?HE SUITORS. A COMEDY, IN THREE ACTS, BY JEAN RACINE. TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH RY A MEMBER OF THE DETROIT BAR. [COPYRIGHT SECURED. I] DETROIT: PUBLISHED BY S. D. ELWOOD. 1862. A COMEDY, IN THREE ACTS, BY JEAN RACINE. TRANSLATED FR0OM THE FRENCHl BY A MEMBER OF THE DETROIT BAR. DETLROIT: THE DET —,'!T FREE PRESS STEAM PRINTING HOUSE. IS862 TO THE READER. A VEXATIOUS and disastrous litigation, to which RACINE was a party, was the occasion of his writing this play. "'LEs PLAIDEURS,' the only comedy written by':RACTINE, makes us wish that the Author had done " more in this department." FeASQUELLE. To the Bar of Michigan, the following translation of one of the plays of RACINE, is most respectfully dedicated, by THE TRANSLATOR. TiHE SUTITORS. PERSONS REPRESENTED: DANDIN, a Judge. A COU'NTESS. LEANDER, SG09 Of )Dasdin. LITTLE JOHNT, Porter to Dadizn. CRICANEAU, a Buress8. INTIME, ecreta-ry to iDacndin. 1SABELLE, Daughter of Chicaneau. A PROMPTER. SENE -- A ACity in Lower Normandy. ACT I IRST. Scene I. Enter, LITTLE JOHN, drawing a large bag of law papers. ZLittle John..He is mad who trusts to the ftture- Tl ose that, laugh on Friday cry on Saturday. Last year a judge took me into his service; he brought me from Amiens to be his porter. These Normans'wish to make sport of us, but b eingwith wolvest is said, we soon learn to howl. Though from Picardy, I was no simpleton, and I cracked my whip as wTell as the best of them. Men of consequence addressed me uncovered, as, Sir-Little-John; ah! such honors!'but honor without cash is only a distemper. Faith! I was a true doorkeeper. It was useless for them to knock and take off their hats; for without the porter's fee no one enters. No money, no service; and my door was shut. I furnished candles and hay for the establishment, hut I lost nothing in that. True, I sometimes accounted awith my master, but on the whole, I should have thrown the straw into the bargain. It was a pity that his heart was so much in his business; he was the first every day at court, and the last to leave it; and strange to say, very often he would even lie down there and sleep, without meat or drink. I now and then said to him, Mr. Per 6 TIIE SUITORS. rin Dandin, the truth is you rise every day too early. He that would travel far should spare his nag; should eat, drink, sleep, and keep up a spirit that would endure. He took no note of what I said. He has been so laborious and wakeful that some say he is cracked. He is always muttering over something that I do not understand, and he wants to judge us all, one after the other. In spite of us he will sleep in his judicial cap and robe. Once, in a rae, he Cth _I fflis rooster's head for not waking him at the usual hour, and declared that an unsuccessful litigant had paid the ploo;niimail hlush money. Since that rare judgment his son has allowed no one to speak to him on business, and lie has done much better. Sometimes he appcars cheerful in order to escape our attention, and it is necessary to watch him night and day, to prevent his running off to the courts. As for myself, I take no sleep: I have become very lean. What a pity! I stretch myself out and only yawn. But whoever watches, here is my pillow. For one night I must indulge. To sleep in' the street is no offense. Let us take a sleep, then. Lies down on the groudct. Enter, INNTIM/E, Intime. Ho! Little John! Little John! Little John. Intime! (aside) he is afraid I have taken cold. Intime. What are you doing in the street so early? Little John. Is it necessary to stand and watch a man always, and hear him howl? What lungs! For my own part, I think he is bewitched. Intimne. Nonsense T Little John. I told him, scratching my head, that I wanted to sleep. " Present thy request, whereas thou wishest to sleep," said he to me gravely. I fall asleep only in telling it. Good night. Idtime. What, good night! But I hear a noise above the door. Enter, DANDIN. -Dandi~n, at the window. Little John! Intime I intime, to Little John. Keep quiet. Dandin. I am here alone. Thank Heaven, all my jailors are in default, but if we give them time they will appear; so, to get clear of them we will leap out of the window. The court is adjourned, (Ile leaps down on to the stage.) Intime. How he jumps! Little John. Oh, I hold you, Sir. 1Dandin. Stop thief! Stop thief [ THE SUITORS. 7 Little John. O! We will hold you well. Intime. It is useless to shout. Dandin. Help, ho! They murder me. Enter, LEANDER. Leander. Quick! A light! I hear my father in the street. Father, why do you go out so early? Where do you run to il the night? Dandin. I go to court; to judge. Leander. To judge who? Everybody is asleep. Little John. Faith! I sleep but little. Leander. What bags! (of law papers.) They hang down to his very knees. ZDandin. I do net wish to enter the house again for three months. I have laid in an abundance of provisions in bags and law suits. Leandcler. And who will feed you? Dandin. The adjoining innkeeper, I think. Leander. But, father, where will you sleep? Dandin. In court. Leanler. No, father, it is better you should not go out. Sleep at your house. Take your meals there. Allow good sense to direct you, and as for your health-.Dandin. I wish to be sick. Leander. You alleady are, only too nuch; give yourself some repose. You will soon be nothing but skin and bones. Dandin. Some repcsel Ah! You wish to regulate your father by yourself. Think you a judge has only to make merry with his friends; to walk about like a set of idlers; to attend balls at night and gaming houses by day? Money comes not quite so easy as that. Each of your ribbons costs me a judgment. My robe shames you. A son of a judge! Ah! Fie, fie! You play the gentleman; but I say! Dandin, my fiiend, look at the portraits of the Dandins in my chamber and wardrobe: all have worn the robe, and it is a good profession. Compare robe for robe; the presents of a judge with those of a marquis. Wait till Christmas and then see. What is a gentleman? A post in an ante-chamber. Hlow many of them have you seen (I speak of the proudest) blow their fingers in my court, with cloak over the 2nose, and hands in the pockets; and finally come down and turn a spit in my coolk room in order to get warm? Ah! My poor 8 THE SUITORS. fellow, is that the lesson of your deceased mother? -the poor Babon,ette? Alas! When I think of it, she never missed a session; never, no never, did she leave me; and God knows what she often brought away: why, rather than come home emptyhanded, she would take the napkins at the inn. That is the way fine houses are furnished. Be gone; you will always be a fool. Leander. Father, you are chilled here. Little John3, conduct your master back; put him in his bed; close the door an(d windows; fasten all so that he may get warm. Little John. At least then put a railing up there. Dandin. What! Shall I be put to bed thus informally? Obtain a decree ordering me to sleep..Leander. Oh, yes! But lie down in the mean time, father. Dandin. I will go, but I am going to make you all angry. I will not sleep. Leander. Well, be it so. Let him not be left alone. You remain with him, Intime. (Exit, Dandin aend Little John.) Leandcler. I wish to speak with you alone a moment. ntim,q-e. What! is it necessary to watch you also? Leander. I may well need it. I have my weakness as well as my father. Intimne. Ah, would you wish to judge? Leacder, pointing to the house of Isabelle. There is the mystery. Do you know that house? Intiqn/e. At last I understood you. The deuce! love has taken you early. Doubtless you would speak to me of Isabelle. I have said to you a hundred times, that she is wise and handsome; but you should consider that Mr. Chicaneau consumes the best part of his fine property in law. Whom has he not sued? I believe if he should live he would cite all France into court. He has taken chambers close by the Judge. The one wants to be always in litigation, and the other always sitting in judgment. Ten to one, if he concludes your love affair without suing the parson, the notary, and the son-in-law. Leander. I know it all, but in spite of all that, T die for Isabelle. Intimte. Well, marry her. Everything is ready; you have only to speals, (to pop the question.) 5Leander. O, sir! such matters move not as quickly- as your wit. I fear that savage -her father. No one but a bailiff, sergeant, or solicitor, can speak to his daughter, and t1he poor Isabelle, imprisoned in her house, sighs unseen. She beholds her youth waste itself in regrets, my love in vapor, and his property in litigation. He will THE SUITORS. 9 ruin her if he is allowed to. May you not know some honest forger who serves his friends? Some zealous sergeant? For pay, of cou'se. Intirme. Indeed, so many such can be found! Lecander. But still? Intime. Oh! if my poor, dear father, was yet alive I He was just the man for you! He could make more in a day than others could in six months. His writs were engraven in the very wrinkles of his face. He would stop the carriage of a prince, and even arrest the prince himself; and if a bailiff got twenty floggings in the service of process, he would pocket the damages for nineteen of them. But what do you want? Was I not a son of his? I will serve you. Leander. You? Intime. Better than a sergeant, perhaps. Leander. Would you carry a forged writ to the father? Intimre. Bless my soul! Leander. You would take a note to the (laughter? Rntine. Why not, I am up to both. Leander. Come, then, I understand you. We will plan the scheme elsewhere. (Exeunt.) Scene I. E:nter, CHIOANEAU. Chicanzeu, going and returning. Let the house be taken care of, I shall soon return. Let not a soul go up. Take this letter to the post for Maine. Take three rabbits from the warren and carry them this morning to my solicitor. If his clerk comes here, get him to taste my wine. Ah! give him the bag that hangs at my window. Is this all? Perhaps he will call for a certain man,.tall and gaunt; my standing witness, who swears when I want him to; yu. know who I mean; let him wait for me. It has struck four, and I fear least my judge may be gone out. But we will knock. -(Knocks.) Little John, opening the door. Who is there? Ohicaneau. Can one see the master'? Little John, shutting the door. No. Chicaneau, knocking. Or speak a word to his honor.the Secretary? Little John, shutting the door. No. Chicaneau6, knocking. Or to his honor the porter? Little John. That is me. Chicaneau, slipping a piece of money into his hand. Be so good as to drink my health, Sir.,,* 10 THE SUITORS. Little John. Much obliged to you; but (shutting the door) come again to-morrow. Chicaneau. Ah! return my money then. Truly, the world is become very wicked. I have seen the time when law suits gave us no trouble; six crowns would gain a half a dozen of them. But now, I believe my whole property would nut be enough to bribe a porter. But madam the Countess of Pinlbesche comes. She is on some urgent affair. Enter, COUNTESS. Chicaneau. No admittance, madam. Countess. Well; did I not say so? To say the truth, my servants make me loose my wits. Scolding will not make them get up, and I must wake them every day. Chicaneau. He finds it absolutely necessary to conceal himself. Countess. For my part I have not been able to speak to him these two days. Chicaneau. My opponent is powerful, and I have everything to fear. Countess. No fault should be found, after what has been done in my case. Chicaneau. If, however,.1 have good right. Countess. Ah, Sir! what a judgment! C(hicaneau. I will Submnit my case to you. Hear me if you please. Countess. It is proper, Sir, that you should know the perfidy — Chiccaneau. At bottom there is really nothing. Countess. Sir,let me say to youChicaneau. Here are the facts. Some fifteen years ago a young ass crossed a small meadow and rolled himself there, doing much damage. I complained to a neighboring judge and attached the ass. An appraiser is summoned, and the waste is valued at two bundles of hay. Finally, at the end of a year, sentence is pronounced, and the case is dismissed. I appeal. A decision is urged, but delayed. And, mark well this, madam, ir you please. Our friend Drolichon, who is no fool, obtains for a little money a special decree, and I gain my case. Then what do they do? My pettifogger stops the execution. Then comes an incident. While they labor at my suit, the opposite party lets his poultry into my meadow. Ordered, that all be joined in one suit, and that it be reported to the court how much grass a hen can eat in a day. Finally, the case being ready, the fifth or sixth of April, 16(56, is TH-E SUITORS. 11 fixed for the hearing. I begin again. I furnish declarations, rejoinders, inquests, orders, reports of appraisers, examinations by the court, three interlocutory decisions, new facts and new grievances, official statements and stipulations. I obtain letters royal and undertake to prove all false. Fourteen salaries, thirty writs, six enltreaties, one hundred and twenty exhibitions of docuuments, twenty prohibitory ducrees; final judgment. I loose my case with costs, estimated at five to six thousand francs. Is thlat justice? Is that like a judge? After fifteen or twenty years! However, there is still a chance; I am not beat, for I have the final appeal yet. But I perceive that you litigate also! Cotzttess. Oh! that I did. Chicaneau. I will spend my last sou before I will give it up. Countess. IChicaneau. Two bundles of hay! five or six thousand francs! Countess. Sir, all my suits are to be ended. I have now only four or five insignificant ones on hand, one against my husband and the others against my father and children. Oh, Sir! misery I What could have possessed them I know not, nor do I know all they have done; but a decree has been made, that, being fed and clothed, I am forbidden to sue any more during my life. Chican;e'au. Wt Countess. To sue. Ohicaneau. Surely, that appears dalk; I am surprised at it. Countess. It reduces me, Sir, to despair. Cicanealu. rWhat! to enjoin people of your rank! But the alimony, madam, is it large? Countess. I could live respectably on it; but._oLiv e-ewit hout El~ti t >.~~a.e3te~h_wa, nt? COicaneau. The tricksters will eat the very life out of us, and we cannot say a word. But, if you please, madam, how long have you been in law? Countess. I do not remember. Thirty years perhaps. Chicaleau. That is not long. Countess. Alas! Chicaneau. You look well; what is your age? Countess. 0, some sixty years. C(hicaneau. Indeed! that is the finest age for law suits. Countess. Let them work; they are not through yet. Chicaneau. Madam, hear me.'1 his is what must be done. Gountess. Yes, Sir, I believe you as my own father. 12 THE SUITORS. /ichcaneau. I would go to my judge. Gountess. Oh! yes, Sil, I will go. Chicaneau. To throw myself at his feet. C7ountess. Yes, there will I throw myself. I have resolved to do it. Chicaleau. But, deign to hear me, then. Countess. Yes, you take the thing as it should be taken. Chicaneau. Have you spoken, madam? Countes. Yes. Chicaneau. I would go to my judge informally. ounztess. Alas! but this is a fine gentleman! Chicaneau. If you talk all the time, I must be silent. Countess. Alas! I am so glad. How much you oblige me! Chicaneau. I would go to my judge and say to him - Countess. Yes. Chicaneau. See! and would say to him: SirCountess. Yes, Sir. Chicaneau. Bind me - Countess. I do not wish to be bound, Sir. Chicaneau. Nonsense! Countess. And I will not be. Chicaneau. What a humor have you I C(ountess. No. CAhicaneau. You know not, madam, to what I am coming. Countess. I will litigate, Sir, or I shall not be able to. Chicaneazu. But - Countess. But I do not wish to be bound, Sir. Chicaneac. Truly, when a woman is madCountess. Mad yourself. Chicaneau. Madam! Countess. Bind me for what? C(hicaneau. Madam! Countess. See, see! he grows familiar. Chicaneau. But, madcm - Countess. The dirty trickster would give counsel. -Ohicaneau. Madam 1 Countess. With his young ass. Chicaneau. You press me beyond endurance. Countess. Good man, go take care of your grass. Chicaneau. You tire me out. Countess. The fool! Chicaneau. Oh! that I had witnesses of:this! THIE SUITORS. 13 F7etcr, LITTLE JOHN. Little John. Hear the noise they make at our door I Gentlemen, move off with your clamor! Chicaneau. Gentlemen, be witnessesCountess. That this fellow is a fool. Chicaneame. You hear her, Sir; remember the word. Little John, to the Countess. Ah! you should never have allowed such an expression to escape you. Countess. Indeed, it is well in him to call me crazy. Little John, to (hicaneaut. Crazy! you are wrong, Sir. Why do you abuse her? Cthicaneea. Nnay, but I counsel her. Little John. Oh! Cotuntess. Yes, to get me bound I Little John. Oh Sir! Chicanena. Why does she not hear me through? Little John. Oh madam! Counqtess. Who, me! allow one to wrangle with mel Chicaneau. Inquisitive woman! Little John. Silence, I say. Countess. A trickster. Little John. Stop there. Chicaneacu. Who dare not go to law any more? Countess. What is that to you? What make you of it, abominable forger, mischief maker, thief! Chicaneau. Good, good! A bailiff! A sergeant! Countess. A sergeant! A bailiff! (Exit, Counte.ss and Chieaneau.) Little John, alone. Faith, judge and suitor, it will be necessary to bind them both. (Exit.) ACT SECOND. Scene L Enter, LEANDER AND INTIME. li1time. Once again, Sir, I cannot do all; while I play the bailiff, you play the commissioner. You have only to follow my steps in a sergeant's robe, and you will have abundant opportunity 2 14 THE SUITORS. to converse with her. Color your light hair dark. Will these suitors ever dream who you are? Eh! when they go to pay their respects to your father, they scarce ever see you. But, do you not admire this good countess, that fortune so happily sends in my wav? Who, seeing me fall into the snare, charged me with a writ to summon Mr. Chicaneau for certain \wordls, by which he sought to make her out a maniac. A maniac, I say, to be bound, and for other vielence and blasphemies, which are always the ornamtent of law suits. But, you take no note of all my equipage. Tell me truly, have I not the countenance and carriage of a sergeant? Leancler. Ah! most undoubtedly! JIntime. I do not know, but I feel finllly, six times better prepared, in body and soul, for floggings than I did this morning. Let what may come of it, then, here is the writ, and here is your letter. I dare promise you Isabelle shall have it. Still, in order to get the contract signed which I have here, you must come with me. You will pretend to inquire into the matter, and thus make love before her father's face. Lcander. But do not, I pray you, give the writ for the letter. Intime. The father will have the writ, the daughter the billetdoux. Let us enter. (Exit Leander. litirne knocks at Isa'belle's door.) Isabelle, behind the door. Who knocks? Intinwe. A fiiend. (Aside.)'Tis Isabelle's voice. csabclle. Do you require any one, Sir? intimne. Mademloiselle, I have a small writ, and I beg you will allow me the honor of serving it. Isabelle, entering. Excuse me, Sir; I do not understand things of that sort. Father will soon be here, and he will understand you. Intime. He is not then here, lady? Isabelle. No. Iuttime. The writ is in your name. Jsabelle. You doubtless take me, Sir, for another. Without having been in law suits, I klnow what they cost; and if others liked th no better than I do, the like of you might seek other employment. Adieu. TIntime. But permit meIsabelle. I will permit nothing. Inti-ne. It is not a writ. Isabelle. Nonsense! Intimre. It is a letter. THE SUITORS. 15 Isabelle. Still less. Intime. But read, I pray you. Isabclle. Oh! you cannot (leceive me. Intimne. It is fiomn Mr. Isabelle. Adieu. Intime. Leander. Isabelle. Speak low. This is from Mr..Ititne. I am all out of breath. One has trouble to make himself h eard. Isabelle. Ah! Intime, forgive my astonished senses. Give it me. Iatime. You would shut the door in my face. Isabelle. And who would have known you, disguised in that sort? But give it me. fltimae. Is your door opened for honest people? Isabelle. Give it me then, I say. timane. The pest! -- Isabelle. Oh, then, do not give it. Return with your letter. 1etime. Here it is. Another time be not so hasty. Enter, CHICANEAUo Chicaneaeu. 0 yes, I am then a fool —a thief, in her estimation. An officer has been directed to thank her; I am going to serve her with a dishl of my cookery. I should be sorry if this had to be done over again, or if I should be the first summoned. But, a man speaks to my daughter here. How, now! She reads a letter! Ah, it is from some lover. Let us draw near. Isabelle. Really, is your master sincere? Shall I believe it? aitine. He is as restless even, as your father. He frets himself; and he will make (seeing Chicaneau) you see to-day that nothing is gained by suing him. Isabelle, seeing Chicaneau. It is my father I You (to Idtimc) can tell them plainly, that if they pursue us we shall find means to defend ourselves. Here, you see the case we make of your writ. (Teari7g the letter.) Clicancau. What! it is a writ my daughter reads! Ah! you will one day be the honor of your famnily. You will know ]how to defend your property. Come, my daughter —my life. I will buy for you the book of French Practice. But, the deuce! it will not do to tear up the writs. Isabelle. Assure them that I have little fear for them. They will make rne much amusement. They may do their worst. 16 THE SUITORS. Chicaneau. Ah I do not get angry. Isabelle, to Intime. Adieu, sir. (Exit, Isabelle.) Intime, taking a position to write. Now then, let us have the facts. Ghicaneam. I beg you, sir, excuse her; she is not accustomed to business; and then, here are the pieces, if you like I can put them together again. Intime. No. Chicaneau. I can still read it very well. Intime. I am not sorry for it; I have a copy with me. Chicancau. Ah! those features impress me. I know not why, but the more I look at you, the less I remember your countenance, sir. I know many bailiffs. Intime. Inform yourself of me. I acquit myself very well in my small business. Chicaneav. Be it so. But for whom are you here? Intime. For a worthy lady, sir, who does you honor, and would wish with all her soul, that you might come on my summons, and make her reparation. C(hicaneam. Reparation I I have injured no one. Intime. I believe it, sir. You have too good a heart. Chicaneau. What require you, then? Intime. She requires that, in presence of witnesses, you do her the honor to acknowledge her wise, and no maniac. Chicaneat. Zounds! this is my countess. Intime. She is your servant. Chiccaneau. I am her servant. intime. You are obliging, sir. Chicaneau. Yes, assure her that a sergeant shall take to her all she requests of moe. But, how, now! the beaten to pay the fine I Faith! let us see what she says: "Sixth of January; for having falsely said, being induced thereto by the very spirit of chicanery, that it was necessary to bind t6he high and puissant Yolande Cundasne, countess of Pimbesche, Olbesche, etcetera; it is ordered, that be repair forthwith to the lady's residence, and there, in a clear voice, in presence of a notary and four witnesses, the said Hierome shall promptly and openly avow, that he holds her to be sensible and of a sound judgment. (Signed,) La BoNv." That is the title of your seigniory? lintime. In order to serve you (aside), I must put on a bold face. Chicaneau. Le Bon! Never was there a writ signed Le Bon. Sir, you ale - THE SUITORS. 17 Intime. Sir — Chicaneau. You are a rascal. Intime. I beg your pardon, Sir, I amr a very honest man. Chicaneau. But tne most arrant knave from Caen to Rome. Intime. It is not for me to contradict you, Sir, but you will have the goodness to pay me well for it. Chicaneau. I pay you? In cuffs. Jietime. You are too civil for that, but you -will pay me well for this. Chicaneau. Ah! you tile me. There is your payment; take it. (Strikes him.) Isztime. A blow in the face! Let us note it down. 1"The which Hierome, after much resistance, hit- struck nmy officer on the cheek, and caused his hat to fall into the mud fiom, the blow." Chicaneau, kicking him. Add that to it. Inztime. Good! that makes the money count up well. I am much in need of it. ( Writes.) "And not content with this, he reiterates the blow with his foot." Courage! "And more besides; the aforesaid, in a rage, would have torn up the present written statement." Come, my dear Sir, that is not bad. Do not give up so. Chicaneau. Rascal! Intime. A few blows with a club, if you please, and I shall be in easy circumstances. Chicaneau, shaking a cane over him. Indeed! I will see if he is an officer. Intime, in position to write. Now then, strike. I have four children to support. (Chicaneau. Ah! your pardon, Sir! I should never take you for a bailiff; but the shrewdest may sometimes be mistaken. I shall make reparation for my suspicion, so insulting. Yes, Sir, you are a bailiff, and a shrewd one. Your hand; I revere the like of you. I was brought up by my late father in the fear of God, Sir, and of bailiffs. Intim2e. No indeed, Sir. People are not flogged so cheap as that. Chiecanzea. No pr(osccution, Sir, if you please. lntime. Servant. Contumacy, cudgel raised, a cuff, a kick. Ah, ha! Chicaaneau. I pray you to return them on me rather. Intime. It is quite enough that they were received. I would not part with then for a thousand crowns. (Enter, LEANDER, in 18 THE SUITORS. a commissioner's robe.) Here we ha e in good time his honor the judge. Sir, your presence here is necessary. This gentlernan, as you may easily see, has made me a present of a most violent slap in the face. Leancier. To you, Sir? lntime. To me, in proper person, Sir. Besides many bad names and a kick, Sir. Leandcr. Have you any witnesses? lntinme. Only feel, Sir. My cheek yet burns from the blow. Leander. A criminal affair, and taken in thle act! Chicatecazs. Ah, woe is me! ilntine. Andel more; his daughter, one at least who is reputed such, has torn in pieces one of my papers, exclaiming with an air of satisfaction, that we caused her much pleasure, and that she bid us defiance. Leaszcier, to Intibme. Bring the daughter before us. The very spirit of contumacy reigns in this family. Chicaneeau, aside. I awish I may be strangled if I know one of them. I must be bewitched. Leander. Indeed! To flog a bailiff! But here is the rebel. Enter, ISABELLE. Intiime, to Isabelle. Do you recognize him? Lesander. Well, young lady, it is you thleln, that braves our officer and darles to defy us so haughtily? Your name? Isabelle. Isabelle. Leander, to Intime. Write it down. And your age? Isabclle. Eighteen years. Chicalenau. She is a little over;. but no matter. Leaender. Are you married? Isabelle. No, your honor. Leander. You laugh? Write down that she laughed. Chicancau. Sir, talk not of husbands to maids. See you, those are famlily secrets. Lceander. Put down that he interrupts. CI.icavcaoo. 0! I was not thinking of that. My daughtecr, take good care what you say. Leander. Be not discomposed; answer at your leisure. We wish to do nothing here to displease you. Have you not just received frorn 1his bailiff a certain paper? Isabelle. Yes, your honor, THE SUITORS. 19 Chicaneau. That is right. Leander. Did you tear the paper without reading it? Isabelle. I re;d it, if your honor please. Cialecaeau. Good. Leandcr, to fltime. Continue to write. (To Isabelle.) And why did you destroy it? Isabelle. I feared least my father should take the business too much at heart, and that lie might become angry in reading it. Chicaneau. You avoid process! Tlhat is pure naughtiness. Leanler. Then you have not torn it spitefully, or in contempt of those mho addressed it to you? Isabelle. I lhave fur them, Sir, neither scorn or anger. Leander, to lItirme. Write. Cicaneaeu. I remta!k lo you that she resembles her father. She answers remarklably well. Leandler. You exhibit, however, an evident scorn for all gentlemen of the robe. Isabelle. A robe always slhocked me; but at present the aversion diminlislhes. Ch,;careaut. T!,e poor child i Go, go; I will match you well, so soon as I can, if it costs me nothing. Lcavnc-dr. Are you willing, then, that justice should be satisfied? Isabelle. I will do anything, Sir, rather than displease you. Intimne. Sign this paper. Lcandecr. You will at least sustain your deposition when called on? Isabelle. Rest assured, Sir, that Isabelle is constant. Leancder. Sign. That is well; justice is satisfied. Now, do you not sign, Si'? Chicaceac. Indeed, gaily. I subscribe blindly to all she has said. Lcancler, aside to Isabelle. All goes well, according to ray wishes. He siglns a contract drawn in due form, and will by and by be condemned over his own signature. (Tluicancau. What says he to her? He is charmed of her wit. Lcander. Adieu. Be always as wise as you are h]andsome, and all will go well. Bailiff, conLtduct her home. (Exit, Intime and fisabclle.) And you, Sir, march. Clicancaet. V lhere, your honor? Lcander. Follow me. Clicanccaiu. Where then? Lcander. You will know. MImch, in the king's name. Cidcaneat. IHow? Exeeunt. 20 THE SUITORS. Scene Il~ E.zter, LEANDER, CHICANEAU, LITTLE JOHN. Little John. Halloo! has any one seen my master? Which way went he; out by the door, or out at the window? Leander.'What next? Little John. I know not what has becomUe of the son, and as for the father, he is where the devil put him. He called incessantly for his perquisites -his official spices. I, in my simplicity, run into the pantry for the pepper box, and in my absence he disappeared. Enter, INTIMrE. D)andin, at a garret w)indow. Peace! peace! keep silence there. Intime. By faith, there he is in the garret! Dandin. Who are you? What is your business? Who are those in robes? Speak. are you advocates? Little John. You will see him proceed to sentence the cats. Danclin. Have you been particular to see my Secretary? Go andl ask him if I understand your business. Leander. I must go and force him fiom that place. Bailiff, keep an eye on your prisoner. Little John. Oh, ho! Sir. Leander. Silence on your life, and follow me. Exit, LEANNDrE AND LITTLE JOHN. Eztcr, COUNTESS. Dandin. Quick, make hnown your requests. Chicacneacu. I am made prisoner, Sir, without your order. Countess. I see his honor in the cockloft. What does he there? ztimae. He holds court there. Madam, the field is clear for you. Chicancau. Sir, violence is done me. They injure me, and I have come to make complaint. Countess. Your honor, I came to complain also. Chicanea and Countess, both spcaking. You see my opponent before you. Intime. Zounds! I have a case also to present. Chicaneau, Cosnntess anzd.lntime, all speaking. Your honor, I have come here to present a small matter for your consideration. Chicaneau. I say,. gentlemen, let us state our rights one at a time. THE SUITORS. 21 C)untess. His rights! All he says is so much imposition..Dandin. What have they-done to you? Chicaneane, Countess, Intime, all speaking. They have abused me. Intime. Besides a blow, Sir; I am the most abused of all. Chicanneam. Your honor, I am cousin to one of your nephews. Countess. Father Cordon, if it please the court, will state my case for me. Intinze. If it please the court, I am related to your apothecary. Dandin. What are your titles? Countess. Countess, Sir. Intisme. A bailiff. Chicateau. Burgess, Sir. Gentlemen - D)andin. Proceed, I can hear all three together. (He withdraws from the garret window.) Chicaneau. GentlemnenIntimne. See there; he is leaving us. Couzntess. Alas for me I C/hicanceae. What! I say, is the court adjourned already? I have not had time to speak two words to him. Enter, LEANDER, without his robe. Leander. Will you be so good, gentlemen, as to leave us a little quiet? Chicaneau. Can one enter, Sir.? Leateder. You cannot if I die for the refusal. Chicaneau. Alh, why not? I shall have finished in one hour, two at the most. Leander. You cannot come in, Sir. Countess. It is well done to shut the door against that brawler. But as for meiLeander. I declare to you, madam, no -one shall enter. Countess. Oh, Sir I I will enter. Leander. Perhaps you will. Uountess. I am sure I will. Leander. It will be by the window then. Countess. By the door. Leander. We shall see. Chicaneau. Though I should stay even till night2* 22 THE SUITORS. Enter~, LITTLE JOHN. Little John, to Leander. Whatever we do no attention is paid to it. They are determined to annoy him. Zounds! I have thrust him in a lower room near the cellar. Leander. One word for all; my father shall not be seen. Chicaneau. Very well, then. If, however, it should be necessary that I should see him on this affairDan/diIi an air hole. But what do I see! Ah! it is hebw heaven has sentu. Learnder. What! at the air hole! Chicaneau. Your honor Dandin. The impertinent I but for him 1 should be out. Chicaneau. Please your honor -. DIandin. Be gone, you are a for,1. (?hicaneau. Sir, will you be so good -- DIndin. You split ray head. Chicaneau. But, sirl, I have directed D)a:zndin. You are told to be silent. Ohiccneau. That there should be sent to you - _Dandin. To prison with him. Chicaneau. Certain quarter casks of wine. Dandin. I will have nothing to do with it. Chicaneau. It is very excellent muscat. Danclin. State your case again. Leander, to Iztizme. We must surround them on all sides. ('ountess. Sir, whatever he says to you is false. Chicanean. I tell you the truth..Dandin. Let her speak. Countess. Hear me, your honor. Dcandin. Do allow me to breathe. Clhicaneau. If the court pleaseiDandins. You stifle me. Oounztess. Turn your eyes to me. Dandin. Ay, ay! She stifles me. Chicaneam. Faith! you draog me down. Take care, I am falling. (The floor gives lay. ) Little John. Upon my word, they are all safe in the cellar. Leander. Quick, run to their relief. But at least, now Mr. Clhicaneau is down there, I wish he may not come out again to-day. See to it, Intime. THE SUITORS. 23 Intine. Watch the air-hole. Leanlder. Go quick; watch it. (Exit, Intime and Little John.) Countess. Wretch! He would prejudice his mind. Your honor, (at the air hole) believe nothing he says. He is a liar, and he has no witnesses. Lecandcr. Madam, what are you saying to them there? Perhaps they are dying. Countess. He will rnake him believe just what he wishes. 0! sir, allow me to go in. Leander. No, no! no one will go in. Countess. I understand, sir. The muscat operates as well on the son as on the mind of the father. I will be patient, and make my protest as may be necessary, both against the judge and the quarter casks. Leander. Go, then, and cease to worry us here. What maniacs i'Never wasI at such an entertainmentl; before. (Exeeunt.) Scene IlI. Enter, DANDIN, LEANDER AND INTIME. Intime. Where go you, sir? You are quite lame and yet you run into danger. _Dandin. I am going to hold court. Leandser. How is it with you, father? Allow us to dress your wounds. Quick, call a surgeon..Dandin. Let him come to the court room. Leancdler. 0, father-, remain here - _Da ndin. Oh! I see how it is. You pretend to do with me as pleases yourself. You neither love nor respect me. I cannot pronounce a single judgment. Well, finish your work; take this bag, (putting his hand on his stomnach,) and take it quickly.:Leander. O, father, gently. We will arrange the matter. If you are so anxtious to dispense justice, and if, while out of court, your life is one continual suffering, still it is not necessary to leave your own house. Dispense justice among us, and thus exercise your talents. Dandin. HaRil inot here at the judiciary. Do you see? I will not be a judge in appearance merely. Lcander. On the contrary, you shall be a judge with civil and criminal jurisdiction, and without appeal. You can hold sessions every day. You shall do nothing but make d(ecrees. Is a tumbler 24 THE SUITORS. not cleaned properly, sentence the guilty servant to do better; is it broken, sentence him to the lash. Dandirn. There is something in this. You reason quite to the point. And my perquisites, who will pay them? Any one? Leandler. Hold their wages as security..Dancdin. His observatiouls seem quite pertinent. Leander. Against one of your neighborsEnter, LITTLE JOHN. Little John. Stop! Stop him! Catch him! Leandcler, to Int~ime. A h! it is doubtless my prisoner that escapes. 1[ntime. No, no10; fear nothing..Liltle John. All is lost —Citron — your dog; your dog has just oeen down -and devoured a capon. Nothing is safe before him; whatever he finds he takes. Leander. Luck! there, fathelr, is a case for you. Help! run after hinm; run all. Dandin. Softly; not so much noise; a quiet arrest will answer every purpose. Leander. Here, father, make a proper example. Judge this domestic thieS severely. -Da7ndin. I would also make a brilliant affair of it. Tie parties should have counsel. But we have non'e..Leander. Well, then we must make them. There is your porter and your secretary. You can make of them, I think, excellent advocates. They are quite ignorant. Intime. Your pardon, sir', your pardon. I can put his honor to sleep as quick as any other man. Little John. For my part, I know nothing., Expect nothing from me. Leander. This being your first cause, it shall be prepared for you. Little Johln. But I cannot read. Leander. 0, they will prompt you. Dandin. Come, let us prepare. Now, gentlemen, no chicanery. We close our ears to presents and our eyes to trickery. Solicitor Little John, you be thle plaintiff; and Solicitor Intirue, you be the defendant. (Exeunt.) THE SUITORS. 25 ACT THIRD. Scene I. Enlter, CHICANEAU, LEANDER AND PROMPTER. Ch/icaneau. Yes, sir; it is thus they manage the case. I know neither the bailiff or the commissioner. Every word I say is true. Leander. I believe it all; and yet if you take my advice you will let it drop. It is in vain to think of prosecuting them both; you will disturb their repose less than your own. Three-fourths of your estate is already spent in this one pursuit against your own interests- in filling the bags with law papers, and heaping them one upon another - C]hicaneau. Truly, you give good advice, and I intend ere long to profit by it. But I plray you intercede for me. When his honor the judge gives audience I will bring my daughter in at once. They may question her; she is truthful, and will answer even better than myself. Leander. Go, and return; justice will be done you. Exit, CHICANEAU, Prompter. What a man! Leander. I use a strange artifice; but my father is a desperate man, and we must amuse him with an imaginary case. I have another design, I wish him to pass sentence on this mad man, who brings everything into litigation. But here are our friends, close upon us. Enter, DANDIN; and INTIME AND LITTLE JOHN, in robes..Dandin. Now, then, what are you? Leander. These are the advocates. Dandin, to the prompter. You? Prompter. I came to assist their troubled recollection. Dandin. I understand you. And you? (to Leander.) Leander. Me! I am the audience..Dandin. Well, then commence. Prompter. Gentlemen - Little John. Oh! speak lower. If you bawl so loud I shall not be heard at all. Gentlemen -.-.Dandin. Put on your hats. Little John. Oh! Gent- - Dandin. l'ut on your hats, I say I 3 26 THIE SUITORS. Little John. Ah, your honor, we know what politeness requires. Dandin. Then do not put your hats on. Little John, putting on his hat. Gentlemen - (to the Prompter) you, softly; I know the commencement best. Gentlemen, when I regard carefully the inconstancy of the world and its vicissitudes; when I see among so many men not one star that is fixed, and so many that wander; when I behold the Cesars and their fortunes; when I see the sun, and when I gaze at the moon; when I see the states of the Babibonians transferred from the Serpents to the Nacedonians; when I see the Lorrains pass from the dapotie state to the damocrite, and then to the monarchic; when I see Japan — Intime. When will he have seen all? Little John. Oh! why did that fellow interrupt me-? I will say no more. Dandin. Impertinent counsellor, why did you not let him finish his period? I have sweat blood and water here, to see if he would come safely from Japan to the fact of this capon, and you interrupt him with fiivolous remarks! Advocate, proceed. Little John. I have forgotten my speech. Leander. Finish, Little John. It is an excellent debut. But, what are your arms doing there by your side? Come, a little more animation. Brighten up. You stand there like a statue, Little John, moving his arms. When - I see- -when - I see - Leander. Tell us what you. see. Little John. Bless me! one does not hunt two hares at a time. Prompter. We readLittle John. We readPrompter. In theLittle John. In thePrompter. Metamorphose. Litlle John. In what? Prompter.. That the MetemLittle John. That the MetemPrompter. Psycose - Little John. Psycose - Prompter. Ah! the brute I Little JTohn. Ah! the brutePrompter. Again! Little John. Again - Prompter. The dog I Little John. The dog THEf SUITOXS. 27 Prompter. The dolt! Little John. The doltPrompter. A plague on the advocate! Little John. A plague on yourself. See the fellow with his woe begone countenance! Dandin. Aud you, Sir, come to the facts. A word on the facts. Little John. I say, why beat about the bush in this way? I am made to use words a fathom long, and huge expressions that would reach from here to Pouloise. For my own part, I see no need of so much ceremony in order to say that a dog took a capon. The whole case is, that your dog took, below there, and devoured, a good capon of the Maine, and the first time I catch him there again, I will knock his brains out, and thus end his suit. Leander. Fine conclusion; well worthy the exordium! Little John. It is well understood; let who will, find fault with it. Dandin. Call the witnesses. Leander. Very well, if he can do it; but witnesses are very dear, and there are none that are willing to testify. Little John. We have them however, that are above reproach. Dandin. Bring them forward. Little John. I have them in my pocket. Here they are- the head and feet of the capon. Look at them and decide. Intime. I object to the testimony. Dandin. Well, what is the objection? Intime. They are from the Maine, if the court please. Dandin. True, they come from there by the dozen. Intime. Gentlemen -,Dandin. Advocate, shall you be long? Tell me. Intime. I make no answer to the question; Dandin. That is in good faith. Intime, in a tone ending in falsetto. Gentlemen, all that can astonish the guilty, all that mortals have of the most formidable, seem by chance to be here assembled against us; I speak of eloquence and intrigue. For on the one hand, the reputation of the dead excites me, and on the other, the brilliant eloquence of solicitor. Little John dazzles me. Dandin. Advocate, soften your tone of voice, if you please. Intime, in an ordinary tone. Yes, indeed I I have several of them. But (in ain elevated tone) whatever distrust that eloquence and that,reputation are calculated to inspire, the anchor of your goodness, gentlemen, reassures us. And moreover, before the great Dandin, 28 THE SUITORS. innocence is bold; yes, if it please the court, before this Cato of Lower Normandy, this sun of equity, which is never tarnished. VICTRIX CAUSA DILs PLACUIT, SED VICTA CATONI. [The cause of the victor pleased the Gods, but that of the vanquished pleased Cato.] Dandin. Truly, he pleads well. 1istime. Fearing nothing, then, I come at once to my case. ARISTOTE, PRIMO PERI POLITICAN, very well says — Dandin. The court will take the liberty to remind the learned counsel, that the case before us relates to a capon, and not to Aristotle or to his politics. Intime. True, but if your honor please, the authority of the peripatetician would prove that good and evil — -Dandin. I maintain that here Aristotle j.o$.yathority. To the facts. Intime. Pausanias, in those Corinthiaques —,Dandin. T'o the point. Intimne. Repulse - Dandin. Come to the facts, I say. ntimse. The great James —.Dandin. Oh! to the point; to the facts. Intime. Hermanopol, IN PROMPTDandin. Oh! I must pronounce judgment. Intime. Ah! your honor is so hasty! Here are the facts. (Ile speaks rapidly.) A dog comes into the kitchen; sees there a fine capon. My client is famished; the opposite party is picked. My client slyly takes away the opposite party. A warrant is issued. My client is arrested. Counsel are assigned; a day is set. I was to speak; I speak; I have spoken. (Veni, vidi, vici.).Dandin. That will do. A fine explanation of the case. He speaks very sedately about that with which we have nothing to do, but jumps at full gallop when he comes to the facts. Intime. B3t the first, your honor, is the lofty. )Dandin. Tt is the ugly. Did any one ever speak in that style before? What say the audience? Leander. It is quite in fashion, if the court rlhase. lIztime, in a vehement tone. What happens, gentlemen? They come. How do they come? They pursue my client. They break open a hose. What house is it? The house of our own judge, gentlemen. They break into the very room that shelters us. We are denounced as thieves and robbers. We are dragged forth, delivered to our accusers —to Sergeant Little John, gentlemen. I THE SUITORS. -9 attest it all. And who knows not that the law, St qIns oANIS, (if _- dog,) see Digest, DE VI, (on violence._aragrapE,__~s manifestly against this-ab ue? nd although it may be true, gentlemen, that Citron, my client, may have devoured the whole or the greater part of the aforesaid capon, yet what we have done before that act should be allowed A a set-off. When was my client ever reprimanded? By whom has your honor's own house been guarded? When have we failed to bark at thieves? For instance, the three attorneys whose robes this same Citron tore. The pieces may now be seen. Are other documents needed for our vindication? Little John. Master AdamIntitme. Let us alonle. Little John. IntimeIntime. Do not interrupt us. Little John. Has talked himself hoarse.?Itihne. Oh, leave us alone! Euh! Eull! (Out of breath.) iDandin. Conclude and take breath, counsellor. Intime, in a heavy voice. Since then we are allowed to take breath, and are not allowed to enlarge, I will proceed without omitting anything, without prevarication and in a conlpendious form, to state, exhibit and explain to your view the universal idea of my case, and the facts embraced in the same. Dandin. You can state the whole case twenty times over, sooner than you can abridge it once. Man, or whatever you are, conclude I (Dry zip.) Intimne. I close. Dandin. Ah! Intimne. Before the world was bornDandain, yawning. O advocate, let us pass on to the deluge. Intime. Before the nativity of the world, then, and before its creation, the world, the universe, all, entire nature, was buried under the mass of matter. The elements - earth, air, fire and water, crushed together, piled up, constituted only a heap, a confusion, a mass without form, a disorder, a chaos, one enormous rout. T3Nis BRAT TOTO NATUR.E VULTUS IN ORBa', QUEM DIXERE CHxAOS RUDIS INDIGESTAQUE MALES. [ The face of nature was a rude, indigested, unziform mass, called choas.] ( audi asleep, falls from his scat.) Leander. Father! what a fall! Little John. Ay, Sir, how he sleeps. Leander. Father, wake up! Little John. Is your honor dead? 30 WTHE SUITORS. Leander. My father! iDandie. O, ah! well! what? What is here? Ah, what a man I I never slept so well before, certainly. Leander. Father, it is necessary to pass sentence. 1Dandin. To the galleys, then! Leander. A dog to the galles?.Dandin. My faith! I no more comprehend anything. My head is troubled with worlds and chaos. Oh! conclude your address. Intime, presenting him some pulps. Come, desolate -family; come, poor infants, about to be ma-de orphans; come and let your infant minds give utterance.- men, gyou behold our misery. We are orphans; give us back our father. Dandin. Take them away! Away with them I Intime. Our father, gentlemenDandin. Away with them. What a tumult I i1ttimne. If it please the court, behold our tears. Dandin. Compassion already takes hold of me. *What a thing it is to touch the passions properly I am greatly embarassed. The truth oppresses fmie; the crime is charged and is even confessed. But the embarassment is equal if he is con(lemled; there are many children reduced to the hospital. But I am occupied and cannot be seen by any one. Exit, PROMPTER; enter, CHlCANEAU and ISABELLE. Chwcaneau. Your honorDandin. Yes, court is ol)en for you only. Adieu-but who is that you ng lady, if you please? Chicaneau. It is my daughter, Sir. Dandin. Ah! quick, call her back. isabelle. Your honor is occupied. )ancdin. Mle! I have no affair on hand. (To Chicaneau.) Why did you not tell me you was her father? Chicaneamt. If the court pleaseDandin. She knows your affair better than you. Say —but she is pretty; and what soft eyes I That is not all, my daughter; wisdomn is necessary. I am all joy to see this youthfulness. Are you aware that I was a gay young man formerly? They have talked of uS. Isabelle. Ah l- Sir, I believe you. I)andin. Tell us: who would you like to make lose his case? Isabelle. Not any one. TEB SUITORS. 3-.Dandin. Speak; I will do everything for you. I.sabelle. I am under too much obligation to your honor..Dandin. Have you ever seen one put to the torture? Isabelle. No; and believe I shall not during my life. rDandin. Come, I will satisfy you on that point. Isabelle. 0! Sir; how can one see the unfoitunate suffer?.Dandin. Indeed, it is always a pastime for an hour or two. Chicaneau. Sir, I came here to say to youLeander. Father, I will relate the whole affair to you in two words. Matrimony is the subject. And first you should knom that everything is arranged, an.d now all depends upon you. The lady wishes it; the lover sighs for it: and what the lady longs for, the father also desires. It is for you to judge. Dandin, taking his seat. Marry as soon as possible. To-morrow if you wish; to-day if it be necessary. Leander. Come, Madamoiselle; there is your father-in-law.. Salute him, (pointing to Dandin.) Chicaneau. How is this? Dandin. What is the mystery? Leander. What you have said, do, point for point. Dandin. Since I have passed sentence I shall not reverse my own judgment. Chicaneau. But a young lady is not given away without her consent. Leander. Doubtless; and in that I will trust to the charming Isabelle. Chicaneau. Are you silent? Come, it is for you to speak, Speak. Isabelle. I dare not, father, appeal firom the decree. Chieaneau. But I appeal from it; I do. Leander, shouwing him a paper. Do you see this writing? You, will not appeal from your own signature, Chicaneau. What is that? Leander. It is a contract, all in the best form. Chicaneau. I see I have been deceived; but I will have my revenge. This will be the source of more than twenty law-suits. He has the daughter; be it so: he will not have the purse. Leander. 0, Sir! who says we have asked anything of you? Leave us your daughter, and keep your goods. Chicaneau. Ah! Leander. Father, are you pleased with the session? :32 T'H E SUI T OlRS. IDandin. Indeed I am. Let us have a plenty of suits, and Iwith you will pass the rest of my days. But let counsel be more brief in future. And our criminal? Leander. Let us speak only of joy. Pardon! father. We beg your pardon. Dandin. Well, well.'Let him *be discharged. What I do, daugllter.in-law, is for your' sake. Let us go and rest, to lbe ready for other trials. (6Curtain falls.) THE END.