............................~ ~~~~~~~~:::::y~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~...................~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-iii~iii......................................... ~   ~::j............................~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~i:............~~~




L I F 
AND
WRITINGS
OF
GRANT THORBURN:
PREPARED BY HIMSELF.
NEW YORK:
EDWARD  WALKER,
114 FULT QN-STREET,
1852.




Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1851,
BY EDWARD WALKER,
In the Clerk's Office of the District C6urt of the United States for the Southern
District of New York.




PUBLISHER'S NOTICE.
IT is with sincere pleasure I present this volume to
the public, believing its perusal cannot fail of proving
eminently interesting and instructive; while as an
illustration of Divine Providence in human affairs, it
will be regarded as strikingly peculiar and impressive.
As an autobiography, it is full of incident, and its details are presented in a simple and lucid style, which
invests the narrative with great attractive interest.
One feature which characterizes the present work, and
which is indeed its great charm, is the prevailing tendency of its author to recognize in the various vicissitudes of life, the indications of Divine Providence.
The portraiture of a man's life whose aims and actions
are governed by Christian principles, while it presents a
noble example for imitation, enlists the sympathies,
and exerts a powerful influence on the heart of the
reader. It- is true there is little of heroism  in the
simple narrative of the Life of Mr. Grant Thorburn,
but there is much of moral greatness evinced in his
persevering adherence to principle, and much of true




4                PUBLIrHerS NOTICE.
nobility of character in his successful triumphs over
adverse circumstances. The political prowess of the
statesman, and the military renown of the chieftain,
sink into comparative insignificance when once compared with the simple story of a life consecrated to the
cause of truth. The life of such a man is a benison to
his race, and its memorial
Smells sweet and blossoms in the dust;




CONTENTS.
PAGZ.
INTBODUCTION............................................................  9
CHAPTER I.
WHERE AND WHEN I WAS BORN. -EARLY IMPRESSIONS.-MOTHERS'
DEATH, AND MOTHEBR'B  GRAVE-THE HEART-BURN. —MY FALL —
MoTmxR-wiT. —GsIPEY.-THE DU'ieS PATr...........................    11
CHAPTER II.
OCEAN VOYAGE —ARRrVAL IN NEW YORL —FIRST NIGHT ON SHORE.MY BBL. —GOING TO WORL —I SEE A MAIDEN...................... 16
CHAPTER III.
AN EMBARGO.-MORE ABOUT THE MAIDEN.-A FUNERAL LEADING TOWARDS A WEDDING.-NEW BOARDING-PLACE.-I TURN TEACHER.NICE sCHOLAB.......................................      21
CHAPTER IV.
GOING TO CHURCH.-BAPTISM  OF REBECCA.-THE DECLARATION.MORNING WALK.-ALL BUT.-A RIVAL IN THE WAY.-THAT SIGH.THE FIRST EISSMEETING THE RIVAL —-RIC S AGAINST LOVE. —
LOVE WINS THE FAIR.-SHOOTING OR. DROWNING..................... 27
CHAPTER V.
BIRDS WITHOUT A' NEST.-A BACHELOR CONVERTED. —THE DISAPPOINTED.-MY REBECCA BECOMES MY WIFE.-A QUIET WEDDING.HOUSEKrEPING BEGUN...............................................    85




6                        CONTENTS.
CHAPTER VI.
THE DISAPPOINTED RIVAL LOADS HIS PISTOLS.-PREFERS MARRYING
THE FIRST GIRL HE MEETS.-DOES SO.-DIES.-HIS WIDOW, DAUGHTER, AND MY BOYS.-NOT TO BE.......................................... 89
CHAPTER VII.
OPENING A STORE.-REBECCA SEWS AND I SELL.-]EVENINGS AT HOME.
-YELLOW FEVER.-MOTHER OF REBECCA FLIES.-OUR FIRST-BORN.
-PALE HORSE.-SCENES IN THE FEVER SUMMER.-DR. DINGLEY.ROBERT HOE........................................................    44
CHAPTER VIII.
DEATH OF MY WIFE.-SECOND MARRIAGE.-ANECDOTE OF MR. VAN
HOOK.-GROCERY BUSINESS.-SEEDS AND PLANTS.i-NARROW ESCAPE
BY FIRE.-ANOTHER CHANGE................................................. 59
CHAPTER IX.
A SCENE AT SEA.-JOURNEY TO THE BAY STATE IN JUNE, 1829......   75
CHAPTER X.
PURCHASE THE FRIENDS' MEETING-HOUSE AND GROUNDS.-INSTANCE OF
SPECIAL PROVIDENCE.-THOMAS PAINE.-ANECDOTE OF HIM.-HIS
NARROW ESCAPE FROM EXECUTION IN FRANCE.-EFFECTS OF INFIDELITY IN FRANCE. GENERAL MOREAU.................................  95
CHAPTER XI.
JOURNEY TO ALBANY.-THE GENESEE GIRL AND HER LITTLE RED
BOOK ON HER JOURNEY OVERLAND TO ALBANY: A STORY NOT FOUNDED ON, BUT ALL FACT.................................................. 109
CHAPTER XII.
REFLECTIONS ON BOARD A STEAMBOAT.-DR. G(RAHAIS ADDRESS.BLACK HAWK'S REPLY.-ARRIVAL AT BOSTON.-DIGRESSION.NEW YORK FORTY YEARS AGO.-OLD TIMES........................... 116




CONTN.                            7
CHAPTER XIII.
A WrEEK IN BOSTON -REFLECTIONS ON PRESENT STATE OF SOCIETY.... 180
CHAPTER XIV.
INTERVIEW WITH THE EDITOR OF THE SUBALTERN NEWSPAPER. —-EFFECTS OF INFIDELITY.-HISTORY OF WILLIAM.-A VISIT FROM HIM. 145
CHAPTER XV.
CORRESPONDENCE BETWEEN THOMAS PAINE AND WILLIA  C~aVE.... 154
CHAPTER XVI.
DEATH OF THOMAS PAINE.-FREE-THINKING...............................    170
CHAPTER XVII.
MR. AND MRS. E...... —A PLANT REMOVED. —MY OPINION OF THEATRES.-OF RELIGIOUS HYPOCRISY.-A. BOOKSELLER, AND THE SON
OF  A  BOOKSELLER............................................................ 19
CHAPTER XVIII.
ACQUAINTANCE WITH WILLIAM  COBBETT.-SUCCESS OF EMIGRANT
SCOTCHMEN.-REMARKS ON FORMS OF GOVERNMENT.-ON EMIGRATION IN GENERAL.-AN ANECDOTE. —" APARTMENTS TO LET."....... 188
CHAPTER XIX.
A FEW REFLECTIONS FROM SIXTY YEARS' OBSERVATIONS IN AMERICA.PARTICULAR PROVIDENCE SHOWN IN THE NATIONAL AFFAIRS OF
AMERICA.-CONCLUDING INSTANCE OF SAME TO MYSELF................ 198,
APPENDIX....................................      216








WORDS INTRODUCTORY.
I HAVE thought it the duty of every member of the
body politic to do all in his power to promote the wellbeing of those among whom he lives, moves, and has
his being; I have thought, too, it is the duty of the
elder to hand down to the younger generation the
amount of their experience, that thereby they may see
and avoid the rocks on which they have split. I also
think that many of the sober realities in my life are
so checkered with the appearance of romance and fiction, that if put on record fifty years hence, some facts,
which now speak for themselves, might then appear
like fiction. For instance, if I live to see the eighteenth day of February next,.I will then enter on my
eightieth year. Now, my health is as good, my personal feelings as comfortable, mind, memory, and hearing as clear as when in my twenty-fifth year; and I
verily believe I can walk as far and as fast as at any
former period of my life. Now, if an5y doubt this fact,
they may come and see me. Does any ask, And how
do you live? I answer: I never was once drunk in
my life, and I never eat over enough —eating too
hearty only makes work for the doctor and the gravedigger. Besides, as I have drank so much more deep
in the cup of pleasure than from the cup of pain, I
1*




10            WORDS INTRODUCTORY.
think it is a debt I owe to the Giver of all Good that
the world should know it; *my crosses were merely
sufficient to give a double relish to the pleasures
which followed.
As so many extracts and mutilated parts of my history (mixed with fiction) have appeared in Galt's Laurie Todd, in. magazines, reviews, and criticisms, I think
I owe it to the public, and to myself, to give a plain,
unvarnished statement of facts.
My long and checkered life is summed up in two
or three sections. I have made two fortunes and lost
them (and that is more than most men can boast of),
but it was neither by speculation, gambling, laziness,
nor riotous living; of myself or children, but merely by
the act of God (as the Coroner denominates his dead
subject); therefore, it never lost me an hour's sleep.
The revolving machinery which produced these results
will form matter for a dozen chapters. These few
remarks may suffice as a preface, or an introduction,
or call it what you please, to the forthcoming story.
I would merely remark, in conclusion, I am now in
the full tide of successful experiment (as friend Jefferson said of our model republic fifty years ago); by
the good wishes of kind friends, I have got a job in
Uncle Sam's workshop. My renovated body is competent for the duties of mny office, and, thank lIGod, I
can live by head and hand-work, though now nearly
fourscore. Much rather would I work for nothing,
and find myself, than be paid for sitting idle, and be
fed sumptuously evers day.
Niw Yoam; October 1st, 1851.




LIFE AND WRITINGS
OF
GRANT THORBURN.
CHAPTER I.
WHERE AND WHEN I WAS BORN.-EARLY IMPRESSIONS. —MOTHER:S DEATH,
AND MOTHER'S GRAVE.-THE HEART-BURN.-MY FALL.-MOTHER-WIT. —
GIPSEY.-THE DUKE'S PARTY.
MY life has, been a series of so many strange occurrences, that when I look back it seems as if I had
been a mere machine, without any.will of my own.
I was born in Dalkeith, near Edinburgh, on the eighteenth day of February, 1773.  My father was poor
(some are cursed with rich fathers)-honest and industrious, and by trade a wrought-nail maker.' He
was a very strict Scotch Presbyterian, a Covenanter,
and, like his neighbor and prototype, Davie, the father
of Jenny Deans-an ionest man! Our cottage stood
within two miles of Davie Deans' farm, and within
three of the Laird of Dumbiedike's mansion. Those
who have read Scott's novel, "The Heart of Mid-Lothian," one of his best productions, will understand
what I mean.
The first scene impressed on my memory was the
death of my mother. I was two years and six months




12            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
old at the time; I remember nothing of her caresses,
countenance, or person. I remember nothing of her
funeral; I only remember I saw her gentle bosom
heave its last sigh. Sixty-two years thereafter, I stood
at the foot of her undisturbed grave, in the lonely
church-yard of a solitary glen in Scotland, and there
I communed with her ransomed spirit; for she lived
the life of the righteous, and her latter end was like
his.
I was neglected and ill-treated by my father's housekeeper, in consequence of which I lost the use of my
limbs, and not having exercise, I became weak and
sickly; and when in my tenth year I was not as large
as most. children are at five. But in this, as in all
which to me seemed troubles and misfortmnes at the
tipe, they were only blessings in disguise. For instance, in my father's family for generations past, was
an hereditary disease, termed, in Scotland, the heartburn-a  sore evil under the sun. I, only, of all the
family, never felt its effects. I have thought that the
extraordinary cures employed to keep my feeble frame
and soul together was the means of eradicating the disease. I also think it gave me, as it were, a new constitution; for, during the fifty-six years I have lived in
New York, I was only one day confined to my house
by sick ess. In this period the yellow fever prevailed
seventeen summers, and the cholera three, but I never
left the city yet. Neither I, my wife, nor any of my
children, were ever visited by any of these plagues.
To be sure, one day in 1798-it was on the twenty-second of September —Death on the Pale Horse stood for
a moment and stopped pa/wing in front of my door, but,




GRANT THORBURN.             13
seeing the mark of protection on the door-posts and lintels, he did not enter. He in the same hour entered
(the door being open) the second house from mine.
Here he struck, his dart in the heart of Dr. Dangly, an
eminent physician, and, that night, he slept with his
fathers.
Now, was I not in duty bound to observe the Thanksgiving day on the 12th of December  I was; and to
keep a Thanksgiving in my heart all the days of my
life.
I return to my seventh year. Being unable to walk,
I sat on a low bench by the chimney-corner-a small,
insignificant remnant of mortality: here I saw and
learned much of human nature, and somewhat of 3kother- Wit-a commodity which I have found useful on
many occasions. My elders never thought that the
mind grows faster in the dwarf than in the giant;'and
these children of a larger growth (thinking I had lost
my eyes and my ears as well as my feet) played " such
fantastic tricks before high heaven as made the angels
weep." People are apt to forget that children can see
and reason before they can speak. Suffice it to say,
that long before I knew my A B 0, I had learned the
whole mystery of "ni2pping cand scarting" —Scotch
folk's wooing. (Anglais: pinching and scratching, a
Scotch mode of courting.)
In my eighth year, the doctors having emptied their
boxes of pills and vials of elixirs in vain attempts to
strengthen my feeble frame, a Gipsey one day entered
our dwelling, requesting something to eat (a request
never denied by even the poorest in Scotland). She
was a comely matron, with a Bible in her arms, and




14:            LIFE ANOD WRIIGS OF
might have seen thirty summers. Iaving eaten her
food with a merry heart, and when about to depart, my
figur drew he attention, as I sat by the fire. She
examined my palm, predicting good luck, and advised
my father to have me transported to the top of the' Roman Cainp-an exceedingly high mountain near by,
and so caled fiom  the fact that Julius Cesar pitched
his tents there. I was lodged in a thatched cottage on
the top of this hill, and was sent out every evening
after sundown to gather half a pint of small shell
t  U'~)s, which abound on that iull, and who leave their
caverns at sunset to feast on the dews of the night.
They were  leansed with water from the spring, and
next morning boiled with three pints of milktfresh from
tle cow;  thi's with oatime'a porridge, was my fod,
morning, noon, and night. It was very palatable.
I eow grew (under this Gipsey's prescription), if- not
in stature, in he ith, strength, and spirits, and what I
lost in height I gained in amlitionl. The taunts of the
wee odie from imy companioins at play or at school,
firedn my soul to equal or srpass the oldest and tallest
among them, and in this: I genoerally succeeded.
I re nmember a trifle which occurred in my fourteenth
year, on which I still look back with fear and trembling.
On that day the eldest son of the Duke of Bucclteah had
comnpleted his twenty-first year, and notice was givew:
thiatf the gates would be opened for an hour to adilnit
the inhabitants of the village (Dalkeith) to see the ftuin
I was detained, nd just; as I arrived the gate was skhit.
I thougoht of the five foolish virgiuns; soon a dozen more
disappointed ones arrived; we were all in the sanme
predicauent. A council was held, and I proposed to




GRANT THORBURN.             15
scale the walls —some hundred feet from the gate-it
being the most accessible point, and it was some ten
feet high, with a stone fence plastered outside, and as
smooth as glass. Arriving at the spot, the hearts of
my companions failed; none would take the dangerous
leap. (Most of them were ten years older, and some
were two feet taller.) I said I would go alone. Two
of the strongest raised me on the shoulders of two of
the tallest; I clutched the top-stone, and drew myself
up. I now bethought me of the dangers which beset
iny path —spring-guns and man-traps for poachers,
were strewed as thick as leaves in autumn-to advance
might be death; to retreat and be laughed at, I thought
(for a moment) would be as bad; so I dropped at once,
and lit on a mountain of dry leaves which the winter
winds had blown in the ditch, inside of the stone dyke.
Being light, I bounced up like a cork, and, guided by
the light of the fire-works, I ran through trees, springguns and man-traps, reaching the goal in safety.
Thank God, who, despite my madfolly, preserved
my thoughtless steps. The present Duke is the eldest
son of him who that day came of age. On a visit to
my father in 1834, he sent me a note, wishing. to see
me at the palace next day, at eleven o'clock, A. M.
The Duke, Duchess, and myself, spent a pleasant hour
together, reviewing "The days o' auld lang syne."




16            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
CHAPTER II.
OCEAN VOYAGE.-ARRIVAL IN NEW YORK.-FIRST NIGHT ON SHORE. —-MY
BIBLE.-GOING TO WORK.-I SEE A MAIDEN.
WHEN contemplating a voyage across the Atlantic,the thought of being three months idle was a terror to
my mind.. However, I soon found employment enough.
Having been four days\out, and got over the sea-sickness, we began to think about something to eat. The
captain, with the list of steerage passengers in his band,
called over the roll, and every seventh man was selected as head of the mess. His duties were, to receive
from the mate, on Monday morning, the biscuit for the
week, and divide it in seven equal shares, giving to
every man his due; and to receive daily from the cook
the boiled beef and potatoes for dinner, for himself and
mess. I was a seventh on the list, and thus I had
something to do, besides assisting the cook in the caboose and the steward in the cabin, by which I lived
sumptuously every day, dining on roast pig and fowls
with these two worthy subordinates, while my fellow*assengers in'the steerage were chewing junk beef and
hard biscuit. Thus time passed pleasantly.
On the 16th of June, we came to anchor in the East
River. New York made a sorry appearance in those
days: Jhe stores were all frame buildings, covered with
shingles, one only excepted; it was owned by Gover



GRANT TH0RBOUR.             17
neur and Kimble, and was built of brick. The city
contained about sixty thousand inhabitants. Three
steeples were all that could be seen from the water,
viz, Old Trinity, the Middle Dutch (now the PostOffice), and St. George's Chapel, in Beekman street:
St. Paul's was just being erected, that summer.. They
gave him a new outside coat, lately, but his inner man,
or heavy timbers, were set up in 1794. The old City
Hotel was building at the same time, and was the first
roof covered with slates in America.
My first night on shore was passed at No. 8 Dutch
street (now Colgate's factory). It was a small' frame
building, with a miserable, low-roofed garret, covered
with shingles. It was a hot night (17th of June), the
garret was alive with fleas, flies, bugs, and musquitoes,
and I could not sleep. Midnight commenced with a
tremendous storm; the thunder i-olled, the winds blew,
and the rain beat on that roof; and as my head lay
within eighteen inches of the shingles, and it was the
first time I had heard rain fall on a shingle roof, I knew
not what it meant. Such blazing of lightning, such
rattling of thunder, as I had never heard in Scotland fr
I thought heaven and earth were contending, and I lay
there in great bodily fear, and wished myself at home
again.
In fifty minutes this war of the elements had ceased:
but fear had driven sleep from mine eyes. I arose a
daylight, sore in person and depressed in spirits, with
a headache to crown the whole. Not liking to disturb
the family at an hour so early, and to pass away the
time, I unpacked my bo     o
tion of reading, but to sE  ierr_     abol1n ve




18           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
them the air; for they had been thirteen weeks in the
hold of the vessel, and I opened them merely to see if
the paper was mildewed by long and damp confinement. I happened to take a small pocket Bible which
had been placed on the top by the hand of my pious
father. I was thinking of him who placed this best of
books where it must draw my first attention, when
mine eye lit on the words, " My son." I fancied my
father spoke. I read on, more and more interested by
every verse, till I came to the end. On looking up,
I found1 I had been reading the third chapter of Proverbs.
Now, reader, take up your Bible, and imagine yourself in my situation, a boy of twenty, yet a child in
appearance, and, as regards men and manners, a babe;
for never, till our ship weighed anchor, had I been
twenty miles from the cottage of my birth, without a
friend to counsel or direct, and here I was, with funds
reduced to three English coppers; but happily, I was
engaged to work. I presume you have read the chapter. I know not what you think, but I thought, had a'scroll, written within and without, been blown from
the clouds, through the open garret bedroom, containing the words of that chapter, I could not more have
looked on it as an immediate message from heaven.
Be this.as it may, it revived my sinking soul, drove
rain from my bones, and the aching from my head.
I grasped my hammer and went forth with a light
heart to commence a new career, resolving to take the
Bible for my pilot, and this chapter for my chart.
My, hand now rests on this self-same little Bible from
whence I read this my first chapter in America. On




GRANT THORBuRN.             19
the second day after landing, I went to work. Blow
ing up the fire with the bellows, and hammering redhot iron, during that hot weather, I thought was more
than flesh and blood could endure. I therefore resolved
that, as soon as I could save money enough to pay my
passage, I would return to Scotland. You will see, in
the sequel, that the plan I was following to take me
out of the country was the means which Providence
employed to keep me in it.
One morning, about four o'clock (as I was paid by
the hour, I rose thus early that I might the sooner earn
my passage-money), while crossing Broadway at a quick
pace, on my way to the workshop, I perceived a young
woman coming along in the opposite direction. We
met at the corner of Liberty-street and Broadway.
Ahe turned the corner, and pursued her course towards
the Battery. I stood looking after her a'few minutes,
and wondering in my heart what should occasion a
young woman so well dressed to be abroad so early.
At this period the dress of a young woman consisted
of a long, flowing robe, drawn together and tied around
the neck with a silk cord, and also around the waist
with a ribbon, terminating in a long trail, or train,
such as you have seen in paintings of the Goddess of
Liberty. I thought then, and I think so now, that that
costume was more becoming the female form than any
other fashion for the last fifty years. On a tall, slent
der person, it looked elegant. In those days there
were no straight jackets of whalebone, buckram, steel
springs and hickory splinters, to distort, torment, and
deform their handsome persons.
My early favorite was tall, as straight as an arrow,




20            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
and walked with a slow and measured step, like a
sentry before the tent of his general; her hair was
flaxen, her countenance pale, sedate, and thoughtful;
on her cheek was a faint blush. In short, I thought
she was the most perfect specimen of female grandeur I
had ever beheld. We met on the same spot, and at
the same early hour, three mornings in succession —
she turning her steady steps towards the Battery, and I
gazing after her, wondering what could arouse the
gentle maiden so early. I' shortly after met her in company.




GRANT THORBURN.              21
CHAPTER  III.
AN EMBARGO. —MORE ABOUT THE MAIDEN.-A FUNERAL LEADING TOWARDS A
WEDDING. —NEW BOARDING-PLAOE.-I TURN TEACHER.-MNIOE SOHOLAR.
I REMARED: that the means I was pursuing-viz.,
rising early-to earn money to take me out of the
country, were the means which Providence employed
to keep me in it.  Had I not risen at halfpast three
A. m.5 I would not have met the young woman in Broadway at four. She laid an embargo on me, which
Uns not been removed, though fifty-six summers are
X and fifty-six harvests are ended, since her person
first met my admiring eyes. Seeing her approach on
the second morning, at the same minute, I thought it
was like witchcraft. On the third morning I looked
-for her, and behold she was there. She had yet a
hundred feet to tread before turning the corner. I
quickened my pace, and, on passing, gave her as sharp
a look A  I could, without infringing on common
decency. I read care, delicate health, and a tinge of
melancholy in her meek eyes. Retracing my steps, I
took my stand at the corner. As I watched her figure
receding from my view, I communed with my heart as
follows: "Poor girlt something wrong disturbs thy
pweet repose, and sends thee forth tq sweep the mornIng dew. I wish I were a brothe0r a cooin, that I
might know and share thy trouble. From thy countenance it is evident thy health is delicate; and from




22           LIEE AND WRITINGS OF
thy dress, I presume thou must be one of those sewinggirls, with no home, about whom I hear the young
men converse; and, no doubt, thou art going ta walk
an hour on the Battery for the benefit of thy health,
before commencing the labors of the day." Some
months thereafter, when we met on speaking terms, I
found every word of my conjectures true to the letter.
I missed her on the fourth morning. She appeared on
the fifth. So we met and passed alternately for a
month.
One afternoon, about this period, I saw a hearse in
front of the house next to my workshop. Not having
seen a funeral in this country, I stopped to see how it
was conducted.  In a few minutes the coffin was
brought forth, followed by a comely matron, who might
have seen forty summers; behind her stood this so
same flaxen-haired maiden whom I had met so often'
Broadway. I gave a start at the sight of her countenance, for, by her sable robe and falling tears, I saw
she was deeply interested in that funeral, and therefore an inmate of that house. But how it came to
pass that I had never seen her going out nI-coming
in, was a mystery too deep for my comprehe'lon, for
I had been at work three months in the house adjQining%
" Whose funeral is it a?" I asked of a neighbor.
" It is the husband of that matron, and the father
that young woman."
"What sort of people are they a?" I inquired.
"Poor, but respectable," says he. " The father had
been long sick fro    effects of exposure in the camp,
with Washington, and heir chief support for twelve
months past has been the poor daughter, who sews for




GRANT THORBURN.            23
families, for which she receives thirty-one cents per
dav."  A hard lot, thinks I.
Some two weeks after this period, the people with
whom my brother and myself boarded were removing
to the country, and we found some difficulty in procuring board to our liking. Our landlady was to remove at ten o'clock on Saturday morning, and at four
o'clock on Friday afternoon I knew not where I might
pillow my head on Saturday night. While my hand
was on the anvil, my thoughts were traversing the
dwellings in our neighborhood, viewing them in rotation. The late funeral stood prominent. Says I to
myself, "' Here, next door, dwell the new-made widow
and her daughter. Fame says they are respectable,
though poor. Poor folks must shift for a living: per-* the widow will board my brother and myself, to
i pay house-rent, etc. The daughter is of age; the
father is just gone; one pillow may serve for mother
and daughter; so a couch will remain whereon we-may
stretch our weary limbs."
While thus ruminating, James Powell stepped into
our shop. His family occupied the basement, and the
widow and daughter the attic. I told him my surmises about the widow, and asked him if he thought
she would board us. He said he would mention it to
her that night, and inform us the next morning. I
told him to say that we would pay five dollars per
week, and split wood and bring water for her. He
returned with a favorable answer, and the next day we
dined with the mother, and took tea with the daughter
in the evening..
After tea her mother went to meeting, and my




24           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
brother to see a friend. I was unwilling to leave the
daughter alone. While clearing the tea-table, in the
act of wiping the outside of a platter, a sigh, from the
depths of the soul, escaped through her lips.
" What means that sigh, Rebecca?" I asked.
" I sigh," she replied, "when I think of my ignorance. I was born on the day Lord Howe.entered
New York. My parents followed Washington. We
were seven years in camp. I never was baptized, nor
do I know my letters."
Says I, " Rebecca, I'll teach you to read."
"Agreed!" she replied.
She was anxious to learn, and I was anxious that she
should do so; no wonder, therefore, that she progressed wonderfully. But I must here digress a little.
Fifty-six years ago, when I crossed the Atlantic, afi
fourteen weeks constant sailing, during many days of
which time we made twelve knots an hour, I verily believe we almost circumnavigated the globe. Be this as
it may, we got among the whales in Greenland. Some
score of our passengers had their feet frostbitten-I
being one of the unfortunate number, so that I was
obliged to land in New York in bare soles —being unable to wear shoes on my sore and wounded feet.
On the Sabbath, wishing to attend a house of prayer,
I followed an apparently church-going multitude, and
with them entered that venerable pile, the old Methodist Chapel in John street, the first place of public
worship erected by the Methodists in America. Seeing a young woman enter a pew, the second from the
door, I sat down by the side of her. Her head was
reclined on the book-board, and she was apparently




GRANT THORBURN.              25
sending her aspirations to Him who " heareth the cry
of the humble." Her devout posture made me anxious
to catch a glimpse of her face; but ere she raised her
head, the sexton, tapping me on the shoulder, whispered,*" You're in the wrong box, sir."  "It's not the
first time," said I; "but be good enough to show me
the right one." He then gave me a seat among the
gentlemen, where I found I had committed a blunder
in sitting among the ladies; but it was a natural instinct, perhaps. Fifty-six years ago, the Methodists
held this regulation as a matter of conscience: now,
they are not so shy of the ladies-nor need they be;
for I verily believe, that when the roll of the blessed is
called in heaven, seven women will muster there to one
man.
*]ut, to what tends this long digression? you may
ask. Simply to this-that among those ladies, where,
in my ignorance, I intruded my small carcass, sat this
same pale-faced maiden to whom I had the pleasant
task of teaching her A B C. Oft since that day, in my
waking dreams, have I indulged the thought that it was
she by whose side I sat when I first entered the house
of prayer in America. Certain it is, we both sang the
same hymn of praise, and knelt at the same altar; for
when, six months thereafter, we met on speaking terms,
we both remembered the name of the preacher, the
number of the hymn, and the text.'Now, I know not
whether it was galvanism, Mesmerism, or magnetic
sympathy; but of this I feel confident-that my guardian angel led me in.a way I knew not, and by paths
I had not trod, till he brought me under her humble
roof, and into the chamber of those who had nursed her.
2




26           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF'
But to return to our spelling-book-a pleasant, but
dangerous experiment. Sometimes, while bending over
the task, our heads almost in contact, she would lift
ner gentle, dove-like eyes to mine, and ask a question
which, from its simplicity, might have come from lips
of five years' growth; but the look was too much for
nmy equanimity.




GRANT THORBURN.               27
CHAPTER IV.
GOING TO CHURCH.-BAPTISM OF REBECCA. —THE DECLARATION.-MORNING
WAL. —ALL BUT.-A RIVAL IN THE WAY.-THAT SIGH.-THE FIRST KISS.MEETING THE RIVAL.-RICHES AGAINST LOVE,-LOVE WINS THE FAIR.SHOOTING OR DROWNING.
I OFTEN accompanied her to the chapel; and, when
asked, she would go with me to the Scotch kirk in Cedar street, of which Dr. J. M. Mason was pastor. He
was the most eloquent public speaker, at that time, in
America, and my pupil having frequently accompanied
me to his church, became a constant attendant, and
finally resolved to join the church. Not having been
baptized, it was necessary, before joining in the communion, that she should submit to that initiatory rite.
On the Friday night prior to the communion Sabbath,
therefore, after the preparatory lecture, she was baptized. That scene decided my fate.    2
I felt anxious to observe her conduct on that solemn
occasion; and, in order that I might note her every
movement, I entered the pew nearest the pulpit, on the
right hand of the minister. I watched her coming at
every opening of the church door; and at length she
entered.' She was dressed in half-mourning-her frock
of the purest white; a black beaver hat (the fashion at
that time); her neck encircled with a necklace of
black; her waist was bound with a black ribbon; and,
the night being wet, the train of her garment was hang



28            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
ing on her arm. With a measured step she walked up
the middle aisle, and sat down in the fourth pew from
the pulpit. The thought that, in one hour, the eyes of
the whole congregation would be fixed on her alone,
had brought a faint blush to her cheek; and, altogether,
I thought she had never looked so beautiful.
At the conclusion of the lecture, the preacher said,
in a loud voice, " Let the person who is to be baptized
present herself." She rose from her seat, and stood
before the altar; the forty burners of the brazen candlestick suspended over her head (no gas in those days)
threw a halo of light around her person, and one might
almost have imagined her to be an immortal from the
spheres, too refined to breathe our earthly air. While
the eyes of a thousand witnesses were upon her, and
the minister binding the vows about her heart, she
made the responses with the same sedate, collected, and
appropriate deportment, as if none but the eye of Omnipdotence was upon her.
While the minister was descending the stairs from
the pulpit (at that time fifteen steps from the floorj,
she was upt     the ribbon that fastened her bonnet.
There she stood, her hat in one hand, and a white muslin handkerchief in the other, and her neatly arranged
locks exposed to full view. As the minister dipped his
fingers in the silver vessel of the sanctuary, she closed
her eyes, and turned her face to heaven, while the water
streamed from her brow, and over her blushing theeks.
Her face, to me, shone as the face of an angel, and I
vowed in my heart that, if Heaven so willed, nothing
but death should part us.
We walked together on our way home (a short dis



GRANT THORBURN.              29
tance), her thoughts so occupied by the scene just past,
that she spoke not; and mine so filled with her image,
that my tongue clave to the roof of my mouth. We
entered our humble dwelling; a candle was burning on
a small pine table, and a looking-glass, twelve by sixteen, suspended on the wall. She laid her hat on the
table, and stood before the glass, arranging her headgear.
Either by accident or design, I stood a few feet behind, and, looking over her shoulders, feasted my eyes
on her lovely countenance. She read my soul in that
over-shoutlder look, and, suspending operations, turned
round.
At this moment, the extreme point of her long hair
was twisted among the slender fingers of the right hand,
while the same arm was extended to its full length,
with a comb in the left hand, stationary on the heada more interesting posture was never assumed by woman. Without changing her position, she rQmarked:
"Grant, under God, I have to thank you, as the instrument, for what I am this night. I now rank among
his followers."
I stated where I first saw her, and#le ways and
means that brought me under the roof where she dwelt,
and added, "Where thou dwellest, I will dwell; where
thou lodgest, I will lodge; thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God; nothing but death shall
part us, if it so wills Heaven.1'
While I spoke,'she. bent forward with a look of surprise, and when I ceased, she turned away with a sigh.
Ere I could ask what it meant, the door was opened,
and her mother entered. I had no opportunity to speak




30           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
with her that night, but the sigh still sounded in my
ears, and I am sure I would have slept better had I
never heard it. Next morning, I asked if she would
walk with me on the Battery that night.
She said, "I will go."
New York, at this period (1794), was like a village,
compared with its present appearance.  You could
walk from the City Hotel to the Battery, at nine
o'clock in the evening, and not meet a passer-by.
After supper we walked out together; as we reached
the first picket in the Trinity Church fence, I said:
" Rebecca, what caused that sigh, when I laid bare
my heart before thee last night 2"
She replied, " It was- caused by the thought of the
pain you would feel, when informed that I am courted,
and all but engaged."
"All but!" Had the " engaged" been,there alone,
without the "all but," it would have been a knockdown argument; but in this "all but" I found a hook
whereon to hang my hopes. We walked on for a minute without speaking. I was confounded. I had now
been months under the same roof, and had never seen
her receive4the least attention from any young man.
At last I said:
"Rebecca, who is the young man? I never saw you
in company with him, nor does he visit you at your
mother's house."
She replied, "'I sometimes sew for a week in one
family, and he waits upon me home, but never comes
up stairs; his name is Mr. Casteel, and he keeps a jewelry store on the corner of Liberty street and ]Broad.
way."




GRANT THORBURN.             31
"Does your mother know that you are all but engaged?"
"She does."
"Does she approve it?"
"She does."
Here I felt like giving up the ghost. I said:
"Rebecca, Mr. C. is a rich man, and owns two
houses and stores in Broadway, besides a well-filled
store of jewels, etc. How long have you been courted?"
" Nearly two years," she replied.
"And why are you not married?"
"I can't tell," she said.
I thought it would be easy to knock the bottom from
these slow and easy two-year courtships, and I resolved
to try. We now stood by the gate of Trinity Church.
Reflecting for a moment, I again broke silence.
"Rebecca, did the thought of giving me pain cause
you to sigh?"
I" It did."
Pity, thought I, is akin to love; so I raised my arm,
she bent her swan-like neck, and on that spot received
my first kiss. A full-orbed moon and the eye of Omnipotence alone witnessed that kiss.
On the following evening, while taking sweet counsel together on the Battery, we were met by Mr. Casteel. He must have taken the alarm, for next day he
waited upon the mother of my pupil, and said:
"Mrs. Sickles, I have courted your daughter nearly
two years, with your consent and hers. I wish to get
married next week. Moreover, if you will help me in
this, on the day of our marriage I will give you a bond
for three hundred dollars per annum, to be paid out of




32            LIFE AND WRIT'NGS OF
my estate, as long as you live. I will give your daughter any house i-n Broadway she may choose to live in,
and servants to wait on her."
The old lady replied, thanking him for his kind intentions, but added, "She is my only child. Money
will never tempt me to influence her in a matter of that
sort. Mlake your offer to her: if she accepts, well; but
if she prefers Grant and poverty to you and riches, I
have nothing to say."
The same evening, at tea, the mother, daughter, my
brother and myself only were present.  The mother
was a sprightly widow of forty-one, and knew more
about the amalgamation of hearts than either the
daughter or myself. She used to tease the daughter
about procuring a kissing-heneh,,seeing her beau lacked
two inches to complete five feet, etc. While filling the
cups and platters, she related (with some improvements,
perhaps), the visit, the exordium, and the ultimatum,
of Mr. Casteel. My brother laughed, the mother smiled,
the daughter blushed, and I felt like a fish thrown on
shore. After gathering my scattered senses, I said:
"Rebecca, I can't give your mother three hundred.
dollars per annum from my estate, seeing I have only
an estate of sin and misery to boast of; I can't give
you a house in Broadway; but, provided you enter
into partnership for life with me, I will find a nest for
you, and if it is rather small, we'll e'en sit the closer
Oither; I can't hire servants, but I will wait on you
myself; you shall neither hew wood nor draw water;
and there is an arm that shall work till it drops from
the shoulder, ere you shall suffer from lack of any comfort which money can command. This, with the heart




GRANT THORBURN.             33
of a true Scotchman, who never loved another, is all I
can offer you."
I must digress a little, to make plain the narrative.
I was born and reared in a secluded village. Except
at the kirk, I scarcely ever saw a young woman. In
my twenty-first year, when I left Scotland, I would
have been as much ashamed to be seen walking with a
girl of my own age, as if I had been detected in stealing a sheep. Rebecca was the only young woman with
whom I had spent ten minutes in private. This gave
a zest to her company and conversation few can appreciate.
Mir. Casteel was a rich merchant. At that time there
were not six men in New York of equal wealth. He
was a bachelor of thirty, and in personal appearance
fifty per cent. my superior. Rebecca was nineteen,
and I in my twenty-second. What was I, a stranger,
forging nails at one dollar per day, that I should contend for the hand of her who was sought for by the man
of seventy thousand? With Miie it mattered not; it
was a contest for life. Had he been emperor of all the
Russias, I could not have given her up without a struggle. I thought I must die, should I see her the wife of
another. Certain it is, I could not have remained in
New York. And now, having saved money enough to
pay my passage, I resolved to do my best; but,. if she
became the wife of another, on that day I would sail
for Scotland, there to murmur my regrets in my native
air.
Next day, Mr. C. made a tender of himself, his purse,
person, and property, to my pupil. She had not made
ep her mind. The offer was frequently repeated, but
2*




34            LIFIE AND WiT'rINGS OF
with no better success.  Had he done this twelve
months before, the prize would have been his own.
Now, fearing that his day of grace had passed, lie became partially deranged. I couldn't help that. As an
instance of, his madness, he once threatened to shoot
himself or me. I can't say that I had any very particular objection to his shooting himself, but I must
confess that I had no wish for. him to shoot me. He
declared he could not live, except she became his wife.
I thought I could not live except she became my wife.
Here was a dilemma. I considered the matter as
coolly as the nature of the subject would admit, and
finally came to the conclusion that it was more reasonable, more equitable, and more in accordance twith the
spirit of the times, for him to shoot himself, than that I
should drown myself.




GRANT THIORBURN.                35
CHAPTER V.
BIRDS WITHOUT A NEST.-A BACHELOR CONVERTED.-THE DISAPPOINTED. —
MY REBECCA BECOMES MY WIFE.-A QUIET WEDDING.-HOUSEKEEPING
BEGUN.
1Mv  objections to being drowned were somewhat
strengthened on the following night, as Rebecca and
myself, in committee of the whole, resolved to get
married at once. We had no nest, to be sure; neither
have the little birds. They select a branch, on which
they sit and twitter their tales of love through the silent
watches of the night. At the rising of the sun, the
male comes laden with sticks and straws, which he
lays at the feet of his mistress. Of these she constructs the nest wherein to nurse her young.
Here, then, is the rock whereon thousands of unhappy bachelors founder and are lost. They are ever
placing the cart before the horse, and are always
holding on by the wrong end of the st,:   A  few
days ago I encountered one of that unforl:   class.
In all other respects, he is an excellent member of the
Church and of the State. It is years since last we
met. I asked, "Are you married?"
"No," says he; "but I expect to be, before the
year is out."
"I How old are you."
" Forty-six."
Said I, "Man, my second crop said'Grandfather'
before I was fifty."




36            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
"Ab," says he, " furniture was cheap in your young
days."
I replied, "Furniture has nothing to do with the
choice of a wife. Go and catch the bird first, and
you will soon find a nest to roost in."'
He took my advice, and soon after was enjoying
the happiness of a wedded life.
Having digressed inadvertently, I now return to
my narrative. Mr. Casteel, in the derangement of
his ideas, consulted Mr. (afterwards Chancellor) Kent
and Doctor Pilemore, at that time a popular preacher
in the Episcopal Church in Ann street.'From their
firesides, the report spread through the city (then
nearly bounded by the Park). A poor seamstress
had refused the hand of a rich merchant, and was
going to wed a poor nail-maker. The excitement
was equal to that in Strasburg, on the Rhine, when
the man with the long nose rode through the city.
Some said it was a paper nose; some said it was a
wooden nose; and still the wonder grew. Some cried
one thing, and some another; but the greater part
said it was right; that we ought to come together.
I thought so, too. New York, at that period, numbered but about fifty or sixty thousand inhabitants.
Consequently, almost every one knew his neighbor.
]My pupil was almost a prisoner'in her mother's house.
At the church, in the market, in the highways and
by-ways, she was the observed of all observers. I
also came in for a share of the notoriety. We postponed our marriage from day to day, hoping Mr. C.
would become reconciled, and the nine days' wonder
cease. Finding no lull in the s8tuall, my pupil took




GRANT THORBURN.              37
couinsel of Mrs. Lindsey, the wife of George, a worthy
Scotchman, a master stone-cutter, and an elder in our
kirk. His wife was an American, and a mother in
Israel.  Mrs. Blake was also taken into their' counsel. (Three women will sooner unravel a matrimonial
puzzle than twenty men.) It was resolved in counsel
that we should be married on the following night. To
this arrangement I made no objection. Doctor Mason
(father of the late worthy scion) and his lady, Mr.
Lownds (long remembered as the head engineer of
the City Prison), two young ladies, two young men,
Rebecca and her mother, were invited to drink tea;
and, as there would be no fun till I came, I also was
among the prophets.
Supper being ended, Mrs. Lindsey announced a
wedding! This was news to all but the parties concerned. The young ones looked round, somebody.
blushed, and I felt as well as I ever did in all my
life. In two minutes, a groom and bridesmaid were
selected; in five more, we two were made oiie, according to the canons of the Kirk of Scotland, in like
case made and provided; wine and cake passed, and
nuts and jokes were cracked. At ten the assemblage
broke up, when Rebecca and I accompanied the mother
to her own dwelling. She gave us her blessing, with a
dew-drop on her cheek.
" Grant," says she, "' take care of my jewel."
"Mother," said I, "I will take care of my own
jewel."
We entered our own room in peace. In this room
I nourished and cherished her for three years and six
months, when her Father called, "Come up hither."




38            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
He gave me her likeness, however, in her only child,
my oldest son.
Here, then, you will say, was a Scotch Covenanter's
wedding. It was so, and, as I think, it is the best way
in the world to make a wedding. Here was no boisterous laughter, like the crackling of thorns under a
pot, and which maketh the heart sad. Our hearts
knew their own happiness. The stranger intermeddled not with our joys. Here we sat in our humble
dwelling, with the peace which the world can neither
give nor take away.
For the benefit of those who hesitate to consummate
their happiness, because furniture is dear, I will give
an inventory of what I commenced housekeeping
with: One white-pine table, cost fifty cents; three
rush-bottom chairs, cost twenty-five cents each; three
knives and forks; three cups and saucers, a ragcarpet, and other -utensils in the same proportion.
Though plain, they were all new. Ten dollars closed
the concern. The old lady supplied the upholstery,
gratis. We had. enough, and a chair to spare; in
fast, we often had two chairs to spare, for it not
uffrequently happened that one chair held both of
u —and there was no harm in that. Of what use
are your four dozen of chairs? You can only sit on
one at a time, and the iest are only vanity and vexation of spirit. You gain nothing by rising from one
chair and sitting down on another. With my three
chairs and pine table, a companion who had spurned
a} palace to sit by me in a cottage, [ was content, and
would rot have exchanged them for all the honors of a
dukedom.




GRANT ThIORBURN.               39
CHAPTER VI.
THE DISAPPOINTED RIVAL LOADS HIS PISTOLS.-PREFERS MARRYING THE
FIRST GIRL HE MEETS.-DOES SO.-DIES.-HIS WIDOW, DAUGHTER, AND
MY BOYS.-NOT TO BE.
BEFORE we had been married an hour, some officious
neighbor informed Mr. Casteel of the fact. Mi. 1.,
being a bachelor, boarded out; but, as guardian of his
valuable stock of goods, he slept in a room adjoining
his store. Next morning at eight o'clock, the neighbors seeing the store unopened, and knowing the state
of Mr. C.'s mind, burst open the door, and found him
loading his pistols. The men in the neighborhood met,
and agreed to watch him, two at a time, relieving one
another every two hours. In this they continued ten
successive days and nights; at the end of which time
he settled down to his right mind. One day, after
ruminating three whole hours without speaking (so
one of his watchers told me), he sprang to his feet, and
swore he would marry the first girl he could catch.
Before a week, he married a girl who had seen thirty
summers, and whom he had never known till the day
when he started in search of a wife. She was as poor
as a church mouse, and as ugly as a stone fence. His
temper was soured. Hers was never sweet. Consequently, they got on about as comfortably as two cats
tied together by the tails and thrown across a clothesline. He died about five years after marriage, leaving
her with a son and daughter to count the siller.




40            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
Now, friend reader, this story looks so much like
the romante-books of the present day, that some may
set it down as a mere fiction. It is no fiction, but a
plain, unvarnished tale of truth. My manner of life,
from my 2y6uth up, is known to all the inhabitants of
New York. If Mr. Unbeliever will stake a thousand
dollars (to pay expenses), I'll cover it, and prove every
item by one hundred witnesses who yet live, and who
saw and were cognizant of the facts. A Mr. James
A- Ii, a respectable millionaire, dwelt next door to
Mr. C. The sons and grandsons of Mr. A: yet live in
this city. The former bore witness, and also the latter,
to their having heard their grandsire repeat the tale.
Twenty-five years from the date of these occurrences,
a well-dressed lady, who probably might have seen
fifty-five summers, visited me. With her was a handsome young woman, who appeared to be about twentytwo years of age. At that time I kept store in Liberty
street, in a large building, formerly the Friends' Meeting-house. They walked up into the gallery, where I
kept an aviary for birds. The old lady soom came
down, leaving the young one to await her return, and
listen to the singing of the birds. She came near
where I stood, and asked,
"Do you know me?"
" I do not."
"I am Mrs. Casteel," said she, " and the young woman
in the galleiy is my daughter. After the death of my
husband I removed to the country. There my son
died. Our property has increased very much in value
since Mr. C.'s death; and that girl is heir, at my death,
to the whole. I have not a relation that I know of on




GRANT THORBURN.              41
the face of the earth. I came into this world without
the benefit of clergy; was laid at the rich man's door;
was brought up in the alnshouse, and bound out until
I was of age. Now," she continued, "it was through
you that I became possessed of this property. It is
my wish, if Providence so orders, that one of your
sons, as the husband of my daughter, may possess this
property when my head is laid in the grave."
I was astonished. At this moment we were sitting
within twenty feet of the counter, behind which my
three sons were waiting on customers.
" Are these your three sons?"  she inquired. "They
are good-looking young men. How old are they?"
"The eldest is twenty-nine, has a wife and three
children; the next, twenty-four; the other, twenty-two
— both, very much against my wishes, are bachelors."'What is the name of the oldest bachelor?" inquired IMIrs. Casteel.
" William," said I.
"A suitable age for my Mary," she replied; "ibr
she enteWld her twenty-third year only last week."
Here,i:then, was an under-tow, or romance of love,
from a quarter I never dreamed of. I entered fully
into the old lady's plans, and liked the thing very
much, resolving to gather fun, should I reap nothing
else from the concern. Mrs. Casteel continued:
"In prosecution of this plan I have come to spend
the winter in town, and have engaged lodgings over
the way. Your store and green-house are places of
public resort; my daughter and myself will visit here
daily, and should an attachment spring l1) between
the young ones, my wish will be gratified."




42           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
I cheerfully seconded the motion; but remarked,
that her daughter and my sons must know nothing of
the matter.
The long talk with the mother, and the long stay of
the daughter in the gallery, induced my sons to inquire
who they were. I told them. "NTow," said I, "one
of you make a prize of the daughter; you will get a
handsome wife, and a hundred thousand dollars to buy
pap-spoons with."
She was often in the green-house. I always sent
one of my sons to wait upon her, and often gave him a
hint as broad as a Spanish somnri. They all said she
was pretty-and she was pretty; but the engine
wouldn't work. That marriage, not being registered
in heaven, never could be consummated on earth. In
the spring, the old lady flew away with her young
chicken to another roost. She was married within a
twelvemonth, I hope and believe, very comfortably.
Now, my young bachelor friends-you who are halting between two opinions-you may gather instruction
from the fate of Mr. Casteel. He embittered- his afterlife by procrastination. He could have, been married
to my pupil six months before I saw America. There
is nothing to be gained in dangling for a twelvemonth
after a sensible woman, talking unmeaning stuffwords without wisdom. Tell her your wish like a man,
and not like a blubbering school-boy. She will never
trifle with your affections; and if there are three grains
of common sense in your muncikle carcass, she will be
your own before a month has passed. See the history
of Rebecca, in Genesis, 24th chapter, 57th verse:
When Abraham's servant had concluded the prelimi



GRANT THORBURN.             43
nary contract with Mrs. Laban, on the part of her
daughter, to become the wife of Isaac, the old man was
anxious to get home, to show his young master the
bonny lass he had brought him; the mother wished
him to remain a few days to recruit himself and his
camels. He persisting, it was finally referred to the
daughter. "We will call the damsel, and inquire at
her mouth," said the mother. When Rebecca appeared, her mother asked, "Wilt thou go with this
man?"  Rebecca replied, "I will go."
There was a noble girl for you. No tear starting
from her black eyes; no whining, nor simpering, makebelieve, nor mock-modesty; but what her heart wished
her lips uttered. Like an honest maiden, she replied,
" I will go." Now, young ladies, go thou and do likewise. When the man whom you prefer before all
others in the world says, "Will you go with me?"
answer, "I will go."
By-the-bye, ladies, when you wish to read a true,
simple, and unsophisticated love-story, just read over
the twenty-fourth chapter of Genesis.




44             LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
CHAPTER VII.
OPENING A STORE.-REBECCA SEWS AND I SELL. —EVENINGS AT HOME.YELLOW FEVER.-MOTHER OF REBECCA FLIES.-OUR FIRST-BORN.-PALE
HORSE.-SCENES IN THE FEVER SUMMER.-DR. DINGLEY.-ROBERT HOE.
WE will now return to our own fireside. We had
been twelve months married, the experience of every
day knitting us closer and closer in the bonds of love.
I rented a small store, and with the money I had saved
to carry me home, in case of a certain emergency, I
purchased tape, bobbins, thimbles,'thread, scissors, and
Oxbery's needles. Mr. Oxbery was an Englishman.
I think he kept a genuine Whitechapel needle-store,
corner of Liberty and William streets; and so high
were the needles in repute, that neither lady, miss, nor
waiting-maid would enter a stitch (without a frown)
unless the needles came from Oxbery's. Ask your
wife, mother, or grandmother, and they will confirm
the fact. Now he sleeps with his fathers.
This small Mercantile concern was quite an amusement to my pupil, and we watched its profits and
increase with as much interest and pleasure as ever did
John Jacob Astor his ship-load of bear and otter skins.
The store was in Nassau, near Liberty street. B My
workshop was in Liberty, opposite Green street. When
any thing occurred, in a trade or speculation, too perplexing for her young ideas, I was called, when, putting our heads together, the. mystery was soon solved.




GRANT THORBURN.              45
A board partition separated the store from our parlor,
which latter served for kitchen and all. A glass door
pened opposite the fireplace, where she rolled the
iumpling or broiled the steak with one eye, and kept a
squint on the store with thle other. At noon I camne
in, the pot boiling over the fire on the trammel-ho'ok
(no coal-ranges or cooking-stoves in those days). After
a few minutes' domestic consultation, I stood in the Fly
Market, at the foot of Maiden Lane, where (the " upper
ten" and the boarding-houses being already supplied) I
could buy a steak, fish, or cutlet, for a twelve-penny
paper bill of the Corporation of New York, sufficient
to satisfy the wants of Rebecca and myself for twentyfour hours.
" Ah, mother," exclaims a little miss who has seen
seven summers, " they must have lived on love."
"They did, my dear," replies the mother. The old
lady spoke from experience.
In the afternoon, sitting behind the counter, Rebecca
measured tape, made my shirts, or mended my stockings. She was my storekeeper, housekeeper, bookkeeper, and cash-keeper. In short, she was to me,
intrinsically, more than all the world besides.
While a bachelor, I paid three dollars per week for
board and washing. Now this sum more than covered
our expenses, and the profits of the store paid the rent
(only fifty dollars per annum). I came home at seven
in the evening, and always found the table set, the
kettle singing, a hickory fire burning, and Rebecca
smiling. I had not another wish.
Tea over, while smoothing my linen or crimping her
collar, I read to her from an instructive and amusing




46             LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
book, or fom Harrison's Weekly fugseum, published
at No. 3 Peck Slip, or sang to her a love-song from the
clifty rocks of Scotland-and none speak more pathetically the tender feelings of the heart. This lightened
the cares of my partner, and brought a smile on the
face I so fondly admired.
At nine in the evening (if fine weather), we put the
key in our pocket, walked the circuit of the Battery,
and sat down under our trysting-tree-our feelings,
though less anxious, yet infinitely more sublime than
they were fourteen months previous. This oak yet
stands, full of sap, and flourishing, and long may the
" woodmcan spare that tree."
We had been just twelve months married when the
yellow fever commenced its ravages. Its progress was
more like a Turkish plague than any yellow fever I
have ever seen. Our neighbors all fled to the country,
among their friends; but we had no friends to flee to,
nor any money to support us in idleness. So, after
some consultation, we thought we might as well die of
the plague in the city, as to die of famine in the village. The heart of Rebecca was fixed where fear never
enters. Her slender foot was firmly placed on the
Rock of Ages, and with her hand she took a grasp
upon the skies, and bid troubles roll, nor feared their
idle: whirl.  Now, with every morning service, our
prayers went up, that if one of us was to be taken, the
other iiight not be left. On retiring at night, we sang
the 121st Psalm, P. M.:
No lurning heat by day, nor blast of evening air,
Can take my life away, if God be with me there.




GRANT THORBURN.              47
I'll go and come,
Nor fear to die,
Till from on high,
Thou call'st me home, &c.
Thus we lived, as it were, in an ideal world of our
own creating, while all was death and solemn reality
around us. With a firm reliance on a kind Providence, our hearts were kept in perfect peace. On the
25th of August my brother, twenty months my senior,
and residing in Front street, was attacked. I nursed
him, and he recovered. From this date to the 22d of
September I attended night and day among the sick.
At the door of the Methodist church in John street I
met a poor widow (a mother iii Israel), whom I engaged as a companion and comfort to Rebecca while I
ministered to those who were ready to perish. The
fear of death had driven the mother of Rebecca into
the country.
When all had fled who were able, and the Board of
Health had removed the poor to temporary buildings
out of town (viz., Harlem Heights, then styled), the
census was taken, and it appeared that only fifteen
thousand men, women, and children remained. Out
of this number sixty-three died on the 22d of September, 1789, which is the highest number of deaths recorded during the prevalence of the yellow fever in
lNew York.
On this fatal day my first-born, for the first time,
beheld the light of the sun. Without was heard the
voice of weeping, wailing, lamentation, and woe; but
in my house was joy and peace that day, for it was
well with the mother, it was well with her child, and




48            LIFE AND WRI'iNGS OF
well with all under my roof. To be sure, Death on
the Pale Horse, in going the rounds, stopped in front
of my dwelling; he reconnoitered the preipises for a
moment, while the horse stood pawing, at the door;
but, seeing that the posts and lintels were marked by
the angel of protection, he dared not enter; but, slowly
descending to Maiden Lane (I lived at the corner of
Nassau and Liberty streets)j he stopped at my seconddoor neighbor's, where he left a dart in the heart of
Doctor Dingley. At ten that same night he was laid
in the Potter's Field.
It is a remarkable instance of providential preservation, that, during all the fevers, I never left the city,
and, though more or less engaged in nursing the sick
every season of its prevalence, neither myself, my Wife,
nor any of my children, were ever attacked by that
malignant disease.  During the fever in 1822, my
porter, an intemperate, aged man, went out on a
Saturday evening, in spite of my earnest remonstrance.
During the evening a thunder-storm broke upon the
city, and at midnight he came home, drunk, and wet
to the skin. I stripped him to nudity, and put on him
a large red-flannel shirt, and then put his feet in warm
water. I afterwards put him in bed, and covered his
body with two blankets, hoping to promote perspiration. In five minutes he was fast asleep. Fearing an
emergency, I slept in the room adjoining. His groans
awoke me'at four o'clock in the morning. Doctor
Kissam felt his pulse in thirty minutes thereafter. I
nursed him myself. At six o'clock on the following
Saturday afternoon he slept with his fathers, in Potter's
Field.




GRANT THORBURN.              49
This was the only death by yellow fever that ever
occurred under my roof. No other of my family were
affected, though he died in our midst. T/w total absence of all fear, I yet think, was the means which
Providence employed for our preservation. We neither
took preventive pills nor powders; but, with a firmn
reliance on our Maker and Preserver, kept on the even
tenor of our way, with moderation in all things, shunning heat by day and chills by night. To be sure, in
my visitations among the sick, I walked the streets
during all the silent watches of the night; but this was
imperious duty, and I felt confident that death could
not and would not touch one hair of my head while I
was engaged in so necessary and meritorious an act.
D)uring the prevalence of the yellow fever, when not
in attendance on the sick, I was busily employed in
making nails for the coffin-makers. A carpenter in
Warren street kept twelve men constantly employed,
in making white-wood coffins, not painted, which he
sold for five dollars each. Two stout lads,' with a
hand-cart load, went daily through the streets, stopping at every corner, and crying out, "Coffins, coffins,
all sizes, only five dollars." In many instances, the
coffin stood under the bed of the patient for days and
weeks, waiting for him. Some recovered, and paid
the carpenter for their own coffin. Undertakers, as a
profession, were not known in New York at that period (1798.)
My dwelling was on the corner of Nassau and Liberty streets, where Suydam, Nixon and Co.'s dry-goods
store now stands. In Liberty street, nearly opposite
the post-office a house was closed, the family having
3n




50            LIFE AND WRTIINGS OF
fled. The cellar was occupied by a man and woman.
I saw them daily for some time; at length I missed
them for two days. The door being open all this time,
I began to suspect that something was wrofig. On the
third day I stood at the door, and knocked; no one
opened. I called; no one gave answer. I stepped in
upon the cold, damp floor. The room was very dark.
After a few seconds I could discern objects, but saw no
living creature. I listened, and heard the sound of
heavy breathing, like a strong man in a sound sleep.
I followed the sound, and, in a remote corner, on a
miserable bed, lay a man and woman, their eyes fast
closing in the sleep of death. Between them lay a
child, fast asleep, which, from its appearance, might
have seen ten months. The child must have ben in
that state of happy unconsciousness for at least twentyfour hours, for, from the appearance of the mother,
she could not have ministered to its wants in all that
time. Its is a beautiful idea, which prevails in Switzerland, That when a child is born, God appoints its
guardian angel.  And why\ not?  History records
many cases where the mother has been struck dead
by lightning, and found with the child on her lap,
asleep, without even the smell of fire on its garments.
But to return. I looked around, and saw nothing
either to nourish or o trish life. I procured, however, a cup of cold water, and, with a towel, washed
their parched lips. I could do no more. "iLord, receive their spirits," I mentally prayed, and left' them.
Returning i two hours thereafter, their spirits had
winged their flight to that God who giveth and who
taketh away; and the child was striving to draw




GRANT TIIORBURN.             51
sustenance from the cold breast of its mother.  I
reported the case to the Board of Health, which sat
(in fever times) day and night, in the old almshouse in the Park. The parents were laid in the
Potter's Field, and the babe placed under the care
of a nurse.
Thousands of valuable lives were lost during the
fever periods, for want of proper attention. For instance: fifty years ago, many of the master-mechanics
boarded all their apprentices, and part of their journeymen, in their own families. ^ It often happened
that a son, an apprentice, and one or two of the journeymen (shoemakers, perhaps, for at that period most of the
in-door work was done in the house of the employer)
would, when the family was about to leave, propose to
stay, work, and keep house. The consequence was,
when those bachelors were taken sick, there was no
one to nurse them. Thus, on an average, eight bachelors died to five married men. Mark this, neighbor
bachelor; and if you mean to live all your days, get
married as soon as you can. Dh 1708, from the
fifteenth to the twenty-sec6nd of September, I had
seven of those useless mortals on my sick-list, viz.:
one in Liberty street, three on the corner of Front
and Pine streets, and three on the corner of Dover and
Water streets-three AmeriCans, and four Scotchmen.
There was no one to give them a cup of water, myself
alone excepted. Two Americans and one Scot died.
With the exception of two or three hours' sleep out
of every twenty-four, I was with them, night and
day, the whole week. They were all seized on the
fifteenth; two died on the twentieth, and the other




52            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
on the twenty-second, aged twenty-one, twenty-five,
and twenty-six.
Returning, on the twenty-first of September, at
eleven o'clock in the evening, from visiting my three
patients at the corner of Dover and Water streets, the
night was dark, a thick, wetting mist was falling, and
the street lamps twinkled just enough to make darkness
visible (no gas in those days). Descending the hill in
Franklin Square, from Dover street, I met two hearses,
both filled to overflowing with dead mortality, each
containing fourteen coffins. One of the hearses was
issuing out of Peck Slip, and the other out of Ferry
street. They turned up Pearl street, on their way to
the Potter's Field. The wheels of these chariots of
death rolled heavily up the hill, the springs and timbers screeching and groaning as if chanting the requiem
of friends departed. Each hearse had a driver and
assistant, sitting in front, with a lantern between their
feet. They sat as dumb as mutes. The pale light
from their lanterns flickered across their stupid, unmeaning countenances, which looked as white as the
face of Samuel, just peering out of the grave, when
called by the witch of Endor from the mansions of the
dead.
Dr. Dingley came from London to this city a. few
months previous to the commencement of the fever,
furnished with diplomas from the Magdalen and other
hospitals. By the opportune setting-in of the yellow
fever, he soon got'lto a large practice, and it is said that
he was very successful. He left a wife and family in
London. He kept his head-quarters in a boarding-house
in Nassau street, the second door from my dwelling,




GRANT THORBURN.              53
near Maiden Lane. About the 1st of September, the
boarders and landlady fled, leaving the doctor, and his
man who had charge of the horse and chariot, to keep
bachelor's hall as they pleased. On the evening of
the 16th, the doctor came into my house to light his
candle.
" How is the fever to-day, doctor?" said I.
" Worse and worse," he replied; "fifty deaths and
sixty-five new cases. I do not feel very well myself."
Next day he was reported among the new cases; this
was on Monday, the 17th. He was visited daily by
almost every doctor who remained in the city,(for the
eminent physicians and rich citizens fled, leaving the
poor and destitute to battle the fever as best they could).
From Monday, till sundown on Friday, three or four
chariots were constantly in front of his dwelling. None
appearing on Saturday at mid-day, I concluded that the
doctor must be either dead or better, and thought I
would go and see. The front door standing wide open,
I struck the knocker, but got no answer; I repeated the
sound, but no one came forth; I stood on the first platform of the stair, and struck the board with the heel of
my boot-still no man regarded. I ascended to the
second platform, and, on listening, I heard a heavy
breathing. I followed the sound till, on a cot in the
centre of a large room —tlIthree windows wide open,
the day being hot-I found the body of the doctor, his
spacious chest heaving like a bellows with ever'y respiration, his eyes set, fixed on the ceiling, and glazed with
the films of death; a swarm of house-flies formed a
black circle round his mouth. I spoke-he heard me
not. On the sideboard stood a decanter of wine. I




54            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
swept the flies from his face, wiped his parched lips
with a wet cloth. I poured a few drops of wine into a
silver spoon, and, gently raising his head, poured the
wine into his mouth. The moment the spoon touched
his lips, he extended his jaw and clutched it firmly with
his teeth. The stillness of death which pervaded the
street and the room caused the clang from the silver
spoon to reverberate loudly through the silent room.
It was the knell of his departing spirit; for, ere the
clock had struck another note of time, his soul had
crossed that great gulf which separates time from eternity. As I held the spoon in my hands, when he
clutched it with his teeth, it sent a thrill through every
nerve in my system, like a stroke from an electric machine. It required some exertion to draw the spoon
from between his clenched teeth. That night, at ten
o'clock, he filled a stranger's grave in the Potter's Field.
As I stated above, the doctor was seized on the 16th;
on the 21st he was pronounced by six physicians a
dying, man. His English man-servant mounted the
horse and fled, fearing the fever'might catch him also.
He left the house open to admit the grave-diggers, as
he told me some months afterwards-a bright thought.
At this time the Board of Health hired men, to
whom they gave money to seek out and relieve the
necessities of the poor ~discretion. They offered to
put my name on their list, and give me my hire. I
thanked them, but told them that money could not hire
me, but that, while God spared my life and health, I
would do my duty, and He would see to my wages.
"Doth Job serve God for naught?" is the only truth
that Satan ever uttered.




GRANT THORBURN.              55
In September, 1805, the yellow fever prevailed to a
fearful extent in this city. As I never left town while
it was raging, I was sitting in my tent door in the cool
of the day, and lifting up my eyes I beheld a stranger,
a rare sight in fever times. He was moving from Cedar
street along Nassau, having hig face set towards Maiden
Lane. He walked in the middle of the street, and was
reading the sign-boards on the right and left. He
paused in front of my open door, and mine was the
only store open in the block. As he stepped in, he
said, "Mr. Thorburn."
" Where did you learn my name a?" I inquired.
" I saw it over the door," said he. " I have just come
on shore from the ship Draper, from Liverpool. I am
a carpenter by trade, my name is Robert Hoe; I am
now in my eighteenth year."
Says 1, " Robert, were your indentures fulfilled before
you left England?"
Says he, "I never was bound, I learned my trade
with my father; I can't find work, I have no money;
cqan you recommend to me a house in a healthy part of
the city, where I may board till I get employment,
when I will pay them honestly?"
I knew the heart of a stranger, having been a stranger
myself, and there was so much of honest simplicity in
his speech and deportment, my heart warmed towards
him; I gave him a chair, arid ran up stairs; says I,
" Gude wife, a stranger standeth at our door; shall we
take him in?"  "If thee pleases," she replied. "If he
takes.the fever, will thee help me to nurse him?" "I
will," she answered. " Thank you, dear, for this; God
will bless you." Now, says I, "Come and look on his




LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
honest English face." The impression was favorable.
Says I, "Robert, this neighborhood is accountea the
most healthful in the city; you will lodge here; if you
take the fever, my wife and I will nurse you, you shan't
go to the stranger's hospital." His eyes spoke thanks
more eloquent than words. As he had no business
abroad, I advised him to stay at home.
The fever seized him, however, in less than a week.
I procured an eminent physician; my wife and I nursed
him. In seventeen summers that I've nursed among
the sick, I do not think that I ever saw a case so violent
but it terminated in death, his only excepted. On the
fourth day, generally the crisis, the burning fever was
coursing through his veins, and drinking up his English
blood. His skin burning, dry, and yellow, heart-sick,
home-sick,'all-round-sick; and his spirits sunk down to
his heels. I sat by his bedside, he fastened his restless
eyes on mine: " O iMr. T., Mr. T., I shall die, I shall
die-I never can stand this;" and he threw his brawny
arms across the bed, as if going to grapple with death.
"Die," says I,'Robert, to be sure, we must all die,
but you are not going to die this week." In this I
spoke unadvisedly with my lips, but I thought of Pope
Pius and his Bull, to wit, that the end would sanctify
the means. He was under the influence of powerful
medicine at this moment; I knew there would be a
lull, as the sailors say, soon; and I meant to take advantage of the circumstance to persuade him to live, if
possible. Fancy kills, and fancy ceures. I left him for
fifteen minutes. On my return, I felt his pulse i; said.I,
" Robert, you are fifty per cent. better already;' I hope
to see you walk from the bed, and sit by the window




GRANT THORBURN.     -         57
to-morrow."  I sat by his bed conversing to cheer his
spirits. I continued, "Death is nigh at hand at all
times and in all places; but my impression is, that you
will not die with this attack. I hope to see you a thriving master-builder, married to one of the bonny Yankee
lassies, and to hold your grandehild in my arms."
From this hour the fever left him. Shortly after this,
the fever disappeared from the city. He became a
master-builder, and died in 1843, aged 56. But his
name will never die, while types are set, and printers
breathe: Hoe's Printing Press is probably the most
useful discovery that has blessed the world, since the
first sheet was struck from the press. Formerly, we
paid one hundred and fifty cents for a Bible, now we
buy one as good for twenty-five cents. It may be said
of his sons (a rare occurrence in this country), that they
are better men than their father, inasmuch as they
have added many improvements to their father's plans.
Mr. Hoe dwelt in New York thirty-eight years. After
his recovery from the fever in 1805, we met times without number; his never-failing salutation was, "Grant,
as the instrument under God, I have to thank you for
my recovery from that fever."  I have received many
tokens of kindness from his worthy family of sons and
daughters. And nothing in my past life affords such
pleasing reflections as this act of duty and humanity to
a stranger. When his aching head lay on my breast,
as I held the cooling draught to his parched lips, I
little thought that in his head lay the germ of a machine destined to revolutionize the world of literature,
and shed light on the dark places of the earth, whose
habitations are full of horrid cruelty.
3*




LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
About seven years ago, I stepped from the cars in a
country town. Among them who were looking on,
stood a man of genteel appearance; -said I, " Sir, I *ish
to stop here for a week, I don't like to put up in a hotel;
can you direct me where I may lodge in a private
family " He said he could. We entered the next
street, he stopped in front of a respectable two-story
brick tenement; on the front stoop sat a comely matron.
She might have seen twenty-eight summers; on her lap
sat a babe. Said my friend to the matron, " Cude wife,
this is Mr. Thorburn, from New York; he wishes private
board for a week, can you accommodate him?" "Yes,"
says she, "for a year, or a lifetime, if it is his wish.
Oft has my father told me, when he was sick, and a
stranger, that Mr. T. took him in, and administered to
his wants."  "What was your father's name?" I inquired. " Robert Hoe," she replied. "And is this your
child?" "It is." I held the babe in my arms, it smiled
on my face. "Now," says I, "madam, this day my
prophecy is fulfilled in your eyes; it's just forty years,
at a critical moment in your father's life, when I told
him that I hoped to hold his grandchild in my arms."




GRANT THORBURN.                59
CHAPTER  VIII.
DEATH OF MY WIFE.-SECOND MARRIAGE.-ANECDOTE OF. MR. VAN HOOK.GROCERY BUSINESS.-SEEDS AND PLANTS. —NAROW ESCAPE BY FIRE.-.
ANOTHER CHANGE.
MY wife recovered soon, and enjoyed good health
till the month of August, 1800, when she was seized
with the symptoms of a rapid consumption; and,
though every means was resorted to, she died, in the
peace and hope of the Gospel, on the 28th of November
of the same year,. On her death-bed she was, often
visited by the elders and praying members of our
church. Often she told me how thankf4l she was that
God had made her to be acquainted with me, which
was the means of introducing her into such society.
Had I married that man of the world, she would say,
what n6w would have been all his riches to me? Not
one of his acquaintances is able to speak a word of
comfort to my soul. On the morning of her death the
sun rose in all his rich effulgence, so strikingly mild
and beautiful at that season of the year: his beams fell
on the end of a brick building, in such a position that
it reflected its light in her face. I asked her if I should
close the shutters. She answered, No; it did not hurt
her eyes; it madd her think of the glories of heaven,
where they have no. need of the sun, neither of the
moon, the Lamb being the light thereof: Her mother
and I sat by her bedside: she turned her face towards




60            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
the wall, and in five minutes, without speaking a
word or heaving a groan, her spirit escaped from its
cage.
As much as I valued this precious gift of Heaven, I
dared not repine. He gave her to me as by a miracle,
and He had a right to his own when he pleased. A
few hours before she died, I sat by the side of her.bed,
with her son on my knee. She fastened her expressive eyes on him for some minutes. I said, "' Rebecca,
have you any regret in leaving this child 2" "None!"
she firmly replied: "I have given him over to the
care of his heavenly Father, who will never leave him
nor forsake him; and his earthly father I know will be
kind to him, for my sake." The hope that. supports
nature in such extremities must be from above.
Being thus left with a child two years and two
months old, with a care of a house and store, and thinking it more creditable and wise to marry a wife than
to hire a housekeeper, I again entered into that state
in 1801. Shortly after this, the introduction of cutnails cut me off from making a living by my hammer.
I now kept a grocery, and had a good run of customers:
I still resided at No. 22 Nassau street.
On the east corner of Nassau and Liberty streets
there lived the venerable old gentleman, Mr. Isaac Van
Hook, so well known as the sexton o[ the New Dutch
church opposite his house, for nearly fifty years. James
Laing and William Smith, both cabinet-makers, and
carrying on a respectable business, having in their employment ten or twelve journeymen and apprentices;
these men took a mad resolution, gave up the business,
sold their stock, hired the corner house over the head




GRANT THORBURN.                     61
of poor old Van Hook,* turned him and his tobaccopipes out of doors, and commenced the grocery business.  Theirs being a corner, took away the most of my
customers; insomuch thlat I was obliged to look round
for some other mode to support my family. This, you
may be sure, I considered a great misfortune; but, in
the sequel, you will see that Providence was thus preparing the way to put me into a more agreeable and
profitable business; and what we may often think is a
great misfortune at the time, is only making the way
for a greater blessing.
About this time the ladies in New York were beginning to show their taste for flowers; and it was customary to sell the empty flower-pots in the grocery
stores; these articles also comprised part of my stock.
In the fall of the year, when the plants wanted shifting, preparatory to their being placed in the parlor, I
was often asked for pots of a handsomer quality, or
better make. As I stated above, I was looking round
for some other means to support my family. All at
once it came into my mind to take and paint some
of my common flower-pots with green varnish paint,
thinking it would better suit the taste of the ladies than
the common brick-bat colored ones.  I painted  two
* This Mr. Van Hook was so great a smoker, that the pipe was not
out of his mouth perhaps one hour in the twenty-four: he used the
longest kind of Liverpool pipes. In the house; in the street, in the
church, and in his bed, have I seen him with the pipe in his mouth.
One day, a wag sent a countryman to ask if he sold any smoked
tongues? The old man took the hint, said he had none to sell, but
directed him across the street to old Mr. Watkey's, another noted
smoker; between them they smoked the man, and, after drinking some
good old Hollands, parted good friends.




62            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
pair, and exposed them in front of my window. I
remember, just as I had placed the two pair of pots in
front of my window on the outside, I Was standing on
the sidewalk, admiring their appearance, a carriage
came along, having the glasses let down, and one lady
only in the carriage. As the carriage passed my shop,
her eye lit on the pots; she put her head out at the
window, and looked back, as far as she could see, on
the pots. Thinks I, this will take; and it did take —
for these two pots were the links of a chain by means
of which Providence was leading me into my extensive
seed establishment. They soon drew attention, and
were sold. I painted six pair; they soon went the
same way. Being thus encouraged, I continued painting and selling to good advantage: this was in the f'all
of 1802.
One day, in the month of April following, I observed
a man, for the first time, selling flower-plants in the
Fly Market, which then stood at the foot of Maiden
Lane. As I carelessly passed along, I took a leaf, and
rubbing it between my fingers and thumb, asked him
wha was the name of it. He answered, a rose-geranium..-This, as far as I can recollect, was the first time
that I ever heard that there was a geranium in the
world; as, before this, I had no taste for, nor paid any
attention to, plants. I looked a few minutes at the
plant, thought it had a pleasant. smell, and thought it
would. look well if removed into one of my green
flower-pots, to stand on my counter to draw attention.
I remember, after smelling the first leaf of the rosegeranium, and also when I received additions to my
stock, how I was struck with wonder and amazement,




GRANT THIORBURN.            63
at the power, wisdom, and goodness of God, in imparting to the green leaf of one plant the fragrance of
another, such as the balm, musk, pennyroyal, &c.
How condescending to oui' senses, how indulgent, as
it were, even to our childish and playful fancies! It
was thus my mind was struck when I smelt the first
leaf. Thought I, it is strange that a green leaf plucked
from a plant no way similar, should possess all the
flavor of the.flower plucked from another.
Observe, I did not purchase this plant with the intention of selling it again, but merely to draw attention
to my green pots, and let the people see how well the
pots looked when the plant was in them. Next day,
some one fancied and purchased plant and pot. Next
day I went when the market was nearly over, judging
the' man would sell cheaper, rather than have the
trouble of carrying them over the river, as he lived at
Brooklyn,-and in those days there was neither steam
nor horse-boats. Accordingly I purchased two plants;
and having sold them, I began to think that something
might be done this way; and so I continued to go at
the close of the market, and always bargained for the
unsold plants. And the man finding me a useful customer, would assist me to carry them home, and show
me how to shift the plants out of his pots and put them
into green pots, if my customers wished it. So I soon
found by his tongue that he was a Scotchman, and
being countrymen, we wrought to one another's hands:
thus, from'having one plant, in a short time I had
fifty. The thing being a novelty, began to draw attention; people carrying their country friends to see the
curiosities of the city, would step in to see my plan4ts,




64            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
In some of these visits the strangers would express a
wish to have some of these plants, but having so far to
go, could not carry them. Then they would ask if I
had no seed of such plants; then, again, others would
ask for cabbage, turnip, or radish seed, &c.
These frequent inquiries at length set me to thinking,
that if I could get seeds Ivould be able to sell them;
but here lay the difficulty, as no one sold seed in New
York, no one of the farmers or gardeners saved more
than what they wanted for their own use; there being
no market for an oyerplus. In this dilemma I told my
situation to George Inglis, the man from whom I had
always bought the plants in the Fly Market. He said
he was now raising seeds, with the intention of selling
them next spring, along with his plants; in the nm  L r et;
but if I would take his seeds he would quit the market,
and stay at home and raise plants and seeds for me to
sell. A bargain was immediately struck; I purchased
his stock of seeds, amounting to fifteen dollars; and
thus commenced a business on the 17th of September,
1805, that became the most extensive of the sort in the
United States.
It is worth while to look back on the steps by which
Providence led me into this business, without my ever
planning or intending to become a seedsman.
1. By the introduction of cut-nail machines cutting
me off from making a living by my own trade of nail-'making.
2. By shutting me up, so that I could not make a
iving by keeping grocery.
3. By directing my mind to the painting of green
pots, which induced me to purchase the first plant that




GRANT THORBURN.               65
ever drew my attention; and this merely with a view
of ornamenting my store, and not for the purpose of
sale.
4. In being led, by the sale of this plant, to keep a
quantity of them for the same purpose, which induced
people to ask for the seedof the plants, and also for
vegetable seeds, long before I ever thought of selling
seeds.
I now advertised in the papers of the day gardenseeds. In a short time my small stock was all sold out;
I knew not where to replace them. - In this difficulty a
friend stepped into the store, and introduced me to his
friend, Mr. Morgan, just arrived from London, having
a small invoice of garden-seeds, which he was willing
to sell at a small advance. A bargain was soon struck,
for tlhe invoice contained the very articles I was daily
asked for, and knew not where to obtain. Next day, on
opening the casks, I found a catalogue of seeds for sale
by William'Malcolm & Co., London; this was at that
time a prize to me, for never before this had I seen a
seed-catalogue. This catalogue had noted on the margin
the time of sowing-a thing I was totally ignorant of.
Having now a plan, I published a cataloguie of my own,
and, with the assistance of my friend the gardener, at
Brooklyn, adapted the time to suit our own climate; so
that now, when my customers asked when such and
such seeds ought to' be.sown, I was able to give the
necessary information. Next fall, I sent a small remittance with an order to Mr. M3. The seeds arrived id
good season, and, with the seeds raised by my friend at
Brooklyn, composed a good assortment to commence
business in the spring. The seeds I had imported and




66         - LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
got raised here, proving very good, my sales increased
beyond what my friend could supply; and some of the
market-garden~s, supposing they might be able to sell
me seeds, had this year raised seeds for that purpose.
Having no other resource, I was fain to purchase such
as were offered; and, being a mechanic by profession,
and alike ign~orantof seeas and gardening, I had long
to struggle with the impositions of unprincipled seedraisers, they often selling me spurious seeds, and asserting they were of the most genuine quality.
Having at length brought the business to a pretty
respectable footing, it narrowly escaped total destruction in 1808, by a great'fire, which commenced in a
soap and candle manufactory adjoining the store. This
fire broke out at midnight, the 25th of August, and was
so rapid that five of the inmates-of the house where it
commenced, perished in the flames. Several circumstances occurred in connection with this fire in which I
could discern the kind hand of Providence, and are in
themselves so remarkable that they deserve never to be
forgotten. It was impressed on my mind, long before
it took places that the factory would be burned. For
many months previous, when the fire company belonging to engine No. 16 came to the pump, corner of Liberty and Nassau streets, on the first Monday in every
month (according to law), to wash and clean the engine,
I used to tell them, in a jocose manner, how I wished
them to act when the candle-box (as I termed the building) should take fire. I got my property insured a
short time before the fire took place; it was in time of
the long embargo. I had on hand a large stock of early
York cabbage and other seeds, which I was obliged to




GRANT TRORBURN.             67
import, but which could not then be imported, on account of the restrictions existing. At dinner, the day
previous to the fire, I told my wife I was going to pack
my most valuable seeds, and head them up in flour
barrels, that they might be safely removed when the fire
broke out next door. I came from my store between
nine and ten o'clock that evening. l1y wife was much
fatigued with nursing our youngest child, who was sick
at the time; I told her to lie down, and I would nurse
till she got some sleep. She arose about five minutes
before twelve. As I laid my head on the pillow, the
clock in the corner of my room struck twelve. I must
have dropped to sleep immediately; for the next day I
found my clock in the New Dutch Church, with the
hands stopped at fifteen minutes past twelve; it having
been seized and carried into the church at that minute,
to save it from the fire. I was awoke by a loud scream
from my wife, Wvho was then rocking the cradle; I
sprung on the floor before my eyes were opened, and
asked what was the matter. She said we were all on
fire. I opened the back window, and was saluted by a
column of smoke and fire, issuing from the back of the
sojap-works. Having for many months previous resolved
in my mind how I would act when the thing took place,
I was in nowise alarmed; she being dressed, I told her
to take herself and child to a place of safety, and I
would wake up and take care of the other children and
servants. I afterwards dressed, and put on a pair of
double-soled boots, fearing that in the confusion I
should tread on a rusty nail in some of the boards tlat
might be pulled down. I then went in my store, which
was by this time on fire, and secured my valuable




68            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
papers and money, by pinning them in my ja.cketpocket; I wet my night-cap and put it on, to preserve
my hair from being singed.'As the engines came up,
I directed them to the place where their services would
be most useful, and then ran from place to place, saving
and preserving such property as I could.
The"buildings where the fire originated stood on the
south side of my premises, my back store, a wooden
building two stories high. The wind blew fresh from:
the south, which covered this building with flame; but,
notwithstanding, there was so little damage done this
building, that ten dollars put it in as good repair as it
was before the fire began. There was only an inchboard between the factory and my back building. The
day previous, I had been painting pots with green
varnish. The shelf on which the painted pots stood
was next to the factory; one pot contained about four
pounds of verdigris, mixed with spirits of turpentine
and varnish; a pitcher also contained half a gallon of
rosin, varnish, &c., with a jug containing half a gallon
of spirits of turpentine. The fire burned through the
boards directly opposite where these inflammable articles stood; the end of the shelf burned through, and
dropping about twelve inches, rested on the floor, and
then was extinguished; but by what means no one
could tell, as no engine, person, or water, could reach
that spot during the fire. The heat melted the paint
that was on the outside of the pots and jug, running
down the sides; when the fire subsided, they were
found glued fast to the board. The jug with spirits of
turpentine was corked; the pots containing paint and
varnish werel without covering, but completely filled




GRANT THORBURN.              69
up with black coals, which must have fallen in while
burning. Yet for all this, these infiammablq articles
did not take fire; had they taken fire, my whole premises must have been consumned.
Next day, when the carpenter and his man came to
repair what little damage was -done, they were the first
to observe this circumstance; and keing strucIr with
surprise, not only called me, but several of the neighbors, besides others, to see it, before they removed the
articles. One of the neighbors observed, it was impossible that they could have stood there during the fire
without being burned; when one of the carpenters told
them to lift up the pots and jugs. They found them
glued fast to the board, and were then convinced that,
however strange, it was true. For my own part, I saw
in it the power of Him whose hand is in every thing,
whether it is the fall of an empire or a sparrow. In
short, the small damage that was done to my premises
surprised many; and many came from a distance to
view the buitdings for months after. Eight or nine
houses were burned on the rear and on the windward.side of the factory where the fire commenced; while
my store, which was joined by nails and boards, had
scarcely the smell of fire on its roof.
In 1808, when all intercourse between America and
Britain was suspended, and we were therefore prevented from importing such seeds as were necessary in
our business, I wag advised by my friends to attempt
the raising of them myself. I was drawn into this
business much against my own inclination and better
judgment, as you will see in the sequel.
~A few years previous, a gardener from England, by




,0o           LIFE AND WRITMNGS OF
the name   Thorny, purchased about seven acres of
land nea.Newark Bridge, which he improved as a
kitchen-g~aden, and for raising a few seeds; but failing
of success, andetting in debt, he absconded. He
owed me a hunued dollars at the time; so, when he
got to Philadelphia he executed a deed, whereby he
constituted me -owner of the soil, the first intimation
of which was my receiving said deed per mail. As
there was a considerable crop of seeds on the ground
at the time, I resolved to gather the seeds as part payment; aud as there was a mortgage for two hundred
dollars on the premises, to let the land go to whomsoever had the best'claim. The seeds were gathered,
and the crop hardly paid the men's wages; but still I
was persuaded to pay the mortgage and keep the
place, as my well-intending friends all said it would do
wonders under the management of.an active man. It
did wonders with a witness; for, after striving and
toiling by sunlight and moonlight, in wet weather and
dry weather, I found, at the end of five'years, I had
spent the whole earnings of my life, and was several
thousands worse than nothing. I now gave up my all
to my creditors; and, that I might be enabled to commence business anew, I applied, with an empty pocket
and a clear conscience, for the benefit of the insolvent
act.. For this end it was necessary, as a first step, that
I should either go to jail or the limits. I preferred the
formner, as I could board for half tlhe expense. So, in
December, 1813, I left my wife with -one dollar and
sixty-two cents, and four young children to support,
Without any certainty where the next dollar was to
come from, in a solitary house, the nearest neighbor




GRANT THORBURN.              71
being.one-fourth of a mile distant, and on a stormy
day. You may suppose my feelings at this moment
were not of the most pleasant kind.
The following circumstance took place, which struck
me forcibly at the time, and oh which I often reflect
with wonder and gratitude. As I was walking down
the main street in Newark, on my way to jail, the
sheriflfs officer politely going some distance either before or behind me, it matters not which, I was accosted
by a man whom I had not seen for two years previous.
Says he," Mr. Thorburn, I have owed you fifteen dollars for a long time, but it never was in my power to
pay you till now; just step in this store and I will pay
you," pointing to one close by. I received the money
with as much wonder and thankfulness as if I had seen
it drop from the clouds in my path. I had nco seen
this man for so long a time, that I never expected the
money. This circumstance inspired me with so much
confidence in a superintending Providence, that I went
into jail with a light heart, and slept-yes, my rmind
was so composed, after witnessing this signal proof of
the goodness of God as a Provider, that all my anxieties on acbount of my family fled, and I slept. I knew
that He who hangs creation on his arm, and feeds her
at his board, would not suffer my children to starve.
This man told me, some months after, that at the time
he paid me that money he knew notlfing of my difficulties. Well, having stayed the time appointed in
jail, and gone through the forms by law prescribed, I
came out whitewashed from all claims as far as the
law could go; but I thought I was as much bound in
justie as ever I was to pay my honest debts, should;




LIFE AN D WRITINGS OF
Providence put it in lily power, by prospering my
future exertions. HIe did prosper my future exertions,
and I can now show receipts for thousands of dollars
which were by law cancelled.
In the course of my life I lhave experienced at times
the depths of sorrow and the heights of delight; but
just enough of the former to give a relish to the latter.
When I failed, and gave up my property to my creditors, as usual, it was sold by the sheriff. At the public
sale of my furniture, a cradle, in which lay one of my
children asleep, then about two months old, was sold
among the rest. This was more than my philosophy
could stand. A gentleman among the company had
it knocked down to him; he observed, with a smile,
he supposed the child now was his property, as well as
the cradle. Being answered in the affirmative, he
called the mother of the child, and made her a present
of both. Such seasonable acts of kindness, in times of
trouble, give a double relish to the deed. While I was
filled with gratitude to the instrument, I was also
thankful to Him who has the hearts of all in his hands,
believing that all men are to me what he makes them
to be. He who gave Joseph favor in the eyes of his
fellow-men is the same yesterday, to-day, and forever.
In 1815 I returned to New York with my family,
and only about twelve. dollars in my pocket. Being
out of employment, I hired myself as porter to the
store of Mr. D. Durham. He always treated me with
kindness, though the other servants about his office
complained of him as being a hard master. - In January, 1816, a friend advanced me five hundred dollars,
with which I commenced business in the cellar of a




GRANT THORBURN.             73
house corner of Nassau street and Liberty.' For seven
years previous, in spite of all my exertions, every thing
went backwards,-now every thing seemed to' thrive
of itself.
Previous to my-removal to New Jersey, my seed
establishment was kept at No. 20 Nassau street. After
mly failure it was occupied by Mr. Grundy as a seed
-shop  and he, being in possession of the original
stand, nearly engrossed all my former custom. He,
however, neglected his business, took to habits of dissipation, was sold out by the sheriff in turn, when I
purchased part of the stock and all the fixtures, and
continued the business in my old stand.
On the day of my discharge under the insolvent act,
Mr. Grundy was the only person who brought forward
any opposition. It was not founded on the plea of
fraud, but in trying to make out some sort of a flaw
in the papers, as not having got the full two-thirds of
my creditors to sign off, or something to that purpose:
and had it not been that the recorder saw through the
motive, and withal being a man proverbial for leaning
to the side of mnercy, he would have frustrated my discharge at that time.
When Mr. Grundy arrived in America he lodged
first in my house, and continued under my roof several
years, where he'was always treated with kind attention; yet,.when I was surrounded with difficulties and
trouble, he proved my most determined enemy..
Again I had an opportunity of returning good for
evil.- When he got low I gave him employment: the
last shilling he received in the world was from my
hand.'The streets were glazed with ice: I urged him
4




74           LIFE AND WRITGS OF
to go home.before night; he stopped on the way with
a friend; it was very dark; he fell backwards, and
was dead before morning.
Finding my business again in a prosperous state, I
left New York the 8th of July, on a visit to my friends
in Scotland.




GRANT THORBURN.              75
CHAPT.JER IX.
A. SCENE AT SEA.-JOURNEY TO THE BAY STATE IN JUNE, 1829,
ON the 8th September, 1818, I sailed from Greenock
in the Iris, Captain S., of New York. One morning,
at sunrise, having been out near four weeks, we discovered a vessel far astern, seemingly following our
track. The captain, after looking some time with his
glass, observed, "That fellow wants to speak us." I
requested him to slacken sail, as perhaps they were in
distress. Having now a fair wind and a good breeze,
he was loth to comply: again applying his glass, and
laying it down, says he, "They want to speak us." I
again renewed my entreaties; the captain ordered to
take in sail. When the vessel came up, she proved to
be a small schooner from Nova Scotia, bound to Liverpool, laden with rum; had encountered a storm three
days previous; her decks were swept, and almost a
wreck, with only five gallons of water on board.
" Now, captain," says I, "had you known their situation you would have lain by all day for them." Says
he, "I would."  "Well, sir," says I, "I hope you will
remember this." -(At this time we were about the
middle of the Atlantic.) Our captain told them to
launch their boat, and he would give them a cask of
water. They replied, their boat was stove, and would
not live in the water. We then lowered our small boat,
rolled a hogshead of water overboard; three of our




(6      ~     LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
men in the boat dragged it to the schooner, where it
was hoisted on board. They gave the three men as
much rum as they would drink, besides a quart-bottle
full to each. They also sent a demijohn, containing
five gallons, with a quantity of onions and lemons, for
the captain. As our men came on board, I observed
the bottles under their jackets; I followed them below
to ascertain what they had got, and found it as above
stated (observe, I was the only cabin passengerthere were twenty-two in the steerage). It was now
eleven o'clock, A. M.; the heavens began to gather
blackness, and, as I thought, threatened a storm. I
told the captain the situation of the three men; the
liquor they had drank on board the schooner already
made them unfit for duty. " Now," says I, " when the
others go down to dinner they will drink the three
bottles, which will make them all drunk; and as the
sky looks threatening, it may be attended with serious
consequences." I therefore advised that he would go
in the forecastle and get from them two of the bottles,
which afterwards he might divide among them when
necessary. He shrugged his shoulders, and said there
was no danger.
Twelve o'clock, P. M. it blew fresh. While the captain and I were at dinner I heard considerable noise
on deck between the mate and'men, but said nothing.
As was my custom after dinner, I was sitting on the
forecastle smoling my pipe.  A woman from the
steerage, with a child in her arms, came flying along
and screaming with all her might, "! Mr. Thorburn,
Mr. Thorburn, come, come, the -captain is murdering
the men!" I Wlade for midships as fast as possible,




GRANT THORBURN.             77
when I beheld the captain with a broadsword, swinging away among the crew like a man thrashing oats.
In about an hour after, when the uproar had nearly
ceased, I learned that the men had drunk up all the
rum, as I predicted. The gale had increased almost to
a storm, as I predicted. The sails wanted handling, but
the crew were top-heavy and bottom-heavy, and when
ordered, first by the mate and then by the captain, they
were unable to go aloft. He ordered one of them to
be tied up and flogged; the others resisted; he ran for
his sword, and was flourishing away like a sans-culotte
in the streets of Paris, when I arrived at the scene of
action. Among our hands was a strong, active fellow
by the name of Tom: he was with Commander Porter,
in the Little Essex, when she fought the two British
s8loops of war till the blood of the whole crew had nearly
run out at the scuppers. This man seized the captain's
arm, wrenched the sword from his hand, and next
moment it skimmed the waves like a sea-gull. The
captain sprung into the cabin at three steps, returned
with both hands full of pistols, and began firing away
like one of our Pearl street Invincibles, in the Park, on
the 4th of July. Finally, the crew laid hold of the
captain, pistols and all, pushed him down the cabin
stairs, and shut the door. During all this affray, the
mate stood holding on by the fore-chains, and trembling
like a dog on a sand-heap. - He was apoor milk-andwater-looking son of a woman: he looked more like a
psalm-singer from Danbury, than a mate on the quarterdecl of a ship. Having sailed from New York with
this captain and crew, I knew the trim of all of them.
I was on very good terms with the men, having lent




78            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
them books to read when they had leisure. With the
help of the mate, passengers, and such of the crew
as were able to work, we got the ship in safe trim. I
then went down to the captain. He was& as mad as a
ifarch hare. I told him there was a ship to leeward:
he took his glass, and after a minute's observation, said
she was bound to the States; and addedb he would run
down, go on board of her, and leave the ship to the
mate. I used every argument to dissuade him from
this, without effect. I then went and got two of the
women passengers out of the steerage, each having a
child in her arms. I hastily told them how they should
play their part. (You will here observe, he had a wife
and children in New York, of whom he appeared very
fond, as nothing pleased him so much as conversing
about them.) We now descended into the cabin, renewed the attack on the side of domestic economy,
spoke to him of his own wife and children, &c. The
tears of the mothers, and smiles of the babes, at length
prevailed: he consented to stay by the ship. (Perhaps
it may be well to remark, by the way, that if this man
had been a bachelor, we might have all gone to the
bottom, for in this case he could have.had no fellowfeeling for either wives or children.)' By this time we
had neared the vessel, and was preparing to speak, she
lying-to for us. I requested the captain to say nothing
about our situation, as by her sailing it was likely she
would make New York a week before us (we got in
first by two days, however), and the news would give
his family and mine much uneasiness: to this he assented. The ship was the Comet, from Havre to New
York,




GRANT THORBURN.             79
But here our troubles were only commencing. He
told me next morning he was resolved to make for
Halifax, and deliver over to the British authorities his
mutineers. I told him, as soon as the men got knowledge of his intention they would throw him overboard
(as they knew the British government made short work
with such characters), then make the first land, and run
off. So by this means we passengers may all go to
Davy's locker. IHe finally proposed, that if the passengers would divide themselves into watches (there
were seventeen men, nine to go with him, and I with
eight others on the mate's watch), he would keep on
his course. I then dived into the steerage, and had' a
vast deal of trouble to get the men to comply; they all
said the captain was to blame for not taking the liquor
from the men. I said it mattered nothing to us now
who was to blame; but if he steered for HIalifax, and
we went to the bottom, they would never see New
York. With many more frightful words I labored to
persuade them. At length the women and children
began to cry, and the men were compelled to give in.
I then told them the captain had another request, which
was, that every man who had either a gun or a fowlingpiece should loan them to him till our arrival at New
York; with this they also refused to comply: at length
they offered me their guns to carry into the cabin; I
told'them I cared no more for the captain than for the
crew, only in as far as our own safety was concerned,
and provided we once had our foot in New York, he
and they might go to Ifackensack, in the Jerseys, for
any thing I cared: but says I, gentlemen, half measures
won't do now; don't behave like children, but act like




80            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
men; every one of you shoulder his musket, walk down
in the cabin; the men will thus see you are determined
to support the captain's authority, right or wrong; if he
has injured them, they can get redress by the laws of
their own country; but let us look to ourselves. This
had the desired effect; they up with their pieces (seven
in number), went off into the cabin, while I remained
behind. The crew eyed them askant, but I saw their
insolent looks had fled, and were replaced with something like fear. The captain then ordered two of the
men to be confined in the forecastle, to be fed on bread
and water till we arrived at New York, and threatened
to shoot them if he caught them abaft the windlass.
One of the confined was Tom aforesaid, a desperate
mad fellow; he swore he would not be so treated, and
threatened to come on deck. I advised him to submit,
and if he sued the captain when we arrived, I would
assist him as far as was right. He was fond of reading, and I supplied him and his fellow-prisoner with
books, which made the tim'e pass more easily. But
between them and the captain I had my hands full;
the latter was very passionate, and when in this state
was not to be controlled; however, he was passionately
fond of music and Scotch songs. We had a few Paisley weavers among the passengers who could sing and
play well; I gave them the hint, and whenever the evil
spirit was upon him, I stepped into the steerage% J.
M'[Farlain and lhis bass mate straightway were on deck,
exerting their powers, vocal and instrumental; the
sounds never failed to absorb all his attention, and in
this way we kept down the evil spirit, just as David of
old played the devil out of Saul. From this night till




GRANT THORBURN.               81
our arrival in. New York (three weeks) the other passengers and I stood our regular watches with the captain, mate, and crew,-no very pleasant affair, you may
be sure, to mount vwatch at eight, turn in at twelve, rise
again at four, and stand till eight; but the thought of
home, and hopes of meeting them I held most dear,
still kept my spirits up. -Were life's voyage never
clouded in tempests, we could not s6 sweetly relish the
sunshine of prosperity. These events took place in the
cold dark stormy nights of October. Often ini'me
beginning of my watch have we shipped a sea%:Jn
drenched to the skin, walked the deck four so]itary
hours; yet I was not sick for an hour, nor ever caught
the slightest cold. On the 3d of November we arrived,
after fifty-six days' passage. Finding all well more
than repaid me for all my past troubles. As soon as
the ship struck the wharf, the hands jumped on shore
and run off, the captain offering no hindrance. Next
day the following appeared in the "' New York Gazette,"
4th November, 1818.
"A CARD. —We, the passengers on board the ship
iris, from Greenock, return our thanks to Captain J. S.
for his care and attention to our health and safety
during the voyage; also to Mr. Grant Thorburn, of
New York, cabin passenger, for his mild and conciliatory exertions in suppressing and averting the consequences, of an alarming dispute among the crew, whereby our lives and the safety of the vessel were for some
time in imminent danger.
(Signed)    J.Mns ANDERSON,
JOHN LAWRENjCE,
In behalf of the other passengers."
4*




82            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
It's of no use for a man to write his journal, except
he can get it printed, otherwise nobody will know that
he has been travelling at all; and as I kept one when
journeying to the Bay State, in Jiune, 1829, I will here
occupy a few pages in giving it publicity.
I heard much of a country peopled by the daughters
of Puritans and sons of the Pilgrims; and, besides,
that of late years they had made such rapid advances
in what they termed rational reZigion, that I thought
itras there and then that the millennium, so inuch
spoken of in the " Progress of the Pilgrim," was about
to commence. I was anxious to see this people, not to
take the height of their cornstalks, nor the diameter of
their pumpkins; but among them I thought was to be
found the perfection of the church militant, and I
longed to see a sight so imposing. You will see in the
sequel how sadly I was disappointed. But I'll begin
witlh Fulton slip, from which we started, in the steanlboat Franklin. After we passed the Gates of Hell,
and got over the Hog's Back, two dangerous rocks in
the Sound, on the eastern shore of Manhattan Island,
the captain, knowing from former experience that his
goodly boat knew the road well enough to go by herself, turned his attention to more important matters.
He sent forth a little boy, his face as black as Lehigh
coal; a bell, white as silver, in his hand, went tinkle,
tinkle, round the deck. "Passengers will go to the
captain's office. and pay their fare." (Thinks I, these
Yankees have their office of deposits everywhere.) I
was carried along with the crowd, and came to a stand
with my head right under the port-hole, or office-window,
as they called it; when up dame squeezing a long



GRANT THORBURN.             83
legged fellow, and shoved me aside like a thing of
naught. Says I, "Sir, in New York he who comes
first with his pail to the pump gets it first filled." He
looked down on me-that was all; he held between
his finger and thumb, while it floated with the breeze,
a fifty-dollar bill,-as much as to say, you see I have
more money in my purse than wit in my head. Captain Bunker, with one eye observed the manceuvre,
while with the other he was giving change from a tendollar bill. Says he," "Mr. T., it's your turn next (I
wondered where he got my name); you are getting
squeezed among these big men; "I'll let you go."
Mr. Long-legs looked as flat as a pancake without yeast.
This wee bit of civility from the captain gave me a
good opinion of his heart and head. Having nothing
else to do, I observed him through the passage, upstairs and down-stairs, sunlight and moonlight; he was
always doing the thing as it ought to be; always goodnatured and laughing. I believe if he stood in a storm
on the last plank of his boat he would smile; though
he looks like one that would never give up the ship
while two of her timbers hung together.
Next morning we saw Newport. I wondered to see
a -great heap.of men, I dare say near a hundred of
them, bigging up something like a great stone dyke,
with windows in it. I asked the captain what it was
for. He said they were making a battery of one hundred and fifty guns for the protection of Newport. I
thought their poverty would be a good protection for
them. I asked if the men wrought by the day or the
job. He-said, by the day, he believed. I thought so;
for from the time the boat came near enough to see the




84            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
white of their eyes, till we had passed them so far that
we could not tell the color of their coat, they stood
gaping and looking; and from a hundred men, with
each a hammer in his hand, you could not hear a stroke
in a minute.
I asked if the town or state paid them? He answered,
it was Uncle Sam paid them. Oho! thinks I, this
solves the whole mystery; these men will never finish
this till another job as good comes to. hand. Poor
Uncle Sam has not only to pay his stewards high
wages for collecting his rents, but some of them share
off twenty-five or thirty per cent. for commissions; and
others, knowing that their reign will be short (as the
next man who comes into power will kick them out of
doors), make the most of their time, and so become
defaulters for the whole. I really wonder how Uncle
Sam gets along so well as he does.
At'Providence, coaches were ready; we flew through
the dust and sweat of the day like Jehu. At the
tavern of  -, the dinner was ready, but there was no
contract for time to eat; after grace from Dr. Cox
(which I thought was too long for the occasion), we
began to eat. Scarcely had I swallowed half of my
first course, when in came the driver hallooing, " All
ready!" I thought there was something like a stableyard understanding between him and the landlord;
for, while we were brushing the dust from our clothes,
mustering, and saying grace, he was eating and drinking as fast as he could, and I did not observe that he
paid any thing. Having a fine stern breeze, we flew
along at the rate of ten knots an hour, amidst clouds
of smoke and dust. All along ]bcould see houses, and




GRANT THORBURN.              85
doors, and windows, and folks looking out of them;
but I had no time to inquire either into their principles
or practice: so I wisely resolved (as I thought) to suspend all further inquiries till I got to Boston, setting
down in my mind, that if I found the fountain pure,
the streams would be pure also. We arrived at the
Eagle Tavern about sundown; the ladies' hats and
frocks, which in the steamboat showed colors enough
to have decked fifteen rainbows, were now one, viz.,
ashes on ashes, and dust on dust.
Next day being Saturday, as I could not prosecute
my main inquiry, I went to Bunker's Hill. By the
monument I stood with feelings all my own: the history
of that battle brought to my mind the first of my newspaper recollections; but a tale hangs there, which I
have not time to repeat, nor" a wish to tell to every
ear-but the monument-I wish it were finished. The
young ladies of Boston can do it alone. Let them with
one consent place a neat little box on every sideboard;
when their young friend presents them with a boxticket, receive it with thanks, and add, "Now we are
going to finish the monument-for one year from this
date we will suspend this pleasure."  Let the price of
the tickets be placed in that box, and our monument of
gratitude will rise. The Boston Elm, a monument of
antiquity-I stood under its shadows with great delight,
and thought of former days.- Were a neat stone fence
two feet high; and an iron railing three feet more,
placed round this tree, it would protect its bark from
the knife of idle boys, and its roots from -the foot of the
ox; six wagon-loads of good fresh mould laid on the
surface would help to invigorate its old age; one dollar




6             LIMFE END WRITINGS OF
from each of the owners of those princely mansions
round the mall would accomplish this.
I rose about five on Sabbath morning, resolving to
examine the exterior and interior of the churches.
Whenever I could spy a steeple for a guide, into most
of them I found access, as the sextons were either dusting inside or sweeping outside. I thought this was
hardly consistent with purity, for they might give the
man a dollar a week more, and he would do this work
on Saturday afternoon. I was struck with the grandeur
of all of them (they beat-our New York churches hollow). I was pleased that they did not let the house of
God lie in ruins, while they themselves were living in
palaces. But there was such a wonderful profusion of
scarlet curtains and scarlet cushions behind the pews
and before the pews, behind the pulpit and before the
pulpit, I thought it had an awful squinting at the
mother of harlots riding on the scarlet beast, whereof
you may see a more particular account in the 17th
chapter of the Revelations, from the first verse to the
end. In another church, where the back of the pulpit
was near as broad as the east end of the City Hotel, in
Broadway, was an anchor hung up, large enough for
the Washington 74; and, in place of tarred ropes, it
was bound round the stock with fine scarlet cords; the
wall was covered with scarlet cloth. I- should think
there was a hundred yards of it, which hung in beautiful festoons over the flukes of the anchor. The sexton
told me the cloth and anchor was made a present to the
church by a single gentleman, and that it cost a thousand dollars. Presuming the man was a bachelor, as
the words single gentleman seemed to imply, I thought




GRANT THORBURN.              87
he had better have bought furniture with the one thousand dollars, and gone to housekeeping with one of
those bonny lasses I saw playing under the elm-tree;
and he had better have painted the back of the pulpit a
good sky-blle color, and given the balance to the poor
missionaries, or even to one of the. Female Auxiliary
Temperance Societies, whereby these kind-hearted creat-res would have been enabled to feed and clothe a few
score of these poor starving brats, whose fathers drink
up all their money in rum, because the bread is so dear.
But I don't mean to enter into the merits of this case.
I only tell you what I thought: this was a rational
church, and I dare say the man thought he was acting
on rational principles, and that is enough for me,
especially as I found the puritan churches decked out
pretty much in the same manner- nothing but the
eternal red scarlet everywhere, like the hats of the fat
cardinals at Rome.
At ten the bell rang, as it does in New York: the
minister told the folks to join with him in singing to
tke praise and glory of God. Had you seen me at this
moment, with mouth open, and eyes staring with surprise, when, instead of joining with him in singing to
the praise and glory of God, up starts a long string of
young lads and lasses, who sung out most lustily to the
praise and glory of thernselves, and behind them was an
organ, roaring as loud as the arms of the man and the
wind of the bellows could make it: I thought, if this be
worship, a pair of Scotch bag-pipes might do as well.
I turned to see how the minister brooked the affront, as
no one joined with him; when lo! there he stood as
mute as a mummy, his psalm-book shut, a hand on




LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
each side of the pulpit, supporting his noble frame; his
face, instead of displaying anger (as I expected), was
almost mantling with a complacent smile, as he looked
under the broad brims of the lasses' hats, and seemed
absorbed in contemplating the sweetness of their warbling throats. His ruddy cheek and glistening brow
told me in accents louder than the organ's roar, that,
however satisfied he might be to worship God by proxy,
he did not carry the'principle into the ordinary walks
of life-at least in as far as eating and drinking was
concerned. By the time they had sung a verse, I found
it was a good old Scotch tune, by the name of French,
they were at; and as I had joined with a thousand
voices in the old Grayfriars' Kirk, Edinburgh, fol:ty
years ago, in singing "' David's Psalms" to this same
tune, I up with my book, turned my back to the minister, like the rest, and sung away as loud as I could,
keeping time with the lads up stairs. The folks stared:
one said, ".He is a Yorker"- others that I was daft;
but, thinks I, they may laugh that win; I am doing
my duty in joining with the lasses (if the minister
won't) in singing praise, and at any rate, am leaving
testimony against this anti-puritan mode of worship;
so I sung on to the end of the hymn. Thinks I to myself, these folks' religion may be rational enough for
aught that I know; but they appear to me to have a
queer way of showing it. I thought how much better this
thing is done in Scotland. Professor Silliman, in his
journey through that country, takes notice of being in
the Tron Kirk of Edinburgh, where generally about a
thousand people assemble for worship on Sabbath days.
He says-they all joined, men, women, and children, in




GRANT THORBVRN.               89
singing the Scotch version of the Psalms: it made him
feel as if standing on the outside of heaven's walls, and
hearing the sound as the sound of many waters, &c.,
ahd it thrilled his very soul. These are not the exact
words (as I have not his book by me), but they are the
substance.
In the afternoon I went to another church, to-see if I
could find any thing more pure. The minister, after
inviting the people to join with him, &c., having read
a hymn, and the organ played a solo, a woman, dressed
pretty enough, and her cheeks I thought rather more
ruddy than nature commonly paints them in the month
of June, got up and sang most sweetly all alone by
herself, praise and glory in the name of the whole congregation, as I could neither see man nor minister that
joined her: nothing was -heard but -her sweet pipes,
and the tin pipes of the organ. After I got out, I
asked a decent-looking man who she was that sung?
HIe said she belonged to the play-actor folk; and, if
he was rightly informed, had been singing at twelve
o'clock the night previous, in one of the theatres, to the
praise and glory of the devil.  The puritan church
paid he`' three hundred dollars, and the devil's church
six hundred dollars per annum; so, between the two,
she cuts a bright figure. I said to myself, if one of
those stern old pilgrims who landed on PI2ymouth rock
that cold stormy day, with their noses as red as a
northwest moon, were to enter now, how these piginy
degenerates would sneak into mice-holes! To return(but I must observe, that all the ministers I heard in
this eastern country are readers, not preachers of the
Gospel). After the woman had finished her song the




~90           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
minister made a very decent prayer. In it he besought
the Lord to lay plentifully to his hands of the food of
souls, &c. Now, thinks I, we will have a preaching.
Well, his prayer finished, without a blush on his face,
he pulls from his pocket a roll of black leather, in form
of a tobacco-pouch; from this he unrolls about a sheet
of paper, and, without ever opening the Bible, reads a
text from the head of the sheet, and so reads on till he
comes to Amen, at the end of the sheet. I wondered
at the indecency (to call it no worse) of the man. Did
he think he was addressing a stock or a stone, that did
not hear him? Did he suppose his MIaker did not
know that all the food he was about to deal out to the
hungry souls before him was in his pocket? I have
heard this same mode of prayer used by reading ministers in New York. I hope hereafter they will pray
for the blessing of light, and eyesight, and the use of
their tongue; for, by this system of reading, I had
almost said they put it out of the power of God Almighty to help them. I have been to Guilford and
Stonington, to Bambury and Danbury —everywhere
they read their sermons, and sing praise by prQxy.
It was harvest, and very warm. Saturday was-fine
for getting in the grain: it was full moon. Many of
the farmers kept their men-servants and maid-servants,
their oxen and their jackasses, at work till one o'clock
on Sunday morning. At half-past ten they got all to
church. The minister began to read off his task; but
scarcely had he got to thirdly, when I looked round
and found they were all asleep except a few old women
(and they would have been asleep also, but having
dozed for the last forty years under the droppings of




GRANT THORBURN.              91
this drowsy preaching, for the life of them they could
not sleep an hour longer), and about two dozen of Sunday scholars in the gallery, who were cutting sticks to
make windmills. I observed that the teachers, male
and female, were asleep, and the minister was reading
the dead languages:  To keep myself awake, my
thoughts run ahead in. the following strain:-Before
this J never could comprehend what was the employment of those chaps in Yale College who are called
professors of the dead languages. I now felt satisfied
that it must be they who teach the young Yankees to
read sermons; but what a pity the old farmers, their
fathers, should squeeze and starve all the rest of the
family to raise forty dollars per month, to pay board
and fees, and fire and candles, and pens and paper, to
teach a boy to read sermons in New Haven. Only
send them to New York, and-we will teach them for
ten shillings per month to read nearer to the poinits
than many whom I heard; and they can buy for one
hundred as many sermons as they can read in fifty
years: this, too, would save a great deal of paper, for
a sermon reads just as well when printed as written.
We have heard much of the march of intellect since
the days of the pilgrims; but with regard to pulpit
life, oratory, and eloquence,- it has been in an awful
retrograde line. Cotton Illather, and his contemporary
champions of truth, would preach hours on a stretch
without a paper within a mile of them except their
Bible. The Edwardses and Witherspoons, the Rogerses
and Lins, the Livingstons and Masons, made the souls
of their hearers, as well as the walls of their churches,
tremble, with their extempore pulpit eloquence. Now




92            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
we have boys fresh from the college; their beards as
soft as the down on a mushroom-top; green spectacles to
hide their conscious shame, reading from a dead paper
to a company of dead souls, and with a manner, too,
as dead as the devil (who always attends church) could
wish it. Why, if these men were to go into congress,
the bench, or even the theatre so, they would be kicked
from the hall, or hissed from the stage; Is it not a
shame, to say the least of it, that a man in congress,
or in a court of justice, will speak hours to the purpose,.and often in support of a doubtful point, without
paper, and yet a minister of thy Gospel, who has the
range of three worlds-heaven, earth, and hell-with
all the sublime doctrines of the Bible at his finger-ends,
can't speak forty minutes without a quire of paper held
up as an extinguisher of truth between his eyes and
the eyes of his hearers  If you want to convince men
in argument, they must see the fire of truth flash from
your eyes. When Paul stood before Felix, and reasoned of -righteousness, temperance, and a future judgment, his eyes kindled with the mighty theme, darting
conviction through the eyes of the tyrant into the dark
corners of his guilty, black, iron-bound soul-case, which
made him tremble on his throne,-yes, on his throne,
and before a prisoner in chains, too. Truth, when well
spoken (not read), will make any tyrant tremble.
There is no excuse for this banisher of pulpit eloquence-laziness is the cause. Forty years ago, you
would rarely have seen a paper in any pulpit in New
York. The abilities of our young men are as good now
as they were then; memory, like all faculties of the
mind, will improve by using; ministers only, of all




GRANT THORBURN.               93
public speakers, take neither pride nor pains to excel.
Were I a minister, I would throw my paper in the fire,
and say, I will be second to none, were it only for the
honor of the profession.' The ministers in the devil's
church, the theatre, deal out their fictions and lies in
such a solemn strain of eloquent pathos, that they can
chain the attention of their audience, and bathe them in
tears for hours; but many of the ministers of the Most
High deal out their solemn realities as if they were
mere fictions, and they can barely keep the people from
going to sleep. The "'thoughts that breathe and words
that burn" never flowed from off a paper. One Sabbath
evening, about seventeen years ago, I went into the
brick meeting to hear Dr. W., from Connecticut, preach.
There he stood, with all the insignia of office-white
bands, silk cloak, and tassels enough to bedeck a
modern hearse-a tall, fine-looking man. I thought he
was Boanerges personified. Out came his paper: he
read along pretty well for fifteen minutes. The thwunder began to roll over Snake Hill, in the Jerseys; the
heavens were clothed in darkness, his spectacles failed,
and he was obliged to sit down, till the sexton procured
lighted candles. I thought this spoke more than volutxes against the pernicious practice of reading. However, next- day I learned he had been a professor of
theology for seven years previous, and being a man of
a very charitable turn of mind, I thought it was probable he might have given away whatever little stock of
divinity he once possessed, for the benefit of those
young students whose heads he had been polishing, and
thereby left nothing to himself. I also learned he had
been a preacher for twenty years, ten of which he had




94:           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
passed away under the title of doctor of divinity; but
there he sat, and could not speak one word for his
Master, without the help of paper, ink, and candlelight. Such were my reflections returning home in the
steamboat Washington, Captain Comstock.
But I have said nothing of the town. The men were
kind, sociable, and sober., I heard it said that their
temperance societies existed long before the Revolution.
The merchants are not quite so bustling as in New
York, but I think they do it more cannily. You meet
very few by two o'clock who have five hundred dollars
short painted on their countenance. Their markets are
fine, neat, and clean-all shut up as-tight as a store at
night. No drunken, dirty rascal sleeps there at night,
as in our markets, on the stalls, till -aroused in the
morning by the butcher throwing down his quarters of
beef. Their provision-shops are well supplied, and are
a great convenience to the inhabitants-a blessing we
are deprived of in New York by law. The ladies are
handsome, intelligent, and good-natured.




GRANT THORBURN.                     95
CHAPTER X.
PURCHASE THE FRIENDS' MEETING-HOUSE AND GROUNDS.-INSTANCE OF SPECIAL PROVIDENCE.-THOMAS PAINE.-ANECDOTE OF HIM.-HIS NARROW
ESCAPE FROM EXECUTION IN FRANCE.-EFFECTS OF INFIDELITY IN FRANCE.GENERAL MOREAU.
DURING the time I was gardening in New Jersey, I
sunk twelve thousand dollars and upwards; but when,
in 1825, I made the purchase of the Friends' MeetingHouse, this loss was providentially made up to me in
one day, inasmuch as I paid twenty thousand five
hundred dollars for the Meeting-Hodse and ground,
and in a- few days thereafter was offered forty thousand, and again was offered fifty thousaand and -upwards.. The house was situated in Liberty street, and
had been occupied by the Society as a place of burial,
school, and meeting-house,* for upwards of 140 years.
For the following reasons I think I see the kind hand
of Providencein this matter.  As it was a transaction
of great importance, I earnestly prayed for direction
from Him who has said, "Acknowledge *me in all your
* It is another curious incident in my life, that I was making nails on
the opposite side of the street at the time the Meeting-House (afterwards my store) was building-part o( the nails used were made by
myself. \ Little thought my good fridends (the Quakers), while they were
paying me for nails to assist in rearing the Meeting-House, that, at the
same time, they were preparing for m6 a shop, wherein to sell seeds —
but so Providence orders our lot.




'96           LIFE AND wRITINGS OoF
ways, and I will direct your steps." I did so, and I
think he directed me in that important kmatter; for, 1st,
Every step I took towards furthering my views succeeded'beyond my expectations. 2d, Every time I
went to see any of the persons concerned in the sale, I
always found them at home, and- did the business I
went about without once going on what we call a needless
errand. 3d, I bought it at private sale —a circum-.
stance which had not happened, in the sale of so much
valuable property in the lower part of the city, for very
many years. The circumstance is mo e remarkable, as
several individuals had also applied to make a purchase; also the New York Athenow.nm, and other public bodies; besides several gentl.emen, who wished to
hiave it for building lots. Likewise, a company of gentlemen in the lower part cf the city had a plan laid out,
and a company organized so purchase it at any rate, for
the "pVlose of converting it into a select school for
their daughters. In this state of things each party'was
preparing for the contest of public sale. One broker
since told me that he was authorized to bid as high as
$32,000. I purchased six lots for $26,000, M[r. Tilletson paying $5200: so our four lots oneLiberty street,
with the building, cost us only $20,800. Every one
who knew the circumstance was surprised, and unable
to conceive a reason for its being sold at private sale.
Under the above circumstances, for my own part, I can
only say that so Providence ordered it should come to
our hands; for, had it come to public sale, it would,%ge..gone far higher than our business would afford:to
)ay" the'interest for the puirchase money.
Our expenses in erecting a green-house, and other




GRANT THORBURN.               97
necessary fixtures for carrying on our business to
advantage, were great; however, our sales so increased,
that we were able to meet the demands.
The following is one out of many instances in which
Providence directed me,'almost by miracle, in the
furtherance of the seed establishment. In April; 1803,
I commenced the selling of seeds. One evening, in
the fall of the year, a merchant gave me an order for a
quantity of spring-wheat: at that time I knew not
there was such an article in use. However, I promised
to get it if possible. At the same time there lived, at
the corner of Stone and Mill streets, a grain-broker, by
the name of Reynolds. Next morning I started with
the intention of making my first inquiry of him. Having a small bill against Mr. Henry Coster, whose office
was situated in William street, directly opposite the
post-office, I took it along with me, as it lay in my
way. When I entered the office, Mr. Coster wad conversing with'a gentleman; Mr. Coster inquired my
business, and insisted that I should stop: their conversation continuing, I again offered to retire, but was
prevented by Mr. Coster, who observed he should be
at leisure presently. In a few minutes the gentleman
went out; I finished my business, and, just as I crossed
over to the post-office, I met J. Patrick coming out
with a handful of letters. As we were going the same
way, his office being on the west side of Old Slip, we
kept company, talking about the weather, &c., till we
came to the corner of Stone street. Just as I was
turning to pursue my original intention of calling on
Reynolds, at the corner of Mill street, says Mr. Patrick,
"Mr. Thorburn, as you are a seedsman, do you know
*.N~~




98            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
of any one.who wants a quantity of spring-wheat,
which was sent me yesterday from Hudson V" Surprise
prevented me from answering for a few monments: I
did not tell him I was in pursuit of the article, but we
walked to hisstore, when I m'ade an easy purchase of
the whole. Returning and ruminating on the circumstances and occurrences of the last half hour, I thought
I would still call on Reynolds. He had no springwheat, nor did he know where it could be found. IHe
said very few raised it, and it was seldom brought to
the city.
Thus, you see, had I not met Mr. Patrick at that
precise moment, I should have gone on a needless
errand; and had not Mr. Coster twice detained me,
against my wishes, I should not have met Mr. Patrick
coming out of the post-office.
I could relate many such instances, in which I could
see the directing hand of Providence, and abundant
proofs that not a sparrow falls to the ground without
the notice of our heavenly Father:
In each event of life how clear
Thy ruling hand I see!
Each blessing to my soul more dear,
Because conferred by Thee.
When I look back I remember some ludicrous anc
curious scenes in which I have been part actor. I have
come in contact with several of the men whose names
have borne a conspicuous part in the history of the last
forty years: such as Thomas Paine, General Moreau,
&c. When Thomas Paine escaped from the dungeon
of the Committee of Safety, men whom the writings of




GRXANT THORBURN.            9
Paine, and such as Paine, had turned into monsters,
he put up at the City Hotel in this city. One morning,
about nine o'clock, a person came in my store and
stated that he was standing on the steps in front. As
I lived in the next street, and being anxious to see him,
I, with two gentlemen who happened to be in the store
at the time, went round to have a 16ook at him; but before we got there, he stepped in. While I stood considering how to get a sight of him, I observed Samuel
Loudon, the printer, enter the' hotel. As I knew
Samuel and he were copatriots through the whole of
the American Revolution, I presumed he was going to
see his old friend. I proposed to my companions to
go in; and as I was acquainted with Mr. Loudon, We
would thus get introduced. They declined going. As
I went alone, I asked the waiter —
"Is Mr. Paine at home?" " Yes."
"In his own room 2" "Yes."
"Alone?" " Yes."
" Can I see him?" " Follow me."
He ushered me into a spacious room, where the
table was set for breakfast —a gentleman at the table
writing, another reading the paper. At the further
end of the room a long, lank, coarse-looking figure
stood with his back to the fire. From the resemblance
to portraits I had seen in his Riights of _ian I knew it
was Paine. While I followed the waiter, presuming
Paine was alone, I was preparing an exordium to introduce myself to a plain republican alone; but when
I thus found myself in company with the great author
of " Common Sense," for a moment I was at a stand.
Says 1, " Gentlemen, is Mr. Paine in this.room?", le




00           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
stepped towards me and answered, " My name is
Paine." I held out my hand, and while I held his,
says I, "Mr. Paine, and you, gentlemen, will please
excuse my abrupt entry; I came out of mere curiosity
to see the man whose writings have made so much
noise in the world." Paine answered, "I am very
glad jyour curiosity is so easily satisfied." Says I,
"Good morning, gentlemen;" walked out, and shut
the door behind me. I heard them all burst out into
a loud laugh. Thinks I, they may laugh that win;
I have seen Paine, and, all things considered, have
made a good retreat. The gentlemen called the waiter,
and inquired who that was. "It is Thorburn, the
seedsman." They reported the matter at the coffeehouse, and among their acquaintances. As the story
travelled, it was told with all manner of additions.
One was, that I told Paine he was a rascal; had it not
been for his books I would never have left my native
country, &c., &c. In short, there was nothing heard
for many days but Thorburn's visit to Mr. Paine.
At that time I was clerk, or psalm-singer, in the
Scotch Presbyterian church in Cedar street, of which
the famous Dr. John M. Mason was the minister. The
church-session caught the diarm; an extra meeting was
called. To be sure I was not noticed to attend-perhaps they were afraid of contamination from one who
had shaken hands with:Mr. Paine. Be that as it may,
I was spended from offiqc for some months.
A few ydars after this, when Paine had fallen into
disrepute, and his company shunned by the more respectable of his friends, on account of his unpopular
writings and hard drinking, he boarded in the house




GRINT THORBUIM.             101
of one William Carver, a blacksmith and horse-doctor.
This Carver and I had wrought journeywork together
in the same shop ten years before that period; so,
having free access to the house, I frequently called to
converse with Mr. Paine. One evening he related the
following anecdote:-He said it was in the reign of
Robespierre, when every republican that the monster
could get in his power was cut down by the axe of the
guillotine, Paine was in the dungeon, and his name on
the list, with twenty more, ordered for execution next
morning. It was customary for the clerk of the tribunal to go through the cells at night, and put a cross
with chalk on the back of the door of such as were to
be guillotined in the morning. When the executioner
came round with his guard, wherever they found a
chalk the victim was brought forth. There was a long
passage in the cellar, or dungeon, of this bastile, having
a row of cells on each side, containing the prisoners.
The passage was secured at each end, but the doors
of the cells were chiefly left open, and sometimes the
prisoners stepped into one another's room to converse.
Paine had gone into the next cell, and left his door
open, back to the wall; thus having the inside out.
Just then came the challkrs, and, probably, being
drunk, crossed the inside of Paine's door. Next morning, when the guard came with an -order to bring out
twenty, and finding only nineteen chalks (Paine being
in bed, and his door shut), they took a prisoner from
the further end of the passage, and thus made up the
number. So Mr. Paine escaped; and, before the mistake was discovered (about forty-eight hours after), a
stronger party than Spirie's cut off his head, and about




102          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
thirty of his associates; and so Paine was set at liberty. But being afraid to trust his head any longer
among these good democrats, for whom he had written
so much, he made the best of his way for this country.
I -asked him what he thought of his almost miraculous escape. He said, " The Fates had ordained he was
not -to die at that, time." Says I, "Mr. Paine, I will
tell you exactly what I think: you know you have
written and spoken much against what we call the religion of the Bible; you have highly extolled the perfectibility of human reason when left to its own guidance, unshackled by priestcraft and superstition; the
God in whom you live, move, and have your being, has
spared your life that you might give'to the world a
living comment on your own doctrines. You now show
to the world what human nature is when left to itself,
to wander in its own counsels; here you sit, in an obscure, uncomfortable dwelling, powdered with snuff,
and stupefied with brandy; you, who were once the
companion of Washington, Jay, and Hamilton, are now
deserted by every good man; and even respectable
dbists cross the streets to avoid you." He said, " Ie
cared not a straw for the opinions of the world." Says
I, "I envy not your feelings." So we parted. In short,
he was the most disgusting human being you could
meet in the street. Through the effect of intemperance
his countenance was bloated beyond description-he
looked as if God had stamped his face with the mark
of Cain. A few of his disciples, who stuck to him
through good and through bad report, to hide him
from the gaze of men, had him conveyed to Greenwich,
where they supplied him with brandy till he died.




GRANT THORBURN.             103
One evening, shortly after he gave me the history of
his escape from the guillotine,. I found him in company
with a number of his disciples, as usual abusing the
Bible for being the cause of every thing that' is bad in
the world. As soon as I got an opportunity to edge in
a word, says I, "1 Mr. Paine, you have been in Ireland,
and other Roman Catholic countries, where the common
people are -not allowed to read the Bible; you have
been in Scotland, where every man, woman, and child
has the Bible in their hands; now, if the Bible were so
bad a book, they who used it most would be the worst
people. In Scotland, the peasantry are intelligent,
comfortable, sober, and industrious; in Ireland, they
are ignorant, drunken, and live but little better than
the brutes. In New York, the watch-house, bridewell,
alms-house, penitentiary, and states-prison, are filled
with Irish; but you won't find a Scotchman in these
places." This being an historical fact which he could
not deny, and the clock having just struck ten,' he
took a candle from the table and walked up stairs,
ieaviIig his friends and myself to draw out own con-'clusions.
Mr. Paine was very fond of company; but his habits
being intemperate, his chief associates were mostly
among the second orders in society. From my acquaintance with William  Carver, the blacksmith, at
the corner of Cedar and Temple streets, I often used to
spend the evening conversing with Mr. Paine. He
had seen much of men and their manners; had a clear,
strong head, but (as I thought) a very unsound heart.
Politics and religion were the chief topics of our discourse. We agreed on the former; on the latter we




104           LIFE AND WRffNGdM OF
differed, but always in a friendly way. One evening
he was describing, in his usual strong manner, the mischiefs (as he termed it) produced in society by the
Bible and its followers. Says I, " Mr. Paine, the'first
night IAelept in America was-on a hard mattres, laid
on the floor of a close garret, in a hot night in the warm
month of June-the place swarmed with mosquitoes
and other doomes8tc animals, and whenever sweet sleep
approached, they drove her from my pillow: sore
feverish, and sunk in spirit, I rose by break of day to
while away the time till the family got up. I corn
menced unpacking my box of books; I opened the
first book that came to hand, merely to see if it had received any injury by confinement in the hold of the
vessel for so many weeks; my eye lit on the words,'My son"' -(this book was in two small volumes:
often when I went to see Mr. Paine I put it in my
pocket, to set him right when he misquoted a passage).
Having the book by me, I asked, and he assented, to
hear it read-it was the third chapter of Proverbs; we
sat with the table between us, his eyes fixed on my face
till I had done. "Now," says I, "Mr. Paine, put yourself, in my situation-a poor, sick stranger, just entering on the untried scenes of life without a pilot, and
conceive, if you can, a set of instructions more suitable:
why, sir, it drove away my fever and my bfears-I went
forth, to commence my new career, with a heart as
light as a-feather, trusting in Him who hangs creation
on his arm,, and feeds her at his board." He heard
without interruption, when, patting me on the head,
with a good-natured smile, " Ah," says he, " but thou
art a young enthkuiamt." So we parted for the night.




GRANT THORBURN.            105
I will now, to give Mr. Paine his due, mention one
good action he performed. The man who suffered
death instead of Paine left a widow, with two young
children, in poor circumstances. Paine brought them
all with him to this country, supported them while he
lived, and, it is said, left most of' his property to them
when he died. The widow and children lived in apartments up town, by themselves; I saw them often, but
never saw Paine in their company. he then boarded
with Carver. I believe his conduct was disinterested
and honorable to the widow. She appeared to be
about thirty years of age, and was very far from being
handsome.
The friends of Mr. Paine, merely in attempting to
contradict my statemenf, have lately asserted that this
woman was not the widow of the man guillotined, and,
from what I lately learned, I believe she was not. One
thing I know, when he first brought her out, he and
his friends passed her off as such; and it's a pity they
should have taken from him the credit of the only good
action he was ever thought to have performed.There are some who have read little, and thought
less, on: the events that have passed before our eyes
within the last forty years, who may honestly wish to
see the experiment tried, whether society can exist in
any thing like a state of order, without the religion
of the Bible: but the experiment has. been tried and
found wanting. The Governor of the world, as if to
leave men without excuse, gave the management of
the affairs of France, for several years of her late revolution, into the hands of men who were freethinkers
in principle, and enemies to religion by profession.
5X




106           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
Having the power, they put their principles into practice: they abolished the Sabbath, and substituted every
tenth as a day of rest or amusement-they shut up the
churches, and banished the ministers, except a few,
whom they styled priests of the religion of naturethey dressed up a female (the Fanny Wright of Paris,
no doubt), according to their notion of some heathen
deity, whose costume was any thing but modest-they
placed her on a pedestal in one of their public squares
or temples-they bowed the knee and paid her divine
homage, under the style and title of the Goddess of
Reasoon! Yes, gentle reader, these men were the
philosophers of the day, the Timothy Jenkinses of
France, who shouted in the ears of the simple, We are
the men-we are the men! anid wisdom wilt die with
us! It was enough to make the devil bluh. The gutters of Paris were turned into a scarlet dye, so mighty
was the devastation and.murders of these philanthropists-these friends of man! Bonaparte, and a few
other men of strong mind, seeing the nation was rolling fast towards'the dark gulf of worse than savage
barbarism, took the reins from the hands of these unskilful drivers; they scattered the council of ive hundred into thin air, restored to the people their weekly
Sabbath, their altar, and their priests-and again were
the people happy. Now, my good friends, look out for
the rooks on which others have split. We have as
much, and more, liberty to carry, than we can fairly stagger under; no religious denomination can lord it over
another'in America, as the Constitution has placed
these, as they ought to be, all on a level; and while we'haveneither lords temporal nor spiritual in our country,




GRANT THOKMBUR.             107
you will never be hurt. by priestcraft. If it is a craft,
I think it is the poorest craft I know of in America;
for, except in New York, and two or three of the largest cities, they scarcely are paid *nough to keep soul
and body together. Were we, as in England, obliged
to pay tenths to a man whose church we never enter,
we might complain of priestcraft; but here we have
free churches, and in every church are free pews for
those who are unable to pay: so, in America, above
any other spot in the world, it may emphatically be
said, "the poor have the Gospel preached unto them."
When General Moreau fled from Bonaparte's persecution, he took up his abode in KTew York-he and
his lady, the beautiful Madame, daughter of a
banker in Paris. She was said, at that time, to be the
richest and handsomest woman in Europe. Be that as
it may, she was a very pretty little woman, and fond
of flowers. The general condescended to all her whims
and notions about plants; and very well he might, for
he was rather ugly, and old enough to be her father.
When any thing was to be arranged among the plants,
she was not pleased except the general and I had the
fixing ct them. One day as I was placing some pretty
little modest Scotch daisies in his study, I cast my eyes
on his hat, coat, sword, and other accoutrements, hanging on one side. Thinks I to myself, it is but a few
months since, with that sword in hand, he was arranging the ranks, and directing the most masterly retreat,
perhaps, on military record; and here he is seemingly
exerting all his mind in rawnking up flower-pots. He observed the direction of my eyes, and spoke in French
to his servants, who told me the general wished to




108          LIEE AND WRITINGS OF
know what I thought. I said I wished to know if that
sword and hat were with him on the field of battle.
He said they were. I told him what I thought; he explained to the general, who laughed as loud as Frenchmen generally do.
It was a pity he ever left New York: he was a
pleasant, unassuming man, and was much liked. He
had plenty of money, and might have been very happy
here, had he been only contented. I would rather live
in America on an annuity of two thousand pounds
sterling, than mount the throne of any monarch in
Christendom.




GRANT THORBURN.               109
CHAPTER  XI.
JOURNEY TO ALBANY —-THE GENESEE GIRL AND HER LITTLE RED BOOK ON
HER JOURNEY OVERLAND TO ALBANY: A STORY NOT FOUNDED ON, BUT ALL
FACT.
ON a very cold morning in February, 1831, we left
Hoboken, fifteen of us, well packed, in a stage with
wheels, besides a very neat coach which held only four.
I was very politely asked to step into this coach, and,
so foolish was I, and ignorant, I thought this same fine
close carriage would carry me all the way, through
thick and through thin, whither I was bound, even to
the gates of the State House in Albany. In two short
hours mine eyes were opened on the deceitfulness of
first appearances.
We stopped at Hackensack, a tavern, grocery, grogshop, and post-office, all under one roof. Here we
changed horses. Our rum-selling post-master began to
bluster and swear he had no carriage, covered or uncovered, wherein to stow so many passengers; he said
the Jockey Club in New York kept all the money, and
gave him all the trouble. In short, said he, except you
remain here till 4 P. M., you must go on with such conveyance as I have got. We applied to our Hoboken
driver; he said his orders were to drop us at Hackensack, and bring back the carriages. As he went back
on his way rejoicing, a passenger remarked, these carriages are kept asdecoy-ducks. I thought in our case




110          LFE AMD) WRrmIM  OF
they had decoyed geese.  Here we were detained
nearly an hour. I stepped into the bar-room, a large
place; in the centre stood an old-fashioned ten-plate
stove, surrounded by a dozen of large, lazy-looking fellows; on the stove (which was very hot) stood a number of pots, pitchers, mugs, jars, and glasses of beer,
brandy, ale, and cider; some running over with the
heat with a hissing noise, and the fumes which rose to
the ceiling and intermixed with pipe and cigar smoke,
rebounding again on the heads of the smokers, nearly
shutting out the light of day, and carrying back the
mind to the midnight revels of Macbeth's witches
dancing round the infernal fire, with Satan standing on
the edge of the caldron, stirring the ingredients of their
incantations. As the bar-keeper went round, filling the
cups of these thirsty souls with liquid fire, I thought of
Lucifer in hell as walking his daily rounds, when feeding condemned spirits with fire and brimstone from an
iron ladle, yet seven times more hot. Oh how I wished
for the powers, pencil, and canvas of Hogarth; I would
have daubed these fellows into eternal SHAME.
We now set forward in a chair, sulky, and Jersey
wagon. It began to rain, and when we reached the
next stage to change horses, we looked like moving
pillars of salt, our hats, cloaks, and storm-clothes
being covered an eighth of an inch with ice transparent. Here we were placed in a covered box with runners, the cover being white-wood boards, placed an
eighth of an inch apart, without paint, leather, or canvat. Seventy-five cents in canvas, twenty-five cents in
paint, and half an hour in time, would have made this
machine both air and water tight; but in this district,




GRANT,THEBURN.             l
time, talents, cents, and every comfort, seemed all swallowed up with the rum-jugs and the ten-plate stoves. The
rain descended, and snow came, our hats were frozen
to our capes, and our cloaks to one another. I saw by
the wayside delicate women hewing wood and drawing
water; children in the snow, without shoes or stockings; while the lazy, drunken husband and father was
stewing the cider-mug on the ten-plate stove in some
pandemonium rum-shop.
Among our passengers was a young woman who,
from her appearance, might have seen seventeen summers. Having finished her education in New York,
she was returning to her friends in the West, and was
under the protection of a young man who, from his
polite, but cool attentions, I thought must be nearer
related to her than a ous8in. Had she been a witness
in the hall, the reporters would have said she was a
very interesting young lady; but, as I don't quite
understand the phrase in this connection, it may be as
well to say at once, in plain Scotch, she was a bonny
lass. Most of the day there sat on her right hand a
respectable farmer from Ohio; a man of sound principles, and who, by his observations, must have seen
much of men and their manners. On her left sat a
young man about 22, in the vigor of Mfie and health,
and whiskered to the mouth and eyes (observe, this waW
not her protector).. Our farmer, in answer to a question by a passenger, when speaking of the inhabitants
in the new settlements, remarked, that wherever there
was a church, and a stated minister, the people for five
or six milDes around were more orderly, sober, and circumspect than were those who did not enjoy this




112           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
privilege. This remark drew forth the tongue, the
learning, and the eloquence of our young hero of the
whiskers. He had been to college, and was studying
law in New York; he spoke long and loud about
priestcraft and witchcraft; said the laws'of Lycurgus
were better than the laws of Moses, and the Bible of
Mahomet than the acts of the Apostles. He said the
story about hell and the devil was invented by priests
to scare the ignorant, and that death at the worst was
only a leap int the dark. But ah, this leap in the dark!
We little thought we were -so near the precipice, and
that our courage, in a few minutes, would be put to
the test. It had rained all day, the sleighing got bad,
and the driver swore he would take to the river; the
passengers, one and all, remonstrated, to no effect. At
every stopping-place, while the horses drank water, the
driver drank rum. He was now at that point of highpressure that he declared he feared neither death nor
devil. We knew the ice in the river was strong enough
to bear a. hundred sleighs; our fears arose from the
danger of getting into air-holes, which could not be
seen, as the ice was covered two feet with water. Fear
was now on every countenance. I looked on our farmer;
his eye-was uneasy, startled and twinkling with fear.
I asked what he thought? He said it was very unsafe
and very imprudent. I looked on the young woman;
she was pale, thoughtful, and serious, but spoke not.
On her-lap she carried a small willow basket.- While
I watched the effect of fear on her countenance, she
took from her basket a little red.book; she opened it,
turned a few leaves, fixed her eyes, and read about a
minute. As she shut the book and replaced it in her




GKoIT  mo:o Ua.            113
basket, she turned her face towards the heavens; she
closed her eyes, and her lips moved. Now, reader, if
you ever stood on the corner of Broadway and Liberty
street, you may have seen in the window a painting of
a beautiful Italian nun at her devotions. Thus looked
the countenance of this young woman in this trying
moment. As she opened her fine black eyes, the hue
of fear,.which for a moment had blanched her rosy
cheek; passed away like a showery-cloud on'the side of
a green hill on an April morning. I looked on the'whiskered young man; he trembled in every limb. He
was like one without hope; this leaep i the dark had
taken him by surprise; he was dumb, he opened not
his mouth-while she, placing her slender foot firmly
on the Rock of Ages, with her hand she took a grasp
upon the skies, bid the waves roll, nor feared their idle
whirl.
We arrived at Albany by sundown. She, her protector, and I, put up at the same hotel. Supper being
ended, we took sweet counsel together till ten P. M. I
asked to see the little red book. Its title was " Daily
Food for Christians;" being a portion of Scripture and
a hymn for every day in the year, &c. I asked what
portion pleased her so much when we were sleighing
in the water? She pointed to the text for that day in
February-it read: "As the mountains are round
about Jerusalem, ~o the Lord is round about his people," &e. The hymn,
"Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
The storm you so much dread
Is big with mercy, and will break
With blessings on your head."




114          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
Returning the book, I said, Miss, there be many who
say this book is all delusion; and what if it is? it is, at
least, a cheap, a comfortable, and a very innocent delusion. They may call it what they please, she replied,
but I intend to make it my companion through all my
journeys'in life.
I now learned that this young lady was the adopted
daughter of the Hon. William Campbell, SurveyorGeneral to the State, a man of great wealth. She was
married in April, 1835, to Dr. Grant, of Utica; a few
weeks thereafter they sailed from Boston for Constantinople, as missionaries to the Nestorians in Persia; and
there she died, 4th of January, 1839, aged twenty-five
years.
Next day was clear and fife sleighing; at two P. M.
we stopped at Bement's; the sun shone full down on
State street, the sleighs and the bells danced merrily
along, and every thing bore the appearance of life and
comfort. In our company was a lady who a few days
before had arrived in one of the Liverpool packets, and
was on her way to join her husband in the West. Fear
on the river stopped not her utterance, but had quite a
contrary effect. She was a small body, and when her
little English tongue broke loose, it went like the hammer of a mill-clack: if the fellow was in her country,
he would be prosecuted and mightily punished for such
presumptuous behavior to passengers; and declared, if
she lived to see Albany, she would have satisfaction, if
there were any laws in this country, &c. While the
driver was untying our baggage, says I, " Ma'am, that
big house on the top of the hill is the place where the
king, lords, and commons are now sitting, and making




GRANT  TBORBURN.            1 15
laws as fast as you would pitch half-pennies: over the
way is Mr. Van Blarcum's office, the lawyer. Now,;if you are willing to spend a sovereign or two, and
board ten or twelve days in this hotel, you will find as
much law and justice to punish that driver for putting
you in bodily fear in this as in your own country."
She looked in my face for a moment. "Dogs take the
fellow!" says she; "I would not stay another week
from my husband for all the coachmen in America."
"Good-by, ma'am," says I. So she jumped into the
Schenectady, or some other stage: I saw no more of
her.




116a           LUB A"  w       S OF
CHAPTER XII.
REFLECTIONS ON BOARD A STEAMBOAT.-DR. GRAHAMeS ADDRB S.-BLACK
HAWK'S REPLY. —— ARRIVAL AT BOSTON.-DIGRESSION.-NEW YORK FORTY
YEARS AGO. —OLD TIMES.
MAY 25th, 1833, I left New York per steamboat
Franklin, Mr. Bunker, the old commodore himself,
commander. Intending this as a voyage of discovery,
that I might learn something more of men and of their
manners, I took no encumbrance, save only a small
trunk, and left all my live lumber at home. The history of one steamboat voyage on our northern or eastern waters may answer for the history of one hundred
-at the same season of the year, it being the season
when men, as well as the bird creation, make choice
of a mate. You may always observe a reasonable
proportion of these twos made one.  On board, you
may easily distinguish them from those who have been
buckled together in this holy alliance for the past three
years; for, provided you are a keen observer of nature,
you will see the fair new-made one cling fast to the arm
of her natural support up stairs and down stairs, to the
table, or to the promenade, always linked together as
close as the bands of matrimony can tie them. Even
in a crowd, where they can't go ablr*t, you may see
her pressing sideways along, still grasping the arm, as
if she were afraid he might drop into oblivion. After
supper, and when most of the passengers have retired,.you may see them pacing the deck, or sitting, in a




GRANT THOPBURN.             11
lonely coner, like the turtle-dove on a solitary tree,
repeating their tales of love. There they sit till midnight. But now the cold northeast wind comes pouring down from St. Anthony's Nose (a high rock on the
Hudson River so named, but, alas! the Railroad has
broken the nose off), or round the bleak corners of
Point Judith (a point in the Sound, so named, where it
sometimes freezes in the month of June, and the waters
are proverbially turbulent). These winds are more like
to form icicles than to fan the flames of love, and admonish them to retire. They now walk to the door of
the ladies' cabin; but hitherto they may go, but -.no
farther. Here the imperious law of the boat, in direct
contradiction to the words of the cer'emony, part those
asunder whom God has joined together: no more dares
he to set a foot there, than to enter the harem of a Turk.
There, with the pearl dancing in her eye, they shake
hands, and part as if it were forever —she, to sleep if
she can,-and he, to the bar to drown his sorrow in a
glass of champagne.
I now saw a few pairs of them whom I had observed on-my former voyage three years ago. Then
they were newly linked-now they were settled down
in all the sober realities of life. No squeezing sideways arm and arm in a crowd; no leading down stairs
or pulling up stairs by the hand, or tip of the fingers,
like the hauling of a drowning man from a mill-pond;
no snatching at  n, a glove, or a handkerchief, before it had reache the deck; but merely a very sedate
ejaculation of'," My dear, you have dropped your fan,"
when very quifly raising it up, to be sure. I thought
how much easier they now got along, the one before




118            ~ IE r AND WrTINMGS OF
and the other behind, in all the composure of true Indian style.
If any of my thinking readers should suppose that
the picture is too high colored, they have only to visit
Albany and Boston by steam, between the month of
June and the month of January, and they will see the
same comedy and the same tragedy acted over some
scores of times.
Next morning I arose at five A. M.: having washed,
shaved, and dressed, I sat down with my pipe in a snug
corner, forward, to smoke, and ruminate on what I had
seen-and heard the day previous. Says I to myself, I
have been young and now am old, yet have I never
seen an unhappy marriage but where the improper
conduct of the husband lay at the root of the evil. The
temper of a woman must be very bad indeed if a man
of sense can't lead her along. It is contrary to a
woman's nature to be driven; but by kindness and
persuasion you may lead her anywhere.
Mrs. Socrates, if history speaks true, was a woman
of a violent temper, and a tremendous scold; yet her
husband, who was a man of sense, could get along with
her very comfortably..It is written of her, that one
day having scolded near half an hour without being
able to draw an angry word from his tongue, or to discompose a single idea in his contemplative brain, thus
finding the powers of wind had no effect, she thought
she would try the powers of water;' seizing a vessel
that usually stands in the corner of the room, she made
for the front window, where seeing he still sat composedly on the stoop, solving some problems among
the stars, she emptied the whole contents on the bald




GRANT TIORBURN.!       19
head of her husband. He then mildly observed to a
friend who sat by, " After thunder we may always
expect a shower." No doubt this sensible remark of
the husband made the old lady draw in her head and
smile; and, I dare say, when they met again on the
stairs, they were as good frienda as ever they had been
since the first day they were linked together. Now,
had ]Mr. Socrates been as hot-headed as some fiery
fools of husbands that I have known, he would have
run up stairs and broken her favorite china tea and
milk pots, and may be driven his hand through the
looking-glass. She, in revenge, would then have torn
his portrait in pieces, and may. be have cut the throat
of his -favorite cat. Then there would have been a time
of it in the house; but instead of this, he only poured
the soothing oil of forbearance Qp her stormy temper,
and soon the waves were still.
Those pests of society-the bachelors of forty-as an
apology for their sins of omission, and their sins of
commission, in transgressing alike against the laws of
nature and of nature's God, will assert that they
are afraid of being caught in the matrimonial trap,
seeing so many promising young ladies have made
very indifferent wives, and very bad housekeepers.
This, I say again, is a mere excuse; besides, it is a
downright slander. I can say, from thirty-seven years'
experience and observation in these matters, that I
never saw -a bad wife except there was first a BAD
husband. When two are yoked together, they must
calculate to draw equal if they expect to get along
easy. In. the higher walks of life (for there I believe
the daughters of Eve suffer more keenly for the sins of




120'          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
their grandmother than they do in the lower) I have
seen the young, accomplished wife, before twenty
moons had waned since she changed her name, sitting
lone and solitary as the sparrow on the housetop. Perhaps her health-was now delicate; the nourishing and
cherishing care of her partner was almost necessary to
her existence; but he was gone-gone to some political, literary, or may be some jockey-club. Perhaps he
returns at midnight, breathing the fumes of wine, and
steaming with the smoke of cigars-a pretty sort of a
fellow, to be sure! how unequal the yoke to a young
lady of twenty I and yet he has the confidence to
account himself a suitable companion to a sensible,
delicate, well-educated female. Such usage, and worse,
when often repeated, will sour the.temper of any woman,
though naturally as sxyeet as the dew-drop appending
to the mountain-rose. I have heard the eloquent Dr.
Mason assert from the pulpit that there were more
ways of breaking the heart of a woman besides breaking her head.
Again, in the lower walks of life.have I seen a delicate little woman-she was clean and neat about her
house, her person, and her dress, but very unequally
yoked to a great.lump of a fellow, with an arm as thick
as the leg, and a hand as heavy as the foot of an ox.
He was by trade a currier of hides, a profound politician a thorough reformer, and a warm friend of the
people; and so completely was he filled with a dsiinterested love for all mankind, thaIt he had not one particle left to bestow on his wife and children; for every
night, as the sun went down, would he, after scrubbing
his own hide, and drinking his tea, adjourn himself off




GRANT' THORBURN.           121
to the Indian Wigwam, or Tammany Hall, and there
would he harangue, cajole, rebuke, and debate, till the
going down of the moon; and- hfving made the science
of political economy and national government his study
from his youth up, he was'positively never able to
spare a moment of his time to think how he should
govern hirmisef or his own house.
In these long, lone winter nights, there sat his pretty
little wife, her pale and interesting face yet more pale
from the flikering light of the lamp-there she sat,
one child asleep in her lap, her foot on the cradle
rocking the babe, and at the same time mending his
coat or darning his stockings. About twelve A. M. his
heavy foot is heard on the stairs; his head buoyant as
the balloon, from the fumes of ale and the smoke of
cigars. Rough and uncouth as her portion of animated
clay appeared, she yet welcomes him with a smile.
"Han," said he (her name was Hannah), "have you
got any thing to eat?" Softly raising the child fromher lap, and depositing it on the bed, she went quietly
about placing something on the table to fill his capacious jawsr   As the cradle stood still, the babe began
to stir. "John," said she," please to turn the cradle a
little."  "Rock the cradle yourself, and be hanged ta.
you!" and strutting across the floor in all the swell of
strong stimulance and self-importance, "Rock the
cradle yourself, I am one of the lords of creation!" A
lord of the creation, indeed; it is enough to make the
evil one blu8h. 
This thing took place in 1798, when the federal and
democratic parties divided the country, or when, to the
shame -of-America, Who is for France, or Who is for
6




122           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
England, was the watch-word-not a solitary voice for
their country-Washington, Hamilton, Jay, Adams,
and a few others who had bled for independence, excepted. I think Louis Philippe served those chaps
right, when they went as ardeputation from our meddling, offcious, would-be conspticuo'wa wise men of
Gothacm. They went to congratulate him on the revolution of July, 1830, which placed him on the throne,
and made him a kinz. Very conestent with republicanism!
Having heard their flat address, " Gentlemen," said
he (in plain Scotch), "hereafter learn to mind your
own business, and never burn your own noses in other
people's hail; right about face, march!" These are
not the exact words, to be sure, but certainly the substance.
The New York republican procession, with the
French cockade on their hats, and the New York
republican' committee's address to King Philippe of
Paris, in 1830, are two of the most beautiful specimens
of republican 8simp0ctly I was ever witness to, except
it may be the following, from the " New York Commercial Advertiser" of June, 1833.
"The Address  of 4John A. Graham, LL.D., of the City
of New York, to Black Hawk and his Compantions,
on the 1Tth imst.:Brothers! open your ears; you'are brave men;
you have fought like tigers, but in a bad cause. We
have conquered you. We were sorry, last year, that
you took up the tomahawk against us; but we believe
that you did not know us then as you do now. We




GRANT THORBURN.             123
think, in time to come, that you will be wise, and that
we shall be friends forever. You see that we are a
great people, numerous as the flowers of the field, as
the shells on the sea-shore,,or the fish in the sea. We
put one hand on the eastern, and at the same time
the other on the western ocean. We all act togetherif sometimes our great men talk loud and long at our
council-fires; but shed one drop of the white men's
blood, our young warriors, as thick as the stars of the
night, will ~eap on board our great boats, which fly on
the waves and over the lakes swift as the eagle in the
air —then penetrate th% woods, make the big guns
thunder, and the whole heavens red with the flames of
the dwellings of their enemies.
"Brothers! the President has made you a great
talk. He has but one mouth, but that one has sounded
the sentiments of all the people. Listen to what he
has said to you-write it on your memories. It is
good-very good.
" Brothers! Black Hawk, take these jewels-a pair
of topaz earrings beautifully set in gold, for your wife
or daughter, as a token of friendship; keeping always
in mind that women and children are the favorites of
the Great Spirit. These jewels are from an old man
whose head is whitened with the snows of seventy winters-an old- man who has thrown down his bow, put
off his sword, and now stands leaning on his staff, waiting the commands of the Great Spirit.''Brothers! look around you, see all the mighty
people, then go to your homes, open your arms to receive your families; tell them. to bury the hatchet, to
make bright the chain of friendship; to love the white




124           LIFE AND WRrrINGS OF
men, and live in peace with them, as long as the rivers
run-into the sea, and the sun rises and sets.' If you do
so you will be happy. You will then insure the prosperity of unborn generations of your tribes, who will
go hand in hand with the sons of the white men, and
all shall be blessed by the Great Spirit., Peace and
happiness, by the blessing of the Great Spirit, attend
you.
" Farewell!        Join A. GRA!HAM."1
Black H]awk's Reply.
"Brother, we like your talt. We will be friends.
We like the white people;'they are very kind to us.
We shall not forget it. Your counsel is good, and we
shall attend to it. Your valuable present shall go to
my squaw. It pleases smd very much, and we shall
always be friends."
But, to return to the gentlemen in high life, and the
mechanics in low life; Had the former stayed at
home when his partner was indisposed and unable to
accompany him abroad,-had he with his own hand
held the medicine-cup to her lips,-had he sat by her
bed and conversed, or read to her from some entertaining book (as he was in duty bound), he'never would
have cause to complain of a sour-tempered wife. And
had the latter kept at home at night, and assisted his
true yoke-fellow to nurse the child, while she was wash —
ing the clothes (for the bird creation will assist his
mate to rear their young), he never would have broken
the heart and soured the temper of his delicate wife.
So I think I have shown, beyond all controversy, that




GRANT TRORBURN.             125
if a man only bears his share in the troubles of life, a
woman will never flinch from bearing hers.
Those consummate blockheads, the bcachelors, they
too must join the hue and cry'to deface and to defame
the most beautiful part of the creation. Conscious that
they are running contrary to all laws, human and
divine, they come forth with hard words in place of
arguments; they are not able, say they, to support a
wife; why, it costs many of you more, money in six
months to pay for the soda-water you drink, and the
cigars you smoke and give away (two articles that you
can well dispense with, and articles, too, that your
fathers never saw), than it would take to support a sensible woman for a twelvemonth. You are afraid of the
expense of a family. He that hangs creation on his
arm, and feeds her at his board,-He that hears the
young ravens when they cry, will never suffer the
young Yankees to starve. When you have got money
enough to buy furniture, you will then go to housekeeping and marry. Here the fowls of the air will teach
you: in the spring he looks out for his mate; he has
not got a stick nor a straw towards housekeeping;
together they gather the sticks and the straws; in a
few days a dwelling is prepared for the little family.
But the bachelors in every thing put the cart before
the horse-always wrong end foremost with them.
They say, as soon as they get a nest they will then look
out for a bird-thus running quite cross-grained in the
teeth of nature,
When I was not worth one hundred and fifty dollars
I married. My wife earned thirty-one and a half cents
per day with her needle, I earned seventy-five cents




126          LAFE AND WRITINGS OF
per day with my hammer; yet I never until this day
was without a loaf of bread and a shilling. You have
read how "Laurie Todd" began housekeeping; the inventory is true: we had' but three chairs-it was one
more than our need; you may have. a hundred, but
you can only sit on one at a time.. Had I my life to
begin anew, and in the same circumstances, I would
do just as I did then; at the age of twenty-two I would
rather lodge by the bush with the woman of my choice,
than to strut over a Turkey carpet, gape on the sofa,
yawn by the piano, and dream over the sideboard, in
all the dark, gloomy~ and horrible forebodings of a
bachelor of forty; for they know the timeg is pasttwenty-five is never to be recalled.
By the time I got through these ruminations, Providence came in sight. My ticket for the stage was
No. 2; whether it was what people call chance, or
whether it was a plan of the captain's, I know not: be
that as it nmay, I found myself seated with my back to
the driver, comfortably stowed away with eight welldressed females-I being the only male creature on
board. I soon learned they were two mothers with
their four daughters and two young waiting-maids. I
knew none of them, but soon found out they had been
to Philadelphia, had visited my store, and were now on
their way home to Boston. Having so precious a cargo
in charge, I thought myself in duty bound to do what
in me lay for their comfort: at every watering-place,
such as were thirsty I got abundantly, refreshed with
lemonade, milk-punch, or spring-water: when we
stopped to dine, while the other passengers were feasting on beef and brandy, we quietly sipped our tea and




'GRANT THORBURN.            127
cake in a neat little room by ourselves. To shorten
the time on the road, I amused them with Hogg's Tales
and Scott's Stories; you may be assured there was not
a heavy eye in the coach. About 7 P. M. we were
quietly set down at the Tremont. Since my former
visit, three years ago, I received many invitations from
ladies and gentlemen from Boston, who had called to
look at our store. I discovered by the way that I had
left most of my cards behind; reflecting on the circumstance, thinks I, should I pass the door of any of those
good folks, they will think, either that I am destitute of
common civility, or wanting in ruth; so I inserted the
following in the " Boston Transcript."
"NoTICE.-Through the progress of the two years
just gone by, I received many  resging riwntationsbeautiful eards-and made many fair promises to call
on Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So the first time I was in Boston; unhappily, however, in the notes of preparation,
I came off forgetting most of my cards and part of my
woits in New York. Not wishing to be thought guilty
of a breach of promise, or wanting in the common civilities of life, I wish only to inform my good friends aforesaid, if they will leave their address at the seed store,
No. 52 North Market street, I will endeavor to redeem
my pledge.
"If spared, I intend remaining about a week."
I had another reason for publishing this notice: I
knew that among some of the fashionable folks they
think they are obliged to practise a great deal of hypocrisy. I remember many years ago of carrying a
bill to a fashionable lady in Broadway, New York; she
and another lady were just coming to the door-the




128           LIFE  AND WRITINGS OF
former asked me to step into the parlor; she was walnn
in her thanks to her neighbor for calling, and- seemed
earnest in her invitations for her to call again soon. As
I had never seen any thing of fashionable life, you may
think I was almost confounded, when, after shutting
the front door with: a loud 81am, she returned into the
parlor, and, without paying any attention to me, began
to harangue to her daughter most vehemently; she
wished that "hateful woman would never enter her
door again,.that she always gave her the headache,- as
her tongue was as rough as the sound of a grindstone,"
&c., &c. Thinks  T to. myself, this is another way of
doing business. She paid my bill, however, that was
my business; the other affair was' her own. So I
thought about my cards; it may be that some of those
fine ladies, whose cards are so smooth and brightly
polished, after all, would rather see the- grave-digger
coming into the house than to see me: so, thinks I,
this notice will put all to rights; those that are sincere
will send their cards, and on them I will call; those
that are not sincere will see the advertisement, and so
take the will for the deed.
I must here digress, while I state what. New York
was forty years ago, and what it is now, and then I will
return to Boston.
At that4-eriod, most of our dry-.goods: stores were in
Pearl and William streets-the shop in front, and generally a room behind:; a glass door intervened, through
which the master of the house coul4 see while eating
his' dinner; and if a person entered, he immediately
arose, left all, and waited on his customer. But look
at it now. Half-past three P. M., yesterday, I called -at




GRANT THORBURN.             129
the boarding-house of Mr. S., in Broadway-rang tlhe
bell-was answered by a colored waiter. "Is Mr. B.
within "' "He is at dinner, and can't be disturbed
when at dinner." Says I, " Go tell Mr. B. my business is urgent, and can't be delayed."  However, he
did not appear till after fifteen minutes, while I sat ill
the parlor gazing on s.ome shabby pictures, and magnifying every minute into ten. When he appeared, says
I, "Sir, I have seen your employer, near forty years
ago, rise from his dinner to sell a yard'of tape." This
fellow is now third or fourth clerk under, in an auction
store in Pearl street; receives about one hundred dollars per annum and board: he was just from the tail of
the plough about eighteen months ago - he now wore a
coat much in appearance like the wind-sail of a vessel
in the tropics: it reached to the middle of his thighs,
which, with his legs, were covered with a stuff called
gum-elastic, adhering so close as to resemblein appearance the bandages around the limbs of an Egyptian
mummy, and made his legs appear not much thicker
than a Bologna sausage; the toes of his shoes were as
broad as the heel; his neck screwed up in a black
leather collar. His face was of the true Wethersfield
cut, of a mixed hue, between Dutch-pink and brickdust. His nose sharp enough to have gouged the eye
of a musquito; whiskers enougth to have covered his
whole visage, had they only been transplanted over the
surface. Such is the miserable remnant of mortality
who expects to become a merchant for the next generation.
6*




130           LIFE AND WRITNG8'OF
CHAPTER  XIII.
A WEEK IN BOSTON.-REFLECTIONS ON PRESENT STATE OF SOCIETY
BUT to return to Boston and the cards. The day
after my advertisement appeared, the second edition of
cards came pouring in like hail from a thunder-cloud in
the month of July. Punctual to the hour, I ascended
the steps of the princely mansion of the handsome Mrs.
Otis, just as the clock struck seven. When the door of
the parlor opened, the blaze of lights, dress,. youth, and
beauty, was something more than my senses were prepared to receive. "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for some have thereby entertained angels unawares," was the first idea that struck my mind. The
lady of the manor on which I stood once entered my
store; she was to me a stranger; I entertained her, not
knowing I was entertaining one, in many respects, so
far superior to what we usually meet in the ordinary
walks of life. My thoughts on this occasion may have
taken a wrong flight (as they have done many a time
both before and since), but I merely state what they
were. i It was the first time I had met an assembly
where the sights were so imposing. The amusements
of the evening commenced with what they call handing
round tea- (athing I had never seen performed in Scotland): first came a servant with tea-cup and saucer;
another with bread and butter; then there came cake,
rusk, tongue, and sweetmeats: here I was brought to a




GRANT THORBURN.            13
dead stand-my hands were full-I could neither eat
nor drink. Says I, "] Madam, this tea-drinking concern
of yours reminds me of the man who was going to bury
his wife in Scotland: They had three miles to walk,
and were going pretty fast:'Not so fast, friends,' says
the husband;' don't let us make a toil of a pleasure.'
Now," says I, "Madam, your tea-concern is all very
good; but the way in which you manage the business
makes a real toil of a easlea8ur-at least to me." The
lady took the hint, and very politely placed- before me
a small stand, when I got along very comfortably.
Among the many fine- eatables placed on the board,
or paraded round the room, an article came in, in size
and, appearance resembling a seven-pound ham, very
neatly roasted. In answer to my question, the queen
of the feast informed me it was a roasted yam. Never
having seen a roasted yam, and never having tasted a
yam in my life, my curiosity was awake. In a few
minutes the heart of the yam was nicely scooped out
with a silver spoon, placed on pretty little china plates,
neatly compounded with the sweetest of butter and
essence of spice. According to order, it was handed
first to the ladies; all were loud in praise of the yam:
then to the gentlemen; nothing was heard but the
delicious yam-the famous St. Domingo yam.  (I
thought of the man with the long nose riding through
the town of Straatsburgh.) I took one tea-spoonful of
the yam, then another. Thinks I to myself, were it not
for the sweet butter and odoriferous spice, the heart of
a corn-stalk would taste better. The lady of the - feast
asked how I liked the yam. Says I, " Madam, it re,
minds me of the story of a young countryman, whose




132          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
grandmother died and left him a fortune. He came
into Edinburgh to see life. Observing that people
were carried from street to street in sedan-chairs, he
applied to the porters for a ride. They seeing he was
a flat, one of the porters winked to his mate, who drew
out the bottom of the chair, on one side, just as his fellow opened the door to let the young man step in on
the other side. When he stepped in, the door was
shut, and the young man stood on the pavement.
Away they go, through mud and through mire, always
crossing where the mud was deepest. At length, they
stopped in front of the hotel where he lodged: being
let out, and his fare paid,'Well,' says the carriers,'how did you like your ride?'' Oh,' says he,' it was
very good; but, were it not for the name of the thing,
a body might just as well walk.' Now, madam," says
I, "were it not for the name of the thing, a -good Scotch
potato would make a better feast." I am sure that the
laugh whichifollowed did the mistress and her guests
more good than all they derived by eating the yam.
By-and-by the music and the dance went round: a
lively-widow of forty asked if I would waltz with her;
I told her if she would show me how it was done, and
I liked it, I would try. She jumped up and threw her
arm round the slender waist of a tall girl; away they
flew to the sound of the tamborine; when done, she sat
down by me on the sofa. "Well," says she, "how
do you like it?" Says I, "M'adam, I think it's coming
to rather too close quarters." I never till that hour
knew exactly what waltzing was; and, I must say, I
tremble for the sons and fathers of the next generation,
if we are to go on in imitation of those vile European




GRANT THORBURN.            133
customs. I asked her if the lads took hold of the lasses
when they were at those pranks: she said they did.
"Then," says I, "the lasses are the more fools to let
them."
June 5th.-Went to Faneuil Hall to witness the proceedings of the meeting held to raise funds for completing the Bunker Hill Monument. As I entered, a
gentleman whom I knew not spoke to me by name,
and introduced me to the mayor, who directed one of
his friends to provide for me a comfortable seat. I felt
grateful for their kind attention. The circumstances,
and the place, brought to my memory one of my earliest
newspaper recollections. One evening, about the beginning of September, 1775, the Edinburgh stage-coach
stopped at my father's door, and delivered the paper as
usual. It contained the British- account of the battle of
Bunker's Hill, and concluded, of course, with the prediction of the total destruction of the American cause.
My father, I remember, expressed much sorrow while
reading the account to his family, and in his evening
prayer remembered most fervently the poor oppressed
Americans. Being then in imy third year, I knew not
the nature of the contest, but thought it strange that my
father should be sorry when our side won-as we used
to say at school.
While the speakers were depicting in eloquent
language the happy results that have flowed upon
mankind in consequence of that important battle, I
thought perhaps there was not one in all that large
assembly who could feel- exactly as I did at that
moment. I beheld the ground on which scores in each
contending.rank had dropped into eternity, with each




134           LIFE AND.TRITINGS OF
repeating charge: I thought of my father's principles
with regard to that contest, and:how tey grew with
my mind, and strengthened with my years, aud the
influence they held on my after-life. His principles
made me set up as a reformer of the world, before I
scarcely could tell my right hand from my left. These
principles made me a prisoner in chains before I completed my nineteenth year; these'principles procured
me the privilege to banish myself, when, by the directing care of Providence, and the help of the good ship
Providence, belonging to my worthy friend Mr. Samuel
Campbell, of New York, I was landed in America;
thus placing me in the best country in the world —the
best State in that country-the best'city in that State —
the best street in that city-and, as I think, the best
spot in that street: so, you see, had it not been for the
principles so successfully contended for on that hill, on
that day, it is not probable I ever should have- seen
America, and this book and its author would never
have seen the light of the sun in Boston. Such were
niy ruminations after the meeting broke up, as I was
plodding my way through Washington street, to spend
the evening with a select party at the house of Mr. —-;
but as the history of one steamboat trip will answer for
one hundred on the same waters, so the description of
one evening party will answer for six in the same city.
The next day I visited many of the gardens in and
around Boston. Nothing I have seen in America will
bear the least comparison with the houses and gardens
of the Messrs. Perkins. The vegetable and flower gardens, the green-houses and hot-houses, the grape, peach,
apricot, and nectarine houses, particularly those of




GRANT THORBURN.            135
Thomas Perkins, are superior to most, and inferior to
none, of the same sort I have ever seen in Britain.
And why should they not? These men are as rich as
princes, and more hospitable than kings. Such men
are the true nobility of any country.: the majority of
what are styled nobles, and noble bloods, all over
Europe, were nothing originally but royal robbers.
When no law but the law df might prevailed, some
mighty robber associated with himself a set of lewd
and lawless fellows of the common sort, and robbed,
phndered, and destroyed their weak neighbors: the
sons, approving of their fathers' sins, kept possession of
the stolen goods from one generation to another. In
process of time they styled themselves noblemven: and
at this day you may find fellows in Europe boasting of
their blood and pedigree, whose fathers, had there been
either law or justice in the country, would have been
hanged. ]But such princely merchants as are to be met
with in every quarter of Massachusetts-men who have
made their own fortunes (not made by the father)these are the true nobility.
Next morning, at half-past six, I called at the country-seat of General Dearborn.; walked round the premises some time, thinking the family might not be up:
a few minutes before seven I knocked- the door was
opened by the general himself-found breakfast on the
table-his lady and daughter present, in a very becoming morning-dress: ate a comfortable breakfast,
and got so absorbed in a very interesting conversation,
that time flew without our taking note, till it was lost;
it was near ten before we rose'from the table. I have
not met a more agreeable lady than the mother, a more




136     A     IE AND WRITINGS OF
polite lady than the daughter, nor a more finished gentleinan than the general.
In the afternoon, visited Mount Auburn. I don't
think a spot more beautiful. and more suitable for the
long home of the weary traveller can be found in the
world. As you trace the neat and solitary walks,
darkly shaded by the thick foliage of the ancient trees,
the very breeze seems to whisper in your ear, there the
weary are at rest.  The monuments are simplicity
itself: no gorgeous robes nor war trophies there; nothing save the emblems of the solemn realities of eternity.
One plain square stone denotes the names of five children, sons and daughters of T. and E. Story, once the
hope of their parents. After recording the name and
age of each (they all died under twenty-four months), it
adds, " of sguch are the kingdom of heaven."
The Botanic Garden at Cambridge is well enough,
but the green-house is a mere apology for a thing;
considering, too, that it forms part of a public institution. It is neither long enough nor broad enough-it
is neither wide enough nor deep enough-in short, it
is a mere burlesque of a house to be called a public
botanic garden green-house. The churches and colleges, the students' houses and professors' houses, are
all well enough. The students appeared to have food
to eat, and raiment to put on. Some of them looked
like fools, and some of them are fools from the foundation. The former wore coats shaped like a flourbarrel, both ends out; and they also wore strong black
leather collars bound about the ineck, which made
them look like a snapping-turtle, sitting on the edge
of a ditch in a summer day, with its mouth open to




GRANT THORBURN.              1-37
catch flies. I thought they were making those chaps
doctors or lawyers, or some other sort of necessary evil
-for I could not, for the life of me, conceive what
other use they could make of them, except they were
to stick them on a bean-pole to scare crows. The
latter, I thought, were intended for readers (not preachers of the Gospel). Their heads, I thought, the professors might as well save themselves the trouble of
polishing, as they had only to send them down to Cape
Cod, or Stonington, where, in rummaging some' old
chest in the garret, they might find as many sermons,
preached by their grandfathers, sixty years ago, as
would serve them to read for their lifetime. Indeed, I
have always thought it was time and money thrown
away to teach a man to speak Greek when he had only
to read English sermons in Connecticut.
The professors, too, are men of sense, and, I wish I
could add, men of feeling also; but were they possessed of one drop of this sweet milk of human kindness, sure am I they never could look on that fine Protica Argentia* of theirs without the most painful sensations. There he stands, or rather is compelled to sit,
in the'centre of the stage; and, for aught that I know,
he may have sat there for half a century. Again and
again has he strove to raise his silver locks towards his
native heavens-again and again has he been beat
down. Bowing to the earth, twisted this way, bent,
coiled, and confounded the other way-like a snake
with forty rattles, or like some Zang-legged Yankee
crammed in a molasses cask till his heels grew fast on
* Classical name of the Silon-tree.




138          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
his shoulders-and all these chapters of misery arose
from a narrow contracted spirit, a narrow contracted
purse, or a nkrrow contracted house. It is a pity but
some old rich bachelor would die in that neighborhood,
and, by way of atonement for the sin of omission,
would leave some thousands to build a green-house for
the college, on condition that they would call it after
his own name-then, indeed, his memory would live
among the orange-trees and myrtles, though his name
might perish from the house of his fathers.
I knew none of the gentlemen about the place, but
they knew me, and treated me as a friend. I there
found a geranium I had never seen; it was named the
Davieanum. I was very kindly presented with a plant.
I carried it through flood and through field, in stage
and in steamboat, bringing it safe to New York without losing a leaf. As the good people of these States
in Congress assembled assume the right to alter a man's
name, so when I, with much care and labor, got this
exotic safely landed in my own State, thought I also
had a right to. give it a new name; so, instantly procuring a painted stick, had it newly labelled Quincyanium, in respect to the worthy president of the institution.
Next day I went forth with my package of cards
to make my calls of ceremony-knocked at the door of
Mrs. ~, in Beacon street: the door was opened by
a smart-looking white waiter, who said Mrs. -. was
from home. (I could read in the man's eyes he spoke
not the truth.) I gave him my card, and told him to
give it to Mrs. -  when she. ca'me in-(perhaps I
ought to have sent in my card at first, but I wished to




GRANT THORBURN.            139
see how matters were managed among the quality).
Walking slowly from the door, I was tapped on the
shoulder by the man, who said Mrs. -  was at home,
and wished to see me. I was shown into the parlor:
Mrs. -- was sitting on the. sofa, in a neat eleveno'clock dress. She met me in the middle of the room,
and taking both of my hands-" O! Mr. Thorburn,"
says she, " had I known it was you, I would have been
at home."  "Then," says I, "madam, you really are
at home." "I am."  "-Well," says I, " I have often
read of the witches in New England, who could be
home and not home at the same time-but I never saw
one of them till this moment.  But," says I, "had
they been all as handsome witches as thou, I don't
think they would have burned so many of them." She
smiled. " But," says I, " madam, are you not ashamed
to hire a man by the month to tell such tough stories
for you? (she blushed.) It was as easy. to have,said
you were fixing your curls, or crimping your cap, and
could not be spoke to till four o'clock P. M."  She said
it was true, but we can't get along without a portion of
deceit. " However," says I, " madam, I am not come
to scold, but to crave your help in a small difficulty.
Here are two cards, Mrs. A     and Mrs. B,
within a few doors of you; are you on visiting terms?"
"We are."  "Then, madam, as I can't be in three
places at one time, like you young witches" —(a blush)says I, " so you may blush-(observe here, she took it
all in good part-perhaps the compliment at the beginning might gild the pill-and she really was pretty)and as your card'says seven ttris evening, cannot you
invite them, or get them to invite you  this will be




140           LIFE AD WRITINGS OF
like killing three digs with one bone."  She said it
was a good idea, and carried it into effect most brilliantly that same evening.
Next morning, going to Medford in the stage, and
thinking on the occurrences of the day previous, says
I to myself, how much happier might we live in this
goodly land, where Providence is daily loading us with
more benefits than falls to the lot of any other people
under the sun, were we only to use them like beings
possessed of common sense! The rich make themselves
very unhappy by relinquishing their: own liberty and
independence, and tamely submitting to the caprice
and folly (to call it by no worse name): of the most
powerful of all tyrants, fashion-each striving to outdo
his fellow in extravagance and show. Mrs. A —
goes to drink tea with Mrs. B  -: she there finds a
new and very expensive addition to the tea-equipage;
she goes home in misery, and can neither eat, rest, nor
sleep; she then my dears her husband day and night
continually, till he procures for her the like, or may be
something more costly. Now this is the only speck on
the sun of a woman's blaze of excellence; but even this
a man of sense may, in a great measure, remedy, by
kindly and candidly making known to his partner his
real situation and circumstances.
The second class make themselves miserable by
looking up at, trying to imitate, and etfvying their
superiors. A great majority of the laboring class make
themselves miserable by getting drunk, forgetting to
make hay when the sun shines, and forgetting to lay
up stores in summer, that they'may be able to sit by a
good fire, and crack their nuts in winter, as the squir



GRAiNT THIORBURN.           141
rels do-and almost every one thinks his neighbor
happier than himself, and this is because he cannot see
the snakes that gnaw his neighbor's heart. The, only
secret of happiness is in comvparison: when you think
your troubles are more than any man's, look round,
and you will'see thousands in a worse. condition than
yourself: when you break your arm, be very glad your
legs are whole; when you break your leg, be very
thankful it was not your neck; and when Willie Wison's draft for $200 comes back protested, be very
thankful that it was not Jamie Jammison's for $400.
Just view every thing as coming from the directing
hand of a wise particular Providence, and, my life for
it, all the powers of earth and hell will never be able to
rob you of your confidence.
Saturday, 8th of June, left Boston at 12 o'clock M.
My feelings and impressions were of the most pleasing
nature-the most polite attention and kindness was
shown me everywhere by the gentlemen and the ladies.
At Providence I tarried two days, where I met with
the same kindness, particularly from Mr., one op
the best and kindest men in Rhode Island, at whose
house I lodged.
On reviewing the last ten days, I think I have seen
more of what may be termed high liJe than ever I
before witnessed; and from what I have seen, I am
more than ever convinced, that if each knew his neighbor's troubles, he would find that what are termed the
good and evils of life are pretty equally divided. I
have seen the man whose riches increased, and wealth
flowed in from every quarter: he was the envy of his
neighbors, because they knew not the sorrows that




142           LIF  AND WRITINGS OF
wrung his heart-; —he had no children to share in his
wealth, and no babes to whom he might leave his substance; this was the worm that continually gnawed at
the root of his gourd. I have seen the servant, while
dusting the costly furniture, and cleaning the handsome grate, place the shovel on the side where the
tongs used to stand. Such a trifle as this have I seen
throw the wife of that rich man into a state of so much
turmoil and passion, that the blood receded not from
her face, nor tte fire from her eyes, nor did the music
of her tongue cease to play for an hour to come. I
have seen the poor man, who had barely food to eat,
or raiment to put on —but then he could rejoice in the
strong arms of three industrious sons, while his wife
could smile at the light step, the ruddy cheek, and
healthy looks of her active daughters.
The rich man fares sumptuously every day; but in
most cases, by abusing his mercies he turns them into
a curse. I have seen the prosperous merchant return
from his office to his house in Broadway, or jalace
near town. His table was furnished with every luxurythree or four courses; then nuts, fruit, and wine; perhaps half a dozen fowls of the same feather in company:
they have a real set-to of eating and drinking, for four
hours on a stretch. jad you seen these men in Wall
street, at two P.M., their eyes sparkling with intelligence, and the whole coui4enance lit up with mercantile enterprise, and look on them now-they are like
beings of another sphere. It is seven P. M.; the table
is strewed with apple-skins and orange-skins-with nutshells and almond-shells-cigars half-smoked and wholesmoked-bottles half-full and empty-wine, red, white,




GRANT THORBURN.              143
and blue, mixing with the shells, skins, and tobacco
aforesaid, forming altogether a beautiful chemical, vegetable, and compound dye, which flows from the board
for the benefit of trade, and the hopes of the merchant
of Brussels. But look now at their keen, calculating,
Wall street eyes; they are sunk, glazed, and vacanthalf-shut, half-asleep —their chairs turned half round,
facing one another in pairs; there -they sit, staring in
one another's faces, muttering half sentences of incoherent nonsense, and looking like a set of most consummate fools. No wonder that the ladies retire from such
a scene, as soon as the bottles and cork-screw are called
for. Next morning, at nine A. M., you may see them
crawling out of bed; the weather is hot; their heads
are buoyant from the fumes of wine; they stagger
across the room, and are brought up at the back window by a chair or sofa; for ten minutes they sit inhaling the sweet breeze from the cooling waters of the
Hudson; having shaved, washed, and dressed, they
descend, holding fast to the banisters. The breakfasttable is set with every thing to tempt the appetite, but
appetite they have none; a pump-bolt itself could not
cram these good things down their burning throats.
Again they walk slowly on to Wall street, where, in
some soda-water or doctor's shop, they drown their
burning thirst.
Now this is what these men call. good living; fast
living it is, in all conscience; and I think these must be
the very sort of bodies mentioned in the Auld Book,
who "live not o4; half their days."  I know some of
these men;- they were boys when I was married; now
they are old men at forty. You may see them of a




144           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
fine afternoon crawling along by Trinity Church; you
may know them by their short step of three inches; by
placing the heel first on the ground- no elastic spring
of the foot, that bends to the toe —no such thing with
them; already are their toes twice dead-plucked up
by the gout. You may see them bending on their
staff, or holding with both hands to the railing of the
chu.rch-yard-perhaps reading the monumnent of his
grandmother, or the tombstone of some brother of the
cup, long departed, and he himself grinning in horrid
anticipation of the fast-approaching night when he, with
his gouty feet and corny toes, will moulder in that clay.
So much for good living.
Now look at the sober house-mason. At six A. M.,
March 10th, he goes forth to work; at eight, his pretty
little daughter, with a basket of bread and butter, and
may be a smoked herring, all covered with a clean, neat
cloth-a small tin kettle with his pint of coffee: he sets
himself down on a cold stone, where he eats his bread
with a merry heart and a good appetite. Now if this
man is blessed with a thankful heart, and a trust in a
kind Providence, he is happier by far than the man
who fares sumptuously every day, and has no such
trust: no gout, cramp, or dyspepsia ever disturbs his
rest.




GRBNT THORBURN.             145
CHAPTER XI<.
INTEIVIEW WITH THE EDITOR OF THE SUBALTERN NEWSPAPEL-EFFECTS Or
INFIDELITY.-HISTORY OF WILLIAM.-A VISIT FROM HIM.
I CALLED to see Mr., of the Sibaltern newspaper.
This gentleman had given me some very hard names,
because he and I differed about Mr. Paine's principles
and practice. He had said, "I was an old bigoted
Scotch dotard."  I called at his printing-office. "Is
Mr. ~    within?" (he sat by a table examining some
papers'.) "[My name is, sir."  Says I, "}Have
you ever seen me?"  "Not to my knowledge," says
he. Says I, holding out my hand, "My name is
Thorburn."  He colored for a moment. Says I, " You
and I have had a small paper war; now, if there is any
bad feeling between us, I am come to make it good."
We were friends immediately. "Now," says I, "Mr.
—, I do not presume to call you to an account for
your opinions; that is a matter between God and your
own conscience; but I claim an equal right to hold
mine. You think society can exist, and be in more
comfortable circumstances, without religion and the
Bible than with them. I think otherwise: the. experiment was fairly tried in France thirty years ago, when
the Free-thinkers had the government in their hands.
They abolished the Sabbath-they shut up the churches,
and the country became one field of blood.- The ten7




14s           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
dency of your system is to send our clerks and mechanics to the fields on Sunday, where they soon spend their
money,. find bad company, and contract bad habits;
come home at night sorely fatigued, and may be drunk;
next day are unable to enter on the necessary labors of
the week. Ours leads them to the temple of Him in
whom we live, move, and have our being, to thank
IHim tor the mercies of the past week; and in this
there is a luxury of pleasure that only the thankful
heart can feel. There, they are not exposed to bad
company; are not tempted to spend their money;
they do not get drunk; they rest and recruit their
frame: eon Monday morning they enter on the labors
of the'week, refreshed in body and mind, and no
horrible regret at a day misspent." In this strain we
conversed in a comfortable manner near half an hour,
and parted better friends than when we met.
Of late a good deal has be en:said about Miss Wright
and her Temple of Reason. I think the plain, simple,
but true history of myself and William, affords as good
a practical comment on the effects of infidel principles
as any thing I have met with.
In a short time it will be sixty winters since I..first
landed in New York; I was then in my twentieth year,
without a face that I knew, or a friend to counsel or
direct. On the first Sabbath morning after we landed,
three young men of our passengers called and inquired
where I was going to-day? I said, " To church." They
answered, "We have been near ten weeks confined to
the ship; let us now walk out and see the country;
-our health requires exercise, and we can go to church
another day."  I said, " As long as I can remember, I




GRANT THORBURN.             147
have gone to church with my father every Sabbath of
my life; and when we parted, his last words were,
Remember the Sabbath-day." They went to the country —I went to church; they spent a few shillings of
their wages-I put two one-penny corporation-bills* in
the collection for the poor. Some of them were good
mechanics, and got from eight to ten dollars per week;
my branch was poor, and it was only by close application I earned five dollars. per week. They continued
going in the country, found loose company, spent most
of their week's wages, came home half drunk, sometimes caught by a thunder-storm, which spoiled their
fine clothes and hats; rose late on Monday morning,
bones and head aching, and could work but little all
that day. I went to church, saved my wages, rose
early on Monday morning, my bones rested, my head
sound, and started on the labors of the week with
a light heart and quiet conscience. At the end of the
year they could-show fine clothes and powdered heads
on Sunday; but I could show $10Q, piled in the corner of my chest. They have all been gone long ago;
having lived fast, they died early; while I, as one
consequence of regular living, have not been confined
by sickness for one day in all that period.
Now, Mr. Deist and Mrs. Deist, you who profess to
reform the world by destroying the Bible and abolishing the Sabbath-you who profess to speak and write
for the good of society, I would ask you, who lived the
most comfortable life, they or I? Who were the most
* Paper money then in circulation in New York, before the United
States had established a mint.




148           LIFE AND WRITNGS OF
useful members of society? They died, and left their
wives and children beggars.'One of the young men
of whom I speak was a baker: in a fit of intemperance,
while working dough in the trough, alone, he lost his
balance, tumbled in with his head buried in dough, and
in this situation was found dead. This fact is known
to scores of his countrymen now in this city.
If I die.to-night, my family have the tools and hands.3 make themselves independent of the world.
About three months after I landed, there came from
England into the shop where I wrought, a man by the
name of William; he had a fine little woman for a
wife, and one or twb young children. He was an excellent mechanic, and the first, I believe, who manufactured coach-springs in New York; he was, by religious profession, a Baptist, and went to the church in
Gold street. Dr. Foster, I believe, was then the pastor.
He continued a consistent professor, attending church
regularly with his wife and children. But William
was a warm politician-a democrat, as red hot as the
iron he hammered. He was soon found out by the
radicals of that day. About this time there came to
the city a man by the name of Palmer, who was either
born blind, or had lost his sight by disease. This blind
leader of the blind used to lecture on Deism, in what
was then called the Assembly Room, in William street.
William was led by some of his new associates into this
dungeon of despair, and drank deep in their dark and
cheerless doctrine.  In a short time he came out a
flaming Deist; and instead of going with his wife and
children to' church, he led them to Long Island, or the
fields. in Jersey; or he went by himself to some low




GRANTr TEORBiu.            149
tavern, and harangued on Mr. Paine's "Age of Reason," to any set of blockheads who would hear him.
His children, as they grew up, being left to wander
as they pleased, soon associated with bad company,
and turned out worse than good-for nothing. He had
commenced business for himself, and for some time was
in a very thriving way. But now every thing was forgotten in his zeal for propagating his new principles.
You might find him in every street and corner, pouring
out his new light; and so vulgar and. brutish was the
language in which he blasphemed every thing which
society Ei general holds sacred, that moderate men of
any principles got disgusted, shunned his company and
shop, and his worldly circumstances begax to fall into
decay. As old shopmates, he and I have ever been,
and now are, on the most friendly terms when we
meet; and from the beginning have I expostulated
and warned him of the ruin he was bringing on him!self and family in thisaworld, laying the next aside.
Though he could not deny the truth of what I said, yet
he seemed like one who had gone so far that he was
ashamed to recede.
One morning, about ten o'clock, he called on me and
asked for something to buy his breakfast, as he had not
tasted any thing that day. I looked on him with sorrow, almost to crying; says I, " William, has it really
come to this with you?" He said he had not a cent, a
friend, or child to help him in the world. I asked for
his sons and daughters by name-they had all gone to
ruin, or were dead. The few old friends of the William street.lTluinnact     now that he was poor, knew
him not. I gave him a small sum, and told him to call




150           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
on me in his extremity. Says I, " William, there are
my sons and daughters; they are an honor to their
parents, being all useful members of society. Your
children and mine were brought up neighbors to one
another-what should make them to differ?"  He was
silent. Says I, " I told you, thirty-four years ago, your
mad principles would beggar yourself and ruin your
family. -While you carried your children to the fields,
or left them to wander in the road to destruction, I carried mine to the church, where they were not exposed
to bad company; and now they walk in the ways of
wisdom, which are pleasantness and peace."'I added,
"You must now be convinced that religion is the best
thing for this world; and in the next, they who profess
it will be as well off as you. But if the Bible is true,
you may say with the miser,'I was starved in this, and
damned in that which is to come.'"  He confessed I
had the best of the argument, and said he might have
been a rich man if he had stuck to the principles he
brought with him from England. He said he thought
of going into the alms-house-it was a good-last retreat. "And for this," says I to William, " you have
to thank Christianity; for where the Bible is not
known, they have neither alms-house nor hospital." I
have only to add, that this story is no fiction, nor combination of characters that may have existed; but it is
literally true. My friend William now lives; he is a
man of truth, though a Deist, and will vouch for what
I have said, were he asked. If -any one doubts, I can
point them to some of the men, still alive.
August 2, 1833, I had a visit from my friend Wilham; he calls as usual when his funds run low; gave




GRANT THORBURN.            151
him something of the needful. Being a hot day, and
not many customers, we sat and conversed about old
times. Says I, "William, it is now thirty-nine years
since the first week that you and I wrought together.
Now," says I, "William, there is no use of disguise
about principles, or any thing else, between you and
me. You zmust be in the grave soon, and I, though
nearly twenty years younger, may be there first; but
would you do as you have done, could you recall the
last forty years of your life?" He answered firmly, ke
would not. Says I, "In what would you improve?"
Says he, "I never again would deny my religion, or
forsake my church;" and added, " he believed he
would have been among the richest mechanics in New
York, had he only continued in the principles he
brought with him from England." I said, "I believed
he was right;" for, says I, "' William, you will remember often when you got engaged in a dispute, your
bellows and hammer lay still, and your fire went out,
while mine was flying like the clapper of a gristmill."  He smiled, and said, "I was correct."  I
asked, "Where he found those who were most ready
to help, now that he could not help himself, —among
his free-thinking friends, or among the church-going
folks?" He said, "Last winter he was some time
confined to bed by sickness, and was often visited by
ladies'and gentlemen from the Methodist and other
churches, and by the humane societies." They told
him (it is his own words), "though they were opposed
to his principles, yet it was their duty not to see him
want' and added, "that they were very kind to
hiwr Jut very few of his free-thinking brethren ever




152          LE AND wRIrNO OF
came near him." "Now, William," says I, "twentyfive years ago- you branded all these church-going
people as a. set of unqualified hypocrites; but you
have lived to experience the benefits of their principles and practice; they, at least, in this way follow
the example of the Master they profess to serve, for he
always was found in the hovels of the poor, and by
the sick-bed of the wretched. Did you ever see M\iss
Fanny Wright brave the winter's blast and enter the
abodes of misery, like those ladies you speak of?
Did you ever hear of a Deist founding a hospital?
Did you ever hear of a Deist giving thirty tkousand
dollars to a blind institution, as was lately done by a
rich professor in Boston?" He acknowledged he had
not, and that religion was the best thing for this
world, and would do no harm in the next. He said
he had gone wrong; but now it was too late to retract.
William is honest, sober, and kind to man and
beast; industrious, too, he was thirty-eight years ago,
till he. changed his coat; then he spent a large portion of his time in reasoning, disputing, and spreading
abroad his new light. He is courteous, and always
was charitable when he had wherewithal to give.
These, and other good qualities still in his possession,
he learned from the Bible in his youth; and though
he has long since thrown away the book, he yet continues to practise many of its most beautiful precepts.
Those monsters who reigned with Robespierre, and
cemented the pavements in Paris with the blood of.women, were not Christians; they, to be sure, were
born under a most Christian, or a most Catholic ma



GRANT THORBURN.              153
jesty, and might have had the sign of the cross at
baptism; but with regard to its principles and practice they were as ignorant as the beasts that perish;
they were professed free-thinkers, philanthropists-so
full of love for all mankind, that they thought it was
doing the Goddess of Liberty service to cut half the
throats of the present generation, so that they might
transmit the same privilege to the generations to come.




154           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
CHAPTER XV.
OORRESPONDEIICE BETWEEN THOMAS PAINE AND WILLIAM CARVER.
IMAiY of my readers will laugh at the unconnected
nature of my little book; but I hope the interest is not
lessened by it.
I will now fill a chapter with a correspondence between Thomas Paine and William Carver; for in a
short time the men to whom Mr. Paine was personally
known will have vanished from the earth; and what
follows will furnish a valuable document for future
historians, and will be read with interest, and no doubt
with benefit, by many of the present generation who
knew him not. I understand the writer is still an
inhabitanit of this city, and is considered a man of
truth and honorable' dealing with his neighbors; and
though he continues an admirer of Paine's principles,
he has always condemned his practice.
Extracted from  Cheethan's -Life of Paine, p. 253,
published in 1809.
No. I..New York, November 21st, 1806
CITZEN FRIEND-I take this opportunity to inform
you that I am in want of money, and should think it as
a favor if you would settle your account; you must




GRAoT T~SoRnEt.            15'5
consider that I have a large family, and nothing to
support them with but my labor. I have made calculation of my expenses on your account the last time
that you was at my house, and find they amount to
one hundred and fifty or sixty dollars; your stay was
twenty-two weeks, and Mrs. Palmer twelve weeks'
board on your account. I expect,; therefore, you will
have the goodness to pay me; for you must recollect
you was with me almost the whole of the winter -before
last, for which you only gave me four guineas. If I,
like yourself, had an independent fortune, I should
not then require one cent of you; but real necessity,
and justice to my family, thus prompt me to urge
payment from you.
Yours, in friendship,
WMLIAXM CAvaER.
Mr. Thomas Paine.
No. II.
MnR. CARER —I received your letter of the 21st
inst., and as there are several mistakes in it, I sit
down to correct them. You say to me in your letter,"You must recollect you was with, me almost the
whole of the winter before last, for which you only
gave me four guineas." This is a misstatement in
every part of it. I paid you four dollars per week for
the time I was at your house. I told you so when 1
gave you the money, which was in the shop. I had
lodged and boarded at Mr. Glen's in Water street,
before I came to, your house. I padL him five dollars
per week; but I had a good room with a fireplace,
and liquor found for dinner and suppes. At your




156           LIFE AD WRlGS, OF
house, I had not the same convenience of a room, and
I found my own liquor, which I bought of John Fellows: so that you were paid to the full worth of what I
had. As I paid by the week, it does not signify how
long or short the time was; but certainly it was not
"almost the whole of the winter."  I had burnt out
my wood at Mr. Glen's, and did not choose to buy
any new stock, because I wanted to go to New
Rochelle to get Purdy off the farm; I therefore came
to your house in the mean time.'How does it happen
that those who receive do not remember so well as
those who pay?
You say in your letter,-" You have made a calculation of your expenses on my account the last time I
was at your house, and find that they amount to one
hundred and fifty or sixty dollars; that I was twventytwo weeks, and,Mrs. Palmer twelve weeks on my account." I know not how you calculate, nor who helps
you, but I know what the price of boarding is. The
time I was at your house consists of two parts. First,
from the time I came from New Rochelle till I was
taken ill; and from thence till I came away, Nov. 3; I
know not exactly the time I came from New Rochelle, but I can know by writing to M]r. Shute. I
know it was some time before the eclipse, which was
the 16th June. The time I was taken ill I can know
by referring to my will, which is in the hanids of a
friend.
You seem not to know any thing about the price of
boarding. John Fellows took board and lodging for
me and Mrs. Palmer at Winship's, Corlher's Hook.
Winship asked seven dollars per week for me and her.




GRANT THORBURN.            155
The room I was to have was a handsome, spacious
room, and Mrs. Palmer had none, nor a fire to come to
when the weather grew Lold. As to myself, I suffered
a great deal from the cold. There ought to have been
a fire in the parlor.
The things which Mrs. Palmer did for me were those
which belonged to the house to do-making the bed
and sweeping the room; and when it happened Mrs.
Palmer was not there, which often happened, I had a
great deal of trouble to get it done. The black woman
said she should not do any thing but what Mrs. Carver
told her to do; and I had sometimes to call John from
his work to do the servant-woman's work, -and your
wife knew it. Sometimes the room became so dirty
that people that came to see me took notice of it, and
wondered I staid in such a place. I am at a loss to
understand you when you say, "I have made a calculation of my expenditures on your account, and find
they amount to one hundred and fifty or sixty dollars.
Why did you not send me the particulars of that expenditure, that I might know if those particulars were
true or false? The expense, however, that you were
at on my account, was the addition of one more to
your family than you had before I came, and no more,
except for the time Mrs. Palmer was there, which was
not twelve weeks; and your wife often called her down
to cut out and make things for herself and children.
I had tea with brown sugar, and every thing else in
common with the fare of the kitchen i so that, unless I
ate more than anybody else, I was of no more expense
than anybody else. What liquor I had, I sent out for
myself. On what ground, then, is your calculation




158           LKE AND wRrNGS OF
founded? I suppose the case is, that you have been a
good deal cheated, and your wife and son try to make
you believe that the expense has been incurred upon
my account.
I had written thus far on the Sunday evening, when
Mr. Butler called to see me, and I read it to him, and
also your letter; and, I did the same to John Fellows,
who came afterwards. Anybody seeing your letter,
and knowing no further, would suppose that I kept you
out of a great deal of property, and would not settle the
account. Whereas the case is, that I told you the last
time you came for money, and I gave you ten dollars,
that I did not choose to pay any more till the account
was settled; you ought, therefore, to have come for
that purpose, instead of writing the letter you did,
which contains no account at all. I did not like the
treatment I received at your house; in no case was it
friendly, and in many cases not civil, especially from
your wife. She did not. send me my tea or coffee till
everybody else was served, and many times it was not
fit to drink. As to yourself, you ought not to have left
me the night I.as struck with the apoplexy. I find
you came up in the night and opened the little cupboard, and took my watch; did you take any thing
else?
I shall desire John Fellows and Mr. Morton to call
on you and settle the account, and then I desire that
all communications between you and me may cease.
Butler called on me last evening, Tuesday, and told
me your goings on at Martin's on the Sunday night. I
did not think, Carver, you were such an unprincipled,
false-hearted man as I find you to be; but am glad I




GBRAT THORBUNE.            159
have found it out time enough to dispossess you of all
trust I reposed in you when I made my will, and of
every thing else to which your name is there mentioned.
THOMAs PAINE.
No. III.
MR. THOMAS PAmIs-I received your letter, dated the
25th ult., in answer to mine, dated November 21;
and, after minutely examining its contents, I found
that you had taken the pitiful subterfuge of lying for
your defence. You say that you paid me four dollars
per week for your board and lodging during the time
that you were with me prior to the first of June last,
which was the'day that I went up by your order to
bring you to New York, from New Rochelle. It is
fortunate for me that I have a living evidence that saw
you give me four guineas, and no more, in my shop,
at your departure at that time; but you said you would
have given me more, but that you had no more with
you at present. You say, also, that you found your
own liquors during the time you boarded with me; but
you should have said, " I found only a small part of the
liquor I drank during my stay with you; this part I
purchased of John Fellows, which was a demijohn of
brandy, containing four gallons, and this did not serve
me three weeks." This can be proved, and I mean not
to say any thing that I cannot prove; for I hold truth
as a precious jewel. It is a well-known fact that you
drank one quart of brandy per day at my expense,
during the different times you have boarded with me,
the demijohn above mentioned excepted, and the last




160           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
fourteen weeks you were sick. Is not this a supply of
liquor for dinner and supper?  As for what you paid
Mr. Glen, or any other person, that is nothing to me
I am not paid, and found you room and firing besides.
You say, as you paid by the week, it matters not how
long your stay was. I accede to your remark, that the
time of your stay at my house would have been of no
matter, if I had been paid by the week; but the fact is
otherwise. I have not been paid at all, or at least, but
a very small part: prove that I have, if you can, and
then I shall be viewed by my fellow-citizens in that
contemptible, light that they will view you in, after the
publication of this my letter to you. You ask me the
question, " How is it that those who receive do not remember as well as those that pay?" My answer is, I
do remember, and shall give you credit for every farthing I have received, and no more. I will ask yod,
what consolation you derive to your mind in departing
from truth, and endeavoring to evade paying a just
and lawful debt? I shall pass over a great part of
your letter with silent contempt, and oppose your false
remarks with plain truths. As the public will see your
letter as well as mine, they will be able to judge of
your conduct and mine for themselves. You say that
I seem not to know any thing about the price of boarding in- the city; but I know the price is from three
dollars to five, and from that to ten, with an additional
charge if the boarder should be sick for three months
or upwards. I shall show you how I calculate my expenditures by the bill that will be rendered to you; and
I believe it will be an important lesson to those that
may undertake to board you hereafter.  I have no




GRANT THORBURN.            161
person to help me to calculate or write; but fortunately
took the advice of a friend, and got him to keep the
account of all the times you staid with me. You assert that your being at my house only added one more
to the family; I shall prove that it added to the number of three. You know very well when you came I
told you I must hire a servant-girl if you stayed with
me. This I did for five months, at five dollars per
month and her board. This I would not have done
unless you had given me ground to believe you would
have paid me. After you, departure she was discharged. Now, sir, how will you go to prove that
yourself, and Mrs. Palmer, and the servant-girl, are
one - In order to do this you,must write a new system
of mathematics. You complain that I left your room
the night that you pretend to have been seized with the
apoplexy; but I had often seen you in those fits before,
and particularly after drinking a large portion of ardent
spirits-those fits' having frequently subjected you to
falling. You remember you had one of them at Lovett's Hotel, and fell from the top of the stairs to the
bottom. You likewise know I have frequently had to
lift you.from the floor to the bed. You must also remember that you and myself went to spend the evening
at a certain gentleman's house, whose peculiar situation
in life forbids me to make mention of his name; but I
had to go to apologize for your conduct; you had two
of those falling fits in Broadway before I could get
you home.
You tell me that I came up stairs in the night and
opened the cupboard and took your watch; this is one
more of your lies-for I took it during the time yeur




162          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
room *was full of different descriptions of persons,
called from  a porter-house and the street at the
eleventh hour of the night, to carry you up stairs.
After you had fallen over the banisters, and the cupboard-door was open, the watch lay exposed. I told
you the next morning I put your watch in my desk,
and you said I had done right. Why did you not complain before? I believe that I should do the same
again, or any other person in my situation; for had the
watch been lost, you would have thought that I, or
some one of my family, had got it. I believe it will
not be in your power to make one.of my fellow-citizens
believe that, at this period of my life, I should turn
rogue for an old silver watch.
You go on and say, 1" Did you take any thing else?"
Have you assumed the character of a father confessor,
as well as a son of Bacchus. Did you lose any
thing? Why did you not speak out? You have been
so long accustomed to lying, one more.will not choke
you. Now, sir, I have to inform you I lost a silver
spoon that was taken to your room and never returned.
Did you take that away with you  If not, I can
prove that you took something else of my property
without my consent. You likewise gave a French boy
that you imported to this country, or was imported on
your account, a nice pocket-bottle that was neither
yours nor mine, it being the property of a friend, and
has since been called for. I lent the bottle to you at
the time you was sick with what you call apoplexy,
but what myself and others know to be nothing more
than falling drunken fits. I have often wondered that
a French woman, and three children, should leave




GRANT THORBURN.            163
France and all their connections to follow Thomas
Paine to America. Suppose I were to go to my native
country, England, and take another man's wife, and
three children of his, and leave my wife and family in
this country, what would be the natural conclusion
in the minds of the people, but that there was somne
criminal connection between the woman and myself?
You have often told me that the French woman alluded
to has never received one letter from her husband
during the four years she has been in this country.
How comes this to pass?  Perhaps you can explain
the matter. I believe you have broken up the domestic
tranquillity of several families with whom you have
resided; and I can speak by experience as to my own.
I remember you undertook to fall out with my former
wife-and one of the foolish epithets you attempted
to stigmatize her with was, that she originally was only
in the character of a servant. Was this a judicious
remark of the "Author of the Rights of Man " I
well remember the reply she made to you, which was,
that you had not much to boast of on that ground, as
yourself had been a servant to the British government.  And now again you try to break up our
tranquillity by insinuating that my wife and son have
deprived me of my property. I call this 1pitiful employment for a man who calls himself a philanthropist.
When you tell me that Mrs. Palmer did the work
belonging to my family, you know the assertion to be
false, which can be proved by her and others that
resided in the house. You have written well on just
and righteous principles, and dealt them out to others,
but totally deny them in practice yourself; and, for




164          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
my part, I believe you never possessed them. An old
acquaintance of yours and mine called on me a few
days ago. I asked him if he had not been to see
you. His answer was, he had not, neither did he
want to see you. He said he believed that you had a
very good head, but a very bad heart. I believe he
gave a true description of your character in a few
words. It has been my opinion for some time past,
and many more of those you think are your friends,
that all you have written has been to acquire fame, and
not the love of principle; and one reason that led us to
think as we do is, that all your works are stuffed with
egotism. You say, further, that you were not treated
friendly during your stay with me, and hardly civilly.
Have you lost all principles of gratitude, as well as
those of justice and honesty, or did you never-possess
one virtue?
From the first time I saw you in this country to
the last time of your departure; from my house, my
conscience bears me testimony that I treated you as
a friend and a brother, without any hope of extra
reward, only the payment of my just demand. I
often told many of my friends had you come to this
country without one cent of property, then, as long as
I had one shilling, you should have a part. I declare
when I first saw you here I knew nothing of your
possessions, or that you were worth four hundred
sterling per year. I, sir, am not like yourself. I do
not bow down to a little paltry gold,. at the sacrifice
of just principles. I, sir, am poor, with an independent
mind, which, Wrhaps, renders me more comfort than
your independent fortune renders you. You tell me




GRANT THORBURN.            165
further, that I shall be excluded fi~m any thing and
every thing contained in your will. All this I totally
disregard. I believe if it was in your power, you
would go further, and say you would prevent my
obtaining the just and lawful debt you contracted
with me; for, when a man is vile enough to deny a
debt, he is not honest enough to pay without being
compelled. I have lived fifty years on the bounty and
good providence of my Creator, and I do not doubt
the goodness of his will concerning me. I likewise
have to inform you that I totally disregard the powers
of your mind and pen; for, should you, by your conduct, permit this letter to appear in public, in vain
may you attempt to print or publish any thing afterwards. Do you look back to my past conduct respecting you, and try if you cannot raise one grain of
gratitude in your heart towards me for all the kind
acts of benevolence I bestowed on you. I showed
your letter, at the'time I received it, to an intelligent
friend; he said it was a characteristic of the vileness
of your natural disposition, and ought to damn the
reputation of any man. You tell me that I should
have come to you, and not written the letter. I did so
three times; and the last you gave me the ten dollars,
and told me you were going to have a stove in a
separate room, and then you would pay me. One
month has passed, and I wanted the money, but still
found you with the family that you resided with; and
delicacy prevented me from asking you for pay of
board and lodging. You never told me to fetch the
account, as you say you did. When I called the last
time but one, you told me to come on the Sunday




166           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
following, and you would pay or settle with me; I
cam.e according to order, but found you particularly
engaged with the French woman and her two boys:
whether the boys are yours, I leave you to judge; but
the oldest son of the woman, an intelligent youth, I
suppose about fourteen years of age, has frequently
told me and others, that you were the complete ruin of
their family, and that he despised you; and said that
your character at present was not so well known in
America as in France.
You frequently boast of what you have done for the
woman above alluded to; that she and her family have
cost you two thousand dollars-and since you came the
last'time to New York you have been bountiful to her,
and given her one hundred dollars at a time. This
may' be all right. She may have rendered you former
and present secret services, such as are not in my
power to perform; but, at the same time, I think it
would be just in you to pay your debts. I know that
the poor black woman at New Rochelle that you hired
as a servant, who, I believe, paid every attention to
you in hir power, had to sue you for her wages before
you would pay her, and Mr. Shute had to become your
security.
A respectable gentleman from New Rochelle called
to see me a few days past, and said that everybody
was tired of you there, and no one would undertake to
board. and lodge you. I thought this was the case, as
I found you at a tavern in a most -miserable situation.
You appeared as if you had not been shaved for a fortnight, and as to a shirt, it could not be said that you
had one -on; it was only the remains of one, and this




GRANT THORBURN.            167
likewise appeared not to have been off your back for a
fortnight, and was nearly the coloi- of tanned leather;
and you had the most disagreeable smell possible, just
like that of our poor beggars in England. Do you not
recollect the pains I took to clean you? That I got a
tub of warm water and soap, and 4shed you from
head to foot, and this I had to do three times before I
could get you clean. I likewise shaved you and cut
your nails, that were like.bird's clws. I remember a
remark that I made to you at that time, which was,
that you put me in mind of Nebuchadnezzar, who is
said to have been in this situation. Many of your toenails exceeded half an inch in length, and others had
grown round your toes, and nearly as far under as they
extended on the' top. Have you forgotten the pains I
took with you when you lay sick, wallowing i-4 your
own filth? I remember that I got Mr. Hooton (a friend
of mine, and whom I believe to be one of the besthearted mentin the world) to assist me in removing and
cleaning you. He told me he wondered how I could
do it; for his part, he would not like to do the same
again for ten-dollars. I told him you were a fellowbeing, and that it was our duty to assist each other in
distress. Have you forgotten my care of you during
the winter you stayed with me?  How I put you in bed
every night, with a warm brick at ybur feet, and treated yofi like an infant one month old? Have you forgotten, likewise, how you destroyed my bed and bedding by fire, and also a great-coat that was worth ten
dollars? I have shown the remnant of the coat to a
tailor, who says that cloth of that quality could not be
bought for six dollars per yard. You never said that




168          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
you were sorry for the misfortune, or said that you
would recompense me for it. I could say a great deal
more, but I should tire your and the public's patience.
After all this, and ten times as much more, you say
you were not treated friendly or civilly. Have I not
reason to exclaim, and say-O the ingratitude of your
obdurate heart!
You complain of the room you were in; but you
know it was the only one I had to spare —it is plenty
large enough for one person to sleep in. Your. physicians, and many others, requested you to remove to a
more airy situation, but I believe the only reason why
you would not comply with the request was, that you
expected to have more to pay, and not to be so well
attended; you might think nobody would keep a fire,
as I did, in the kitchen, till eleven or twelve o'clock at
night, to warm things for your comfort, or take you
out of bed two or three times a day, by a blanket, as I
and my apprentice did for a month: for my part, I did
so till it brought on a pain in my side, that prevented
me from sleeping after I got to bed myself.
I remember, during one of your stays at my house,
you were sued in the justices' court by a poor man, for
the board and lodging of the French woman, to the
amount of about thirty dollars; but, as the man had
no proof, and only depended on your word, he was
nonsuited, and a cost of forty-two shillings thrown upon
him. This highly gratified your unfeeling heart. I
believe you had promised payment, as you said you
would give the French woman money to go and pay it
with. I know it is customary in England, that when
any gentleman keeps a lady, he pays her board and




GRANT THORBRN.             169
lodging. You complain that you suffered with the
cold, and that there ought to have been a fire in the
parlor. But the fact is, that I expended so much
money on your account, and received so little, that I
could not go to any further expense, and if I had, I
should not have got you away. A Fiend of yours
that knew my situation, told you that you ought to
buy a load of wood to burn in the parlor; your answer
was,' that you should not stay able a week or two,
and did not want to have the wood to remove. This
certainly would have been a hard case for you, to have
left me a few sticks of wood.
Now, sir, I think I have drawn a complete portrait
of your character; yet, to enter upon every minutia
would be to give a history of your life, and to develop
the fallacious mask of hypocrisy and deception, under
which you have acted in your political as well as
moral capacity. There may be many grammatical
errors in this letter. To you I have no apologies to
make; but I hope the candid and impartial public will
not view them "with a critic's eye."
WILLIAM CARVER.
Thomas Paine, New York
Dec. 2, 1806.
8




10M          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
CHAPTER XVI.
DEATH OF THOMAS PAIN E.-FREE-THINKING
IT is not true,   has been reported, that Mr. Paine
recanted his free-tlinking principles on his death-bed.
His physician-a man of good standing and respectability-informed me, that in the same hour that Mr.
Paine died he was in the room. Mr. Paine's complaint was excruciating, and ever as the convulsions
returned, he would exclaim-" Lord, help! Lord, help!
Lord Jesus, help!" he had then a few minutes' respite
from the pains. The doctor stood by his bed: says he,
"Mr. Paine, you have published to the world, and we
all know your sentiments on that subject; I ask you
now, as a man who will be in eternity before one hour,
am I to understand you as really calling on the Lord
Jesus for help " He thought for about one minute,
and then replied-" I don't wish to believe on that
manr!" These were his 1   words, for in twenty
minutes thereafter he died. It is a fact, that he ap
plied (officially) to the Society of Friends to have his
body buried in their ground; and when notified of
their refusal, seemed much hurt.
"Men may live fools, but fools they cannot die."
YOUNG.
Mr. Paine, with all his failings, was a man of strong
mind. I remember (and I have heard him state the




GRANT THORBURN.             71
fact), when Louis XVI. was condemned by the Convention to suffer death, each- member, on voting, was
obliged to state his reasons; when it came to Mr.
Paine, he voted against his death; and, among others,
gave the following very sound reason:-" As I think,"
says he, "gentlemen, we are not making war on the
person of the king, as a man-,we are contending for
principle. Unfortunately for Louis, he was born a king
-he could not help it-it was not his fault. Let us
spare his life —give him a sum of money to live on, and
banish him to America-there he can do no harm." I
thought this the best speech he ever made since the
day he wrote the book on " Common Sense."
About January, 1830, there appeared in the Commercial Advertiser a piece taken from Blackwood's
Magazine, of November 1829, an anecdote of Thomas
Paine:* how it found its way into Blackwood, I know
not: but the incidents are true to a letter. I was in
Scotland some years ago; and, if I remember right,
my brother, who now lives in the neighborhood of
Edinburgh, was so pleased with the story, that he
made me leave it with him in writing. I suspect this
accounts for it. Be thismas it may, this, the history of
myself and William, has brought all the free-thinkers
between Passamaquoddy and Baltimore on my back.
I have received as many books, pamphlets, newspapers,
and letters, as did our good friend General M'Clure,
when he proposed, in the august assembly of this State,
to take all the collars from the dogs, and tie them
round the necks of the bachelors. (By-the-by, I think
* See page 104.




172          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
the General was more than half right in that affair; for
in a country like this, where we have more victuals
than we can eat, and more trees growing than there are
men to cut them down, I think no bachelor above
twenty-five ought to be tolerated.) I have deferred
answering any of them till they were done, thinking I
might then make a kind of wholesale job, and make
one letter do for them all. I find no fault with these
gentlemen how free they think, or how deep they
think, or how long they think; but I think they have
taken a liberty of thinking about me, and putting their
thoughts in black and white, to such a length, that
neither common decency nor common sense will warrant. And'first,'a curious fellow in ProvidenceSubaltern by name-calls me an old dotard Scotchman,
and says as much as I won't let Mr. Paine slumber in
the grave of the venerated dead. (Mark this, gentlemen! venerated dead!)  Now, what he means by
dotard, I know not; but suppose it may be one'of his
crank Yankee words for drunkard; but if this is his
meaning, I can only tell him it's not true, for I never
was drunk in my life-but a Scotchman I am, and I
glory in the name. I wouldarather be a Scotch mechanic, possessing the comforting principles of their
simple and sedate family fireside religion, than be
Emperor of all the Russias, with his crown, lands, and
royalty; for I think (and I have as good a right to be
a free-thinker as any of them) that the national, moral
character of the Scotch will stand an unanswerable
argument against all the sophistry of Deism, as long
as wood grows and water runs. He next blames me
about disturbing Mr. Paine's grave. Why, I thought




GRANT THORBURN.             173
that every free-thinker, in America at least, knew that
Mr. Paine, like his old.friend Mahomet, had no grave
under the sun. He once had a grave; but his warm
disciple, the rapacious Cobbett, had his dry bones
scratched out of the ground, and carried with him to
England. This is fact; and if fame' speaks true, he
had them made into jacket-buttons, and sold to the
radicals, at a very high price, thus supporting the
principle of making the most of his friends everywhere. On his late visit of love. to this country, he
sold his little black pigs to all the good democrats who
would buy them for five pounds currency apiece,
when, at the same time, they could have bought better
pigs from the Dutch farmers at Bergen for one dollar.
Another of these thinking gentlemen calls me an old
nail-maker-that's not true, for all the nails I ever
made were new when I had finished them. Another
tells me to let the subject rest, for I have not got the
brains to pursue it. Now, this is an honest fellow, and
speaks the truth. Another says, it's not true when I
assert that the common people in Ireland don't read
the Bible. Says he,'Uhey do read the Bible, but it is
not the Bible of the fanatics and missionaries-it is
the Bible of the Fa't her." Now, I never had the
pleasure to see this same Bible of his Fathers; but I
have been thinking if it is not a better specimen of
domestic manufacture than many of the sons, it must
be a pretty rough sort of an article. Another says,
"I got Dr. Brownlee, or one of the holy Vandals who
want to stop the mail on Sunday, to write Cardeus,
Index,* &c. Now, this is not true; for neither man,
* These names refer to communications made from times to time to




174            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
woman, nor child, either composed, wrote, read, or saw
a word of any of these pieces,.till I put them in the
hands of the printer. Besides, I never saw a Vandal
in America since the year 1813 or 1814, when they
burned up all the bonnie books and pictures.at Washington. Again, there is not a doctor of law, of physic,
or divinity, in the city, who saw as much of Thomas
Paine as I did; and therefore I think they are not so,
competent to write about him; besides, truth is so
easily told, that the veriest fool can give a straight
story, where no twistification is necessary. But the
last, though not the least in importance puts the following plain questions:-lst, Did you not fair' in
1813?  2d, Having become rich, is it consistent with
your Bible to refuse paying your honest debts?  3d,
Where did you get the money to pay for the Quaker
Meeting-house?  And then he tells me to pull the
beam  out of my own eye, as mny Bible directs, &c.
Now, as I believe this is an honest inquirer after
truth, and preaches sound Bible doctrine, I will answer
him in words of truth and soberness: I will answer
the last question first. I got the money to pay for the
Quaker Meeting-house (as you call it) from Mr. Robert
Lenox, in Broadway. 2d, I am not rich in money,
though I account myself the richest man in America,
as I.would not change situation even with your friend
Andrew himself; for no growling, hungry democrat
can squeeze me out of my living, and he, honest man,
newspapers and other public journals. I gave the substance of the history of William and myself under the signature of " Cardeus;" and
the correspondence between Paine and Carver under the signatu&ieiof
"Index."




GRANT THORBURN.              175
has to please all the sovereign people; and millions of
them are most sovereign and consummate fools. To
return. I did pay my lonest debts. When I failed in
the Jerseys, property that cost me above twelve thousand dollars, was sold by the sheriff for about two
thousand eight hundred. I returned to New York
without a dollar. Mr. G. IH. (of the house of HI. B. &
B.), a man of feeling, loaned me five hundred dollars.
I repaid this money, and settled with all my lawful
creditors to their satisfaction. To some I. paid the
whole original bill; to some seventy-five cents on the
dollar, and some few fifty; but the last sums were their
own proposals. There is one exception in the person
of a very respectable and wealthy merchant in South
street, who always refused to receive any part of a considergble sum I owed him when I failed, till, as he
expressed himself, I was more able to spare it. The
heavy purchase of the meeting-house, atid above four
toqusand dollars' assessments since, has put it out of
my power to pay him any thing as yet; but I account
myself no less his debtor. Any decent persons who
wish to satisfy themslves of the truth of this assertion,
and will call at the store, I will show them receipts to
the amount of nearly three thousand dollars for debts I
owed before I obtained the benefit of the Inso 0ent Law.
Nonw, my honest-intending, free-thinking friends, I
hope you are satisfied on this point. When you put
the questions, I sincerely think that you supposed the
censures implied in them' were true; and as you
thought I had set jup for a preacher of righteousness,
you had a most undoubted right to say, "Physician,
heal thyself." I agree with you, that I know members




17'6         LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
of churches rolling in wealth, while the widows and
orphans they have defrauded are begging. But our
Bible countenances no such deeds of darkness; it says
a day is coming when these deeds will be brought to
light, and punished. An angel of light is no less an
angel because the devil steals his cloak when he wants
to deceive. If the Mechanics' Bank was not a sound
one, and ten dollar bills equal in value to ten hard
dollars, the counterfeiting fraternity would never forge
them. Who ever thought of counterfeiting a Marble
or Exchange Bank* bill?
The substance of these remarks on free-thinking, and
my replies to their attacks, which I had made through
one of the New York newspapers, provoked the ire of
Miss Fanny Wright and her cousins. In their profound wisdom they deigned not or could not, or in
their sovereign contempt they would not, answer them.
But a plot, Vs deep and dark as ever sprung from the
kitchen of hell, was planned, matured, and partly put
inmotion, with a view to hurt my reputation. The
first act in the play commenced with the following
copy of a letter, dated at
"Philadelphia, Dec. 8, 1829.
"Mi. GNT THOR;BURN,
" Sin-The directors of the American Sunday School
Union have observed some notices in thie New York
papers, under your signature, relative to the effects of
infidelity upon those who have embraced its cheerless
doctrines. They conceive that views of the kind such
as you have advanced, are precisely those needed at
* ITwo unauthorized banks.




GRANT THORBURN.             177
present to check the irreligious spirit which is prevalent among us. Practical narratives of the efects of
such sentiments upon the characters and destinies of
individuals, are calculated to arrest the attention of
the reader much more than a course of abstract reasoning.
"-Actuated by these views of the subject, the Sunday School Union propose to publish in a tract the
narrative which you have caused to be printed in the
papers of New York; that is, if the directors succeed
in making an arrangement upon the subject with you.
They propose that you should rewrite the whole, improving it by alteration and addition, as you may think
proper. It would be well if you could add a few anecdotes similar to that published in the' Evening Post' of
Tuesday last; and matter enough should be furnished
to fill about twelve duodecimo pages.
" The Sunday School Union do not expect that you
will take this trouble without compensation, and they
are willing to make you a payment of one hundred
dollars, if your manuscript shall suit their purpose.
"If you decline this proposal, you will please to
communicate that decision to me as soon as you conveniently can. If you accept it, -be good enough, without delay, to commence preparing the copy for the
printer; for we should like to put it into his hands in
the course of eight or ten days, if possible. Let your
letter inclose the manuscript; and signify to us how
you:should like to have the money transmitted.
"I am, sir, with much respect, yours, &c.
" ROBERT BAIRD,
agent of STnday School Union."
8*




178          mLIFE AND WRITINGS OF
It never entered my head that this letter was a forgery. I therefore answered it in substance, that I did
not write for money-that I had no time to make and
revise manuscripts-that if they thought the pieces
referred to worth any thing, they might crop, prune,
alter, or amend them as they pleased; and thought
they were too flush of money to offer one hundred
dollars for an article of so small value, &c. In a.few
days Mr. Baird called at my store, and showed me the
answer I had written him, and said he knew not what
it meant. I produced the letter with his signature,
which he read with attention, and pronounced it a forgey in toto: but-added, it was an excellent imitation.
This letter I now have in my possession. It bears the
Philadelphia post-mark, Dec. 3, 1829.
Now, these kind-hearted philanthropists had thought
to bring me into a ludicrous mess by drawing on the
American Sunday School Union for one hundred dollars; but the bait was lost. I had no thought that
Miss Fanny or her friends were the authors of this
piece of bea'utiful simplicity. Men who were continually talking about the immzutability of truth, and the
eternal fitness of things, I thought would not have seen
fit to practise such a small piece of deception.
The second act (viz. the C  affair) was only a link
of the same chain. This also fell shortpf its aim: it
gave me a lesson, however, on my own folly and ignorance, that will not soon be forgotten. Some of the
foregoing pieces were copied into many of the periodicals in America, and a few into those of Europe. I
began to think I was something, when, in reality, I was
lighter than nothing and vanity.




GIANT THORBURN.              179
CHAPTER XVII.
MR. AND MRS. K........-A PLANT REMOVED.-MY OPINION OF THEATRES.OF RELIGIOUS HYPOCaISY.-A BOOKSELLER, AND THE SON OF A BOOKSELLER.
SOME years ago, being a passenger on board of the
steamboat North America, we stopped at West Point.
The annual examination of the cadets had just closed.
-, the secretary of war at that time, had been presiding, and, in consequence of an invitation from the
corporation of Newburg, came on board of our boat, on
his way to visit that ancient borough. He and his
lady were escorted to the wharf by all the officers and
professors of that station, with a company of cadets,
and a fine band of music. On our way going up, I
was introduced to them by a gentleman, one of our
passengers, and enjoyed a pleasant conversation With
him till we arrived at Newburg. There, on the wharf,
ready to receive him, were assembled the corporation,
and most of the respectable men of the town: a procession was formed. I was invited to join; and we
were thus escorted, with a band of music, to the
Orange Hotel, and were marshalled' into the large
room, where the glass and the toasts went round. I
was called on, and gave the health of the secretary of
war-hoping he would never need to test the practical
part of his office. From my plain dress he supposed I
belonged to-the Friends, and remarked, he presumed,




180          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
by profession, I was opposed to war. I answered, " I
am not a follower of Fox; but I hold it is better to receive- a blow on one cheek, and then turn the other,
than to have one's head blown off altogether by a cannon or pistol ball." This produced a hearty laugh, in
which he joined, and so that matter ended.
Mrs. E. is a handsome woman, and has been much
spoken against. However, of her character I pretend
not to judge; but from her manners and conversation,
the short time we were in company, I formed a very
favorable opinion. If the proposition be true, that the
face is the index of the mind, sure am I that nothing
unholy or impure can dwell in hers. I have thought it
most likely that some of those brainless, senseless,
penniless, blustering young officers, whose company
her husband, from the nature of his office, could not
altogether avoid, may have boasted of favors which
they never received; and so, with the fiend-like malice
of hell, conspired to deface one of the most beautiful
objects in all the creation of God. Just like the old
devil, their master, who could not rest when he saw the
beautiful, youthful, and happy simplicity of our grandmother Eve, but must needs come with his lies and
serpent-like tricks, and was never satisfied till he got
the gates of the garden of Eden shut in her face.
One morning, about three years ago, there came
into our premises a young man, leading on his arm a
very pretty girl. -They stopped about an hour; she
seemed very fond of flowers, and partieularly fixed
her laughing eyes on a beautiful japonica. He appeared much inclined to indulge her taste, and would
have bought it, but the price was five dollars. Her ]




oRNT  THOgByRi.            181
knew-him I knew not. He appeared to me, however,
to be one of those Broadway clerks who, instead of
going to church, ride out of a Sunday, and spend their
week's wages; by which means they have no money
to spare either to treat their sweetheart or to pay their
washerwoman. Be this as it may, that evening, between eight and nine o'clock (the time.of shutting our
gates), the plant disappeared. My suspicions fell on
the young man as above. I Resolved next morning on
going immediately to the house of the young lady with
pretext of giving her some advice about the plants
I knew she had in the yard, hoping I would find my
own gracing the company. At once my mind took a
different turn. I thought with myself thus: these
young people seemed very fond of one another-pity
that I should spoil so much happiness for the sake of
a paltry five-dollar bill.  Should I find the plant, it
will expose him, and, no doubt, spoil the marriagefor her father is a sterling, honest Dutchman. Now,
thought I, should they get married, she may save him'from the paws of the devil, from whom many a simple
bachelor has been snatched ere this by the helping
hand of a good wife; besides, should the old gentleman approve the match, no doubt he will empty one
of the black leather'bags to set them a-housekeeping,
and she having the money, will be able to indulge her
fine taste for plants; so, by this means, I may help
to count some of the dollars, and thus recover more
than I have- lost. On thus reflecting, I very quietly
gave up the pursuit. To make a long story short, in
a few weeks after this they were married, by the consent' of all parties; but whether my surmises were




182          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
right or wrong founded, gave me no further concernas from the delicate hand of the pretty daughter I came
in for a share of the old gentleman's dollars, sufficient
to make up the previous loss, and pay a reasonable per
centage besides.
Now the same cords of love that impelled him to
follow, still lead him along with her to the house of
God. Each beautiful Sabbath morning they pass my
door on their way to church; she still hangs on his
arm, and looks in his face as fondly as she did on that
morning when they first entered my garden. I can
read, in their animated conversation, and the frequent
turn of the head to look on each other's face, as they
pass along, that they are happy in each other-and
may they long continue so!
It is many years since this thing took place; but I
never look on them without a feeling of gratitude to
that kind, directing Providence, which turned the
course of my thoughts, and prevented me from precipitately running into a project which might have
destroyed so much happiness, and ruined him, soul
and body-for I think his wife was the means of his
reformation.
I have some peculiar notions on theatres, which I
think it well to put in print. When Mr., of the
London theatre, arrived in our city, as is the custom
of most strangers, he called at our store. In compliance with an invitation, I spent an evening with him at
his lodgings, and found him to be a man of sound
sense, a believer in revealed religion, and in the doctrine of a Particular Providence. Our conversation, of
course, turned on theatrical subjects. He was sure




GRAINT THORBUIRN.           183
prised when he learned I had never seen a play. I
said, for aught that I knew, plays might be good
enough in themselves, but as I always went to bed at
exactly ten o'clock, I could not forego the pleasure of
lying down on my.conlfortable bed, after being tired
with the labors of the day, for all the plays in the
worldc  besides, from  the general character of the
actors, and of those who frequented the house, I could
never think that the theatre was a school for morality.
I observed, that wherever I had seen a play-house
erected, there sprung up immediately around it a
porter-house, a gambling-house, an oyster-house, and a
house that perhaps was worse than any of them; and
that the frequenters of the former were generally the
supporters of the latter. I told him that one night,
about thirty years ago, a fire broke out in the house
next door to the theatre in Chatham street. It was
play-night, and most of the audience emptied themselves into the. street. The fire was soon extinguished;
the mob returned into the house, making a great crowd.
I thought now was a good opportunity to see the inside
of a play-house, and how matters were managed there;
so in I crowded among the rest. As soon as order was
restored, a fellow came out, dressed like an English
wagoner: he had a whip in his halna, and walked
round the stage singing a song; he gave a smart crack
with the whip —the people clapped their hands, and
roared out encore! encore/ Thinks I to myself, either
the people must be fools, or I very dull of apprehension,
as I neither. saw nor heard any thing to raise a smile.
Seeing nothing on the stage to draw my attention, I
turned my face to the boxes; but here a- sight met-my




184           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
eyes which spoke louder than the thunder of Witherspoon's eloquence, or the still small voice of Miller's
strong arguments against the immorality of the stage.
It was the fashion, of that day for the ladies to wear
their frocks cut pretty low in the neck. Well, there sat
mothers-ladies who moved in circles very respectable-members of churches, and grandmothers wthal.
There they sat, surrounded by daughters and granddaughters, from twelve to twenty-four, in all the immodesty of naked truth. Thinks I, for the soul of
them they dare not appear in church so. However, I
supposed this might be the meaning of'the words I
saw on a large green blanket, they had hung up over
the stage —" Holding the mirror upy to nature."  He
remarked, with a smile, that there was too much truth
in what I had said.
When I have leisure, and observe any thing very
smart or very ludicrous, I generally write it down.
Tn the forenoon of one August day there came into
the store a genuine Mansfield Yankee. He stood leaning on the counter near ten minutes without speaking.
"c Well, sir," said I, "what is wanting?"
" Nothing particular," said he; " only I am the son
of B    D-, who kept a book-store in Water street,
thirty-three years ago, and with whom you were well
acquainted."
"You look like him," said I; "and how do you live?"
"By serving the Lord," said he, "as well as I knows
how."
"Then," says I, "you are a preacher 2"
"No; I teach the languages."
I thought it must be the dead languages, for he




GRANT THORBURN.            185
looked as dead as a snail; and I knew by the " cut of
his jib," and the stock he sprung from, that he was preparing to open his battery on charity; so, thinks I, I
will have the first shot. "And why are you not teach —
ing now?" said I.
"My health will not admit; it was too sedentary,"
replied he.
"Well," said I, "go and hoe corn —that's a healthy
trade."
"It blisters my hands," replied he.
" When first I began to handle the hammer," said I,
"my hands blistered too; but I wrought the blister
down, and wrought till my hands grew as hard as a
horn; and though I have wrought, on an average,
from six in the morning till nine at night for fifty
years past, yet my hands have not blistered since:
besides, you say you serve the Lord as well as you
know how. But," says I, " you must be first diligent
in business, and then fervent in spirit, if you mean to
serve Him; and Paul also comes in, closing the matter
at once: he says,'the man that won't work should not
eat.' NoWv," says I, " when a widow with two children
comes begging, right or wrong, I help her; but a
bachelor of thirty, sound in leg and limbsj et him work
or die." I turned to speak to a customer-he was offI saw no more of him.
This young fellow is a chip of the old block; the
father did little else for twenty-five years than go from
house to house, talking largely on the theory of religion; with regard to the practice of the thing, he knew
nothing about it. You might find him in almost every
house and family belonging to the Brick Church and




186           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
Wall street congregation, talking to the children and
the servants on religion-laying down in plain colors
and ambiguous terms, to the master and mistress of
the house, the vast difference there did exist between
Antinomianism and Hopkinsianism-between Arminianism and Socinianism, &c., &c., in great swelling
words, and words of profound nonsense. The man and
wife sat with eyes staring and jaws extended, swallowing every word as gospel itself; wondering at the
head that could contain more than was to be found in
the whole of. Boston's'"Body of Divinity." In this
way he would sit till dinner was announced. He
was invited, of course. At four P. M. he would resume the application, and, if listened to, would sit till
tea, or adjourn to some other house and act the same
farce, till he made sure of his tea. In this way he
took the care of all the families in both churches on
his generous shoulders, while his own wife and children
might have gone to ruin for him.. Now this man
(and there are many such), though every day he was
quoting Scripture by the yard, was worse than an
infidel, inasmuch as he provided not for those of his
own house. He'had a store of books, procured from
his honest and sincere brethren of the church (who
thought him a very dungeon of divinity); but you
might have called at his store one hundred times in a
week, you would never find him  there. He gave
notes, too, and got some of his honest, unsuspecting
brethren in the church to endorse them. He thought
no more of the matter. When his friend got notice,
that the holder looked to him for payment, he waits on
brother D. S.:'" How is this, brother?"




GRANT TRORBURN.             187
4O, my dear sir, I never thought a word about the
note-thought it not due for a month to come yetnever gave a note before," &c. This was all his friend
got for $150; and though this fellow pretended ignorance, yet there was not a Yankee between Eastport
and Gravesend who knew the meaning of a note lhetter than himself.
Now this is no painted character, but a true facsimile of C. D., bookseller in Water street, near Fletcher, about thirty-three years gone by. I had a substantial remembrance from himself; and at this day I
could direct your attention to twa score and twa just
exactly such mortals-men who do more harm to the
cause they profess to support than all the infidels who
have lived since the days of Herod the tetrarch.




188            LIFE AND WRITINS OF
CHAPTER XVIII.
ACQUAINTANCE WITH WILLIAM COBBETT. —SUCCESS OF EMIGRANT SCOTCHMEN.-REMARKS ON FORMS OF GOVERNMENT.-ON EMIGRATION IN GENERAL.-AN ANECDOTE.-" APARTMENTS TO LET."
WHEN William Cobbett kept seed-store in New York,
in May, 1818, the following address appeared in the
"Evening Post:"
"Willian Cobbett's Address to the Public.
"I have received from my own farm, in Hampshire,
a quantity of the seed of Ruta Baga, or Russia Turnip,
of which I shall sell all that I do not want for my own
use at the price of one dollar for a pound weight. It
will be put up in pound parcels, and sold.by my man
in his wagon, in the Fly Market, New York, every
Saturday, between an early hour in the morning and
two o'clock in the afternoon: I shall put my name on'
the parcels.
"A storekeeper who has been selling Russia turnipseed in New York, having a fine large turnip as a
specimen, bought, I am informed, of my man, and says
it was raised from his seed. This may probably not
be recognizable in a court of law; but it may be worth
the consideration of this storekeeper, whether it be not
recognizable in a court of conscience. Mr. Thorburn
has advertised that his Russia turnip-seed is as good as
mine; I am very glad of it, for in that case it is a great




GRANT THORBJURN.           189
deai better than seedsmen in England sell, except by
mere accident. I am exceedingly glad that America
contains a seedsman who is scrupulous about what he
sells; though in that respect she possesses, what I believe my native country —dear old England-never
possessed, viz., an honest seedsman.
"Dated at Hyde Park, L. I., 16th June, 1818.
(Signed)     "WILLIAM COBBErr."
Next day I carried the following answer to the
"'Evening Post," and offered to pay for its insertion:
Coleman refitsed. - However, it was published in another paper.
"MR. PImTER,
"ScI, —Now that Bonaparte and William Cobbett
have gone into dignified retirement-the one to catch
shrimps in Saint Helena, the other to raise Ruta Baga
turnips on Long Island —I presume you are not so
pressed with important matter but that, if inclined, you
can spare me part of a column of your paper to state
the following facts. Perhaps, too, when you consider
the mighty inequality of the.parties-one, a small
seedsman; the other, a powerful author, whose porcupine quill, dipped in republican gall, has shook the
monarch's throne-pity may induce you to give me a
chance to rub off the dust thrown on my coat by an
advertisement in your paper of yesterday, signed' William Cobbett;' in which, if I understand his meaning,
he says I sold Russia turnip-seed, and told people it
was raised from his turnips, or was his seed; and talks
about the courts of law and courts of conscience, &c.




190           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
The following is the truth: —Coming up Wall street,
about the 2d or 3d of last April, I was overtaken by
the young man who attends the business of Mr. Cobbett's Register office in this city. He stated that Mr.
Cobbett was anxious to get some one to sell his Russia
turnip-seed, and that at his office there was some of
the turnips, to which, if I would send, he would give
me one. I thanked him, and said I would sell the seed
for Mr. Cobbett, he allowing me good commissionssent to the office (not to the wagon), got the turnip,
placed it on the counter, and to all inquiries said it
was of Cobbett's turnips, and that I would warrant
my Russia turnip-seed to be as good as his; as mine
was not got from a seed-shop, but was brought over by
a gentleman who, like Mr. Cobbett, came off as fast
at his feet could carry him, and who got his seed, not
from a'seedsman, but from a friend in old England,
just as Mr. Cobbett got his. I also told my customers
that I was surprised, when he, Mr. Cobbett, knew that
the people in this country were so wise and enlightened,
how he thought he would make them believe he was
the first to introduce that turnip, when we had it in our
Fly Market every spring these twenty years past; that
ten years ago I had sold the seeds that produced the
same roots of turnip; that we always knew it by- the
name of Russia, or Swedish, or Ruta Baga; and that
the bulb was always yellow. There is not an old farmer on Long Island but remembers raising that selfsame turnip when Mr. Cobbett was writing long letters
in his'dear old England.'
"In the year 1796 a large field of these turnips
was raised by Wm. Br2Aat on that piece of ground




GRANT TIOlRBOEtN.                191
now occupied by the Navy Yard, at the city of Washington. If Mr. Cobbett will turn to page 545 of'Porcupine's Gazette,' published at that time by Mr. Wm.
Cobbett, printer, in Philadelphia, perhaps he will find
an account of said field. At No. 43 Beekman street,
in New York, lives a gentleman who assisted in pulling the Russia turnips from said field in 1796. Had
Mr. Cobbett: been the first'to introduce this fine vegetable into America, he deserved, as Mr. Windham said
on another occasion,'a statue of gold.'*  To conclude,
it is not the least of the wonders of the nineteenth
century to see William Cobbett and Grant Thorburn
scolding one another in the Fly Market, and quarrelling about who sells the best Ruta Baga seed at one
dollar per pound.
(Signed)     "GRANT THORBURN."
Next morning after this advertisement appeared I
received a polite letter of apology, with an invitation
to call and see him. I went, and spent half a day
very agreeably, in getting the history of his life, &c.
He asked how I, a nailmaker, come to be so extensive
in the seed business. I answered, I landed in this
country with only three cents in my pockets: while
making nails, it was as much as I could do to earn
* Some time about the year 1800, Dr. Rush, of Philadelphia, obtained
a verdict of some thousand dollars against Cobbett, for defamation of
character; he then sold out, and went home. He applied to parliament for a sinecure, or share of the secret-service money. Mr. Windham, in his speech on that occasion, remarked, that for the services
Cobbett had rendered to the cause of kings by his writing in America,
he deserved a statue of gold.




192           LIFE AD WRIINGS OF
seventy-five cents per day. Two dollars I paid for my
board, twenty-five cents for washing, and twenty-five
cents to spend, making sure to lay up two dollars per
week. Now, says I, mark the difference. Some of
my fellow-passengers received twelve dollars per week;
on Sundays they went to the country, got in company,
spent their week's wages, contracted loose habits, and
went to ruin. I went to church; put two cents in the
plate; if the preacher was lively, I heard him-if he
was sleepy, I slept also; at any rate, I saved my
money, rested my.body, rose on Monday morning
refreshed for work: while they spent their money,
fatigued their body, and on Monday rose with the
headache, unable to work. Now, says I, you see it
was by keeping the Lord's day that I came to be a
seedsmau; and added, whatever religion might do for
us in the next world, it was the most profitable concern
a man could follow in this. He looked earnestly in my
face, and said he believed I was right. I made these
observations to him, as I suspected that he was a freethinker.
I think, also, that I owe some of my success to the
circumstance of my being a Scotchman. Among the
emigrants who arrive at New York from all parts of
the world, I observe there are none who so soon establish themselves in respectable business as the poor
Scotch mechanic-he who has only his clothes and
tool-chest, and five shillings in his pocket: those who
bring money, and commence business, generally lose it.
There are but few among the English, Irish, French,
Dutch, or Germans, who get along so well, as far as I
have noticed. The uniform and first means of the




GoANT THORBURN.             193
Scotchman's rise in the world, lies in the habit they
had contracted in their own country of going to church
on Sabbath, while the majority of other emigrants Oalk
out in companies, and more or less spend their money;
but, no matter from what principle, the Scotchman
goes to church-there he can't spend his money. Thus
he soon acquires the means to put himself in business.
IHis national pride prompts him to aspire; and while
he is seen plodding along. on the easy and humble
tenor of his way, his heart is planning and swelling in
schemes of honorable ambition, till sbon he raises himself amongst the first. This day there is not a merchant in New York who was in business when I first
saw it. Robert Lenox was the last.
If it is merely for the pleasure of living under a
republican form of government, I would not advise any
man who is comfortably settled in a situation or business, whereby he makes a living, to throw away certainty for hope; you will find political rascals as
plenty in a republic as in a monarchy, and perhaps
more, as they have more scope for intrigue. You also
will find common sense as much insulted by a set of
fellows talking about equal rights, while they give
right to nobody-about the public good, while they
are filling their pockets with the public moneyagainst family pride and kingcraft, and as' soon as
they make money enough out of the people to set up a
two or four wheel carriage, dress up an imported
flunlie footman, or Virginia negro, with a green coat,
red collar, black hat, and gold belt, daub something on
his carriage-doors by way of arms, being the likeness
of' nothing in heaven above or on the earth beneath;
9




194           LrF AND WRITINGS OF
thus imitating, as near as he can, nobility and royalty;
and this is his republican si7nplicity! Talking about
disiqterested regard for the public good, while it is
only to bring down every one to his level, that he may
rise on their ruin. And then there are the elections,
which never stop. Kept in continual motion by a set
of political puppets behind the curtains, descending
to means low, dirty, and'dishonorable, where no honorable man can follow;: so that there is some danger
of the government: being left to the management of
men who are the offscourings of all things. If our
elections came only once in six years, I should almost
think our gyoernment was perfect. But it is not the
difference between having a king and a president that
makes America more desirable to live in than perhaps
any other country under the sun; but we have a large
and a fruitful land-a vast deal more land than we
have people to eat the fruits thereof. In Europe, they
have more people than land to feed them on. The
climate does so much for man in America, he has but
little to do for himself; in Europe, the whole population are in continual anxiety about crops and weather;
our chief anxiety is, how to get clear of our produce:
we have no corn-laws, no poor-rates, and no church
establishments, that bone of contention which has
separated the brethren in Europe for the last thousand
years. A man of family will confer a larger and more
lasting benefit on his posterity by placing his children
in America, than were he to buy a throne for each of
them in Europe.
The following anecdote is indicative of the feelings
of most young men, after they have.resided a year or




GRANT THORBURN.             195
two in this country, and get weaned, or speaned as we
say in Scotland. About twenty years ago, two brothers, farmers' servants from Lanarkshire, arrived at
Philadelphia; they both got service with one of those
substantial farmers (lords of the soil) within four or
five miles of town, whose tables are daily loaded with
necessaries and luxuries, and where the farmer and his
white servants eat at the same table. The one was
named Sandy, and the other Jock.  One morning,
after they had been about eighteen months in their
place, as they were dressing, Jock says, "Ah! Sandy,
I had an awful dream last night." "And what did
you dream, man?" says Sandy. "Aye, but it was an
awful dream," says Jock. "And what did you dream?"
says Sandy; "did. you dream you had broken your
leg?' "Far waur than that," says Jock.,' And what
was it, man? did you dream your mither was deed?"
"Waur than that yet.". "And what was it ye dreamed,
man?". says Sandy; " did ye dream ye was in the bad
place?"  "It was waur than that yet," says Jock.
"And what was it, man?" says Sandy. "' Oh! I
dreamed I was at home again," says Jock.
It is very rare that I have seen a woman, whatever
may have been her sphere of life in Britain, provided
she was rising of forty years before she left her home,
that ever got reconciled to or was happy in America.
The husband, led abroad in society by his business,
soon makes new friends: the children soon make
new]associates, and form new attachments; but the
-Mher.finds every thing strange. The modes and
manners of housekeeping are strange to her; there is
even a sort of vocabulary, as it were, belonging to the




196          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
domestic affairs of every country, that a woman brought
up in another country never can learn; and though
her husband and children are all happy around her,
though she can buy apples of the best flavor here as
cheap as she can buy potatoes in her own country, and
though she has, every thing in abundance around her,
yet she longs for the conversation and company of
those who were the companions of her youth. Nothing to her like London, like Edinburgh, like Dublin,
or even like her hut on the barren side of some hill in
Scotland.
Some years ago, there came to New York from
London a smart bachelor, aged about twenty-eight.
He had a high opinion of himself, and the place, he
came from. Wishing to hire a room for an office on
the ground floor, he noticed. a card in a window,
"IApartments to let," was waited on and shown the
premises by the tradesman's daughter who owned the
house. She was a beautiful, modest, sensible girl;
he was pleased with the apartment, but more so with
the young lady; as he afterwards said, there was a
music in her voice which made him ask questions.
Having been told the price, says he, "Is the damsel
to be let with the apartment?" (at the same time
making a polite attempt to take hold of her hand).
She made a step backwards, and looking him full in
the face, replied, "Sir, the damsel is to be let alone."
He hired the room, took possession next day, but the
apt reply kept sounding in his ears, "Sir, the tiamsel is to be let alone." He never left his office
satisfied without having a word or a look from her;
he soon became her professed admirer, and before




GRAN'i 7lIIORBURN.          197
twelve months she became his wife. The countenance and respectability of her relations have given
him a standing in sodiety; he is attentive to business, and every thing seems thriving and happy about
them.




198            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
CHAPTER XIX.
A FEW REFLECTIONS FROM SIXTY YEARS) OBSERVATIONS IN AMERICA.PARTICULAR PROVID]NCE SHOWN IN THE NATIONAL AFFAIRS OF AMERICA.CONCLUDING INSTANCE OF SAME TO MYSELF.
MEN, Fiddlers, and Trollopes, who travel forty days
in America, fifteen of which are generally spent in the
death of sleep, ought not to be branded as impostors.
The public, if they think at all, are not to expect any
correct information concerning a people, their country,
and their manners, from either fiddlers or mountebanks,
who may; happen to spend a few strolling days in the
line of their profession in that country. If they do
expect so great a miracle, then they richly deserve to
be imposed on. But no; they are not imposed on:
they buy these as they do any other work of fiction, to
see who among all those hundred-and-one book-makers
can tell the most plausible lie. Therefore the writers
and printers are not impostors; for the people desire to
have it so.
I anm, satisfied the book bearing the- name of Mrs.
Trollope was never written by an English lady. A
lady implies' every thing that is mild, pleasant, beautiful, engaging, modest, and discreet. I remember, seventy years ago, in Scotland, to say that a woman was a
soldier's trollope, implied every thing' that was bad,
hateful, and disgusting. Besides, no modest and dis
creet woman will be found travelling alone through




GRANT TIHORBIJRN.           199
seas and floods, in ships and boats, with mates, cooks,
and captains, except she were completely unsexed.
Besides, the book professes to be an expos6 of the
"Domestic Manners of the Americans."  Now, sure
am I that no woman, having the feelings of a woman,
would ever expose, if.she could, the failings and
frailties of her sisters, and in such language, too, as
that book contains —riore like the licentious slang of
some minor theatre, or the polluted breath of some
London fishwife. If it has been written by a woman,
thank God we have no such women in America.
There is, perhaps, no country on earth where ladies
are so highly respected and thought of as they are in
America (I speak from sixty years' observation). Had
the writer of Trollope really been a lady of feeling, she
would have rejoiced to find that there was at least one
country under the sun where woman holds the exact
place in society which nature and the God of nature
has assigned her,-that of. being the companion and
helpmate of man, not his slave. From these reflections;
my own mind is satisfied that Trollope is no woman,
or, if she be, she must be one who wears the breeches.'The very fact of'her travelling with Miss F. Wright
ought to expel her from women's company.
It is really provoking to hear European writers comparing themselves with themselves, and exalting themselves by themselves, and impeaching the Americans for
want of refinement. Its like C****** teaching honor,
or the devil preaching truth-. Thereal standard of refinement all over the world can only be estimated by
the place which woman holds in society, and by the
usage she receives from those lords of the creation.




200           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
falsely so called. Mrs. Trollope has the ignorance to
compare the modest, beautiful, sprightly, and sensible
ladies in America, with the poor, debased daughters of
Eve in Europe. I know that God has made many of
their women as angels for beauty, but the men have
transformed them into devils. Among your singers
and players are some of the handsomest women in the
world; but the European savage-man, has debased
them beneath the brutes that perish. In Africa they
are the beasts of burden and laboring slaves of the
man; in Asia they are the sou.lless automatons of his
pleasures, and the laboring slaves of his profits; and
in proportion as they excel in beauty, in the samne proportion are they transferred from one heartless tyrant
to another, and with more-unconcern than they would
part with an ass or a colt from the stall. But in
Europe their degradation is yet keener and deeper, for
there they receive just education enough to show them
their high origin, and the.place in society which by
right is their own; thus making them see and feel
more acutely the abject state into which they are
plunged by the cruelty of man. Many of them, young,
lovely, and sensitive creatures, are shut up in monasteries (and this, too, by those who gave them birth), or
compelled to be buckled to some old worn-down, Tich,
titled debacuchee, whereby all the sweet sensibilities of
their nature are destroyed, and all the useful purposes
for which the God of nature made them are lost to the
world. In comparison with this, the burning of a
Hindoo widow, or a Jewess of old placing the son of
her youth in the red-hot arms of Moloch, is like tender
mercies. Even in our owm day, we have seen in France




GRANT THORBURN.               201
-that country of chivalry, refinement, and gallantrythe young, the learned, the high-born and accomplished
females, led out by ruffians whose hands yet smoked
with the blood of a sister-we have seen them tied in
groups, as is done by the wild savage in our western
wilderness-we have seen their beautiful heads roll in
the basket of the guillotine, till the arms of the executioner grew faint-we have seen men (falsely called) in
Europe stand by with indifference and see the beautiful
Mary of Scotland murdered by a fire-cat of a sister,
and, in our day, the fascinating Mai'ie Antoinette of
France, by the ruffianly Sans-culottes.  Were such
brutalities attempted in America on woman, every
rifle from Eastport to the Rocky Mountains would be
raised in her defence: and yet these men have the
very great,modesty to talk to the Americans about refJnement.
In Europe, too, where dwell the most Catholic
Majesties, the most Christian Majesties, the Kings by
the grace of God, the Defenders of the Faithl, the
Heads of the Church, and the Lords Spiritual, even
there these men of refinement will take the rmost comely of their women, strip them of their chief ornament,
modesty, then tear off rag after rag, till scarcely a figleaf is left; then they place themn.on a large table,
which they call a theatre, and sometimes on a rope,
and there they make them dance to the sound of an
Irish fiddle, or a pair of Scotch bagpipes; and this is
what they call, in Paris, in Londou, in Dublin, and in
Edinburgh, worsh8ipiyxng the'fair sex.*  Now a body
* I would here inform Messrs. Fiddler, Trollope, and Co., and all
other forty-day travellers, who may wish to make a book, that from
9*




202             LIFE AN1) WRITIN(GS OF
would really suppose that this is all right, for it is all
done just under the noses of those holy men aforesaid.
They also have dancing bears, and live Elephants, and
monkeys, which they make to dance about just as they
make their ladies do; and it's all done for money:
indeed, they will do any thing in Europe for money.
Some sell their bodies to the doctors while they live,
and some sell their souls to the devil when they die;
and all for money.
Another source of misery to the ladies in Europe,
and which sours all the sweet charities of their lives, is
their family distinctions, their bloods, and their titles.
Thousands of them are there sacrificed, like Jephtha's
daughter; heince the -forced marriages, the unhappy
marriages, the runaway marriages, the elopements,
and, finally, their crim. con. trials,-names, the meaning of which is unknown to the ladies in America.
In America, when a young woman comes to her
eighteenth year she is of age, and can marry the man
of her choice, despite of cold-blooded parents, or selfinterested guardians.  There are no laws to obstruct
the freedom of marriages in America (as far as ever I
could learn). no licenses, no proclamations at the desk,
or advertisements on the church-door. Any man and
*oman, of any age or condition, can go to the mayor,
magistrate, minister, or justice of the peace, taking
with them  two witnesses to prove that they are both
what I have seen, I am confident there is not a lady in America, having
a drop of American blood in her veins, but rather than expose her person, as is done by the women in Europe, to the brutal gaze of those
noble blackguards, she would take a prayer-book in one hand, and a
wooden cross in the other, and walk into the flames of martyrdom.




GRANT THORBURN.             203
single people, and they get married without further
ceremony. Now, Mrs. Trollope would call this an
instance of the loose state of morals in America; but
experience shows it has quite a different effect. In
Europe, some popish priest or bishop gives them a
license to become man and wife in a political sense,
and some Beelzebub or Lucifer gives them a license to
keep as many masters and mfstresees as they please.
The marriage is merely to enable the first son of the
next generation to hold the estate; but with regard to
love or natural affection, they know just as little as the
Esquimaux in his cabin of ice: and yet these tramplers
on every thing that is pure, holy, and becoming in life,
have the impudence to preach modesty and refinement
to the Americans.
The laws are severe against bigamy, and are seldom
infringed except by foreigners, who have left wives
in Europe. In fact, the Americans know little, not
even by name, of the many vices that are rife in old
countries.
In Europe, the ladies among the. higher castes are
waited on by white slaves-in America, by black:
among the inferiors in Europe, the women are the
slaves of the men-in America, the men are the
WILLING slaves of the women: in short, domestic
economy in America is comprehended in two wordsthe man provides, and his wife takes care of what he
provides.
With regard to governments, it matters little to me
whether the head is called a king or a president, provided they are a terror to evil-doers, and a praise to
them that db well. Even in hell they have a kng, to




204           LIFE AND wRITINGS OF.
keep order in that pit; and among the powers of the
air, they can't get along without having a prince. All
nature obeys the law of its Maker, men and devils
only excepted; and they require a strong arm to keep
them in order.
In America, I would prefer living under a republican government, but not in Britain. I think -now
that they have got their parliament so far reformed,
they have as much liberty as they can fairly stagger
under. If they get along, quietly and easily, to cancel
their sinecures as the present incumbents die, and also,
by degrees, in lessening their church burdens, and
keep themselves from going to war, they will do very
well. The experiment of having religion supported in
a country without the interference of government, has
been tried in America for the last fifty years, and with
the most complete success. I verily believe there is
more pure and undefiled religion amongst the Episcopal churches in the State of New York alone, than is
to be found in the same, church all over England.
Such' a thing as a horse-racing, cock-fighting, foxhunting, tavern-keeping parson, is not known in America. Were they so to appear, the people would just
withdraw their support, and the priests drop into obli;ion. There is no priestcraft in America: where civil
government is kept out of the church, priestcraft cannot
exist. Before the revolution in America, the Episcopals
lorded it over God's heritage-now every tub stands on
its own bottom.
Those siniple dreamers, who, for the last fifty years,
have been turning the world upside down, and writing
so many fine-spun theories on government, always




GRANT THORBURN.              205
assume the fatlse position at the outset, that man is a
perfect being. Mr. Thomas Paine wrote and spoke so
much and so long about the perfectibility of human
nature, that he became a perfect beast himself. Were
it not for insulting the dignity of the British natidon,
in the persons of some of its members in Parliament, I
could give the history of two or three of them-men
whose heads are so long, that they themselves really
think they can govern the universe, and yet they never
learned to govern their own tongues, to govern their
own wives, to govern their own hearts, sons, servants,
or affairs. The fact is, they are so filled with a disinterested ambition to r'ule, that, were it possible, they
would take the reins from the hands of the Governor of
the world.
These men, like all other madmen, are continually
striving to destroy the very means in which is involved'their life and safety. Were' it not for the arm of a
strong government, when O'Connell, Hunt, and Co.
collect such a mass of folly and wickedness around
them in the fields, as sometimes is done, one word
from a bravo in the crowd, and the leaders (like the
keeper of.some wild beasts let loose) are torn in
pieces. We saw it done repeatedly in France; and
human nature is the same, under the same circumstances, everywhere.
In America,' we have too much liberty. The imported. patriot, as ignorant as a goose, and as poor as
Job's hen-turkey, has as good a vote for the men who
tax, assess, and take from me my property, as I have
myself. This is giving him who has nothing, LIBERTY
to be sure, but it is to take from me what is not his.




206          LIE AND WRITINGS OF
Often these men have not been three weeks in the
country, but as they always vote for our side, we have
some easy modes of creeping through our naturalization
laws. From this, and many more defects I could name,
we need never expect to see a government without
faults.
Democracy and Republicanism sound fine in theory; and were men what God made them, it would
work well in practice; and herein lies the mighty
odds —God made man upright, but he sought out many
invention8s-God made him wise, and he made himself
a fool. In Europe many are civilized-some about
half —and a number are still in a state of nature. Take
a few from every country, town and village, and perhaps you cannot select three from each hundred that
are men of sound sense-seventy-five are fools, and
twenty-two are rogues; therefore, the more men that
are engaged in a matter, the greater is the quantity of
human folly and wickedness collected. Besides, I
never knew a genuine bawling republican in my life
(and I have seen many) but he was a most consummate
tyrant, as far as his little brief authority went. Some
years ago I knew one of these thorough-going imported
republicans in New York; the "Rights of Man" was
continually in his mouth, and the horse-whip in his
hand. He was a cabinet-maker by trade; and one
day the police'justice cancelled the indentures of seven
of his apprentices, on account of barbarous and cruel
usage.
I don't think that a nation in Europe could exist
twenty years under a republican form of government;
they are not so well informed as the people in America




GRANT THORBIURN.                    207
generally are; besides, from their youth the Americans
are accustomed to something like this form of selfgovernment, by selecting persons to fill many of their
offices, as road-masters, poor-masters, militia-officers,
&c., &c. It is not so much the form of our government
that makes the people so happy in America, as the fact
that we are not saddled with any of the customs of the
dark ages, which yet hang about the necks of the good
folks of Britain. In America, every man that professes
religion attends to the religion of his own house; and
if twenty heads of houses conclude to build a church,
and engage a minister to lead their devotions on
Sabbath, the government has no concern in the rmatter.
In Europe, they hire men at a high price to become a
head for their church, but in America Chi8t is the only
head of the church that they will acknowledge, and
they own no Lord but the Lord Jehovah.* We have no
poors' rate, and no noble blood. This noble blood
* Many years ago (if fame speaks true) none were admitted into the
House of Parliament but members, ladies, and the servants of noblemen. Rev. Dr. M'Intosh, of Edinburgh, being in London while the
House was sitting, and probably not knowing the regulation, and
having a desire to see how matters were conducted, presented himself
at the door. From something about his dress, or probably from the
very circumstance of his wanting admittance, they supposed he must
be a nobleman's servant. There were two keepers-the first accosts
him-" What lord do you belong to?" Instantly replies the doctor,
"To the Lord Jehovah." "The Lord Jehovah!" echoes the keeper,
looking inquiringly in the face of his fellow; " the Lord Jehovah! why,
I never heard of that lord: I am sure," raising his voice, " he is not in
all the Court Calendar. Where lays the estate?" " In the northern
hemisphere," replies the doctor, gravely. As they knew as little about
the hemisphere as they did about the Lord: " O," says keeper No. 2,
"let him pass; it must be some poor Scotch lord, I suppose."




208          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
spoils a great many happy marriages in Europe; but
in America nature displays her most perfect works.
We have no standing army, because we don't need
one; in Europe, the people must be kept in order by
the point of the bayonet; but in America the people
have common sense enough to keep themselves in
order. Our government is the cheapest; and were it
not that our elections are so frequent, I should think it
was the best in the world. It's really amusing to hear,
when you go to London or Edinburgh, how ignorant
the people are with regard to every thing appertaining
to America; and yet every week they have a new book
of travls from some strolling Fiddler, Hall, Hamilton,
or Trollope. These Fiddlers, however, are not fools;
they know that a wise man cannot live in a country
unless the majority of the people are fools. It is for
this reason that a Scotch/man cannot get along in Connecticut among the cunn~ing Yankees, because they
understand how to hold as well as he does how to
pull.
I was in Scotland- some thirty years ago; had with
me my son, a lad about ten; stopped to see a lady at
the seat of Lord A  -, near Edinburgh; was introduced as Mr. Thorburn, from America-and this is his
son, a young Yankee (the lad was both white and
ruddy). The good lady stoops; lays her arm round
his neck, her hand on his left shoulder, and looking
him full in the face, exclaims, 1" The Losh preserve us,
but he's as white as our ain folk i"  Observe, this -was
at a lord's house, in 1818-not among the nobites. It
is funny to hear their wise men speak, and their wise
women write, about the Americans, as if they were




GRANT THORBURN.             209
nothing but a set of simple men, the sons of silly
women. They speak about our generals and colonels
being cow-keepers, and horse-keepers, and bar-keepers,
&c.; they speak about our captains and our militia as
being shoemakers and tailors, having guns without
locks; they speak about our commodores as being
packers of codfish, and our ambassadors as being printers or doctors, and pettifogging lawyers.  All this
may be true; but, then, when they come in contact
with them, they find themselves most commonly outgeneralled. Washington and Hamilton generalled them
out of a whole continent-General Jackson packed up
their generals in rum hogsheads-the shoemakers and
tailors, having guns without locks, locked up Burgoyne,
Cornwallis, &c.-the packers of codfish caught a whole
fleet on the lakes at one haul —and Franklin, the printer, Adams, Jay, Lawrence, and other pettifogging
lawyers, outwitted and supplanted their diplomatists,
in 1776, at almost every court in Christendom.
With regard to the navy in America, there is no
doubt but man to man, and gun to gun, they will be
able to defend themselves against any nation under the
sun. The late war gave a lesson to these men, whose
principle of right consisted in making the weak submit
to the strong, which they will not soon forget; but as
now they know where each other's strength lies, they
will find it their interest to cultivate one another's
friendship. Their fleets combined will be able to protect the world from oppressors.
In reading the history of America for the last fifty
years, it often occurs to my mind, that Providence has
takeD the affairs of the country into his own immediate




210           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
direction. I think we can't look back on the late war
without being convinced that the Governor of the world
turned the mistakes and blunders of our own governors
into public blessings, and in a way and manner, too,
contrary to our own plans and- most sanguine calculations. For instance, when the war of 1812 broke
out, our governors thought they had only to send a
few men into Canada, carrying a pole with a striped
handkerchief at its top, and that all the whole country
would join them. But after losing millions of money
and thousands of men, they found themselves completely discomfited, foiled, and laughed at. And it
was right it should be so. It was both unjust and
impolitic;-unjust because the Canadians were our
brethren, and never had done us any harm. If their
masters, three thousand miles away, had robbed our
ships, it was not their fault-they could not help it;
it was impolitic, because, had our government issued a
proclamation, telling them we were brethren of the
same soil, we had no quarrel with them, and if they
would let us alone we would let them alone-had this
been done, I verily believe that ere this time Canada
would have now formed another State in the Union.
But look at the ocean, that highway of' nations;
there we had been robbed and plundered because we
wanted the means of defence. These leviathans of the
deep, with their mouths of one hundred fires, told us
to stand by or they would sink us in the mighty
waters. On these waters, though our cause was just,
we thought we could do nothing. But there we looked
on, while the Lord wrought gloriously for Americawhere we looked for disgrace, he gave us honor-.and




GRANT THORBURN.              211
for defeat he gave us victory; till at length the skill of
the officers, and the strength of the six American firbuilt frigates, was proclaimed from the Park and Tower
guns of London. -
Look also at New Orleans; their ships darkened our
rivers; their men were numerous as the locusts'in
Egypt; their officers and soldiers were all mighty men
of war, having just conquered the conqueror of the
world, and laid his invincibles low, even in the dust.
But here these noble fellows, whose swords had just
let loose the heart's. blood of Bonaparte's lancers, were
cut down like grass in the field, and scattered abroad
like chaff before the wind, by the unerring aim of the
American rifle. They were the invaders, the Americans were the defenders; but in Canada the Americans
were the invaders, and were discomfited.
All these things are arguments with me in favor of
the doctrine of a Particular Providence, in regard to
nations. As respects -myself, in addition to what has
been already stated, I beg to give another instance. I
could have put on record some scores of such instances,
any one of which might suffice to convince a reasonable
person of the consoling doctrine of the ministry of
angels, or a class of beings, though invisible to us, by
-far superior in power and intelligence,, and who stand
ready, at the nod of their Master, to execute his will in
a moment, even to the utmost boundaries of space: but
here our feeble mind is lost. On what other principles
are we to account for the curious incidents which frequently happen to every observing man, viz., of.thinking' or speaking about a person whom, perhaps, we
have not seen for years, -and he will immediately




212           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
appear; a=d sometimes going through scenes in your
sleep in which you will be a prominent actor next day?
These things must be whispered on our senses, or impressed into our souls, by some being to us invisible.
Heaven, earth, and sea are full of wonders and mysteries, of which those wine men (self-styled philosophers)
never dreamed.
In April, then, we received a letter from Mr. C.,
ordering about $250 worth of seeds and trees, and
stating that B. & Co. would pay our bill. Before complying with the order we showed the letter to B. & Co.;
they stated, had the amount not exceeded $100 they
would have paid it, but being already considerable in
advance, they were not inclined to go further;- but
added, they considered him a good man, and thought
we should be safe in trusting him to that amount. My
son being anxious to fill the order, I consented; the
goods and invoice were forwarded, but receiving no
answer, after six weeks we wrote to him  again, requesting him to send us a draft on P. W. & Co.; still
no answer came. One day, during the cholera, about
the beginning of September, I_ picked py a piece of
paper from  the floor, which, from some words on it,
brought the matter to my mind. I told my son I was
getting anxious about the matter of C., and was resolved to stir in the business; my son thought we had
better let it rest till after the cholera, as it was probable
Mr. C. might be out of town, &c. However, the thing
kept harassing my mind, so I determined to see the
Messrs. B., and consult with them before the day closed.
I called at their office about fifteen minutes past four
P. M., presuming they would have returned from din



GRANT THORBURN.             213
ner: I waited some time, and they not returning, I
went home, drank my tea, and resolved to call again,
if spared, next morning —but something in my mind
kept prompting me on; so, having finished tea, I
returned to the office and found Mr. B. alone. I
showed him Mr. C.'s letter, and asked his advice. He
advised me to draw on C. at ten days' sight, in favor
of R. C., to give the draft to him (Mr. B.), and he
would give it to C. to forward. I came home, told my
son, bid him go to tea, and draw the drafts as soon as
he came back. He smiled, and said he could not see
what made me so pushing in this business all at once.
Says I, "I can't either; but something hurries me on,
that I can't rest satisfied till I push it as fast as I can."
The draft was drawn that night. Next morning I gave
it to B., with an earnest request that he would give it
to Mr. C. to f6rward by that day's mail. About a
month after, Mr. B. came into our store, and told us a
long story about the failure of Mr. P., and how much
they had lost by him, but added, your draft is _paid,
and paid, too the very day before he failed. Next
day Mr. C. stepped in and told us the same story,
adding, "You are a lucky fellow, Thorburn, for had
not the draft gone on that very day, I don't think
you would have got one cent."  Now, in reviewing
this matter, I can't help being assured, in my own
mind, that there. was some invisible influence that
urged me on in a manner, for which I could not
account, to bestir myself in this business on that very
day; and I also think I can see the hand of Providence
in inclining the hearts of both IMessrs. B. and C. to
transact their parts of the business on that same day,




214          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
with more promptness, perhaps, than if their own
interests had been at stake.
I might fill a much larger book than this with remarkable instances, but I will conclude with only one
more. After having made and lost two fortunes in the
course of my life, I find myself, in old age, without
much of this world's goods, but with a thankful and a
cheerful heart. God has provided for me in the following manner.
I sailed from Leith, in Scotland, 13th of April, 1794,
in the good ship "Providence," a name propitious,
bounid for New York. Among the passengers was a
lady, having with her, in charge, four or five young
children. The father had gone before, to prepare for
them a habitation, no small undertaking when three
months was a tolerable passage. Among the children
was a boy, seemingly of four years' growth. lIe was
lively and playful, always on deck. His mother was
in continual fear on his account. I told her, as I had
nothing to do, I would take care of the boy. This to
her was a great relief; so, comparatively speaking, I
carried this boy in my arms over the waves of the Atlantic.
Now this boy is Collector of the Port of New York.
In the arrangements of Providence, he is the man, and
I am the child; he, in turn, carries me in his arms.
Or in plain Scotch, he gives me an office in the department, whereby I earn enough to keep soul and body
together. The sovereign people need not infer from
this that I spend Uncle Sam's money for naught. The
office must be filled by some one, and, though seventynine, I can perform the duties of my department as well




GRAN'T THORBURN.            215
as when in my twenty-ninth year. I never eat the bread
of idleness, nor will I while I can grasp a hammer, or
blow the bellows.
I have made these remarks without the knowledge
of any of the parties referred to. It is to cancel a
debt of gratitude due the Giver of all good, and to men;
his instruments; and to remind my neighbors that a
deed done with a good intent seldom goes unrewarded,
even in this life. "Cast thy bread upon the waters,
thou shalt find it after many days." In my case the
promise is fulfilled to the letter. In 1794 I cast my
bread on the waters of the Atlantic Ocean; in 1851 I
found it floating on the shores of the Hudson River.




APPENDIX.
A FLOWER EXTRACTED.
[From the New York Commeril  Adverti'er, May 19th, 1829.]
THE following characteristic communication is too
good to bet delayed for a single day, and we make room
for it without hesitation:
To THE EDITORS OF THE COMMERCIAL ADVERTISER.
I really believe that you gentlemen printers save
more money to the good people of this'city, by the
cautions you give, and the exposures you make of the
practice and tricks of thieves,:than all the paltry sum
of ten dollars which you usually ask, to pay for paper,
ink, and carrying. Since last fall, when, you gave an
account of the fellow who stole the gold fish, we have
not been sensible of a single depredation: but one
morning last week, about six A. m., a figure strolled
into our yard, his feet being half covered with a pair
of sea-green morocco slippers; his stockings, which
had once been white, rolled down to his ankles, and
displayed part, of a leg, which, from appearance, had
not been anointed with soap since the 4th of July last;
his cassimere pantaloons of the same color as the




APPENDIX.               217
Scotch snuff that is made in Chatham. street, and
ornamented at the top by a bunch of seals as large as a
mock orange, and as yellow as if they had really been
made from gold found in North Carolina; around his
neck, too, he wore an iron chain, appended to something at the end which was meant as an apology for a
watch, but from the spider-like appearance of his spine,
I thought it might be intended as a preventer (as the
sailors say), to keep the extremities from separating
from the trunk; or, like the men of Jersey, who with
an ox-chain fasten the small, to keep them from running away with the large wheels of their wagon. His
face was pretty enough, and on the whole he might
pass for a very handsome fellow; but in the vacant
stare of his eye, you might easily perceive that Madam
Nature, getting tired with laboring all day to form a
handsome person, at last being vexed with the job, had
rolled him  from her work-bench, forgetting to put
brains in his head. Thinking he wanted the capacity
to contemplate the beauties of nature aright, and therefore must have some other object in view by so early a
visit, I told Argus to look out. In a few minutes he
reported a hyacinth flower broken off, and deposited in
the steeple crown of his hat. On examining the spot
I found a red Groot voorst (probably so named after
one of the ponderous beauties of Amsterdam) had just
been cropped off by the ground. - I arose in anger,
and was just going to upbraid him, when three decent
young lads, and their pretty young lasses, entered the
gate. Thinks I to myself, I won't discompose them,
and, bad as he was, expose him to the ridicule of the
ladies; so I asked him to step into the store. Says I,
10




21S                APPENDIX.
"Sir, you hiave not paid for the flowers in your hat."
Says he, "I intend to pay."  " Then," says I, "we're
agreed at once, for I intend you shall pay. The price,
cut to order, is twenty-five cents; but as you helped
yourself without leave, I will only charge Wall street
commissions; so you may give me fifty cents, and be
off. Having got the m6ney in my hand, I began to
deliver an extempore lecture on the baseness of such
conduct, comparing it with the ox in the meadow, who,
having not sense to discern these beautiful works of the
Creator, tramples them in the mire with his cloven feet;
but, being conscience-struck, he shuffled himself out of
the gate, up into Broadway, as fast as his long legs and
green sluffs could carry him.
P. S.-Stepping into the green-house the other day,
I observed a decent-looking woman holding up, admiring, and smiling at a pretty rose-bud she had just
plucked from a bush. As she did not attempt concealment, I was sure it was not done in evil design, or with
malice prepense (as they say at the Hall of Justice).
Says I, "3 Madam, I daresay you thought no harm when
you broke off that rose?" Says she, " I thought where
there were so xnany to pluck ofit one would not be
missed." "But," says I, "ma'am, had you thought
for a moment that if every lady who visits this place was
to carry away a rose, or break off a branch, in a short
time we should have nothing left to look at but bare
poles and brickbats." She looked so, and said she was
sorry, and I really believe she was sorry; so I cut a
slip or two of geranium, and a sprig of myrtle, to tie
to the rose, and so made a bouquet complete. She
went home more repenting than if I had scolded as




APPENDIX.                219
loud as Mrs. Socrates of old, when she emptied the salt-.
water bath on the bald head of her husband.
LIVERWORT.
[From the New York Commercial Advertiser, 17th Augzust, 1829.]
We cannot deny the use of our columns to our
friend Grant Thorburn for the following characteristic
letter in defence of his favorite plant. If our " Subscriber" who ridiculed it on Saturday has any music in
his soul, he will laugh; and if he has any magnanimity,
he will "give it up." His closing allusion is very
good; but we suspect Mr. Thorburn went to church so
many times yesterday, that he had not time to refer to
the text of his authority. It was not the King of
Assyria who preferred "the rivers of Damascus" to
" all the waters of Israel," but Naaman, an officer of
the King of Syria.
" ivernwort agiin. —I met a grave-digger the. other
day, and asked him how was trade. He said it had
not been so dull before in the month of August since
the year 1816-and were it not that a few young ladies
get every week squeezed to death by their corsets, he
did not believe he would make salt to his kagil.* That
year there were so many black spots on the sun that
the cucumbers were frozen to death in July, and seed
became so scarce that the Yankees were obliged to
invent a machine whereby they made seed from the
wood of the whitewood-tree, and peddled it round the
continent for the moderate price of one dollar per
* Scotch soup.




220                APPENDIX.
ounce. ~Now, I am thinking, Mr. Stone, that this same
subscriber of yours must be an undertaker, or gravedigger, whose business of late has been so much curtailed by the introduction of liverwort and mustard,
seed (the character of the latter is so firmly fixed he
dare not say a word against it), that having nothing
better to kill his dull time, he sits down to vent his
spite on the poor liverwort. I think, too, Mr. Printer,
he gives you a pretty good knock on the head in the
outset of the letter, when he says, he is provoked to
see you puffing up an herb which has no medical
qualities. In all the vegetable kingdom, a plant or
herb has not yet been discovered that God made
without possessing medical properties. Your subscriber
next comes down on the poor sober-sided Shaking
Quakers-a set of the best mechanics and honestest
fellows I ever met with-and were it not that they
hold the doctrine of that consummate blockhead, Malthus, I would call them among the best members of
society too. He therefore almost commands you not to
come out with your white paper and black printer'sdevil adveitisements, thus aiding and abetting these
monstrous Shakers to deceive the public. I really
wonder what makes the man so angry. He asks you,
too, if you have any interest in the apothecaries   stores?
I think I sell more of that weed (without medical
properties) than any apothecary in town, and therefore
think he strikes me over your tall head. But if he is
bally in search of truth, and will call at the meetinghouse in Liberty street, I will give him the names of
some gentlemen, probably of his own acquaintance, in
whose renovated countenances he may read the medi



APPENDIX.                221
cal properties of this herb. Every improvement in
science or mechanics has been met by the opposition
of the ignorant or interested. When the bright eye of
CLINToN first sketched the lines of a canal through a
thousand hills and dales, a host of fellows, who could
not see an inch before their nose, wrote volumes to
prove that he was born blind. If this same liverwort
grew only on the banks of the Ganges, it would be a
sovereign remedy; but as it is to be found in abundance on the banks of the Hackensack River, in New
Jersey, we are to be told it is the only herb that ever
God Almighty made which has no medical properties.
This thing will sound strange in the hall of Princeton
College. It reminds me of the great King of Assyria,
who would not believe the prophet when he told him
to wash away his leprosy in that clear running brook
close by-but he must needs go to one of the great
rivers in Damascus wherein to bathe his royal brown
hide. To be serious, this herb is doing much good
in pulmonary complaints-it is a pity to knock it in
the head at once anonymously.
"Yours, &c.,
GRANT THORBURN.'
[Irom the Now York Commercial Advertiser, 15ta AluUst, 1829.]
Ifrsss. EDITOR —It is provoking to read in yourpaper, occasionally, an editorial puff of some herb
which has no medicalc roperties.  Eighteen months
ago there was a cure (related by the newspapers) produced by liverwort. The article became immediately




222                APPENDIX.
very common, and everybody who had a liver complaint or affection of the lungs drank freely and continually of the decoction, till every one was satisfied
that the liverwort was an inert article. Now you are
trying to get it up into use again. The leaf has three
Lobes, which gave name to the plant, as the liver has
three lobes likewise: this is the origin; but many
suppose it derived its name from its virtues in diseases of the liver. I was knowing to the following
fact:-A child had the quinsy very bad-so bad that
there was danger of suffocation. The doctor prescribed
an emetic and a blister-plaster; but an old woman came
in, and said that the swallow was affected, and the.best
thing was a poultice made of a swallow's nest. This
took with the father and mother, and the doctor's
medicine was laid aside. The nest procured consisted
of excrement and clay, and was applied for two days,
when the child died. So with the liverwort. Have
you an interest in the apothecaries' stores which induces you to recommend it so highly? I presume not;
therefore do not deceive the public with the advertisement of the Shakers, which was got up to produce a
sale of the article.
One of our religious papers recommended and wrote
columns, and printed hundreds of certificates of drunkards who were cured by Chambers' remedy. A year
afterwards the same editor stated he had been deceived,
for every one of whom he had published a cure were
still drunkards. So it is with all these quackeries. I
fear the day will never come when the community will
not be stuffed with nostrums got up merely to make
money.                           A SursCRmrBE.




APPENDIX.                223
ROMANCE IN REAL LIFE.
[From tMm New York Commercial AdvertiAer of September 12th, 1833.]
IHaving spent an hour in company with this young
lady, on the day of her arrival in New York, and being
privy to sonie of the facts, I think they are worth preserving.
"From Susquehannah's utmost springs,
Where savage tribes pursue their game,
His blanket tied with yellow strings,
A shepherd of the forest car e.,,_' RENEAU
On Sunday  evening lds~ we were fortuitously witnesses of an inciders, equally interesting and painful.
Many peaple Uave denounced Shakspeare's Othello as
too unnu:ural for probability. It can hardly be credite' that such a fair, beautiful, and accomplished
woman as Desdemona is represented to have been,
could have deliberately wedded such a blackamoor as
Othello; but if we ever entertained any incredulity
upon the subject, it has all been dissipated by the occurrence of which we are to speak.
About two years ago, an Indian of the Chippewa
nation-formerly said to have been a man of some rank
in his tribe, but now a missionary of the Methodist
church among his red brethren-was sent to England
to obtain pecuniary aid for the Indian mission cause in
Upper Canada. What was his native cognomenwhether it was the " Red Lightning," or the " Storm
King," or "Walk-in-the-Water,"-we know not; but
in plain English he is known as Peter Jones. An




224                 APPENDIX.
Indian is a rare spectacle in England. Poets and
romancers have alike invested the primitive sons of
the American forest with noble and exalted characteristics, which are seldom discernible to the duller perceptions of plain matter-of-fact people; and which
E4glish eyes could alone discover in the hero of the
present story. But no matter: Mr. Peter Jones was
not only a missionary from the wilderness, and, as we
doubt not, a pious and useful man among his own
people, but he was a bona fide Indian, and he was of
course made a lion of in London. He was feasted by
the. rich and the great.  Carriages and servants in
livery awaited-his pleasure, and bright eyes sparkled
when he was named. He was looked upon as a great
chief-a prince-an Indian king; and many romantic
young ladies,. who had never passed beyond the sound
of Bow-bells, dreamed of the charms of solitude amid
the great wilds-" the antres vast and deserts wild" of
the great West; of the roaring of mighty cataracts, and
the bounding of buffaloes over the illimitable prairies;
of noble chieftains, leading armies of plumed and lofty
warriors, dusky as the proud forms of giants in twilight; of forays and stag-hunts, and bows and arrows,
and the wild notes of the piercing war-whoop, in those
halcyon days when, unsophisticated by contact with
the pale face,
"Wild in woods the noble savage ran;"
and all that sort of thing, as Mathews would most unpoetically have wound off such a flourishing sentence.
But it was so:
"In crowds the ladies to his levees ranAll wished to gaze upon the tawny man;




APPENDIX.                 225
Happy were those who saw his stately strideThrice happy those who tripped it at his side."
Among others who perchance may have thought of
"kings barbaric, pearls and gold," was the charming
daughter of a gentleman of Lambeth, of wealth and
respectability. But she thought not of wedding an
Indian, even though he were a great chief, or half a
king-not she! But Peter Jones saw, or thought he
saw-for the Indian Cupids are not blind-that the
young lady had a susceptible heart. Availing himself,
therefore, of a ride with the fair creature, he said
something to her which she chose-not to understand —
but told it to her mother. Peter Jones sought other
opportunities of saying similar things, which the damsel could not comprehend-before him —but she continued to repeat them  to her mother. He sought an
interview with -her; it was refused. - He repeated the
request; it was still refused, but in a less positive
manner. Finally, an interview was granted him with
the mother, and the result was, that before Peter Jones
embarked on his return to his native woods, it was
agreed that they might breathe their thoughts to each
other on paper across the great waters: thus was anoier point gained. And, in the end, to make a long
story short, a meeting was agreed upon, to take place
the present season in this city, with a view of marriage. The idea is vvry unpleasant, with us, of such
ill-sorted mixtures of colors; but prejudices against
red and dusky skins are not so strong in Europe as
they are-here. They do not believe, in England,' that
"These brown tribes who snuff the desert air,
Are cousins-german to the wolf and bear."
10*




226                APPENDIX.
The proud Britons, moreover, were red men when conquered by Julius Caesar. What harm in their becoming so again? But must we hasten our story.
On Tuesday morning of last week, a beautiful young
lady, with fairy form-" grace in her step, and heaven
in her eye"-stepped on shore from the elegant packetship United States. She was attended by two clerical
friends of high respectability, who, by-the-way, were
no friends of her romantic enterprise. She waited
with impatience for her princely lover to the end of
the week, but he came not. Still she doubted not his
faith, and, as the result proved, she had no need to
doubt; for on Sunday morning Peter Jones arrived,
and presented himself at the side of his mistress! The
meeting was affectionate, though becoming. The day
was spent by them together, in the interchange of conversation, thoughts, and emotions, which we will leave
to those better skilled in the romance of love than ourselves to imagine.
Though a Chippewa, Peter Jones is nevertheless a
man of business, and has a just notion of the value and
importance of time. HIe may also have heard of the
adage' "there's many a slip," &c.; or, perchance, of
the other, "a bird in the hand," &c. But no matter.
He took part, with much propriety, in the religiAs
exercises of the John street church, where he happened to be present, which services were ended at nine
o'clock by an impressive recitatibn of the Lord's Prayer
in the Chippewa dialect. Stepping into the house of-a
friend near by, we remarked an unusual ingathering of
clergymen, and divers ladies and gentlemen. We asked
a reverend friend if there was to be another religious




APPENDIX.               227
meeting? "No," he replied; " but a wedding!" "A
weding!" we exclaimed with surprise. "Pray, who
are the happy couple?" "Peter Jones, the Indian
missionary," he replied, "and a sweet girl from England!"
It was then evident to our previously unsuspecting
eyes, that an unwonted degree of anxious and curious
interest pervaded the countenances of the assembling
group. In a short time, chairs were placed in a suspicious position at the head of the drawing-room, their
backs to the pier-table. A movement was next perceptible at the door, which instantly drew all eyes to
the spot, and who should enter but the samee tall
Indian, whom we had so recently' seen in the pulpit,
bearing upon his arm the light, fragile, and delicate
form of the young lady before mentioned-her eye
dropping modestly upon the carpet, and her face fair
as the lily. Thereupon up rose a distinguished clergyman, and the parties were addressed upon the subject
of the divine institution of marriage; its propriety,
convenience, and necessity, to the welfare of society
and human happiness. This brief and pertinent address being ended, the reverend gentleman stated the
purpose for which the couple had presented themselves,
and demanded if any person or persons present could
show cause why the proposed union should not take
place. If so, they were requested to make.their objections then, or forever after-hold their peace. A solemn
pause ensued. Nothing could be heard but a few
smothered sighs. There they stood, objects of deep
and universal interest-we may add, of commiseration.
Our emotions were tumultuous, and painful. A stronger




228                APPENDIX.
contrast was never sedn. She, all in white, and adorned
with the sweetest simplicity; her face as white arthe
gloves and dress she wore, rendering her ebon tresses,
placed'a la Madonna on her fair forehead, still darker;
he, in rather common attire, a tall, dark, high-boned,
muscular Indian: she, a little, delicate European lady;
he, a hardy, iron-framed son of the forest: she, accustomed to every luxury and indulgence, well educated,
accomplished, and well-beloved at home, possessing a
handsome income, leaving her comforts, the charms of
civilized and cultivated society, and sacrificing them all
for the cause she had espoused-here she stood, about
to make a self-immolation; and, far away from country
and -kindred, arid all the endearments of a fond father's
house, resign herself into the arms of a man of the
woods, who could not appreciate the sacrifice.! A
sweeter bride we never saw. We almost grew wild I
We thought of Othello-of sHyperion and the satyr, or
the-bright-eyed Hindoo and the funeral pile! She
looked like a drooping flower by the side of a rdgged
hemlock! We longed to interpose and rescue her;
but it was none of our business. She was in that situation by' choice, and she was among her friends. The
ceremonies went on: she promised to "love, honor,,
and obey" the Chippewa; and, all tremulous as she
stood, we heard the Indian and herself pronounced
man and wife! It was the first time we ever heard the
words " man and wife" sound hatefully. All, however,
knelt down, and united with the clergyman in prayers
for a blessing on her, that she might be sustained in
her undertaking, and have health and strength to
endure her destined hardships and privations. The




APPENDIX.                229
room resounded with the deep-toned, heartfelt, and
tearful response-Amen! The audience then rose, and
after attempting, with moistened eyes, to extend their
congratulations to the "happy pair," slowly and pensively retired. The sweet creature is now on her way
to the wilds of Upper Canada-the Indian's bride!
Such is the history of a case of manifest and palpable delusion. Peter Jones cannot say, with Othello,
that "' she loved him for the dangers he had passed."
The young lady was not blinded by the trappings of
military costume, or the glare of martial glory. But
she is a very pious girl, whose whole heart and soul
have been devoted to the cause of heathen missions;
and she has thus thrown herself into the cause, and resolved to love the Indian for the.work ii! which he is
engaged. For our own part, we must say, that we
wish he had never crossed the Niagara. But the die is
cast, and the late comely and accomplished Miss
F, of London, is now the wife of Mr. Peter Jones,
of the Chippewas; but that she is deluded, and knows
nothing of the life she is to encounter, there can be no
doubt. As,evidence of this, she has brought out the
furniture for an elegant household establishment: rich
China vases for an Indian lodge, and Turkey.carpets
fo spread on the morasses of the Canadian forests!
Instead of a mansion she will find a wigwam, and
the manufacture of brooms and baskets instead of
embroidery.
In justice to the spectators of the scene, however, it
is proper to state, that a few of her real friends in this
city-those into whose immediate society she was castlabored diligently to open her eyes to the real state of




230                APPENDIX.
the case, and the life of hardship and trial which she is
inevitably destined to lead. Poor girl! We wish she
was'by her father's ingle in Lambeth, and Peter Jones
preaching to the Chippewas, with the prettiest squaw
among them for his wife!
HINTS TO MARRIED MEN AND BACHELORS.
Having seen the building of alhnost every house in
this great metropolis, I think I must have been dull,
indeed, not to have learned something of the men and
their manners for the last half century. I think, also,
it is the duty of every man, woman, and bachelor, who
know any thing whereby they may benefit their neighbors, to tell it.
A young attorney among my friends, in copying an
instrument, began, " Know one woman by these presents," &c. His partner, in passing, glanced at the
apparent mistake. "Stop, sir, you should say,'know
all men."' "Oh, never mind," replied the junior;
"if one woman knows, all men will soon know."  So,
as I speak to one woman, I hope all men who hear
may attend.
Life and health being continued, I purpose to send
forth, in the Home Journal, a weekly bulletin on the
domestic economy of kitchen, parlor, store, and housekeeping, being the results of fifty-four years' experience
in that department.
As I sat' in my tent-door on Washington's birthday,
I thought of the four celebrations I had witnessed while
he lived in our midst. With the pleasures of memory,




APPENDIX.                231
I retraced the years of twenty-two to twenty-five, and
thought to myself that if I were to live - my life over
again, I would just manage my treaty of peace, amity,
and concord, with the lassies, after the same mode and
form which I pursued fifty-five years ago. Therefore,
my young friends, I will just describe the process, and
say unto you, Go and do likewise. When I emerged
from the cottage wherein I first drew breath (in Scotland), I looked on'the daughters of men, and saw that
they were fair. I resolved that as soon as I could earn
one shilling sterling per day I would enter on a life copartnership with one of these native beauties. What
God makes beautiful, it is for man to admire; and
perceiving by statistical tables, that God sent annually
into the world an equal proportion of men and women,
I therefore thought it must be His law, that every man
should have his mate at once, leaving future provision
and consequences to Him who hangs creation on his
arm, and feeds her at his board. It is fifty-four years
since I ratified that treaty of peace; amity, and equal
rights, and never for one moment did I regret the contract; nor did I ever lack a loaf in the pantry, or a
dollar in my purse. If God sent another mouth, he
always sent food to fill it.. With regard to courtship,
it is the easiest thing in the world. Love is the language of nature.  The veriest fool, if he can't pronounce, can speak it with his eyes, and women are
nice interpreters. When first thinking of these affairs,
I resolved in my own mind never to spend an hour in
private conversation with any young, woman till I had
determined on taking to myself a wife; and also,
never to spend an hour with any woman except she




232                APPENDIX.
was the one whom, above all others in the world, I
wished to make my wife. On this principle I practised and prospered. There is nothing to be gained by
hanging around a sensible woman for months, repeating opera gossip or play-house nonsense. You mistake
the sex if you hope to win their favor by this means.
While you think they are smiling at your small wit,
they are only laughing at your great folly. -I have
sojourned with ladies who had more sense in their little
finger, than you could squeeze from a dozen of such
heads as you nmay see daily leaning on the door-posts
and lintels of the Astorfor support.
If you wish to gain the affections of a virtuous
woman, you must speak to her the words of truth and
soberness. If you wish to make her your wife, tell her
so; if you don't, you have no business in her company.
Ladies often suffer martyrdom when, from politeness
and pity, they are compelled to sit for hours, hearing
(not listening to) the small talk of some biped whom
Madam Nature had been toiling on all day to form his
handsome person, but, having tired of the job by sundown, had rolled him from her workbench, forgetting
*to put brains in his head. As I said before, Mr. Bachelor, if you don't want that lady to become your wife,
you have no business in her company. You, perhaps,
keep at a distance a worthy, modest, but bashful young
man, who would gladly give a dollar per minute, for
the next half hour, could he only occupy the place on
the sofa which you now fill with your useless identity.
If you wish that lady to become your partner for life,
tell her so, like a man of sense. She don't want a
monkey without nerve, muscle, sinew, or brain in his




APENDIX.                  233
frame, and whose most prominent point of distinction
is a wild-goat's beard, projecting from the nether circle
of his under lip; she wants a strong arm to lean on
for support and protection; she needs a man of mind,
who will lead, guide, cherish, and protect her on their
life-journey, till the end.
I need not say what the woman should be; for, as I
think, she is the most perfect subject in all creation's
work, in all creation's plan; as Burns speaks of Nature:
"Her'prentice hand she tried on man,
And then she made the lassies, O!"
Having just learned that Mary and you are agreed
on the preliminaries of a matrimonial treaty, I will
only remark, in conclusion, and by way of encouragement, that if you behave to your partner likea man of
sense, while you walk together by the way, the honeymoon will neyer wane, but shine brighter and brighter,
till you put up at the last inn by the wayside-the
grave.
MR. MRh ED-MA: —Having heard of your marriage,
I send you, with my congratulations, a few hints, which,
if followed, will keep the chain of matrimonial felicity
ever bright and burnished. Devote your leisure hours
to the company of your wife; leave -politics to politicians; they will make as many Presidents, at one
sitting, as will serve you for a lifetime. If your circumstances are easy, and you are fond of out-door amusement, let your wife be your constant companion. It is
unkind, unmanly, and impolite to leave her pining
alone at home, while you are abroad enjoying yourself.




234                 APPENDIX.
To him whose lot it is to earn his bread by the sweat
of his brow, I would say, when the labor of the day is
done, spend the evening at home with your wife; or,
if no cares prevent, walk together in one of the beautiful parks, or accompany your wife to a public lecture.
Thus will you learn something, and make the evening,
seem short. If your wife is engaged in repairing your
garments or in smoothing your linen, then sit by the
table, and read to her the news of the day. If the
children are to be cared for, stay at home and do your
part. If one is fretful, take it on your knee, and sing
to it; if the other stirs in the cradle, put your foot on
the rocker. This will lighten the cares of your partner, and cause a smile upon the face of her whom
you so fondly admire. I speak from fifty-four years of
experience.
I have a word to say to you young men of moderate
circumstances. You expect to, and no doubt many
will, become merchant princes of the next generation.
I advise you to take a wife, as the first and best step in
commencing business. If yours is a retail business,
have your dwelling under the same roof, if possible;
and if there is a room at the back of the Store, so much
the better. Have the door which opens into the sto-re
made of glass, so that when you are -out on busiless,
your wife can sit and sew by said window, and Bee
what is going on in the store at the same time. Never
leave your store except on business which no one but
yourself can perform. Horse, foot, and p-oaey races,
fishing, fowling, and sailing, will never py your rent;
and while you are hooking fish from the r'er, the boy
in the store is hooking money fronm te till. Besides




APPENDIX.                235
should you meet with an accident, which often occurs
on these occasions, your first exclamation would be,
"What business had I there?"
As profit, pleasure, and small capital never long'agree, our fish-catching merchant, in a few months,
shuts up two hours earlier than usual. Says Dick,
"What's the matter?"  "tIHush!" says Tom; "the
sheriff is taking an inventory." He now discovers,
when too late, that the cheapest fish are caught in Fulton Market with a silver hook.
When you are out on business, hurry home as fast
as possible. I lost thirty dollars one day, about fifty
years ago, by standing five minutes in the street, rehearsing the items of Bonaparte and his battle of
Wagl-am. When I came home, I said, "Good wife,
has any one inquired for me?"  "Mr. Brown," she
said,'called to pay his bill. Some explanation is
wanted, and he says he will call at two o'clock this
afternoon."  He started for Canada that night, and I
never saw him more. I wished Napoleon and Wagram
in Hackensack swamp.
Again: As you are only beginning the world, abstain
from purchasing costly furniture, and fly, as you would
from the plague, all temptations to purchase plate.
Perhaps your wife will attend a tea-water party at the
house of a lady friend, whose husband is an old-established merchant. On the table is a silver tea-pot, a
silver milk-pot, sugar-bowl, and tongs. At nine o'clock
you accompany your wife home. (This little incident
occurred about fifty years ago, when we had no Italian
fiddlers, rope-dancers, men and women singers, live
elephants, and monkeys, to keep people out of bed all




236                APPENDIX.
night.) On the way home, your wife looks sad, and
never opens her mouth. Arrived at home, she takes
her stand before the looking-glass while untying her
hat. Her late pretty face is now as long as a May-pole.
You are distressed on her account. In the most soothing manner possible, you inquire what is the matter
with your dear. For a minute or so she will not speak,
and, perhaps, begins to cry. Now be cool; take it
easy, and acquit yourself like a man. These tears are
the grape-shot which the ladies always carry in the
magazines of their sparkling eyes, with which they
mow down their opponents as fast as did the Invincibles
of Bonaparte on the plains of Austerlitz. We have
whole-hog, half-alligator, and half-horse men in Tennessee and - Kentucky, who will stand before Colt:s sixbarrel revolvers, without flinching; but there are not
ten men between Plymouth Rock and the shores of
the Pacific who can stand the shot from a woman's
eye.
As I hinted above, keep cool; move your chair closer
to hers; cover your face and -cry a little, by way of
sympathy. As soon as she hears you sigh, her tender
heart will relent, and become your comforter. 1Nlow
you will hear that this m.uch ado about nothing was
only a storm in a tea-pot —this hateful tea-pot, this
sugar-bowl, and this milk-pot. "I am sure, Mr. Snodgrass, you can afford me a silver tea-pot as well as Mr.
So-and-so can his wife." Now another crystal drop is
rolling from her pretty eyes; but don't look; you will
be shot. For her sake, for your own sake, and for the
sake of the next generation, don't give up the ship.
Draw closer your chair; commence a mild and sooth



APPENDIX.                237
ing speech, sprinkled with some of the elegant sentiments and metaphors with which you were wont to
address your lady-love before marriage. Commence
the exordium somewhat after this fashion: " You
know, my dear, that Mr. So-and-so has been long
established in a sure and profitable business; has made
a fortune, and is now on the point of retiring; whereas
we are only beginning with a small capital. I can't
conduct my business without borrowing money from
the bank. When I borrow one hundred dollars from
the bank, I pay seven -dollars a year as interest. Were
we to get a silver tea-pot, sugar-bowl, milk-pot, and
tongs, they would cost over three hundred dollars. The
interest on this sum is twenty-one dollars a year. This
would buy you a good winter and a good summer hat;
and I would much rather look on your lovely face,
under a pretty hat, than to see you pouring tea from a
silver tea-pot, to wet the mouths of some one who might
go home and laugh at what they would call our extravagances." If she has the right feelings within her, she
will wipe her weeping eyes, and, with a smile, acknowledge the justness of your speech. It is thus that a woman
should be led; she was never made to be driven.
We left the happy pair complacently smiling on
each other as the storm in a tea-pot began to subside.
In fact, there had been no storm; there was only a
small dark spot on the matrimonial horizon, about as
large as a man's hland, such as the servant of Elijah
the Prophet espied fiorm the top of Mount Carmel.
She smiled, seeing she had a colilpaniion who would
pity her weakness, bear with her infirmities and inex



238                AUPENDIX.
perience, be a light to her feet, and a lamp in her path.
HeI smiled when he looked on the beautiful, delicate.
laughing little mortal whom heaven had given him,
and he vowed in his heart that he would nourish and
cherish her all the days of his life.
In process of time, two small children were climbing
upon the sofa, and sitting around the table-one a boy,
two years old; the other a girl, twenty months younger.
We were literally next-door neighbors, and on such
sociable terms, the knocker on the door was never used
on entering either dwelling.  Our wives, too, being
women of like passions, were knit together in bonds
of sisterly love.
I stepped into my neighbor's house at three o'clock
in the afternoon. At a considerable distance from the
fire, at the southwest side of the table, sat Mrs. Snodgrass, with her little girl on her lap; on the northeast
side of the table sat Mr. S., feeding the little boy. I
said, " Neighbors, you look like a family party. The
storm in the tea-pot has blown over!" We had a hearty
laugh about the old tea-pot. Their circumstances were
prosperous and thriving. They saw their children's
children, and at last were gathered to their fathers, like
a shock of corn fully ripe. IIe died first, and* two
years thereafter she was laid by his side. They sleep
in St. Paul's church-yard.
Another cotemporary was Cornelius Snyder, a rich
and prosperous merchant, who always felt poor. When
the profits and loss of the last voyage were balanced,
he always looked miserable if he had not made over
five thousand dollars clear profit when he had confidently expected ten thousand. The days' which he




APPENDIX.                239
should have been enjoying with the wife of his youth,
were spent over the day-book and ledger. He thus
passed the years of discretion (in fact, he never had
any discretion, or he would have sooner ordered that
" pearl of great price" in the merchant's invoice-a
pretty little wife). But hereby hangs a tale which, in
spite of discretion, I must relate, by way of digression;
and I fear the whole chapter will be nothing more than
a string of abstract, incoherent, and unconnected ideas,
which come floating on the brain as the smoke rises
curling from my pipe. The brightest of repartee and
the flattest of nonsense alike provoke a hearty laugh;
and as I write to make the lassies laugh, they will not
too critically scrutinize the incongruities contained in
the tales of their grandfather.
I lived in Virginia during the winter of 1848. At
an evening party in Richmond, there were twelve
mothers, twelve daughters, and a tolerable sprinkling
of fathers, sons, widows, and widowers present, with
Laurie Todd in their midst; and you may be sure we
had some fun. Conversing with an ancient lady, she
remarked that her grandfather came from Scotland
when young, and settled in Virginia. He became a
merchant and planter, and grew rich. His agent in
Glasgow was Alexander McAlpin, to whom he consigned two or three cargoes of tobacco every year, and
received in return cash, dry goods, hardware, etc. He
had flocks and herds, men-servants and maid-servants,
horses and mules; but one thing he yet lacked-he
had no pretty wife to sing with him when he came
home at night, fatigued with counting money, and
satiated with worldly pelf, for he had more of that than




240                  PP~EDIX.
heart could wish. So, after a while, he concluded to
take a wife-as soon as he could catch one. But here
was the rub. His time was so occupied with his business that he could not find time to look about himn for
a wife; and, worse than all, he was a bashful man.
When he saw a maiden of twenty advancing in his
path, he would cross the street, fearful of being killed
by a shot from her sparkling eyes. But a remedy was
at hand, however. He had often heard his parents
speak much in praise of the bonny lassies who play
among the heather on the hill-tops in Scotland. A
bright idea struck him. When he was leaving the
office, his clerk was copying a duplicate order for sundries to be sent as part of the return cargo. He
thought to himself that he would order a young lassie
for a wife, as the last item on the list. The article was
ordered accordingly. At the same time he wrote a
private letter of instructions to his agent, Mr. McAlpin,
giving a minute description of the article wanted, as
to age, height, health, etc. In short, she must be a
bonny Scotch lassie; to be sent on the return of his
own ship; her name to be on the manifest, bill of
lading, etc. He promised, on arriving, to have her
stored in the house of a respectable widow whom he
named, and, if agreeable to the parties concerned, he
would make her his wife in thirty days after her arrival. If not, and she wished to return, he would pay
expenses, loss of time, etc.
When Sandy McAlpin had finished reading the letter of instructions, he slowly removed his spectacles,
muttered to himself, " The lad (his correspondent, who
was thirty years old) is daft; he tells me to send him




APPENDIX.                241
a wife, as if she was a barrel o' &a't herrings; gid&
kent thefash (trouble) I was at to get a wife for mysel'.
I'll see what the gude wife says" (a bright idea).
Next day Mrs. McAlpin sat in council with Mrs. A.
and B. Invitations were sent to ten matrons, whose
daughters were in and out of their teens, to assemble
at Mrs. McAlpin's tea-board. Each matron was requested to bring with her a -daughter who was not
" o'er young to marry yet." All being present an iiour
before tea, ~Mr. McAlpin read the letter, and made an
explanation. They then sat down to tea. After tea
each lass gave in her ultimatum, when it was found
that-only three were willing to accept the offer. These
three agreed to draw lots to decide the preference.
Mary Robinson drew the longest straw, and was hailed
as the bonny bride.
In ten days thereafter they set sail for America.
They entered Chesapeake Bay after a voyage of twelve
weeks? and in two days more they were in James
River. When Mr. Crawford, our hero, heard of the
arrival of the ship, he, with four servants, repaired to
the wharf. Mary was standing on the quarter-deck,
admiring Nature's wildest grandeur. She had recovered from her sea-sickness when four days out. The
healthful breezes of the broad Atlantic had imprinted
on her pretty face a beautiful freshness. There she
stood, her cheek tinged with the roses of Sharon, and
her bonny brow white as the lily of the valley. Crawford sprang on deck, and was introduced by the captain..He looked on Mary with love and admiration;
her soft hand lay in his; he was shot!
They all descended from the ship, and repaired to
11




242                APPENDIX.
the ruansicon of the widow aforesaid. On the thirtieth
day of probation the lovers were united in the holy
bonds of wedlock. In conclusion, the sprightly, though
venerable widow, remarked, that a happier couple were
never linked together.
We return to friend Snyder. His father camne from
Hesse, being one of those mercenaries whom George
the Third sent forth to extinguish the flames of liberty,
which threatened to burn up every hut, tree, and shrub
in this country. After having dodged the grape-shot
and musket-balls of the Yankees, he gave the British
army the slip when about to embark, set up a small
tavern, denominated a grog-shop in these days, married a Yankee lass, became rich, died, and was buried,
leaving one son and two daughters to divide the
spoils.
But, before we commence with the son, perhaps it
will be better to finish the remark about Pocahontas, with
whom we parted on the banks of the James River. I
think it was in November that I traced the Chesapeake
Bay, and sailed on the James River. Every foot of that
country is rich in historical fame, or sacred to Revolutionary tradition. There stood Yorktown; there stood
the American, French, and English redoubts; and
there stood Lord Cornwallis when he surrendered his
sword to Washington. (George the Third made Lord
Cornwallis, but no power, save the hand of Omnipotence, could form a WASHnvGTON.) There, also, stood
the wigwam of Pocahontas. Near by is a large round
stone, scooped out so as to hold about a gallon -of
water, in which Pocahontas used to lave her face and




APPENDIX.                243
wring her flowing tresses. There is the cleft of the
rock under which she disrobed, when bathing her
slender limbs in the still waters of James River. She
was a queen of nature's own making. The' name of her
father was Powhattan, a celebrated Indian warrior.
She was born in the year 1595. She discovered the
warmest friendship for the English when~ she was only
ten years old, and was afterwards useful to the first
settlers. A remarkable instance of this attachment
was displayed in 1607, when Captain John Smith was
taken prisoner. He was brought before her father,
that he might put him to death. As the savage lifted
his club to dash out his brains, Pocahontas threw herself upon Smith's body, and prevailed on her father to
spare his life. Captain' Smith was permitted to return
to Jamestown, from whence he sent presents tb Powhattan and his lovely daughter.
From this time Pocahontas frequently visited the
settlements of the whites, to whom she furnished provisions at times'when they were much needed. In
1609 Podwhattan invited Smith to pay him a visit,
promising him a supply of provisions, but designing
to destroy both him and all his people. Pocahontas
becoming informed of the plot, ventured through the
forest at midnight to disclose it to Smith. For three
or four years she continued to assist these settlers in
their distresses, and to save them from the effects of her
father's animosity. During this period, Smith had been
driven, by faction, to England, and the rapacity of his
successors plunged the settlement into an Indian war.
An attack was made on one of the forts by the Indians,
tnder Powhattan, when thli commander and thirty men




244                APPENDIX.
were slaughtered, only one person, a boy, surviving,
and he was saved by Pocahontas.
About this time she left her father's house on a visit
to a neighboring chief, when she fell in with Mr.
Thomas Rolfe, an Englishman of respectable character.
He became attached to her, and offered.her his hand.
It was accepted, and the consent of her father being
obtained, they were married. In 1616, she -embarked,
with her husband and several Indians of both sexes,
for England, where she was baptized by the name of
Rebecca, a sweet name, and one to be held in everlasting remembrance. (See Genesis, 24th chapter.) She
became a subject of curiosity to all classes. During
her stay in London, she advanced greatly in the knowledge of the English language, and her conversation
was much sought at court. Her residence among
civilized men, however, was destined to be short.
While about to embark from Gravesend with her husband and an infant son, to revisit her native land, she
died, at the age of twenty-two years, leaving one son,
who was educated by his uncle in London, and afterwards became a wealthy and distinguished character in
Virginia. His descendants still reside in that State,
numerous, rich, and respectable. While sojourning
there, I was introduced to one of them, who was every
inch a gentleman.
When ascending the river,  was the only passenger;
our skipper was the second edition of Captain Baltus
(see Paulding's Dutchman's Fireside). Tide or wind
being ahead, he would quietly drop anchor, smoke his
pipe, and ruminate, until luck changed. Having
drawn my attention to the location of the wigwam of




APPENDIX.                245
Pocahontas, about a mile ahead, I was much gratified,
on nearing the spot, to see the anchor plunge into the
river. The captain went with me to the spot. While
there,.with my hand in her wash-bowl, I beheld, in my
mind's eye, this tall, straight,; slender Indian maiden,
with a towel on her arm, her slender foot and tiny
moccasin scarcely leaving an imprint. in the sand, as
she passed from the basin to the river. There can be
no mistake in the locality of her dwelling. Posts are
set up, from time to time, by those who cherish her
memory, to mark the spot; and as the wash-basin forms
part of the rock, it will remain while woods grow and
waters run.
We return to our frien'd Snyder. After his father's
death he went largely into the shipping line, and prospered. At the age of forty-eight he resolved that, as
he had no partner in his office, he would have one at his
table. He married a handsome young woman, whose
parents were poor, but respectable. He was old enough
to have been her father. He had a very small portion
of the milk of human kindness; so they lived ten
years in splendid misery, when he died, leaving ~is
wife and a son seven years old to wind up the affairs of
his large establishment. Being thus in the power of
strangers, the task of closing a concern of such magnitude was far beyond her capabilities. She was cheated
by some and robbed by others. Finally, the balance left
was not sufficient for the support of the widow and her
son. I knew many who were " merchant princes" lifty
years ago, whose families were ruined in a similar way.
If you expect to be a merchant (being now only a




246                APPENDIX.
clerk, with five hundred dollars a year), get married.
Choose a partner who is willing to live according to
your income-one whose mother has taught her to
work, wash, mend stockings, make pies and cake, and
knows how to put an apple in a dumpling. Let her be
handsome, and one whom you can love above all others
in the world. You will then want no other companion.
You will then live happier and cheaper than you now
do, paying board, washing, and mending, besides every
now and then having a piece lost. Your washerwoman is poor, and can't make good the loss you sustain.
As you now live, perhaps you don't save fifty out of
the five hundred dollars per annum. You leave your
office at seven or eight o'clock in the evening, and
stroll up Broadway, where you fall in with one or two
companions. You step into Niblo's, and call for three
glasses of ice-cream (three shillings); another companion then joins you; you call for a cigar, and four
are handed (one shilling). IHere, then, are four shillings gone for what most people would consider nonsense. Only think, four loaves of bread blown away
in tobacco smoke. These four loaves would supply the
table with bread for yourself, wife, and child, from
Monday morning to Saturday night. You say you
wish to marry, but can't support a wife. Get such a
one as] have described; she will more than support
herself. You now pay more for cigars than it cost me
to keep my wife fifty years ago. SWour income is five
hundred, while mine was only three hundred dollars.
My expenses after marriageswere less than they were before; besides, the prattle of her little Yankee tongue




APPENDIX.                 247
and the light of her countenance were, to -me, worth a
hundred dollars a month. But we return to Niblo's.
The cigars being lit, you adjourn to the street, and
"where shall we go?" is the question. "To the theatre," say all.. There you pay fifty or seventy-five
cents for admission. The play over, the porter and
oyster house come next in rotation. Half boozy, you
stagger on your way to your boarding-house, or to
sleep in the store. In the morning you are aroused;
having slept only three hours, you get up with a headache and all the torments of a person not blessed.
Verily, the way of the transgressor is hard.
During a sojourn of fifty-seven years in INew York,
I have trod the streets at every hour of the day and
night, in search, of doctors and nurses; and I have
seen, at daybreak, between Liberty street and the
Park, as many as six of the "' guardians of the night"
make a peaceable entry into a store, by means of the
key, while the master is playing whist with his neighbor in   -    Place, and his clerks playing funny
tricks in an adjoining street, with money purloined
from the till the day previous. Thus, the candle being
lit at both ends, will soon bring the concern to a close.
In choosing a wife, letf her be of a family not vain' of
their name or connections, but remarkable for their simplicity of manners and integrity of life. Never fix
your eyes on a celebrated beauty. She is apt to be
too pyoud of her pretty face, and afraid of soiling her
delicate hands. >ie woman who washes her own silver spoons, China cups and platters, and performs
other light services in the family, is always the most
healthy, the most happy, and the most contented; for




248                APPENDIX.
thus her mind is occupied, and she gains the approba
tion of her husband and of her own conscience. The
woman who leaves her family four or five hours every
day, running from shop to shop, and making calls, is
always unhappy, for conscience says, "You have sown
the wind, and you shall reap the whirlwind."
Beauty is-very desirable in the choice of a wife.
You will be. proud of your handsome wife when you
introduce her to a friend; but by all means find out, if
you can, if she is vain of her beauty. If you find she
is daily washing her already pretty face with milk of
roses and patent cosmetics-that she is daily pouring
Cologne-water and Macassar-oil on her already glossy
hair-if this is the case, it is rather an alarming symptom. A handsome woman never looks so pretty as
when she don't know it. I dare say some of the young
lassies will laugh at a man near fourscore talking
about pretty faces; but I was once as young as any of
them, and in the pleasures of memory I live my life
over again; and though I now and then look through
spectacles, yet I would rather gaze an hour on a handsome picture, than to squint at a homespun piece of
work for a minute.
Good-nature is another necessary virtue in a wife.
This, though, is not so very essential, as a man must be
a consummate blockhead indeed if he can't lead (not
drive) a woman by fair words. A good manager is another indispensable qualification. After marriage, if
a woman does not pride herself on her knowledge of
family affairs and laying out money to the best advantage, let her be ever so sweet-tempered, gracefully
made, or elegantly accomplished, she is no wife for a




APPENDIX.                249
man of business. When people are harnessed in the
yoke matrimonial, they must draw together. It is a
man's duty to give to his wife; it is the wife's duty to
use it with the most scrupulous economy.
THE NIGHT FUNERAL OF A SLAVE.
TRAVELLING recently on business in the interior of
Georgia, I reached, just at sunset,. the mansion of the
proprietor through whose estate for the last half hour
of my journey I had pursued my way. My tired companion pricked his ears, and, with a low neigh, indicated his pleasure, as I turned up the broad avenue
leading to the house. Calling to a black boy in view,
I bade him inquire of his owner if I could be accommodated with lodgings for the night.
My request brought the proprietor himself to the
door, and from thence to the gate, when, after a scrutinizing glance at my person and equipments, he inquired my name, business, and destination. I promptly
responded to his questions, and he invited me to alight
and enter the house, in the true spirit of Southern hospitality.
He was apparently thirty years of age, and evidently
a man of education and refinement. I soon observed
an air of gloomy abstraction about him. He said but
little, and even that little seemed the result of an effort
to obviate the seeming want of civility to a stranger.
At supper, theonistress of the mansion appeared and
did the honors of the table in her particular depart11*




250                APPENDIX.
ment. She was exceedingly lady4like and beautiful, as
Southernwomen generally are. She retired immediately
after supper, and a servant, handing some splendid
Havanas on a silver tray, we had just seated ourselves
comfortably before a blazing fire of oak-wood, when a
servant appeared at the door of the parlor, and uttered
in a subdued, but distinct tone, the, to me, startling
words:
"Master, de coffin hab come."
"Very well," was the reply, and the servant disappeared.
My host remarked my look of surprise, and replied
to it as follows:
"I have been sad," said he, "to-day; I have had a
greater misfortune than any I have experienced since I
lost my father. I lost this morning the truest and the
most reliable friend I had in the world-one whom I
have been accustomed to honor and respect since my
erliest recollection. He was the playmate of my'- youth, and the Mentor of mine.
- iA faithful servant, an honest man, and a sincere
Christian, I stood by his bedside to-day, with his hand
clasped in mine. I heard the last words he utteredthey were,' Master, meet me in heaven."'
His voice faltered a moment, and he continued, after
a pause, and with increased excitement: " His loss is
a melancholy one to me. If I left my home, I said to
him:
"' John, see that all things are taken care of;' and
I knew that my wife and child, property, and all, were:as safe as though guarded by a hundred soldiers.  I
never spoke a harsh word to him in my life, for he




APPENDIX.                251
never merited one. I have a hundred others, many of
them faithful and true, but his loss is irreparable."
I came from a section of the Union where slavery
does not exist; and brought with me many of the
prejudices which so generally prevail in the free States
in regard to this institution. I had already seen much
to soften these; but the observation of years would
have failed to give me so clear an insight into the relation between master and servant, as this simple incident. It was not the haughty planter, the lordly tyrant,
talking of his dead slave, as of his dead horse; but the
kind-hearted gentleman, lamenting the loss and eulogizing the virtues of his good old friend.
After an interval of silence, mine host resumed:
" There are," said he, " many of the old man's relatives
and friends, who would wish to attend his funeral.
To afford them an opportunity, several plantations have
been notified that he will be buried to-night; some, I
presume, have already arrived, and desiring to see
that all things are properly prepared for his interment,
I trust you will excuse my absence for a few mo-.ments."
".Most certainly, sir," I added; "but if there is no
impropriety, I would be pleased to accompany you."
"There is none," he replied; and I followed him-to
one of a long row of cabins, situated at the distance
of some three hundred yards from the mansion: the
house was crowded with negroes, who all arose on our
entrance, and many of them exchanged greetings with
mine host, in tones that convinced me they felt that
he was an object of sympathy from them; the corpse
was deposited in the coffin, attired in a shroud of




252                APPENDIX.
the finest cotton materials, and the coffin itself painted
black.
The master stopped at his head, and laying his
hand upon the cold brow of his faithful bondsman,
gazed long and intently upon the features with which
he had been so long familiar, and which he now
looked upon for the last time on earth; raising his
eyes at length, and glancing at the serious countenances
now bent upon his, he said solemnly and with much
feeling:
"He was a faithfuii servant and a true Christian.
If you follow his example, and live as he lived, none
of you need fear when your time comes to lie there."
A patriarch, with the snows of eighty winters on his
head, answered —
"Master, it is true, and we will try to live like
him."
There was a murmur- of general assent; and after
giving some instruction relative to the burial, we returned to the dwelling.
About nine o'clock a servant brought word they
were ready to move.
Mine host remarked to me, that by stepping into
the piazza, I would probably witness a novel scenethe procession had moved, and its route led within a
few rods of the mansion.; there were 150 negroes,
arranged four deep, and following a wagon, in which
was placed the coffin, down the entire.length of the
lane, at intervals of a few feet on either side, were
carried torches of the rosin-pine, or candle-wood.
About the centre was stationed the black preacher, a
man of gigantic frame and stentorian lungs, who gave




APPENDIX.               253
out from memory the words of a hymn suitable to the
occasion.
The Southern negroes are proverbial fog the melody
and compass of their voices, and I thought that hymn,
mellowed by distance, the most solemn, and yet the
sweetest music, that ever fell on my ear; the stillness
of the night, and the strength of their voices, enabled
me to distinguish their sound at the distance of half
a mile. It was to me a strange and solemn scene,
and no incident in my life has impressed me with
more powerful emotions, than the night funeral of the
poor negro.
RIGHTS OF WOMEN.
AT the corner of Beekman ana Nassau streets I met
an acquaintance, a bachelor of fifty-six. Thirty years
ago I advised him to form a life-partnership, for bed
and for board, with one of the bonnie lassies whom he
used to stand staring at as he saw theem enter the Brick
Church at the ringing of the bell; at that time he said
he would, but did it not; now he says it is too late.
"I say so too. Now what have you done," says I,
" to any good purpose in the world?.Your bank stock,
your fancy and humbug stock, will soon go to heirs you
know not who, and your name will soon perish out of
the city; while I will neveir die-with my children,
my grandchildren, and GREAT-grandchildren, the name
of Thorburn will live in this Model Republic as long as
wood grows and water runs."
" Have you great-grandchildren?" he inquired.
"I have," says I, "and the oldest is no chicken




254                APPENDIX.
either, for she opens and shuts the door when I call to
see her; and the greeting of Great-Grand-Pa, and the
parting kiss from her pouting lips, gives pleasure more
sublime than you or John Jacob ever felt when counting your bank shares, or summing up your railroad
stock."
"Stop, Grant," he exclaimed, "you'll compel me to
marry in spite of my teeth."
And he was compelled to marry in spite of his teeth,
in three months thereafter; for, meeting at a tea-party
(bachelors are always invited by widows and matrons)
a blithesome spinster of twenty-eight summers, who
took his fancy, he resolved to make her his own; and
so well did he run the parallels, and so close did he
lay the siege, that she surrendered at discretion in less
than two months; and, as she remarked afterwards,
she only said YEs to get quit of his teazing.
But we return to our friend. On the corner of Beekman street this conversation was held, three weeks previous to his introduction at the tea-party.
Having now got a wife and a house of his own, he
left his card. It was four o'clock P. m. when I called;
they had just finished dinner, and sat, having the table
between them, cracking nuts and cracking jokes. He
seldom turned his eyes from admiring her handsome
countenance, and she seemed highly pleased with her
new husband, her new house, her new sofas, carpets,
chairs, glasses, &c., and, above all, with her own new
life; pleasure sparkled in her eyes, and with the exuberance of her spirits, her deportment had more of
eighteen than twenty-eight years.
"My worthy friend," said I, " I should think from




APPENDIX.                255
appearances, that one day spent in this house is better
than a thousand spent in the solitary haunts of a bachelor."
" Yes," he replied, " and I only wish I had taken
your advice twenty years ago."
They seem as happy now as in the full of the honeymoon. A boy and girl make glad their hearts. While
the- son deposits Athe checks, the daughter escorts the
mother on all shopping excursions.
But we return, for I had almost forgotten the rights
of the Ladies. For the last sixty years the world has
been turned upside down by a set of vain philosophers
-miserable fools and silly dreamers-writing volumes
of theories (which will never work in practice), whose
leaves, if cut in strips, would circumnavigate the
globe; and all this about the Rights of.Nan. Not a
word about the Rights of Women! These champions
of Freedom would not even allow the ladies of Paris
to choose the color of their own night-caps, for they cut
off the head of the Queen, and the heads of thousands
of the- prettiest women in France, merely because they
thought a white night-cap better became them than a
red one; and this was French gallantry, this was
French liberty of speech, thought, and action. How
profound the wisdom of those vain philosophers! they
wisely surmised that if the head of a woman was once
severed from her shoulders, she never would wear a
white or Royalist cap any more.
N. B. I never knew a genuine red republican, either
in Europe or America, but he was a genuine tyrant
over his wife, children, servants, and apprentices.
Next came Thomas Paine, with a huge compound of




256                 APPENDIX.
abstract ideas, entitled" Rights of Man." While thus
employed, however, he found tirme to court and marry
a respectable young woman. Three years afterwards
she obtained a divorce from  him  for cruel usage.
Ladies, this was the author of the " Rights of Man,"
the author of " Common Sense," and the author of the
" Age of Reason," while he was the most unreasonable
mortal I ever conversed with.
But to bring the matter home to our own doors and
to our own firesides.  Here I might fill a volume were
I to give the names of a set of matrimonial jugglers
whom I have known in the city for fifty-seven years
past..They were married to some of the finest specimens of women the world could produce; they swore
at the altar to nourish and to cherish these weaker
vessels all the days of their lives. But, within six
months after marriage, should his delicate partner happen to be indisposed, away he goes to some wardmeeting, or card-meeting, or club-meeting, or may be
he takes some country cousin and away they hie to
Niblo's, the Lyceum, the Opera, or Castle Gardens-she
sits by the window, her pale cheek resting on her delicate hand —the tears, like drops of pearl, are trembling
in her beautiful eyes, while her husband and cousin
descend the front steps with loud peals of laughter,
every one of which strikes on her heart like the sharp
point of the cold steel in the hand of an assassin. Perhaps she sees no more of him till eight o'clock next
morning, when he asks if his coffee is ready.
Now, Mr. Whisker-face, or Mr. Goat's-beard, is it
thus that you nourish and cherish your wife? she don't
treat you so. This conduct in a young husband is




APPENDIX;                257
mean, unmanly, and despicable in the extreme. It is
cruel to leave her moping alone, while you are abroad
finding your own pleasure. But you say you left her
in the hands of a good nurse. No doubt you did, but
to a young wife there is no nurse like a kind husband.
Had you stayed at home, mixed the medicine, carried
the cup to her lips (from your hand the bitter drug
would taste sweet), then sat down beside her, and as
close as you please too, and if you had told her one-half
of the fine stories you were wont to relate three weeks
before marriage, she would have been perfectly well
before the going down of another.sun. This is woman's
right, and you are sworn to respect it; in her presence
maintain the same modest deportment, the same gentle
address, and the same winning glance from your eye
which you were wont to assume in the days of courtship; if you do this her love will never fail, and she
will say that she is the happiest woman in the world;
thus the honeymoon will never wane, but shine brighter and brighter, till you put up together at the last Inn
by the wayside-the grave. I speak from fifty-four
years' experience, and can add that I never saw an'unhappy marriage out of five score but that the man was
either a rogue or a fool.
There is another class of land-pirates who prey on
the rights of women. New York, and Broadway in
particular, is completely infested by them in pleasant
weather, for these fowls of fine feathers can't breast a
storm; you may see them on the steps of the Astor,
and every other hotel where drone bees do congregate.
There they stand, planted like the Mandarins in the
show-window of a tea-shop. If you have time and




258                 APPENDIX.
patience to stand by St. Paul's, you may count some
scores of these automatons, passing and repassing fifty
times, between Leonard and Rector streets, in the
course of three hours. They generally hook arms, and
as they grin, and talk, and look in one another's faces,
their motion has much of the swagger of the Siamese
twins. You may know them by the cut of their jibs;
they have beards like the goats on the mountains of St.
Gothard; their slender waists (I.am now speaking of
two-legged animcals who call themselves men) are
squeezed up with whalebone, cord, and buckram; they
resemble a group of spiders suspended between heaven
and the great deep from the, branch of a peach-tree.
They also wear suspenders, which are intended to act
as preventers (as the sailors say), to stop the extremities from parting with the trunk. Now these simple
sons of silly women do nothing but hunt among the
weaker sex, seeking whom they may devour. They
are of their father the devil, for he was the first lying
dandy that ever deceived a woman. The weaker sister
having lost caste, is driven from society to the highways
and hedgeways for food and shelter; trodden under foot
by the scorn of man, a by-word and hissing to her
more fortunate sisters, and laughed at by the perjured
wretch who wrought her destruction, —while he, provided his brown hide is covered with black superfine,
is admitted into the best society. Best society, indeed!
It is only a few years ago that Munroe Edwards counted
one in this best society. Edwards was a forger, a
swindler, and a cheat, and closed his life in the statesprison; but the black-hearted villain who robs a confiding maiden of her fair fame and spotless character,




APPENDIX.                 259
is a villain of a deeper dye; and this villain is a magnate in the best society-! He eats their dinners, he
drinks their wine, struts on their carpets, lolls on their
sofas, and salutes the fair lips of their daughters.
Ladies,these things are done in every grove, and under every green tree, in the best society. But it ought
not to be so.
I was led to these reflections by a visit to the penitentiary; many, very many of the female prisoners
were models of beauty in face and person; God made
them angels, man made them devils. They walked in
pairs with other outcasts from society, under the rod
and correction of a savage-looking mortal, a " Lord of
the Creation."
"Man's inhumanity to man
Makes countless thousands mourn."-BURNS.
It is an opinion current with all red republicans, that
all kings, princes, and potentates are born natural
fools; and seeing that we are all born sovereigns in
this model republic, and as Webster affirms in his dictionary, that a king and a sovereign are the same in
law, it follows, of course, that we are only a nation of
most sovereign, consummate fools. -Were it not so,
why is it that we act just the opposite from every
principle of common honesty and common sense?.
When a beggar removes a pair of pants from the door
of a store, to protect his hind quarters from the piercing
winds of a winter morning, or to hide them from the
prying gaze of a vulgar throng, he is sent to the penitentiary at once; but the men who steal hundreds of
thousands of the people's money at the Custom-house,




260                APPENDIX.
Post-office, Banks, and Insurance companies, are seldom
brought to trial, and having enough of the people's
money in hand, they dress like gentlemen, and all the
exclusives and upper-tens will lift the hat and grasp
his hand in Broadway, invite him to dinner, and play
cards with him till three o'clock A. M. on Sabbath
morning.
The small respect that is paid to the Rights of
Women is another instance of the folly of the sovereign
people. Thomas Jefferson (and he was the greatest
sovereign among all the sovereign people), in his Notes
on Virginia, avers that "man is made with strength of
body and powers of mind to direct and protect his
weaker companion, the woman;" but, instead of directing and protecting, he too often employs the cunning, subtle, devil-like powers of his mind, and the
brute strength of his body, to work her destruction.
But I cannot better describe this operation' than by
quoting from Mrs. L. Maria Child's "Letters from New
York."  Mrs. Child is a lady of modest worth, and an
eloquent writer. Had she been born in Europe, she
would have been a paragon here:
",For many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air."
lMrs. Child was paying a visit to the penitentiary,
when the editor of the "Weekly Rake" (a scurrilous
paper) was brought in to do penance for his evil deeds.
She asks- " Why should the' Weekly Rake' be shut
up, when daily rakes walk Broadway in tine broadcloth
and silk velvet?" She adds-" More than half of the
inmates of the penitentiary were women; and, of course,




APPENDIX.                261
a large proportion of them were taken up as'streetwalkers.' The men who made them such-who, perchance, caused the love of a human heart to be its
ruin, and changed tenderness into sensuality and
crime-these men live in'ceiled houses' on Broadway,
and sit in council in the City Hall, and -pass regular
tions to clear the streets they have filled with sin. Do
you suppose their poor victims do not feel the injustice
of society thus regulated a?"
Yes, my dear Mrs. Child, they do feel it; and, as it
is held in our model republic to be just, right, and lawful for men to kill tyrants now and then, provided they
may thereby recover their just and natural rights, so
we need not feel surprised when we hear, now and
*then, that one of these pirates is shot by the hand of a
woman in Leonard or any other street; nor did I wonder the other day, when one of these injured- sisters
dragged the usurper of her rights from the steps of theAstor, and made him strut through the mud like a
crow in the gutter. Served him right. He had broken
his oath and his promise, and had robbed her of all
that is dear to a woman. If the ladies only knew their
power, and were rightly to improve it for their own
advantage, they could twist the whole male generation,
like a thread of tow, around their fingers.
There seems to be something wrong in society with
regard to the rights of women. Why should the
woman be driven away into the wilderness, like a
scape-goat for the man, and bearing his sin on her own
head? She is cast out to perish; he, though the first
tran/greessor, is caressed and courted by all, as if to
sacrifice one of the weaker sex were an honor to the
16




262                APPENDIX.
man, whom God and nature has appointed to be her
protector. You may see him in Broadway, at midday, escorting a female whose character, as yet, is unsullied. She meets and receives the salutations of her
friends without a blush for being seen in contact with
the man who has worse than murdered her playfellow.
But, should his victim come within a hundred yards,
she would fly from her as from the plague.
Now, Miss Mock-Modesty, why shun your poor,
young, and blasted friend, when you are not ashamed, in
the face of the sun, in the public street, to be seen hanging on the arm of her destroyer? This thing ought not
to be so. You say that this is the fashion; and so is it
the fashion in Turkey for a man to have six wives.
I have a remedy to propose; and as this is the age
of improvement, the age of experiment, and the march
of intellect, I think the project is deserving of being
tested by experience. I would propose that a new
court be established, under the name and title of the
"Court of Conscience."  Let this court consist of three
matrons, not under forty and not over fifty years,
widows, otherwise their husbands-who perhaps in
their daft days were weekly or daily rakes, and themselves being in the same condemnation-might bias
their better judgment, and thereby the perjured villian
might escape, unwhipt of justice. These three matrons,
each being a judge; also, twelve matrons of a younger
growth, by way of a jury, all of'them to hold their
office during life. Thus, when one dies, her successor
is initiated into the routine of business without for one
moment clogging or stopping the wheels of government. This perpetual motion, or rotation in oqi e




APPENDIX.                263
(which Mr. Jefferfion recommended in his inaugural
speech in 1801), is the canker-worm which is gnawing
at the vitals of our model republic. With every new
President, new Governor, or new Mayor, from the
High Constable down to the deputy clerk of a dirt-cart,
they are removed; they had just rightly learned the
duties of their office, when the new: incumbent had to
commence his apprenticeship. Thus they "are ever
learning and never come to a knowledge of the trth."
Our affairs are solely managed by apprentices. It is
a rare case when we have a journeyman; and a master
grates on the nerves of our plain, simyple, high-minded,
sovereign people. Thus, we have blundering accounts,
defaulters, swindlers, "and every evil work." I verily
believe that when our city comes to her latter' end,
she will die from an attack of this rotary fever. But
we ret-vrn to the Court of Conscience.
We said there should be twelve matrons for a permanent jury. Now, presuming said court is properly
constituted, let the injured sister appear before them,
state her case on oath, and pray judgment against her
deceiver. As it is customary in the Senate of the
United States to sit with closed doors, so it will be
highly decorous in this court that they shut their
chamber doors -behind them. The man need not be
cited before them, for, having perjured himself to the
plaintiff already, his word, truth, and honor are totally
damned. Well, then, a majority of these matrons
finding the complaint well founded, issue their precept
to the Recorder of the city, setting forth that they
having found Tom, Dick, or Harry guilty of certain
high crimes and misdemeanors, have muleted him to




264                 APPENDIX.
pay over one-third of his estate, real and personal,
to Jane Maria, by way of indemnity, and ordering him
to seize on his property at once; if he has no property,
send him to the State-prison, and give his earnings to
the said Jane Maria during her life; at her death, let
him out, and perhaps he will learn better manners.
There can be no appeal from this to any other court;
for, as these lawgivers have refrained from enacting
laws for the- protection of women's rights, it is but
fair play for the women to take the law in their own
hands.
That this may be done inta~nter, have a petition
made out for Congress, call a meeting for ladies in the
Park, let our worthy Mayor be requested to send a
posse of old veterans from, the police-office (the Mayor,
being a man of choice gallantry, will never refuse the
ladies' request) to guard the gates, so as to prevent the
entrance of dogs, hogs, bachelors, or any of the male
creation; have the resolutions and speeches cut and
dried, so that when the ladies get on the stage, they
have pnly to read them and let all the wondering
multitude say " Aye! Aye!" Thus having done their
duty to their country and themselves, they can eat their
dinner with a merry heart.and a quiet conscience,
showing an example of'modest worth to those would-be
lords of creation who hold their meetings there, and
who generally break up in a fight between the aldermen and constables, plaintiffs and witnesses, defendants
and counsel, peace-keepers and head-breakers, pellmell, over and under each other; and this they call
liberty of speech and freedom of debate.
Having now engrossed the petition with fifty thou



APPENDIX.                265
sand signatures, send it on by a deputation of at least
one hundred matrons, selected from among the handsomest in the city. This will look respectable, and
give weight to the argument; besides, to look on the
faces of so many sparkling beauties, will thaw the
hearts of those cold-blooded, back-woods, sling-drinking members, and they will grant the petition, were it
for the " half of the kingdom." But peradventure there
should be a company of cold, calculating bachelors
there, whose influence might frustrate the passage of
the bill; let the ladies be in attendance, in case of an
emergency, ready to employ the force of their own
arms (an invincible weapon) on the morning of the
day of presenting the petition. After partaking Af a
substantial breakfast, let one and all of them replenish
their reticules with a modicum of nourishing compoundcake, likewise with a vial of simple waters, merely to
refresh the lips. Thus armed for a siege, repair early
to the Capitol, before these drowsy Sampso4s have
awoke from the lap of Delilah. Fill the gallery, and
should any opposition appear on the part of the bachelors, declare your sitting permanent. Thus, by making
a prudent use of the power which the God of Nature
has given you, soon those lords of the manor will surrender at discretion.
The following is a case in point:
About a century ago it was customary for the wives
and daughters of the peers, and other honorable ladies,
to sit in the gallery of the House of Lords, listening to
or looking at the speakers. The younger members of
the House were often detected by their seniors, with
their eyes fixed on the gallery, when they should have
12




APPENDIX.
i;cen looking at the speaker; and winking, nodding,.ld playing pantomime with their female cousins,,ihen they should have been laying in funds of political:.nomy. The elders, taking offence at this levity,tilpid old fools, they played the same tricks at;-,nty-five), passed a resolution, that hereafter no,(;olnan should be admitted to the House or gallery.
". xt day all the West End was in commotion, ladies
iJi their carriages flying in all directions;'shortly before.x P. M., the whole posse of noblemen's wives, headed. the Duchess of Devonshire, beset the door, demand-,it,' admittance. In obedience to his instructions, the,(!,orkeeper refused. They made a rush, pushed him,! ohe side, while they entered like a flock of pigeons,;i.ld filled the whole gallery. When the peers took
tiheir seats, they were confounded to see their wives:lukd married daughters, to the number of some hunldreds, dressed with all their ornaments, and holding a
silent meeting, like a company of Friends. As soon
as a quorum arrived, the Speaker took the chair;
I he sergeant-at-arms was desired to clear the galleries;
tile ladies dared him to touch them, and claimed
their right' as peeresses of the realm. The sergeantat-arms looked to the Speaker for orders. The noblemien began to laugh, the resolution was reconsidered,
and laid on the table. The majority were pro-ud of
their dames for the noble stand they had taken in defence of their rights.
Now, ladies, here you have both precept and example. If you don't stand up for your rights, it is not
my fault.




APPENDIX.                267
U. S. Bonded Storehouse, Sept. 20, 1851.
FRIEND WALKERBelow is another remarkable instance of Providential help in my time of need.
In 1849 and 1850 I kept a seed-store in Charleston,
S. C. On a certain day I had a draft payable in the
bank at three P. M. I was short twenty dollars at one
P. M. The only friend that I could depend on had left
town that morning for a week. I was walking behind
the counter, ruminating what next to do, when a gentleman, a planter in appearance, stepped in, inquiring
for turnip-seed; having paid twenty-five cents, the
amount of his purchase, he walked off, leaving the
door open. I stepped round the counter to shut the
door; I noticed a scrap lying on the floor; I took it
up-it was two ten-dollar bills on the Bank of Charleston. I stepped out, looked up and down, and stepped
to the corner of the first cross street (within three hundred feet of my door)-he was not to be seen,  His
coat was very noticeable, being an extraoidipy light
sky-blue; his speech and deportment we'. pleasing
and prepossessing; his features are stamped on my
heart. I'will know him if we meet in eternity - Observe, it was neither more nor less, it was just the
amount I stood in need of. I advertised-it was never
claimed. I state a fact, which will be explained on
the day when the dead shall rise. You can form your
own opinion; for my own part, I sat ruminating for
minutes, whether in the body or out of the body I
cannot tell.




268                 APPENDIX.
In 1808 my store and dwelling stood on the corner
of Nassau and Liberty streets, next lot was occupied
by Edward Watkeys, soap and candle maker; the
house and back building were all of wood, filled with
rosin, fat, candles, and soap. On the night of the 25th
of August, at twelve o'clock, it burst out, from front to
rear, in one tremendous blaze. The buildings stood on
the-south side of mine. A strong south wind blew at
the time. My store, and green-house in the yard (all
built of wood), were enveloped in flame; ten houses
were burned around me; yet, strange to tell, next
morning my premises stood entire, having scarcely the
mark of fire on any part of my frame buildings; only
one hole, about the size of a man's hand, was burned
through the shingle roof-twenty dollars  made good
the whole damage. Twenty thousand people were
witnesses of this fact. So rapid was the fire, that Mrs.
Watkeys, her daughter-aged twenty-two years-a
colored woman, and her three children; were all burned
to death.
On the afternoon, just six~ hours before commencing
of the fire, I had been painting flower-pots with green
varnish-paint; on the shelf stood a half gallon of spirits
of turpentine, a half gallon of rosin-varnish, and a
dozen of flower-pots new painted; they stood on a
shelf, side by side, in a loft on the second story, on the
south side, adjoining the candle factory; there was
only an inch board between this combustible matter
and the fire; through this board a hole was burned
about twice the size of a man's hand; directly opposite this hole stood the combustible matter above
named.




APPENDIX.               269
The turpentine spirits filled a strong half-gallon stone
jug, corked; the varnish-paint nearly filled a keg six
inches deep and seven broad; the mnouth of this keg
was open (no covering); next nmorning, when clearing
up, I perceived the keg filled to the brim with black
coals, being pieces of the burnt board, which must
have dropped into the varnish-pot when they were burning coals. The pot was coated outside with paint and
varnish, which had run over when mixing the paint.
This paint melted (it stood within eight inches of the
burnt board) and ran down on the shelf, which glued
the pot to the board as soon as it cooled. The newpainted pots were all fast to the board by the same
cause and means. Before removing the pots I brought
in a dozen of the neighbors and respectable citizens,
who were viewing the ruins, that they might see this
great sight —a pot of varnish burned, yet n t consumed. I let them remnainftxed as they stood, one day,
to satisfy the curiosity of thousands who called to look.
I was insured in the Eagle Insurance Company: the
directors came also to view the scene; among whom
were Henry Wyckoff, Henry Rankin, and others, then
among our merchant princes, now all numbered -with
the dead. Twenty dollars repaired the buildings, and
$1200 the damage by water, on seeds and fixtures in
the store-paid promptly. Mr. Smith Anderson, for
many.years the President of the North River Bank,
and who is yet in our midst, can testify to some of these
particulars.
John Edwards, at that time a noted street-preacher,
professing the Quaker creed, having visited the premises the day after the fire, stepped in the store; says he,




270                APPENDIX.
"Friend Grant, thee ought to go in the street, before
all these people, fall on thy knees, and thank God for thy
deliverance." Says I, " John, that thing is better done
in closet, and the door shut."
The death of five persons, and other attending cir
cumstances, brought people from all quarters to visit
the spot, for many months after.
Another.: About four years ago I had spent my last
shilling, and knew not where the next would come
from. I was walking up Broadway, between John and
Fulton streets, when I saw a half-eagle lying on the
pavement: in a second it was in my pocket, my heart
light and thankful.
Another,-rather laughable. I stepped in the greenhouse one morning, about three months ago. I picked
up a small pot that might hold a half pint of earth; in
the pot was a dear little rose-bush, as your daughter
would say-a bud was bursting into flower. I land at
Peck Slip, go along Pearl, and up Pine street to the
office. When coming through the market I put my
hand in my pocket to pay for a peach. I found I had
left my purse at home. This gave me no thought,-I
could go tick for a dinner. I meant the rose-pot as a
present to a young mian in my office, who is courting a
very pretty girl, and I thought it might give him a
shove on the track matrimonial. I carried the pot in
my hand. In Pearl, between Cedar and Pine -streets,
a young man came in my front. He appeared, from
his superfine pants and neat round jacket, like the
mate of an Indiaman. "Is that for sale?" c- "It is."
"The price?" "Fifty cents." The plant was in his
hand, the money in mine, in a half minute. I smiled




APPENDIX.                 271'when I saw the dinner-7money in my hand. Next day
I brought another plant for my young friend. I firm! z
believe in the doctrine of a Particular Providence. It,
numbers the hairs on our head. The fall of a sparrov;
and the crash of an empire are alike noticed by Hi:J
whose eye is everywhere.
Another: It is known to all the inhabitants of the civ;.
(comparatively speaking) that seventeen summers tbl
yellow  fever prevailed.  I never left the city, aili
nursed among the sick, yet neither 1, my wife, nor a;.-,
of my children ever caught that disease. I had nil'
in family.
I could fill a small volume with like instances, bIl-)
the following may suffice.
In 1798 the yellow fever prevailed to a fearful exte:t
in the city; all fled who were able, or who had frien(ms
in the country to receive them into their houses.
At that period it was customary for masters of indoor trades, as tailors, shoemakers, bookbinders, &c.,
to have all their work done under the same roof wirty
their families, and often to board such of the journeymne j
as were bachelors. In many instances, one or two o r
these young men, who did not wish to leave the cite,
would propose to their employer when he was abomt
shutting up the house: —Leave out stuff, we will worlli,
keep bachelor's-hall, and take care of the house. 1-7
general, this offer was gladly accepted by the employeer.
Butonow came the drawback;-it often happened they
were all seized in one night, and being unable to hell,
one another, in some cases their lifeless bodies were
found before any one knew of their situation. Many
valuable lives were lost by this thoughtless arrangement.




272                APPENDIX.
On Sabbath, September 16th, I was sent for by three
young men, corner of Pine and Front streets, one in
Liberty, near Broadway; and on Monday to three on the
corner of Dover and Water streets-four Scotchmen
and three Americans, all young and esteemed friends.
Not one was able to give a cup of cold water to his
brother in distress. I got doctors, but money could not
procure a nurse. From the 25th of August previous,
I had been among the sick; now my whole time was
spent in these three abodes of death. I had now been
twelve months married to Rebecca, and the time of her
deliverance was at hand. Her mother, who, through
fear of death, was all her life subject to bondage, f7ed.
Rebecca had no fear; her heart was fixed where fear
never enters. At the door of the Methodist Chapel in
John street, I engaged an aged widow, and a mother in
Israel, as a companion to Rebecca while I was absent
among'the sick. They slept in one bed below, I up
stairs, in another. I was out every night in this fatal
week, but they knew it not. Ilad they known it, they
would have prevented my going. On Tuesday, the
18th, two died on the corner of Pine and Front streets;
next day the third died. I saw his corpse put in the
dead-hearse. Now the house was vacant; I locked the
door, went horne with the key, and in six weeks thereafter the owner called and thanked me.
I stated above I slept up stairs. After seeing the
two ladies stowed away snug, kissed both good-night, I
crept to my own berth, read a chapter, listened; all
being quiet, I stepped softly down the back stairs on
my stocking-soles; got in the same way before they
were up in the morning, so they knew it not. Before




APPENDIX.                27 
parting on Friday night I saw symptoms of a crisis. 1
sat on a chair and communed in my heart-am I doinl
my duty to my wife? If trouble comes to-night, theil
is none to call for help, not a neighbor in the block.
My wife and the widow think I am in bed. Should
they call, and receive no answer, what will be the issue.
On the other hand, there lie three dying mortals:
without the cup from my hand they must perish. God
can time her hour, but except by a miracle, they must
die. I rose on my feet with excitement. By some
optical illusion or delusion, or what, I know not, I
saw her Heavenly Father standing in the centre of
my bedroom with outstretched arms, ready to receive
her. With my arms of faith I raised her from the
couch and laid her head on his bosom. "Lord, take
care of her," I mentally exclaimed; and rushed down
stairs. How well he took care of her you will find in
the next page.
That night I spread a mattress on the floor, and
slept in the same room with two sick and one dying
man. I had slept only an hour or two each night that
week: this was Friday. I tied a cord round my wrist,
with the further end to a chair by the sick man's bed;
he pulled the string when wanted. I could not wake
by calling. I thought no more of Rebecca (I had left
her in good hands) till day broke in the morning. At
that hour the eldest patient died (they were three
brothers); at six A. M. I saw his corpse in the hearse;
the other two recovered. The patient in Liberty street
recovered; thus four died of the seven.
At seven A. M. I got home, and found all well; having eat our breakfast with thankful hearts, says I,
12*




974                APPENDIX.
"Rebecca, it is four weeks since I grasped the hammer
or blew the bellows (then I was a wrought-iron nailmaker): I will go to work to put me in sorts, for I am
nearly worn out." I came in to dinner at twelve P. m.
Rebecca was slnlling, comfortable and happy; she
was fixing her ruffles, &c., preparatory for church-this
being on Saturday. While at dinner the door was
opened without knocking, and in stepped Mrs. Hunter.
I started. Says I, " Mrs. IH., are you not afraid to come
in town, the fever is on the increase; you have been
six weeks in the country, and the doctors assert that
people from the country are more liable to infection
than those living in the infected districts?" She replied,
" Whether it's for life or death, I was compelled to come
in. Thinking of Mrs. Thorburn by day, and dreaming
about her by night, I have had no peace in my mind
for the week past." I said we were glad to see her,
and hoped no evil would befall her. And, thank God,
no evil did befall her. She stopped two weeks in my
house, returned to the country in sound health, and so
continued ten years, when she died.
Mrs. Hunter was housekeeper in the family of Charles
Dickinson, an officer of the Revolution, and went
with the family to the country. Dickinson's house was
next to mine, hence the intimacy of Mrs. H. with my
wife. My Methodist widow was the mother of children;
Mrs. H. was a lively widow of forty, and the mother of
three children; thus both qualified to meet the crisis
at hand. MIrs. H. joined issue at the table, I returned
to my anvil, leaving the three matrons in lively conversation. My dwelling was opposite the Post-office,
and my workshop in Liberty street, opposite Little




APPENDX.                 275
Green. I-had not been forty minutes absent from my
dwelling when Mrs. H. stepped in my shop door.
"Run for the doctor, your wife is in sore trouble." He
lived in Park Place; I rang the bell: " Is the doctor
home a?" Said the servant, " He was buried this
morning." I found the door of another, he was in
bed, sick: I stood at a door where dwelt a nurse,
she had fled., I knocked at the door of my dwelling; " Mrs. H.," says I, " I can get no help."  "Fear
not," she replied, "we need no help." We had only
one room, six feet by ten, so there was no room for
me in that inn on the present occasion. I walked
in Nassau street between Liberty and Maiden Lane
about half an hour; it was the 22d of September, sun
set at six; the clock in the Middle Dutch Church
struck the hour; I saw a candle burning in the room;
I knocked. "Walk in," said Mrs. H., with a cheerful
voice, "all is over, and all is well." I opened the
door; in front of the. bed, on a small table, covered
with a napkin, stood a candle burning; on a snowwhite pillow lay the head of Rebecca; on her milkwhite arm lay the head of her son. " Come," she. exclaimed, with one of her sweetest smiles, "and see
what I have brought you." I stood fixed on the threshold for a moment; at one glance I saw that God had
ordered all things well; He held her up till my work
was done. At six A. M., that morning, I buried my
last patient; at six P. M. Rebecca was a mother.
Yours,
GRANT THORBTURN.
P. S. These facts are too good to be lost to the world;




276                APPENDIX.
if doubted, I can prove every one of them; and, as
formerly stated, my present existence is not less wonderful than any there narrated. I owe this debt of
gratitude to God and my fellow-men, and I think it is
my duty to see it paid before I die.
G. T.
THE END.




GRANT THORBURN
IN HIS
GOLDEN AGE.
The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength
they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off,
and we fly away.-PSALII XC. 10.
Containing his last fragments of happy scenes in his life's evening,
previous to his sun setting, in which he still recognizes the hand
of a kind and faithful Benefactor watching over his path.
Hoping these fragments will interest his many kind friends,
he indulges the hope that both writer and reader will be
benefited; for how truly can he testify that he has
been young, but now he's old! " Yet hath he not
seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging
bread;" for Jehovah Jirah is the safe conductor
of his people, through floods and flames, and
all distresses, landing them safely upon the
eternal Rock of Ages.
NEW YORK, OCTOBER, 1853.
CONTENTS.
A ROMANCE IN THORBRN'S LIFE,......................... 278
A VISIT TO JENNY LIND,........................... 282
A TALE OF A TEA-KETTLE,........................... 287
A RARE DoG STORY,........................... 291
T1IiE KING AND HIIS SCOTCH COOK,....................... 295
FOURTH OF JULY, 1794 AND 1849,........................ 299
MERCHANTS OF NEW YORK IN 1774-5,...................     303
TITE FIRST STEAMBOAT,............................ 305
ORIGIN OF THE BATTERY,.............                   308
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1858, by EDWARD WALKER, in
the Clerk's Office of the District Court of New York.
NEW YORK: EDWARD WALKER,
11 FULTON-S~TREP.




278           IIFE AND WRITINGS OF
A ROMANCE IN THORBURN'S LIFE;
OR, LOVE'S STRATAGEMS AT EIGHTY-ONE.
With certain letters, where more is meant than meets the eye.
MR. PRINTER: On the 25th of August, 1852, a call of'
business led me to Wolcottsville, Litchfield County, Connecticut. I was yet seven miles short of my destination. With a guide and a light wagon, I went forward. It was dark: we got lost in the woods. Seeing
a -house by the way-side, says I to the driver, "Hold
the reins, and I will inquire." All was dark in the
house. I knocked at the door. In about a minute, a
window opened in the second story, and a female voice
inquired" Who's there?"' A stranger," says I, " lost in the woods. Let me
lie on the carpet or sofa; I will pay you for your
trouble, and thank you besides."
"I am in bed," she replied.
" Just where all honest folks should be at ten o'clock
at night," I replied.
" But I am all alone," she continued.
"So lmuch the better," says I; "I'll keep you companIy."
"Who are you?"
" Laurie Todd, from New York," I replied.
She smote her hands the one against the other:




GRANT TIIORBURN.               279
" May the Lord preserve me!" she exclaimed.  " Stop
-I'll place a light in the passage, and unlock the door.
You sit in the parlor; I'll be with you in ten minutes."
In five minutes, she entered the parlor, when we first
saw one another face to face. I was hungry, and she
gave me to eat; thirsty, and she gave me to drink; a
stranger, and she took me in. There was neither sleep
to our eyes, nor slumber to our eyelids; and ere the
morning sun had streaked with gold the eastern sky,
we had agreed on the preliminaries of a treaty matrimonial.
Obstacles, apparently insurmountable, soon intervened; but, like other kings, princes, emperors, and
potentates, we courted by proxy, by go-betweens, by
letters, and dumb signs.  By the arrangements. of
Providence, the mountains were removed, without my
intervention. I immediately wrote the following, which
may serve as a pattern to others in like case, made and
provided.
provided.                  NEW YORK, 30Tn MAY, 1853.
DEAR MARIA: The difficulties ire removed. God willing, I will
be in thy house on Friday, the 10th, tell thee all about it on Saturday, marry thee on Sunday, and do as the Lord may direct on
Monday.            Thy true Scotchman,
GRANT.
N. B.-Send for your brother, and make proclamation at 9 A.
i., in the church, and get married at 9 P. M.
It was done in order. I left Peck Slip for Bridgeportat 10 A. M., on Friday, the 10th of June, by steamboat,
railroad, and Yankee wagons. I reached her dwelling at
10 P. M., told her all about it on Saturday, was married
and paid the minister at 9 P. M., on Sunday, the 12th,
which closed the concern. I left her at 11 A. ]M., to




280              LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
gather up the corn-stalks and make other arrangements,
on Tuesday, the 14th, while I went forward to prepare
a roost for my bonny bird. I arrived in New York at
12 P. M., on Wednesday, the 15th, having travelled
stem and stern, hither and thither, near seven hundred
miles; and hence we may infer that Love walks on the
wings of the wind, from eighteen to eighty-one.
My partner is a comely matron of forty (thus meeting
me half way), was five years married, two years a widow, no family, two inches taller, and five pounds heavier
than I; thus I think I have got the best of the bargain:
a lady by birth, education, and refinement; a daughter
of the Puritans, with a mind as pure as was the heart
of our Mother Eve on the day before Lucifer played
the devil with her: in every thing but the song, she is
a second edition of Jenny Lind.  I received the following in a letter from her a few days ago. Having described her person, here you see her heart:
DEAR HUSBAND: I send you this copy of a prayer, from the pen
of Basil Montague. It is very beautiful; and I trust I can adopt
every sentiment in it as my own.
PRAYER.
LoRD, bless and preserve that dear person whom thou hast
chosen to be my husband! Let his life be long and useful, comfortable and holy; and let me also become a great comfort and blessing to him, —a sharer in all his joys, a refreshment in all his sorrows, a meet helper for him in all the accidents and changes of the
world! Make me amiable forever in his eyes, and very dear to
him! Unite his heart to mine in the dearest union of love and holiness, and mine to him in all sweetness, charity, and compliance!
Keep me from all ungentleness, all discontentedness, and unreasonableness of passion or humor, and make me humble and obedient,
useful and observant, that we may delight in each other according




GRANT THORBURN.               281
to thy blessed word and ordinance, and both of us may rejoice in
thee, hlaving our portion in the love. and service of God forever!
Amen.                                      MARIA.
I must confess, Mr. Printer-and I own it before the
world-when I read that prayer, I bowed my knee before the Lord, my Maker: I gave thanks for this unspeakable earthly gift. The skeptic may sneer, and the
fool may laugh-it is but the crackling of thorns under
a pot. For a space, I communed with my own heart,
and was still. With my mind's eye, I saw this comely
matron, of forty summers, in her lonely cottage in Connecticut; one feeble lamp made darkness visible; she
kneels by the sofa; her aspirations ascend to Him who
hears the cry of the humble,-and for whom is she
pleading?  It is for her husband,-and who is her
husband?  He is a small remnant of mortality-her
grandfather in years-whom she vows to nourish and
cherish all the days of his life.
Some coincidences in this romance are worth noting.
On Sabbath, 22d June, 1794, I first entered a place of
worship in America. It was the Old Methodist in
John-street (the first erected by that Society in America). I entered a pew, and sat by the side of her who
became my wife a few months thereafter.
On the 12th June, 1794, at 9 P. M.,. I first saw the
Blue Hills of Jersey, from the ship's deck, fifty miles
at sea. At the same hour and day, in 1853, I was
married to my third partner, by the Methodist minister
at New Hartford, Connecticut, having been proclaimed
in the Methodist church at 9 A. M. Fromn this you
may observe, it was Methodist first and last, and Methodist all round.                GRANT THORBURN.
JUNE, 1853.
24*




282             LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
A VISIT TO JENNY LIND.
HITIIERTO, the time, talents, and conversation of MIiss
Lind have been so much monopolized by the good, the
great, and the noble of the land, that a small mortal
like myself could not so much as see the hem of her
garment. Hearing, that to escape from the heat, noise,
and fashionable crowd of New York, she was removing
to th6 pleasant Heights in Brooklyn, I obtained froin
Mr. Barnum a letter as follows:
NEW YORK, 21ST MAY, 1851.
THE bearer, Mr. Thorburn, is a man of the highest respectability,
-a funny old Scotchman, and an author, &c. Miss Lind will be
pleased to talk with him; he is a very celebrated man, well known
to all the literati; he is wealthy, and don't come begging.
(Signed,)                     P. T. BARNUM.
Armed with this missive, I stood by the door of her
mansion next morning, at 9 A. M. I rang: the servant appeared.
Says I, "This note is for Miss Lind, from Mr. Barnum."
Says he, " She aint up."
" No matter," says I, " the sun's up; she can read
that note in bed. Tell her, if she is willing to see Ine,
I will wait in the parlor till Christmas, if she says so."
[I knew she would not say so; it was only a figure of
speech, to denote the sincerity of my wish.]




GRANT TIIORBURN.            283
The man looked in my face, without moving: I dare
say, he thought I was crazy.
" Go ahead," says I, " and deliver your message."
In two minutes he returned smiling-:"  Miss Lind
says she wont make you wait till Christmas: please
sit in the parlor; she will be with you in ten minutes."
I had never seen Miss Lind. The door opened; I
advanced; she met me with a quick step, both hands
extended. I held her right hand in my left, her left
hand in my right. Approximating as near as common
sense would permit, and looking in her face —'" And
this is Jenny Lind," said I, returning the look, and
advancing a foot.
"And this is Laurie Todd," said she.
She placed a chair in front of the sofa: she sat on
the sofa; I sat on the chair. Thus we looked on one
another, face to face; and thus the language of her
speaking eyes confirmed the words which'dropped
from her lips.
She remarked, she read my history (Laurie Todd),
about three years ago, in Europe; that she thought the
description there given of the baptism of Rebecca was
the most interesting scene she ever read in the English
books. She continued" Can you repeat that scene from memory?"
Says I, " Death only can blot it out."
"Will you oblige me?" she continued.
Says I, " You have seen the painting of the Goddess
of Liberty; that is, the costume which adorned the
persons of the ladies at that period? Her father had
been already dead better than three hundred days; the
dress, therefore, was in half mourning. HIer hat was a




284           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
small black beaver, all the fashion at that time; the
rim turned up on each side, so as to have the ears visible; the hair was in a broad fold, resting between the
shoulders, having the extreine ends fastened with a pin
on the crown: hers was very long, and very-flaxen.
She was clothed in a white garment, fine, neat, and
clean; her neck encircled with a black bracelet, and
around her waist was a black ribbon. The train of her
garment was hanging on her left arm. The thought,
that before another hour the eyes of the whole congregation would be fastened on her alone, brought a faint
blush on the cheek. When she walked up the middle
aisle and sat down, third pew from the pulpit, I thought
I never had beheld any thing half as lovely.
" Lecture being ended, the preacher proclaimed,'Let
the person present herself for baptism.' She walked
to the altar, a tall, slim figure, straight as an Indian
arrow, with a measured step, like a sentry on duty before the tent of his general. While the minister was
binding the vow of God upon her heart, before the
whole congregation, she made the responses with the
same thoughtful composure, as if none but the eye of
Omnipotence was there. While the minister was slowly
descending the fifteen steps which led from the pulpit,
she was untying the strings which held on her hat.
There she stood, her black hat in one hand, a white
muslin'kerchief in the other, her beautiful and neatlyalranged flaxen locks all exposed under a blaze of
light. When the minister dropped the water on her
white transparent brow, she shut her eyes, and turned
her face to Heaven. As the crystal drops rolled down
her blushing cheeks,. I thought her face shone like an




GRANT THORBURN.              285
angel, and I swore ill my heart, if it so willed Heaven,
that nothing but death should part us."
Here Miss Lind stood up with excitelent.  " Stop,
Grant!" she exclaimed, "you ought to have been a
painter; you place Rebecca before me 1"
"And why not?" said I. " Perhaps her ransomed
spirit is hovering over that splendid Bible (pointing to
the centre-table), and smiling to see two kindred spirits
enjoying a foretaste of pleasures so divine."
" I doubt it not," she observed; " for, with Young,
your English poet, I believe that'Friends departed
are angels sent from heaven on errands full of love.'"
" And, with Paul," I added, " they are'ministering
angels, sent to minister to the heirs of salvation.'"
Here we entered invisible space, and soared to worlds
on high. She repeated, with fine pathos, the beautiful
legend current among the peasantry on her native
mountains. It concerned a mother, who, at the dead
watches in every night, visited the beds of her six
motherless babes, covering their little hands, and
smoothing their pillow. It is a beautiful illusion.
We spoke of the especial-care which God takes of
little children; how many instances are recorded in
our weekly journals of children being lost in the woods,
for days, sometimes for weeks, the weather inclement,
thewfeet naked, the clothes scant, yet found unhurt.
They were fed oil manna from heaven, and the angel of
the covenant muzzled the mouths of the ravenous beasts
of prey.
Having read Laurie Todd, she put several explanatory questions about the yellow fever, and other scenes
recorded, &c. On these and similar subjects we con



286           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF'
versed more than an hour without being interlupted.
But the time of my departure was at hand. We rose
simultane6usly; we held each other's hallds; we promised to remember one another at our morning and
evening sacrifice, that God would so prepare our hearts
that we might meet where the assembly never breaks
up, where friendship never ends.
Here the fountain of the great deep was broken up;
a big tear o'erflowed its banks; I caught the infection.
Now, I never saw a tear on a woman's cheek, but I
longed to kiss it from its resting-place; that is to say,
provided the thing was practicable; and whether or
not I reduced this principle into practice on the present
occasion, I can't conceive the sovereign people have
any right to inquire. Be this as it may, at that time
her lips were her own; she had no lord Goldschmidt
to dispute an old man's privilege.
NEW YORK, JULY 22, 1852.




GRANT THORBURN.             287
A  TALE  OF  A  TEA-KETTLE.
ON a winter's evening, nearly one hundred years
ago, the tea-board was laid out, and the window-curtains closely drawn, in the humble parlor of a small
house in the town of Greenock, in the west of Scotland.
A tidy, active matron was bustling about, slicing the
bread and butter: a blazing fire gleamed and roared in
the grate, and curled round the black sides of the kettle which reposed in the midst of it; and the fire
crackled and the water boiled with a faintly-heard popling sunnd, and a stream of white vapor came whizzing
out of the spout of the kettle with a shrill, cheery hiss.
Now, the matron aforesaid saw nothing particular in
all this; kettles had boiled, and fires had burned from
the beginning, and would probably do so to the endsof
the chapter.
As ti* imatron stopped to pour the boiling fluid in
the tea-pot, her son James, a boy of twelve summers,
sat on a low bench in front of the fire, his elbows resting on each knee, while his hands supported his head,
being placed under the chin. The boy was intently
gazing at the fire, the kettle, anid the steam, swallowing
them with his eyes, absorbed in deep thoughts and lost
in contemplation. The boy looked at the fire, and the
mother looked at the boy.
"Was there ever sic an idle, ne'er-do-weel in this




288           LIFE AND WI'TINGS OF
warld as our Jamie?" was the question which almost
unconsciously she proposed to herself.
Mrs. B. stepped in at this moment.
Turning to the visitor, Jamie's mother said, 1" Mrs.
B., did you ever see the likes of our Jamie? Look at
him: he'll sit there for hours, staring at the kettle and
the steam, till you wad think his een wad come out o'
his heed."
And, truth to tell, there was something peculiar in
the glance of the boy's eye. There was mind, active,
speaking mind looking through it. He seemed as
one who gazed upon a wondrous vision, and whose every sense was bound up in the display of gorgeous pageantry floating before him. IHe had sat watching the
escaping steam, until the thin vaporous column had
appeared to cast itself upward in fantastic, changing
shapes: sometimes the subtle fluid, gathering in force
and quantity, would gently raise one side of the lid of
the kettle, emit a white puff, and then let the metal fall
with a low, clanking sound. There was power and
strength in that watery cloud; and as the dreaming
boy saw this, an unbidden thought came upon his
mind, and he knew that the fierce struggle wfs symbolical of intellect warring with the elements.
And still he gazed, and saw in his day-dreams ships
sailing without wind or sails, and wagons propelled
o'er deserts wild by some power unseen to mortal eye.
"Jamie! Jamie!" exclaimed his mother, " sit by to
your tea; if I find ye staring at the fire again, ye'll
feel the- wicht. o' my hand."
The boy rose meekly, and did as he was told. His
name was James Watt, afterwards Sir James.  He




GRANT THORBURN.            289
was honored by the title of knighthood, being the first
who applied the powers of steam to any useful plrpose. Steam has made this old world of ours a new
one. What does it not do for man? It hurries him
across the Atlantic in ten days, and grinds wheat in the
grocer's store; yet this triumph of art and science was
once the laughing-stock of jeering thousands; and once
it was only the waking fantasy of a boy's mind, as he
sat, and in seeming idleness, watched a little column
of vapor rise from the spout of a tea-kettle.
The above anecdote is literally true. Watt was born
in 1736. This incident oQcurred when he was in his
twelfth year. He was the son of a poor tradesman in
Greenock (in Scotland), and probably had never read a
book, the spelling-book and the Bible excepted.
John Brown, the self-taught preacher, the author of
the Bible Dictionary, the Self-interpreting Bible, &c.,
&c., and whose praise is in all the churches, was the
son of a cotter, an orphan in his tenth year, and who
probably never saw a book except the Bible, till he entered his eighteenth year; yet, while tending the sleiep
on the heather hills of Scotland, and without having
seen a college, he confounded the learned Doctors in
Edinburgh, with High Dutch, and Low Dutch, Greek,
Hebrew, and Latin, besides the dead and living languages. His church was near my parish. I often
heard him preach. He died in 1787. I was then in
my fourteenth year-no judge of preaching-but my
father said he was a great preacher; and I thought
then, and I think so now, that my father was the best
judge of preaching in all Scotland.
Burns, Hegg, and other self-taught Scottish lumina13




290           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
ries, whose writings have enlightened and charmed the
world, were all the sons of the Scottish peasantry: most
of them had come to the years of maturity, before they
ever read a book, excepting the Bible, the book which
1nakes men wiser than all their teachers. The sublime,
beautiful, and grand descriptions there given of the
goodness, power, and majesty of God expand and refine the soul. It gathers light from the throne of the
Eternal, and soars in worlds on high.
Now, Mr. Printer, you never read of a self-taught
peasant in all the Pope's dominions, from the day of
Pope Joan down to the present incumbent, Pope Pius
the Ninth. Look at them, as they land on our shores,
from  France, Spain,-Germany, Hungary, Italy, Ireland, and other-lands of Popish darkness. Our jails,
penitentiaries, State-prisons, and alms-houses are heaped
full and running over with them. But this day, comparatively speaking, there.is not a Scotchman in one of
them. It is the Bible that makes them to differ. I
would not exchange being a Scotchman, to be the emperd of all the Russias, with his crowns, lands, and
royalties; for I think (and I have as good a right to
think as any pope, cardinal, or freethinker in the world)
that the national moral character of Scotland will stand
an unanswerable argument against all the sophistry of
Deism, as long as woods grow and waters run; for
Scotland is emuphatically the land of Bibles, and there
the'inhabitants lead quiet and peaceful lives, in all
godliness and honesty.




GRANT THORBURN.            291
A RARE DOG STORY.
IN 1792-I was then in my nineteenth year-and
well remember the circumstance:
A gentleman, whose country-seat stood within six
miles of my "' cottage on the moor," kept a fine'mastiff
dog. By day, he was chained up near the house; by
night, he was loose to range through the garden and
incloguret,- a terror to evil-doers, but kindly affected to
all such as do well. Now, whether it was natural instinct (for wolves are only wild dogs), or whether he
had received some real or supposed affront from the
sheep fraternity, I never could learn: for though the
dog had a language of his own, and in which he conversed very fluently at times, yet I must confess, I could
better understand the language -of his eyes (dogs have
very expressive eyes), than the language of his lips.
Be this as it may, one morning he was accused of hav
ing murdered two of a neighbor's sheep. His master,
unwilling to take up an evil report against his faithful
watch-dog, had the trial postponed to Monday next, as'they say in court. On the following night, however,
another murder was committed. This time the fact
was too clear to admit a doubl. Hero was brought in
guilty, not by a verdict of his peers, but by a convention of two-legged animals, who were too dull to appre
ciate his motives, and too blind to sympathize with him




292           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
under the circumstances; neither had they courtesy to.
ask, as has been the custom in all civilized communities,
ever since the days of Haman, who, himself, was strung
up fifty cubits, if he had any objection to make against
being hung, but straightway they proceeded to execution. His master, while a tear crossed his eye-ball,
says, "John, get a stout piece of rope. Hang Hero
behind the barn, so as not to be seen from the house."
Having spoke thus, he entered his dwelling. Hero
heard his sentence with the same philosophic indifference that I have heard some two-legged animals receive theirs in the Hall of Justice in the Park. He
never opened his mouth; but, thinks he, there will be
a long respite between the sentence and the hangingday. So, without speaking a word, he cleared a stonefence five feet high. O'er hills and dales, o'er fields
and floods he flew, as with the wings:of the wind.'He
never drew up till he entered a city of refuge: here the
avenger of blood dared not to enter.
You have read in that book, for which all other
books were made, a man drew a bow at a venture: the
unerring eye of Omnipotence became pilot to that shaft; it
entered between the joints of his armor, and the proud
monarch sunk dead in his chariot. The same unerring
eye directed the flight of this dog to the spot, where,
after an absence of nearly seven years, he was the
means of saving the life of his master, as you will see
in the sequel.
It came. to pass, when nearly seven years had expired
since the fright and flight of Hero (no doubt the poor
dog was scared enough, when he heard the order for
immediate execution), that his late master was sojourn



GRANT THORBURN.             293
ing on the borders of Scotland and England. It was
winter, and dark in that climate at 5 P. M. He put
up at a tavern by the wayside. As soon as he dismounted, and went in the stable to see that his horse
was cared for, he was followed by a large mastiff dog,
who, by every means that a dog could invent, endeavored to draw his attention. The gentleman sat down
in the hall, the dog by his side, when he began to think
there was something strange in the dog's attentions and
manner. He put his hand on the head of the dog,
and spoke kindly. The dog encouraged, laid his paw
on his master's knee, and looked earnestly in his face.
Recollections arose in the memory of the master, and
he exclaimed, in surprise, " Why, Hero, are you here?"
Hero was so pleased at the recognition, that he almost
leaped on his master's back. Whether the landlord
was informed of the merits of the case, or not, my informant did not say. At any rate, Hero and his master were never separate from that hour. Hero followed
his' master in the bedroom, when, seeing him about to
undress, he seized the skirt of his coat with his teeth,
and drew his master towards a closet. On opening the
door, he discovered the corpse of a man, suspended
against the wall. He saw his danger, anid made preparations accordingly. This matter occurred shortly after
the return of the army from America, after the war for
Independence. Many of the disbanded soldiers took
to-robbing on the highways, and gentlemen always
travblled well armed. He saw that his four pistols were
in right trim, piled every thing movable in the room
against the door, and sat down to wait the result. At
midnight, there was a knock at the door: a vial of
25X




294:          LIFE AND WRITINGS'OF
medicine which was standing on the mantel-piece was
wanted for one of the family, who was taken suddenly
ill. Hero growled, as if to say, " There are two of us."
Mr. Morton (which ws the gentleman's name) informed the assailant he was prepared with fire-arms,
and would shoot the first man that entered. Presently,
he distinguished the voices of three men, when, after
some further parley, an axe was sept for to break in
the door. At this critical moment, the sound of carriage-wheels was heard from afar; the robbers paused;
Mr. H. thrust his head out of the window, and as the
carriage approached, hallooed at the top of his voice.
They heard his cries, and stopped, when the robbers
fled by the back door. There were four men in the
carriage.  They secured three women, whom  they
found in the house, and lodged them in jail. By their
information, the men were caught soon after, tried, and
hung. The women were banished to Botany Bay for
life.
On searching the house, several corpses were found
buried in the cellar; and in the rooms many articles
identified that belonged to persons who had disappeared, and were never heard of till this occurrence.
Hero went home.with his master, and was a happy
dog many years thereafter, when.he died and was
buried. A stone, recording the Providential deliverance, was set up over his bones, and his portrait hung
in the hall, with the family escutcheons.
The story was published in the newspapers and periodicals of that day, all over Britain, as a fact beyond
controversy.
OcTOBE, 1851.




GRANT THORBURN.             295
THE KING AND HIS SCOTCH COOK.
THE witty Earl of Roche.ter being in company with
King'Charles II.,.his queen, the chaplain, and some
ministers of state, after they had been discoursing on
business, the king suddenly exclaimed: "Let our
thoughts be unbended from the cares of state, and'give
us a generous glass of wine,'that cheereth,' as the
Scripture saith,'God and man."' The queen, hearing
this, modestly said she thought there could be no such
text in the Scriptures, and that it was but little else
than blasphemy. The king replied that he was not
prepared to turn to chapter and verse; but was sure he
had met with it in his Scripture reading. The chaplain was applied to, and he was of the queen's opinion.
Rochester, suspecting the king to be right, slipped
out of the room to inquire for a Bible [a pretty king,
by the grace of God, and defender of the faith, and a
pretty chaplain to a king, that could not muster a Bible
between them] among the servants. None of them
could read but David, the Scotch cook; and he, they'
said, always carried a Bible about him. David being
called, recollected both the text and where to find it.'Rochester told David to be in waiting, and returned to
the-king. This text was still the subject of conversation; and Rochester proposed to call in David, who,he
said, was well acquainted with the Scriptures. David




296          LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
was called, and being asked the question, produced his
Bible and read the text. It was from the parable of
the trees of the wood going forth to appoint a king
over them,-.Judges, 9th chapter, and 13th verse.
"And the vine said unto them, Should I leave my
wine, which cheereth God and man, and go to be promoted over the trees?" The king smiled, the queen
asked pardon, the chaplain blushed. Rochester then
asked this doctor of divinity if he could interpret the
text, now it was produced. The chaplain was mute.
The earl therefore applied to David for the exposition.
The' cook immediately replied: "How much wine
cheereth man-looking Rochester in his eyes-your.lordship knoweth [no doubt David had seen him fou
a dozen times]; and that it cheereth God, I beg leave to
say, that under the Old Testament dispensation, there
were meat-offerings and drink-offerings: the latter consisted of wine, which was typical of the blood of the
Mediator, which, by a metaphor, was said to cheer
God, as he was well pleased in the way of salvation
that he had appointed, whereby his justice was satisfied, his law fulfilled, his mercy reigned, his grace triumphed, all his perfections harmonized, the sinner was
saved, and God in Christ glorified."
The king looked astonished; the queen shed tears;
Rochester, after some very severe reflections upon the
chaplain, gravely moved that his majesty would be
pleased to send the chaplain into the kitchen to turn
cook, and that he would make this cook his chaplain.
Now, by w'ay of conclusion to this historical fact, I will
only remark that this same cook is a true specimen of
what the Scottish peasantry are at this present day.




GRANT THORBURN.             297
Few -of them learni' more at school than to read'jpe
Bible and write their own name; but the beautiful and
sublime language in which the narrative is conveyed,.
the true and concise descriptions of men and matter,
&c., make those whose Bible was their school-book, and
who make it their companion by the way, to be wiser
than their teachers. HIence, in the heather hills amorng
the shepherds, and in the lowlands among the ploughmen of Scotland, you will find thousands deeply read
in almost every science and language. They are the
most profound engineers, the most scientific gardeners
and botanists, the most learned physicians, surgeons,
and anatomists, learned, independent, and conscientious
preachers of righteousness; and by them the Gospel is
preached to the poor.
Now, Mr. Printer, I challenge all the popes, from
the days of Miss Pope Joan the First down to the
present incumbent, to produce as many Bibles in any
country under the sun, of the same dimensions, as are
to be found In Scotland. It is, therefore, a fair inference, that the Bible alone makes them to differ fiom
the restless Frenchman, the ferocious Spaniard, the
German serf, the Russian boor, and other white slaves
in Europe. The Goddess of Liberty, when sent from
above, was nourished and cherished in the Bible shops
of America.
The present policy of the crowned heads in Europe,
popes, priests, and cardinals, is to blot the name of
Republic from the earth. No Bible, no Republic, is
their watchword. Hence, when they see a Bible in
the hand of a white slave, they tremble on their
thrones.




298            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
The Church of Rme, always tlie. right-hand agent
of tyrants, is now in the full tide of successful experiment to drive the Bible from our schools, colleges, and
firesides: this accomplished, the Republic dies.
JANUARY 1, 1858.




LIFE AND WRITINGS OF           299
FOURTH OF JULY, 1794 AND 1849.
THIS day, Mr. Printer, completes fifty-five celebrations which I have witnessed in America. Being a
holiday (pity it is not kept more holy), and not liking
your spells of sunshine in July quite as well as I do in
January, I thought I would sit down in my cool store
and note down a few abstract, incoherent, and unconnected ideas that were floating in my brain, as the
smoke rose curling from my pipe.  By-the-by, Mr.
Printer, them glirapses of sunshine with which the columns of your paper have been illuminated for some
days past, must come from the pen of a ifaster of Arts,
not by diploma from Princeton in the Jerseys, but from
the college of Him who is the author of every good and
perfect gift: he ought to be a preacher.'When I look on our country to-day, and compare it
with what it was fifty-five years ago (I was then in my
twenty-second year), I feel as if I could join the festive
throng at the Pavilion and sing the one-hundred and
third psalm, first part, till sundown. I suppose now,
some one of the cod-fish democracy (see his portrait in
Hart's bookstore window in King-street, near George),
will smile at the words, our country. " Why," says he,
" Laurie is a true Scotchman, frae the gude toon o'
Edenburg."  Well now, my college-bred friend, I hope
you don't infer from this, that if a man is born in a




300           LITE AND WRITINGS OF
sFrable, he therefore must of necessity be nothing but a
horse; besides, when W ASHINGTON was president, I was
naturalized, and I have married two American girls,
which I think is of itself being naturalized enough, in
all conscience; besides, Dr. McFungus, or some such
unsavory name, half a century ago, delivered an oration in New York, before twelve doctors of law, physic,
and divinity, together with some tens of scores of the
swinish multitude, wherein he proved to his own satisfaction, that by a certain process of evaporation, man
changed his system every seven years-therefore, I
must have evaporated into thin air fifty years ago.
The celebration of the Fourth in New York, in 1794,
was a very meager affair: the population about fiftyfive thousand. No uniform military companies had
been commissioned at this period, and only three or
four different branches of mechanic societies turned
out; but I saw on that day what will never be seen
again-a company of thirty old mencalled veterans by
way of distinction. They had with theml a field-piece
and flag, under which they had fought for independence: they wore the old tattered uniform, and some
of them the three-cornered cocked hat, which oft they
had touched while giving Washington the passing
or marching salute. Some of them had been with
Washington, in that winter march to or from Valley
Forge, when the army being without shoes, the ice and
snow were stained by the blood from their wounded
feet. Hard was the lot of these honest men. The
country was poor, and unable to support those who had
lost limbs, health, and property in the service of their
country; and, still worse, when in 1801, the pure de



GRANT THORBURN.             301
mocracy (with Aaron Burr at their head) got into
power, most of these officers and soldiers were turned
out, to- make room for a host of political favorites who
had never done the country a service.
Thank God, the lines are fallen to us in more pleasant
times; and if every man would mind his own business,
not interfering in the concerns of his neighbors, we
would be the happiest people under the sun. Therefore, Father Garretson and Madam Folsom, you may
cook your Irish potatoes by white slaves, and let the
South cook their sweet Carolinas by black slaves; then
eat without asking any questions. Thus may brothel4y
love continue, as your parson prays.
P. S.-Yesterday, while viewing the splendid military array of caps, helmets, plumes, swords, and scimeters, with drums, trumpets, and other well-stringed
instruments in all the pride and circumstance of war,
I thought of my thirty poor veterans whom I had seen
that day fifty-five years ago. No bugle sounded in front,
nor tinkling cymbals in their rear: a solitary Ethiop];an
was pounding on the calf-skin, while another most manfully was squeaking on a fife to the tune of " Yankee
Doodle."  No matter, the hearts of those patriots leaped
with joy; for they had heard that same drum beat when
the charge was led by Washington.
~At that timne no man read an American book, and
no man looked on an American coin. French crowns,
Spanish dollars, halves, quarters, and eighths, New
York Corporation paper bills, twelve, six, three, two.
and one penny, constituted our circulating medium
Now we have gold-dust thrown in our eyes, while we
are struck to the ground with -lumps of pure yellow,




302            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
weighing seven pounds, seven ounces; our copper,
silver, and golden eagles are soaring above the clouds;
the gold of Ophir is pouring into the lap of the Goddess of
Liberty, and American funds are the safest investment
in the world: we have food for ourselves, and to feed
the world, and gather up seven baskets of fragments
besides. Therefore, let us be thankful,
CHIAILEeTON, JULY 5, 1849.




GRANT THORBURN.             303
MERCHANTS OF NEW  YORK IN 1774-75.
" —-- the race of yore —
How they are blotted from the things that be 1"
GENTLrEMEN: In compliance with the request of your
venerable correspondent, "An Old Merchant" (in the
Home Journal of the 5th inst.), I inclose the list referred
to. I believe it is correct. The other incongruities
which he notices in my former epistle, I hope to explain to his satisfaction in my next.
Yours,
GRANT THORBURN.
A LIST OF ALL THE IMPORTING MERCHANTS OF NEW YORK
DURING 1774-75-FROM THE CUSTOM-HOUSE BOOKS.
Garnets Abeel, Joseph Blackwell, Samuel James,
Robert and George Bonne, Thomas and Walter Buchanan, William Butler, Samuel and John Broome,
James Beekman, Joseph Bull, Derick Brinckerhoof,
Everet Brancker, Richard Brancker, D. Beekman,
Benjamin Booth, Garrett Beekmans, father and son,
Henry Brevoort, Gerardus Beekman, Everet Byvanck,
Isaac Corsa, Cornelius and Peter Cloper, Peter T. Curtenius, Elias and James Desbrossus, William Downing,
Abraham Duryee, Gerardus Dinking, Thomas Ellison,
Walter, John, Samuel, James, and Thomas Franklin,
Edward Gould, George Folloitt, Gilbert Forbes, E.




304           LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
Graham, Patrick Gorlet, James Hallet, Nicholas Hofman, Andrew Hammersley, Henry Hydock, Ebenezer
Hazard, Jacob Leroy, James Lefferts, Francis Lewis,
G. H. Ludlow, W. Ludlow, Isaac Low, Nicholas Low,
George Ludlow, Philip Livingston, Edward Laight,
Robert Murrey, James Morton, Chas. McEvers, Thomas
Moore, Peter Messier, William Nelson, Garret Noel,
Jeremiah Platt, Daniel Phoenix, James Parsons, Thomas
Pearsall, Lewis Pintard, J. J. Roosevelt, Alexander
Robinson & Co., Henry Remsen, Thomas Randall,
John Reade, Richard, John, and Samuel Ray, Isaac
Sears, Comfort Sands, Christopher Smith, Solomon
Simpson, James Seagrove, Oliver Templeton, William
W. Stick, Henry Van Vleek, Patrick Vandevoort,
Jacob Van Voorhis, Samuel Verplank, Jacobus Van
Zant, Anthony Van Dam, John Vanderbelt, Hubert
Van Wagner, Henry White, Hugh Wallace, John
Watts, Jacob Watson, Alexander Wallace, Richard
Yates, Hambelton Young,-103.
All dead —" Man giveth up the ghost, and where is
he?" Their sons came to honor, they knew it not;
they were brought low, but they perceived it not of
them.
Comfort Sands was the last survivor of the above
list of Importing Merchants. Mr. Joshua Waddington
was the last survivor of the old New York merchants,
but his name is not among the list of importers in 1775.
Conversing with Mr. Waddington, some twenty years
ago, he remarked (if my memory serves me right), that
he first saw New York in 1784 or 5; but it matters
not when or from whence he came-he was a gentleman
in full.




GRANT T1HOBURN.             305
THE FIRST STEAMBOAT.
CHEAP ENOUGH.- Soon after the first steamboat was
built on Lake Erie, the "Walk in the Water," commanded by Captain Rogers, we took passage in that
boat from Buffalo to Detroit. If our recollection is
right, the price of passage was then $14, and we heard
of no complaint. Now, as we observe by the Detroit
Advertiser of the 13th instant, there is a strong opposition between the steamboats running between that city
and Buffalo. The "Julia Palmer" left on Tuesday
last for Buffalo, with a large number of passengers,
charging only TWENTY-FIVE CENTS, including berths and
board. As a farther inducement for passengers, a band
of music was engaged for their amusement. It will be
recollected that the distance between Detroit and Buffalo is about three hundred miles.
It may be interesting to some of our subscribers to
look back a few years, and see what was said concerning the first successful effort at steam navigation on the
Hudson-the commencement of that vast enterprise
which has added so largely to the wealth, not only of
the United States, but of the whole civilized world.
We copy the following from the Picturesque Tourist, a
work just published in this city:
26*




.306            LIFE AND WRITINGS OF
Copy of an advertisement takenfrom the Albany Gazette, dated
September, 1807.
The North River steamboat will leave Pauler's Hook
ferry (now Jersey City), on Friday, the 4th of September, at 9 in the morning, and arrive at Albany on Saturday, at 9 in the afternoon. Provisions, good berths,
and accommodations are provided.
The charge to each passenger is as follows:
To Newburgh, -        -  $3,00.   Time 14 hours.
" Poughkeepsie,   -   -   4,00.     " 17  "
" Esodpus,    -   -   -   5,00.         20  "
" Hudson,'   -            5,50.     " 30  "
" Albany,   -   -   -   7,00.       " 86 3
For places apply to Wm. Vandervoort, No. 48 Courtlandt-street, on the corner of Greenwich-street.
SEPTEMBERP 2, 1807.
Extractfrom the New York Evening Post, dated Oct. 2, 1807.
Mr. Fulton's new invented steamboat, which is fitted
up in a neat style for passengers, and is intended to run
from New York to Albany as a packet, left here this
morning with ninety passengers, against a strong head
wind.   Notwithstanding which, it was judged she
moved through the water at the rate of six miles an
hour.
Extract from the Albany Gazette, dated Oct. 5, 1807.
Friday, Oct. 2, 1807, the steamboat Clrmont left New
York, at 10 o'clock, A. M., against stormy tide, very
rough water; and a violent gale from the North. She




GRANT THORBURN.            307
made a headway beyond the most sanguine expectations, and without being rocked by the waves.
Arrived at Albany Oct. 4, at 10 o'clock, P. ]M.,
being detained by being obliged to come to anchor,
owing to a gale, andshaving one of her paddle-wheels
torn away by running foul of a sloop.
NOTE. —It is stated on the authority of Captain E. S.
Bunker, that the Clermont, or " experiment boat,)' as
sometimes called, the first steamboat constructed under
the direction and superintendence of Robert Fulton, in
1807, was one hundred feet long, twelve feet wide, and
seven feet deep. In 1808 she was lengthened to one
hundred and fifty feet, widened to eighteen feet, and
had her name changed to " North River." The engine
was constructed in England, by Watt & Bolton, and
brought to New York in December, 1806, by Mr. Fulton. The hull of the boat was constructed by David
Brown, an eminent shipbuilder in New York. In August, 1807, the boat was propelled by steam from the
East River to the Jersey shore; and on the 2d of October following she started on her first trip to Albany.
Forty years since, Robert Fulton requested of Congress the use of the Hall of- the House of Representatives, to deliver an address on the use of steam for propelling boats but was refused-the assembled wisdom
of the nation deeming the idea too absurd for the consideration of reasonable men.




308        LIFE] AND WRITINGS OF, ETC.
ORIGIN OF THE BATTERY.
"KAPsm POINT," pronounced by the -old Knickerbockers   COopsy," was th4 original name of this famous promenade, according to iDunlap and other writers. The old bayside walk, however, was probably
where State-street now runs; and the first filling-in
was during King William's time, when the half-moon,
known as "Leisler's Battery," was constructed. Of
this there is the following notice in Sparks' "American
Biography:"
"The next act of Leisler was to write a private letter
with his own hand to the king, giving him an account.
of every thing that had been done, describing the
present state of affairs and future.prospects of the
province; stating the repairs he had deemed necessary
to commence in the fortification of the city, and detailing the consequent expenditures of the public money
that he bad found. Among other things, he told the
king that, foreseeing the war with France that must
ensue from William's accession to the throne of England, he had, for the protection of the army against the
enemy's cruisers, erected a new battery of six guns to
the south of the fort. From that battery, the Anoble
promenade which the city of New York thus incidentally owes to Leisler, derives its name."
FINI.