WOMAN:
HER DIGNITY AND SPHERE.
BY A LADY,
PUBLISHED BY THE
AMERICAN TRACT SOCIETY,
150 NASSAU-STREET, NEW YORK.




ENTERED according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by the
AMERICAN TRACT SOCIETY, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court
of the United States for the Southern District of New York.




I. Truthfulness ----    --         --     - PAGE   21
II. In Honor Preferring one Another ----------      46
III. The Fear of Ridicule ----- - - - ----   ---     68
IV. Home Duties ----------------------------- 86
V. What Shall We Read? - - -----------------      109
VI. What Shall We Sing? —------------------ 124
VII. The Friends that We Make —------------ --       35
VIII. Self-denial —-------------------------         150
IX. School Life --------------- - - ----  -----    160
X. Habit —---------------------        -------  - 174
XI. Conversation —----------------------         - 186
XII. Hospitality —---------------------------- 199
XIII. Dress —--------------------------------        212
XIV. Amusements —--------------------------- 232
XV. Domestic Relations —---------------------- 253
XVI. Woman's Work in the Church —------------ 271








WOMAN:
HER DIGNITY AND SPHERE.?^IVoI.NG        in an age of unparalleled activity, the capabilities and resources of man seemingly unlimited-an age of revolution, crowned heads swept
into obscurity, and Liberty sitting at ease
in the halls of despotism; old theories,
as old dynasties; passing into oblivion;
new forms, new views, new ideas, new
systems, new combinations coming and
going, meeting and mingling-an age
when the public mind is agitated with




6             WOMAN:
strange and intricate questions; the vital
forces of good and evil waging a mighty
warfare; speculation making bold advances, imagination running riot with reason-an age when the legitimate rights
and equality of the sexes are made the
topic of the hour; when the dignity of
woman is assailed, her sphere of action
discussed, her motives suspected, her capabilities analyzed, one crying out that
she has too little to do, and another asking, what more can she do?-it becomes
us to pause and ask ourselves, not for
the purpose of discussion, but as the
most simple and direct way of arriving
at the truth, what part or lot have we
in this advance movement?   Are we
standing at our posts, faithful in the service given us to do, valiant to do battle
against wrong, or are we stragglers loitering behind, a prey to the enemy, a
reproach to our Leader?




HER DIGNITY AND SPHERE.     7
Examples are not wanting to show
that a question simply put, has a tendency to rouse into activity the faculties
and affections of the mind, and not unfrequently, to change the purpose and
the character. If the simple questions
we incline to ask should lead a minority
of our sisters to pause and reflect before
they answer, the purpose that we have
in view will be accomplished-the object
of this little work fully met.
But lest some one about to cross on
the plank of expediency becomes confused and dizzy as she questions her own
individual aim and purpose, asking with
all humility, What can I do? we would
whisper, Nothing but what God has given
you the ability to perform; or in other
words, Any thing that you can do, and
do well.
" God said, Let us make man in our
image, after our likeness; and let them




8             WOMAN:
have dominion-so God created man in
his own image, in the image of God created he him: male and female created
he them." The singular and the plural
here used, and likewise male and female,
show equality, with essential differences
of temperament and constitution, out of
which must of necessity arise distinct
characteristics and individual duties.
It is with reference to these distinctive duties that speculations have arisen,
and theories have been shaped, to puzzle heads wise and unwise. We do not
propose to map out for woman a new
path, neither to combat nor annul popular error. We would simply and unostentatiously hold up the pattern given of
God, and we would in all humility ask,
Is this the standard to which womanly
perfection is now verging, and by what
means can the channel of her usefulness
be deepened, her influence extended?




HER DIGNITY AND SPHERE.      9
But I hear it whispered, "Woman's
duties have changed materially; they are
ten to one to what they were fifty years
ago." Yet if her duties have increased,
it does not change her nature, nor dim
the lustre of her individuality; she must
act, necessity is laid upon her. And if
woman is necessitated to exert herself,
this necessity is known and permitted
of God, and always for a wise purpose.
Our heavenly Father does not require
of his creatures what he has not given
them the ability to perform.
It is said with truth, that woman owes
every thing to Christianity. In former
times, among the lower classes, woman
was little more than a beast of burden;
in the upper circles she was carefully
guarded and tenderly treated, her beauty
increased by the costliest robes and most
brilliant jewels; for her sake knights
fought and champions died; set up for




10            WOMAN:
a prize she was won by the bravest: not
as a companion, but as a choice possession, to be petted for a season and then
laid aside. Where gospel privileges are
not known, her position now is much the
same, but where Christian influence is
felt, she has ever been the first to acknowledge it; and while it has moulded
and developed her to an equality with
man, to be his adviser, his co-worker,
his loved and loving companion, it has
deprived her of none of her charms, but
has, on the other hand, greatly increased
them. Like all radical changes, this has
been the work of time-a gradual elevation of character and position; and it is
not yet perfected, neither will it be until
the majority of thinking women realize
that they are created for something more
than enjoyment, understand something
of their own powers, and honestly strive
to exert those powers to the full extent,




HER DIGNITY AND SPHERE.    11
in the furtherance of truth and goodness
in the world
It is a serious question, as the mother
looks upon the little nestlings gathered
at her knee, and asks, "What is the great
object of a girl's education? What is the
end and aim of her life?" Looking upon
our little ones, our thoughts running out
into the unknown future, the question
comes to us as mothers, Cannot we teach
them that work is noble, that a true
development of body and mind is the
result of effort; that enjoyment is never
so satisfying as when it follows in the
wake of duty? Can we not teach them
to be frank without being immodest; to
be free without being extravagant; to
be helpful without being patronizing; to
be economical without stinginess? Can
we not teach them the higher law, without losing sight of the little amenities of
social life-the charms and graces, the




12            WOMAN.
little pleasant ways that render girlhood
so lovely?
The sculptor, in his studio, chips and
chisels and moulds according to the ideal
before him. The block of marble is to
him something more than a block of marble; he looks and studies, he thinks and
feels, and realizes the presence of the
angel there. He sees it, and he works
incessantly, that he may reveal it to the
gaze of others. Is it not thus as we look
upon the lovely child committed to our
care, an inhabitant of our workshop, to
be moulded, shaped, polished? Every
blow of the sculptor has a direct bearing
upon the future, he does not think to
perfect his work in a day; he chips and
chisels, and studies his model-it is his
life work; his energies are taxed, his
judgment brought into requisition, his
entire being absorbed in bringing out
and developing a form of loveliness fitted




HER DIGNITY AND SPHERE.    13
to awake and foster sentiments of pity,
love, compassion, or high and lofty purpose in the heart of the beholder. A faint
portraiture this of the mother's work,
"line upon line, precept upon precept,
here a little and there a little," moulding and shaping-while each word and
look and act has a direct bearing upon
the future-not a block of senseless marble, but a human soul, the beauty or
the deformity of which is to be developed through her instrumentality.
The sculptor does not fashion his block
having a preconceived idea in his mind
of the exact place and position whence
it will be viewed: he aims to make it
perfect, and this achieved, he knows that
it will be fitted to inspire the beholder
with the same sentiments; that it will
prove to be of value in any place or
locality where it may be set up.
In the education of our daughters are




14            WOMAN:
we not to follow the same plan? We
have no inherited rights and inalienable
possessions: fortunes are unstable; farmers become merchants; artisans become
lawyers; laborers become judges and
divines; rich men's daughters become
the wives of poor men, and the reverse.
Let education, therefore, be as broad
and general as possible.  Discipline,
strength, knowledge, are useful in every
position; for herself should a girl be
educated, not to make her a skilful musician, an amateur artist, a passable linguist; but to render her a strong, wise,
sensible woman, with a firm, pure principle of right in her heart. Secure this,
and she will grace any position, and be
ready for every duty.
But the objection has been made, and
may be made again, that much study is
not required of a woman. If it is needful for a boy to study, delving at Greek




HER DIGNITY AND SPHERE.     15
and Latin roots; searching through the
labyrinths of metaphysics, tangling his
brains with mathematics; dissecting, analyzing, and discussing, for the sole purpose of training and strengthening his
intellect, laying the foundation for a noble manhood, is it less necessary that his
sister should have the benefit of study
and discipline, to fit her for a noble
womanhood? Ought a sister, wife, mother, to have less discipline for the battle
of life, than a brother, son, husband?
Does any one fear that the woman, eating of the tree of knowledge, will become
too wise, discerning good and evil?
Knowledge with love, puffeth not up,
neither is it unseemly: rightly educate
a woman, and there is little danger of
her falling into forbidden paths. It is
the smatterer that becomes giddy and
falls. Compact knowledge, like the ballast in a ship, leads to security.




16            WOMAN:
Neither will the like amount of study
render the girl masculine, any more than
it will render the boy effeminate. Let
the sister and the brother take the same
college course, and through the length
and breadth of daily study and research,
the characteristics of each will be manifest. Mental development will not be
the same, any more than physical habit
and formation; the one still a girl, light,
graceful, loved, the other shy, backward,
and ill at ease, his boyishness a more
ungrateful garment than his sister's girlhood.
The word education covers more than
a college course, however. In the years
usually given to study, lessons are learned from the surroundings and circumstances of life, as well as from books.
The sculptor, in the beginning, makes
broad lines and chips freely, but as he
advances he is more cautious; a deep




HER DIGNITY AND SPHERE.     17
cut will mar his work; he looks closely;
the glancing of his chisel a hair's breadth
will change the expression, the slightest
deviation will affect the success of all
his toil. Thus, while books and the discipline of study are needful, answering
to broad lines and free chippings, moulding and giving shape, the expression is
the effect of right principle continually
exerted and never lost sight of; the outgrowth of home influence, without which
mere books will not suffice to educate.
Another object in study is thoroughness; an aim and a purpose, practical
and available if need be. Life is uncertain; the brightest hopes may fail; the
most flattering prospects elude our grasp.
A thorough understanding of branches
pursued will be so much capital, profitable under any circumstances, and sure
to be a source of satisfaction if the skies
are dark and lowering.
Woman.         2




18            WOMAN:
It is not unusual to hear it said ol
woman, that she lacks aim, going with
the tide, drifting, swayed, beaten, without well-directed purpose. If this is so,
is it not the effect of education?  Can
we not, as mothers, correct this tendency in our own daughters?  Cannot we
teach them that it is as disreputable for
a woman to be listless, idle, aimless, as
it is for a young man to have no regular
business.
If this reproach is and has been true
in the main, there are and have been
manifold wives and mothers that have
nobly stood at the helm, braving the
storms of life, and eventually landing
their precious cargo in a safe harbor.
All honor to such women, the meed of
a higher praise awaits them than we can
give. Our aim is to swell the number
of those who find it their highest delight
to mould and polish the jewels commit



HER DIGNITY AND SPHERE.    19
ted to their trust, working and waiting
for results sure to come in the higher
life attained, the noble manhood and
womanhood of their children. Could an
angel ask higher service than God himself has given woman, permitting her to
be the sharer and co-worker with man,
hastening the end for which he toils, sustaining him by her counsel, strengthening him by her love, making his home a
resting-place, whence he is to emerge
with armor bright and glistening.
Many a young man has been saved to
himself and to the world by the gentle
ministrations of a loving sister. Many
a father saved from despair by the timely aid of a daughter on whom he had
bestowed a careful culture, one who had
so improved her privileges, that when
the dark hour came she was able and willing to aid him in his business, and by
this means secure to him a home in his




20            WOMAN:
age and helplessness. There are others
who cheerfully stifle every thought of
self, giving themselves to incessant toil
in order to educate and bring up a family of orphan brothers and sisters. The
records of such lives may not be made
manifest here, but they are bright in
heaven.
It is no doubt to teach us what woman
is capable of doing, that so many shrinking, sensitive ones are left to do for themselves and for others. We should never
know the beauty of the stars but for
night and darkness; and woman's nature
cannot be seen in all its beauty, until
the winds of adversity have blown away
the tinsel and glare by which she was
surrounded. Diamonds are found in solitude, and the jewels of the mind only
become more precious when viewed by
themselves, independent of their setting.
Should it not be the aim of woman to




HER DIGNITY AND SPHERE.    21
use her abilities to the best purpose in
whatever position God has placed her,
using her privileges as stepping-stones;
lifting up -her own life and generously
aiding others, who, perchance have not
received as bountifully?  In view of
her individual accountability, ought not
every woman to let her influence reflect
only the true, the beautiful, and the good,
doing whatsoever her hands find to do;
thinking it the highest honor to be a
woman, a mother, to fashion, to Liuould,
and to polish jewels for the kingdom of
her God? And still, as mothers, is it
not necessary that our minds be stirred
in reference to the homely lessons needful every day, simple and unpretending,
but all-important, the groundwork of all
that is noble and good here, of all that
is bright and glorious hereafter?




I.
Truthfulness.
k~(AK)5J7T is said of one of the ancient
~  kings, that he had a mirror into
which he was accustomed to look,?v-'hen called to decide upon important matters connected with
his government and the well being of
his people. It was well for this ancient
king, and well for his people, that he
was blessed with a mirror, the simple
looking into which enabled him to dispense justice, to decide with wisdom, and
to dictate such laws as should be for the
furtherance of the public good. We are
not told that any one but the king was




TRUTHFULNESS.          23
in possession of such a treasure. Unlike
the people under this ancient king, such
a mirror has been given to each one of
us-a mirror of truth that reflects the
way and the manner so perfectly, that
by looking into it in all cases in which
a decision is to be made touching ourselves, or in reference to others, we are
enabled to know our duty.
Such a treasure is given to us mothers; and if the possession caused the
heart of the old king to rejoice, how
much more do our hearts overflow with
gratitude-as we look into the sweet
child faces committed to our keeping,
and think of our responsibility with regard to them-to be able to inquire of
it continually, "How shall we order the
child? How shall we do unto him?"
Looking into the mirror of God's word,
we find that first impressions are lasting, With our little ones clinging to




24            WOMAN.
our knees, we look into this mirror and
find that children were brought to Christ
by their mothers, that He blessed them,
and said, "Suffer little children to come,"
meaning that they were to come through
all time. We see the mothers leading
up their little ones to be blessed of God,
and thus we are taught to lead up our
children for his blessing, even when they
are babes in our arms drawing nourishment from our bosoms. Neither is it
sufficient to lead them to Christ; they
must be taught, trained for him, "that
our sons may be as plants grown up in
their youth; that our daughters may be
as cornerstones, polished after the similitude of a palace." This process of polishing is essentially the mother's. The
character of the child is yet unformed,
the smooth tablet of the heart is free of
outward impression.  What characters
are to be written there? What impres



TRUTHFULNESS.           25
sions made? What influences brought
to bear upon them?
Holding up the mirror, we are enabled
to see that TRUTHFULNESS is the first lesson to be written there. By this we do
not mean the merely opposite of what is
false, but the truth in all things, according to their capacity to receive it. Let
them see from the outset, that "life is
real, life is earnest," and that "death is
not the goal."  "Even a child is known
by his doings, whether his work be pure,
and whether it be right." How sweet
to feel the little clinging fingers, the serious look that creeps over their rosy
dimpled faces, as they make an attempt
to look for themselves into this wonderful mirror. Children are strangely imitative; what they see others do, that
they are inclined to attempt. The little
girl just beginning to totter over the
floor, presses her doll to her bosom,




26            WOMAEN.
hushes and rocks it precisely as she has
seen her mother or her nurse hush the
baby sister. To play with dolls is innate and perfectly natural; some one
says she cannot help it. True, it is in
keeping with her nature; but a phase of
her nature that would not have developed itself. Had she not seen it done,
she would not have originated it.
Not alone nursing dolls, but in " making believe to keep house," the little
girl uses the look, walk, and manner,
using the very words: small things, it
may be said, but the very things that
go to prove the necessity, as mothers,
of being true to ourselves, true to our
principles, our love of the good and the
beautiful reflected in the lives of our little ones. An eminent divine was once
asked how old a child must be before
there was reasonable hope of its being a
Christian. "Age has nothing to do with




TRUTHFULNESS.          27
it," was the answer; "love to Jesus,
trust, repose, confidence, are all qualities
that agree with the child's nature. As
soon as the child can understand to love
and trust his mother, then can he love
and trust Jesus. As the Friend of his
mother, Jesus will be his friend, loved
and honored."
Is not this true? And if true, can we
be too careful? These little imitators
looking to us morning, noon, and night,
bowing with us in supplication, we need
God's blessing on each act, as well as
on the food we eat-making our religion practical in our homes, with nothing
dark, cold, and stern, but warm, loving,
genial; looking to Jesus as a personal
friend, leaning upon him, talking with
him and of him just as we talk with and
of a beloved earthly friend, going to him
in times of trouble, in sorrow, and distress; making him the sharer of our joy,




28            WOMAN.
the one in whom we think, and move,
and feel, the Beloved whose presence is
the joy of our souls.
We all know how easy it is for our
children to love their relatives, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins; the little
reverential air on their laughing faces,
as they take the letters in their chubby
fingers, kissing the pictured semblance
of the distant loved one; sending messages as we write, asking questions, and
interested to the forgetfulness of play.
Would this be so if they were less imitative, less inclined to do as we do, to
trust as we trust, to love as we love?
And if this is so, cannot we incline them
to love with an abiding love things lovely and of good report?
Is it not a mistake to think a child,
because he is a child, must be petted,
fondled, and put aside as a toy; or eluded
as a hinderance, an obstacle in the way




TRUTHFULNESS.          29
of enjoyment? All the while the little
active brain is drinking in knowledge;
and the heart is like a roll of spotless
canvas on which pictures are to be
painted, if not by the mother, then by
the hand of another, for pictures will be
there.
A mother, whose daughters were the
pride and the ornament of her house,
being asked what was the secret of her
success in the education of her children,
replied: "From the first time I held them
in my arms, I endeavored to make themi
my friends, my companions as well as
my children. I let them see my love
for them, my interest in them; I studied
their habits, character, temperament;
how to benefit them was the one aim of
my life. Loving Jesus, I taught them
to love him, and in all our daily intercourse I was careful to be true to myself, true to my Christian profession,




30            WOMAN.
faithfully striving in my own life and
walk to set them an example that they
could safely follow."
The Bible says: " Train up a child in
the way he should go, and when he is
old he will not depart from it." Childhood is the time to lay foundations. Principles of truth implanted in the heart of
a child must have an effect upon his future. Samuel was given to God in his
infancy; Timothy was taught from a child
to fear the Lord; "the unfeigned faith
which dwelt first in thy grandmother
Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am
persuaded that in thee also."
In this Paul gives us to understand
the teaching given to Timothy, and the
fruits of it as seen in his life-" the unfeigned faith." If truthfulness is inculcated, there must be nothing feigned, no
deception, however harmless it may be
at the time considered. An English di



TRUTHFULNESS.          31
vine being at the house of a lady who
was desirous of spending the evening
with a friend, overheard her planning
how to deceive her little daughter, so as
to have the satisfaction of knowing that
the child was asleep before she left the
house. " I will just put on my cap and
lie down beside her, an4 she will think
that I am going to sleep."
"Madam," said the clergyman, as the
lady appeared before him, "would you
like your little daughter to grow up a
liar?"
The abruptness of the question, as well
as the horror connected with the thought,
caused the lady to burst into tears.
"Oh, no, sir; it would kill me'to have
my child become such a character."
"Then do not set her the example.
If you deceive her now, what security
have you that she will not deceive you
when she comes to act for herself?"




32            WOMAN.
"I had not thought any thing of this
kind; my child is so young," stammered
the lady.
"Young as your child is, she is old
enough to know the difference between
reality and pretence.  Do not permit
your child to learn deception from her
mother."
The expression of the face not unfrequently gives the idea of deception as
readily as words, saying one thing and
looking another. If we would bring up
our daughters to be as "cornerstones,
polished after the similitude of a palace," we must not weaken their faith,
and dim the lustre of their confidence in
us, by the use of deception in word or
deed.
Looking into this mirror continually,
keeps bright the links of parental relationship; each child a special gift, a
trust from God, an immortal mind to be




TRUTHFULNESS.          33
developed, a heart to be cultured, a soul
to be fitted for the service of God here,
an inhabitant of heaven hereafter. Prying little eyes looking into out-of-theway corners, now is the time to set before them all lovely pictures. How sweet
it. is to see the light of an awakened
understanding breaking over their gleeful faces, the curious gaze deepening into
absolute wonder. Now is the time to
make the impression, stamping in truthfulness what the favor and glitter of life
can never destroy. No after power is
superior to the influence of a mother in
infancy.  It is from us that the child
receives the most abiding and far-reaching impressions.
In view of this,. can we look into the
mirror too frequently? Can we consult
it too carefully, studying the requirements laid down in His word, suiting
them in measure to the infant capacity,
Woman.          3




34            WOMAN.
line upon line, precept upon precept?
"Thou shalt teach them diligently unto
thy children, and shalt talk of them when
thou sittest in thy house, and when thou
walkest by the way, and when thou liest
down, and when thou risest up." Again,
"Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."  Plainly then,
this is a personal duty, a duty that it is
the privilege of the mother to take to
herself. Blessed privilege! to sit with
our children on our knees, stringing
pearls and weaving cloth of gold, to be
fashioned and worn after we have passed
away. Starry eyes, dimpled mouths and
chubby clinging fingers, jewels given for
our adorning, will ye ever be more beautiful, more dearly prized?  Which of us
can forget the thrill of happiness when
invested for the first time with the sacred name of mother! Is there a joy
on earth to equal it? Is there a glory




TRUTHFULNESS.          35
to be compared to it? Is there place or
position for which she would exchange
it?
This joy, that floods our souls as the
great sea fills the laughing pools that
dimple the rocky shore, is to be reflected
in the bright, genial home: making it a
paradise for our children, its daily beauty to outshine what may be found outside. To realize this, great expenditure
is unnecessary. Magnificent dwellings,
large rooms and costly furniture, do not
of necessity make a happy home. My
neighbor over the way has all these, but
there are no little pattering footsteps in
her hall, no silvery voices to waken her
in the morning, no ringing laughter to
echo through the stately rooms, no gleeful little faces, no loving hand-clasp,
no white, dimpled arms to cling around
her neck. My neighbor keeps her carriage, and down the marble steps she




36            WOMAN.
floats in silks and laces; the prancing
bays and glittering carriage make a
pretty show; and holding my baby up
to look, she laughs and crows, patting
my face, and murmuring, "Mamma.";
My neighbor looks and sighs. I know
she'd give it all to feel the little clinging arms about her neck, the tiny rosebud mouth pressed to her own. What
care I for silks and laces! my gown is
neat and trim, my collar white and
smooth-and my baby, my crown, my
pearl, my jewel, outshines my neighbor's
wealth.
Two gardeners my neighbor keeps,
with ample grounds full of rare plants
and sweetly perfumed flowers. Statues
gleam through the rift of leaves, and
fountains flash, with marble basins curiously carved and rimmed; gravelled
walks, and cool, delicious arbors starred
with blossoms, invite the rich man and




TRUTHFULNESS.          37
his wife to walk at sunset. The sunshine slants across the costly dwelling,
and falls upon our humble home: the
talk grows less; my boy, my prince puts
up his blocks, and lays his books aside;'t is most time for papa; while Margaret
climbs to the window ledge, and holding
my baby high, we look and wait for the
first step. Hush! he comes; the baby
springs and gurgles; the sunshine falling
on the rings of soft brown hair, her blue,
laughing eyes lost in glee. This world
holds not a lovelier face; and down the
walk rings the gleeful shout, "Papa has
come!" The baby is on his shoulder, with
Jem and Margaret clinging to his hand.
Across the way, my neighbor looks
and sighs; I know she'd give it all to
take my place, to lean as I do on this
firm, strong arm, and romp with children
up and down the walk.
The sun has gone to bed, and the chil



38            WOMAN.
dren kneeling in their long white gowns,
have made their little prayer. The white
lids cover the laughing eyes, and the
pink-tinged cheeks grow lovelier in repose. Priceless jewels! and sinking on
my knees, I cannot but ask only more
earnestly, that He will show me how to
fashion and to polish them according to
His will.
Withal, a genial home and parents'
care is not enough to polish cornerstones.
Other influences must be brought to bear;
a wise correction and a mild rebuke.
"Correct thy son and he shall give thee
rest: yea, he shall give delight unto thy
soul."
Mindful that look, word, and act are
reflected truthfully, we are also to bear
in mind that the occasions, the silent influences of our homes are educators. The
taste of our children depends more upon
the combination and arrangement of col



TRUTHFULNESS.         39
ors than we are usually aware.  The
plates in our picture-books, the figures
on the wall, the pattern of the carpet,
the hangings at the window, each has a
part in moulding and forming: if not so,
how do we account for preferences too
strong for modern fashion to overcome?
Said a gentleman, "I like to see a married lady, with a pretty, tasteful capI cannot remember when my mother did
not wear one-and I cannot reconcile
myself to a matron in plain hair, any
more than I could to a young lady in
her teens with her hair covered." Said
another, "My mother always wore her
dresses cut low, with a spencer or underhandkerchief, the prettiest fashion
that a woman can wear, in my estimation."
Very few artists but go back to the
time they hung about the mother, for
the inspiration with which they have




40            WOMAN.
evoked beauty for a world to admire.
If we question our own hearts, we shall
no doubt find that taste was in a great
measure formed before we left the nursery, proof positive of the permeating
principle in a mother's influence. West
tells us that it was the approbation of
his mother that made him a painter.
From time immemorial the encouragement of a mother has been a power to
shape and fashion, little less than divine.
When our children grow out of our
arms, like young birds just learning to
fly, one of the most delightful places to
lead them is into the garden and the
meadow, with the birds, the bees, and
the blossoms for companions; teaching
them lessons of His love, showing them
the flower-cups, and telling them by
whose hand they were veined and painted, the spicy fragrance going up from
the flowers in gratitude. The birds sing




TRUTHFULNESS.          41
of His goodness, the bee murmurs his
praise, and little children must love God.
"God makes them sing, mamma," says
Margaret, hovering over the violet bed;
"God makes Jem and me and baby
sing; he's a good God, mamma."  And
why not? Why must God be an abstract
power? Why must heaven be so cold,
so far off to our children? Not unless
we choose to have it so. These little
fluttering hearts are quick to learn who
are our friends; they know the form and
figure of the one we love best. If God
is our Father, and Jesus is our dear
Elder Brother, they will know it; and
as they love us, so will they love those
whom we love.
Not alone from the flower cups, the
birds, the bees, and the blossoms, do
we spell lessons suited to their capacity;
but the tiny seeds we scatter, like the
little words we plant in their hearts,




42            WOMAN.
take root, to bud and blossom after many
days. There is no sham about nature,
no pretence; her influences are pure,
and her teaching is always elevating.
True to herself, she fulfils all her promises; trusting her she does not betray
that trust; the nearer we approach, the
more we see in her to admire and to
love. A precious privilege, to lead our
loved ones through her arched galleries;
to look upon their rapt faces, as for the
first time they listen to the great organ
chant in her mountain temple, drinking
in the inspiration of her morning and
evening hymns; their little hearts swelling with love, their sweet voices tuned
to praise and thanksgiving. Pleasant to
listen to the children's questions, while
gathering flowers, and binding them with
long feathery grass.
"God made'em for us, mamma; He
thought we'd like'em, maybe;" and




TRUTHFULNESS.          43
clinging to my neck with her white, dimpled arms, my pearl, my "day's eye"
talks of the heaven of which she has
been told, the glittering gates and walls
of jasper invisible; and still it seems so
real to my child, that a sigh will come,
unworthy and swept back. I would not
have her love heaven less, nor grow to
feel it farther off than she does now.
Another phase of truthfulness is accuracy, not a set form of speech, a studied
manner, the sweet vivacity kept down
with square and rule, but just the truth,
giving the shade and measurement of another's speech. Children are more or
less imaginative, fond of the marvellous,
and liable to run wild, as roses in a wilderness of pink bloom. A judicious pruning, a gentle lopping off is required, if
we would have a living, active, harmonious growth.  A hero to himself, the
boy's I's come in too quickly for knowl



44            WOMAN.
edge to keep pace. A gentle training as
we curl and twist the clambering vines,
leading, not deadening, will throw the
strength of brain into a strong aftergrowth.
The sun bridges the window with bars
of gold; mirth is toned to a gentle seriousness; grasping her flowers, Margaret's
blue eye turns homeward, and lifting
my baby from the wealth of blossoms, I
walk slowly. The sky bends over us in
benediction, the earth sends up her vesper hymn, the air is full of love. Up
the street stands the vine-wreathed cottage; the sunshine slants across the roof;
my neighbor opposite is at the gate; the
prancing bays clamp their silver bits.
A pretty turnout, but baby fails to
see it; she has caught the trick from me,
her papa says. No matter where, my
baby is quick-eyed. "Ah, yes,'t is papa,
papa," echoes Jem, as another figure approaches; and Margaret well nigh throws




TRUTHFULNESS.         45
down her flowers in the blithe run to
see which will be first to welcome him;
while baby laughs and crows, and clasps
her dimpled pink-tinged hands. We can
afford to wait, our time will come-has
come. My prince of men! not all my
neighbor's wealth could make me feel as
proud as I do now, with the great bronzed
face so full of tenderness, looking into
mine, the strong, firm hand on which to
lean, the tender, loving voice, with questions of the day.
The gate is won, the burnished temple with the flower-wreathed door, and
we the worshippers. "God is a good
God, mamma." "A good God is our
God," echoes through our hearts, and
bending with our. babes, we once more
ask that truth and love may blend and
work within us, making our lives fruitful
in good deeds.




II.
"In Honor, Preferring One Another."'HE3.HESTERFIELD has defined
(+,. politeness to consist in benevolence in trifles; in other words,
an unselfish interest in others.
Looking into the mirror of God's
word, we find, " As ye would that men
should do to you, do ye also to them
likewise; in honor, preferring one another." In no place or position is this
rule more essential than in the family,
and in no place, perhaps, is it more often
neglected or ignored.  It would seem
the little kindly acts of daily life would




"PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER." 47
be the natural outgrowth of the sacred
bond that unites the household; yet there
is, but too frequently, a certain boorishness that grows upon those connected
by family ties, a strange forgetfulness of
the little amenities of social life; allowing the manner to grow cold and rough,
a scale of indifference under which the
fire of love must burn brightly to be
seen at all.
In most cases, no doubt this is done
thoughtlessly; the husband taking it for
granted that his wife has full confidence
in his affection, unthinking that a fire
never fed, must, as a matter of course,
sooner or later go out. The wife, occupied with her duties as a wife and mother, grows unmindful of the morning courtesy and the evening welcome. So busy
preparing something to eat and something to wear, that she is excusable perhaps; but then, was it a stranger going




48            WOMAN.
out and coming in, she would most assuredly have remembered that courtesy
demands it; but it is her husband, and
the good woman forgets that this may be
the beginning of a breach through which
the arrow will speed to her own heart.
It is often said that politeness costs
nothing; and certainly in the family and
out of it, it is a power to soften and do
away with a thousand ills. The handclasp given to the stranger is but an act
of politeness; the smile of recognition
to the timid and the sorrowing is to be
ascribed to the same benevolent principle: putting ourselves in the place of
the stranger, and extending the same
courtesy to him that we would wish extended to us.
Uniform politeness is one of the cornerstones in the Christian character;
"doing as we would be done by;" "kindly affectioned one to another;" "courte



"PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER." 49
ous, given to hospitality:" "bear ye one
another's burdens, and so fulfil the law
of Christ." To be thus minded, is not
the work of the flesh, but of the Spirit;
qualities not inherent to our sinful nature, but grafted on it through the influence of Divine teaching. As in every
organization of imperfect beings forbearance and a kind consideration are needful, toning down prejudice, smoothing out
the warp of preconceived opinion, blending and harmonizing temperaments and
characters diverse and differently formed, so in the family a uniform politeness
is necessary. It is the golden clasp in
the chain of love, drawing the links
closer and closer every day.
Looking into.the mirror, we find,
"Whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report," that do
and teach. If politeness is needful in
the family, we must practise it; if we
Woman.          4




50            WOMAN.
desire to see our children courteous in
their bearing to each other and to strangers, we must teach them to become so.
Said one lady to another, as they conversed in the drawing-room of a friend:
"I regret that I cannot send Annie
to dancing-school. At home she has no
one but her brothers to associate with,
and boys are so rude."
"Do you think that going to such a
school will have a tendency to rectify
rudeness at home?" asked the lady.
"I should send her there to learn
politeness, and then perhaps her brothers will not teaze her so dreadfully as
they do now."
"If you feel that it is not best to send
Annie this winter, I think I can furnish
you with a code of politeness, the study
of which would rectify rudeness in every
instance," continued the lady.
"If you will be so good, it will great



"PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER." 51
ly oblige me. Pray, where can I find
it?"
" The only code of politeness that will
produce radical effect on the home-life,
is found in the Bible: the every-day
practice of its teachings, with the uniform spirit it inculcates, will insure politeness in every place, and under whatever circumstances," was the answer.
Said another, "I consider myself fortunate in a nursery governess; she speaks
French prettily, and her manners are
quite Parisian."
I would not underrate speaking French
prettily, neither would I object to the
manners of nursery-maid and governess
being refined and lady-like; but is this
the chief requisite? Are there not intrinsic qualities that are to be looked
for in those who assist us in the care
and education of our children?  Must
we not feel a confidence that springs




52            WOMAN.
from qualities of heart and mind, formed
after the teaching and the Spirit, under
whose rule we wish our children to be
taught? A parrot can be taught to speak
French prettily, and a charlatan can bow
as well as a gentleman; but for these
accomplishments would we desire the
worthless and unprincipled as the intimate associates of our children? Imitative in all their ways, they cannot live
under the same roof without imbibing
something of the same spirit as those
with whom they dwell. If children associate with the good, the noble, and the
true, they will almost uniformly become
good, noble, and true; and in cases where
they do not, may it not be traced to the
effect of influence from a wrong and polluted source? an unseen spring, not the
less deadly because hidden from the public gaze.
I have been surprised to note the con



"PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER." 53
duct of my own children, the temptation
through the influence of playmates to depart from accustomed usage. We were
in the habit of entertaining an aged woman, and as the children had never seen
either of their grandmothers, they w6re
permitted to give her the endearing title.
Seeing her at the gate one morning, I
asked Jem to run down the walk to meet
her.  It had always been his custom,
without my suggestion, but this time he
delayed.
" Run, my child."
" Pshaw, it's only grandma. Let her
come in by herself."
Surprised, as I had never heard him
speak in this manner, my look revealed
it. The small face was troubled, and he
drew near me.
"She knows the way, if she can't see
very well," and the voice grew tender.
"She may know the way, but it would




54            WOMAN.
please her. If papa was here, he would
go."
"But, mamma," and the child hesitated, while the tears sprang into his brown
eyes, "Stephen says it is all nonsense to
be polite to people you see every day."
"People that we see every day are
just the ones to whom we should be kind
and attentive; and to be kind and attentive is to be polite."
"He says it takes too much time to
run and open the door for everybody;
and the next time grandma drops her
handkerchief, let her pick it up."
"Grandma cannot see as well as she
could once; she trembles, and her hand
shakes. It troubles her to stoop, and
she is tired all the time. My little boy
is strong; he can eat and sleep, can see,
and hear, and run; still, he is not willing to be courteous. Who will wait upon
him. should he live to be old?"




"PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER." 55
The tears were running down Jem's
cheeks; he put up his hand to wipe them
away, and then pressed his face still
nearer to mine.
" Mamma, will Jesus know?"
Jesus knows now, and he is grieved.
Much as mamma loves Jem, Jesus loves
him still more."
"0 mamma, I don't want him to
know;" and the small arms were clinging to my neck. "I wish he would n't
look at me just now. Is it written down,
mamma?"
"I fear it is."
"0 mamma, I can't have it, I can't
have it;" and the child's heart was stirred to its inmost depths.
"If my boy is really sorry, and will
try to remember, Jesus will rub it out."
"What will he do with it?  Do ask
him, mamma; I can't have it there."
"Jesus loved Jem, and he shed his




56            WOMAN.
blood that the black stain of sin might be
washed white. If we ask, he will do it."
" He wont hear me now, I know. Do
ask him, please; I can't have it there.
He loves you, mamma."
" My asking will not do for my little
boy; he must himself ask."
"Go with me, mamma, please. I ve
been so bad he wont look at me; but if
he knows I'm your little boy, and that
I'm real sorry, he'll rub it out; I want
to see him do it."  And kneeling before
the throne of grace we asked that this
sin might be blotted out; that in the
future we might be enabled to carry out
the injunction, "In honor, preferring one
another," studying each other's comfort,
remembering especially the deference due
to the aged, the infirm, and humble disciple. "Inasmuch as ye have done it
unto one of the least of these, ye have
done it unto me."




"PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER."     57
Looking into this mirror, we find that
constant care aDd watchfulness is required. "Be not deceived; evil communications corrupt good manners;" "for
what fellowship hath righteousness with
unrighteousness, and what communion
hath light with darkness?" If we desire
to see our children pure, we must be
careful that their associations are pure,
the friendships they make, the books
they read, the thoughts they cherish.
Every day ideas are awakened, and impressions made. What shall they be, is
a question that seems ever sounding
through the inmost chambers of the
mother's heart. What ideas? what impressions?  Is it the privilege of the
mother to take the place of photographer, or can she delegate it to another?
The artist, painting for all time; the
sculptor, moulding for eternity, does not
look upon his work as drudgery. It is




58             WOMAN.
his lifework; his heart goes out, every
stroke of the brush; every fall of the
hammer reveals in a measure the beauty
that he sees and feels. The four sides
of his studio expand; he sees in fancy
an immense gallery filled with works of
art: a long roll of names, and among
them he sees his own. His work is unveiled; silent and still the crowds pause
to admire; his ear is greeted with words
of commendation and praise; tears are
in his eyes; he weeps, but they are tears
of joy; the little studio and the days of
incessant toil are forgotten. List! the
plaudit, "Well done!' It is music to
his heart, it well repays him for all the
sacrifice.
Is not the mother this painter, tracing
figures for all time?  Is she not this
sculptor, moulding and fashioning a soul
for eternity? Glorious work! on earth
there is nothing to equal it; angels have




"PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER." 59
nothing more praiseworthy. This little
mystic life, that caught its throbbing
fiom her own heart, and. to which her
soul is indissolubly united, can be pol.
ished by her more readily than by another; it is her lifework. Like one of
old, she " cannot come down." Far away
she sees a palace, fairer and more beautiful than mortal eyes have ever seen;
her work is to shine there.  She sees
the white robes, the crowns, the harps;
and there is one for her, there is one for
each of her babes. The long, weary days
are forgotten, the watchful care, the tedious lessons often repeated and long time
in being learned, are not regretted. Up
to these magnificent courts she sees the
way. The Judge is there; she longs to
look upon his face, she longs to kneel
before him; "Behold, I and the children
whom the Lord hath given me."
While it is given the mother in an




60            WOMAN.
especial sense, to form and polish, the
duty is not so exclusively hers that it
cannot be performed by another. Indeed, it is often done by those who are
no manner of kin; the only bond requisite is a heart brimming over with love,
anxious to work for Christ, and seeing
in every child, however destitute, the
germ of a life that may be trained for
usefulness here and happiness hereafter.
A bereaved mother may be won to
love and adopt for her own some sweetfaced orphan child who she fancies looks
like her own lost darling, and on whom
she is willing to lavish all a mother's
love and affection.
My neighbor over the way no longer
looks and sighs. A sweet, fair face, with
laughing blue eyes, and long, soft curls
of sunny hair, sits beside her. Gertrude
is very lovely. My neighbor looks and
smiles. It happened thus:




"PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER."    61
The venerable woman, of whom mention has been made, lived with a grandchild up four flights of stairs. One day
she grew too weary to come down the
tedious length, and the next, God saw
how faint and weak she was; and moved
by love for her and for the child, he
sent an angel to take her up still higher.
Her sands were almost run. The tongue
had well-nigh lost its power; but.it was
enough for my husband and me to know
the woman's wish, that henceforth Gertrude should be to us as Margaret.
The winter proved a hard one for the
poor. It was well, we said, that grandma went to sleep before the cold came
on; and Gertrude, curling up into a ball
before the cheerful fire, played making
books with pictures in them, to suit the
taste of baby Maude. It was autumn
when Gertrude came to play with baby
Maude; the flowers were well-nigh gone,




62            WOMAN.
the brown earth sere and chill, good
fires were needful. My neighbor's house
was closed; I did not see her leave, but
I knew the very hour. There was a dull,
cold look outside; we should miss her
just as one would miss a costly painting
on the wall, a statue fallen from its place.
The spring came round, and when the
long June days warmed up the earth,
and wove rich beauty from every nook
and dell, my neighbor reappeared. The
baby crowed and laughed, and Gertrude
clapped her hands.  It was a pretty
sight; the pale, sad face lighting up with
smiles as she saw baby, turning her eyes
half drowned in tears, as she caught the
name " Gertrude."
A quick thoughit flashed through my
brain; this woman had been a mother.
I saw it, felt it, realized the kinship for
the first time; strange that I had been
so dull. Catching her eye in the fulness




"PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER." 63
of my joy, I held my baby up, her silvery
glee and laughter-loving eyes sending a
pang to my neighbor's heart. Ah, me!
she too, had known the joy of motherhood. A mother's loss and sorrow had
been hers, I saw it now. A little fleeting life, and I was sure the angels knew
the child, and called away her Gertrude.
Days passed. I saw the mother's face
grow pale and thin; her step was slow,
and her head bowed as all too heavy
for the slender neck. What right had I
to so much happiness? How could I sit
and drink my fill, without a drop to
quench my neighbor's thirst? My husband knew my thought, and his great
heart, while tender, swerved not from
the right.
"If she will love her for her own, and
bring her up to be a good, true woman;
but if not, she shall not have her. I




64            WOMAN.
will not risk her soul for all the benefit
of added wealth."
I knew that he was right, he always
is; and making sure of all that I could
learn, I dressed Gertrude in her prettiest frock, and curling her sunny hair
over my finger, bound it back with a
blue ribbon, leaving her, forehead white
and pure. A dainty pair of gaiters Margaret had, and into thesp I slid the wellshaped foot, and taking Gertrude by the
hand, we crossed the street, and through
my neighbor's gate. She met me graciously; the sweet, pale lady took my
hand in hers, and asked me, as a sister
would have done, the health of all at
home   Then, looking down, she kissed
the upiturned face of the sweet child.
"And this is Gertrude? I have heard
her name. We had a Gertrude once,
and I have fancied- "
The voice was gone. I slid my arm




"PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER." 65
around the lady's waist, and kissed her
on the lips. She kissed me back, and I,
forgetful that her dress was silk, and
mine of common stuff, whispered of Gertrude, and that the winter had been
stern to us poor folk.
"Give her to me, and know that I
will love her as my own. Henceforth
she shall be to me as my own lost Gertrude. But stop." And unwinding her
arms that had been clasped around me,
she flew down the walk to a small arbor
covered with pink bloom. Lifting her
snowy hand she swept back the fragrant
curtain, and the next we saw she stood
leaning on the arm of a gray-haired
man, the tears, like two great pearls,
still glistening, but her face bright and
radiant with love.
"My child, my-Gertrude, will you stay
with us, and may we love and care for
you as our very own?" while the proud
Woman.         5




66            WOMAN.
man lifted the little trembler in his arms,
and kissed her as a father would have
done. My eyes were full; I turned a
look to our small home; she will be happier here, if they will love her, and
bring her up to fear and love the Lord.
The lady read my thought, and sweetly said:
"We are unworthy followers of the
same Lord; unworthy, most unworthy,
grasping, with outstretched hand, his
many gifts; but when he sent a messenger to take the one most loved and latest
given, we murmured; and' for this he
sent leanness into our souls, leaving us
to sit in darkness, until we came to a
better mind."  Then drawing close, she
kissed me again, and told me of the
lesson she had learned, and how she
hoped never to grow forgetful of His
love.
We missed Gertrude for a time, and




"PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER." 67
Jem and Margaret were lost in their little plays without her; but we knew that
it would be better for her in the future;
a broader culture she would have, perIlaps, with added means for usefulness
and doing lasting good.
^.'1




The Fear of Ridicule.
MON-lG the various motives
that influence us for good or
for evil, none is more univer-'  sal or more powerful in its
effects than the fear of ridicule. Deep down in the nature of every
created being is an honest desire to be
approved by friends and associates, and
the knowledge of their displeasure, even
with natures the most independent, rarely fails to give pain. But the pang that
arises from.the want of approval is nothing, to the sting caused by the sarcastic
smile, the covert shaft of ridicule.
Especially to the young, who are the




THE FEAR OF RIDICULE.      69
most keenly alive to its influence, is its
power often fatal. Watching the children, I have learned to look at it as one
of the greatest enemies that, as mothers,
we have to contend with. It affords so
natural, easy, and insidious an excuse
for dereliction in duty. Much of the exaggeration, equivocation, and falsehood
in our children has its origin in this
source. It is an inherent evil, that can
only be overcome by cultivating firmness, stability, and courage. Careful to
implant right principles and correct views
in the hearts of our children, we must
also teach them to prize a higher standard'of excellence than mere human
opinion; regarding their own self-respect, pure motives, and conscious integrity, as foundation stones on which the
future manhood and womanhood is to be
built.
I am aware that many will say that a




70            WOMAN.
subject of this nature is altogether too
grave to refer to in the presence of
young children. I admit that, should
we thrust it upon our children without
due care of mental strength and capacity, it would probably do little good.
More, it would do positive harm; for
what overloads the child's mind, like the
food that overloads his stomach, weakens
rather than tends to strength. Milk belongs to babes; but as our children grow
in years there is not much danger in
giving them meat occasionally; pap does
not tend to strength and activity. True,
we are to chop it fine, and to insist on
its being well masticated; and the effect
we see in the bright, healthy countenances usually seen in children that are well
fed, and have plenty of air and sunshine.
Especially is it in childhood that all
needful lessons are to be given by the
mother; for as they grow in years, they




THE FEAR OF RIDICULE.      71
grow in a sense away from us; that is,
other influences creep in, weakening the
effect of our words by the wider range
of unexplored territory it is now theirs
to tread. If, through fear of ridicule,
they cannot say "No" to the enticements of their associates, there is little
hope that they will be able in after years
to maintain their integrity against the
assaults of the adversary, always ready
to seize upon the ignorant and the unwary. Many a youth open to good influences, has been sunk to the level of
the worthless and vicious, by the dread
of their sneer and the fear of their contempt. Many a young man, ignorant of
the world and weak in principle, has
been urged on by degrees to sacrifice
his integrity, to sully his manhood, and
to steep his whole nature in the black
pool of sin, simply because he could not
brave the laugh of his companions. Many




72            WOMAN.
a daughter has turned to the grave as
the only place to hide her shame, because she had not strength of principle
sufficient to say "No" when asked to
ride on the Sabbath, to go to the theatre, or to some objectionable place of
amusement.
If we would insure our sons and our
daughters from such a fate, we must
teach them the true end and aim of life
from their infancy. Living in an age
like ours, there is double danger lest
the true scale of excellence be reversed,
placing the body above the mind, and
the mind above the heart; our sons
priding themselves in strength and activity, wit, and geniality, in the room of
strict integrity and high moral principle; our daughters on personal beauty,
light, graceful accomplishments, and a
winning fluency of speech, in the room
of purity and a firm and abiding Chris



THE FEAR OF RIDICULE.      73
tian faith, the only safeguard for a woman.
The fear of ridicule, while it is keenly
felt by children and youth, does not exclusively belong to them.  It is very
possible, that as mothers, we are still
under its baneful influence; doing as others do, dressing as others dress, merging
our own individual acts and opinions
into those of our neighbor; craving sympathy from broken reeds and empty
pitchers, in the room of leaning with
heart and soul upon the sure foundation
that is given us in the gospel. Woman,
as being the more sensitive, is certainly
the most subject to the fear of ridicule.
Hence, she requires a more unwearied
diligence, lest this fear betray her into
covert or open neglect of known duty.
The more sensitive the nature, the more
liable to be in bondage to this fear.
Many a student has not been proof




74            WOMAN.
against the laugh of the most indolent
scholar in his class: "There goes the
plodder," or the son of a poor man working his way up by the labor of his hands,
ready to yield the point, throw aside his
books, and sit down in despair, because
some idle spendthrift taunted him with
his necessity. Industry will overcome
poverty; perseverance and indomitable
energy are more to the student than
mere natural gifts, or talents without
application.
To say "No," is as needful for the
child as it is for the man. The first
great requisite demanded by a wise and
judicious parent is obedience. Children
are subject to temptation quite as much
as youth and middle age; small paths, it
is true, but in the direction of error just
the same. To abstain from wrong-doing
as a child requires principle; not the
principle of a man, but of a child. This




THE FEAR OF RIDICULE.      75
principle is not the natural product of
the heart, it is implanted there to be
nourished, strengthened, fed by a mother's care and devotion. The mother's
duty in this particular is not unlike the
gardener's; he begins to train his vines
when they are young and tender; he
turns and twists them, he inclines them
to twine about the support he offers; he
does not allow them to choose for themselves; the growth is theirs, but the manner depends upon him. He does more;
he obliges them, making them fast, and
laying weights upon them, until time has
made it natural for them to take that
direction.  Should the gardener leave
his vines for a season, what a mass!
tangled, confused, unsightly. His first
care is to cut down, clip, and confine
the young growth. True, with vigorous
means he may bring'back beauty and
order, but it will require double work;




76            WOMAN.
and with this it will of necessity require
time before harmony will be established.
With an exceedingly sensitive nature,
affectionate, and still under fear of ridicule from his associates, Jem has taught
me many a lesson that I should not have
learned without him. Willing to give
him a little pleasure, his father had taken
him to spend a few days with a friend
who had a large family of children, most
of them boys. For lodging room the
boys slept in the same apartment, small
cots standing in rows. Jem was honored with one of these quite by himself,
the first night. Taking advantage of the
occasion when the boys stood with their
backs to him, Jem kneeled as he had
been accustomed to do, said his prayer
hurriedly, and slipped into bed, unobserved as he thought, by every eye.
The next night; there was the addition
of another visitor, a boy larger and more




THE FEAR OF RIDICULE.      77
advanced in knowledge; and this boy
was given to share Jem's bed. It now
required more courage to do his duty,
and for a long time, as he afterwards
told me, he deliberated. "If I kneel,"
he argued, "Richard is so full of fun he
will be sure to see me, and will call the
attention of the other boys and they will
laugh at me. I cannot endure it." Conscience was faithful, however; it had
always been his custom not to close his
eyes in sleep before he had gone to God
in prayer. He realized that it was right;
he felt that he could not sleep without it,
and still he could not do so without the
risk of being laughed at by his associates. At length his duty was too plain
for him to refuse; he must kneel and
pray silently.
"Softly! softly! I thought he was a
Methodist," and Richard crept up behind
him and pulled his hair till he cried out.




78            WOMAN.
"Ha, ha, all pretence-was praying a
minute ago," and a boyish laugh echoed
through the room.
A trying place I see, my son, and
must have taxed your patience; but
prayer is the breathing of the heart's
desire to God, and whatever the posture
of the body, should not be omitted as
we retire to rest. All the world over
there will be those to scorn and deride
you in your attempts to serve God; but
knowing the evil, we must not be overcome by it, our trust must be in him.
As a little boy you need to ask him to
keep you from doing wrong, and should
you live to become a man, you will
have the same need to ask him. In the
world, my child, we cannot live without
God.
Temptations to evade duty are not
confined to children. I may be allowed
to mention an incident in the life of a




THE FEAR OF RIDICULE.     79
lady well known in the religious and
literary world. In early life this lady
had the misfortune to lose her father,
and with him the wealth by which he
had. been enabled to surround his family
with all the luxuries and refinements of
life. Delicate in health, a child but just
entering her teens, she was educated beyond her years, with a look and manner
that spoke maturity of thought and purpose. A proficient in music, and anxious to make her education available for
her mother and little brothers, she asked
and obtained a position as music teacher
in a female seminary in an adjoining
Istate.  She had not been engaged in
teaching more than six months before
cholera broke out in the vicinity, and
the principal of the seminary, a clergyman advanced in years and exceedingly
delicate, fell by it.
At once the school was in alarm.




80            WOMAN.
There was dread in the very name.
Letters were written and trunks packed;
the English teachers, older by a decade
of years, had no power to pacify their
pupils. Not another case was fatal; and
still, if the rumor got afloat, the school
would be broken up.
In this emergency the young music
teacher called the roll and explained
the nature of the disease, and the cause
of the principal's death. She next demanded the letters, ordered the trunks
to be unpacked, and assured them that
there was no ground for special alarm,
and that the school in all its appointments would go on as usual. Order was
restored, and confidence established.
The wife of the clergyman, overcome
with grief at the loss of her husband,
and inefficient to manage for herself, had
looked upon it as a settled thing that
the school must be broken up; but with




THE FEAR OF RIDICULE.     81
the reaction it was surprising to see how
she leaned upon the self-appointed principal. Not only the school, but the domestic department was under her supervision. Morning and evening devotion,
as well as chapel duties devolved upon
this young lady. Timid and shrinking,
it was upon ordinary occasions a cross;
while the addition of guests made it still
more keenly felt.
One evening as the weary girl watched
the day go out, a carriage entered the
yard, and she caught a glimpse of an
elegant-looking elderly man, his wife,
and as she judged two daughters. Every
thing about them showed culture and
refinement. Introductions were made.
It was Judge W        and family, a
man of acknowledged worth and distinction, the brother of the widowed
woman in whose name the school was
conducted.
Woman.         6




82            WOMAN.
The evening passed. At nine o'clock,
through the ample halls the bell sounded
for family prayers; the teacher had not
thought of it, but with the first stroke of
the bell it came unbidden: What if the
guests should be there? What if the
learned judge should refuse to lead?
The notes of the bell died away, the
last footfall was heard on the stairs. A
moment and the teacher crossed the hall
to the parlor. The pupils, the family,
and the guests were seated.  In the
centre of the room stood a small table,
with a chair beside it, and on it lay a
Bible and hymn-book. With a graceful
bow the teacher turned to the judge and
politely asked him to occupy the chair.
The invitation was refused.
"What was I to do?" said'the teacher,
as years afterwards she related the incident. "If I faltered, it would bring reproach upon the name of Jesus. To go




THE FEAR OF RIDICULE.     83
forward seemed impossible. My head
reeled, and my hands trembled visibly.
"Turning to the hundred and third
Psalm, I read. Before I had reached
the line,'Like as a father pitieth his
children, so the Lord pitieth them that
fear him. For he knoweth our frame, he
remembereth that we are dust,' I was
calm. It was our habit to sing after
reading; and striking into a familiar
hymn, I noticed that the judge was
greatly moved, and before its close he
arose and left the room. The visitors
remained several days; but at prayer
morning and night there was no more
trepidation.'The morning he left," continued the
lady, "after our usual service, the judge
followed in prayer. It was a sweet simple petition, and caused us ever after to
remember him as a.personal friend. As
he rose from his knees he came to me,




84            WOMAN.
the tears rolling down his manly cheeks,
and taking my hand thanked me for the
lesson he had learned.'I have been a
member of the church for years; but so
much am I absent from home that I have
allowed myself to omit family prayer.
I am going home now to revive it, and
I thank you for not hesitating in your
duty; my wife and daughters bless you
for the example given them.'
"Words are weak to describe my own
feelings. I had hesitated, trembled, and
almost fallen.  I can never be sufficiently thankful that God sustained me.
Had I then denied him, my whole after
life perhaps would have been changed."
Thus it is, there are turning points,
decisions to be. made by children and
youth as well as by people of mature
years.  Training children, we cannot
exempt them from temptation. There
are foes within and foes without; but




THE FEAR OF RIDICULE.     85
we must teach them to stand firm in
their integrity, to make the love of God
their guide, to remember that the eye
of Jehovah is upon them, and that there
is nothing for them to fear if they go
forward in the discharge of all known
duty.




IV.
Home Duties.`IFE  is made up of littles,'   and home duties are the aggregate of littles, difficult to enumerate, but easily performed;
a nameless grace and beauty
wrapping in the habitation, let it be a
lordly palace or a settler's hut. Home
is where the mother is, the mother's care
and counsel investing it with a sanctity
not to be found elsewhere. Poets have
sung, and orators have loved to dwell
upon the theme; but poets and orators,
in their grandest achievements, fail to
equal the pictures enshrined in each
heart. Language is weak to portray the




HOME DUTIES.          87
emotion as we visit the old home; the
same old hall, with the substantial oak
staircase, and the tall old-fashioned clock
on the landing.  Years are forgotten;
only yesterday, and we were children
dancing through the room. The furniture is not the same, the paper on the
wall is modern in its style; but to us
the well-remembered faces, the chair in
which a mother sat, the broad staircase,
and the window in the angle of the wall,
have a strange significancy.
A blithe set of romping girls and
boys, our mirth softened to cheerfulness
as we gathered round this same old
chair. Margaret, my Margaret, wears
our mother's name, and in my turn do I
try to teach my child in keeping with
her rule.
It is pleasant to watch the fair child's
face, the light of intelligence breaking
over it, the budding thought, the wealth




88            WOMAN.
of feeling, the awakening imagination,
the kindling fancy: pleasant inasmuch
as it charms with its beauty, its freshness, its sweet hopefulness, a charming
seriousness creeping up as I look. This
fair child, with her richly freighted mind
and heart, is mine to polish for a "cornerstone," around which other foundations will be laid, a temple beautiful and
fair to look upon. How shall I order it?
In the mirror of God's word we find
an admirable picture of home life: "Her
children arise up and call her blessed,
her husband also and he praiseth her;"
again, "Let them learn first to show
piety at home," ",not slanderers; sober,
faithful in all things."
By this it would seem that piety is
the first requisite. Coveting, first of' all,
"the best gifts," "the one thing needful;" knowing that all requisite good will
be added.




HOME DUTIES.          89
I have sometimes been afraid that
much of the preciousness connected with
our duties as mothers escapes us through
our failure to become acquainted with
the temperament and condition of our
children. Much of the effectiveness of
our Saviour's teaching when upon earth
arose from the fact that "He knew what
was in'man," tempering his speech to
suit the necessity of the case. To the
mother this personal knowledge is allimportant: tracing back, as she is able
to do, the phases in her own life,
the impressions and influences distinctly
brought to mind in the habits and inclinations of her children. This is one of
the chief reasons why the work of training so exclusively belongs to the mother,
the more intimate knowledge that she
possesses bringing her more in sympathy
with the nature of her child, and enabling
her to prove a skilful workman in shap



90            WOMAN.
ing and polishing the life committed to
her care.
In doing this there can' be no precise
form of speech or manner; neither can
any formula of rules be strictly adhered
to. Of the children of the same mother
no two are exactly alike: the same form
of speech calculated to praise or to reprove one would not be judicious when
used for another. In the same disease
the physician seldom treats two cases
precisely alike.  As a physician, the
first care is to understand as much as it
is possible for him to know, of the temperament, constitution, and habits of his
patient. Then he notes the disease and
makes out his diagnosis.  This is the
reason that we place so much confidence
in the family physician: he is acquainted
with our constitution, he knows what
the system can bear, he is acquainted
with the constitution of each of our chil



HOME DUTIES.           91
dren, which gives us a confidence in his
treatment, that we could not feel in a
stranger.
The eye of the patient reveals much
to the physician; the brow, the cheek,
the lip are all interpreters.  He lays
his finger on the telltale pulse, he puts
himself in sympathy with his patient,
his whole being is absorbed in his work,
the life of his patient is in his hands,
it will be required of him. A trifling
neglect, or an ill-made figure, a false
weight, or imperfect measurement, and
the life is lost. The physician knows this,
and he watches and notes every change.
He dares not delegate it to another;
however weary he may be, he is not
satisfied until he has made his round.
All this is done by the conscientious
physician to save a temporal life. Eternal life is the care of the mother. Can
she prove less watchful? Can she with




92            WOMAN.
more security neglect her duty?  Can
she suffer herself to make a mistake?
In view of such responsibility, what
mother would but tremble in accepting
the charge were it not for the promises:
"Lo, I am with you alway;" "All things
whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive;" "Ask and it shall
be given you;" "If any of you lack wisdom let him ask of God, and it shall be
given him." The Scriptures distinctly
teach that home is the legitimate realm
of woman, the ordering of her household
and the training of her children her
highest duty, her sweetest privilege. In
the fulfilment of this duty, honor has
always awaited her, "her own works
praise her in the gates."
Premising that, as mothers feeling
the weight of individual responsibility
we are to consult the mirror of God's
word, we will consider more particularly




HOME DUTIES.          93
home duties, and the necessity laid upon
us to render home the most attractive
place that can be found by our children.
This does not of necessity require wealth,
or extravagance in outfit. A mother's
arms in fond endearment, are more that
frescoed walls and elegant hangings. The
humblest room is beautified by her smile,
the most magnificent one will be cold
and barren without it. Many a child
and many a youth goes astray, not because his home is not well appointed,
but simply because home lacks sunshine.
Many, through over zeal to be called
good housekeepers, disgust and repel,
without seeming to be conscious where
the mistake lies. A fly lighting on the
wall has power to disturb them.  A
beam of sunshine quite throws them into
a fever.  To be neat and orderly is
praiseworthy, but to shut out the light
and sunshine for fear that the furniture




94            WOMAN.
will be injured, or the carpet faded, is
like throwing away pearls and gathering
pebbles.
Children live in the present, they are
fond of brightness, they love the sunshine, and it is natural for them to seek
the place where they find it. If home is
the spot where every thing is dark and
gloomy, with sour faces, harsh words and
continual fault-finding, rest assured they
will spend as little time as possible there.
On the contrary, if father and mother
unite to make it beautiful, the father
expending according to his means, giving his children to see that he desires
their happiness, and is doing all that he
can to insure it; the mother, lighthearted, happy, winsome, remembering
her own youth, enjoying a good healthful romp with her children, showing her
interest by talking with and entertaining
them as she does her friends, entering




HOME DUTIES.          95
into the spirit of their games, reading,
studying, putting herself in sympathy
with them, the probabilities are that
such a mother will never be called to
mourn the downfall of a son or a daughter.
A bright cheerful home is a place of
security in times of temptation and danger. Blessed the remembrance of such
a home: the walls plain and unassuming,
furniture simple, books and pictures few
but admirably arranged, while over all
is the genial loving smile of the mother,
the warm hand-clasp, the kiss. Humble
as their home is, the children will never
find another to equal it. Such homes
are foretastes of the final home with our
dear heavenly Father. It will be all
sunshine there, all love, all happiness.
Another effectual way to render home
happy to our children, is to give them
something to do. It awakens their in



96            WOMAN.
terest and deepens their love; they are
led to look upon themselves as in a sense
essential to their parents; it kindles a
desire to please, and thus invested with
a share of responsibility there is a certain child dignity to be supported, an unconscious deepening of principles. Some
years since, on a visit to a friend whose
little son, a bright manly boy of eight
summers, was particularly winning, I
was impressed with the benefits to be
derived from this course.  On being
asked to return with me and spend a
few days, his reply was, "My father
cannot spare me;" his whole appearance
showing how much he valued the idea of
being useful to his father; heightening
his own self-respect, and having a tendency to render him more manly.
Children are naturally helpful; their
daily activities can be turned into profitable channels, or allowed to run to waste,




HOME DUTIES.          97
according to the mother's influence. It
is a sad thing to see a child bowed down
under burdens too heavy for it; but if
we would have our children happy, we
must let them bear the yoke in their
youth; giving them certain duties and
holding them responsible for the fulfilment of those duties.
Of necessity these should be light,
not given as a tax, but as a duty, the
performance intended to bring pleasure.
Duties thus performed will give them a
relish for work in after life, and custom
twill render it easy. In my own case, the
first duty given to Margaret was to dust
papa's study chair. This was to be done
every morning at a specified time. Jem
was taught to bring his father's dressing
gown and slippers as he came in at night.
This was not exacted of him merely as
something to be done; but to stimulate
his memory and render him mindful of
Woman.         7




98            WOMAN.
such little acts of courtesy, esteeming it
a greater favor to assist others than to
be assisted by them.
As they grew older more was required
of them, not enough to weary, but sufficient to give zest to recreation; they
were not less active at their games,
while they grasped study with a firmer
hold, a more abiding love. In gardening they were permitted to have a share,
a certain pride in possession showing
itself on their faces and in their words.
Each was provided with a set of small
tools, always to be ptt in their respective places when they had been used.
In this manner, health was won and the
whole mental machinery gained strength.
Nature is a wonderful teacher: not even
a child can come in contact with her
without visible improvement.
Stronger by degrees the mind grows
as the body strengthens, and many a




HOME DUTIES.         99
lesson of trust and patient waiting was
learned in the garden. Precious little
helpers! How they soften the cares and
the burdens of life. Calm, confident,
and trusting in our knowledge and judgment, what a lesson do they teach us of
security in the guardianship of our dear
heavenly Father.  Many times, when
my soul was troubled and heavy with
care, have I looked into the calm bright
faces around me. "You can make it
all right, mamma," were words that rung
through my heart-chambers. Such love
and confidence my children had in me:
while I, knowing that a Father's love
was mine, that a precious Elder Brother
was touched with my infirmities, was yet
often weak and desponding.
Gertrude not unfrequently joined us
in our work, bringing in her hand a
rare flower, a climbing rose, or a vine:
something to be to us a remembrancer.




100           WOMAN.
Each day increased her beauty-a precious bud unfolding where all was fair;
a blessing in her new home, the gentle childlike air and manner winning
more than her words.
"Mamma," exclaimed Margaret, as
her hour in the garden expired, and she
turned to her lessons, "I love the garden better than any of my books."
"Do you call the garden a book?"
"You know what you have often told
me, that every leaf was a letter; and I
thought if the leaves were letters, the
whole world would make a book."
"True, in that case it is a book written with the finger of God, each leaf a
letter from which we are to spell lessons
of love, of joy and thankfulness."
Who that listens to the child's query,
that stops to analyze child-feeling, or
attempts to answer a twentieth of the
questions asked, can for a moment think




HOME DUTIES.         101
that there is a period in their lives
when the highest intellectual gifts are
not called into requisition?  Milk is
diluted to give to babes, and meat is
given in dainty morsels. It is not in
quantity, but in quality the same as the
man of full grown power requires. Thus
with instruction, it should be the best,
the choicest, the most attractive, served
up to suit the strength of the mental palate, inclining the child to desire more.
The Bible is replete with evidence
that childhood is the time to make an intelligent choice of God's service. From
the beginning when the Creator instituted the family relation, down to the
time when the Saviour enjoined it upon
Peter to prove his love by caring for
the lambs, lawgivers, prophets, priests,
and apostles have taught that children
are the especial charge of our heavenly
Father, to be received and loved and




102           WOMAN.
instructed as those who could best understand, and most readily believe in and
serve Him. "Except ye be converted
and become as little children, ye shall
not enter into the kingdom of heaven."
"Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, shall in no
wise enter therein." Who so ready to
be taught as a child? Who so ready to
believe, so frank, so confiding?  Such
love is very precious in the sight of
God. The fragrance of the opening bud
is deeper than that of the full blown
flower.  Home duties are precious in
proportion as they are blended with love
to God: his glory being of paramount
importance; his love filling our hearts
and the hearts of our children with peace.
In connection with this, I remember
to have heard a mother say she feared
that if her children were taught to
breathe in the atmosphere of God's love,




HOME DUTIES.         103
thinking and acting and living as in his
presence, they would fail to know by
experience the regenerating influence of
his Spirit in their hearts.
"Only believe," is the requirement.
Belief is the foundation of the Christian
faith. What have brain power and years
of mental training to do with this? "The
wisdom of the world is foolishness with
God." There is no fitness attained through
knowledge or learning, no virtue in waiting a specified term of years. "With the
heart man believeth unto righteousness.'
The undoubting clinging trust of the
child is the one thing needful: "Now is
the accepted time; behold, now is the
day of salvation." Was it not in view
of this truth that Jesus said, "I thank
thee, O Father', Lord of heaven and
earth, because thou hast hid& these things
from the wise and prudent, and hast
revealed them unto babes."'




104           WOMAN.
Not too young! Oh no, not too young!
My heart thrills with rapture as I look
into Margaret's upturned face, lay my
hand on Jem's brown head, and draw
Maude, my dove-eyed Maude, to my
bosom. Not too young to come to Jesus.
Dear ones! may I not as a mother fail
to plant the seeds of truth in your hearts
from fear that the soil is not old enough
to receive it!
In mimic play children imitate those
of larger growth: their doll-gatherings
and tea-parties are on the same plan as
those they have been accustomed to see
the mother serve; they try to do and to
say exactly what they understand to be
in keeping with the occasion: receiving
and entertaining their guests with a
strange blending'of child grace and womanly digfity that would be ridiculous if
not for its ingenuousness.
I was forcibly impressed with this




HOME DUTIES.          105
during a few days' serious illness.  It
was a a season when it was almost impossible to secure a nurse.  In this
dilemma, Margaret was our little nurse
and housekeeper. Too ill to give directions, I was surprised to see how closely
the child imitated her mother's movements: a certain order pervaded the
room; and while she brought the medicine, dropped it into a spoon, and made
nourishing drinks for me, she also set
the table and prepared the meals for the
family.
"Do not think about it, mamma, it
will make your head ache; papa says
that I do very nicely." Sweet lesson
of patient doing; and lying with closed
eyes, I tried to take it in: the simple
child-faith, never' once murmuring that
she did not know more, was not older,
and of course more able; but thankful
and willing to do her best, feeling ap



106           WOMAN.
proved of her own conscience, and well
pleased with the commendation of her
parents. At breakfast and tea, the small
housewife perched herself, in mamma's
chair, giving papa his cup, a touching
gravity on the young fair face, that rendered it only the more attractive.
It is a mistaken idea that helpfulness
tends to a stiff mature manner, repulsive
as shown in a child. To be helpful does
not crush out the glee and playfulness
of the child nature. On the contrary,
their young hearts bubble over with
more freshness.  A  bow that is always bent, loses its vigor, and continual
play ceases to have a charm even for a
child.
As much of the happiness of home
depends upon the dignity and ease with
which the nameless daily duties are discharged, it becomes us as mothers to
invest the most menial service with an




HOME DUTIES.         107
air of cheerfulness, never considering it
a reproach to be found superintending
or doing with our own hands whatever
tends to the completeness of a wellordered household. It is too much the
custom to cry out against the petty exactions, the confinement and care necessary to the mistress of a family; making mountains out of mole-hills; driven,
nettled, throwing aside responsibility if
possible; breaking up, boarding, or leaving all to servants, regarding even the
care of their own children as too much
labor and trouble. Let this habit prevail, and what security have we that,our sons will ripen into honorable manhood? that our daughters will rise up
and call us blessed?
If we would reap, we must first plant
the seed.  Neither can this be done
without a careful preparation. There is
no chance work: there is an end and an




108           WOMAN.
aim. Neglect our duties we may, delegate them to others, or leave them to
the mercy of circumstances; but responsibility will still cling to us, and at last
the account must be rendered, and the
reward will be proportioned to our faithfulness.
c/CAX.
~^~` ~ L




V.
What Shall We Read?
N  this age of books, newspapers, and magazines, this question is one of vital importance.
What shall we read?    What
shall our children read? There
are now so many really good books,
especially for the young, that it involves
judgment and taste, as well as principle,
to make a judicious choice. In adorning a temple, the workman chooses, out
of the abundance of gold and silver and
precious stones, such as fit the purpose.and the end in view. Those that he
rejects may be as valuable as any, but
not so well adapted to his present need.




110           WOMAN.
To read all the good books would be an
impossibility, even if we had the means
to obtain them.. To read without a prescribed course would be no better for
the intellect, than food would be for the
body when taken at all hours, regardless of the stomach and the work it has
to do in digestion.
"I never saw such a thirst for reading
as my son has," said one lady to another;
"it is nothing but read, read. We can
hardly get him to take necessary exercise."
"Ah," returned the lady, "to be a
diligent reader is certainly commendable. What kind of reading does your
son prefer?"
"Oh, any thing.  He just reads all
the time."
The mother spoke with the tone of
one who felt that her son was to be commended. The lady was surprised, and




WHAT SHALL WE READ?      111
upon a fitting occasion questioned the
son. Alas! he did read all the time, as
his mother said, the sickly sensational
stories brought to him through the columes of his favorite newspapers; feeding
on husks, worse than husks, light, foamy,
evanescent.  No; they left a stain on
the soul, a taste in the mouth, that will
effectually deprive him of a relish for
any thing better. What mother would
not cry out to see her son feeding on
garbage, seeking it through the gutters?
And is there a mother that can see her
child devouring poison, forgetful of present duty; lost in the dreams of the
novelist, and not cry out against it?
As mothers, cannot we teach our children to cultivate a purer taste, to shun
as they would the plague the pictures
of vice and demoralization? Cannot we
teach them to abstain from impure literature, just as we teach them not to




112           WOMAN.
tamper with opium, with alcohol and
tobacco?  It will not do to hesitate.
The evil is abroad. We must meet it;
not with a captious, fault-finding spirit,
but lovingly, holding up the mirror of
God's word, drawing just inferences
and conclusions, constrained by its teaching rather than our own to see that it
is impossible for the mind to dwell on
scenes such as are represented in too
many of our books and papers, without
receiving impressions injurious to the
progress of positive good in the soul.
It will not be sufficient to show them
the baneful effects of such reading, but
we must teach them what to read, choosing for them, and cultivating taste as
well as higher mental faculties, and leading them  to choose wisely for themselves.  Cannot we teach our children
that the daily study of God's word is
indispensable? Fond of stories, roman



WHAT SHALL WE READ?       113
tic and imaginative, what book so well
calculated to charm them by the variety
of its themes, the interest of its history,
the matchless beauty of its poetry, the
depth of its science, the simplicity and
power of its oratory? So varied is it,
and so enlarged in its scope, that were
there not another book within his reach,
the thorough Bible-student would be justly considered a learned man.
To impress our children with the
beauty and interest of the Bible, we
must feel them ourselves. In order to
inculcate its truths, we must honor them
in our lives: to win daily study, we must
ourselves daily study the Scriptures, we
must speak of them and consult them,
making them the rule and the standard
of daily life. To win our children to
love what we love, we must bring before
their understanding the truth which tends
to excite or call forth the emotion of
Woman.          8




114           WOMAN.
love. If we desire them to love a friend
or a relative, we tell them of the many
noble qualities this friend possesses, and
his generous self-sacrificing deeds. We
describe his very look, manner, style,
voice, and gesture; and as they listen,
we see by the kindling eye, the changing countenance, that their hearts beat
in unison with ours.
Thus with our Bible histories. read to
and with our children. Of ourselves we
cannot win them; but as we read the
wonderful story of Christ, of his early
youth, his generous deeds, and spotless
character, his yearning compassion, not
willing that any should perish, his love
for little children, bidding them come to
him, we see the movings of his Spirit in
their heart, their affections sweetly going out after God.
By becoming thus familiar with the
Bible, the historical and prophetical, as




WHAT SHALL WE READ?       115
well as the biographical parts of it, they
will erect a standard that will be of
essential service in the selection of other
books and authors-a standard of beauty, purity, and truthfulness, to which
their general taste will conform.
Physicians tell us that a variety of
food is indispensable to the health of the
body.   God has given us a generous
supply, and we are called upon to choose
certain dishes that suit our taste, -and
others which particularly agree with the
system  and constitution; the stomach
readily digesting them, turning them to
blood and bones and flesh, renovating
sand strengthening the entire body. Thus
the mind requires a variety; we should
choose such works as are in themselves
helpful, suggestive, having a tendency to
lead upward; with truth to rest upon,
argument sufficient to tax'the reasoning
powers and enlist the judgment, beauty




116           WOMAN.
to awaken the imagination and the fancy,
with an easy onward movement, leading
thought outward, upward, after something holier, happier, more abiding than
can be found in ourselves.
Through the agency of books, we become acquainted with the history of nations and people centuries before us; the
rise and fall of empires, the glory of
kingdoms, the downfall of states. Individualizing we become interested. We
enter into the spirit of the age, understanding the motives and influences
brought to bear upon the minds of the
leading actors in the great drama of life,
winning experience through their mistakes: the whole having a tendency to
render us more just, more generous, more
charitable. Our range of thought should
be broad, vast, comprehensive, and we
should think of ourselves as nothing, and
still hold ourselves as ennobled by rea



WHAT SHALL WE READ?       117
son of our relation to the Creator; for we
are "bought with a price," and should
be careful in word, thought, and deed,
not to dishonor him.
The study of geology, astronomy, botany, and other natural sciences will disclose to us beauty more wondrous and
fascinating than the pen of the novelist
ever drew, the glory and majesty of
God's works, his treasured storehouse
being revealed to us, the secrets of the
great deep made known. To engage the
minds of our children to follow after
things beautiful and good, we must impress them with an earnest persistent
desire after what is beautiful and good
in our own lives. We must know the
way and walk in it, before we can point
it out to others.
The choice of authors we must make
a personal matter, selecting according to
the character, inclination, plursuits, and




118           WOMAN.
temper of the child.  As no two children are exactly alike in look, temperament, and habit, so each must have of
necessity a different way of looking at
things, different methods of thought and
study. We are not to destroy these
individual characteristics, but to train
them, turning natural inclination into
profitable channels; bringing out ability
and passive talent, laying open the understanding to the light of truth, mellowing the sensibilities, and making ready
for an abundant harvest.
While it is well to have a book always on hand, fleshless lips ready with
a thought or a suggestion, it is absolutely necessary to cultivate a methodical arrangement, a regular course of
reading, if we would build up and improve the mind to the highest limit.
Neither will it be sufficient to read; we
must aid our children to frmn right hab



WHAT SHALL WE READ?       119
its of thought, judging accurately with
respect to the characters they meet with
in reading, sifting and analyzing men's
aims in life, appropriating what is good,
and leaving the chaff, if chaff'there be,
to the winds of forgetfulness.
These are preliminary preparations,
weak and imperfect in themselves, and
still helps in the formation of character
lasting as eternity.
Another consideration, and one which
through the multiplicity of care we too
frequently forget, is a specific arrangement with reference to time, a sensible
division of duties; with no conflict, no
clashing, nothing hurried, nothing omitted. We should cherish order without
rudeness, a certain gliding movement
showing executive power and ability in
guiding the small craft safely.
A habit of reading is one of the best
safeguards for our children against temp



120           WOMAN.
tation; rendering home peculiarly dear
to them.  As they gather around the
study table, the out-door life is for the
time forgotten; while the child revels
in the sublimity of thought, the beauty
of conception, the elevating imagery of
the printed pages: perchance travelling
through space, calling the stars by name,
measuring their distances, noting their
changes, studying their nature, conjecturing of their inhabitants; thus the mind
is enlarged, and the heart aided to grasp
a more tangible idea of the greatness,
the power, the love of the great Author.
In contrast with such delights, vice
will.look less attractive, and folly lose
its charm. Time will seem more precious, life more dignified and noble, and
the responsible duties of life worthy of
more careful consideration.
Sitting by the dancing flittering firelight, Newton reasoned. and Fulton stud



WHAT SHALL WE READ?       121
ied, with many others, a long gallery of
names of whom the world is justly proud.
Not merely the circumstances in life, but
a thousand varied influences go to form
the child's life, to mould the character:
the unconscious influence, the caress, the
half-spoken word, the unvoiced rebuke,
the speaking, pleading eye, the silent
prayer.
In the division of duties we are not
to forget a specified season of prayer,
an hour set aside to intercede for ourselves and our'loved ones at the throne
of grace; specifying their names one by
one, breathing our hopes, fears, desires
4into the ear of our heavenly Father;
beseeching him by his great mercy to
have them in his most holy keeping.
Let the children know this hour; let
them see how much we lean upon the
arm of his love for wisdom to guide and
direct us in all that we do. Let them




122           WOMAN.
feel how much we value these precious
seasons of communion with Christ, in
joy or in sorrow going to him freely,
talking with him just as they are accustomed to see us talk with our long cherished friends.
A mother who has the happiness of
seeing all her sons occupying places of
trust and responsibility —all of them,
with one exception, converted in early
life-made it a practice to kneel with
her boys separately: specifying the little
daily acts of each one, imploring that the
good in his character might be strengthened, the ill blotted out; thus making
the Saviour her confidant, and leading
her children to feel that whatever was
done would be repeated by the mother.
On one occasion she was obliged to
administer correction to the youngest,
leaving him in his room while she went
about her ordinary duties.  Presently




WHAT SHALL WE READ?       123
the door opened and a little pleading
voice cried:
"Mamma, I'm fretted; let us go and
tell Jesus." And not until she led him
to the accustomed room, and kneeling
with him, told the Saviour just what he
had done, could the child feel that the
wrong was forgiven.
Such hours with our children are to
be looked upon as seasons of communion with God, in which our souls gain
new vigor, and from which we are to
return filled with that fulness of delight
which every soul must feel after an interview with its Beloved.
^ v^^^^B' \




VI.
What Shall We Sing?
G(QJ  HE question implies that we
a~ I'do sing. Music belongs to the
family as much as song to birds,
sunshine to flowers, dew to the
parched fields. Who ever forgets the music of a mother's voice in a
mother's song? or is not, later in life,
conscious at times of a secret longing
down deep in the heart to be folded
once more in the same loving arms, to
be rocked to sleep with the same soft
lullaby?  Why is it that our hearts
thrill with rapture as we listen to the
grand onward flow of Old Hundred, or
Coronatiop, in the sweet "still hour of




WHAT SHALL WE SING?       125
prayer," save that a mother's face is
hidden there, a mother's voice lingering
in the inmost recesses of our hearts?
Since we are to have music in heaven, it
is well to commence on earth. What so
natural to the renewed heart as praise?
Joy and gladness bubble up in the heart
of a child. Some one has appropriately
said: "The Christian life is only a glorified childhood."
If we would have home bright, beautiful, and happy, we must not be afraid
to sing. "Make a joyful noise unto
God, all ye lands, sing forth the honor
of his name: make his praise glorious;
all the earth shall worship thee, they
shall sing to thy name."
With what feelings of awe and reverence we walk on the shores of the
great sea, and listen to the choral chant
sweeping up from innumerable waves;
the grand "all hail" echoing along the




126           WOMAN.
vaulted arch; "the stars singing together," and the sons of God striking
their golden harps in unison. The winds
like the tread of mighty armies, swelling
across the plain, and through the treetops, deep, full, sonorous; then low, sad,
plaintive. The song of the breeze and
the rain-drops; the flower bells and the
lily cups joining in the chorus: "All
the earth shall worship thee, they shall
sing to thy name."
What recollection is more pleasing
than the gatherings at nightfall; the
memory of mingled voices blending still
closer the harmonies of affection, by the
refining influences of this heaven-born
art. No one influence will add more to
the comfort of home than the cultivation
of pure and elevating music. With it
children are more easily governed, and
its practice is favorable to refinement of
thought and elevation of character.




WHAT SHALL WE SING?       127
As our little ones grew older we paid
more attention to music; their father
had a good voice, and I had been said
to know something of it in my young
days; and with Margaret and Jem to
carry a part, we frequently sat in the
twilight and sang, not minding if the
passers stopped at the gate. Gertrude
had a sweet voice, and in her new home
she was favored with a rare teacher.
Professor Islam was a thorough musician. His soul was full of music bubbling up and running over his lips;
every nerve thrilled with melody; his
movement was the poetry of song, and
loving his art, he loved the Giver; and
loving God he loved every created being,
and longed with all the fervor of his great
generous heart to teach them to sing.
Professor Islam passed by one evening
just as we had gathered around the instrument with our evening songs. The




128           WOMAN.
voices of the children filled him with a
desire to enter. The hour passed on
the wings of melody. Hitherto we had
been obliged to dispense with a tenor.
Although so young, Margaret was a
lover of music, and putting her lips to
my ear, she begged me to invite the professor to come again. The next day my
neighbor called in person. "Would I
be so good as to permit Margaret to
take lessons of Gertrude's teacher?" It
was the very thing I had desired, and
renewed cause had we to sing; for His
goodness had been round about us-His
banner over us had been love.
The family is the nursery of the church.
Hence a Christian family must sing with
the same spirit in which they pray.
Singing is only talking in a different
key: "singing with the spirit, and with
the understanding."  Two spirits cannot prevail in us at the same time, a




WHAT SHALL WE SING?        129
spirit of praise and thanksgiving, and a
spirit of gloom and despondency are not
expected to harmonize.
In the selection of music the same
conscientious care is required as in reading. If we would shun low, vain, trifling
reading, we must not sing low, vain, foolish songs. It is impossible for the soul
to rise on the wings of melody if the
words are light and frivolous. The charm
is not alone in the air, the sentiment
must be refined and elevating, or the
influence of the melody is lost. In conversation a musical voice heightens the
effect, it gives pleasure, we love to listen; but it is the theme that has the
power, lifting us above the trivial employments of time, filling the soul with
glimpses of what is beyoAd, strengthening and invigorating by its genial influences and causing the pathway of life to
brighten with added loveliness.
Woman.          9




130           WOMAN.
As in conversation pictures of nobleness and truth are stamped upon the
soul, so with music the words should be
pure, elevating, the air inspiring. "Is
any merry? let him sing." Is any sad,
song has a healing balm. Heaven is
described as a place where each inhabitant has a crown and a harp.
Besides the pleasure received, music
is an educator; the study of it as a
science has as much to do in disciplining
the mind as a course in mathematics, or
the study of languages.  The laws of
rhyme, harmony, and counterpoint are
not mastered without long and attentive
study, laying the foundation for close
consecutive thought ind well-digested
argument.
As a people we have been behind in
the study of music; but that day is past.
Music is no longer a graft, we may safely consider it an inborn principle, or




WHAT SHALL WE SING?      131
rather to be drunk in by our children
with the air they breathe.. Much of this
we doubtless owe to the loved authors
of Hebron, Uxbridge, and other like
modern compositions. All praise to the
energy and skill brought to bear upon
the turning-point in our musical history.
It is to their far-sightedness that we are
indebted for the introduction of music
into our public schools: while it is still
left to us as mothers to introduce it into
our families; a tiny golden thread let
down from heaven by which our children are to be led along the path of
rectitude and honor. Next to prayer,
mnusic is the best safeguard; evil thoughts
and base purposes cannot enchain a soul
accustomed to soar into the divine realm
of sacred melody.
It was said by the corn-law rhymer,
"Let me make the songs for the people,
and I care not who makes the laws."




132           WOMAN.
From Jubal to the present time music
has been a powerful instrument to inspire. The soldier is led on to victory
by it, the devotion of the Christian is
heightened by it, social life is enlivened
and polished: while it is to the family a
divine messenger of love, stimulating to
good works, linking heart to heart, and
binding with a threefold cord to the
throne of God.
The love and practice of music tend
to benevolence, just as the love of God
in the soul does away with caste and
exclusive privilege.
"Mamma," said Margaret as she came
from her lesson, her face aglow with enthusiasm, "Professor Islam says it can
be done."
" What can be done, my child?"
"The little musical entertainment that
you and papa were speaking of."
"You asked him?"




WHAT SHALL WE SING?      133'Was it wrong, mamma?" and the
blue eyes grew misty, "I did so want
the money, and if we sing for it, it will
be ours to give; and mamma," coming
very near and leaning her head on my
shoulder, " God will think more of it,
gained in this way, than he would if
papa was rich and could give it to us."
We had been talking of a missionschool in connection with our regular
church work, but funds were wanting,
and looking about for ways and means
a musical entertainment or concert by
our little band was suggested. It only
needed my neighbor's influence and the
professor's leadership to insure success,
and this the children had obtained.
In all plans of benevolence we were
in the habit of allowing the children to
share. Thus their interest was enlisted,
and the habit of giving, or of dividing
what they had with those who had less,




134           WOMAN.
was established. Not alone for the mission-school but daily as we met, Margaret and Gertrude joined in singing
the standard hymns and tunes, the little
waifs chiming in with great spirit and
abandon.
In every heart there is a germ of love
for the good and the beautiful, and it is
to cultivate this germ, to awaken the
desire in the soul for something higher,
holier, more abiding, that we are to
work. As Christians, in whatever department or of whatever age, we need
to praise more; joy sitting in our hearts,
the language of thankfulness on our lips,
bursting into song in view of His great
kindness, His long suffering, the tenderness of His great love.
To sing with the heart and with the
understanding is at all times attractive,
interesting, and profitable.




VII.
The Friends That We Make.
^/   j/' OOKINOG into the mirror
of God's word, we find specific
rules with reference to the
aw friends that we make, the intimacies that tighten around
us, the influences that mould and fashion. Especially is this to be considered
in youth, at the time when habits are
formed and the foundations of character
laid.  As mothers we have seen how
easily the good resolve was weakened
through associations with a genial but
unprincipled companion.  An evening
passed in questionable society has been
the ruin of many a youth.




136           WOMAN.
"Can a man take fire in his bosom
and his clothes not be burned?  Can
one go on hot coals and his feet not be
burned?" showing plainly the effect of
intimate relationship between the vicious
and the good: "for what fellowship hath
righteousness with unrighteousness? and
what communion hath light with darkness? and what concord hath Christ
with Belial? or what part hath he that
believeth with an infidel?" "And what
agreement hath the temple of God with
idols? for ye are the temple of the living God."  "Wherefore come out from
among them, and be ye separate, saith
the Lord.'  "And ye shall be my sons
and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty."
The line of demarcation between the
godly and the ungodly is a distinct one.
It cannot be broken down.   In the
world, but not of it, the followers of
One who went about doing good, the




THE FRIENDS THAT WE MAKE. 137
friend of publicans and sinners, we are
to imitate Him, "doing good as we have
opportunity;" not holding ourselves utterly aloof from the erring, but careful
in our associations that we are the leaders, not the led; not in any wise overcome of evil.
There is a love of complacency, and
a love of benevolence; the former we
give to those whom we term our friends,
persons of like habits and feelings, their
peculiar qualities of heart and mind reaching a deeper and more intimate part of
us, adapting themselves with a nice fit
and adjustment to what is characteristic
tin us, so that they are bound to us
and we to them by strong and sacred
ties.
The love of benevolence implies that
we love, with a readiness to do good,
every creature that God has made. If
evil, so much the more do we strive to




138           WOMAN.
do them good; lost sheep of the same
flock, whom we are with all kindness to
find and to lead back to the Shepherd
from whom they have strayed. As in
our dwellings we have different guest
chambers, so with the heart chambers
it is the privilege of but few to enter
the inner sanctuary.  Loving all, and
ready to lay down his life for the most
unworthy, Jesus had a few friends whom
he loved with a still tenderer feeling.
John is spoken of as "the beloved;
while a peculiar friendship Jesus manifested for that small family in Bethany.
If we would arm our children with
full and complete knowledge, we must
not shield them from contact with the
outer world: temptation is a test of virtue. Standing on the bank the boy will
never learn to swim. If he would know
his strength, he must dive into the deep
water, he must accustom himself to the




THE FRIENDS THAT WE MAKE. 139
effort, and it will not be long ere he
looks upon the waves with a fearless
eye: he has learned how to breast them.
The black waves of sin are seething
all around us. If we would have part
in the great ingathering, we must begin, we must suffer our children to begin. Much good has been accomplished
through the ministry of the little ones.
There is little danger but the Father will
protect us and ours when we are occupied with his business. God does not
promise exemption from suffering, neither
from temptation. His promise is to be
with us, his grace sufficient in times of'sorest need.
As mothers, we cannot expect to remain long with our children. In his providence we may soon be called to leave
them. At best, just as they are fitted
to be our companions, our helpers, we
are expected to give them, one by one,




140           WOMAN.
to the guardianship of others, going
out from us to build up homes for themselves.  A dear-bought privilege, "to
bear, to rear, and to lose." Little clinging arms! never is the mother's heart so
full of sacred joy, as when she feels your
clasping, looks down into the dancing
eyes, the rosy dimpled mouth reposing so trustingly on her breast.  Messengers of love lent, not given, to be
trained and polished for " cornerstones."
Loving, is it not a mistake to pamper
them too much? to hedge them round
with so much luxury that the loss of it
would leave them oarless and helmless,
or stranded and broken by the tide?
If we would see our daughters polished and beautiful, we must train them
for the battle of life. God's jewels are
refined in the furnace, they are cut with
the keen blade of sorrow, they are filed
and polished by a long weary process,




THE FRIENDS THAT WE MAKE. 141
and only by this are they fitted for the
crown.
The family is God's workshop; precious jewels are here to go through the
polishing process, and a portion of the
work is assigned to us. Instead of keeping them in the tower like the crown
jewels of England, we are to teach them,
that although young, they are not too
young to exert a good influence over
those with whom they have to do; to
show them the difference between the
sweet personal intercourse of kindred
minds, and the large-hearted open benevolence felt for all, especially the aged,
the infirm, the helplessly poor and neglected.
The want of reverence is a crying sin
of our times. As mothers, cannot we
teach our children that respect is due
the hoary head? Cannot we teach them
that to listen is in itself an accomplish



142           WOMAN.
ment unrivalled by its opposite "to talk
well"? Cannot we show them that the
sweetest lessons of piety and wisdom
are to be drawn from sources having
but little in the exterior to claim the
eye?
When Jesus was upon earth he was
the friend of the poor and the needy,
the low, even the wicked, lost, doomed
malefactor. He did not shut himself up
in a palace, he had not even a cottage
home, he lacked needed comfort; he was
cold and hungry, but never diverted
from his great work; he saw the way,
he knew the agony that was before him.
But no, he could not turn back. The
cup given him he must drink, bitter
though it be: great drops of agony standing on that pure brow, like drops of
blood.
All this was for us, it was for our
children. In settling the question with




THE FRIENDS THAT WE MAKE. 143
regard to the friends that we make, let
us aim first of all to make a friend of
Jesus; not a nominal friend, but a companion, known, loved, honored, and confided in. Let us not rest satisfied until
each of our children has won the lasting friendship of this same Jesus. Trusting in him, and guided by his precepts,
we cannot go astray in making to ourselves earthly friends. If we love him
we shall not be inclined to take into the
inner sanctuary of the heart one who
does not regard Him whom our soul loveth. What communion could there be?
linked but still apart; drinking at different cisterns: eating, but not of the same
bread.
If we would be eager to secure the
friendship of Jesus for our children, let
us in their very babyhood give them in
prayer and faith to him; claiming the
promise,'all things whatsoever ye shall




144           WOMAN.
ask in prayer believing, ye shall receive;" teaching them in all things. so
that their walk may be in keeping with
the written word.
A mother who had brought up a large
family of children, all of whom had become members of the Christian fold, was
asked what means she had used with so
much success, to win them to the cross.
She replied: "I have always felt that if
they were not converted before they became seven or eight years of age, they
would probably be lost; and when they
have approached that age, I have been
in an agony lest they should pass it
unconverted. I have gone to the Lord
in my anguish, and he has not turned
away my prayers, nor his mercy from
me."
Oh, the happiness of such a mother!
The sweet communion of such a family,
heaven begun upon earth —living and




THE FRIENDS THAT WE MAKE. 145
working to promote the same object,
seeking the poor, the weak, the miserable, and leading them to Jesus.  To
the old and hardened in sin, little children are angel ministers'; their sweet
lispings of Jesus touch the obstinate
heart. They listen as they would not
to the mature Christian; they confide
in the trusting child-love; they do not
think of questioning, they do not suspect artifice; and often, the arrow once
lodged in their hearts, they do not rest
till they have found an interest in the
same Saviour.
God does not need man's intellect; the
power of his Spirit is not shown through
the wisdom of this world.' Out of the
mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou.
ordained strength." The smallest stars
are nearest to the great centre, little
arms cling the closest, and little children
often excel us; their simple artless quesWoman.          10




146           WOMAN.
tions are like nails fastened in a sure
place.  In Gertrude's home, her frequent entertainments are given. Had I
been skeptical with reference to what a
child can do, I should have been convinced by seeing what she has already
accomplished.
Colonel II   - had just returned from
a long residence abroad.  A  man of
rare native ability and inheriting large
wealth, he was favored with extensive
mental culture.  Universities and colleges bestowed their favors, and society
offered a charmed cup. Elegant in manner, fascinating in appearance, Colonel
H —    was an infidel. His understanding could not take in the sublime truths
of the gospel, and because he could not
comprehend, he scouted it entirely, and
for years the Bible was to him a sealed
book.  Colonel H  -   made his home
in the family by whom Gertrude was




THE FRIENDS THAT WE MAKE. 147
adopted.  His heart was won by the
sweet beauty of the child, and when she
slid her hand into his and asked him to
go with her to church, and to the mission-school, he could not refuse. The
idea of good was not in his heart. A
man of the world,-petted by society, with
a balanced mind and well-established
principles, to be led by a child! No, of
course he would never change; but Gertrude asked him, and he loved the child.
Months passed. Colonel H-     was
ill, nigh unto death.  His little friend
was with him, her sensitive nature was
touched, and in her sweet artless manmer did she ask Jesus in behalf of her
sick friend.  As he grew better she
curled herself up beside him, and read
from her small Bible. She told him of
Jesus, her own precious friend.  Her
manner was simple and direct; the heart
of the invalid was tender, he saw the




148           WOMAN.
preciousness of such a Friend, he longed
to claim him for his own.
"Only love him," whispered Gertrude.
"But will he let me?"
"I love you!" whispered Gertrude.
"But Jesus I have slighted for so
many years, I am afraid that he will
refuse me now!"
" Afraid of Jesus! Why it's because
you do n't know him. All the days that
you was ill, he was right here; I used to
ask him for you every day, and he loved
you, or he wouldn't have let you get
well. Do love him just a little bit;"
and burying her face in the pillow the
little one wept.
It was a new idea to Colonel HDid he in reality owe his life to Jesus?
and the question once started could not
be put aside. A breach once made, the
strong barrier of infidelity gradually
crumbled away, the strong man saw




THE FRIENDS THAT WE MAKE. 149
himself a sinner in the sight of God, an
ingrate, lost, ruined, undone, without a
Mediator. For a time he was almost
in despair.  "I, even I, am he that
comforteth you," whispered Gertrude.
"Though your sins be as scarlet, they
shall be white as snow; though they be
red like crimson, they shall be as wool."
Blessed little teacher, leading the man
of intellect to Jesus. Well might Colonel H —   say, as he did say in giving
in his Christian experience, "It was not
by might, neither the wisdom of the
world, nor the pride of intellect; but by
his Spirit and the teaching of a little
child."
^S^^^^^^~'-~~ ~




VIII.
Self-Denial.
((    HE lesson of self-denial is of
4'j   the utmost importance in lay(  ing the groundwork of a good,
noble character for our children.
Self, and the importance that
attaches to personal gratification, is a
weed of such strong growth, that unless
early attention is given it, a judicious
pruning and lopping of the overgrown
leaves, they will effectually shut out the
sunshine from the flowers, and mar their
beauty and harmony.
Surely, some one says, we are not
to expect our children to understand the
true principles of self-denial, and under



SELF-DENIAL.         151
standing, thus be brought to practise it.
Why not? Is not the germ of goodness
the same? The oak was once a sapling;
the man was once a babe: in either case
the change was gradual.  The sapling
grew and was counted by years; the
babe grew slowly, by degrees. When the
oak was a sapling, it could be swayed and
bent and made to grow straight or crooked. By a process known to gardeners,
it could have been dwarfed, and still have
been harmonious in all its parts.  Unnatural as such a growth would be, it
would have remained an oak. No process could change its nature.
Is it not thus with the child?  Like
the sapling, can he not be swayed and
bent and made to grow straight or crooked? In either case, if we would have a
perfect development, there must be no
forced growth. To train is all that is
required. As in the oak all the limbs




152           WOMAN.
do not make their appearance at the
same time, so in the child the inclinations and native tendencies do not show
themselves at once. Selfishness is radical, however; the babe in our arms gives
ample proof. Look how he clutches the
toy; he will not yield it. "Mine, mine!"
he cries, and hugging it in his arms, he
exerts his strength to retain it. True,
some children show more of this propensity than others; but on every page of
human nature self is written in characters more or less defined. This principle is needful to an extent.  We do not
wish to destroy and uproot it, but to
prune and tend it, keeping it under; for
if left to run wild, it will so shadow the
virtues as materially to affect the fruit.
Looking into the sacred volume, we
find that self-denial is made the condition of discipleship by our Saviour, so
that, unless in some degree we practise




SELF-DENIAL.         153
it, our claim to the character and privileges of Christians is invalid. But what
is its nature?
Self-denial, when practised through
love or for the sake of a loved object,
has nothing austere or ascetic.  It does
not call for pilgrimages, hardships, and
seclusion; neither has it a sour look and
crabbed appearance. By self-denial, we
mean a persevering effort to conform desire, appetite, and temper to the requirement of God's word; content with our
lot, resigned to providential appointment, submissive to God as to a Father,
But why must our children deny themselves? So that they may early acquire
this grace, esteeming others better than
themselves, giving with a generous hand,
finding pleasure in seeing others happy.
Otherwise they may grow up to be penurious, grasping, forgetful that the Father
of mercies not only beholds, but gra



154           WOMAN.
ciously promises to reward the good that
is done in his name; teaching our children not only to embrace opportunities
to do good, but to create them, and be
thus always abounding in the work of
the Lord.
The boy that divides his books or his
toys with those who have less, not only
does a praiseworthy act, but he is laying
the foundation for a noble, generous manhood. The girl that gives her doll to
the sick child of a poor neighbor, reaps
a pleasure that she could not from any
other source, and will most likely grow
into a full, free, generous-hearted woman.
Many parents are in the habit of giving freely, and also lead their children
to give in the same munificent manner.
Said a lady, "I never knew any thing of
the spirit of self-denial until I was under
the necessity of earning for myself. As
a child, I was in the habit of giving free



SELF-DENIAL.         155
]y; but it was of my superfluity. Did I
give any thing to the cause of humanity,
my parents took occasion to supply me
with something more valuable, and more
highly prized because of its freshness."
We need not say that there is nothing
of self-denial in such giving. Whatever
the circumstances of the parent, in order
to learn the lesson of self-denial the gift
of the child must be coupled with personal effort or sacrifice.  Above all, he
is to feel that it is for Christ's sake. If
he has already given himself to Christ,
it will not require many words to convince him of the beauty as well as of the
necessity of doing good without selfishness.
God loves a cheerful giver.  Let the
object of our bounty see that it is love
that inspires us.  The kindness with
which a favor is bestowed will double
the value of it with a grateful receiver.




156           WOMAN.
Hence the beautiful exhortation, "He
that giveth, let him do it with simplicity;" that is, without extolling or debasing his gift; without ostentation, without
pride. Let our children understand that
God expects us to give according to our
means; pennies will not do for one who
has pounds. The gift of a flower, a leaf,
if one has nothing more, has power to
mould character and to form habit.
Merely giving is but a small part of
what is understood by self-denial. In
every family, not a day but calls for the
practice of this virtue-at the table and
in the parlor, the small preferences, the
cosiest chair at the fire, the favorite seat
at the window, the coveted place on
papa's knee, the seat in the carriage
when all cannot go, the rare fruit or delicate viand. On occasions like these,
how beautiful to observe the spirit of
self-denial, the oldest giving preference




SELF-DENIAL.          157
to the youngest, the strongest to the
weakest, each vying with the other for
the pleasure and practice of self-denial.
If our children are thus accustomed in
their youth, may we not expect that
they will not depart from such a course,
as they grow to be men and women, in
their turn to teach and to lead others?
In almost every neighborhood there
are families more or less destitute, people
of genuine worth in many respects, but
crippled for the want of means; without
friends, without books, without every
thing save the bare necessaries of life.
An occasional call, a few books left as a
loan, a garment fitted and made to look
becomingly, a few words of friendly advice or suggestion, cost nothing save a
little self-denial, and throw a world of
sunshine over the humble home.
In every locality, and especially among
the destitute, there are more or less chil



158           WOMAN.
dren unable to go to school. Could there
be a purer pleasure than to gather these
little waifs into a comfortable room and
instruct them, teaching them to sew, to
knit, as well as to read and study?  A
little self-denial by one who has the
leisure, and the entire neighborhood is
remodelled and made to wear a very
different aspect.
Many a sick-room has been brightened, the heart of the sufferer filled with
hope, the hands strengthened, by the
timely aid that came through the practice of self-denial by a prosperous neighbor. Little deeds like these done by our
children, will be worth to them more
than houses and lands without them.
Life is not long enough to indulge in selfishness; and still, to do good is not a
natural growth; it is the effect of teaching. This spirit fostered in our homes
tends to broad and enlightened views.




SELF-DENIAL.         159
Visiting the sick and the suffering, a
habit of listening is formed-no mean
accomplishment, as may be found in after
years; and also the power of winning
attention-an easy assimilation and adaptation to others and to their groove of
thought.  The mind needs unresisting,
merely listening attention for its development; and this is found on reading to
those whose understanding, for the want
of culture, does not enable them to detect flaws or to make criticisms, but
merely to enjoy, and in a measure to
profit by what is given them.
It is an aphorism worthy of a deep
and permanent impression on our hearts,
that self-denial is the source of our highest gratification.




IX.
School Life.
(HERE      is no more critical
x  period in childhood, perhaps,
than when the question of school
and school duties is first agitated; when we send our children
away from our immediate care and protection, and share the labor and responsibility with another, and that other a
stranger, but partially known at best,
and frequently not at all.
It had been -our care to instruct the
children. Margaret could read and write
correctly, and Jem was ready for Latin;
Maude had outgrown the name of "baby;;" a last year's nursling was in my




SCHOOL LIFE.         161
arms; and with such increase of care, I
could no longer do justice to their lessons. The question had frequently been
asked, and now we felt it must be answered, "Can we place our children
among strangers? Shall we keep them at
home, or send them to the public school?"
Each plan had its advantages and its
drawbacks.  Margaret and Jem were
not widely divided in their studies; they
had been in the same class. We did not
like to separate them. We could not
think of sending them from home. Each
would serve as mentor to the otherJem's mirth toned down to a gentle decorum by his sister's speech; while Maude
would lean upon both, and at home I
should feel better satisfied.
Try as I would, it was hard to see
them go; and holding Birdie up, my
hungry eyes followed them out of sight"away from all who love them." It was
11




162           WOMAN.
their first step into the world, and a
quick pang shot through my heart as
they went-Margaret with her tender
eyes, and Jem noble and manly, as he
always had been at home; but I knew
him to be quick and irascible, feeling
intensely, and sometimes rash, but when
he did a wrong so truly sorry; and
stretching out my arms, I longed to take
him-to take them all to my sheltering
heart.
It was a quick thought, and shot upward like a flame, wrapping me in with
doubts and fears, and almost murmurings. How could I let them go, my
priceless jewels? What if stain or long
and ugly scar should mar the work?
The tears streamed down my face. The
work was mine to rear and train them
all; to fit them for the world, and thus
for a place in heaven. I could not hope
to keep them with me. At best the path




SCHOOL LIFE.         163
through life would be a tangled one. But
He in whom we trusted would lead and
guide and teach. It was a sweet thought,
and all at once my mind was calm. My
babes were His to keep, and mine to
teach them not to wander from his side.
As the sun went down the children
came from school, a certain awe and
wonder in their eyes; so much they had
to tell, and Maude was very sure she'd
love the little girl "in the red dress and
pretty soft brown hair;" and the teacher
was kind and good, like mamma. I took
her to my heart and hugged her close,
my blue-eyed Maude; and a yearning
love went out to that fair teacher, "kind
and good, like mamma."
Jem told us of the sports at recess, and
that he could run as fast as the fastest,
and throw a ball; and cricket he could
learn, did papa think it suitable for such
a boy.  All the time Margaret's face




164           WOMAN.
wore a look of such sweet gravity. I
could not but kiss the child, and ask of
the lessons, Were they difficult and hard
to learn? With this she opened her
Latin grammar, pointing to "Amo."
"That is all, and Jem must take'Musa."' It was a pleasant evening running
through "Amo;" first papa and myself,
then Margaret, and at last Jem's facile
tongue rang out the changes on "Musa"
as though it had been his mother tongue.
The next day I was happier, sending
my thought out on a pleasanter track.
Gertrude was with them, and Professor
Islam was to give vocal lessons in the
same school. And their influence, if
we were careful to keep it pure at home,
would show itself like some clear stream;
at first a tiny brook, but widening as it
grew, freshening the fields and giving
beauty to the wayside flowers. Was
not this our end and aim? And thus




SCHOOL LIFE.         165
far God had blessed us. Why distrust 
I grew to loathe my fear, and pressed
near to ask for gifts. I held his promise, "Ask," and I knew his word could
never fail.
As school life advanced, we became
more intimately acquainted with the
teachers, and my heart went out to this
class as it had never done before. I saw
that some held teaching as a high and
sacred office, and others looked upon it
as a means to live. But why expect any
class, or all of a class, to be free from
fault? A teacher's responsibility is only
second to that of the mother; and as
mothers we see much in our own hearts
that we would have otherwise. Motives
are the criterion, however, and that one
does most good who uniformly acts from
the highest, purest motives.
It was said by a man of eminent worth
that every step of life is a discipline,




166            WOMAN.
every breath a refiner. Pleasant as student life may be, it has its dangers. Ambitious to excel, the scholar not unfrequently runs into gross error; and to
hide this he practises still another, and
another, until he becomes an adept in
duplicity and falsehood in every degree,
and for every purpose. It is so easy, if
the pupil has a difficult or a disagreeable
duty, to stay away from class; and if the
reason is asked, as it is sure to be, to
plead illness is almost natural when the
pupil understands that an engagement
will not answer.  If the rules are so
stringent as only to be satisfied with a
written communication from the parent,
it is easy to ask and obtain an excuse.
Otherwise the daughter herself writes,
signs her mother's name, and it is done.
The first instance, conscience most likely
cries out against it as unjust, dishonorable, and highly injurious to the pupil.




SCHOOL LIFE.          167
The next, the voice is less strong, and
at length it ceases to speak.
To excel in composition is a natural
desire; fancy is excited, imagination
stimulated, intellect awakened.  The
effusion of the youthful writer is praised;
prophets rise up, and down the future
the young aspirant for literary honors
sends her gaze; lights are flashing, and
garlands of beauty to crown her brow.
With extended research, she clips to suit
herself, and before she is aware she has
dropped from the height she was so sure
to win.
Perhaps there is no time when we
should so closely attach ourselves to our
daughters as during the period of school
life, offering ourselves as companions,
studying with them, sympathizing with
them, winning their confidence. Naturally demonstrative, the school girl must
have some one to love and to confide in.




168           WOMAN.
With a character still unformed, she
cannot herself judge of her associates
except so far as the exterior is concerned. A sad thing if she has not a mother
who can be touched with her need. who
can enter into all her petty trials, who
can understand the peculiar temptations
liable to meet her every day; a mother
willing to watch the springs of action,
keeping the soul from  the miasma of
wrong influence by well-timed speech
and example.
Many a young girl has taken her first
downward step while at school. Susceptible and easily pleased, she often forms
acquaintances that are worse than profitless. At first it is only a chance meeting
going to and from school; then growing
bolder, her new' friend lends her books,
or offers a bouquet. Nothing could be
more respectful.  The girl is unsuspecting; but the chain is being forged that




SCHOOL LIFE.         169
will tighten around the delicate form, and
at last sink her with its terrible weight.
As mothers, we have need of all our
powers. While we sit idle the enemy is
sowing tares. The great Gardener who
gave us this vine to train will come to
question us with reference to our work.
The gem given us to polish will be required at our hands. The bird we were
to teach to sing will be wanting in paradise, if we are unfaithful.
These are but few of the avenues
whereby wrong creeps into student life.
Not unfrequently the love of dress is
fostered; vanity fed into a flame; romance and sentiment give false views
of the reality and responsibility of life.
Said a pious woman, in speaking of her
daughter: "I consider the period of
school-girl life the most beautiful and
the most dangerous in the path of woman." If this is true, and our own expe



170          WOMAN.
rience goes to sustain it, must we not
seek to lay the foundation before our
daughters go from us?
Perhaps there is no one thing that
needs more careful watch than the socalled recreation, the unbending from
study, the refreshment and diversion,
the picking up a book light as foam and
brilliant with false glare.  Such reading, although but momentary, tends to
deaden the soul, to dwarf the intellect,
to benumb the senses, leaving the imagination to take the lead; and thus the
advantages of which the student might
have availed herself prove only swift
messengers leading down to death. Said
a mother, in speaking of the popular
romances of the day: "I am thankful
that my daughter does not read them."
"Are you sure?" asked a friend, who
understood the child much better than
the mother did.




SCHOOL LIFE.         171
"Oh, yes, I am sure; she gives her
time to her lessons. I have been particularly careful. She never reads novels."
Deception was perfect in this case;
the mother did not know. A conscientious woman, she did not dream that her
daughter would read by stealth, devoting
study hours to her lessons, and sitting up
half the night poring over books sure to
leave stains on her soul.
Another evil, but happily not so frequent as years ago, is an undue love of
study. Led on by conscientious motives,
anxious to make the most of present opportunity, the poor girl studies, heedless
4of law, unknowing, at least unthinking,
that if nature is taxed wrongfully, she
will be avenged. Neither will the mind
bear consecutive hours of unbroken study.
Progress is not of forced growth. So
much as the mind can digest, patiently
persevered in, will accomplish the desire;




172           WOMAN.
but study that becomes a tax, through
weariness of brain and muscle, does no
good; more than this, it clogs the brain,
and therefore weakens it. As a rule, in
mental effort, when weary, rest is necessary. To sit passive is not always required; change gives the mind a respite.
In this way thought will strengthen, the
taxed energies regain their vigor; and
the advance will be all the more marked
for what at first may seem lost time.
True, there are cases where the strength
and activity of the mental powers hold
the body in abeyance-souls that sit and
sing, regardless of the frail tenement that
shelters them; but these are exceptions.
God may have a work for such, and will
care for them.  Cannot we teach our
daughters the happy mean, and at length
have the satisfaction of seeing them ruddy and strong, yet with minds vigorous,
well cultivated, and quick to grasp great




SCHOOL LIFE.         173
and essential truths? Cannot we teach
them, that the responsibility of woman's
life calls for health of body and a welldisciplined mind; that good sense and
strong nerves are preferable to a weak
sentimentality, a shattered, irritable nervous system? God has given us a world
of beauty, and he has so ordered it that
the path, however humble, is not destitute of enjoyment. The way cannot be
lonely that is brightened by his presence; the heart that is filled with his
love has no cause for uneasiness. To
advance in mental culture, and secure a
growth of grace in the soul, reaching out
after what is holier and higher; not unmindful to teach and to lead; in all things
good showing herself a pattern; this is
the grand aim and end of woman's life.




X.
Habit.
F childhood is the time to lay
i foundations, the forming time for
j   t strong pure character and abiding principle, it is likewise the
time for habit to fasten itself: a
mere trifle, an excrescence that at first
can be removed easily; but if permitted
to harden it cannot be amputated without the knife and the danger at least
of a scar. In our children we see little
idiosyncrasies peculiar to this or that
parent or relation; a certain peculiarity
so exact that it is noticeable, and we
exclaim, "How very like!" the look, ex



HABIT.            175
pression, or fac-simile of the person in
question. In other instances it is an imitation, a parasite attaching itself to us,
sure to cling and to grow. It may come
from Bridget in the kitchen or Patrick
at the stable; or it may come from the
nursery-maid or her street acquaintance.
Where it originated is of secondary importance; it is there. To remove it is
our work. It may be the squint of the
eye, a peculiar curl to the lip, an unpleasant shrug of the shoulders, a wry
face, stammering, one or all of these;
like the measles or smallpox, of slight
importance if attended to in time; but
allowed to increase, dangerous to the
well-being of the child.
Habit does not attach itself to the outward exclusively; slang phrases and low
forms of speech, especially when flavored
with witticism, find quick appreciation
with children. The half-formed expres



176           WOMAN.
sion, meaningless as they use it, not unusually provokes merriment, causing a
laugh that encourages them to attempt
it again. Such a course, if persisted in,
may close the child's mind to any thing
better. Like his seniors, he loves to be
applauded; and if by using a cant expression or a slang phrase he succeeds
in winning a laugh, be sure that he will
repeat it, and before you are aware, he
becomes an adept, his entire speech of
the same type and quality.
With the gardener it is not enough
that he prunes and lops; not a day
escapes but he looks and examines. \The
more valuable the vine the closer is his
scrutiny: change of temperature will
affect it; too much sunshine and too little moisture wither it; insects may ruin
it, or dust disfigure it. It is the business
of the gardener to keep it fresh and vigorous, and he gives it the needful care.




HABIT.            177
Is it not thus with the plants growing
about our doors? general pruning and
culture are not sufficient, we must watch
closely, lest some rude unsightly thing
mar the beauty of the leaf, or eat into
the heart of the bud. We cannot leave
them to other hands, we cannot rest without knowing for ourselves that they are
safe.
Especially do we see the effect of
habit when our children begin to associate with others at school or on the street.
A new thing it was to see Jem come
into the parlor, his hat tipped to one
side, his hands in his pockets, an easy
do n't-care manner, whistling as he goes.
"Why, Jem, you forget yourself.
Mamma would not. like to see you come
in in this manner," said Margaret.
It does no good; Jem whistles only
the louder.
"Howard Paul never takes off his hat
Woman.         12




178           WOMAN.
in the house, and he whistles. He says
it's being cheerful."
It's being cheerfuller not to do it, I
should think," and Maude chimes in,
running up to Jem and attempting to
lift his hat.
"No, you do n't;" and Jem straightens himself up, and throws back his
head.
Jem had no idea that mamma saw
this new exhibition of manliness; but he
tried to look brave.
"Did my little boy ever see papa
enter the parlor with his hands in his
pockets, whistling, and wearing his hat?"
"I never do so away from home; it
do n't matter with only us."
"So it don't matter if you make mamma and the little sisters unhappy."
"Such little things shouldn't make
anybody unhappy."
"Have you forgotten what papa was




HABIT.            179
telling us about the temple, how every
little block fitted into its place, with no
two blocks just alike. Have you forgotten?"
"No, mamma;" and Jem's eyes were
full of tears; "I know what you would
say, our bodies are temples, and every
thing we do makes them beautiful or it
makes them ugly, and this makes me
ugly;" and flinging his arms around my
neck, he hid his brown face in my dress.
An impulsive child, I tremble for him;
and still he is quick to feel, and sorry
for a fault. Howard Paul is a dearly
loved playmate, petted by a too-indulgent aunt that stands to him in the relation of mother. I sometimes wish that
he lived not so near; but Howard has
no mother, and my heart yearns over
him.  What would become of Jem if
petted like Howard Paul?
There is a habit of saying disagreea



180           WOMAN.
ble things, that sometimes creeps into
the family circle; an undue love of teazing, that if fostered will grow into a
habit by no means praiseworthy. Not
only children, but grown people fall into
this habit, always ready to make known
an unwelcome truth: people who pride
themselves on saying what they think,
regardless of another's feelings; their
conscience quieted, if indeed it is disturbed, by saying, "Well, it is true." As
though the truth could be proclaimed at
any time, and in all circumstances.
"Why did you tell Miss Wise that
her hair was gray?"  "Because it is."
"WThy remind Mrs. Hartley that her
dress was faded?" " I saw it."  " Why
did you refer to that article in the newspaper when S      was near?"   "Because I had just read it."  "Why did
you tell Putnam that you met his old
chum and rival?" "For the reason that




HABIT.            181
I did meet him." Candid and true; but
why say it? raking up old wounds and
canker-sores in the room of sitting in
the sunshine of pleasant thoughts and
friendly interchange of views and feelings. Many who unconsciously have the
habit of saying disagreeable things, are
in the main well-meaning people. They
have no idea how their words cut; they
are disappointed, and, looking for blemishes, they are sure to find them.
True, there are occasions when the
truth must be told, independent of personal feeling; for instance, when justice
is to be done to an injured or accused
party, or when, through ambiguity, there
is misunderstanding that can be put right
by a few timely words. But this is very
different from the habit of saying disagreeable things with a spirit of malice,
or even of sport, and for the sake of
lessening enjoyment.




182           WOMAN.
The grand centre for the display of
this habit is the domestic hearth'; where,
giving loose rein to disappointed feeling,
unawed by strangers and unrestrained
by laws of good breeding, parents and
children, brothers and sisters, scatter
words that burn into the heart and brain,
and think no more of it than of eating
their daily food. Unpleasant as this picture is, it is not overdrawn. We all
have known families where the individual members, if not absolutely rude and
disagreeable in their daily intercourse,
were far from being as pleasant and as
kind as to strangers. If this is the habit
of the parent, we can scarcely blame the
children if they fall'into the same habit.
In teaching our children that home is
the place to exhibit good breeding, we
must not fail to show them that genuine
politeness belongs rather to the heart
than to the head. The true code of eti



HABIT.             183
quette is found in the Bible; the rules
are brief. and easily remembered. The
spirit of politeness is essentially the
spirit of the gospel, gentle, kind, tender,
charitable, "in honor preferring one another." By teaching our children this
code, and being careful ourselves to
abide by it, habits will be formed which
will render home happier, and give a
new charm to social influence. In order
to establish this spirit we must have the
confidence of our children, meeting them
as friends to whom they can whisper
their inmost thoughts. As companions
adapting ourselves to their preferences
and sympathies, winning them to rely
upon our judgment, to trust in our taste,
to be satisfied with our arrangements.
This intimate coinpanionship is the only
way that we can know our children thoroughly, reading their thoughts in the
expression of their countenances, and




184           WOMAN.
wisely adapting our words to the necessities of each.
Love is not only a polisher, but it is
the lamp that brings to light rare powers
of mind and soul. Genius is a plant of
delicate growth; and talent needs the
sweet appreciation of love to stimulate
exertion. We may not know the full
value of the encouragement we give our
children. A trifling assistance in a hard
lesson; the easy rendering of a translation; disentangling a problem in geometry; explaining, in a simple manner, a
philosophic argument or a chemical experiment: these are little things in themselves, but mighty in their influences.
To do this effectively our minds must
be stored with knowledge. It will not
answer to say that we have studied.
Study must be habitual. We must not
suffer ourselves to fall behind the spirit
of the age.  To keep pace with the




HABIT.            185
young fresh minds around us, we must
keep our intellects bright and our hearts
active, alive, glowing.  Care, anxiety,
fretfulness, repining, must not be suffered to spoil the sweet influences of
home.  Leading others, we must ourselves be led, looking to God continually-each thought a supplication, each
breath a prayer. We must permit our
children to see, that active and resolute
as we are in the world, to them we are
always kind and considerate, benevolent
and charitable; that there is a mystic
inner chamber into which they alone can
enter, where heaven is brought nearer,
with its glorious hopes; so that they shall
be stimulated, encouraged, and led up
through the inner sanctuary of a mother's heart.




Conversation.'~.      Y conversation, we do not
mean here any thing beyond the easy, familiar intercourse of everyday life.  In
this the children are to have a
part; to be free to speak their thoughts
or to ask questions, provided they do it
in a-respectful, courteous manner, and
with due regard to the proprieties of
time and place. Children are men and
women in miniature; they think, see,
and feel very'much as their seniors
think, see, and feel, with the advantage
that the child has of living in a world
bright, radiant, joyous. To him every




CONVERSATION.         187
thing is beautiful. A philosopher in his
way, he grasps all that he is able to
digest, and enjoys without surfeit. Every
day his curiosity is fed with a display of
mechanism that he cannot understand,
marvels of beauty that he cannot unravel. The reflection in the mirror leads
the infant to look behind it-a strange
wonder on his face as he finds nothing
but a plain board with dust and spiders'
webs. The murmur of the shell hushes
him into quiet, and his eager little mind
cannot be satisfied unless he finds the
singer. Alas, the shell is ruined, and
our little philosopher is no wiser. Violently to repress the feeling of such a
child is to injure him for life. Listen
patiently to his questions; there is wisdom in them, and the answer will not
always be as easy a matter as we sometimes think.
Families there are where the children




188           WOMAN.
creep in and out of the rooms, shy, timid,
if a stranger enters; or wild and boisterous, taking the advantage it would seem,
when visitors are by, to enjoy a little
liberty without fear of rebuke or punishment. If we would have our children
civil.when guests are in the house, we
must teach them to be amiable in the
home circle. If we would have them
speak becomingly, we must permit them
to speak freely; the stream that is dammed up will, when it breaks away, rush
with maddening force across the valley:
undue repression has the same effect
upon the child; and when he breaks
away, as he surely will, a wild, boisterous life may be the result.
Speech is the natural avenue of thought;
it is the means by which we become acquainted with our friends, making ourselves familiar with them and their peculiar forms of thought. This is the charm




CONVERSATION.         189
of friendship; a fitting in of two natures
by an easy, mutual adaptation to each
other, harmonizing and blending them
so that though different and individual,
they are still by this mystical adaptation wrought into a degree of oneness,
like the waves of the great deep.
Ties of relationship are not always the
bond for such intimate soul union; indeed, a union of soul exists frequently
where there is no such relationship. But
is this incompatible with the relation in
which we stand to our children? Cannot we gain and keep the sweet, pure
confidence of childhood?  Cannot we
take them into our hearts as friends,
adapting ourselves to their wants and
needs, sharing with them those choice
gifts and warmer intimacies that will
call out responsive qualities on their
part?  Our children are our mirrors,
reflecting our own moods and inequali



190           WOMAN.
ties, as well as the nobler attributes of
our nature. If we would stand to them
in the place of mother, friend, companion, we must talk with them as well as
to them. We must listen with easy, artJess, unconscious attention, as their very
being is unwound and laid before us.
Then and then only are we in possession
of a knowledge that will enable us to
help them day by day; and in our efforts
to profit our children, we shall ourselves
be profited.
Not long since we were invited to
spend a day with a lady of most estimable general character. Her house was
duly ordered, her dinner unexceptionable, her manner sweetly affectionate, her
conversation elevating; but her children,
two attractive'little girls, seemed like
strangers. At length, after much coaxing, I succeeded in making a slight acquaintance.  But while the little one




CONVERSATION.        191
received my caresses she seldom spoke,
and then with a covert, painful look, as
though she expected a rebuke if she
opened her lips. In the course of the
evening conversation turned upon home,
and the delight we all feel in seeing
children bright and happy.
"Your children are extremely quiet,"
I ventured to remark.' Quiet because I keep them quiet;
they would be wild as hawks if I let
them have their own way."'
"Then it is their nature to be bright
and gay."
"Always asking questions, never still;
I never saw such children; it would
just take all my time to answer them."
"If you should take the time, would
it not cause their lives to run in a
smoother and more even groove? Would
not their little minds be relieved, their
thoughts run out on pleasant subjects,




192           WOMAN.
and their hearts be sensibly brightened?"
"Surely you do not think that I wrong
my children by trying to keep them
quiet and well-behaved?" said the lady.
"I was thinking that it was possible
you did not take sufficient pains to become thoroughly acquainted with their
individual nature, making friends of
them, and talking with them in the same
easy, graceful, elevating manner you
talk with me."
" Of course not; children are not expected to understand these things."
"The heart of the child longs for sympathy and love in the little engagements
of life, as much as the mother longs for
sympathy and love in the duties that
devolve upon her. Questions that the
mother can readily answer, weigh heavily on the young spirit; and the small
but uncared-for needs pressing back




CONVERSATION.        193
upon the brain, will not only dwarf intellectual growth and vigor, but will
promote inequalities of temper and character."
"But my children are young; as they
grow older I see that they will require
more."
" More in quantity; the quality of the
mind and heart will be the same. Sympathy is what they need, the grand inspirer and mainspring in our common
nature."
"Perhaps I have erred in this matter. I did not think that children felt
the need of sympathy the same as those
who are older."
"Watch your child as she plays with
her dolls. Did ypu ever see her soil a
dress or break an arm? Look at the
tears, the anguish in the small, upturned
face. She runs to you for sympathy;
-she will never know more real sorrow,
Woman.         13




194           WOMAN.
she will never more highly appreciate
your love. She will remember it. It
will mould and fashion her future life."
Are not too many mothers following
the example of this one, feeling that
their children are too young to be treated to all the little amenities of social
life? Thus their eager questions remain
unanswered, the warm tide of their love
is turned back, their tender sympathies
are withered, and their intellects dwarfed; just as vines are kept from struggling upward by weights laid upon them,
and at length, by long continued pressure, run along the ground and climb no
higher.
When books are opened and the general routine of lessons entered upon,
there is still greater need for the young
student to give voice to the thoughts
within him. In this way he will gradually acquire fluency of speech, with an




CONVERSATION.
easy grace of manner that can never be
won if the opportunity is now lost. Exercise rounds the muscles of the arm,
and gives it beauty as well as strength.
If we would have our children reap the
highest advantage from study, we must
accustom them to talk freely of what
they study.  In this manner memory
will strengthen, judgment improve, taste
become refined, and intellect be stimulated; while the organs of speech will
become facile, easily ringing out the
thoughts with proper inflections, and
changes of expression. The voice should
be like an instrument of music, sweet,
mellow, winning, in'itself a power of inestimable value to the possessor.
A family linked by such ties is like a
paradise, a garden of delight: the parents, with knowledge and experience,
leading and guiding; the children obedient, graceful, loving, opening their




WOMAN.
nearts to the parents just as the buds
develop under the genial rays of the
sun.
This habit of social converse does not
of necessity imply the highest order of
intellect. Great intelligences scarcely
fail to shout over common minds. We
do not, as a general rule, choose friends
on account of brilliant conversational
powers; these are inestimable in an acquaintance, but might prove a drawback
in a nearer relationship. Still, so much
of conversational power we need to link
and bind family ties in sweet, intelligent,
daily intercourse. A simple English ballad, well sung, touches the heart with
deeper emotions than the splendid arias
and bravuras that inspire only wonder,
or have a certain nameless fascination
that holds the listener spell-bound, but
fail to give birth to higher, nobler, purer
feelings.




CONVERSATION.         197
The charm of conversation is in a
genial assimilation to those with whom
we converse, an adaptation to their man.
ner of thought, a way of seeming to possess only so much mind as the person
we converse with, talking like an equal.
This power is not entirely a natural gift;
it is and may be cultivated by giving
attention, seizing just those points of a
subject with which others feel most at
home, slipping into other people's way
of thought, and investing their ideas in
a dress agreeable to them. Such persons can afford to be modest, and are
sure to win attention, because they know
how to adapt themselves to the minds
of others. It is this power that renders
one charming, fascinating, irresistiblea talent well worth cultivating by both
sexes, but especially by woman.
Another advantage is the real value
of this talent to its possessor; the influ



198           WOMAN.
ence over others acquired through this
channel-their insight and experience
winning all with whom they have to do
to unfold their most secret treasures of
thought, and thus assisting them to build
their mental structure higher and still
higher.
The intercourse of mind is a mystery.
Such free and graceful conversational
power may not be ours, it may not belong to our children; but let us remember that it is in part a cultivated growth.
If we do not attain it to perfection, we
can attempt it, beginning with our children when young, training their just
budding ideas. Time will prove our
work. Effort well directed is never lost.




XII,
Hospitality.
~ioSOSPITALITY is not only a
cardinal virtue, but it is a
strong social bond, uniting famt    ilies, neighborhoods, and communities, cementing and making
firm the integral parts of the great social
system.  Man is constituted a social
being, sympathy is needful to him as the
air he breathes. It is like the sun, dispensing warmth; by it he is stimulated
to exertion and nerved for danger; his
energies are sustained, his sensibilities
made tender, and his intellect acute and
far-seeing. Isolate him, set him apart




200           WOMAN.
from his kind, and he becomes a changed
being; the vital forces of his nature ebb
and'flow with a dull, ponderous stroke.
The waves of feeling sweep over the
cold gray sands of a cheerless existence;
the intellect is dwarfed, the inner sanctuary of the heart dismantled, and the
fire on its altar becomes cold and dead.
It is by reason of man's social nature
that God "set the solitary in families."
Knowing what was in the heart of man,
he has made provision for our mental as
well as for our spiritual needs.  He
charges his followers to be lovers of hospitality, entertaining strangers, as thereby some have "entertained angels unawares."  It is one of the fundamental
principles of the Christian religion, that
it does away with caste, and breaks
down social barriers. Each and all of
the great human family stand before
Him  as miserable offenders. Of what




HOSPITALITY.         201
importance in the sight of God are the
petty differences of condition between
Dives and Lazarus, queens and serving
women, pampered ladies and unsightly
beggars? It was not the ivory and gold,
the hangings of purple and fine linen, the
pomegranates and the precious stones;
it was not the altar, but the sacrifice
laid upon the altar, the spirit in which
it was made, the purity of motive, the
humble, contrite heart, that were precious in the sight of God.
By hospitality the apostle did not
mean to enjoin simply the entertaining
of personal friends; neither did he limit
it to distribution to the saints. "Blessed
be God, even the Father of mercies and
the God of all comfort, who comforteth
us in all our tribulation, that we may be
able to comfort them which are in any
trouble, by the comfort wherewith we
ourselves are comforted of God." This




202           WOMAN.
is the secret of hospitality, that we may
comfort others.
If hospitality is a virtue that we would
see our children possessed of, we must
cultivate it at home-opening our doors
especially to those who stand in need of
comfort or consolation, that we may comfort them according to the measure that
we have received. Hearts are strangely
alike, little kindnesses find the quickest
avenues; the look of sympathy, the firm
hand-clasp, the tender, genial word, these
cost nothing, why do we withhold them?
Children learn of us; they do as we do.
If we neglect the poor, shutting the door
upon them because they are abject and
uncomely, so will they. If we look coldly upon the stranger, passing him by
because he is a stranger, so will they.
Poor and perhaps sinful he may.be, yet
why may we not open our doors to him,
give him the shelter of a roof, talk with




HOSPITALITY.         203
him, pray with him, tell him of Jesus?
He is a stranger; yet why may we not
take him by the hand? Though a stranger to us, he may not be a stranger to
God; and if a stranger and an alien, yet
the dear heavenly Father is still waiting
to receive him. Is this not a fitting opportunity to whisper in his ear the name
of Jesus? Do we "covet earnestly the
best gifts" for our children? we must
not fail to let them see how good and
sweet a thing it is to be kindly considerate one of another, ready with the
right word in the right place, letting our
light so shine that the beauty of holiness
twill be revealed, and the world be attracted and won by it.
In cultivating a spirit of hospitality,
as in the distribution of our goods, the
blessing that follows more than repays
us for the self-denial practised.  The
sensible presence of the Master is given




204           WOMAN.
to us, and the comforting words, "Whosoever shall give to drink unto one of
these little ones, a cup of cold water in
my name, shall in no wise lose his reward." Subject as we are to change, the
rolling years sweeping away friends like
leaves before the autumn winds, and the
home comfort gathered in a lifetime swallowed by fire or shipwreck, what security have we that some adverse gale
will not strip us of the accidentals that
go to make so large a part of every life?
In view of these changes, it is fitting
that we keep open doors, ready to share
with those who have less. If no more
than a cup of cold water, do not deny
the children the privilege of bearing it
in their own hands; do not deprive them
of the blessedness of doing it for Christ's
sake. Comforting others will only prove
another means of making home happy.
Conversant with the sorrow, pain, and




HOSPITALITY.         205
suffering of others, our children will be
more sympathetic, more efficient in all
the emergencies of life.  Some of the
warmest friendships this world has ever
known had their origin in a word spoken
to a stranger.
Children are attracted to each other
without stopping to adjust the social balance. On several occasions going and
coming from school, Margaret had been
helped out of serious difficulty by Jephthah Hull, a roving, capricious lad, whose
reputation was in no wise enviable in
the community. Margaret's sympathy
was aroused. Jephthah, or Jeph as he
was called, had not a wicked look. His
figure was tall, straight, and muscular;
his eyes of a changeable gray hue-at
times tender, pleading, almost reproachful; then bright, resolute, fearless; his
hair was thick and curling, and the
proud curve of his lips denoted a char



206           WOMAN.
acter that needed careful development.
With no home, Jeph lived by doing odd
jobs at anything he could find, and from
being rash and impetuous he woU for
himself the reputation of being the instigator, if not the actual agent, of all
the mischief practised in the neighborhood.
One night as I was listening to Maude,
I heard Margaret talking with her father
about Jeph and his manner of life. "Wild
and boisterous as the boy is," she said,
"his voice is mild and his manners respectful."
"But he is the terror of the community," said her father.
"Only think, papa; Jeph never had a
home; he does not even remember that
he had a mother. In his babyhood he
was thrust out to live as he could; flung
round from one place to another, he has
never had any teaching. He has never




HOSPITALITY.         207
been to school, and still he can read and
write correctly."
The child's heart was effectually roused
I saw it, and I knew that her father
would not refuse her.
"And if I take him as you wish, what
then?"
"I will teach him, papa, until he has
learned the little that I know, and by
that time something else will open for
him."
"We will try," answered her father.
And thus Jeph came to our house. His
duties were light, to sweep the office,
light the fires, and keep the grounds in
order. Small duties, but requiring faithfulness. At first he would forget, play
truant, and was not disposed to bear the
least rebuke.  Margaret was quick to
understand the boy, and she never tired
of his caprices; she taught him from
books, and mingled with her instruc



208           WOMAN.
tion words that touched upon his daily
habits.  Ere long the boy's confidence
was won; his better nature was awakened; he saw great possibilities even
for him; life wore a new aspect; his
mind opened to kindly influences, he began to show uncommon brilliancy. As
Margaret had said, when she had taught
him the little that she knew, a way
opened for him to go forward.  This
same friendless boy is now a worldrenowned author, an earnest, active,
Christian man.
This is not an isolated case; there are
many, like Margaret, ready to take the
little outcasts by the hand. But not all
are thus ready. As we look upon the
myriad waifs floating around us, we shall
not soil our hands if we, having empty
rooms, give warmth and shelter to little
ones for whom Christ died; little ones
to be taught to live and work for Him.




HOSPITALITY.         209
Poor and destitute, Jesus takes them in
his arms. So let us teach our children
to love them with a tender, abiding love;
not to be led by them into evil, but to
be ourselves their leaders-up to the
good Physician. Blessed privilege! to
comfort as we ourselves are comfortedgiving according to the measure that we
have received, blest in ourselves and in
our children by so doing.
Genial hospitality betrays itself in the
easy grace of a casual meeting-the tones
of the voice showing interest, the eye
filled with a tender light, the manner
showing a certain heartiness that exalts
the receiver into an equal. Doubtless
all know homes of this description, where
there is an easy welcoming of guests,
the parents being assisted by their children; and the aim of all is to interest
their guest without the appearance of
effort. A rare blessing to the young it
Womun.         14




210           WOMAN.
is, to be privileged with the acquainttance of such a Christian family; for
none but a Christian family could thus
carry out the spirit of the gospel, gladly
taking the wanderer by the hand, and
saying, "Come thou with us, for we will
do thee good."
What a resting-place for the aged is
a household in which these tender home
influences come to them as portraits of
the home-gathering above, its rest, content, and enjoyment. Such precious reunions strengthen the bond of Christian
brotherhood; their golden glow warms
the heart of the impenitent, causing them
to exclaim, Behold, how beautiful the
fellowship of Christian hearts!  The
memory of little kindnesses clings to
them, and at length brings them to
Jesus.  As Christian mothers, is not
this the work given us to do?  Should
we not be ready at all times to minister




HOSPITALITY.         211
unto any we can benefit, imparting as
freely as we receive? our highest enjoyment to be found in serving Christ, our
highest praise, "She hath done what
she could."




Dress.
~.~!ROM the beginning the costume of nations has been in keeping with their attainments in civilization, architecture, and the
fine arts. In the nomadic life, wandering tribes, dwelling in tents, were satisfied with coats of skins, sandals, and
loose mantles, leaving the body free to
act with its all its strength and suppleness. The dress of that early day did
not require numberless changes to denote the wealth of the possessor; flocks
and herds were the chief criterion, and
if many' changes of raiment' were de



DRESS.            213
manded, they were in good part intended for presents, or as tokens of favor
offered to guests.
As walled towns began to appear,
more protection was sought in dress.
Armor was brought into use, and a
greater variety of garments; still, the
make was exceedingly simple, and the
limbs were unimpeded and free in their
movements. Down through the centuries
we find beauty habited in loose, flowing
garments, falling lightly about the figure,
with a profusion of ornaments-gold, silver, ivory, and precious stones. Anklets
with small silver bells made music as the
maidens danced, and their round arms
bare to the shoulder, were bound with
bracelets, in keeping with their wealth.
Jewels were extensively worn by the
nations in the apostles' time. Hence the
injunction, " Whose adorning, let it not
be that outward adorning of plaiting the




214           WOMAN.
hair and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is
not corruptible, even the ornament of a
meek and quiet spirit..... For after
this manner in the old time the holy
women adorned themselves."    " Not
with broidered hair, or gold, or pearls,
or costly array; but, which becometh
women professing godliness, with good
works."
The apostle has reference here to the
customs of the heathen women. While
from his general teaching we cannot accuse him of wishing to do away with a
becoming style of dress, we see plainly
that he desired to make dress secondary: "a meek and quiet spirit," with'good works" being more desirable than
costly array and precious stones. Paul
and Peter would have women professing godliness make it known by outward




DRESS.            215
expression, as well as by " chaste conversation, coupled with fear."'
It is sufficient for our purpose to note
the dividing line between the Christian
woman and.the woman of the world.
Passing down the successive ages from
the apostle's time to our own, is the
echo of the same voice, "not with broidered hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly
array; but, which becometh women professing godliness, with good works." In
the history of the Christian church there
was never a time perhaps when there
was greater necessity for each individual member to walk humbly and circumspectly before God. The fires of strange
philosophies and false creeds are seen
on every hill; infidelity thrusts its slimy
head and sinuous glittering folds into
our colleges and institutions of learning;
and the popular mind, floating out on
the sea of speculation, dares, with impi



216           WOMAN.
ous hand, thrust back the gates, and with
curious, prying eyes, seeks to gain knowledge of the invisible and unrevealed.
Living in an age eminently progressive, the elements brought, into subjection, the caverns of the great deep but
whispering galleries, thought flashing in
a moment round the world, the secrets
of the earth laid open to the eye of man,
is there not danger that in our pride we
may drift away from the old landmarks,
and from the safe anchorage, and be
tossed about by vain imaginings and
shallow ideas of new and strange systeis yet to come to light and die. With
the spirit of speculation abroad in the
land, is there not danger, lest in seeking
"the unknown good," we neglect the
plain command, discarded because so
plain, so easily understood?
Looking into the mirror of God's word
we find that the way is straight and




DRESS.            217
narrow, and that the commands given
to mankind were given for all time.
Consequently, a broad and unbridled
license in thought and in deed is not
becoming in those who profess to be
guided by the word of God.
In every age dress has not only had
much to do in the petty distinctions of
caste, and in marking the different grades
of society, but it has been considered
one of the signs of the times, an exponent or mirror, reflecting the onward
movement of the age. For those who
profess godliness, moderation is enjoined.
They must be'temperate in all things,"
in eating, and drinking, and dress; with
nothing absurd or ascetic, but studying
simplicity, neatness, and order-a costume that befits a temple on which purity and beauty are plainly inscribed. The
apostle himself was not beyond thinking
of these things. In his letter to Timo



218           WOMAN.
thy, asking for the cloak that he left at
Troas, we see that he must have been
moved by the same wants and needs
that have such influence over us. Such
knowledge of the apostle's life and manner brings him nearer to us; our sympathies are with him, and we are not so
much inclined to.consider him as severe
in his restrictions. Paul did not despise
the things of this life; neither does he
desire that we should. He only asks'
that we "use them  as not abusing;"
making them secondary and subservient,
and thinking more of comfort and convenience than of display.
There is a peculiar charm in adaptation.  If we live conscientiously, not
lightly esteeming the things of this life,
but still thinking more of another, into
which we are liable to enter at any moment, surely we shall not be inclined to
spend our strength on this that perishes




DRESS.             219
with the using, absorbing time that is of
inestimable value. If eternity is in reality the chief concern, we shall not wish
to encumber ourselves or our children
with needless care and anxiety.  The
traveller chooses his dress according to
the season; it is adapted to his necessities, it is soiled and travel-stained perhaps. What difference? He will put on
fresh apparel when he reaches his journey's end. He does not think of the
way, in the anticipation of what is before him.  Life is a journey; let our
travelling dress be appropriate, plain,
simple, unostentatious, but let our best
robe be the white robe of our heavenly
home.
In the natural world, where there are
hidden and special gifts, outward show
is often lacking. Singing birds wear the
plainest plumage, and the sweetest flowers are the small, unpretending ones.




220           WOMAN.
If fitness is needful in the selection of
garments, fitness is likewise requisite in
the wearing.  A style of dress pretty
and becoming at home, may not be suitable for church. A pretty and becoming dress for a breakfast or a dinner
party, is not always the one in which
we should enter the street cars, or make
a long journey. Neither are we to habit
ourselves in evening costume when we
visit the sick, or call on the poor and
the necessitous. As Christians, we should
show a due regard to fitness in this respect, selecting for ourselves and for our
children according to time and place,
with a wise adaptation in all that we do.
Returning from school on one occasion, Maude came rushing into my room,
the blue eyes earnest and pleading, the
face bright and arch, as the child danced
up before me with a card of invitation
in her hand. "Mamma, Lucy Fan wants




DRESS.            221
me to come to her party, Thursday. Can
I go, please?"
Mr. and Mrs. Fan were members of a
sister church. I knew them slightly,
and knew that the children were pleasant and agreeable in manner. I saw
nothing against it, and willing to give
the child pleasure, gave my assent. It
was our habit to dress prettily and neatly at home, and when we went out we
aimed at nothing more. On this occasion, I made for Maude a simple dress
of white swiss, with a blue sash for the
waist. It was a trifle prettier than usual,
and when the day came and Maude was
dressed, her soft brown hair falling in
ringlets over her plump shoulders, her
eyes sparkling and her cheeks rosy with
health, I must confess to a little pride
and an extra kiss.  Papa kissed the
child: "I hope my little girl will enjoy
herself very much." Then turning, he




222           WOMAN.
once more kissed the ruddy cheek, and
said, "May the heart of my little girl
be as pure as her dress."
Jem was proud of his sister. I saw
it as he walked down the street, and I
fear my own heart was full of pride.
Maude looked so sweet and good, and I
was sure that all would appreciate the
innocent beauty of my child.
At night her father brought her home;
and as I caught a glimpse of the white
face, I saw that Maude was sadly tried.
"What is it, pet?" said I, as I folded
her in my arms.
"0 mamma!" and the tears were
streaming down her cheeks. I saw the
child was grieved, and did not urge her.
It was a long time before she could tell
me, and then only in broken snatches,
that it was the simplicity of her dress,
Lucy's friends taking exception to one
so plainly dressed.




DRESS.            223
"Why, what was your mother thinking of? Did she know it was to be a
dress party?" cried one.
"I never wear' anything but white,"
stammered Maude.
"A regular little nun. But why did
you not have ruffles, or flounces of Valenciennes?"
" Mamma thinks plain dresses are the
prettiest."
"Why, where has she lived? Nobody thinks of wearing a plain dress; it
makes you look like a little Methodist."
"I was afraid it would be so," and
Margaret crept up to Maude and tried
to comfort her.
"What led you to think so?" I asked.
"At Miss Bernard's, where Lucy goes
to school, there is a great display of
dress. Sarah Erskine says the girls are
in party costume all the time."
There is a fascination in gay dress,




224           WOMAN.
an invisible influence, wrapping one in
folds too strong to be broken by weak
hands. Fortune is a fickle goddess; her
favors are seldom dispensed to the same
family for two centuries; and if it were
otherwise, and if one can afford to dress
richly, is the school-room a place to exhibit finery? Here the daughters of the
poor and the rich meet for the purpose
of mental improvement, preparing for
the duties and responsibilities of social
life; study is the duty of each, and promotion should depend upon merit alone.
A great blemish it must be for pupils in
the same class, sitting on the same seats,
occupying the same rooms, to show a
marked disparity in dress and appearance. Pride is inherent, and the love
of dress natural to woman.  Much of
the sin in after years, the murmuring
and repining, has had its origin in the
undue display of dress in the school



DRESS.            225
room. The daughter of the rich man
priding herself on the magnificence of
her wardrobe; the daughter of the poor
man, a heavy tax to her parents, and
then dissatisfied, forgetful of her opportunities, thinking only of display, and at
length resorting to unhallowed means to
gratify her passion for dress.
The time to instil right principles is
in childhood. Knowing the heart of our
daughters, cannot we teach them that
the mind is more than the body, the
heart more than the mind? Cannot we
teach them that youth is never so attractive as when dressed simply?  Cannot
we make it plain to them that beauty is
enhanced by it, just as the diamond
shows to the greatest advantage when
set simply? Cannot we teach them the
beauty of adaptation, enjoining upon
them the necessity of a proper influence,
that a modest dress is becoming in pubwoman.         15




226           WOMAN.
lie assemblies, and that greater care is
needful in color, make, and finish, for
wear in a promiscuous throng. Cannot
we show them that display is to be
avoided in church? that simplicity, good
taste, and neatness are indispensable for
God's house? As worshippers, we go
up to his courts; as suppliants, we lay
our offering upon the altar, conscious
that the eye of the Most High looketh
at the heart, and not on the outward
adorning.
In church, as in school, the rich and
the poor meet together. Have we the
right to dress so that a weak brother or
sister shall be offended? The eye is
pained and the heart is distressed by
little things.
An indiscriminate display of Jewelry
is quite offensive to good taste. True,
there are those who think it incumbent
upon them to wear all that they have




DRESS.            227
upon every occasion. Atrbreakfast, we
see them with fingers loaded with rings,
pendants in their ears, ornamental combs,
with hair perhaps in curl papers.  A
pretty chintz wrapper, with hair neatly
arranged, and without jewels, would form
a charming contrast to such an appearance.
Inappropriateness of dress belongs
mnore especially to us as a people than
to any other nation. The English woman, in travelling, provides herself with
coarse, strong garments, and discards
jewelry. The advantages of fine dress
are reserved for the drawing-room. The
good Victoria goes to Scotland to enjoy
herself. Her costume is plain and simple, and in the small church at Balmoral
there is nothing of display to attract the
eye, or to distract the heart of the humblest worshipper.
A little sober thought upon this ques



228           WOMAN.
tion will be enough to convince the most
inconsistent.  A more careful style of
dress at home, with less expense and
less display abroad, would tend more to
the happiness of families, than volumes
of theories, discussion, and even legislation. Love has need to be very strong
indeed, that can stand tamely and contrast the negligent appearance of the
morning dress with the elaborate style
and elegant decorations put on to please
the eyes of strangers. A fresh, charming costume goes far towards making a
happy home. As well might we expect
a bird to sing, with her plumage covered
with mud, as a woman to be cheerful and
amiable in a soiled, neglected costume.
Another peculiarity, and one which
we would in no wise overlook, is the
disparity of dress between mother and
daughter: the jewels and beautiful garments worn by the latter, the self-denial




DRESS.            229
and economy practised by the former.
The reverse would seem more in keeping; the ravages of time render necessary some advantage of dress; the comeliness of youth is sufficient without the
aid of rich materials and costly ornaments.
A few weeks since, I attended commencement exercises at a girls' school.
The class of graduates was large; they
were fine, healthy-looking girls, all habited in white of different materials and
fashions.  One of them wore a white
moire, with an exceedingly short skirt,
"so that she might look more youthful."
Her mother was sitting near her in a
plain dress, without ornament of any
kind. I could not but think how still
more youthful and lovely the daughter
would have looked in a simple white
swiss, falling gracefully about her, leaving the rich, stiff moire for her mother.




230           WOMAN.
In cultivating the minds of our daughters we are surely not to leave to the
last a subject on which so much depends.
If we instil into their minds while children
the proper regard for dress, we may hope
that in youth they will not be inclined
to run into excesses, but will study what
is becoming, and wear it in no spirit of
ostentation, but to render home more
attractive. God has dressed the flowers
in beauty, and he has no desire that we
should be unmindful of ourselves.
" Know ye not that ye are the temple
of God?" A temple is built expressly
with an end in view-the indwelling of
God; the architecture is appropriate,
the beams are laid in strength, and the
altar and the hangings in keeping with
the idea of worship. Thus with the temple of the Holy Spirit, set apart and
kept with the same end in view; the
heart an altar on which sacrifice is laid,




DRESS.            231
the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit
woven in the hangings of the sanctuary;
the whole adapted to inspire good and
pure thoughts, and lead the careless and
indifferent to see and acknowledge the
blessedness of those who love and honor
God.
*A~d~




XIV.
Amusements.
U, ~  JS our daughters grew older,
~2~ there were decisions to make,
entertainments to enjoy, and
t  assemblies to shun; rendering
it necessary for us to ask still
oftener for direction and guidance, lest
we should fail to do according to His
will. Jem likewise had his associates;
and as Gertrude was still warmly attached to Margaret, it is possible that
we had more visitors by reason of juxtaposition to the large house over the
way. It was the last year with Margaret at school, and try as I would, I




AMUSEMENTS.          233
could not keep the shadow from my
heart. I knew these small gatherings
were but a foretaste of what there was
in store. Society had claims and would
be sure to assert them. My child was
slipping from me. Not that her love
was less, or her confidences diminished;
but the sweet placid beauty of her face
was attractive, her manner cordial, and
her words so gentle that the poorest and
most timid of her acquaintances were not
repelled.
As I before said, music was cultivated
by us, not as an accomplishment, but as
a necessity. It entered into our being,
was a part of our life; our daily worship
was not complete without it. From her
infancy Margaret had shown a rare talent for it, her voice was flexible and
sweet, and she had a peculiar power of
expression. It was the effect of culture,
bringing out the native capacity, and so




234          WOMAN.
perfectly that there was seemingly nothing of art about it: the song being only
the avenue to convey the sentiment, the
thought floating out on the wings of melody filling the ear with delight.
She might have played as well perhaps, but loving books, she did not think
best to take the time, neither did we
encourage her learning more of music
than was needful to make home happy,
and enable her to sing in the sanctuary
and in the prayer-meeting, leaving brilliant execution and a finished touch to
amateurs and professors.
Many families consider music in the
same category as dancing, or believe
that the cultivation of one, leads to the
cultivation and love of the other. Never
was a greater mistake. True, dancing is
usually accompanied by music, the steps
in keeping with the musical measure,
but it is a music that invites to physi



AMUSEMENTS,          235
cal action without touching the loftier
emotions of the soul.  As a physical
exercise dancing may have its advantages, but is it in itself calculated to
advance the intellectual or the spiritual
well-being of our children?  Will our
sons be better fitted to take their places
in the arena of life? Will their integrity
be the brighter for their being adepts in
the ball-room?. Will our daughters be
more attractive in the home circle? Will
their qualities of heart and mind mature
more thoroughly in such an atmosphere?
Will the friends they make, the acquaintances they form in the quadrille and the
waltz prove desirable as lifelong companions?  If not, can we trust them
there?
" But a public dance is altogether different from a quiet cotillon in the parlor." True, there is not the crowd. But
what is the difference between taking a




236           WOMAN.
glass of brandy at one's sideboard, or
taking it in the saloon? the brandy is
the same, the poison acts in the same
manner; it does not change the nature
of the beverage, or lessen the evil, that
it is private.
Dancing is in itself fascinating, the
meeting of the sexes in the dance thrills
the frame with the same impulse in the
parlor as in the public assembly. If one
is wrong, surely the other cannot be
defended, for both are the same, save in
extent. Poison taken into the system in
a large dose, produces instant death; a
small quantity works more slowly, but
leads to the same result. That there are
Christian parents who view this differently I am aware; parents who dress
their daughters for the social dance,
while they themselves go to the prayermeeting. I have known such, we have
all known them perhaps. But I do not




AMUSEMENTS.          237
know parents of this kind whose hearts
are cheered by seeing their children
brought to Christ; the arrangement is
not one that favors early piety. We
should not expect to see a Timothy, a
Samuel, a Daniel, or a Mary in such a
house. "As for me and my house, we
will serve the Lord," would seem the
natural motto of parents who profess to
put their confidence in God. If we love
an object it is our first thought how we
may please the object of our love. The
impenitent do not love God; hence they
do not desire to please him; the thought
of God is not in their hearts. The believer professes to love him, but love is
shown by obedience. If we love him,
we shall keep his commandments. Is
there a line in the Bible that goes to
prove that the giddy whirl of the waltz
is not at all objectionable if indulged in
quietly, and still is averse to purity and




238           WOMAN.
good morals if indulged in for a longer
period, or in a public assembly?
"And whatsoever ye do in word or
deed, do all in the name of the Lord
Jesus."  "Abstain from all appearance
of evil."  If these requirements have
any weight, can the inmates of a godly
household give themselves to an amusement upon which, from its very nature,
they could not ask the blessing of God?
But I hear it said, "There is no standard with reference to this; we are each
at liberty to follow the dictates of our
own conscience; and as for our children,
if they think it is wrong when they are
older, it will be for them  to abstain
from it." But our children were given
us to bring up for God. If their lives
prove a failure, will he not require a
reason? If our children are finally lost,
shall we not be in a measure responsible? Children were not given to lead the




AMUSEMENTS.          239
parents; but to be led, guided, taught
by the parents. A fearful charge. Can
we afford to run the risk of letting them
dance and waltz into eternity? Can we
stand idly by, saying to each other,
"When they are older, they will do
different, youth is the time for enjoyment, we will not mar their pleasure,
neither will we thwart their inclinations?"'  Have we any surety of their
lives? Because we have them to-day,
have we any pledge that they will be
ours to-morrow?  They are slipping
away from us; now is the time to lay
foundations, to instil right principles;
the opportunity once lost can never be
regained. If we wish to see our sons
walking in the path of truth: if we desire to see our daughters as "cornerstones polished after the similitude of a
palace," we must watch over them closely; seeking their happiness in all health



240           WOMAN.
ful ways, and abstaining conscientiously
from those diversions, which, however
harmless they may seem, add nothing to
intellectual culture and true spiritual
growth, and are ruled simply by the
god of this world.
Next to dancing, private theatricals
are defended by many parents.  But
why private? If the stage is to be commended, why not go publicly? "The
theatre is not just the place for children,"
says one; "there are so many other
things included, that it is now almost
impossible to see a good play." And
why is this? Simply that the class who
frequent the theatre desire something
more than the representation of the play.
The managers of the theatre say freely
that they could not keep it up if not for
the objectionable features of the drama.
The very best plays of Shakespeare, set
off with the best acting, and heightened




AMUSEMENTS.          241
by exquisite scenery, to use the ordinary
phraseology, do not "pay." No wonder
that the theatre is not just the place for
children. The only wonder is that any
parent should think of it for a moment
in connection with his children.
True, private theatricals might be free
from some of these objections. But to
what profit? An intelligent reading of
Shakespeare would give one as good an
idea of character. I recollect listening
to one of our best tragedians as he
read Macbeth; quite as instructive, he
allowed, as it would have been on the
boards: a little imagination could easily
construct a scaffolding, with scenery and
all the et ceteras of stage exhibition;
and with this exception, the rendering
was the same.
The minds of the young are like some
deftly strung instrument, the softest
touch makes an impression, and the song
Woman.         16




242           WOMAN.
evoked adds to the beauty or to the
deformity of the finished work. A merely sensuous delight, a picture, or a wave
of melody may please the eye or charm
the ear with its sweetness, and still fail
to touch the heart. If the mind is more
than the body, and the heart more than
the mind, then time that is spent for
other than the highest good must be time
misspent.  Life is not to be frittered
away without profit.  Eternity is too
near and too enduring to be unthought
of and unprovided for.
As in childhood we are careful to
provide for the health and well-being of
our children, permitting them to enjoy
all healthy exercise, and plays well fitted to give tone to their muscles and
strength to their constitution, so in youth
we should make an effort to secure such
amusements as will cause the full development of their mental faculties and




AMIUSEMENTS.         243
conduce to their greatest vigor through
life.
To converse well requires study and
practice. Home can hardly be called
happy without the intelligent exercise
of the organs of speech; commonplace
platitudes pall on the ear, and with
nothing to interest them at home, the
inmates of our dwellings will seek places
that promise them more in this respect.
To read well is an accomplishment of
immense value in the home circle. What
can be a more beautiful picture than the
evening gatherings in a well-appointed
home: the old and the young, with sewing, books, and music, seasoned with the
wisdom of age, the gay sparkle of youth,
and the prattle of little children. The
atmosphere of such a home is favorable
to the purity of body and soul. Happiness is a plant of daily growth, and culture is built up of opportunities. Out



244           WOMAN.
ward circumstances have little to do
with inward content; the life we lead is
the effect of the atmosphere we breathe
in our homes.
Musical soirees have an effect highly
desirable. Some of the finest minds the
world has ever known have been in the
habit of meeting one evening in every
week for the purpose of mental improvement and enjoyment, giving full scope
to their powers of speech, with criticisms
and discussions on scientific subjects and
the questions of the day-repartee and
brilliant bon-mots stimulating and engaging and strengthening the faculties.
Lectures and debates, chemical experiments and scientific disquisitions give a
pleasing variety and intelligent entertainment to the mind.
Looking at life as a sphere of duty,
we cannot consider a mere idle diversion
which has no higher aim than to kill




AMUSEMENTS.          245
time, as entering into the life-plan. Yet
effort of every kind needs intervals of
relaxation-some agreeable change relaxing thought, and giving the jaded
powers of mind and body time to regain
elasticity and vigor. The young especially need this. But what mother will
be satisfied to give her children husks,
when it is in her power to provide them
wholesome food? Thus with amusement.
What mother will be willing to let her
daughter spend the time unwisely, when
it is in her power to provide more suitable entertainment?
There is too' prevalent in our day a
certain clanship, a division and subdivision of society, people associating
together exclusively according to age
and social fellowship; but there cannot
be a greater mistake as far as improvement is concerned, and there must be a
serious loss of the enjoyment arising from




246           WOMAN.
the pleasing interchange of thought and
feeling. Beauty and homeliness, youth
and age, the learned and the ignorant,
make up God's world. Variety is needful. We do not see the gardener filling
all his beds with the same flowers; beautiful as they may be, the monotony would
cease to give pleasure; delicious as their
perfume might be, we should sigh for
some variety of fragrance. In our social
gatherings why should we confine ourselves to the range of a certain moneyed
rank, or of a certain intellectual calibre?
Social meetings are for relaxation, for entertainment; study is laitl aside, thought
unbends itself, the man of science looks
for diversion; the lady of brilliant conversational powers finds a listener in
some silent but appreciative friend. It
is not wise to be too exclusive, neither
is it wise to bring up our children to
feel that there is no enjoyment outside




AMUSEMENTS.          247
a prescribed circle of age or of position.
A long list of acquaintances adds to our
personal happiness, helps to deepen the
channel of our ideas, and to enlarge the
scope of our benevolent feelings. Broad
views of men and things can only be
gained in this way; prejudice, bigotry,
and all uncharitableness are thus thrust
out, and a genial well-bred manner acquired.
Teaching our children to be kind and
considerate, we are also to tone down
their eager expectancy. Every acquaintance is not likely to turn into a friend.
To be attracted by people, to meet them
at stated intervals, to be cordial and
friendly in no wise requires undue confidence towards all. A pleasing exterior, good manners and correct deportment constitute an agreeable acquaintance. But a friend is one to whom we
are drawn by a certain congeniality of




248           WOMAN.
soul, with a thrilling pleasure when we
meet, a sympathetic, harmonious blending of two natures, and the deep satisfaction of feeling that each is understood,
appreciated, valued for choice gifts and
close intimacies unknown to the world.
Acquaintances are counted by scores;
friends are few as angel visitors. It is
a rare life that finds more that one, genuine and lasting; many go on to the
grave with less.
We do not aim by this to teach our
children that it is impossible for an
acquaintance to become a valued friend;
but only to save them from impatience
and repining because the new acquaintance does not prove to be all that they
thought to find. Until experience has
taught a lesson, there is something intolerable to youth in realizing the slight
tenure which they have on all they see;
the little claim they have or are really




AMUSEMENTS.          249
likely to have on society around them.
To teach them to be contented with the
refreshment and solace they can gain
from good society, is to do them a lasting service, and the lesson can be taught
by no one so well as by the mother.
She also can teach them that there are
real and substantial qualities which render an acquaintance charming, that would
be insufficient in a friend; brilliancy of
thought, fluency of speech, vivacity and
an easy grace of manner fascinate us in
society; but these may be united with
some alloy that would be fatal to the
closer bond of friendship. A knowledge
of this will aid both our sons and our
daughters in the choice they make of
friends; and thus mistakes will be prevented that, if once made, can never be
rectified. A pleasant acquaintance can
be found in a day, in an hour perhaps;
but a friend is chosen, not for external




250           WOMAN.
qualities, but for innate principles of
heart and mind, the beauty of which will
increase, the more intimate the union.
Another lesson that will be of essential service to our children is to give
them to see plainly, that society requires
great powers of reticence and self-control in those who mix in it. It is so
natural for the inexperienced to commit
themselves by over energy of expression, by over-earnest tones, in a word,
by exposing their hidden life at inappropriate times and places; and on becoming conscious of it they are mortified,
and their self-respect receives a wound.
Every person accustomed to society understands that he must not obtrude his
honest convictions too forcibly.  The
light, passing superficial treatment of a
subject does not imply that people have
not convictions which elsewhere, in the
privacy of home, or when duty requires,




AMUSEMENTS.          251
they can express with warmth and force;
but experience has taught them that the
unrestrained liberty of speech of one,
would be to the hinderance of others.
Thus we have touched upon several
social questions, as having an intimate
relation with amusements or relaxation
in the ordinary acceptation of the word.
For social beings, amusement would
cease to be amusement if taken in solitude; while in most cases the choice of
amusement depends not a little upon the
choice of friends. "Show me a man's
friends, and I can tell you what kind of
a man he is, and the places that he loves
to frequent."
It becomes us to choose wisely for our
children with reference to their amusements, as well as to their friends. It is
not the great events of life, but rather
the little daily acts that show character:
the hours of recreation mat be like the




252           WOMAN.
light breeze that fills our sails and sends
us onward with a smooth gliding motion;
or they may become like the hot breath
from the desert withering and destroying all the verdure that lies in its pathway.
V   R




xv.
Domestic Relations.
T is frequently said, and I
J  once felt, that the happiest period
7 in a mother's life was with her
little ones in her arms; the patter of their tiny feet making
music all day long, their gleeful voices
merry as robins in spring-time, and
their eyes like unfathomed wells in
which great and wonderful truths are to
be mirrored.  But now, as I sit with
such a sweet restful feeling, listening to
Margaret singing at her work, I am inclined to think the happiness the mother
feels in nursing her babes is less than
the sweet joy that floods her heart when




254           WOMAN.
those dear babes are spared to reach
their youth. The fresh-blown flower is
sweeter than the bud; the bird that sings
a strong clear note is more prized than
when a helpless thing it chirped and
fluttered, waiting for its wings.  My
birds are fledged; and I'm half afraid
they'11 leave me all too soon.
Through school, but not through study,
Margaret still has her lessons, and Maude
has her studious hours, but we are together just as in the old days.  Our
home is still the same.  The sunshine
slants across the roof of the large house
over the way and upon ours just as it
used to do. Papa is now in riper years,
but Margaret and Maude go to meet him
as they used to; Jem is in college, Gertrude comes through the wicker gate,
and with the sunshine on her rippling
curls, we cross the meadow, hunting
cowslips and ladyslippers. Sometimes in




DOMESTIC RELATIONS.      255
sportive mood Maude hides her head
and laughs a little gleeful laugh to cheat
me with the thought of years ago; and
Margaret fills her hand with flowers,
with a look of love and reverence up to
Him who of his boundless mercy made
this world so beautiful.
Companions more than children, sharers of thought, co-laborers,'tis sweet
to hear them talk of views and feelings
such as we knew of old. They have a
kind of second youth more lovely than
the first; the current of their being.is
stirred with every shadow on the grass,
the rippling river and the bird-notes
calling up sweet echoes in their hearts.
There are lessons not found in books,
read by those who know the alphabet of
God's love; music, not written by the
pen of man, and pictures more grand
and beautiful than ever painter drew.
The wonders of God's world are dimly




256           WOMAN.
understood at best, and those that love
him not are blinder than the moles, not
to see and recognize his hand.  The
natural heart looks through distorted
eyes, and only flaunting scenes and gaudy
colors please. God is revealed by little
things; hence children draw the nearest,
spelling out his words of love, saying
them over and again for fear they will
forget. What a pity that we are not
always children, loving and trusting;
ready to sleep and eat and enjoy without that anxious forethought that tries
to shoulder all in spite of what He says,
" Come, follow me; come close; lean
hard." The child, half unconscious, goes
to Him; while we, knowing our guilt,
hang back.
Gertrude has found some pebbles on
the shore, and to her eyes they have a
strange significance. Years ago, a barefooted, blue-eyed child, she played and




DOMESTIC RELATIONS.     257
gathered pebbles on these very sands,
while her grandmother, with white hair
and faltering steps was near her, saying,
"God has been good, is always good;"
and then added, as she slipped her arm
in mine, "could I only know that the
departed shall look down from his presence and see his promises all fulfilled."
I remember the last sad day of her life,
and how, when I cried as though my
heart would break, my mother bade me
bring the Book, and with her trembling
fingers turned the leaves and pointed
me to these words:
"Lord, thou hast been our dwellingplace in all generations.  Before the
mountains were brought forth, or ever
thou hadst formed the earth and the
world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God. The days of our
years are threescore years and ten; and
if by reason of strength they be fourscore
17




258           WOMAN.
years, yet is their strength labor and
sorrow: for it is soon cut off, and we fly
away. Make us glad according to the
days wherein thou-hast afflicted us, and
the years wherein we have seen evil.
And let the beauty of the Lord our God
be upon us: and establish thou the work
of our hands upon us; yea, the work of
our hands establish thou it."
"God has been good to me," I said, as
the golden head of my child rested on
my shoulder; "God has been good to
me!" and the birds trilled it from bough
to bough, and the flowers rang out a silvery chime.  It was the vesper hour,
and nature, glad and happy, swelled out
the glorious anthem, "Praise ye the
Lord!"
The sun sinks slowly, while waves of
opal light stream over the meadow, and
fall with a benediction on the distant
hills. The flowers begin to fold their




DOMESTIC RELATIONS.      259
leaves, and the birds are flying homeward. Gertrude's arm is twined around
Margaret, and the blue eyes are filled
with a wealth of love. Maude is leaning on my arm, not now clinging to my
fingers, as in that olden time. It does
not seem so very long ago; and the eyes
that look into mine are little changed.
Humble as our path is, it has been full
of mercy.
"Papa is coming!" and away springs
Maude. There's a merry chase down
the path and over the stile. Papa's step
is almost as fleet as when he raced with
Jem. We miss the boy. I cannot make
his loss real.  It seems but yesterday
that his head was pillowed on my arm,
his rosy face nestling in my bosom. What
a privilege it is to lead these babes up
through the years to maturity, a work of
which we can be justly proud; and very
humble too, for searcely could we do it,




260           WOMAN.
but for the fellowship of Mary's Son, a
babe like ours, once nourished and petted
in the same way.'T is sweet to be the
mother of a son whom we can teach to
follow in His steps.
Silvery waves of light have chased the
gold away, and our home temple, overrun with vines, is curtained in with purple.  It is new for papa to place me in
the chair. At first I declined it: "Rest
is not for me." "But the girls," he said,' will never learn to keep house unless
they once begin. There never can be a
better time than when they come home
from school, and with their mother's eyes
keen to detect mistakes; her patience
and sweet encouragement; her experience a well of wisdom, from which they
are to draw' needful supplies."
" Come, mother, tea is ready!" and I
find myself a guest. Margaret is in the
chair behind the urn. It is pleasant,




DOMESTIC RELATIONS.       261
and still I am half afraid I shall grow to
love this leisure, and thus miss something
left for me to do. Papa seems not afraid;
and the plate of biscuit, white and light
as foam, wins praise from all. Maude
begs me to see if her quinces are as nice
as mine last year. "Better, if I remember aright," I said; and her blue eyes
dance with joy. "I was afraid I might
have made some mistake."
"Experiments may sometimes fail,
and yet give no ground for discouragement," says papa, and goes on to show
that mistakes may sometimes profit more
than uniform success. We grow careless and forget when all is fair; but
when we fail once and again, then comes
the effort. More and more we strive and
learn, and at last stand where we aimed
to stand, but where we never should have
stood had failure not been written on
our first efforts.




262           WOMAN.
High on the list of woman's choicest
gifts is to be the keeper of a well-ordered
house. How much we lose by undervaluing it —some from necessity, and
others still through choice, neglecting
the little things that go to make a home,
and are only done through love. Which
of us but remembers the mother's loaf
and fragrant cup of tea, the table with a
cloth of spotless white, the china cups
and plates with rim of gold, the carpet
covered with a cloth to catch the children's crumbs, the windows shaded just
enough to give a pleasant light. The
richest feasts are only found where love
abides.
I remember such a home; and with
her head upon my knees Maude listens
as I tell her of the bread kneaded long
and well, the oven brought to a white
heat, and the clock at hand to mark the
time.




DOMESTIC RELATIONS.      263
"Your bread was good, of course,"
was naively said.
" Heavy as lead!" I replied; and my
heart goes back to that first loaf. " Gladly would I have then given the little
fund of learning I possessed for so much
knowledge as was needed to make
bread."
"Did you try again?"
" Once more, and failed."
" And then?"
"I thought of a poor woman living in
a rich man's house, and going to her,
asked for what I should have learned
before.
"'There's nothing easier,' she kindly
said.'I'11 show. you once, and after
that it will come easy.  People that
want to do, can do; and those that do n't,
can't.'
"It was only another way of saying
that woman's work is best done through




264           WOMAN.
love-a cheerful, happy service, just as
the sun shines. A small thing it may
seem to have a pleasant room, and a tidy
well-kept house; but it is not small in
its effects: home pictures stamped upon
the heart cling there through life. If we
would be to our daughters all that mothers should be, we must teach them how
to order households. It is not enough
for them to sit by and look on; they must
bear the burden, studying out for themselves, and improving on our plans.
There is nothing stationary in this world
of ours; and even the science of cooking
does not stand still.
Besides the dishes suited to our taste,
and the nameless comforts which help to
hold hearts that might otherwise go
astray, our daughters are to learn a
proper deportment toward dependants;
to deal with them not only justly, but
kindly. With an experimental knowl



DOMESTIC RELATIONS.      265
edge of the service required, they will
know how to arrange so that it may be
easier to perform, and more acceptably
rendered. Such knowledge comes not
by chance. As well might we sit with
folded hands in our attempt to read a
new language, or to unravel problems in
geometry. Nothing is accomplished without labor; and there never was a successful housekeeper, neither can there
be, who does not make her home duties
a study. The tastes of her husband, the
inclinations of her children, the tendencies of her domestics, must all be well
understood and cared for. If she would
have a happy home, she must make it so.
But some one is ready to say, "It is
unjust to make woman so responsible."
As well find fault with the mainspring in
a watch, the keynote in music, the intricacies of a machine that sets all the
rest in motion. The mother does not of




266           WOMAN.
necessity do all.  Each member of a
household is responsible in a degree for
the happiness and the well-being of the
family. But is not the mother the centre around which all the others cluster?
Let sickness lay its hand upon her, and
gloom settles over the dwelling; and
should death come, too late we learn our
dependence upon a mother.
In view of future probabilities, should
we not aim to educate our daughters to
understand practically the minutiae of
social and domestic life? Should we not
accustom them to bear a measure of
responsibility from their earliest childhood? Then, if changes come, and come
they will, they will be prepared to stand
in their lot. What more lovely, what
more noble than to see a daughter stepping into the vacant place, the comfort,
the support of her father; the guide, the
adviser, the patient, devoted friend to




DOMESTIC RELATIONS.      267
younger brothers and sisters? All over
our land there are such daughters. God's
choicest blessings rest upon them; his
arm is theirs to lean upon. True, they
may not know here the good they do,
but they shall reap in due time a large
reward.
Again, there are those who are not of
this stamp; those who seek their own
rather than another's good; vain, idle,
pleasure-loving, impatient of rebuke, and
not given to learn.  Have we not as
mothers something to do in this matter?
Cannot we turn the tide in our own households? Cannot we teach a more acceptable way?
A few years since I enjoyed the intimate acquaintance of two families; both
of them Christian households, both blessed with lovely daughters, both in circumstances of plenty and prosperity, both
frequenting the same church; but how




268           WOMAN.
unlike in the whole internal order and
harmony of domestic life.
The mother of one family sat as a
queen in the midst of loving subjects;
everything in her kingdom was amenable
to law, the law of kindness and love.
Order was in all her realm, and over all
she presided with an unaffected grace, a
charming self-poised manner, that won
the love and admiration of all who enjoyed her acquaintance.
The other was a woman who loved her
children not wisely.  In their infancy
she could not bear to cross them. Reading her Bible, she neglected that portion
of it which says, " Chasten thy son while
there is hope, and let not thy soul spare
for his crying."  Sitting at her ease, she
flattered herself that, when they were
older, they would turn of themselves.
Does the wild horse tame himself? Does
he yield his will without the bit? Too




DOMESTIC RELATIONS.     269
late this mother saw her mistake. The
temper, inclination, and passion she could
once have swayed, grew with years to
be strong, wayward, and unmanageable.
Anarchy, confusion, and hatred were in
her house; sorrow was in her heart.
Is it wrong to think that, with the
same careful training, the happiness of
the last-named family would have equalled that of the first? Had the influence
of the mothers been the same, the teaching alike, would not the result have
been the same? If not, why do we find
in the inspired volume so much said with
reference to bringing up a child in the
way that he should go? and why do we
see the righteous indignation of God
poured out upon those who refuse to
obey him in this respect? Eli was condemned because he restrained not his
children. "My son, keep thy father's
commandment, and forsake not the law




270           WOMAN.
of thy mother." There must be a commandment and a law in every household.
God's favor is for the obedient. If
we would see our children honorable in
the earth, we must restrain and guide
them in their infancy. If we would see
them endowed plenteously with the spirit
of divine grace, we must teach them to
love God's service. Responsible as are
the duties, arduous as are the cares that
centre around the mother, if we but undertake them with a humble dependence
on God, a cheerful, teachable spirit,
leaning upon him, we shall succeed.




XVI.
Woman's Work in the Church.
( HUS far we have spoken of
woman's work in the social and
(  domestic circle; a work that,
however important in itself, radiates outward. Concentrate as
we may the sun's rays, we cannot confine
them. The atmosphere is warmed by
them, the earth is invigorated, vegetation is rendered beautiful. Wherever
they go, into the home of the millionaire,
or into the hovel of the day-laborer,
brightness goes with them. Woman's
influence in her own home, although concentrated, is not confined there.  Like
the sunlight, it goes out into the com



272           WOMAN.
munity in which she dwells; goes with a
blessing, genial, winning, constraining;
or cold, formal, withering.  But it is
premised that we are talking with Christian mothers; mothers who aim to bring
up their children and to order their
households in the fear of the Lord; mothers whose little ones, like our own, are
strong in stature, willing to share the
burden, dividing the labor of the household, and using the time so that a reasonable share of leisure is the result.
Living in an age when the question of
woman's position in the church is so
often asked, it becomes us to pause and
reflect, bringing knowledge and judgment to our aid, unfettered by prejudice,
and only guided by the word of God.
In the sacred volume we find unmistakable evidence that woman's graces blossom into the greatest beauty in the atmosphere of her own home; that her crown



HER WORK IN THE CHURCH. 273
ing grace is to be a mother, intrusted
with the culture of immortal souls. We
have aimed only to show the strength of
woman's influence in the family; but
who of us will not readily admit the
influence of one who has the ability and
the tact of leadership in the transforming of neighborhoods and communities?
Look as her admirers hang upon her
words. Her opinions are law, her wishes
commands. Her manner, dress, style,
conversation, are imitated by many
around her. Why is this? Simply that
she is charming as a woman, and womanly in all her ways. Would you learn
the spell? It is in forgetfulness of self,
and an artless ease that carries with it
the charm of unconsciousness.
This transforming influence of woman,
exerted first of all in her own homewinning her husband, her children, her
domestics by the charm of her converWoman.         18




274           WOMAN.
sation, the admirable arrangement of her
household, the wisdom displayed in all
her ways-such influence is the effect of
study, of forethought, and of plan. To
admit this is not to lessen respect for
woman's modest simplicity, or to take an
iota from faith in her integrity. As a
woman, God has endowed her with
attractive qualities. He has given her
beauty and a winning grace. Why was
this, but that she should win by it love
and esteem? It is her nature: love is
the atmosphere in which she lives, thinks,
and feels; it is the stimulant to exertion,
the awakener of genius, the groundwork
of all that is high and noble in her being.
The minister studies, that he may
explain and make clear to the minds of
men the grand theme on which he is to
speak; the orator studies to fascinate
and to hold in thrall the judgment of his
listeners; the painter studies to charm




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH.     275
by his lifelike representation; the sculptor studies to throw life into the block of
senseless marble: and should not woman
study to win by her life, to charm by
her speech, to reflect in all her ways the
graces of a pure, noble Christian womanhood?
Clearly as her position is defined in
the family, it does not appear so exactly
defined in church work; and wisely, for
were there definite and specific rules,
they might lead to usages in themselves
inimical to the true interests of the church.
All that we can now gather is to do good
as we have opportunity; the woman with
a family and the woman without, each
doing what she can. It is too generally
true that the great body of Christian
women have felt that they had little to
do but to listen; the younger ones perhaps to take charge of classes in the Sabbath-school, with an occasional call or




276           WOMAN.
distribution of tracts among the poor.
leaving the great bulk of the work of the
church to the pastor and officers. A new
era has dawned; gleams of light from the
primitive church point to a more general
use of woman's tact and talent.  The
voice of the apostle Paul is heard in
commendation of sister laborers, and the
question is asked, What more can be
done by woman in our churches?
Far be it from me to presume to define
the exact position of woman, or any body
of women, in the church of Christ. Neither can I see that any definite plan for
all can be established. We must leave
it for each individual to use her time
wisely, conscious that for the use as for
the abuse of it, she is to give account.
God has specified certain things, making
them clear, distinct, and unchangeable.
There are others that he has left, not
limiting the performance to any definite




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH. 277
agency. We are told to pray; and while
it would seem a fitting posture for suppliants to kneel, there is no doubt but
equally acceptable prayer may be offered
in any other preferred posture of the
body.  It is not the posture, but the
spirit, that renders prayer acceptable.
The word of God is unchangeable.
His commands are as binding to-'day as
in the apostles' time; but upon minor
points the ways and means may change.
Church architecture is not the same as
in primitive times, the manner of worship is not in all respects what it was
then; but the spirit of worship, the love,
zeal, faith, earnestness to follow Christ,
are the same. Neither do we presume
to dictate as to the appointment of deaconesses. That they have been productive of good there can be no doubt; training women for religious service just as we
train them for teachers and for nurses.




278           WOMAN.
For this position only women of the
requisite age and experience are eligible. The mother of a family should not
be expected to leave her duties; the
young and beautiful girl should be excused for reasons quite as obvious.
Work for Christ is broad and comprehensive. We would not lay a feather's
weight upon the conscience of one faithfully striving to work for Jesus; neither
can we say this is the way, or that is
the way.  Circumstances of life vary.
Culture, custom, and experience are unlike in different localities. God has not
set all women in families. From many
he has taken away the delight of their
eyes, the idol of their souls, stripped them
of all and everything to which they could
turn for support, for sympathy, for love.
And why? There is a reason for all
this. God doth not willingly afflict. His
compassionate heart is moved by our




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH. 279
tears; our sorrow is his sorrow.  In
removing those on whom we leaned he
shows plainly that he would have us lean
upon him. In depriving us of the work
that we had thought our own, he says
plainly that he has something else for us
to do-something that will better serve
the interests of the Redeemer's kingdom.
A sisterzband of such women is formed
perhaps, and a world of good they may
do.  Trained nurses in hospitals are
quite as efficient in the work that is
theirs to do, as the well-read physician
or the skilful surgeon. As matrons in
charge of certain benevolent institutions,
the admirable homes provided for the
poor and the helpless, the destitute orphan, and the decrepit in advanced
years, woman's tact and woman's influence is widely felt-her humble, heavenly faith and tender charity permeating the whole system like leaven hid in




280            WOMAN.
meal, and binding all together with the
golden link of.Christian love.
As years roll over us, and. new avenues of usefulness open, we may see the
necessity for many institutions to fit such
Christian women as desire to devote
themselves to the service of the church,
for teachers, and nurses in hospitals,
sanatories, and private houses; or to
exercise the function of superintendents
in female prisons, asylums, homes of refuge, and other charitable establishments
where their services may be required.
The most interesting feature perhaps
of the labor of the deaconess is the recently developed one of parochial activity. It is the reproduction of the laborers of the early Christian church, of
whom Phoebe is the apostolical type.
The duty of the parish deaconess is to
visit the poor and the sick; to procure
for them as far as possible work and clo



HER WORK IN THE CHURCH.     281
thing; to instruct poor children in sewing and knitting, either singly or in
classes, giving a regular account of her
labors to the pastor. No doubt this is
an admirable plan, as it is one that has
already been undertaken by some of our
churches to a limited degree. But a few
days since I listened to a letter from one
of these churches in reference to this
work, carried on among them, hitherto
by one or two voluntary laborers, but
now considered worthy to be organized
and supported by the church.
It is not our purpose to enlarge upon
this system, neither to decide upon its
compatibility with our forms and customs; but rather to speak of woman's
work in a social form, as connected with
the churches.  While it is not given to
woman to "usurp authority," it is given
her to be the centre of social and domestic life. The family is the nursery of the




282           WOMAN.
church, and the Sabbath-school is the
intermediate link.  The horticulturist
gives us to understand that the nursery
requires his chief care.  In order to
have straight trees and a harmonious
growth, constant care has to be taken;
when they have attained a good degree
of strength not so much attention is required; and by-and-by a general oversight is all that is necessary.
The family is the nursery of the
church. The church is made up of families, the heads of families the mature
members of the church, the children
brought into it as soon as they are able
to understand what love to Jesus implies,
and what trust and confidence in him
signify. The great truths of religion
are nearer children's hearts than we are
usually aware. Simply to love Jesus
and to obey him is more readily understood by them, and far easier to be done,




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH.     283
than by the man of mature intellect, and
inclinations strongly set in the ways of
sin. It is a mistake to which the church
is just awaking, that children must be
shut out; at least, that they must wait a
prescribed number of years before they
can savingly believe that Jesus Christ,
the Son of God, came down to earth, and
suffered and died, to redeem them from
sin. What is required? Is it anything
more than love to Jesus? First love,
and then obedience.  It is not given
woman in general to dazzle by her genius, neither to enlighten through philosophy; but it is given her to do what
genius and philosophy fail to accomplish,
namely, to win hearts.
Love is the basis of family relations;
love is the basis of church union; love
is the element of woman's life; love is
the atmosphere in which children live.
A mother's love, a mother's influence is




284           WOMAN.
woven into our very natures. This sentiment is not peculiar to Christian mothers and Christian families. Alexander's
mother was a proud, ambitious woman,
not inclined simply to live in state when
it was known that she was the mother of
Alexander; and in her efforts to usurp
authority, she was always plunging him
into trouble. On one occasion, one of
his chief officers and most intimate associates took occasion to speak of this, and
to advise him so to limit her power that
she could not longer annoy him. The
great general replied that, sorely as his
mother troubled him, one tear from her
overcame it all. This man, that had little mercy for individuals, and none for
nations, loved his mother.
Love begets influence. It is through
this channel that woman wins; and when
her heart is warm with love to Jesus, is
there anything to forbid the use of all




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH. 285
her faculties of mind, her sweet persuasiveness, to win hearts for her Saviour?
Must she tone down her beaming countenance to an unnatural gravity, lessen
her charms by using a quaint, unbecoming style of dress and appearance, lay
aside that sweet urbanity of manner, the
charming fascination of look, word, and
deed, because she loves Jesus? Love to
Christ is the crowning grace of woman;
it is the perfection of womanly beauty.
In the room of rendering her less fascinating, it makes her more winning, more
worthy of human regard.
It has been said that woman knows
not herself until she loves. Doubtless
this is true; and it may as truthfully be
said that woman is not perfect as a woman, not as noble, not as true, not as lovely
as it is in her nature to be, until her
heart is filled with love to God.
Love in her heart begets a spirit of




286           WOMAN.
activity.  There is no sacrifice that she
is not willing to make, no hardship that
she cannot endure. There is no barrier
in her way, no obstacle that she will not
surmount.  This principle of love to
Christ intensifies her very soul. It is
the fountain from which she draws continual supplies; her life is permeated
by the breath of the Beloved; and thus
beautified, woman becomes a powerful
agent in the church of Christ, an active,
earnest, working member.
How is this done? Through her influence as a woman in her home, in society,
in the street, in the cars. Wherever,she is, she is the beautiful charming
woman, always ready with a smile, a
word of encouragement, a pressure of
the hand. Winning hearts for Christ:
it is her work. Her energies are alive;
she keeps it before her; she has a plan.
"Go work to-day in my vineyard," is




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH. 287
the command urging her forward. This
is a working age: the mind of man is
constantly projecting some new plan.
Every faculty is employed to win success; wealth, fame, the fleeting honors
of an hour are pursued with unwearied
diligence. Viewing life as the Christian
woman views it, shall she be less active?
Is it for her to let golden opportunities
pass?  Go work, for the night cometh,
and the account must be given in. Plain,
wise, kindly, and practical she must be,
building over against wherever she is,
searching out the poor and the suffering,
bending over the couch of pain, smoothing with her cool fingers the feverish
throbbing brow, gathering up the ignorant and neglected, and telling them of
Jesus-is not this effective church work?
Will not such efforts win as truly as the
sermon from the pulpit, or the labors of
the church officers? In the names given




288           WOMAN.
of those who built the walls of Jerusalem, mention is made of the daughters
as actuated by the same noble love, and
actually engaged in the glorious work.
The church has walls to be built up. It
may not be much that woman can do,
only a brick here and there; or it may
be some beautiful frescoes, on which an
artist is not able to advance more than
a hand's breadth in a day. Whatever
it is, let it be her best, and God will look
on her lowly labors with complacency.
Not only this. Woman is a doctrinal
teacher. There are spheres where her
teaching secures a wide interest and
makes a deep impression. It is probably a mistake that, as Christians, we
make so little of the humanity of Christ.
When men preach of him as an abstract
good, a great unseen power, a glorious
being whose throne is in the heavens,
what idea does the child gain? Awe




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH.     289
and terror may oppress him, but his soul
does not open to love. God is to him a
God of power, more ready to destroy
than to bless him. But tell him of Jesus,
tell him of the babe cradled in the manger, point him to the star, show him the
wise men as they bow before the babe
with their offering of gold, frankincense,
and myrrh; tell him that Jesus was once
a child, that he had to learn to walk and
to speak, that he was obedient to his
parents; tell him of this, and you awaken his sympathy, his soul is aroused,
love is kindled.  Show him Jesus at
twelve years of age teaching in the temple, describe to him the anxiety of his
parents when they had gone a day's journey towards home, and the boy Jesus
was not with thlem; show him that Mary
felt as you would feel if you should lose
your little son in a crowd, his little active mind begins to stir and question.
Wonfan.        19




290           WOMAN.
Jesus is real. The boy can think of
him just as he thinks of his associates and
playfellows. Take him to the wedding
at Cana; let him look at the water blushing into wine. Child as he is, he begins
to comprehend that Jesus had power that
an ordinary man has not. Show him the
feeding of the multitude with a few small
loaves and fishes. Tell him that Jesus
loved Mary and Martha and Lazarus,
and that at the grave of Lazarus he wept
with them. Make it plain to him how
the stone was rolled away, and Jesus
standing cried with a loud voice, "Lazarus, come forth." He knows that physicians are sent for to heal the sick, and
he also knows that when the sick die and
are buried, they never come back again
except at the bidding of Christ.  Let
him understand that Jesus came to earth
to suffer and to die for him; and he gains
a better idea of the power, as well as of




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH. 291
the mercy and loving-kindness of God,
than he could get from any other source.
Go through with each of the miracles,
and you will be surprised at the interest
manifested by the youngest child. Then
take him to the garden; but remember
the child's heart is susceptible.  You
must not picture all that Christ suffered;
you can only tell a part. There are tears
in his eyes, indignation on his cheeks,
his small hands are clinched.  "How
could they do it!" he cries. And your
voice is lost, the tears are rolling over
your own cheeks, you who have known
the story so long.
We need not fear making too much of
the humanity of Christ. Not only children, but older persons fail to have a
real and sensible idea of the God-man.
They do not think of him as really a man
as they are. His suffering does not move
them, perhaps because the idea strikes




292           WOMAN.
them that, if really possessed of divine
power, he did not suffer. To teach this
cardinal truth is appropriately woman's
work. It is the alphabet of what is
taught in the pulpit, and is not unfrequently overlooked, for the simple reason that it is believed to be ifficiently
understood. A talented clergyman, when
asked why he did not preach it more
fully from the pulpit, replied that he
could teach it more effectually in the
parlor.
There is still another doctrinal point
that comes within woman's domain-a
plain practical teaching in reference to
the work of the Holy Spirit. A great
many professing Christians, it is to be
feared, know little of this. They understand something of Christ and the atonement made for sin; but about the inward
work of the Spirit they seem profoundly
ignorant. Not unfrequently the work of




HER WORK IN TIE CHURCH.     293
the Spirit is confounded with the action
of conscience. The work of the Spirit
in the heart leads to repentance and
faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Satan is
always ready to assail the truth. Right
views on this subject can be disseminated in the parlor as well as in the pulpit.
The Spirit is with us as Christ's representative "until he come."  The dwelling-place of the Spirit is in our hearts.
We are renewed and sanctified, led and
taught by the Spirit. Prayer, importunate and ceaseless, is needful for the outpouring of the Spirit. John taught that
there is such a thing as the baptism of
the Holy Ghost. He taught that it was
the especial office of our Lord to give
this baptism to men. Forgiveness of sin
is not the only thing necessary to salvation. There must be the work of Christ
for us, and there must be the work of the
Holy Spirit in us. Christ ransomed us




294           WOMAN.
by his blood; but the renewing of the
soul, growth in grace, and preparation
for heaven are wrought in us by the
Spirit.
There are distinctive characteristics
by which we can know if the Spirit of
God dwells in our hearts as a quickening
power. By nature we are inactive, torpid, dead; we have not faith, nor hope,
nor fear, nor love; we are alive to the
world and its pleasures, but dead toward God. The Spirit awakens, renovates. and makes us new creatures in
Christ Jesus.
It is the Spirit that enables us to take
of the things of Christ and show them
unto others.  Do we love to do this?
Do we find it easy to talk of Jesus in the
parlor and by the way? Do we love to
commune with him as with a loved and
cherished friend?  Do we trust with a
sweet restful feeling, knowing that a




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH.     295
Father's care is round about us —that
we have a precious Elder Brother upon
whose arm we can lean? Is it our meat
and our drink to work for him?
There are still other points where a
woman's tact and ability can mould and
fashion others. Order and system belong especially to woman. Let her put
every duty in its place, and thus time
will be saved and work accomplished.
Zealous for Christ's cause, it is hers to
uphold the church, and to speak of its
ordinances and its ministry with honor.
It has been the fashion of some who profess godliness to underrate and attempt
to make ridiculous people whose Christian convictions lead them to adopt certain ideas not altogether harmonizing
with the etiquette of the times, but in no
wise to be held up before the world in
such a way as to render the native grace
and ability of the careless and indiffer



296           WOMAN.
ent only more attractive, by juxtaposition with the alleged defects of professors of religion. In this way reproach
is brought upon religion, and the cause
of our Lord is wounded in the house of
his friends.
Besides false representations of Christianity, the ministry is held in so little
esteem that even mothers scout the idea
of their sons entering the service of the
church. A few evenings since a mother
said, in speaking of her son, and what she
would like to have him become, should
he grow to manhood, "anything but a
minister." "Why so? I would rather
see my son a good, faithful minister of
the Lord Jesus, than to see him the
crowned head of the earth without the
qualities necessary for that position,"
was the reply. There was a puzzled
expression on the lovely face of the
former, but she said nothing.




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH. 297
To help rectify public opinion, and
turn it into better channels, is essentially woman's work. Let the young and
beautiful girl give her Christian friend
of the other sex to understand that she
esteems and reveres those who are willing to make sacrifices for Christ. Her
opinion will have its influence.
Not many years since, the writer
knew of such an instance. A young man
with more than ordinary endowments,
and with piety that strongly inclined him
to preach Christ and him crucified, had
a female friend whom he regarded beyond all otlers. Before he could decide,
he must confer with her. The lady was
a member of the same church; but wealth,
political fame, and literary eminence were
to her far more attractive than the work
of the Christian ministry. She could not
make up her mind to become a pastor's
wife. Alas for the young man called




298           WOMAN.
upon to decide between the creature and
the Creator. His choice must be made.
It was made; and to-day he is a thirdrate lawyer, a broken-hearted, spiritless
man. His idol was mortal; his house is
desolate.
The field is large. Every grade of
mental endowment can be brought into
use; the tract distributor, the trained
teacher, the skilful nurse, and the homeloving girl, according as God has given
them, each in her own place building
up her part of the wall. God is the
disposer of our circumstances as well as
of nations; not a sparrow falls to the
ground without his notice. The place
we each fill is the place that he would
have us fill. -The question is not how
great will be the results, but what effort
we make, the spirit in which we work,
the self-denial and the love we manifest.




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH. 299
That which approaches nearest to God
is the most natural.  To do good, do as
Jesus did. There was no undeviating
form with him. We are told that he
"went about doing good." Neither was
there any prescribed form in coming to
him. Some came of their own accord;
some were brought in the arms of their
friends; some were let down through the
roof. To reach him was the main thing,
to behold him the chief desire —to hear
him speak, to feel the healing influence
running through all their members. Those
that loved him followed him, talked of
him, were instructed by him, labored for
him and with him. Is there any better
rule for us?
Again, a Christian woman is in every
sense a missionary.  True, she may not
be called to leave her family and go to
the ends of the earth to teach Christ.
But if not called to the foreign field, she




300           WOMAN.
is to act as a home missionary, "beginning at Jerusalem" at her own home,
and working outward as her means, her
circumstances, her ability will permit.
The sweet graces of her character shine
the brightest when seen in the humblest
paths. The truths of religion strike the
deepest when exemplified by the young
and the lovely, at home, in the Sabbathsehool, in the street seeking the lost and
the miserable. Not with cold formality,
but with a sweet feeling of friendliness
entering into the details of ordinary life,
showing an equality of feeling, of sympathy, of love. The heart that loves Jesus
loves those for whom Jesus died. It is a
good, true, honest love. Never be afraid
to show it. Never be restrained for fear
it will not be understood. If Jesus had
been afraid of this, he would not have
left his Father's throne to come down to
us, to show how much he loved us.




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH. 301
Hearts are everywhere the same. Kindness is sure to win.
As an instance, I may be allowed to
mention the case of a young disciple,
since gone to her gracious reward. Her
father was a merchant of great wealth
and established integrity of character.
His clerks were numerous, young men of
fine ability; but not one of them entered
his employ with any thought in reference
to a future life. This daughter had been
carefully educated by a pious mother.
She was well read, fascinating in looks
and appearance, and as the acknowledged heiress of great wealth, she was a
leader in the social circle. Flattered by
the crowd, she did not swerve from the
sweet faith of her childhood; independent, she did not allow herself to be fettered by the opinions of the weak and
the frivolous. She knew enough of the
world to know that a young man in the




302           WOMAN.
city must be subject to manifold temptations, and she felt that in a certain sense
she was responsible for those in her
father's employ.
To feel the sweet prompting of duty
was to act upon it. Going to her father,
she made known to him her plan. At
first the merchant was unwilling. Young,
beautiful, and rich, he did not care to
have his daughter associate with his
clerks. But the gentle pleading of his
child finally overcame his objections.
He had never denied her wishes; he
could not now. The result was that the
clerks, in the room of being left to spend
their leisure time as they best could, were
invited to the home of their employer,
and by him and by his child were introduced to suitable companions; furnished
with books, with a general care and
oversight that roused their energies, and
led them to cultivate a higher tone of




HER WORK IN THE CHURCH.     303
moral character, and to be more faithful
to the duties in which they were engaged.
Self-respect was deepened. There was
a future before them.  They were to
show themselves men. Thought began
to stir and question; and to-day five of
those very clerks fill the pulpit, won to
preach through the influence of that
young Christian girl.
Was not that work quite as effective
as any that can be done in the church?
Was it less praiseworthy because it was
done by one young, beautiful, and rich?
Let each labor according as she hath
opportunity; and in the harvest time
coming from the north and from the
south, from the east and from the west,
each shall bring her sheaves, and receive
the welcome, " Well done, good and
faithful servant;.... enter thou in the
joy of thy Lord."




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