes, and the careful avoidance of every indulgence tending towards sensuality
215 
216     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
Some knowledge of Dietetics is essential to the adoption of right opinions and practice on this point.
For instance, no man should wait for dire experience
to enforce the truths that roast and broiled meats
possess the most nutritious qualities; that all fried
dishes are, necessarily, more or less unwholesome;
that animal oils and fatty substances require stronger
digestive force for their assimilation than persons of
sedentary life usually possess; that warm bread, as a
rule, is unsuited to the human stomach, etc., etc.
To one should consider these matters unworthy of
serious attention, though temporarily free from inconvenience arising from neglecting them. Eventually,
every human constitution will exhibit painful proofs
of all outrages committed upon the laws by which
its operations are governed; and the greater the
license permitted in youth, the severer will be the
penalty exacted in after vears.
" Mind and Body are so close combined,
Where Health of Body, Health of Mind you find."
Pieserve, then, as you value the means of useful
ness, the perfect play of your mental powers-so
easily tramnmelled by the clogging of the machinery
of the body-the unadulterated taste that is content
with a sufficiency of wholesome, well-cooked food to
satisfy the demands of healthful appetite.  Cultivate
no love of concliments, sauces and stimulants; indulge
no ambition to excel in dressing salads, classifying
ragouts, or in demonstrating, down to the nicety of
.1 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
a single ingredient, the distinction between a home made and an imported'ate de foie gras! Distinctions such as these may suffice for the worn-out
society of a corrupt civilization, but our countrymen
-:,N —should shout EXCELSIOR!
Abstract rules in relations to the hours proper for
taking meals, however carefully adapted to the security of- health, in themselves considered, must, of
necessity, give place to those artificially imposed by
custom and convenience. Thus, though the practice
of dining late is not sanctioned by Hygeia, it admits
of question, whether, as the usages of the businessworld at present exists, it is not a wiser custom than
any other permitted by circumstance.
All who have given any attention to the subject know, that neither bodily nor mental labor
can be either comfortably or successfully pursued
directly after a full meal. Hience, then, those whose
occupations require their attention during several
successive hours, may find the habit of dining after
the more imperative labors of the day are accomplished, most conducive to health as well as convenience.
Still, it should not be forgotten, that long abstinence is likely to produce the exhaustion that tells
so surely and seriously upon the constitution, of
young persons especially. This may be prevented
by taking, systematically, a little light, simple
nutriment, sufficient to produce what is aptly
termed the stim,uls of distention in that much
10
217 
218     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
abused organ-the stomach. This practice regularly
adhered to, will also promote a collateral advantage,
by acting as a security against the too keen sharpening of appetite that tends to repletion in eating,
and which sometimes produces results similar to
those exhibited by a boa-constrictor after dining
upon a whole buffalo, swallowed without the previous ceremony of carving!  One should never dine
so heartily as to be unfitted for the subsequent
enjoyment of society, or of the lighter pursuits of
literature.  DeiSberate and thoroug/l mastication will
more beneficially, and quite as pleasurably, prolong
the enjoyments of the table, as a more hurried
disposal of a large quantity of food. And really I
do not know how the most rigid economist of time,
or the most self-sacrificing devotee either of Mammon or of Literature, can more judiciously devote
an hour of each day than to the single purpose of
dining!
Happily for those whose self-respect does not
always furnish the sustaining power requisite for
the maintenance of a principle, fashion no loinger
requires of any man the use of even wine, much
less of stronger beverages. And with reference to
the use of all alcoholic stimulants, as well as of
tobacco, I would remind you that those only who are
rot einszaved by appette, are FRE!   If you have
acquired a liking for wine or tobacco, and would
abjure either, or both, you will soon be convinced,
by experiment, of the truth of Dr. Johnson's saying, 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
of which, by the way, his own life furnished a
striking illustration, that "abstinence is easier tharn
ternperance."
To prolong arguments against the habits of smoking and drinking, were a work of supererogation,
here. I will advance but one, which may, possibly,
possess the merit of novelty. Both have the effect,
materially to limit our enjoyment of the presence
and conversation of
"Heaven's last, best gift to man!"
I cannot better dismiss this important topic than
by quoting the following passage from the writings
of Sir Walter Raleigh:
"Except thou desire to hasten thy end, take this
for a general rule-that thou never add any artificial heat to thy body by wine or spice, until thou
find that time hath decayed thy natural heat; the
sooner thou dost begin to help nature the sooner she
will forsake thee, and leave thee to trust altogether
to art."
In my youth, advice to young men was constantly
commingled —whatever its general tenor-with admonitions regarding the necessity for industry and
perseverance in those who would achieve worldly
success. In these utilitarian times, when all seem
borne along upon a resistless current, hurrying to
the attainment of some practical end, engrossed by
schemes of political ambition, or devoted to the
acquisition of wealth, a quiet looker-on-as I am
wont to regard myself-is tempted to counsel
219
1.I 
220    THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
"( moderation in all things," contentment with the
legitimate results of honorable effort, the cultivation
of habits of daily relaxation from the severity of
toil, of daily rest from the mental tension that is
demanded for successful competition in the arena of
life.
The impression that steep is a sufficient restorative
from the wearing effects of otherwise ceaseless labor,
or that chaage of occupation furnishes all the relief
that nature requires in this respect, is, undoubtedly,
erroneous.  " The man," says an eminent student of
humanity, " who does not now allow himself two
hours for relaxation after dinner, will be compelled
to devote more time than that daily to the care of
his health, eventually."
To allow  one's self to be so engrossed by any
pursuit, however laudable in itself, as to reserve no
leisure for the claims of Society, of Friendship, of
Taste, is so irrational as to need nothing but reflection to render it apparent. In a merely utilitarian
view, it is unwise, since, as Esop has demonstrated,
the bow that is never unbent soon ceases to be fit
for use; but there is, surely, a higher consideration,
addressed to the reason of man. Pope embodies it,
in part, in the lines
-     "God is paid when man receives,
To enjoy is to obey!"
To have an aim, a purpose in life, sufficiently engrossing to act as an incentive to the exercise of all
the powers of being, is essential to heath and happi 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
ness. But to pursue any one object to the exclu.
sion of all considerations for self-culture and intellectual enjoyment, is destructive of everything
worthy that name.
They who devote all the exertions of youth and
manhood to the acquisition of political distinction, or
of gold, for instance-cherishing, meanwhile, a sort
of Arcadian dream of ultimately enjoying the pleasures of intellectual communion, or the charms of
the natural world, when the heat and burden of the
conflict of life shall be done-exhlibit a most deplorable ignorance of the truth that they will possess in
age only the crippled capacities that disuse has
almost wholly robbed of vitality, together with such
as are prematurely worn out by being habitually
overtaxed.
On the contrary, those who believe that
"It is not all of life to live,"
and early establish a true standard of excellence, and
acquaint themselves with the immutable laws of our
being, will so commingle self-ennobling pursuits and
enjoyments with industrious and well-directed attention to the needful demands of practical life, as to
secure as much of ever-present happiness as falls to
the lot of humanity, together with the enviable
retrospection of an exalted ambition, rightly fulfilled.
They may also hope for the invaluable possession of
intellectual and moral developments to be matured
in that state of existence of which this is but the
embryo.  These are truisms, I admit, my  young
221 
222     THE'AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
friends, yet the spirit of the age impels their itera
tion and re-iteration!
Burke's musical periods lamented the departure
of the "age of chivalry."  Would that one gifted as
he may revive the waning existence of the social
and domestic virtues, and inspire my young coun
trymen with an ambition too lofty in its aspirations
to permit the sacrifice of mental and moral powers
of natural affections, and immortal aspirations, upon
the altars of Mammon!-shrines now yearly receiv
ing from our country a holycaust of sacrifices, to
which the plains of Mexico are as naught in compa
rison.
But to return from this unpremeditated digression
Natural tastes and individual circumstances must
to a considerable extent, determine the relaxation
and amusements most conducive to enjoyment and
health.
You will scarcely need to be told that persons of
sedentary habits, and especially those devoted to
literary occupations, should make exercise in the
open  air a daily recreation, and that it will bes
subserve the purposes of pleasure and health when
united with the advantages arising from cheerftu
companionshp.
Hence the superiority of walking, riding, driving
boating, and sporting in its various forms, to all in
door exercises and amusements-and especially t(
those tending rather to tax the brain than exercise
the body-for those whose mental Cowers are mos
taxed by their avocations. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
On the other hand, there are those to whom the
,ighter investigations of literature and science afford
the most appropriate relief from the toils of business.
Permit me, however, to enter my protest against
the belief that a change from the labors and duties
of city life to the close sleeping-rooms, the artificiality and excitement of a fashionable watering-place
affords a proper and healthful relief to a weary body
and an overwrought brain.   Life at a wateringplace is no more an equivalent for the pure air, the
simple habits, the wholesome food, the repose of
mind and heart, afforded by unadulterated country
life, than immersion in a bathing-tub is a satisfactory substitute for swimming in a living stream, or
a contemplation of the most exquisite picture of
rural scenes, for a glorious canter amid green fields
and over breezy hills! Nor will dancing half the
night in heated rooms, late suppers, bowling-alleys
and billiards, not to speak of still more objectionable
indulgences, restore these devotees to study or business to their city-homes re-invigorated for renewed
action, as will the least laborious employments of the
farmer, thie "sportive toil" of the naturalist, the
varied enjoyments of the traveller amid the wonders of our vast primeval forests, or of the voyager
who explores the attractions of our unrivalled chain
of inland lakes. People who do their thinking by
proxy, and regulate their enjoyments by the on dit
of the fashionable world, yearly spend money enough
at somne crowded resort of the beau monde (heaven
save the mark!) to enable them to make the tour of
223
r, 
224     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN 7S GUIDE
Europe, or buy a pretty villa and grounds in the
country, or do some deed c; twice blessed," in that
"it blesseth him that gives and him that takes."
In Scotland, in England, in the North of Europe generally, men and women whose social position necessarily involves refinement of habits and education,
go, in little congenial parties, into the mountains
and among the lakes, visit spots renowned in song
and story, collect specimens of the wonders of natuLre, " camp out," as they say at the West, eat simply, dress rationally-in short, really rusticate, in
happy independence alike of the thraldom of fashion
and the supremacy of convention. Thus in the Old
World, among the learned, the accomplished, the
high-born. Here in Young America-let the sallow
cheek, the attenuated limbs, the dull eye and blase
air of the youthful scions of many a noble old Revolutionary stock, attest only too truly, a treasonous
slavery to the most arbitrary and remorseless of
tyrants! Would that they may serve, at least, as
beacons to warn you, seasonably, against adding
yourselves to the denizens of haunts where
9
" Unwieldly wealth, and cumbrous pomp repose;
And every want to luxury allied,
And every pang that folly pays to pride I"
I would that all my young countrymen might
have looked upon the last hours of my revered
friend, John Quincy Adams, and thus learned the 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
impressive lessons taught by that solemn scene;
lessons that-to use his owil appropriate language
-" bid us seize the moments as they pass,
Snatch the retrieveless sun-beam as it flies,
Nor lose one sand of life's revolving glass   Aspiring still, with energy sublime,
By virtuous deeds to give Eternity to Time I"*
It was, indeed, a fitting close of his long, noble
life! Faithful to his duty to his country, he maintained his post to the last, and fell, like a true defender of liberty-renouncing his weapons only with
his life. Borne from the arena of senatorial strife to
a couch hastily prepared beneath the same roof that
had so often echoed his words of dauntless eloquence, attended by mourning friends, and receiving the tender ministrations of the companion alike
of his earlier and later manhood, the flickering lamp
of life slowly expired. After, apparently, reviewing
the lengthened retrospection of a temperate, rational,
useful life, from the boyish years
'Whose distant footsteps echoed through the corridors of Time,'
to the dying efforts of genius and patriotism, the
hushed stillness of that hallowed chamber at length
rendered audible the sublime words-"IT Is THE
LAST OF EARTHI I AM CONTENT!"
* Concluding lines of Mr. Adams' "Address to the  Sun-])ia!
*ande? the window of the Hall of the House of Representatives."
10*
225
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226     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN7'S GUIDE
I think it was during the administration of Sir
Charles Bagot, the immediate successor of LIord
D)urham, as Governor General of the Canadas, that I
had the pleasure to dine one day, at the house of a
distinguished civilian who held office under him, in
company with the celebrated traveller L, and
his friend, the well-known E       G        W, a
man who, despite wealth, rank, and talent, paid a
life-long penalty for a youthful error. There were,
also, present several members of the Provincial Parliament, then in session at Kingston, which was, at
that time, the seat of government, and a number of
ladies-those of the party of Americans with whom
I was travelling, and some others.
The conversation, very naturally, turned upon the
national peculiarities of the Yankees-as the English
call, not the inhabitants of New England alone, but
the people of the North American States generallyin consequence of the fact that the world-wide traveller had just completed his first visit to our country.
Some one asked him a leading question respecting
his impressions of us as a people, and more than one
good-humored sally was given and parried among
us.  At length L      said, so audibly and gravely as
to arrest the attention of the whole company:
" I have really but two serious faults to charge
upon Jonathan."
"May I be permitted to inquire what those are?'
returned I. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHlION.
"That he repudiates his debts,* and doesn't take
time to ceat is dinner."
When the general laugh had subsided, Mr. W
remarked that, except when at the best hotels in
the larger cities, he had found less inducement for
dining deliberately in the United States than in most
civilized lands he had visited, in consequence of the
prevalent bad cookery.
"The words of Goldsmith," said he,
"'Heaven sends us good meat, but the devil sends cooks!'
were always present to my mind when at table
there!  Key  eschew honest cold roast beef, as
though there were poison in meat but once cooked,
served a second time, though Hamlet is authority for
o)Ur taste in that respect.-The cold venison you did
me the honor to compliment so highly, at lunch, this
morning, L, would have been offered you fried
by our good Yankee cousins!"
"The patron saint of la cuisine forefend!" cried
a smooth-browed Englishman -"not  re-cooked, I
hlope?"
"Assuredly!" returned W, "I trust these ladies
and Colonel Lunettes will pardon me,-but such infamious stupidity is quite common. I soon learned, however, the secret of preserving my "capacious stomach"
in unimpaired capacity for action, [an irresistibly
* This allusion was to Pennsylvania, particularly, then, tempora —
rily, in bad odor, abroad, at least.
227 
228     THIE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
comic glance downward upon his portly person] and
could, I thought, very readily explain
'What is't that takes from them
Their stomach, pleasures, and their golden sleep,
Why they do bend their eyes upon the earth,
In thick ey'd musing and curs'd melancholy*    * *'
In thick ey'd musing and curs'd melancholy!"'
*
If the frank denunciations of this eccentric
observer of life and manners might otherwise have
been regarded as impolite, his more severe comments
upon his own countrymen proved, at least, that no
national partiality swayed his judgment.
I remember his telling me the followin anecdote,
as we chatted over our coffee, after joininrhe ladies
in the evening:-Iln answer to some inquiry on my
part, respecting the social condition of the _peoplethe peasantry, as hlie called them, of the Provinces,
he spoke in unmitigated condemnation of their ignorance, and especially of their insolence and boorishness.  "Get L —  to tell you," said he, "how nearly he and his servants were frozen to death one fierce
night, while an infernal gate-keeper opposed his
road-right.  Then, again, the other morning, Mrs.
M       (our hostess)  who  like every other  lady
here, except, perhaps, Lady Bagot, goes to market
every day, was referred by a man, firom whom she
inquired for potatoes, to an old crone, with the words
-' This lady sell them, —here is a wooman who wants
to buy potatoes!"'
The following morning, while our Amnerican party 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
were driving out to the superb Fort that protects the
Hiarbor of Kingston, to visit which we had been
politely furnished with a permit by an official friend,
I endear-red to draw from a very charming and
accomplished lady the secret of her unusual silence
and reserve at dinner the evening before. She is
really a celebrity, as much for her remarkable conversational powers, as for any )tiler reason, perhaps,
and I had, therefore, the more regretted her not
joining in the conversation.
"What made the mystery more difficult of solution," said one of the other ladies, "was the equally
imperturbable gravity of that handsome Frenchman
who sat beside Virginia."
" Handsome!" retorted Virginia, "' do you call that
man handsome!-his high cheek bones and swarthy
complexion show his Indian blood rather too plainly
for my taste, I must confess."
"That commingling of races is very common here,
Virginia," said I, "Mr. E        is a somewhat pro
minent member of the Canadian Parliament. I heard
a speech from him, in French, yesterday morning,
which was listened to with marked attention. There
were a number of ladies in the side-boxes, too, and
it is evident from his attention to his dress, if for no
other reason, that Mr. E — is an elegant!"
"All that may be," rejoined Virginia, "but I have
no fancy for light blue'unwhisperables,' as Tom
calls them, nor for ruffled shirts!"
"'A change has come o'er the spirit of your dream,
most queenly daughter  of the'sunny South!'-is
229 
230    THE AME-RICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
this the sprightly Americaine who won all hearts the
other day on the St. Lawrence,-from that magnificent British officer, to the quiet old priest whose very
beard seemed to laugh, at least,"- --
"That, indeed, Col. Lunettes!-but for your everready gallantry I would exclaim
"' Man delights me not, nor woman either!'
but here we are at the entrance of the famous donjon keep!"
We spent some time in examining the-to the
ladies-novel attractions of the place. By-and-by, the
fair Virginia, who had strayed off a little by herself;
called to me to come and explain the mode of using a
port-hole to her. In a few minutes, she said, in a low
tone, sitting down, as she spoke upon a dismounted
cannon, "Col. Lunettes, I beg you not to allude again
to that-to the dinner, yesterday, or, at least, to my
embarrassment "  "Your embarrassment, my dear girl!" I exclaimed,  you astonish me!   Do explain yourself"
"iEush," returned my companion, looking furtively over her shoulder, "that young Englishman seems
to be engrossing the attention of the rest of the party,
and, perhaps, I shall have time to tell you "
"Do, my dear, if anything has annoyed yousurely so old a friend may claim your confidence."
"I have heard of the' son of a gun,'" replied
she, evidently making a strong effort to recall the
niatural sprightliness that seemed so singularly to
have deserted her of late; "I don't see why I am 
TO POLITENESS AND  FASHION.
not the dauqgter of a gun, at this moment, and so
entitled to be verv brave!  Put about this Mr.
E, Colonel," she almost whispered, bending her
head so as to screen her face from my observation.
"You know iMrs. MN,   - called for me the other
morning to go and walk with her alone, because, as
she said, she wanted to talk a little about old times,
when we were in the convent  school at C
together.  Well, as we came to a little "shop," as
she styled it-a hardware store, we should say —she
begged me to go in with her a moment, while she
gave some directions about a hall-stove, saying, with
an apology:  "We  wives of government officers
here, do all these things, as a matter of course."
While she walked back in the place, I very naturally remained near the door, amusing myself by
observing what was passing in the street. Presently, a fine horse arrested my eye, as he caine
prancing along. His rider seemed to have some ado
to control him, as I thought, at first, but I suddenly
became aware that he was endeavoring to stop him,
in mid career, and that, when he succeeded-he-I
-there was no mistaking it-his glance almost petrified me, in short, and I had only just power to turn
quickly in search of Birs. M."
The slight form of the speaker quivered visibly,
and she paused abruptly.
"Why, my poor child," said I, soothingly, " never
mind it! Hiow can you allow such a thing to distress you in this way?"
"If anything of the kind had ever happened to me
231 
232      H AMFRICAN GENTLEiMAN'S GUIDE
before, I should have thought it my fault, in some
way; but when I got back to our hotel, and
reviewed the whole matter, and-but there come
the rest of the party "-she added, hurriedly.  "Do
you wonder now at my manner at the dinner? I
knew his face the moment the man entered the dining room; and when Mr. M       introduced him, and
requested him to conduct me, the burning glow that
flashed over his swarthy brow convinced me that
he, too, recognized  me.   I would  sooner have
encountered a basilisk than your elegant, parlia.
mentary Frenchman!"
" Doctor, what may I eat?" inquired a dyspeptic
American, who had just received a prescription
from Abernethy-the eccentric and celebrated English physician
"Eat?" thundered the disciple of Galen, ithe
poker and tongs, if you will chew them welt!"
What a commingling of nations and characters
there was in the little party of which I made one,
on a serene evening, lang-syne, at Constantinople!
We floated gently over the placid bosom of the
sunset-tinted Golden Horn, rowed by four stout
Mussulmans, and bound for that point of the shore of
the Marmora nearest the suburb of Ezoub  where
i
VI 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
horses awaited us for a brisk canter of some miles
back to the city.  There were, Lord  -,  an English
nobleman; a Hungarian refugee; a Yankee seacaptain; a dark-eyed youth from one of the Greek
Islands; and myself-men severed by birth and education from communion of thought and feeling, yet
united, for the moment, by a similarity of purpose;
associated by the subtle influence of circumstance,
into a serene commingling of one common nature,
and capacitated for the interchange of impressions
and ideas, at least in an imperfect degree, through
the medium of a strange jargon, compounded originally of materials as varied as the native languages
of the several individuals composing the group in
our old Turkish Caique, which may have been, for
aught we knew, the identical one that followed
Byron in his Leander-swim!
The conversation naturally partook in character of
the scene before us:-Near, towered the time-stained
walls of the Seraglio-so long the cradling-place
of successive Sultans, and then furnishing the embryo of the voluptuous pleasures of their anticipated
paradise. Beyond, rose the ruin-crowned heights,
the domes and minarets of old Stamboul, rich in historic suggestions, glowing now in the warmly-linger
ing smile of the departing day-god,
" Not, as in Northern climes, obscurely bright,
But one unclouded blaze of living light!"
Before us, in our way over the crystal waters,
233 
234     THE AMERfCAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
loomed up the gloomy, verdure-draped turrets of the
"Irde lKoule" of this oft-rebellinig and oft-conquered
seat of Oriental splendor and imperial power.   As
with the "Tower " of London, the mere sight of this
now silent and deserted castle, conjured up recollections replete with deeds of wild romance, and darker
scenes of blood and crime. Around us flowed the
waters whose limpid depths had so oft received the
sack-shrouded form of helpless beauty, when midnight blackness rivalled the horror of the foil murder
it veiled forever from mortal ken. Argosies and
fleets had been borne upon these waves, whose
names or whose conflicts were of world-wide renown
-from  the mythical adventurers of the GoldenFleece to the triumphant squadrons of the Osmanlis,
all seemed to float before the eye of fancy!
From the broken sentences that, for some time,
seemed most expressive of the contemplative mood
engendered both by our surroundings and by the
placidity of the ifour.. there gradually arose a somewhat connected discussion of the present condition
of the Ottoman Porte.
It is not my purpose to inflict upon you a detailed report of our discourse; but only to relate,
for your amusement, a fragment of it, which somehow has, strangely enough, floated upwards  from
the darkened waters of the past, with sufficient distinctness to be snatched from the oblivion to which
its utter insignificance might properly consign it.
"There is not," said the British noble-a man
curious in literature, and a somewhat speculative 
TO POLITENESS AND  FASHION.
observer of life-" there is not a single purely literary production in the Turkish language, written by
a living author; not a poem, nor romance, nor essay.
The Koi an would almost seem to constitute their all
of earthly lore and heavenly aspiration. What an
anomalv in the biography of modern peoples!"
This last sentence was addressed especially to the
sea-captain and me, the idiomatical English in which
the comic fancy of the speaker found expression
being wholly unintelligible to all except ourselves.
"Their total want of a national literature," said
the American, " does not so materially affect my
comfort, I must confess, as the utter absence of
decent civilization in their renowned capital. For
instance, they have not an apology for a night-police
in their confoundedly dark streets, except the infernal
dogs that infest them. The other night, returning to my  quarters, with my'Ibrahim'  pilot in
firont with a lantern, I was persuaded, as one of these
' faithful guardians' fastened his glistening ivories
in my boot-top, that, like one of your'lone stars' at
New York, Colonel Lunettes, he had' mistaken his
man,' and supposed me to be the returned spirit of
some one of the countless throng of infidel dogs, upon
whom his public education had instructed him to
make war to-the teeth!"
C Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the Greek, in tones as
musical as his dress and attitude were picturesque,
from the pile of boat cloaks upon which he reposed
in the bow of the boat, and opening his dark eyes till
one saw far down into the dreamy depths of his
23.5 
236     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMANIS GUIDE
half-slumbering soul through his quick-lit orbs.  He
had caught enough of the sense of the captain's nonsense, to imagine the joke to the full. "Ha, ha,
ha!" laughed he, again, and the shadowy walls of
the blood-stained " Chateau of Seven Towers," by
which we were gliding, gave back the clear, clarionlike tone; " but, while this brave yls de la mer * thus
sports with the terrors of my country's enslaver
[here a frown, deep, dark, threatening, and a quick
clenching of the jewelled handle of the yataghan ho
wore in his belt], the gates of fair Stamboul will
close, and nor foe, nor Frank, nor friend, be given to
the dogs."
" By thunder!" shouted the American, shaking
himself up, as if at sea, with a suspicious sail in
si,ghlt, " he is more than half right. Would you have
thought it so late?"
"Even a Yankee, like Captain -, a fair representative of the' univeral nation,' learns to dream
and linger here," responded the Englishman, goodhumoredly.
Upon this, I made use of the little knowledge I
possessed of the Turkish, to interrogate our Caidjis
respecting the time further required to reach our
landing-place.
"Allah is great, and Mohammed is his Prophet!"
was all I could fully apprehend of his slowly-delivered reply.
It was now the captain's turn to laugh, and as his
Son of the sea. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
sonorous peal rippled over the Marmora, he quietly
insinuated his fore-finger and thumb into the disengaged palm of the devout Mlussulman I had so
touchingly adjured.
The only response of the devotee of the Prophet
was a gutteral repetition of "Pekee! good! pekee!
pekee!"  But by an influence as effective as it was
mysterious, our swan-like movement was exchanged
for a most hope-encouraging velocity.
"Bravo!" exclaimed my lord.
"Bravissima!" intonated the Hun.
"Go it, boys!" shouted the " old salt."
"By the soul of Mithridates and the deeds of
Thermopole!" chimed in the scion of the "isles of
Greece," catching the instinctively-intelligible contagion of the sportive moment.
"And what said Uncle Hal?" you wonder, perhaps. Oh, I was listening to the low, melancholy,
semi-howl in which the imperturbable Moslems were
slowly chanting  " Guzal! pek giizal!"  as they
turned their dull eyes lingeringly towards their fastreceding mosques and minarets.
But, meeting the questioning glances of my companions, as their mirth began to subside, I contributed my humble quota to the general stock of fun
by saying, with extreme gravity of voice and manner:
" When will wonders cease in the Golden Horn!
At first, even its unquestionable antiquity did not
* My beautiful! my most beautiful!
237 
238     TUE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
redeemi this vessel from my contempt-now I con.
sider it an'irresistible duck!'-and I wish, moreover, to publish my conviction that, though barbarous in matters of literature and art, the Turks impressively teach their boastful superiors a religious
respect for cleanline8ss."
I remember to have been singularly impressed,
when I read it, with an anecdote somewhat as fol
lows:
As too frequently happens  on such occasions, a
discussion in relation to some insignificant matter,
into which a large party of men, who had dined together, and were lingering late over their wine, had
fallen, gradually increased in vehemence and obsti-'
nacy of opinion, until frenzied excitement ruled
the hour.
"From words they almost came to blows,
When luckily"
the attention of one of the most furious of the dispu
tants was suddenly arrested by the appearace of one of
the gentlemen present. There was no angry flush on
his brow, no "laughing devil " in his eye, and he sat
quietly regarding the scene before him, serene and
self-possessed as when he entered the apartment
hours before. His astonished companion inquired
the cause of such placidity, in the midst of anger
and turbulence.
.1 
TO POLITENESS AND FASON.
TO POLITENES5S AND FASHION.            3
The gentleman pointed, with a smile, to a halfempty water-bottle beside him, and replied: "While
the rest of the company have been industriously
occupied in endeavoring to drown the distinctive
attribute of man-reason-I have preserved its supremnacy by simply confining myself to a non-intoxicating beverage."
I trust you will not think the following somewhat
quaint verses, from the pen of an old and now almost
forgotten poet, a  nal-dTpropos conclusion to this
letter:
THE YOUTH AND THE PHILOSOPHER
A Grecian youth, of talents rare,
Whom Plato's philosophic care
Had formed for Virtue's nobler view,
By precept and example too,
Would often boast his matchless skill
To curb the steed, and guide the wheel;
And as he passed the gazing throng
With graceful ease, and smack'd the thong,
The idiot wonder they expressed,
Was praise and transport to his breast.
At length, quite vain, he needs would show
His master what his art could do;
And bade his slaves the chariot lead
To Academus' sacred shade.
The trembling grove contessed its fright,
The wood-nymphs started at the sight;
The Muses drop the learned lyre,
And to their inmost shades retire.
Howe'er, the youth, with forward air,
Bows to the Sage, and mounts the car;
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0 
240     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDI
The lash resounds, the coursers spring,
The chariot marks the rolling ring;
And gathering crowds, with eager eyes,
And shouts, pursue him as he flies.
Triumphant to the goal returned,
With nobler thirst his bosom burned;
And now along the indented plain
The self-same track he marks again;
Pursues with care the nice design,
Nor ever deviates from the line.
Amazement seized the circling crowd;
The youths with emulation glowed;
E'en bearded sages hailed the boy,
And all but Plato gazed with joy.
For he, deep-judging sage, beheld
With pain the triumph of the field:
And when the charioteer drew nigh,
And, flushed with hope, had caught his eye,
"Alas! unhappy youth," he cried,
"Expect no praise from me," (and sighed);
" With indignation I survey
Such skill and judgment thrown away:
The time profusely squandered there
On vulgar arts, beneath thy care,
If well employed, at less expense,
Had taught thee Honor, Virtue, Sense;
And raised thee from a coachman's fate,
To govern men, and guide the state."
One seldom finds a nicer selection of words than
those of the last lines of these admonitory stanzas.
With the wish that they may gratify your literary
acumen, I am, as ever,
Your faithful friend,
HIARRY LUNETTES.
4
i
Fi 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
LETIER VHI.
LETTER-WRITING.
M' -EAR NEPHEws:
THERE is, perhaps, no form of composition
with which it is as desirable to be practically fami
liar, and in which all educated persons should be
accomplished, as that of letter-writing; yet no
branch of an elegant education is more frequently
neglected. Consequently, the grossest errors, and
the utmost carelessness, are tolerated in regard to it.
Rhetorical faults, and even ungrammatical expressions, are constantly overlooked, and illegibility has
almost come to be regarded as an essential characteristic.
Following the homely rule of the lightning-tamer,
that " nohning is wuorth doiny at al  tat is8 not worth
doing we7l," you will not need argument to convince
you of the propriety of attention to this subject,
while forming habits of life.
Different occasions and subjects require, of course,
as various styles of epistolary composition. Thus
the laconic language adapted to a formal business
letter, would be wholly unsuited to one of friendship; and the playfulness that might be appropriate
11
241 
242     TTE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
in a congratulatory communication, would be quite
out of place in a letter of condolence.
While it is impossible that any general rules can
be laid down that will be always applicable in individual cases, a few directions of universal application may, not inappropriately, be introduced in connection with our present purpose.
The principal requisites of Letters of 2Business are,
inte ligibility, legibility, and brevity.  To secure the
first of these essentials, a clear, concise, expressive
selection of language is required. Each word and
sentence should express exactly and.unequivocally
the idea intended to be conveyed, and in characters
that will not obscure the sense by doubtful legibility.
A legible hand should certainly be as essential as
intelligible utterance.  We  pity the man who  by
stammering, or stuttering, not only taxes the time
and patience of his hearers, but leaves them, at
times, uncertain of his meaning, despite their efforts
to comprehend  him.   What, then, is the misfortune of those who, like the most genial of wits,
'decline to read their own writing, after it is twen-t
ty-four hours old!'   Do  not, I pray you, let any
absurd impression respecting the excusableness of
this defect, on the score that genius is superior to the
tri2fes of detail, etc., lead yoa either into carelessness
or indifference on the subject.   Few men have the
excuse of possessing the dangerous gift of genius., and
to affect the weakne88sses by which it is sometimes
accompanied, is equally silly and contemptible. A
man of sense will aim at attaining a true standard 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
of right, not at caricaturing a defective model.
Depend upon it, a good businesq-/tand is no small
recommendation to young men seeking employment
in any of the occupations of life. The propriety of
brevity in letters of business, wil at once commend
itself to your attention.  Time-the wealth of the
busv-is thus saved for two parties.  But remember,
I repeat, that, while this precious treasure is best
secured by expressing what you wish to communicate in as few words as possible, nothing is gained
by leaving your preciee meaning doubtful, by unauthorized abbreviations, confused sentences, or the
omission of any essential-as a date, address, propel
signature, important question, or item of informationI.  Let me add, that rapidity of mechanical execution is of no mean importance in this regard.
Iletlers of Introduction should be so expressed as
to afford the reader a clue to the particular purpose
of the bearer in desiring his acquaintance, if any
such there be. This will prevent the awkwardness
of a personal explanation, and furnish a convenient
theme for the commencement of a conversation between strangers. Thus, if it be simply a friend, travelling in search of pleasure and general information,
whom youL wish to commend to the general civilities
of another friend, some such form as the following
will suffice:
MY DEAR SIR:
Allow me the pleasure of introducing to
you my friend, Mr., a gentleman whose
243 
244     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
intelligence and acquirements render his acquaintance an acquisition to all who are favored with his
society.  Mr.        visits your city [or town, or part
of the country, or, your celebrated city, or, your enterprising town, or your far-famed State, etc.] merely
as an observant traveller.  Such attentions as it may
be agreeable to you to render him will oblige
Your sincere friend,
and obedient servant,
T'o lion.
When you wish to write a letter of introduction
for a person seeking a situation in business, a place
of residence, scientific information, or the like;
briefly, but distinctly, state this to your correspondent,
together with any circumstance creditable to the
bearer, or which it will b)e advantageous to him to
have known, which you can safely venture to avouch.
(No one is in any degree bound by individual regard
to impair his reputation for probity or veracity in
this, or any other respect.).
A letter introducing an Artist, a Lecturer, etc.,
should contain some allusion to the professional
reputation of the bearer-thus:
MY DEAR WILLIAMSON:
This will be presented to you by our dis
tinguished countryman, Mr.          -, who  pro
poses a brief visit to your enterprising city, chiefly
for professional purposes.  It affords me great plea 
TO POLITENESS AND FASIHION.
sure to be the means of securing to friends whom I
so highly value, the gratification I feel assured you
and Mr.        will derive from knowing each other.
With the best wishes for your mutual success and
happiness, I am, my dear sir,
Very truly yours,
To       -, Esq.
In the instance of a celebrity, occupying at the
time a space in the world's eye, something like this
will suffice:
BOSTON, August  1st, 1856.
IY DEAR FRIEND:
IT gives me pleasure to present to your
acquaintance a gentleman from whose society you
cannot fail to derive high enjoyment.  Mr.    [or
the Hon. -, or Gen.             ]* needs no eulogy
* Always be scrupulously careful to give titles, and with accuracy.
The proper designation of a gentleman not in office, is —Esquire.
'This, of course, should not be given to a tradesman, or meniaL)
That of a judge, member of Congress, mayor of a city, member of a
State legislature, etc., etc., is-Honorable; that of a clergyman —
Reverend; that of a bishop —Right Reverend.   You are, of course,
familiar with the proper abbreviations for these titles. In writing
the address of a letter, it is desirable to know the Christian name of
the person to whom  it is to be directed.  Thus, if a physician,
"Charles Jones, M. D.," is better than "Dr. Jones." So, "Dr.
De Lancey," or "Bishop Potter," are obviously improper.  The co.
rect form to be used in this instance, is:
"To the
"Right Rev. Alonzo Potter, -D. D."
245 
246     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDl]
of miiie to render his reputation familiar to you,
identified as it is with the literature of our country
[or the scientific fame, or the eloquence of the pulpit, etc.]  Commending, my friend to your courtesy,
believe me, my dear Jones,
Truly your friend and servant,
Rev.
Letters of introduction should always be unsealed,
and, as a rule, should relate only to the affairs of the
bearer, not even passingly to those of the writer or
his correspondent. When it is desirable to write
what cannot, for any reason, be properly introduced
into the open letter, a separate and sealed communi
The proper address of a.Minister representing our government
abroad, is-" the Honorable -, Minister for the U. S. of
America, near the Court of St. James, or St. Cloud," etc. That of a
Chargi dAffaires, or Consul, etc., varies with their respective offices.
A Charge aAffaires is sometimes familiarly spoken of as." Our
'&hargl," at such a Court —or as the "American Charge."
A clergyman may be addressed as "Rev. lfr. -," if you do not
know the first name, or initial, and so may a doctor of divinity;
but in the latter case it would, perhaps, be better to write-" Rev.
Dr. James,"-though the more accurate mode will still be, if attainable, " Rev. William James, D.D."
Gentlemen of the Army and Navy should always be designated by
their proper titles, and it is well not to be ignorant that a man in
either of these professions, when
" He hath got his sword...
And seems to know the use on't,"
may not like to be reminded that the slow promotion he has attained
is unknown to his friends!. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION
cation may be written and sent, with a polite apology, or brief explanation, with the other.
When letters of introduction are delivered in person, they should be sent by the servant who admits
you, together with your card, to the lady or gentleman to whom they are addressed, as the most convenient mode of announcing yourself, and the object
of your visit.
AVhen you do not find the person you wish to see,
write your temporary add'esss upon your card, as "At
the  American Hotel"-  "With  Mrs. Henry, 22
Washington-st."-" At IIon. John  Berkley's," etc.
Should you send your letter, accompany it by your
card and present address, and inclose both together
in an envelope directed to the person for whom
they are designed. When your stay is limited and
brief, it is suitable to add upon your card, together
with an accurate datea" For to-day," or, " To remain
but two or three days." And in case of any explanation, or apology, or request being requisite, such
as you would have made in a personal interview,
write a note, to be inclosed with the letter of presentation.  Every omission of these courtesies that may
occasion trouble, or inconvenience to others, is illbred, and may easily serve to prejudice strangers
against you.
Sometimes it is well to mnake  an appointment
through the card you leave, or send, with a letter, or
for a stranger whom you wish to meet, as-" At the
Globe Hotel, this evening," with a date, or thus:
24:7 
248      THE AMERICAN GENTLEMIAN S GUIDE
"Will  pay his respects to Mrs. —, to-morrow
morning, with her permission."
A letter introducing a young man, still " unknown
to fame," to a lady of fashion, or of distinguished
social position, may be expressed somewhat in this
manner:
To
ifrs.  Iodish,*
No. 14 Belyrave Place,
Charleston, S. C.
ASTOR HousE, NEW YORK, Jan. 27th, i856.
DEAR M[ADAM:
Permit me to present to you my friend,
Mr. James Stuart-a gentleman whose polished
manners and irreproachable character embolden me
* It is etiquette to address communications to a lady according to
the style she adopts for her card. Thus, the elder of two married
ladies, bearing the same name and of the same family, may properly
designate herself simply as Mrs., without any Christian name
(her position in society and the addition upon her card, of her locale
being supposed sufficient to identify her). The wives of her youngest brother, or those of her sons, are then "Mrs. N. C.," "Mrs.
Charles -," and so on.  The eldest of a family of sisters is,
"Miss," the younger are "Miss Nellie," "Miss Julia,"
etc. In writing to, or conversing with them, you thus individualize
them. But when you are upon ceremonious terms with them, in the
absence of the elder, you address one of the younger sisters, with
whom you are conversing, as " Miss  -," only, omitting the individualizing Christian name. Of course, when writing under such circumstances, a note of ceremony designed for the young ladies of a
family, collectively, should be addressed to "The  [isses;" and
if for one of them, alone, to " Miss," or, "Miss Mary X.
as the case may be. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
to request for him the honor of anl acquaintance with
even so fastidious and accomplished an arbiter of
fashion as yourself.
Mr. Stuart will be able to give you all the information you may desire respecting our mutual friends
and acquaintances in society here.
Do  me the honor to make my very respectful
compliments to the Misses Modish, and to believe
me, dear madam,
AMost respectfully,
Your friend and servant,
ROBERT B13. IAWKS.
-IRS. MODISIH.
Letters presentingJorecyners, should designate the
country and particular locality to which they belong,
as well as the purpose of their tour, as-" The Chlevalier Bonne, of Berne, Switzerland whose object in
visiting our young Republic is not only the wish to
compare our social and political institutions with
those of his own country, but the collection of specimens and  i,fornation respecting the 2Yattral ffistory of the United States. Such assistance as you
may be able to render my learned friend, in facilitating his particular researches, will confer a favor
upon me, my dear sir, which I shall ever gratefully
remember," etc., etc.
The subject of letters of introduction naturally
suggests that of personal introductions, in relation to
which the grossest mistakes and the greatest carelessness are prevalent, even among well-bred people.
11*
24,1,1 
250     THE AMERICAN GENTLEiMANIS GUIDE
In making persons acquainted with each other,
the form of words may vary almost with every
different occasion, but there are certain rules that
should never be overlooked, since they refer to considerations of abstract propriety.
Youing,er persons and inferiors in social rank,
should, almost invariably, be 1resented to their seniors and superiors. Thus, one should not say-" AIr.
Smith, let me introduce Mr'. Washington Irving to
you," but " Mr. Irving, will you allow me to initroduce IMr. John Smith to you?"  Or, "Permit me to
present Mfr. Smith to you, sir," presupposing that
Mr. Smith does not need to be informed to whom he
is about to be introduced. It is difficult to express
upon paper the difference of signification conveyed
by the mode of intonating a sentence. " General
Scott, IMr. Jones," may be so pronounced as to present the latter gentlemen to our distinguished countryman, in a simple, but admissible manner, or it
may illustrate the impropriety of naming a man of
mark to a person who makes no pretensions to social
equality with him.
Usually, men should be introduced to women,
upon the principle that precedence is always yielded
to the latter; but, even in this case, an exception
may properly be made in the instance of an introduction between a very young, or, otherwise, wholly
nnindividualized woman, and a man of high position, or of venerable age. A half-playful variation
from the ordinary phraseology of this ceremony
may sometimes be adopted, under such circum
I 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
stances, with good taste, as-"This young lady desires
the pleasure of knowing you, sir-Miss Williams,"
or, "MIr. Prescott, this is my niece. Miss Ada Byron
Robinson."
When there is a "distinction without a differ.ence" between two persons, or when hospitality
interdicts your assuming to decide a nice point in
this regard, it may be waived by merely naming the
parties in such a way as to give precedence to
neither —thus: "Gentlemen, allow me-Mr. W,
Mr. V Y," or, "Gentlemen, allow me the pleasure
of making you known to each other," and then simply pronounce the names of the two persons.
By the way, let me call your attention to the
importance of an audible and distinct enunciation
of names, when assuming to make an introduction.
A  quiet, sef-possessed manner, and  intelligibility
should be regarded as essential at such times.
When  introducing persons who are necessarily
wholly unacquainted with each other's antecedents of
station or circumstance, it is eminently proper to add
a brief explanation, as-" Mr. Preudhomne, let me
introduce my brother-in-law, General Peters,-Mr.
Preudhomne, of Paris," or; "Mrs. Blandon, with your
permission, I   ill present to youL Sefior Abeuno, a
Spanish gentleman.   Senor A. speaks French perfectly, but is unacquainted with our language;"
or, "' Mr. Smithson, this is my friend Mr. Brown, of
Philadelphia-like ourselves, a mercAant;" or, " My
dlear, this is Captain Blevin, of the good ship Never
cdink,-MAlrs. XNephews, sir."
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252     THE AMERICAN GENrLEMIA'S GUIDE
lever say "M Iy wife," or " Mly daughter, or "M ly
sister," "Mlyv father-in-law," or the like, without giv.
ing each their proper ceremonious title.  How should
a      stranger know whether your "daughter" is
"Sole daughter of your house and heart,"
or Miss " Lucy," or " Belinda," the third or fourth in
the order of time, and, consequently, of precedence,
or what may chance to be the name of your father-inlaw, or half-sister, etc., etc.
Well-bred people address each other by name,
when conversing, and hence the awkwardness occasioned by this vulgar habit, which is only equalled
by that of speaking of your wife as "MIy wife,"* or
worse still, "my lady!"  Is it not enough, when
your friends know that you are married, and aire
perfectly familiar with your own name, to speak of
" fMrs.," and to introduce them to the mistress
of your house by that designation?
It is a solecism in good manners to suppose it unsuitable to designate the members of your own family
by their proper titles under all circumstances that
would render it suitable and convenient to do so in
the instance of other persons. Never fall into the
* This reminds me of another habit that is becoming prevalent iil
this new land of ours-that of men's entering themselves upon the
Registers of Hotels, Ocean Steamers, etc., as " M. A. Timeson and
lady!" or,  "Mr. G. Simpson and uWife."  What can possibly be the
objection to the good old established form of "Mr. and Mrs. M. A.
Timeson," or "George and Mrs. Simpson, or " Mr. G. Simpson. Mrs.
and the Misses Simpson?" 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
Arnerican peculiarity on this point, I entreat you.
Say-" My fathler, Dr. V —," or " My sister, Miss
," "MIrs. Col. V —,  my sister-in-law," or,
"M Ay sister, Birs. John Jenkins," with as scrupulous
a regard for rank and precedence, as though dealing
with strangers. Indeed, you virtually ignor)e al
I)ersona7, considerations, while  acting in a social
relation merely.
The rules of etiquette very properly interdict indiscriminate i"troductions in general society.  No
one has a right to thrust the acquaintance of persons
upon each other without their permission, or, at least,
without some assurance that it will be agreeable to
them to know each other. Strangers meeting at the
house of a mutual friend, in a morning visit, or the
like, converse with each other, or join in the general
conversation without an introduction, which it is not
usual among fashionable people to give under such
circumstances. If you wish to present a gentleman
of your acquaintance to a lady, you first ask her permission, either in person or by note, to take him to
her house, if she be married, or to do so at a party,
etc.. where you may chance to meet her. In the
instance of a very young lady, propriety demands
your obtaining the consent of one of her parents
before adding to her list of male acquaintances, unless
you are upon such terms of intimacy with her family
and herself, as to render this superfluous; and sc
with all your friends. It is better, however, even
where unceremoniousness is admissible, to err upon
the safer side.
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254     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
Among, men, greater license may be taken; but,
as a rube, I repeat, persons are not introduced in the
street, in pump-rooms, in the public parlors of hotels,
or watering-places, meeting incidentally at receptions
or at morning visits, etc.; and not even whlen they
are your guests at large dinners, or soirees, without
their previous assent or request.
Of course, such rules, like all the laws of conven
tion, are established and followed for convenience,
and should not be regarded, like those of the Medes
and Persians, asunchangeable. Good sense and good
feeling will vary them with the changes of circumstance. No amiable person, for instance, will
hesitate to set them aside for the observance of the
more imperative law of kindness, when associated
with those who are ignorant of their existence (as
many really excellent persons are), and would  be
pained by their strict observance.  Neither should
the most punctilious sticklers for form think it
necessary to make a parade of the mere letter of such
rules, at any time. It is the spirit we want, for the
promotion of social convenience and propriety.
Perhaps it may be as well in this connection as in
any other, to say a word about the matter of viaiting
cards.
Fashion sanctions a variety of forms for this necessary appendage.  In Europe, it is very common to
affix the professional or political title to the name, as
, Professor in the University of fleidel.
burg," or, ", Conseiller d'Etat,"; and an
Englishman in public life often has on his card the 
TO POLrrENESS AND FASHION.
cabalistic characters-"In II. ~1. S."-(in hler Mtajesty's Service).  Among the best-bred Americans, I
think the prevalent usage is to adopt the sirople sig.
7mat?tie, as " Henry Wise," or to prefix the title of
iir., as "i Ar. Seward."   Sometimes, —particularly
for cards to be used away from honie-the place of
residence is also eingraved in one corner below tihe
nanme.
Europeans occasionally adopt the practice of having the corners of the reverse side of their cards engraven across with such convenient words as "Pour
di2e Adieau" (to say good bye).  " Congratulatioz"
(to offer congratulations).  "]Pour afaire" (on an
errand, or on business).  "Arrive" (tantamount  to
"' in town,"). The appropriate corner is turned over,
as occasion requires' and the sentence is thus brought
into notice on the samge side with the name.
Business cards should never be used in social life,
nor should flourishes, ornamental devices, or generally unintelligible characters  be  employed.   A
smooth, wAite card, of moderate size, with a plain,
legible inscription of the name, is in unexceptionable
taste and ton, suitable for all occasions, and sufficient
for all purposes, with the addition, when circuinmstances require it, of a pencilled word or sentence.
But to return to our main subject.
Letters of Pecommnendat.on partake of thle general
character of those of introduction.  It is sufficient to
add, in regard to them, that they should be conscien tiously expressed.  All that can be truthfully said
for the advantage of the bearer, should be included;
255
iv
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256     THlE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
but, as I have before remarked, no one is obliged to
compromise his own integrity to advance the interests
of others in this manner, more than in any other.
Letters of Con,dolence require great care and deli cacy of composition.  Thev should relate chiefly, as
a rule, to the subject by which they are elicited, and
express sympathy rather than aimn at adminnistering
consolation.  No general directions can be made to
embrace the peculiarities of circumstance in this
regard.   Suffice it to say that the inspiration  of
genuine feeling will dictate rather expressions of
kindly interest for the sufferer you address, of respect
and regard for a departed firiend, or an appreciation
of the magnitude of the misfortune you deplore,
rather than coldly polished sentences and prolonged
reference to one's self.
Letters of Congratvuation should embody cheerfulness and cordiality of sentiment, and be at an equal
remove firom an exaggeration of style, suggesting
the idea of insincerity or of covert ridicule, and from
chilling politeness, or indications of indifference. To
" rejoice with those who rejoice" is indeed a pleasing and easy task for those who aremblessed with a
genial nature, and enrich themselves by partaking in
the good fortune of others. Letters expressing this
pleasure admit of a little more egotism than is sanetioned by decorum in some other cases.  One may
be allowed to allude to one's own feelings when so
pleasurably associated with those of one's correspondent.
Brevity is quite admissible in letters botb of con
t-I 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
dolence and felicitation-referring, as they properly
do, chiefly to one topic; it is in better taste not to intro
duce extraneous matter into them, especially when
they are of a merely ceremonious nature.
~etters to Superiors in Station or Age demand a
respectful and laconic  style.   No  familiarity of
address, no colloquialisms, pleasantries, or digres
sions, are admissible in them. They should be con
menced with a  ceremoniously-respectful  address
carefully and concisely expressed, and concluded(]
with an elaborate formula, of established phraseology. The name of the person to whom they are
written should be place near the lower, left hand
edge of the sheet, together with his ceremonious
title, etc. No abbreviations of words-and none of
titles, unsanctioned by established usage, should be
introduced into such letters, and they should bear at
the commencement, below the date, and on the left
hand side of the paper, the name of the person addressed, thus:
WASHINGTON CITY, Feb. 2d, 1856.
HIONOPRABLE EDWARD EVERETT:
SIR,
,,,,....,,  
I am, sir,
Very respectfully,
Your humble servant,
J. F. CARPENTER
loN. EDWARD EVERETT,
Secretary of State, for the U.S.
257 
258     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
Be careful to remember that it is unsuitable to
commence a communication to an entire stranger
an official letter, or one of ceremony, in reply to a
gentleman acting in the name of a committee, etc.,
etc., with "' Dear Sir." This familiarity is wholly out
of place under such circumstances, and it is matter
of surprise that our public men so frequently fall into
it, even in addressing public functionaries representing foreign countries here, etc. In this respect, as
in many others, their " quality." as that most discerning satirist, Punceh, has recently said of the style
of one of our men in high office-is not " strained!"
T'he veterans of Diplomatic or of Congressional life
should let us see that practice has refined their style
of speaking and writing, rather than remind us that
they have come to the lees of intellect!
I have, for several years past, remarked the published letters of one of the distinguished men of tho
Empire State, as models of graceful rhetoric and
good taste. I refer now, not to the political opinions
they may have expressed, but to their literary exeemtion.  They indicate the pen of genius-no matter
what the occasion-whether declining to break
ground for a canal, to lay the corner-stone of a
university, acknowledging a public serenade, or
expounding a political dogma, a certain indescribable something always redeems them alike from common-place ideas, and fromn inelegance of language.
See if your newspaper profundity will enable you to
"guess" the name of the individual to whom  I
refer.
r
.1 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHIIION.
-Diplornatic  etters require a style peculiar to
themselves, in relation to which it would be the
height of temerity in me to adventure even a hint.
The Public Documents of our own country and of
England, afford models for those of you who shall
have occasion for them, as members of the " Corps
Diplomnatique."
~etters of  Fr,endsvld  acid Agffection must, of
course, vary in style with the occasions and the
correspondents that  elicit them.   A  light, easy,
playful style is most appropriate.  And one should
aim rather at correctness of diction than at anything
like an elaborate parade of language.
Grammatical inaccuracies  and  vulgarisrms are
never allowable among educated people, whether
in speaking or writing; nor is defective spelling
excusable.
Punctuation and attention to the general rules of
composition should not be overlooked, as thus only
can unmistakable intelligibleness be secured.
Avoid all ambitious pen-flourishes, and attempts
at ornamental caligraphy, and aim at the acquisition
of a legible, neat, gentleman-like hand, and a pure,
manly, expressive style, in this most essential of all
forms of composition.
The possession of excellence in this accomplishment will enable you to disseminate high social and
domestic pleasure. Nothing affords so gratifying a
solace to friends, when separated, as the reception
of those tokens of remembrance and regard.  They
only who have wandered far, far away from the ties
259 
260     THE A-IERICAN GENTLEMAN7S GUIIDE
of country, friiends, and home, can fully appreciate
the delight afforded by the reception of letters of a
satisfactory character. And the welcome assurances
of the safety, health, and happiness of the absent
and loved, is the best consolation of home-friends.
Practice, _patience, and tact, are equally essential
to the acquisition of ease and grace in this desirable
art.   WtW, i umor, and  p7ayfulnes8  are its proper
embellishments, and variety should characterize its
themes.  A certain egotis%, too, is not only pardonable, but absolutely requisite, and may even become
delicately complimentary to the recipient of one's
confidence.
Let me remind you, too, that-though " offence
of spoke, words" may be excused by the excitement of passing feeling-the deliberate commission
of unkind, or. worse still, of unjust, untruthful,
injurious language, to paper, argues an obliquity of
moral vision little likely to secure the writer either
"What nothing earthly gives, or can destroy,
The soul's calm? sunshine,"
or the respect and regard of others.
Facility in writing familiar letters may be increased by the habit of mentally recording, before
inditing them, as opportunity affords material, such
incidents of travel, items of personal interest, or
gossiping intelligence, etc., as may be thought best
suited to the tastes of your correspondents. And
it is well, before closing such communications, not
only to glance over them to satisfy yourself of their 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION 
freedom from mistakes, but by that means to recall
any omission occasioned by forgetfulness.
Notes of In7vitation, of Acceptance, and Rlegret,
require, of course, brevity and simplicity of expression.  The prevailing mode of the society you are
connected with, is usually the proper guide in relation to these matters of form, for the time being.
Thus the mere formula of social life at Washington,
Boston, Charleston, Paris, or St. Petersburg, may
be  somewhat  varied, as  usayge alone  frequently
determines these niceties, and all eccentricities and
peculiarities in this respect, as in most others, are in
bad taste. Cards, or Notes, cf Invitation to Dinners
and Soirees, are frequently printed, and merely
names and dates supplied in writing. The example
of the best society (in the most elevated sense of
that  much-abused  phnase) everywhere, sanctions
only the most unpretending mode of expression and
general  style, for such  occasions.   The  utmost
beauty and  exquisiteness of finish  in  the  mere
viaterial, but the absence of all pretentious ornament, is thought most unexceptionable.
Invitations to Dinne  should be acknowledged at
your earliest convenience, and-whether accepted or
declined-in courteously ceremonious phraseology.
In the instance of invitations * to Balls and Evening
* I was somewhat surprised lately, in perusing an agreeable
novel, written by one of our countrywomen, to observe her use of
the word "ticket" as synonymous with invitation, or card of invita.
tion.  A "ticket" admits one to a concert, the opera, or theatre
i)ut one receives an " invitation," or " card of inv'itation" to a dinner,
261 
262     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMIAN S GUIDE
Parties, Weddings, etc., haste is not so essential;
but a seasonable reply to such civilities should by
no means be neglected.
When  you wish  to  take a friend-who  is a
stranger to the hostess-with you to an evening
entertainment, and are upon sufficiently established
terms with her to make it quite proper to do so,
acknowledge your invitation at once, and request
permission to take your friend —thus affording an
opportunity, if it is requisite, for the return of an
invitation enclosed to you for your proposed companion. Some form like the following will answer
the purpose:
Mbr. Thomas Brown has the honor to accept Mrs
Mason's very polite invitation for next Thursday
evening.
With Mrs. Mason's permission, Mr. Brown will
be accompanied by his friend, Mr. Crawford, of
Cincinnati, who is at present temporarily in New
York.
CARLTON HiOUSE,
Monday morningy, December 28th.
Among intimate friends, it is sometimes most
courteous, when declining an invitation, in place of
a mere formal "regret" to indite a less ceremonious
note, briefly explanatory, or apologetic.  Esgential
ball, or evening-party, at a friend's house. All misnomers of this
kind savor of under-breedi.ng-they are vulyarismns, in short, unsanetioned either by taste or fashion. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASIIION.
good-breeding is the best guide in these occasional
deviations front ceremoneous rules.
Formal notes of invitation, and the like, should
not be addressed to several persons inclusively. Of
course, a gentleman and his wife are invited ill
this inclusive way, as are the unmarried sisters of a
family, when  residing  in  the  same house;  but
visitors to one's friends, a married lady and her
daughters, as well as the younger gentlemen of a
family, should, severally, have separate notes, directed to them individually, where ceremony is
requisite, though all may, for convenience, be
enclosed in the same envelope,. with a general
direction to the elder lady of the house.
Letters, or notes, commenced in the third person,
should be continued throughout in the same form.
It is obviously incorrect (though of frequent occurrence), to adopt such phraseology as —"Ir. Small
presents his compliments to Miss Jones," etc., and
to conclude  with " Yours respectfully, G. Small."
This mode of expression (the third person), is only
adapted to brief communications of a formal nature.
No addIress and signature are required when the
names of the recipient and of the writer are introduced into the body of the note, as they necessarily
are. The place of residence (if written), and the
date, are placed at the left hand side of the paper,
belotow the principal contents.
Letters designed to be mailed-such as are written
to persons living at a distance from your own place
of residence-should have your proper mail address
263 
264:    THE ANIERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
legibly written on the right hand side of your sheet,
above the rest of the communication, together with
the date.
Notes addressed to persons residing in the same
place with yourself, require only the name of the
street you reside in, and your number, with the day
of the week-as  "Clinton Place, Thursday P. M.,"
or, "lNo. 6 Great Jones st., Monday morning "which is usually placed below the other portions of
the missive. It is usual to write short notes of ceremony so as to have the few lines composing them in
the middle of the small sheet used.
Forms of signature and address vary in accordance
with the general tenor of letters. When they are of
an entirely ceremonious character, or addressed to
superiors, usage requires an elaborate address and
subscription; but the style of familiar epistles permits throughout every variety of language that good
taste and good feeling may invent or sanction. Only
let there be a general harmony in your compositions.
Do not fall into the inadvertency of the person who
addressed a missive full of the most tender expressions of regard to his mistress, and signed it"Yours respectfully, Clark, Smith & Co."
Legibility, Intelligibility, and Accuracy are requi
site in the direction of all epistolary compositions.
Correct taste demands some attention to the subject of TFritipg —laterials.  It is now becoming the
practice to use small-sized paper for comnmunicaticns
of ceremony and friendship, continuing the contents
through several sheets, if necessary, and numbering
1f 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
each in proper succession.   It is, also, usual to
write ceremonious letters on but one side of a sheet,
and to leave a wide margin upon the left hand
side, and a narrower one on the opposite edge of the
paper.
The finest, smoothest paper should always be used,
except for mere business matters; and, though some
passiing fashion may sanction tinted paper, pure white
is always unexceptionable. All fancy ornaments,
colored designs, etc., etc., are in questionable taste.
If ornamental bordering, or initial lettering is
adopted, the most chaste and unpretending should
be preferred.
Except for mailing, envelopes should correspond
exactly with the sheet inclosed.   Envelopes sent
by post should be strong and large-sized. Sometimes
it is well to re-enclose a small envelope, corresponding
with the written sheet, in a large, firm cover, and to
write the full direction upon that.
Sealing wax should always be used for closing all
epistles, except those of an entirely business nature.
Staipas and seals may vary with taste.  A  plain
form with an unbroken face, suffices; or initials, a
device and motto, one or both; or hereditary heraldic designs may be preferred.
Letters intended to go by mail on the continent of
Europe, should be written on a single, large sheet of
thin paper, and ~ot eeiveloped.
It is as i7l-bred not to reply to a communication
requi,ring an acknowledgment, or to neg7lect proper
attention to all the several matters of imnportaowe to
12
265
F
wl
0-1 
266  THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN 6 GUIDE
which it relates, as it is not to answer a questior
directly and person7ally addressed to you.
Promptitude is also demanded by good-breeding,
in this regard. Necessity only can excuse the imnpoliteness of subjecting a friend, or business-correspondent, to inconvenience or anxiety, occasioned by
delay in replying to important letters.
Tyros in epistolary composition may derive advantage from  noting the peculiar excellences of the
published letters of celebrated authors and others;
not for the purpose of servile imitation, but as affording useful general models, or guides. Miscellaneous
readers may note the genial humor and patient elaborateness characterizing the letters of the " Great
Unknown," the felicities of expression sometimes
observable in the familiar missives of Byron, and of
his friend Tom Moore (when the latter is not writing
to his much-put-upon London publisher for table-supplies, etc.!) amuse himself with the gossiping capacity
for details exhibited by those of Horace Walpole,
and con, with wondering admiration, the epistolary
illustrations of the well-disciplined, thoroughly-balanced character of the great American model, of
whose writings it may always be said-whether an
" order," written on a drum-head, or the draught of a
document involving the interests of all humanity is
the subject-that they are "' w,l done."
Among the collections of letters I remember to
have read, none now occur to me as offering more
variety of style than those included in the "M iemoirs
of IH. MIore." They are a little old-fashioned now,
i,i.,
r 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
perhaps; but some  of them, both for matter  and
manner, are, in their way, unsurpassed in English
literature.  Some of those of Sir IV. W. Pepys, I
recollect as peculiarly pleasing.
Several of the published letters of Dr. Johnson,
and one or two of those of our own Franklin, are to
be regarded as among the curiosities of literature,
rather than as precedents which circumstances will
ever render available, or desirable. Johnson's celebrated letter to Lord Chesterfield, declining his proffered patronage, for instance-and Franklin's, concludin,g with the witty sarcasm-" You are now my
enemy, and I am
At some future time, perhaps, the literary treasures of our country will be enriched by specimens
of the correspondence of such of our contemporaries
as inspire the highest admiration for their general
style of composition. Who could fail to peruse with
interest, letters from the pen of Prescott, who never
makes even such a physical infirmity as his, a plea
for inaccuracy, or carelessness of expression? And
who would not hail with delight any draught presented by the bounteous hand of Irving, from,
"The well of English undefiled,"
whence  he himself has long quaffed the highest
inspiration!
267
" Yours, B. F.RANYLIN. " 
26S     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
"There they are!" shouted James.
"iHere they come!" exclaimed Miss Mary Mars.
ton.
"They have made good time, the lazy dogs, for
once!" said I.
"Oh, I'ml so glad!" echoed the silvery cadences
of Nettie Brown, who seemed about to dance to the
music of her own merry voice.
"I hope"        began the dove-like murmur of a
fair invalid: she ceased, and her dewy eyes told all
she would have said.
"God grant us good news!" said our venerable
comrpagnon de voyage, fervently, a shade of anxiety
clouding his usually benignant countenance.
"Ladies, excuse me! I beg you to remember
that they may not bring anything —let me prepare
you for a disappointment!"  These words were
uttered, with apparent reluctance, by a young man,
whose pale face and dark melancholy eyes seemed
to lend almost prophetic emphasis to his warning
tones.
Nettie ceased to clap her little hands; "Jovial
James" looked as grave as his usually rollicking,
fun-twinkling  eyes permitted;  the stately Mary
could only look fixedly towards the approaching
Arabs, the serenity of our patriarchal friend was
more than ever disturbed; sweet Isidore grew
marble pale, and leaned heavily back upon the sculp.
tured pillar against which we had secured her camp. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
seat, and your uncle Hal-well! he is a " proverbial
Philosopher," you know!
There we were, amid the solemn magnificence of
the ruined palaces and temples'of once-mighty
Thllebes.
Our little party was gathered in front of the great
Propylon of the famous Temple of Luxor, whose
mysterious grandeur we had come many thousands
of miles to behold. Massive pillars, covered with
minutely-finished picture-writing and mystic hieroglyphics, sufficient for the life-long study of the
curious student; enormous architraves, half-buried
colossi, far-reaching colonnades, " grand, gloomy and
peculiar;" the world-famed  Memnon;  the grim,
tomb-hallowed mountains-all the wonders of the
lNile, of E' Uksorein, of Karnac, surrounded us!
But humiliating reflections upon the mutability of
human greatness and human power, the eager speculations of the disciples of Champollion, sarcophagi
and sculptured ceilings, and scarabsei and Sesostris,
alike sunk into matters of insignificance and indifference when compared with the expectation of
Setters fom Il]ome!
That most amiable and hospitable of Mussulmans;
Muistapha Aga, the trave7ler's friend, had engaged
the Sheik (heaven Q-are the mark!) of one of the
squalid Arab villages, whose  mud  walls  cluster
upon the roofs of the grand halls and porticoes of
ancient Tliebes —reminding one of animalculm   by
comparison-to accompany my servant and one or
269 
270     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
two of our dusky satellites to a point in the
vicinity, to which the American and English consuls
at Cairo had engaged to forward out letters, etc.
Our motley band of couriers was now seen
advancing along the low bank of the river, and aUll
was eager anticipation and impatience.
She ceremony of distribution was speedily accom
plished, and an observer of the scene, like our calm,
silent host, the kindly Mustapha, might almost read
the contents of the different letters of the several
members of our little group reflected in the faces of
each.
" Jovial James" sunk down at once at the feet of
the fair Niettie, who had sacrilegiously seated herself
upon the edge of an open sarcophagus, with a lap
full of treasures, before which her hoarded antiques
-and she was the most indefatigable collector of our
corps-relapsed again into the nothingness from
which her admiration had, for a time, redeemed
them.  Something very much like a tear glistened
in the bright eyes of the frolicksome youth as he
murmured, half-unconsciously " Mother," and sunshine and shadow played in quick succession over
the mirroring features of the fair girl.
The usually placid Mary MIarston fairly turning
her back upon us, beat a retreat towards a prostrate
column and, half-concealed herself among its crumbling fragments; and our sweet, fast-fading flower, for
whose comfort each vied with the other, the beautiful Isidore, clasped her triple prizes between her
4 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
slight palms, and folding them to her meek bosom,
lifted her soft eyes toward the heaven that looked
alike on Egypt and on her native land, and whispered "omer! Ohl, father take me Iome!"
"Not one word  does  Frank say about recmittances-the most inmportant of all subjects!" cried
James, with his elbows on his knees, and a half-filled
sheet held out before him in both hands.  "HIe is
the most provoking fellow!-just look, Nettie, how
much blank paper, too, sent all the way from Manhattan Island to Upper Egypt," he added, with a
serio-comic tap on the paper.
"Good enough for you!" retorted his frequent
tormentor; "you wouldn't write from Pome to him,
as I begged you to"
" But, most amiable Miss Consolation' on a monument, smiling at grief,' don't you recollect that you
favored him with three' great big' sheets, crammed,
crossed, and kissed "  " Do go away, James Wilson! you are a regular
squatter, as they say at home; really, if you are not
established on my skirt!" laughed his merry companion, reddening, however, at his skillful sally.
James, well used to repulses, made not even a
pretence of removing his quarters; but, tracing with
his forefinger in the sand, began to tease his pretty
neighbor for news from home, protesting that, amen
were the poorest letter-writers, and that his correspondents in particular, never said anything!
But what had become of the thoughtful friend,
2,1 
272     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
whose warning voice had checked too eager expectas
tion in his companions, whilst
" thou, oh hIope, with eyes so fair,"
made wild tumult in each eager breast?  I marked
his face, as he stood apart from the excited group
gathered about the bearer of our dispatches. Itwas
almnost as immobile and coldly calm as those of the
polished colossi around us, save for the burning eyes
-that seemed actually to devour the several directions
that were glanced over, or read aloud by others. His
hands, too, were tightly clutched, as though he were
thus self-sustained.- Poor fellow! I had frequently
noticed his manner before, where the happiness of
others arrested attention; it indicated, to me, a
serenity like that of the expiring hero who waved
his life-draught to another, hiding, with a smile, the
outward signs of tortured nature I Almost before
the last package was unfolded, he was advancing
with rapid strides along the majestic avenue leading
from our stand-point towards the ruins of Karnac,
and was soon lost to sight amid its massive ornaments. HIow easily mig,ht some friendly hland have
shed balm upon his sad and solitary spirit, on that
memorable day in far-off Nile-Land, when so
many hearts were gladdened with the sweet sunlight enkindled by letters/ -so many faces illumined
with smiles reflected from the ever-glowing altars of
CoUNTRY and IIOME! - 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
Sir Walter Scott, as his son-in-law informed me,
despite the vast amount of intellectual labor he
otherwise imposed upon himself, with as little flinching, apparently, as though his mind were a powerful
self-regulatinig steam-engine, had the habit of always
answerinig letters on  the day of their recetion!
Mlr. Lockhart told me that, during the researches lhe
made among the private papers of his immortal
friend, while preparing materials for his biography,
he almost invariably remarked, from  the carefuil
notations upon them, that when any delay had
occurred in replying to a letter, it arose from the
necessity of some previous investigation, or the like.
M,y astonishment upon perusing the long, elaborately-written epistles that Mr. Lockhart subsequently
gave to the world, was augmented by my knowledge
of this fact, and by my remembrance of the innumerable demands made upon his time by social and
public duties.  But " we ne'er shall look on his like
again!"  Well might his pen be styled the wand of
the mighty Wizard of the North.
A gentle tap at the library-door interrupted the
after-dinner chat of my old friend and myself. A
fair young face presented itself in answer to the bidding of my host, and, upon seeing me was quickly
withdrawn.
"Come in, my daughter, come-what will you
bave?"
19*
273 
274     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
I rose immediately to withdraw, as the young
lady. thus encouraged, somewhat timidly advanced
towards her father.
" Pray, do not disturb yourself, Colonel Lunettes,"
said she; " I only want to speak to pa one moment;
don't think of going away, I beg"
My host, too, interposed to prevent iuy leaving the
room, and I, therefore, took up A book and re-seated
myself.
"'Excuse me for lnterrupting you, pa, but may
I "-here a whisper, and then so audibly that I
could not help overhearing-" do please, dear pa!"
"Well, we'll see about it-when is the concert?"
rang out the clear voice of the father.
" But, pa, I ought to answer the note to-night or
very early to-morrow miorning-it would not be
polite to keep Mr. Blakeman "  "A note, eh?." interrupted the old gentleman,
"let me see it-go bring it to me."
I thought I could not be mistaken in the indication of reluctance to obey this direction evinced by
the slew step of my usually sprightly-mnotioned young
favorite.
"Come, Fanny, come;" said her father, when she
re-entered,  "you  have  no objection to showing
me"
"Oh, 1no0, indeed, pa,-but you are so critical," the
young lady began to protest.
"Critical! am I though!" exclaimed the parent,
with some vivacity, "perhaps so —at least I judge
somewhat, of a man's claims to the acquaintance of 
TO POLITENESS AND  FASHION.
my daughter by these things." And, adjusting his
spectacles, he opened the note his daughter offered.
"Bless my soul!" he cried, at the first glance, " what
bright-colored paper, and how  many grand flourishes!-really, my dear!"  There was a brief silence
and then the father said mildly, but firmly, "Fanny,
I prefer that you should not accept this invitation."
"Will you tell me why, pa?"
"Because the writer is not a gentlema!  No man
of taste and refinement would write such a note as
this to a lady, with whom he has only the ceremonious acquaintance that this young man has with
you. lie is evidently illiterate, too,-his note is not
only inelegantly expressed, but it is mis-spelled "
" Oh, pa"
"I assure you it is so. Your own education is
more defective than it should be with the advantages
you have had, if you cannot perceive this-read it
,gain, and tell me what word is misspelled," said her
father, returning the production under discussion to
Fanny.
The young lady sat down by the lamp to con the
task assigned her, and my host said to me-" It is
unpardonable, now-a-days, for a young man to be
ignorant in such matters as these.  When we were
young, lial, the means of acquiring knowledge generally, were lmited by circumstances; but who that
wishes, lacks them at present?-Well, my  daughter "  "Yes, pa, I see,-of course it was a mere slip of
the pen"
2T5
rF 
276     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
" A slip of the pen!" retorted the father, " and is
that a sufficient excuse? Proper respect will teach a
young man  of right feelings  towards your sex,
to take good care that no such carelessness retains a
place in his first billet to a lady-it is an indication
of c/arc((cter, my child!  Depend upon it, that tihe
man who writes in this way,-encircling some of his
words with a flourish, abbreviating others, mis-spelling, and all upon mottled paper, with a highly
orniate border, does not understand himself, and will
be guilty of other solecisms in good manners and
good taste, that will be very likely to embarrass and
shock a young lady accustomed to"
" The society of gentlemen of the o7M  scchool, like
pa and Col. Lunettes!" exclaimed Fanny, in her
usual laughling manner, snatching up the condemned
missive, and flying out of the room.
In the course of the evening, my old friend and I
joined the ladies in the drawing-room.
A merry group around a centre-table, attracted
me, and as the fair Fanny made a place beside her
agreeable little self for me, I was soon settled to my
satisfaction in the midst of the fair bevy.
"' What are you all so busy about?" I inquired, as
I seated myself.
" Oh, criticising!" cried one.
"Acquiring knowledge under difficulties," replied
another.
" Accomnplishiig ourselves in the Art El istolary,
by the study of models!" returned a third.
And sure enoiigh,-tle table was strewed with 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
cards, and notes, and an empty fancy-basket told
where these sportive critics had obtained their materials.   I soon gathered that the scrutiny Fanny's
note had undergone in the library, was the moving
cause of this sudden resuscitation of defunct billetdoux and forgotten cards.
"Only look at this one, Col. Lunettes!" exclaimed
a pretty girl opposite me, handing across a visiting
card, with the name written with ink, in rather
cramped characters, and surrounded with a variety
of awkward attempts at ornamental flourishes. "Isn't
that sufficient to condemn the perpetrator to'durance vile' in the pacradise of fools?"
" Well, here is a beautiful note, at any rate,"
exclaimed the eldest daughter of the house, " even
papa would not find fault with this "  "1 What are you saying about papa?" inquired the
master of the mansion, pausing in his walk up and
down the room, and leaning upon the back of his
daughter's chair.
"Won't you join us, sir?" returned the young
lady, making a motion to rise; "let me give you my
seat."
" No, no, sit still, child-let us hear the note that
you think unexceptionable."
" It is as simple as possible," said she, " but though
it only relates to a matter of business, I remember
noticing, when I opened it, the elegant'writing
and "
'"Well, let us hear it, my daughter."
Thus impelled, the fair reader began:
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278     TIIE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
'" Henry Wynkoop presents his respectful compliments to Miss Campbell, and begs leave to inform
her that the goods for which she inquired, a few
days since, have arrived, and are now ready for her
inspection.
" 240 MAIN ST.,
lTediesday Jforning, J3ay 22d."
" I should have said," added  Miss  Campbell,
"that I had simply requested Mr. Wynkoop to send
me word about some shawls, when any of the family
happened in there, and did not think of troubling
him to send a note."
"Let me see," said her father, taking the paper
firom her hand, "yes! just what one might expect
from that young fellow-fine, handsome, plain paper
[a glance at poor Fanny] and a neat modest seal
-all because a lady was in question; and one call
read the writing as if it were print. Look at it,
Lunettes! A promising young merchant-a friend
of ours, here.  An educated merchant —what every
man should be, who wishes to succeed in mercantile
life in this country."
"Yes," returned I, "ours is destined, if I do not
greatly mistake, to be a land of nerchant princes,
like Yenice of old, and I quite agree with you that
American merchants should be educated gentle
"Thiis young Wynkoop," continued my friend, "is
destined yet to fill some space in the world's eye,
ullees I have lost my power to judge of men. He, 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
seems to find time for everything-the other evening
he was here-(the girls had some young friends)and, happening to step into the library, I found him
standing with one of the book-cases open, and just
reaching down a volume-' I beg your pardon, sir,
if I intrude,' said he,'but I was going to look for
a passage ill the "Deserted Village," as I am not so
fortunate as to possess a copy of Goldsmith.' Of
course I assured him that the books were all at his
service, and apologized for closing the door, and seating myself at my desk, saying that a rascally Canadian lawyer had sent me a letter so badly written
that I could scarcely puzzle it out, and that his bad
French was almost unintelligible at that. I confess
I was surprised when he offered to assist me, saying
veiy modestly, that nothing was  more  confusing
than patois to the uninitiated, but that he had
chanced to have  some  experience in it.  So  he
helped me out very cleverly, in spite of my protestations at his losing so much time, and when he found
he could not aid me farther, looked up his lines, put
back my book, and quietly bowing, slipped out of
the room.  When I went back to the girls, later in
the eveniing, I heard my young friend singing with
somie lady, in a fine clear voice, and, soon after,
discovered him  in another room dancing,'money
mau' with my own wife for his partner!"
While this little sketch was in progress of narra
tion, the inspection of the miscellaneous display upon
the table had been silently progressing. And each
pretty critic had made some discovery.
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280    THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
" Here is a'regret' sent for the other night," said
Fanny, "what do you think of that, Cdl. Lunettes?"
And a large sheet of note paper was put into my
hand, clumsily folded, and containing only the
words "S.Ir. Augustus Simpkin regrets."
"A good deal is left for the imagination," I replied, "regrets what?"
"T hat he is a nq,mskul7, perhaps, but I fear there
is not that encouragement for his improvement!"
broke in the Chairman of this Committee of Investigation.
The general laugh that followed this spicy comment
had no sooner subsided, than another note caught
my eye, by its handsome penmanship. Glancing it
over, I handed it to one of the young ladies without
comment. She'looked unutterable things,' as she
quietly refolded the missive, and was about to slip it
out of sight; but the dancing eyes of the lively
Fanny had caught the whole movement, and she
insisted upon what she called fair play. So the
paper was again subjected to perusal-this time
aloud.
BALTIMORE, July 24,'55.
"William Jones takes this means of making an
apology for not calling for Miss Mary last evening.
[ assure you no offence was intended, and hope you
did not take it so.
"Yours affectionately,
"P. WILLIAM JONES.
" The MIss CAMPBELLS." 
TO POLITElESS AND FASHION.
"How did that get into the card-basket?" exclaimed Miss Campbell, in consternation, "it ought to
have been destroyed at the time "  " It has risen up in judgment against the waiter
now," said Fanny, " but he is much improved since
then.  iHe knows better now than to say'the Ads
Camnbells,' or "
"Or sign himself' Yours affectionately,' to a document commenced in the third person. So he does,
child, and he proved himself essentially polite by
writing the note-the hand is really very coir aendable.  I have no doubt the young man  well yet
acquire considerable note-ability!" And throwing
the tell-tale paper into the fire, the charitable commentator proceeded in his walk.
"A proos "-"A propos " was echoed round the
merry circle, as a servant handed a note to Miss
Campbell.
" Miss Fanny Campbell," read her sister, and
resigned the billet to its rightful owner.
Every one protested that it should be common
property, unless its contents were a secret; and the
blushing, half-pouting beauty was constrained to
open and inspect her note where she sat.
"I insist upon fai,) oplay in Miss Fanny's case,
also," said I, coming to the rescue, "and shall do
myself the honor of acting as her champion." With
that I spread out her gossamer handkerchief, and
throwing it over the top of my cane, affected to
screen the rosy face beside me. Taking advantage
of my ruse, my pretty favorite opened her note, and,
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282     THE AMERICAN G ENTLEMANIS GUIDE
partly retreating behind my broad shoulder, soon
possessed herself of its contents.
"There," said she, throwing it into the middle of
the table, "you may all read it and welcome!"
Brown heads and black, sunny curls and chestnut
"bantds," were immediately clustered together over
the prize, and Fanny, springing away, like a bird,
was, in a moment, perched on an arm of the large
chair in which her father was now ensconced, with
her arm around his neck, and her beaming eyes
glancing out from his snowy locks.
" Let Colonel Lunettes see it, you rude creatures!"
exclaimed my lively favorite, from her retreat, and
the note was immediately presented to me. Wiping
my glasses with deliberation suitable to the occasion, I "pressed my hand upon my throbbing heart,"
and read as follows:
" It will afford Mr. Howard Parkman great pleasure to attend Miss Fanny Campbell to a Concert to
be given by the "Hungarian Family," to-morrow
evening.
"If she will permit him that honor, Mrs. and Miss
Parkman, accompanied by Afr. P., will call for Miss
Campbell at half past seven o clock.
" COLEM.NAN ST.,
" Tuesday P. M."
"That's another rival for youl, Colonel Lunettes,"
exclaimed one of the girls.
"I fear my doom is sealed!" returned the old sol 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
dier thus addressed, with an air of mock resignation.
"But who  is this formidable youth, MIiss Campbell?"
"A  Bostonian, I believe,"  replied the young
lady; " cousin Charley introduced him to us at
M,rs. Gay's ball the other evening, and asked us to
call upon his mother and sister-they are friends of
his.  He was here this morning with cousin Charley, but we were out."
"Jiow stylish!" said one of our critical circle,
re-examining the elegant billet of the stranger.
"Quite au fait, too, you see, young ladies," I
added, " he invites Miss Fanny to go with a proper
chaperon to the concert, as he is so slightly acquainted with her."
As I limped across the room towards them, I heard
my friend say to his daughter, who still retained her
seat, " certainly, unless you prefer to go with Mr.
Blakeman."
"Oh, pa!" protested the sweet girl, " but what
excuse shall I make to 3M[r. Blakeman?"
" Tell him, in terms, that your father does not per mit you to go anywhere, alone, with a young man
with whom hle has no acquainitance-Lunettes, you're
not g(ainug?" rising as he spoke.
It is high time-my carriage must be waiting.
Mliss Fanny, permit me the privilege of an old
fiiend,"-Ikissing her glowing cheek —and,  as she
skipped out into the hall with her father and me, I
whispered-" About this young Bostonian?   Is it
all over with him?"
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284    THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUDE
"What, Hal-jealous?" exclaimed  her father,
laughing-" do you fear the flight of our gazelle,
here?"
' -No danger of my eloping! No, indeed! at least
with any one except-Colonel Lunettes!" replied
the charming little witch, as her nimble fingers fastened my wrappings.
"Bravo!" cried her father; "that would be glorious! Seventeen and"
" Eighty-two," interrupted'your old uncle; " Mlay
and December! But, happily for me, fair Fanny,
my keart can never grow old while I have the happiness of knowing you."
I hope none of you will ever, even when writing
in a foreign language, fall into the mistake made by
a young Pole, with whom I once had a slight
acquaintance. Ile was paying his addresses to a
young lady, and, while most assiduously making his
court to the fair object of his passion, was temporari]y separated from her, by her leaving home on a
pleasure excursion. At the first stopping-place of
her party, the lady found a letter awaiting her,
written in the neatest manner, and in excellent English-which her lover s2oke in a very imperfect manner. It appeared to the recipient of this complimentary effusion, however, at the first glance, that its
contents were not especially relevant to the occasion
of a first billet-doux from her admirer.  Reading it 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
more deliberately, something familiar in the lang,uage struck her suddenly, and after pondering a moment, she turned over the leaves of a new book which
was among the literary stores of our travelling-party,
and soon came to the exact counterpart of passage
after passage, as recorded in the letter of the gallant
Pole!
The volume was, I think,'Hlannah More's Memoirs," which had probably been recommended to
the young student of our language by his teacher, or
some friend, as containing good  specimens of te
episto7lary style!
With the hope that you may all escape being the
subjects of such merriment as wasoccasioned by the
discovery of my fair friend, I remain, as ever,
Affectionately yours,
IJARRY LUNLTTFs.
.0
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286     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
LETTER IX.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
Though accomplishments are a very
poor substitute for the more substantial portions of a
thorough education, no one should be so indifferent
to the embellishments of life as wholly to neglect
their cultivation.
With Europeans some attention to this subject
always makes part of a thorough education, but
among a new people, differing so essentially from the
nations of the Old World in social habits, the leisure
and inclination that induce such a system of early
discipline are both still wanting-speaking generally.
It is not the lack of wealth-of that we have enough
-but  of a  cultivated, discriminating  taste, the
growth of time and favoring circumstances, which
is not yet diffused among us.  But, though our young
men, even of the more favored class, do not enjoy
the carefully elaborated system of early training,
common abroad, personal effort will produce a result
similar in effect, if well-directed and steadfastly pur; 
0
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
sued, and the best of all knowledge-that most beneficial in its influence upon character-is acquired by
unaided individual exertion. Young Americans,
above the men of all other countries, should lack no
incentive to add, as occasion may permit, tasteful
polish to the more essential solidity of mental
acquirements.
I know of nothing better calculated to foster
refinement and purity of life than the cultivation of
a Taste for the -Fine Arts. I do not refer to a dilettante affectation of familiarity with the technicalities
of artistic language, or to fashionable pretension and
an assumption of connoisseurship, but to honest,
manly, aesthletical perceptions, quickened and elevated by familiarity with the true principles of
Art, and by the study of the highest productions of
genius.
Some knowledge of the practice, as well as of the
principles of drawiing, is a very agreeable and useful
accomplishment, and one that may be acquired with
little or no instruction, save that to be obtained from
books.
Among the advantages collaterally arising from
familiarity with this art, is the increased quickness
and enjoyment it lends to a diseerunment of the beautiflu in nature, both in its minute manifestations and
its grand developments. A fondness for sketch]ny,
leads, also, to a partiality for rural excursions, and
for the physical sciences; and all those tastes where
the main purposes of life permit their indulgence,
serve to elevate, refine, and expand the higher facul.
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288    THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
ties, to give them habitual dominion over the propensities and to restrain sensuous enjoyments within
their legitimate limits.
A Taste for.Jfusic must, of course, be ranked
among the elegances of social life, but it should not
be forgotten that a practical kunowledge of any one
branch of this Art has no direct effect to enlarge the
mind, like that of Painting, for instance. It is only
a sensuous pleasure, though a refined one, and is, as
I have had frequent occasion to remark, too frequently permitted to engross both time and faculties
that should properly be, in part, at least, more diffusively employed. Musical skill, though a pleasant
acquirement, is not a sufficient substitute for an
acquaintance with general Literature and Art; nor
will its most exquisite exhibitions always furnish an
equivalent for intellectual pleasures, whether of a
personal or social nature.
Dancing should be early learned, not only because,
like  musical knowledge, it is a source of social and
domestic enjoyment, but as materially assisting in
the acquirement of an easy and graceful carriage and
manner.  It is a good antidote, too, to mauvaise
honte, and almost essential among the minor accomplishments of a man of the world.
R?iding and.Driving should never be neglected
by those who possess the means of becoming familiar
with them. Convenience, health and pleasure combine to recommend both. lo indulgence of the
pride of sk7zl, however, should be permitted to exalt
these accessories of a polite education into the main 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
business of life, as I believe I have before reminded
)'011.
The broadsword exercise, pisto7-siotoling, athletic
sports and  ganes, svo,)tigt, gygnnastic exercises, etc.,
etc., may  be  ranked  among  the  minor  manly
accomplishments with which it is desirable to be
farmiliar.
Of no small importance, and of no insignificant
rank as an accomplishment, is a ready and graceful
elocutio?,.  Possessed by professional men, its value
call scarcely be overrated, and no young man, whatever his aims in life, should esteem it unworthy of
attention, since private as well as puablic life afford
constant occasion for its exercise.  To read iiteligib7y, audibly, and agreeably, to speak with taste and
elegance, to address an audience-whether a mass
assemblage of the sovereign peqople, or the servants
of the people, in Congress assembled, or an intelligent
audience gathered for intellectual instruction and
enjoyment,  each require careful and  persevering
practice, critical discrimnination and disciplined taste.
And what young American-with that control of
circumstances which especially distinguishes us from
all other peoples, with the high aspirations and pur'poses to which all are equally entitled-shall say
that he will not have the most urgent occasion for,
and derive high advantage from the acquisition of
the Art of Elocution?  But, apart from cousiderations of utility, correct speaking and writing are
indispensable requisites to the privileges of good
society, and elegant polish in this respect is the
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290     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUJIDE
desirable result and certain indication of natural
refinement.
I will only add that elocutionary skill always
affords the possessor the means of promotingr social
and domestic enjoyment, and that the finest sentiments and the most eloquent language lose half
their proper effect when uttered in a niunbling or
muttering tone, as well as in too loud or too low a
voice.
Closely allied to the accomplishment of which we
have been speaking, is that of Conversational ease
and elegance, an art in which all other nations are
excelled by the French, and in which we, perhaps,
most successfully emulate them.
Unfortunately for our social advancement in this
respect,
"The well of Enizlish undekfied"
is not the only source from which the vehic7le of
thought is derived. The use of slang phrases, of
crack words, even among the better educated classes
of society-and that in writing as well as in conversation-is becolming noticeably prevalent.  Nothing
can be more detrimental to the advancement of
those who desire to acquire colloquial polish than
the habit of using this inelegant language, and
there is nothing into which one may glide more
insensibly, when  it becomes  familiar from association.
You  will, perhaps, say that  the  amusement
afforded to others by the occasional adoption of theso 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
mirthl-provoking vulgarisms alf',rds an apology for
their use; and that would be a legitimate excuse,
did the matter end there.  But who can hope successfullv to establish the line of demarcation that
shall separate the legitimate sphere of their applicability from that in which they cannot properly claim
a place?  We know how much we are all under
the dominion of /abit in regard to the artificial
observances of life, and that once established, any
practice in which we indulge ourselves may manifest itself unconsciously to us. Hence, then, it is no
more safe to acquire the habit of interlarding our
discourse with inelegances of expression, ungrammatical language, Yankeeisms, localisms (to coin a
word if it be not one, more expressive here than
pvrovifcialisrnms) or vulgarisms of any kind, than to
permit ourselves the perpetration of other solecisms
in good-breeding,  with the protection only of a
mental limritatio, to their undue encroachment upon
our claims to refined associations.
There is, therefore, no safe rule, except that
dictating the unvarying adoption of the purest aqd
most expess8ive idionmatic English we can command.
I remember to have heard it said of a celebrated
conversationist,   whom  I knew  in my  younger
days, that he not only always used a good word to
express his meaning, but the very best word afforded
by our language.
The habit of thinking clearly might naturally be
supposed to produce the power of conveying ideas
to others with distinctness, were not the impression
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292     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN)S GUIDE
controverted by much evidence to the contrary. I
must believe, however, that the difference between
persons, ill this respect, arises more frequently from
want of attention to the subject, than from all
other causes combined.  I know of no other way
of sufficiently explaining the awkward, slipshod,
unsatisfactory mode of talking so common even
among educated people.  Were we accustomed to
regarding conversational pleasures as among the
highest enjoyments of existence, and of making
them a part of our daily life-as the French of all
ranks do-a vast difference would exist between
what is, and what might be. With what intensity
of interest, with what vivacity of manner do the
polite and cultivated French talk! The salons of
the leaders of ton in Paris are nightly filled with
the literati, the artists, the soldiers and statesmen
concentered in that brilliant capitol.  And they
assemble not to eat, not even to dance, to the exclusion of all other gratifications, but to talk-to
exchange ideas upon topics and incidents of passing
interest-to receive and to communicate instruction,
as well as enjoyment. And even the common
people-whether eating their frugal evening repast
at a little table placed in the street, or seated in
groups in the garden of the Tuileries-how they
talk! with what abanidon-to use their own wordwith what geniality, with what sprightliness I The
very children, sporting like so many birds of
gorgeous plumage, and musical tones, in the public
gardens and promenades, prattle of matters inte 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
resting to them, with a graceful vivacity nowhere
else to be seen.  All classes give thems8elves up to
ibtake tine for it, as one of the necessities of
daily life!  But I should apologize for this digression.
The advantage of habitual practice, then, cannot
be  too  highly commended  to those  who would
acquire colloquial skill.  There is, also, no better
mode  of fastening knowledge  in the mind  than
by accustoming one's self to clothing ideas in
spoken languiage, and the mere attempt to do so,
gives distinctness to thought.
But while fluency and eafse are the results of
practice, the emnbellist/gents of conversation require
careful culture. Wit, Humor, Repartee, though to
some extent natural gifts, may undoubtedly be
improved, if not attained, by artificial training.
It is said that Sheridan, one of the most celebrated wits and conversationists   of his day, prepared himself for convivial occasions, like an
intellectual gladiator, ready to enter the lists in a
valiant struggle for supremacy. Hie may be said to
have made Conversation a Profession, to which he
gave his whole attention, as did the celebrated
youth who exceeded all his fellows in the tie of his
nelk-cloth, to that-ysterious art!
Sheridan's practice was, to make brief notes,
before going into society, of appropriate topics and
witticisms for each occasion, upon which he relied
for sustaining his reputation as a boon companion
and accomplished talker. There is a good story
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told of his being exceedingly nonplussed, on some
important occasion, by having his memoranda purloined by a friend,  hlio, while waiting to accompany the wit to an entertainment to which both
were invited, stole his thunder firom his dressingtable, where it had been placed in readiness. The
unlucky literary Boanerges was  as powerless as
Jupiter robbed of his bolts!
But if one would not desire preparation as elaborately artificial as that ascribed to this spoiled fondling of English aristocracy, there seems to be a propriety in making some mental, as well as external
arrangements before entering society. Thus, passingly to reflect, while making one's toilet for such
an occasion, upon the general character of the conmpany one is to meet, and upon the subjects most
appropriate for conversation with those with whomn
one will probably be individually associated, may
not be amiss. Nor will it be unwise to recall such
reminiscences of personal adventures, popular rntelligence, etc., as the day may have furnished.
HIappily, however, for those who distrust their
power to surprise by erudition, or delight by
wit, goocl-sense, accompanied  by good-hItumor and
courtesy, render their possessors the most enduringtS  agreeable of social  andy domestic  companions.  The favorite8 of society are usually those
who wound no one's self-love, either by imposing
upon others a painful sense of inferiority, or by
rudeness, impertinence, or assumption. Few have
sufficient magnanimity to forgive superiority, but 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
good-nature and politeness need no excuse with
any.
Oh, let the ungentle spirit learn from hence,
A small unkindness is a great offence I
All may shun the guilt of giving paint."
Wit, however racy, should never find a place in
conversation when pointed at the expense of another,
and, indeed, personalities, even when free from condemnation on this score, are usually in bad taste.
People of sensibility and refinement are much more
likely to be annoyed than gratified by being made
the auditors of conversation, even when politely intended, which brings them into especial notice.
Hience, nothing requires more delicacy and tact
than the language of  compliment, which should
always be carefully distinguished from that of mere
flattery. The one is the expression of well-bred courtesy, the other is oppressive and enmbarrassing to all
rightly constituted persons, and discreditable to the
taste by which it is dictated.
As a general rule, it is better to talk of things
Trian of persons, and William Penn's rule to " say
nothtinr  of others, un7ess yom cas say something good
of them," should have no exception. Let nothing
tempt you into the habit of indulging in gossip,
scandal, and unmanly puerility —not even  a goodnatured desire to assimilate yourself to the companionship of temporary associates. In this respect,
as in many others.
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296     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
"Vice is a monster of such hideous mien,
As to be hated, needs but to be seen;
But seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace."
No conscientiously enlightened man can reflect
for a moment upon the heinousness of slander, or
indeed of evil speaking, when not allied with false
hood, wvithout abhorrence; and yet, how few  can
assume that, in Heaven's High Chancery, there is no
such dark record against them.
Permit me to remind you that a mere difference
of into?2ation or of emphasis, in repeating conversational remarks, will sometimes suffice to convey a
wholly erroneous impression to others, and that a
mysterious glance, a nod, a shrug, a smile, maybe
made equivalent to the "' offense of 8poken words."
I have recommended the adoption of good, pure
English as the most unexceptionable colloquial coin.
RecuLrring to this point, let me express the opinion
that the most pretentious, or erudite, languag,e, is
not always that best adapted to the purposes of practical life. No one is bound to speak ungrammati.
cally or incorrectly, even when communicating withl
the illiterate, but the 8implest phraseology, as well
as the most laconic, is often the most appropriato
and expressive, under such circumstances.
Companionship with the educated justifies the
use, without justly incurring the charge ofpedantry,
of every mode of conveying ideas that we are assured
is intelligible to them.  Thus classical scholars may
use the learned languages, if they will, in mutual in 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
tercoutrse; and the popular and familiar words and
phrases we have borrowed firom the French, are
often a convenient resource, under similar circumstances.  All this is best regulated by good-breeding
and taste.  It is always desirable to err on the safe
side, where there is a possibility of misapprehension,
or of incurring the imnpliation of affectation, or of a
love of display.
This last consideration, by the way, affords an
additional incentive to the selection of such companionship as is best suited to elicit the exercise of
conversational grace, and stimulate the mental cultivation upon which it must be based. In addition to
this advantage, is that thus afforded of familiarizing
onlle's self with the usages of those who may be regarded
as reodel8 for the inexperienced. The modesty so
becoming in the young, will inspire a wish to listen
rather than talk; but-though to be an attentive
and interested listener is one of the most agreeable
and expressive of compliments-reinember that
practice, if judiciously directed, cannot be too soon
attempted, to secure this desirable attainment.
These remarks, I am fully aware, have been desultory and digressive, but they were designed to be
rather suggestive than satisfactory; and experimental knowledge will, I trust, more than compensate
you for my conscious deficiencies.  I will add only a
general remark oiu two, and then no longer tax your
patience.
The ladies-dear creatures!-are most prone, it
must be admitted, to the use of exagerated language,
13*
297
40
m 
298     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GLIDE
in conversation; with them tihe superlative form of
the adjective will alone suffice for the full expression
of feeling or opinion.  But this peculiarity is by no
*    means confined to those in whomn enthusiasm and its
natural expression are most becoming.  The sterner
sex are far firom being exempt from this habit, which
often involves looseness of thou~ght, inaccuracy of
stltemeit, orpositive un)trutlfquness.  It is desirable,
as ca point of et/hcs, to practise care in this regard.
Using, the strongest forms of expressions on ordinary
occasions, leaves one no reserved co~p,s of language
for those requiring unusual impressiveness.   Accu     racy is the great essential, many times, in the choice
of language. A clear idea, clearly and unequivocally
expressed, is indicative of a good and well-disci     plined intellect, each, as I have before intimated. the'
result of actten(tion and practice.
Well-bred people are careful, when obliged to dif     fer with others in conversation, to do so in polite
language, and never to permit the certainty of being
in the right to induce a dictatoral or assuming man     ner.  When only a difference of opinion or of taste
is involved, young persons, particularly, should scru     pulously abstain from any appearance of obstinacy,
or self-sufficiency, and defend their impressions, if at
all, with a courteous deference to others. Usually,
nothing is gained by argument in general society.
No one is convinced, because no one wishes to be,
and many persons, even when' convinced, will argue
still,' because unwilling, from wounded self-love, to
admit it.  Much acrimnony of feeling is engendered
r 
TO POLITErNESS AND FASHION.
in this way-pertinacity often causing an unpleasant
conclusion to what was begun in entire good-feeling.
No one is bound to renounce a claim to his individual rights in this respect, but modesty and courtesy
will never sit ill upon the young, while steadfastly
defending even a point of principle. "'Never," said
Mr. Aladison, in an admirable letter of advice to a
nephew, " never forget that, precisely in provortion
as you differfrom others in opinion, they difer wits
you."  Let me add, that they who are honestly seeking knowledge and truth, will carefully review and
re-weigh opinions, tastes, and principles in regard to
which they find themselves differing essentially with
those whomn age, experience, and learning render
their admitted superiors.
And if contradiction and opinionativeness are
inadmissible in good society, at least equal taste and
tact are required in conveying information to others.
Some graceful phrase, some self-renouncing, admnission or explanation, which may secure you from the
envy or dislike that wounded vanity might otherwise
engender, should not be forgotten when circumstance
or education give you an advantage over others in
the intercourse of domestic or social life.
"As in smooth oil the razor best is whet,
So wit is by politeness sharpest set;
Their want of edge from their offense is seen i
Both pain us least when exquisitely keen,
The fame men gq;ve is for the joy they find?"
ft is usually in bad taste to talk of one's self i,
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300     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
general society.   Humility of language, in this re
spect, may easily be interpreted into insincerity, ind
it is'at least equally difficult, on the other hand, to
avoid the imputation of egotism.   Frankness with
those to whom you are bound by the ties of friendship, will, many times, be the best proof you can give
of the sincerity of y-our-confidence and regard, but
this will in no degree interfere with a certain se{abnegation in ordinary social intercourse.  Politeness
may dictate our being listened to with a semblance of
interest, when our own health, affairs, adventures, or
misfortunes are the subject of detailed discourse on
our part, but the sympathy of the world is not easily
enkindled, and pity is often mingled with contempt.
People go into society to be amused, not to have
their courtesy taxed by appeals to sensibilities upo.
which others have no claim.  Carlyle has well said,
" Silently swallow tie chagrqins of your _osition;
every _position has them."  And it is so; but one's
" private griefs" are not lessened by exposure, noI
made more endurable by being constantly the theme,
either of one's thoughts or conversation.  Let me add
that their legitimate use is to teach us a ready sympathy with the sorrows and trials of others, rathei
than a hardened self-engrossment.
While you endeavor, therefore, to
" Conceal youysel' as weel's ye can
Frae critical dissection,"
seek to excel in personal agreeability, not for the sake
of superiority so much as to secure the means of giv 
TO POLI,ITENESS AND FASHION.
mng pleasure to others, and of entitling yourself to
the favorable regard of those whose society it is desirable to enjoy.  Even the readiest admirers of wit
mnay weary of the very brilliancy of its flashes, if the
coruscations too constantly recur, as the eye tires of
sheet-lightniing, often repeated; but who will weary
of geniality, amiability, and
"Good breeding, the blossom of good sense,"
any sooner than will the eye of the lambent light of
fair Diana?
No single characteristic of conversation, perhaps, so
universally commends the possessor to the favor of
society, as clteerftlness. "A [aitcgh," said an eminent observer of society, "s Isthe best vocal n7usic; it
is a glee i  which everybody can take part!"   I remember, once, being for some weeks in a hotel with
a number of invalids, one of whom, though  a constant sufferer, always met me with a pleasant smile,
and uttered his passing salutations in a voice cheery
as a hunter's horn.  Really, his simple " Good morning, Colonel Lunettes," was so replete with goodhuImor, courtesy, and cheerfulness, as to do one good
like a cordial. It so impressed me that, at length,
I responded, " Good morning, cheerful 8i',-I believe
you never fail to greet your friends in a manner that
gives them pleasure." His pleasant smile grew
pleasanter, and his bright eye brighter, as he replied-" I always  make  a priiciple of speaking
cheerfully to the sick, especially-they, of all oth.
ers, are most susceptible to outward impressions.'"
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302    THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
" There is a world of philosophy, as well as of hin
manity, in what you say," returned I, "and I ca:
personally testify to the good effects of your kindly
habit."
But it is not alone the sick, the sad, or the sensitiv
who hail a cheerful companion with delight-thes
funman SSunbeeams bring warmth and gladness to al
-even the least susceptible feel the effects of
their genial presence, almost unconsciously, and fire
quently seek and enjoy their conversation when eve
elegance and erudition would fail of attraction.
The same tact and self-respect that will preserve
you from exhibitions of vanity and egotisrn, wil
dictate discrimination in the selection of topics  of
conversation, bearing upon matters of taste and sen
timinent, as well as of opinion and principle. Al
affectation or assumption of superiority in this re
spect is offensive and worse than useless. Those with
whom you have mental affinities will understand and
appreciate you; but beware, especially if sensitively
constituted, how you expose your sensibilities to th
ridicule, or your principles to the professed distrus
of those with whom, for any reason, you canno
measure colloquial weapons upon entirely equa
terms.
On the contrary, again, no well-bred man  eve
rudely assails either the predilections or the princi
ples of others in general society. This is no more
the proper arena for intellectual conflicts than fo
political sparring, or theological disputes. Whateve
tends to disturb the general harmony of a circle, o 
'10' I'OLITEINESS AND  FASIIION.
to give pain to any one present, is inexcusable, however truthful and important in the abstract, however
wise or wvitty in itself considered, may be observations tending to either or both ri-tlts.
This bring's  e to dw\elling a momnent npon a ]indred  poinIt-tlie discourtesy sometimes exhibited by
-ounln  men tow-ardcls ladies and clergymen, il the use
of equivocal lan guagce, and the introduction of exceptionable subjects in their hearing.  Ainything  that
w-ill crimson the cheekl of true womanhood, or invade the?ncofzacioz[8heas of in-tocence, is -unworthy
and unmanly, to a degree of whichl it is not easy
to find language to express  suficient abhorrence.
Thte defeneelessness of the dependent sex, in this, as
in all          other respects, is their best protection with all
who —
" Give the world assurance of a nan!
And the same shield is presented by those whose
profession precludes their adopting the mreans of selfdefence permitted to the world at large.  Nothing(
can be more vulgar-setting aside the immorality of
the thingr-than to speak disrespectfully of religion, or
of its advocates and professors, in society-what then
slhall be said of those who assail the cars of tlhe
aekliiowledg,ed champions of Christianity with infidel
etinmeits, contemptuous  insinuations,  or profane
expletives?  Depend upon it, a wzctn of tle qorlc7,
wNlatever his honest doubts, or unorthodox conlvictions, will be as little likely to present himiself as a
maIk in regard to these matters for the susiciouOU
itst, or the pc27a btle msalp~e/~ensio2 of society
303 
3(0 —     TIH-E AIEi-ICAN GENTLENIAN S'GUIl)E
as to subject himself tothe charges of extre,ne j,uQe.
ility and low breeding by assailing a clergyman with
ridicule,  or a woman  with  libertinism,  however
exquisite may be his wit in the one case, or applarentlv refined his insinuations, in the other.
AWhile recommeniding to your attention tie selection of suitable and tasteful subjects of general conversation, I should not olmit to remind  you that
nothlling, but acknowledged intimacy  sanctions the
manifestation of curiosity respecting the affairs of
others.  As a rule, direcC lteUCto8s are i'~admissible
in good society.  Listen with politenes, to what may
be voluntarily communicated to you b2 your associates, regarding themselves, but on no account, indulg,e an impertinent curiosity in such..matters; and
whlen courtesy sanctions the maniifestati(,n of interest,
express your desire for information in polite  language, and with a half-apologetic manner, that will
permit reserve,  without  embarrassment  to either
party.  Let me add, that an uncalled-for exhibition
of your familiarity with the private affairs of a friend,
when his own presence and manner should furnish
your proper clue to his wishes, is to prove yourself
unworthy  of his confidence.  As  well might one
boast of his acquaintance with the great, or  ssIumen
an unceremonious manner towards them, on iunsuitable occasions.  In either case, one is liable to the
repulse sustained by an unfortunate candidate foi
fashionable distinction, who, approaching a member
of English haut tor in the streets of London, saicld
"I lb)elieve I had the honor of Lknowing you in the 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
country, sir."-"  Itecn we (abain q)neet in the country," was the reply, "I shall be pleased to renewe the
acqulaintance!"
Q?tickie.ss of repsatee may be reckoned among the
graces of the colloquial art, and those who are gifted
with activity of intellect, and have acquired facility
in the use of expressive language, should possess the
power thus to embellish their social intercourse.
Every one is now and then inspired in this way, I
believe; but few persons, comparatively, even
among the most practical conversationists,  excel in
this respect.  How fewa, for instance, would have responded as readily, in anil emergency, as did the halfdrunk servant of Swift
"Is my fellow here?" inquired the Dean, pushing
open the door of a low tavern much frequented by
his often-mnissing chalet.
A  nondescript figure came  staggering forward,
and stuttered out —"' YTour -L-ordshit's f-a-l —o-w
ca72't b-be f-foundc ii, all I-Ire-Ire7land!"
I have lately met, somewhere in my reading, with
the following anecdote of the elder Adams, as he is
frequently called. I remember, at this moment; no
better illustration of ready repartee:
"How are you this morning, sir?" asked a friend
hilo called  to pay his respects to this patriotic
son of New England, during the latter days of liis
life.
" Not'well," replied the invalid; "I am not well.
[ inhabit a weak, frail, decayed tenement, open tc
300 
306     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMIAN S GUIDE
the winds, and broken in upon by the stormis  and
what is worse, fior  all t    caI n learn, tIle landlord
7ocs n ot i2itelcZ( to makZe e2)i2!"
A1 ~'eac/y and  r('acqfu r(eply to a comf7iim&eit, may,
also, be regarded as a conversational embellislhment.
It is not polite to rctort to the language of courtesy
with a charge of insincerity, or of flattery.   t'ayft/d(e7 s frequenitly affords the best resource, or the
reto,t, coutteo'?es, as in LT ord Nelson's celebrated reply
to Lady IHamilton's questions of "A Why do yoL differ
so much fiom other men? Why are you so superior
to the rest of your sex?"   "If there were more
Emmas, there would be more Nelsons."  One may
say, "I fear I owe your commendation to the partialitv of fi'iendship;" or, "' I trust you may never be
undeceived in regard to my poor accomplishments;"
or, " rPeally, madam, your penetration eclables you
to nmakle discoveries for me."  Thlen again, to one of
the lenient sex, one may reply-" AIrs. Blank sees
all her friends througih the most becoming of glasses
-her own eves."  And to an older gentleman, who
honors  you  with the fiat of a compliment, thus
prov#ing that it may sometimes be false that
"The vanquished have no friends,"
" really, sir, I do not know whether I am most over
lwhellned by admiration for your wvit and politeness,
or by gratitude for your kindness." Or some phrase
like this will occasionally be appropriate' "I am
afiraid, sir, I shall plumne myself too highly upon yonr 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
good opinion.  You do mne mucli honor;" or, "It
will be my c7evoir, as well as my bappiness, for the
fiuture, to deserve yodir commendlation, sir;" or,
Youl insp)ire as muchl as you encourage me, dear
sir-if I p(,ssess any claim to your flattering coompliment, -you hlave*yourself elicited it."  To a complliiment to one's wAit, or tlhe like, one may repl)ly JDullness is always banished by the presence of
I\iss;" or, "  lWho coul fail to be, in some degree, at least, inspired in suchl  a presence?"   Thlen,
again, a reply like this will suffice-" I am  only
too hlaplpy in being permitted to amuse  you, maclalm."
Permit me in this connlection, a few words respectin, co?Lesatio?- with ladies.  Tioughl all mere silliness and twaddle  shlould be  regarded as equally
unvworthy of themn  and yourselves, yet, in general
association with the fairest ornaments of creation,
acgIeec(bility[, rather than profundity, should be your
aim, in the chloice of topics.  Sensitive, tasteful,
refined,
"Anid variable as the shade
By th-e light quivering aspen made,"
their vividness of imagination and sportiveness of
fancyc demand similarity of intellectual gifts, or the
gracefiul tribute of, at least, temporary assimilation.
)lacyftlncss, cheeiftilness, versatility, and  courte?J
should characterize colloquial intercourse with ladies;
but the deference due them should never degene rate
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.08     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
into mere servile acquiescence, or mawkish sentimentality.
The utmost reflnement of language and of patter
should always be regarded as essential, under such
circumstances, to the discourse of a well-bred man;
and should, of course, distinguish hisi ainner as well.
Thus, all slang phrases, everything approaching to
dozuble ecntecZie, all familiarity of address, unsauctioned by relationship' acknowledged intimacy, all
mis-timedl or unsanctioned use of nick-names and
Christian names, are as inadmissible in good society
as are personal familiarities, nudging, winking, whispering, etc.
Too much care cannot be taken in avoiding all
subjects that may have the effect to wound or distress others.  I thinkl  I have before remarked tlhat
people go into society for enjoyment-relaxation
fi'om the grave duties and cares of life-not to be
depressed by the misanthropy of others, or disturbed
by details of scenes of horror. I have known persons who had such a morbid taste for such things as
always to insist upon reading aloud, even in the
hearing of children and ladies, the frightful newspaper details of rail-road accidents and steamboat
explosions. I remember, in particular, once having
the misfortune to be acquainted with such a social
incubus, to whom a death in the neighborhood was
a regular God-send, and to whom the wholesale
slaughter made by the collision of rail-cars served as
colloquial capital for weeks-indeed until some pro.
il 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
vident body corporate supplied new material for his
cormorant powers of mental digestion! Ilis letters
to distant fiiends were a regular bil  of mzo]tc~[y,
filled with minute accounts of the peculiar form of
disease by which every old woman of his acquanlltance was enabled to shuffle off this mortal coil, and of
every accident that occurred in the country for miles
around-from the sudden demise of a poor widow's
cow, to the broken leg of a robber of bird's-nests! I
shlall never forget the revulsion of feeling he produced for me, one serene summer evening, as I was
placidly strolling over the sands by the sea-shlore,
drinking in the glory of old Neptune's wide-spread
ealm, by inflicting upon me, not only kimnse-7
w-hich was enough for mortal patience-but a long
rigmarole about the great numbers of fishes washed
upon the shore by a recent stormi, who had had their
eyes picked out by birds of prey, while still struggling for life in an uncongeniial  element!  On
another occasion, I had the misfortune to be priesent when a young lady was thrown into violent
hysterics by his mentioning, with as much gusto as
an inveterate "collector" would have exhibited in
boasting the possession of a steakc from the celebrated
" antediluvian beef," immortalized by Cuvier,* that
hlie had picked up a small foot with a lady's boot on
* Speaking in one of his public lectures, of the recent discovery
(amid the eternal snows of Siberia, I think), of the carcass of a
maastodon, upon which the hunting-dogs of the explorers had fed
-" Titus," said the great naturalist,'" did n?o(Irrn (oq.s gorge tl,es,.
seies'upon antedil?uvian beef!"
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310     THE  AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDEi
it, while visiting the scene of a late rail-road acci,
deint!
But avoidiing these a,ggravated forms of grossness
ks not enough.  True politeness requires attention to
the peculiarities of each of the company you are inl
-.teaching, for instance, your abstaining fiom allusions to their personal defects or misfortunes, to the
embarrassment of conversing with deaf persons, in
the presence of those thus  afflicted, to lameness,
when some one present has lost a limb, to the )eculiarities of age, in the hearing, of elderly persons, to
the vulgar impression that all lawyers are knaves,
when one of the sons of that noble profession is
among your auditors-to the murderous reputation
of the disciples of Esculapius, etc.  This rule will
teach, too, the use of a less ofiensie  term than that
of " old maid," whlen speaking of women of no parti
cular age, in the hlearing of such as are by courtesy
only, without the pale alluded to; and the propriety
of not appealing to such authority in relation to
natters of remote personal remembrance!
In no country, with the social institution s of wh ih
I am fanmiliar, do the peculiar opiniionls obtain, whicll
prevail in this country respecting iC aqe.  " Young
America" regards every one as old, apparently, wlho
hlas attained majority, and wo?oe~2, in particular, are
subjected to a most unjust ordeal in this respect.
The French have a popular saying that no woman
is agreeable until she is forty; and jn both France
and England, ma)-riaye-vlich first entitles a young
lady to a decided position in society -sually occurs 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
at a mnrchi iater period in her life than with us.  In
neither of those countries are girls bro?/ghlt out at an
ag'e when here they are fiequently already mothlers!
Eut to retuLirn: nothing is more ill-bred, than tlhis
too fiequent assumption of thle claims of woimeln to
be exempt  from  social obligationis and deprived of
their proper places in society, in this country, while
still retaining all their pristine claims to agreeability.
Polished  manners,  cultivated  tastes and personal
attractions, are not to have their claims abrogated
by Time.  You remember the poet says:
"The little Loves are infants ever,
The Graces are of every age!"
I well remember being intensely chagrined by ani
exhibition of nuder-breeding  in  this  way  wlile
inaking a morning visit, with a young coluntryimalt
of ours, upon a beautiful Englisb girl, a distant relative of his.
After discussirng, London fogs, and other kindred
topics, Jonathan suddenly burst forthl, as if suddenly
inspired with a bright tlhoughlt.
" Ilow's the old lady?"
The largest pair of blue eyes, opening, to their
full extent, turned wonderingly upon the querist.
"Your,zother,-is she well this'moining?"
"BlaIamma is pretty well, thank you; but it is not
possible that you regard her as old!  Nlamma is in
the very prime of life, only just turned of five and
forty! Dear mother! she is lookiing very pale and
sad in her w-idow's cap, but we have never tliouight
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312     THE AIMERICAN GENTLEMAN' S GUIDE
of her as old," and a shadow, like the sudden darkening of a fair landscape, dimmed those deep blue eyes
and that fine forehead.
But enough upon this collateral point.
I trust you will need no argument to convince you
of the vulgarity and immorality of permitting yourselves thle practice of,repe(tti)y-  savate conve)-sation,.
Nothling will more surely tend to deprive you of
the respect and friendship of well-bred people, since
nothing is more  thoroughly understood  in  good
society, tlhan a tacit recognition of that essential
security to social confidence and good-feeliing whlich
utterly interdicts the repetition of private conversation.
Let me only add to these rambling observations
the assurance that a  -ecady compliance with the
wishes of others, in exercising any personal acconmplishment, is a mark of genuine good-breedinlg.
During one of myv visits to London, somne years
since, the Duke of -- invited me to run down with
him, for a few days, to his magnificent estate in
shire.
.Piding one morning with my host and a numerous party of  his guests, we  paused  to breathe
our horses, and enjoy the fine prospect, ulpon the
summit of a hill overlooking the wide-spread acres
of his lordship.
"Here the estate of my nei,lghblor, Air.,     joins 
TO POLITENESS AND FASIION.
my land," said tlhe DIuke, p)ointing, withl his ridin,whlip, towarids a  inarrow, thickly-w-ooded valley, at
our feet.' You  catch  a glimpl)se -of his  tu'rrets
tiirouTll thle oals y-onder.  This spot always reminds
me,' piursued our hlost, laughling, " of an aimusini
ineideit of whichl it w-as tl-ie scene,years ago, wheIt
the fal-ilv of m-  uei-ghl)or had not become as distinguis]ied as it i1now is, among tlhe philanthropists of
the age.  X  -oung' fi'iend of ours, w.Iho was spendig  the sliootiing-seasou here wlith my sons, while
cagerly  pursuing his gamne, one  morning,  unconsciousily tres)passed upon the preserves of Mr. 
The  report of hiis fowling-piece brought MAr. -
sudidenll  to his side, jist as he was triu-mphlantly
bagging his bird.  AMy excellent nei,ghbor, with all
hi- admirable qualities, is sometimes  a little choleric, and yoiu know, Col. Lunettes, [bowving and
sinilinuT tlhat ]}otlhin, sooner roulses tlhe ilre of a true
E,il=ish   aq, tlani ani invasion of tlhe -c?-)e ],e, wa."
" Si.!' cried MNr. —, in a voice tremnbling, with
ill-suppressed fury,' do you know that you are tres)assiT,,  thlat these are qn, grounds?'
"    c ioung guest  was  not permitted  fully  to
explain, before the anigry mani again burst forth with
a tirade, whichl  he  concluded. by askling'T What'
would you do yourself, sir, under such circumstances?
Hiow wIould youi feel disposed to treata gentlemanla
v ho had encroacl-hed upon your rights in this way?'
"'Well, really, sir, since you ask me, I think I
should intife giv fo wo ]    ith, gne to t/e houtse aid
t    (ke'.,?,thfu of l'i...cti!"'
14
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314     THEI AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
This was  irresistible! Even  —'s indignation
wias cooled by suchl inimitable sangfroid, and he at
once adopted the suggestion of the young sportsman.
3IAN witty guest inot onlvy secured the iefreslhinent
he  needed, blt,  eventually, helped  himiself to  a
bonnie botche of nmore substantial character, by his
marriag,e with one of the blooming daughters of
amy neighlbor, to whom hlie was introduced on that
memorable occasion!"
A young American of my acquaintance, met, not
long since, in the salons of a distinguished Parisienne, one of the most learnedly scientific of the
French authors of our times.
"I am as much surprised as I am delighted, to
meet you here to-night, Mlr.," said nay friend,
'I supposed you too much occupied in profoiund
research and study, to find time. for such enjoyinents."
i I am, indeed, muchl occupied at present," returned the savant; " but I can neither more  agrieeably
ne)r more profitably spend a portion of my time than
in the society of my refined and cultivated friend,
Madame, and  that of the intellectual and
accomplished visitors I always meet at her house."
Speaking, in the body of this letter, of the uselessness of arugting with the hope of convincing others, 
4
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
reminded me, by association, of a little incident
illustrative of my  opinion, of which I was once a
witness, during a summer sojourn at Avon Springs
-a little quiet watering-place in the Empire State,
as you may know.
There was a pleasant company of us, and our
intercourse was agreeable and  friendly —all, apparently, disposed to contribute to the general stock of
namusement, and to make the most of our somelwhat
limited resources in the way of general entertainmient.  There wvere pretty daughters and managing
mammas, heiresses, and ladies without fortune, who
were  quite as attractive as those whose fetters were
of gold, the usual complement of brainless youthls,
antiquated bachelors and millionaire widowers (so
reputed), with a sprinkling of nondescripts and old
soldiers, like myself.
It was our custom to muster, in great force, every
morning, and go in a mammoth omnibus from  our
hotel  to the  "Spring" to bathe and drink  the
delectable  sulphur-water,  there  abounding.    Oil
these occasions, every one was good-humored, ubliging, and cheerfully inclined to make sacrifices for
the comfort and convenience of others.  The ladies,
especially, were thie objects of particular care and
courtesy, being  alwvays  politely assisted up and
down the high, awkward  steps of our lumbering
conveyance, with their bathing parcels, etc.
-"All went merry as a marriage bell,"
until one unlucky day when sonime  theological point
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316     TIIE AMERICAN GENTLEFMAN'S GUIDE
a
became matter of discussion between two men of
opposite opinions, just as we were commencing our
return-ride  firom  the Spring.   Others were soon
drawn, first into listening, and then into a participation in the conversation, until almost every man
in the company had betrayed a predilection for the
distinctive tenets of some particular religious sect.
Thus, Baptists, Presbyterians, MIetliodists, Congregationalists, Episcopalians, Unitarians, and RPomanists
stood revealed, each the ardent champion of his
own peculiar views.  The ladies had the good sense
to remain silent, with the exception of an 1Equal
Rights " woman, whose wordy interposition clearly
proved that
" Fools rush in whuere ayiels fear to tread!"
Well! of course, no one was  convinced, by this
sudden outbreak of varied eloquence, of the fallacy
of opinions lie had previoutsly entertained, and of
the superior wisdom of those of any one of his
companions.   Indeed, so eager was each in the
maintenance of his own ground, as scarcely to hleed
the arguments of his opponents, except as furnishimg a fresh impulse for advancing his own with
increasing pertinacity.
Presently, flushled cheeks, angry glances, and
louder tones gave token that the meek spirit of the
long-sutffering Prince of Peace was not dominant in
the breasts of these, the professed advocates of his
doctrines. Rude language, too, gradually took the
place of the professed courtesy withl which the discus 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
sion had begun, and the ladies looked uneasily frliom
the windowvs, as if to satisfy themselves that escape
fiom such disagreeable association was near at hand.
Happily for them, our Jehnl, though unmindful of
any particular occasion for haste, at length drew up
)before Comstock's portico.   But, in place of the
usual patient waiting of each for his turn to alight,
and the usual number of extended hars that were
wont to aid the ladies in their descent, every one of
the angry combatants crowded hastily out of the
vehicle, almost before it had fairly stopped, wholly
disregardful alike of the toes of his neighbors and
the claims before universally accorded to the gentler
portion of our company, and hurried up the steps,
apparently forgetful of everything except the uncomfortable chafings of wounded self-love!  Each
mian, evidently, regarded himself as the most abused
of mortals, and the rest as a parcel of obstinate fools,
for whom it were a great waste of ammunition to
assume the martyr's fate!  And I am by no means
suTe, that the cheerful amicability that had before
prevailed among us was ever fully restored after
this unhappy outbreak of religiots feeling!
The gayest of capitals experienced a sensation!
The wittiest of circles, where all was wit, were, for
once, content to listen only! The brave, the great,
tle learned, and the fair, contended for tile smiles
and the society of the Ailarquis de Plusesprit, the
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318     THE AMERICAN GENTLELMAI'S (GUIDE
handsomest, the most accomplished, and the wittiest
manl in Paris!
Onie day, while this socialfuteiore was at its hleight,
a celebrated physician received a professional visit
from an unknown, whose pale cheeks and sunken
eyes bore testimony to the suffering to vwhich lihe
described himself as being a prey.   The mali of
science prepared a prescription, but assured his
patient that what would most speedily effect his
restialti,)n  was  change  of scene  and  agreeable
society.
" Seek in congenial companionship relief from
the mental anxiety by which you are evidently
oppressed," said the modern Esculapius-" fly from
study and self-contemplation;-above all, court the
society of thte iJfctrqi8, de Plusesprit!"
"Alas! dloctor," returued the stranger, "I am
Pl7uses-rit'!"
Speaking of Repartee, reminds me of a pretty scene
ot which I was a witness, not long since, while ruralizing, for a week with an old friend and his charming
daughters, at their beautiful and hospitable home,
on the banks of the inudson.  By the way, I have
before introduced you to their acquaintance-the
pleasant family of ietter-writin7 memory!  An elderl'y foreign gentleman, of large information
and agreeable manners, but not one of fortuie's
favorites, had been dining with us, by special invitation, and the lovely daughters of my host had vied 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
with each other in doing honor to one in whom sensitiveness may have been rendered a little morbid
by the effect of the tyrant Circumstance. Every
hour succeeding his arrival had served more effectually to melt away a certain constraint of manner,
by which he seemed at first oppressed, and his expressive face grew bland and genial under the sunny
influences of courteous respect and appreciation, until
when he rose to go away at sunset, he seemed almost
metamorphosed out of the man of the morning.
The sisters, three, accompanied their agreeable
visitor to the vine-draped veranda, where I was
already seated, attracted by the beauty of the evening, and of my local surroundings. I had been particularly admiring a fine large orange-tree, at the
entrance of the porch, which was laden with flowers
anrd fruit, and, with glittering pearls friom a shower
just bestowed upon it by the gardener.
"Will you not come again, before Colonel Lunettes lea ves, us, Mr.?" asked my sweet young
fiiend Fanny, in her most cordial tones, linking her
arm in thst of one sister, and clasping the waist of the
other, as she spoke, "we will invoke the Loves and
Graces t.- attend y7ou"
"The Graces!" exclaimed the guest, quickly,extending his hands towards the group, and bowing
profoundly-" then you will come yourselves!-the
Gr1ace8 are baore me!"  And then he added, with a
courtly air-" Really, Miss Fanny, you too highly
honor a rusty old man "  " Aln old man," interrupted Fanny, with the utmost
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320     TIIE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
vivacity, dissolving the "linked sweetness " that had
intwvined her with her sisters, and extending her
beautiful arm towards the superb orange-tree before
her, "an old man!-here is a fitting  emblem of
our friend Mtr.; all the attractiveness of youth
still miingled with the matured fruit of experience!"
Chlarmning Fanny! God bless her!-she is one of
those earth-angels whose manifold gifts seem used
only to give happiness to others!
I called one evening, not long since, to pay my
respects to the daughter of a recently-deceased and
much-valued friend.  She had been persuaded into
a journey to a distant city, in search of the health and
spirits that had been exceedingly impaired by watching beside the deathbed of her departed mother.
Her appearance could scarcely fail, as it seemed lo
me, to interest the most, insensible stranger to iher
history;-for myself, I was inexpressibly touched by
the language of the colorless face and languid eyes
to which a simple black robe lent additional meaning.
Just as I began to indulge a hope that the faint
smile my endeavors at cheerful conversation had
caused to flicker about her lips-as a rose-tint ilu.
mines for a moment the white summit of an Alpino
height-there entered the drawing-roomn of our hostess a bevy of noisy women, young and old, who
gathered about the sofa, where my friend and 1 were 
TO POLITENESS  AND FASHION.
seated near our hostess, and rattled away like so
many pieces of small (very small!) artillery.
I saw plainly that the mere noise was almost too
much for the nerves of the silent occupant of the sofa
corner; but vlwhat was my surprise at hearing them
go into the most minute particulars respecting the
recent death of a gentleman of our acquaintance!
Ilis dying words, his very death-struggles were carefully reported, and the grief of the survivors gra.
phically described!
Unfortunately, having relinqiuished my seat beside the mourner to one of these women, I was
powerless in my intense wish to attract her attention
from the subject of their discourse; but my eyes
were riveted upon her, with the keenest sympathy
for the torture she must be undergoing.  1Her pale
face had gradually grown white as a moonbeam,
until, at length, as though strengthened by desperation, she sprang froni her seat, and essayed to leave
the room.  One step forward, a half-stifled sob, and
the slender form lay extended on the floor in hapless
insensibility.
"' While ilr. Smith is tuning his guitar, let us beg
iAIrs. Williams to redeem her promise of reciting
Campbell's' Last Mtan' for us," said a graceful hostess, mindful of the truth that some of her guests
preferred eloquence and poetry to sweet sounds, and
desirous, too, of drawing out the accomplishment o)f
all her guests.
14:*
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322      TlTe'  AMEEICAN GENTLIEMAN'S GUIDE
MIrs. Williams, gifted with
"The vision and the faculty divine,"
glanced a little uneasily at the ever-twanging guitar
as she politely assented to the requests that eagerly
seconded that of her hostess.  Mlr. Smith still continued to hum broken snatches of an air, twisting the
screws of his instrument with complete self-engrossment, the while.
"I will not interrupt MIr. Smith," said the lady,
in more expressive tones than were ever elicited from
catgut by the efforts of that gentleman, moving with
a step graceful as that of a gazelle to the other end
of the room.
Our little circle gathered about her, and enjoyed,
in an exquisite degree,
"The feast of reason, and the flow of soul,"
that so far surpasses the merely sensuous pleasure
afforded by music, when not associated with exalted
sentiment.
As the company broke into little groups, after
thanking Mrs. Williams for the high gratification for
which we were her debtors, I overheard Mr. Smith
say, with a discontented air, to a youth with a
'" lovely moustacfte," who had "accompanied" him in
his previous musical endeavors,  "I'll never bring
my instrument Here again!"
At this critical moment, our hostess approached
with a water-ice, as a propitiatory offering, and
expressed the hope that the guitar was now renewed 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
for action.  The nmusician, with offended dignity,
only condescended to reply, as he deposited his idol
in a corner  "Thank  you, ma'am; I supposed your  friends
were fond of music!"
Discussing the mooted subject of beards one morning lately, with some sprightly young ladies of my
acquaintance, the following specimen of quickness
of repartee was elicited. I record it for your amusement.
"Among the ancients, I believe," said a fair girl,
"a long, snowy beard was considered an emblemn
of the wisdom of the possessor."
" And how is it in modern times?" inquired another
lady, "does wisdom keep pace, in exact proportion
with length of beard?"
"No, indeed," exclaimed the first speaker, laughingly, "for,
"If beards long and bushy true wisdom denote,
Then Plato must bow to a hairy he-goat!"
What would an educated foreigner-kossuth, for
instance, who learned English by the study of Shakspearen-make of the following specimens of colloquial American language?
"Do tell, Jul," exclaimed a young lady, "' where
have you been marvelling to? You look like Time
an the primer!"
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321'Ti,I] AMLRICAN G        ENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
" No you don't," returned thle young lady address
ed, " you can't come it over dis chil'!"
" No, no," chimed in a youth of the party, " yoll
can't come it quite, Aiiss Libl)! Don't try to poke
fun at us!'
"You've all been spa),$inyg in thle woods, I
guess!"
"Oh, lio," laughed one of the speakers, "I thought
you'd get it through your hair, at last-that's rich!"
Why,!" retorted the interlocutor,  tartly, " do
yeou thlink I don't know tothlier from which?".
"I thlink  you'knowv  beans' as well  as most
Hoosiers," replied her particular admirer, in a tone
of unmistakable blandishment.
" Everybody knows Jul's so2ize  pumi]kIc;s," admitted one of her fair companions.
"Come, Jul, rig yourself in a jiffy," said a bonny
lassie, who  had not yet spoken, "you are in for a
spree!"
" WhVat's in the wind-wlwho's to stand thle shot?'>
cautiously inquired the damsel addressed.
"We're bound on a spree, I tell you!  You mutst
be g/een to think w-e'll own the corn now!  Comne,
fix ulp, immediately, if not sooner!" so saying, the
ener],getic speaker seized her fiiend round the waist
and gallopaded her out of the room.
Presently some one said, " Well, Jul and  Lotty
have made themselves scarce!-I            by George,
it makes a fellow open his potato-trap to hang around
wnaitin' so," and an expansive  yawn attested  thl
sincerity of thl is declaration. 
TO POLITENESS ANL FASIIION.
"I could scare up my traps a heap sight quicker,
I reckon, and tote'enm too, from here to the river,
nigger fashicon," rejoined a Southerner, of the group.
"Some chicken fixins and pie doins wouldn't be
so bad-iwould they, though?" whispered a tall,
Western man to his next neighbor.
"And a little suthin to wet your whistle, too,"
added another, overhearing the remuark-" you're a
trump, anyhow 1"
"Then you  do  kilt  c( sialae, sometimes, Mr.
Smith," inquired one of his auditors, smiling signifi
cantly.
"Does your anxious mother know you're out?"'
retorted MIr. Smith, twirling his fingers on his nose
"Don't be wrathy, Smith-what's your tipple,
old fellow?" put in one of the young men, soothingly stroking the broad shoulders of that interesting
youth.
" You're E Pluribus-you're a brick," returned
Mr. Smith, softening, "but where in thunder are
those female women? They'ave sloped and given us
the mitten, I spose "
You ain't posted up, lmy boy, if you think they'd
given us the slip," answered his friend.
" By jingo! it takes the patienlce of all th~ world
and the rest of mankind to dance attendance upon
them-they ain't as peart as our 7als o' wind!"
cried Mr. Smith, in an ecstasy of impatience.
"IHow's your ma, Mr.  John Smith " inquired
the merry voice of "Jul," who had entered unper.
ceived, "you'd better dry up!"
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326     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
"iHere we are, let's be off," shouted a young gen.
tieman.
"All aboard," echoed another.
"'Now we'll go it with a rush!" burst from a
thl-id, and, suiting the action to the word, my
d<amatis persone vanished like the wind.
Having the happiness to pass a morning at the
;otevre with my early and lamented friend, Washington Allston, he said to me, as arm in arm we
sauntered slowly through one of the Galleries"Come and study one of my particular favorites
with me-one might as well attempt to taste all the
nondescript dishes at a Chinese state-dinner as to
enjoy every picture in a collection, at a single visit.
I do not even glance at more than one or two, unless
I know that I shall have months before me for
renewing my inspection-better take away one distinct recollection, to add to one's private collection,
than half a dozen confused, imperfect copies!"
I think it was a.tu,illo before which the artist
paused while speaking; the celebrated work representing a monk, who had been interrupted by death
while writing his own biography, as being permitted
to return to earth to complete his self-imposed task
I am not sure but this picture, however, was addec
some years later to the treasures of the Louvre, by
Napoleon-for we were both young  men thenlhowever, it matters not.  I was quite as much occi. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHIION.
pied in observing the I-ivin;  picture before me, as
that of the great master.  And, though mnemory has
proved somewhat treacherous, I still vividly recollect the spiritualized face of this true chil(i of genius,
as he contemplated the magnificent impersonation.
Ilis brow grew radiant, and his eve! ah, who shall
portray that soul-lit eye, or justly record the poetic
language that fell, almost unconsciously, from  his
hlalf-inspired  lips!   Sacredly are  they cherished
among the hoarded memories of youthful firiendship?
It was only my purpose to recall for your benefit
the opinion and practice of one so fully competent
to advise inf relation to our subject.
AVliat Disraeli has somewhere said  of eating,
may, with equal nicety of epicureanism, be appliecd
to tlthe enjoyment of Ideal Art, and of that of
which it is the type-natural beauty:-" To eat,
really to eat," asserts the discriminatingly sensuous
Jew, " one should eat alone, in an easy dress, by a
soft light, and of a single dish at a time!"  For myself-but there's no accounting for tastes!-I should
desire on all such occasions,
"Onle fair spirit for my minister,"
or rather, for my sympathizing companion I
As an illustration of the advantage to a man in
public life) of ready e7ocution and ready wqit, let me
sketch for you a little scene of which I was  the
327 
TI ru  AAIERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
ainused and interested witness, one  morning last
winter, while on a visit at Washington.
A  C?z)Mcti, was to be elected for the Jiouse of
Represen tatives.  General Granger, of New York,
proposed a Soldier of thle Pevolution as well as of the
Cross-tcthe Rev. AiR. Waldo-adding a few iinpressive facts il relation to his venerable and interesting
friend-as that he wvas then in his ninety-fourtli
year, had borne arms for his country in his youth,
etc.
Upon  this, some member, upon the ol)position
benc/tes, as the English say, called out:
"What aire his claims? where did hlie serve?"
"The gentleman will permit me to refer him to
the Pension Office," returned General Granger, with
the most smiling urbanity; " he will there find the
more satisfactory answer to his queries."
" What are AIr. Waldo's politics?"
"Though a most amiable gentleman and devout
Christian, he belongs,  sir, to-the  Church  AJiitant!"
" Is he a Flibubuster?"
"'Even so, sir!  Mr. Waldo filibustered for the
Old, _hirteen,  against George  the  Third,  in  the
American RPevolution!"
I am, my dear boys, as ever,
Your affectionate,
"UNCLE HAL." 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
LETTER X.
IIABIT.
MY DEAR FRIENDS:
IF you wish to have power to say, in the
words of the imperial slave of the beautiful Egyptian,
" Let me,
With those hands that grasp'd the heaviest club,
Subdue my worthiest self,"
you must not wholly overlook the importance ol
lYabit, whlile establishing your system of life.
Always indicative of character, habit may yet, to
a certain extent, do us the greatest injustice, through
mere inadvertency.   Indeed,  few young  persons
attach much importance to such matters, until conpelled by necessity to unlearn, with a painful efforts
what has been insensibly acquired.
Permit me, then, a few random suggestions, intended rather to awaken your attention to this branch of
a polite education, than to furnish elaborate directions
in relation to it.
Judging from the prevalent tone of social intercourse among our countrymen, both at home and
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330     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAIANS GUIDE
abroad, one might naturally make the inference, that
most of them regard Pudeness and Piepublictnism as
synonymous terms. Depend upon it, that as a people,
we are retrograding on this point.  Our upper class
-or what would fain be deemed such —in society,
may more successfuilly imitate the fashionable follies
and conventioial peculiarities of the Old World, than
their )predecessors upon the stage of action did; but
fashion is not good breeding, any more than alrogant assumption, or a defiant independence of the
amenities of life, is true manliness.  Preaking away
from the ceremonious old school of habit and manner, we are rapidly running into the opposite extreme, and the masses who, with little time or inclination for personal reflection, on such subjects, naturally take their clue, to some extent, firom the assumed
exponents of the laws of the fickle goddess, exaggerating, the value of the defective models they seek to
imitate, into the grossest caricature of the whole, and,
mistaking rudeness for ease, and impudence for independence, so defy all abstract propriety, as, if not to
'make the angels weep," at least to mortify and disgust all observant, thinking men, whose love and
pride of country sees in trifles even, indications
more or less auspicious to national advancement.
All this defiance of social restraint, this professed
contempt for the suavities and graces that should
redeem existence fromn the complete engrossment of
actualities, is bad enough at home; but its exhibition:
abrl)(ad is doubly humiliating to our national dignity.
ELvery American who visits forleign countries, whether 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
as the accredited official representative of his goveminent, or simply in the character of a private
citizen, owes a duty to his native land, as one of
those bv the observance of whom strangers are forming aln estitnate of the social and political advancement of the people who are making the great exlperinient )f the world, and uponI wloin the eyes of all
are fixed withl  a peculiar and scrutilizing interest.
It has been well said of us, in this regard, that
"our woist s7laery is the slavery  to  ourselves."
Trammelled by the narrowest social prejudices at
home, Americans, breaking loose from these restraints
abroad, run riot, like ill-mannered school-boys, suddenly released from the discipline which, froom its
very  severity, prompts them to indulge in the extreme of license. Thus, we lately had accounts of
the humiliating conduct of some Americans, who,
being  guests  one  night  at the Tuileries,  actually so far forgot all decency as to intrude their
drunken impertinence upon the personal observation
of the Emperor!   And, when informed, the next
morning, that, at the instance of their insulted host,
the police had followed them, when they left the
palace, to ascertain whether they were not suspicious
characters who had surreptitiously obtained admittance to the imperial fete, they are reported to have
pronounced  the  intelligence  "r ich!"  Shame on
such exhibitions!-they disgrace us, nationally.
If our countrymen would be content to learn from
older peoples on these points, it would be well. In
t.le Elegant and Ideal Arts, in LiteratuLre, in general
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332      TIlE AMIERICAN GENTLEIMAN'S GUIDE
Science, the superiority of our predecessors in the his
tory of Progress, is cheerfully admitted. Can we,
then, learn nothing from the matured civilization of
the  Old World in regard to the Art of  Living? Shall
wve   defy the race to which we belong, on this point
alone? This secret is possessed in greatest perfection
bv        those -lwho have longest studied its details, and
some long existent nations who display little practi   cal        wisdom in matters of political science, are grey   beard sages here. So then, let us learn from them
what they can easily save us the trouble of acquiring
by          difficult experinments for ourselves, and, concen   trating  our energies upon higher objects, give them
back a full equivalent for their knowledge of the best
mode  of serving the Lares, the J[utse8, and the Gra   ces, by a successful illustration of the truth, that as a
)eol)7e we are cupable of se7y-govefnlnent!  WVe shlall,
then, no longer have the wife of an American minis   ter ignorantly invading the Court Rules at Madrid,
bI)y spoiting, the coors8 sacred to royal attire there,
and so giving occasion for national offense, as well
as individual conflict, nor furnishl Punchl with mIate*  rial for the admonitory reflection that the bond of
family union between John Eull and his cousin Joiin   athalii must be somewhat uncertain " when so smnall a
inmatter as tle tie of a cravat can materia~ly aqcct t/te
price  of 8tock8!"  And, when  vulgar blustei  and
bra,ggadocio are no longer mistaken for the proper
assertion of national and individual independence,
we shall not have an American gentleman who, like
our justly-distinguished  countryman, George Pea 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
body, constantly exhibits the most urbane courtesy,
alike towards foreigners and towards the citizens of
the native country to which his life has been one
prolonged paean, accused of toadying', because  he
quietly conforms to the social usages of the people
amiong whom he lives!
But pardon me these generalities.  I have been
utnintenAtionally led into them, I believe, by my keen
sense of mortification at some of the incidents to
which I have alluded.
Coming then to details, let us, primarily, resolve
to be slaves to nothing and to no one-neither to
others nor to ourselves; and to endeavor to establish
such habits as shall entitle each of us, in the estimnationI of discriminating observers, to the distinctive
aine of  eentemacn.
(Cousta(nt associalio?, with wel[-brecz agid well-eqltcated societ, cainot be too highly estimated as an
assistant in the acquisition of the attributes of which
we propose to speak.  A taste for such companionship may be so strengthed by habit as to form a
strong barrier to the desired indulgence of grosser
inclinations.' Show me your friends, and I'll tell
you what  youL are," is a pithy Spanish proverb.
Choose yours, I earnestly entreat, in early life, with
a view to self-improvement and self-respect.   And,
while on this point, permit me to warn you against
mistaking pretension, wealth, or position, for intrinsic
merit; or the advantages of equality in elevated
social rank, for an equivalent to mental cultivation,
or moral dignity.
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334     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
0One of the collateral benefits resulting from pro.
per social associations, will be an escape from eccentricites of mnanner, dress, language, etc.; erroneous
habits in relation to which, lwhen once established,
often cling to a man through all the changes of time
and circumstance.
But, as observation proves that this, though a
safeguard, is by no means always a sufficient defense, it is well to resort to various precautions,
additionally-as a prudent general not only carefully
inspects the ramparts that guard his fortress, but
stations sentinels, who shall be on the look-out for
approaching foes.
So then, my dear boys, do not regard me as descending to puerilities unworthly of myself and you,
when I call your attention to such matters as your
attitude in standing and sitting, or any other little
individualizing peculiarities.
Some men fall into a habit of walking and standing with their heads run out before them, as if doubtful of their right to keep themselves on a line with
their fellow-creatures.  Others, again, either elevate
the slhoulders unnaturally, or draw them forward so
as to impede the full, healthful play of the lungs.
This last is too much the peculiar habit of students,
and  contracted by stooping over their books, undoubtedly. Then again, you see persons swinging
their arms, and see-sawing their bodies from side to
side, so as to monopolize a good deal more than their
rightful share of a crowded thoroughfare, steamer
cabin, or drawing-room floor.  Nothing is more un 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
comfortable than walking arm in arm with such a
m al. He  pokles h      is elbows into your ribs, pushes
you against passers-by, shakes you like a reed in the
,win d,          and, perhaps, knocks your hat into the gutter
w i th his um brella- a-and  all with the most good-humored  uncon sci      ousness of his ainnoying peculiarity.
I      f yon are   so unfortunate as to be shut up in a carriage with him, his restless propensity relieves itself
to the           great disturbance of the reserved rights of
ladies, and the frequent impalemenit upon his protrtd ing           elbows of firagments of fringe, lace, and
sm al        l c'childre n! At     table, if it be possible,  his
nei,l    ghbors  gently a nd gradually withdraw front his
immediate vic        i      nitty, l eaving a clecaing to his undispuited possession. lIe usually may be observed to
stoop forward, while eating, with his plate a good
foot firom the customary locality of that conveniences
pushed before him towards the middle of the table,
and his armis so adjusted that his elbows play onu
and in, like the sweep of a pair of oars.
A little seasonable attention to these things will
effectually prevent a man of sense friom falling into
such peculiarities.  Early acquire the habit of standing and w-alking with your chest thrown out-yolur
head erect-your abdomen receding rather than protradiing-not leaning back any more than forwardwitl your arms 8cieunt(caJl/y adjusted-your hat on
the top (Inot on the back, oi on one side) of your
head —with a self-poised and firm, but elastic tread;
not a tramp, like a war-horse; not a stride, like a
fugitive bandit; not a miincing step, like a cenujire
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o336    THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAIN'S GUIDE
tieading on e,ggs; but, with a compact, manly, homo.
geneous sort of bearing and m oveiment.
Where there has been any discipline at feast, if
not always, inklings of character may be drawn
firom these tokens in the outer man.  For instancethe lilght, quick, cat-like step of Aaron Bnrri, was as
iiich a part of the man as the Pandemoniumn gleam
that lurked in the depths of his dark, shadowed eyes:
I remnember the one characteristic as distinctly as
the other, lwheni  I recall his small person and pecilliar face.  So with the fiee, firm pace by which the
Inoble port of De Witt Clinton was accompanied —
one recognized, at a glanice, thle  ighl intellect, the
lofty malnhood, embodied there.
Creossing the legs, elevating the feet, lounging on
one side, lolling, back' etc.. thoughl quite excusable
iii the albanc(7on of bachelor seclusion, should never
be indulged in ywhere ceremony is properly required.
In the company of ladies, particularly, too much
care cannot be exhibited in one's attitudes. It is then
suitable to sit upright, with the feet on the floor, and
thel hands quietly adjusted before one, eithlei holding
the hat and stick (as when paying a mornilng visit),
or the dress-hat carried in the evening, or, to give
ease, on occasion, a book, roll of paper, or the like.
I-abits of refinement once establislhed, a man feels at
ease-he can trust hinmlself, witlhout watching, to be
,ncittr((r7-and nothlig- condutces imore to grace and
elegance tl-han this quiet consciousness.  Let mie adds
that true comfort, real enjoyment,are no better secured
i'.~dor any circumstances, by indulging in'anything 
TO POLITENLSS AND FASIION.
that is int/ndccd, ly  mejd, and that a certain
habiul se7-Iestraiu  is the best guarantee of ease,
propriety and elegance, wlden a man would fain do
entire justice to himself.
Itabits connected witlh maLtters of the tal)le, as indeed with all sensuous enjoymenits, should always be
such as not to suggest to others ideas of merely selfish aniiinal gratification. Among minior characteristies, fewv are so indicative of genuine good-breeding
as a man's iiode of eati2zy.  Upon Poor Richard's
principle, that "nothingt is worth doing at all that is
not worth doing well," oe many very properly attach
somie consequeonce to the formationI of correct habits
ill relationi to occasions of sulch very frequent recurrence.  It;s wvell, therefore, to learn to sit iprightly
at table, to keep one's individual "aids and appliances" comlpactly arranged; to avoid all noise and
hurry in tlhe use of these conveniences; neither to
mince,,(r fiuss withl olne's food; nor yet to swallow
it as a boa-constrictor does hiis,-rolled over in the
mouth and bolted vwitole; or worse still, to open the
mouth, to such an extent as to remind observers that
alligators are hactf ino?ttl.  Eating with a knife, or
with the fingers; soiling the lips; using the fork or
the fingers as a tooth-pick; making  auudible the
process of mastication, or of diinking; talkig soup
fiom the _point of a spoon; lolling forward upon.the
table, or with the elbows upon thle table; soiling the
cloth with what should be kept  upon  the plate;
putting one's private uLtensils into dishles of whlich
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338     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
others partake; in short, everything that is odd, or
coarse, should nowhere be indulged in.
Cut your mneat, or whatever requires the use of the
knife, and, leaving that dangerous instrument conveniently on one side of your plate, eat with your foirk,
ulsing a bit of bread to aid, when necessary, in taking
up your food neatly.
When paitaking of anything too nearlvy approach
ing a liquid to be eaten with a fork, as stewed tomnato, or cranberry, sop it with small pieces of bread;
-a.poon  is not used while eating meats and their
accompaniments. iNever take up large bones in the
fingers, nor bite Indian corn from a mammoth ear.
(In the latter case, a long cob running out of a man's
mouth on either side, is suggestive of' the mode in
which thle snouts of dressed swine are adorned for
market!)  If you prefer not to cut the grain fi'om
the ear, break it into small pieces and cut the rows
lengthwise, before commencing to eat this vegatable.
Wvhen you wish to send youLr plate for anything,
retain your knife and fork, and either keep them
together in your hand, or rest them upon your
bread, so as not to soil the cloth.
Should you have occasion for a tooth-pick, hold
your napkin, or your hand, before your mouth while
applying it, and on no account resort to the _pereeptible assistance of the tongue in freeing the mnouth
or teeth from food.
Have sufficient self-control, when so unfortunrto 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
as to be disgusted with anything in your food, to
refrain from every outward mianifestation of annoyance, and if' possible, to conceal from others all
participation in your discovery.
Accustomn yourself to addressing servants whie at
table, in a lovw, but intelligible tone, and to a goodnatured endurance of their blunders.
Avoid the appearance of self-engrossment, or of
abstraction while eating, and, for the sake of healthi
of mind and body, acquire the practice of a cleerftul
interchange of both civilities and ideas wvith those
who may be, even temporarily, your associates.
It is now  becomingai     usual amiong fashioenable
people in this country to adopt the French inode of
conductingr ceremonious dinners, that of placing such
portions of the dessert as will admit of it, upon the
table, together with plateaux of flowvers, anJ other
ornaments, and having the previous courses served
and carved upon  side-tables, and offered to each
rguest by the attendants.  But it will be long before
this custom obtains generally, as a daily usage, even
among the wealthier classes.  It will, so falr, continue
rather an exception than a rule, that the art of
e(1rvi1zy should be regarded as well worth acquiring,
bothl as a matter of personal convenience, and as
affordinig the means of obliging others.  Like every
other habit connected with matters of the table,
exquisite necatness and discrimination should clihaiacterize the display of this gentlemanly accomplishment.  Aim at dexterous and rapid manipulation,
and shlnn the semblance of huriIry, labor, or fatigl e
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340     THE AM:ERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
Familiarity with the anatomy of poultry and game,
will greatly facilitate ease and grace in carving.
Always help ladies with a remembrance of the
moderation and fastidiousness of their appetites.  If
possible, give them the choice of selection in the
cuts of meats, especially of birds and poultry.
Never pour gravy upon a plate, without permnission.  A little of the filling, of fowls may be put
with portions of them, because that is easily laid
aside, without spoiling the meat, as gravy does, for
many persons.
All meats served in mass, should be carved in
t-in2 sl8ices, and each laid upon one side of the plate,
carefully avoiding soiling the edge, or offending the
delicacy of ladies, in particular, by too-ensanguined
es.
Different kinds of food should never be mixed on
the plate. Keep each portion of the accompanimenets of your meats neatly separated, and, where
you p5ay fov decency and  coi?fort, take it as a
matter of course that your plate, knife, and fork are
to be changed as often as you partake of a different
dish.
Fish is eaten with bread and condiments only;
and the various kinds of meat with vegetables
appropriate to each.  Gac,e, when properly cooked
and served, requires only a bit of bread with it.
By those who best understand the art of eating,
btter- is never taken with meats or vegetables.  The
latter, in their simple state, as potatoes, should be
eaten with salt; most of them need no condiment, ia 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHiION.
addition to those with which they are dressed before
coming to table. Salads, of course, are prepared
according to individual taste; but the well-instructed
take butter at dinner only after, or as a substitute for,
the course of pastry, etc., with bread, if at all.  The
Engslish make a regular course of bread, cheese, and
butter, preceding  the dessert proper-nuts,  fruit,
etc.; but they never eat both butter and cheese at
the same time.
Skins of baked potatoes, rinds of fruit, etc., etc.,
should never be put upon the cloth; but bread, both
at dinner and breakfast, is placed on the table, at the
left side of the plate, except it be the small bit used
to facilitate the use of the fork.
XNever drum upon the table between the courses,
fidget in your chair, or with your dress, or in any
manner indicate impatience of due order and deliberation, or indifference to the conversation of those
about you.   A yenttlemnctn will take time to dine
decorously and comfortably. Those whose subserviency to a(nything, or any one, prevents this, are
not freenen!
Ilolding,, as I do, that
" To enjoy is to obey,"
let me call your attention, in this connection, to tlhe
truth that the pleasures of the table consist not so
much in the quantity eaten as in the mode o,qf eatiqy.
A moderate amount of simple food, thoroughly and
deliberately masticated, and partaken of with the
agreeable accessories of quiet, neatness and social
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342     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMIANiS GUIDE
communion, will not only be  more beneficial to
the physical man, but afford more positive enjoyment, than a larger number of dishles, when'hur
riedly eaten in greater quantities.
I have firequently remarked among, our young
countrymen a peculiarity which a momenit's reflection will convince you is exceedingly injurious to
health-that of swallowing an enormous amount of
fluid  at  every meal.   Reflect  that  the  human
stomach is scarcely so large as one of the goblets
which is repeatedly emptied at dinner, by most
men, and that all liquids taken into that muchabused organ, must be absorbed before the assimilation of solid food commences, and you will see, at
once, what a violation of the natural laws this
practice involves.  Here, again, is one of the evil
effects of the fast-eating of fast Americans. Hlturrying almost to feverishness, at table, and only half
masticating their food, the assistance of ice-water is
invoked to facilitate the process of swallowing, and
to allay the iuore distressing symnptoms produced by
haste and fatigue!
Before we leave these little matters, let us return'
for an instant, to that of the 0pootion, assumed while
8sitiny.  Thle "Ycaik,ee" peculiarity, so often ridiculed by foreigners, of tipping the chair back upon
the two hind feet, is not yet obsolete, even in our
"best  society."   Occasionally some  uninstructed
rustic finds his way into a fashionable drawing-roonm,
where " modern antique furniture," as the manufactiuers call it in their advertisements, elicits all the 
TO POLITrENESS AND FASHION.
proverbial ingenuity of his native land, to enable
him to indulge in his favorite attitude.  " I thought
I saw the ghost of my chair?" said a fair friend to
me, as soon as a visitor had left us togethler, one
mnornini, not long since.  " I was really distressed
by his efforts to tilt it back-these fashionable chairs
are so frail, and he would  have  been  intensely
mortified had le broken it!  hlave you seen the
last' liarper,' Colonel?"
Do not permit yourself, through an indifference to
trifles, to fall into any unrefined habits in the use of
the handkerchief, etc., etc. Boring the ears with
the fingers, chafing the limbs, sneezing with unnecessary sonorousness, and even a too fond and ceaseless caressing of the moustache, are in bad taste.
Everything  connected  with  personal  discomfort,
with the mere physique, should be as unobtrusively
attended to as possible.
Wllen associated with women of cultivation and
refinement-and you should addict yourself to no
other female society-you cannot attend too carefully to the niceties of personal habit.  Sensitive,
fastidious, and very observant of initutice-indeed
often judging of character by details-you  will
inevitably lose ground  with  these discriminating
observers, if neglectful of the trifles that go far
towards constituting the amenities  of social life.
An elegant modern writer is authority for the fact
that the Gauls attributed to woman, "an additional
sense-the divine sense."  Perhaps the Creator may
have bestowed this gift upon the defenseless sex, as
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344      TIIHE AMIERICAN GENT''LEMAN7S GUIDE
a counterpoise to the superior strengthl and power of
man, even as lie has given to the more helpless of
the lower  creatures swiftness of motion, instead of
capacity for resistance.  But be that as it nmay, no
mun shlould permit hinmself any habit that will not
beai the serutiny of this divine sense —mnech less,
one that will outrage all its tine perceptions.
Apropos of cletCl,8-I will take leave to warn
you against the s waffge)irng  (22aner that some young
men, whose b)earing is otlherlwise unexceptionable,
fall into  amiong  strangers, apparently  with  the
mistaken idea that they will thus best sustain their
claimns to an unequivocal position in society.  So in
the sitting-rooims at hotels, in the pumnp-roomns  at
watering-places,  on  the decks  of steamers,  etc.
persons w-hose juvenility entitles them to be classed
withl those -who have nursery authority for being
"seen  and not heard," are freqnently  the most
conspicuous and noisy.  Shallow, indeed, must  be
the discernment of observers who conceive a favorable impression of a young man  fromn  suchi an
exhibition!
In company, do not stand, or walk about while
otlhers sit, nor sit while othlers stand-especially
ladies.  Acquire a light step, particularly for indoor use, and a quiet miode of conducting yourself,
generally.  Ladies and invalids will not then dread
your presence as dangerous-like that of a ramipant
war-horse, ill-taughlt to
Caper nimbly inii a lady's chlamber 1" 
TO l'OLITENIESS AND FASHI()N.
If  ou are fond of playing, at chess and other
games, it w-ill be worth your while to observe yourself until you have fixed habits of entire politeness,
under such circumstances.  All unnecessary mIove
ments, everv manifestation of impatience or petulance, and all exultation whenl successful, should be
repressed.  Thus, while seeking amusement, you may
acquire self-control.
]eg,in early to remember that healthl and good
spirits are easily impaired, and that h;abit w  -l materially assist us in the patient endurance of suffering
we should manifest for the sake of thlose about us
attecndants, friends, "the bosom-friend dearer than
all," lwhom- no philosophy can teach insensibility to
the semblance of unkindness from one enthroned in
her affections.
Don't fill into the habit, because you are a bran(li
of the Ic[ttcs falimilv, of uLsing glasses prematurely.
St,cdeit.s Iare mulch in error here.   Every young
divinlity-student, especially, seems emulous of this
troublesome appendage.  Depend on it, this is all
wrong, either absurd affectation, or ignorance equally unfortunate.
Ladies, it is said, are the  readers of America, but
who ever sees the dear creatures donning spectacles
in youth?  Enter a female college and lookl for the
glasses that, were the youthful devotees of learning
there assembled of the other sex, would deformr half
the faces you observe.   liuch better were it to inform
yourselves of the laws of optics, and use the organs
now  so generally abused by the young, judiciously,.
15*
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-Ult 
6   THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
resting them, when  giving  indications of being
overtaxed, rather than endeavoring to supply artificial aid to their natural strength. Students, especially, should always read and write with the back to the
light, so seated that the light falls not upon the
eyes, but upon the book  or paper before  them.
That reminds me, too, how important it is that one
should not s8op) forw(cr(d more constantly than is
necessary, while engaged in sedentary pursuits, but
lean hackl rather than forward, as mnuch as possible,
throwing out the chest at the sarme time.  lIany
books admit of being raised in the hand, in aid of
this practice, and the habit of rising occasionally,
and expanding the chest, and straightening the limbs
will be found to relieve the weariness of the sedentary.
But nothing so effectually prevents injury to
health, friom studious habits, as early ri8ign.  This
gives time for the out-door exercise that is so requisite as well as for the use of the eyes by daylhyght.
There is a great deal of nonsense mixed up with our
literature, which seizes the fancy of the young,
because embodied in poetry, or clothed with the
charm of fiction. Of this nature is what we read
about, "trimming the midnight lamp," to search for
the Pireani spring.  Obey the
"' Breezy call of incense-breathing morn,"
and she will environi you with a joyous band of
blooming HIours, and guide you gaily and lightly
4 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
towards sparkling w-aters,whose properties are Knowledge and Health!
But if you would habitually rise early, you must
not permit every trivial temptation to prevent your
also )etipinq early.   The laws of fashionable life are
sorely at variance  with those of Health, on  this
point, as well as upon many others; but, happily,
they are not a solttte, and those who have useful purposes to accomplish each day, must wittstand tihe
tyranny of this arbitrary despot.  Time for the toilet, for exercise, for intellectual- culture, and mental
relaxation, is thus best secured.  By using the earlier
hours of each day for our most imperative occuipations, we are far less at the mercy of contingent circumnstances than we can become by any other system
of life.  "Solitude," says Gibbon, "is the school of
Genius," and the advantages of this tuition are most
certainly secured before the idlers of existence are
abroad!
Avoid the habit of regarding yourself as an invalid, and of taking nostrums. A knowledge and observance of the rules of Dieteties are often better than
the concentered wisdom of a Dispensary, abstinence
nore effective than medical applications, and the
recuperative power of NatuLre, when left to work out
her owvn restoration, friequently superior to the most
skillful aid of learned research.  But when compelled to avail yourself of medical assistance, seek that
which science and integrity render safest. No sensible
man, one would think, will intrust the best boon of
earth to the merciless experiments of unprincipled and
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,,,S      TIHE AMEIRtICAN GENT'LEMAN'S (GUIDE
ignoriant charlatans, or credulously swallow quack
medicines recommended  by old women:  and yet,
-whlile people employ the most accomplishled latter,
tailor, and boot-maker, whlose services  they  can
secure, tleyv will give up the ezner man to tlhe influence of suchl  impositions upon  tlhe credulity of
llumanait!
Assum-ing, as an accepted triuth, that it is your
purpose, thlroughl life, to admit the ri,ghts of our fair
tyrants
"In court or cottage, whleresoo'er their home,"
1 w-ill commend to you the early acquisition of halits
approp riate  to our relations to women as their ])roreco     tor&   In   di ancing, ridin', drivin, walkiig,, boati]]g, l ravelliong, etc., etc.,whlierever  tie sexes are
broug)]lt togethler in this regard (and where are tley
not, indeed, when commingled at all?)-observe the
gentle courtesies, exhibit the watchful care, that go
far towards constituting the settled chlarms of such
intercourse.  It is not to be forgotten, as I thlinkl  I
have before remarked, that women judge of character, often, firom  trifling details; thus, any well-bred
woman will be able to tell you which of her acquaiitanices habitually removes his hlat, or throws aside his
cigar, -when addressing her, and AwTlo, of all others, is
most watchful for her comfort, vwhien sihe is abroad
under his escort.  Be sure, too, that this same fair
cne could confess. if she would make a revelation onl
the subject, exactly what men  she shunis because
they break hler fanis, disarrangie lier bouquets, tear lic; 
TO POLITENESS AND ]'ASHION.
flounces, touch lier paintings and prints with mnoist
fingers  (instead of merely pointing to some part)
handle delicate bIjoute~re with dark gloves, dance
-ithl uncovered hands, etc., etc.  But eveni if yon
are hier cofi'dt-, shle will not tell you how often her
quick sensibility is wounded by fancying lherself the
subject of the s       wiiiks, wtIs)ers, and J,owt;vy  7glaces
in -whlichl some men indulge wlihenii grouped with their
kindred bipeds, in society!
At the risk of subjecting myself to the charge of
repetition, I will endeavor, before concluding this
letter, to elnumerate such Hlabits as, in addition to
those of which I have already spoken, I deem most
entitled to the attention of those vlwho are est.ablishling a system of life.
i]cibits of ret7din.q and  stutdying once thoroLugily
formed, are invalualble, not only as affording a ready
resource against e,nnti, or idleness, everywhere and
under all circumstances, but as necessarily inlvolving
the acqluisition of knowledge, even when of the most
desultory character.  It is wonderful how much general information may be gleaned by this practice of
reading sometNiziy  whenever one has a few spare
grains of the "1yol(-dtu8st  X  TiT)ie,"-minutes.   I
once found a remarkably well-informed woman of
my acquaintance wantiing to make breaklfast for her
husband and me, with a little old dietionary open in
hler hand.  "For  what word  are you looking, so
early?" I inquired, as I discovered the character of
the volume she held.  " For no one in particular,"
returned she, "but one can  always add  to ones
0
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350     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
stores from any book, were it only in the matter of
p)e(i,y "  But the true way, of course, to derive
most adv intage from this enjoyment is to systemnatize
in relation to it, reading well-selected books with
care and attention sufficient to enable us permanently to add the information they  contain  to  our
previous mental possessions.
You w,ill only need to be reminded how much ease
andl elegance in Reacing a7oztd depend upon habit.
WithlDut the Habit of I)dustry, good resolutions,
the mo,tt sincere desire for self-improvement, and the
most desirable natural gifts, will be of comparatively
little avail for the practical purposes of existence.
This unpretending attribute, together withi System,
and,egt7arity, has achieved more for the good of
the race, than all the erratic efforts of genius coinbinedlv.
"Don't run about," says a sensible writer, "and
tell your acquaintances you have been unfortunate;
people do not like to have unfortunate men for
acquaintances.  Add to a vigorous determination, a
cheerful spirit; if reverses come, bear the  like a
philosopher, and get rid of them as soon as you can."
Clteerfulie8ss  and  Conte,tment, like  every  other
nental quality, may be cultivated until they mate.
riallv assist us in enduring
"The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,"
and early attention to the attainment of these mental
}lal)its is a matter of both personal and relative duty.
Cllerishl sey-respect as, next to a firm religiou. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
faith, the best safeguard to respectability and peace
of mind.  Entirely consistent with-indeed,  in a
degree, productive of the most careful consideration
of the rights of others, thie legitimate development of
this quality wvill tend to preserve you firom unwise confideilues, friom injudicious intimacies, and fi'om gi'oss
indulgences  and  unworthy  pursuits.   This  will
sustaiin you in the imanly acknowledlgment of poverty,
if that shall chance to be your lot, when pride and
principle  contend  for  the  mastery  in  practical
matters, and enable you to realize fully, that
"To hear, is to conquer our fate!"
This will strengthen you to the endurance of that
w-hichl nothing but absolute insignificance can escape
-ca-urnny.  It will preserve  you alike from an
undue eagerness in defending yourself from unjust
aspersion, and firom a servile fear of "the world's
dread laughll," firom meriting and  from  resenting
scandal, and convince You that its most effectual
contradiction consists in a virtuous life. By listening to the dictates of this powerful coadjutor of
conscience, you will believe with the poet, that
" Honor and Fame from no condition rise,"
and thus, with straightforward and unvarying pur.
pose, illustrate your adoption of the motto,
"Act well your part, there all the honor lies!"
While I would earnestly counsel you to avoid that
constant se7f-consciousness which  is nearly allied to
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wlr 
P52'rTEH AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
vanity and egotisim, if not identical with them, you
will find the habitual practice of sef-examinationi
greatly conducive to improvement.  A calm, impartial analysis of words and actions, trIacing  each
to their scveral motives, niu1st teid to assist us to
know ov elvs, which an ancient philosopher, you
mlay  remember, pronounced  the  highest  human
attainment.  Arraign yourself, without the advantage of s2)ecial7)7eacdiyng, to borrow a legal phrase, at
the bar of conscience, regarding this arbiter as the
voice of Divinity enshrined within us, whenever
assailed l)y dotubts respecting any course of conduct
you have adopted, or propose to adopt, and where
you are thus taught to draw the line of demarcation
between right and wrong,
"Let that aye be your border."
In this connection permit me to recommend the
regular study of the Bible, and a systematic attendance upon public worship on the Sabbath.  Do  not
read this most wNonderful of books as a task, nor yet
permit the trammels of early associations, hereditary
prejudice, or blind superstition, to interfere with
your search for the truths contained in its pages.
Try to read the Scriptures as you would any other
book, with the aid of such collateral information as
you mnay be able to obtain respecting the origin of
the several, and wholly, distinct productions of which
it is composed, the authors of each, the purposes for
which they were composed, and, in short, possess
yo.rself of every available means of giving reality.
w 
TO POLITENESS AND ] ASHION.
simplicity, and truthfulness to your investigations.
Study the -ife of C/hrst, as written by the Bersonal
friends vwho were  most constantly and intimnately
associated withl him. Ponder upon his familiar
sayingls, remembered and recorded in their simple
memoranda  by the unlettered men who  most frequentlv listened to them, comnpare the acts of Christ
w-ithl his doctrines as a teacher, and judge for yourselves whether history, ancient or modern, has any
parallel for the Perfection of the Jfode7 thus exhibited
to the human race. Decide whether hlie was not
the only earthly being who "cnever did anl injury,
never resented one done to him, never uttered an
untruth, never practised a deception, and never lost
an opportunity of doing good."  HIaving determined
this point in your own minds, adopt this glorious
pattern for imitation, and adhere to it, until you find
a truer and better model. We have nothing to do
in judging of this matter, with the imperfect illustrations afforded by the lives of professed imitators of
Christ, of the perfectibility to which his teachings tend.
Why look to indifferent copies, when the great original is ever before us! Why seek in the frailty and
fallibility of hhman nature a justification of personal
distrust and indifference?
No /entleman-to come to practicalities again —
will indulge in ridiculing what intelligent, enlightened persons receive as truth, on any point, much less
uponl this.  Nor will a well-bred man permit hiimselft
the habit of being late at cht rch-were it only thlat
those who stand in a servile relation to othfets, aie
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354     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMIAN' S GUIDE
often deprived of time for suitable prelimninaries
of the.toilet, etc., he will carefully avoid this vulgarity.
The tendency to gnatepia7tsn, so strongly chlaracterizing the age in which we live, produces, among
its pernicious collateral  effects,  a  disposition  to
reduce " tIeaven's last, best gift to man" to the same
practical standard by which we judge of all matters
of the outer life,-of each o/ther especially.   Well
might  3urlke deplore the departure of the Age of
Chivalry!  But  not even the prophetic eye of
genius could discern the degeneracy that was to
increase so rapidly, from the day in which he wrote,
to this. As a mere matter of personal gratification,
I would cherish the inclination to idealize in regard
to the fairer part of creation! There is enough that is
stern, hard, baldly utilitarian, in life; we have
no need to rob this "one fair spirit" of every poetic
attribute, by system!  Few habits have so much the
effect to elevate us above the clods we tread plodding,ly over in the dreary highway of mortal existence, as that of investing woman witl  the purest,
higlest attributes of our common nature, and bearilg ourselves towards her in accordance with these
elevated sentiments.  And when compelled, in individual instances, to set aside these cherished impressions, let nothling induce us to forget thliatpassive,
8ilentforbeca~ance is our only resource.  True manhood can never become the active antagonist of
I ad   almost as ned to reid  ou of the  groseessness.
I all almost ashlamed to remuind you of the gr'oss
,p - 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHIIION.
imipropriety of spealking loosely and loudly of ladies
o      f       your acquainta nce  in the hearing of strangers, of
desecrating, t              heir names by mouthing them in barroois aand similar public places,  scribbling  themr
up      o n wiinoos,       recording them, withlout  their permissionIl, in thlle re gisters kept at places visited from
cllriositv, etc., etc.   Yott have no m?ora[ eiyht to
taz.ie sc/t 7i;erties in, this re,peet, as  yOt  woulc not
tolec2ate in tlIe 7elaction of bIrooter, son, o0 Atzs)and.
Tlin7X, then, and spead,- ever, with due reverence
of those guardian angels,
"Into whose hands from first to last,
This world with all its destinies,
Devotedly by iHeaven seems cast!"
If yoa determine to conform yourselves, as far as
in you lies, to the model presented bfor your imitabion by him  who said-" Be ye, therefore, perfect,
even as I am  perfect," you will not disregard the
cultivation of a ready 8 synpathy with the sufferings
and trials of your fellow beings.  In place of adopting a system that wvill not only steel your heart. but
infutise into your whole nature distrust and suspicion,
you will, like Itim  who  went about doing good,
quickly discern suffering, in whatever form  it presents itself, and minister, at least, the balm of a kind
w-ord, when naluht else may be offered.   You will
thus learn not only to pity the erring, but, perchance,  sometimes to ask  yourselves in  profoiund
humility-" wQo /ath made me  to dfeer?"
Young(  men sometimes fall into the impression
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356     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAIN S GUIDE
that a mockling insensibility to human woe is mnanly
-something grand and distinguished.  So they turn
with lofty scorn fiom a starving child, make  the
embarrassment and distress of a poor mother with
a wailing, intant the subject of audible mirthl in a
rail-car, or stage-coaclh, ridicule  the peevishness
of illness, the tears of wounded sensibility, or the
confessions of the penitent! Now, it seems to me,
that all this is super-human in its sublime elevation!
Aly small knowledge of the history of the greatly good,
affords no parallels for the adoption of such a creed.
I have read of a Howard  who terminated  a life
devoted to the benefit of his race, in a noisome dungeon, where he sought to minister to human suffering; of a Fenelon, and a Cheverus whose CatAholc
spirit broke the thralling restrains of sectarianism,
mi favor of general humanity; of the graceful
chivalry and large benevolence of Sir Walter Raleigh and Sir Philip Sidney, of triumphant soldiers
who bound up the wounds and preserved the lives
of a fallen foe; of a Wilberforce, a Pease, and a
Father  Mathew;  of Leigh Richmond, ReIteginald
HIeber, and Pobert Hall; of the parable of the good
Samaritan, and of its Divine Autlior-and I believe
the mass of mankind agree with me in, at least, an
abstract admiration for the characters of eacht! And
though no great achievements in thy cause of Plilanthropy may be in our power, though no mighty
deeds may embalmn our memories amid the imperisliable records of Time, let ulS not overbook those small
acts of kindness, those trifling proofs of sympatlhy.
m    
71 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
which all have at command.  A  look, a word, a
smile —what talismanio power do even these sometimes possess! Riemember, then, that,
"    Heaven decrees
To all the gift of tioiaterny to ease!"
Iii close association with the wish to minister to
the happiness of others, as far as in us lies, is that of
avoiding every self-indulgence that may interfere
with the comfort or the rights of others.  Hence the
cultivation of good-Attmor, and of habits of greatness,
oideir, and',ygularity.  Prompted by this rule, we
will not 8mo/:c in the streets, in rail-cars, on the
decks of steamers, at the entrance of concert and
lecture rooms, or in parlors frequented by ladies.
We will not even forget that neglect of matters of
the toilet, in the nicest details, may render us unpleasant companions for those accustomed to fastidiousness upon these points.
To  the importance  of well-regulated  habits of
Exercise, Temperance, and Relaxation, I have
already called your attention in a previous Letter.
Nothing, tends more effectually to the production
of geinuine independence, than personal Econo2nwy.
N-o habit will more fully enable you to be generous
as well as just, and to gratify your better impulses
and more refined tastes, than the exercise of this unostentatious art.
Remiember  that  giteanness is  not  economy, any
morle thla  it is interity.
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358     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMIAN'S GUIDE
To be wisely economical requires the exercise of
the reflective faculties united with practical experience,  self-denial, and  moral  dignity.  Righitly
viewed, there is nothing in it degrading to the
noblest nature.
Pictitality both in pleasure and  in business
engagements: is alike due to others, and essential to
personal  convenience.  You will,  perhlaps,  have
observed that this was one of the distinguishing traits
of Washington.
Somebody says-"- Ceremony is the Paradise of
F'ools." The same may be said with equal truth, of
8yste?2e.  To be truly fee, one should not be the
slave  of any one  rule, nor of many combined.
System, like other agencies, if judiciously regulated,
materially aids the establishment of good habits
generally, and thus places us beyond the dominion
of
" Circurmstazee, that unspiritual god."
Sir Joshua Reynolds used to i'(niaik that " Nothiing
is denied to well-directed effort." Let Perseverance
then, be united with Eixedsior in your practical
creed.
I think I have made some allusion to the Art of
Convei'sation.  Let me  "makle  assurance  doubly
sure," by the emphatic recommendation of practice
in this elegant accomplishment.  All mental acquisitions are the better secured by the habit of })tting
ideas into words.  By this process, thouglt becomes
clearer, more tang]ibe, so to speak,. and new ideas
It 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
are actually engendered, while we are giving expres sion to those previously in our possession.
In addition to the individual advantage accruing
from this excellent mode of training yourselves for
easy and effective extemporaneous _  publc speaking,
it should not be overlooked, as affording the means
of coniferriing both pleasure and benefit upon others.
Taciturnity and self-engrossment, you may remark,
are not the prominent characteristics of the favorites
of society.
Nor does the practice of ready speaking necessarily interfere with habits of Rejtection and Observation,.  On  the contrary, the mental activity thus
promoted, naturally leads to the accumulation of
intellectual  material  by  every available  means.
I)iscrimination in judging of character, and true
kcnowledge of th/e world, without which all abstract
knowledge is comparatively of little avail, can never
be attained except through the persevering exercise
of these )powers.
Sliall I venture to remind you, my  dear young
firiends, that the manifestation of respect jfor mi,fortunle, siffering, and ae, may become one of your
attributes by the force of habit strengtlhening good
imnpulses.
Will you think me deficient in utilitarianism if I
recommend to you a cultivation of the power to
(di.ce, the Bea,iti~,, as a perpetual source of pure
and exalted enjoyment?  Ilard, grinding, soul-trami -
melling,, is the dominion of real life; will we be less
worthy of our immortal destinies, that we cherish an
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360     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
inner sense, by which we readily perceive moral
beauty, shining as a ray from the very altar of Divinity, or the tokens of the presence of that Divinity
afforded by the wonders of the natnral world? Let
us not be mere beasts of burden, so laden with the
cares, the anxieties, or even the duties of life, as to
have no eye for the unobtrusive, but often fragrant
and lovely  flowers, that bloom  alone  the  most
neglected of our daily paths.
Speaking, of the Beautiful, reminds me that ours
:, the only civilized land where the oesthetical perceptions of the people are not a sufficient safeguard to
the preservation of Woeks of Art, in their humblest
as well as most magnificent exhibitions. Nothing
short of the brutalizing influence of a RPeign of
Terror will tempt a Parisian populace to the desecra
tion of these expressions of refinemiient, taste, and
beauty; while among us, not even  an ornamental
paingg, inclosing, a private residence, or the colonnade of a public edifice, escapes staring tokens of
the presence of this gothic barbarism in our midst.
You will scarcely need to be cautioned against
confounding mere curiosity with a liberal and enlightened observation of life and manners.  All those
indications of undue curiosity respecting the private
affairs of others, expressed by listening to conversation not intended for the general ear, watching the
asicles of society, glancing at letters addressed to
another, or asking direct questions of a personal
nature, are unmistakable proofs of ignorance of the
rules of polished life, though they are not as repre 
TO POLITENESS AND FASIH.
hensible as evi-Fspeatsing, a love of sac)zdal, or the
practice of violating either the coni7dence of firiends
or the sa-cedcss of pvate conversation.
Though a vast difference is created in this respect,
by difference of temperament, yet no man can hope
to acquire the degree of seyf-po8session that shall fit
him for a successful encounter with the ever-varying
emergencies demnanding its illustration, without repeated and re-repeated struggles and discomfitures.
But so invaluable is the treasure, so essential to the
legitimate exercise of every faculty of our being,
that defeat should only render more indomitable the
' will to do, the soul to dare," in persevering endeavors to secure its permanent acquisition.
Let me impress upon you the truth that self-possession is the legitimate result of a we7,l-disci7ned
?nind, and-that it is properly expressed by a quiet
and qiiodest becati~r.
In conclusion, let ine earnestly and affectionately
assure vou teat the formation of right habits, though
necessarily attended, for a time, by failures, difficul
ties, or discouragements, will eventually prove its
own all-sufficient reward. Habitude of thong hit, language, appointment, and manner that shall cititle
you to claim
"The good old name of Gentleman,"
once yours, and you will be armed, point of proof,
against the exacting capriciousness of fashion, and
forever exempted from the tortures often inflicted
16
361 
362     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
upon the sensitive, by the insidious invasions of self
distrust!
Strolling through the Crystal Palace at London,
soon after it was opened, with a young fellow-countryman, he suddenly broke out with-" Will youl just
look at that fellow, colonel?"  Turning and following the direction indicated by his eye (not his finger
or walking-stick, hle was too well-bred to point!) I
discerned, in a different part of the building, Queen
Victoria, accompanied by Prince Albert and two of
the royal children, examining some articles in the
American Department. Very near the stoppingplace of this distinguished party, a representative of
the "universal Yankee nation," had stationed himself-perhaps in a semi-official capacity-upon the
apex of some elevation, with his hat on, and his long
egs dangling down in firont, nearly on a level with
,.e heads of passers-by.
We could not hear the words of her lfaijesty, but
w as apparent that she addressed some inquiry to
him of the legs.  First ejpeting, a torrent of tohncco-juice from his mouth, and rolling away the huge
quid that obstructed his utterance, he deliberately
proceeded to give the explanation desired, retaining
not only his position, but his hat, the while!
MAleantime, as soon as the Queen commenced
addriessing this person, her Royal Consort removed
his hat, and remained uncovered until she again
moved on. I shall not soon forget the face of my 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
companion. Shame and indignation contended for
the mastery on his buriling chieek!
"Good G,Colonel!" he exclaimed, "to think
of such a mere brute as that being regarded as a fair
specimen of the advance of civilization among us!
'Tis enough to make a decent man disclaim his birthrig,ht here! And yet, I have little enough to boast of
m-yself! Only think of my  taking some English
gentlemen who were in New-York a month or two
ago, to see our parks (heaven save the mark!) among
other objects of interest in the city!  Yesterday, Sir
John, who was one of the party, drove about
London with me, and took me also to Kensington
Gardens, St. James' and Regent's Parks! I don't
know what would tempt me again to undergo the
thing! I rather think I am effectually cured, henceforth and for ever, of any inclination to 7)oa8st of anythfing whatever, personal   or national!"
"As  you are the only'gentleman of elegant
leisure' in the family, at present, Harry, suppose
you take these girls to iNew York for a week or
two.  For my part, it's as much  as I can do  to
provide money for the expedition," said your  uncle
William to me, one evening.
" Oh, do, dear uncle Hlal!" exclaimed Ida, witlh
great vivacity, sitting down on a low stool at my
feet, and clasping her hands upon my knee, "we
always love dearly to go with you anywhere, you
are so good to us."
363 
364     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
"Yes!" broke in William junior, " uncle Harry
spoils you so completely by indulgence that I can do
uothing, with you.  You're a most  unruly set, at
home and abroad."
A sudden twitch at the end of his cravat effectually demolished the elegant tie upon which the
young gentleman prides himself, as little Jule, who
was close beside him, pretending to get her French
lesson, and had perpetrated the mischief, cried out"What's the reason, then, that you always take us
all along, when you go out in the woods, and off to
the shore —hey, AIr. Willie?"
"Do be quiet, children," interrupted Ida, reprovingly;' now, uncle dear, won't you take us?  I
want some new traps badly."
"What kind of traps?-mouse traps?"
" gan traps, to be sure!"
" Well, that's honest, at least, Puss."
"31y purposes are more murderous than Ida's,"'
said Cornelia, laughing; "I wan't to buy a new
rnankigler, as Willie calls them."
"It's too late in the season for mantillas," remarked Ida, profoundly.
"A fashionable cloak will serve Cornelia's purpose equally well," returned her father, quietly.
"And, like the mantle of charity, it will hide a
multitude of sins," chimed in her brother.
"Your running commentaries are highly edifying,
my dear nephew," said I. and at the same moment a
large red rose hit him full on the nose.
It was soon arranged that your fair cousins should 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
accompany me to the Empire City in a few days)
and I, accordingly, sat down at once, and wrote to
the " Metropolitan" for rooms.
" What glorious times mother and I will have,"
I overheard William exclaim.  "I shall takle Jul6
under my especial protection, and hear her French
lessons regularly."
"Ao you won't, either," returned that young lady,
with great spirit; " and I wish you'd stop tying my
curls together, and mind your own affairs. No doubt
you'll make noise enough to kill ma and me, while
Corne and Dade are gone, drumming on the piano,
and spouting your Latin speech before the drawingroomn glass.  All I wish is, that uncle Hal wasn't
going away-he never lets you torment me."
As we were entering the dining-room of our hotel,
on the day of our arrival, our friend Governor S —
joined us, and, after shaking hands, in his usual cordial way, with us all, said, as he courteously took
Cornelia's hand and folded it within his arm, "Will
you allow me to attend you, Miss Lunettes? Colonel,
by your leave.   Miss Ida, will you let a lonely
old fellow join your party?   Where  do you sit,
Colonel?"
"We have but just arrived," I replied, " but our
seats are, of course, reserved; let nie secure a seat
for you with us, if possible.  Ida, remain here a
moment with Cornelia and Governor S;" and
presently, finding the proper person, the steward, or
whatever the man of dining-room affairs is called.
365 
366    TIlE AMERICA/ GENTLEIMANNS GUIDE
I arranged with him to seat us together, without
interfering with other parties.
While I was taking my soup, I became suddenly
conscious that something was annoying your cousin
Cornelia, whlio sat between me and S. Glancing at her face, I saw there, in addition to a heightened color, an expression of mingled constraint and
hauteur, quite inconsistent with her usual graceful
self-possession and animation.
Slaking some general remark to her, and showing
no signs of curiosity, I began quietly to cast about
me for the cause of this unwonted disturbance.
Turning my  head towards Ida, I overheard her
saying, playfully, though in an undertone, to the
senator, with whom she was already embarked uponi
the tide of talk: "lie reminds me of an exquisite
couplet in an old valentine of minie:
"' Are not my ears as long as other asses', pray?
Don't I surpass all other asses at a bray?'"
I was not long in detecting the secret cause of
Cornelia's averted face and Ida's sportive quotation.
"See here, John, get me some  col' slaw  and
unions, will you-right off," shouted a young man
seated a little below us, on the opposite side of the
table.
I wish you could have seen the half-repressed
wonder depicted in the countenance of the servant
thus addressed, as he glanced at the piece of
No 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHIIION.
" ~actkerel  I lc mazitre d')I6tel," as the bill of fare
called the fs/  on his plate.
" Oh, for a ilogarth to do justice to the figure
that had arrested my attention! The face was not
bad, perhaps.  A  merry, dark eye, lit up with the
very spirit of mischief and impudence; a tolerably
high, but narrow  forehead;  thick, wild-looking
black hair, parted on the top of the head, and
bushy  whiskers-add large, handsome  teeth, displayed by full, red, ever-laughing lips, and you have
the physiognomy. But the dress!
" Ye powers of every name and grace,"
aid my poor endeavors to describe his toilet! A
high shirt-collar, flaring wide from the throat, by
the pugnacious manifestations of the sturdy whiskers
aforesaid; a flashy neckeloth, tied in very broad
bows, and with the long ends laid off pretty well
towards the tips of the shoulders; a velvet waistcoat, of large pattern and staring colors, crossed by
a heavy gold chain, from which dangled a goldtounoted eye-glass, broad ruffles to his shirt, fastened
with  huge studs of three opposing,  but equally
brilliant colors!  A shining Holland-linen dust-coat
completed this unique costume.
Presently, some one at a distance suddenly attracted the roving( eyes of our hero, and he began the
most significant telegraphing with hands and head,
designed, apparently, to persuade the other to come
and sit by him.  Turning, as if by accident, I saw a
voung man, near the entrance of the rocm, shaking
367
F 
368     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
his head very positively in the negative. But this
was no quietus to our neighbor, who half rose from
his seat. 
" Not room  foir the gentleman here, sir," said a
major dolmo, comiung up.
" Yes there is, too, plenty of room! If you would
just move c( leetle, ma'ami-so," pushing at the chair
of an elderly woman, who seemed suddenly to
grow more slender than ever, and at the same time
hitching his own nearer to that of the person next
him  on the other side, "that will do, famously!
Now, waiters a plate!  I hope I don't crowd you,
sir [to the gentleman next him], we don't wear
hoops yout know! can keep ti7/t without them!'
The last, in a whisper, like a boatswain's whistle
upon vwhichl  the respectable female who illustrated
the mathematical definition of a point, bridlled aid
reddened with virtuous indignation.
Luckily the table was not as closely filled as it
often is, and in much less time than it takes me to
describe the scene, the triumph of the youth was
complete, and a well-dressed, gentlemanly-looTring
man came forward, seemingly with considerable
reluctance.
'" Hlow are you, Fred, how are you?  Right glad
to see youL,'pen my soul —sit down! When'd you
get in?  Left all the folks well?"
There was no avoiding hearing this tide of questions, poured out in a loud, hilarious tone, that rose
over the subdued murmur of ordinary conversation,
like the notes of a bugle, sounding amid the twitter 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
ing of the feathered tenants of a grove.  Apparently
quite unconscious that any one else in his vicinity
possessed powers of hearing and seeing, and wholly
unobservant of the elevated eye-brows of some of
his neighbors, and the significant looks and ill-sup pressed smiles of the servants, the young man ran
on with details of his own private affairs, interrogations respecting those of his companion, interspersed
with loud and multiplied directions to the attendants.
From my soul I pitied his victim! Deeper and deepelr
grew the flush of shame and embarrassment in his
handsome face, more and more laconic and lowvoiced his replies, and more  uneasy his restless
movements and glances.
By and by two huge glasses of foaming strongbeer made their appearance.  Beau Brummiel's celebrated saying-" A gentleman may port; but lie
never 9ialts," crossed my mind.  With due deference
to this high authority, for my part, I think a glass of
London brownv-stout, or Scotch ale, a pleasant accompaniment to a bit of cold meat and bread, when one
is inclined to sup; but taking beer at dinner is quite
another affair.
Well! there was a little lull for a time, only to
be followed by a new sensation.  One of thie quick,
galvanic movements of the nondescript overset a full
bottle of wine, just as it was placed between himself
and his friiend, and he was in the act of saying, "If
you don't drink beer, Fred, take some-by thunder
that'stoo bad!"
The dark-colored liquor poured  over the table.
16*
,,)G 9 
370     TIIE AMIERICAN GENTLEMAN' S GUIDE
cloth, and, dividing into numerous little streamlets,
diverged in every direction from the parent source.
Servants hurried forward with napkins to stay the
progress of the flood, the gentleman next our hero
coolly dammed uLp the stream that most alarmingly
threatened his safety, with a piece of bread, and the
slender female, whose slight pretentious to breadth
had  been  so unceremoniously  ignored,  fidgeted
uneasily under the table, as though apprehensive
that the penetrating powers of the invading  foe
might be working in ambush, to the detriment of
her light-hued drapery. But the face of the young
stranger!  It was positively mottled!   His very
forehead, before smooth and fair, suddenly suggested
the idea that he was just recovering from the smallpox!
3Ieantime, our little party were quietly pursuing
the even tenor of their respective dinners. Suddenly
I missed S
"'What has become of the Governor?" said I to
Cornelia, in an under-tone.
"A servant called him away," returned she, in the
same unnoticeable manner.  The next moment  I
again remarked the same peculiar movement towvards me and the same expression of countenance,
that had arrested my attention when we first sat
down.  A  woman's quick instinct never deceives
her! Apparently unheeding, I listened.
" Dev'lish handsome! like her air!-wouldn't object to taking the seat myself, by George!" caught
my ear. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
I think that young man understood the Jic look
with which I regarded him for the space of about
half a minute! I was quite sure his companion did.
BV this time, the dessert was on the table.
"Where're you going, Fred? you ain't done?"
shouted the Hoosier, or whatever he was.
"I have an  engagement-I'll see you again,"
replied the gentleman thus addressed, springing up,
and eluding the detaining grasp of his persecutor,
quickly made good his escape.
INo sooner were we seated in one of the parlors,
than Ida's pent-up merriment burst forth.
"Did you hear what that poor young man said,
when the other commenced reading the bill of fare,
uincle," said she, "just before he darted out of the
room?"
"What. in particular, do you refer to, my dear?
I heard a great deal more than I wished."
"0, I mean  when the speak;ny-trumpet, as Governor S    - called him, shouted out-'fricandeau
de veat!-What's he, Fred?  Do  tell a fellow.'
tIe was picking his teeth at the time, with a large
goose-quill, with all the feathers on!"
"Well, what was the answer?"
" The poor martyr was, by that time, reduced to
the c(lmnness of despair," replied your cousin, laughim(g; "he answered, with a meaning air, I thought,
' A  a's h'ead!-onee of the enrees!'  Corn6, I hope
you did not lose the full effect of the great green
and orange-colored peaches sprinkled over the vest
of your admirer.   Love at first sight, my dear 
371 
372       TIE AMIi  1CAE  GENTLEMIAN S GUIDE
Never saw more  inmistakable smitation!  What a
triunlph! Your first conquest since your arrival in
New York, I believe, AIiss Lunettes!" lisping affectedly, and bowing with mock deference.
"Ida, you'll be overheard!  I'm ashamed of yol,"
returned the stately Cornelia, with an air of offended
propriety.
"It will never do, Puss," said I;' Corne is right.
But, Corn(, what happened the senator?"
"tIow courteous he is!" exclaimed the young
lady, with sudden enthusiasm.  " A  servant can(me
and whispered to him-'3Iiss Lunettes,' said he,
turning to me,' the only man in the world who conuld
tempt me from yoLur side-my best friend-asks for
me on important business. Will you permit me to
leave you, after requesting the hlonor of attending
-yon?'  Of course, I assented.'Make my apologies
to MIiss Ida and Colonel Lunettes,' said he, as we
shook hands,'I am very unfortunate.'"
"Hlow quietly he slipped away," said Ida; "I
knew nothing of it, until lie was gone."
"WTell-bred people are always quiet," remarked
the elder sister, significantly.
" Oh, dclear me!" retorted Ida, coloring. "Well,
it's too much to expect of any one, not to laugh at
such a nondescript specimen of humanity as that
young man."
The next morniing, before I left my room, a card
was brought to mne, inscribed  wvitlh.the name of
" Frederick H. Alloway," and inclosed withl the fol
lowing note: 
TO PI'OLITENESS AND Fl'ASION.
" The son of one of Colonel Lunettes' old fr;iends
begs leave to claim the honor of his acquaintance,
and will do himself the pleasure to pay his respects,
at any hour, this morning, that will be most agreeable to Colonel Lunettes.
"J fetrop)olitan Ilotel,
" lrediesday:forn."
A hlalf-revived remembrance of a face once familiar, had haunted me at the dinner table the day
before, whenever I chanced to catch the eye of the
victimized youth I have alluded to. I was, therefore, not unl)repared to find him identical with the
author of this note.
A certain constraint was evinced by his manner,
when the first complimentary phrases were over.
At length his embarrassment found expression.
"I am not sure, Colonel Lunettes," said he, " that
I should have ventured to intrude upon you this
morning-much as I desired to make the acquaintance of a gentlemen of whom I have so frequently
heard my father speak —had I not wished to make
an apology, or at least an explanation"
lie hesitated, and the mottled color of the day before mantled over his ingenuous face. I hastened to
say somnething polite.
" You are very good, sir-really-scandalously as
that young fellow  behaved-he  is not without
redeeming qualities. My acquaintance with him is
slight, and entirely accidental.  One of our success
8311 
374     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
ful Western speculators, and a very good-hearted fel
low-but sadly in need of polish."
'So I perceived," returned I, gravely, "'nor is
that all.  One can pardon;yn)oGance much  more
readily than i&ir)udenee."
" Very true, sir. I only hope that I was not so un fortunate as to incur your displeasure. I-permit rie
* to express the hope that the ladies of your party did
not regard me as, in the most remote way, implicated in ail intention to annoy them," and his voice
actually trembled with manly earnestness.
" By no means, my dear young friend; by no
means. I assure you, on the contrary, that you
had our sympathy in your distress-comic as it
,nas."
The intense ludicrousness of the affair now seemed,
for the first time, to take full possession of the perceptive faculties of my new acquaintance.
When our mutual merriment had in some degree
subsided, I invited him to dine with us, unless he
preferred to resume his seat of the day before.
"-Heaven  forbid!"  exclaimed  he,  with  great
vivacity;  "I should have left this house to-day,
if that fellow had not-lihe is gone, I am rejoiced to
say."
It was arranged that the "son of my old friend." as
hlie indeed was, should meet me in the drawing-room
a few monlents before dinner, and be presented to
your cousins. So we parted.
Almost the first person I saw as I was entering the
public drawing-room, to join my nieces, before din 
1TO0 POLITENESS AND FASHIIION.
ner, on that day, was young Alloway. Ile was, evi
dently, awaiting me, and, upon my recognizing him
by a bow, at once advanced.
".You are punctual, I see, slr. Alloway," said I,
as we seated ourselves; "a very good trait, in a
young man!"
"I fear, sir, there is little merit in being punctual
with suelh a reward in anticipation," replied be,
laughiing pleasantly, and bowing to the ladies, as he
spoke.
Our new acquaintance, very properly, offered his
arm to the younger sister, and I, of course, preceded
them with the elder, and though, when we were seated
together, he was quite too well-bred to confine either
his attentions or his conversation to Ida, I must say
that I have not often seen two young people become
more readily at ease in each other's society than my
lively favorite, and the "son of my old friend"
They seemed to find each other out by intuition,
and talked together in the most animated manner
permitted by their unvarying regard for decorum.
Their nearest neighbors were not disturbed by their
mirthfulness, nor could persons seated opposite them
hear their conversation, and yet Alloway was evildently fast being remunerated for the chagrin and
embarrassment of his previous dinner.
"Uncle Hal," said Cornelia, leaning towards me,
as we sat together on a sofa, after leaving the table;
glancing round to be sure that Ida heard her;
"don't you think Mlinnesota gentlemen, generally,
must be rather susceptible?"
375 
3176     THE AAIERLICAN GENT,LEMNAN'S GIJIDE
I-er sister, turning
"The trembling lustre of her dewy eyes"
upon the quizzical speaker, was interrupted in the
spirited rejoinder she evidently meditated, by the
return of Alloway, who had been up to his room for
a pencil-skletch of the Falls of Minnehahla (between
St. Paul's and the Falls of St. Anthony, you know)
which he told us he had made on the spot, a few
days before leaving his Western home.
" Iow beautiful it must be there!" exclaimed Ida,
delightedly. "And youL are taking this to your motlher! It reminds me of a' Panlorama of the Western
Wilds,' I think it was called, to which papa took us
in Richmond, last spring.  I don't know when I saw
anything so lovely!  I had no just conception before
of the magnificence and variety of the scenery of the
far-West."
"Why, my dear," said I quietly, just for my owni
amusement, and to watch the effect upon all parties,
"you seem so charmed with these sketches of the
WVest, that I think I must try and show you the originals by-and-by. How would you like to go with me
to look after my Western investments next month?"
" Just like uncle Hal!"  I hear more than one of
you crying. " He always plays the mischief amoing
the young folks!" So, to punish your impertinence,
I shall say nothing in particular, of the sudden light
that shone in the fine eyes of our new friend, nor of
the enthusiasm with which Ida clapped her hands
anid bravoed my proposition. Still more, I am by 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
no means sure that I shall feel justified in telling yo
what came of all this in the future.
After a while, some other young  men came to
speak to the girls, and Alloway, modestly withdrawing, lingered near me, as if wishing to address me.
A lady was saying something to me at the moment.
When she had finished speaking, I turned to my
young friend.
"Colonel Lunettes," said he, in the most polite and
respectful manner, " the ladies inform me that they
are to go with you to see some pictures, in the imorning.  Will you permit me to attend them?"
Receiving, my  assent, he added, "My present
mode of life affords few facilities for the inspection
of works of Art; and I am so mere a tyro, too, that
I shall be happy to have the benefit of your cultivated taste."
"I dare say 1Lr. Alloway could instruct us all,"
interposed Ida, "that is, sister and me.   Unleo
Lunettes has spent so many years abroad, that he is,
of course, quite atbfait in all such things."
"At what hour do you propose going, ladies?"
inquired Alloway.
Twelve o'clock was fixed upon.
"I shall have great pleasure in again meeting
you all at that time," said Alloway, and, as he
shook hands with me, hlie added, with a significant
smile,  "I will  endeavor  to be  quite punctual,
Colonel!"
"Who  is that fine-looking young man,  Coloniel
37'7 
s78     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
Lunettes?" asked the lady with whom I had been
conversing, as I reseated myself at her side. "hIis
manners are remarkably easy and graceful for so
young a person. What a contrast he is to young J  -,
there, who, with all the advantages of education,
foreign travel, and good society, is, and always will
be, a clown!  Just look at him, now, talking to those
girls! Sitting, of course, upon two legs of his chair,
and picking his teeth with a pen-knife!"
"What would be the consequence," said I, "if
he should lose  his balance and fall backward,
with his mouth open in that way, and his knife held
by the tip end of the handle, poised upon his
teeth?"
"It looks really dangerous, don't it," commented
the same slender female, whose s7ight manifestations
had interested me, at dinner, the day before-" but I
suppose he is so used to it that "
A sudden movement arrested further phlilosophical
speculation, on the part of this profound observer of
life and manners, and a young lady whose flounces
had been sadly torn by the very chair upon the
occupant of which she was commenting, passed hurriedlvy out of the room, with her disordered dress
gathered up in both hands.
The next morning, some time before the hour
appointed for our visit to the Dusseldorf Gallery, a
servant brought me the following note:
"tIr. Allow-ay regrets extreinely that  an unex
pected, but imperative, engagemnent, deprives him 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
of the anticipated pleasure of accompanying the
7Misses and Colonel Lunettes this morning.
'"Will Colonel Lunettes oblige Mr. Alloway by
mnakinog his compliments acceptable to the Misses
Lunettes, togetler with the most sincere expressions
of his disappointment?
" IETROPOLITAN IIOTEL,
" Thuirsday Afortingo."
c I am so sorry!" exclaimed Ida, when informed
of this.  "Uncle Hal is always beau enough, but tihe
more the mlerrier, you know, dear uncle," added she,
linking her arm in mine, and looking artlessly up
into my face.
" You are quite right, my dear," said I.  " I like
your frankness, and I am sorry to lose Alloway myself'."
As I was going out of the " Ladies' Entrance" with
your cousins, I perceived my young, friend supporting the steps of a pale, emaciated gentleman, who
coughed violently, and walked with difficulty, even
fronm the carriage to the door, though sustained on
the other side, also, by an elderly lady.   I drew
the girls aside, that they might pass uninterruptedly.
"I hope you are well this morning, ladies," said
Alloway, raising his hat, as hle caught sight of us,
" Good morning, Colonel Lunettes."
"Good miorning, again, ladies!" said a cheerful,
but subdued voice behind us, as the girls and I were
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6 
380     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
seated together, examining the merry " Wine-tasters 
of the Gallery, after having devoted some time to
subjects of a more elevated moral tone.
We  turned our heads simultaneously.   " Good
morning, sir," said Alloway, for it was he;'"with
your leave, I will join you now."
Your cousins made room for him between them.
"I am so happy not wholly to lose this," said he,
bowing to each of the ladies.  - I feared I could not
meet you here even as early as this."
"We would have waited for you," interposed Ida;
" why didn't you tell us?"
" I did not think for a moment of taking such a
liberty," returned the young man.  "It would, perhlaps, have interfered with your other engagements.
Indeed, I scarcely hoped to find you here, but could
not deny myself the pleasure of coining in search of
'Which is your favorite picture here, Miss Ll
nettes?"' I heard Alloway ask presently.
" Come and see," returned she, and, rising, she
added, "come, sister-uncle, we will return, do not
disturb yourself."
Loitering along toward them, a while after, I remarked, as I approached, the expressive faces of the
group, and their graceful attitudes, as they discussed
Cornelia's " favorite," and reflected how much the
poetry and beauty that environ youth, when refined
by nature, and polished by education, surpass the
highest achievements of art.
"What innocence in that face!  What dewy soft
4 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
ness in the steadfast eyes!" exclaimed  Cornelia.
"The very shoes have an appropriate expression!
dear little bird! one can't help loving her, and wanting to know all about her."
"If she were not deaf and dumb," said her cavalier, "I am sure she would rise and make a courtesy
to such flattering admirers! I am getting dreadfully
jealous of her!"
"You needn't be, as far as I am concerned," retorted Ida; "for my part, I don't like that brown
stuff dress!  She isn't fixed up a bit, as children
always are, when they sit for their portraits." And
she tripped away to take another look at Iter especial
adcmiration-the " Peasants  tetqurning fromn  the
ictr&ve,t-feld," which is, indeed, a gem.
"WIhat does Aliss Ida mean?" inquired Alloway,
smilingly, of her sister.
"I am  sure I don't know," returned Cornelia,
" she is full of sentiment, which she always endeavors
to hide."
" With your permission I will go and ask her,"
said the admirer of the truant, and bowing politely
to us both, he followed Ida.
I will just add, here, that I learned afterwards, accidentally, and, not even remotely through him, that
the persons with whom we met Alloway that morning, were the mother and brother of that scapegrace
we first saw him with.  They had come to New
York with the understanding that he would meet
them there, at an appointed time, and assist in the
care required by his dying relative; but this promis
381 
382     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
ing youth had suddenly left the city, without leaving,
any clue to his proceedings, probably, in pursuit of
some pretty face, which, like Cornelia's, happened
to attract his attention. Luckily, the poor mother
learned that Alloway, who was slightly known  to
her, was in the city, and appealed to him for assistance-with what success may be inferred from the
little incident I have narrated.
It has always been a matter of marvel, with the
learned in such matters, how Sir Walter Scott accome.
plished such Herculean literary labors in conjunction with the discharge of so many public and social
duties. As he himself used to say, he long had a
"troop of dragoons galloping through his head," to
which, as their commanding officer, he devoted
much attention; he was sheriff of the county-(in
the discharge of the duties of this office, by the way,
he used to march through the streets of the shiretown, during court term, arrayed in a gown and bag
wig, at the head of his Posse covzitatits, greatly to
his own amusement and that of his fiiends)-and
remarkable for the most urbane and diffusive hospi
tality.  After he ceased to be the Great Unknown,
or rather, after he was identified with that celebrity,
Abbotsford became the resort of innumerable visitors, attracted thither by curiosity, interest, or fiiendship.   Not only his beautiful residence, but the nu 
TO POLITENESS AND FASIIION.
merous points of scenery and the superb ruins in the
neighborhood of Abbotsford, which had been rendered classic by his maric pen, were to be inspected
by these guests, and Scott always seemed to have
time for a gallop among the hills, an excursion to
Di)ryburgh and 3ielrose Abbey, a pilgrimage along
the banks of the romantic river he has helped to
immortalize, or a lively chat with the ladies after
dinner.  And he never had that air of pro-occupation that so often characterizes literary men, in general society.  I-e took part in the most genial and
hearty manner, in the conversation of the imoment,
bringing his full quota to the commonl stock of miirthl,
anecdote and jest.  I can almost see him, as I write,
sitting in the midst of a social cireleo in his drawilng-room, trotting the curly-pated little son of Mr'S.
Hiemans, wvho was at Abbotsford on a visit, with
her sister and this child, upon his 8s,ong knee, and
singing,
"Charley my darling, my darling, Charley my darling,'
at intervals, for the amusement of the little fellow.
I chanced, too, to accompany him, when lie attended
the poetess to her post-cliaise, on the morning of her
departure, and had occasion to remarkl his courteous
hospitality to the last.   "There are some persons,"
said lie, with his cordial smile, as he offered his hand
at parting, "whom one earnestly desires to meet
again. You, madam, are one of those."   But I am
quite forgetting the object that induced my recur,
rence to these well-remembered scenes.
383 
384     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
In answer to some leading remark of mine, regarding the wonderful versatility of his father-in-law,
addressed to 3IAr. Lockhart, as we stood together con
temnplating the ivy-mantled walls of DL)iyburg-i, he
informed me of the secret of his extraordinary
achievements with the pen: " When you meet himn
at breakfast," said iIr. Lockhart, "lie has already,
as he expresses it,'broken the neck of the day's
work'-he writes  n tlte morniny.  Eschewing the
indulgences of late rising and slippered ease (at the
last he rails incontinently), he is ulp with the larkby half past four or five, dresses as you see him at
a later hour, in out-door costume, visits the stables,
and then sets himself resolutely to work. ]y nine
o'clock, when lie joins us, he has accomplished the
labors of a day, almost."
"His correspondence alone must occupy an immense deal of time," said I.
"And yet," returned my companion, " Sir Walter
makes it a rule to answer every letter on the day of
its reception. It must be an urgent cause that interferes with this habit.  And I am often astonished at
the length and careful composition of his replies te
the queries of literary correspondents, as well as to
his letters of friendship."
"One would suppose his health must be impaired
by such severe mental labor," I answered.
"His cheerful temper, and his power to leave care
beAind his  in his study, are a great assistance to
hima," replied SIlr. Lockhart, moving towards our
horses, as he spoke —" but here," he added, smilingly, 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
laying his hand on his saddle, "here is his grand
preservative.  It must be foul weathlier, indeed, even
for our Northern land of mists and clouds, that keeps
himn from his c7aiy atlowance offfresh air."
" Sir Walter is an accomplished horseman, I observe," said I, as we resumed our ride.
" You may well say that!" exclaimed his son-inlaw,  laughing.  " I wish you could have seen him at
the head of  -is troop of hlorse, chlarging an imaginary foe.  Only the other day, his favorite steed
broke the arm of a groom who attempted to mount
him; and yet, in Sir Walter's hands, hlie is as docile
as need be. There seems to be some secret understanding between him  and  his horses and dogs.
Tlhis very ]iorse, though lie will never permit another
mtan to mount him, seems to obey his master's beiests with real pride as well as pleasure.  I believe
he would kneel to receive him on his back, were he
bidden to do so."
Dipping into an instructive and pleasant, though
no longer inew book,*> the other day, I came across
the following passage: " Brougham  has recorded
that the peroration of his speech in the Queenl's
case "-his celebrated defence of Queen  Caroline
against her beastly husband-" was written no less
than ten times before hlie thought it fit for so august
an occasion.  The same is probably true of similar
passages in Webster's speeches; it is known to be
* Sketchies of Reform and Reformers,-by H. B. Staoon.
17
385 
386     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
so of Burke's." Wlat do you think of such examples
of industry and perseverance as these, young gentlemen?
"Step in, ina'am, step in, if you please," said our
JehlL, opening the door of a stage-coach, in which I
was mlaking a journey through a region not then
penetrated by modern improvements, "would youi
like the back seat?"  Beside him stood a slightlyformed, delicate-looking, girl, in a hesitating attitude.
"I cannot ride backwards without being ill," said
she, timnidly, " and I-I shall be sorry to disturb any
one, but I would like to sit by a window."
A young man who was sitting on the middle seat
with me immediately alighted, to mnake room for the
more convenient entrance of the stranger, and, as he
did so, the driver said decidedly-" Shall be obliged
to ask the gentlemen on the back seat to accommodate the lady."  Alow-browed, surly-looking young
fellow, who sat nearest the door of the vehicle, oni
the seat designated, doggedly kept his place, muttering something about having the first claim, "first
come, first served," etc.  Seeing how matters stood,
a good-natured, farmner-like looking old man, who
occupied the other end of the seat, called out
cheerily, " The young woman  is welcome to my
place, if I can only get out of it!" and he began
at once to suit the action to the word.
By this time the before pale face of the young 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION..
girl was painfully flushed, and she said, in a low,
deprecating tone, "I am  very sorry to make so
much trouble."
"[No trouble at all, ma'am-none at all!  Just
reach me your hand and I'll help you up-t'hat's
it!"
"I am much obliged to you, sir-very much! I
hope you will find a good seat for yourself," said
the recipient of his kindness, gently.
" No doubt of it!" returned he of the cheery voice.
"I ain't at all sorry to change a little-them back
seat's plaguy cramnped up!  They say," added he,
settling himself next the boot, " that the front seat's
the easiest of all.  One thiing, there's more room
[stretching his legs withi an air of infinite relief
between those of his opposite neighbors], a duced
sight!"
"Take your fare, gem'men," cried a bustling personag,e, at this moment.
" What is the fare from here to 0." inquired
the stationary biped in the corner behind me.
"Six shillings, York money," was the ready response.
"Six shillings!" growled the other; " seems to me
there's great extortion all'long this road. Yesterday
I. paid out three dollars, hard money-twelve slillin' for lodgin', supper, and breakfast, back here
to G!"
" Take your fare nowv, sir," interrupted the bustling little man at the door, stepping upon the wheel,
in sublime indifference to the muttered anathlemas,
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388     THE AMEPRICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
half addressed to him.  "What name, sir?"-preparing to write on the "way-bill "-" -alva}ys, sir! it is
rulable-always put down the name."
The low voice of the lady, when she was reached,
in due order, was almost lost in the grumbling kept
up by the agreeable occupant of the corner seat.
The most amusing commingling of opposite sounds
reached my ears, somewhat like the soft tones of a
distant flute, and the growling-not loud, but deepof a hungry mastiff. "' Julia Peters "-" takes off the
silver, by thunder!"-" Is my band-box put on?"
here a chinking, as of money counted, and then a hurried fumbling appeared to take place in the " deepest depths" of various pockets.  "lHow soon will
we be there," in silvery murmurs-" By George! I
swear I b'lieve I lost two shillin'!"-" Before dark!"
chimed in the flute-notes.  " I am glad to hear it!"
" I'll be hanged if any one shall come it over me!"
surged over the musical ripple.  "When you stop at
my brother-in-law's," concluded the softer voice. in
this unique duet.
Having been sometime on the wing, I fell into a
doze, as we proceeded.  As  I roused myself, at
length, the young man who had alighted to make
room for the entrance of Miss Peters, whispered,
"That young lady seems very ill-what can we
do for her relief?"  A moment's attention convinced
me  that the poor thing was  horribly staye-sicZ,
When she appeared to rally a little, I turned round
to her, and said, that I trusted she would allow me to
render her any service in my power.  Forcing a 
TO POLITENESS AND FASIHION.
smile, she thanked me, and replied that she would
soon be better she thought, adding, in a still lower
tone, that the smell of tobacco always affected her
very sensibly.  This last remark was  at the time
unintelligible to me, but I afterwards learned that the
animal on the same seat with her had regaled hiimself upon the vilest of cigars while I was napping,
and that the only attempt at an apology he had
offered was a mumbled remark that; " as the wind
blew the smoke out of the stage, hlie s'posed no one
hadn't no objections!"
Despite the hope expressed by my suffering neiglhbor, she did not get better, but continued to endure
a most exhausting ordeal.  Every decent man in the
coach seemed to sympathize with her, the rather
that she so evidently tried to make the best of it,
and to avoid annoying others. Every one had a
different remedy to suggest, but, unfortunately, none
of them available, as there was no stopping place
near. Thouglh a somewhat experienced traveller, my
ing,enuity could, until we should stop, effect no more
than disposing my large woollen shawl so as to aid in
supporting the weary head of the poor child.
As soon as we reached the next place for changing
horises, I sprang out, in common with the other passeng,ers, and, inquiring for the nearest druggist, hastened to procure a little reliable brandy.
Having previously arranged a change of seats with
the harmless stripling who had thus far occupied
the middle backl seat, I entered the stage, and
quietly told the young lady that, as there was no one
389 
390     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
of her own sex aboard, I should claim the privilege
of age, and prescribe for her, if she would permit
Tie.
" This is not a pleasant dose, I must warn youil,"
said I, offering her a 8hdi(e tea,vpoo.i,dt of  clear
brcandy, " but I can safely promise you relief, if you
will swallow it; this is a nice, clean glass, too," I
added. smilingly, for I well knew how much that assurance would encourage my patient.
"I do not know how to thank you sufficiently,
sir," said the young lady, striving to speak cheerfully,
as she attempted to raise her head. Taking the
tumbler, with a trembling hand, she bravely swallowed my prescription. I must own she gasped a
little afterwards, but I could not allow her the relief
of water, without nullifying the proper effect, so I
assisted her in removing her bonnet (which the goodnatured farmer, who had re-entered the coach with
me, carefully pinned upon the lining of the vehicle,
where it would safely swing), and in enveloping
her head in her veil, adjusting her shawl comfortably about her, and wrapping my own about her
feet.
"If I become your physici,n," said I, as I stooped
to make the latter process more effectual, " you must
allow me the right to do as I think best."
"I shall  be only too miuch obliged  by  your
kindness, sir," returned she. "All I fear is, that
you will give yourself unnecessary trouble on my
account."
"The gentleman don't seem to think it's no trou 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
ble," interposed the old farmer, "'taint never no
trouble to good-hearted folks to help a fellow-cretur
in distress!  I wish miy wife was here; she knows a
great sight better than I do, how to take care o' sick
ftlks."
I am  sure," reptlied the invalid, "if kindncess
could make people well, I should be restored.  I
feel myself greatly indebted to you, gentlemen."
The slilght color called to her cheek by the genuine feeling with which she uttered these words, was
by no means decreased, as she gracefully accepted
the offerings of the youth who had first called my
attention to her indisposition. Coming up to the
side of the stage, near her, he expressed the hope
that she was feeling better, and, saying that hlie had
known sea-sickness relieved by lemon-juice, presented
a fine, fresh lemnon, and a superb carnation-pink, and
quickly withdrew.
i[r. Benton-that I heard him tell the way-billinan was his name-lost something in not hearing
and seeing all I did of the pleasure he bestowed by
his gifts; but he had his reward, as he re-seated himself near us.
"You did not give me an opportunity to thank
you for your politeness, sir," the lady hastened to
say, with a pretty, half-shrinking manner, " I am
so much obliged to you for the flower! it is so spicy
and refreshing, and so very beautiful."
"A very indifferent apology for a bouquet," re.
turned the gentleman, "all I could find, however.  I
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392     THE AMIERICAN GENTLEMAIAN S GUIDE
am very happy if it affords you the slightest gratifl
cation."
No sooner were we fairly on our way again, than
I insisted upon supportiing the head of my fair patient upon my shoulder, assuring her that ten minutes' sleep would complete tihe cure, already begun
in her case. She blushed, and hesitated a little,
upon the plea that she would tire me.
"Allow me to be the judge of that," I answered,
with some gravity, " and permit the freedom of an
old man." With this, I placed my arm firminly about
her slight form, and, without more ado, the languid
head dropped upon my shoulder.
I very soon had the satisfaction to discover that
" tired nature's sweet restorer " had come to my assistance, aild to discern the ietimir of soime natural
color to the pallid face of the poor sufferer; so gathering her shawl more closely about her, and disposing
myself more effectually to support my light burden,
I maintained my vigil until the sudden stopping of
the vehicle aroused us all.
" The lady gets out here," cried the driver, open
img the door, and, through the obscurity that had
now gathered about us, I dimly discerned the outlines of the small dwelling in front of which we were
at a stand.  In another moment, the door was fluing
hurriedly open, and a gentleman hastened forward
to receive my fair charge, who, notwithstanding the
confusion of the moment, found time to acknowledtge
the insignificant attentions she had received nomn 
TO POLITENlESS ANI) FASHION.
hier travelling companions, much lmore warmly than
they deserved. Our last glimpse of my interesting
patient, revealed her folded closely in the arms of
a lady, whio appeared in the lighted passage, and
embraced, simul taneously, by several curly-headed
children, who clung to her dress, and hung upon her
neck with manifest and noisy delight.
TWe lumbered along, across a dalrk, covered bridge,
up hill and down, and then I reached my destination, for the nonce, the "New York hotel," as tihe
little tavern of the village of B     was grand-elo
quently styled.
"W Tell, I ain't sorry we're arrove!" exclaimed tle
elegant young man, with whose courtesy of nature my
story opened.  "George!"-stretching his ungainly
limbs upon the porch of the house-" won't some
tipple be fine? Hotel tipple's good enough for me!"
Pefore I could decide in mv own mind whetlher
this last declaration was intended as a fling at me,
for not giving Aliss Peters a match for his disgusting
tobacco-smoke, from the bar of the stage-house, wlhen
I came to the rescue ill her service, he was scuffliii,g
with some ragged boys for his trunk, and, as he
marched off with his prize, I heard a characteristic
growl over the prospective tax upon his purse.
The next day was Sunday, and, of course, I was
temporarily at a stand-still in my journey.
The sexton of the neat little church to which I
found my way in the morning, put me into a pew
next behind that I surmised to be the Rector's.  A
movement among its occupants arrested my attention,
17-*
391)
1) 
391     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
and I soon became really interested in remarking
the healthful beauty of the children, who, disposed
between the two ladies occupying the extreme ends
of the seat, seemed to find some difficulty in keeping
as quiet as decorum permitted.
"I want to sit by aunt Julia," I overheard, as a
brig,ht-eyed little fellow began to nestle uneasily in
his seat.  Upon this, the lady at the top of the pew
turned her head, and, behold! the face of mnay young
stage-coach friend!  She wvas too much  engaged,
howvever, in aiding their mother, as I supposed her
to be, in settling the children, before the service
should commence, to observe me, and I almost
doubted whether the happy, smiling face I saw, was
identical with the worn and colorless one that had
reposedcl so helplessly upon my breast on the previous
eveninig; but there was no mistaking the soft, blue
eyes, and the wavy hair, almost as sunny in hue
as that of the little fellow who, at length, rested
quietly, with his head pillowed on her arm.
Scarcely had we begun with the Psalter, before IAliss
Peters looked quickly round, with a startled glance.
A half-smile of recognition lighted her sweet face,
and then her gaze was as quickly withdrawn.
' Good morning, sir!" exclaimed my  new  acquaintance, advancing eagerly toward me, and offering her hand, as soon as we were in the vestibule of
the church, at the conclusion of the service; "I did
not anticipate this pleasure-sister, this is the gentlenman to whom I was so much indebted yesterday."
"We are all much obliged by your kindness to 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
-iss Peters  sir," her companion hastened to say,
end both bowed most politely to my disclaimers of
meit for so ordinary an act of humanity as that to
which they referred, and to my inquiries for the
health of my fair patient.
Then followed a cordial invitation to dinner, in
which each vied with the other in frank hospitality.
I attempted to compromise the matter by a promise
to pay my respects to the ladies in the evening.
"We do not dine until five on Sunday, sir, and
that is almost evening!   1ir. Y       will walk over
and accompany you-you are at the Hotel?  It will
g,ive us great pleasure if you will colne, unceremoniously, and partake of a simple family dinner.  Mliss
Peters claims you as africnd."
There was no withstanding this, especially as each
phrase of courtesy was made doubly expressive, by
the most ingenuously hospitable manner.
"RPeally, ladies," said I, as we reached the gate
of the Rectory, "there is no resisting such fair
tempters! I will be most happy to exchange the
solitude of my dull room for the joys of your Eden."
And, insisting that I could not permit Mlr. Y
to add to his clerical duties the fatigue of calling f)r
me, I renewed my expressions of gratification at tlle
rectoration of Mliss Peters, and took my leave.
I was still engaged in laying off my overcoat and
shoes, after sending, in my  card, when  sir. Y —
came out to welcome me; and a most cordial welcome it was! Such a warm hand-shaking as he gave
mne, and such emphatic assurances of the pleasure it
395 
191    9  /6'IIE A3IERICA   GiTiAN GENTEAS GUIDE
afforded him to make my acquaintance!  And when
I entered the tasteful little parlor, where I found
the ladies, I was received with equally frank hosp)itality.  The  clhildren united with their seniors inmaking  me ieel, at once, that I was among friends.
One  little circumstance, I remember, particularly
touched me.  I was scarcely seated, when a little
tottering thing, with a toy in her hand, came and
placed herself betwveen my knees, and raising a pair
of large, truthful, blue eyes to mine, lisped out, "I
does'ouv'oU dearly!-'ou was'o dood to aun' Dule!
I dive'otL my pretty'ittle birdie!" and the little
cherub presented me the toy.-It was many a lonJ,
lday afterwards, believe nme, my dear boys, before tlte
warmthl infused into the heart of an old campaigner,
bv tle siiiple adventures of that quiet villabe Sa)bbath, ceased to glow cheerily in his heart!
After the unprietending, but pleasant, well-appoinlted
dinner was concluded, MIiss Peters rose, and, with a
slight apology to me, was leaving the room, when
her sister arrested her.  Some  playful, whispered
contest seemed to be going on between the two, of
which I could not help overhearing, in the sweet,
silvery tones that had charmed me in the stagecoac],  " You know, dear, it's such a luxury to me!
— you are alw-ays with tlhem-.  I will have my own
way when I am  here!" anid away she flew likle a
fawn.
PIPresently, thlle pattering of numerous tiny feet, and
a commingling of joyous voices, and the music of
childish laimhter, reaclhed my ears, from the stairs, 
TO POLITENESS AND FASIIItN.
and then all was for a moment hushled. l ow there
was distinctly heard from above, the swelling, notes
of a simple, child's lhymn, sung by several voices,
led by the musical one I had learned to disting,uisl,
and then followed a low-murmured " Our Father,"
as I thought.
Colonel Lunettes," said miy hostess, drawing a
chair to the sofa corner, where I had been snugly
ensconced by two of the chlildren, before they said
good-night, "I will take advantage of sister's absence
to express my personal obligations to you for your
kind care of her yesterday "
" My dear Ailadam," I interposed, " I regard my
mieeting, your sister as a special Providence, for
which I alone should be deeply grateful!"
"'You are very polite, sir," answered the lady,
we, too, shoulld be grateful. Julia should never travel alone.  Mr. Y        always goes over to 0for her, lwhen we expect her, and intended to do so
this time, but she insisted upon it in her last letter,
that she knew she wouldn't be ill, and that he would
only distress her by coming, as she was sure he was,
necessarily, very busy, preparing for the Bishlop's
visit, and, indeed, she expected to come over with
an elder lady teacher in the Seminary."
"Then Aliss Peters is instructing 5Mrs. YA?'
" She is, sir.  We are orphans [a slight quiver in
the tones] and Julia prefers to nmakle this effort for
herself "
"I am opposed to it," continued Mir. Y —,  tak ing up the narrative, as his wife half-paused, "and
89"41 
o398     TIHE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
much prefer that Julia shiould be with us,-she and
Airs. Y — should not be separated.  I am  sure
there is room enough in our hearts for all our chilc7ni, and Julia is one of them!"
The grateful, loving smile, and dewy eyes of the
wife, alone expressed her sense of pleasure at these
words.  For myself, I declare to you, I did not like
to trust myself to reply.  I waAs turning over some
new pages of the history of humnan nature! Sometimes I think, as I did then, that the soul of man
never reaches the full development of its earthly capacities, except when continually subjected to the
blessed influences of nature!  The city-the beaten
thoroughfares of existence-curb,  if they do not
deaden, the better manifestations of the spirit, check
forever, the most beautiful, individualizing specialities of manner even!  But I did not mean to moralize.
When \Iiss Peters rejoined us, her brother-in-law
rose (as I also did, of course) and seated her between
us, on the sofa.
"3ily dear young lady," said I, taking her hand
respectfully in my own, " permit me to say, as Dr.
Johnson did to ilannali Alore, upon meeting her for
the first time,'I  understand that you are engagedl
in the useftl and honorable oeeul)atioi, oJf instructing
yon,g ladies,'-if it were possible more thoroughly
to forget the brevity of our acquaintance, than I have
already done, this would have deepened my respect
and interest for you!   Pardon  nme, if I take too
great a liberty.  You have, from thie commencement 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
of our acquaintance, permitted me the privileges of
an octogenarian " —
"And  of a gentleman  of the o7c  8chtool0!" she
adldedcl, with great vivacity, and with the m_ost bewitching smile.
" Eef, re I leave you, my  dear bIiss Peters, will
vou allow me to make a prophecy?,"
"If y-ou are a prophet of  ood(, sir
Can you doubt it, \wh-en your future fate is the
subject?"
"Indeed, sir, I shall have great faith in your
auguries!" returned my fair neighbor, bestowing the
twin of her first smile upon me.
" AVell, then, my dear, it is my solemnn conviction
that you have not yet learned all you will one day
kInow of the depth of the impression you have left
upon the heart of -Ir. Benton," I answered, with a
gravity that I intended should tell.
" AIr. Benton! so that's his namie?" laughed MIrs.
Y, gaily. "Julia pretended  not to know  his
name!  I thoiught it was a conquest!  I have not
yet had an opportunity of looking out the' languayge'
of a very large, full blown carnation pink!"
"No doubt," interrupted 3Ir. Y, "it is p-recisely the opposite of lentonjuiee!"
13etween laughing and blushing, the fair subject
of this badinage made but a fainlt show of resistance;
but, at this juncture, she manag,ed to say, as she
turned to me, with a most courteous bow.
"I very much question  lwhether the sentiments
expressed by any flower can more readily touch tle
399 
400      TIIE AMIERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
heart, than that I have known conveyed by a tea.
.pooTful of brandy!"
"Bravo!" cried  hrr. Y
"Well done, Julc!" echoed my hostess.
And I!-nmy feelings were too deep for words!  I
could only lay my hand upon my heart, and raise
my eyes to the ceilinog.
Perhaps there is no better test of the unexceptionableness of a habit, than to suppose it generally
ac7opted, and cifer the consequences.  I remember
some such reflection, in connection with a little circumstance that once fell under my observation: —
D)ininrg withl a young Canadian, at his residence, in
Kingston, C. W., I met, among other persons, an
English notability, of whom I had firequently hleard
and read.  A slight pause in the cnuversation, mtade
doubly audible a loud yawn, proceeding from one
corner of the dining-room, and, as a general look of
surprise was visible, a huge Newfoundland dog approached us, stretching his limbs, and shaking friom
his shaggy coat anything but
"Sabean odors, from the spicy shores
Of Araby the Blest!"
Our host endeavored to say somethillng polite, and
the animal, advancing toward the celebrity, stationed
himself, familiarly, at his master's side, somewhat to
the annoyance, probably, of the lady next him. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
With the utmost sanqgfroid, the "privileged character" held his finger-bowl to his dog, and remarked,
as he eagerly lapped the contents, that he had eaten
highly-seasoned venison at lunlch!
"Foreigners," says Aiadame de Stael, "are a kind
of contemporaneous posterity." This truth apart, I
had sufficient reason to blush for my country, on
more than one occasion, lately, while travelling at
the West, in company with a well-bred young European. His own manners were so pleasing as tc
render more striking the peculiarities of others, and
his habits so refined, as, when united with his large
observation and intelligence, to make himn an exceedingly agreeable person to associate with.
One hot day, during a portion of our journey, performed by steamer, I looked up firom my book, and
saw him coming toward me.
"I have found a cool place, sir," said he, "and
have come to beg you to join ine —we shall be undisturbed there."
I rose, and was about to take up my seat.
"Allow me, sir! I am the younger," said he; and
hlie insisted upon carrying my seat, as well as the one
hlie had previously secured for himself. And this
was his lhab)itual phrase, when there was any occasion to allude to the difierence in our years. I-e
never said-" You are older than I am," or insinu
ated that my lameness made me less active than he.
when he offered his arm, in our numerous promo
401 
102     THE AMEiRICAN GENTLEIMAN S GUIDE
Aades. The idea he seemed ever studying to express
wNas, that hle had pleasure in the society of the old
soldier, and thiought him entitled to respect and precedence on all occasions.  Aside from the personal
gratification and comfort I derived from these graceful and unremitting attentions, it was a sourc e of
perpetual pleasure to ime to observe his beautiful
courtesy to all with whlom lie came in contact.  I-Ie
had withl him a land surveyor, or agenit of some sort;
with this person hle, apparently, found little in comnmon, but, when he had occasion to converse with
him, I always remarked his punctilious politeness.
And so with his servant; he always requested, never
or2,dere& him to do what he wished.  RIeserved and
laconic, when giving him directions, there was yet
a certain asuring kindliness in his voice, that seemed
to act lilke a talisman upon his man, who, speaking
our language very imperfectly, would have often suffered the consequences of embarrassing mistakes,
but for the clear, simple, intelligible directions, and
explanations of his master.  But to return.
Scarcely were we seated quietly in the retired
spot so carefully selected by my  friend, when  a
couple of young fellows came swaggering along, and,
stationing themselves near us, began smoking, spitting, and talking so loudly, as to disturb and annoy
us, exceedingly.
" What a pity that this fine air should be so poisoned!" exclaimed my companion, in French, glancimg at the intruders.  "For my part, pure air is good
enough for me, without perfume!" 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
"Do you never smoke?" I asked, in the same
tongue.
"Certainly! but I do not smoke azlways and everyqv,ere!  Aeither do I think it decent to soil everyy
place with toblacco-jtice, as you do in this country!"
"It is infahmous!" returned I. "' N,ow just look at
those fellows!  See hovw near they are to that group
of ladies, and then look at the condition of the deck
all around them." As I spoke, the lady nearest the
nuisance, apparently becoming suddenly aware of
her dangerous proximity, hurriedly gathered  her
dress closely about her, and moved as far away as
she could without separating herself from her party.
Despite these indications, the shower continued to
fall plentifully around, and the smoke to blow into
the faces of those who were so unfortunate as to be
seated in the neighborhood.
" lave you not regulations to prevent such annoyances," inquired the stranger.
" Everv steamer professes to have them, I believe,"
returned I, "but if such vulgar men as these choose
to violate them, no one even thinks of insisting upon
their enforcement-every one submits, and every
one is annoyed-that is, all decent people are!"
" Vive la Libcrte  et I'Egyal,te!" exclaimed the
European, laughing good-humoredly.
"As if echoing the mirth of my companion, a
merry laugh from the group of ladies near us, arrested my attention at this moment. Without appearing
to remark them, I soon ascertained that they were
amusing themselves wvitl the ridiculous figure pre,
r,ented by one of the smokers.  IHis associate had left
403
I-I 
404    THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUn)E
him " alone in his glory," and there he sat, fast asleep,
with his mouth wide open, his hat over one eye,
and his feet tucked across under the seat of his chair,
which supported only on its hind legs, was tilted
back against the side of the cabin. My description
can give you but a poor idea of the ludicrousness of
the tiling. One of those laughing girls would hlave
done it better! I overheard more than one of their
droll comments.
" What if his chair should upset, when he' catches
fish!'" exclaimed a pretty little girl, looking roguishly from under her shadowing round straw hat.
"There is more danger that that wasp will fly
down his throat," replied another of the gay bevy,
"W Vhat a yawning cavern it is! That wasp is hovermg, over the' crack of doom!'"
Heie reminds me rather of Daniel in the lion's
den," put in a third.
"Let's move our seats before hlie wakes up," cried
one of the girls, as the nondescript made a slight
demonstration upon a fly thlt had invaded his repose.
" Ile is protected by the barricade he has surrounded himself with-like a upas-tree in the centre of
its own vile atmosphere —but we, unwary travellers,
are not equtally safe!"
A day or two afterwards, these very yeiang men
were just opposite me at table, in a hotel in one of
our large Western cities.
They were well dressed (with the exception of
co7ored shirts) and well-looking, enough, but, after
what I had previously seen of them, I was not surprised to observe their habits of eating.  One woul(t' 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
throw up both arms, and clasp his hands over his
head, while waiting for a re-supply of food; the
other stop, now and then, to lay of his bushy moustache, so as to make more room for the shovelling
process he kept up with his knife, for the more rapid
disappearance of a large goblet of water at one swallowing, or for the introduction of a mammoth ear of
corn, which he tookl both hands to hold, while he
gobbled up row after row, with inconceivable rapidity.   Then  one  would  manipulate  an enormous
drum-stick, while he lolled comfortable back in his
chair, grievously belaboring his voluminous beard,
the while, and leaving upon it an all-sufficient substitute for maccassar, and the other, simultaneously
make a loud demonstration with his pocket-handkerchief, or upon his head.   Now one would stretch out
Lhis legs under the table, until he essentially invaded
mny reserved rights, and then the other insert his
tongue first in one cheek, and then in the otlier, rol
A,ing it vigorously round, as a cannoneer would swab
out a great gun with his sponge, before re-loading!
Flushed, heated, steaming, the heaps of sweet-potato skins, bones, and bits of food profusely scattered
over the soiled cloth, fully attested the might of their
achievements!
Much of this, as I said, I was prepared for, but I
was somnewhat surprised by what followed.
I had sent for a quail, I think, or some other small
game, and was preparing to discuss its merits, when
one of these young men, reaching over, stuck his forlk
into the bird, and transferred it to his own plate!
405 
406   T1IIt AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
I saw at a glance that no offense was intended to
me-that the seeming rudeness was simply the result
of vulgarity and ignorance; so I very quietly directed
the servant to bring me another bird.
Scarcely was the second dish placed before me,
when the other youth of this delectable pair exactly
repeated the action of his companion, and I again
found myself minus my game.
"Jfon  _Dieu!" cried my young foreign friend, " if
you can endure that, you are a hero, sir!"
AnI hour or two subsequent to this agreeable incident, I wvas again seated in the cars, and hearing a
noise behind me, soon satisfied myself that my neighbors at dinner that day were to be my neighbors
still, and that they were at present busily employed
in disputing with the conductor respecting a seat
next their own, which they wished to monopl)olize for
the accommodation of their legs, and which, in colnsequence of the crowded state of the cars, the man
insisted upon filling with other passengers.  Presently there came in a pale, weary-looking woman,
with a wailing infant in her arms and another young
child clinging to her garments. She found a seat
where she could, and sinking into it, disposed of a
large basket she had also carried, and commenced
trying to pacify the baby.
Here was a fit subject for the rude jests and jibes
of the young fellows I have described. And full use
did they make of their vulgar license of tongue.
The poor mother grew more and more distressed as
those unfeeling comments reached her ears front 
TO POLITENESS AND FASIIION.
time to time, and at eachl outbreak from the infant
strove more nervously to pacify it.
I observed that a good-humored looking, large,
handsome man, who sat a little before this woman,
firequently glanced round at the child, and sought to
divert its attention by various little playful imotions.
At length, when the cars stopped for a few minutes,
out he sallied, in all haste, and presently returned
with his hands full of fruits and cakes.  Offering  a
liberal share of these to the woman and her little
girl, after distributing some to his party, he reserved
a bright red apple, and said cheerily to the mother:
"Let me take your little boy, ma'am, I think I can
quiet him."
The little urchin set up a loud scream, as he found
hinmself in the strong grasp of the stranger; but, a
few moments' perseverance effected his benevolent
purpose.  Tossiug thie boy up, directing his attenltion to the apple, and then carrying him thlrougli the
empty car a turn or two, sufficed to chase away the
clouds and showers from what proved to be a bright,
pretty face, and very soon the amiable gentleman
returned to his scat, saying very quietly to the woman, as hlie passed her, "We will keep your little
child awhile, and take good care of him." The baby
was healthly-looking, and its clothes, though plain,
were entirely clean-so the poor thing was by no
means a disagreeable plaything for the young lady
beside whomn the gentleman was seated.  For some
little time they amused themselves in this humane
manner, and then the young man gently snugged the
407 
408     THiE AMNIERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
weary  creature down upon  his broad chest, and
there it lay asleep, like a flower on a rock, nestled
under a shawl, and firmly supported by the enfolding
arm that seemed unconscious of its light burden.
Meantime the pale, tired mother regaled herself
with the refreshments so bountifully provided for
her, watching the movements of the little group before her with evident satisfaction; and at length
settled herself for a nap in the corner of her seat,
with the other child asleep in her lap.
The uoisv comments of the " fast" young men in
the rear of the car became less audible and offensivr%
I noticed, after the stranger came to the rescue, and
when I passed their seat, afterwards, I could not be
surprised at their comparative silence, upon beholding the enormous quantity of pea-nut shells and fruit
skins witlh which the floor was strewn, and noticing
the industry with which they were squirting tobacco
juice over the whole.
By-and-by thle cars  made another pause.   The
mother of the little boy roused herself and looked
hastily round for her treasures.   Upon this  the
young lady who occupied the seat with her new
friend came to her and seemed reassuring her. As
soon as the thronging crowd had passed out, I heard
her saying, as I caught a peep at the sweetest face,
bent smilingly towards the woman-'-" I made a nice
little bed for him, as soon as the next seat was empty,
and he is still fast asleep.  Does he like milk?  hIr.
Grant will get some when he wakes- it is so unl)leasant for a lady to get out of the cars."  (Htere the 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
woman seemed to makle some explanation, and a
shadow of sympathy passed over the smiling face I
was admiring, as one sees a passing cloud move
above a sunny  landscape.)   "Well,  we will be
glad to be of use to you, as far as we go on," pursued the fair girl; "I will find out all about it, and
tell you before we leave the cars.  Now, just rest
all you can-let me  put this shawvl  up a little
higher-there! It is such a relief to get off one's
bonllet! I'll put it up for you.  The little girl had
b)etter come with me.-Oh, no, she will not, I am
sure! What's your name, dear?  MIary! that's the
)pretiest namne in the w-erld! everybody loves AIary!
I have such a pretty book to show you"-and hlavTug tucked up the object of her gentle care in quite
a cosy mainer, while she was saying this, the good
girl gave a pretty, encouragin, little nod to the
-womanl, and went back, taking the other juvenile
w-ith her, to her own place.  When her companion
joined her, she looked up in his face with a beamimig, triumphant sort of a smile, and, receiving a
response in the same expressive language, all seemed
quite understood between them.
"What an angel!"' exclaimed the young European, in his favorite tongue, as he re-entered the
car, and caught part of this little by-scene  "Do
you kLnow what slhe said to that poor woman?"
I gave him  all the explanation in my power.
IHis fine eyes kindled.  "She is as good as she is
beautiful!  Have you remarked the magnificent
head of the gentleman with her?  What a superb
18
409 
410     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
profile he has-so classic!  And his broad chestthere's a model for a bust!I happened to be in tli
studio of your celebrated countryman, Powers, at
Florence, with my father, who was sitting to him,
when  the great Thorwaldsen  came to visit him.
Boy, as I was, at that time, I remember his words,
as lie stood before the bust of your Webster:'I cantut i2cake 8suc  busts!'  But was it not, sir, because
he had no such mtocles as your country affords?"
These were courteous words; but I do them poor
justice in the record; I cannot express the voice
and mananer from which they received their charm.
Well, at the risk of tiring yoi, I hasten to con
elude my little sketch.  I amused myself by quietly
watcling the thing through, and noticed, towards
evening, that the amiable strangers went together to
the woman they had befriended, after the gentlenman
had been into the hotel, before which  we  were
standing, seemingly to make some inquiry for her.
3oth talked for a few minutes, apparently  very
kindly, to her and to the children, and seemed to
encourag,e her by some assurance as tlhey parted.
As they were tiurning away, the grateful mother
rose, and, snatching the hand first of one, and
then of the other, burst out, with  a " God bless
you both!" so fervent as to be audible where I sat.
" Don't speak of such a trifle!" returned the
youth, in a clear, distinct voice, raising his noble
formn to its full hleight, and flashing forth the light of
his falcon eye; "for my part, I am very glad to be
able to do a little good, as I go along in the world I'" 
TO POLITENES. AND FASHION.
In a few moments the handsome stranger was seen
carefully placing his fair travelling companion in an
elegant carriage, where a lady was awaiting them,
and upon which several trunks were already strapped. WThile cordial greetings were still in progress
betwcen the trio, a well-dressed servant gave the
reins to a superb pair of dark bays, and in another
instant they were flying along in the direction of a
stately-looking, mansion of which I caught sight in
the distance.
" Who the d      is that fellow?" shouted one of
the duo in the rear.  " I say, porter," stretching his
body far out of the car window, and beckoning to a
man on the steps of the neighboring building,
" What's the name of those folks in that carriage?
dev'lish pretty girl, I swear!"
"Sir-r-r?" answered Paddy, coming to the side
of the car, and pulling his dirty cap on one side
of his head with one hand, while he operated upon
his  carroty hair with  the fingers of the other;
"w hat's yer honor's plaizure?"
"I say, what's the name of that gentleman who
has just gone off in that carriage there?"
01!  sure that's young Gineral Grant; him that
owns the fine house beyant-I hear tell he's the new
Congriessmian, sir!"
' ie)/!" whispered my foreign friend, laughing
lieartily, " this is a great country! you do things
upon so large a scale here, that one must not
wonder vwhen extrecmes meet!"
411 
412     TIlE AMERICAN GFITLEMAN'S GUIDE
" What, coz, still sitting with your things on,
waiting? Haven't you been impatient?"
" Oh, no, not at all, I've been reading."
"Well, but, do you know it's twelve o'clock? We
were to start at half-past ten. What did you think
of nme for delaying, so long?"
" I was afraid some accident had happened; but I
could see notling, from the window, and I did not
like to go out on the portico alone."
"'Theni youl did not think nme careless, and were
not vexed?"
" Not I, indeed! I was sure you would come if
you could, and was only anxious about you, as you
were to try that new horse.  I did not take off imy
bonnet, because I kept expecting you every momnent."
"And I kept expecting to come every momentthat devilish animal!  I tried to send you word, but
I could not get sight of a servant-confound the fellows! they are always out of the way when one
wants them."
'" But, Charley, dear, what about the horse i Has
he really troubled you?  I am sorry you bought
.himn.'
"h01, I've conquered him! it wouldn't have taken
nme so long before I had that devilish fever! But,
come, cozzy dear, will you go now, or is your pa
tience all gone?"
" I would like the drive-but, Charley, had we not
better put it off until to-morrow morning? You 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
must be tired out, and, perhaps, the horse will continue to trouble you."
" No, no-come, come along, if you are willing to
go."
Now, Charley and his cousin were together at a
little rural watering-place, in search of change of air
and scene.  Charley had been recently ill, and, as
he chanced to be separated from his family at the time,
was particularly fortunate in having had the gentle
ministrations of Belle, as he usually called her, at
command, during his convalescence.
Belle was an orphan, without brothers, and she
clung to Charley with the tenacity of a loving
heart, deprived of its natural resources. Temporarily
relieved from her duties as a teacher, her cousin
invited her to accompany him in this little tour, in
pity for the languor that was betrayed by her drooping eyes, and lagging step; and his kindly nurse,
flattering herself that her " occupation" was not yet
quite " gone,'" was only too happy to escape from her
city prison, under such safe and agreeable protectionl. Yielding and quiet, as she ordinarily was,
Belle had very strict notions of propriety on some
points.  So, when she and her cousin were making their final arrangements, before commencing
their journey, she laid upon the table before him, a
bank-note of considerable amount, with the request
that he would appropriate it to the payment of her
travelling expenses.
"' Time enough for that, by-and-by, coz."
"'No, if you please, Charley.  It is enough that
4.L3 
4:14    THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
you will be burdened by the care of me, without
lavin- yyour purse taxed, too.  Just be so good as
to keep a little account of what you pay for meremembering porterage, carriage-hire, and such matters-ladies always have thie most luggage."  And a
little hand playfully smoothed the doubled paper
upon the cuff of Charley's coat-sleeve, and left it
lying there,
Her cousin very well knew that this bank-note
comprised a large portion of Belle's quarterly salary,
though she made no allusion to the matter; and,
thlough his own resources were moderate, men  so
mulch more easily acquire money than women-well,
never mind! people differ in their ideas of luxury.
Charley had some new experiences in this little
tour of his and Belle's.  ie had an idea, previously,
that" women are always a bother, in travelling," and
hlie found himself sorely puzzled to make out, exactly,
what trouble it was to have his cousin always ready
to read to him, when they sat together on the deck
of a steamer, or while he lay on the sofa at a hotel,
to claim the comfortable seat at her side in a railcar, to have her keep his cane and book, while he
went out to chat with an acquaintance, watch when
hlie grew drowsy, and softly gather his shawl about
his neck, and make a pillow of her own for him, or
to see the tear that sometimes gathered in her meek
eyes, when she acknowleded any little courtesy on
his part. Then, when, after they were settled in
their snug quarters, at the watering-place, Belle,
half-timidly, sat a moment on his knee, and, looking 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
proudly round upon thei order she had brought out
of chlaos, among his toilet articles, books, and clothes,
said-" Oh, what a happy week I have to thank you
for, dear cousin Charley!  You have done so many,
mnanv kind things for me, all the way!  I have had
to travel alone almost always since pa's-since "-he
was really quite at a loss to know what" kind things"
shie referred to, and said so.
" Why, Charley!" returned she, making a vigorous effort to get over the choking feeling that had
suddenly assailed her, upon alluding to her deceased
father, "don't you know-no, you don't know, what
a happiness it is to a poor, lonely thing, like me, to
have some one to take care of her luggage, and pay
her fare, and all those things?  I know, in this
country, women can travel alone, safely-quite so;
but it isn't pleasant, for all that, to go into crowds
of roulgh men, without any one.  The other evening,
at N,ew Haven, for instance, it was quite dark, when
we landed, and those hackinen made such a noise,
and crowded so —but I felt just as safe, and comfortable, while sitting, waiting for you, in the carriage,
all the while you were gone back about our trunks!
Oh, you can't realize it, Charley, dear!" and the fair
speaker shook her head, with a mournful earnestness,
that expressed almost as much sober truthfulness, as
appealing femininity.
But about this morning drive.
With the trusting confidence for which her sex
have such an infinite capacity, Belle yielded at once
to the implied wish of her temporary protector, and(
415 
416     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
th-y were soon rolling along, in a light, open car
riage, through deeply-shadowing woods and across
little brooklIets which were mierrily disporting themselves uniider the trees.
The poor wild-wood bird, so long caged, yet ever
longing to be free, carolled and mused by turns, or
permitted her joyous nature to gush out in exclamiations of delight.
"' What delicious air!" she exlaimed. "'Really it
exhilarates one, like a cordial.  Oh, Charley, dear,
lookl at those flowers! 3lay I get out for them? Do
let me! I won't be gone a minute.   Just you sit
still, and hold your war-steed.  Don't be so ceremnonious as to alight; I need no assistance." And withl
a bound the happy creature wvas on her feet, and in
an instant dancing alonge,, to the music of her own
glad voice, over the soft grass.
Too considerate to encroach upon  his patience,
nuduly, Belle soon reseated herself beside Chariey,
with a lap fulll of floral treasures.
"Here  are  enough for bouquets  for both  our
rooms," said she; " how fresh and fragrant they are!
"' They have tales of the joyous woods to tell,
Of the free blue streams and the glowing sky.'
Bless God for flowers-and f2,iends!"
As the artless girl fervently uttered the last words,
she turned a pair of sweet blue eyes, into which
tears of gratitude and pleasure had suddenly started,
upon the face of her companion.  What a painful
revulsion of feeling was produced by that glance I 
TO POLITENESS ANI) FASHION.
She scarcely recognized the face of her cousin, so
completely had gloom and discontent usurped the
place of his usual hilarious expression. What could
be the matter? Had she offended him!
RPepressing, with quick tact, all manifestatious of
surprise, though her frame thrilled, as if from a
heavy blow, Belle was silent for a while, and then
said in a subdued tone that contrasted strangely with
her former bird-like glee-" Your horse goes nicely
now, Charley, doesn't he? You seem to have effectually conquered him; but I am sure you must be
tired, now, dear cousin, you have been out so long.
Hiad we not better return?"
" Wvhy, you have had no ride at all yet, Isabella,"
returned the young man, in a voice that was as startling to his sensitive auditor as his altered countenance had been.
" Oh, yes, I have," she quickly answered, endeavoring to speak as cheerfully as possible, "I have enjoyed nmyself so much that I ought to be quite contented to go back, and I really think we'd better
do so."
Charley's only response was turning his horse's
head homeward.  For a while they drove on in
silence, Belle's employment of arranging her flowers
now wholly mechanical, so engrossing was the
tumult in her heart.
Just as they came in sight of their hotel, the un
ruly animal that had already occasioned his new
owner so much trouble, stopped, and stood like
wooden effligy in the middle of the road.
18-x
417 
418'   THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
In vain did word and whip appeal to his locomotive powers. At length the pent-up wrath that had
apparently been gathering fury for the last hour
burst forth.
"Devilish brute!  I never was so shamefully imposed upon!  I wish to G-  I never had set foot in
this infernal hole! There's no company here fit for
a decent fellow to associate with. I shall die of
stupidity in a week-particularly if I have to drive
such a confounded concern as this!"l Here followed
a volley of mningled blows and curses.
The terrified witness of this scene sat tremblingly
silent, for a time, clingingto the side of the carriage,
as if to keep herself quiet. Presently she said:
'"Perhaps I'd better jump out and run to the
house, and send some one out to assist you."
"You may get out, if you choose," answered her
cousin, gruffly, "but I want no assistance about the
horse. I'll break every bone in his body, but I'll
conquer his devilish temper!"
After another pause, Belle said, "Well, Charley,
if you please, I will walk on. I am sorry you are so
annoyed," she added, timidly, carefully averting her
pale face from him; "but perhaps this is only a
phase, and he mnay never do so again."
Her companion broke into a loud, mocking laugh.
"W Vhat in thunder do you know about horses, Isabella?"
"Nothing, Charley-nothing in the world," returned his cousin, quickly, in the gentlest voice, " I
onlv " 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
"Ye-es!" drawled the angry youth, "I  knowsome women thinkl their'ready wit' will enable
them to talk upon any subject! Get up, now, you
rascal, will you "
Belle knew her weakness too well to trust herself
to speak, so, drawing her veil closely about her face,
and gathering up her shawl and her flowers, she stepped fi'oml the low carriage with assumed composure,
and, bowing slightly, walked towards the house.
AMeeting a servant, at the foot of the stairs, she
said, very quietly, " Air. Culningham will be here
in a few minutes withl his horse; I hope some one
will be ready to take him," and passed on. This
was all she dared to do, in aid of the exasperated
youth.
Once in her own room, it seemed but the workl of
a moment for the agitated girl to throw off her shawl
and bonnet, and transport some light refreshments
she had previously prepared, across the passage to
her cousin's room, to draw up his lounging chair to
the table, and with a few skillful touches to give that
air of comfort to the simply-furnished apartment
whichl it had been her daily pleasure to impart to it.
This self-imposed task achieved, she flew, like a
guilty intruder, to her own little asylum, and locking the door, flung herself upon the bed, burying
her face in the pillows.
But though her quick, convulsive sobs were stifled,
they shook her slight, sensitive form till it quivered
in every nerve, like a delicate exotic suddenly exg)osed to the blasts of a northern winter.
41,0
0 
420       TilE AMILEltICAN GENTLELMAN S GUIDE
By-and-by a sound roused her from this agony of
tears.
There is tile first dilinner-gong," said she, to her
self, starting up, " wvhat shall I do? Perhaps Chlar   ley won't like it if I don't go to dinner.  A3y head
aches dreadfully.  I don't min,d that so much, but
(looking in the glass) my face is so flushed.   I
wouldni't for the world  vex Charley,  I'm  sure."
AVith this she began somne lihasty toilet preparations
but her hands trembled so violently as to force her
to desist.
Wrapping, her shivering form ill her shiawl, sile
sat down on a low chair, and again gave way to emo   tions whichl gradually shaped themselves thus:
"I anm so sorrv I came withl Charley.  ie was never
a,yiutliig b)ut lkind till we came here.  And tien I
shou,ld have, at least, had nothling but pleasant things
to remembl)er.   But now-NI am  afrIaid Charley is
aslhamed of me; he looked at my dress so scrutiniz   ingly this inornigc, when le came to my door.  I
knowv I'm not the least fashionable; but:Irs. Tillou
is, and she complimented me on thiis ney'ige-it is
soiled now, and my pretty slippers, too, walkin,
back thlirough thle miliud!'Isabella!'  I-ow cold and
strange it sounded!  I ami so used to' cozzy dear,'
and have learned to love it so.  liy poor heart!"
t  pressing both hlands upon her side as if to still a
severe pang,.  Then shle rose, ad  creeping slowly
along the floor, swallowed some water, and seating,
herself at the table, drew writig materials towards
her. Steadying  her hand with gleat effort, and every 
TO POLITENESS AND  FASIItON.
moment pressing her handkerchief to her eyes, she
achieved the follow-ing note:
"i Having a little headache to-day, dear Chlarley, I
prefer not to dine, if you will excuse me.  I will be
quite ready to meet you in the parlor before tea.
" Ever yours,
" BELLE.
" Tuesd(lay  Ior)i~g#."
Designing to accompany this with some of the
flowers she now remembered, for the first time since
her return from her ill-starred morning excursion,
Belle hastily re-arranged the prettiest of them in a
little bouquet.  As she removed an already withered wild-rose fiom among its companions, a solitary
tear fell upon its shrivelled petals.  " Perhaps," slhe
murmured, mournfiiily, with a heavy sigh, " I should
have made another idol,-perhaps I siould soo00
have learnedl to love Cbarley too uetI, if this chlastening had not come upon me —could he have thought
so?," As she breathed this query, the small head was
suddenly thrown back, like that of a startled gazelle,
and a blush so vivid and burning as to pale the previous flush of agitation, flashed over check  and
brow.
Quicklly ringing the bell, and carefully concealing
herself from observation, behiind the door, when she
half-opened it, the servant who answered her summ1ons wvas requested to hand the note and flowers to
Mr. Cunninghaml, if he was iii his room, and if not,
421 
422     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
to place them where hlie would " be sure to see them
when le came up."
"When will I ever learn," said Belle, in a tone of
bittet self-reproach, as she re-locked the door, "not
to cling and trust,-not
" To make idols, and to find them clay!"
"I have not seen you looking so well since you
came here, Bliss Cunningham," said a gentleman to
Belle, joining her as she was entering the public parlor that evening. "Do allow me to felicitate you!
What a brilliant color!-You were driving this
morning, were you not?  No doubt you are indebted
to your cousin for the bright roses in your cheeks!'
And now, my dear young friends, let me only add,
in concluding this lengthened letter, that, had I
early acquired the habit of writing, you would,
doubtless, have less occasion to criticise these effusions-attempted, for your benefit, at too late a
period of life to enable me to render them what I
could nwish.  Use them as beacons, since they cannot
serve as moclels!
Adieu!
ItERIY LUNETES. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
LETTERt XI.
MIENTAL AND MIORAL EDUCATION.
MY DEAHR NTEPHEWS:
HAvING touched, in our preceding letters, upon matters relating to Physical Training,
3Ianner, and the lighter accomplishments that embellish existence, we come now to the inner life-to
the Education of the Blind and Heart, or Soul of
Aan12.
3[etaphiysicians would, I make no  doubt, find
ample occasion to cavil at the few observations 1
shall venture to offer you on these important subjects, and, painfully conscious of my total wanrt of skill
to treat them in detail, I will only attempt a few dessultory suggestions, intended rather to impress you
with the importance I attach to sef-cult,4re, than to
furnish Ayou wvith full directions regarding it.
The gonius of our National Institutions pre-supposes
the truth that education is within the power of all, and
that all are capable of availing themselves of its benefits. Education, in the highest, truest sense, does
not involve the necessity of an elaborate system of
scientific training, with an expenditure of time and
423 
:124      TIIE AMEtICAN GEiNTLIMAN'S GUTIDE
money entirely beyond the command of any but the
favored few w-lo make the exception, rather than the
rule, in relation to the race in general.
Happily for the Progress of Humanity, the
"will to do, the soul to dare," are never wholly
subject to the control of outer circumstance,  and
here, in our firee land, they are comparatively untrammeled.
" There are two powers of the human soul," says
one of our countrymnen, distinguished for a knowledge
of Intellectual Scicnce, "which make self-culture
possible, the se/f-seacing, and the sef-formniqg
power. We have, first, the faculty of turning the
mind on itself; of recalling its past, and watching its
present operations  of ]learning its various capacities
and susceptibilities; what it can do and bear; what
it can enjoy and suffer; and of thus learning, in general, what our nature is, and what it is made for.  It
is worthy of observation, that we are able to discern
not only what we already are, but what we may become, to see in ourselves germs and promises of a
g,rowth to which no bounds can be set; to dart
beyond what we have actually gained, to the idea of
perfection at the end of our being."
Assuming, that to be the most enlightened systemi
of education which tends most effectively to develop
all the faculties of our nature, it is impossible, practically, to separate moral and religious from intelleclectual discipline. If we possess the resvonsibility
as wvell as the capacity of self-training-that must be
a most imperfect system, one  most unjust to ouT
4 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
better selves, which cultivates the intellectual pow.
ers at the expense of those natural endowments,
without which, man were fitter companion for fiends
than for higher intelligences!
Pursued beyond a certain point, education, established upon this basis, may not facilitate the acquisition of wealth; and if this were the highest pursuit
to which it can be made subservient, effort, beyond
that point, were  useless.   But  if we regard the
acquirement of money, chiefly important as affording the essential means of gratifying the tastes, providinig for the necessities, and facilitating the eiercise
of the moral instincts of our being, we return, at
oncie, to our former position.
"Hfi, therefore, who does what he can to unfold
all his powters and cc( i ties, especially  is zobler
ones, so (s to become a well-pIroportioned, vigorot8s,
excellent,  (ctlp)y beiny, practies stf-culture."
Those of you who have enjoyed the advantages of
a regular course of intellectual training, will need no
suggestion of mine to aid you in mental discipline;
but possibly a few hints on this point may  not be
wholly useless to others.
The general dissemination of literature, in forms
so cheap- as to be within the reach of all, renders
Treadin  a natural resource for purposes of amusement
as well as instruction.  But they who  are still so
young as to make the acquisition of knowledge the
proper business of life, should never indulge them3elves in reading for mere amu8se,ment.  Never, there
*
425 
426     THlE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
fore, permit yourselves to pass over words or allusions, with the meaning of which you are unacquainted, in works you are perusing. Go at once to the
founltain-head —to  a  dictionary for  unintelligible
wiords, to an encyclopedia for general information, to
a classical authlority for mythological and other simnilar facts, etc., etc. You will not read as fast, by adoptimg this plan, but you will soon realize that you are,
nevertheless, advancing much more rapidly, in the
truest sense. WThen you have not works of reference
at command, adopt the practice of making brief
memoranda, as you go along, of such points as require elucidation, and avail yourself of the earliest
opportunity of seeking a solution of your doubts.
And do not, I beg of you, think this too laborious.
The best minds have been trained by such a course.
Depend  upon it, yenias is no equivalent for the
advantage ultimately derived from patient perseverance in such a course. I remember well, that to the
latest year of his life, my old friend, De Witt Clinton,
one of the noblest specimens of the race it has been
my fortune to know, would spring up, like a boy,
despite his stiff knee, when any point of doubt arose,
in conversation, upon literary or scientific subjects,
and hasten to select a book containing the desired
information, from a little cabinet adjoining his usual
reception-room.  His was a genuine love of learnin~
for its own sake; and the toil and turmoil of politi
cal life never extinguished his early passion, no!
deprived him of a taste for its indulgence.
m 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
3ioralists have always questioned the wisdom of
indulging a taste for fictitious literature, even when
time has streng,tlened habit and princiTple into fixedness.  The license of thie age in which we live, relndeis futile the elaborate discussion of this question
of ethics.  But, while permitting yourselves the occasi,)lal perusal of wvorks of poetry and fiction, do
not so far indulge this taste as to stimulate a disrelisli
for more instructive reading.  And, above  all, do
not permit yourselves to acquire an inclination for
the unwholesome stimulus of licentiousness, in this
respect.   Every  man  of the world should know
something of the belle-letter literature of his own
languag,e, at least, and, as a rule, the more the better; but,
"Where ignorance is bliss,'tis folly to be wise;"
and the vile translations from profligate foreign literature, which have, of late years, iunited with equally
immoral productions in our own, to foster a corrupt
popular taste, cannot be too carefully avoided by all
who would escape moral contagion.
You will find the practice of noting fine passages,
felicitous miodes of expression, novel thoughts, etc.,
as they occur even in lighter literary productions,
not unworthy of your attention. It will serve, collaterally, to assist in the formation of a pure style of
conversation and composition, a consideration of no
small importance for those whose future career will
demand facility in this regard.   Carlyle has somewhere remarked that, "our public men are all gono
427 
428     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
to tongue!" This peculiarity of the times, may, to
some extent, have grown out of its new and peculiar
social and political necessities. But, whether that
be so, or not, since such is the actual state of things,
let all new competitors for rublic distinction seek
every means of securing ready success.
While I would not, without reservation, condemn
the perusal of fictitious literature, I think you will
need no elaborate argument to convince you of the
superior importance of a thorough familiarity with
.i.story and general Science.
Let me, also, commend to your attention, wellchosen Bioyraphy, as affording peculiarly impressive
incentives to individual effort, and, often, a considerable amount of collateral and incidental information.
The Life of Johnson, by Boswell, for instance, which,
as far as I know, still retains its long-accorded place
at the very head of this class of composition (some
critic has recorded his wonder that the best biographly in our language should have been written by a
fool!) contains a world of information, respecting
the many celebrated contemporaries of that great
man, the peculiarities of social life, in England, at
his day, and the general characteristics of elegant
literature. So, of Lockhliart's Life of Scott, and other
records of literarv lifb. The lives of such men as
Shelley, and Coleridge, afford an impressive warning to the young-teaching, better than a professed
homily, how little talents, unguided by steadfastness
of purpose and principle, avail for usefulness and
happiness.  The examples of Lord Nelson, Ihoward, 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
!Iungo Park, Pobert Ihall, Franklin, and Washington, may well be studied, in detail, for the lessons
they impress upon all. And so, of many of the brave
and the good of our race-I but name such as passiingly occur to me.
Do not permit newspaper and magazine readingi
to engross too much of your time, lest you gradually
fall into a sort of mental disi88pation, which will unfit you for more methodical literary pursuits.
A cultivated taste in Literature and Art, as, indeed,
ill relation to all the embellishments and enjoyments
of life, is, properly, one of the indications, if not the
legitimate result, of thlorough mental education. But,
-while you seek, by every means within your control,
to enlarge the sphere of your perceptions, and to
elevate your standard of intellectual pleasures, carefully avoid all semblance of conscious superiority,
all dilettatiti pretension, all needless technicalities
of artistic language.  IPemiember that modesty is always the accompaniment of true merit, and that the
smattering of knowledge, which the condition of Art,
in our infant,epiublic, alone enables its most devoted disciples to acquire, ill justifies display and
pretension, in this respect. So, with regard to matters of literary criticism-enjoy your own opinions,
and seek to base them upon the true principles of
art; but do not inflict crudities and platitudes upon
others, under the impression that, because of recent
acquisition to a tyro in years, and in learning, they
are likely to strike mature minds with the charm of
novelty!  Thus,  too, with scientific  lore. If  Sii
429 
430-    THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
Isaac Newton only gathered "pebbles on the shore"
of the limitless ocean of knowledge, we may well
believe that
-"Wisdom is a pearl, with most success
Sought in still water."
Let me add, while we are, incidentally, upon this
matter of personal pretension, that to observing persons such a manner often indicates internal distrust of
one's just claims to one's social position, while, on the
contrary, quiet self-possession, ease and simplicity, are
equally expressive of self-respect and of an entire ceitainty of the tacit admission of one's rights by others.
Nothing is more underbred than the habit of taking
offense, or fancying one's self slighted, on all occasions.  It betokens either intense egotism, or, as I
have said, distrust of your rzigtfkul postion -that
you are embittered by struggling with the worldneither of which suppositions should be betrayed by
the bearing of a manl  of the world.  AMaintain outward serenity, let the torrent rage as it may within,
and never allow thie tvoricd to know its power  to
qwouncd you throug/l  your undue sensittiveness!
Well has the poet asserted that
"Truth's a discovery made by travelled mindsi."
N7o one who can secure the advantage of seeing life
anid manners in every varying phase, should fail to
add this to the other branches of a polite education.
Do not imbibe the impression, however, that merely
going abroad is travelling, in the just sense of the
term. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION,
"Oft has it been my lot to mark,
A proud, conceited, talking spark,
Returning from his finished tour,
Grown ten times perter than before.
Whatever word you chance to drop,
The travelled fool your mouth will stop:
'Sir, if my judgment you'll allow,
i've seen, and sure I ought to know!'
So begs you'll pay a due submission,
And acquiesce in his decision."
Send a fool to visit other countries, and he will
return-only a " travelled fool!" But give a rightlyconstituted man opportunities for thus enriching Ed
expanding his intellectual powers, and he returns to
his native land, especially if he be an American, a
better citizen, a more enlightened, discriminating
companion and friend, and a more liberal, useful,
catholic Christian!
Some knowledge of modern languages, especially
of the French, has now become an essential part of
education. The value of this acquisition, even for
/e)?i/e 7Cse, can scarcely be over-estimated, and without a familiarity with colloquial French, a man can
lhardly hope to pass muster abroad.  I will, however,
hazard the general observation that, as a rule, it is
better to acquire a thiorough knowledye (f one langie~cge (and of French, pre-eminently, for practical
availability) than a slight acquaintance with several.
Few persons, comparatively, in our active, busy
land, have leisure, at any period of life, for familiarizing themselves with the literature of more than
:ne language, besides their own, and to possess the
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432     TIHE AIMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
mere nomenclature of a foreign tongue is but to
have thte key to information. There is, of late, a
fashion in this matter, which has little else to recoinmenid it than that it i8 the fashion; and with persons of sense and intelligence there should be some
more powerful and satisfactory motive for the devotion of any considerable portion of "' Time, ncatures
Stock."
A2)ro)oos of this, nothing is more likely to teach a
tine estimate of the vca7le of tBme than that perfection
of education pronounced by the philosopher of old
to be the knowledge that we  k,ow i,ottin2,!  In
other words, they only, who in some sort discern, by
the light of education, the vast field that lies unexploried before them, can have any adequate conception of the care and discrimination with which they
should use that treasure of whiclh alone it is' a virtue
to be coveto?s.'
Nothing, perhaps, more  unmistakably indicates
successfill self-cullture than the habitual exhibition
of Tact. It may almost be called another sense,
g,rowing out of the proper training of the several
faculties of body and mind. And though there is a
vast natural difference between persons of similar outward circumstances, in this respect, much may be
effected by attention and practice, in the acquisition
of this invaluable possession. Like self-possession, tact
is one of the essential, distinctive characteristics of
good-breeding-the legitimate expression of natural
refinement, quick perceptions and kindly sympathies.
Cultivate it, then, my  young friends, in common 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
with every elegant embellishment of the true gentleman! Do not confound it withl  dissimulation or
hypocrisy, nor yet reg,ard it as the antagonist of
truthfullness, self-respect and manly dignity.   On
the contrary, it is the best safeguard of courtesy, as
well as of sensibility.
Amnong useful methods of self-discipline, let me
instance the benefit resulting from the early adoption of a code ofpiivate mora7ity, if you will permit
me to coil a phrase, composed of rules and maxiims
adclapted to your own personal needs and peculiarities of position and mental constitution. Washington, I remember, adopted this practice, and [Ir.
Sparks, or some one of his biographers, has preserved
the record from oblivion. It is many years since
I came across these rules, and I can no longer recall
mnore than the fixed, though general, impression that
they embodied much practical wvisdom and clearly
udicated the patient spirit of self-improvement for
w4hich the author was remarkable.   I commend
them t'o vou as a model.  Perhaps the immortal
biographer;lho is now giving the world a new life
of his great namesake, will afford you the means of
satisfying yourselves personaily of the correctness of
myv impressions of them.
In preparing this code for yourselves, I can give
you no better guide thlan that afforded by the truth
expressively conveyed in the following lines:
"'uis wisely great to talk with ourpast hours,
To ask themn what report they bore to Heaven,
. wid how they might have borne miore weicomr, ews."
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433 
431     THE AMIERICAN GENTLEIMAN'S GUIDE
That is a -ery imperfect conception of education
which lilnits its significance to knowledge gained
froim boo.s.  iX profoutid acquaintance with literary
lore is often associated withl total ignorance of the
actual world, of the laws thlat govern  our moral
and intellectual being, and with an incapacity to
discern the Beautiful, the True, the Good.  They
only are educcated, who have acquired that self-knowledge andi seltf-discipline which  inspire  a  disinterested( love of our fellow-beipgs, a reverence for
Ti'tt/th-in the largest sense of the term-and the
2)ower (f h}bituallg exalting the tigher faculties over
the aiim)ctl ip)opensities of our nature.
It is only, therefore, when man unites moral discipline with intellectual culture, that he can be said to
be truly educated; and the most ambitious student
of books should always bear in mind the truth that
thefree p7ay of tlte iztellect is3promoted by the developnieut  of   eterd  perceptions,  and  that  mental
education, even, does not so mulch consist in lo'ding
the memory  withl facts, as in strengthen;iig  the
capacity for independent action-for judging, comparing, reflectin,g.
"The connection between moral and intelleetual
culture is often  overlooked,"  says  a  celebrated
ethical writer, "and the former sacrificed to the
latter. The exaltation of talent, as it is called, above
virtue and religion, is the curse of the age.  Ednca cation is now chiefly a stimulus to learning, and
thus may acquire power without the principles
wvhich alone make it a good.  Talent is worshipped, 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
but, if divorced firom rectitude, it will prove more
of a demon than a ged."
IIolcdiiig the opinion, then, that a fixed religious
belief is the legitimate result of a thorouli cultivation of the mental and moral endowments, and that
their united and co-equal development constitutes
education, yotu will permit me to impress upon your
attention the importance  of securing all the aid
afforded by the best lights8 vouchsafed to us, in the
search after Truth.  Conscience is a blind guLLide,
until assisted by discriminating teaching, and honest
persevering endeavors at self-enlightenment.   For
myself, my experience, in this respect, has afforded
me no assistance so reliable and efficient as that to
be gathered from the Life of Jesus 8 lrist, as recorded by his various biographers, and collected in the
New Testament.  I commend its study, renewedly,
to you, not in searchl of a substantiation of human
doctrines, not to determine the accuracy of particular creeds, but to possess yourself of simple, intelligible, practicable directions for the wise regulation
of your daily life, and those ceaseless efforts at selfadvancement which should be the highest purpose of
"A being breathing thoughtful breath,
A creature between life and death!"
Accustomed to the standard established by JIim
who said, " Be ye, therefore, perfect, even as I am
perfect," we will not be deterred from the steadfast
pursuit of right by the imperfect exhibitions, so fre
435 
i36     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
quently made, of its efficacy, in the lives of tlhe professed followers of the wonderful Nazarine.  Conscious of the difficulties, the temptations, and the
discomfitures, that wve ourselves encounter, we will
learn, not only to discriminate between the imperfections of the disciple and tlhe perfection of the
Master, but to exercise that charity toward others,
of which self-examination teaches us the need, in our
o\vn case. Thus, the Golden Prule, which so iniclusively epitomizes the nmo),a code of the Great Teacher,
will come to be our guide ill determining the path
of practical duty, and the course of self-culture, most
essential to the security of present happiness, and as
a preparative for that eternal state of existence, of
which this is but the embryo.
Thus, making God and conscience-which is the
voice of God speaking within us-the arbiter be -
tween our better nature and the impulses excited by
the grosser faculties, we shall be less tempted  by
outward influences, to lower the abstract standard
we originally establish, or to reconcile ourselves to
an imperfect conformity to its requisitions. Far less,
will we permit ourselves to indulge the delusion that
we are not, each of us, personally obligated, by our
moral responsibilities, to develop al th/e u)owers wit/,
whicfh wec are endowed, to their utmost capacity:
" They build too low who build below the skies!"
The most perfect of human beings was also the
mlost humble and self-sacrificing, so that they who
endeavor to follow his example will not only be de. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASIIION.
void of self-righteous assumiption, but actively devoted to the good of their fellow-creatures, and, like
Him, pityingly sensible of the wants and the woes
of humanity.
That reverence for the spiritual nature of man, as
a direct emanation from Deity, which all should
cherish, is, also, to be regarded as a part of judicious
self-culture.  Cultivate an habitual  recognition of
your celestial attributes, anud strive to elevate your
whole being into congenial association with the divinity within you:this do for the benefit of others,
"Be noble! and the nobleness that lies
In other mnen, sleeping, but never dead,
Will rise, in majesty, to meet thine own!"
W7ith so exalted an aim as I have proposed for
your adoption, you will be slow to tolerate peccdilloes, as of little moment, either in a metaphysical or
ethical point of view. Dread such tolerance, as sapping the foundations of principle; learn to detect the
insidious poison, lurking in Burke's celebrated aphorism, and in the infidel philosophy that assumes the
brightest semblances that genius can invent, the more
readily to deceive. Establish fixed principles of
benevolence, justice, truthfulness, religious belief,
and adhere steadfastly to them, despite the allurements of the world, the temptings of ambition, or
weariness of self-conflict.
The Pursiit of Haxppiness is but concentrated
phraseology, for the purposes and endeavors of every
human being. May you early learn to distinguish
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438     THE AMERICIAN GENTLEMANIS GUIDE
between tie false and the true, between _pleasure and
/cq}i eis, early know your duty to yourselves, your
country, and your God!
I will but add to these crude, but heart-engendered,
observations, a few lines, embodying my own sentiments, and in a formn muchl more impressive than I
can command:
"We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths;
Ill feelings, not in figures on a dial.
WNVe should count time by heart-throbs.  Jie mnost lives
lt7eo tliil:s most, feels the Moblest, acts the best."
I have somewhere met with a little bagatelle,
somewhat like this:  Apollo, the god of  love, of music, and of eloquence, weary of the changeless brilliancy of Olympus, determined to descend to earth, and to secure
maintenance and fame, in the guise of a mortal, by
(utihorishi.  Accordingly, the incognito divinity established himself in an attic, after the usual fashion
of the sons of genius, and commenced inditing a
poem-a long epic poerm, plying his pen with the patient industry inspired by necessity, the best stimulus of human effort.  At length, the task of the god
completed, lie, with great difficulty, procured tlhe
means of offering it to the world in printed form.
The Epic of Apollo, the god of Poetry, fell, pre.
doomned, from, the press.  No commendatory review
had been secured, no fashionable publisher endorsed 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
its merits. Disgutsted with the pursuit of thle wealth
and honIors of earth, Apollo returned to Olympus,
bequeatlinug to mortals, this advice:-" TVould you
secutre ea,rt?-y celeb<rity and rices, do not attenpt intellectualZ and moral culture, but INVENT X PILL!"
Instances of the successful ptUtsuit of knowledge
tinder diffculties frequently present themselves in
our contemporaneous history, both in our own country, and in foreign lands. Indeed, the history of the
human mind goes far toward proving that, not the
pampered scions of rank and luxury, but the hardy
sons of poverty and toil, have been, most frequently,
the benefactors of the race. Well has the poet said:
"The busy world shoves angrily aside
The man who stands with arms a-kimbo set,
Until occasion tell him what to do;
And he who waits to have his task marked out,
Shall die, and leave his errand unfulfilled."
Tile Lecirned Blacksmith, as he is popularly called,
acquired thirty, or more, different languages, while
daily working at his laborious trade. Itie was accustomed to study while taking his meals, and to have
an open book placed upon the anvil, while he
worked.  A celebrated physiological writer, alluding
to the habits of this persevering devotee of philology,
says, that nothing but his uninterrupted practice of
his Vulcan-tasks preserved his health under the vast
amount of mental labor he imposed upon himself,
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440      TiHE AIERICAN GENTLEIMAN S GUIDE
Anotlier of our distiinguished countrymen, now  a
)proIninent  )popular orator, is said to have  accumlulated food for future usefulness, while devoting the
energies of the outer mani to the employment of a
wcelo zlea, amidi  thle g(,rad scenic influences of the
miajestic Allegolhanics.  The early life of Franklin, of
thle " Alill-boy of the Slashes," of Webster, and of
many others whose names have become watlchwords
amoni g us, are, doubtless, familiar to you, as examples
in this respect.
Loolkinig upon the busy active worild around me,as I sometimes like to do-from behind the screen of
my newspaper, seated in the reading-room of a hotel,
I becace the auditor of the following conversation,
between two young men, who w-ere stationed near a
window, watching the passing throng of a crowded
thloroughlfare.
" By George! there's Van I," exclaimed one,
wvithl unusual animation.
"Whichl  one, —where 9" eagerly interrogated his
companion.
'"That's he, this side, with the Byronic nose, and
short steps-hle's great!  What  a fellow he is for
making money, though!"
"Does it by his talents, don't lie?-nobody like
him, in the Bar of this State, for genius,-Utlat's a
fact-carries everything through  by the force of
ev'lish clever, no doubt,"  assented theoter
"!Oev'lish clever, no doubt," assented the other. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHIION.
"but he used to study, I tell you, like a hero, when
he was younger."
'ever heard that of him," answered the other
youth, "how the deuce could he?  He has always
been a 7ian  abo?t town-real fashionable fellowpractised always, since he was admitted, and everybody knows no one dines out, and goes to parties
with more of a rush than Van I, and he always
has."
"That may all be, but my mother, who has. known
him well for years, was telling me, the other day,
that those who were most charmed withl his wit, and
belle-letter scholarship, whenli he first came upon the
tal)i8, little knew the pains he took to accomplish
himself.'lie exhibited   e  eZt, o  the r e alt oitteWy,' she said, but he did study, and study hard,
when  the young fellows were asleep, or raising
Ii!- "
As for that," interrupted the other, "he always
did his full share of all the deviltry going, or I am
shrewdly mistaken!"
" Nobody surpasses him at that, any more than at
his regular trade," laughed his companion-" oh, but
he's rich! Jim Williams was telling me (Jinm studies
with S      and Van KA.   ) how he put down old
S     the other day.  It seems S       had beenlaid
on the shelf with a tooth-ache-dev'lish bad-face
all swelled up-old fellow real sickl, and no mistake.
Well, one morning, after he'd been gone several
days, he managed to pull up, and make his appearance at the office.  It was early-no one there but
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441 
442     THlE AMERICAN GENTLEMIAN S GUIDE
Van I; — and the boys- Jim and the rest of the fellows-tearing away at the books and papers. So old
S      dropped down in an arm-chair by the stove,
and began a hifalutin description of his sorrows and
sufferings while he had been sick-quite in the'pile
on the agony' style! Well, just as the old boy got
fairly wvarimed up, and was going it simoothly, Van
K.     bawled out:-' Y-a-s!  Air. S —! will you
have time, this morning, to look over these papers,
in the case of Smith against Brown?' Jim said he
never saw an old rip so cut down in all his life, and,
as soon as he went out, there was a general bust up,
at his expense!"
"How confounded heartless!" exclaimed the elder
youthl, rising-" by Heaven, I hope a man needn't
set aside the common sympathies and decencies of
humanity, to secure success in his profession, or in
society!" and as he passed me, I caught the flush of
manly indignation that mantled his beardless cheek,
and the lightning-flash of youthful genius that
enkindled his large blue eyes.
" What are you doing there, sir?" inquired one of
the early Presidents of our Republic, of his nephew,
who was standing before an open writing-desk, in his
private apartment.
" Only getting some paper and pencils, sir," replied the young man.
"That stationary, sir, belongs to the Federal Gov
ernment!" returned the American patriot, impres; 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
sively, and sternly, and resumed his previous occupation.
Daniel Webster, in conversation with a familiar
friend, said:
" Fromi the time that, at my mother's feet, or on my
father's knees, I first learned to lisp verses from the
Sacred Writings, they have been my daily study,
and vigilant contemplation. If there be anything in
my style or thoughts worthy to 4)be commended, the
credit is due to my kind parents, in instilling into
my early mind a love for the Scriptures."
"1 Hlow long, will it take you," inquired Napoleon,
of the young brother-in-law of Junot, "to acquaint
yourself with the Coptic language, and be prepared
to go to Eg,ypt on a secret service "
'Three  months,  sire,"  replied  the  energetic
Frenchman, with scarcely a perceptible pause for
consideration.
" Bier!" returned the great Captain, " begin at
once."  And he moved on in his briefly-interrupted
walk, through the salon of the beautiful mother of
the youth, saying to the Turkish Ambassador, wlo
accompanied his stroll:-" There is such a son as
onie might expect firom such a mother!"
Three months from that night there left the private cabinet of Napoleon, a stripling, of slight form,
and yet unsunned brow, charged by him who knew
be   y intuition, with a task of fearful risk and re
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441'rIlE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
sponsibility; and, on the morrow, he was embarked
on the blue wvaters of the Mediterranean, speeding
toward a land where, from the heights of the Pyramids, a thousand years wouldl behold his deeds!
"I swear, I'll cut that woman!   I'll never cal
there again, that I am  determined!" cried Paul
Duncan, impetuously.
"But why, brotl*r?  Don't judge too hastily,"
replied his sister, gently.  " The whole family have
alway-s been so kind to us; for my part, I think one
seldom meets persons of more polished  mananeil
and"
" Polished  manners!" interrupted  the irritable
mani, rudely, " what  lo you call })o7isbewc lr;)g,er,s?
I gave up R i     himself; just because hle is so deilish lun-polished, loing ago.  I-e passed nme, once or
twice, in Wall-street, with his head down, and didn't
even bow! after thlat I let himi run!"
"I-e is so engrossed in his philanthropic schemes
that, I suppose, lie really did not see you," interposed his sister, mildly.  " But the ladies are not
responsible for his peccadilloes."
"No, thlley cannot answer for their own, to vte,"
retorted the other, with bitterness.'" When I went
in, last evening,, she and her mother were both in
the room.  The old lady rose, civilly enough, but
MArs. R I   kept her seat, partly behind a table, even
when I went to her; and shook hands."
' Dear  brotlher,'  expostulated  his  compa~lio, 
TO POLITrrENESS AND FASHI()N.
" don't you know that Sirs. Pi    is not well?  She
has not been out in months;'
" What the devil, then, does she make her appearanice for, if she can't observe the common proprieties of life?"
"I doubt whether you would have seen lice, had
she not been in the room when you entered.  Did
she remain during the whole time of your call?"
"Certainly; but the old woman slipped out, whlen
some bustle appeared to be going on in the hall, and
never made her appearance again, at all, only sending
in a servant, just as I was going away, to say that she
'hoped to be excused, as her father had just arrived."
"lie is very aged, and she always attends upon
him herself, when he is there, even to combing his
hair," explained the gentler spirit.  " I remember
admiringi her devotion to the old man, who is very
peculiar, and somewhat disagreeable to persons generally, when I was staying there a day or two."
a- Well, well; what has that to do witli her treatment
of me.?  Couldn't she trust him with the rest of the
family for a few minutes?  There is a tribe of women
always on hand there, besides a retinue of servants."
"If you will permit me to say so, without offense,
Charley," returned the lady, with sudden determina
tion of manner, "I fear you did not display your
usual tact on the occasion, and that you, perhaps,
took offense at circumstances resulting firom the embarrassment of our friends, rather than from any intention to be impolite to you. Ladies are not always
equally well, equally self-possessed, equally in com
[7,
't
445 
446     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
pany-m-ood, or company-dress.  I don't know what
nmighlt not befall any of us, were we not judged of,
by our fliends rather by our general manner to
them, than by any little peculiarities, of which we
may be ourselves wholly unconscious at the time.'"
If you are as much impressed as I wAas, uponi first
perusing themn, with the following sentences from
Sir Htimplhrey D)avy's pen, you will require no
apology from me, for transcribing them here.
"1 envy no quality of mind or intellect in others
-not of genius, power, wit, or fancy; but, if I could
c    h     o     o     s    e what would be                   most delightful, and, I believe,
m       o       s        t         useful, to me, I should prefer  a yTnrm, 9eligious
belief, to every other blessing, for it makes life a discipline of goodness, creates new hope, when earthly
hopes vanish, and throws over the decay, the destruction, of existence, the most gorgeous of all light;
awaklens life, even in death, and, from decay, calls
up beauty and divinity; makes an instrument of
torture and shame the ladder of ascent to Paradise;
and, far above all combination of earthly hopes, calls
up  the most  delightfnl visions-palms  and  amarauths, the gardens of the blessed, the security of
everlasting joys, where the sensualist and the skep.
tic view only gloom, decay, and annihfilation."
Withl these sublime words, my  dear nephews, ]
bid you, affectionately,
p
Adieu!
I-IENRY LUNETTES. 
It POLITENESS AND FASHION.
LETTER XII.
CHOICE OF COMPANIONS AND) FRIENDS-SELECTIONI OF A
PURSUIT IN LIFE- COURTSHIP- MARRIAGE —H  OUSE  KEEPING-PECUNIARY IMATTERS) ETC.
AIY DEAR -NEPHEWS:
I THINIK it was Burke vllo said that those
wh-o desire to improve, should always choose, as
companions, persons of more knowledge and virtue
Mhan themselves. Hie had, however, the happy
faculty of eliciting informationr from all with whoml
hlie came in contact, even as the bee extracts sweetiess fi-om the most insignificant and unattractive
flower.  It is said of him, you. are aware, that he
never took refuge under a projecting eave for five
minutes, to escape a shower, with another mlan,
without either giving or receiving instruction.
Hiis excellent habit in this respect, nevertheless, in
no degree invalidated the practical wisdomn of the
remark I have ascribed to this celebrated statesman.
It is not easy to attach too much importance to the
cAoice of Companions and Friendes, especially during that period of life when we are most susceptible
to outward influences.
-luch enjoyment is derived from association with
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448      THE AMERICAN GEN'RLENIANS GUIDE
those Mwhose tastes, pursuits, and  senltiments  are
similar to our own; but, in making a selection in
this respect, it is better to seek the companionship
of persons whose influence will have thie effect to
elevate rather than to depress our own mental and
moral  standard.  Ihlence,  young persons will be
most improved by the example of those whose
greater maturity of years and acquirement give
them the advantage of experience.
Byron and others of the morbid school to which
he belonged, or rather, perhaps, which  he originated, strove to establish as a truth, the libellous
charge that humanity is incapable of true, disinte-.
rested  friendship.  Happily for the  dignity and
healthfulness of the youthful  mind, this affected
misanthropy,  having  had  its day, is  dying  the
natural death to which error is doomed, and we
are again permitted to respect our common nature
without wholly renouncing our claims to p)oetic
sensibility!
It seems, to my poor perceptions, that there needs
no better test of the capacities of our fellow-creatures, with regard to the nobler sentiments, than
our own se7f-consciosnes8!  If we know ourselves
capable of lofty aspirations, of self-sacrifice foir
others' good, of rejoicing in the happiness of our
frieinds, of deep, enduring affection for them, by
what arrogant right shall we assume ourselves
superior to the race to which we belong?
As the man who habitually rails at the gentler
sex must, necessarily, have been peculiarly unfortunate in his earliest associations with woman, so l1o 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
who professes a disbelief in true firiendship, may be
presumed, not only to have chosen his associates
unwisely,  but  to  be  himself  ill-constituted and
ill-disciplined. If
" VIRTUE is more than a shade or a sound,
And mnan mnay her voice, in this being, obey,"
then is fiiendship one of  the purest and highest
sources of human enjoyment!
Eschew, then, the debasing, soul-restraining maxims of Byron, RPochefoucauld, and their imnitators,
and seek in communion with the gifted and the
good, elevated enjoyment and inspiring incentives
to noble purposes and manly achievements.
But if the old Spanish proverb, "Snow me your
friends and I will tell you what you are," is
applicable to the selection of ordinary associates, of
how  much more significance is it in relation to
co)?fdal(nts.  To require such a fiiend, pre-supposes
the need of aclice, and only superiority in age and
knowledge of the world and of the human heart,
can qualify any one for the responsibility thus
assumed.  Nothing is more frequently volunteered
by the inexperienced than advice, while they who
p'iope~ry  ap2,eciate its importance  are  the leaSt
li1ely to give it ttnasked.
In connection with the subject of confidences and
confidants, ponder well the concentrated wisdom
contained in this brief sentence: "Be careful of
.who2 you speak, to whom you speak, and how, and
wIhe, and where."
If from self-consciousness we draw  conclusive
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450     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
proofs of the elevated powers of our nature, we also
leatrn, with equal certainty, the need that all have
of forbearance, lenity, and forgiveness. They who
look for perfection in human companions, will entail
upon themselves a life-long solitude of spirit.  Some
one has prettily said that the fault of a friend is like
a flaw in a beautiful china vase; the defect is reme
diless; let us overlook it. and dwell only upon what
will give us pleasure.
It is alnost useless to attempt to give you any
advice with respect to the choice of an occupation in
life. I trust, however, that you need no argument to
convince you that respectability and happiness unitediy require, let your pecuniary circumstances be
what they may, that you should have such an incentive to the due exercise of your powers of body
and mind.
No consideration is, perhaps, more important than
that of fol7owiWg the natura7 inc7ination' in making
this decision, provided outward circumstances render it possible to do so; and in this country a man
may almost always overcome obstacles of this kind,
by patient perseverance.
The impression, formerly so prevalent, that none
but the three learned professions, as they are called,
require a tlhorough education, as a prelude, is, I must
believe, much less generally entertained, than when
I was a young man.  And this is as it should be
There can be no human employment that is not facilitated by the aid of a cultivated, disciplined intellect, and our young countrymen, who so frequently
make somne temporary and lucrative occupation the 
TO POLI'ENESS AND FASHION.
stepping-stone to advancement, should always bear
this in mind.  One day, Amrerica, like Venice of
old, will be a land of merchant princes —but none
will take rank among these self-elevated patricians
but they vwhlo add tile polish, the refinement, and the
wealth of intellect, to the power derived from external circumstances.
The Physical Sciences and the Inventive and Pi~actical Arts are claiming the attention of our times to
a degree never before known; and these afford new
and sufficient avenues for the exercise of talents tending rather to mechanical than to metaphysical exertion.
RPemember, always, that a man may give dignity
to any honest employment to which he shall devote
his energies-and better so, than to possess no claims
to respect except those bestowed by position. As
the puirsiit of wealth as an end, rather than a means,
is not the noblest of human purposes, so mere occupation and external belongirgs do not determine the
real worth of mind or character.
"I am brother to the lTrorker,
Anld I love his manly look,
As I love a thought of beauty,
Living, star-like, in a book.
I ami brother to the humblest,
In the world's red-handed strife, —
Those who wield the sword of labor,
In the battle ranks of life!
*        *        *        *        *
*        *       *        *        *
Never let the worker falter,
Nor his cause —for hope is strong;
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452     TIJE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
Hle shall live a monarch glorious
In the people's coming throng.
There's a sound comes from the future,
Like the sound of mainyv lays;
FREEDOM. strikes her ihaerp for toilers,
Loud as when the thunder plays!"
While  on this subject, permit me to call your
attention to a matter which, though of minor importance, is not unworthy of consideration.  Men with
but little knowledge of tihe world are apt to betray
their occuzation by thIeir nanener an(d converqation
to smell of tte shtop, as it is often, somewhat coarsely,
expressed.  Thus, an artist will talk habitually of
such matters as arrest the peculiar perceptions he
has quLickened into acuteness by culture, and even
use the technicalities of language  whlich, though
familiar to him, may be, and probably are, unintelligible to persons of general cultivation only.  A
phy.sieian will sometimes go about with a heavy,
-ivory-lieaded cane,  anid  a  grand,  pompous look,
which miay, perchance, be _professio.al, but it is not
the less absurd, unless as a means of impressing the
vulgar; and he often falls into the impression that
any sacrifice to the Graces, or any regard for the
weaknesses of humanity, when in a sick-room, are
entirely beneath his dignity.  -Law ers will  use
Latin phrases, and legal technicalities, in the society of ladies, and the qentlenen of the blace7 cloti
not only carry the pulpit into the drawing-room, but
permit themselves to be lionized by devout old vwo
men, and sentimental young ones, into the best seat
in an apartment, or a carriage, the tit-bits at tal)lc,
.4 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
a~A a sum-total of mawlkishl man-worslup.   As I
hare said, all this savors of' iynorance of the world,
as it does of latent egotism, and deficient self-respect.
Note, therefore, the probable  effects-when unrest,ained by self-scrutiny-of proving in a  Iimzited
2;~e'e of action, and always bear in mind that your
individual occupations and interests, thoughli of great
personal importance, are comparatively insignificant
in the consideration of others; that you yourself
make, when viewed from a general stand-point, but
ca siiigle tn  of the great mass to whom your interests, purposes, and merits, are matters alike of profound indifference and unquestioning ignorance.
"No man," says Jeau Paul, the only one, as the
Germans call him, "can live piously or die righteously without a wife;" and one of the most celebrated observers of lhuman nature among our own country-men, has bequeathed us the recorded opillion that
an early marriage with an amiable and virtuous woman is, next to a film religious faith, the best safeguard to the lhappiyness and principles of a young
man.
In our prosperous land, where the means of living
are diversified almost equally with the necessities of
life, it is far less hazardous to assume the responsibilities arising from early marriage, than in other
countries. Everything is, in a certain sense, precociotls here. Extreme youth is no barrier to independence of effort and position —none to self-reliance
and success.  It may be questioned whether the tax
thus prematurely imposed upon the intellect, as well
as the plhysique, does not, in some'       ie tend. netu
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454     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
only to eventual mediocrity of power, but to quick
ened diminution of the vital energies.
Hence it is, doubtless, well to adopt the golden)
Sn ean in regard to every important step in life. And
though I would by no means counsel you not to
marry until you have accumulated a fortune, I would
strenuously advise you to possess yourselves of something like a prospective certainty of maintenance,
and of sound knowledge of human nature and of
yoterse7, before so far committing, your future happiness.
One prominent cause of the multitude of unhappy
unions, I am persuaded, is the ignorance of their
own true characters with which young persons are
so frequently united.   Wholly immature in body
and mind, when they commence married life, as they
develop, under the influence of time and circunmstance, they awaken to the discovery of an irreconcilable difference, not only in taste, sentiment, and
opinion, but, wl-at is worse, in principle.   This is
one extreme.  On the contrary, the marriage of persons of decided character, before habit has rendered
it difficult to mould themselves into conformity with
the peculiarities fi-omn which none are exempt, is desirable.  The sooner those who are to tread the patI
of life side by side, learn the assimilation that shall
render the way smoother and easier to both, the
greater will be their share of earthly contentment;
and this will be most readily achieved, no dotibt,
while youthful pliancy and adaptability still exist.
Every discriminating, self-informed man, should
be the best judge of the essential requisites fort 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
domestic happiness, in his individual case.  Such an
one will not need to be reminded that all abstract or
generally-applicable rules must needs be modified ill
many instances, for personal usefulness. But no one
will question the desirableness of health, good temler,
and edication, in the companion of domestic life.
By education, I do-not mean an acquaintance with
all, or even with any one, of vlwhat are termed accom7)7i8/tmenta.  A  woman may be well-informed, and
self disciplined, to a degree that will render her an
admirable wife for a man of sense, without  being
able to speak any but her vernacular tongue, or play
upon any instrument, save that harp of a thousand
8tiiyis -thte IItt)2a(,  Heart!
Do not unLderstanrid me as undervaluing the graceful embellishments of social and domestic life, as
presented by the lovelier part of creationi. I wish
only to express, in my plain, blunt way, the conviction that the mnost elegant and varied accomplishinents are a very poor equivalent for poverty Of the
Itecad ct(d/ hecat, in the woman who is to become theL
friend and counsellor to whom  you will look for
enduringa, discriminating affection and sympathy, as
well wvhen tlhe-trials, the cares, and the sorrows of
mnortal existence shall lower heavily over you, as
while you mutually dance along amid the flowers
and the sunshine of youth.
A career of fashionable idleness, irresponsibility
and dissipation, is not a desirable prelude to the systematic routine of quiet duties essential to the homehappiness of a man of moderate resources, and
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456     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
retired habits.  It miay be questioned whether a
woman who has been long accustomed to the adulation and the excitement of a crowd, will be content
to find elnjoyment, sufficient and enduring, in tlie
simple pleasures which alone will be at her commnand, thus circumstanced.
But, while even the incentives afforded by all the
affection  of  w hich  such  an ephemeral being is
capable, will render conformity to this new position
difficult of attainment, she who is early accustomed
to look thoulghtfully upon  life  as beautiful and
brig,ht iidleedc, but as involving serious responsibilities and solemn obligations, will bring to a union
with one of similar perceptions and principles, a
sense of riolt and duty, whiclh, if strengthened by a
colrnmingllling of lhearts, will make it no discouriagimg taskl to her to begqi;  witl ]tcr ]iusbcad wI.ere ihe
begi,s.  Such an one will be content to tread on at
an even pace beside him, through the roughness that
may  beset  his progress,  cheerfully encountering
obstacles, resolute to conquer or endure, as the case
mnay be; and ever fully imbued with that patient,
hopeful, loving spirit, whose motto is' bear one
another's burdens." 
You will think it more consistent with the caution
of an old man, than the ardor natural to a young one,
tlhat I should advise you to pay proper respect to
the claims of the relations or guardians of any lady
to whom  you wish to pay your addresses.  I will,
nevertheless, venture to assert that. for many reasons.
you will, in after life, have reason to congratulate 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
yourself upon pursuing a manly, open, honorable
course inl relation to every feature of this important
era inl your career.
A  firiendship with a  vwoman considerably older
thlan himself (if she be married, it will be all the better) anld especially if hlie have not older sisters, or is
separated from them, is of incalculable advantage to
a young man, when based upon true principles of
thloulght and actior, —not only iin relation to subjects
especially pertaining to  affairs of the heart,  but
respecting a thousand nameless practical matters, as
well as of mental culture, taste, sentiment, and conventional proprieties.   Such a female frienod-matured by the advantages of nature and circumstances
— will secure you present enjoyment of an elevated
character, together with constant benefit and improvement, and expect from you, in return for the
great good slhe renders you, only those graceful courtesies and attentions which a man of true good-breeding alwavys regards as equally obligatory and agreeable.
Let there be, however, a certain  cravitvy mingled
with  the  manifestations  of  regard  you  exhibit
towards all married women, the dominance of respect
in youLr manner towards them, and never permit any
consideration to induce you to forget the establishled
right of everv husband to sanction or not, at his
pleasure, the miost abstractly unexceptionable firiendship between his wife and another man.
Everv man with a nice sense of honor, will indicate, by his prevailing bearing and language towards
20
457
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458     TIIE AMIERICAN GENTLEIAN'S GUIDE
women a felt distinction between the intentions of
friendshij), and those of a suitor or lover.  And while
he observes towards all woimen, and under all circumistances, the respectful courtesy due to them, he
will not hesitate to make his purpose intelligible,
WUh)e /-e A/Cts conceived stff cieut ester to enem to~
mvatli-i-ioiia i2ntentioins.  Proper self-respect, as well
as the consideration due to a lady and her friends
demands this.
I  repeat, that  no  degree  of devotion  to one,
excuses incivility to other female acquaintances in
society; and I will add that the most acceptable
attentions to a woman of sense and delicacy, are
not those that render her generally conspicuous, but
such  is express an ever-present remembrance.f
her comfort and a qulickl discernment of her real
feelings and wishes.
So in the matter of presents, and similar expressions c,f politeness, good taste will dictate no lavish
expeniditure, unwarranted  by pecuniary resources,
and inconsistent withl tl-he general surroundings of
either party, but rather a prevailing hiarmony that
will be really a juster tribute to the object of your
regard, as well as a more creditable proof of your
owii tact and judgment.  All compliments, whether
thus expressed, or by word  of mouth, shot,ld be
characterized by delicate d(iscrimiination and punctilious respect.   It is said  that women  judge of
character by details: certain it is that what may
seenm trifles to us, often sensibly influence  their
opinions of men.   Their perceptions are so keen, 
TO POLITENESS AND  FASHION.
their sensibilities so acute, in comparison withl ours,
that w-e would err materially in estimating them by
the same gauge we apply to each other, and thllus
the mivsteries of the female heart will always remain
in a degree insoluble, even to the acutest masculine
penetration.
But though the nicest shiades of sentiment and
feelin,g may escape our coarser perceptiolns, we need
no unusual discernment to perceive the effects of
kindness, gentleness, and forbearance in our domestic relations.  " I cannot much  esteem  the man,"
Ploowland Hill remarkled, " whose wife, children, and
servants, aind even the cat and dog, are not sensibly
happier for his presence."    Depend  upon  it, 110no
faibled  Genii  could  confer  on you  a talisman so
effective as the power bestowed by the enshrinement
in your heart of the Law of0/ IF' d,(7ss.  In proportion
to the delicacy of womana's organization is her sus
ceptibility to such influence, and he who carelessly
outrages the exquisite sensibilities that  make  the
peculiar charm of her nature, will too often learn,
whenl the lesson brings with it only the bitterness
of experience,
" how light a cause
May miove dissension between hearts that love."
Shun, theln, as Ayou wvould the introduction into your
i)hysical  system of an  insidious but  irradicablo
poisonl
" Tle first slight swervzi,, of the oeart,
Y']tat words are powerless to express!"
But whlile you seek to illustrate your constant
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460     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
remembrance that you have, by the act of marriage,
"bound yourself to be good-humored, affable, discreet, forgiving, patient, and joyful, with respect to
frailties and imperfections to the end of life," bear in
mind, also, that your influence over another imposes
duties of various kinds upon you, and that you
should use that influence with far-sighted wisdom,
to produce the greatest ultimate good. Thus you
will be convinced that it is the truest kindness to
minister to the intellect and the afections of woman,
rather tlhan to her vanity, and that in proportion as
youL  assist her  to exalt her highter i,ature  into
dominance, will you be rewarded by a spirit-union
commensurate to the most exalted necessities of
your own.
I have known men, in my time, who seemed to
have a fixed belief that all manifestations of the
gentler instincts of humanity are unworthy of the
dignity of manhood, and who, by habitually repressing all exhibitions of natural emotion, had apparently succeeded in steeling their hearts, as well
against all softening external impressions as to the
inspiration of the " still, sad music of" their better selves.  All elevated emotions, whether of an
affectionate or religious character, are too sacred for
general observance: " When thou prayest, enter into
thy closet and sheu  the door," was the direction of
our great Teacher, and so with the religio, of t/te
]heart (if youl will permit me the phrase), it would
be desecrated, were it possible-which from its very
nature it is not-to parade its outward tokens to
indlifferent eyes. And yet I return to a prior stan4 
ro POLITENESS AND FASHION.
point and insist that there is a middle-ground, even
here, the juste qn.iieu, as the French say.-Ap)ropos
-the ancient Romans used the same word to designate famnily affection and piety.
Intimately connected with the happiness of domnestic life is the due consideration of pectniary affais.
But, before we proceed to their discussion, let me,
as long a somewhat scrutinizing observer of the
varying phleases of social life, in our own country
especially, enter my earnest protest against the practice so commonly adopted by newly-married persons,
of boardi2g, in place of at once establishing foi
themselves the distinctive and ennobling prero,,ga
tives of Io-Am.  Language and time would alike fai
me in an endeavor to set forth the manifold evils
inevitably growing out of this fashionable system.
Take the advice of an old man, who has tested theories by prolonged experience, and at once establish
your lei(ates within four walls, and under  a roof
that will, at times, exclude all who are not properly
denizens of your household, upon  assuming the
rights and obligations of married life.  Do not be
deterred from this step by the conviction that you
cannot shrine your home-deities upon pedestals of
marble.   Cover theit base s with/  lowers-God's free
gift to all-and the plainest support will sutffice for
them, if it be but rn,z.
With right views of the true aims and enjoyments
of life, it will be no impossible achievement to establish your household appointments within the limits
of -your income, whatever that may be, and to entertain the conviction that the duty of providing foi
461 
462     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
possible, if not probable, future contingencies, is imperative with those who have assumed conjugal and
paternal responsibilities.
Firm adherence to such a system of living will
bring with it a thousand collateral pleasures and
privileges, and secure the only true independence.
Nothing is more unworthy than the sacrifice of
genuine hospitality, taste, and refinement, to the
requisitions of mere fashion, in such arrangements;
no thraldom so degrading as that imposed by the
union of poverty and false pride. What latent egotism, too, in the pre-supposed idea that the world at
large takes careful cognizance of the individualizing
specialities of any man, save when he trenches on
the reserved rights of others.
True self-respect, then, as well as enlarged perceptions of real life, will dictate a judicious adjustment
of means to desired results, and teach the willing
adoption of safe moderation in all.
Happily, comfort and r.efinenent may be secured
without ruinous expenditure, even by the most uiodest beginners in housekeeping. Industry, ingenuity
and taste, will lend embellishment to the simplest
home, and the young, at least, can well afford to dispense with enervating luxury and pretentious dis
play.
With due deference to individual taste, I would
commend the cultivation and gratification of a love
of books and works of art, in preference to the purchase of costly furniture, mirrors, and the like.
Fine prints (which are preferable to indifferent paintings) are now within obtainable reach, by many whoi 
TO POLITENESS AND FASIIION.
permit themselves few indulgences, comparatively,
and everything having a tendency to foster the
,Tsthetical perceptions and enjoyments of children,
and to exalt thesQ gratifications into habitual supremacy over the grosser pleasures of sense, or the exhlibitions of vanity, is worthy of regard.  And as no
avoidable demands of the outer life should be permeitted to diminish the resources of either the heart
or the mind, well-selected books will take high rank
among the belongings of a well-appointed house.
To sum up all, my dear friends, if you aim at
rational happiness, let there be what is artistically
termed keepi~i in your whole system of life.  Let
your style of dress, your mode of housekeeping, and
entertaining, your relaxations, amusements, occupations, and resources, be harmoniously combined.
"Where and how is the most charming of Jewesses?" I asked one morning of an old firiend, upon
lwhom I had been making an unreasonably early call,
rising to go.
" Here, sir, and very well," responded a cheerful
voice from an adjoining room.  1' Will you not come
in a moment?"
The smiling "home-mother" opened wide the halfopen door through which my queries had been answered, and seconded her daughter's invitation.
There sat my fair young friend, with a small table
before her, covered with sewing materials, and a
auge overcoat upon her lap. She was in a simple,
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464     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
neat morning-dress, and plying the needle with great
industry.  She apologized for not rising to receive
me, but not for continuing her occupation after T
seated myself.
"As busily engaged as ever, I see," said I.
"PRather more so than usual, just now.  Fred has
come home in a very dilapidated condition."
" And you are repairing hlim. But what are you
doing with that huge, bearish-looking coat? It's as
much as you can do to lift it, I should judge."
" Oh, I've been putting in new front-facings and
sleeve-linings, and fixing it up a little," returned
she.  "But, Colonel, do tell me, have you read -iacaulay's second volume?"
I replied that I had dipped into it, and added:
"But, before we discuss 3Iacaulay, I want you to
tell me how you learned to be so accoimplished a tai
loress?"
"Rebecca can do anything she wishlies,," said liher
mother, in a soft, gentle voice, " tle heart is a
good teacher."
"Thank you, mother," rejoined the sweet gill
'"Colonel Lunettes will make allowance for youi
natural partiality."
"I would, were it necessary, my dear," I answered
"but I can decide for myself in your case."
A bow, a blush, and a pleasant laugh responded,
and, rising, she deposited the heavy garment she
had been repairing, upon the arm of a chair, and
immediately reseating herself, placed a large basket
full of woollen stockings, at her side, threaded a stout
alderman-like-looking darning  needle with  thick 
ro POLITENESS AND FASHIIION.
yarn, and began to mend a formidable hole in one
of the socks.  Her brother is an engineer, and I
divined at a glance, that those strong, warm things
were, like the blanket-coat, part of his outfit for a
camnpaign in the swamps.
"I  am  delighted  with  AIacaulay's  elaborate
sketches of individuals," resumed the busy seamstress, drawing out her long needle and thread, and
returning it with the speed and accuracy of nicelyadjusted machinery; "do you recollect his portraiture
of the Tirmnzer?"
"It is very fine," I answered, like everythiing else
Mlacaulay has written.   "Nothing, however, has
impressed me more, thus far, in his history, than his
description of the condition of the clergy of the Establishled Church, in the rural districts, during the
reign of James, and later even."
"I, too, was exceedingly interested in it," replied
Rebecca.  "And the more, that I was reminded of
the fate of the daughters of English country curates,
even at this day; of' gentle blinde,' many times, born
and educated ladies, they are subjected, firequently,
through life, to toil and suffering, that would excuse
their envying the fate of a mere kitchen-drudge!"
"They are, usually, governesses for life, and never
marry," continued I.
"Xever marry-though they are so educated and
disciplined, as to be peculiarly well-fitted for the
fulfillment of womnan's dearest and highest destiny!
Thank God! I was born where such social thraldom,
such hateful monstrosities, are not!" And the face
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466     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
that turned its glance upward, for an instant, with
those last fervent words, was overspread with a glow
bright as the crimson hue of sunset.
But, thoulgh my friend, Rebecca, was the last
woman in the world to
"Die of a rose, in aromatic pain,"
she was a perfect Sybarite, in some respects, as I will
convince you.
Entering her mother's tasteful, pretty drawingroom, a few evenings after this conversation, I found
the charming " Jewess," as I sometimes called her,
in allusion to Scott's celebrated heroine, reading by
the lilght of an astral lamp. She was elegantly, and,
I suppose fashionably, dressed, and reclining in a
large,  luxurious-looking, stuffed  chair, with  her
daintily-slippered feet, half buried in a soft crimson
cushion. In short, she was the very impersonation
of the "unbought grace" of one of Natuie's queens.
Had I been younger, by some fifty years, I should
have been tempted, beyond a doubt, to do oriental
homage to so much loveliness.
"By the way, Rebecca," said I, after a few minutes' chat with my hostess, "I must tell you of a
witticism you elicited, this morning, from one of
your admirers!"
" One of my admirers!  Who, pray?"
"Guess! Well, I won't tantalize you!-Iloward
Parker!"
"You tell me something, Colonel! I am not en
titled to enter Mr. Parker on my list of firiends" 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
"What, what! that to me, my dear? I have a
great mind to punish you, by not telling you what
he said."
"As you please, Colonel Lunettes!" with a coquettish toss of her long ringlets.
"Please, tell me, Colonel!" interposed her mother, smilingly; "don't mind Rebecca's nonsense-tell
me!"
" In a whisper?" I inquired, laughing, and glaneind at the " Jewess."  "I hardly dare to venture
that! Well! meeting Hioward, who is a great favorite of mine, in the street, this morning, he told me
he was coming here, to call.'Steel your heart,
then,' said I-' Or she will steal it!' he answered, as
quick as thought."
" Quite  a jeu  d'esprit!"  exclaimed  Rebecca,
laughling gaily. " But, Colonel, SIr. Parker may be
witty, accomplished, and intellectual, but he is not a
gentleman!"
"BIy daughter, you are severe," said her mother,
deprecatingly.
" I don't mean to be, mother; but"  "From what do you draw such a sweeping inference, my child?" I inquired.
"From tifles, dear sir, I admit; but
' trifles make the sum of human things!'
and  slight  peculiarities often  indicate character.
For instance, [ir. Parker keeps his hat on, when he
is talking to ladies, and neglects his teeth and hairvout needn't laugh, mamma!   Yesterday morning,
he joined me in the street, and came home with me, 
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468     THlE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
or, nearly home; fo)r hlie stopped short, a little way
firom the house, let me cross a great mud-puddle, as
well as I could, alone, and open the gate for myself,
though I had my banids full of things.  It's true, lhe
had the grace to color a little, when I said, significantly, as he bade me good morning, that I was glad
I had crossed the Sloughl- of Despond, without accident."
"That showed that a sensible woman could correct
his faults," I remarked.
"I don't know about that," replied my hostess.
"Such things, as RPebecca says, ind icat e /laracter;
and I would not advise any young lady to marry a
man, with the expectation of reforming him."
"Not of a cardinal vice, certainly," said I; "1but
there are"  Hlere a servant interrupted me with-",lr. Pui —
ker's compliments, 3Iiss," and offered my fastidious
young fiiend a large parcel, wrapped in a wet, soiled
newspaper, and tied with dirty red tape.
"Ugh!"  exclaimed the Sybarite, recoiling, withl
unrepressed disgust. "What is it, Betty? It can't
be for me I"
" Its, 5riss, an' no mistakle —the bloy said it got
wet in tle rain, widout, as hie was bringing it,:n'
no umberriellar wid him."
" Will you just take it into the hall, and take off
the paper, Biddy?  Be careful not to let it get
dirty and wet, inside, will yoi?" -Witli studied
noncalazance.
Presently Piddy- laid down a large, handsomelyboulnd volume, anid a note, beflore the young lady 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
"It is a copy of MIacaulay's'Lays of Ancient
RPome,'"  said she, skimming over the note.  "' Alr.
Parker was alluding to some passage in one of the
p)oems, this morning.  He says I will find it marked
and begs me to accept the book, as a philopcena-olh,
here are the lines-I thought them very fine as he
recited them. Shall I read them, mamma? And
you, sir, will you hear them?"
' Then none was for a party;
Then all were for the state;
Then the great man helped the poor,
And the poor man loved the great;
Then lands were fairly portioned;
Then spoils were fairly sold:
The Romans were like brothers,
In the brave days of old.'"
The  enthusiasm with  which  the  appreclat-igr
reader read this spirited passage, did not prevent my
observing that she held her handkerchief closely
pressed upon the back of the exquisite antique binding of the volume, in the hope, as I inferred, of drying the stain of wet which I noticed, at once attracted her attention when  she took up the gift.  The
open note, as it lay upon the table, disclosed a torn,
ragged edge, as if it had been carelessly severed
from a shleet of foolscap.
Whatever her reflections, the younng lady had too
much instinctive delicacy to comment upon these
peccadilloes, and so, of course, I could institute no
defense of my friend. I, therefore, tacked, as a
sailor would say. 
469 
470     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
"Howard's a noble fellow," said I, " in spite of
his little oddities, but he has one fault, unfortunately,
which I fear will prevent his winning much favor
with the ladies."
"What is that?" inquired my young auditor, in a
tone of seeming indifference, but with a heightened
color, and an eager glance.
"He is poor!"
"Do you mean that hlie lives by his wits, as the
phrase is?" asked my hostess.
"By no means! simply this:-Parker began the
world without a dollar, and has had, thus far, to
'paddle his own canoe,' as he expresses it, against
wind and tide."
" That is quite the best thing I ever knew  of
him!" exclaimed Rebecca, with animation, " It does
him great credit, in my estimation!  But, Colonel, I
cannot agree with you in thinking MIr. Parker,
poor!"
"1 No?"
" No, indeed! in my regard, no man, in our country is poor, who possesses health, education, and an,
unblemished reputation!"
In the library of the only representative of the
British government in this country-and hlie was the
lineal representative, as well, of one of the oldest,
wealthiest and most aristocratic of noble English
families —whose guest I remember to have been, 1
found great numbers of books, which he had brought
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TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
with him from home, but they were arranged upon
simple, unpainted pine shelves, put up for convenience, while the owner should remain at Washing,ton.  He brought his books, because he wanted
themlL for constant use-but, though accustomed to
the utmost luxuriousness of appointment at home,
he did not dream of bringing furniture across the
Atlantic, or of apologizing for the absence of more
than was demanded by necessity in his temporary
residence.
I remember, too, to have heard it said that one of
the recent governors of the Empire State had not a
single  article of mahogany furniture in his house at
Albany; and yet, nobody complained of any want
of hospitality or courtesy on his part, while making
this discovery.  The simple fact was, that, being
without private fortune, and the salary of his office
insufficient for such expenditures, ihe could not aford
it-and no man, I believe, is bound to run in debt,
to gratify either the expectations or the vanity of
his political constituents.
As a contrast to these anecdotes, how does the
following incident impress you?
Walkling down Broadway, in New  York, one
bright morning with a distinguished American
statesman, he suddenly camne to a full halt before
a show-window in which glittered, among minor
matters, a superb candelabra, in all the glory of
gilding and pendants.
"That's a very handsome affair, Lunettes," said
my companion; " let us step in here a moment."
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472     TIlE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE
5'e entered accordingly. A salesman came for.
ward.
"What is the price of that candelabra, in the
window?" inquired the statesman.
" Six hundred dollars," replied the young man.
" Pack it up and send it to AI," replied my
friend, turning to go.
" And the bill, sir?"
" You may send the bill to me-to D       W
at Washington."
I happened to lknow that the great man had, only
within a day or two, been released, by the generosity of several of his personal friends, from an embargo upon his movements that would otherwise
have prevented his eloquent thunder from being
hleard[ in the National Senate!
The massive head and stately bearing of John
-Marshall always rise before my minid's eye, when I
recall this characteristic illustration of his native
manliness:
The Chief Justice was in the habit of going to
market himself; and carrying home his purchases.
I-e might frequently be seen at sunrise, with poultry
in one hand and vegetables in the other.
On one of these occasions a young Northerner,
who had recently removed to Pichmond, and thus
become a fellow-townsman of the great Virginian,
was heard loudly complaining that no one could be
found to carry home his turkey. 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
The Chief Justice, vlwho was unknown to the newcomer, advancing, inquired where the stranger lived
and on being informed, said, very quietly-" That is
on my way; I will take it for you;" and receiving
the turkey, walked briskly away.
When he reached the house that had been designated, Aiarshall awaited the arrival of the owner, and
delivered up his burden.
" What shall I pay you?" inquired the youth.
"',otlhing, whatever," replied the biographer of
Washington, "it was all in my way, and not tlhe
slightest trouble-you are welcome;" and hlie pursued his course.
"Who is that polite old man?" asked the youing,
stranger of a by-stander.
He was  answered- " T/at is John  MJarshall,
Ctief Justice of the Uitted Stactes."
I well remember, too, how often I used to join my
old friend, Chief Justice Spencer, of 1\Tew York, as
lie climbed tile long hill leading to his residence, at
Albany, with a load of poultry in his hand.  And 1
dare say his great-hearted brother-in-law, De Witt
Clinton, often did the same thing. Certain I am,
that he was the most unostentatious of human beings,
as simple and natural as a boy, to the end of his
days.
I have the vanity to believe that you will not have
forgotten the little sketch I gave you, in a previous
letter, of nmy interesting young friend Julia Peters
Not long after my brief acquaintance with her-that
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474     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE
is, within a Rear-I received a newspaper neatly
inclosed, and sealed with a fanciful device, in prettily-tinted w-ax, which being interpreted for me by
a fair adept in such matters, was said to read" Love, or Cupid, carrying a budget to you from me."
The following paragraph was carefully marked:
" MIARRIED:-In the Church of the IHIoly IJunocents, in this village, on Tuesday, Mlay 12th, by the
Rev. B       Y, St. John Benton and Julia A.
Peters, daughter of the late Fitz-James Peters, Esq.,
of Princeton, N. J."
Then followed this sentence, in large characters:
" THE PRINTER AND THE' CARRIER' ACKNOWLEDGE
A BOUNTIFUL RECEIPT OF SUPERB WEDDING-CAKE. —
l[/ay evergy bessing attnd thee hapy pair!"
I, too, had my share of the wedding-cake, accompanied by very tasteful, simple cards, as well as a
previous invitation to the wedding, written jointly by
Air. and Mrs. Y —, and in terms most flatteringly
cordial, and complimentary.  MIrs. Y        and I had,
by this time, exchanged letters more than once.  I
will give you, as a specimen of the agreeable epistolaiy style of my fair fliend, the following commnuication, which reached  me  some two  or three
months after the marriage of her sister.
"RECTORY,, Aug. 22d,
'" DERAR COL. LUNETTES:            "I avail myself of my very first leisure
to comply with the request contained in your most
kind and acceptable letter of last week.  Whethelr 
TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
your amiable politeness does not overrate my capacity to write a'true woman's letter-full of little
significant details and particularities,' remains to be
seen.  I will do my best, at least, and'naught exteunate, nor set down aught in malice.' 
"I hardly know where to begin, in answer  toyour
query about the'possibility of the most economical
young people managing to live on so small  an
income.'  The truth is, Julia and I, thanks to a judicious mother, werepractically educated, which makles
all the difference in the world in a woman's capacity
to' make the worse appear the better reason' in
matters of domestic management. The house they
live in is their own. Sir. Benton, fortunately, possessed the means of fully paying for it (hlie was
entirely frarlnk with Mr. Y     about all these matters, from the beginning) and Julia was able to furnish it simply, though comfortably.  It is a smal
establishment, to be sure.-a little house and a little
garden, but it is tfteir own, and that gives it a charm
wshichl it would not otherwise possess.  They feel that
they will have the benefit of such improvements as
they mlay makle, and it is wonderful what an effect
this consciousness produces.  The house was a plain,
bald-loolkingi building enough, when Fitz James'
bought it. Julia said it would be a bold poetic
license to call it ca cottage! —but he has studied
architecture, at intervals, as he has had time, with a
view to future advancement, and so he devised, and
partly constructed, tasteful little ornaments to surmount the windows, and a very pretty rustic porch
i, front.   Tie effect was really almost magical.  -
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476     TIHE AMERICAN GENTLE]IAN'S GUIDE
when united with the soft, warm color that took tile
place of the glaring white o)f which every one is becoming so tired. It is quite picturesque, I assure
you, now. As a romantic young lady said of it-' it
is like the cottages we read  of,-quite  a pictureplace.'   But pretty and tasteful as it is outside, one
must become  an inmate of Julia's little Eden, to
know half its claims to admiration. It is just the
neatest, snuggest, cosiest little nest (by the wa  they
call it' Cosey Cottaqe,' as you will please remera
ber when you write, dear sir) you can imagine.
There is nothing grand, or even elegant, perhaps,
but every part is thoroughly furnished for convennience and comfort, and everythian  corresponds.  It
is not like some city houses I have been in, where
everything was expended in glare and display in the
two parlors-'  nwisely kept for show,' and up-stairs
and in the kitchen, the most scanty, comfortless
arrangemients.  Julia's carpets and curtains are quite
inexpensive, but the colors are well chosen for harmony of effect.  (Julia rather prides herself LpoIl
having things ai'tistic, as she expresses it, even to teto
loopilg, up of a curtain.)  There is a sort of indescribable expression about the little parlor, which, by
the way, they really qtse, daily her friends say'How much this is like Julia!'  Sonme  vf Julia's
crayon heads, and a sketch or two of Mr. Benton's.
are hung in the different rooms, and they have  coi
trived, or rather imitated, (for I believe St. John sai(i
it was a French idea) the prettiest little brackets,
which are disposed about the walls and corners of the
parlor.  They are only rough things that her h.
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TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
band makes up, covered by Julia, with some dark
mnaterial, and ornamented with fringe, costing almost
aothing, but so pretty in effect for supporting vases
of flowers or little figures, or something of that kind.
Then there is a tiny place, opening from the parlor,
dignified with the name of library, where Julia and
Benton' draped,' and' adjusted,' and re-draped,
and re-adjusted, to their infinite enjoyment and content, and somewhat to mny amusement, I will confess
to you, dear sir.  Indeed they trot in harness, to
borrow one of St. John's phrases,-most thoroughly
matched, as well as mated, and go best together.
They think so, at least, I should infer, as they always
are together, if possible. Julia helps Benton in the
garden-holds the trees and shrubs while he places
them; and ties iup) the creeping-roses, and other
things he arranges over the porch, and around the
windows, and assists him with the lighter work of
manufacturing rustic seats and stands, and baskets
for the garden and summer-house; and Benton (who
has quite a set of tools) puts up shelves and various
contrivances of that sort, and did help to lay the carpets, etc., Julia told me. Indeed, while I was with
them, Mr. Benton's daily life constantly reminded
me of the beautiful injunction -' Let every man
show, by his kind acts and good deeds, how much of
Heaven he has in him.'
"But I only tire you, dear sir, by my poor attempts
to  portray  my  sister's  simple  happiness-ou
mnust see it for yourself!  I make no apology for
the minuteness of my details,-if they seem puerile,
Colonel Lunettes has himself to thank for my frank- 
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478     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUJIDE
ness, but I have yet to learn that my valued friend
says or writes, what he does not mean.
"I have left to the last-because so pleasant a
theme,-some reference to Julia's pride and delight
in your beautiful bridal-gift to her. She has, no
doubt, long since, written to thank you; but I cannot deny myself the gratification of telling you how
much she values and enjoys it,-from my own observation. It is really noticeable too, how exactly it
suits with all the, other table appointments she has(unless perhaps it is a shade too handsome) only
another proof of Colonel Lunettes' fine taste!  MIr.
Y, to tease Julia,  asked her  one  evening,
when she was indulging in a repetition of her usual
eulogy upon the gift and the giver, whether she
really meant to say that she preferred a china tea-pot,
sugar-bowl, and cream-cup, to silver ones.' Indeed
I do,' said she,' a silver tea-service for me, would
be " sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought!"  It
would not suit my style at all.' Julia says she shall
never be perfectly happy until she makes tea for
Colonel Lunettes, from her beautiful china, and Mr.
Benton says Colonel Lunettes is the only  man  in the
world of whom  Ae is jealous!  Upon this, there
always follows a gentle (very gentle) twitching of
St. John's whiskers, of which, I will add, by way
of a description of the personnel of the young man,
he has a pair as black and curling as Mr. Y  -'s,indeed, I must concede that Julia's husband is almost
as handsome as my own!
"We are all eagerly anticipating for the fulfillment
of your promise to visit our beautiful valley, -while
.
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TO POLITENESS AND FASHION.
robed in the gorgeous hues of Autumn.  Mr. Y -
and I, are arranging everything with reference
to so agreeable an event;-' we will go there, or
see that,' we say,'when Colonel Lunettes comes.'
Julia, too, is looking forward, with much pleasure,
to welcoming so coveted a guest.' I hope we shall
be able to make the Colonel comfortable, in our
quiet way,' she always says, when speaking of your
promised visit;'you, and Mr. Y, are so used
to have the bishop, and other celebrities, that you
don't know anything about being nervous, at such
times; but poor me-just beginning, and such a
novice!' Upon this, her husband always appeals to
me, to say whether I have nicer things to eat, any   where,'even at home,' and whether any sensible
man could not content himself, even in such a' little
box,' for a few days, at least; especially, when well
assured how happy and honored a certain young
lady will be, on the occasion. And I must say, for
Julia, that her versatile powers are fully illustrated
in her housekeeping.  Mr. Y        declares that no   body but his wife can make such bread-a perfect
cure for dyspepsia! and, as for the pumpkin-pies!
well, upon the whole, he has decided that we ought
to spend Thanksgiving at' Cosey Cottage.'
" I have omitted to mention that, at Julia's earnest
instance, we left her little namesake-' Colonel Lu   nettes' pet,' as she delights to call herself-with her,
when we were there.  I hardly knew how to give
her up, though but for a few weeks, even to her
aunt. Just before we came away, I said to her,'I
hope Aunt Julia, and Uncle St. John, won't spoil
479
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480     THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN S GUIDE.
you, my darling; your aunt has promised to scold
you, when youl are naughty.''Oh, but'on see,
mamnma, I don't never mean to be naughty,' she
answered, almost stopping my breath with her little
chubby arms clinging about my neck.
"Persuaded, dear sir, that you will have'supped
your full,' even to repletion, of a'true woman's letter,' I will only add to Mr. Y's kindest remembrances and regards, the sincere assurance that I
am, as ever,
"Your attached and grateful
CECILIA D. Y.
"COL. HENRY LUNETTES."
And now, my dear nephews, that the blessing of
Heaven may rest upon you, always, in
"Life's earnest toil and endeavor,"
is the affectionate and heartfelt prayer and farewell
of your
UNCLE HAL
TE Ed
7 )