:~':
MAN'S RIGHTS;
OR,
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
DREAMS.
BY
DENTON CRIDGR
,.4.  1.,
* I
s colding the mirror up to Nature."
"Oh, wad some power the gitie gie us
To see ourseks as ithers see us I "
"It is my cow that was gored by your ox."
MRS. E. M. F. DENTON, PUBLISHER,
WELLESLEY, MASS.
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CONPRIBING
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RIGHTS;
JR,
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
DREAM NUMBER ONE.
LAST night I had a tream, which may have a
meaning.
I stood on a high hill that overlooked a large city.
The proud spires of many churches rose high, here
and there; and round about the city were beautiful,
sloping hills, stretching away, away into the distance:
while a broad river wound here and there, extending
a kindly arm toward the city.
As I stood there, wondering what manner of city it
was, its name, and the character of its inhabitants, all
at once I found myself in its very midst.  From house
to house I flitted; from kitchen to kitchen: and lo!
everywhere the respective duties of man and woman
were reversed; for in every household I found the
men in aprons, superintending the affairs of the kitchen.
Everywhere men, and only men, were the Bridgets
and housekeepers.  I thought that those gentlemanhousekeepers looked very pale, and somewhat nervous;
and, when I looked into their spirits (for it seemed in 
a p  
MAN'S 
MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
my dream that I had the power), I saw anxiety and
unrest, a constant feeling of unpleasant expectancy,
-the result of a long and weary battling with the
cares of the household.
As I looked at those men-Bridgets and gentlemanhousekeepers, I said to myself, "This is very strange I
Why, these men seem unsexed! How stoop-shoul.
dered they are!  how  weak and complaining their
voices."
I found, too, that not only was the kitchen exclusively man's, but also the nursery: ill fact, all the
housework was directed and done by men. I felt a
sad pity for these men, as I flitted from house to house,
from kitchen to kitchen, from nursery to nursery.
I saw them in the houses of the poor, where the
"man did his own work."  I saw him in the morning
arise early, light the fire, and begin to prepare the
breakfast, his face pale and haggard.  "No wonder I"
I thought, when I saw how he hurried, hurried, while
in his spirit was a constant fear that the baby would
awake. Very soon I heard the sharp cry of the baby;
and away ran the poor father, soon returning with
baby in his arms, carrying it around with him, while
he raked the fire, fried the meat, and set the table for
breakfast.  When all was ready, down came two or
three unwashed, unkempt children, who must be at.
tended to: and, when all this was done, I observed
that the poor gentleman's appetite was gone; and,
pale and nervous, he sat down in the rocking-chair,
with the baby in his arms. But what greatly astonished me was to see how quietly and composedly the
lady of the house drank her coffee and read the morn?
ing paper; apparently oblivious of the trials of her
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HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
poor husband, and of all he had to endure in connec.
tion with his household cares.
It was wash-day, and I watched him through that
long and weary day. First at the wash-tub, while baby
slept; then rocking the cradle and washing at the same
time; then preparing dinner, running and hurrying
here and there about the house: while in his poor,
disturbed mind revolved the thought of the ewing
that ought to be done, and only his own hands to
do it.
Evening came, and the lady of the house returned
to dinner.  The children came to meet her; and as
she lifted up one, and then another, and kissed them, I
thought! "Why, how beautiful is that woman!" Then
in my dream I seemed to behold every woman of that
strange city; and, ah I the marvellous beauty of those
women! Eye hath not seen, neither hath it entered
into the heart of man to conceive; for a beauty almost
angelic was so charmingly combined with intellect,
and health brooded so divinely over all, that, at the
tout ensemble, I was profoundly astonished and intensely delighted.
Then I turned myself about, and was again in the
home I had left.  It was evening: the lamp on the
table was lighted, and there sat the poor husband I
have described, in his rocking-chair, darning stock.
ings and mending the children's clothes after the hard
day's washing.  I saw that it had rained; that the
clothes-line had broken, and dropped the clothes in the
dirty yard; and the poor man had had a terrible time
rinsing some and washing others over again; and that
he had finally put them down in wash-tubs, and cov.
ered them with water he had brought from a square
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6MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
distant. But the day's work was over; and there he
moved to and fro, while his wife, in comfortable slip.
pers, sat by the fire reading.
" Well," I said to myself; "such is the home of the
lowly; but how is it where one or more servants can
be kept?" Then, as by magic, I saw how it was; for I
found myself in a kitchen where a male Bridget was
at work, his hair uncombed, his face and  rands unwashed, and his clothes torn and soiled.  Bridget was
cooking breakfast, a knife in his hand, while he was
bending over the cooking-stove, moodily talking to
himself.   The gentleman-houLsekeeper, pale and unhappy, opened the door, looked at Bridget, but said
nothing, and soon went into the dining-room. As
soon as his back was turned, Bridget turned around,
lifted the arm that held the knife, and, with a fiendish
look, whispered to himself, "I would like to strike
you with this."
Breakfast on the table, I looked, and beheld bad
coffee, burned meat, and heavy biscuits; and I heard
the lady of the house, who sat in a morning-robe and
spangled slippers, say to the poor gentlemnan,  "My dear, this breakfast is bad, very bad: you
ought to attend to things better."
1 observed how sad he felt at these words; and I did
pity the poor fellow. It seemed to me that I staid
a whole day with this poor gentleman. Hiis health was
very feeble: he was suffering from dyspepsia. I saw
him attending the children, saw him sewing, saw him
go nervously into the kitchen, and sadly and wearily
attend to things there, while the dark glances of the
male Bridget followed him viciously everywhere. I
saw the waste and thieving of that man-Bridget, and
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HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
saw how completely that poor gentleman felt crushed
and held by his help. My heart yearned toward that
poor, feeble housekeeper, unable to do his own work,
and so much at the mercy of that terrible Bridget;
and I ceased to wonder at the pale faces of the men
everywhere.
The homes of the wealthy I visited; and almost
everywhere I found those gentlemnan-housekespers
anxious and worried, no matter how many servants
were kept. There was trouble about washing, trouble
about ironing, trouble about children: there was
waste, there was thieving; and, oh! the number of
poor, sickly gentlemen I found made me very sad.
And while, in my dream, my heart was going out
in pity and commiseration toward those gentleman,.
housekeepers, I found myself in the midst of a large
assembly, composed exclusively of these men.  Here
almost every man in the city had congregated to hold
an indignation-meeting,  a housekeeper's indignation
meeting.  Every man wore a white kitchen-apron,
and some I noticed whose sleeves were white with
flour, while others had pieces of dough here and there
stuck on their clothes: otl-hers, again, had hanging on
their arms dish-cloths and towels.  Very many, too,
had babies in their arms, and one or more children at
their side.
Theni I listened to some of their speeches. One
gentleman said,  "I have kept house sixteen years; and I know what
it is to be poor and do my own work; and Iknow
wh-at it is to have servants: and I tell you, gentlemen,
the whole system of housekeeping, as now conducted,
is a bad one. It is, in the first place, wasteful and ex
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MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
travagant; and, in the next place, it wears out our
bodies and souls. See how pale and feeble we are:
It is time there was a change."
"We don't each of us make our own shoes," said
another speaker; "we don't each of us spin our own
yarn, or weave our own cloth: the hand-loom has de.
parted, and it is now done by machinery, which has so
far come to our rescue. It is not so bad fsr us as for
our grandfathlers, who had to weave on a hand.loom all
the muslin and cloth for the family; but it is bad
enough. Here we are kept every day of our lives
over the cook-stove, wash-tub, or ironing-table, or
thinking about them. Can nothing be done to remedy
this? Can not all the domestic work be done by machinery? Can not it be done on wholesale principles?
I say it can: there is no more need for a kitchen to
any house than for a spindle or a loom."
Then followed many more speeches about the extravagance of the present system, whereby one or
two persons, and often more, were employed in doing
the work of a small family, when it might be done at
much less expense for one-fourth the labor, were the
wholesale principle applied to that as it is to other
tllin gs.
One man remarked that the kitchen was a small
retail shop to every house: another called it a dirtproducing establishment for every family, sending its
fumes and filth to every room.  Another gentlemlan
said that the fine pictures painted about the domestic
hearth, happy homes, &c., were all moonshine, and
would continue so just as long as the present state
of things continued.
"I protest against the present state of things," said
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HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?9
a tall, delicate man, with a large, active brain.  "We
have this matter in our own hands; and let us here
and now begin something practical. Instead of forty
little extravagant cooking-stoves, with each a Bridget
and so many gentlemen employed as housekeepers,
let us have one large stove, and do our cooking, washing, andi ironing onl a large scale."
Well, I thought in my dream that I listened lo hundreds of speeches and protests and denunciations.
Then the scene changed; and forthwith there sprang
up large cooking-establishments in different parts of
the city, that could, as if by magic, supply hundreds
of families with their regular meals.  I looked, and
lo! what machinery had done in the weaving of cloth,
above and beyond what had been effected by the
hand-loom, was accomplished here. The inventive
genius of the age had been at work; and the result
was a wondrous machine that could cook, wash, and
iron for hundreds of people at once.
-"I must see the workings of that establishment," I
said in my dream; and forthwith a polite gentleman,
who said that he had been a housekeeper twe.nty-five
years, and knew all the petty annoyances of the old
system, kindly proposed to stow me the various
doings of the machinery.
"We are going to cook dinner now," he said, as he
,wtalked toward a monster machine.  He  touched a
handle, and then about fifty bushels of potatoes were
quietly let down into a large cistern, where they were
washed, and then moved forward into a machine fitor
peeling; which operation was accomplished in a minute or two by its hundreds of knives, and the pota.
toes came out all ready to be cooked.  Turnips went
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MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
through the same process, and other vegetables were
prepared and made ready for the huge cooking apparatus.  All was done by machinery: there was no
lifting, no hauling, no confusion; but the machines,
like things of life, lifted, prepared, and transferred as
desired.
I saw what was called a "self-feeding pie.maker,"
that reminded me of a steam printing-press, where the
paper goes in blank at one end and comes out printed
at the other. So the flour, shortening, and fruit were
taken in all at once at three separate receptacles, and
came out at the other end pies ready for the oven, to
which they were at once, over a small tramway, transferred by machinery. Another machine made cakes
and pies.             4
Meal-time came: the dinner was to be served. Two
large wooden doors opened by means of a spring
which the gentleman touched with his foot.  Through
them came filing past us, one after another, small, curiously constructed steam-wagons, the motion of which
caused but little noise, as the wheels were tired with
vulcanized India-rubber: those wagons were so arranged as to travel on common roads, and much
resembled caravans. They moyed past machines whicli
were called "servers," where meals were  dished
and transferred to the stem,n caravans, which latter
were termed " waiters."' All this was done systematic?a.ly, quietly, yet rapidly, by a few persons in charge
of thle machines by which meals were prepared for
and distributed to hundreds of families.  I saw that
there were hundreds of these "servers," as well as
hundreds of waiters; so that the dinner was dished
and served almost simultaneously, in double-tin cases,
containing all requisites for the table.
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HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
Then away went the steam "waiters," delivering
the meals almnost simultaneously at the houses, which,
by the by, were rapidly being "reconstructed" tc
meet the new state of things, with dining-rooms to
accommodate hundreds at once, in blocks, or hollow
squares, with cook-houses, laundries, &c., at the center, or in circles similarly arranged, combining, in a
most inconceivable degree, economy with beauty.
To return to the steam waiters: At a time understood, they called for the tin cases containing dishes
and debris, and then wended their way back to headquarters, where all the dishes were washed and transferred to their places by steam-power.
The washing and ironing, I discovered, was done in
the same expeditious manner, by machinery; several
hundred pieces going in at one part of the machine
dirty, and coming out at the other end a few minutes
afterward, rinsed and ready to dry. The ironing was
as rapid as it was perfect, - smooth, glossy, uncreased
unspecked; all done by machinery.
Then I looked once more into. this strange city, and,
behold!an emancipated class! The pale, sickly faces
of the men were giving place to ruddy health. Anxie.
ty, once so marked in their features, was departing.
No Bridget to dread now; no washing-day any more;
no sad faces nor neglected children: for now the poor
gentleman-housekeepers had time to attend to the
children, and to the cultivation of their own minds;
and I saw that the dream of the poet and of the
seer was realized: for husban,l and wife sat side
by side, each sharing the joys of the other. Science
and philosophy, home and children, wvere cemented
together; for peace, sweet peace, had descended like
a dove on every household.              -
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MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
I awoke: it was all a dream.  My husband stood
at my bedside. "Annie, Annie!" he said: "awake,
Annie! that new girl of yours is good for nothing.
You will have to rise and attend to her, else I shall
have no breakfast. I have been late at the office for
several days past, and I fear I shall be late again."
I arose: and, as my husband ate his breakfast, I
pondered over my strange dream.  As soon s he was
gone, I transferred it to paper, feeling that it really
did mean something and is intended as a prophecy
of the "' good time coming," when woman will be rid
of the kitchen and cook-stove, and the possibilities of
the age actualize for woman that which I have
dreamed for man.
DREAM NUMBER TWO.
ONCE again I have visited that strange city in
dream-land, where men, and only men, were the housekeepers and Bridgets.
It is midnight: I have just awakened from my
dream, and risen to pen it down, lest in the morning
I should find my memory treacherous. My good husband has protested against writing by gas-light, and
very gravely given his opinion on midnight writing;
and - ah, well! he is sound asleep now, I see; and so
at once to my dream.
I thought my husband and I were walking along
some beautiful streets, when all at once I exclaimed,
" Why, husband I here we are t6gether in that very
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HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
city I told you about, where the men are the housekeepers and kitchen-girls.  Oh, I'm glad! Let us find
out every thing about these inhabitants, both men and
women."
While we were talking together, several gentlemen,
pale and delicate in appearance, passed us.  Some
were dressed in calico suits, trimmed with little ruffles  ruffles round the bottom of the pants, rufflesdown the front and round the tails of the coats; and
on both sides of the button-holes of their vests were
rows of small ruffles. From some of their little flat
hats flowed ribbon-streamers; while on others were
placed, jauntily and  conspicuously, feathers  and
flowers.
More and more gentlemen passed us.  What a variety of costume! I was almost bewildered; gentlemen
in red, green, yellow, drab, and black suits, trimmed
in such elaborate and fanciful styles!  Some suits
were parti-colored; that is to say, the pants perhaps
yellow or red, the vest blue, the coat green, crimson,
or drab.  Some of these suits were trimmed with lace:
lace down the sides of the pants and round the bot;
toms; lace round the edges of the coat, and beauti fully curving hither and thither as a vine, over the
backs and down the fronts of the coats; and also over
the fronts of the vests. Some suits were almost cov ered with elaborate embroidery, or satin folds, or pip ing, or ribbon, while bows and streamers of the same
or contrasting colors, according to taste, were placed
on the backs of the coats, shoulders, and, here and
there, on the vest and pants. It really makes me
laugh at this moment to think of that comical sight.
Their head-dresses, too, were most fantastic; flowers'
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MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
bits of lace, tulle or blonde, feathers, and even birds,
were mixed in endless profusion with ribbon, tinsel,
glitter, and (ad libit6m) grease. Many of these gen.
tlemen carried little portemonnaies, which hung on their jewelled fingers by tiny chains.  Others carried
fans, some edged with feathers, or covered with pic tures, or inlaid with pearl, &c., varying, I suppose,
according to the purse.
Each of these gentlemen seemed particularly interested in every other gentleman's costume; for they
turned and looked at each other, while several exclamations reached my ear; such as, "What a superb
suit!" "What a splendid coat!" " What a darling
vest!" "What a love of a hat!"
These gentlemen had a swinging gate, somethiing
like that of a sailor, that made their coat-tails move
to and fro as they walked. I noticed, too, that they
were very careful of their pants, which were decidedly wide; for on passing over a gutter or soiled part
of the pavement, they carefully and daintily raised
the legs of the panrts with the finger and thumb. This
impressed me favorably as to their love of cleanliness;
for otherwise the laces, ribbons, embroidery, or ruffles
which graced the bottoms of their pants, would have
come in contact with the mud'of the streets.
As we stood looking at those strange gentlemen,.
my husband suggested the idea of a masquerade.
Then suddenly I found myself alone, and flitting from
dwelling to dwelling, from home to home; and every.
where the gentlemen were dressed in flimsy materials,
and all more or less decked with trimmings.
I found the majority of gentlemen busy with needle.
work, some doing the sewing of the family; but many,
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HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
very many, with their sons, dressed in delicate morning suits, doing fancy-work.   Some  were working
little cats and dogs on footstools; others were busy
with embroidery, fancy knitting, and all the delicate
nothings that interest only ladies in this waking world
of ours.
As I listened to their conversation, which was generally composed of gossip, fashion, or love-matters,
for the male sex took the fashion-books, and not ladies,
and these I. found in the majority of homes, headed
"Gentlemenl's Magazine of Fashions," - as I listened
to their conversation, I repeat, and observed all this,
my soul was filled with unutterable sadness.  "Alas I
alas!" I said: "what means this degradation?  Why
have the lords of creation become mere puppets or
dolls?  Where is the loftiness and intellectuality of
man- noble man! "
Just then I was aroused from my reverie by an aspiring young gentleman who was sewing some ruffles
on the legs of his pants, saying to his father, "I don't
see, papa, why men can not earn money as well as
women: I want to learn a business."
"That is all nonsense," replied his father: "your
business is to get married. These is no necessity for
a boy to learn a business: what you have to do is to
learn to be a good housekeeper; for you will be mar ried some day, and will have to attend to your chil dren and your wife; and that is enough business for
any man."
"But I may not marry," said the boy; " and I know
I will not, unless I can get a woman with money, that
can give me a good home."
Then they talked about Mr. Some-one- I could not
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1:  - A
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MAN'S. RIGHTS; OR,
catch the name-  that had married well: his wife way
worth over fifty thousand dollars, and was very kind
to him, taking him  to theaters and concerts, and
wherever he wanted to go: she let him, too, have all
the dress he wanted.  She  had only one fault: she
would not allow him to go anywhere unless she ag companied him.
Oh! my soul was sick with sympathy and pity for
that race of poor degraded men I  "What does it
mean?" I asked myself: "why are they in this piti able condition?"
Then, for the first time, I realized that this city was
the capital of a great nation; that women, and only
women, were the lawmakers, judges, executive offi cers &c., of the nation; that every office of lionor
and emolument was filled by women; that all colleges
and literary institutions, with very few exceptions,
were all built for women, and only open to women,
and that men were all excluded.  I went from school
to school, from college to college; and, ah I the beauty,
the dignity, of those women!  Science and art had
truly crowned them with their own best gifts: their
faces seemed to me almost divine; and, ah! what a
contrast to the vain, silly, half-educated men who staid
at home, or paraded the streets, thinking principally
of fashion and dress! for these women were everywhere dressed in plain, substantial clothing, which
lent to them such a charm that I realized instinctively
there was something about them far more beautiful
than beauty.
As I looked upon these women in the colleges, as
students and professors, as lawyers, judges, and jurors;
as I looked upon them iil the lecture-room and the
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HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
pulpit, the house of representatives and the senate.
chamber, - yea, everywhere, -I observed their quiet
dignity, clothed in their plain flowing robes; and I
was almost tempted to believe that Nature had intend.
ed - in this part of the world at least - that woman,
and only woman, should legislate and govern; ancl
that here, if nowhere else, woman should be superior
to man.
In the galleries of the legislative bodies were hun
dreds of gentlemen, young and old, looking on, and
listening to the speeches made by the lady members.
How they fluttered and fannled and whispered and
smi',ed!
"Alas, for fallen man! " I said. Then, in an instant,
I had, as by one glance, looked into the pockets of
every lady and gentleman present, and also into the
acquisitive pockets of the brain of each; and the
result proved to me, that, as man held the purse
with.us, so woman held the purse in that wonderful
dream-land. To obtain money from their wives, those
weak, silly men would often resort to cajolery and
deceit. Only from their wives could they obtain
money for dress or any thing else; and so, as by com.
mon consent, neaily all the husbands had seemingly
decided that they had a right to get all they could out
of their wives, with outany reference to the question
whether the wife could afford it or not. Thus I found,
that the woman being the purse-holder, she the giver
and he the receiver, worked most disastrously; for
it made the interests of wife and husband separate:
the interest of the wife was not the interest of the
husband, his greatest care being to get all he could,
and spend all he could get.
2
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MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
I left those buildings, and took the street-cars. ilere
those nloble-looking, stately women escorted the gen.
tlemen to the cars, stood while the gentlemen wallked
in first, then demurely stepped on board, and paid the
car-fare for both.   What impressed me as much as
any thing I saw was, with what matter-of-course style
the gentlemen, in their dainty, flimsy, flying garments,
occupied the seats of the cars, while the ladies stood;
or, if a lady had a seat, with what noble demeanor she
rose and gave it up if a gentleman stepped on board.
I saw that those ladies took gentlemen to theaters
and places of amusement; ladies took those gentle men to church, and very kindly saw them safely home;
ladies told those gentlemen how beautiful they looked,
how prettily they were dressed, &c.; and I saw that
it gave these poor, weak-minded men much pleasure.
In ice-cream saloons and other places of refresh menrlt, these gentlemen were as kindly and as gallantly
taken by the ladies, who, in all cases, paid for the
refreshments.
I looked into the churches, which were principally
filled with elegantly-dressed gentlemen.  "Ah!" I
said to myself, "in religion these down-trodden men
find some consolation;" but, in an instant, I was
shocked by rea'lizing that more than half went from
custom, or to show their dress and see the fashions.
I looked into the prayer-meetings, and (being, of
course, all the time invisible) was also present at the
confessionals; and in both, the excess of men who
attended was a remarkable fact.
Men  got up sewing-societies and mite-societies;
and, in these, many sad, sorrowful men found a few
moments, sometimes, of happy, useful existence.
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HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
Occasionally, in those public places I found a man
who had risen above his fellows, who had become
famous in literature.  I met with some male poets,
and several conversant with science in a degree equal
to the best of women.  And I said to myself," If these
few meii have proved themselves equal to the best of
women, then is it not strong presumptive evidence
that all these men would be equal to women, were
they equally educated?"
Then I seemed in my dream to grasp the cause of
all this difference between the sexes; and that these
be.utifuil, noble women might have been in the same
deplorable condition had they been trained and educated as these degraded men, - without a motive in
life, limited in education and culture, shut out of
every path to honor or emolument, and reduced to
the condition of paupers on the bounty of the oppo site sex. I saw that the disadvantages under which
one sex thus labored constituted a curse that ex tended to both; and that, though the drudgery of the
kitchen had been removed, it was not the millennium,
by any means, as I had supposed in my last dream,
but only the beginning of the millennium. Man was
not the only sufferer, but the wrqng done to man acted
and re-acted on woman; for men, being defrauded
in their education, and nearly all avenues to pecue
iiiary independence closed to them, marriage, with
those half-educated, dependent creatures called men,
was necessarily their highest ambition. There was no
other way for them to obtain wealth or a home; hence
they devoted all their powers to the one grand object
of catching a woman with money; hence woman be.
came also the sufferer, being often trapped into mar
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MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
riage by one of these silly, worthless men, who had
learned well the arts and schemes of wife-catching.
I looked into the thought-cells of these ladies'
brains, and found stored therein, in almost every in stance, a decided belief that men constituted the
inferior, and women the superior sex.
There is a bright side, however, to every picture;
and even my dream had its bright side. For instance:
I had dreamed that I looked in on the gentleman with
pale face and haggard countenance, of whom I spoke
in my first dream as a man that "did his own work;"
and now, instead of toil and anxiety about meals,
washing, ironing, &c., he was in the garden with his
children, planting vegetable-seeds and flower-seeds;
and as I with pleasure noted his returning health and
strength, I listened to his talk with the children, whom
he was interesting with a story.
Hlow I lingered with that gentleman  I accompa.
nied him to the house, and saw him reading; I
looked over his book, and was delighted to find that
he was studying physiology. By and by he began to
talk with the children about the nerves, which he
called electric wires carrying messages to the brain;
which delighted the children: and I said in deep reverence, " Thank God, that man has been emancipated
from the kitchen! he will work out his own salvation:
the golden key of the universe has he grasped with
his own right hand, and it will open to him every
door in the arcana of Nature. Not for ever will man
be considered woman's inferior."
Then, like a flash, came to me the mental and moral
status of every man in that great country; and I
realized that with emancipation from the kit,chen had
20
I
I
.   
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
come a hungering and thirsting for education, for
mental aliment.
Then I turned; and, lo! I stood in the street, where
great posters caught my eye:
" MAN'S RIGHTS I
A LECTURE ON MAN'S RIGHTS,"
I read. 
Fain would I have attended a lecture on man's
rights; but, in my eagerness to do so, I awoke.
P.S. - It is morning; and, to my great joy, I have
had another dream. As I retired to my bed aftei
writing the above, instantly Dreamland was present,
and the thread taken up where it wars dropped. I
have attended lectures on Man's Rights, and Man's
Rights Conventions; all of which I must write down
at once, even if my husband has to go without his
breakfast; for dreams so often take to themselves
wings and fly away I
DREAM NUMBER, THREE.
WHo can divine the philosophy of dreams? Who
can account for the fact that persons visit again and
again places they have never beheld by.physical
eyes, and talk with people they have only known in
Dreamland?  Hlow real become to us the places and
the people we have repeatedly visited in our dreams I
Who have not experienced something of this reality
in their own dreaming?
21 
2MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
But it does seem especially remarkable to me, that,
after having penned down at midnight one dream, I
should, on returning to my pillow, have found myself
i n the v    ery spot where my late dream ended; again
i n    that strange city, again looking at the large posters
headed, -
"MAN'S RIGHTS I I
MR. SAMMIIE SMILEY, MR. JOHNNIE SMITH, AND OTHERS,
Will address the meeting on the
RIGHTS OF MANI"
I was pleased on coming to these words: "Discus.
sion is invited."  "I will go," I said, and turned to
follow the crowd; but, as by magic, was transferred to
one of the large cooking-establishments which I saw
in my first dream, and soon recognized it to be the
same.
There were the huge machines at work cooking
dinner, while in a comfortable rocking-chair sat the
same gentleman who had in that same dream showed
me over the establishment.  He was reading a newspaper.  "Ah!" he said, as he looked up from his
paper, " glad to see you, madam. You see I have time
to read while the dinner is cqoking. All goes on well.
We supply one-eighth of the city with meals, and
everybody is satisfied, nay, more than satisfied: they
are delighted with the arrangement; for every poor
man is relieved of washing, ironing, and cooking.
And yet all this is done at less cost than when every
house had its little selfish, dirty kitchen."
"And what is this about' man's rights'?" I asked.
"I see posters all over your city, headed,'Man's
Rights I'"
22 
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
He smiled as he replied, "Well, madam,  emanci.
pating man from the drudgery of the kitchen has
given him leisure for thought; and, in his thinking, he
has discovered that he labors under many wrongs, and
is deprived of quite as many rights. The idea of
men lecturing, men voting, men holding office, &c.,
excites considerable ridicule; but ridicule proves
nothing."
"Are you going to the lecture?" I asked.
"I will go if I have company," he replied; "but it
would not look well for me to go alone: besides, I
would be afraid to go home so late."
I made no answer; but I thought musingly, "Afraid!
afraid of what? of what can these men be afraid?  I
wonder if there are any wild beasts prowling around
this strange city at night.  Perhaps there are wolves
or mad dogs; but then he is a man, and could carry a
revolver and protect himself."  But, as by a flash, the
truth came to me, and I wondered I had not thought
of it before. In this land, woman is the natural pro
tector; and so, of course, he was afraid to go without
a lady to take care of him.
I had scarcely arrived at this conclusion, when I
found myself en rapport with every husband inl that
city.  " I would like to go to the lecture on'men's
rights,'" I heard one man say to his wife very
timidly.
"I shall go to no such place," replied his wife loftily;
"neither will you.' Man's rights,' indeed! " 
" Let us go to the lecture," said another husband to
his wife, with a pleasant smile on his face.
"No, no, my dear," replied the lady: "I like you
just as you are; and I don't admire womanish min.
23 
MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
Nothing is iiore disgusting than feminine men.  We
don't want men running to the polls, and electioneer.
ing: what would become of the babies at such
times?"
Then I looked in on a bevy of young boys ranging
in age froln sixteen to twenty. How they did laugh
at the very mention of "man's rights," as they put
on their pretty coats and hats, looking in the mirror,
and turning half round to see how their coat-tails
looked!
"Man's rights!" said one. "I have all the rights I
want."
"So have I," said a young boy of nineteen.  "I
don't want any more rights."
"We'll have rights enough, I presume, when we
get married," said a tall boy of seventeen, as he
touched up the flowers in his pretty hat, and perched
it carefully on his head.
" Are you all ready?" said a lady, looking into the
room.  "Come, I want you all to learn your rights tonight. I warrant that after to-night you will want to
carry the purse, don the long robes, and send us ladies
into the nursery to take care of the babies!"
Hundreds of ladies and gentlemen were on their
way to the meeting; and it rejoiced me greatly to
find in the hearts of many of the ladies a profound
respect for the rights of man, and a sincere desire
that man should enjoy every right equally with themselves.
Then I found myself in the lecture-room, which was
well fille(! with ladies and gentlemen, many of whom
seemed greatly amused as they whispered and smiled
to each other. Very soon three little gentlemen and
24 
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
one rather tall, thin, pale-faced gentleman walked to
the platform, and were received with great demonstrations of applause and suppressed laughter. The
audience were evidently not accustomed to hear gen.
tlemen lecture.
"How ridiculous  those men look!" I heard one
elderly lady say.  "What does it look like to see a
parcel of men pretending to make speeches, in tteir
tawdry pants and fly-away coat-tails, covered with
finery and furbelows?"
"They sadly lack the dignity," said another female,
"that belongs to ladies and long robes."
"They are decidedly out of their sphere," I heard
another remark.
Thie meeting was opened by the tall gentleman being nominated as president, who at once introduced
Mr. Samrmie Smiley to the audience, remarking that
Mr. Sammie Smiley, with Whom they were probably
all acquainted by reputation, would address the audience on the all-imnportant subject of Man's Rights.
"Sammie Smiley!" said a young lady contemptuously.  "Suppose we should call ourselves Lizzie instead of Elizabeth, or MIaggie instead of Margaret.
Their very names lack dignity."
Mr. Sammie Smiley stepped to the front of the platform with remarkable self-possession for one of the
gentlemen of that Dreamland.  Hie wore a suit of
black silk,- coat, vest, and pants all alike, bordered
with broad black lace. Hie wore no ornaments, except
ear-rings, a plain breastpin, and one or two rings on
the fingers. Very good taste, I thought.
"Ladies and gentlemen,"l he said, "our subject this
evening is the Bights of Man; but to properly under.
25 
MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
stand this question, it would be well, before consider
img man's rights, to define his wrongs."
" Hear, hear! " applauded the audience.
"Education," h, continued, "commences with child.
hood; and men's wrongs also commence with child
hood, inasmuch a  they are restricted from  healthful
physical exercise. The merry, active boy, that would
romp and play lile his sister, is told that I't would be
improper for a boy.  lHow often your little son has to
be reminded that a boy must not do so and so: he
must be a dear little gentleman, and not rough and
boisterous like a girl.
" He is kept in over-heated rooms; seldom breathes
the pure air of heaven; and when he is taken out, how
different his dress from that of the girl! Look at his
flimsy panits of white muslin; look at his flimsy
jacket and paper shoes: and contrast them with the
warm cloth dress, the substantial over-garments, and
thick shoes of the girl! Think how seldom the boy
is permitted to inhale the ]ife-giving, open atmosphere I
The girl may romp and play in the snow, climb fences
and trees, and thus strengthen  every muscle; while
the little pale-faced boy presses his nose against the
windowpane, and wishes -. alas! vainly - that he,
too, had been a girl.
"The course of training for our boys causes weak.
ness and disease in after-life, and more than a natural
degree of mrnuscular inferiority. The pale faces of boys
are a sad contrast to the rosy-cheeked girls in the same
family.  In our boys is laid, not by Nature, but by
ignorance and custom, the foundation for bodily weakness, consequently dependence and mental imbecility:
in our girls, muscular strength and their accompani.
26 
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
ments, independence and vivacity, both of body and
mind.  Were boys subject to the same physical train.
ing as girls (and no valid reason can be given why
they should not be), the result would prove that no
natural inferiority exists.
"True education I conceive to be the harmonious
development of the whole being, both physical and
mental. The natural or physical is before the intellectual. First the stalk, then the ear, and then the
full corn in the ear.   Through ignorance of these
primary truths, many well-intentioned fathers hurry
their children to premature graves.
"Why is it that, of all the children born, one-fifth
die annually?  Can not this large mortality be traced
to the present ignorance of males?   Can it not be
traced to their flimsy and imperfect educational train.
ing? If men had their rights, were all literary institutions as free to one sex as to the other, our young
men  would  be taught what is of the utmost  importance for them to know, but what is kept sedu
lously from them; viz., a knowledge of mental and
physical science.
"Let man be educated as liberally as woman; let
him be made to feel the value of a' sound mind, and
that the brightest ornament to man, as well as woman,
is intellect: then, and not until then, will he stand
forth in all his beauty.
"We frequently hear that woman's mind is superior
to man's; and therefore he ought not to have equal
educational facilities.  If, as is stated by the oppo.
nents of man's rights, men are naturally and necessa.
rily inferior to women, it must follow that they should
have superior opportunities for mental culture. If,
27 
MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
on the other hand, men are by nature mentally equal
to women, no reason can be given why they should
not have equal educational facilities."
In the midst of the audience, a beautiful, stately
woman rose, and said, that, if it was not out of order,
she would like to ask a question: Did not the literature written expressly for men - gentlemen's magazines, gentlemen's fashion-books, &c.,- prove their
inferiority?  This question caused a laugh, and round
after round of applause; but the little gentlemanspeaker smilingly replied, that many gentlemen never
read the trash prepared for them just as simple reading
is prepared for children: but the works written for
women to read, they study and digest, feeling that
they were as much for them as for women.   The
lecturer then continued by stating the appreciative
estimates of the truths of science and philosophy
evinced by men as well as women, which would be
the case to a still greater extent as the opportunities
for culture were increased, when gentlemen's books
and their flimsy trash would disappear; that even
were man weaker in jtdg-ment than woman. it did hot
follow that he should never use it; and, if women did
all the reasoning for man, itwould not be surprising
if he had lost the power to reason.
"Pretty good, Mr. Sammie Smiley," said a lady
near me.
" Snmiley can reason pretty well: that is pretty good
logic," remarked another.  Then applause after applause arose, accompanied by stamping and clapping
of hands, while some young folks in the back of the
lhall crowed like roosters.
It was really very funny; but Mr. Sammie Smiley
28 
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
took no notice of the proceeding. He referred to the
exclusion of men from nearly all occupations, from
governing States to measuring tape; also that men
were paid only one-third of the wages of women, even
for the same work, their occupations being mainly re.
stricted to sewing and teaching; while women could
do both these, and whatever else they chose. He
urged the gentlemen to push their way into the employment and professions of women, and be equal
sharers in the rights of humanity.
Mr. Johnnie Smith then made an excellent speech
on man's civil and political rights; but the discussion
that fallowed so interested me that I can not at this
moment recall it.  When he sat down, a lady arose,
and said, that, as discussions were allowed, she desired
to make a few remarks.
"Take the platform I take the platform!" said several voices, which she accordingly did.
"What ease! what dignity I " said I mentally, as
she stood there in her long, flowing robes.  "Ah,
woman! thou art verily transfigured."
Then I looked around on that audience, and am
compelled to say that the comparison between the
sexes was any thing but flattery,to the gentlemen.
Woman as I am, I love above all things to behold the
beautiful face of a woman; but here was womanly
beauty exceeding our highest conceptions; and in
)rofound reverence I said, "Our Father in heaven, I
thank thee for human beauty. Teach us the laws of
beauty, that we, thy children, may people this earth
with beautiful beings. Homeliness is akin to igno.
rance and sin; while beauty of form and beauty of
intellect constitute God's best gifts to mortals.
29 
MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
"Those two gentlemen," said the lady, " have given
us many good things to-nighlt.  There are very few
persons who do not know that our sons and husbands
ought to be better educated and better paid for their
labor; but shall we, for this reason, make them presidents and senators?   How would they look in tIhe
senate-chamber in their style of dress, so lacking in
dignity? Why, we should have them quarreling and
pulling hair very soon!"
"IHa, ha I " laughed the audience.
"No, no, gentlemen! you can discuss fashion and
money-spending far better than national affairs. Besides, what would become of the babies? Do you propose that we, the women, shall take these your duties
upon us? Depend upon it you are wrong, gentlemen:
the sphere of man is home; and I am. decidedly opposed to taking man out of his sphere. Let us for a
moment see what Nature teaches on this subject; let
us look at man divested of his embroidery and trim.
ming; look at his angular, long form; look at his hairy
face.  Is he not in his outward structure and appearance more allied to the lower animals? Look at him,
and do you not at once think of the monkey? [Hear,
hear!]  Now turn to woman.  Look at her! Does
not Nature delight in curves as in lines of beauty?
"See how the planets as they revolve in their orbits
delight in curves? It is Nature's perfect method of
form and motion. Now look at woman's beautifully
curved face and bust, and compare her form in its
curved outlines with the angular outlines of man's form,
and tell me if Nature herself has not put the stamp
of inferiority on man I  Ah, woman's face is enough! I
No mask of hair does she wear; but clear as the sun
4
30 
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
and fair as the moon shines clearly every feature, thus
conclusively attesting her superiority.  Again: how
well Nature knows the superiority of woman and the
inferiority of man, inasmuch as she has chosen woman
for maternity. Ah! Nature knew where to find the
perfect mould for her handiwork; Nature knew which
is the superior sex:
"' Very near to the infinite nature,
Very near to the hand of God,
More rich than the hills of Beulah,
Which the white feet of angels trod,
Is the sacred heart of woman;
The nature by which alone
The divine can become embodied,
And the spirit reach its home.'
" Let us look at this matter from another stand-point.
Nature is harmonious in all her parts. If, as I have
proved, woman is physically superior, then she is
mentally superior; and as man is physically inferior,
so, as he must be harmonious in all his parts, hie is
necessarily and unmistakably inferior in all other
respects."
I thought in my dream that I was greatly dissatisfied with the lady's speech, and I did pity the little
gentlemen on the platform who were forced to hear
so much about their inferiority. 
"One more argument," said the lady, "and I am
done; and this argument is also drawn from Nature.
Woman has phrenologically a larger organ of language than man. Now, what does this teach us? It
teaches us this (and it ought to teach every man the
same truth): that woman i the natural orator; that it
is she who should be the lecturer, the speech-maker,
the orator, and not man. It teaches us that women
31 
MAN'S RIGHTS: OR,
as senators and representatives, as lecturers and orators, are where they belong, where Nature intended
they should be. It teaches us more than this: that,
as man has smaller language than woman, his sphere
is the domestic; is the quiet, the silent, the unobtru.
sive; is one of silent influences, not public and demonstrative like that of woman."
She sat down, and I was really glad. ",Woman su.
perior to man!" I exclaimed to myself.  "Well, some
people can prove any thing.  I do hope that little
gentleman will demolish their sophistry."  But, just
as Mr. Sammie Smiley arose to reply, I awoke; and,
behold! it was all a dream; and I gladly realized, that,
in this waking world of ours, man is not considered
the inferior of woman, neither is he deprived of his
just rights; and I wish sincerely that I could trans.
fer our men to their Dreamland, and that there, at
least, in God's universe, there might  be one spot
where men and women could stand side by side as
equals.
DREAM NUMBER FOUR.
IT is said that much dreaming is the result of much
eating late at night. However this may accord with
the experience of others, very confident am I that
my dreaming is not thus caused.
When quite a child, I used to visit, in my drfams, a
mountain region in which some excavations were
going on; but, being there only at night, I never saw
any one at work.  An old man leaning on a staff, however, invariably met me, and would show me the prog.
ress made since a previous visit. Sometimes he would
32 
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
walk with me up a mountain, then down into a valley,
where he had a rough log-cabin.   This region of
Dreamland has been visited by me hundreds of times
in my sleep, all those years from childhood to the
present time.  I meet the same old gentleman, take
walks with him in various parts of this same mountain, converse with him on the progress of the.exca
vation, improvements made, &c.
But now to my fourth dream of that strange land
where women are considered superior to men.
I dreamed: and, lo! I stood in the same hall where
I had attended the meeting on "Man's Rights; " but
every seat was vacant. Then I heard the murmur of
voices; and, very soon, people began to pour into the
hall.  Into the minds of those people I had the power
to look; and in nearly all was a profound belief
ia the rigits of me-i.  Then I turned me about, and
looked; and, lo! the capacious hall was filled to overflowing. Several ladies and gentlemen were on the
platform; but what did it mean?   there were the
veritable Mr. Sammie Smiley and Mr. Johnnie Smith;
but they looked fifteen or sixteen years older than
when I saw them before, their hair being liberally
sprinkled with gray.
To an old lady near me I remarked how strange it
was that their hair should have thus turned gray in a
febv days.  She looked at me wonderingly, and then
smilingly replied, "You are probably a stranger: those
two gentlemen have been gray for some years."
But," I rejoined, "the last time I saw them, they
were young, and had not a gray hair."
"Ah I " said-the lady pleasantly; "but time will make
us all gray. When those gentlemen commenced the
8
33 
MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
agitation of man's rights, they were young; but
twenty years has made a difference."
Twenty years! what did it mean?   I had just
begun to rub my eyes to see if I was asleep, as I have
a habit of doing when dreaming any thing unpleasant,
when Mr. Johnnie Smith came forward to speak.  He
demanded the franchise for men forthwith. Hie was
clad in black velvet, but without trappings of any
kind. While he was speaking, it seemed to me that
I had the power of passing, unseen by the audience,
from one speaker to the other, and looking into their
thoughts.   Some of them were so beautifully true
and earnest, that I was delighted.  Others were full
of parade; and I saw written in their souls the word
FASHIONABLE in large letters. In vain I asked myself, What does this mean? I could see no connection
between this word and man's rights. But just then
Mr. Johnnie Smith finished his speech by saying, "We
are going to make man's rights FASHIONABLE!"
Then, in the twinkling of an eye, I seemed to see
those gentlemen speakers stand up; and lo  how the
majority were tricked off in finery! One, I remember, was dressed in pants of green-silk velvet, with
little flounces of the same Material from the foot to
above the knees; a blue-velvet vest, with little flounces
of green up to the pockets, and at a corresponding
distance each side of the button-holes and buttons;
-a blue-velvet swallow-tailed coat, trimmed with green
flounces and fringe down the firont, round the sleeves,
and round the coat-tails, which, under the influence of
a "Grecian bend," were duly projected in the most
fashionable style: the whole attitude, I am almost
ashamed to say, suggesting that of a monkey standing
on two feet, that had been accustomed to use four for
34 
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
that purpose.  I must have laughed aloud in my sleep
at this, so greatly did I feel amused.  One glantice
around the platform showed that every gentleman on
teI( platformattitudinized in a similar manner, except
Mil. Sammie Smiley and Mr. Johnnie Smith.
But I must finish the description of this exquisitely
falshionable young gentleman, whose name was Master
Willie Sandy.  Well, Master Willie's little head was
graced with a little green-velvet cap in which were
four blue feathers, pointing east, west, north, and
south.  In Master Willie's hands, which were covered
by red gloves, was a tiny porte-moiinaie, with the
little chains of which his tapering fingers toyed while
lie spoke.  On coming forwvard to address the audience, the projection of his coat-tails, in connection
with his fashionable stoop, imparted the appearance
of his being about to fly.  But he talked very prettily
on man's rights generally and particularly, even saying something in derogation of that fashionable life,
which, as the poor boy hlad been taught, was  the
alpha and omega of existence.   He concluded by
stating that he was engaged in the study of engineer
ing and of the higher branches of mathematics, and
that he found nothliing very difficult in either; at which
remark some savans in the audience were vastly
amused.   l He retired amidst loud applause, much of
which was decidedly ironical. 1 was pained to hear
such remarks as, "Willie better take off his Grecian
bend;" "He had better take off his fashionable gear
before he pretends to talk about the dignity of men,
men's rights," &c.
Then another gentleman came to the front of the
platform. He was tall for a man, dressed in gold and
black?  - black satin i suit trimed with gold-colored
35 
MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
satin folds, with a Grecian bend of enormous size,
so that his coat-tails projected yet more than those of
Mr. Willie Sandy. He read a speech, or essay, on
man's rights, which was very dry and uninteresting:
Then followed a little gentleman dressed in black,
without trimming of any kind. I saw hle had a gold
watch hung round his nleck by a gold chain: a plain
linen collar and cuffs completed his toilet. He remarked, that many colleges were now open to men,
and that thousands and tens of thousands of young
men educated therein had proved themselves equal
to women; that governments should not be upheld
merely to honor or create big-bugs, but more for the
benefit of the governed, all of whom had a right to
participate in making the laws.  This was not a question as to whlethler men or women should be the
governing class; but it was a question of human
rights, universal rights, the rights of humanity.
"That is good," said several, as I moved again
among the audience: "that was a sensible dress and
a sensible speech."  "What," asked another, "b rings
these fantastically dressed men on the platform?"
"Don't you know?" replied another: "why, Mr.
Johnnie Smith and some others are resolved to make
man's rights fashionable." 
Then I thought in my dream that Mr. Sammie
Smiley commenced to address the meeting; and I was
so pleased that I can remember most of what he said.
He began,  "Friends, twenty years have passed away since
we inaugurated this movement:  many of us have
grown gray in the cause. Allow me to give you an
outline of its history. Almost simultaneously with
its inauguration, a few of us came together, and, being
36 
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
desirous to begin at the beginning of man's wrongs,
and save the generation of young children that were
growing up around us, we commenced a' Children's
Rights Society.' We held meetings everywvhere on
this subject; gentlemen and ladies joined us, giving
their time and money to the cause. Small were the
beginnings; but thousands joined our ranks who were
not, they said, believers in men's rights: man's rights
brought its thousands, but clhildren's rights its tens
of thousands. Children's rights are the foundation of
both man's and woman's rights; for we are laboril)g
for the rights of humanity as a whole. In the first
place, lectures were given to fathers and mothers on
physiology.  Halls were rented.  We  moved slowly,
but surely. On every Saturday afternoon, lectures on
scientific subjects were given to children.  Science
was simplified and illustrated by. appropriate apparatus, and the children instructed in Nature's owumethod, not by pouring in, but by bringing out their
own inherent powers.  By degrees, halls were built
in every large city, and devoted to the rights of children; and so successful were the methods of instruction adopted, that, in many places, they almost superseded our common schools.
"Allow me to specify a few examples. You all
know the miserable methods of teaching that not long
since were nearly universal: how science was
fenced in by big words and obscure phraseology; you
know how our children were confined six or seven
hours daily in a dreary, miserable school-house, and
how, as a general thing, the children hated the very
idea of school. Now look into one of our large halls
devoted to the rights of children. Observe the cliemical room. A number of pneumatic troughs meet your
37 
MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
eye, at each of which is a child making chemical
experiments, with the aid and under the supervision
of skillful professors.
"The geological room is furnished with large assortments of specimens.  To every fifty children a
tutor is assigned: they ramble through the country to
collect specimens and observe the various formations,
-.excursion-trains being frequently engaged in taking them to distant localities to see for themselves
hot springs, mountains, canyons, stalactites, stalag
mites, &c.  Ask those children if they like to study.
In an instant they exclaim,'Wlhy, yes I it is delightfuil!'
"PPhysiology has been taught on the same principles: nothing has been held back. The uses of every
organ of the body have been so explained, that, in relation thereto, the idea of vulgarity has disappeared,
and secret vices have departed; for knowledge is
power, -power to do right.  Instead of the leaden
eyes and feeble brain, our young men are vigorous,
both in mind and body.
"Along with all this have been given lectures and
lessons to adults; and, from morning to night, there
are thlousands in every city beig educated in all that
pertains to the laws of life.
"Twenty years have passed: those who were little
chlildren when we began have now grown to unanhood and womanhood, and the majority of our young
boys are nowv ready advantageously to exercise tlie
franchise whenever they obtain it.
"Do you talk to me of the fashionable class, the
moneyed class, who have all the time been either passive on-lookers or active opponents?   Do you talk
now of making man's right/cfaq4J?~o.4le i trickig- Out,t
38 
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
its advocates in the senseless gewgaws of fashionable
society, and investing our reform with its weakness
and folly?
"It can not be done. We have built our temple with
divine corner-stones. While physiology has broken
the physical bonds and bands with which fashion
has bound  us, enlabling our boys and girls to be
dressed in loose and comfortable clothing, our thoughts
have been unbound and purified by corresponding
mental training. Children of both sexes can be safely
trusted to study together, play together, and when
thley grow to men and women, mingle together iii all
business relations, to the advantage of each and all.
"Though despised at first by some of the friends
of man's rights, and regarded as a' side issue,' lavinIg
little or nothing to do with the main question, it
having been held that we should confine ourselves to
the advocacy of the franchise for men (which ob.
tained, it was claimed that all the rest must follow),
yet the movement for childreni's rights  has been
proved, by twenty years' experience, to have been
the most powerful engine of success; for to-day there
are millions of young men fully prepared judiciously
to exercise the firanchlise, and. millions of young
women who have studied side by side with these
young men, and are thus able, from personal knowledge, to realize the capacity of men, to acknowledge
their rights, and to desire, that, in business, in politics,
and in the household, they should continue to walk
side by side.
Children's rights   a branch, if you so please, of
the man's-rights movement  are, in fact, its foundation; while the right of franchise is the crown, the sum.
mit, the top-stone."
39: 
MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
Round after round of applause followed the conclusion of his speech: so loud and so continued were the
cheers, that I awoke, and lo 1I it was a dream.
DREAM NUMBER FIVE.
I HAVE just awakened from another visit to the
land of dreams. So vivid is my recollection of every
thing I saw and heard, that I am greatly inclined to
the belief that I have visited one of the planets; and
have been asking myself a number  of  questions
such as these:  If time and space are almost nothing
to the spirit, if spirit can travel more quickly than
light,- yea, almost as quickly as thought, - may I not
have visited one of the planets?  And as the physical
condition of the world so greatly resembled that of
our own as to seem to me identical, and as the peo      ple were, in both physical and mental structure, so like
ourselves, except that the women were superior to
the men, I am more inclined to that idea than ever.
On this, my last visit, I observed one or two very im     portant facts:  First, there was frost and snow; and
second, the days and nights did not perceptibly differ
in length firom those of this earth. HTence, though I
may subject myself to ridicule, though I may be
laughed at as a visionary, I must own that I am in     clined to believe that I have visited in my dream the
planet Mars.
Another fact tends to substantiate this idea. I dis     tinctly remember  standing by my bedside as  the
dream terminated, and then awaking to the conscious.
* 9*
40
I 
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
ness that my spirit stood there looking at my body
asleep..  It was but a moment certainly; but this
double consciousness, in connection with the circumstances above mentioned, and others even more deci.
sive, that will be hereafter specified, are such as to
give a strong probability to the hypothesis, that, in
this instance, the impossible (or what is currently
deemed such) has been achieved, and even spectrum
analysis (which embodies the latest developments in
astronomical science) is outdone.
In this my last dream I found myself in a large
public library; and who should enter but Mr. Sammie
Smiley and Mr. Johnnie Smith, accompanied by two
beautiful women.'Then followed several ladies and
gentlemen, whom  I at once recoglnized as those I
had seen at the meeting on man's rights. There, too,
was the lady who had so amused and delighted the
audience by her speech on maii's inferiority. Then
followed several introductions, from which I learned
that said lady's name was Christiana TlIistlewaite.
She took from her pocket a newspaper, in which was
a report (which she read) of a lecture delivered by
an 0old woman who was on the editorial staff of a lead ing metropolitan paper. The lecturer considered that
the recent extensive employment of men in stores in a
neighboring city had proved detrimental to the morals
of the sex; inasmuch as by opening up to them a
prospect of support by their own labor, instead of
being entirely dependent for a maintenance on their
ability to secure a well-to-do wife, they became care.
less of their reputations, their independence thus
tending to licentiousness. Mrs. Thistlewaite remarked,
that, althlough she (Mrs. T.) was decidedly opposed to
men transcending their legitimate sphere. she consid.
41 
MAN'S RIGHITS; OR,
ered the lecturer's position liighlly absurd. "Poor
old woman!" she added: "she has done goodservice
in her day; always, until within a year or two, working for the poor and down-trodden, against the rich
and powerful. She was especially useful in introducing co-operative households; but she is now evidently in her dotage. The paper can not afford to carry her
many years longer, if it means to continue firstclass."
While they talked together, and looked at the
books, some of them reclining in easy-chlairs or
on lounges, with books in their hands, I opened a
very large, handsome book, which I found to be a
Bible. " Well," I said, "this is just what I want;" so I
opened it, and began to look over thie passages of
Scripture which referred to woman.  I was astonished
nay, shocked- to find, at the very commencement,
that the whole history of the fall of man was reversed
as to the sexes. Adam was tempted by the serpent,
and gave the forbidden fruit to his wife; for which
reason it was said to the man that "she [the woman]
shall rule over thee," and "in sorrow thou [the
man] shall attend the children;" that a virtuous man
was a crown to his wife, and jis price above rubies;
"he layeth his hands to the spindle, and his hands
hold the distaff;" his wife being known in the gates,
when she sat among the elders of the land, &c.  Far.
ther on it was stated that husbands should obey their
wives, as the head of the man was the woman, even
as Christ was the head of the church; that it was
not becoming that a man should speak in the church;
but, if they would know any thing, let themtn ask their
wives at home.  "Why," I said to myself, " this Bible
has certainly been translated and probably compiled by
42 
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
women; for no man in this land would have so interpreted the Scriptures against his sex. Thus the women have strengthened themselves behind the Bible;
and so the poor down-trodden men are held in slavery
by means of this book, thus interpreted! "
While turning over the leaves, Mrs. Christiana
Tiistlewaite came to my side, to whom I said, "Are
all your Bibles like this, madam?"  at the same time
pointing to some of the preceding passages. She
smiled as she replied, "Certainly; they are all alike.
Our. Bible is translated from the languages in wlhich it
was originally written: wise, good wromell were the
translators; and I would like NlMr. Sammie Smiley and
Mr. Johnnie Smith to see those passages of Scrip.
ture."
"Those passages," rejoined the former gentleman,
"were never intended to be used to keep men in-an
inferior position, or to deprive them of their just
rights.  Those who wrote the books in the Bible, like
you, did not believe in man's rights; and they wrote
as they believed. God never said those men were
inferior to women; for in Christ there was neither
bond nor free, male nor female (Gal. iii. 28); but all
were one.  God, in his works, never utters the word
inferior; the sun shines and the flowers grow for all;
the earth brings forth enough of its fruits for all,
the varied diversities of manifestation beautifully
blending into one unity of design: and as the varied
contrasts and diversities and blending of color in
a painting produce a unity of expression, no color
being inferior or superior to any other, so Nature and
art alike belie any written word implying inferiority
of one sex to another, whatever may be the diversi.
43
t  
LM-AN'S RIGHTS; OR,
ties. Who says that God has made one sex inferior
to another utters a blasphemy."
Hiere several ladies gathered around Mr. Samnmie
Smiley and Mrs. Christiana Thistlewaite.
" We," continued the gentleman, "have only to ask
our own common sense what is right or wrong with
respect to man or woman, even as was askled by an
ancient reformer, once abhorred, now adored (nornminally),'Why even of yourselves judge ye not what
is right?' (Luke xii. 57).  You, ladies, have made
the laws, and you have made them to suit your.
selves; think you, that, if men as well as women
had the making of the laws, in marriage the  man
would have no control over property previously belonging to him, unless secured to him by a special
deed? Realize, ladies, if you can, what would be
your condition were the legal status of the sexes re.
versed! If a man owns property or has a store, he
is wronged by having no voice in the laws or regulations of the town or city in which he resides.  If
the wife die, the husband has the use only during
life of one-third of their joint property. If the husband die, however, the wife takes absolute possession
of the whole.  Man is thus wronged by being denied
the right of franchise; even the children of the
widower being in many cases subjected to the control of strange women appointed by a court, instead
of that of the remaining parent."
Mrs. Susan Thistlewaite then said to Mr. Jollnnie
Smith, "Allow me, sir, to ask a question. Why do
gentlemrnen, when they meet each other, occupy the
time entirely in frivolous conversation about love,
marriage, &c.?"
"Admitting," replied Mr. Smith, "the generality
44 
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE.IT?
and absurdity of the practice, it must be considered
as an unavoidable result of the conditions inaugurated
and upheld by those who would circumscribe man's
sphere, and limit his faculties to affairs, that, when
exclusively followed, tend to dwarf the faculties, and
make people narrow and  gossiping.  You, ladies,
would do the same were you in our position. Close
to you, ladies, as you have closed to us, all avenues
to honor and emolument; deprive you of education
and pecuniary independence, making you dependent
on the bounty of man; and would not the most important subject to you be marriage?"
"Mr. Johnnie Smith is right," I replied, as I
stepped into the very midst of them.  "In the land
where I reside, men have all the rights which you
ladies have in this country: men make the laws and
oppress women, just as, in this land of yours, women
make the laws and oppress men."
"Oh, oh! astonishing!" exclaimed several. "Do
tell us something about things there."
"Well," I continued, "ladies are the housekeepers."
"Ridiculous! " interjected two or three ladies.
"Ladies do all the sewing and knitting."
Howv they laughed!
"The men hold the colleges, and are educated
therein, only a few being open to women: the
majority of ladies are educated at common schools,
and a few at boarding-schlools."
"Ha, ha! oh, ho I! boarding-sclhools for ladies! fine
education that must be for women!"
"Go  on, go on!" called out several; "I never
heard any thing so ridiculous! Ha, hla, ha!"
" Men hold the purse, pay car-fares, pay for refreshluents, and stand when the cars are crowded,
45 
MAN'S RIGHTS; OR,
while the ladies sit.  Men  dress in plain clothes,
while women  are walking  advertisements of  dry
goods; men wear their hair generally short and clean,
while women not only wear their own hailr, but add
to it quantities of horse-hair, grease, and other materials, making of the whole a putrid, uncomfortable,
disgusting mass.  Our women decorate themselves,
too, with ribbons, as do your men, and have their
fashion-books; their dresses far excelling in absurd
ugliness and unhealthfulness any thing worn by your
men."
"Is it possible? how outrageously absurd and re.
pulsive!" they exclaimed; while a ringing laugh
filled the library, and more ladies entered.  "Go on,
go onl" said several.
* Men, and only men, make the laws, as senators,
representatiyes, judges, &c. No women vote or legislate: in short, the whole matter is reversed."
"How  are the women  intellectually?" asked a
lady.
"As a general rule," I replied, " they are just in the
condition that men are here. By a singular coincidence, an old man who edits a leading metropolitan
journal in my country recently delivered a lecture
(at a place called Bethlehem, I think), in which he
took the same position, as regards the employment of
women in stores, and their morals, thlat your old.
woman editor is reported to have taken in regarid to
the employment of men in stores here. The objection
is probably equally well founded in both cases; and the
parallelism is so far complete, that our editor is getting to be termned an old woman or old granny;
those terms with us being used to designate weak.
ness in intellectual or executive operations." 
46 
IOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
Then Mr. Sammie Smiley stepped on a chair, and
began: "Friends, you have heard what tl-e stranger
has told us. What do you think of it? Does it not
prove my position that those ladies would be no wiser
or better than we are, were they in our position?
And does it not prove conclusively that not sex, but
condition, is the root of the matter?"
"I do not believe the story told us by the stranger,"2
said Mrs. Thistlewaite. " Man superior to woman!
men legislate I Oh! it won't bear the light of day for
an instant!"
"Where is that stranger?" said several voices.  I
had entered a large room opening from the library,
and was looking at several portraits of distinguislled
stateswomen;  for no man's face was among  tlhem.
When I heard the inquiry, I returned to the library.
Then the crowd gathered around me in great curiosity.  "So you live in a land," said one lady, "where
men have their rights, do you?"
"Yes," I said.
"And do you mean to say that you were never permitted to vote?"
"I never was permitted; but I have protested
against the exclusion."
"What is the name of your land?" asked several.
"The United States of North America."
"Where is that?"
"Do you ask where it is?" I replied; "why, look
at your maps."
"Hlere is the map of the world," said Christiana
Thistlewaite.
I went up to the map and looked it over; and, lo I
it was not like our maps at all. There were the frigid
zones, the equator and the ecliptic, the parallels of
47
.:ltl
i   F 
MAN'S RIGHITS.
longitude and latitude, the tropics and the poles, to
which were even added many isothermal lines; but
the distribution of the land and water was very different in many parts, though in others maintaining
something of a general resemblance.
"This map is not correct," I said.
Then arose a general derisive laugh.  "I am very
sorry," said Mrs. Christiana Thistlewaite. " It would
have given me great gratification to see that land of
man's rights, my friend; but it has vanished! it is not
to be found on the map! Ah!" she continued in bit.
ter sarcasm, "it is too bad that the beautiful land where
men are the lords of creation, where men'are the
superior race, and women the inferior, can not be
found."
Confused and astonished by the map, confused and
astonished by these puzzling remarks, I awoke. The
map, however, had made such an impression on my
mind, that I drew an outline of it at once; then I consulted a frieind of mine versed in astronomy, to whom
I showed the diagram. iHe took down a strange work
containing some excellent engravings of the planets
as viewed through telescopes of the highest magnify.
ing powers, and one of them corresponded, in the distribution of land and water, exactly to my diagram.
Yes, there was my Dreamland, there my planet,
the planet MARS 
THE END.
48