V A N I T Y F A I t. Nouvel wittlout a ejro. BY WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY Ct] RD lustratfons b tte Outhor. NEW YORK: HARPER & BROTHERS, -PUBLISHERS, 329 & 331 PEARL STREET, FRANKLIN SQUARE.) BEFORE THE CURTAIN. As the Mayiager of the Performance sits before the curtain on the boards and looks into the Fair, a feeling of profound melancholy comes over him in his survey of the bustling place. There is a great quantity of eating and drinking, making love and jilting, laughing and the contrary, smoking, cheating, fighting, dancing, and fiddling: there are bullies pushing about, bucks ogling the women, knaves picking pockets, policemen on the look-out, quacks (other quacks, plague take them!) bawling in front of their booths, and yokels kboking up at the tinseled dancers and poor old rouged tumblers, while the light-fingered folk are operating upon their pockets behind. Yes, this is VANITY FAIR; not a moral place certainly; nor a merry one, though very noisy. Look at the faces of the actors and buffoons when they come off from their business; and Tom Fool washing the paint off his cheeks before he sits down to dinner -with his wife and the little Jack Puddings behind the canvas. The curtain will be up presently, and he will be turning over head and heels, and crying, "How are you I" A man with a reflective turn of mind, walking through an exhibition of this sort, will not be oppressed, I take it, by his own or other people's hilarity. An episode of humor or kindness touches and amuses him here and there; a pretty child looking at a gingerbread stall; a pretty girl blushing while her lover talks to her and chooses her fairing; poor Tom Fool, yonder behind the wagon, mumbling his bone with the honest family which lives by his tumbling; but the general impression is one more melancholy than mirthful. When you come home, you sit down, in a sober, contemplative, not uncharitable frame of mind, and apply yourself to your books or your business. I have no other moral than this to tag to the present story of "Vanity Fair." Some people consider Fairs immoral altogether, and eschew such, with their servants and families: perhaps they are right. But persons who think otherwise and are of a lazy, or a benevolent, or a sarcastic mood, max perhaps like to step in for half an hour and look at the performances. There are scenes of all sorts; some dreadful combats, some grand and lofty horseriding, some scenes of high life, and some of very middling indeed; s6me ri BEFORE THE CURTAIN. love-making for the sentimental, and some light comic business: the whole accompanied by appropriate scenery, and brilliantly illuminated with the Author's own candles. What more has the manager of the Performance to say — To acknowledge the kindness with which it has been received in all the principal towns of England through which the Show has passed, and where it has been most favorably noticed by the respected conductors of the Public Press, and by the Nobility and Gentry. He is proud to think that his Puppets have given satisfaction to the very best company in this empire. The famous little Becky Puppet has been pronounced to be uncommonly flexible in the joints, and lively on the wire: the Amelia Doll, though it has had a smaller circle of admirers, has yet been carved and dressed with the greatest care by the artist: the Dobbin Figure, though apparently clumsy, yet dances in a very amusing and natural manner: the Little Boys' Dance has been liked by some; and please to remark the richly dressed figure of the Wicked Nobleman on which no expense has been spared, and which Old Nick will fetch away at the end of this singular performance. And with this, and a profound bow to his patrons, the Manager retires, and the curtain rises. IONPri, Jnae, 1848. CONTENTS. 1.-CHISWICK MALL -.-.,,-_-_-_ —-, —--- _-_-_-__-_-_-_ —,, _,_,_, 9 2.-IN WHICH MISS SHARP AND MISS SEDLEY PREPARE TO OPEN THE CAMPAIG,........... 12 3. —REBECCA IS IN PRESENCE OF THE ENEMY..................... 4.-THE GREEN SILK PURSE.........................................-......., 15 5.-DOBBIN OF OURS.................................................................. 25 6.-VAUXHALL........................................................................ 30 7.-CRAWLEY OF QUEEN'S CRAWLEY................................................. 36 8.-PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL.,.. —. _.-.................................. 39 9.-FAMILY PORTRAITS. _._._....... —.... -....... 43 ]0.-MISS SHARP BEGINS TO MAKE FRIENDS....................................... 47 11. —ARCADIAN SIMPLICITY....................................................... 49 12. —QUITE A SENTIMENTAL CHAPTER..........................._..............-......... 56 3 — SENTIMENTAL AND OTHERWISE................................................. 60 14.-MISS CRAWLEY AT HOME..... -- _5._................. 65 15.-IN WHICH REBECCA'S HUSBAND APPEARS FOR A SHORT TIEj.. ~. v73 16.-THE LETTER ON THE PINCUSHION....................................- - - -77 17.-HOW CAPTAIN DOBBIN BOUGHT A PIANO........................................ 81 18.-WHO PLAYED ON THE PIANO CAPTAIN DOBBIN BOUGHT?- 85 19. —MISS CRAWLEY AT NURSE................ 90 20.-IN WHICH CAPTAIN DOBBIN ACTS AS THE MESSENGER OF HYMEN.-.. __............... 95 21.-A QUARREL ABOUT AN HEIRESS............................................... 99 22.-A MARRIAGE AND PART OF A HONEYMOON........................................ 103 23. —CAPTAIN DOBBIN PROCEEDS ON HIS CANVASS.......... -.... —---—.-_-_-_-. 107 24. —IN WHICH MR. OSBORNE TAKES DOWN THE FAMILY BIBLE........................... 110 25.-IN WHICH ALL THE PRINCIPAL PERSONAGES THINK FIT TO LEAVE BRIGHTON - 116 26.-BETWEEN LONDON AND CHATHAM............................A..-.......-...... 124 27.-IN WHICH AMELIA JOINS HER REGIMENT............................................ 128 28. —IN WHICH AMELIA INVADES THE LOW COUNTRIES.................................... 131 29.-BRUSSELS 135 30.-" THE GIRL I LEFT BEHIND ME"... i..........-.-. -,;. 141 31.-IN WHICH JOS SEDLEY TAKES CARE OF HIS SISTER........................ 14 32. —IN WHICH JOS TAXES FLIGHT, AND THE WAR IS BROUGHT TO A CLOSE............... 150 33.-IN WHICH MISS CRAWLEY'S RELATIONS ARE VERY ANXIOUS ABOUT HER 158 34.-JAMES CRAWLEY'S PIPE fS PUT OUT................................................. 163 35.-WIDOW AND MOTHER.-..-.-........ —------------------------ 170 36. —HOW TO LIVE WELL ON NOTHING A YEAR.......................................... 175 37.-THE SUBJECT CONTINUED -................. 179 38.-A FAMILY IN A VERY SMALL WAY...-..-.-. 185 39.-A CYNICAL CHAPTER................................................... 192 40. —IN WHICH BECKY IS RECOGNIZED BY THE FAMILY......... 196 41.-IN WHICH BECKY REVISITS THE HALLS OF HER ANCESTORS -20....0.................. 00 viii CONTENTS. CHAP PAGI 42.-WHIICH TREATS OF THE.OSBORNE FAMILY.........-................................. 205 43.-IN WHICH THE READER HAS TO DOUBLE THE CAPE.................................. 209 44.-A ROUNDABOUT CHAPTER BETWEEN LONDON AND HAMPSHIRE..-.._.__-.._.._........ 213 45.-BETWEEN HAMPSHIRE AND LONDON -------------------.-,__...._-.._ 217 46.-STRUGGLES AND TRIALS- 221 47.-GAUNT HOUSE........................................................ 225 48.-IN WHICH THE READER IS INTRODUCED TO THE VERY BEST OF COMPANY............. 229 49.-IN WHICH WE ENJOY THREE COURSES AND A DESSERT............................... 234 50. —CJNTAINS A VULGAR INCIDENT...................................................... 237 51.-IN WHICH A CHARADE IS ACTED WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT PUZZLE THE READER...... 241 52. —IN WHICH LORD STEYNE SHOWS HIMSELF IN A MOST AMIABLE LIGHT - -.-. —----—,,- 250 53.-A RESCUE AND A CATASTROPHE....................................-.... 54 54.-SUNDAY AFTER THE BATTLE........................................................ 258 55.-IN WHICH THE SAME SUBJECT IS PURSUED.......................................... 62 56.-GEORGY IS MADE A GENTLEMAN..................................................... 269 57 — EOTHEN........................................................................ 274 58.-OUR FRIEND THE MAJOR................................. 278 59.-THE OLD PIANO................................................................... 283 60.-RETURNS TO THE GENTEEL WORLD................................................. 288 61.-IN WHICH TWO LIGHTS ARE PUT OUT.............................................. 291 62.-AM RHEIN _ _____............................................................ 297 63. —w WHICH WE MEET AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE......................................... 302 64.-A VAGABOND CHAPTER............................................................. 307 65.-FULL OF BUSINESS AND PLEASURE........,,,,,,,,,,,,. 315 66.-AMANTIUM IRS................................................................... 318 67 -WHICH CONTAINS BIRTHSo MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS...........................1..... 5 VANITY FAIR. & NOVEL WITIIOUT A HERO. CHAPTER I. seal this billet which I have written to his lady." In Miss Jemima's eyes an autograph letWHILE the present century was in its ter of her sister, Miss Pinkerton, was an teens, and on one sun-shiny morning in object of as deep veneration, as would have June, there drove up to the great iron gate been a letter from a sovereign. Only when of Miss Pinkerton's academy for young her pupils quitted the establishment,. or ladies, on Chiswick Mall, a large family when they were about to be married, and coach, with two fat horses in blazing har- once, when poor Miss Birch died of the scarness, driven by a fat coachman in a three- let fever, was Miss Pinkerton known to write cornered hat and wig, at the rate of four personally to the parents of her pupils;and miles an hour. A black servant, who re- it was Jemima's opinion that if any thing posed on the box beside the fat coachman, could console Mrs. Birch for her daughter's uncurledlhTlarady legs as soon as the equi- loss, it would be that pious and eloquent page drew up opposite Miss Pinkerton's composition in which Miss Pinkerton anshining brass plate, and as he pulled the nounced the event. bell, at least a score of young heads were In the present instance Miss Pinkerton's seen peering out of the narrow windows of " billet" was to the following effect:the stately old brick house. Nay, the acute observer might have recognized the little "The Mall, Chiswick. June 15. 18-. red nose of good-natured Miss Jemima "MADAM Pinkerton herself, rising over some geranium-pots in the window of that lady's own "After her six years' residence at the drawing-room. Mall, I have the honor and happiness of " It is Mrs. Sedley's coach, sister," said presenting Miss Amelia Sedley to her parMiss Jemima. "' Sambo, the black servant, ents, as a young lady not unworthy to ochas just rung the bell; and the coachman cupy a fitting position in their polished and has a new red waistcoat." refined circle. Those virtues which char",Have you completed all the necessary actefize the young English gentlewoman; preparations incident to Miss Sedley's de- those accomplishments which become her parture, Miss Jemima?" asked Miss Pink- birth and station, will not be found wanting erton herself, that majestic lady: the Sem- in the amiable Miss Sedley, whose industry iramis of Hammersmith, the friend of Doc- and obedience have endeared her to her in tor Johnson, the- correspondent of Mrs. structors, and whose delightful sweetness Chapone herself. of temper has charmed her aged and her " The girls were up at four this morn- youthful companions. ing, packing her trunks, sister," replied "In music, in dancing, in orthography, Miss Jemima; we have made her a bow- in every variety of embroidery and needlepot." work, she will be found to have realized her " Say a bouquet, sister Jemima,'tis more, friends'fondest wishes. In geography there genteel." is still much to be desired; and a careful "Well, a bosky as big almost as a hay- and undeviating use of the'backboard, for stack; I have put up two bottles of the four hours daily during the next three years, gilly-flower-water for Mrs. Sedley, and the is recommended as necessary to the acreceipt for making it, in Amelia's box." quirement of that dignified deportment and "And I trust, Miss Jemima, you have carriage, so requisite for every young lady made a copy of Miss Sedley's account. offashion. This is it, is it? Very goodi-ninety-three 1 "In the principles of religion and moralpounds, four shillings. Be kind enough to ity, Miss Sedley will be found worthy of an address it to Johp Sedley, Esquire, and to establishment which has been honored by 10 VANITY FAIR. the presence of The Great Lexicographer, Although schoolmistresses' letters are to and the patronage of the admirable Mrs. be trusted no more nor less than churchChapone. In leaving the Mall, Miss Ame- yard epitaphs; yet, as it sometimes haplia carries with her the hearts of her cornm- pens that a person departs this life, who is panions, and the affectionate regards of her really deserving of all the praises the stonemistresS, who has the honor to subscribe cutter carves over his bones; who is a good herself, Christian, a good parent, child, wife or hus"' Madam, band; who actually does leave a disconsolate "Your most obliged humble servant, family to mourn his loss.; so in academies "BARBARA PINKERTON. of the male and female sex it occurs every now and then, that the pupil is fully worthy Sedley. It is pShticuarrly requested that of the praises bestowed by the disinterested Miss Sharp's sftr in Russell Square may nstructor. Now, Miss Amelia Sedley was not exceed ten days. The family of dis- a young lady of this singular species, and tinction with whom she is engaged, desire deserved not only all that Miss Pinkerton tinction with whom she is engaged, desire said in her praise, but had many charming to avail themselves of her services as soon sid in her praise, but had many charming ~~as possible." ~qualities which that pompous old Minerva of a woman could not see, from the differThis letter completed, Miss Pinkerton ences of rank and age between her pupil proceeded to write her own name, and Miss and herself. Sedle's, in the fly-leaf of a Johnson's Dic- For she could not only sing like a lark, or tionary-the interesting work which she in- a Miss Billington, and dance like Hillisberg variably presented to her scholars,, on their or Parisot; and embroider beautifully; and departure from the Mall. One'thW cover speil as' well as the Dixonary itself; but she was ietarted a copy of'" Lines addressgd to had such a kindly, smiling, tender, gentle, A -iig" lady on quitting Miss Pinkerton's generous heart of her own, as won the love school, at the Mall; by the late revered of every body who came near her, from Doctor Samuel Johnson." In fact, the Minerva herself down to the poor girl in Lexicographer's name was always on the the scullery, and the one-eyed tartwoman's lips,fo this majestic woman, and a visit he daughter, who was permitted to vend her had paid to her was the cause of her repu- wares once a week to the young ladies in tation and her fortune. the Mall. She had twelve intimate and Being commanded by her elder sister to bosom friends out of the twenty-four young get l"the Dictionary" from the cupboard, ladies. Even envious Miss Briggs never Miss Jemima had extracted two copies of spoke ill of her: high and mighty M4iss Salthe book from the receptacle in question. tire (Lord Dexter's grand-daughter) allowed When Miss Pinkerton had finished the in- that her figure was genteel: and as for Miss scription in the first, Jemima, with rather a Swartz, the rich woolly-haired mulatto from dubious and timid air, handed her the sec- St. Kitt's, on the day Amelia went away, end. she was in such a passion of tears, that they "For whom is this, Miss Jemima?" said were obliged to send for Dr. Floss, and half Miss Pinkerton, with awful coldness. tipsify her with sal volatile. Miss Pinker" For Becky Sharp," answered Jemima, ton's attachment was as may be supposed,:trembling very much, and blushing over her from the high position and eminent virtues'withered face and neck, as she turned her of that lady, calm and dignified; but Miss back on her sister. - "4For Becky Sharp: Jemima had already blubbered several times she's going too." at the idea of Amelia's departure; and, but " MISS JEMIMA!" exclaimed Miss for fear of her sister, would have gone off Pinkerton, in the largest capitals. " Are in downright hysterics, like the heiress (who you in your senses? Replace the Dixonary paid double) of St. Kitt's. Such luxury of in the closet, and never venture to take such grief, however, is only allowed to parlora liberty in future." boarders. Honest Jemima had all the bills, "Well, sister, it's only two-and-nine- and the washing, and the mending, and the pence, and poor Becky will be miserable if puddings, and the plate and crockery, and she don't get one." the servants to superintend. But why speak "Send Miss Sedley instantly to me," said about her-? It is probable that we shall not Miss Pinkerton. And so, venturing not to hear of her again from this moment to the say another word, poor Jemima trotted off, end of time, and that when the great filligree exceedingly flurried and nervous.,iron gates are once closed on her, she and Miss Sedlyfs papa was a merchant in hl'awful sister will never issue therefrom London, and a man of some wealth; where- into this little world of history. as Miss Sharp was an'articled pupil, for But as we are to see a great deal of Ame-,whom Miss Pinkerton had done, as she ia, there is no harm int saying at the outset thought, quite enough, without conferring of our ac-quaintance, that she was one of thQ upon her, at parting, the high honor of the best and flearest creatures that ever lived; Dixonary. and agrat mercy it is, loth in life and in A N'OVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 11 novels, which (and the latter especially) small and weather-beaten old cow's skin abound in villains of the most somber sort, trunk, with Miss Sharp's card neatly nailed that we are to have for a constant cornm- upon it, which was delivered by Sambo with panion, so guileless and good-natured a per- a grin, and packed by the coachman with son. As she is not a heroine, there is no a corresponding sneer-the hour for parting need to describe her person; indeed 1 am came; and the grief of that moment was afraid that her nose was rather short than considerably lessened by the admirable disotherwise,, and her cheeks a great deal too course which Miss Pinkerton addressed to round and red for a heroine; but her face her pupil. Not that the parting speech blushed with rosy health, and her lips with caused Amelia to philosophize, or that it the freshest of smiles, and she had a pair of armed her in any way with a calmness, the eyes, which sparkled with the brightest and result of argument; but it was intolerably honestest good-humor, except, indeed, when dull, pompous, and tedious; and having the they filled with tears, and that was a great fear of her schoolmistress greatly before her deal too often; for the silly thing would cry eyes, Miss Sedley did not venture, in her over a dead canary-bird, or over a mouse, presence, to give way to any ebullitions of that the cat haply had seized upon, or over private grief. A -seed-cake and a bottle of the end of a novel, were it ever so stupid; wine were produced-in the drawing-room, and as for saying an unkind word to her, as on the solemn occasions of the visit of were any one hard-hearted enough to do parents, and these refreshments being parso-why, so much the worse for them. taken of, Miss Sedley was at liberty to deEven Miss Pinkerton, that austere and god- part. like-woman, ceased scolding her after the "You'll go in and say good by to Miss first time, and though she no more compre- Pinkerton, Becky?" said Miss Jemima to a hended sensibility than she did Algebra, young lady of whom nobody took any notq'e, gave all masters and teachers particular and who was coming down stairs with her. orders to treat Miss Sedley with the utmost own bandbox. gentleness, as harsh treatment was injuri- "I suppose I must," said Miss Sharp, eous to her. calmly, and much to the wonder of Miss So that when the day of departure came, Jemima; and the latter, having knocked at between her two customs of laughing and the door, and receiving permission to come crying, Miss Sedley was greatly puzzled how in, Miss Sharp advanced in a very unconto act. She was glad to go home, and yet cerned manner, and said in French, and most wofully sad at leaving school. For with a perfect accent. "Mademoiselle, je taree days before, little Laura Martin, the viens vous faire mes adilhx." orphan, followed her about like a little dog. "Miss Pinkerton di not understand She had to make and receive at least four- French; she only directed those who did: teen presents-to make fourteen solemn but biting her lips, and throwing up her venpromises of writing every week: "Send erable and Roman-nosed head (on the top my letters under cover to my grandpapa, the of which figured a large and solemn turban), Earl of Dexter," said Miss Saltire (who, by she said, " Miss Sharp, I wish you a good the wa wawas rather shabby): "Never mind morning." As the Hammersmith Semirathe postage, but write evePy day, you dear mis spoke, she waved one hand both by way darling," said the impetuous and woolly- of adieu, and to give Miss Sharp an opporheaded, but generous and affectionate Miss tunity of shaking one of the fingers of the Swartz; and little Laura Martin, (who was hand which was left out for that purpose. just in round hand) took her friend's hand, Miss Sharp only folded her own hands and said, looking up in her face wistfully, with a very frigid smile and bow, and quite "AAmelia, when I write to you, I shall call declined to accept the proffered honor; on you Mamnma." All which details, I have which Semiramis tossed up her turban more no doubt, Jones, who reads this book at his indignantly than ever. In fact, it was a little Club, will pronounce to be excessively fool- battle between the young lady:and the old ish, trivial, twaddling, and ultra-sentimental. one, and the latter was worsted. " Heaven Yes; I can see Jones at this minute (rather bless you, my child," said she, embracing flushed with his joint of mutton and half- Amelia, and scowling the while over the pint of wine), taking out his pencil and girl's shoulder at Miss Sharp. " Come scoring under the words "foolish, twad- away, Becky," said Miss Jemima, pulling dling," &c., and adding to them his own re- the young woman away in great alarm, and mark of " quite true." Well, he is a lofty the drawing-room door closed upon them man of genius, and admires the great and forever. heroic in life and novels; and so had better Then came the struggle and parting betake warning and go elsewhere. low. Words refuse to tell it. All the serv"Well, then. The flowers, and the pres- ants were there in the hall-all the dear ents, anid the trunks, and bonnet-boxes of friends-all the young ladies-the dancingMiss Sedley having been arranged by Ir. master whobhad just arrived; and there was Sambo in the carriage, together with a very such a scuffling, and hugging, and kissing VANITY FAIR. and crying, with the hysterical yoops of fifty years in the course of that evening Miss Swartz, the parlor-boarder, from her Dr. Raine and his rod wvere just as awful to room, as no pen can depict, and as the ten- him in his heart, then, at sixty-eight, as they der heart would fain pass over. The em- had been at thirteen. If the Doctor, with a oracing was over; they parted-that is, Miss large birch, had appeared bodily to him, even Sedley parted from her friends. Miss Sharp at the age of threescore and eight, and had had demurely entered the carriage some said, in an awful voice, "Boy, take down minutes before. Nobody cried for leaving your pant.....?" Well, well, Miss Sedher. ley was exceedingly alarmed at this act of inSambo of the bandy-legs slammed the subordination. carriage-door on his young, weeping mis- "How could you do so, Rebecca?" at last tress. He sprang up behind the carriage. she said,. after a pause. " Stop!" cried Miss Jemima, rushing to the " Why, do you think Miss Pinkerton will gate with a parcel. come out and order me back to the blai "It's some sandwiches, my dear," said hole?" said Rebecca, laughing. she to Amelia. "You may be hungry, you "No: but —" know; and Becky, Becky Sharp, here's a'1 hate the whole house," continued Miss book for you that my sister-that is, I- Sharp, in a fury. " I hope I may never set Johnson's Dixonary, you know; you mustn't eyes on it again. I wish itwere in the botleave'us without that. Good by. Drive tom of the Thames, I do; and if Miss Pinkon, coachman. God bless you!" erton were there, I wouldn't pick her out, And the kind creature retreated into the that I wouldn't. 0, how I should like to see garden, overcome with emotions. her floating in the water yonder, turban and But, lo! and just as the coach drove off, all, with her train streaming after her, and Miss Sharp put her pale face out of the win- her nose like the beak of a wherry." dow, and actually flung the book back intd "Hush!" cried Miss Sedley. the garden. "Why, will the black footman tell tales?" This almost caused Jemima to faint with cried Miss Rebecca, laughing. "He may terror. " Well, I never"-said she-" what go back and tell Miss Pinkerton that I hate an audacious"-Emotion prevented her from her with all my soul; and I wish he would; completing either sentence. The carriage and I wish I had a means of proving it, too. rolled away; the great gates were closed; For two years I have only had insults and the bell rang for the dancing lesson. The outrage from her. I have been treated world is before the two young ladies; and worse than any servant in the kitchen. I so. farewell to Chiswick Mall. have never had a friend or a kind word, except firom you. I have been made to tend the little girls in the lower schoo. suom, and to talk French to the Misses, until I grew CHAPTER II. sick of my mother tongue. But that talking French to Miss Pinkerton was capital fun, wasn't it? She doesn't know a word of French, and was too proud to confess it. I WIIHEN Miss Sharp had performed the believe it was that which made her part with heroical act mentioned in the last chapter, me; and so thank Heaven for French. Vive and had seen the Dixonary flying over the la France! Vive l'Emjpereur! Vive Bonapavement of the little garden, fall at length parte!" at the feet of the astonished Miss Jemima, "Oh, Rebecca, Rebecca, for shame!" the young lady's countenance, which had cried Miss Sedley; for this was the greatest before worn an almost livid look of hatred, blasphemy Rebecca had as yet uttered; and assumed a smile that perhaps was scarcely in those days, in England, to say, "Long more agreeable, and she sank back in the live Bonaparte!" was as much as to say, carriage in an easy frame of mind, saying- "Long live Lucifer!" "How can you-' So much for the Dixonary; and, thank how dare you have such wicked, revengeful'Ood, I'm out of Chiswick?" thoughts?" Miss Sedley was almost as flurried at the " Revenge may be wicked, but it's natuact of defiance as Miss Jemima had been; ral," answered Miss Rebecca. "I'm no for, consider, it was but one minute that she angel." And, to say the truth, she-certainly had left school, and the impressions of six was not. years are not got over in that space of time. For it may be remarked in the course of Nay, with some persons, those awes and this conversation (which took place as the terrors of youth last forever and ever. I coach rolled along lazily by the river side), know, for instance, anold gentleman of sixty- that though Miss Rebecca Sharp has twice eight, who said to me one morning at break- had occasion to thank Heaven, it has been, fast, with a very agitated countenance, "I in the first place, for ridding her of some dreamed last night that I was flogged by Dr. person whom she hatedIand secondly, for raine." Fancy had carried him back only enabling her to bring her enemies to some r i rjJ \.t — I r 6 I 3 1 ra -f;~ P 1,1` \ lil/ j c \\ -t — - iii! ii I/j: rlI' Iirri! r I''''' ii'' i~rt: g iiTI: r, \r~ (!I i I r r zt: I;j7in cf n j ~;;t rr I I 1 i(illl~o,~j(I1 i t51 II C\I LJ1P I ii I \1. i: I i i.e rI i PINkE D.TG F' jt i i i -=hn ZZ it tilll /L ~~ " 3,._ -aLi lit L I; t J ii' I;(!il(j ir II I L I iiiii l'ir ilill I i iI I in! P —--' 1~ jiI I. i,-~ ItI L~r~ rI r;B i t -- "% P'' -— -- r I'; ~ wEsEcca'Y FBHEWELL (plPI A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 13 sort of perplexity or confusion; neither of It was in those days rather a rare acc0onwhich are very amiable motives for religious plishment, and led to her engagement with gratitude, or such as would be put forward the orthodox Miss Pinkerton. For, her by persons of a kind and placable disposition. mother being dead, and her father finding Miss Rebecca was not, then, in the least, himself not likely to recover, after his third kind or placable. All the world used her ill, attack of delirium tremens, wrote a manly said this young misanthropist (or misogynist, and pathetic letter to Miss Pinkerton, recfor of the world of. men she can be pro- omrmending the orphan child to her protecnounced as yet to have had but little expe- tion, and so descended to the grave, after rience), and we may be pretty certain, that two bailiffs had quareled over his corpse.,the persons of either sex whom all the world Rebecca was seventeen when she came to treats ill, deserve entirely the treatment they Chiswick, and was bound over as an articled get. The world is a looking-glass, and gives pupil, her duties being to talk French, as we back to every man the reflection of his own have seen, and her privileges to live cost face. Frown at it, and it will in turn look firee; and, with a few guineas a year, to sourly upon you: laugh at it and with it, and gather scraps of knowledge from the professit is a jolly, kind companion; and so let all ors who attended the school. young persons take their choice. This is She was small and slight in person; pale, certain, that if the world neglected Miss sandy-haired, and with eyes habitually cast Sharp, the never was known to have done a down: when they looked up they were very good action in behalf of any body; nor can it large, odd, and attractive; so attractive, that be expected that twenty-four young ladies the Reverend Mr. Crisp, firesh from Oxford, should all be as amiable as the heroine of and curate to the Vicar of Chiswick, the this woak, Miss Sedley (whom we have Reverend Mr. Flowerdew, fell in love with selected for the very reason that she was Miss Sharp; being shot dead by a glance of the best-natured of all, otherwise, what on her eyes, which was fired all the way across earth was to have prevented us firom putting Chiswick Church from the school-pew to the up Miss Swartz, or Miss Crump, or Miss reading-desk. This infatuated young man Hopkins, as heroine in her place?); it could used sometimes to take tea with Miss Pinknot be expected that every one should be of erton, to whom he had been presented by the humble and gentle temper of Miss Ame- his mamma, and actually proposed something lia Sedley; should take every opportunity like marriage in an intercepted note, which to vanquish Rebecca's hard-heartedness and the one-eyed applewoman was charged to ill-humor; and, by a thousand kind words deliver. Mrs. Crisp was summoned from and offices, overcome, for once at least, her Buxton, and abruptly carried off her darling hostility to her kind. boy; but the idea, even, of such an eagle in the Chiswick dovecot caused a great flutter Miss Sharp's father was an artist, and in in the breast of Miss Pinkerton, who would that quality had given lessons cf drawing at have sent away Miss Sharp, but that she Miss Pinkerton's school. He was a clever was bound to her under a forfeit, and who man; a pleasant companion; a careless stu- never could thoroughly believe the young dent; had a great propensity for running lady's protestations that she had never exinto debt, and a partiality for the tavern. changed a single word with Mr. Crisp, exWhen he was drunk, he used to beat his cept under her own, eyes on the two occawife and daughter; and the next morning, sions when she had met him at tea. with a headache, he used to rail at the By the side of many tall and bouncing world for its neglect of his genius, and abuse, voung ladies in the establishment, Rebecca with a good deal of cleverness, and some- $harp looked like a child. But she had the times with perfect reason, the fools, his dismal precocity of poverty. Many a dun brother painters. As it was with the ut- had she talked to, and turned away from her most difficulty that he could keep himself, father's door; many a tradesman had she and as he owed money for a mile round coaxed and wheedled into good humor, and Soho, where he lived, he thought to better into the granting of one meal more.' She his circumstances by marrying a young sate commonly with her father, who was woman of the French nation, who was by very proud of her wit, and heard the talk profession an opera-girl. The humble calling of many of his wild companions-often but of her-female parent, Miss Sharp never al- ill suited for a girl to hear. But she never luded to, but used to state subsequently that had been a girl, she said; she had been a the Entrechats were a noble family of Gas- woman since she was eight years old. Oh, cony, and took great pride in her descent why did Miss Pinkerton let such a dangerfrom them. And curious it is, that as she ous bird into her cage? advanced in life this young lady's ancestors The fact is, the old lady thought Rebecca increasId in rank and splendor. to be the meekest creature in the world, so Rebecca's mother had had some educa- admirably, on the occasions when her father tion somewhere,.. d her daughter spoke brought her to Chiswick, used Rebecca to French with puri 7Wr7and a Parisian accent. perform the part oftheingenue. She thought 14 VANITY FAIR. he a modest and innocent little child; and and not one was sorry that she went away. only a year before the arrangement by which The gentle, tender-hearted Amnelia Sedley Rebecca had been admitted into her house, was the only person to whom she could atand when Rebecca was sixteen years old, tach herself in the least; and who could help Miss Pinkerton majestically, and with a lit- attaching herself to Amelia'! tle speech, made her a present of a doll- The happiness-the superior advantages which was, by the way, the confiscated prop- of the young women round about her, gave erty of Miss Swindle, discovered surrepti- Rebeccainexpressible pangsof envy. "What tiously nursing it in school-hours. How the airs that girl gives herself, because she is an father and daughter laughed as they trudged earl's granddaughter," she said of one. "How home together after the evening party (it they cringe and bow to that Creole, because was on the occasion of the speeches, when of her hundred thousand pounds! I am a all the professors were invited), and how thousand times cleverer and more charming Miss Pinkerton would have raged had she than that creature, for all her wealth. I seen the caricature of herself which the am as well bred as the earl's granddaughter, little mimic, Rebecca, managed to make out for all her fine pedigree; and yet every one of her doll! She used to go through dia- passes me by here. And yet, when I was'ogues with it; it formed the delight of at my father's did not the men give up their Newman-street, Gerard-street, and the art- gayest balls and parties in order to pass the ists' quarter: and the young painters, when evening with me?" She deterlmined at any they came to take their gin-and-water with rate, to get fiee from the prison in which their lazy, dissolute, clever, jovial senior, she found herself, and now began to act for used regularly to ask Rebecca if Miss Pink- herself, and for the first time to make con erton was at home: she was as well known nected plans for the future. to them, poor soul! as Mr. Lawrence or She took advantage, therefore, of the President West. Once she had the honor means of study the place offered her; and to pass a -fq days at Chiswick; after which as she was already a musician and a good she brought back Jemima, and erected anoth- linguist, she speedily went through the little er doll as Miss Jemmy; for though that hon- course of study which was considered necesest creature had made and given her jelly sary for ladies in those days. Her music and cake enough for three children, and a she practiced incessantly, and one day, when seven-shilling piece at parting, the girl's the girls were out, and she had remained at sense of ridicule was far stronger than her home, she was overheard to play a piece so gratitude, and she sacrificed Miss Jemmy well, that Minerva thought wisely, she could quite as pitilessly as her sister. spare herself the expense of a master for The catastrophe came, and she wasbrought the juniors, and intimated to Miss Sharp to the Mall as to her home. The rigid form- that she was to instruct them in music for ality of the place suffocated her: the pray- the future. ers and the meals, the lessons and the walks, The girl refused; and for the first time, which were arranged with a conventual reg- and to the astonishment of the majestic ularity, oppressed her almost beyond en- mistress of the school. "I am here to speak durance: and she looked back to the free- French with the children," Rebecca said dom and the beggary of the, old studio in abruptly, "not to teach them' music, and Soho with so much regret, that every body, save money for you. Give me money, and herself included, fancied she was consumed I will teach them." with grief for her father. She had a little Minerva was obliged to yield, and, of room in the garret, where the maids heard course, disliked her from that day. "For her walking and sobbing at night; but it was five-and-thirty years," she said, and with with rage, and not with grief. She had not great justice, "I never have seen the indibeen much of a dissembler, until now her vidual who has dared in my own house to loneliness taught her to feign. She had question my authority. I have nourished a never mingled in the society of women: her viper in my bosom." father, reprobate as he was, was a man of " A viper-a fiddlestick," said Miss Sharp talent; his conversation was a thousand to the old lady, almost fainting with astontimes more agreeable to her than the talk ishment. "You took me because I was of such of her own sex as she now encount- useful. There is no question of gratitude ered. The pompous vanity of the old school- between us. I hate this place, and want to mistress, the foolish good humor of her sis- Jeave it. I will do nothing here but what I Jter, the silly chat and scandal of the elder am obliged to do." girls, and the frigid correctness of the gov- It was in vain that the old lady asked her ernesses, equally annoyed her; and she had if she was aware she was speaking to Miss no soft, maternal heart, this unlucky girl, Pinkerton? Rebecca laughed in her face, otherwise the prattle and talk of the young- with a horrid sarcastic demoniacal laughter, er children, with whose care she was chiefly that almost sent the schoolmistress into fits. intrusted, might have soothed and interested "Give me a sum of money," said the girl, her; but she li ed among them two years, "and get rid of ine- -6f you like better, A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO 15 get me a good place as governess in a noble- a great deal of conversation had taken place man's family-you can do so if you please." about the drawing-room, and whether or AiPJ in their further disnutes she always re- not young ladies wore powder as well as turned to this point, "Get me a situation- hoops when presented, and whether she we hate each other, and I am ready to go." was to have that honor; to the lord mayor's Worthy Miss Pinkerton, although she ball she knew she was to go. And when at had a Roman nose and a turban, and was as length home was reached, Miss Amelia Sedtall as a grenadier, and had been up to this ley skipped out Gn Sambo's arm, as happy time an irresistible princess, had no will or and as handsome a girl as any in the whole strength like that of her little apprentice, big city of London. Both he and coachman and in vain did battle against her, and tried agreed on this point, and so did her father to overawe her. Attempting once to scold and mother, and so did every one of the her in public, Rebecca hit upon the be- servants in the house, as they stood bobbing, fore-mentioned plan of answering her in and courtesying, and smiling, in the hall, to French, which quite routed the old woman. welcome their young mistress. In order to maintain authority in her school, You may be sure that she showed Reit became necessary to remove this rebel, becca over every room of the house, and this monster, this serpent, this firebrand; every thing in every one of her drawers, and hearing about this time that Sir Pitt and her books, and her piano, and her Crawley's family was in want of a governess, dresses, and all her necklaces, brooches, she actually recommended Miss Sharp for laces, and gimcracks. She insisted upon the situation, firebrand and serpent that she Rebecca accepting the white cornelian and was. "I can not, certainly," she said, "find the turquoise rings, and a sweet sprigged fault with Miss Sharp's conduct except to muslin, which was too small for her now, myself; and must allow that her talents and though it would fit her friend to a nicety; accomplishments are of a high order. As and she determined in her heart to ask her far as the head goes, at least, she does credit mother's permhsion: to present her white to the educational system pursued at my es- Cashmere shawl to her friend. Could she tablishment." not spare it? and had not her brother Joseph And so the schoolmistress reconciled the just brought her two from India? recommendation to her conscience, and the When Rebecca saw the two magnificent indentures were canceled, and the appren- Cashmere shawls which Joseph Sedley had tice was free. The battle here described in brought- home to his sister, she said, with a few lines. of course, lasted for some months. perfect truth, " that it must be delightful to And as Miss Sedley, being now seventeen have a brother," and easily got the pity of years of age, was about to leave school, and the tender-hearted Amelia, for being alone had a friendship for Miss Sharp ("'tis the in the world, an orphan without friends or only point in Amelia's behavior," said Miner- kindred. va, " which has not been satisfactory to her "Not alone," said Amelia, "you know, mistress"), Miss Sharp was invited by her Rebecca, I shall always be your friend, and friend to pass a week with her at home, be- love you as a sister-indeed I will." fore she entered upon her duties as govern- "Ah, but to have parents, as you haveess in a private family. kind, rich, affectionate parents, who give you Thus the world began for these two young every thing you ask for; and their love, ladies. For Amelia it was quite a new, which is more precious than all! My poor fresh, brllliant world, with all the bloom papa could give me nothing, and I had but upon it. It was not quite a new one for Re- two frocks in all the world! And then, to beoca-(indeed, if the truth must be told have a brother, a dear brother! Oh, how with respect to the Crisp affair, the tart- you must love him!" woman hinted to somebody who took an af- Amelia laughed. fidavit of the fact to somebody else, that "What! don't you love him? you, who there was a great deal more than was made say you love every body?" public regarding Mr. Crisp and Miss Sharp, Yes, of course, I do-only-" and that his letter was in answer to another "Only what?" letter). But who can tell you the real truth "Only Joseph doesn't seem to care much of the matter? At all events, if Rebecca whether I love him or not. He gave me was not beginning the world, she was begin- two fingers to shake when he arrived after ning it over again. ten years' absence! He is very kind and By the time the young ladies reached good, but he scarcely ever speaks to me; I Kensington turnpike, Amelia had not forgot- think he loves his pipe a great deal better ten her companions, but had dried her tears, than his...." but here Amelia checked and had blushed very much and been de- herself, for why sho~uld she speak ill of her lighted at a young officer of the Horse brother? "He was very kind to me as a Guards, who spied her as he was riding by, child," she added; " I was but five years and said, "A dem fine gal, egad!" and be- old when he went away." fore the carriage arrived in Russell-square, "Isn't he very rich?" said Rebecca. 16 VANITY FAIR. "They say all Indian nabobs are enormous- "It's only your sister, Joseph," said Amely rich." lia, laughing and shaking the two fingers " I believe he has a very large income." which he held out. -' I've come horna jbr " And is your sister-in-law a nice, pretty good, you know; and this is my friend, Miss woman?" Sharp, whom you have heard me menl"La! Joseph is not married," said Ame- tion.",ia, laughing again. "No, never, upon my word," said the Perhaps she had mentioned the fact al- head under the neckcloth, shaking very ready to Rebecca, but that young lady did much —" that is, yes-what abominably cold d t appear to have remembered it; indeed, weather, Miss;"-and herewith he fell to vowed and protested that she expected to poking the fire with all his might, although see a number of Amelia's nephews and it was in the middle of June. nieces. She was quite disappointed that "He's very handsome," Whispered ReMr. Sedley was not married; she was sure becca to Amelia, rather loud. Amelia had said he was, and she doted so 1 Do you think so?" said the latter, "I'll on little children. tell him." " I think you must have had enough of "Darling! not for worlds," said Miss them at Chiswick," said Amelia, rather Sharp, starting back as timid as a fawn. wondering at the sudden tenderness on her She had previously made a respectful virginfriend's part; and, indeed, in later days like courtesy to the gentleman, and her modMiss Sharp would never have committed est eyes gazed so perseveringly on the carherself so far as to advance opinions, the un- pet that it was a wonder how she should truth of which would have been so easily de- have found an opportunity to see him. tected. But we must remember that she is "Thank you for the beautiful shawls, but nineteep as yet, unused to the art of de- brother," said Amelia to the fire-poker. ceiving, poor innocent creature! and making "Are they not beautiful, Rebecca?" her own experience in her own person. "O heavenly!" said Miss Sharp, and her The meaning of the above series of queries, eyes went from the carpet straight to the as translated in the heart of this ingenious chandelier. young woman, was simply this: "If Mr. Joseph still continued a huge clattering at Joseph Sedley is rich and unmarried, why the poker and tongs, puffing and blowing the should I not marry him? I have only a fort- while, and turning as red as his yellow face night, to be sure, but there is no harm in would allow him. "I can't make you such trying." And she determined within her- hanoisome presents, Joseph," continued his self to make this laudable attempt. She re- sister, "but while I was at school, I have doubled her caresses to Amelia; she kissed embroidered for you a very beautiful pail the white cornelian necklace as she put it of braces." on; and vowed she would never, never part " Good Gad! Amelia," cried the brother, with it. When the dinner-bell rang she in serious alarm, "what do you mean?' went down stairs with her arm round her and plunging with all his might at the bell friend's waist, as is the habit of young ladies. rope, that article of furniture came away in She was so agitated at the drawing-room his hand, and increased the honest fellow's door, that she could hardly find courage to confusion. "For heaven's sake see if my enter. "'Feel my heart, howit beats, dear!" buggy's at the door. I can't wait. I must said she to her friend. go. D- that groom of mine. I must go. " No, it doesn't," said Amelia. " Come At this minute the father of the family in, don't be frightened. Papa won't do you walked in, rattling his seals like a true Brit.any harm." ish merchant. "What's the matter, Emmy?" says he. " Joseph wants me to see if his-his buggy is at the door. What is a buggy, papa?" CHAPTER III. " It is a one-horse palanquin," said the old gentleman, who was a wag in his way. REBECCA IS IN PRESENCE OF THE ENEMY. Joseph at this burst out into a wild fit of laughter; in which, encountering the eye A very stout, puffy man, in buckskins and of Miss Sharp, he stopped all of a sudden, Hessian boots, with several immense neck- as if he had been shot. cloths, that rose almost to his nose, with a 1" This young lady is your friend? Miss red striped waistcoat and an apple green Sharp, I am very happy to see you. Have coat with steel buttons almost as large as you and Emmy been quarreling already with crown pieces (it was the morning costume Joseph, that he'wants to be off?" of a dandy or blood of those days), was read- "' I promised Bonamy, of our service, sir,' ing the paper by the fire when the two girls said Joseph, " to dine with him." entered, and bounced off his arm-chair, and " O fie! didn't you tell your mother you blushed excessively, and hid his entire face would dine here?" almost in his neckeloths at this apparition. "But in this dress it's impossible " A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 17,4 Look at him, isn't he handsome enough imagination; she had, besides, read the to dine any where, Miss Sharp?" "Arabian Nights" and- "Guthrie's GeograOn which, of course, Miss Sharp looked phy," and it is a fact, that while she was at her friend, and they both set off in a fit dressing for dinner, and after she had asked of laughter, highly agreeable to the old gen- Amelia whether her brother was very rich, tleman. she had built for herself a most magnificent "' Did you ever see a pair of buckskins like castle in the air, of which she was mistress, those, at Miss Pinkerton's?" continued he, with a husband somewhere in the backfollowing up his advantage. ground (she had not seen him as yet, and "Gracious heavens! Father," cried Jo- his figure would not therefore be very disseph. tinct); she had arrayed herself in an infinity "There now, I have hurt his feelings. of shawls, turbans, and diamond necklaces, Mrs. Sedley, my dear, I have hurt your and had mounted upon an elephant to the son's feelings. I have alluded to his buck- sound of the march in Bluebeard, in order to skins. Ask Miss Sharp if I haven't? Come, pay a visit of ceremony to the Grand Mogul. Joseph, be friends with Miss Sharp, and let Charming Alnaschar visions! it is the happy us all go to dinner." privilege of youth to construct you, and "There's a pillau, Joseph, just as you like many a fanciful young creature besides Reit, and papa has brought home the best turbot becca Sharp,.has indulged in these delightin Billingsgate." ful day-dreams ere now! 6" Come, come, sir, walk down stairs with Joseph Sedley was twelve years older Miss Sharp, and I will follow with these than his sister Amelia. He was in the East two young women," said the father, and he India Company's Civil Service, and his name took an arm of wife and daughter and walked appeared, at the period of which we write, merrily off. in the Bengal division of the East'India Register, as collector of 3oggley Wollah, an If Miss Rebecca Sharp had determined honolrable and lucrative post, as every body in her heart upon making the conquest of knows: in order to know to what higher this big beau, I don't think, ladies, we have posts Joseph rose in the service, the reader any right to blame her; for though the task is referred to the same periodical. of husband-hunting is generally, and with Boggley Wollah-is situated in a fine, lonely.' becoming modesty, intrusted by young per- marshy, jungly district, famous for snipesons to their mammas, recollect that Miss shooting, and where not unfrequently you Sharp had no kind parent to arrange these may flush a tiger. Ramgunge,'where there delicate matters for her, and that if she did is a magistrate, is only forty miles oft; and not get a husband for herself, there was no there is a cavalry station about thirty miles one else in the wide world who would take farther; -o Joseph wrote home to his pathe trouble off her hands. What causes rents, when he took possession of his colyoung people to "come out," but the noble lectorship. He had lived for about eight ambition of matrimony? What sends them years of his life, quite alone, at this charmtrooping to watering-places? What keeps ing place, scarcely seeing a Christian face, them dancing till five o'clock in the morning except twice a year, when the detachment through a whole mortal season? What arrived to carry off the revenues which he causes them to labor at piano-forte sonatas, had collected, to Calcutta. and to learn four'songs from a fashionable Luckily, at this time he caught a liver master at a guinea a lesson, and to play the complaint, for the cure of which he retutbd harp if they have handsome arms and neat to Europe, and which was the source of elbows, and tQ wear Lincoln Green toxo- great comfort and amusement to him in his pholite hats and feathers, but that they may native country. He did not live with his bring down some'"desirable" young man family while in London, but had lodgings of' with those killing bows and arrows of theirs? his own, like a gay young bachelor. Before What causes respectable parents to take Up he went to India he was too young to partheir carpets, set their houses topsy-turvy, take of the delightful pleasures of a man and spend a fifth of their year's income in about town, and plunged into them, on his ball suppers and iced champagne? Is it return, with considerable assiduity. He sheer love of their species, and an unadul- drove his horses in the park; he dined at terated wish to see young people happy and the fashionable taverns (for the Oriental dancing? Psha! they want to marry their Club was not as yet invented); he frae daughters; and, as honest Mrs. Sedley has, quented the theaters, as the mode wqps in in the depths of her kind heart, already those days, or made his appearance dr. he arranged a score of little schemes for the opera, laboriously attired in tights,...J a settlement of her Amelia, so also had our cocked hat. beloved but unprotected Rebecca, deter- On returning to India, and ever after, he mined to do her very best to secure the used to talk of the pleasure-of this period of husband, who w-azs:~yen more necessary for his existence with greet enthusiasm, and her than for ber;:end. She had a vivid give you to understaed that he and BruinB 18 VANITY FAIR. mel Were the leading bucks of the day. mind. "Does she really think I am handBut he was as lonely here as in his jungle at some?" thought he,'" or is she only making Boggley Wollah. He scarcely knew a sin- game of me?" WVe have talked of Joseph gle soul in the metropolis: and were it not Sedley being as vain as a girl. Heaven help for his doctor, and the society of his blue- us! the girls have only to turn the tables, pill, and his liver complaint, he must have and say of one of their own sex, "She is as died of loneliness. He was lazy, peevish, vain as a man," and they will have perfect and a bon-vivant; the appearance of a lady reason. The bearded creatures are quite frightened him beyond measure; hence it as eager for praise, quite as finikin over their was but seldom that he joined the paternal toilets, quite as proud of their personal adcircle in Russell-square, where there was vantages, quite as conscious of their powplenty of gayety, and where the jokes of his ers of fascination, as any coquette in the good-natured old father frightened his amour- world. propre. His bulk caused Joseph much anx- Down stairs, then, they went, Joseph very ious thought and alarm; now and then he red and blushing, Rebecca very modest, and would make a desperate attempt to get rid holding her green eyes downward. She of his superabundant fat; but his indolence was dressed in white, with bare shoulders and love of good living speedily got the better as white as snow-the picture of youth, of these endeavors at reform, and he found unprotected innocence, and humble, virgin himself again at his three meals a day. He simplicity. " I must be very quiet," thought never was well dressed; but he took the Rebecca, "and very much interested about hugest pains to adorn his big person, and India." passed many hours daily in that occupation. Now we have heard how Mrs. Sedley His valet made a fortune out of his ward- had prepared a fine curry for her son, just robe: his toilet-table was covered with as as he liked it, and in the course of dinner a many pomatums and essences as ever were portion of this dish was offered to Rebecca. employed by an old beauty: he had tried, &" What is it?" said she, turning an appealing in order to give himself a waist, every girth, look to Mr. Joseph. stay, and waistband then invented. Like "Capital," said he. His mouth was ful. most fat men, he would have his clothes of it: his face quite red with the delightful made too tight, and took care they should exercise of gobbling. " Mother, it's as good be of the most brilliant colors and youthful as my own curries in India." cut. When dressed at length, in the after- "Oh, I must try some, if it is an Indian noon, he wold i issue forth to take a drive dish," said Miss Rebecca. "I am sure with nobody in the Park; and then would every thing must be good that comes from come back in order to dress again and go there." and dine with nobody at the Piazza Coffee-;' Give Miss Sharp some curry, my dear' House. He was as vain as a girl; and per- said Mr. Sedley, laughing. haps -his extrtme shyness was one of the Rebecca had never tasted the dish before. results of his extreme vanity. If Miss Re- "Do you find it as good as every thing becca can get the better of him, and at her else from India?" said Mr. Sedley. first entrance into life, she is a young person "Oh, excellent!" said Rebecca, who was of no ordinary cleverness. suffering tortures with the cayenne pepper. The first move showed considerable skill. " Try a chili with it, Miss Sharp," said When she called Sedley a very handsome Joseph, really interested. man, she knew that Amelia would tell her "A chili," said Rebecca, gasping. "Oh mother, who would probably tell Joseph, or yes!" She thought a chili was something who, at any rate, would be pleased by the cool, as its name imported, and was served compliment paid to her son. All mothers with some. "How fresh and green they are. If you had told Sycorax that her son look," she said, and put one into her mouth: Caliban was as handsome as Apollo, she It was hotter than the curry; flesh and would have been pleased, witch as she was. blood could bear it no longer. She laid Perhaps, too, Joseph Sedley would over- down her fork. "Water, for Heaven's hear the compliment-Rebecca spoke loud sake, water!" she cried. Mr. Sedley burst enough-and he did hear, and (thinking in out laughing (he was a coarse man, from the his heart that he was a very fine man) the Stock Exchange, where they love all sorts praise thrilled through every fibre of his big of practical jokes). (' They are real Indian, body, and made it tingle with pleasure. I assure you," said he. " Sambo, give Miss Then, however, came a recoil. "Is the Sharp some water." girl making fun of me?" he thought, and The paternal laugh was echoed by Joseph, straightway he bounced toward the bell, and who thought the joke capital. The ladies was for retreating, as we have seen, when only smiled a little. They thought poor hiather's jokes and his mother's entreaties Rebecca suffered too much. She would caused him to pause and stay where he have liked to choke old Sedley, but she was. He conducted the young lady down swallowed her mortification as well as she to dinner in a dubious and agitated frame of had the abominable curry before it, and as A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 19 soon as she could speak, said, with a comical, " There goes Joseph," said Ameia, who good-humored air- was looking from the open windows of the " I ought to have remembered the pepper drawing-room, while Rebecca was singing which the Princess of Persia puts in the at the piano. cream-tarts in the Arabian Nights. Do you "Miss Sharp has frightened him away," put cayenne into your cream-tarts in India, said Mrs. Sedley. "Poor Joe, why will he sir?" be so shy?" Old Sedley began to laugh, and thought Rebecca was a good-humored girl. Joseph simply said-"- Cream-tarts, Miss? Our cream is very bad in Bengal. We generally CHAPTER IV. use goats' milk; and,'gad, do you know, I've got to prefer it?" X" You won't like every thing from India PooR Joe's panic lasted for two or three now, Miss Sharp," said the old gentleman; days; during which he did not visit the but when the ladies had retired after dinner, house, nor during that period did Miss Rethe wily old fellow said to his son, " Have a becca ever mention his name. She was all care, Joe; that girl is setting her cap at you." respectful gratitude to Mrs. Sedley; de"Pooh! nonsense!" said Joe, highly flat- lighted beyond measure at the bazaars; and tered. " I recollect, sir,.there was a girl at in a whirl of wonder at the theater, whither Dumdum, a daughter of Cutler of the Artil- the good-natured lady took her. One day, lery, and afterward married to Lance, the Amelia had a head-ache, and could not go surgeon, who made a dead set at me in the upon some party of pleasure to which the year'4-at me and Mulligatawney, whom two young people were invited: nothing I mentioned to you before dinner-a devilish could induce her friend to go without her. good fellow Mulligatawney-he's a magis- "XVhat! you who have shown the poor ortrate at Budgebudge, and sure to be in phan what happiness and love are for the council in five years. Well, sir, the Artil- first time in her life-quit you? never! and lery gave a ball, and Quintin, of the king's the green eyes looked up to Heaven and fill14th, said to me,'Sedley,' said he,'I bet ed with tears; and Mrs. Sedley could not you thirteen to ten that Sophy Cutler hooks but own that her daughter's friend had a either you or Mulligatawney -before the charming, kind heart of her own.. rains.''Done,' says I; and egad, sir-this As for Mr. Sedley's jokes, Rebecca laughclaret's very good. Adamson's or Carbo- ed at them with a cordiality and persevernell's?"... ance which not a little pleased and softened A slight snore was the only reply: the the good-natured gentleman. Nor was it honest stock-broker was asleep, and so the with the chiefs of the family alone that Miss rest of Joseph's story was lost for that day. Sharp found favor. She interested Mrs. But he is always exceedingly communicative Blenkinsop by evincing the deepest sympain a man's party, and has told this delightful thy in the raspberry-jam preserving, which tale many scores of times to his apothecary, operation was then going on in the houseDr. Gollop, when he came to inquire about keeper's room; she persisted in calling Samthe liver and the blue-pill. bo "Sir," and "Mr. Sambo," to the delight Being an invalid, Joseph Sedley content- of that attendant; and she apologized to the ed himself with a bottle of claret besides his lady's maid for giving her trouble in venturMadeira at dinner, and he managed a couple ing to ring the bell, with such sweetness and of plates full of strawberries and cream, and humility, that the servants'-hall was alnmost twenty-four little rout cakes that were lying as charmed with her as the drawing-roam. neglected in a plats near him, and certainly Once, in looking over some drawings which (for novelists have the privilege of knowing Amelia had sent from school, Rebecca sudevery thing) he thought a great deal about denly came upon one which caused her to the girl up stairs. "A nice, gay, merry burst into tears and leave the room. It was young creature," thought he to himself. on the day when Joe Sedley made his sec"How she looked at me when I picked up ond appearance. her handkerchief at dinner! She dropped Amelia hastened after her friend to know it twice. Who's that singing in the drawing- the cause of this display of feeling, and the' room?'Gad! shall I go up and see?" good-natured girl came back without her But his modesty came rushing upon him companion, rather affected too. "You know, with uncontrollable force. His father was her father was our drawing-master, mamma, asleep: his hat was in the hall: there was at Chiswick, and used to do all the bost parts a hackney-coach stand hard by in South- of our drawings." ampton Row. "I'll go and see the Forty "My love! I'm sure I always heard Miss Thieves," said he, 1" and Miss Decamp's Pinkerton say that he did not touch them dance;" and he slipped away gently on the -he only mounted them." pointed toes of his boots, and disappeared, " It was called mounting, mamma. Re-'without wakil his worthy parent. becca remembars:the drswing and hler fa Nub" IVANITY, FAIR. ther working at it, and the thought of it est; but, you see. poor dear IRebecca had an came upon her rather suddenly-and so, you this work to do- for herself. If a person is know, she —-- -" too poor to keep a servant, though ever so "'The poor child is all heart," said Mrs. elegant, he must sweep his own rooms: if a Sedley. dear girl has no dear mamma to settle mat-,"I wish she could stay with us another ters with the young man, she must do it for week," said Amelia. herself. And oil, what a mercy it is that ", She's devilish like Miss Cutler that I these women do not exercise their power used to meet at Dumdum, only fairer. She's oftener! We can't resist them, if they do. married now to Lance, the Artillery sur- Let them show ever so little inclination, and geon. Do you know, ma'am, that once men go down on their knees at once: old or Quintin, of the 14th, bet me-" ugly, it is all the same. And this I set down ", 0 Joseph, we know that story," said as a positive truth. A woman with fair op. Amelia, laughing. " Never mind about tell- portunities, and without an absolute hump, ing that; but persuade mamma to write to may marry WHOM SHE LIXES. Only let us Sir Something Crawley." be thankful that the darlings are like the "Had he a son in the King's Light Dra- beasts of the field, and don't know their own goons in India?" power. They would overcome us entirely 4 "Well, will you write to him for leave of if they did. absence for poor dear Rebecca? —here she "Egad!" thought Joseph, entering- the comes, her eyes red with weeping." dining-room, 6" I exactly begin to feel as I "' I'm better, now," said the girl, with the did at Dumdum with Miss Cutler." Many sweetest smile possible, taking good-natured sweet little appeals, half tender, half jocular, Mrs. Sedley's extended hand and kissing it did Miss Sharp make to him about the dishes respectfully. "How kind you all are to me! at dinner; for by this time she was on a All," she added, with a laugh, "except you, footing of considerable familiarity with the Mr. Joseph." family, and as for the girls, they loved each Me!" said Joseph, meditating an instant other like sisters. Young unmarried girls departure - uGracious heavens! Good Gad! always do, if they are in a house together for Miss Sharp!" ten days. "' Yes; how could you be so cruel as to As if bent upon advancing Rebecca's plans make me-eat that horrid pepper-dish at din- in every way-what must Amelia do, but noer, the first day I ever saw you? You are remind her brother of a promise made last not so good to me as dear Amelia." Easter holydays —" When I was a girl at " He doesn't know you so well," cried school," said she, laughing —-a promise that Amelia. he, Joseph, would take her to Vauxhall.' I defy any body not to be good to you, i" Now," she said, 1" that Rebecca is with us, my dear," said her mother. will be the very time." " The curry was capital; indeed it was," "0, delightful!" said Rebecca, going to said Joe, quite-,gravely. "Perhaps there clap her hands: but she recollected herself, was not enough citron juice in-it,; no, there and paused, like a modest creature, as she was not." was. "And the chilis?" " To-night is not the night," said Joe ", By Jb#e, how they made you cry out!" " %'Well, to-nmorrow.": said Joe, caught by the ridicule of the cir- "To-morrow your papa andI dine out,' cumstance, and exploding in a fit of laughter said Mrs. Sedley. which ended quite suddenly, as usual. I" You don't suppose that I'm going, Mrs. " 1 shall take care how I let you choose Sed.?" said her husband, " and that a wo for me another time," said Rebecca, as they man of your years and size is to catch cold went downsgaitto dinner. " I didn ttink in such an abominable damp place.?;1 men were fond of putting poor harmless; The children must have some one with girls to pain." them," cried Mr. Sedley. "' By Gad, Miss Rebecca, I wouldn't hurt "Let Joe go," said his father, laughing. you for the world." " He's big enough." At which speech even " No," said she, " I know you wouldn't;" Mr. Sambo at the sideboard burst out laughand then she gave him ever so gentle a pres- ing, and poor fat Joe felt inclined to become sure with her little hand, and drew it back a parricide almost. quit frightened, and looked first for one in- " Undo his stays i'" continued the pitiless stant in his face, and — then down at the old gentleman. "Fling some water in his earpet-rods; and I am not prepared to say face, Miss Sharp, or carry him up stairs: that Joe's heart dibd3ot thump at this little the dear creature's fainting. Poor victim! involuntary, timid, gentle motion of regard carry him up; he's as light as a feather!" on the part of the simple girl. "If I stand this, sir;,'m d —!" roared It was an advance, and as such, perhaps, Joseph. some ladies of indisputable correctness and "Order Mr. Jo's elephant, Sambo " cried gentility will condemn the action as immod- the father. "sSend to Exeter'Cl ange, A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 2Sambo;" but Joe ready almost to cry with him yet. Here is Emmy's little friend with vexation, L old jolter stopped his making love to him as hard as she can; that's laughter, and said, holding out — his hand to quite clear; and if she does not catch him his son, " it's all fair on the Stock Exchangk some other will. That man is destined to Jos —and, Sambo, never mind the elephant,, be a prey to woman, as I am to go on but give me and Mr. Jos a glass of chamin-'Change every day. It's a mercy he did not pagne. Boney himself hasn't got such in bring us over a black daughter-in-law, my his cellar, my boy!" dear. But, mark my words, the first womA goblet of champagne restored Joseph's an who fishes for him, hooks him." equanimity, and before the bottle was emp- "She shall go off to-morrow, the little tied, of which as an invalid he took two- artful creature," said Mrs. Sedley, with thirds, he had agreed to take the young great energy. ladies to Vauxhall. "Why not she as well as another, Mrs. " The girls must have a gentleman apiece," Sedley? The girl's a white face at any said the old gentleman. 1" Jos will be sure rate. I don't care who marries him. Let to leave Emmy in the crowd, he will be so Joe please himself." taken up with Miss Sharp here. Send to And presently the voices of the two 26, and ask George Osborne if he'll come." speakers were hushed, or were replaced by At this, I don't know in the least for what the gentle but unromantic music of the reason, Mrs. Sedley looked at her husband nose; and save when the church bells tolled and laughed. Mr. Sedley's eyes twinkled the hour and the watchman called it, all in a manner indescribably roguish; and he was silent at the house of John Sedley, Eslooked at Amelia, and Amelia, hanging down quire, of Russell-square, and the Stock -Exher head, blushed as only young ladies of change. seventeen know how to blush, and as Miss When morning came, the good-natured Rebecca Sharp never blushed in her life- Mrs. Sedley no longer thought of executing at least not since she was eight years old, her threats with regard to Miss Sharp; for and when she was caught stealing jam out though nothing is more keen, nor more comof a cupboard by her godmother. "Amelia mon, nor more justifiable, than maternal had better write a note," said her father; jealousy, yet she could not bring hersel/fto "and let George Osborne see what a beau- suppose that the little, humble, grateful, tiful hand-writing we have brought back gentle governess, would dare to look up to from Miss Pinkerton's. Do you remember such a magnificent personage as the collecwhen you wrote to him to come on Twelfth- tor of Boggley Wollah. The petition, too, night, Emmy, and spelt twelfth without the for an extension of the young lady's leave of f?" absence had already been dispatched, and it;'That was wyars ago," said Amelia. would be difficult to find a pretext for ab"It seems like yesterday, don't it, John?" ruptly dismissing her. said Mrs. Sedley to her husband; and that And as if all things conspired in favor of night, in a conversation which took place in the gentle Rebcca the very elemenrits (al; a front room in the second-floor, in a sort of though she was not inclined at first to atent, hung round with chintz of a rich fan- knowledge their action in her behalf) intertastic India pattern, and double with calico posed to aid her. For on the evening apof a tender rose-color; in the interior of pointed for the Vauxhall party, George Oswhich species of marquee was a feather- borne having come to dinner, and the elders bed, on which were two pillows, on which of the house having departed, according to were two round red faces, one in a laced invitation, to dine with Alderiman Balls, at eight-cap, and -one in a simple cotton one, Highbury Barn, there eiin on such a thunending in a tassel in a curtainr lecture, I say, der-storm as only:happens on Vauxhall Mrs. Sedley took her husband to task for his nights, and as obliged the young people, per cruel conduct to poor Joe. force, to remain at home. Mr. Osborine-did " It was quite wicked of you, Mr. Sged- not seem in the least disappointed at this ocley," said she, "to torment the poor boy currence. He and Joseph Sedley drank a so." fitting quantity of port-wine, tite-d-tUte, in "My dear," said the cotton-tassel in de- the dining-room, during the drinking of (ense of his conduct, " Jos is a great deal which Sedley told a number of his best Invainer than you ever were in your life, and dian stories; for he was extremely talkative that's saying a good deal. Though, some in man's society, and afterward Miss Anme thirty years ago, in the year seventeen hun- ha Sedley did the honors of the drawingdred and eighty-what was it? perhaps you room; and these four young persons passed had a right to be vain. I don't say no. But such a comfortable evening together, that I've no patience with Jose nd- his andified they de/lared they were rather glad of the modesty. It is out-Josephing Joseph, my thunder-storm than otherwise, which had dcear, and all the while the boy is only think- caused them to put off their -visit to Vauxing of himself, and what a fine fellow he is. hall. I rtolbt, Ma'am, w. shall have some trouble Osborne was Sedlef's godson, and ha a22 VANITY FAIR. been one of the family any time these three- turned away her head fila began to and-twenty years. At six weeks old, he give way to thatpat urf mnr-mity of tears had received from John Sedley a present of which, we have said, was one of the defects a silver cup; at six months old, a coral with of this silly little thing. George Osborne gold whistle and bells; from his youth, up- looked at the two young women with a ward, he was " tipped" regularly by the old touched curiosity; and Joseph Sedleyheaved gentleman at Christmas; and on going back something very like a sigh out of his big to school, remembered perfectly well being chest, as he cast his eyes down toward his thrashed by Joseph Sedley, when the latter favorite Hessian boots. was a big. swaggering, hobbadyhoy, and " Let us have some music, Miss Sedley George an impudent urchin of ten years -Amelia," said George, who felt at that old. In a word, George Osborne was as moment an extraordinary, almost irresistible familiar with the family as such daily acts impulse to seize the above-mentioned young of kindness and intercourse could make woman in his arms, and to kiss her in the him. face of the company; and she looked at him " Do you remember, Sedley, what a fury for a moment, and if I should say that they you were in, when I cut off the tassels of fell in love with each other at that single inyour Hessian boots, and how Miss-hem!- stant of time, I should perhaps be telling an how Amelia rescued me from a beating, by untruth, for the fact is, that these two falling down on her knees and crying out to young people had been bred up by their her brother Jos, not to beat little George?" parents for this very purpose, and their Jos remembered this remarkable circum- bans had, as it were, been read in their stance perfectly well, but vowed that he had respective families any time these ten years totally forgotten it. They went off to the piano, which was sit"'Well, do you remember coming down in uated, as pianos usually are, in the back a gig to Dr. Swishtail's, to see me, before drawing-room; and as it was rather dark, you went to India, and giving me half a Miss Amelia, in the most unaffected way. guinea and a pat on the head? I always in the world, put her hand into Mr. Oshad an:idea that you were at least seven borne's, who, of course, could see the way feet high, and was quite astonished at your among the chairs and ottomans a great deal return from India to find you no taller than better than she could. But this arrangemyself." ment left Mr. Joseph Sedley tete-a-tete with " How good of Mr. Sedley to go to your Rebecca, at the drawing-room table, where school and give you the money!" exclaim- the latter was occupied in netting a green ed Rebecca, in accents of extreme delight. silk purse. "Yes, and after I had cut the tassels of "There is no need to ask family sehis boots too. Boys never forget those tips crets," said Miss Sharp. "Those two have at school, nor the givers." told theirs." "1 delight in Hessian boots," said Rebec- "As soon as he gets his company," said ca. Jos Sedley, who admired his own legs Joseph, -"I believe the affair is settled. prodigiously, and always wore this ornamen- George Osborne is as good a fellow as ever tel chaussure, was extremely pleased at this breathed." remark, though he drew his legs under his "And your sister the dearest creature in chair as itiwas made. the world," said Rebecca. " Happy the "Miss Sharp!" said George Osborne, man who wins her!" With!this, Miss 1"you who are so clever an artist, you must Sharp gave a great sigh. make a grand historicairpicture of the scene When two unmarried persons get toof the boots. Sedley shrill be represented gether, and talk upon such delicate subject. in buckskins, and. holding one of the injured as the present, a great deal of confidence boots in one hand; by the other he shall and intimacy is presently establiAtlt we wen have hold of my shirt-frill. Amelia shall be them. There is no need of giving a special kneeling near him, with ltir little-hands up; report of the iconversation which now took and the picture shall have a gand alegori- place between Mr. Sedley and the young cal title, as the frontispieces have in the lady; for the conversation, as maybe judged Medulla and the spelling-book." from the foregoing specimen, was not es-' I shan't have time to do it here," said pecially witty or eloquent; it seldom is in Rebecca. "I'll do it when-when I am private societies, or any where except in gone." And she dropped her voice, and very high-flown and ingenious novels. As looked so sad and piteous, that every body there was music in the next room, the talk felt how cruel her lot was, and how sorry was carried on, of course, in a low and bethey would be to part with her. coming tone, though, for the matter of that, " O that you could- stay longer, dear Re- the couple in the next apartment would not beceaI" said Amelia. have been disturbed had the talking been "4Why?" answered the other? still more ev~e so loud, seo occupied were they with sadly. "That I may be only the more. own. Puarsuits. lmlp-unwilflig to lose you? " d::' d Almost for the first time in his- life, Mr. A NOVEL WITHOU-' A HERO. 21 Sedley found himself talking, without the them that after marriage this Sehnsucht nach least timidity or hesitation, to a person of the der Liebe subsides. It is what sentimentalother sex. Miss Rebecca asked him a ists, who deal in very big words, call a yearngreat number of questions about India, ing after the Ideal, and simply means that which gave him an opportunity of narrating women are commonly not satisfied until they many interesting anecdotes about that coun- have husbands and children on whom they try and himself. He described the balls at may center affections, which are spent esGovernment House, and the manner in where, as it were, in small change. which they kept themselves cool in the hot Having expended her little store of songs, weather, with punkahs, tatties, and other con- or having stayed long enough in the back trivances; and he was very witty regarding drawing-room, it now appeared proper to the number of Scotchmen whom Lord Min- Miss Amelia to ask her friend to sing, to, the governor-general patronized; and "You would not have listened to me," she then he described a tiger hunt; and the said to Mr. Osborne (though she knew she manner in which the mahout of his elephant was telling a fib), " had you heard Rebecca had been pulled off his howdah by one of first." the infuriated animals. How delighted Miss "I give Miss Sharp warning, though," Rebecca was at the government balls, and said Osborne, "that, right or wrong, I conhow she laughed at the stories of the Scotch side' Miss Amelia Sedley the first singer in aids-de-camp, and called Mr. Sedley a sad the world." wicked satirical creature; and how frighten- "You shall hear," said Amelia; and Joed she was at the story of the elephant! seph Sedley was actually polite enough to "For your mother's sake, dear Mr. Sed- carry the candles to the piano. Osborne ley," she said, "for the sake of all your hinted that he ihould like quite as well to friends, promise never to go on one of those sit in the dark; but Miss Sedley, laughing, horrid expeditions." declined to bear him company any farther, ", Pooh, pooh, Miss Sharp," said he, pull- and the two accordingly followed Mr. Joing up his shirt-collars; "the danger makes seph. Rebecca sang far better than her the sport only the pleasanter." He had friend (though of course Osborne was free never been but once at a tiger hunt, when to keep his opinion), and exerted herself to the accident in question occurred, and when the utmost, and, indeed, to the wonder of he was half killed —not by the tiger, but by Amelia, who had never known her perform th.e fright. And as he talked on, he grew so well. She sang a French song, which quito bold, and actually had the audacity to Joseph did not understand in the least, and ask Miss Rebecca for whom she was knit- which George confessed he did not underting the green silk purse? He was quite stand; and then a, number of- those simple surprised and delighted at his own graceful, ballads which were the fashion forty years familiar manner. ago, and in which British tars, our King, poor For any one who wants a purse," re- Susan, blue-eyed Mary, and the like, were plied Miss Rebecca, looking at him in the the principal themes. They a re:'t, it is most gentle, winning way. Sedley was said, very brilliant, in a musical-point of view, going to make one of the most eloquent but contain numberless good-natured, simple speeches possible, and had begun, "O Miss appeals to the affections, which people unl Sharp, how-" when some song which was derstood better than the milk-and-water 1iperformed in the other room came to an end, grime, sospiri, and felicite of the etermal and caused him to hear his own voice so dis- Donizettian music with which-o -Iare fatinctly that he stopped, blushed, and blew vored nowadays. his nose in great agitation. Conversation of a sentimental sort, befit" Did you ever hear any thing like your ting the subject, was carried on between the brother's eloquence?" whispered Mr. Os- songs, to which Satnbo, after he had brought borne to Amelia. "Why, your friend has the tea, the delighted cook, and even Mrs. worked miracles." Blenkinsop, the housekeeper, condescended "The more the better," said Miss Ame- to listen on the landing-place. lia; who, like almost all women who are Among these ditties was one, the last of worth a pin, was a match-maker in her the concert, and to the following effectheart, and would have been delighted that bleak and barren was the moor, Ah! bleak and barren was the moor, Joseph should carry back a wife to India. Ah! loud and piercing was the storm, She had, too, in the coarse of this few days' The cottage hearth was shelter'd sure, constant intercourse, warmed into a most The cottage hearth was bright and wvamtender friendship for Rebecca, and discov- A orphan boy the lattice pass'd, And, as he mark'd its cheerful glow, ered a million of virtues and amiable quali- Felt doubly keen the midnight blat, ties in her which she had not perceived when And doubly cold the fallen snov. they were at Chiswick together. For the affection of' yng ladies is of as rapid mark'd him ashe onward prest, With fainting heart and #eary limb; growth as Jack's- bean-stalk, and reaches up Kind voices bade hiMlttfrnd and rest, to. the sky in a n'h - It, is no- blame to And trtltefae-';eelcomed him. VANITY' FAIRl The dawn is up-the guest is gone, work. As Joe's buggy drove up, and while, The cottage hearth is blazing still; after his usual thundering knock and porn. Heaven pity all poor wanderers lone! Hark to the wind upon the bill! pous bustle at the door, the collector of Boggley Wollah labored up stairs to the It was the sentiment of the before-men- drawing-room, knowing glances were teletioned words, " When I'm gone," over again. graphed between Osborne and Miss Sedley, As she came to the last words, Miss Sharp's and the pair, smiling archly, looked at Re ", deep-toned voice faltered." Every body becca, who actually blushed as she bent her felt the allusion to her departure, and to her fair ringlets over her netting. How her hapless orphan state. Joseph Sedley, who heart beat as Joseph appeared —Joseph, was fond of music, and soft-hearted, was in puffing from the stair-case in shining creaka state of ravishment during the performance ing boots-Joseph, in a new waistcoat, red of the song, and profoundly touched at its with heat and nervousness, and blushing beconclusion. If he had had the courage; if hind his wadded neckcloth. It was a nerGeorge and Miss Sedley had remained, ac- vous moment for all; and as for Amelia, I cording to the former's proposal, in the think she was more frightened than even the farther room, Joseph Sedley's bachelorhood people most concerned. would have been at an end, and this work Sambo, who flung open the door and anwould never have been written. But at the nounced Mr. Joseph, followed grinning, in close of the ditty, Rebecca quitted the piano, the collector's rear, and bearing two-handand giving her hand to Amelia, walked away some nosegays of flowers, which the monster into the front drawing-room twilight; and, had actually had the gallantry to purchase in at this moment, Mr. Sambo made his ap- Covent Garden Market that morning —they pearance with a tray, containing sandwiches, were not as big as the haystacks which ladies ielles, and some glittering glasses and de- carry about with them nowadays, in cones canters, on which Joseph Sedley's attention of filagree paper; but the young women was immediately fixed. When the parents were delighted with the gift, as Joseph preof the house of Sedley returned from their sented one to each, with an exceedingly dinner-party, they found the young people solemn and clumsy bow. so busy in talking, that they had not heard "Bravo, Jos!" cried Osborne. the arrival of the carriage, and Mr. Joseph "1 Thank you, dear Joseph," said Amelia, was in the act of saying, "'My dear Miss quite ready to kiss her brother, if he were Sharp, one little tea-spoonful of jelly to so minded. (And I think for a kiss from recruit you after your immense-your- such a dear creature as Amelia, I would your delightful exertions." purchase all Mr. Lee's conservatories out " Bravo, Jos!" said Mr. Sedley; on hear- of hand.) ing the bantering of which well-known voice, "O heavenly, heavenly flowers!" exclaimJos instantly relapsed into an alarmed silence, ed Miss Sharp, and smelt them delicately, and quickly took his departure. He did not and held them to her bosom, and cast up lie awake all night thinking whether or not her eyes to the ceiling, in an ecstasy of he was in love with Miss Sharp; the passion admiration. Perhaps she just looked first of love never interfered with the appetite or into the bouquet, to see whether there was the slumber of Mr. Joseph Sedley; but he a billet-doux hidden among the flowers; but thought to himself how delightful it would there was no letter. be to hear such songs as those after Cut- " Do they talk the language of flowers at cherry-what a distinguee girl she was- Boggley Wollah, Sedley.?" asked Osborne, how she could speak French better than laughing. the governor-general's lady herself —and "Language of fiddlestick!" replied the what a sensation the would make at the sentimental youth. "Bought'em at NaCalcutta balls. -It s evident the poor devil's than's; very glad you like'em; and eh, in love with me," thought he. " She is just Amelia, my dear, I bought a-pine-apple at as ric4 as most oT the girls who come out to the same time, which I gave to Sambo. India. I might go farther, and fare worse, Let's have it for tiffin; very cool and nice egad!" And in these meditations he fell this hot weather." Rebecca said she had asleep. never tasted a pine, and longed beyond every How Miss Sharp lay awake, thinking, thing to taste one. will he come or not to-morrow? need not be So the conversation went on. I don't told here. To-morrow came, and, as sure know on what pretext Osborne left the room, as fate, Mr. Joseph Sedley made his appear- or why, presently, Amelia went away, perance before luncheon. He had never been haps to superintend the slicing of the pineknown before to confer such an honor on apple; but Jos was left alone with Rebecca, Russell-square. George Osborne was some- who had resumed her work, and the green how there already (sadly i" putting out" silk and the shining needles were quivering Amelia, who was writing to her, -twelve rapidly under her white, slender fingers. dearest friends at Chiswick Mall), and Re- "What a beautiful, byoo-ootiful song that becca was employed upon her yesterday's was you sang last night, dear Mis Sharp," idi, i i I - ^5^J8 NAGE! (' s L~~~~.. ~~~~~~~,J __ I ixi M f~ JOsEPHZENTANOLED ~p A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. S said the collector. " It made me cry al- I ment), and other commodities. A dreadful most.;'pon my honor it did." day it was for young Dobbin when one of the "Because you have a kind heart, Mr. youngsters of the school, having run into the Joseph: all the Sedleys have, I think." town upon a poaching excursion for hard-," It kept me awake last night, and I was bake and polonies, espied the cart of Dobbin trying to hum it this morning, in bed; I & Rudge, Grocers and Oilmen, Thameswas, upon my honor. Gollop, my doctor, street, London, at the doctor's door, discame in at eleven (for I'm a sad invalid, you charging a cargo of the wares in which tho know, and see Gollop every day), and,'gad! firm dealt. there I was, singing away like-a robin." Young Dobbin had no peace after that. -O you dr,oll creature! Do let me hear The jokes were frightful, and merciless you sing it." against him. "Hullo, Dobbin," one wag 1" Me i No, you, Miss Sharp.; my dear would say, " here's good news in the paper. Miss Sharp, do sing it." Sugars is ris', my boy." Another would set' "Not now, Mr. Sedley," said Rebecca, a sum —" If a pound of mutton candles cost with a sigh. " My spirits are not equal to sevenpence-halfpenny, how much must Dobit' Lesides, I must finish the purse. Will bin cost?" and a roar would follow from all you help me, Mr. Sedley?" And before tle circle of young knaves, usher and all, he had time to ask how, Mr. Joseph Sedley, who rightly considered that the selling of of the East India Company's service, was goods by retail is a shameful and infamous astually seated tete-a-tete with a young lady, practice, meriting the contempt and scorn of looking at her with a most killing expression; all real gentlemen. his arms stretched out before her in an im- "Your father's only a merchant, Osborne," ploring attitude, and his hands bound in a Dobbin said in private to the little boy who web of green silk, which she was unwinding. had brought down the storm upon him. At * * * * * which the latter replied haughtily, " My faIn this romantic position Osborne and ther's a gentleman, and keeps his carriage;" Amelia found the interesting pair, when and Mr. William Dobbin retreated to a rethey entered to announce that tiffin was mote outhouse in the play-ground, where he ready. The skein of silk was just wound passed a half-holiday in the bitterest sadround the card; but Mr. Jos had never ness and wo. Who among us is there that spoken. does not recollect similar hours of bitter, bit"I am sure he will to-night, dear," Amelia ter childish grief? Who feels injustice; said, as she pressed Rebecca's hand; and who shrinks before a slight; who has a sense Sedley, too, had communed with his soul, of wrong so acute, and so glowing a gratiand said to himself, "'Gad, I'll pop the ques- tude for kindness, as a generous boy? and tion at Vauxhall." how many of those gentle souls do you degrade, estrange, -torture, for the sake of a little loose arithmetic, and miserable dogLatin? CHAPTER V. William Dobbin, from an incapacity to DODBMt ofP OURS. acquire the rudiments of the above language, as they are propounded in that wonderful CUFF'S fight with Dobbin, and the unex- book the Eton Latin Grammar, was compected issue of that-contest, will long be re- pelled to remain among the very last of Docmembered by every man who was educated tor Swishtail's sdholars, and was " taken at Dr. Swishtail's famous school. The lat- down" continually by little fellows with pink ter youth (who used to be called Heigh-ho faces apd pinafores when he marched up Dobbin, Gee-ho Dobbin, and by many other with tffe lower form, a giant among them, names indicative of puerile contempt) was with his downcast, stupefied look, his dogsthe quietest, the clumsiest, and, as it seem- eared primer, and his tight corduroys. Higb ed, the dullest of all Dr. Swishtail's young and low, all made fun of him. They sewed gentlemen. His parent was a grocer in the up those corduroys, tight as they were. city: and it was bruited abroad that he was They cut his bed-strings. They upsetbuckadmitted into Dr. Swishtail's academy upon ets and benches, so that he might:break his what are called " mutual principles"-that shins over them, which he never faEd to do. is to say, the expenses of his board and They gent him parcels, which, when openschooling Were defrayed by his father, in ed, were found to contain the paternal soap goods, not;money; and he stood there- and candles. There was no little fellow but almost at dhe bottom of the school —in his had his jeer and joke at Dobbin; and Ie* scraggy corduroys and jacket, through the bore every thing quite patiently, and was enseams of which his great big bhties were tirely dumb and miserable. bursting —as the representativeofaso many Cuff, on the contrary, was the great chief pounds of tea, candles,,sugar, mottltdsosap, and dandy of the Swishtail Seminary. He plums ('of which a very mild proportion was smuggled wine ins He fought the town; supplied', fotrthe, puddings of the establish- boys. Ponies used to come for him to rid. B36 VANITY FAIR. home on Saturdays. He had his top-boots almost happy. If people would but leave in his room, in which he used to hunt in the children to themselves; if teachers would holidays. He had a gold repeater: and cease to bully them; if parents would not took snuff like the doctor. He had been to insist upon directing their thoughts, and the opera, and knew the merits of the prin- dominating their feelings-those feelings and cipal actors, preferring Mr. Kean to Mr. thoughts which are a mysteryto all (for how Kemble. He could knock you off forty Latin much do you and I know of each other, of verses in an hour. He could make French our children, of our fathers, of our neighbor poetry. I What else didn't he know, or and how far more beautiful and sacred are couldn't he do? They said even the doctor the thoughts of the poor lad or girl whom himself was afraid of him. you govern likely to be, than those of the Cuff, the unquestioned king of the school, dull and world-corrupted person who ruler ruled over his subjects, and bullied them, him?)-if, I say, parents and masters would with splendid superiority. This one black- leave their children alone a little more, ed his shoes: that toasted his bread: others small harm would accrue, although a less would fag out, and give him balls at cricket quantity of as in preesenti might be acquired. during whole summer afternoons. "Figs" Well, William Dobbin had for once for was the fellow whom he despised most, and gotten the world, and was away with Sindwith whom, though always abusing him, and bad the Sailor in the Valley of Diamonds, sneering at him, he scarcely ever conde- or with Prince Whatdyecallem and the Fairy scended to hold personal communication. Peribanou in that delightful cavern wher6 One day, in private, the two young gentle- the prince found her, and whither we should men had had a difference. Figs, alone in all like to make a tour; when shrill cries, as the school-room, was blundering over a home of a little fellow weeping, woke up his pleasletter; when Cuff, entering, bade him go ant reverie; and, looking up, he saw Cuff upon some message, of which tarts were before him, belaboring a little boy. probably the subject. ~ It was the lad who had peached upon him "I can't," says Dobbin, "I want to finish about the grocer's cart; but he bore little my letter." malice, not at least toward the young and "You can't?" says Mr. Cuff, laying hold small. "s How dare you, sir, break the botof that document (in which many words tie?" says Cuff to the little urchin, swinging were scratched out, many were mis-spelled, a yellow cricket-stump over him. on which had been spent I don't know how The boy had been instructed to get over much thought, and labor, and tears; for the the play-ground wall (at a selected spot poor fellow was writing to his mother, who where the broken glass had been removed was fond of him, although she was a grocer's from the top, and niches made convenient in wife, and lived in a back parlor in Thames- the brick); to run a quarter of a mile; to street), "You can't?" says Mr. Cuff; "I purchase a pint of rum-shrub on credit; to should like to know why, pray? Can't you brave all the doctor's outlying pies, and to write to old Mother Figs to-morrow?" clamber back into the play- und again; "Don't call names," Dobbin said, getting during the performance of which feat, his off the bench, very nervous. foot had slipped, and the bottle was broken, " Well, sir, will you go?" crowed the and the shrub had been spilled, and his pancock of the school. taloons had been damaged, and he appeared "Put down the letter," Dobbin replied; before his employer a perfectly guilty and s' no gentleman readth lefterth."' trembling, though harmless, wretch. "Well, now will you go?" says the other. " How dare you, sir, break it?" said Cuff; "No, I won't. Don't strike, or I'jU thmash "you blundering little thief. You drank the you," roars out Dobbin, springing4fa lead- shrub, and now you pretend to have broken en inkstand, and looking so wickS, that Mr. the bottle. Hold out your hand, sir." Cuff paused, turned down his coat-sleeves Down came the stump with a great heavy again, put his hands into his ockets, and thump on the child's hand. A moan followwalked. away with a sneer..But he never ed. Dobbin looked up. The Prince Perienkddled personally with the' grocer's boy banou had fled into the inmost cavern with afI.: that;:though'we must do him the jus- Prince Ahmed: the roc had whisked away tice to say he always spoke of Mr. Dobbin Sindbad the Sailor out of the Valley of Diwitheonteript behind his back. ameonds out of sight, far into the clouds: and there was every-day life before honest Some time after this interview, it happen- William; and a big boy beating a little one ed that Mr. Cuff, on a sunshiny afternoon, without cause. was in the neighborhood of poor William -"Hold out your other hand, sir," roars Dobbin, Wio was l'img under a tree in the Cuff to his little school-fellow, whose face ply-ground, spellD"g over a favorite copy of was. distorted with pain. Dobbin quivered, the- Arabian Nights which he hid —apart and gathered himself up in his narveow old from the rest of. the school, who were pur- clothes. suing their various sports-quite lone.y and "; Take that, you little devil!" P ried Mr A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO 27 Cuff, and down came the wicket again on you know I'm used to it." But Figs, all the child's hand. Don't be horrified, ladies, whose limbs were in a quiver, and whose every boy at a public school has done it. nostrils were breathing rage, put his little Your children will so do and be done by, in bottle-holder aside, and went in for a fourth all probability. Down came the wicket time. again; and Dobbin started up. As he did not in the least know how to I can't tell what his motive was. Tor- parry the blows that were aimed at himself, ture in a public school is as much licensed and Cuff had begun the attack on the three as the knout in Russia. It would be ungen- preceding occasions, without ever allowing tlemanlike (in a manner) to resist it. Per- his enemy to strike, Figs now determined haps Dobbin's foolish soul revolted against that he would commence the engagement that exercise of tyranny; or, perhaps, he by a charge on- his own part; and accordhad a hankering feeling of revenge in his ingly, being a left-handed man, brought that mind, and longed to measure himself against arm into action, and hit out a couple of times that splendid bully and tyrant, who had all with all his might-once at Mr. Cuff's left the glory, pride, pomp, circumstance, ban- eye. and once on his beautiful Roman nose. ners flying, drums beating, guards saluting, Cuff went down this time, to the astonin the place. Whatever may have been his ishment of the assembly. "~~Well hit, by incentive, however, up he sprang, and Jove," says little Osborne, with the air of a screamed out, "Hold off, Cuff; don't bully connoisseur, clapping his man on the back. that child any more; or I'll-" "Give it him with the left, Figs, my boy." " Or you'll, what?" Cuff asked in amaze- Figs' left made terrific play during all the ment at this interruption. " Hold out your rest of the combat. Cuff went down every hand, you little beast." time. At the sixth round, there were al"I'll give you the worst thrashing you most as many fellows shouting out, 1" Go it. ever had in your life," Dobbin said, in reply Figs," as there were youths exclaiming, to the first part of Cuff's sentence; and lit- " Go it, Cuff." At the twelfth round the tle Osborne, gasping and in tears, looked up latter champion was all abroad, as the saywith wonder and incredulity at seeing this ing is, and had lost all presence of mind and amazing champion put up suddenly to defend power of attack or defense. Figs, on the him: while Cuff's astonishment was scarce- contrary, was as calm as a Quaker. His face ly less. Fancy our late monarch, George being quite pale, his eyes shining open, and III., when he heard of the revolt of the a great cut on his under lip bleeding profuseNorth American colonies: fancy brazen Go- ly, gave this young fellow a fierce and ghastly liath, when little David stepped forward and air, which perhaps struck terror into m, Jy claimed a meeting: and you have the feel- spectators. Nevertheless, his intrepid adings of Mr. Reginald Cuff when this ren- versary prepared to close for the thirteenth counter was proposed to him. time. "After school," says he, of course; after If I had the pen of a Napier, or a Bell's a pause and a look, as much as to say, Life, I should like to describe this combat "Make your will, and communicate your properly. It was the last charge of the best wishes to your fiiends between this Guard-(that is, it would have been, only time and that." IWaterloo had not yet taken place)-it was "As you please," Dobbin said. " You Ney's column breasting the hill of La Haye must be my bottle-holder, Osborne." Sainte, bristling with ten thousand bayonets, " Well, if you like," little Osborne re- and crowded with twenty eagles-it was the plied; for you see his papa kept a carriage, shout of the beef-eating British, as leaping and he was rather ashamed of his champion. down the hill they rushed to hug the enemy in the savage arms of battle-in other words, Yes, when the hour of battle came, he Cuff, coming up full of pluck, but quite reelwas almost ashamed to say, " Go it, Figs;" ing and groggy, the Fig-merchant put in his and not a single other boy in the place utter- left as usual on his adversary's nose, and ed that cry for the first two oi' three rounds sent him down for the last time. of this famous combat; at the commence- "' I think that will do for him," Figs said, ment of which the scientific Cuff, with a as his opponent dropped as neatly on the contemptuous smile on his face, and as light green as I have seen Jack Spot's ball pIump and as gay as if he was at a ball, planted his into the pocket at billiards; and the fact is, blows upon his adversary, and floored that when time was called, Mr. Reginald Cuff unlucky champion three times running. At was not able, or did not choose to stand up each fall there was a cheer; and every body again. was anxious to have the honor of offering And now allothe boys set up such a shout the conquerer a knee. for Figs as would make you think he had V"What a licking I shall get when it's been their darling champion through the over," young Osborne thought, picking up whole battle; and as absolutely brought Dr. his man. "You'd best give in," he said to Swishtail out of his study, curious to know Dobbin; "it's only a thrashing, Figs, and i the cause of the uproar. He threatened to -28 VANITY FAIR. flog Figs violently, of course; but Cuff, who summer examination. You should have had come to himself by this time, and was seen his mother's face when Telemaque washing his wounds, stood up and said, "It's (that delicious romance) was presented to my fault, sir-not Figs' —not Dobbin's. I him by the Doctor in the face of the whole was bullying a little boy; and he served me school and the parents and company, with right." By which magnanimous speech he an inscription to Gulielmo Dobbin. All the not only saved his conquerer a whipping, boys clapped hands in token of applause and but got back all his ascendency over the boys, sympathy. His blushes, his stumbles, his which his defeat had nearly cost him. awkwardness, and the number of feet which Young Osborne wrote home to his parents he crushed as he went back to his place, an account of the transaction. who shall describe or calculate? Old Dobbin, his father, who now respected him for "Sugarcane House, Richmond, March, 18-. the first time, gave him two guineas public"DEAR MAMaIA,-I hope you are quite ly; most of which he spent in a general well. I should be much obliged to you to tuck-out for the school: and he came back send me a cake and five shillings. There in a tail-coat after the holidays. has been a fight here between Cuff & Dob- Dobbin was much too modest a young felbin. Cuff, you know, was the Cock of the low to suppose that this happy change in all School. They fought thirteen rounds, and his circumstances arose from his own genDobbin Licked. So Cuff is now Only Sec- erous and manly disposition: he chose, from ond Cock. The fight was about me. Cuff some perverseness, to attribute his good forwas licking me for breaking a bottle of milk, tune to the sole agency and benevolence of and Figs wouldn't stand it. We call him little George Osborne, to whom, henceforth, Figs because his father is a Grocer-Figs he vowed such a love and affection as is only & Rudge, Thames St., City-I think as he felt by children-such an affection, as we fought for me you ought to buy your Tea read in the charming fairy-book, uncouth & Sugar at his father's. Cuff goes home Orson had for splendid young Valentine, his every Saturday, but can't this, because he conquerer. He flung himself down at little has 2 Black Eyes. He has a white Pony Osborne's feet, and loved him. Even beto come and fetch him, and a groom in livery fore they were acquainted, he had admired on a bay mare. I wish my Papa would let Osborne in secret. Now he was his valet, me have a Pony, and I am, his dog, his man Friday. He believed Os"Your dutiful Son, borne to be the possessor of every perfec" GEORGE SEDLEY OSBORNE. tion, to be the handsomest, the bravest, the "P.S. Give my love to little Emmy. I most active, the cleverest, the most generam cutting her out a Coach in cardboard." ous of created boys. He shared his money with him: bought him uncountable presents In consequence of Dobbin's victory, his of knives, pencil-cases, gold seals, toffee, character rose prodigiously in the estimation Littleo Warblers, and romantic books, with of all his schoolfellows, and the name of large, colored pictures of knights and robFigs, which had been a byword of reproach bers, in many of which latter you might read became as respectable and popular a nick- inscriptions to George Sedley Osborne, Esq., name as any other in use in the school. from his attached friend, William Dobbin"4 After all, it's not his fault that his father's the which tokens of homage George rea grocer," George Osborne said, who, though ceived very graciously, as became his supe a little chap, had a very high popularity rior merit. among the Swishtail youth; and his opinion was received with great applause. It was So that, when Lieutenant Osborne, comvoted low to sneer at Dobbin about this ac- ing to Russell-square on the day of the cident of birth. "Old Figs" grew to be a Vauxhall party, said to the ladies, " Mrs. name of kindness and endearment; and the Sedley, Ma'am, I hope you have room; sneak of an usher jeered at him no longer. I've asked Dobbin of ours to come and dine And Dobbin's spirit rose with his altered here, and go'with us to Vauxhall. He's circumstances. He made wonderful ad- almost as modest as Jos." vances in scholastic learning. The superb "Modesty! pooh," said the stout gentleCuff himself, at whose condescension Dob- man, casting a vainqueur look at Miss Sharp. bin could only blush and wonder, helped him "He is-but you are incomparably more on with his Latin verses; "coached" him graceful, Sedley," Osborne added, laughing in play-hours; carried him triumphantly " I met him at the Bedford, when I went to out of the little-boy class into the middle- look for you; and I told him Miss Amelia sized form; and even there got a fair place was come home, and that we were all bent for him. It was discovered, that although on going out for a night's pleasuring; and dull at classical learning, at mathematics he that Mrs. Sedley had forgiven his breaking was uncommonly quick. To the content- the punch-bowl at the child's party. Don't ment of all, he passed third in algebra, and you remember the catastrophe, Ma'am, sev got a French prize-book at the public mid- en years ago?" A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. s " Over Mrs. Flamingo's crimson silk Amelia would never have been so bold as to gorn," said good-natured Mrs. Sedley. come singing into the room. As it was, the "4 What a gawky it was! And his sisters sweet, fresh little voice went straight to the are not much more graceful. Lady Dob- captain's heart, and nestled there. When bin was at Highbury last night with three she held out her hand for him to shake, beof them. Such figures! my dears." fore he enveloped it in his own, he paused, "The alderman's vely rich, isn't he?" and thought-," Well, is it possible-are you Osborne said, archly. "Don't you think the little maid I remember in the pink frock, one of the daughters would be a good spec such a short time ago-the night I upset the for me, Ma'am?" punchbowl, just after I was gazetted. Are'You foolish creature! Who would take you the little girl that George Osborne said you, I should like to know, with your yellow should marry him? What a blooming young face? And what can Alderman Dobbin have creature you seem, and what a prize the among fourteen?" rogue has got!" All this he thought, before "Mine a yellow face? Stop till you see he took Amelia's hand into his own, and as Dobbin. Why, he had the yellow fever he let his cocked-hat fall. three times; twice at Nassau, and once at His history since he left school, until the St. Kitts." very moment when we have the pleasure "Well, well; yours is quite yellow enough of meeting him again, although not fully narfor us. Isn't it, Emmy?" Mrs. Sedley said: rated, has yet, I think, been indicated sufat which speech Miss Amelia only made a ficiently for an ingenious reader by the consmile and a blush; and looking at Mr. George versation in the last page. Dobbin, the Osborne's pale, interesting countenance, and despised grocer, was Alderman Dobbinthose beautiful black, curling, shining whisk- Alderman Dobbin was colonel of the City ers, which the young gentleman himself re- Light Horse, then burning with military garded with no ordinary complacency, she ardor. to resist the French invasion. Colothought in her little heart, that in His Maj- nel Dobbin's corps, in which Mr. Osborne esty's army, or in the wide world, there himself was but an indifferent corporal, never was such a face or such a hero. " I had been reviewed by the soverign a'4 don't care about Captain Dobbin's complex- the Duke of York; and the colonel and ion," she said, 1 "or about his awkwardness. alderman had been knighted,. His son had I shall always like him, I know;' her little entered the army: and young Osborne fob reason being, that he was the friend and lowed presently in the same regiment. champion of George. They had served in the West Indies and in " There's not a finer fellow in the service," Canada. Their regiment had just, come Osborne said, " nor a better officer, though home, and the attachment of Dobbin to he is not an Adonis, certainly." And he George Osborne was as warm and generlooked toward the glass himself with much ous now, as it had been, when the two were naivete'; and in so doing, caught Miss Sharp's schoolboys. eye fixed keenly upon him, at which he So these worthy people sat down to dina blushed a little, and Rebecca thought in her ner presently. They talked about war and heart, "Ah, mon beau Monsieur! I think I glory, and Boney and Lord Wellington, and have your gage"-the.little artful minx! the last gazette. In thQse famous days That evening, when Amelia came trip- every gazette had a victory in it, and the ping into the drawing-room in a white mus- two gallant young Men longed to see their lin frock, prepared for conquest at Vauxhall, own names in the glorious list, and curod, singing like a lark, and as fresh as a rose-a their unlucky fate to belong t a regimenat very tall, ungainly gentleman, with large which had been away from the eainces of hands and feet, and large ears set off by a honor. Miss Sharp kindled with this exclosely cropped head of black hair, and in citing talk, but Miss Sedley trembled and the hideous, military frogged coat and cock- grew quite faint as she heard it, Mr. Joe ed-hat of those times, advanced to meet her, told several of his tiger-hunting stories, finand made her one of the clumsiest bows that ished the one about Miss Cutler and Lance was ever performed by a mortal. the surgeon: helped Rebecca to every thing This was no other than Captain William on the table, and himself gobbled and drank Dobbin, of His Majesty's - Regiment of a great deal. Foot, returned from yellow fever, in the He sprang to open the door for the ladies, West Indies, to which the fortune of the when they retired, with the most killing service had ordered his regiment, while so grace-and coming back to the table, filled many of his gallant comrades were reaping himself bumper after bumper of claret, glory in the Peninsula. which he swallowed with nervous rapidity. He had arrived with a knock so very timid "He's priming himself," Osborne whisand quiet, that it was inaudible to the ladies pered to Dobbin, and at length the hour and up-stairs: oth'erwe,: you may be sure Miss the carriage arrived for Vauxlhall. VANITY FAIR. CHAPTER VI a staff rent in twain by the flash, were all, that remained of stout Will Steadfast. A hackney coachman had been blown off his 1 KNOW that the tune I am piping is a coach-box, in Southampton Row - and very mild one (although there are some ter- whither? But the whirlwind tells no tirific chapters coming presently), and must dings of its victim, save his parting scream beg the good-natured reader to remember, as he is borne onward! Horrible night! It that we are only discoursing at present, was dark, pitch dark; no moon. No, no. about a stock-broker's family in Russell- No moon. Not a star. Not a little feeble, square, who are taking walks, or luncheon, twinkling, solitary star. There had been or dinner, or talking and making love as peo- one at early evening, but he showed his ple do in common life, and without a single face, shuddering, for a moment in the black passionate and wonderful incident to mark heaven, and then retreated back. the progress of their loves. The argument One, two, three! It is the signal that stands thus-Osborne in love with Amelia, Black Vizard had agreed on. has asked an old friend to dinner and to "'Mofy! is that your snum?" said a Vauxhall-Jos Sedley is in love with Rebec- voice from the area. "I'll gully the dag ca. Will he marry her? That is the great and bimbole the clicky in a snuffkin." subject now in hand. " Nuffle your clod, and beladle your glumWe might have treated this subject in the banions," said Vizard, with a dreadful oath. genteel, or irr the romantic, or in the face- ", This way, men; if they screak, out with tious manner. Suppose we had laid the your snickers and slick! Look to the scene in Grosvenor-square, with the very pewter room, Blowser. You, Mark, to the same adventures —would not some people old gaff's mopus box! and I," added he, in have listened? Suppose we had shown a lower-but more horrible voice, "I will look how Lord Joseph Sedley fell in love, and to Amelia!" the Marquis of Osborne became attached to There was a dead silence. "Ha!" said Lady Amelia, with the full consent of the Vizard, "was that the click of a pistol?" duke, her noble father: or instead of the Or suppose we adopted the genteel rosesupremel' teel, suppose we had resorted water style. The Marquis of Osborne has to the entirely low, and described what was just despatched his petit tigre with a billetgoing on in Mr. Sedley's kitchen; how doux to the Lady Amelia. black Sambo was in love with the cook (as The dear creature has received it from indeed he was), and how he fought a battle the hand of her femme de chambre, Madewith the coachman in her behalf; how the moiselle Anastasie. knife-boy was caught stealing a cold shoulder Dear Marquis! what amiable politeness! of mutton, and Miss Sedley's new femme de His lordship's note contains the wished-fox chambre refused to go to bed without a wax invitation to Devonshire House! candle; such incidents might be made to "Who is that monstrous fine girl," said the provoke much delightful laughter, and be Semillant Prince G-rge of C-mbr-dge, supposed to represent scenes of " life." Or at a mansion in Piccadilly the same evening if, on the contrary, we had taken a fancy (having just arrived from the omnibus at the for the terrible, and made the lover of the opera). " My dear Sedley, in the name of new femme de chambre a professional burg- all the Cupids, introduce me to her!" lar, who bursts into the house with his "Her name, Monseigneur," said Lord band, slaughters black Sambo at the feet of Joseph, bowing gravely, "is Sedley." his master, and carries off Amelia in her " Vous avez alors un bien beau noa," said night-dress, not to be let loose again till the the young prince, turning on his heel rather third volume, we should easily have con- disappointed, and treading on the foot of an structed a tale of thrilling interest, through old gentleman who stood behind, in deep the fiery chapters of which the reader admiration of the beautiful Lady Amelia. should hurry panting. Fancy this chapter "Trente mille tonnerres!" shouted the viehaving been headed tim, writhing under the agonie du moment. THE NIGEHT ATTACKE. " I beg a thousand pardons of your grace," said the young etourdi, blushing, and bendThe night was dark and wild-the clouds ing low his fair curls. He had trodden on black-black- -ink-black. The wild wind the toe of the great captain of the age!. tore the chimney-pots from the roofs of the "Oh, Devonshire!" cried the young old houses and sent the tiles whirling and prince, to a tall and good-natured nobleman, crashing through the desolate streets. No whose features proclaimed him of the blood soul braved that tempest-the watchmen of the Cavendishes. "A word with you! shrank into their boxes,whither the search- Have you still a: mind to part with your ing rain followed thetn —where the crashing diamond necklace?" thunderbolt fell and destroyed thmen-one " I have sold it for two hundred and fifty nad so been slain opposite the Foundling. thousand pounds, to Prince Easterhazy A scorched gaberdine, a shivered lantern, here." A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. S: " Urtd c.-as war gar nicht theuer, potztau- who dropped, some hints to the lady's-maid sen$d:." exclaimed the princely Hungarian, who may have cursorily mentioned it to the ~&c., &c., &c...... cook, who carried the news, I have no doubt Thus you see, ladies, how this story might to all the tradesmen, so that Mr. Jos's marhave been written, if the author had but a riage was now talked of by a very considerminl0; for, to tell the truth, he is just as able number of persons in the Russell-square familiar with Newgate as with the palaces world. of our revered aristocracy, and has seen the It was, of course, Mrs. Sedley's opinion outside of both. But as I don't understand that her son would demean himself by a the_ language or manners of the Rookery, marriage with an artist's daughter.' "But, nor that polyglot conversation which, accord- lot', ma'am," ejaculated Mrs. Blenkinsop, ing to the fashionable novelists, is spoken by " we was only grocers when we married Mr. the leaders of ton; we must, if you please, S., who was a stock-broker's clerk, and we preserve our middle course modestly, amid hadn't five hundred pounds among -us, and those scenes and personages with which we we're rich enough now." And Amelia was arc most familiar. In a word, this chapter entirely of this opinion, to which, gradually, aboit Vauxhall would have been so exceed- the good-natured Mrs. Sedley was brought. ingly short but for the above little disquisi- Mr. Sedley was neutral. "Let Jos marry tiwta, that it scarcely would have deserved whom he likes," he said; "it's no affair of to,,me called a chapter at all. And yet it is a mine. This girl has no fortune; no more tluipter, and a very important one too. Are had Mrs. Sedley. She seems good-humored iotr-there little chapters in every body's life, and clever, and will keep him in order, perthat seem to be nothing, and yet affect all haps. Better she, my dear, than a black the rest of the history? Mrs. Sedley, and a dozen of mahogany Let us then step into the coach with the grandchildren." Russell-square party, and be off to the gar- So that every thing seemed to smile upott dens. There is barely room between Jos Rebecca's fortunes. She took Jos's arm, ani and Miss Sharp, who are on the front seat. a matter of course, on going to dinner; she Mr. Osborne sitting bodkin opposite*, between had sate by lnim on the box of his open carCaptain Dobbin and Amelia. riage (a most tremendous "buck" he was, Every soul in the coach agreed, that on as he sat there, serene, in state, driving his that night, -Jos would propose to make Re- grays), and though nobody said a word on becca Sharp Mrs. Sedley. The parents at the subject of the marriage, every body home had acquiesced in the arrangement, seemed to understand it. All she wanted though, between ourselves, old Mr. Sedley was the proposal, and ah! how Rebecca had a feeling very much akin to contempt now felt the want of a mother! a dear, tender for his son. He said he was vain, selfish, mother, who would have managed the busilazy, and effeminate. He could not endure ness in ten minutes, and, in the course of a his airs as a man of fashion, and laughed little delicate confidential conversation, would heartily at his pompous braggadocio stories. have extracted the interesting avowal from " I shall leave the fellow half my property," the bashful lips of the young man! he said, "and he will have, besides, plenty Such was the state. of affairs as the carof his own; but as I am perfectly sure that riage crossed Westminster Bridge. if you, and I, and his sister were to die to- The party was landed at the Royal Garmorrow he would say'Good Gad!' and eat dens in due time. As the majestic Jos his dinner just as well as usual, I am not stepped out of the creaking vehicle the going to make myself anxious about him. crowd gave a cheer for the fat gentleman, Let him marry whom he likes. It's no who blushed and looked very big and mighty, affair of mine." as he walked away with Rebecca under his Amelia, on the other hand, as became a arm. George, of course, took charge of young woman of her prudence and temper- Amelia. She looked as happy as a roseament, was quite enthusiastic for the match. tree in sunshine. Once or twice Jos had been on the point of " I say, Dobbin," says George, "just look saying something very important to her, to to the shawls and things, there's a good felwhich she was most willing to lend an ear, low." And so while he paired off with but the fat fellow could not be brought to Miss Sedley, and Jos squeezed through the unbosom himself of his great secret, and gate into the gardens with Rebecca at his very much to his sister's disappointment he side, honest Dobbin contented himself by only rid himself of a large sigh, and turned giving an arm to the shawls, and by paying away. at the door for the whole party. This mystery served to keep Amelia's He walked very modestly behind them. gentle bosom in a perpetual flutter of ex- He was not willing to spoil sport. About citement. If she did not speak with Re- Rebecca and Jos he did not care afig. But becca on the tender subject, she compensa- he thought Amelia worthy even of the brilted herself with long and intimate conversa- liant George Osborne, and as he saw that tionswith Mrs. Blenkinsop, the housekeeper, good-looking couple, threading the walks to S2 VANITY FAIR. the girl's delight and wonder, he watched walk, in which- there were not above Eve her artless happiness with' a sort qf fatherly score more of couples similarly straying, lthey pleasure. Perhaps he felt that he would both felt that the situation was extrenlely have liked to have something on his own tender and critical, and now or never was arm besides a shawl (the people laughed at the moment, Miss Sharp thought, to proseeing the gawky young officer carrying this voke that declaration whiclt was' trembling female burthen); but William Dobbin was on the timid lips of Mr. Sedley. They had very little addicted to selfish calculation at previously been to the panorama of Moscow, all; and so long as his friend was enjoying where a rude fellow, treading on Miss himself, -how should he be. discontented? Sharp's foot, caused her to fall back with a And the truth is, that of all the delights of little shriek into the arms of Mr. Sedley. the gardens; of the hundred thousand extra and this little incident increased the tenderlamps, which were always lighted; the fid- ness and confidence of that gentleman t6 dlers, in cocked hats, who played ravishing such a degree, that he told her several of melodies under the gilded cockle-shell in the his favorite Indian stories over again for, at midst of the gardens; the singers, both of least, the sixth time. comic and sentimental ballads, who charmed "How I should like to see India!" said the ears there; the country dances, formed Rebecca. by bouncing cockneys and cockneyesses, "Should you?" said Joseph, with a mest and executed amid jumping, thumping, and killing tenderness; and was no doubt al:ut laughter; the signal which announced that to follow up this artful interrogatory 4bay Madame Saqui was about to mount skyward question still more tender (for he puffed/aud on a slack-rope ascending to the stars; the panted a great deal, and Rebecca's hand, hermit that always sat in the illuminated which was placed near his heart, could count hermitage; the dark walks, so favorable to the feverish pulsations of that organ), when, the interviews of young lovers; the pots of oh, provoking! the bell rang for the firestout handed about by the people in the works, and a great scuffling and running shabby old liveries and the twinkling boxes, taking place, these interesting lovers were in which the happy feasters made-believe to obliged to follow in the stream of the people, eat slices of almost invisible ham; of all these Captain Dobbin had some thoughts of things, and of the gentle Simpson, that kind joining the party at supper; as, in truth, he smiling idiot, who, I dare say, presided even found the Vauxhall amusement not particuthen over the place-Captain William Dob- larly lively-but he paraded tw'ice before the bin did not take the slightest notice. box where the now united couples were He carried about Amelia's white cash- met, and nobody took any notice of him. mere shawl, and having attended under the Covers were laid for four. The mated gilt cockle-shell, while Mrs. Salmon per- pairs were prattling away quite happily, and formed the Battle of Borodino (a savage Dobbin knew he was as clean forgotten as if cantata against the Corsican upstart, who he had never existed in this world. had lately met with his Russian reverses)- "I should only be de trop," said the capMr. Dobbin tried to hum it as lie walked tain, looking at them rather wistfully. "I'd away, and found he. was humming —the best go and talk to the hermit"-and so he tune which Amelia Sedley sang on the strolled off out of the hum of men, and noise, stairs, as she came down to dinner. and clatter of the banquet, into the dark walk, He burst out laughing at himself; for the at the end of which lived that well-known truth is, he could sing no better than an pasteboard solitary. It wasn't very good fun owl. for Dobbin-and, indeed, to be alone at Vauxhall, I have found, frbm my own experience, It is to be understood, as a matter of to be one of the most dismal sports ever encourse, that our young people, being in par- tered into by a bachelor. ties of two and two, made the most solemn The two couples were perfectly happy promises to keep together during the even- then in their box: where the most delightilng, and separated in ten minutes afterward. ful and intimate conversation took place Parties at Vauxhall always did separate, but Jos was in his glory; ordering about the'twas only to meet again at supper-time, waiters with great majesty. He made the when they could talk of their mutual adven- salad; and uncorked the champagne; and tures in the interval. carved the chickens; and ate and drank the What were the adventures of Mr. Os- greater part of the refreshments on the taborne and Miss Amelia? That is a secret. bles. Finally, he insisted upon having a But be sure of this-they were perfectly bowl of rack punch; every body had rack happy, and correct in their behavior; and punch at Vauxhall. "; Waiter, rack punch." as they had been in the habit of being to- That bowl of rack punch was the cause of gether any time these fifteen years, their all this history. And why not a bowl of tte-ted-tgte offered no particular novlty. rack punch as well as any other cause? But when Miss Rebecca Sharp and her Was not a bowl of prussic acid the cause of stout companion lost themselves in a solitary fair Rosamond's retiring from the world? .-. —-— ~_._c. —' ~."___-'77~~~~~~~~~~~~' //j 1 ~t i c (1 i` i;;~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~';Mnile I____,. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Il A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 33 Was not a bowl of wine the cause of the de- Then, seizing Captain Dobbin's hand, and mise of Alexander the Great, or at least, weeping in the most pitiful way, he confided to does not Dr. Lempriere say so?-so did this that gentleman the secret of his loves. He bowl of rack punch influence the fates of all adored that girl who had just gone out; he' the principal characters in this "Novel with- had broken her heart, he knew he had, by out a Hero," which we are now relating. his conduct; he would marry her next mornIt influenced their life, although most of ing, at St. George's, Hanover-square; he'd them did not taste a drop of it. knock up the Archbishop of Canterbury, at The young ladies did not drink it; Os- Lambeth: he would, by Jove! and have borne did not like it; and the consequence him in readiness; and, acting on this hint, was that Jos, that fat gourmand drank up Captain Dobbin shrewdly induced him to the whole contents of the bowl; and the leave the gardens and hasten to Lambeth consequence of his drinking up the whole palace, and, when once out of the gates, contents of the bowl was, a liveliness which easily conveyed this fat bacchanalian into a was at first astonishing: and then became hackney-coach, which deposited him safely almost painful; for he talked and laughed so at his lodgings. loud as to bring scores of listeners round the box, much to the confusion of the innocent George Osborne conducte'd the girls home party within it; and, volunteering to sing a in safety: and when the door was closed song (which he did in that maudlin high-key upon them, and as he walked across Russellpeculiar to gentlemen in an inebriated state), square, laughed so as to astonish the' watchhe almost drew away the audience who man. Amelia looked very ruefully at her were gathered round the musicians in the friend, as they went up-stairs, and kissed gilt scollop-shell, and received from his hear- her, and went to bed without any more ers a great deal of applause. talking. "Brayvo, fat'un!" said one; "Angcore, Daniel Lambert!" said another; "What a "He must propose to-morrow," thought figure for the tight-rope!" exclaimed another Rebecca. " He called me his soul's darling, wag, to the inexpressible tdarm of the ladies, four times; he squeezed my hand in Amelia's and the great anger of Mr. Osborne. - presence. He must propose, to-morrow." "' For Heaven's sake, Jos, let us get up And so thought Amelia, too. And I dare and go," cried that gentleman, and the young say she thought of the dress she was to women rose. wear as bride's-maid, and of the presents " Stop, my dearest diddle-diddle-darling," which she should make to her nice little shouted Jos, now as bold as a lion, and clasp- sister-in-law, and of a subsequent ceremony ing Miss Rebecca round the wast. Rebecca in which she herself might play a principal started, but she could not get away her hand. part, &c., and &c., and &c., and &c. The laughter outside redoubled. Jos con- Oh, ignorant young creatures! How little tinued to drink, to make love, and to sing; do you know of the effect of rack-punch! and winking and waving his glass gracefully What is the rack in the punch, at night, to to his audience, challenged all or any to the rack in the head of a morning? To this come in and take a share of his punch. truth I can vouch as a man: there is-no Mr. Osborne was just on the point of headache in the world like that caused by knocking down a gentleman in top-boots, Vauxhallpunch. Through thelapseoftwenwho proposed to take advantage of this in- ty years, I can remember the consequence vitation, and a commotion seemed to be inev- of two glasses!-two wine-glasses!-but itable, when, by the greatest good luck, a two, upon the honor of a gentleman; and gentleman by the name of Dobbie. who had Joseph Sedley, who had a liver complaint, been walking about the gardens, stepped up had swallowed at least a quart of the abomi to the box. " Be off, you foolth!" said this nable mixture. gentleman-shouldering off a great number That next morning, which Rebecca thought of the crowd, who vanished presently before was to dawn upon her fortune, found Sedley his cocked hat and fierce appearance-and groaning in agonies which the pen refuses to he entered the box in a most agitated state. describe. Soda-water was not invented yet. "Good Heavens! Dobbin, where have you Small beer-will it be believed?-was the been?" Osborne said, seizing the white cash- only drink with which unhappy.gentlemen mere shawl from his friend's arm, and hud- soothed the fever of their previous night's dling up Amelia in it. "' Vike yourself use- potation. With this mild beverage before ful and take charge of Jos here, while I take him, George Osborne found the ex-collector the ladies to the carriage." of B oggley Wollah groaning on the sofa at his Jos was for rising to interfere-but a single lodgings. Dobbin was already in the room, push from Osborne's finger sent him puffing good-naturedly tending his patient of the back into his seat again, and the lieutenant night before. The two officers looking at was enabled to remove the ladies in safety. the prostrate bacchanalian, and- askance at Jos kissed his hand to them as they retreated, each other, exchanged the most frightful and hiccupped out, Bless you! Bless you! sympathetic grins. Even Sedley's valt,. C 34 ANITY FAIR. the most sleamn and correct of gentlemen, said to his friend's remonstrances, when with the muteness and gravity of an under- they quitted the invalid, leaving him under taker, could hardly keep his countenance in the hands of Doctor Glauber. "What the brder, as he looked at his unfortunate mas- deuce right has he to give himself his pa. ter. tronizing airs, and make fools of us at Vaux. "Mr. Sedley was uncommon wild last hall? Who's this little school-girl that is night, sir," he whispered in confidence to ogling and making love to him? Hang it, Osborne, as the latter mounted the stair. the family's low enough already, without "He wanted to fight the'ackney-coachman, her. A governess is all very well, but I'd sir. The capting was obliged to bring him rather have a lady for my sister-in-law. I'm up stairs in his harms like a baby." A mo- a liberal man: but I've proper pride, and mentary smile flickered over Mr. Brush's know my own station: let her know hers. features as he spoke; instantly, however, And I'll take down that great hectoring nathey relapsed into their usual unfathomable bob, and prevent him from being made a calm, as he flung open the drawing-room greater fool than he is. That's why I tola door, and announced "Mr. Hosbin." him to look out, lest she brought an action "How are you, Sedley?" that young wag against him." began, after surveying his victim. "No "I suppose you know best," Dobbin said, bones broke? There's a hackney-coachman though rather dubiously. "You always down stairs with a black eye, and a tied up were a Tory, and your family's one of the head, vowing he'll have the law of you." oldest in England. But""What do you mean-law?" Sedley faint- "Come and see the girls, and make love ly asked. to Miss Sharp yourself," the lieutenant here " For thrashing him last night-didn't he, interrupted his friend; but Captain Dobbin Dobbin? You hit out, sir, like Molyneux. declined to join Osborne in his daily visit to The watchman says he never saw a fellow the young ladies in Russell-square. go down so straight. Ask Dobbin." As he walked down Southampton-row, "You did have a round with the coach- from Holborn, he laughed as he saw, at the man," Captain Dobbin said,'and showed Sedley mansion, i'two different stories, two plenty of fight too." heads on the look-out.;And that fellow with a white coat at The fact is, Miss Amelia, in the drawing-.Vauxhall! How Jos drove at him! How room balcony, was looking very eagerly tothe women screamed! By Jove, sir, it did ward the opposite side of the square, where my heart good to see you. I thought you Mr. Osborne dwelt, on the watch for the civilians had nop pluck; but I'll never get in lieutenant himself; and Miss Sharp, from your way when you are in your cups, Jos." her little bed-room on the second floor, was "I believe I'm very terrible, wvhem I'm in observation until Mr. Joseph's great form roused," ejaculated Jos from the sofa, and should heave in sight. made a grimace so dreary and ludicrous, "Sister Anne is on the watch-tower," that the captain's politeness could restrain said he to Amelia, "but there's nobody him no longer, and he and Osborne fired off coming;" and laughing and enjoying the a ringing volley of laughter. joke hugely, he described in the most luOsborne pursued his advantage pitilessly. dicrous terms to Miss Sedley, the dismal HIe thought Jos a milksop. He had been:condition ofher brother. revolving in his rmind the marriage question "I think it's very cruel of you to laugh, pending between Jos and Rebecca, and was George," she said, looking particularly unnot over-well pleased that a member of a happy; but George only laughed the more family into which he, George Osborne, of at her piteous and dcomforted mien, perthe -th, was going to marry, should make sisted: in thinking the joke a most diverting a misalliance with a little nobody-a little one, and when Miss Sharp came down upstart governess. "You hit, you poor stairs, bantered her with a great deal of old fellow!" said Osborne. "You terrible! liveliness upon the effect of her charms on Why, man, you couldn't stand-you made the fat civilian. every body laugh in the gardens, though you "0 Miss Sharp! if you could but see were crying yourself. You were maudlin, him this morning," he said, "moaning in his Jos. Don't.youremember singing a song?"* flowered dressing-gown-writhing on his' A what?" Jos asked. sofa; if you could but see him lolling out his "A sentimental song, and calling Rosa, tongue to Glaubelthe apothecary." Rebecca, what's her name, Amelia's little "See whom?" said Miss Sharp. friend-your dearest diddle-diddle-darling?" "Whom? O whom? Captain Dobbin, of And this ruthless young fellow, seizing hold course, to whom- we were all so attentive, of Dobbin's hand, acted over the scene, to by the way, last night." the horror of the oirigial perfonrmer, and in "We were very unkind to him," Emmy spite of Dobbin's go4q4-ted eatestiea to said, b!ushing very much. "I-I quite forhim to have mercy. got him." a y".Vl, should I spare I Osborn6 "Of course you did," criedO Qsm, sti A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 35 on the laugh. "' One can't be always think- Pray excuse me, if you can, to the amiable ing about Dobbin, you know, Amelia. Can Miss Sharp, for my conduct at Vauxhall, one Miss Sharp?" and entreat her to pardon and forget every ":Except when he overset the glass of word I may have uttered when excited by wine at dinner," Miss Sharp said, with a that, fatal supper. As soon as I have recovhaughty air, and a toss of the head, " I never ered, for my health is very much shaken, I gave the existence of Captain Dobbin one shall go to Scotland for some months, and single moment's consideration." am Truly yours, " Very good, Miss Sharp, I'll tell him," Osborne said; and as he spoke Miss Sharp "JOS. SEDLEY." began to have a feeling of distrust and hatred toward this young officer, which he was It was the death-warrant. All was over. quite unconscious of having inspired. " He Amelia did not dare to look at Rebecca's is to make fun of me, is he?" thought Re- pale face and burning eyes, but she dropped becca. "Has he been laughing about me to the letter into her friend's lap; and got up, Joseiph? Has he frightened him? Per- and went up-stairs to her room, and cried haps he won't come." A film passed over her little heart out. her eyes, and her heart beat quite thick. Blenkinsop, the housekeeper, there sought "You're always joking," said she, smiling, her presently with consolation; on whose as innocently as she could. "Joke away, shoulder Amelia wept confidentially, and reMr. George; there's nobody to defend me." lieved herself a good deal. "I Don't take on, And George Osborne, as she walked away Miss. I didn't like to tell you. But none -and Amelia looked reprovingly at him- of us in the house have liked her except at felt some little manly coInpunction for having fust. I sor her with my own eyes reading inflicted any unnecessary unkindness upon your Ma's letters. Pinner says she's althis helpless creature. "My dearest Ame- ways aboutyour trinket-box and drawers, and lia," said he, "you are too good-too kind. every body's drawers, and she's sure she's You don't know the world. I do. And put your white ribbing into her box." your little friend Miss Sharp must learn her "I gave it her, I gave it her," Amelia rtation." said. "Don't you think Jos will-" But this did not alter Mrs. Blenkinsop's'Upon my word, my dear, I don't know. opinion of Miss Sharp. "I don't trust them fie may, or may not. I'm not his master. governesses, Pinner, they're neither one < only know he is a very, foolish vain fellow, thing nor t'other. They give themselves and put my dear little girl into a very the hairs and hupstarts of ladies, and their painful and awkward position last night. wages is no better than you nor me." My dearest diddle-diddle-darling!" He It now became clear to every soul in the was off laughing again; and he did it so house, except poor Amelia, that Rebecca drolly that Emmy laughed too. should take her departure, and high and All that day Jos never came. But Ame- low (always with the one exception) agreed lia had no fear about this; for the little that that event should take place as.speedily schemer had actually sent away the page, as possible. Our good child ransacked all Mr. Sambo's aid-de-camp, to Mr. Joseph's her drawers, cupboards, reticules, and gimlodgings, to ask for some book he had prom- crack boxes-passed in review all her gowns, ised, and how he was; and the reply through fichus, tags, bobbins, laces, silk stockings, Jos's man, Mr. Brush, was, that his master and fallals-selecting this thing and that and was ill in bed, and had just had the doctor the other, to make a little heap for Rebecwith him. HIe must come to-morrow, she ca. And going to her papa, that generous thought, but she never had the courage to British merchant, who had promised to give speak a word on the subject to Rebecca; her as many guineas as she was years oldnor did that young woman herself allude to she begged the old gentleman to give the it in any way during the whole evening after money to dear Rebecca, who must want it the night at Vauxhall. while she lacked for nothing.. The next day, however, as the two young She even made George Osborne conladies sate on the sofa, pretending to work, tribute, and nothing loth (for he was er or to write letters, or to read novels, Sambo firee-handed a young fellow as any in thl6 came into the room with his usual engaging army), he went to Bond-street, and bought grin, with a packet under his arm, and a the best hat and spencer that money could note on a tray. "Note from Mr. Jos, buy. B1.iss," says Sambo. "That's George's present to you, RebecHow Amelia trembled as she onened it! ca, dear," said Amelia, quite proud of the So it ran:- bandbox conveying these gifts. "What a taste he has! There's nobody like him." "D)EAR AMELIA-I send you the Orphan " Nobody," Rebecca answered. "How 64) the Forest. I was too ll to come yester- thankful I am to him!" She was thinking day I leave town to-dav for Cheltenham. in her heart "It was George Osbo~rne who 36 VANITY FAIR. prevented my marriage. And she loved a pklce as it had been in Queen Bess s time George Osborne accordingly. -nay, was come down to that condition of She made her preparations for depart- borough which used to be denominated roture with great equanimity; and accepted ten-yet, as Sir Pitt Crawley would say all the kind little Amelia's presents, after. with perfect justice in his elegant way, just the proper degree of hesitation and re- "Rotten! be hanged-it produces me a good luctance. She vowed eternal gratitude to fifteen hundred a year," Mrs. Sedley, of course; but did not intrude Sir Pitt Crawley (named after the great herself upon that good lady too much, who commoner), was the son of Walpole Crawwas embarrassed, and evidently wishing to ley, first baronet, of the Tape and Sealingavoid her. She kissed Mr. Sedley's hand, Wax Office in the reign of George II., when when he presented her with the purse; and he was impeached for peculation, as were a asked permission to consider him for the great number of other honest gentlemen of future as her kind, kind friend and protector. those days; and Walpole Crawley was, as Her behavior was so affecting that he was need scarcely be said, son of John Churchill going to write her a check for twenty pounds Crawley, named after the celebrated military more; but he restrained his feelings: the commander of the reign of Queen Anne. carriage was in waiting to take him to din- The family tree (which hangs up atQueen's ner: so he tripped away with a 1" God bless Crawley), furthermore mentions Charles you, my dear. Always come here when Stuart, afterward called Barebones Crawyou come to town, you know. Drive to ley's son, the Crawley of James the First's the Mansion House, James." time, and finally, Queen.Elizabeth's Craw"Finally came the parting with Miss ley, who is represented.as the foreground Amelia, over which picture I intend to of the picture in his forked beard and armor. throw a vail. But after a scene in which Out of his waistcoat, as usual, grows a tree, one person was in earnest and the other a on the main branches of which the above perfect- performer-after the tenderest ca- illustrious names are inscribed. Close -by resses, the most pathetic tears, the smelling- the name of Sir Pitt Crawley, Baronet (the bottle, and some of the very best feelings of subject of the present memoir), are written the heart, had been called into requisition- that of his brother, the Reverend Bute Rebecca and Amelia parted, the former Crawley (the great commoner was in disvowing to love her friend forever and ever grace when the reverend gentleman was and ever. born), rector of Crawley-cuiff-Snailby, and of various other male and female members of the Crawley family. Sir Pitt was first married to Grizzel, sixth CHAPTER VII. daughter of Mungo Binkie, Lord Binkie, and cousin, in consequence of Mr. Dundas. CRAWLEY OF QUEEN'S CRAWLEY. She brought him two sons: Pitt, named not so much after his father as after the heavenAMONG the most respected of the names born minister; and Rawdon Crawley, from beginning in C, which the Court-Guide con- the Prince of Wales's friend, whom his tained, in the year 18-, was that of Craw- Majesty George IV. forgot so completely. ley, Sir Pitt, Baronet, Great Gaunt-street, Many years after her ladyship's demise, Sir and Queen's Crawley, Hants. This honor- Pitt led to the altar Rosa, daughter of Mr. able name had figured constantly also in the G(. Grafton of Mudbury, by whom he had parliamentary list for many years, in con- two daughters, for whose benefit Miss Rejunction with that of a number of other becca Sharp was now engaged as governess. worthy gentlemen who sat in turns for the It will be seen that the young lady was come borough. into a family of very genteel connections, It is related, with regard to the borough and was about to move in a much more disof Queen's Crawley, that Queen Elizabeth tinguished circle than that humble one which in one of her progresses, stopping at Craw- she had just quitted in Russell-square. ley to breakfast, was so delighted with some She had received her orders to join her remarkably fine Hampshire beer which was pupils, in a note which was written upon an then presented to her by the Crawley of the old envelope, and which contained the fol day (a handsome gentleman with a trim lowing wordsbeard and a good leg), that she forthwith erected Crawley into a borough to send two " Sir Pitt Crawley begs Miss Sharp and members to parliament; and the place, from baggidge may be hear on Tuesday, as I leaI the day of that illustrious visit, took the for Queen's Crawley to-morrow morning name of Queen's Crawley, which it holds erly. up to the present moment. And though by "Great Gaunt Street." the lapse of time, and those mutations which ages produce in empires, cities, and boroughs, Rebecca had never seen a baronet, as far Queen's Crawley was no longer so populous as she knew, and as soon as she had takes ~,,~.,//"-';'" "~:~~l'trt?;'~": i~i,,rIiI~ei' I'~-,. r7~~~~~~~~~~'.j,.', r', "~ gff,, Li,1,'.~_ -IIII ~. -~-.) - i.,Mi~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,i EECCA MAE CQUAITANCF WIT A LIVE BR ON'''iI~ ~ ~ j,''NI F~BC. KiSt &.QJINAU W1L A, LIV Bi4AEI (rl~; ~ S A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 87 leave of Amelia, and counted the guineas l descended from the carriage in much indigwhich good-natured Mr. Sedley had put nation. "I shall write to Mr. Sedley and into a purse for her, and as soon as she had inform him of your conduct," said she to the done wiping her eyes with her handkerchief groom. (which operation she concluded the very "Don't." replied that functionary. "I moment the carriage had turned the corner hope you've forgot nothink? Miss'lielia's of the street), she began to depict in her own gownds-have you got them-as the lady'smind what a baronet must be. "I wonder, maid was to have'ad? I hope they'll fit does he wear a star?" thought she, " or is you. Shut the door, Jim, you'll get no good it only lords that wear stars? But he will out of'er," continued John, pointing with be very handsomely dressed in a court suit, his thumb toward Miss Sharp: " a bad lot, with ruffles, and his hair a little powdered, I tell you, a bad lot, and so saying, Mr. like N1r. Wroughton at Covent Garden. I Sedley's groom drove away. The truth is, suppose he will be awfully proud, and that I he was attached to the lady's-maid in quesshall be treated most contemptuously. Still tion, and indignant that she should have been I must bear my hard lot as well as I can- robbed of her perquisites. at least, I shall be among gentlefolks, and not On entering the dining-room, by the orwith vulgar city people:" and she fell to ders of the individual in gaiters, Rebecca thinking of her Russell-square friends with found that apartment not more cheerful than that very same philosophical bitterness with such rooms usually are, when genteel famiwhich, in a certain apologue, the fox is rep- lies are out of town. The faithful chambers resented as speaking of the grapes.. seem, as it were, to mourn the absence of Having passed through Shiverly-square their masters. The Turkey carpet has into Great Gaunt-street, the carriage at rolled itself up, and retired sulkily under length stopped at a tall, gloomy house be- the sideboard: te pictures have hidden tween two other tall, gloomy houses, each their faces behind old sheets of brown pawith a hatchment over the middle drawing- per: the ceiling lamp is muffled up in a room window; as is the custom of houses dismal sack of brown holland: the windowin Great Gaunt-street, in which gloomy lo- curtains have disappeared under all sorts of cality death seems to reign perpetual. The shabby envelopes: the marble bust of Sir shutters of the first floor windows of Sir Walpole Crawley is looking from its black Pitt's mansion were closed-those of the corner at the bare boards and the oiled firedining-room were partially open, and the irons,'and the empty card-racks over the blinds neatly covered up in old newspapers. mantel-piece: the cellaret has lurked away John, the groom, who had driven the car- behind the carpet: the chairs are turned up riage alone, did not care to descend to ring heads and tails along the walls: and in the the bell; aud so prayed a passing milk-boy dark corner opposite the statue, is an oldto perform thathffice for him. When the fashioned crabbed knife-box, locked and sitbell was rung, a head appeared between the ting on a dumb waiter. interstices of the dining-room shutters, and Two kitchen chairs, and a round table, the door was opened by a man in drab and an attenuated oldpoker and tongs were, breeches and gaiters, with a dirty old coat, a however, gathered round the fireplace, a foul old neckcloth lashed round his bristly was a saucepan over a feeble sputtering fire. neck, a shining bald head, a leering red face, There was a bit of cheese and bread, and a a pair of twinkling gray eyes, and a mouth tin candlestick on the table, and a little blaclperpetually on the grin. porter in a pint-pot. "This Sir Pitt Crawley's?" says John, "' Had your dinner? I suppose. It is not from the box. too warm for you? Like a drop of beer?" "Ees,'" says the man at the door, with a "'Where is Sir Pitt Crawley?" asked nod. Miss Sharp majestically. "Hand down these'ere trunks, then," "He, he! I be Sir Pitt Crawley. Reksaid John. lect you owe me a pint for bringing down "Hand'n down yourself," said the porter. your luggage. He, he! Ask Tinker if I "Don't you see I can't leave my hosses? baynt. Mrs. Tinker, Miss Sharp; Miss Come, bear a hand, my fine feller, and Miss Governess, Mrs. Charwoman. Ho, ho!" will give you some beer," said John, with a The lady addressed as Mrs. Tinker, at horse-laugh, for he was no longer respectful this moment made her appearance with a to Miss Sharp, as her connection with the pipe and a paper of tobacco, for which she family was broken off, and as she had given had been dispatched a minute before Miss nothing to the servants onecoming away. Sharp's arrival; and she handed the articles The bald-headed map, taking his hands over to Sir Pitt, who had taken his seat by out of his breeches pockets, advanced on this the fire. summons, and throwing Miss Sharp's trunk "Where's the farden?" Said he. "I over his shoulder, carried it into the house. gave you three halfpence. Where's the " Take this basket and shawl, if you please, change? old Tinker." and open the door," sAid Miss Sharp; and 6" There!" replied Mrs. Tinker, flinging 38 YVANITY FAIR. down the coin; "it's only baronets as cares orphan, simply; " but she was a valyble about farthings." woman to me, and saved- me a steward." "A farthing a day is seven shillings a And in this confidential strain, and much to year," answered the M.P.; "seven shill- the amusement of the new-comer, the conings a year is the interest of seven guineas. versation continued for a considerable time. Take care of your farthings, old Tinker, and Whatever Sir Pitt Crawley's qualities might your guineas will come quite nat'ral." be, good or bad, he did not make the least "You may be sure it's Sir Pitt Crawley, disguise of them. He talked of himself inyoung woman," said Mrs. Tinker, surlily; cessantly, sometimes in the coarsest and vul" because he looks to his farthings. You'll garest Hampshire accent; sometimes adoptknow him better afore long." ing the tone of a man of thle world. And "And like me none the worse, Miss so, with injunctions to Miss Sharp to be Sharp," said the old gentleman, with an air ready at five in the morning, he bade her almost of politeness. "I must be just before good night. " You'll sleep with Tinker toI'm generous." night," he said; " It's a big bed, and there's "He never gave away a farthing in his room for two. Lady Crawley died in it. life," growled Tinker. Good night." "Never, and never will: it's against my Sir Pitt went off after this benediction, principle. Go and get another chair from and the solemn Tinker, rushlight in hand, the kitchen, Tinker, if you want to sit down; led the way up the great, bleak, stone stairs, and then we'll have a bit of supper." past the great, dreary drawing-room doors, Presently the baronet plunged a fork into with the handles muffled up in papel, into the saucepan on the fire, and withdrew fiom the great, front bed-room, where Lady the pot a piece of tripe and an onion, which Crawley had slept her last. The bed and he divided into pretty eqiul portions, and of chamber were so funereal and gloomy, you which he partook with Mrs. Tinker. " You might have fancied, not only that Lady Crawsee, Miss Sharp, when I'm not here, Tink- ley died in the room, but that her ghost iner's on board wages: when I'm in town, she habited it. Rebecca sprang about the apartdines with the family. Haw! haw! I'm ment, however, with the greatest liveliness, glad Miss Sharp's not hungry, ain't you, and had peeped into the huge wardrobes, Tink?" And they fell to upon their frugal and the closets, and the cupboards, and tried supper. the drawers which were locked, and examAfter supper, Sir Pitt Crawley began to ined the dreary pictures and toilet appointsmoke his pipe; and when it became quite meats, while the old charmowan was saying dark, he lighted the rushlight in the tin can- her prayers. "I shouldn't like to sleep in dlestick, and producing from an interminable this yeer bed without a good conscience, pocket a huge mass of papers, began read- Miss," said the old woman " There's room ing them, and putting them in order. for us and a half-dozen ofrfosts in it," says I'm here on law business, my dear, and Rebecca. "Tell me all about Lady Crawthat's how it happens that I shall have the ley and Sir Pitt Crawley, and every body, pleasure of such a pretty traveling compan- my dear Mrs. Tinker." -on to-morrow." But old Tinker was not to be pumped by H' "e's always at law business," said Mrs. this little cross-questioner; and signifying to Tinker, takifg up the pot of porter. her that bed was a place for sleeping, not " Drink and drink about," said the bar- conversation, set up in her corner of the bed onet. " Yes, my dear, Tinker is quite right: such a snore as only the nose of innocence I've lost and won more lawsuits than any car produce. Rebecca lay awake for a long, man in England. Look here at Crawley, long time, thinking of the morrow, and of Bart. v. Snaffle. I'll throw him over, or the new world into which she was going, my name's'not Pitt Crawley. Podder and and of her chances of success there. The another versus Crawley, Bart. Overseers rushlight flickered in the basin. The manof Snaily parish against Crawley, Bart. tel-piece cast up a great, black shadow, over They can't prove it's common: I'll defy half of a mouldy old samplet, which her de-'em; the land's mine. It no more belongs I anct ladyship had worked, no doubt, and to the parish than it does to you or Tinker over two little family pictures of young lads, here. I'll beat'em, if it cost me a thousand one in a college gown, and the other in a red guineas. Look over the papers; you may jacket, like a soldier. When she went to if you like, my dear. Do you write a good sleep, Rebecca chose that one to dream hand? I'll make you useful when we're at about. Queen's Crawley, depend on it, Miss Sharp. Now the dowager's dead, I want some one." At four o'clock, on such a roseate sum "She was as bad as he," said Tinker. iner's morning as even made Great Gaunt"She took the law of every one of her trades- street look cheerful, the faithful Tinker, men; and turned away forty-eight footmen having wakened her bed-fellow, and bid heet in four year." prepare for departure, unbarred and unbolt " She was close-very close," said the ed the great hall door (the clanging and clap A NOVEL WITfrlO1 A HERO. ping whereof statted the sleeping echoen in here. -Biut the rer f these paterst, Who the street), and taking hur way into Ojfrd- hath p bursld in former days,; an ii thie street, summoned a coach from the stand same bright weather, thi iam imaihbl there. It is needless to paitticularize the journey, cannot butfi ink of itwith a sweet number of the vehicle, or to state that the and tender regret. What is the roidl noi', driver was stationed thus early:in the neigh- and its merry rcidents of lifb? Is their borhood of Swallow-street, min hopes that no Chelsea or Greenwich foir the old, hensome young buck, reeling homeward from est, pimple-nosed coachmen? I wonder the tavern, might need the aid of his vehi- where are they, those good fellows It h 61d cle, and pay him with the generosity of in- Weller alive or dead? and theb*oters, yea, toxication. and the inns at which they waitt^ and the It is likewise needless to say, that the cold-rotnds-of-beef inside, and the stunted driver, if he had any such hopes as those ostler, with his blue nose and clbnking pail, stated, was grossly disappointed; and that where is he, and where is his generation? the worthy baronet whom he drove to the To those great geniuses now in petticuats, city did not give him one single penny more who shall write novels for the beloved readthan his fare. It was in vain that Jehu ap- er's children, these men and things will be pealed and stormed; that he flung down as much legend and history- Nineveh, Miss Sharp's bandboxes in.the gutter at the Coeur de Lion, or Jack Sheppalrd. er'Necks, and swore he would take the law them, stage-coaches will have becote roof his fare. mances-a team of four bays InA fihbiuifa.S " You'd better not," said one of the ost- Buticephalus or Black Bess. Ah, how'their lers; " it's Sir Pitt Crawley." coats shone, as the stable-men pulled their " So it is, Joe," cried the baronet, approv- clothes off, and away they went-ah, how ingly; "and I'd like to see the man can do their tails shoo4 as with smoking sides at me." the stage's end they demiuely walked awly " So should oi," said Joe, grinning sulkily, into the inn-yard. Alas! we shall never hear and mounting the baronet's baggage on the the horn sing at midnight, or see the pikeroof of the coach. gates fly open any more. Whither, how" Keep the box for me, Leader," exclaims ever, is the light, four-inside Trafalgar coach the member of Parliament to the coachman; carrying us? Let us be set down at Queen's who replied, " Yes, Sir Pitt," with a touch Crawley, without further divagmitin;, and of his hat, and rage in his soul (for he bad see howi Miss Rebecca Sharp speeds there. promised the box to a young gentleman from Cambridge, who would have given a croWn to a certainty), and Miss Sharp was accommodated with a back seat inside the carriage, CH[APTER TVII. which may bb.Aid. to be carrying her into the wide world. PRIVATE AID CONFIDENTIAL How the young man fromt Cambridge Miss Rebecca Shaep to Ms Amel Sediey, sulkily put his five great coats in front; but Russell-squadre, d was reconciled when little Miss Sharp was (FreePittCrawley) made to quit the carriage, and mount up be-ley.) side him-when he covered her up in one " Mr DEAREST, SWEETEST AMELrA, of his Benjamins, and -beeame perfectly With what mingled joy and sorrow do I good-humored -how the asthmatic gentle- take up the pen to Wfite to my dearest man, the prim lady, who declared upon her friend! Oh, what a change bett6en: tosacred honor she had never traveled in a day and yesterday! Now I- dmi findles public carriage before (there is always such and alone; yesterday I As At home, in the a lady in a coach.-Altr! iaWa; or the swet-ccompany of a 6istibrwhom I shall ever, coaches, where are they?), and the fat eei cherish! widow with the brandy-bottle, took their "I will not tell you in what tears anad atdplaces inside-show the porter asked them ness I passed the fatal night in which I sepall for mioney, and got sixpence from the arated firom you. You went on Tiuesday to gentleman and five greasy halfpence from joy and happiness, with your mother jud the fat widow-and how the carriage at your devoted young oldier by your aide; length drove away-now, threading the dark and I thought of yu all night, dathcbic it lanes of Aldersgate, anon clattering by the the Perkins's; hke prettiest, I am eeIe; of Blute CSupola of Pkatx, jingling rapii by anll the young l&dies at the ball. I is the strangers' entry of Pleet-Ma-ket;, Which, i btught by the groom in the old daryi4 to with Exeter'Change, hai now depetd to SirfPitt Crawley's to-wn-hotse,w whe after the world d shadows-hqi theyPss-ed the John the groom had behaved it&- rudely White Bear hid Piccadilly, and sav th dl E* and insolently to meb (alas[-'thus gnfe to inrising upfrofn themArket-gardens of K nights- sult poverty and misfotn, E Was given bridge-how Tutnham-green, Brentford, over to Sir P.'s coe, Atd made to pass the Bagshot, were ptsd"-e ed not be told night in an ogt i&Y& Vbed, and by the side 40 VANITY FAIR. of a horrid gloomy old charwoman, who he had a Mr. Hodson, his hind from Leak. keeps the house. I did not bleep one single ington, in the carriage with him, and they wink the whole night. talked about distraining, and selling up, and "Sir Pitt is not what we silly girls, when draining, and subsoiling, and a great deal we used to read Cecilia, at Chiswick, ima- about tenants and farming-much more than gined a baronet must have been. Any thing, I could understand. Sam Miles had been indeed, less like Lord Orville can not be caught poaching, and Peter Bailey had gone imagined. Fancy an old, stumpy, short, to the workhouse at last.' Serve him right,' vulgar, and very dirty man, in old clothes said Sir Peter;'him and his fam'ly has and shabby old gaiters, who smokes a horrid been cheating me on that farm these hunpipe, and-tooks his own horrid supper in a dred and fifty years.' Some old tenant, I saucepan. He speaks with a country ac- suppose, who could not pay his rent. Sir cent, and swore a great deal at the old char- Pitt might have said'he and his family,' to woman, at the hackney-coachman who drove be sure; but rich baronets do not need to be us to the inn where the coach went from, careful about grammar, as poor governesses and on which I made the journey outsidefor must be. the greater part of the way. "As we passed, I remarked a beautiful " I was wakened at daybreak by the char- church-spire rising above some old elms in woman, and having arrived at the inn, was the park; and before them, in the midst of at first placed inside the coach. But, when ai lawn, and somne outhouses, an old red we got to a place called Mudbury, where the house with tall chimneys covered with ivy, rain began to fall very heavily-will you be- and the windows shining in the sun.' Is lieve it? —I Was forced to come outside; for that your church, sir?' I said. Sir Pitt is a proprietor of the coach, and as "' Yes, hang it' (said Sit' Pitt, only he a passenger came at Mudbury, who wanted used, dear,'a much wickeder word);' how's an inside place, I'was obliged to go outside Buty, Hodson? Buty's my brother, Bute, in the rain, where, however, a young gen- my dear-my brother the parson. Buty tleman from Cambridge College sheltered and the Beast I call him, ha, ha!' me very kindly in one of his several great- "Hodson laughed too, and then looking coats. more grave and nodding his head, said,' I'm "t This gentleman and the guard seemed afraid he's better, Sir Pitt. He was out on to know Sir Pitt very well, and laughed at his pony yesterday looking at our corn.' him. a great deal. They both agreed in call- "' Looking after his tithes, hang'un (only ing him an old screw; which means a very he used the same wicked word). Will stingy, avaricious person. He never gives brandy and water never kill him? He's as any money to any body, they said (and this tough as old what-d'ye-callum-old Methumeanness I hate); and the young gentle- salem." man made the remark that we drove very "' Mr. Hodson laughed ag'ain.'The slow for the last two stages on the road, be- young men is home from college. They've cause Sir Pitt was on the box, and because whopped John Scroggins till he's well nigh he is proprietor of the horses for this part of dead.' te journey.' But won't I flog'ema on to "' Whop my second keeper!' roared out Squashmore, when I take the ribbons?' said Sir Pitt. the young Cantab.' And sarve'em right, "' He was on the parson's ground, sir,' Master Jack,' said the guard. When I replied Mr. Hodson; and Sir Pitt,.in a fury, comprehended the meaning of this phrase, swore that if ever he caught'em poaching and that Master Jack intended to drive the on his ground, he'd transport'em, by the rest of the way, and revenge himself on Sir Lord he would. - However, he said,' I've Pitt's horses, of course I laughed too. sold the presentation of the living, Hodson; "A carriage and four splendid horses, none of that breed shall get it, I warn't;' and covered with armorial bearings, however, Mr. Hodson said he was quite right: and I awaited us at Leakington, four miles from have no doubt, from this, that the two Queen's Crawley, and we made our en- brothers are at variance-as brothers often trance to the baronet's park in state. There are, and sisters too. Don't you remember is a fine avenue of a mile long leading to the the two Miss Scratchleys, at Chiswick, how house, and the woman at the lodge-gate they used always to fight and -quarrel-and (over the pillars of which are a serpent and Mary Box, how she was always thumping a dove, the supporters of -the Crawley arms), Louisa? made us a number of courtesies as she flung " Presently, seeing two little boys gatheropen the old iron carved doors, which are ing sticks in the wood, Mr. Hodson jumped something like those at odious Chiswick. out of the carriage, at Sir Pitt's order, and "'There's an avenue,, said Sir Pitt,' a rushed upon them with his whip.' Pitch mIle long. There's'six tbusand pound of into'em, Hodsoi froared the baronet;' flog timber in them there trees'.' Do you call their little souls out, and bring'em up to the that riothing?' He pronounces avenue, ev- house, the vagabonds; I'll commit'em as enue; anil nothing, nothink-so droll; and sure as my name's Pitt.' And presently A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. et we heard Mr. Hodson's whip clacking on of the young ladies on the other. Then the shoulders of the poor little blubbering there are Mr. Pitt's apartments-Mr. Crawwretchbes; and Sir Pitt, seeing that the mal- ley, he is called-the eldest son, and Mr. efactors were in custody drove on tthe Rawdon Crawley's rooms-he is an officer hall.' like somebody, and away with his regiment. "All the servants were ready to meet us, There is no want of room, I assure you, and You might lodge all the people in Russell* * * * i* * square in the house, I think, and have space "Here, my dear, I was interrupted last to spare. night by a dreadful thumping at my door: "Half an hour after our arrival, the great and who do you think it was? Sir Pitt dinner bell was rung, and I came down with Crawley in his night-cap and dressing-gown, my two pupils (they are very thin, insignifisuch a figure! As I shrank away from such cant little chits, of ten and eight years old). a visitor, he came forward and seized my I came down in your dear muslin gown candle;'No candles after eleven o'clock, (about which that odious fIrs. Pinner was Miss Becky,' said he.' Go to bed in the so rude, because you gave it me); for I am dark, you pretty little hussy (that is what he to be treated as one of the family, except on called me), and unless you wish me to come company days, when the young ladies and I for the candle every night, mind and be in are to dine up-stairs. bed at eleven.' And with this, he and Mr. "Well, the great dinner bell rang, and we Horrocks, the butler, went off laughing. all assembled in the little drawing-room You may be sure I shall not encourage any where my Lady Crawley sits. She is the more of their visits. They let loose two im- second Lady Crawley, and mother of the mense blood-hounds at night, which all last young ladies. She wsw-an ironmonger's night were yelling and howling at the moon. daughter, and her marriage was thought a "' I call the dog Gorer,' said Sir Pitt;' he's great match. She looks as if she had been killed a man that dog has, and is master of handsome once, and her eyes are always a bull, and the mother 1 used to call Flora; weeping for the loss of her beauty. She is but now I calls her Aroarer, for she's too old pale and meager and high-shouldered, and to bite. Haw, haw!' - has not a word to say for herself, evidently. "'Before the house of Queen's Crawley, Her step-son, Mr. Crawley, was likewise in which is an odious old-fashioned red brick the room. He was in full dress, as pommansion, with tall chimneys and gables of pous as an undertaker. He is pale, thin, the style of Queen Bess, there is a terrace ugly, silent; he has thin legs, no chest, hayflanked by the family dove and serpent, and colored whiskers, and straw-colored hair. on which the great hall door opens. And He is the very picture of his sainted mother oh, my dear, the great hall I am sure is as over the mantel-piece-Griselda of the nobig and as glum as the great hall in the dear ble house of Binkie. castle of Udolpho. It has a large fireplace, "' This is the new governess, Mr. Craw-4 in which we might put half Miss Pinker- ley,' said Lady Crawley, coining forward ton's school, and the grate is big enough to and taking my hand;' Miss Sharp.' roast an ox at the very least. Round the "'0!' said Mr. Crawley, and pushed room hang I don't know how many genera- his head once forward and began again to tions of Crawleys, some with beards and read a great pamphlet with which he was ruffs, some with huge wigs and toes turned busy. out; some dressed in long straight stays and', I hope you will be kind to my girls,' said gowns that look as stiff as towers, and some Lady Crawley; with her pink eyes always with long ringlets, and oh, my dear! scarce- full of tears. ly any stays at all. At one end of the hall is "' Law Ma, of course she will,' said the the great staircase all in black oak, as dismal eldest: and I saw at a glance that I need as may be, and on either side are tall doors not be afraid of that woman. with stags' heads over them, leading to the "' My Lady is served,' says the butler, billiard-room and the library, and the great in black, in an immense white shirt-frill, yellow saloon and the morning-rooms. I that looked as if it had been one of the Queen think there are at least twenty bed-rooms Elizabeth ruffs depicted in the hall; and so on the first floor; one of them has the bed taking Mr. Crawley's arm, she led the way in which Queen Elizabeth slept; and I have to the dining-room, whither I followed with been taken by my new pupils through all my little pupils in each hand. these fine apartments this morning. They " Sir Pitt was already in the room with ate not rendered less gloomy, I promise a silver jug. He had just been to the celyou, by having the shutters always shut; lar, and was in full dress too; that is, -he had and there is scarce one of the apartments, taken his gaiters off, and showed his little but when the light was let into it, I expect- dumpy legs in black worsted stockings. The ed to see a ghost in the room. We have a side-board was covered with glistening old school-room on the second floor, with my plate-old cups, both gold and silver; old bed-room leading into it on one side, and that salvers and cruet stands, like Rundell and 42 Vd~S~ANIrTTY" FPAIl. Bridge's shop. Every thing on the table "And I think this is all the conversation was in silver too, and two footmen, with red that I remember at dinner. When the-rehair and canaty-colored liveries, stood on past was concluded a jug of hot water was'either side of the side-board. plaid before Sir Pitt, with a. case-bottle "Mr. Crawley said a long grace, and Sir containing, I believe,- rum. Mr. Horrocks Pitt said Amen, and the great silver dish- served myself and my pupils with three litcoverss were removed. tie glasses of wine, and a bumper was poured "' What have we for dinner, Betsy?' said out for my lady. When we retired, she the baronet. took from her work drawer an enormous "'Mutton broth, I believe, Sir Pitt,' an- interminable piece of knitting; the young swered Lady Crawley. ladies began to play at cribbage with a dirty "' Mouton aux navets,' added the butler pack of cards. We had but one candle gravely (pronounce, if you please, moutong- lighted, but it was in a magnificent old silver onavvy);'and the soup is potage de mnouton candlestick, and after a very few questions a t'Ecossaise. She side dishes contain pom- from my lady, I had my choice of amusemes de terre al naturel, and choufleur d ment between a volume of sermons, and i'eau.' a pamphlet on the corn-laws, which Mr. "'Mutton's mutton,' said the baronet, Crawley had been reading before dinner.'and a devilish good thing. What ship "So we sat for an hour, until steps were was it, Horrocks, and when did you kill?' heard. "' One of the black-faced Scotch, Sir "' Put away the cards, girls,' cried my Pitt: we killed on Thursday.' lady, in a great tremor;'put down Mr. "'Who took any?' Crawley's books, Miss Sharp:' and these "'Steel, of Mudbury, took the saddle and orders had been scarcely obeyed, when Mr. two legs, Sir Pitt: but he says the last was Crawley entered the room. too young and confounded woolly, Sir Pitt.' "' We will resume yesterday's discourse, "'L Will you take some potage? Miss ah young ladies,' said he,'and you shall each -Miss Blunt,' said Mr. Crawley. read a page by turns; so that Miss a-Miss,"'Capital Scotch broth, my dear,' said Short may have an opportunity of hearing Sir Pitt,'though they call it by a French you;' and the poor girls began to spell a name.' long' dismal sermon delivered at Bethesda "' I believe it is the custom, sir, in de- Chapel, Liverpool, in behalf of the mission cent society,' said Mr. Crawley, haughtily, for the Chickasaw Indians. Was it not a' to call the dish as I have called it;' and it charming evening? was served to us on silver soup-plates by "; At ten the servants were told to call Sir the footmen in the canary coats, with the Pitt and the household to prayers. Sir Pitt mnouton aux naveis. Then' ale and water' came in first, very much flushed, and rather were brought, and served to us young ladies unsteady in his gait and after him the butin wine glasses. I am not a judge of ale, ler, the canaries, Mr. Crawley's man, three but I can say with a clear conscience I pre- other men, smelling very much of the stable, fer water. and four woman, one of whom, I remarked, "' While we were enjoying our repast, was very much over-dressed, and who flung Sir Pitt took occasion to ask what had be- me a look of great scorn as she plumped come of the shoulders of the mutton? down on her knees. "'I believe they were eaten in the ser- "After Mr. Crawley had domte haranguing vants' hall,' said my lady. humbly. and expounding, we received our candles, "' They was, my lady,' said Horrocks, and then'we went to bed; and then I was'and precious little else we get there disturbed in my writing, as I have describneither.' ed to my dearest, sweetest Amelia."Sir Pitt burst into a hoarse laugh, and "Good night. A thousand thouIsand continued his conversation with Mr. Hor- thousand kisses! rocks.'That there little black pig of the "Saturday. -This morning, at five, 1 Kent sow's breed must be uncommon fat heard the shrieking of the little black pig. now.' Rose and Violet introduced me to it yester"' It's not quite bursting, Sir Pitt,' said day; and to the stables, and to the kennel, the butler with the gravest air, at which Sir and to the gardener, who was picking fruit Pitt, and with him the young ladies, this to send to market, and from whom they time, began to laugh violently. begged hard a bunch of hot-house grapes; "' Miss Crawley, Miss Rose Crawley,' but he said that Sir Pitt had numbered every said Mr. Crawley,'your laughter strikes'Man Jack' of them, and it would be as me as being exceedingly out of place.' much as his place was worth to give any ".' Never mind my, lord,' said the baronet, away. The darling girls caught a colt in ab'we'll try the porker o.k ~Saturday. Kill paddock, and asked me if I would ride, and'un an Saturday morning, Jo.ia'Herrocks. began to ride themselves, when the'igroom, Miss Sharp adores pork, don't you, Miss coming with horrid oaths, drove them away. Sharp?' "Lady Crawley is always knitting the A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 43 worsted. Sir Pitt is always tipsy, every it is not from mere mercenary motives that night; and, I believe, sits with Horrocks, the present performer is desirous to show up the butler. Mr. Crawley always reads ser- and trounce his villains; but because he has moons in the evening; and in the morning is a sincere hatred of them, which he can not locked up in his study, or else rides to Mud- keep down, and which must find a vent in bury, on county business, or to Squashmore, suitable abuse and bad language. where he preaches, on Wednesdays and I warn my " kyind friends," then, that I Fridays, to the tenants there. am going to tell a story of harrowing villainy "A hundred thousand grateful loves to and complicated —but, as I trust, intensely your dear papa and mamma. Is your poor interesting, crime. My rascals are no milkbrother recovered of his rack-punch? Oh, and-water rascals, I promise you. When dear! Oh, dear! How men should beware we come to the proper places we won't of wicked punch! spare fine language-No, no! But when "Ever and ever thine own, we are going over the quiet country we must "REBECCA." perforce be calm. A tempest in a slop-basin is absurd. We will reserve that sort of Every thing considered, I think it is quite thing for the mighty ocean and the lonely as well for our dear Amelia Sedley, in Rus- midnight. The present chapter will be sell-square, that Miss Sharp and she are very mild. Others-But we will not anparted. Rebecca is a droll, funny creature, ticipate those. to be sure: and those descriptions of the And, as we bring our characters forward, poor lady weeping for the loss of her beauty, I will ask leave, as a muan and a brother, not and the gentleman "with hay colored whisk- only to introduce them, but occasionally to ers and straw-colored hair," are very smart, step down from the platform, and talk about doubtless, and show a great knowledge of them: if they are good and kindly, to love the world. That she might, when on her them and shake them by the hand: if they knees, have been thinking of something bet- are silly, to laugh at them confidentially in ter than Miss Horrock's ribbons, has pos- the reader's sleeve: if they are wicked and sibly struck both of us. But my kind reader heartless,,to abuse them in the strongest will please to remember that these histories terms which politeness admits of. have "Vanity Fair" for a title, and that Otherwise you might fancy it was I who Vanity Fair is a very vain, wicked, foolishl was sneering at the practice of devotion, place, full of all sorts of humbugs and false- which Miss Sharp finds so ridiculous; that nesses and pretensions' And while the it was I who laughed good humoredly at the moralist professes to wear neither gown nor reeling old Silenus of a baronet-whereas bands, but only the very same long-eared the laughter comes from one who has no livery in which his congregation is arrayed; reverence except for prosperity, and no eye yet, look you, one is bound to speak the for any thing beyond success. Such people truth as far as one knows it, whetker one there are living and flourishing in the world mounts a cap and bells or a shovel-hat; and -faithless, hopeless, charityless: let us have a deal of disagreeable matter must come out at them, dear friends,,with might and main. in the course of such an undertaking. Some there are, and vry successful too, I have heard a brother of the story-telling mere quacks and fools: and it was to comtrade, at Naples, preaching to a pack of bat and expose such as those, no doubt, that good-for-nothing honest, lazy fellows by the laughter was made. sea-shore, work himself up into such a rage and passion with some of the villains whose wicked deeds he was describing and inventing, that the audience could not resist it; CHAPTER IX. and they and the poet together would burst out into a roar of oaths and execrations FAMIL against the fictitious monster of the tale, so SIR PITT CRAWLEY was a philosopher that the hat went round, and the bajocchi with a taste for what is called low life. His tumbled into it, in the midst of a perfect first marriage with the daughter of the noble storm of sympathy. Binkie had beeo made under the auspices At the little Paris theaters, on the other of his parents; and as he often told Lady hand, you will not only hear the people yell- Crawley in her life-time she was such a ing out "Ah gredin! Ah monstre!" and confounded quarrelsome high-bred jade that cursing the tyrant of the play from the when she died he was hanged if he would boxes; but the actors themselves positively ever take another of her sort. At her ladyrefuse to play the wicked parts, such as ship's demise, he kept his promise and sethose of infdmes Anglais, brutal Cossacks, lected for a second wife Miss Rose fDawson, and what not, and prefer to appear at a daughter of Mr. John Thomas Dawson, ironsmaller salary, in their real characters as monger,ofMudbury. Whatahappywoman loyal Frenchmen. I set the two stories one was Rcse to be my Lady Crawley! against the other, so that you may see that Let as set down the items of her hppi 44 VANITY FAIR. ness. In the lirnt place, she gave up Peter coach and four are toys more precious than Butt, a young man who kept company with happiness in Vanity Fair: and if Harry the her, and in consequence of his disappoint- Eighth or Bluebeard were alive now, and ment in love, took to smuggling, poaching, wanted a tenth wife, do you suppose he and a thousand other bhd. courses. Then could not get the prettiest girl that shall be she quarreled, as in duty bound, with all the presented this season? friends and intimates of her youth, who, of The languid dullness of their mamma did course, could not be received by my Lady not, as it may be supposed, awaken much at Queen's Crawley-nor did she find in her affection in her little daughters, but they new rank and abode any persons who were wore very happy in the servants' hall and willing to welcome her. Who ever did? in the stables; and the Scotch gardener Sir lluddleston Fuddleston had three daugh- having luckily a good wife and some good ters who all hoped to be Lady Crawley. children, they got a little wholesome society Sir Giles Wapshot's family were insulted and instruction in his lodge, which was the that one of the Wapshot girls had not the only education bestowed upon them until preference in the marriage, and the remain- Miss Sharp came. ing baronets of the county were indignant at Her engagement was owing to the retheir comrade's misalliance. Never mind monstrances of Mr. Pitt Crawley, the only the commoners, whom we will leave to'friend or protector Lady Crawley ever had, grumble anonymously. and the only person, besides her children, Sir Pitt did not care, as he said, a brass for whom she entertained a little feeble atfarden for any one of them. He had his tachmrent. Mr. Pitt took after the noble pretty Rose, and what more need a man Binkies, from whom he was descended, and require than to please himself? So he used was a very polite and proper gentleman. to get drunk every night: to beat his pretty When he grew to man's estate, and came Rose sometimes: to leave her in Hampshire back from Christchurch, he- began to reform when he went to London for the parlia- the slackened discipline of the hall, in'spite mentary session, without a single friend in of his father, who stood in awe of him. He the wide world. Even Mrs. Bute Crawley, was a man of such rigid refinement, that he the rector's wife, refused to visit her, as she would have starved rather than have dined said she would never give the pas to a trades- without a white neck-cloth. Once, when man's daughter. just from college, and when Horrocks the As the only endowments with which Na- butler brought him a letter without placing ture had gifted Lady Crawley were those it previously on a try, he gave that domestic of pink cheeks and a wJhite skin, and as she a look, and administered to him a speech so had no sort of character, nor talents, nor cutting, that Horrocks ever after trembled opinions, nor occupations, nor amusements, before him: the whole household bowed to nor that vigor of s'oul and ferocity of temper him: Lady Crawley's curl-papers came off which often falls to the lot of entirely foolish earlier awheir he was at home: Sir Pitt's women, her hold upon Sir Pitt's affections muddy gaiters disappeared; and if that inwas not very great. Her roses faded out of corrigible old man still adhered to other old her cheeks, and,the pretty freshness left habits, he never fuddled himself with rum her figure after the birth of a couple of chil- and water in his son's presence, and only dren, and she became a mere machine in talked to his servants in a very reserved and her husband's house, of no more use than polite manner; and those persons remarked the late Lady Crawley's grand piano. Be- that Sir Pitt never swore at Lady Crawley ing a light-complexioned woman, she wore while his son was in the room. light clothes, as most blondes will, and ap- It was he who taught the butler to say peared, in preference, in draggled sea-green, " My lady is served," and who insisted on or slatternly sky-blue. She worked that handing her ladyship in to dinner. He selworsted day and night, or other pieces like dom spoke to her, but when he did it was it. She had counterpanes in the course of with the most powerful respect; and he a few years to all the beds in Crawley. She never let her quit the apartment, without had a small flower-garden, for which she rising in the most stately manner to open nad rather an affection; but beyond this no the door, and making an elegant bow at her other like or disliking. When her husband egress. was rude to her she was apathetic: when- At Eton he was called Miss Crawley; ever he struck her she cried. She had not and there, I am sorry to say, his younger character enough to take to drinking, and brother Rawdon used to lick him violently. moaned about slip-shod and in curl-papers But though his parts were not brilliant, he all day. 0, Vanity Fair —Vanity Fair! made up for his lack of talent by meritorious This might have been, but for you, a cheery industry, and was never known, during eight lass-Peter Butt and Rose a happy man and years at school, to be subject to that punishwife, in a snug farm, with a hearty family; ment, which it is generally thought none but and an honest portion of pleasures, cares, a cherub can escape. hopes, and struggles. But a itle and a'At college his career was of course highly A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 4A creditable. And here he prepared himself that the old gentleman should yield him up for public life, into which he was to be in- his place in parliament; but this the elder troduced by the patronage of his grandfather, constantly refused to do. Both were of Lord Binkie, by studying the ancient and course too prudent to give up the fifteen modern orators with great assiduity, and by hundred a year which was brought in by speaking unceasingly at the debating socie- the second seat (at this period filled by Mr. ties. But though he had a fine flux of words, Quadroon, with carte-blanche on the slave and delivered his little voice with great pom- question).; indeed the family estate was posity and pleasure to himself, and never much embarrassed, and the income drawn advanced any sentiment or opinion which from the borough was of great use to the was not perfectly trite and stale, and sup- house of Queen's Crawley. ported by a Latin quotation; yet he failed It had never recovered the heavy fine somehow, in spite of a mediocrity which imposed upon Walpole Crawley, first baroought to have insured any man a success. net, for peculation in the Tape and Sealing He did not even get the prize poem, which Wax Office. Sir Walpole was a jolly felall his friends said he was sure of. low, eager to seize and to spend money After leaving college he became private (" alieni appetens, sui profusus," as Mr. secretary to Lord Binkie, and was then ap- Crawley would remark with a sigh), and in pointed attache to the legation at Pumper- his day beloved by all the county for the nickel, which post he filled with perfect constant drunkenness and hospitality which honor, and brought home dispatches, con- was maintained at Queen's Crawley. The sisting of Strasburg pie, to the foreign minis- cellars were filled with Burgundy then, the ter of the day. After remaining ten years kennels with hounds, and the stables with attache (several years after the lamented gallant hunters; now, such horses as Queen's Lord Binkie's demise), and finding the ad- Crawley possessed went to plough, or ran vancement slow, he at length gave up the in the Trafalgar coach; and it was with a diplomatic service in some disgust, and began team of these very horses, on an off-day, to turn country gentleman. that Miss Sharp was brought to the hall; He wrote a pamphlet on Malt on return- for, boor as he was, Sir Pitt was a stickler ing to England (for he was an ambitious man, for his dignity while at home, and seldom and always liked to be before the public), drove out but with four horses, and, though and took a strong part in the Negro Emanci- he dined off boiled mutton, had always three pation question. Then he became a friend footmen to serve it. of Mr. Wilberforce's, whose politics he ad- If mere parsimony would have made a mired, and had that famous correspondence man rich, Sir Pitt Crawley might have bewith the Reverend Silas Hornblower, on come very wealthy —if he had been an atthe Ashantee Mission. He was in London, torney in a country town, with no capital if not for the parliament session, at least in but his brains, it is very, possible that he May, for the religious meetings. In the would have turned them to good account, country he was a magistrate, a'nd an active and might have achieved for himself a very visitor and speaker among those destitute of considerable influence and competency. But religious instruction. He was said to be he was unluckily endowed with a good name paying his addresses to Lady Jane Sheep- and a large though encumbered estate, both shanks, Lord Muttondown's third daughter, of-which went rather to injure than to ad and whose sister, Lady Emily, wrote those vance him. He had a taste for law, which sweet tracts, "The Sailor's True Binnacle," cost him many thousands yearly; and being and 1" The Applewoman of Finchley Comn- a great deal too clevei to be robbed, as he mon." said, by any single agent, allowed his affairs Miss Sharp's accounts of his employment to be mismanaged by a dozen, whom he all at Queen's Crawley were not caricatures. equally mistrusted. He was such a sharp He subjected the servants there to the de- landlord, that he could hardly find any but votional exercises before mentioned, in which bankrupt tenanlts; and such a close farmer, (and so much the better) he brought his as to grudge almost the seed to the ground, father to join. He patronized an independ- whereupon revengeful Nature grudged him ent meeting-house in Crawley parish, much the crops which she granted to more liberal to the indignation of his uncle the rector, husbandmen. He speculated in every pos-. and to the consequent delight of Sir Pitt, sible way; he worked mines; bought canal-. who was induced to go himself once or twice, shares; horsed coaches; took government which occasioned some violent sermons at contracts, and was the busiest man and magCrawley parish church, directed point-blank istrate of his county. As he would not pay at the baronet's old gothic pewthere. Hon- honest agents at his granite-quarry, he had est Sir Pitt, however, did not feel the force the satisfaction of finding that four overseers of these discourses, as he always took his ran away, and took fortunes with them to lap duling sermon-tims3. America. For want of proper precautions. Mr. Crawley was very earnest, for the his coal-mines filled with water: the gov)od of the nation and of the Christian world, ernment flung his contract of damaged beef 4' VANITY FAIR. upon his kands: and for his coach-horses, Sir Pitt had an unmarried half-sister who every mail proprietor in the kingdom knew inherited her mother's large fortune, and that he lost more horses than any man in though the baronet proposed to borrow this the country, from underfeeding and buying money of her on mortgage, Miss Crawley cheap. In disposition he was sociable, and: declined the offer, and preferred the security far from being proud; nay, he rather pre- of the funds. She had signified, however, ferred the society of a farmer or a horse- her intention of leaving her fortune equally dealer to that of a gentleman, like my lord, between Sir Pitt's second son and the famhis son; he was fond of drink, of swearing, ily at the Rectory, and had once or twice of joking with the farmers' daughters: he paid the debts of Rawdon Crawley in his was never known to give away a shilling or career at college and in the army. Miss to do a good action, but was of a pleasant, Crawley was, in consequence, an object of sly, laughing mood, and would cut his joke great respect when she came to Queen's and drink his glass with a tenant, and sell Crawley, for she had a balance: at her bankhim up the next day; or have his laugh er's which would have made her beloved with the poacher he was transporting, with any where. equal good humor. His politeness for the`%;hat a dignity it gives an old lady, that fair sex has already been hinted at by Miss balance at the banker's! How tenderly we Rebecca Sharp-in a word, the whole bar- look at her faults if she is a relative (and onetage, peerage, commonage of England, -ay every reader have a score of such),did not contain a more cunning, mean, selfish, what a kind, good-natured old creature we foolish, disreputable old man. That blood-,find her! How the junior partner of Hobbs red hand of Sir Pitt Crawley's would be in and Dobbs leads her smiling to the carriage any body's pocket except his own; and it is with the lozenge upon it, and the fat, wheezy with grief and pain, that, as admirers of the coachman! How, when she comes to pay British aristocracy, we find ourselves obliged us a visit, we generally find an opportunity to admit the existence of so many ill qualities to let our friends know her station in the in a person whose name is in Debrett. world! We say (and with perfect truth), I One great cause why Mr. Crawley had wish I had Miss MacWhirter's signature to such a hold over the affections of his father, a check for five thousand pounds. She resulted from money arrangements. The wouldn't miss it, says your wife. She is baronet owed his son a sum of money out my aunt, say you, in an easy, careless way, of the jointure of his mother, which he did when your friend asks if Miss MacWhirter not find it convenient to pay; indeed, he had is any relative? Your wife is perpetually an almost invincible repugnance to paying sending her little testimonies of affection, any body, and could only be brought by force your little girls work endless worsted basto discharge his debts. Miss Sharp calcu- kets, cushions, and footstools for her. What lated (for she became, as we shall hear speed- a good fire there is in her room when she ily, inducted into most of the secrets of the comes to pay you a visit, although your wife family) that the mere payment of his cred- laces her stays without one! The house itors cost the honorable baronet several hun- during her stay assumes a festive, neat, dreds yearly; but this was a delight he could warm, jovial, snug appearance, not visible at not forego; he had a savage pleasure in other seasons. You yourself, dear sir, formaking the poor wretches wait, and in shift- get to go to sleep after dinner, and find youring from court to court, and from term to self all of a sudden (though you invariably term the period of satisfaction. What's the lose) very fond of a rubber. What good good of being in Parliament, he said, if you dinners you have-game every day, Malmmust pay your debts? Hence, indeed, his sey-Madeira, and no end of fish from Lonposition as a senator was not a little useful don. Even the servants in the kitchen sharte t9ahim. in the general prosperity; and, somehow, Vanity Fair-Vanity Fair! Here was a during the stay of Miss MacWhirter's'hi man, who could not spell, and did not care coachman, the beer is grown much stronger, to read-who had the habits and the cun- and the consumption of tea and sugar in the ning of a boor: whose aim in life was petti- nursery (where her maid takes her meals) fogging: who never had a taste, or emotion, is not regarded in the least. Is it so, or is or enjoyment, but what was sordid and foul; it not so? I appeal to the middle classes. and yet he had rank, and honors, and pow- Ah, gracious powers! I wish you' would er, somehow: and was a dignitary of the send me an old aunt-a maiden aunt-an land, and a pillar of the state. He was aunt with a lozenge on her carriage, and a high sheriff, and rode in a golden coach. front of light coffee-colored hair-how my Great ministers and statesmen courted him; children should work work.bags for her, and and in Vanity Fair he had a higher place my Julia and I would make her comfortathan the most brilliant genius or spotless ble! Sweet-sweetvision! Foolish-foolvirtue. ish dream! I 1 10:; I| h IL. 1 I * | | ___ LI~s i~.I l~i2 Ii~~ I!, Ii II,,,/'I5. 11 1 / ~.,'<~.)! F-c=-, U/.... l I,! t'.~., i,.tt~tir~. ~c/It ~.~i~,? —,~ ~,,, ~,!i11;' (':'t':',~li\~li',,~' —-='l ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ r I ~~1' r i.:isi:1'< r! -.. ~= ill'!1, — li<1t,1i lc~;' t i*.(ii K_..V (1 ]1S SH-ARPF IN El RI' SCHOOL- ROO p 4. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 47 CH.APTERF X. struction is more effectual. than self-instruction? The eldest was rather fond of books, MIs SSHARP ZEalINS TO MAH~ FRIENoDS. and as there was in the old library at Queen's AND now, being received as a member of Crawley a considerable provision of works of the amiable family whose portraits we have light literature of the last century, both in sketched in the foregoing pages, it became the French and. English languages (they naturally Rebecca's duty to make herself, had been purchased by the Secretary of the as she said, agreeable to her benefactors, Tape and Sealing Wax Office at the period and to gain their confidence to the utmost of his disgrace), and as nobody ever troubled of her power. 5Who can but admire this the book-shelves but herself, Rebecca was quality of gratitude in an unprotected or- enabled agreeably, and, as it were, in playphan; and, if there entered some degree of ing, to impart a great deal of instruction to selfishness into her calculations, who can Miss Rose Crawley. say but that her prudence was perfectly She and Miss Rose thus read together justifiable? "I am alone in the world," many delightful French and English works, said the friendless girl. " T have nothing to among which may be mentioned those of the look for but what my own labor can bring learned Dr. Smollett, of the ingenious Mr. me; and while that little pink-faced chit Henry Fielding, of the graceful and fantasAmelia, with not half my sense, has ten tic Monsieur Crebillon the younger, whom thousand pounds and an establishment se- our immortal poet Gray so much admired, cure, poor Rebecca (and my figure is far and of the universal Monsieur de Voltaire. better than hers) has only herself and her Once, when Mr. Crawley asked what the own wits to trust to. Well, let us see if my young people were reading, the governess wits can not provide me with an honorable replied, "Smollett." "Oh, Smollett," said maintenance, and if some day or other I Mr. Crawley, quite satisfied. " His history can not show Miss Amelia my real superi- is more dull, but by no means so dangerous ority over her. Not that I dislike poor Ame- as that of Mr. Hume. It is history you are lia: who can dislike such a harmless, good- reading?" "Yes," said Miss Rose; withnatured creature? —only it will be a fine day out, however, adding that it was the history when I can take my place above her in the of Mr. Humphrey Clinker. On another ocworld, as why, indeed, should I not?" Thus casion he was rather scandalized at finding it was that our little romantic friend formed his sister with a book of French plays; but visions of the future for herself —nor must as the governess remarked that it was for we be scandalized, that in all her castles in the purpose of acquiring the French idiom the air, a husband was the principal inhabit- in conversation, he was fain to be content. ant. Of what else have young ladies to Mr. Crawley, as a diplomatist, was exceedthink, but husbands? Of what else do their ingly proud of his own skill in speaking the dear mammas think? "' I must be my own French language (for he was of the world mamma," said Rebecca; not without a ting- still), and not a little pleased with the comling consciousness of defeat, as she thought pliments which the governess continually over her little misadventure with Jos Sed- paid him upon his proficiency. ley. Miss Violet's tastes were, on the contrary, So she wisely determined to render her more rude and boisterous than those of her position with the Queen's Crawley family sister. She knew the sequestered spots comfortable and secure, and to this end re- where the hens laid their eggs. She could solved to make friends of every one around climb a tree to rob the nests of the featherher who could at all interfere with her corm- ed songsters of their speckled spoils. And fort. her pleasure was to ride the young colts, As my Lady Crawley was not one of and to scour the plains like Camilla. She these personages, and a woman, moreover, was the favorite of her father and of the so indolent and void of character, as not to stable-men. She was the darling, and withal be of the least consequence in her own the terror of the cook; for she discovered house, Rebecca soon found that it was not the haunts of the jam-pots, and would attack at all necessary to cultivate her good will- them when they were within her reach. indeed, impossible to gain it. She used to She and her sister were engaged in constant talk to her pupils about their " poor mamma;" battles. Any of which peccadilloes, if Miss and, though she treated that lady with every Sharp discovered, she did not tell them to demonstration of cool respect, it was to the Lady Crawley, who would have told them rest of the family that she wisely directed to the father, or, worse, to Mr. Crawley; the chief part of her attentions. but promised not to tell if Miss Violet would With the young people, whose applause be a good girl and love her governess. she thoroughly gained, her method was pretty With Mr. Crawley Miss Sharp was resimple. She did not pester their young spectful and obedient. She used to consult brains with too much learning, but, on the him on passages of French which she could contrary, let them have their own way in re- not understand, though her mother was a gard to educating themselves; for, what in- Frenchwoman, and which he would con 48 VANITY FAIR. strue to her satisfaction: and, besides giving fast walk without hler (and the children, of her his aid in profane literature, he was kind course), when she would give her advice as enough to select for her books of a more se- to the trees which were to be lopped in the rious tendency, and address to her much of shrubberies, the garden-beds to be dug, the his conversation. She admired, beyond crops which were to be cut, the horses measure, his speech at the Quashimaboo- which were to go to cart or plough. Before Aid Society; took an interest in his pamph- she had been a year at Queen's Crawley, et on malt; was often affected, even to she had quite won the baronet's confidence;'ears, by his discourses of an evening, and and the conversation at the dinner-table, would say -" Oh, thank you, sir," with a which before used to be held between him sigh, and a look up to heaven, that made and Mr. Horrocks, the butler, was now alnim occasionally condescend to shake hands most exclusively between Sir Pitt and Miss with her. "Blood is every thing, after all," Sharp. She was almost mistress of the would thbt aristocratic religionist say. "How house when Mr. Crawley was absent, but Miss Sharp is awakened by my words, when conducted herself in her new and exalted not one of the people here is touched. I am situation with such circumspection and modtoo fine for them-too delicate. I must esty as not to offend the authorities of the familiarize my style-hbut she understands kitchen and stable, among whom her behat. Her mother was a Montmorency." vior was always exceedingly modest and Indeed it was front this famous family, as affable. She was quite a different person it appears, that Miss Sharp, by the mother's from the haughty, shy, dissatisfied little girl side, was descended. Of course she did not whom we have known previously, and this say that her mother had been on the stage; change of temper proved great prudence, a it would have shocked Mr. Crawley's re- sincere desire of amendment, or at any rate ligious scruples. How many noble emigrees great moral courage on her part. Whether lad this horrid revolution plunged in pover- it was the heart which dictated this new ty! She had several stories about her an- system of complaisance and humility adoptcestors ere she had been many months in ed by our Rebecca, is to be proved by her the house; some of which Mr. Crawley after-history. A system of hypocrisy, which happened to find in D'Hozier's dictionary, lasts through whole years, is one seldom satwhich was in the library, and which strength- isfactorily practiced by a person of one-andened his belief in their truth, and in the twenty; however, our readers will recollect high-breeding of Rebecca. Are we to sup- that, though young in years, our heroine pose from this curiosity and prying into dic- was old in life and experience, and we have tionaries, could our heroine suppose that Mr. written to no purpose if they have not disCrawley was interested in her?-no, only in covered that she was a very clever woman. a friendly way. Have we not stated that he The elder and younger son of the house was attached to Lady Jane Sheepshanks? of Crawley were, like the gentleman and He took Rebecca to task once or twice lady in the weather-box, never at home toabout the propriety of playing at backgam- gether-they hated each other cordially: mon with Sir ritt, saying that it was a god- indeed, Rawdon Crawley, the dragoon, had less amusenlent, and that she would be a great contempt for the establishment altomuch better engaged in reading "Thrump's gether, and seldom came thither, except Legacy," or 1" The Blind Washerwoman of when his aunt paid her annual visit. Moorfields," or any work of a more serious The great good quality of this old lady has nature; but Miss Sharp said her dear moth- been mentioned. She possessed seventy er used often to play the same game with thousand pounds, and had almost adopted the old Count de Trictrac aod the venerable Rawdon. She disliked her elder nephew Abb6 du Cornet, and so found an excuse for exceedingly, and despised him as g milksop. this and other worldly amusements. In return, he did not hesitate to state that But it was not only by playing at back- her soul was irretrievably lost, and was of gammon with the baronet, that the little opinion that his brother's chance in the next governess rendered herself agreeable to her world was not a whit better. " She is a employer. She found many different ways godless woman of the world," would Mr. of being useful to him. She read over, with Crawley say; " she lives with atheists and indefatigable patience, all those law papers, Frenchmen. My mind shudders when I with which, before she came to Queen's think of her awful, awful situation, and that, Crawley, he had promised to entertain her. near as she is to the grave, she should be so She volunteered to copy many of his letters, given up to vanity, licentiousness, profaneand adroitly altered the spelling of them so ness, and folly." In fact, the old lady deas to suit the usages of the present day. dined altogether to hear his hour's lecture She became interested in every thing ap- of an evening; and whi{: she came to pertaining to the estate, to the farm, the Queen's Crawley alone, he was obliged to park, the garden, and the stables; and so pretermit his usual devotional exercises. delightful a companion was she, that the "Shut up your sarmons, Pitt, when Miss baronet would seldom take his after-break- Crawley comes down," said his father; " she A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERIO. 49 as written to say that she won't stand the els, in which he gave ample proofs of his preachifying." contempt for death. "O, sir! consider the servants." "And for what follows after death,~ "The servants be hanged," said Sir Pitt; would Mr. Crawley observe, throwing his and his son thought even worse would hap- gooseberry-colored eyes up to the ceiling. pen, were they deprived of the benefit of his He was always thinking of his brother's soul, instruction, or of the souls of those who differed with him "Why, hang it, Pitt!" said the father to in opinion: it is a sort of comfortwhich many his remonstrance. " You wouldn't be such of the serious give themselves. a flat as to let three thousand a year go out Silly, romantic Miss Crawley, far from beof the family?" ing horrified at the courage of her favorite, "What is money compared to our souls, always used to pay his debts after his duels; sir?" continued Crawley. and would not listen to a word that was " You mean that the old lady won't leave whispered against his morality. " He will the money to you?"-and who knows but sow his wild-oats," she would sa y, 1"and is it was Mr. Crawiny's meaning? worth far more than that puling hypocrite Old Miss Crawiey was certainly one of of a brother of his." the reprobate. She had a snug little house in Park-lane, and, as she ate and drank a great deal too much during the season in London, she went to Harrowgate or Cheltenham for the summer. She was the most hospitable and jovial of old vestals, and had ARCADIAN SIMPLICITY been a beauty in her day, she said. (All old women were beauties once, we very well BESIDES these honest folks at the Hall know.) She was a bel esprit, and a dread- (whose simplicity and sweet rural purity ful radical for those days. She had been in surely show the advantage of a country life France (where St. Just, they say, inspired over a town one), we nmust introduce the her with an unfortunate passion), e.nd loved, reader to their relatives and neighbors at the ever after, French novels, French cookery, Rectory, Bute Crawley and his wife. and French wines. She read Voltaire, and The Reverend Bute Crawley was a tall, had Rousseau by heart; talked very lightly -stately, jolly, shovel-hatted man, far more about divorce, and most energetically cf the popular in his county than the baronet his rights of women. She had pictures of Mr. brother. At college he pulled stroke-oar Fox in every room in the house: when in the Christchurch boat, and had thrashed that statesman was in opposition, I am not all the best bruisers of the "town." He sure that she had not flung a main with carried his taste for boxing and athletic exhim; and when he came into office, she ercises into private life: there was not a took great credit for bringing over to him Sir fight within twenty miles at which he was Pitt and his colleague for Queen's Crawley, not present, nor a race, nor a coursing match, although Sir Pitt would have come over nor a regatta, nor a ball, nor an election, nor himself, without any trouble on the honest a visitation dinner, nor, indeed, a good dinlady's part. It is needless to say that ner in the whole county, but he found means Sir Pitt was brought to change his views to attend it. You might see his bay-mare after the death of the great Whig states- and gig-lamps a score of miles away from man. his Rectory-House, whenever there was This worthy old lady took a iancy to Raw- any dinner-party at Fuddleston, or at Roxdon Crawley when a boy, sent him to Cam- by, or at Wapshot Hall, or at the great lords bridge (in opposition to his brother at Ox- of the county, with all of whom he was inti~ ford), and, when the young man was re- mate. He had a fine voice; sang " A southquested by the authorities of the first-named erly wind and a cloudy sky;" and gave the *university to quit, after a residence of two "whoop" in chorus with general applause. years, she bought him his commissions as He rode to hounds in a pepper-and-salt Cornet and Lieutenant Crawley. firock, and was one of the best fishermen in A perfect and celebrated "blood," or the county. dandy about town, was this young officer. Mrs. Crawley, the rector's wife, was a Boxing, rat-hunting, the fives' court, and smart little body, who wrote this worthy four-in-hand driving were then the fashion divine's sermons. Being of a domestic turn, of our British aristocracy; and he was an and keeping the house a great deal with her adept in all these noble sciences. And daughters, she ruled absolutely within the though he belonged to the-household troops, Rectory, wisely giving her husband full libwho, as it was their duty to rally round the erty without. He was welcome to come Prince Regent, had not shown their valor in and go, and dine abroad as many days as his foreign service, yet Rawdon Crawley had fancy dictated, for Mrs. Crawley was a savalready (apropos of play, of which he was. ing woman, and knew the price of port wine. immoderately fond) fought three bloody du- Ever since Mrs. BRlte carried off the young I)D 50 VANITY FAIR rector of Queen's Crawley (she was of a brother are-fiiends, his doings are indifferent good family, daughter of the late Lieutenant- to you. When you have quarreled, all his colonel Hector Mac Tavish, and she and her outgoings and incomings you know, as if you mother played for Bute and won him at were his spy. IB Harrowgate), she had been a prudent and Very soon then after her arrival, Rebecca thrifty wife to him. In spite of her care, began to take a regular place in Mrs. Crawhowever, he was always in debt. It took ley's bulletin from the Hall. It was to this.him at least ten years to pay off his college effect: "The black porker's killed-weighed bills contracted during his father's lifetime. x stone-salted the sides-pig's pudding and In the year 179-, when he was just clear leg of pork for dinner. Mr. Cramp, from of these incumbrances, he gave the odds of Mudbury, over with Sir Pitt about putting 100 to I (in twenties) against Kangaroo, who John Blackmore in jail-Mr. Pitt at meeting won the Derby. The rector was obliged to (with all the names of the people who attake up the money at a ruinous interest, tended)-my lady as usual-the young ladies and had been struggling ever since. His with the governess." sister helped him with a hundred now and Then the report would come-The new then, but of course his great hope was in her governess be a rare manager-Sir Pitt be death-when "hang it" (as he would say); very sweet on her-Mr. Crawley too-He " Matilda must leave me half her money." be reading tracts to her-"-' What an abanSo that the baronet and his brother had doned wretch!" said little, eager, active, every reason which two brothers possibly black-faced Mrs. Bute Crawley. can have for being by the ears. Sir Pitt Finally, the reports were that the governhad had the better of Bute in innumerable ess had "come round" every body, wrote family transactions. Young Pitt not only Sir Pitt's letters, did his business, managed did not hunt; but set up a meeting-house his accounts-had the upper hand of the under his uncle's very nose. Rawdon, it whole house, my lady, Mr. Crawley, the was known, was to come in for the bulk of girls and all-at which Mrs. Crawley deMiss Crawley's property. These money clared she was an artful hussy, and had transactions-these speculations in life and some dreadful designs in view. Thus the death-these silent battles for reversionary doings at the Hall were the great food for spoil - make brothers very loving toward conversation at the Rectory, and Mrs. Bute's each other in Vanity Fair. I, for my part, bright eyes spied out every thing that took have known a five-pound-note to interpose place in the enemy's camp-every thing and and knock up a half century's attachment a great deal besides. between two brethren; and can't but admire, as I think what a fine and durable thing.love - Mrs. Bute Crawley to Miss Pinkcerton, the is among worldly people. Mall, C'hiswick. It can not be supposed that the arrival of such a personage as Rebecca at Queen's Crawley, and her gradual establishment in "MY DEAR MADAM-Although it is SO the good graces of all people there, could be many years since I profited by your delightunremarked by Mrs. Bute Crawley. Mrs. ful and invaluable instructions, yet I have Bute, who knew how many days the sirloin ever retained the fondest and most reverential of beef lasted at the hall; how much linen regard for Miss Pinkerton and dear Chiswick. was got ready at the great wash; how many I hope your health is good. The world and peaches were on the south wall; how many the cause of education can not afford to lose doses her ladyship took when she was ill- Miss Pinkei;on for many, many years. for such points are matters of intense inter- When my friend, Lady Fuddleston, menest to certain persons in the country —Mrs. tioned that her dear girls required an inBute, I say, could not pass over the hall structress (I am too poor to engage a govgoverness without making every inquiry re- erness for mine, but was I not educated at specting her history and character. There Chiswick?)-' Who,' I exclaimed,' can we was always the best understanding between consult but the excellent, the incomparable the servants at the Rectory and the Hall. Miss Pinkerton?' In a word, have you, There was always a good glass of ale in the dear madam, any ladies on your list, whose kitchen of the former place for the Hall services might be made available to my kind people, whose ordinary drink was very small friend and neighbor? I assure you she will -and, indeed, the rector's lady knew ex- take no governess but of your choosing. actly how much malt went to every barrel " My dear husband is pleased to say that of Hall beer —ties of relationship existed he likes every thing which comes from VMiss between the Hall and Rectory domestics, as Pinkerton's school. How I wish I could between their. masters; and through these present him. and my beloved girls to the channels each family was perfectly well fiiend of my youth, and the admired of the acquainted with the doings of the other. great lexicographer of our country! If you That, by the way, may be set down as a ever travel into Hampshire, Mr. Crawley general remark. When you and your begs me to say he hopes you will adorn our A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 51 rural Rectory with your presence.'Tis the With my most grateful respects to the Rev humble, but happy home of erend Bute Crawley, I have the honor to be, "Your affectionate "Dear Madam, "' MARTHA CRAWLEY. "Your most faithful and obedient servant, " BARBARA PINKERTON. "P.S. Mr. Crawley's brother, the baronet, with whom we are not, alas! upon those " P.S. The Miss Sharp, whom you menterms of unity in which it becomes brethren to tion as governess to Sir Pitt Crawley, Bart., dwell, has a governess for his little girls, M.P., was a pupil of mine, and I have no who, 1 am told, had the good fortune to be thing to say in her disfavor. Though her educated at Chiswick. I hear various re- appearance is disagreeable, we can not conports of her; and as I have the tenderest trol the operations of nature; and though interest in my dearest little nieces, whom I her parents were disreputable (her father wish, in spite of family differences, to see being a painter, several times bankrupt; among my own children-and as I long to and her mother, as I have Mince learned, be attentive to any pupil of yours-do, my with horror, a dancer at the Opera), yet dear Miss Pinkerton, tell me the history of her talents are considerable, and I can not this young lady, whom, for your sake, I am regret that I received her out of charity. most anxious to befriend. M. C." My dread is, lest the principles of the mother —who was represented to me as a French Miss Pinkerton to Mrs. Bute Crawley. countess, forced to emigrate in the late revJohnson House, Chiswick, Dec. 18-. olutionary horrors; but who, as I have since DEAR MADAM- he the honor to ac- found, was a person of the very lowest order' DEAR MADAM —I have the honor to ac- and morals-should at any time prove to be knowledge your polite communication, to hereditary in the unhappy young woman which 1 promply reply.'Tis most gratify- whom I took as an outcast. But her prining to one in my most arduous position towhom I took as an outcast. But her prining to one in my most arduous position to ciples have hitherto been correct (I believe), find that my maternal cares have elicited a and I am sure nothing will occur to injure responsive affection; and to recognize in the them in the elegant and refined circle of the amiable Mrs. Bute Crawley my excellent eminent Sir Pitt Crawley." pupil of former years, the sprightly and accomplished Miss Martha MacTavish. I am Miss Rebecca Sharp to Miss Amelia Sedley. happy to have under my charge now the "I have not written to my beloved Amelia daughters of many of those who were your for these many weeks past, for what news contemporaries at my establishment —what was there to tell of the sayings and doings pleasure it would give me if your own be- at Humdrum Hall, as I have christened it; loved young ladies had need of my instructive and what do you care whether the turnip superintendence! crop is good or bad; whether the fat p;g "Presenting my respectful compliments weighed thirteen stone or fourteen; and to Lady Fuddleston, I have the honor (epis- whether the beasts thrive well upon mangel. tolarily) to introduce to her ladyship my wurzel? Every day since I last wrote hve two fiiends, Miss Tuffin and Miss Hawky. been like its neighbor. Before breakfast, a "' Either of these young ladies is perfectly walk with Sir Pitt and his spud; after qualified to instruct in Greek, Latin, and the breakfast, studies (such as they -:Je) in the rudiments of Hebrew; in mathematics and school-room; after school-room, reading and history; in Spanish, French, Italian, and writing about lawyers, leases, coal-mines, geography; in music, vocal and instrumen- canals, with Sir Pitt (whose secretary I an tal; in dancing, without the aid of a master; become); after dinner, Mr. Crawley's disand in the elements of natural sciences. In courses or the baronet's backgammon; durthe use of the globes both are proficients. ing both of which amusements my lady looks In addition to these, Miss Tuffin, who is on with equal placidity. She has become daughter of the late Reverend Thomas rather more interesting by being ailing of Tuffin (Fellow of Corpus College, Cam- late, which has brought a new visitor to the bridge), can instruct in the Syriac language, Hall, in the person of a young doctor. Well, and the elements of constitutional law. But my dear, young women need never despair. as she is only eighteen years of age, and of The young doctor gave a certain friend of exceedingly pleasing personal appearance, yours to understand that, if she chose to be perhaps this young lady may be objectionable Mrs. Glauber, she was welcome to ornain Sir Huddleston Fuddleston's family. ment the surgery! v I told his impudence "Miss Letitia Hawky, on the other hand, that the gilt pestle and mortar was quite is not personallywell-favored. She is twen- ornament enough; as if I was born, indeed, ty-nine; her face is much pitted with the to be a country surgeon's wife. Mr. Glauber small-pox. She has a halt in her gait, red went home seriously indisposed at his rehair, and a trifling obliquity of vision. Both buff, took a cooling draught, and is now ladies are endowed with every moral and quite cured. Sir Pitt applauded my resoreligious virtue. Their terms, of course, lution highly; he would be sorry to lose his are such as their accomplishments merit. little secretary, I think; and I believe the VANITY FAIR. old wretch likes me as much as it is in his county business, in the most affable manner, nature to like any one. Marry, indeed! and without quarreling iri their cups, I beand with a country apothecary, after No, lieve-indeed, Miss Crawley won't hear of no, one can not so soon forget old associa- their quarreling, and vows that she will leave tions, about which I will talk no more. Let her money to the Shropshire Crawleys if us return to Humdrum Hall. they offend her. If they were clever peo" For some time past it is Humdrum Hall ple, those Shropshire Crawleys, they might no longer. My dear, Miss Crawley has have it all, I think; but the Shropshire arrived with her fat horses, fat servants, fat Crawley is a clergyman like his Hampshire spaniel-the great, rich Miss Crawley, with cousin, and mortally offended Miss Crawley seventy thousand pounds in the five per (who had fled thither in a fit of rage against cents., whom, or I had better say which, her her impracticable brethren) by some straittwo brothers adore. She looks very apo- laced notions of morality. He would have plectic, the dear soul; no wonder her broth- prayers in the house, I believe. ers are anxious about her. You should see'Our sermon-books are shut up when them struggling to settle her cushions, or to Miss Crawley arrives, and Mr. Pitt, whom hand her coffee!' When I come into the she abominates, finds it convenient to go to country,' she says (for she has a great deal town. On the other hand, the young dandy, of humor),' I leave my toady, Miss Briggs, blood, I believe, is the term, Captain Craw at home. My brothers are my toadieshere, ley makes his appearance, and I suppose my dear, and a pretty pair they are!' you would like to know what sort of a per" When she comes into the country our son he is. Hall is thrown open, and for a month, at " Well, he is a very large young dandy. least, you would fancy old Sir Walpole was He is six feet high, and speaks with a great come to life again. We have dinner-parties, voice; and swears a great deal; and orders and drive out in the coach-and-four-the about the servants, who all adore him neverfootmen put on their newest canary-colored theless; for he is very generous of his liveries; we drink claret and champagne as money, and the domestics will do any thing if we were accustomed to it every day. We for him. Last week the keepers almost have wax candles in the school-room, and killed a bailiff and his man who came down fires to warm ourselves with. Lady Craw- fiom London to arrest the captain, and who ley is made to put on the brightest pea- were found lurking about the park wallgreen in her wardrobe, and my pupils leave they beat them, ducked them, and were off their thick shoes and tight old tartan going to shoot them for poachers, but the pelisses, and wear silk stockings and muslin baronet interfered. frocks, as fashionable baronets' daughters " The captain has a hearty contempt for should. Rose came in yesterday in a sad his father, I can see, and calls him an old plight-the Wiltshire sow (an enormous pet put, an old snob, an old chaw-bacon, and of hers) ran her down, and destroyed a most numberless other pretty names. He has a lovely flowered lilac silk dress by dancing dreadful reputation among the ladies, He over it-had this happened a week ago, Sir brings his hunters home with him, lives with Pitt would have sworn frightfully, have the squires of the county, asks whom he boxed the poor wretch's ears, and put her pleases to dinner, and Sir Pitt dares not say upon bread and water for a month. All he no, for fear of offending Miss Crawley, and said was,'I'll serve you out, Miss, when missing his legacy when she dies of her your aunt's gone,' and laughed off the acci-| apoplexy. Shall I tell you a compliment the dent as quite trivial. Let us hope his wrath captain paid me? I must, it is so pretty. will have passed away before Miss Craw- One evening we actually had a dance; there ley's departure. I hope so, for Miss Rose's was Sir Huddleston Fuddleston and his sake, I am sure. What a charming recon- family, Sir Giles Wapshot and his young ciler and peace-maker money is! ladies, and I don't know how many more. "Another admirable effect of Miss Craw- Well, I heard him say-' By Jove she's ley and her seventy thousand pounds is to a neat little -filly!' meaning your humbe seen in the conduct of the two brothers ble servant; and the honor to Crawley. I mean the baronet and the rec- dance two country dances with me. He tor, not our brothers —but the former who gets on pretty gayly with the young squires, hate each other all the year round, become with whom he drinks, bets, rides and talks quite loving at Christmas. I wrote to you about hunting and shooting; but he says the last year how the abominable horse-racing country girls are bores; indeed, I don't think rector was in the habit of preaching clumsy he is far wrong. You should see the consermons at us at church, and how Sir Pitt tempt with which they look down on poor snored in answer-when Miss Crawley ar- me! When they dance I sit and play the rives there is no such thing as quarreling piano very demurely; but the other night heard of-the Hall visits the Rectory, and coming in rather flushed from the diningvice versd-the parson and the baronet talk room, and seeing me employed in this way, about the pigs and the poachers, and the he swore out loud that I was the best dalucel ,I i.I r i ('I I i! I''~~i MISS'ILAWL~JS AFFECIONATE R ~Vj! I(!!l Ii! ~ i, ii,'!~ ~~:! i,,~f I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~' ilIi I~~'i ~ i/ ~l; \ j iiIi; ~.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~, A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 5s tm the room, and took a great oath that he as the jovial old mediatrix was there to keep would have the fiddlers from Mudbury. the peace. "' I'll go and play a country-dance,' said " Why did you ask that scoundrel, Petty Mrs. Bute Crawley, very readily (she is a Crawley, to dine?" said the rector to his little, black-faced old woman in a turban, lady, as they were walking home through rather crooked, and with very twinkling the park. "I don't want the fellow. He eyes); and after the captain and your poor looks down upon us country people as so little Rebecca had performed a dance to- many blackamoors. He's never content ungether, do you know she actually did me less he gets my yellow-sealed wine, which the h:nor to compliment me upon my steps! costs me ten shillings a bottle, hang him t Such a thing was never heard of before; Besides, he's such an infernal characterthe proud Mrs. Bute Crawley, first cousin he's a gambler-he's a drunkard-he's a to the Earl of Tiptofi, who won't condescend profligate in every way. He's killed a man to visit Lady Crawley, except when her in a duel-he's over head and ears in debt, sister is in the country. Poor Lady Craw- and he's robbed me and mine of the best ley! During most part of these gayeties, part of Miss Crawley's fortune. Waxy she is up stairs taking pills. says she has him-" here the rector shook "Mrs. Bute has all of a sudden taken a his fist at the moon, with something very great fancy to me.' My dear Miss Sharp,' like an oath, and added, in a melancholious she says,' why not bring over your girls to tone-.-., down in her will for fifty thouthe Rectory? their cousins would be so sand; and there won't be above thirty to dihappy to see them.' I know what she vide." means. Signor Clementi did not teach us "I think she's going," said the rector's the piano for nothing; at which price Mrs. wife. "She was very red in the face when Bute hopes to get a professor for her chil- we left dinner. I was obliged to unlace dren. I can see through her schemes, as her." though she told them to me; but I shall go, 1" She drank seven glasses of champagne,' as I am determined to make myself agree- said the reverend gentleman, in a low voice; able-is it not a poor governess's duty, who "and filthy champagne it is, too, that my has not a friend or protector in the world? brother poisons us with —but you women The rector's wife paid me a score of compli- never know what's what." ments about the progress my pupils made, " We know nothing," said Mrs. Bute and thought, no doubt, to touch my heart- Crawley. poor, simple, country soul! as if I cared a " She drank cherry-brandy after dinner," fig about my pupils! continued his reverence, " and took curaeoa', Your India muslin and your pink silk,- with her coffee. I wouldn't take a glass for dearest Amelia, are said to become me very a five pound note: it kills me with heartwell. They are a good deal worn now; burn. She can't stand it, Mrs. Crawleybut, you know, we poor girls can't afford she must go-flesh and bloodwon't bear it! des fraiches toilettes. Happy, happy you! and I lay five to two, that Matilda drops in who have but to drive to St. James's-street, a year." and a dear mother who will give you any Indulging in these solemn speculations, thing you ask. Farewell, dearest girl.. and thinking about his debts, and his son ",Your affectionate Jim eat College, and Frank at Woolwich, "REBECCA. and the four girls, who were no beauties, " P.S. I wish you could have seen the poor things, and would not have a penny but faces of the Miss Blackbrooks (Admiral what they got from the aunt's expected Blackbrook'fs daughters, my dear): fine legacy, the rector and his lady walked on young ladies, with dresses from London, Pitt can't be such awhile. infernal villain when Captain Rawdon selected poor me for to" Pitt can't be such at infernal villain as when Captain Ratwdon selected poor me for to sell the reversion of the living. And that Methodist milksop of an eldest son looks to When Mrs. Bute Crawley (whose artifices Parliament," continued Mr. Crawley, after our ingenious Rebecca had so soon discov- a pause. ered) had procured from Miss Sharp the " Sir Pitt Crawley will do any thing," promise of a visit, she induced the all-power- said the rector's wife. "We must get ful Miss Crawley to make the necessary ap- Miss Crawley to make him proumise it to plication to Sir Pitt, and the good-natured James." old lady, who loved to be gay herself, and "Pitt will promise any thing," replied the to see every one gay and happy round about brother. " He promised he'd pay my eolher, was quite charmed, and ready to estab- lege bills, when my father died: he promlish a reconciliation and ittiniacy between ised he'd build the new wing to the rectory: her two brothers. It was therefore agreed he promised he'd let me have Jibb's field that the young people of both families should and the six-acre meadow, and much he exvisit eack other frequently for the future, ecuted his promises! And it's to this and the friendship of course lasted as long man's son-this scoundrel, gambler, swind 64 VANITY FAIR. ler, murderer of a Rawdon Crawley that sistupon Miss Sharp appearing. Let Lady Matilda leaves the bulk of her money. I Crawley remain up stairs, if there is no say it's un-Christian. By Jove, it is. The room.. But little Miss Sharp! Why, she's infamous dog has got every vice except hy- the only person fit to talk to in the counpocrisy, and that belongs to his brother." ty!" "Hush, my dearest love! we're in Sir Of course, after such a peremptory order Pitt's grounds," interposed his wife. as this, Miss Sharp, the governess, received, "I say he has got every vice, Mrs. Craw- commands to dine with the illustrious conmley. Don't, ma'am, bully me. Didn't he pany below stairs. And when Sir Huddle. shoot Captain Firebrace? Didn't he rob ston had, with great pomp and ceremony, young Lord Dovedale at the' Cocoa-Tree?' handed Miss Crawley in to dinner, and was Didn't he cross the fight between Bill preparing to take his place by her side, the Soames and the Cheshire Trump, by which old lady cried out, in a shrill voice, " Becky I lost forty pound? You know he did; Sharp! Miss Sharp! Come you and sit by and as for the woman, why, you heard me; and let Sir Huddleston sit by Lady that before me, in my own magistrates' Wapshot." room —" When the parties were over, and the car" For Heaven's sake, Mr. Crawley," said riages had rolled away, the insatiable Miss the lady, " spare me the details." Crawley would -say, " Come to my dressing"And you ask this villain into your room, Becky, and let us abuse the company" house!" continued the exasperated rector. — which, between them, this pair cf friends You, the mother of a young family-the did perfectly. Old Sir Huddleston wheezed wife of a clergyman of the Church of Eng- a great deal at dinner; Sir Giles Wapshot land. By Jove!" had a particularly noisy manner of imbibing "' Bute Crawley, you are a fool," said the his soup, and her ladyship a wink of the left rector's wife, scornfully. eye; all of which Becky caricatured to ad" Well, ma'am, fool or not-and I don't miration; as well as the particulars of the say, Martha, I'm so clever as you are, I nev- night's conversation; the politics; the war; er did. But I won't meet Rawdon Craw- the quarter-sessions; the famous run with ley, that's flat. I'll go over to Huddleston, the H. H., and those heavy and dreary that I will, and see his black grayhound, themes, about which country gentlemen conMrs. Crawley; and I'll run Lancelot against verse. As for the Misses Wapshots' toilets, him for fifty. By Jove, I will; or against and Lady Fuddleston's famous yellow hat, any dog in England. But I won't meet that Miss Sharp tore them to tatters, to the inbeast, Rawdon Crawley." finite amusement of her audience. " Mr. Crawley, you are intoxicated, as "My dear, you are a perfect trouvaille," usual," replied his wife. And the next Miss Crawley. would say. "I wish you morning, when the rector woke, and called could come to me in London, but I couldn't for small beer, she put him in mind of his make a butt of you as I do of poor Briggspromise to visit Sir Huddleston Fuddleston, no, no, you little sly creature; you are too on Saturday, and as he knew he should clever-Isn't she, Firkin?" have a wet night, it was agreed that he Mrs. Firkin (who was dressing the very might gallop back again in time for church small remnant of hair which remained on on Sunday morning. Thus it will berseen Miss Crawley's pate) flung up her head that the parishioners of Crawley were equal- and said, " I think Miss is very clever," with ly happy in their squire and in their rector. the most killing, sarcastic air. In fact, Mrs. Firkin had that natural jealousy which is Miss Crawley had not long been establish- one of the main principles of every honest ed at the Hall before Rebecca's fascinations woman. had won the heart of that good-natured After rebuffing Sir Huddleston FuddleLondon rake, as they had of the country ston, Miss Crawley ordered that Rawdon innocents whom we have been describing. Crawley should lead her in to dinner every Taking her accustomed drive, one day, she day, and that Becky should follow with her thought fit to older that "that little gov- cushion-or else she would have Becky's erness" should accompany her to Mudb. arm and Rawdon with the pillow.'"We Before they had returned, Rebecca had must sit together," she said. "We're the made a conquest of her; having made her only three Christians in the county, my laugh four times, and amused her during love"-in which case, it must be confessed the whole of the little journey. that religion was at a very low ebb in the "Not le tWiss Sharp dine at table!" said county of Hants. she to Sir Pitt, who had arranged a dinner Besides being such a fine religionist, Miss of ceremony, and asked all the neighboring Crawley was, as we have said, an ultrabaronets. " My dear creature, do you sup- liberal in opinions, and always took occasion pose I can talk about the nursery with Lady to express the"e in the most candid manFuddleston, or discuss justices' business with ner. that goose, old Sir Giles Wapshot? I in- "i What is birth, my dear?" she would say A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 55 to Rebecca —" Look at my brother Pitt; men at Wattier's and the Cocoa Tree swear look at the Huddlestons, who have been by him.* here since Henry II.; look at poor Bute, at When Miss Rebecca Sharp wrote to her the parsonage; —are any one of them equal beloved friend the account of the little ball to you in intelligence or breeding? Equal at Queen's Crawley, and the manner in to you-they are not even equal to poor which, for the first time, Captain Crawley dear Briggs, my companion, or Rincer, my had distinguished her, she did not, strange butler. You, my love, are a little paragon to relate, give an altogether accurate ac-positively a little jewel —you have more count of the transaction. The captain had brains than half the shire-if merit had its distinguished her a great number of times reward, you ought to be a duchess; no, before. The captain had met her in a halfthere. ought to be, no duchesses at all-but score of walks. The captain had lighted you ought to have no superior, and I con- upon her in a half-hundred of corridors and sider you, my love, as my equal in every passages. The captain had hung over her respect; and-will you put some coals on piano twenty times of an evening, as (my the fire, my dear; and will you pick this lady was now up-stairs, being ill, and nodress of mine, and alter it, you who can do body heeded her) she sang. The captain it so well?" So thislold philanthropist used had written her notes (the best that the to make her equal run of her errands, ex- great blundering dragoon could devise and ecute her millinery, and read her to sleep spell; but dullness gets on as well as any with French novels, every night. other quality with women). But when he At this time, as some old readers may put the first of the notes into the leaves of recollect, the genteel world had been thrown the song she was singing, the little governess, into a considerable state of excitement, by rising and looking him steadily in the face, two events, which, as the papers say, might took up the triangular missive daintily, and give employment to gentlemen of the long waved it about as if it were a cocked hat, robe. Ensign Shafton had run away with and she, advancing to the enemy, popped the Lady Barbara Fitzurse, the Earl of,Bruin's note into the fire, and made him a very low daughter and heiress; and poor Vere Vane, courtesy, and went back to her place, and bea gentleman who, up to forty, had maintain- gan to sing away again more merrily than ed a most respectable character and reared ever. a numerous family, suddenly and outrage- "What's that?" said Miss Crawley, interously left his home, for the sake of Mrs. rupted in her after-dinner doze by the stopRougemont, the actress, who was sixty-five page of the music. years of age. " It's a false note," Miss Sharp said, with "'That was the most beautiful part of a laugh; and Rawdon Crawley fumed with dear Lord Nelson's character," Miss Craw- rage and mortification. ley said.'He went to the deuce for a wo- Seeing the evident partiality of Miss man. There must be good in a man who Crawley for the new governess, how good will do that. I adore all imprudent matches. it was of Mrs. Bute Crawley not to be jealWhat I like best, is, for a nobleman to mar- ous, and to welcome the young lady to the ay a miller's daughter, as Lord Flowerdale Rectory, and not only her, but Rawdon did-it makes all the women so angry-1 Crawley, her husband's rival in the old wish some great man would run away with maid's five per cents.! They became very you, my dear; I'm sure you're pretty fond of each other's society, Mrs. Crawley enough." and her nephew. He gave up hunting: he "' Two post-boys!-Oh! it would be de- declined entertainments at Fuddleston: he lightful!" Rebecca owned. would not dine with the mess of the dep6t "' And what I like next best, is, for a poor at Mudbury: his great pleasure was to stroll fellow to run away with a rich girl. I have over to Crawley parsonage —whither Miss set my heart on Rawdon running away Crawley came too; and as their mamma with some one." was ill, why -not the children with Miss "'A rich some one, or a poor some Sharp? So the children (little dears!) came one?" with Miss Sharp; and of an evening some " Why, you goose! Rawdon has not a'-?tJ.'ne party would walk back together. Not shilling but what I give him. He is criblg lMiss Crawley-she preferred her carriagede dettes-he must repair his fortunes, and but the walk over the Rectory fields, and in succeed in the world." at the little park wicket, and through the,"Is he very clever," Rebecca asked. dark plantation, and up the checkered av"Clever, my love?-not an idea in the enue to Queen's Crawley, wams charming in world beyond his horses, and his regiment, and his hunting, and his play; but he must * If any body considers this an overdrawn picture succeed-he's so delightfully wicked. Don't of a noble and influential class of persons, I refer you know he has killed a man, and shot an them to contemporaneous histories-such as By oinjured fathe through the bat only? He's"ron's Memoirs, for instance; in which popular illus. injured father through the hat only? He's tration of Vanity Fair, you have the morals of Riche, adored in his regiment; and'all the young lieu, and the elegance of Dutch Sam. 56 VANITY FAIR. the moonlight to two such lovers of the pic- and blue eyes, forsooth? these d ear moralists turesque as the captain and Miss Rebecca. ask, and hint wisely, that the gifts of genius,,"O those stars, those stars!" Miss Re- the accomplishments of the mind, the mas becca would say, turning her twinkling green tery of Mangnall's questions, and a ladylike eyes up toward them. " I feel inyself al- knowledge of botany and geology, the gift of most a spirit when I gaze upon then." making poetry, the power of rattling sonatas "O -ah-Gad —yes, so do I exactly, Miss in the Herz-manner, and so forth, are far Sharp?" the other enthusiast replied. "You more valuable endowments for a female,'don't mind my cigar, do you, Miss Sharp?" than those fugitive charms which a few years Miss Sharp loved the smell of a cigar out of will inevitably tarnish. It is quite edifying doors beyond every thing in the world-and to hear women speculate upon the worth she just tasted one too, in the prettiest way lessness and the duration of beauty. possible, and gave a little puff, and a little But though virtue is a much finer thing, scream, and a little giggle, and restored the and those hapless creatures who suffer undelicacy to the captain; who twirled his der the misfortune of good looks ought to be moustache, and straightway puffed it into a continually put in mind of the fate which blaze that glowed quite red in the dark plan- awaits them; and though, very likely, the tation, and swore —" Jove-aw-Gad-aw heroic female character which ladies admire -its the finest segaw I ever smoked in the is a more glorious and beautiful object than world aw," for his intellect and conversation the kind, fresh, smiling, artless, tender, little were alike brilliant and becoming to a heavy domestic goddess, whom men are inclined to young dragoon. worship-yet the latter and inferior sort of Old Sir Pitt, who was taking his pipe and women must have this consolation-that the beer, and talking to John Horrocks about a men do admire them after all; and that, in "ship" that was to be killed, espied the pair spite of all our kind friends' warnings and so occupied, from his study-window, and protests, we go on in our desperate error with dreadful oaths swore that if it wasn't and folly, and shall to the end of the chapfor Miss Crawley, he'd take Rawdon and ter. Indeed, for my own part, though I bundle'un out of doors, like a rogue as he have been repeatedly told by persons for was. whom I have the greatest respect, that Miss " He be a bad'n, sure enough," Mr. Hor- Brown is an insignificant chit,,and Mrs. rocks remarked; "and his man Flethers is White has nothing but herpetit * inois chifwuss, and have made such a row in the fonne, and Mrs. Black has not a word to say housekeeper's room about the dinners and for herself; yet I know that I have had the hale, as no lord would make-but I think most delightful conversations with Mrs. Miss Sharp's a match for'n, Sir Pitt," he Black (of course, my dear madam, they are added, after a pause. inviolable): I see all the men in a cluster And so, in truth, she was-for father and round Mrs. White's chair: all the young son too. fellows battling to dance with Miss Brown: and so I am tempted to think that to be despised by her sex is a very great compliment to a woman. CHAPTER XIT. The young ladies in Amelia's society did this for her very satisfactorily. For instance, QUITE A SENTIENT CHAPTER. there was scarcely any point upon which WE must now take leave of Arcadia, and the Miss Osbornes, George's sisters, and those amiable. people practicing the rural the Mesdemoiselles Dobbin agreed so well virtues there, and travel back to London, to as in their estimate of her very trifling merinquire what has become of Miss Amelia. its: and their wonder that their brothers "We don't care a fig for her," writes could find any charms in her. sSWe are some unknown correspondent with a pretty kind to her," the Misses Osborne said, a little hand-writing and a pink seal to her note. pair of fine, black-browed young ladies, who "She is fade and insipid," and adds some had had the best of governesses, masters, more kind remarks in this strain, which I and milliners; and they treated her with should never have repeated at all, but that such extreme kindness and condescension, they are in truth prodigiously complimenta- and patronized her so insufferably, that the ry to the young lady whom they concern. poor little thing was, in fact, perfectly dumb Has the beloved reader, in his experience in their presence, and to all outward appearof society, never heard similar remarks by ance as stupid as they thought her. She good-natured female friends; who always made efforts to like them, as in duty bound, wonder what you can see in Miss Smith and as sisters of her future husband. She that is so fascinating; or what could induce passed "long mornings" with them-the Major Jones to propose for that silly, insig- most dreary and serious of forenoons. She nificant, simpering Miss Thompson, who has' drove out solemnly in their great family nothing but her wax-doll face to recommend coach with them, and Miss Wirt their govner 1 What is there in a pair of pink cheeks erness, that raw-boned vestal. They took A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 57 her to the ancient concerts by way of a treat, 1 was very attentive to the captain, and anx and to the oratorio, and to St. Paul's, to see ious to hear his military stories, and to know the charity childret,, where, in such terror I about the health of his dear mamma), Miss was she of her friends, she almost did not Osborne would laughingly point to the oppodare be affected by the hymn the children site side of the square, and say, " Oh, you sang. Their house was comfortable; their must go to the Sedleys' to ask for George; papa's table rich and handsome; their soci- we never see him from morning till night." ety solemn and genteel; their self-respect At which kind of speech the captain would prodigious; they had the best pew at the laugh, in rather an absurd, constrained mlanFoundling; all their habits were pompous ner, and turn off the conversation, like a and orderly, and all their amusements intol- consummate man of the world, to some topic erably dull and decorous. After every one of general interest, such as the Opera, the of her visits (and 0, how glad she was when Prince's last ball at Carlton House, or the they were -over!) Miss Osborne and Miss weather-that blessing to society. Maria Osborne, and Miss TWirt, the vestal "What an innocent it is, that pet ofyours," governess, asked each other with increased Miss Maria would then say to Miss Jane, wonder, "What could George find in that upon the captain's departure. " Did you creature?" see how he blushed at the mention of poor How is this? some carping reader ex- George on duty?" claims. How is it that Amelia, who had "It's a pity Frederic Bullock hadn't some such a number of friends at school, and was of his modesty, Maria," replies the elder so beloved there, comes out into the world, sister, with a toss of her head. and is- spurned by her discriminating sex? "Modesty!" Awkwardness, you mean, My dear Sir, there were no men at Miss Jane. "I don't want Frederic to trample a Pinkerton's establishment except the old hole in my muslin fiock, as Captain Dobbin dancing-master; and you would not have did in your's at Mrs. Perkins'.' had the girls fall out about him? When "In your frock, he, he! How could he? George, their handsome brother, ran off di- Wasn't he dancing with Amelia?" rectly after breakfast, and dined from home The fact is, when Captain Dobbin blushhalf-a-dozen times a week; no wonder the ed so, and looked so awkward, he rememneglected sisters felt a little vexation. When bered a circumstance of which he did not young Bullqck (of the firm of Hulker. Bull- think it was necessary to inform the young ock and Co., Bankers, Lombard-street), who ladies, viz., that he had been calling at Mr. had been making up to Miss Maria the last Sedley's house already, on the pretense of two seasons, actually asked Amelia to dance seeing George, of course, and George wasn't the cotillion, could you expect that the former there, only poor little Amelia, with rather young lady should be pleased? And yet a sad, wistful face, seited near the drawingshe said she was, like an artless, forgiving room window, who, after some very trifling, creature. "I'm so delighted you like dear stupid talk, ventured to ask, was there any Amelia," she said quite eagerly to Mr. Bull- truth in the report that the regiment was ock, after the dance. "She's engaged to soon to be ordered abroad; and had Captain my brother George; there's not much in Dobbin seen Mr. Osborne that day? her, but she's the best-natured and most un- The regiment was not ordered abroad as affected young creature: at home we're all yet; and Captain Dobbin had not seen so fond of her." Dear girl! who can calcu- George. r"He was with his sisters, most late the depth of affection expressed in that likely," the captain said. " Should he go enthusiastic so? and fetch the truant?" So she gave him Miss Wirt and these two affectionate her hand kindly and gratefully: and he young women so earnestly and frequently crossed the square; and she waited and impressed upon George Osborne's mind the waited, but George never came. enormity of the sacrifice he was making, and "Poor little tender heart! and so it goes his romantic generosity in throwing himself on hoping and beating, and longing and trustaway upon Amelia, that I'm not sure but ing. You see it's not much of a life to dethat he really thought he was one of the scribe. There's not much of what you call most deserving characters in the British incident in it. Only one feeling all dayarmy, and gave himself up to be loved with When will he come? only one thought to a good deal of easy resignation. sleep and wake upon. I believe George Somehow, although he left home every was playing billiards with Captain Cannon morning, as was stated, and dined abroad in Swallow-street at the time when Amelia six days in the week, when his sisters be- was asking Captain Dobbin about him; for lieved the infatuated youth to be at Miss he was a jolly, sensible fellow, and excellent Sedley's apron-strings: he was not always in all games of skill. with Amelia, while the world supposed him Once, after three days of absence, Miss at her feet. Certain it is, that on more oc- Amelia put on her bonnet, and actually incasions than one, when Captain Dobbin call- vaded the Osborne house. "What! leave ed to look for his friend, Miss Osborne (who our brother to come to us?" said the young 58 VANITY FAIR. ladies. "Have you had a quarrel, Amelia? when the "Courier" newspaper had tens JDo tell us!" No, indeed, there had been of thousands of subscribers; when one day no quarrel. 1"Who could quarrel with him," brought you a battle or Vittoria, another a says she, with her eyes filled with tears. burning of Mosrow, or a newsman's horn She only came over to- to see her dear blowing down Russell-square about dinnerfriends; they had not met for so long. And time announced such a fact as —; Battle of this day she was so perfectly stupid and Leipsic-sixhundred thousand men engaged awkward, that the Miss Osbornes and their — total defeat of the French —two hundred governess, who stared after her as she went thousand killed." Old Sedley once or twice sadly away, wondered more than ever what cane home with a very grave face; and no George could see in poor little Amelia. wonder, when such nerws as this was agiOf course they did. How was she to tating all the hearts and all the stocks of bare that timid little heart for the inspection. Europe. of those young ladies with their bold, black I Meanwhile matters went on in Russell eyes? Itwas best that it should shrink and square, Bloomsbury, just as if matters in hide itself. 1 know the Miss Osbornes were Europe were not in the least disorganized. excellent critics of a cashmere shawl, or a The retreat from Leipsic made no differpink satin slip; and when Miss Turner had ence in' the number of meals Mr. Sambo hers dyed purple, and made into a spencer; took in the servant's hall; the allies poured and when Miss Pickford had her ermine into France, and the dinner-bell rang at five tippet twisted into a muff and trimmings, I o'clock just as usual. I don't think poor warrantryou the changes did not escape the Amelia cared any thing about Brienne and two intelligent young women before men- Montiuirail, or was fairly interested in the. tioned. But there are things, look you, of war until the abdication of the emperor; a finer texture than fur or satin, and all Sol- when she clapped her hands and said prayomon's glories, and all the wardrobe of the ers-oh, how grateful! and flung herself Queen of Sheba; —things, whereof the into George Osborne's arms with all her beauty escapes the eyes of many connois- soul, to the astonishment of every body who seurs. And there are sweet, modest little witnessed that ebullition of sentiment. The souls on which you light, fragrant and bloom- fact is, peace was declared, Europe was ing tenderly in quiet, shady places; and going to be at rest; the Corsican was overthere are garden-ornaments, as big as brass thrown, and Lieutenant Osborne's regiment warming-pans, that are fit to stare the sun would not be ordered on service. That was itself out of countenance. Miss Sedley was the way in which Miss Amelia reasoned. not of the sun-flower sort; and I say it is The fate of Europe was Lieutenant George out of the rules of all proportion to draw a Osborne to her. His dangers being over, violet of the size of a d&uble dahlia. she sang to Heaven. He was her Europe: No, indeed; the life of a good young girl her emperor: her allied monarchs and auwho is in the paternal nest as yet, can't have gust prince regent. He was her sun and many of those thrilling incidents to which moon; and I believe she thought the grand the heroine of romance commonly lays claim. illumination and ball at the Mansion House, Snares or shot may take off the old birds given to the sovereigns, were especially in foraging without-hawks may be abroad, honor of George Osborne. from which they escape or by whom they We have talked of shift, self, and poverty, suffer; but the young ones in the nest have as those dismal instructors under whom poor a pretty comfortable, unromantic sort of Miss Becky Sharp got her education. Now, existence in the down and the straw, till it love was Miss Amelia Sedley's last tutoress comes to their turn, too, to get on the wing. and it was amazing what progress our young While Becky Sharp was on her own wing lady made undemr that popular teacher. In in the country, hopping on all sorts of twigs, the course of fifteen or eighteen months' and amid a multiplicity of traps, and pecking daily and constant attention to this eminent up her food quite harmless and successful, finishing governess, what a deal of secrets Amelia lay snug in her home of Russell- Amelia learned, which Miss Wirt and the square; if she went into the world, it was black-eyed young ladies over the way, which under the guidance of the elders; nor did it old Miss Pinkerton of Chiswick herself, had seem that any evil could befall her or that no cognizance of! As, indeed, how should opulent, cheery, comfortable home in which any of those prim and reputable virgins? she was affectionately sheltered. Mamma With Misses P. and W. the tender passion had her morning duties, and her daily drive, is out of the question: I would not dare to and that delightful round of visits and shop- breathe such an idea regarding them. Miss ping which forms the amusement, or the Maria Osborne, it is true, was "attached" profession as you may call it, of the rich to Mr. Frederic Augustus Bullock, of the London lady. Papa conducted his myste- firm of Hulker, Bullock, and Bullock; buht rious operations in the city-a stirring place hers was a most respectable attachment, in those days, when war was raging all over and she would have taken Bullock senior, Europe, and empires were being staked; just the same, her mind being fixed-as that. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 59 of a well-bred young woman should be- ion, Miss Amelia neglected her twelve dear upon a house in Park-lane, a country house friends at Chiswick most cruelly, as such at Wimbledon, a handsome chariot, and two selfish people commonly will do. She bad prodigious tall horses and footmen, and a but this subject, of course, to think about; fourth of the annual profits of the eminent and Miss Saltire was too cold for a confifirm of Hulker & Bullock, all of which ad- dante, and she couldn't bring her mind to vantages were represented in the person of tell Miss Swartz, the woolly-haired young Frederic Augustus. Had orange blossoms heiress from St. Kitt's. She had little been invented then (those touching emblems Laura Martin home for the holidays; and of female purity imported by us from France, my belief is, she made a confidante of her, where people's daughters are universally and promised that Laura should comne and sold in marriage), Miss Maria, I say, would live with her wlien she was married, and have assumed the spotless wreath, and step- gave Laura a great deal of information reped into th.e traveling carriage by the side garding the passion of love, which must have of gouty, old, bald-headed, bottle-nosed Bul- been singularly useful and novel to that little lock senior; and devoted her beautiful ex- person. Alas, alas! I fear she had not a istence to his happiness with perfect modesty well-regulated mind. -only the old gentleman was married al- What were her parents doing, not to keep ready; so she bestowed her young affections this little heart firom beating so fast? Old on the junior partner. Sweet, blooming, Sedley did not seem much to notice matorange flowers! The other day I saw Miss ters. He was graver of late, and his city Trotter (that was), arrayed in them, trip affaifrs absorbed him. Mrs. Sedley was of into the traveling carriage at St. George's, so easy and uninquisitive a nature, that she THanover-square, and Lord Methuselah hob- wasn't even jealous. Mr. Jos was away, bled in after. With what an engaging mod- being besieged by an Irish widow at Chelesty she pulled down the blinds of the tenham. Amelia had the house to herself chariot-the dear innocent! There were -ah! too much to herself sometimes-not half the carriages of Vanity Fair at the that she ever doubted; for, to be sure, wedding. George must be at the Horse-Guards; and This was not the sort of love that finished he can't always get leave from Chathamn; Amelia's education; and in the course of a and he must see his friends and sisters, and year turned a good young girl into a good mingle in society when in town (he such an young woman-to be a good wife presently, ornament to every society!); and when he when the happy time should come. This is with the regiment, he is too tired to write young person (perhaps it was very impru- long letters. I know where she kept that dent in her parents to encourage her, and packet she had-and can steal in and out of abet her in such idolatry and silly romantic her chamber like Iachimo-like Iachimo? ideas) loved, with all her heart, the young No-that is a bad part. I will only act officer in his Majesty's service with whom Moonshine, and peep harmless into the bed we have made a brief acquaintance. She where faith and beauty and innocence lie thought about him the very first moment on dreaming. waking; and his was the very last name But if Osborne's were short and soldiermentioned in her prayers. She never had like letters, it must be confessed, that were seen a man so beautiful or so clever: such a Miss Sedley's letters to Mr. Osborne to be figure on horseback: such a dancer: such a published, we should have to extend this novel hero in general. Talk of the prince's bow! to such a multiplicity of volumes as not the what was it to George's? She had seen most sentimental reader could support; that Mr. Brummell, whom every body praised she not only filled sheets of large paper, but so. Compare such a person as that to her crossed them with the most astonishing George! Not among all the beaux at the perverseness; that she wrote whole pages Opera (and there were beaux in those days out of poetry-books without the least pity; with actual opera hats) was there any one that she underlined words and passages with to equal him. He was only good enough to quite a fiantic emphasis; and, in fine, gave be a fairy prince; and oh, what magnanimity the usual tokens of her condition. She to stoop to such a humble Cinderella! Miss wasn't a heroine. Her letters were full of Pinkerton would have tried to check this repetition. She wrote rather doubtful gramblind devotion very likely, had she been mar sometimes, and in her verses took all Amelia's confidante; but not with much sorts of liberties with the meter. But oh, success, depend upon it. It is in the nature mesdames, if you are not allowed to touch and instinct of some women. Some are the heart sometimes in spite of syntax, and made to scheme, and some to love; and I are not to be loved until you all know the wish any respected bachelor that reads this difference between trimeter and tetrameter, may take the sort that best likes him. may all poetry go to the deuce, and every While under this overpowering impress- schoolmaster perish miserably! 60 VANITY FAIR. CHAPTER XIII. none of which conjectures would Osborne throw the least light, leaving his young ad mirers and friends to invent and arrange I FEAR the gentleman to whom Miss Ame- their whole history. lia's letters were addressed was rather an And the real state of the case -would obdurate critic. Such a number of notes never have been known at all in the regifollowed Lieutenant Osborne about the coun- ment but for Captain Dobbin's indiscl etion. try, that he became almost ashamed of the The captain was eating his breakfast one jokes of his mess-room companions regard- day in the mess-room, while Cackle, the asing them, and ordered his servant never to sistant-surgeon, and the two above-named deliver them, except ath14s private apart- worthies were speculating upon Osborne's ment. He was seen lighting his cigar with intrigue-Stubbles holding out that the lady one, to the horror of Captain Dobbin, who, was a duchess about Queen Charlotte's it is my belief, would have given a bank-note court, and Cackle vowing that she was an opfor the document. era-singer of the worst reputation. At this For some time George strove to keep the idea Dobbin became so moved, that though liaison a secret. There was a woman in the his mouth was full of egg and bread-andcase, that he admitted. " And not the first buttel at the time, and though he ought not either," said Ensign Spooneyto Ensign Stub- to have spoken at all, yet he couldn't help bles. " That Osborne's a devil of a fellow. blurting out, "Cackle, you're a thtupid fool. There was a judge's daughter at Demerara You're alwayth talking nonthenth and thcanwent almost mad about him; then there dal. Othborne ith not going to run off with Was that beautiful quadroon girl, Miss Pye, a duchess or ruin a milliner. Miss Sedley at St. Vincent's, you know; and since he's is one of the most charming young women been home, they say he's a regular Don that ever lived. He's been engaged to her Giovanni, by Jove." ever so long; and the man who calls her Stubbles and Spooney thought that to be names had better not do so in my hearing." a "regular Don Giovanni by Jove" was one WTith which, turhing exceedingly red, Dobof the finest qualities a man could possess; bin ceased speaking, and almost choked himand Osborne's reputation was prodigious self with a cup of tea. The story was over among the young men of the regiment. He the regiment in half-an-hour; and that very was famous in field-sports, famous at a song, evening Mrs. Major O'Dowd wrote off to famous on parade; free with his money, her sister Glorvina at O'Dowdston not to which was bountifully supplied by his father. hurry from Dublin —young Osborne being His coats were better made than any man's prematurely engaged already. in the regiment, and he had more of them. She complimented the lieutenant in an He was adored by the men. He could drink appropriate speech over a glass of whiskymore than any officer of the whole mess, toddy that evening, and he went home perincluding old Heavytop, the colonel. He fectly furious to quarrel with Dobbin, (who could spar better than Knuckles, the private had declined Mrs. Major O'Dowd's party, (who would have been a corporal but for his and sat in his own room playing the flute, drunkenness, and who had been in the prize- and, I believe, writing poetry in a very melring); and was the best batter and bowler, ancholy manner)-to quarrel with Dobbin out and out, of the regimental club. He for betraying his secret. rode his own horse, Greased Lightning, and "Who the deuce asked you to talk about won the garrison cup at Quebec races. my affairs," Osborne shouted indignantly. There were other people besides Amelia " Why the devil is all the regiment to know whoworshiped him. Stubbles and Spooney that I am going to be married? Why is thought him a sort of Apollo; Dobbin took that tattling old harridan, Peggy O'Dowd, him to be an Admirable Crichton; and Mrs. to make free with my name over her d-d Major O'Dowd acknowledged he was an supper-table, and advertise my engagement elegant young fellow, and put her in mind over the three kingdoms? After all, what of Fitzjurld Fogarty, Lord Castle-fogarty's right have you to say I am engaged, or to second son. meddle in my business at all, Dobbin?" Well, Stubbles and Spooney and the rest "It seems to me," Captain Dobbin began. indulged in most romantic conjectures re- "Seems be hanged, Dobbin," his junior garding this female correspondence of Os- interrupted him. "I am under obligations borne's-opining that it was a duchess in to you, I know it, a d-d deal too well, too; London, -who'was in love with him-or that but I won't be always sermonized by you it was a general's daughter, who was en- because you're five years my senior. I'm gaged to somebody else, and madly attached hanged if I'll stand your airs of superiority to him-or that it was a member of parlia- and infernal pity and patronage. Pity and nent's lady, who proposed four horses and patronage! I should like to know in what an elopement-or that it was some other I'm your inferior?" victim of a passion delightfully exciting, ro- "Are you engaged?" Captain Dobbin in mantic, and disgraceful to all parties, on terposed. (Y-) R\9~~.q L9 L.ZL — q3'T qAa:a:N8a,-zr so rEYl Crr~fqVr l i_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~iJ i" 81 D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~F dII A NOVEL WITHO'UT A HERO. 61 " What the devil's that to you or any one, "I believe she's d-d fond of me," the here if I am?" lieutenant said, with a self-satisfied air; and "Are you ashamed of it?" Dobbir' re- went off to finish the evening with some sumed., jolly fellows-in the mess-room. "What right have you to ask me that Amelia meanwhile, in Russell-square, question, sir? I should like to know," George was looking at the moon, which was shining said. upon that peaceful spot, as well as upon the i" Good God, you don't mean to say you square of the Chatham barracks, where want to break off?" asked Dobbin, starting Lieutenant Osborne was quartered, and up. thinking to herself how her hero was em"In other words, yoqu ask me if I'm a ployed. Perhaps he is visiting the sentries, man of honor," said Osborne, fiercely; " is thought she; perhaps he is bivouacking; that what you mean? You've adopted such perhaps he is attending the couch of a a tone regarding me lately that I'm - if wounded comrade, or studying the art of I'll bear it any more." war up in his own desolate chamber And "What have I done? I've told you you her kind thoughts sped away as if they were were neglecting a sweet girl, George. I've'angels and had wings, and flying down the told you that when you go to town-you river to Chatham and Rochester, strove to ought to go to her, and not to the gambling- peep into the barracks where George was. houses about St. James's." All things considered, I think it was as "You want your money back, I sup- well the gates were shut, and the sentry alpose," said George, with a sneer. lowed no one to pass; so that the poor little "Of course I do —I always did, didn't white-robed angel could not hear the songs I?" says Dobbin. "You speak like a gen- those young fellows were roaring over the erous fellow." whisky-punch. "No, hang it, William, I beg your par- The day after the little copversation at don"-here George interposed in a fit of re- Chatham barracks, young Osborne, to show morse; "you have been my friend in a:that he would be as good as his word, pre hundred ways, Heaven knows. You've got pared to go to town, thereby incurring C(apme out of a score of scrapes. When Craw- tain Dobbin's applause. "I should have ley of the Guards won that sum of money liked to make her a little present," Osborne of me I should have been done but for you: said to his friend in confidence, "only I am I know I should. But you shouldn't deal quite out of cash until my father tips up." so hardly with me; you shouldn't be al- But Dobbin would not allow this good nature ways catechizing me. I am very fond of and generosity to be balked, and so accomAmelia; I adore her, and that sort of thing. modated Mr. Osborne with a few pound Don't look angry. She's faultless; I know notes, which the latter took after a little faint she is. But you see there's no fun in win- scruple. ning a thing unless you play for it. Hang And I dare say he would have bought it: the regiment's just back from the West something very handsome for Amelia; only, Indies, I must have a little fling, and then getting off the coach in Fleet-street, he was when I'm married I'll reform; I will upon attracted by a handsome shirt-pin in a jewmy honor, now. And-I say-Dob-don't eler's window, which he could not resist; be angry with me, and I'll give you a hundred and having paid for that, had very little next month, when I know my father will money to spare for indulging in any further stand something handsome; and I'll ask exercise of kindness. Never mind: you Heavytop for leave, and I'll go to town, and may be sure it was not his presents Amelia see Amelia to-morrow-there now, will that wanted. When he came to Russell-square, satisfy you?" her face lighted up as if he had been sun"It's impossible to be long angry with shine. The little cares, fears, tears, timid you, George," said the good-natured cap- misgivings, sleepless fancies of I don't know tain; "' and as for the money, old boy, you how many days and nights, were forgotten, know if I wanted it you'd share your last under one moment's influence of that fashilling With me." miliar, irresistible smile. He beamed on " That I would, by Jove, Dobbin," George her friom the drawing-room door-magnifisaid, with the greatest generosity, though, cent, with ambrosial whiskers, like a god. by the way, he never had any money to Sambo, whose face, as he announced Capspare. tain Osbin (having conferred a brevet rank " Only I wish you had sown those wild- on that young officer), blazed with a sympaoats of yours, George. If you could have thetic grin, saw the little girl start, and flush, seen poor little Miss Emmy's face when she- and jump up from her watching-place in asked me about you the other day, you the window; and Sambo retreated: and as would have pitched those billiard-balls to the soon as the door was shut, she went flutterdeuce. Go and comnfort her, you rascal. ing to Lieutenant George Osborne's heart Go and write her a long letter. Do some- as if it was the only natural home for her to thing to make her happy; a very little will." nestle in. Oh, thou poor, panting little soul! 62 VANiTY FAIR. The very finest tree in the whole forest, rid woman and her vulgarities, and the with the straightest stem, and the strongest rough treatment of a soldier's wife. He arms, and the thickest foliage, wherein you didn't care for himself-not he; but his dear choose to build and coo, may be marked, for little girl should take the place in society to what you know, and may be down with a which as his wife she was entitled; and to crash ere long. What an old, old simile that these proposals you may be sure she acis, between man and timber! ceded, as she would to any other from the In the mean while, George kissed her same author. very kindly on her forehead and glistening Holding this kind of conversation, and eyes, and was very gracious and good; and building numberless castles in the air (which she thought his diamond shirt-pin (which Amelia adorned with all sorts of flower. she had not known him to wear before) the gardens, rustic walks, country churches, prettiest ornament ever seen. Sunday schools, and the like; while George had his mind's eye directed to the stables, The observant reader, who has marked the kennel, and the cellar), this young pair our young lieutenant's previous behavior, passed away a couple of hours very pleasand has preserved our report of the brief antly; and as the lieutenant had only that conversation which he has just had with single day in town, and a great deal of most Captain Dobbin, has possibly come to cer- important business to transact, it was protain conclusions regarding the character of posed that IMIiss Emmy should dine with her MIr. Osborne. Some cynical Frenchman fuiture sisters-in-law. This invitation was has said that there are two parties to a love- accepted joyfully. He conducted her to his transaction: the one who loves and the other sisters; where he left her talking and pratwho condescends to be so treated. Perhaps tling in a way that astonished those ladies, the love is occasionally on the man's side: who thought that George might make someperhaps on the lady's. Perhaps some infatu- thing of her; and then went off to transact ited swain has ere this mistaken insensibili- his business. -y for modesty, dullness for maiden-reserve, In a word, he went out and ate ices at a mere vacuity for sweet bashfulness, and a pastry-cook's shop in Charing Cross; tried goose, in a word, for a swan. Perhaps a ptew coat in Pall Mall; dropped in at the some beloved female subscriber has arrayed Old Slaughter's, and called for Captain an ass in the splendor and glory of her im- Cannon; played eleven games at billiards agination; admired his dullness as manly with the captain, of which he won eight, simplicity; worshiped his selfishness as and returned to Russel-square half-an-hour manly superiority; treated his stupidity as late for dinner, but in very good humor. majestic gravity, and used him as the brilliant fairy Titania did a certain carpenter of It was not so with old Mr. Osborne. Athens. I think I have seen such comedies When that. gentleman came from the city, of errors going on in the world. But this is and was welcomed in the drawing-room by certain, that Amelia believed her lover to be his daughters and the elegant Miss Wirt, one of the most gallant and brilliant men in they saw at once by his face-which was the empire: and it is possible that Lieuten- puffy, solemn, and yellow at the best of ant Osborne thought so too. times-and by the scowl and twitching of He was a little wild: how many young his black eyebrows, that the heart within men are; and don't girls like a rake better his large white waistcoat was disturbed and than a milksop? He hadn't sown his wild uneasy. When Amelia stepped forward to oats as yet, but he would soon: and quit salute him, which she always did with great the army, now that peace was proclaimed; trembling and timidity, he gave a surly grunt the Corsican monster locked up at Elba; of recognition, and dropped the little hand promotion, by consequence, over; and no out of his great hiirsute paw without any at chance left for the display of his undoubted tempt to hold it there. He looked round military talents and valor: and his allow- gloomily at his eldest daughter; who, comance, with Amelia's settlement, would en- prehending the meaning of his look, which able them to take a snug place in the asked unmistakably, " Why the devil is she country somewhere, in a good sporting here?" said at once:neighborhood; and he would hunt a little, "George is in town, papa; and has gone and farm a little: and they would be very to the Horse Guards, and will be back to happy. As for remaining in the army as a dinner." married man, that was impossible. Fancy " O, he is, is he? I won't have the dinner Mrs. George Osborne in lodgings in a coun- kept waiting for him, Maria:" with which try town; or, worse still, in the East or this worthy man lapsed into his particular West Indies, with a society of officers, and chair, and then the utter silence in his genpatronized by Mrs. Major O'Dowd! Ame- teel, well-furnished drawing-room, was only lia died with laughing at Osborne's stories interrupted by the alarmed ticking of the about Mrs. Major O'Dowd. He loved her great French clock. much too fondly to subject her to that kor- When that chronometer; which was sur ......... __,m...~_____ _'..II.!~~~ ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I i~lj,i/,,,!! ] IrI I IiI!/R. OsBORNE'S WPUCOMF, TO/MTt ( /.) ~~f ii ~~ ~~ /'1 ~~ -~!~~. ~ —!,. l/,~ ~~~ ~,.~ I~ -ll''J"~~~~~ 1 I ~ ~~ ~~ i' j/iB~I~III]~ Mi't.0IO~'S t,,OET I.'IPrI fn~ A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 63 mounted by a cheerful brass group of the banquets at Mr. Osborne's house, the signa. sacrifice of [phigenia, tolled five, in a heavy to make sail for the drawing-roomr was given, cathedral tone, Mr. Osborne pulled the bell and they all arose and departed. Amelia at his right hand violently, and the butler hoped George would soon join them there. rushed up. She began playing some of his favorite " Dinner!" roared Mr. Osborne. waltzes (then newly imported) at the great "Mr. George isn't come in, sir," inter- carved-legged, leather-cased grand piano in posed the man. the drawing-room overhead. This little ar"'Damn Mr. George, sir. Am I master tifice did not bring him. He was dgaf to the of the house? DINNER!" Mr. Osborne waltzes; they grew fainter and fainter; the scowled. Amelia trembled. A telegraphic discomfited performer left the huge instrucommunication of eyes passed between the ment presently; and though her three other three ladies. The obedient bell in friends performed some of the loudest and the lower regions began ringing the an- most brilliant new pieces of their repertoire, nouncement of the meal. The tolling over, she did not hear a single note, but sat thinkthe head of the family thrust his hands into ing, and boding evil. Old Osborne's scowl, the great tail-pockets of his great blue coat terrific always, had never before looked so and brass bluttons, and without waiting for a deadly to her. His eyes followed her out further announcement, strode down stairs of the room, as if she had been guilty of alone, scowling over his shoulder at the four something. When they brought her coffee, females. she started as though it were a cup of poison "'What's the matter now, my dear?" which Mr. Hicks, the butler, wished to asked one of the other, as they rose and propose to her. What mystery was there tripped gingerly behind the sire. lurking? Oh, those women! They nurse "I suppose the funds are falling," whis- and cuddle their presentiments, and make pered Miss Wirt; and so, trembling and in darlings of their ugliest thoughts, as they do silence, this hushed female company follow- of their deformed children. ed their dark leader. They took their The gloom on the paternal countenance places in silence. He growled out a bless- had also impressed George Osborne with ing, which sounded as gruffly as a curse. anxiety. With such eyebrows, and a look The great silver dish-covers were removed. so decidedly bilious, how was he to extract Amelia trembled in her place, for she was that money from the governor, of which next the awful Osborne, and alone on her George was consumedly in want? He beside of the table,-the gap being occasioned gan praising his father's wine. That was by the absence of George. generally a successful means of cajoling the ":Soup?" says Mr. Osborne, clutching the old gentleman. ladle, fixing his eyes on her, in a sepulchral "We never got such Madeira in the ~West tone; and having helped her and the rest, Indies, sir, as yours. Colonel Heavytop did not speak for a while. took'off three bottles of that you sent tile "' Take Miss Sedley's plate away," at last down, under his belt, the other day." he said. " She can't eat the soup, no more "Did he?" said the old gentleman. " It can I. It's beastly. Take away the soup, stands me in eight shillings a bottle." Hicks, and to-morrow turn the cook out of i" Will you take six guineas a dozen for it, the house, Maria." sir?" said George, with a laugh. " There's Having concluded his observations upon one of the greatest men in the kingdom the soup, Mr. Osborne made a few curt re- wants some." marks respecting the fish, also of a savage " Does he?" growled the senior. "Wish and satirical tendency, and cursed Billings- he may get it." gate with an emphasis quite worthy of the "When General Daguilet was at Chatplace. Then he lapsed into silence, and ham, sir, Heavytop gave him a breakfast, swallowed sundry glasses of wine, looking and asked me for some of the wine. The more and snore terrible, till a brisk knock at general liked it just as well-wanted a pipe the door told of George's arrival, when every for the commander-in-chief. He's his royal body began to rally. highness's right-hand man." "He could not come before. General "It is devilish fine wine," said the eyeDaguilet had kept him waiting at the Horse brows, and they looked more good-humored; Guards. Never mind soup or fish. Give and George was going to take advantage of him any thing-he didn't care what. Capi- this complacency, and bring the supply questal mutton-capital every thing." His good tion on the mahogany; when the father, rehumor contrasted with his father's severity; lapsing into solemnity, though rather cordial and he rattled on unceasingly during dinner, in manner, bade him ring the bell for claret. to the delight of all-of one especially, who " And we'll see if that's as good as the Maneed not be mentioned. deira, George, to which his royal highness As soon as the young ladies had discussed is welcome, I'm sure. And as we are the orange and the glass of wine, which drinking it, I'll talk to you about a matter of formed the ordinary conclusion of the dismal importance." 64 VANITY FAIR. Amelia heard the claret bell ringing as'em. Mix with the young nobility. There s she sat nervously up-stairs. She thought, many of'em who can't spend a dollar to somehow, it was a mysterious and presenti- your guinea, my boy. And as for the pink mental bell. Of the presentiments which bonnets (here from under the heavy eyesome people are always having, some surely brows there came a knowing and not very must come right. pleasing leer)-why boys will be boys. Only "What I want to know, George," the old there's one thing I order you to: avoid, gentleman said, after slowly smacking his which, if you do not, I'll cut you off with a first bumper. "What I want to know is, shilling, by Jove; and that's gambling, sir." how you and-ah-that little thing up-stairs, "Oh, of course, sir," said George. are carrying on?" "But to return to the other business "I think, sir, it's not hard to see," George about Amelia: why shouldn't you marry said, with a self-satisfied grin. "Pretty higher than a stockbroker's daughter, George clear, sir.-What capital wine!" -that's what I want to know?" "What d'you mean, pretty clear, sir?" " It's a family business, sir," says George, "Why, hang it, sir, don't push me too cracking filberts. "You and Mr. Sedley hard. I'm a modest man. I-ah-I don't made the match a hundred years ago." set up to be a lady-killer; but I do own that "I don't deny it; but people's positions she's as devilish fond of me as she can be. alter, sir. I don't deny that Sedley made Any body can see that with half an eye." my fortune, or rather put me in the way of' And you yourself?" acquiring, by my own talents and genius, " Why, sir, didn't you order me to marry that proud position, which, I may say, I ocher, and ain't I a good boy? Haven't our cupy in the tallow trade and the city of papas settled it ever so long?" London. I've shown my gratitude to Sed"A pretty boy, indeed. Haven't I heard ley; and he's tried it of late, sir, as my of your doings, sir, with Lord Tarquin, check-book can show. George! I tells you Captain Crawley of the Guards, the Honor- in confidence I don't like the looks of Mr. able Mr. Deuceace and that set. Have a Sedley'saffairs. Mychiefclerk, Mr. Chopcare, sir, have a care." per, does not like the looks of'em, and he's The old gentleman pronounced these anold file, and knows Change as well as any aristocratic names with the greatest gusto. man in London. Hulker and Bullock are Whenever he met a great man he groveled looking shy at him. He's been dabbling on before him, and my-lorded him as only a his own account, I fear. They say the fiee-born Briton can do. He carne home Jeune Amelie was his, which was taken by and looked out his history in the peerage: the Yankee Privateer Molasses. And that's he introduced his name into his daily con- flat-unless I see Amelia's ten thousand versation; he bragged about his lordship to down you don't marry her. i'll have no his daughters. He fell down prostrate and }lame duck's daughter in my family. Pass basked in him as a Neapolitan beggar does the wine, sir-or ring for coffee." in the sun. George was alarmed when he WVith which Mr. Osborne spread out lhe heard the names. He feared his father evening paper, and George knew fiom this might have been informed of certain trans- signal that the colloquy was ended, and that actions at play. But the old moralist eased his papa was about to take a nap. him by saying serenely, He hurried up stairs to Amelia in tile "Well, well, young men will be young highest spirits. What was it that made him men. And the comfort to me is, George, more attentive to her on that night than he that living in the best society in England, as had been for a long time-more eager to I hope you do; as I think you do; as my amuse her, more tender, more brilliant in means will allow you to do"- talk? Was it that his generous heart warm"Thank you, sir," says George, making ed to her at the prospect of misfortune; or his point at once. "One can't live with that the idea of losing the dear little prize these great folks for nothing; and my purse, made him value it more? sir, look at it;" and he held up a little token She lived upon the recollections of that which had been netted by Amelia, and con- happy evening for many days afterward, retained tlie very last of Dobbin's pound notes. mermbering his words; his looks; the song "You shan't want, sir. The British lie sang; his atlitude, as he leaned over her merchant's son shan't want, sir. My guin- or looked at her from a distance. As it eas are as good as theirs, George, my boy.; seemed to her, no night ever passed so and I don't grudge'em. Call on Mr. Chop- quickly at Mr. Osborne's house before; and per as you go through the city to-morrow; for once this young person was almost prohe'll have something for you. I don't voked to be angry by the premature arrival grudge money when I know you're in good of Mr. Sambo with her shawl. society, because I know that good society.George came and took a tender leave of can never go wrong. There's no pride in her the next morning: and then hurried me. I was a humbly born man-but you off to the city, where he visited Mr. Chophave had advantages. Make a good use of per, his father's head man, a'nd received A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 65 from that gentleman a document which he chamber warmed properly as for the recepexchanged at Hulker & Bullock's for a tion of an invalid. Messengers went off for whole pocket-full of money. As George her physician and medical man. They entered, the house, old John Sedley was came, consulted, prescribed, vanished. The passing out of the banker's parlor, looking young companion of Miss Crawley, at the very dismal. But his godson was much too conclusion of their interview, came in to reelated to mark the worthy stockbroker's de- ceive- their instructions, and administered pression, or the dreary eyes which the kind those antiphlogistic medicines which the emold gentleman cast upon him. Young Bul- inent men ordered. lock did not come grinning out'of the parlor Captain Crawley, of the Life Guards, with him as had been his wont in former rode up froml Knightsbridge Barracks the years. next day: his black charger pawed the straw And as the swinging doors of Hulker, before his invalid aunt's door. He was most Bullock & Co. closed upon Mr. Sedley, Mr. affectionate in his inquiries regarding that Quill, the cashier (whose benevolent occu- amiable relative. There seemed to be much pation it is to hand out crisp bank-notes source of apprehension. He found Miss from a drawer and dispense sovereigns out Crawley's maid (the discontented female) of a copper shovel), winked at Mr. Driver, unusually sulky and despondent: he found the clerk at the desk on his right. Mr. Miss Briggs, her dame de compagnie, in tears, Driver winked again. alone in the drawing-room. She had hast"'No go," Mr. D. whispered. ened home, hearing of her beloved friend's " Not at no price," Mr. Q. said. "Mr. illness. She wished to fly to her couch, George Osborne, sir, how will you take it?" that couch which she, Briggs, had so often George crammed eagerly a quantity of notes smoothed in the hour of sickness. She was into his pockets, and paid Dobbin fifty pounds denied admission to Miss Crawley's apartthat very evenin, at mess. ment. A stranger was administering her That very evening Amelia wrote him the medicines-a stranger from the country-an tenderest of long letters. Her heart was odious Miss.... tears choked the utteroverflowing with tenderness, but it still fore- ance of the dame de compagnie, and she boded evil. What was the cause of Mr. buried her crushed affections and her poor Osborne's dark looks? she asked. Had any old red nose in her pocket-handkerchief. difference arisen between him and her Rawdon Crawley sent up his name by papa? Her poor papa returned so melan- the sulky femme de chambre, and Miss choly from the city, that all were alarmed Crawley's new companion, coming tripping about him at home-in fine, there were four down from the sick-room, put a little hand pages of loves and fears and hopes and fore- into his as he stepped forward eagerly to bodings. meet her, gave a glance of great scorn at the "' Poor little Emmy-dear little Emmy. bewildered Briggs, and, beckoning the young How fond she is of me," George said, as he guardsman out of the back drawing-room, perused the missive —" and, Gad, what a led him down stairs into that now desolate headache that mixed punch has given me!" dining-parlor, where so many a good dinner Poor little Emmy, indeed. had been celebrated. Here these two talked for ten minutes, discussing, no doubt, the symptoms of the old invalid above stairs; at the end of which CHAPTER IX. period the parlor-bell was rung briskly, and answered on that instant by Mr. Bowls, ~MISS CPRAWLEY AT HOME. Miss Crawley's large confidential butler. ABOUT this time there drove up to an ex- (who, indeed, happened to be at the keyhole ceedingly snug and well appointed house in during the most part of the interview);, and Park-lane a traveling chariot with a lozenge the captain coming out, curling his mouson the panels, a discontented female in a tachios, mounted the black charger pawing green vail and crimped curls on the rumble, among the straw to the admiration of the and a large and confidential man on the box. little blackguard boys collected in the street.. It was the equipage of our friend Miss Craw- He looked in at the dining-room window, ley, returning fiom Hants. The windows managing his horse, which curveted and caof the carriage were shut: the fat spaniel, pered beautifully —for one instant the young whose head and tongue ordinarily lolled out person might be seen at the window, then of one of them, reposed on the lap of the her figure vanished, and, doubtless, she went discontertd female. When the vehicle up-stairs again to resume the affecting dustopped, a large round bundle of shawls was ties of benevolence. takel out of the calriage by the aid of vai- Who could this young woman be, I wonous domestics and a young lady who accom- der? Thatevening a little dinner for two. pan ied the heap of cloaks. That bundle persons was laid in the dining-room-when, contained Miss Crawley, who was conveyed Mrs. Firkin, the lady's maid, pushed into ul stairs forthwith, and put into a bed and her mistress's apartment, and bustled about 66 VANITY FAIR. there during the vacancy occasioned by the my dear Miss Briggs. I am a pool little girl departure of the new nurse-and the latter without any friends, or any harkn in me. X and Miss Briggs sat down to the neat little don't want to supplant you in Miss Crawmeal. ley's good graces. She will forget n e a Briggs was so much choked by emotion week after I am gone: and her affection for that she could hardly take a morsel of meat. you has been the work of years. Give me The young person carved a fowl with the a little wine, if you please, my dear Miss utmost delicacy, and asked so distinctly for Briggs, and let us be friends. I'm sure I egg-sauce, that poor Briggs, before whom want friends." that delicious condiment was placed, started, The placable and soft-hearted Briggs made a great clattering with the ladle, and speechlessly pushed out her hand at this once more fellback in the mostgushinghys- appeal; but she felt the desertion most terical state. keenly, for all that, and bitterly, bitterly "Had you not better give Miss Briggs a moaned the fickleness of her Matilda. At glass of wine?" said the person to Mr. the end of half an hour, the meal over, Miss Bowls, the large confidential man. He did Rebecca Sharp (for such, astonishing to so. Briggs seized it mechanically, gasped it state, is the name of her who has been dedown convulsively, moaned a little, and be- scribed ingeniously as the person hitherto) gan to play with the chicken on her plate. went up-stairs again to her patient's rooms, "T think we shall be able to help each from which, with the most engaging politeother," said the person with great suavity: ness, she eliminated poorFirkin. "Thank " and shall have no need of Mr. Bowls's kind you, Mrs. Firkin, that will quite do; how services. Mr. Bowls, if you please, we will nicely you make it! I will ring when any ring when we want you." He went down thing is wanted. Thank you;" and Firstairs, where, by the way, lie vented the kin came down stairs in a tempest of jeal most horrid curses upon the unoffending ousy, only the more dangerous because she footman, his subordinate. was forced to confine it in her own bosom. "It is a pity you take on so, Miss Briggs," Could it be the tempest which, as she the younglady said, with a cool, slightly sar- passed the landing of the first floor, blew castic, air. open the drawing-room door? No; it was "My dearest friend is so ill, and wo-o- stealthily opened by the hand of Briggs. o-on't see me," gurgled out Briggs in an Briggs had been on the watch. Briggs too agony of renewed grief. well heard the creaking Firkin descend the " She's not very ill any more. Console stairs, and the clink of the spoon and gruelyourself, dear Miss Briggs. She has only basin the neglected female carried. overeaten herself-that is all. She is great- "Well, Firkin?" says she, as the other ly better. She will soon be quite restored entered the apartment. " Well, Jane?" again. She is weak from being cupped and "WV uss and wuss, Miss B." Firkin said, from medical treatment, but she will rally wagging her head. immediately. Pray console yourself, and "Is she not better, then?" take a little more wine." " She never spoke but once, and I asked "But why, why won't she see me again?" her if she felt a little more easy, and she Miss Briggs bleated out. " Oh, Matilda, told me to hold my stupid tongue. Oh, Matilda, after three-and-twenty years' ten- Miss B., I never thought to have seen this derness! is this the return to your poor, day!" And the water-works again began poor Arabella?" to play. "Don't cry too much, poor Arabella," the "What sort of a person is this Miss other said (with ever so little of a grin); Sharp, Firkin? I little thought, while en"she only won't see you, because she says joying my Christmas revels in the elegant you don't nurse her as well as I do. It's no home of my firm friends, the Reverend Lipleasure to me to sit up all night. I wish onel Delamere and his amiable lady, to find you might do it instead." a stranger had taken my place in the affec"Have I not tended that dear couch for tions of my dearest, my still dearest Matilyears?" Arabella said, "and now-" - da!" Miss Briggs, it will be seen by her " Now she prefers somebody else. Well, language, was of a literary and sentimental sick people have these fancies, and must be turn, and had once published a volume of humored. When she's well, I shall go." poems —" Trills of the Nightingale" —by sub" Never, never," Arabella exclaimed, mad- scription. ly inhaling her salts-bottle. "Miss B., they are all infatuated about "Neverbe well ornevergo? MissBriggs," that young woman," Firkin replit1 "Sir the other said, with the same provoking good Pitt wouldn't have let her go, but he dare ln't nature. "' Pooh-she will be well in a fort- refuse Miss Crawley anythink. Mrs. tBute night, when I shall go back to my little pu- at the Rectory jist as bad-never happy lout pils at Queen's Crawley, and to their moth- of her sight. The capting quite wild about er, who is a great deal more sick than our her. Mr. Crawley mortial jealous. Since friend. You need not be;ealous about me. Miss C. was took ill. she won't have nobO- V A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. near lier but Miss Sharp, I can't tell for health to the affectionate folks there, there where nor for why; and I think somethink was a lady in another part of the 1 ouse, has bewidged every body." being exceedingly ill, of whom no one took Rebecca passed that night in constant any notice at all; and this was the lady of watching upon Miss Crawley; the next Crawley herself.- The good doctor shook night the old lady slept so comfortably, that his head after seeing her; to which visit Sir Rebecca had time for several hours' cornm- Pitt consented, as it could be paid without a fortabie repose herself on the sofa, at the fee; and she was left fading away in her foot of her patroness's bed; very soon, Miss lonely chamber, with no more heed paid to Crawley was so well that she sat up and her than to a weed in the park. laughed heartily at a perfect imitation of The young ladies, too, lost much of the Miss Briggs and her grief, which Rebecca inestimable benefit of their governess's indescribed to her. Briggs' weeping snuffle, struction. So affectionate a nurse was Miss and her manner of using the handkerchief; Sharp, that Miss Crawley would take her were so completely rendered, that Miss medicines from no other hand. Firkin had Crawley became quite cheerful, to the ad- been deposed long before her mistress's demiration of the doctors when they visited parture from the country. That faithful her, who usually found this worthy woman attendant found a gloomy consolation on reof the world, when the least sickness attack- turning to London, in seeing Miss Briggs ed her, under the most abject depression suffer the same pangs of jealousy and'underand terror of death. go the same faithless treatment to which Captain Crawley came every day, and re- she herself had been subject. ceived bulletins from Miss Rebecca respect- Captain Rawdon got an extension of leave ing his aunt's health. This improved so on his aunt's illness, and remained dutifully rapidly, that poor Briggs was allowed to see at home. He was always in her ante-chamher patroness; and persons with tender hber. (She lay sick in the state bed-rnom, hearts may imagine the smothered emotions into which you entered by the little lo of that sentimental female, and the affecting saloon.) His father was always meeting nature of the interview. him there; or if he came down the corridor Miss Crawley liked to have Briggs in a ever so quietly, his father's door was sure to good deal soon. Rebecca used to mimic her open, and the hyena face of the old gentle to her face with the most admirable grav- man to glare out. What was it set one to ity, thereby rendering the imitation doubly watch the other so? A generous rivalry, piquante to her worthy patroness. no doubt, as to which should be most:attenThe causes which had led to the deplora- tive to the dear sufferer in the state bedble illness of Miss Crawley, and her depart- room. Rebecca used to come out and comnre from her brother's house in the country, fort both of them; or one or the other of were of such an unromantic nature, that them, rather. Both of these worthy gentlethey are hardly fit to be explained in this men were most anxious to have news of the genteel and sentimental novel. For how is invalid from her little confidential messenger. it possible to hint of a delicate female, living At dinner-to which meal she descended in good society, that she ate and drank too for half an hour-she kept the peace bemuch, and that a hot supper of lobsters pro- tween them: after which she disappeared fusely enjoyed at the Rectory was the rea- for the night; when Rawdon would ride son of an indisposition which Miss Crawley over to the dep6t of the 150th at; Mudbury, herself persisted was solely attributable to leaving his papa to the society of Mr. Horthe dampness of the weather? The attack rocks and his rum and water. She passed was so sharp that Matilda-as his Reverence as weary a fortnight as ever mortal spent, in expressed it —was very nearly " off the- Miss Crawley's sick room; but her little hooks;" all the family was in a fever of ex- nerves seemed to be of iron, and she was pectation regarding the will, and Rawdon quite unshaken by the duty and the tedium Crawley was making sure of at least forty of the sick-chamber. thousand pounds before the commencement She never told until long afterward how of the London season. Mr. Crawley sent painful that duty was; how peevisha patient over a choice parcel of tracts, to prepare her was the jovial old lady; how angry; how for the change from Vanity Fair and Park sleepless; in what horrors of death; during Lane for another world; but a good doctor what long nights she lay moaning, and in alfrom Southampton being called in in time, most delirious agonies respecting that future vanquished the lobster which was so nearly world which she quite ignored when she fatal to her, and gave her sufficient strength was in good health. Picture to yourself, oh, to enable her to return to London. The fair young reader, a'worldly, selfish', gracebaronet did not disguise his exceeding morti- less, thankless, religionless oldwoman, writhfication at the turn which affairs took. ing in pain and fear, and without her wig. While every body was attending: on Miss Picture her to yourself, and, ere you be old, Crawley, and messengers every hour firom learn to love and pray! the Rectory were carrying news of her Sharp watched this graceless bedside With 68 VANITY FAIR, indomitable patience. Nothing escaped her;' "You men perceive nothing. You silly, and, like a prudent steward, she found a blind creature-if any thing happens to Lady use for every thing., She told many a good Crawley, Miss Sharp will be your motherstory about Miss Crawley's illness in after in-law; and that's what will happen." days-stories which made the lady blush Rawdon Crawley, Esquire, gave vent to a through her artificial carnations. During the prodigious whistle, in token of astonishment illness she was never out of temper; always at this announcement. He couldn't deny it. alert; she slept light; having a perfectly His father's evident liking for Miss Sharp clear conscience; and could take that re- had not escaped him. He knew the old freshment at almost any minute's warning. gentleman's character well; and a more unAnd so you saw few traces of fatigue in her scrupulous old-whyou-he did not conappearance. Her face might be a trifle clude the sentence, but walked home, curlpaler, and the circles round her eyes a little ing his moustachios, and convinced he had blacker than usual; but whenever she came found a clue to Mrs. Bute's mystery. out from the sick-room she was always smil- "By Jove, it's too bad," thought Rawdon, ing, fresh, and neat, and looked as trim in " too bad, by Jove! I do believe, the womher little dressing-gown and cap, as in her an wants the poor girl to be ruined, in order smartest evening suit. that she shouldn't comie into the family as The captain thought so, and raved about Lady Crawley." her in "uncouth convulsions. The barbed When he saw Rebecca alone, he rallied. shaft of love had penetrated his dull hide. her about his father's attachment, in his Six weeks-appropinquity- opportunity- graceful way. She flung up her head scornhad victimized him completely. He made fully, looked him full in the face, and saida confidante of his aunt at the Rectory, of "Well, suppose he is fond of me. I all persons in the world. She rallied him know he is, and others too. You don't about it; she had perceived his folly; she think I am afraid of him, Captain Crawley? wa _'d him; she finished by owning that You don't suppose I can't defend my own little Sharp was the most clever, droll, odd, honor," said the little woman, looking as good-natured, simple, kindly creature in Eng- stately as a queen. land. Rawdon must not trifle with her affec- "', ah, why-give you fair warningtions, though-dear Miss Crawley would look out, you know-that's all," said the never pardon him for that; for she, too, was moustachio-twiddler. quite overcome by the little governess, and "You hint at something not honorable, loved Sharp like a daughter. Rawdon must then?" said she, flashing out. go away-go back to his regiment and naughty " O-Gad-really-Miss Rebecca," the London, and not play with a poor, artless heavy dragoon interposed. girl's feelings. ] "Do you suppose I have no feeling of Many and many a time, this good-natured self-respect, because I am poor and firiend lady, compassionating the forlorn life-guards- less, and because rich people have none? man's condition, gave him an opportunity of Do you think, because I am a governess, I seeing Miss Sharp at the Rectory, and of have not as much sense, and feeling, and walking home with her, as we have seen. good breeding, as you gentle-folks in I-lampWhen men of a certain sort, ladies, are in shire? I'm a Montmorency. Do you suplove, though they see the hook and the string, pose a Montmorency is not as good as and the whole apparatus with which they Crawley?" are to be taken, they gorge the bait never- When Miss Sharp was agitated, and altheless-they must come to it-they must luded to her maternal relatives, she spoke swallow it-and are presently strluck and with ever so slight a foreign accent, which landed gasping. Rawdon saw there was a gave a great charm to her clear, ringing manifest intention on Mrs. Bute's part to voice. "No," she continued, kindling as captivate him with Rebecca. He was not she spoke to the captain; "I can endure very wise; but he was a man about town, poverty, but not shame-neglect, but not inand had seen several seasons. A light dawn- sult; and insult from-from you." ed upon his dusky soul, as he thought, through Her feelings gave way, and she burst a speech of Mrs. Bute's. into tears. "Mark my words, Rawdon," she said. "Hang it, Miss Sharp-Rebecca-by ",You will have Miss Sharp one day for Jove —upon my soul, I wouldn't for a thouyour relation." sand pounds. Stop, Rebecca!"' "What relation-my cousin, hey, Mrs. She was gone. She drove out with Miss Bute? Francis sweet on her, hey?" in- Crawley that day. It was before the latquired the waggish officer. ter's illness. At dinner she was unusually "More than that," Mrs. Bute said, with brilliant and lively; but she would take no a flash from her black eyes. notice of the hints, or the nods, or the clum" Not Pitt? —He shan't have her. The sy expostulations of the humiliated, infatusneak ain't worthy of her. He's booked to ated guardsman. Skirmishes of this sort Lady Jane Sheepshanks." passed perpetually during the little cam A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 69 paign —tedious to relate, and similar in re- Well, meanwhile, Becky was' the greatest sult. The Crawley heavy cavally was mad- comfort and convenience to her, and she dened by defeat, and routed every day. gave her a couple of new gowns, and an old If the baronet of Queen's Crawley had necklace and shawl, and showed her firiendnot had the fear of losing his sister's legacy ship by abusing all her intimate acquaintances before his eyes, he never would have per- to her new confidante (than which there mitted his dear girls to lose the educational can't be a more touching proof of regard), blessings which their invaluable governess and meditated vaguely some great future was conferring upon them. The old house benefit-to marry her, perhaps, to Clump, the at home seemed a desert without her, so apothecary, or to settle her in some advanuseful and pleasant had Rebecca made her- tageous way of life; or, at any rate, to send self there. Sir Pitt's letters were not cop- her back to Queen's Crawley when she had ied and corrected; his books not made up; done with her, and the full London season his household business and manifold schemes had begun. neglected, now that his little secretary was When Miss Crawley was convalescent away. And it was easy to see how neces- and descended to the drawing-room, Becky sary such an amanuensis was to him, by the sang to her, and otherwise amused her; tenor and spelling of the numerous letters when she was well enough to drive out, which he sent to her, entreating her and Becky accompanied her. And among the commanding her to return. Almost every drives which they took, whither, of all places day brought a frank from the baronet, en- in the world, did Miss Crawley's admirable closing the most urgent prayers to Becky good-nature and friendship actually induce for her return, or conveying pathetic state- her to penetrate, but to Russell-square, lments to Miss Crawley, regarding the neg- Bloomsbury, and the house of John Sedley lected state of his daughters' education; of Esquire. which documents Miss Crawley took very Ere that, event, many notes had passed, little heed. as may be imagined, between the two dear Miss Briggs was not formally dismissed, friends. During the months of Rebecca's but her place as companion was a sinecure stay in Hampshire, the eternal friendship and a derision; and her company was the had (must it be owned?) suffered considerfat spaniel in the drawing-room, or occasion- able diminution, and grown so decrepit and ally the discontented Firkin in the house- feeble with old age as to threaten demise keeper's closet. Nor, though the old lady altogether. The fact is, both girls had their would by no means hear of Rebecca's de- own real affairs to think of: Rebecca her parture, was the latter regularly installed in advance with her employers-Amelia her office in Park Lane. Like many wealthy own absorbing topic. When the two girls people, it was Miss Crawley's habit to ac- met, and flew into each other's arms with cept as much service as she could get from that impetuosity which distinguishes the her inferiors; and good-naturedly to take behavior of young ladies toward each other, leave of them when she no longer found Rebecca performed her part of the embrace them useful. Gratitude among certain rich with the most perfect briskness and energy. folks is scarcely natural, or to be thought of. Poor little Amelia blushed as she kissed They take needy people's services as their her friend, and thought she had been guilty due. Nor have you, O poor parasite, and of something very like coldness toward humble hanger-on, much reason to complain! her. Your friendship for Dives is about as sincere Their first interview was but a very short as the return which it usually gets. It is one. Amelia was just ready to go out for a money you love, and not the man; and were walk. Miss Crawley was waiting in her Crcesus and his footman to change places, carriage below, her people wondering at the you know, you poor rogue, who would have locality in which they found themselves, and the benefit of your allegiance. gazing upon honest Sambo, the black footAnd I am not sure, that, in spite of Re-' man of Bloomsbury, as one of the queer becca's simplicity and activity, and gentle- natives of the place. But when Amelia ness and untiring good humor, the shrewd came down with her kind, smiling looks old London lady, upon whom these treas- (Rebecca must introduce her to her friend, ures of friendship were lavished, had not a Miss Crawley was longing to see her, and lurking suspicion all the while of her affec- was too ill to leave her carriage)-when, I tionate nurse and friend. It must have say, Amelia came down, the Park Lane often crossed Miss Crawley's mind that no- shoulder-knot aristocracy wondered more body does any thing for nothing. If she and more that such a thing could come out measured her own feeling toward the world, of Bloomsbury; and Miss Crawley was fairly she must have been pretty well able to gauge captivated by the sweet blushing face of the those of the world toward herself; and per- young lady who came forward so timidly and haps she reflected, that it is the ordinary lot so gracefully to pay her respects to the of people to have no friends if they them- protector of her friend. selves care for nobody. "What a complexion, my dear. What a 70 VANITY FAIR. sweet voice'" Miss Crawley said, as they sudden thought having struck him-" Gad, 1 drove away westward after the little inter- say, ma'arn, we'll have him here.?' view. "My dear Sharp, your young fiiend "Is he a presentable sort of a person?" is charming. Send for her to Park Lane, the aunt inquired. do you hear?" Miss:Crawley had a good " Presentable? —oh, very well. You taste. She liked natural manners-a little wouldn't see any difference," Captain Craw timidity only set them off. She liked pretty ley answered. " Do let's have him, when faces- near her; as she liked pretty pictures, you begin to see a few people; and his and nice china. She talked of Amelia with whatdyecallem- his inamorato-eh, Miss rapture half-a-dozen times that day. She Sharp; that's what you call it —comes mentioned her to Rawdon Crawley, who Gad, I'll write him a note, and have him came dutifully to partake of his aunt's chicken and I'll try if he can play picquet as well that day. as billiards. Where does he live, Miss Of course, on this Rebecca instantly stated, Sharp?" that Amelia was engaged to be married-to Miss Sharp told Crawley the lieutenant's a Lieutenant Osborne-a very old flame. town address; and a few days after this "Is he a man in a line-regiment?" Cap- conversation, Lieutenant Osborne received tain Crawley asked, remembering after an a letter, in Captain Rawdon's school-boy effort, as became a guardsman, the number hand, and inclosing a note of invitation from of the regiment, the -th. Miss Crawley. -Rebecca thought that was the regiment. Rebecca dispatched also an invitation to "The captain's name," she said, "was Cap- her darling Amelia, who, you may be sure, tain Dobbin." was ready enough to accept it,,when she " A lanky, gawky fellow," said Crawley, heard that George was to be of the party. "tumbles over every body. I know him; It was arranged that Amelia was to spend and Osborne's a goodish-looking fellow, with the morning with the ladies of Park Lane, large black whiskers?" where all were very kind to her. Rebecca "Enormous," Miss Rebecca Sharp said, patronized her with calm superiority: she "and enormously proud of them, I assure was so much the cleverer of the two, and you." her fiiend so gentle and unassuming, that Captain Rawdon Crawley burst into a she always yielded when any body chose to hoarse laugh by way of reply; and being command, and so took Rebecca's orders pressed by the ladies to explain, did sowhen with perfect meekness and good humor. the explosion of hilarity was over.' "He Miss Crawley's graciousness was also refancies he can play at billiards," said he. markable. She continued her raptures "I won two hundred of him at the Cocoa about little Amelia, talked about her before Tree. He play, the young flat! He'd her face as if she were a doll, or a servant, have played for, any thing that day, but his or a picture, and admired her with the most friend Captain Dobbin carried him off, hang benevolent wonder possible. I admire that him!":! admiration which the genteel world some"i Rawdon, Rawdon, don't be so wicked," times extends to the commonalty. There Miss Crawley remarked, highly pleased. is no more agreeable object in life than to "Why, ma'am, of all the young fellows see May Fair folks condescending. Miss.'ve seen out of the line, I think this fellow's Crawley's prodigious benevolence rather fathe greenest. Tarquin and Deuceace get tigued poor little Amelia, and I am not sure what money they like out of him. He'd go that of the three ladies in Park Lane she to the deuce to be seen with a lord. He did not find honest- Miss Briggs the most pays their dinners at Greenwich, and they agreeable. She sympathized with Briggs invite the company." as with all neglected or gentle people: she "And very pretty company too, I dare wasn't what you call a woman of spirit. say." George came to dinner-a repast en gar?"Quite right, Miss Sharp. Right, as con with Captain Crawley. usual, Miss Sharp. Uncommon pretty cornm- The great family coach of the Osbornes pany-haw, haw!" and the captain laughed transported him to Park Lane from Russellmore and more, thinking he had made a square; where the young ladies, who were good joke. not themselves invited, and professed the ".Rawdon, don't be naughty!" his aunt greatest indifference at that slight, nevertheexclaimed. less looked at Sir Pitt Crawley's name in "Well, his father's a city man-immense- the baronetage; and learned every thing ly rich, they say. Hang those city fellows, which that work had to teach about the they must bleed; and I've not done with Crawley family and their pedigree, and the him yet, IT can tell you. Haw, haw!" Binkies, their relatives, &c., &c. Rawdon "Fie, Captain Crawley, I shall warn Ame- Crawley received George Osborne with great lia. A gambling husband!" frankness and graciousness: praised his play "Horrid, ain't he, hey?" the captain said at billiards: asked him when he would have with great solemnity; and then added, a his revenge: was interested about Osborne'& A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 71 regiment: and would have proposed picquet "Why not?" Mr. Osborne said, amazed. to him that very evening, but Miss Crawley " Why, they never condescended to speak absolutely forbade anygambling in her house; to me, or to ask me into their house, while so that the young lieutenant's purse was not I was staying with Amelia; but we poor lightened by his gallant patron, for that day. governesses, you know, are used to slights at least. However, they made an engage-: of this sort." ment for the next, somewhere: to look at a "My dear Miss Sharp!" Osborne ejacuhorse that Crawley had to sell, and to try: lated. him in the park; and to dine together, and "At least in some families," Rebecca to pass the evening with some jolly fellows.' continued. " You can't think what a differ"That is, if you're not on duty to that pretty ence there is, though. We are not so Miss Sedley," Crawley said, with a knowing wealthy in Hampshire as you lucky folks of wink. "Monstrous nice girl,'pon my honor, the city. But then I am in a gentleman's though, Osborne," he was good enough to family-good old English stock. I suppose add. "Lots of tin, I suppose, eh?" you know Sir Pitt's father refused a peerOsborne wasn't on duty; he would join age. And you see how I am treated. I am Crawley with pleasure: and the latter, when pretty comfortable. Indeed, it is rather a they met the next day, praised his new good place. But how very good of you to friend's horsemanship-as he might with inquire!" perfect honesty-and introduced him to Osborne was quite savage. The little three or four young men of the first fashion, governess patronized him and persiffled him whose acquaintance immensely elated the until this young British Lion felt quite unsimple young officer. easy; nor could he muster sufficient pres"How's little Miss Sharp, by-the-by," ence of mind to -find a pretext for backing Osborne inquired of his friend over their out of this most delectable conversation. wine, with a dandified air. " Good-natured "I thought you liked the city families little girl that. Does she suit you well at pretty well," he said, haughtily. Queen's Crawley? Miss Sedley liked her 1" Last year, you mean, when I was fresh a good deal last year." from that horrid, vulgar school? Of course Captain Crawley looked savagely at the I did. Doesn't every girl like to come home lieutenant out of his little blue eyes, and for the holidays? And how was I to know watched him when he went up to resume any better? But oh, Mr. Osborne, what his acquaintance with the fair governess. a difference eighteen months' experience Her conduct must have relieved Crawley, if makes!-eighteen months spent, pardon me there was any jealousy in the bosom of that for saying so, with gentlemen. As for dear life-guardsman. Amelia, she, I grant you, is a pearl, and When the young men went up-stairs, and would be charming any where. There after Osborne's introduction to Miss Craw- now, I see you are beginning to be in a good ley, he walked up to Rebecca with a patron- humor; but oh, these queer, odd city peoizing, easy swagger. He was going to be pie! And Mr. Jos-how is that wonderful kind to her and protect her. He would Mr. Joseph?" even shake hands with her, as a friend of "It seems to me you didn't dislike that Amelia's; and saying, "Ah, Miss Sharp! wonderful Mr. Joseph last year," Osborne how-dy-doo?" held out his left hand toward said kindly. her, expecting that she would be quite con- "How severe of you! Well, entre nous, founded at the honor. I didn't break nay heart about him; yet if Miss Sharp put out her right fore-finger, he had qsked me to do What you mean by and gave him a little nod, so cool and killing, your looks (and very expressive and kind that Rawdon Crawley, watching the opera- they are, too), I wouldn't have said no." tions from the other room, could hardly Mr. Osborne gave a look as much as to restrain his laughter as he saw the lieuten- say, " Indeed, how very obliging!" ant's entire discomfiture; the start he gave, "What an honor to have had you for a the pause, and the perfect clumsiness with brother-in-law, you are thinking? To be siswhich he at length condescended to take the ter-in-law to George Osborne, Esquire, son of finger which was offered for his embrace. John Osborne, Esquire, son of-what was " She'd beat the devil, by Jove!" the cap- your grandpapa, Mr. Osborne? Well, don't tain said, in a rapture; and the lieutenant, be angry. You can't help your pedigree, by way of beginning the conversation, agree- and I quite agree with you that I would have ably asked Rebecca how she liked her new married Mr. Joe Sedley; for could a poor place. penniless girl do better? Now you know "My place?" said Miss Sharp, coolly, the whole secret. I'm frank and open; "how kind of you to remind me of it! It's and, considering al: things, it was very kind a tolerably good place: the wages are pretty of you to allude to the circumstance-very good-not so good as Miss Wirt's, I believe, kind and polite. Amelia dear, Mr. Osborne withyoursisters inRiussell-square. How are and I were talking about your poor brother those youngladies? not that I ought to ask." Joseph. How is he?" 72 VANITY FAIR. Thus was George utterly routed. Not which usually ornament that dismal quarter that Rebecca was in the right; but she had It was over Sir Pitt Crawley's house; but it managed most successfully to put him in the did not indicate the worthy baronet's demise. wrong. And he now shamefully fled, feel- It was a feminine hatchment, and indeed a ing if he stayed another minute, that he few years back had served as a funeral comrn would have been made to look foolish in the pliment to Sir Pitt's old mother, the late presence of Amelia. dowager Lady Crawley. Its period of serThough Rebecca had had the better of vice over, the hatchment had come down him, George was above the meanness of from the front of the house, and lived in retale-bearing or revenge upon a lady-only tirement somewhere in the back premises he could not help cleverly confiding to Cap- of Sir Pitt's mansion. It re-appeared now tain Crawley, next day, some notions of his for poor Rose Dawson. Sir Pitt was f widregarding Miss Rebecca-that she was a ower again. The arms quartered uri the sharp one, a dangerous one, a desperate flirt, shield along with his own were not, to be &c.; in all of which opinions Crawley agreed sure, poor Rose's. She had no arms. Bui laughingly, and with every one of which Miss the cherubs painted on the scutcheon anRebecca was made acquainted before twen- swered as well for her as for Sir Pitt's ty-four hours were over. They added to mother, and Resurgam was written under her original regard for Mr. Osborne. Her the coat, flanked by the Crawley Dove and woman's instinct had told her, that it was Serpent. Arms and Hatchments, ResurGeorge who had interrupted the success of gam. Here is an opportunity for moralizher first love-passage, and she esteemed him ing! accordingly. Mr. Cmrewley had tended that otherwise "I only just warn you," he said to Raw- friendless bedside. She went out of the don Crawley, with a knowing look-he had world strengthened by such words and combought the horse, and lost some score of fort as he could give her. For many years guineas after dinner, "I just warn you-I this was the only kindness she ever knew; know women, and counsel you to be on the the only friendship that solaced in any way look-out"' that feeble, lonely soul. Her heart was "Thl'nk you, my boy," said Crawley, dead long before her body. She had sold it with a look of peculiar gratitude. " You're to become Sir Pitt Crawley's wife. Mothwide awake, I see." And George went off, ers and daughters are making the same barthinking Crawley was quite right. gain every day in Vanity Fair. He told Amelia of what he had done, and When the demise took place, her husband how he had counseled Rawdon Crawley-a was in London attending to some of his indevilish good, straightforward fellow-to be numerable schemes, and busy with his endon his guiardiagainst that little sly, scheming less lawyers. He had found time, nevertheRebecca.. less, to call often in Park Lane, and to dis"Against whom?" Amelia cried. patch many notes to Rebecca, entreating "Your friend the governess. Don't look her, enjoining heri, commanding her, to reso astonished." turn to her young pupils in the country, who "- O George, what have you done?" Ame- were now utterly without companionship lia said. For her woman's eyes, which love during their mother's illness. But Miss had made sharp-sighted, had in one instant Crawley would not hear of her departure; discovered a secret which was invisible to for though there was no lady of fashion in Miss Crawley, to poor virgin Briggs, and, London who would desert her friends more above all, to the stupid peepers of that young complacently as soon as she was tired of whiskered prig, Lieutenant Osborne. their society, and though few tired of them For as Rebecca was shawling her in an sooner, yet as long as her engolment lasted upper apartment, where these two friends her attachment was prodigious, and she had an opportunity for a little of that secret clung still with the greatest energy to Retalking and conspiring which forms the de- *becca. light of female life, Amelia, coming up to The news of Lady Crawley's death proRebecca, and taking her two little hands in voked no more grief or comment than might hers, said, "Rebecca, I see it all." have been expected in Miss Crawley's famRebecca kissed her. ily circle. "I suppose I must put off my And regarding this delightful secret, not party for the 3d," Miss Crawley said; and one syllable more was said by either of the added, after a pause, " I hope my brother young women. But it was destined to come will'have the decency not to marry again." out before long. " What a confounded rage Pitt will be in-if he does," Rawdon remarked, with his usual Some short period after the above events, regard for his elder brother. Rebecca said and Miss Rebecca Sharp still remaining at nothing, She seemed by far the gravest her patroness's house in Park Lane, one and most impressed of the family. She nmore hatchment might have been seen in left the room before Rawdon went away Gr(ae'Gaunt-street, figuring among the many that day; but they met by chance below, A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 73 as he was going away after taking leave, and way. I'll make you a zettlement. I'll do had a parley together. every thing, reglar. Look year!" and the On the morrow, as Rebecca was gazing old man fell down on his knees and leered from the window, she startled Miss Crawley, at her like a satyr. who was placidly occupied with a French Rebecca started back a picture of consternovel, by crying out in an alarmed tone, nation. In the course of this history we 1" Here's Sir Pitt, ma'am!" and the baron- have never seen her lose her presence of et's knock followed this announcement. mind; but she did now, and wept some of "' My dear, I can't see him. I won't see the most genuine tears that ever fell from him. Tell Bowls not at home, or go down her eyes. stairs and say I'm too ill to receive any one. "Oh, Sir Pitt!" she said. " Oh, sirMy nerves really won't bear my brother at I-l'mn married already." this moment;" cried out Miss Crawley, and resumed the novel. "She's too ill to see you, sir," Rebecca said, tripping down to Sir Pitt, who was CHAPTER XV. preparing to ascend. "So much the better," Sir Pitt answered. WHICH REBECCA'S HUSBAND APPEARS "I want to see you, Miss Becky. Come FOR A SHORT TIME. along a me into the parlor," and they enter- EVERY reader of a sentimental turn (and ed that apartment together. we desire no other) must have been pleased "I wawnt you back dt Queen's Crawley, with the tableau with which the last act of Miss," the baronet said, fixing his eyes upon our little drama concluded; for what can be her, and taking off his black gloves and his prettier than an image of Love on his knees hat with its great crape hat-band. His eyes before Beauty? had such a strange look, and fixed upon her But when Love heard that awful confesso steadfastly, that Rebecca Sharp began al- sion from Beauty that she was married almost to tremble. ready, he bounced up from his attitude of " I hope to come soon," she said in a low humility on the carpet, uttering exclamavoice, " as soon as Miss Crawley is better- tions which caused poor little Beauty to be and return to-to the dear children." more frightened than she was when she " You've said so these three months, made her avowal. "Married! you're jokBecky," replied Sir Pitt, " and still you go ing," the baronet cried, after the explosion hanging on to my sister, who'll fling you off of rage and wonder.. " You're making vun like an old shoe, when she's wore you out. of me, Becky. Who'd ever go to marry you I tell you I want you. I'm going back to without a shilling to your vortune?" the Vuneral. Will you come back? Yes "Married!,married!" Rebecca said, in an or no," agony of tears-her voice choking with emo"I daren't-I don't think-it would be tion, her handkerchief up to her ready eyes, right-to be alone-with you, sir," Becky fainting against the mantel-piece-a figure said, seemingly in great agitation. of woe fit to melt the most obdurate heart. "I say agin, I want you," Sir Pitt said, " O Sir Pitt, dear Sir Pitt, do not think me thumping the table. " I can't git on with- ungrateful for all your goodness to me. It. out you. I didn't see what it was till you is only your generosity that has extorted went away. The house all goes wrong. my secret." It's not the same place. All my accounts " Generosity be hanged!" Sir Pit roared has got muddled agin. You must come out. "' Who is it tu, then, you're married? back. Do come back. Dear Becky, do Where was it?" come." "Let me come back with you to the " Come-as what, sir?" Rebecca gasped country, sir! Let me watch over you as out. faithfully as ever! Don't, don't separate "Come as Lady Crawley, if you like," me fiom dear Queen's Crawley!" the baronet said, grasping his crape hat. "The feller has left you, has he!" the "There! will that zatusfy you? Come baronet said, beginning, as he fancied, to back and be my wife. Your vit vort. Birth comprehend. "Well, Becky —come back, be hanged. You're as good a lady as ever if you like. You can't eat your cake and I see. You've got more brains in your little have it. Any ways, I made you a vair offer. vinger than any baronet's wife in the coun- Cooml back as governess —you shall have it ty. Will you come? Yes or no?" all your own way." She held out one hand. "Oh, Sir Pitt!" Rebecca said, very much She cried fit to break her heart; her ring. moved. lets fell over her face, and over the marble "' Say yes, Becky," Sir Pitt continued. mantel-piece where she laid it. " I'm an old man, but a good'n. I'm good "So the rascal ran off, eh?" Sir Pitt said, for twenty years. I'll make you happy, zee with a hideous attempt at consolation. if I don't. You shall do what you like; "Never mind, Becky, I'll take care of'ee,' spend what you like; and'av it all your own' O sir! it would be the pride of my life 74 VANITY FAIR. to go back to Queen's Crawley, and take coolness and good-humor which set Miss care of the children, and of you as formerly, Crawley almost mad with bewilderment. when you said you were pleased with the That an old gentleman of station should fall services of your little Rebecca. WAhen I on his knees to a penniless governess, and think of what you have just offered me, my bulrst out laughing because she refused to heart fills with gratitude-indeed it does. I marlry him-that a penniless governess can't be your wife, sir; let me-let me be should refuse a baronet with four thousand your daughter!" a year-these were mysteries which Miss Saying which, Rebecca went down on Crawley could never comprehend. It surher knees in a most tragical way, and, taking passed any complications of intrigue in her Sir Pitt's horny, black hand between her favorite Pigault le Bruln. own two (which were vefry pretty and white, "I'm glad you think it good sport, brothand as soft as satin), looked up in his face er," she continued, groping wildly through with an expression of exquisite pathos and this amazement. confide-nce, when-wvhen the door opened, "Vamous," said Sir Pitt. " Who'd ha' and Miss Crawley sailed in. thought it! what a sly little devil! what a Mrs. Firkin and Miss Briggs, who hap- little fox it waws!" he muttered to himself, pened by chance to be at the parlolr-door chuckling with pleasure. soon after the baronet and. Rebecca entered "Who'd have thought what?" clries Miss the apartment, had also seen, accidentally, Crawley, stamping with her foot. " Pray, through the key-hole, the old gentleman Miss Sharp, are you waiting for the Prince prostrate before the governess, and had Regent's divorce, that you don't think our healrd the generous plroposal which he family good enough for you?" made her. It was scarcely out of his mouth, " My attitude," Rebecca said, " when you when Mrs. Firkin and Miss Briggs had came in, ma'arn, did not look as if I despised streamed up the stairs, had rushed into the such an honor as this good-this noble man drawing-room where Miss Crawley was has deigned to offer me. Do you think I reading the French novel, and had given tkat haveno heart? Have you all loved me, and old lady the astounding intelligence that Sir been so kind to the poor orphan-deserted Pitt was on his knees, proposing to Miss -girl, and am I to feel nothing? ) my Sharp. And if you calculate the time for friends! O my benefactors! may not my the above dialogue to take place-the time love, my life, my duty, try to repay the confor Briggs and Firkin to fly to the drawing- fidence you have shown me? Do you room-the time for Miss Crawley to be as- grudge me even gratitude, Miss Crawley? tonished, and to drop her volume of Pigault It is too much-my heart is too full;" and le Brun-and the time for her to come down she sank down in a chair so pathetically, that stairs-you will see how exactly accurate most of the audience present were perfectly this history is, and how Miss Crawley must melted with her sadness. have appeared at the velry instant when Re- " Whether you marry me or not, you're becca had assumed the attitude of humility. a good little girl, Becky, and I'm your vriend, " It is the lady on the ground, and not the mind," said Sir Pitt, and putting on his gentleman," MIss Crawley said, with a look crape-bound hat, he walked away-glreatlyto and voice of great scorn. " They told me Rebecca's relief; for it was evident that her that you were on your knees, Sir Pitt: do secret was unrevealed to Miss Crawley, and kneel once molre, and let me see this pretty she had the advantage of a brief reprieve. couple!" Putting her handkerchief to her eyes, " I have thanked Sir Pitt Crawley, and nodding away honest Briggs, who would ma'arn," Rebecca said, rising, and have told have followed her up-stairs, she went up to him that-that I never can become Lady her apartment; while Briggs and Miss CrawCrawley." -ley, in a high state of excitement, remained " Refused him!" Miss Crawley said, more to discuss the strange event, and Firkin, not bewildered than ever. Briggs and Firkin at less moved, dived down into the kitchen rethe door opened the eyes of astonishment gions, and talked of it with all the male and and the lips of wonder. female company there. And so impressed'"Yes-refused," Rebecca continued, with was Mrs. Firkin with the news, that she a sad, tearful voice. thought proper to write off by that very " And am I to credit my ears that you ab- night's post, with her humble duty to Mrs. solutely proposed to her, Sir Pitt?" the old Bute Crawley and the family at the Rectolady asked. ry, and Sir Pitt has been and proposed for; Ees," said the baronet, " I did." to marry Miss Sharp, wherein she has re-, And she refused you as she says?" fused him, to the wonder of all." "Ees," Sir Pitt said, his features on a The two ladies in the dining-roomn (where broad grin. worthy Miss Briggs was delighted to be ad"It does not seem to blreak your heart, at mitted once more to a confidential conversaany rate," Miss Crawley remarked. tion with her patroness) wondered to their "Nawt a bit," answered Sir Pitt, with a hearts' content at Sir Pitt's offer, and Re A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 7 becca's refusal; Briggs very acutely sug- who was the gentleman that had the mas gesting that there must have been some ob- tery of Miss Sharp's heart. stacle in the shape of a previous attachment, Rebecca was very kind, very.affectionate otherwise no young woman in her senses and affected-responded to Briggs' offers would ever have refused so advantageous of tenderness with grateful fervor —owned a proposal. there Was a secret attachment —a delicious 1" You would have accepted it youself, mystery-what a pity Miss Briggs had not wouldn't you, Briggs?" Miss Crawley said, remained half a minute longer at the keykindly. hole! Rebecca might, perhaps, have told " Would it not be a privilege to be Miss more: but five minutes after Mliss Briggs' Crawley's sister?" Briggs replied, with arrival in Rebecca's apartment, Miss Crawmeek evasion. ley actually made her appearance there-an "Well, Becky would have made a goodunheard of honor; her impatience had overLady Crawley, after all," Miss Crawley re- come her; she could not wait for the tardy marked (who was mollified by the girl's re- operations of her embassadress: so she fusal, and very liberal and generous, now came in person, and ordered Briggs out of there was no call for her sacrifices). " She the room. And expressing her approval of has brains in plenty (much more wit in her Rebecca's conduct, she asked particulars of little finger than you have, my poor, dear the interview and the previous transactions Briggs, in all your head). Her manners which had brought about the astonishing are excellent, now I have formed her. She offer of Sir Pitt. is a Montmorency, Briggs, and blood is' Rebecca said she had long had some no-something, though I despise it for my part; tion of the partiality with which Sir Pitt and she would have held her own among honored her (for he was in the habit of those pompous, stupid Hampshire people, making his feelings known in a very frank much better than that unfortunate ironmon- and unreserved manner) but, not to mention ger's daughter." private reasons with which she would not Briggs coincided, as usual, and the " pre- for the present trouble Miss Crawley, Sir vious attachment" was then discussed in Pitt's age, station, and habits were such as conjectures. "You poor friendless crea- to render a marriage quite impossible; and tures are always having some foolish tendre," could a woman with any feelings of self-reMiss Crawley said. "You yourself, you spect and any decency listen to proposals at know, were in love with a writing-master such a moment, when the funeral of the (don't cry, Briggs-you're always crying, lover's deceased wife had not actually taken and it won't bring him to life again), and I place? suppose this unfortunate Becky has been "Nonsense, my dear, you would never silly and sentimental too —some apothecary, have refused him had there not been some or house-steward, or painter, or young cu- one else in the case," Miss Crawley said, rate, or something of that sort." coming to her point at once. "Tell me the "'Poor thing, poor thing!" says Briggs private reasons; what are the private rea(who was thinking of twenty-four years sons? There is some one; who is it that back, and that hectic young writing-master has touched your heart?" whose lock of yellow hair, and whose letters, Rebecca cast down her eyes, and owned beautiful in their illegibility, she cherished there was. "You have guessed right, dear in her old desk up-stairs). " Poor thing,, lady," she said, with a sweet, simple, falterpoor thing!" says Briggs. Once more she' ing voice. "You wonder at one so poor was a fresh-cheeked lass of eighteen; she and fiiendless having an attachment, don't was at evening church, and the hectic writ- you? I have never heard that poverty was ing-master and she were quavering out of: any safeguard against it. I wish it were." the same psalm-book. 1 "My poor, dear child," cried Miss Craw"After such conduct on Rebecca's part," ley, who was always quite ready to be sentiMiss Crawley said enthusiastically, "our mental, " Is our passion unrequited, then?" family should do something. Find out who Are we pining in secret? Tell me all, and is the objet, Briggs. I'll set him up in a let me console you." shop; or order my portrait of him, you "I wish you could, dear madam," Rebecknow; or speak to my cousin the bishop- ca said in the same tearful tone. " Indeed, and I'll doter Becky, and we'll have a wed- indeed I -need it." And she laid her head ding, Briggs, and you shall rlake the break- upon Miss Crawley's shoulder and wept fast, and be a bride's-maid." there so naturally that the old lady, surBr:iggs declared that it would be delightful, prised into sympathy, embraced her with an nard vowed that her dear Miss Crawley was almost maternal kindness, uttered many always kind and generous, and went up to soothing protests of regard and affection for IRebecca's bed-room to console her and prat- her, vowed that she loved her as a daughter, tle about the offer, and the refusal, and the and would do every thing in her power to cause thereof; and to hint at the generous serve her. "And now who is it, my dear? rintentions of Miss Crawley, and to find out Is it that pretty Miss Sedley's brother] 76 VANITY FAIR. You said something about an affair with "You know," she said, " Mrs. Briefiess is him. I'll ask him here, nmy dear. And granddaughter of Sir John Redhand, who is you shall have him: indeed you shall." so ill at Cheltenham that he can't last six "Don't ask me now," Rebecca said. months. Mrs. Briefless's papa, succeeds; "'You shall know all soon. Indeed you so you see she will be a baronet's daughter." shall. Dear, kind Miss Crawley —dear And Toady'asked Briefless and his wife to friend, may I say so?" dinner the very next week. " That you may, my child," the o'd lady If the mere chance of becoming a baronet's replied, kissing her. daughter can procure a lady such homage -' I can't tell you now," sobbed out Re- in the world, surely we may respect the agbecca, "I am very miserable. WBt O! love onies of a young woman who has lost the me always-promise you will rove me al- opportunity of becoming a baronet's wife. ways." And in the midst of mutual tears- " Who would have dreamed of Lady Crawfor the emotions of the younger woman had ley dying so soon? She was one of those awakened the sympathies of the elder-this sickly women that might have lasted these promise was solemnly given by Miss Craw- ten years"-Rebecca thought to herself, in ley, who left her little protegee, blessing all the woes of repentance-" and I might and admiring her as a dear, artless, tender- have been my lady! I might have led that hearted, affectionate, incomprehensible crea- old man whither I would. I might have ture. thanked Mrs. Bute for her patronage, and And now she was left alone to think over Mr. Pitt for his insufferable condescension. the sudden and wonderful events of the day, I would have had the town-house newly and of what had been and what might have furnished and decorated. I would have had been.'What think you were the private the handsomest carriage in London, and a feelings of Miss, no (begging her pardon), box at the Opera; and I would have been of Mrs. Rebecca? If, a few pages back, presented next season. All this might have the present writer claimed the privilege of been; but now-now is all doubt and mnys-. peeping into Miss Amelia Sedley's bed- tery." room, and understanding with the omnis- But Rebecca was a young lady of too cience of the novelist all the gentle pains and much resolution and energy of character to passions which were tossing upon that inno- permit herself much useless and unseemly cent pillow, why should he not declare him- sorrow for the irrevocable past; so, having self to be Rebecca's confidante too, master of devoted only the proper portion of regret her secrets, and seal-keeper of that young to it, she wisely turned her whole attention woman's conscience? toward the future, which was now vastly Well then, in the first place, Rebecca more important to her. And she surveyed gave way to some very sincere and touch- her position, and its hopes, doubts, and ing regrets that a piece of marvelous good chances. fortune should have been so near her, and In the first place, she was married; that she actually obliged to -decline it. In this was a great fact. Sir Pitt knew it. She natural emotion every properly regulated was not so much surprised into the avowal, mind will certainly share. What good as induced to make it by a sudden calculamother is there that would not colmmliserate tion. It must have come some day; and a penniless spinster, who might have been why not now as at a later period? He who my lady, and have shared four thousand would have married her himself must at a year? What well-bred young person is least be silent with regard to her marriage. there in all Vanity Fair, who will not feel for But how Miss Crawley would bear the a hard-working, ingenious, meritorious girl, news-was the great question. Misgivings who gets such an honorable, advantageous, Rebecca had; but she remembered all Miss provoking offer, just at the very moment Crawley had said; the old lady's avowed when it is out of her power to accept it? I contempt for birth; her daring liberal opinam sure our friend Becky's disappointment ions; her general romantic propensities; her deserves and will command every sympathy. almost doting attachment to her nephew, and 1 remember one night being in the Fair herrepeatedly-expressedfondnessforRebecmyself, at an evening party. I observed old ca herself. "She is sofond of him," Rebecca Miss Toady there also present, single out for thought, that she will forgive him any thing: her special attentions and flattery little Mrs. she is so used to me that I don't think she Briefless, the barrister's wife, who is of a could be comfortable without me: when the good family certainly, but, as we all know, eclaircissement comes there will be a acene, is as poor as poor can be. and hysterics, and a great quarrel, and'Lhen What, I asked in my own mind, can cause a great reconciliation." At all events, what this obsequiousness on the part of Miss use was there in delaying? the die wami Toady; has Briefless got a county:ourt, thrown, and now or to-morrow the issue, or has his wife had a fortune left her? Miss must be the same. And so, resolved that Toady explained presently, with that sim- Miss Crawley should have the news, th.e plieity which distinguishes all her conluct. young person debated in her mind as to tile A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 77 best means of conveying it to her; and is to hinder a captain who is a major, and a whether she should face the storm that must young lady who is of age, from purchasing come, or fly and avoid it until its first fury a license, and uniting themselves at any was blown over.. In this state of meditation church in this town? Who needs to be she wrote the following letter:- told, that if a woman has a will, she will assuredly find a way? My belief is, that " hDEARgEST FRIENiD, one day, when Miss Sharp had gone to pass "The great crisis which we have de- the forenoon with her dear fiiend Miss bated'about so often is come. Half of my Amelia Sedley, in Russell-square, a lady secret is known, and I have thought and very like her might have been seen entelthought, until I am quite sure that now is ing a church in the city, in company with a the time to reveal the whole of the mystery. gentleman with dyed mustaches, who, after Sir Pitt came to me this morning, and made a qualter of an hour's interval, escorted her -what do you think? a declaration inform. back to the hackney-coach in waiting, and Think of that! Poor little me. I might that this was a quiet bridal party. have been Lady Crawley. How pleased And who on earth, after the daily expeMrs. Bute would have been; and ma tante rience we have, can question the probability if I had taken precedence of her! I might of a gentleman marrying any body? How have been somebody's mamma, instead of- many of the wise and learned have married 0, I tremble, I tremble, when I think how their cooks? Did not Lord Eldon himself, soon we must tell all! the most prudent of men, make a run-away " Sir Pitt knows I am married, and not match? Were not Achilles and Ajax both knowing to whom, is not very much dis- in love with their servant maids? And are pleased as yet. Ma tante is actually angry we to expect a heavy dragoon -with strong that I should have refused him. But she is desires and small brains, who had never conall kindness and graciousness. She con- trolled a passion in his life, to become prudescends to say I would have made him a dent all of a sudden, and to refuse to pay good wife; and vows that she will be a mother any price for an indulgence to which he had to youw little Rebecca. She will be shaken a mind? If people only made prudent marwhen she first hears the news. But need riages, what a stop to population there would we fear any thing beyond a momentary be! anger? I think not: 1 am sure not. She It seems to me, for my part, that 5Mr. dotes upon you so (you naughty, good-for- Rawdon's marriage was one of the honestest nothing man), that she would pardon you actions which we shall have to record in any any thing: and, indeed, I believe, the next portion of that gentleman's biography which place in her heart is mine: and that she. has to do with the present history. No one would be miserable without me. Dearest! will say it is unmanly to be captivated by a something tells me we shall conquer. You woman, or, being captivated, to marry her; shall leave that odious regiment: quit and the admiration, the delight, the passion, gaming, racing, and be a good boy; and we the wonder, the unbounded confidence, and shall all live in Park-lane: and ma tante fi'antic adoration with which, by degrees, shall leave us all her money. this big warrior got to regard the little Re"' I shall try and walk to-morrow at 3 in becca, were feelings which the ladies at least the usual place. If Miss B. accompanies will pronounce were not altogether discredme, you must come to dinner, and bring an itable to him. WThen she sang, every note answer, and put it in the third volume of thrilled in his dull soul, and tingled through Porteus's Sermons. But, at all events, his huge frame. W~hen she spoke, he come to your own, R. brought all the force of his brains to listen "To Miss Eliza Styles, and wonder. If she was jocular, he used to At Mr. Barnet's, Saddler, Knightbridge." evolve her joes in his mind, and explode, ~, lrevolve her jokes in his mind, and explode And I trust there is no reader of this little over them half an hour afterward in the story who has not discernment enough to street, to the surprise of the groom in the perceive that Miss Eliza Styles (an old tilbury by his side, or the comrade riding schoolfellow, Rebecca said, with whom she with him in Rotten Row. Her words were had resumed an active correspondence of oracles to him, her smallest actions marked late) and who used to fetch these letters by an infallible grace and wisdom. " How from the saddler's, wore brass spurs, and she sings-how she paints," thought he. large curling mustaches, and was indeed no " How she rode that kicking inare at fther than Captain Rawdon Crawley. Queen's Crawley!" And he would say to her in confidential moments, "By Jove, Beck, you're fit to be commander-in-chief, CHAPTER XVI. or Archbishop of Canterbury, by Jove." Is his case a rare one? and don't we see every day in the world many an honest Hercules How they were married is not of the at the apron-strings of Omphale, and great slightest consequence to any body. WVhat wv'iskered Samsons prostrate in Dalilah's lap X 78 VANITY FAIR. When, then, Becky told him that the officiating clergy any way affected, yet it is great crisis was near, and the time for ac- not at all uncommon to see women who are Lion had arrived, Rawdon expressed himself not in the least concerned in the operations: as ready to act under her orders, as he going on-old ladies who are long past marwould be to charge with his troop at the rying, stout middle-aged females with plenty command of his colonel. There was no of sons and daughters, let alone pretty young need for him to put his letter into the third creatures in pink bonnets, who are on their volume of Porteus. Rebecca easily found a promotion, and may naturally take an intermeans to get rid of Briggs, her companion, est in the ceremony-I say it is quite common and met her faithful friend in "the usual to see the women present piping, sobbing, place" on the next day. She had thought sniffling, hiding their little faces in their little over matters at night, and communicated to useless pocket-handkerchiefs, and heaving, Rawdon the result of her determinations. old and young, with emotion. When my He agreed, of course, to every thing; was friend, the fashionable John Pimlico, married quite sure that it was all right; that what the lovely Lady Belgravia Green Parker, the she proposed was best; that Miss Crawley emotion was so general, that even the little would infallibly relent, or "come round," as snuffy old pew-opener who let me into the he said, after a time. Had Rebecca's reso- seat, was in tears. And wherefore? I inlutions been entirely different, he would quired of my own soul: she was not going to have followed them as implicitly. "You be married. have head enough for both of us, Beck," Miss Crawley and Briggs, in a word, after said he. "You're sure to get us out of the the affair of Sir Pitt, indulged in the utmost scrape. I never saw your equal, and I've luxury of sentiment, and Rebecca became met with some clippers in my time too." an object of the most tender interest to them. And with this simple confession of faith, the In her absence Miss Crawley solaced herlove-stricken dragoon left her to execute his self with the most sentimental of the novels part of the project which she had formed for in her library. Little Sharp, with her secret the pair. griefs, Wvas the heroine of the day. It consisted simply in the hiring of quiet That night Rebecca sang more sweetly lodgings at Brompton, or in the neighborhood and talked more pleasantly than she had of the barracks, for Captain and Mrs. Ciaw- ever been heard to do in Park Lane. She ley. For Rebeccahad determined, andvery twined herself round the heart of Miss prudently, we think, to fly. Rawdon was Crawley. She spoke lightly and laughingly only too happy at her resolve; he had been of Sir Pitt's proposal, ridiculed it as the entreating her to take this measure any foolish fancy of an old man; and her eyes tlme for weeks past. He pranced off to filled with tears, and Briggs's heart with un engage the lodgings with all the impetuosity utterable pangs of defeat, as she said she of love. He agreed to pay two guineas a desired no other lot than to remain forever week so readily, that the landlady regretted with her dear benefactress. "My dear litshe had asked him so little. He ordered in tie creature," the old lady said, "I don't a piano, and half a nursery house full of intend to let you stir for years, that you flowers, and a heap of good things. As for may depend upon. As for going back to that shawls, kid gloves, silk stockings, gold French odious brother of mine after what has passed, watches, bracelets and perfumery, he sent it is out of the question. Hele you stay with them in with the profusion of blind love and me and Briggs. Briggs wants'o- go to see unbounded credit. And having relieved'his her relations very often. Briggs, you may mind by this outpouring of generosity, he go when you like. But as for you, my dear, went and dined nervously at the club, wait- you must stay and take care of the old ing until the great moment of his life should woman." come. If Rawdon Crawley had been then and there present, instead of being at the club The occurrences of the previous day; the' nervously drinking claret, the paii might admirable conduct of Rebecca in refusing an have gone down on their knees before the offer so advantageous to her, the secret un- old spinster, avowed all, and been forgiven happiness preying upon her, the sweetness in a twinkling. But that good chance was and silence with which she'bore her afflic- denied to the young couple, doubtless in tion, made Miss Crawleymuch more tender order that this story might be written, in than usual. An event of this nature, a mar- which numbers of their wonderful advenriage, or a refusal, or a proposal, thrills tures are narrated-adventures which could through a whole houseful of women, and never have occurred to them if they had sets all their hysterical sympathies at work. been housed and sheltered under the comAs an observer of human nature, I regularly fortable uninteresting forgiveness of Miss frequent St. George's, Hanover-square, dur- Crawley. ing the genteel marriage season; and though 1 have never seen the bridegroom's male Under Mrs. Firkin's orders, in the Park friends give way to tears, or the beadles and Lane establishment, was a young woman A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 7 from Hampshire, whose business it was, Claims even superior to those of my beneamong other duties, to knock at Miss Sharp's factress call me hence. I go to my duty — door with that jug of hot water, which Firkin to my husband. Yes, I am married. My would rather have perished than have pre- husband commands me to seek the humble sented to the intruder. This girl, bred on home which we call ours. Dearest Miss the family estate, had a brother in Captain Briggs, break the news as your delicate Crawley's troop, and if the truth were sympathy will know how to do it-to my known, I dare say it would come out that dear, my beloved friend and benefactress. she was aware of certain arrangements, Tell her, ere I went, I shed tears on her which have a great deal to do with this his- dear pillow —that pillow that I have so often tory. At any rate, she purchased a yellow soothed in sickness-that I long again to shawl, a pair of green boots, and a light blue watch-Oh, with what joy shall I return to hat with a red feather, with three guineas dear Park Lane! How I tremble for the which Rebecca gave her, and as little Sharp answer which is to seal my fate! When was by no means too liberal with her money, Sir Pitt deigned to offer me his hand, an no doubt it was for services rendered that honor of which my beloved Miss Crawley Betty Martin was so bribed. said I was deserving (my blessings go with On the second day aftel Sir Pitt Craw- her for judging the poor orphan worthy to ley's offer to Miss Sharp, the. sun rose as be her sister!), I told Sir Pitt that I was usual, and at the usual hour Betty Martin, already a wife. Even he forgave me. But the up-stairs maid, knocked at the; door of my courage failed me, when I should have the governess's bed-chamber. told him all-that I could not be his wife, for No answer was returned, and she knocked I was his daughter! I am wedded to the again. Silence was still uninterrupted; and best and most generous of men-Miss CrawBetty, with the hot water, opened the door ]ley's Rawdon is my Rawdon. At his comr and entered the chamber. mandc I open my lips, and follow him to our The little white dimity bed was as smooth humble home, as I would through the world. and trim as on the day previous when Bet- O, my excellent and kind friend, intercede tv's own hands had helped to make it. Two with my Rawdon's beloved aunt for him and little trunks were corded in one end of the the poor girl to whom all his noble race have room; and on the table before the window shown such unparalleled affection. Ask -on the pincushion-the great fat pincush- Miss Crawley to receive her children. I ion lined with pink inside, and frilled like a can say no more, but blessings, blessings on lady's nightcap-lay a letter. It had been all in the. dear house I leave, prays reposing there probably all night. " Your affectionate and grateful, Betty advanced toward it on tiptoe, as if "IREBECCA CRAWLEY she were afraid to awake it-looked at it, "Midnight." and round the room with an air of great wonder and satisfaction, took up the letter, Just as Briggs had finished reading this and grinned intensely as she turned it round -affecting and interesting document, which and over, and finally carried it into Miss reinstated her in her position as first confiBriggs's room below. dante of Miss Crawley, Mrs. Firkin entered How could Betty tell that the letter was the room. "Here's Mrs. Bute Crawley for Miss Briggs, I should like to know? All just arrived by the mail fiom Hampshire, the schooling Betty had was at Mrs. l ute and wants some tea; will you come down Crawley's Sunday school, and she could no and make breakfast, miss?" more read writing than Hebrew. And to the surprise of Firkin, clasping " La, Miss Briggs,"' the gil exclaimed, her dressing-gown around her, the wisp of "0, Miss, something must have happened hair floating disheveled behind her, the little -there's nobody in Miss Sharp's room; the curl-papers still sticking in bunches round bed aint beeil slep in, and she've run away, her forehead, Briggs sailed down to Mrs. and left this letter for you, Miss." Bute with the letter in her hand containing " What!" cries Briggs, dropping her comb, the wonderful news. the thlin wisp of faded hair falling over her " Oh, Mrs. Firkin," gasped Betty, i" sech shoulders; "an elopement! Miss Sharp a a business. Miss Sharp have a gone and fugitive! What, what is this?" and she run away with the capting, and they're off eagerly broke the neat seal, and, as they to Gretny Green!" We would devote a say,'devoured the contents" of the letter chapter to describe the emotions of Mrs. addre;sed to her. Firkin, did not the passions of her mistresses occupy our genteeler muse. "ID)AR M[ISS BRIGGS," the refugee wrote, " the Kindest heart in the world as yours is, When Mrs. Bute Crawley, numbed with will pi;y and sympathize with me and excuse midnight traveling, and Warming herself at rue. With tears, and prayers, and blessings, the newly crackling parlor fire, heard from I leave the home where the- poor orphan Miss Briggs the intelligence of the clandeshas ever met with kindness and affection. tine marriage, she declared it was quite 80 VANITY FAIR. providential that she snould have arrived at in. The little sly wretch: how dared she such a time to assist poor dear Miss Crawley not tell me?" cried out Miss Crawley. in supporting the shock-that Rebecca was "'She won't come in soon. Prepare an artful little hussy, of whom she had al- yourself, dear friend —she's gone out for a ways had her suspicions; and that as for long time-she's-she's gone altogether." Rawdon Crawley, she never could account "Gracious goodness, and who's to make for his aunt's infatuation regarding him, and my chocolate? Send for her and have her had long considered him a profligate, lost, back; I desire that she come back," the old and abandoned being. And this awful con- lady said. duct, Mrs. Bute said, will have at least this "She decamped last night, ma'am," cried good effect, it will open poor, dear Miss Mrs. Bute. Crawley's eyes to the real character of this " She left a letter for me," Briggs exwicked man. Then Mrs. Bute had a com- claimed. "She's married to"fortable hot toast and tea; and as there was " Prepare her, for heaven's sake. Don't a vacant room in the house now, there was torture her, my dear Miss Briggs." no need for her to remain at the Gloster " She's married to whom?" cries the Coffee House where the Portsmouth mail spinster, in a nervous fury. had set her down, and whence she ordered "To-to a relation of" — Mr. Bowls's aid-de-camp, the footman, to "She refused'Sir Pitt," cried the victim. bring away her trunks. " Speak at once. Don't drive me mad.", Miss Crawley, be it known, did not'leave " O ma'am-prepare her, Miss Briggsher room until near noon-taking chocolate she's married to Rawdon Crawley." in bed in the morning, while Becky Sharp "'Rawdon married-Rebecca-governess read the Morning Post to her, or otherwise -nobod-Get out of my house, you fools amusing herself or dawdling. The conspir- you idioty —,'u stupid old Briggs-how dare ators below agreed that they would spare you? YouroQe in the plot-you made him the dear lady's feelings until she appeared marry, thinking that I'd leave my money in her drawing-room: meanwhile it was an- from him-you did, Martha," the poor old nounced to her, that Mrs. Bute Crawley had lady screamed in hysteric sentences. come up from Hampshire by the mail, was "I, ma'am, ask a member of this family staying at the Gloster, sent her love to Miss to marry a drawing-master's daughter?" Crawley, and asked for breakfast with Miss "Her mother was a Montmorency," cried Briggs. The arrival of Mrs. Bute, which out the old lady, pulling at the bell with all would not have caused any extreme delight her might. at another period, was hailed with pleasure " Her mother was an opera girl, and she now; Miss Crawley being pleased at the has been on the stage or worse herself," notion of a gossip with her sister-in-law're- said Mrs. Bute. garding the late Lady Crawley, the funeral Miss Crawley gave a final scream, and arrangements pending, and Sir Pitt's abrupt fell back in a faint. They were forced to proposals to Rebecca. take her back to the room which she had It was not until the old lady was fairly just quitted. One fit of hysterics succeeded ensconced in her usual arm-chair in the another. The doctor was sent for-the drawing-room, and the preliminary embraces apothecary arrived. Mrs. Bute took up the and inquiries had taken place between the puost of nurse by her bedside. "1 Her relaladies, that the conspirators thought it ad- tions ought to be round about her," that visable to submit her to the operation. Who amiable woman said. has not admired the artifices and delicate She had scarcely been carried up to her approaches with which women " prepare" room. when a new person arrived, to whom their friends for bad news? Miss Crawley's it was also necessary to break the news. two friends made such an apparatus of rays- This was Sir Pitt. "Where's Becky?" he tery before they broke the intelligence to said, coming in. "Where's her traps? her, that they worked her up to the neces- She's comingwith me to Queen's Craw-!ey." sary degree of doubt and alarm. "Have you not heard the astonishing in"And she refused Sir Pitt, my dear, dear telligence regarding her surreptitious union?" IMiss Crawley, prepare yourself for it," Briggs asked. Mrs& Bute said, "because-because she "6 What's that to me?" Sir Pitt asked.: couldn't help herself." " I know she's married. That makes no "Of course there was a reason," Miss odds. Tell her to come down at once, and Crawley answered. " She liked somebody not keep me." else. I told Briggs so yesterday." "Are you not aware, sir," Miss rliggs "Likes somebody else!" Briggs gasped. asked, "'that she has left our roof, to the " my dear friend, she is married already." dismay of Miss Crawley, who is nearly kill" Married already," Mrs. Bute chimed ed by the intelligence of Captain Rayvdon's in; and both sat with clasped hands looking union with her?" from each other at their victim. When Sir Pitt Crawley heard thpat Re"Send her to me the instant she comes becca was married to his son, he brolke oust A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 81 into a fury of language, which it would do can't but feel some sympathies and regret. no good to repeat in this place, as indeed it My Lord Dives's remains are in the family sent poor Briggs shuddering out of the room; vault; the statuaries are cutting an inscripand with her we will shut the door upon the tion veraciously commemorating his virtues, figure of the frenzied old man, wild with and the sorrows of his heir, who is disposing hatred, and insane with baffled desire. of his goods. WVhat guest at Dives's table One day after lie went to Queen's Craw- can pass the familiar house without a sigh? ley, he burst like a madman into the room the familiar house of which the lights used to she had used when there-dashed open her shine so cheerfully at seven o'clock, of which boxes with his foot, and flung about her pa- the hall doors opened so readily, of which pers, clothes, and other relics. Miss Hor- the obsequious servants, as you passed up rocks, the butler's daughter, took some of the comfortable stair, sounded your name them. The children dressed themselves from landing to landing, until it reached the and acted plays in the others. It was but a apartment where jolly old Dives welcomed few days after the poor mother had gone to his friends! What a number of them he her lonely burying-place; and was laid, un- had; and what a noble way of entertaining wept and disregarded, in a vault full of them. How witty people used to be here strangers. who were morose when they got out of the door; and how courteous and friendly men "Suppose the old lady doesn't come to," who slandered and hated each other every Rawdon said to his little wife, as they sat where else! iHe was pompous, but with together in the snug little Brompton lodg- such a cook what would one not swallow? ings. She had been trying the newV piano He was rather dull, perhaps, but would not all the morning. The new gloves fitted her such wine make any conversation pleasant? to a nicety; the new shawls,=:became her We must get some of his Burgundy at any wonderfully; the new rings glif:tered on her price, the mourners cry at his club. " I got little hands, and the new watch ticked at her this box at old Dives's sale," Pincher says, waist; "suppose she don't come round, eh, handing it round; "one of Louis XV.'s Becky?" mistresses-pretty thing, is it not?-sweet "_I'll make your fortune," she said; and miniature," and they talk of the way in Dalilah patted Samson's cheek. which young Dives is dissipatinghis fortune. " You can do any thing," he said, kissing How changed the house is, though! The the little hand. "By Jove, you can; and front is patched over with bills, setting forth we'll drive down to the Star and Garter, the particulars of the furniture in staring and dine, by Jove." capitals. They have hung a shred of carpet out of an up-stairs window-a half-dozen of porters are lounging on the dirty stepsthe hall swarms with dingy guests of oriental CHAPTER XVII. countenance, who thrust printed cards into HOW CAPTAIN DOBBIN BOUGHT A PIANO. your hand, and offer to bid. Old women and amateurs have invaded the upper apartIF there is any exhibition in all Vanity ments, pinching the bed curtains, poking Fair which Satire and Sentiment can visit into the feathers, shampooing the mattresses, arm in arm together; where you light on and clapping the wardrobe drawers to and the strangest contrasts, laughable and tearful: fro. Enterprising young housekeepers are where you may be gentle and pathetic, or measuring the looking-glasses and hangings savage and cynical with perfect propriety: to see if they will suit the new menageit is at one of those public assemblies, a (Snob will brag for years that he has purcrowd of which are advertised every day in chased this or that at Dives's sale)-and Mr. the last page of the Times newspaper, and Hammerdown is sitting on the great maover which the late Mr. George Robins used hogany dining-tables, in the dining-room beto preside with so much dignity. There low, waving the ivory hammer, and employare very few Londdn people, as I fancy, ing all the artifices of eloquence, enthusiasm, who have not attended at these meetings, entreaty, reason, despair; shouting to his and all with a taste for moralizing must have people; satirizing Mr. Davids for his slugthought, with a sensation and interest not a gishness; inspiriting Mr. Moss into action; little startling and queer, of the day when imploring, commanding, bellowing, until their turn shall come too, and Mr. Ham- down comes the hammer like fate, and we merdown will sell by the orders of Dio- pass to the next lot. O Dives, who would genes's assignees; or will be instructed by ever have thought, as we sat round the the executors, to offer to public competition, broad table sparkling with plate and spotless the library, furniture, plate, wardrobe, and linen, ever to have seen such a dish at the choice cellar of wines of Epicurus, deceased. head of it as that roaring auctioneer? Even with the most selfish disposition, the It was rather late in the sale. The exVanity-fhirian, as he witnesses this sordid cellent drawing-room furniture by the best part of the obsequies of a departed fiiend, makers; the rare and famous wines selectFi S2 VANITY FAIR. ed, regardless of cost, and with the well Of all the other articles which Mr. Ham known taste of the purchaser; the rich and merdown had the honor to offer for public complete set of family plate had been sold competition that day it is not our purpose to on the previous day. Certain of the best make mention, save of one only; this was a wines (which all had a great character little square piano which came down from among amateurs in the neighborhood) had the upper regions of the house (the state been purchased for his master, who knew grand piano having been disposed of prethem very well, by the butler of our friend, viously); this the young lady tried with a John Osborne, Esquire,'of Russell-square. rapid and skillful hand, (making the officer -A small portion of the most useful articles blush and start again), and for it, when its of the plate had been bought by some young turn came, her agent began to bid. etock-brokers from the city. And now the But there was an opposition here. The public being invited to the purchase of minor Hebrew aid-de-camp in the service of the objects, it happened that the orator on the officer at the table bid against the Hebrew table was expatiating on the merits of a pic- gentleman employed by the elephant purture, which he sought to recommend to his chasers, and a brisk battle ensued over this audience: it was by no means so select or little piano, the combatants being greatly ennumerous a company as had attended the couraged by Mr. Harnmerdown. previous days of the auction. At last, when the competition had been "No. 369," roared Mr. Hammerdown. prolonged for some time, the elephant cap-'" Portrait of a gentleman on an elephant. tain and lady desisted from the race; and the Who'll bid for the gentleman on the ele- hammer coming down, the auctioneer said: phant? Lift up the picture, Blowman, and — " Mr. Lewis, twenty-five," and Mr. let the company examine this lot." A long, Lewis's chief thus became the proprietor pale, military-looking gentleman, seated de- of the little square piano. Having effectmurely at the mahogany table, could not help ed the purchase, he sate up as if he was grinning as this valuable lot was shown by greatly relieved, and the unsuccessful cornMr. Blowman. "Turn the elephant to the petitors catching a glimpse of him at this mocaptain, Blowman. What shall we say, sir, ment, the lady said to her fiiend, for the elephant?" but the captain, blushing "Why, Rawdon, it's Captain Dobbin." in a very hurried and discomfited manner, I suppose Becky was discontented with turned awmay his head, and the auctioneer the new piano her husband had hired for repeated his discomposure. her, or perhaps the proprietors of that in"' Shall we say twenty guineas for this work strument had fetched it away, declining farof art? —fifteen, five, name your own price. ther credit, or perhaps she had a particular The gentleman without the elephant is worth attachment for the one which she had first five pounds." tried to purchase, recollecting it in old days, " I wonder it aint come down with him," when she used to play upon it, in the little said a professional wag, "he's any h-ow a sitting-room of our dear Amelia Sedley. precious big one;" at which (for the elephant rider was represented as of a very stout fig- The sale was at the l6d house in Russellure) there was a general giggle in the room. square, where we passed some evenings to" Don't be trying to depreciate the value gether at the beginning of this story. Good of the lot, Mr. Moss," Mr. Hammerdown old John Sedley was a ruined man. His said; "let the company examine it as a name had been proclaimed as a defaulter on work of art-the attitude of the gallant ani- the Stock Exchange, and his bankruptcy mal quite hccording to natur; the gentleman and commercial extermination had followed. in a nankeen-jacket, his gun in his hand is Mr. Osborne's butler came to buy some of going to the chase; in the distance a ban- the famous port wine, to transfer to the celyan-tree and a pagoda, most likely resem- lars over the way. As for one dozen wellblances of some interesting spot in our fa- manufactured silver spoons and forks at per mous Eastern possessions. How much for oz., and one dozen dessert ditto, ditto, there this lot? Come, gentlemen, don't keep me Were three young stock-brokers (Messrs. here all'day." Dale, Spiggot, and Dale, of ThreadneedleSome one bid five shillings, at which the street, indeed), who having had dealings military gentleman looked toward the quar- with the old man, and kindnesses from him ter fiom which this splendid offer had come in days when he was kind to every body with - and there saw another officer with a young whom he dealt, sent this little spar out of the lady on his arm, who both appeared to be wreck with their love to good Mrs. Sedley; highly amused with the scene, an]d to whom, and with respect to the piano, as it had been finally, this lot was knocked down for half-a- Amelia's, and as she might miss it and want guinea. He at the table looked more sur- one now, and as Captain William Dobbin prised and discomposed than ever when he could no more play upon it, than he could spied this pair, and his head sank into his dance on the tight-rope, it is probable that military collar, and he turned his back upon he did not purchase it for his own use. them, so as to avoid them altogether. In a word, it arrived that evening, at a a —; - - -'-~-... ~ f /~ d ~' -'\- --- V ~~I~~~ —.'' ~-,'.M~~ ~.-' —~-..... ~,_,~~"' —. —x... ~'~ ~'~-.,"~,'.... -......... d~~~~~~~~~.......,-.-~~ j":._-._z.-__ ~, ~ ~' ~'~ - "'. - ",.:'~T I fl -_:.,... __~z~i~[ ___~ —-p-~._..~_..~......_,,, -, -,, x. ~,.x'...,,',., i~ ~ ~ ~~ ~"/',~(.7. 1............ A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 83 wonderfully small cottage in a street leading hoause, where she had met with no small from the Fulharn Road-one of those streets kindness, ransacked by brokers and bargainwhich have the finest romantic names-(this ers, and its quiet family treasures given up was called St. Adelaide Villas, Anna-Maria to public desecration and plunder. A month Road, West)-where the houses look like after her flight, she had bethought her of baby-houses; where the people, looking out Amelia, and Rawdon, with a horse laugh, of the first-floor windows, must infallibly, as had expressed a perfect willingness to see you think, sit with their feet in the parlors; young George Osborne again. "S He's a where the shrubs in the little gardens in very agreeable acquaintance, Beck," the front, bloom with a perennial display of little wag added. " I'd like to sell him another children's pinafores, little red socks, caps, horse, Beck. I'd like to play a few more &c. (polyandria polygynia); whence you games at billiards with him. He'd be what hear the sound of.jingling spinets and wom- I call useful just now, Mrs. C.-ha, ha!" by en singing; where little porter pots hang on which sort of speech it is not to be supposed the railings sunning themselves; whither of that Rawdon Crawley had a deliberate desvenings you see city clerks padding wear- sire to cheat Mr. Osborne at. play, but only 1y: here it was that Mr. Clapp, the clerk wished to take that fair advantage of him of Mr. Sedley, had his domicile, and in this which almost every sporting gentleman in.asylum the good old gentleman hid his head, Vanity Fair considers to be his due firom with his wife and daughter, when the crash his neighbor. same. The old aunt was long in " coming-to." Jos Sedley had acted as a man of his dis- A month had elapsed. Rawdon was denied position would, when the announcement of the door by Mr. Bowls; his servants could the family-misfortune reached him. He not get a lodgment in the house at Park did not come to London, but he wrote to Lane; his letters were sent back unopened. his mother to draw upon. his agents for Miss Crawley never stirred out-she was whatever money was wanted, so that his unwell —and Mrs. Bute remained still and kind, broken-.spirited old parents had no never left her. Crawley and his wife both present poverty to fear. This done, Jos of them augured evil fiom the continued went on at the boarding-house at Chelten- presence of Mrs. Bute. ham pretty much as before. He drove his " Gad, I begin to perceive now why she curricle; he drank his claret; he played his was always bringing us together at Queen's rubber; he told his Indian stories, and the Crawley." Rawdon said. Irish widow consoled and flattered him as "What an artful little woman!" ejacuusual. His present of money, needful as it lated Rebecca. was, made little impression on his parents; "Well, I don't regret it, if you don't," and I have heard Amelia say, that the first the captain cried, still in an amorous rapday ou which she saw her father lift up his ture with his wife, who rewarded him with head aft.er the failure, was on the receipt a kiss by way of reply, and was' indeed not of the packet of forks and spoons with the. a little gratified by the generous confidence young s-ocklbrokers' love, over which he of her husband. burst out, crying like a child, being greatly "If he had but a little more brains," she more affected than even his wife, to whom thought to herself, "I might make somethe present was addressed. Edward Dale, thing of him;" but she never let him perthe junior of the house, who purchased the ceive the opinion she had of him; listeneg spoons for the firm, was, in fact, very sweet with indefatigable complacency to his stories upon Amelia, and offered for her in spite of of the stable and the mess; laughed at all all. He married Miss Louisa Cutts (daugh- his jokes; felt the greatest interest in Jack ter of Higham and Cutts, the eminent corn- Spatterdash, whose cab-horse had come factors), with a handsome fortune, in 1820; down, and Bob Martingale, who had been and is now living in splendor, and with a taken up in a gambling-house, and Tom numerous family, at his elegant villa, Mus- Cinqbars, who was going to ride the steeplewell Hill. But we must not let the recol- chase. When he came home, she was alert lections of this good fellow cause us to di- and happy: when he went out she pressed verge from the plain and principal history. him to go: when he stayed at home, she played and sang for him, made him good I hope the reader has much too good an drinks, superintended his dinner, warmed opinion of Captain and Mrs. Crawley, to his slippers, and steeped his soul in cornfort suppose that they ever would have dreamed The best of women (I have hear'd my grandaf paying a visit to so remote a district as mother say) are hypocrites. - We don't Bloomsbury, if they thought the family know how much they hide from us: how whom they proposed to honor with a visit watchful they are when they seem most artwere not merely out of fashion, but out of I less and confidential: how often those frank money, and could be serviceable to them in smiles which they wear so easily, are traps no possible manner. Rebecca was entirely to cajole, or elude, or disarm —I don't mean surprised at the sight of the comfortable old, in your mere coquettes, but your domestic 84 VANITY FAIR. models, and paragons of female virtue.\~Who streets, but can point out a half-dozen of has not seen a woman hide the dullness of men riding by him splendidly, while he is a stupid husband, or coax the fury of a sayv- on foot, courted by fashion, bowed into their age one? We accept this amiable slavish- carriages by tradesmen, denying themselves ness, and praise a woman for it: we call nothing, and living on who knows what? this pretty treachery truth. A good house- We see Jack Thriftless prancing in the wife is of necessity a humbug: and Corne- park, or darting in his brougham down Pall lia's husband was hoodwinked, as Potiphar Mall: we eat his dinners served on his im - was-only in a different way. raculous plate. "How did this begin, we By these attentions, that veteran rake, say, or where will it end?" "My dear felRawdon Crawley, found himself converted low," I heard Jack once say, "I owe money into a very happy and submissive married in every capital in Europe." The end must man. His former haunts knew him not. come some day, but in the mean time Jack They asked about him once or twice at his thrives as much as ever; people are glad clubs, but did not miss him much: in those enough to shake him by the hand, ignore the booths of Vanity Fair people seldom do miss little, dark stories that are whispered every each other. His secluded wife ever smiling now and then against him, and pronounce and cheerful, his little comfortable lodgings, him a good-natured, jovial, reckless fellow. snug meals, and homely evenings, had all Truth obliges us to confess that Rebecca the charms of novelty and secrecy. The had married a gentleman of this order. marriage was not yet declared to the world, Every thing was plentiful in his house but or published in the Morning Post. All his ready money, of which their manage pretty creditors would have come rushing on him early felt the want; and reading the Gazette in a body, had they known that he was unit- one day, and coming upon the announceed to a woman without fortune. "'My re- ment of "Lieutenant G. Osborne to be lations won't cry fie upon me," Becky said, captain by purchase, vice Smith, who exwith rather a bitter laugh; and she was quite changes," Rawdon uttered that sentiment contented to wait until the old aunt should be regarding Amelia's lover, which ended in reconciled, before she claimed her place in the visit to Russell-square. society. So she lived at Brompton, and When Rawdon and his wife wished to meanwhile saw no one, or only those few communicate with Captain Dobbin at the of her husband's male companions who were sale, and to know particulars of the catastroadmitted into her little dining-room. These phe which had befallen Rebecca's old acwereallcharmedwithher. Thelittle dinners, quaintances, the captain had vanished; and the laughing and chatting, the music after- such information as they got, was from a ward, delighted all who participated in these stray porter or broker at the auction. enjoyments. Major Martingale never.thought "lLook at them with their hooked beaks," about asking to see the marriage license. Becky said, getting into the buggy, her picCaptain Cinqbars was perfectly enchanted ture under her arm in great glee. "They're with her skill in making punch. Young like vultures after the battle." Cornet and Lieutenant Spatterdash (who "Don't know. Never was in action, my was fond of piquet, and whom Crawley dear. Ask Martingale, he was in Spain, would often invite) was evidently and quick- aid-de-camp to General Blazes." ly smitten by Mrs. Crawley; but her own "He was a very kind old man, Mr. Sedcircumspection and modesty never forsook ley," Rebecca said; "I'm really sorry he's her for a moment, and Crawley's reputation gone wrong." as a fire-eating and jealous warrior, was a "O stockbrokers-bankrupts-used to it further and complete defense to his little you know!" Rawdon replied, cutting a fly wife. off the horse's ear. There are gentlemen of very good blood " I wish we could have afforded some of and fashion in this city, who never have en- the plate, Rawdon," the wife continued sentered a lady's drawing-room; so that though timentally. " Five-and-twenty guineas was Rawdon Crawley's marriage might be talk- monstrously dear for that little piano. We ed about in his county, where, of course, chose it at Broadwood's for Amelia, when Mrs. Bute had spread the news, in London she came from school. It only cost fiveit was doubted, or not heeded, or not talked and-thirty then." about at all. He lived comfortably on credit. "WVhat-d'ye-call'em Osborne, will cry off Hie had a large capital of debts, which, laid now, I suppose, since the family is smashed: out judiciously, will carry a man along for How cut up your pretty little friend will be, many years, and on which certain men hey, Becky?" about town contrive to live a hundred times "I dare say she'll recover it;" Becky said, better than even men with ready money can with a smile-and they drove on and talked do. Indeed who is there that walks London about something else. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 85 CHI-APTER ~x~VIII. that final crash came under which this worthy family fell. WOo PFLAYED ON THE PIANO CAPTAIN DOB- One night Mrs. Sedley was writing cards BIN BOUGHT? for a party; the Osbornes had given one, OuR surprised story now finds itself for a and she must not be behindhand; John moment among very famous events and per- Sedley, who had come home very late from sonages, and hanging on the skirts of his- the city, sat silent at the chimney side, tory. When the eagles of Napoleon Bona- while his wife was prattling to him; Emmy parte, the Corsican upstart, were flying had gone up to her room ailing and lowfrom Provence, where they had perched spirited. " She's not happy," the mother after a brief sojourn in Elba, and from went on. "George Osborne neglects her. steeple. to- steeple until they reached the I've no patience with the airs of those peotowers of N6tre Dame, I wonder whether ple. The girls have not been in the house the imperial birds had any eye for a little these three weeks; and George has been corner of the parish of Bloomsbury, Lon- twice in town without coming. Edward don, which you might have thought so quiet, Dale saw him at the opera. Edward would that even the whirring and flapping of marry her, I'm sure; and there's Captain those mighty wings would pass unobserved Dobbin who, I think, would-only I hate all there? army men. Such a dandy as George has "Napoleon has landed at Cannes." Such become with his military airs, indeed! We news might create a panic at Vienna, and must show some folks that we're as good as cause Russia to drop his cards, and take they. Only give Edward Dale any enPrussia into a corner, and Talleyrand and couragement, and you'll see. We must Metternich to wag their heads together, have a party, Mr. S. Why don't you while Prince Hardenberg, and even the speak, John? Shall I say Tuesday fortpresent Marquis of Londonderry, were night? Why don't you answer? Good puzzled; but how was this intelligence to af- God, John, what has happened?" fect a young lady in Russell-square, before John Sedley sprang out of his chair to whose door the watchman sang the hours meet his wife, who ran to him. He seized when, she was asleep: who, if she strolled her in his arms, and said, with a hasty voice, in the square, was guarded there by the "We're ruined, Mary. We've got the railings and the beadle: who, if she walked world to begin over again, dear. It's best ever so short a distance to buy a ribbon in that you should know all, and at once." As Southampton Row, was followed by black he spoke, he trembled in every limb, and alSambo with an enormous cane: who was most fell. He thought the news would have always cared for, dres'sed, put to bed, and overpowered his wife-his wife, to whom watched over by ever so many guardian he had never said a hard word. But it was angels, with and without wages. Bon he that was the most moved, sudden as the Dieu, I say, is it not hard that the fateful shock was to her. When he sank back into rush of the great imperial struggle can't his seat, it was the wife that took the office take place without affecting a poor little of consoler. She took his honest, kind hand, harmless girl of eighteen, who is occupied in and kissed it, and put it round her neck; billing and cooing, or working muslin collars she called him her John-her dear Johnin Russell-square? You, too, kindly, home- her old man-her kind old man: she poured ly flower! is the great roaring war tempest out a hundred words of incoherent love and coming to sweep you down, here, although tenderness; her faithful voice and simple cowering under the shelter of Holborn? caresses wrought this kind heart up to an Yes; Napoleon is flinging his last stake, and inexpressible delight and anguish, and cheerpoor little Emmy Sedley's happiness forms, ed and solaced his overburdened soul. somehow, part of it. Only once in the course of the long night In the first place, her father's fortune was as they sate together, and poor Sedley openswept down with that fatal news. All his ed his pent-up soul, and told the story of his speculations had of late gone wrong with losses and embarrassments-the treason of the luckless old gentleman. Ventures had some of his oldest friends, the manly kindfailed: merchants had broken: funds had ness of some from whom he never could risen when he calculated they would fall. have expected it-in a general confessionWhat need to particularize? If success is only once did the faithful wife give way to rare and slow, every body knows how quick emotion. and easy ruin is. Old Sedley had kept his "My God, my God, it will break Emmy's own sad counsel. Every thing seemed to heart," she said. go on as usual in the quiet, opulent house: The' father had forgotten the poor girl. the good-natured mistress pursuing, quite She was lying, awake and unhappy, overunsuspiciously, her bustling idleness, and head. In the midst of friends, home, and daily easy avocations; the daughter absorbed kind parents, she was alone. To how many still in one selfish, tender thought, and quite people can any one tell all? Who will be regardless of all the world besides, when open where there is no sympathy, or has 86 VANITY FAIR. call to speak to those who never can under- ter herself in a genteeler quarter of the stand? Our gentle Amelia was thus soli- town. Black Sambo, with the infatuation tary. She had no confidante, so to speak, of his profession, determined on setting up a ever since she had any thing to confide. She public-house. Honest old Mrs. Blenkinsop, could not tell the good mother her doubts indeed, who had seen the birth of. Jos and and cares: the would-be sisters seemed Amelia, and the wooing of John Sedley and every day more strange to her. And she his wife, was for staying by them without had misgivings and fears which she dared wages, having amassed a considerable sum not acknowledge to herself, though she was in their service: and she accompanied the always secretly brooding over them.. fallen people into their new and humble Her heart tried to persist in asserting that place of refuge, where she tended them and George Osborne was worthy~ and faithful to grumbled against them for a while. her, though she knew. otherwise. How Of all Sedley's opponents~ in his debates many a thing had she said, and got no echo with his creditors which now ensued, and from him. How many suspicions of selfish- harassed the feelings of the good, kindly ness and indifference had she to encounter old gentleman so severely, that in six weeks and obstinately overcome. To whom could he oldened more than he had done for fifthe poor little martyr tell these daily strug- teen years before, the most determined and gles and tortures? Her hero himself only obstinate seemed to be John Osborne, his half understood her. She did not dare to old friend and neighbor-John Osborne, own that the man she loved was her infe- whom he had set up in life-who was unrior; or to feel that she had given her heart der a hundred obligations to him-and whose away too soon. Given once, the pure, bash- son was to marry Sedley's daughter. Any ful maiden was too modest, too tender, too one of these circumstances would account trustful, too weak, too much woman to re- for the bitterness of Osborne's opposition. call it. We are Turks with the affections When one man has been under very reof our women; and have made them sub- rnarkable obligations to another, with whom scribe to our doctrine too. We let their he subsequently quarrels, a common sense bodies go abroad liberally enough, with of decency, as it were, makes of the former smiles, and ringlets, and pink bonnets, to dis- a much severer enemy than ai mere stranger guise them, instead of vails and yakmaks. would be. To account for your own hardBut their souls must be seen by only one heartedness and ingratitude in such a case," man, and they obey not unwillingly, and con- you are bound to prove the other party'ssent to remain at home as our slaves-min- crifie. It is not that you are selfish, brutal, istering to us and doing drudgery for us. and angry at the failure of a speculationSo imprisoned and tortured was this gen- no, no-it is that your partner has led you tie little heart, when, in the month of into it by the basest treachery and with the March, Anno Domini 1815, Napoleon land- most sinister motives. From a mere sense ed at Cannes, and Louis XVIII. fled, and of consistency, a persecutor is bound to all Europe was in alarm, and the funds fell, show that the fallen man is a villain-otherand good old John Sedley was ruined. wise he, the persecutor, is a wretch himself. We are not going to follow the worthy And as a general rule, which may make old stockbroker through those last pangs and all creditors, who are inclined to be severe, agonies of ruin through which he passed be- pretty comfortable in their minds, no men fore his commercial demise befell. They embarrassed are altogether honest, very likedeclared him at the Stock Exchange; he ly. They conceal something; they exagwas absent from his house of business: his gerate chances of good-luck, hide away the bills were protested: his act of bankruptcy real state of affairs, say that things are flourformal. The house and furniture of Rus- ishing when they are hopeless: keep a sell-square were seized and sold up, and he smiling face (a dreary smile it is) upon the and his family were thrust away, as we verge of bankruptcy-are ready to lay hold have seen, to hide their heads where they of any pretext for delay, or of any money, so might. as to stave off the inevitable ruin a few days John Sedley had not the heart to review longer. "Down with such dishonesty," the domestic establishment who have ap- says the creditor in triumph, and reviles his peared now and anon in our pages, and of sinking enemy. "You fool, why do you whom he was now forced by poverty to take catch at a straw?" calm good sense says to1 leave. The wages of those worthy people the man, that is drowning. "You villain, were discharged with that punctuality which why do you shrink from plunging into the men frequently show who only owe in great irretrievable Gazette?" says prosperity to sums-they were sorry to leave good places the poor devil battling in that black gulf. -but they did not break their hearts at Who has not marked the readiness with parting from their adored master and mis- which the closest of fiiends and honestest of tress. Amelia's maid was profuse in con- men suspect and accuse each other of cheatdolences, but went off quite resigned to bet- ing, when they-fall out on money matters? A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. Every body does it. Every body is right, I the affair between George and Ale. suppose, and the world is a rogue. alluded to it, it was with bitterness am. Then Osborne had the intolerable sense as great as Mr. Osborne himself had shov of former benefits to goad and irritate him: He cursed Osborne and his family as heartthese are always a cause of hostility aggra- less, wicked, and ungrateful. No power on vated. Finally, he had to break off the earth, he swore, would induce him to marry match between Sedley's daughter and his his daughter to the son of such a villain, and son; and as it had gone very far, indeed, he ordered Emmy to banish George from and as the poor girl's happiness, and, per- her mind, and to return all the presents and haps, character, were compromised, it was letters which she had ever had from him. necessary to show the strongest reasons for She promised acquiescence, and tried to the rupture, and for John Osborne to prove obey. She put up the two or three trinkets; John Sedley to be a very bad character indeed. and, as for the letters, she drew them out At the meeting of creditors, then, he com- of the place where she kept them; and read ported himself with a savageness and scorn them over-as if she did not know them by toward Sedley, which alnost succeeded in heart already: but she could not part with breaking the heart of that ruined, bankrupt them. That effort was too much for her; man. On George's intercourse with Ame- she placed them back in her bosom againlia he put an instant veto-menacing the as you have seen a woman nurse a child youth with maledictions if he broke his com- that is dead. Young Amelia felt that she mands, and vilipending the poor innocent would die or lose her senses outright, if torn girl as the basest and most artful of vixens. away from this last consolation. How she One of the great conditions of anger and used to blush and lighten up when those hatred is, that you must tell and believe lies letters came! How she used to trip away against the hated object, in order, as we said, with a beating heart, so that she might read to be consistent. unseen. If. they were cold, yet how perWhen the great crash came-the an- versely this fond little soul interpreted them nouncement of ruin, and the departure fiom into warmth. If they were short or selfish, Russell-square, an:l the declaration that all what excuses she found for the writer! was over between her and George-all over It was over these few worthless papers between her and love, her and happiness, that she brooded and brooded. She lived in her and faith in the world-a brutal letter her past life-every letter seemed to recal' from John Osborne told her in a few curt some circumstance of it. How well she lines that her father's conduct had been of remembered them all! His looks and tones, such a nature that all engagements between his dress, what he said and how-these relics the families were at an end-when the final and remembrances of dead affection were award came, it did not shock her so much all that were left her in the world, and the as her parents, as her mother, rather, ex- business of her life, to watch the corpse of pected (for John Sedley himself was en- Love. tirely prostrate in the ruins of his own affairs To death she looked with inexpressible and shattered honor). Amelia took the news longing. Then, she thought, I shall always very palely and calmly. It was only the be able to follow him. I am not praising confirmation of the dark presages which had her conduct or setting her up as a model for long gone before. It was the mere reading Miss Bullock to imitate. Miss B. knows of the sentence-of the crime she had long how to regulate her feelings better than this ago been guilty-the crime of loving wrongly, poor little creature. Miss B. would never too violently, against reason. She told no have committed herself as that imprudent more of her thoughts now than she had Amelia had done; pledged her love irrebefore. She seemed scarcely more unhap- trievably; confessed her heart away, and py now when coiivinced all hope was over, got back nothing-only a brittle promise than before, when she felt, but dared not which was snapped and worthless in a moconferss, that it was gone. So she changed ment. A long engagement is a partnership from the large house to the small one with- which one party is free to keep or to break, out any mark or difference; remained less but which involves all the capital of the in her little room for the most part; pined other. silently; and died away day by day. I do Be cautious then, young ladies; be wary not mean to say that all females are so. My how you engage. Be shy of loving frankly; dear Miss Bullock, I do not think your heart never tell all you feel, or (a better way still) would break in this way. You are a strong- feel very little. See the consequences of ninRded young woman with proper principles. being prematurely honest and confiding, and I do not venture to say that mine would; it mistrust yourselves and every body. Get has suffered, and, it must be confessed, sur- yourselves married as they do in France, vived. But there are some souls thus gen- where the lawyers are the bride's-maids tly constituted, thus frail, and delicate, and and confidantes. At any rate, never have tender. any feelings which may make you uncomWhenever old John Sedley thought of fortable, or make any promises which you, VANITY FAIR. it at any required moment command known, the mamma and sisters agreed to. withdraw. That is the way to get on, ge.ther in thinking: and they trembled lest,. be respected, and have a virtuous char- her engagement being off with Osborne, she acter in Vanity Fair. should take up immediately her other adIf Amelia could have heard the comments mirer and captain. In which forebodings regarding her which were made in the circle these worthy young womlen no doubt judged from which her father's ruin had just driven according to the best of their experienceher, she would have seen what her own or rather (for as yet they had had no opporcrimes were, and how entirely her charac- tunities of marrying or of jilting) according ter was jeopardied. Such criminal impru- to their own notions of right and wrong. dence Mrs. Smith never knew of; such "' It is a mercy, mamma, that the regiment horrid familiarities Mrs. Brown had always is ordered abroad." the girls said. " lThis condemned, and the end might be a warning danger, at any rate, is spared our brother." to her daughters.' "Captain Osborne, of Such, indeed, was the fact; and so it is course, could not marry a bankrupt's daugh- that the French emperor comes in to perter," the Miss Dobbins said. " It was quite formn a part in this domestic comedy of enough to have been swindled by the father. Vanity Fair which we are nvw playing, and As for that little Amelia^, her folly had really which would never have been enacted withpassed all-" out the intervention of this august mute " All what?" Captain Dobbin roared out. personage. It was he that ruined the Bour"Haven't they been engaged ever since they bons and Mr. John Sedley. It was he were children? Wasn't it as good as a whose arrival in his capital called up all marriage? Dare any soul on earth breathe France in arms to defend him there; and a word against the sweetest, the purest, the all Europe to oust him. While the French tenderest, the most angelical of young nation and army were swearing fidelity round women?" the eagles in the Champ de Mai, four mighty "La, William, don't be so highty-tighty European hosts were getting in motion for with us. We're not men. We can't fight the great chasse id' aigle; and one of these you," Miss Jane said. " We've said nothing was a British army, of which two heroes of against Miss Sedley: but that her conduct ours, Captain Dobbin and Captain Osborne, throughout was most imprudent, not to call formed a portion. it by any worse name; and that her parents The news of Napoleon's escape and landare people who certainly merit their mis- ing was received by the gallant —th with a fortunes." fiery delight and enthusiasm, which every " Hadn't you better, now that Miss Sed- body can understand who knows that famous ley is free, propose for her yourself, Will- corps. From the colonel to the smallest iam?" Miss A. asked sarcastically. "It drummer in the regiment, all were filled would be a most eligible family connection. with hope and ambition and patriotic furyHe! he!" and thanked the French emperor, as for a "I marry her!" Dobbin said, blushing personal kindness, in coming to disturb the very much and talking quick. " If you are peace of Europe. Now was the time the so ready, young ladies, to chop and change, -th had so long panted for to show their do you suppose that she is? Laugh and comrades in arms that they could fight as sneer at that angel. She can't hear it; and well as the Peninsular veterans, and that all she s miserable and unfortunate, and deserves the pluck and valor of the -th had not been tobelaughedat. Goonjoking,Ann. You're killed by the West Indies and the yellow the wit of the family, and the others like to fever. Stubble and Spoony looked to get hear it." their companies without purchase. Before "1 must tell you again we're not in a the end of the campaign (which she resolvbarrack, William," Miss Ann remarked. ed to share), Mrs. Major Q.'Dowd hoped to "In a barrack, by Jove-I wish any body write herself Mrs. Colonel O'Dowd, C. B. in a barrack would say what you do," cried Our two friends (Dobbin and Osborne) were out this improved British lion. C' I should quite as much excited as the rest: and each like to hear a man breathe a word against in his way-Mr. Dobbin very quietly, Mr. her, by Jupiter. But men don't talk in this Osborne very loudly and energetically-was way, Ann: it's only women, who get to- bent upon doing his duty, and gaining his gether, and hiss, and shriek, and cackle. share of honor and distinction. There, get away-don't begin to cry. I The agitation thrilling through the counonly said you were a couple of geese," Will. try and army in consequence of this news Dobbin said, perceiving Miss Ann's pink eyes was so great, that private matters were little were beginning to moisten as usual. "Well, heeded: and hence probably George Osyou're not geese, you're swans-any thing borne, just gazetted to his company, busy you like, only do, do leave Miss Sedley with preparations for the march, which must alone." come inevitably, and panting for further proAny thing like William's infatuation about motion-was not so much affected by other that silly little flirting, ogling thing was never incidents which would have interested him A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. at a mnore quiet period. He was not, it;"I shall often play upon the plano-your must be confessed, very much cast down piano. It was like you to send it." by good old Mr. Sedley's catastrophe. He tried his new uniform, which became him Dobbin was very soft-hearted. The sight very handsomely, on the day when the first of women and children in pain always used meeting of the creditors of the unfortunate to melt him. The idea of Amelia brokengentleman took place. His father told him hearted and lonely, tore that good-natured of the wicked, rascally, shameful conduct of soul with anguish. And he broke out into the bankrupt, reninded him of what he had an emotion, which any body who likes may said about Amelia, and that their connection consider unmanly. He swore that Amelia was broken off forever; and gave him that was an angel, to which Osborne said aye, evening a good sum of money to pay for the with all his heart. He, too, had been renew clothes and epaulets in which he look- viewing the history of their lives-and had ed so well. Money was always useful to seen her from her childhood to her present this free-handed young fellow, and he took age, so sweet, so innocent, so charmingly it without many words. The bills were up simple, and artlessly fond and tender. in tile Sedley house, where he had passed What a pang it was to lose all that: to so many, many happy houms. He could see have had it and not prized it! A thousand them as he walked fiom home that night (to homely scenes and recollections crowded the Old Slaughter's, where he put up when on him-in which he always saw her good in town) shining white in the moon. That and beautiful. And for himself, he blushed comfortable home was shut then upon Ame- with remorse and shame, as the rememlia-and her parents: where had they taken brance of his own selfishness and indifference refuge? The thought of their ruin affected contrasted with that perfect purity. For a him not a little. He was very melancholy while, glory, war, every thing was forgotten, that night in the coffee-room at the Siaugh- and the pair of friends talked about her only. ter's; and drank. a good deal, as his comrades " Where are they?" Osborne asked, after remarked there. a long talk, and a long pause-and, in truth, Dobbin came in presently, cautioned him with no little shame at thinking that he had about the drink, which he only took, he said, taken no steps to follow her. "Where are because he was deuced low; but when his they? There's no address to the note." friend began to put to him clumsy inquiries, Dobbin knew. He had not merely sent and asked him for news in a significant man- the piano; but had written a note to Mrs. ner, Osborne declined entering into conver- Sedley, and asked permission to come and see sation with him; avowing, however, that he her-and he had seen her, and Amelia too, was devilish disturbed and unhappy. yesterday, before he came down to ChatThree days afterward, Dobbin found Os- ham; and, what is more, he had brought borne in his room at the barracks:-his head that farewell letter and packet which had so on the table, a number of papers about, the moved them. young captain evidently in a state of great The good-natured fellow had found Mrs. despondency. " She's-she's sent me back Osborne only too willing to receive him, some things I gave her-some damned trink- and greatly agitated by the arrival of the ets. Look here!" There was a little packet piano, which, as she conjectured, must have directed in the well-known hand to Captain come from George, and was a signal of George Osborne, and some things lying about amity on his part. Captain Dobbin did not -a ring, a silver knife he had bought, as a correct this error of the worthy lady, but boy, for her at a fair; a gold chain, and a listened to all her story of complaints and locket with hair in it. "It's all over," said misfortunes with great sympathy —condoled he, with a groan of sickening remorse. with her losses and privations, and agreed " Look, Will, you may read it if you like." in reprehending the cruel conduct of Mr. There was a little letter of a few lines, to Osborne toward his first benefactor. WThen which he pointed, which said: she had eased her overflowing bosom somewhat, and poured forth many of her sor"My papa has ordered me to return to rows, he had the courage to ask actually to you these presents, which you made in hap- see Amelia, who was above in her room as pier days to me; and I am to write to you usual, and whom her mother led trembling for the last time. I think I know you feel down stairs. as much as I do the blow which has come Her appearance was so ghastly, and hem upon us. It is I that absolve you from an look of despair so pathetic, that honest Wiiengagement which is impossible in our pres- liam Dobbin was frightened as he beheld it: ent misery. I am sure you had no share in and read the most fatal forebodings in that it, or in the cruel suspicions of Mr. Osborne, pale, fixed face. After sitting in his comwhich are the hardest of all our griefs to pany a minute or two, she put the packet bear. Farewell. Farewell. I pray God into his hand, and said, " Take this to Capto strengthen me to bear this and other ca- tain Osborne, if you please, and —and I hope lamities. and to bless you always A. he's quite well —and it was very kind of you 90 VANITY FAIR. to come and see us-and we like our new companion, also; and had secu:ed the lat. house very much. And I-I think I'll go ter's good will by a number of those attenup-stairs, mamma, for I'm not very strong." tions and promises, which cost so little in And with this, and a courtesy and a smile, the making, and are yet so valuable and the poor child went her way. The mother, agreeable to the recipient. Indeed every as she led her up, cast back looks of anguish good economist and manager of a househola toward Dobbin. The good fellow wanted must know how cheap, and yet how amiano such appeal. He loved her himself too ble, these professions are, and what a flavor fondly for that. Inexpressible grief, and they give to the most homely dish in life. pity, and terror pursued him, and he came Who was the blundering idiot who said that away as if he was a criminal after seeing "fine words butter no parsnips?" Half the her. parsnips of society are served and rendered When Osborne heard that his friend had palatable with no other sauce. As the imround her, he made hot and anxious in- mortalAlexis Soyel can make more delicious quiries regarding the poor child. How was soup for a halfpenny, than an ignorant cook she? How did she look? What did she can concoct with pounds of vegetables and say? His comrade took his hand, and looked meat; so a skillful artist will make a few him in the face. simple and pleasing phrases go farther than " George, she's dying," William Dobbin ever so much substantial benefit-stock in the said-and could speak no more. hands of a mere bungler. Nay, we know that substantial benefits often sicken some There was a buxom Irish servant girl, stomachs; whereas, most will digest any who performed all the duties of the little amount of fine words, and be always eager house where the Sedley family had found for more of the same fobod. Mrs. Bute had refuge; and this girl had in vain, on many told Briggs and Firkin so often of the depth previous days, striven to give Amelia aid or of her affection for them; and what she consolation. Emmy was much too sad to would do if she had Miss Crawley's fortune answer her, or even to be aware of the for friends so excellent and attached, that the attempts the other was making in her favor. ladies in question had the deepest regard Four hours after the talk between Dobbin for her; and felt as much gratitude and conand Osborne, this servant maid came into fidence as if Mrs. Bute had loaded them Amelia's room, where she sate as usual, with the most expensive favors. brooding silently over her letters-her little Rawdon Crawley, on the other hand, like treasures. The girl, smiling, and looking a selfish heavy dragoon, as he was, never arch and happy, made many trials to attract took the least trouble to conciliate his aunt's poor Emmy's attention, who, however, took aids-de-camp, showed his contempt for the no heed of her. pair with entire friankness-made Firkin pull " Miss Emmy!" said the girl.. off his boots on one occasion-sent her out " I'm coming," Emmy said, not looking in the rain on ignomninious messages-and if round. he gave her a guinea, flung it to her as if it " There's a message," the maid went were a box on the ear. As his aunt, too, on. "There's something-somebody-sure, made a butt of Briggs, the captain followed here's a new letter for you —don't be read- the example and leveled his jokes at hering them old ones any more." And she jokes about as delicate as a kick fromh his gave her the letter, which Emmy took, and charlger. Whereas, Mrs. Bute consulted read. her in matters of taste or difficulty, admired " 1 must see you," the letter said. "Dear- her poetry, and by a thousand acts of kindest Emmy - dearest love - dearest wife, ness and politeness, showed her appreciation come to me." of Briggs; and if she made Firkin a twoGeorge and her mother were outside, penny-halfpenny present, accompanied it waiting until she had read the letter. with so many compliments, that the twopence-halfpenny was transmuted into gold in the heart of the grateful waiting-ilaid, who, besides, was looking forward quite conCHAPTER XIX. tentedly to some prodigious benefit which must happen to her on the day when Mlrs. -Bute came into her fortune. WE have seen how Mrs. Firkin, the lady's The different conduct of these two people maid, as soon as any event of importance to is pointed out respectfully to the attention the Crawley family came to her knowledge, of persons commencing the world. Praise felt bound to communicate it to Mrs. Bute every body, I say, to such; never be squeamCrawley, at the Rectory; and have before ish, but speak out your compliment, both mentioned how particularly kind and atten- point-blank in a man's face and behind his tive that good-natured lady was to Miss back, when you know there is a reesonable Crawley's confidential servant. She had chance of his hearing it again. Never lose been a gracious friend to Mrs. Briggs, the a chance of saying a kind word. As Col. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 91 llngwood never saw a vacant place in his es- uged her patient with draughts every two tate bu-t he took an acorn out of his pocket hours. When any body entered the room, and popped it in; so deal with your compli- she uttered a shshshsh so sibilant and omiments through life. An acorn costs nothing; nous, that it frightened the poor old lady in but it may sprout into a prodigious bit of her bed, firom which she could not look withtimber. out seeing Mrs. Bute's beady eyes eagerly In a word, during Rawdon Crawley's fixed on her, as the latter sat steadfast in the prosperity, he was only obeyed with sulky arm-chair by the bed-side. They seemed acquiescence; when his disgrace came, there to lighten in the dark (for she kept the curwas nobody to help or pity him. Whereas, tains closed) as she moved about the room when Mrs. Bute took the command at Miss on velvet paws like a cat. There Miss Crawley's house, the garrison there were Crawley lay for days-ever so many days — charmed to act under such a leader, expect- Mrs. Bute reading books of devotion to her; ing all sorts of promotion fiom her promises, for nights, long nights, during which she her generosity, and her kind words. had to hear the watchman sing, the night-,That he would consider himself beaten, light sputter; visited at midnight, the last after one defeat, and make no attempt to thing, by the stealthy apothecary; and then regain the position he had lost, Mrs. Bute left to look at Mrs. Bute's twinkling eyes, Crawley never allowed herself to suppose. or the flicks of yellow that the rushlight She knew Rebecca to be too clever and spir- threw on the dreary darkened ceiling. Hyited, and desperate a woman to submit with- geia herself would have fallen sick under out a struggle; and felt that she must pre- such a regimen; and how much more this pare for that combat, and be incessantly poor old nervous victim? It has been said watchful against assault, or mine, or sur- that when she was in health and good spirprise. its, this venerable inhabitant of Vanity Fair In the first place, though she held the had as free notions about religion and morals town, was she sure of the principal inhabit- as Monsieur de Voltaire himself could deant? Would Miss Crawley herself hold sire; but when illness overtook her, it was out; and had she not a secret longing to aggravated by the most dreadful terrors of welcome back the ousted adversary? The death, and an utter cowardice took possesold lady liked Rawdon, and Rebecca, who sion of the prostrate old sinner. amused her. Mrs. Bute could not disguise Sick-bed homilies and pious reflections from herself the fact that none of her party are, to be sure, out of place in mere storycould so contribute to the pleasures of the books, and we are not going (after the fashtown-bred lady. " My girls' singing, after ion of some novelists of the present day) to that little odious governess's, I know is un- cajole the public into a sermon, when it is bearable," the candid rector's wife owned to only a comedy that the reader pays his herself. "'She always used to go to sleep money to witness. But, without preaching, when Martha and Louisa played their duets. the truth may surely be borne in mind, that Jim's stiff college manners and poor dear the bustle, and triumph and laughter, and Bute's talk about his dogs and horses always gayety which Vanity Fair exhibits in public, annoyed her. If I took her to the Rectory, do not always pursue the performer into she would grow angry with us all, and fly, private life, and that the most dreary del know she would; and might fall into that pression of spirits and dismal repentences horrid Rawdon's clutches again, and be the sometimes overcome him. Recollection of victim of that little viper of a Sharp. Mean- the best ordained banquets will scarcely while, it is clear to me that she is exceed- cheer sick epicures. Reminiscences of the ing]y unwell, and can not move for some most becoming dresses and brilliant ball triweeks, at any rate; during which we must umphs will go very little way to console faded think of some plan to protect her from the beauties. Perhaps statesmen, at a particuarts of those unprincipled people." lar period of existence, are not much gratiIn the very best of moments, if any body fied at thinking over the most triumphant told Miss Crawley that she was, or looked divisions; and the success or the pleasure ill, the trembling old lady sent off for her of yesterday become of very small account doctor; and I dare say she was very unwell when a certain (albeit uncertain) morrow is after the sudden family event. which might in view, about which all of us must some day serve to shake stronger nerves than hers. or other be speculating. O brother wearers At least, Mrs. Bute thought it was her of motley! A;e there not moments when duty to inform the physician, and the apoth- one grows sick of grinning and tumbling, and ecary, and the dame-de-comjpagnie, and the the jingling of cap and bells? This, dear domestics, that Miss Crawley was in a most friends and companions, is my amiable obcritical state, and that they were to act ac- ject-to walk with you through the Fair, to cordingly. She had the street laid knee- examine the shops and the shows there; deep with straw; and the knocker put by and that we should all come home after the with Mr. Bowls's plate. She insisted that flare, and the noise, and the gayety, and he the doctor should call twice a day; an i del- perfectly miserable in private. 92 VANITY FAIR. " If that poor man of mine had a head on Rebecca, too, being now a relative, came his shoulders," Mrs. Bute Crawley thought in for the fullest share of Mrs. Bute's kind to herself, "how useful he might be, under inquiries. This indefatigable pursuer of present circumstances, to this unhappy old truth (having given strict orders that the lady! He might make her repent of her door was to be denied to all emissaries or letshocking fiee-thinking ways; he might urge ters from Rawdon), took Miss Crawley's her to do her duty, and cast off that odious carriage, and drove to her old friend Miss reprobate who has disgraced himself and his Pinkerton, at Minerva House, Chiswick family; and he might induce her to do jus- Mall, to whom she announced the dreadful tice to my dear girls and the two boys, who intelligence of Captain Rawdon's seduction require and deserve, I am sure, every as- by Miss Sharp, and from whom she got all sistance which their relatives can give them." the particulars she could regarding the exAnd, as the hatred of vice is always a governess's birth and early history. The progress toward virtue, Mrs. Bute Crawley friend of the Lexicographer had plenty of endeavored to instil into her sister-in-law a information to give. Miss Jemima was proper abhorrence for all Rawdon Crawley's made to fetch the drawing-master's receipts manifold sins; of which his uncle's wife and letters. This one was from a spungingbrought forward such a catalogue as indeed house: that entreated an advance: another would have served to condemn a whole reg- was Cull of gratitude for Rebecca's reception iment of young officers.> If a man has com- by the ladies of Chiswick: and the last docmitted wlong in life, I don't know any mo- ument from the unlucky artist's pen was ralist more anxious to point his errors out to that in which, from his dying bed, he recthe world than his own relation(4~so Mrs. omended his orphan child to Miiss PinkerBute showed a perfect family interest and ton's protection. There were juvenile letknowledge of Rawdon's history. She had ters and petitions from Rebecca, too, in the all the particulars of that ugly quarrel with collection, imploring aid for her father, or Captain Firebrace, in which Rawdon, wrong declaring her own gratitude. Perhaps in from the beginning, ended in shooting the Vanity Fair there are no better satires than captain. She knew how the unhappy Lord letters. Take a bundle of your dear firiend's Dovedale, whose mamma had taken a house of ten years back-your dear fiiend whom at Oxford, so that he might be educated you hate now. Look at a file of your sisthere, and who had never touched a card in ter's: how you clung to each other till you his life till he came to London, was perverted quarreled about the twenty pound legacy. by Rawdon at the Cocoa Tree, made help- Get down the round-hand scrawls of your lessly tipsy by.this abominable seducer and son, who has half broken your heart with perverter of youth, and fleeced of four thou- selfish undutifulness since; or a parcel of sand pounds. She described with the most your own, breathing endless ardor and love vivid minuteness the agonies of the country eternal, which were sent back by your misfamilies whom he had ruined-the sons tress when she married the nabob-your whom he had plunged into dishonor and mistress, for whom you now care no more poverty-the daughters whom he had in- than for Queen Elizabeth. Vows, love, veigled into perdition. She knew the poor promises, confidence, gratitude, how queertradesmen who were bankrupt by his ex- ly they read after a while! There ought to travagance-the mean shifts and rogueries be a law in Vanity Fair ordering the dewith which he had ministered to it-the as- struction of every written document (extounding falsehoods by which he had im- cept receipted tradesmen's bills), after a posed upon the most generous of aunts, and certain brief and proper interval. Those the ingratitude and ridicule by which he quacks and misanthropes who advertise inhad repaid her sacrifices. She imparted delible Japan ink, should be made to perish -these stories gradually to Miss Crawley; along with their wicked discoveries. The gave her the whole benefit of them; felt it best ink for Vanity Fair use would be one to be her bounden duty as a Christian woman that faded utterly in a couple of days, and and mother of a family to do so; had not the left the paper clean and blank, so that you smallest remorse or compunction for the might write on it to somebody else. victim whom her tongue was immolating; From Miss Pinkerton's the indefatigable nay, very likely thought her act was quite Mrs. Bute followed the track of Sharp and meritorious, and plumed herself upon her his daughter back to the lodgings in Greekresolute manner of performing it. Yes, if street, which the defunct painter had occua man's character is to be abused, say what pied; and where portraits of the landlady in you will, there's nobody like a relation to do white satin, and of the husband in brass butthe business. And one is bound to own, tons, done by Sharp in lieu of a quarter's regarding this unfortunate wretch of a Raw- rent, still decorated the parlor walls. Mrs. don Crawley, that the mere truth was Stokes was a communicative person, and enough to condemn him, and that all inven- quickly told all she knew about Mr. Sharp, tions of scandal were quite superfluous pains how dissolute and poor he was; how goodon his friends' parts. natured and amusing; how he was always A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 93 hunted by bailiffs and duns; how, to' the j discomfort: I never refuse to sacrifice mylandlady's horror, though she never could self." abide the woman, he did not marry his wife "Your devotion, it must be confessed, is till a short time before her death; and what admirable," Mr. Clump says, with a low a queer little wild vixen his daughter was; bow; " but-" how she kept them all laughing with her "I have scarcely closed my eyes since fun and mimicry; how she used to fetch my arrival: I give up sleep, health, every the gin from the public-house, and was comfort, to my sense of duty. WVhen my known in all the studios in the quarter-in poor James was in the small-pox, did I allow brief, Mrs. Bute got such a full account of any hireling to nurse him? No." her new niece's parentage, education, and "You did what became an excellent behavior, as would scarcely have pleased mother, my dear madam-the best of mothRebecca, had the latter known that such ers; but-" inquiries were being made concerning her. 1" As the mother of a family amid the wife Of all these industrious researches Miss of an English clergyman, 1 humbly trust Crawley had the full benefit. Mrs. Raw- that my principles are good," Mrs. Bute don Crawley was the daughter of an opera- said, with a happy solemnity of conviction; girl. She had danced herself. She had "and as long as nature supports me, never, been a model to the painters. She was never, Mr. Clump, will I desert the post of brought up as became her mother's daugh- duty. Others may bring that gray head ter. She drank gin with her father, &c., with sorrow to the.bed of sickness" (here &c. It was a lost woman who was married IMrs. Bute, waving her hand, pointed to to a lost man; and the moral to be inferred one of old Miss Crawley's coffee-colored from Mrs. Bute's tale was, that the knavery fronts, which was perched on a stand in the of the pair was irremediable, and that no dressing-room), "but I will never quit it. properly conducted person should ever no- Ah, Mr. Clump! I fear, I know that that tice them again. couch needs spiritual hs well as medical conThese were the materials which prudent solation." Mrs. Bute gathered together in Park Lane, 1" What I was going to observe, my dear the provisions and ammunition, as it were, madam," here the resolute Clump once with which she fortified the house against more interposed with a bland air-" what the siege which she knew that Rawdon and I was going to observe when you gave uthis wife would lay to Miss Crawley. terance to sentiments which do you so much honor, was that I think you alarm yourself But if a fault may be found with her ar- needlessly about ofir kind friend, and sacrifice rangements, it is this, that she was too ea- your own health too prodigallyin her favor." ger: she managed rather too well; undoubt- "I would lay down my life for my duty, edly she made Miss Crawley more ill than or for any member of my husband's family," was necessary; and though the old invalid Mrs. Bute interposed. succumbed to her authority, it was so ha- "Yes, madam, if need were; but we rassing and severe, that the victim would be don't want Mrs. Bute Crawley to be a marinclined to escape at the very first chance tyr," Clump said gallantly. "Dr. Squills which fell in her way. Managing women, and myself have both considered Miss Crawthe ornaments of their sex-women who or- ley's case with every anxiety and care, as der every thing for every body, and know so you may suppose. We see her low-spirited much better than any person concerned and nervous; family events have agitated what is good for their neighbors, don't some- her." times speculate upon the possibility of a do- "Her nephew will comne to perdition," mestic revolt, or upon other extreme conse- Mrs. Crawley cried. quences resulting from their overstrained "Have agitated her: and you arrived like authority.. a guardian angel, my dear madam, a positive Thus, for instance, Mrs. Bute; with the guardian angel, I assure you, to soothe her unbest intentions, no doubt, in the world, and der the pressure of calamity. But Dr. Squills wearing herself to death as she did by fore- and I were thinking that our amiable fiiend going sleep, dinner, fresh air, for the sake is not in such a state as renders confinement of her invalid sister-in-law, carried her con- to her bed necessary. She is depressed, viction of the old lady's illness so far that but this confinement perhaps adds to her she almost managed her into her coffin. depression. She should have change, fiesh She pointed out her sacrifices and their re- air, gayety; the most delightful remedies in suits one day to the constant apothecary, Mr. the pharmacopceia," Mr. Clump said, grinClump. ning and showing his handsome teeth. "Per"I am sure, my dear Mr. Clmnp," she suade her to rise, dear madam; drag her said, " no efforts of mine have been wanting fiom her couch and her low spirits; insist to restore our dear invalid, whom the in- upon her taking little drives. They will gratitude of her nephew has laid on the bed restore the roses, too, to your cheeks, if 1 of sickness. 1 never shrink from personal may so speak to Mrs. Bute Crawley." 94 VANITY FAIR. "The sight of her horrid nephew casual- made to her, and Mrs. Bute saw that she ly in the park, where I am told the wretch must get her patient into cheerful spirits drives with the brazen partner of his crimes," and health before she could hope to attair.Mrs. Bute said (letting the cat of selfish- the pious object which she had in view. ness out of the bag of secrecy), "would Whither to take her was the next puzzle. cause her such a shock, that we should have The only place where she is not likely to to bring her back to bed again. She must meet those odious Rawdons is at church,.not go out, Mr. Clump. She shall not go and that won't amuse her, Mrs. Bute justly out as long as I remain to watch over her. felt. " We must go and visit our beautiful And as for g2y health, what matters it? I suburbs of London," she then thought. "I give it cheerfully, sir. I sacrifice it at the hear they are the most picturesque in the altar of my duty." world;" and so she had a sudden interest "Upon my word, madam," Mr. Clump for Hampstead, and Hornsey, and found now said bluntly, "I won't answer for her that Dulwich had great charms for her, and life if she remains locked up in that dark getting her victinl into her carriage, drove room. She is so nervous that we may lose her to those rustic spots, beguiling the little her any day; and if you wish Captain Craw- journeys with conversations about Rawdon ley to be her heir, I warn you frankly, and his wife, and telling every story to the madam, that you are doing your very best old lady which could add to her indignation to serve him." against this pair of reprobates. "Gracious mercy! is her life in dan- Perhaps Mrs. Bute pulled the string unger?" Mrs. Bute cried. "Why, why, Mr. necessarily tight. For though she worked Clump, did you not inform me sooner?" up Miss Crawley to a proper dislike of her The night before, Mr. Clump and Dr. disobedient nephew, the invalid had a great Squills had had a consultation (over a bottle hatred and secret terror of her victimizer, of wine at the house of Sir Lapin Warren, and panted to escape from her. After a whose lady was about to present him with brief space, she rebelled against Highgate a thirteenth blessing), regarding Miss Craw- and Hornsey utterly. She would go into ley and her case. the park. Mrs. Bute knew they would' What a little harpy that woman fiom meet the abominable Rawdon there, and Hampshire is, Clump," Squills remarked, she was right. One day in the ring, Raw"that has seized upon old Tilly Crawley: don's stanhope came in sight; Rebecca Devilish good Madeira." was seated by him. In the enemy's equii" What a fool Rawdon Crawley has page Miss Crawley occupied her usual been," Clump replied, " to go and marry a place, with Mrs. Bute on her left, the governess! There was something about the poodle and Miss Briggs on the back seat. It girl, too." was a nervous moment, and Rebecca's "Green eyes, fair skin, pretty figure, fa- heart beat quick as she recognized the carmous fiontal development," Squills remark- riage; and as the two vehicles crossed each ed. "There is something about her; and other in the line, she clasped her hands, Crawley was a fool, Squills." and looked toward the spinster with a face' A d fool-always was," the apothe- of agonized attachment and devotion. Rawcary replied. don himself trembled, and his face grew'; Of course the old girl will fling him purple behind his dyed mustaches. Only over," said the physician, and after a pause old Briggs was moved in the other carriage, added, " She'll cut up well, I suppose," and cast her great eyes nervously toward "' Cut up," says Clump with a grin; "I her old friends. Miss Crawley's bonnet wouldn't have her cut up for two hundred a was resolutely turned toward the Serpenyear." tine. Mrs. Bute happened to be in ecsta"' That Hampshire woman will kill her in cies with the poodle, and was calling him a two months, Clump, my boy, if she stops little darling, and a sweet little zoggy, and about her," Dr. Squills said. "Old woman; a pretty pet. The carriages moved on, each full feeder; nervous subject; palpitation of in his line. the heart; pressure on the brain; apoplexy; "Done, by Jove," Rawdon said to his off she goes. Get her up, Squills; get her wife. out; or I wouldn't give many weeks' pur- "Try once more, Rawdon," Rebecca anchase for your two hundred a year." And swered. " Could not you lock your wheele it was acting upon this hint that the worthy into theirs, dearest?" apothecary spoke with so much candor to Rawdon had not the heart for that maMrs. Bute Crawley. ncmuvre. When the carriages met again, Having the old lady under her hand; in he stood up in his stanhope; he raised his bed, with nobody near, Mrs. Bute had made hand ready to doff his hat; he looked with more than one assault upon her, to induce all his eyes. But this time Miss Crawley'a her to alter her will. But Miss Craw- face was not turned away; she and Mars ley's usual terrors regarding death increased Bute looked him full in the face, and.cut greatly when such dismal propositions were their nephew pitilessly. He sank back in A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 95 his seat with an oath, and striking out of the was, and raise up this kneeling Esther and ring, dashed away desperately homeward. make a queen of her: besides, her sadIt was a gallant and decided triumph for ness and beauty touched him as much as MIrs. Bute. But she felt the danger of many her submission, and so he cheered her, and such meetings, as she saw the evident nerv- raised her up and forgave her, so to speak. ousness of Miss Crawley; and she determin- All her hopes and feelings, which were dyed that it was most necessary for her dear ing and withering, this her sun having been friend's health, that they should leave town removed from her, bloomed again and at for a while, and recommended Brighton very once, its light being restored. You would strongly. scarcely have recognized the beaming little face upon Amelia's pillow that night as the one that was laid there the night before, so CHAPTER XX. wan, so lifeless, so careless of all round about. The honest Irish maid-servant, delighted IN WHICH CAPTAIN DOBBIN ACTS AS THE with the change, asked leave to kiss the face MESSENGER OF HYMEN. that had grown all of a sudden so rosy. WITHOUT knowing how, Captain William Amelia put her arms round the girl's neck Dobbin found himself the great promoter, and kissed her with all her heart, like a child. arranger, and manager of the match between She was little more. She had that night a George Osborne and Amelia. But for him sweet, refreshing sleep, like one —and what it never would have taken place: he could a spring of inexpressible happiness as she not but confess as much to himself, and woke in the morning sunshine! smiled rather bitterly as he thought that he "He will be here again to-day," Amelia of all men in the world should be the per- thought. "He is the greatest and best of son upon whom the care of this marriage men." And the fact is, that George thought had fallen. But though indeed the conduct- he was one of the generousest creatures ing of this negotiation was about as painful alive: and that he was making a tremena task as could be set to him, yet when he dous sacrifice in marrying this young creahad a duty to perform, Captain Dobbin was ture. accustomed to go through it without many While she and Osborne were having their words, or much hesitation; and, having made delightful tete-a-tete above stairs, old Mrs. up his mind completely, that if Miss Sedley Sedley and Captain Dobbin were converswas balked of her husband she would die of ing below upon the state of affairs, and the the disappointment, he was determined to chances and future arrangements of the use all his best endeavors to keep her alive. young people. Mrs. Sedley having brought I forbear to enter into minute particulars the two lovers together, and left them em of the interview between George and Amne- bracing each other with all their might, like lia, when the former was brought back to a true woman, was of opinion that no power the feet (or should we venture to say the on earth would induce Mr. Sedley to conarms?) of his young mistress by the in- sent to the match between his daughterand tervention of his fiiend, honest William. the son of a man who had so shamefully, A much harder heart than Geolge's would wickedly, and monstrously treated him. have melted at the sight of that sweet face, And she told a long story about happier so sadly ravaged by grief and despair, and at days and their earlier splendors, when Osthe simple, tender accents in which she told borne lived in a very humble way in the her little broken-hearted story: but as she New Road, and his wife was too glad to redid not faint when her mother, trembling, ceive some of Jos's little baby things, with brought Osborne to her; and as she only gave which Mrs. Sedley accommodated her at relief to her overcharged grief, by laying the birth of one of Osborne's own children. her head on her lover's shoulder, and there The fiendish ingratitude of that man, she weeping for a while the most tender, co- was sure, had broken Mr. S.'s heart: and pious, and refreshing tears-old Mrs. Sed- as for a marriage, he would never, never, ley, too, greatly relieved, thought it was best never, never consent. to leave the young persons to themselves; "They must run away together, ma'am," and so quitted Emmy crying over George's Dobbin said, laughing, "and follow the exhand, and kissing it humbly, as if it were ample of Captain Rawdon Crawley, and her supreme chief and master, and as if she Miss Emmy's friend, the little governess." were quite a guilty and unworthy person Was it possible? Well, she never! Mrs. needing every iavor and grace fiom him. Sedley was all excitement about this news. This prostration, and sweet, unrepining She wished that Blenkinsop were here to obedience, exquisitely touched and flattered hear it: Blenkinsop always mistrusted that George Osborne. He saw a slave before Miss Sharp. What an escape Jos had had, him in that simple, yielding, faithful crea- and she described the already well-known ture, and his soul within hin thrilled secretly love-passages between Rebecca and the colsomehow at the knowledge of his power. lector of Boggley WVollalh. He would be generous-minded, sultan as he It was not, however, Mr. Sedley's wrafi 96 VANITY FAIR. which Dobbin feared, so much as that of the restoration and future fortune. My beloved other parent concerned, and he owned that reader has, no doubt, in the course of his he had a very considerable doubt and anxi- experience, been waylaid by many such a ety respecting the behavior of the black- luckless companion. He takes you into the:'Lowed old tyrant of a Russia merchant in corner; he has his bundle of papers out of Russell-square. He has forbidden the match his gaping coat pocket; and the tape off, and per'emptorily, Dobbin thought. He knew the string in his mouth, and the favorite letwhast a sava ge, determined man Osborne ters selected and laid before you; and who was, and how he stuck by his word. "The does not know the sad, eager, half-crazy only chance George has of reconcilement," look, which he fixes on you with his hopearguesd his friend, " is by distinguishing him- less eyes? self in the coming campaign. If he dies Changed into a man of this sort, Dobbin they both go together. If he fails in dis- found the once florid, jovial, and prosperous tinction-what then? He has some money John Sedley. His coat, that used to be so from his mother, I have heard-enough to glossy and trim, was white at the seams, purchase his majority-or he must sell out and the buttons showed the copper. His and go and dig in Canada, or rough it in a face had fallen in, and was unshorn; his cottage in the country." With such a part- friill and neckcloth hung limp under his bagner, Dobbin thought he would not mind Si- ging waistcoat. When he used to treat the beria-and, strange to say, this absuld and boys in old days, at a coffee-hduse, he would utterly imprudent young fellow never for a shout and laugh louder than any body there,: moment considered that the want of means and have all the waiters skipping round him; to keep a nice carriage and horses, and of it was quite painful to see how humble and an income which should enable its possess- civil he was to John of the Tapioca, a blearors to entertain their fiiends genteelly, ought eyed, old attendant, in dingy stockings and to operate as bars to the union of George cracked pumps, whose business it was to and Miss Sedley. serve glasses of wafers and bumpers of ink It was these weighty considerations which in pewter, and slices of paper to the firemade him think, too, that the marriage quenters of this dreary house of entertainshould take place as quickly as possible. ment, where nothing else seemed to be conWas he anxious himself, I wonder, to have sumed. As for William Dobbin, whom he it over?-as people, when death has occur- had tipped repeatedly in his youth, and who red, like to press forward the funeral, or had been the old gentleman's butt on a thouwhen a parting is resolved upon, hasten it. sand occasions, old Sedley gave his hand to It is certain that Mr. Dobbin, having taken him in a very hesitating, humble manner, the matter in hand, was most extraordinarily now, and called him "' Sir." A feeling of eager in the conduct of it. He urged on shame and remorse took possession ofl.\VilGeorge the necessity of immediate action: liam Dobbin as the broken old man so rehe showed the chances of reconciliation with ceived and addressed him, as if he himself his father, whicli a favorable mention of his had been somehow guilty of the misfortunes name in the Gazette must bring about. If which had brought Sedley so low. need were, he would go himself and brave "I am very glad to see you, Captain Dobboth the fathers in the business. At all bin, sir," says he, after a skulking lookl or events, he besought George to go through two at his visitor (whose lanky figure and with it before the orders came, which every military appearance caused some excitement body expected, for the departure of the reg- likewise to twinkle in the blear eyes of the inment from England on foreign service. waiter in the cracked dancing pumps, and Bent upon these hymeneal projects, and awakened the old lady in black, who dozed with the applause and consent of Mrs. Sed- among the mouldy old coffee cups in the ley, who did not care to break the matter bar). "How is the worthy alderman, and personally to her husband, Mr. Dobbin went my lady, your excellent mother, sir?' He to seek John Sedley at his house of call in looked round at the waiter as he said, " My the City, the Tapioca Coffee-house, where, lady," as much as to say, " IHark ye, John, since his own offices were shut up, and fate I have fiiends still, and persons of rank and had overtaken him, the poor, broken-down reputation, too." " Are you come to do any old gentleman used to betake himself daily, thing in my way, sir? My young friends and write letters and receive them, and tie Dale and Spiggot do all my business for me them up into mysterious bundles, several of now, until my new offices are ready; for which he carried in the flaps of his coat. I I'm only here temporarily, you know, cap don't know any thing more dismal than that tain. What can we do for you, sir? Will business, and bustle, and mystery of a ruined you like to take any thing?" man: those letters friom the wealthy which Dobbin, with a great deal of hesitation and he shows you: those worn, greasy docu- stuttering, protested that he was not in the ments, promising support, and offering con- least hungry or thirsty; that he had no dolence, which he places wistfully before business to transact; that he only came to vou, and on which he builds his hopes of ask if Mr. Sedley was well, and to shake I'j~j i18'~i I1 j 1 ItiIII j., tI i l! II',jl;/ii i~i. ij j I t;liiri itii' til-lt' /ii' S iiE DL Y A T FII (P IIlh)llll MR SED lEY AT~ ifii TEE i~ COFFE.EoBE A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 97 nands with an old friend; and, he added, Dobbin said, rather alarmed at the fury of with a desperate perversion of truth, "My the old man, the veins of whose forehead mother is very well-that is, she's been very began to swell, and who sate drumming his unwell, and is only waiting for the first fine papers with his clenched fist. " We are day to go out and call upon Mrs. Sedley. going to hunt him out, sir-the duke's in How is Mrs. Sedley, sir? I hope she's Belgium already, and we expect marching quite well." And here he paused, reflect- orders every day." ing on his own consummate hypocrisy; for "Give him no quarter. Bring back the the day was as fine, and the sunshine as villain's head, sir. Shoot the coward down, bright as it ever is in Coffin Court, where sir," Sedley roared. "' I'd enlist myself, by the Tapioca Coffee-house is situated; and -—; but I'm a broken old man-:-Lruined by Mr. Dobbin remembered that he had seen that damned scoundrel-L-and by a parcel of Mrs. Sedley himself only an hour before, swindling thieves in this country whom I having driven Osborne down to Fulham in made, sir, and who are rolling in their carhis gig, and left him there tete-d-tete with riages now," he added, with a break in his Miss Amelia. voice. "My wife will be very happy to see her Dobbin was not a little affected by the ladyship," Sedley replied, pulling out his sight of this once kind old friend, crazed papers. " I've a very kind letter here from almost with misfortune and raving with your father, sir, and beg my respectful com- senile anger. Pity the fallen gentleman: pliments to him. Lady D. will find us in you to whom money and fair repute are the rather a smaller house than we were accus- chiefest good; and so, surely, are they in tomed to receive our friends in; but it's snug, Vanity Fair. and the change of air does good to my daugh- "Yes," he continued, "there are some ter, who was suffering in town r'ather-you vipers that you warm, and they sting you remember little Emnmy, sir?-yes, suffering afterward. There are some beggars that a good deal." The old gentleman's eyes you put on horseback, and they're the first were wandering as he spoke,,and he was o ride you down. You know whom I mean, thinking of something else, as he sate thrum- William Dobbin, my boy. I mean a purseming on his papers and fumbling at the worn proud villain in Russell-square, whom I red tape. knew without a shilling, and whom I pray "You're a military man," he went on; and hope to see a beggar as he was when I' I ask you, Bill Dobbin, could any man ever befriiended him." have speculated upon the return of that "1 have heard something of this, sir, from Corsican scoundrel fiom Elba? When the my fiiend George," Dobbin said, anxious to allied sovereigns were here last year, and come to his point. " The quarrel between we gave'emr that dinner in the city, sir, and you and his father has cut him up a great we saw the Temple of Concord, and the deal, sir. Indeed I'm the bearer of a mesfireworks, and the Chinese bridge in St. sage from him." James's Park, could any sensible man sup- "0, that's your errand, is it?" cried the pose that peace wasn't really concluded, after old man, jumping up. " What! perhaps we'd actually sung Te Deum for it, sir? I he condoles with me, does he? Very kind ask you, Williaml, could I suppose that the of him, the stiff-backed prig with his dandiEmperor of Austria was a d-d traitor-a fled airs and West-end swagger. He's traitor, and nothing more? I don't mince hankering about my house, is he still? If words a double-faced infernal traitor and my son had the courage of a man, he'd shoot schemer, who meant to hatre his son-in-law him. He's as big a villain as his father. I back all along. And I say that the escape won't have his name mentioned in my house. of Boney from Elba was a damned imposition I curse the day that ever I let him into it; and plot, sir, in which half the powers of and I'd rather see my daughter dead at my urope were concerned, to bring the funds feet than married to him." down, and to ruin this country. That's why "His father's harshness is not George's I'm here, William. That's why my name's fault, sir. Y our daughter's love for himn is. in the Gazette. Why, sir? because I trusted as much your doing as his. Who are you) the Emperor of Russia and the Prince Re- that you are to play with two young people's gent. Look here. Look at my papers. affections and break their hearts at your Look what the funds were on the 1st of will?" March-what the French fives were when 4 "Recollect it's not his father that breaks; I bought for the account. And what they're the match off," old Sedley cried out. " It's. at now. There was collusion, sir, or that I that forbid it. That family and mine are villain never would have escaped. Where separated forever. I'm fallen low, but not was the English Commissioner who allowed so low as that: no, no. An'd so you may him to get away? He ought to be shot, tell the whole race-son, and father, and. sir —brought to a court-martial, and shot, by sisters, and all." jove." "It's my belief, sir, that you have not the We're going to hunt Boney out, sir," power or the right to separate those two," 0 98 VANITY FAIR. Dobbin answered in a low voice; " and that in the West Indies), and the girls had made if you don't give your daughter your consent, the most cordial advances to her, which the it will be her duty to marry without it. heiress had received with great good humor. There's no reason she should die or live An orphan in her position-with her money miserably because you are wrong-headed. -so interesting! the Misses Osborne said. To my thinking she's just as much married They were full of their new friend when as if the bans had been read in all the they returned from the Hulker ball to Miss churches in London. And what better an- Wirt, their companion: they had made swer can there be to Osborne's charges arrangements for continually meeting, and against you, as charges there are, than that had the carriage and drove to see her the his son claims to enter your family and very next day. Mrs. Haggistoun, Colonel marry your daughter?" Haggistoun's widow, a relation of Lord BinA light of something like satisfaction kie, and always talking of him, struck the seemed to break over old Sedley as this dear unsophisticated girls as rather haughty, point was put to him: but he still persisted and too much inclined to talk about her that with his consent the marriage between great relations: but Rhoda was every thing AmBlia and George should never take place. they could wish-the frankest, kindest, most "We must do it without," Dobbin said, agreeable creature-wanting a little polish, smiling, and told Mr. Sedley, as he had but so good-natured. The girls Christiantold Mrs. Sedley on the day before, the story named each other at once. of Rebecca's elopement with Captain Craw- "You should have seen her dress for ley. It evidently amused the old gentle- court, Emmy," Osborne cried, laughing. man. "kYou're terrible fellows, you cap- " She came to my sisters to show it off, tains," said he, tying up his papers; and before she was presented in state by my his face wore something like a smile upon Lady Binkie, the Haggistouns' kinswoman. it, to the astonishment of the blear-eyed She's related to every one, that Haggiswaiter, who now entered, and had never toun. Her diamonds blazed out like Vauxseen such an expression upon Sedley's hall on the night we were there. (Do you countenance since he had used the dismal remember Vauxhall, Emmy, and Jos singcoffee-house. ing to his dealrest diddle-diddle-darling?) The idea of hitting his enemy Osborne Diamonds and mahogany, my dear! think such a blow soothed, perhaps, the old gentle- what an advantageous contrast-and the man: and, their colloquy presently ending, white feathers in her hair-I mean in her he and Dobbin parted pretty good friends. wool. She had ear-rings like chandeliers; you might have lighted'em up, by Jove" My sisters say she has diamonds as big and a yellow satin train that streeled after as pigeons' eggs," George said laughing. her like the tail of a comet." "How they must set off her complexion! a"How old is she?" asked Emmy, to A perfect illumination it must be when her whom George was rattling away regarding jewels are on her neck. Her jet-black hair this dark paragon, on the morning of their is as curly as Sambo's. I dare say she re-union-rattling away as no other man in wore a nose-ring when she went to court; the world surely could. and with a plume of feathers in her top- " Why, the Black Princess, though she knot she would look a perfect Belle Sau- has only just left school, must be two or vage." three and twenty. And you should see the George, in conversation with Amelia, was hand she writes! Mrs. Colonel Haggistoun rallying the appearance of a young lady of usually writes her letters, but in a moment whom his father and sisters had lately made of confidence, she put pen' to paper for my the acquaintance, and who was an object sisters; she spelled satin satting, and Saint of vast respect to the Russell-square family. James's Saint Jams." She was reported to have I don't know "Why, surely it must be Miss Swartz, how many plantations in the West Indies; a the parlor boarder," Emmy said, rememdeal of money in the funds; three stars to bering that good-natured young mulatto girl her name in the East India stockholders' who had been so hysterically affected when list. She had a'mansion in Surrey, and a Amelia left Miss Pinkerton's academy. house in Portland-place. The name of the "The very name," George said. "Her rich West India heiress had been men- father was a German Jew-a slave-owner tioned with applause in the Morning Post. they say-connected with the Cannibal Mrs. Haggistoun, Colonel Haggistoun's wid- Islands in some way or other. He died ow, her relative, " chaperoned" her, and last year, and Miss Pinkerton has finished kept her house. She was just from school, her education. She can play two pieces on where she had completed her education, the piano; she knows three songs; she can and George and his sisters had met her at write when Mrs. Haggistoun is by to spell an evening party at old Hulker's house, for her; and Jane and Maria already have Devonshire-place (Hulker, Bullock, & Co. got to love her as a sister." were long the correspondents of her house "I wish they would have loved me," said t0'fl i IInOc) ~gI!AV'IQ 7, HOAd aOISTV. 7 IT 7,3,L{VMS ISSEl -f~~~~~~L —-;; —------- ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ - - --------- ".\ \ /i/ _________ // / i i.d1. i ~i i i I I' I ii~~~~~~~~';!,~:,,'il~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~i ~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ill~~ilj jl'/-L i"'~li II t11l!lltII ~ i~ I A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 99 Erminy, wistfully. " They were always very CHAPTER XX1. cold to me." " My dear child, they would have loved A QUARREL ABOUT AN HEIRESS. you if you had had two hundred thousand LOVE may be felt for any young lady enpounds," George replied. "That is the dowed with such qualities as 5Miss Swartz way in which they have been brought up. possessed; and a great dream of ambition Ours is a ready-money society. We live entered into old Mr. Osborne's soul, which among bankers and city big-wigs, and be she was to realize. He encouraged, with hanged to them, and every man, as he the utmost enthusiasm and friendliness, his talks to you, is jingling his guineas in his daughters' amiable attachment to the young pocket. There's that jackass, Fred. Bull- heiress, and protested that it gave him the ock, is going to.marry Maria-there's Gold- sincerest pleasure, as a father, to see the more, the East India Director, there's Dip- love of his girls so well disposed. ley, in the, tallow trade-our trade," George " You won't find," he would say to Miss said, with an uneasy laugh and a blush. Rhoda, "that splendor and rank to which "4 Curse the whole pack of moneyrgrubbisg you are accustomed at the West End, my vulgarians! I fall asleep at their great heavy dear Miss, at our humble mansion in Rusdinners. I feel ashamed in my father's sell-square. My daughters are plain, disingreat stupid parties. I've been accustomed terested girls, but their hearts are in the to live with gentlemen, and men of the right place, and they've conceived an attachworld and fashion, Emmy,;not With a parcel ment for you which does them honor-I of turtle-fed tradesmen. Dear, little woman, say, which does thenl honor. I'm a plain, you are the only person of our set who ever simple, humble British merchant-an honlooked, or thought, or spoke like a lady: and est one, as my respected friends Hulker & you do it because you're an angel, and can't Bullock will vouch, who were the correhelp it. Don't remonstrate. You are the spondents of your late lamented father. only lady. Did'nt Miss Crawley remark it, You'll find us a united, simple, happy, and, who has lived in the best company in Eu- I think I may say, respected family-a plain tope? And as for Crawley, of the Life table, a plain people, but a warm welcome, Guards, hang it, he's a fine fellow; and my dear Miss Rhoda-Rhoda, let me say, I like him for marrying the girl he had for my heart warms to you, it does really. chosen." I'm a frank man, and I like you. A glass Amelia admired Mr. Crawley very much, of champagne! Hicks, champagne to Miss too, for this; and trusted Rebecca would be Swartz." happy with him, and hoped (with a laugh) There is little doubt that old Osborne beJos would be consoled. And so the pair lieved all he said, and that the girls were went on prattling, as in quite early days. quite earnest in their protestations of affecAmelia's confidence being perfectly restored tion for Miss Swartz. People in Vanity to her, though she expressed a great deal of Fair fasten on to rich folks quite naturally. pretty jealousy about Miss Swartz, and pro- If the simplest people are disposed to look fessed to be dreadfully frightened-like a not a little kindly on great prosperity (for I hypocrite as she was-lest George should defy any member of the British public to say forget her for the heiress and her money that the notion of wealth has not something and her estates in St. Kitts. But the fact awful and pleasing to him; and you, if you is, she was a great deal too happy to have are told that the man next you at dinner has fears, or doubts, or misgivings of any sort: got half a million, not to look at him with a and having George at her side again, was certain interest); if the simple look benevonot afraid of any heiress or beauty, or, in- lently on money, how much more do your deed, of any sort of danger. old worldlings regard it! Their affections When Captain Dobbin came back in the rush out to meet and welcome money. afternoon to these people-which he did Their kind sentiments awaken spontaneouswith a great deal of sympathy for them-it ly toward the interesting possessors of it. I did his heart good to see how Amelia had know some respectable people who don't grown young again-how she laughed, and consider themselves at liberty to indulge in chirped, and sang familiar old songs at the friendship for any individual who has not a piano, which were only interrupted by the certain competenlcy, or place in society. bell from without proclaiming Mr. Sedley's They give aloose to their feelings on proper return from the city, before whom George occasions. And the proof is, that the major received a signal to retreat. part of the Osborne family, who had not, in Beyond the first smile of recognition-and fifteen years, been able to get up a hearty even that was an hypocrisy, for she thought regard for Amelia Sedley, became as fond his arrival rather provoking-Miss Sedley of Miss Swartz, in the course of a single did not once notice Dobbin during his visit. evening, as the vAost romantic advocate of But he was content, so that he saw her friendship at first-sight could desire. happy; and thankful to heve been the means What a match for George she'd be (the of making her so. sister and Miss WirtagreedY, and how much 100 VANITY FAIR. better than that insiga ificant little Amelia! butler to draw a cork, or his clerk to write a Such a dashing young fellow as he is, with letter. his good looks, rank, and accomplishments, This imperative hint disturbed George a would be the very husband for her. Visions good deal. He was in the very first enthuof balls in Portland Place, presentations at siasm and delight of his second courtship of court, and introductions to half the peerage, Amelia, which was inexpressibly sweet to filled the minds of the young ladies; who him. The contrast of her manners and talked of nothing but George and his grand appearance with those of the heiress, made acquaintances to their beloved new friend. the idea of a union with the latter appear Old Osborne thought she would be a great doubly ludicrous and odious. Carriages and match, too, for his son. He should leave opera-boxes, thought he; fancy being seen the army; he should go into parliament; he in them by the side of such a mahogany should cut a figure in the fashion and in the charmer as that! Add to all, that the junior state. His blood boiled with honest British Osborne was quite as obstinate as the senior: exultation, as he saw the name of Osborne when he wanted a thing, quite as firm in his ennobled in the person of his son, and thought resolution'to get it; and quite as violent when that he might be the progenitor of a glorious angered, as his father in his most stern moline of baronets. He worked in the city ments. and on'Change, until he knew every thing On the first day when his father formally relating to the fortune of the heiress, how gave him the hint that he was to place his her money was placed, and where her estates affections at Migs Swartz's feet, George lay. Young Fred. Bullock, one of his chief temporized with the old gentleman. "You informants, would have liked to make a bid should have thought of the matter sooner for her himself (it was so the young banker sir," he said. "i It can't be done now, whet expressed it), only he was booked to Maria we're expecting every day to go on foreigyr Osborne. But not being able to secure her service. Wait till my return, if I do reas a wife, the disinterested Fred. quite ap- turn;" and then he represented, that the proved of her as a sister-in-law. "Let time when the regiment was daily expect George cut in directly and win her," was his ing to quit England, was exceedingly ill advice. (' Strike while the iron's hot, you chosen: that the few days a week during know-while she's fresh to the town; in a which they were still to rermain at home, few weeks some d fellow from the West must be devoted to business and not to loveEnd will come in with a title and a rotten making: time enough for that when he came rent-roll and cut all us city men out, as Lord home with his majority; "' for, I promise Fitzrufus did last year with Miss Grogram, you," said he, with a satisfied air, " that who was actually engaged to Podder, of one way or other you shall read the name Podder & Brown's. The sooner it is done of George Osborne in the Gazette." the better, Mr. Osborne; them's my senti- The father's reply to this was founded ments," the wag said; though, when Os- upon the information which he Lad got in borne had left the bank parlor, Mr. Bullock the city: that the West End chaps would remembered Amelia, and what a pretty girl infallibly catch hold of the heiress if any she was, and how attached to George Os- delay took place: that if he didn't marry borne; and he gave up at least ten seconds Miss S., he might at least have an engageof his valuable time to regretting the mis- ment in writing, to come into effect when fortune which had befallen that unlucky he retulrned to England; and that a man young woman. who could get ten thousand a year by stayWhile thus George Osborne's good feel- ing at home, was a fool to risk his life ings, and his good friend and genius, Dobbin, abroad. were carrying back the truant to Amelia's "So that you would have. me shown up feet, George's parent and sisters were ar- as a coward, sir, and our name dishonored for ranging this splendid match for him, which the sake of Miss Swartz's money," George they never dreamed he would resist. interposed. When the elder Osborne gave what he This remark staggered the old gentleman; called'" a hint," there was no possibility for but as he had to reply to it, and as his mind the most obtuse to mistake his meaning. was nevertheless made up, he said, "You IHe called kicking a footnman down stairs, a will dine here to-morrow, sir, and every day hint to the latter to leave his service. 5With Miss Swartz comes, you will be here to pay his usual firankness and delicacy, he told your respects to her. If you want for mo~Mrs. Haggistoun that he would give her a ney, call upon Mr. Chopper." Thus a new check for ten thousand pounds on the day obstacle was in George's way, to interfere his son was married to her ward; and called with his plans regarding Amelia; and about that proposal a hint, and considered it a very which he and Dobbin had more than one dexterous piece of diplomacy. He gave confidential consultation. His friend's opinGeorge finally such another hint regarding ion respecting the line of conduct which he the heiress;'and ordered him to marry her ought to pursue, we know already. And es out of hand, as he would have ordered his for Osborne, when he was once bent on a A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 101 tJling, a fresh obstacle or two only rendered mor). He had then been to pass three him the more resolute. hours with Amelia, his dear little Amelia, at FIulham; and he came home to find his The dark object of the conspiracy into sisters spread in starched muslin in the which tile chiefs of the Osborne family had drawing-room, the dowagers cackling in the entered, was quite ignorant of all their plans back-ground, and honest Swartz in her faregarding her (which, strange to say, her vorite amiber-colored satin, with turquoise-friend and chaperon did not divulge), and, bracelets, countless rings, flowers, feathers, taking all the young ladies' flattery for gen- and all sorts of tags and gimcracks, about as uine sentiment, and being, as we have before elegantly decorated as a she chimney-sweep had occasion to show, of a very warm and on May day. impetuous nature, responded to their affec- The girls, after vain attempts to engage tion with quite a tropical ardor. And if the him in conversation, talked about fashions truth may be told, I dare say that she too and the last drawing-room until he was perhad some selfish attraction in the Russell- fectly sick of their chatter. He contrasted square house; and in a word, thought George their behavior with little Emmy's —their Osborne a very nice youngman. His whiskers shrill cracked voices with her tender ringing nad made an impression upon her, on the tones; their attitudes and.their elbows and very first night she beheld them at the ball their starch, with her humble, soft moveat Messrs. Hulkers; and, as we know, she ments and modest graces. Poor Swartz was not the first woman who had been was seated in a place where Emmy had rharmed by them. George had an air at been accustomed to sit. Her bejeweled once swaggering and melancholy, languid hands lay sprawling in her amber satin lap. and fierce. He looked like a man who had Her tags and ear-rings twinkled, and her passions, secrets, and private harrowing big eyes rolled about. She was doing nothgriefs and adventures. His voice was rich ing with perfect contentment, and thinking and deep. He would say it was a warm herself charming. Any thing so becoming evening, or ask his partner to take an ice, as the satin the sisters had never seen. with a tone as sad and confidential as if he "Da-mme," George said, to a confidentia were breaking her mother's death to her, friend, t" she looked like a China doll, which or preluding a declaration of love. He has nothing to do all day but to grin and wag trampled over all the young bucks of his its head. By Jove, Will., it was all I could f-ather's circle, and was the hero among those do to prevent myself from throwing the sofa third-rate men. Some few sneered at him cushion at her." He restrained that exhiand hated him. Some, like Dobbin, fanat- bition of sentiment, however. ically admired him. And his whiskers had The sisters began to play the Battle of begun to do their work, and to curl them- Prague. " Stop that d — thing," George selves round the affections of Miss Swartz. howled out in a fury from the sofa. "It Whenever there was a chance of meet- makes me mad. You play us something, ing him in Russell-square, that simple and Miss Swartz, do. Sing something, any thing good-natured young woman was quite in a but the Battle of Prague." flurry to see her dear Miss Osbornes. She " Shall I sing Blue Eyed Mary, or the went to great expenses in new gowns, and air from the Cabinet?" Miss Swartz asked. bracelets, and bonnets, and in prodigious "That sweet thing from the Cabinet," feathers. She adorned her person with her the sisters said. utmost skill to please the conqueror, and ex- "\We've had that," replied the misanhibited all her simple accomplishments to thrope on the sofa. win his favor. The girls would ask her, "I can sing Fluvy du Tajy," Swartz said, with the greatest gravity, for a little music, in a meek voice, "if I had the words." It and she would sing her three songs and was the last of the worthy young woman's play her two little pieces as often as ever collection. they asked, and with an always increasing "O, Fleuve du Tage," Miss Maria cried; pleasure to herself. During these delecta- "we have the song," and went to fetch the ble entertainments, Miss Wirt and the chape- book in which it was. ron sate by, and conned over the peerage, Now it happened that this song, then in and talked about the nobility. the height of the fashion, had been given to The day after George had his hint from the young ladies by a young friend of theirs, his father, and a short time before the hour whose name was on the title, and Miss of dinner, he was lolling upon a sofa in the Swartz, having concluded the ditty with drawing-room in a very becoming and per- George's applause (for he remembered that fectly natural attitude of melancholy. rle it was a favorite of Amelia's), was hoping had been, at his father's request, to Mr. for an encore perhaps, and fiddling with the Chopper in the city (the old gentleman, leaves of the music, when her eye fell upon though he gave great sums to h~i' sen, would the title, and she saw "'Amelia Sedley" never specify any fixed allowance for him, written in the corner. and rewarded him only as he was in hu- "6Lor!" cried Miss Swartz, spinning swift 102 VANITY FAIR. y round on the music-stool, "is it my Ame- drank much. Hle flounderec in his conlia? Amelia that was at Miss P.'s at Hamn- versation with the ladies, his neighbors, mersmith? I know it is. It's her, and- George's coolness only rendering him more tell me about her-where is she?" angry. It made him half mad to see the "Don't mention her," Miss Maria Os- calm way in which George, flapping his borne said hastily. "Her family has dis- napkin, and with a swaggering bow, opened graced itself. Herfather cheated'papa, and the door for the ladies to leave the room; as for her, she is never to be mentioned and filling himself a glass of wine, smacked here." This was Miss Maria's return for it, and looked his father full in the face, as George's rudeness about the Battle of if to say, " Gentleman of the Guard, fire Prague. first." The old man also took a supply of I" Are you a friend of Amelia's?" George ammunition, but his decanter clinked against said, bouncing up.' "God bless you for it, the glass as he tried to fill it. Miss Swartz. Don't believe what the girls After giving a great heave, and with a say. She's not to blame, at any rate. She's purple, choking face, he then began. " How the best —" dare you, sir, mention that person's name " You know you're not to speak about before Miss Swartz to-day, in my drawingher, George," cried Jane. " Papa forbids room? I ask you, sir, how dare you do it?' it."." Stop, sir," says George,'" don't say dare, "Who's to prevent me?" George cried sir. Dare isn't a word to be used to a capout. "I will speak of her. I say she's the tain in the British army." best, the kindest, the gentlest, the sweetest " I shall say what I like to my son, sir. I girl in England; and that, bankrupt or no, can cut him off with a shilling, if I like. I my sisters are not fit to hold candles to her. can make him a beggar, if I like. I will say If you like her, go and see her, Miss Swartz; what I like," the elder said. she wants friends now; and I say, God bless "I'm a gentleman, though I am your son, every body who befriends her. Any body sir," George answered, haughtily. "Any who speaks kindly of her is my friend;, any communications which you have to make to body who speaks against her is my enemy. me, or any orders which you may please to Thank you, Miss Swartz;" and he went up give, I beg may be couched in that kind of and wrung her hand. language which I am accustomed to hear." " George! George!" one of the sisters Whenever the lad assumed his haughty cried imploringly. manner, it always created either great awe,"I say," George said fiercely, "I thank or great irritation in the parent. Old Oseelry body who loves Amelia Sed-" He borne stood in secret terror of his son as a stopped. Old Osborne was in the room with better gentleman than himself; and perhaps a face livid with rage, and eyes like hot my readers may have remarked in their excoals. perience of this Vanity Fair of ours, that Though George had stopped in his sen- there is no character which a low-minded tence, yet, his blood being up, he was not to man so much mistrusts, as that of a gentlebe cowed by all the generations of Osborne; man. rallying instantly, he replied to the bullying "My father didn't give me the education look of his father, with another so indicative you have had, nor the advantages you have of resolution and defiance, that the elder had, nor the money you have had. If I man quailed in his turn, and looked away. had kept the company some folks have had He felt that the tussle was coming.'" Mrs. through my means, perhaps my son wouldn't Haggistoun, let me take you down to din- have any reason to brag, sir, of his superiorner," he said. "Give your arm to Miss ity and West End airs" (these words were Swartz, George," and they marched. uttered inrthe elder Osborne's most sarcas"' Miss Swartz, I love Amelia, and we've tic tones). " But it wasn't considered the been engaged almost all our lives," Osborne part of a gentleman, in my time, for a man said to his partner; and during all the din- to insult his father. If I'd done any such ner, George rattled on with a volubility thing, mine would have kicked me down which surprised himself, and made his father stairs, sir." doubly nervous, for the fight which was to. "I never insulted you, sir. I said, I begtake place as soon as the ladies were gone. ged you to remember your son was a gentleThe difference between the pair was, that man as well as yourself. I know very welt while the father was violent and a bully, the that you give me plenty of money," sail son had thrice the nerve and courage of the George (fingering a bundle of notes which parent, and could not merely make an at- he had got in the morning from Mr. Choptack, but resist it; and finding that the mo- per). "You tell it me often enough, sir. ment was now come when the contest be- There's no fear of my forgetting it." tween him and his father was to be decided, " I wish you'd remember other things as he took his dinner with perfect coolness and well, sir." the sire answered. "T wish appetite before the engagement began. Old you'd remember, that in this house-so long Osborne, on the contrary, was nervous, and as you choose to honor it with your companrt A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 103 captain-I'm the master, and that name, "I'll marry her to-morrow," he said, with and that —that-that you-that —I say-" an oath. "I love her more every day, Dob i" That what, sir?" George asked, with bin." scarcely a sneer, filling another glass of claret. "-!" burst out his father, with a screaming oath —"that the name of those CHAPTER XXII. S.edleys never be mentioned here, sir-not A MARRIAGE AND fART OF A HONEYMOON. one of the whole dam'ned lot of'em, sir." "It wasn't I, sir, that introduced Miss ENEMIES the most obstinate and courageSedley's name. It was my sisters who ous can't hold out against starvation: so the spoke ill of her to Miss Swartz; and, by elder Osborne felt himself pretty easy about Jove, I'll defend her wherever I go. No- his adversary in the encounter we have just body shall speak lightly of that name in my described; and as soon as George's supplies presence. Our family has done her quite fell short, confidently expected his uncondi-, enough injury already, I think, and may tional submission. It was unlucky, to be sure, leave off reviling her, now she's down. I'll that the lad should have secured a stock of shoot any man but you who says a word provisions on the very day when the first enagainst her." counter took place; but this relief was only "'Go on, sir, go on," the old gentleman temporary, old Osborne thought, and would said, his eyes starting out of his head. but delay George's surrender. No com"' Go on about what, sir? About the way munication passed between father and son for in which we've treated that angel of a girl? some days. The former was sulky at this Who told me to love her? It was your silence, but not disquieted; for, as he said, doing. I might have chosen elsewhere, and he knew where he could put the screw uplooked higher, perhaps, than your society: on George, and only waited the result of that but I obeyed you. And now, that her heart's operation. He told the sisters the upshot of mine, you give me orders to fling it away, the dispute between them, but ordered them and punish her, kill her, perliaps-for the to take no notice of the matter, and welcome faults of other people. It's a shame, by George on his return as if nothing had hapHeavens," said George, working himself up pened. His cover was laid as usual every into passion and enthusiasm as he proceed- day, and perhaps the old gentleman rather ed, " to play at fast and loose with a young anxiously expected him; but he never came. girl's affections-and with such an angel as Some one inquired at the Slaughter's rethat-one so superior to the people among garding him, where it was said that he and whom she lived, that she might have excited his firiend Captain Dobbin had left town. envy, only she was so good and gentle, that One gusty, raw day at the end of Aprilit's a wonder any body dared to hate her. the rain whipping the pavement of that anIf I desert her, sir, do you suppose she for- cient street where the old Slaughter's coffeegets me?" house was once situated-George Osborne I ain't going to have any of this damned came into the coffee-room; looking very hagsentimental nonsense and humbug here, sir," gard and pale; although dressed rather the father cried out. "' There shall be no smartly in a blue coat and brass buttons, and beggar-marriages in my family. If you a neat buff waistcoat of the fashion of those choose to fling away eight thousand a year days. Here was his friend Captain D)obbin, which you may have for the asking, you may in blue and brass too, having abandoned the do it: but, by Jove, you take your pack and military frock and French-gray trowsers, walk out of this house, sir. WVill you do as which were the usual coverings of his lanky I tell you, once for all, sir, or will you not?" person. "Marry that mulatto woman?" George Dobbin had been in the coffee-room for an said, pulling up his shirt-collars. " I don't hour or more. He had tried all the papers, like the color, sir. Ask the black that sweeps butcould notread them. He had looked atthe opposite Fleet Market, sir. I'm not going clock many scores of times; and at the street, to marry a Hottentot Venus." where the rain was pattering down, and the Mr. Osborne pulled frantically at the cord people as they clinked by in pattens, left long by which he was accustomed to summon the reflections on the shining stones: he tattooed butler when he wanted wine-and, almost at the table: he bit his nails most completely black in the face, ordered that functionary and nearly to the quick (he was accustomed to call a coach for Captain Osborne. to ornament his great big hands in this way): he balanced the tea-spoon dexterously on the 1" I've done it," said George, coming into milk jug: upset it, &c., &c.; and in fact the Slaughter's an hour afterward, looking showed those signs of disquietude, and pracvery pale. ticed those desperate attempts at amusement, 1" What, my boy?" says Dobbin. which men are accustomed to employ when George told what had passed between his very anxious, and expectant, and perturbed father and himself. in mind. 104 VANITY FAIR. Some of his comrades, gentlemen who as they followed George and William into used the room, joked him about the splen- the church, that it was a "reg'lar shabby dor of his costume and his agitation of man- turn hout; and with scarce so much as a ner. One asked him if he was going to be breakfast or a wedding favor." married. Dobbin laughed, and said he "Here you are," said our old friend, would send his acquaintance (Major Wag- Jos Sedley, coming forward. " You're five staff, of the Engineers) a piece of cake, minutes late, George, my boy. What a day, when that event took place. At length eh? Demme, it's like the commencement Captain Osborne made his appearance, very of the rainy season in Bengal. But you'll smartly dressed, but very, pale and agitated, find my carriage is water-tight. Comrne as we have said. He wiped his pale face along, my mother and Emmy are in the with a large, yellow bandanna pocket-hand- vestry." kerchief that was prodigiously scented. He Jos Sedley was splendid. He was fatter shook hands with Dobbin, looked at the than ever. His shirt collars were higher; clock, and told John, the waiter, to bring his face was redder; his shirt-fiill flaunted him some curacoa. Of this cordial he swal- gorgeously out of his variegated waistcoat. lowed off a couple of glasses with nervous Varnished boots were not invented as yet; eagerness. His friend asked, with some in- but the Hessians on his beautiful legs shone terest, about his health. so, that they must have been the identical "Couldn't get a wink of sleep till day- pair in which the gentleman in the old piclight, Dob," said he. Infernal headache ture used to shave himself; and on his light and fever. Got up at nine. and went down green coat there bloomed a fine wedding to the Hummums for a bathl I say, Dob., I favor, like a great white, spreading magnofeel just as I did on the morning I went out lia. with Rocket at Quebec." In a word, George had thrown the great " So do I," William responded. " I was cast. He was going to be married. Hence a deuced deal more nervous than you were his pallor and nervousness-his sleepless that morning. You made a famous break- night and agitation in the morning.- I have fast, I remember. Eat something now." heard people who have gone through the "You're a good old fellow, Will. I'll same thing own to the same emotion. After drink your health, old boy, and farewell three or four ceremonies, you get accustomto-" ed to it, no doubt; but the first dip, every " No, no; two glasses are enough," Dob- body allows, is awful. bin interrupted him. "Here, take away The bride was dressed in a brown silk the liqueurs, John. Have some cayenne- pelisse (as Captain Dobbin has since inpepper with your fowl. Make haste though, formed me), and wore a straw bonnet with for it is time we were there." a pink ribbon: over the bonnet she had a It was about half-an-hour from twelve vail of white Chantilly lace, a gift fiom Mr. when this brief meeting and colloquy took Joseph Sedley, her brother. Captain Dobplace between the two captains. A coach, bin himself had asked leave to present her into which Captain Osborne's servant put with a gold chain and watch, which she his master's desk and dressing-case, had sported on this occasion; -and her mother been in waiting for some time; and into this gave. her her diamond brooch; almost the the two gentlemen hurried under an um- only trinket which was left to the old lady. brella, and the valet mounted on the box, As the service went on, Mrs. Sedley sat and cursing the rain and the dampness of the whimpered a great deal in a pew, consoled coachman who was steaming beside him. by the Irish maid-servant and Mrs. Clapp "We shall find a better trap than this at the from the lodgings. Old Osborne would not church-door," says he; " that's a comfort." be present. Jos acted for his father, giving And the carriage drove on, taking the road away the bride, while Captain Dobbin stepdown Piccadilly, where Apsley House and pod up as groom's-man to his friend George. St. George's Hospital wore red jackets still; There was nobody in the church besides where there were oil-lamps; where Achil- the officiating persons and the small marles was not yet born; nor the Pimlico arch riage party and their attendants. The two raised; nor the hideous equestrian monster valets sat aloof, superciliously. The rain which pervades it and the neighborhood; came rattling down on the windows. In the and so they drove down by Brompton to a intervals of the service you heard it, and the certain chapel near the Fulham road there. sobbing of old Mrs. Osborne in the pew. A chariot was in waiting with four horses; The parson's tones echoed sadly through likewise a coach of the kind called glass the empty walls. Osborne's "I will" was coaches. Only a very few idlers were col- sounded in very deep base. Emmy's re lected, on account of the dismal, dismal rain. sponse came fluttering up to her lips fiomn "Hangit!"saidGeorge,"Isaidonlyapair.?' her heart, but was scarcely heard by any'My master would have -four," said Mr. body except Captain Dobbin. Joseph Sedley's servant, who was in wait- When the service was completed, Jos ing; and he and Mr. Osborne's man agreed Sedley came forward and kissed his sister A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 105 the bride, for the first time for many months From one issue the notes of a piano, which -George's look of gloom had gone, and he a young lady in ringlets practices six hodurs seemed quite' proud and radiant. " It's daily, to the delight of the fellow-lodgers; your turn, William," says he, putting his at another, lovely Polly, the nursemaid, may hand fondly upon Dobbin's shoulder; and be seen dandling Master Omnium in her Dobbin went up and touched Amelia on the arms; while Jacob, his papa, is beheld eatcheek. ing prawns, and devouring the Times for Then they went into the vestry and sign- breakfast, at the window below. Yonder ed the register. "God bless you, old Dob- are the Misses Leery, who are looking out bin," George said, grasping him by the hand, for the young officers of the heavies, who with something very like moisture glistening are pretty sure to be pacing the cliff; or in his eyes. William replied only by nod- again, it is a city man, with a nautical turn, ding his head. IHis heart was too full to and a telescope, the size of a six-pounder,.say much. who has his instrument pointed seaward, "Write directly, and come down as soon so as to command every pleasure-boat, heras you can, you know," Osborne said. After ring-boat, or bathing-machine that comes to, Mrs. Sedley had taken an hysterical adieu or quits the shore, &c., &c. But have we of her daughter, the pair went off to the any leisure for a description of Brighton?carriage. "Get out of the way, you little for Brighton, a clean Naples with genteel devils," George cried to a small crowd of lazzaroni-for Brighton, that always looks damp urchins, that were hanging about the brisk, gay, and gaudy, like a harlequin's chapel-door. The rain drove into the bride jacket-for Brighton, which used to be seven and bridegroom's faces as they passed to hours' distant fiom London at the time of the chariot. The postillions' favors draggled our story; which is now only a hundred on their dripping jackets. The few children minutes off; and which may approach who made a dismal cheer, as the carriage,\splash- knows how much nearer, unless Joinville ing mud, drove away. comes and untimely bombards it? William Dobbin stood in the chulch-porch, " What a monstrous fine girl that is in the looking at it, a queer figure. The small crew lodgings over the milliner's," one of these of spectators jeered him. He was not think- three promenaders remarked to the other; ing about them or their laughter. "Gad, Crawley, did you see what a wink "Come home and have some tiffin, Dob- she gave me as I passed?" bin," a voice cried behind him; as a pudgy " Don't break her heart, Jos, you rascal," hand was laid on his shoulder, and the honest said another. " Don't trifle with her affecfellow's review was interrupted. But the tions, you Don Juan!" captain had no heart to go a feasting witlh "Get away," said Jos Sedley, quite Jos Sedley. He put the weeping old lady pleased, and leering up at the maid-servant and her attendants into the carriage along in question with a most killing ogle. Jos with Jos, and left them without any farther was even more splendid at Brighton than he words passing. This carriage, too, drove had been at his sister's marriage. He had away, and the urchins gave another sarcas- brilliant under-waistcoats, any one of which tical cheer. would have set up a moderate buck. He "Here, you little beggars," Dobbin said, sported a military fiock-coat, ornamented giving some sixpences among them, and then with frogs, knobs, black buttons, and meanwent off by himself through the rain. It dering embroidery. He had affected a milwas all over. They were married, and italy appearance and habits of late; and he happy, he prayed God. Never, since he was walked with his two friends, who were of a boy, had he felt so miserable and so lonely. that profession, clinking his boot-spurs, swagHe longed with a heart-sick yearning for the gering prodigiously, and shooting deathfirst few days to be over, that he might see glances at all the servant-girls who were her again. worthy to be slain. " What shall we do, boys, till the ladies Some ten day-safter the above ceremony, return?" the buck asked. The ladies were three young men of our acquaintance were out to Rottingdean in his carriage, on a enjoying that beautifill prospect of bow win- drive. "s Let's have a game at billiards," dows on the one side, and blue sea on the one of his friends, said-the tall one, with other, which Brighton affords to the traveler. lacquered mustaches. Sometimes it is toward the ocean —smiling "No, damme; no, captain," Jos replied, with countless dimples, speckled with white rather alarmed. "No billiards to-day, Crawsails, with a hundred bathing-machines kiss- ley, my boy; yesterday was enough." ing the skirt of his blue garment-that the'"You play very well," said Crawley, Londoner looks enraptured: sometimes, on laughing. "Don't he, Osborne? How the contrary, a lover of human nature rather well he'made that five stroke, eh?" than of prospects of any kind, it is toward " Famous," Osborne said. " Jos is a devil the bow windows that he turns, and that of a fellow at billiards, and at every thing swarm of human life which they exhibit. else, too. I wish there were any tiger 106 VANITY FAIR. hunting about here; we might go and kill a at the Ship Inn, enjoyed themselves there few before dinner. (There goes a fine girl! in great comfort and quietude, until Jos what an ancle, eh Jos?) Tell us that story presently joined them. Nor was he the about the tiger-hunt, and the way you did only companion they found here. As they for him in the jungle-it's a wonderful story were coming into the hotel from a sea-side that, Crawley." Here George Osborne walk one afternoon, on whom should they gave a yawn. "It's rather slow work," light but Rebecca and her husband? The said he, "down here; what shall we do?" recognition was immediate. Rebecca flew "Shall we go and look at some horses into the arms of her dearest friend. Crawthat Snaffier's just brought from Lewes ley and Osborne shook hands together corfair?" Crawley said. dially enough: and Becky, in the course of " Suppose we go and have some jellies at a very few hours, found means to make the Dutton's," said the rogue Jos, willing to kill latter forget that little unpleasant passage of two birds with one stone. "Devilish fine words which had happened between them. gal at Dutton's." " Do you remember the last time we met "Suppose we go and see the Lightning at Miss Crawley's, when I was so rude to come in, it's just about time?" George said. you, dear Captain Osborne? I thought you This advice prevailing over the stables and seemed careless about dear Amelia. It was the jelly, they turned toward the coach of- that made me angry: and so pert: and so fice to witness the Lightning's arrival. unkind: and so ungrateful. Do forgive me!" As they passed, they met the carriage- Rebecca said, and she held out her hand Jos Sedley's open carriage, with its magnifi- with so frank and winning a grace, that Oscent armorial bearings-that splendid con- borne could not but take it. By humbly veyance in which he used to drive about at and frankly acknowledging yourself to be in Cheltenham, majestic and solitary, with his the wrong, there is no knowing, my son, arms folded, and his hat cocked; or, more what good you may do. I knew once a genhappy, with ladies by his side. tleman, and very worthy practitioner in VanTwo were in the carriage now: one a ity Fair, who used to do little wrongs to his little person, with light hair, and dressed in neighbors on purpose, and in order to apolothe height of the fashion; the other in a gize for them in an open and manly way brown silk pelisse, and a straw bonnet with afterward-and what ensued? My friend pink ribbons, with a rosy, round, happy face, Crocky Doyle was liked every where, and that did you good to behold. She checked deemed to be rather impetuous-but the the carriage as it neared the three gentle- honestest fellow. Becky's humility passed men, after which exercise of authority she for sincerity with George Osborne. looked rather nervous, and then began to These two young couples had plenty of blush most absurdly. "We have had a de- tales to relate to each other. The marlightful drive, George," she said, "and-and riages of either were discussed; and their we're so glad to come back; and Joseph, prospects in life-canvassed with the greatdon't let him be late." est frankness and interest on both sides. " Don't be leading our husbands into mis- George's marriage was to be made known chief, Mr. Sedley, you wicked, wicked man to his father by his friend Captain Dobbin; you," Rebecca said, shaking at Jos a pretty and young Osborne trembled rather for the little finger covered with the neatest French result of that communication. Miss Crawkid glove. " No billiards, no smoking, no ley, on whom all Rawdon's hopes depended, naughtiness!" still held out. Unable to make an entry I" My dear Mrs. Crawley-Ah now! upon into her house in Park Lane, her affectionmy honor!" was all Jos could ejaculate by ate nephew and niece had followed her to way of reply; but he managed to fall into a Brighton, where they had emissaries contolerable attitude, with his head lying on his tinually planted at her door. shoulder, grinning upward at his victim, with "I wish you could see some of Rawdon's one hand at his back, which he supported friends who are always about our door," on his cane, and the other hand (the one Rebecca said, laughing. "Did you ever see with the diamond ring) fumbling in his a dun, my dear; or a bailiff and his man? shirt-frill and among his under-waistcoats. Two of the abominable wretches watched As the carriage drove off, he kissed the dia- all last week at the green-grocer's opposite, mond hand to the fair ladies within. He and we could not get away until Sunday. wished all Cheltenham, all Chowringhee, all If aunty does not relent, what shall we do?" Calcutta, could see him in that position, Rawdon, with roars of laughter, related a waving his hand to such a beauty, and in dozen amusing anecdotes of his duns, and company with such a famous buck as Raw- Rebecca's adroit treatment of them. He don Crawley of the Guards. vowed, with a great oath, that there was no Our young bride and bridegroom had woman in Europe who could talk a creditor chosen Brighton as the place where they over as she could. Almost immediately would pass the first few days after their after their marriage, her practice had bemarriage. And having engaged apartments gun, and her husband found the immense A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. value of such a wife. They had credit in CHAPTER XXIII. plenty, but they had bills also in abundance, and lab'oored under a scarcity of ready money. CAPTAIN DOBBIN PROCEEDS ON HIS CANVASS Did these debt-difficulties affect Rawdon's WHAT is the secret mesmerism which good spirits? No. Every body in Vanity friendship possesses, and under the opeFair must have remarked how well those ration of which a person ordinarily sluggish, live who are comfortably and thoroughly in or cold, or timid, becomes wise, active, and debt: how they deny themselves nothing: resolute, in another's behalf? As Alexis, how jolly and easy they are in their minds. after a few passes from Dr. Elliotson, deRawdon and his wife had the very best spises pain, reads with the back of his head, apartments at the inn at Brighton; the land- sees miles off, looks into next week, and lord, as he brought in the first dish, bowed performs other wonders, of which, in his before them as to his greatest customers: own private, normal condition, he is quite and Rawdon abused the dinners and wine incapable; so you see, in the affairs of the with an audacity which no grandee in the world and under the magnetism of friendland could surpass. Long custom, a manly ship, the modest man become bold, the shy appearance, faultless boots and clothes, and confident, the lazy active, or the impetuous a happy fierceness of manner, will often help prudent and peaceful. What is it, on the a man as much as a great balance at the other hand, that makes the lawyer eschew banker's. his own cause, and call in his learned brother The two wedding parties met constantly as an adviser? And what causes the docin each other's apartments. After two or tor, when ailing, to send for his rival, and three nights the gentlemen, of an evening, not sit down and examine his own tongue in had a little piquet, as their wives sate and the chimney glass, or write his own prechatted apart. This pastime, and the ar- scription at his study table? I throw out rival of Jos Sedley, who made his appear- these queries for intelligent readers to anance in his grand open carriage, and who swer, who know, at once, how credulous played a fewgames at billiards with Captain we are, and how skeptical, how soft, and Crawley, replenished Rawdon's purse some- how obstinate, how firm for others, and how what, and gave him the benefit of that ready diffident about ourselves: meanwhile it is money for which the greatest spirits are certain that our friend Wutiam Dobbin, who sometimes at a stand-still. was personally of so complying a disposition, So the three gentlemen walked down to that if his parents had pressed him much, see the Lightning coach come in. Punctual it is probable that he would have stepped to the minute-the coach crowded inside and down into the kitchen and married the out, the guard blowing his accustomed tune cook, and who, to further his own interests, on the horn-the Lightning came tearing would have found the most insuperable diffidown the street, and pulled up at the coach- culty in walking across the street, found office. himself as busy and eager in the conduct of "Hullo! there's old Dobbin," George George Osborne's affairs, as the most selfish cried, quite delighted to see his old friend tactician could be in the pursuit of his own. perched on the roof; and whose promised While our friend George and his young visit to Brighton had been delayed until now. wife were enjoying the first blushing days "How are you, old fellow? Glad you're of the honeymoon at Brighton, honest WV'ilcome down. Emmy'll be delighted to see liam was left as George's plenipotentiary in yoe," Osborne said, shaking his comrade London, to transact all the business part of warmly by the hand as soon as his descent the marriage. His duty it was to call upon from the vehicle was effected-and then he old Sedley and his wife, and to keep the added, in a lower and agitated voice, "What's former in good humor; to draw Jos and his the news? Have you been in Russell- brother-in-law nearer together, so that Jos's square? What does the governor say? position and dignity, as collector of Boggly Tell me every thing." Wollah, might compensate for his father's Dobbin looked very pale and grave. "I've loss of station, and tend to reconcile old seen your father," said he. " How's Ame- Osborne to the alliance: and finally, to comlia-Mrs. George? I'll tell you all the news municate it to the latter in such a way as presently: but I've brought the great news should least irritate the old gentleman. of all: and that is_-" Now, before he faced the head of the "Out with it, old fellow," George said. Osborne house with the news which it was "We're ordered to Belgium. All the his duty to tell, Dobbin bethought him that army goes-Guards and all. Heavytop's it would be politic to make friends of the got the gout, and is mad at not being able to rest of the family, and, if possible, have the move. O'Dowd goes in command, and we ladies on his side. They can't be angry in embark from Chatham next week." their hearts, thought he. No woman ever This news of war could not but come was really angry at a romantic marriage. with a shock upon our lovers, and caused all A little crying out, and they must corne these gentlemer to look very serious. round to their brother; when the three of 'o8 VANITY FAIR. as wil. lay siege to old Mr. Osborne. So Dobbin said, now coming to the point. " It this Machiavellian captain of infantry cast was a very old attachment, and th - young about him for some happy means or strat- couple are as poor as church mice." agem by which he could gently and gradu- "(0, how delightful! 0, how rotnanally bring the Miss Osbornes to a knowledge tic!" Miss Osborne cried, as the captain of their brother's secret. said "old attachmept" and "poor." He'r By a little inquiry regarding his mother's sympathy encouraged him. engagements, he was pretty soon able to "The finest young fellow in the i'egifind out by whom of her ladyship's friends ment," he continued. "NGt a braver or parties were given at that season; where handsomer officer in the army; and such a he would be likely to meet Osborne's sis- charming wife! How you would like her; ters; and, though he had that abhorrence how you will like her when you know her, of routs and evening parties, which many Miss Osborne." The young lady thought sensible men, alas, entertain, he soon found the actual moment had arrived, and that one where the Miss Osbornes were to be Dobbin's nervousness which now came on present. Making his appearance at the ball, and was visible in many twitchings of his where he danced a couple of sets with both face, in his manner of beating the ground of them, and was prodigiously polite, he with his great feet, in the rapid buttoning actually had the courage to ask Miss Osborne and unbuttoning of his frock-coat, &c. Miss for a few minutes' conversation at an early Osborne, I say, thought that when he had hour the next day, when he had, he said, to given himself a little air, he would unbosom communicate to her news of the very great- himself entirely, and prepared eagerly to est interest. listen. And the clock, in the altar on which What was it that made her start back, Iphigenia was situated, beginning, after a and gaze upon him for a moment, and then preparatory convulsion, to toll twelve, the on the ground at her feet, and make as if mere tolling seemed as if it would last until she would faint on his arm, had he not by one-so prolonged Nwas the knell to the anxopportunely treading on her toes, brought ious spinster. the young lady back to self-control? Why "But it's not about marriage that I came was she so violently agitated at Dobbin's to speak-that is that marriage —that isrequest? This can never be known. But no, I mean-my dear Miss Osborne, it's when he came the next day, Maria was about our dear fiiend George," Dobbin not in the drawing-room with her sister, said. and Miss Wirt went off for the purpose of "About George?" she said, in a tone so fetching the latter, and the captain and Miss discomfited that Maria and Miss Wirt laughOsborne were left together. They were ed at the other side of the door, and even both so silent that the tick-tock of the Sacri- that abandoned wretch of a Dobbin felt infice of Iphigenia clock on the mantel-piece dined to smile himself; for he was not albecame quite rudely audible. together'unconscious of the state of affairs; "What' a nice party it was last. night," George having often bantered him gracefulMiss' Osborne at length began, encoura- ly and said, 1"Hang it, Will., why don't you giitly; i" and-and how you're improved take old Polly? She'll have you if you ask in your dancing, Captain Dobbin. Surely her. I'll bet you five to two she will." somebody has taught you," she added, with " Yes, about George, then," he continued. amiable archness. "There has been a difference between him " You should see me dance a reel with and Mr. Osborne. And I regard him so Mrs. Major O'Dowd of ours; and a jig- much-for you know we have been like did you ever see a jig? But I think any brothers-that I hope and pray the quarrel body could dance with you, Miss Osborne, may be settled. We must go abroad, Miss who dance so well." Osborne. ~We may be ordered off at a " Is the major's lady young and beautiful, day's warning. Who knows what may hapcaptain?" the fair questioner continued. pen in the campaign? Don't be agitated, "Ah, what a terrible thing it must be to be dear Miss Osborne; and those two at least a soldier's wife! I wonder they have any should part friends"' spirits to dance, and in these dreadful times "There has been no quarrel, Captain of war too! O, Captain Dobbin, I tremble Dobbin, except a little usual scene with sometimes when I think of our dearest papa," the lady said. "We are expecting George, and the dangers of the poor soldier. George back daily. What papa wanted Are there many married officers of the was only for his good. He has but to come -th, Captain Dobbin?" back, and I'm sure all will be well; and "'Upon my word, she's playing her hand dear Rhoda, who went away from here in rather too openly," Miss Wirt thought; sad anger, I know will forgive him. Wombut this observation is merely parenthetic, an forgives but too readily, captain." and was not heard through the crevice of 6" Such an angel as you I am sure would," the door at which the governess uttered it. Mr. Dobbin said, with atrocious astuteness. "' One of our young men is just married," "A nd. no man can pardon himself for giving A NOVEL WITHOPJT A HERO. 109 a woman pain. What would you feel, if a He dropped it in some alarm. "Denlan were faithless to you?" ceivers!" said he. "No, dear Miss Os" I should perish-I should throw myself borne, all men are not; your brother is not; out of the window-I should take poison I George has loved Amelia Sedley ever since should pine and die. I know I should," they were children; no wealth would make Miss cried, who had, nevertheless, gone him marry any but her. Ought he to forthrough one or two affairs of the heart sake her? Would you counsel him to do without any idea of suicide. so?" "And there are others," Dobbin con- What could Miss Jane say to such a tinued, 1" as true and as kind-hearted as question, and with her own peculiar views? yourself. I'm not speaking about the West She could not answer it, so she parried it by India heiress, Miss Osborne, but about a saying, "Well, if you are not a deceiver, at poor girl whom George once loved, and who least you are very romantic;" and Captain was bred from her childhood to think of WVilliam let this observation pass without nobody but him. I've seen her in her pov- challenge. erty uncomplaining, broken-hearted, with- At length when, by the help of farther out a fault. It is of Miss Sedley I speak. polite speeches, he deemed that Miss OsDear Miss Osborne, can your generous borne was sufficiently prepared to receive heart quarrel with your brother for being the whole news, he poured it into her ear. faithful to her? Could his own conscience "George could not give up Amelia —George ever forgive him if he deserted her? Be was married to her" —and then he related her fiiend-she always loved you-and- the circumstances of the marriage, as we and I am come here charged by George to know them already, how the poor girl would tell you that he holds his engagement to her have died had not her lover kept his faith: as the most sacred duty he has; and to en- how Old Sedley had refused all consent to treat you, at least, to be on his side." the match, and a license had been got; and WVhen any strong emotion took possession Jos Sedley had come from Cheltenham to of Mr. Dobbin, and after the first word or give away the bride: how they had gone to two of hlesitation, he could speak with per- Brighton in Jos's chariot-and-four to pass fect fluency, and it was evident that his elo- the honey-moon: and how George counted quence on this occasion made some impres- on his dear kind sisters to befriend him with sion upon the lady whom he addressed. their father, as women-so true and tender "'Well," said she, "this is-most sur- as they were assuredly would do. And so, prising-lmostpainful-most extraordinary- asking permission (readily granted) to see what will papa say?-that George should her again, and rightly conjecturing that the fling away such a superb establishment as news he had brought would be told in the was offered to him-but at any rate he has next five minutes to the other ladies, Capfound a very brave champion in you, Captain tain Dobbin made his bow and took his leave. Dobbin. It is of no use, however," she con- He was scarcely out of the house, when tinued, after a pause, " I feel for poor Miss Miss Maria and Miss Wirt rushed ir to Sedley, most certainly-most sincerely, you Miss Osborne, and the whole wondeiful know. WVe never thought the match a good secret was imparted to them by that lady. one, though we were always very kind to To do them justice, neither of the sisters her here-svery. But papa will never con- were very much displeased. There issomesent, I am sure. And a well brought up thing about a runaway match with which young woman you know-with a well regu- few ladies can be seriously angry, and Amelated mind must-George must give her up, lia rather rose in their estimation, from the dear Captain Dobbin, indeed he must." spirit which she had displayed in consenting "' Ougbit a man to give up the woman he to the union. As they debated the story, loved, just when misfortune befell her?" and prattled about- it, and wondered what Dobbin said, holding out his hand. 1" Dear papa would do and say, came a loud knock, Miss Osborne! is this the counsel I hear as of an avenging thunder-clap, at the door, from you? My dear young lady! you must which made these conspirators start. It befriend her. He can't give her up. Ile must be papa, they thought. But it was not must not give her up. Would a man, think he. It was only Mr. Frederick Bullock, you, give you up if you were poor?" who had come fi:on the city according to This adroit question touched the heart of appointment, to conduct the ladies to a flowMiss Jane Osborne not a little. "I don't er-show. know whether we poor girls ought to be- This gentleman, as may be imagined, was lieve what you men say, captain," she said. not kept long in ignorance of the secret. "There is that in woman's tenderness But his face, when he heard it, showed an which induces her to believe too easily. amazement which was very different to that I'm aftraid you are cruel, cruel deceivers," look of sentimental wonder which the counand Dobbin certainly thought he felt a pres- tenances of the sisters wore. Mr. Bullock sure of the hand which Miss Osborne had was a man of the world, and a junior partner exteeded to him. of a wealthy firm. He knew what money 110 VANITY FAIR. was, and the value of it: and a delightful Mr. Osborne's offices with a most ckismal throb of expectation lighted up his little eyes, countenance and abashed gait, and, passing and caused him to smile on his Maria, as through the outer room where Mr. Chopper he thought that by this piece of folly of Mr. presided, was greeted by that functionary George's she might be worth thirty thousand firom his desk with a waggish air which pqunds more than he had ever hoped to get farther discomfited him. Mr. Chopper with her. winked and nodded and pointed his pen' Gad! Jane," said he, surveying even toward his patron's door, and said, "You'll the elder sister with some interest, "Eels find the governor all right," with the most will be sorry he cried off. You may be a provoking good humor. fifty thousand pounder yet." Osborne rose too, and shook him heartily The sisters had never thought of the by the hand, and said, "How do, my dear money question up to that moment, but boy?" with a cordiality that made poor Fred. Bullock bantered them with graceful George's embassador feel doubly guilty. gayety about it during their forenoon's ex- His hand lay as if dead in the old gentlecursion; and they had risen not a little in man's grasp. He felt that he, Dobbin, was their own esteem by the time'when, the more or less the cause of all that had hapmorning amusement over, they drove back pened. It was he had brought back George to dinner. And do not let my respected to Amelia; it was he had applauded, enreader exclaim against this selfishness as un- couraged, transacted almost the marriage natural. It was but this present morning, which he was come to reveal to George's as he rode on the omnibus from Richmond; father: and the latter was receiving him while it changed horses, this present chroni- with smiles of welcome; patting him on the cler, being on the roof, marked three little shoulder, and calling him "Dobbin, my dear children playing in a puddle below, very dirty boy." The envoy had indeed good reason and friendly and happy. To these three to hang his head. presently came another little one. "Polly," Osborne fully believed that Dobbin had says she, 1" your sister's got a penny." At come to announce his son's surrender. Mr. which the children got up from the puddle Chopper and his principal were talking over instantly, and ran off to pay their court to the matter between George and his father Peggy. And as the omnibus drove off I at the very moment when Dobbin's messensaw Peggy with the infantine procession at ger arrived. Both agreed that George was her tail, marching with great dignity toward sending in his submission. Both had been the stall of a neighboring lollipop-woman. expecting it for some days —and " Lord! Chopper, what a marriage we'll have," Mr. Osborne said to his clerk, snapping his big fingers, and jingling all the guineas and shillings in his great pockets, as he eyed his subCHAPTER XXIV. ordinate with a look of triumph. With similar operations conducted in both IN WHAICH MR. OSBORNLE TAKES DOWN THE pockets, and a knowing, jolly air, Osborne ]FAMILY BIBLE. — (ILY BIBL. ffrom his chair regarded Dobbin seated blank So having prepared the sisters, Dobbin and silent opposite to him. "What a bumphastened away to the city to perform the kin he is for a captain in the army," old Osrest and more difficult part of the task which borne thought. "'I wonder George hasn't he had undertaken. The idea of facing old taught him better manners." Osborne rendered him not a little nervous, At last Dobbin summoned courage to beand more than once he thought of leaving gin. "Sir," said he, "I've brought you the young ladies to communicate the secret, some very grave news. I have been at the which, as he was aware, they could not long Horse Guards this morning, and there's no retain. But he had promised to report to doubt that our regiment will be ordered George upon the manner in which the elder abroad, and on its way to Belgium before Osborne bore the intelligence;,so going into the week is over. And you know, sir, that the city to the paternal counting-house in we sha'nt be home again before a tussle Thames-street, he dispatched thence a note which may be fatal to many of us." to MIr. Osborne begging for a half-hour's Osborne looked grave. "My s —, the. conversation relative to the affairs of his son regiment will do its duty, sil, I dare say,'" George. Dobbin's messenger returned from he said. Mr. Osborne's house of business, with the " The French are very strong, sir," Dob compliments of the latter, who would be bin went on. "The Russians and Austrian, very happy to see the captain immediately, will be a long time before they can bring their and away accordingly Dobbin went to con- troops down. We shall have the first of the front him. fight, sir: and depend on it Boney will take The captain, with a half-guilty secret to care that it shall be a hard one." confess, and with the prospect of a painful "What are you driving at, qobbin," his and stormy interview before him. entered interlocutor said, uneasy and with a sce,V, A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 111 "1 suppose no Briton's afraid of any d- and more guilty. "- Sir," said he, "I fear Frenchman, hey!" you deceive yourself. I am sure you do. I only mean, that before we go, and con- George is much too high-minded a man ever sidering the great and certain risk that hangs to marry for money. A threat on your part over every one of us-if there are any dif- ithat you would disinherit him in case of disferences between you and George-it would obedience would only be followed by resistbe as well, sir, that-that you should shake ance on his." hands: wouldn't it? Should any thing hap- "Why, hang it, man, you don't call offerpen to him, I think you would never forgive ing him eight or ten thousand a year, threatyourself if you hadn't parted in charity." ening him?" Mr. Osborne said, with still As he said this, poor William Dobbin provoking good humor.'" Gad, if Miss S. blushed crimson, and felt and owned that he will have me, I'm her man. I ain't particuhimself was a traitor. But for him, perhaps, lar about a shade or so of tawny." And the this severance need never have taken place. old gentleman gave his knowing grin, and Why had not George's marriage been de- coarse laugh. layed? What call was there to press it on "You forget, sir, previous engagements so eagerly? He felt that George would into which Captain Osborne had entered," have parted from Amelia at any rate with- the etnbassador said, gravely. out a mortal pang. Amelia, too, might have " What engagements? What the devil recovered the shock of losing him. It was do you mean? You don't mean," Mr. Oshis counsel had brought about this marriage, borne continued, gathering wrath and astonand all that was to ensue from it. And why ishment as the thought now first came upon was it? Because he loved her so much that him;' you don't mean that he's such a d he could not bear to see her unhappy: or fool- as to be still hankering after that swindbecause his own sufferings of suspense were ling old bankrupt's daughter? You've not so unendurable that he was glad to crush come here for to make me suppose that he thern at once+as we hasten a funeral after wants to marry her? Marry her, that is a a death, or, when a separation from those good one. My son and heir marry a begwe love is imminent, can not rest until the gar's girl out of a gutter. D — him, if he parting be over... does, let him buy a broom and sweep a cross"You are a good fellow, William," said ing. She was always dangling and ogling Mr. Osborne in a softened voice; "and me after him, I recollect now; and I've no doubt and George shouldn't part in anger, that is she was put on by her old sharper of a true. Look here. I've done for him as father." much as any father ever did. He's had three "Mr. Sedley was your very good friend, times as much money from me, as I warrant sir," Dobbin interposed, almost pleased at your father ever gave you. But I don't brag finding himself growing angry. " Time was about that.'How I've toiled for him, and you called him better names than rogue and worked and employed my talents and energy swindler. The match was of your own makr won't say. Ask Chopper. Ask himself. ing. George had no right to play fast and Ask the city of London. Well, I propose loose." to him such a marriage as any nobleman in "'Fast and loose!" howled out old Osborne. the land might be proud of-the only thing " Fast and loose! Why, hang me, those are in life I ever asked him-and he refuses me. the very words my gentleman used himself Am I wrong? Is the quarrel of my mak- when he gave himself airs, last Thursday ing? What do I seek but his good, for was a fortnight, and talked about the British which I've been toiling like a convict ever army to his father who made him. What, since he was born? Nobody can say there's it's you who have been a setting of him up any thing selfish in me. Let him come back. — is it? and my service to you captain. It's I say, here's my hand. I say, forget and you who want to introduce beggars into my forgive. As for marrying now, it's out of family. Thank you for nothing, captain. the question. Let him and Miss S. make Marry her indeed-he, he! why should he? it up, and make out the marriage afterward, I warrant you she'd go to him fast enough when he comes back a colonel; for he shall without." be a colonel, by G- he shall, if money " Sir," said Dobbin, starting up in undiscan do it. I'm glad you've brought him guised anger; 1"no man shall abuse thatlady round. I know it's you Dobbin. You've in my hearing, and you least of all." took him out of many a scrape before. Let I" 0, you're a going to call me out, are you? him come. I shan't be hard. Come along, Stop, let me ring the bell for pistols for two. and dine in Russell-square to-day: both of Mr. George sent you here to insult his you. The old shop, the old hour. You'll father, did he?" Osborne said, pulling at find a neck of venison, and no questions the bell-cord. asked." "Mr. Osborne," said Dobbin, with a falThis praise and confidencesmote Dobbin's tering voice, "'it's you who are insulting heart very keenly. Every moment the col- the best creature in the world. You han loquy continued in this tone, he felt more best spare her, sir, for she's your son's wife. tl2 VANITY FAIR. And with this, feeling that he could say Behind Mr. Osborne's dining-room was no more, Dobbin went away, Osborne sink- the usual apartment which went in nis house ing back in his chair, and looking wildly after by the name of the study; and was sacred him. A clerk came in, obedient to the bell; to the master of the house. Hither Mr, and the captain was scarcely out of the court, Osborne would retire on a Sunday forenoon, where Mr. Osborne's offices were, when when not minded to go to church; and here Mr. Chopper, the chief clerk, came rushing pass the morning in his crimson leather hatless after him. chair, reading the paper. A couple of glazed " For God's sake, what is it?" Mr. Chop- book-cases were here, containing standard per said, catching the captain by the skirt. works in stout gilt bindings. The'" Annua'" The governor's in a fit. What has Mr. Register," the " Gentleman's Magazine,' George been doing?" " Blair's Sermons," and "Hume and Smol "He married Miss Sedley five days ago," let." From year's end to year's end he Dobbin replied. " Iwas his groomsman, Mr. never took one of these volumes from the Chopper, and you must stand his friend." shelf; but there was no member of the The old clerk shook his head. " If that's family that would dare for his life to touch your news, captain, it's bad. The governor one of the books, except upon those rare will never forgive him." Sunday evenings when there was no dinner Dobbin begged Chopper to report progress party, and when the great scarlet Bible and to him at the hotel where he was stopping, Prayer-book were taken-out from the corner and walked off moodily westward, greatly where they stood beside his copy of the perturbed as to the past and the futnre. Peerage, and the servants being rung up to When the Russell-square family came to *the dining parlor, Osborne read the evening dinner that evening, they found the father service to his family in a loud, grating, pompof the house seated in his usual place, but ous voice. No member of the household, with that air of gloom on his face, which, child or domestic, ever entered that room whenever it appeared there, kept the whole without a certain lerror. Here he checked circle silent. The ladies and Mr. Bullock, the housekeeper's accounts, and wverhauled who dined with them, felt that the news had the butler's cellar-book. Hence he could been communicated to Mr. Osborne. His command, across the clean, gravel tourtdark looks affected Mr. Bullock so far as to yard, the back entrance of the stables with render him still and quiet: but he was un- which one of his bells communicated, and usually bland and attentive to Miss Maria, into this yard the coachman issued from his by whom he sat, and to her sister presiding premises as into a dock, and Osborne swore at the head of the table. at him from the study window. Four times Miss Wirt, by consequence, was alone on a year Bliss Wirt entered this apartment to her side of the board, a gap being left be- get her salary; and his daughtels to receive tween her and Miss Jane Osborne. Now their quarterly allowance. George, as a boy, this was George's place when he dined at had been horsewhipped in this room many home; and his cover, as we said, was laid times; his mother sitting sick on the stair for him in expectation of that truant's re- listening to the cuts of the whip. The boy turn. Nothing occurred during dinner time was scarcely ever known to cry under the except smiling Mr. Frederic's flagging, con- punishment; the poor woman. used to fondle fidential whispers, and the clinking of plate and kiss him secretly, and give him money and china, to interrupt the silence of the re- to soothe him when he came out. past. The servants went about stealthily There was a picture of the family over doing their duty. Mutes at funerals could the mantel-piece, removed thither from the not look more glum than the domestics of front room after Mrs. Osborne's deathMr. Osborne. The neck of venison of George was on a pony, the elder sister which he had invited Dobbin to partake, holding him up a bunch of flowers; the was carved by him in perfect'silence; but younger led by her mother's hand; all with his own share went away almost untasted, red cheeks and large, red mouths, simpering though he drank much, and the butler assid- on each other in the approved family-portrait uously filled his glass.'' manner. The mother lay under ground At last, just at the end of the dinner, his now, long since forgotten-the sisters and eyes, which had been staring at every body brother had a hundred different interests of in turn, fixed themselves for a while upon their own, and, familiar still, were utterly the plate laid for George. He pointed to it estranged fiom each other. Some few presently with his left hand. His daughters scqre of years afterward, when all the par looked at him and did not comprehend, or ties represented are grown old, what bitter choose to comprehend, the signal; nor did satire there is in these flaunting, childish, the servants at first understand it family-portraits, with their farce of senti "Take that plate away," at last he said, ment and smiling lies, and innocence so getting up with an oath-and with this push- self-conscious and self-satisfied. Osborne's ing his chair back, he walked into his own own stately portrait, with that of his great room. silver inkstand a-Al arm-chair, had taken A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 113 place of honor in the dining-room, vacated school where George was: when he went by the family-piece. with George to the depot of his regiment, To this study old Osborne retired then, before the boy embarked for Canada, he greatly to the relief of the small party whom gave the officers such a dinner as the Duke he left. When the servants had withdrawn, of York might have sat down to. Had he they began to talk for a while volubly but ever refused a bill when George drew one? very low; then they went up-stairs quietly, There they were-paid without a word. Mr. Bullock accompanying them stealthily Many a general in the army couldn't ride on' his creaking shoes. He had no heart to the horses he had! He had the child besit alone drinking wine, and so close to the terl- fore his eyes, on a hundred different days rible old gentleman in the study hard at hand. when he remembered George-after dinAn hour at least after dark, the butler, ner, when he used to come in as bold as a not having received any summons, ventured lord and drink off his glass by his father's to tap at his door and take him in wax can- side, at the head of the table —on the pony dies and tea. The master of the house sat at Brighton, when he cleared the hedge and in his chair pretending to read the paper, kept up with the huntsman-on the day and when the servant, placing the lights and when he was presented to the Prince Rerefreshment on the table by him, retired, gent at the levee, when all St. James's Mi' Osborne got up and locked the door couldn't produce a finer young fellow. And after him.' This time there was no mistaking this, this was the end of all! —to marry a the matter; all the household knew that some bankrupt, and fly in the face of duty and forgreat catastrophe was going to happen which tune! What humiliation and fury: what was likely direly to affect Master George. pangs of sickening rage, balked ambition and In the large shining mahogany escrutoire love; what wounds of outraged vanity, tenMr. Osborne had a drawer especially de- derness even, had this old worldling now to voted to his son's affairs and papers. Here suffer under! he kept all the documents relating to him Hlaving examined these papers, and penever since he had been a boy: here were dered over this one and the other, in that his prizeI'bpy-books, and drawing-books, all bitterest of all helpless woe, with which bearing George's hand, and that of the mas- miserable men think of happy past times, ter: here were his first letters in large round George's father took the whole of the docuhand, sending his love to papa and mamma, ments out of the drawer in which he had and conveying his petitions for a cake. His kept them so long, and locked them into a dear godpapa Sedley was more than once writing-box, which he tied and sealed with mentioned in them. Curses quivered on old his seal. Then he opened the book-case, Osborne's livid lips, and horrid hatred and and took down the great red Bible we have disappointment writhed in his heart, as look- spoken of-a pompous book, seldom looked ing through some of these papers he came on at, and shining all over with gold. There that name. They were all marked and was a fiontispiece to the volume, representdocketed, and tied with red tape. It was- ing Abraham sacrificing Isaac. Here, ac"From Georgy, requesting 5s., April 23, cording to custom, Osborne had recorded on 18-; answered April 25,"-or "Georgy the fly-leaf, and in his large clerk-like hand, about a pony, October 13" —and so forth. In the dates of his marriage and his wife's another packet were "Dr. S.'s accounts"- death, and the births and Christian names "G.'s tailor's bills and outfit, drafts on me by of his children. Jane came first, then George G. Osborne, jun.," &c.-his letters fiom the Sedley Osborne, then Maria Frances, and West Indies- is agent's letters, and the the days of the christening of each. Taknewspapers containing his commission: here ing a pen, he carefully obliterated George's was a whip he had when a boy, and in a name from the page; and when the leaf paper a locket containing his hair, which his was quite dry, restored the volume to the mother used to wear. place from which he had moved it. Then Turning one over after another, and mus- he took a document out of another drawer, ing over the memorials, the unhappy man where his own private papers were kept; passed many hours. HIis dearest vanities, and having read it, crumpled it up and lightambitions, hopes, had all been here. What ed it at one of the candles, and saw it burn pride he had in his boy! He was the hand- entirely away in the grate. It was his will; somest child ever seen. Every body said he which having burned, he satedown and wrote was like a nobleman's son. A royal princess off a letter, and iang for his servant, whom had remarked him, and kissed him, and ask- he charged to deliver it in the morning. It ed his name in Kew Gardens. W\hat city- was morniDg already: as he went up to bed,, man could show such another? Could a the whole house was alight with the sun — prince have been better cared for? Any shine: and the birds were singing-among thing that money could buy had been his the fresh green leaves in Russell-square. son's. He used to go down on speech-days Anxious to keep all Mr. Osbornte's family, with four horses and new liveries, and scat- and dependents in good humor, and to make ter new shillings among the boys at the as many friends as possible for George, in his H t14 VANITY FAIR. hour of adversity, William Dobbin, who Chopper received a note brought by Captain knew the effect which good dinners and Dobbin's man, and containing anl inclosure good wines have upon the soul of man, wrote for Mr. Osborne, which the clerk went in off immediately on his return to his inn, the and delivered. A short time afterward Mr most hospitable of invitations to Thomas Chopper and Mr. Birch, the next clerk, Chopper, Esquire, begging that gentleman were summoned, and requested to witness a to dine with him, at the Slaughter's, next paper. "I've been making a new will," Mr. day. The note reached Mr. Chopper be- Osborne said, to which these gentlemen apfore he left the city, and the instant reply pended their names accordingly. No con was, that " Mr. Chopper presents his re- versation passed. Mr. Higgs looked ex spectful compliments, and will have the ceedingly grave as he came into the outer honor and pleasure of waiting orn Captain rooms, and very hard in Mr. Chopper's face; D." The invitation and the rough draft of but there were not any explanations. It the answer were shown to Mrs. Chopper was remarked that Mr. Osborne was particand her daughters, oh his return to Somers' ularly quiet and gentle all day, to the surprise Town that evening, and they talked about of those who had augured ill from his darkmilitary gents and West End men with ling demeanor. He called no man names great exultation as the family sate and par- that day, and was not heard to swear once. took of tea. When the girls had gone to He left business early; and before going rest, Mr. and Mrs. C. discoursed upon the away, summoned his chief clerk once more, strange events which were occurring in the and having given him general instructions, governor's family. Never had the clerk asked him, after some seeming hesitation seen his, principal so moved. When he and reluctance to speak, if he knew whether went in to Mr. Osborne, after Captain Dob- Captain Dobbin was in town? bin's departure, Mr. Chopper found his Chopper said he believedhe was. Indeed chief black in the face, and all but in a fit: both of them knew the fact perfectly. some dreadful quarrel, he was certain, had Osborne took a letter directed to that offioccurred between Mr. O. and the young cer, and, giving it to the clerk, requested the captain. Chopper had been instructed to latter to deliver it into Dobbin's own hands make out an account of all sums paid to immediately. Captain Osborne within the last three years. " And now Chopper," says he, taking his', And a precious lot of money he has had, hat, and with a strange look, " my mind will too," the chief clerk said, and respected his be easy." Exactly as the clock struck two old and young master the more, for the lib- (there was no doubt an appointment between eral way in which the guineas had been flung the pair), Mr. Frederic Bullock called, and about. The dispute was something about he and Mr. Osborne walked away together. Miss Sedley. Nrs. Chopper vowed and de- The colonel of the -th regiment, in which dlared, she pitied that poor young lady to Messieurs Dobbin and Osborne had compalose such a handsome young fellow as the nies, was an old general who had made his capting. As the daughter of an unlucky first campaign under Wolfe at Quebec, and speculator, who had paid a very shabby div- was long since quite too old and feeble for idend, Mr. Chopper had no great regard for command; but he took some interest in the Miss Sedley. He respected the house of regiment of which he was the nominal head, Osborne before all others in the city of Lon- and made certain of his young officers weldon: and his hope and wish was, that Cap- come at his table, a kind of hospitality which tain George should marry a nobleman's I believe is not altogether common among daughter. The clerk slept a great deal his brethren of the present day. Captain sounder than his principal that night; and, Dobbin was an especial favorite of this old cuddling his children after breakfast, of general. Dobbin was versed in the literature which he partook with a very hearty appe- of his profession, and could talk about the tite (though his modest cup of life was only great Frederic and the empress queen and sweetened with brown sugar), he set off in their wars, almost as well as the general his best Sunday suit and friilled shirt for himself, who was indifferent to the triumphs business, promising his admiring wife not to of the present day, and whose heart was punish Captain D.'s port too severely that with the tacticians of fifty years back. This evening. officer sent a summons to Dobbin to come Mr. Osborne's countenance, when he ar- and breakfast with him, on the morning rived in the city at his usual time, struck when Mr. Osborne altered his will and Mr. those dependents who were accustomed, for Chopper put on his best shirt frill, and then good reasons, to watch its expression, as informed his young favorite, a couple of days peculiarly ghastly and worn. At t-welve in advance, of that which they were all exo'clock Mr. Higgs (of the firm of Higgs & pecting-a marching order to go to Belgium. Blatherwick, solicitors, Bedford Row) called The order for the regiment to hold itself in by aplpointment, and was ushered into the readiness would leave the Horse Guards in governor's private room, and closeted there a day or two; and as transports were in for more than an hour. At about one Mr. plenty, they would get their route before A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. the week was over. Recruits had come in do execution among Frenchmen. Shouting during the stay of the regiment at Chatham; " Ha, ha," and stamping his little feet with.and the old general hoped that the regiment tremendous energy, he delivered the point which had helped to beat Mentcalm in Can- twice or thrice at Captain Dobbin, who parada, and to rout Mr. Washington on Long ried the thrust laughingly with his bamboo Island, would prove itself worthy of its his- walking-stick. torical reputation on the oft-trodden battle- Mr. Stubble, as may be supposed from grounds of the Low Countries. "And so his size and slenderness, was of the Light my good friend, if you have any affazre id," Bobs. Ensign Spooney, on the contrary, said the old general, taking a pinch of snuff was a tail youth, and belonged to (Captain with his trembling white old hand, and then Dobbin's) the Grenadier Company, and he pointing to the spot of his robe de chambre, tried on a new bear-skin cap, under which under which his heart was still feebly beat- he looked savage beyond his years. Then ing, "if you have any Phillis to console, or these two lads went off to the Slaughter's, to bid farewell to papa and mamma, or any and having ordered a famous dinner, sat will to make, I recommend you to set about down and wrote off letters to the kind, anx your business without delay." With which ious parents at home-letters full of love and the general gave his young friend a finger to heartiness, and pluck and bad spelling. Ah! shake, and a good-natured nod of his pow- there were many anxious hearts beating' dered and pig-tailed head; and the door through England at that time; and mothers' being closed upon Dobbin, sat down to pen prayers and tears flowing in many homtea poulet (he was exceedingly vain of his steads. French) to Mademoiselle Amenaide, of His Seeing young Stubble engaged in compoMajesty's Theater. sition at one of the coffee-roomn tables at the This news made Dobbin grave, and he Slaughter's, and the tears trickling down his thought of our friends at Brighton, and then nose upon the paper (for the youngster was he was ashamed of himself that Amelia was thinking of his mamma, and that he might always the first thing in his thoughts (always never see her again), Dobbin, who was going before any body-before father and mother; to write off a letter to George Osborne, resisters and duty —always at waking and lented, and locked up his desk. " Why sleeping, indeed, and all day long); and re- should I?" said he. "Let her have this turning to his hotel, he sent off a brief note night happy. I'll go and see my parents to Mlr. Osborne, acquainting him with the eally in the morning, and go down to information which he had received, and Brighton myself to-morrow." which might tend farther, he hoped, to So he went up and laid his big hand on bring about a reconciliation with George. young Stubble's shoulder, and backed up This note, dispatched by the same mes- that young champion, and told him if he senger who had carried the invitation to would leave off brandy and water he would Chopper on the previous day, alarmed the be a good soldier, as he always was a genworthy clerk not a little. It was inclosed to t.lernanly good-hearted fellow. Young Stubhim, and as he opened the letter he trem- ble's eyes brightened up at this, for Dobbin bled lest the dinner should be put off on was greatly respected in the regiment, as which he was calculating. His mind was the best officer and the cleverest man in it. inexpressibly relieved wrhen he found that "Thank you, Dobbin," he said, rubbing the envelope was only a reminder for him- his eyes with his knuckles, "I was justself. (" I shall expect you at half-past five," just telling her t would. And 0, sir, she's Captain Dobbin wrote.) He was very much so dam kind to me."'The water pumps interested about his employer's family; but, were at work again, and I am not sure that que voulez vous? a grand dinner was of more the soft-hearted captain's eyes did not also concern to him than the affairs of any other twinkle. mortal. The two ensigns, the captain and Mr. Dobbin was quite justified in repeating Chopper, dined together in the same box. the general's information to any officers of Chopper brought the letter from Mir. Osthe regiment whom he should see in the borne, in which the latter briefly presented course of his peregrinations; accordingly he his compliments to Captain Dobbin, and reimparted it to Ensign Stubble, whom he met quested him to forward the inclosed to Capat the agent's, and who, such was his mili- tain George Osborne. Chopper knew nothing tary ardor, went off instantly to purchase a further; he described Mr. Osborne's apnew sword at the accouterment-maker's. pearance, it is true, and his interview with Here this young fellow, who though only his lawyer, wondered how the governor had seventeen years of age, and about sixty-five sworn at nobody. and, especially as the wine inches high, with a constitution naturally circled round, abounded in speculations and rickety and much impaired by premature conjectures. But these grew more vague brandy and water, had an undoubted courage with every glass, and at length became perand a lion's heart, poised, tried, bent, and fectly unintelligible. At a late hour Captain balanced a weapon such as he thought would Dobbin put his guest into a hackney coachl VANITY FAIR. in a hiccuping state, and swearing that lie Dobbin saluted Mrs. George Osborne quite would be the kick —the kick- captain's gayly, tried to pay her one or two complifriend for ever and ever. ments relative to her new position as a bride. When Captain Dobbin took leave of Miss (which compliments, it must be conresseti, Osborne we have said that he asked leave to were exceedingly clumsy and hung fire wocome and pay her another visit, and the fully), and then fell to talking about BrigIton, spinster expected him for some hours the and the sea-air, and the gayeties of the place, next day, when, perhaps, had he come, and and the beauties of the road and the merits had he asked her that question which she of the "1 Lightning" coach and horses —all was prepared to answer, she would have in a manner quite incomprehensible to Alnedeclared herself as her brother's'friend, and lia, and very amusing to Rebecca, who was a reconciliation might have been effected watching the captain, as indeed she watched between George and his angry father. But every one near whom she came. though she waited at home the captain never Little Amelia, it must be owned, had came. He had his own affairs to pursue; rather a mean opinion ofherhusband's friend, his own parents to visit and console; and at Captain Dobbin. He lisped-he was very an early hour of the day to take his place plain and homely-looking: and exceedingly on the Lightning coach, and go down to his awkward and ungainly. She liked him for friends at Brighton. In the course of the his attachment to her husband (to be sure day Miss Osborne heard her father give there was very little merit in that), and she orders that that meddling scoundrel, Captain thought George was most generous and kind Dobbin, should never be admitted within his'in extending his friendship to his brother doors again, and any hopes in which she officer. George had mimicked Dobbin's may have indulged privately, were thus lisp and queer manners many times to her, abruptly brought to an end. Mr. Frederic though to do him justice, he always spoke Bullock came, and was particularly -affec- most highly of his friend's good qualities. tionate to Maria, and attentive to the broken- In her little day of triumph, and not knowspirited old gentleman. For though he said ing him intimately as yet, she made light of his mind would be easy, the means which honest William-and he knew her opinions he had taken to secure quiet did not seem of him quite well, and acquiesced in them to have succeeded as yet, and the events of very humbly. A time came when she knew the past two days had visibly shattered him. him better, and changed her notions regarding him: but that was distant as yet. As for Rebecca, Captain Dobbin had not been two hours in the ladies' company, before she understood his secret perfectly. CHAPTER XXV. She did not like him, and feared him privately; nor was he very much prepossessed in her favor. He was so honest, that her THINK FtIT To LEAVE BRIGHTON. arts and cajoleries did not affect him, and he CONIDUCTED to the ladies, at the Ship shrank fiom her with instinctive repulsion. Inn, Dobbin assumed a jovial and rattling And, as she was by no means so far superior manner, which proved that this young officer to her sex as to be above jealousy, she diswas becoming a more consummate hypocrite liked him the more for his adoration of every day of his life. He was trying to hide Amelia. Nevertheless, she was.very rehis own private feelings, first. upon seeing spectful and cordial in her manner toward Mrs. George Osborne in her new condition, him. A friend to the Osbornes! a friend to and secondly to mask the apprehensions he her dearest benefactors! She vowed she entertained as to the effect which the dismal should always love him sincerely: she renews brought down by him would certainly membered him quite well on the Vauxhall have upon her. night, as she told Amelia archly, and she " It is my opinion, George," he said, made a little fun of him when the two ladies "that the French emperor will be upon us, went to dress for dinner. Rawdon Crawley horse and foot, before three weeks are over, paid scarcely any attention to Dobbin, lookand will give the duke such a dance as shall ing upon him as a good-natured ninconpoop, make the Peninsula appear mere child's and under-bred city man. Jos patronized play. But you need not say that to Mrs. him with much dignity. Osborne, you know. There mayn't be any When George and Dobbin were alone in -ighting on our side after all, and our business the latter's room, to which George had foln Belgium may turn out to be a mere mili- lowed him, Dobbin took from his desk the tary occupation. Many persons think so; letter which he had been charged by Mr. and Brussels is full of fine people and ladies Osborne to deliver to his son. "It's not in of fashion." So it was agreed to represent my father's hand-writing," said George, lookthe duty of the British army in Belgium in ing rather alarmed; nor was it. the letter this harmless light to Amelia. was from Mr. Osborne's lawyer, and to the This plot being arranged, the hypocritical following effect — A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. "Bedford Row, May 7, 1815. must be a fool to talk so, Dobbin. Htow th, "SIR, deuce am I to keep up my position in the "I am commissioned by Mr. Osborne to world upon such a pitiful pittance? I can't inform you, that he abides by the determi- change my habits. I must have my corrnnation which he before expressed to you, forts. I wasn't brought up on porridge like and that in consequence of the marriage MacWhirter, or on potatoes, likeold O'Dowd. which you have been pleased to contract, he Do you expect my wife to take in soldiers' ceases to consider you henceforth as a mem- washing, or ride after the regiment in a ber of his family. This determination is baggage wagon?" final and irrevocable. " Well, well," said Dobbin, still good-na" Although the moneys expended upon turedly,; "we'll get her a better conveyance. you in your minority, and the bills which But try and remember that you are only a you have drawn upon him so unsparingly of dethroned prince now, George, my boy; late years, fiar exceed in amount the sum to and be quiet while the tempest lasts. It which you are entitled in your own right won't be for long. Let your name be men(being the third part of the fortune of your tioned in the Gazette, and I'll engage the mother, the late Mrs. Osborne, and which old father relents toward you." reverted to you at her decease, and to Miss "Mentioned in the Gazette!" George anJane Osborne and Miss Maria Frances Os- swered. " And in what part of it? Among borne), yet I am instructed by Mr. Osborne the killed and wounded returns, and at the to say, that he waives all claim upon your top of the list, very likely." estate, and that the sum of X2000, 4 per "Psha! It will be time enough to cry cent. annuities, at the value of the day (be- out when we are hurt," Dobbin said. "And ing your one-third share of the sum of if any thing happens, you know, George, I.~6000), shall be paid over to yourself or have got a little, and I am not a marrying your agents upon your receipt for the man, and I shall not forget my godson in my same, by will," he added, with a smile. Whereupon "' Your obedient Servt., the dispute ended-as many scores of such'; S. HIGGS. conversations between Osborne and his friend " P.S.-Mr. Osborne desires me to say, had concluded previously-by the former deonce for all, that he declines to receive any claring there was no possibility of being angry messages, letters, or communications from with Dobbin long, and forgiving him very you on this or any other subject." generously after abusing him without cause. "I say, Becky," cried Rawdon Crawley "A pretty way you have managed the out of his dressing-room, to his lady, who affair," said George, looking savagely at was attiring herself for dinner in her own William Dobbin. " Look there, Dobbin," chamber. and he flung over to the latter his parent's "What?" said Becky's shrill voice. She letter. " A beggar, by Jove, and all in con- was looking over her shoulder in the glass. sequence of my d-d sentimentality. Why She had put on the neatest and freshest couldn't we have waited? A ball might white frock imaginable, and with bare shoulhave done for me in the course of the war, ders and a little necklace, and a light blue and may still, and how will Emmy be bet- sash, she looked the image of youthful inno tered by being left a beggar's widow? It cence and girlish happiness. was all your doing. You were never easy " I say, what'll Mrs. O. do, when O. goes until you had got me married and ruined. out with the regiment?" Crawley said comWhat the deuce am I to do with twot hou- ing into the room, performing a duet on his sand pounds? Such a sum won't last two head with two huge hair-brushes, and lookyears. I've lost a hundred and forty to ing out from under his hair with admiration Crawley at cards and billiards since I've been on his pretty little wife. down here. A pretty manager of a man's "I suppose she'll cry her eyes out," Becky matters you are, forsooth." answered. "She has been whimpering half"There's no denying that the position is a-dozen of times at the very notion of it, ala hard one," Dobbin replied, after reading ready to me." over the letter with a blank countenance; "' You don't care, I suppose," Rawdon "6 and, as you say, it is partly of my making. said, half angry at his wife's want of-feeling. There are some men that wouldn't mind "You wretch! don't you know that I inchanging with you," he added with a bitter tend to go with you," Becky replied. "Besmile. "How many captains in the regi- sides, you're different. You go as General ment have two thousand pounds to the fore, ITufto's aid-de-camp. We don't belong to think you? You must live on your pay till the line," Mrs. Crawley said, throwing up your father relents, and if you die, you leave her head with an air that so enchanted her your wife a hundred a year." husband that he stooped down and kissed it, " Do you suppose a man of my habits can " Rawdon, dear-don't you think —you'd live on his pay and a hundred a year?" better get that-money friom Cupid, before George e-ied out in great anger. "You he goes?" Becky continued, fixing on a kill VANITY FAIR.,angbow. She calledGeorgeOsborne, Cupid. embark alone on thlat wide sea, and ttnfit to She had flattered him about his good looks navigate it without a guide and protector. a score of times already. She watched over I know Miss Smith has a mean opinion of nim kindly at 6ecart6 of a night when he her. But how many, my dear madam, are would drop in to Rawdot's quarters for a endowed with your prodigious strength of nalf-hour before bed-time. mind? She had often called him a horrid dissi- "Gad, what a fine night, and how bright pated wretch, and threatened to tell Emmy the moon is!" George said, with a puff of of his wicked ways and naughty extravagant his cigar, which went soaring up skyward. habits. She brought his cigar and lighted "How delicious they smell in the open it for him; she knew the effect of that ma- air! I adore them. Who'd think the moon nceuvre, having practiced it in former days was two hundred and thirty-six thousand upon Rawdon Crawley. He thought her eight hundred and forty-seven miles off?" gay, brisk, arch, distinguee, delightful. In she added, gazing at that orb with a smile. their little drives and dinners Becky, of "Isn't it clever of me to remember that? course, quite outshone poor Emmy, who Pooh! we learned it all at Miss Pinkerton's remained very mute and timid while Mrs. How calm the sea is, and how clear every Crawley and her husband rattled away to- thing. I declare, I can almost see the coast gether, and Captain Crawley (and Jos after of France?" and her bright green eyes he joined the young married people) gobbled streamed out, and shot into the night as if in silence. they could see through it. Emmy's mind somehow misgave her about "Do you know what I intend to do one her friend. Rebecca's wit, spirits, and ac- morning?" she said; " I find I can swim complishments troubled her with a rueful beautifully, and some day, when my Aunt disquiet. They were only a week married, Crawley's companion-old Briggs, you know and here was George already suffering ennui, -youremember her —thathook-nosed wonmand eager for others' society! She trem- an, with the long wisps of hair-when Briggs bled for the future. How shall I be a com- goes out to bathe, I intend to dive under her panion for him, she thought-so clever and awning, and insist on a reconciliation in the so brilliant, and I such a humble, foolish water. Isn't that a stratagem?" creature? How noble it was of him to marry George burlst out laughing at the idea of me-to give up every thing and stoop down this aquatic meeting. "What's the row to me. I ought to have refused him, only I there, you two?" Rawdon shouted out, rathad not the heart. I ought to have stop- tling the box. Amelia was making a fool of ped at home, and taken care of poor papa. herself in an absurd, hysterical manner, and And her neglect of her parents (and indeed, retired to her own room to whimper in prithere was some foundation for this charge, vate. which the poor child's uneasy conscience Our history is destined in this chapter to brought against her) was now remembered go backward and forward in a very irresolute for the first time, and caused her to blush manner, seemingly, and having conducted with humiliation. Oh! thought she, I have our story to to-morrow presently, we shall been very wicked and selfish-selfish in for- immediately again have occasion to step back getting them in their sorrows —selfish in to yesterday, so that the whole of the tale forcing George to marry me. I know I'm may get a hearing. As you behold at her not worthy of him-I know he would have Majesty's drawing-room, the embassadors' been happy without me-and yet-I tried, and high dignitaries' carriages whisk off from I tried to give him up. a private door, while Captain Jones's ladies It is hard when, before seven days of mar- are waiting for their fly; as you see in the riage are over, such thoughts and confessions Secretary of the Treasury's ante-chamber, as these force themselves on a little bride's a half-dozen of petitioners waiting patiently mind. But so it was, and the night before for their audience, and called out one by one, Dobbin came to join these young people- when'suddenly an Irish member or some on a fine, brilliant moonlight night of May- eminent person enters the apartment, and so warm and balmy that the windows were instantly walks into Mr. Under-Secretary flung open to the balcony, from which George over the heads of all the people present: so and Mrs. Crawley were gazing upon the in the conduct of a tale, the romancer is calm ocean spread shining before them, while obliged to exercise this most partial sort of Rawdon and Jos were engaged at back-gam- justice. Although all the little incidents mon within -Amelia couched in a great chair must be heard, yet they must be put off quite neglected, and watching both these when the great events make their appearparties, felt a despair and remorse such as ance; and surely, such a circumstance as were bitter companions for that tender, ]one- that which brought Dobbin to Brighton, viz., ly soul. Scarce a week was past, and it was the ordering out of the Guards and the line come to this! The future, had she regard- to Belgium, and the mustering of the allied ed it, offered a dismal prospect; but Elnmy armies in that country under the command was too shy, so to speak, to look to that and of his Grace the Duke of Wellington-stich '; Jl ii l rI l' 1/1 (/':,, I' t ['~ t, it, ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~'t'~-~-~- ~?_... -j I t l'ii Ill~!l i'!!! 1 I f r f i'1'Itl TI,-i I/ I -' — - ~ - ~'' ~ j." " "'']l'.,r —_.l,' / // /,-, \ I ~ i fip1 ~~~i;~~~~~~~ili i~ ~~~~~~if/ I,,! t'l,.,,'~'~\/~ I A FAMILY PARTY A F BRIGHTON. (p. lls. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 119 a dignified circumstance as that I say-was "Yes, I shall make my way as well as entitled to the pas over all minor occurrences another," Osborne went on; "but you, m whereof this history is composed mainly, and dear girl, how can I bear your being dehence a little trifling disarrangement and dis- prived of the comforts and station in society order was excusable and becoming. We which my wife had a right to expect? My have only now advanced in time so far be- dearest girl in barracks; the wife of a soldier yond Chapter XXII. as to have got our va- in a marching regiment; subject to all sorts rious characters up into their dressing-rooms of annoyance and privation! It makes me before the dinner, which took place as usual miserable." on the day of Dobbin's arrival. Emmy, quite at ease, as this was her George was too humane or too much oc- husband's only cause of disquiet, took his cupied with the tie of his neckcloth to con- hand, and with a radiant face and smile vey at once all the news to Amelia which began to warble that stanza from the favorite his comrade had brought with him from song of' Wapping Old Stairs," in which London. lie came into her room, however, the heroine, after rebuking her Tom for inatholding the attorney's letter in his hand, and tention, promises "his trowsers to mend, and with so solemn and important an air that his his grog too to make," if he will be constant wife, always ingeniously on the watch for and kind, and not forsake her. " Besides," calamity, thought the worst was about to be- she said, after a pause, during which she fall, and running up to her husband, besought looked as pretty and happy as any young her dearest George to tell her every tiring woman need, "isn't two- thousand pounds -he was ordered abroad; there would be a an immense deal of money, George?" battle next week-she knew there would. George laughed at her naYvete; and Dearest George parried the question about finally they went down to dinner, Amelia foreign service, and with a melancholy shake clinging on George's arm, still warbling the of his head, said, " No, Emmy; it isn't that: tune of " Wipping Old Stairs," and more it's not myself I care about: it's you. 1 pleased and light of mind than she had been have had bad news fiom my father. He for some days past. refuses any communication with me; he has Thus the repast, which at length came flung us off; and leaves us to poverty. I off, instead of being dismal, was an exceedcan rough it well enough; but you, my dear, ingly brisk and merry one. The excitement how will you bear it? read here. And he of the campaign counteracted in George's handed her over the letter. mind the depression occasioned by the disAmelia, with a look of tender alarm in her inheriting letter. Dobbin still kept up his eyes, listened to her noble hero as he utter- character of rattle. He amused the comed the above generous sentiments, and sit- pany with accounts of the army in Belgium, ting down on the bed, read the letter which where nothinig but f6tes and gayety and George gave her with such a pompous, mar- fashion were going on. Then, having a tyr-like air. Her face cleared up as she particular end in view, this dexterous capread the document, however. The idea of tain proceeded to describe Mrs. Major sharing poverty and privation in company O'Dowd, packing her own and her major's with the beloved object, is, as we have be- wardrobe, and how his best epaulets had fore said, far fiom being disagreeable to a been stowed into a tea canister, while her warm-hearted woman. The notion was act- own famous yellow turban, with the bird of nally pleasant to little Amelia. Then, -as paradise, wrapped in brown paper, was usual, she was ashamed of herself for feel- locked up in the major's tin cocked-hat ing happy at such an indecorous moment, case, and wondered what effect it would and checked her pleasure, saying demurely, have at the French king's court at Ghent, " O, George, how your poor heart must or the great military balls at Brussels. bleed at the idea of being separated from " Ghent! Brussels!" cried out Amelia your papa." with a sudden shock and start. "Is the " It does," said George, with an agonized regiment ordered away, George-is it orcountenance. dered away?" A look of terror came over 1" But he can't be angry with you long," the sweet smiling face, and she clung to she continued. " Nobody could, I'm sure. George as by an instinct. He must forgive you, my dearest, kindest "Don't' be afraid, dear," he said goodhusband. 0, I shall never forgive myself if naturedly; "it is but a twelve hour's passhe does not." age. It won't hurt you. You shall go, too,," What vexes me, my poor Emmy, is Emmy." not my misfortune, but yours," George said. "I intend to go," said Becky, "I'm on "I don't care for a little poverty; and I the staff. General Tufto is a great flirt of think, without vanity, I've talents enough mine. Is'nt he, Rawdon?" to make my own way." Rawdon laughed out with his usual roar. "That you have," interposed his wife, WilliamDobbinflushed upquite red. "She who thought that war should cease, and her can't go," he said; " think of the-of the husband should be made a general instantly. danger," he was going to add: but had not 120 VANITY FAIR. all his conversation during dinner-time tend- alacrity, while Osborne lay in bed deploring ed to prove there was none? He became that she had not a maid to help her. She very confused and silent. was only too glad, however, to perform this " I must and will go," Amelia cried with office for herself. A dim uneasy sentiment the greatest spirit; and George, applauding about Rebecca filled her mind already; and her resolution, patted her under the chin, although they kissed each other most tenand asked all the persons present if they deoly at parting, yet we know what jealousy ever saw such a termagant of a wife, and is; and Mrs. Amelia possessed that among agreed that the lady should bear him com- other virtues of her sex. pany.'We'll have Mrs. O'Dowd to chaperon you," he said. What cared she so Besides these characters who are coming long as her husband was near her? Thus and going away, we must remember that somehow the bitterness of a parting was there were some other old friends of ours at juggled away. Though war and danger Brighton; Miss Crawley, namely, and the wvere in store, war and danger might not suite in attendance upon her. NEow, albefall for months to come. There was a though Rebecca and her husband were but respite at any rate, which made the timid at a few stones' throw of the lodgings which little Amelia almost as happy as a full re- the invalid Miss Crawley occupied, the old prieve would have done, and which even lady's door remained as piteously closed to Dobbin owned in his heart was very wel- them as it had been heretofore in London. come. For, to be permitted to see her was As long as she remained by the side of her now the greatest privilege and hope of his sister-in-law, Mrs. Bute Crawley took care life, and he thought with himself secretly that her beloved Matilda should not be agihow lie would watch and protect her. I tated by a meeting with her nephew. When wouldn't have let her go if I had been mar- the spinster took her drive, the faithful Mrs. tied to her, he thought. But George was Bute sat beside her in the carriage. When the master, and his fiiend did not think fit to Miss Crawley took the air in a chair, Mrs. remonstrate. Bute marched on one side of the vehicle, Putting her arm round her fiiend's waist, while honest Briggs occupied the other wing. Rebecca at length carried Amelia off from And if they met Rawdon and his wife by the dinner-table where so much business of chance-although the former constantly and importance had been discussed, and left the obsequiously took off his hat, the Miss. Crawgentlemen in a highly exhilarated state, ley party passed him by with such a frigid drinking and talking very gayly. and killing indifference, that Rawdon began In the course of the evening Rawdon got to despair. a little family-note fiom his wife, which, "We might as well be in London as although he crumpled it up and burned it here," Captain Rawdon often said, with a instantly in the candle, we had the good luck downcast air. to read over Rebecca's shoulder. " Great "A comfortable inn in Brighton is better news," she wrote. " Mrs. Bute is gone. than a spunging-house in Chancery-lane," Get the money from Cupid to-night, as he'll his wife answered, who was of a more be off to-nmorrow most likely. Mind this.- cheerful temperament. "Think of those R." So when the little company was about two aids-de-camp of Mr. Moses, the sheriff's adjourning to coffee in the women's apart- officer, who watched our lodging for a week. ment, Rawdon touched Osborne on the el- Our friends here are very stupid, but Mr. bow, and said gracefully, "I say, Osborne, Jos and Captain Cupid are better companmy boy, if quite convenient, I'll trouble you ions than Mr. Moses's men, Rawdon, my for that'ere small trifle." It was not quite love." convenient, but nevertheless George gave " I wonder the writs haven't followed me him a considerable present installment in down here," Rawdon continued, still debank notes from his pocket-book, and a bill spending. on his agents at a week's date, for the re- "When they do, we'll find means to give maining sum. them the slip," said dauntless little Becky, This matter arranged, George, and Jos, and further pointed out to her husband the and Dobbin, held a council of war over their great comfort and advantage of meeting Jos cigars, and agreed that a general move should and Osborne, whose acquaintance had brought be made for London in Jos's open carriage to Rawdon Crawley a most timely little supthe next day. Jos, I think, would have pre- ply of ready money. ferred staying until Rawdon Crawley quitted "It will hardly be enough to pay the inn Brighton, but Dobbin and George overruled bill," grumbled the guardsman. him, and lie agreed to carry the party to " WThy need we pay it?" said the lady, town, and ordered four horses, as became who had an answer for every thing. his dignity. With these they set off in Through Rawdon's valet, who still kept state, after breakfast, the next day. Amelia up a trifling acquaintance with the male inhad risen very early in the morning, and habitants of Miss Crawley's servants' hall, packed her little trunks with the greatest and was instructed to treat the coachman to A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 121 drink whenever they met, old Miss Craw- promised to return to her dearest fiiend, ley's movements were pretty well known by and departed, leaving the strongest injuncour young couple; and Rebecca luckily be- tions with the household regarding their thought herself of being unwell, and of call- behavior to their mistress; and as soon as ing in the same apothecary who was in at- she got into the Southampton coach, there tendance upon the spinster, so that their in- was such a jubilee and sense of relief in all formation was on the whole tolerably com- Miss Crawley's house, as the -company of plete. Nor was Miss Briggs, although persons assenlbled there had not experienced forced to adopt a hostile attitude, secretly for many a week before. That very day inimical to Rawdon and his wife. She was Miss Crawley left off her afternoon dose of naturally of a kindly and forgiving disposi- medicine: that afternoon Bowls opened an tion. Now that the cause ofjealousy was lre- independent bottle of Sherry for himself and moved, her dislike for Rebecca disappeared Mrs. Firkin; that night Miss Crawley and also, and she remembered the latter's inva- Miss Briggs indulged in a game of piquet riable good words and good hulmor. And, instead of one of Porteus'ssermons. It was indeed, she and Mrs. Firkin, the lady's- as in' the old nursery-story, when the stick maid, and the whole of Miss Crawley's forgot to beat the dog, and the whole course household, secretly groaned under the tyran- of events underwent a peaceful and happy ny of the triumphant Mrs. Bute. revolution. As often will be the case, that good but im- At a very early hour in the morning, perious woman pushed heradvantages too filr, twice or thrice a week, Miss Briggs used to and her successes quite unmercifully. She betake herself to a bathing-machine, and dishad in the course of a few weeks brought port in the water in a flannel gown, and an the invalid to such a state of helpless docili- oilskin cap. Rebecca, as we have seen, was ty, that the poor soul yielded herself entire- aware of this circurnstance, and though she ly to her sister's orders, and, did not even did not attempt to storm Briggs as she had dare to complain of her slavery to Briggs or threatened, and actually dive into the lady's Firkin. Mrs. Bute measured out the presence and surprise her under the sacredglasses of wine which Miss Crawley was ness of the awning, Mrs. Rawdon determindaily allowed to take with irresistible accu- ed to attack Briggs as she came away from racy, greatly to the annoyance of Firkin and her bath, refreshed and invigorated by her the butler, who found themselves deprived dip, and likely to be in good ]humor. of control over even the sherry-bottle. She So, getting up very early the next mornapportioned the sweet-breads, jellies, chick- ing, Becky brought the telescope in their ens; the quantity and order. Night and sitting-room, which faiced the sea, to beat noon and morning she brought the abomin- upon the bathing-machines on the beach; able drinks ordained by the doctor, and made saw Briggs arrive, enter her box, and put her patient swallow them with so affecting out to sea; and was on the shore just as the an obedience, that Firkin said 1" my poor nymph of whom she came in quest stepped missus du take her physic like a lamb." out of the little caravan on to the shingles. She prescribed the drive in the carriage or It was a pretty picture: the beach; the the ride in the chair, and, in a word, ground bathing-women's faces; the long line of down the old lady in her convalescence in rocks and building were blushing and bright such a way as only belongs to your proper- in the sunshine. Rebecca wore a kind, tenmanaging, motherly, moral, woman. If ever der smile on her face, and was holding out the patientfaintly resisted, and pleaded for her pretty white hand as Briggs enmerged a little bit more dinner or a little drop less from the box. What could Briggs do but medicine, the nurse threatened her with in- accept the salutation? stantaneous death, when Miss Crawley in- " Miss S1 —, IMrs. Crawley," she said stantly gave in. "She's no spirit left in Mrs. Crawley seized her hand, pressed it her," Firkin remarked to Briggs; "she to her heart, and with a sudden impulse, ain't ave called me a fool these three weeks." flinging her arms round Briggs, kissed her Finally, Mrs. Burte had made up her mind affectionately. "Dear, dear friend!" she to dismiss the aforesaid honest lady's-maid, said, with a touch of such natural feeling, that Mr. Bowls, the large confidential man, and Miss Briggs, of course, at once began to melt, Briggs herself, and to send for her daughters and even the bathing-woman was mollified. from the Rectory, previous to removing the Rebecca found no difficulty in engaging dear invalid bodily to Queen's Crawley, Briggs in a long, intimate, and delightful when an odious accident happened which conversation. Every thing that had passed called her away from duties so pleasing. since the morning of Becky's sudden deThe Reverend Bute Crawley her husband, parture fiom Miss Crawley's house in Park riding home one, night, fell with his horse, Lane up to the present day, and Mrs. Bute's and broke his collar-bone. Fever and in- happy retreat, was discussed and described flammatory symptoms set in, and Mrs. Bute by Briggs. All Miss Crawley's symptoms. was forced to leave Sussex for Hampshire. and the particulars of her illness and med As soon as ever Bute was restored she ical treatment, were narrated by the confil 1.22 VANITY FAIR. dante with that fullness and accuracy which had made the match between Ktawdon and women delight in. About their complaints Rebecca. Yet, though the latter was a perand their doctors do ladies ever tire of talk- fectly innocent victim, Miss Briggs could not Ing to each other? Briggs did not on this disguise from her friend her fear that Miss occasion; nor did Rebecca weary of listen- Crawley's affections were hopelessly esing. She was thankful, truly thankful, that tranged fiom Rebecca, and that the old lady the dear kind Briggs, that the faithful, the would never forgive her nephew for making invaluable Firkin, had been permitted to re- so imprudent a marriage. main with their benefactress through her On this point Rebecca had her own opinillness. Heaven bless her! though she, ion, and still kept up a good heart. If Miss Rebecca, had seemed to act undutifully Crawley did not forgive them at present, toward. Miss Crawley; yet, was not her she might ate least relent on a future day. fault a natural and excusable one? Could Even now, there was only that puling, sickly she help giving her hand to the man who Pitt Crawley between Rawdon-and a baronhad won her heart? Briggs, the senti- etcy; and, should any thing happen to the mental, coufd only turn -up her eyes to heav- former, all would be well. At all events, to en at this appeal, and heave a sympathetic have Mrs. Bute's designs exposed, and hersigh, and think that she, too, had given away self well abused, was a satisfaction, and her affections long years ago, and own that might be advantageous to Rawdon's interest; Rebecca was no very great criminal. and Rebecca, after an hour's chat with her " Can I ever forget her who so befriend- recovered friend, left her with the most tened the friendless orphan? No, though she der demonstrations of regard, and quite ashas cast me off," the latter said, "I shall sured that the conversation they had had tonever cease to love her, and I would devote gether would be reported to Miss Crawley my life to her service. As my own bene- before many hours were over. factress, as my beloved Rawdon's adored This interview ended, it became full time relative, I love and admire Miss Crawley, for Rebecca to return to her inn, where all dear Miss Briggs, beyond any woman in the the party of the previous day were assemaworld, and next to her I love all those who bled at a farewell breakfast. Rebecca took are faithful to her. I would never have such a tender leave of Amelia as became two treated Miss Crawley's faithful fiiends as women who loved each other as sisters; that odious, designing Mrs. Bute had done. and having used her handkerchief plentiRawdon, who was all heart," Rebecca con- fully, and hung on her friend's neck as if tinued, "although his outward manners they were parting forever, and waved the might seem rough and careless, had said a handkerchief (which was quite dry, by the hundred times, with tears in his eyes, that way) out of window, as the carriage drove he blessed heaven for sending his dearest off; she came back to the,breakfast-table, aunty two such admirable nurses as her at- and ate some prawns with a good deal of aptached Firkin and her admirable Miss Briggs. petite, considering her emotion; and while Should the machinations of the horrible she was munching these delicacies, explained Mrs. Bute end, as she too much feared they to Rawdon what had occurred in her mornwould, in banishing every body that Miss ing walk between herself and Briggs. HeI Crawley loved from her side, and leaving hopes were very high: she made her busthat poor lady a victim to those harpies at band share them. She generally succeeded the Rectory, Rebecca besought her (Miss in making her husband share all her opinions, Briggs) to remember, that her own home, whether melancholy or cheerful. humble as it was, was always open to re- "You will now, if you please, my dear, ceive Briggs. "Dear friend," she exclaimed, sit down at the writing-table and pen me a in a transport of enthusiasm,'" some hearts pretty little letter to Miss Crawley, in which can never forget benefits; all women are not you'll say that you are a good boy, and that Bute Crawleys! Though why should I sort of thing." So. Rawdon sat down, and complain of her," Rebecca added, "though wrote off, " Brighton, Thursday," and' My I have been her tool and the victim to her dear Aunt," with great rapidity: but there arts, do I not owe my dearest Rawdon to the gallant officer's imagination failed lliln. her?" And Rebecca unfolded to Briggs all -Ie mumbled the end of his pen, and looked Mrs. Bute's conduct at Queen's Crawley, up in his wife's face. She could not help which, though unintelligible to her then, was laughing at his rueful countenance, and, clearly enough explained by the events now marching up and down the room with her -now that the attachment had sprung up hands behind her, the little woman began to which Mrs. Bute had encouraged by a dictate a letter, which he took down. thousand artifices-now that two innocent "Before quitting the country and compeople had fallen into the snares which she mencing a campaign, which very possibly had laid for them, and loved, and married, may be fatal," and been ruined, through her schemes. " What?" said Rawdon, rather sur It was all very true. Briggs saw the prised, but took the humor of the phrase, stratagems as clearly as possible. Mrs. Bute and presently wrote it down with a grin. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 121 "Which very possibly may be fatal, I have They all want -me dead, and are hankering come hither-" for my money. "WVhy not say come here, Becky; come "I don't mind seeing Rawdon," she addhere's grammar," the dragoon interposed. ed, after a pause, and in a tone of perfect "I have come hither," Rebecca insisted, indifference. " I htad just as soon shake with a stamp of her foot, "to say farewell hands with him as: not. Provided there is to my dearest and earliest friend. I beseech no scene, why shouldn't we meet? I don't v.ou before I go, not perhaps to return, once mind. But human patience has its limits; more to let me press the hand from which and mind, my dear, I respectfully decline to [ have received nothing but kindnesses all receive Mrs. Rawdon-I can't support that my life." quite"-and Miss Briggs was fain to be con"Kindnesses all my life," echoed Raw- tent with this half-message of conciliation; don, scratching down the words, and quite and thought that the best method of bringing amazed at his own facility of composition. the old lady and her nephew together, was " I ask nothing from you but that we to warn Rawdon to be in waiting on the Cliff, should part not in anger. I have the pride when Miss Crawley went out for her air in of my family on some points, though not on her chair. all. I married a painter's daughter, and am There they met. I don't know whether not ashamed of the union." Miss Crawley had any private feeling of re" No, run me through the body if I am!" gard, or emotion upon seeing her old favorRawdon ejaculated. ite; but she held out a couple of fingers to " You old booby," Rebecca said, pinching him with as smiling and good-humored an his ear and looking over to see that he made air, as if they had met only the day before. no mistakes in spelling-" beseech is not And as for Rawdon, he turned as red as spelt with an a, and earliest is." So he al- scarlet, and wrung off Briggs's hand, so tered these words, bowing to the superior great was his rapture and his confusion at knowledge of his little missis. the meeting. Perhaps it was interest that " I thought that you were aware of the moved him: or perhaps affection: perhaps progress of my attachment," Rebecca con- he was touched by the change which the tinued: "1 knew that Mrs. Bute Crawley illness of the last weeks had wrought in his confirmed and encouraged it. But I make aunt. no reproaches. I married a poor woman, "The old girl has always acted like a and am content to abide by what I have trump to me," he said to his wife, as he done. Leave your property, dear aunt, as narrated the interview, "and I felt. you you will. Ishall never complain of the way know, rather queer, and that sort of thing. in which you dispose of it. I would have I walked by the side of the what-d'ye-callyou believe that I love you for yourself, and'em, you know, and to her own door, where not for money's sake. I want to be recon- Bowls came to help: her in. And I wanted ciled to you ere I leave England. Let me, to go in very much, only —" let me see you before I go. A few weeks " You didn't go in, Rawdon!" screamnea or months hence it may be too late, and I his wife. can not bear the notion of quitting the coun- "No, my dear, I'm hanged if I wasn't try without a kind word of farewell from afraid when it came to the point." you." "You fool! you ought to have gone in, i; She won't recognize my style in that," and never come out again," Rebecca said. said Becky. "I made the sentences short "IDon't call me names," said the big and brisk on purpose." And this authentic guardsman, sulkily. "Perhaps I was a missive was dispatched under cover to Miss fool, Becky, but you shouldn't say so;" and Briggs. he gave his wife a look, such as his counteOld Miss Crawley laughed when B3riggs nance could wear when angered, and such with great mystery handed her over this as was not pleasant to face. candid and simple statement. " We may; "Well, dearest, to-morrow you must be read it now Mrs. Bute is away," she said. on the look-out, and go and see her, mind, "Read it to me, Briggs." whether she asks you or no," Rebecca said, When Briggs had read the epistle out, trying to soothe her angry yoke-mate. On her patroness laughed more. "Don't you which he replied, that he would do exactly see, you goose," she said to Briggs, who as he liked, and would just thank her to keep professed to be much touched by the honest a civil tongue in her head —and the wounded affection which pervaded the composition, husband went away, and passed the fore"Don't you see that Rawdon never wrote a noon at the billiard-room, sulky, silent, and word of it. He never wrote to me without suspicious. asking for money in his life, and all his letters are full of bad spelling, and dashes, and But before the night was over he was bad grammar. It is that little serpent of a compelled to give in, and own, as usual, to governess who rules him." They are all his wife's superior prudence and foresight, alike, Miss Crawley thought in her heart. by the most melancholyv confirmation of the 124 VANITY FAIR presentiments which she had regarding the -all"-and with this the lonely old woman consequences of the mistake which he had burst into a scream of hysterical tears. made. Miss Crawley must have had some The last scene of her dismal Vanity Fair emotion upon seeing him and shaking hands comedy was fast approaching; the tawdry with him after so long a rupture. She lamps were going out one by one; and the mused upon the meeting aconsiderable time. dark curtain was almost ready to descend. " Rawdon is getting very fat and old, Briggs," That final paragraph, which referred Rawshe said to her companion. " His nose has don to Miss Crawley's solicitor in London, become red, and he is exceedingly coarse in and which Briggs had written so good-naappearance. H1is marriage to that woman turedly, consoled the dragoon and his wife has hopelessly vulgarized him. Mrs. Bute somewhat, after their first blank disappointalways said they drank together; and I have ment, on reading the spinster's refusal of a no doubt they do. Yes; he smelt of gin reconciliation. And it effected the purpose abominably. I remarked it. Didn't you?" for which the old lady had caused it to be In vain Briggs interposed, that Mrs. Bute written, by making Rawdon very eager to spoke ill of every body: and, as far as a get to London. person in her humble position could judge, Out of Jos's losings and George Osborne's was an- bank-notes, he paid his bill at the inn, the " An artful designing woman? Yes, so landlord whereof does not probably know to she is, and she does speak ill of every one, this day how doubtfully his account once -but I am certain that woman has made stood. For, as a general sends his baggage Rawdon drink. All those low people do-" to the rear before an action, Rebecca had "He was very much affected at seeing wisely packed up all their chief valuables you, ma'am," the companion said; and I am and sent them off under care of George's sure, when you remember that he is going servant, who went in charge of the trunks to the field of danger-" on the coach back to London. Rawdon and "How much money has he promised you, his wife returned by the same conveyance Briggs?" the old spinster cried out, working next day. herself into a nervous rage —" there now, of "I should have liked to see the old girl course you begin to cry. I hate scenes. before we went," Rawdon said. "' She'Why am I always to be worried? Go and looks so cut up and altered that I'm sure cry up in your own room, and send Firkin she can't last long. I wonder what sort of a to me-no, stop, sit down and blow your check I shall have at Waxy's. Two hunnose, and leave off crying, and write a letter dred-it can't be less than two hundredto Captain Crawley." Poor Briggs went hey, Becky?" and placed herself obediently at the writing- In consequence of the repeated visits of book. Its leaves were blotted all over with the gentlemen of whose attentions we have relics of the firm, strong, rapid hand-writing spoken in a preceding page, Rawdon and of the spinster's late amanuensis, Mrs. Bute his wife did not go back to their lodgings at Crawley. Brompton, but put up at an inn. Early the "' Begin' Mly dear sir,' or' Dear sir,' that next morning, Rebecca had an opportunity will be better, and say you are desired by of seeing themn as she skirted that suburb on Miss Crawley-no, by Miss Crawley's medi- her road to old Mrs. Sedley's house at Fulcal man, by Mr. Creamer, to state, that my ham, whither she went to look for her dear health is such that all strong emotions would Amelia and her Brighton friends. They be dangerous in my present delicate condi- were all off to Chatham, thence to Harwich, tion-and that I must decline any family to take shipping for Belgium with the regidiscussions or interviews whatever. And ment-kind old Mrs. Sedley very much dethank him for coming to Brighton, and so pressed and tearful, solitary. Rleturning forth, and beg him not to stay any longer on from this visit, Rebecca found her husband, my account. And, Miss Briggs, you may who had been off to Gray's Inn, and learned add that I wish him a bon voyage, and that his fate. He came back furious. if he will take the trouble to call upon my " By Jove, Becky," says he, "she's only lawyers in Gray's Inn Square, he will find given me twenty pounds!" there a communication for him. Yes, that Though it told against themselves, the will do; and that will make him leave Brigh- joke was too good, and Becky ourst out ton." The benevolent Briggs penned this laughing at Rawdon's discomfiture sentence with the utmost satisfaction. " To seize upon me the very day after Mrs. Bute was gone," the old lady prattled on; "' it was too indecent Briggs, my dear, CHAPTER XXVI. write to Mrs. Crawley, and say she needn't BETWEEN LONDON AND CHATHAM. come back. No —she needn't-and she shan't-and I won't be a slave in my own ON quitting B3righton, our friend George. house-and I won't be starved and.choked as became a person of rank and fashion, with poison. They all want to kill me-all traveling in a barouche with foul r -s'es, A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 125 drove in state to a fine hotel in Cavendish- when he had taken wine enough, he went square, where a suite of splendid rooms, off to half-price at the play, to see Mr. Kear and a table magnificently furnished with perform in Shylock. Captain Osborne was plate and surrounded by a half-dozen of a great lover of the dramna, and had himblack and silent waiters, was ready to re- self performed high-comedy characters with ceive the young gentleman and his bride. great distinction in several garrison theatriGeorge did the honors of the place with a cal entertainments. Jos slept on till long princely air to Jos and Dobbin; and Amelia, after dark, when he woke up with a start for the first time, and with exceeding shy- at the motions of his servant, who was re. ness and timidity, presided at what George moving and emptying the decanters on the called her own table. table; and the hackney-coach stand was George pooh-poohed the wine and bullied again put into requisition for a carriage to the waiters royally, and Jos gobbled the convey this stout hero to his lodgings and turtle with immense satisfaction. Dobbin bed. helped him to it; for the lady of the house, before whom the tureen was~placed, was so Mrs. Sedley, you may be sure, clasped ignorant of the contents, that she was going her daughter to her heart with all maternal to help Mr. Sedley without bestowing upon eagerness and affection, running out of thehim either calipash or calipee. door as the carriage drew up before the little The splendor of the entertainment, and garden-gate, to welcome the weeping, tremnthe apartments in which it was given, alarm- bling young bride. Old Mr. Clapp, who was ed Mr. iDobbin, who remonstrated after din- in his shirt-sleeves, trimming the gardenner, when Jos was asleep in the great chair. plot, shrank back alarmed. The Irish serBut, in vain he cried out against the enor- vant-lass rushed up from the kitchen and mity of turtle and champagne that was fit smiled a' God bless you.' Amelia could for an archbishop. " I've always been ac- hardly walk along the flags and up the steps customed to travel like a gentleman," George into the parlor. said, "and, damme, my wife shall travel How the floodgates were opened, and like a lady. As long as there's a shot in the mother and daughter wept, when they were locker, she shall want nothing," said the gen- together embracing each other in this sancerous fellow, quite pleased with himself for tuary, nmay readily be imagined by every his'magnificence of spirit. Nor did Dobbin rdader who possesses the least sentimental try to convince him, that Amelia's happiness turn. When don't ladies weep? At what was not centered in turtle-soup. occasion of joy, sorrow, or other business of A while after dinner, Amelia timidly ex- life? and, after such an event as a marriage, pressed a wish to go and see her mamma, mother and daughter were surely at liberty at Fulham; which permission George grant- to give way to a sensibility which is as tened her with some grumbling. And she trip- der as it is refireshing. About a question of ped away to her enormous bed-room, in the marriage I have seen women who hate each center of which stood the enormous fune- otherkissand crytogetherquitelfondly. How real bed,' that the Emperor Halixander's much more do they feel when they love!. sister slep in when the allied sufferings was Good mothers are married over again at their here,' and put on her little bonnet and shawl daughters' weddings: and as for subsequent with the utmost eagerness and pleasure. events, who does not know how ultra-materGeorge was still drinking claret when she nal grandmothers are? in fact a woman, returned to the dining-room, and made no until she is a grandmother, does not often signs of moving. " Ar'n't you coming with really know what to be a mothle' is. Let me, dearest?" she asked him. No; the us respect Amelia and her mamma whisper-'dearest'. had' business' that night. His ing and whimpering and laughing and crying man should get her a coach and go with her. in the parlor and the- twilight. Old Mr. And the coach being at the door of the hotel, Sedley did. He had not divined who was Amelia made George a little disappointed in the carriage when it drove up. He had courtesy, after looking vainly into his face not flown out to meet his daughter, though once or twice, and went sadly down the he kissed hervery warmlywhen she entered great staircase, Captain Dobbin after, who the room (where lie was occupied, as usual, handed her into the vehicle, and saw it drive with his papers and tapes and statements of away to its destination. The very valet was accounts), and after sitting with the mother ashamed of mentioning the addrless to the and daughter for a short time, he very wisely hackney-coachman before the hotel-waiters, left the little apartment in their possession. and promised to instruct him when they got George's valet was looking on in a very further on. supercilious manneri at Mr. Clapp in his Dobbin walked home to his old quarters shirt-sleeves, watering his rose-bushes. He at the Slaughter's, thinking, very likely, that took off his hat, however, with much conit would be delightful to be in that hackney- descension to Mr. Sedley, who asked news coach, along with Mrs. Osborne. George about his son-in-law, and about Jos's carwas evidently of quite a different taste; for riage, and whether his horlses had been down 126 VANITY FAIR. to Brighton, and about that infernal traitor had occupied before her marriage, and in that Blonaparty, and the war; until the Irish very chair in which she had passed so many maid-servant came with a plate and a bottle bitter hours. She sank back in its arms as of wine, from which the old gentleman in- if it were an old friend; and fell to thinking sisted upon helping the valet. He gave him over the past week, and the life beyond it. aL half-guinea too, which the servant pocketed Already to be looking sadly and vaguely back wi.th a mixturef of wonder and contempt. -always to be pining for something which, "To tile health of your master and mis- when obtained, brought doubt and sadness tress, Trotter," Mr. Sedley said, " and here's rather than pleasure: here was the lot of our scmething to drink your health when you get poor little creature, ind harmless lost wanhome, Trotter." derer in the great struggling crowds of Vanity There were but nine days past since Ame- Fair. lia had left that little cottage and home-and Here she sate, and recalled to herself fondyet how far off the time seemed since she ly that image of George to which she had had bidden it farewell. What a gulf lay be- knelt before marriage. Did she own to hertween her and that past life. She could self how different the real man was from that look back to it from her present standing- superb young hero whom she had worshipplace, and contemplate, almost as another ed Th:It requires many, many years-and a being, the young unmarried girl absorbed in man must be very bad indeed; before a womher love, having no eyes but for one special an's pride and vanity will let her own to object, receiving parental affection if not un- such a confession/11. Then Rebecca's twinkgratefully, at least indifferently, and as if it ling green eyes and baleful smile lighted upwere her due-her whole heart and thoughts on her, and filled her with dismay. And so bent on the accomplishment of one desire, she sate for a while indulging in her usual The review of those days, so lately gone yet mood of selfish brooding, in that very listless so far away, touched her with shame; and melancholy attitude in which the honest the aspect of the kind mother filled her with maid-servant had found her, on the day when tender remorse. Was the prize gained- she brought up the letter in which George the heaven of life-and the winner still doubt- renewed his offer of marriage. ful and unsatisfied? As his hero and hero- She looked at the little white bed, which ine pass the matrimonial barrier, the novelist had been hers a few days before, and generally drops the curtain, as if the drama thought she would like to sleep in it that were over then: the doubts and struggles of night, and wake, as formerly, with her life ended: as if, once landed in the marriage mother smilina over her in the morning. country, ail were green and pleasant there: Then she thought with terror of the great and wife and husband had nothing but to funereal damask pavilion in the vast- and link each other's arms togtther, and wander dingy state bed-roomn. which was- awaiting gently downward toward old age in happy her at the grand hotel in Cavendish-square. and perfect fruition. But our little Amelia Dear, little white bed! how many a long was just on the bank of her new country, night had she wept on its pillow! How and was already looking anxiously back to- she had despaired and hoped to die there; ward the sad, firiendly figures waving fare- and now were not all her wishes accomwvell to her across the stream, friom tho obher plished, and the lover of whom she had iistant shore. despaired her own forever? Kind mother! In honor of the young bride's arrival, her how patiently and tenderly she had watched mother thought it necessary to prepare I round that bed! She went and knelt down don't know what festive entertainment, and by the bed-side; and there this wounde' after the first ebullition of talk, took leave of and timorous, but gentle and loving soul, Mrs. George Osborne for awhile, and dived sought for consolation, where as yet, it down to the lower regions of the house to a must be owned, our little girl had but selsort of kitchen-parlor (occupied by Mr. and dorn looked for it. Love had been her Mrs. Clapp, and in the evening, when her faith hitherto; and the sad, bleeding, disdishes were washed and her curl-papers re- appointed heart, began to feel the want of moved, by Miss Flannigan the Irish servant), another consoler. there to take measures for the preparing of Have we a right to repeat or to overhear a magnificent ornamented tea. All people her prayers? These, brother, are secrets, have their ways of expressing kindness, and and out of the domain of Vanity Fair, in it seemed to Mrs. Sedley that a muffin and which our story lies. a quantity of orange marmalade spread out B, ut this may be said, that when the tea in a little cut-glass saucer would be peculiarly was finally announced, our young lady carne agreeable refreshments to Amelia in her most down stairs a great deal more cheerful; interesting situation. that she did not despond, or deplore her While these delicacies were being trans- fate, or think about George's coldness, or acted below, Amelia, leaving the drawing- Rebecca's eyes, as she had been wont to do room, walked up stairs and found herself, of late. She went down stairs, and kissed she scarce knew how, in the little room she her father and mother, and talked to the A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 127 oldh qentleman, and made hir(t more merry gle. Margate packets were sailing every that he had been for many a day. She day, filled with men of fashion and ladies sate down at the piano which Dobbin had of note, on their way to Brussels and Ghent. bought for her, and sang over all her father's People were going not so much to a war as favorite old songs. She pronounced the tea to a fashionable tour. The newspapers to be excellent, and praised the exquisite laughed the wretched upstart and swindler taste in which the marmalade was arranged to scorn. Such a Corsican wretch as that in the saucers. And in determining to make withstand the armies of Europe and the every body else happy, she found herself genius of the immortal Wellington! Ameso; and Was sound asleep in the great fune- lia held him in utter contemnpt; for it needs real pavilion, and only woke up with a smile not to be said that this soft and gentle when George arrived from the theater. creature took her opinions from those people For the next day, George had more im- who surrounded her, such fidelity being portant "' business" to transact than that much too humble-minded to think for itself. which took him to see Mr. Kean in Shy- Well, in a word, she and her mother perlock. Immediately on his arrival in London formed a great day's shopping, and she ache had written off to his father's solicitors, quitted herself with considerable liveliness signifying his royal pleasure that an inter- and credit on this her first appearance in the view should take place between them on genteel world of London. the morrow. His hotel losses at billiards George meanwhile, with his hat on one and. cards to Captain Crawley had almost side, his elbows squared, and his swaggering drained the young man's purse, which want- martial air, made for Bedford-row, and stalked replenishing before he set out on his ed into the attorney's ofiices as if he was travels, and he had no resource but to in- lord of every pale-faced clerk who was fringe upon the two thousand pounds which scribbling there. He ordered somebody to the attorneys were commissioned to pay inform Mr. Higgs that Captain Osborne was over to him. He had a perfect belief in his waiting, in a fierce and patronizing way, as own mind that his father would relent be- if the peklin of an attorney, who had thrice fore very long. How could any parent be his brains, fifty times his money, and a thouobdurate for a length of time against such a sand times his experience, was a wretched paragon ae he was? If his mere past and underling who should instantly leave all his personal merits did not succeed in mollifying business in life to attend on the captain's the father, George determined that he would pleasure. He did not see the sneer of distinguish himself so prodigiously in the contempt which passed all round the room, ensuing campaign that the old gentleman from the first clerk to the articled gents, Inust give in to him. And if not? Bah! from the articled gents to the ragged writers the world was before him. His luck might and white-faced runners, in clothes too tight change at cards, and there was a deal of for them, as he sate there tapping his boot spending in two thousand pounds. with his cane, and thinking what a parcel So he sent off Amelia once more in a car- of miserable poor devils these were. The riage to her mamma, with strict orders and miserable poor devils knew all about his carte blanche to the two ladies to purchase affairs. They talked about them over their every thing requisite for a lady of Mrs. pints of beer at their public-house clubs to George Osborne's fashion, who was going on other clerks of a night. Ye Gods, what do a foreign tour. They had but one day to not attorneys and attorneys' clerks know in complete the outfit, and it may be imagined London! Nothing is hidden from their inthat their business therefore occupied them quisition, and their familiars mutely rule our pretty fully. In a carriage once more, bust- city. ling about fiom milliner to linendraper, es- Perhaps George expected, when he encorted back to the carriage by obsequious tered Mr. Higgs's apartment, to find that shopmen or polite owners, Mrs. Sedley was gentleman commissioned to give him some herself again almost, and sincerely happy message of compromise or conciliation from for the first time since their misfortunes. his father; perhaps his haughty and cold Nor was Mrs. Amelia at all above the demeanor was adopted as a sign of his spirit pleasure of shopping, and bargaining, and and resolution; but if so, his fierceness was seeing and buying pretty things. (;Vould met by a chilling coolness and indifference any man, the most philosophic, give two- on the attorney's part, that rendered swagpence for a woman who was?) She gave gering absurd. He pretended to be writing herself a little treat, obedient to her hus- at a paper, when the captain entered. band's orders, and purchased a quantity of "Pray, sit down, sir," said he, "and I will lady's gear, showing a great deal of taste attend to your little affairin a momlent. Mrn. and elegant discernment, as all the shop- Poe, get the release papers, if you please;" folks said. and then he fell to writing again. And about the war that was ensuing, Mrs. Poe having produced those papers, his Osborne was not much alarmed; Bonaparty chief calculated the amount of two thousand was to be crushed almost without a strug- pounds stock at the rate of the day; and 128 VANITY FAIR. asked Captain Osborne whether he would nance of Captain Dobbin, who had been take the sum in a check upon the bankers, pacing the street for an hour past in exor whether he should direct the latter to pectation of his friends' arrival. The cappurchase stock to that amount. "One of tain, with shells on his frock-coat, and a the late Mrs. Osborne's trustees is out of crimson sash and saber, presented a military town," he said indifferently, " but my client appearance, which made Jos quite proud to wishes to meet your wishes, and have done be able to claim such an acquaintance, and with the business as quick as possible." the stout civilian hailed him with a cordiality "Give me a check, sir," said the captain very different fiom the reception which Jos verysumlily. " Damn the shillings and half- vouchsafed to his fiiends in Brighton and pence, sir," he added, as the lawyer was Bond-street. making out the amount of the draft; and, Along with the captain was Ensign Stubflattering himself that by this stroke of mag- ble; who, as the barouche neared the inn, nanimity he had put the old quiz to the blush, burst out with an exclamation of "By Jove! he stalked out of his office with the paper what a pretty girl!" highly applauding Osin his pocket. borne's choice. Indeed, Amelia dressed in " That chap will be in jail in two years," her wedding-pelisse and pink ribbons, with Mr. Jliggs said to Mr. Poe. a flush in her face, occasioned by rapid " W\on't 0. comle round, sir, don't you travel through the open air. looked so fiesh think?" and pretty, as fully to justify the ensign's " W\on't the monument come round," Mr. compliment. Dobbin liked him for making Higgs replied. it. As he stepped forward to help the lady "He's going it pretty fast," said the clerk. out of the carriage, Stubble saw what a pretty' He's only married a week, and I saw him little hand she gave him, and what a sweet and some other military chaps handing Mrs. pretty little foot came tripping down the Highflyer to her carriage after the play." step. He blushed profusely, and made the And then another case was called, and Mr. very best bow of which he was capable; to IGeorge Osborne thenceforth dismissed from which Amelia, seeing the number of the these worthy gentlemen's memory. -th regiment embroidered on the ensign's The draft was upon our fiiends Hulker cap, replied with a blushing smile, and a and Bullock of Lombard-street, to whose courtesy on her part; which finished the house, still thinking he was doing business, young ensign on the spot. Dobbin took George bent his way, and firom whom he most kindly to Mr. Stubble from that day, received his money. Frederick Bullock, and encouraged him to talk about Amelia in Esq., whose yellow face was over a ledger, their private walks, and at each other's at which sat a demure clerk, happened to be quarters. It became the fashion indeed in the banking-room when George entered. among all the honest young fellows of the His yellow face turned to a more deadly -th to adore and admire Mrs. Osborne. color when he saw the captain, and he slunk Her simple, artless behavior, and modest back guiltily into the inmost parlor. George kindness of demeanor, won all their unsowas too busy gloating over the money (for phisticated hearts; all which simplicity and he had never -had such a sum before), to sweetness are quite impossible to describe mark the countenance or flight of the ca- in print. But who has not beheld these daverous suitor of his sister. among women, and recognized the presence Fred. Bullock told old Osborne of his son's of all sorts of qualities in them, even though appearance and conduct. "' He came in as they say no more to you than that they are bold as brass," said Frederick.' "He has engaged to dance the next quadrille, or that drawn out every shilling. How long will a it is very hot weather? George, always few hundred pounds last such a chap as the champion of his regiment, rose immensely that?" Osborne swore with a great oath in the opinion of the youth of the corps, by that he little cared when or how soon he his gallantry in marrying this portionless spent it. Fred. dined every day in Russell- young creature, and by his choice of such a square now. But altogether, George was pretty, kind partner. highly pleased with his day's business. All In the sitting-room which was awaiting his own baggage and outfit was put into a the travelers, Amelia, to her surprise, found state of speedy preparation, and he paid a letter addressed to Mrs. Captain Osborne. hkmelia's purchases with checks on his agents, It was a triangular billet, on pink paper, and nnd widn the splendor of a lord. sealed with a dove and an olive branch, and a profusion of light-blue sealing wax, and it was written in a very large, though undeCHAPTER XXVII. cided female hand. " It's Peggy O'Dowd's fist," said George, IN WHICH AMELIA JOINS HER REGIMENT. laughing. " I know it by the. kisses on the TVrTIN Jos's fine carriage drove up to the seal." And in fact, it was a note fromn Mrs. nn door at Chatham, the first face which Major O'Dowd, requesting the pleasure of A melia recognized was the friendly counte- Mrs. Osborne's company that very evening A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 129 to a small friendly party.'" You must go," Walcheren ague never shook it. He walkGeorge said. "You will make acquaint- ed up to a battery with just as much indifance with the regiment there. O'Dowd ference as to a dinner-table; had dined on goes in command of the regiment, and Peggy horse-flesh and turtle with equal relish and goes in command of O'Dowd." appetite; and had an old mother, Mrs. But they had not been for many minutes O'Dowd of Dowdstown, indeed, whom he in the enjoyment of Mrs. O'Dowd's letter, had never disobeyed but when he ran away when the door was flung open, and a stout and enlisted, and when he persisted in marjolly, lady, in a riding-habit, followed by a Fying that odious Peggy Malony. couple of officers of Ours, entered the room. Peggy was one of five sisters, and eleven " Sure, I couldn't stop till tay-time. Pre- children of the noble house of Glenmalony; sent me, Garge, my dear fellow, to your but her husband, though her own cousin, lady. Madam, I'm deloighted to see ye; was of the mother's side, and so had not the and to present to you me husband, Meejor inestimable advantage of being allied to the O'Dowd;" and with this, the jolly lady in Maloneys, whom she believed to be the the riding-habit grasped Amelia's hand very most famous family in the world. Having warmly, and the latter knew at once that tried nine seasons at Dublin, and two at the lady was before her whom her husband Bath and Cheltenham, and not finding a had so often laughed.at. "You've often partner for life, Miss Maloney ordered her heard of me from that husband of yours," cousin Mick to marry her when she was said the lady with great vivacity. about thirty-three years of age; and the " You've often heard of her," echoed her honest fellow obeying, carried her off to the husband, the major. West Indies to preside over the ladies of the Amelia answered, smiling, that she cer- -th regiment, into which he had just extainly had. changed. "And small good he's told you of me," Before Mrs. O'Dowd was half an hour in Mrs. O'Dowd replied; adding that "George Amelia's (or indeed in any body else's) comwas a wicked divvle." pany, this amiable lady told all her birth and "That I'll go bail for," said the major, pedigree to her new friend. "My dear," trying to look knowing, at which George said she, good-naturedly, 1" it was my inten laughed; and Mrs. O'Dowd, with a tap of tion that Garge should be a brother of my her whip, told the major to be " quite;" and own, and my sister Glorvina would have then requested to be presented in form to suited him entirely. But as bygones are Mrs. Captain Osborne. bygones, and he was engaged to yourself, " This, my dear," said George with great why, I'm determined to take you as a sister gravity, "is my very good, kind, and excel- instead, and to look upon you as such, and lent friend, Auralia Margaretta, otherwise to love you as one of the family. Faith, called Peggy." you've got such a nice good-natured face "Faith, you're right," interposed the ma- and way widg you, that I'm sure we'll agree; jor. I and that you'll be an addition to our family " Otherwise called Peggy, lady of Major any way." tIichael O'Dowd of our regiment, and "'Deed and she will," said O'Dowd with laughter of Fitzjurld Ber'sford de Burgo an approving air, and Amelia falt herself not Malony of Glenmalony, County Kildare." a little amused and grateful to be thus sud"And Muryan-squeer, Doblin," said the denly introduced to so large a party -of relalady with calm superiority. tions. " And Muryan-square, sure enough," "We're all good fellows heroe," the major's the major whispered. lady continued. " There's not a regiment "'Twas there ye coorted me, meejor, in the service where you'll find a more united dear," the lady said; and the major assent- society nor a more* agreeable mess-room. ed to this as to every other proposition which There's no quarreling, bickering, slandtherwas made generally in company. ing, nor small talk among us. We all love Major O'Dowd, who had served his sov- each other." ereign in every quarter of the world, and " Especially Mrs. Magenis," said George, had paid for every step in his profession by laughing. some more than equivalent act of daring and " Mrs. Captain Magenis and me has made gallantry, was the most modest, silent, sheep- up, though her treatment of me would bring faced and meek of little men, and as obedient me gray hairs with sorrow to the grave." to his wife as if he had been her tay-boy. " And you with such a beautiful friont of At the mess-table he sate silently, and drank black, Peggy my dear," the major cried. a great deal. When full of liquor, he reeled "Hould your tongue, Mick, you booby. silently home. When he spoke it was to Them husbands ale always in the way, Mrs. agree with every body on every conceivable Osborne, my dear; and as for my Mick, I point; and he passed through life in perfect often tell him he should never open his ease and good humor. The hottest suns of mouth but to give the word of command, or India never heated his temper; and the to put meat and drink into it. I'll tell you,! 130 VANITY FAIR, about the regiment, and warn you when ways is, then-and has given th:LA ileutenanlt we're alone. Introduce me to your brother seven already. And Ensign Posky's wife, now; sure he's a mighty fine man, and re- who joined two months before you, my minds me of me cousin Dan Malony (Malony dear, has quarl'd with Tom Peosky a score of Ballymalony, my dear, you know, who of times, till you can hear'em all over the mar'ied Ophalia Scully, of Oystherstown, bar'ck (they say they're come to broken own cousin to Lord Poldoody). Mr. Sed- pleets, and Tom never accounted for his ley, sir, I'm deloighted to be made known to black oi), and she'll go back to her mother, ye. I suppose you'll dine at the mess to- who keeps a ladies' seminary at Richmond day. (Mind that divvle of a docther, Mick, -bad luck to her for running away firom and whatever ye du, keep yourself sober it! Where did ye get your finishing, my for me party this evening)." dear? I had moin, and no expince spared, "It's the 150th gives us a farewell dinner, at Madame Flanagan's, at Ilyssus Grove, my love," interposed the major, " but we'll Booterstown, near,Dublin, wid a marchioeasy get a card for Mr. Sedley." ness to teach us the true Parisian pronun" Run Simple (Ensign Simple, of Ours, ciation, and a retired major-general of the my dear Amelia. I forgot to introjuice him French service to put us through the exerto ye). Run in a hurry, with Mrs. Major cise." O'Dowd's compliments to Colonel Tavish, Of this incongruous family our astonished and Captain Osborne has brought his broth- Amelia found herself all of a sudden a memernlaw down, and will bring him to the 150th ber: with Mrs. O'Dowd as an elder sister. mess at five o'clock-sharp-when you and She was presented to her other fenale relaI, my dear, will take a snack here, if you tions at tea-time, on whom, as she was quiet, like." Before Mrs. O'Dowd's speech was good-natured, and not too handsome, she concluded, the young ensign was trotting made rather an agreeable impression until down stairs on his commission. the arrival of the gentlemen from the mess "Obedience is the soul of the army. We of the 150th, who all admired her so, that will go to our duty while Mrs. O'Dowd will her sisters began, of course, to find fault stay and enlighten you, Enmmy," Captain with her. Osborne said; and the two captains, taking "; I hope Osborne has sown his wild oats," each a wing of the major, walked out with said Mrs. Magenis to Mrs. Bunny. " If a that officer, grinning at each other over his reformed rake makes a good husband, sure head. it's she wil have the fine chance with Garge," And, now having her new friend to her- Mrs. O'Dowd, remarked to Posky, who had self, the impetuous Mrs. O'Dowd proceeded lost her position as bride in the regiment, to pour out such a quantity of information as and was quite angry with the usurper. And, no poor little woman's memory could ever as for Mrs. Kirk, the disciple of Dr. Ramlstax itself to bear. She told Amelia a thous- horn put one or two leading professional and particulars relative to the very numerous questions to Amelia, to see whether she family of which the amazed young lady found was awakened, whether she was a professherself a member. "Mrs. Heavytop, the ing Christian and so forth, and finding from colonel's wife, died in Jamaica of the yellow the simplicity of Mrs. Osborne's replies that faver and a broken heart comrnboined, for the she was yet in utter darkness, put into her horrud old colonel, with a head as bald as a hands three little penny books with piccannon-ball, was making sheep's eyes at a tures, viz., the "1 Howling Wilderness," the half-caste girl there. Mrs. Magenis, though'" Washerwoman of Wandsworth Common," without education, was a good woman, but and the "British Soldier's best Bayonet," she had the divvle's tongue, and would cheat which, bent upon awakening her before she her own mother at whist. Mrs. Captain slept, Mrs. Kirk begged Amelia to read that Kirk must turn up her lobster eyes forsooth night ere she went to bed. at the idea of an honest round game (wherein But all the men, like good fellows as they me fawther, as pious a man as ever went to were, rallied round their comrade's pretty church, me uncle Dane Malony, and ourt wife, and paid her their court with soldierly cousin the bishop, took a hand at loo, or gallantry. She had a little triumph, which whist, every night of their lives). Nayther flushed her spirits and made her eyes sparkle of'em's goin with the regiment this time," George was proud of her popularity, and Mrs. O'Dowd added. "Fanny Magenis pleased with the manner (which was very stops with her mother, who sells small coal gay and graceful though naYve and a little and potatoes, most likely, in Islington-town, timid) with which she received the gentlehard by London, though she's always brag- men's attentions, and answered their comging of her father's ships, and pointing them pliments. And he in his uniform - how out to us as they go up the river: and Mrs. much handsomer he was than any man in Kirk and her children will stop here in the r}oom! She felt that he was affectionBethesda Place, to be nigh to her favorite ately watching her, and glowed with pleasure preacher, Dr. Ramshorn. Mrs. Bunny's in at his kindness. " I will make all his firiends an interesting situation —aith, and she al- welcome," she resolved in her heart;"and ;I! I 1"' _ t_ _'' ~~i —-------------- - -' h i 1 ii I;, 1~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ r - "'"'" ~/'///'tJ~//"F~ ~ ~'~ —-— "~ ~. ii I', I'i-'';l!h| t,!i E~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,,'ij'i,.~__~.~_"~,"~,.........:L'-"..." - - - -'X....: —~_................ I1~~~~~-r~I ____ ______~j'li; ___~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ___ ___ A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 131 try and be gay and good-humored and make his sister and the major's wife, the bulk of his home,happy." whose goods and chattels, including the The regiment indeed adopted her with famous bird of paradise and turban, were acclamation. The captains approved, the with the regimental baggage: so that our lieutenants applauded, the ensigns admired. two heroines drove pretty much unincumOld Cutler the doctor, made one, or two bered to Ramsgate, where there were plenty jokes, which, being professional, need not of packets plying. in one of which they ]lad be repeated; and Cackle, the assistant DM. a speedy passage to Osrend. D. of Edinburgh, condescended to examine That period of Jos's life which now enher upon leeterature, and tried her with his sued was so full of incident, that it served three best French quotations. Young Stub- him for conversation for many years after, ble we nt about from iman to man whispering, and even the tiger-hunt story was put aside "Jove, isn't she a pretty gal?" and never for more stirring narratives which he had took his eyes off her except when the to tell about the great campaign of Waterloo. negus came in. As soon as he had agreed to escort his sister As for Captain Dobbin, Ihe never so much abroad, it was remarked that he ceased as spoke to her during the whole evening. shaving his upper lip. At Chatham he folBut he and Captain Porter. of the 150th lowed the parades and drills with great astook home Jos to the hotel, who was in a siduity. He listened with the utmost attenvery nmaudlin state, and had told his tiger- tion to the conversation of his brother officers hunt story with great effect, both at the (as he called them in after days sometimes), mess-table; and at the soiree to Mrs. O'Dowd and learned as many military names as he in her turban and bird of paradise. Having could. In these studies the excellent Mrs. put the collector into the hands of his ser- O'Dowd was of great assistance to him; and rant, Dobbin loitered about, smoking his on the day finally when they embarked on cigar before the inn door. George had board the Lovely Rose which was to carry meanwhile very carefully shawled his wife, them to their destination, he made his apand brought her away from Mrs. O'Dowd's, pearance in a braided frock-coat and duck after a general hand-shaking from the young trowsers, with a foraging cap ornamented officers, who accompanied her to the fly, with asmart gold band. Having his carriage and cheered that vehicle as it drove off. with him, and informing every body on board So Amelia gave Dobbin her little hand as she confidentially that he was going to join the got out of the carriage, and rebuked him Duke of Wellington's army, folks mistook smilingly for not having taken any notice of him for a great personage, a commissaryher all night. general, or a government courier at the very The captain continued that deleterious least. amusement of smoking, long after the inn He suffered hugelyon the voyage, during and the street were gone to bed. He which the ladies were likewise prostrate; watched the lights vanish from George's but Amelia was brought to life again as the sitting-room windows, and shine out in the packet made Ostend, by the sight of the ned-room close at hand. It was almost transports conveying her regiment, which morning when he returned to his own entered the harbor almost at the same time quarters. He could hear the cheering from with the Lovely Rose. Jos went in a col the ships in the river, where the transports lapsed state to an inn, while Captain Dobwere already taking in their cargoes pre- bin escorted the ladies, and then busied himparatory to dropping down the Thames. self in freeing Jos's carriage and luggage from the ship and the custom house, for Mr. Jos was at present without a servant, Osborne's man and his own pampered menial having conspired together at Chatham, CHAPTER XXVIII. and refused point blank to cross the water. This revolt, which came very suddenly, and IN WHICH AMELIA INVADES THE LOW on the last day, so alarmed Mr. Sedley, COUNTRIES. junior, that he was on the point of giving up THE regiment with its officers was to be the expedition, but Captain Dobbin (who transported in ships provided by His Majes- made himself immensely officious in the ty's government for the occasion; and in business, Jos said), rated him and laughed two days after the festive assembly at Mrs. at him soundly: the mustachoes were grown O'Dowd's apartments, in the midst of cheer- in advance, and Jos finally was persuaded to ing fiom all the East India ships in the river, embark. In place of the well-bred and welland the military on shore, the band playing fed London domestics, who could only speak "God save the king," the officers waving English, Dobbin procured for Jos's party a their hats, and the crews hurrahing gallantly, swarthy little Belgian servant who could the transports went down the river and pro- speak no language at all; but who by his ceeded under convoy to Ostend. Mean- bustling behavior, and by invariably addresswhile the gallant Jos had agreed to escort ing Mr. Sedley as "' My lord," speedily ac 132 VANITY FAIR. quired that gentleman's favor. Times are Jing, that alarm was unknown, and that ou. altered at Ostend now; of the Britons who travelers, among whom two were naturally go thither, very few look like lords, or act of a very timid sort, were, like all the other like those members of our hereditary aristo- multiplied English tourists, entirely at ease. cracy. They seem for the most part shabby The famous regiment, with so many of in. attire, dingy of linen, lovers of hilliards and whose officers we have made acquaintance, brandy, and cigars and greasy ordinaries. was drafted in canal-boats to Bruges and But it may be said as a rule, that every Ghent, thence to march to Brussels. Jos Englishman in the Duke of Wellington's accompanied the ladies in the public boats: army paid his way. The remembrance of the which all old travelers in Flanders must such a fact surely becomes a nation of shop- remember for the luxury and accommodakeepers. It was a blessing for a commerce- tion they afforded. So prodigiously good loving country to be overrun by such an was the eating and drinking on board these army of customers: and to have such cred- sluggish but most comfortable vessels, that itable warriors to feed. And the country there are legends extant of an English travwhich they came to protect is not military. eler who coming to Belgium for a week, and For a long period of history they have let traveling in one of these boats, was so deother people fight there. When the present lighted with the fare there that he went writer went to survey with eagle glance the backward and forward from Ghent to Bruges field of Waterloo, we asked the conductor perpetually until the railroads were invented, of the diligence, a portly warlike-looking when he drowned himself on the last trip veteran, whether he had been at the battle. of the passage-boat. Jos's death was not to "Pas si bete"-such an answer and senti- be of this sort, but his comfort was exceedment as no Frenchman would own to-was ing, and Mrs. O'Dowd insisted that he only his reply. But on the other hand, the wanted her sister Glorvina to make his happostillion who drove us was a viscount, a son piness complete. He sat on the roof of the of some bankrupt imperial general, who cabin all day drinking Flemish beer, shouting accepted a pennyworth of beer on the road for Isidor his servant, and talking galkntly to The moral is surely a good one. the ladies. This flat, flourishing, easy country never His courage was prodigious. " Boney atcould have looked more rich and prosperous, tack us!" he cried. "My dear creature, than in that opening summer of 1815, when my poorEmmy, don't be frightened. There's its green fields and quiet cities were enlivened no danger. The allies will be in Paris in by multiplied red-coats: when its widechaus- two months, I tell you: when I'll take you sees swarmed with brilliant English equip- to dine in the Palais Royal, by Jove! There ages: when its great canal-boats, gliding by: are three hundred thousand Rooshians, I tell rich pastures and pleasant quaint old villages, you, now entering France by Mayence and by old chateaux lying among old trees, were the Rhine-three hundred thousand under all crowded with well-to-do English travel- Wittgenstein and Barclay de Tolly, my poor ers: when the soldier who drank at the love. You don't know military affairs, may village inn, not only drank, but paid his score: dear. I do, and I tell you there's no infantry and Donald the Highlander,* billeted in the in France can stand against Rooshian infantFlemish farm-house, rocked the baby's cra- ry, and no general of Boney's that's fit to dle, while Jean and Jeannette were out hold a candle to Wittgenstein. Then there getting in the hay. As our painters are are the Austrians, they are five hundred bent on military subjects just now, I throw thousand if a man, and they are within ten out this as a good subject for the pencil, to marches of the fiontier by this ti.me, under illustrate the principle of an honest English Schwartzenberg and Prince Charles. Then war. All looked as brilliant and harmless there are the Prooshians under the gallant as a Hyde Park review. Meanwhile, Napo- Prince Marshal. Show me a cavalry chief leon, screened behind his curtain of frontier- like him, now that Murat is gone. Hey, fortresses, was preparing for the outbreak Mrs. O'Dowd? Doyou think our little girl which was to drive all these orderly people here need be afraid. Is there any cause for into fury and blood; and lay so many of fear, Isidor? Hey, sir? Get some more them low. beer." Every body had such a perfect feeling of Mrs. O'Dowd said that "her Glorvina confidence in the leader (for the resolute was not afraid of any man alive let alone a faith which the Duke of Wellington had Frenchman," and tossed off a glass of beer inspired in the whole English nation was as with a wink which expressed her liking for nltense, as that more frantic enthusiasmn with the beverage. which at one time the French regarded Napoleon); the country seemed in so perfect Having frequently been in presence of the a state of orderly defense, and the help at enemy, or, in other words, faced the ladies hand in case of need so near and overwhelm- at Cheltenham and Bath, our friend, the * This incident is mentioned in Mr. Gleig's re- collector, had lost a great deal of his pristine cently published " Story of the Battle of Waterloo." timidity, and was now, especially when forti A NOVEL WITHOUT A HIERO. 133 fied with liquor, as talkative as might be. ridicule fit to have brought the old tower BHe was rather a favorite with the regiment, down. The place was full of English soltreating the young officers with sumptuosity, diery as they passed. English bugles woke and amusing them by his military airs. them in the morning: at nightfall they went And as there is one well-known regiment of to bed to the note of the British fife and the army which travels with a goat heading drum: all the country and Europe was in the column, while another is led by a deer, arins, and the greatest event of history pendGeorge said with respect to his brother-in- ing; and honest Peggy O'Dowd, whom it law, that his regiment marched with an concerned as well as another, went on pratelephant. tling about Ballinafad, and the horses in the Since Amelia's introduction to the regi- stables at Glenmalony, and the clar't drunk ment, George began to be rather ashamed there; and Jos Sedley interposed about of somrre of the company to which he had curry and rice at Dumdum; and Amelia been forced to present her; and determined, thought about her husband, and how best as he telr Dobbin (with what satisfaction to she should show her love for him; as if the latter it need not be.. aid), to exchange these were the great topics of the world. into some better regiment soon, and to get his wife away from these damned vulgar women. Those who like to lay down the historyBut this vulgarity of being ashamed of one's book, and to speculate upon what might have society is much more common among men happened in the world, but for the fatal than women (except very great ladies of occurrence of what actually did take place fashion, who, to be sure, indulge in it); and (a most puzzling, amusing, ingenious, and Mrs. Amelia, a natural and unaffected per- profitable kind of meditation), have no doubt son, had none of that artificial shamefaced- often thought to themselves what a specially ness which her husband mistook for delicacy bald time Napoleon took to come back from on hip own part. Thus Mrs. O'Dowd had Elba, and to let loose his eagle from Gulf x cock s plume in her hat, and a very large Sar Juan to Notre Dame. The historians "'repayther" on her stomach, which she on our side tell us that the armies of the used to ring on all occasions, narrating how allied powers were all providentially on a it had been presented to her by her fawther, war-footing, and ready to bear down at a as she stipt into the car'ge after her mar'ge; moment's notice upon the Elban Emperor. and these ornaments, with other outward The august jobbers assembled at Vienna, peculiarities of the major's wife, gave ex- and carving out the kingdoms of Europe cruciating agonies to Captain Osborne, when according to their wisdom, had such causes his wife and the major's came in contact; of quarrel among themselves as might hae e whereas Amelia was only amused by the set the armies which had overcome Napohonest lady's eccentricities, and not in the leon to fight against each other, but for the least ashamed of her company. return of the object of unanimous hatred and As they made that well-known journey, fear. This monarch had an army in full which alm,ost every Englishman of middle force because he had jobbed to himself Porank has traveled since, there might have land, and was determined to keep it: another been more instructive, but few more enter- had robbed half Saxony, and was bent upon tainingcompanions than Mrs. MajorO'Dowd. maintaining his acquisition: Italy was the " Talk about kenal boats, my dear. Ye object of a third's solicitude. Each was proshould see the kenal boats between Dublin testing against the rapacity of the other; and Ballinasloe. It's there the rapid travel- and could the Corsican but have waited in ing is; and the beautiful cattle. Sure me his prison until all these parties were by the fawther got a goold medal (and his excel- ears, he might have returned and reigned lency himself eat a slice of it, and said never unmolested. But what would have become was finer mate in his loif) for a four-year-old of our story and all our friends, then? If heifer, the like of which ye never saw in all the drops in it were'dried up, what would this country any day." And Jos owned become of the sea? with a sigh, "that for good streaky beef, In the mean while the business of life and really mingled with fat and lean, there was living and the pursuits of pleasure, especially,:o.country like England." went on as if no end were to be expected to " Except Ireland, where all your best mate them, and no enemy in fiont. When our comes fiom," said the major's lady; pro- travelers arrived at Brussels, in which their ceeding, as is not unusual with patriots of regiment was quartered, a great piece of her nation, to make comparisons greatly in good fortune, as all said, they found themfavor of her own country. This idea of selves in one of the gayest and most brilliant comparing the market at Bruges with those little capitals in Europe, and where all the of Dublin, although she had suggested it Vanity Fair booths were laid out with the herself, caused immense scorn and derision most tempting liveliness and splendor. Gamon her part. " I'll thank ye to tell me what bling was here in profusion, and dancing in they mean by that old gazabo on the top of plenty: feasting was there to fill with delight the market-place," said she, in a burst of that great gourmand of a Jos there was a 134 VANITY FAIR. theater where a miraculous Catalani was "Gracious heaven, lamma —you don't delighting all hearers; beautiful rides, all suppose the man would bring his wife," enlivened with martial splendor; a rare old shrieked Lady Blanche, who had been lancity, with strange costumes and wonderful guishing in George's arms in the newly-iraarchitecture, to delight the eyes of little ported waltz for hours the night before. Amelia, who had never before seen a foreign "The men are bearable, but their womcountry, and fill her with charming sur- en —" prises: so that now and for a few weeks' " WVife, just married, dev'lish pretty wonspace, in a fine handsome lodging, whereof an, I hear," the old earl said. the expenses were borne by Jos and Os-' XVell, my dear Blanche," said the'mothborne, who was flush of money and full of er, "I suppose as papa wants to go, we kind attentions to his wife-for about a fort- must go: but we needn't know them in night I say, during which her honeymoon England, you know." And so, determined ended, Mrs. Amelia was as pleased and happy to cut their new acquaintance in Bond-street, as any little bride out of England. these great folks went to eat his dinner at Every day during this happy time there Brussels, and condescending to make himn was novelty and amusement for all parties. pay for their pleasure, showed their dignity There was a church to see, or a picture by making his wife uncomfortable, and caregallery-there was a ride, or an opera. The fully excluding her from the conversation. bands of the regiments were making music This is a species of dignity in which the at all hours. The greatest folks of England high-bred British female reigns supreme. walked in the park —there was a perpetual To watch the behavior of a fine lady to other military festival. George taking out his wife and humbler women is a very good sport for to a new jaunt or junket every night, was a philosophical frequenter of Vanity Fair. quite pleased with himself as usual, and This festival, on which honest George swore he was becoming quite a domestic spent a great deal of money, was the very character. And a jaunt or a junket with dismalest of all the entertainments which him! Was it not enough to set this little Amelia had in her honey-moon. She wrote heart beating with joy? Her letters home the most piteous accounts of the feast home to her mother were filled with delight and to her mamma: how the Countess of Baregratitude at this season. Her husband bade acres would not answer when spoken to; her buy laces, millinery, jewels, and gim- how Lady Blanche stared at her with her cracks of all sorts. Oh, he was the kindest, eye-glass; and what a rage Captain Dobbin best, and most generous of men! was in at their behavior; and how my lord The sight of the very great company of as they came away from the feast, asked to lords and ladies and fashionable persons who see the bill, and pronounced it a d — bad thronged the town and appeared in every dinner, and d- dear. But though Amelia public place, filled George's truly British told all these stories, and wrote home resoul with intense delight. They flung off garding her guests' rudeness, and her own that happy frigidity and insolence of de- discomfiture; old Mrs. Sedley was mightily meaner which occasionally characterizes the pleased nevertheless, and talked about Emgreat at home, and appearing in numberless my's friend, the Countess of Bareacres, with public places, condescended to mingle with such assiduity that the news how his son the rest of the company whom they met was entertaining peers and peeresses actuthere. One night at a party given by the ally came to Osborne's ears in the city. general of the division to which George's Those who know the present Lieutenantregiment belonged,' he had the honor of general Sir George Tufto, K.C.B., and have dancing with Lady Blanche Thistlewood, seen him, as they may on most days in the Lord Bareacres' daughter; he bustled for season, padded and in stays, strutting down ices and refreshments for the two noble Pall-Mall with a rickety swagger, on his ladies; he pushed and squeezed for Lady high-heeled lacquered boots, leering under Bareacres' carriage; he bragged about the the bonnets of passers by, or riding a showy countess when he got home, in a way which chestnut, and ogling Broughams in the parks his own father could not have surpassed. -those who know the present Sir George He called upon the ladies the next day; he Tufto would hardly recognize the daring rode by their side in the park; he asked Peninsula and Waterloo officer. He has their party to a great dinner at a restaura- thick curling brown hair and black eyebrows teur's, and was quite wild with exultation now, and his whiskers are of the deepest when' they agreed to come. Old Bareacres, purple. He was light-haired and bald in who had not much pride and a large appetite, 1815, and stouter in the person and in the would go for a dinner any where. limbs, which especially have shrunk very' I hope there will be no women besides much of late. When he was about seventy our-own party," Lady Bareacres said, after years of age (he is now nearly eighty), his reflecting upon the invitation which had been hair, which was very scarce and quite white; made, and accepted with too much precipi- suddenly grew thick, and brown. and curly, tancy. and his whiskers and eyebrows took their ii!~ ~-=~,~;~~~~~~~rii t' ~t~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~~~~~~___________ -~II I':''I'!.... I! A'l It S'~,~I'ji r'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,lo., r= 11, 1AI I' 7 U1 I!Allen~~~jnlll~l j ~~~~7~ ~~~.U-. _ AT.. —. — _.',....-R - _A —... 228. 0~DOWD AT TER~ FLOWF:R MARi~KE F t 1:f.1 A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 135 )resent color. Ill-natured people say that! with a laugh. "General Tufto! Then, my his chest is all wool, and that his hair, be- dear, the Crawleys are come." cause it never grows, is a wig. Tom Tufto, Amelia's heart fell-she knew not why with whose father he quarreled ever so many The sun did not seem to shine so bright. years ago, declares that Mademoiselle de The tall old roofs and gables looked less Jaisey, of the French- theater, pulled his picturesque all of a sudden, though it was a grandpapa's hair off in the green-room; but brilliant sunset, and one of the brightest and Tom is notoriously spiteful and jealous; and most beautiful days at the end of May. the general's wig has nothing to do with our story. One day, as some of our friends of the — th were sauntering in the flower-market CHAPTER XXIX. of Brussels, having been to see the Hotel de Ville, which Mrs. Major O'Dowd declared BRUSSELS. was not near so large or handsome as her Ma. Jos had hired a pair of horses for nis fawther's mansion of Glenmalony, an officer open carriage, with which cattle, and the of rank with a soldier behind him, rode up smart London vehicle, he made a very tolto the market, and descending from his erable figure in the drives about Brussels. horse, came among the flowers, and selected George purchased a horse for his private the very finest bouquet which money could riding, and he and Captain Dobbin would buy. The beautiful bundle being tied up in often accompany the carriage in which Jos a paper, the officer remounted, giving the and his sister took daily excursions of pleasnosegay into the charge of his military groom, ure. They went out that day in the park who carried it with a grin, following his for their accustomed diversion, and there, chief who rode away in great state and self- sure enough, George's r-emark with regard satisfaction. to the arrival of Rawdon Crawley and his "' You should see the flowers at Glenma- wife proved to be correct. In the midst of Lony," Mrs. O'Dowd was remarking. " Me a little ttroop of horsemen, consisting of some fawther has three Scotch garners with nine of the very greatest persons in Brussels, helpers. We have an acre of hot-houses, Rebecca was seen in the prettiest and tightand pines as common as pays in the sayson. est of riding-habits, mounted on a beautiful Our greeps weighs six pounds every bunch little Arab, which she rode to perfection of'em, and upon me honor and conscience I (having acquired the art at Queen's Cirawthink our magnolias is as big as taykettles." ley, where the baronet, Mr. Pitt, and RawDobbin, who never used to' draw out' don himself had given her many lessons), Mrs. O'Dowd as that wicked Osborne de- and by theside of the gallant General Tufto. lighted in doing (much to Amelia's terror, "Sure, it's the Juke himself," cried Mrs. who implored him to spare her), fell back in Major O'Dowd to Jos, who began to blush the crowd, crowing and sputtering until he violently; " and that's Lord Uxbridge on the reached a safe distance, when he exploded bay. How elegant he looks! Me brothamong the astonished market-people with er, Molloy Maloney, is as like him as two shrieks of yelling laughter. peas." "Hwhat's that gawky guggling about?" Rebecca did not make for the carriage; said Mrs. O'Dowd. "Is ithis nose bleedn? but as soon as she perceived her old acHe always used to say'twas his nose bleedn, quaintance Amelia seated in it, acknowledged till he must have pumped all the blood out her presence by a gracious word and smile, of um. An't the magnolias at GlenmalonyI and by kissing and shaking her fingers playas big as taykettles, O'Dowd?" fully in the direction of the vehicle. Then "i Deed then they are, and bigger, Peggy," she resumed her conversation with General the major said. When the conversation Tufto, who asked "who the fat officer was was interrupted in the manner stated, by in the gold-laced cap?" on which Becky rethe arrival of the officer who purchased the plied, "that he was an officer in the East bouquet." Indian service." But Rawdon Crawley rode " Devilish fine horse —who is it?" George out of the ranks of his company, and came asked. up and shook hands heartily with Amelia, "You should see me brother Molloy Ma- and said to Jos, Well, old boy, how are loney's horse, Molasses, that won the cup at you?" and stared in Mrs. O'Dowd's face the Curragh," the major's wife was exclaim- and black cock's feathirs until she began to ing, and was continuing the family history, think she had made a conquest of him. when her husband interrupted her by say- George, who had been delayed behind, ing- rode up almost immediately with Dobbin, It's General Tufto, who commands the and they touched their caps to the august -- cavalry division;" adding quietly, " he personages, among whom Osborne at once and 1 were both shot in the same leg at perceived Mrs. Crawley. He was delighted Talavera." to see Rawdon leaning over his carriage " Where you got your step," said George familiarly and talking to Amelia, and met 136 VANITY FAIR. the aid-de-camp's cordial greeting with more as the theater in Fishamble-street, Dublin, than corresponding warmth. The'nods be- nor was French music at all equal in her tween Rawdon and Dobbin were of the very opinion to the melodies of her native country. faintest specimens of politeness. She favored her friends with these and other Crawley told George where they were opinions in a very loud tone of voice, and stopping with General Tufto at the Hotel tossed about a great clattering fan she sported du Parc, and George made his friend prom- with the most splendid complacency. ise to come speedily to Osborne's own resi- "Who is that wonderful woman with dence.'" Sorry I hadn't seen you three Amelia, Rawdon, love?" said a lady in an days ago," George said. "IHad a dinner at opposite box (who, almost always civil to'the Restaurateur's -rather a nice thing. her husband in private, was more fond than Lord Bareacres, and the countess, and Lady ever of him in company). " Don't you see Blanche, were good enough to dine with us that creature with a yellow thing in her — wish we'd had you." Having thus let his turban, and a red satin gown, and a great fiiend know his claims to be a man of fashion, watch?" Osborne parted fiom Rawdon, who followed " Near the pretty little woman in white?" the august squadron down an alley into which asked a middle-aged gentleman seated by they cantered, while George and Dobbin the querist's side, with orders in his button, resumed their places, one on each side of and several under-waistcoats, and a great, Amelia's carriage. choky, white stock. " How well the Juke looked," Mrs. " That pretty woman in white is Amelia, O'Dowd remarked. "The WVellesleys and general: you are remarking all the pretty Maloneys are related; but, of course, poor I women, you naughty man." would never dream of introjuicing myself "Only one, begad, in the world!" said unless his grace thought proper to remem- the general, delighted, and the lady gave ber our family-tie." him a tap with a large bouquet which she "He's a great soldier'," Jos said, much had. more at ease now the great man was gone. "Bedad it's him," said Mrs. O'Dowd; "Was there ever a battle won like Sala- "and that's the very bokay he bought in the manca? Hey, Dobbin? But where was it Marshy aux F lures!" and whenr Rebecca, he learned his art? In India, my boy! having caught her friend's eye, performed The jungle's the school for a general, mark the little hand-kissing operation once more, me that. I knew him myself, too, Mrs. Mrs. Major O'D., taking the compliment to O'Dowd: we both of us danced the same herself, returned the salute with a gracious evening with Miss Cutler, daughter of Cutler smile, which sent that unfortunate Dobbin of the artillery, and a devilish fine girl, at shrieking out of the box again. Dumdum." At the end of the act, George was out of The apparition of the great personages the box in a moment, and he was even going held them all in talk during the drive; and to pay his respects to Rebecca in her loge. at dinner; and until the hour came when He met Crawley in the lobby, however, they were all to go to the opera. where they exchanged a few sentences upon It was almost like Old England. The the occurrences of the last fortnight. house was filled with familiar British faces. "You found my check all right at the and those toilets for which the British female agent's?" George said, with a knowing air. has long been celebrated. Mrs. O'Dowd's "All right, my boy," Rawdor answered. was not the least splendid among these, and "Happy to give you your revenge. Govershe had a curl on her forehead, and a set nor come round?" of Irish diamonds and Cairngorms, which "' Not yet," said George, "but he will; outshone all the decorations in the house, in and you know I've some private fortune her notion. Her presence used to excru- through my mother. Has Aunty relented?" ciate Osborne; but go she would upon all "Sent me twenty pounds, damned old parties of pleasure on which she heard her screw. - When shall we have a meet? The young friends were bent. It never entered general dines out on Tuesday. Can't you into her thought but that they must be come Tuesday? I say, make Sedley cut charmed of her company. off his mustache. What the devil does " She's been useful to you, my dear," a civilian mean with a mustache and those George said to his wife, whom he could infernal frogs to his coat. By-bye. Try leave alone with less scruple when she had and come on Tuesday;" and Rawdon was this company. " But what a comfort it is going off with two brilliant young gentlemen -that Rebecca's come: you will have her for of fashion, who were, like himself, on the a friend, and we may get rid now of this staff of a general officer. damn'd Irishwoman." To this Amelia did George was only half pleased to be asked not answer, yes or no: and how do we know to dinner on that particular day when the what her thoughts were? general was not to dine. " I will go in and The coup l'eil of the Brussels opera-house pay my respects to your wife," said he; at; 1 not strike. Mrs. O'lDowd as being so fine which Rawdon said, "Hm, as you please A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 137 looking very glum, and at which the two might have been interpreted, "Don't you young officers exchanged knowing glances. see the state of affairs, and what a fool I'm George parted from them, and strutted down making of him?" But he did not perceive the lobby to the general's box, the number it. Ile was thinking of his own plans, and of which he had carefully counted. lost in pompous admiration of his own irre" Entrez," said a clear little voice, and sistible powers of pleasing. our friend found himself in Rebecca's pres- The curses to which the general gave a ence; who jumped up, clapped her hands low utterance, as soon as Rebecca and her together, and held out both of them to conqueror had quitted him, were so deep, George, so charmed was she to see him. that I am sure no compositor would venture The general, with the orders in his button, to print them were they written down. stared at the new comer with a sulky scowl, They came fiom the general's heart; and as much as to say, "Who the devil are a wonderful thing it is to think that the you?" human heart is capable of generating such "My dear Captain George!" cried little produce, and can throw out, as occasion deRebecca in an ecstacy. " How good of you mands, such a supply of lust and fury, rage to come. The general and I were moping and hatred. together tete-a-tete. General, this is my Amelia's gentle eyes, too, had been fixed Captain George, of whom you heard me talk." anxiously on the pair, whose conduct had "Indeed," said the general, with a very so chafed the jealous general; but when small bow, "of what regiment is Captain Rebecca entered her box, she flew to her George?" firiend with an affectionate rapture which George mentioned the — th: how he showed itself, in spite of the publicity of the wished he could have said it was a crack place, for she embraced her dearest friend cavally corps. in the presence of the whole house, at least "Come home lately from the West in full view of the general's glass, now Indies, I believe. Not seen much service brought to bear upon the Osborne party. in the late war. Quartered here, Captain Mrs. Rawdon saluted Jos, too, with the kindGeorge?" —the general went on with killing liest greeting: she admired Mrs. O'Dowd's haughtiness. large Cairngorm brooch and superb Irish "Not Captain George, you stupid man; diamonds, and wouldn't believe that they Captain Osborne," Rebecca said. The were not from Golconda direct. She bustled, general all the while was looking savagely she chattered, she turned and twisted, and from one to the other. smiled upon one, and smirked on another, "Captain Osborne, indeed! Any relation all in full view of the jealous opera-glass to the L- Osbornes?" opposite. And when the time for the ballet'" We bear the same arms," George said, came (in which there was no dancer that as indeed was the fact; Mr. Osborne having went through her grimaces or performed consulted with a herald in Long Acre, and her comedy of action better), she skipped picked the L- arms out of the peerage, back to her own box, leaning on Captain when he set up his carriage fifteen years Dobbin's arm this time. No, she would not before. The general made no reply to this have George's: he must stay and talk to announcement; but took up his opera-glass his dearest, best, little Amelia. — the double-barreled lorgnon was not in- " What a humbug that woman is," honest vented in those days-and pretended to ex- old Dobbin mumbled to George, when he amine the house; but Rebecca saw that his came back fiom Rebecca's box, whither he disengaged eye was working round in her had conducted her in perfect silence, and direction, and shooting out blood-shot glances with a countenance as glum as an, underat her and George. taker's. " She writhes and twists about like She redoubled in cordiality. " Iow is a snake. All the time she was here, didn't dearest Amelia? But I needn't ask: how you see, George, how she was acting at the pretty she looks! And who is that nice general over the way?" good-natured looking creature with her-a "Humbug —acting? Hang it, she's the flame of yours? 0, you wicked men! nicest little woman in England," George And there is Mr. Sedley eating ices, I de- replied, showing his white teeth, and giving clare: how he seems to enjoy it! General, his ambrosial whiskers a twirl. " You ain't why have we not had any ices?" a man of the world, Dobbin. Damme, look "Shall I go and fetch you some?" said at her now, she's talked over Tufto in no the general, bursting with wrath. time. Look how he's laughing! Gad, " Let me go, I entreat you," George said. what a shoulder she has! Emmy, why "No, I will go to Amelia's box. Dear, didn't you have a bouquet? Every body sweet girl! Give me your arm, Captain has a bouquet." George;" and so saying, and with a nod to "Faith, then, why didn't you boy one?" the general, she tripped into'the lobby. Mrs. O'Dowd said; and both Amelia and She gave George the queerest, knowingest William Dobbin thanked her for this timely look, when they were together, a look which observation. But beyond this neither of the 28d'V AN1TY FAIR. ladies rallied. Amelia was overpowered by a pin for either of you," Crawley's wife the flash and the dazzle and the fashionable said, with a pert toss of her head.'" Will tallkof her worldly rival. Even the O'Dowd you dine here? The dragon dines with the was silent and subdued after Becky's brilliant commander-in-chief. Great news is stirring. apparition, and scarcely said a word more They say the French have crossed the fron about Glenmalony all the evening. tier. We shall have a quiet dinner." "When do you intend to give up play, George accepted the invitation, although George, as you have promised me any time his wife was a little ailing. They were these hundred years?" Dobbin said to his now not quite six weeks married. Another friend a few days after the night at the woman was laughing or sneering at her exOpera. " When do you intend to give pense, and he not angry. He was not even up sermonizing?" was the other's reply. angry with himself, this good-natured fellow. "VWhat the deuce, man, are you alarmed It is a shame, he owned to himself; but, about? We play low; I won last night. hang it, if a pretty woman will throw herselt You don't suppose Crawley cheats? With into your way, why, what can a fellow do, fair play it comes to pretty much the same you know? I am rather free about women, thing at the year's end." he had often said, smiling and nodding know"But I don't think he could pay if he ingly to Stubble and Spooney, and other lost," Dobbin said; and his advice met comrades of the messtable; and they rather with the success which advice usually corm- respected him than otherwise for this prowmands. Osborne and Crawley were re- ess. Next to conquering in war, conquering peatedly together now. General Tufto in love has been a source of pride, time out dined abroad almost constantly. George of mind, among men in Vanity Fair, or how was always welcome in the apartments should school-boys brag of their amours, or (very close indeed to those of the general), Don Juan be popular? which the aid-de-camp and his wife occupied So Mr. Osborne, having a firm conviction in the hotel. in his own mind that he was a woman-killer Amelia's manners were such when -she and destined to conquer, did not run countel and George visited Crawley and his wife at to his fate, but yielded himself up to it quite these quarters, that they had very nearly complacently. And as Emmy did not say come to their first quarrel; that is, George much or plague him with her jealousy, but scolded his wife violently for her evident merely became unhappy and pined over it unwillingness to go, and the high and mighty miserably in secret, -he chose to fancy that manner in which she comported herself she was not suspicious of what all his actoward Mrs. Crawley, her old fiiend; and quaintance were perfectly aware-namely, Amelia did not say one single word in reply; that he was carrying on a desperate flirbut with her husband's eye upon her and tation with Mrs. Crawley. He rode with Rebecca scanning her, as she felt, was, if her whenever she was free. He pretended possible, more bashful and awkward on the regimental business to Amelia (by which second visit which she paid to Mrs. Rawdon, falsehood she was not in the least deceived), than on her first call. and consigning his wife to solitude or her Rebecca was doubly affectionate, of course, brother's society, passed his evenings in the and would not take notice, in the least, of Crawleys' company; losing money to the her friend's coolness. " I think Emmy has husband and flattering himself that the wife become prouder since her father's name was dying in love for him. It is very likely was in the -, since Mr. Sedley's misfor- that this worthy couple never absolutely tunes," Rebeceft said, softening the phrase conspired, and agreed together in so many charitably for George's ear. words: the one to cajole the young gentle"Upon my word, I thought when we man, while the other won his money at were at Brighton she was doing me the cards: but they understood each other perhonor to be jealous of me; and now I sup- fectly well, and Rawdon let Osborne come pose she is scandalized because Rawdon, and go with entire good humor. and I, and the general live together. Why, George was so occupied with his new my dear creature, how could we, with our acquaintances that he and William Dobbin means, live at all, but for a friend to share were by no means so much together as forexpenses? And do you suppose that Raw- merly. George avoided him in public and don is not big enough to take care of my in the regiment, and, as we see, did not like honor? But I'm very much obliged to those sermons which his senior was disposed Emmy, very," Mrs. Rawdon said. to inflict upon him. If some parts of his "Pooh, jealousy!" answered George, conduct made Captain Dobbin exceedingly' all women are jealous." grave and cool; of what use was it to tell' "And all men, too. Weren't you jealous George that though his whiskers were large, of General Tufto, and the general of you, and his own opinion of his knowingness great, on the night of the Opera? Why, he was he was as green as a schoolboy? that Rawready to eat me for going with you to visit don was making a victim of him as he had that foolish little wife of your's; as if I care done of many before, and as soon as he had A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 139 used him would fling him off with scorn? her, Rebecca seemed to be as cool and colHe would not listen: and so, as Dobbin lected as when she used to marshal Miss upon those days when he visited the Osborne Pinkerton's little girls to church. Numbers house, seldom had the advantage of meeting of the men she knew already, and the his old friend, much painful and unavailing dandies thronged round her. As for the talk between them was spared. Our friend ladies, it was whispered among them that George was in the full career of the pleasures Rawdon had run away with her from out of of Vanity Fair. a convent, and that she was a relation of the There never was, since the days of Darius, Montmnorency family. She spoke French such a brilliant train of camp-followers as so perfectly that there might be some truth hung round the train of the Duke of Wel- in this report, and it was agreed that hetr lington's army in the Low Countries, in manners were fine, and her air distingue. 1815; and led it dancing and feasting, as it Fifty would-be partners thronged round her were, up to the very brink of battle. A at once, and pressed to have the honor to certain ball which a noble duchess gave at dance with her. But she said she was enBrussels on the 15th of June in the above- gaged, and only going to dance very little; named year is historical. All Brussels had and made her way at once to the place been in a state of excitement about it, and I where Emmy sate quite unnoticed, ad1 dishave heard from ladies who were in that mally unhappy. And so, to finish the poor town at the period, that the talk and interest child at once, Mrs. Rawdon ran and greeted of persons of their own sex regarding the affectionately her dearest Amelia, and began ball was much greater even than in respect forthwith to patronize her. She found fault to the enemy in their front. The struggles, with her fiiend's dress, and her hair-dresser, intrigues, and prayers to get tickets were and wondered how she could be so chaussee, such as only English ladies will employ, in and-vowed that she must send her corsetiere order to gain admission to the society of the the next morning. She vowed that it was a great of their own nation. delightful ball; that there was every body Jos and Mrs. O'Dowd, who were panting that every one knew, and only a very few to be asked, strove in vain to procure tick- nobodies in the whole room. It is a fact. ets; but others of our friends were more that in a fortnight, and after three dinners in lucky. For instance, through the interest general society, this young woman had got of my Lord Bareacres, and as a set-off for iup the genteel jargon so well, that a native the dinner at the restaurateur's, George got could not speak it better; and it was only a card for Captain and Mrs. Osborne; which fiom her French being so good, that you circumstance greatly elated him. Dobbin, could know she was not a born woman of who was a friend of the general commanding fashion. the division in which their regiment was, George, who had left Emmy on her bench came laughing one day to Mrs. Osborne, and on entering the ball-room, very soon found displayed a similar invitation, which made his way back when Rebecca was by her Jos envious, and George wonder how the dear friend's side. Becky was justlecturing deuce he should be getting into society. IMrs. Osborne upon the follies which her Mr. and Mrs. Rawdon, finally, were of course husband was committing. " For God's sake, invited; as became the friends of a general stop him from gambling, my dear," she said, commanding a cavalry brigade. "or he will ruin himself. He and Rawdon On the appointed night, George, having are playing at cards every night, and you commanded new dresses and ornaments of know he is very poor, and Rawdon will win all sorts for Amelia, drove to the famous every shilling from him if he does not take ball, where his wife did not know a single care. Why don't you prevent him, you soul. After looking about for Lady Bare- little careless creature? Why dont you acres, who cut him, thinking the card was come to us of an evening, instead of moping quite enough-and after placing Amelia on a at home with that Captain Dobbin? I dare bench, he left her to her own cogitations say he is tres-aimable; but how could one there, thinking, on his own part, that he had love a man with feet of such size? Your behaved very handsomely in getting her new husband's feet are darlings. Here he comes. clothes, and bringing her to the ball, where Where have you been, wretch? ]Here is she was free to amuse herself as she liked. Emmy crying her eyes out for you. Are Her thoughts were not of the pleasantest, you coming to fetch me for the quadrille?" and nobody except honest Dobbin came to And she left her bouquet and shawl by disturb them. Amelia's side, and tripped off with George While-her appearance was an utter fail- to dance. Women only know how to wound ure (as her husband felt with a sort of rage), so. There is a poison on the tips of their Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's debut was, on the little shafts, which stings a thousand times contrary, very brilliant. She arrived very more than a man's blunter weapon. Our late. Her face was radiant; her dress per- poor Emtny, who had never hated, never fection. In the midst of the great persons sneered all her life, was powerless in the assembled, and the eye-glasses directed to hands of her remoraeless little enemy. 140 VANITY FAIR. George danced with Rebecca twice or George had been angry twice or thrice at thrice-how many times Amelia scarcely finding his wife up on his return from the knew. She sate quite unnoticed in her parties which he frequented: so she went corner, except when Rawdon came up with straight to bed now; but although she did some words of clumsy conversation: and not sleep, and although the din and clatter, later in the evening, when Captain Dob- and the galloping of horsemen were incesbin made so bold as to bring her refresh- sant, she never heard any of these noises, ments and sit beside her. He did not like having quite other disturbances to keep her to ask her why she was so sad; but as a awake. pretext for the tears which were filling in Osborne meanwhile, wild with elation, her eyes, she told him that.Mrs. Crawley went off to a play-table, and began to bet had alarmed her by telling her that George frantically. He won repeatedly. " Every would go on playing. thing succeeds with me to-night," he said. " It is curious, when a man is bent upon But his luck at play even did not cure him play, by what clumsy rogues he will allow of his restlessness, and he started up after himself to be cheated," Dobbin said; and awhile, pocketing his winnings, and went to Emmy said, "indeed." She was thinking a buffet, where he drank off many bumpers of something else. It was not the loss of of wine. the money that grieved her. Here, as he was rattling away to the At last George came back for Rebecca's people around, laughing loudly and wild shawl and flowers. She was going away. with spirits, Dobbin found him. He had She did not even condescend to come back been to the card-tables to look there for his and say good-by to Amelia. The poor girl friend. Dobbin looked as pale and grave as let her husband come and go without saying his comrade was flushed and jovial. a word, and her head fell on her breast. " Hullo, Dob! Come and drink, old Dob' Dobbin had been called away, and was The duke's wine is famous. Give me whispering deep in conversation with the some more, you sir;" and he held out a general of the division, his fiiend, and had trembling glass for the liquor. not seen this last parting. George went "'Come out, George," said Dobbin, still away then with the bouquet; but when he gravely; "don't drink." gave it to the owner, there lay a note, coiled "Drink! there's nothing like it. Drink like a snake among the flowers. Rebecca's yourself, and light up your lantern jaws, old eye caught it at once. She had been used boy. Here's to you." to deal with notes in early life. She put Dobbin went up and whispered something out her hand and took the nosegay. He to him, at which George, giving a start and saw by her eyes as they met, that she was a wild hurra, tossed off his glass, clapped it aware what she should find there. Her on the table, and walked away speedily on husband hurried her away, still too intent his friend's arm. "The enemy has passed upon his own thoughts, seemingly, to take the Sambre," William said, " and our left is note of any marks of recognition which might already engaged. Come away. We are pass between his friend and his wife. These to march in three hours." were, however, but trifling. Rebecca gave George her hand with one of her usual quick Away went George, his nerves quivering knowing glances, and made a courtesy and with excitement at the news so long looked walked away. George bowed over the hand, for, so sudden wlhen it came. What were said nothing in reply to a remark of Craw- love and intrigue row? He thought about ley's, did not hear it even, his brain was so a thousand things but these in his rapid walk throbbing with triumph and excitement-, and to his quarters-his past life and future allowed them to go away without a word. chances-the fate which might be before His wife saw the one part at least of the him —the wife, the child perhaps, fiom bouquet-scene. It was quite natural that'whom unseen he might be about to part. George should come at Rebecca's request to Oh, how he wished that night's work unget her her scarf and flowers: it was no done! and that with a clear conscience at more than he had done twenty times before least he might say farewell to the tender in the course of the last few days; but now and guileless being by whose love he had set it was too much for her. "William," she such little store! said, suddenly clinging to Dobbin, who was He thought over his brief married life. near her, "you've always been very kind to In those few weeks he had frightfully dissime-I'm-I'm not well. Take me home." pated his little capital. How wild and reckShe did not know she called him by his less he had been! Should any mischance Christian name, as George was accustom- befall him: what was then left for her? ed to do. He went away with -her quick- How unworthy he was of her. Why had ly. IHer lodgings were hard by; and they he married her? He was not fit for marthreaded through the crowd without, where riage. Why had he disobeyed his father, every thing seemed to be more astir than who had been always so generous to him? even inr the ball-room within, Hope, remorse, ambition, tenderness, and i1~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*,Li'.... i~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!?!I, f I. i ~ fi!_....__-'__- -' - I~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ I' j~ i VENUS PREPARIbN TrhE ARMOR OF MAR-~,p 141. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 141 selfish regret filled his heart. He sate down for action we go below and wait meekly. and wlote to his father, remembering what We should only be in the way of the he had said once before, when he was en- manouvres that the gallant fellows are pergaged to fight a duel. Dawn faintly streak- forming over head. We shall go no farther ed the sky as he closed this farewell letter. with the. —th than to the city gate: and He sealed it, and kissed the superscription. leaving Major O'Dowd to his duty, come HEe thought how he had deserted that gener- back to the major's wife, and the ladies and ous father, and of the thousand kindnesses the baggage. which the stern old man had done him. Now, the major and his lady, who had He had looked into Amelia's bed-room not been invited to the ball at which in our when he entered; she lay quiet, and her last chapter others of our friends figured, eyes seemed closed, and he was glad that had much more time to take their wholeshe was asleep. On arriving at his quarters some natura;Lrest in bed, than was accorded from the ball, he had found his regimental to people who wished to enjoy pleasure as servant already making preparations for his well as to do duty. "It's my belief, Peggy, departure: the man had understood his sig- my dear," said he, as he placidly pulled his nal to be still, and these arrangements were night-cap over his ears, "that there will be very quickly and silently made. Should he such a ball danced in a day or two as some go in and wake Amelia, he thought, or leave of'em has never heard the chune of;" and a note for her brother to break the news of he was much more happy to retire to rest departure to her? He went in to look at after partaking of a quiet tumbler, than to her once again. figure at any other sort of amusement. She had been awake when he first enter- Peggy, for her part, would have liked to ed her room, but had kept her eyes closed, have shown her turban and bird of paradise so that even her wakefulness should not at the ball, but for the information which seem to reproach him. But when he had her husband had given her, and which made returned, so soon after herself, too, this her very grave. timid little heart had felt more at ease and "I'd like ye wake me about half an hour turning toward him as he stepped softly out before the assembly beats," the major said of the room, she had fallen into a light sleep. to his lady. " Call me at half-past one, George came in and looked at her again; Peggy dear, and see me things is ready. entering still more softly. By the pale night- May be I'll not come back to breakfast, Mrs. lamp he could see her sweet, pale face-the O'D." With which words, which signified purple eyelids were fringed and closed, and his opinion that the regiment would march one round arm, smooth and white, lay outside the next morning, the major ceased talking, of the coverlid. Good God! how pure she and fell asleep.' was; how gentle, how tender, and how Mrs. O'Dowd, the good housewife, arrayed friendless! and he, how selfish, brutal, and in curl-papers and a camisole, felt that her black withcrime! Heart-stained,and shame- duty was to act, and not to sleep, at this stricken, he stood at the bed's foot, and juncture. "Time enough for that," she looked at the sleeping girl. How dared he said, "when Mick's gone;" and so she -who was he, to pray for one so spotless! packed his traveling-valise ready for the God bless her! God bless her! He came march, brushed his cloak, his cap, and other to the' bed-side, and looked at the hand, the warlike habilinments, set them out in order little soft hand, lying asleep; and he bent for him; and stowed away in the cloakover the pillow noiselessly toward the gentle pockets a light package of portable refireshpale face. ments, and a wicker-covered flask or pocketTwo fair arms closed'tenderly round his pistol, containing near a pint of a remarkably neck as he stooped down. "'I am awake, sound Cognac brandy, of which' she and the George," the poor child said, with a sob fit major approved very much, and as soon as to break the little heart that nestled so the hands of the "repayther" pointed to closely by his own. She was awake, poor half-past one, and its interior arrangements soul, and to what? At that moment a bugle (it had a tone quite aqual to a cathaydral, its from the Place of Arms began sounding fair owner considered) knelled forth that clearly, and was taken up through the town; fatal hour, Mrs. O'Dowd woke up her major, and amidst the drums of the infantry, and and had as comfortable a cup of coff-'e prethe shrill pipes of the Scotch, the whole pared for him as any made that morning in city awoke. Brussels. And who is there will deny that this worthy lady's preparations betokened affection as much as the fits of tears and hysCHAPTE:RI XXX. terics by which more sensitive females exhib"THE GIRL I LEFT BEHIND MES' ited their love, and that their partaking of this coffee, which they drank together while WE do not claim to rank among the mili- the bugles were sounding the turn-out and tary novelists. Our place is with the non- the drums beating in the various quarters of combatants. When the decks are cleared the town, was not more useful and to the 142 VANITY FAIR. purpose than the outpouring of any mere sations with Rebecca, although as a bachelor sentiment could be? The consequence was, they had never given him any disquiet. He that the major appeared on parade quite himself was struck with this pheno!nenon. trim, fresh, and alert, his well-shaved rosy " Hang it," he would say (or perhaps use a countenance, as he sate on horseback, giving still stronger expression out of his simple vocheerfulness and confidence to the whole cabulary), "before I was married I didn't corps. All the officers saluted her when care what bills I put my name to, and so,the regiment marched by the balcony on long as Moses would wait or Levy would which this brave woman stood, and waved renew for three months, I kept on never them a cheer as they passed; and I dare say minding. But since I'm married, except it was not from want of courage, but from a renewing, of course, I give you my honor sense of female delicacy and propriety, that I've not touched a bit of stamped paper." she refrained from leading the. gallant -th Rebecca always knew how to conjure personally into action. away these moods of melancholy. " Why, On Sundays and at periods of a solemn na- my stupid love," she would say, "' we have ture, Mrs. O'Dowd used to read with great not done with your aunt yet. If she fails gravity out of a large volume of her uncle us, isn't there what you call the Gazette? the dean's sermons. It had been of great or, stop, when your uncle Bute's life drops, comfort to her on board the transport as I have another scheme. The living has althey were coming home, and were very ways belonged to the younger brother, and nearly wrecked on their return from the why shouldn't you sell out and go into the West Indies. After the regiment's depar- church?" The idea of this conversion set ture she betook herself to the volume for Rawdon into roars of laughter: you might meditation; perhaps she did not understand have heard the explosion through the hotel much of what she was reading, and her at midnight, and the haw-haws of the great thoughts were elsewhere: but the sleep dragoon's voice. General Tufto heard him project, with poor Mick's nightcap there on from his quarters on the first floor below the pillow, was quite a vain one. So it is in them; and Rebecca acted the scene with the world. Jack or Donald marches away great spirit, and preached Rawdon's first to glory with his knapsack on his shoulder, sermon, to the immense delight of the genstepping out briskly to the tune of " The eral at brealifast. Girl I left behind ne." / It is she who re- But these were mere by-gone days and mains and suffers-and has the leisure to talk. When the final news arrived that the think, and brood, and remember.,..- campaign was opened, and the trnr)s were Knowing how useless regrets are, and how to march, Rawdon's gravity'bec.,all.e such the indulgence of sentiment only serves to that Becky rallied him about it in a manner make people more miserable, Mrs. Rebecca which rather hurt the feelings of the guardswisely determined to give way to no vain man. " You. don't suppose I'm afriaid, feelings of sorrow, and bore the parting Becky, I should think," he said, with a trefrom her husband with quite a Spartan mor in his voice. "But I'm a pretty good equanimity. Indeed, Captain Rawdon him- mark for a shot, and you see if it brings me self was much more affected at the leave- down, why I leave one and perhaps two taking than the resolute little woman to behind me whom I should wish to provide whom he bade farewell. She had mastered for, as 1 brought'em into the scrape. It is this rude, coarse nature; and he loved and no laughing matter that, Mrs. C., anyways." worshiped her with all his faculties of regard Rebecca by a hundred caresses and kind'and admiration. In all his life he had never words tried to soothe the feelings of the been so happy, as, during the past few wounded lover. It was only when her vimonths, his wife had made him. All former vacity and sense of humor got the better of delights of turf, mess, hunting-field, and this sprightly creature (as they would do gambling-table; all previous loves and court- under most circumstances of life indeed), that ships of milliners, opera-dancers, and the she would break out with her satire, but she like easy triumphs of the clumsy military could soon put on ademure face. " Dearest Adonis, were quite insipid when compared love,' she said, "do you suppose I feel to the lawful matrimonial pleasures which nothings?" and, hastily dashing something of late: he had enjoyed. She had known from her eyes, she looked up in her husperpetually how to divert him; and he had band's face with a smile. found his house and her society a thousand "Look here," said he. "If I drop, let tines more pleasant than any place or coin- us see what there is for you. I have had a pany which he had ever frequented from pretty good run of luck here, and here's two his childhood until now. And he cursed his hundred and thirty pounds. I have got ten past follies and extravagances, and bemoaned Napoleons in my pocket. That is as much his vast outlying debts, above all, which must as I shall want; for the general pays every remain forever as obstacles to prevent his thing like a prince; and if I'm hit, why you wife s advancement in the world. He had know I cost nothing..Don't cry, little often groaned over these in midnight conver- woman; I may live to vex you yet. Well, A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 143 I shan't take,either of my horses. but shall silence as they hastened after the troops of ride the general's gray charger: it's cheaper, the general's brigade, which preceded them; and I told him mine was lame. If I'm done, and it was not until they were some miles those two ought to fetch you something.' on their way that he left off twirling his Grigg offered ninety for the mare yesterday, mustache and broke silence. before this confounded news came, and like And Rebecca, as we have said, wisely dea fool I wouldn't let her go under the two termined not to give way to unavailing se.n9's. Bulfinch will fetch his price any day, timentality on her husband's departure. only you'd better sell him in this country, She waved him an adieu from the window, 9ecause the dealers have so many bills of and stood there for a moment looking out mine, and so I'd rather he shouldn't go back after he was gone. The cathedral towers to England. Your little mare the general and the full gables of the quaint old houses gave you will fetch something, and there's were just beginning to blush in the sunrise. no d-d livery stable bills here as there are There had been no rest for her that night. in London," Rawdon added, with a laugh. She was still in her pretty ball-dress, her "There's that dressing-case cost me two fair hair hanging somewhat out of curl on hundred-that is, I owe two for it; and the her neck, and the circles round her eyes gold tops and bottles must be worth thirty dark with watching. What a fsright I seem," or forty. Please to put that up the spout, she said, examining herself in the glass, ma'am, with my pins, and rings, and watch "and how pale this pink makes one look!" and chain, and things. They cost a precious So she divested herself of this pink raiment; lot of money. Miss Crawley, I know, paid in doing which a note fell out from her cora hundred down for the chain and ticker. sage, which she picked up with a smile, and Gold tops and bottles, indeed! damme, I'm locked into her dressing-box. And then sorry I didn't take more now. Edwards she put her bouquet of the ball into a glass pressed on me a silver-gilt boot-jack, and I of water, and went to bed, and slept very might have had a dressing-case fitted up comfortably. with a silver warming-pan, and a service of The town was quite quiet when she woke plate. But we must make the best of what up at ten o'clock, and partook of coffee, very we've got, Becky, you know." requisite and comfortable after the exhaustion And so, making his last dispositions, and grief of the morning's occurrences. Captain Crawley, who had seldom thought This meal over, she resumed honest about any thing but himself, until the last Rawdon's calculations of the night previous, few months of his life, when love had ob- and surveyed her position. Should the tained t — mastery over the dragoon, went worst befall, all things considered, she was through the various items of his little cata- pretty well to do. There were her own logue of effects, striving to see how they trinkets and trousseau, in addition to those might be turned into money for his wife's which her husband had left behind. Rawbenefit, in case any accident should befall don's generosity when they were first marhim. He pleased himself by noting down ried, has alleady been described and lauded. with a pencil, in his big school-boy hand- Besides these, and the little mare, the genewriting, the various items of his portable ral, her slave and worshiper, had made her property which might be sold for his widow's many very handsome presents in the shape advantage-as for example, "My double- of cashmere shawls bought at the auction of barrel by Manton, say 40 guineas; my a bankrupt French general's lady, and nu driving cloak, lined with sable fur, oC50; merous tributes from the jewelers' shops, my dueling pistols in rosewood case (same all of which betokened her admirer's taste which I shot Captain Marker), X20; my and wealth. As for "tickers," as poor regulation saddle-holsters and housings; my Rawdon called watches, her apartments Laurie ditto," and so forth, over all of which were alive with their clicking, For happenarticles he made Rebecca the mistress. ing to mention one night that hers, which Faithfuil to his plan of economy, the cap- Rawdon had given to her, was of English tain dressed himself in his oldest and shab- workmanship, and went ill, on the very next biest uniform and epaulets, leaving the new- morning there came to her a little bijou est behind, under his wife's (or it might be marked Leroy, with a chain and cover charmhis widow's) guardianship. And this famous ingly set with turquoises, and another signed dandy of Windsor and Hyde Park went off Breguet, which was covered with pearls, and oA his campaign with a kit as modest as that yet scarcely bigger than a half-crown. of a sergeant, and with something like a General Tufto had bought one, and Captain prayer on his lips for the woman he was Osborne had gallantly presented the other. leaving. He took her up from the ground, Mrs. Osborne had no watch, though, to do and held her in his arms for a minute, tight George justice, she might have had one for pressed against his strong-beating heart. the asking, and the Honorable Mrs. Tufto His face was purple and his eyes dim, as he in England had an old instrument of her put her down and left her. He rode by his mother's that might have served for the general's side, and smoked his cigar in plate warming-pan which Rawdon talked 144 VANITY FAIR. about. If Messrs. Howell and James were his might in the direction of George's apart. to publish a list of the purchasers of all merts, striding about the room, upsetting the trinkets which they sell, how surprised the chairs, beating the tattoo, biting his would some families be; and if all these nails, and showing other signs of great inornaments went to gentlemen's lawful wives ward emotion. and daughters, what a profusion of jewelry Jos had always had rather a mean opinion there would be exhibited in the genteelest of the captain, and now began to think his homes of Vanity Fair! courage was somewhat equivocal. " WVhat Every calculation made of tltse valuables is it I can do for you, Dobbin?" he said in a Mrs. Rebecca found, not without a pungent sarcastic tone. feeling of triumph and self-satisfaction, that " I tell you what you can do," the captain should circumstances occur, she might reckon replied, uoming up to the bed; "we march on six or seven hundred pounds at- the in a quarter of an hour, Sedley, and neither least, to begin the world with: and she pass- George nor I may qver come back. Mind ed the morning disposing, ordering, look- you, you are not to stir from this town until ing out, and locking up her properties in the you ascertain how things go. You are to most agreeable manner. Among the notes stay here and watch over your sister, and in Rawdon's pocket-book was a draft for comfort her, and see that no harm comes to twenty pounds on Osborne's banker. This her. If any thing happens to George, remade her think about Mrs. Osborne. " Iwill member she has no one but you in the go and get the draft cashed," she said, "' and world to look to. If it goes wrong with the pay a visit afterward to poor little Emmy." army, you'll see her safe back to England; If this is a novel without a hero, at least let and you will promise me on your word that us lay claim t;o a heroine. No man in the you will never desert her. I know you British army which has marched away, not won't as far as money goes: you were the great duke himself, could be more cool always free enough with that. Do you want or collected in the presence of doubts and any? I mean, have you enough gold to difficulties, than the indomitable little aid- take you back to England in case of a misde-camp's wife. fortune?" And there was another of our acquaint- " Sir," said Jos, majestically, " when I ances who was also to be left behind, a non- want money, I know where to ask for it. combatant, and whose emotions and behavior And as for my sister, you needn't tell me we have therefore a right to know. This how I ought to behave to her." was our friend the ex-collector of Boggley "You speak like a man of spirit, Jos," Wollah, whose rest was broken, like other the other answered, good-naturedly, "and people's, by the sounding of the bugles in I am glad that George can leave her in such the early morning. Being a great sleeper, good hands. So I may give him your word and fond of his bed, it is possible he would of honor, may I, that in case of extremity have snoozed on until his usual hour of you will stand by her?" rising in the forenoon, in spite of all the Of course, of course?" answered Mr. Jos, drums, bugles, and bagpipes in the British whose generosity in money matters Dobbin army, but for an interruption, which did not estimated quite correctly. come from George Osborne, who shared;"And you'll see her safe out of Brussels Jos's quarters with him, and was as usual in the event of a defeat?" occupied too much with his own affairs, or "A defeat! D- it, sir, it's impossible. with grief at parting with his wife, to think Don't try and firighten me," the hero cried of taking leave of his slumbering brother-in- fiom his bed; and Dobbin's mind was thus law-it was not George, we say, who inter- perfectly set at ease now that Jos had spoposed between Jos Sedley and sleep, but ken out so resolutely respecting his conduct Captain Dobbin, who came and roused him to his sister. "At least," thought the capup, insisting on shaking hands with him be- tain, "there will be a retreat secured for fore his departure. her in case the worst should ensue." "Very kind of you," said Jos, yawning, If Captain Dobbin expected to get any and wishing the captain at the deuce. personal comfort and satisfaction from having " I —I didn't like to go off without saying one more view of Amelia before the regigood by, you know," Dobbin said in a very in- ment marlched away, his selfishness was coherent manner; "because you know some punished just as such odious egotism deof us mayn't come-back again, and I like to served to be. The door of Jos's bedroom see you all well and-and that sort of thing, opened into the sitting-room which was cornyou know." mon to the family party, and opposite this "What do you mean?" Jos asked, rub- door was that of Amelia's chamber. The bing his eyes. The captain did not in the bugles had wakened every body: there was least hear him or look at the stout gentle- no use in concealment now. George's servman in the night-cap, about whom he pro- ant was packing in this room: Osborrne conmfessed to have such a tender interest. The ing in and out of the contiguous bedroom, hypocrite was looking apnd listening with all flinging to the man such articles as he thought A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 143 fit to carry on the campaign. And presently and p'iace military valor so far beyond every Dobbin had the opportunity which his heart othe'r quality for reward and worship? coveted, and he got sight of Amelia's face S,o, at the sound of that stirring call to once more. But what a face it was! So ba'ttle, George jumped away from the gentle white, so wild and despair-stricken, that Ilrms in which he had been dallying; not the remembrance of it haunted him after- without a feeling of shame (although his sward like a crime, and the sight smote hir.ml wife's hold on him had been but feeble), that with inexpressible pangs of longing wad he should have been detained there so long..oity. The same feeling of eagerness and exciteShe was wrapped in a white morning ment was among all those friends of his of dress, her hair falling on her shoulders, and whom we have had occasional glimpses, from her large eyes fixed and without light. By the stout senior major, who led the regiment way of helping on the preparations for the into action, to little Stubble, the ensign, who departure, and showing that she, too, could was to bear its colors on that day. be useful at a moment so critical, this poor The sun was just rising as the march besoul had taken up a sash of'George's from gan-it was a gallant sight-the band led the the drawers whereon it lay, and followed column, playing the regimental march-then him to and fio with the sash in her hand, came the major in command, riding upon looking on mutely as his packing proceeded. Pyramus, his stout charger-then marched She came out and stood, leaning at the wall, the grenadiers, their captain at their head; holding this sash against her bosom, firom in the center were the colors, borne by the which the heavy net of crimson dropped like senior and junior ensigns-then George came a large stain of blood. Our gentle-hearted marching at the head of his company. He captain felt a guilty shock as he looked at looked up and smiled at Amelia, and passed her. "Good God,'" thought he, " and is it on; and even the sound of the music died grief like this I dared to pry into?" And away. there was no help: no means to soothe and comfort this helpless, speechless misery. He stood for a moment and looked at her, CHAPTER XXXI powerless and torn with pity, as a parent regards an infant in pain. IN WHICH JOS SEDLEY TAKES CARE OF HIS At last, George took Emmy's hand, and SISTER. led her back into the bed-room, from whence THus all the superior officers being sumhe came out alone. The parting had taken moned on duty elsewhere, Jos Sedley was place in that moment, and he was gone. left in command of the little colony at Brus"' Thank Heaven that is over," George sels, with Amelia invalid, Isidor his Belgian thought, bounding down the stair, his sword servant, and the bonne, who was maid-of-allunder his arm, and as he ran swiftly to the work for the establishment, as a garrison alarm-ground, where the regiment was under him. Though he was disturbed in mustered, and whither trooped men and of- spirit, and his rest destroyed by Dobbin's ficers hurirying from their billets, his pulse interruption and the occurrences of the was throbbing and his cheeks flushed: the morning, Jos nevertheless remained for great game of war was going to be played, many hours in bed, wakeful and rolling and he one of the players. What a fierce about there until his usual hour of rising had excitement of doubt, hope, and pleasure! arrived. The sun was high in the heavens, What tremendous hazards of loss or gain! and our gallant fiiends of the — th miles on What were all the games of chance he had their march, before the civilian appeared in ever played compared to this one? Into all his flowered dressing-gown at breakfast. contests requiring athletic skill and courage, About George's absence, his brother-inthe young man, from his boyhood upward, law was very easy in mind. Perhaps Jos had flung himself with all his might. The was rather pleased in his heart that Osborne champion of his school and his regiment, the was gone, for during George's presence, the bravos of his companions had followed him other had played but a very secondary part in every where; from the boys' cricket-match the household, and Osborne did not scruple to the garrison-races, he had won a hundred to show his contempt for the stout civilian. of triumphs; and whereverhe went, women But Emmy had always been good and atand men had admired and envied him. tentive to him. It was she who' minisWhat qualities are there for which a man tered to his comforts, who superintended gets so speedy a return of applause, as those the dishes that he liked, who walked or rode of bodily superiority, activity, and valor? with him (as she had many, too many, opTime out of mind strength and courage have portunities of doing, for where was George?) been the theme of bards and romances; and and who interposed her sweet, kind face befrom the story of Troy down to to-day, po- tween his anger and her husband's scorn. etry has always chosen a soldier for a hero. Many timid remonstrances had she uttered Twonder is it because men are cowards in to George in behalf of her brother. But the heart that they admire bravery so much, latter in his trenchant way cut these en K 146 VANITY FAIR. treaties short. "I'm an honest manr," he and toilet knicknacks to a young lady of said, "and if I have a feeling I show lit, as whom he was fond; and keep the English an honest man will. How the deuce, my cutlery and the large ruby pin for himself. dear, would you have me behave respectful- It would look very smart upon one of the ly to such a fool as your brother?" S-o fine frilled shirts, which, with the gold-laced Jos was pleased with George's absence. cap and the firogged frock coat, that might His plain hat, and gloves on a sideboard, and easily be cut down to suit his shape, and the the idea that the owner was away, caused ctvptain's gold-headed cane, and the great Jos I don't know what secret thrill of pleas- dovble ring with the rubies, which he would ure. " He won't be troubling me this morn- have made into a pair of beautiful ear rings, ing," Jos thought, "'; with his dandified airs he calrulated would make a perfect Adonis and his impudence." of himself, and render Madamoiselle Reine "Put the captain's hat into the ante- an easy prey. "How those sleeve-buttons room," he said, to Isidor, the servant. will suit me," thought he, as he fixed a pair "Perhaps he won't want it again," re- on the fat, pudgy wrist of Mr. Sedley. "1 plied the lackey, looking knowingly at his long for sleive-buttons; and the captain's master. He hated George, too, whose in- boots with brass spurs, in the next room, solence toward him was quite of the English corbleu what an effect they will make in the sort. Allee-Verte!" So while Monsieur Isidor "And ask if madam is coming to break- with bodily fingers was holding on to his fast," Mr. Sedley said with great majesty, master's nose, and shaving the lower part of ashamed to enter with a servant upon the Jos's face, his imagination was rambling subject of his dislike for George. The truth along the Green Avenue, dressed out in a is, he had abused his brother to the valet a fiogged coat and lace, and in company with score of times before. Mademoiselle Reine; he was loitering in Alas! madam could not come to break- spirit on the banks, and examining"the barges fast, and cut the tartines that Mr. Jos liked. sailing slowly under the cool shadows of the Madam was a great deal too ill, and had trees by the canal, or refreshing himself been in a frightful state ever since her hus- with a mug of Faro at the bench of a beerband's departure, so her bonne said. Jos house on the road to Laeken. showed his sympathy, by pouring her out a But Mr. Joseph Sedley, luckily for his large cup of tea. It was his way of exhibiting own peace, no more knew what was passing kindness: and he improved on this; he not in his domestic's mind than the respected only sent her breakfast, but: he bethought reader and I suspect what John or Mary, him what delicacies she would most like for whose wages we pay, think of ourselves dinner. What our servants think of us! Did we Isidor, the valet, had looked on very sulk- know what our intimates and dear relations ily, while Osborne's servant was disposing of thought of us, we should live in a world that his master's baggage previous to the captain's we should be glad to quit, and in a frame of departure: for in the first place he hated mind and a constant terror, that would be Mr. Osborne, whose conduct to him, and to perfectly unbearable. So Jos's man was all inferiors, was generally overbearing (nor marking his victim down, as you see one of does the continental domestic like to be Mr. Paynter's assistants in Leader.halltreated with insolence as our own better- street ornament an unconscious turtle with tempered servants do); and secondly, he a placard on which is written, "Soup to was angry that so many valuables should be morrow." removed from under his hands, to fall into other people's possession when the English Amelia's attendant was much less selfishly discomfiture should arrive. Of this defeat disposed. Few dependents could come near he and a vast number of other persons in that kind and gentle creature without paying Brussels and Belgium did not make the their usual tribute of loyalty and affection to slightest doubt. The almost universal be- her sweet and affectionate nature. And it lief was, that the emperor would divide the is a fact that Pauline, the cook, consoled her Prussian and English armies, annihilate one mistress more the-n any body whom she after the other, and march into Brussels be- saw on this wreltheed morning; for wher fore three days were over; when all the she found how Atrmelia remained for hours, movables of his present masters, who would silent, motionless, and haggard, by the winbe killed, or fugitives, or prisoners, would dows in which she had placed herself to lawfully become the property of Monsieur watch the last bayonets of the column as it Isidor. marched away, the honest girl took the As he helped Jos through his toilsome lady's hand, and said, Tenez, Madame, est-ce and complicated daily toilet, this faithful qu'il ne'st pas aussi ad'armfe, mon homme servant would calculate what he should do a' moi? with which she burst into tears, with the very articles with which he was and Amelia falling into her arms, did likedecorating his master's person. He would wise, and so each pitied trid soothed the make a present of the silver essence-bottles other. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 147 Several t imes during the forenoon Mr. against any force Bony can bring in the los's Isidor went from his lodgings into the field," Mr. Sedley objected; "the Austrians town, and to the gates of the hotels and and the Russians are on their march. He lodegtg-houses round about the Parc, where must, he shall be crushed," Jos said, slapping the English were congregated, and there his hand on the table. mingling with other valets, couriers, and 4" The Prussians were theree to one at lackeys, gathered such news as was abroad, Jena, and he took their army and kingdom and brought back bulletins for his master's iri a week. They were six to one at Montinformation. Almost all these gentlemen mirail, and he scattered them like sheep. were in heart partisans of the emperor, and The Austrian army is coming, but with the had their opinions about the speedy end of empress and the King of Rome at its head; the campaign. The emperor's proclamation and the Russians, bah! the Russians will from Avesnes had been distributed every withdraw. No quarter is to be given to the where plentifully in Brussels. " Soldiers," English, on account of their cruelty to our it said, "this is the anniversary of Mlarengo braves on board the infamous pontoons, and Friedland, by which the destinies of Look here, here it is in black and white. Europe were twice decided. Then, as after Here's the proclamation of his majesty the Austerlitz, as after Wagram, we were too emperor and king," said the now declared generous. We believed in the oaths and partisan of Napoleon, and talking the docupromises of princes whom we suffered to ment from his pocket, Isidor sternly thrust, remain upon their thrones. Let us march it into his master's face, and already looked once more to meet them. We and they, upon the frogged coat and valuables as his are we not still the same men? Soldiers! own spoil. these same Prussians who are so arrogant Jos was, if not seriously alarmed as yet, to-day, were three to one against you at at least considerably disturbed in mind. Jena, and six to one at Montmirail. Those "Give me my coat and cap, sir," said he,,among you who were prisoners in England "and follow me. I will go myself and learn can tell their comrades what frightful tor- the truth of these reports." Isidor was ments they suffered on boar] the English furious as Jos put on the braided frock. bulks. Madmen! a moment of prosperity "1 Milor had better not wear that military has blinded them, and if they enter into coat," said he; "'the Frenchmen have sworn!France it will be to find a grave there!" not to give quarter to a single British solBut the partisans of the French prophesied dier." a more speedy extermination of the empe- " Silence, sirrah!" said Jos, with a resoror's enemies than this: and it was agreed lute countenance still, and thrust his arm on all hands that Prussians and British would into the sleeve with indomitable resolution, never return except as prisoners in the rear in the performance of which heroic act he of the conquering army. was found by Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, who These opinions in the course of the day at this juncture caine up to visit Amelia, and were brought to operate upon Mr. Sedley. entered without ringing at the ante-chamber He was told that the Duke of Wellington door. had gone to try and rally his army, the ad- Rebecca was dressed very neatly and vance of which had been utterly crushed the smartly, as usual; her quiet sleep after night before. Rawdon's departure had refreshed her, and "Crushed, psha!" said Jos, Whose heart her pink smiling cheeks were quite pleasant was pretty stout at breakfast-time. " The I to look at, in a town and on a day when duke has gone to beat the emperor, as he every body else's countenance wore the has beaten all his generals before." appearance of the deepest anxiety and gloom. " His papers are burned, his effects are She laughed at the attitude in which Jos removed, and his quarters are being got was discovered, and the struggles and conready for the Duke of Dalmatia," Jos's in- vulsions with which the stout gentleman formant replied. "I had it from his own thrust himself into the braided coat. maltre dt'htel. Milor Duc de Richemont's " Are you preparing to join the army, Mr, people are packing up every thing. His Joseph?" she said.';"Is there to be nobody.grace has fled already, and the duchess is left in Brussels to protect us poor women?" only waiting to see the plate packed to join Jos succeeded in plunging into the coat, and the King of France at Ostend." came forward blushing and stuttering out "The King of France is at Ghent, fellow," excuses to his fair visitor. "l How was she replied Jos, affecting incredulity. after the events of the t'rng —after the "He fled last night to Bruges, and em- fatigues of the ball tiie night before?" barks to-day from Ostend. The Duke de Monsieur Isidor disappeared into his masBerri is taken prisoner. Those who wish ter's adjacent bed-room, bearing off the to be safe had better go soon, for the dykes flowered dressing-gown. will be open to-morrow, and who can fly "How good of you to ask," sP'ld she, when the whole country is under water?" pressing one of his hands in both her own. "Nonsense, sir, we are three to one, sir, "How cool and collected you look when 148 VANITY FAIR. every body else is fiightened! How is our putting her handkerchief to her eyes, and dear little Emmy? It must nave been an smelling the cau-de-cologne with which it awful, awful parting." was scented. "I have done you injustice:'Tremendous," Jos said. you have got a heart. I thought you *had "You men can bear any thing," replied not." the lady. " Parting or danger are nothing " 0, upon my honor!" Jos said, making a to you. Own now that you were going to motion as if he would lay his hand upon the join the army, and leave us to our fate. I spot in question. " You do me injustice, know you were-something tells me you indeed you do-my dear Mrs. Crawley." were. 1 was so frightened, when the'"I do, now your heart is true to your sisthought came into my head (for I do some- ter. But I remember two years ago-when times think of you when I am alone, Mr. it was false to me!" Rebecca said, fixing her Joseph!) that I ran off immediately to beg eyes upon him for an instant, and then turnand entreat you not to fly from us." ing away into the window. This speech might be interpreted, "My Jos blushed violently. That organ which dear sir, should an accident befall the army, he was accused by Rebecca of not possessand a retreat be necessary, you have a very ing began to thump tumultuously. He recomfortable carriage, in which I propose to called the days when he had fled from her, take a seat." I don't know whether Jos and the passion which had once inflamed understood the words in this sense. But he him —the days when he had driven her in was profoundly mortified by the lady's inat- his curricle; when she had knit the green tention to him during their stay at Brussels. purse for him; when he had sate enrapHe had never been presented to any of tured gazing at her white arms, and bright Rawdon Crawley's great acquaintances; he eyes. had scarcely been invited to Rebecca's par- " I know you think me ungrateful," Reties; for he was too timid to play much, becca continued, coming out of the window, and his presence bored George and Rawdon and once more looking at him and addressing equally, who neither of them, perhaps, liked him in a low, tremulous voice. "Your coldto have a witness of the amusements in ness, your averted looks, your manner when which the pair chose to indulge. " Ah!" we have met of late —when I came in just thought Jos, "now she wants me she comes now, all proved it to me. But were there to me. When there is nobody else in the no reasons why I should avoid you? Let way she can think about old Joseph Sedley!" your own heart answer that question. DG But besides these doubts he felt flattered at you think my husband was too much inthe idea Rebecca expressed of his courage. dined to welcome you? The only unkind He blushed a good deal, and put on an air words I have ever had fiom him (I will de of importance. "I should like to see the Captain Crawley that justice) have been action," he said. " Every man of any spirit about you-and most cruel, cruel words they would, you know. I've seen a little service were." in India, but nothing on this grand scale." "Good gracious! what have I done?" " You men would sacrifice any thing for asked Jos in a flurry of pleasure and pera pleasure," Rebecca answered. " Captain plexity; " what have I done-to-to-?" Crawley left me this morning as gay as if he "Is jealousy nothing?" said Rebecca. was going to a hunting party. What does " He makes me miserable about you. And he care! What do any of you care for whatever it might have been once-my the agonies and tortures of a poor forsaken heart is all his. I am innocent now. Am I woman? (I wonder whether he could real- not, Mr. Sedley?" ly have been going to the troops, this great All Jos's blood tingled with delight, as he lazy gourmand?) Oh, dear Mr. Sedley, I surveyed this victim to his attractions. A have come to you for comfort-for consola- few adroit words, one or two knowing, tention. I have been on my knees all the der glances of the eyes, and his heart was morning. I tremble at the frightful danger inflamed again, and his doubts and suspicions into which our husbands, our friends, our forgotten. From Solomon downward, have brave troops and allies, are rushing. And I not wiser men than he been cajoled and become here for shelter, and find another of fooled by women? " If the worst comes to my friends-the last remaining to me-bent the worst," Becky thought, " my retreat is upon plunging into the dreadful scene!" secure; and I have a right-hand seat in the " My dear madam," Jos replied, now be- barouche." ginning to be quite soothed. " Don't be There is no knowing into what declaraalarmed. I only said I should like to go- tions of love and ardor the tumultous passions what Briton would not? But my duty of Mr. Joseph might have led him, if Isidor, keeps me here: I can't leave that poor the valet, had not made his re-appearance at creature in the next room." And he point- this minute, and begun to busy himself ed with his finger to the door of the cham- about the domestic affairs. Jos, who was ber in which Amelia was. just going to gasp out an avowal, choked al4 "Good, noble brother!" Rebecca said, most with the emotion that he was obliged A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 149 to restrain. Rebecca, too, bethought her " Are you well?" said Amelia. "I dare theft it was time she should go in and cornm- say you are. You don't love your husband. fort her dearest Amelia. "Au revoir," she You would not be here if you did. Tell me, sai(l, kissing her hand to Mr. Joseph, and Rebecca, did I ever do you any thing but tap:ped gently at the door of his sister's apart- kindness?" mtent. As she entered and closed the door " Indeed, Amelia, no," the other said, still or, herself, he sank down in a chair, and hanging down her head. gazed a.nd sighed and puffed portentously. "When you were quite poor, who was it " That coat is very tight for Milor," Isidor that befriended you? Was I not a sister to said, still having his eye on the frogs; but you? You saw us all in happier days before his master heard him not: his thoughts he married me. Iwas allin all thento him; were elsewhere: now glowing, maddening, or would he have given up his fortune, his npon the contemplation of the enchanting family, as he nobly did, to make me happy? Rebecca: anon shrinking guiltily before the Why did you come between rmylove and me? vision of the jealous Rawdon Crawley, with Who sent you to separate those whom God his curling, fierce mustaches, and his terri- joined, and take my darling's heart from me ble dueling pistols loaded and cocked. -my own husband? Do you think you Rebecca's appearance struck Amelia with could love him as I did? His love was every terror, and made her shrink back. It re- thing to me. You knew it, and wanted to called her to the world and the remembrance rob me of it. For shame, Rebecca; bad and of yesterday. In the overpowering fears wicked woman-false friend and false wife." about to-morrow she had forgotten Rebecca, "Amelia, I protest before God, 1 have -jealousy-every thing except that her hus- done my husband no wrong," Roebecca said, band was gone, and was in danger. Until turning from her. this dauntless worldling came in and broke "Have you done me no wrong, Rebecca? the spell, and lifted the latch, we too have You did not succeed, but you tried. A&'foreborne to enter into that sad chamber. your heart if you did not?" How long had that poor girl been on her "She knows nothing," Rebecca thought knees! what hours of speechless prayer and "He came back to me. I knew he woul bitter prostration had she passed there! I knew that no falsehood, no flattery, coul The war-chroniclers who write brilliant sto- keep him from me long. I knew he wou. ries of fight and triumph scarcely tell us of come. I prayed so that he should." these. These are too mean parts of the The poor girl spoke these words with a pageant: and you don't hear widows' cries spirit and volubility which Rebecca had never or mothers' sobs in the midst of the shouts before seen in her, and before which the and jubilation in the great chorus of victory. latter was quite dumb. " But what have I And yet when was the time, that such have done to you," she continued in a more pitiful not cried out: heart-broken, humble protest- tone, "that you should try and take him ants, unheard in the uproar of the triumph! firom me? I had him but for six weeks. After the first movement of terror in Ame- You might have spared me those, Rebecca. iia's mind —when Rebecca's green eyes light- And yet, from the very first day of our weded upon her, and rustling in her fresh silks ding, you came and blighted it. Now he is and brilliant ornaments, the latter tripped gone, are you come to see how unhappy I up with extended arms to embrace her-a am?" She continued, " You made me feeling of. anger succeeded, and firom being wretched enough for the past fortnight: you deadly pale before, her trhce flushed up red, might have spared me to-day." and she returned Rebecca's look, after a " I-I never came here," interposed Remoment, with a steadiness which surprised becca, with unlucky truth. and somewhat abashed her rival. "No. You didn't come. You took hitn "Dearest Amelia, you are very unwell," away. Are you come to fetch him from the visitor said, putting forth her hand to me?" she continued in a wilder tone. " He take Amelia's. " What is it? I could not was here, but he is gone now. There on rest until I knew how you were." that very sofa he sate. Don't touch it. We Amelia drew back her hand-never since sate and talked there. I was on his knee, her life began had that gentle soul refused and my arms were round his neck, and we ta believe or to answer any demonstration of said' Our Father.' Yes, he was here: and good-will or affection. But she drew back they came and took him away, but he pribherlhand, and trembled all over. "Why are rised me to come back." you here, Rebecca?" she said, still looking " He will come back, my dear," said Reat her solemnly with her large eyes. These becca, touched in spite of herself. glances troubled her visitor. "Look," said Amelia, " this is his sash4' She must have seen him give me the let- isn't it a pretty color? " and she took up the ter at the ball,"'' Rebecca thought. " Don't fiinge and kissed it. She had tied it round be agitated, dear Amelia," she said, looking her waist at some part of the day. She down. " I came but to see if, if I could-if had forgotten her anger, her jealousy, the you were well." very presence of her rival seemingly For 150 VANITY FAIR. she walked silently and almost with a smile ever; and she was the better of this cont ro upon her face, toward the bed, and began and company. They went on till t,wo to smooth down George's pillow. o'clock; their hearts were with the colu mn Rebecca walked, too, silently away. "How as it marched farther and farther away. is Amelia?" asked Jos, who still held his Dreadful doubt and anguish-prayers:and position in the chair. fears and griefs unspeakable-followed the " There should be somebody withl her," regiment. It was the women's tribute to said Rebecca. " I think she is very unwell';" the war. It taxes both alike, and takes tbh and she went away with a very grave face, blood of the men, and the tears of the women. refusing Mr. Sedley's entreaties that she At half-past two an event occurred of would stay and partake of the early dinner daily importance to Mr. Joseph: the dinner which he had ordered. hour arrived. Warriors may fight and perish, but he must dine. He came into Rebecca was of a good-natured and oblig- Amelia's room to see if he could coax her ing disposition; and she liked Amelia rather to share that meal.' Try," said he; i" the than otherwise. Even her hard words, re- soup is very good. Do try, Emmy," and proachful as they were, were complimentary he kissed her hand. Except when she -the groans of a person stinging under de- was married, he had not done so much fol feat. Meeting Mrs. O'Dowd, whom the years before. "You are very good and dean's sermons had by no means comforted, kind, Joseph," she said. "Every body is, and who was walking very disconsolately in but, if you please, I will stay in my room the Parc, Rebecca accosted the latter, rather to-day." to the surprise of the major's wife, who was The savor of the soup, however, was not accustomed to such marks of politeness agreeable to Mrs. O'Dowd's nostrils; and from Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, and informing she thought she would bear Mr. Jos com her that poor little Mrs. Osborne was in a pany. So the two sate down to their meal. desperate condition, and almost mad with " God bless the meat," said the major's grief, sent off the good-natured Irishwoman wife, solemnly; she was thinking of her straight to see if she could console her young honest Mick, riding at the head of his regifavorite. ment; "'Tis but a bad dinner those poor " I've cares of my own enough," Mrs. boys will get to-day," she said, with a sigh, O'Dowd said gravely, " and I thought poor and then, like a philosopher, fell to. Amelia would be little wanting for company Jos's spirits rose with his meal. He would this day. But if she's so bad as you say, drink the regiment's health; or, indeed, take and you can't attend to her, who used to any other excuse to indulge in a glass of be so fond of her, faith I'll see if I can be champagne. " We'll drink to O'Dowd and of service. And so good marning to ye, the brave -th," said he, bowing gallantly to madam;" with which speech and a toss of his guest. "Hey, Mrs. O'Dowd. Fill her head,'the lady of the repayther took a Mrs. O'Dowd's glass, Isidor." farewell of Mrs. Crawley, whose company But all of a sudden, Isidor started, and she by no means courted. the major's wife laid down her knife and Becky watched her marching off, with a fork. The windows of the room were open, smile on her lip. She had the keenest sense and looked southward, and a dull, distant of humor, and the Parthian look which the sound came over the sun-lighted roofs from retreating Mrs. O'Dowd flung over her that direction. "What is it?" said Jos. shoulder, almost upset Mrs. Crawley's "Why don't you pour, you rascal?" gravity. "s My service to ye, me fine mad- " C'est lefeu," said Isidor, running to the am, and I'm glad to see ye so cheerful," balcony. thought Peggy. " It's not you that will cry "God defend us; it's cannon!" Mrs. your eyes out with grief, any way." And O'Dowd cried, starting up, and followed too with this she passed on, and speedily found to the window. A thousand pale and anxious her way to Mrs. Osborne's lodgings. faces might have been seen looking fronm The poor soul was still at the bedside, other casements. And presently it seemed where Rebecca had left her, and stood al- as if the whole population of the city rushed most crazy with grief. The major's wife, into the streets. a stronger minded woman, endeavored her best to comfort her young friend. "You must bear up, Amelia dear," she said kindly,'" for he mustn't find you ill when he sends CHAPTER XXXII. for you after'the victory. It's not you are the only woman that are in the hands of IN WHICH JOS TAKES FLIGHT, A O THE God this day." WAR 1s BROUGHT TQ A CLOSE. "' I know that. I am very wicked, very WE of peaceful London city have never weak," Amelia said. She knew her own beheld-and please God never shall witness weakness well enough. The presence of -such a scene of hurry and alarm, as that the more resolute friend checked it, how- which Brussels presented. Crowds rushed A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 151 to the Narnur gate, from which direction light in the cheerless company of his empty the noise proceeded, and many rode along champagne-bottles, he began to open his the level chaussfe, to be in advance of any mind to her. intelligence from the army. Each man "Mrs. O'Dowd," he said, "hadn't you asked his neighbor for news; and even better get Amelia ready?" great English lords and ladies condescended "Are you going to take her out a walk?" to speak to persons whom they did not said the major's lady; "sure she's too weak know. The friends of the French went to stir." abroad, wild with excitement, and prophe- "I —I've ordered the carriage," he said, sying the triumph of their emperor. The " and-and post-horses; Isidor is gone for merchants closed their shops, and came out them," Jos continued. to swell the general chorus of alarm and "'What do you want with driving toclamor. Women rushed to the churches, night 7?" answered the lady. "Isn't she and crowded the chapels, and kneeled and better on her bed?7 I've just got her to lie prayed on the flags and steps. The dull down." sound of the cannon went on rolling, rolling. "Get her up," said Jos; " she must get Presently carriages with travelers began to up, I say:" and he stamped his foot enerleave the town, galloping away by the Ghent getically. " say the horses are orderedbarrier. The prophecies of the French par- yes, the horses are ordered. It's all over, tisans began to pass for facts. "' He has cut and-" the armies in two," it was said. " He is "And what?" asked Mrs. O'Dowd. marching straight on Brussels. He will;I'm off for Ghent," Jos answered. overpower the English, and be here to-'"Every body is going; there is a place for night." "He will overpower the English," you! We shall start in half-an-hour." shrieked Isidor to his master, "and will be The major's wife looked at him with here to-night." The man bounded in and infinite scorn. "' I don't move till O'Dowd out from the lodgings to the street, always gives me the route," said she. "You may returning with some fresh particulars of go if you like, Mr. Sedley; but, faith, disaster. Jos's face grew paler and paler. Amelia and I stop here." Alarm began to take entire possession of " She shall go," said JTos, with another the stout civilian. All the champagne he stamp of his foot. Mrs. O'Dowd put herdrank brought no courage to him. Before self with arms akimbo before the bed-room sunset he was worked up to such a pitch door. of nervousness as gratified his friend Isidor "Is it her mother you're going to take to behold, who now counted surely upon the her to?" she said; " or do you want to go spoils of the owner of the laced coat. to mamma yourself, Mr. Sedley? Good The women were away all this time. marning-a pleasant journey to ye, sir. After hearing the firing for a moment, the Bon voyage, as they say, and take my counstout major's wife bethought her of her sel, and shave off them mustaches, or they'll friend in the next chamber, and ran in to bring you into mischief." watch, and if possible to console Amelia. "D-n!" yelled out Jos, wild with fear, The idea that she had that helpless and rage, and mortification; and Isidor came gentle creature to protect, gave additional in at this juncture, swearing in his turn. strength to the natural courage of the honest "Pas de cheveaux, sacreblue! " hissed out Irishwoman. She passed five hours by her the furious domestic. All the horses were friend's side, sometimes in remonstrance, gone. Jos was not the only man in Brussometimes talking cheerfully, oftener in sels seized with panic that day. silence, and terrified mental supplication. But Jos's fears, great and cruel as they " I never let go her hand once," said the were already, were destined to increase to stout lady afterward, " until after sunset, an almost frantic pitch before the night was when the firing was over." Pauline, the over. It has been mentioned how Pauline, bonne, was on her knees at church, hard the bonne, had son homme a elle, also in the by, praying for son homme a elle.- ranks of the army that had gone out to meet WThen the noise of the cannonading was the Emperor Napoleon. This lover was a over, Mrs. O'Dowd issued out of Amelia's native of Brussels, and a Belgian hussar. room into the parlor adjoining, where Jos The troops of his nation signalized themsate with two emptied flasks, and courage selves in this war for any thing but courage, entirely gone. Once or twice he had ven- young Van Cutsum, Pauline's admirer, was tured into his sister's bed-room, looking too good a soldier to disobey his colonel's very much alarmed, and as if he would say orders to run away. While in garrison at something. But the major's wife kept her Brussels young Regulus (he had been born place, and he went away without disbur- in the revolutionary times) found his great thening himself of his speech. He was comfort, and passed almost all his leisure ashamed to tell her that he wanted to fly. moments in Pauline's kitchen; and it was But when she made her appearance in with pockets and holsters crammed full of the dining-room, where he sate in the twi- good things from her larder, that he had taken 152 VANITY FAIR. leave of his weeping sweetheart, to proceed the English. The Brunswickers were rout upon the campaign a few days before. ed and had fled-their duke was killed. It As far as his regiment was concerned,,this was a general debacle. He sought to drown campaign was over now. They had formed his sorrow for the defeat in floods cf beer., a part of the division under the command of Isidor, who had come into the kitchen. his sovereign apparent, the Prince of Orange, heard the conversation, and rushed out to in and as respected length of swords and' mus- form his master. " It is all over," he shriek taches, and the richness of uniform and ed to Jos.'' Milor Duke is a prisoner; the equipments, Regulus and his comrades look- Duke of Brunswick is killed; the British ed to be as gallant a body of men as ever army is in full flight; there is only one man trumpets sounded for. escaped, and he is in the kitchen now-come When Ney dashed upon the advance of the and hear him." So Jos tottered into that allied troops, carrying one position after the apartment where Regulus still sate on the other, until the arrival of the great body of the kitchen-table, and clung fast to his flagon of British army fi'om Brussels changed the as- beer. In the best French which he could pect of the combat of Quatre Bras, the squad- muster, and which was in sooth of a very un rons among which Regulus rode showed the grammatical sort, Jos besought the hussar to greatest activity in retreating before the tell his tale. The disasters deepened as French, and were dislodged from one post Regulus spoke. He was the only man of his and another which they occupied with per- regiment not slain on the field. He had seen fect alacrity on their part. Their movements the Duke of Brunswick fall, the black huswere'only checked by the advance of the sars fly, the Ecossais pounded down by the British in their rear. Thus forced to halt, cannon. the enemy's cavalry (whose bloodthirsty ob- "And the -th 7" gasped Jos. stinacy can not be too severely reprehended) "Cut in pieces," said the hussar-upon had at length an opportunity of coming to which Pauline crying out, " 0 my mistress, close quarters with the brave Belgians before ma bunne petite dame," went off fairly into them; who preferred to encounter the Brit- hysterics, and filled the house with her ish rather than the French, and at once screams. turning tail rode through the English regiments that were behind them, and scattered WVild with terror, Mr. Sedley knew not in all directions. The regiment in fact did how or where to seek for safety. He rushnot exist any more. It was nowhere. It ed from the kitchen back to the sitting-room, had no head-quarters. Regulusfound himself and cast an appealing look at Amelia's door, galloping many miles from the field of action, which Mrs. O'Dowd had closed and locked entirely alone; and whither should he fly in his face; but he remembered how scornfor refuge so naturally as to that kitchen and fully the later had received him, and after those faithful arms in which Pauline had so listening for a brief space at the door, he often welcomed him? left it, and resolved to go into the street, for At some ten o'clock the clinking of a saber the first time that day. So, seizing a candle, might have been heard up the stair of the he looked about for his gold-laced cap, and house where the Osbornes occupied a story, found it lying in its usual place, on a consolein the continental fashion. A knock might table, in the ante-room, placed before a mirhave been heard at the kitchen door; and ror at which Jos used to coquet, always givpoor Pauline, come back from chuch, fainted ing his side-locks a twirl, and his cap the almost with terror as she opened it and saw proper cock over his eyes, before he went before her her haggard hussar. HIe looked forth to make appearance in public. Such as pale as the midnight dragoon who came to is the force of habit, that even in the midst disturb Leonora. Pauline would have scream- of his terror he began mechanically to twided, but that her cry would have called her dle with his hair, and arrange the cock of master, and discovered her firiend. She sti- his hat. Then he looked amazed at the pale fled her scream, then, and leading her hero face in the glass before him, and especially into the kitchen, gave him beer, and the at his mustaches, which had attained a rich choice bits from the dinner, which Jos had growth in the course of near seven weeks, not had the heart to taste. The hussar show- since they had come into the world. They ed he was no ghost by the prodigious quan- will mistake me for a military man, thought tity of flesh and beer which he devoured- he, remembering Isidor's warning, as to the and during the mouthfuls he told his tale of massacre with which all the defeated British disaster. army was threatened;, and staggering back His regiment had performed prodigies of to his bed-chamber, he began wildly pulling courage, and had withstood for a while the the bell which summoned his valet. onset of the whole French army. But they Isidor answered that summons. Jos had were overwhelmed at last, as was the whole sunk in a chair-he had torn off his neckBritish army by this time. Ney destroyed cloths, and turned down his collars, and was each regiment as it came up. The Belgians sitting with both his hands lifted to his in vain interposed to prevent the butchery of throat. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 153 "' Coupez-moi, Isidor," shouted he; " vite! Rebecca Crawley occupied apartments in Coupez-moi!" this hotel; and had before this period had "Isidor thought for a moment he had sundry hostile meetings with the ladies of gone mad, and that he wished his valet to the Bareacres family. My Lady Bareacres cut his throat. cut Mrs. Crawley on the stairs when they "Les moustaches," gasped Jos;'" les mous- met by chance; and in all places where the taches-coupy, rasy, vite!"-his French was latter's name was mentioned, spoke perseof this sort-voluable, as we have said, but veringly ill of her neighbor. The countess not remarkable for grammar. was shocked at the familiarity of General Isidor swept off the mustaches in no time Tufto with the aid-de-camp's wife. The with the razor, and heard with inexpressi- Lady Blanche avoided her as if she had been ble delight his master's orders thathe should an infectious disease. Only the earl himfetch a hat and a plain coat. " Ne porty self kept up a sly, occasional acquaintance ploo-habit militair-bonny-donny a voo, with her, when out of the jurisdiction of his prenny dehors"-were Jos's words-the coat ladies. and cap were at last his property. Rebecca had her revenge now upon these This gift being made, Jos selected a plain insolent enemies. It became known in the black coat and waistcoat fiom his stock, and hotel that Captaid Crawley's horses had put on a large white neckcloth, and a plain been left behind, a'nd, when the panic bebeaver. If he could have got a shovel-hat gan, Lady Bareacres condescended to send he would have worn it. As it was, you her maid to the captain's wife with her ladywould have fancied he was a flourishing, ship's compliments, and a desire to know large parson of the Church of England. the price of Mrs. Crawley's horses. Mrs. "Vennymaintenong,"he continued, "swee- Crawley returned a note with her complivy-ally —tarty-dong la roo." And so hav- ments, and an intimation that it was not ing said, he plunged swiftly down the stairs her custom to transact bargains with ladies' of the house, and passed into the street. maids. Although Regulus had vowed that he was This curt reply brought the earl in person the only man of his regiment or of the allied to Becky's apartment; but he could get no army, almost, who had escaped being cut to more success than the first embassador. )ieces by Ney, it appeared that his state- " Send a lady's maid to me!" Mrs. Crawment was incorrect, and that a good number ley cried in great anger: "why didn't my more of the supposed victims had survived Lady Bareacres tell me to go and saddle the massacre. Many scores of Regulus's the horses! Is it her ladyship that wants to comrades had found their way back to Brus- escape, or her ladyship'sfemme de chambre?" sels, and-all agreeing that they had run And this was all the answer that the earl away-filled the whole town with an idea of bore back to his countess. the defeat of the allies. The arrival of the What will not necessity do? The countFrench was expected hourly; the panic con- ess herself actually came to wait upon Mrs. tinued, and preparations for flight went on Crawley on the failure of her second envoy. every where. No horses! thought Jos, in She entreated her to name her own price; terror. He made Isidor inquire of scores she even offered to invite Becky to Bareof persons, whether they had any to lend or acres House, if the latter would but give her sell, and his heart sank within him, at the the means of returning to that residence. negative answers returned every where. Mrs. Crawley sneered at her. Should he take the journey on foot? Even " I don't want to be waited on by bailiffs fear could not render that ponderous body so in livery," she said; " you will never get active. back'though most probably-at least, not Almost all the hotels occupied by the you and your diamonds together. The English in Brussels face the Parc, and Jos French will have those. They will be here wandered irresolutely about in this quarter, in two hours, and I shall be half way to with crowds of other people, oppressed as Ghent by that time. I would not sell you he was by fear and curiosity. Some fami- my horses, no, not for the two largest dia. lies he saw more happy than himself, having monds that your ladyship wore at the ball." discovered a team of horses, and rattling Lady Bareacres trembled with rage and through the streets in retreat; others again terror. The diamonds were sewed into there were whose case was like his own, her habit, and secreted in my lord's padding and could not for any bribes or entreaties and boots. " Woman, the diamonds are at procure the necessary means of flight. the banker's, and I will have the horses," Among these would-be fugitives, Jos re- she said. Rebecca laughed in her face. marked the Lady Bareacres and her daugh- The infuriate countess went below, and sate ter, who sate in her carriage in the porte- in her carriage; her maid, her courier, and cochere of their hotel, all their imperials, her husband were sent once more through packed, and the only drawback to whose the town, each to look for cattle; and wo flight was the same want of motive power betide those who came last! Her ladyship which kept Jos stationary. was resolved on departing the very instant 154 VANITY FAIR. the horses arrived from any quarter-with thought for poor Amelia. What person heI husband or without him. who loved a horse-speculation could resist Rebecca had the pleasure of seeing her such a temptation? ladyship in the horseless carriage, and keep- In reply, Rebecca asked him to come into ing her eyes fixed upon her, and bewailing, her room, whither he followed her quite in the loudest tone of voice, the countess's breathless to conclude the bargain. Jos perplexities. "Not to be able to get horses!" seldom spent a half hour in his life which she said, "'and to have all those diamonds cost him so much money. Rebecca meassewed into the carriage cushions! What uring the value of the goods which she had a prize it will be for the French when they for sale by Jos's eagerness to purchase, acome! the carriage and the diamonds I well as by the scarcity of the article, put mean; not the lady!" She gave this in- upon her horses a price so prodigious as to formation to the landlord, to the servants, to nlake even tile civilian draw back. " She the guests, and the innumerable stragglers would sell both or neither," she said, resoabout the court-yard. Lady Bareacres could lutely. Rawdon had ordered her not to have shot her from the carriage-window. part with them for a price less than that It was while enjoying the humiliation of which she specified. Lord Bareacres below her enemy that Rebecca caught sight of would give her the same money-and with Jos, who made toward her directly he per- all her love and regard for the Sedley family, ceived her. her dear Mr. Joseph must conceive that That altered, frightened, fat face, told his poor people must live-nobody, in a word, secret well enough. He too wanted to fly, could be more affectionate, but more firm and was on the look-out for the means of about the matter of business. escape.'f"He shall buy my horses," thought Jos ended by agreeing, as might be supRebecca, " and I'll ride the mare." posed of him. The sum he had to give her Jos walked up to his friend, and put the was so large that he was obliged to ask for question for the hundredth time during the time; so large as to be a little fortune to past hour, "Did she know where horses Rebecca, who rapidly calculated that with were to be had?" this sum, and the sale of the residue of " What, you fly?" said Rebecca, with a Rawdon's effects, and her pension as a laugh. "I thought you were the champion widow, should he fall, she would now be of all the ladies, Mr. Sedley." absolutely independent of the world, and " I-I'm not a military man," gasped he. might look her weeds steadily in the face. "And Amelia? WVho is to protect that Once or twice in the day she certainly poor little sister of yours," asked Rebecca. had herself thought about flying. But her You surely would not desert her?" reason gave her better counsel. " Suppose "; What good can I do her, suppose-sup- the French do come," thought Becky, " what pose the enemy arrive?" Jos answered. can they do to a poor officer's widow? Bah!'They'll spare the women; but my man the times of sacks and sieges are over. We tells me that they have taken an oath to shall be let to go home quietly, or I may give no quarter to the men —the dastardly live pleasantly abroad with a snug little incowards." come." "' Horrid!" cried Rebecca, enjoying his Meanwhile Jos and Isidor went off to the perplexity. stables to inspect the newly-purchased cat" Besides, I don't want to desert her," tie. Jos bade his man saddle the horses at cried the brother. " She shan't be deserted. once. He would ride away that very night, There is a seat for her in my carriage, and that very hour. And he left the valet busy one for you, dear Mrs. Crawley, if you will in getting the horses ready, and went homecome; and if we can get horses-" sighed ward himself to prepare for his departure. he- It must be secret. He would go to his " I have two to sell," the lady said. Jos chamber by the back entrance. He did not could have flung himself into her arms at care to face Mrs. O'Dowd and Amelia, and the news. "Get the carriage, Isidor," he own to them that he was about to run. cried; " we've found them-we have found By the time Jos's bargain with Rebecca theni." was completed, and his horses had been " My horses never were in harness," visited and examined, it was almost morning added the lady. " Bulfinch would kick the once more. But though midnight was long carriage to pieces, if you put him in the passed, there was no rest for the city; the traces." people were up, the lights in the houses "But is he quiet to ride?" asked the flamed, crowds were still about the doors, civilian. and the streets were busy. Rumors of "As quiet as a lamb, and as fast as a various natures went still from mouth to hare;" answered Rebecca. mouth: one report averred that the PrusD' o you think he is up to my weight?" sians had been utterly defeated; another Jos said. He was already on his back, in that it was the English who had been at. imagination, without ever so much as a tacked and conquered; a third that the lat A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 155 ter had held their ground. This last rumor l marched out of Brussels so gallantly twentygradually got strength. No Frenchmen had four hours before, bearing the colors of the made their appearance. Stragglers had regiment, which he had defended very galcome in fr'om the army bringing reports lantly upon the field. A French lancer had more and more favorable: at last an aid-de- speared the young ensign in the leg, who camp actually reached Brussels with dis- fell, still bravely holding to his flag. At the patches for the commandant of the place, conclusion of the engagement, a place had who placarded presently through the town been found for the poor boy in a cart, and an official announcement of the success of he had been brought back to Brussels. the allies at Quatre Bras, and the entire "Mr. Sedl]ey, Mr. Sedley!" cried the b.oy repulse of the French under Ney after a six faintly, and Jos came up almost frightened hours' battle. The aid-de-camp must have at the appeal. IHe had not at first distinarrived sometime while Jos and Rebecca guished who it was that called him. were making their bargain together, or the Little Tom Stubble held out his hot and latter was inspecting his purchase. When feeble hand. " I'm to be taken in here," he he reached his own hotel, he found a score said. Osborne —and-and Dobbin said I of its numerous inhabitants on the threshold was; and you are to give the man two Nadiscoursing of the news; there was no doubt poleons: my mother will pay you." This as to its truth. And he went up to commu- young fellow's thoughts, during the long nicate, it to the ladies under his charge. He feverish hours passed in the cart, had been did not think it was necessary to tell them wandering to his father's parsonage which how he had intended to take leave of them, he had quitted only a few months before how he had bought horses, and what a price and he had sometimes forgotten his pain ii he had paid for them. that delirium. But success or defeat was a minor matter The hotel was large, and the people kind to them, who had only thought for the safety and all the inmates of the cart were takei of those they loved. Amelia, at the news in and placed on various couches. The of the victory, became still more agitated young ensign was conveyed up-stairs to Os even than before. She was for going that borne's quarters. Amelia and the major's moment to the army. She besought her wife had rushed down to him, when the:3rother with tears to conduct her thither. latter had recognized him from the balcony. Her doubts and terrors reached their parox- You may fancy the feelings of these women ysm; and the poor girl, who for many hours when they were told that the day was over, had been plunged into stupor, raved and ran and both their husbands were safe; in what hither and thither in hysteric insanity-a mute rapture Amelia fell on her good fiiend's piteous sight. No man writhing in pain on neck, and embraced her; in what a grateful the hard-fought field fifteen miles off, where passion of prayers she fell on her knees, and lay, after their struggles, so many of the thanked the Power which had saved her brave-no man suffered more keenly than husband. this poor harmless victim of the war. Jos Our young lady, in her fevered and nercould not bear the sight of her pain. He vous condition, could have had no more left his sister in the charge of her stouter salutary medicine prescribed for her by any female companion, and descended once more physician than that which chance put in her to the threshold of the hotel, where every way. She and Mrs. O'Dowd watched inbody still lingered, and talked, and waited for cessantly by the wounded lad; whose pains more news. were very severe, and in the duty thus It grew to be broad daylight as they stood forced upon her, Amelia had not time to here, and fresh news began to arrive fiom brood over her personal anxieties, or to give the war, brought by men who had been ac- herself up to her own fears and forebodings tors in the scene. Wagons and long country after her wont. The young patient told in carts laden with wounded caine rolling into his simple fashion the events of the day, and the town; gha~tly groans came from within the actions of our friends of the gallant -th. them, and haggard faces looked up sadly from They had suffered severely. They had lost out of the straw. Jos Sedley was looking at very many officers and men. The major's one of these carriages with a painful duriosity horse had been shot under him as the regi-the moansofthe people withinwere fright- ment charged, and they all thought that ful-the wearied horses could hardly pull O'Dowd was gone, and that Dobbin had got the cart. "Stop! stop!" a feeble voice cried his majority, until on their return from the from the straw, and the carriage stopped charge to their old ground, the major was opposite Mr. Sedley's hotel. discovered seated on Pyramus's carcass, re" It is George, I know it is!" cried Ame- freshing himself from a case-bottle. It was lia, rushing in a moment to the balcony, with Captain Osborne that cut down the French a pallid face and loose flowing hair. It was lancer who had speared the ensign. Amenot George, however, but it was the next lia turned so pale at the notion, that Mrs best thing: it-was news of him. O'Dowd stopped the young ensign in his It was poor Tom Stubble, who had stoxy. And it was Captain Dobbin who at 156 VANITY FAIR. the end of the day, though wounded him- ments were got ready, and tricolored banself, took up the lad in his arms and carried ners and triumphal emblems manufactured, him to the surgeon, and thence to the cart to welcome the arrival of His Majesty the which was to bring him back to Brussels. emperor and king. And it was he who promised the driver two The emigration still continued, and wherelouis if he would make his way to Mr. Sed- ever families could find means of departure, ley's hotel in the city; and tell Mrs. Captain they fled. When Jos, on the afternoon of Osborne that the action was over, and that of the 17th of June, went to Rebecca's her husband was unhurt and well. hotel, he found that the great Bareacres' "Indeed, but he has a good heart, that Will- carriage had at length rolled away friom iam Dobbin," Mrs. O'Dowd said, " though the porte-cochere. The earl. had procured he is always laughing at me.", a pair of horses somehow, in spite of Mrs. Young Stubble vowed there was not such Crawley, and was rolling on the road to another officer in the army, and never ceased Ghent. Louis the Desired, was getting his praises of the senior captain, his modesty, ready his portmanteau in that city, too. It his kindness, and his admirable coolness in seemed as if misfortune was never tired of the field. To these parts of the conversa- worrying into motion that unwieldy exile. tion, Amelia lent a very distracted attention: Jos felt that the delay of yesterday had it was only when George was spoken of that been only a respite, and that his dearly she listened, and when he was not men- bought horses must of a surety be put into tioned, she thought about him. requisition. His agonies were very severe In tending her patient, and in thinking of all this day. As long as there was an the wonderful escapes of the day before, English army between Brussels and Napoher second day passed away not too slowly leon, there was no need of immediate flight; with Amelia.,There was only one man in but he had his horses brought from their the army for her; and as long as he was well, distant stables, to the stables in the courtit must be owned that its movements inter- yard of the hotel where he lived; so that ested her little. All the reports which Jos they might be under his own eyes, and bebrought from the streets fell very vaguely yond the risk of violent. abduction. Isidor on her ears; though they were sufficient to watched the stable-door constantly, and had give that timorous gentleman, and many the horses saddled, to be ready for the start. other people then in Brussels, every dis- I-Ie longed intensely for that event. quiet. The French had been repulsed After the reception of the previous day, certainly, but it was after a severe and doubt- Rebecca did not care to come near her dear ful struggle, and with only a division of the Amelia. She clipped the bouquet which French army. The emperor, with the main George had brought her, and gave fresh body, was away at Ligny, where he had water to the flowers, and read over the utterly annihilated the Prussians, and was letter which he had sent her. "Poor now fiee to bring his whole force to bear wretch," she said, twirling round the little upon the allies. The Duke of Wellington bit of paper in her fingets, "how I could was retreating upon the capital, and a great crush her with this!-and it is for a thing battle must be fought under its walls proba- like this that she must break her heart forbly, of which the chances were more than sooth-for a man who is stupid-a coxcomb doubtful. The Duke of Wellington had but -and who does not care for her. My poor, twenty thousand British troops on whom he good Rawdon is worth ten of this creature." could rely, for the Germans were raw mili- And then she fell to thinking what she tia, the Belgians disaffected; and with this should do if-if any thing happened to poor, handful his Grace had to resist a hundred good Rawdon, and what a great piece of and fifty thousand men that had broken into luck it was that he had left his horses Belgium under Napoleon. Under Napoleon! behind. What warrior was there, however famous In the course of this day too, Mrs. Crawley, and skillful, that could fight at odds with who saw, not without anger; the Bareacres him? party drive off, bethought her of the precauJos thought of all these things, and trem- tion which the countess had taken, and did a bled. So did all the rest of Brussels- little needlework for her own advantage; where people felt that the fight of the she stitched away the major part of her day before was but the prelude of the trinkets, bills, and bank-notes about her pergreater combat which was imminent. One son, and, so prepared, was ready for any of the armies opposed to the emperor was event-to fly if she thought fit, or to stay scattered to the winds already. The few and welcome the conqueror, were he EnEnglish that could be brought to resist him glishman or Frenchman. And 1 am not would perish attheir posts, and the conquerer sure that she did not dream that night of would pass over their bodies into the city. becoming a duchess and Madalme la MareWo be to those whom he found there! chale, while Rawdon, wrapped in his cloak, Addresses were prepared, pablic functiona- and making his bivouac under the rain at ries assembled and debated secretly, apart- Mount Saint John, was thinking, with all A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 157 the force of his heart, about the little wife on; never mind what she says; wily are we whom he had left behind him. to stop here and be butchered by the FrenchThe next day was a Sunday. And Mrs. men?" Major O'Dowd had the satisfaction of seeing "You foi'get the -th, my boy," said the both her patients refreshed in health and little Stubble, the wounded hero, from his spirits by some rest which they had taken bed —" and-and you won't leave me, will during the night. She herself had slept on you, Mrs. O'Dowd?" a great chair in Amelia's ro im, ready to "No, my dear fellow," said she, going wait upon her poor fiiend or the ensign, up and kissing the boy. " No harm shall should either need her nursing. When come to you while I stand by; I don't morning came, this robust woman went budge till I get the word from Mick. A back to the, house where she and her major pretty figure I'd be, wouldn't I, stuck behind had their billet; and here performed an that chap on a pillion?" elaborate and splendid toilet, befitting the This image made the young patient to day. And it is very possible that while burst out laughing in his bed, and even made alone in that chamber, which her husband Amelia smile. " I don't ask her," Jos shouthad inhabited, and where his cap still lay on ed out —" I don't ask that-that Irishwomthe pillow, and his cane stood in the corner, an, but you, Amelia; once for all, will you one prayer at least/was sent up to Heaven come?" for the welfare of the brave soldier, Michael "Without my husband, Joseph," Amelia O'Dowd. said, with a look of wonder, and gave her When she returned she brought her hand to the major's wife. Jos's patience prayer-book with her, and her uncle the was exhausted. dean's famous book of sermons, out of which " Good by then," he said, shaking his fist she never failed to read every Sabbath; not in a rage, and slamming the door by which understanding all, haply, not pronouncing he retreated. And this time he really give many of the words aright, which were long his order for march: and mounted in the and abstruse-for the dean was a learned court-yard. Mrs. O'Dowd heard the clatterman, and loved long Latin words-but with ing hoofs of the horses as they issued from great gravity, vast emphasis, and with tolera- the gate; and looking on, made many scornble correctness in the main. How often ful remarks on poor Joseph as he rode down has my Mick listened to these sermons, the street with Isidor after him in a laced she thought, and me reading in the cabin of cap. The horses, which had not been exa calm! She proposed to resume this ex- ercised for some days, were lively, and sprang ercise on the present day, with Amelia and about the street. Jos, a clumsy and timid the wounded ensign for a congregation. The horseman, did not look to advantage in the same service was read on that day in twenty saddle. " Look at him, Amelia, dear, drivthousand churches at the same hour; and ing into the parlor window. Such a bull in millions of British men and women, on their a china-shop I never saw." And presently knees, implored protection of the Father of the pair of riders disappeared in a canter all. down the street leading in the direction of They did not hear the noise which dis- the Ghent road. Mrs. O'Dowd pursuing turbed our little congregation at Brussels. them with a fire of sarcasm so long as they Much louder than that which had inter- were in sight. rupted them two days previously, as Mrs. All that day, from moining until past sunO'Dowd was reading the service in her set, the cannon never ceased to roar. It best voice, the cannon of Waterloo began to was dark when the cannonading stopped all roar. of a sudden. When Jos heard that dreadful sound, he All of us have read ofwhatoccurred doring made up his mind that he would bear this that interval. The tale is in every Englishperpetual recurrence of terrors no longer, man's mouth; and you and I, who were and would fly at once. He rushed into the children when the great battle was won and sick man's room, where our three friends lost, are never tired of-hearing and recounthad paused in their prayers, and further ing the history of that famous action. Its interrupted them by a passionate appeal to remembrance rankles still in the bosoms of Amelia. millions of the countrymen of those brave "I can't stand it any more, Emmy," he men wlho lost the day. They pant for an said; " I won't stand it; and, you must come opportunity of revenging that humiliation; with me. I have bought a horse for you- and if a contest, ending in a victory on their never mind at what price-and you must part, should ensue, elating them in their dress and come with me, and ride behind turn, and leaving its cursed legacy of hatred Isidor." and rage behind to us, there is no end to the "God forgive me, Mr. Sedley, but you so-called glory and shame, and to the alterare no better than a coward," Mrs. O'Dowd nations of successful and unsuccessful mursaid, laying down the book. der, in which two high-spirited nations' "I say, come Amelia," the civilian went might engage. Centuries hence, we French 158 VANITY FAIR. men and Englishmen might be boasting and might have married a brewer's daughter killing each other still, carrying out bravely with a quarter of a million-like Miss Grains; the devil's code of honor. or have looked to ally himself with the best All our friends took their share and fought families in England. He would have had like men in the great field. All day long, my money some day or other; or his chilwhile the women were praying ten miles dren would-for I'm not in a hurry to go, away, the lines of the dauntless English Miss Briggs, although you may be in a hurinfantry were receiving and repelling the ry to be rid of me; and instead of that, he furious charges of the French horsemen. is a doomed pauper, with a dancing-girl for Guns which were heard at Brussels were a wife." ploughing up their ranks, and comrades " Will my dear Miss Crawley not cast an falling, and the resolute survivors closing in. eye of compassion upon the heroic soldier, Toward evening, the attack of the French, whose name is inscribed in the annals of his repeated and resisted so bravely, slackened country's glory?" said Miss Briggs, who was in its fury. They had other foes besides greatly excited by the Waterloo proceed the British to engage, or were preparing ings, and loved speaking romantically when for a final onset. It came at last; the there was an occasion. " Has not the cap columns of the imperial guard marched up tain —or the colonel as I may now style him the hill of Saint Jean, at length and at once -done deeds which make the name ot to sweep the English from the height Crawley illustrious?" which they had maintained all day, and "Briggs, you are a fool," said Miss Crawspite of all: unscared by the thunder of the ley: " Colonel Crawley has dragged the artillery, which hurled death fiomn the En- name of Crawley through the mud, Miss glish line-the dark rolling column pressed Briggs. Marry a drawing-master's daughon and up the hill. It seemed almost to ter, indeed!-marry a dame de compagnie crest the eminence, when it began to wave -for she was no better, Briggs; no, she and falter. Then it stopped, still facing the was just what you are-only younger, and a shot. Then at last the English troops great deal prettier and cleverer. Were you rushed from the post from which no enemy an accomplice of that abandoned wretch, I had been able to dislodge them, and the wonder, of whose vile arts he became a vicguard turned and fled. tim, and of whom you used to be such an No more firing was heard at Brussels- admirer? Yes, I dare say you were an the pursuit rolled miles away. The dark- accomplice. But you will find yourself dis ness came down on the field and city, and appointed in my will, I can tell you: and you Amelia was praying for George, who was will have the goodness towrite to Mr. Waxy, lying on his face, dead, with a bullet through and say that I desire to see him immxnediatehis heart. ly." Miss Crawley was now in the habit of writing to Mr. Waxy, her solicitor, almost every day in the week, for her arrangements respecting her property were all revoked, CHAPTER XXXIII. and her perplexity was great as to the fuIN WHICH MISS CRAWLEY S RELATIONS ARE ture disposition of her money. VERY ANXIOUS ABOUT HER. The spinster had, however, rallied considerably; as was proved by the increased THE kind reader must please to remem- vigor and firequency of her sarcasms upon ber —while the army is marching from Flan- Miss Briggs, all which attacks the poor comders, and, after its heroic actions there, is panion bore with meekness, with cowardice, advancing to take the fortifications on the with a resignation that was half generous, frontiers of France, previous to an occupa- and half hypocritical-with the slavish subtion of that country-that there are a num- mission, in a word, that women of her disber of persons living peaceably in England position and station are comnpelled to show. who have to do with the history at present Who has not seen how women bully womin hand, and must comne in for their share of en? What tortures have men to endure, the chronicle. During the time of these comparable to those daily-repeated shafts of battles and dangers, old AMiss Crawley was scorn and cruelty with which poor women living at Brighton, very moderately moved are riddled by the tyrants of their sex? by the, great events that were going on. Poor victims! But we are starting fi'om The great events rendered the newspapers our proposition, which is, that Miss Crawrather interesting, to be sure, and Briggs ley was always particularly annoying and read out the Gazette, in which Rawdon savage when she was rallying from illnessCraw ey's gallantry was mentioned with as they say wounds tingle most when they honor, and his promotion to be captain and are about to heal. lieutenant-colonel was presently recorded. WVhile thus approaching, as all hoped, to " What a pity that young man has taken convalescence, Miss Briggs was the only such an irretrievable step in the world," his victim admitted into the presence of the inaunt said; " with his rank and distinction he valid; yet Miss Crawley's relatives afar off A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 159 did not forget their beloved kinswoman, and whither, as Rawdon said, they had the good by a number of tokens, presents, and kind, luck to go in the track of the conquering affectionate messages, strove to keep them- army. selves alive in her recollection. To the rector's lady, who went off to tend In the first place, let us mention her her husband's broken collar-bone at the Recnephew, Rawdon Crawley. A few weeks tory at Queen's Crawley, the spinster's after the famous fight of Waterloo, and after communications were by no means so grathe Gazette had made known to her the pro- cious. Mrs. Bute, that brisk, managing, motion and gallantry' of that distinguished lively, imperious woman, had committed the officer, the Dieppe packet brought over to most fatal of all errors with regard to her Miss Crawley, at Brighton, a box contain- sister-in-law. She had not merely oppressing presents, and a dutiful letter from the ed her and her household-she had bored colonel her nephew. In the box were a Miss Crawley; and if poor Miss Briggs had pair of French epaulets, a cross of the Le- been a woman of any spirit, she might have gion of Honor, and the hilt of a sword-rel- been made happy by the commission which ics from the field of battle: and the letter her principal gave her, to write a letter to described, with a good deal of humor, how Mrs. Bute Crawley, saying that Miss Crawthe latter belonged to a commanding-officer ley's health was greatly improved since Mrs of the guard, who having sworn that "the Bute had left her, and begging the latter on guard died, but never surrendered," was no account to put herself to trouble, or quit taken prisoner the next minute by a private her family for Miss Crawley's sake. This soldier, who broke the Frenchman's sword triumph over a lady who had been very with the butt of his musket, when Rawdon haughty and cruel in her behavior to Miss made himself master of the shattered wea- Briggs, would have rejoiced most women: pon. As for the cross and epaulets, they but the truth is, Briggs was a woman of ne came from a colonel of French cavalry, who spirit at all, and the moment her enemy was had fallen under the aid-de-camp's arm in discomfited she began to feel compassion in battle: and Rawdon Crawley did not know her favor. what better to do with the spoils than to send "How silly I was," Mrs. Bute thought, them to his kindest and most affectionate old and with reason, "ever to hint that I was friend. Should he continue to write to her coming, as I did, in that foolish letter when from Paris, whither the army was march- we sent Miss Crawley the guinea-fowls. 1 ing? He might be able to give her interest- ought to have gone without a wvord to the ing news from that capital, and of some of poor, dear, doting, old creature, and taken Miss Crawley's old friends of the ernigra- her out of the hands of that ninny Briggs. tion, to whom she had shown so mlnch kind- and that harpy of a femme de chambre. Oh ness during their distress. Bute, Bute. why did you break your collar The spinster caused Briggs to write back bone?" "o the colonel a gracious and complimentary Why, indeed? \Ve have seen how Mrs.'etter, encouraging him to continue his cor- Bute, having the game in her hands, had respondence. His first letter was so excess- really played her cards too well. She had (vely lively and amusing, that she should ruled over Miss Crawley's household utterlook with pleasure for its successors. "Of ly and completely, to be utterly' and comcourse' know," she explained to Miss pletely routed when a favorable opportunity Briggs, " that Rawdon could not write such for rebellion came. She and her household, a good letter any more than you could, my however, considered that she had been the poor Briggs, and that it is that clever little victim of horrible selfishness; and treason, wretch of a Rebecca, who dictates every and that her sacrifices in Miss Crawley's word-to him; but that is no reason why my behalf had met with the most savage ingratinephew should not amuse me; and so I tude. Rawdon's promotion, and the honorwish to let him understand that I am in high able mention made of his name in the Gagood-humor." zette, filled this good Christian lady also with I wonder whether she knew that it was alarm. Would his aunt relent toward him not only Becky who wrote the letters, but now that he was a colonel and a C.B.? and that Mrs.:Rawdon actually took and sent would that odious Rebecca once more get home the trophies-which she bought for a into favor? The rector's wife wrote a serfew friancs, from one of the innumerable mon for her husband about the vanity of peddlers, who immediately began to deal in military glory and the prosperity of the relics of the war. The novelist, who knows wicked, which the worthy parson read in every thing, knows this also. Be this; how- his best voice and without understanding one ever, as it may, Miss Crawley's gracious re- syllable of it. He had Pitt Crawley for one ply greatly encouraged our young friends, of his auditors-Pitt, who had come with Rawdon and his lady, who hoped for the his two half-sisters, to church, which the old best from their aunt's evidently pacified hu- baronet could now by no means be brought mor: and they took care to entertain her to frequent. with many delightful letters from Paris, Since the departure of Becky Sharp, that 160 VANITY FAIR. old wretch had given himself up entirely to bound by ties o{t present and future relation~ his bad courses, to the great scandal of the ship to the house of Crawley. Respecting county and the mute horror of his son. The the chief of the Southdown family, Clement ribbons in Miss Horrock's cap became more William, fourth Earl of Southdown, little sp endid than ever. The polite families fled need be told, except that his lordship camne the hall and its owner in terror. Sir Pitt into Parliament (as Lord Wolsey), under went about tippling at his tenants' houses; the auspices cf Mr. Wilberforce, and for a.and drank rum-and-water with the farmers time was a credit to his political sponsor, at Mfidbury and the neighboring places on and decidedly a serious young Iran. But market-days. He drove the family coach- words can not describe the feelings of his and-four to Southampton with Miss Hor- admirable mother, when she learned, very rocks inside: and the county people expect- shortly after her noble husband's demise, ed, every week, as his son did in speechless that her son was a member of several worldagony, that his marriage with her would be ly clubs, had lost largely at play at Wattiers announced in the provincial paper. It was and the Cocoa Tree, that he had raised indeed a rude burthen for Mr. Crawley to money on post obits, and encumbered the bear. His eloquence was palsied at the family estate; that he drove four-in-hand, missionary meetings, and other religious as- and patronized the ring; and that he actualsemblies in the neighborhood, where he had ]y had an opera-box, where he entertained been in the habit of presiding, and of speak- the most dangerous bachelor company. His ing for hours; for he felt, when he rose, name was only mentioned with groans in the that the audience said, " That is the son of dowager's circle. the old reprobate Sir Pitt, who is very like- The Lady Emily was her brother's senior ly drinking at the public-house at this very by many years; and took considerable rank moment." And once when he was speak- in the serious world as author of some of ing of the benighted condition of the king of the delightful tracts before mentioned, and Timbuctoo, and the number of his wives of, many hymns and spiritual pieces. A who were likewise in darkness, some tipsy mature spinster, and having given up all miscreant fiom the crowd asked, "How ideas of marriage, her love for the blacks many is there at Queen's Crawley, Young occupied almost all her feelings. It is Squaretoes?" to the surprise of the plat- to her, I beliyve. we owe that beautiful form, and the ruin of Mr. Pitt's speech. poem,And the two daughters of the house of "Lead us to some sunny isle, Queen's Crawley would have been allowed Yoider in the western deep; to run utterly wild (for Sir Pitt swore that Where the skies forever smile, no governess should ever enter into his doors And the blacks forever weep, again), had not Mr. Crawley, by threatening She had correspondences with clerical the old gentleman, forced the latter to send gentlemen in most of our East and West them to school. India possessions; and report says was once Meanwhile, as we have said, whatever in- attached to the Reverend Silas Hornblower, dividual differences there might be between who was tattooed in the South Sea Isthem all, Miss Crawley's dear iephews aud, lands. nieces were unanimous in loving her and As for the Lady Jane, on whom, as it has sending her tokens of affection. Thus Mrs. been said, Mr. Pitt Crawley's affection had Bute sent guinea-fowls, and some remarka- been placed, she was gentle, blushing, silent, bly fine cauliflowers, and a pretty purse or and timid. Inf spite of his falling away, she pincushion worked by her darling girls, who wept for her brother, and was quite ashamed begged to keep a little place in the recollec- of loving him still. Even yet she used to tion of their dear aunt, while Mr. Pitt sent send him little hurried smuggled notes, and peaches and grapes and venison from the pop them in the post in private. The one hall. The Southampton coach used to carry dreadful secret which weighed upon her life these tokens of affection to Miss Crawley at was, that she and the old housekeeper had Brighton: it used sornetimes to convey Mr. been to pay Southdown a furtive visit at his Pitt thither too: for his differences with chambers in the Albany; and found him-O Sir Pitt caused Mr. Crawley to absent him- the naughty dear abandoned wretch! smokself a good deal from home now: and be- ing a cigar with a bottle of cura~oa before sides, he had an attraction at Brighton in him. She admired her sister, she adored the person of the Lady Jane Sheepshanks her mother, she thought Mr. Crawley the whose engagement to Mr. Crawley has most delightful and accomplished of men, been formerly mentioned in this history. after Southdowvn, that fallen angel: and her Her ladyship and her sisters lived at Brighton mamma and sister, who were ladies of the with their mamma, the Countess South- imost superior sort, managed every thing for down, that strong-minded woman so favora- her, and regarded her with that amiable pity, bly known in the serious world. of which your really superior woman always A few words ought to be said regarding has such a share to give away. Her mamher ladyship and her n )ble family, who are I ma ordered her dresses, her books, her bon A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 161 nets, and her ideas for her. She was mnade friendship, with perhaps an improper pride, to take pony-riding, or piano-exercise, or any he thought now that every becoming means:other sort of bodily medicament, according should be taken, both to save her soul from as my Lady Southdown saw meet; and her perdition, and to secure her fortune to himladyship would have kept her daughter in self as the head of the house of Crawley. pinafores up to her present age of six-and- The strong-minded Lady Southdown quite twenty, but that they were thrown off when agreed in both proposals of her son-in-law, Lady Jane was presented to Queen Char- and was for converting Miss Crawley off lotte. hand. At her own home, both at Southdown When these ladies first came to their and at Trottermore Castle, this tall and awhouse at Brighton, it was to them alone ful missionary of the truth rode about the that Mr. Crawley paid his personal visits, country in her barouche with outriders, contenting himself by leaving a card at his lanched packets of tracts among the cotaunt's house, and making a modest inquiry tagers and tenants, and would order Gaffer of Mr,. Bowls or his assistant footman, with Jones to be converted, as she would order respect to the health of the invalid. When Goody Hicks to take a James's powder, withhe met Miss Briggs coming home from the out appeal, resistance, or benefit of clergy. library with a cargo of novels under her arm, My Lord Southdown, her late husbarid, an Mr. Crawley blushed in a manner quite un- epileptic and simple-minded nobleman, was usual to him, as he stepped forward and in the habitof approving of every thing which shook Miss Crawley's companion by the his Matilda did and thought. So that whathand. He introduced Miss Briggs to the ever changes her own belief might undergo lady with whom he happened to be walking, (and it accommodated itself to a prodigious the Lady Jane Sheepshanks, saying, "Lady variety of opinion, taken firom all sorts of Jane, permit me to introduce to you my doctors among the dissenters) she had not aunt's kindest friend and most affectionate the least scruple in ordering all her tenants companion, Mliss Briggs, whom you know and inferiors to follow and believe after her. under another title, as authoress of the de- Thus whether she received the Reverend lightful'Lyrics of the Heart,' of which you Saunders McNitre the Scotch divine; or are so fond." Lady Jane blushed too as she the Reverend Luke Waters the mild Wesheld out a kind little hand to Miss Briggs, leyan; or the Reverend Giles Jowls the and said something very civil and incoherent illuminated cobbler, who dubbed himself about mamma, and proposing to call on Miss reverend as Napoleon crowned himself emCrawley. and being glad to be made knowri peror-the household, children, tenantry of to the friends and relatives of Mr. Crawley; my Lady Southdown were expected to go and with soft dove-like eyes saluted Miss down on their knees with her ladyship, and Briggs as they separated, while Pitt Craw- say Amen to the prayers of either doctor. ley treat, d her to a profound courtly bow, During these exercises old Southdown, on such as he had used to the Grand Duchess account of his invalid condition, was allowed of Pumpernickel, when he was attache at to sit in his own room, and have negus and that court. the paper read to him. Lady Jane was the The artful diplomatist and disciple of the old earl's favorite daughter, and tended him Machiavellian Binkie! It was he wLo had and loved him sincerely: as for Lady Emily, given Lady Jane that copy of poor Briggs's rhe authoress of the "Washerwoman of early poems, which he remembered to have Finchley Common," her denunciation of seen at Queen's Crawley, with a dedication future punishments (at this period, for her from the poetess to his father's late wife; opinions modified afterwards) were so awful and he brought the volume with him to that they used to frighten the timid old Brighton, reading it in the Southampton gentleman her father, and the physicians coach, and marking it with' his own pencil, declared his fits always occurred after one of before he presented it to the gentle Lady her ladyship's sermons. Jane. "I will certainly call," said Lady SouthIt was he, too, who laid before Lady down, then, in reply to the exhortation of Southdown the great advantages which her daughter's prgtendu. Mr. Pitt Crawmight occur from an intimacy between her ley - "Who is Miss Crawley's medical family and Miss Crawley-advantages both man?" worldly and spiritual, he said: for Miss Mr. Crawley mentioned the name of Mr. Crawley was now quite alone; the mon- Creamer. strous dissipation and alliance of his brother "A most dangerous and ignorant practiRawdon, had estranged her affections firom tioner, my dear Pitt. I have providentiallythat reprobate young man; the greedy tyr- been the means of removing him fiom sevanny and avarice of Mrs. Bute Crawley had eral houses: though in one or two instances. caused the old lady to revolt against the I did not arrive in time. I could not save exorbitant pretensions of that part of the poor dear General Glanders, who was dying. family; and though he himself had held off under the hands of that ignorant man-dying. all his life firom cultivating Miss Crawley's He rallied a little under the Podger's pills L 162. VANITY FAIR. which I administered to him; but alas! it of that unfortunate lady. You will only was too late. His death was delightful, firighten and annoy her. She will very likely however; and his change was only for the fling the books away, and refuse all acquaintbetter: Creamer, my dear Pitt, must leave ance with the givers." your aunt." "You are as worldly as Miss Crawley, Pitt expressed his perfect acquiescence. Pitt," said Lady Emily, tossing out of the He too had been carried along by the energy room, her books in her hand. of his noble kinswoman, and future mother- "And I need not tell you, my dear Lady in-law. He had been made to accept Saun- Southdown," Pitt continued, in a low voice, ders McNitre, Luke Waters, Giles Jowls, and without heeding the interruption, "how Podger's Pills, Rodger's Pills, Pokey's Elix- fatal a little want of gentleness and caution ir, every one of her ladyship's remedies may be to any hopes which we may enterspiritual ortemporal. He never left her house tain with regard to the worldly possessions without carrying respectfully away with him of my aunt. Remember she has seventy piles of her quack theology and medicine. thousand pounds; think of her age, and her O my dear brethren and fellow sojourners in highly nervous and delicate condition: I Vanity Fair, which among you does not know that she has destroyed the will which know and suffer under such benevolent des-was made in my brother's (Colonel Crawpots? It is in vain you say to them, " Dear ley's) favor: it is by soothing that wounded madam, I took Podger's specific at your spirit that we must lead itinto the right path, orders last year, and believe in it. Why, and not by frightening it; and so I think you why, am I to recant and accept the Rodger's will agree with me that-that-" articles now?" There is no help for it; "'Of course, of course," Lady Southdown the faithful proselytizer, if she can not con- remarked. " Jane, mly love, you need not vince by argument, bursts into tears, and the send that note to Mr. Irons. If her health recusant finds himself, at the end of the is such that discussions fatigue her, we will contest, taking down the bolus, and saying, wait her amendment. I will call upon Miss "Well, well, Rodger's be it." Crawley to-morrow." " And as for her spiritual state," continued "And if I might suggest, my sweet lady," the lady "that of course must be looked to Pitt said in a bland tone, "it would be as immediately; with Creamer about her, she well not to take our precious Emily, who is may go off any day: and in what a condition, too enthusiastic; but rather that you should my dear Pitt, in what a dreadful condition! be accompanied by our sweet and dear Lady I will send the Reverend Mr. Irons to her Jane." instantly. Jane, write a line to the Rever- -" Most certainly, Emily would ruin every end Bartholomew Irons, in the third person, thing," Lady Southdown said; and this time and say that I desire the pleasure of his agreed to forego her usual practice, which company this evening at tea at half-past six. was, as we have said, before she bore down He is an awakening man; he ought to see personally upon any individual whom she Miss Crawley before she rests this night. proposed to subjugate, to fire in a quantity And Emily, my love, get ready a packet of of tracts upon the menaced party; (as a books for Miss Crawley. Put up'A voice charge of the French was always preceded from the Flames,''A Trumpet-warning to by a furious cannonade). Lady Southdown, Jericho,' and the' Flesh-pots Broken; or, we say, for the sake of the invalid's health, the Converted Cannibal.'" or for the sake of her soul's ultimate wel"' And the'Washerwoman of Finchley fare, or for the sake of her money, agreed to Common,' mamma," said Lady Emily. "It temporize. is as well to begin soothingly at first." The next day the great Southdown female "Stop, my dear ladies," said Pitt the family carriage, with the earl's coronet and diplomatist. "With every deference to the the lozenge (upon which the three lambs opinion of my beloved and respected Lady trottant argent upon the field vert of the Southdown, I think it would be quite unad- Southdowns, were quartered with sable on visable to commence so early upon serious a bend or, three snuff-mulls gules, the cogtopics with Miss Crawley. Remember her nizance of the house of Binkie), drove up in delicate condition, and how little, how very state to Miss Crawley's door, and the tall, little accustomed she has hitherto been to serious footman handed in to Mr. Bowls her considerations connected with her immortal ladyship's cards for Miss Crawley, and one welfare." likewise for Miss Briggs. By way of com"Can we then begin too early, Pitt?" promise, Lady Emily sent in a packet in said Lady Emily, rising with six little books the evening for the latter lady, containing already in her hand. copies of the "Washerwoman," and other " If you begin abruptly, you will frighten mild and favorite tracts for Miss B.'s own her altogether. I know my aunt's worldly perusal; and a few for the servants' hall, nature so well as to be sure that any abrupt viz.: "Crumbs fiom the Pantry;" "The attempt at conversion will be the very worst Frying Pan and the Fire," and "The means that can be employed for the welfare Livery of Sin," of a much stronger kind A NOVEL W'ITHOUT A HERO. 163 CHAPTER XXXIV. a statesman whom, however much he might differ with him, it was impossible not to adJAMES CRAWLEY'S PIPE IS PUT OUT. mire fervently-a statesman who had always had the highest opinion of the Emperor Na THE amiable behavior of Mr. Crawley poleon. And he spoke in terms of the and Lady Jane's kind reception of he'r strongest indignation of the faithless conduct highly flattered Miss Briggs, who was en- of the allies toward this dethroned monarch,, abled to speak a good word for the latter, who, after giving himself generously up to after the cards of the Southdown family their mercy, was consigned to an ignoble had been presented to Miss Crawley. A and cruel banishment, while a bigoted Popish countess's card left personally too for her, rabble was tyrannizing over France in his Briggs, was not a little pleasing to the poor stead. firiendless companion. "What could Lady This orthodox horror of Romish super Southdown mean by leaving a card upon stition saved Pitt Crawley in Lady Southyou, I wonder, Miss Briggs?" said the re- down's opinion, whilst his admiration for publican Miss Crawley; upon which the Fox and Napoleon raised him immeasurably companion meekly said "that she hoped in Miss Crawley's eyes. Her friendship there could be no harm in a lady of rank with that defunct British statesman was taking notice of a poor gentlewoman," and mentioned when we first introduced her in she put away this card in her work-box this history. A true Whig, Miss Crawley among her most cherished personal treas- had been in opposition all through the war, ures.'Furthermore, Miss Briggs explained and though, to be sure, the downfall of the how she had met Mr. Crawley walking with emperor did not very much agitate the old his cousin and long-affianced bride the day lady, or his ill-treatment tend to shorten her before: and she told how kind and gentle- life or natural rest, yet Pitt spoke to her looking the lady was, and what a plain, not heart when he lauded both her idols; and to say common, dress she had, all the arti- by that single speech made immense procles of which, from the bonnet down to gress in her favor. the boots, she described and estimated with'"And what do you think, my dear?" female accuracy. Miss Crawley said to the young lady, for Miss Crawley allowed Briggs to prattle whom she had taken a liking at first sight, on without interrupting her too much. As as she always did for pretty and modest she got well, she was pining for society. young people; though it must be owned Mr. Creamer, her medical man, would not her affections cooled as rapidly as they rose. hear of her returning to her old haunts and Lady Jane blushed very much, and said dissipation in London. The old spinster " that she did not understand politics, which was too glad to find any companionship at she left to wiser heads than hers; but though Brighton, and not only were the cards ac- mamma was, no doubt, correct, Mr. Crawley knowledged the very next day, but Pitt had spoken beautifully." And when the Crawley was graciously invited to come and ladies were retiring at the conclusion of see his aunt. He came, bringing with him their visit, Miss Crawley hoped "' Lady Lady Southdown and her daughter. The Southdown would be so kind as to send her dowager did not say a word about the state Lady Jane sometimes, if she could be spared, of Miss'Crawley's soul; but talked with to come down and console a poor sick, lonely, much discretion about the weather: about old woman." This promise was graciously the war and the downfall of the monster accorded, and they separated upon great Bonaparte: and above all, about doctors, terms of amity.. quacks, and the particular merits of Dr. " Don't let Lady Southdown come again, Podgers, whom she then patronized. Pitt," said the old lady. " She is stupid and During their interview Pitt Crawley made pompous like all your mother's family, whom a great stroke, and one which showed that, I never could endure. But bring that nice, had his diplomatic career not been blighted good-natured little Lady Jane as often as by early neglect. he might have risen to a ever you please." Pitt promised that he high rank in his profession. When the would do so. He did not tell the Countess Countess Dowager of Southdown fell foul of Southdown what opinion his aunt had of the Corsican upstart, as the fashion was formed of her ladyship, who, on the conin those days, and showed that he was trary, thought that she had made a most a monster stained with every conceivable delightful and majestic impression on Miss -crime, a coward and a tyrant not fit to live, Crawley. one whose fall was predicted, &c., Pitt And so, nothing loth to comfort a sick lady, Crawley suddenly took up the cudgels in and perhaps not sorry in her heart to be favor of the man of destiny. He described freed now and again fromn the dreary spoutthe first consul as he saw him at Paris at ing of the Reverend Bartholomew Irons, and the Peace of Amiens; when he Pitt Craw- the serious toadies who gathered round the ley, had' the gratification of making the ac- footstool of the pompous countess, her mamquaintanet6 of the great and good Mr. Fox, ma, Lady Jane became a pretty constant 164 VANITY IFAIR. visitor to Miss Crawley, accompanied her in quitted the room, and the door was quite her drives, and solaced many of her evenings. shut, she saidShe was so naturally good and soft, that even "Miss Crawley, I can play a little. I used Firkin was not jealous of her; and the gen- t — to play a little with poor, dear papa." tie Briggs thought her friend was less cruel "Come and kiss me. Come and kiss me to her, when kind Lady Jane was by. To- -his instant, you dear, good, little soul," cried ward her ladyship Miss Crawley's manners Miss Crawley, in an ecstacy; and in this were charming. The old spinster told her picturesque and fiiendly occupation Mr. a thousand anecdotes about her youth, talk- Pitt found the old lady and the young one, ing to her in a very different strain from when he came up-stairs with his pamphlet that in which she had been accustomed to in his hand. How she did blush all the converse with the godless little Rebecca; for evening, that poor Lady Jane! there was that in Lady Jane's innocence which rendered light talking impertinence It must not be imagined that Mr. Pitt before her, and Miss Crawley was too much Crawley's artifices escaped the attention of of a gentlewoman to offend such purity. his dear relations at the rectory at Queen's The young lady herself had never received Crawley. Hampshire and Sussex lie very kindness except fiorno this old spinster, and close together, and Mrs. Bute had friiends in her brother and father: and she repaid the latter county who took care to inform MIiss Crawley's engouiment by artless sweet- her of all, and a great deal more than all, ness and friendship. that passed at Miss Crawley's house at In the autumn evenings (when Rebecca Brighton. Pitt was there more and more. was flaunting at Paris, the gayest among the He did not come for months together to the gay conquerors there, and our Amelia, our Hall, where his abominable old father abandear, wounded Amelia, ah! where was doned himself completely to rum and water, she?) Lady Jane would be sitting in Miss and the odious society of the Horrocks Crawley's drawing-room, singing sweetly to family. Pitt's success rendered the rector's her, in the twilight, her little simple songs family furious, and Mrs. Bute regretted and hymns, while the sun was setting, and more (though she confessed less) than ever the sea was roaring on the beach. The old her monstrous fault in so insulting Miss spinster used to wake up when these ditties Briggs, and in being so haughty and parsiceased, and ask for more. As for Briggs, monious to Bowls and Firkin, that she had and the quantity of tears of happiness which not a single person left in Miss Crawley's she now shed as she pretended to knit, and household to give her information of what looked out at the splendid ocean darkling took place there. "It was all Bute's collarbefore the windows, and the lamps of heaven bone," she persisted in saying; "if that had beginning more brightly to shine-who, I not broke, I never would have left her. I say, can measure the happiness and sensi- am a martyr to duty, and to your odious, bility of Briggs? unclerical habit of hunting, Bute." Pitt, meanwhile, in the dining-room, with "Hunting; nonsense! It was you that a pamphlet on the Corn Laws, or a Mis- frightened her, Barbara," the divine intersionary Register by his side, took that kind posed. "You're a clever woman, but you've of recreation which suits romantic and unro- got a devil of a temper; and you're a screw -mantic men after dinner. He sipped Ma- with your money, Barbara." deira: built castles in the air: thought him- "You'd have been screwed in jail, Bute, self a fine fellow: felt himself much more if I had not kept your money." in love with Jane than he had been any " I know I would, my dear," said the rec, time these seven years, duing which their tor, good-naturedly. 1"You are a clevei liaison had lasted without the slightest im- woman, but you manage too well, you patience on Pitt's part-and slept a good know;" and the pious man consoled himself deal. When the time for coffee came, Mr. with a big glass of port. Bowls used to enter in a noisy manner, and "What the deuce can she find in that summon Squire Pitt, who would be found spoony of a Pitt Crawley?" he continued. in the dark very busy with his pamphlet. "The fellow has not pluck enough to say Bo "I wish, my love, I could get somebody to a goose. I remember when Rawdon, to play piquet with me," Miss Crawley who is a man and be hanged to him, used to said, one night, when this functionary made flog him round the stables as if he was a his appearance with the candles and the whipping-top; and Pitt would go howling coffee. "Poor Briggs can no more play home to his ma-ha, ha! Why, either -of than an owl, she is so stupid " (the spinster niy boys would wap him with one haind. Jim always took an opportunity of abusing Briggs says he's remembered at Oxford as Miss before the servants); "and I think I should Crawley still-the spooney." sleep better if I had my game." "I say, Barbara," his reverence c:ontinued. At this Lady Jane blushed to the tips of after a pause. Xher little ears, and down to the ends of her "What?" said Barbara, who x Vas biting pr1etty fingers; and when Mr. Bowls had her nails, and drubbing the table A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 165 b l say, why not send Jim ove' to Brigh- produces intolerable sensations of terror in ton to see if he can do any thing with the them; when the great hands and ankles old lady. He's very near getting his degree, protrude a long way from garrents which you know. He's only been plucked twice have grown too tight for them; when their -so was I-but he's had the advantages of presence after dinner is at once frightful to Oxford and a university education. He the ladies, who are whispering in the twi knows some of the best chaps there. He light in the drawing-room, and inexpressibly pulls stroke in the Boniface boat. He's a odious to the gentlemen over the mahogany, handsome feller. D- it, ma'am, let's put who are restrained from freedom of interhim on the old woman, hey; and tell him course and delightful interchange of wit by to thrash Pitt if he says any thing. Ha, ha, the presence of that gawky innocence; ha!" when, at the conclusion of the second glass, "Jim mightgo down and see her, certain- papas say, "' Jack, my boy, go out and see ly," the housewife said; adding, with a sigh, if the evening holds up," and the youth, "If we could but get one of the girls into willing to be free, yet hurt at not being yet the house; but -she could never endure a man, quits the incomplete banquet. James, them, because they are not pretty!" Those then a hobbadehoy, was now become a young unfortunate and well-educated women made man, having had the benefits of a university themselves heard from the neighboring education, and acquired the inestimable poldrawing-roorm, where they were thrumming ish, which is gained by living in a fast set at away, with hard fingers, an elaborate music- a small college, and c6ntracting debts, and piece on the piano-forte, as their mother being rusticated, and being plucked. spoke; and, indeed, they were at music, or tIe was a handsome lad, however, when at backboard, or at geography, or at history, he came to present himself to his aunt at the whole day long. But what avail all these Brighton, and good looks were always a title accomplishments, in Vanity Fair, to girls who to the fickle old lady's favor. Nor did his are short, poor, plain, and have a bad com- blushes and awkwardness take away from it; plexion? Mrs. Bute could think of nobody she was pleased with these healthy tokens but the curate to take one of them off her of the young gentleman's ingenuousness. hands; and Jim coming in from the stable He said "he had come down for a couple at this minute, through the parlor-window, of days to see a man of his college, andwith a short pipe stuck in his oil-skin cap, and to pay my respects to you, ma'am, and he and his father fell to talking about odds on my father's and mother's, who hope you are the St. Leger, and the colloquy between the well." rector and his wife ended. Pitt was in the room with Miss Crawley Mrs. Bute did not argue much good to the when the lad was announced, and looked cause from the sending her son James as an very blank when his name was mentioned. embassador, and saw him depart i-n rather a The old lady had plenty of humor, and endespairing mood. Nor did the young fellow joyed her correct nephew's perplexity. She himself, when told what his mission was to asked after all the people at the Rectory be, expect much pleasure or benefit from it, with great interest; and said she was thinkbut he was consoled by the thought that:ing of paying them a visit. She praised the possibly the old lady would give him some lad to his face, and said he was well-grown handsome remembrance of her, which would and very much improved, and that it was a pay a few of his most pressing bills at the pity his sisters had not some of his good commencement of the ensuing Oxford term, looks; and finding, on inquiry, that he had and so took his place by the coach from taken up his quarters at an hotel, would not Southampton, and was safely landed at hear of his stopping there, but bade Mr Brighton on the same evening, with his Bowls send for Mr. James Crawley's things portmanteau, his favorite bull-dog Towzer, instantly; "and hark ye, Bowls," she addand an immense basket of farm and garden ed, with great graciousness, "you will have produce, from the dear Rectory folks to the the goodness to pay Mr. James's bill." dear Miss Crawley. Considering it was too She flung Pitt a look of arch triumph, late to disturb the invalid lady on the first which caused the diplomatist almost to choke night of his arrival, he put up at an inn, and with envy. Much as he had ingratiated did not wait upon Miss Crawley until a late himself with his aunt, she had never yet hour in the noon of next day. invited him to stay under her roof, and here James Crawley, when his aunt had last was a young whipper-snapper, who at first beheld him, was a gawky lad, at that uncom- sight was made welcome there. fortable age when the voice varies between "I beg your pardon, sir," says Bowls, an unearthly treble and a preternatural advancing with a profound bow; "what bass; whien the face not uncommonly blooms otel sir, shall Thomas fetch the luggage out with appearances for which Rowland's from?" Kalydor is said to act as a cure; when boys "'4, dam," said young James, starting up, are seen to shave furtively with their sisters' as if in some alarml, "I'll go." scissors, and the sight of other young women "What!" said Miss Harwley. 166 VANITY FAIR. 1" The Tom Crib's Arms," said James, in the carriage as he sate. This incident blushing deeply. damped the ingenuous youth's spirits, and Miss Crawley burst out laughing at this no word of yea or nay could he be induced title. Mr. Bowls gave one abrupt guffaw, to utter during the rest of the drive. as a confidential servant of the family, but On his return he found his room prepared, choked the rest of the volley; the diploma- and his portmanteau ready, and might have tist only smiled. remarked that Mr. Bowls's countenance, " I-I didn't know any better," said James, when the latter conducted him to his apart looking down. "I've never been here be- ment, wore a look of gravity, wonder, and fore; it was the coachman told me." The compassion. But the thought of Mr. Bowls young story-teller! The fact is, that on the did not enter his head. He was deploring Southampton coach, the day previous, James the dreadful predicament in which he found Crawley had met the Tutbury Pet, who himself, in a house of full old women, jabwas'coming to Brighton to make a match bering French and Italian, and talking poetry with the Rottingdean Fibber; and enchanted to him. "Reglarly up a tree by jingo!" exby the Pet's conversation, had passed the claimed the modest boy, who could not face evening in company with that scientific man the gentlest of her sex-not even Briggsand his friends, at the inn in question. when she began to talk to him; whereas, "I-I'd best go and settle the score," put him at Iffley Lock, and he could outJames continued. " Couldn't think of ask- slang the boldest bargeman. ing you ma'am," he added, generously. At dinner, James appeared choking in a This delicacy made his aunt laugh the white neckcloth, and had the honor ofhandmore. ing my Lady Jane down stairs, while Briggs " Go and settle the bill, Bowls," she said, and Mr. Crawley followed afterwards, conwith a wave of her hand, "and bring it to ducting the old lady, with her apparatus of me." bundles, and shawls, and cushions. Half of Poor lady, she did not know what she Brigg's. time at dinner was spent in superinhad done! "There-there's a little dawg," tending the invalid's comfort, and in cutting said James, looking frightfully guilty. " I'd up chicken for her fat spaniel. James did best go for him. He bites footmen's calves." not talk much, but he made a point of asking All the party cried out with laughing at all the ladies to drink wine, and accepted this description; even Briggs and Lady Jane, Mr. Crawley's challenge, and consumed the who was sitting'mute during the interview greater part of a bottle of champagne which between Miss Crawley and her nephew; Mr. Bowls was ordered to produce in his and Bowls, without a word, quitted the honor. The ladies having withdrawn, and room. the two cousins being left together, Pitt, Still, by way of punishing her elder the ex-diplomatist, became very communinephew, Miss Crawley persisted in being cative and fiiendly. He asked after James's gracious -to the young Oxonian. There were career at college-what his prospects in life no limits to her kindness or her compliments were-hoped heartily he would get on; and, when they once began. She told Pitt he in a word, was frank and amiable. James's might come to dinner, and insisted that tongue was unloosed with the Port, and he James should accompany her in her drive, told his cousin his life, his prospects, his and paraded him solemnly up and down the debts, his troubles at the little-go, and his cliff, on the back seat of the barouche. Dau- rows with the proctors, filling rapidly from ring all this excursion, she condescended to the bottles before him, and flying from Port say civil things to him: she quoted Italian and to Madeira with joyous activity. French poetry to the poor bewildered lad, "The chief pleasure which my aunt has," and:!persisted that he was a fine scholar, and said Mr. Crawley, filling his glass, " is that was perfectly sure he would gain a gold people should do as they, like in her house. medal and be a Senior Wrangler. This is Liberty Hall, James, and you can't " Haw, haw," laughed James, encouraged do Miss Crawley a greater kindness than to by these compliments; " Senior Wrangler, do as you please. and ask for what you indeed; that's at the other shop." will. I know you have all sneered at me in "What is tile other shop, my dear child?" the country for being a Tory. Miss Crawsaid the lady. ley is liberal enough to suit any fancy. She.';Senior Wranglers at Cambridge, not Ox- is a republican in principle, and despises ford," said the scholar, with a knowing air; every thing like rank or title." and would probably have been more confi- "Why are you going to marry an earl's dential, but that suddenly there appeared daughter?" said James. on the cliff in a tax-cart, drawn by a bang- " My dear friend, remerhber it is not poor up pony, dressed.in white flannel coats, Lady Jane's fault that she is well born," with mother-of-pearl buttons, his friends the Pitt replied with a courtly air. " She can Tutbury Pet and the Rottingdean Fibber, not help being a lady. Besides, I am a Tory with three other gentlemen of their ac- you know." quaintance, who all saluted poor James there " O as for thalt," said Jim, " there's nothing A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 167 like old blood; no, tamme, nothing like it. ful of wine with an immense flourish of his I'm none of your radicals. 1 know what it glass. is to be a gentleman, danmme. See the At the Rectory, when the bottle of port chaps in a boat-race; look at the fellers in a wine was opened after dinner, the young fight; aye, look at, a dawg killing rats- ladies had each a glass from a bottle of curwhich is it wins? the good blooded ones. rant wine. Mrs. Bute took one glass of port, Get some more port, Bowls, old boy, whilst honest James had a couple commonly, but as I buzz this bottle here. What was I a his father grew very sulky if he made fursaying?" ther inroads on the bottle, the good lad gen"I think you were speaking of dogs killing erally refrained from trying for more, and rats," Pitt remarked mildly, handing his subsided either into the currant wine, or to cousin the decanter to buzz. some private gin-and-water in the stables, "Killing rats was I? Well, Pitt, are you which he enjoyed in the company of the a sporting man? Do you Want to see a dawg coachman and his pipe. At Oxford, the as can kill a rat? If you do, come down quantity of wine was unlimited, but the with me to Tom Corduroy's, in Castle-street quality was inferior: but when quantity and Mews, and I'll show you such a bull-terrier quality united, as at his aunt's house, James as —" showed that he could appreciate them indeed "' Pooh! gammon," cried James, bursting -and hardly needed any of his cousin's enout laughing at his own absurdity —" you couragement in draining off the second botdon't care about a dawg or a rat; it's all tle supplied by Mr. Bowls. nonsense. I'm blest if I think you know the When the time for coffie came, however, difference between a dog and a duck." and for a return to the ladies, of whom he "No; by the way," Pitt continued with stood in awe, the young gentleman's agreeincreased blandness, "itwas about blood you able firankness left him, and he relapsed into were talking, and the personal advantages his usual surly timidity: contenting himself which people derive from patrician birth. by saying yes and no, by scowling at Lady Here's the fresh bottle." Jane, and by upsetting one cup of coffee "Blood's the word," said James, gulping during the evening. the ruby fluid down. " Nothing like blood, If he did not speak he yawned in a pitiable sir, in hbosses, dawgs, and men. Why on- manner, and his presence threw a damp uply last term, just before I was rusticated, that on the modest proceedings of the evening, is, I mean just before I had the measles, ha, for Miss Crawley and Lady Jane at their ha-there was me and Ringwood of Christ- piquet, and Miss Briggs at her work, felt church, Bob Ringwood, Lord Cinqbar's son, that his eyes were wildly fixed on them, and having our beer at the Bell at Blenheim, when were uneasy under that maudlin look. the Banbury bargeman offered to fight either " He seems a very silent, awkward, bashof us for a bowl of punch. 1 couldn't. My ful lad," said Miss Crawley to Mr. Pitt. arm was in a sling; couldn't even take the "' He is more communicative in men's sodrag down-a brute of a mare of mine had ciety than with ladies," Miachiavel dryly refell with me only two days before, out with plied: perhaps rather disappointed that the the Abingdon, and I thought my arm was port wine bad not made Jim speak more. broke. Well, sir, I couldn't finish him, but He had spent the early part of the next Bob had his coat 6ff at once —he stood up to morning in writing home to his mother a most the Banbury man for three minutes, and flourishing account of his reception by Miss polished him off in four rounds easy. Gad, Crawley. But ah! he little knew what evils how he did drop him, sir, and what was it? the day was bringing for him, and how short Blood, sir, all blood." * his reign of favor was destined to be. A'You don't drink, James," the ex-attache circumstance which Jim had forgotten-a continued. "In my time. at Oxford, the trivial but fatal circumstance; had taken place men passed round the bottle a little quicker at the Cribb's Arms on the night before he than you young fellows seem to do." had come to his aunt's house. It was no "Come, come," said James, putting his other than this-Jim, who was always of a hand to his nose and winking at his cousin generous disposition, and when in his cups with a pair of vinous eyes, "no jokes, old especially hospitable, had in the course of boy-no trying it on me. You want to trot the night treated the Tutbury champion and me out, but it's no go. In vino veritas, old the Rottingdean man, and their friends, twice boy. Mars, Bacchus, Apollo virorum, hay? or thrice to the refreshment of gin-and-waI wish my aunt would send down some of this ter-so that no less than eighteen glasses of to the governor-it's a precious good tap." that fluid at eight-pence per glass were "You had better ask her," Machiavel con- charged in Mr. James Crawley's bill. It tinued, " or make the best of your time now. was not the amount of eight-pences, but the What says the bard,'Nunc vino pellite culas quantity of gin which told fatally against poor Cras ingena iterabimus equor,'" and the James's character, when his aunt's butler, Bacchanalian quoting the above with a House Mr. Bowls, went down -at his mistress's reof Commons air, tossed off nearly a thimble- quest to pay the young gentleman's bill. The: 168 VANITY FAIR. landlord, fearing lest the account should be and Jim, attracted to the window by the refused altogether, swore solemnly that the romantic appearance of the ocean and the young gent had consumed personally every heavens, thought he would farther enjoy farthing's worth of the liquor: and Bowls them while smoking. Nobody would smell paid the bill finally, and showed it on his re- the tobacco, he thought, if he cunningly turn home to Mrs. Firkin, who was shocked opened the window and kept his head and at the fiightful prodigality of gin; and took pipe in the fiesh air. This he did: but the bill to Miss Briggs as accountant-general being in an excited state, poor Jim had for-who thought it her duty to mention the gotten that his door was open all this time, circumstance to her principal, Miss Crawley. so that the breeze blowing;nward, and a fine, Had he drunk a dozen bottles of claret the thorough draft being tstablished, the clouds old spinster could have pardoned him. Mr. of tobacco were carried down-stairs, and arFox and iMr. Sheridan drank claret. Gentle- rived with quite undiminished fragrance to men drank claret. But eighteen glasses of Miss Crawley and Miss Briggs. gin consumed among boxers in an ignoble That pipe of tobacco finished the business: pot-house-it was an odious crime and not to and the Bute-Crawleys never knew how be pardoned readily. Every thing went many thousand pounds it cost them. Firagainst the lad: he came home perfumed kin rushed down-stairs to Bowls, who was from the stables, whither he had been to pay reading out the " Fire and the Frying Pan" his dog Towzer a visit-and whence he was to his aid-de-camp in a loud and ghostly going to take his friiend out for an airing, when voice. The dreadful secret was told to him he met Miss Crawley and her wheezy Blen- by Firkin with so fightened a look, that for heim spaniel, which Towzer would have eat- the first moment Mr. Bowls and his young en up had not the Blenheim fled squealing man thought that robbers were in the honse; to the protection of Miss Briggs, while the the legs of whom had probably been discovatrocious master of the bull-dog stood laugh- ered by the woman under Miss Crawley's ing at the horrible persecution. bed. CWhen made aware of the fact howThis day, too, the unlucky boy's modesty ever-to rush up-stairs at three steps at a had likewise forsaken him. He was lively time-to enter the unconscious James's and facetious at dinner. During the repast apartment, calling out, "Mr. James," in a he leveled one or two jokes against Pitt voice stifled with alarm, and to cry, "For Crawley: he drank as much wine as upon Gawd's sake, sir, stop that'are pipe," was the previous day: and going quite unsuspi- the work of a minute with Mr. Bowls. " 0, ciously to the drawing-room began to enter- Mr. James, what'are you done," he said in tain the ladies there with some choice Ox- a voice of the deepest pathos, as he threw ford stories. He described the different the implement out of the window. "What pugilistic qualities of Molyneux and Dutch'ave you done, sir; Missis can't abide'em." Samn, offered playfully to give Lady Jane "Missis needn't smoke," said James, with the odds upon the Tutbury Pet against the a frantic, misplaced laugh, and thought the Rottingdean man, or take them, as her lady- whole matter an excellent joke. But his ship chose: and crowned the pleasantly by feelings were very different in the morning, proposing to back himself against his cousin when Mr. Bowl's young man, who operated Pitt Crawley, either with or without the upon Mr. James's boots, and brought him gloves. "And that's a fair offer, my buck," his hot water to shave that beard which he he said, with a loud laugh, slapping Pitt on was so anxiously expecting, handed a note the shoulder, "and my father told me to into Mr. James in bed, in the handwriting make it too, and he'll go halves in the bet, of Miss Briggs. ha, ha!" So saying, the engaging youth "Dear Sir," it said, " Miss Crawley has nodded knowingly at poor Miss Briggs, and passed an exceedingly disturbed night, owing pointed his thumb over his shoulder at Pitt to the shocking manner in which the house Crawley in a jocular and exulting manner. has been polluted by tobacco; Miss CrawPitt was not pleased altogether, perhaps, ley bids me say she regrets that she is too but still not unhappy in the main. Poor unwell to see you before you go-and above Jim had his laugh out: and staggered across all, that she ever induced you to remove the room with his aunt's candle, when the fiom the ale-house, where she is sure you old lady moved to retire, and offered to salute will be much more comfortable during the her with the blandest tipsy smile: and he rest of your stay at Brighton." took his own leave and went up-stairs to his And herewith honest James's career as a bed-room perfectly satisfied with himself, candidate for his aunt's favor ended. He and with a pleased notion that his aunt's had, in fact, and without knowing it, done money would be left to him in preference to what he menaced to do. He had fought his father and all the rest of his family. his cousin Pitt with the gloves. Once up in the bed-room, one would have thought he could not' make matters worse; Where, meanwhile, was he who had beev and yet this unlucky boy did. The moon once first favorite for this race for money was shining very pleasantly out on the sea, Becky and Rawdon, as we have seen, wero A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 169 come together after Waterloo, and were yes-of the dances, no; and yet how interpassing the winter of 1815 at Paris in great esting and pretty this fair creature looks:, sursplendor and gayety. Rebecca was a good rounded by the homage of the men, and so economist, and the price poor Jos Osborne soon to be a mother! To hear her speak had paid for her two horses was in itself suf- of you, her protectress, her mother, would ficient to keep their little establishment afloat bring tears to the eyes of ogres. How she for a year, at the least; there was no occa- loves you! how we all love our admirable, sion to turn into money "my pistols, the same our respectable Miss Crawley!" with which I shot Captain Marker," or the It is to be feared that this letter of the gold dressing-case, or the cloak lined with Parisian great lady did not by any means sable. Becky had it made into a pelisse for advance Mrs. Becky's interest with her adherself, in which she rode in the Bois de mirable, her respectable, relative. On the Boulogne to the admiration of all: and you contrary, the fury of the old spinster was should have seen the scene between her and beyond bounds, when she found what was her delighted husband, whom she rejoined Rebecca's situation, and how audaciously after the army had entered Cambray, and she had made use of Miss Crawley's name, when she unsewed herself, and let out of to get an entree into Parisian society. Too her dress all those watches, knick-knacks, much shaken in mind and body to compose bank-notes, checks, and valuables, which she a letter in the French language in reply to had secreted in the wadding, previous to her that of her correspondent, she dictated to meditated flight from Brussels! Tufto was Briggs a furious answer in her own native charmed, and Rawdon roared with delight- tongue, repudiating Mrs. Rawdon Crawley ful laughter, and swore that she was bet- altogether, and warning the public to beware ter than any play he ever, saw, by Jove. of her as a most artful and dangerous person. And the way in which she jockeyed Jos, But as Madame the Duchess of X- had and which she described with infinite fun, only been twenty years in England, she did carried up his delight to a pitch of quite in- not understand a single word of the language, sane enthusiasm. He believed in his wife and contented herself by informing Mrs. as much as the French soldiers in Napoleon. Rawdon Crawley at their next meeting, that Her success in Paris was remarkable. All she had received a charming letter from that the French ladies voted her charming. She chere Afees, and that it was full of benevolent spoke their language admirably. She adopt- things for Mrs. Crawley, who began seriously ed at once their grace, their liveliness, their to have hopes that the.spinster would relent. manner. Her husband was stupid, certainly Meanwhile, she was the gayest and most -all English are stupid-and, besides, a dull admired of Englishwomen, and had a little husband at Paris is always a point in a lady's European congress on her reception-nightfavor. He was the heir of the rich and Prussians and Cossacks, Spaniards and Enspirituelle Miss Crawley, whose house had glish-all the world was at Paris during this been open to so many of the French noblesse famous winter: to have seen the stars and during the emigration. They received the cordons in Rebecca's humble saloon would colonel's wife in their own hotels. "Why," have made all Baker-street pale with envy. wrote a great lady to Miss Crawley, who Famous warriors rode by her carriage in the had bought her lace and trinkets at the duch- Bois, or crowded her modest little box at the ess's own price, and given her many a din- Opera. Rawdon was in the highest spirits. ner during the pinching times after the Rev- There were no duns in Paris as yet: there olution —" Why does not our dear Miss come were parties every day at Very's or Beauto her nephew and niece, and her attached villiers'; play was plentiful, and his luck friends in Paris? All the world raffoles of good. Tufto, perhaps, was sulky. Mrs. the charming Mistress and her espieg'le Tufto had come over to Paris at her own inbeauty. Yes, we see in her the grace, the vitation, and besides this contretemps, there charm, the wit of our dear friend Miss were a score of generals now round Becky's Crawley! The king took notice of her yes- chair, and she might take her choice of a terday at the Tuileries, and we are all jeal- dozen bouquets when she went to the play. ous of the attention which Monsieur pays Lady Bareacres and the chiefs of the Enher. If you could have seen the spite of a glish society, stupid and irreproachable fecertain stupid Miladi Bareacres (whose males, writhed with anguish at the success eagle-beak and toque and feathers may be of the little upstart Becky, whose poisoned seen peering over the heads of all assem- jokes quivered and rankled in their chaste blies) when Madame, the Duchess of An- breasts. But she had all the men on hez goul6me, the august daughter and companion side. She fought the women with indomi of kings, desired especially to be presented table courage, and they could not talk scan to Mrs. Cgpwley, as your dear daughter and dal in any tongue but their own. Protegee, and thanked her in the name of So infetes, pleasures, and prosperity, the Framrce, for all your benevolence toward our winter of 1815-16 passed away with Mrs. unfortunates during their exile! She is of Rawdon Crawley, who aecomnmodated her all the societies, of all the balls-of the balls, self to polite life as if her ancestors had been VANITY FAIR. peopie of fashion for centuries past, and who same time. The Gazette first published the from her wit, talent, and energy, indeed result of the two battles; at which glorious merited a place of honor in Vanity Fair. In intelligence all England thrilled with triumph the early spring of 1816, Galignani's Journal and fear. Particulars then followed; and contained the following announcement in an after the announcement of the victories came interesting corner of the paper: 1"On the the list of the wounded and the slain. Who 26th of March-the Lady of Lieutenant- can tell the dread with which that catalogue colonel Crawley of - Life Guards Green- was opened and read! Fancy, at every jf a son and heir." village and homestead almost through the This event was copied into the London three kingdoms, the great news coming of papers, out of which Miss Briggs read the the battles of Flanders, and the feelings of statement to Miss Crawley, at breakfast, at exultation and gratitude, bereavement and Brighton. The intelligence, expected as it sickening dismay, when the lists of the regimight have been, caused a crisis in the affairs mental losses were gone through, and it of the Crawley family. The spinster's rage became known whether the dear friend and rose to its height, and sending instantly for relative had escaped or had fallen. Any Pitt, her nephew, and for Lady Southdown, body who will take the trouble of looking from Brunswick-square, she requested an back to a file of the newspapers of the time, immediate celebration of the marriage which must, even now, feel at second-hand this had been so long pending between the two breathless pause of expectation. The list of families. And she announced that it was casualities are carried on from day to day: her intention to allow the young couple a you stop in the midst as in a story which is thousand a year during her lifetime, at the to be continued in our next. Think what expiration of which the bulk of her property the feelings must have been as those papers would be settled upon her nephew and her followed each other fresh from the press; dear niece, Lady Jane Crawley. Waxy and if such an interest could be felt in our came down to ratify the deeds-Lord South- country, and about a battle where but twenty down gave away his sister-she was married thousand of our people were engaged, think by a bishop, and not by the Rev. Bartholo- of the condition of Europe twenty years mew Irons-to the disappointment of the ir- before, where people were fighting, not by regular prelate. thousands, but by millions; each one of When they were married-Pitt would whom as he struck his enemy wounded have liked to take a hymeneal tour with his horribly some other innocent heart far away. bride, as became people of their condition. The news which that famous Gazette But the affection of the old lady toward brought to the Osbornes gave a dreadful Lady Jane had grown so strong, that she shock to the family and its chief. The girls fairly owned she could not part with her indulged unrestrained in their grief. The favorite. Pitt and his wife came therefore, gloom-stricken old father was still more and lived with Miss Crawley: and (greatly borne down by his fate and sorrow.. He to the annoyance of poor Pitt, who conceived strove to think that a judgment was on the himself a most injured character-being sub- boy for his disobedience.- He dared not own ject to the humors of his aunt on one side that the severity of the sentence frightened and of his mother-in-law on the other), Lady him, and that its fulfillment had come too Southdown, from her neighboring house, soon upon his curses. Sometimes a shudreigned over the whole family-Pitt, Lady dering terror struck him, as if he had been Jane, Miss' Crawley, Briggs, Bowls, Firkin, the author of the doom which he had called and all. She pitilessly dosed them with her down on his son. There was a chance betracts and her medicine: she dismissed fore of reconciliation. The boy's wife might Creamer, she installed Rodgers, and soon have died; or he might have come back and stripped Miss Crawley of even the semblance said, Father I have sinned. But there was of authority. The poGr soul grew so timid no hope now. He stood on the other side that she actually left off bullying Briggs any of the gulf impassable, haunting his parent more, and clung to her niece, more fond and with sad eyes. He remembered theml once more terrified every day. Peace to thee, before so in a fever, when every one thought kind and selfish, vain and generous old hea- the lad was dying, and he lay on his bed then! We shall see thee no more. Let us speechless, and gazing with a dreadful gloom. hope that Lady Jane supported her kindly, Good God! how the father clung to the and led her with gentle hand out of the busy doctor then; and with what a sickening struggle of Vanity Fair. anxiety he followed him: what a weight of grief was off his mind when, after the crisis of the fever, the lad recovered, and looked CHAPTER XXXIV. at his father once more with eyes that recognized him. But now there was no help WIDOW AND MOTHER. or cure, or chance of reconcilement: above THE news of the great fight of Quatre all, there were no humble words to soothe Bras and Waterloo reached England at the vanity outraged and furious, or bring to its A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 171 natural flow the poisoned, angry blood. And dear fiiend? How his letters, written in it is hard to say which pang it was tore the the period of love and confidence, sicken and proud father's heart most keenly-that his rebuke you! What a dreary mourning it is son should have gone out of the reach of his to dwell upon those vehement protests of forgiveness, or that the apology which his dead affection! What lying epitaphs they own pride expected should have escaped make over the corpse of love! WVhat dark, him. cruel comments upon life and vanities! Whatever his sensations might have been, Most of us have got or written drawers full however, the stern old man would have no of them. They are closet-skeletons which confidant. He never mentioned his son's we keep and shun. Osborne trembled long name to his daughters; but ordered the before the letter from his dead son. elder to place all the females of the estab- The poor boy's letter did not say much. lishment in mourning; and desired that the He had been too proud to acknowledge the male servants should be similarly attired in tenderness which his heart felt. He only deep black. All parties and entertainments, said, that on the eve of a great battle, he of course, were to be put off. No commu- wished to bid his father farewell, and solnications were made to his future son-in- emnly to implore his good offices for the law, whose marriage-day had been fixed; wife-it mnight be for the child-whom he but there was enough in Mr. Osborne's ap- left behind him. He owned with contrition pearance to prevent Mr. Bullock from mak- that his irregularities and extravagance had ing any inquiries, or in any way pressing already wasted a large part of his mother's forward that ceremony. He and the ladies little fortune. He thanked his father for whispered about it under their voices in the his former generous conduct; and he promdrawing-room sometimes, whither the father ised him, that if he fell on the field or surnever came. He remained constantly in his vived it, he would act in a. manner worthy own study; the whole front part of the of the name of George Osborne. house being closed until some time after the His English habit, pride, awkwardness completion of the general mourning. perhaps, had prevented him from saying About three weeks after the 18th of June, more. His father could not see the kiss Mr. Osborne's acquaintance, Sir William George had placed on the superscription of Dobbin, called at Mr. Osborne's house in his letter. Mr. Osborne dropped it with the Russell-square, with a very pale and agitated bitterest, deadliest- pang of balked affection face, and insisted uponseeing that gentleman. and revenge. His son was still beloved and Ushered into his room, and after a few unforgiven. words, which neither the speaker nor the About two months afterward, however, as host understood, the former produced from the young ladies of the familywent to church an inclosure a letter sealed with a large red with their father, they remarked how he seal. " My son, Major Dobbin,"the alder- took a different seat from that which he man said, with some hesitation, " dispatched usually occupied when he chose to attend me a letter by an officer of the -th, who divine worship; and that from his cushion arrived in town to-day. My son's letter opposite, he looked up at the wall over their contains one for you, Osborne." The al- heads. This caused the young women derman placed the letter on the table, and likewise to gaze in the direction toward Osborne stared at him for a moment or two in which the father's gloomy eyes pointed: silence. His looks fiightened the embassa- and they saw an elaborate monument upon dor, who, after looking guiltily for a little the wall, where Britannia was represented time at the grief-stricken man, hurried away weeping over an urn, and a broken sword, without a farther word. and a couchant lion, indicated that the piece \ The letter was in George's well-known of sculpture had been erected in honor of a bold hand-writing. It was that one which deceased warrior. The sculptors of those he had written before day-break on the 16th days had stocks of such funeral emblems in of June, and just before he took leave of hand; as you may see still on the walls of Amelia. The great red seal was emblazoned St. Paul's, which are covered with hundreds with the sham coat of arms which Osborne of these braggart heathen allegories. There had assumed from the peerage, with " Pax was a constant demand for them during the in bello" for a motto; that of the ducal first fifteen years of the present century. house with which the vain old man tried to Unler the memorial in question were fancy himself connected. The hand that emblazoned the well known and pompous signed it would never hold pen or sword Osborne arms; and the inscription said, that more. The very seal that sealed it had the monument was " Sacred to the memory been robbed from George's dead body as it of George Osborne, Junior, Esq., late a caplay on the field of battle. The father knew tain in his majesty's — th regiment of foot, nothing of this, but sat and looked at the let- who fell on the 18th of June, 1815, aged 28 ter in terrified vacancy. He almost fell years, while fighting for his king and counwhen he went to open it. try in the glorious victory of Waterloo Have you ever had a difference with a I)ulce et decorum est pro patrid mori." L72 VANITY FAIR. The sight of that stone agitated the nerves who questioned him. " The whole army of the sisters so much, that Miss Mari.a was didn't contain a finer or a better officer," compelled to leave the church. The con- the soldier said. 1"The sergeant of the gregation made way respectfully for those captain's company (Captain Raymond had it sobbing girls clothed in deep black, and pitied now) was in town though, and was just well the stern old father seated opposite the me- of a shot in the shoulder. His honor might morial of the dead soldier. " Will he for- see him if he liked, who could tell him any give Mrs. George?" the girls said to them- thing he wanted to know about-about the selves as soon as the;r ebullition of grief was -th's actions. But his honor had seen over. Much conversation passed too amnong Major Dobbin no doubt, the brave captain's theacquaintances of the Osborne family, who great fiiend; and Mrs.. Osborne, who was knew of the rupture between the son and here too, andi.had been very bad, he heard father, caused by the former's marriage, as every body say. They say she was out of to the chance of a reconciliation with the her mind like for six weeks or more. But young widow. There were'bets among your honor knows all about that-asking the gentlemen both about Russell-square and your pardon"-the man added. in the city. Osborne put a guinea into the soldier's If-the sisters had any anxiety regarding hand, and told him he should have another the possible recognition of Amelia as a if he would bring the sergeant to the Hotel daughter of the family, it was increased du Pare; a promise which very soon brought presently, and toward the end of the au- the desired officer to Mr. Osborne's prestumn, by their father's announcement that ence. And the first soldier went away; he was going abroad. He did not say and, after telling a comrade or two how Capwhither, but they knew at once that his tain Osborne's father was arrived, and what a steps would be turned toward Belgium, and fiee-handed, generous gentleman he was, were aware that George's widow was still they went and made good cheer with drink in Brussels. They had pretty accurate and feasting, as long as the guineas lasted news indeed of poor Amelia from Lady which had come from the proud purse of Dobbin and her daughters. Our honest the mourning old father. captain had been promoted in consequence In the sergeant's company, who was also of the death of the second major of the just convalescent, Osborne made the journey regiment on the field; and the brave of Waterloo and Quatre Bras, a journey O'Dowd, who had distinguished himself which thousands of his countrymen were greatly here as upon all occasions where he then taking. HIe took the sergeant with had a chance to show his coolness and valor, him in his carriage, and went through both was a Colonel and Companion of the Bath. fields under his guidance. He saw the Very many of the brave -th, who had point of the road where the regiment suffered severely upon both days of action, marched into action on the 16th, and the were still at Brussels in the autumn, re- slope down which they drove the French covering of their wounds. The city was a cavalry who were pressing on the retreating vast military hospital for months after the Belgians. There was the spot where the great battles; and as men and officers began noble captain cut down the French officer to rally from their hurts, the gardens and who was grappling with the young ensign places of public resort swarmed with maim- for the colors, the color-sergeants having ed warriors old and young, who, just res- been shot down. Along this road they recued out of death, fell to gambling and gay- treated on the next day, and here was the ety, and love-making, as people of Vanity bank at which the regiment bivouacked unFair will do. Mr. Osborne found out some der the rain of the night of the 17th. of the -th easily. He knew their uniform Further on was the position which they quite well, and had been used to follow all took and held during the day, forming time the promotions and exchanges in the regi- after time to receive the charge of the ment, and loved to talk about it and its enemy's horsemen, and lying down under officers as if he had been one of the num- shelter of the bank from the furious French bher. On the day after his arrival at Brus- cannonade. And it was at this declivity sels, and as he issued from his hotel, which when at evening the whole English line faced the park, he saw a soldier in the well- received the order to advance, as the enemy known facings, reposing on a stone-bench fell back after his last charge, that the captain in the garden, and went and sate down hurraing and rushing down the hill waving his trembling by the wounded convalescent manl. sword, received a shot and fell dead. "It "' Were you in Captain Osborne's com- was Major Dobbin who took back the cap pany?" he said, and added, after a pause, tain's body to Brussels," the sergeant said in "he was my son, sir." a low voice, "and had him buried, as your The man was not of the captain's com- honor knows." The peasants and relicpany, but, he lifted up his unwounded arm hunters about the place were screaming and touched his cap sadly and respectfully round the pair, as the soldier told his story to the haggard, broken-spirited gentleman offering for sale all sorts of mementoes of A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 173 the fight, crosses, and epaulets, and shattered geant, with a curse and defiance in his eyo, cuirasses, and eagles. cast at his companion, who could not help Osborne gave a sumptuous reward to the looking at himn-as much as to say: " How sergeant when he parted with him, aftelr dare yout look at me? Damn you: I do having visited the scenes of his son's last hate her. It is she who has tumbled my exploits. His burial place he had already hopes and all my pride down." "' Tell the seen. Indeed he had driven thither im- scoundrel to drive on quick," he shouted mediately after his arrival at Brussels. with an oath, to the lackey on the box. A George's body lay in the pretty burial- minute afterward, a horse came clattering ground of Lacken, near the city; in which over the pavement behind Osborne's carplace, having once visited it on a party of riage, and Dobbin rode up. His thoughts pleasure, he had ightly expressed a wish had been elsewhere as thie carriages passed to have his grave made. And there the each other, and it was not until he had ridyoung officer was laid by his friend, in the den some paces forward that he rememunconsecrated corner of the garden, sepa- bered it was Osborne who had just passed rated by a little hedge from the temples and him. Then he turned to examine if the towns and plantations of flowers and shrubs. sight of her father-in-law had made any under which the Roman Catholic dead re- impression on Amelia, but the poor girl did pose. It seemed a humiliation to old Os- not know who had passed. Then William, borne to think that his son, an English who daily used to accompany her- in his gentleman, a captain in the famous British drives, taking out his watch, made some army, should not be found worthy to lie in excuse about an engagement which he sudground where mere foreigners were buried. denly recollected, and so rode off. She did Which of us is there can tell how much not remark that either: but sate looking bevanity lurks in ouir warmest regard for' oth- fore her, over the homely landscape toward ers, and how selfish our- love is? Old Os- the woods in the distance, by which George borne did not speculate much upon the marched away. mingled nature of his feelings, and how " Mr. Osborne, Mr. Osborne!" cried Dobhis instinct and selfishness were combating bin, as he rode up and held out his hand. together. He firmly believed that every Osborne made no motion to take it, but thing he did was right, that he ought on all shouted out once more, and with another occasions to have his own way-and like curse to his servant to drive on. the sting of a wasp or serpent his hatred Dobbin laid his hand on the carriage side. rushed out armed and poisonous against any " I will see you, sir," he said.." I have a thing like opposition. He was proud of his message forl you." hatred as of every thing else. Always to "'From that woman?" said Osborne be right, always to trample forward, and fiercely. never to doubt, are not these the great "No," replied the other, "fr om your qualities with which dullness takes the lead son; at which Osborne fell back into the in the world? corner of his carriage, and Dobbin allowing As after the drive to Waterloo, Mr. Os- it to pass on, rode close behind it, and so borne's carriage was nearing the gates of through the town until they reached Mar. the city at sunset, they met another open Osborne's hotel, and without a word. There barouche, in which were a couple of ladies he followed Osborne up to his apartments. and a gentleman, and by the side of which George had often been in the rooms; they an officer was riding. Osborne gave a start were the lodgings which the Crawleys had back, and the sergeant, seated with him, occupied during their stay in Brussels. cast a look of surprise at his neighbor, as " Pray, have you any commands for me, he touched his cap to the officer, who me- Captain Dobbil, or, I beg your pardon, I chanically returned his salute. It was Ame- should say Major Dobbin, since better men lia, with the lame young ensign by ther side, than you are dead, and you step into their and opposite to her her faithful friend Mrs. shoes," said Mr. Osborne, in that sarcastic O'Dowd. It was Amelia, but how changed tone which he sometimes was pleased to asfrom the fresh and comely girl Osborne sume. knew. Her face was white and thin. Her " Better men are dead,":Dobbin replied pretty brown hair was parted under a wid- "I want to speak to you about one." ow's cap —the poor child. Her eyes were "Make it short, sir," said the other with fixed, and looking nowhere. They stared an oath, scowling at his visitor. blank in the face of Osborne, as the car- "I am here as his closest fiiend," the riages crossed each other, but she did not major resumed, "and the executor of his know him; nor did he recognize her; until will. He made it before we went into action. looking up, he saw Dobbin riding by her, Are you aware how small his means are, and then he knew who it was. He hated and of the straitened circumstances of his her. He did not know how much until he widow?" saw her there. When her carriage had " I don't know his widow, sir," Osborne passed on, he turned and stared at the ser- said "Lether gobackto her father." But 174 VANITY FAIR. the gentleman whom he addressed was de- as the baby nestled there. She was safe. terminedto remain in good temper, and went The doctors who attended her, and had on without hee'ding the interruption. feared for her life or for her brain, had wait"Do you know, sir, Mrs. Osborne's con- ed anxiously for this crisis before they could dition? Her life and'her reason almost pronounce that either was secure. It was have been shaken by the blow which has worth the long months of doubt and dread fallen on her. It-is very doubtful whether which the persons, who had constantly been she will rally. There is a chance left for with her, had passed, to see her eyes once her however, and it is about this I came more beaming tenderly upon them. to speak to you. She will be a mother Our fiiend Dobbin was one of them. It soon. Will you visit the parent's offense was he who brought her back to England upon the child's head? or will you forgive and to her'mother's house; when'Mrs. the child for poor George's sake?" O'Dowd, receiving a peremptory sumrnons. Osborne broke out into a ihapsody of self- from her colonel, had been forced to quit praise and imprecations. By the first, ex- her patient. To see Dobbin holding the cusing himself to his own conscience for his infant, and to hear Amelia's laugh of triumph conduct; by the second, exaggerating the as she watched him, would have done any undutifulness of George. No father in all man good who had a sense of humor. England could have behaved more generous- William was the godfather of the child, and ly to a son, who had rebelled against him exerted his ingenuity in the purchase of wickedly. He had died without even so cups, spoons, pap-boats, and corals for this much as confessing he was wrong. Let little Christian. him take the consequences of his undutiful- How his mother nursed him, and dressed ness and folly. As for himself Mr. Osborne, him, and lived upon him; how she drove he was a man of his word. He had sworn away all nurses, and would scarce allow any never to speak to that woman or to recog- hand but her own to touch him; how she nize her as his son's wife. " And that's considered that the greatest favor she could what you may tell her," he concluded with confer upon his godfather, Major Dobbin, an oath; " and that's what I will stick to to was to allow the major occasionally to danthe last day of my life." die him, need not be, told here. This child There was no hope from that quarter was her being. Her existence was a mathen. The widow must live on her slender ternal caress. She enveloped the feeble pittance, or on such aid as Jos could give and unconscious creature with love and her. " I might tell her, and she would not worship. It was her life which the babe heed. it," thought Dobbin sadly: for the drank in from her bosom. Of nights, and poor girl's thoughts were not here at all when alone, she had stealthy and intense since her catastrophe, and stupefied under raptures of motherly love, such as God's the pressure of her sorrow, good and evil marvelous care has awarded to the female were alike indifferent to her. So indeed, instinct-joys how far higher and lower were even firiendship and kindness. She re- than reason-blind beautiful devotions which ceived them both uncomplainingly, and hav- only women's hearts know. It was William ing accepted them, relapsed into her grief. Dobbin's task to muse upon these movements of Amelia's, and to watch her heart; Suppose some twelve months after the and if his love made him divine almost all above conversation took place to have passed the feelings which agitated it, alas! he could in the life of our poor Amelia. She has see with a fatal perspicuity that there was spent the first portion of that time in a sorrow no place there for him. And so gently, he so profound and pitiable, that we who have bore his fate, knowing it, and content to been watching and describing some of the bear it. emotions of that weak and tender heart, I suppose Amelia's parent's saw through must drawback in the presence of the cruel the intentions of the major, and were not grief under which it is bleeding. Tread si- ill-disposed to encourage him; for Bobbin lently round the hapless'couch of the poor visited their house daily, and stayed for prostrate soul. Shut gently the door of the hours with them, or with Amelia, or with dark chamber, wherein she suffers, as those the honest landlord, Mir. Clapp and *his kind people did who nursed her through the family. He brought, on one pretext or. first months of her pain, and never left her another, presents to every body, and almost until heaven had sent her consolation. A every day; and went with the landlord's day came-of almost terrified delight and little girl who was rather a favorite with wonder-when the poor widowed girl press- Amelia, by the name of Major Sugarplums. ed a child upon her breast-a child, with It was this little child who commonly acted the eyes of George who was gone-a little as mistress of the ceremonies to introduce boy, as beautiful as a cherub. What a mir- him to Mrs. Osborne. She laughed one acle it was to bear its first cry! How she day when Major Sugarplums' cab drove up laughed and wept over it-how love, and to Fulham, and he descended from it, bring hone, and prayer woke again in her bosom ing out a wooden horse, a drum, a trumpet --- ~ ~ ~~~~~ t,"~-'~'~~iir~i ill,,', ri ij1, Ii,i littilJ l ~'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~iI?'i i~ Il I I.. ]MAJOR ~UOJAIlPLTJNMq (p. IT.' A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. X75 and other warlike toys, for little Georgy, must represent an expense of six hundred a who was scarcely six months old, and for year at the very least-and then there are whom the articles in question were entirely the splendid dinners, the two boys at Eton, premature. the prize governess and masters for the The child was asleep. "Hush," said girls, the trip abroad, or to Eastbourne or Amelia, annoyed, perhaps, at the creaking Worthing in the autumn, the annual ball of the major's boots; and she held out her with a supper from Gunter's (who, by the hand; smiling because William could not way, supplies most of the first-rate dinners take it until he had rid himself of his cargo which J. gives, as I know very well, having of toys. " Go down stairs, little Mary," been invited to one of them to fill a vacant said he presently to the child, " I want to place, when I saw at once that these repasts speak to Mrs. Osborne." She looked up are very superior to the common run of enrather astonished, and laid down the infant tertainments for which the humbler sort of on its bed. J.'s acquaintances get cards)-who, I say, "I am come to say good-by, Amelia," with the most good-natured feelings in the said he, taking her slender little white hand world can help wondering how the Jengently. kinses make out matters? WVhat is Jen"Good-by? and where are you going?" kins? —we all know-Commissioner of the she said, with a smile. Tape and Sealing Wax Office, with e1200 "' Send the letters to the agents," he said; a year for salary. Had his wife a private "they will forward them; for you will write fortune? Pooh! —Miss Flint-one of eleven to me, won't you? I shall be away a long children of a small squire in Buckinghamtime." shire. All she ever gets from her family is "I'll write to you about Georgy," she a turkey at Christmas, in exchange for said. "Dear William, how good you have which she has to board two or three of her been to him and to me. Look at him! sisters in the off season; and lodge and feed Isn't he like an angel?" her brothers when they come to town. The little pink hands of the child closed How does Jenkins balance his income? I mechanically round the honest soldier's fin- say, as every friend of his must say, How is ger, and Amelia looked up in his face with it that he has not been outlawed long since, bright maternal pleasure. The cruelest and that he ever came back (as he did to the looks could not have wounded him more surprise of every body) last year from Bouthan that glance of hopeless kindness. He logne? bent over the child and mother. He could "I" is here introduced to personify the not speak for a moment. And it was with world in general —the Mrs. Grundy of each all his strength that he could force himself respected reader's private circle-every one to say a God bless you. " God bless you," of whom can point to some families of his said Amelia, and held up her face and kissed acquaintance who live nobody knows how. him. Many a glass of wine have we all of us "Hush! Don't wake Georgy!" she add- drunk, I have very little doubt, hob-and-nobed,! as William Dobbin went to the door with bing with the hospitable giver, and wonderheavy'steps. She did not hear the noise of ing how the deuce he paid for it. his cab-wheels as he'drove away: -she was Some three or four years after his stay in looking at the child, who was laughing in his Paris, when Rawdon.Crawley and his wife sleep. were established in a very small, comfortable house in Curzon-street, Mayfair, there was scarcely one of the numerous fiiends whom CHAPTER XXXV1. they entertained at dinner that; did not ask no0w~ vTo LIVrE WELL ON NOTHING A YEAR. the above question regarding them. The novelist, it "ha's been said before," knows I suPPosE there is no man in this Vanity every thing; and as I am in a situation to be Fair of ours so little observant asnot to think able to tell the public how Crawley and his sometimes about the worldly affairs of his wife lived without any income, may I enacquaintances, or so extremely charitable as treat the public newspapers which are in not to wonder how his neighbor Jones, or the habit of extracting portions of the various his neighbor Smith, can make both ends periodical works now published, not to meet at the end of the year. With the ut- reprint the following exact narrative and most regard for the family for instance (for calculations-of which I ought, as the disI dine with them twice or thrice in a season), coverer (and at some expense too), to have I can not but own that the appearance of the benefit. Miy son-I would say, were I the Jenkinses in the Park, in the large blessed with a child-you may by deep inbarouche with the grenadier footmen, will quiry and constant intercourse with him, surprise and mystify me to my dying day: learn how a man lives comfortably on for though I know the equipage is only job- nothing a year.- Butit " i" hesthnot to be bed, and all the Jenkins people are on board- intimate with gentlemen of this profession, wages, yet those three men and the carriage and to take the calculations at seconld-hand, P1l7 VANITY FAIR. as you do logarithms, for to work them amateur had grown to be a consummate yourself, depend upon it, will cost you some- master of billiards. Like a great general, thing considerable. his genius used to rise with the danger, and On nothing per annum then, and during when the luck had been unfavorable to him a course of some two or three years, of for a whole game, and the bets were consewhich we can afford to give but a very brief quently against him, he would, with consumhistory, Crawley and his wife lived very mate skill and boldness, make some prohappily and comfortably at Paris. It was in digious hits which would restore the battle, this period that he quitted the Guards, and and come in a victor at the end, to the assold out of the army. When we find him tonishment of every body-of every body, again, his mustaches and the title of colonel that is, who was a stranger to his play. oni his card are the only relics of his military Those who were accustomed to see it were profession. cautious how they staked their money It has been mentioned that Rebecca, soon against a man of such sudden resources, and after her arrival in Paris, took a very smart brilliant, and overpowering skill. and leading position in the society of that At games of cards he was equally skillful; capital, and was welcomed at some of the for though he would constantly lose money most distinguished houses of the restored at the commencement of an evening, playFrench nobility. The English men of fash- ing so carelessly and making such blunders, ion in Paris courted her, too, to the disgust that new comers were often inclined to of the ladies their wives, who could not bear think meanly of his talent; yet when roused the parvenue. For some months the sa- to action, and awakened to caution by reIons of the Faubourg St. Germain, in which peated small losses, it was remarked that her place was secured, and the splendors of Crawley's play became quite different, and the new court where she was received with that he was pretty sure of beating. his enemy much distinction, delighted and perhaps a thoroughly before the night was over. Inlittle intoxicated Mrs. Crawley, who may deed, very few men could say that they have been disposed during this period of ever had the better of him. elation to slight the people —honest young His successes were so repeated that no military men mostly-who formed her hus- wonder the envious and the vanquished band's chief society. spoke sometimes with bitterness regarding But the colonel yawned sadly among the them. And as the French say of the Duke duchesses and great ladies of the court. of Wellington, who never sufiered a defeat, The old women who played'carte made that only an astonishing series of lucky acsuch a noise about a five-firanc piece, that it cidents enabled him to be an invariable winwas not worth Colonel Crawley's while to ner; yet even they allow that he cheated sit down at a card-table. The wit of their at WTaterloo, and was enabled to win the conversation he could not appreciate, being last great trick: so it was hinted at headignorant of their language. And what good quarters in England, that some foul play could his wife get, he urged, by making must have taken place in order to account courtesies every night to. a whole circle of foitr the continuous successes of Colonel princesses? I-le left Rebecca presently to Crawley. friequent these parties alone; resuming his Though Frascati's and the Salon were own simple pursuits and amusements among open at that time in Paris, the mania for the amiable friends of his own choice. play was so widely spread, that the public The truth is, when we say of a gentle- gambling-rooms did not suffice for the genman that he lives elegantly on nothing eral ardor, and gambling went on in private a year, we use the word 1" nothing," to sig- houses as much as if there had been no pubnify something unknown; meaning, simply, lio means for gratifying the passion. At that we don't know how the gentleman in Crawley's charming little reunions of. an question defiays the expenses of his estab- evening this fatal amusement commonly lishment. Now, our friend the colonel had was practiced —much to good-natured little a great aptitude for all games of chance; Mrs. Crawley's annoyance. She spoke and exercising himself, as he continually about her husband's passion for dice with did, with the cards, the dice-box, or the oue, the deepest grief; she bewailed it to every it is natural to suppose that he attained a body who came to her house. She besought much greater skill in the use of these arti- the young fellows never, never to touch a cles than men can possess who only occa- box; and when young Green, of the rifles, sionally handle them. To use a cue at bil- lost a very considerable sum of money, Reliards well is like using a pencil, or a Ger- becca passed a whole night in tears, as the man flute, or a small-sword-you can not servant told the unfortunate young gentlemaster any one of these implements at first, man, and actually went on her knees to her and it is only by repeated study and perse- husband to beseech him to remit the'debt, verance, joined to a natural taste, that a and burn the acknowledgment. How could man can excel in the handling of either. he? He had lost just as much himself to Now Crawley, fiomn being only a brilliant Blackstone of the hussars, and Count Pun ~..~F —~.~~:.-...., — 1.-~- --— _ ~_ rm. i' --... ~i~~'II1,. /l'- -'-' i,~r / ~t *~~~~~~~~~~~ i:1It t!! iLra RAWDON'S DEPAR'I'SRt FROM PARIS or' — 8 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~L - _..1 —:- 1 ~~~~ I:Ra RADON~ RPAPJORE FOM PAIS A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 177 ter of the Han0o'irian cavalry. Green might with him. It was to Mrs. Brent, thebeetlehave any decent tih:le; but pay? of course browed wife of Mr. Commissary Brent, to he must pay; to talk of burning I O U's whom the general transferred his attentions was child's play. now-his bouquets, his dinners at the resOther officers, chiefly young —for the taurateurs, his opera-boxes, and his knickyoung fellows gathered round Mrs. Craw- knacks. Poor Mrs. Tufto was no more hapley-came from her parties with long faces, py than before, and had still to pass long having dropped more or less money at her evenings alone with her daughters, knowing fatal card-tables. Her house began to have that her general was gone off, scented and an unfortunate reputation. The old hands curled, to stand behind Mrs. Brent's chair at warned the less experienced of their danger. the play. Becky had a dozen admirers in Colonel O'Dowd, of the — th regiment, one his place to be sure; and could cut her rival of those occupying in Paris, warned Lieu- to pieces with her wit. But, as we have tenant Spooney of that coups. A loud and said, she was growing tired of thijs idle, soviolent fitacas took place between the infan- cial life: opera-boxes and restaurateur-dintry-colonel and his lady, who were dining at neis palled upon her: nosegays could not be the Caf6 de Paris, and Colonel and Mrs. laid by as a provision for future years: and Crawley, who were also taking their meal she could not live upon knick-knacks, laced there. The ladies engaged on both sides. handkerchiefs, and kid gloves. She felt the Mrs. O'Dowd snapped her fingers in Mrs. frivolity of pleasure, and longed for more Crawley's face, and called her husband "no substantial benefits. betther than a black-leg." Colonel Crawley At this juncture news arrived which was challenged Colonel O'Dowd, C.B. The spread among the many creditors of the commnander-in-chief hearing of the dispute colonel at Paris, and which caused them sent for Colonel Crawley, who was getting great satisfaction. Miss Crawley, the rich ready the same pistols, " which he shot Cap- aunt fiom whom he expected his immense tain Marker," and had such a conversation inheritance, was dying; the colonel must with him that no duel took place. If Re- haste to her bed-side. Mrs. Crawley and becca had not gone on her knees to General her child would remain behind until he came Tufto, Crawley would have been sent back to reclaim them. He departed for Calais, to England; and he did not play, except with and having reached that place in safety, it civilians, for some weeks after. might have been supposed that he went to But in spite of Rawdon's undoubted skill Dover; but, instead, he took the diligence and constant successes, it became evident to to Dunkirk, and thence traveled to Brussels, Rebecca, considering these things, that their for which place he had a former predilecposition was but a precarious one, and that tion. The fact is, he owed more money at even, although they paid scarcely any body, London than at Paris; and he preferred their little capital would end one day by the quiet little Belgian city to either of the dwindling into zero. " Gambling," she imore noisy capitals. would say, "dear, is good to help your in- Her aunt was dead. Mrs. Crawley orcome, but not as an income itself. Some dered the most intense mourning for herself day people may be tired of play, and then and little Rawdon. The colonel was busy where are we?" Rawdon acquiesced in arranging the affairs of the inheritance. the justice of her opinion; and in truth he They could take the premier now, instead had remariked that after a few nights of his of the little entresol of the hotel which they little-suppe rs,&c., gentlemen were tiired of play occupied. Mrs. Crawley and the landlord with him, and, in spite of Rebecca's charms, had a consultation about the new hangings, did not present themselves very eagerly. an amicable wrangle about the carpets, and Easy and pleasant as their life at Paris a final adjustment of every thing except the was, it was, after all, only an idle dalliance bill. She went off in one of his carriages; and amiable triflimng; and Rebecca saw that her French bonne with her; the child by she rmust push Rawdon's fortune in their her side; the admirable landlord and landlaown country. She rnust get him a place or dy smiling farewell to her from the gate. appointment at home orin the colonies; and General Tufto was furious when he heard she determined to make a move upon En- she was gone, and Mrs. Brent furious with gland as soon as tue way could be cleared him for being furious; Lieutenaht Spooney for her. As a first step, she had made was cut to the heart; and the landlord got Crawley sell out of the Guards, and go on ready his best apartments previous to the half-pay. His function as aid-de-camp to return of the fascinatinglittle woman and her General Tufto had ceased previously. Re- husband. He serred the trunks which she becca laughed in all companies at that officer, left in his charge with the greatest care. at his toupee (which he mounted on coming They had been especially recommended to to Paris), at his waistband, at his false teeth, him by Madame Crawley. They were not, at his pretensions to be a lady-killer, above however, found to be particularly valuable all, and his absurd vanity in fancying every when opened some time after. woman whom he canile near was in love But before-she went to join her husband M 178 VANITY FAIR. in the lielgic capital, Mrs. Crawley made an supplied to Madame Cra;'iey: not until expedition into England, leaving behind her Monsieur Didelot frolm..ihe Boule ('Or in her little son upon the continent, under the the Palais Royal had asked half-a-dozen care of her French maid. times whether cette charmant miladi who The parting between Rebecca and the had bought watche' and bracelets of him little Rawdon did not cause either party was de retour. It is a fact that even the much pain. She had not, to say truth, seen poor gardener's wife, who had nursed much of the young gentleman since his madame's child, was never paid after the birth. After the amiable fashion of French first six months for that supply of the milk mothers, she had placed him out at nurse in of human kindness with which she had fura village in the neighborhood of Paris, where nished the lusty and healthy little Rawdon. little Rawdon passed the first months of his No, not even the nurse was paid-the life, not unhappily, with a numerous family Crawleys were in too great a hurry to of foster-brothers in wooden shoes. His remember their trifling debt to her. As for father would ride over many a time to see the landlord of the hotel, his curses against him here, and the elder Rawdon's paternal the.English nation were violent for the rest heart glowed to see him rosy and dirty, of his natural life. He asked all travelers shouting lustily, and happy in the making of whether they knew a certain Colonel Lor mud-pies under the superintendence of the Crawley-avec sa femme-une petite dame, gardener's wife, his nurse. tres spirituelle. " Ah, Mosieur!" he would Rebecca did not care much to go and see add —" ils m'ont affreusement vole." It was the son and heir. Once he spoiled a new melancholy to hear his accents as he spoke dove-colored pelisse of hers. He preferred of that catastrophe. his nurse's caresses to his mamma's, and Rebecca's object in her journey to Lonwhen finally he quitted that jolly nurse and don was to effect a kind of compromise with almost parent, he cried loudly for hours. her husband's numerous creditors, and by He was only consoled by his mother's offering them a dividend of ninepence or a promise that he should return to his nurse shilling in the pound, to secure a return for the next day; indeed, the nurse herself, him into his own country. It does not bewho probably would have bees pained at come us to trace the steps which she took the parting too, was told that the child would in the conduct of this most difficult negotiaimmediately be restored to her, and for some tion; but having shown them to their satistime awaited quite anxiously his return. faction, that the sum which she was emIn fact, our firiends may be said to have powered to offer was all her husband's availbeen among the first of that brood of hardy able capital, and having convinced them that English adventurers who have subsequently Colonel Crawley would prefer a perpetual invaded the Continent, and swindled in all retirement on the continent to a residence the capitals of Europe.. The respect in in this country with his debts unsettled; those happy days of 1817-18, was very having proved to them that there was no great, for the wealth and honor of Britons. possibility of money accruing to him friom They had not then learned, as I am told, other quarters, and no earthly chance of to haggle for bargains with the pertinacity their getting a larger dividend than that which now distinguishes then. The great which she was empowered to offer, she cities of Europe had not been as yet open to brought the colonel's creditors unanimously the enterprise of our rascals. And whereas, to accept her proposals, and purchased with there is now hardly a town of France or fifteen hundred pounds of ready money, Italy in which you shall not see some noble more than ten times that amount of debts. countryman of our own, with that happy Mrs. Crawley employed no lawyer in the swagger and insolence of demeanor which transaction. The matter was so simple, to we carry every where, swindling inn-land- have or to leave, as she justly observed, that lords, passing fictitious checks upon credu- she made the lawyers of the creditors themlous bankers, robbing coachmlakers of their selves do the business. And Mr. Lewis, repcarriages, goldsmiths of their trinkets, easy resenting Mr. Davids of Red Lion-square, travelers of their money at cards-even pub- and Mr. Moss, acting for Mr. Manasseh lic libraries of their books; —thirty years of Cursitor-street (chief creditors of the ago you needed but to be a Milor Anglais, colonel's), complimented his lady upon the traveling in a private carriage, and credit brilliant way in which she did business, and was at your hand wherever you chose to declared that there was no professional man seek it, and gentlemen, instead of cheating, who could beat her. were cheated. It was not for some weeks Rebecca received their congratulations after the Crawleys' departure that the land- with perfect modesty; ordered a bottle of lord of the hotel which they occupied dur- sherry and a bread cake to the little dingy ing their residence at Paris, found out the lodgings where she dwelt, while conducting losses which he had sustained: not until the business, to treat the enemy's lawyers Madame Marabou the milliner made re- shook hands with them at parting, in-excelpeated visits with her little bill for articles lent good humor, and returned straightway A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 179 to the continent, to rejoin her husband and that the ceremony had been clandestinely son, and acquaint the former with the glad performed some years back; although the news of his entire liberation. As for the news of Mr. Raggles's marriage was first latter, he had been considerably neglected brought to Miss Crawley by a little boy and during his mother's absence by'Mademoi- girl of seven and eight years of age, whose selle Genevieve, her French maid; for that continual presence in the kitchen had attractyoung woman, contracting an attachment for ed the attention of Miss Briggs. a soldier in the garrison of Calais, forgot her Mr. Raggies then retired and personally charge in the society of this militaire, and undertook the superintendence of the small little Rawdon very narrowly escaped drown- shop and the greens. He added milk and ing on Calais sands at this period, where cream, eggs and country fed pork to his the absent Genevieve had left and lost him. stores, contenting himself, while other reAfter a stay at Brussels, where they lived tired butlers were vending spirits in public in good fashion, with carriages and horses, houses, by dealing in the simplest country and giving prettylittle dinners at their hotel, produce. And having a good connection the colonel and his lady again quitted that city, among the butlers in the neighborhood, and from which slander pursued them as it did a snug back parlor where he and Mrs. Ragfrom Paris, and where it is said they left a gles received them, his milk, cream, and vast amiount of debt behind them. Indeed, eggs got to be adopted by many of the fiathis is the way in which gentlemen who ternity, and his profits increased every year. live upon nothing a year, make both ends Year after year he quietly and modestly meet. amassed money, and when at length that snug, From Brussels, Colonel and Mrs. Craw- and complete bachelor's residence at No. 201, ley came to London: and it is at their house Curzon-street, May Fair, lately the resiin Curzon-street, May Fair, that they really dence of the Honorable Frederick Deuceace, showed the skill which must be possessed gone abroad, with its rich and appropriate by thlose who would live on the resources furniture by the first makers, was brought above named. to the hammner, who should go in and purchase the lease and furniture of the house but Charles Raggles? A part of the money he borrowed, it is true, and at rather a high CHAPTER XXXVII. interest, firom a brother butler, but the chief part he paid down, and it was with no small pride that Mrs. Raggles found herself sleeplN the first place, and as a matter of the ing in a bed of carved mahogany, with silk greatest necessity, we are bound to describe curtains, with a prodigious cheval glass oppohow a house may be got for nothing a year. site to her, and a wardrobe which would conThese mansions are to be had either unfur- tain her, and Raggles, and all the family. nished, where, if you have credit with Of course they did not intend to occupy Messrs. Gillows or Bantings, you can get permanently an apartment so splendid. It them splendidlyarranged and decorated, en- was in order to let the house again that tirely according to your own fancy; or they Raggles purchased it. As soon as a tenant are to be let furnished; a less troublesome was found, he subsided into the green-gloand complicated arrangernent to most parties. cer's shop once more; but a happy thing it It was so that Crawley and his wife pre- was for him to walk out of that tenement ferred to hire their house. and into Curzon-street, and there survey his Before Mr. Bowls came to preside over house-his own house-with geraniums in Miss Crawley's house and cellar in Park the window and a carved bronze knocker. Lane, that lady had had for a butler, a Mr. The footman occasionally lounging at the Raggles, who was born on the family estate area railing, treated him with respect; the of Queen's Ci'awley, and indeed was a cook took her green stuff at his house and younger son of a gardener there. By good called him Mr. Landlord; and there was conduct, a handsome person and calves, and not one thing the tenants did, or one dish a grave demeanor, Raggles rose from the which they had for dinner, that Raggles knife-board to the foot-board of the carriage; might not know of, if he liked. from the foot-board to the butler's pantry. lie was a good man; good and happy. When he had been a certain number of years The house brought him in so handsome a at the head of Miss Crawley's establishment, yearly income, that he was determined to where he had had good wages, fat perqui- send his children to good schools, and acsites, and plenty of opportunities of saving, cordingly, regardless of expense, Charles he announced that he was about to contract was sent to boarding at Doctor Swishtail's, a matrimonial alliance with a late cook of Sugarcane Lodge, and little Matilda to Miss Miss Crawley's, who had subsisted in an Peckover's Laurentinumn House, Clapham. honorable manner by the exercise of a Raggles loved and adored the Crawley mangle, and the keeping of a small green family as the authors of all his prosperity in shop in the neighborhood. The truth is, life. He had a silhouette of his mistress in I8O VANITY FAIR. nis back shop, and a drawing of the porter's old legends, before a man goes to the devL lodge at Queen's Crawley, done by that himself, he sends plenty of other souls spinster herself in India ink and the only thither. addition he made to the decorations of the Rawdon and his wife generously gave their Curzon-street house was a print of Queen's patronage to all such of Miss Crawley's Crawley in Hampshire, the seat of Sir tradesmen and purveyors as chose to serve Watlpole Crawley, baronet, who was repre- them. Some were willing enough, especially sented in a gilded car drawn by six white the poor ones. It was wonderful to see the horses, and passing by a lake covered with pertinacity with which the washerwoman swans, and barges containing ladies in hoops, from Tooting brought the cart e7ery Saturand musicians with flags and periwigs. In- day, and her bills week after week. Mr. deed, Raggles thought there was no such Raggles himself had to supply the greenpalace in all the world, and no such august groceries. The bill for servants' porter at family. the Fortune of WCar public house is a curiAs luck would have it, Raggles's house in osity in the chronicles of beer. Every ser Curzon-street was to let when Rawdon and vant also was owed the greater part of his his wife returned to London. The colonel wages, and thus kept up perforce an inknew it and its owner quite well; the latter's terest in the house. Nobody in fact was connection with the Crawley family had been paid. Not the blacksmith who opened the kept up constantly, for Raggles helped Mr. lock; nor the glazier who mended the pane Bowls whenever Miss Crawley received -nor the jobber who let the carriage; nor friends. And the old man not only let his the groom who drove it; nor the butcher house to the colonel, but officiated as his who provided the leg of mutton-nor the butler whenever he had company; Mrs. coals which roasted it; nor the cook who Raggles operating in the kitchen below, and basted it; -nor the servants who eat it-and sending up dinners of which oldMiss Craw- this I am given to understand is not unfireley herself might have approved. This was quently the way in which people live elethe way, then, Crawley got his house for gantly on nothing a year. nothing: for though Raggles had to pay taxes In a little town such things can not be done, and rates, and the interest of the mortgage without remark. We know there the quanto the brother butler; and the insurance of tity of milk our neighbor takes, and espy the his life; and the charges for his children at joint or the fowls which are going in for his school; and the value of the meat and drink dinner. So, probably, 200 and 202 in Curwhich his own family-and for a time that zon-street might know what was going on in of Colonel Crawley too-consumed; and the house between them, the servants comthough the poor wretch was utterly ruined municating through the area-railings; but by the transaction, his children being flung Crawley and his wife and his friends did not on the streets, and himself driven into the know 200 and 202. When you came to 201 Fleet prison; yet somebody must pay even there was a hearty welcome, a kind smile, a for gentlemen who live for nothing a year- good dinner, and a jolly shake of the hand and so it was this unlucky Raggles was made fiorn the host and hostess there, just for all the representative of Colonel Crawley's de- the world, as if they had been undisputed fective capital. masters of three or four thousand a yearI wonder how many families are driven to and so they were, not in money, but in proroguery and to ruin by great practitioners in duce and labor-if they did not pay for the Crawley's way?-how many great noble- mutton, they had it: if they did not give bulmen rob their petty tradesmen, condescend lion in exchange for their wine, how should to swindle their poor retainers out of wretch- we know? Never was better claret at any e.d little surns, and cheat for a few shillings? man's table than at honest Rawdon's; dinWhen we read that a noble nobleman has ners more gay and neatly served. His drawleft for the continent, or that another noble ing-rooms were the prettiest, little, modest nobleman has an execution in his house- salon conceivable: they were decorated with and that one or other owe six or seven mil- the greatest taste, and a thousand knicklions, the defeat seems glorious even, and we knacks from Paris, by Rebecca: and when respect the victim in the-vastness of his ruin. she sate at her piano thrilling songs with a But who pities a poor barber who can't get lightsome heart, the stranger voted himself his money for powdering the footmen's heads in a little paradise of domestic comfort, and -or a poor-carpenter who has ruined him- agreed that if the husband was rather stupid, self by fixingup ornaments and pavilions for the wife was charming, and the dinners my lady's dejeune; or the poor devil of a the pleasantest in the world. tailor whom the steward patronizes, and who Rebecca's wit, cleverness, and flippancy, has pledged all he is worth, and more, to get made her speedily the vogue in London the liveries ready, which my lord has done amlong a certain class. You saw demure him the honor to bespeak? —When the great chariots at her door, out of which stepped house tumbles down, these miserable wretch- very great people. You beheld herl carriage es fall under it unnoticed' as they say in the in the park, surrounded by dandies of note. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 181 The little box in the third tier of the Opera when they bmet in public places. It was was crowded with heads constantly chang- curious to see how the great ladies forgot ing; but it must be confessed that the ladies her, and no doubt not altogether a pleasant held aloof from ber, and their doors were study to Rebecca. When Lady Bareacres shut to our' little adventurer. met her in the waiting-room at the Opera, With regard t the world of female fashion she gathered her daughters about her as if and its customs, the present writer of course they would be contaminated by a touch of can only speak at second hand. A man can Becky, and retreating a step or two, placed no more penetrate or understand those mys- herself in front of them, and stared at her teries than he can know what the ladies talk little enemy. To stare Becky out of counabout when they go up-stairs after dinner. tenance required a severer glance than even It is only by inquiry and perseverance, that the frigid old Bareacres could shoot out of one sometimes gets hints of those secrets- her dismal eyes. When Lady de la Mole, and by a similar diligence every person who who had ridden a score of times by Bbcky's treads the Pall Mall pavement and frequents side at Brussels, met Mrs. Crawley's open the clubs of this metropolis, knows, either carriage in Hyde Park, her ladyship was through his own experience or through some quite blind, and could not in the least recogacquaintance with whom he plays at billiards nize her former friend. Even Mrs. Blenkor shares the joint, something about the gen- insop, the banker's wife, cut her at church. teel world of London, and how, as there are Becky went regularly to church now; it men (such as Rawdon Crawley, whose po- was edifying to see her enter there with sition we mentioned before), who cut a good Rawdon by her side, carrying a couple figure to the eyes of the ignorant world and of large gilt prayer books, and afterward to the apprentices in the Park, who behold going through the ceremony with the gravthem consorting with the most notorious est resignation. dandies there, so their are ladies, who may Rnawdon at first felt very acutely the be called men's women, being welcomed en- slights which were passed upon his wife, and tirely by all the gentlemen, and cut or slighted was inclined to be gloomy and savage. He by all their wives. Mrs. Firebrace is of this talked of calling out the husbands or brothers sort; the lady with the beautiful fair ringlets of every one of the insolent women who whom you see every day in Hyde Park, sur- did not pay a proper respect to his wife; rounded by the greatest and most famous and it was only by the strongest commands dandies of this empire. Mrs. Rockwood is and entreaties on her part, that he was another, whose parties are announced labor- brought into keeping a decent behavior. iously in the fashionable newspapers, and " You can't shoot me into society," she with whom you see- that all sorts of embas- said good-naturedly. " Remember, my dear, sadors and great noblemen dine; and many that I was but a governess, and you, you more uight be mentioned had they to do poor, silly old man, have the worst reputawith the history at present in hand. But tion for debt, and dice, and all sorts of while simple folks who are out of the world, wickedness. We shall get quite as many ol country people with a taste for the genteel, friends as we want by and by, and in the behold these ladies in their seeming glory in mean while you must be a good boy, and public places, or envy them from afar off, obey your schoolmistress in every thing she persons who are better instructed could in- tells you to do. When we heard that your form them that these envied ladies have no aunt had left almost every thing to Pitt-and more chance of establishing themselves in his wife, do you remember what a rage you "' society," than the benighted squire's wife were in? You would have told all Paris, in Somersetshire, who reads of their doings if I had not made you keep your temper, in the Morning Post. Men living about and where would you have been now?-in London are aware of these awful tiuths. prison at St. P61lagie for debt, and not esYou hear how pitilessly many ladies of seem- tablished in London in a handsome house, ing rank and wealth are excluded from this with every comfort about you-you were 4" society." The fr'antic efforts which they in such a fury, you were ready to murder make to enter this circle, the meanness to your brother, you wicked Cain you, and which they submit, the insults which they what good would have come of remaining undergo, are matters of wonder to those who angry? All the rage in the world won't take human or womankind for a study; and get us your aunt's money; and it is much the pursuit of fashion under difficulties would better that we should be firiends with your be a fine theme for any very great person who brother's family than enemies, as those foolhad the wit, the leisure, and the knowledge ish Butes are. When your father dies, of the English language necessary for the Queen's Crawley will be a pleasant house compiling of such a history. for you and me to pass the winter in. If Now the few female acquaintances whom we are ruined, you can carve and take Mrs. Crawley had known abroad, not only charge of the stable, and I can be a governdeclined to visit her when she came to this ess to Lady Jane's children. Ruined! side of the channel, but cut her severely fiddlededee! I will get you a good place 182 VANITY FAIR. before that; or Pitt and his little boy will whenever the latter should come to Enr die, and we will be Sir Rawdon and my gland and choose to take it; andA, thanking lady. While there is life, there is hope, Mrs. Crawley lor her good opinion of him my dear, and I intend to make a man of self and Lady Jane, he graciously proyou yet. Who sold your horses for you? nounced his willingness to take any opporWho paid your debts for you?" Rawdon tunity to serve her little boy. was obliged to confess that he owed all these Thus an almost reconciliation was brought benefits to his wife, and to trust himself to about between the brothers. When Reher guidance for the future. becca came to town Pitt and his wife were Indeed, when Miss Crawley quitted the not in London. Many a time she drove by world, and that money oir which all her the old door in Park-lane to see whether relatives had been fighting so eagerly was they had taken possession of Miss Crawfinally left to Pitt, Bute Crawley, who ley's house there. But the new family did found that only five thousand~ pounds had not make its appearance; it was only through been left to him instead of the twenty upon Raggles that she heard of their movements which he calculated, was in such a fury at -how Miss Crawley's domestics had been his disappointment, that he vented it in dismissed with decent gratuities, and how savage abuse upon his nephew; and the Mr. Pitt had only once made his appearance quarrel always rankling between them end- in London, when he stopped for a few ed in an utter breach of intercourse. Raw- days at the house, did business with his don Crawley's conduct, on the other hand, lawyers there, and sold off all Miss Crawwho got but a hundred pounds, was such as ley's French novels to a bookseller out of to astonish his brother and delight his sister- Bond-street. Becky had reasons of her own in-law, who was disposed to look kindly which caused her to long for the arrival of upon all the members of her husband's her new relation. " When Lady Jane family. He wrote to his brother a very comes," thought she, "she shall be my fiank, manly, good-humored letter from sponsor in London society; and as for the Paris. He was aware, he said, that by his women! bah!-the women will ask me own marriage he had forfeited his aunt's when they find the men want to see me." favor; and though he did'not disguise his disappointment that she should have been so An article as necessary to a lady in this entirely relentless toward him, he was glad position as her brougham or her bouquet,' is that the money was still kept in their branch her companion. I have always admired the of the family, and heartily congratulated way in which the tender creatures, who his brother on his good fortune. He sent can not exist without sympathy, hire an his affectionate remembrances to his sister, exceedingly plain friend of their own sex and hoped to have her good-will for Mrs. fiom whom'they are almost inseparable. Crawley; and the letter concluded with a The sight of that inevitable woman in her postscript to Pitt in the latter lady's own faded gown seated behind her dear friend hand-writing. She, too, begged to join in in the operarbox, or occupying the back her husband's congratulations. She should seat of the barouche, is always a wholeever remember Mr. Crawley's kindness to some and moral one to me, as jolly a reher in early days when she was a friendless nminder as that of the Death's-head which orphan; the instructress of his little sisters, figured in the repasts of Egyptian boninwhose welfare she still took the tenderest vivants, a strange sardonic memorial of interest. She wished him every happiness Vanity Fair. What?-even battered; brain his married life, and, asking his permis- zen, beautiful, conscienceless, heartless Mrs. sion to offer her remembrances to Lady Firebrace, whose father died of her shame: Jane (of whose goodness all the world in- even lovely, daring, Mrs. Mantrap, who will formed her), she hoped that one day she ride at any fence which any man in England might be allowed to present her little boy to will take, and who drives her grays in the his uncle and aunt, and begged to bespeak Park, while her mother keeps a huxter's for him their good-will and protection. stall in Bath still;-even those who are so Pitt Crawley received this letter very bold, one might fancy they could face any graciously — more graciously than Miss thing; dare not face the world without a Crawley had received some of Rebecca's female fiiend. They must have some body previous compositions in Rawdon's hand- to cling to, the affectionate creatures! And writing; and as for Lady Jane, she was so you will hardly see them in any public place charmed with the letter, that she expected without a shabby companion in a dyed silk, her husband would instantly divide her sitting somewhere in the shade close behind aunt's legacy into equal portions, and send them. off one-half to his brother at Paris. "Rawdon," said Becky, very late one To her ladyship's surprise, however, Pitt night as a party of gentlemen were seated declined to accommodate his brother with a round her crackling drawing-room file (for check for thirty thousand pounds. But he the men came to her house to finish tho made Rawdon a handsome offer of his hand night; and she had ice and coffee for them,s A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 183 the best in London): "I must have a sheep- " The shepherd is too fond of playing at dog." cards and going to his lubs," answered "A what?" said Rawdon, looking up from Becky, laughing. an ecarte table. "'Gad, what a debaucher Corydon!" said "A sheep-dog," said young Lord South- my lord -" what a mouth fb7r a pipe!" down. "' My dear Mrs. Crawley, what a "I take your three to t,3;" here said fancy! WVhy not have a Danish dog? I Rawdon, at the card-table. know of one as big as a camel-leopard, by "Hark at Melibeus," snarled the noble Jove. It would almost pull your brougham. marquis; "i he's pastorally occupi't?Atoo; he's Or a Persian gray-hound, eh? (I propose, shearing a Southdown. What an innocent if you please); or a little pug that would go mutton, hey? Damme, what` a snowy into one of Lord Steyne's snuff-boxes? fleece!" There's a man at Bayswater got one with iRebecca's eyes shot out glearns of scornful such a nose that you might (I mark the humor. " My lord," she said, " you are a king and play), that you might hang your knight of the Order." He had the collar hat on it." round his neck, indeed-a gift of the restored "I mark the trick," Rawdon gravely said. Princes of Spain. He attended to his game commonly, and Lord Steyne in early li-fe had been notodidn't much meddle with the conversation rious for his daring and his success at play. except when it was about horses and betting. He had sat up two days and two nights with " What can you want with a shepherd's Mr. Fox at hazard. Hie had won money of dog?" the lively little Southdown continued. the most august personages of the realm: "I mean a moral shepherd's dog," said he had won his rnarquisate, it was said, at Becky, laughing, and looking up at Lord the gaming-table; but he did not like an alSteyne. lusion to those by-gonefredaines. Rebecca "What the devil's that?" said his lord- saw the scowl gathering over his heavy brow. ship. She rose up from her sofa, and went and "A dog to keep the wolves off me," Re- took his coffee cup out of his hand, with a becca continued. "' A companion." little courtesy. "Yes," she said, "I must " Dear little innocent lamb, you want ofe," get a watch-dog. But he won't bark at you." said the marquis; and his jaw thrust out, And, going into the other drawing-room, she and he began to grin hideously, his little eyes sate down to the piano, and began to sing leering toward Rebecca. little French songs in such a charming, thrillThe great Lord Steyne was standing by ing voice, that the mollified nobleman speedthe fire sipping coffee. The fire crackled ily followed her into that chamber, and might and blazed pleasantly. There was a score be seen nodding his head and bowing time of candles sparkling round the mantel-piece, over her. in all sorts of quaint sconces, of gilt and Rawdon and his friend meanwhile played bronze and porcelain. They lighted up ccarte until they had enough. The colonel R.ebecca's figure to admiration, as she sate won; but, say that he won ever so much on a sofa covered with a pattern of gaudy and often, nights like these, which occurred flowers. She was in a pink dress, that looked many times in the week-his wife having all as fresh as a rose; her dazzling white arms the talk and all the admiration, and he sitand shoulders were half covered with a thin ting silent without the circle, not comprehazy scarf through which they sparkled; hending a word of the jokes, the allusions, her hair hung in curls round her neck; one the mystical language within-must have of her little feet peeped out from the fresh been rather wearisome to the ex-dragoon. crisp folds of the silk; the prettiest little foot "How is Mrs. Crawley's husband," Lord in the prettiest little sandal in the finest silk Steyne used to say to him by way of a good stocking in the world. day when they met: and indeed, that was The candles lighted up Lord Steyne's now his avocation in life. He was Colonel shining bald head, which was fringed with Crawley no more. He was Mrs. Crawley's red hair. He had thick bushy eyebrows, husband. with little twinkling bloodshot eyes, surrounded by a thousand wrinkles. His jaw About the little Rawdon, if nothing has was underhung, and when he laughed, two been said all this while, it is because he is white buck-teeth protruded themselves and hidden up-stairs in a garret somewhere, or glistened savagely in the midst of the grin. has crawled below into the kitchen for comnHe had been dining with royal personages, panionship. His mother scarcely ever took and wore his garter and ribbon. A short notice of him. He passed the days with his man was his lordship, broad-chested, and French bonne as long as that domestic rebow-legged, but proud of the fineness of his mained in Mr. Crawley's family, and when foot. and ancle, and always caressing his the Frenchwoman went away, the little felgarter-knee. low howling in the loneliness of the night, "And so the shepherd is not enough," had compassion taken on him by a housesaid he, " to defend his lambkin?" maid, who took him out of his solitary nurse 184 VANITY FAIR. ry into her bed in the garret hard by, and Sometimes-once or twice in a week — comforted him. that lady visited the upper regions in which Rebecca, nm-m L'ord Steyne, and one or the child lived. She catne like a vivified two more werl in the drawing-room taking figure out of the Miagasin des Modestea after the Opt ra, when this shouting was blandly smiling in the most beautiful new heard overhe- a. "It's my cherub crying clothes, and little gloves and boots. Wonfor his nursc she said. She did not offer derful scarfs, laces, and jewels, glittered to move to go and see the child. "Don't agi- about her. She had always a new bonnet tate yourf elings by going to look for him," on: and flowers bloomed perpetually in it said Lord Steyne, sardonically. " Bah!" or else magnificent curling ostrich feathers, replied the other, with a sort of blush, "he'll soft and snowy as Camellias. She nodded cry himself to sleep;" and they fell to talk- twice or thrice patsronizingly to the little boy, ing about the Opera. who looked up from his dinner or from the Rawdon had stolen off though, to look pictures of soldiers he was painting. When after his son and heir; and came back to the she left the room, an odor of rose, or some company when he found that honest Dolly other magical fragrance, lingered about the was consoling the child. The colonel's nursery. She was an unearthly being in his dressing-lroom was in those upper regions. eyes, superior to his father-to all the world: He used to see the boy there in private. to be worshiped and admired at a distance. They had interviews together every morn- To drive with that lady in the carriage was ing when he shaved; Rawdon minor sitting an awful rite: he sate up in the back seat, on a box by his father's side and watching and did not dare to speak: he gazed with all the operation with never ceasing pleasure. his eyes at the beautifully dressed princess He and the sire were great friends. The opposite to him. Gentlemen on splendid father would bring him sweetmeats fiom prancing horses came up, and smiled and the dessert, and hide them in a certain old talked with her. How her eyes beamed epaulet box, where the child went to seek upon all of them! Her hand used to quiver them, and laughed with joy on discovering and wave gracefully as they passed. When the treasure: laughed, but not too loud; for he went out with her he had his new red mamma was below asleep, and must not be dress on. His old brown holland was good disturbed. She did not go to rest till very enough when he stayed at home. Some late, and seldom rose till after noon. times, when she was away, and Dolly his Rawdon bought the boy plenty of picture- imaid was making her bed, he came into his books, and crammed his nursery with toys. mother's room. It was as the abode of a Its walls were covered with pictures pasted fairy to him-a mystic chamber of splendor up by the father's own hand, and purchased and delights. There in the wardrobe hung by him for ready money. When he was those wonderful robes-pink, and blue, and off duty with Mrs. Rawdon in the Park, he many-tinted. There was the jewel-case, would sit up here, passing hours with the silver-clasped: and the mystic bronze hand boy; who rode on his chest, who pulled his on the dressing-table, glistening all over with great mustaches as if they were driving- a hundred rings. There was the chevalreins, and spent days with him in indefatiga- glass, that miracle of art, in which he could ble gambols. The room was a low room, just see his own wondering head, and the and once, when the child was not five years reflection of Dolly (queerly distorted, and as old, his father, who was tossing him wildly if up in the ceiling), plumping and patting up in his arms, hit the poor little chaps the pillows of the bed. 0, thou poor lonely, skull so violently against the ceiling that he little, benighted boy! Mother is the name almost dropped the child, so terrified was for God in the lips and hearts of little chilhe at the disaster. dren; and here was one who was worshipRawdon minor had- made up his face for ing a stone! a tremendous howl-the severity of the Now Rawdon Crawley, rascal as the blow indeed authorized that indulgence: but colonel was, had certain manly tendencies just as he was going to begin, the father in- of affection in his heart, and could love a terposed. child and a woman still. For Rawdn mi"For God's sake, Rawdy, don't wake nor he had a great secret tenderness then, mamma," he cried. And the child looking which did not escape Rebecca, though she in a very hard and piteous way at his father, did not talk about it to her husband. It did bit his lips, clenched his hands, and didn't not annoy her: she was too good-natured. cry a bit. Rawdon told that story at the It only increased her scorn for him. He felt clubs, at the mess, to every body in town. somehow ashamed of this paternal softness, "By gad, sir," he exclaimed to the public and hid it from his wife-only indulging in in general, "what a good plucked one that it when alone with the boy. boy of mine is-what a trump he is! I half He used to take him out of mornings, sent his head through she ceiling, by gad, when they would go to the stables together and he wouldn't cry for fear of disturbing his and to the Park. Little Lord Southdown, mother." the best-natured of men, who would make A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 185 you a present of the hat from his head, and'i Good morning, your honor," said Clink, whose main occupation in life was to buy in reply to the "How-do, Clink?" of the knick-knacks that he might give them away colonel. "This ere young gentleman is afterward, bought the little chap a pony about the little colonel's age, sirl," continued not much bigger than a large rat, the donor the corporal. said; and on this little black Shetland pigmy " His father was a Waterloo man, too," young Rawdon's great father was pleased said the old gentleman, who carried the boy. to mount the boy, and to walk by his side "Wasn't he, Georgy?" in the Park. It pleased him to see his old " Yes," said Georgy. He and the little quarters, and his old fellow-guardsmen at chap on the pony were looking at each other Knightsbridge: he had begun to think of with all their might-solemnly scanning each his bachelorhood with something like regret. other as children do. The old troopers were glad to recognize "In a line regiment," Clink said, with a their ancient officer, and dandle the little patronizing air. colonel. Colonel Crawley found dining at "He was a captain in the -th regiment,' the mess with his brother-officers very said the old gentleman rather pompously pleasant. " Hang it, I ain't clever enough " Captain George Osborne, sir-perhapt for her-I know it. She won't miss me," you knew him. He died the death of a hero he used to say: and he was right: his wife sir, fighting against the Corsican tyrant." did not miss him. Colonel Crawley blushed quite red. "I Rebecca was fond of her husband. She knew him very well, sir," he said, " and hit was always perfectly good-humored and wife, his dear little wife, sir-how is she?" kind to him. She did not even show her " She is my daughter, sir," said the old scorn much for him; perhaps she liked him gentleman, putting down tile boy, and taking the better for being a fool. He was her out a carl with great solemnity, which he upper servant and maitre d' hotel. He went handed to the co,'ne:. On it was writtenon her errands: obeyed her orders without Mr. Sedlejr, Sole Agent for the Black question: drove in the carriage in the ring Diamond and Anti-Cinder Coal Association, with her without repining; took her to the Bunker's Wharf, Thames-street, and Anna Opera-box; solaced himself at his club dur- Maria Cottages, Fulham Road West. ing the performance, and came punctually Little Georgy went up and looked at the back to fetch her when due. He would Shetland pony. have liked her to be a little fonder of the 1" Should you like to have a ride?" said boy: but even to that he reconciled himself. Rawdon minor firom th- saddle. " Hang it, you know she's so clever," he " Yes," said Georgy The colonel, who said, "and I'm not literary, and that, you had been looking at hiun with some interest, know. For, as we have said before, it re- took up the child and put him on the pony quires no great wisdom to be able to win at behind Rawdon minor. cards and billiards, and Rawdon made no 1" Take hold of him Georgy," he saidpretensions to any other sort of skill. " take my little Loy round the waist-his When the companion came, his domestic name is Rawdon." And both the children duties became very light. His wife encour- began to laugh. aged him to dine abroad: she would let him " You won't see a prettier pair, I th;nk, off duty at the Opera. "Don't stay and this summer's day, sir," said the goodstupefy yourself at home to-night, my dear," natured corporal; and the colonel, the cor. she would say. "' Some men are coming who poral, and old Mr. Sedley with his umbrella will only bore you. I would not ask them, walked by the side of the children. but you know it's for your good, and now I have a sheep-dog, I need not be afraid to be alone.","A sheep-dog-a companion! Becky CHAPTER XXXVIII. Sharp with a companion! Isn't it good fun?" thought Mrs. Crawley to herself. The notion tickled hugely her sense of humor. WE must suppose little George Osborne has ridden from Knightsbridge toward FulOne Sunday morning, as Rawdon Craw- ham, and will stop and make inquiries at ley, his little son, and the pony were taking that village regarding some friends whom their accustomed walk in the Park, they w0 have left there. How is AMrs. Amelia passed by an old acquaintance of the colo- after the storm of Waterloo? Is she living nel's, Corporal Clink, of the regiment, who and thriving? What has come of Major was in conversation with a friend, an old Dobbin, whose cab was always hankering gentleman, who held a boy in his arms about her premises? and are there any about the age of little Rawdon. This other news of the collector of Boggley WVollah? youngster had seized hold of the Waterloo The/facts concerning the latter are briefly medal which the corporal wore, and was these: examining it w'th delight. Our worthy fat friend Joseph Sedley re 186 VANITY FAIR. turned to India not long after his escape from of the nation. It was wonderful to hear Brussels. Either his furlough was up, or him talk about millions, and agios, and dishe dreaded to meet any witnesses of his counts, and what Rothschild was doing, and Waterloo flight. However it might be, he Baring Brothers. He talked of such vast went back to his duties in Bengal, very soon sums that the gentlemen of the club (the after Napoleon had taken up his residence apothecary, the undertaker, the great carat Saint Helena, where Jos saw the ex- penter and builder, the parish.clerk, who empero-r. To hear Mr. Sedley talk on board was allowed to come stealthily, and Mr. ship you would have supposed that it was Clapp, our old acquaintance) respected the not the first time he and the Corsican had old gentleman. "I was better off once, met, and that the civilian had bearded the sir," he did not fail to tell every body who French general at Mount St. John. He "used the room." " My son, sir, is at this * had a thousand anecdotes about the famous minute chief magistrate of Ramgunge in the battles; he knew the position of every reg- Presidency of Bengal, and touching his four iment, and the loss which each had incurred. thousand rupees per mensem. My daughter He did not deny that he had been concerned might be a colonel's lady if she liked. I in those victories-that he had been with the might draw upon my son, the first magisarmy, and carried dispatches for the Duke of trate, sir, for two thousand pound to-morrow, Wellington. And he described what the and Alexander would cash my bill, down sir, duke did and said on every conceivable mo- down on the counter, sir. But the Sedleys ment of the day of Waterloo, with such an were always a proud family." You and I, accurate knowledge of his grace's sentiments my dear reader, may drop into this condition and proceedings, that it was clear he must one day: for have not many of our friends have been by the conqueror's side through- attained it? Our luck may fail: our powers out the day; though, as a non-combatant, forsake us: our place on the boards be taken his name was not mentioned in the public by better and younger mimes-the chance documents relative to the battle. Perhaps of life roll away and leave us shattered and he actually worked himself up to believe stranded. Then men will walk across the that he had been engaged with the army; road when they meet you-or, worse still, certain it is that he made a prodigious sen- hold you out a couple of fingers and patronize sation for some time at Calcutta, and was you in a pitying way-then you will know, called Waterloo Sedley during the whole of as soon as your back is turned, that your his subsequent stay in Bengal. friend begins with a " Poor devil, what imThe bills which Jos had given for the pur- prudences he has committed, what chances chase of those unlucky horses were paid that chap has thrown away!" Well, well without question by him and his agents. -a carriage and three thoi'sand a year is He never was heard to allude to the bar- not the summit of reward nor the, end of gain, and nobody knows for a certainty what God's judgment of men. If quacks prosper became of the horses, or how he got rid of as often as they go to the wall-if zanies them, or of Isidor, his Belgian servant, who succeed and knaves arrive at fortune, and, sold a gray horse very like the one which vice versa, sharing ill-luck and prosperity Jos rode at Valenciennes sometime during for all the world like the ablest and most the autumn of 1815. honest among us-I say, brother, the gifts -Jos's London agents had orders to pay and pleasures of Vanity Fair can not be held one hundred and twenty pounds yearly to of any great account, and that it is probable his parents at Fulham. It was the chief.. but we are wandering out of the dosupport of the old couple;l for Mr. Sedley's main of the story. speculations in life subsequent to his bank- Had Mrs. Sedley been a woman of energy, ruptcy did not by any means retrieve the she would have exerted it after her husbroken old gentleman's fortune. He tried band's ruin, and, occupying a large house, to be a wine-merchant, a coal-merchant, a would have taken in boarders. The broken commission-lottery agent, &c., &c. He Sedley would have acted well as the boardsent round prospectuses to his friends when- ing-house landlady's husband; the Munoz ever he took a new trade, and ordered a new of private life; the titular lord and master: brass plate for the door, and talked pomp- the carver, house-steward, and humble husously about making his fortune still. But band of the occupier of the dingy throne. Fortune never came back to the feeble and I have seen men of good brains and breedstricken old man. One by one his friends ing, and of good hopes and vigor once, who dropped off, and were weary of buying dear feasted squires and kept hunters in their coals and bad wine firom him; and there youth, meekly cutting up legs of mutton for was only his wife in all the world who fan- rancorous old harridans, and pretending to cied; when he tottered off to the city of a preside over their dreary tables-but Mrs. morning, that he was still doing any business Sedley, we say, had not spirit enough to there. At evening he crawled slowlyback; bustle about for "a few select inmates to and he used to go of nights to a little club at join a cheerful musical family," such as one a tavern, where he disposed of the finances reads of in the Times. She was content to A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 187 lie on the shore where fortune had stranded I there was a sort of'coolness about this boy, her-and you could see that the career of and a secret jealousy-for one evening, in this old couple was over. George's very early days, Amelia, who had I don't think they were unhappy. Per- been seated at work in their little parlor haps they were a little prouder in their scarcely remarking that the old lady had downfall than in their prosperity. Mrs. Sed- quitted the room,; ran up stairs instinctively ley was always a great person for her land- to the nursery at the cries of the child, who lady, Mrs. Clapp, when she descended and had been asleep until that mom ent-and passed many hours with her in the basement there found Mrs. Sedley in the act of suror ornamented kitchen. The Irish maid reptitiously administering Daffy's Elixir to Betty Flanagan's bonnets and ribbons, her the infant. Amelia, the gentlest and sweetsauciness, her idleness, her reckless prodi- est of every-day mortals, when she found gality of kitchen candles, her consumption this meddling with her maternal authority, of tea and sugar, and so forth, occupied and thrilled and trembled all over with anger. amused the old lady almost as much as the Her cheeks, ordinarily pale, now flushed doings of her former household, when she up, until they were as red as they used to had Sambo, and the coachman, and a groom, be when she was a child of twelve years and a footboy, and a housekeeper with a old. She seized the baby out of her mothregiment of femnale domestics-her former er's arms, and then grasped a.t the bottle, household, about which the good lady talked leaving the old lady gaping at her, furious, a hundred times a day. And besides Betty and holding the guilty tea-spoon. Flanagan, M1s. Sedley had all the maids-of- Amelia flung the bottle crashing into the all-work in the street to superintend. She fire-place. "1 will not have baby poisoned, knew how each tenant of the cottages paid mamma," cried Emmy, rocking the infant or owed his little rent. She stepped aside about violently with both her arms round when Mrs. Rougemont the actress passed him, and turning with flashing eyes at her with her dubious fahmily. She flung up her mother. head when Mrs. Pestler, the apothecary's "Poisoned, Amelia!" said the old lady; lady, drove by in her husband's professional " this language to me?" one-horse chaise. She had colloquies with " He shall not have any medicine but the green-grocer about the pennorth of tur- that which Mr. Pestler sends for him. He nips which Mr. Sedley loved: she kept an told me that Daffy's Elixir was poison." eye upon the milkman, and the baker's boy: "Very good: you think I'm a murderess, and made visitations to the butcher, who then," replied Mrs. Sedley. "This is the sold hundreds of oxen very likely with less language you use to your mother. I have ado than was made about Mrs. Sedley's loin met with misfortunes: I have sunk low in of mutton: and she counted the potatoes life: I have kept my carriage, and now under the joint on Sundays, on which days, walk on foot: but I did not know I was a dressed in her best, she went to church murderess before, and thank you' for the twice and read Blair's Sermon's in the news." evening. "Mamma," said the poor girl, who was On that day, for "business" prevented him always ready for tears, "you'shouldn't be on week days from taking such pleasure, it hard upon me. I-I didn't mean —1 mean, was old Sedley's delight to take out his little I did not wish to say you would do any grandson Georgy to the neighboring parks or wrong to this dear child; only-" Kensington Gardens, to see the soldiers, or " O, no, my love —only that I was a murto feed the ducks. Georgy loved the red- deress; in which case, I had better go to the coats, and his grandpapa told him how his Old Bailey. Though I didn't poison you, father had been a famous soldier, and intro- when you were a child; but gave you the duced him to many sergeants and others with best of education, and the most expensive Waterloo medals on their breasts to whom masters money could procure. Yes; I've the old grandfather pompously presented the nursed five children, and buried three; and child as the son of Captain Osborne of the the one I loved the best of all, and tended -th, who died gloriously on the glorious through croup, and teething, and measles, eighteenth. He has been known to treat and hooping-cough, and brought up with some of those non-commissioned gentlemen foreign masters, regardless of expense, and to a glass of porter, and, indeed, in their first with accomplishments at Minerva HouseSunday Nwalks was disposed to spoil little which I never had when I was a girl-when Georgy, sadly gorging the boy with apples I was too glad to honor my father and mothand parliament, to the detriment of his health er, that I might live long in the land, and to -until Amelia declared that George should be useful, and not to mope all day in my never go out with his grandpapa, unless the room and act the fine lady-says I'm a murlatter promised solemnly, and on his honor, deress. Ah, Mrs. Osborne! may you nevnot to give the child any cakes, lollipops, or er nourish a viper in your bosom, that's my stall produce whatever. prayer." Between Mrs. Sedley and her daughter "Mamma, mamma!" cried the bewilder 188 VANITY FAIR. ed girl: and the child in her arms set up a wondering child; much more than she ever frantic chorus of shouts. had done to George himself, or to any con"A murderess, indeed! Go down on fidante of her youth. To her parents she your knees and pray to God to cleanse your never talked about this matter: shrinking wicked, ungrateful heart, Amelia, and may from baring her heart to them. Little He forgive you as I do;" and Mrs. Sedley George very likely could understand no bettossed out of the room, hissing out the word ter than they; but into his ears she poured poison, once more, and so ending her charit- her sentimental secrets unreservedly, and able benediction. into his only. The very joy of this woman Till the termination of her natural life, this was a sort of grief, or so tender, at least, breach between Mrs. Sedley and her daugh- that its expression was tears. Her sensibil. ter was never thoroughly mended. The ities were so weak and tremulous, that perquarrel gave the elder lady numberless ad- haps they ought not to be talked about in a vantages which she did not fail to turn to ac- book. I was told by Dr. Pestler (now a count with female ingenuity and persever- most flourishing lady's physician, with a ance. For instance, she scarcely spoke to- sumptuous dark-green carriage, a prospect Amelia for many weeks afterward. She of speedy knighthood, and a house in Manwarned the domestics not to touch the child, chester-square), that her grief at weaning as Mrs. Osborne might be offended. She the child was a sight that would have unasked her daughter to see and satisfy herself manned a Herod. Hie was very soft-hearted that there was no poison prepared in the many years ago, and his wife was mortally little daily messes that were concocted for jealous of Mrs. Amelia, then and long afterGeorgy. When neighbors asked after the ward. boy's health, she referred them pointedly to Perhaps the doctor's lady had good reason Mrs. Osborne. She never ventured to ask for her jealousy: most women shared it, of whether the baby was well or not. She those who formed the small circle of Amewould not touch the child, although he was lia's acquaintance, and were quite angry at her grandson, and own precious darling, for the enthusiasm with which the other sex she was not used to children, and might kill regarded her. For almost all men who it. And whenever Mr. Pestler came upop came near her loved her; though no doubt his healing inquisition, she received the doec- they would be at a loss to tell you why. tor with such a sarcastic and scornful de- She was not brilliant, nor witty, nor wise meanor, as made the surgeon declare that overmuch, nor extraordinarily handsome. not Lady Thistlewood herself, whom he But wherever she went she touched and had the honor of attending professionally, charmed every one of the male sex, as invacould give herself greater airs than old Mrs. riably as she awakened the scorn and inSedley, from whom he never took a fee. credulity of her own sisterhood. I think it And very likely Emmy was jealous too, upon was her weakness which was her principal her own part, as what mother is not, of those charm-a kind of sweet submission and softwho would manage her children for her, or ness, which seemed to appeal to each man become candidates for the first place in their she met for his sympathy and protection. affections? It is certain that when any body We have seen how in the regiment, though nursed the child, she was uneasy, and that she spoke but to few of George's comrades she would no more allow Mrs. Clapp or the there, all the swords of the young fellows at domestic to dress or tend him, than she the mess-table would have leaped from their would have let them wash her husband's scabbards to fight round her: and so it was miniature which hung up over her little bed; in the little narrow lodging-house and circle the same little bed fromn which the poor girl of Fulham, she interested and pleased every had gone to his-and to which she retired body. If she had been Mrs. Mango hernow'for many long, silent, tearful, but happy self, of the great house of Mango, Plantain years. & Co., Crutched Friars, and the magnifiIn this room was all Amelia's heart and cent proprietress of the Pineries, Fulham, treasure. Here it was that she tended her who gave summer dcjeines frequented by boy, and watched him through the many ills dukes and earls, and drove about the parish of childhood, with a constant passion of love. with magnificent yellow liveries and bay The elder George returned in him some- horses, such as the royal stables at Kensinghow, only improved, and as if come back ton themselves could not turn out-I say, from heaven. In a hundred little tones, had she been Mrs. Mango herself, or her looks, and movements. the child was so like son's wife, Lady Mary Mango (daughter of his father, that the widow's heart thrilled the Earl of Castlemouldy, who condescendas she held him to it; and he would often ed to marry the head of the firm), the ask the cause of her tears. It was because tradesmen of the neighborhood could not pay of his likeness to his father, she did not her more honor than they invariably show scruple to tell him. She talked constantly ed to the gentle young widow, when she to him. about this dead father, and spoke of passed by their doors, or made her humble her love for George to the innocent and purchases at their shoes. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 189 Thus it was not only Mr. Pestler, the and the favorite attendant of the.Reine des medical man, but Mr. Linton, the young as- Amours. sistant, who doctored the servant maids and Instances might be multiplied of this easily small tradesmen, and might be seen any day gained and unconscious popularity. Did not reading the Times in the surgery, who open- Mr. Binny, the mild and genteel curate of ly declared himself the slave of Mrs. Os- the districtchapel, which the family attended, borne. He was a personable young gentle- call assiduously upon the widow, dandle the man, more welcome at Mrs. Sedley's lodg- little boy on his knee, and offer to teach him ings than his principal; and if any thing Latin, to the anger of the elderly virgin, his went wrong with Georgy, he would drop in sister, who kept house for him? " There twice or thrice in the day, to see the little is nothing in her, Beilby," the latter lady chap, and without so much as the thought would say. "' When she comes to tea here of a fee. He would abstract lozenges, tam- she does not speak a word during the whole arinds, and otherproduce fiom the surgery- evening. She is but a poor lackadaisical drawers for little Georgy's benefit, and com- creature, and it is my belief has no heart at pounded draughts and mixtures for him of all.' It is only her pretty face which all you miraculous sweetness, so that it was quite a gentlemen admire so. Miss Grits, who has pleasure to the child to be ailing. He and five thousand pounds and expectations bePestler, his chief, sate up two whole nights sides, has twice as much character, and is a by the boy in that momentous and awful thousand times more agreeable to my taste; week when Georgy had the measles; and and if she were good-looking I know that when you would have thought, from the you would think her perfection." mother's terror, that there had never been Very likely. Miss Binny was right to a measles in the world before. Would they great extent. It is the pretty face which have done as umuch for other people? Did creates sympathy in the hearts of men, those they sit up for the folks at the Pineries, wicked rogues. A woman may possess the when Ralph Plantagenet, and Gwendoline, wisdom and chastity of Minerva, and we give and Guinever Mango, had the same juvenile no heed to her, if she has a plain face. What complaint? Did they sit up for little Mary folly will not a pair of bright eyes make parClapp, the landlord's daughter, who actually donable? What dullness may not red lips caught the disease of little Georgy? Truth and sweet accents render pleasant? And compels one to say, no. They slept quite so, with their usual sense of justice, ladies undisturbed, at least as far as she was con- argue that because a woman is handsome, cerned-pronounced hers to be a slight therefore she is a fool. Oh ladies, ladies! case, which would almost cure itself, sent some there are of you who are neither her in a draught or two, and threw in bark handsome nor wise. when the child rallied, with perfect indiffer- These are but trivial incidents to recount ence, and just for form's sake. in the life of our heroine. Her tale does Again, there was the little French chev- not deal in wonders, as the gentle reader has alier opposite, who gave lessons in his native already no doubt perceived; and if a journal tongue at various schools in the neighbor- had been kept of her proceedings during the hood, and who might be heard in his apart- seven years after the birth of her son, there ment of nights playing tremulous old gavottes would be found few incidents mo re remarkand minuets, on a wheezy old fiddle. When- able in it than that of the measles, rlecorded ever this powdered and courteous old man, in the foregoing page. Yes, one day, and who never missed a Sunday at the convent greatly to her wonder, the Reverend Mr. chapel at Hammersmith, and who was in all Binny just mentioned, asked her to change respects, thoughts, conduct, and bearing, her name of Osborne for his own; when, utterly unlike the bearded savages of his with deep blushes, and tears in her eyes and nation, who curse perfidious Albion, and voice, she thanked him for his regard for scowl at you fiom over their cigars, in the her, expressed gratitude for his attentions to Quadrant arcades at the present day, when- her and to her poor little boy, but said that ever the old Chevalier de Talonrouge spoke she never, never could think of any but-but of Mistress Osborne, he would first finish the husband whom she had lost. his pinch of snuff, flick away the remaining On the twenty-fifth of April, and the particles of dust with a graceful wave of his eighteenth of June, the days of her marriage hand, gather up his fingers again into a and widowhood, she kept her room entirely, bunch, and, bringing them up to his mouth, consecrating them (and we do not know how blow them open with a kiss, exclaiming, mnany hours of solitary night-thought, ler,Ah, la divine creature! He vowed and little boy sleeping in his crib by her bedprotested that when Amelia walked in the side) to the memory of that departed fiiend. Brompton lanes flowers grew in profusion During the day she was more active. She under her feet. He called little Georgy had to teach George to read and to write, Cupid, and asked him news of Venus, his and a little to draw. She read books, in mamma; and told the astonished Betty order that she might tell him stories from Flanagan that she was one of the Graces, theln. As his eyes opened, and his mind 190 VANITY FAIR. expanded, under the influence of the out- Sedley and Co. orders for wine which pIerk ward nature round about him, she taught fectl1y astonished Mr. Sedley and Mr. Clapp, the child, to the best of her humble power, who was the Co. in the business. But no to acknowledge the Maker of all; and every more orders came after that first burst of night and every morning he and she-(in good fortune, on which poor old Osborne that awful and touching communion which I was about to build a house in the city, a think must bring a thrill to the heart of every regiment of clerks, a dock to himself, and man who witresses or who remembers it)- correspondents all over the world. The old the mother and the little boy —prayed to gentleman's former taste in wine had gone: Our Father together, the mother pleading the curses of the mess-room assailed Major with all her gentle heart, the child lisping Dobbin for the vile drinks he had been the after as she spoke. And each time they means of introducing there; and he bought prayed to God to bless dear papa, as if he back a great quantity of the wine, and sold were alive and in the room with them. it at public outcry, at an enormous loss to To wash and dress this young gentleman himself. As for Jos, who was by this time -to take him for a run of the mornings, be- promoted to a seat at the' Revenue Board fore breakfast, and the retreat of grandpapa at Calcutta, he was wild with rage when for " business "-to make for him the most the post brought him out a bundle of these wonderful and ingenious dresses, for which Bacchanalian prospectuses, with a private end the thrifty widow cut up and altered note from his father, telling Jos that his every available little bit of finery which she senior counted upon him in this enterprise, possessed out of her wardrobe during her and had consigned a quantity of select wines marriage-for Mis. Osborne herself (greatly to him, as per invoice, drawing bills upon to her mother's vexation, who preferred fine him for the amount of the same. Jos, who slothes, especially since her misfortunes) al- would no more have it supposed that his ways wore a black gown, and a straw bonnet father, Jos Sedley's father, of the Board of with a black ribbon —occupied her many Revenue, was a wine merchant asking for hours of the day. Others she had to spare, orders, than that he was Jack Ketch, refusat the service of her mother and her old ed the bills with scorn, wrote back contumefather. She had taken the pains to learn, liously to the old gentleman, bidding him to and used to play cribbage with this gentle- mind his own affiairs; and the protested man on the nights when he did not go to his paper coming back., Sedley and Co. had to club. She sang for him when he was so take it up with the profits which they made minded, and it was a good sign, for he in- out of the Madras venture, and with a little variably fell into a comfortable sleep during portion of Emmy's savings. the music. She wrote out his numerous Besides her pension of fifty pounds ayear, memorials, letters, prospectuses, and pro- there had been five hundred pounds, as her jects. It was in her hand-writing that husband's executor stated, left in the'agent's mosf of the old gentleman's former ac- hands at the time of Osborne's demise, quaintances were informed that he had which sum, as George's guardian, Dobbin become an agent to the Black Diamond proposed to put out at eight per cent, in an and Anti-Cinder Coal Company, and could Indian house of agency. Mr. Sedley, who supply his friends and the public -with the thought that the major had some roguish best coals at -s. per caldron. All he did intentions of his own about the money, was was to sign the circulars with his flourish strongly against this plan; and he went to and signature, and direct them in a shaky, the agents to protest personally against the clerk-like hand. One of these papers was employment of the money in question, when sent to Major Dobbin, - Regt., care of he learned, to his surprise, that there had Messrs. Cox and Greenwood; but the ma- been no such sum in their hands, that all jor being in Madras at the time, had no the late captain's assets did not amount to a particular call for coals. He knew, though, hundred pounds, and that the five hundred the hand which had written the prospectus. pounds in question must be a separate sum. Good God.! what would he not have given to of which Major Dobbin knew the particulars. holditinhisown! Asecond prospectuscame More than ever convinced that there was out, informing the major that J. Sedley and some roguery, old Sedley pursued the major. Company, having established agencies at As his daughter's nearest friend, he demandOporto, Bordeaux, and St. Mary's, were ed,'with a high hand, a statement of the late enabled to'offer to their fiiends and the captain's accounts. Dobbin's stammering, public generally, the finest and most cele- blushing, and awkwardness added to the brated growths of ports, sherries, and claret other's convictions that he had a rogued to wines at reasonable prices, and under ex- deal with; and in a majestic tone he told traordinary advantages. Acting upon this that officer a piece of his mind, as he called hint, Dobbin furiously canvassed the gov- it, simply stating his belief that the major ernor, the, commander-in-chief, the judges, was unlawfully detaining his late son-in-law's the regiments, and every body whom he money. knew in the Presidency, and sent home to Dobbin at this lost all patience, and if his A NOTEL WITHOUT A HERO. 191 accuser had not been so old and so broken, a worth fifty guineas apiece at the very least, quarrel might have ensued between them at as Mrs. Sedley knew. She wore hers in the Slaughter's Coffee-house, inll a box of state at church at Brompton, and was conwhich place of entertainment the gentlemen gratulated by her female friends upon the had their colloquy. " Come up-stairs, sir," splendid-acquisition. Emmy's, too, became lisped out the major. "I insist on your prettily her modest black gown. "W\that a coming up-stairs, and I will show which is pity it is she won't think of him," Mrs. Sedthe injured party, poor George or I;" and, ley remarked to Mrs. Clapp, and to all her dragging the old gentleman up to his bed- friends of Brompton. " Jos never sent us room, he produced fiom his desk Osborne's such presents, I am sure, and grudges us accounts, and a bundle of I O U which the every thing. It is evident that the major is latter had given, who, to do him justice, was over head and ears in love with her: and always ready to give an I O U. " He paid yet, whenever I so much as hint it, she his bills in England," Dobbin added, but he turns red and begins to cry, and goes and had not a hundred pounds in the world when sits up-stairs with her miniature. I'm sick he fell. I and one or two of his brother- of that miniature. I wish we had never officers made up a'little sum, which was all seen those odious purse-proud Osbornes." that we could spare, and you dare to tell us Amidst such humble scenes and associates that we are trying to cheat the widow and George's early youth was passed, and the orphan." Sedley was very contrite and boy grew up delicate, sensitive, imperious, humbled, though the fact is, that William woman-bred-domineeringthe gentle mothDobbin had told a great falsehood to the old er whom he loved with passionate affection. gentleman; having himself given every shil- He ruled all the rest of the little world round ling of the money, having buried his friend, about him. As he grew, the elders were fand paid all the fees and charges incident amazed at his haughty manner and his conupon the calamity and removal of poor stant likeness to his father. He asked quesAmelia. tions about every thing, as inquiring youth About these expenses old Osborne had will do. The profundity of his remarks and never given himself any trouble to think, nor interrogatories astonished his old grandfather any other relative of Amelia, nor Amelia who perfectly bored the club at the tavern herself, indeed. She trusted to Major Dob- with stories about the little lad's learning bin as an accountant, took his somewhat and genius. He suffered his grandmother confused calculations for granted: and never with a good-humored indifference. The once suspected how much she was in his small circle round about him believed that debt. the equal of the boy did not exist upon the Twice or thrice in the year, according to earth. Georgy inherited his father's pride her promise, she wrote him letters to Ma- and perhaps thought they were not wrong. dras, letters all about little Georgy. How When he grew to be about six years old hle treasured these papers! Whenever Dobbin began to write to him very much. Amelia wrote-he answered, and not until The major wanted to hear that Georgy was then. But he sent over endless remem- going to a school, and hoped he would acquit brances of himself to his godson and to her. himself with credit there: or would he have He ordered and sent a box of scarfs, and a a good tutor at home? it was time that he grand ivory set of chess-men fiom China. should begin to learn; and his godfather and The pawns were little green and white men, guardian hinted that he hoped to be allowed with real swords and shields; the knights to defiay the charges of the boy's education, were on horseback, the castles were on the which would fall heavily upon his mother's backs of elephants. " Mrs. Mango's own straitened income. The major, in a word, set at the Pineries was not so fine," Mr. was always thinking about Amelia and her Pestler remarked. These chess-men were little boy, and by orders to his agents kept the delight of Georgy's life, who printed his the latter provide.d with picture-books, paintfirst letter in acknowledgment of this gift of boxes, desks, and all conceivable implements his godpapa. He sent over preserves and of amusement and instruction. Three days pickles, which latter the young gentleman before George's sixth birth-day, at gentleman tried surreptitiously in the sideboard, and in a gig, accompanied by a servant, drove up half-killed himself with eating. He thought to Mr. Sedley's house, and asked to see it was a judgment upon him for stealing, Master George Osborne: it was Mr. Woolthey were so hot. Emmy wrote a comical sey, military tailor, of Conduit-street, who little account of this mishap to the major: it came at the major's order to measure the pleased him to think that her spifits were young gentleman for a suit of cloth clothes. rallying, and that she could be merry some- He had had the honor of making for the times now. He sent over a pair of shawls, captain, the young gentleman's faither. a white one for her, and a black one with Sometimes too, and by the major's desire palm-leaves for her mother, and a pair of no doubt, his sisters, the Misses Dobbin, red scarfs, as winter wrappers, for old Mr. would call in the family carriage to take Sedley and' George. The shawls were Amelia and the little boy a drive if they 192 -`SVANITY FAIR. were so inclined. The patronage and kind- family," she said, charitably. "Pitt will ness of these ladies was very uncomfortable never spend it, my dear, that is quite certo Amelia, but she bore it meekly enough, tain; for a greater miser does not exist in for her nature was to yield; and, besides England, and he is as odious, though in a the carriage and its splendors gave little different way, as his spendthrift brother, the Georgy immense pleasure. The ladies abandoned Rawdon." begged occasionally that the child might So Mrs. Bute, after the first shock of rage pass a day with them, and he was always and disappointment, began to accommodate glad to go to that fine garden-house at Den- herself as best she could to her altered formark Hill, where they lived, and where tunes, and to save and retrench with all her there were such fine grapes in the hot- might. She instructed her daughters how houses aiid peaches on the walls. to bear poverty cheerfully, and invented a One day they kindly came over to Amelia thousand notable methods to conceal or with news which they were sure would de- evade it. She took them about to balls and light her-something very interesting about public places in the neighborhood, with their dear William. praiseworthy energy; nay, she entertained " What was it: was he coming home?" her friends in a hospitable, comfortable manshe asked with pleasure beaming in her ner at the Rectory, and much more frieeyes. quently than before dear Miss Crawley's "~'Oh, no-not the least-but they had legacy had fallen in. From her outward very good reason to believe that dear Will- bearing nobody would have supposed that iam was about to be married-and to a re- the family had been disappointed in their lation of a very dear friend of Amelia's- expectations: or have guessed fiom her fireto Miss Glorvina O'Dowd, Sir Michael quent appearance in public how she pinched O'Dowd's sister, who had gone out to join and starved at home. Her girls had more bLady O'Dowvd at Madras-a very beautiful milliner's furniture than they had ever enand accomplished girl, every body said." joyed before. They appeared perseveringly Amelia said "Oh!" Amelia was very, at the Winchester and Southampton assemvery happy indeed. But she supposed Glor- blies; they penetrated to Cowes for the racevina could not be like her old acquaintance, balls and regatta-gayeties there; and their who was most kind-but-but she was very carriage, with the horses taken fiom the happy indeed. And by some impulse, of plough, was at work perpetually, until it which T can not explain the meaning, she began almost to be believed that the four took George in her arms and kissed him sisters had had fortunes left them by their with an extraordinary tenderness. Her aunt, whose name the family never meneyes were quite moist when she put the tioned in public but with the most tender child down; and she scarcely spoke a word gratitude and regard. I know no sort of during the whole of the drive- -though she lying which is more fiequent in Vanity Fair was so very happy indeed. than this; and it may be remarked how people who practice it take credit to themselves for their hypocrisy, and fancy that they are exceedingly virtuous and praiseCHAPTER XXXIX. worthy, because they are able to deceive A CYNICAL CHAPTER. the world with regard to the extent of their means. Ouh duty now takes is back for a brief Mrs. Bute certainly thought herself one space to some old Hampshire acquaintances of the most virtuous women in England, and of ours, whose hopes respecting the disposal the sight of her happy family was an edifyof their rich kinswoman's property were so ing one to strangers. They were so cheerwofully disappointed. After counting upon ful, so loving, so well-educated, so simple! thirty thousand pounds firom his sister, it Martha painted flowers exquisitely, and was a heavy blow to Bute Crawley to receive furnished half the charity-bazaars in the but five; out of which sum, when he had county. Emma was a regular county bulbul, paid his own debts and those of Jim, his son and her verses in the', Hampshire Teleat college, a very small fragment remained graph" were the glory of its Poets' Corner. to portion off his four plain daughters. Mrs. Fanny and Matilda sang duets together, Bute never knew, or at least never acknowl- mamma playing the piano, and the other edged, how far her own tyrannous behavior two sisters sitting with their alms round had tended to ruin her husband. All that each other's waists, and listening affectionwoman could do. she vowed and protested ately. Nobody saw the poor girls drumming she had done. Was it her fault if she did at the duets in private. No one saw mamma not possess those sycophantic arts which drilling them rigidly hour after hour. In a her hypocritical nephew, Pitt Crawley, prac- word, Mrs. Bute put a good face against ticed? She wished him all the happiness fortune, and kept up appearances in the most which lAe merited out of his ill-gotten gains. virtuous manner. i" At least the money will remain in the Every thing that a good and respectable A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 193 mother could di Mrs. Bute did. She got King's! Head to rub'em a little? How do, over yachting mau firom Southampton, par- Pitt? How do, my dear? Come to see the sons fiom the Cathedral Close at Winches- old man, hay?'Gad-you've a pretty face, ter, and officers from the barracks there. too. You ain't like that old horse-godmothShe triqd to inveigle the young barristers at er, your mother. Come and give old Pitt a assizes, and encouraged Jim to bring home kiss, like a good little gal." friends with whom he went out hunting The embrace disconcerted the daughter with the H. H. What will not a mother in-law somewhat, as the caresses of old do for the benefit of her beloved ones? gentlemen unshorn and perfumed with toBetween such a woman and her brother- bacco might well do. But she remembered in-law, the odious baronet at the 11all, it is that her brother Southdown had mustaches, manifest that there could be very little in and smoked cigars, and submitted to the common. The rupture between Bute and baronet with a tolerable grace. his brother Sir Pitt was complete; indeed, "Pitt has got vat," said the baronet, after between Sir Pitt and the whole county, to this mark of affection. "Does he read ee which the old man was a scandal. His dis- very long zermons, my dear? Hundredth like for respectable society increased with Psalm, Evening Hymn, hay Pitt? Go and age, and the lodge-gates had not opened to get a glass of Malmsey and a cake for my a gentleman's carriage-wheels since Pitt and Lady Jane, Horrocks, you great big booby, Lady Jane came to pay their visit of duty and don't stand staring there like a fat pig. after their marriage. I won't ask you' to stop, my dear; you'll That was an awful and unfortunate visit, find it too stoopid, and so should I too along never to be thought of by the family without a Pitt. I'm an old man now, and like my horror. Pitt begged his wife, with a ghastly own ways, and my pipe and backgammon?mountenance, never to speak of it; and it of a night." was only through Mrs. Bute herself, who "I can play at backgammon, sir," said still knew every thing which took place at Lady Jane, laughing. " I used to play with the Iall, that the circumstances of Sir Bute's papa and Miss Crawley, did'nt I, Mr. Crawreception of his son and daughter-in-law ley?" were ever known at all. " Lady Jane can play, sir, at the game to As they drove up the avenue of the park which you state that you are so partial,' in their neat and well-appointed carriage, Pitt said, haughtily. Pitt remarked with dismay and wrath great " But she waw'nt stop for all that. Naw, gaps among the trees-his trees-which the naw, goo back to Mudbury and give Mrs. old baronet was felling entirely without li- Rincer a benefit: or drive down to the cense. The park wore an aspect of utter Rectory, and ask Buty for a dinner. He'll dreariness and ruin. The drives were ill be charmed to see you, you know; he's so kept, and the neat carriage splashed and much obliged to you for gittin the old wofoundered in muddy pools along the road. man's money. Ha, ha. Some of it will do The great sweep in front of the terrace and to patch up the Hall when I'm gone." entrance stair was black and covered with "I perceive, sir," said Pitt, with a heightmosses; the once trim flower-beds rank and ened voice, " that your people will cut weedy. Shutters were up along almost down the timber." the whole line of the house; the great hall- " Yees, yees, very fine weather, and seadoor was unbarred after much ringing of the sonable for the time of the year," Sir Pitt bell; an individual in ribbons was seen flit- answered, who had suddenl3 grown deaf. ting up the black oak stair, as Horrocks at " But I'm gittin old, Pitt, now. DLaw bless length admitted the heir of Queen's Craw- you, you ain't far from fifty yourseHi. But ley and his bride into the halls of their fa- he wears well, my pretty Lady Jane, doni't thers. He led the way into Sir Pitt's he? It's all godliness, sobriety, and a moral "'Library," as it was called, the fumes of life. Look at me, I'm not very fur from.. tobacco growing stronger as Pitt and Lady fowr-score-he, he;" and he laughed, and Jane approached that apartment. Sir Pitt took snuff; and leered at her, and pinched ain't very well, Horrocks remarked apolo- her hand. getically, and hinted that his master was Pitt once more brought the conversation afflicted with lumbago. back to the timber; but the baronet was The library looked out on the front walk deaf again in an instant. and park. Sir Pitt had opened one of the "I'm gittin very old, and have been cruel windows. and was bawling out thence to the bad this year with the lumbago. I shan't postillion and Pitt's servant, who seemed to be here now for long; but I'm glad ee've be about to take the baggage down. come, daughter-in-law. I like your face, "Don't move none of them trunks," he Lady Jane: it's got none of the damned cried, pointing,with a pipe which he held in high-boned Binkie look in it; and I'll give his hand. " It's only a morning visit, Tucker, ee something pretty, my dear, to go to court you fool. Lor, what cracks that off hoss in." And he shuffled across the room to a as in his heels! Ain't there no one at the cupboard, from which he took a little old N 194 VANITY FAIR. case containing jewels of some value. 1" Take agined, as these reports of his father's that," said he, "'my dear; it belonged to my dotage reached the most exemplary and cormother, and afterward to the first Lady rect of gentlemen. He trembled daily lest he Binkie. Pretty pearls-never gave'ema the should hear that the ribbons was proclaimed ironmonger's daughter. No, no. Take'em his second legal mother-in-law. After that and put'em up quick," said he, thrusting first and last visit, his father's name was the case into his daughter's hand, and clap- never mentioned in Pitt's polite and genteel ding the door of the cabinet to, as Horrocks establishment. It was the skeleton in his entered with a salver and refreshments. house, and all the family walked by it in " What have you a been and given Pitt's terror and silence. The Countess Southwife?" said the individual in ribbons, when down kept on dropping per coach at the Pitt and Lady Jane had taken leave of the lodge-gate the most exciting tracts, tracts old gentleman. It was Miss Horrocks, the which ought to frighten the hair off your butler's daughter-the cause of the scandal head. Mrs. Bute at the parsonage nightly throughout the county-the lady who reign- looked out to see if the sky was red over ed now almost supreme at Queen's Crawley. the elms behind which the Hall stood, and' The rise and progress of those ribbons the mansion was on fire. Sir G. Wapshot had been marked with dismay by the coun- and Sir H. Fuddlestone, old friends of the ty and family. The ribbons opened an cc- house would'nt sit on the bench with Sir count at the Mudbury Branch Savings' Bank; Pitt at Quarter Sessions, and cut him dead the ribbons drove to church, monopolizing in the High-street of Southampton, where the pony-chaise, which was for the use of the reprobate stood offering his dirty old the servants at the Hall. The domestics hands to them. Nothing had any effect were dismissed at her pleasure. The Scotch upon him; he put his hands into his pockgardener, who still lingered on the premises, ets, and burst out laughing, as he scrambled taking a pride in his walls and hothouses, into his carriage and four; he used to burstand indeed making a pretty good livelihood out laughing at -Lady Sonthdown's tracts; by the garden, which he farmed, and of and he laughed at his sons, and at the xWorld, which he sold the produce at Southampton, and at the -ribbons when she was angry, found the ribbons eating peaches in a stn- which was not seldom. shiny morning at the south wall, and had Miss Horrocks was installed as househis ears boxed, when he remonstrated about keeper at Queen's Crawley, and ruled all this attack on his property. He and his the domestics there with great majesty and Scotch wife and his Scotch children, the vigor. All the servants were instructed to only respectable inhabitants of Queen's address her as "Mum," or "iMadam," -and Crawley, were forced to migrate, with their there was one little maid, on her promotion, goods and their chattels, and left the stately who persisted in calling her " My Lady," comfortable gardens to go to waste, and the without any rebuke on the part of the houseflower-beds to run to seed. Poor Lady keeper.'"There has been better ladies, and Crawley's rose-garden became the dreariest there has been worser, Hester," was Miss wilderness. Only two or three domestics Horrocks' reply to this compliment of her inshuddered in the bleak old servants' hall. ferior; s6 she ruled, having supreme power The stables and offices were vacant,' and over all except her father, whom, however, shut up, and half ruined. Sir Pitt lived in she treated with considerable haughtiness, private and boozed nightly with Horrocks, warning him not to be too familiar in his behis butler:; house-steward (as he now havior to one " as was to be a baronet's lady." began to?,e called), and the abandoned rib- Indeed, she rehearsed that exalted part in bons. l he times were very much changed life with great satisfaction to herself, and to since the period when she drove to Mud- the amusement of old Sir Pitt, who chuckled oury'in the spring-cart, and called the small at her airs and graces, and would laugh by tradesmen " sir." It may have been shame, the hour together at her assumptions of dig-or it may have been dislike of his neighbors, nignity, and imitations of genteel life. He but the old cynic of Queen's Crawley hard- swore it was as good as a play to see her in ly issued from his park-gates at all now. the character of a fine dame, and he made He quarreled with his agents, and screwed her put on one of the first Lady Crawhis tenants by letter. His days were passed ley's court-dresses, swearing (entirely to in conducting his own correspondence; the Miss Horrocks' own concurrence), that the lawyers and farm-bailiffs, who had to do dress became her prodigiously, and threatbusiness with him, could not reach him but ening to drive her off that very instant to through the ribbons, who received them at court in a coach-and-four. She had the ranthe door of the housekeeper's room, which sacking of the wardrobes of the two defunct commanded the bacl entrance by which ladies, and cut and hacked their posthumous they were admitted. and so the baronet's finery so as to suit her own taste and figure. daily perplexities increased, and his ernbar- And she would have liked to take possession rassments multiplied round him. of their jewels and trinkets too; but the old The horror of Pitt Crawley may be im- baronet had locked them away in his private '~..,,-1 -—..,__ ii'!'!Ji;~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ —---------- \ — \\ i~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~( lj,, ii~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /Ii i, Ii I j/i i:Ji ~ ~~ ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~ ~~~~' Ii I -— J&/)I\ ItI ~~I if~i!I II SI a~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I'I I, II!;II? i~'n i i~!i'' i~i, I,t~! f i z, Iit- Yi:~! II ~~~., A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. cabinet, nor could she coax or wheedle him tie which had served for Sir Pitt's:out of the keys. And it is a fact, that some and through that apartment into Sir time after she left Queen's Crawley, a copy- study, where they found Miss Horrocks book belonging to this lady was discovered, the guilty ribbons, with a wild air, trying which showed that she had taken great pains the presses and escritoires with a bunch of in private to learn the art of writing in gen- keys. She dropped them with a scream of eral,:and especially of writing her own:name terror, as little Mrs. Bute's eyes flashed out a3 Lady Crawley, Lady Betsy Horrocks, at her from under her black calash. Lady E.izabeth Crawley, &c. " Look at that, James and Mr. Crawley," Though the good people of the parsonage cried Mrs. Bute, pointing at the scared never went to the Hall, and shunned the figure of the black-eyed, guilty wench. horrid old dotard its owner, yet they kept a "He gave'em me; he gave'em me!" strict knowledge of all that happened there, she cried. and were looking out every day for the cata- "Gave them you, you abandoned creastrophe, for which Miss Horrocks was also ture!" screamed Mrs. Bute. "Bear witeager. But Fate intervened enviously, and ness, Mr. Crawley, we found this good-forprevented her fiom receiving the reward due nothing woman in the act of stealing your to such immaculate love and virtue. brother's property; and she will be hanged, One day the baronet surprised;" her lady- as I always said she would." ship," as he jocularly called her, seated at Betsy Horrocks quite daunted, flung herthat old and tuneless piano in the drawing- self down on her knees, bursting into tears. room, which had scarcely been touched since But those who know a really good woman Becky Sharp played quadrilles upon it. Seat- are aware that she is not in a hurry to fored at the piano with the utmost gravity, and give, and that the humiliation of an enemy squalling to the best of her power in imita- is triumph to her soul. tion of the music which she had sometimes "lRing the bell, James," Mrs. Bute said. heard. The little kitchen-maid on her pro- " Go on ringing it till the people come." -motion was standing at her mistress's side, The three or fbur domestics resident in the quite delighted during the operation, and deserted old house came presently at that wagging her head up and down, and crying, jangling and continued summons. "Lor, Mum,'tis bittiful,"'-just like a genteel "Put that woman in the strong-room," sycophant in a real drawing-room. she said. "W/Ve caught her in the act of This incident made the old baronet roar robbing Sir Pitt. Mr. Crawley, you'll make with laughter, as usual. He narrated the out her committal- and, Beddoes, you'll circumstance a dozen times to Horrocks in drive her over in the spring-cart, in the the course of the evening, and greatly to the morning to Southampton jail." discomfiture of Miss Horrocks. He thrum- " My dear," interposed the magistrate med on the table as if it had been a musical and rector-" she's only-" instrument, and squalled in imitation of her "Are there no handcuffs?" Mrs. Bute manner of singing. He vowed that such a continued, stamping in her clqgs. 1" There beautiful voice ought: to be cultivated, and used to be handcuffs. Where's the creadeclared she ought to have singing-masters, ture's abominable fathers." in which proposals she saw nothing ridicu- "He did give'em me," still cried poor lous. He was in great spirits that night;: Betsy; "didn't he, Hester? You saw Sir and drank with his friendand butler an ex- Pitt-you know you did-give'em me, traordinay quantity of rum-and-water-at a ever so long ago-the day after Mudbery!very late hour the faithful friend and domes- fair: not that I want'emr. Take'em if you tic conducted his master to his bed-room. think they ain't mine." And here the unHalf an hour afterward there was a great happy wretch pulled:out fiont her pocket a hurry and bustle in the house. Lights went large pair of paste shoe-buckles which had about from window to window in the lonely, excited her admiration, and which she had desolate old Hall, whereof but two or three just appropriated out of one of the book rooms were ordinarily occupied by its owner. cases in the study, where they had lain. -Presently, a boy on a pony went galloping "Law, Betsy, how could you go for to off to Mudbury, to the doctor's house there. tell such a wicked story!" said Hester, the And in another hour (by which fact we as- little kitchen-maid late on her promotioncertain howcarefullythe excellent Mrs. Bute;and to Madam Crawley, so good and kind, Crawley had always keptup an understanding and his rev'rince (with a courtesy) and you with the great house), that lady, in her clogs may search all my boxes, Inum, I'm surie, and and calash, the Reverend Bute -Crawley, here's my keys, as IPm an honest girl though and James Crawley, her son, had walked over of pore parents and workhouse bred-and if from the Rectory, through the park, and had you find so much as a beggarly bit of lace entered the mansion by the open hall-door. or a silk stocking out of all the gownds as They passed through the hall and the you've had the picking of may I never go to small oak parlor, on the table of which stood church agin." the three tumblers and the empty rum-bot- " Give up your keys, you hardened hue VANITY FAIR.,ed out the virtuous little lady in the Crawley. For though the old baronet survived many months, he never recovered the And here's a candle, mum, and if you use of his intellect or his speech completelease, mum, I can show you her room, ly, and the government of the estate demum, and the press in the housekeeper's volved upon his elder son. In a strange room, mum, where she keeps heaps and condition Pitt found it. Sir Pitt was always heaps of things, mum," cried out the eager buying and mortgaging: he had twenty men little Hester with' a profusion of courtesys. of business, and quarrels with each; quar" Hold your tongue if you please. I rels with all his tenants, and lawsuits with know the room which the creature occupies them; lawsuits with the lawyers;; lawsuits perfectly well. Mrs. Brown, have the with the Mining and Dock Companies in goodness to come with me, and Beddoes which he was proprietor; and with every don't you lose sight of that woman," said person with whom he had business. To Mrs. Bute, seizing the candle. "Mr. unravel these difficulties, and set the estate Crawley you had better go up-stairs, and clear, was a task worthy of the orderly and see that they are not murdering your unfor- persevering diplomatist of Pumpernickel; tunate brother" —and the calash, escorted and he set himself to work with prodigious by Mrs. Brown, walked away to. the apart- assiduity. His whole family, of course, was ment which, as she said truly, she knew transported to Queen's Crawley, whither perfectly well. Lady Southdown, of course, came too; and Bute went up-stairs, and found the doctor she set about converting the parish undel from Mudbury, with the frightened Hor- the rector's nose, and brought down her irrocks over his master in a chair. They regular clergy to the dismay of the angry were trying to bleed Sir Pitt Crawley. Mrs. Bute. Sir Pitt had concluded no bargain for the sale of the, living of Queen's With the early morning an express was Crawley; when it should drop her ladyship sent off to Mr. Pitt Crawley by the rector's proposed to take the patronage into her own lady, who assumed the command of every hands, and present a young protege to the thing, and had watched the old baronet Rectory; on which subject the diplomatic t;hrough the night. HQ had been brought Pitt said nothing. back to a sort of life;: he could not speak, Mrs. Bute's intentions with regard to Miss but seemed to recognize people. MIrs. Bute Betsy Horrocks were not carried into efkept resolutely by his bed-side. She never feet; and she paid no visit to Southampton seemed to want to sleep, that little woman, Jail. She and her father left the Hall, when and did not close her fiery black eyes the latter took possession of the Crawley once, though the doctor snored in the arm- Arms in the village, of which he had got a chair. Horrocks made some wild efforts to lease fiom Sir Pitt The ex-butler had obassert his authority and assist his master: tained a small fireehold there likewise, which but Mrs. Bute called him a tipsy old wretch, gave him a vote for the borough. The rector and bade him never show his face again in had another of these votes, and these and that house or he should be transported like four others formed the representative body his abominable daughter. whichreturned the two membersfor Queen's Terrified by her manner he slunk down Crawley. to the oak parlor where Mr. James was, There was a show of courtesy kept up who, having tried the bottle standing there between the Rectory and the Hall ladies, and found no liquor in it, ordered Mr. Hor- between the younger ones at least, for Mrs. rocks to get another bottle of rum, which he Bute and Lady Sotithdown never could fetched, with clean glasses, and to which the meet without battles, and gradually ceased rector and his son sate down: ordering Hor- seeing each other. Her ladyship kept her rocks to put down the keys at that instant room when the ladies from the Rectory and never to show his face again. visited their cousins at the Hall. Perhaps Cowed by this behavior Horrocks gave up Mr. Pitt was not very much displeased at the keys: and he and his daughter slunk these occasional absences of his mamma-inoff silently through the night, and gave up law. He believed the Binkie family to be possession of the house of Queen's Craw- the greatest and wisest, and most interestley. ing in the world, and her ladyship and his aunt had long held ascendency over him; but sometimes he felt that she commanded him too much. To be considered young CHAPTER XL. was complimentary doubtless; but at sixIN WHICH BECKY IS RECOGNIZED BY THE and-forty to be treated as a boy was sorieFAMILY. times mortifying. Lady Jane yielded up every thing, however, to her mother. Sh13 THE heir of Crawley arrived at home, in was only fond of her children in private; due time, after this catastrophe, and hence- and it was lucky for her that Lady Southforth may be said to have reigned in Queen's down's multifarious business, her confer ";,~:'!i!!;'~ /,,, / til? ~. ~.. i.?,~, / [,;~. i~'' 1,:I I j b r 7 I ii~tii 1(1iiii Ii j'iiii,,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i SL' PITT"S LAST IST.A.( p. lfl lW) A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 197 ences with ministers, and her correspond- I At last a day came when the nurse's ocenre with all the missionaries of Africa, cupation was over. Early one morning, as Asia, and Australasia, &c., occupied the ven- Pitt Crawley was at his steward's and baierable Zountess a great deal, so that she had liff's books in the study, a knock came to but lit.hle time to devote to her granddatigh- the door, and Hester presented herself, ter, the little Matilda, and her grandson, dropping a courtesy, and said, Master Pitt Crawley. The latter was a "If you please, Sir Pitt, Sir Pitt died feeble child; and it was only by prodigious this morning, Sir Pitt. I was a-making of quantities of calomnel that Lady Southdown his toast, Sir Pitt, for his gruel, Sir Pitt, was able to keep lim in life at all. which he took every morning reg'lar at six, As for Sir Pitt, he retired into those very Sir Pitt, and-I thought I heard a moan apartments where Lady Crawley had been like, Sir Pitt-and-and-and-." She previously extinguished, and here was tend- dropped another courtesy. ed by Miss Hester, th.s girl upon her pro- What was it that made Pitt's pale face motion, with constant care and assiduity. flush quite red? Was it' because he was What love, what fidelity, what constancy is Sir Pitt at last, with a seat in Parliament, there equal to that of a nurse with good and perhaps future honors in prospect? wages? They smooth pillows, and make "I'll clear the estate now with the ready arrow-root; they get up at nights;.they money," he thought, and rapidly calculated bear complaints and querulousness; they its encumbrances and. the improvements se the sun shining out of doors, and don't which he would make. He would not use want to go abroad; they sleep on arm-chairs, his aunt's money previously, lest Sir Pitt and eat their meals in solitude; they pass should recover, and his outlay be in vain. long, long evenings doing nothing, watching the embers, and the patient's drink simmer- All the blinds were pulled down at the ing in the jug; they read the weekly paper Hall and Rectory; the church bell was the whole week through; and Law's Se- tolled, and the chancel hung in black; and rious Call or the Whole Duty of Man suf- Bute Crawley did'nt go to a coursing meetfices them- for literature for the year-and ing,. but went and dibed quietly at Fuddlewe quarrel with them because, when their stone, where they talked about his deceased relations come to see them once a week, a brother and young Sir Pitt over their port. little gin is smuggled in in their linen-basket. Miss Betsy, who was by this time married Ladies, what man's love is there that would to a sadler at Mudbury, cried a good deal. stand a year's nursing of the object of his Mr. Glauber, the surgeon, rode over, and affection? Whereas a nurse will stand by paid his respectful compliments, and inquiries you for ten pounds a quarter, and we think for the health of their ladyships. The death her too highly paid. At least Mr. Crawley was talked about at Mudbury and at the grumbled a good deal about paying half as Crawley Arms; the landiloral whereof had much to Miss Hester for her constant at- become reconciled with the rector of late, tendance upon the baronet his father. who was occasionally known to step into the Of sunshiny days this old gentleman was parlor and taste Mr. Horrocks' mild beer. taken out in a chair on the terrace-the very "Shall I write to your brother-or will chair which Miss Crawley had had at Brigh- you?" asked Lady Jane of her husband, ton, and which had been transported thence Sir Pitt. with a number of Lady Siuthdown's effects, "I will write, of course," Sir Pitt said, to Queen's Crawley. Lady Jane always " and invite him to the funeral: it will be walked by the old man, and was an evident but becoming." favorite with him. He used to nod many "And-and-Mrs. Rawdon?" said Lady times to her and smile when she came in, Jane, timidly. and utter inarticulate deprecatory moans "Jane!" said Lady Southdown, "how when she was going away. When the can you think of such a thing?" door shut upon her he would cry and sob- " Mrs. Rawdon must of course be asked," whereupon Hester's face and manner, which said Sir Pitt resolutely. was always exceedingly bland and gentle "Not while [ am in the house!" said' while her lady was present, would change Lady Southdown. at once, and she would make faces at him, i" Your ladyship will be pleased to recoland, clench her fist, and screa'm out, "Hold lect that I am the head of this family," Sir your tongue, you stupid old fool," and twirl Pitt replied. " If you please Lady Jane, away his chair from the fire which he loved you will write a letter to Mrs. Rawdon to look at-at which he would cry more. Crawley, requesting her presence upon this For this was all that was left after more melancholy occasion." than seventy years of cunning and strug- " Jane, I forbid you to put pen to paper!" gling, and drinking and scheming, and sin cried the countess. and selfishness-a whimpering old idiot put "I believe I am the head of this family," in and out of bed, and cleaned and fed like Sir Pitt repeated;'" and however much I a baby! may regret any circumstance which may 1,98R ~VANITY FAIR. lead to your ladyship quitting this house, Rawdon-a solemn and e.aborate letter, con. must, if you please, continue to govern it as taining the profoundest observations, couched I see fit." in the longest words, and filling with wonder Lady Southdown rose up- as magnificent the simple little secretary, who wrote under as Mrs. Siddons in Lady Macbeth, and her husband's order. "What an orator this ordered that horses might be put to her will be," thought she, "when he enters the carriage. If- her son and daughter turned House of Commons" (on which point, and her out of their hoase, she would hide her on the tyranny of Lady Southdown, Pitt sorrows somewhere in loneliness, and pray had sometimes dropped hints to his wife in for their conversion to better thoughts. bed); " how wise and good, and what a ge" We: don't turn you out of our house, nius my husband is! I fancied him a little mamma," said the timid Lady Jane implor- cold; but how good, and what a genius!" ingly. The fact is, Pitt Crawley had got every "You invite such company to it as no word of the letter by heart, and: had studied Christian lady should meet, and I will have it, with diplomatic secrecy, deeply and permy horses to-morrow morning." fectly, long before he thought fit to commu"Have the goodness to write, Jane, under nicate it to his. astonished wife. my dictation," said Sir Pitt, rising and throwing himself into an attitude of com- This letter, with, a huge black border and mand, like the "Portrait of a Gentleman" in seal, was accordingly dispatched by Sir Pitt the Exhibition, "and begin,' Queen's Craw- Crawley, to his brother, the colonel, in Lonley, September 14, 1822.-My dear bro- don. RawdonCrawleywasbut half-pleased ther —'" at the receipt of it. " What's the use of Hearing these decisive and terrible words,'going down to that stupid place?" thought Lady Macbeth, who had been waiting for a he. "I can't stand being alone with Pitt sign: of weakness or vacillation on the part of after dinner, and horses there and back will her son-in-law, rose, and with a scared look cost us twenty pound." left the library. Lady Jane looked' up to He carried the letter, as he did all diffiher husband as if she wouldffain follow and: culties, to Becky, up-stairs in her bed-room soothe her manma; but Pitt forbade his — with her chocolate, which he always made wife to move. and took to her of a morning. "She won't go away," he said. " She He put the tray with the breakfast and the has let her house at Brighton, and has spent letter on the dressing-table, before which her last half-year's dividends. A countess Becky sate combing her yellow hair. She living at an inn is a ruined woman. I have took up the black-edged missive, and having been waiting long for an opportunity to take read: it, she jumped: up from the chair, crythis-this decisive step, my love; for, as ing 1"'Hurra.!" and waving the: note round you must perceive', it is' impossible that her head. there should be two chiefs in; a family; and' "Hurra?" said Rawdon, wondering at the now, if you please, we will- resume the dic- little figure capering about in a streaming tation.' My dear brother, the melancholy'flannel dressing-gown, witli tawny locks diintelligence which it is my duty to convey sheveled. "H e's not leftus any thing, Beckyo to my family must have long been antici- I had my share when, I came of age." pated by,'" &c. "You'll never be of age, you; silly old In a word, Pitt, having come to his king- man," Becky replied. "i Runr out now to dom, and having by good luck, or desert Madame Brunoy's, for I must have some rather, as he considered, assumed almost mourning: and get a crape on your hat, and all the fortune which his other relatives had a black waistcoat-I don't think you've got expected, was determined to treat his family one; order it to be brought home to-morrow, kindly and respectably, and make a house of so that we may be able to start on ThursQueen's Crawley once more. It pleased day." him to think that he should be its chief. "You don't mean to go?" Rawdon interHe proposed to use the- vast influence that posed. his commanding talents and position must "Of course I mean to go. I mean: that speedily acquire for him in the county to Lady Jane shall present me at court next get his brother placed and his cousins de- year. I mean that your brother shall: give cently provided for,. and perhaps had a little you a seat in Parliament, you stupid' old sting of repentance as he thought that he- creature. I mean: that Lord Steyne shall was the proprietor of all that they had have your vote and his, my dear, old, silly hoped for. In the course of three or four man; and that you shall be an Irish Secredays' reign his bearing was changed, and tary', ora West Indian Governor: or aTreashis plans quite fixed: he determined to rule urer, or a Consul, or some such thing." justly and honestly, to depose Lady South- " Posting will cost a dooce of a lot of down, and to be on the friendliest possible money," grumbled Rawdon. terms with all the relations of his blood. " We might take Southdown's carriage; So lie dictated a letter to his brother which ought to be present at the funeral, as A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 199 he is a relation of the family: but, no-I in- Briggs tried to live with her relations in tend that we shallgo by the coach. They'll; thae country,i but found that attempt was like it better. It seems more humble-" ivain after thle better society to which she "Rawdy goes of course?" the colonel::had been accustomed. Those persons, asked. small tradesmen in a country town, quarrel"No such thing; why pay an extra place?I ed over Miiss Briggs's forty pounds a year, as He's too big to travel bodkin between you eagerly and more openly than Miss Crawand me. Let him stay here in the nursery, ley's kinsfolk had for that lady's inheritance. and Briggs can make him a black frock. Go Briggs's brother, a radical hatter and grocer, you: and do as I bid you. And you had- called his sister a purse-proud aristocrat, bebest tell Sparks, your man, that old Sir Pitt cause she would not advance a part of her is dead, and that you will come in for some- capital to stock his shop: and she would have thing considerable when the affairs are ar- done it most likely, but that their sister, a ranged. He'll tell this to lRaggles, who has dissenting shoemaker's lady, at variance with been pressing for money, and it will console the hatter and grocer, who went to another poor Raggles." And so Becky began sip- chapel, showed how their brother was on the ping her chocolate. verge of bankruptcy, and took possession of When the faithful: Lord Steyne arrived in Briggs for a while. The dissenting shoethe evening, he found Becky and her com- maker wanted Miss Briggs to send his. son panion, who was no other than our friend to college, and make a gentleman of him. Briggs, busy culling, ripping, snipping, and Between them the two families got a great tearing all sorts of black stuffs available for portion of her private savings out of her: the melancholy occasion. and finally she fled to London followed by " Miss Briggs and I are plunged in grief the anathemas of both, and determined to and despondency for the death of our papa," seek for servitude again as infinitely less Rebecca said. "Sir Pitt Crawley is dead, onerous than liberty. And advertising in my lord.'We have been tearing our hair the papers that a "Gentlewoman of agreeall the morning, and now we are tearing up able' manners, and accustomed to the best our old clothes." society was anxious to," &c., she took up her "' Oh, Rebecca, how can you-" was all residence with Mr. Bowls in Half Moon-st., that Briggs could say as she turned up her and waited- the result of the advertisement. eyes. So it was that she fell in with Rebecca. "Oh, Rebecca, how can you-" echoed~ Mrs. Rawdon's dashing little carriage and my lord. " So that old scoundrel is dead, is ponies was whirling down the street one he? He might have been a peer if he had day, just as Miss Briggs, fatigued, had played his cards better. Mr. Pitt had very reached Mr. Bowls's door, after a weary nearly made him; but he ratted always at walk to the Times Office in the city, to inthe wrong time. What an old Silenus it sert her advertisement for the. sixth time. was." Rebecca was driving, and at once recognized "I might have been Silenus's: widow," the gentlewoman with agreeable manners, said Rebecca. "Don't you remember, Miss and being a perfectly good-humored woman, Briggs, how you peeped in at the door, and as. we have seen, and having a regard for saw old Sir Pitt on his knees to me?" Miss Briggs, she pulled up the ponies at the doorBriggs, our old friend, blushed very much at steps, gave the reins to the groom, and this reminiscence; and was glad when. Lord jumping out had hold of both Briggs's hands, Steyne ordered her to go down stairs and before she of the agreeable manners had make him a cup of tea. recovered from the shock of seeing an old friend. Briggs was the house-dog whom. Rebecca Briggs cried, and Becky laughed a great had provided as guardian of her innocence deal, and kissed the gentlewoman as soon and reputation. Miss Crawley had left her as they got into the passage; and thence a little annuity. She would have been con- into Mrs. Bowls's front parlor, with the red tent to remain in the Crawley family with moreen curtains, and the round looking-glass, Lady Jane, who was good to her and to with the chained eagle above, gazing upon every body; but Lady Southdown dismiss- the back of the ticket in the window which ed poor Briggs as quickly as decency per- announced " Apartments to Let." mitted; and Mr. Pitt (who thought himself Briggs told all her history amid those much injured by the uncalled-for generosity perfectly uncalled-for sobs and ejaculations of his deceased relative toward a lady who of wonder with which women of her soft had only been Miss Crawley's faithful re- nature salute an old acquaintance, or regard tainer a score of years) made no objections a rencounter in the street; for though peoto that exercise of the dowager's authority. ple meet other people every day, yet some Bowls and Firkin likewise received their there are who insist upon discovering miralegacies, and their dismissals; and married cles; and women, even though tley have and set up a lodgiig-house, according to the disliked each other, begin to cry when they customn of their kind. meet, deploring and: remembering the time 200 VANITY FAIR. -when they last quarreled. So, in a word, to drive, but his grief forbade him. Ile sate Briggs told all her history, and Becky ga'e by the coachman, and talked about horses a narrative of her own life, with her usual and the road the whole way; and who kept artlessness and candor. the inns, and who horsed the coach by which Mrs. Bowles, late Firkin, came and listen- he had traveled so many a time, when he and ed grimly in the passage to the hysterical Pitt were boys going to Eton. At Mudbury sniffling and giggling which went on in the a carriage and a pair of horses received front parlor. Becky had never been a favor- them, with a coachman in black. 1" It's the ite of hers. Since the establishment of the old drag, Rawdon," Rebecca said, as they married couple in London they had fre- got in. "The worms have eaten the cloth quented their former friends of tlle house of a good deal-there's the stain which Sir Raggles, and did not like the latter's account Pitt-ha! I see Dawson the Ironmonger of the colonel's menage. "I wouldn't trust has his shutters up-which Sir Pitt made him, Ragg, my boy," Bowls remarked: and such a noise about. It was a bottle of cherry his wife, when Mrs. Rawdon issued from brandy he broke which we went to fetch for the parlor, only saluted the lady with a very your aunt fiom Southampton. How time sour courtesy; and her fingers were like flies, to be sure! that can't be Polly Talboys, so many sausages, cold and lifeless, when she that bouncing girl standing by her mother at held them out in deference to Mrs. Raw- the cottage there. I remember her a mangy don, who persisted in shaking hands with the little urchin picking weeds in the garden." retired lady's maid. She whirled away into "Fine gal," said Rawdon, returning the Piccadilly, nodding, with the sweetest of salute which the cottage gave him,' by two smiles toward Miss Briggs, who hung nod- fingers applied to his crape hatband. Becky ding at the window close under the adver- bowed and saluted, and recognized people tisement-card, and at the next moment was here and there graciously. Their recogniin the Park with a half dozen of dandies tions were inexpressibly pleasant to her. It cantering after her carriage. seemed as if she was not an impostor any When she found how her fiiend'was more, and was coming to the home of her situated, and how, having a snug legacy firom ancestors. Rawdon was rather abashed and Bliss Crawley, salary was no object to our cast down on the other hand. What recol gentlewoman, Becky instantly formed some lections of boyhood and innocence might benevolent little domestic plans concerning have been flitting across his brain? What her. This was just such a companion as pangs of dim remorse and doubt and shame? would suit her establishment, and she in- "Your sisters must be young women vited Briggs to come to dinner with her that now," Rebecca said, thinking of thbse girls very evening, when she would show her for the first time, perhaps, since she had left dear little darling Rawdon. them." Mrs. Bowls cautioned her lodger against "Don't know, I'm shaw," replied the venturing into the lion's den, "wherein you colonel. " Hullo! here's old Mother Lock. will rue it, Miss B., mark my words, and as How-dy-do, Mrs. Lock. Remember me, sure as my name is Bowls." And Briggs don't you? Master Rawdon, hey? Dampromised to be very cautious. The upshot me how these old women last; she was a of which caution was that she went to live hundred when I was a boy." with Mrs. Rawdon the next week, and had They were going through the lodge-gates lent Rawdon Crawley six hundred pounds kept by old Mrs. Lock, whose hand Rebecupon annuity before six more months were ca insisted upon shaking, as she flung'open over. the creaking old iron gate, and the carriage passed between the two moss-grown pillars surmounted by the dove and serpent. " The governor has cut into the timber," CHAPTER XLI. Rawdon said, looking about, and then was silent-so was Becky. Both of them were WHICH BECKYREVISITS THE HALLS OF rather agitated, and thinking of old times. HER ANCESTORS. He about Eton, and his mother, whom be So the mourning being ready, and Sir remembered, a frigid demure woman, and Pitt Crawley warned of their arrival, Colonel a sister who died, of whom he had been Crawley and his wife took a couple of places passionately fond; and how he used to thrash in the same old highflyer coach, by which Pitt; and about little Rawdy at home. ReRebecca had traveled in the defunct baro- becca thought about her own youth, and net's company, and on her first journey into the dark secrets of those early tainted days; the world some nine years before. How and of her entrance into life by yonder well she remembered the Inn Yard, and gates; and of Miss Pinkerton, and Joe, and the ostler to whom she refused money, and Amelia. the insinuating Cambridge lad who wrapped The gravel walk and terrace had been her in his coat on the journey. Rawdon scraped quite clean. Agrand painted hatchtook his place outside, and would have liked ment was already over the great entuance, I~~~~~~~~~' I.' I'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~' 1 ~ ~ ~ I i i~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~i i ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~,i i. I!... 1,,ljI t, ~... 1 ji i ~/I,,,~,,,, K' ii II; i,Si:4....... i; I!' I~~~~~~ i i,: I i i t~i; -j 1rjj ii //~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~; i'\'orj''' I 1i i riJi,~ ~:,~ ~I i;'ji~filllllll lt l ~~.~ IiiIilitlll'i'" T~I~ A~R~IVAL AT QUE I N'8. CRAWL ~,. itp,gll,} A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 201 and two very solemn and tall personages in taker's men, at least a score, with crapes and black flung open each a leaf of the door as hatbands, and who made a goodly show when the carriage pulled up at the familiar steps. the great burying show took place —but these Rawdon turned red, and Becky somewhat are mute personages in our drama, and havpale, as they passed through the old hall, ing nothing to do or say, need occupy a very arm in arm. She pinched her husband's little space here. arm as they entered the oak parldr, where With regard to her sisters-in-law RebecSir Pitt and his wife were ready to receive ca did not attempt to forget her former pothem. Sir Pitt in black, Lady Jane in sition of governess toward them, but recalled black, and my Lady Southdown with a it firankly and kindly, and asked them about large black head-piece of bugles and feathers, their studies with great gravity, and told them which waved on her ladyship's head like an that she had thought of them many and many undertaker's tray. a day, and longed to know of their welfare. Sir Pitt had judged correctly, that she In fact, you would have supposed that ever would not quit the premises. She content- since she had left them she had not ceased ed herself by preserving a solemn and stony to keep them uppermost in her thoughts, silence, when in company of Pitt and his and to take the tenderest interest in their rebellious wife, by frightening the children welfare. So supposed Lady Crawley herin the nursery by the ghastly gloom of her self and her young sisters. demeanor. Only a very faint bending of "She's hardly changed since eight years," the head-dress and plumes welcomed Raw- said Miss Rosalind to Miss Violet, as they don and his wife, as those prodigals returned were preparing for dinner. to their family. "Those red-haired women look wonderTo say the truth, they were not affected fully well," replied the other. very much one way or other by this cool- "Hers is much darker than it was; I ness. Her ladyship, strange to say, was a think she must dye it," Miss Rosalind addperson only of secondary consideration in ed. " She is stouter, too, and altogether' their minds just then-they were intent improved," continued Miss Rosalind, who upon the reception which the reigning broth- was disposed to be very fat. er and sister would affo'd them. "At least she gives herself no airs, and Pitt with rather a heightened color went remembers that she was our governess up and shook his brother by the hand; and once," Miss Violet said, intimating that it saluted Rebecca with a hand-shake and a befitted all governesses to keep their proper very low bow. But Lady Jane tnlk hoth place, and forgetting altogether that she was the hands of her sister-in-law and kissed grand-daughter not only of Sir Walpole her affectionately. The embrace somehow Crawley, but of Mr. Dawson of Mudbury, brought tears into the eyes of the little ad- and so had a coal-scuttle in her scutcheon. venturess —which ornaments, as we know, There are other very well-meaning people she woi'e very seldom. The artless mark whom one meets every day in Vanity Fair, of kindness and confidence touched and who are surely equally oblivious. pleased her; and Rawdon encouraged by "It can't be true what the girls at the this detnonstration on his sister's part, twirl- Rectory said, that her mother was an operaed up his mustaches, and took leave to salute dancer-" Lady Jane with a kiss, which caused her "A person can't help their birth," Rosaladyship to blush exceedingly. lind replied, with great liberality. " And I'' Dev'lish nice little woman, Lady Jane," agree with our brother, that as she is in the was his verdict, when he and his wife were family, of course we are bound to notice her. together again. "Pitt's got fat too, and is I am sure aunt Bute need not talk: she doing the thing handsomely. "' He can af- wants to marry Kate to young Hooper, the ford it," said Rebecca, and agreed in her wine-merchant. and absolutely asked him to husband's farther opinion, " that the mother- come to the Rectory for orders." in-law was a tremendous old Guy-and that " I wonder whether Lady Southdown will the sisters were rather well-looking young go away, she looked very glum upon Mrs. women. Rawdon," the other said. They, too, had been summoned from "I wish she would. 1 won't read the school to attend the funeral ceremonies. It'LVasherwoman of Finchley Common,'" seemed Sir Pitt Crawley, for the dignity of vowed Violet; and so saying, and avoiding the house and family, had thought right to a passage at the end of which a certain cofhave about the place as many persons in black fin was placed with a couple of watchers, as could possibly be assembled. All the and lights perpetually burning in the closed men and maids of the house, the old women room, these young women came down to the of the Alms House, whom the elder Sir' Pitt family dinner, for which the bell rang as had cheated out of a great portion of their usual. due, the parish clerk's family, and the special But before this, Lady Jane conducted retainers of both Hall and Rectoly were tRebecca to the apartments prepared for her, habited in sable; added to these, the under- which with the rest of the house had as 202- VANITY FAIR. Bumed a very much improved appearance of instruction, touched upon the "Washerorder and comfort during Pitt's regency, and woman of Finchley Common," which she had here beholding that Mrs. Rawdon's modest read with the greatest profit, and asked about little trunks had arrived, and were placed in Lady Emily, its gifted author, now Lady the bed-room and dressing-room adjoining, Emily Hornblower, at Cape Town, where helped her to take off her neat black bonnet her husband had strong hopes of becoming and. cloak, and asked her sister-in-law inwhat bishop of Caffraria..more she could be useful. But she crowned all; and confirmed her"What I should like best," said Rebecca, self in Lady Southdown's favor, by feeling "would be to go to the nursery; and see very much agitated and unwell after the fuyour dear little children." On which the neral, and requesting her ladyship's medical two ladies looked very kindly at each other, advice-which the dowager not only gave, and went to that apartment hand in hand. but, wrapped up in a bed-gown, and looking Becky admired little Matilda, who was more like Lady Macbeth than ever, came not quite four years old, as the most charm- privately in the night to Becky's- room, with ing little love in the world; and the boy, a a parcel of favorite tracts, and a medicine of little fellow of two years-pale, heavy-eyed, her own composition, which she insisted upand large-headed, she pronounced to be a on Mrs. Rawdon should take. perfect prodigy in point of size, intelligence, Becky first accepted the tracts, and began and beauty. to examine them with great interest, engag-' I wish mamma would- not insist on giv- ing the dowager in a conversation concerning ing him so much medicine," Lady Jane said, them and the welfare of her soul, by which with a sigh. " I often think we should all means she hoped that her body might escape be better without it." And then Lady Jane medication. But after the religious topics and her new-found fi'iend had one of those were exhausted, Lady Macbeth would not confidential medical conversations about the quit Becky's chamber until her cup of nightchildren, which all mothers, and most women, drink was emptied too; and poor Mrs. as I am given to understand, delight in. Rawdon was compelled actually to assume a Fifty years ago, and when the present writ- look of gratitude, and to swallow the rledier, being an interesting-little boy, was order- cine under the unyielding old dowager's ed out of the room with the ladies after din- nose, who left her victim finally with a benner, I remember quite well that their talk ediction. was chiefly about their ailments; and putting It did not much comfort Mrs. Rawdon; this question directly to two or three since, her'-untenance was very queer when I have always got from them the acknowl- Rawdon came in and heard what had hapedgmlent that times are not changed. Let pened; and his explosions of laughter were my fair readers remark for themselves this as loud as usual, when Becky, with a fun very evening when they quit the dessert- which she could not disguise, even though table, and assemble to celebrate the drawing- it was at her own expense, described the room mysteries. Well-in half-an-hour occurrence, and how she had been victimized Becky and Lady Jane were close and inti- by Lady Southdown. Lord Steyne, and mate friends-and in the course of the even- her son in London, had many a laugh over ing her ladyship informed Sir Pitt that she the story, when Rawdon and his wife rethought her new sister-in-law was a kind, turned to their quarters in May Fair. Becky frank, unaffected, and affectionate young acted the whole scene for them. She put woman. on a night-cap and gown. She preached a And so having easily won the daughter's great sermon in the true serious manner: good-will, the indefatigable little woman bent she lectured on the virtue of the medicine herself to conciliate the august Lady South- which she pretended to administer, with a down. As soon as she found her ladyship gravity of imitation so perfect, that you would alone, Rebecca attacked her on the nursery have thought it was the countess's own Roquestion at once, and said that her own little m-an nose throughwhich she snuffled. "Give boy was saved, actually saved, by calomel,'us Lady Southdown and the black dose," freely administered, when all the physicians was a constant cry among the folks in Becky's in Paris had given the dear child up. And little drawing room in May Fair. And for then she mentioned how often she had heard the first time in her life the Dowager Counof Lady Southdown firom that excellent man tess of Southdown was made amusing. the Reverend Lawrence Grills, minister of ] Sir Pitt remembered the testimonies of the chapel in May Fair, which she firequent- respect and veneration which Rebecca had ed-and how her views were very much paid personally to himself in early days, and changed by circumstances and misfortunes; was tolerably well disposed toward her. and how she hoped that a past life spent in The marriage, ill-advised as it was, had worldliness and error might not incapacitate improved Rawdon very much —that was her from more serious thought for the future. clear from the colonel's altered habits and She described how in former days she had demeanor-and had it not been a lucky union been indebted to Mr. Crawley for religious as regarded Pitt himself? The cunning A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 203 diplomatist smiled inwardly as he owned havingthe housekeeper'sroom for their place that he owed his fortune to- it, and acknowl- of rendezvous when off duty, where they edged that he at least ought not to cry out played at cards in privacy and' drank their against it. His satisfaction was not re- beer. moved by Rebecca's own statements, behav- The members of tile family and servants ior, and conversation. of the house kept away from the gloomy She doubled the deference which before spot, where the bones of the descendant of had charmed him, calling out his conversa- an ancient line of knights and gentlemen, lay tional powers in such a- manner as quite- to: awaiting their final consignment to the famisurprl ie Pitt himself, who, always inclined ly crypt. No regrets attended them, save to respe(t his own talents, admired them those of the poor woman who had hoped to the more when Rebecca pointed them out be Sir Pitt's wife and widow, and who had to him.'With her sister-in-law, Rebecca; fled in disgrace- from the Hall over which was satisfactorily able to prove, that it was she had so nearly been a ruler. Beyond Mrs. Bute Crawley who brought about the her and a favorite old pointer he had, and marriage which she afterward so calumniat- between whom and himself an attachment ed; that it was Mrs. Bute's avarice-who subsisted during the period of his imbecility, hoped to gain all Miss Crawley's fortune, and the old' man had not a single friend tomourn deprive Rawdon of his aunt's favor-which him, having indeed, during the wvhole course caused and invented all the wicked reports of his life, never taken the least pains to against Rebecca. " She succeeded in mak- secure one. Could the best and kindest of ing us poor," Rebecca said, with an air of us who depart from the earth, hale an opangelical patience; "but how can I be angry portunity of revisiting it, I suppose he or with a woman who has given me one of the she (assuming that any Vanity Fair feelings best husbands in the world? And has not subsist in the sphere whither we are bound) her own avarice been sufficiently punished would have a pang of mortification at finding by the ruin of her own hopes, and the loss how soon our survivors. were consoled. of the property by which she set so: much And go Sir Pitt was forgotten-like the store? Poor i" she cried. "Dear Lady kindest and best of us-only a few weeks Jane, what care we for poverty! I am used sooner. to it from childhood, and I am often thankful Those who will' may follow his remains that Miss Crawley's' money has gone to to the grave, whither they were borne on restore the splendor of the noble old family the appointed day, in the most becoming of which I am so proud to be a member. I manner, the family in black coaches, with ami sure Sir Pitt will- make a much better their handkerchiefs up to their noses, ready use of it than.Rawdon would." for the tears which did not come: the underAll these speeches were reported to Sir taker and his gentlemen in deep tribulation: Pitt by the most faithful of wives, and' the select tenantry mourning out of compliincreased the favorable impression which' ment to the new landlord: the neighboring Rebecca made; so much so, that when' on. gentry's. carriages at three miles an hour, the third' day after the funeral the family empty, and in profound affliction: the parson party were at dinner, Sir Pitt Crawley, speaking' out the formula about " our dear carving fowls at the head of the' table, actu- brother departed." As. long as we have a ally said to Mrs. Rawdon, "Ahem! Rebecca,. man's body, we play our vanities upon it, may I give you a wing?"-a speech which: surrounding it with humbug and ceremonies, made the little woman's- eyes sparkle with laying it in state, and packing it up in gilt pleasure. nails and, velvet; and we finish our duty by placing over it a stone,. written all: over with While Rebecca was prosecuting' the above lies. Bute's curate, a smart- young fellow schemes and hopes, and Pitt Crawley ar- froml Oxford, and Sir Pitt Crawley, comranging the funeral ceremonial~ and- other posed: between them an appropriate Latin matters connected with his' future progress epitaph for the late lamented baronet: and and dignity, and Lady Jane busy with her the formner preached' a classical sermon, exnursery, as far as her mother would let her, horting! the survivors not. to give way to and the sun rising and setting, and the clock- grief, and informing them in the most retower bell of the hall ringing to: dinner and' spectful terms that they also would be one to prayers as usual, the body of the late day called upon to pass that gloomy and owner of Queen's Crawley lay in the apart- mysterious portal which had just closed' upment which he had occupied, watched un- on the remains: of their lamented brother ceasingly by the professional attendants who. Then the tenantry mounted on horseback were engaged for that rite. A woman or again, or staid and refreshed themselves at the two, and three or four undertaker's men,. CrawleyArms. Then, afterlunchin-the serthe best whom Southampton could furnish, vants' hahll at Queen's Crawley, the gentry's dressed in black, and of a proper stealthy carriageswheeled off to their different destiand tragical demeanor, had charge of the nations: then the undertaker's men, taking remains which they watched, turn about, the ropes, palls, velvets, ostrich feathers, and 204 VANITY FAIR. other mortuary properties, clambered up on beyond the palings into the village, descend the roof of the hearse, and rode off to South- ing upon the cottages, with Lady Southampton.. Their faces relapsed into a natu- down's medicine and tracts for the sick peoral expression as the horses, clearing the ple there. Lady Southdown drove out in a lodge-gates, got into a brisker trot on the pony-chaise, when Rebecca would take her open road; and squads of them might have place by the dowager's side, and listen to been seen, speckling with black the public- her solemn talk with the utmost interest. house entrances, with pewter-pots flashing She sang Handel and Haydn to the family in the sunshine. Sir Pitt's invalid-chair of evenings, and engaged in a large piece of was wheeled away into a tool-house in the worsted work, as if she had been born to the garden: the old pointer used to howl some- business, and as if this kind of life was to times at first, but these were the only ac- continue with her until she should sink to cents of grief which were aeard in the Hall the grave in a polite old age, leaving regrets of which Sir Pitt Crawley, baronet, had and a great quantity of Consols behind herbeen master for some three-score years. as if there were notcares and duns, schemes, shifts, and poverty, waiting outside the park As the birds were pretty plentiful, and gates, to pounce upon her when she issued partridge. shooting is as it were the duty of into the world again. an English gentleman of statesman-like pro- "It isn't difficult to be a country gentlepensities, Sir Pitt Crawley, the first shock man's wife," Rebecca thought. "I think of grief over, went out a little and partook I could be a good woman if I had five thouof that diversion in a white hat with a crape sand a year. I could dawdle about in the round it. The sight of those fields of stub- nursery, and count the apricots on the wall. ble and turnips, now his own, give him many I could water plants in a green-house, and secret joys. Sometimes, and with an exqui- pick off dead leaves from the geraniums. site humility, he took no gun, but went out I could ask old women about their rheumawith a peaceful bamboo cane; Rawdon, his tisms, and order half-a-crown's worth of-soup big brother, and the keepers blazing away for the poor. I shouldn't miss it much, out at his side. Pitt's money and acres had a of five thousand a year. I could even drive great effect upon his brother. The penni- out ten miles to dine at a neighbor's, and less colonel became quite obsequious and dress in the fashions of the year befobre last. respectful to the head of his house, and de- I could go to church and keep awake in the spised the milk-sop Pitt no longer. Rawdon great family pew: or go to sleep behind the listened with sympathy to his senior's pros- curtains,,and with my vail down, if I only pects of planting and draining: gave his ad- had practice. I could pay every body, if I vice about the stables and cattle, rode over had but the money. This is what the conto Mudbury to look at a mare which he jurors here pride themselves upon doing. thought would carry Lady Jane, and offered They look down with pity upon us miserato break her. The rebellious dragoon was ble sinners who have none. They think quite humnbled and subdued, and became a themselves generous if they give our chilmost creditable younger brother. He had dren a five-pound note, and us contemptible constant bulletins from Miss Briggs in Lon- if we are without one." And who knows don respecting little Rawdon, who was left but Rebecca was right in her speculationsbehind there: who sent messages of his and that it was only a question of money own. "I am very well," he wrote. "1 hope and fortune which made the difference beyou are very well. I hope mamma is very tween her and an honest woman? If -you well. The pony is very well. Grey takes take temptations into account, who is to say me to ride in the Park. I can canter. I that he is better than his neighbor? A met the little boy who rode before. He comfortable career of prosperity, if it does cried when he cantered. I do not cry." not make people honest, at least keeps them Rawdon read these letters to his brother, so. An alderman coming from a turtle and Lady Jane, who was delighted with feast will not step out of his carriage to steal them. The baronet promised to take charge a leg of mutton; but put him to starve, and of the lad at school; and his kind-hearted see if he will not purloin a loaf. Becky wife gave Rebecca a bank-note, begging her consoled herself by so balancing the chances to buy a present with it for her little ne- and equalizing the distribution of good and phew. evil in the world. One day followed another, and the ladies The old haunts, the old fields and woods, of the house passed their life in those calm the copses, ponds and gardens, the rooms of pursuits and amusements which satisfy the old house where she had spent a couple country ladies. Bells rang to meals, and to of years, seven years ago, were all carefully prayers. The young ladies took exercise revisited by her. She had been young there, on the piano-forte every morning after break- or comparatively so, for she forgot the time fast, Rebecca giving them the benefit of her when she ever was young-but she rememinstruction. Then they put on thick shoes bered her thoughts and feelings seven years and walked in the park and shrubberies, or back, and contrasted them with those which A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO.'205 she had at present, now that she had seen the "How happy you will be co see your world, and lived with great people, and raised darling little boy again," Lady Crawley herself farbeyond heroriginal humble station. said, taking leave of her kinswoman. "I have passed beyond it because I have O, so happy!" said:Rebecca, throwing brains," Becky thought, "and almost all the up the green eyes. She was immensely rest of the world are fools. I could not go happy to be free of the place, and yet loth back, and consort with those people now, to go. Queen's Crawley was abominably whom I used to meet in my father's studio. stupid; and yet the air there was somehow Lords come up to my door with stars and purer than that which she had been accusgarters, instead of poor artists with screws tomed to breathe. Every body had been of tobacco in their pockets. I have a gentle- dull, but had been kind in their way. "It man for my husband, and an earl's daughter is all the influence of a long course of Three for my sister in the very house where I was per Cents.," Becky said to herself, and was little better than a servant a few years ago. right, very likely. But am I much better to do now in the However, the London lamps flashed joyworld than I was when I was the poor fully as the stage rolled into Piccadilly, and painter's daughter, and wheedled the grocer Briggs had made a beautiful fire in Curzonround the corner for sugar and tea? Sup- street, and little Rawdon was up to weloome pose I had married Francis, who was so back his papa and mamma. fond of me- I couldn't have been much poorer than I am now. Heigho! I wish I could exchange my position in society, and all my relations, for a snug sum in the Three CHAPTER XLII. per cent. Consols;" for so it was that Becky felt the vanity of human affairs, and it was in those securities that she would have liked CONSIDERABLE time has elapsed since to cast anchor. we have seen our respectable friend, old It may, perhaps, have struck her that to Mr. Osborne of Russell-square. He has have been honest and humble, to have done not been the happiest of mortals since last her duty, and to have marched straightfor- we met him. Events have occurred which ward on her way, would have brought her have not improved his tempeir, and in more as near happiness as that path by which instances than one he has not been allowed she was striving to attain it. But-just as to have his own way. To be thwarted in the children at Queen's Crawley went round his reasonable desire was always very in the room where the body of their father lay jurious to the old gentleman; and resistance — if ever Becky had these thoughts, she was became doubly exasperating when gout, age, accustomed to walk round them, and not loneliness, and the force of many disaplook in. She eluded them, and despised pointments combined to weigh him down. them-or at least she was committed to the His stiff black hair began to grow quite other path, from which retreat was now white soon after his son's death; his face impossible. And for my part I believe that grew redder; his hands trembled more and remorse is the least active of all a man's more as he poured out his glass of port moral senses-the very easiest to be dead- wine. He led his clerks a dire life in the enod when wakened;- and in some never city: his family at home were not much wakened at all. We grieve at being found happier. I doubt if Rebecca, whom we out, and at the idea of shame or punishment; have seen piously praying for Consols, would but the mere sense of wrong makes very have exchanged her poverty and the darefew people unhappy in Vanity Fair. E. - devil excitement and chances of her life, fox So Rebecca, during her stay at Queen's Osborne's money and the humdrum gloom Crawley, made as many friends of the which enveloped him. He had proposed Mammon of Unrighteousness as she could for Miss Swartz, but had been rejected possibly bring under control. Lady Jane scornfully by the partisans of that lady, and her husband bade her farewell, with who married her to a young sprig of Scotch the warmest demonstrations of good will. nobility. He was a man to have married a They looked forward with pleasure to the woman out of low life, and bullied her time when the family-house in Gaunt-street dreadfully afterward: but no person prebeing repaired and beautified, they were to sented herself suitable to his taste; and inmeet again in London. Lady Southdown stead, he tyrannized over his unmarried made her up a packet of medicine, and sent daughter at home. She had a fine carliage a letter by her to the Rev. Lawrence Grills, and fine horses, and sate at the head of a exhorting that gentleman to save the brand table loaded with the grandest plate. She who "honored" the letter from the burning. had a check-book, a prize footman to follow Pitt accompanied them with'four horses in her when she walked, unlimited credit, and the carriage to Mudbury, having sent on bows and compliments fiom all the tradestheir baggage in a cart previously, accom- men, and all the appurtenances of an-heiress; panied with loads of game. but she spent a woful time. The little char 006 VANITY FAIR. ity-gir]s at the Foundling, the sweeperess at square, where the business took place. The the crossing, the poorest under-kitchen maid nobs of the West End" were invited, in the servants'-hall, was happy compared and many of them signed the book. Mr. to that unfortunate -and now middle-aged Mango and Lady Mary Mango were there, young lady. with the dear young Gwendoline and GuinFrederic Bullock, Esq., of the house of ever Mango as bridesmaids; Colonel BludBullock, Hulker, and Bullock, had married yer of the Dragoon Guards (eldest son of Maria -Osborne, not without a great deal of the house of Bludyer Brothers, Mincingdifficulty and grumbling on Mr. Bullock's lane), another cousin-of the bridegroom, and -part. George being dead, and cut out of the Honorable Mrs. Bludyer; the Honorhis father's will, Frederic insisted.that the able George Boulter, Lord Levant's son, -half of the old gentleman's property should and his lady, Miss Mango that was; Lord be settled upon his Maria, and indeed, for a Viscount Castletoddy; Honorable James long time, refused "Cto come to the scratch" McMull and Mrs. McMull (formerly Miss (it was Mr. Frederic's own expression) on Swartz), and a host of fashionables, who any other terms. Osborne said Fred. had have all married into Lombard-street, and agreed to take his daughter with twenty done a great deal-to ennoble Cornhill. thousand, and he should bind himself to no The young couple had a house near more. "Fred. night take it, and welcome, Berkeley-square, and a small villa at Roeor leave it, and go and be hanged." Fred., hampton, among the banking colony there. whose hopes had been raised when George Fred. was considered to have made rather a had been disinherited, thought himself in- mesalliance by the ladies of his family, famously swindled by the old merchant, whose grandfather had been in a Charity and for some time made as if he would School, and who were allied through the break off the match altogether. Osborne husbands with some of the best blood in:withdrew his account fi'om Bullock and England. And Maria was bound, by supeHulker's, went on Change with a horse- tior pride and great care in the composition whip, which he swore he would lay across of her visiting-book, to make up for the dethie back of a certain scoundrel that should fects of birth; and felt it her duty to see be nameless, and demeaned himself in his her father and sister as little as possible. usual violent manner. Jane Osborne con- That she should utterly break with the doled with her sister Maria during this famn- old man, who had still so many scores of ily feud. "' I always told you, Maria, that thousand pounds to give away, is absurd to it was your money he loved, and not you," suppose. Fred. Bullock would never allow she said soothingly. her to do that. But she was still young "He selected me -and my money at any and incapable of hiding her feelings: and rate: he didn't choose you and yours," re- by inviting her papa and sister to her thirdplied Maria, tossing up her head. rate parties, and behaving very coldly to -'The rupture was, however, only tempo- them when they came, and by avoiding rarl. Fred.'s father and senior partners Russell-square, and indiscreetly begging her counseled him to take Maria, even with the father to quit that odious vulgar place; she ]twenty thousand settled, half down, and did more harm than all Frederic's diplohalf'at the death of Mr. Osborne, with the macy could repair, and periled her chance chances of the further division of the prop- of her inheritance like a giddy, heedless erty. So he "knuckled down," again to creature as she was. use his own phrase; and sent old Hulker "So Russell-square is not good enough with peaceable overtures to Osborne. It for Mrs. Maria, hay?" said the old gentlewavs his father, he said, who would not hear man, rattling up the carriage-windows, as he of the match, and had made the difficulties; and his daughter drove away one night from he was most anxious to keep the engage- Mrs. Frederic Bullock's, after dinner. "6 o ment. The excuse was sulkily accepted by she invites her father and sister to a second Mr. Osborne. Hulker and Bullock were a day's dinner (if those sides, or ontrys, as she high family of the city aristocracy, and con- calls'em, wern't served yesterdai.y, I'm nected with the " nobs" at the West End. d-d), and to meet city folks and littery men, It was something for the old man to be able and keeps the earls, and the ladies, and the to say, "My son, sir, of the house of Hulker, honorables to herself. /Honorables? Damn Bullock, & Co., sir; my daughter's cousin, honorables. I am a plain British merchant, Lady Mary Mango, sir, daughter of the I am: and could buy the beggarly hounds Right Hon. the Earl of Castlemouldy." In over and over. Lords, indeed!-why, at his imagination he saw his house peopled by one of her swarreys I saw one of'em speak the nobs." So he forgave young Bullock, to a dam fiddler-a fellar I despise. And and consented that the marriage should take they won't come to Russell-square, won't place. they? Why, I'll lay my life I've got a betIt was a grand affair —the bridegroom's ter glass of wine, and pay a better figure for relatives giving the breakfast, their habita- it, and can show a handsomer service of siltions being near St. George's Hanover- ver, and can lay a better dinner on my ma A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 207 hogauly than ever they see on theirs —the grand piano, and ventured to play a few cringing, sneaking, stuck-up fools. Drive on -notes on it, it sounded with a mournful sadquick, James; I want to get back to Russell- ness, startling the dismal echoes of the square —ha, ha!" and he sank back into the house. George's picture was gone, and laid corner with a furious laugh. With such up-stairs in a lumber-room in the garret; reflections on his own superior merits, itwas and though there was a consciousness of the custom of the old gentleman not unfre- him, and father and daughter often instinctquently to console himself. ively knew that they were thinking of him, Jane Osborne could not but concur in these no mention was ever made of the brave and opinions respecting her sister's conduct; and once darling son. when Mrs. Frederic's first-born, Frederic At five o'clock Mr. Osborne came back to Augustus Howard Stanley Devereux Bul- his dinner, which he and his daughter took lock, was born, old Osborne, who was in- in silence (seldom broken except when he vited to the christening and to be godfather, swore and was savage, if the cooking was contented himself with sending the child a. not to his liking), or which they shared gold cup, with twenty guineas inside it for twice in a month with a party of dismal the nurse. " That's more than any of your fiiends of Osborne's rank and age. Old Dr. lords will give, I'll warrant," he said, and Gulp and his lady, fiom Bloomsbury-square: refused to attend at the ceremony. old Mr. Frowser, the attorney, from BedThe splendor of the gift, however, caused ford-row, a very great man, and from his great satisfaction to the house of Bullock. business, hand-in-glove with the " nobs at the Maria thought that her father was very West End:" old Colonel Livermore of the much pleased with her, and Frederic argued Bombay Army, and Mrs. Livermore, from the best for his little son and heir. Upper Bedford-place: old Seijeant Toffy, One can fancy the pangs with which Miss and Mrs. Toffy; and sometimes old Sir Osborne in her solitude in Russell-square Thomas Coffin and Lady Coffin, from Bedread the "'lMorningPost," where her sister's ford-square. Sir Thomas was celebrated as name occurred every now and then, in the a hanging judge, and the particular tawny articles headed " Fashionable Reunions," port was produced when he dined with Mr. and where she had an opportunity of reading Osborne. a description of Mrs. F. Bullock's costume, These people and their like gave the when presented at the drawing-room by pompous Russell-square merchant pompous Lady Frederica Bullock. Jane's own life, dinners back again. They had solemn rubas we -have said, admitted of no such grand- burs of whist, when they went up stairs after eur. It was an awful existence. She had drinking, and their carriages were called at to get up of black winter's mornings to make half-past ten. Many rich people, whom we breakfast for her scowling old:father, who poor devils are in the habit of envying, lead would:have turned the whole house out of contentedly an existence like that above dedoors if his tea had not been Beady at half- scribed. Jane Osborne scarcely ever met a past eight. She remained silent opposite to man under sixty, and almost the only bachhim, listening to the urn hissing, and sitting elor who appeared in their society was Mr. in tremor while the parent read his paper, Smirk. the celebrated lady's doctor. and consumed his accustomed portion of I can't say that nothing had occurred to muffins and tea. At half-past nine he rose disturb the monotony of this awful existence: and went to the city, and she was almost the fact is, there had been a secret in poor free till dinner-time, to make visitations in Jane's life which had made her father more the kitchen and to scold the servants: to savage and morose than even:nature, pride, drive abroad and descend upon the trades- and over-feeding had made him. This semen, who were prodigiously respectful: to cret was connected with Miss Wirt, who had leave her cards and her papa's at the great a cousin, an artist, Mr. Smee, very celebrated glum, respectable houses of their city friends; since as a portrait painter and R.A., but who or to sit alone in the large drawing-room, ex- once was glad enough to give drawing-lessons pecting visitors; and working at a huge piece to ladies of fashion. Mr. Smee has forgotten of worsted by the fire, on the sofa, hard by where Russell-square is now, but he was the great Iphigenia clock, which ticked and glad enough to visit it in the year 1818, when tolled with mournful loudness in the dreary Miss Osborne had instruction from him. room. The great glass over the mantel- Smee (formerly a pupil of Sharpe, of piece, faced by the other great console glass Frith-street, a dissolute, irregular, and unat the opposite end of the room, increased successful man, but a man with great knowland multiplied between them the brown edge of his art), being the cousin of Miss Holland bag in which the chandelier hung; Wirt, we say, and introduced by her to Miss until you saw these brown Holland bags Osborne, whose hand and heart were still fading away in endless perspectives, and this free after various incomplete love afrfairs, felt apartment of Miss Osborine's seemed the a great attachment for this lady, and, it is center of a system of drawing-rooms. When believed, inspired one in her bosom. Miss she removed the cordovan leather from the Wirt was the confidante of this intrigue. 208 VANITY FAIR. know not whether she used to leave the affairs; how she was living with her father room where the master and his pupil were and mother: how poor they were: how painting, in order to give them an opportu- they wondered what men, and such men as nity for exchanging those vows and senti- their brother and dear Captain Osborne, ments which can not be Uttered advanta- could find in such an insignificant little chit: geously in the presence of a third party: I how she was still, as heretofore, a nambyknow not whether she hoped that, should pamby, milk and-water, affected creatureher cousin succeed in carrying off the rich but how the boy was really the noblest little merchant's daughter4 he would give Miss boy ever seen-for the hearts of all women VJirt a portion of the wealth, which she had warm toward young children, and the sourenabled him to win-all that is certain is, est spinster is kind to them. that Mr. Osborne got some hint of the trans- One day, after great entreaties on the part action, came back to the city abruptly, and of the Misses Dobbin, Amelia allowed little entered the drawing room with his bamboo George to go and pass a day with them at cane; found the painter, the pupil, and the Denmark Hill-a part of which -day she companion all looking exceedingly pale there; spent herself in writing to the major in Inturned the former out of doors with menaces dia. She congratulated him on the happy that lie would break every bone in his skin, news which his sisters had just conveyed to and half an hour afterward dismissed Miss her. She prayed for his prosperity and Wirt likewise, kicking her trunks down that of the bride he had chosen. She thankstairs, trampling on her band-boxes, and ed him for a thousand thousand kind offices shaking his fist. at her hackney coach, as it and proofs of steadfast friendship to her in bore her away. her affliction. She told him the last news Jane Osborne kept her bed-room for about little Georgy, and how he was gone to many days. She was not allowed to have a spend that very day with his sisters in the companion afterward. Her father swore to country. She underlined the letter a great tier that she should not have a shilling of his deal, and she signed herself affectionately money if she made any match without his his friend, Amelia Osborne. She forgot to concurrence; and as he wanted a woman to send any message of kindness to Lady keep his house, he did not choose that she O'Dowd, as her wont was-and did not menshould manrry: so that she was obliged to tion Glorvina by name, and only in italics, give up all projects with which Cupid had as the major's bride, for whom she begged anyshare. Duringher papa's life, then, she blessings. But the news of the marriage resigped herself to the manner of exist- removed the reserve which she had kept up ence:here described, and was content to be toward him. She was glad to be able to an old maid. IHer sister, meanwhile, was own and feel how warmly and gratefully she having children with finer names every year regarded him-and as for the idea of being -and the intercourse between the two jealous of Glorvina (Glorvina, indeed!), grew fainter continually. " Jane and I do Amelia woutld have scouted it, if an angel not move in the same sphere of life," Mrs. from Heaven had hinted it to her. Bullock said. " I regard her as a sister, of That night, when Georgy came back in courlse" -which means-what does it mean the pony-carriage in which he rejoiced, and when a lady says that she regards Jane as in which he was driven by Sir William Doba sister? bin's old coachman, he had round his neck a fine gold chain' and watch. He said an old It has been described how the Misses lady, not pretty, had given it him, who cried Dobbin lived with their father at a fine villa and kissed him a great deal. But he didn't at Denmark Hill, where there were beauti- like her. He liked grapes very much. And ful graperies and peach-trees which delight- he only liked his mamma. Amelia shrunk ed little Georgy Osborne. The Misses Dob- and started: the timid soul felt a presentibin, who drove often to Brompton to see our ment of terror, when she heard that the' dear Amelia, came sometimes to Russell- relations of the child's father had seen him. square too, to pay a visit to their old ac- Miss Osborne came back to give her fa quaintance, Miss Osborne. I believe it was ther his dinner. He had made a good specin consequence of the commands of their ulation in the city, and was rather in a good brother, the major, in India (for whom their humor that day, and chanced to remark the papa had a prodigious respect), that they agitation under which she labored. "What's paid attention to Mrs. George; for the ma- the matter, Miss Osborne?" he deigned to say jor, the god-father and guardian of Amelia's The woman burst into tears.' O, sir," little boy, still hoped that the child's grand- she said,' "I've seen little little George. He father might be induced to relent toward is as beautiful as an angel —and so like him i" hi117, and acknowledge him for the sake of The old man opposite to her did not say a his son. The Misses Dobbin kept Miss Os- word, but flushed up, and began to tretble borne acquainted with the state of Amelia's in every limb. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 209 CHAPTER XLI1I. domineering. She intertered with a little N WNUIC(I THE READER rHAS TO DOUBLE congregation which Mrs. Kirk had got up, THE CAPE. and laughed the young men away from her sermons, stating that a soldier's wife had no THE astonished reader must be called business to be a parson: that Mrs. Kirk upon to transporthimself ten thousand miles would be much better mending her husto the military station of Bundlegunge, in band's clothes: and that if the regiment the Madras division of our Indian empire, wanted sermons, she had the finest in the where our gallantold friends of the -th regi- world, those of her uncle, the dean. She ment are quartered under the command of abruptly put a termination to a flirtation the brave Colonel, Sir Michael O'Dowd. which Lieutenant Stubble of the regiment Time has dealt kindly with that stout officer, had commenced with the surgeon's wife, as it does ordinarily with men who have threatening to come down upon Stubble for good stomachs and good tempers, and are the money which he had borrowed from not perplexed overmuch by fatigue of the her (for the young fellow was still of an exbrain. The colonel plays a good knife and travagant turn) unless he broke off at once fork at tiffin, and resumes those weapons and went to the Cape, on sick leave. On with great success at dinner. He smokes the other hand, she housed and sheltered his hookah after both meals, puffs away as Mrs. Pesky who fled from her bungalow quietly while his wife scolds him, as he did one night, pursued by her infuriate husband, under the fire of the French at Wa'terloo. wielding his second brandy bottle, and acAge and heat have not diminished the activi- tually carried Posky through the delirium ty or the eloquence of the descendant of the tremens, and broke him of the habit of Malonys and the Molloys. Her ladyship, drinking, which had grown upon that officer our old acquaintance, is as much at home at as all evil habits will grow upon men. In a Madras as at Brussels, in the cantonmentas word, in adversity she was the best of comunder the tents. On the march you saw forters, in good fortune the most troubleher at the head of the regiment seated on a some of friends; having a perfectly good royal elephant, a noble sight. Mounted on opinion of herself always, and an indomitable that beast, she has been into action with resolution to have her own way. tigers in the jungle: she has been received Among other points, she had made up by native princes, who have welcomed her her mind that Glorvina should marry our old and Glorvina into the recesses of their zena- friend Dobbin. Mrs. O'Dowd knew the nas, and offered her shawls and jewels major's expectations and appreciated his which it went to her heart to refuse. The good qualities, and the high character which sentries of all arms salute her wherever she he enjoyed in his profession. Glorvina, a makes her appearance: and she touches very handsome, fresh-colored, black-haired, her hat gravely to their salutation. Lady blue-eyed young lady, who could ride a O'Dowd is one of the-greatest ladies in the horse, or play a sonatta with any girl out of Presidency of Madras-her quarrel with the County Cork, seemed to be the very Lady Smith, wife of Sir Minos Smith, the person destined to insure Dobbin's happipuisne judge, is still remembered by some ness-much store than that " poor good at Madras, when the colonel's lady snapped little weak-spurt'd Amelia," about whom he her fingers in the judge's lady's face, and used to take on so. —" Look at Glorvina en.said she'd never stir a foot before ever a ter a room," Mrs. O'Dowd would say, "and beggarly civilian. Even now, though it is compare her with that poor Mrs. Osborne, five-and-twenty years ago, people remember who couldn't say Bo to a goose. She'd be Lady O'Dowd dancing a jig at Government worthy of you, major-you're a quiet man House, where she danced down two aids- yourself, and want some one to talk for ye. de-camp, a major of Madras cavalry and two And though she does not come of such good gentlemen of the Civil Service; and, per- blood as the Malonys or Molloys, let me tell suaded by Major Dobbin, C.B., second in ye, she's of an ancient family that any noblecommand of the -th, to retire to the supper man might be proud to marry into." room, lassata nondum satiatc recessit. But before she had come to such a resoPeggy O'Dowd is indeed the same as lution, and determined to subjugate Major ever: kind in act and thought: impetuous Dobbin by her endearments, it must be in temper: eager to command: a tyrant owned that Glorvina had practiced them a over her Michael: a dragon among all the good deal elsewhere. She had had a season ladies of the regiment: a mother to all the in Dublin, and who knows how many in young men, whom she tends in their sick- Cork, Killarney, and Mallow? She had ness, defends in all their scrapes, and with flirted with all the marriageable officers whom Lady Peggy is immensely popular. whom the dep6ts of her country afforded But the subalterns' and captains' ladies (the and all the bachelor squires who seemoe major is unmarried) cabal against her a good eligible. She had been engaged to be mar deal. They say that Glorvina gives herself ried a half score times in Ireland, besides airs, and that Peggy herself is intolerably the clergyman at Bath who used her so ill 0 2110 VANITY FAIR. She had flirted all the way to Madras with that the major's sisters in England should the captain and chief mate of the Ramchutrd- I fancy they were about to have a sister-iner East Indiaman, and had a season at the law. Presidency with her brother and Mrs. Dobbin, who was thus vigorously besieged, O'Dowd who was staying there, while the was in the mean while in a state of the most major of the regiment was in command at odious tranquillity. He used to laugh when the station. Every body admired her there: the young fellows of the regiment joked him every body danced with her: but no one about Glorvina's manifest attentions to him. proposed who was worth the marrying; one " Bah!" said he, "she is only keeping her or two exceedingly young subalterns sighed hand in-she practices upon me as she does after her, and a beardless civilian or two; upon Mrs. Tozer's piano, because it's the but she rejected these as beneath her pre- most handy instrument in the station. I am tensions; and other and younger virgins much too battered and old for such a fine than Glorvina were married before her. young lady as Glorvina." And so he went There are women, and handsome women on riding with her, and copying music and too, who have this fortune in life. They verses into her albums, and playing at chess fall in love with the utmost generosity; they with her very submissively; for it is with ride and walk with half the army-list, these simple amusements that some officers though they draw near to forty, and yet in India are accustomed to while away their the Miss O'Gradys are Miss O'Gradys still: leisure moments; while others of a less doGlorvina persisted that but for Lady 0'- mestic turn hunt hogs, and shoot snipes, or Dowd's unlucky quarrel with the Judge's gamble and smoke cheroots, and betake lady, she would have made a good match at themselves to brandy-and-water. As for Madras, where old Mr. Chutney, who was Sir Michael O'Dowd, though his lady and at the'head of the civil service (and who. her sister both urged him to call upon the afterward married Miss Dolby, a young major to explain himself, and not keep on lady, only thirteen years of age, who had torturing a poor innocent girl in that shamejust arrived from school in Europe), was ful way; the old soldier refused point-blank just at the point of proposing to her. to have any thing to do with the conspiracy.'Well, although Lady O'Dowd and Glor- -"'Faith, the major's big enough to choose vina quarreled a great number of times every for himself," Sir Michael said; "he'll ask day, and upon almost every conceivable sub- ye when he wants ye;"-or else he would ject — indeed, if Mick O'Dowd had not pos- tuln the matter off jocularly, declaring " that sessed the temper of an angel, two such Dobbin was too young to keep house, and women constantly about his ears would have had written home to ask lave of his mamma." driven him out of his senses-yet they agreed Nay, he went farther, and in private combetween themselves on this point, that Glor- munications with his major, would caution vina should marry Major Dobbin, and were and rally him-crying, "Mind your oi, Dob, determined that the major should have no my boy, them girls are bent on mischiefrest until the arrangement was brought about. my lady has just got a box of gowns firom Undismayed \by forty or fifty previous de- Europe, and there's a pink satin for Glorvina, feats, Glorvina laid siege to him. She sang which will finish ye, Dob, if it's in the power Irish Melodies at him unceasingly. She of woman or satin to move ye." asked him so frequently and pathetically, But the truth is, neither beauty nor fashwili ye come to the bower? that it is a won- ion could conquer him. Our honest friend der how any man of feeling could have re- had but one idea of a woman in his head, sisted the invitation. She was never tired and that one did not in the least resemble of inquiring, if sorrow had his young days Miss Glorvina O'Dowd in pink satin. A faded; and was ready to listen and weep gentle little woman in black, with large eyes like Desdemnona at the stories of his dangers and brown hair, seldom speaking, save when and his campaigns. It has been said that spoken to, and then in a voice not in the our honest and dear old friend used to per- least resembling Miss Glorvina's —a soft form on the flute in private: Glorvina insist- young mother tending an infant and beckoned upon having duets with him, and Lady ing the major up with a smile to look at him O'Dowd would rise and artlessly quit the -a rosy-cheeked lass coming singing into room, when the young couple were so en- the room in Russell-square or hanging on gaged. Glorvina forced the major to ride George Osborne's arm, happy and lovingwith her of mornings. The whole canton- there was but this image that filled our honment saw them set out and return. She est major's mind by day and by night, and was constantly writing notes over to him at reigned over it always. Very likely Amehis house, borrowing his books, and sc-ring lia was not like the portrait the major had with her great pencil-marks such passages formed of her: there was a figure in a book of sentiment or humor as awakened her sym- of fashions which his sisters had in England, pathy. She borrowed his horses, his serv- and with which William had made away ants, his spoons, and palanquin;-no wonder privately, pasting it into the lid of his desk, that public rumor assigned her to him, and and fancying he saw some resemblance to A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 211 Mrs. Osborn e in the print, whereas I have high road to forty, to know how many snipes seen it, and can vouch that it is but the pic- Lieutenant Smith had shot, or what were ture of a high-waisted gown with an impossi- the performances of Ensign Brown's mare? hide doll's face simpering over it-and, per- The jokes about the table filled him with haps, Mr. Dobbin's sentimental Amelia was shame. He was too old to listen to the banno more like the real one than this absurd ter of the assistant-surgeon, and the slang little print which he cherished. But what of the youngsters, at which old O'Dowd, man in love, of us, is better informed?-or with his bald head and red face, laughed is he much happier when he sees'and owns quite easily. The old man had listened to his delusion? Dobbin was under this spell. those jokes any time these thirty yearsHe did not bother his friends and the public Dobbin himself had been fifteen years hearmuch about his feelings, or indeed lose his ingthem. And after the boisterous dullness natural zest or appetite on account of them. of the mess-table, the quarrels and scandal His head has grizzled since we saw him last; of the ladies of the regiment! It was unand a line or two of silver may be seen in bearable, shameful. " O Amelia, Amelia," the soft brown hair likewise. But his feel- he thought, "you to whom I have been so ings are not in the least changed or oldened; faithful-you reproach me! It is because and his love remains as fresh, as a man's you can not feel for me, that I drag on this recollections of boyhood are. wearisome life. And you reward me, after We have said how the two Miss Dobbins years of devotion, by giving me your blessand Amelia, the major's correspondents in ing upon my marriage, forsooth, with this Europe, wrote him letters from England; flaunting TIish girl!" Sick and sorry felt Mrs. Osborne congratulating him with great poor William: more than ever wretched candor and cordiality upon his approaching and lonely. He would like to have done nuptials with Miss O'Dowd. with life and its vanity altogether-so boot"Your sister has just kindly visited me," less and unsatisfactory the struggle, so Amelia wrote in her letter, "and informed cheerless and dreary the prospect, seemed me of an interesting event, upon which I beg to him. He lay all that night sleepless, and to offer my most sincere congratulations.'I yearning to go home. Amelia's letter had hope the young lady to whom I hear you fallen as a blank upon him. No fidelity, no are to be united will in every respect prove constant truth and passion, could move her worthy of one who is himself all kindness into warmth. She would not see that he and goodness. The poor widow has only loved her. Tossing in his bed, he spoke out her prayers to offer, and her cordial wishes to her. "Good God, Amelia!" he said, for your prosperity! Geol]gy sends his love " don't you know that I only love you in the to his dear godpapa, and hopes that you will world-you, who are a stone to me-you, not forget him. I tell him that you are about whom I tended through months and months to form other ties, with one who I am sure of illness and grief, and who bade me faremerits all your affection, but that although well wvith a smile on your face, and forgot such ties must of course be the strongest and me before the door shut between us!" The most sacred, and supersede all others, yet native servants lying outside his verandahs that I am sure the widow and the child beheld with wonder the major, so cold and whom you have ever protected and loved quiet ordinarily, at present so passionately will always have a corner in your heart." moved and cast down. Would she have The letter, which has been before alluded pitied him had she seen him? He read to, went on in this strain, protesting through- over and over all the letters which he ever out as to the extreme satisfaction of the had from her-letters of business relative to writer. the little property which he had made her This letter,. which arrived by the very believe her husband had left to her-brief same shipw-vhichbbrought out Lady O'Dowd's notes of invitation-every scrap of writing box of millinery fiom London (and which that she had ever sent to him-how cold, you may be sure Dobbin opened before any how kind, how hopeless, how selfish, they one of the other packets which the mail were! brought him), put the receiver into such a Had there been some kind, gentle soul state of mind, that Glorvina, and her pink near at hand, who could read and apprecisatin, and every thing belonging to her, be- ate this silent, generous heart, who knows came perfectly odious to him. The major but that the reign of Amelia might have cursed the -talk of women, and the sex in been over, and that fiiend William's love general. Every thing annoyed him that might have flowed into a kinder channel? day-the parade was insufferably hot and But there was only Glorvina of the jetty wearisome. Good heavens! was a man of ringlets with whom his intercourse was faintellect to waste his life, day after day, in- miliar, and this dashing young woman was specting cross-belts, and putting fools through not bent upon loving the major, but rather their manceuvres? The senseless chatter on making the major admire her-a most of the young men at mess was more than vain and hopeless task, too, at least considerever jarring. What cared he, a man on the ing the means that the poor girll possessed 212 VANITY FAIR. to carry it out. She curled her hair and in reply to that lady, undeceiving her with showed her shoulders at him, as much as to respect to the reports concerning him, and say, Did ye ever see such jet ringlets and assuring her that "he had no sort of present such a complexion? She grinned at him so intention of altering his condition." that he might see that every tooth in her Two or three nights after the arrival of head was sound-and he never heeded all the second package of letters, the major had these charms, Very soon after the arrival passed the evening pretty cheerfully at Lady of the box of millinery, and perhaps, indeed, O'Dowd's house, where Glorvina thought;n honor of it, Lady O'Dowd and the ladies that he listened with rather more attention of the King's Regiment gave a ball to the than usual to the Meeting of the Wathers Company's Regiments and the civilians at the Minsthrel Boy, and one or two other the station. Glorvina sported the killing specimens of song with which she favored pink frock, and the major, who attended the him (the truth is, he was no more listening party and walked very ruefully up and down to Glorvina than to the howling of the jackals the rooms, never so much as perceived the in the moonlight outside, and the delusion pink garment. Glorvina danced past him in was hers as usual), and having played his a fury with all the young subalterns of the game at chess with her (cribbage with the station, and the major was not in the least surgeon was Lady O'Dowd's favorite evening jealous of her performance, or angry because pastime), Major Dobbin took leave of the Captain Bangles of the cavalry handed her colonel's family at his usual hour and retired to supper. It was not jealousy, or firocks, or to his own house. shoulders, that could move him, and Glorvina There, on his table, his sister's letter lay had nothing more. reproaching him. He took it up, ashamed So those two were each exemplifying the rather of his negligence regarding it, and vanity of this life, and each longing for what prepared himiself for a disagreeable hour's he or she could not get. Glorvina cried with communing with that crabbed-handed absent rage at the failure. She had set her mind relative..... It may have been an hour on the major "more than on any of the after the major's departureffrom the colonel's others," she owned, sobbing. "He'll break house-Sir Michaelwas sleeping the sleep my heart, he will, Peggy," she would whim- of the just; Glorvina had arranged her black per to her sister-in-law when they were ringlets in the innumerable little bits of paper good friends; " sure every one of my frocks in which it was her habit to confine them; must be taken in-it's such a skeleton I'm Lady O'Dowd, too, had gone to her bed in growing." Fat or thin, laughing or melan- the nuptial chamber, on the ground-floor, and choly, on horseback or the music-stool, it had tucked her musquito curtains round her was all the same to the major. And the fair form, when the guard at the gates of the colonel, puffing his pipe and listening to commanding-officer's compound, beheld Mathese complaints, would suggest that Glory jor Dobbin, in the moonlight, rushing toward should have some black frocks out in the the house with a swift step and a very aginext box fiom London, and told a mysteri- tated countenance, and he passed the sentious story of a lady in Ireland who died of nel and went up to the windows of the grief for the loss of her husband before she colonel's bed-chamber. got e'er a one. "O'Dowd-colonel!" said Dobbin, and While the major was going on in this tan- kept up a great shouting. talizing way, not proposing, and declining to "Heavens, meejor!" said Glorvina of the fall in love, there came another ship from curl-papers, putting out her head, too, from Europe bringing letters on board, and among her window. them some more for the heartless man. "What is it, Dob, me boy?" said the coloThese were home letters bearing an earlier nel, expecting there was a fire in the station, post mark than that of the former packets, or that the route had come from head quarand as Major Dobbin recognized among his, ters. the handwriting of his sister, who always "I-I must have leave of absence. I crossed and recrossed her letters to her must go to England-on the most urgent brother-gathered together all the possible private affairs," Dobbin said. bad news which she could collect, abused "Good heavens! what has happened!" him and read him lectures with sisterly thought Glorvina, trembling with all the frankness, and always left him miserable for papillotes. the day after'" dearest William " bhad achiev- "I want to be off-now-to-night," Dobed the perusal of one of her epistles-the bin continued; and the colonel, getting up, truth must be told that, "dearest William " came out to. parley with him. did not hulry himself to break the seal of In the postscript of Miss Dobbin's cross Miss Dobbin's letter, but waited for a par- letter-the major had just come upon a ticularly favorable day arid mood for doing so. paragraph, to the following effect: 1" I drove A fortnight before, moreover, he had written yesterday to see your old acquaintance, Mrs. to scold her for telling those absurd stories Osborne. The wretched place they live at to Mrs. Osborne, and had dispatched a letter since they were bankrupts, you know-Mr. ~~~~~~~~~~~....~:/.....' EIT i/ ( "5 < (~~LCRVINAj~ TRIE IR AINJiON NTE AOR( A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 213 S., to judge from a brass plate on the door Mrs. Rawdon Crawley was general-inAf his hut (it is little better), is a coal mer- chief over these arrangements, with full Ohant. The little boy, your godson, is orders from Sir Pitt to sell, barter, confiscertainly a fine child, though forward, and cate, or purchase furniture: and she enjoyinclined to be saucy and self-willed. But ed herself not a little in an occupation which we have taken notice of him as you wish it, gave full scope to her taste and ingenuity. and have introduced him to his aunt, Miss The renovation of the house was determin0., who was rather pleased with him. Per- ed upon when Sir Pitt came to town in Nohais his grandpapa, not the bankrupt one, vember to see his lawyers, and when he who is almost doting, but Mr. Osborne, of passed nearly a week in Curzon-street, unRussel-square, may be induced to relent der the ijoof of his affectionate brother and toward the child of your friend, his erring sister. and self-willed son. And Amelia will not He had put up at an hotel at first; but, be ill-disposed to give him up. The widow Becky, as soon as she heard of the baronet's is consoled, and is about to marry a reverend arrival, went off alone to greet him, and regentleman, the Rev. Mr. Binney, one of the turned in an hour to Curzon-street, with Sir curates of Brompton. A poor match. But Pitt in the carriage by her side. It was Mrs. 0. is getting old, and I saw a great deal impossible sometimes to resist this artless of gray in her hair-she was in very good little creature's hospitalities, so kindly were spirits; and your little godson over-ate him- they pressed, so frankly and amiably offerself at our house. Mamma sends her love ed. Becky seized Pitt's hand in a transport with that of your affectionate, of gratitude, when he agreed to come. "ANN DOBBIN." "Thank you," she said, squeezing it, and looking into the baronet's eyes, who blushed a good deal; "how happy this will make Rawdon." She bustled about to Pitt's bedCHAPTER XLI1V. room, leading on the servants, who were A ROUrNDABOUT CHAPTER BETWEEN LO~N- carrying his trunks thither. She came in herself laughing, with a coal-scuttle out of DON AND HAMPSHIRE. her own room. OuR old friends the Crawleys' family A fire was blazing already in Sir Pitt's house, in Great Gaunt-street, still bore over apartment (it was Miss Briggs' room, by the its front the hatchment which had been way, who was sent up-stairs to sleep with placed there as a token of mourning for Sir the maid). "I knew I should bring you," Pitt Crawley's demise, yet this heraldic she said, with pleasure beaming in her emblem was in itself a very splendid and glance. Indeed, she was really and sinceregaudy piece of furniture, and all the rest of ly happy at having him for a guest. the mansion became more brilliant than it Becky made Rawdon dine out once or had ever been during the late baronet's twice on business, while Pitt staid with reign. The black outer-coating of the bricks them, and the baronet passed the happy was removed and they appeared with a evening alone with her and Briggs. She cheerful blushing face streaked with white:`went down stairs to the kitchen and actually the old bronze lions of the knocker were gilt cooked little dishes for him. "Isn't it a handsomely, the railings painted, and the good salmni?" she said; " I made it for you. dismalest house in Great Gaunt-street, be- I can make better dishes than that; and will came the smartest in the whole quarter, be- when you come to see me." fore the green leaves in Hampshire had re- "Every thing you do, you do well," said placed those yellowing ones which were on the baronet, gallantly. " The salmi is excelthe trees in Queen's Crawley avenue when lent indeed." cd Sir Pitt Crawley passed under them for "A poor man's wife," Rebecca replied the last time. gayly, "must make herself useful, you A little woman, with a carriage to corres- know:'.' on which her brother-in-law vowed pond, was perpetually seen about this man- that "she was fit to be the wife of an emsion; an elderly spinster, accompanied by a peror, and that to be skillful in domestic little boy, also might be remarked coming duties was surely one of the most charming thither daily. It was Miss Briggs and little of women's qualities." And Sir Pitt thought Rawdon, whose business it was to see to the with something like mortification of Lady inward renovation of Sir Pitt's house, to su- Jane at home, and of a certain pie which she perintend the female band engaged institch- had insisted upon making, and serving to ing the blinds and hangings, to poke and him at dinner-a most abominable pie. rummage in the drawers and cupboards Besides the salmi, which was made of crammed with the dirty relics and congre- Lord Steyne's pheasants from his lordship's gated trumperies of a couple of generations cottage of Stillbrook, Becky gave her brotherof Lady Crawleys, and to take inventories in-law a bottle of white wine, some thatRawof the china, the glass, and other properties don had brought with him from France, and in the closets and store-rooms. had picked up for nothing, the little story 214 VANITY FAIR. tellel said; whereas the liquor was, in truth, wish that she should venture-tried it ever some White Hermitage fiom the Marquis of so delicately, and found it unsafe. Even at Steyne's famous cellars,, which brought fire a hint about embarrassments, Sir Pitt Crawinto the baronet's pallid cheeks and a glow ley was off and alarmed. And he began a into his feeble firame. long speech, explaining how straitened he Then, when he had drunk up the bottle himself was in money matters; how the of petit vin blanc, she gave him her hand tenants would not pay; how his father's and took him up to the drawing-room, and affairs, and the expenses attendant upon the made him snug on the sofa by the fire, and demise of the old gentleman had involved let him talk, as she listened with the ten- him; how he wanted to pay off incumderest kindly interest, sitting by him, and brances; and how the bankers and agents hemming a shirt for her dear little boy. were overdrawn; and Pitt Crawley ended WVhenever Mrs. Rawdon wished to be par- by making a compromise with his sister-inticularly humble and virtuous, this little shirt law, and giving her a very small sum for the used to come out of her work-box. It had benefit of her little boy. got to be too small for Rawdon long before Pitt knew how poor his brother and his it was finished, though. brother's family must be. It could not have Well, Rebecca listened to him, she talked escaped the notice of such a cool and expeto him, she sang to him, she coaxed him and rienced old diplomatist, that Rawdon's family cuddled him, so that he found himself more had nothing to live upon, and that houses and more glad every day to get back from and carriages, are not to be kept for nothing. the lawyer's at Gray's Inn, to the blazing He knew very well that he was the profire in Curzon-street-a gladness in which prietor or appropriator of the money, which, the men of law likewise participated, for according to all proper calculation, ought to Pitt's harangues were of the longest-and have fallen to his younger brothel, and he so that when he went away he felt quite a had, we may be sure, some secret pangs of pang at departing. How pretty she looked remorse within him, which warned him that kissing her hand to him fiom the carriage, he ought to perform some act of justice, or, and waving her handkerchief when he had let us say; compensation, toward these distaken his place in the mail. She put the appointed relations. A just, decent man, handkerchief to her eyes once. He pulled not without brains, who said his players, his sealskin cap over his, as the coach drove and knew his catechism, and did his duty away, and, sinking back, he thought to him-, outwardly through life, he could not be self how she respected him, and how he de- otherwise than aware that something was served it, and how Rawdon was a foolish due to his brother at his hands, and that dull fellow, who did'nt half appreciate his morally he was Rawdon's debtor. wife; and how mum and stupid his own But, as one reads in the columns of the wife was compared to that brilliant little Times newspaper every now and then, Becky. Becky had hinted every one of queer announcements from the chancellor these things herself, perhaps, but so deli- of the exchequer, acknowledging the receipt cately and gently, that you hardly knew of e50 from A. B., or X10 from W. T., as when or where. And, before they parted, conscience-money, on account of taxes due it was agreed that the house in London by the said A B13. or WV. T., which payshould be redecorated for the next season, ments the penitents beg the right honorable and that the brothers' families should meet gentleman to acknowledge through the meagain in the country at Christmas. dium of the public press; —so is the chan"I wish you could have got a little money cellor no doubt, and the reader likewise, out of him," Rawdon said to his wife moodi- always perfectly sure that the above-named ly when the baronet was gone. " I should A. B. and W. T. are only paying a very like to give something to old Raggles, hanged small installment of what they really owe, if I shouldn't. It ain't right, you know, and that the man who sends up a twenty that the old fellow should be kept out of all pound-note,' has very likely hundreds or his money. It may be inconvenient, and he thousands more for which he ought to acmight let to somebody else besides us, you count. Such, at least, are my feelings, know." when I see A. B. or W. T.'s insufficient "Tell him," said Becky, "that as soon as:acts, of repentance. And I have no doubt Sir Pitt's affairs are settled every body will that"Pitt Crawley's contrition, or kindness, be paid, and give him a little something on if you will, toward his younger brother, by account. Here's a check that Pitt left for wvhom he had so much profited, was only the boy," and she took from her bag and a very small dividend upon the capital sum gave her husband a paper which his brother in which he was indebted to Rawdon. Not had handed over to her on behalf of the little dvery body is willing to pay even so much. son and heir of the younger branch of the To: —part with money is a sacrifice beyond Crawleys. almost all to men endowed with a sense ot The truth is, she had tried personally the order. There is scarcely any man alive ground on which her husband expressed a who does not think himse;lf metitorious fea A NOVEL VI'rHOUT A HERO. 215 giving his neighbor five pounds. Thriftless who by the way was grown almost too big gives, not from a beneficent pleasure in for black velvet now, and was of a size and giving, but from a. lazy delight in spending. age befitting him for the assumption of the He would not deny himself one enjoyment; virile jacket and pantaloons. not: his opera-stall, not his horse, not his He was a fine, open-faced boy, with blue dinner, not even the pleasure of giving La- eyes and waving flaxen hair, sturdy in limb, zarus the five pounds. Thrifty, who is but generous and soft in heart: fondly atgood, wise, just, and owes no man a penny, taching himself to all who were good to him turns from a beggar, haggles with a hackney- -to the pony-to Lord Southdown, who coachman, or denies a poor relation, and I gave him the horse-(he used to blush and doubt which is the more selfish of the two. glow all over when he saw that kind young Money has only a different value in the eyes nobleman)-to the groom who had charge of each. of the pony-to Molly, the cook, who cramSo, in a word, Pitt Crawley thought he rmed him with ghost stories at night, and would do something for his brother, and with good things from the dinner-to Briggs, then thought that he would think about it whom he plagued and laughed at-and to his some other time. father especially, whose attachment toward And with regard to Becky, she was not a the lad was curious too to witness. Here, woman who expected too much fiom the as he grew to be about eight years old, his generosity of her neighbors, and so was attachments may be said to have ended. quite content with all that Pitt Crawley had The beautiful rnother-vision had faded away done for her. She was acknowledged by after a while. During near two years she the head of the family. If Pitt would not had scarcely spoken to the child. She disgive her any thing, he would get something liked him. He had the measles and the for her some day. If she got no money hooping-cough. He bored her. One day, from her brother-in-law, she got what was when he was standing at the landing-place, as good as money-credit. Raggles was having crept down from the upper regions, made rather easy in his mind by the spec- attracted by the sound of his mother's voice, tacle of the union between the brothers, by who was singing to Lord Steyne, the drawa small payment on the spot, and by the ing-room door opening suddenly, discovered promise of a much larger sum speedily to be the little spy, who but a moment before had assigned to him. And Rebecca told Miiss been wrapped in delight, and listening to the Briggs. whose Christmas dividend upon the music. little sum lent by her, Becky paid with an His mother came out and struck him vioair of candid joy, and as if her exchequer lently a couple of boxes on the ear. He was brimming over with gold-Rebecca, we heard a laugh from the marquis in the inner say, told Miss Briggs, in strict confidence, room (who was amused by this free and artthat she had conferred with Sir Pitt, who less exhibition of Becky's temper), and fled was famous as a financer, on Briggs's special down below to his friends of the kitchen, behalf, as to the most profitable investment bursting in an agony of grief. of Miss B.'s remaining capital; and Sir Pitt, "It is not because it hurts me" little after much consideration, had thought of a Rawdon gasped out-" only-only "-sobs most safe and advantageous way in which and tears wound up the sentence in a storm. Briggs could lay out her money; that, being It was the little boy's heart that was bleeding. especially interested in her as an attached " Why mayn't I hear her singing? Why friend of the late Miss Crawley, and of the don't she ever sing to me —as she does to whole family, and that long before he left that bald-headed man with the large teeth?" town, he had recomnmended that she should He gasped out at various intervals these be ready with the money at a moment's no- exclamations of rage and grief. The cook tice, so as to purchase at the most favorable looked at the housemaid: the housemaid opportunity the shares which Sir Pitt had looked knowingly at the footman-the awful in his eye. Poor Miss Briggs was very kitchen inquisition which sits in judgment grateful for this mark of Sir Pitt's attention in every house, and knows every thing-sate — it came so unsolicited, she said, for she on Rebecca at that moment. never should have thought of removing the After this incident, the mother's dislike money from the funds-and the delicacy increased to hatred; the consciousness that enhanced the kindness of the office; and the child was in the house was a reproach she promised to see her man of business and a pain to her. His very sight annoyed immediately, and be ready with her little her. Fear, doubt, and resistance, sprang up, cash at the proper hour. too, in the boy's own busom. They were And this worthy woman was so grateful separated from that day of the boxes on the for the kindness of Rebecca in the matter, ear. and for that of her generous benefactor, the Lord Steyne also heartily misliked the colonel, that she went out and spent a great boy. When they met by mischance, he part of her half-year's dividend in the pur- made sarcastic bows or remarks to the chase of a black velvet coat for little Rawdon, child, or glared at him with savage looking 216 VANITY FAIR. eyes. Rawdon used to stare him in the A day or two befort Christmas, Becky, face,, and double his little fists in return. her husband, and her son, made ready and He knew his enemy; and this gentleman, went to pass the holidays at the seat of their of all who came to the house, was the one ancestors at Queen's Crawley. Becky who angered him most. One day the foot- would have liked to leave the little brat beman found him squaring his fists at Lord hind, and would, but for Lady Jane's urgent Steyne's hat in the hall. The footman told invitations to the youngster; and tlhe sympthe circumstance as a good joke to Lord toms of revolt and discontent which Rawdon Steyne's coachman; that officer imparted manifestedather neglect of her son. "He's it to Lord Steyne's gentleman, and to the the finest boy in England," the father said, servant's hall in general. And very soon in a tone of reproach to her, "and you don't afterward, when Mrs. Rawdon Crawley seem to care for him, Becky, as m;uch as made her appearance at Gaunt House, the you do for your spaniel. He shan't bother porter who unbarred the gates, the servants you much: at home he will be away firom of all uniforms in the hall, the functionaries you in the nursery, and he shall go outside in white waistcoats, who bawled out from on the coach with me." landing to landing the hames of Colonel and " Where you go yourself, because you Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, knew about her, or want to smoke those filthy cigars," replied fancied they did. The man who brought Mrs. Rawdon. her refreshment and stood behind her chair, "I remember when you liked'em had talked her character over with the large though," answered the husband. gentleman in motley-colored clothes at his Becky laughed: she was almost always side. Bon Dieu! it is awfuil, that servants' good-humored. " That was when I was on inquisition! You see a woman in a great my promotion, Goosey," she said. " Take party in a splendid saloon, surrounded by Rawdon outside with you, and give hiln a faithful admirers, distributing sparkling cigar, too, if you like." glances, dressed to perfection, curled, roug- Rawdon did not warm his little son for the ed, smiling and happy: —Discovery walks winter's journey in this way, but he and respectfully up to her, in the shape of a Briggs wrapped up the child in shawls and huge, powdered man with large calves and comforters, and he was hoisted respectfully a tray of ices-with Calumny-(which is as on to the roof of the coach in the dark mornfatal as truth)-behind him, in the shape of ing, under the lamps of the White Horse the hulking fellow carrying the wafer-bis- Cellar: and with no small delight he watchcuits. Madain, your secret will be talked ed the dawn rise, and., made his first journey over by those men at their club at the public- to the place which his father still called house to-night. Jeanmes will tell Chawls his home. It was a journey of infinite pleasure notions about you over their pipes and pew- to the boy, to whom the incidents of the ter beer-pots. Some people ought to have road afforded endless interest; his father an mutes for servants in Vanity Fair —mutes swering to him all questions connected with who could not write. If you are guilty — it, and telling him who lived in the great tremble. That fellow behind your chair white house to the right, and whom the park may be a Janissary with a bow-string in his belonged to. His mother, inside the vehicle, plush breeches pocket. If you are not with her maid and her furs, her wrappers guilty have a care of appearances-which and her scent-bottles, made such a to-do that are as ruinous as guilt. you would havb thought she never had been 1" Was Rebecca guilty or not?" the in a stage-coach before-much less, that she Vehmgericht of the servants' hall had pro- had been turned out of this very one to nounced against her. make room for a paying passenger on a And, I shame to say, she would not have certain journey performed some half-score got credit, had they not believed her to be years ago. guilty. It was the sight of the Marquis of It was dark again when little Rawdon was Steyne's carriage-lamps at her door, contem- wakened up to enter his uncle's carriage at plated by Raggles, burning in the blackness Mudbury, and he sate and looked out of it, of midnight, " that kep him up," as he after- wondering as the great iron gates flew open, ward said; that, even more than Rebecca's and at the white trunks of the limes as they arts and coaxings. swept by, until they stopped, at length, beAnd so-guiltless very likely-she was fore the light windows of the Hall, which writhing and pushing onward toward what were blazing and comfortable with Christthey call "a position.in society," and the mas welcome. The hall-door was flung servants were pointing at her as lost and open-a big fire was burningin the great old ruined. So you see Molly the housemaid, fireplace -a carpet was down over the of a morning, watching a spider in.the door- chequered black flags. "1 It's the old Turpost lay his thread and laboriously crawl up. key one that used to be in the Ladies' Galit, until, tired of the sport, she raises her lery," thought Rebecca, and the next instant broom and sweeps away the thread and the was kissing Lady Jane. artificer. She and Sir Pitt performed the same sa A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. (217 lute with great gravity: but Pawdon having! pany. As for little Rawdon,'who examined been smoking, hung back rather from his it, with the children for his guides, it seemed sister-in-law, whose two children came up to him a perfect palace of enchantment and to their cousin; and, while Matilda held out wonder. There were long galleries, and her hand and kissed him, Pitt Binkie South- ancient state-bed rooms; there were picdown, the son and heir, stood aloof rather, tures, and old china, and armor. There and examined him as a little dog does a big were the rooms in which grandpapa died, dog. and by which the children walked with terThen the kind hostess conducted her rified looks. "Who was grandpapa?" he guests to the snug apartments blazing with asked; and they told him how he used cheerfulfites. Then thb young ladies caine to be very old, and used to be wheeled and knocked at Mrs. Rawdon's door, under about in a garden-chair, and they showed the pretense that they were desirous to be him the garden-chair one day rotting in the useful, but in reality to have the pleasure out-house in which it had lain since the old of inspecting the contents of her band and gentleman had been wheeled away yonder bonnet-boxes, and her dresses, which, though to the church, of which the spire was glitblack, were of the newest London fashion. tering over the park elmns. And they told her how much the Hall was The brothers had good occupation for changed for the better, and how old Lady several mornings in examining the improveSouthdown was gone, and how Pitt was ments which had been effected by Sir Pitt's taking his station in the country, as became, genius and economy. ~ And as they walked a Crawley, in fact. Then, the great dinner- or rode, and looked at themn, they could bell having rung, the family assembled at talk without too much boring each other. dinner, at which meal Rawdon Junior was And P.itt took care to tell Rawdon what a placed by his aunt, the good-natured lady of heavy outlay of money these improvements the house; Sir Pitt being uncommonly at- had occasioned; and that a man of landed tentive to his sister-in-law at his own right and funded property was often very hard hand. pressed for twenty pounds. "' There is that Little Rawdon exhibited a fine appetite, new lodge gate," said Pitt, pointing to it and showed a gentlemanlike behavior. humbly with the bamboo cane, " I can no "I like to dine here," he said to his aunt, more pay for it before the dividends in'when he had completed his meal, at the January than I can fly." conclusion of which, and after a decent " I can lend you, Pitt, till then," Rawdon grace by Sir Pitt, the young son and heir answered, rather ruefully; and they went was introduced, and was perched on a high in and looked at the restored lodge, where chair by the baronet's side, while the daugh- the family arms were just new scraped in ter took possession of the place and the little stone; and where old Mrs. Lock, for the wine-glass prepared for her nealt her mother. first time these many long years, had tight " I like to dine here," said Rawdon Minor. doors, sound roofs, and whole windows looking up at his relation's kind face. "Why?" said the good Lady Jane.' I dine in the kitchen when I am at home," replied Rawdon Minor, " or else with CHAPTER XLV. Briggs." But Becky was so engaged with the baronet, her host, pouring out. a flood of BETWEEN HAMPSHIRE AND LONDON. compliments, and delights, and raptures, SIR PITT CRAWLEY had done more than and admiring young Pitt Binkie, whom she repair fences and restore dilapidated lodges declared to be the most beautiful, intelligent, on the Queen's Crawley estate. Like a noble-looking little creature, and so like his wise man he had set to work to rebuild the father, that she did not hear the remarks of injured popularity of his house, and stop up her own flesh and blood at the other end of the gaps and ruins in which his name had the broad, shining table. been left by his disreputable and thriftless As a guest, and it being the first night of old predecessor. He was elected for the his arrival, Rawdon the Second was allowed borough speedily after his father's demise; to sit up until the hour when tea being over, a magistrate, a member of parliament, a and a great gilt book being laid on the table county magnate and representative of an before Sir Pitt, all the domestics of the famin- ancient family, he made it his duty to show ily streamed in, and Sir Pitt read prayers. himself before the Hampshire public, subIt was the first time the poor little boy had scribed handsomely to the county charities, ever witnessed or heard of such a cere- called assiduously upon all the county folks, monial. and laid himself out in a word to take that position in Hampshire, and in the empire The house had been much improved even afterwards, to which he thought his pro. since the baronet's brief reign, and was pio- digious talents justly entitled him. Lady nounced by Becky to be perfect, charming, Jane was instructed to be friendly with delightful, when she surveyed't in his cornm- the Fuddlestones, and the MTapshots, and 218 VANITY FAIR. the other famnous baronets, their neighbors. visit, dilated on the kindness with which her Their carriages might frequently be seen in ladyship had treated her in sickness, and the Queen's Crawley avenue now; they declared that every thing at Queen's Crawdined pretty frequently at the Hall (where ley reminded her of-her absent friend. the cookery was so good, that it was clear A great part of the altered demeanor and Lady Jane vely seldom had a hand in it), popularity of Sir Pitt Crawley might have and in return Pitt and his wife most ener- been traced to the counsels of that astute getically dined out in all sorts of weather, little lady of Curzon-street. " You remain'and at all sorts of distances. For though a baronet-you consent to be a mere country Pitt did not care for joviality, being a frigid gentleman," she said to him, while he had man of poor health and appetite, yet he been her guest in London. " No, Sir Pitt considered that to be hospitable and conde- Crawley, I know you better. I know your scending was quite incumbent on his station, talents and your ambition. You fancy you and every time that he got a headache from hide them both: but you can conceal neitoo long an after-dinner sitting, he felt that he ther fiom me. I showed Lord Steyne your was a martyr to duty. He talked about pamphlet on malt. He was familiar with crops, corn-laws, politics, with tle best it: and said it was in the opinion of the country gentlemen. He (who had been whole Cabinet the most masterly thing that formerly inclined to be a sad freethinker had appeared on the subject. The ministry on these points), entered into poaching and has its eye upon you, and I know what you galne preserving with ardor. HIe didn't want. You want to distinguish yourself in hunt; he wasn't a hunting man; he was a Parliament; every one says you are the man of books and peaceful habits; but he finest speaker in England (for your speeches thought that the breed of horses must be at Oxford are still remembered.) You want kept up in the country, and that the breed to be member for the county, where with of foxes must therefore be looked to, and, your own vote and your borough at your for his part, if his fiiend, Sir Huddlestone back, you can command any thing. And Fuddlestone liked to draw his county, and you want to be Baron Crawley of Queen's meet, as of old the F. hounds used to do, at Crawley, and will be before you die. I saw Queen's Crawley, he should be happy to it all. I could read your heart, Sir Pitt. see him there, and the gentlemen of the If I had a husband who possessed your inFuddlestone hunt. And to Lady South- tellect as he does your name, I sometimes down's dismay too, he became orthodox in think I should not be unworthy of him —but his tendencies every day: gave up preach- -but I am your kinswoman now," she ing in public and attending meeting-houses; added with a laugh. "Poor little penniless, went stoutly to church; called on the bishop I have got a little interest-and who knows, and all the clergy at Winchester; and made perhaps the mouse may be able to aid the no objection when the venerable Archdeacon lion." Trumper asked for a game of whist. VWhat Pitt Crawley was amazed and enraptured pangs must have been those of Lady South- with her speech. " How that woman comdown, and what an utter cast-away she must prehends me!" he said. "I never could have thought her son-in-law for permitting get Jane to read three pages of the maltsuch a godless diversion! and when, on the pamphlet. She has no idea that I have comreturn of the family fiom an oratorio at mandingtalents or secret ambition. Sothey Winchester, the baronet announced to the remember my speaking at Oxford, do they? young ladies that he should next year very The rascals! now that I represent my boprobably take them to the county balls. rough and may sit for'the county, they begin They worshiped him for his kindness. to recollect me! Why, Lord Steyne cut Lady Jane was only too obedient, and per- me at the levee last year: they are beginhaps glad herself to go. The dowager wrote ning to find out that Pitt Crawley is someine off the direst descriptions of her daughter's one at last. Yes, the man was always the worldly behavior to the authoress of the same whom these people neglected: it was " Washerwoman of Finchley Common " at only the opportunity that was wanting, and the Cape; and her house in Brighton being I will show them how that I can speak and about this time unoccupied, returned to that act, as well as write. Achilles did not dewatering-place, her absence not being very clare himself until they gave him the sword. much deplored by her children. We may I hold it now, and the world shall yet hear suppose, too, that Rebecca, on paying a of Pitt Crawley." second visit to Queen's Crawley, did not Therefore it was that this roguish diplofeel particularly grieved at the absence of matist had grown so hospitable; that he was the lady of the medicine-chest; though she so civil to oratorios and hospitals; so kind to wrote a Christmas letter to her ladyship, in deans and chapters; so generous in giving which she respectfully recalled herself to and accepting dinners; so uncommonly graLady Southdown's recollection, spoke with cious to farmers on market-days; and so gratitude of the delight which her ladyship's much interested about county business; and conversation had given her on the former that the Christmas at the Hall was the gay A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO 219 est which had been known there for many ther a chill. Perhaps Sir Pitt was rather a long day. too attentive to her. On Christmas day a great family gather- But Rawdon, as became his age and size, ing took place. All the Crawleys fiom the was fonder of the society of the men than Rectory came to dine. Rebecca was as of the women; and never wearied of acfrank and fond of Mrs. Bute, as if the other companying his sire to the stables, whither had never been her enemy, affectionately the colonel retired to smoke his cigar-Jim, interested in the dear girls, and surprised the rector's son, sometimes joining his cousin at the progress which they had made in in that and other anmusements He and the music since her time: and insisted upon baronet's keeper were very close friends, encoring one of the duets out of the great their mutual taste for "dawgs" bringing song-books which Jim, grumbling, had been them much together. On one day, Mlr. forced to bring under his arm from the Rec- James, the colonel, and Horn, the keeper, tory. Mrs. Bute, per-force, was obliged to went and shot pheasants, taking little Rawadopt a decent demeanor toward the little don with them. On another most blissful adventuress-of course being fiee to dis- morning, these four gentlemen partook of course with her daughters afterward about the amusement of rat-hunting in a barn, as the absurd respect with which Sir Pitt which sport Rawdon as yet had never seen treated his sister-in-law. But Jim, who had any thing so noble. They stopped up the sate next to her at dinner, declared she was ends of certain drains in the barn, into the a trump: and one and all of the Rector's fa- other openings of which ferrets were inmily agreed that the little Rawdon was a serted; and then stood silently aloof with fine boy. They respected a possible baronet uplifted stakes in their hands, and an anxin the boy, between whom and the title ious little terrier (Mr. James's celebrated there was only the little, sickly, pale Pitt " dawg" Forceps, indeed), scarcely breathBinkie. ing fiom excitement, listening motionless, The children were very good friends. on three legs, to the faint squeaking of Pitt Binkie was too little a dog for such a the rats below. Desperately bold at last, big dog as Rawdon to play with: and Matil- the persecuted animals sneaked aboveda being only a girl, of course not fit compa- ground: the terrier accounted for one, the nion for a young gentleman who was near keeper for another; Rawdon, fiom flurry eight years old, and going into jackets very and excitement, missed his rat, but, on the soon. He took the command of this small other hand, he half-murdered a ferret. party at once-the little girl and the little But the greatest day of all was that on boy following him about with great rever- whichSir HuddlestoneFuddlestone'shounds ence at such times as he condescended to met upon the lawn at Queen's Crawley. sport with thenm. His happiness and pleas- That was a famous sight for little Rawure in the country were extreme. The don. At half-past ten, Tom Moody, Sir kitchen-garden pleased him hugely, the Huddlestone Fuddlestone's huntsman, is flowers moderately, but the pigeons and the seen trotting up the avenue, followed by the poultry, and the stables when he was allow- noble pack of hounds in a compact bodyed to visit them, were delightful objects to the rear being brought up by the two whips him. He resisted being kissed by the Miss clad in stained scarlet frocks-light, hardCrawleys: but he allowed Lady Jane some- featured lads on well-bred, lean horses, postimes to embrace him: and it was by her sessing marvelous dexterity in casting the side that he liked to sit when the signal to points of their long, heavy whips at the retire to the drawing-room being given, the thinnest part of any dog's skin who dares to ladies left the gentlemen to their claret-by straggle from the main body, or to take the her side, rather than by his mother. For slightest notice, or even so much as wink at Rebecca seeing that tenderness was the the hares and rabbits starting under their fashion, called Rawdon to her one evening, nose. and stooped down and kissed him in the Next comes boy Jack, Tom Moody's son, presence of all the ladies. who weighs five stone, measures eight-andHe looked her full in the face after the forty inches, and will never be any bigger. operation, trembling and turning very red, He is perched on a large raw-boned hunter, as his wont was when moved. "You never half-covered by a capacious saddle. This kiss me at home, mamma," he said; at animal is Sir Huddlestone Fuddlestone's fawhich there was a general silence and con- vorite horse-the Nob. Other horses, ridsternation, and a by no means pleasant look den by other small boys, arrive from time to in Becky's eyes. time, awaiting their masters, who will come Racilon was fond of his sister-in-law, for cantering on anon. her regard for his son. Lady Jane and Tom Moody rides up to the door of the Becky, did not get on quite so well at this Hall, where he is welcomed by the butler, visit as on occasion of the former one, when who offers him drink, which he declines. the colonel's wife was bent upon pleasing. He and his pack then draw off into a shelThose two speeches of the child struck ra- tered corner of the lawn, where the dogs 25~0 VANITY FAIR. roll on thle grass, and play or growl angrily pay his addresses to one of the young ladies, at one another, ever and anon breaking out with an understanding, doubtless, that he into furious fight speedily to be quelled by shall be presented to the living when it shall Town's voice, unmatched at rating, or the be vacated by his fox-hunting old sire. Jim snaky thongs of the whips. has given up that sport himself, and confines Hunters arrived from time to time, in himself to a little harmless duck or snipecharge of boys of the boy Jack species-the shooting, or a little quiet trifling with the.young gentlemen canter up on thorough- rats during the Christmas holidays, after bred hacks spatterdashed to the knee, and which he will return to the University and enter the house to drink cherry-brandy and try and not be plucked, once more. He has pay their respects to the ladies, or, more already eschewed green coats, red neckmodest and sportsman-like, divest themselves cloths, and other worldly ornaments, and is of their mud-boots, exchange their hacks for preparing himself for a change in his conditheir hunters, and warm'their blood bya pre- tion. In this cheap and thrifty way Sir liminary gallop round the lawn. Then they Pitt tries to pay off his debt to his family. collect round the pack in the corner, and talk with Tom Moody of past sport and the Also, before this merry Christmas was merits of Sniveller and Diamond, and of the over, the baronet had screwed up courage state of the country, and of the wretched enough to give his brother another draft on breed of foxes. his bankers, and for no less a sum than a Sir Huddlestone presently appears mount- hundred pounds-an act which caused Sir ed on a clever cob, and rides up to the Hall, Pitt cruel pangs at first, but which made where he enters and does the civil thing by him glow afterward to think himself one the ladies; after which, being a man of few of the most generous of men. Rawdon words, he proceeds to business. The hounds and his son went away with the utmost are drawn up to the Hall-door, and little heaviness of heart. Becky and the ladies Rawdon descends among them, excited, yet parted with some alacrity, however: and half alarmed, by the caresses which they our fi'iend returned to London to combestow upon him, at the thumps he receives rmence those avocations with which we find from their waving tails, and at their canine her occupied when this chapter begins. bickerings, scarcely restrained by Tom Moo- Under her care the Crawley House, in dy's tongue and lash. Great Gaunt-street, was quite rejuvenescent, Meanwhile Sir Huddlestone has hoisted and ready for the reception of Sir Pitt and himself unwieldily on the Nob:," Let's try his family, when the baronet came to LonSowste-'s Spinney, Tom," says the baronet, don to attend his duties in Parliament, and "Farmer Mangle tells me there are two to assume that position in the country for foxes in it." Will blows his horn and tiots which his vast genius fitted him. off, followed by the pack, by the whips, by For the first session this profound dis the young gents from Winchester, by the sembler hid his projects, and never opened farmers of the neighborhood, by the laborers his lips but to present a petition from Mudof the parish on foot, with whom the day is bury. But he attended assiduously in his a great holiday; Sir Huddlestone bringing place, and learned thoroughly the *routine up the rear with Colonel Crawley, and the and business of the house. At home he whole cortdge disappears down the avenue. gave himself up to the perusal of Blue Books, The Reverend Bute Crawley (who has to the alarm and wonder of Lady Jane, who been too modest to appear at the public thought he was killing himself by late hours meet before his nephew's windows), and and intense application. And he made acwhom Tom Moody remembers forty years quaintance with the ministers, and the chiefs back a slender divine riding the wildest of his party, determining to rank as one of horses, jumping the wildest brooks, and lark- them before many years were over. ing over the newest gates in the country- Lady Jane's sweetness and kindness had his Reverence, we say, happens to trot out inspired Rebecca with such a contempt for from the Rectory lane on his powerful black her ladyship as the little woman found no horse, just as Sir Huddlestone passes; he small difficulty in concealing. That sort of joins the worthy baronet. Hounds and goodness and simplicity which Lady Jane horsemen disappear, and little Rawdon re- possessed, annoyed our friend Becky, and mnainsonthedoor-steps,wonderingandhappy. it was impossible for her at times not to During the progress of this memorable show, or to let the other divine her scorn. holiday, little Rawdon, if he had got no spe- Her presence, too, rendered Lady Jane uncial liking for his uncle, always awful and easy. Her husband talked constantly with cold, and locked up in his study, plunged in Becky. Signs of intelligence seemed to justice-business, and surrounded by bailiffs pass between them: and Pitt spoke with and farmers —has gained the good graces of her on subjects on which he never thought his married and maiden aunts, of the two of discoursing with Lady Jane. The latter little folks of the Hall, and of Jim of the did not understand them to be sure, but it Rectory, whom Sir Pitt is encouraging to was mortifying to remain silent; still more A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 221 mortifying to know that you had nothing to most gracious to the new baronet and memsay, and hear that little audacious Mrs. Raw- ber. Pitt was struck, too, by the deference don dashing on from subject to subject, with with which the great peer treated his sisa word for every man, and a joke always ter-in-law, by her ease and sprightliness in pat; and to sit in one's own house alone, the conversation, and by the delight with by the- fireside, and watching all the men which the other men of the party listener round your rival. to her talk. Lord Steyne made no doubt In the country, when Lady Jane was but that the baronet had only commenced telling stories to the children, who clustered his careel in public life,'and expected rather about her knees (little Rawdon into the anxiously to hear him as an orator; as they bargain, who was very fond of her)-and were neighbors (for Great Gaunt-street leads Becky came into the room, sneering, with into Gaunt-square, whereof Gaunt House, green scornful eyes, poor Lady Jane grew as every body knows, forms one side) my silent under those baleful glances. Her lord hoped that as soon as Lady Steyne simple little fancies shrank away tremu- arrived in London she would have the honor lously, as fairies in the story-books, before of making the acquaintance of Lady Crawa superior bad angel. She could not go on, ley. He left a card upon his neighbor in although Rebecca, with the smallest in- the course of a day or two: his neighbor flection of sarcasm in her voice, besought whom he had, as his predecessor, never her to continue that charming story. And thought fit to notice, though they had lived on her side, gentle thoughts and simple near each other for near a century past. pleasures were odious to Mrs. Becky, they In the midst of these intrigues and fine discorded with her; she hated people for parties and wise and brilliant personages liking them; she spurned children and chil- Rawdon felt himself more and more isolated dren-lovers. "1 have no taste for bread every day. He was allowed to go to the and butter," she would say, when carica- club more: to dine abroad with bachelor turing Lady Jane and her ways to my Lord friends: to come and go when he liked. Steyne. without any questions being asked. And he "No more has a certain person for holy and Rawdon the younger many a time would water," his lordship replied with a bow and walk to Gaunt-street, and sit with the lady a grin, and a great jarring laugh afterward. and the children there while Sir Pitt was So these two ladies did not see much of closeted with Rebecca, on his way to the each other except upon those occasions, house, or on his return from it. when the younger brother's wife, having The ex-colonel would sit for hours in his an object to gain from the other, frequented brother's house very silent, and thinking and her. They my-loved and my-deared each doing as little as possible. He was glad to other assiduously, but kept apart generally: be employed of an errand: to go and make whereas Sir Pitt, in the midst of his multi- inquiries about a horse or a servant: or to plied avocations, found daily time to see his carve the roast mutton for the dinner of the sister-in-law. children. Hie was beat and cowed into laziOn the occasion of his first Speaker's din- ness and submission, and Dalilah had imner, Sir Pitt took the opportunity of appear- prisoned him and cut his hail off, too. The ing before his sister-in-law in his uniform- bold and reckless young blood of ten years that old diplomatic suit which he had worn back'Was subjugated, and was turned into a when attache to the Pumpernickel legation. torpid, submissive, middle-aged, stout genBecky complimented him upon that dress, tlernan. and admired him almost as much as his own And poor Lady Jane was aware that Rewife and children, to whom he displayed becca had captivated her husband; although himself before he set out. She said that it she and Mrs. Rawdon my-deared and mywas only the thorough-bred gentleman that loved each other every day they met. could wear the court suit with advantage; it was only your men of ancient race whom the culotte courte became. Pitt looked down with complacency at his legs, which had CHAPTER XLVI. not, in truth, much more symmetry or..,.. STRUGGLES AND TRIALS. swell than the lean court sword which dangled by his side; looked down at his OUR friiends at Brompton were meanwhile legs, and thought in his heart that he was passing their Christmas after their fashion, killing. and in a manner by nro means too cheerful. When he was gone, Mrs. Becky made a Out of the hundred pounds a year, which caricature of his figure, which she showed was about the amount of her income, the to Lord Steyne when he arrived. Hislord- widow Osborne had been in the habit of ship carried off the sketch, delighted with giving up nearly three-fourths to her father the accuracy of the resemblance. He had and mother, for the expenses of herself and done Sir Pitt Crawley the honor to meet her little boy. With X120 more, supplied him*at Mrs. Becky's house, and had been by Jos., this family of four people, attended 222 VANITY FAIR, by a single Irish servant who also did for full of sensibility. He, for his part, rushed Clapp and his wife, might manage to live in off to the school with the utmost happiness. decent comfort through the year, and hold He was longing for the change. That childup their heads yet, and be able to give a ish gladness wounded his mother, who was friend a dish of tea still, after the storms and herself so grieved to part with him. She disappointments of their early life. Sedley would rather have had him more sorry, she still maintained his ascendency over the fam- thought: and then was deeply repentant'ily of Mr. Clapp, his ex-clerk. Clapp re- within herself, for daring to be so selfish as membered the time when, sitting on the to wish her own son to be unhappy. edge of the chair, he tossed off a bumper to Georgy made great progress in the school, the health of" Mrs. S, Miss Emmy, and which was kept by a fiiend of his mother's Mr. Joseph in India," at the merchant's rich constant admirer, the Rev. Mr. Binney. HE table in Russell-square. Time magnified brought home numberless prizes and testithe splendor of those recollections in the monials of ability. He told his mother counthonest clerk's bosom. Every time he came less stories every night about his school-comup fiom the kitchen-parlor to the draw- panions: and what a fine fellow Lyons was, ing-room, and partook of tea or gin-and- and what a sneak Sniffin was: and how water with Mr. Sedley, he would say, Steel's father actually supplied the meat " This was not what you was accustomed for the establishment, whereas Golding's to once, sir," and as gravely and reverentially mother came in a carriage to fetch him every drink the health of the ladies as he had done Saturday: and how Neat had straps to his in the days of their utmost prosperity. He trowsers-might he have straps? and how thought Miss'Melia's playing the divinest Bull Major was so strong (though only in music ever performed, and her the finest Eutropius) that it was believed he could lick lady. He never would sit down before the Usher, Mr. Ward himself. So Amelia Sedley at the club even, nor would he have learned to know every one of the boys'in that gentleman's character abused by any that school as well as Georgy himself: and member of the society. " He had seen the of nights she used to help him in his exerfirst men in London shaking hands with Mr. cises, and puzzle her little head over his S5-;" he said, "He'd known him in times lessons as eagerly as if she was herself when Rothschild might be seen on'Change going in the morning into the presence of with him any day, and he owed him per- the, master. Once, after a certain combat sonally every thing." with master Smith, George came home to Clapp, with the best of characters and his mother with a black eye, and bragged hand-writings, had been able very soon after prodigiously to his parent and his delighted his master's disaster to find other employ- old grandfather about his valor in the fight, ment for himself. " Such a little fish as me in which, if the truth was known, he did not can swim in any bucket," he used to re- behave with particular heroism, and in which mark, and a member of the house from he decidedly had the worst. But Amelia has which old Sedley had seceded was very never forgiven that Smith to this day, though glad to make use of Mr. Clapp's services, he is now a peaceful apothecary near Leicesand to reward them with a comfortable sal- ter-square. ary. In fine, all Sedley's wealthy friends In these quiet labors and harmless cares had dropped off one by one, and this' poor the gentle widow's life was passing away, a ex-dependent still remained faithfully at- silver hair or two marking the progress of tached to him. time on her head, and a line deepening ever Out of the small residue of her income, so little on her fair forehead. She used to which Amelia kept back for herself, the wid- smile at these marks of time. "W Vhat matow had need of all the thrift and care pos- ters it," she asked, " for an old woman like sible, in order to enable her to keep her dar- me?" All she hoped for was to live to see ling boy dressed in such a manner as became her son great, famous, and glorious, as he George Osborne's son, and to defray the ex- deserved to be. She kept his copy-books, penses of the little school to which, after his drawings, and compositions, anid showed much misgiving and reluctance, and many them about in her little circle, as if they were secret pangs and fears on her own part, she miracles of genius. She confided some of had been induced to send the lad. She had these specimens to Miss Dobbin: to show sate up of nights conning lessons and spelling them to Miss Osborne, George's aunt, to over crabbed grammars and geography books show them to Mr. Osborne himself-to make in order to teach them to Georgy. She had that old man repent of his cruelty and illworked even at the Latin accidence, fondly feeling toward him who was gone. All her hoping that she might be capable of instruct- husband's faults and foibles she had buried in ing him in that language. To part with him the grave with him: she only remembered all day: to send him out to the mercy of a the lover, who had married her at all sacrischool-naster's cane and his school-fellows' fices: the noble husband, so brave and beauroughness, was almost like weaning him over tiful, in whose arms she had hung on the again, to that weak mother, so tremulous and morning when he had gone away to Fight, A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 223 and die gloriously for his king. From heaven the old man had made her no reply: but he the hero must be smiling down upon that had shown no anger-and had bade her good paragon of a boy whom he left to comfort night on going himself to his room, in rather and console her. a kindly voice. And he must have mediWe have seen how one of George's grand- tated on what she said, and have made some fathers (Mr. Osborne), in h.s easy chair in inquiries of the Dobbin family regarding her Russell-square, daily grew more violent and visit; for a fortnight after it took place, he moody, and how his daughter, with her fine asked her where was her little French carriage, and her fine horses, and her name watch and chain she used to wear?. on half the public charity-lists of the town, "I bought it with my money, sir," she was a lonely, miserable, persecuted old'maid. said in a great fright. She thought again and again of the beautiful "Go and order another like it, or better if little boy, her brother's son, whom she had you can get it," said the old gentleman, and seen., She longed to be allowed to drive in lapsed again into silence. the fine carriage to the house in which he Of late, the Miss Dobbins more than once lived: and she used to look out day after day repeated their entreaties to Amelia, to allow as she took her solitary drive in the Park, in George to visit them. His aunt had shown hopes that she might see him. Her sister, her inclination; perhaps his grandfather the banker's lady, occasionally condescended himself, they hinted, might be disposed to to pay her old home and companion a visit be reconciled to him. Surely, Amelia could in Russell-square. She brought a couple of not refuse such advantageous chances for sickly children attended by a prim nurse, and the boy. Nor could she: but she acceded in a faint genteel giggling tone cackled to her to their overtures with a very heavy and sister about her fine acquaintance, and how suspicious heart, was always uneasy during her little Frederick was the image of Lord the child's absence from her, and welcomed Claud Lollypop and her sweet Mariahad been himn back as if he was rescued out of some noticed by the baroness as they:were driv- danger. He brought back money and toys, ing in their donkey-chaise at Roehampton. at which the widow looked with alarm and She urged her to make her papa do some- jealousy: she asked him always if he had thing for the darlings. Frederick she had seen any gentleman-" Only old Sir William determined should go into the Guards; and who drove him about in the four-wheeled if they made an elder son of him (and Mr. chaise, and Mr. Dobbin, who arrived on the Bullock was positively ruining and pinching beautiful bay horse in the afternoon-in the himself to death to buy land), how was the green coat and pink neck-cloth, with the darling girl to be provided for? "I expect gold-headed whip, who promised to show you, dear," Mrs. Bullock would say, " for, him the Tower of London, and take him of course my share of our papa's property out with the Surrey hounds." At last, he must go to the head of the house, you know. said "There was an old gentleman, with Dear Rhoda Macmull will disengage the thick eye-brows and a broad hat, and large whole of the Castletoddy property as soon chain and seals. He came one day as the as poor dear Lord Castletoddy dies, who is coachman was lunging Georgy round the quite epileptic-and little Macduff Macmull lawn on the gray pony. He looked at me will be Viscount Castletoddy. Both the Mr. very much. He shook very much. IJsaid Bludyers of Mincing Lane have settled their' My name is Norval' after dinner. My aunt fortunes on Fanny Bludyer's little boy. My began to cry. She is always crying." Such dairing Frederick must positively be an eld- was George's report on that night. est son; and-and do ask papa to bring us Then Amelia knew that the boy had seen back his account in Lombard street, will you, his grandfather: and looked out feverishly dear? It doesn't look well, his going to for a proposal which she was sure would Stumpy and Rowdy's." After which kind follow, and which came, in fact, in a few of speeches, in which fashion and the main days afterward. Mr. Osborne formally ofchance were blended together, and after a fered to take the boy, and make him heir to kiss, which was like the contact of an oyster the fortune which he had intended that his -Mrs. Frederick Bullock would gather her father should inherit. He would make starched nurslings, and simper back into her Mrs. George Osborne an allowance, such as carriage. to assure her a decent competency. If Mrs. Every visit which this leader of ton paid George Osborne proposed to marry again, as to her famnily was more unlucky for her. Her Mr. 0. heard was her intention, he would father paid more money into Stumpy and not withdraw that allowance. But it must Rowdy's. Her patronage became more and be understood, that the child would live enmore insufierable. The poor widow in the tirely with his grandfather in, Russell-square, little cottage at Brompton, guarding her trea- or at whatever other place Mr. O. should sure there, little knew how eagerly some select; and that he would be occasionally people coveted it. permitted to see Mrs. George Osborne at On that night when Jane Osborne had told l her own residence. This message wa. her father that she had seen his grandson, I brought or read to her in a letter one day 221 VANITY FAIR. when her mother was fi'om home, and her could not but perceive that her son was neg father absent, as usual, in the -ity. lected, and purchased little things out of She was never seen angry but twice or her private purse to keep the boy in health. thrice in her life, and it was in one of these At last they told her, or told her such a moods that Mr. Osborne's attorney had the garbled story as people in difficulties tell. fortune to behold her. She rose up trem- One day, her own money having been rebling and flushing very much as soon as, ceived, and Amelia about to pay it over: after reading tie letter, Mr. Poe handed it she who had kept an account of the moneys to her, and she tore the paper into a hun- expended by her, proposed to keep a cerdrlsd firagments, which she trod on. "I mar- tain portion back out of her dividend, havry again!-I take money to part from my ving contracted engagements for a new suit child! Who dares insult me by proposing for Georgy. such a thing? Tell Mr. Osborne it is a Then it came out that Jos's remittances cowardly letter, sir-a cowardly letter-I were not paid; that the house was in diffiwill not answer it. I wish you a good morn- culties which Amelia ought to have seen ing,sir" —"and she bowedme out of the room before, her mother said, but she cared for like a tragedy queen," said the lawyer who nothing or nobody except Georgy. At this told the story. she passed all her money across the table Her parents never remarked her agitation without a word to her mother, and returned on that day, and she never told them of the to her room to cry her eyes out. She interview. They had their own affairs to had a great access of sensibility too that interest them, affairs which deeply interest- day, when obliged to go and countermand ed this innocent and unconscious lady. The the clothes, the darling clothes on which she old gentleman, her father, was always dab- had set her heart for Christmas day, and the bling in speculation. WVe have seen how cut and fashion of which she had arranged the Wine Company and the Coal Company in many conversations with a small milliner, had failed him. But, prowling about the her fiiend. city always eagerly and restlessly, still he Hardest of all, she had to break the mat lighted upon some other scheme, of which ter to Georgy, who made a loud outcry. he thought so well that he embadked in it Every body had new clothes at Christmas. in spite of the remonstrances of Mr. Clapp, The others would laugh at him. He would to whom indeed he never dared to tell how have new clothes. She had promised them far he had engaged himself in it. And as it to -him. The poor widow had only kisses was always Mr. Sedley's maxim not to talk to give him. She darned the old suit in about money matters before women, they tears. She cast about among her little orhad no inkling of the misfortunes that were naments to see could she sell any thing to in store for them until the unhappy old gen- procure the desired novelties? There was tleman was forced to make gradual confes- her India shawl that Dobbin had sent her. sions. She remembered in former days going with The bills of the little household, which her mother to a fine India shop on Ludgate had been settled weekly, first fell into ar- Hill, where the ladies had all sorts of dealrear. The remittances had not arrived fiom ings and bargains in these articles. Her India, Mr. Sedley told his wife, with a dis- cheeks flushed, and her eyes shone with tulbed face. As she had paid her bills very pleasure, as she thought of this resource, and regularly hitherto, one or two of the trades- she kissed away George to school in the men to whom the poor lady was obliged to morning, smiling brightly after him. The go round asking for time were very angry boy felt there was good news in her look. at a delay, to which they were perfectly Packing up her shawl in a handkerchief, used from more irregular customers. Em- (another of the gifts of the good major) she my's contribution, paid over cheerfully with- hid them under her cloak, and walked flushout any questions, kept the little company ed and eager all the way to Ludgate Hill, in half rations, however. And the first six tripping along by the park wall, and running months passed pretty easily: old Sedley over the crossings, so that many a man still keeping up with the notion that his turned as she hurried by him, and looked shares must rise, and that all would be well. after her rosy, pretty face. She calculated No sixty pounds, however, came to help how she should spend the proceeds of her the household at the end of the half year; shawl: how, besides the clothes, she would and it fell deeper and deeper into trouble- buy the books that he longed for, and pay Mrs. Sedley who was growing infirm, and his half-year's schooling; and how she would was much shaken, remained silent or wept buy a cloak for her father instead of that a great deal with Mrs. Clapp in the kitchen. old great-coat which he wore. She was not The butcher was particularly surly: the mistaken as to the value of the major's gift. grocer insolent-once or twice little Geor- It was a very fine and beautiful web: and gy had agrunbled about the dinners: and the merchant made a very good bargain Amelia, who still would have been satisfied when he gave her twenty guineas for her with a slice of bread for her own dinner, shawl. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 225 She ran on, amazed and flurried with her petency: and the boy raised to fortune. O to, riches Darton's shop in St. Paul's Church what a conviction it was to that tender and Yard, and there purchased the "Parent's stricken heart!1 Assistant," and the "Sanford and Merton" Georgy longed for, and got into the coach there with her parcel, and went home exulting. And she pleased herself by writing CHAPTER XLVII. in the fly-leaf in her neatest little hand, " George Osborne, A Christmas gift from GAUNT HOUSE. his affectionate mother." The books are ALL the world knows that Lord Steyne s. extant to this day, with the fair, delicate su- town palace stands in Gaunt-square, out of perscription. which Great Gaunt-street leads, whither we She was going from her own room with first conducted Rebecca, in the tine of the the books in her hand to place them on departed Sir Pitt Crawley. Peering over George's table, where he might find them on the railings and through the black trees into his return fiom school; when in the pas- the garden of the Square, you see a few sage, she and her mother met. The gilt miserable governesses with wan-faced pubindings of the seven handsome little volumes pils wandering round and round it, and round caught the old lady's eye. the dreary grass-plot, in the centre of which " What are those?" she said. rises the statue of Lord Gaunt, who fought " Some books for Georgy," Amelia replied, at Minden, in a three-tailed wig, and otherblushing-" I-I promised them to him at wise habited like a Roman emperor. Gaunt Christmas." House occupies nearly a side of the Square. " Books!" cried the elder lady indignantly, The remaining three sides are composed of' Books, when the whole house wants bread! mansions that have passed away into DowBooks, when to keep you and your son in agerism;-tall, dark houses, with windowluxury, and your dear father out of jail, I've fiframes of stone, or picked out of a lighter sold every trinket I had, the India shawl red. Little light seems to be behind those from my back - even down to the very lean, comfortless casements now: and hosspoons, that our tradesmen mightn't insult pitality, to have passed away ftom those us, and that Mr. Clapp, which indeed he is doors as much as the laced lackeys and justly entitled, being not a hard landlord, link-boys of old times, who used to put out and a civil man, and a father, might have his their torches in the blank iron extinguishers rent. O Amelia! you break my heart with that still flank the lamps over the steps. your books, and that boy of yours, whom Brass plates have penetrated into the Square you are ruining, though part with him you -Doctors, the Diddlesex Bank, Western will not. O Amelia, may God send you a Branch-the English and European R6more dutiful child than I have had. There's union, &c.-It has a dreary looki-nor is my Jos deserts his father in his old age: and Lord Steyne's palace less dreary. All I there's George, who might be provided for, have ever seen of it is the vast wall in front, and who might be rich, going to school like a with the rustic columns at the great gate, lord, with a gold watch and chain round his through which an old porter peers someneck-while my dear, dear old man is with- times with a fat and gloomy red face-and out a sh-, shilling." Hysteric sobs and over the wall the garret and bed-room wincries ended Mrs. Sedley's speech-it echoed dows, and the chimneys, out of which there through every room in the small house, seldom comes any smoke now. For the whereof the other female inmates heard present Lord Steyne lives at Naples, preevery word of the colloquy. ferring the view of the Bay and Capri and " O mother, mother!" cried the poor Vesuvius to the dreary aspect of the wall in Amelia in reply. "'You told me nothing —I- Gaunt-square. 1 promised him the books. I —I only sold A few score yards down New Gauntmy shawl this morning. Take the money street, and leading into Gaunt-mews indeed, — take every thing"-and with quivering is a little modest back door, which you nands she took out her silver, and her sov- would not remark fiom that of any of the ereigns - her precious golden sovereigns, other stables. But many a little close carwhich she thrust into the hands of her riage has stopped at that door, as my informmother, whence they overflowed and tum- ant (little Tom Eaves, who knows every bled, rolling down the stairs. thing, and who showed me the place) told And then she went into her room, and me. " The Prince and Perdita have been sank down in despair and utter misery. She in and out of that door, sir," he has often saw it all now. Her selfishness was sacri- told me; " Marianne Clarke has entered it ficing the boy. But for her he might have with the Duke of. It conducts to the wealth, station, education, and his father's famous jetits appartements of Lord Steyne place, which the elder George had forfeited -one, sir, fitted up all in ivory and white for her sake. She had but to speak the satin, another in ebony and black velvet; words, and her father was restored to com- there is a little banqueting-rooni taken from P 226 VANITY FAIR. Sallust's house at Pompeii, and painted by selves for it, as long as there was a Stuart Cosway-a little private kitchen, in which left to head or to instigate a rebellion. every saucepan was silver, and all the spits Lady Mary Caerlyon was brought up at were gold. It was there that Egalit6e Or- a Parisian convent, the Dauphiness Marie leans roasted partridges on the night when Antoinette was her godmother. In the he and the Marquis of Steyne won a hun- pride of her beauty she had been marrieddred thousand from a great personage at sold, it was said-to Lord Gaunt, then at Hombre. Half of the money went to the Paris, who won vast sums fromn the lady's.French Revolution, half to purchase Lord brother at some of Philip of Orleans' banGaunt's, Marquisate and Garter-and the quets. The Earl of Gaunt's famous duel remainder-" but it forms no part of our with the Count de la Marche, of the Gray scheme to tell what became of the remain — Musketeers, was attributed by common reder, for every shilling of which, and a great port to the pretensions of that officer (who deal more, little Tom Eaves, who knows had been a page, and remained a favorite of every body's affairs, is ready to account. the Queen) to the hand of the beautiful LaBesides his town palace, the marquis had dy Mary Caerlyon. She was married to castles and palaces in various quarters of the Lord Gaunt while the count lay ill of his three kingdoms, whereof the descriptions wound, and came to dwell at Gaunt House, may be found in the Road-books-Castle and to figure for a short time in the splendid Strongbow, with its woods, on the Shannon court of the Prince of Wales. Fox had shore; Gaunt Castle, in Caermarthenshire, toasted her. Morris and Sheridan had writwhere Richard II. was taken prisoner- ten songs about her. Malmsbury had made Gauntly Hall in Yorkshire, where, I have her his best bow; Walpole had pronounced been informed, there were two hundred sil- her charming; Devonshire had been almost ver teapots for the breakfasts of the guests jealous of her; but she was scared by the of the house, with every thing to correspond wild pleasures and gayeties of the society in splendor; and Stillbrook in Hampshire, into which she was flung, and after she had which was my lord's farm, a humble place borne a couple of sons, shrank away into a of residence, of which we all remember the life of devout seclusion. No wonder that wonderful furniture which was sold at my my Lord Steyne, who liked pleasure. and lord's demise by a late celebrated auc- cheerfulness, was not often seen after their tioneer. marriage, by the side of this trembling, siThe Marchioness of Steyne was of the lent, superstitious, unhappy lady. renowned and ancient family of the Caer- The before-mentioned Tom Eaves (who lyons, Marquises of Camelot, who have pre- has no part in this history, except that he served the old faith ever since the conver- knew all the great folks in London, and the sion of the venerable Druid, their first an- stories and mysteries of each family) had cestor, and whose pedigree goes far beyond further information regarding mny Lady the date of the arrival of King Brute in these Steyne, which nlay or may not be true. islands. Pendragon is the title of the eldest "The humiliations," Tom used to say, son of the house. The sons have been "which that woman has been made to uncalled Arthurs, Uthers, and Caradocs, from dergo, in her own house, have been frightimmemorial time. Their heads have fallen ful; Lord Steyne has made her sit down in many a loyal conspiracy. Elizabeth chop- to table with women with whom I would ped off the head of the Arthur of her day, rather die than allow Mrs. Eaves to assowho had been chamberlain to Philip and ciate-with Lady Crackenbury, with Mrs. Mary, and carried letters between the Chippenham, with Madame de la CrucheQueen of Scots and her uncles the Guises. cassee, tile French secretary's wife" (from A cadet of the house was an officer of the every one of which ladies Tom Eavesgreat duke, and distinguished in the famous who would have sacrificed his wife for Saint Bartholomew conspiracy. During the knowing them-was too glad to get a bow whole of Mary's confinement, the house of or a dinner), " with the reigningfavorite, in Camelot conspired in her behalf. It was as a word. And do you suppose that that much injured by its charges in fitting out an woman, of that family, who are as proud armament against the Spaniards, during the as the Bourbons, and to whom the Steynes time of the Armada, as by the fines and con- are but lackeys, mushrooms of yesterday fiscations levied on it by Elizabeth for har- (for, after all, they are not of the old Gaunts, boring of priests, obstinate recusancy, and but of a minor and doubtful branch of the Popish misdoings. A recreant of James's house); do you suppose, I say" (the reader time was momentarily perverted from his must bear in mind that it is always Tom religion by the arguments of that grleat theo- Eaves who speaks), " that the Marchioness logian, and the fortunes of the family some- of Steyne, the haughtiest woman in Enwhat restored by his timely weakness. But gland, would bend down to her husband so the Earl of Camleot, of the reign of Charles, submissively, if there were not some cause? returned to the old creed of his family, and Pooh! I tell you there are sec-ret reasons. they continued to fight for it, aned ruin them- i tell you, that in the emigration, the Abbe de A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 227 a Marcalie, wvho was here and was employed and so they can't but be suspicious and hos in the Quiberoon business with Puisaye tile. and Tinteniac, was the same colonel of "Then again, as to the feeling of elder Mousquetaires Gris with whom Steyne toward younger sons. My dear sir, you fought in the year'S6-that he and the ought to know that every elder brother marchioness met again; that it was after looks upon the cadets of the house as his the reverend colonel was shot in Brittany, natural enemies who deprive him of so that Lady Steyne took to those extreme mnuch ready nloney which ought to be his nractices of devotion which she carries on by right. I have often heard George Mac aowv: for she is closeted with her director Tulrk, Lord Bajazet's eldest son, say that if every day-she is at service at Spanish- he had his will, when he came to the title, place, every morning. I've watched her he would do what the sultans do, and clear there-that is, I've happened to be passing the estate by chopping off all his younger there-and depend on it there's a mystery brothers' heads at once; and so the case in her case. People are not so unhappy is, more or less, with them all. I tell you unless they have something to repent of," they are all Turks in their hearts. Pooh! added Tom Eaves with a knowing wag of sir, they know the wolrld." And helre, haphis head; " and depend on it, that woman ly, a great man coming up, Tom Eaves's would not be so submissive as she is, if the hat would drop off his head, and he would marquis had not some sword to hold over rush forward with a bow and a grin, which her." showed that he knew the world too in the So, if Mr. Eaves's information be correct, Tomeavesian way, that is. And having laid it is viery likely that this lady in her'high out every shilling of his fortune on an anstation, had to submnit to mapy a private in- Duity, Tom could afford to bear no malice dignity, mand to-hide many secret griefs un- to his nephews and nieces, and to have no der a calm face. And let us, my brethren, other feeling with regard to his betters, but who have not our names in the Red Book, a constant and generous desire to dine with console ourselves by thinking comfortably them. how miserable our bettelrs may be,-and that Between the marchioness and the natural Damocles, who sits on satin cushions, and and tender regard of mother for children, is served on gold plate, has an awful sword there was that clruel barrier placed of differhanging over his head in the shape of a ence of faith. The very love which she bailiff, or an hereditaly disease, or a family might feel for her sons, only served to rensecret, which peeps out every now and der the timid and pious lady molre fearful then from the embroidered arras in a ghastly and unhappy. The gulf which separated manner, and will be sure to drop one day or them was fatal and impassable. She could the other in the right place. not stretch her weak arm across it, or draw In comparing, too, the poor man's situa- her children over to that side away from tion with that of the great, thelre is (always which her belief told her was no safety. according to Mr. Eaves) another great During the youth of his sons, Lord Steyne, source of comfort for the former. You who was a good scholar and amateur caswho have little or no patrimony to be- uist, had no better sport in the evening queath or to inherit, may be on good telrms after dinner in the country than in setting with your father or your son, whereas the the boys' tutolr, the Rev. Mr. Trail (now heir of a great prince, such as my Lord my Lord Bi;shop of Ealing), on her ladySteyne, must naturally be anglry at being ship's director, Father Mole, over their wine, kept out of his kingdom, and eye the occu- and in putting Oxfolrd against St. Acheul. pant of it with no very agreeable glances. He cried, "Bravo, Latimer! Well said, " Take it as a rule," this sardonic old Eaves Loyola!" alternately; he promised Mole a would say, "6 the fathers and elder sons of bishopric if hle would come over; and vowed all great families hate each other. The he would use all his influence to get Trail a crown prince is always in opposition to the cardinal's hat if he would secede. Neither crown or hankering after it. Shakspeare divine allowed himself to be conquered; knew the world, my good sir, and when he and though the fond mother hoped that her describes Prince Hal (fiom whose family youngest and favorite son would be reconthe Gaunts pletend to be descended, though ciled to her ch-ulrch-his mother church-a they are no more related to John of Gaunt sad and awful disappointment awaited the than you are) trying bn his father's coronet, devout lady-a disappointmentwhich seemed he gives you a natural description of all to be a judgment upon her for the sin of heirs-apparent. If you were heir to a duke- her nlarriage. dom and a thousand pounds a day, do you My Lord Gaunt married, as every person mean to say you would not wish for pos- who firequents the Peerage knows, the Lady session? Pooh! And it stands to reason Blanche Thistlewood, a daughter of the noble that every great manl, having experienced house of Bareacres, before mentioned in this this feeling tolvard his father, must be aware veracious histolry. A wing of Gaunt House that his son entertains it toward h;mns3. -as assigned to this couple; for the head og 229 VANITY FAIR. the family chose to govern it, and while he ited to a keeper, who has invested him with reigned to reign supreme: his son and heir, the order of the Strait Waistcoat." These however, living little at home, disagreeing are the kinds of epitaphs which men pass with his wife, borrowing upon post-obits over one another in Vanity Fair. such moneys as he required beyond the Twice or thrice in a week, in the earliest very moderate sums which his father was morning, the poor mother went for her sins disposed to allow him. The marquis knew and saw the poor invalid. Sometimes he every shilling of his son's debts. At his laughed at her (and his laughter was more lamented demise, he was found himself to pitiful than to hear him cry); sometimes she be the possessor of many of his heir's bonds, found the brilliant dandy diplomatist of the purchased for their benefit, and devised by Congress of Vienna dragging about a child's his lordship to the children of his younger toy, or nursing the keeper's baby's doll. son. Sometimes he knew her and Father Mole, As, to my Lord Gaunt's dismay, and the her director and companion: oftener he forchuckling delight of his natural enemy and got her, as he had done wife, children, love, father, the Lady Gaunt had no children- ambition, vanity. But he remembered his the Lord George Gaunt was desired to re- dinner-hour, and used to cry if his wine-andturn from Vienna, where he was engaged water was not strong enough. in waltzing and diplomacy, and to contract It was the mysterious taint of the blood: a matrimonial alliance with the Honorable the poor mother had brought it from her Joan, only daughter of John Johnes, First own ancient race. The evil had broken out Baron Helvellyn, and head of the firm of once or twice in the father's family, long Jones, Brown, and Robinson, of Thread- before Lady Steyne's sins had begun, or needle-street, bankers; fiom which union her fasts and tears and penances had been sprang several sons and daughters, whose offered in their expiation. The pride of fhe doings do not appertain to this story. race was struck down as the first-born of The marriage at first was a happy and Pharaoh. The dark mark of fate and doom prosperous one. My Lord George Gaunt was on the threshold-the tall old threshold could not only read, but write pretty cor- surmounted by coronets and carved heraldry. rectly. He spoke French with considerable The absent lord's children meanwhile fluency, and was one of the finest waltzers prattled and grew on quite unconscious that in Europe. WVith these talents, and his the doom was over them too. First they interest at home, there was little doubt that talked of their father, and devised plans his lordship would rise to the highest digni- against his return. Then the name of the ties in his profession. The lady, his wife, living dead man was less fiequently in their felt that courts were her sphere; and her mouths-then not mentioned at all. But. wealth enabled her to receive splendidly in the stricken old glandmother trembled to those continental towns whither her hus- think that these too were the inheritors of band's diplomatic duties led him. There their father's shame as well as of his honors; was talk of appointing him minister, and bets and watched sickening for the day when the were laid at the Travellers' that he would awful ancestral curse should come down on be embassador ere long, when of a sudden, them. rumors arrived of the secretary's extraordi- This dark presentiment also haunted Lord nary behavior. At a grand diplomatic dinner Steyne. Hie tried to lay the horrid bed-side given by his chief, lie had started up and ghost in Red Seas of wine and jollity, and declared that a pdte de foie gras was lost sight of it sometimes in the crowd and poisoned. He went to a ball at the hotel of rout of his pleasures. But it always came the Bavarian envoy, the Count de Spring- back to him when alone, and seemed to grow bock-Hohenlaufen, with his head shaved, more threateningwith years.. "I have taken and dressed as a Capuchin friar. It was your son," it said, "why not you? I may not a masked ball, as some folks wanted to shut you up in a prison some day like your persuade you. It was something queer, son George. I may tap you on the head people whispered. His grandfather was so. to-morrow, and away go pleasure and honorIs, It was in the family. feasts and beauty, friends, flatterers, French His wife and family returned to this coun- cooks, fine horses and houses-in exchange try, and took up their abode at Gaunt House. for a prison, a keeper, and a straw mattress Lord George gave up his post on the Euro- like George Gaunt's." And then my lord. pean Continent, and was gazetted to Brazil. would defy the ghost which threatened him; But people knew better; he never returned fbr he knew of a remedy by which he could from that Brazil expedition —never died balk his enemy. there —never lived there-never was there So there was splendor and wealth, but no at all. He was nowhere: he was gone out great happiness, perchance, behind the tall altogether. "Brazil," said one gossip to carved portals of Gaunt House with its another, with a grin —" Brazil is St. John's smoky coronets and ciphers. The feasts Wood. Rio Janeiro is a cottage surrounded there were of the grandest in London, but by four walls; ad George Gaumat:, accred- there was not over-much content therewith, A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 529 except among the guests who sate at my interview they come out stamped as honest lord's table. Had he not been so great a women. The lord chamberlain gives them prince very few possibly would have visited a certificate of virtue. And as dubious goods him; but in Vanity Fair the sins of very or letters are passed through an oven at great personages are looked at indulgently. quarantine, sprinkled with aromatic vinegar, "Nous rfeardons a deuxfois" (as the French and then pronounced clean-many a lady lady said), before we condemn a person of whose reputation would be doubtful othermy.lord's undoubted quality. Some notori- wise and liable to give infection, passes ous carpers and squeamish moralists might through the wholesome ordeal -of the royal be sulky with Lord Steyne, but they were presence, and issues from it free fiom all glad enough to come when he asked them. taint. "Lord Steyne is really too bad," Lady It might be very well for my Lady BareSlingstone said, " but every body goes, and acres, my Lady Tufto, Mrs. Bute Crawley of course I shall see that my girls come to in the country,' and other ladies who had no harm." " His lordship is a man to whom come into contact with Mrs. Rawdon CrawI owe muchl, every thing in life," said the ley, to cry fie at the idea of the odious little Right Reverend Doctor Trail, thinking that adventuress making her courtesy before the the archbishop was rather shaky; and Mrs. sovereign, and to declare, that if dear good Trail and the young ladies would as soon Queen Charlotte had been alive, she never have missed going to church as to one of his would have admitted such an extremely illlordship's parties. "His morals are bad," regulated personage into her chaste drawingsaid little Lord Southdown to his sister, who room. But when we consider that it was meekly expostulated, having heard terrific the first gentleman in Europe in whose high legends firom her mamma with respect to the presence Mrs. Rawdon passed her examidoings at Gaunt House; 1" but hang it, he's nation, and, as it were, took her degree in got the best dry Sillery in Europe!" And reputation, it surely must be flat disloyalty as for Sir Pitt Crawley, Bart.-Sir Pitt that to doubt any more about her virtue. I, for pattern of decorum, Sir Pitt who had led my part, look back with love and awe to that off at missionary meetings-he never for great character in history. Ah, what a high one moment thought of not going too. and noble appreciation of gentlemanhood " Where you see such persons as the Bishop there must have been in Vanity Fair, when of Ealing and the Countess of Slingstone, that revered and august being was invested, you may be pretty sure, Jane," the baronet by the universal acclaim of the refined and would say, "that we can not be wrong. The educated portion of this empire, with the great rank and station of Lord Steyne title of Premier Gentilhomme of his kingput him in a position to command people in dom. Do you remember, dear M-, oh our station in life. The lord lieutenant of a fiiend of my youth, how one blissful night, county, my dear, is a respectable man. Be- five-and-twenty years since, the Hypocrite sides George Gaunt and I were intimate in being acted, Elliston being manager, Dowton early life; he was my junior when we were and Liston performers, two boys Lad leave attaches at Pumpernickel together." from their loyal masters to go out from In a word every body went to wait upon Slaughterhouse School, where they were this great man-every body who was asked; educated, and to appear on Drury Lane as you the reader (do not say nay), or 1 the stage, among a crowd which assembled there writer hereof, would go if we had an invita- to greet the king? THIE KING! There tion. he was. Beef-eaters were before the august box; the Marquis of Steyne (Lord of the Powder Closet) and other great officers of state were behind tte chair on which he CHAPTER XLVIII. sate-He sate-florid of face, portly of perIN wHIcH THE,"RE.ADERa IS INTRODtYUCED TO son, covered with orders, and in a rich curlTHE VREADER BEST-OF COMPANY. ing head of hair. How we sang God save THE VERY BEST OF COMPANY. him!. How the house rocked and shouted AT last Becky's kindness and attention to with that magnificent music! How they the chief of her husband's family, were des- cheered, and cried, and waved handkertined to meet with an exceeding great re- chiefs! Ladies wept: mothers clasped their ward; a reward which, though certainly children: some faintedwith emotion. People somewhat unsubstantial, the little woman were suffocated in the pit, shrieks and groans coveted with greater eagerness than more rising up amidst the writhing and shouting positive benefits. If she did not wish to mass there of his people who were, and inlead a virtuous life, at least she desired to deed showed themselves almost to be, really enjoy a character for virtue, and we know to die for him. Yes, we saw him. Fate that no lady in the genteel world can pos- can not deprive us of that. Others have sess this desideratum, until she has put on seen Napoleon. Some few still exist who a train and feathers, and has been presented have beheld Frederick the Great, Doctor to her sovereign at court. From that august Johnson, Marie Antoinette, &c.-be it out 230 VANITY FAIR. reasonable boast to our children, that we life, and she got up the genteel with amaz saw George the Good, the Magnificent, the ing assiduity, readiness, and success. We Great. have said there were times when she beWell, there came a happy day in Mrs. lieved herself to be a fine lady, and forgot Rawdon Crawley's existence, when this that there was no money in the chest at angel was admitted into the paradise of a home-duns round the gate-tradesmen to court which she coveted, her sister-in-law coax and wheedle-no ground to walk upon, acting as her god-mother. On the appointed in a word. And as she went to court in the day, Sir Pitt and his lady, in their great carriage, the family carriage, she adopted a family carriage (just newly built, and ready demeanor so grand, self-satiefied, deliberate, for the baronet's assumption of the office of and imposing, that it made even Lady Jane high sheriff of his county), drove up to the laugh. She walked into the royal apartlittle house in Curz6n-street, to the edifica- ments with a toss of the head which would tion of Raggles. who was watching from his have befitted an empress, and I have no green-grocer's shop, and saw fine plumes doubt had she been one, she would have within, and enormous bunches of flowers in become the character perfectly. the breasts of the new livery coats of the We are authorized to state that Mrs. footmen. Rawdon Crawley's costume de cour on the Sir Pitt, in a glitteringuniform, descended occasion of her presentation to the soveand went into Curzon-street, his sword be- reign was of the most elegant and brilliant tween his legs. Little Rawdon stood with description. Some ladies we may have his' face against the parlor window panes, seen, we, who wear stars and cordons, and smiling and nodding with all his might to his attend the St. James's assemblies, or we, aunt in the carriage within; and presently who, in muddy boots, dawdle up and down Sir Pitt issued forth from the house again, Pall Mall, and peep into the coaches as they leading forth a lady with grand feathers, drive up with the great folks and their covered in a white shawl, and holding up feathers-some ladies of fashion, I say, we daintily a train of magnificent brocade. She may have seen, about two o'clock of the stepped into the vehicle as if she were a forenoon of a levee day, as the laced-jacketprincess and accustomed all her life to go to ed band of the Life Guards are blowing tricourt, smiling graciously on the footman at umphal marches seated on those prancing the door, and on Sir Pitt, who followed her music-stools, their cream-colored chargers into the carriage. - who are by no means lovely and enticing Then Rawdon followed in his old Guards' objects at that early period of noon. A uniform, which had grown wofully shabby, stout countess of sixty, dcollete, painted, and was much too tight. He was to have wrinkled, with rouge up to her drooping followed the procession, and waited upon his eyelids, and diamonds twinkling in her wig, sovereign in a cab, but that his good-natured is a wholesome and edifying, but not a pleassister-in-law insisted that they should be a ant sight. She has the faded look of a St. family party. The coach was large, the James's-street illumination, as it may be ladies not very big, they would hold their seen of an early morning, when half the trains in their laps-finally, the four went lamps are out, and the others are blinking fraternally together, and thbir carriage pre- wanly, as if they were about to vanish like sently joined the line, of loyal equipages ghosts before the dawn. Such charms, as which was making its way down Piccadilly those of which we catch glimpses while her and St. James's street, toward the old brick ladyship's carriage passes, should appear palace, where the Star of Brunswick was in abroad at night alone. If even Cynthia waiting to receive his nobles and gentlefolks. looks haggard of an afternoon-, as we may Becky felt as if she could bless the people see her sometimes in the present winter out of the carriage windows, so elated was season, with Phoebus staring her out of she in spirit, and so strong a sense had she countenance from the opposite side of the of the dignified position which she had at heavens, how much more can old Lady last attained in life. Even our Becky had' Castlemouldy keep her head up when the her weaknesses; and as one often sees how sun is shining full upon it through the chariot men pride themselves upon excellencies windows, and showving all the chinks and which others are slow to perceive-how, crannies with which time has marked her for instance, Comus firmly believes that he face? No. Drawing-rooms should be anis the greatest tragic actor in England; how nounced for November, or the first foggy Brown, the famous novelist, longs to be con- day'; or the elderly sultanas of our Vanity sidered, not a man of genius, but a man of Fair should drive up in closed litters, defashion; while Robinson, the great lawyer, scend in a covered way, and make their does not in the least care about his reputa- courtesy to the sovereign under the protion in Westminster Hall, but believes him- tection of lamplight. self incomparable across country, and at a Our beloved Rebecca had no need, howfive-barred gate-so, to be, and to be thought, ever, of any such friiendly halo to set off her a respectable woman, was Becky's aim in beauty. Her complexion could bear any A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 231 sunshine as yet; and her dress, though if she wore; and the baronet had omitted to you were to see it now, any present lady mention the circumstance to his lady. of Vanity Fair would pronounce it to be the Becky looked at her husband, and then at most foolish and preposterous attire ever Sir Pitt, with an air of saucy triumph-as worn, was as handsome in her eyes and much as to say, " Shall I betray you?" those of the public, some five-and-twenty " Guess!" she said to her husband. years since, as the most brilliant costume of "Why, you silly man," she continued, the most famous beauty of the present sea- "where do you suppose I got them-all son. A score of years hence that, too- except the little clasp, whlich a dear fiiend that milliner's wonder-will have passed of mine gave me long ago. I hired them, into the domain of the absurd, along with all to be sure, I hired them at Mr. Polonius's, previous vanities. But we are wandering in Coventry-stleet. You don't suppose that too much. Mrs. Rawdon's dress was pro- all the diamonds which go to court belong to nounced to be charmante on the eventful day the owners; like those beautiful stones which of her presentation. Even good little Lady Lady Jane has, and which are much handJane was forced to acknowledge this effect, somer than any which I have, I am ceras she looked at her kinswoman; and owned tain." sorrowfully to herself that she was quite in- "They are family jewels," said Sir Pitt, ferior in taste to Mrs. Becky. again looking uneasy. And in this family She did not know how much care, thought, conversation the, carriage rolled down the and genius Mrs. Rawdon had bestowed upon street, until its cargo was finally discharged that garment. Rebecca had as good taste at the gates of the palace where the soveas any milliner in Europe, and such a clever reign was sitting in state. way of doing things as Lady Jane little un- The diamonds, which had created Rawderstood. The latter quickly spied out the don's admiration, never went back to Mr. magnificence of the brocade of Becky's train, Polohius, of Coventry street, and that genand the splendor of the lace on her dress. tleman never applied for their restoration; The brocade was an old remnant, Becky but they retired into a little private reposisaid; and as for the lace, it was a great tory, in an old desk, which Amelia Sedley bargain. She had had it these hundred had given her years and years ago, and in years. which Becky kept a number of useful and,'My dear Mrs. Crawley, it must have perhaps, valuable things, about which her cost a little fortune," Lady Jane said, look- husband knew nothing. To know nothing, ing down at her own lace, which was not or little, is in the nature of some husbands. nearly so good; and then examining the To hide, in the nature of how many women? quality of the ancient brocade, which form- O ladies! how many of you have surreptied the material of Mrs. Rawdon's court tious milliners' bills? How many of you dress, she felt inclined to say that she have gowns and bracelets, which you daren't could not afford such fine clothing, but show, or which you wear trembling?-tremchecked that speech, with an effort, as one bling, and coaxing with smiles the husband uncharitable to her kinswoman. by your side, who does not know the new And yet if Lady Jane had known all, I velvet gown from the old one, or the new think even her kindly temper would have bracelet friom last year's, or has any notion failed her. The fact is, when she was put- that the ragged looking yellow lace scarf ting Sir Pitt's house in order, Mrs. Rawdon cost forty guineas, and that Madame Bobihad found the lace and the brocade in old not is writing dunning letters every week for wardrobes, the property of the former ladies the money! of the house, and had quietly carried the Thus Rawdon knew nothing about the goods home, and had suited them to her brilliant diamond ear-rings, or the superb own little person. Briggs saw her take brilliant ornament which decorated the fair them, asked no questions, told no stories; bosom of his lady; but Lord Steyne, who but I believe quite sympathized with her on was in his place at court, as Lord of the this matter, and so would many another Powder Closet, and one of the great dignihonest woman. taries and illustrious defenses of the throne And the diamonds-" Where the doose of England, and came up with all his stars, did you get the diamonds, Becky?" said her garters, collars, and cordons, and paid partichusband, admiring some jewels which he ular attention to the little woman, knew had never seen before, and which sparkled whence the jewels came, and who paid for in her ears and on her neck with brilliance them. and profusion. As he bowed over her he smiled, and Becky blushed a little, and looked at him quoted the hackneyed and beautiful lines, hard for a moment. Pitt Crawley blushed from'the Rape of the Lock, about Belinda's a little too, and looked out of the window. diamonds, " which Jews might kiss and infi~The fact is, he had given her a very small dels adore." portion of the brilliants; a pretty diamond "But I hope your lordship is orthodox," clasp, which confined a pearl necklace which said the little lady, with a toss of her head 232 ~T~VANITY FAIR. And many ladies round about whispered and been sandy-haired, green-eyed, and a talked, and many gentlemen nodded- and French rope-dancer's daughter," Mrs. Bute whispered, as they saw what marked atten- said to her eldest girl (who, on the contrary, tion the great nobleman was paying to the was a very swarthy, short, and snub-nosed little adventuress. young lady), "you might have had superb What were the circumstances of the inter- diamonds, forsooth, and have been presentview between Rebecca Crawley, nee Sharp, ed at court, by your cousin, the Lady Jane.and her imperial master, it does not become But you're only a gentlewoman, my poor, such a feeble and inexperienced pen as mine dear child. You have only some of the best to attempt to relate. The dazzled eyes close blood in England in your veins, and good before that magnificent idea. Loyal respect principles and piety for your portion. I, and decency tell even the imagination not to myself, the wife of a baronet's younger look too keenly and audaciously about the brother, too, never thought of such a thing sacred audience-chamber, but to back away as going to court-nor would other people, rapidly, silently, and respectfully, malting if good Queen Charlotte had been alive." profound bows, out of the august pres- In this way the worthy rectoress consoled ence. herself; and her daughters sighed, and sate This may be said, that in all London there over the peerage all night. was no more loyal heart than Becky's after this interview. The name of her king was A few days after the famous presentation, always on her lips, and he was proclaimed another great and exceeding honor was by her to be the most charming of men. vouchsafed to the virtuous Becky. Lady She went to Colnaghi's and ordered the Steyne's carriage drove up to Mr. Rawdon finest portrait of him that art had produced, Crawley's door, and the footman, instead of and credit would supply. She chose that driving down the front of the house, as by famous one in which the best of monarchs his tremendous knocking he appeared to be is represented in a frock coat with a fur col- inclined to do, relented, and only delivered lar, and breeches and silk stockings, simper- in a couple of cards, on which were engraving on a sofa fiom under his curly brown en the names of the Marchioness of Steyne wig. She had him painted in a brooch and and the Countess of Gaunt. If these bits wore it-indeed, she amused.-nd somewhat of pasteboard had been beautiful pictures, or pestered her acquaintance with her perpet- had had a hundred yards of Malines lace ual talk about his urbanity and beauty. Who rolled round them, worth twice the number knows? Perhaps the little woman thought of guineas, Becky could not have regarded she might play the part of a Maintenon or a them with more pleasure. You may be Pompadour. sure they occupied a conspicuous place in But the finest sport of all, after her pre- the china bowl on the drawing-room table, sentation, was to hear her talk virtuously. where Becky kept the cards of her visitors. She had a few female acquaintances, not, it Lord! lord! how poor Mrs. Washington must be owned, of the very highest reputation White's card and Lady Crackenbury's card, in Vanity Fair. But being made an honest which our little friend had been glad enough woman of, so to speak, Becky would not to get a few months back, and of which the consort any longer with these dubious ones, silly little creature was rather proud onceand cut Lady Crackenbury, when the latter Lord! lord! I say, how soon, at the appearnodded to her firom her opera box; and gave ance of these grand court cards, did those Mrs. Washington White the go-by in the poor little neglected deuces sink down to ring. "One must, my dear, show one is the bottom of the pack. Steyne! Baresomebody," she said.' One musn't be seen acres, Johnes of Helvellyn and Caerlyon of with doubtful people. I pity Lady Crack- Camelot! we may be sure that Becky and enbury fiom myheart; and Mrs. Washington Briggs looked out those august names in the White may be a very good natured person. peerage, and followed the noble races up You may go and dine with them, as you like through all the ramifications of the family your rubber. But I musn't, and won't; and tree. you will have the goodness to tell Smith to My Lord Steyne, coming to call a couple say I am not at home when either of them of hours afterward, and looking about him, calls." and observing every thing as was his wont, The particulars of Becky's costume were found his lady's cards already ranged as the in the newspapers-feathers, lappets, superb trumps of Becky's hand, and grinned, as diamonds, and all the rest. Mrs. Cracken- this old cynic always did at any naive display bury read the paragraph in bitterness of of human weakness. Becky came down to spirit, and discoursed to her followers about him presently: whenever the dear girl exthe airs which that woman was giving her- pected his lordship, her toilet was prepared, self. Mrs. Bute Crawley and her young her hair in perfect order, her mouchoirs, ladies in the country had a copy of the aprons, scarfs, little morocco slippers, and Morning Post from town; and gave a vent other female gimcracks arranged, and she to their honest indignation. 1' If you had seated in some artless and tigreeahle posture A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO.'233 eady to receive hinm-whenever she was women will bully you!" This was a veiy surprised, of course, she had to fly to her long speech for a man of few words, like my apartment to take a rapid survey of matters Lord Steyne; nor was it the first which in the glass, and to trip down again to wait he had uttered for Becky's benefit on that upon the great peer. day. She found him grinning over the bowl. Briggs looked up fiom the work-table at She was discovered, and she blushed a little. which she was seated, in the farther room, " Thank you, Monseigneur," she said. and gave a deep sigh as she heard the great "'You see your ladies have been here. marquis speak so lightly of her sex. How good of you! I couldn't come be- "If you don't turn off that abominable fore-I was in the kitchen making a pud- sheep-dog," said Lord Steyne, with a savage ding." look over his shoulder at her,; I will have "1 know you were; I saw you through her poisoned." the area-railings as I drove up," replied the "I always give my dog dinner from my old gentleman. own plate," said Rebecca, laughing mischiev"You see every thing," she replied. ously; and having enjoyed for some time the "A few things, but not that, my pretty discomfiture of my lord, who hated poor lady," he said, good-naturedly. "You silly Briggs for interrupting his tete-a-tete with little fibster! I heard you in the room over the fair colonel's wife, Mrs. Rawdon at head, where I have no doubt you were put- length had pity upon her admirer, and callting a little rouge on; you must give some ing to Briggs, praised the fineness of the of yours to my Lady Gaunt, whose com- weather to her, and bade her to take out the plexion is quite preposterous; and I heard child for a walk. the bed-room door open, and then you came "I can't send her away," Becky said presdown stairs." ently, after a pause, and in a very sad voice. "' Is it a crime to try and look my best Her eyes filled with tears as she spoke, and when you come here?" answered Mrs. she turned away her head. Rawdon, plaintively, and she rubbed her "You owe her wages, I suppose?" said c-heek with her handkerchief; as if to show the peer. there was no rouge at all, only genuine "Worse than that," said Becky, still blushes and modesty in her case. About casting down her eyes; "I have ruined this who can tell? I know there is some her." rouge that won't come off on a pocket-hand- " Ruined her? then why don't you turn kerchief; and some so good that even tears her out?" the gentleman asked. will not disturb it. " Men do that," Becky answered, bitterly. "Well," said the old gentleman, twiddling "' Women are not so bad as you. Last year round his wife's card, "you are bent upon when we were reduced to our last guinea, becoming a fine lady. You pester my poor she gave us every thing. She shall never old life out to get you into the world. You leave me, until we are ruined utterly ourwon't be able to hold your own there, you selves, which does not seem far off, or until silly little fool. You've got no money." I can pay her the uttermost farthing." " You will get us a place," interposed " — it, how much is it?" said the peer, Becky, as quick as possible. with an oath. And Becky, reflecting on the "You've got no money, and you want to largeness of his means, mentioned not only compete with those who have. You poor the sum which she had borrowed firom little earthenware pipkin, you want to swim Miss Briggs, but one of nearly double the down the stream along with the great cop- amount. per kettles. All women are alike. Every This caused Lord Steyne to break out body is striving for what is not worth the in another brief and energetic expression of having! Gad! I dined with the king yes- anger, at which Rebecca held down her head terday, and we had neck of mutton and the more, and cried bitterly. "I could not turnips. A dinner of herbs is better than a helpit. It was my only chance. I dare not stalled ox, very often. You will go to Gaunt tell my husband. He would kill me if I told House. You give an old fellow no rest until hint what I have done. I have kept it a you get there. It's not half so nice ashere. secret from every body but you-and you You'll be bored there. I am. My wife is forced it fiom me. Ah, what shall I do, as gay as Lady Macbeth, and my daugh- Lord Steyne? for I am very, very unhapters as cheerful as Regan and Goneril. I py!" daren't sleep in what they call my bed-room. Lord Steyne made no reply except by The bed is like the baldaquin of St. Peter's, beating the devil's tattoo, and biting his nails. and the pictures frighten me. I have a little At last he clapped his hat on his head, and brass bed in a dressing- room: and a little flung out of the room. Rebecca did not rise hair mattress like an anchorite. I am an fiom her attitude of misery until the door anchorite. Ieo! ho! You'll be asked to slammed upon him, and his carriage whil-led dinner next week. And gare aux femmes, away. Then she rose up with the queerest look out and hold your own! iHow the expression of victorious mischief glittering 9234 VANITY FAIR. in her green eyes. She burst out laughing I CHAPTER XLIX. once or twice to herself, as she sate at work; and sitting down to the piano, she rattled IN WHICH WE ENJOY THREE COURSES AND away a triumphant voluntary on the keys, A DESSERT. which made the people pause under her WTHE1N the ladies of Gaunt House were window to listen to her brilliant music. at breakfast that morning, Lord Steyne (who That night, there came two notes from took his chocolate in private, and seldom disGaunt House for the little woman, the one turbed the females of his household, or saw containing a card of invitation from Lord and them except upon public days, or when they Lady Steyne to a dinner at Gaunt House crossed each other in the hall, or when fiom next Friday: while the other inclosed a slip his pit-box at the opera he surveyed them of gray paper bearing Lord Steyne's signa- in their box on the grand tier)-his lordship, ture and the address of Messrs. Jones, we say, appeared among the ladies and the Brown, and Robinson, Lombard-street. children who were assembled over the tea Rawdon heard Becky laughing in the and toast, and a battle royal ensued apropos night once or twice. It was only her de- of Rebecca. light at going to Gaunt House and facing the "My Lady Steyne," he said, " I want to ladies there, she said, which amused her so. see the list for your dinher on Friday; and But the truth was, that she was occupied I want you, if you, please, to write a card for with a great number of other thoughts. Colonel and Mrs. Crawley." Should she pay off old Briggs and give her "Blanche writes themn," Lady Steyne said her conge? Should she astonish Raggles in a flutter. "Lady Gaunt writes them." by settling his account? She turned over "I will not write to that person," Lady all these thoughts on her pillow, and on the Gaunt said, a tall and stately lady, who looked next day, when Rawdon went out to pay up for an instant and then down again after his morning visit to the club, Mrs. Crawley she had spoken. It was not good to meet (in a modest dress with a vail on) whipped Lord Steyne's eyes for those who had ofoff in a hackney-coach to the city: and being fended him. landed at Messrs. Jones and Robinson's bank, " Send the children out of the room. presented a document there to the authority Go!" said he, pulling at the bell-rope. The at the desk, who, in reply, asked her "How urchins, always fiightened before him, reshe would take it?" tired: their mother would have followed too. She gently said " she would take a hun- "Not you," he said. "You stop." dred and fifty pounds in small notes and " My Lady Steyne," he said, "once more, the remainder in one note:" and passing will you have the goodness to go to the desk, through St. Paul's Church Yard stopped and write that card for your dinner on Frithere and bought the handsomest black silk day?7" gown for Briggs which money could buy;'" My lord, I will not be present at it," and which, with a kiss and the kindest Lady Gaunt said; " I will go home." speeches, she presented to the simple old " I wish you would, and stay there. You spinster. will find the bailiffs at Bareacres very pleasThen she walked to Mr. Raggles, inquired ant company, and I shall be freed from lendabout his children affectionately, and gave ing money to your relations, and from your him fifty pounds on account. Then she own damned tragedy airs. Who are you to went to thelivery-man from whom she job- give orders here? You have no money. bed her carriages and gratified him with a You've got no brains. You were here to similar sum. "And I hope this will be a have children, and you have not had any. lesson to you, Spavin," she said, " and that Gaunt's tired of you; and George's wife is on the next drawing-room day my brother, the only person in the family who doesn't Sir Pitt, will not be inconvenienced by being wish you were dead. Gaunt would marry obliged to take four of us in his carriage to again if you were." wait upon his majesty, because my own car- "I wish I were," her ladyship answered, ritge is not forthcoming." It appears there with tears and rage in her eyes. had been a difference on the last drawing- "You, forsooth, must give yourself airs room day. Hence the degradation which of virtue; while my wife, who is an immacthe colonel had almost suffered, of being ulate saint, as every body knows, and never obliged to enter the presence ofhis sovereign did wrong in her life, has no objection to in a hack cab. meet my young friend, Mrs. Crawley. My These arrangements concluded, Becky Lady Steyne knows that appearances are paid a visit up-stairs to the before-mention- sometimes against the best of women; that ed desk, which Amelia Sedley had given lies are often told about the most innocent her years and years ago, and which con- of them. Pray, madam, shall I tell you tained a number of useful and valuable little some little anecdotes about my Lady Barethings: in which private museum she placed acres, your mamma?" the one note which Messrs. Jones and Rob- "You may strike me if you like, sir, or inson's cashier had given her. hit any cruel blow," Lady Gaunt said. To I \ ~ ~ I 0\I __ __'I o: — i1....... II~ ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'r~~o; i:=... /ii' I{ —- -~ ~'....:r i'::.......i':",1' II i I'I I's, jc7-~~~~~~~~~~~ 14;r,,?ii....l —.-".,,j " i "i_'I i!I'~~~~~~~~ A NOVEL WIrHOUT A HERO. 235 see his wife and daughter suffering always admitted to one of which was a privilege, put his lordship into a good humor. and an honor, and a blessing indeed. "IMy sweet Blanche," he said, " I am a Severe, spotless, and beautiful, Lady, gentleman, and never lay my hand upon a Gaunt held the very highest rank in Vanity woman, save in the way of kindness. I Fair. The distinguished courtesy withwhich only wish to correct little faults in your char- Lord Steyne treated her, charmed every acter. You women are too proud, and sadly body who witnessed his behavior, caused the lack humility, as Father Mole, I'm sure, severest critics to admit how perfect a genwould tell my Lady Steyne if he were tleman he was, and to own that his lord here. You mustn't give yourself airs: you ship's heart, at least, was in the right place must be meek and humble, my blessings. For all Lady Steyne knows, thiscaluminated, The ladies of Gaunt House called Lady simple, good-humored-Mrs. Crawley, is quite Bareacres in to their aid, in order to repulse innocent-even more innocent than herself. the common enemy. One of Lady Gaunt's Her husband's character is not good, but it is carriages went to Hill-street for her ladyas good as Bareacres', who has played a little ship's mother, all whose equipages were in and not paid a great deal, who cheated you the hands of the bailiffs, whose very jewels out of the only legacy you ever had, and left and wardrobe, it was said, had been seized you a pauper on my hands. And Mrs. by those inexorable Israelites. Bareacres Crawley is not very well born; but she is Castle was theirs, too, with all its costly not worse than Fanny's illustrious ancestor, pictures, furniture, and articles of vertu — the first de la Jones." the magnificent Vandykes; the noble Rey" The money which I brought into the nolds pictures; the Lawrence portraits, taw family, sir," Lady George cried out-. dry and beautiful, and, thirty years ago, " You purchased a contingent reversion deemed as precious as works of real genius; with it," the marquis said, darkly. "If the matchless Dancing Nymph of Canova, Gaunt dies, your husband may come to his for which Lady Bareacres had sate in her honors; your little boys may inherit them, youth-Lady Bareacres splendid then, and and who knows what besides? In the radiant in wealth, rank, and beauty-a toothmean while, ladies, be as proud and virtuous less, bald, old woman now-a mere rag of a as you like abroad, but don't give me any former robe of state. Her lord, painted at airs. As for Mrs. Crawley's character, I the same time by Lawrence, as waving his shan't demean myself; or that most spotless saber in front of Bareacres Castle, and and perfectly irreproachable lady, by even clothed in his uniform of colonel of the hinting that it requires a defense. You Thistlewood Yeomanry,- was a withered, will be pleased to receive her with the ut- old, lean man in a great coat and a Brutus most cordiality, as you will receive all per- wig: slinking about Gray's Inn of mornings sons whom I present in this house. This chiefly, and dining alone at clubs. He did.aouse?" He broke out with alaugh. "Who not like to dine with Steyne now. They is the master of it? and what is it? This had run races of pleasure together in youth temple of virtue belongs to me. And if I when Bareacres was the winner. But.nvite all Newgate or all Bedlam here, by Steyne had more bottom than he, and had -- they shall be welcome." lasted him out. The marquis was ten times After this vigorous allocution, to one of a greater man now than the young Lord which sort Lord Steyne treated his " Ha- Gaunt of'85; and Bareacres nowhere in rem," whenever symptoms ofinsubordination the race-old, beaten, bankrupt, and broken appeared in his household, the crest-fallen down. He had borrowed too much money women had nothing for it but to obey. Lady of Steyne to find it pleasant to meet his old Gaunt wrote the invitation which his lord- comrade often. The latter, whenever he ship required, and she and her mother-in- wished to be merry, used jeeringly to ask law drove in person, and with bitteri and hu- Lady Gaunt, why her father had not come miliated hearts, to leave the cards on Mrs. to see her? "He has not been here for Rawdon, the reception of which caused that four months," Lord Steyne would say. "I innocent woman so much pleasure. can always tell by my check-book afterThere were families in London who would ward, when I get a visit from Bareacres. tlave sacrificed a year's income to receive What a comfort it is, my ladies, I bank with such an honor at the hands of those great one of my sons' father-in-law, and the other ladies. Mrs. Frederic Bullock, for instance, banks with me!" would have gone on her knees from Mayfair Of the other illustrious persons whom Becky to Lombard-street, if Lady Steyne and Lady had the honor to encounter on this her first Gaunt had been waiting in the city to raise presentation to the grand world, it does not her up, and say, " Come to us next Friday," become the present historian to say much, not to one of the great crushes, and grand There was his excellency the Prince of balls of Gaunt House, whither every body Peterwaradin, with his princess; a noble. went, but to the sacred, unapproachable, man tightly girthed, with a large military mysterious, delicious entertainments, to be chest, on which the plaque of his o.rdev: 236 VANITY FAIR shone magnificently, and wearing the red Young Marlowin the comedy is represented collar of the Golden Fleece, round his neck. as having been familiar before he became He was the owner of countless flocks. abashed in the presence of Miss Hardcastle. " Look at his face. I think he must be de- The times are such that one scarcely dares scended from a sheep," Becky whispered to allude to that kind of company which to Lord Steyne. Indeed, his excellency's thousands of our young men in Vanity Fail countenance, long, solemn, and white, with are frequenting every day, which nightly the ornament round his neck, bore some re- fills casinos and dancing-rooms, which is semblance to that of a venerable bell-wether. known to exist as well as the Ring in Hyde There was Mr. John Paul Jefferson Jones, Park or the Congregation at St. James'stitularly attached to the American Embassy, but which the most squeamish if not the most and correspondent of the New York Dema- moral of societies is determined to ignore. gogue; who, byway of makinghimself agree- In a word, although Colonel Crawley was able to the company, asked Lady Steyne, now five-and-forty years of age, it had not during a pause in the conversation at dinner, been his lot in life to meet with a half-dozen how his dear friend, George Gaunt, liked good women, besides his paragon of a wife. the Brazils? —He and George had been most All except her and his kind sister Lady Jane, intimate at Naples, and had gone up Vesu- whose gentle nature had tamed and won vius together. Mr. Jones wrote a futl and him, scared the worthy colonel: and on particular account of the dinner, whiclh ap- occasion of his first dinner at Gaunt House peared duly in the Demagogue. He men- he was not heard to make a single remark tioned the names and titles of all the guests, except to state that the weather was very giving biographical sketches of the principal hot. Indeed Becky would have left him at people. He described the persons of the home, but that virtue ordained that her husladies with great eloquence; the service of band should be by her side to protect the the table: the size and costume of the ser- timid and fluttering little creature on her vants: enumerated the dishes and wines first appearance in polite society. served: the ornaments of the side-board, On her first appearance Lord Steyne and the probable value of the plate. Such stepped fprward, taking her hand, and a dinner he calculated could not be dished greeting her with great courtesy, and preup under fifteen or eighteen dollars per senting her to Lady Steyne and their ladyhead. And he was in the habit, until very ships, her daughters. Their ladyships made lately, of sending over proteges, with letters three stately courtesies, and the elder lady, of recommendation to the present Marquis to be sure, gave her hand to the new corner, of Steyne, encouraged to do so by the inti- but it was as cold and lifeless as marble. mate terms on which he. had lived with his Becky took it, however, with grateful hudear friend, the late lord. He was most mility; and performing a reverence which indignant that a young and insignificant aris- would have done credit to the best dancing tocrat, the Earl of Southdown, should have master, put herself at Lady Steyne's feet, taken the pas of him in their procession to as it were, by saying that his lordship had the dining room. " Just as I was stepping been her father's earliest friend and patron, up to offer my hand to a very pleasing and and that she, Becky, had learned to honor witty fashionable, the brilliant and exclusive and respect the Steyne family from the days Mrs. Rawdon Crawley"-he wrote-" the of her childhood. The fact is, that Lord, young patrician interposed between me and Steyne had once purchased a couple of picthe lady, and whisked my Helen off without tures of the late Sharp, and the affectionate a word of apology. I was fain to bring up orphan could never forget tier gratitude for the rear with the colonel, the lady's hus- that favor. band, a stout red-faced warrior who distin- The Lady Bareacres then came under guished himself at Waterloo, where he had Becky's cognizance-to whom the colonel's better luck than befel some of his brother lady made also a most respectful obeisance: red-coats at New Orleans." it was returned with severe dignity by the exalted person in question. The colonel's countenance on coining into' "I had the pleasure of making your ladythis polite society wore as many blushes as ship's acquaintance at Brussels, ten years the face of a boy of sixteen assumes when ago," Becky said, in the most winning nianhe is confionted with his sister's school-fel- ner. " I had the good fortune to meet Lady lows. It has been told before that honest Bareacres, at the Duchess of Richmond's Rawdon had not been much used at any ball, the night before the battle of Waterloo. period of his life to ladies' company. With And I recollect your ladyship, and my Lady the men at the club or the mess-room, he Blanche, your daughter, sitting in the carwas well enough; and could ride, bet, smoke riage in the porte-cochere at the Inn, waitor play at billiards with the boldest of them. ing for horses. I hope your ladyship's He had had his time for female fiiendships diamonds are safe." too: but that was twenty years ago, and the Every body's eyes looked into their neighladies were of the rank of those with whom bors'. The famous diamonds had undergone A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 237 a ftmous seizure, it appears, about which to my Lord Steyne or to you," said Rebec. Becky, of course, knew nothing. Rawdon ca, sincerely grateful, and seating herself at Crawley retreated with Lord Southdown the piano, began to sing. into a window, where the latter was heard She sang.religious songs of Mozart, which to laugh immoderately, as Rawdon told him had been early favorites of Lady Steyne, and the story of Lady Bareacres wanting horses, with such sweetness and tenderness that the and " knuckling down, by Jove," to Mrs. lady, lingering round the piano, sate down by Crawley. "I think I needn't he afriaid of its side, and listened until the tears rolled that woman," Becky thought. Indeed, La- down her eyes. It is true that the opposidy Bareacres exchanged terrified and angry tion ladies at the other end of the room kept looks with her daughter; and retreated to a up a loud and ceaseless buzzing and talking: table, where she began to look at pictures but the Lady Steyne did not hear those with great energy. rumors. She was a child again-and had When the potentate from the Danube wandered back through a forty years' wildmade his appearance, the conversation was erness to her convent garden. The chapel carried on in the French language, and the organ had pealed the same tones, the organLady Bareacres and the younger ladies ist, the sister whom she loved best of the found, to their farther mortification, that community, had taught them to her in those Mrs. Crawley was much better acquainted early, happy days. She was a girl once with that tongue, and spoke it with a much more, and the brief period of her happiness better accent than they. Becky had met bloomed out again for an hour-she started other Hungarian magnates with the army in when the jarring doors were flung open, and France, in 1816-17. She asked after her with a loud laugh from Lord Steyne, the friends with great interest. The foreign men of the party entered full of gayety. personages thought that she was a lady of He saw at a glance what had happened in great distinction; and the prince and the his absence: and was grateful to his wife for princess asked severally of Lord Steyne and once. He went and spoke to her, and callthe marchioness, whom they conducted to ed her by her Christian-name, so as again to dinner, who was that petite dame who spoke bring blushes to her pale face —" My wife so well? says you have been singing like an angel," Finally, the procession being formed in the he said to Becky. Now there are angels of order described by the American diplomatist, two kinds, and both sorts, it is said, are they marched into the apartment where the charming in their way. banquet was served: and which, as I have Whatever the previous portion of the promised the reader he shall enjoy it, he evening had been, the rest of that night was shall have the liberty of ordering himself so a great triumph for Becky. She sang her as to suit his fancy. very best, and it was so good that every one But it was when the ladies were alone that of the men came and crowded round the Becky knew the tug of war would come. piano. The women, her enemies, were left And then indeed the little woman found her- quite alone. And Mr. Paul Jefferson Jones self in such a situation, as made her acknowl- thought he had made a conquest of Lady edge the correctness of Lord Steyne's cau- Gaunt by going up to her ladyship, and praistion to her to beware of the society of ladies ing aher delightful friend's first-rate singing. above her own sphere. As they say the persons who hate Irishmen most are Irishmen-so, assuredly, the greatest tyrants over women are women. When poor little Becky, CHAPTER L. alone with the ladies, went up to the fireplace whither the great ladies had reparied, CNTAINS A VULGAR INCIDENT. the great ladies marched away and took pos- THE Muse, whoever she be, who presides session of a table of drawings. When Becky over this Comic History, must now descend followed them to the table of drawings, they firom the genteel heights in which she has dropped off one by one to the fire again. She been soaring, and have the goodness to drop tried to speak to one of the children (of whom down upon the lowly roof of John Sedley, at she was commonly fond in public places), Brompton, and describe what events are but master George Gaunt was called away taking place there. Here, too, in this humby his mamma; and the stranger was treat- ble tenement, live care, and distrust, and ed with such cruelty, finally, that even Lady dismay. Mrs. Clapp in the kitchen is grumSteyne herself pitied her, and went up to bling in secret to her husband about the speak to the friendless little woman. rent, and urging the good fellow to rebel' Lord Steyne," said her ladyship, as her against his old friend and patron and his wan cheeks glowed with a blush, " says you present lodger. Mrs. Sedley has ceased to sing and play very beautifully, Mrs. Craw- visit her landlady in the lower regions now, ley —I wish you would do me the kindness and indeed is in a position to patronize Mrs. to sing to me." Clapp no longer. How can one be conde " I will do any thing that may give pleasure scending to a lady to whom one owes a 238 VANITY FAIR. matter of forty pound, and who is perpetually History, and in Music-address A.O., at throwing out hints for the money? The Mr. Brown's;" and she confides the card to Irish maid-servanti has not altered in the the gentleman of the Fine Art Repository, least in her kind and respectful behavior; who consents to allow it to lie upon the but Mrs. Sedley fancies that she is growing counter, where it grows dingy and flyblown. insolent and ungrateful, and, as the guilty Amelia passes the door wistfully many a thief who fears each bush an officer, sees time, in hopes that Mr. Brovwn will have threatening inuendoes and hints of capture some news to give her; but he never beckin all the girl's speeches and answers. Miss ons her in. When she goes to make little Clapp, grown quite a young woman now, is purchases there is no news for her. Poor, declared by the soured old lady to be an un- simple lady, tender and weak-how are you bearable and impudent little minx. Why to battle with the struggling, violent world? Amelia can be so fond of her, or have her in She grows daily more care-worn and sad; her room so much, or walk out with her so fixing upon her child alarmed eyes, whereof constantly, Mrs. Sedley can not conceive. the little boy can not interpret the expresThe bitterness of'poverty has poisoned the sion. She starts up of a night, and peeps life of the once cheerful and kindly woman. into his room stealthily, to see that he is She is thankless for Amelia's constant and sleeping, and not stolen away. She sleeps gentle bearing toward her; carps at her for but little now. A constant thought and terror her efforts at kindness or service; rails at is haunting her. How she weeps and prays her for her silly pride in her child, and her in the long, silent nights-how she tries to neglect of her parents. Georgy's house is hide from herself the thought which will not a very lively one since uncle Jos's annuity return to her, that she. ought to part with has been withdrawn, and the little family are the boy-that she is the only barrier between almost upon famine diet. him and prosperity. She' can't, she can't! Amelia thinks, and thinks, and racks her Not now, at least. Some other day. Oh! brain, to find some means of increasing the it is too hard to think of and to bear. small pittance upon which the household is A thought comes over her which makes starving. Can she give lessons in any thing? her blush and turn fi'om herself-her parents paint card-racks 1 do fine work?, She finds might keep the annuity-the curate would thatwomen are working hard, and better than marry her, and give a home to her and the she can, for twopence a day. She buys a boy. But George's picture and dearest couple of begilt Bristol boards at the fancy memory are there to rebuke her. Shame stationer's, and paints her very best upon and love say no to the sacrifice. She shrinks them —a shepherd with a red waistcoat on firom'it as from something unholy; and such one, and a pink face smiling in the midst of thoughts never found a resting-place in that a pencil landscape-a shepherdess on the pure and gentle bosom. other, crossing a little bridge, with a little The combat, which we describe in a sendog, nicely shaded. The man of the Fancy tence or two, lasted for many weeks in poor Repository and Brompton Emporium of Amelia's heart; during which she had no Fine Arts (of whom she bought the screens, confidante; indeed, she could have none, as vainly hoping that he would re-purchase she would not allow to herself the possibility them when ornamented by her hand),' can of yielding; though she was giving way hardly hide the sneer with which he exam- daily before the enemy with whom she had ines these feeble works of art. He looks to battle. One truth after another was askance at the lady who waits in the shop, marshaling itself silently against her, and and ties up the cards again in their envelop keeping its ground. Poverty and misery of whity-brown paper, and hands them to for all, want and degradation for her parents, the poor widow and Miss Clapp, who had injustice to the boy —one by one the outnever seen such beautiful things in her life, works of the little citadel were taken, in and had been quite confident that the man which the poor soul passionately guarded must give two guineas at least for the her only love and treasure. screens. They try at other shops in the At the beginning of the struggle, she had interior of London, with faint, sickening written off a letter of tender supplication to hopes.' "Don't want'em," says one. "Be her briother at Calcutta, imploring him not off," says another, fiercely. Three and six- to withdraw the support which he had grantpence have been spent in vain-the screens ed to their parents, and painting in terims of retire to Miss Clapp's bed-room, who per- artless pathos their lonely and hapless consists in thinking them lovely. dition. She did not know the truth of the She writes out a little card in her neatest matter. The payment of Jos's annuity was hand, and after long thought and labor of still regular: but it was a money-lender in composition, in which the public is informed the city who was receiving it: old Sedley that "A Lady who has some time at her had sold it for a sum of money wherewith disposal, wishes to undertake the education to prosecute his bootless schemes. Emmy of some little girls. whom she would instruct was calculating eagerly the tinle that would in English, in French, in Geography, in elapse befi re the letter would arrive and be A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 239 answered. She had written down the date her arms were round him. No, it was imin her pocket-book of the day when she dis- possible. They could not be going to part patched it. To her son's guardian, the good What is the matter, mother?" said he; major at Madras, she had not communicated "you look very pale." any of her griefs and perplexities. She had "'Nothing. my child," she said, and stooped not written to him since she wrote to con- down and kissed him. gratulate him on his approaching marriage. That night Amelia made the boy read the She thought, with sickening despondency, story of Samuel to her, and how Hannah, thait that fiiend-the only one, the one who his mother, having weaned him, brought had felt such a regard for her-was fallen him to Eli the High Priest to minister beaway. fore the Lord. And he read the song of One day, when things had come to a very gratitude which Hannah sang: and which bad pass —when the creditors were pressing, says, Who it is who maketh poor and makthe mother in hysteric grief, the father in eth rich, and bringeth low and exaltethmore than usual gloom, the inmates of the how the poor shall be raised up out of the family avoiding each other, each secretly dust, and how, in his own might, no man oppressed with his private unhappiness and shall be strong. Then he read how Samunotion of wrong-the father and daughter el's mother made him a little coat, and happened to be left alone together; and brought it to him, firom year to year, when Amelia thought to comfort her father, by she came up to offer the yearly sacrifice. telling him what she had done. She had And then, in her sweet, simple way, George's written to Joseph-an answer must come mother made commentaries to the boy upon in three or four months. He was always this affecting story. How Hannah, though generous, though careless. He could not she loved her son so much, yet gave him up refuse, when he knew how straitened were because of her vow. And how she must the circumstances of his parents. always have thought of him as she sate at Then the poor old gentleman revealed the home, falr away, making the little coat: and whole truth to her-that his son was still Samuel, she was sure, never forgot his mopaying the annuity, which his own impru- ther: and how happy she must have been as dence had flung away. He had not dared to the time came (and the years pass away tell it sooner. He thought Amelia's ghastly very quick) when she should see her boy, and terrified look, when, with a trembling, and how good and wise he had grown. This miserable voice he made the confession, con- little sermon she spoke with a gentle, solemn veyed reproaches to him for his concealment. voice, and dry eyes, until she came to the " Ah!" said he, with quivering lips and turn- account of their meeting-then the discourse ing away, "you despise your old father now." broke off suddenly, the tender heart over"O papa! it is not that," Amelia cried flowed, and taking the boy to her breast, she out, falling on his neck, and kissing him rocked him in her arms, and wept silently many times. "You are always good and over him in a sainted agony of tears. kind. You did it for the best. It is not for the money-it is —O my God! my God! Her mind being made up, the widow behave mercy upon me, and give me strength gan to take such measures as seemed right to bear this trial;" and she kissed him again to her for advancing the end which she prowildly, and went away. posed. One day, Miss Osborne, in RussellStill the father did not know what that square —(Amelia had not written the name explanation meant, and the burst of anguish or number of the house for ten years —her with which the poor girl left him. It was youth, her early story, came back to her as that she was conquered. The sentence was she wrote the superscription) —one day Miss passed. The child must go from her-to Osborne got a letter from Amelia, which others-to forget her. Her heart and her made her blush very much, and look toward treasure-her joy, hope, love, worship —her her father, sitting glooming in his place at God, almost! She must give him up; and the other end of the table. then-and then she would go to George; In simple terms, Amelia told hei the reaand they would watch over the child, and sons which had induced her to change her wait for him until he came to them in mind respecting her boy. Her father had Heaven. met with fresh misfortunes, which had en She put on her bonnet, scarcely knowing, tirely ruined him. Her own pittance was what she did, and went out to walk in the so small that it would barely enable her to lanes by which George used to come back support her parents, and would not suffice fiom school, and where she was in the habit to give George the advantages which were of going on his return to meet the boy. It his due. Great as her sufferings would be was May, a half-holiday. The leaves were at parting with him, she would, by God's all coming out, the weather was brilliant; help, endure them for the boy's sake. She the boy came running to her, flushed with knew that those to whom he was going, health, singing, his bundle of school-books would do all in their power to make him hanging by a thong. There he was. Both happy. She described his disposition, suchi 240 VANITY FAIR. as she fancied it; quick and impatient of is not going to stop with us long." She control or harslhness; easily to be moved by could say nothing more, and walked away love and kindness. In a postscript, she stip- silently to her room. Let us close it upon ulated that she should have a written agree- her prayers and her sorrow. I think we mnent that she should see the child as often had best speak little about so much love and as she wished-she could not part with him grief. under any other terms. Miss Osborne came the next day, accord"What? Mrs. Pride has come down, ing to the promise contained in her note, has she?" old Osborne said, when, with a and saw Amelia. The meeting between tremulous, eager voice, Miss Osborne read them was friendly. A look and a few words him the letter-" Reg'lar starved out, hey? from Miss Osborne showed the poor widow, ha, ha! I knew she would." He tried to that; with regard to this woman at least, keep his dignity, and to read his paper as there need be no fear lest she should take usual-but he could not follow it. He the first place in her son's affection. She chuckled and swore to himself behind the was cold, sensible, not unkind. The mother sheet. had not been so well pleased, perhaps, had At last he flung it down: and scowling at the rival been better looking, younger, more his daughter, as his wont was, went out of affectionate, warmer-hearted. Miss Osthe room into his study adjoining, from borne, on the other hand, thought of old whence he presently returned with a key. times and memories, and could not but be He flung it to Miss Osborne. touched with the poor mother's pitiful situa"' Get the room over mine-his room that tion. She was conquered, and, laying down was-ready," he said. " Yes, sir," his her arms, as it were, she humbly submitted. daughter replied in a tremble. It was That day they arranged together the preGeorge's room. It had not been opened for liminaries of the treaty of capitulation. more than ten years. Some of his clothes, George was kept fiom school the next papers, handkerchiefs, whips and caps, fish- day, and saw his aunt. Amelia left them ing-rods and sporting gear, were still there. alone together, and went to her room. She An army list of 1814, with his name written was trying the separation: as that poor genon the cover; a little dictionary he was wont tle Lady Jane Grey felt the edge of the ax to use in writing; and the Bible his mother that was to come down and sever her slender had given him, were on the mantel-piece; life. Days were passed in parleys, visits, with a pair of spurs, and a dried inkstand preparations. The widow broke the matter covered with the dust of ten years. Ah! to Georgy with great caution; she looked to since that ink was wet, what days and peo- see him very much affected by the intelliplie lad passed away! The writing-book gence. He was rather elated than ofterstill on the table was blotted with his hand. wise, and the poor woman turned sadly Miss Osborne was much affected when away. He bragged about the news that she first entered this room with the servants day to the boys at school; told them how under her. She sank quite pale on the little he was going to live with his grandpapa, his bed. "This is blessed news, marn —indeed, father's father, not the one who comes here mam," the housekeeper said; "and the good sometimes; and that he would be very rich, old times is returning, manam. The dear lit- and have a carriage, and a pony, and go to tie feller, to be sure, main; how happy he a much finer school, and when he was rich will be! But some folks in May Fair, mam, he would buy Leader's pencil-case, and pay will owe him a grudge, maim;" and she the tart woman. The boy was the image clicked back the bolt which held the win- of his father, as his fond mother thought. dow-sash, and -let the air into the chamber. Indeed I have no heart, on account of our " You had better send that woman some dear Amelia's sake, to go through the story mno.ey," Mr. Osborne said, before he wvent of George's last days at home. out. "She shan't want for nothing. Send At last the day came, the carriage drove her a hundred pound." up, the little humble packets containing to" And I'll go and see her to-morrow?" kens of love and remembrance were ready Miss Osborne asked. and disposed in the hall long since-George "6 That's your look out. She don't come was in his new suit, for which the tailor had in here, mind. No, by —, not for all the come previously to measure him. He had money in London. But she mustn't want sprung up with the sun and put on the new now. So look out, and get things right." clothes; his mother hearing him fiom the With which brief speeches Mr. Osborne room close by, in which she had been lying, took leave of his daughter, and went on his in speechless grief and watching. Days accustomed way into the city. before, she had been making preparations "Here, papa, is some money," Amelia for the end: purchasing little stores for the said that night, kissing the old man, her boy's use; matrking his books and linen; father, amd putting a bill for a hundred talking with him and preparing him for the pounds into his hands. "'And-and, main- change-fondly fancying that he needed ma, don't be harsh with Georgy. He —he preparation. .I~ ~, )! 1 fl IfI i' I _____.., Eti —I K'!__ YG EST G T L f... OGE ORGY CRUES TO CRUCH GNTEELIY (p..l) l: A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO 241 So that he had change, what cared he? the days when he does not come, she takes He was longing for it. By a thousand eager a long walk into London-yes, as far as declarations as to what he would do, when Russell-square, and rests on the stone by he went to'live with his grandfather, he had the railing of the garden opposite Mr. Osshown the poor widow how little the idea borne's house. It is so pleasant and cool. of parting had cast him down. " He would She can look up and see the drawing-room come and see his mamma often on the pony," windows illuminated, and, at about nine he said: "he would come and fetch her in o'clock, the chamber in the upper story. the carriage; they would drive in the park, where Georgy sleeps. She knows-he has and she should have every thing she want- told her. She prays there, as the light goes ed." The poor mother was fain to content out, prays with a humble heart, and walks herself with these selfish demonstrations of home, shrinking and silent. She is very tired attachment, and tried to convince herself when she comes home. Perhaps she will how sincerely her son loved her. He must sleep the better for that long, weary walk; love her. All children were so: a little and she may dream about Georgy. anxious for novelty, and-no, not selfish, but One Sunday she happened to be walking self-willed. Her child must have his enjoy- in Russell-square, at some distace friom Mr. ments and ambition in the world. She her- Osborne's house (she could see it firom a self, by her own selfishness and imprudent distance though), when all the bells of Sablove for him, had denied him his just rights bath were ringing, and George and his aunt and pleasures hitherto. came I out to go to church; a little sweep I know few things more affecting than asked for charity, and the footman, who that timorous debasement and self-humilia- carried the books, tried to drive him away; lion of a woman. How she owns that it is but Georgy stopped and gave him money. she and not the man who is guilty: how she May God's blessing be on the boy! Emmy takes all the faults on her side: how she ran round the square, and coming up to the courts, in a manner, punishment for the sweep, gave him her mite too. All the bells wrongs which she has, not committed, and of Sabbath were ringing, and she followed persists in shielding the real culprit! It is them until she came to the Foundling those who injure women who get the most Church, into which she went. There she kindness firom them-they are born timid sat in a place whence she could see the and tyrants, and maltreat those who are head of the boy under his father's tombstone. humblest before them. Many hundred firesh children's voices iose So poor Amelia had been getting ready in up there and sang hymns to the Father Besilent misery for her son's departure, and neficent; and little George's soul thrilled had passed many and many a long solitary with delight at the burst of glorious psalmhour in making preparations for the end. ody. Hi's mother could not see him for a George stood by his mother, watching her while, through the mist that dimmed her arrangements without the least concern. eyes. Tears had fallen into his boxes; passages had been scored in his favorite books: old toys, relics, treasures had been hoarded away for him, and packed with strange neat- CHAPTER.LI. ness and care-and of all these things the boy took no note. The child goes away IN WICH A CHARADE IS ACTED WHICH MAY smiling, as the mother breaks her heart. OR MAY NOT PUZZLE THE READER. By heavens, it is pitiful, the bootless love AFTER Becky's appearance' at my Lord of women for children in Vanity Fair. Steyne's private and select parties, the A few days are past: and the great event claims of that estimable woman as regards of Amelia's life is consummated. No angel fashion, were settled, and some of the very has intervened. The child is sacrificed and greatest and tallest doors in the inetropolis offered up to fate: and the widow is quite were speedily opened to her-doors so great alone. and tall that the beloved reader and writer The boy comes to see her often, to be hereof may hope in vain to enter at them. sure. H-Ie rides on a pony with the coach- Dear brethren, let us tremble before those man behind him, to the delight of his old august portals. I fancy them guarded by grandfather, Sedley, who walks proudly grooms of the chamber with flaming silver down the lane by his side. She sees him, forks, with which they prong all those who but he is not her boy any more. Why, he have. not the right of the entree. They say rides to see the boys at the little school, too, the honest newspaper fellow who sits in the and to show off before them his new wealth hall and takes down the names of the great and splendor. In two days he has adopted ones who are admitted to the feasts, dies a slight imperious air and patronizing man- after a little time. He can't survive the ner. HIe was born to command, his mother glare of fashion long. It scorches him up, thinks, as his father was before him. as the presence of Jupiter in full dress It is fine weather now. Of evenings on wasted that poor imprudent Semele-a Q 242 VANITY FAIR. giddy moth of a creature, who ruined her- tance with Colonel Crawley when they met self by venturing out of her natural atmos- on the next day at the club, and to compliphere. Her myth ought to be taken to ment Mrs. Crawley in the Ring of Hyde heart among the Tyburnians, the Belgra- Park with a profound salute of the hat. vians-her story, and perhaps Becky's too. She and her husband were invited immeAh, ladies!-ask the Reverend Mr. Thuri- diately to one of the Prince's small parties fer if Belgravia is not a sounding brass, and at Levant House, then occupied by his highTyburnia a tinkling cymbal. These are ness during the temporary absence froca vanities. Even these will pass away. And England of its noble proprietor. She sang, some day or other (but it will be after our after dinner, to a very little comite. The time, thank goodness), Hyde Park Gardens Marquis of Steyne was present, paternally will be no better known than the celebrated superintending the progress of his pupil. horticultural outskirts of Babylon, and Bel- At Levant House Becky met one of the grave-square will be as desolate as Baker- finest gentlemen and greatest ministers that street or Tadmor in the wilderness. Europe has produced-the Duc de la JaboLadies, are you aware that the great Pitt tigre, then embassador from the Most Chrislived in Baker-street? WVhat would not tian King, and subsequently minister to that your grandmothers have given to be asked monarch. I declare I swell with pride as to Lady Hester's parties in that now de- these august names are transcribed by my cayed mansion? I have dined in it-moi pen, and I think in what brilliant company qui vous parle. I peopled the chamber with my dear Becky is moving. She became a ghosts of the mighty dead. As we sate constant guest at the French Embassy. soberly drinking claret there with men of where no party was considered to be comto-day, the spirits of the departed came in plete without the presence of the charming and took their places round the darksome Madame Ravdonn Cravley. board. The pilot who weathered the storm Messieurs de Truffigny (of the Perigord tossed off great bumpers of spiritual port: family) and Champignac, both attaches of the shade of Dundas did not leave the ghost the Embassy, were straightway smitten by of a heeltap; Addington sate bowing and the charms of the fair colonel's wife: and smirking in a ghostly manner, and would both declared, according to the wont of their not be behindhand when the noiseless bottle nation, (for who ever yet met a Frenchman, wenrt round; Scott, from under bushy eye- come out of England, that has not left half a brows, winked at the apparition of a bee's- dozen families miserable, and brought away wing; Wilberforce's eyes went up to the as many hearts in his pocket-book?) both, I Zeiling, so that he did not seem to know how say, declared that they were au mieux with his glass went up full to his mouth, and the charming Madame Ravdonn. camrne down empty-up to the ceiling which But I doubt the correctness of the asserwas above us only yesterday, and which the tion. Champignac was very fond of icalrt6, great of the last days have all looked at. and made many parties with the colonel of They let the house as a furnished lodging evenings, while Becky was singing to Lord now. Yes, Lady Hester once lived in Steyne in the other room; and as for TrufBaker-street, and lies asleep in the wilder- figny, it is a well-known fact that he dared ness. Eothen saw her there-not in Baker- not go to the Travelers', where he owed street, but in the other solitude. money to the waiters, and if he had not It is all vanity to be sure, but who will had the Embassy as a dining-place, the wornot own to liking a little of it? I should thy young gentleman must have starved. like to know what well-constituted mind, I doubt, I say, that Becky would have semerely because it is transitory, dislikes roast- lected either of these young men as a pet son beef? That is a vanity; but may every on whom she would bestow her special reman who reads this, have a wholesome por- gard. They ran of her messages, purchased tion of it through life, I beg; aye, though her gloves and flowers, went in debt for my leaders were five hundred thousand. opera-boxes for her, and made themselves Sit down, gentlemen, and fall to, with a amiable in a thousand ways. And they good hearty appetite; the fat, the lean, the' talked English with adorable simplicity, and gravy, the horse-radish-as you like it- to the constant amusement of Becky and don't spare it. Another glass of wine, Jones, my Lord Steyne. She would mimic one my boy-a little bit of the Sunday side. or other to his face,'and compliment him on Yes, let us eat our fill of the vain thing, and his advance in the English language with a be thankful therefor. And let us make the gravity which never failed to tickle the marbest of Becky's aristocratic pleasures like- quis, her sardonic old patron. Truffigny wise-for these too, like all other mortal gave Briggs a shawl by way of winning over delights, were but transitory. Becky's confidante, and asked her to take charge of a letter, which the simple spinster The upshot of her visit to Lord Steyne handed over in public to the person to whom was, that His Highness. the Prince of Peter- it was addressed, and the composition of waradmn took occasion to renew his acquain- which amused every body who read it A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 243 greaty. Lord Steyne read it: fevery body the mysteries of freemasonry, although I but honest Rawdon, to whom it was not have a shrewd idea that it is a humbug: so necessary to tell every thing that passed in an uninitiated man can not take upon himthe little house in May Fair. self to portray the great world accurately, Here, before long, Becky received not and had best keep his opinions to himself only 1" the best" foreigners (as the phrase is whatever they are. in our noble and admirable society-slang), but Becky has often spoken, in subsequent some of the best English people, too. I don't years, of this season of her life, when she mean the most virtuous, or, indeed, the least moved among the very greatest circles of the virtuous, or the cleverest, or the stupidest, London fashion. Her success excited, elat or the richest, or the best born, but "the ed, and then bored her. At first no occupa best"-in a word, people about whom there tion was more pleasant than to invent and is no question-such as the great Lady Fitz- procure (the latter a work of no small trouble Willis, that patron saint of Almacks', the and ingenuity, by the way, in a person of great Lady Slowbore, the great Lady Griz- Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's very narrow means) zel Macbeth (she was Lady G. Glowry, -tb procure, we say, the prettiest new daughter of Lord Grey of Glowry), aid the dresses and o'naments; to drive to fine like. When the Countess of Fitz-Willis dinner parties, where she was welcomed by (her ladyship is of the King-street family, great people; and firom the fine dinner parsee Debrett and Burke), takes up a person, ties to fine assemblies, whither the same he or she is safe. There is no question people came with whom -she had been about them any more. Not that my Lady dining, whom she had met the night before, Fitz-Willis is any better than any body else, and would see on the morrow —the young being, on the contrary, a faded person, fifty- men faultlessly appointed, handsomely craseven years of age, and neither handsome, vatted, with the neatest glossy boots and white nor wealthy, nor entertaining; but it is gloves; the elders portly, brass-buttoned. agreed on all sides that she is of the "best noble-looking, polite, and prosy; the young people." Those who go to her are of the ladies blonde, timid, and in pink;' the mothbest: and from an old grudge, probably, to ers grand, beautiful, sumptuous, solemn, and Lady Steyne (for whose coronet her lady- in diamonds. They talked in English, not in ship, then the youthful Georgiana Frederica, bad French, as they do in the novels. They daughter of the Prince of Wales' favorite, talked about each others' houses, and charthe Earl of Portansherry, had once tried), acters, and families: just as the Joneses do this great and famous leader of the fashion about the Smiths. Becky's former acquaintchose to acknowledge Mrs. Rawdon Craw- ances hated and envied her': the poor woman ley: made her a most marked courtesy at the herself was yawning in spirit. " I wish I were assembly over which she presided: and not out of it," she said to herself. "I would rather only encouraged her son, St. Kitts (his lord- be a parson's wife, and teach a Sunday school ship got his place through Lord Steyne's than this; or a sergeant's lady, and ride in the interest), to frequent Mrs. Crawley's house, regimentalwagon; or, oh, how much gayer it but asked her to her own mansion, and would be to wear spangles and trowsers, and spoke to her twice in the most public and dance before a booth at a fair." condescending manner during dinner. The "You would do it very well," said Lord important fact was known all over London Steyne, laughing. She used to tell the great that night. People who had been crying fie man her ennuis and perplexities in her artabout Mrs. Crawley were silent. Wenham, less way-they amused him. the wit and lawyer, Lord Steyne's right- "Rawdon would make a very good ecuyer hand man, went about every where prais- -master of the ceremonies-what do you ing her: some who had hesitated, came call him-the man inthe large boots and the forward at once and welcomed her: little uniform, who goes round the ring, cracking Tom Toady, who had warned Southdown the whip? He is large, heavy, and of a about visiting such an abandoned woman, military figure. I recollect," Becky continnow besought to be introduced to her. In a ued, pensively, " my father took me to see word, she was admitted to be among the a show at Brookgreen Fair when I was a "best" people. Ah, my beloved readers child; and when we came home I made myand brethren, do not envy poor Becky pre- self a pair of stilts, and danced in the studio maturely-glolry like this is said to be fugi- to the wonder of all the pupils." tive. It is currently reported that even in "I should have liked to see it," said Lord the very inmost circles, they are no happier Steyne. than the poor wanderers outside the zone; "I should like to do it now," Becky and Becky, who penetrated into the very continued. "How Lady Blinkey would center of fatshion, and saw the great George open her eyes, and Lady Grizzel Macbeth IV. faice to face, has owned since that there, would stare! Hush! silence! there is Pasta too, was Vanity. beginning to sing." Becky always made a We must be brief in descanting upon this point of being conspicuously polite to the part of her career. As I can not describe professional ladies and gentlemen who at 244 VANITY FAIR. tended at these aristocratic parties-of fob dear frie'd showed the same frankness lowing them into the corners where they which distinguished her transactions with sate in silence, and shaking hands with them, the lowly in station. On one occasion, when and smiling in the view of all persons. She out at a very fine house, Rebecca was (perwas an artist herself, as she said very truly; haps rather ostentatiously) holding a conver there was a frankness and humility in the sation in the French language with a celemanner in which she acknowledged her brated tenor singer of that nation, while the origin, which provoked, or disarmed, or Lady Grizzel Macbeth looked over her amused lookers-on, as the case might be. shoulder scowling at the pair. " How cool that woman is," said one; " How very well you speak French," " what airs of independence she assumes, Lady Grizzel said, who herself spoae the where she ought to sit still, and be thankful tongue -in a Edinburgh accent, most remark if any body speaks to her." " What an able to hear. honest and good-natured soul she is," said "I ought to know it," Becky modestly another. "What an artful little minx," said said, casting down her eyes. "I taught it a third. They were all right, very likely; in a school, and my mother was a French but Becky went her own way, and so fas- woman." cinated the professional personages, that Lady Grizzel was won by her humility, they would leave off their sore throats, in and was mollified toward the little woman. order to sing at her parties, and give her She deplored the fatal leveling tendencies lessons for nothing. of the age, which admitted persons of all Yes, she gave parties in the little house classes into the society of their superiors: in Curzon-street. Many scores of carriages, but her ladyship owned, that this one at with blazing lamps, blocked up the street, to least was well behaved, and never forgot her the disgust of No. 100, who could not rest place in life. She was a very good woman: for the thunder of the knocking, and of 102, good to the poor: stupid, blameless, unsuspiwho could not sleep for envy. The gigan- cious. It is not her ladyship's fault that she tic footmen who accompanied the vehicles, fancies herself better than you and me. were too big to be contained in Becky's little The skirts of her ancestors' garments have hall, and were billeted off in the neighboring been kissed for centuries: it is a thousand public-houses, whence, when they were years, they say, since the tartans of the wanted, call-boys summoned them from their head of the family were embraced'by the beer. Some of the great dandies of London defunct Duncan's lords and councilors, when squeezed and trod on each other on the little the great ancestor of the house became stairs, laughing to find themselves there; King of Scotland. and many spotless and severe ladies of ton Lady Steyne, after the music scene, sucwere seated in the little drawing room, lis- cumbed before Becky, and perhaps was not tening to the professional singers, who were disinclined to her. The younger ladies of singing according to their wont, and as if they the house of Gaunt were also compelled wished to blow the windows down. And into submission. Once or twice they set the day after there appeared among the people at her, but they failed. The brillfashionablereunions in the "Morning Post," iant Lady Stunnington tried a passage of a paragraph to the following effect:- arms with her, but was routed with great "Yesterday, Colonel and Mrs. Crawley slaughter by the intrepid little Becky. When entertained a select party at dinner at their attacked sometimes, Becky had a knack of house in May Fair. Their Excellencies the adopting a demure ingenue air, under which Prince and Princess of Peterwaradin, H. E. she was the most dangerous. She said the Papoosh Pasha, the Turkish Embassador wickedest things with the most simple un(attended by Kibob Bey, dragoman of the affected air, when in this mood, and would mission), the Marquis of Steyne, Earl of take care artlessly to apologize for her blunSouthdown, Sir Pitt and Lady Jane Craw- ders, so that all the world should know that ley, Mr. Wagg, &c. After dinner Mrs. she had made them. Crawley had an assembly which was at- Mr. Wagg, the celebrated wit, and a ledtended by the Duchess (Dowager) of Stil- captain and trencher-man of my Lord ton, Duc de la Gruyere, Marchioness of Steyne, was caused by the ladies to charge Cheshire, Marchese Alessandro Strachino, her; and the worthy fellow, leering at his Comte de Brie, Baron Schapzuger, Cheva- patronesses, and giving them a wink, as lier Tosti, Countess of Slingstone, and Lady much as to say 1" Now look out for sport"F. Macadam, Major-general and Lady G. one evening began an assault upon Becky, Macbeth, and (2) Miss Macbeths; Viscount who was unsuspiciously eating her dinner. Paddington. Sir Horare Fogey, Hon. Sands The little woman, attacked on a sudden, but Bedwin, Bobbachy Bahawder," and an never without arms, lighted up in an instant, "3 c." which the reader may fill at his parried and reposted with a home-thrust, pleasure through a dozen close lines of which made Wagg's face tingle with shame; smnall type. then she returned to her soup, with the And in her commerce with the great our most perfect calm and a quiet smile on her A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 245 face. Wagg's great patron, who gave him pathetic representations. Young Feltham, dinners and lent him a little money some- of the -th dragoons, (and son of the firm times, and whose election, newspaper, and of Tiler and Feltham, hatters and army acother jobs Wagg did, gave the luckless fel- couterment makers), and whom the Crawlow such a savage glance with the eyes as leys introduced into fashionable life, was almost to make him sink under the table also cited as one of Becky's victims in the and burst into tears. He looked piteously pecuniary way. People declared that she at my lord, who never spoke to him during got money from various simply disposed perdinner, and at the ladies, who disowned him. sons, under pretense of getting them conAt last Becky herself took compassion upon fidential appointments under government. him, and tried to engage him in talk. He Who knows what stories were or were not was not asked to dinner again for six weeks; told of our dear and iinocentfriend? Certain and Fiche, my lord's confidential man, to it is, that if she had had all the money which whom Wagg naturally paid a good deal of she was said to have begged or borrowed or court, was instructed to tell him that if he stolen, she might have capitalized and been ever dared to say a rude thing to Mrs. Craw- honest for life, whereas-but this is advancley again, or make her the butt of his stupid ing matters. jokes, milor would put every one of his The truth is, that by economy and good notes of hand into his lawyer's hands, and management-by a sparing use of ready sell him up without mercy. Wagg wept money, and by paying scarcely any bodybefore Fiche, and implored his dear friend people can manage, for a time at least, to to intercede for him. He wrote a poem in make a great show with very little means: favor of Mrs. R. C., which appeared in the and it is our belief that Becky's much-talkedvery next number of the " Harumscaruln of parties, which were not, after all was said, Magazine," which he conducted. He im- vely numnerous, cost this lady very little more plored her good will at parties where he than the wax candles which lighted the walls. met her. He clinged and coaxed Rawdon Stillbrook and Queen's Crawley supplied her at the club. He was allowed to come back with game and fruit in abundance. Lord to Gaunt House after a while. Becky was Steyne's cellars were at her disposal, and always good to him, always amused, never that excellent nobleman's famous cooks angry. presided over her little kitchen, or sent by HIis lIordship's vizier and chief confidential my lord's order the rarest delicacies from servant (with a seat in parliament and at the their own. I protest it is quite shameful dinner table), Mr. Wenham, was much more in the world to abuse a simple creature, as prudent in his behavior and opinions than people of her time abused Becky, and 1 warn Mr. Wagg. However much he might be the public against believing one-tenth of the disposed to hate all parvenus (Mr. Wen- stories against her. If every person is to ham himself was a staunch old True Blue be banished from society who runs into debt Tory, and his father a small coal-merchant and can not pay-if we are to be peering inin the north of England), this aid-de-camp to every body's private life, speculating upof the marquis never showed any sort of on their income, and cutting them if we don't hostility to the new favorite; but pursued approve of their expenditure-why, what a her with steakthy kindnesses, and a sly and howling wilderness and intolerable dwelling deferential politeness, which somehow made Vanity Fair would be. Every man's hand Becky more uneasy than other people's would be against his neighbor in this case, o7ert hostilities. my dear sir, and the benefits of civilization How the Crawleys got the money which would be done away with. We should be was spent upon the entertainments with quarreling, abusing, avoiding one another. which they treated the polite world, was a Our houses would become caverns: and we mystery which gave rise to some conversa- should go in rags because we cared for tion at the time, and probably added zest to nobody. Rents would go down. Parties these little festivities. Some persons aver- wouldn't be given any more. All the tradesred that Sir Pitt Crawley gave his brother men of the town would be bankrupt. Wine, a handsome allowance: if he did, Becky's wax-lights, comestibles, rouge, crinoline-petpower over the baronet must have been ex- ticoats, diamonds, wigs, Louis- Quatorze gimtraordinary indeed, and his character greatly cracks, and old china, park hacks and splenchanged in his advanced age. Other parties did high-stepping carriage horses-all the hinted that it was Becky's habit to levy con- delights of life, I say, would go to the deuce, tributions on all her husband's fiiends: going if people did but act upon their silly princito this one in tears with an account that there ples, and avoid those whom they dislike was an execution in the house; falling on her and abuse. Whereas, by a little charity and knees to that one, and declaring that the mutual forbearance, things are made to go on whole family must go to jail or commit suicide pleasantly enough: we may abuse a man as unless such and such a bill could be paid. much as we like, and call him the greatest Lord Southdown, it was said, had been in- rascal unhung-but do we wish to hang him duced to give many hundreds through these therefore? No We shake hands when 246 VANITY FAIR. we meet. If his cook is good we forgive was a personage of no small importance.him, and go and dine with him; and we ex- In his volume there were several pictures of pect he will do the same by us. Thus trade Sands, in various oriental costumes; and he flourishes-civilization advances: peace is traveled about with a black attendant of most kept-new dresses are wanted for new as- unprepossessing appearance, just like anothsemblies every week; and the last year's er Brian de ]Bois Guilbert. Bedwin, his vintage of Lafitte will remunerate the hon- costumes, and black man, were hailed at est proprietor who reared it. Gaunt House as very valuable acquisitions. At the time whereof we are writing, He led off the first charade. A Turkish though the Great George was on the throne officer with an immense plume of feathers and ladies wore gigots and large combs like (the Janizzaries were supposed to be still tortoise-shell shovels intheir hair, instead of in existence, and the tarboosh had not as the simple sleeves and lovely wreaths which yet displaced the ancient and majestic head are actually in fashion, the manners of the dress of the true believers) was seen couch very polite world were not, I take it, essen- ed on a divan, and making believe to puff at tially different from those of the present a narghile, in which, however, for the sake day: and their amusements pretty similiar. of the ladies, only a fragrant pastille was To us, from the outside gazing over the allowed to smoke. The Turkish dignitary policemen's shoulders at the bewildering yawns and expresses signs of weariness and beauties as they pass into court or ball, they idleness. He claps his hands and Mesrour may seem beings of unearthly splendor, and the Nubian appears, with bare arms, bangles, in the enjoyment of an exquisite happiness yataghans, and every eastern ornament — by us unattainable. It is to console some of gaunt, tall and hideous. He makes a salaam these dissatisfied beings, that we are narrat- before my lord the Aga. ing our dear Becky's struggles, and triumphs, A thrill of terror and delight runs through and disappointments, of all of which, indeed, the assembly. The ladies whisper to one as is the case with all persons of merit, she another. The black slave was given to had her share. Bedwin Sands by an Egyptian Pasha in exAt this time the amiable amusement of change for three dozen of Maraschino. He acting charades had come among us fiom has sewn up evey so many odalisques in France: and were considerably in vqgue in sacks, and tilted them into the Nile. this country, enabling the many ladies among "Bid the slave-merchant enter," says the us who. had beauty to display their charms; Turkish voluptuary, with a wave of his hand. and the fewer number who had cleverness, Mesrour conducts the slave-merchant into to exhibit their wit. My Lord Steyne was my lord's presence: he brings a vailed female incited by Becky, who perhaps believed her- with him. He removes her vail. A thrill self endowed with both the above qualifi- of applause bursts through the house. It is cations, to give an entertainment at Gaunt Mrs. Winkworth (she was a Miss Absolom) House, which should include some of these with the beautiful eyes and hair. She is in a little dramas-and we must take leave to in- gorgeous oriental costume; the black, braidtroduce the reader to this brilliant reunion, ed locks are twined with innumerable jewand with a melancholy welcome too, for it els; her dress is covered over with gold will be among the very last of the fashion- piasters. The odious Mohammedan exable entertainments to which it will be our presses himself charmed by her beautyfortune to conduct him. She falls down on her knees, and entreats A. portion of that splendid room, the pic- him to restore her to the mountains wnere ture-gallery of Gaunt House, was arranged she was born, and whbre her Cirlassian as the charade theater. Ithad been so used lover is still deploring the absence of his when George III. was king; and a picture Zuleika. No entreaties will move the obof the Marquis of Gaunt is still extant, with durate Hassan. He laughs at the notion of his hair in powder and a pink ribbon, in a the Circassian bridegroom. Zuleika covers Roman shape, as it was called, enacting the her face with her hands, and drops down in part of Cato in Mr. Addison's tragedy of an attitude of the most beautiful despair. that name, performed before their Royal There seems to be no hope for her, when Highnesses the Prince of Wales, the Bishop -when the Kislar Aga appears. of Osnaburgh, and Prince William Henry, The Kislar Aga brings a letter from the then children like the actor. One or two of sultan. Hassan receives and places on his the old properties were drawn out of the head the dread firman. A ghastly terror garrets, where they had lain ever since, and seizes him, while on the negro's face (it is furbished up anew for the present festivities. Mesrour again in another costume) appears Young Bedwin Sands, then an elegant a ghastly joy. "'Mercy! mercy!" cries the dandy and eastern traveler, was manager of pasha; while the Kislar Aga, grinning horthe revels. An eastern traveler was some- ribly, pulls out-a bow-string. body in those days, and the adventurous Bed- The curtain draws just as he is going to win, who had published his quarto, and pass- use that awful weapon. Hassan from withed some months under the tents in the desert, in bawls out, "First two syllables"-and I'll,,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Alehn'K' THEl TRIUMPH OF GLTYIMNESTR.& 1,247! i/ if; I~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~, ~!~ A NOVEI, WITHOUT A HERO. 247 Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, who is going to act The performers were called by the whole in the charade, comes forward and compli- house, which sounded with cries of." Man ments IMrs. Winkworth on the admirable ager! Clytemnestra!" Agamemnon could taste and beauty of her costume. not be got to show in his classical tunic, but The second part of the charade takes stood in the back ground with AEgisthus and place. It is still an eastern scene. Hassan, others of the performers of the little play. in another dress, is in an attitude by Zuleika, Mr. Bedwin Sands led on Zuleika and ClyVwho is perfectly reconciled to him. The temnestra. A great personage insisted upon Kislar Aga has become a peaceful black being presented to the charming Clytemslave. It is sunrise on the desert, and the nestra. "Heigh ha? Run him through Turks turn their heads eastward and bow the body. Marry somebody else, hay?" t) the sand. As there are no dromedaries was the apposite remark made by his Royal at hand, the band facetiously plays "Tlhe Highness. Camels are coming." An enormous Egyp- "Mrs. Rawdon Crawley was quite killing tian head figures in the scene. It is a mu- in the part," said Lord Steyne. Becky sical one-and, to the surprise of the orien- laughed; gay, and saucy looking, and swept tal travelers, sings a comic song, composed the prettiest little courtesy ever seen. by Mr. Wagg. The eastern voyagers go Seivants brought in salvers covered with off dancing, like Papageno and the Moorish numerous cool dainties, and the performers King in the Magic Flute. "Last two sylla- disappeared, to get ready for the second bles" roars the head. charade-tableau. The last act opens. It is a Grecian tent The three syllables of this charade were this time. A tall and stalwart man reposes to be depicted in pantomine, and the per on a couch there. Above him hang his heI- formance took place in the following wise:met and shield. There is no need for them First syllable. Colonel Rawdon Crawley, now. Iliumrn is down. Iphigenia is slain. C. B., with a slouched hat and staff, a great Cassandra is a prisoner in his outer halls. coat, and a lantern borrowed from the stables, The king of men (it is Colonel Crawley, passed across the stage bawling out, as if who, indeed, has no notion about the sack warning the inhabitants of the hour. In the of Ilium or the conquest of Cassandra), the lower window are seen two bagmen playing ivaf avd pS,v is asleep in his chamber at Argos. apparently at the game of cribbage, over A lamp casts the broad shadow of the sleep- which they yawn much; To them enters ing warrior flickering on the wall-the sword one looking like Boots (the Honorable G. and shield of Troy glitter in its light. The Ringwood), which character the young genband plays the awful music of Don Juan, be- tleman performed to perfection-and divests fore the statue enters. them of their lower covering; and presently -Egisthus steals in pale and on tiptoe. chambermaid (the Right Honorable Lord What is that ghastly face looking out bale- Southdown) with two candlesticks and a fully after him from behind the arras? He warming-pan. She ascends to the upper raises his dagger to strike the sleeper, who apartment and warms the bed. She uses turns in his bed, and opens his broad chest the warming-pan as a weapon wherewith as if for the blow. He can not strike the she wards off the attention of the bagmen. noble, slumbering chieftain. Clytemnestra She exits. They put on their nightcaps, glides swiftly into the room like an appari- and pull down the blinds. Boots comes out tion-her arms are bare and white-her and closes the shutters of the ground-floor tawny hair floats down her shoulders —her chamber. You hear him bolting and chaining face is deadly pale-and her eyes-are light- the door within. All the lights go out. The ed up with a smile so ghastly, that the peo- music plays Dormez, dormez chers Amours. ple quake as they look at her. A voice firom behind the curtain says, "' First A tremor ran through the room. " Good syllable." God!" somebody said, " it's Mrs. Rawdon Second syllable. The lamps wre lighted Crawley." up all of a sudden. The musih plays the Scornfully she snatches the dagger out of old air fiom John of Paris, Ah q,,el plaisir iEgisthus's hand, and advances to the bed. d'etre en voyage. It is the same scene. BeYou see it shining over her head in the tween the first and second floors of the house glimmer of the lamp, and-and the lamp represented, you behold a sign on which the goes out, with a groan, and all is dark. Steyne arms are painted. All the bells are The darkness and the scene frightened ringing all over the house. In the lower people. Rebecca performed the part so apartment you see a man with a long slip of well, and with such ghastly truth, that the paper presenting it to another, who shakes spectalors were all dumb, until, with a burst, his fist, threatens, and vows that it is monall the lamps of the hall blazed out again, strous. "Ostler, bring round mygig," cries when every body began to shout applause. another at the door. He chucks chamber*'Brava! brava!" old Steyne's strident voice maid (the Right Honorable Lord Southwas heard roaring over all-the rest. "By-, down) under the chin; she seems to deplore she'd do it too," he said between his teeth. his absence, as Calypso did that of that other ?348 VANITY FAIR. eminent traveler, Ulysses. Boots (thle Hon- More applause-it is Mrs. Rawdon Craw orable G. Ringwood) passes with a wooden ley in powder and patches, the most ravzr box, containing silver flagons, and cries sante little marquise in the wold. 6"Pots" with such exquisite humor and nat- She comes in lauglhing, humming, an4 uralness, that the whole house rings with frisks about the stage with all the innocence applause, and a bouquet is thrown to him. of theatrical youth-she makes a courtesy Crack, crack, crack, go the whips. Land- Mamma says " Why child, you are always lord, chambermaid, waiter rush to the door; laughing and singing," and away she goes but just as some distinguished guest is witharriving, the curtains close, and the invisible THE ROSE UPON MY BALCONY. theatrical manager cries out" Second syllable." The rose upon my balcony the morning air pex "I think it must be I hotel,' " says Captain fuming, Was leafless all the winter time and pining for the (Grigg of the Life Guards; there is a general spring; laugh at the captain's cleverness. He is not You ask me why her breath is sweet and why hei very far firom the mark. cheek is blooming, While the third syllable is in preparation, It is because the sun is out and birds begin to sing. the band begins a nautical medley -"All in The nightingale, whose melody is through the the Downs," " Cease Rude Boreas," " Rule greenwood ringing, Brittania," "In the Bay of Biscay o0 Was silent when the boughs were bare and winds were blowing keen: some maritime event is about to take place. And if, mamma, you ask of me the reason of his A bell is heard ringing as the curtain draws singing; aside. " Now, gents., for the shore," a voice It is because the sun is out and all the leaves are exclaims. People take leave of each other. green. They point anxiously as if toward the clouds, Thus each performs his part, mamma, the birds which are represented by a dark curtain, and have found their voices, they nod their heads in fear. Lady Squeams The blowing rose a flush, mamma, her bonny cheek to dye; (the Right Honorable Lord Southdown), her And there's sunshine in my heart, mamma, which lap-dog, her bags, reticules, and husband, sit wakens and rejoices, down and cling hold of some ropes. It is And so I sing and blush, mamma, and that's the evidently a ship. reason why..The captain (Colonel Crawley, C. B.), During the intervals of the stanzas of with a cocked hat and a telescope, comes in, this ditty, the good-natured personage adholding his hat on his head, and looks out; dressed as mamma by the singer, and whose his coat tails fly about as if in the wind. large whiskers appeared under her cap, WThen he leaves go of his hat to use his seemed very anxious to exhibit her matelescope, his hat flies off, with immense ternal affection by embracing the innocent applause. It is blowing fresh. The music creature-who performed the daughter's part. rises and whistles louder and louder; the Every caress was received with loud acmariners go across the stage staggering, as clamnations of laughter by the sympathizing if the ship was in severe motion. The audience. At its conclusion (while the steward (the Honorable G. Ringwood) passes music was performing a symphony as if reeling by, holding six basins. He puts one ever so many birds were warbling) the rapidly by Lord Squeams: Lady Squeams, whole house was unanimlous for an encore: giving a pinch to her dog, which begins to and applause and bouquets without end howl piteously, puts her pocket-handkerchief were showered upon the NIGHTINGALE of to her face, and rushes away as if for the the evening. Lord Steyne's voice of apcabin. The music rises up to the wildest plause was loudest of all. Becky, the nightpitch of stormy excitement, and the third ingale, took the flowers which he threw to vyllable is concluded. her, and pressed them to her heart with the There v as a little ballet, Le Rossinol, in air of a consummate comedian. Lord Steyne which M ntessu and Noblet used to be was frantic with delight. His guests' entLmous in those days, and which Mr. Wagg thusiasm harmonized with his own. Where transferred to the English stage as an opera, was the beautiful black-eyed Houri whose putting his verse, of which he was a skillful appearance in the first charade had caused writer, to the pretty airs of the ballet. It such delight. She was twice as handsome was dressed in old French costume, and little as Becky, but the brilliancy of the latter Lord Southdown now appeared admirably had quite eclipsed her. All voices were for attired in the disguise of an old woman hob- her. Stephens, Caradori, Ronzi de Begnis, bling about the stage with a faultless crooked people compared her to one or the other, stick. and agreed, with good reason very'likely, Trills of melody were heard behind the that had she been an actress none on the scenes, and gurgling fiom a sweet paste- stage could have surpassed her. She had board cottage covered with roses and trellis reached her culmination: her voice rose work. "Philomile, Philomele," cries the trilling and bright over the storm of ap, old woman, and Philomele comes out. plause: and soared as high and joyful as III - -::- / g -KQ...... /,? ~ li ~I I J' —7,4-394> i. z 2,,/.'{'... i' ('4/7 7 r~~~~~ - ) I'I - — _=_,~' ",-' —>~ ~,.>_. ~.-> ~' A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 249 her triumph. There was a ball after the melted into her champagne if she likeddramatic entertainments, and every body another Cleopatra; and the potentate of pressed round Becky as the great point of Peterwaradin would have given half the attraction of the evening. The royal per- brilliants off his jacket for a kind glance from sonage declared with an oath, that she was those dazzling eyes. Jabotiere wrote home perfection, and engaged her again and again about her to his government. The ladies in conversation. Little Becky's soul swelled at the other tables, who supped off mere with pride and delight at these honors; she silver, and marked Lord Steyne's constant saw fortune, fame, fashion befobre her. Lord attention to her, vowed it was a monstrous Steyne was her slave; followed her every infatuation, a gross insult to ladies of rank. where, and scarcely spoke to any one in If sarcasm could have killed, Lady Stunthe room beside; and paid her the most nington would have slain her on the spot. marked compliments and attention. She Rawdon Crawley was scared at these still appeared in her marquise costume, and triumphs. They seemed to separate his danced a minuet with Monsieur de Truf- wife farther than ever from him, somehow. -figny, Monsieur le Due de la Jabotiere's He thought, with a feeling very like pain, attache; and the duke, who had all the tra- how immeasurably she was his superior. ditions of the ancient court, pronounced When the hour of departure came, a that Madame Crawley was worthy to have crowd of young men followed her to her been a pupil of Vestris, or to have figured carriage, for which the people without at Versailles. Only a feeling of dignity, bawled, the cry being caught up by the link, the gout, and the strongest sense of duty men who were stationed outside the tall and personal sacrifice, prevented his ex- gates of Gaunt House, congratulating each cellency firom dancing with her himself; person who issued fiom lthe gate, and hoping and he declared in public, that a lady who his lordship had enjoyed this noble party. could talk and dance like Mrs. Rawdlon, Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's carriage, coming was fit to be embassadress at any court in up to the gate after due shouting, rattled Europe. He was only consoled when he into the illuminated court-yard, and drove heard that she was half a Frenchwoman up to the covered way. Rawdon put his by birth. "None but a compatriot," his wife into the carriage, which drove off. Mr. excellency declared, " could have performed Wenham had proposed to him to walk that majestic dance in such a way." home, and offered the colonel the refresh Then she figured in a waltz with Mon- ment of a cigar. sieur de Klingenspohr, the Prince of Peter- They lighted their cigars by the lamp of waradin's cousin and attachb. The de- one of the many link-boys outside, and lighted prince, having less retenue than his Rawdon walked on with his friend Wenham. French diplomatic colleague, insisted upon Two persons separated fioml the crowd and taking a turn with the charming creature, followed the two gentlemen; and when they and twirled around the ball-room with her, had walked down Gaunt-square a few score scattering the diamonds out of his boot- of paces, one of the men came up, and touchtassels and hussar jacket, until his highness ing Rawdon on the shoulder, said, "Beg was fairly out of breath. Papoosh Pasha your pardon, colonel, I vish to speak to you himself would have liked to dance with her most particular." The gentleman's acquaintif that amusement had been the custom of ance gave a loud whistle as the latter spoke, his country. The company made a circle at which signal a cab came clattering up round her, and applauded as wildly as if firom those stationed at the gate of Gaunt; she had been a Noblet or a Taglioni. Every House-and the aid-de-camp ran round4and body was in ecstacy; and Becky too, you placed himself in front of Colonel CrawJey. may be sure. She passed by Lady Stun- That gallant officer at once knew what nington with a look of scorn. She patron- had befallen him. He was in the hands of ized Lady Gaunt and her astonished and the bailiffs. He started back, falling against mortified sister-in-law-she ecrascd all rival the man who had first touched him. charmers. As for poor Mrs. Winkworth, "We're three on us-it's no use bolting," and her long hair and great eyes, which had the man behind said. made such an effect at the commencement "It's you, Moss, is it?" said the colonel, of the evening;- where was she now? No- who appeared to know his interlocutorwhere in the race. She might tear her long "How much is it?" hair and cry her great eyes out; but there "Only a small thing," whispered Mr. was not a person to heed or to deplore the Moss, of Cursitor-street, Chancery-lane, discomfiture. and assistant officer to the Sheriff of Middle The greatest triumph of all was at supper sex-" One hundred and sixty-six, six and time. She was placed at the grand ex- eightpence, at the suit of Mr. Nathan." elusive table with his royal highness, the ", Lend me a hundred, Wenham, for exalted personage before mentioned, and God's sake," poor Rawdon said-" I've got the rest of the great guests. She was served seventy at home." on gold plate. She might have had pearls "I've not got ten pounds in the world," 250 VANITY FAIR. said poor Mr. Wenham —" Good night my laics; but many of the noble governors ot dear fellow." the Institution, with an enlarged and rather " Good night," said Rawdon ruefully. capricious benevolence, selected all sorts of And Wenham walked away-and Rawdon objects for their bounty. To get an educaCrawley finished his cigar as the cab drove tion for nothing, and a future livelihood and under Temple Bar. profession assured, was so excellent a scheme that some of the richest people did not disdain it; and not only great men's relations, but great men themselves, sent their sons CHAPTER LII. to profit by the chance-Right Rev. Prelates sent their own kinsmen or the sons of their ICH LORD STEYN AMIAE SHOWS HIMSGHT. clergy, while, on the other hand, some great noblemen did not disdain to patronize the WTHEN Lord Steyne was benevolently- children of their confidential servants-so disposed, he did nothing by halves, and his that a lad entering this establishment had kindness toward the Crawley family did the every variety of youthful society wherewith greatest honor to his benevolent discrimina- to mingle. tion. His lordship extended his good-will to Rawdon Crawley, though the only book little Rawdon: he pointed out to the boy's which he studied was the Racing Calendar, parents the necessity of sending him to a and though his chief recollections of polite public school; that he was of an age now learning were connected with the floggings when emulation, the first principles of the which he received at Eton in his early youth, Latin language, pugilistic exercises, and the had that decent and honest reverence for society of his fellow boys would be of the classical learning which all English gentlegreatest benefit to the boy. His father ob- men feel, and was glad to think that his son jected that he was not rich enough to send was to have a provision for life, perhaps, and the child to a good public school; his no- a certain opportunity of becoming a scholar. ther, that Briggs was a capital mistress for And although his boy was his chief solace him, and had brought him on (as indeed and companion, and endeared to him by a was the fact) famously in English, the Latin thousand small ties, about which he did not rudiments, and in general learning: but all care to speak to his wife, who had all along these objections disappeared before the gen- shown the utmost indifference to their son, erous perseverence of the Marquis of yet Rawdon agreed at once to part with him, Steyne. His lordship was one of the go- and to give up his own greatest comfort and vernors of that famous old collegiate institu- benefit for the sake of the welfare of the tion called the Whitefiiars. It had been a little lad. He did not know how fond he Cistercian Convent in old days, when the was of the child until it became necessary to Smithfield, which is contiguous to it, was a let him go away. When he was gone, he tournament gronnd. Obstinate heretics used felt more sad and downcast than he cared to to be brought thither convenient for burning own-far sadder than the boy himself, who hard by. Harry VIII., the defender of the was happy enough to enter a new career, Faith, seized upon the monastery and its and find companions of his own age. Becky possessions, and hanged and tortured some burst out laughing once or twice when the of the monks who could not accommodate colonel, in his clumsy, incoherent way, tried themselves to the pace of his reform. Fi- to express his sentimental sorrows at the nally, a great merchant bought the house boy's departure. The poor fellow felt that and land adjoining, in which, and with the his dearest pleasure and closest fiiend was help of other wealthy endowments of land taken from him. He looked often and wistand'toney, ha established a famous founda- fully at the little vacant bed in his dressingtion hospital for did men and children. An room, where the child used to sleep. He extern school grew round the old almost missed him sadly of mornings, and tried in monastic foundation, which subsists still with vain to walk in the park without him. He its middle age costume and usages: and all did not knew how solitary he was until little Cistercians pray that it may long flourish. Rawdon was gone. He liked the people Of this famous house, some of the great- who were fond of him; and would go and sit est noblemen, prelates, and dignitaries in for long hours with his good-natured sister, Ehgland are governors: and as the boys are Lady Jane, and talk to her about the virtues, very comfortably lodged, fed, and educated: and good looks, and hundred good qualities and subsequently inducted to good scholar- of the child. ships at the University and livings in the Young Rawdon's aunt, we have said, was Church, nma.ny little gentlemen are devoted very fond of him, as was her little girl, who to the ecclesiastical profession from their wept copiously when the time for her coutenderest years, and there is considerable sin's departure came. The elder Rawdon emulation to procure nominations for the was thankful for the fondness of mother and foundativtns. It was originally intended for daughter. The very best and honestest hae sons of poor and deserving clerics and feelings of the man came'out in these artless A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 251 outpourings of paternal feeling in which he had constituted little Rawdon his fag, shoeindulged in their presence, and encouraged black, and breakfast toaster; initiated him by their sympathy. He secured not only int the mysteries of the Latin grammar, Lady Jane's kindn ess, but her sincere regard, and thrashed him three or four times; but by the feelings which he manifested, and not severely. The little chap's good-natured which he could not show to his own wife. honest face won his way for him. He only The two kinswomen met as seldom as pos- got that degree of beating Which was, no sible. Becky laughed bitterly at Jane's doubt, good for him; and as for blacking feelings and softness; the other's kindly and shoes, toasting bread, and fagging in general, gentle nature could not but revolt at her sis- were these offices not deemed to be necester's callous behavior. sary parts of every young English gentleIt estranged Rawdon from his wife more man's education? than he knew or acknowledged to himself. Our business does not lie with the second She did not care for the estrangement. In- generation, and Master Rawdon's life at deed, she did not miss him or any body. She school, otherwise the present tale might be looked upon him as her errand-man and carried to any indefinite length. The colohumble slave. He might be ever so de- nel went to see his son a short time afterpressed or sulky, and she did not mark his ward, and found the lad sufficiently well and demeanor, or only treated it with a sneer. happy, grinning and laughing in his little black She was busy thinking about her position or gown and little breeches. her pleasures or her advancement in society; His father sagaciously tipped Blackball, she ought to have held a great place in it, his master, a sovereign, and secured that that is certain. young gentleman's good will toward his fag. It was honest Briggs who made up the As a 2rotege of the great Lord Steyne, the little kit for the boy which he was to take to nephew of a county member, and son of a school. Molly, the housemaid, blubbered in colonel and C. B., whose name appeared in the passage when he went away-Molly, some of the most fashionable parties in the kind and faithful in spite of a long arrear of Morning Post, perhaps the school authoriunpaid wages. Mrs. Becky could not let ties were disposed notto look unkindly on the her husband have the carriage to take the child. He had plenty of packet-money, boy to school. Take the horses into the which he spent in treating his comrades roycity! such a thing was never heard of. Let ally to raspberry tarts, and he was often ala cab be brought. She did not offer to kiss lowed to come home on Saturdays to his fahim when he went; nor did the child pro- ther, who always made a jubilee of that day. pose to embrace her; but gave a kiss to old When fiee, Rawdon would take him to the Briggs (whom, in general, he was very shy play, or send him thither with the footman; of caressing), and consoled her by pointing and on Sundays he went to church with out that he was to come home on Saturdays, Briggs and Lady Jane and his cousins. Rawwhen she would have the benefit of seeing don marveled over his stories about school, him. As the cab rolled toward the city, and fights, and fagging. Before long, he Becky's carriage rattled off to the park. She knew the names of all the masters and the was chattering and laughing with a score of principal boys as well as little Rawdon himyoung dandies by the Serpentine, as the self. He invited little Rawdon's crony firom father and son entered at the old gates of the school, and made both the children sick with school-where Rawdon left the child, and pastry, and oysters, and porter after the play. -came away with a sadder, purer feeling in Hie tried to look knowing over the Latin his heart than perhaps that poor battered grammar when little Rawdon showed him fellow had ever known since he himself came what part of that work he was " in." " Stick out of the nursery. to it, my boy," he said to him with much He walked all the way home very dismal- gravity, "there's nothing like a good classily, and dined alone with Briggs.' He was cal education! nothing!" very kind to her, and grateful for her love Becky's contempt for her husband grew and watchfulness over the boy. His con- greater every day — Do what you likescience smote him that he had borrowed dine where you please-go and have gingerBrigg's money and aided in deceiving her. beer and saw-dust at Astley's, or psakn-singThey talked about little Rawdon a long time, ing with Lady Jane-only don't expect me or Becky only came home to dress and go to busy myself with the boy. I have your ~ut to dinner. And then he went off uneas- interests to attend to, as you can't attend to ly to drink tea with Lady Jane, and tell her them yourself. I should like to know where of what had happened, and how little Raw- you would have been now, and in what sort don went off like atrump, and how he was to of a position in society, if I had not looked wear a gown and little knee breeches, and after you?" Indeed, nobody wanted poor how young Blackball, Jack Blackball's son, old Rawdon at the parties whither Becky of the old regiment, had taken him in used to go. She was often asked without charge and promised to be kind to him. him now. She talked about great people as In the course of a week, young Blackball if she had the fee-sinple, of May F:i.; "and 252 VANITY FAIR. when the court went into mourning, she al- position was —how Miss Crawley had left ways wore black. her a legacy —how her relatives had had part of it-how Colonel Crawley had put Little Rawdon being disposed of, Lord out another portion, for which she. had the Steyne, who took such a parental interest in best security and interest-and how Mr. and the affairs of this amiable poor family, thought Mrs. Rawdon had kindly busied themselves that their expenses might be very advantage- with Sir Pitt, who was to dispose of the reously curtailed by the departure of Miss mIainder most advantageously for her, when Briggs; and that Becky was quite clever he had time. My lord asked how much the enough to take the management of her own colonel had already invested for her, and house. It has been narrated in a former Miss Briggs at once and truly told him that chapter, how the benevolent nobleman had the sum was six hundred and odd pounds. given his protege money to pay off her little But as soon as she had told her story, the debt to Miss Briggs, who however still re- voluble Briggs repented of her fiankness, and mained behind with her friends: whence my besought my lord not to tell Mr. Crawley of lord came to the painful conclusion that Mrs. the confessions which she had made. "I The Crawley had made some other use of the colonel was so kind-Mr. Crawley might be money confided to her than that for which offended and pay back the money, for which her generous patron had given the loan. she could get no such good interest anywhere However, Lord Steyne was not so rude as else." Lord Steyne, laughing, promised he to impart his suspicions upon this head to never would divulge their conversation, and Mrs. Becky, whose feelings might be hurt when he and Miss Briggs parted he laughed by any controversy on the money-question, still more. and who might have a thousand painful rea- "W hat an accomplished little devil it is!" sons for disposing otherwise of his lordship's thought he. (' What a splendid actress and generous loan. But he determined to sat- manager! She had almost got a second isfy himself of the real state of the case: supply out of me the other day, with her and instituted the necessary inquiries in a coaxing ways. She beats all the women I most cautious and delicate manner. have ever seen in the course of all mny wellIn the first place, he took an early oppor- spent life. They are babies compared to tunity of pumping Miss Briggs. That was her. I am a greenhorn myself, and a fool not a difficult operation. A very little en- in her hands-an old fool. She is unsurcouragement would set that worthy woman passable in lies." His lo-rdships admiration to talk volubly, and pour out all within her. for Becky rose ilnmeasurably at this proof And one day when Mrs. Rawdon had gone of her cleverness. Getting the money was out to drive (as Mr. Fiche, his lordship's not1hing-but getting double the sum she confidential servant, easily learned at the wanted, and paying nobody-it was a maglivery stables where the Crawleys kept their nificent stroke. And Crawley; mny lord carriage and horses, or rather, where the thought —" Crawley is not such a fool as he livery-man kept a carriage and horses for looks and seems. He has managed the Mr. and Mrs. Crawley) —my lord dropped matter cleverly enough on his side. Nobody in upon the Curzon-street house-asked would ever have supposed from his face and Briggs for a cup of coffee-told her that he demeanor that he knew any thing about this had good accounts of the little boy at school money business; and yet he put her up to -and in five minutes found out from her that it, and has spent the money, no doubt." In Mrs. Rawdon had given her nothing except this opinion my lord, we know, was misa black silk gown, for which Miss Briggs taken; but it influenced a good deal his bewas immensely grateful. havior toward Colonel Crawley, whom he He laughed within himself at this artless began to treat with even less than that semstory. For the truth is, ou-r dear firiend blance of respect which he had formerly Rebecca had given him a most circumstantial shown toward that gentleman. It never narration of Briggs's delight at receiving her entered into the head of Mrs. Crawley's money-eleven hundred and twenty-five patron that the little lady might be making a pounds-and in what securities she had in- purse for herself; and, perhaps, if the truth vested it: and what a pang Becky herself must be told, he judged of Colonel Crawley felt in being obliged to pay away such a de- by his experience of other husbands, whom lightful sum of money. "Who knows," the he had known in the course of the long and dear woman may have thought within her- well-spent life, which had made him acself, "perhaps he may give me a little quainted with a great deal of the weakness more?" My lord however, made no such of mankind. My lord had bought so many proposal to the little schemer-very likely men during his life, that he was surely to thinking that he been sufficiently generous be pardoned for supposing that he had found already. the price of this one. lie had the curiosity, then, to ask Miss He taxed Becky upon the point, on the Briggs about the state of her private affairs, very first occasion when he met her alone, and she told his lordship candidly what her and he complimented her, good-humoredlv A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 253 on her cleverness in getting more than the not to be hers yet; but she might go down money which she required. Becky was only on a visit to Mrs. Pilkington, and see whether a little taken aback. It was not the habit of she would like to succeed her. this dear creature to tell falsehoods, except What words can paint the ecstatic gratitude when necessity compelled, but in these of Briggs! All she stipulated for was thai great emergencies it was her practice to lie little Rawdon should be allowed to come very freely; and in an instant she was ready down and see her at the Hall. Becky with another neat, plausible circumstantial promised this-any thing. She ran up to story which she administered to her patron. her husband when he came home, and told The previous statement which she had made him the joyful news. Rawdon was glad, to him was a falsehood-a wicked falsehood: deuced glad; the weight was off his conshe owned it; but who had made her tell it? science about poor Briggs's money. She "Ah, my lord," she said, "you don't know was provided for, at any rate, but-but his all I have to suffer and bear in silence: you mind was disquieted. He did not seeni to see me gay and happy before you-you little i be all right somehow. He told little Southknow what I have to endure when there I down what Lord Steyne had done, and the is no protector near me. It was my bus- young man eyed Crawley with an air which band, by threats and the most savage treat- surprised the latter, ment, forced me to ask for that sum about He told Lady Jane of this second proof which I deceived you. It was he who, of Lord Steyne's bounty, and she, too, foreseeing that questions might be asked looked odd and alarmed; so did Sil Pitt. regarding the disposal of the money, forced " She is too clever and- and gay to. be me to account for it as I did. EIe took the allowed to go firom party to party without a money. He told me he had paid Miss companion," both said. " You must go with Briggs; I did not want, I did not dare to her, Rawdon, wherever she goes, and you doubt him. Pardon the wrong which a must have somebody with her-one of the desperate man is forced to commit, and pity girls from Queen's Crawley, perhaps, though a miserable, miserable woman." She burist they are rather giddy guardians for her." into tears as she spoke. Persecuted virtue Somebody Becky should have. But in never looked more bewitchingly wretched. the mean while it was clear that honest They had a long conversation,: driving Briggs must not lose her chance of settleround and round the Regent's Park in Mrs. ment for life; and so she and her bags were Crawley's carriage together, a conversation packed, and she set off on her journey. And of which it is not necessary to repeat the so two of Rawdon's out-sentinels were in details: but the upshot of it was that, when the hands of the enemy. Becky came home, she flew to her dear Sir Pitt went and expostulated with his Briggs with a smiling face, and announced sister-in-law upon the subject of the disihisthat she had some very good news for her. sal of Briggs, and other matters of delicate Lord Steyne had acted in the noblest and family interest. In vain she pointed out to most generous manner. He was always him how necessary was the protection of thinking how and when he could do good. Lord Steyne for her poor husband; how Now that little Rawdon was gone to school, cruel it would be on their part to deprive a dear companion and fiiend was no longer Briggs of the position offered to her. Cajole necessary to her. She was grieved beyond ments, coaxings, smiles, tears, could not sat measure to part with Briggs; but her means isfy Sir Pitt, and he had something very like required that she should pr'actice every re- a quarrel with his once admiiled Becky. He trenchment, and her sorrow was mitigated spoke of the honor of the family; the unby the idea that her dear Briggs would be sullied reputation of the Crawleys; exfar better provided for by her generous pressed himself in indignant tones about her patron than in her humble home. Mrs. receiving those young Frenchmen-those Pilkington, the housekeeper at Gauntly wild young men of fashion, my Lord Steyne Hall, was growing exceedingly old, feeble, himself, whose carriage was always at her and rheumatic; she was not equal to the door, who passed hours daily in her company, work of superintending that vast mansion, and whose constant presence made the world and must be on the look-out for a successor. talk about her. As the head of the house It was a splendid position. The family did he implored her to be more prudent. Society not go to Gauntly once in two years. At was already speaking lightly of her. Lord other times the housekeeper was the mis- Steyne, though a nobleman of the greatest tress of the magnificent mansion; had four station and talents. was a man whose attencovers daily for her table; was visited by tions would compromise any woman; he the clergy and the most respectable people besought, he implored, he commanded his of the county-was the lady of Gauntly, in sister-in-law to be watchful in her interfact; and the two last housekeepers before! course with that nobleman. Mrs. Pilkington had married rectors of | Becky promised any thing and every thing Gauntly: but Mrs. P. -could not, being the Pitt wanted; but Lord Steyne came to her aunt of the present rector. The place was house as often a. ever,.and Sir Pitt's anger 254 VANITY FAIR. increased. I wonder was Lady Jane angry like the boy! Rawdon thought. But the or pleased that her husband at last found mother and son never could be brought to. Cault with his favorite Rebecca? Lord gether. Steyne's visits continuing, his own ceased; And it was while Rawdon's mind was and his wife was for refusing all further in- agitated with these doubts and perplexities tercourse with that nobleman, and declining that the incident occurred which Was menthe invitation to the charade-night which tioned in the last chapter; and the unfortuthe marchioness sent to her; but Sir Pitt nate colonel found himself a prisoner, away thought it was necessary to accept it, as his fiom home. royal highness would be there. Although he went to the party in question, Sir Pitt quitted it very early, and his wife, too, was very glad to come away. CHAPTER LIII. Becky hardly so much as spoke to him or noticed her sister-in-law. Pitt Crawley de- A RESCUE AND A CATASTROPHE. clared her behavior was monstrously inde- FRIEND RAWDON drove on then to 31r. corous, reprobated in strong terms the habit Moss's mansion in Cursitor-street, and was of play-acting and fancy dressing, as highly duly inducted into that dismal place of hosunbecoming a British female; and after the pitality. Morning. was breaking over the charades were over, took his brother Rawdon cheerful house-tops of Chancery-lane as the severely to task for appearing himself, and rattling cab woke up the echoes there, and allowing his wife to join in such improper a little pink-eyed Jew-boy with a head as exhibitions. ruddy as the rising morn, let the party into Rawdon said she should not join in any the house, and Rawdon was welcomed to more such amusements, but, indeed, and the ground-floor apartments by Mr. Moss, perhaps from hints fiom his elder brother his traveling companion and host, who cheerand sister, he had already become a very fully asked him if he would like a glass of watchful and exemplary domestic character. something warm after his drive. He left off his clubs and billiards. He never The colonel was not so depressed as some left home. He took Becky out to drive; mortals would be, who, quitting a palace and he went laboriously with her to all her par- a placens uxor, find themselves barred into a ties. Whenever my Lord Steyne called, spunging-house, for, if the truth must be he was sure to find the colonel. And when told, he had been a lodger at Mr. Moss's Becky proposed to go out without her hus- establishment once or twice before. We band, or received invitations for herself, he have not thought it necessary in the previous pereml)torily ordered her to refuse them; course of this narrative to mention these and there was that in the gentleman's man- trivial little domestic incidents; but the readnerwhich enforced obedience. LittleBecky, er may be assured that they can't unfreto do her justice, was charmed with Raw- quently occur in the life of a man who lives don's gallantry. If he was surly, she never on nothing a year. was. -Whether friends were present or ab- Upon his first visit to Mr. Moss, the colosent, she had always a kind smile for him, nel, then a bachelor, had been liberated by and was attentive to his pleasure and com- the generosity of his aunt; on the. second fort. It was the early days of their mar- mishap, little Becky, with the greatest spirit riage over again: the same good humor, and kindness, had borrowed a sum of money prfvenances, merriment, and artless confi- from Lord Southdown, and had coaxed her dence and regard. " How much pleasanter husband's creditor (who was her shawl, velit is," she would say, " to have you by my vet-gown, lace pocket-handkerchief, trinket, side in the carriage than that foolish old and gim-crack purveyor, indeed) to take a Briggs! Let us always go on so, dear Raw- portion of the sumn claimed, and Rawdon's don. How nice it would be, and how happy promissory note for the remainder: so on we should always be, if we had but the both these occasions the capture and release money!" He fell asleep after dinner in his had been conducted with the utmost gallanchair; he did not see the face opposite to try on all sides, and Moss and the colonel him, haggard, weary, and terrible; it lighted were, therefore, on the very best of terms. up with fresh candid smiles when he woke. "You'll find youre old bed, colonel, and It kissed him gayly. He wondered that he every thing comfortable," that gentleman had ever had suspicions. No, he never had said, " as I may honestly say. You may suspicion; all those dumb doubts and surly be pretty sure its kep aired, and by the misgivings which had been gathering on his best of company, too. It was slep in the mind were mere idle jealousies. She was night afore last by the Honorable Capting fond of him; she always had been. As for Famish, of the Fiftieth Dragoons, whose her shining in society it was no fault of mar took him out, after a fortnight, jest to hers; she was formed to shine there. Was punish him, she said. But, law bless you, 1 there any woman who could talk, or sing, promise you, he punished my champagne, ora do any thing like her? If she would but and had a party'ere every night-reglar A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 255 fip-top swells, down from the clubs and the ried lines of entreaty, and paced up and West End-Capting Ragg, the Honorable down that awful room until his messenger Deuceace, who lives in the Temple, and brought back the reply. Poor men always some fellers as knows a good glass of wine, use messengers instead of the post. Who I warrant you. I've got a doctor of diwinity has not had their letters, with the wafers up stairs, five gents in the coffee-room, and wet, and the announcement that a person is Mrs. Moss has a tably-de-hoty at half-past waiting in the hall? five, and a little cards or music afterward, Now on the score of his application, Raw when we shall be most happy to'see you." don had not many misgivings. " Dear " I'll ring, when I want any thing," said Becky," Rawdon wrote, "I hope you slept Rawdon, and went quietly to his bed-room. well. Don't be frightened if I don't bring Hie was an old soldier, we have, said, and you in your coffy. Last nigh't as I was not to be disturbed by any little shocks of coming home smoking, I met with an acca fate. A weaker man would have sent off a dent. I was nabbed by Moss of Cursitor letter to his wife on the instant of his cap- street-from whose gilt and splpendid parler ture. " But what is the use of disturbing I write'this-the same that had me this time her night's rest?" thought Rawdon. "' She two years. Miss Moss brought in my teawon't know whether I am in my room or she is grown very fat, and as usual, had her not. It will be time enough to write to her stockens down at heal. when she has had her sleep out, and I have "'It's Nathan's business - a hundred had mine. It's only a hundred and seventy, and-fifty-with costs, hundred-and-seventy. and the deuce rs in it if we can't raise that." Please send me my desk and some clothsAnd so, thinking about little Rawdon (whom I'm in pumps and a white tye (something he would not like to know that he was in like Miss M.'s stockings) I've seventy in,it. such a queer place), the colonel turned in- And as soon as you get this, drive to Nato the bed]lately occupied by Captain Fam- than's-offer him seventy-five down, and ish, and fell asleep. It was ten o'clock ask him to renew-say I'll take wine-we when he woke up, and the ruddy-headed may as well have some dinner sherry; but youth brought him, with conscious pride, a notpicturs, they'r too dear. fine silver dressing-case, wherewith he might " If he won't stand it, take my ticker and perform the operation of shaving. Indeed, such of your things as you can spare, and Mr. Moss's house, though somewhat dirty, send them to Balls-we must, of course, was splendid throughout. There were dirty have the sum to-night. It won't do to let it trays, and'wine coolers en permanence on stand over, as to-rmorrow's Sunday; the beds the side-board, huge dirty gilt cornices, with here are not very clean, and there may be dingy yellow satin hangings to the barred other things out against me-I'm glad it ain't windows which looked into Cursitor-street Rawdon's Saturday for coming home. God -vast and dirty gilt picture-firames sur- bless you. rounding pieces, sporting and sacred, all of "Yours in haste, R. C which works were by the greatest masters; "P.S. Make haste and come." and fetched the greatest prices, too, in the bill transactions, in the course of which they This letter, sealed with a wafer, was dis were sold and bought over and over again. patched by one of the messengers who art The colonel's breakfast was served to him always hanging about Mr. Moss's establishin the same dingy and gorgeous plated ware. ment; and Rawdon, having seen hinl depart, Miss Moss, a dark-eyed maid in curl papers, went out in the courtyard and smoked his appeared with the tea-pot, and, smiling, cigar with a tolerably easy mind-in spite of asked the colonel how he had slept? and the bars over head; for Mr. Moss's courtyard she brought him in the Morning Post, with is railed in like a cage, lest the gentlemen the names of all the great people'who had who are boarding with him should take a figured at Lord Steyne's entertainment the fancy to escape from his hospitality. night before. It contained a brilliant ac- Three hours, he calculated, would be the count of the festivities, and of the beautiful utmost time required, before Becky should and accomplished Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's arrive and open his prison doors: and he admirable personifications. passed these pretty cheerfully in smoking, After a lively chat with this lady (who in reading the paper, and in the coffee-room sate on the edge of the breakfast table in an with an acquaintance, Captain Walker, who easy attitude, displaying the drapery of her happened to be there, and with whom lie stocking and an ex-white satin shoe, which cut for sixpences for some hours, with pretty was down at heel), Colonel Crawley called equal luck on either side. for pens and ink, and paper; and being But the day passed away and no messenasked how many sheets, chose.one, which ger returned, no Becky. Mr. Moss's tablywas brought to him between Miss Moss's de-hoty was served at the appointed hour of own finger and thumb. Many a sheet had half-past five, when such of the gentlemen that dark-eyed damsel brought in; many a lodging in the house as could afford to pay poor fellow had scrawled and blotted hur- for the banquet, came and partook of it in 256 VANITY FAIR. the splendid front parlor before described, him to give me two hundred pounds. TOe and with which Mr. Crawley's temporary pish'd and psha'd in a fury-told me not to lodging communicated, when Miss M. (Miss be such a fool as to pawn —and said he Hem, as her papa called her) appeared with- would see whether he could lend me the out the curl-papers of the morning, and Mrs. money. At last he went away, promising Hem did the honors of a prime boiled leg of that he would send it me in the morning mutton and turnips, of which the colonel ate when I will bring it to my poor old monstre with a very faint appetite. Asked whether with a kiss from his affectionate he would "' stand " a bottle of champagne for c; Bi:CIIY. the company, he consented, and the ladies "I am writing in bed. Oh, I have such drank to his'ealth, and Mr. Moss, in the a headache and such a heartache!" most polite'manner " looked toward him." In the midst of this repast however, the'When Rawdon read over this letter, he door-bell was heard-young Moss of the turned so red and looked so savage, that ruddy hair, rose up with the keys and an- the company at the table d'hote easily perswered the summons, and coming back, told ceived that bad news had reached him. All the colonel"that the messenger had returned his suspicions, which he had been trying to with a bag, a desk and a letter, which he banish, returned upon him. She could not gave him. " No ceremony, colonel, I beg," even go out and sell her trinkets to free him. said Mrs. Moss with a wave of her hand, She could laugh and talk about compliments and he opened the letter rather tremulously. paid to her, while he was in prison. Who It was a beautiful letter, highly scented, on had put him there? Wenham had walked a pink paper, and with a light green seal. with him.'Was there...... He could hardly bear to think of what he suspected. " Mon pauvre cher petit" (Mrs. Crawley Leaving the room hurriedly, he ran into his wrote). "I could not sleep one wink for own-opened his desk, wrote t~wo hurried thinking of what had become of my odious lines, which he directed to Sir Pitt or Lady old monstre: and only got to rest in the Crawley, and bade the messenger carry morning after sending for Mr. Blench (for I them at once to Gaunt-street, bidding him was in a fever), who gave me a composing to take a cab, and promising him a guinea if draught and left orders with Finette that I he.was back in an hour. should be disturbed on no account. So that In the note he besought his dear brother my poor old man's messenger, who had bein and sister, for the sake of God; for the sake mauvaise mine, Finette says, and sentoit le of his dear child and his honor, to come to Geniev}re, remained in the hall for some hours him and relieve him firom his difficulty. He waiting my bell. You may fancy my state was in prison: he wanted a hundred pounds when I read your poor, dear, old ill-spelled to set him free —he entreated them to come letter. to him. "Ill as I was, T instantly called for the He went back to the dining-room after carriage, and as soon as I was dressed dispatching his messenger, and called for (though I couldn't drink a drop of chocolate more wine. He laughed and talked with a -I assure you I couldn't without my monstre strange boisterousness, as the people thought. to bring it to me), I drove ventre a terre to Sometimes he laughed madly at his own Nathan's. I saw him-I wept-I cried-I fears, and went on drinking for an hour; fell at his odious knees. Nothing would listening all the while for the carriage which mollify the horrid man. He would have all was to bring his fate back. the money, he said, or keep my poor mon- At the expiration of that time, wheels stre in prison. I drove home with the in- were heard whirling up to the gate-the tention of paying that triste visite chez mon young janitor went out with his gate-keys. oncle (when every trinket I have should be It was a lady whom he let in at the bailiff's at your disposal though they would not fetch door. a hundred pounds, for some, you know, are "Colonel Crawley," she said, trembling with ce cher oncle already, and found Milor very nmuch. He, with a knowing look, lockthere with the Bulgarian old sheep-faced ed the' outer door upon her-then unlocked monster, who had come to compliment me and opened the inner one, and calling out, upon last night's performances. Padding- " Colonel you're wanted," led her into the ton came in, too, drawling and lisping and back parlor, which he occupied. twiddling his hair; so did Champignac, and Rawdon came in from the dining-parlor his chef-every body withffoison of compli- where all those people were carousing, into ments and pretty speeches-plaguing poor his back room; a flare of coarse light followme, who longed to be rid of them, and was ing him into the apartment where the lady thinking every moment of the time of mon stood, still very nervous. pauvre prisonnier. "It is 1, Rawdon," she said, in a timid "When they were gone, I went down on voice, which she strove to render cheerful. my knees to Milor; told him we were going'" It is Jane." Rawdon was quite overcome to pawn every thing, and begged and prayed by that kind voice and presence. He ran A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 257 ip to her —caught her in his arms-gasped white face. At the next instant she tried out some inarticulate words of thanks, and a smile, a horrid smile, as if to welcome fairly sobbed on her shoulder. She did not her husband; and Steyne rose up, grinding know the cause of his emotion. his teeth, pale, and with fury in his looks. The bills of Mr. Moss were quickly set- He, too, attempted a laugh-and came tiled, perhaps to the disappointment of that forward holding out his hand. "What, gentleman, who had counted on having the come back! How d'ye do, Crawley?" he colonel as his guest over Sunday at least; said, the nerves of his mouth twitching as and Jane, with beaming smiles and happiness he tried to grin at the intruder. in her eyes, carried away Rawdon from the There was that in Rawdon's face which bailiff's house, and they went homeward in caused Becky to fling herself before him the cab in which she had hastened to his "I am innocent, Rawdon," she said: "berelease. "Pitt was gone to a parliamentary fore God, I am innocent." She clung hold dinner," she said, "when Rawdon's note of his coat, of his hands; her own were all came, and so, dear Rawdon, I-I came my- covered with serpents, and rings, and baubles. self;" and she put her kind hand in his. "I am innocent. Say I am innocent," she Perhaps it was well for Rawdon Crawley said to Lord Steyne. that Pitt was away at that dinner. Raw- He thought a trap had been laid for him, don thanked his sister a hundred times, and and was as furious with the wife as with the with an ardor of gratitude which touched husband. "You innocent! Damn you," and almost alarmed that soft-hearted wom- he screamed, out. " You innocent! Why an. " Oh," said he, in his rude, artless way, every trinket you have on your body is paid "you-you don't know how I'm changed for by me. I have given you thousands of since I've known you, and-and little Raw- pounds which this fellow has spent, and for dy. I-I'd like to change somehow. You which he has sold you. Innocent, by -! see I want —I want-to be-" He did not You're as innocent as your mother, the balfinish the sentence, but she could interpret let-girl, and your husband the bully. Don't it. And that night after he left her, and think to frighten me as you have done as she sate by her own little boy's bed, she others. Make way, sir, and let me pass;" prayed humbly for that poor wayworn sin- and Lord Steyne seized up his hat, and, ner. with flame in his eyes, and looking his enemy fiercely in the face, marched upon him, Rawdon left her and walked home rapid- never for a moment doubting that the other ly. It was nine o'clock at night. He ran would give way. across the streets, and the great squares of But Rawdon Crawley springing out seized Vanity Fair, and at length came up breath- him by the neck-cloth, until Steyne, almost less opposite his own house. He started strangled, writhed and bent under his arm. back and fell against the railings, trembling "You lie, you dog!" said Rawdon. "You as he looked up. The drawing-room win- lie, you coward and villain!" And he struck dows were blazing with light. She had said the peer twice over the face with his open that she was in bed and ill. He stood there hand, and flung him bleeding to the ground. for some time, the light from the rooms on It was all done before Rebecca could interhis pale face. pose. She stood there trembling before He took out his door-key and let himself him. She admired her husband, strong, into the house. He could hear laughter in brave, and victorious. the upper rooms. He was in the ball-dress "Come here," he said. She came up at in which he had been captured the night be- once. fore. He went silently up the stairs; lean- 1"Take off those things." She began, ing against the bannisters at the stair-head. trembling, pulling the jewels from her arms, Nobody was stirring in the house besides- and the rings from her shaking fingers, and all the servants had been sent away. Raw- held them all in a heap, quivering and lookdon heard laughter within —laughter and ing up at him. " Throw them down," he singing. Becky was singing a snatch of the said, and she dropped them. He tore the song of the night before; ahoarse voice shout- diamond ornamentout of her breast, and flung ed "Brava, Brava;" it was Lord Steyne's. it at Lord Steyne. It cut him on his bald Rawdon opened the door and went in. A forehead. Steyne wore the scar to his dying little table with a dinner was laid out-and day. wine and plate. Steyne was hanging over "Come up stairs," Rawdon said to hig the sofa on which Becky sate. The wretch- wife. "Don't kill me, Rawdon," she said. ed woman was in a brilliant full toilet, her He laughed savagely. "I want to see if armns and all her fingers sparkling with brace- that man lies about the money, as he has lets and rings; and the brilliants on her about me. Has he given you any?" breast which Steyne had given her. He "No," said Rebecca, "that is-" had her hand in his, and was bowing over "Give me the keys," Rawdon answered, it to kiss it, when Becky started up with a and they went out together. faint scream as she caught sight of Rawdon's Rebecca gave him all the keys but oao' 258 VANITY FAIR. and she wasin hopes that he would not have her mistress to lie down on the bed remarked the absence of that. It belonged Then she went below and gathered up the to the little desk which Amelia had given her trinkets which had been lying on the floor in early days, and which she kept in a secret since Rebecca dropped them there at her place. But Rawdon flung open boxes and husband's orders, and Lord Steyne went wardrobes, throwing the multifarious trump- away. ery of their contents here and there, and at last he found the desk. The woman was forced to open it. It contained papers, loveletters many years old-all sorts of small CHAPTER LIV. trinkets and woman's memoranda. And it contained a pocket-book with bank notes. SUNDAY AFTER THE BATTLE. Some of these were dated ten years back, THE mansion of Sir Pitt Crawley ir too, and one was quite a fresh one-a note Great Gaunt-street, was just beginning to for a thousand pounds which Lord Steyne dress itself for the day, as Rawdon, in his had given her. evening costume, which he had now worn "Did he give you this?" Rawdon said. two days, passed by the scared female who "Yes;" Rebecca answered. was scouring the steps, and entered into his "I'll send it to him to-day," Rawdon said brother's study. Lady J'ane, in her morn(for day had dawned again, and many hours ing-gown, was up and above. stairs in the had passed in this search), "and I will pay nursery, superintending the toilets of her Briggs, who was kind to the boy, and some children, and listening to the morning prayers of the debts. You will let me know where which the little creatures performed at her I shall send the rest to you. You might knee. Every morning she and they perhave spared me a hundred pounds, Becky, formed this duty privately, and before the out of all this-I have always shared with public ceremonial at which Sir Pitt preyou." sided, and at which all the people of the "I am innocent," said Becky. And he household were expected to assemble. left her without another word. Rawdon sate down in the study before the baronet's table, set out with the orderly blue What were her thoughts when he left books and the letters, the neatly docketed her? She remained for hours after he was bills and symmetrical pamphlets; the locked gone, the sunshine pouring into the room, account-books, desks, and dispatch boxes, and Rebecca sitting alone on the bed's edge. the Bible, the Quarterly Review and the The drawers were all opened and their Court Guide, which all stood as if on parade contents scattered about-dresses and feath- awaiting the inspection of their chief. ers, scarfs and trinkets, a heap of tumbled A book of family sermons, one of which vanities lying in a wreck. Her hair was fall- Sir Pitt was in the habit of administering to ing over her shoulders; her gown was torn his family on Sunday mornings, lay ready where Rawdon had wrenched the brilliants on the study table, and awaiting his judioutofit. She heard him go down stairs afew cious selection. And by the sermon-book minutes after he left her, and the door slain- was the Observer newspaper, damp and ming and closing on him. -She knew he neatly folded, and for Sir Pitt's own private would never come back. He was gone for- use. His gentleman alone took the opporever. Would he kill himself? she thought tunity of perusing the newspaper before he -not until after he had met Lord Steyne. laid it by his master's desk. Before he had She thought of her long past life, and all the brought it into the study that morning, he dismal incidents of it. Ah, how dreary it hgd read in the journal a flaming account of seemed, how miserable, lonely and profitless! "Festivities at Gaunt House," with the Should she take laudanum, and end it, too- names of all the distinguished personages have done with all hopes, schemes, debts, invited by the Marquis of Steyne to meet and triumphs? The French maid found his Royal Highness. Having read comher in this position —sitting in the midst of ments upon this entertainment to the househer miserable ruins with clasped hands and keeper and her niece as they were taking dry eyes. The woman was her accomplice early tea and hot-buttered toast in the former and in Steyne's pay. "Mon Dieu, madame, lady's apartment, and wondered how the what has happened?" she asked. Rawding Crawleys could git on, the valet What had happened? Was she guilty had damped and folded the paper once more, or not? She said not; but who could tell so that it looked quite fresh and innocent what was truth which came from those lips; against the arrival of the master of the house. or if that corrupt heart was in this case Poor Rawdon took up the paper and began pure? All her lies and her schemes, all her to try and read it until his brother should selfishness and her wiles, all her wit and arrive. But the print fell blank upon his genius had come to this bankruptcy. The eyes; and he did not know in the least woman closed the curtains, and with some what he was reading. The Government entreaty and show of kindness, persuaded news and appointments (which Sir Pitt as -- f =' I' i; l,1 ~''' 1I' i',..............,!o:d.! 1,:/!! i - jtll-liI? l'r'; lI'!/i W,,? _,,!,r i.. i I.! l li l I i i il l, " -'i: ( (_g~~~~~~~~~~~L'I - -._ -lii _ _ i _ __ i _ SIR PITT'S ST1:JDi CEqA l R. (r s259. 8 Ill~~ ~~~1lii'ii i~ STR PITT'S S~TUDY' C]R ]lR. (p.25.9.) A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 259 public man was bound to peruse, otherwise "What is the matter, then?" said Pitt, he would by no means permit the introduc- somewhat relieved. tion of! Sunday papers into his household), "It's the boy," said Rawdon, in a husky the theatrical criticisms, the fight for a hun- voice. " I want you to promise me that you dred pounds a side between the Barking will take charge of him when I'm gone. Butcher and the Tutbury Pet, the Gaunt That dear good wife of yours has always House chronicle itself, which contained a been good to him; and he's fonder of her most complimentary though guarded account than he is of his...-Damn it. Look here, of the famous charades of which Mrs. Becky Pitt —you know that I was to have had Miss had been the heorine-all these passed as in Crawley's money. I wasn't brought up like a haze before Rawdon, as he sat waiting a younger brother; but was always encourthe arrival of the chief of the family. aged to be extravagant and kept idle. But Punctually, as the shrill-toned bell of the for this I might have been quite a different black marble study clock began to chime man.. I didn't do my duty with the regiment nine, Sir Pitt made his appearance, fresh, so bad. You know how I was thrown over neat. smugly shaved, with a waxy clean face, about the money, and who got it." and stiff shirt collar, his scanty hair combed "After the sacrifices I have made, and the and oiled, trimming his nails as he descend- manner in which I have stood by you, I think ed the stairs majestically, in a starched this sort of reproach is useless," Sir Pitt cravat and a gray flannel dressing-gown-a said. " Your marriage was your own doing, real old English gentleman-in a word, a not mine." model of neatness and every propriety. He " That's ovel now," said Rawdon; "that's started when he saw poor Rawdon in his over now." And the words were wrenched study in tumbled clothes, with blood-shot from him with a groan, which made his eyes, and his hair over his face. He thought brother start. his brother was not sober, and had been out " Good God! is she dead?" Sir Pitt said, all night on some orgy. "Good Gracious, with a voice of genuine alarm and commisRawdon," he said, with a blank face, "' what eration. brings you here at this time of the morning? " I wish I was," Rawdon replied. " If Why ain't you at home?" it wasn't for little Rawdon, I'd have cut my'" Home," said Rawdon, with a wild laugh. throat this. morning-and that damned vil" Don't be frightened, Pitt. I'm not drunk. lain's, too." Shut the door; I want to speak to you." Sir Pitt instantly guessed the truth, and Pitt closed the door and came up to the surmised that Lord Steyne was the person table, where he sate down in the other arm- whose life Rawdon wished to take. The chair-that one placed for the reception of colonel told his senior briefly, and in broken the steward, agent, or confidential visitor accents, the circumstances of the case. "It who came to transact business with the bar- was a regular plan between that scoundrel onet-and trimmed his nails more vehe- and her," he said. "The bailiffs were put mently than ever. upon me. I was taken as I was going out' Pitt, it's all over with me," the colonel of his house. When I wrote to her for said, after a pause. " I'm done." money, she said she was ill in bed, and put "I always said it would come to this," me off to another day. And when I got the baronet cried, peevishly, and beating a home I found her in diamonds, and sitting tattoo with his clean-trimmed nails. "I with that villain alone." He then went on to warned you a thousand times. I can't help describe hurriedly the personal conflict with you any more. Every shilling of my money Lord Steyne. To an affair of that nature, is tied up. Even the hundred pounds that of course, he said, there was but one issue; Jane took you last night were promised to and after his conference with his brother, he my lawyer to-morrow morning; and the was going away to make the necessary want of it will put me to great inconven- arrangements for the meeting which must ience. I don't mean to say that I won't ensue. "'And as it may end fatally for me," assist you ultimately. But as for paying Rawdon said, with a broken voice, "and as your creditors in full, I might as well hope the boy has no mother, I must leave him to to pay the national debt. It is madness, you and Jane, Pitt —only itwill be a comfort sheer madness, to think of such a thing. to me if you will promise me to be his You must come to a compromise. It's a friend." -painful thing. for the family; but every body The elder brother was much affected, and does it. There was George Kitely, Lord shook Rawdon's hand with a cordiality selRagland's son, went through the Court last dom exhibited by him. Rawdon passed his week, and was what they call white-washed, hand over his shaggy eyebrows. "Thank I believe. Lord Ragland would not pay a you brother," said he. "' I know I can trust shilling for him, and " your word." " It's not money I want," RPawdon broke " I will, upon my honor," the baronet said. in. " I'm not come to you about myself. And thus, and almost mutely, this bargain Never mind what happens to me —— " was struck between them. 260 VANITY FAIR. Then Rawdon tooK out of his pocket the lman was scared also by the colonel's'dlshevlittle pocket-book which he had discovered in eled appearance, and barred the way as if Becky's desk; and from which he drew a afraid that the other was going to?orce it. bundle of the notes which it contained. But Colonel Crawley only took out a card "Here's six hundred," he said —" you didn't and enjoined him particularly to send it in to know I was so rich. I want you to give the Lord Steyne, and to mark the address writmoney to Briggs, who lent it to us-and who ten on it, and say that Colonel Crawley was so kind to the boy —and I've always felt would be all day after one o'clock at the ashamed of having taken the poor old wom- Regent Club in St. James-street-not at an's money. And here's some more-I've home. The fat, red-faced man looked after only kept back a few pounds-which Becky him with astonishment as he strode away; may as well have, to get on with. As he so did the people in their Sunday clothes spoke he took hold of the other notes to give who were out so early; the charity boys to his brother; but his hands shook, and he with shining faces, the green-grocer lolling was so agitated that the pocket-book fell from: at his door, and the publican shutting his him, and out of it the thousand pound note shutters in the sunshine, against service which had been the last of the unlucky commenced. The people joked at the cabBecky's winnings. stand about his appearance, as he took a Pitt stooped and picked them up, amazed carriage there, and told the driver to take at so much wealth. " Not that," Rawdon him to Knightsbridge barracks. said. " I hope to put a bullet into the man All the bells were jangling and tolling as whom that belongs to." He had thought to he reached that place. He might have seen himself, it would be a fine revenge to wrap his old acquaintance Amelia, on her way from a ball in the note, and kill Steyne with it. Brompton to Russell-square, had he been After this colloquy the brothers once more looking out. Troops of schools were on shook hands and parted. Lady Jane had their march to church; the shiny pavement heard of the colonel's arrival, and was wait- and outsides of coaches in the suburbs were ing for her husband in the adjoining dining- thronged with people out upon their Sunday room, with female instinct, auguring evil. pleasure. But the colonel was much too The door of the dining-room happened to be busy to take any heed of these phenomena, left open, and the lady, of course, was issuing and, arriving at Knightsbridge, speedily made from it as the two brothers passed out of the his way up to the room of his old friend and study. She held out her hand to Rawdon, comrade, Captain Macmurdo, who Crawley and said she was glad he was come to break- found, to his satisfaction, was in barracks. fast; though she could perceive, by his hag- Captain Macmurdo, a veteran officer and gard, unshorn face, and the dark looks of her Waterloo man, greatly liked by his regiment, husband, that there was very little question in which want of nioney alone prevented him of breakfast between them. Rawdon mut- fiom attaining the highest ranks, was enjoytered some excuses about an engagement, ing the forenoon calmly in bed. He had squeezing hard the timid little hand which been at a fast supper-party, given the night his sister-in-law reached out to him. Her before by Captain the Honorable George imploring eyes could read nothing but calam- Cinqbars, at his house in Brompton-square, ity in his face; but he went away without to several young men of the regiment, and another word. Nor did Sir Pitt vouchsafe a number of ladies of the corps de ballet, her any explanation. The children came and old Mac, who was at home with people up to salute him, and he kissed them in his of all ages and ranks, and consorted with usual frigid manner. The mother took both generals, dog-fanciers, opera-dancers, bruisof them close to herself, and held a hand of ers, and every kind of person. in a word, each of them as they knelt down to prayers, was resting himself after the night's labors, which Sir Pitt read to them, and to the ser- and, not being on duty, was in bed. vants in their Sunday suits or liveries, ranged His room was hung round with boxing, upon chairs on the other side of the hissing sporting, and dancing pictures, presented to tea-urn. Breakfast was so late that day, him by comrades as they retired from the in consequence of the delays which had regiment, and married and settled into quiet occurred, that the church bells began to ring life. And as he was now nearly fifty years while they were sitting over their meal; of age, twenty-four of which he had passed and Lady Jane was too ill, she said, to go to in the corps, he had a singular museum. church, though her thoughts had been en- He was one of the best shots in England, tirely astray during the period of family and, for a heavy man, one of the best riders; devotion. indeed, he and Crawley had been rivals when Rawdon Crawley meanwhile hurried on the latter was in the army. To be brief, firom Great Gaunt-street, and knocking at Mr. Macmurdo was lying in bed, reading in the great blonze Medusa's head which stands Bell's Life an account of that very fight beon the portal of Gaunt House, brought out tween the Tutbury Pet and the Barking the purple Silenus in a red and silver waist- Butcher, which has been before mentionedcoat, who acts as porter of that palace. The a venerable bristly warrior, with a little i kIse A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO, 261 shaved gray head, with a silk nightcap, a red man or not, we'll put a bullet in him, damn face and nose, and a great dyed mustache. him. As for women, they're all so." When Rawdon told the captain he wanted "You don't know how fond I was of a friend, the latter knew perfectly well on that one," Rawdon said, half inarticulately. what duty of friendship he was called to act, " Damme, I followed her like a footman. I and indeed had conducted scores of affairs gave up every thing I had to her.' I'm a for his acquaintances with the greatest pru- beggar because I would marry her. By deuce and skill. His royal highness, the late Jove, sir, I've pawned my own watch.in orlainented commander-in-chief, had had the der to get her any thing she fancied: and greatest regard for Macmurdo on this ac- she-she's been making a purse for herself count; and he was the common refuge of all the time, and grudged me a hundred gentlemen in trouble. pound to get me out of quod." He then "What's the row about, Crawley, my fiercely and incoherently, and with an agitaboy?" said the old warrior. "No more tion under which his counselor had never gambling business, hay, like that when we before seen him labor, told Macmurdo the shot Captain Marker?" circumstances of the story. His adviser " It's about-about my wife," Crawley caught at some stray hints in it. answered, casting down his eyes and turn- "She may be innocent, after all," he said. ing very red. "She says so. Steyne has been a hundred The other gave a whistle. "I always said times alone with her in the house before." she'd throw you over," he began. Indeed,'" It may be so," Rawdon answered sadly there were bets in the regiment and at the " but this don't look very innocent:" and he clubs regarding the probable fate of Colonel showed the captain the thousand pound Crawley, so lightly was his wife's character note which he had found in Becky's pocketesteemed by his comrades and the world. book. " This is what he gave her, Mac: But seeing the savage look with which Raw- and she kept it unknown to me: and with don answered the expression of this opin- this money in the house, she refused to ion, Macmurdo did not think fit to enlarge stand by me when I was locked up." The upon it farther. captain could not but own that the secreting - "Is there no way out of it, old boy?" the of the money had a very ugly look. captain continued, in a grave tone. "Is it While they were engaged in their cononly suspicion, you know, or-or what is it? ference, Rawdon dispatched Captain MacAny letters? Can't you keep it quiet? Best murdo's servant to Curzon-street, with an not make any noise about a thing of that sort, order to the domestic there to give up a bag if you can help it." "Think of his only of clothes of which the colonel had great finding her out now," the captain thought to need. And during the man's absence, and himself, and remembered a hundred partic- with great labor and a Johnson's Dictionary, ular conversations at the mess-table,in which which stood themni in much stead, Rawdon Mrs. Crawley's reputation had been torn to and his second composed a letter, which the shreds. latter was to send to Lord Steyne. Cap"There's no way but one out of it," tain Macmurdo had the honor of waiting Rawdon replied; "and there's only a way upon the Marquis of Steyne, on the part of out of it for one of us, Mac-do you under- Colonel- Rawdon Crawley, and begged to instand? I was put out of the way-arrested! timate that he was empowered by the col I found'em alone together. I told him he onel to make any ayrlangements for the was a liar and a coward, and knocked him meeting which, he had no doubt, it was his down and thrashed him." lordship's intention to demand, and which S' erved him right," Macmurdo said. the circumstances of the morning had ren-'Who is it?" dered inevitable. Captain Macmurdo begRawdon answered it was Lord Steyne. ged Lord Steyne, in the most polite man"The deuce' a mar:quis! they said he- ner, to appoint a friend, with whom he that is, they said you —" (Captain M'M.) might communicate, and "What the devil do you mean?" roared desired that the meeting might take place out Rawdon. " Do you mean that you ever with as little delay as possible. heard a fellow doubt about my wife, and In a postscript the captain stated that he didn't tell me, Mac?" had in his possession a bank-note for a large " The world's very censorious, old boy," amount, the property of the Marquis of the other replied. "What the deuce was Steyne. And he was anxious, on the colthe good of my telling you what any tom- onel's behalf, to give up the note to its fools talked about?" owner. "It was damned unfriendly, Mac," said By the time this note was composed, the Rawdon, quite overcome; and, covering his captain's servant returned firom his mission face with his hands, he gave way to an emo- to Colonel Crawley's house in Curzon-street, tion, the sight of which caused the tough old but without the carpet-bag and portmancampaigner opposite him towince with sym- teau, for which he had been sent -and aMthy. "4 Hold up, old boy," he said; "great with a very puzzled and odd face. 262 VANITY FAIR. f"They won't a give'em up," said the CHAPTER LV. man;'"there's a regular shinty in the house; and every thing at sixes and sevens. IN WHICH THE SAME SUBJECT IS PURSUED. The landlord's come in and took possession. BECKY did mot rally from the state of stuThe servants was a drinkin up in the draw- por and confusion in which the events of the ing-room. They said-they said you had a previous night had plunged her intrepid gone off with the plate, colonel"-the man spirit, until the bells of the Curzcn-street added after a pause: —" One of the servants chapels were ringing for afternoon service; is off already. And Simpson, the man as and, rising from her bed, she began to ply was very noisy and drunk indeed, says noth- her own bell, in order to summon the French ing shall go out of the house until his wages maid, who had left her some hours before. is paid up." Mrs. Rawdon Crawley rang many times "; The account of this little revolution in in vain; and though, on the last occasion, May Fair astonished and gave a little gayety she rang with such vehemence as to pull to an otherwise very triste conversation. down the bell-rope, Mademoiselle Fifine did The two officers laughed at Rawdon's dis- not make her appearance; no, not though comfiture. her mistress, in a great pet, and with the "I'm glad the little'un isn't at home," bell-rope in her hand, came out to the landRawdon said, biting his nails. " You re- ing-place, with her hair over her shoulders, member him, Mac, don't you, in the Riding and screamed out repeatedly for her attendSchool? How he sat the kicker, to be ant. sure! didn't he?" The truth is, she had quitted the premises "That he did, old boy," said the good- for many hours, and upon that permission natured captain. which is called French leave among us. Little Rawdonu was then sitting, one of After picking up the trinkets in the drawfifty gown-boys, in the Chapel of White- ing-room, Mademoiselle had ascended toher friars School: thinking, not about the ser- own apartments, packed and corded her own mon, but about going home next Saturday, boxes there, tripped out and called a cab for when his father would certainly tip him, herself, brought down her trunks with her and perhaps would take him to the play. own hand, and, without ever so much as "He's a regular trump, that boy," the asking the aid of any of the other servants, father went on, still musing about his son, who would probably have refused it, as they' I say, Mac, if any thing goes wrong-if I hated her cordially, and without wishing any drop-I should like you to go and see him, one of them good-by, had made her exit from you know: and say that I was very fond of Curzon-street. him, and that. And-dash it —old chap, The game, in her opinion, was over in give him these gold sleeve-buttons: it's all that little domestic establishment. Fifine I've got. He covered' his face with his went off in a cab, as we have known more black hands: over which the tears rolled exalted persons of her nation to do under and made furrows of white. Mr. Macmur- similar circumstances: but, more provident do had also occasion to take off his silk night- or lucky than these, she secured not only cap and rub it across his eyes. her own property, but some of her mistress's "; Go down and order some breakfast," (if, indeed, that lady could be said to have he said to his man, in a loud cheerful voice any property at all); and not only carried off -" What'11 you have, Crawley? Some the trinkets before alluded to, and some fadeviled kidneys and a herring-let's say- vorite dresses on which she had long kept And, Clay, lay out some dressing things for her eye, but four richly guilt Louis Quatorze the colonel: we were always pretty much candlesticks, six gilt Albums, Keepsakes. and of a size, Rawdon, my boy, and neither of us Books of Beauty, a gold enameled snuff-box, ride so light aswe did when we first entered which had once belonged to Madame du the corps." With which, and leaving the Barri, and the sweetest little inkstand and colonel to dress himself, Macmurdo turned mother-of-pearl blotting-book, which Becky round toward the wall, and resumed the pe- used when she composed her charming little rusal of Bell's Life, until such time as his pink notes, had vanished from the premises friend's toilet was complete, and he was in Curzon-street, together with Mademoiat liberty to commence his own. selle Fifine, and all the silver laid on the This, as he was about to meet a lord, table for the little festin which Rawdon inCaptain Macmurdo performed with partic- terrupted. The plated ware mademoiselle ular care. He waxed his mustache into a left behind her as too cumbrous, probably, state of brilliant polish, and put on a tight for which reason, no doubt, she also left the -cravat, and a trim buff waistcoat: so that fire-irons, the chimney-glasses, and the roseall the young officers in the mess-room, wood cottage piano. whither Crawley had preceded his friend, A lady very like her subsequently kept a complimented Mac on his appearance at milliner's shop in the Rue du Helder atParis, breakfast, and asked if he was going to be where she lived with great credit, and enmarried that Sunday. joyed the patronage of my Lord Steyne A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 263 This person always spoke of England as of did not join. "He ain't a coming back," the most treacherous country in the world, Mr. Trotter resumed. " He sent for his and stated to her young pupils that she had things, and I wouldn't let'em go, although been cffreusement vole by natives of that Mr. Raggles would: and I don't b'lieve he's island. It was no doubt compassion for her no more a colonel than I am. He's hoff: misfortunes which induced the Marquis of and I suppose you're a goin' after him. Steyne to be so very kind to Madame de You're no better than swindlers, both on Saint Amaranthe. May she flourish as she you. Don't be a bullyin' me. I won't stand deserves-she appears no more in our quar- it. Pay us our selleries, I say. Pay us our ter of Vanity Fair. selleries." It was evident, from Mr. TrotHearing a buzz and a stir below, and indig- ter's flushqd countenance and defective innant at the impudence of those servants who tonation, that he, too, had had recourse to would not answer her summons, Mrs. Craw- vinous stimulus. ley flung her morning robe round her, and " Mr. Raggles," said Becky, in a passion descended majestically to the drawing-room, of vexation, "you will not surely let me be whence the noise proceeded. insulted by that drunken man?" "Hold The cook was there with blackened face, your noise, Trotter; do, now," said Simpseated on the beautiful chintz sofa by the son, the page. He was affected by his side of Mrs. Raggles, to whom she was ad- mistress's deplorable situation, and succeedministering Maraschino. The page with the ed in preventing an outrageous denial of the sugar-loaf buttons, who carried aboutBecky's epithet " drunken," on the footman's part. pink notes, and jumped about her little car- "O mam," said Raggles, "I never thought riage with such alacrity, was now engaged to live to see this year day. I've known the putting his fingers into a cream dish; the Crawley family ever since I was born. I footman was talking to Raggles, who had a lived butler with Miss Crawley for thirty face full of perplexity and woe-and yet, years; and I little thought one. of that faunthough the door was open, and Becky had ily was a goin' to ruing me —yes, ruing me" been screaming a half dozen of times a few -said the poor fellow; with tears in his eyes. feet off, not one of her attendants had obeyed " Har you a goin' to pay me? You've her call. " Have a little drop; *do'ee, now, lived in this ouse four year. You've'ad my Mrs. Raggles," the cook was saying as Becky substance: my plate and linning. You ho entered, the white Cashmere dressing-gown me a milk and butter bill of two hundred flouncing around her. pounds: you must ave noo laid heggs for " Simpson! Trotter!" the mistress of the your homlets, and cream for your spanil dog." house cried, in great wrath. 1" How dare " She didn't care what her own flesh and you stay here when you heard me call l blood had," interposed the cook. " Many's!How dare you sit down in my presence? the time he'd have starved but for me." Where's my maid?" The page withdrew "' He's a charity boy now, Cooky," said his fingers from his mouth with a momenta- Mr. Trotter, with a drunken ha, ha! And ry terror: but the cook took off a glass of honest Raggles continued, in a lamentable Maraschino, of which Mrs. Raggles had had tone, an enumeration of his griefs. All he enough, staring at Becky over the little gilt said was true. Becky and her husband had glass, as she drained its contents. The liq- ruined him. He had bills coming due next uor appeared to give the odious rebel courage. week, and no means to meet them. He "Your sofy, indeed!" Mrs. Cook said. would be sold up, and turned out of his shop "I'm a settin' on Mrs. Raggles's sofy. Don't and his house, because he had trusted to the you stir, Mrs. Raggles, mum. I'm a settin' Crawley family. His tears and lamentations on Mr. and Mrs. Raggles's sofy, which they made Becky more peevish than ever. bought with honest money, and very dear it "You all seem to be against me," she cost'em, too. And I'm thinkin' if I sethere said, bitterly. "What do you want? i until I'm paid my wages, I shall set a pre- can't pay you on Sunday. Come back tocious long time,; Mrs. Raggles; and set I will, morrow, and I'll pay you every thing. I too —ha, ha!" and with this she filled her- thought Colonel Crawley had settled with self another glass of the liquor, and drank it you. He will, to-morrow. I declare to you, with a more hideously satirical air. upon my honor, that he left home this morn" Trotter! Simpson! turn that drunken ing with fifteen hundred pounds in his pocketwretch out," screamed Mrs. Crawley.. book. He has left me nothing. Apply to " I shawn't," said Trotter, the footman; him. Give me a bonnet and shawl, and let "turn out yourself. Pay our selleries, and me go out and find him. There was a difturn me out, too. We'll go fast enough." ference between us this morning. You all " Are you all here to insult me?" cried seem to know it. I promise you, upon my Becky, in a fury; " when Colonel Crawley word, that you shall all be paid. He has got comes home I'll —" a good appointment. Let me go out and At this the servants burst into a hoqrse find him." haw-haw, in which, however, Raggles, who This audacious statement caused Raggles 3till kept a most melancholy countenance, and the other personages present to look at 264 ~ VANITY FAIR. one another with a wild surprise, and with i brother-in-law again turned red). "We it Rebecca left them. She went up-stairs have talked about it. Your genius and and dressed herself this time without the Lord Steyne's interest made it more than aid of her French maid. She went into probable, had not this dreadful calamity Rawdon's room, and there saw that a trunk come to put an end to all our hopes. But, and bag were packed ready for removal, with first, I own that it was my object to resa pencil direction that they should be given cue my dear husband-him whom I love in when called for; then she went into the spite of all his ill usage and suspicions of Frenchwoman's garret; every thing was me-to remove him from the poverty and clean, and all the drawers emptied there. ruin which was impending over us. I saw She bethought herself of the trinkets, which Lord Steyne's partiality for me," she said, had been left on the ground, and felt certain casting down her eyes. " I own that I did that the woman had fled. " Good heavens! every thing in my power to make myself was ever such ill luck as mine?" she said; pleasing to him, and as far as an honest womr"to be so near, and to lose all. Is it all too an may, to secure his-his esteem. It was late? No; there was one chance more." only on Friday morning that the news arShe dressed herself, and went away un- rived of the death of the governor of Covenmolested this time, but alone. It was four try Island, and my lord instantly secured o'clock. She went swiftly down the streets the appointment for my dear husband. It (she had no money to pay for a carriage), was intended as a surprise for him —he was and never stopped until she cam.e to Sir to see it in the papers to-day. Even after Pitt Crawley's door, in Great Gaunt-street. that horrid arrest took place (the expenses Where was Lady Jane Crawley? She was of which Lord Steyne generously said he at church. Becky was not sorry. Sir Pitt would settle, so that I was in a manner prewas in his study, and had given orders not vented from coming to my husband's asto be disturbed —she must see him-she sistance), my lord was laughing with me, slipped by the sentinel in livery at once, and and saying that my dearest Rawdon would was in Sir Pitt's room before the astonished be consoled when he read his appointment baronet had even laid down the paper. in the paper, in that shocking spun-bailiff's He turned red and started back from her house. And then-then he came home. with a look of great alarm and horror. His suspicions were excited-the dreadful " Do not look so," she said. "' I am not scene took place between my lord and my guilty, Pitt, dear Pitt; you were my fiiend cruel, cruel Rawdon-and, O my God, what once. Before God I am not guilty. I seem will happen next? Pitt, dear Pitt! pity so. Every thing is against me. And O! me, and reconcile us!" And as she spoke at such a moment! just when all my hopes she flung herself down on her knees, and were, about to be realized: just when happi- bursting into tears, seized hold of Pitt's ness was in store for us." hand, which she kissed passionately.;' Is this true, what I see in the paper, It was in this very attitude that Lady then?" Sir Pitt said-a paragraph in which Jane, who, returning from church, ran to had greatly surprised him. her husband's room directly she heard Mrs. "It is true. Lord Steyne told me on Rawdon Crawley was closeted there, found Friday night, the night of that fatal ball. the baronet and his sister-in-law. He has been promised an appointment any' I am surprised that woman has the autime these six months. Mr. Martyr, the dacity toxenter this house," Lady Jane said, colonial secretary, told him yesterday that it trembling in every limb, and turning quite was made out. That unlucky arrest ensued; pale. (Her ladyship had sent out her maid that horrible meeting. I was only guilty of directly after breakfast, who had communi. too much devotedness to Rawdon's service. cated with Raggles and Rawdon Crawley's I have received Lord Steyne alone a hun- household, who had told her all, and a great dred times before. I confess I had money deal more than they knew, of that story, of which Rawdon knew nothing. Don't and many others besides.) "How dare you know how careless he is of it, and could Mrs. Crawley to enter the house of-of an I dare to confide it to him? And so she honest family?" went on with a perfectly connected story, Sir Pitt started back, amazed at his wife's which she poured into the ears of her per- display of vigor. Becky still kept her kneel. plexed kinsman. ing posture, and clung to Sir Pitt's hand. It was to the following effect. Becky "Tell her that she does not know all-that owned, and with perfect frankness, but I aminnocent,dearPitt,"shewhimperedout. deep contrition, that having remarked Lord "Upon my word, my love, I think you Steyne's partiality for her (at the mention, do Mrs. Crawley injustice," Sir Pitt said, of which Pitt blushed), and being secure of at which speech Rebecca was vastly reliev her own virtue, she had determined to turn ed. "Indeed I believe her to be -." the great peer's attachment to the advant- "To be what?" cried out Lady Jane. age of herself and her family.'" I looked her clear voice thrilling, and her heart beat~ for a peerage for you, Pitt," she said (the. ing violently as she spoke. " To be a wk'k A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 265 ed woman-a heartless mother, a false wife? It was but a year since the young cornet, She never loved her dear little boy, who now so knowing a hand in Cribb's parlor, used to fly here and tell me of her cruelty had a still lingering liking for toffy, and used to him. She never came into a family but to be birched at Eton. she strove to bring misery with her, and to So they went on talking about dancers, weaken the most sacred affections with her fights, drinking, demireps, until Macmurdo wicked flattery and falsehoods. She has came down and joined the boys and the deceived her husband, as she has deceived conversation. He did not appear to think every body; her soul is black with vanity, that any especial reverence was due to their worldliness, and all sorts of crime. I tren- boyhood; the old fellow cut in with stories, ble when I touch her. I keep my children to the full as choice as any the youngest out of her sight. I —" rake present had to tell;-nor did his own "Lady Jane!" cried Sir Pitt, starting up, gray hairs, nor their smooth faces detain "this is really language-" him. Old Mac was famous for his good " I have been a true and faithful wife to stories. He was not exactly a lady's man; you, Sir Pitt," Lady Jane continued in- that is, men asked him to dine rather at the trepidly; "I have kept my marriage vow houses of their mistresses than of their as I made it to God, and have been obedient mothers. There can scarcely be a life lower, and gentle as a wife should. But righteous perhaps, than his; but he was quite conobedience has its limits, and I declare that I tented with it, such as it was, and led it in will not bear that-that woman again under perfect good nature, simplicity and modesty my roof: if she enters it, I and my children of demeanor. will leave it. She is not wortby to sit down By the time Mac had finished a copious with Christian people. You-you must breakfast, most of the others had concluded choose, sir, between her and me;" and with their meal. Young Lord Varinas was this my lady swept out of the room, flut- smoking an immense Meerschaum pipe, tering with her own audacity, and leaving while Captain Hugues was employed with a Rebecca and Sir Pitt not a little astonished cigar: that violent little devil, Tandyman, at it. with his little bull-terrier between his legs, As for Becky, she was not hurt; nay, was tossing for shillings with all his might she was pleased. "It was the diamond (that fellow was always at some game or clasp you gave me;" she said to Sir Pitt, other) against Captain Deuceace; and Mac reaching him out her hand; and before she and Rawdon walked off to, the club, neither, left him (for which event you may be sure of course, having given any hint of the busimy Lady Jane was looking out from her ness which was occupying their minds. dressing-room window in the upper story) Both, on the other hand had joined pretty the baronet had promised to go and seek gayly in the conversation; as, why should out his brother, and endeavor to bring about they interrupt it? Feasting, drinking, ria reconciliation. baldry, laughter, go on alongside of all sorts of other occupations in Vanity Fair-the Rawdon found some of the young fellows crowds were pouring out of church as Rawof the regiment seated in the mess-room at don and his fiiend passed down St. James's breakfast, and was induced without much street and entered into their club. difficulty to partake of that meal, and of the The old bucks and habitues, who ordinarily deviled legs of fowls and soda-water with stand gaping and grinning out of the great which these young gentlemen fortified them- front window of the club, had not arrived at selves. Then they had a conversation be- their post as yet-the newspaper-room was fitting the day and their time of life: about almost empty. One man was present whom the next pigeon-match at Battersea, with Rawdon did not know; another to whom he relative bets upon Ross and Osbaldiston: owed a little score for whist, and whom, in about Mademoiselle Ariane of the French consequence, he did not care to meet; a Opera, and who had left her, and how she third was reading the Royalist (a periodical was consoled by Panther Carr; and about the famous for its scandal and its attachment to fight between the Butcher and the Pet, and church and king) Sunday paper at the table, the probabilities that it was a cross. *Young and looking up at Crawley with some interTandyman, a hero of seventeen, laboriously est, said, "Crawley, I congratulate you." endeavoring to get up a pair of mustaches, "What do you mean?" sail the colonel. had seen the fight, and spoke in the most "It is in the Observer and Royalist too," scientific manner about the battle, and the said Mr. Smith. condition of the men. It was he who had' What I" Rawdon cried, turning very driven the Butcher on to the ground in his red. He thought that the affair with Lord drag, and passed the whole'of the previous Steyne was already in the public prints.'night with him. Had there not been foul Smith looked up wondering and smiling at play he must have won it. All the old the agitation which the colonel exhibited as files of the ring were in it: and Tandyman he took up the paper, and trembling, began wouldn't pay; no, damme, he wouldn't pay. to read. 266 VANITY FAIR. Mr. Smith and Mr. Brown (the gentle- " Delighted to know Captain Macmurdo, man with whom Rawdon had the outstand- I'm sure," Mr. Wenham said, and tendered ing whist account) had been talking about another smile and shake of the hand to the the colonel just before he came in. second, as he had done to the principal. "It is come just in the nick of time," said Mac put out one finger, armed with a buckSmith. " I'suppose Crawley had not a skin glove, and made a very frigid bow to shilling in the world." Mr. Wenham over his tight cravat. He "It's a wind that blows every body good." was, perhaps, discontented at being put in Mr. Brown said. " He can't go away with- communication with a Fekin, and thought out paying.me a pony he owes me." that Lord Steyne should have sent him a " What's the salary?" asked Smith. colonel at the very least. " Two or three thousand," answered the " As Macmurdo acts for me, and knows other. " But the climate's so infernal, they what I mean," Crawley said, " I had better'ion't enjoy it long. Liverseege died after retire and leave you together." eighteen months of it: and the man before "Of course," said Macmurdo. went off in six weeks, I hear." " By no means, my dear colonel," Mr. " Some people say his brother is a very Wenham said; " the interview which I had elevez man. I always found him a d- the honor of requesting was with you persore," Amish Gacnlated. " He must have sonally, though the company of Captain od intars6t, though. He must have got Macmurdo can not fail to be also most pleas-:~e colonel the piece." ing. In fact, captain, I hope that our con"He!" said Brow,-, with a sneer- versation will lead to none but the most'Pooh. It was Lord Stloy:e,ot it." agreeable results, very different from those " How do you meat?' which my friend Colonel Crawley appears "A virtuous woman is a.,ltown to her to anticipate." gusband," answered the Cther, shigm-ticUally, " Humph!" said Captain Macmurdo. Be and went to read his papers. hanged! these civilians, he thought to himRawdon, for his part, read in thB.?:)-list self, they are always for arranging and the following astonishing paragrap1:: —- speechifying. Mr. Wenham took a chair, "GOVERNORSHIP OF COVENTRY I-t iND. which was not offered to him-took a paper -H.M.S. Yellowjack, Commander -Taun- rom his pocket, and resumedders, has brought letters and papers fxom "You have seen this gratifying announceCoventry Island. H. E. Sir Thomas Liver ment in the papers this morning, colonel? seege had fallen a victim to the prevailin- Government has secured a most valuable fever at Swamptown. His loss is deeply sorvlalit, and you, if you accept office, as I felt in the flourishing colony. We hear that Fresuno you will, an excellent appointment. the Governorship has been offered to Colonel Tirtee thousand a year, delightful climate, Rawdon Crawley, C. B., a distinguished excellent goverument-house, all your own Waterloo officer. We need not only men way in the culo.y, and a certain promotion. of acknowledged bravery, but men of admin- I congratulate you with all my heart. I istrative talents to superintend the affairs of presume yotu kniow, gentlemen, to whom our colonies; and we have no doubt that the my friend is't0ebted for this piece of patgentleman selected by the Colonial Office to ronage?" fill the lamented vacancy which has occurred "Hanged, if I know," the captain said: at Coventry Island is admirably calculated his principal turned ely red. for the post which he is about to occupy." " To one of the nmost geoerous and kind"Coventry Island! where was it? who est men in the worlk, as he is one of the had appointed him to the government? You greatest-to my eacolln; frieled, the Marmust take me out as your secretary, old quis of Steyne." boy," Captain Macmurdo said laughing; and "I'll see him d —-- before 1 take his as Crawley and his friend sat wondering and place," growled out Ravrdon. perplexed over the announcement, the club "You are irritated aga'nst my noble waiter brought in to the colonel a card, on friend," Mr. Wenham calmly resunled: which the name of Mr. Wenham was en- "and now, in the name of tcoh:mon sense graved, who begged to see Colonel Crawley. and justice, tell me why?" The colonel and his aid-de-camp went out W Ihy?" cried Rawdon in surprise. to meet the gentleman, rightly conjecturing "Why? Damme!" said the captain, ringthat he was an emissary of Lord Steyne. ing his stick on the ground. " How d'ye do, Crawley? I am glad to see "Damme, indeed," said Mr. Wenham, you," said Mr. Wenham, with a bland smile, with the most agreeable smile; " still, look and grasping Crawley's hand with great at the matter as a man of the world-as an cordiality. honest man, and see if you have not been "You come, I suppose, from — " in the wrong. You come home from a "Exactly," said Mr. Wenham. journey, and find-what? —my Lord Steyne "Then this is my friend Captain Mac- supping at your house in Curzon-street murdo of the Life Guards Green." with IMrs. Crawley. Is the circumstance A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 267 strange or novel? Has he not been a hun- as a gentleman to the fact. If we had come dred times before in the same position? -and it was only one of Mrs. WVenham's Upon my honor and word as a gentleman" headaches which prevented us —she suffers (Mr. WVenham here put his hand on his under them a good deal, especially in the waistcoat with a parliamentary air), " I de- spring-if we had come, and you had reclare I think that your suspicions are mon- turned home, there would have been no strous and utterly unfounded, and that they quarrel, no insult, no suspicion-and so it is injure an honorable gentleman, who has positively because my poor wife has a headproved his good will toward you by a thou- ache that you are to bring death down upon sand benefactions-and a most spotless and two men of honor, and plunge- two of the innocent lady." most excellent and ancient families in the " You don't mean to say that-that Craw- kingdom into disgrace and sorrow." ley's mistaken?" said Mr. Macmurdo. Mr. Macmurdo looked at his principal "I believe that Mrs. Crawley is as inno- with the air of a man profoundly puzzled: cent as my wife, Mrs. Wenham," Mr. and Rawdon felt with a kind of rage that Wenham said, with great energy. "1I be- his prey was escaping him. He did not believe that, misled by an infernal jealousy, ]ieve a word of the story, and yet, how dismy friend here strikes a blow against not credit or disprove it? only an infirm and old man of high station, Mr. Wenham continued with the same his constant friend and benefactor, but against fluent oratory, which in his place in parliahis wife, his own dearest honor, his son's ment he had so often practiced-" I sate for future reputation, and his own prospects in an hour or more by Lord Steyne's bedside, life. beseeching, imploring Lord Steyne to forego "I will tell you what happened," Mr. his intention of demanding a meeting. I Wenham continued with great solemnity; pointed out to him that the circumstances " I was sent for this morning by my Lord were after all suspicious-they were susSteyne, and found him in a pitiable state, as, picious. I acknowledge it, any man in your I need hardly inform Colonel Crawley, any position might have been taken in —I said man of age and infirmity would be after a that a man furious with jealousy is to all inpersonal conflict with a man of your strength. tents and purposes a madman, and should I say to your face, it was a cruel advantage be as such regarded-that a duel between you took of that strength, Colonel Crawley. you must lead to the disgrace of all parties It was not only the body of my noble and concerned-that a man of his lordship's exexcellent friend which was wounded-his alted station had no right in these days, heart, sir, was bleeding. A man whom he when the most atrocious revolutionary prinhad loaded with benefits and regarded with ciples, and the most dangerous leveling docaffection, had subjected him to the foulest trines are preached among the vulgar, to indignity. What was this very appointment, create a public scandal; and that, however which appears in the journals of to-day, but innocent, the common people would insist a proof of his kindness to you? When I that he was guilty. In fine, I implored him *saw his lordship this morning, I found him not to send the challenge." in a state pitiable indeed to see; and as an- " I don't believe one word of the whole xious as you are to revenge the outrage story," said Rawdon, grinding his teeth. committed upon him, by blood. You know " I believe it a damned lie, and that you're he has given his proofs, 1 presume, Colonel in it, Mr. Wenham. If the challenge don't Crawley?" come firom him, by Jove it shall come from "He has plenty of pluck," said the colo- me." nol. "Nobody ever said he hadn't." Mr. Wenham turned deadly pale at this 4' His first order to me was to write a let- savage interruption of the colonel, and looked ter of challenge, and to carry it to Colonel toward the door. Crawley. One or other of'you, he said, But he found a champion in Captain Macmust not survive the outrage of last murdo. That gentleman rose up with an night." oath, and rebuked Rawdon for his language. Crawley nodded. " You're coming to "You put the affair into my hands, and you the point, Wenham," he said. shall act as I think fit, by Jove, and not as "I tried my utmost to calm Lord Steyne. you do. You have no right to insult Mr. Good God! sir," I said, "how I regret Wenham with this sort of language; and that Mrs. Wenham and myself had not ac- damme, Mr. Wenham, you deserve an cepted Mrs. Crawley's invitation to sup with apology. And as for a challenge to Lord her!" Steyne; you may get somebody else to carry "She asked you to sup with her?" Cap- it, I won't. If my lord, after being thrashed, tain Macmurdo said. chooses to sit still, damme, let him. And as " After the Opera. Here's the note of for the affair with-with Mrs. Crawley, my invitation-stop-no, this is another paper- belief is, there's nothing proved at all: that I thought I had it, but it's of no conse- your wife's innocent, as innocent as Mr. quence, and I pledge you my word of honor Wenham says she is: and at any rate, that 268 VANITY FAIR. you would be a - fool not to take the place And after this preface, he tried with all and hold your tongue." his eloquence to effect a reconciliation be-;" Captain Macmurdo, you speak like a tween Rawdon and his wife. lie recapituman of sense," Mr. Wenham cried out, im- lated the statements which Becky had made, mensely relieved —" I forget any words that pointed out the probabilities of their truth, Colonel Crawley has used in the irritation and asserted his own firm belief in her innoof the moment." cence. "I thought you would," Rawdon said, But Rawdonwould nothear of it. "She with a sneer. has kept money concealed from me these -" Shut your mouth, you old stoopid," the ten years," he said. " She swore, last night captain said, good-naturedly. " Mr. Wen- only, she had none fiom Steyne. She knew ham ain't a fighting man; and quite right, it was all up, directly I found it. If she's too." not guilty, Pitt, she's as bad as guilty; and " This matter, in my belief," the Steyne I'll never see her again, never." His head emissary cried, 1"ought to be buried in the sunk down on his chest as he spoke the most profound oblivion. A word concerning words; and he looked quite broken and sad. it should never pass these doors. I speak "Poor old boy," Macmurdo said, shaking in the interest of my friend, as well as of his head. Colonel Crawley, who persists in considering me his enemy." Rawdon Crawley resisted for some time "' I suppose Lord Steyne won't talk about the idea of taking the place which had been it very much," said Captain Macmurdo; procured for him by so odious a patron: and "and I don't see why our side should. The was also for removing the boy from the affair ain't a very pretty one, any way you school where Lord Steyne's interest had take it; and the less said about it the better. placed him. He was induced, however, to It's you are thrashed, and not us; and if acquiesce in these benefits by the entreaties you are satisfied, why, I think, we should be." of his brother and Macmurdo: but mainly Mr. Wenham took his hat, upon this, and by the latter pointing out to him what a fury Captain Macmurdo following him to the Steyne would be in, to think that his enedoor, shut it upon himself and Lord Steyne's my's fortune was made through his means. agent, leaving Rawdon chafing within. When When the Marquis of Steyne came abroad the two were on the other side, Macmurdo after his accident, the colonial secretary looked hard at the other embassador, and bowed up to him and congratulated himself with an expression of any thing but respect and the service upon having made so excelon his, round jolly face. lent an appointment. These congratulations "You don't stick at a trifle, Mr. Wen- were received with a degree of gratitude ham," he said. which may be imagined on the part of Lord;' You flatter me, Captain Macmurdo," Steyne. answered the other, with a smile. "Upon The secret of the rencontre between him my honor and conscience, now, Mrs. Craw- and Colonel Crawley was buried in the proley did ask us to sup after the Opera." foundest oblivion, as Wenham said; that is, " Of course; and Mrs. Wenham had one by the seconds and the principals. But beof her headaches. I say, I've got a thou- fore that evening was over it was talked of sand pound note here, which I will give you at fifty dinner-tables in Vanity Fair. Little if you will give me a receipt, please; and I Cackleby himself went to seven eveping will put the note up in an envelope for parties, and told the story with comments Lord Steyne. My man shan't fight him. and emendations at each place. How Mrs. But we had rather not take his money." Washington White reveled in it! The 1" It was all a mistake-all a mistake, my Bishopess of Ealing was shocked beyond exdear siri," the other said, with the utmost pression: the bishop went and wrote his innocence of manner; and was bowed down name down in the visiting-book at Gaunt the club steps by Captain Macmurdo, just House that very day. Little Southdown as Sir Pitt Crawley ascended them. There was sorry: so you may be sure was his siswas a slight acquaintance between these two ter Lady Jane, very sorry. Lady Macbeth gentlemen; and the captain, going back with wrote it off to her other daughter at the the baronet to the room where the latter's Cape of Good Hope. It was town talk for brother was, told Sir Pitt in confidence, that at least three days, and was only kept out he had made the affair all right between of the newspapers by the exertions of iMlr. Lord Steyne and the colonel. Wagg, acting upon a hint from Mr. Wenham. Sir Pitt was well pleased, of course, at The bailiffs and brokers seized upon poor this intelligence; and congratulated his Raggles in Curzon-streeet, and the late fair brother warmly upon the peaceful issue of tenant of that poor little mansion was in the the affair, making appropriate moral re- mean while-where? Wtho cared? Who marks upon the evils of dueling, and the asked after a day or two? Was she guilty unsatisfactory nature of that sort of settle- or not? We all know how charitable the ment of disputes. world is, and how the verdict of Vanity A NOVEL WITHO'UT A HERO. 269 Fair goes when there is a doubt. Some pects the old man looked much higher. Iie people said she had gone to Naples in pur- would make a gentleman of the little chap, suit of Lord Steyne: while others averred was Mr. Osborne's constant saying regardthat his lordship quitted that city, and fled ing little Georgy. He saw him in his mind's to Palermo on hearing of Becky's arrival; eye, a collegian, a parliament-man, a baronet, some said she was living in Bierstadt, and had perhaps. The old man thought he would become a dame d'honneur to the Queen of die contented if he could see his grandson in Bulgaria; some that she was at Boulogne: a fair way to such honors. He would have and others, at a boarding-house at Cheltep- none but a tip-top college man to educate ham. him-none of your quacks and pretendersRawdon made her a tolerable annuity; no, no. A few years before he used to and we may be sure that she was a woman be savage, and inveigh against all parsons, who could make a little money go a great scholars, and the like, declaring that they way, as the saying is. He would have paid were a pack of humbugs, and quacks, that his debts on leaving England, could he have weren't fit to get their living but by grinding got any insurance office to take, his life; but Latin and Greek, and a set of supercilious the climate of Coventry Island was so bad dogs, that pretended to look down upon Britthat he could borrow no money on the ish merchants and gentlemen, who could buy strength of his annuity. He remitted, how- up half a hundred of'em. He would mourn ever, to his brother punctually, and wrote to now, in a very solemn manner, that his own his little boy regularly every mail. He kept education had been neglected, and repeatMacmurdo in cigars; and sent over quanti- edly point out in his pompous manner, to ties of shells, cayenne pepper, hot pickles, Georgy, the necessity and excellence of guava jelly, and colonial produce to Lady classical acquirements. Jane. He sent his brother home the Swamp When they met at dinner the grandsire Tbwn Gazette, in which the new governor used to ask the lad what he had been readwas praised with immense enthusiasm; ing during the day, and was greatly interwhereas, the Swamp Town Sentinel, whose ested at the report the boy gave of his own wife was not asked to government-house, studies: pretending to understand little declared that his excellency was a tyrant, George when he spoke regarding them. He compared to whom Nero was an enlighten- made a hundred blunders, and showed his ed philanthropist. Little Rawdon used to ignorance many a time. It did not increase like to get the papers and read about his the respect which the child had for his excellency. senior. A quick brain and a better educaHis mother never made any movement to tion elsewhere showed the boy very soon see the child. He went home to his aunt that his grandsire was a dullard: and he befor Sundays and holidays; he soon knew gan accordingly to command him and to look every bird's nest about Queen's Crawley, down upon him; for his previous education, and rode out with Sir Huddleston's hounds, humble and contracted as it had been, had which he admired so on his first well-re- made a much better gentleman of Georgy membered visit to Hampshire. than any plans of his grandfather could make him. He had been brought up by a kind, weak, and tender woman, who had no pride about any thing, but about him, and whose CHAPTER LVI. heart was so pure and whose bearing was so meek and humble, that she could not but needs be a true lady. She busied herself in GEORGY OSBORNE was now fairly estab- gentle offices and quiet duties; if she never lished in his grandfather's mansion in Rus- said brilliant things, she never spoke or sell-square: occupant of his father's room in thought unkind ones: guileless and artless, the house, and heir apparent of all the splen- loving and pure, indeed how could our poor dors there. The good looks, gallant bearing, little Amelia be other than a real gentleand gentlemanlike appearance of the boy woman? won the grandsire's heart for him. Mr. Os- Young Georgy lorded over this soft and borne was as proud of him as ever he had yielding nature; and the contrast of its simbeen of the elder George. plicity and delicacy with the coarse pomposThe child had many more luxuries and in- ity of the dull old man with whom he next dulgencies than had been awarded to his came in contact, made him lord over the father. Osborne's commerce had prospered latter too. If he had been a prince royal he greatly of late years. His wealth and irm- could not have been better brought up to portance in the city had very much increased. think well of himself. He had been glad enough in former days to While his mother was yearning after him put the elder George to a good private at home, and 1 do believe every hour of the school; and a commission in the army for day, and during most hours of the sad, lonehis son had been a source of no small pride Ily nights, thinking of him, this young gento him: for little George and his future pros- tleman had a number of pleasures and con 270 VANITY FAIR. solations administered to him, which made She had had a little black profile of him him, for his part, bear the separation fiom done for a shilling; and this was hung up Amelia very easily. Little boys who cry by the side of another portrait over her bed. when they are going to school, cry because One day the boy came on' his accustomed they are going to a very uncomfortable place. visit, galloping down' the little street at It is only a very few who weep from sheer Brompton, and bringing, as usual, all the affection. When you think that the eyes of inhabitants to the windows to admire his your childhood dried at the sight of a piece splendor, and with great eagerness, and a of gingerbread, and that a plum cake was a look of triumph in his face, he pulled a case compensation for the agony of parting with out of his great-coat-(it was a natty white your mamma and sisters-oh, my friend and great-coat, with a cape and a velvet collar)brother, you need not be too confident of pulled out a red morocco case which he your own fine feelings. gave her. Well, then, Master George Osborne had "I bought it with my own money, manlevery comfort and luxury that a wealthy and ma," he said. "I thought you'd like it." lavish old grandfather thought fit to provide. Amelia opened the case, and giving a little The coachman was instructed to purchase cry of delighted affection, seized the boy and for him the handsomest pony which could embraced him a hundred times. It was a be bought for money; and on this George miniature of himself, very prettily done was taught to ride, first at a riding school, (though not half handsome enough, we may whence, after he had performed satisfactori- be sure, the widow thought). His grandly without stirrups, and over the leaping-bar, father had wished to have a picture of him he was conducted through- the new road to by an artist whose works, exhibited in a shop Regent's Park, and then to Hyde Park, window, in Southampton-Row, had caught where he rode in state, with Martin the the old gentleman's eyes; and George, who coachman behind him. Old Osborne, who had plenty of money, bethought him of asktook matters more easily in the city now, ing the painter how much a copy of the where leaving his affairs to his junior part- little portrait would cost, for his mother, ners, he would often ride out with Miss saying he would pay foi' it out of his own O. in the same fashionable direction. As money, and that he wanted to give it to her. little George came cantering up with his The pleased painter executed the copy fora dandyfied air, and his heels down, his grand- small price; and old Osborne himself, when' father would nudge the lad's aunt, and say, he heard of the incident, growled out his "'Look, Miss 0." And he would laugh, and satisfaction, and gave the boy twice as many his face would grow red with pleasure, as sovereigns as lie paid for the miniature. he nodded out of the window to the boy, as But what was the grandfather's pleasure the groom saluted the carriage, and the foot- compared to Amelia's ecstacy? The proof man saluted Master George. Here, too, his of the boy's affection charmed her so, that aunt, Mrs. Frederic Bullock (whose chariot she thought no child in the world was like might daily be seen in the ring, with bull- hers for goodness. For long weeks after, ocks or emblazoned on the panels and har- the thought of his love made her happy ness, and three pasty-faced little Bullocks, She slept better with the picture under her covered with cockades and feathers, staring pillow; and how many times did she kiss it, from the windows) Mrs. Frederic Bull- and weep and pray over it! A small kindock, I say, flung glances of the bitterest ness from those she loved made that timid hatred at the little upstart as he rode by heart grateful. Since her parting with with his hand on his side and his hat on one George she had had no such joy and consoear, as proud as a lord. lation. Though he was scarcely eleven years of At his new home Master George ruled age, Master George wore straps and the like a lord. At dinner he invited the ladies most beautiful little boots, like a man. He to drink wine with the utmost coolness, and had gilt spurs, and a gold-headed whip, and took off his champagne in a way which a fine pin in his handkerchief; and the neat- charmed his old grandfather. "Look at est little kid gloves which Lamb's-Conduit- him," the old man would say, nudging his street could furnish. His mother had given neighbor with a delighted purple face, "did him a couple of neck-cloths, and carefully you ever see such a chap? Lord, Lord! hemmed and made some little shirts for him; he'll be ordering a dressing-case next, and but when her Samuel came to see the wid- razors to shave with; I'm blest if he won't." ow, they were replaced by much finer linen. The antics of the lad did not, however, He had little jeweled buttons in the lawn delight Mr. Osborne's friends so much as shirt-fionts. Her humble presents had been they pleased the old gentleman. It gave Mr. put aside-I believe Miss Osborne had given Justice Coffin no pleasure to hear Georgy them to the coachman's boy. Amelia tried cut into the conversation and spoil his stories. to think she was pleased at the change. In- Colonel Fogey was not interested in seeing deed, she was happy and charmed to see the the little boy half tipsy. Mr. Sergeant boy looking so beautiful. Toffy's lady felt no particular gratitude wheyn A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 271 with a twist of his elbow, he tilted a glass master to oysters after the play, and to a of port wine over her yellow satin, and glass of rum-shrub for a night-cap. We laughed at the disaster; nor was she better may be pretty certain that Mr. Rowson pleased, although old Osborne was highly profited, in his turn, by his young master's delighted, when Georgy "wopped" her third liberality and gratitude for the pleasures to boy (a young gentleman a year older than which the footman inducted him. Georgy, and by chance home, for the holi- A famous tailor from the West End of the days, from Dr.'Tickleus's at Ealing school) town-Mr. Osborne would have none of your in' Russell-square. George's grandfather city or Holborn bunglers, he said, for the gave the boy a couple of sovereigns for that boy (though a city tailor was good enough feat, and promised to reward him further for for him) —was summoned to ornament little every boy above his own size and age whom George's person, and was told to spare n(. he "wopped" in a similar manner. It is expense in so doing. So Mr. Woolsey, of difficult to say what good the old man saw in Conduit-street, gave a loose to his imagina these combats; he had a vague notion that tion, and sent the child home fancy trowsers, quarreling made boys hardy, and that tyran- fancy waistcoats, and fancy jackets enough ny was a useful accomplishment for them to to furnish a school of little dandies. Georgy learn. English youth have been so educated had little white waistcoats for evening partime out of mind, and we have hundreds of ties, and little cut velvet waistcoats for dinthousands of apologists and admirers of in- ners, and a dear little darling shawl dressingjustice, misery, and brutality, as perpetrated gown, for all the world like a little main. He among children. dressed for dinner every day, "like a regular Flushed with praise and victory over Mas- West End swell," as his grandfather reter Toffy, George wished naturally to pursue marked: one of the domestics was appointed his conquests further, and one day, as he to his especial service, attended him at his was strutting about in prodigiously dandified toilet, answered his bell, and brought him his new clothes, near St. Pancras, and a young letters always on a silver tray. baker's boy made sarcastic comments upon Georgy, after breakfast, would sit in the his appearance, the youthful patrician pulled arm-chair, in the dining-room, and read the off his dandy jacket with great spirit, and " Morning Post," just like a grown-up man. giving it in charge to the friend who accom- "How he du darn and swear," the servants panied him (Master Todd, of Great Coram- would cry, delighted at his precocity. Those street, Russell-square, son of the junior who remembered the captain, his father, partner of the house of Osborne and Co.), declared Master George was his pa, every George tried to wop the little baker. But inch of him. He made the house lively by the chances of war were unfavorable this his activity, his imperiousness, his scolding, time, and the little baker wopped Georgy; and his good-nature. who came home with a rueful black eye and George's education was confided to a neighall his fine shirt frill dabbled with the claret boring scholar and private pedagogue, who drawn from his own little nose. He told his "prepared young noblemen and gentlemen grandfather that he had been in combat with for the universities, the senate, and the a giant; and frightened his poor mother at learned professions: whose system did not Brompton with long, and by no means au- embrace the degrading corporal severities, thentic accounts of the battle. still practiced at the ancient places of educaThis young Todd, of Coratn-street, Rus- tion, and in whose family the pupils would sell-square, was Master George's great find the elegancies of refined society, and the friend and admirer. They both had a taste confidence and affection of a home." It was for painting theatrical characters; for hard in this way that the Reverend Lawrence bake and raspberry tarts; for sliding and Veal, of Hart-street, Bloomsbury, and doskating in the Regent's Park and the Ser- mestic chaplain to the Earl of Bareacres, pentine, when the weather permitted; for strove, with Mrs. Veal, his wife, to entice going to the play, whither they were often pupils. conducted, by Mr. Osborne's orders, by By thus advertising and publishing seduRowson, Master George's appointed body- lously, the domestic chaplain and his lady servant; with whom they sate in great com- generally succeeded in having one or two fort in the pit. scholars by them, who paid a high figure; In the company of this gentleman, they and were thought to be in uncommonly visited all the principal theaters in the me- comfortable quarters. There was a large tropolis-knew the names of all the actors West Indian, whom nobody came to see, firom Drury Lane to Sadler's Wells; and with a mahogany complexion, a woolly head, performed, indeed, many of the plays to the and an exceedingly dandified appearance: Todd family and their youthful friends, with there was another hulking boy of three-andWest's famous characters, on their paste- twenty, whose education had been neglected, board theater. Rowson, the footman, who and whom Mr. and Mrs. Veal were to inwas of a generous disposition, would not troduce into the polite world: there were unfrequently, when in cash, treat his young twvo sons of Colonel Bangles, of the East 272 VANITY FAIR. India Company's Service: these four sate gentlemen, had no reason, I will lay any down to dinner at Mrs. Veal's genteel board, wager, to complain of their repast. I mywhen Georgy was introduced to her estab- self' have been more than once so favored. lishment. (By the way, Master Osborne, you came a Georgy was, like some dozen other pupils, little late this morning, and have been a deonly a day boy: he arrived in the morning, faulter in this respect more than'once.) I under the guardianship of his friend Mr. myself, I say, gentlemen, humble as I am, Rowson, and if it was fine, would ride away have been found not unworthy to share Mr. in the afternoon on his pony, followed by the Osborne's elegant hospitality. And though groom. The wealth of his grandfather was I have feasted with the great and noble of reported in the school to be prodigious. The the world-for I presume that I may call Rev. Mr. Veal used to compliment Georgy my excellent friend and patron, the Right upon it personally, warning him that he was Honorable George Earl of Bareacres, as one destined for a high station; that it became of the number-yet I assure you, that the him to prepare, by sedulity and docility in board of the British merchant was to the full youth, for the lofty duties to which he would as richly served, and his reception as gratibe called in mature age; that obedience in fiying and noble.' Mr. Bluck, sir, we will the child was the best preparation for con- resume, if you please, that passage of Eutromand in the man; and that he therefore pius, which was interrupted by the late arbegged George would not bring toffy into the rival of Master Osborne.'" school, and ruin the health of the Masters To this great man George's education was Bangles, who had every thing they wanted for some time intrusted. Amelia was beat the elegant and abundant table of Mrs. wildered by his phrases, but thought him a Veal. prodigy of learning. That poor widow made With respect to learning, " the Curricu- friiends with Mrs. Veal, for reasons of her lum," as Mr. Veal loved to call it, was of own. She liked to be in the house, and see prodigious extent: and the young gentlemen Georgy coming to school there. She liked in Hart-street might learn a something of to be asked to Mrs. Veal's conversazioni, every known science. The Rev. Mr. Veal which took place once a month (as you were had an orrery, an electrifying machine, a informed on pink cards, with AOHNH enturning lathe, a theater (in the wash-house), graved on them), and where the professor a chemical apparatus, and, what he called a welcomed his pupils and their friends to select library of all the works of the best weak tea and scientific conversation. Poor authors of ancient and modern times and little Amelia never missed one of these enlanguages. He took the boys to the British tertainments, and thought them delicious so Museum, and descanted upon the antiquities long as she might have Georgy sitting by and the specimens of natural history there, her. And she would walk from Brompton so that audiences would gather round him as in any weather, and embrace Mrs. Veal he spoke, and all Bloomsbury highly admired with tearful gratitude for the delightful him as a prodigiously well informed man. evening she had passed,when, the company And whenever he spoke (which he did al- having retired and Georgy gone off with Mr most always), he took care to produce the Rowson, his attendant, poor Mrs. Osborne very finest and longest words of which the put on her cloaks and her shawls preparatovocabulary gave him the use; rightly judging, ry to walking home. that it was as cheap to employ a handsome, As for the learning which Georgy imbiblarge, and sonorous epithet, as to use a little ed under this voluble master of a hundred stingy one. sciences, to judge friom the weekly reports Thus he would say to George in school, which the lad took home to his grandfather, ",61 observed, on my return home from taking his progress was remarkable. The names the indulgence of an evening's scientific con- of a score or more of desirable branches versation with my excellent friend Doctor of knowledge were printed on a table, and Bulders-a true archmologian, gentlemen, a the pupil's progress in each was marked by true archbeologian-that the windows of your the professor. In Greek Georgy was provenerated grandfather's almost princely man- nounced aristos, in Latin optimus, in French sion in Lussell-square were illuminated as if tres bien, and so forth; and every body had for the purposes of festivity. Am I right in prizes for every thing at the end of the year. my conjecture, that Mr. Osborne entertained Even Mr. Swartz, the woolly-headed young a society of chosen spirits round his sumptu- gentleman, and half-brother to the Honoraous board last night?" ble Mrs. Mac Mull, and Mr. Bluck the negLittle Georgy, who had considerable hu- lected young pupil of three and twenty from mor, and used to mimic Mr. Veal to his face the agricultural districts, and that idle young with great spirit and dexterity, would reply, scapegrace of a Master Todd before menthat Mr. V. was quite correct in his sur- tioned, received little eighteen-penny books, mise. with "Athene" engraved;n them, and a "Then those fiiends who had the honor pompous Latin inscription fromn the profes. of partaking of Mr. Osborne's hospitality, sor to his young fiiiends. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 273 The family of this Master Todd were usual: and would smile when George came hangers-on of the house of Osborne. The down late for breakfast. old gentleman had advanced Todd from be- Miss Osborne, George's aunt, was a mising a clerk to be a junior partner in his es- erable old spinster, broken down by more tablishment. than forty years of dullness and coarse Mr. Osborne was the godfather of young usage. It was easy for a lad of spirit to Master Todd (who in subsequent life wrote master her. And whenever George wanted Mr. Obihorne Todd on his cards, and became any thing from her, from the jam-pots in her a man of decided fashion) while Miss Os- cupboards to the cracked and dry old colors borne had accompanied Miss Maria Todd to in her paint-box (the old paint-box which the font, and gave her protege e a prayer- she had had when she was a pupil of Mr. book, a collection of tracts, a volume of very Smee, and was still almost young and low church poetry, or some such memento blooming), Georgy took possession of the of her goodness every year. Miss O. drove object of his desire, which obtained, he took the Todds out in her carriage now and no further notice of his aunt. then: when they were ill, her footman, in For his friends and cronies he had a large plush smalls and waistcoat, brought pompous old schoolmaster, who flattered jellies and delicacies from Russell-square him, and a toady, his senior, whom he could to (Coram-street. Coram-street trembled thrash. It was dear Mrs. Todd's delight to and looked up to Russell-square indeed; leave him with her youngest daughter, Rosa and Mrs. Todd, who had a pretty hand at Jemima, a darling child of eight years old. cuttinu, out paper trimmings for haunches The little pair looked so well together, she of -v'.ton, and could make flowers, ducks, would say (but not to the folks in' the &,.. out of turnips and carrots in a very Square,' we may be sure),-" Who knows crad;;alle manner, would go to " the what might happen? Don't they make a Squa'e," as it was called, and assist in the pretty little couple?" the fond mother prepa.rations incident to a great dinner, thought. without even so much as thinking of sitting The broken spirited old maternal granddown to the banquet. If any guest failed father was likewise subject to the little tyat the eleventh hour Todd was asked to rant. He could not help respecting a lad dine. Mrs. Todd and Maria came across who had such fine clothes, and rode with a in the evening, slipped in with a muffled groom behind him. Georgy on his side, knock, and were in the drawing-room by was in the constant habit of hearing coarse the time Miss Osborne and the ladies under abuse and vulgar satire leveled at John Sedher convoy reached that apartment; and ley by his pitiless old enemy, Mr. Osborne. ready to fire off duets and sing until the gen- Osborne used to call the other the old pautlemen came up. Poor Maria Todd; poor per, the old coal-man, the old bankrupt, and young lady! aow she had to work and by many other such names of brutal conthrum at these duets and sonatas in the tumely. Hlow was little George to respect Street, before they appeared in public in a man so prostrate? A few months after the Square! he was with his paternal grandfather, Mrs. Thus it seemed to be decreed by fate, Sedley died. There had been little love bethat Georgy was to domineer over every tween her and the child. He did not care body with whom he came in contact, and to show much grief. He came down to that fiiends, relatives, and domestics were visit his mother in a fine new suit of mournall to bow the knee before the little fellow. ing, and was very angry that he could not It must be owned that he accommnodated go to a play upon which he had set his himself very willingly to this arrangement. heart. Most people do so. And Georgy liked to The illness of that old lady had been the play the part of master, and perhaps had a occupation, and perhaps the safeguard of natural aptitude for it. Amelia. What do men know about womIn Russell-square every body was afraid en's mrnartyrdoms? We should go mad had of Mr. Osborne, and Mr. Osborne was afraid we to endure the hundredth part of those of Georgy. The boy's dashing manners, daily pains which are meekly borne by many and off-hand rattle about books and learning, women. Ceaseless slavery meeting with.his likeness to his father (dead unreconciled no reward; constant gentleness and kindness in Brussels yonder), awed the old gentle- met by cruelty as constant; love, labor, paman, and gave the young boy the mastery. tience, watchfulness, without even so much The old man would start at some hereditary as the acknowledgment of a good word; feature or tone unconsciously used by the all this, how many of them have to tlear in little lad, and fancy that Georgy's father quiet, and appear abroad with cheerful faces, was again before him. He tried by indul- as if they felt nothing. Tender slaves that gence to the grandson to make up for harsh- they are, they must needs be hypocrites and ness to the elder George. People were weak. surprised at his gentleness to the boy. He From her chair Amelia's mother had growled and swore at Miss Osborne as taken to her bed, which she had never left; 274 VANITY FAIR. and from which Mrs. Osborne herself was isumed its habitual expression of bland cournever absent except when she ran to see tesy, as he said, "Master Osborne, I give George. The old lady grudged her even you full permission to go and see your carthose rare visits: she, who had been a kind, riage friends-to whom I beg you to consmiling, good-natured mother once, in the vey the respectful compliments of myself days of her prosperity, but whom poverty and Mrs. Veal." and infirmities had broken down. Her ill- Georgy went into the reception-room, and ness or estrangement did not affect Amelia. saw two strangers, whom he looked at with They rather enabled her to support the his head up, in his usual haughty manner. other calamity under which she was suffer- One was fat, with mustaches, and the other ing, and from the thoughts of which she was lean and long, in a blue fiock-coat, with was kept by the ceaseless calls of the invalid. a brown face, and a grizzled head. Amelia bore her harshness quite gently: "My God, how like he is!" said the long smoothed the uneasy pillow; was always gentleman, with a start. "Can you guess ready with a soft answer to the watchful, who we are, George?" querulous voice; soothed the sufferer with The boy's face flushed up, as it did usually words of hope, such as her pious, simple when he was moved, and his eyes brightenheart could best feel and utter, and closed ed. ".I don't know the other," he- said, the eyes that had once looked so tenderly "but I should think you must be Major upon her. Dobbin." Then all her time and tenderness were Indeed it was our old friend. His voice devoted to the consolation and comfort of the trembled with pleasure as he greeted the bereaved old father, who was stunned by boy, and taking both the other's hands in the blow which had befallen him., and stood his own, drew the lad to him. utterly alone in the world. His wife, his "Your mother has talked to you about honor, his fortune, every thing he loved best me —has she?" he said. had fallen away firom him. There was "That she has," Georgy answered, "hunonly Amelia to stand by and support with dreds and hundreds of times." her gentle arms the tottering, heart-broken, old man. We are not going to write the history; it would be too dreary and stupid. I can see Vanity Fair yawning over it: d'avance. CHAPTER LVII. One day as the young gentlemen were as- EOTHEN. sembled in the study at the Rev. Mr. Veal's, IT was one of the many causes iorpei and the domestic chaplain to the Right Hon- sonal pride with which old Osborne chose orable the Earl of Bareacres was spouting to recreate himself, that Sedley, his anaway as usual-a smart carriage drove up cient rival, enemy, and benefactor, was in to the door decorated with the statue of his last days so utterly defeated and humiliAthene, and two gentlemen' stepped out. ated, as to be forced to accept pecuniary The young Masters Bangles rushed to the obligations at the hands of the man xwho window, with a vague notion that their father had most injured and insulted him. The might have arrived from Bombay. The successful man of the world cursed the old great hulking scholar of three-and-twenty, pauper, and relieved him from time to time. who was crying secretly over a passage of As he furnished George with money for his Eutropius, flattened his- neglected nose mother, he gave the boy to understand by against the panes, and looked at the drag, as hints, delivered in his brutal, coarse way, the laquais de place sprang from the box that George's maternal grandfather was but and let out the persons in the carriage. a wretched old bankrupt and dependent; " It's a fat one and a thin one," Mr. Bluck and that John Sedley might thank the man said, as a thundering knock came to the door. to whom he already owed ever so much Every body was interested, from the do- money, for the aid which his generosity mestic chaplain himself, who hoped that he now chose to administer. George carried saw the fathers of some future pupils, down the pompous supplies to his mother and the to Master Georgy, glad of any p:etext for shattered old widower whom it was now laying his book down. the main business of her life to tend and The boy in the shabby livery, with the comfort. The little fellow patronized the faded copper-buttons, who always thrust feeble and disappointed old man. himself into the tight coat to open the door, It may have shown a want of' proper came into the study and said, "Two gentle- pride" in Amelia that she chose to accept men want to see Master Osborne." The these money benefits at the hands of her Professor had had a trifling altercation in father's enemy. But proper pride and this the niorning with that young gentleman, poor lady had never had much acquaintance owing to a difference about the introduction together. A disposition naturally simple and of crackers in school-time; but his face re- demanding protection; a long course of A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 275 poverty and humility, or daily privations, halfp'orth of kindness act upon her, and and hard words, of kind offices and no re- bring tears into her eyes, as though you turns, had been her lot ever since woman- were an angel benefiting her. hood almost, or since her luckless marriage Some such boons as these were the best with George Osborne. You who see your which Fortune allotted to poor little Amelia. betters, bearing up under this shame every Her life, begun not unprosperously, had day, nmeekly suffering under the slights of come down to this-to a mean prison and a fortune, gentle and unpitied, poor, and rather long, ignoble bondage. Little George visitdespised for their poverty-do you ever ed her captivity sometimes, and consoled it step down from your prosperity and wash with feeble gleams of encouragement. Rusthe feet of these poor wearied beggars? sell-square was the boundary of her prison: The very thought of them is odious and she might walk thither occasionally, but was low. " There must be classes-there must always back to sleep in her cell at night; be rich and poor," Dives says, smacking his to perform cheerless duties; to watch by claret-A'it is well if he even sends the thankless sick-beds; to suffer the harassbroken meat to Lazarus sitting under the ment and tyranny of querulous, disappointed window. Very true; but think how mys- old age. How many thousands of people terious and often unaccountable it is'-lthat are there, women for the most part, who lottery of life which gives to this man the are doomed to endure this long slavery? purple and fine linen, and sends to the other who are hospital-nurses without wages. rags for garments and dogs for comfort- Sisters of Charity, if you like, without the ers. romance and the sentiment of sacrifice-'So I must own, that without much re- who strive, fast, watch, and suffer, unpitied; pining, on the contrary with something akin and fade away ignobly and unknown. The to gratitude, Amelia took the crumbs that hidden and awful Wisdom which apportions her father-in-law let drop now and then, the destinies of mankind, is pleased so to and with them fed her own parent. Direct- humiliate and cast down the tender, good, ly she understood it to be her duty, it was and wise; and to set up the selfish, the this young woman's nature (ladies, she is foolish, or the wicked. Oh, be humble, my but thirty still, and we choose to call her a brother, in your prosperity! Be gentle young woman even at that age)-it was, I with those who are less lucky, if not more say, her nature to sacrifice herself, and to deserving. Think, what right have you to fling all that she had at the feet of the be- be scornful, whose virtue is a deficiency of loved object. During what long, thankless temptation, whose success may be a chance, nights had she worked out her fingers for whose rank may be an ancestor's accident, little Georgy while at home with her; what whose prosperity is very likely a satire. buffets, scorns, privations, poverties had she They buried Amelia's mother at the endured for father and mother! And in the churchyard at Brompton; upon just such a midst of all these solitary resignations and dark, rainy day as Amelia recollected when unseen sacrifices, she did not respect her- first she had been there to marry George. self any more than the world respected her; Her little boy sate by her side in pompous but I believe thought in her heart that she new sables. She remeembered the old pewwas a poor-spirited, despicable little creat- woman and clerk. Her thoughts were ure whose luck in life was only too good away in other times as the parson read, for her merits. O you poor women! O But that she held George's hand in her own, you poor secret martyrs and victims, whose perhaps she would -have liked to change life is torture, who are stretched on racks in places with... Then, as usual, she felt your bedrooms, and who lay your heads ashamed- of her selfish thoughts, and praydown on the block daily at the drawing- ed inwardly to be strengthened to do her room table; every man who watches your duty. pains, or peers into those dark places where So she determined with all her might and the torture is administered to you, must pity strength to try to make her old father happy. you-and-and thank God that he has a She slaved, toiled, patched, and mended, beard. I recollect seeing years ago, at the sang and played backgammon, read out the prison for idiots and madmen at Bicetre, newspaper, cooked dishes for old Sedley, near Paris, a poor wretch bent down un- walked him out sedulously into Kensington der the bondage\ of his imprisonment and Gardens or the Bronmpton Lanes, listened his personal infirmity, to whom one of our to his stories with untiring smiles and affec party gave a halfpernnyworth of snuff in a tionate hypocrisy, or sate musing by his cornet or " screw" of paper. The kindness side and communing with her own thoughts was too much for the poor epileptic creature. and reminiscences, as the old man, feeble He cried in an anguish of delight and grati- and querulous, sunned himself on the garden tude: if any body gave you and me a thou- benches and prattled about his wrongs sand a year, or saved our lives, we could or his sorrows. What sad, unsatisfactory not be so affected. And so, if you properly thoughts thosoe of the widow were! The tyrannize over a woman, you will find a children running up and down the slopes and 276 VANITY FAIR. broad paths in the gardens, reminded her of Here as the poor fellow lay tossing in his George who was taken fiom her: the first fever, the people who watched him might George was taken fiom her: her selfish, have heard him raving about Amelia. The guilty love, in both instances, had been re- idea that he should never see her again debuked and bitterly chastised. She strove pressed him in his lucid hours. He thought to think it was right that she should be his last day was come; and he made his so punished. She was such a miserable, solemn preparations for departure: setting ~wicked sinner. She was quite alone in the his affairs in this world in order, and leaving world. the little property of which he was possessI know that the account of this kind of ed to those whom he most desired to benefitsolitary imprisonment is unsufferably tedious, The friend in whose house he was located unless there is some cheerful or humorous witnessed his testament. He desired to be incident to enliven it-a tender jailer, for buried with a little brown hair chain which instance, or a waggish commandant of the he wore round his neck, and which, if the fortress, or a mouse to come out and play truth must be known, he had got fiom Ameabout Latude's beard and whiskers, or a lia's maid at Brussels, when the young widsubterranean passage under the castle, dug ow's hair was cut off, during the fever which by Trenck with his nails and a toothpick: prostrated her after the death of George the historian has no such enlivening inci- Osborne on the plateau of Mount St. John. dents to relate in the narrative of Amelia's He recovered, rallied, relapsed again, hav-, captivity. Fancy her, if you please, during ing undergone such a process of blood-letting this period, very sad, but always ready to and calomel as showed the strength of his smile when spoken to-in a very mean, original constitution. He was almost a skelpoor, not to say vulgar position of life-sing- eton when they put him on board the Raming songs, making puddings, playing cards, chunder, East Indiaman, Captain Bragg, mending stockings, for her father's benefit. fiom Calcutta touching at Madras; and so So, never mind, whether she be a heroine weak and prostrate, that his fiiend who or no; or you and I, however old, scolding, had tended him through his illness, propheand bankrupt —may we have in our last sied that the honest major would never surdays a kind, soft shoulder. on which to lean, vive the voyage, and that he would pass and a gentle hand to soothe our gouty old some morning, shrouded in a flag and hampillows. mock, over the ship's side, and carrying Old, Sedley grew very fond of his daugh- down to the sea with him the relic that he ter after his wife's death; and Amelia had were at his heart. But whether it was the her consolation in doing her duty by the old sea air, or the hope which sprung up in him man. afresh, from the day that the ship spread But we are not going to leave these two her canvas and stood out of the roads topeople long in such a low and ungenteel ward home, our friend began to amend, and station of life. Better days, as far as world- he was quite well (though as gaunt as a ly prosperity went, were in store for both. grayhound) before they reached the Cape. Perhaps the ingenious reader has guessed "Kirk will be disappointed of his majority who Was the stout gentleman who called this time," he said with a smile; "he will upon Georgy at his school, in company expect to find himself gazetted by the time with our old friend Major Dobbin. It was the regiment reaches home." For it must another old acquaintance returned to En- be premised that while the major was lying gland, and at a time when his presence ill at Madras, having made such a prodigious was likely to be of great comfort to his haste to go thither, the gallant -th, which relatives there. had passed many years abroad, which after Major Dobbin having easily succeeded in its return fiom the West Indies had been getting leave from his good-natured com- balked of its stay at home by the Waterloo mandant to proceed to Madras, and thence campaign, and had been ordered fiom Flanprobably to Europe, on urgent private affairs, ders to India, had received orders home, never ceased traveling night and day until and the major might have accompanied his he reached his journey's end, and had di- comrades, had he chosen to wait for their rected his march with such celerity, that he arrival at Madras. arrived at Madras in a high fever. His ser- Perhaps he was not inclined to put himvants who accompanied him, brought him to self in his exhausted state again under the the house of the friend with whom he had guardianship of Glorvina. "'I think Miss resolved to stay until his departure.f or O'Dowd would have done for me," he said, Europe in a state of delirium; and it was laughingly, to a fellow-passenger, "if we thought for many days that he would never had had her on board, and when she had travel farther than the burying-ground of sunk me, she would have fallen upon you, the church of St. George's, where the troops depend upon it, and carried you in as a prize should fire a salvo over his grave, and where to Southampton, Jos, my boy." many a gallant officer lies far away from his For indeed it was no other than our stout home. friend who was also a passenger on board A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 277 [he Ramchunder. He passed ten years in missionary; but, for common readyhg, he Bengal. Constant dinners, tiffins, pale ale had brought a stock of novels and plays and claret, the prodigious labors of cutcher- which he lent to the rest of the ship, and ry, and the refreshment of brandy-pawnee rendered himself agreeable to all by his kindwhich hewas forced to take there, had their ness and condescension. effect upon Waterloo Sedley. A voyage to Many and many a night, as the ship was Europe was pronounced necessary for him- cutting through the roaring dark sea, the and having served his full time in India, and moon and stars shining over head, and the had fine appointments which had enabled bell singing out the watch, Mr. Sedley and him to lay by a considerable sum of money, the major would sit on the quarter-deck of he was free to come home and stay with a the vessel talking about home, as the major good pension, or to return and resume that smoked his cheroot, and the civilian puffed rank in his service to which his seniority and at the hookah which his servant prepared for his vast talents entitled him. him. He was rather thinner than when we last In these conversations it was wonderful saw him, but had gained in majesty and so- with what perseverance and ingenuity LMalemnity of demeanor. He had resumed the jor Dobbin would manage to bring the talk mustaches to which his services at Water- round to the subject of Amelia and her little loo entitled him, and swaggered about on boy. Jos, a little testy about his father's misdeck in a magnificent velvet cap with a gold fortunes and unceremonious applications to band, and a profuse ornamentation of pins him, was soothed down by the major, who and jewelry about his person. He took pointed out the elder's ill fortunes and old breakfast in his cabin, and dressed as sol- age. He would not perhaps like to live emnly to appear on the quarter deck, as if with the old couple, whose ways and hour~ he was going to turn out for Bond-street, or might not agree with those of a younger the Course at Calcutta. He brought a na- maln, accustomed to different society (Jos tive servant with him, who was his valet and bowed at this compliment): but, the major pipe-bearer; and who wore the Sedley crest pointed outo how advantageous it would be in silver on his turban. That oriental me- for Jos Sedley to have a house of his own in nial had a wretched life under the tyranny London, and not a mere bachelor's establishof Jos Sedley. Jos was as vain of his per- ment as before; how his sister Amelia would son as a woman, and took as long a time at be the very person to preside over it; how his toilet as any fading beauty. The young- elegant, how gentle she was, and of what ster among the passengers, young Chaffers refined good manners. He recounted stories of the 150th, and poor little Ricketts, coming of the success which Mrs. George Osborne home after his third fever, used to draw out had had in former days at Brussels, and in Sedley at the cuddy-table, and make him London, where she was much admired by tell prodigious stories about himself and his people of very great fashion: and then he exploits against tigers and Napoleon. He hinted how becoming it would be:for Jos to was great when he visited the emperor's send Georgy to a good school and make a tomb at Longwood, when to these gentle- man of him; for his mother and her parents men and the young officers of the ship, Ma- would be sure to spoil him. In a word this jor Dobbin not being by, he described the artful major made the civilian promise to whole battle of Waterloo, and all but an- take charge of Amelia and her unprotected nounced that Napoleon never would have child. gone to St. Helena at all but for him, Jos He did not know as yet what events had Sedley. happened in the little Sedley family; and After leaving St. Helena he became very how death had removed the mother, and generous, disposing of a great quantity of ship riches had carried off George firom Amelia. stores, claret, preserved meats, and great But the fact is, that every day and always, casks packed with soda-water, brought out for this love-smitten and middle-aged gentlehis private delectation. There were no ladies man was thinking about Mrs. Osboi'ne, and on board; the major gave the pas of prece- his whole heart was bent upon doing her dency to the civilian, so that he was the first good. He coaxed, wheedled, cajoled, and dignitary at table; and treated by Captain complimented Jos Sedley with a perseverBragg, and the officers of the Ramchunder, ance and cordiality of which he was not with the respect which his rank warranted. aware himself, very likely: but some men He disappeared rather in a panic during a who have unmarried sisters or daughters two-days' gale, in which he had the portholes even, may remember how uncommonly of his cabin battened down; and remained agreeable gentleman are to the male relain his cot reading the Washerwoman. of | tions when they are courting the females; Finchley Common, left on board the Ram- and perhaps this rogue of a Dobbin was chunder by the Right Honorable the Lady urged by a similiar hypocrisy. Emily Hornblower, wife of the Rev. Silas The truth is, when Major Dobbin came Hornblower, then on her passage out to the on board the Ramrchunder, very sick, and Cape, where the reverend gentleman was a: for the three days she lay in the Madras 27T8 - VANITY FAIR. Roadsthe did not begin to rally, nor did even the appearance and recognition of his CHAPTER LVIII. old acquaintance, Mr. Sedley, on board O FRIEND THE MAJOa. much cheer him, until after a conversation which they had one day, as the major was OuR major had rendered himself so populaid languidly on the deck. He said then he lar on board the Ramchunder, that when he thought he was doomed; he had left a little and Mr. Sedley descended into the wel-'something to his godson in his will; and he come shore-boat which was to take thenm trusted Mrs. Osborne would remember him from the ship, the whole crew, men and kindly, and be happy in the marriage she officers, the great Captain Bragg himself' was about to make.' Married? not the leading off, gave three cheers for Major least," Jos answered; he had heard fiom Dobbin, who blushed very much, and ducked her; she made no mention of the marriage: his head in token of thanks. Jos, who very and, by the way, it was curious, she wrote likely thought the cheers were for himself, to say that Major Dobbin was going to be took off his gold-laced cap, and waved it married, and hoped that he would be hap- majestically to his friends, and they were py." What were the dates of Sedley's pulled to shore and landed with great dig letters from Europe? The civilian fetched nity at the pier, whence they proceeded to them. They were two months later than the Royal George Hotel. the major's; and the ship's surgeon con- Although the sight of that magnificent gratulated himself upon the treatment round of beef, and the silver tankard sugadopted by him toward his new patient, gestive of real British home-brewed ale and who had been consigned to ship-board by porter, that perennially greet the eyes of the Madras practitioner with very small the traveler returning fiom foreign parts, hopes indeed; for, from that day, the very who enters the coftfee-room of the George, day that he changed the draught, Major are so invigorating and delightful, that a man Dobbin- began to mend. And thus it was entering such a comfortable snug homely that deserving officer, Captain Kirk, was dis- English inn, might well like to stop some appointed of his majority. days there, yet Dobbin began to talk about After they passed St. Helena, Major Dob- a post-chaise instantly, and was no sooner bin's gayety. and strength were such as to at Southampton than he wished to be on astonish all his fellow-passengers. He larked the road to London. Jos, however, would with the midshipmen, played single-stick not hear of moving that evening. Why with the mates, ran up the shrouds like a was he to pass a night in a post-chaise inboy, sang a comic song one night, to the stead of a great, large undulating downy amusement of the whole party assembled feather-bed, which was there ready to reover their grog after supper, and rendered place the horrid little narrow crib in which himself so gay, lively, and amiable, that even the portly Bengal gentleman had been conCaptain Bragg, who thought there was noth- fined during the voyage? He could not ing in his passenger, and considered he was think of moving till his baggage was cleared, a poor-spirted fellow at first, was constrain- or of traveling until he could do so with his ed to own that the major was a reserved but chillum. So the major was forced to wait well-informed and meritorious officer. "He over that night, and dispatched a letter to ain't got distange manners, damme," Bragg his family announcing his arrival; entreating observed to his first mate; l"he wouldn't do from Jos a promise to write to hi's own at Government House, Roper, where his friends. Jos promised, but didn't keep his lordship and Lady William was as kind to promise. The captain, the surgeon, and me, and shook hands with me before the one or two passengers came and dined with whole company, and asking me at dinner to our two gentlemen at the inn: Jos exelting take beer with him before the commander- himself in a sumptuous way in ordering in-chief himself; he ain't got manners, but the dinner; and promising to go to town there's something about him-." In which the next day with the major. The landlord opinion Captain Bragg showed that he pos- said it did his eyes good to see Mr. Sedley sessed discrimination as a man, as well as take off his first pint of porter. If I had ability as a commander. time, and dared to enter into digressions, I But a calm taking place when the Ram- would write a chapter about that first pint chunder was within ten days' sail of En- of porter drunk upon English ground. Ah, gland, Dobbin became so impatient and ill- how good it is! It is worth while to leave humored as to surprise those comrades who home for a year, just to enjoy that one had before admired his vivacity and good draught. temper. He did not recover until the Major Dobbin made his appearance the breeze sprang up again, and was in a next morning very neatly shaved and dresshighly excited state when the pilot came ed, according to his wont. Indeed, it was on board. Good God, how his heart beat so early in the morning, that nobody was up as the two fiiendly spires of Southampton in the house except that wonderful Boots came in sight! of an inn, who never seems to want sleep: _lil _ll~l iii~l ii I I ~ I JII ii~~~~~~~L __ _ _ __ _ _ Nl __ _ _ _ _ _ ii~ ~~~A JOSEOALAA 7 A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 279 and the major could hear the snores of the through it. Well, Major Dobbin passed various inmates of the house roaring through over all this through friom Southampton to the corridors as he creaked about in those London, and without noting much beyond dim passages. Then the sleepless Boots the mile-stones along the road. iVou see he went shirking round frim door to door, was so eager to see his parents at Cambergathering up at each the Bluchers, Welling- well. tons, Oxonians, which stood outside. Then He grudged the time lost between PiccaJos's native servant arose and began to get dilly and his old haunt at the Slaughter's, ready his master's ponderous'dressing appa- whither he drove faithfully. Ten years ratus, and prepare his hookah: then the had passed since he saw it last, since he and maid servants got up, and meeting the dark George, as young men, had enjoyed many a man in the passages shrieked and mistook feast, and held many a revel there. He had him for the devil. He and Dobbin stumbled now passed into the stage of old-fellow-hood. over their pails in the passages as they were His hair was grizzled, and many a passion scouring the decks of the Royal George. and feeling of his youth had grown gray in When the first unshorn waiter appeared that interval. There, however, stood the and unbarred the door of the inn, the major old waiter at the. door in the same greasy thought that the time for departure was black suit, with the same double chin and arrived, and ordered a post-chaise to be flaccid face, with the same huge bunch of fetched instantly, that they might set off. seals at his fob, rattling his money in his He then directed his steps to Mr.. Sed- pockets as before, and receiving the major ley's room, and opened the curtains of the as if he had gone away only a week ago. great large family bed wherein Mr. Jos " Put the major's things in twenty-three, was, snoring. "Come, up! Sedley," the that's his room," John said, exhibiting not major said, "it's time to be off; the chaise the least surprise.'" Roast fowl for your will be at the door in half an hour." dinner, I suppose. You ain't got married ~ Jos growled fiom under the counterpane They said you was married-the Scotch to know what the time was; but when he surgeon of yours was here. No, it was at last extorted from the blushing major Captain Humby of the thirty-third, as was (who never told fibs, however much they quartered with the -th in Injee. Like any might be to his advantage) what was the warm water? What do you come in a real hour of the morning, he broke out into chay for, ain't the coach good enough?" a volley of bad language, which we will not And with this, the faithful waiter, who knew repeat here, but by which he gave Dobbin and remembered every officer who used the to understand that he would jeopardize his house, and with whom ten years were but soul if he got up at that moment, that the as yesterday, led the way up to Dobbin's major might go and be hanged, that he old room, where stood the great moreen would not travel with Dobbin, and that it bed, and the shabby carpet, a thought more was most unkind and ungentleman-like to dingy, and all the old black furniture covered disturb a man out of his sleep in that way: with faded chintz, just as the major recolon which the discomfited major was obliged lected them in his youth. to retreat, leaving Jos to resume his inter- He remembered George pacing up and rupted slumbers. down the room, and biting his nails, and The chaise came up presently, and the swearing that the Governor must come major would wait no longer. round, and that if he didn't, he didn't care a If he had been an English nobleman straw, on the day before he was married. traveling on a pleasure tour: or a news- He could fancy him walking in, banging the paper courier, bearing dispatches (govern- door of Dobbin's room, and his own hard mnent messages are generally carried much bymore quietly), he could not have traveled You ain't got young," John said, calmly more quickly. The post boys wondered at surveying his friend of former days. the fees he flung among them. How happy Dobbin laughed. " Ten years and a fever and green the country looked as the chaise don't make a man young, John," he said..whirled rapidly from mile-stone to mile- "It is you that are always young:-No, you stone, through neat country towns where are always old." landlords came out to welcome him with "V that became of Captain Osborne's smiles and bows; by pretty road-side inns, widow," John said. "Fine young fellow where the signs hung on the elms, and that. Lord how he used to spend his money. horses and wagoners were drinking under He never came back after that day he was the checkered shadow of the trees; by old: married from here. He owes me three halls and parks; rustic hamlets clustered pound at this minute. Look here, I have it round ancient gray churches-and through in my book. April 10, 1815, Captain Osthe charming friendly English landscape. | borne, JC3. I wonder whether his father Is there any in the world like it? To a would pay me," and so saying, John of the traveler returning home it looks &o kind-it Slaughter's pulled ooit the very morocco seems to shake hands with you as you pass pocket-book in which he had noted his loan 986t; VANITY FAIR. to the captain, upon a gTeasy, faded page calling out " Ma, Pa!" with all her voice, still extant, with many other scrawled mem- brought up those worthy people, who had oranda regarding the bygone frequenters of already been surveying the major firom the the house. basement of the ornamental kitchen, and Having inducted his customer into the were astonished to find their daughter in the room, John retired with perfect calmness; little passage in the embrace of a great tall and Major Dobbin, not without a blush and man in a blue frock coat and white duck a grin at his own absurdity, chose out of his trowsers. kit the very smartest and most becoming "I'm an old friend," he said —not without civil costume he possessed, and laughed at blushing, though. " Don't you remember his own tanned face and gray hair as he sur- me, Mrs. Clapp, and those good cakes you veyed them in the dreary little toilet-glass used to make for tea?-Don't you recollect on the dressing table. me, Clapp? I'm George's godfather, and," I'm glad old John didn't forget me," he just come back fiom India?" A great shakthought. " She'll know me too, I hope." ing of hands ensued-Mrs. Clapp was greatAnd he sallied out of the inn, bending his ly affected and delighted; she called upon steps once more in the direction of Brompton. heaven to interpose a vast many times in Every minute incident of his last meeting that passage. with Amelia was present to the constant The landlord and landlady of the house man's mind as he walked toward her house. led the worthy major into the Sedleys' room The arch and the Achilles statue were up (whereof he remembered every single artisince he had last been in Piccadilly; a hun- cle of furniture, from the old brass ornadred changes had occurred which his eye mented piano, once a natty little instrument, and mind vaguely noted. He began to trem- Stothard maker, to the screens and the ble as he walked up the lane from Bromp- alabaster miniature-tombstone, in the midst ton, that well remembered lane leading to of which ticked Mr. Sedley's gold watch), the street where she lived. Was she going and there, as he sat down in the lodger's to be married or not? If he were to meet vacant arm-chair, the father, the mother, her with the little boy-Good God, what and the daughter, with a thousand ejaculashould he do? He saw a woman coming to tory breaks in the narrative, informed Major him with a child of five years old-was that Dobbin of what we know allready, but of she? He began to shake at the mere pos- particulars in Amelia's history of which he sibility. WThen he came up to the row of was not aware —namely, of Mrs. Sedley's houses, at last, where she lived, and to the death, of George's reconcilement with his gate, he caught hold of it and paused. He grandfather, Osborne, of the way in which might have heard the thumping of his own the widow took on at leaving him, and of heart. "MIay God Almighty bless her, other particulars of her life. Twice or whatever has happened," he thought to him- thrice he was going to ask about the marself. "' Psha! she may be gone from here," riage-portion, but his heart failed him. He he said, and went in through the gate. did not care to lay it bare to these people. The window of the parlor which she used Finally, he was informed that Mrs. 0. was to occupy was open, and there were no in- gone to walk with her pa in Kensington mates in the room. The major thought he Gardens, whither she always went with the recognized the piano, though, with the pic- old gentleman (who was very weak and ture over it, as it used to be in former days, peevish now, and led her a sad life, though and his perturbations were renewed. Mr.. she behaved to him like an angel, to be sure) Clapp's brass plate was still on the door; at of a fine afternoon after dinner. the knocker of which Dobbin performed a " I'm very much pressed for time," the summons. major said, "and have business to-night of A buxom-looking lass of sixteen, with importance. I should like to see Mrs. Osbright eyes and purple cheeks, came to an- borne, though. Suppose Miss Polly would swer the knock, and looked hard at the ma- come with me and show me the way." jor as he leaned back against the little porch. Miss Polly was charmed and astonished at He was pale as a ghost, and could hardly this proposal. " She knew the way. She falter out the words —" does Mrs. Osborne would show Major Dobbin. She had often live here?" been with Mr. Sedley when Mrs. 0. was She looked him hard in the face for a gone-was gone Russell-square way: and moment-and then turning white too-said knew the bench where he liked to sit." She "Lord bless me-it's Major Dobbin." She bounced away to her apartment, and apheld out both her hands shaking —" Don't peared presently in her best bonnet and her you remember me?" she said, " I used to mamma's yellow shawl, and large pebble call you Major Sugarplums. On which, and brooch, of which she assumed the loan, in I believe it was for the first timne that he order to make herself a worthy companion ever so conducted himself in his life, the ma- for the major. jor took the girl in his arms and kissed her. That officer, then, in his blue frock-coat Sche began to laugh and cry hysterically, and buckskin gloves, gave the young lady his ~~~~~~t,., L.. r —<~~7~V ~r / 1 =~L~;l(f7m i - -d ~' —.. ~i'~., ~~~~~~~~~F K. iii! ~'~Z~~.~ ~b;":..1~ ~~~r1C4 IGL~ A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 281 arm, and they walked away very gayly. He the reverend gentleman's marriage; his head was glad to have a friend at hand for the was swimmingwith felicity. After this renscene, which he dreaded somehow. He counter he began to walk double quick toward asked a thousand more questions friom his the place of his destination; and yet they companion about Amelia: his kind heart were too soon (for he was in a great tremor grieved to think that she should have had to at the idea of a meeting for which he had part with her son. How did she bear it? been longing any time these ten years)Did she see him often? Was Mr. Sedley through the Brompton lanes, and entering at pretty comfortable now, in a worldly point the little old portal in Kensington Garden of view? Polly answered all these ques- wall. tions of Major Sugarplums to the very best " There they are," said Miss Polly, and of her power. she felt him again start back on her arm. And in the midst of their walk an incident She was a confidante at once of the whole occurred, which, though very simple in its business. She knew the story as well as if nature, was productive of the greatest delight she had read it in one of her favorite novelto Major Dobbin. A pale young man, with books-" Fatherless Fanny," or the " Scotfeeble whiskers and a stiff white neckcloth, tish Chiefs." came walking down the lane, en sandwich: "Suppose you were to run on and tell having a lady, that is, on each arm. One her," the major said. Polly ran forward, was a tall and commanding middle-aged fe- her yellow shawl streaming in the breeze. male, with features and a complexion simi- Old Sedley was seated on a bench, his lar to those of the clergyman of the Church handkerchief placed over his knees, prattling of England by whose side she mnarched, and away according to his wont, with some old the other a stunted little woman, with a dark story about old times, to which Amelia had face, ornamented by a fine new bonnet and listened, and awarded a patient smile many white ribbons, and in a smart pelisse, with a a time before. She could of late think of rich gold watch in the midst of her person. her own affairs, and smile, or make other The gentleman, pinioned as he was by these marks of recognition of her father's stories, two ladies, carried further a parasol, shawl, without scarcely hearing a word of the old and basket, so that his arms were entirely man's tales. As Mary came bouncing along, engaged, and, of course, he was unable to and Amelia caught sight of her, she started touch his hat in acknowledgment of the cour- up from her bench. Her first thought was, tesy with which Miss Mary Clapp greeted that something had happened to Georgy; him. but the sight of the messenger's eager and He meekly bowed hishead in reply to her happy face dissipated that fear in the timorsalutation, which the two ladies returned in ous mother's bosom. a patronizing air, and, at the same time, look- "News! news!" cried the emissary of ing severely at the individual in the blue coat Major Dobbin. "He's come! he's come!" and bamboo cane, who accompanied Miss "\ho's come?" said Emmy, still thinking Polly. of her son.;" Who's that?" asked the major, amused "Look there!" answered Miss Clapp, by the group, and after he had made way turning round and pointing; in which direcfor the three to pass up the lane. Mary tion Amelia, looking, saw Dobbin's lean-figure looked at him rather roguishly. and long shadow stalking across the grass. " That is our curate, the Reverend Mr. Amelia started in her turn, blushed up, and, Binny (a twitch from Major Dobbin), and of course, began to cry. At all this simple his sister, Miss B. Lord bless us, how she little creature's fetes, the grandes eaux wero did use to worret us at Sunday-school; and accustomed to play. the other lady-the little one, with a cast in He looked at her-oh, how fondly-as her eye, and the handsome watch, is Mrs. she came running toward him, her hands Binney-Miss Grits that was; her pa was a before her, ready to give them to him. She grocer, and kept the Little Original Gold wasn't changed. She was a little pale: a Tea Pot in Kensington Gravel Pits. They little stouter in figure. HPer eyes were the were married last month, and are just come same —the kind, trustful eyes. There were back from Margate. She's five thousand scarce three lines of silver in her soft, brown pound to her fortune; but her and Miss B., hair. She gave him both her hands as she who made the match, have quarreled al- looked up, flushing and smiling through her ready." tears, into his honest homely face. He took If the major had twitched before, he the two little hands between his two, and started now, and slapped the bamboo on the held them there. He was speechless for a ground with an emphasis which made Miss moment. Why did he not take her in his Clapp cry, "Law," and laugh, too. He arnls, and swear that he would never leave stood for a moment silent, with open mouth, her? She must have yielded: she could not looking after the retreating young couple, but have obeyed him. while Miss Mary told their history; but he " I —I've another arrival to announce," he did not hear beyond the announcement of said, after a pause, 282 VANITY FAIR. "Mrs. Dobbin?" Amelia said, making a encouraged it, and looked exceedinglyroguish movement back. Why didn't he speak? as she administered to him cup after cup. It'" No,' he said, letting her hands go: is true, she did not know -that the major had "Who has told you those lies? I mean, had no dinner, and that the cloth was laid your brother Jos came in the same ship with for him at the Slaughter's, and a plate laid me, and is come home to make you all hap- thereon to mark that the table was retained, py!" in that very box in which the major and "Papa, papa!" Emmy cried out, "here George had sate many a time calousing, are news! My brother is in England. He when she was a child just come home from is come to take care of you. Here is Major Miss Pinkerton's school. Dobbin." The first thing Mrs. Osborne showed the Mr. Sedley started up, shaking a great major was Georgy's miniature, for which she deal, and gathering up his thoughts. Then ran up stairs on her arrival at home. It was he stepped forward and made an old-fash- not half handsome enough, of course, for the ioned bow to the major, whom he called Mr. boy, but wasn't it noble of him to think of Dobbin, and hoped his worthy father, Sir bringing it to his mother? While her papa William, was quite well. He proposed to was awake she did not talk much about call upon Sir William, who had done him Georgy. To hear about Mr. Osborne and the honor of a visit a short time ago. Sir Russell-square was not agreeable to the old William had not called upon the old gentle- man, who very likely was unconscious that man for eight years; itwas that visit he was he had been living for some months past thinking of returning. mainly on the bounty of his richer rival; and " He is very much shaken," Emmywhis- lost his temper, if allusion was made to the pered, as Dobbin went up and cordially shook other. hands with the old man. Dobbin told him all, and a little more perAlthough he had such particular business haps than all, that had happened on board in London that evening, the major consented the Ramchunder; and exaggerated Jos's beto forego it upon Mr. Sedley's invitation to nevolent dispositions toward his father, and him to come home and partake of tea. Ame- resolution to make him comfortable in his old lia put her arm under that of her young days. The truth is, that, during the voyfriend with the yellow shawl, and headed age, the major had impressed this duty most the party on their return homeward, so that strongly upon his fellow-passenger, and exMr. Sedley fell to Dobbin's share. The old torted promises from him that he would take man walked very slowly, and told a number charge of his sister and her child. He of ancient histories about himself and his soothed Jos's irritation with regard to the poor Bessy, his former prosperity, and his bills which the old gentleman had drawn bankruptcy. His thoughts, as is usual with upon him, gave a laughing account of his failing old men, were quite in former times. own sufferings on the same score, and of the The past, with the exception of the one famous consignment of wine with which the catastrophe which he felt, he knew little old man had favored him: and brought Mr. about. The major was glad to let him talk Jos, who was by no means an ill-natured peron. His eyes were fixed upon the figure in son when well pleased and moderately flatfront of him —the dear little figure-always tered, to a very good state of feeling regardpresent to his imagination and in his prayers, ing his relatives in Europe. and visiting his dreams, wakeful or slumber- And in fine I am ashamed to say that the ing. major stretched the truth so far as to tell old Amelia was very happy, smiling, and ac- Mr. Sedley that it was mainly a desire to see tive all that eyening; performing her duties his parent which brought Jos once more to as hostess of the little entertainment with Europe. the utmost grace and propriety, as Dobbin At his accustomed hour, Mr. Sedley began thought. His eyes followed her about as to doze in his chair, and then it was Amre they sate in the twilight. How many a time lia's opportunity to commence her conversahad he longed for that moment, and thought tion, which she did with great eagerness; it of her far away,.under hot winds and weary related exclusively to Georgy. She did not marches, gentle and happy, kindly minister- talk at all about her own sufferings at breaking to the wants of old age, and decorating ing from him, for, indeed, this worthy wompoverty with sweet submission-as he saw an, though she was half-killed by the separher now. I do not say that his taste was the ation from the child, yet thought it was very highest, or that it is the duty of great intel- wicked in her to repine at losing him; but lectstobecontentwithabread-and-butterpar- every thing concerning him, his virtues taladise, such as sufficed our simple old friend; ents, and prospects, she poured out. She but his desires were of this sort, whether described his angelic beauty; narrated a hunfor good or bad; and, with Amelia to help dled instances of his generosity and greatness him, he was as ready to drink as many cups of mind while living with her: how a royal of tea as Doctor Johnson. duchess had stopped and admired him in Amelia seeing this propensity, laughingly Kensington Gardens; how splendidly he was A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 283 cared for now, and how he had a groom and always have been to me! See! papa is a pony; what quickness and Cleverness he stirring. You will go and see Georgy tohad, and what a prodigiously well-read and morrow, won't you?" delightful person the Reverend Lawrence " Not to-morrow," said poor old Dobbin. Veal was, George's master. "He knows "I have business." every thing," Amelia said. "He has the He did not like to own that he had not as most delightful parties. You who are so yet been to his parents and his dear sister learned, yourself, and have read so much, Anne-a remissness for which I am sure and are so clever and accomplished-don't every well-regulated person will blame the shake your head and say no.-He always major. And presently he took his leave, used to say you were-you will be charmed leaving his address behind him for Jos, with Mr. Veal's parties. The last Tuesday against the latter's arrival. And so the first in every month. He says there is no place day was over, and he had seen her. in the bar or the senate that Georgy may When he got back to the Slaughter's, the not aspire to. Look here," and she went roast fowl was of course cold, in which conto the piano-drawer and drew out a theme dition he ate it for supper. of Georgy's composition. This great effort Knowing what early hours his family of genius, which is still in the possession of kept, and that it would be needless to disturb George's mother, is as follows: their slumbers at so late an hour, it is on record, that Major Dobbin treated himself to On Selfishness. —Of all the vices which half-price at the Haymarket Theater that degrade the human character, selfishness is evening, where let us hope he enjoyed himthe most odious and contemptible. An un- self. due love of self leads to the most monstrous crimes, and occasions the greatest misfortunes both in states and families. As a selfish man will impoverish his family and often CHAPTER LIX. bring them to ruin; so a selfish king brings ruin on his people and often plunges them into war. THE major's visit left old John Sedley in Example: The selfishness of Achilles, as a great state of agitation and excitement. remarked by the poet Homer, occasioned a His daughter could not induce him to settle thousand woes to the Greeks —/uvpi''Axaoit' down to his customary occupations or amuse-,e2yes' Odmer-(1Hom. 11. A. 2). The selfish- ments that night. He passed the evening ness of the late Napoleon Bonaparte occa- fumbling among his boxes and desks, untying sioned innumerable wars in Europe, and his papers with trembling hands, and sorting caused him to perish, himself, in a miserable and arranging them against Jos's arrival. island-that of Saint Helena in the Atlantic He had them in th e greatest order —his Ocean. tapes and his files, his receipts, and his letWe see by these examples that we are ters with lawyers and correspondents; the not to consult our own interest and ambition, documents relative to the Wine Project but that we are to consider the interests of (which failed from a most unaccountable acothers as well as our own. cident, after commencing with the most GEORGE S. OSBORNE. splendid prospects), the Coal Project (which Atheni House, 24 April, 1827. only a want of capital prevented from becoming the most successful scheme ever put' Think of him writing such a hand, and before the public), the Patent Saw-mills and quoting Greek, too, at his age," the delighted Sawdust Consolidation Project, &c., &c. mother said. "Oh William," she added, All night, until a very late hour, he passed holding out her hand to the major —" what in the preparation of these documents, trema treasure Heaven has given me in that boy! bling about from one room to another, with He is the comfoxt of my life-and he is the a quivering candle and shaky hands. "Here's image of-of him that's gone." the wine papers, here's the sawdust, here's 1"1Ought I to be angry with her for being the coals; here's my letters to Calcutta and faithful to him?" William thought. "Ought Madras, and replies from Major Dobbin, C. I to be jealous of my friend in the grave, or B., and Mr. Joseph Osborne to the same. hurt that such a heart as Amelia's can love He shall find no irregularity about me, Emonly once and forever? Oh, George, George, my," the old gentleman said. how little you knew the prize you had, Emmy smiled. "I don't think Jos will though." care about seeing those papers, papa," she This sentiment passed.rapidly through said. WTilliam's mind, as he was holding Amelia's " You don't know any thing about busihand, while the handkerchief was vailing ness, my dear," answered the sire, shaking her eyes. his head with an important air. And it must "Dear fiiend," she said, pressing the hand be confessed, that on this point Emmy was which held hers, "fhow good, how kind you very ignorant, and that is a pity, some people 284 VANITY FAIR are so knowing. All these twopenny docu- size and dignity took at least a day, part of ments arranged on a side table, old Sedley which he employed in hiring a servant to cove-led them carefully over with a clean wait upon him and his native; and in inbandanna handkerchief (one out of Major structing the agent who cleared his baggage, Dobbin's lot), and enjoined the maid and his boxes, his books, which he never read; landlady of the house, in the most solemn his chests of mangoes, chutney, and currieway, not to disturb those papers, which were powders; his shawls for presents to people arranged for the arrival of Mr. Joseph Sed- whom he didn't know-as yet; and the rest ley the next morning-" Mr. Joseph Sedley, of his Persicos apparatus. of the Honorable East India Company's At length, he drove leisurely to London Bengal Civil Service." on the third day, and in the new waistcoat. Amelia found him up very early the next The native, with chattering teeth, shuddermorning, more eager, more hectic, and more ing in a shawl on the box by the side of the shaky than ever. "'I didn't sleep much, -new European servant; Jos puffing his pipe Emmy, my dear," he said. " I was think- at intervals, within, and looking so majestic, ing of my poor Bessy. I wish she was alive, that little boys cried "hooray," and many to ride in Jos's carriage once again. She people thought he must be a governor-genkept her own, and became it very well." eral. He, I promise, did not decline the And his eyes filled with tears, which trickled obsequious invitations of the landlords to down his furrowed old face. Amelia wiped alight and refresh himself in the neat coun them away, and smilingly kissed him, and try towns. Having partaken of a copious tied the old man's neckcloth in a smart bow, breakfast, with fish, and rice, and hard eggs, and put his brooch into his best shirt frill, in at Southampton, he had so far rallied at which, in his Sunday suit of mourning, he Winchester as to think a glass of sherry sat fiom six o'clock in the morning, awaiting necessary. At Alton he stepped out of his the arrival of his son. carriage, at his servant's request, and imbibed There are some splendid tailors' shops in some of the ale for which the place is famous. the High-street of Southampton, in the fine At Farnham he stopped to view the bishop's plate-glass windows of which hung gorgeous castle, and to partake of a light dinner of waistcoats of all sorts, of silk and velvet, and stewed eels, veal cutlets, and French beans, gold and crimson, and pictures of the last with a bottle of claret. He was cold over new fashions, in which those wonderful gen- Bagshot Heath, where the native chattered tlernen with quizzing glasses, and holding on more and more, and Jos Sahib took some to little boys with the exceeding large eyes brandy-and-water; in fact, when he drove and curly hair, ogle ladies, in riding habits, into town, he was as full of wine, beer, meat, prancing by the statue of Achilles at Apsley pickles, cherry-brandy, and tobacco, as the House. Jos, although provided with some steward's cabin of a steam-packet. It was of the most splendid vests that Calcutta could evening when his carriage thundered up to furnish, thought he could not go to town un- the little door in Brompton, whither the aftil he was supplied with one or two of these fectionate fellow drove first, and before hieing garments, and selected a crimson satin, erm- to the apartments secured for him by Mr. broidered with gold butterflies, and a black Dobbin at the Slaughter's. and red velvet'tartan with white stripes and All the faces in the street were in the a rolling collar, with which, and a rich blue windows; the little maid-servant flew to satin stock, and a gold pin, consisting of a the wicket-gate, the Mesdames Clapp looked five-barred gate with a horseman in pink out from the casement of the ornamented enamel jumping over it, he thought he might kitchen; Emmy, in a great flutter, was in make his entry into London with some dig- the passage among the hats and coats, and nity. For Jos's former shyness and blhin- old Sedley in the parlor inside, shaking all dering, blushing timidity had given way to a over. Jos descended from the post-chaise more candid and courageous self-assertion and down the creaking, swaying steps in awof his worth. " I don't care about owning ful state, supported by the new valet from it," Waterloo Sedley would- say to his Southampton and the shuddering native, friends, "I am a dressy man." And though whose brown face was now livid with cold, rather uneasy if the ladies looked at him at and of the color of a turkey's gizzard. He the Government House balls, and though he created an immense sensation in the passage blushed and turned away alarmed under presently, where Mrs. and Miss Clapp, their glances, it was chiefly from a dread lest coming perhaps to listen at the parlor door, they should make love to him, that he avoid- found Loll Jewab shaking upon the halled them, being averse to marriage altogether. bench under the coats, moaning in a strange, But there was no such swell in Calcutta as piteous way, and showing his yellow eyeballs Waterloo Sedley, I have heard say; and he and white teeth. had the handsomest turn-out, gave the best For, you see, we have adroitly shut the bachelor dinners, and had the finest plate in door upon the meeting between Jos and the the whole place. old father, and the poor little gentle sister To make these waistcoats for a man of his inside.' The old man was very much af A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 285 fected: so, of course, was his daughter: nor friend, and her own and George's most kind was Jos without feeling. In that long ab- and affectionate guardian; that she loved sence of ten years, the most selfish will think him as a brother-but that a woman who about home and early ties. Distance sane- had been married to such an angel as that, tifies both. Long brooding over those lost and she pointed to the wall, could never pleasures exaggerates their charm and think of any other union. Poor Polly sighsweetness. Jos was unaffectedly glad to see ed: she thought what she should do if young and shake the hand of his father, between Mr. Tomkins, at the surgery, who always whom and himself there had been a cool- looked at her so at church, and who, by ness-glad to see his little sister, whom he those mere aggressive glances had put her remembered so pretty and smiling, and pain- timorous little heart into such a flutter that ed at the alteration which time, grief, and she was ready to surrender at once —what misfortune had made in the shattered old she should do if he were to die? She knew man. Emmy had come out to the door in he was consumptive, his cheeks were so in her black clothes and whispered to him of red, and he was so uncommon thin in the her mother's death, and not to speak of it to waist. their father. There was no need of this Not that Emmy, being made aware of caution, for the elder Sedley himself began the honest major's passion, rebuffed him in immediately to speak of the event, and prat- any way, or felt displeased with him. Such tled about it, and wept over it plenteously. an attachment fiom so true and loyal a genIt shocked the Indian not a little, and made tleman could make no woman angry. Deshim think of himself less than the poor fel- demona was not angry with Cassio, though low was accustomed to do. there is very little doubt she saw the lieuThe result of the interview must have tenant's partiality for her (and 1 for my part been very satisfactory, for when Jos had believe that many more things took place in reascended his post-chaise, and had driven that sad affair than the worthy Moorish ofaway to his hotel, Emmy embraced her ficer ever knew of): whys Miranda was father tenderly, appealing to him with an even very kind to Caliban, and we may air of triumph, and asking the old man be pretty sure for the samne reason. Nolt whether she did not always say that her that she would encourage him in the least, brother had a good heart? the poor uncouth monster, of course not, No more would Emmy by any means enIndeed, Jos Sedley, affected by the hum- courage her admirer, the major. She would ble position in which he found his relations, give him that friendly 1egard, which so much and in the expansiveness and overflowing excellfnce and fidelity merited; she would of heart occasioned by the first meeting, de- treat him with perfect cordiality and frankclared that they should never suffer want or ness until he made his proposals; and then discomfort any more, that he was at home it would be time enough for her to speak, for some time at any rate, du'ing which his and to put an end to hopes which never house and every thing he had should bh could be realized. theirs; and that Amelia would look very She slept, therefore, very soundly that pretty at the head of his table-until she evening, after the conversation with Miss would accept one of her own. Polly, and was more than ordinarily happy, She shook her head sadly, and had, as in spite of Jos's delaying. "I am glad he is usual, recourse to the water-works. She not going to many that Miss O'Dowd," she knew what he meant. She and her young thought. \" Colonel O'Dowd never could confidante, Miss Maiy, had talked over the have a sister fit for such an accomplished matter most fully, the very night of the ma- man as Major William." Who was there jor's visit; beyond which time the impetu- among her little circle, who would make him ous Polly could not refrain from talking of a good wife? Not Miss Binney, she was the discovery which she had made, and de- too old and ill-tempered; Miss Osborne? scribing the start and tremor of joy by which too old, too. Little Polly was too young. Major Dobbin betrayed himself when Mr. Mrs. Osborne could not find any body to suit Binney passed with his bride, and the ima- the major before she went to sleep. jor learned that he had no longer a rival to However, when the postman made his fear. " Didn't you see how he shook all appearance, the little party were put out of over when you asked if he was married, suspense, by the receipt of a letter fi'om Jos and he said,'Who told you those lies?' O to his sister, who announced, that he felt a ma'am," Polly said, " he never kept his eyes little fatigued after. his voyage, and should off you; and I'm sure he's grown gray a not be able to move on that day, but that he thinking of you." would leave Southampton early the next But Amelia, looking up at her bed, over morning, and be with his father and mother which hung the portraits of her husband and at evening. Amelia as she read out the letson, told her young protgege, never, never, ter to her father, paused over the latter to speak on that subject again; that Major words; her brother, it was clear, did not Dobbin' had been her husband's dearest know what had happened in the family. 286 VANITY FAIR. Nor could he; for the factis that though the Acre: and a pair of handsome horses were major i'ightly suspected that his traveling jobbed, with which Jos drove about in state companion never would be got into motion in the park, or to call upon his Indian friends. in so short a space as twenty-four hours, Amelia was not seldom by his side on these and would find some excuse for delaying, excursions, when also Major Dobbin would yet Dobbin had not written to Jos to be seen in the back seat of the carriage. At inform him of the calamity which had be- other times old Sedley and his daughter fallen the Sedley family: being occupied in took advantage of it; and Miss Clapp, who talking with Amelia until long after post- frequently accompanied her friend, had great hour. pleasure in being recognized as she sate ir The same morning brought Major Dobbin the carriage, dressed in the famous yellow a letter to the Slaughter's Coffee House shawl, by the young gentleman at the fiom his fiiend at Southampton; begging surgery, whose face might commlonly be dear Dob to excuse Jos for being in a rage seen over the window-blinds as she passwhen awakened the day before (he had a ed. confounded head-ache, and was just in his Shortly after Jos's first appearance at first sleep), and entreating Dob to engage Brompton, a dismal scene, indeed, took place comfortable rooms at the Slaughter's for Mr. at that humble cottage, at which the Sedleys Sedley and his servants. The major had had passed the last ten years of their life. become necessary to Jos during the voyage. Jos's carriage (the temporary one, not the He was attached to him, and hung upon him. chariot under construction) arrived one day The other passengers were away to Lon- and carried off old Sedley and his daughter — don. Young Ricketts and little Chaffers to return no more. The tears that were shed went away on the coach that day-Ricketts by the landlady and the landlady's daughter at on the box, and taking the reins firom Bot- that event were as-genuine tears of sorrow as ley; the doctor was off to his family at Port- any that have been outpoured in the course sea; Bragg gone to town to his co-paltners; of this history. In their long acquaintanceand the first mate busy in the unloading of the ship and intimacy they could not recall a Ramchunder. MIt. Jos was very lonely at harsh word that had been uttered by AmeSouthampton, and got the landlord of the lia. She had been all sweetness and kindGeorge to take a glass of wine with him that ness, always thankful, always gentle, even day; at the very hour at which Major Dob- when Mrs. Clapp lost her own temper, and bin was seated at the table of his father, Sir pressed for the rent. NVhen the kind creature William, where his sister found out (for it was going away for good and all, the ]andwas impossible for the major to tell fibs) lady reproached herself bitterly for ever havthat he had been to see Mrs. George Os- ing used a rough expression to her-how borne. she wept, as they stuck up with wafers on the window a paper notifying that the little Jos was so comfortably situated in Saint rooms so long occupied were to let! They Martin's Lane, he could enjoy his hookah never would have such lodgers again, that there with such perfect ease, and could was quite clear. After-life proved the truth swagger down to the theaters, when mind- of this melancholy prophecy: and Mrs. ed, so agreeably, that, perhaps, he would Clapp revenged herself for the deterioration have remained altogether at the Slaughter's of mankind by levying the most savage had not his' friend, the major, been at his el- contributions upon the tea-caddies and legs bow. That gentleman would not let the of mutton of her locataires. Most of them Bengalee rest until he executed his promise scolded and grumbled: some of them did of having a home for Amelia and his father. not pay: none of them staid. The landlady Jos was a soft fellow in any body's hands; might well regret those old, old friends, who Dobbin most active in any body's concerns had left her. but his own; the civilian was, therefore, an As for Miss Mary, her sorrow at Amelia's easy victim to the guileless arts of this good- departure was such as I shall not attempt natured diplomatist, and was ready to do, to to depict. From childhood upward she had purchase, hire, or relinquish whatever his been with her daily, and had attached her fiiend thought fit. Loll Jewab, of whom self so passionately to that dear, good lady, the boys about Saint Martin's-lane used to that when the grand barouche came to carry make cruel fun whenever he showed his her off into splendor, she fainted in the dusky countenance in the street, was sent arms of her friend, who was indeed scarcely back to Calcutta in the Lady Kicklebury less affected than the good-natured girl, East Indiaman, in which Sir William Dob- Amelia loved her like a daughter. During bin had a share; having previously taught eleven years the girl had been her constant Jos's European the art of preparing curries, fiiend and associate. The separation was pilaws, and pipes. It was a matter of great a very painful one indeed to her. But it was delight and occupation to Jos to superintend of course arranged that Mary was to come the building of a smart chariot, which he and and stay often at the grand new house whith the major ordered in the neighboring Long er Mrs. Osborne was going; and where A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERIO. 287 Mary was sure she would never be so hap- ttin.. them the old piano. Amelia would py as she had been in their humble cot; have it,'- her sitting room, a neat little Miss Clapp called it in the language of the apartment on the second floor, adjoining her novels which she loved. father's chamber: and where the old genLet us hope she was wrong in her judg- man sate commonly of evenings. ment.,Poor Emmy's days of happiness had When the men appeared, then, bearing been very few in that humble cot. A gloo- this old music-box, and Amelia gave orders my fate had oppressed her there. She that it should be placed in the chamber never liked to come back to the house after aforesaid, Dobbin was quite elated.' I'm she had left it, or to face the landlady who glad you've kept it," he said in a very senhad tyrannized over her when ill-humored timental manner. " I was afraid you didn't and unpaid; or when pleased had treated her care about it." with a coarse familiarity scarcely less odious. " I value it more than any thing I have in Her servility and fulsome compliments when the world," said Amelia. Emmy was in prosperity were not more to " Do you, Amelia?" cried the major. that lady's liking. She cast about notes of The fact was, as he had bought it himself, admiration all over the new house, extolling though he never said any thing about it, it every article of furniture or ornament; she never entered into his liead to suppose that fingered Mrs. Osborne's dresses, and calcu- Emmy should think any body else was the lated their price. Nothing could be too purchaser, and as a matter of course, he fangood for that sweet lady, she vowed and cied that she knew the gift came from him. protested. Butin the vulgar sycophant who "Do you, Amelia?" he said; and the now paid court to her, Emmy always re- question, the great question of all, was membered the coarse tyrant who had made trembling on his lips, when Emmy repliedher miserable many a time: to whomn she " Can I do otherwise? —did not he give had been forced to put up petitions for time, it me?" when the rent was overdue; who cried out 1' I did not know," said poor old Dob, and at her extravagance if she bought delicacies his countenance fell. for her ailing mother or father; who had Emmy did not note the circumstance at seen her humble, and tramnpled upon her. the time, nor take immediate heed of the Nobody ever heard of these griefs, which very dismal expression which honest Dobhad been part of our poor little woman's lot bin's countenance assumed; but she thought in life. She kept them secret from her of it afterward. And then it struck her, father, whose improvidence was the cause of with inexpressible pain and mortification too, much of her misery. She had to bear all the that it was William who was the giver of blame of his misdoings, and indeed was so the piano; and not George, as she had fanutterly gentle and humble as to be made by cied. It was not George's gift; the only nature for a victim. one which she had received from her lover, I hope she is not to suffer much more of as she thought-the thing she had cherished that hard usage. And, as in all griefs, there beyond all others-her dearest relic and is said to be some consolation, I may men- prize. She had spoken to it about George; tion that poor Mary, when left at her friend's played his favorite airs upon it; sate for departure in a hysterical condition, was long evening hours, touching, to the best of placed under the medical treatment of the her simple art, melancholy harmonies on the young fellow from the surgery, under whose keys, and weeping over them in silence. It care she rallied after a short period. Ermmy, was not George's relic. It was valueless when she went away from Brompton, endow- now. The next time that old Sedley asked ed Mary with every article of furniture that her to play, she said it was shockingly out the house contained: only taking away her of tune, that she had a headache, that she pictures (the two pictures over the bed) and couldn't play. her piano-that little old piano which had Then, according to her custom, she renow passed into a plaintive jingling old age, buked herself for her pettishness and ingratbut which she loved for reasons of her own. itude, and determined to make a reparation She was a child when first she played on it: to honest William for the slight she had and her parents gave it her. It had been not expressed to him, but had felt for his given to her again since, as the reader may piano. A few days afterward, as they were remember, when her father's house was seated in the drawing-room, where Jos had gone to ruin, and the instrument was recov- fallen asleep with great comfort after dinner, ered out of the wreck. Amelia said, with rather a faltering voice, to Major Dobbin was exceedingly pleased Major Dobbinwhen, as he was superintending the at-,;I have to beg your pardon for some rangements of Jos's new house, which the thing." major insisted should be very handsome and "About what?" said he. comfortable, the cart arrived from Bromp- "About-about that little square piano. ton, bringing the trunks and band-boxes of I never thanked you for it when you gave th.e emigrants from that village, and with it ale; many, many years ago, before I wva -288 VANITY FAIR. married. I thought somebody else had CHAPTER LX. given it. Thank you, William." She held out her hand; but the poor little woman's RETURNS TO THE GENTEEL WORLD. heart was bleeding; and as for her eyes, of GooD fortune now begins to smile upon course they were at their work. Amelia. We are glad to get her out of But William Dobbin could hold no more, that low sphere in which she has been "Amelia, Amelia," he said, "I did buy it' creeping hitherto, and introduce her into a for you. I loved you then as I do now. I polite circle; not so grand and refined as that must tell you. I think Iloved you fiom the in which our other female fiiend, Mrs. first minute that I saw you, when George Becky, has appeared, but still having no brought me to your house, to show me the small pretensions to gentility and fashion. Amelia whom he was engaged to. You Jos's fiiends were all from the three presiwere but a girl in white, with large ringlets; dencies, and his new house was in the comyou came down singing-do you remember? fortable Anglo-Indian district of which Moira — and we went to Vauxhall. Since then, Place is the center. Minto-square, Great I have thought of but one woman in the Clive-street, Warren-street, Hastings-street, world, and that Was you. I think there is Ochterlony Place, Plassy-square, Assaye no hour of the day has passed for twelve Terrace, (" Gardens" was a felicitous word years that I haven't thought of you. I not applied to stucco houses with asphalte came to tell you this before I went to In- terraces in friont, so early as 1827)-who dia, but you did not care, and I hadn't the does not know these respectable abodes of heart to speak. You did not care whether the retired Indian aristocracy, and the quarI staid or went." ter which Mr. Wenham calls the Black " I Was very ungrateful," Amelia said. Hole, in a word? Jos's position in life was "No; only Indifferent," Dobbin contin- not grand enough to entitle him to a house ued, desperately. " I have nothing to make in Moira Place, where none can live but rea woman be otherwise. I know what you tired Members of Council, and partners of are feeling now. You are hurt in your Indian firms (who break after having settled heart at that discovery about the piano; and a hundred thousand pounds on their wives, that it calne firom me and not fiom George. and retire into comparative penury to a I forgot, or I should never have spoken of country place and four thousand a year): it so. It is' for me to ask your pardon for he engaged a comfortable house of a second being a fool for a moment, and thinking that or third-rate order in Gillespie street, puryears of constancy and devotion might have chasing the carpets, costly mirrors, and pleaded with you." handsome and appropriate planned furniture "it is you who are cruel now," Amelia by Seddons, from the assignees of Mr. said, with some spirit. "George is my Scape, lately admitted partner into the great husband, here and in heaven. How could I Calcutta house of Fogle, Fake, and Crackslove any other but him? I am his now as man, in which poor Scape had embarked when you first saw me, dear William. It seventy thousand pounds, the earnings of a was he who told me how good and generous long and honorable life, taking Fake's place,. you were, and who taught me to love you who retired to a princely park in'Sussex, as a brother. Have you not been every (the Fogies have been long out of the firm, thing to me and my boy? Our dearest, and Sir Horace Fogle is about to be raised truest. kindest friend and protector? Had to the peerage as Baron Bandanna) —admityou come a few months sooner, perhaps you ted, I say, partner into the great agency might have spared me that —that dreadful house of Fogle and Fake two years before parting. Oh, it nearly killed me, William- it failed for a million, and plunged half the but you didn't come, though I wished and Indian public into misery and'ruin. prayed for you to come, and they took him Scape, ruined, honest, and broken-hearted too away from me. Isn't he a noble boy, at sixty-five years of age, went out to CalWilliam? Be his friend still and mine" —- cutta to wind up the affairs of the house. and here her voice broke, and she hid her Walter Scape was withdrawn from Eton face on his shoulder. and put into a merchant's house. Florence The major folded his arms round her, Scape, Fanny Scape, and their mother holding her to him as if she was a child, faded away to Boulogne, and will be heard and kissed her head. " I will not change, of no more. To be brief, Jos stepped in dear Amelia," he said. "I ask for no and bought their carpets and sideboards, and more than your love. I think I would not admired himself in the mirrors which had have it otherwise. Only let me stay near reflected their kind, handsome faces. The you, and see you often." Scape tradesmtren, all honorably paid, left "Yes, often," Amelia said. And so Wil- their cards, and were eager to supply the liam was at liberty to look and long: as the new household. The large men in white poor boy at school who has no money may waistcoats, who waited at Scape's dinners, sigh after the contents of the tart-woman's green-grocers, bank-porters, and milkmen in tray. their private capacity, left their addresses, A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 289 and irgratiated themselves with the butler. and the boy declining to go into the pit beMr. Chummy, the chimney-purifier, whohad cause it was vulgar, the major took him to swept the last three families, tried to coax the boxes, left him there, and went down the butler and the boy under him, whose himself to the pit. He had not been seated duty it was to go out, covered with buttons there very long, before he felt an arm thrust and with stripes down his trowsers, for the under his, and a dandy little hand in a kid protection of Mrs. Amelia whenever she glove squeezing his aimn. George had seen chose to walk abroad. the absurdity of his ways, and come down It was a modest establishment. The but- from the upper region. A tender laugh of ler was Jos's valet also, and never was more benevolence lighted up old Dobbin's face drunk than a butler in a small family should and eyes as he looked at the repentant be who has a proper regard for his master's little prodigal. He loved the boy, as he did wine. Emmy was supplied with a maid, every thing that belonged to Amelia. How grown on Sir Williaml Dobbin's suburban charmed she was when she heard of this estate: a good girl, whose kindness and hu- instance of George's goodness! Her eyes mility disarmed Mrs. Osborne, who was at looked more kindly on Dobbin than -they first terrified at the idea of having a servant ever had done. She blushed, he thought, to wait upon herself, who did not in the after looking at him so. least know how to use one, and who always Georgy never tired of his praises of the spoke to domestics with the most reveren- major to his mother. " I like him, mamma, tial politeness. But this maid was very because he knows such lots of things; and useful in the family, in dexterously tending lhe ain't like old Veal, who is always bragold Mr. Sedley, who kept almost entirely to ging and using such long words, don't you his own quarter of the house, and never know? The chaps call him'Longtail' at mixed in any of the gay doings which took school. I gave him the name; ain't it capiplace there. tal? But Dob reads Latin like English, and Numbers of people came to see Mrs. Os- French, and that; and when we go out toborne. Lady Dobbin and her daughters gether he tells me stories about my papa, were delighted at her change of fortune, and never about himself; though I heard and waited upon her.. Miss Osborne from Colonel Buckler, at grandpapa's, say that he Russell-square came in her grand chariot was one of the bravest officers in the army, with the flaming hammercloth emblazoned and had distinguished himself ever so much. with the Leeds arms. Jos was reported to Grandpapa was quite surprised, and said, be immensely rich. Old Osborne had no'That feller! why I didn't think he could objection that Georgy should inherit his say Bo to a goose;' but Iknow he could, uncle's properlty as well as his own. "Damn couldn't he, mamma?" it, we will make a man of the feller," he Emmy laughed; she thought it was very said; "and I'll see him in parliament before likely the major could do thus much. I die. You may go and see his mothei', If there was a sincere liking between Miss O., though I'll never set eyes on her:" George and the major, it must be confessed and Miss Osborne came. Emmy, you may that between the boy and his uncle no great be sure, was very glad to see her, and so be love existed. George had got a way of brought nearer to George. That young blowing out his cheeks, and putting his fellow was allowed to come much more fire- hands in his waistcoat pockets, and saying, quently than before to visit his mother. He " God bless my soul, you don't say so," so dined once or twice a week in Gillespie- exactly after the fashion of old Jos, that it street, and bullied the servants and his rela- was impossible to restrain from laughter. tions there, just as he did in Russell-square. The servants would explode at dinner, if the He was always respectful to Major Dob- lad, asking for something which wasn't at bin, however, and more modest in his de- table, put on that countenance and used that uleanor when that gentleman was present. favorite phrase. Even Dobbin would shoot He was a clever lad, and afraid of the major. out a sudden peal at the boy's mimicry. If George could not help admiring his friend's George did not mimic his uncle to his face, simplicity, his good humor, his various learn- it was only by Dobbin's rebukes and Amelia's ing, quietly imparted, his general love oftruth terrified entreaties that the little scapegrace and justice. Eie had met no such man as yet was induced to desist. And the worthy in the course of his experience, and he had an civilian, being haunted by a dim consciousinstinctive liking for a gentleman. He hung ness that the lad thought him an ass, and fondly by his godfather's side; and it was his was inclined to turn him into ridicule, used delight to walk in the Parks and hear Dobbin to be extremely timorous, and, of course, talk. William told George about his father, doubly pompous and dignified in the presence about India and Waterloo, about every thing of Master Georgy. When it was announced but himself. When George was more than that the young gentleman was expected in usually pert and conceited. the major made Gillespie-street -to dine with his mother, Mr. jokes at him, which Mrs. Osborne thought Jos commonly found that he had an engageverycruel. Oneday, takinghimto theplay, ment at the club. Perhaps nobody wa.s T !290 VANITY FAIR. much grieved at his absence. On those Huff, Bombay ditto; Mrs. Pice, the lady days Mr. Sedley would commonly be in- of Pice the director, &c. We are not long duced to come out from his place of refuge in using ourselves to changes in life. That in the upper stories; and there would be a carriage came round to Gillespie-street every ismall family party, whereof Major Dobbin day: that buttony boy sprang up and down pretty generally formed one. He was the from the box with Emmy's and Jos's visitanmi de la maison; old Sedley's friend, Em- ing cards; at stated hours Emmy and the riy's fiiend, Georgy's friend, Jos's counsel carriage went for Jos to the club, and took and adviser. "He might almost as well be him an airing; or, putting old Sedley into the at Madras for any thing we see of him," vehicle, she drove the old man round the Miss Ann Dobbin remarked at Camberwell. Regent's Park. The lady's-maid and the Ah! Miss Ann, did it not strike you that it chariot, the visiting-book and the buttony was not you whom the major wanted to page, became soon as familiar to Amelia as marry? the humble routine of Brompton. She acJoseph Sedley then led a life of dignified commodated herself to one as to the other. otiosity such as became a person of his emi- If Fate had ordained that she should be nence. His very first point, of course, was a duchess, she would even have done that to become a member of the Oriental Club: duty too. She was voted, in Jos's female where he spent his mornings in the com- society, ratlher a pleasing young personpany of his brother Indians, where he dined, not much in her, but pleasing, and that sort or whence he brought home men to dine. of thing. Amelia had to receive and entertain these The men, as usual, liked her artless gentlemen and their ladies. From these kindness and simple, refined demeanor. she heard how soon Smith would be in The gallant young Indian dandy at home on Council, how many lacs Jones had brought furlough-immense dandies these-chained home with him: how Thomson's House in and mustached-driving in tearing cabs — London had refused the bills drawn by the pillars of the theaters, living at West End Thomson, Kibobjee, and Co., the Bombay hotels-nevertheless admired Mrs. Osborne House, and how it was thought the Calcutta liked to bow to her carriage in the Park, House must go too; how very imprudent, to and to be admitted to have the honor of say the least of it, Mrs. Brown's conduct paying her a morning visit. Swankey of (wife of Brown of the Ahmednuggar Irregu- the Body Guard himself, that dangerous lars) had been with young Swankey of the youth, and the greatest buck of all the InBody Guard, sitting up with him on deck dian army, now on leave, was one day disuntil all hours, and losing themselves as they covered by Major Dobbin tete-d-tete with were riding out at the Cape: how Mrs. Amelia, and describing the sport of pigHardyman had had out her thirteen sisters, sticking to her, with great humor and elodaughters of a country curate, the Rev. quence: and he spoke afterward of a' d-d Felix Rabbits, and married eleven of tlhem, king's officer that's always hanging about seven high up in the service: how Hornby the house —a long, thin, queer-looking oldish was wild because his wife would stay in fellow-a dry fellow though, that took the Europe; and Trotter was appointed collector shine out of a man in the talking line." at Ummerapoora. This and similar talk Had the major possessed a little more took place, at the grand dinners all round. personal vanity, he would have been jealous They had the same conversation, the same of so dangerous a young buck, as that fassilver dishes; the same saddles of mutton, cinating Bengal captain. But Dobbin was boiled turkeys, and entrees. Politics set of too simple and generous a nature to have in a short time after dessert, when the ladies any doubts about Amelia. He was glad that retired up-stairs, and talked about their com- the young men should pay her respect; and plaints and their children. that others should admire her. Ever since Mutato nomnine, it is all the same. Don't womanhood, almost, had she not been perthe barristers' wives talk about circuit?- secuted and undervalued? It pleased him don't the soldiers' ladies gossip about the to see how kindness brought out her good regiment?-don't the clergymen's ladies dis- qualities, and how her spirits gently rose course about Sunday schools, and who takes with her prosperity. Any person who whose duty?-don't the very greatest ladies appreciated her, paid a compliment to the of all talk about that small clique of persons major's good judgmnent-that is, if a man to whomr they belong, and why shall our In- may be said to have good judgment whu is dian friends not have their own conversation? under the influence of Love's delusion. only I admit it is slow for the laymen whose fate it sometimes is to sit by and listen. After Jos went to court, which we mjay Before long Emmy had a visiting-book, be sure he did as a loyal subject of' his and was driving about regularly in a carriage, sovereign (showing himself in his full court calling upon Lady Bludyer, wife of Major- suit at the club, whither Dobbin came to general Sir Roger Bludyer, K.C.B., Ben- fetch him in a very shabby, old uniform), gal Army; Lady Huff,; wife of Sir G. he who had always been a stanch Loyalist A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 291 and admirer rf George, IV., becanme such a the doctor to the sick-room, and the untremendous Tory and pillar of the state, dertaker's men to the upper floor-what a that he was for having Amelia to go to the memento of Life, Death, and Vanity it drawing-room too. He somehow had work- is-that arch and stair-if you choose to ed himself up to believe that he was implicat- consider it, and sit on the landing, looking ed in the maintenance of the public welfare, up and down the well! The doctor will and that the sovereign would not be happy come up to us too for the last time there, unless fos Sedley and his family appeared my friend in motley. The nurse will look to rally round him at St. James's. in at the curtains, and you take no notice Emmy laughed. "' Shall I wear the -and then she will fling open the windows family diamonds, Jos?" she said. for a little, and let in the air. Then they "I wish you would let me buy you some," will pull down all the front blinds of the thought the major. "I should like to see house and live in the back rooms-then any that were too good for you." they will send for the lawyer and other men in black, &c. Your comedy and mine will have been played then, and we shall be removed, 0 how far, from the trumpets, and CHAPTER LXI. the shouting, and the posture-making. If EN WHICHi TWO LIG~HTS ARE $PTJT OUTT. we are gentlefolks they will put hatchments. over our late domicile, with gilt cherubim, THERE came a day when the round of' and mottos stating that there is " Quiet in decorous pleasures and solemn gayeties in Heaven." Your son will new furnish the which' Mr. Jos Sedley's family indulged, house, or perhaps let it, and go into a more was interrupted by an event which happens modern quarter; your name will be among in most houses. As you ascend the stair- the 1" Members Deceased," in the lists of case of your house from the drawing to- your clubs next year. However much you ward the bed-room floors, you may have may be mourned, your'widow will like to remarked a little arch in the wall right be- have her weeds neatly made-the cook will fore you, which at once gives light to the send or come up to ask about dinner-the stair which leads from the second story to survivors will soon bear to look at your picthe third (where the nursery and servants' ture over the mantel-piece, which will chambers commonly are), and serves for presently be deposed from the place of heonanother purpose of utility, of which the or, to make way for the portrait of the son undertaker's men can give you a notion. who reigns. They rest the coffins upon that arch, or Which of the dead are most tenderly pass them through it so as not to disturb and passionately deplored? Those who love in any unseemly manner the cold tenant the survivors the least, I believe. The death slumbering within the black arch. of a child occasions a passion of grief and That second-floor arch in a London firantic tears, such as your end, brother house, looking up and down the well of the reader, will never inspire. The death of staircase, and commanding the main tho- an infant which scarce knew you, which a iroughfare by which the inhabitants are pass- week's absence firom you would have caused ing; by which cook lurks down before day- to forget you, will strike you down more light to scour her pots and pans in the than the loss of your closest friend, or your kitchen by which young master stealthily first-born son-a man grown like yourself, ascends, having left his boots in the hall, with children of his own. We may be and let himself in after dawn fiom a jolly harsh and stern with Judah and Simeonnight at the club; down which miss comes our love and pity gushes out for Benjanin, rustling in fresh ribbons and spreading mus- the little one. And if you are old, as some lins, brilliant and beautiful, and prepared for reader of this may be, or shall be-old and conquest and ball; or master Tommy slides, rich, or old and poor-you may one day be preferring the bannisters for a mode of con- thinking for yourself —" These people are veyance, and disdaining danger and the very good round about me; but they won't stair; down which the mother is fondly grieve too much when I am gone. I am very carried smiling in her strong husband's arms, rich, and they want my inheritance-or very as he steps steadily step by step, and fol- -poor, and they are tired of supporting me." lowed by the monthly nulse, on the day The period of mourning for Mrs. Sedwhen the medical man has pronounced that ley's death was only just concluded, and the charming patient may go down stairs; Jos scarcely had had time to cast off his up which John lurks to bed, yawning with black, and appear in the splendid waistcoats a sputtering tallow candle, and to gather up which he loved, when it became evident to before sunrise the boots which are await- those about Mr. Sedley, that another event ing him in the passages; that stair, up or was at hand, and that the old man was down which babies are carried, old people about to go seek for his wife in the dark are helped, guests are marshaled to the land whither she had preceded him. "The ball, the parson walks to the christening, state of my father's health," Jos Sedley 292 VANITY FAIR. solemnly remarked at the club, 1" prevents having still hold of her hand. When our me from giving my large parties this season: turn comes, friend, may we have such coinbut if you will come in quietly at half-past pany in our prayers. six, Chutney, my boy, and take a homely Perhaps as he was lying awake then, his dinner with one or two of the old set —I life may have passed before him-his early shall be always glad to see you I" So Jos hopeful struggles, his manly successes and and his acquaintances dined and drank their prosperity, his downfall in his declining claret among themselves in silence; while |years, and his present helpless conditionthe sands of life were running out in the Dno chance of revenge against Fortune, old man's glass up-stairs. The velvet-footed which had had the better of him —neither butler brought them their wine; and they name nor money to bequeath-a spent-out composed themselves to a rubber after din- bootless life of defeat and disappointment, ner: at which Major Dobbin would some- and the end here! Which, I wonder, times come and take a hand: and Mrs. Os- brother reader, is the better lot, to die prosborne would occasionally descend, when her perous and famous, or poor and disappointpatient above was settled for the night, and ed? To have, and to be forced to yield; had commenced one of those lightly troubled or to sink out of life, having played and lost slumbers which visit the pillow of old age. the game? That must be a strange feeling, The old man clung to his daughter during when a'day of our life comes and we say, this sickness. He would take his broths and " To-morrow, success or failure won't matmedicines friom scarcely any other hand. ter much: and the sun will rise, and all the To tend him became almost the sole busi- myriads of mankind go to their work or ness of her life. Her bed was placed close their pleasure as usual, but I shall be out by the door which opened into his chamber, of the turmoil." and she was alive at the slightest noise or So there came one morning and sunrise, disturbance fiom the couch of the querulous when all the world got up and set about its invalid. Though, to do him justice, he lay various works and pleasures, with the exawake many an hour, silent and without ception of old Joseph Sedley, who was not stirring, unwilling to awaken his kind and to fight with fortune, or to hope or scheme vigilant nurse. any more: but to go and take up a quiet He loved his daughter with more fond- and utterly unknown residence in a churchness now, perhaps, than ever he had done yard at Brompton by the side of his old since the days of her childhood. In the wife. discharge of gentle offices and kind filial Major Dobbin, Jos, and Georgy followed duties, this simple creature shone most es- his remains to the grave, in a black cloth pecially. "She walks into the room as coach. Jos came on purpose fiom the Star silently as a sunbeam," Mr. Dobbin thought, and Garter at Richmond, whither he reas he saw her passing in and out from her treated after the deplorable event. He did father's room: a cheerful sweetness lighting not care to remain in the house, with theup her face as she moved to and firo, grace- under the circumstances, you understand. ful and noiseless. When women are brood- But Emmy staid and did her duty as usual. ing over their children, or busied in a sick She was bowed down by no especial grief, room, who has not seen in their faces those and rather solemn than sorrowful. She sweet angelic beams of love and pity? prayed that her own end might be as calm A secret feud of some years' standing was and painless, and thought with trust and thus healed: and with a tacit reconciliation. reverence of the words which she had heard In these last hours and touched by her love firom her father during his illness, indicative and goodness, the old man forgot all his of his faith, his resignation, and his future grief against her, and wrongs which he and hope. his wife had many a long night debated: Yes, I think that will be the better ending how she had given up every thing for her of the two, after all. Suppose you are parboy: how she was careless of her parents ticularly rich, and well to do, and say, on that in their old age and misfortune, and only last day, "I am very rich; I am tolerably thought of the child: how absurdly and fool- well known; I have lived all my life in the ishly, impiously indeed, she took on, when best society, and, thank Heaven, come of a George was removed firom her. Old Sed- most respectable family. I have served my ley forgot these charges as he was making king and country with honor. I was in Parup his last account, and did justice to the liament for several years, where, I may say, gentle and uncomplaining little martyr. my speeches were listened to, and pretty One night, when she stole into his room, well received. I don't owe any man a shilshe found him awake, when the broken old ling: on the contrary, I lent my old college man made his confession. " O, Emmy, I've fiiend, Jack Lazarus, fifty pounds, for which been thinking we were very unkind and un- my executors will not press him. I leave;ust to you," he said, and put out his cold my daughters with ten thousand pounds and feeble hand to her. She knelt down apiece-very good portions for girls: I beand prayed by his bedside, as he did, too, queath my plate and furniture, my house in A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 293 Baker-street, with a handsome jointure, to much, and at once pained and pleased him, my widow for her life; and my landed prop- that it was out of William IDobbin's own erty, besides money in the funds, and my pocket that a part of the fund had been supcellar of well selected wine in Baker-street, plied upon which the poor widow and the to my son. I leave twenty pounds a year to child had subsisted. my valet; and I defy any man, after I am When -pressed upon the point, Dobbin, gone, to find any thng against my character." who could not tell lies, blushed and stamOr, suppose, on the other hand, your swan mered a good deal, and finally confessed. sings quite a different sort of dirge, and you " The marriage," he said (at which his insay, "'I am a poor, blighted, disappointed terlocutor's face grew dark), "was very old fellow, and have made an utter failure much my doing. I thought my poor friend through life. I was not endowed either had gone so far, that retreat friom his engagewith brains or with good fortune, and confess ment would have been dishonor to him, and that I have committed a hundred mistakes death to Mrs. Osborne; and I could do no and blunders. I own to having forgotten my less, when she was left without resources, duty many a time. I can't pay what I owe. than give what money I could spare to mainOn my last bed I lie utterly helpless and hum- tain her." ble; and I pray forgiveness for my weak- " Major D.," Mr. Osborne said, Jooking ness, and throw myself, with a contrite heart, hard at him, and turning very red, too, "you at the feet of the Divine Mercy." Which did me a great injury; but give me leave of these two speeches, think you, would to tell you, sir, you are an honest feller. be the best oration for your own funeral? There's my hand, sir, though I little thought Old Sedley made the last; and in that hum- that my flesh and blood was a living on you." ble frame of mind, and holding by the hand And the pair shook hands, with great confuof his daughter, life, and disappointment, and sion on Major Dobbin's part, thus found out vanity sank away from under him. in his act of charitable hypocrisy. He strove to soften the old man, and rec"You see," said old Osborne to George, oncile him toward his son's memory. " He' what comes of merit and industry, and was such a noble fellow," he said, "that all judicious speculations, and that. Look at of us loved him, and would have done any me and my banker's account. Look at your thing for him. I, as a young man in those poor grandfather, Sedley, and his failure. days, was flattered beyond measure by his And yet he was a better man than I was, preference for me, and was more pleased to this day twenty years-a better man, 1 be seen in his company than in that of the should say, by ten thousand pound." commander-in-chief.. I never saw his equal Beyond these people and Mr. Clapp's for pluck and daring, and all the qualities of family, who came over from Brompton to a soldier;" and Dobbin told the old father as pay a visit of condolence, not a single soul many stories as he could remember regardalive ever cared a penny piece about old John ing the gallantry and achievements of his Sedley, or remembered the existence of son. "'And Georgy is so like him," the such a person. major added. When old Osborne first heard fiom his "He's so like him that he makes me friend Colonel Buckler (as little Georgy has tremble sometimes," the grandfather said. already informed us) how distinguished an On one or two evenings the major came to officer Major Dobbin was, he exhibited a dine with Mr. Osborne (it was during the great deal of scornful incredulity, and ex- time of the sickness of Mr. Sedley), and as. pressed his surprise how ever such a feller the two sate together in the evening, after as that should possess either brains or repu- dinner, all their talk was about the departed tation. But he heard of the major's fame hero. The father boasted about him acfrom various members of his society. Sir cording to his wont, glorifying himself in reWilliam Dobbin had a great opinion of his counting his son's feats and gallantry; but son, and narrated many stories illustrative his mood was, at any rate, better and more of the major's learning, valor, and estimation charitable than that in which he had been in the world's opinion. Finally, his name disposed until now to regard the poor felappeared in the lists of one or two great par- low; and the Christian heart of the kind ties of the nobility, and this circumstance major was pleased at these symptoms had a prodigious effect upon the old aristo- of returning peace and good will. On the crat of Russell-square. second evening, old Osborne called DobThe major's position, as guardian to bin William, just as he used to do at the Georgy, whose possession had been ceded time when Dobbin and George were boys to his grandfather, rendered some meetings together; and the honest gentleman was afbetween the two gentlemen inevitable; and fected by that mark of reconciliation. it was in one of these that old Osborne, a On the next day, at breakfast, when Miss keen man of business, looking into the ma- Osborne, with the asperity of her age and jor's accounts with his ward and the boy's character, ventured to make some remark mother, got a hint which staggered him very reflecting slightingly upon the major's ap '294 VANITY FAIR. peaiance orbehavior, tne master of the house shiped still-of the tender and dutiful man. interrupted her. "You'd have been glad ner in which she had supported her parents, enough to git him for yourself, Miss 0. and given up her boy when it seemed to her But them grapes are sour. Ha, ha! Ma- bet duty to do so. " You don't know what jor William is a fine feller!" she endured, sir," said honest Dobbin, with "That he is, grandpapa," said Georgy, a tremor in his voice; "and I hope and approvingly: and going up close to the old trust you will be reconciled to her. If she gentleman, he took a hold of his large gray took your son away from you, she gave hers whiskers, and laughed in his face good-hu- to you; and, however much you loved your moredly, and kissed him. And he told the George, depend on it, she loved hers ten story at night to his mother, who fully agreed times more." with the boy. "Indeed he is," she said. " By God, you are a good feller, sir," was "Your dear father always said so. He is all Mr. Osborne said. It had never struck one of the best and most upright of men." him that the widow would feel any pain at DE)obbin happened to drop in very soon after parting with the boy, or that his having a fine this conversation, which made Amelia blush, fortune could grieve her. A reconciliation perhaps; and the young scapegrace increas- was announced as speedy and inevitable; ed the confusion by telling Dobbin the other and Amelia's heart already began to beat at part of the story. " I say, Dob," he said, the notion of the awful meeting with George's there's such an uncommon nice girl wants father. to marry you. She's plenty of tin; she It was never, however, destined to take wears a front; and she scolds the servants place. Old Sedley's lingering illness and fiomn morning till night." "Who is it?" death supervened, after which a meeting asked Dobbin. was for some time impossible. That catas-'"It's aunt 0.," the boy answered.- trophe, and other events, may have worked' Grandpapa said so. And I say, Dob, how upon Mr. Osborne. He was much shaken prime it would be to have you for my uncle." of late, and aged, and his mind was working Old Sedley's quavering voice firom the next inwardly. He had sent for his lawyers, and room, at this moment, weakly called for probably changed something in his will. Amelia, and the laughing ended. The medical man who looked in pronounced That old Osborne's mind was changing, him shaky, agitated, and talked of a little was pretty clear. He asked George about blood, and the sea-side; but he took neither his uncle sometimes, and laughed at the of these remedies. boy's imitation of the way in which Jos said One day when he should have come down " God-bless-my-soul," and gobbled his soup. to breakfast, his sevvant, missing him, went Then he said, "It's not respectful, sir, of into his dressing-rom, and found him lying you younkers to be imitating of your rela- at the foot of the dressing-table in a fit. tions. Miss O., when you go out a-driving Miss Osborne was apprized; the doctors to-day, leave my card upon Mr. Sedley, do were sent for; Georgy stopped away from you hear. There's fio quarrel betwigst me school; the bleeders and cuppers came. Os-i and him, any how." borne partially regained cognizance, but nev-.The card was returned, and Jos and the er could speak again, though he tried dreadmajor were asked to dinner-to a dinner, the fully once or twice, and in four days he most splendid and;stupid, that, perhaps, ever died. The doctors went down; the under~Mr. OsborDn-#gave e';e:V.e -nch of theamily taker's men went up the stairs;' and all the plate was exhibited, fndi th- be'st c any shutters were shut toward the garden in was asked. Mr. Sedley toY down lss O. Russell-square. Bullock rushed from the to dinner, and she was very gracious to him; city in a hurry. "How much money had whereas she hardly spoke to the major, who he left to that boy-not half, surely? Surely sate apart from her, and by the side of Mr. share and share alike between the three!" Osb)rne, very timid. Jos said, with great It was an agitating moment. solemnity,, it was the best clear turtle soup What was it that poor old man had tried he had ever tasted in his life, and asked Mr. once or twice in vain to say? I hope it was Osborne where he got his Madeira. that he wanted to see Amelia, and be recon"It is some of Sedley's wine," whispered ciled before he left the world to the dear and the butler to his master. "I've had it a long faithful wife of his son: it was most likely time, and paid a good figure for it, too," Mr. that; for his will showed that the hatred Osborne said aloud to his guest; and then which he had so long cherished had gone whispered to his right-hand neighbor how he out of his heart. had got it " at the old chap's sale." They found in the pocket of his dressingMore than once he asked the major about gown the letter with the great red seal, which -about Mrs. George Osborne-a theme on George had written him firom Waterloo. He which the major could be very eloquent had looked at the other papers, too, relative when he chose. He told Mr. Osborne of to his son, for the key of the box in which her sufferings-of her passionate attachment he kept them was also in his pocket, and it to her husband, whose memory she wor- was found the seals and envelopes had been A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 295 broken —vey likely on the night before the and his carriage made into an ospital for seizure —when the butler had taken him tea that old feller and Mrs. O., drove her with into his study, and found him reading in the the utmost alacrity now, and trembling lest great red family Bible. he should be superseded by Mr. Osborne's When the will was opened, it was found coachman, asked "what them there R usthat half the property was left to George, sell-square coachmen knew about town, and and the remainder between the two sisters. whether they was fit to sit on a box before Mr. Bullock to continue, for their joint ben- a lady?" Jos's friends, male and female, efit, the affairs of the commercial house, or suddenly became interested about Emmy, to go out, as he thought fit. A-n annuity of and cards of condolence multiplied on her five hundred pounds, chargeable on George's hall table. Jos himself, who had looked on property, was left to his mother, " the wid- her as a good-natured harmless pauper, to ow of my beloved son, George Osborne," whom it was his duty to give victuals and who was to resume the guardianship of the shelter, paid her and the rich little boy, his boy. nephew, the greatest respect —was anxious "Major William Dobbin, my beloved son's that she should have change and amusement friend," was appointed executor; "and as after her troubles and trials, "poor, dear out of his kindness and bounty, and with his girl"-and began to appear at the breakfastown private funds, he maintained my grand- table, and most particularly to ask how she son, and my son's widow, when they were would like to dispose of the day. otherwise without means of support" (the In her capacity of guardian to Georgy, testator went on to say), " I hereby thank she, with the consent of the major, her felhim heartily for his love and regard for them, low-trustee, begged Miss Osborne to live in and beseech him to accept such a sum as the Russell-square house as long as ever may be sufficientto purchase his commission she chose to dwell there; but that lady, as a lieutenant-colonel, or to be disposed of with thanks, declared that she never could in any way he may think fit." think of remaining alone in that melancholy When Amelia heard that her father-in- mansion, and departed in deep mourning, to law was reconciled to her, her heart melted, Cheltenham, with a couple of her old doand she was grateful for the fortune left to mestics. The rest were liberally paid and her. But when she heard how Georgy was dismissed; the faithful old butler, whom restored to her, and knew how and by whom, Mrs. Osborne proposed to retain, resigning, and how it was William's bounty that sup- and preferring to invest his savings in a ported her in poverty, how it was William public-house, where, let us hope, he was who gave her her husband and her son-O, not unprosperous. Miss Osborne not choosthen she sank on her knees, and prayed for ing to live in Russell-square, Mrs. Osborne blessings on that constant and kind heart; also, after consultation, declined to occupy she bowed down and humbled herself, and the gloomy old mansion there. The house kissed the feet, as it were, of that beautiful was dismantled; the rich furniture and and generous affection. effects, the awful chandeliers, and dreary And gratitude was all that she had to blank mirrors packed away and hidden, the pay back for such admirable devotion and rich rosewood drawing-room suite was mufbenefits-only gratitude! If she thought fled in straw, the carpets were rolled up of any other return, the image of George and corded, the small, select library of wellstood up out of the grave, and saId, " You bound books was- stowed into two wineare mine, and mine only, now and forever." chesps, and the, whole paraphernalia rolled William knew her feelings: had he not away in several enormous vans to the Panpassed his whole life in divining them? technicon, where they were to lie until Georgy's majority. And the great, heavy'When the nature of Mr. Osborne's will dark plate-chests went off to Messrs. Stumpy became known to the world, it was edifying and Rowdy, to lie in the cellars of those to remark -how Mrs. George Osborne rose eminent bankers until the same period in the estimation of the people forming her should arrive. circle of acquaintance. The servants of One day Emmy, with George in her Jos's establishment, who used to question hand, and clad in deep sables, went to visit her humble orders, and say they would the deserted mansion, which she had not 1" ask master," whether or not they could entered since she was a girl. The place in obey, never thought now of that sort of front was littered with straw where the appeal. The cook forgot to sneer at heir vans had been laden and rolled off. They shabby old gowns (which, indeed, were went into the great blank rooms, the walls quite eclipsed by that lady's finery when she of which bore the marks where the pictures was dressed to go to church of a Sunday and mirrors had hung. Then they went up evening), the others no longer grumbled at the great, blank stone-staircases into the the sound of her bell, or delayed to answer upper rooms, into that where grandpapa that summons. The coachman, who grun- died, as George said in a whisper, and then bled that his osses should be brought out, higher still into George's own room. The 296 VANITY FAIR. boy was still clinging by her side, but she that dear child, an unwholesome little miss thought of another besides him. She knew of seven years of age. that it had been his father's room as well as "Rosa, go and kiss your dear cousin,"his own. Mrs. Frederic said. " Don't you know me, She went up to one of the open windows George? I am your aunt." (one of those at which she used to gaze "I know you well enough," George said; with a sick heart when the child was first "but I don't like kissing, please;" and he taken from her), and thence as she looked retreated from the obedient caresses of his out she could see over the trees of Russell- cousin. square, the old house in which she herself "Take me to your dear mamma, you was born, and where she had passed so droll child," Mrs. Frederic said; and those many happy days of sacred youth. They ladies accordingly met, after an absence of all came back to her, the pleasant holidays, more than fifteen years. During. Emma's the kind faces, the careless, joyful past cares and poverty the other had never once times; and the long pains and trials that thought about coming to see her; but now had since cast her down. She thought of that she was decently prosperous in the these and of the man who had been her world, her sister-in-law came to her, as a constant protector, her good genius, her matter of course. sole benefactor, her tender, and generous So did numbers more. Our old friend, friend. Miss Swartz, and her husband came thun"Look here, mother," said Georgy, dering over fiom Hampton Court, with " here's a G. O. scratched on the glass flaming yellow liveries, and was as impetwith a diamond; I never saw it before, I uously fond of Amelia as ever. Swartz never did it." would have liked her always if she could " It was your father's room long before have seen her. One must do her that jusyou were born, George," she said, and she tice. But, que voulez vous? in this vast blushed as she kissed the boy. town one has not the time to go and seek She was very silent as they drove back one's fiiends; if they drop out of the rank to Richmond, where they had taken a tem- they disappear, and we march on without porary house: where the smiling lawyers them. Who is ever missed in Vanity Fair 1 used to come bustling over to see her (and But so, in a word, and before the period we may be sure noted the visit in the bill): of grief for Mr. Osborne's death had subsidand where, of course,. there was a room for ed, Emmy found herself in the center of a Major Dobbin, too, who rode over fre- very genteel circle indeed; the members quent]ly, having much business to transact of which could not conceive that any body in behalf of his little ward. belonging to it was not very lucky. There Georgy at this time was removed from was scarce one of the ladies that hadn't a Mr. Veal's on an unlimited holiday, and relation a peer, though the husband might that gentleman was engaged to prepare an be a drysalter in the city. Some of the ladies inscription for a fine marble slab, to be were very blue and well informed; reading placed up in the Foundling under the monu- Mrs. Somerville, and frequenting the Royal ment of Captain George Osborne. Institution: others were severe and e;angelical, and held by Exeter Hall. Emmy, it The female Bullock, aunt of Georgy, al- must be owned, found herself entirely at a though despoiled by that little monster of one- loss in the midst of their clavers, and sufferhalf of the sum which she, expected from ed woefully on the one or two occasions in her father, nevertheless showed her charit- which she was compelled to accept Mrs. ableness of spirit by being reconciled to the Frederic Bullock's hospitalities. The lady mother and the boy. Roehampton is not persisted in patronizing her, and determined far from Richmond, and one day the char- most graciously to form her. She found iot, with the golden bullocks emblazoned on Amelia's milliners for her, and regulated her the panels, and the flaccid children within, household and her manners. She drove drove to Amelia's house at Richmond; and over constantly from Roehampton, and enthe Bullock family made an irruption into tertained her firiend with faint, fashionable the garden, where Amelia was reading a fiddle-faddle and feeble court slip-slop. Jos book,; Jos was in an arbor placidly dipping liked to hear it, but the major used to go off strawberries into wine, and the major in growling at the appearance of this woman, one of his Indian jackets was giving a back with her twopenny gentility. He went to to Georgy, who chose to jump over him. sleep under Frederic Bullock's bald head, He went over his head, and bounded into after dinner, at one of the banker's best the little advance of Bullocks, with im- parties (Fred was still anxious that the balmense black bows in their hats, and huge ance of the Osborne; property should be black sashes, accompanying their mourning transferred fiorm Stumpy and Rowdy's to mamma. them), and while Amelia, who did not know,"He is just of the age for Rosa," the Latin, or who wrote the last crack article in fond parent thought, and glanced toward the Edinburgh, and did not in the least do A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 297 plore, or otherwise, Mr. Peel's late extraor- conclusion of the war, and carry the national inary tergiversation in the fatal Catholic God-dam into every city of the continent Relief Bill, sate dumb among the ladies in The congregation of hat-boxes, and Bramah the grand drawing-room, looking out upon desks, and dressing cases was prodigious velvet lawns, trim gravel walks. and glisten- There were jaunty young Cambridge-men ing hot houses. traveling with their tutor, and going for a "She seems good-natured, but insipid," reading excursion to Nonnenwerth or KSsaid Mrs. Rowdy; "that major seems to,nigswinter; there were Irish gentlemen, be particularly fpris." with the most dashing whiskers and jewel"She wants ton sadly," said Mr. Holly- ry, talking about horses incessantly, and pro ock. " My dear creature, you never will digiously polite to the young ladies on board, be able to form her." whom, on the contrary, the Cambridge lads "'She is dreadfully ignorant or indiffer- and their pale-faced tutor avoided with ant," said Mrs. Glowry, with a voice as if maiden coyness: there were old Pall Mall from the grave, and a sad shake of the head loungers bound for Ems and Wiesbaden, and and turban. "I asked her if she thought a course of waters to clear off the dinners of that it was in 1836, according to Mr. Jowls, the season, and a little roulette and trente-etor in 1839, according to Mr. Wapshot, that quarante to keep the excitement going: there the pope was to fall: and she said-' Poor was old Methuselah, who had married his pope! I hope not. What has he done?'" young wife, with Captain Pappillon of the "She is my brother's widow, my dear Guards holding her parasol and guide-books: friends," Mrs. Frederic replied, "and as there was young May who was carrying off such, I think we're all bound to give her his bride on a pleasure tour (Mrs. Winter every attention and instruction on entering that was, and who had been at school with into the world. You may fancy there can May's grandmother); there was Sir John be no mercenary motives in those whose dis- and my lady with a dozen children, and cor appointments are well known." responding nursemaids; and the greatgrandee "n That poor dear Mrs. Bullock," said Bareacres family that sate by themselves Rowdy to Hollyock, as they drove away to- near the wheel, stared at every body, and gether; "she is always scheming and man- spoke to no one. Their carriages, emblaaging. She wants Mrs. Osborne's account zoned with coronets, and heaped with shinto be taken firom our house to hers-and the ing imperials, were on the foredeck; locked way in which she coaxes that boy, and makes in with a dozen more such vehicles: it was him sit by that blear-eyed little Rosa, is per- difficult to pass in and out among them: and fectly ridiculous." the poor inmates of the fore-cabin had scarce"'I wish Glowry was choked with her ly any space for locomotion. These con man of sin and her battle of Armageddon," sisted of a few magnificently attired gentlecried the other; and the carriage rolled men from Houndsditch, who brought their away over Putney Bridge. own provisions, and could have bought half the But this sort of society was too cruelly gay people in the grand saloon; a few honest genteel for Emmy: and all jumped for joy fellows with mustaches and portfolios, who when a foreign tour was proposed. set to sketching before they had been halfan-hour on board; one or two French femmes de chambre who began to be dreadfully ill by the time the boat had passed GreenCHAPTER LXII. wich; a groom or two who lounged in the neighborhood of the horse-boxes under their AMR RHEIN. charge, or leaned over the side of the jadTHE above every-day events had occurred, die-wheels, and tallied about who was good and a few weeks had passed, when, on one for the Leger, and what they stood to win fine morning, Parliament being over, the or lose for the Goodwood cup. summer advanced, and all the good company All the couriers, when they had done in London about to quit that city for their plunging about the ship, and had settled annual tour in search of pleasure or health, their various masters in the cabins or on the the. Batavier steamboat left the Tower-stairs deck, congregated together and began to laden with a goodly company of English fu- chatter and smoke; the Hebrew gentlemen gitives. The quarter-deck awnings were joining them and looking at the carriages. up, and the benches and gangways crowded There was Sir John's great carriage that with scores of rosy children, bustling nurse- would hold thirteen people; my Lord Memaids, ladies in the prettiest pink bonnets thuselah's carriage, my Lord Bareacres's and summer dresses, gentlemen in traveling chariot, britska, and fourgon, that any body caps and linen jackets, whose mustaches had might pay for who liked. It was a wonder just begun to sprout for the ensuing tour; how my lord got the ready money to pay and stout trim old veterans with starched for the expenses of the journey. The He neckcloths and neat brushed hats, such as brew gentlemen knew how he got it. They have invaded Europe any time since the knew what money his lordship had in his 298 -VANITY FAIR. pocket at that instant, and what interest he a rich black, with purple and green reflections paid for it, and who gave it him. Finally in the light. But changed as they were, the there was a very neat, handsome traveling movements of the noble pair occupied Jos's carriage, about which the gentlemen specu- mind entirely. The presence of a lord fascilated. nated him, and he could look at nothing else. 1"A qui cette voiture la?" said one gentle- "Those people seem to interest you a man courier, with a large morocco money- good deal," said Dobbin, laughing and watchbag and ear-rings, to another with ear-rings ing him. Amelia too laughed. She was in and a large morocco money-bag. a straw bonnet with black ribbons, and otherc" C'est a Kirsch je bense-je l'ai vu toute wise dressed in mourning: but the little a l'heure-qui brenoit des sangviches cans bustle and holiday of the journey pleased la voiture," said the courier, in a fine Ger- and excited her, and she looked particularly man French. happy. Kirsch emnerging presently from the neigh-. What a heavenly day," Emmy said, and borhood of the hold where he had been bel- added, with great originality, "I hope we lowing instructions, intermingled with poly- shall have a calm passage." glot oaths to the ship's men engaged in se- Jos waved his hand, scornfully glancing at creting the passengers' luggage, came to give the same time under his eyelids at the great an account of himself to his brother interpret- folks opposite. " If you nad made the ers. Hle informed them that the carriage voyages we have," he said, "you wouldn't belonged to a Nabob from Calcutta and Ja- much care about the weather." But nevermaica, enormously rich, and with whom he theless, traveler, as he was, he passed the was engaged to travel; and at this moment night direfully sick in his carriage, where a young gentleman who had been warned his courier tended him with brandy and water off the bridge between the paddle-boxes, and and every luxury. who had dropped thence on to the roof of In due time this happy party landed at Lord Methuselah's carriage, fiom which the quays of Rotterdam, whence they were he had made his way over other carriages transported by another steamer to the city and imperials until he had clambered on to of Cologne. Here the carriage and the faimhis own, descended thence and through the ily took to the shore, and Jos was not a little window into the body of the carriage to the gratified to see his arrival announced in the applause of the couriers looking on. Cologne newspapers as'Herr Graf Lord'Nous allons avoir une belle traverses, von Sedley nebst Begleitung aus London.' Monsieur George," said the courier with a He had his court dress with him: he had grin, as he lifted his gold laced cap. insisted that Dobbin should bring his regi" D- your French," said the young gen- mental paraphernalia: he announced that it tieman, "where's the biscuits, ay?" Wahere- was his intention to be presented at some upon, Kirsch answered him in the English foreign courts, and pay his respects to the language or in such an imitation of it as he sovereigns of the countries which he honorcould command-for though he was familiar ed with a visit. with all languages, Mr. Kirsch was not ac- Wherever the party stopped, and an opquainted with a single one, and spoke all portunity was offered, Mr. Jos left his own with indifferent volubility and incorrect- card and the major's upon " Our Minister." ness. It was with great difficulty that he could be The imperious young gentleman who restrained from putting on his cocked hat gobblels the biscuits (and indeed it was time and tights to wait upon the English consul to refresh himself, for he had breakfasted at at the free city of Judenstadt, when that Richmond full three hours before), was our hospitable functionary asked our travelers young friend George Osborne. Uncle Jos to dinner. He kept a journal of his voyage, and his mamnma were on the quarter deck and noted elaborately the defects or excelwith a gentleman of whom they used to lencies of the various inns at which hle put see a good deal, and the four were about to up, and of the wines and dishes of which he make a summer tour. partook. Jos was seated at that moment on deck As for Emmy, she was very happy and under the awning, and pretty nearly oppo- pleased. Dobbin used to carry about for her site to the Earl of Bareacres and his family, her stool and sketch-book, and admired the whose proceedings absorbed the Bengalee drawings of the good-natured little artist, as almost entirely. Both the noble couple they never had been admired before. She looked rather younger than in the eventful sate upon the steamer's decks and drew year of'15, when Jos remembered to have crags and castles, or she mounted upon donseen them at Brussels (indeed he always keys and ascended to ancient robber-towers, gave out in India that he was intimately ac- attended by her two aids-de-camp, Georgy quainted with them). Lady Carabas's hair and Dobbin. She laughed, and the major which was then dark was now a beautiful did too, at his droll figure on donkey-back, golden auburn, whereas Lord Carabas's with hislong legs touching the ground. He whiskers, formerly red, were at present of was the interpreter for the Falty, having a A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 299 good military knowledge of the German was introduced to those divine compositionls language; and he and'he delighted George this lady had the keenest and finest sensifought the campaigns of the Rhine and the bility, and how could she be indifferent when Palatinate: in the course of a few weeks, she heard Mozart? The tender parts of and by assiduously conversing with Herr Don Juan awakened in her raptures so Kirsch on the box of the carriage, Georgy exquisite, that she would ask herself when made prodigious advance in the knowledge she went to say her prayers of a night, of. High Dutch, and could talk to hotel whether it was not wicked to feel so much waiters and postillions in a way that charmed delight as that with which" Vedrai Carino " his mother, and amused his guardian. and "Batti Batti" filled her gentle little Mr. Jos did not much engage in the after- bosom? But the major, whom she consultnoon excursions of his fellow-travelers. He ed upon this head, as hertheological adviser slept a good deal after dinner, or basked (and who himself had a pious and reverent in the arbors of the pleasant inn-gardens. soul), said,, that for his part, every beauty Pleasant Rhine gardens! Fair scenes of of art or nature made him thankful as well peace and sunshine-noble purple mountains,, as happy; and that the pleasure to be had in whose crests are reflected in the magnificent listening to fine music, as in looking at the stream —who has ever seen you, that has stars in the sky, or at a beautiful landscape not a grateful memory of those scenes of or picture, was a benefit for which we might friendly repose and beauty? To lay down thank Heaven as sincerely as for any other the pen, and even to think of that beautiful worldly blessing. And in reply to some Rhineland makes one happy. At this time faint objections of Mrs. Amelia's (taken of summer evening, the cows are trooping from certain theological works like the down from the hills, lowing and with their "Washerwoma-n of Finchley Common," bells tinkling, to the old town, with its old and others of that school, with which Mrs. moats, and gates, and spires, and chestnut- Osborne had been furnished during her life trees, with long blue shadows stretching over at Brompton) he told her an eastern fable the grass; the sky and the river below of the owl who thought that the sunshine flame in crimson and gold; and the moon is was unbearable for the eyes, and that the already out, looking pale toward the sunset. nightingale was a most overrated bird. "It The sun sinks behind the great castle-crest- is one's nature to sing and the other's to ed mountains, the night falls suddenly, the hoot," he said, laughing, "and with such a river grows darker and darker, lights quiver sweet voice as you have yourself, you must in it from the windows in the old ramparts, belong to the bulbul faction." and twinkle peacefully in the, villages under I like to dwell upon this period of her the hills on the opposite shore. life, and to think that she was cheerful and So Jos used to go to sleep a good deal with happy. You see she has not had too much,his bandanna over his face and be very com- of that sort of existence as yet, and has not fortable, and read all the English news, and fallen in the way of means to educate her every word of Galignani's admirable news- tastes or her intelligence. She has been paper (.may the blessings of all Englishmen domineered over hitherto by vulgar intellects. who have ever been abroad rest on the It is the lot of many a woman. And as founders and proprietors of that piratical every one of the dear sex is the rival of the print)! and whether he woke or slept his rest of her kind, timidity passes for folly in friends did not very much miss him. Yes, their charitable judgments; and gentleness they were very happy. They went to the for dullness; and silence —which is but opera often of evenings-to those snug, un- timid denial of the unwelcome assertion of assuming, dear, old operas in the German ruling folks, and tacit protestantism —above towns, where the noblesse sits and cries, and all, finds no mercy at the hands of the knits stockings on the one side, over against female inquisition. Thus, my dear and the bourgeoisie on the other; and his Trans- civilized reader, if you and I were to find parancy the duke and his Transparent family, ourselves this evening in a society of greenall very fat and good-natured, come and oc- grocers, let us say; it is probable that our cupy the great box in the middle; and the conversation would not be brilliant; if, on pit is full of the most elegant slim-waisted the other hand, a greengrocer should find officers with straw-colored mustaches, and himself at your refined and polite tea-table, twopence a day on full pay. H'ere it was where every body was saying witty things, that Emmy found her delight, and was in- and every body of fashion and repute tearing troduced for the first time to the wonders her firiends to pieces in the most delightful of Mozart and Cimarosa. The major's mu- manner, it is possible that the stranger would sical taste has been before alluded to, and his not be very talkative, and by no means interperformances on the flute commended. But esting or interested. perhaps the chief pleasure he had in these And it must be remembered, that this poor operas was in watching Emmy's rapture lady had never met a gentleman in her life while listening to them. A new world of until this present moment. Perhaps these love and beauty broke upon her when she I are rarer personages than some of us think 300 VANITY FAIR. for. Which of us can point out many such of Jos, and the knowing way in which he in his circle-men whose aims are generous, sipped, or rather sucked, the Johannisberger, whose truth is constant, and not only con- which he ordered for dinner. The little stant in its kind but elevated in its degree; boy, too, we observed, had a famous appewhose want of meanness makes them sim- tite, and consumed schinken, and braten, and ple: who can look the world honestly in the kartoffeln, and cranberry jam, and salad, and face with an equal, manly sympathy for the pudding, and roast fowls, and sweetmeats, great and the small? We all know a hun- with a gallantry that did honor to his nation. dred whose coats are very well made, and a After about fifteen dishes, he concluded the score who have excellent manners, and one repast with dessert, some of which he even or two happy beings who are what they carried out of doors; for some young gencall, in the inner circles, and have shot tlemen at table, amused with his coolness into the very centre and bull's eye of the, and gallant fiee and easy manner, induced fashion; but of gentlemen how many? him to pocket a handful of macaroons, which Let us take a little scrap of paper and each he discussed on his way to the theater, make out his list. whither every body went in the cheery soMy firiend the major I write, without any cial little German place. The lady in black, doubt, in mine. He had very long legs, a the boy's mamma, laughed and blushed, yellow face, and a slight lisp, which at first and looked exceedingly pleased and shy as was rather ridiculous. But his thoughts the dinner went on, and at the various feats were just, his brains were fairly good, his and instances of espieglerie on the part of life was honest and pure, and his heart her son. The colonel-for so he became warm and humble. He certainly had very very soon afterward-I remember joked large hands and feet, which the two George the boy with a great deal of grave fun, Osbornes used to caricature and laugh at; pointing out dishes which he hadn't t-ried, and their jeers and laughter perhaps led poor and entreating him not to balk his appelittle Emmy astray as to his worth. But tite, but to have a second supply of this or have we not all been misled about our that. heroes, and changed our opinions a hun- It was what they call a gast-rolle night dred times? Emmy, in this happy time, at the Royal Grand Ducal Pumpernickfound that hers underwent a very great lisch Hof-or court theater; and Madame change in respect of the merits of the Schroeder Devrient, then in the bloom of major. her beauty and genius, performed the part Perhaps it was the happiest time of both of the heroine in the wonderful opera of their lives indeed, if they did but know it- Fidelio. From our places in the stalls we and who does? Which of us can point out could see our four friiends of the table d'hMte, and say that was the culmination —that was in the loge which Schwendler of the Erbthe summit of human joy? But at all prinz kept for his best guests: and I could events this couple were very decently con- not help remarking the effect which the tented and enjoyed as pleasant a summer magnificent actress and music produced upon tour as any pair that left England that year. Mrs. Osborne, for so we had heard the Georgy was always present at the play, but stout gentleman in the mustaches call her. it was the major who put Emmy's shawl on During the astonishing chorus of the prisafter the entertainment; and in the walks oners, over which the delightful voice of the and excursions the young lad would be on actress rose and soared in the most ravishing ahead, and up a tower-stair or a tree, while harmony, her face wore such an expression the soberer couple were below, the major of wonder and delight that it struck even smoking his cigar with great placidity and little Fipps, the blase attache, who drawled constancy, while Emmy sketched the site out, as he fixed his glass upon her, "Gayd, or the ruin. It was on this very tour that it really does one good to see a woman cay[, the present writer of a history of which pable of that stayt of excaytement." And every word is true, had the pleasure to see in the prison scene, where Fidelio, rushing them first, and to make their acquaintance. to her husband cries " Nichts, nichts, mein Florestan," she fairly lost herself, and cov It was at the little comfortable Grand Du- ered her face with her handkerchief. Every cal town of Pumpernickel (that very place woman in the house was sniveling at the where Sir Pitt Crawley had been so distin- time: but I suppose it was because it was guished as an attache; but that was in early predestined that I was to write this particdays, and before the news of the battle of ular lady's memoirs that I remarked her. Austerlitz sent all the English diplomatists The next day they gave another piece of in Germany to the right about) that I first Beethoven. "Die Schlacht bei Vittoria." saw Colonel Dobbin and his party. They Malbrook is introduced at the beginning of had arrived with the carriage and courier the performance, as indicative of the advance at the Erbprinz Hotel, the best of the town, of the French army. Then come drums, and the whole party dined at the table trumpets, thunder of artillery, and groans d'hdte. Every body remarked the majesty of the dying; and at last, in a grand tri A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 301 umphant swell,' God save the King" is per- lounged about the lobbies, and we saw the'fornled. society take its departure. The duchess There may have been a score of English- dowager went off in her jingling old coach, men in the house, but at the burst of that attended by two faithful and withered old beloved and well-known music, every one of maids of honor, and a little snuffy spindlethemn, we young fellows in the stalls, Sir John shanked gentleman in waiting, in a brown and Lady Bullminster (who had taken a jasey and a green coat covered with orders house at Pumpernickel for the education of -of which the star and the grand yellow their nine children), the fat gentleman with cordon of the order of St. Michael of the mustaches, the long major in white duck Pumpernickel was most conspicuous. The troswers, and the lady with the little boy drums rolled, the guards saluted, and the old upon whom he was so sweet; even Kirsch, carriage drove away. the courier in the gallery, stood bolt upright Then came his Transparency the Duke in their places, and proclaimed themselves and Transparent family, with his great to be members of the dear old British na- officers of state and household. He bowed tion, As for Tapeworm, the Secretary of serenely to every body. And amid the saLegation, he rose up in his box and bowed luting of the guards, and the flaring of the and simpered as if he would represent the torches of the running footmen, clad in whole empire. Tapeworm was nephew scarlet, the Transparent carriages drove and heir of old Marshal Tiptoff, who has away to the old ducal Schloss, with its been introduced in this story as General towers and pinnacles standing on the SchlossTiptoff, just before Waterloo, and who was berg. Every body in Pumpernickel knew colonel of the -th regiment in which Ma- every body. No sooner was a foreigner jor Dobbin served, and who died in this seen there, than the Minister of Foreign year full of honors, and of an aspic of plo- Aftfais, or some other great or small officer ver's eggs; when the regiment was gracious- of state, went round to the Erbprinz, and ly given by his majesty to Colonel Sir found out the name of the new arrivals. Michael O'Dowd, K.C.B., who had com- We watched them, too, out of the themanded it in many glorious fields. ater. Tapeworm had just walked off, enTapeworm must have met with Colonel veloped in his cloak, with which his giganDobbin at the house of the colonel's colonel, tic chasseur was always in attendance, and the marshal, for he recognized him on this looking as much as possible like Don Juan. night at the theater; and with the utmost The prime minister's lady had just squeezed condescension, his majesty's minister came herself into her sedan, and her daughter, the over from his own box, and publicly shook charming Ida, had put on her calash and hands with his new found friend. clogs: when the English party came out, "Look at that infernal sly boots of a the boy yawning drearily, the major taking Tapeworm," Fipps whispered, examining great pains in keeping the shawl over Mrs. his chief from the stalls. " Wherever Osborne's head, and Mr. Sedley looking there's a pretty woman he always twists grand, with a crush opera-hat on one side himself in." And I wonder what were di- of his head, and his hand in the stomach of plomatists made for but for that? a voluminou~ white waistcoat. We took " Have I the honor of addressing myself off our hats to our acquaintances of the to Mrs. Dobbin," asked the secretary, with table d'hdte, and the lady, in return, presenta most insinuating grin. ed us with a little smile and a courtesy, for Georgy burst out laughing, and said " By which every body might be thankful. Jove, that is a good'un."-Emmy and the The carriage from the inn, under the major blushed: we saw them fi'om the superintendence of the bustling Mr. Kirsch, stalls. was in waiting to convey the party; but the " This lady is Mrs. George Osborne," said fat man said he would walk, and smoke his the major, "and this is her brother Mr. cigar on his way homeward; so the other Sedley, a distinguished officer of the Bengal three, with nods and smiles to us, wont civil service: permit me to introduce him without Mr. Sedley. Kirsch, with tL'e to your lordship." cigar-case, following in his master's wake. My lord nearly sent Jos off his legs, with We all walked together, and talked to the the most fascinating smile. " Are you going stout gentleman about the agremens of the to stop in Pumpernickel," he said. " It is place. It was very agreeable for the Ena dull place: but we want some nice people, glish. There were shooting-parties and batand we would try and make it so agreea- tiles; there was a plenty of balls and enterble to you. Mr. —Ahem-Mrs.-Oho. I tainments at the hospitable court; the society shall do myself the honor of calling upon was generally good;'the theater excellent, you to-morrow at your inn."-And he went and the living cheap. away with a Parthian grin and glance, - And our minister seems a most delightwhich he thought must finish Mrs. Osborne ful and affable person," our new fiiend said. completely. With such a representative, and-and a The perfrmance over, the young fellows good medical man, I can fancy the place te 302 VANITY FAIR. be most eligible. Good night, gentlemen." his simpering, his scented cambric handketAnd Jos creaked up the stairs to bedward, chief, and his high-heeled lacquered boots. followed by Kirsch with a flambeau. Ve She did not understand one half the complirather hoped that the nice-looking woman ments which he paid; she had never, in would be induced to stay some time in the her small experience of mankind, met a town. professional lady's man as yet, and looked upon my lord as something curious rather than pleasant; and if she did not admire, CHAPTER LXIII. certainly wondered at him. Jos, on the IN WIIICH WE MEET AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE. contrary, was delighted. " How very affable his lordship is," he said; " How very SUCH polite behavior as that of Lord kind of his lordship to say he would send his Tapeworm did not fail to have the most medical man! Kirsch, you will carry our favorable effect upon Mr. Sedley's mind, cards to the Count de SchlUsselback directand the very next morning, at breakfast, he ly: the major and I will have the.greatest pronounced his opinion, that Pumpernickel pleasure in paying our respects at court as was the pleasantest little place of any which soon as possible. Put out my uniform, they had visited on their tour. Jos's motives Kirsch-both our uniforms. It is a. mark of and artifices were not very difficult of corn- politeness which every English gentleman prehension: and Dobbin laughed in his sleeve, ought. to show to the countries which he hypocrite as he was, when he found by the visits, to pay his respects to the sovereigns knowing air of the civilian, and the off-hand of those countries as to the representatives mnaner in which the latter talked of Tape- of his own."' worm Castle, and the other members of the When Tapeworm's doctor came, Doctoi family, that Jos had been up already in the von Glauber, body physician to H.S.H. the morning, consulting his traveling Peerage. duke, he speedily convinced Jos that the Yes, he had seen the Right Honorable the Pumpernickel mineral springs and the docEarl of Bagwig, his lordship's father; he tor's particular treatment would infallibly was sure he had; he had met him at-at restore the Bengalee to youth and slimness. thelevee-didn't Dobremember? and when "Dere came here last year," he said. the diplomatist called on the party, faithful "Sheneral Bulkeley, an English Sheneral, to his promise, Jos received him with such tvice so pic as you, sir. I sent him bacl a salute and honors as were seldom accord- qvite tin after tree months, and he danced ed to the little envoy. He winked at Kirsch vid Baroness Glauber at the end of two." on his excellency's arrival; and that emissary Jos's mind was made up, the springs, the instructed beforehand, went out and super- doctor, the court, and the Charge d' Affaires intended an entertainment of cold meats, convinced him, and he proposed to spend jellies, and other delicacies, brought in upon the autumn in these delightful quarters. trays, and of which Mi. Jos absolutely insist- And punctual to his word, on the next day ed that his noble guest should partake. the Charge d' Affaires presented Jos and Tapeworm, so long as he could have an the major to Victor Aurelius XVII., being opportunity of admiring the bright eyes conducted to their audience with that soveof Mrs. Osborne (whose freshness of corn- reign by the Count de Schlusselback. marplexion bore daylight remarkably well) was shal of the court. not ill pleased to accept any invitation to They were straightway invited to dinner stay in Mr. Sedley's lodgings; he put one at court; and their intention of staying in or two dexterous questions to him about town being announced, the politest ladies of India and the dancing-girls there; asked the whole town instantly called upon Mrs. Amelia about that beautiful boy who had Osborne; and as not one of these, however been with her, and complimented the as- poor they might be, was under the rank of a tonished little woman upon the prodigious baroness-Jos's delight was beyond expressensation which she had made in the house; sion. He wrote off to Chutney at the club and tried to fascinate Dobbin by talking of to say that the service was highly apprethe late war, and the exploits of the Pumper- ciated in Germany, that he was going to show nickel contingent, under the command of the his firiend, the Count de Schltisselback, how hereditary prince, now Duke of Pumper- to stick a pig in the Indian fashion, and that nickel. his august friends, the duke and duchess Lord Tapeworm inherited no little por- were every thing that was kind and civil. tion of the family gallantry, and it was his Emmy, too, was presented to the august happy belief, that almost every woman upon family, and as mourning is not admitted in whom he himself cast friendly eyes, was in court on certain days, she appeared in a pink love with him. He left Emmy under the crape dress, with a diamond ornament in the Dersuasion that she was slain by his wit and corsage, presented to her by her brother, attrzactions, and went home to his lodgings to and she looked so pretty in this costume that write a pretty little note to her. She was the duke and Dourt (putting out of the quesnot fascinated only puzzled by his grinning, tion the major, who had scarcely ever seen IDVI ~__ ——:.. ~_: 10 PERFOR-A S A P'LL'ZNAISE (p. Sp A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 30. nei before in an evening dress, and vowed Pump river from those of the neighboring that she did not look five-and-twenty) all ad- Prince of Potzenthal; fiom all the little vilmired her excessively. lages, which, besides these three great cities, In this dress she walked a Polonaise with dot over the happy principality-from th6 Major Dobbin at a court ball, in which easy farms and the mills along the Pump, come dance Mr. Jos had the honor of leading out troops of people in red petticoa's and velvet the Countess of Schlfsselback, an old lady head-dresses, or with three-cornered hats with a hump back, but with sixteen good and pipes in their mouths, who flock to the quarters of nobility, and related to half the Residenz, and share in the pleasures of the royal houses of Germany. fail and the festivities there. Then the Pumpernickel stands in the midst of a theater is open for nothing; then the waters happy valley, through which sparkles-to of Monblaisir begin to play (it is lucky that mingle with the Rhine somewhere, but I there is company to behold them, for one have not the map at hand to say exactly at would be afr'aid to see them alone)-then what point —the fertilizing stream of the there come mountebanks and riding troops Pump. In some places the river is big (the way in which his Transparency was enough to support a ferry-boat, in others to fascinated by one of the horse-riders, is well turn a mill; in Pumpernickel itself, the last known, and it is believed that La Petite Transparency but three, the great and re- Vivancldire, as she was called, was a spy nowned Victor Aurelius XIV., built a mag- in the French interest), and the delighted nificent bridge, on which his own statue people are permitted to march through rises, surrounded by water-nymphs and em- room after room of the grand ducal palace, blems of victory, peace, and plenty; he has and admire the slippery floor, the rich hanghis foot on the neck of a prostrate Turk- ings, and the spittoons at the doors of all the history says he engaged and ran a Janissaly innumerable chambers. There is one pathrough the body at the relief of Vienna by vilion at Monblaisir which Aurelius Victor Sobieski-but, quite undisturbed by the ago- XV. had arranged-a great prince, but too nies of that prostrate Mohammedan, who fond of pleasure-and which I am told is a writhes at his feet in the most ghastly man- perfect wonder of licentious elegance. It is ner, the prince smiles blandly, and points with painted with the story of Bacchus and Arihis truncheon in the direction of the Aure- adne, and the table works in and out of the lius Platz, where he began to erect a new room by means of a windlass, so that the palace that would have been the wonder of company was served without any intervenhis age, had the great-souled prince but tion of domestics. But the place was shut funds to complete it. But the completion up by Barbara, Aurelius XV.'s widow, a of Monplaisir (MonTblaisir the honest Ger- severe and devout princess of the house of man folks call it) was stopped for lack of Bolkum, and regent of the duchy during her ready money, and it and its park and gar- son's glorious minority, and after the death dens are now in rather a faded condition, of her husband-cut off in the pride of his and not more than ten times big enough to pleasures. accommodate the court of the reigning sove- The theater of Pumpernickel is known reign. and famous in that quarter of Germany. It The gardens were arranged to emulate languished a little when the present duke in those of Versailles, and amid the terraces his youth insisted upon having his own and groves there are some huge allegorical operas played there, and it is said, one day, waterworks still, which spout and froth stu- in a filury from his place in the orchestra, pendously upon fete-days, and frighten one when he attended a rehearsal, broke a baswith their enormous aquatic insurrections. soon on the head of the chapel-master, who There is the Trophonius' cave in which, by was conducting, and led too slow; and during some artifice, the leaden Tritons are made which time the Duchess Sophia wrote'donot only to spout water, but to play the mestic comedies which must have been very most dreadful groans out of their lead conches dreary to witness. But the prince executes -there is the Nymph-bath and the Niagara his music in private now, and the duchess cataract, which the people of the neighbor- only gives away her plays to the foreigners hood admire beyond expression, when they of distinction who visit her kind little court. come to the yearly fair at the opening of It is conducted with no small comfort and the chamber, or to the fetes with which the splendor. When there are balls, though happy little nation still celebrates the birth- there may be four hundred people at supdays and marriage-days of its princely gov- per, there is a servant in scarlet and lace to ernors. attend upon every four, and every one is Then from all the towns of the duchy served on silver. There are festivals and which stretches for nearly ten miles-from entertainments going continually on: and Bolkum, which lies on its western frontier the duke has his chamberlains and equerries, bidding defiance to Prussia, from Grogwitz and the duchess her mistress of the wardwhere the prince has a hunting-lodge, and robe and ladies of honor just like arny other where his dominions are separated by the and more potent potentates. 304 VANITY FAIR. The constitution is or was a moderate what a burst of feeling she rushed into Eldespotism, tempered by a chamber that vino's arms —almost fit to smother hinm! might or might not be elected. I never Whereas the little Lederlung-but a truce certainly could hear, of its sitting in my to this gossip —the fact is, that these two time at Pumpernickel. The prime minis- women were the two flags of the French ter had lodgings in a second floor; and the and the English party at Pumpernickel, and foreign secretary occupied the comfortable the society was divided in its allegiance to lodgings over Zwieback's Conditorey. The those two great nations. army consisted of a magnificent band that We had on our side the home minister, also did duty on the stage, where it was the master of the horse, the duke's private quite pleasant to see the worthy fellows secretary, and the prince's tutor: whereas marching in Turkish dresses with rouge on of the French party were the foreign minisand wooden scimetars, or as Roman war- ter, the commander-in-chief's lady, who had riors with ophicleides and trombones-to see served under Napoleon, and the Hof-Marthem again, I say, at night, after one had list- schall and his wife, who was glad enough to ened to them all the morning in the Aurelius get the fashions from Paris, and always had Platz, where they performed opposite the them and her caps by M. de Macabau's Cafe where we breakfasted. Besides the courier. The secretary of his chancery band, there was a rich and numerous staff was little Grignac, a young fellow, as maof officers, and, I believe, a few men. Be- licious as Satan, and who made caricatures sides the regular sentries, three or four of Tapeworm in all the albums of the men habited as hussars, used to do duty at place. the palace, but I never saw them on horse- Their head-quarters and table d'h6te,oack, and au fait, what was the use of were established at the Elephant, the other cavalry in a time of profound peace?- inn of the town; and though, of course, and whither the deuce should the hussars these gentlemen were obliged to be civil in ride? public, yet they cut at each other with epiEvery body-every body that was noble grams that were as sharp as razors, as I of course, for as for the Bourgeois we could have seen a couple of wrestlers in Devonnot quite be expected to take notice of them shire, lashing at each other's shins, and never -visited his neighbor. H. E. Madame de showing their agony upon a muscle of their Burst received once a week, H. E. Ma- faces. Neither Tapeworm nor Macabau dame de Schnurrbart had her night-the ever sent home a dispatch to his governtheater was open twice a week, the court ment, without a most savage series of attacks graciously received once, so that a man's life upon his rival. For instance, on our side might in fact be a perfect round of pleasure we would write, " The interests of Great in the unpretending Pumpernickel way. Britain in this place, and throughout the -That there were feuds in the place, no whole of Germany, are periled by the conone can deny. Politics ran very high at tinuance in office of the present French enPumpernickel, and parties were very bitter. voy; this man is of a character so infamous There was the Strumpff faction and the that he will stick at no falsehood, or hesitate Lederlung party, the one supported by our at no crime, to attain his ends. H-Ie poisons envoy and the other by the French Chargfe the mind of the court against the English d'Affaires, M. de Macabau. Indeed it suf- minister, represents the conduct of Great ficed for our minister to stand up for Ma- Britain in the most odious and atrocious dame Strumpff, who was clearly the great- light, and is unhappily backed by a minister est singer of the two, and had three more whose ignorance and necessities are as no notes in her voice than Madame Lederlung torious as his influence is fatal." On their her rival-it sufficed, I say, for our minister side they would say, "M. de Tapeworm to advance any opinion to have it instantly continues his system of stupid insular arrocontradicted by the French diplomatist. gance and vulgar falsehood against the greatEvery body in the town was ranged in est nation in the world. Yesterday he was one or other of these factions. The Leder- heard to speak lightly of her royal highness lung was a prettyish little creature certainly, madame the Duchess of Berri: on a former and her voice (what there was of it), was occasion he insulted the heroic Duke of very sweet, and there is no doubt that the Angouleme, and dared to insinuate that Strumpff was not in her first youth and H. R. H. the Duke of Orleans was conspirbeauty, and certainly too stout; when she ing against the august throne of the lilies. came on in the last scene of the Sonnam- His gold is prodigated in every direction bula for instance, in her night-chemise with which his stupid menaces fail to frighten. a lamp in her hand, and had to go out of the By one and the other, he has won over window, and pass over the plank of the mill, the creatures of the court here, and, in fine, it was all she could do to squeeze out of the Pumpernickel will not be quiet, Germany window, and the plank used to bend and tranquil, France respected, or Europe concrack again under her weight-but how she tent, until this poisonous viper be crushed poured out the finale of the opera! and with under heel:" and so on. When one side or A NOVEL WITHOUT A 1-E1t'LO. 305 the other had written any particularly spicy envoy got both. "He is covered with rib dispatch, news of it was sure to slip out. bons like a prize cart-horse," Tapeworm Before the winter was far advanced it is said, who was not allowed by the rules of his actually on record that Emmy took a night service to take any decoratiorns: "Let him and received company with great propriety have the cordons; but with whom is.the and modest.y. She had a French master victory?" The fact is, it was a triumph of who tomplitnented her upon the purity of British diplomacy: the French party hayher. accent and her facility of learning; the ing proposed and tried their utmost to carry fact is she had learned long ago, and ground- a marriage with a princess of the House of ed herself subsequently in the grammar so Potztausend-Donnerwetter, whom, as a matas to be able to teach it to George; and ter of course, we opposed. Madame Strumpff came to give her lessons E&very body was asked to the fdtes of the in singing, which she performed so well and marriage. Garlands and triumphal arches with such a true voice that the major's win- were hung across the road to welcome the dows, who had lodgings opposite under the young bride. The great Saint M3ichael's prime minister, were always open to hear Fountain ran with uncommonly sour wine, the lesson. Some of tne German ladies, while that in the Artillery-place frothed who are very sentimental and simple in their with beer. The great waters played; and tastes, fell in love with her and began to call poles were put up in the park and gardens her dcu at once. These are trival details, for the happy peasantry, which they mnight but they relate to happy times. The major climb at their leisure, carrying off watches, made himself George's tutor, and read Ctesar silver forks, prize sausages hung with pink and mathlematics with him, and they had a ribbon, &c., at the top. Georgy got one. German master, and rode out of evenings by wrenching it off, having swarmed up the pole the side of Emnmy's carriage —she.was al- to the delight of the spectators, and sliding ways too timid, and made a dreadful outcry down with the rapidity of a fall of water. at the slightest- disturbance on horseback. But it was for the glory's sake merely. The So she drove about with one. of her dear boy gave the sausage -to a peasant, who had German friends, and Jos asleep on the back- very nearly seized it, and stood at the foot seat of the barouche. of the mast, blubbering, because, he was unHe was becoming very sweet upon the successful. Grafinn Fanny de Butterbrod, a very gentle, At the Freneh Chancellerie they had six tender-hearted and unassuming young creat- more lampions in their illuminations than ure, a canoness and countess in her own ours had; but our transparency, which reright, but with scarcely ten pounds per year presented the young couple advancing, and to her fortune, and Fanny for her part de- discord flying away, with the most ludicrous cdared that to be Amelia's sister was the likeness to the French embassador, beat the greatest delight that heaven could bestow on French picture hollow; and I have no doubt her, and Jos might have put a countess's got Tapeworm the advancement and the shield and coronet by the side of his own Cross of the Bath, which he subsequently arms on his carriage and forks; when- attained. when events occurred, and those grand Crowds of foreigners arrived for the fbtes: f6tes given upon the marriage of the hered- and of English of course. Besides the court itary prince of Pumpernickel with the lovely balls, public balls were given at the Town Princess Amelia of Humbourg-Schlippen- Hall and the Redoute, and in the former schloppen took place. place there was a room for trente-et-quarante At this festival the magnificence displayed and roulette established, for the week of the was such as had not been known in the little festivities only, and by one of the great GerGerman place since the days of the prodigal mnan companies from Ems or Aix-la-ChaVictor XIV. All the neighboring princes, pelle. The officers or inhabitants of the princesses, and grandees were invited to the town were not allowed to play at these feast. Beds rose to half-a-crown per night games, but strangers, peasants, ladies were in Pumpernickel, and the army was ex- admitted, and any one who chose to lose or hausted in providing guards of honor for the win money. highnesses, serenities, and excellencies, who That little scapegrace, Georgy Osborne, arrived from alliquarters. The princess was among others, whose pockets were always married by proxy, at her father's residence, full of dollars, and whose relations were by the Count de Schlusselback. Snuff-boxes away at the grand festival of the court, came were given away in profusion (as we learned to the Stadthaus ball in company of his fiom the court-jeweler, who sold and after- uncle's courier, Mr. Kirsch, and having only ward bought them again), and bushels of peeped into a play-room at Baden-Baden the order of Saint Michael of Pumpernickel when he hung on Dobbin's arm, and where, were sent to the nobles of the court, while of course, he was not permitted to gamble, hampers of the cordons and decorations of came eagerly to this part of the entertainthe wheel of St. Catherine of Schlippen- ment, and hankered round the tables where schloppen were brought to ours: the French the croupiers and the punters were at work. U 306 VANITY FAIR. Women were playing; they were masked, we have said, and going up to him, asked some of them; this license was allowed in how he dared to bring Mr. George to such these wild times of carnival. a place. A woman with light hair, in a low dress, "Laissez-moi tranquille," said Mr. Kirsch, by no means so fresh as it had been, and very much excited by play and wine. "II with a black mask on, through the eyelets faut s'amruser, parbleu. Je ne suis pas au of which her eyes twinkled strangely, was service de Monsieur." seated at one of the roulette-tables with a Seeing his condition the major did not card and a pin, and a couple of florins before choose to argue with the man; but contenther. As the croupier called out the color ed himself with drawing away George, and and number, she pricked on the card with asking Jos if he would come away. He was great care and regularity, and only ventured standing close by the lady in the mask, who her money on the colors after the red or was playing with pretty good luck now; black had come up a certain number of and looking on much interested at the game. times. It was strange to look at her. 1" Hadn't you better come, Jos," the maBut in spite of her care and assiduity she jor said, "with George and me?" guessed wrong, and the last two florins fol- I'll stop and go home with that rascal, lowed each other under the croupier's rake, Kirsch," Jos said; and for the same reason as he cried out with his inexorable voice, of modesty, which he thought ought to be the winning color and number. She gave a preserved before the boy, Dobbin did not sigh, a shrug with her shoulders, which care to remonstrate with Jos, but left him were already too much out of her gown, and walked home with Georgy. and dashing the pin through the card on to " Did you play?" asked the major, when the table, sat thrumming it for a while. they were out, and on their way home. Then she looked round her, and saw Georgy's The boy said " No." honest face staring at the scene. Tlie little "Give me your word of honor as a gentlescamp! what business had he to be there? man, that you never will." When she saw the boy, at whose face "Why," said the boy: "It seems very she looked hard through her shining eyes good fun." And, in a very eloquent and and mask, she said, "l Monsieur n'est pas impressive manner, the major showed him joueur." why he shouldn't, and would have enforced " Non, Madame," said thE boy: but she his precepts by the example of Georgy's must have known, from his accent of what own father, had he liked to say any thing country he was, for she answered him with that should reflect on the other's memory. a slight foreign tone. "You have nevare When he had.housed him he went to bed, played-will you do me a, littl' favor?" and saw his light, in the little room outside "' What is it?" said Georgy, blushing of Amelia's, presently disappear. Amelia's again. Mr. Kirsch was at work for his part followed half an hour afterward. I don't at the rouge et noir, and did not see his know what made the major note it so accuyoung master. rately. "Play this for me, if you please, put it Jos, however remained behind over the on any number, any number." And she play table; he was no gambler, but not took from her bosom a purse, and -out of it a averse to the little excitement of the sport gold piece, the only coin there, and she put now and then; and he had some Napoleons it into George's hand. The boy laughed, chinking in the embroidered pockets of his and did as he was bid. court waistcoat. He put down one over the It came up the number, sure enough. fair shoulder of the little gambler before There is a power that arranges that, they him, and they won. She made a little say, for young beginners. movement to make room for him by her "Thank you," said she, pulling the money side, and just took the skirt of her gown toward her; "thank you. What is your firom a vacant chair there. name?" " Come and give me good luck," she said, " My name's Osborne," said Georgy, and still in a foreign accent, quite different from was fingering in his own pockets for dollars, that fiank and perfectly English " Thank and just about to make a trial, when the you," with which she had saluted Georgy's major in his uniform, and Jos, en Marquis, coup in her favor. The portly gentleman, from the court ball, made their appearance. loolking round to see that nobody of rank obOther people finding the entertainment stu- served him, sat down; he muttered —" Ah, pid, and preferring the fun at the Stadthaus, really, well now, God bless my soul. I'm had quitted the palace ball earlier; but it is very fortunate; I'm sure to give you good probable the major and Jos had gone home fortune,"'-and other words of compliment and found the boy's absence, for the former and confusion. instantly went up to him, and taking him by "Do you play much?" the foreign mask the shoulder, pulled him briskly back from said. the place of temptation. Then, looking "I put a Nap or two down," said Jos, round the room, he saw Kirsch employed as with a superb air, flinging down a gold piece. A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 307 "Yes; ay, nap after dinner," said the out that your modesty has any occasion to mask archly. But Jos looking frightened, show alarm or sense of outrage, and it has she continued, in her pretty French accent, been the wish of the present writer, all " You do not play to win. No more do I. through this story, deferentially to submit to I play to forget, but I can not. I can not the fashion at present prevailing, and only to forget old times, Monsieur. Your little hint at the existence of wickedness in a light, nephew is the image of his father; and you easy, and agreeable manner, so that nobody's -you are not changed-but yes, you are. fine feelings may be offended. I defy any Every body changes, every body forgets; one to say that our Becky, who has certainly nobody has any heart." some vices, has not been presented to the "Good God, who is it?" asked Jos in a public in a perfectly genteel and inoffensive flutter. manner. In describing this siren, singing " Can't you guess, Joseph Sedley?" said and smiling, coaxing and cajoling, the anthe little woman, in a sad voice, and undoing thor, with modest pride, asks his readers all her mask, she looked at him. "You have round, has he once forgotten the laws of forgotten me." politeness, and showed the monster's hide" Good heavens! Mrs. Crawley!" gasped ous tail above water? No! Those who out Jos. like may peep down under waves that are "Rebecca," said the other, putting her pretty transparent, and see it writhing and hand on his; but she followed the game twirling, diabolically hideous and slimy, flapstill, all the time she was looking at him. ping among bones, or curling round corpses; "I am stopping at the Elephant," she but above the water-line, I ask, has not continued. " Ask for Madame de Raudon. every thing been proper, agreeable, and decI saw my dear Amelia to-day; how pretty orous, and has any the most squeamish imshe looked, and how happy! So do you! moralist in Vanity Fair a right to cry fie? Every body but me, who am wretched, Jo- When, however, the siren disappears and seph Sedley." And she put her money dives below, down among the dead men, the over from the red to the black, as if by a water of course grows turbidover her, and chance movement of her hand, and while it is labor lost to look into it ever so curiously. she was wiping her eyes with a pocket- They look pretty enough when they sit handkerchief fringed with torn lace. upon a rock, twanging their harps and combThe red came up again, and she lost the ing their hair, and sing,. and beckon to you whole of that stake. "Come away," she to come and hold the looking-glass; but said. " Come with me a little-we are old when they sink into their native element, ffiends, are we not, dear Mr. Sedley?" depend on it those mermaids are about no And Mr. Kirsch having lost all his money good, and we had best not examine the by this time, followed his master out into fiendish marine cannibals, reveling and feastthe moonlight, where the illuminations were ing on their wretched pickled victims. And winking out, and the transparency over our so, when Becky is out of the way, be sure' mission was scarcely visible. that she is not particularly well employed, and that the less that is said about her doings is in fact the better. If we were to give a full account 6f her CHAPTER LXIV. proceedings during a couple of years that followed after the Curzon-street catastroA VAGABOND cHAPTER. phe, there might be some reason for peoWE must pass over a part of Mrs. Rebec- ple to say this book was improper. The ca Crawley's biography with that lightness actions of very vain, heartless, pleasureand delicacy which the world demands-the seeking people are very often improper (as moral world, that has, perhaps, no particular are many of yours, my friend with the grave objection to vice, but an insuperable repug- face and spotless reputation; butthatis merenance to hearing vice called by its proper ly by the way); and what are those ofa womname. There are things we do and know an without faith-or love-or character?' -perfectly well in Vanity Fair, though we'And I am inclined to think that there was a never speak them: as the Ahrimanians wor- period in Mrs. Becky's life, when she was ship the devil, but don't mention him: and seized, not by remorse, but by a kind of de-,a polite public will no more bear to read an spair, and absolutely neglected her person, authentic description of vice than a truly-re- and did not even care for her reputation. fined English or American female will per- This abattemnent and degradation did not mit the word breeches to be pronounced in take place all at once: it was brought about her chaste hearing. And yet, madam, both by degrees, after her calamity, and after are walking the world before our faces every many struggles to keep up-as a man who day, without much shocking us. If you goes overboard hangs on to a spar while any were to blush every time they went by, hope is left and then flings it away and goes what complexions you would have! It is down, when he finds that struggling is in only when their naughty names are called vain. 308 VANITY FAIR. She lingered about London while her hus- She was probably so much occupied in band was making preparations for his depart- arranging these affairs of business with her ure, to his seat of government; and it is be- husband's lawyers, that she forgot to take lieved made more than one attempt to see any step whatever about her son, the little her brother-in-law, Sir Pitt Crawley, and to Rawdon, and did not even once propose to work upon his feelings, which she had al- go and see him. That young gentleman was most enlisted in her favor. As Sir Pitt and consigned to the entire guardianship of his Mr. Wenham were walking down to the aunt and uncle, the former of whom had alHouse of Commons, the latter spied Mrs. ways possessed a great share of the child's Rawdon in a black vail, and lurking near the affection. His mamma wrote to him a neat palace of the legislature. She sneaked away letter from Boulogne when she quitted Enwhen her eyes met those of Mr. Wenham, gland, in which she requested him to mind and indeed never succeeded in her designs his book, and said she was going to take a upon the baronet. continental tour, during which she would Probably Lady Jane interposed. I have have the pleasure of writing to him again. heard thatshe quite astonished herhusbandby But she never did for a year afterward, and the spirit which she exhibited in this quarrel, not, indeed, until Sir Pitt's only boy, always and her determination to disown Mrs. Becky. sickly, died of hooping-cough and measles; Of her own movement, she invited Rawdon then Rawdon's mamma wrote the most afto come and stop in Gaunt-street until his fectionate composition to her darling son, departure for Coventry Island, knowing that who was made heir of Queen's Crawley by with him for a guard Mrs. Becky would not this accident, and drawn more closely than try to force her door: and she looked curi- ever to the kind lady, whose tender heart ously at the superscriptions of all the letters had already adopted him. Rawdoa Crawwhich arrived for Sir Pitt, lest he and his ley, then grown a tall, fine lad, blushed when sister-in-law should be corresponding. Not he got the letter. "Oh, aunt Jane, you are but that Rebecca could have written had my mother!" he said; "and not-and not she a mind: -but she did not try to see or that one." But he wrote back a kind and to write to Pitt at his own house, and after respectful letter to Mrs. Rebecca, then living one or two attempts consented to his de- at a boarding-house at Florence. But we mand that the correspondence regarding her are advancing matters. conjugal differences should be carried on by Our darling Becky's first flight was not lawyers only. very far. She perched tupon the French The fact was, that Pitt's mind had been coast at Boulogne, that refuge of so much poisoned against her. A short time after exiled English innocence; and there lived Lord Steyne's accident, Wenham had been in rather a genteel, widowed manner, with a with the baronet; and given him such a biog- femme de chambre and a couple of rooms, at raphy of Mrs. Becky as had astonished the an hotel. She dined at the table d'h6te, member for Queen's Crawley. He knew where people thought her very pleasant, every thing regarding her: who her father and where she entertained her neighbors by was; in what year her mother danced at stories of her brother, Sir Pitt, and her the opera; what had been her previous his- great London acquaintance; talking that tory, and what her conduct during her mar- easy, fashionable slip-slop, which has so ried life; as I have no doubt that the great- much effect upon certain folks of small er part of the story was false and dictated breeding. She passed with many of them by interested malevolence, it shall not be for a peirson of importance; she gave little repeated here. But Becky was left with a tea-parties in her private room, and shared sad, sad reputation in the esteem of a coun- in the innocent amusements of the place-in try gentleman and relative who had been sea-bathing, and in jaunts in open carriages, once rather partial to her. in strolls on the sands, and in visits to the The revenues of the Governoi of Coven- play. Mrs. Burjoice, the printer's lady, try Island are not large. A part of them who was boarding with her farniily at the was set aside by his excellency for the pay- hotel for the summer, and to whom her ment of certain debts and the insurance of Burjoice came of a Saturday and Sunday, his life; the charges incident to his high sit- voted her charming; until that rogue of a unation required considerable expense: final- Burjoice began to pay her too much attenly, it was found that he could not spare to tion. But there was nothing in the story, his wife more than three hundred pounds only that Becky was always affable, easy, a year, which he proposed to pay to her on and- good-natured-and with men especially. an undertaking that she would never trouble Numbers of people were going abroad as himi. Otherwise: scandal, separation, Doc- usual at the end of the season; and Becky tors' Commons would ensue. But it was had plenty of opportunities of finding out by ~Mr. Wenham's business, Lord Steyne's bu- the behavior of her acquaintances of the siness, Rawdon's, every body's-to get her great London world the opinion of " society" out of the country, and hush up a most dis- as regarded her conduct. One day it was agreeable affair. Lady Partlet and her daughters whom A NOVEL WITHOUT A HtERO. 309 Becky confronted as she was walking mod- Th}ey did not avoid her. They giggled, estly on Boulogne pier, the cliffs of Albion -cackled, tattled, condoled, consoled, and pashining in the distance across the deep blue tronized her until they drove her almost sea. Lady Partlet marshaled all her daugh- wild with rage. To be patronized by them! ters round her with a sweep of her parasol, she thought, as they went away simpering and retreated from the pier, darting savage after kissing her. And she heard Beauglances at poor little Becky, who stood alone moris's laugh ringing on the stair, and knew there. quite well how to interpret his hilarity. On another day the packet came in. It It was after this visit that Becky, who had been blowing fresh, and it always suited had paid her weekly bills; Becky who had Becky's humor to see the droll, woe-begone made herself agreeable to every body in the faces of the people as they emerged from house-who smiled at the landlady, called the boat. Lady Slingstone happened to be the waiters 1" Monsieur," and paid the chamon board this day. Her ladyship had been 1bermaids in politeness and apologies, what far. exceedingly ill in her carriage, and was more than compensated for a little niggardgreatly exhausted, and scarcely fit to walk liness in point of money (of which Becky up the plank from the ship to the pier. But never was free), that Becky, we say, reall her energies rallied the instant she saw ceived a notice to quit from the landlord, Becky smiling roguishly under a pink bon- who had been told by some one that she was net: and giving her a glance of scorn, such quite an unfit person to have at his hotel as would have shriveled up most women, where English ladies would not sit down she walked into the custom house quite un- with her. And she was forced to fly into supported. Becky only laughed: but I lodgings, of which the dullness and solitude don't think she liked it. She felt she was were most wearisome to her. alone, quite alone; and the far-off shining Still she held up, in spite of these rebuffs, cliffs of England were impassable to her. and tried to make a character for herself, The behavior of the men had undergone and conquer scandal. She went to church too I don't know what change. Grinstone very regularly, and sang louder than any showed his teeth and laughed in her face body there. She took up the cause of the with a familiarity that was not pleasant. widows of the shipwrecked fishermen, and Little Bob Suckling, who was cap in hand gave work and drawings for the Quashyboo to her three months before, and would walk Mission: she subscribed to the assembly, a mile in the rain to see for her carriage in and wouldn't waltz. In a word, she did the line at Gaunt House, was talking to every thing that was respectable, and that Fitzoof of the Guards (Lord Heehaw's son) is why we dwell on this part of her career one day upon the jetty, as Becky took her with more fondness than upon subsequent walk there. Little Bobby nodded to her parts of her history, which are not so pleasover his shoulder without moving his hat, ant. She saw people avoiding her, and still and continued his conversation with the heir laboriously smiled upon them; you never of Heehaw. Tom Raikes tried to walk into could suppose from her countenance what her sitting-room at the inn with a cigar in pangs of humiliation she might be enduring his mouth; but she closed the door upon inwardly. him and would have locked it, only that his Her history was, after all, a mystery. fingers were inside. She began to feel that Parties were divided about her. Some she was very lonely indeed. " If he'd been people, who took the trouble to busy themhere," she said, " those cowards would never selves in the matter, said that she was the have dared to insult me." She thought criminal; while others vowed that she was about "him" with great sadness, and per- as innocent as a lamb, and that her odious haps longing-about his honest, stupid, con- husband was in fault. She won over a good stant kindness and fidelity; his never-ceasing many by bursting into tears about her boy, obedience; his good humor; his bravery and exhibiting the most frantic grief when and courage. Very likely she cried, for she his name was mentioned, or she saw any was particularly lively, and had put on a lit- body like him. She gained good Mrs. Aldertle extra rouge when she came down to din- ney's heart in that way, who was rather the ner. queen of British Boulogne, and gave the She rouged regularly now: ana-and her most dinners and balls of all the residents maid got Cognac for her besides that which there, by weeping when Master Alderney was charged in the hotel bill. came from Doctor Swishtail's academy to Perhaps the insults of the men were not, pass his holidays with his mother. "He however, so intolerable to her as the sympa- and her Rawdon were of the same age, and thy of certain women. Mrs. Crackenbury so like," Becky said, in a voice choking and Mrs. Washington White passed through with agony; whereas there was five years' Boulogne on their way to Switzerland. difference between the boys' ages, and no (-The party were protected by Colonel Horn- more likeness between them than between by, young Beaumoris, and, of course, old my respected reader and his humble servant dfrackenbury, and Mrs. White's little girl). Wenham, when he was going abroad, on his 310 VANITY FAIR. Sway to Kissengen to join Lord Steyne. en- quently at the table dc' hote of the hoter. lightened Mrs. Alderney on this point, and Mrs. Eagles had heard-who indeed had told her how he was much more able to de- not?-some of the scandal of the Steyne scribe little:Rawdon than his mamma, who affair; but after a conversation with Becky, notoriously hated him, and never saw him; she pronounced that Mrs. Crawley was an how he was thirteen years old, while little angel, her husband a ruffian, Lord Steyne,ld-,ruey was but nine; fair, while the an unprincipled wretch, as every body other darling was dark-in a word, caused knew, and the whole case against Mrs. the lady in question to repent of her good Crawley an infamous and wicked conspiracy humor. of that rascal Wenham. "If you were a Whenever Becky made a little circle for man of any spirit, Mr. Eagles, you would herself with incredible toils and labor, some- box the wretch's ears the next time you see body came and swept it down rudely, and himn at the club," she said to her husband. she had all her work to begin over again. But Eagles was only a quiet old gentleman, It was very hard: very hard: lonely, and husband to Mrs. Eagles, with a taste for disheartening. geology, and not tall enough to reach any There was Mrs. Newbright who took body's ears. her up for some time, attracted by the The Eagles then patronized Mrs. Rawsweetness of her singing at church, and by don, took her to live with her at her own her proper views upon serious subjects, con- house at Paris, quarreled with the embassacerning which, in former days, at Queen's dor's wife because she would not receive Crawley, Mrs. Becky had had a good deal her protegee, and did all that lay in woman's of instruction. Well, she not only took power to keep Becky straight in the paths tracts, but she read them. She worked of virtue and good repute. flannel petticoats for the Quashyboos —cot- Becky was respectable and orderly at ton nightcaps for the Cocoanut Indians- first, but the life of humdrum virtue grew painted hand-screens for the conversion of utterly tedious to her before long. It was the pope and the Jews-sate under Mr. the same routine every day, the same dullRowls, on Wednesdays, Mr. Huggleton on ness and comfort, the same drive over the Thursdays, attended two Sunday services same stupid Bois de Boulogne, the same at church, besides Mr. Bawler, the Darbyite, company of an evening, the same Blair's in the evening, and all in vain. Mrs. New- Sermon of a Sunday night-the same opera bright had occasion to correspond with the always being acted over and over again; Countess of Southdown about the Warm- Becky was dying of weariness, when, luckiingpan Fund for the Feejee Islanders (for ly for her, young Mr. Eagles came from the management of which admirable charity Cambridge, and his mother, seeing the imboth of these ladies formed part of a female pression which her little friend made upon committee), and having mentioned her him, straightway gave Becky warning. "sweet fiiend," Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, Then she tried keeping house with a the dowager countess wrote back such a female friend; then the double menage beletter regarding Becky, with such particu- gan to quarrel and get into debt. Then she lars, hints, facts, falsehoods, and general determined upon a boarding-house existcomminations, that intimacy between Mrs. ence, and lived for some time at that famous Newbright and Mrs. Crawley ceased forth- mansion kept by Madame de Saint Armour, with: and all the serious world of Tours, in the Rue Royale, at Paris, where she bewhere this misfortune took place, immedi- gan exercising her graces and fascinations ately parted company with the reprobate. upon the shabby dandies and fly-blown Those who know the English Colonies beauties who firequented her ladyship's abroad, know that we carry with us our salons. Becky loved society, and, indeed, pride, pills, prejudices, Harvey-sauces, cay- could no more exist without it than an enne peppers, and other lares, making a opium-eater without his dramin; and she was little Britain where we settle down. happy enough at the period of her boardingFrom one colony to another Becky fled- house life. "The women here are as uneasily. From Boulogne to Dieppe, fiom amusing as those in May-fair," she told an Dieppe to Caen, from Caen to Tours- old London friend who met her —" only trying with all her might to be respectable, their dresses are not quite so fresh. The and alas! always found out some day or men wear cleaned gloves, and are sad other, and pecked out of the cage by the rogues, certainly, but they are not worse real daws. than Jack This, and Tom That. The mis Mrs. Hook Eagles took her up at one of tress of the house is a little vulgar, but I these places-a woman without a blemish don't think she is so vulgar as Lady — " in her character, and a house in Portman- and here she named the name of a great square. She was staying at the hotel at leader of fashion that I would die rather Dieppe, whither Becky fled, and they made than reveal. In fact, when you saw Madeach other's acquaintance first at sea, where ame de Sainte Amour's rooms lighted up of they were swimming together, and subse- a night, men with plaques and cordons at the A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 311 tcarte tables, and the women at a little dis- the cards against Monsieur de Rossignol, or tance, you might fancy yourself for a while the Chevalier de Raff. in good society, and that madame was a real When Becky left Brussels, the sad truth countess. Many people did so fancy: and is, that she owed three months' pension to Becky was for a while one of the most dash- Madame de Borodino, of which fact, and of ing ladies of the countess's salons. the gambling, and of the drinking, and of the But it is probable that her old creditors of going down on her knees to the Reverend 1815 found her out, and caused her to leave Mr. Muff; Ministre Anglican, and borrowing Paris, for the poor little woman was forced imoney of him, and of her coaxing and flirtto fly from the city rather suddenly; and ing with Milor Noodle, son of Sir Noodle, went thence to Brussels. pupil of the Rev. Mr. Muff, whom she Howwellshe rememberedtheplace! She used to take into her private room, and of glinned as she looked up at the little entresol whom she won large sums at carte' —of which she had occupied, and thought of the which fact, I say, and of a hundred of her Bareacres family, bawling for horses and other knaveries, the Countess de Borodino flight, as'their carriage stood in the porte- informs every English person who stops cochere of'the hotel. She went to Waterloo at her establishment, and announces that and to Lacken, where George Osborne's Madame Rawdon was nothing better than a monument much struck her. She made a viTere, little sketch of it. "1 That poor Cupid!" she So our little wanderer went about setting said, "how dreadfully he was in love with up her tent in various cities of Europe, as me, and what a fool he was! I wonder restless as Ulysses or Bampfylde Moore whetherlittle Emmy is alive. It was a good Carew. Her taste for disrespectability little creature: and that fat brother of hers. grew more and more remarkable. She I have his funny, fat picture still among my became a perfect Bohemian ere long, herdpapers. They were kind, simple people." ing with people whom it would make your At Brussels Becky arrived, recommended hair stand on end to meet. by Madame de Saint Amour to her friend, There is no town of any mark in Europe Madame la Comtesse de Borodino, widow but it has its little colony of English raffsof Napoleon's general, the famous Count de men whose names Mr. Hemp the officer Borodino, who was left with no resource by reads out periodically at the Sheriffs' Court the deceased hero but that of a table-d' -young gentlemen of very good family hrte and an ecarte table. Second-rate dan- often, only that the latter disowns them; dies and roues, widow-ladies who always frequentersof billiard-rooms and estaminets, have a lawsuit, and very simple English patrons of foreign races and gaming-tables. folks, who fancy they see "Continental They people the debtors' prisons-they society" at these houses, put down their drink and swagger-they fight and brawlmoney, or ate their meals, at Madame de they run away without paying —they have Borodino's tables. At the table d' hote the duels with French and German officers — gallant young fellows treated the company they cheat Mr. Spooney at 6cart —they round to champagne, rode out with the get the' money, and drive off to Baden in women, or hired horses on country excur- magnificent britzkas-they try their infallible sons, clubbed money to take boxes at the martingale, and lurk about the tables with play or the opera, betted over the fair shoul- empty pockets, shabby bullies, penniless ders of the ladies at the gcarte tables, and bucks, until they can swindle a Jew banker wrote home to their parents in Devonshire, with a sham bill of exchange, or find anothabout their felicitous introduction to foreign er Mr. Spooney to rob. The alternations society. of splendor and misery which these people Here, as at Paris, Becky was a boarding- undergo are very queer to view. Their house queen: and ruled in select pensions. life must be one of great excitement. She never refused the champagne, or the Becky-must it be'owned? —took to this bouquets, or the drives into the country, or life, and took to it not unkindly. She went the private boxes; but what she preferred about from town to town among these Bowas the ecartg at night-and she played au- hemians. The lucky Mrs. Rawdon was daciously. First she played only for a little, known at every play-table in Germany. then for five-franc pieces, then for Napo- She and Madame de Cruchecassee kept leons, then for notes: then she would not house at Florence together. It is said she be able to pay her month's pension: then was ordered out of Munich; and my friend she borrowed from the young gentlemen: Mr. Frederic Pigeon asvers that it was at then she got into cash again, and bullied her house at Lausanne that he was hoMadame de Borodino, whom she had coaxed cussed at supper and lost eight hundred and wheedled before: then she was playing pounds to Major Loder and the Honorable for ten sous at a time, and in a dire state of Mr. Deuceace. We are bound, you see, poverty: then her quarter's allowance would to give some account of Becky's biography; come in, and she would pay off Madame de but of this part, the less, perhaps, that is Borodino's score: and would once more take said the better. 312 VANITY FAIR. They say that when Mrs. Crawley was resplendent with gilt frames, (containing particularly down on her luck, she gave pictures) and dubious antiques; and the concerts and lessons in music here and enormous gilt crown and arms of the princely there. There was a Madame de Raudon, owner, a gold mushroom on a crimson field who certainly had a matinee musicale at (the color of the pocket-handkerchiefs which Wildbad, accompanied by Herr Spoff, pre- he sold), and the silver fountain of the Pommier pianist to the Hospodar of Wallachia, pili family shone all over the roof, doors, and and my little friend Mr. Eaves, who knew panels of the house, and over the grand velevery!bdy, and had traveled every where, vet baldaquins prepared to receive popes always used to declare that he was at Stras- and emperors. burg in the year 1830, when a certain Mad- So Becky, who had arrived in the dilame Rebecque made her appearance in the igence from Florence, and was lodged at an opera of the Dame Blanche, giving occasion inn in a very modest way, got a card for to a furious row in the theater there. She Prince Polonia's entertainment, and her was hissed off the stage by the audience, maid dressed her with unusual care, and partly firom her own incompetency, but she went to this fine ball leaning on the arm chiefly fiom the ill-advised sympathy of of Major Loder, with whom she.happened some persons in the parquet, (where the to be traveling at the time; (the same man officers of the garrison had their admissions); who shot Prince Ravioli at Naples the next and Eaves was certain that the unfortunate year, and was caned by Sir John Buckskin debutante in question was no other than for carrying four kings in his hat besides Mrs. Rawdon Crawley. those which he used in playing at 6carte,)She was, in fact no better than a vagabond and this pair went into the rooms together, upon this earth. When she got her money and Becky saw a number of old faces which she gambled; when she had gambled it she she remembered in happier days, when she was put to shifts to live; who knows how was not innocent, but not found out. Major or by what means she succeeded? It is Loder knew a great number of foreigners, said that she was once seen at St. Peters- keen-looking whiskered men with dirty biurg, but was summarily dismissed from striped ribbons in their button-holes, and a that capital by the police, so that there can very small display of linen; but his own not be any possibility of truth in the re- countrymen, it might be remarked, eschewport that she was a Russian spy at T6plitz ed the major. Becky, too, knew some laand Vienna afterward. I have even been dies here and there-French widows, duinformed that at Paris she discovered a re- bious Italian countesses, whose husbands lation of her own, no less a person than her had treated them ill-faugh-what shall we maternal grandmother, who was not by any say, we who have moved among some-of the means a Montmorenci, but a hideous old finest company of Vanity Fair, of this refuse box-opener at a theater on the Boulevards. and sediment of rascals? If we play, let it The meeting between them, of which other be with clean cards, and not with this dirty persons as it is hinted elsewhere, seem to pack. But every man who has formed ono have been acquainted, must have been a of the innumerable army of tratelers has very affecting interview. The present his- seen these marauding irregulars hanging on. torian can give no certain details regarding like Nym and Pistol, to the main force; the event. wearing the king's colors, and boasting of It happened at Rome once, that Mrs. de his commission, but pillaging for themselves, Raudon's half-year's salary had just been and occasionally gibbeted by the road-side. paid into the principal banker's there, and, Well, she was hanging on the arm of Maas every body who had a balance of above jor Loder, and they went through the five hundred scudi was invited to the balls rooms together, and drank a great quantity which this.prince of merchants gave during of champagne at the buffet, where the psothe winter, Becky had the honor of a card, ple, and especially the major's irregular and appeared at one of the Prince and corps, struggled furiously for refreshments, Princess Polonia's splendid evening enter- of which when the pair had had enough, tainmrents. The princess was of the family they pushed on until they reached the of Pompili, lineally descended from the duchess's own pink velvet saloon, at the end second king of Rome, and Egeria of the of the suite of apartments (where the statue house of Olympus, while the prince's grand- of the Venus is, and the great Venice lookfather, Alessandro Polonia, sold wash-balls, ing-glasses, framed in silver), and where the essences, tobacco, and pocket-handkerchiefs, princely family were entertaining their most ran errands.for gentlemen, and lent money distinguished guests at a round table at supin a small way. All the great company in per. It was just such a little select banquet Rome thronged to his saloons —princes, as that of which Becky recollected that dukes, embassadors, artists, fiddlers, mon- she had partaken at Lord Steyne's-and signori, young bears with their leaders- there he sat at Polonia's table, and she saw every rank and condition of men. His halls hith. blazed with light and magnificence; were The scar cut by the diamond on his A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 313 white, bald, shining forehead, made a burn- Fenouil, his lordship's confidential man, who ing red mark; his red whiskers were dyed came up nodding to her rather familiarly, of a purple hue, which made his pale face and putting a finger to his hat. " I knew look still paler. He wore his collar and that madame was here," he said; "I folorders, his blue ribbon and garter. He was lowed her from her hotel. I have some ada greater prince than any there, though vice to give madame." there was a reigning duke and a royal high- "From the Marquis of Steyne?" Becky ness, with their princesses, and at his lord- asked, resuming as much of her dignity as ship's side was seated the beautiful Countess she could muster, and not a little agitated of Belladonna, nee de Glandier, whose hus- by hope and expectation. band (the Count Paolo della Belladonna) so "No," said the valet; "it is from me well known for his brilliant entomological Rome is very unwholesome." collections, had been long absent on a mis- "Not at this season, Monsieur Fenouil — sion to the Emperor of Morocco. not till after Easter." When Becky beheld that familiar and il- "I -tell madame it is unwholesome now.'ustrious face, how vulgar all of a sudden did There is always malaria for some people Major Loder appear to her, and how that That cursed marsh wind kills many at aY odious Captain Rook did smell of tobacco! seasons. Look, Madame Crawley, you In one instant she resumed her fine-lady- were always bon enfant, and I have an inship, and tried to look or feel as if she was terest in you, parole d'honneur. Be warned. in May Fair once more. " That woman Go away from Rome, I tell you-or you will looks stupid and ill-humored," sihe thought; be ill and die." "' I am sure she can't amuse him. No, he Becky laughed, though in rage and fury. must be bored by her-he never was by "What! assassinate poor little me?" she me." A hundred such touching hopes, said. " How romantic. Does my lord carfears, and memories palpitated in her little ry bravos for couriers, and stilettos in the heart, as she looked with her brightest eyes fourgons? Bah! I will stay, if but to plague (the rouge which she wore up to her eyelids him. I have those who will defend me made them twinkle) toward the great noble- while I am here." man. Of a Star and Garter night Lord It was Monsieur Fenouil's turn to laugh Steyne used also to put on his grandest now. "Defend you," he said, "and who? manner, and to look and speak like a great The major, the captain, any one of those prince, as he was. Becky admired him gambling men whom madame sees, would smiling sumptuously, easy, lofty, and state- take her life for a hundred Louis. We ly. Ah, bon dieu, what a pleasant compan- know things about Major Loder (he-is no ion he was, what a brilliant wit, what a rich more a major than I am my lord the marfund of talk, what a grand manner! and she quis) which would send him to the galleys had exchanged this for Major Loder, reek- or worse. We know every thing, and have ing of cigars and brandy-and-water, and firiends every where. We know whom you Captain Rook with his horse-jockey jokes saw at Paris, and what relations you found and prize-ring slang, and their like. "I won- there. Yes, madame may stare, but we der whether he will know me," she thought. do. How was it that no minister on the Lord Steyne was talking and laughing with continent would receive madame? She a great and illustrious lady at his side, when has offended somebody, who never forgives he looked up and saw Becky. — whose rage redoubled when he saw you. She was all over in a flutter as their eyes He was like a madman last night when he met, and she put on the very best smile she came home. Madame de Belladonna made could muster, and dropped him a little, timid, him a scene about you, and fired off in one imploring courtesy. He stared aghast at her of her furies." for a minute, as Macbeth might on behold- " O, it was Madame de Belladonna, was ing Banquo's sudden appearance at his ball- it?" Becky said, relieved a little, for the supper; and rerm'ained looking, at her with information she had just got had scared her. open mouth, when that horrid Major Loder " No-she does not matter-she is always pulled her away. jealous. I tell you it was Monseigneur.'Come away into the supper-room, Mrs. You did wrong to show yourself to him. R.," was-that gentleman's remark; "seeing And if you stay here you will repent it. these nobs grubbing away has made me Mark my words. Go! Here is my lord's peckish too. Let's go and try the old gov- carriage" - and seizing Becky's arm, he ernor's champagne." Becky thought the rushed down an alley of the garden as Lord major had had a great deal too much al- Steyne's barouche, blazing with heraldic deready. vices, came whirling along the avenue, borne The day after she went to walk on the by the almost priceless horses, and bearing Pincian Hil:l-the Hyde Park of the Ro- Madame de Belladonna lolling in the cushman idlers-possibly in hopes to have an- ions, dark, sulky, and blooming, a King other sight of Lord Steyne. But she met Charles in her lap, a white parasol swaying another acqulaintance there: it was Mr. over her head, and old Steyne stretched at 314 VANITY FAIR. her side with a livid face and ghastly eyes. ments, and England one of her loftiest pa Hate, or anger, or desire, caused them to triots and statesmen," &c., &c. brighten now and then still; but ordinarily, His will was a good deal disputed, and an they gave no light, and seemed tired of look- attempt was made to force from Madame ing out on a world of which almost all the de Belladonna the celebrated jewel called pleasure and all the best beauty had palled the "Jew's-eye" diamond, which his lordupon the worn- out, wicked old man. ship always wore on his forefinger, and which "Monseigneur has never recovered the it was said that she removed from it after shock of that night, never," Monsieur Fen- his lamented demise. But his confidential ouil whispered to Mrs. Crawley as the car- friend and attendant, Monsieur Fenouil, riage flashed by, and she peeped out at it proved that the ring had been presented to from behind the shrubs that hid her. "That the said Madame de Belladonna two days was a consolation at any rate," Becky before the marquis's death; as were the thought. bank notes, jewels, Neapolitan and French Whether my lord really had murderous bonds, &c., found in his lordship's secretaire, intentions toward Mrs. Becky, as Monsieur and claimed by his heirs, from that injured Fenouil said (since Monseigneur's death he woman. has returned to his native country, where he lives much respected, and has purchased firom his prince the title of Baron Finelli)- CHAPTER LXV. and the factotum objected to have to do with assassination; or whether he simply had a FULL OF BUSINESS AND PrEASURE. commission to frighten Mrs. Crawley out of THE day after the meeting at the play. a city where his lordship proposed to pass table, Jos had himself arrayed with unthe winter, and the sight of her would be usual care and splendor, and without thinkeminently disagreeable to the great noble- ing it necessary to say a word to any memman, is a point which has never been ascer- ber of his family regarding the occurrences tained: but the threat had its effect upon of the previous night, or asking for their the little woman, and she sought no more to company in his walk, he sallied forth at an intrude herself upon the presence of her old early hour, and was presently seen making patron. inquiries at the door of the Elephant Hotel. Every body knows the melancholy end of In consequence of the fetes the house was that nobleman, which befel at Naples two full of company, the tables in the streets months after the French Revolution of 1830; were already surrounded by persons smokwhen the most Honorable George Gustavus, ing and drinking the national small-beer, the Marquis of Steyne, Earl of Gaunt -and of public rooms were in a cloud of smoke, and Gaunt Castle, in the Peerage of Ireland, Mr. Jos having, in his pompous way, and Viscount Hellborough, Baron Pitchley and with his clumsy German, made inquiries Grillsby, a Knight of the Most Noble Order for the person of whom he was in search, of the Garter, of the Golden Fleece of Spain, was directed to the very top of the house, of the Russian Order of Saint Nicholas of above the first-floor rooms where some the First Class, of the Turkish Order of the traveling peddlers had lived, and were exCrescent, First Lord of the Powder Closet hibiting their jewelh'y and brocades; above and Groom of the Back Stairs, Colonel of the second-floor apartments occupied by the the Gaunt or Regent's Own Regiment of etat major of the gambling firm; above tile Militia, a Trustee of the British Museum, third-floor rooms, tenanted by the band of an elder Brother of the Trinity House, a renowned Bohemian vaulters and tumblers; Governor of the Grey Friars, and D.C.L., and so on to the little cabins of the roof; died, after a series of fits, brought on, as the where, among students, bag-men, small papers said, by the shock occasioned to his tradesmen, and countty-folks, come in for lordship's sensibilities by the downfall of the the festival, Becky had found a little nest; ancient French monarchy. as dirty a little refuge as ever beauty lay An eloquent catalogue appeared in a hid in. weekly print, describing his virtues, his mag- Becky liked the life. She was at home nificence, his talents, and his good actions. with every body in the place —peddlers, His sensibility, his attachment to the illustri- punters, tumblers, students, and all. She ous House of Bourbon, with which he claim- was of a wild, roving nature, inherited from ed an alliance, were such that he could not father and mother, who were both Bohesurvive the misfortunes of his august kins- mians, by taste and circumstance; if a lord men. His body was buried at Naples, and was not by, she would talk to his courier his heart-that heart which always beat with the greatest pleasure; the din, the with every generous and noble emotion- stir, the drink, the smoke, the tattle of the was brought back to Castle Gaunt in a silver Hebrew peddlers, the solemn, braggartkways urn. "In him," Mr. Wagg said, "the poor of the poor tumblers, the sonorous talk"'f the and the fine arts have lost a beneficent pa- gambling-table officials, the songs and swagtron, society one of its most brilliant orna- ger of the students, and the general- buzz A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 315 and hum of the place had pleased and tick- yonder on the chair;"' and she gave the led the little woman, even When her luck civilian's hand a little squeeze, and laughwas down, and she had not wherewithal to ingly placed him upon it. As for herself. pay her bill. How pleasant was all this bus- she placed herself on the bed —not on the tie to her now that her purse was full of bottle and plate, you may be sure-on which money, which little Georgy had won for her Jos might have reposed, had he chosen that the night before! seat; and so there she sate and talked with As Jos came creaking and puffing up the her old admirer. final stairs, and was speechless when he got " How little years have changed you," to the landing, and began to wipe his face she said, with a look of tender interest. and then to look for No. 92, the room where "I should have known you any where; he was directed to seek for the person he what a comfort it is among strangers to see wanted, the door of the opposite chamber, once more the frank, honest face of an old No. 94, was open, and a student, in jack- friend!" boots and a dirty schlafrock, was lying on the The filank, honest face, to tell the truth, bed smoking a long pipe; while another stu- at this moment bore any expression but one dent, in long yellow hair and a braided coat, of openness and honesty; it was, on the exceeding smart and dirty too, was actually contrary, much perturbed and puzzled in on his knees at No. 92, bawling through the look. Jos was surveying the queer little keyhole supplications to the person within. apartment in which he found his old flame. "Go away," said a well-known voice, One of her gowns hung over the bed, anwhich made Jos thrill, "I expect some- other depending firom a hook of the door: body; I expect my grandpapa. He mustn't her bonnet obscured half the looking-glass, see you there." on which, too, lay the prettiest little pair of "Angel Englanderinn!" bellowed the bronze boots; a French novel was on the kneeling student with the whity-brown table by the bedside, with a candle, not of ringlets and large finger-ring, "do take wax. Becky had thought of popping that compassion upon us. Make an appoint- into the bed too, but she only put in the little ment. Dine with me and Fitz at the inn paper nightcap, with which she had put the in the park. We will have roast pheasants candle out on going to sleep. and porter, plum-pudding and French wine. " I should have known you any where," We shall die if you don't." she continued; a woman never forgets some " That we will," said the young noble- things. And you were the first man I ever man on the bed —and this colloquy Jos over- -I ever saw." heard, though he did not comprehend it, for "Was I, really?" said Jos. "God bless the reason that he had never studied the my soul-you-you don't say so." language in which it was carried on. "When I came with your sister fiom "Newmero kattervang dooze si vous plait," Chiswick, I was scarcely more than a child," Jos said in his grandest manner, when he Becky said. "How is that dear love? Oh, was able to skpeak. her husband was a sad, wicked man; and', Quater fang tooce!" said the student, of course, it was of me that the poor dear starting up, and he bounced into his own was jealous. As if I cared about him, room, where he locked the door, and where heigho: when there was somebody-but Jos heard him laughing'Witl his comrade on no-don't let us talk of old times;" and she the bed. passed her handkerchief with the tattered The gentleman from Bengal was standing lace across her eyelids. disconcerted by this incident when the door "Is not this a strange place," she conof the 92 opened of itself, and Becky's little tinued, "for a woman who has lived in a head peeped out full of archness and mis- very different world, too, to be found in? chief. She lighted on Jos. " It's you," I have had so many griefs and wrongs, she said, coining out. "How I have been Joseph Sedley, I have been made to suffer waiting for you! Stop! not yet-in one so cruelly, that I am almost made mad someminute you shall come in." In that instant times. I can't stay still in any place, but she put a rouge-pot, a brandy-bottle, and a wander about always restless and unhappy. plate of broken meat into the bed, gave one All my friends have been false to me-all. smooth to her hair, and finally let in her There is no such thing as an honest man in visitor. the world. I was the truest wife that ever She had, by way of morning robe, a pink lived, though I married my husband out of domino, a trifle faded and soiled, and mark- pique, because somebody else-but never ed here and there with pomatum; but her mind that. I was true, and he trampled arms shone out friom the loose sleeves of the upon me, and deserted me. I was the dress very white and fair, and it was tied fondest mother. I had but one child, one round her little waist, so as not ill to set off darling, one hope, one joy, which I held to the trim little figure of the wearer. She my heart. with a mother's affection, which led Jos by the hand into her garret. "Come was my life, my prayer, my —my blessing; in," she said. "Comne, and talk to me. Sit and they-they tore it from me-tore iA 316 VANITY FAIR. friom me;" and she put her hand to her great solemnity, and there imparted to him heart with a passionate gesture of despair, the affecting history with which he had just burying her face for a moment on the bed. been made acquainted, without, however. The brandy- bottle inside clinked against mentioning the play business of the night the plate which held the cold sausage. before. And the two gentlemen were layBoth were moved, no doubt, by the exhi- ing their heads together, and consulting as bition of so much grief. Max and Fritz to the best means of being useful to Mrs. were at the door listening with wonder to Becky, while she was finishing her inter Mrs. Becky's sobs and cries. Jos, too, was rupted djeuiner a lafourchette. a good deal frightened and affected at seeing How was it that she had come to that his old flame in this condition. And she little town? How was it that she had no began, forthwith, to tell her story-a tale so friends and was wandering about alone? neat, simple, and artless, that it was quite Little boys at school are taught in their earevident from hearing her, that if ever there liest Latin book, that the path of Avernus was a white-robed angel escaped from heav- is very easy of descent. Let us skip over en to be subject to the infernal machinations the interval in the history of her downward and villainy of fiends here below-that spot- progress. She was not worse now than less being-that miserable, unsullied martyr, she had been in the days of her prosperity, was present on the bed before Jos-on the only a little down on her luck. bed, sitting on the brandy-bottle. As for Mrs. Amelia she waska woman of They had a very long, amicable, and con- such a soft and foolish disposition, that when fidential talk there; in the course of which, she heard of any body unhappy, her heart Jos Sedley was somehow made aware (but straightway melted toward the sufferer; and in a manner that did not in the least scare as she had never thought or done any thing or offend him) that Becky's heart had first mortally guilty herself, she had not that ablearned to beat at his enchanting presence: horrence for wickedness which distinguishes that George Osborne had certainly paid an moralists much more knowing.l If she unjustifiable court to her, which might ac- spoiled every body who came near her with count for Amelia's.jealousy, and their little kindness and compliments-if she begged rupture; but that Becky never gave the pardon of all her servants for troubling them least encouragement to the unfortunate of- to answer the bell-if she apologized to a ficer, and that she had never ceased to think shop-boy who showed her a piece of silk, or about Jos from the very first day she had made a courtesy to a street-sweeger, with a seen him, though, of course, her duties as a complimentary remark upon the elegant state married woman were paramount- duties of his crossing —and she was almost capable which she had always preserved, and would, of every one of these follies-the notion that to her dying day, or until the proverbially an old acquaintance was miserable was sure bad climate in which Colonel Crawley was to soften her heart; nor would she hear of living, should release her from a yoke which any body's being deservedly unhappy. A his cruelty had rendered odious to her. world under such legislation as hers, would Jos went away convinced that she was the not be a very orderly place of abode; blt most virtuous, as she was one of the most there are not many women, at least not of fascinating of women, and revolving in his the rulers who are of her sort. This lady, mind all sorts of benevolent schemes for her I believe, would have abolished all jails, welfare. Her persecutions ought to be end- punishments, handcuffs, whippings, poverty, ed: she ought to return to the society of sickness, hunger, in the world; and was which she was an ornament. He would such a mean-spirited creature, that —we see what ought to be done. She must quit are obliged to confess it-she could even that place, and take a quiet lodging. Amelia forget a mortal iniury. must come and see her, and befriend her. When the major heard from Jos of the He would go and settle about it, and- consult sentimental adventure which had just bewith the major. She wept tears of heart- fallen the latter, he was not, it must be confelt gratitude as she parted from him, and fessed, nearly as much interested as the pressed his hand as the gallant stout gentle- gentleman from Bengal. On the contrary, man stooped down to kiss hers. his excitement was quite the reverse from So Becky bowed Jos out of her little gar- a pleasurable one; he made use of a brief ret with as much grace as if it was a palace but improper expression regarding a pool of which she did the honors; and that heavy woman in distress, saying, in fact-" the gentleman having disappeared down the little minx, has she come to light again?" stairs, Hans and Fritz came out of their He never had had the slightest liking for hole, pipe in mouth, and she amused her- her, but on the contrary, had heartily misself by mimicking Jos to them as she trusted her from the very first moment munched her cold bread and sausage and when her green eyes had looked at, and took draughts of her favorite brandy and turned away from, his own.,vater. "That little devil brings mischief whereJos walked over to Dobbin's lodgings with ever she goes," the major said, disrespect A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 317 fully. ", Who knows what sort of life she back into Amelia's gentle hea't, and caused has been leading; and what business has she a cruel agitation there. here abroad and alone? Don't tell me "Don't let me see her," Emmy contin about persecutors and enemies; an honest ued. "I couldn't see her." woman always has fiiends, and never is sep- "I told you so," Dobbin said to Jos. arated from her family. Why has she left "She is very unhappy, and-that sort of her husband? He may have been disrep- thing," Jos urged. "She is very poor and utable and wicked, as you say. He always unprotected; and has been ill-exceedingly was. I remember the confounded black- ill-and that scoundrel of a husband has deleg, and the way in which he used to cheat serted her." and hoodwink poor George. Wasn't there " Ah!" said Amelia. a scandal about their separation? I think I "She hasn't a fiiend in the world," Jos heard something," cried out Major Dobbin, went on, not undexterously; "and she who did not care much about gossip; and said she thought she might trust in you. whom Jos tried in vain to convince that Mrs. She's so miserable, Emmy. She has been Becky was in all respects a most injured and almost mad with grief. Her story quite afvirtuous female. fected me:-'pon my word and honor it "Well, well; let's ask Mrs. George," did —never was such a cruel persecution said that arch-diplomatist of a major. " Only borne so angelically, I may say. Her farmlet us go and consult her. I suppose you ily has been most cruel to her." will allow that she is a good judge at any "Poor creature!" Amelia said. rate, and knows what is right in such mat- "And if she can get no friend, she says ters." she thinks she;ll die," Jos proceeded, in a'UrHm! Emmy is very well," said Jos, low, tremulous voice. "God bless my soul! who did not happen to be in love with his do you know that she tried to kill herself. sister. She carries laudanum with her-1 saw the " Very well? by Gad. sir, she's the finest bottle in her room-such a miserable little lady I ever met in my life," bounced out room-atathird-ratehouse,the Elephant,up the major, "I say at once, let us go and in the roof at the top of all. I went there." ask her if this woman ought to be visited or This did not seem to affect Emmy. She not-I will be content with her verdict." even smiled a little. Perhaps she figured Now this odious, artful rogue of a major Jos to herself panting up the stair. was thinking in his own mind that he was "She's beside herself with grief," he resure of his case. Emmy, he remembered, sunmed. " The agonies that woman has enwas at one time cruelly and deservedly dured are quite frightful to hear of. She had jealous of Rebecca, never mentioned her a little boy, of the same age as Georgy." name but with a shrinking and terror-a "Yes, yes, I think I remember," Emrmy jealous woman never forgives, thought Dob- remarked. " Well?" bin: and so the pair went across the street "The most beautiful child ever seen," Jos to Mrs. George's house, where she was said, who was very fat, and easily moved, contentedly warbling at a music-lesson with and had been touched by the story Becky Madame Strumpff. told; "a perfect angel, who adored his When thatlady took her leave, Jos open- mother. The ruffians tore him shrieking ed the business with his usual pomp of out of her arms, and have never allowed words. "Amelia, my dear," said he, "I him to see her." have just had the most extraordinary —yes "Dear Joseph," Emmy cried out, start-God bless my soul! the most extraordi- ing up at once, " let us go and see her this nary adventure-an old firiend-yes, a most minute." And she ran into her adjoining interesting old friend of yburs, and I may bed-chamber, tied on her bonnet in a flutter, say in old times, has just arrived here, and came out with her shawl on her arm, and I should like you to see her." ordered Dobbin to follow. "Her!" said Amelia, "who is it? Ma- He went and put her shawl-it was a jor Dobbin, if you please not to break my white Cashmere, consigned to the major scissors." The major was twirling them himself firom India —over her shoulders. round by the little chain from which they He saw there was nothing for it but to obey; sometimes hung to their lady's waist, and and she put her hand into his arm, and they was thereby endangering his own eye. went away. "It is a woman whom I dislike very "It is number 92, up four pair of stairs," much," said the major doggedly; "and Jos said, perhaps not very willing to ascend whom you have no cause to love." the steps again; but he placed himself in "It is Rebecca, I'm sure it is Rebecca," the window of his drawing-room, which Amelia said blushing, and being very much commands the place on which the Elephant agitated. stands, and saw the pair mnarching through "You are right; you always are," Dob- the market. bin answered. Brussels, Waterloo, old, old It was as well that Becky saw them too timnes, griefs, pangs, remembrances, rushed from her garret; for she and the two stu 318 VANITY FAIR. dents were chattering and laughing there; "My agonies," Becky ctutinued, "were they had been joking about the appearance terrible (I hope she won't sit down on the of Becky's grandpapa-whose arrival and bottle) when they took him away from me; departure they had witnessed-but she had I thought I should die; but I fortunately time to dismiss them, and have her little had a brain fever, during which my doctor room clear before the landlord of the Ele- gave me up, and-and I recovered, and —and phant, who knew that Mrs. Osborne was a here I am poor and friendless." great favorite at the Serene Court, and re- "How old is he?" Emmy asked. spected her accordingly, led the way up "Eleven," said Becky. the stairs to the roof-story, encouraging "Eleven!" cried the other. Why, he Miladi and the Herr major as they achieved was born the same year with Georgy, who the ascent. is-" "Gracious lady, gracious lady!" said the "I know, I know," Becky cried out, who landlord, knocking at Becky's door; he had had in fact quite forgotten all about little called her madame the day before, and was IRawdon's age. "Grief has made me forget by no means courteous to her. so many things, dearest Amelia. I am very "Who is it?" Becky said, putting out much changed: half wild sometimes. He her head, and she gave a little scream. was eleven when they took him away from There stood Emmy in a tremble, and Dob- me. Bless his sweet face; I have never seen bin, the tall major, wyith his cane. it again." He stood still watching, and very much "Was he fair or dark?" went on that interested at the scene; but Emmy sprang absurd little Emmy. "Show me his hair." forward with open arms toward Rebecca, Becky almost laughed at her simplicity. and forgave her at that moment, and em- " Not to-day, love-some other time, when braced her and kissed her with all her heart. my trunks arrive from Leipzig, whence I Ah, poor wretch, when was your lip press- came to this place-and a little drawing of ed before by such pure kisses? him, which I made in happy days." " Poor Becky, poor Becky!" said Emmy "How thankful, how thankful I ought to CHAPTER LXVI. be!" (though I doubt whether that practice of piety inculcated upon us by our womanAMANRTIIUIJM IRS. kind in early youth, namely, to be thankful FRANKNzSS and kindness such as Ame- because we are better off than somebody lia's were likely to touch even such a harden- else, be a very rational religious exercise); ed little reprobate as Becky. She returned and then she began to think as usual, how Emmy's caresses and kind speeches with her son was the handsomest, the best, and something very like gratitude, and an emo- the cleverest boy in the whole world. tion that, if it was not lasting, for a moment "You will see my Georgy," was the was almost genuine. That was a lucky best thing Emmy could think of to console stroke of hers about the child " torn fiom Becky. If any thing could make her comher armns shrieking." It was by that har- fortable that would. rowing misfortune that Becky had won her And so the two women continued talking fiiend back, and it was one of the very first for an hour or more, during which, Becky points, we may be certain, upon which our had the opportunity of giving her new fiiend poor simple little Emmy began to talk to a full and complete version of her private her new-found acquaintance. history. She showed how her marriage "And so they took your darling child with Rawdon Crawley had always been fri-ol you," our simpleton cried out. "Oh, viewed by the family with feelings of the Rebecca, my poor, dear, suffering fiiend, I utmost hostility-: how her sister-in-law (an know what it is to lose a boy, and to feel for artful woman) had poisoned her husband's those who have lost one. But please Heav- mind against her; how he had formed odien, yours will he restored to you, as merci- ous connections, which had estranged his ful, merciful Providence has brought me affections from her; how she had borne back mine." every thing —poverty, neglect, coldness firom i' The child, my child? Oh, yes, my ag- the being whom she most loved —and all for onies were frightful," Becky owned, not the sake of her child; how, finally, and by perhaps without a twinge of conscience. It the most flagrant outrage, she had been iarred upon her, to be obliged to commence driven into demanding a separation fiom her instantly to tell lies in reply to so much con- husband, when the wretch did not scruple fidence and simplicity. But that is the mis- to ask that she should sacrifice her own fair fortune of beginning with this kind of forgery. fame so that he might procure advancement When one fib becomes due, as it were, you through the means of a very great and powmust forge another to take up the old accept- erful but unprincipled man —the Marquis of ances, and so the stock of your lies in circu- Steyne, indeed. The atrocious mnonster! lotion inevitably multiplies, and the danger This part of her eventful history Becky of detection increases everiy day. gave with the utmost feminine delicacy, and A NOVEL WIT''HO'UT A HERO. 319 the most indignant virtue. Forced to fly drinking-bouts at the neighboring Univerher husband's roof by this insult, the coward sity of Schoppenhausen, fi'om which reo had pursued his revenge, by taking her child nowned seat of learning they had just come fiom her. And thus Becky said she was a in the Eilwagen, with Becky, as it appearwanderer, poor, unprotected, friendless, and ed, by their side, and in order to be present wretched. at the bridal fetes at Pumpelrnickel. Emmy received this story, which was told " The little Englanderinn seems to be enf at some length, as those persons who ate bays de gonnoissance," said Max, who knew acquainted with her character may, imagine the French language, to Fritz, his comrade. that she would. She quivered with indig- "After the fat grandfather went away, there nation at the account of the conduct of the came a pretty little compatriot. I heard miserable Rawdon and the unprincipled them chattering and whimpering together in Steyne. Her eyes made notes of admira- the little woman's chamber." tion for every one of the sentences in which "We must take the tickets for her conBecky described the persecutions of her cert," Fritz said. "Hast thou any money, aristocratic relatives, and the falling away Max?" of her husband. (Becky did not abuse him. " Bali," said the other,' the concert is a She spoke rather in sorrow than in anger. concert in nubibus. Hans said that she adShe had loved him only too fondly: and was he vertised one at Leipzic: and the Burschen not the father of her boy?) And as for the took many tickets. But she went off withseparation-scene from the child, while Becky out singing. She said in the coach yesterwas reciting it, Emmy retired altogether be- day that her pianist had fallen ill at Dresden. hind her pocket handkerchief, so that the She can not sing, it is my belief: her voice consummate little tragedian must have been is as cracked as thine, O thou beer-soaking charmed to see the effect which her per- Renowner!" formance produced on her audience. " It is cracked; I heard her trying out of While the ladies were carrying on their her window a schrecklich English ballad, conversation, Amelia's constant escort, the called'D e Rose upon de Balgony.'" major, who, of course, did not wish to in- " Saufen und singen go not together," obterrupt their conference, and finding himself served Fritz with the red nose, who evidentrather tired of creaking about the narrow ly preferred the former amusement. No, stair passage of which the roof brushed the thou shalt take none of her tickets. She nap from his hat, descended to the ground- won money at the trente and quarante lasi floor of the house and into the great room night. I saw her: she made a little Encommon to all the frequenters of the Ele- glish boy play for her. We will spend thy phant, out of which. the stair led. This money there or at the theater, or we will apartment is always in a fume of smoke, and treat her to French wine or Cognac in the liberally sprinkled with beer. On a dirty Aurelius Garden, but the tickets we will not table stand scores of corresponding brass buy. What sayest thou? Yet, another candlesticks with tallow candles for the lodg- mug of beer?" and one and another succesers, whose keys hang up in rows over the sively having buried their blond whiskers in candles. Emmy had passed blushing through the mawkish draught, curled them and the room anon, where all sorts of people swaggered off into the fair. were collected: Tyrolese glove-sellers and The major, who hiad seen the key of number Danubian linen-merchants, with their packs; 90 put up on its hook, and had heard the constudents recruiting themselves with butter- versation of the two young university bloods, brods and meat; idlers, playing cards or was not at a loss to understand that their dominoes on the sloppy, beery tables; tum- talk related to Becky. " The little devil blers refrieshing during the cessation of their is at her old tricks," he thought, and he performances; in a word, all the fimum and smiled as he recalled old days, when he had strepitus of a German-inn in fair time. The witnessed the desperate flirtation with Jos, wvaiter brought the major a mug of beer, as and the htkdicrous end of that adventure.. matter of course; and he took out a cigar, He and George had often laughed over it seld amused himself with that pernicious subsequently, and until a few weeks. after iegetable and a newspaper until his charge George's marriage, when he seemed to be should come down to claim him.' caught in the little Circe's toils too, and had Max and Fritz came presently down an understanding with her which his comstairs, their caps on one side, their spurs iade might have suspected, but preferred to jingling, their pipes splendid with coats-of- ignore. William was too much hurt or arms and full-blown tassels; and they hung ashamed to ask to fathom that disgraceful up the key of'No. 90 on the board, and call- mystery, although once, and evidently with ed for the ration of butterbrod and beer. remorse on his mind, George had alluded to The pair sate down by the major, and fell it. It was on the morning of Waterlco as into a conversation of which he could not the young men stood together in front of the help hearing somewhat. It was mainly about line, surveying the black masses of French-'Fuchs" and 1"Philister," and duels and men who crowned the opposite heights, and 320 VANITY FAIR. as the rain wats coming down, " I nave aeen the first floor; le had been pacing the room, mixing in a foolish intrigue with a woman," and biting his nails, and looking over the George said.'" I am glad we were marched market-place toward the Elephant a hunaway., If I drop, I hope Emmy will never dred times, at least, during the past hour, know of that business. 1 wish to God it had while Emmy was closeted with her frieno never been begun!" And William was pleas- in the garret, and the major was beating the ed to think, and had more than once soothed tattoo on the sloppy tables of the public poor George's widow with the narrative, room below; and he was, on his side too, that Osborne, after quitting his wife, and af- very anxious to see Mrs. Osborne. ter the action Quatre Bras, on the first day, " Well?" said he. spoke gravely and affectionately to his com- "The poor dear creature, how she has rade of his father and his wife. On these suffered!" Emmy said. facts, too, William had insisted very strong- "God bless my soul, yes," Jos said, wag ly in his conversations with the elder Os- ging his head, so that his cheeks quivered borne: and had thus been the means' of like jellies, reconciling the old gentleman to his son's " She may have Payne's room, who can memory, just at the close of the elder man's go up-stairs," Emmy continued. Payne life. was a staid, English maid, and persona " And so this devil is still going on with attendant upon Mrs. Sedley, to whom the her intrigues," thought William. " I wish courier, as in duty bound, paid court, and she were a hundred miles from here. She whom Georgy used to "lark," dreadfully, brings mischief wherever she goes." And with accounts of German robbers and ghosts. he was pursuing these forebodings and this She passed her time chiefly in grumbling, in uncomfortable train of thought, with his ordering about her mistress, and in stating head between his hands, and the " Pumper- her intention to return the next morning to nickel Gazette" of last week unread under her native village of ClaphAm. " She may his nose, when somebody tapped his shoul- have Payne's room," Emmy said. der with a parasol, and he looked up and saw " Why, you don't mean to say you are Mrs. Amelia. going to have that woman into the house?" This woman had a way of tyrannizing over bounced out the major, jumping up. Major Dobbin (for the weakest of all people " Of course we are," said Amelia, in the will domineer over somebody), and she or- most innocent way in the world.' "Don't dered him about, and patted him, and made be angry, and break the furniture, Major him fetch and carry just as if he was a great Dobbin. Of course we are going to have Newfoundland dog. He liked, so to speak, her here." to jump into the water if she said " High "Of course, my dear," Jos said. Dobbin!" and to trot behind her with her "The poor creature, after all her sufferreticule in his mouth. This history has ings," Emmy continued: "her horrid banker been written to very little purpose if the broken and run away: her husband-wicked reader has not perceived that the major was wretch-having deserted her, and taken her a spooney. child away fiom her (here she doubled her 1"Why did you not wait for me, sir, to two little fists, and held them in a most escort me down stairs?" she said, giving a menacing attitude before her, so that the little toss of her head, and a most sarcastic major was charmed to see such a dauntless courtesy. virago), the poor, dear thing! quite alone, 1" I couldn't stand up in the passage," he and absolutely forced to give lessons in answered, with a comical deprecatory look, singing to get her bread-and not have her and delighted to give her his arm, and to here!" take her out of the horrid, smoky place; "Take lessons, my dear Mrs. George," he would have walked off without even so cried the major, 1" but don't have her in the much as remembering the waiter, had not house. I implore you don't. the young fellow run after him, and stopped "Pooh," said Jos. him on the threshold of the Elephant to make "You who are always good and kind him pay for the beer which he had not con- always used to be at any rate: I'm astonish sumed. Emmy laughed: she called him a ed at you, Major William," Amelia cried. naughty man, who wanted to run away in " Why, what is the moment to help her but debt; and, in fact, made some jokes suitable when she is so miserable? Now is the time to the occasion and the small-beer. She was to be of service to her. The oldest friend in high spirits and good humor, and tripped I ever had, and not-" across the market-place very briskly. She "She was not always your friend, Amewanted to see Jos that instant. The major lia," the major said, for he was quite angry. laughed at the impetuous affection Mrs. This allusion was too much for Emmy, who, Amelia exhibited; for, in truth, it was not looking the major most fiercely in the face, very often that she wanted her brother said, " For shame, Major Dobbin!" and after that instant." -- having fired this shot, she walked out of the They found the civilian in his saloon on room with a most majestic air, and shut her A NOVEL WITHOUT A EPRO. 321 own door briskly on herself and her outraged tency to defend his own honor, his desire dignity. not to have his affairs meddled with, his in"To allude to that!"- she said, when the tention, in fine, to rebel against the major, door was closed. "'1Oh it was cruel of him when the colloquy — rather a long and to remind meof it;" and she looked up at stormy one-was put an end to in the George's picture, which hung there as usual, simplest way possible, namely, by the arwith the portrait of the boy underneath. rival of Mrs. Becky, with a porter from the,"It was cruel of him. If I had forgiven it, Elephant Hotel, in charge of her very meaought he to have spoken? No. And it was ger baggage. from his own lips that I know how wicked She greeted her host with affectionate and groundless my jealousy was; and that respect, and made a shrinking, but amicable, you were pure. Oh, yes, you were pure, salutation to Major Dobbin, who, as her my saint in heaven!" instinct assured her at once, was her eneShe paced the room trembling and indig- my, and had been speaking against her; and nant. She went and leaned on the chest the bustle and clatter consequent upon her of drawers over which the picture hung, arrival brought Amelia out of her room, who and gazed and gazed at it. Its eyes seemed went up and embraced her guest with the to look down on her with a reproach that greatest warmth, and took no notice' of the deepened as she looked. The early, dear,- major, except to fling him an angry lookdear memories of that brief prime of love the most unjust and scornful glance that rushed back upon her. The wound which had perhaps ever appeared in that poor little years had scarcely cicatrized bled afresh; woman's face since she was born. But she and oh, how bitterly! She could not bear had private reasons of her own, and was the reproaches of the husband there before bent on being angry with him. And Dobher. It couldn't be. Never, never. bin, indignant at the injustice, not at the dePoor Dobbin; poor old William? That feat, went off, making her a bow quite as unlucky word had undone the work of many haughty as the killing courtesy with which a year-the long, laborious edifice of a life the little woman chose to bid him farewell. of love and constancy-raised too upon what He being gone, Emmy was particularly secret and hidden foundations, wherein lay lively and affectionate to Rebecca, and buried passions, uncounted struggles, un- bustled about the apartments, and installed known sacrifices-a little word was spoken, her guest in her room with an eagerness and down fell the fair palace of hope-one and activity seldom exhibited by our placid word, and away flew the bii'd, which he had little friend. But when an act of injustice been trying all his life to lure! is to be done, especially by weak people, it William, though he saw by Amelia's looks is best that it should be done quickly; and that a great crisis had come, nevertheless Emmy thought that she was displaying a continued to implore Sedley in the most great deal of firmness, and proper feeling and energetic terms to beware of Rebecca: and veneration for the late Captain Osborne in he eagerly, almost frantically, adjured Jos her present behavior. not to receive her. He besought Jos eager- Georgy came in from the fetes for dinnerly to inquire at least regarding her: told him time, and found four covers laid as usual; how he had heard that she wasl in the com- but one of the plates was occupied by a panly of gamblers, and people of ill repute: lady, instead of by Major Dobbin. Hullo! pointed out what evil she had done in former where's Dob?" the young gentleman asked, days: how she and Crawley had misled with his usual simplicity of language. " Mapoor George into ruin: how she was now jor Dobbin is dining out, I suppose," his parted from her husband, by her own con- mother said; and drawing the boy to her, fession, and, perhaps, for good reason. WVhat kissed him a great deal, and put his hair off a dangerous companion she would be for his his forehead, and introduced him to Mrs. sister who knew nothing of the affairs of the Crawley. "This is my boy, Rebecca," world! William implored Jos, with all the Mrs. Osborne said-as much as to say-can eloquence which he could bring to bear, and the world produce any thing like that? a great deal more energy than this quiet gen- Becky looked at him with rapture, and tleman was ordinarily in the habit of show- pressed his hand fondly. " Dear boy," she ing, to keep Rebecca out of his household. said, "he is just like my --— " Emotion Had he been less violent, or more dex- choked her further utterance; but Amelia terous, he might have succeeded in his sup- understood, as.well as if she had spoken, plications to Jos; but the civilian was not a that Becky was thinking of her own blessed little jealous of the airs of superiority which child. However, the company of her friend the major constantly exhibited toward him, consoled Mrs. Crawley, and she ate a very as he fancied (indeed he had imparted his good dinner. )pinions -to Mr. Kirsch, the courier, whose During the repast, she had occasion to bills Major Dobbin checked on this journey, speak several times, when Georgy eyed her and who sided with his master), and he and listened to her. At the dessert Emmy began a blusteripg speech about his compe- was gone out to superintend fulrther domes X 322 VANITY FAIR. tic arrangements: Jos was in his great chair lodgings all the lights in the Sedley tene. dozing over Galignani: Georgy and the new ment were put out. He could not see her arrival sat close to each other: he had con- till the morning. I don't know what sort of tinued to look at her knowingly more than a night's rest he had with this fiightful seonce, and at last he laid down the nut-crack- cret in bed with him. ers. At the earliest convenient hour in the "I say," said Georgy. morning he sent his servant across the way "Whatdoyousay?" Beckysaid,laughing. with a note, saying, that he wished very " You're the lady I saw in the mask at the particularly to speak with her. A message Rouge et Noir." came back to say, that Mrs. Osborne was "'Hush! you little sly creature," Becky exceedingly unwell, and was keeping her said, taking up his hand and kissing it. room. "Your uncle was there too, and mamma She, too, had been awake all that night. mustn't know." She had been thinking of a thing which had "O Oh, no! not by no means," answered agitated her mind a hundred times before. the little fellow. A hundred times on the point of yielding, "You see we are quite good friends al- she had shrunk back firom a sacrifice which ready," Becky said to Emmy, who now re- she felt was too much for her. She couldn't, entered; and it must be owned that Mrs. in spite of his love and constancy, and her Osborne had introduced a most judicious and own acknowledged regard, respect, and amiable companion into her house. gratitude. What are benefits, what is constancy, or merit? One curl of a girl's ringWilliam, in a state of great indignation, let, one hair of a whisker, will turn the scale though still unaware of all the treason that against them all in a minute. They did not was in store for him, walked about the town weigh with Emmy more than with other wildly until he fell upon the Secretary of women. She had tried them; wanted to Legation, Tapeworm, who invited him to make them pass; could not; and the pitiless dinner. As they were discussing that meal, little woman had found a pretext, and. deterhe took occasion to ask the secretary wheth- mined to be free. er he knew any thing about a certain Mrs. When at length, in the afternoon, the Rawdon Crawley, who had, he believed, major gained admission to Amelia, instead of made some noise in London; and then the cordial and affectionate greetingto which Tapeworm, who of course knew all the he had been accustomed now for many a London gossip, and was besides a relative long day, he received the salutation of a of Lady Gaunt, poured out into the aston- courtesy, and of a little gloved hand, retracted ished major's ears such a history about the moment after it was accorded to him. Becky and her husband as astonished the Rebecca, too, was in the room, and ad querist, and supplied all the points of this vanced to meet him with a smile and an exnarrative, for it was at that very table years tended hand. Dobbin drew back rather conago that the present writer had the pleasure fusedly. " I —I beg your pardon, ma'am," of hearing-Tufto, Steyne, the Crawleys, he said; "but I am bound to tell you that it and their history-every thing connected is not as your friend that I am come here with Becky and her previous life, passed now." under the record of the bitter diplomatist. "Pooh! damn; don't let us have this sort He knew every thing and a great deal be- of thing!" Jos cried out, alarmed, and anxious sides, about all the world; in a word, he to get rid of a scene. made the most astounding revelations to the "I wonder what Major Dobbin has to say simple-hearted major. When Dobbin said against Rebecca?" Amelia said in a low, that Mrs. Osborne and Mr. Sedley had taken clear voice, with a slight quiver in it, and her into their house, he burst into a peal of a very determined look about the eyes. laughter which shocked the major, and ask- " I will not have this sort of thing in my ed if they had not better send into the prison, house," Jos again interposed. " I say, I will and take in one or two of the gentlemen in not have it: and Dobbin, I beg, sir, you'll shaved heads and yellow jackets, who swept stop it." And, he looked round trembling, the streets of Pumpernickel, chained in pairs, and turning very red, and gave a great puff, to board and lodge, and act as tutor to that and made for his door. little scapegrace Georgy. "Dear friend!" Rebecca said with a.ngelic This information astonished and horrified sweetness, "do hear what Major Dobbin the major not a little. It had been agreed has to say against me." in the morning (before meeting with Rebec- "I will not hear it, I say," slueaked out ca) that Amelia should go to the court ball Jos at the top of his voice, and, gathering that night. There would be the place up his dressing-gown, was gone. to tell her. The major went home and "We are only two women," Amelia said. dressed himself in his uniform, and repaired "You can speak now, sir." to court, in hopes to see Mrs. Osborne. She "This manner toward me is one which never came. When he returned to his scarcely becomes you, Amelia," the major A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 323 answered haughtily; "nor, I believe, am I back, Amelia," and she came. Dobbin bowguilty of habitual harshness to women. It is ed to Mrs. Crawley, as he shut the door not a pleasure to me to do the duty which I upon her. Amelia looked at him, leaning am come to do." against the glass: her face and her lips were "Pray, proceed with it quickly, if you quite white. please, Major Dobbin," said Amelia, who "I was confused when'I spoke just now,' was more and more in a pet. The expres- the major said, after a pause; " and I mission of Dobbin's face, as she spoke in this used the word authority." imperious manner, was not pleasant. "You did," said Amelia, with her teeth "I came to say-and as you stay, Mrs. chattering. Crawley, I must say it in your presence- "At least I have claims to be heard,' that I think you-you ought not to form a Dobbin continued. member of the family of my friends. A 1" It is generous to remind me of our ob lady who is separated from her husband, ligations to you," the woman answered. who travels not under her own name, who "The claims I mean, are those left me frequents public gaming-tables-" by George's father," William said. "It was to the ball I went," cried out "Yes, you insulted his memory. You Becky. did yesterday. You know you did. And 1 " — is not a fit companion for Mrs. Os- will never forgive you. Never!" said Ameborne and her son," Dobbin went on: "' and lia. She shot out each little sentence in a I may add that there are people here who tremor of anger and emotion. know you, and who profess to know that re- "You don't mean that, Amelia?" Willgarding your conduct about which I don't iam said, sadly. " You don't mean that even wish to speak before-before Mrs. Os- these words, uttered in a hurried moment. borne." are to weigh against a whole life's devotion. "Yours is a very modest and convenient I think that George's memory has not been sort of calumny, Major Dobbin," Rebecca injured by the way in which I have dealt said.'" You leave me under the weight of with it, and if we are come to bandying rean accusation which, after all, is unsaid. proaches, I at least merit none from his What is it? Is it unfaithfulness to my hus- widow'and the mother of his son. Reflect, band? I scorn it, and defy any body to afterward when-when you are at leisure, prove it-I defy you, I say. My honor is and your conscience will withdraw this acas untouched as that of the bitterest enemy cusation. It does even now." Amelia held who ever maligned me. Is it of being poor, down her head. forsaken, wretched, that jyou accuse me? "It is not that speech of yesterday," he Yes, 1 am guilty of those faults, and punish- continued, " which moves you. That is but ed for them every day. Let me go, Emmy. the pretext, Amelia, or I have loved you and It is only to suppose that I have not met watched you for fifteen years in vain. Have you, and I am no worse to-day than I was I not learned in that time to read all your yesterday. It is only to suppose that the feelings, and look into your thoughts? I night is over and the poor wanderer is on know what your heart is capable of: it can her way. Don't you remember the song cling faithfully to a recollection, and cherish we used to sing in old, dear old days? I a fancy; but it can't feel such an attachment have been wandering ever since then —a as mine deserves to mate with, and such as poor castaway, scorned for being miserable, I would have won fiom a woman more genand insulted because I am alone. Let me erous than you. No, you are not worthy go: my stay here interferes with the plans of the love which I have devoted to you. I of this gentleman." knew all along that the prize 1 had set my "Indeed it does, madam," said the major. life on was not worth the winning; that 1 was " If I have any authorlity in this house-" a fool, with fond fancies too, bartering away "Authority, none!" broke out Amelia. my all of truth and ardor against your little "' Rebecca, you stay with me. I won't de- feeble remnant of love. I will bargain no sert you, because you have been persecuted, more: I withdraw. I find no fault with you. or insult you, because-because Major Dob- You are very good-natured, and have done bin chooses to do so. Come away, dear." your best; but you couldn't-you couldn't And the two women made toward their reach up to the height of the attachment door. which I bore you, and which a loftier soul ~ William opened it. As they were going than yours might have been proud to share. out, however, he took Amelia's hand, and Good-by, Amelia! I have watched your said-" Will you stay a moment and speak struggle. Let it end. We are both weary to me?" of it." " He wishes to speak to you away from Amelia stood scared and silent as WVilliam me," said Becky, looking like a martyr. thus suddenly broke the chain by which she Amelia griped her hand in reply. held him, and declared his independence and "Upon my honor it is not about you that superiority. He had placed himself at her [ am going to speak," Dobbin said. " Come feet so long that the poor little woman had 324 VANITY FAIR. been accustomed to trample upon him. She Emmy gave a little start, but said nothing. didn't wish to marry him, but she wished to "Hullo!" Georgy continued, "there's keep him. She wished to give him noth- Francis coming out with the portmanteaus, ing, but that he should give her all. It is a and Kunz, the one-eyed postillion, coming bargain not unfrequently levied in love. down the market with three schimmels. William's sally had quite broken and cast Look at his boots and yellow jacket-ain't her down. Her assault was long since over he a rum one? Why, they're puitting the and beaten back. horses to Dob's carriage. Is he going any " Am I to understand then-that you are where?" going-away —William?" she said. " Yes," said Emmy; " he is going on a He gave a sad laugh. "I went once journey." before," he said, " and came back after "Going a journey! And when is he twelve years. We were young then, Ame- coming back!" lia. Good-by. I have spent enough of my " He is-not coming back," answered life at this play." E mmy. While they had been talking, the door " Not coming back!" cried out Georgy, into Mrs. Osborne's room had opened ever jumping up. "Stay here, sir," roared out so little; indeed, Becky had kept a hold of Jos. "Stay, Georgy," said his mdther, the handle, and had turned it on the instant with a very sad face. The boy stopped; when Dobbin quitted it; and she heard kicked about the room; jumped up and every word of the conversation that had down from the window-seat with his knees, passed between these two. "What a noble and showed every symptom of uneasiness heart that man has," she thought,;"and how and curiosity. shamefully that woman plays with it." She The horses were put to. The baggage admired Dobbin; she bore him no rancor was strapped on. Francis came out with for the part he had taken against her. It his master's sword, and cane, and umbrella was an open move in the game, and played tied up together, and laid them in the well, fairly. "Ah!" she thought, "if I could and his desk and old tin cocked-hat case, have'had such a husband as that —a man which he placed under the seat. Francis with a heart and brains too! I would brought out the stained old blue cloak, lined not have minded his large feet;" and, run- with red carnlet, which had wrapped the ning into her room, she absolutely bethought owner up any time these fifteen years, and herself of something, and wrote himn a note, had manchen Sturm erlebt, as a favorite song beseeching him to stop for a few days-not of those days said. It had been new for to think of going-and that she could serve the campaign of Waterloo, and had covered him with A. George and William after the night of The parting was over. Once more poor Quatre Bras. William walked to the door and was gone; Old Burcke, the landlord of the lodgings, and the little widow, the author of all this came out, then Francis, with more packwork, had her will, and had won her vic- ages-final packages-then Major William. tory, and was left to enjoy it as she best Burcke wanted to kiss him. The major was might. Let the ladies envy her triumph. adored by all people with whom he had to At the romantic hour of dinner, Mlr. do. It was with difficulty he could escape Georgy made his appearance, and again rie- from this demonstration of attachment. marked the absence of " Old Dob." The "'By Jove, I will go 1" screamed out meal was eaten in silence by the party; George. "Give him this," said Becky, Jos's appetite not being diminished, but quite interested, and put a paper into the Emmy taking nothing at all. boy's hand. He had rushed down the stairs After the meal, Georgy was lolling in the and flung across the street in a minute. cushions of the old window —a large win- The yellow postillion was cracking his whip dow, with three sides of glass abutting from gently. the gable, and commanding on one side the William had got into the carriage, released Market Place, where the Elephant is, and from the embraces of his landlord. George in front the opposite side of" Goswell-street bounded in afterward and flung his. arms over the way," like the immortal casement round the major's neck (as they saw firom of Mr. Pickwick,-Georgy, I say, was loll- the window), and began asking him multiing in this window, his mother being busy plied questions. Then he felt in his waisthard by, when he remarked symptoms of coat pocket, and gave him a note. William movement at the major's house on the other seized at it rather eagerly, he opened it side of the street. trembling, but instantly his countenance "Hullo!" said he, "there's Dob's trap changed, and he tore the paper in two and -they are bringing it out of the court- dropped it out of the carriage. He kissed yard." The " trap" in question was a car- Georgy on the head, and the boy got out, riage which the major had bought for six doubling his fists into his eyes, and with the pounds sterling, and about which they used aid of Francis. He lingered with his hand to rally him a good deal. on the panel. "Fort, Schwager!" The yel A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 32 low postillion cracked his whip prodigiously, open carriage. He asked little parties, and up sprang Francis to the box, away went invented festivities to do her honor.'Tapethe schimlnels, and Dobbin with his head worm, the secretary of legation, who had on his breast. He never looked up as they abused her so cruelly, came to dine with passed under Amelia'swindow; and Georgy, Jos, and then came every day to pay his left alone in the street, burst out crying in respects to Becky. Poor Emmy, who was the face of all the crowd. never very talkative, and more glum and siEmmy's maid heard him howling again lent than ever after Dobbin's departure, was during the night, and brought him some quite forgotten when this superior genius preserved apricots to console him. She made her appearance. The French minismingled her lamentations with his. All the ter was as much charmed with her as his poo', all the humble, all honest folks, all English rival. The German ladies, never good men who knew him, loved that kind- particularly squeamish as regards morals, hearted and simple gentleman. especially in English people, were delighted As for Enlmy, had she not done her with the cleverness and wit of Mrs. Osduty? She had her picture of George for borne's charming friend; and though she a consolation. did not ask to go to court, yet the most august and transparent personages there heard of her fascinations, and were quite curious to know her. When it became CHAPTER LXVII. known that she was noble, of an ancient WHICH CONTAINS BIRTHSS MARRIAGES, AND English family, that her husband was a sDEATHS colonel of the guard, excellenz, and gover-nor of an island, only separated from his lady by WHATEVER Becky's private plan might one of those trifling differences which are of be by which Dobbin's true love was to be little account in a country where "Wercrowned with success, the little woman ther" is still read, and the "Wahlverwandthought that the secret might keep, and in- schaften" of Goethe is considered an edifydeed, being by no means so much interested ing moral book, nobody thought of refusing about any body's welfare as about her own, to receive her in the very highest society of she had a great number of things pertaining the little duchy, and the ladies were even to herself to consider, and which concerned more ready to call her du, and to swear her a great deal more than Major Dobbin's eternal friendship for her, than they had happiness in this life. been to bestow the same inestimable bene — She found herself suddenly and unex- fits upon Amelia. Ixove and Liberty are pectedly in snug, comfortable quarters, sur- interpreted by those simple Germans in a rounded by fi-iends, kindness, and good- way which honest folks in Yorkshire and natured, simple people, such as she had not Somersetshire little understand, and a lady met with for many a long day; and, wan- might, in some philosophic and civilized derer as she was, by force and inclination, towns, be divorced ever so many times fiom there were moments when rest was pleas- her respective husbands, and keep her chaant to her; as the most hardened Arab that racter in society. Jos's house never was so ever careered across the desert over the pleasant, since he had a house of his own, hump of a dromedary, likes to repose some- as Rebecca caused it to be. She sung, she times under the date-trees by the water, or played, she laughed, she talked in two or to come into the cities, walk in the bazaars, three languages, she brought every body to refresh himself in the baths, and say his the house, and she made Jos believe that it prayers in the mosques, before he goes out was his own great social talents and wit again marauding. Jos's tents and pilau which gathered the great soci6ty of the were pleasant to this little Ishmaelite. She place round about him. picketed her steed, hung up her weapons, As for Emmy, who found herself not in and warmed herself comfortably by his fire. the least mistress of her own house, except The halt in that roving, restless life, was when the bills were to be paid, Becky soon inexpressibly soothing and pleasant to her. discovered the way to soothe and please her. So, pleased herself, she tried with all her She talked to her perpetually about Major might to please every body, and we know Dobbin sent about his business, and made that she was eminent and successful as a no scruple of declaring her admiration for practitioner in the art of giving pleasure. As that excellent, high-minded gentleman, and for Jos, even in that little interview in the of telling Emmy that she had behaved most garret at the Elephant Inn, she had found cruelly regarding him. Emnmy defended means to win back a great deal of his good her conduct, and showed that it was dicwill. In the course of a week the civilian tated only by the purest religious principles; was her sworn slave and frantic admirer. that a woman once, &c., and to such an He didn't go to sleep after dinner, as his angel as him whom she had had the good forcustom was, in the much less lively society tune to marry, was married forever; but of Amelia. He drove out with her in his she had no objection to hear the major 326 VANITY FAIR. praised as much as ever Becky chose to the society of Mr. Joseph), and then the praise him, and indeed brought the conver- mother and sonused to talk about the major in sation round to the Dobbin subject a score a way which even made the boy smile. She of times every day. told him that she thought Major William was Means were easily found to win the favor the best man in all the world; the gentlest and of Georgy and the servants. Amelia's maid, the kindest, the bravest, and the humblest. it has been said, was heart and soul in favor Over and over again; she told him how they of the generous major. Having at first dis- owed every thing which they possessed in liked Becky for being the means of dismis- the world to that kind fiiend's benevolent sing him from the presence of her mistress, care of them; how he had befriended them she was reconciled to Mrs. Crawley sub- all through their poverty and misfortunes; sequently, because the latter became Will- watched over them when nobody cared for iam's most ardent admirer and champion. them;how all his comrades admired him., And in these mighty conclaves in which the though he never spoke of his own gallant two ladies indulged after their parties, and actions; how Georgy's father trusted him while Miss Payne was "brushing their beyond all other men, and had been con-!airs," as she called the yellow locks of the stantly befiiended by the good William. one, and the soft brown tresses of the other, " Why, when your papa was a little boy," this girl always put in her word for that she said, "he often told me that it was dear good gentleman, Major Dobbin. Her William who defended him against a tyrant advocacy did not make Amrelia angry any at the school where they were; and their more than Rebecca's admiration of him. fiiendship never ceased from that day until She made George write to him constantly, the last, when your dear father fell." and persisted in sending mamma's kind love "Did Dobbin kill the man who killed in a postscript. And as she looked at her papa?" Georgy said.'' I'm sure he did, husband's portrait of nights, it no longer. re- or he would if he could have caught him; preached her —peihaps she reproached it, would'nt he, mother? When I'm in the now William was gone. army won't I hate the French?-that's Emmy was not very: happy after her he- all." roic sacrifice. She was very distraite, nerv-'In such colloquies the mother and the ous, silent, and ill to please. The family child passed a great deal of their time tohad never known her so peevish. She gether. The artless woman had made a grew pale and ill. She used totry and sing confidant of the boy. He was as much certain songs, ("Einsam bin ich nicht al- William's friend as every body else who leine," was one of them: that tender love- knew him well. song of Weber's, which, in old-fashioned days, young ladies, and when you were By the way, Mrs. Becky not to be bee scarcely born, showed that those who lived hind-hand in sentiment, had got a miniature before you knew too how to love and to too hanging up in her room, to the surprise sing);-certain songs, I say, to which the and amusement of most people, and the demajor was partial; and as she warbled them light of the original, who was no other than in the twilight in the drawing-room, she our friend Jos. On her first coming to fawould break off in the midst of the4 song, vor the Sedleys with a visit, the little womand walk into her neighboring apartment, an who had arrived with a remarkably small, and there, no doubt, take refuge in the min- shabby kit, was perhaps ashamed of the iature of her husband.. meanness of her trunks and band-boxes, and Some books still subsisted, after Dobbin's often spoke with great respect about her departure, with his name written in them; baggage left behind at Leipzig, which she a German Dictionary, for instance, with must have from that city. When a traveler " William Dobbin -th Reg.," in the fly- talks to you perpetually about the splendor leaf; a guide-book with his initials, and one of his luggage, which he does not happen to or two other volumes which belonged to the have with him; my son, beware of that major. E mmy cleared these away and traveler! HIe is, ten to one, an impostor. put them on the drawers, where she placed Neither Jos nor Emmy knew this importher work-box, her desk, her Bible, and Pray- ant maxim. It seemed to them of no coner-book, under the pictures of the two sequence whether Becky had a quantity of Georges. And the major, on going away, very fine clothes in invisible trunks; but as having left his gloves behind him, it is a fact her present supply was exceedingly shabby, that Georgy, rummaging his mother's desk Emmy supplied her out of her own stores, sometime afterward, found the gloves neatly or took her to-the best milliner in the town, folded up, and put away in what they call and there fitted her out. It was no more the secret drawers of the desk. torn collars now, I promise you, and faded Not caring for society, and moping there silks trailing off at the shoulder. Becky a great deal, Emmy's chief pleasure in the changed her habits with her situation in summer evenings was to take longwalks with life-the rouge-pot was suspended —another Georgy (during which Rebecca was left to excitement to which she had accustomed A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 327 herself was also put aside, or at least only regiment.- Gravesend, June 20th.-The indulged in in privacy' as when she was Ramchunder East Indiaman, came into the prevailed on by Jos of a summer evening, river this morning, having on board 14 offiEmmy and the boy being absent on their cers, and 132 rank and file of this gallant walks, to take a little spirit-and-water. But corps. They have been absent from Enif she did not indulge-the courier did: that gland 14 years, having been embarked the rascal Kirsch could not be kept from the year after Waterloo, in which glorious conbottle; nor could he tell how much, he took flict they took an active part, and having when he applied to it. He was sometimes subsequently distinguished themselves in the surprised himself at the way in which Mr. Burmese war. The veteran colonel, Sir Sedley's cognac diminished. Well, well;, Michael O'Dowd, K.C.B., with his lady and this is a painful subject. Becky did not, sister, landed here yesterday, with Captains very likely, indulge so much as she used Posky, Stubble, Macraw, Malony; Lieutenbefore she entered a decorous family. ants Smith, Jones, Thompson, F. ThompAt last the much bragged-about boxes ar- son; Ensigns Hicks and Grady: the band rived fiom Leipzig: —three of them, not by on the pier playing the national anthem, and any means large or splendid; —nor did the crowd loudly cheering the gallant veterBecky appear to take out any sort of dress- ans as they went into Wayte's hotel, where es or ornaments from the boxes when they a sumptuous banquet was provided for the did arrive. But out of one which contained defenders of Old England. During the rea mass of her papers (it was that very box past, which we need not say was served up which Rawdon Crawley had ransacked in in Wayte's best style, the cheering continhis furious hunt for Becky's concealed mon- ued so enthusiastically, that Lady O'Dowd ey), she took a pictule with great glee, and the colonel came forward to the balcony, which she pinned up in her room, and to and drank the healths of their fellow-counwhich she introduced Jos. It was the por- trymen in a bumper of Wayte's best claret." trait of a gentleman in pencil, his face having On a second occasion, Jos read a brief the adiantage of being painted up in pink. announcement-Major Dobbin had joined He was riding on an elephant away firom the -th i'egiment at Chathaml; and subsesome cocoa-nut trees, and a pagoda: it was quently he promulgated accounts of the an Eastern scene. presentations at the drawing-room of Co010"God bless my soul, it is my portrait," nel Sir Michael O'Dowd, K.C.B., lady Jos cried out. It was he indeed, blooming O'Dowd (by Mrs. Molloy Malony, of Ballyin youth and beauty, in a nankeen jacket of malony), and. Miss Glorvina O'Dowd (by the cut of 1804. It was the old picture that Lady O'Dowd). Almost directly after this, used to hang up in Russell-square. Dobbin's name appeared among the lieuI bought it," said Becky, in a voice trem- tenant colonels-for old Marshal Tiptoff had bling with emotion; "I went to see if I died during the passage of the -th fiom could be of any use to my kind friends. I Madras, and the sovereign was pleased to have never parted with that picture — never advance Colonel Sir Michael O'Dowd to the will." rank of major-general on his return to En" Won't you?" Jos cried, with a look of gland, with an intimation that he should be unutterable rapture and satisfaction. " Did colonel of the distinguished regiment which you really, now, value it for my sake?" he had so long commanded. " You know I did, well enough," said Becky; " but why speak-why think-why Amelia had been made aware of some of look back? It is too late now!" these movements. The correspondence beThat evening's conversation was delicious tween George and his guardian had not for Jos. Emmy only came in to go to bed ceased by any means. William had even very tired and unwell. Jos and his fair written once or twice to her since his deguest had a charming tete-d-tete, and his sis- parture, but in a manner so unconstrainedly ter',ould hear, as she lay awake in her ad- cold,, tha the poor woman felt now in her joining chamber, Rebecca singing over to Jos turn that she had lost her power over him, the'old songs of 1815. He did not sleep, and that, as he had said, he was firee. He for a wonder, that night, any more than had left her, and she was wretched. The Amelia. memory of his almost countless services, and It was June, and, by consequence, high lofty and affectionate regard, now presented season in London. Jos, who read the in- itself to her, and rebuked her day and night. comparable 1" Galignani",(the exile's best She brooded over those recollections, accordf'iend) through every day, used to favor the ing to her wont; saw the purity and beauty ladies with extracts from his paper during of the affection with which she had trifled, their breakfast. Every week in this paper and reproached herself for having flung away there is a full account of military movements, such a treasure. in which Jos, as a man who had seen serv- It was gone, indeed. Williamn had spent ice, was especially interested. On one oc- itall out. He loved her no more, he thought, easion, he read out —"' Arrival of the — th as he had loved her. He never could again 328. VANITY FAIR. That sort of regard, which he had proffered His interesting patient, Jos, was a regular to her for so many faithful years, can't be milch cow to the doctor, and he easily perflung down and shattered, and mended so as suaded the civilian, both for his own health's to show no scars. The little heedless ty- sake and that of his charming sister, which rant had so destroyed it. No. William was really very much shattered, to pass the thought again and again, 1" It was myself I summer at that hideous seaport town. Emdeluded, and persisted in cajoling; had she my did not care where she went much been worthy of the love I gave her, she Georgy jumped at the idea of a move. As would have returned it long ago. It was a for Becky, she came, as a matter of course, fond mistake. Isn't the whole course of life in the fourth place inside of the fine barouche made up of such? and suppose I had won Mr. Jos had bought-the two domestics beher, should I not have been disenchanted ing on the box in front. She might have the day after my victory? Why pine, or be some misgivings about the fiiends whom ashamed of my defeat?" The more he she should meet there, and who might be thought of this long passage of his life, the likely to tell ugly stories-but bah! she was more clearly he saw his deception. " I'll go strong enough to hold her own. She had into harness again," he said, "and do my cast such an anchor in Jos now as would reduty in that state of life in which it has quire a strong storm to shake. That incipleased Heaven to place me. -I will see dent of the picture had finished him. Becky that the buttons of the recruits are properly took down her elephant, and put it into the bright, and that the sergeants make no mis- little box which she had had from Amelia takes in their accounts. I will dine at mess, ever so many years ago. Emmy also came and listen to the Scotch surgeon telling his off with her lares-her two pictures-and the stories. When I am old and broke, I will party, finally, were lodged irn an exceedingly go on half pay, and my old sisters shall scold dear and uncomfortable house at Ostend. me. I have'geliebt and gelebet,' as the There Amelia began to take baths, and girl in Wallenstein says. I am done. Pay get what good she could from them, and the bills, and get me a cigar; find out what though scores of people of Becky's acquaintthere is at the play to-night, Francis; to- ance passed her and cut her, yet Mrs. Osmorrow we cross by the' Batavier.' " He borne, who walked about with her, and who made the above speech, whereof Francis knew nobody, was not aware of the treatonly heard the last two'lines, pacing up and ment experienced by the fiiend whom she down the Boompjes at Rotterdam. The had chosen so judiciously as a companion; "'Batavier" was lying in the basin. He indeed, Becky never thought fit to tell her could see the place on the quarter-deck, what was passing under her innocent eyes. where he and Emmy had sate on the happy Some of Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's acvoyage out.'What had that little Mrs. quaintances, however, acknowledged her Crawley to say to himn? Pshaw! to-mor- readily enough-perhaps more readily than row we will put to sea, and return to Eng- she would have desired. Among these were land, home, and duty! Major Loder (unattached), Captain Rook (late of the Rifles), who might be seen any After June, all the little court society of day at the Dyke, smoking and staring at the Pumpernickel used to separate, according to women, and who speedily got an introducthe German plan, and make for a hundred tion to the hospitable board and select circle watering-places, where they drank at the of Mr. Joseph Sedley. In fact, they would wells, rode upon donkeys, gambled at the take no denial; they. burst into the house redoutes-if they had money and a mind- whether Becky was at home or not, walked rushed, with hundreds of their kind, to gor- into Mrs. Osborne's drawing-room, which mandize at the tablesd'hzote, and idled away they perfumed with their coats and mus the summer. The English diplomatists went taches, called Jos " old buck," and invaded off to Toplitz and Kissengen, their French his dinner-table, and laughed and drank for rivals shut up their chancellerie, and whisked long hours there. away to their darling Boulevard de Gand. "What can they mean?" asked Georgy, The transparent reigning family took, too, to who did not like these gentlemen. "I heard the waters, or retired to their hunting-lodges. the major say to Mrs. Crawley yesterday — Every body went away having any preten-' No, no, Becky, you shan't keep the old sions to politeness, and, of course, with them, buck to yourself. We must have the bones Doctor Von Glauber, the court-doctor, and in, or, damme, I'll split.' What could the his baroness. The seasons for the baths major mean, ma?" were the most productive periods of the " Major! don't call him major!" Emnny doctor's practice-he united business with said. "I'm sure I can't tell what he meant." pleasure, and his chief place of resort was His presence and that of his friend inspired Ostend, which is much frequented by Ger- the little lady with intolerable terror and mans, and where the doctor treated himself aversion. They paid her tipsy compliments, and his spouse to what he called a " dib" in they leered at her over the dilner-table,. the sea. And the captain made her advances that OA;; <-t ==X3== 7== -//, t4 A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 329 filled -her with sickening dismay: nor would " I tried —I tried my best-indeed [ did, she ever see him unless she had George by Rebecca," said Amelia, deprecatingly, "but her side. I couldn't forget-" and she finished the Rebecca, also, to do her justice, never sentence by looking up at the portrait. would let either of these men remain alone " Couldn't forget him!" cried out Becky withAmelia; the major was disengaged, too, — "that selfish humbug-that low-bred and swore he would be the winner of her. cockney-dandy-that padded booby, who A. couple of ruffians were fighting for this had neither wit, nor manners, nor heart, and innocent creature, gambling for her at her was no more to be compared to your fiiend own table; and though she was not aware with the bamboo-cane than you are to Queen of the rascals' designs upon her, yet she felt Elizabeth. Why, the man was weary of a horror and uneasiness in their presence, you, and would have jilted you, but that and longed to fly. Dobbin forced him to keep his word. He She besought, she entreated Jos to come owned it to me. He never cared for you. home. Not he. He was slow of move- He used to sneer about you to me, time after ment, tied to his doctor, and, perhaps, to time, and made love to me the week after some other leading-strings. At least, Becky he married you." was not anxious to go to England. "It's fillse! It's false, Rebecca!" cried At last she took a great resolution-made out Amelia starting up. the great plunge. She wrote off a letter to "Look there, you fool!" Becky said, with a friend whom she had on the other side of a provoking good-humor, and, taking a little the water; a letter about which she did not paper out of her belt, she opened it and flung speak a word to any body, which she carried it into Ernmy's lap. "You know his handherself to the post under her shawl: nor writing. He wrote that to me-wanted me was any remark made about it, only that she to run away with him-gave it me under looked very much flushed and agitated when your nose, the day before he was shot-and Georgy met her, and she kissed him and served him right!" Becky repeated. hung over him a great deal that night. She Emmy did not hear her; she was looking did not come out of her room after her re- at the letter. It was that which George had turn from her walk. Becky thought it was put into the bouquet and given to Becky on Major Loder and the captain who frightened the night of the D)uke of Richmond's ball. her. It was as she said: the foolish young man "She mustn't stop here." Becky reasoned had asked her to fly. with herself. " She must go away, the silly Emmy's head sank down, and for almost little fool. She is still whimpering after that the last time in which she shall be called gaby of a husband —dead (and served right) upon to weep in this history, she commenced these fifteen years. She shan't marry either that work. Her head fell to her bosom, and of these men. It's too bad of Loder. No; her hands went up to her eyes; and there she shall marry the bamboo-cane; I'll settle for awhile, she gave way to her emotions, it this very night." as Becky stood by and regarded her. Who So Becky took a cup of tea to Amelia in shall analyze those tears, and say whether her private apartment, and found that lady in they were sweet or bitter?'Was she most the company of her miniatures, and in a most grieved, because the idol of her life was melancholy and nervous condition. She laid tumbled down and shivered at her feet, or down the cup of tea. indignant that her love had been so despis-' Thank you," said Amelia. ed, ori glad because the barrier was removed "Listen to me, Amelia," said Becky, which modesty had placed between her and marching up and down the room before the a new, a real affection? " There is nothing other, and surveying her with a sort of con- to forbid me now," she thought. " I may temptuous kindness. "I Mwant to talk to love him with all my heart now. 0, I will, you.:You must go away from here and I will, if he will but let me, and forgive me." from the impertinences of these men. I I believe it was this feeling rushed over all won't have you harassed by them, and they the others- which agitated that gentle little will insult you if you stay. I tell you they bosom. are rascals; men fit to send to the hulks. Indeed, she did not cry so much as Becky Never mind how I know them. I know expected-the other soothed and kissed her every body. Jos can't protect you; he is -a rare mark of sympathy with Mrs. Becky. too fat and weak, and wants a protector She treated Emmy like a child, and patted himself. You are no more fit to live in the her head. "And now let us get pen and world than ababy in arms. You must mar- ink, and write to him to come this minute," ry, or you and your precious boy will go to she said. " I-Iwrote to him this morning," ruin. You must have a husband, you fool; Emmy said, blushing exceedingly. and one of the best gentlemen I ever saw Becky screamed with laughter —" Un bighas offered you a hundred times, and you lietto," she sang out with Rosina, "eccolo have rejected him, you silly, heartless, un- qua!" —the whole house echoed with lier grateful little creature!" shrill singing. 330 VANITY FAIR. Two mno rings after this little scene, al- idlers abroad; scarcay even a commissioner though the ray was rainy and gusty, and on the look-out for the few passengers in Amelia hai had an exceedingly wakeful the steamer. That young scape-grace, night, listening to the wind roaring, and George, had fled too: and as the gentleman pitying all travelers by land and by water, in the old cloak lined with red stuff stepped yet she got up early, and insisted upon tak- on to the shore, there was scarcely any one ng a walk on the dyke with Georgy; and present to see what took place, which was th.ere she paced, as.the rain beat into her briefly this:face, and she looked out westward across A lady in a dripping white bonnet and the dark sea line, and over the swollen bil- shawl, with her two little hands out before tows which came tumbling and frothing to her, went up to him, and in the next min-'he shore. Neither spoke much, except ute she had altogether disappeared under aow and then, when the boy said a few the folds of the old cloak, and was kissing words to his timid companion, indicative of one of his hands with all her might; while sympathy and protection. the other, I suppose, was engaged in hold" I hope he won't cross in such weather," ing her to his heart (which her head just EmIny said. about reached), and in preventing her from "I bet ten to one he does," the boy an- tumbling down. She was murmuring someswered. " Look, mother, there's the smoke thing about-forgive-dear'William-dear, of the steamer." It was that signal, sure dear, dearest friend-kiss, kiss, kiss, and so enough., forth —and in fact went on under the cloak But though the steamer was under weigh, in an absurd manner. he might not be on board; he might not have When Emmy emerged firom it, she still got the letter; he might not choose to come. kept tight hold of one of William's hands, and A hundred fears poured one over the other looked up in his face. It was full of sad into the little heart, as fast as the waves on ness, and tender love and pity. She under to the dyke. stood its reproach, and hung down her head. The boat followed the smoke into sight. "It was time you sent for me, dear Ame Georgy had a dandy telescope, and got the lia," he said. vessel under view in the most skillful manner. "You will never go again, William." &nd he made appropriate nautical comments "No, never," he answered, and pressed upon the manner of the approach of the the dear little soul once more to his heart. steamer as she came nearer and nearer, dip- As they issued out of the custom-house ping and rising in the water. The signal precincts, Georgy broke out on them with of an English steamer in sight went flutter- his telescope up to his eye, and a loud laugh of ing up to the mast on the pier.. I dare say welcome; he danced round the couple, and Mrs. Amelia's heart was in a similar flutter. performed many facetious antics as he led Emmy tried to look through the telescope them up to the house. Jos wasn't up yet; over George's shoulder, but she could make Becky not visible (though she looked at nothing of it. She only saw a black eclipse them through the blinds.) Georgy ran off bobbing up and down before her eyes. to see about breakfast. Emmy, whose George took the glass again and raked the shawl and bonnet were off in the passage, vessel.' How she does pitch!" he said. in the hands of Mrs. Payne, now went to "6 There goes a wave slap over her bows. undo the clasp of William's cloak, and-we There's only two people on deck besides the will, if you please, go with George, and look steersman. There's a man lying down, and after breakfast for the colonel. The vessel a-chap in a-cloak with a-Hooray! It's is in port. He has got the prize he has Dob, by Jingo!" He clapped to the teles- been trying for all his life. The bird has cope and flung his arms round his mother. come in at last. There it is with its head As for that lady: let us say what she did in on his shoulder, billing and cooing close up the words of a favorite poet —Aapvoev y7eRa- to his heart, with soft, outstretched, flutteraaaa. She was sure it was William. It ing wings. This is what he has asked for could be no other. What she had said every day and hour for eighteen years. This about hoping that lie would not come was is what he pined after. Here it is-the sumall hypocrisy. Of course he would come: mit, the end —the last page of the third volwhat would he do else but come? She ume. Good-bye, colonel-God bless you, knew he would come. honest William! Farewell, dear AmeliaThe ship came swiftly nearer and nearer. growgreen again, tender little parasite, round As they went in to meet her at the landing- the rugged old oak to which you cling! place at the quay, Emmy's knees trembled so that she scarcely could run. She would Perhaps it was compunction toward the have liked to kneel down and say her prayers kind and simple creature, who had been the of thanks there. Oh, she thought, she first in life to defend her, perhaps it was a would be all her life saying them! dislike to all such sentimental scenes; but It was such a bad day, that as the vessel Rebecca, satisfied with her part in the transame alongside of the quay there were no action, never presented herself before Colo. , / / i vi i ii NKi\I\1\ \ \ i":. \\'t.h' /// \\ \' i.~Ii rJ~ i i!'j~~~~~ l,:tl,.'vji'~, -'~_:tii.. i~.f II.,`,,.,. i /Ii t mia Carl~ ~ ~ ~ ~,.1.,, I,," t-'-T ~.....'.... N~RTUE RW DE A BO T I ANITA. V REWARDED A BOOTI IN VANITY FAIR. (p 339 A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO. 331 ne] Dobbin and the lady whom he married. Rev. James Crawley, who succeeded his "Particular business," she said, took her to father in the living: and a pretty close Bruges, whither she went; and only Georgy friendship subsisted between the two lads, and his incle were present at the marriage George and Rawdon, who hunted and shot ceremony. When it was over, and Georgy together in the vacations, were both entered had rejoined his parents, Mrs. Becky re- of the same collegeat Cambridge, and quarturned (just for a few days) to comfort the reled with each other about Lacy Jane's solitary bachelor, Joseph Sedley. He pre- daughter, with whom they were both, of ferred a continental life, he said, and de- course, in ove. A match between George dined to join in housekeeping with his sister and that young lady was long a favorite and her husband. scheme of both the matrons, though I have Emmy was very glad in her heart to think heard that Miss Crawley herself inclined that she had written to her husband before toward her cousin. she read or knew of that letter of george's. Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's name was never "I knew it all along," William said: "but mentioned by either family. There were could I use that weapon against the poor fel- reasons why all should be silent regarding low's memory? It was that which made me her. For wherever Mr. Joseph Sedley suffer so when you — " went, she traveled likewise; and that in-," Never speak of that day again," Emmy fatuated man seemed to be entirely her slave. cried out, so contrite and humble, that The colonel's lawyers informed him that his William turned off the conversation, by his brother-in-lawhad effected a heavy insurance account of Glorvina and dear old Peggy upon his life, whence it was probable that he O'Dowd, with whom he was sitting when had been raising money to discharge debts. the letter of recall reached him. "If you He procured prolonged leave of absence from hadn't sent for me," he added with a laugh, the East India House, and indeed his infirmi"who knows what Glorvina's name might ties were daily increasing. be now 1" On hearing the news about the insurance, At present it is Glorvina Posky (now Mrs. Amelia, in a good deal of alarm, entreated Major Posky), she took him on the death of her husband to go to Brussels, where Jos his first wife; having resolved never to marry then was, and inquire into the state of his out of the regiment. Lady O'Dowd is also affairs. The colonel quitted home with reso attached to it, that, she says, if any thing luctance (for he was deeply immersed in were to happen to Mick, bedad she'd come his "History of the Punjaub," which still back and marry some of'em. But the major- occupies him, and much alarmed about his general is quite well, and lives in great little daughter, whom he idolizes, and who splendor at O'Dowdstown, with a pack of was just recovering from the chicken pox), beagles, and (with the exception of perhaps and went to Brussels and found Jos living at their neighbor Hoggarty of Castle Hoggarty) one of the enormous hotels in that city. he is the first man of his county. Her lady- Mrs. Crawley, who had her carriage, gave ship still dances jigs, and insisted upon stand- entertainments, and lived in a very genteel ing up to the master of the horse at the lord manner, occupied another suite of apartlieutenant's last ball. Both she and Glorvina ment in the same hotel. declared that Dobbin had used the latter The colonel, of course, did not desire to sheamfully, but Posky falling in, Glorvina was see that lady, or even think proper to notify consoled, and a beautiful turban from Paris his arrival at Brussels, except privately to Jos, appeased the wrath of Lady O'Dowd. by a message through his valet. Jos begged When Colonel Dobbin quitted the service, the colonel to come and see him that night, which he did immediately after his marriage, when Mrs. Crawley would be at a soiree, he rented a pretty little country place in and when they could meet alone. He found Hampshire, not far fiom Queen's Crawley, his brother-in-law in a condition of pitiable where, after the Reform Bill passing, Sir infirmity; and dreadfully afraid of Rebecca, Pitt and his family constantly resided now. though eager in his praises of her. She All idea of a peerage was out of the ques- tended him through a series of unheard-of tion, the baronet's two seats in parliament illnesses, with a fidelity most admirable. She being lost. He was both out of pocket and had been a daughter to him. " But-butout of spirits by that catastrophe-failed in oh, for God's sake, do come and live near me, his health, and prophesied the speedy ruin and —and-see me sometimes," whimpered of the empire. out the unfortunate man. Lady Jane and Mrs. Dobbin became great The colonel's brow darkened at this. friends-there was a perpetual crossing of "We can't, Jos," he said. "Considerpony-chaises between the Hall and the ing the circumstances, Amelia can't visit Evergreens, the colonel's place (rented of you." his fiiend Major Ponto, who was abroad "I swear to you-I swear to you on the with his family.) Her ladyship was god- Bible," gasped out Joseph, wanting to kiss mother to Mrs. Dobbin's child, which bore the book, "that she is as innocent as a child, ner name, and was christened by the as spotless as your own wife," 332 VANITY FAIR. " It may be so," said the colonel, gloomi- ed with her solicitors, Messrs. Burke, Thurly; " but Emmy can't come to you. Be a tell, and Hayes, of Thavies Inn), and dared man, Jos: break off this disreputable con- the company to refuse the payment: invited nection. Come home to your family. We examination: declared that she was the obhear your affairs are involved." ject of an infamous conspiracy, which had "Involved!" cried Jos "Who has told been pursuing her all through life, and trisuch calumnies? All my money is placed umphed finally. The money was paid, and out most advantageously. Mrls. Crawley- her character established, but Colonel Dobbin that is-I mean-it is laid out to the best in- sent back his share of the legacy to the interest." surance office, and rigidly declined to hae "You are not in debt then? Why did any communication with Rebecca. you insure your life?" She never was Lady Crawley, though she "I thought-a little present to her —in continued so to call herself. His Excellency case any thing happened; and you know Colonel Rawdon Crawley died of the yellow my health is so delicate-common gratitude fever at Coventry Island, most deeply beyou know —and I intend to leave all my loved and deplored, and six weeks before money to you-and I can spare it out of my the demise of his brother, Sir Pitt. The income, indeed I can," cried out William's estate consequently devolved upon the presweak brother-in-lawv. ent Sir Rawdon Crawley, Bart. The colonel besought Jos to fly at once — He, too, has declined to see his mother, to go back to India, whither Mrs. Crawley to whom hle makes a liberal allowance; and could not follow him; to do any thing to who, besides, appears to be very wealthy. break off a connection which might have the The baronet lives entirely at Queen's Crawmost fatal consequences to him. ley, with Lady Jane and her daughter; Jos clasped his hands, and cried, —" He while Rebecca, Lady Crawley, chiefly hangs would go back to India. He would do any about Bath and Cheltenham, where a very thing: only he must have time: they strong party of excellent people consider her mustn't say any thing to Mrs. Crawley: to be a most injured woman. She has her she'd-she'd kill me if she knew it. You enemies. Who has not? Her life is her don't know what a terrible woman she is," answer to them. She busies herself in the poor wretch said. works of piety. She goes to church, and "Then, why not come away with me?" never withor.t a footman. Her name is in said Dobbin in reply; but Jos had not the all the charity lists. The destitute orangecourage. "He would see Dobbin again in girl, the neglected washerwoman, the disthe morning; he must not on no account tressed muffin-man, find in her a fast and say that he had been there. He must go generous friend. She is always having stalls now. Becky might come in." And Dob- at'Fancy Fairs for the benefit of these hapbin quitted him full of forebodings. less beings. Emmy, her children, and the He never saw Jos more. Three months colonel, coming to London some time back, afterward Joseph Sedley died at Aix-la- found themselves suddenly before her at one Chapelle. It was found that all his prop- of these fairs. She cast down her eyes erty had been muddled away in speculations, demurely and smiled as they started away and was represented by valueless shares in from her; Emmy skurrying off on the arm different bubble companies. All his avail- of George (now grown a dashing young genable assets were the two thousand pounds tleman), and the colonel seizing up his little for which his life was insured, and which Janey, of whom he is fonder than of any were left equally between his beloved " sis- thing in the world —fnder even than of his ter, Amelia, wife of, &c., and his friend and "History of the Punjaub." invaluable attendant during sickness, Re- " Fonder than he is of me," Emmy thinks, becca, wife of Lieutenant-colonel Rawdon with a sigh. But he never said a word to Crawley, C.B.," who was appointed ad- Amelia that was not kind and gentle; or ministratrix. thought of a want of hers that he did not The solicitor of the insurance company try to gratify. swore it was the blackest case that ever had come before him; talked of sending a com- Ah! Vanitas Vanitatumn!'Which of us is mission to Aix to examine into the death, happy in this world? Which of us has his and the company refused payment of the desire? or, having it, is satisfied? Come policy. But Mrs., or Lady Crawley, as she children, let us shut up the box and the pupstyled herself, came to town at once (attend- pets, for our play is played out. T H E EN D. T T f H_.1,iS`!:i~ ii i ill I II i it'i i ii 1 I IN'' ~~lli'i: Ifi~:,~~~~~~~~~~~~al N ciN: i? i i I i 1 I I i!,i i I it / i 1 i i~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~iil'Itr i 7:i Ii BF (,'T S jrNT)APPARj NETNTEI l ARATER FLYTEMNSTRA (.3.32 NEW AND POPULAR NOVELS. Ticonderoga. By G. P. R. JAMES, Esq., Author of "Agnes Sorel," "A Life of Vicissitudes," " Pequinillo,' "Aims and Obstacles," " The Commissioner," &c., &c., &c. svo, Paper, 50 cents. His peculiar power consists in being able to describe, I sionally to portray the deepepand finer feelings of human with wonderful spirit, busy and stirring scenes; to bring nature, which few succeed in handling well. There are out into bold relief pictures of daring and courage; to de- scenes of infinite beauty and touching pathos in his works. lineate, with a few bold strokes, a landscape; and occa- — Times. Aubrey. By the Author of "Castle Avon," " Ravenscliffe," "Time the Avenger," "The Wilmingtons,"' Mordaunt Hall," "Emilia Wyndham," &c., &c. 8vo, Paper, 50 cents. This novel is worthy of the author's reputation. The of the story is kept up without flagging from the begininterest of the story is powerfully kept up; and there is ning. In portraying the workings of the deeper and more much truthful and discriminating depicting of character. intense passions and emotions, the author has long stood Besides the interest of the story, the book may be com- foremost among the female authors of England, and the mended for the lessons it conveys.-Literary Gazette. present novel comes fully up to the mark of the best of Aubrey is a novel of very great power. The interest her earlier works. The Quiet Heart. From Blackwood's Magazine. 8so, Paper, 25 cents.' One of the most fascinating works of the season." takes rank among the choicest. -New Bedford Mer A. charming tale, written with genuine pathos, and cury. The Dodd Family Abroad. By13 CHAPRLES LEVER. 8vo, Paper, 75 cents. A cheerful and amusing book. It is full of humor, char- Decidedly one of the most entertaining and laughteracter, and ingenious incident. It is a genuine, hearty, inspiring works that we have perused for some time.mirth-provoking volume, with a fine, natural Irish flavor. Charleston Courier. Without the slightest use of caricature, or anl clap-trap If you are at a loss for something to laugh at, go at of brogue, the Hibernian manner is represented perfectly. once to the pages of this book. We assure the reader -London Examiner. that he will not find sharper views of life and better hits This is in the author's happiest vein. The mishaps at folly outside of the pages of Thackeray. — Louisville and adventures of an Irish family pursuing gentility on Journal the Continent afford an ample field for his satirical pen. It will excite the risible muscles and expand the diaThe narrative is given in the form of letters from differ- phragm, and, furthermore, thank your stars that Lever ent members of the humbugged and long-suffering family, has time enough in the midst of' his high life in Italy, to and every where overflows with the richest humor. —N. present pictures of the genuine Irish peopie.-Louisvil'e Y. Tribune. Courzer This work has all of Lever's well known characteris- A perfect mine of amusing inoident and graphic narra. tics. It is brilliant, dashing, racy, full of humor, quick tive. —Boston Transcript. and true in etching character.-N. Y. Cour. and Enq. Sir Jasper Carew, Knt.; His Life and Bxperiences, with some Account of his Over-reachings and Short-comings, now first given to the World by Himself. By CHIARLES LEvER. 8vo, Paper, 50 cents. "This well known humorous and sparkling writer, For pleasant satire, sprightliness, geniality, good senw, whose numerous laughter-provoking novels have so often spirit, and real se".timent, commend us to Charles Let,,_. convulsed the reader by their drollery and rollicking wit, — New Bedford Mercury. seems to possess an endless fund of entertainment." He nas a gusto of description, a piquancy of dialogue, We hardly know how to convey an adequate notion of and a vein of humor quite peculiar and delightful; his the exuberant whim and drollery by which this writer stories exhibit curious phases of life, and are based on a is characterized. His works are a perpetual feast of gay- keen observation of the world.-Boston Transcript. ety.-John Bull. HARPER & BROTHERS, PUBLISHERS, FRANKLIN SQUARE, N. Y. The Old House by the River. By,the Author of the "Owl Creek Letters," &c. 12mno, Muslin, Price 715 cents. A pleasant book, quaint as its title indicates, abounding It is just the book to read in a still summer evening in scenes of the truest pathos, relieved by vivid descrip- when memories are dearer than hopes, and sad and pleas tions of forest life with its enjoyments and privations.- ant recollections jostle each other on their way from th Journal of Commerce. mind to the heart. —Country Gentleman. Its joys are those which all pure minds may feel, its A book of fine, fresh, natural feeling, full of the exuber sorrows those which have wrung, or will wring, all truly anee of youth, and the enthusiasm of love and sportin, human hearts. The author may chiefly congratulate him- adventure.-Long Island Star. self on the creation of a single character, Joe Willis, a no- A sprightly and spirited book is this, breezy and sun ble fellow, one of the manifest men that has been spoken shiny. The writer is already known by his "Owl Creek into being of late years.-Courier and Enquirer. Letters," as the easy master of a rapid, sketchy style, dra. There is a freshness and beauty in the details that matic, tasteful, and pleasantly descriptive. —,New Yort come from the heart, and reach the heart of the reader.- Independent4 Hartford Courant. What lover of sport has not perused the "Owl Creekl A book of refined and softened sentiment, written in a Letters?" If one there be, let him forthwith purchase, style of great elegance and purity. There is no dream- and then he will need no endorsement of" The Old House iness or mere prettiness about the style. It is strong, by the River." It is a book which Addison would have sincere, fervent, and noble.-Springfield Republican. loved to read aloud with Roger de Coverly.-Newv Orleans We know not the author ef this volume; but we know Bulletin. that he is a man of fine taste and feeling, and is capable It is the same hand that wove the attractive "Owl of writing in a style of unusual simplicity, beauty, and Creek Letters." The tone of the book is pathetic and purity.-Boston Traveler. winsome. —Boston Transcript. A work exactly suited to the season, full of genial sen- His conceptions of life are not extravagant, nor his timent and truthlful description both of nature and char- word-painting too highly colored. Nothing is sacrificed acter.-Neew York Recorder. to intensity of effect. No morbid effusions mar the Delightful pictures of rural life, with an abundant va- transparent beauty of his characters or his scenes. -N. riety of adventures, incidents, and touching scenes.- Y. Qitarterly. Evening Bulletin. A mingling of character-writing with descriptions and Agreeable, sentimental, and sometimes graphic, these incidents of rural and forest life. The book is beautifully sketches are brief, and some of them deeply affecting pic- written.-Newvburgh Gazette. lures of life.-New York Evangelist. It is a long while since we have read aught frssher, A book of capital sketches.-Methodist Protestant. more genial, and altogether charming. - Utica Morning A charming volume, full of sweet pictures of rural and Herald. hunting life, well worth reading for their beauty, senti- The readers of the " Owl Creek Letters" will be glad ment, and real strength.-Hartford Times. to renew their acquaintance with the author, who is ever A delightful volume, full of a genial love of nature, and graphic and attractive.-Newe Bedford Mercury. a delicate appreciation of the finer sensibilities of the One of the most beautiful things we have read in a long heart; as grateful to the mind in these torrid days as while. The writer displays the finest taste both in his ices are to the taste.-Christian Intelligencer. reflections and his descriptions.-Albany Transcript. Fine, fresh reading.-N. IY. Evening Mirror. The "Owl Creek Letters" and the present work have Delightful, breezy sketches.-N. Y. Daily Times. established his reputation. We know of no better work Pleasant sketches, the production of a master hand.- for a companion when we desire to resort to the elegant Dollar Neevspaper, and beautiful in literature.-Syracuse Daily Journal. Later Years. By the Author of "The Old House by the River." 12mo, Muslin, Price 75 cents. There is no living American writer who has touched For beauty of description, tenderness of feeling, lively more powerfully the better feelings, the holier sympathies and stirring incident, deep and living sentiment, there is of our nature, than the author of this work. - Albany scarcely any thing superior to these pages, and the rural Transcript. and romantic scenes, passages of still life, and strong picA collection of very beautiful sketches, tales, and le- tures of heart-trial resulting in the refinement of spirit and gends, the work of a writer who is a hunter and fisher, future joy, will be read with thrills of emotion.-N. Y. and withal a man of sentiment and imagination.-Boston Observer. Courier. A collection of independent, yet not entirely disconnectThe same shrewd spirit of observation, the same pas- ed sketches, from the author of two books which have sionate love of nature in all her changeful aspects, the won a very enviable popularity. There is the same simsame delicious dreaminess of thought, and the same tran- plicity of narration, the same tinge of tender melancholy, quil beauty of style, which gave such a witchery to the the same sympathy with nature, and keen observation of former volumes, characterize this.-Yankee Blade. all her most delicate beauties, and an exhibition of the same A very pleasant book, as well for its description of wild fondness for those sports, which enable the contemplative scenery, sport, and adventure, as for the genial humanity man to obtain a peculiarly intimate knowledge of natural that breathes in every page.-Charleston Mercury. beauties in their more hidden manifestations.-N. Y. CouIle withholds his name from the title-page, but the well- rier and Enquirer. known German text 0 will indicate the plcasing corre- They are replete with genuine humor, and, whatis alspondent of the Joral o Commerce. To the many ways an accompaniment of humor, though not of wit, irfriiends and readers who have followed with interest his esistible pathos. Humor, pathos, a talent for descrip~~~~~~~~~~~cit, inter paths.iumo, pthis, sig willn olsrp summer wanderings and winter musings, this sign will tion, an earnestness of feeling, a simple, unaffected style, readily afford an opportunity for passing an old and wel- are the characteristics of this author.-Hartford Conrant. roeadl affiordt an oportanentyo placein thei hueolds.nd ome visitor to a permanent place in their households.- The style of the author is rich and racy, and his sketches N. Y. Express. of character and scenes thrilling.-Baltimore Patriot. A series of sketches, desultory in their character, but In reading its pages, the mind of the reader will be inaboundinc in all the grace and beauty of the author's ear- evitably carried back to pleasant scenes in his own life tier works. Fow writers possess in so large a degree the that are bright spots in Memory's page. The last chappower of carrying their reaA-3rs with them into the very ter, entitled "The Old House," is peculiarly touching.heart of nature. IHe paints a scene with the true faithful- Albany Courier and Journal. ness of a true master.-Tray Times. The experiences of some who were formerly sheltered No writer with whom we are conversant seems to en- under that venerable roof since "The Old HIouse by the joy more heartily the beautiful, both in art and nature River" was closed, and Joe Willis and the big German and he has a singular felicity in mal/ing his readers the E exchanged it for the city. Their running into tho sharers of his enjoyment.-Philadelph.ia Sun. country for summer relief, their thoughts by the way, and These books belong to the best class of quiet composi- many ether pleasant things, all delightfully told, are here tions, in which the author, in a cloud, like a pleasant reproduced. They constitute a very readable volume of spirit, seems constantly hovering around the reader, and wholesome fancies and facts, told as a poet who disdains getting up such an interest in his semi-spiritual individu- rhyme, or is notused to its harness, is accustomed to tell ality, that you find a friendship for the writer interesting them. —N. Y. Times. you in every line and every letter.-Arthur's Homne Ga- A volume of engaging letters: They conta:n many paszette. sages ofg: nuine beauty and pathos.-Christ. Intelligencer. HARPER & BROTHERS,, PUBLISHERS, FRANKLIN SQUARE, N. Y. BY GEORGE WINFRED HERVEY. THE PRINCIPLES OF COURTESY. WITH HINTS AND OBSERVATIONS ON MANNERS AND HABITS. A NEW EDITION, WITH ADDITIONS AND CORRECTIONS. 12mo, MUSLIN, 75 CENTS. The design of this work is to illustrate and enforce the duty of courtesy in all its principles and applications. From the opinions of the leading critics of the day, already laid before the public, we gather that this work is unique, original, and, apart from the very important practical theme of which it treats, a curiosity in the literature of the age. The subjects, they tell us, are discussed in a spirit of cheerful, charitable, and liberal ethics. The contents are as follows: PART I. THE SPIRIT OF COURTESY.-CHAP. I. Humility.-II. Gravity.-III. Cheerfulness.-IV. Gentleness.V. Courage. —VI. Meekness. -VII. Sensibility.-VIII. Delicacy.-IX. Propriety.-X. Sincerity.-XI. Gratitude. -XII. Zeal. PART II. THE FORMS OF COURTESY IN RELIGIOUS SOCIETY.-CHAP. 1. Order.-II. Deportment at Church. —IIT. Posture in Prayer. -IV. Posture of a Congregation during Singing of Choir. - V. General Deportment of a Congregation during Singing.-VI. The Deportment of Choirs.-VII. The Deportment at Prayer-meetings.-VIII. Marriage Ceremonies. - IX. Funerals and Mourning. - X. Eccentricities. - XI. Cant.- XII. Rant.- XIII. Christian Sociability. PART III. FoRMs OF COURTESY IN SECULAR SOCIETY.-CHAP. I. Honor and Precedence.-II. Salutations.-III. Deportment in the Street.-IV. Traveling.-V. Hospitality.-VI. The Table.-VII. Dress.-VIII. Visits and Calls. -IX. Sunday Visits.-X. Visiting the Sick.-XI. Visiting the Poor.-XII. The Simplicity of true Beneficence.XIII. The Duties of the New Convert to his former Companions. - XIV. The Intercourse of the Christian with the World.-XV. The best Law of Complaisanae.-XVI. Flexibility of Manners and Inflexibility of Principle. THE RHETORIC OF CONVERSATION; OR, 3BRIDLES AND SPURS FOR THE MANAGEMENT OF THE TONGUE. 1 2Mo, MUSLIN, 75 CENTS. This volume is intended to be of the same use to all who talk, as the ordinary works on Rhetoric are to public speakers and to writers; containing all the instruction as to the proprieties and ethics of talking that the aspirant after colloquial excellence can reasonably require. To the great number of critical judgments in regard to this work, which have appeared in the United States, we may be allowed to add one from the London Literary Gazette, a periodical which, according to " Christopher North,'stands, beyond dispute, at the head of its own class.'' In this Volume, by an American writer, will be found much sensible and entertaining counsel on the difficult and important subject of the management of the tongue, enlivened by anecdotes and illustrations, historical and biographical. On the art and ethics of talking, it is a comprehensive manual, and no book in the English language has entered so systematically into the subject, and presented so many striking and appropriate hints for practical use.'' THIE TABLE OF CONTENTS. CHAP. I. Silence.-II. Conversation in Private and Domestic Life.-III. Conversation of Christians with one another.-IV. Sunday Conversation -V. Conversation in General Society.-VI. Interviews with Unbelievers with regard to his Spiritual Interests.-VII. Conversations with prejudiced Persons.-VIII. Discussions. —IX. Reproof. -X. Flattery and Praise.- XI. Detraction and Scandal.- XII. Interrogations. - XIII. Egotism and Boasting. - XIV. Anecdotes and Stories.-XV. Wit and PIeasantry.-XVI. The Style of Conversation.-XVII. Physical Habits in Conversation. —XVTII. Preparations for Conversation.- XIX. Accompaniments of Conversation. - XX. A IIistory of certain Conversation Clubs, with Sketches of the Conversation of Johnson, Hannah More, Coleridge, and Others *1-; AtIARPER & BROTHERS will forward, free of Postage (the distance being under 3000 miles), the above Books, or any of their Publications, on receipt of the Catalogue prices. BY ELIAS LOOMIS, LL.D. A COURSE OF MATHEMATICS AND ASTRONOMY, THE Course of Mathematics by Prof. Loomis has now Trigonometr and Tables. been for several years before the public, and has received the general approbation of teachers throughout the coun- Eighth Edition. 8vo, pp. 344, Sheep extra, try. The following are some of the Institutions in which $1 50. this Course has been introduced, either wholly or in part: This work contains an exposition of the nature and Dartmouth College, N. H.; Williams College, Mass.; Am- properties of Logarithms; the principles of Plane Trigonometry; the Mensuration of Surfaces and Solids; the herst College, Mass.; Yale College, Conn.; Trinity Col- principles of Land Surveying, with a full description of lege, Conn.; Wesleyan University, Conn.; Hamilton Col- the instruments employed; the Elements of Navigation, lege, N. Y.; Hobart Free College, N. Y.; New York Uni- and of Spherical Trigonometry. The Tables furnish the yN. Y.; Rochester University, N. Y.; Dickinson Logarithms of Numbers to 10,000, with the proportional versity, N. Y.; Rochester University, N. ~.; Dickinson parts for a fifth figure in the natural number; logarithmic College, Penn.; Jefferson College, Penn.; Alleghany Col- Sines and Tangents for every ten Seconds of the Quadlege, Penn.; Lafayette College, Penn.; St. James's Col- rant, with the proportional parts to single seconds; natu-, Emory and Henry CollegeVa.; ethany Col- ral Sines and Tangents for every Minute of the Quadrant; lege, MId.; Emory ant Henry aollege, v a.; Betnany Co- a Traverse Table; a Table of Meridional Parts, &c. lege, Va.; S#uth Carolina College, S. C.; La Grange College, Ala.; Transylvania University, Ky.; Cumberland Elements of Analytical Geoietry, College, Ky.; Western Reserve College, Ohio; Marietta and of the Differential and Integ-al CalCUCollege, Ohio; Oberlin College, Ohio; Asbury Universi- lus. SixthEdition. 8vo,pp. 28, heepexty, Ind.; Illinois College, Ill.; Shurtleff College, Ill.; Me Kendree College, Ill.; Knox College, Ill.; Missouri Uni- tra, $1 50. versity, Mo. * Beloit College, Wisconsin. This treatise constitutes the fourth volume of a course of Mathematics designed for colleges and high schools. The first part treats of the application of Algebra to GeE1,,~ ]it ~~~~ometry, the construction of equations, the properties of a El ements of Aluebra, straight line, a circle, parabola, ellipse, and hyperbola; Eleme.tsof Algera...the classification of algebraic curves, and the more imDesigned for Beginners. SixthEdition. 12mo, portant transcendental curves. The second part treats pp. 260, Sheep extra, 621 cents. of the differentiation of algebraic functions, of Maclaurin's and Taylor's theorems, of maxima and minima, transcen-, This volume is intended for the use of students who dental functions, theory of curves, and evolutes. The have just completed the study of Arithmetic. It is be- third part exhibits the method of obtaining the integrals lieved that it will be found sufficiently clear and simple to of a great variety of differentials, and their application to be adapted to the wants of a large class of students in our the rectification and quadrature of curves, and the cubacommon schools. It explains the method of solving equa- ture of solids. All the principles are illustrated by an extions of the first degree, with one, two, or more unknown tensive collection of examples. The workewas prepared quantities; the principles of involution and of evolution; to meet the wants of the mass of college students of avthe solution of equations of the second degree; the prin- erage abilities. ciples of ratio and proportion; with arithmetical and geometrical progression. Every principle is illustrated by p ti 1 A1f, a copious collection of examples, and a variety of miscel- ra t lt 1ronomy, laneous problems will be found at the close of the book. An Introduction to Practical Astronomy, with a Collection of Astronomical Tables. 8vo, A Treatise on Algebra. pp. 497, Sheep extra. Twelfth Edition. Svo, pp. 334, Sheepextra, -This work furnishes a description of the instruments Twelfth Edition. vo, pp. 34, Sheep extra, required in the outfit of an Observatory, as also the meth$1 00. ods of employing them, and the computations growing out This treatise is designed to contain as much of Algebra of their use. It treats particularly of the Transit Instruas can be profitably read in the time allotted to this study ment and of Graduated Circles; of the method of determin most of our colleges, and those subjects have been se- ining Time, Latitude, and Longitude; with the compulected which are most important in a course of mathemat. tation of eclipses and occultations. The work is deical study. Particular pains have been taken to cultivate signed for the use of amateur observers, Practical Surveyin the mind of the student a habit of generalization, and ors, and Engineers, as well as students who are engaged to lead him to reduce every principle to its most general in a course of training in our colleges. The Tables which form. It is believed that, in respect of difficulty, this accompany this volume are such as have been found most treatise need not discourage any youth of fifteen years of useful in astronomical computations, and to them has age who possesses average abilities, while it is designed been added a Catalogue of 1500 Stars, with the constants to form close halfits of reasoning, and cultivate a truly required for reducing the mean to the apparent places. philosophical spirit in more mature minds. Recent Progress of Astronony, Eleimients of Geometry especially in the United States. A thoroughly revised Edition of this wornk is now in and Conic Sections. Ninth Edition. 8vo, course of peption. pp. 226, Sheep extra,'75 cents. This volume is designed to exhibit in a popular form The arrangement of the Propositions in this treatise is the most important astronomical discoveries of the past generally the same as in Legendre's Geometry, but the ten years. It treats particularly of the discovery of the form of the demonstrations is reduced more nearly to the planet Neptune, of the new asteroids, of the new satellite model of Euclid. The propositions are all enunciated in and the new ring of Saturn, of the great comet of 1843, general terms, with the utmost brevi.ty which is consis- Biela's comet, Miss Mitchell's comet, &c.; of the parallax tent with clearness. The short treatise on Conic Sec- of fixed stars, motion of the stars, resolution of nebulae, tions appended to this volume is designed particularly for &c.; the history of American observatories, determinathose who have not time or inclination for the study of' tion oflongitude by the electric telegraph, manufacture of Analytical Geometry. telescopes in the United States, &c. HARPER & BROTHERS, PUBLISHERS, FRANKLIN SQUARE, N. Y.