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WHAT WOMEN SHOULD KNOW.
SYNOPSIS OF THE BOOK.
In times past it has been gravely questioned whether women should be allowed
to learn the alphabet. That privilege having been conceded them, it becomes
possible for one possessed with a strong imagination to look forward to the time
when certain knowledge, the absence of which is continually productive of seri-
ous physical and moral errors, shall be deemed alike permissible, if not desirable,
Women need a thorough acquaintanceship with the organs and functions of
lies, in order that they may guard against disease and suffering in
themselves, and that they may bring forth healthy children. They need, too, a
thorough knowledge of the good and evil of the world, so that they may guide
their children safely through the perils which beset their youth and early man-
nood and womanhood, even as a skillful pilot needs to know all the rocks and
shallows of the stream that he may steer his ship clear of them.
This book tells women simply what they ought to know, and without knowing
which they cannot perfectly fulfill their womanly destiny. Its language is plain
and direct, yet marked by no impropriety, and is such as one modest woman can
use in addressing another. It is in its hygienic and general character quite up to
the advanced ideas of the day.
It begins with the physical development of the girl into womanhood, and points
out all the dangers which attend it and mistakes which may be committed. It
treats of love in its various phases, and fearlessly attacks immorality in every
form. It discusses marriage in all its bearings, denounces criminal abortion,
attacking it and pointing out its remedy from a standpoint never directly
assumed by any other author; it refers to children and to inheritance, and argues
at some length the theories concerning the production of the sexes at will. It
enumerates the trials of the young wife, and shows how a false state of society
and a false system of education have augmented them. It treats of pregnancy
and delivery and the management of the new-born babe with a care and minute-
ness not to be found in any other book of its class-a care and minuteness which
will make it invaluable to the young wife and mother. One chapter is devoted to
an infant's dress, telling how it should be made, and giving a full list of articles
of infants' wardrobe, quantity of material required, estimated cost and accurate
directions for making. Another chapter is devoted to diseases of infants, suggest-
ng simple remedies which will usually prove efficacious. The concluding chap.
er treats of the moral responsibilities of motherhood, and the author tries to
impress upon her readers the exalted position of the mother, and that it is second
lo none in honor or importance.
There are two classes who may take exceptions to this book. The first class is
somposed of those who ignore on principle many of the subjects which are treated
in its pages, and who seem to believe that by shutting their eyes to the evils in the
world they do away with them, or at least shift the responsibility from their own
shoulders. This class should be reminded that the evils are, and will continue to
be until that day comes when all good women shall take cognizance of them,
and bring their influence to bear in every possible direction to lessen then.
The second class embraces the evil-minded and the impure-hearted, who are
ready to misconstrue purity itself whenever possible. For the benefit of all such
may be applied to this book the famous motto, literally rendered from the French:
* Shame shall be to him who thinks evil of it.”


What Women Should Know.
A WOMAN'S BOOK ABOUT WOMEN.
CONTAINING
"PRACTICAL INFORMATION FOR WIVES AND MOTHERS.
BY
MRS. E. B. DUFFEY,
Author of "NO SEX IN EDUCATION," "THE RELATION OF THE SEXES,"
etc., etc.
PHILADELPHIA :
FIRESIDE PUBLISHING COMPANY,
20 NORTH SEVENTH STREET,
1882.

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1881, by
FIRESIDE PUBLISHING CO.,
In the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington.

TO THE
WIVES AND MOTHERS OF AMERICA,
IN THE HOPE THAT IT MAY ENLIGHTEN THEM WHEN IGNORANT
. CHEER THEM WHEN DESPONDENT, AND ENCOURAGE THEM TO
ENDURE BRAVELY AND WISELY THE TRIALS INCIDENT TO
THEIR SEX; AND THAT IT MAY ESPECIALLY AID AND
INSPIRE THEM TO BECOME TRUER AND NOBLER WO-
MEN, PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY AND MORALLY,
AND MORE WORTHY REPRESENTATIVES OF
THE AGE IN WHICH WE LIVE,
This Book is respectfully Dedicated
BY THE AUTHOR.


PREFACE.
I NEVER expected to write a book of this charac
ter. If any one had foretold the fact three days be-
fore the work was actually commenced, I should have
indignantly denied the possibility. I had even grave
doubts of the propriety of such books, for I feared
that the motive which led to their perusal was often
a bad rather than a good one.
But a short conversation on certain subjects with a
friend set me to thinking one day. From thinking I
went to writing. And from that writing this book
has gradually developed, first in doubt and hesitancy,
and then, as I progressed, and the urgent need of such
a work was made plainer and plainer to me, with
full faith and courage.
During its writing, I have fully realized what 1
only partially comprehended before the utter, la-
mentable ignorance of women as a class on cei ain

8
PREFACE.
subjects of vital importance to them. And no books
which I have yet seen seem fully adapted to enlighten
this ignorance. Their authors take for granted too
much knowledge on the part of the reader, in the first
place; they omit many things as too trivial, in the
second; and in the third, being of the masculine sex,
they are by no means infallible in such matters.
As questioner after questioner has come to me for
needed knowledge during the writing of this book,
all unknowing of the task upon which I was engaged,
and I have answered them singly, I have become
convinced that what I could thus impart to individual
women with the desire of benefiting them, I might
with equal propriety say to women in the aggregate
with the same purity of motive, and with a like bene-
ficial result.
If any turn to this book with motives other than
pure and honest ones, I hope they will not discover
the mistake they have made in thinking to gratify an
evil curiosity until they have read far enough to find
something especially suited to them, the reading of
which will do them good.

CONTENTS.
INTRODUCTION
PAGH
17
CHAPTER I.
PHYSICAL AND MENTAL DIFFERENCES IN THE SEXES......
CHAPTER II.
THE APPROACH OF PUBERTY...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
CHAPTER III.
PUBERTY
CHAPTER IV.
LOVE IN ITS PHYSICAL AND MORAL PHASES..
CHAPTER V.
WHEN AND WHOM SHALL WOMEN MARRY.
CHAPTER VI.
COURTSHIP AND ENGAGEMENT.....
CHAPTER VII.
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY...
CHAPTER VIII.
TRIALS OF THE YOUNG WIFE.....
139

CONTENTS.
CHAPTER IX.
CHILD-BEARING...
149
CHAPTER X.
THE DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY AND THEIR REMEDIES.... 158
CHAPTER XI.
THE DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY AND THEIR REMEDIES.-
(Continued)...
.......... 179
..............
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
CHAPTER XII.
DELIVERY
195
CHAPTER XIII.
THE SICK ROOM........
221
CHAPTER XIV.
CAN A WOMAN SMOKE ?...
237
CHAPTER XV.
GENERAL DISEASES OF WOMEN....
255
CHAPTER XVI.
MANAGEMENT OF AN INFANT.
271
CHAPTER XVII.
THE DRESS OF AN INFANT..........
285
CHAPTER XVIII.
DISEASES OF INFANTS....
298
CHAPTER XIX.
THE MORAL RESPONSIBILITIES OF MOTHERHOOD.........
315

INDEX OF SUBJECTS.
ABDOMEN, enlargement of, 151.
Bath, manner of taking a, 38.
soreness in lower part of, 224. objections to night, 35.
Abdominal supporter, 259.
proper time for a, 35.
bad effects of con-
shower, 36.
stant use of, 260. snow, 37.
Abortion, causes of, 154.
Bathing, 35.
dangers of, 155.
during pregnancy, 192.
flooding in, 155.
Bed, making the sick woman's, 230.
or miscarriage, 153.
prepared for delivery, 195.
necessity for physician in, 156. what kind shall be used in con
signs of threatened, 156.
finenient, 196.
to prevent recurrence of, 157. Bed-pan, necessity for a, 222.
Acquaintance, best mode of forming, 91. Beds, feather, 196.
Activity of body and mind essential to Bedstead, proper, 197.
a healthy pregnancy, 245.
Best years of a woman's life, 206.
Advantages in daily association of the Bibs and aprons, 297.
sexes, 92.
Bites and stings of insects, 308.
Advertising or answering advertise Blanket, 293.
ments, 104.
Blunders of medical authorities, 199.
After-birth, expulsion of, 214.
Boarding-house life, evils of, 115.
aids in, 214.
Boarding-school life, 55.
Afternoon of life, the, 254.
Bony structure, differences in, 22
After-pains, 213.
Bowels of infant, attention to, 284.
duration of, 213.
evacuation of, on second day, 223,
remedy for, 213.
how to keep open without medi:
Anesthetics in midwifery, 219.
cine, 222
Appetite a tolerably safe guide, 170. Boy beaux, 59.
A reminiscence, 68.
Breasts, enlargement of the, 150.
Arnica, the value of, 307.
Bridal tours, 113.
Avoid quack medicines, 45.
Burns and scalds, 307.
Avoid secresy, 104.
Can a natural state be called a state of
BABE, general management of a, 278.
invalidism, 43.
improper feeding of a, 279.
Care and watchfulness, necessity for, 28.
“longings” of the, 280.
Carminatives and soothing syrups, 277.
oper-air exercise for a, 283.
Cellular system, 24.
shall the mother nurse her, 274. Change of life, symptoms of, 268.
sleep with its mother, shall the,
treatment for disease
281.
incident to, 269.
true kindness to a, 279.
Chapped hands, cure for, 37.
Babe's first bath, 271.
Chastity to be equally desired in both
toilet, 271.
men and women, 81.
Bad counsel and its results, 145.
Child upon birth, attention to the, 211.
Bandage for lying-in women, 215.
Child-bed, possibility of mitigating the
correct manner of putting on,
pains of, 147.
Child-love, 62.
Band, flannel, 289.
Children, desirability of, 121.
upon an infant, how ing to re-
do not necessarily inherit ill-
tain, 282.
health from parents, 87.
Barrecoa' 289.
Chlorosis or green-sickness, 42.
217.
11

12
INDEX OF SUBJECTS.
222.
Chlorosis, avoidance of, 49.
Diet for three days after confinement,
results of, 48.
symptoms of, 48.
of a lying-in woman, 222.
treatment of, 49.
Diphtheria, 306.
Cleanliness, 225.
Dismal forebodings, 143.
Close confinement during pregnancy, Doctor, time to send for a, 201.
bad effects of, 241.
no, absolutely necessary, 203.
Clothing at parties and balls, change of, Doctors, are they necessary in delivery?
231.
97
improper and insufficient, 39. Domestic duties, time of release from,
proper method of making a
110.
girl's, 40,
Dress, 39.
Co-education of the sexes, advantages day, 292.
of, 56.
made with embroidered edging in
Cold feet, 36.
front, 296.
Colic and acidity of the stomach, 277.
made with insertion in front, 295,
cure for, 300.
made with tucked front, 294,
gripes, or, 300.
for winter, 39.
Conception, 119.
Duty of a husband to assist his wife, 160.
a safe preventivo to, 134.
erroneous belief concern EARACHE, 307.
ing, 120.
Early retiring, 38.
Confinement, change of diet after, 235. Early rising, 37.
feelings after a first, 147. “Eating for two," 170.
preparations for, 195. Education of girls, tendency of the, 141,
in bed, injurious effects of Efficient temperance law, 127.
too long, 233.
Enforced child-bearing, 130.
Consent of parents, 105.
Engaged couple, proper degree of famil-
Constipation, 185.
iarity between an, 98.
Convulsions, 313.
Engagements, advantages of short, 100.
Costiveness, 301.
are they absolutely bind-
Course to be pursued by parents, 32.
ing, 100.
Courtship, 91.
behavior during long,
a woman's opportunities in,
100.
94.
Escape, no way of, 146.
should imply, what, 91. Evening visits, 92.
Cows' milk for a babe, 276.
desirability of employe
Cramps, 179.
ment during, 92.
Criminal abortion, 124.
Evil habits, means of cure of, 57.
circumstances which of excited and ungratified curiosity
may extenuate,
31.
124.
Excessive sensual gratification, 118.
how to check, 126. Exerciso, 33.
Croup, 302.
Eyes, use of, during convalescence, 232.
common, 303.
treatment of, 303. FAILURE of babe to make water, 277.
membranous, 304.
Fainting after delivery, 215.
during pregnancy, 181.
DANGER of too hard work, 34.
False bosoms, 42.
Deductions which girls draw from obser- Family, destruction of the, 109.
vation, 141.
personal experience with a
Divery before the proper time, 153.
278.
how long ought a woman to
protection of the, 109.
remain in bed after, 232. Fatherhood and motherhood, obligations
descent of the womb before, 193.
of, 315.
number of attendants during, Female physicians, 201.
199.
Feminine capacity unfairly deci
rule for calculating time of, 152. Feminine intuitions, 26.
personal preparations for, 198. First sitting up, 233.
Development of disease, 28.
Fissure of the anus, 264.
Diapers, 293.
symptoms of, 264.
Diarrhoea, 300.
treatment of, 285.
Diet after third day, 228.
Flooding, 214.

INDEX OF SUBJECTS.
Foeticide, accessory to the crime of, 127. INCONTINENCE of urine, 187.
Food, 33.
Inconvenience of women and men being
after delivery, 219.
both equally entitled to "pop the
artificial, for the babe, 273.
question,” 94.
for the new-born babe, 273.
Infant, sleep of an, 283.
unnecessary during labor, 218. Infant's clothing, looseness necessary in
upon the sick woman, do not
an, 285.
force, 220.
length of an, 286.
For better, for worse," 132.
warmth of an, 287,
Form, observable difference in, 24.
daily bath, 282.
Friend, lack of a wise and judicious, 144.
dresses, general directions con
Friendship, Platonic, 105.
cerning, 294.
purity of boy and girl, 61.
dress, shortening an, 297.
Fruit diet, 171.
first clothing, 197.
in the place of medicine, 172.
sleeping-room, temperature of
Fumigation, 231.
282.
slumber, aids to, 283.
GATHERED breast, 227.
wardrobe, 287.
causes of, 227.
winter clothing, 297.
symptoms of, 227. Inherited traits, 317.
Generation, gravo importance of the Intuitions, 83.
act of, 121.
feminine, 26.
“Generous fellow," the, 78.
Is man undeveloped woman, 25.
Girlhood, influence of, 61.
Is woman undeveloped man, 25
Going to work too soon, 233.
Ivy poisoning, 308.
dangers of, 234.
Grinding pains, 199.
JOB'S comforters, 142.
no bearing down during
the, 205.
KISSES, a woman's, 97
Gripes or colic, 300.
LABOR, condition of bowels at commenco
HAIR during confinement, 198.
ment of, 198.
Have those in ill-health a right to
first stage of, 195.
marry? 87.
pains, false, 189.
Healthy pregnancy, activity of body
position in bed during, 20
and mind essential to, 245.
second stage of, 199.
Heartburn, 187.
support to the back during, 208.
Height, comparative of the two sexes, 22.
proper presentation in, 210.
Hernia or rupture, 298.
third stage of, 205.
cure for groin, 299.
duration of, 206.
navel, 299.
to hasten a tedious, 201.
tight clothing a cause of, 286.
voiding of urine during, 205.
Riccoughs, 300.
Late hours, 95.
Home, the, 109.
Law-makers, culpability of, 126.
construction of the, 112.
Leucorrhoea or whites, 261.
deserters from the, 110.
Light and air, 231.
significance of the word, 110. Limitation of offspring, wrong methods
treasures of the, 111.
of, 133.
keeping woman, the, 244.
Lochial discharges, 223.
Homeless, the, 111.
duration of, 224.
Hooping-cough, 311.
untimely checking
Husband, disadvantages of too great
of, 224.
superiority of age in the, 75. Lola Montez, anecdote of, 237.
and wife, relative ages of, 74. Longing, example of ungratified, 175.
Husband's consolations, a, 143.
Longings, 174.
demands, just cause for a
class of, to be gratified, 175.
refusal of a, 117.
rule regarding, 178.
Husbands, responsibility of, 129.
Love, a boyish, the best safeguard to
Hysteria, 49.
youth, 62.
during pregnancy, 182.
and passion, 63.
how to avoid, 183.
first, 65.
in the pregnant woman,
purity of, 66.
remedy for, 182.
reciprocity of, 87

14
INDEX OF SUBJECTS.
Love, first, does not interfere with sub- | Monstrual flow, first appearance of the,
sequent more lasting affec-
44.
tions, 69.
frequency of appear
transientness of, 67.
ance and length of
at first sight, 102.
duration of, 46.
not always serious
periods, irregularity of the
or lasting, 103.
first, 45.
free, 109.
Menstruation a painless function, 43.
manoeuvres of, 94.
causes of inconvenience
power of, 63.
in, 44.
true, 64.
apparent delay in, 45.
uses of, 64.
profuse, 46.
without passion, 63.
scanty, 47.
Lying-in room, necessities of the, 197. Midwife, requisites of a competent, 2014
ventilation of the, 198. Milk fever and how to check it, 225.
flow of, 225.
MALE associates, 59.
regulating the, 229.
physicians in lying-in chamber, superabundance of, 226.
202.
Miseries of the sick-room, 148.
Man, prudent and industrious, 78.
“Model mother, the," 317.
Marital privileges, abuse of, 116.
Moderate drinker, the, 85.
rights, 129.
Morning-sickness, remedies for, 166.
Marks, 190.
similarity of, to gea-
Marriage, 112.
sickness, 161.
by advertisement, 154.
Motherhood, a perfect, 320.
day, the, 101.
the sacredness of, 320.
evil effects upon men of too Mothers, capabilities of, 240.
early, 74.
culpability of, 41.
evil effects upon women of
do girls look forward to be-
too early, 74.
cominy? 140.
intellectual retrogression af-
indifference or false delicacy
ter, 253.
of, 29.
intellectual retrogression af-
theory vs. practice of Ameri
ter, inexcusable, 253.
can, 28.
does it contract a woman's Mother's duties in sickness, a, 298.
sphere? 253.
mode of training, 52.
of the old with the young,
respousibility, a, 319.
76.
watchfulness over her own
pecuniary considerations in,
children, a, 52.
77.
Mother, the, a proper medium of com-
perfect happiness in, 82.
munication, 29,
proper age for, 72.
Muscular system, 23.
physical relations of, with a
profligate, 112.
NAVEL cord, care necessary in tying the,
moral objections to, with a
212.
profligate, 80.
cutting the, 212.
physical objections to, 79.
separation of the, 272.
a sacrament, 113.
to avoid suffocation by the, 211.
aulages, hasty, 103.
Nausea, 150.
second, 89.
aggravated by the sight of food,
Material for infant's wardrobe, with
159.
(stimated cost, 293,
considered a favorable symptoms
Maternal influences, 318.
of pregnancy, 163.
instinct, the, 139.
description of, 162.
Measles, 310.
exercise a prevention of, 167.
treatment of, 311.
may be relieved, 162.
Medical students, reputation of, 202.
or morning-sickness, 158.
Menopause, or change of life, 266.
Neglected babies, 252.
Wenses, cessation of the, 149.
Nervous system, 23.
suppression of the, 47.
Night-dress, 291.
Menstrual flow, erroneous idea concern Nubility, 72.
ing the character of Nurse a babe, how often to, 218.
the, 46.
7 Nursing-bottle, 276.

INDEX OF SUBJECTS.
16
Nursing of a babe, circumstances for- Pregnant women, no need of greatly en
bidding further, 273.
larged size in, 179.
must they be strict
OFFSPRING, in what manner shall they
housekeepers ? 240.
be limited ? 133.
limitation of, 132.
Preparations for the coming change, 32.
Out-door work, advantage of, 168.
Presentation, face, 210.
· foot, 208.
« Out of her sphere," 160.
of the child determined
Over-exertion, how to decide what is, 24.
without examination,
PALPITATION of the heart, 182.
194.
Parable of the ten talents, 242.
right and wrong, 203.
Passion without love, 64.
Presents, 107.
Patent braces and abdominal supporters, Prevention better than cure, 42.
260,
Producing the sexes at will, 133.
Permanent disposition of patient in Production of the sexes, false theories
bed, 217.
concerning
Perineum, protection of the, ens.
the, 135.
Personal experience, 249.
latest theory
Petticoat, flannel, 289.
in regard
Physician is necessary, cases when, 210.
to, 135.
Piles, 263.
personal opi-
during pregnancy, 186.
nions con
may be avoided, how, 187.
cerning, 136.
precaution against, 208.
evidence of
remedies for, 263.
science in
treatment of, 187.
regard to,
Plain speaking, necessity for, 53,
136.
Platonic friendships, 105.
Profligate and virtuous, how to decide
Plethora and nausea can both bo
between the, 83.
aroided, 163.
Prolapsus uteri, frequent cause of, 235.
dangers of, 163.
prevalence of, 234.
Population, quality, not quantity, of, 133. Proper mating of taste and intellect, 86.
Potter's clay, 273.
degree of familiarity between an
Pregnancy, amount of sleep required
engaged couple, 98.
in, 169.
Propriety vs. possibility, 246.
activity of body and mind Protracted visits, embarrassment of
essential to a healthy, 245.
young lady during, 95.
appearance of the navel in, Pruritus, 185.
151.
Puberty, age at which it is reached, 31.
condition of blood in, 166.
mental signs of the approach
duration of, 152, 195.
of, 32.
flatulence mistaken for, 151.
physical signs of the apprrach
healthful, 167.
of, 31.
indolent feeling during, 169. Publishers, responsibility 125
is it a state of disease or of
health ? 165.
QUACK medicines, avoid, 45.
not a state of disability, 212.
danger of, 126.
other symptoms of, 151. Quickening, 150.
perfect health requisite in,
period of, 150.
165.
sensations of, 150.
perverted appetite during, Quiet, need of, 218.
174.
Quinsy, 307.
sometimes a cure for affec-
tions of the womb, 261. REASONS for exercise and diet prescribed,
symptoms of, 149.
various pains accompany- Recollections, 60.
ing, 188.
Rectum and anus, diseases of, 262.
Pregnant woman, diet of a, 170.
Reformed drunkard, the, 84.
a business life pecu- | Reformed rake, the, 79.
liarly suited to, 243. Reformation necessary before marriage
can she endure pro-
85.
longed mental la- Religion, 86.
bor? 242.
Responsibilities of young girls, 97.
173.

16
INDEX OF SUBJECTS,
Teething, 312.
Temperament, 86.
Thrush or sore mouth, 302.
Too little confidence in nature, 16.
Toothache, 184.
Traits of character, 86.
Trousseaux, 102.
Use of malt liquors by nursing mothes,
274.
VACCINATION, 308.
Varicose or bursted veins, 179.
Violation of nature's laws, 241.
Visits among children, necessity of dig
countenancing, which extend over
the night, 51.
Rest, need of, 220.
Results of unrestrained intercourse bo-
tween the sexes, 58.
Retirement, when shall a pregnant
woman seek, 245.
Robe, 292.
Romping desirable, 34.
Rule for deciding a man's moral charac-
ter, 84.
SALIVATION during pregnancy, 188.
Scarlet fever, 309.
treatment of, 310.
Scars left by the ova, 119.
Secret bad habits, consideration of, im-
portant to mothers,
50.
early acquisition of,
51.
results of improper
associations, 51.
what course shall
a mnother take with
her daughter in
regard to? 53.
Seducer, guilt of the, 128.
Self-abuse, treatment for, 54.
Sexes, the two, 21.
undue familiarity between the, 26.
Shall husband and wife sleep together?
118.
Shirt, linen, 291.
“ Show," the, 195.
Sick-chamber, admission of husband to,
218.
room, appearance of the, 230.
quiet in the, 229.
Skin, the, 24.
Skirts, cotton, 290.
Skirt, embroidered, 291.
tucked, 290.
Sleep, advantages of abundant and un-
disturbed, 220.
Snuffling, 299.
Soce mouth, thrush or, 302.
@ore nipples, 228.
to prevent, 193.
throat, 306.
Stays, evils of, 40.
Sterile husbands, 124.
Sterility, 121.
causes of, 122.
cure of, 123
Stimulants, 219.
Stomach, wind on the, 300.
Strength, how a nursing mother should
obtain, 275.
the woman the best judge of
her own, 232.
Summer complaint, 313.
Swelled feet, 179.
- TAKING a pain," 203.
Teach purity and morality, 58.
WALK, learning to, 284.
Was it not murder ? 130.
Wasted old age, 267.
Weaning, 280.
Weed in the breast, 226.
Wet-nurse, suitable, 276.
When shall certain information be in-
parted? 30.
Whites, leucorrhoea or, 261.
Why sentiment is introduced, 70.
Wife, disadvantages of superior age in
the, 75.
an invalid, 88.
regarded in the light of a nurse,
a, should not be, 88.
to be contemned, 83.
to be envied, 82-
Womanhood, disadvantages and corres-
ponding advantages of, 26.
Woman more than mother, 316.
Woman older than man at the same age,
75.
or mother, which is greatest, 315,
“ Woman who dares, the," 93.
Women not without consciences, 127.
should decide their own capa-
bilities, 239.
should not marry confirmed in-
valids, 87.
Womb, contraction of the, 215.
description of the, 255.
falling or displacement of the
255.
falling of the causes of, 256
mode of treat
ment of, 258.
symptoms of, 257.
sometimes incura-
ble, 259.
ulceration of the, 261.
various displacements of the, 256.
Wrapper, print, 292.
YOUNG wives do not always wish for
children, 142

INTRODUCTION.
THE writer of this book-a book designed for
women exclusively—is a woman, a wife and a
mother. These facts alone, with the experiences they
involve, seem to give her qualifications for the work
she has undertaken superior, in many respects, to
those possessed by any man, professional or otherwise.
She has passed through all or nearly all the experi-
ences possible to a woman in the exercise of the mater-
nal functions passed through them with thought
and watchfulness, taking careful note of everything,
in an earnest endeavor to acquire a knowledge that
might be of benefit both to herself and to others of
her sex. She has felt, observed, reflected and studied.
The conclusions arrived at are so different, in some
respects, from those recorded by the majority of
writers on the subjects indicated, that, impressed as
she is with their absolute correctness, she has fel it
her duty, in a measure, to make them public.
The larger class of writers in regard to womanly
2
17
*

18
INTRODUCTION.
functions, capabilities and incapabilities, have been
men. From Michelet, who regards the normal state
of womanhood as one of pretty and useless invalidism,
to the unnumbered hosts of English and American
authors and essayists, they all set up before us &
purely ideal creation, eliminated from their masculine
brains, and differing as widely from the reality as-
well, say, as man from woman.
Michelet's idea of the invalidism and mental and
physical incapacity of woman, however absurd and
ridiculous it may appear in his statement of it, is,
after all, the masculine idea, and is present in essence,
at least, in most masculine writings. Even social
and political questions in which the interests of
women are involved cannot be discussed without
this [assumed] invalidism being thrown at our heads.
We are expected to relapse into silence and submis-
sion at the slightest hint of it, partly overcome by
modesty, and partly by the [equally assumed] unan-
swerableness of the charge.
Men have had their say. It is but fitting now
that a woman should have hers, especially as the
woman who assumes to speak does so with an
authority man cannot venture to claim.
But another-and, I hope, my strongest-motive for
writing is the desire to bring some message of relief

INTRODUCTION.
19
to suffering womanhood—to womanhood suffering un-
necessarily through ignorance and the perverted
teachings of others. .
This has been called, and not without reason," the
woman's century.” Women are striving to do, and
claiming the right to do, many things that have here-
tofore been considered entirely beyond their physical
and mental capabilities. Even the most reluctant
conservatism is gradually yielding, not so much to
the force of their arguments as to the convincing
power of their acts, which speak louder than words.
It is not my purpose, in this book, to indulge in
any discussion in regard to women's right to enter
any field of labor they may see fit to select. My aim
is, rather, while making this a complete handbook
of general knowledge for women concerning all the
special physical functions of their sex, to try to find
what bearing these functions, and the duties resulting
from their exercise, have upon the ambitions and
desires of the representative women of to-day.
One fact all candid women will admit, that their
sex now labors under physical disabilities which, if
no means be discovered for their removal, must prove
an effectual bar to any general prosecution of the
plans devised for woman by those who are seeking to
ameliorate her condition. Mentally, too, as well as

20
INTRODUCTION.
physically, our women and girls fall far below the
standard they should reach. To tell the truth, when
I think over all their shortcomings, I am ashamed
of them. Now, please do not set this down as an
especial disparagement of my sex. No doubt were
I to give an equal amount of thought and considera-
tion to the failings of men, I should be equally
ashamed. But it is women of whom and to whom I
am now talking, and men may go unmolested for
the present.
However, when I see the frivolity and narrow-
mindedness so often exhibited by women; when so
many evidences of their general ill-health meet my
observation on every side; it does not seem strange to
me that conservatism, as regarding the widening of
“woman's sphere,” should find so many champions,
and such apparently strong arguments upon which to
base its objections. It is only when these champions
insist upon making this weakness of mind and body
constitutional-something inherent in the sex—that
I become exasperated. And this exasperation, so long
belt, so frequently provoked to activity, I may give as
an additional and by no means slight motive to the
writing of the present book.

WHAT WOMEN SHOULD KNOW.
CHAPTER I.
PHYSICAL AND MENTAL DIFFERENCES IN THE SEXES
THE Two SEXES.—“So God made man in his own
image, in the image of God created he him; male and
female created he them.” No disrespect to the revered
chronicle is intended in taking from it a text, as it
were, for my discourse. Humanity, thus created male
and female, presents, in each of the two parts of which
it is composed, distinct characteristics, distinct func-
tions and distinct capabilities, both mental and
physical. Whether these distinctive features or differ-
ences are to be accepted as proof positive that the
work of the two sexes in the world should be totally
different; whether both should perform the same
work, only independently and in a different manner;
or whether they should be mutually helpful in the
same labor,-I will leave for others to discuss. My
sole aim now is to impart to those who need it

22
DIFFERENCES IN THE SEXES.
plain and practical advice based upon experience and
common sense. If now and then I temporarily turn
aside from the straight path I have marked out for
myself into the domain of theory and speculation, it
is from a sincere conviction that I am justified by
facts in doing so. And now let us, first of all, ex-
amine into the physical points of difference between
the sexes.
COMPARATIVE HEIGHT OF THE TWO SEXES.—The
average stature of woman is less than that of man.
The average height of mankind varies in different
countries and different races. Even inhabitants in
different sections of the same country show different
averages of height. Nevertheless, the relative stature
of the two sexes remains about the same.
DIFFERENCES IN THE BONY STRUCTURE.—The
whole osseous structure of woman is more delicate
and less extended than that of man. The skull is
smaller, and the bones of the cranium thinner and
more pliant. The ribs of woman join more nearly
at right angles with the spine, and are broader and
flatter than in man. The thorax is consequently
shorter and its upper part larger. The sternum is
shorter and flatter, and the clavicles crookeder and
shorter. The angles of the bones in general are less
projecting, and their articulations or connections
better concealed. The most noticeable difference,
however, in the bony structure of the two sexes is
observable in the pelvis. That of man is constructed
simply to subserve the purposes of strength and mo-

NERVOUS SYSTEM.
23
tion; that of woman, in addition to this, is destined
to become the first cradle of the yet unborn babe, and
finally to allow the safe transit of the child through
its basė. Its diameters, therefore, are broader. This
larger and broader pelvis gives a greater breadth to
the hips.
MUSCULAR SYSTEM.—While the muscular system
of woman is not so marked or so well developed as
that of man, it possesses greater mobility, delicacy
and sensibility. Thus a woman is compensated by
her quickness and dexterity for her lack of strength.
NERVOUS SYSTEM.—The nervous system is more
refined and delicate in woman than in man. This
fact renders it liable to diseases and complications of
diseases of which men have no experience. On the
other hand, this disadvantage is compensated for by
its extreme sensibility and susceptibility to impres-
sions, giving to woman not only a greater capacity for
pain, but a greater capacity for pleasure also. This
extreme sensitiveness to suffering bestowed upon the
half of humanity which is destined by nature to
suffer the most would seem unjust, were it not coun-
terbalanced by a power of endurance far exceeding
that of the other sex. In denying woman this, as
many writers do, the greatest injustice is done her.
For, notwithstanding her extreme nervous sensibility,
how bravely, patiently and almost uncomplainingly
does woman bear the pains and sufferings of child-
bed !-pains and sufferings of which men can form
but the remotest idea.

24
DIFFERENCES IN THE SEXES.
SANGUINIFEROUS SYSTEM.-In woman the circula-
tion of the blood is carried on with more rapidity,
but with less force, than in man. The arteries are
smaller, more easily urged into action, and this action
is more easily subdued. The veins are more strongly
marked upon the surface of the body, are fuller and
more disposed to become varicose.
CELLULAR SYSTEM.—The cellular system of wo-
man differs decidedly from that of man. It is more
abundant, more flexible and better supplied with
moisture. It surrounds the frame more completely,
especially about the joints, and gives a roundness
and softness of outline to woman which is lacking in
man.
THE SKIN.—The texture of the skin is much finer,
more elastic, more transparent and more sensitive in
woman than in man. Thus we often find women
whose sense of touch is far superior to that of men.
They seem to literally see in the dark, not with their
visual organs, but with the ends of their fingers. A
man, if he wishes to find anything at night, takes a
lamp to aid him in his search, while a woman in the
same case will be likely to go in the dark, and deter-
mine the whereabouts of the object of her search by
the use of her fingers alone.
OBSERVABLE DIFFERENCE IN FORM.-A man,
standing erect, is like an inverted cone, his feet repre-
senting the apex and his shoulders the base. A well-
developed man will present the greatest breadth of
body across the shoulders, his hips will be small, his

• IS MAN UNDEVELOPED WOMAN?
2F
limbs showing muscular development. A woman's
shoulders are narrow, her bust full, her hips broad;
and even if her limbs are more or less developed
muscularly, this development is hidden by the cellular
tissue which fills all hollows and rounds all angles.
Is WOMAN UNDEVELOPED MAN?—It has been
suggested by some who have claimed to give the
matter consideration that woman is undeveloped man
Such a theory is absurd upon its very face. A
woman's physical organs are more complex, her func-
tions and capabilities more numerous and more varie l.
She is subject to greater extremes of pain and of joy.
Is MAN UNDEVELOPED WOMAN?-If I were to
argue from these points, I might rather contend that
man was undeveloped woman. And such a declara-
tion would have some show of reason from the well-
known facts that if a woman, through the exigencies
of disease, is obliged to have her ovaries removed
the physical features which essentially constitute her
womanhood-she becomes gradually more masculine
in appearance and character, her voice assumes a
gruffer tone, and even traces of a beard become some-
times discernible. On the other hand, an emasculated
man does not become feminine in his nature. His
physical development increases, while he loses all the
softening and humanizing characteristics which are
the best and noblest traits of manhood. He becomes,
in fact, a splendid brute. In both cases it must be
deterioration, though the theorists to which I have
referred would have to declare, to be consistent with

26
DIFFERENCES IN THE SEXES.
their theories, that in suffering this physical mutila-
tion a woman became more perfectly developed.
BOTH THEORIES INCORRECT.—But these theories
--the one which I have quoted and the one which I
suppose myself to advance—are both equally erro-
neous. Neither man nor woman is the duplicate of
the other, superiorly or inferiorly developed. They
are each halves of a perfect whole. Their very differ-
ences, while they render either sex incapable of com-
parison with the other, contribute to constitute perfec-
tion when they are united.
DISADVANTAGES AND CORRESPONDING ADVAN-
TAGES OF WOMANHOOD.—What a woman lacks in
strength she makes up in adroitness, skill and deli-
cacy of touch. What disadvantages she suffers from
over-sensibility of organization are atoned for by
greater powers of endurance. Her brain is smaller,
but its tissues are finer.
FEMININE INTUITIONS.—If a woman cannot reason
as directly and logically as a man (and that is one of
the grave charges brought against her), she reaches as
certain a conclusion far sooner by means of her intui-
tions, and having reached that conclusion, she turns
about and begins to reason backward toward the
starting-point, astonishing the man by meeting him
halfway, going in a direction the exact opposite of
*his own. This intuition is a wonderful faculty. It
leads a woman to make her statement first and study
out the why and wherefore afterward. This may
not seem a logical proceeding to men, but as women

FEMININE INTUITIONS.
27
constitute fully one-half the human race, I do not
know that the other, an interested half, is capable of
giving an unbiased decision in this matter. It is as
though two men were engaged in a lawsuit, and one
of them should elect himself umpire and decide the
caso for them both. The best and wisest of the other
bex are ready to give our intuitions all the considera-
tion we claim for them, and to acknowledge that the
reasonings of even a wise man possess little authority
or claim for credence until they are supported by the
intuitions of a good and wise woman. The masculine
process of reasoning is the sum in arithmetic; the
feminine is the proving of that sum by working it
backward. Thus, in its mental processes, as in its
physical organization, each sex becomes the comple-
ment of the other.

CHAPTER II.
THE APPROACH OF PUBERTY.
NECESSITY FOR CARE AND WATCHFULNESS.-
The period at which puberty—or the time when a
girl passes from childhood into womanhood—is
reached is one of the most important in woman's life.
Upon her health, as then established, depends all her
future physical well- or ill-being.
DEVELOPMENT OF DISEASE.—It is a period at
which any latent seeds of disease are most liable to be
developed. If the girl is known to have any consti-
tutional or inherited tendencies toward special dis-
eases, extra precautions should now be taken to guard
against them. Consumption is one of the evils to be
dreaded. If there is any taint of insanity, it is now
exceedingly liable to show itself. Spinal disease may
now be developed, and render its victim a life-long
invalid. It is a time when guardians cannot be too
watchful, and when the girl herself should be sup-
plied with all needful information, that, through ignor-
ance, she may commit no fatal error.
THEORY vs. PRACTICE OF AMERICAN MOTHERS. —
Though we in America have theoretically reached a
point on this question somewhat in advance of that
28

A PROPER MEDIUM OF COMMUNICATION.
29
arrived at by French and Italian mothers—who believe
that innocence is compatible only with absolute ignor-
ance, and whose every effort in the rearing of their
daughters is directed toward bringing them to the
arms of their future husbands totally uninformed
regarding the mysteries of nature-still, in practice
most of us are scarcely more sensible than they.
INDIFFERENCE OR FALSE DELICACY OF MOTHERS.
--We supp'- our daughters to acquire this know-
ledge somehow, but, yielding to a false delicacy or
criminal indifference, where or by what means we
never inquire. The result is that young girls gain
much unnecessary knowledge, while that which is
absolutely essential to their health and well-being they
are often ignorant of.
THE MOTHER A PROPER MEDIUM OF COMMUNI-
CATION.-A mother should never leave to chance or
to the communications of young associates the impart-
ing of this knowledge, which so closely concerns the
girl's future welfare. If she has maintained that
intimacy of relationship which should exist between
mother and daughter, and which, if it does not exist,
must be due to some grave error of the mother, she
will not find her task a difficult one. If she believes
it impossible to approach the subject naturally and
properly with her daughter, there are always good
books within reach which she can safely place in that
daughter's hands, knowing that within them she will
find all necessary information, and that, reading them
with her mother's sanction, the daughter will escape

30
THE APPROACH OF PUBERTY.
that prurient curiosity which a secret reading would
be sure to engender.
WHEN SHOULD CERTAIN INFORMATION BE Iv-
PARTED ?—For my own part, I am exceedingly radical
on this point. I can hardly expect the majority of
parents to agree with me, yet I am thus far perfectly
satisfied with the results of my course. In a family
of children I would have no mysteries. There should
be no fables of babies brought by doctors or nurses,
or being found under cabbage-leaves. While chil-
dren should be taught there were certain subjects not
proper for general or frivolous conversation, I would
still have these subjects explained and understood,
and, when it seemed desirable or necessary, plainly
and freely discussed before or with them. A carefully-
trained daughter will see nothing to excite merriment
when the sufferings and perils of maternity are
described properly to her, and there could be no
greater check upon the levity of less carefully edu-
cated, though perhaps not really evil-minded, com-
panions, when they sought to impart knowledge—not
necessarily improper knowledge, but knowledge im-
properly obtained—than for this daughter to say,
“I know all that: my mother told me.” It robs the
whole subject at once of that pleasant secresy and
impropriety which to some minds attends stolen
knɔwledge. Besides, a daughter thus well informed
cannot fail to have a greater love and reverence
for that mother, who, to give her life, has suffered so
much

PHYSICAL SIGNS OF ITS APPROACH.
31
EVIL OF EXCITED AND UNGRATIFIED CURIOSITY,
-It is a natural yet unduly excited curiosity, rather
than sensuality, which is the stumbling-block in the
way of most young girls, even leading to their moral
ruin. Such curiosity is, I believe, most effectually
stifled by the course I have recommended above.
AGE AT WHICH PUBERTY IS REACHED.—The
age at which puberty is reached varies in individuals,
in races and in climates. In warm climates girls
develop into womanhood sooner than in cold ones.
In our own climate, and in the white race, girls
usually reach this period somewhere between thirteen
and fifteen years of age. I have known of cases even
two years earlier, and others two years later, but
fourteen may be set down as the average age.
PHYSICAL SIGNS OF THE APPROACH OF PUBERTY.
--The signs of the approach of this period are easily
recognized. The young girl has nearly reached the
stature of womanhood, having perhaps grown very
rapidly during the previous year or two. If she is
tall, she most probably gives the impression of nothing
but height, and is not inaptly described by her friends
as a “bean-pole.” Though her bust begins to fill
out, her form still lacks that roundness and softness
of outline which a few years will add to it. Her
appetite is capricious. If she is subject to close con
finement or hard study, it will tell upon her as at no
other period. She does not feel either strong or well,
though she does not complain of actual sickness,
The inconsiderate will probably call her lazy.

32
THE APPROACH OF PUBERTY.
MENTAL SIGNS OF ITS APPROACH.—The mental
signs are no less marked than the physical. The
young girl, who may heretofore have been ordinarily
placid and even in temper, suddenly develops an
unwonted petulance and fretfulness. She is subject to
fits of nervous depression for which she cannot her-
self account; and she is equally subject to spells of
nervous exaltation or excitability. She becomes
moody, and desires to be frequently alone. She
exhibits various phases of mawkish sentimentality,
that would perhaps be amusing and ridiculous, were
they not to be set down as inevitable symptoms of
the coming change.
COURSE TO BE PURSUED BY PARENTS.—Her
parents and friends should bear with her patiently
and indulgently, and have no fears that her freaks
and whims will become permanent characteristics.
Let her vagaries of temper and demeanor be checked
with gentleness and consideration. Of all things,
avoid ridicule. She is particularly sensitive at this
period, and her melancholies and unhappinesses, as
groundless as they may appear to others, all seem to
her to have a substantial basis.
PREPARATIONS FOR THE COMING CHANGE.—The
only preparations which can be made for the coming
change are to take special care of the general health,
and to guard the mind from everything which can
unduly excite or depress it. Physical or mental
stimulation, from whatever cause, is of all things to
be most carefully avoided.

EXERCISE.
33
FOOD.-The food must be most nutritious, yet not
stimulating. Milk, butter and eggs are all desirable
and even necessary articles of diet for the young girl.
Meat should be moderately partaken of, but not in
excess. Tea and coffee should both be avoided, as
should also rich and highly-spiced food, sweets and
pickles. Fruit and vegetables are always desirable
articles of diet, but they are not enough of themselves
alone, as they do not contain sufficient nutritive prop-
erties. The girl's system needs nourishing and
sustaining now more than at any other period. If
she exhibits any morbid appetites—and girls at this
critical age frequently develop strange fancies for
chalk and slate-pencils, and sometimes vinegar-a
wise mother will regard these as indications of certain
wants in the girl's system which are thus being sup-
plied. Instead of forbidding the indulgence of these
appetites, and then thinking no more about the matter,
she will endeavor to find out what it is her daughter
requires, and then at once supply it in the more appro-
priate form of food. Thus the need of bran bread,
and of food in which phosphates are largely present, is
indicated by a morbid craving for chalk; and the free
use of fruit and vegetables will correct the unnatural,
or, rather, unusual, desire for acids.
EXERCISE.—Plentiful exercise in the open air is
of the utmost importance. Some mothers see no
necessity for this, and say that if their daughters
perform their proper dare of the household labor,
they will get all the exercise they need. I would not

34
THE APPROACH OF PUBERTY.
have the young girl excluded from participation in
domestic duties. Such a participation may prove
beneficial to her health now, and equally important
as regards a proper knowledge of the probable duties
of her future life.
DANGER OF TOO HARD WORK.—But work is not
exercise, and the girl who is kept so busily employed
in kitchen and chamber that she has neither time nor
disposition for romps in the open air is made to work
too hard. And there is most certainly such a thing
as making a girl work too hard at this age. There
are many things which seem trifling for a healthful,
well-developed woman to do, which are exceedingly
hard and hurtful to the undeveloped girl. Lifting,
stooping, carrying heavy weights, too prolonged exer-
tion in any one direction, are all exceedingly injurious.
Some girls, of course, can naturally do more than
others; and if a girl be weak, hard labor will take
away from, rather than add to, the little strength she
has.
ROMPING DESIRABLE. I would, at this period,
allow a girl to be as “ tomboyish" as her inclinations
lead her to be. I have little patience with calis-
thenics, gymnastics, the use of the dumb-bells and
other feminine substitutes for exercise which so many
persons recommend. I have still less with those
people who constantly check a young girl in her every
effort to give natural play to her muscles by telling
her that she is almost a woman now, and it is very
improper and unlady-like for her to be so rude. I

OBJECTION TO NIGHT BATHING.
35
hold that the very fact that at this age she seems
more prone to romping than at any other is positive
proof that nature requires this means to develop her
into healthy womanhood: therefore, it is perfectly
proper. Let her ride, drive, row, swim, run, climb
fences, and even trees, if she has a mind to. She is
only laying the foundation for future good health.
BATHING.—As frequent bathing is an essential for
the enjoyment of perfect health for any human being,
so is it especially desirable at this age.
PROPER TIME FOR A BATH.—The middle of the
forenoon is usually recommended as the best time for
taking a bath; but this recommendation is given with
the frequent narrow-sightedness of physicians, who,
spending their whole time in taking care of the
health of other people, forget that these people have
anything else to do besides looking after it themselves.
A suggestion of this sort, to be of any avail, must be
one that can be easily followed. You may, tell people
that they must bathe daily at ten o'clock in the morn-
ing, but very few will have time or inclination to
obey the direction. Most girls have something to do
besides thinking about their health, and we must try
to reconcile these apparently conflicting duties. The
best time for bathing, to my mind, because the most
convenient and the one most likely to be used, is that
upon rising and before dressing in the morning.
OBJECTION TO NIGHT BATHING.—A cold bath at
night excites and stimulates the system too much, and
is apt to interfere with sleep.

36
THE APPROACH OF PUBERTY.
MANNER OF TAKING A BATH.—Not quoi than
five minutes need be spent in these morning abiations,
a brief plunge in the bath-tub, followed by brisk rub-
bing, will be found agreeable and desirable. When
there is no bath-tub, a common hand-basin filled with
water is all that is needed. The water is best cold,
if the system can bear it. If not, it may be tepid,
but it is best to try and gradually reduce the temper-
ature. Winter and summer this bath should be con-
tinued; and when one becomes accustomed to it, even
ice-cold water will not be objected to in the severest
weather. The bathing should be as rapid as possible,
and can be done with the hand alone or with a sponge
or rag. I am inclined to believe the friction of the
hand preferable. The rubbing with the towel in
drying should be brisk, and sufficient to bring a glow
to the skin. The clothing should be put on immedi-
ately afterward. Any one who has made a trial of
these daily morning baths will be loth to relinquish
them.
SHOWER BATHS.-Some people may derive benefit
from shower baths, but from my own experience I
cannot recommend them. They produce too great a
shock for a nervous or sensitive organization, and I
think them especially inappropriate for a young girl
just approaching womanhood.
COLD FEET.—Girls as they approach puberty are
frequently subject to cold feet. The exception I
would make in favor of night bathing is in bathing

EARLY RISING.
37
the feet. If the feet are plunged into cold water just
before going to bed, immediately withdrawn and
briskly rubbed with a coarse towel, the trouble of
cold feet at night will in all probability soon disap-
pear. This is, besides, an excellent remedy for sleep-
lessness. The reaction from the cold bath, in draw-
ing the blood to the feet, consequently draws it away
from the brain, and that quiet is induced which is
necessary to peaceful and beneficial sleep.
SNOW BATÁS.-Few people know the luxury of
a snow bath, for to one whose system is inured to the
use of cold water in the daily morning bath it is
indeed a luxury. And here let me tell a secret to
young girls: There is no cosmetic to be obtained at
the druggist's so potent in its effects and so harmless
in its results as snow. The requisites for a snow bath
are a basin of snow and a piece of castile soap. Wash
thoroughly hands, arms, face and neck with the snow
and soap. Every impurity of the skin which water
sometimes fails to remove in cold weather will dis-
appear under their united influence. .
CURE FOR CHAPPED HANDS.-Snow and soap are
a sure remedy for chapped hands, removing all the
roughness and soreness, and leaving the skin soft,
white and pure as a baby's. I have seen this remedy
tried with perfect success in most aggravated cases.
EARLY RISING.—I plead guilty to being an earnest
and honest opponent, on principle, to early rising.
Those who desire to rise early, and who find they feel
better for it, are welcome to do so. But I maintain

38
THE APPROACH OF PUBERTY.
that a loss of necessary sleep is no gain to the indi
vidual. And he or she who would rise with the birds
of a summer morning certainly loses necessary rest,
unless he or she retires with or before the chickens at
night.
EARLY RETIRING.—If people would talk about
* early retiring” instead of “early rising,” then I
might possibly agree with them. No person, until he
or she has fully reached man's or woman's estate,
should, except on the rarest occasions, be out of bed
after nine o'clock in the evening--ten o'clock is
late enough for any one but the veriest owl; and if
these hours are observed, the rising will take care of
itself.
TIME NECESSARY FOR SLEEP.—Some people whose
physical system is developed, rather than their ner-
vous or mental one, may find seven hours' sleep
amply sufficient for their needs. I knew one old
gentleman who, finding five hours all that he required.
or could obtain, insisted that no one else needed any
more, and that we were all a race of sluggards, to go
to bed before eleven or twelve or lie there later than
four or five. But each individual must be a judge
of his or her own needs. For the young girl, espe-
cially at this critical period of her life, I think a large
amount of sleep is required. Her nerves are not
necessarily deranged, but she is in a condition when
they will easily become so; and plenty of sound,
healthful sleep is the best preventive against this dan-
ger. This, too, is a time when the brain is more

IMPROPER AND INSUFFICIENT CLOTHING.
39
easily excited to unhealthful activity, and prolonged
sleep is the only remedy for this trouble and antidote
to its evil effects. There should be imperatively no
late night hours, nor should there be allowed any
lingering in bed in the morning after the soundness
of sleep is broken. In ordinary cases nine hours is
not too much time out of the twenty-four for a girl to
devote to sleep. If she says she needs and uses ten,
do not dispute the fact or deny her the privilege; only
try that the extra hour shall be added in the evening
rather than in the morning.
DRESS.—I feel almost discouraged before even
beginning the discussion of the subject of dress; for
after so many have spoken earnestly and yet vainly,
I know how little anything I may say will be heeded.
Still, it is one of the most important things to be con-
sidered in the case of a young girl.
DRESS FOR WINTER.-Her dress should be amply
warm and comfortable for winter. There should be
under-clothing of flannel or merino. The stockings
should be wool, and the shoes thick-soled, solid and
stout. (Is there any use in entering a protest against
too high heels ?)
IMPROPER AND INSUFFICIENT CLOTHING AT PAR-
TIES AND BALLS.—No exigency of dinner or evening
entertainment should ever sanction a mother, espe-
cially at this critical period, in sending a daughter out
into inclement weather, and afterward into ill-venti-
lated and ill-heated rooms, clad in garments which
from their scantiness are hardly appropriate for sum-

THE APPROACH OF PUBERTY.
mer. Bare neck and arms have been sufficient in
many a case to send a young girl to her grave.
PROPER METHOD OF MAKING A GIRL'S CLOTH-
ING.—I have nothing to say about the material or
special fashioning of a girl's clothing. These matters
mothers must decide, bringing to their aid good
natural common sense and that judgment which it is
to be hoped) years of experience have endowed them
with. True, I have my opinions, but I will not
and chest must be worn loosely. To secure this, let
everything be fastened with buttons. If hooks and
eyes can be used, it is a very good sign that the cloth-
ing is too tight. The mother should see that as her
daughter's form develops there is no binding about
the breast. There should be ample breathing-room,
and ample room for development. There should be
no weight depending from the hips. Waists and
straps should carry the burden to the shoulders, or,
what is better, distribute it evenly to all the muscles
of the body.
EVILS OF STAYS.—There must be no Corset Worn.
Aside from the evils of tight lacing, toward which
there is always a temptation when stays are worn,
the stays are in every way injurious. The bones
which stiffen them press against the tender tissues
of the growing bust, not only preventing its full
development, but laying the foundation for future
troubles when the girl shall become a woman and a
mother. They press against the heart and retard its

CULPABILITY OF MOTHERS.
41
functions, leading to various complications of that
organ which sometimes result in death. They weaken
the stomach, the bowels and the lungs by checking
their action, so that chronic dyspepsia, constipation
and consumption may result directly and solely from
their use. They are frequently an active agent in
liver complaint, hindering the free action of those
organs whose duty it is to secrete and dispense bile.
They weaken the muscles of the entire chest, so that
in time they become a necessity, and without them
the girl feels as if she were “falling to pieces.” She
gets to actually believe that God and nature were not
competent to create her in perfection, but that she
needs a supplemental skeleton worn on the outside to
complete her. The tendency of stays is to compress
the internal organs and push them downward, and
then there results a long train of evils, known as
“female complaints," which unmarried women ought
to be ashamed to confess to, but which are frightfully
prevalent among them.
CULPABILITY OF MOTHERS.-A woman who has
these facts brought before her, and who still, for
fashion's sake, persists in putting her young daughter
into stays, is unworthy to be a mother. I some-
times think the law ought to take cognizance of such
cases, and punish them as a crime only less in degree
than murder. It is not actually depriving another
of life, but it is to a certainty rendering that life
miserable, and the sufferer incompetent to the complete
and easy performance of the duties assigned her.

42
THE APPROACH OF PUBERTY.
FALSE BOSOMS.— A mother should discountenance
in her daughter the use of cotton to give the appear-
ance of a full development of the breasts. Not only
is it a most clumsy device which never for one mo-
ment causes art to be mistaken for nature, but it is
also an injurious practice. The cotton heats and
debilitates the mammary glands, while its weight and
pressure prevent their full growth and expansion.
If nature has really been niggardly, and her work
seems to need supplementing, there are false busts to
be obtained at the stores, light and airy in construc-
tion, which can be worn with perfect safety, and which
far better counterfeit nature. It should be borne in
mind, however, that, though girls of foreign birth or
extraction frequently possess busts of extreme fullness,
this is not a characteristic of an American girl; that
slenderness of form and delicacy of outline, rather
than voluptuous development, are her attributes; and
that she who simulates the full and rounded bosom
of the matron lays herself open to the possible charge
of vulgarity.
PREVENTION BETTER THAN CURE.— I have always
believed prevention better than cure. And the mother
who, in the care of her daughter, sees that the direc-
tions I have given are faithfully carried out, may feel
tolerable confidence that that daughter will be usher-
ed into womanhood safely, and subject to none of the
distressing complaints which so often render a wo-
man's life one of misery and uselessness.

CHAPTER III.
PUBERTY.
CAN A NATURAL STATE BE CALLED A STATE OF
INVALIDLYM ?-I have just been glancing at a modern
American book, bearing the name of a well-known
physician, and treating of the functions and diseases
of women, and I have shut it in disgust on finding
the same idea which Michelet has so sentimentally
elaborated--namely, that woman's natural state is
that of invalidism, and that all her peculiar natural
functions are unavoidably attended with pain, incon-
venience and disability. Speaking of a woman's
monthly periods, this physician says: “More or less
pain, more or less prostration and general disturbance,
at these epochs are universal and inevitable.” At the
first glance I feel that, as a physician, he ought to
know better. But on second thoughts I consider that,
as a physician, he only knows of the cases of sickness
and suffering, for those who do not suffer of course
do not need his assistance. But there never was a
greater mistake-a mistake which underlies all the
others regarding woman's abilities and disabilities.
MENSTRUATION A PAINLESS FUNCTION.—A Wo-
man in complete health should menstruate with per-
43

44
PUBERTY.
fect freedom from pain, and with the least possible
inconvenience. She will not even feel prostrated.
The only difference at such periods is that she is
more liable to weariness and prostration from over-
exertion. This freedom from suffering is not rare.
Menstruation is not a disease, nor should it reduce to
a state of even slight temporary invalidism. When
all the organs are in health and work in harmony, it
will not do so. That it frequently does, I admit;
but in these cases there is disarrangement. It is not
the result of natural law.
CAUSES OF INCONVENIENCE.— When any incon-
venience is felt, it may be depended upon that there
is either inherited or organic difficulty, or that im-
proper habits and modes of life and dress, for which
the woman herself, her mother or society is respon-
sible, lead to these deplorable results. When one
reflects how many false theories are imposed upon
women by custom and fashion and notions of pro-
priety, it is not to be wondered at that many women
do suffer somewat, and some women exceedingly, at
such periods. But i repeat it—it is not the ordering
of nature; and the fact that those who are sterile,
and those who are subject to miscarriage, suffer most,
bears me out in my belief. These two classes are
both removed from a natural condition of health.
FIRST APPEARANCE OF THE MENSTRUAL Flow.
When proper precautions have been observed, and
when there is no organic or inherited difficulty, the
girl will, at the right period, be it sooner or later,

THE FIRST MENSTRUAL PERIODS.
45
become subject to the menstrual discharge. This is
frequently preceded for some weeks or months by a
slight colorless flow, which is an evidence that nature
is about her work. There is nothing in this discharge
to occasion alarm or require medical treatment.
APPARENT DELAY IN ITS APPEARANCE.—Eveu
if there should be delay in the appearance of the
menses after a girl has reached an age when she may
naturally look for them, and when all the symptoms
of their approach have been detected, there is still
no occasion for uneasiness so long as her health re-
mains unimpaired.
AVOID QUACK MEDICINES.—If the mother cannot
suppress her anxiety, let her lay the facts of the case
before her family physician, and then repose the
utmost confidence in him when he reiterates the state-
ment I make here, that medical treatment is unneces-
sary. Let her by no means have recourse to the
patent medicines the advertisements of which meet
our eye in nearly all the public prints. Their use
will most probably consign her daughter to a life of
suffering, if they do not seal her death-warrant.
Too LITTLE CONFIDENCE IN NATURE.--We are
all more or less inclined to have too little confidence
in nature, and to place too great faith in the power
of drugs. The truth is that nature is fully compe-
tent to carry out her own plans in all cases when
obstructions are not placed in her way.
IRREGULARITY OF THE FIRST MENSTRUAL PE-
RIODS.—The first menstrual discharge may or may

46
PUBERTY.
not be slight, and frequently, it is several months
before the second makes its appearance. If the girl's
health remains undisturbed, subject only to the ner-
vous and mental fluctuations which are natural to her
age, there is no occasion for alarm. After the second
or third period, regularity will probably be established.
ERRONEOUS IDEA CONCERNING THE CHARACTER
OF THE MENSTRUAL FLOW.—A notion prevails
among ignorant people—one of the traditions handed
down from a less enlightened age—that this discharge
carries away the bad blood from the system. This is
entirely erroneous. It is the same blood as that
which courses through the veins, thinned and altered
slightly in character by the mucous discharges of the
passages through which it flows. If its flow is
arrested, serious consequences will ensue; not because
the blood retained poisons the system, but because the
system becomes deranged in consequence of the sus-
pension of one of the acts of nature.
FREQUENCY OF ITS APPEARANCE AND LENGTH
OF DURATION.—Regularity is the main thing in this
discharge. Its time of duration and its time of inter-
val may and do differ in individuals. It should last
from two to six days, and it may come at intervals of
from three to six weeks, though four is the general
rule. So long as there is no irregularity, no inconve-
nience is felt nor the general health impaired, there
is no reason to consider that anything is wrong.
PROFUSE MENSTRUATION.—Some women are in-
clined to menstruate too freely. To judge whether

SUPPRESSION OF THE MENSES.
47
this is actually the case, it is necessary to inquire
whether they suffer weakness, debility and pain from
the discharge, and whether there is any sign of clots.
Pure menstrual blood differs from venous blood in
that it never clots. When clots are discovered, some
thing is wrong. A simply profuse discharge is, how.
ever, not necessarily a bad sign. It is in the nature
of some women to menstruate more freely than others,
and to check this disposition would do serious harm.
When, however, there is no doubt that the menstru-
ation is too profuse, the girl must abstain as much
as possible from exercise at these periods, avoid all
stimulating food and drink, and if practicable lie in
a recumbent position a portion of each day while the
flow continues. If this course of conduct does not
produce the desired result, let a physician be consulted,
and on no account take medicine without his prescrip-
tion.
SCANTY MENSTRUATION.—There is in scanty as
in profuse menstruation no fixed standard. "The only
way is to judge by effects. If, in conjunction with
a scanty flow, there be pain, fullness, oppression,
headache and other disagreeable symptoms, it is well
to try the effects of a more active life before having
recourse to medicine. This trouble results most often
from sedentary employments. Medicine should only
be taken under the guidance of a doctor.
SUPPRESSION OF THE MENSES.—The menses are
liable to be suppressed by any sudden physical or
mental excitement. Exposure to cold will check

48
PUBERTY.
them. Some women cannot take a cold bath at such
times with impunity. Wetting the feet is sufficient
with others to entirely stop the menstrual flow.
When this happens, the girl should redouble her
efforts in the care of her general health, and should
indulge in open-air exercise more freely than usual.
As the time approaches for her next monthly period,
she had better put her feet in warm water for a short
time, drink some warm herb-tea, such as rue or tansy,
and go to bed. If these simple remedies fail, a doc-
tor's advice is necessary, and no drugs should be
taken unauthorized by him. Again I would say,
avoid patent medicines.
CHLOROSIS OR GREEN SICKNESS.—Chlorosis or
green sickness is a disease to which young women are
subject. It is called a female disease, though the
feminine organs are not especially involved. It is a
nervous disease, and the irregularities which consti-
tute an important part of its symptoms are the result
rather than the cause. All the organs of the body
are more or less involved, and their action interfered
with.
SYMPTOMS OF CHLOROSIS.—Its symptoms are lassi-
tude, low spirits, capricious appetite, irregularity and
perhaps scantiness in the monthly periods, and a pale
complexion with a greenish tinge, from which the
disease takes its name.
RESULTS OF CHLOROSIS.—Its results are impover-
ishment of the blood, nervous prostration, confirmed
invalidism, and possibly consumption.

HYSTERIA.
TREATMENT OF CHLOROSIS.—The attendance of a
physician is absolutely necessary, but, aside from
this, there is much that parents can do. The best
thing in this disorder is change of air and scene. Sea-
air and sea-bathing may prove highly beneficial.
Free exercise in the open air, nutritious diet, pleasant
surroundings, and occupation sufficient to keep both
mind and hands busy, yet sufficiently varied not to
tire, are all important adjuncts toward a cure.
THE AVOIDANCE OF CHLOROSIS.—However, as
prevention is better than cure, it is well to consider
how green sickness may be avoided. This disease is
almost always the result of too close confinement,
prolonged sedentary employment, innutritious diet,
improper dress, late hours, unnatural excitements and
general bad habits, so that a course of life the
reverse of all this is the proper one to pursue in order
to avoid the disease.
HYSTERIA.-Hysteria is also an affection of the
who has been favored with a judicious and conscien-
tious mother, who has been allowed to indulge in ne
stimulating food and beverages; who has never been
permitted the dissipation of late hours and exciting
romances; who is not over-worked or too closely con-
fined, and who has plenty of healthful and pleasant
occupation, will seldom, if ever, be subject to this
trouble. My cure for this is the same as for all other
cise, diet and occupation. To relieve its immediate

50
PUBERTY.
attacks a piece of assafoetida, the size of a small pea, is
excellent. Tincture of Valerian is also a useful and
more agreeable remedy. The dose is from half a tea-
spoonful to a teaspoonful, taken with more or less
frequency, as the necessities of the disease seem to
indicate. Huxham's Tincture of Bark, and Tincture
of Valerian, are excellent to tone up the system and
restore neryous and muscular strength. A teaspoon-
ful is a dose. If these mild remedies do not effect a
cure, the patient should receive the attention of a
competent physician, before the disease becomes a con-
firmed habit and serious results follow; as by its con-
tinuance the patient may become a life-long invalid
or imbecile.
SECRET BAD HABITS.—Not long since the public
was startled by a book which gave a frightful view
of vice in our country, and especially of the preva
lence of self-abuse among the young of both sexes.
I cannot believe that one-half this book states is true,
though the author may have been conscientious in his
statements. Being a physician, he was cognizant of a
:mrge number of sufferers from this cause, and he did
not stop to draw a comparison between these and the
till larger number whom he had no reason to sup-
pose subject to this sin. At least I hope, for the
reputation of humanity, that such was the case.
? CONSIDERATION OF THIS SUBJECT IMPORTANT TO
MOTHERS.—This is a delicate subject to approach,
and it is only the absolute obligation I feel under to
mall the attention of mothers to it that persuades me

VISITS AMONG CHILDREN.
51
to mention it at all. As a woman and a mother I
feel it my duty to sound a note of warning.
EARLY ACQUISITION OF SECRET BAD HABITS.
Secret bad habits are frequently contracted very early
in life, while the young child has but the dimmest
consciousness of right and wrong in such matters,
and at this period it is the mother who is at least
partially responsible. It is often the result of want
of cleanliness about the private parts. Uncleanness
produces itching and irritation, in relieving which
these habits are frequently acquired.
THEIR ACQUISITION THE RESULT OF IMPROPER
ASSOCIATIONS.—Again, the acquisition of these hab-
its is often the result of improper associations, espe-
cially during sleeping-hours. No mother should on
any account permit her child to sleep with any young
companion or servant. The rule seems a rigid one,
but it should be imperatively obeyed. A single night
may undo the results of years of watchfulness.
NECESSITY FOR DISCOUNTENANCING VISITS AMONG
CHILDREN WHICH EXTEND OVER THE NIGHT.-It
is frequently the custom for children to spend the
night at each others' dwellings for the mere pleasure
of companionship. This should never be permitted ;
and if any young person is forced by circumstances
to become a temporary inmate of the house, he or she
should be assigned a separate sleeping-apartment.
Such universal suspicion may seem cruel in the
extreme, but I know that children otherwise well-
behaved and possessing excellent traits of character

52
PUBERTY.
and disposition are yet subject to this failing. I do
not bestow any great share of blame upon them, for
they have but the faintest consciousness of the moral
sin of which they are guilty, and none whatever of
the physical evils which result from their wrong-
doing. If there is fault anywhere, it lies with those
through whose culpable carelessness they have had
opportunity to acquire evil habits. Nor should a
child be put to sleep with a servant, no matter how
much confidence one may have in her. Probably nine
chances out of ten in either case children would
escape contamination, but there is the tenth chance,
and it is the mother's duty to avoid all possibility of
evil results.
A MOTHER'S WATCHFULNESS OVER HER OWN
CHILDREN.—A mother cannot be too watchful over
her own children, even should she have no occasion
for suspicion. But this watchfulness must never
show itself; for, if guilty, the child will be cautious
to conceal its practices; and if not guilty, it will be
cruel to wound its sensibilities.
MODE OF TRAINING IN THIS RESPECT.—A mother
need seldom or never, except in undoubted cases of
secret vice, refer to the subject in the teaching and
training of her children. She should teach them
habits of cleanliness in regard to those parts, a negli-
gence of which is often alone sufficient to engender
this vice in children. She should teach them a proper
modesty, not only in regard to others, but of them-
selves toward their own bodies; and this teaching,

WHAT IT IS NECESSARY TO SAY.
53
properly impressed upon their minds, will be a strong
safeguard against this and many other evils.
WHAT COURSE SHALL A MOTHER TAKE WITH
HER DAUGHTER IN REGARD TO SUCH MATTERS ?-
What shall a mother say to a daughter whom she
suspects of being addicted to secret evil habits ?
Nothing, until she is certain beyond mistake; for it
would be the height of cruelty to wound the feelings
of an innocent girl by hinting at any doubt of her
guiltlessness in this respect. But when there is no
longer room for doubt, the mother must do more
than give general instruction and exert watchfulness,
though neither of these should be omitted.
NECESSITY OF PLAIN. SPEAKING.–The mother
must speak, and speak plainly. If the relations
between mother and daughter are as confidential as
they ought to be (and if they are not it may safely
be set down as the mother's fault), it will not be a
difficult task. But, difficult or not, it is no less a
duty. There must be no harsh words; all that is
said must be actuated by the spirit of kindness. Let
the daughter see that she is regarded with pity rather
than with anger.
WHAT IT IS NECESSARY TO SAY.—All the func-
tions of her sex, and the physical relations which the
two sexes bear toward each other, must be clearly
explained to her. No matter if she seems already to
have a knowledge of these things. If she hears them
repeated seriously and reverently by her mother, she
will, no doubt, learn much of importance of which
5*

54
PUBERTY
she has heretofore been ignorant, and the whole matter
will assume a sacredness in her eyes with which she
never before dreamed of investing it in the levity
with which she has discussed it with her young com-
panions. She must be particularly impressed with
the sacredness of these things, and of the sacredness
of her own body. She must be shown how a persist-
ence in secret vice will undermine her health, prostrate
her nervous system, weaken her mental powers and
degrade her morally. She must be told that, to a
certain degree, it will render her unfit to fulfill the
functions of her sex, to which fulfillment, in the
course of nature, she will probably be called. She
must be reminded what her own feelings will be,
should she ever become the wife of an honorable and
virtuous man, in remembering that there is one act or
series of acts in her life which she can never confess
to him except with burning shame. Her full con-
fidence must be invited and secured, and the mother
must offer to be her aid in the correction of her evil
habit. It should seem to be regarded more as a dis-
ease than as a crime. If all efforts fail in effecting a
cure, then, still in the spirit of kindness and pity, the
girl should be told that a physician will have to be
consulted to devise a means of cure. If she have
any shame left, this threat, offered not as a threat,
however, ought to be sufficient.
TREATMENT FOR SELF-ABUSE.-Frequent bath-
ings in both cold and warm water of the private parts
may give some slight aid toward overcoming the

BOARDING-SCHOOL LIFE..
55
habit of self-abuse. A tepid sitz bath at the moment
of temptation would no doubt do good. The diet
should be of the plainest kind, and all spices and
stimulants, of whatever nature, should be absolutely
forbidden. Sedentary employments should be aban-
doned as much as possible, and active labor substi-
tuted in their stead. The girl should be forbidden
all reading of an imaginative character. She should
be left alone as little as possible during the day, and
some responsible person should sleep with her at
night. If with all these cautions the habit seems
uncontrollable, medical advice should be sought. It
of the generative organs which requires medical or
surgical treatment. If so serious measures as these
do not seem necessary, an application of caustic might
be made to the affected parts, which would effectually
prevent their being touched.
against the curriculum and the mode of instruction
in most of our female seminaries and boarding-
schools, I should still firmly refuse to send a daughter
to one of them, for this reason, if no other, that I
believe-nay, I know—that the moral atmosphere of
such schools is always more or less vitiated. It is
not the fault of the instructors or of the faculty. It
is so in spite of them. In the close contact which
necessarily exists between the pupils, a very small
proportion of evil-disposed and morally-debased girls
is sufficient to corrupt the whole at the impressionable

56
PUBERTY.
age at which girls attend these schools. The dor-
mitory system-or, what is little better, the huddling
of several girls in a single sleeping-apartment—is suffi-
cient to destroy all personal modesty; and when this
is gone, the bulwark of the girl's innocence is broken
down. It is in these institutions that secret vice
flourishes to a degree scarcely to be believed. Occa-
sionally facts become public; parents are alarmed;
and the innocent and guilty are alike reproached and
covered with shame. Miss Catherine E. Beecher,
herself for many years a teacher in such an institu-
tion, was among the first to speak earnest words of
warning on this subject; but though she discovered
the evil, she did not comprehend the cause. It is the
false system which is to blame.
ADVANTAGES OF CO-EDUCATION OF THE SEXES. —
There is no doubt that the two sexes exert a restrain-
ing and an elevating influence upon each other, and
where they are mingled in educational institutions on
the same terms of freedom and equality as in the
home, there the standard of morality will be found
to be the highest. This I would dare to say on my
own authority and as a result of my own observation,
but happily for those who might not be inclined to
accept me as a competent judge, this fact is borne out
by the experience, in some cases of many years, of
numerous educational institutions of different grades.
Any approach to a monastic or conventual life is,
except in peculiar cases, unfortunate if not positively
evil in its influences. It is exactly the opposite of

MEANS OF CURE OF EVIL HABITS.
57
the family. If God had intended such a life to be
led by his creatures, he would have made whole
families, whole communities even, of one sex alone.
We all know the moral status of even our most noted
colleges, and we ought also to know that, in a different
way, of course, but still equally bad, is that of a
female boarding-school.
MEANS OF CURE OF EVIL HABITS.—There is one
course that may of itself be sufficient to effect a cure
for secret vice in a girl approaching womanhood. It
may seem a strange one to many, but I speak with
perfect confidence in the truth of what I say when I
give the advice. There will no harm result, even if
its effects are not as beneficial as expected. Let the
young girl who is upon the threshold of womanhood,
with the instincts of her sex already beginning to
develop themselves, be thrown into the frequent (if
constant so much the better) companionship of young
persons of the other sex of good character, so far as
character may be said to be established so early in
life. Each will have a beneficial effect upon the
other. The girl will, from her respect for the other
sex, conceive a higher idea of womanhood and a
greater respect for herself. The restraints which the
presence of her male companions impose will remain
in effect in their absence, and habits which she has
heretofore considered as mere venial offences will
suddenly assume a more serious magnitude. Self-
consciousness of guilt will be always present, and the
chances are two to one that the vice will be dropped.

CHAPTER IV.
LOVE IN ITS PHYSICAL AND MORAL PHASES.
RESULTS OF UNRESTRAINED INTERCOURSE BE-
TWEEN THE SEXES.—The concluding paragraph of
my last chapter leads directly to the subject of the
opening paragraph of this—the results of unrestrained
intercourse between the sexes as each is approaching
or has reached nubility. We have already taken a
long step in advance of most European nations, inas-
much as we allow a far greater freedom of intercourse
between the sexes; and the more thoughtful and more
liberal in this country are gradually becoming con-
vinced that every remaining bar of restraint which is
taken down tends more certainly to purity of thought
and act. Perhaps the reason of this is based upon
the well-known fact that if you impress any one with
the thought that you place unlimited confidence in
him, he is far more likely to prove himself worthy
of this confidence, than though he should feel that
he is regarded with suspicion and watchfulness.
TEACH PURITY AND MORALITY.—My most
earnest word of advice to mothers is, let your earliest
inculcations and the whole tenor of your instructions
68

BOY-BEAUX,
59
to, and your example before, your sons and daughters
be in favor of a life of purity in thought, word and
deed; and then, after that, trust them. If they fail
you then, be sure they would all the more surely have
failed you if you had let them see that you regarded
MALE ASSOCIATES.—A girl should not merely be
permitted, but be encouraged, to have companions of
the other sex; and the only check which the parents
should exercise in this regard is to see that these
companions are proper ones, with characters unblem-
ished.
BoY-BEAUX.—This is what Fanny Fern says on
the subject of boy-beaux. I came across the passage
in her new book after having finished the writing of
this chapter, and it so entirely coincided with my own
views that I marked it for insertion here: “Do I
approve of boy-beaux, madam? Why not? Don't
every rosebud draw its humming-bird? Did not
God make them both for this harmless, innocent
delight? You had your boy-beaux, madam: I had
mine by the score. Only teach your daughter to love
you well enough to conceal nothing, however minute,
from you; only show her that you have a heart and
don't want to pluck out hers, and, my word for it, no
harm will come of her boy-beaux.' It is your repres-
sion that does the mischief-your ignoring your own
youth and hers. The child who has leave to pluck
the apple often leaves it untasted, undesired, upon the
tree.”

60 LOVE IN ITS PHYSICAL AND MORAL PHASES.
RECOLLECTIONS.—Some of the most pleasant recol-
lections of my own life concern my boyish friends: I
never once dreamed of calling them beaux. There
was little thought of sex between us. We were not
lovers, we were simply friends—comrades is the
better word. If I was in love with any of them, I
must have been with them all, for they all stood
nearly equal in my regards, which were certainly
strong and sincere. To this day I always recall the
livi: o among them with feelings of deeper interest
than I do my acquaintances of later years, mingled
wit) a half regret that circumstances and propriety
each forbid a resumption of our old familiar terms of
intercourse; while the memory of the dead is peculiarly
sacred to me. There was one, a young and ambitious
law student and embryo politician, who used to hasten,
as soon as office hours were over, to read to me column
after column of the Daily Congressional Globe; and
I, an ardent young politician of sixteen, listened with
intensest interest to the longest speeches, and knew
every prominent man of every party by name and
political history. I had full faith in the future of
my friend, and was satisfied in my own mind that
nothing less dignified than a seat in Congress awaited
him. Ah, well! As he grew older his enthusiasm
cooled, his ambition, I dare say, died out, and he is
to-day the editor of a tolerably prosperous country
newspaper, where perhaps, after all, he exerts as great
an influence as he might have done in Congress.
Another, a poet, of whom I still believe the world

INFLUENCE OF GIRLHOOD.
61
would have heard if Providence had not ordered
otherwise, used to lend me books of poetry and read
me Emerson. When he died my heart was nearly
broken, though if he had lived I should never have
felt the least desire to become his wife. I might go
on and specify all, to the number of half a dozen at
least, if I thought the recountal would interest the
reader. I had friends, too, of my own sex, who were
just as dear to me, but I am not now speaking of
girl friendships.
PURITY OF GIRL AND BOY FRIENDSHIPS.—In all
our intercourse, which was of the most unrestricted
character, I cannot recall a word or act of “love-
making," or of anything tending toward impropriety.
Kisses certainly never passed between us. They were
unthought of on my side; and if not equally un-
thought of on theirs, these youths must have exerted
rare powers of self-restraint. I know that associa-
tion with them helped to develop that which is best
intellectually, morally and emotionally in me; and I
hope that my influence over them was, if not equally
marked, at least beneficial. The wine of life coursed
in our veins sufficiently for exhilaration, but not with
sufficient rapidity to cause the slightest intoxication
of the senses.
INFLUENCE OF GIRLHOOD.—There is a power in
healthy, well-developed girlhood sufficient almost
for the regeneration of the world. This seems a
strong expression; but when we reflect that it is at
the plastic period of youth that characters are formed

62 LOVE IN ITS PHYSICAL AND MORAL PHASES.
and habits settled for life, and that womanly influence
over the other sex at this age is almost unlimited, the
expression is not so exaggerated, after all. But this
regeneration will never take place until young women
themselves become fully conscious of their power and
feel its responsibility.
CHILD-LOVE.—I think one of the most beautiful
things Mrs. Stowe has ever written is to be found in
the opening chapters of “My Wife and I,” in which
Harry Henderson describes his child-love. It is not
every one probably who has had a like experience,
but those who have look back upon it as among
their pleasantest memories. There are those who in
their wisdom frown upon such manifestations of
youthful precocity, as they consider it, and believe it
to be their duty to check a growing intimacy between
two children of opposite sexes by the means of ridi-
cule and, if need be, of command. But there is
nothing more unwise, nothing more unjust. Its out-
growth is in the innocence of paradise; the ridicule
that checks it compels the poor children to eat of the
tree of knowledge, opens their eyes to good and evil,
and henceforth they are ashamed.
A. BOYISH LOVE THE BEST SAFEGUARD TO YOUTH
-I believe there can be no surer safeguard for a boy
through the perilous years of youth than the love
given to and received from a little innocent girl, or
even a succession of girls. It will keep him from all
manner of evil, and will incite him to his best
endeavors in all that is noble and commendable.

LOVE WITHOUT PASSION.
63
POWER OF LOVE.-The strongest motive-power in
the world is the attraction between the sexes. It
even exceeds the desire for gain, because in most cases
this latter desire is born of a still stronger one to win
or retain love or to gratify passion.
LOVE AND PASSION.—I have put the words love
and passion in the same sentence, as though I con-
sidered their meaning nearly identical. I am very
far from doing this, but there is a sliding scale
between them where one becomes blended in the
other, so that, differing as widely as they do, it is
sometimes difficult to draw the dividing-line. Pas-
sion is the base earthly body devoid of soul. Love
is that body vivified and glorified by a beautiful
angelic spirit.
LOVE WITHOUT PASSION.-I believe there can be
a strong, abiding love, deeper and more powerful
than friendship, in which little or no passion enters.
This is no doubt rare between the two sexes, and
when felt at all is usually felt by women, and resem-
bles, though it differs from, maternal affection. The
love of many good women is something akin to this,
and of this fact Miss Mulock seems cognizant when
in "A Life for a Life,” she makes her heroine say,
“I have thought that in all women's deepest loves,
be they ever so full of reverence, there enters some-
times much of the motherly element, even as on this
day I felt as if I were somehow or other in charge of
Max, and a great deal older than he.” An instinctive
knowledge of the possibility of such a love must have

64 LOVE IN ITS PHYSICAL AND MORAL PHASES.
possessed us, and was rather grotesquely expressed,
when I and my girlish associates used to denominate,
in conversation among ourselves, our young masculine
friends as our “grandchildren.” I believe some of
“grandmothers.”
PASSION WITHOUT LOVE.—There is something
which passes for love, but which is simply passion
without affection—a brute passion which seeks only
selfish physical gratification. It seems unjust to call
this passion, even. It is simply lust. The victims
of this lust are wretched, broken-hearted wives com-
pelled to bear large families of children, and subject
to all sorts of unkindnesses and brutal treatment-
wives whose condition is worse than slavery.
TRUE LOVE.—Love in its truest, purest, highest
form is that of strong, unselfish affection blended with
desire—an honorable desire implanted by nature in
the breasts of men and women, and which is only to
be condemned when it is perverted and seeks gratifi-
cation in forbidden ways. Such a love, culminating
in marriage, is approved by God and man. And such
a love, looking forward to marriage as affording free-
dom to the affections and gratification to the instincts,
is also commendable, and its possession to be desired
by all men and women.
USES OF LOVE.—Its primary use is, through the
instincts which accompany it, the perpetuation of the
human race. But its uses are higher than that. By

FIRST LOVE
65
vidual, and brings out all that is best within him or
her. I read lately, though I cannot now recall where,
that love instead of being blind is clear-sighted. It
opens the eyes of the lover and makes him see in the
object of his affections those beautiful traits of mind
and soul which ordinary mortals do not discern, but
which God sees in all of us. Love is the beautifier,
the glorifier, the redeemer. When it is pure and true,
it unites two souls in bonds of happiness which never
chafe, and which become stronger as time passes and
the passions become chastened and subdued.
FIRST LOVE.-In speaking of first love I do not,
after all, refer to those childish affections which I
have described, but to those attractions of members
of the opposite sexes who have reached an age to
experience the emotions and instincts to which com-
bined we give the name of love. After the period of
puberty is reached we see the evidence of the growing
capability for such a love in the upheaval of the
emotional nature of the young girl. She is no longer
calm in manner, even in disposition and matter-of-
fact in her modes of thinking. Whether she has
ever been allowed to read novels or not, life suddenly
becomes a romance and herself the heroine. She is
liable to sudden mental disturbances; she surprises
and, perhaps, amuses us with ridiculous bursts of
enthusiasm or sentimentalism. The girl somehow
has lost herself. She feels herself in depths that she
cannot fathom, and she seeks vainly on every side for
aid that shall bring her safely to shore, or for a
6 *

66. LOVE IN ITS PHYSICAL AND MORAL PHASES.
beacon-light that shall at least show her where she is.
But she can never go back to the innocence and
placidity of childhood. She is in a new world, and
there is only one safe place for her in it—it is the
same with man-harbored safely in the affectionate
care of one of the other sex. She does not know
this; still instinct is telling her so all the same, and
she sometimes dreams dreams. And if some day she
fancies she has found that harbor, do not judge her
harshly. Even smile kindly upon her as you recall
the days of your own youth. This is part of the
lesson of life.
PURITY OF FIRST LOVE.—It is the most unjust
and cruel of all judgments to consider that the young
girl and boy who fancy themselves in love are drawn
thereto by a superabundance of animal passion. I
believe, if there is anything pure in this world, it is
the first boyish and girlish affection which is com-
monly denominated "puppy love.” It differs from
the placid likings of childhood, inasmuch as there is
an instinctive consciousness of sex, but it is in all
respects reverential and pure. It is the very exalta-
tion of sentiment. Goethe, who might be styled
master of arts in all affairs relating to love, for ho
was subject to its influence from early youth, thus
speaks of these youthful passions, in referring to
Gretchen, the lovely inn-maiden who won his affec-
tions: “The first love motions of ai uncorrupted
youth take an entirely spiritual direction. Nature
seems to wish that one sex shall become through the

RECIPROCITY OF FIRST LOVES.
67
other sensuously aware of the good and the beautiful.
And so to me through the beholding of this girl, and
my love for her, was opened a new world of the
beautiful and the excellent.”
TRANSIENTNESS OF FIRST LOVE.—It is not always
best-indeed, it is seldom best—that these early loves
should be perpetuated until the proper age for mar-
riage is reached. For the objects of these boyish and
girlish caprices are not always all that they should
be, regarded as husband or wife. Besides, time may
develop traits of character and disposition which shall
make them still less desirable. But be content to let
the future take care of itself. These affections are
not generally lasting. Time and absence work won-
ders. If, however, there are no reasonable objections
to the future union of the two youthful lovers, I can-
not see why their love should not be encouraged until
at last it is consummated in marriage. It must be
pleasant for such a married couple to look back upon
the past, and be able to date their affection from the
days of early youth.
RECIPROCITY OF FIRST LOVES.—These first loves
are not always reciprocal. They do not need to be
so in order to be beneficial. I know a love which I
felt in my early girlhood was not so. I worshiped
reverentially, at a distance, and was frightened lest
any one, most of all the object of my adoration, should
even guess of it. I looked forward to no future. I
was simply content with the presence of the one who
inspired me; more than content if he gave me a

8 LOVE IN ITS PHYSICAL AND MORAL PHASES.
passing word. He went out of my sight, and my
feelings, of course, weakened and died out, though
not the remembrance of those feelings which I cherish
even yet. And that young man who, when my eyes
were opened, I beheld as a commonplace individual
possessing ordinary intelligence and good looks, will
always have a kindly place in my memory.
A REMINISCENCE.—On the other hand a young
lad of seventeen or thereabouts, fresh from the country,
once took it into his head to fall in love with me
when I was a girl of fifteen or sixteen. No one could
be more respectful or deferential. “He never told
his love,” but he looked it and acted it. He haunted
me like a shadow at all available times and places.
Of course I was not blind; and feeling no reciprocal
affection, his conduct was simply disagreeable. If I
had possessed even the slightest tendency toward
coquetry, I never could have had the heart to prac-
tice it on one so simple-minded and so much in
earnest as he. I knew that in a short time he was to
go away, and I would probably never see him again;
so I concluded, as long as no overt word or act of his
brought matters to a crisis, I would let things take
their course unmolested. The last evening came; he
was prompt as usual at his post, and when I set out
for home, he wended his silent way, as was often his
custom, beside me through the streets until we reached
the corner where our paths diverged. He had never
ventured to go farther than this with me, and even
now he turned with his customary “Good-evening.'

FIRST LOVE AND SUBSEQUENT AFFECTIONS. 64
A sudden pang of compassion seized me. I fully
comprehended, though I did not reciprocate, his feet-
ings. On the impulse of the moment I paused and
said to him, “You are not going without bidding me
good-bye, are you ?" by which I meant a hand-shake
ing and a formal leave-taking. But he, interpreting
my words in the manner his wishes had been probably
leading him, turned with a grateful, “I did not think
you would let me," and kissed my cheek. How that
kiss burned! I said nothing, for I felt that my
unconsidered words had provoked it. I waited until
the corner separated us, and then I rubbed the spot
again and again. But it seemed as though I could
not take the impression away. If I was disgusted
with him before, I hated him now, though never was
a kiss more reverential in its love pressed upon a
maiden's cheek. When, a few months afterward, I
heard that he had died with consumption, I was
heartless enough in my thoughtless youth to be glad.
Years after, when I had learned to reflect, as I
thought of the matter, I did not regret that kiss. It
did me no real harm, and it may have been a precious
memory to the poor lad as he lay upon his deathbed;
for, ephemeral as these youthful passions usually are,
this one probably lasted him to the end of his brief
life.
FIRST LOVE DOES NOT INTERFERE WITH SUBSE-
QUENT MORE LASTING AFFECTIONS.—There is noth-
ing incompatible between this first love and maturer,
more lasting affections. Either husband or wife may

70 LOVE IN ITS PHYSICAL AND MORAL PHASES.
confess to such a youthful passion with calm, clear,
steadfast eyes, feeling that the other has been robbed of
nothing which was his or her due, and that the one who
makes such confession will be cherished none the less.
WHY SENTIMENT IS INTRODUCED.—Certain matter-
of-fact people may wonder, perhaps, why I have de-
voted so much space to the discussion of a sentiment
which is regarded by, so many as absurd. My apology
is this: When passing into womanhood, more than at
any other period, a girl's physical, moral and emo-
tional natures are so intimately connected—one bears
so forcibly upon another—that it is impossible to treat
of one without considering all. And any one who
would bring up a girl to healthy, well-developed
womanhood must be content to let her pass through
all the maladies of youth, just as in childhood
measles and other childish disorders must run their
course if once they are contracted.
DANGER OF SUPPRESSION.—Any suppression of
these moral disorders of youth, if so you choose to
consider them, will be as surely attended with evil
results as is the suppression of the physical disorders
of an earlier period. They must run their course;
and if confidence is freely given and freely returned
between parent and child, they are more likely to
prove beneficial than otherwise to both the physical
and moral systems. Many a young girl's life has
been wrecked by the contrary course. If of a deli-
cate, sensitive organization, she has pined away and
been laid in an early grave; or, if of a ruder, coarser,

THE EXPERIENCE SAFE AND BENEFICIAL. 71
more sensual nature, she has rebelled and been
morally lost, by parents regarding these affections in
too serious a light, and bringing strict authority to
bear in an attempt to check them.
THE EXPERIENCE SAFE AND BENEFICIAL.-Do
not be alarmed, over-anxious mother. There are
fewer pitfalls in the path which nature has laid out
than in any of the side paths into which you would
force your daughter. She will make none the less
noble woman, none the less true wife, for an indul-
gence in these little “ foolishnesses," as you choose to
term them; and she will be all the better mother for
having experience to date from in dealing with
daughters of her own. If a daughter passes from
youth to womanhood without experiencing these emo-
tions, you may have cause for self-congratulation that
you have been saved anxiety; but if she does not,
there is no cause for regret: a wise and sympathizing
mother is able to steer her successfully over all shoals.
The young, though just come into the inheritance of
desire and passion, can be more safely trusted (if fully
trusted) than many to whom the inheritance bas
become a common and a less valued thing.

CHAPTER V.
WHEN AND WHOM SHALL WOMEN MARRY.
NUBILITY.—Nubility is that condition in the life
ing become perfected, their characters formed and
their minds somewhat matured, they may with pro-
priety contemplate marriage.
PROPER AGE FOR MARRIAGE.This condition, it
seems to me, is reached at an age varying, in indi-
viduals and accurding to temperament, from twenty-
three to twenty-eight in men, and from twenty to
twenty-five in pomen. Neither man nor woman
ought, save in my reptional cases, to think of marrying
earlier.
Here, however, I may confess to privately holding
somewhat irreconcilable theories regarding the proper
time of marriage for the two sexes. I would have
men marry early, women late. But--and here it is
that I do not ind my theories to work well together-
I would not have a man marry a woman older than
himself.
Women, I hold, do not, before their twenty-fifth
year, reach their full physical completeness and
capacity for endurance. Not till then may they be

PROPER AGE FOR MARRIAGE.
73
truly called women. Then, if they are ever to do so,
they will have attained that mental poise befitting the
matron, and that moral consciousness which enables
them to take a proper view of their responsibilities.
Men, as I have said, I would have marry early-
say at twenty-three. And why? Simply because
men, while they insist upon unsuspicioned chastity in
the very spring of their manhood, bring to their
innocent brides the sweet offering of a virtuous past.
I would have no pure woman wedded to a man who
was not wholly and perfectly manly—that is, virtuous.
I claim it to be her right and her duty to exact, from
one who is to be her husband, that purity which he
most assuredly will, and, if he himself be pure, may
very properly, exact from her.
relates directly to the proper time for their marriage-
the learned and philosophic Hufeland, one of the
most eminent German physicians of the last gener-
ation, says with much force: “At present we hear a
great deal about strength and strong men; but I will
believe nothing of it as long as I see that they have
not strength enough to subdue their passions; for that
is the only cause of triumph as well as the only sign
of mental strength: and chastity is the school in
which youth ought to be exercised to form themselves
for becoming strong men.”
Were men sufficiently strong to pass through this
school with all the honors, then I would not have

74
WHEN AND WHOM SHALL WOMEN MARRY.
them marry early, and it would be easy for me to
reconcile my theories. A fully-developed man of
twenty-eight might marry an equally fully-developed
woman of twenty-five. Neither would marry at an
age one could call too early, while the union thus
formed would almost certainly prove a permanent
and happy one.
EVIL EFFECTS UPON WOMEN OF Too EARLY
MARRIAGE.—A wife too young soon loses health and
strength and sinks into a premature grave, or drags
out a miserable existence, the worn, weary and dis-
heartened mother of too large a family. Or, on the
other hand, her too early marriage may result in
sterility.
EVIL EFFECTS UPON MEN.—Nor are the results
of too early marriage less disastrous for men. They
are prematurely burdened with constantly-increasing
family cares. They are liable to lose heart and hope.
Health, nay, even life itself, is endangered; consump-
tion being in far too many instances brought on by
premature participation in the sensual pleasures of
wedlock.
RELATIVE AGES OF HUSBAND AND WIFE.-In
ordinary cases a man should not be less than three
nor more than seven years older than his wife. Cir-
cumstances may sometimes justify a slight deviation
from this rule. To ensure in marriage the best
chances of happiness, there should be that similarity
of tastes and interests which, as a general thing, can
oply result from equality in age.

SUPERIORITY OF AGE IN THE HUSBAND.
75
A WOMAN OLDER THAN MAN AT THE SAME AGE.
--A woman, it must be remembered here, is three
years older than a man of the same actual age as her-
self. From the cradle to the grave a woman lives in
six years what a man lives in seven. Thus, a girl of
six and a boy of seven are equally advanced physi-
cally and mentally, and should be set down as of
equal years. A girl reaches her full physical develop-
ment at least two years sooner than a boy. In fact, a
girl of fifteen is generally more nearly a woman than
a boy of seventeen is a man. The woman of twenty-
five is the physical and mental equal of a man of
twenty-eight; and a man of seventy, if he has not
been prodigal of his health, usually retains as much
will be seen, in order that they may be equally
matched in physical and mental attainments, a wo-
man's actual age should number a few years the less.
DISADVANTAGES OF SUPERIOR AGE IN THE WIFE.
--If the wife's age is the greatest at the outset, she
disadvantage is constantly increased, not only in the
ordinary course of nature, which decrees that women
shall live faster than men, but by family cares which
usually add materially to a woman's age, whether
they ought to or not; until some day she is aroused to
the fact that she is an old woman, while her husband
is still comparatively a young man..
DISADVANTAGES OF Too GREAT SUPERIORITY OF
AGE IN THE HUSBAND.-The marriage of a young

76
WHEN AND WHOM SHALL WOMEN MARRY.
girl with a man of middle age seems to me most inade
visable. There are moral objections to such a match,
inasmuch as the girl brings all her purity and youth
to the arms of one who, if he be not an exceptional
individual, is already jaded and worn with dissipation,
She barters the pure gold of her affections and her
chastity for dross. There is still another reason for
sbjecting to such a marriage. I have seen such
anions and noted the result. A middle-aged man
can never remember that his wife is still in her youth,
and entitled to all the pleasures and considerations
which properly belong to that period of life. He
feels, rather than reasons, that a suitable wife for him
should evince the dignity and demureness of de-
m'anor and dress which come naturally to a middle-
aged woman. So he suppresses the youthful impulses
and desires. And we shortly have the spectacle of a
young woman feeling and acting as though she had
already reached middle life. Then afterward, as
years roll on, and she becomes truly the middle-aged
matron, she has become, also, in everything but actual
physical appearance, an old woman. She may not
herself be conscious of the fact; but she has been
cheated out of just as many years as there is difference
between her own and her husband's age—the hest
years of her life, too.
MARKIAGE OF THE OLD WITH THE YOUNG.--It
seems as though it ought to be unnecessary to mention
the abhorrence with which all right-minded people
should regard the marriage of the young of either

PECUNIARY CONSIDERATIONS.
77
sex with the old of the other. There is something
utterly repugnant to good morality and good taste in
such an union. It can certainly never be brought
about through motives of mutual affection. And the
young girl who would enter into the bonds of már-
than the prostitute. The latter debases herself alone;
the former not only debases herself, but degrades the
ordinance of marriage. In marriages of convenience
between those of similar ages, there is still the possi-
bility that assimilation of tastes and feelings may take
that, after all, they shall become married in heart as
well as in outward bond. But in the case of the
marriage of the young with the old there is no possi-
bility of this final result, for there can never be any
harmony of tastes, any unison of ideas, any oneness
of purpose, all which go to constitute marriage, be-
tween them.
OUGHT PECUNIARY CONSIDERATIONS TO HAVE
ANY WEIGHT IN DETERMINING A CHOICE IN MAR-
RIAGE?—The question here arises, How far is a young
woman justified in considering the pecuniary circum-
stances of her future husband ? I am not one of
those who believe that in love affairs pecuniary
matters ought to be entirely ignored. I never could
understand why it is regarded as commendable in a
man to desire money, and seek to obtain it in all
honorable ways, and seemingly to shape all the ends
and aims of life to that purpose, while, on the other
7 *

78. WHEN AND WHOM SHALL WOMEN MARRY.
hand, it is considered so reprehensible for a woman
in the most important event of her life the one
event which decides all her after comfort and happi-
ness—to give one thought to the pecuniary view of
the matter. The needs of the two sexes which money
can supply are so nearly identical, that I cannot see
why money is not just as important and as necessary
to one as to the other. I know the want of it is
quite as severely felt by a woman as by a man. In
certain crises of her life its absence entails more suffer-
ing upon her than a man can possibly feel.
A PRUDENT AND INDUSTRIOUS MAN.-A young
man when he arrives at a marriageable age, if he has
been industrious and prudent, ought not to be penni-
less. He ought, without being guilty of parsimony,
to have accumulated sufficient savings to give him a
fair start in life; and if he has not done so, it is prob-
ably because he has been idle, extravagant or dissi-
pated, in which case he does not present the qualifica-
tions necessary in a good husband.
THE “GENEROUS FELLOW.”—The generous fellow
who spends with a lavish hand wherever he goes, and
who is always ready either to lend or borrow, makes
a fine figure in society, and is usually exceedingly
popular with people of both sexes and all ages. But
I know of no one worse calculated to fulfill the duties
and obligations of a husband. His wife and family
will find to their sorrow that it is they who must
suffer for his generosity, and that, while he is lavish
abroad, they must be pinched at home.

OBJECTION TO A PROFLIGATE.
GOOD HABITS MORE DESIRABLE THAN WEALTH,
-I certainly do not regard riches as undesirable in
making a matrimonial connection, but I consider
of far more importance those habits which lead to a
reasonable and honorable accumulation of property,
Riches may take wings and fly away, hut habits once
thoroughly established never forsake one.
'THE "REFORMED RAKE.”—We are often told that
“a reformed rake makes the best husband, and many
really believe this. But if there were no other objec-
tion to this theory, there is the important one that it
is difficult to tell when a rake is really reformed.
What passes for reformation may be only a temporary
satiety or physical exhaustion. A man given to dis-
sipation at one period of his life is rarely perfectly
free from the liability to relapses. Indeed, I would
sooner look for an abandoned woman, the same
chances being given her that are extended to a man
under like circumstances, to arrive at a thorough and
permanent reformation and make a faithful and de-
sirable wife, than I would for a male profligate to
become a reformed man and a good husband. She
who, confiding in the truth of the adage I have quoted
above, gives her hand to such a man, may live to shed
bitter tears over her folly.
PHYSICAL OBJECTION TO MARRIAGE WITH A
PROFLIGATE.—Then there is a physical reason why
the mating of the pure with the impure should never
take place. A young man who has led a wild, dissi-
pated life may have contracted the worst and most

80 WHEN AND WHOM SHALL WOMEN MARRY.
loathsome of diseases. This disease may be in abey-
ance at the time of his marriage, but it is liable at
any time to show itself, and his wife is almost certain
of contracting it by contagion. If she escape, it is
iable to assume an active form in his children, and
scrofula, consumption and other dreadful diseases
sicians that it is not infrequent that women apply to
them for remedies for complaints in themselves and
their children the character of which the women
themselves have no suspicion of, but which are at
once recognized as belonging to a class at once terrible
and ineradicable. Yet this fearful punishment they
must bear for the double sin of placing a light esti-
upon their own chastity. This is a grievous sin
indeed; but society, by constantly preaching that “a
man may do with impunity what a woman cannot,"
does not teach young girls that it is a sin. . A man
cannot do wrong with impunity, nor can a woman
forgive him with impunity, as we may daily see. The
sin is certain to react upon him in some manner, and
her forgiveness—a forgiveness which places a trifling
estimate upon the offence—will be repented of long
and bitterly.
MORAL OBJECTION TO MARRIAGE WITH A PRO-
FLIGATE.—There is a moral objection to such unions.
A young girl under the influence of love may think
she can overlook or forgive the antenuptial sins of
her husband, so that he be true to her in future. (I

COMMON OBJECTION.
81
heard a prospective wife say this very thing once;
and when, after she had been married some years, I
heard she had to share her husband's affections and
his means with his mistress, I had not one particle
of pity or sympathy for her.) But if the elements
of a pure and noble womanhood exist in her character,
a time will surely come when she will bitterly regret
that she cannot look back upon her husband's past as
irreproachable; that she cannot reverence him as
being and having been in all things her ideal of per-
fect manhood; that she cannot hold him up to her
children as a model for imitation. To her children
even more than to herself does a woman owe that her
husband and their father should be pure and without
physical or moral blemish.
CHASTITY TO BE EQUALLY DESIRED IN BOTH
SEXES.—A man demands absolute chastity in a wife,
and a woman should be no less strict in her demands.
If she is not, it is a sure sign that there is a flaw
somewhere in her own moral character, and that it is
not virtue she prizes for virtue’s self, but rather for
the estimate the world puts upon it. If she barters
her own purity for impurity, she places no value upon
that purity, and commits a crime against herself and
against morality in general.
COMMON OBJECTION TO SUCH SCRUPULOUSNESS IN
WOMEN.—“But if women were thus particular, they
would very few of them get married.” Possibly
some of the present generation would have to go
husbandless; but we have the testimony of myriads

82 WHEN AND WHOM SHALL WOMEN MARRY.
WHEN AND WHOM SHALL WOMEN MARRY.
of unhappy wives that a bad husband is far worse
than none. But marriage is a necessity as much with
men as with women, and they only take their present
license because it is allowed them. The mass of
young men would soon raise themselves to the
required standard of excellence if they were certain
that only by so doing could they find wives among
good and worthy girls. Besides, it were better to
remain unmarried than that good should mate with
evil. The white can never make the black clean,
while the black, brought into close contact with the
white, is almost sure to contaminate it. A good
woman married to a bad man will have a hard
struggle with herself if she does not deteriorate, and
sink somewhat nearer her husband's level.
PERFECT HAPPINESS IN MARRIAGE.—I can imag-
ine no greater happiness—the very crown of marriage
--than when chastity is united with chastity in its
bonds. I do not speak of its physical aspects, though,
where there is no semi-satiety with sensual pleasures
to mate with virginity, certainly much might be said.
But what can so perfect and consummate marriage
and strengthen its bonds, as the certain assurance that
each belongs wholly to the other, and that there is no
one in the world who has a prior claim ?
A WIFE TO BE ENVIED.-A woman who possesses
this assurance would not barter it for any other advan-
tage in the world. She looks down from supreme
heights of happiness in pity, and perhaps even con-
tempt, upon those wives who are not thus fortunate.

INTUITIONS.
83
A husband's ante-nuptial purity is as dear to the wife
as is the wife's to the husband, only those who have
not found it do not realize what they have lost.
A WIFE TO BE CONTEMNED.—But if the wife who
is secure in the integrity of her husband's moral
character is so much to be envied, and the woman
who has for her husband a “reformed rake” to be
pitied, with what feelings shall we regard the wife
who, after marriage, seems to consider her husband's
ante-nuptial amours something of which to boast?
to his wife, in any other spirit than that of the hum-
blest contrition, must be a man who holds womanhood
and wifehood in slight honor. And the wife who
could hear a boastful confession with patience, and
ing to her husband's honor and credit, must be lost
to all sense of decency.
HOW IS A YOUNG WOMAN TO DECIDE BETWEEN
THE PROFLIGATE AND THE VIRTUOUS OF THE OTHER
Sex ?-If a young man is notoriously “fast," a girl
cannot well shut her eyes to the fact. Even the
characters of those who are only moderately given to
dissipation she can easily learn from her father or
brothers, or from her married lady friends.
INTUITIONS.--But there is a safer guide even than
depending upon others for information. A girl will
find this guide in her own instincts. If she possesses
delicacy and purity of feeling, she will intuitively
know a young man's exact moral status as soon as

84 WHEN AND WHOM SHALL WOMEN MARRY.
she forms his acquaintance. She may not be able to
tell how she knows this, but the knowledge is hers,
nevertheless, and it is well if she makes a proper use
of it.
RULE FOR DECIDING A MAN'S MORAL CHA-
RACTER.—There is a rule which I have for years
found almost certain in its workings. When I see a
young man (or an old one, either) particularly scrupu-
lous in regard to the deportment of women; seeing
evil in people and things when no evil was intended;
objecting to innocent phrases because an evil imagina-
tion might discover a bad meaning in them; over-
scrupulous in his own demeanor (in public) toward
the women of his own station with whom he asso-
other sex, whatever the purity of their lives, whom
he considers beneath him; in fact, dyed to the very
heart's core with the spirit of prurient prudery
(thanks to Charles Reade for this telling phrase !); I
know just exactly where to place him. Generally a
single one of these evidences is enough to establish
his character in my mind. He either is or has been
a profligate. It is the vicious who so readily descry
the appearance of evil where the innocent are blind.
I have known such men, and I always like to keep
them at a distance. A husband of this character will
prescribe the broadest latitude for himself, while the
most innocent acts of his wife will be continually
regarded with jealousy and suspicion.
THE REFORMED DRUNKARD.-Few girls, it is to

THE MODERATE DRINKER.
85
be hoped, are so lost to all sense of moral obligations
as knowingly to enter into marriage with a confirmed
drunkard. There are many, doubtless, who marry
drinking men hoping to effect their reformation; but
such reformation is rarely effected; and when it is
accomplished, it is usually at the price of years of
suffering such as no man has a right to impose upon
a woman, or a woman upon herself. There may be
something heroic in a young woman deliberately
sacrificing herself for the redemption of her husband,
but it is far from being commendable. First, her
efforts will probably be all in vain, and she will have
made a deliberate sacrifice of her life for no purpose
whatever. And then there are her children. No
woman has a right to give to her children a drunkard
for a father. There is the twofold evil of their suffer-
ing by inheritance of his propensities and resulting
infirmities, and the unhappiness and mortification
which must always be theirs with such a father.
REFORMATION NECESSARY BEFORE MARRIAGE.-
The man who has not the necessary will and strength
of purpose to reform his dissipated habits before he
asks a good woman to be his wife is not likely to
reform afterward, nor is he worthy of such a wife.
A woman accepting such a man, under the most
favorable circumstances, even, will pay a sufficient
penalty for her daring, in the dreadful apprehension
which will always haunt her lest he return to his evil
courses.
THE MODERATE DRINKER. I think, however, I

86
WHEN AND WHOM SHALL WOMEN MARRY.
should prefer to see a girl wedded to a reformed
drunkard rather than to a moderate drinker. The
one, having reached the bottom of the hill, is making
an earnest effort, which with a good woman's help
may be a successful one, to regain the top. The other
is going blindly, carelessly, yet surely, the downward
course, and no voice can arouse him to a sense of his
danger until it is too late for him to attempt to turn
back with any certainty of success. Moderate drink-
ing will sap the foundations of a home, rob it of its
means, destroy its happiness and entail sorrow and
disease and perverted appetites upon children almost
as surely as drunkenness.
PROPER MATING OF TASTE AND INTELLECT.-In
selecting a companion in marriage, if the highest hap-
piness is to be obtained, the tastes should harmonize
and intellectual endowments reach as nearly as possi-
ble the same standpoint.
RELIGION.-In matters of religion, too, it is well
that there should not be too great a difference of
opinion and feeling.
TEMPERAMENT.—In temperament it is better that
there be a decided contrast, both for their own and
their children's sakes. Thus a cool, deliberate disposi-
tion will be a constant check upon a quick and pas-
sionate one; an active and energetic character will
incite to exertion one who is slow or inclined to in-
dolence.
TRAITS OF CHARACTER.-Impulsiveness should
be mated by deliberation ; extravagance by prudence,

MARRIAGE WITH INVALIDS.
87
and so on. If like mates with like, the predominant
trait is almost certain to be transmitted intensified to
the children, and even a good trait of character or
disposition may become a bad one if carried to excess.
HAVE THOSE IN ILL-HEALTH A RIGHT TO MARRY?
--It is a mooted question whether those in ill-health
have a right to marry, and thus run the risk of entail-
ing their diseases upon their children. Those who
are afflicted with diseases which are likely to prove
hereditary, such as scrofula or consumption, had cer-
tainly best remain unmarried. But there is one fact
in favor of the marriage of those in ill-health-mar-
riage is itself a great curative, and those who, previous
to entering its bonds, are feeble and sickly, frequently
undergo great physical improvement afterward.
CHILDREN DO NOT NECESSARILY INHERIT ILL-
HEALTH FROM PARENTS.--The maladies of parents
are not necessarily repeated in their children, if the
proper precautions are observed to guard against
them. The children are probably more liable to these
maladies than to others; but with care they need never
be developed. It is one of the characteristics of
nature to resist disease; and if she is properly aided,
it may be finally overcome.
WOMEN SHOULD NOT MARRY CONFIRMED IN-
VALIDS.-Still, I would not advise a woman to marry
a man the state of whose health promised her a pre-
carious livelihood. She cannot, in justice to herself
and her probable family, undertake to be housekeeper
and provider both. Many women, when the situation

88 WHEN AND WHOM SHALL WOMEN MARRY.
is forced upon them, do this, and do it nobly and well,
and to such I give all honor. But I have only pity
and blame to bestow upon one who deliberately takes
such a responsibility upon herself in her marriage.
A WIFE SHOULD NOT BE REGARDED IN THE
LIGHT OF A NURSE.—Again, there is nothing that so
exasperates me as to hear some one say of a man in
ill-health: “He ought to get married; he needs a
wife to take care of and nurse him.” Every woman
has a right to a husband in the full possession of
health and his physical and mental powers; and in
the state of marriage she finds duties enough to occupy
her time and make a sufficient draft upon her strength
and endurance, without being burdened with an in-
valid. If such a duty devolves upon her after mar-
riage, let her fulfill it patiently and scrupulously;
but no young girl is justified in accepting in marriage
such a care. If an invalid stands in need of a nurse,
let him hire one and pay her wages, not expecting
her to assume, in addition to these duties, those of
maternity. Or, if he shrinks from hired attendance,
let him look to his mother—who it is more than half
likely is responsible for his invalidism by a false
mode of training during childhood—for the nursing
and sympathy he needs.
AN INVALID WIFE.—A man with an invalid wife
is sincerely an object of pity, if her health has failed
her since her marriage. If she was a confirmed in-
valid at the time of marriage, or even gave promise
of being so, they are both to blame; he for taking

SECOND MARRIAGES.
89
nach a burden upon himself, and she for consenting
that he should do it. The man will naturally tire of
being tied to a sickly and no doubt fretful life-com-
panion; she will suffer from real or fancied neglect,
feelings. She is liable, if she have a family, to leave
them early motherless; and there is no sadder sight-
rounded by a brood of little ones with no wife to
help him in the care of them. It is no wonder that
men in such a predicament hasten to take second
wives, finding perhaps to their sorrow, when it is too
late to repent, that they have made a jump out of the
frying-pau into the fire.
SECOND MARRIAGES.—This leads me directly to
the subject of second marriages, though I had not
purposed to touch upon them. I do not object upon
principlc to second marriages, but I believe they
ought to be entered into with more deliberation and
forethought than they usually are. In first marriages
the parties have only themselves and their own happi-
ness to consult. A widow and a widower, if they
have children, have no right to contemplate a second
matrimonial engagement without considering the in-
terests of these children. Children have rights in
this respect. They have a right to a home beneath
their father's or mother's roof; and the parent who
sets them adrift at the instigation of a second mar-
riage partner forfeits all claim to filial regard. Again,
children have a right to be happy in their home, and
8 *

90
WHEN AND WHOM SHALL WOMEN MARRY.
no parent is justified in introducing a member into
the family circle who, by being distasteful to the
inmates already there, mars that happiness. I know
it is generally conceded by writers on the subject that
men and women have a right to consult their own
happiness in the matter of their second husbands and
wives, and that it is the duty of children to submit
and be resigned. Yet it is the happiness of chil-
dren, not as judged by the interested parties, but
decided by themselves, that should be first considered
in case of a contemplated second marriage. In brief,
a man or woman having children should never
marry a second time without asking and obtaining
the consent of these children. If this is withheld,
no matter with what apparent unreason, so long as
the children, in right of their youth, have a home
beneath the parental roof, the marriage should never
take place. Children are sometimes justified in
marrying without the consent of parents, because the
real happiness of parents is not involved in the
matter except relatively through their children. But
on the other hand, a second marriage, so long as the
children remain at home, is, to say the least, quite as
important to them as it is to the parties contracting ito

CHAPTER VI.
COURTSHIP AND ENGAGEMENT.
COURTSHIP.-Having settled whom a young girl
may and whom she may not marry, we come to the
subject of courtship. It is the usual custom, when a
young man is paying attention” to a young woman,
to think that when he calls they must invariably be
unreasonable hour at night; and that, if he deserts
her after courtship is tolerably far advanced, he is
doing her great injustice.
WHAT COURTSHIP SHOULD IMPLY.—Now, court-
ship, as it is termed, should imply nothing more than
an opportunity for thorough acquaintanceship between
the two parties.
BEST MODE OF FORMING ACQUAINTANCESHIP.-
This acquaintanceship is best formed in every-day
life, in the midst of friends and companions. A more
thorough knowledge of one's character can be thus
obtained than by years of “courtship,” during which
the parties are shut up in a dimly-lighted parlor, the
young man and young woman both in their best
apparel and on their best behavior. Such a course,
however prolonged, will lead to no clearer knowledge

92
COURTSHIP AND ENGAGEMENT.
of each other's characters than there was at the out-
set.
ADVANTAGES IN DAILY ASSOCIATION OF THE
SEXES.—I wish that the two sexes could mingle on
terms of more intimate relationship in schools and
colleges and in places of employment, if for no other
formation of more judicious marriages. The divorce
court would not have so much to do if such oppor-
people who are mutually attracted meet each other in
every-day places, in the common relations of life,
where they are their natural selves. I would have
the young man see his lady-love surrounded by her
family, and if the thing were possible, I do not think
it would come amiss for her to see him under like
circumstances.
EVENING VISITS.—I do not object to evening
visits, and to the young people seeing each other alone
occasionally, but I would have the occasion seem
accidental rather than forced. I would have them
feel that they are liable to interruptions, and that they
have no right to consider themselves injured by such
interruptions.
DESIRABILITY OF EMPLOYMENT DURING SUCH
VISITS.—I would, moreover, have the young lady
employed. She must be idle, indeed, if she have no
plain sewing, no embroidery, no tatting, no knitting,
to keep her fingers busy. Let her have something to
do, if it is but the making of her own undergarments.

THE “WOMAN WHO DARES."
93
It is only a false modesty that would forbid it. I
have such a horror of idleness that if I had any idea
that my suggestion would be heeded, I should propose
that the visitor bring his knitting also. The next
best thing is to bring a book or periodical, for, let the
conversation of the young couple be ever so entertain-
ing, it can scarcely be so profitable that a half hour
or so of good reading will come amiss.
THE “WOMAN WHO DARES.”—I am not an ad-
mirer of the woman who dares;" I think it is a
man's part to seek, a woman's to be sought. I think,
too, women would rue the day when the obligation
of asking the important question was transferred to
them. I believe, as a general rule, women have more
delicacy in concealing the unsuccessful affairs of men
than men would have in their places. I can recall a
young man who once professed his belief that it was
as proper and right for a woman to ask a man to
marry her as for the man to do the asking. Acting
on this avowed belief of his, a young woman did
actually propose to him, and he refused, as of course
he had a perfect right to do in the reversal of the
circumstances. But that was not the end of it.
Whenever this girl's name was mentioned, he told
the fact of her proposal-not exactly boastfully, nor
as something actually to her discredit, but with a
motive which I can scarcely understand, still less
describe, and of which he was probably unconscious
himself. No woman would have been guilty of so
gross an indiscretion.

94
COURTSHIP AND ENGAGEMENT.
A WOMAN'S OPPORTUNITIES IN COURTSHIP.-
Besides, it is not true that women have not equal
chances with men in the matrimonial fair. A woman
certainly would not wish to seek where such seeking
was undesired; and even the most modest woman
knows how to express her slight preferences in a way
sufficient to encourage any one who is in the least
attracted to her. In fact, I have heard men assert
that so great is the vanity of man a woman may
marry whom she chooses by simply seeming to bestow
her preference, if she does not do it in a way so bold
and open as to create disgust.
INCONVENIENCE OF MEN AND WOMEN BEING
EQUALLY ENTITLED TO “POP THE QUESTION.”—
This inconvenience is easily demonstrated. Suppose
two young people are in love with each other. There
is nothing to prevent their union except that the
necessary words have not been spoken. If it was
the man's duty alone to speak them, he would soon
find the requisite courage, and the affair would be
settled. But he waits, hoping that the woman will
take the initiative. She in her turn cannot quite con-
quer her embarrassment, and trusts him to broach
the subject. So time passes on without any progress
being made, and at last they find themselves the one
a disappointed old bachelor, the other an old maid,
all because it was not definitely understood which was
to ask and which to answer.
MANEUVRES OF LOVE.-If any one were to lay
est the plan of a matrimonial campaign, with all its

EMBARRASSMENT OF THE YOUNG LADY.
95
advancings and retreatings, its seeming boldness at
one moment and its shyness at another, the whole
thing would be pronounced absurd. But it is a cam-
paign of nature's own planning, and has been prac-
ticed ever since the world began. Very likely Adam
and Eve first played it in the garden of Eden before
they became man and wife. Those few exceptional
people who boast that they were guilty of no such
foolishness in their days of courtship are to be pitied
rather than admired, as they have missed the most
exquisite happiness of life. The happiness of a for-
tunate marriage may be greater, but it is quieter and
calmer and less ecstatic. And one who would enjoy
all that life holds for him or her, and to which he or
she is entitled in right of humanity, must feel both.
LATE HOURS.—One word in regard to the late
hours which young men seem to consider themselves
privileged to keep when they are paying their ad-
dresses to young women. I am sure if they knew
the inconvenience and the real embarrassment result-
ing from their tardy evening departures, there would
be a reformation in the matter. It is safe to say that
not one girl in ten is pleased with these late visits.
and the keeping of such late hours seriously interferes
with the proper discharge of them.
EMBARRASSMENT OF THE YOUNG LADY AT SUCH
hour of ten approaches, would be only too glad if her
admirer would take his leave; and every minute after

96
COURTSHIP AND ENGAGEMENT.
that hour is one of misery. Still, if she is sensitive
as to hurting her visitor's feelings, she tries to be as
entertaining as ever. Even when he at last rises to
leave, she may faintly protest, not because she desires
his stay prolonged by any means, but as a kind of
xelf-inflicted penance, conscious that she has been
wishing for his departure so long. The next morning
she makes her appearance at the breakfast-table,
drowsy, miserable and self-conscious, knowing she
will be an object of merriment to one portion of the
family, and of black looks, if not of actual upbraid-
ing, to the other. And she, poor girl! is not to blame.
Perhaps she ought to tell her visitor plainly that his
company is undesirable after a certain hour. But
few girls have the moral courage to do this, and some
young men would take mortal offence at it. It is
certainly unjust to reprimand the girl. The best way
would be for one of the parents to intimate to the
young man himself, plainly yet kindly, their wishes
in this matter, when, if he is a man of sense, and a
desirable associate for their daughter, there will be no
difficulty in future. It is better to come the oftener
if he really craves so much the society of the lady
whom he desires to make his wife. If she have a
corresponding regard for him, she will be foolish
enough to be always glad to see him, and take it as a
compliment that he neglects others for her.
UNDUE FAMILIARITY BETWEEN THE SEXES.
Much has been written concerning undue familiarity
between the sons, and there cannot be too urgent

RESPONSIBILITIES OF YOUNG GIRLS.
97
caution given to young girls on this matter. They
should consider themselves sacred from the touch,
even, of the other sex; and most young men who
have a due regard for virtuous womanhood will
respect this sacredness upon the merest intimation of
such a desire upon the girl's part. Yet such is the
laxity of society in this particular, that a young girl
is frequently placed in a difficult position. Kisses
are often freely proffered and freely accepted between
the sexes, and the girl who refuses them is too often
set down as a coquette or a prude. This refusal is
in many cases considered as a mere challenge to take
a kiss unasked. When this is the case, it is better to
submit quietly and passively, than to keep up any
prolonged resistance, but it is well, if possible, to
make the giver feel that he has incurred displeasure.
A WOMAN'S KISSES.—I would have a girl in no
Case give a kiss except to her betrothed, and to be
c'iary of such caresses even to him. If a girl cannot
r fuse a kiss without placing herself in an awkward
f edicament (as for instance in games in which kisses
a) the forfeit), let her be entirely passive in the
nitter.
RESPONSIBILITIES OF YOUNG GIRLS.—Now, all
tl s is not for the sole purpose of preserving men's
frture wives for them pure and chaste, but to protect
the purity of men themselves. Young girls do not
know, but I sometimes think they ought to know,
that the passions of men are much stronger and more
easily inflamed than their own. A levity of behavior,

98 COURTSHIP AND ENGAGEMENT.
thoughtlessly and—inasmuch as she does not know
the consequences—innocently pursued by a young
girl, has excited the passions of her male companion
almost beyond his control, so that, though he has
given no evidence of it in her presence, he may have
gone from her side directly to the arms of a fallen
woman. This is a difficult subject to discuss, and
one through a false modesty seldom or never ap-
proached. But girls ought to be made aware of their
responsibilities in this matter. Many a young girl
would undoubtedly stand aghast if the ruin she may
have thus wrought were brought home to her. So
let young girls be very careful, and feel that they
have not only their own moral safety, but that of their
companions of the other sex, in their keeping.
PROPER DEGREE OF FAMILIA RITÝ BETWEEN AN
ENGAGED COUPLE.—There is a difference of opinion
in regard to the degree of familiarity which should.
exist between an engaged couple. I think, if the
engagement is to be a short one, with scarcely a possi-
bility of rupture, no harm can come of relaxing
somewhat the discipline which is imposed on the non-
wed; especially as half the enjoyment of the
betrothal comes from the privileges which are usually
Bccorded to it—the tender hand-pressings, the freely-
bestowed kisses and the half-yielded caresses.
? NECESSITY OF CAUTION.—But girls must be care-
ful even here, both for their own safety and that of
their affianced husbands. If these familiarities are
allowed to drift into improprieties, there are some

NECESSITY OF CAUTION.
99
men who can never forgive them. This is the cruelest
injustice of all. If a man has been guilty of per-
suading his affianced into improprieties, it ought to be
the strongest reason for their marriage; whether she
has been mutually carried away with him under the
loving him too much, he is equally bound to her,
He has been at least equally guilty with her, and it
is cruelty intensified to leave her to bear alone the
heavy punishment which the world does not inflict
upon him. It is not likely she will make the less
true and faithful wife for this indiscretion. In the
eyes of God she is his wife already, for God's laws
were made before man's laws, and marriage consists
in the exchange of vows of love and fidelity between
a man and a woman, and a physical consummation
of these vows. The legal form does not make the
marriage, it only recognizes it. If there were no
such thing as laws, marriage would exist all the same.
Miss Muloch, now Mrs. Craik, one of the noblest
of what I say. She makes one of her heroines dis-
card the man to whom she is engaged, upon learning
that he has seduced a girl in humble station. She
tells him that he is married to this girl in the eyes of
God, and that she would be equally guilty with him
if she were to become his wife. The man at first
protests, but finally accepts the situation and marries
his humble victim. But I repeat, let girls beware
that they place themselves in no such equivocal posi-

100
COURTSHIP AND ENGAGEMENT.
tion. Let their future husbands be ever so generous
and just, it is an act of which they will repent all
their lives, and which they will feel no after excel-
lence can ever quite atone for.
BEHAVIOR DURING LONG ENGAGEMENTS.—If the
engagement is to be a long one, the utmost circum-
spection of behavior is desirable; for long engage-
ments are notoriously uncertain ones. And it cannot
be a pleasant reflection for a young woman, after the
rupture of an engagement from any cause whatever,
that there exists a man who will never be her hus-
band, but who has been allowed the privilege of
familiarity with her person only less than that ac-
corded to a husband.
ADVANTAGES OF SHORT ENGAGEMENTS.--I be-
lieve it is better, when circumstances will permit, to
make engagements short, and thus avoid all chances
of temptation. An engagement should not be entered
into without due deliberation, but when once con-
tracted it ought to be considered as a prelude to early
marriage.
ARE ENGAGEMENTS ABSOLUTELY BINDING ?-I
do not regard an engagement as absolutely binding.
It ought to be considered as a kind of brief probation,
during which either party can for good cause with-
draw without blame. Marriage is irrevocable, but
an engagement is not so. Should either party dis-
cover any reason why it ought to be ruptured, great
injustice would be done the other to let it pass unmen-
tioned. A bitter yet brief sorrow is better than a

THE MARRIAGE DAY.
101
lifetime of unhappiness. I cannot imagine why any
one should wish to force another into a bond which
had become repugnant. Still, no one should break
off an engagement until fully convinced that its con-
tinuance, ending in marriage, would result in lasting
unhappiness to one or both of the parties.
PRESENTS.—It is not uncommon for gentlemen to
make presents to their lady friends, and often these
presents are of the most heterogeneous character. A
trifling present such as a bouquet of flowers, a book
or a periodical may be proffered and received with
perfect propriety. But any lady of delicacy will
hesitate before she becomes indebted to her friends
of the other sex for numerous or costly presents.
In the first place, it is too great a tax upon a young
man of moderate means; and in the second, it places
the lady under embarrassing obligations. Even be-
tween a betrothed couple presents should be few in
number and trifling in value. If the engagement for
any cause is broken off, it is very embarrassing to
be obliged to return these gifts of affection, while it
would be still more embarrassing to retain them.
THE MARRIAGE DAY.—It has been wisely left for
the woman to decide the exact day of her marriage.
This day should be fixed by her at a date about equi-
distant between her monthly periods—say the tenth
or twelfth day thereafter. The reason for this is that
the consummation of marriage is frequently attended
with inconvenience, and even physical prostration, and
it is well that the newly-made wife should have time
923

102
COURTSHIP AND ENGAGEMENT.
to recover from this before there is a probability of
ker being overtaken by new physical experiences.
As at this period she is less liable to conceive than
at any other, she will escape the inconveniences of
pregnancy until her system has had time to recu-
perate. Besides, no woman lately passed from the
condition, feelings, ideas, and perhaps prejudices, of
girlhood, however much she may look forward to
being a mother, but would prefer to be a wife alone
for a short time at least, if it were only that she
might give her friends no opportunity, on the birth
of her first child, of counting off on their fingers the
exact time which has elapsed since her marriage, and
finding it “nine months to a day,” or even a fraction
less, as frequently happens in a first confinement.
TROUSSEAUX.—It is no doubt commendable in a
young bride to desire to become a pecuniary burden
to her husband at as remote a period as possible.
Still, rather than worry and flurry, and wear her
strength and energies out during the few weeks pre-
vious to her marriage, when she ought to be keeping
herself calm and her health undisturbed, it would be
well to remember that the State of Matrimony is
within the borders of civilization, and that there are
still drygoods stores and dressmakers within the reach
of those who have entered its limits.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.--Sober, matter-of-fact peo-
ple laugh at the idea of love at first sight; and it
certainly seems absurd; for love is, after all, a matter
of growth. Yet there are cases on record where the

HASTY MARRIAGES.
attraction has been so strong on the first interview as
to lapse at once into earnest love, resulting in happy
marriage. I do not feel, therefore, like declaring my
utter disbelief in such a thing. I can now recall to
mind the case of a man who, having for a number
of years remained true to his early love for a girl
who was forced by her parents to refuse him, passed
through a room in which was a woman who im-
pressed him so strongly and so favorably in the
casual glance he gave her that he felt certain she
was to be his wife. This feeling never forsook him.
He was not convinced of its incorrectness, even when,
after acquaintance, she refused him. The result was
that he finally actually married her, and after many
years of married life his love was as strong as ever,
and he professed himself a firm believer in the theory
of love at first sight.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT NOT ALWAYS A SERIOUS
OR LASTING IMPRESSION.-However, I should not
advise my readers, especially the younger portion of
them, to trust too implicitly to this impulse. It is
apt to disappear as quickly as it comes, if no fuel be
added to its flame. It would be well to try it by
time, and to apply the various other tests which are
proper in affairs of love and marriage, before taking
an irrevocable step.
of hasty marriages. In such cases it is almost in-
variably “marry in haste and repent at leisure.”
ADVERTISING, OR ANSWERING ADVERTISEMENTS

104
COURTSHIP AND ENGAGEMENT.
ASKING FOR ACQUAINTANCESHIP OF THE OTHER
SEx.—No young girl of any modesty or decency
will attempt to form the acquaintance of a person
of the other sex through the medium of the advertis-
ing columns of a public newspaper. There is every
opportunity for deception, and the girl who thus vio-
lates propriety offers herself a ready victim to deceit.
Such a thing is not allowable even in the way of jest.
A man may be already so bad that nothing can make
him worse; but a woman cannot engage in such
doubtful games without injury to her delicacy and
morality.
MARRIAGE BY ADVERTISEMENT.—As for mar-
riages by advertisement and correspondence without
previous personal acquaintance, I have no words suffi-
ciently strong with which to condemn them. They
are immodest and indiscreet on the woman's part;
they are rash if not dishonest on the man's, for it is
so easy for a rogue or profligate to conceal his real
character in such a veiled courtship. I have had one
or two such marriages come to my knowledge, and
most unhappy ones they were. Separation and ap-
plication to the divorce court are their usual results.
AVOID SECRESY.—No secresy should be tolerated
in love affairs. Of course I do not allude to that
harmless secresy which may be observed concerning
the exact progress of the love affairs of a young
couple who imagine that because they tell nothing
all the world is blind. A man and woman may not
care to announce the exact day of their engagement,

PLATONIC FRIENDSHIPS.
100
thinking that the fact concerns themselves alone; but
they should feel no need of blushing and denying it
should the world become cognizant of it. When there
seems to be such need, there must be something radi-
cally wrong. An honest love is a bold love which
has no cause to be ashamed, and an honest marriage
may be proclaimed before all the world.
CONSENT OF PAPENTS.-It is always best and wisest
to obtain the consent of parents in love affairs. But
if the parties have reached the age of discretion, they
are themselves the best judges as to what concerns
their own happiness. So that, even if consent is with-
held, a couple cannot be considered utterly blamable
who, after waiting a suitable period in order that
objections may be withdrawn, still proceed to mar-
riage. Fortunately, the days of the “stern parent"
have passed away with the old school of romance, and
parents are not apt to raise objections unreasonably.
Therefore it is well to give them due consideration,
and allow time to prove whether they are well or ill
founded. It is perfectly proper for parents to attempt
to prevent their young daughter from marrying at too
early an age, and she is guilty of gross misdemeanor
if she does not respect their wishes.
“PLATONIC FRIENDSHIPS.”—In a chapter devoted
to “courtship and engagement” the discussion of this
subject may seem out of place. But I must say a few
words, and I know of no other portion of my book
where it will fit in more appropriately. All young
girls are firm believers in the possibility of “Platonic

106
COURTSHIP AND ENGAGEMENT.
friendships.” Even as friendship after friendship of
this sort proves illusive, they still cling to the idea
and its possible realization. I do not know what
heard them expressed; but I do know that these
“friends” have a most inconvenient way of turning
out to be lovers in disguise, and striking consternation
to the hearts of their young lady acquaintances. Still,
woman as I am, advanced to middle life, I plead
guilty to cherishing the ideal and believing its real-
ization possible; for it is too beautiful not to be true.
· But girls had best be on their guard; for the innocent
acts of what they consider a free and unreserved
friendship may be set down against them as deliber-
ate coquetries. I will give a page from my own
experience which may serve the double purpose of
amusement and instruction.
A young lady friend and myself, in our younger
days, were discussing this very subject, expressing our
beliefs in the possibilities of such a friendship, and
mourning the perversity of young men who did not
We were, however, so we declared, each in the pos-
session of one tried and true friend, who could be
safely trusted to abstain from all sentiment and love-
making. I had kept up an unremitting correspond-
ence with mine for two years, more or less, and his
letters were always such as I might safely and unhesi-
tatingly show to the world. My friend also main-
tained her intercourse with her acquaintance by means

PLATONIC FRIENDSHIPS.
107
of letters, which were equally free from anything
objectionable, as we considered sentiment. We were
both a little suspicious of each other's “friend,” but
quite sure of our own. Finally we made a compact,
in order each to fully convince the other, that the
next letters that arrived from these parties should be
handed unopened for a first reading to the lady for
whom they were not intended.
My letter came first, and, true to my promise, I
handed it to my friend, while I busied myself with
other missives which reached me by the same mail.
I noticed that she seemed very much amused in its
reading; but I did not think much about it, as my
correspondent was an odd genius in his way, and
sometimes wrote singular though perfectly proper
letters. When she had finished, she handed it to me
without a word. What was my amazement to find
that the opening paragraph contained a declaration,
and there were four foolscap pages of sentiment, whiclı
my lady friend had read through to the very last
word! I wrote him but one more letter after that, in
which I intimated plainly but kindly that I thought
ing that she had not been quite true to her promise
in giving me a first reading. But as she had received
the letter the night before, she thought I would not
insist upon her waiting until she saw me before it was
opened. I took the open sheet and glanced at it, and

108
COURTSHIP AND ENGAGEMENT.
found that it, too, commenced with a declaration;
but the letter ended abruptly in the middle of the
page and in the midst of a sentence. The young
man had evidently made more than one attempt at
letter-writing before he had succeeded to his satisfac-
tion, and then, in his perturbation of mind, had folded
and mailed the wrong sheet! The proper letter came
a mail or two after. It is needless to say that on the
subject of “Platonic friendships” we were both
silenced if not convinced.

CHAPTER VII.
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY
PROTECTION OF THE FAMILY.—The one institu-
tion most sacred in all the world is the family; and
the abiding-place, the retreat, the altar of the family
is the home. To protect the family and to preserve
the inviolability of the home, all governments, from
the earliest ages, have been instituted.
THE DESTRUCTION OF THE FAMILY.—Whoever
destroys the family and desecrates the hearth-stone
uproots government and upheaves society from its
very foundations, tearing down so effectually that
there is no hope of rebuilding.
FREE LOVE.—Of the practical workings of the
system of “free love" we may see illustrations every
day in the police and criminal records. We find
special illustrations in a recent notorious murder case
on the Pacific shore, and in a still more recent and
more notorious one in New York City.
THE HOME.—The first object, not only of govern-
ment, but of each individual, should be to hedge about
the home with every means of protection, and to
make it the centre of all contentment and peace.
Society should be the outgrowth of the home, which
10
109

110
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
latter should contribute to it from its overflow of
happiness.
DESERTERS FROM THE HOME.—In those families
where society and the public are put first, by either
husband or wife, the natural order of things is sub-
verted. As long as there are pressing home duties
for either the one or the other, their call should be
loud enough to drown all voices from the outer world.
A man's duties to his family are as obligatory as those
of a woman. A husband and father who, to enter
into public life, deserts his home and compels the
wife and mother to bear his burdens in addition to
her own, is just as culpable as the woman who leaves
her baby unrocked and her husband's stockings un
mended. He is a shirker, and his wife must stagger
under double responsibilities.
TIME OF RELEASE FROM DOMESTIC DUTIES.-
There comes a time in the life of both hasband and
wife, when their minds have matured and their ex-
periences have fitted them for more extended labor.
And this time is when, in the natural order of things,
home cares have relaxed, and both are equally ready
for the work of the world. Then whatever their
hands find to do let them do with all their might,
and let them, as far as possible, work in unison,
remembering that those whom God hath joined
together no man should put asunder.
SIGNIFICANCE OF THE WORD HOME.—I do not
accept the common definition of the word home,
which, if put into plain, brief language, would read,

THE HOMELESS.
111
A prison-house for women. It has to me a broader,
world within a world. It is the central point of the
universe around which all things revolve. It is the
treasure-house of the affections, the one serenely
bright spot in all the world, toward which its absent.
members always look with hope and anticipation. It
is the shrine to which all the trophies of victories won
in the world are brought with pride and triumph, and
where the victor receives the sympathy and congratu-
lation of the circle dearest to him, and is recrowned
with laurels which retain perennial freshness when
the wreath accorded by the public has faded and is
forgotten. A prophet may be little honored in his
own country; but a man and woman are never so
great a hero and heroine as in their domestic circle.
If they are worthy of respect and reverence, they are
never anywhere else so much respected and revered ;
and they are never anywhere else so much loved,
whether, alas! they are worthy of it or not.
TREASURES OF THE HOME.—It is as they may be
beautiful or useful in our homes, that all earthly
things are valuable or valueless. Here are garnered
up whatever treasures the world offers to the indus-
here rich experiences; here sometimes sorrows too
sacred for the common eye to see.
THE HOMELESS.— All homes are not true homes.
Few are as perfect as they might be. Many are not
homes at all. They are only places where food and

112
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
shelter may be obtained, and where the individual
members feel privileged to be themselves at their
worst. The occupants of such homes are more to be
is recorded : “The author of 'Home, Sweet Home.'
He never had a home.” The latter had a concep-
tion of what home ought to be. They, pitiful beg-
gars upon the cold charity of the outer world! have
neither the home itself, nor its ideal within their
hearts. God pity the homeless !
CONSTRUCTION OF THE HOME.—Marriage lays the
foundations of the home; the children build the
walls; and the structure is strengthened and stayed
by conjugal, parental and filial love, and roofed over
by mutual forbearance and self-sacrifice.
MARRIAGE.—“A pure life from the day we become
other; a frank and open communion from that day
to the wedding; a loyalty, purity and patience ming-
ling with our love from that day onward, and this
true expression of our perfect trust from beyond the
grave,—these are the things that go to a true wedding,
a true home and a blessed home life.” These are the
concluding words of Robert Collyer's sermon on
“Marriage”-a sermon so true, so beautiful, so ad-
mirable in every respect, that I wish I might give
the whole of it here.
PHYSICAL RELATIONS OF MARRIAGE.—Marriage
brings a man and woman into the closest physical
relations. These relations, if rightly regarded and

BRIDAL TOURS.
113
properly sustained, are conducive to happiness, health
and longevity. When they are perverted and abused,
and their true aims overlooked, they are the cause cf
physical and mental wretchedness and moral deterior-
ation.
MARRIAGE A SACRAMENT.-A pure marriage, in
which affection is the ruling power and passion is
curbed and held in control-in which the thought of
self is kept secondary—is a true sacrament, blessing
the participants. A marriage in which passion, un-
guided by reason, degenerates into lust, is a sacrament
desecrated, a blessing turned to a curse.
BRIDAL TOURS.—Every newly-married couple, no
matter how limited their means, feel obliged, if they
would maintain their position in society, to take a
bridal tour. As bridal tours were first instituted-
for the purpose of taking the young couple away, at
the commencement of the new physical and moral
experiences which they must undergo, from prying
eyes, unpleasant and impertinent remarks and unwise
interference, and allowing them time to adjust them-
selves in their new relations—they were certainly not
objectionable. To accomplish these desirable ends,
quiet and retirement in semi-solitude seem most ne-
cessary, where they shall be thrown exclusively into
each other's society, and have opportunity to become
better acquainted with each other's characters. Such
a plan as this may not be wise in all respects, but it
has at least a show of reasonableness which is utterly
lacking in a fashionable bridal tour. In the conven-
10 *

114
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
tional tour, instead of retiring from the public gaze,
they set out for the most crowded places; instead of
seeking to avoid observation, they court it by a disa
play of unmistakable bridal trappings; instead of
seeking to learn each other's characters more fully by
indulging in each other's society under the most
favorable auspices, the exigencies of travel and sight-
seeing, with the weariness which these entail, and the
nervous and physical excitement incident to the event
which they are celebrating, frequently call out only
their most unfavorable traits, and leave them at the
conclusion of their journey. less pleased with each
other than when they set out. Then the expense
involved in a fashionable bridal trip would go far
toward furnishing a house and providing a home for
those who, from a fancied want of means, are obliged
to take refuge, for a more or less extended period, in
I think the prettiest description of a bridal tour I
ever read is in Miss Alcott's “Little Women,” where
Margaret and John, after the wedding day is over,
walk in the gloaming side by side along the narrow
path which leads from the home of the bride's parents
to the little house which is to be their own home in
future. That is the best, the most sensible bridal
tour which takes the young people, in whatever
fashion, directly to the spot which is to be their home,
and consecrates that spot from the very marriage day
with all the sweet memories which belong to and
bless a happy marriage.

EVILS OF BOARDING-HOUSE LIFE.
bridal tours brings us naturally to the consideration
of the future home of the young couple. It is the
great evil of the present state of society that young
ignorant of domestic duties, and perhaps does not
care to correct that ignorance. The husband, used to
all the orderliness and luxuries of a long-established
household, shrinks from meeting the failure and pos-
sible discomfort which may await him in a house of
his own. Both perhaps wish to live in a style un-
suited to their means, and find they can do this better
and with less care in a boarding-house than in a
private establishment. But this will be found a great
mistake when considered from the proper point of
view.
Boarding-house life is at best a poor substitute for
the quiet and retirement of home. It is leading this
life that we find idle, frivolous women-women who
“want no more rights” lest they should bring with
them new duties—women who sneer at temperance
and all the earnest questions of the day—women who
have no higher aim than to dress fashionably and ex-
travagantly and to be admired. It is in boarding-
houses that our scandal and divorce cases are matured
—where husbands learn to be neglectful and wives
unloving and unfaithful. There is one common parlor
for dress and show and flirtation, for gossip and mis-
chief-making, but no chance for any of that quiet
home-life which develops the affections and brings

116
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
out into strong relief all the manly and womanly
traits of the character.
Everybody needs a home, and a boarding-house is
not in any sense a home. Let the young couple be
content to begin humbly if they must, but let them
by all means isolate themselves from the cutside
world, so that the home shall be something distinct
and apart from it-an altar dearer and more sacred
than it is possible to erect within the precincts of
the hotel or the boarding-house. Those families
themselves.
TEST OF VIRGINITY.--It is popularly believed that
the husband receives proof upon the consummation of
his marriage of the previous chastity of his wife. If
he obtains this evidence it is safe to accept it as con-
clusive, though rare exceptional cases are to be met
with in which the evidence counts for nothing. If,
on the other hand, the proof is wanting, it is most
unjust and cruel, on the strength of this alone, to
riage. It is not uncommon for accidents, which may
occur at any time, and which may even date back to
birth itself, to destroy this evidence; or it may never
have existed.
ABUSE OF MARITAL PRIVILEGES.—One is often
led to wonder if a large class of men are not simply
brutes, in all that concerns the physical relations of
marriage. Women do not readily make confidentia
complaints to other women against their husbands,

JUST CAUSES FOR REFUSAL.
118
So that when a word -- an incompleted sentence
smothered before it is fully uttered—is spoken, it
must be wrung from the lips by extreme marital
brutality. That women, many women, so suffer at
the hands of husbands, brutal in this respect, though
kind in all others, does not admit of doubt. Disin-
clination, weariness, ill-health, none of these things
will excuse a woman from a participation in the
marital act, when her husband's inclinations lead him
to require it of her. Strange that, while the law rec-
ognizes rape as a crime punishable by severe penalties,
there is no recognition whatever of a married woman's
right to control over her own person. I do not know
that the most brutal conduct in this respect, if there
was no other reason for complaint, would be considered
by the courts as a sufficient cause for divorce. Yet
any one can readily imagine that it is possible for a
- man of a strong sensual nature, who places no curb
upon his appetites, to render the life of a delicate,
pure-minded woman intolerable to the last degree.
As mutual affection is the heavenly bond of marriage,
so mutual pleasure should alone sanction its earthly
bond. Love should be prepared to give as well as to
receive—to be self-denying when self-denial is re-
quired of it. I cannot believe that a wife who sees
her husband thus considerate will be unreasonable in
her refusals.
JUST CAUSES FOR REFUSAL OF A HUSBAND'S DE-
MANDS.—There are certain times and circumstances
when a woman is perfectly justified in refusing her

118
. MAJ RIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
husband's demands. These are, during her monthly
periods; for or e month after confinement; for three
months after riiscarriage; during convalescence from
any ordinary s`ckness, while the woman is still weak
and debilitated ; in case of any uterine difficulty which
renders cohabitation painful and of course injurious ;
if there is any sufficient reason for limiting the number
and after menstruation; when the husband is in a
stimulants or opiates; and when there is knowledge
of unfaithfulness on his part. In the latter case, if
the woman have true respect for herself, she will make
her refusal absolute and final.
fication of sexual passion, though beneficial if indulged
in moderately, will, if carried to excess, prove highly
injurious, and may possibly result in lost energies and
prostrated health. If the husband has not sufficient
self-control, the wife is justified in limiting him to the
bounds of temperance and prudence, not only for her
own comfort and convenience, but for her husband's
good.
SHALL HUSBAND AND WIFE SLEEP TOGETHER ?
Certainly, if they both wish it. If either or both
partics do not desire it, or if they have reason to
suppuse that the health of either suffers in-consequence
(and I have known such cases), or if the husband
canlı ot properly control his amorous propensities, they
be' 'better by all means occupy separate beds. If the

SCARS LEFT BY THE O' 4.
119
last reason is the one causing this sep: raticu, they had
better occupy different apartments, w.th a luck on the
communicating door, the key in the wife's possession.
CONCEPTION.—The manner in which conception
takes place has long been a matter of dispute among
physiologists, and many theories, some tolerably plau-
sible, others absurd, have been advanced in different
ages of the world. It is probably something which
can never be entirely understood; but certain facts
have already been elicited by the experiments of
modern science, and still others may yet be discovered.
It is established that from the ovarics of a woman
capable of bearing children a minute ovum or egg
escapes at regular intervals—usually once in four
weeks-during the period of the menstrual flow.
This ovum passes slowly down into the womb through
the Fallopian tube, which connects the ovary with the
womb, and thence out. It is believed that if before
its expulsion from the womb it comes in contact with
the male element it becomes impregnated, remains in
the womb and develops into a living embryo.
SCARS LEFT BY THE OVA.—Each ovum as it bursts
from the ovary leaves a scar behind it, which, how-
ever, if the ovum is not impregnated soon disappears.
If conception takes place, the scar remains; so that
the lasting scars upon the ovaries correspond with the
number of times a woman has conceived. This latter
fact is something that puzzles physiologists, and has
led them to think it possible that impregnation of the
oyum takes place before it leaves the ovary. Demon-

120
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
strable facts, however, testify against this belief. I
know comparatively little of either physiology or
anatomy, so I offer my theory regarding these scars
with due hesitation and modesty ; but may it not be
possible that, when the regularity of the ejection of
the ova from the ovary is uninterrupted, each suc-
and that in case of conception and the consequent rest
of the ovaries for a greater or less period—usually
through pregnancy and suckling—the last scar, re-
maining undisturbed, has time to assume a permanent
form?
ERRONEOUS BELIEF CONCERNING CONCEPTION.-
It is a belief entertained by a majority of people even
yet, and one upon which our laws are based and
judicial decisions rendered, that conception cannot
take place unless both be willing parties to the con-
jugal act, and participate in its pleasure. Modern
science has proved the fallacy of this. French phy-
sicians have, by a series of audacious experiments, the
nature of which it is not necessary to describe here,
demonstrated beyond a shadow of doubt that not only
is mutual pleasure in cohabitation unnecessary, but
that conception may actually take place while the
totally unconscious. They have proved even more
than this, but this is sufficient. Thus the decision
which declares an alleged rape to be nothing more
than seduction, because the union proved fruitful,
may be cruelly unjust.

DESIRABILITY OF CHILDREN.
121
GRAVE IMPORTANCE OF THE ACT OF GENERA-
TION.–Of the exact manner of conception there is
little known, nor probably will there ever be any
greater knowledge. It is known, or at least believed,
however, that the moment of generation is one of
unparalleled importance to the welfare of the future
being. Dr. Hufeland, an eminent German writer,
says: “In my opinion, it is of the utmost importance
that this moment (the moment of sexual union) should
be confined to a period when the sensation of collected
powers, ardent passion, and a mind cheerful and free
from care, invite to it on both sides." Yet how
almost invariably is this, the most important act of
life, so considered from its possible consequences, par-
ticipated in thoughtlessly, and in improper and un-
worthy physical and mental states !
STERILITY.—When married women do not become
mothers, they are said to be sterile or barren. This
condition is not uncommon among women, and is
frequently the cause of much unhappiness; for while
many women regret their ability to bear children,
those who have no children exhibit almost a morbid
longing for them.
DESIRABILITY OF CHILDREN.—It is certainly fai
better that a married pair should become parents than
that they should live childless. A life unblessed with
children is a selfish life. However pleasant and con-
venient it may be in youth and middle age, it is un-
satisfactory at the end. The desire for and love of
offspring are instincts implanted by nature, and men
11

122
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
and women are all the more easily reconciled to old
age, with its declining powers, and at last to death, in
the consciousness that they are represented in their
children who will live after them, and who may
accomplish, perhaps, what they have failed to do.
A life into which no child-love has ever entered
is apt to become contracted, selfish and hard. The
little ones teach us charity, patience and kindness.
In the care of them we receive our own best educa-
tion. Therefore, those wives who fail to become
mothers may well consider themselves unfortunate,
and are justified in asking anxiously if there is any
CAUSES OF STERILITY.—The causes of sterility are
numerous. It is well known that the families of the
rich are, on an average, much smaller than those of
the poor. The reason of this is that idleness and
luxurious living act as a check upon child-bearing.
A woman leading such a life is not so apt to conceive
as, or if she does conceive she is more apt to miscarry
than, those who live in accordance with the laws of
nature.
On the other hand, an active life and a plain, spare
diet are conducive to fecundity. And thus children
become the poor man's only riches.
Displacement of the womb is also a frequent cause
?of childlessness. When barrenness results from this
or from similar causes, it may almost always be known
by the pain and prostration which attend the monthly
period. This is, of course, remediable, and the ad-

CURE OF STERILITY.
123
vice and assistance of a physician should be sought
at once.
Debility may prevent conception or cause miscar-
riage. So also will too frequent sexual intercourse or
too intense passion at such times. Again, a woman
may be capable of conception, but so liable to miscarry
that she will never go her full time.
so early a period in pregnancy that the woman may
never suspect the true state of the case, and imagine
herself sterile. When a liability to miscarry is known,
or even suspected, a physician should be consulted
who may be able to devise means to prevent it, or at
least render it less likely in future. The husband
should absent himself from his wife's bed for three
months after a miscarriage if he would diminish the
chances of its repetition. These are some of the
remediable causes of sterility. There are other causes
unnecessary.
CURE OF STERILITY.—A childless wife who desires
to become a mother should, therefore, live sparingly,
in Julge in abundant exercise (unless her childlessness
is the result of miscarriages, when, in certain cases,
she had best preserve quiet), subject herself to no
undue excitements nor partake of stimulants. If
there are local diseases, they should be attended to,
and her general health should be brought to its
highest standard. Sexual pleasures should be but
moderately indulged in. An entire change of air and

124
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
scene, with a temporary absence, more or less pro-
longed, from her husband, will often prove beneficial.
STERILE HUSBANDS.—It is, however, a mistake to
place the blame of unfruitfulness in marriage invari-
ably upon the wife. Some men are sterile as well as
some women, although their general health may be
good and their powers unimpaired by excesses. Then,
again, “reformed rakes” have not infrequently lost
their virility through antenuptial excesses. In this
case it is the husband who requires medical and
hygienic treatment. Such a state of affairs is plainly
though somewhat coarsely illustrated in Charles
Reade’s recent novel, “ A Terrible Temptation.”
CRIMINAL ABORTION.—A few years since I read
an excellent little pamphlet by a well-known phy-
sician, entitled “The Serpent in the Dove's Nest,"
and treating of criminal abortion. (The same gentle-
man published shortly after a companion pamphlet
for men, entitled “Is it I ?” equally excellent and
equally deserving of attention.) This pamphlet
treated of the prevalence of criminal abortion in
America; and the author's earnest protests against it
ought to have been productive of the best results.
CIRCUMSTANCES WHICH MAY EXTENUATE CRIMI-
NAL ABORTION.—Yet-there are sometimes, I think,
extenuating circumstances in the commission of this
crime; though I would not by any means justify the
deed. The first to be considered of these circum-
stances is the ignorance of women on all points con-
cerning it. The almost universal belief among wo-

RESPONSIBILITY OF PUBLISHERS.
125
men—even intelligent women—is that the life of a
child does not begin until quickening is felt, and that
to produce abortion before that time is not to destroy
life, but simply to remove a physical obstruction. No
one having sufficient authority has ever taught them
any better; and the assertion of a mere woman like
themselves they are not likely to regard.
Again, very few are aware of the grave dangers
threatening health, and even life, attending abortion.
They believe that it occasions only temporary incon-
venience, from which they recover far sooner than
from an ordinary confinement. Thus, after an abor-
tion is accomplished, they are almost certain, by a
hasty and imprudent convalescence, to bring on cer-
tain diseases which by a more careful course they
might possibly escape.
RESPONSIBILITY OF PUBLISHERS.—Women should
not be considered alone to blame in the matter of
criminal abortions. Editors may enter their protests
against this crime in whole columns of moral indigna-
tion, but so long as they are ready, for pay, to publish
advertisements of remedies for “ female irregularities,”
“warranted to remove obstructions of whatever na-
ture with perfect safety,” editors will talk in vain.
Nor can they shirk the responsibility that rests upon
them. The publisher who inserts in his sheet any
advertisement whatever, of such a character, is re-
sponsible in a degree for all the misfortune and
criminality which the publication of such an adver-
tisement occasions.
11

MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
DANGER OF QUACK MEDICINES.—There are no -
female irregularities which can safely be medically
treated by any one but a regular physician. These
patent medicines are invariably harmful. Even in
the class of diseases for which they are nominally
intended, the chances are very great that they will
produce confirmed invalidism instead of health.
CULPABILITY OF Law-MAKERS.—Nor are our
law-makers less culpable, when they punish only the
man or woman found guilty of producing criminal
abortion, and permit these advertisements to circulate
through the land without any legal responsibility
upon either advertiser, publisher or seller.
How To CHECK THE CRIME OF WILLFUL ABOR-
TION.—In only one way can this crime be checked,
so far as women themselves are concerned. It is by
the diffusion of knowledge. Let women be made
thoroughly conversant with the physiological bearings
of pregnancy. Impress upon them beyond the possi-
bility of a doubt that life exists in the embryo from
the moment of conception, and that this life is almost
as distinct from that of the mother as when the babe
has entered the world and draws sustenance from her
breasts. Her pelvis is only the primary cradle which
holds it, and her womb the covering which enwraps
and protects it until it has reached a period of de-
velopment which qualifies it to lead a more exposed
life. It is her child from the very first, and she is a
mother in reality from the earliest period of its existe
ence.

AN EFFICIENT TEMPERANCE LAW.
127
WOMEN NOT WITHOUT CONSCIENCES.-Women
may be frivolous and thoughtless, even unreasoning
and unreasonable sometimes; but they have con-
sciences. When they realize that willful abortion is
nothing less than murder, as surely as though they
murdered the babe that lies in their arms, they will
shrink with horror from its commission.
ACCESSORY TO THE CRIME OF FETICIDE.-There
is almost always an accessory to this crime, which the
world usually does not remember. I mean the hus-
band or the seducer of the woman who commits it.
When the woman is unmarried, and she resorts to
the act to hide her shame, she ought to be regarded
with pity as well as with blame. She is driven to a
state of desperation and distraction which man can
never realize, and which so nearly approaches insanity,
that a broad charity might readily pronounce it such,
with far more justice, in fact, than in many murder
cases where such a verdict has been returned. A
remedy has never been devised to check this crime
under these circumstances, and never will be, until
one which I will presently recommend shall be tried.
I am a woman, and, no doubt, see things in a different
light from men; but I am none the less convinced
not only of the efficacy, but of the justice, of my plan.
AN EFFICIENT TEMPERANCE LAW.—Three years
ago, writing incidentally in a magazine article of the
evils of intemperance, I declared it as my conviction
that the only effectual bar to drunkenness would be
to make the liquor-seller pecuniarily responsible for

128
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
any evils resulting from his business. I thought
myself radical and singular in such an assertion; but
to-day the most effective temperance law ever known
is based upon this very principle. This law is now
in active operation in several of our States. It derives
its singular efficiency from the fact that it places the
weapons of defence against liquor-selling in the hands
of the greatest sufferers from it—the injured wives
of drunken husbands. Thus the absolute truth of
my impressions has been verified.
GUÍLT OF THE SEDUCER.—I would see this same
principle applied in the case of criminal abortion,
especially when it follows seduction. We may not be
able to mould public opinion, but we can make laws.
In an unmarried woman there is but one cause which
operates to the commission of this crime, and that is
the fear of disgrace. Thus, when she has been found
guilty of foeticide or infanticide, her seducer should
be held equally guilty and suffer an equal punishment
with her. The crime may have been committed
without his knowledge or in spite of his urgent pro-
test; nevertheless, his guilt should be unquestioned,
as it was possible for him in two ways to prevent its
commission: first, by abstaining from the act of seduc-
tion; secondly, having been guilty of that act, by
subsequent marriage averting that shame which drives
the woman to such an extremity. If there is any
difference between them, he is the greater culprit of
the two; in addition to his participation in the guilt
of the murder, he deliberately dooms a human being,

MARITAL RIGHTS.
129
whose greatest fault was a misplaced confidence in
him, to the depths of suffering, shame and despair,
and frequently to moral ruin.
RESPONSIBILITY OF HUSBANDS.—A husband may
be guiltless of either knowledge of or consent to such
a crime. Nevertheless, he should not be held entirely
irresponsible. I have already referred parenthetically
to a little pamphlet addressed to husbands, entitled
“Is it I?” This pamphlet treats of the degree of
guilt incurred by husbands, by a display of selfishness
and sensuality in their marital relations.
“MARITAL RIGHTS.”—I have been surprised and
astonished to find, not only among men, but among
prudence and consideration deemed necessary in a
and the woman who would question them or attempt
to limit them is considered exceedingly blamable.
Thus I have seen innocent and suffering wives made
morally responsible for the unfaithfulness of their
husbands, when that unfaithfulness ought to have
been set down as gross selfishness tending to beastly
sensuality. Neither his own sex nor the other seems
to regard a man as bound by any law of morality or
self-restraint. In his capacity of husband he con-
siders himself entitled to gratify his passions at what-
ever cost to a suffering wife. If this gratification
threatens and actually results in the death of his
victim, it is regarded as unfortunate, but something
for which he should not be blamed.

130
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
WAS IT NOT MURDER ?-A case in point: There
was a woman who had to undergo a terrible surgical
operation for the removal of an uterine tumor. The
operating surgeons assured the husband, himself a
physician, that a subsequent pregnancy would be
exceedingly dangerous and probably fatal. But this
man, in all other respects a model husband, felt him-
self under no obligation to self-restraint. In course
of time the woman became pregnant, and the sur-
geons' predictions were verified. To-day that hus-
band is living with his second wife, as honored and
as respected a member of society as though his first
wife's death did not lie at his door.
ENFORCED CHILD-BEARING.–Again, how often
do we see men, whose wives can meet the perils of
confinement only at the greatest risk to life and
health, compel them to bear children until their
health succumbs, and they either sink into helpless,
hopeless invalidism, or escape into the grave as the
only place where there is certain rest from child-bear-
ing! I was once told of such a woman--a woman
still young in years—who had already borne ten chil-
dren, only to endure the additional suffering of having
them taken away from her by death, one after another,
while they were yet infants. Every successive con-
finement her physician warned her must be the last,
as there was imminent danger that, her health already
broken, life itself would give way. But she is still
dragging a feeble existence. Surrounded by the evi-
dences of immense wealth-being denied nothing that

ENFORCED CHILD-BEARING.
131
money can buy—she yet knows nothing of physical
comfort. Her husband prides himself on his marital
fidelity to his wife.
“How much better,” said my informer, who, by
the way, was a woman of the world, with exceedingly
lax notions as to the moral obligations of men—“how
much better it would be if her husband would get a
mistress, and so allow his wife a chance to recover her
health, and know something of enjoyment in life !”
My wifely instincts were aroused at this. “Any-
thing but that!" I replied. “But how much better
if he would cease being a brute, and learn that to be
a true and affectionate husband involves sometimes
self-denial in the place of unreasoning gratification
of the passions !"
Some women are so physically constituted, or so
suffer from confirmed ill-health, that the whole period
of gestation is one of intense discomfort, and child-
bearing an almost insupportable misery. Such wo-
men, if no means of prevention are resorted to, must
live at least one-third of their lives in a state of hope-
less suffering. When we regard such a woman, and
consider how these sufferings are forced upon her, we
need not greatly wonder that she sometimes, in her
ignorance of the guilt incurred, and the risks to health
and life run, seeks to avoid these miseries by a short
cut through the door of abortion. There is no use
in saying to such a woman that if she were not willing
to endure the penalties of matrimony she ought never
to have entered within its bonds. Few unmarried

132
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
women know the full extent of these penalties; none
of them know what will be their degree in their own
individual cases. There is no man who would be
willing that his future wife should make a trial of
that state, before entering into it permanently.
“FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE.”—Marriage is some
thing irrevocable, in which husband and wife are
bound together for better or for worse. It is hardly
fair that the “better” should always be on the one
side, the “worse” on the other. Husbands should
feel themselves called upon to bear the incidental
disadvantages of marriage equally with their wives;
and if these disadvantages include restraint of the
passions, the obligation is in no way relaxed, and
infidelity no less a sin.
LIMITATION OF OFFSPRING.—Let physicians and
moralists say what they will, and let us all admit that
large families of children are even desirable when the
circumstances are favorable, there are still circum-
stances which justify-not only that, but actually
demand—a limitation of the number of offspring. A
woman's health should be an important consideration
in this matter. Surely, if there is any personal ques-
tion which an individual has a right to decide, the
woman should have a voice in the matter of child-
bearing. She has to endure the pains, penalties and
responsibilities, both before and afterward, and she
can best judge of her fitness and her powers of endur-
ance. Yet she should not decide in the negative
without grave reasons for such a decision; but when

WRONG METHODS OF LIMITATION.
133
she has made this decision, it is the extreme of cruelty
for her husband to force child-bearing upon her.
QUALITY OF POPULATION, NOT QUANTITY.–Our
population is not in such a state of depletion that
mere numbers are an object. We have plenty of
people now, such as they are. · We could do with
fewer births if the children born promised better
physical development, and were better educated and
better trained morally. A woman overburdened and
broken down by excessive child-bearing can never
give birth to as healthy children, nor can she devote
as much time to their mental and moral training, as
she ought to do.
IN WHAT MANNER SHALL THE NUMBER OF CHIL-
DREN BE LIMITED ?—But how this evil of too large
families is to be avoided is a question asked by many,
especially suffering wives. They ask their physician
during the pains and terrors of delivery, and they are
answered flippantly, if not indelicately.
WRONG METHODS OF LIMITATION.—Those who
are careful newspaper readers know that means for
accomplishing this end are widely advertised. But
these advertised means may be one and all set down
as highly deleterious to health and morals. Clearly,
abortion is not the proper method.
Incompleted sexual intercourse, so frequently re-
sorted to for this purpose, is considered a perfectly
barmless method. But there never was a more erro-
neous idea. Its effects upon the husband are precisely.
the same as self-abuse. To the wife, if she be in any
12

134
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
degree an active participant of the passion of the
moment, the results may be even more serious, includ-
ing among them inflammation and grave affections
of the uterine system, such as tumors, ulcers and the
like, It is unnecessary to explain in these pages why
this is so, though it is easily explicable. Scarcely
less injurious in its results, and at the same time not
by any means certain, is the use of cold-water injec-
tions to prevent conception.
A SAFE PREVENTIVE TO CONCEPTION.—There is
one means perfectly harmless and perfectly safe as far
as any evil results may follow-a means which will
not only secure the end, but the employment of which
will in all probability prove beneficial to both hus-
band and wife. It is a means which neither violates
physical laws nor involves moral degradation. It is,
in brief, moderation in the indulgence of sexual
desire. In each month there is a period varying
from four to eight days in duration, during which
most women are incapable of conception. This period
begins about the tenth or twelfth day after the cessa-
tion of the menses, and ends the fourth or sixth day
before their next appearance. Previous to this tenth
or twelfth day, the ovum, which is discharged from
the ovary at each monthly period, may still be in the
passages or the womb, and become impregnated upon
sexual intercourse. If intercourse be indulged in
shortly before the monthly flow, it is possible for the
male element to retain life until it meets with and
impregnates the ovary. This I believe to be a toler

PRODUCTION OF THE SEXES.
135
ably general though not universal rule. Women who
are exceptions to this general rule must accept the
inevitable, if their health is equal to continued child-
bearing. When their health will not allow of in-
creased family cares, then, I repeat, forbearance and
self-denial become the duty of their husbands. Thus
it will be seen that temperance and self-denial are the
only means by which this oftentimes most desirable
end can be attained in an honorable and unobjection-
able manner. If there are any other proper means,
I am ignorant of them.
PRODUCING THE SEXES AT WILL.—It has always
been greatly desired that there might be certain
means discovered by which the sexes could be pro-
duced at will. Various theories have been devised,
but none of them have yet fully borne the test of
trial.
FALSE THEORIES CONCERNING THE PRODUCTION
OF THE SEXES.—One of the most common beliefs
among uninformed people is that a preponderance of
either sex among the children of a family denotes
superior vitality and stronger passion in the parent
of that sex. It is scarcely necessary to say that this
belief has not one single foundation in fact. Another
theory which perhaps may have a single grain of
truth in it, but scarcely more, is that superior vitality
on the part of the father will be productive of
daughters; on the part of the mother, of sons.
LATEST THEORY IN REGARD TO THE PRODUCTION
THE SEXES.-The latest theory, and the one most

136
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
commonly accepted by enlightened medical and scien-
tific men, is stated as follows in the Philadelphia
Medical and Surgical Reporter of February 8, 1868:
“Whenever intercourse has taken place in from two
to six days after the cessation of the menses, girls
have been produced; and whenever intercourse has
taken place in from nine to twelve days after the
cessation of the menses, boys have been produced.”
A writer in the London Lancet declares that “in the
human female conception in the first half of the
time between menstrual periods produces female off-
spring, and male in the latter. When a female has
gone beyond the time she calculated upon, it will
generally turn out to be a boy.”
EVIDENCE OF SCIENCE IN REGARD TO THE PRO-
DUCTION OF THE SEXES.—This theory is founded on
well-established facts in the vegetable and animal
kingdoms. Botanists and gardeners know that in
trees and plants which are bi-sexual the earliest and
most vigorous shoots produce female blossoms; the
latest, developed when the tree is declining in vigor,
male blossoms. A similar fact concerning the propa-
gation of the sexes has been discovered by cattle- and
poultry-breeders. As a proof in support of this
theory reference is made in particular to poultry, the
earliest laid eggs of which, it is stated, produce hens,
those toward the end of the laying season, cocks.
PERSONAL OPINIONS CONCERNING THE THEORY
OF PRODUCTION OF THE SEXES.— I know it will
appear like presumption in me to differ from the most

PERSONAL OPINIONS.
137
advanced scientific and medical authorities of the day;
nevertheless, I do differ somewhat, in so far that I
believe they have grasped only half a truth, and do
not yet comprehend it in its complete significance.
First, my experience and observation as far as they
go, in cases where there was sufficient temperance in
the marital relations to ascertain the exact period of
conception without possibility of doubt, seem to dis-
prove this theory in almost every instance. Thus
much for facts, as I am conversant with them.
My reasoning is as follows: One ovum, only, passes
from the ovaries at each monthly period. If this
ovum, impregnated at an early date, produces a female
child, and, at a later date, a male child, then we must
admit a change of sex in the same ovum, which seems
scarcely likely. Again, referring to the facts which
have been discovered in poultry breeding, we find
that no egg changes its sex by a change in the time
of its fecundation. Those first laid will hatch female
chickens, those laid toward the last, when the hen's
productive powers are on the wane, will hatch male
chickens. Those eggs which would have produced
bens display, when broken, a yolk of a deep rich
vrange in color. Those which would have produced
cocks display the yolks deteriorated in color to a pale
sulphur tint. Each egg retains its sex as long as it is
capable of being hatched. The daily egg of the hen
represents the monthly ovum of the woman.
Now, is it not safe to infer that, as nature requires
the most vigorous and favorable conditions for the
12 *

138
MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
propagation of female plants and animals, she will
pursue the same course in regard to the human race ?
As a result of this inference, may we not believe that
the sexes result from special conditions rather than
from special times ? Not only does the female sex
require superior vigor and vitality in order to sustain
the heavier physical burdens which are laid upon it;
but that it does possess this superior vigor and vitality
is clearly proven by statistics which show that while
there are more male children born in the proportion
of about one hundred and six male to one hundred
female), so more of the male sex succumb to disease
during infancy. Therefore, when age, health, moral
habits and temperance in the marital relations com-
bine--or when there are a sufficient number of these
to make a favorable balance—the children of the
parents possessing this combination will be pre-
dominantly daughters. Where, from any lack of
these advantages, there is an adverse balance, sons
may be expected. I offer my theory for what it is
worth, believing that it is at least deserving of con-
sideration.
NOTE TO SECOND EDITION.-In the March number of the American Naturalist,
Mrs. Mary Treat has an article on “Controlling Sex in Butterflies.” This lady
made experiments during the summer of 1872 with the larvæ of certain butterflies
and moths, by which means she discovered that arrested development in the larva
state produced males, complete development females. I think these facts coincide
with my theory " that the sexes result from special conditions rather than from
special times.” I never met Mrs. Treat nor heard of her experiments until after
the first edition of my hook was printed.

CHAPTER VIII.
TRIALS OF THE YOUNG WIFE.
THE “MATERNAL INSTINCT.”- We are taught
that in the female nature the love of and desire for
offspring are early developed and become ruling mo-
tives in ordering the girl's life. We are told how
the little girl takes naturally to the doll, and nurses
it and pets it as a mother does her child. Those who
tell us this, see dolls in the hands of young girls, but
do not watch to see what is done with them. In the
mimic life of their plays, children represent what they
know of the world. The little girl who, from her
own experience, knows only of babyhood, naturally
makes a baby of her doll. So also will the little boy,
if you give him one. As the little girl grows older
and her experience of the world widens, her dolls are
made to play more varied parts. They represent
almost invariably grown-up men and women, who
get married, keep house, go journeys, and die; or it
may be they enact the plot of some recently read
story. They live existences totally distinct from their
young owners, who are miniature overruling provi-
dences, directing and controlling their movements.
Such, at least, I believe to be the state of the case,
139

140
TRIALS OF THE YOUNG WIFE.
judging from my own experience and observation,
both of which have been somewhat extended.
Do GIRLS LOOK FORWARD, TO BECOMING MOTH-
ERS ?-As the young girl approaches womanhood the
maternal feeling still remains undeveloped. I can
recall but two out of a wide circle of girlish acquainta
ances who, in the intimacy of friendship and in the
candor of their hearts, acknowledged that they looked
forward to motherhood with any degree of compla-
cency. The two to whom I refer confessed that they
hoped if they were ever married they would have
large families of children. One of these girls, not-
withstanding the apparent development of the mater-
nal instinct, did not possess it in sufficient strength
to impel her to matrimony, although good opportu-
nities were not wanting. She is now on the wrong
side of thirty, leading a contented and happy single
life, without so much as a cat, dog or bird to utilize
her wasted maternal instincts.
No doubt many, in consternation, will declare that
this apparent lack of the maternal instinct is both
unnatural and shameful, and will cry out against the
degeneracy of American girls. But it is not degen-
eracy; it is the natural state of things. Girlhood is
not the period of life in which it is necessary that the
• maternal instinct should be developed. Wifehood
should come before motherhood. It is sufficient that
instinct leads young women to assume the duties
of the former without thinking greatly about the
latter.

DEDUCTIONS WHICH GIRLS DRAW.
141
TENDENCY OF THE EDUCATION OF GIRLS.—More-
over, the whole tendency of the education of girls
aside from a few platitudes about their being the
future mothers of the nation, addressed to them on
stated ceremonial occasions—is against the idea that
motherhood is desirable, or that it is their duty to fit
themselves for it. They are usually excused if not
excluded from the study of physiology, particularly
in the special parts of it which they most need to
know; books which might be of use to them are kept
out of their sight; mothers are silent; and certain
knowledge which is of the utmost importance is
withheld on the score of its impropriety. Still
further, if it were the desire and intention of those
who have control over them to unfit them physically
for the duties of maternity, their dress from infancy
up could not be better devised than it is to accom-
plish that purpose.
DEDUCTIONS WHICH GIRLS DRAW FROM OBSER-
VATION.—Meanwhile, girls are neither blind nor deaf.
They see the physical suffering and wretchedness, the
weariness and never-ending toil of the mother. They
see the young wife lose her beauty, youth and spright-
liness in the nursery, and come forth, after a few years'
seclusion, a wan, worn, faded, listless woman, dwarfed.
in intellect and old before her time. They do not
know how much of this suffering can be avoided;
how much of this toil is needless; and that this loss
of youth and vitality is unnecessary. How few wo-
men do! They do not know—they cannot know-of

TRIALS OF THE YOUNG WIFE.
undoubted fact that as yet there have been aroused
no maternal beatings in their own hearts, it is no
wonder that so many young wives are unwilling
mothers.
YOUNG WIVES DO NOT ALWAYS WISH FOR CHIL-
DREN.—The young girl marries, and is expected to
assume the gravest and most important duties and
functions of life with a knowledge almost equaled
by that of a baby, and a thoughtlessness such as
might attend the preparations for a ball. As she
takes upon herself the vows of a wife, the thought of
children assumes the form of an undefined dread, of
a possibly impending evil, which she confidently be-
lieves she shall, after all, in some inscrutable manner
escape. A pretty little innocent baby of a wife and
mother once told me with delightful naiveté that on
her marriage night she prayed as earnestly as ever
she could that she might never have any children,
but in less than a year her baby was born, and from
that fact she concluded that there was no use in
praying.
JOB'S COMFORTERS. Of course the young wife's
hopes prove delusive. It is not long before she finds
herself in a condition soon to become a mother. If
she has any fears and terrors at the prospect, they are
in no way lessened by every woman to whom she
reveals her condition exclaiming, “I am so sorry for
you! Now your trouble begins. If I were in your
place, I should feel like jumping into the river."

A HUSBAND'S CONSOLATIONS.
143
There is not one woman in ten who has any more
consoling remarks than these to offer on such an
occasion.
DISMAL FOREBODINGS.—I pity the young wife
most sincerely at this period; for it is the most pitiful
of her whole existence. She is forced to turn her
back on the life she has hitherto led, with all its well-
known pleasures and compensations; while suddenly
all the brightness vanishes which had made the future
so attractive. She sees before her an entirely new
life, about which she knows nothing—about which
she hears nothing but lamentations; on whose thresh-
old she experiences unparalleled wretchedness; and
to fully enter which she knows she must pass through
the gateway of pain down to the very portal of death.
It is all darkness, and she gropes weariedly without a
guide to direct her to the light.
A HUSBAND'S CONSOLATIONS.—It is not unlikely
her husband seems heartless, though I believe this
apparent heartlessness should often be set down to
thoughtlessness and ignorance. He sees his wife
despondent at what he knows to be the common lot
of women. He cannot realize her sufferings nor
enter into her feelings. “What else did she look for?
Didn't she expect to have children when she married ?
She isn't suffering any more than other women have
to; so what is the use of making a fuss? It is all
in the course of nature.” In short, he agrees with
the man (or was it a woman ?) who thought that eels
ought to get used to being skinned. This is poor

144
TRIALS OF THE YOUNG WIFE.
comfort to the suffering, perhaps terror-stricken, girl,
and it wounds deeply; for where she looks for sym-
pathy and help, she finds what seems to her unfeel-
ing heartlessness. She certainly did not look forward
to having children when she married, for she thought
nothing at all about it; and if every woman in the
universe were suffering the same as she, it would not
make her individual distress the less intense.
LACK OF A WISE AND JUDICIOUS FRIEND.--There
is no kind woman to take the frightened, ailing girl
sympathizingly in her arms and tell her that she has
no cause for sorrow and regret; to talk to her sensi-
bly and wisely about the means of mitigating or
altogether avoiding her physical sufferings; to tell
her of the mother-love that will spring up in her
heart when the time shall come for its exercise-a
love which shall so far surpass all others that the
pains which precede it will seem light-a love now
budding and ready to burst into bloom if it were not
chilled and kept back by untoward circumstances; to
from a wise motherhood; to paint the beauty of the
family institution, and the delight to be found in a
full family circle bound together by ties of affection;
to describe the loneliness and desolation of a house
which has never echoed to the voices and footsteps of
children, and in which the husband and wife sit like
monarchs without subjects; to depict in glowing lan-
guage a perfect home filled with healthful, well-
developed children and presided over by wise and

BAD COUNSEL AND ITS RESULTS.
145
loving parents; and to impress upon her mind that
upon herself rests a large measure of the responsibility
whether her home shall be such as this; for such as
she wills it she can make it. There is no one to talk
thus until cheerfulness, and hope, and courage shall
have taken the place of despondency; and then to
indicate how much the fulfillment of this bright pic-
ture depends upon herself at the present time; how,
if she would have loving children, she must love
them even before their birth; how, if she would have
them happy and peaceful and quiet, giving no trouble
as babies, and developing good dispositions as they
grow older, she must keep herself serene and hopeful
and even-tempered now; to assure her that there
must be no repining, unless she wants a fretful babe;
that there must be no giving way to selfish, passionate
or morbid impulses, unless she wishes to see the trait
reflected afterward in the character of her child; and
to impress upon her that this course of conduct is
doubly a duty, inasmuch as it will result in her pres-
ent happiness, while at the same time she is holding
in her absolute keeping, for a short period, the cha-
racter, the happiness—in brief, the whole future of
a human being
BAD COUNSEL AND ITS RESULTS.—What young
wife was ever talked to in this manner? What
young wife, previous to the birth of her first child,
has any opportunity for searching out these truths for
herself? From the first her condition is pitied by
women, and her ill-feelings under-estimated by men.
13
K

146
TRIALS OF THE YOUNG WIFE.
She has drugs recommended to her to cure the nausea
which is one of the earliest symptoms of pregnancy.
She is told that she must eat when her stomach
loathes food; not only that she must eat, but that she
must eat more than usual of strong, hearty food, “ to
keep up her strength,” and “ to supply nutriment for
two.” She must not lift; she must not run; in fact,
must deprive herself of all her usual modes of exer-
cisé, for fear of untoward results. She is taught that
every passing whim must be gratified at a cost of
whatever inconvenience to others. Presently it is
hinted that it is no longer proper for her to appear in
public, so she stays at home a close prisoner, only
venturing out at long intervals when necessity com-
pels. From being a prisoner to the house, she is
likely to become a prisoner to her room. If she goes
up and down a flight of stairs once during the day, it
will be an event worth mentioning. If circumstances
oblige her to engage in household occupations and
there are probably more working wives than idle ones
—she goes about them with great difficulty and pain,
grasping at support when it is within reach, and
suffering torments of which the spectators have no
suspicion. Her personal appearance certainly be-
comes such that one cannot wonder at her hesitation
at making a public display of herself.
7 No WAY OF ESCAPE.—So the last day comes
sound, bringing with it a sense of helplessness and
dread such as no one who has not experienced it can
know anything about. “If there was only any way

MITIGATING THE PAINS OF CHILD-BED. 147
of escape !” is the constant tenor of her thoughts.
But the circle of pain closes around her.
"A VERY BAD TIME.”—She has a “very bad
time,” and possibly the attendant physician finds it
necessary to make use of instruments. She comes
back to life from almost the very jaws of death to
remain a close prisoner in her room, if not in her bed,
for weeks. At last she issues forth—because no
injunction of either friend or physician can longer
keep her there—pale and tottering, suffering weak-
ness that nearly bows her to the earth, and pains in
the back and elsewhere almost too acute to be borne.
Have I painted the picture in too vivid colors for
truth ? Ask any young wife about her first experi-
ence, and see if she does not verify my statements.
FEELINGS AFTER A FIRST CONFINEMENT.—The
agony of my own first confinement I shall never
forget. For years afterward I could not hear of a
friend or acquaintance as being in a condition liable
to pass through a similar experience without a
shudder, and a thought that I would rather hear of
her impending execution, in which case the suffering
could not possibly be more intense, and would cere
tainly be far briefer.
POSSIBILITY OF MITIGATING THE PAINS OF
CHILD-BED.—I have since learned that, though it is
probably natural that there should be more or less
pain at child-birth, this pain may be so mitigated in
various ways as to be looked forward to with little
dread.

148
TRIALS OF THE YOUNG WIFE.
MISERIES OF THE SICK-ROOM.—I have not den
scribed the prolonged tortures of the sick-bed; the
head that aches to bursting as soon as it touches the
pillow, and yet is so weak that it cannot be lifted from
it more than a moment at a time. I have as yet said
nothing about the nauseous medicines and their
dreadful results; the sickening invalid messes that
one is expected to eat; the dread and dislike of the
monthly nurse; the worry of having all one's pre-
conceived ideas and intentions regarding the dress
and management of one's babe set aside by those who,
by virtue of their superior years, set up for superior
wisdom. Elderly people certainly ought to be wise,
but it does not follow that they always are. Besides,
a mother has certain rights which should be in violable,
even though she be but young. Then there is some-
times the seeming neglect of a thoughtless husband,
who, finding a sick-room a tiresome place, and having
no comprehension of the yearning of his forlorn
young wife for his care and companionship, vi its her
but seldom, and then only for short periods.

CHAPTER IX.
CHILD-BEARING.
SYMPTOMS OF PREGNANCY.—The woman who is
already a mother is seldom in any doubt about her
condition when she becomes pregnant. There are
certain signs and feelings, peculiar to herself, perhaps,
which she cannot mistake. But the young wife, lack-
ing this experience, may not always know whether
she be pregnant or not.
CESSATION OF THE MENSES.—The first symptom
of pregnancy is generally a cessation of the menses.
In rare instances these may continue for a month or
two after pregnancy has taken place. In still rarer
cases they may continue through the whole period
until delivery. The menses may disappear without
any sign whatever; or they may seem to attempt to
come on with all the usual symptoms, and with per-
haps more than ordinary pain. Before they have
made their appearance the woman will, perhaps, be
seized with a severe chill. The non-appearance of
her monthly courses she will be very apt to attribute
to the chill, and will very naturally be led to resort
to simple measures in order to restore the suspended
menses.
13 %
149

150
CHILD-BEARING.
NAUSEA.--A few days will probably undeceive
her. She will soon be seized with that nausea called
morning sickness, which is the usual accompaniment
of pregnancy. It is possible that this nausea may
have been already felt; or it may still delay in mak.
ing its appearance for a few weeks.
ENLARGEMENT OF THE BREASTS.—The next symp-
toms will probably be darting pains through, and
enlargement of, the breasts. These symptoms are not
always present. Sometimes there is little change and
no unpleasant sensations in the breasts during the
whole period of gestation. The nipples and the circle
around them become darker, the former more enlarged
and more prominent, and little excrescences will pre-
sent themselves on the surface of both.
QUICKENING.–The next probable symptom in the
course of nature is quickening, the word by which we
distinguish the first perceptible motion of the embryo.
PERIOD OF QUICKENING.—Physicians calculate the
time of quickening—that is, the time when motion is
first felt—to be about the middle of the period of
gestation, though they allow that it may occur a few
weeks either earlier or later. There is, indeed, no
definite time. It is sometimes felt at the end of three
months and again it has been delayed until the sixth
month.
SENSATIONS OF QUICKENING.—The first motion
felt is described by medical authorities as a fluttering
like that of a bird. This is not so. The first motion
which may be felt is so slight as to be passed unnoticed

SYMPTOMS OF PREGNANCY.
151
by the one feeling it for the first time. It is like a
gentle tap, perhaps occurring but once, or, it may be,
repeated at short intervals. The "fluttering” motion
only comes after the foetus has acquired considerable
strength and muscular power.
ENLARGEMENT OF THE ABDOMEN.–At or about
the beginning of the fourth month the womb rises
above the rim of the pelvis, and then there begins a
perceptible enlargement of the abdomen. There is
no mistaking the form and feeling of the enlarged
womb. The hand pressed upon the abdomen en-
counters a hard unyielding object which cannot be
grasped. An accumulation of fat can be readily
detected, as it can be grasped in the hand and its
actual thickness measured.
FLATULENCE MISTAKEN FOR PREGNANCY.There
have been cases reported in which flatulence has been
mistaken for pregnancy. Flatulency will cause the
abdomen to be at one time hard and drum-like, and
at another soft and yielding. In pregnancy it is
invariably hard, solid and firm to the touch.
APPEARANCE OF THE NAVEL IN PREGNANCY.
In the early stages of pregnancy the navel is slightly
depressed. As the pregnancy advances it gradually
OTHER SYMPTOMS OF PREGNANCY.—There are
other accompaniments of pregnancy which may or
may not be present. These are cramps, swelled feet,
varicose veins, fainting fits, hysteria, longings, tooth-
ache and moth or blotches on the face.

152
CHILD-BIRTH.
THESE SYMPTOMS TO BE CONSIDERF - 16 Dis-
ORDERS.—Some women may experience only a portion
of these last-mentioned symptoms; others may have
them all; while still others may be entirely free from
them. I believe these should all be considered as
diseases or evidences of disorder which, in a perfect
state of health, will never show themselves.
DURATION OF PREGNANCY.—The usual duration
of pregnancy is about two hundred and eighty days.
Delivery may sometimes occur a few days earlier or a
few days or weeks later. I have known of its being
delayed until the three hundredth day after concep-
tion. The child in this case weighed nearly eleven
pounds, and presented, not only in size, but in
strength and use of faculties, the appearance of a
month-old babe. So it was not retarded development
which delayed his birth. The laws of France recog-
nize a child as legitimate whose birth dates within
three hundred days from the death or absence of the
husband. It does not deny the possibility of the
time being longer, but allows it to be a matter for
litigation. Physicians give what they consider well-
attested cases of births not taking place until some
weeks even after this period; but these cases are
exceedingly rare.
RULE FOR CALCULATING TIME OF DELIVERY.-
The best and safest rule for calculating a confinement
is to count thirty-nine weeks from the time of the
last menstrual flow. It will commonly take place at
the end of the thirty-ninth or fortieth week.

ABORTION, OR MISCARRIAGE.
153
DELIVERY BEFORE THE PROPER TIME.---If de
livery takes place before the thirty-ninth week, it is
called premature. If at less than the eighth month,
it is miscarriage. A prematurely delivered child is
not so liable to live as one who goes its full term,
though it is not uncommon for seven months' children
to survive. Life is even possible when delivery takes
place at the end of six months, though such cases are
rare.
I know a woman now full-grown and fully-de-
veloped who was born at six months. She was so
exceedingly small at birth that a finger-ring would
easily pass over her arm up to her shoulder. She
was too small to be dressed, and lay wrapped in cotton
wool until she had completed the third month of her
life, or what would have been the full term of de-
livery. Up to this period she took as food but a
single drop of milk at a time. After this period she
became in size and appearance like an ordinary new-
born infant, and was dressed and fed as such. I have
never personally known of a case of birth at an
earlier date than this, but I have read of a man who
was born at five months and lived to reach an extreme
and healthy old age. When birth takes place at but
a short period before the proper time, it is considered
the same as regular delivery, though its dangers are
somewhat increased.
ABORTION, OR MISCARRIAGE.—Abortion, or mis-
carriage, is usually attended with far more dangers
than regular delivery. It is possible that abortion

154
CHILD-BIRTH.
may occur at the end of the first or second month
with little inconvenience to or even without the know-
ledge of the woman. There will be a profuse and
prolonged menstrual flow, with some slight appearance
of clots, which occasion little surprise and no alarm.
Nevertheless, though the immediate trouble is slight,
the occurrence should be considered disastrous in the
extreme. For, abortion having once occurred, it is
likely to occur again at the same period, and the
woman may never be able to complete her full term.
CAUSES OF ABORTION.—The causes of abortion are
manifold. They may be either of a physical or a
mental nature. A woman who, previous to marriage,
has been injudicious in her habits of living and dress-
ing, and who has thus failed to establish the menstrual
flow with regularity and freedom from pain, is more
liable to miscarriage than one whose physical health
is perfect.
Too severe physical exertion, running, lifting, sud-
den and excessive joy or sorrow—all of which a
healthy woman ought to endure in perfect safety-
will be sufficient to bring on abortion. A fall or blow
sometimes produces the same result.
Women of strong passions, and those who indulge
too frequently in marital pleasures, are more liable to
abortions than others. Sometimes the same effect is
produced by a like character and course of conduct
on the husband's part, when the wife herself is blame-
less.
Excessive straining at stool, or severe and prolonged

FLOODING IN ABORTION.
155
coughing, will occasionally produce the like result in
those who are predisposed to this difficulty. A too
idle and luxurious life, and one too laborious, are about
equally capable of causing abortion.
DANGERS OF ABORTION.—The dangers of abortion
are greater far than those of mature delivery. There
is the danger that the whole of the foetus or the after-
birth may not pass away. A small portion remaining
in the womb may bring much suffering, and even
death, to the woman. Then, as nature is not ready
for the act of delivery, she has made no preparations
for it. The placenta or after-birth is connected with
the womb by means of numerous minute blood vessels.
When the term of gestation is complete, these sepa-
rate of themselves from their points of adhesion, and
the loss of blood is small. But in abortion these are
forcibly torn away, leaving a myriad bleeding aper-
tures; and thus severe and dangerous flooding is
likely to ensue.
FLOODING IN ABORTION.-Flooding is indeed the
greatest danger attending abortion. The patient is
liable to it for weeks, and even months, after she
thinks she has recovered her health and strength
For this reason she ought to retain her bed longer
than after delivery at full term, in order to give the
ruptured membranes time to heal. Upon the first
symptoms of flooding the patient should lie down
with the hips raised, and preserve the utmost quiet,
and external applications of cold water should be
made until the flooding is checked. If it does not

156
CHILD-BIRTH.
show signs of stopping, a doctor should be at once
sent for, or the patient may bleed to death.
NECESSITY FOR A PHYSICIAN IN ABORTION.---The
presence of a physician is far more necessary in case
of an abortion than in a regular delivery. The latter
is an act of nature; and if there be nothing abnormal
in the case, a woman of ordinary intelligence is per-
fectly competent to see it safely through. But abor-
tion is not a natural act, and no one but an experi-
enced physician can foresee and provide for its
dangers.
SIGNS OF THREATENED ABORTION.—The first
sign of a threatened abortion is generally a flow of
blood. As soon as this appears the patient must take
to her bed and remain quiet. It is possible that this
symptom may pass away without any unfavorable
result. If, however, the flow of blood increases, and
there are pains similar to labor pains, a doctor must
be sent for. He will ascertain whether the foetus be
alive or dead. All information which the woman
can give in regard to any circumstance which might
possibly result in the death of the unborn child ought
to be fully communicated. If the child is living, it
is still possible, by the employment of proper means,
to avert the abortion. But if it be dead, there is but
one inevitable result, and it is the physician's busi-
ness to make this as speedy and as safe as possible.
Abortion will usually take place at about the ninth
day after the death of the foetus, though there are
cases on record where the dead foetus has been retained

TO PREVENT RECURRENCE OF ABORTION. 157
for months before its expulsion. It is imperatively
necessary that all the discharges of the patient and
all the clotho used about her person should be sub-
jected to the inspection of the physician, as he alone
is qualified to judge of the nature of these discharges,
and to know when the abortion is complete. An
attendant may mistake a simple clot of blood as a
portion of the after-birth or of the decomposed foetus,
and from this mistake serious consequences may ensue.
To PREVENT RECURRENCE OF ABORTION.—As it
is greatly to be desired that abortion should not
become a habit, which it has a tendency to do, every
means should be taken to prevent it. First of all, the
for three months after its occurrence, that she may
fully recovered from the shock to her physical system,
which even the most painless abortion proves to be.
Then, when the woman becomes again pregnant,
sexual intercourse should not be indulged in until
after the time at which abortion took place on the
previous occasion. The cause of that abortion, if it
was ascertained, should be carefully avoided, and the
woman should, besides, be careful of all her habits of
life, living plainly and sparingly, and, though in-
dulging in moderate exercise, avoiding over-exertion.
The greatest danger is at the period in pregnancy
when the previous abortion took place. When that
is safely passed, there is tolerable reason for hope that
she will go safely to the end of her time.

CHAPTER Х.
THE DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY, AND THEIR
REMEDIES.
NAUSEA, OR “MORNING-SICKNESS.”–Usually the
first symptom of pregnancy is nausea, commonly
called "morning-sickness.” Why it should ever
have received this latter name is more than I have
been able to determine. Nausea is liable to be felt
by a pregnant woman at any and all hours of the
day and night. It may come immediately upon
waking, or it may delay its appearance until the exer-
tion of rising and dressing. Again, it may assume
its worst features after retirement at night. It may
come on upon the least activity and be allayed by
positive quiet. Or, on the contrary, it may be scarcely
felt while the woman is actively employed, and return
in full force as soon as, from weariness, she feels im-
pelled to lie down to rest. I knew a woman who
experienced the latter phase of the disorder. She
felt tolerably well while upon her feet, or even while
busy at work in a sitting posture. But the moment
she attempted to lie down in the daytime, the dreaded
nausea seized her, and she was forced to arise at once.
No matter how weary she was, it seemed as though
she was not to be allowed a moment's rest.
158

NAUSEA AGGRAVATED BY FOOD.
159
NAUSEA AGGRAVATED BY THE SIGHT OF FOOD.-
There are as many phases of this complaint as there
are individuals, and each one's experience frequently
differs at different times. There is one symptom
which all exhibit in a greater or less degree, and that
is that the nausea is greatly aggravated at the sight
and smell of food. Sometimes it is only special
articles which excite this disgust and sickness. I
think all workingwomen who have become mothers
will testify that their greatest, most unendurable
sufferings were whilst preparing the family meals.
I wonder that those physicians who have claimed
to give the matter attention, and have propounded
such wise theories to the world regarding what women
can and what they cannot do at such times, do not
leave their theorizing for a brief time, and deal with
absolute facts. They would soon find ample reason
to declare that, when in a certain condition, women
should be exempt from all household labor, as it
tends to greatly aggravate their sufferings. There is
no denying this. I am not prepared to suggest any
better manner of conducting domestic affairs than the
present one; still, it is an incontrovertible fact that
there is scarcely any department of active housekeep-
ing which does not only aggravate the sufferings of a
pregnant woman, but is actually injurious to her in
a greater or less degree. Yet many physicians who
have made their views public persist in condemning
women more closely than ever at such times to a
round of domestic duties, and declare them to be

160
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
totally unfit, both physically and mentally, for occu-
pation of other than a domestic character.
DUTY OF A HUSBAND TO ASSIST HIS WIFE.--As
I have already said, I do not propose to take women
out of the kitchen, so long as I can suggest no efficient
substitute for them there. But if a husband expects
his wife to bear her burden patiently, and even cheer-
fully, he must not shrink from his, which is, in this
case, to lighten hers as much as possible. If his
means permit, he should engage her ample help in
the kitchen, so that when her comfort requires it she
can keep clear of its sights and smells. If he cannot
do this, then he should not hesitate to help her him-
self, so far as he is competent and his business will
allow. Even if he is a mechanic, and goes to and
from his work at stated hours, there is nothing to
prevent him from doing many a little thing to lighten
his wife's cares and sufferings. Instead of disgrace
attaching to him from this, as most men seem to feel
there does, it will redound greatly to his credit and
honor.
I have known men who, during their wives' sick-
ness, in addition to their own work, took the whole
round of household duties into their hands and per-
formed it well, and, what was most remarkable, with
extreme neatness. And these men lost nothing in
their wives' esteem. I never saw husbands more
loved, honored and revered-love, honor and rever-
ence which I thought they well deserved.
“OUT OF HER SPHERE.”—I can tell a story of a

"MORNING-SICKNESS” AND SEA-SICKNESS. 161
inan who, to help a sick wife, undertook to do a
He began his work at six o'clock in the evening. At
nine the clothes were all in the last rinse, the boiler,
tubs and all the paraphernalia of washing put away,
and the rug which had been spread down on the
carpeted floor to preserve the latter from slops show-
ing not the slightest trace of wet. The washing
would have been a good day's job for a poor woman
to do, and would have utterly exhausted her; while our
washerman felt none the worse for wear. I have felt
convinced ever since that whenever a woman occupies
the wash-tub she is encroaching upon man's sphere,
as he can do a washing quite as well as she, and so
much more expeditiously, neatly and easily.
It is the Rev. Thomas K. Beecher, I believe, who
says a boy's education is never completed until he has
been instructed in the rudiments of housework and
sewing; nor a girl's until she knows how to harness
a horse, and use carpenters' and gardeners' tools with
ease and dexterity, with which I fully agree, if it
were only for the purpose of rendering each sex more
helpful to the other in time of need.
SIMILARITY OF “MORNING-SICKNESS” TO SEA-
SICKNESS.—I think few men have any realizing idea
of the sufferings of this so-called “morning-sickness.”
All who have suffered from sea-sickness unite in
bearing testimony that it is most dreadful. Now, the
sickness of a pregnant woman is similar in many
14

162
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
felt both, and I think, if the choice were left me,
I should prefer the latter to a severe attack of the
former, as being of shorter duration, while “morning-
sickness” may remain for months, perhaps until the
very hour of confinement.
DESCRIPTION OF NAUSEA.—Let men imagine what
their sufferings would be, if forced, during an attack
of sea-sickness, to prepare a meal three times a day
for healthy, hearty appetites, the owners of which
expected to see upon the table a variety of food the
very sight and smell of which would send them to
the door every few moments, gagging and straining
until the blood seemed bursting from eyes, ears and
nose! But this is no more than prospective mothers
daily suffer, and too often the best word of comfort
for them is that they “ought not to mind it, for it is
all in the order of nature.” Poor comfort indeed to
the miserable woman, who, in her despondency, often
feels that death itself would be welcomed as a relief
to her present discomfort !
NAUSEA MAY BE RELIEVED.—But I have not
dwelt thus at length upon the suffering produced by
nausea, without having, as I confidently believe, some
suggestions to offer for its amelioration at least, if not
for its perfect cure. No suffering woman need go to
a doctor expecting to find relief. I never saw a doctor
yet who knew of a cure, or even seemed to care to
find one. Knowing it is not a dangerous symptom,
doctors regard it in the spirit of philosophy, and
advise women to do the same, telling them that "it

PLETHORA AND NAUSEA. . 163
cannot be helped,” and that “it won't last for ever."
It is so easy to endure the sufferings of another! At
the most, they will prescribe drugs, which, to the
best of my belief, never do any good.
NAUSEA CONSIDERED A FAVORABLE SYMPTOM IN
PREGNANCY.-I have found that medical men almost
invariably agree in considering this so-called “morn-
ing-sickness” as a desirable symptom in pregnancy;
and one authority which I have consulted on the
subject goes so far as to declare that in cases where it
is absent it is imperatively necessary to take measures
to bring it on, or miscarriage or a dangerous delivery
will be the probable result. He quotes in support of
his assertion the old proverb, that “a sick pregnancy
is a safe one."
DANGERS OF PLETHORA.—Plethora seems some-
thing much dreaded by physicians, and they look
upon a disordered stomach as a safety-valve through
which escapes the surplus nourishment, which would
otherwise produce plethora. If the woman, however,
along with the sickness, does not possess the power of
relieving her stomach by vomiting, I do not see where
the good is in the sickness, unless we look to indiges--
tion and consequent lack of assimilation as a door of
escape from the threatened danger.
CAN PLETHORA AND NAUSEA BOTH BE AVOIDED ?
--Is it not possible to avoid this dreaded plethora
and its train of serious evils in a manner which shali
at the same time render the dreadful nausea unneces-
sary? As a woman who knows what she says, and

164
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
bases her statement upon no theory, but upon actual
indisputable facts, and who is ready to argue the
question with any number of doubting physicians, I
reply, most certainly there is—a way so safe, so sim-
ple, so easy, that it is a wonder men, understanding
the entire pathology of pregnancy, have not already
seen and comprehended it.
I find in a work published nearly fifty years ago-a
work which is even yet accepted as authority by
medical men, for its sterling common sense if not for
its therapeutics—that the author, one of the most cele-
brated and advanced physicians of his day, actually
stumbles upon the truth, yet does not see it.*
*“The disturbances excited by the impregnated uterus in
other portions of the body, in general have but one tendency--
namely, to prevent plethora. This is chiefly effected through the
agency of the stomach; the part which is most generally and
most extensively involved in this kind of obedience. Hence,
nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, disgusts or loathings, or long
ing for certain innutritious substances, etc. These affections are
evidently instituted with a view to diminish the quantity of cir-
culating fluids; and thus to prevent the evils which are sure to
attend that condition of the system called plethora.”—Treatise on
the Diseases of Females, by Wm. P. Dewees, M. D.
The same volume gives an account of a lady, subject to abor-
tion, who could tell whether she would carry her child or not by
the state of her stomach. If she had nausea and loss of appetite,
she took "no extraordinary trouble to regulate the condition of
her system,” for she would go her full time. If these symptoms
were lacking, abortion was sure to occur unless she took measures
Jo prevent it. These measures were the reduction of the ordinary
quantity and quality of her food, the rejection of all drinks but
water, scrupulous attention to the state of her bowels, etc. The
doctor fails, or seems to fail to see the deduction which can be

HEALTH REQUISITE IN PREGNANCY.
165
IS PREGNANCY A STATE OF DISEASE OR OF
HEALTH ? — The first thing to be considered is
whether pregnancy is a natural and healthy state or a
state of disease. It seems an insult to nature and to
the Creator to imagine that pregnancy was ever
intended to be a sickness. It is the legitimate result
of a law ordained by nature. If all the conditions
are favorable, it ought to be attended with little or no
inconvenience. I believe it is safe to declare that all
its evil accompaniments are the result, not of direct
laws of nature, but of violations of natural law,
False states of society, false modes of dress, false
habits of life, etc., all contribute to bring suffering
at this time, much of which is undoubtedly the result
of a wise and kindly ordering of Nature by which she
averts more disastrous results. For instance, with
these false habits, if it were not for the nausea and
vomiting which reduce the system and limit the
amount of nutriment supplied to it, the plethoric con-
dition which would follow would most certainly result
in abortion or in a dangerous and possibly fatal de-
livery.
PERFECT HEALTH REQUISITE IN PREGNANCY.-
When pregnancy takes place, the sudden activity of
hitherto dormant organs demands a corresponding and
sympathetic activity in all the other organs of the
body. If any of these organs fail to do their proper
duty regularly and efficiently, the whole system be-
correctly drawn from these two facts, and which holds the secret
that can turn a sick pregnancy into one of perfect comfort.

166
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
comes deranged. Thus, while the bile is continually
secreted by the blood, if the liver is slow in perform-
ing its functions, the bowels will become constipated
and the stomach deranged. Whatever in the way of
diet or habits tends to increase this secretion and re-
tard its discharge through the proper channels will,
of course, augment this derangement and increase the
inconvenience which the patient experiences. Conse-
quently, whatever produces a healthy activity of the
liver will keep the bowels properly open and relieve
the oppression of the stomach.
CONDITION OF BLOOD IN PREGNANCY. — Phy-
sicians tell us that the blood of a pregnant woman,
after standing a short time, usually presents a white
or yellowish coat of coagulating lymph upon the
surface, the same as or similar to that found in cases
of inflammation. This shows a tendency in pregnancy
toward a febrile state; hence, the mode of life which
will counteract this tendency will conduce most surely
to a condition of health and comfort. I cannot be-
lieve that this symptom of inflammation in the blood
is a natural and healthful one. I am convinced that
it is, like nausea and the other attendant ills of preg-
nancy, the result of violations of the laws of nature.
REMEDIES FOR “MORNING-SICKNESS.”—There is
neither variety nor efficacy in the remedies usually
proposed for morning-sickness. Some authorities
pass it over as of too slight importance to require
any attempt at alleviation, and even go so far as to
recommend that means should be taken, if it is ab-

EXERCISE A PREVENTIVE OF NAUSEA.
167
sent, to bring it on. I lose my patience here, and
only wish that such writers might have an attack of
it from four to nine months in duration. I think
after such an event they would view it in a different
light. One of the most common remedies suggested
is a cup of strong coffee before rising in the morning.
But if the woman is herself the only cook of the es-
tablishment, as is not infrequently the case, how is
she to obtain this cup of coffee before rising ? Equally
absurd is it to recommend that she shall take a slight
breakfast at the same period preparatory to her usual
meal. There is one fault which writers on all sub-
jects are prone to commit. When they write, they
have only in view the needs and the abilities of the
wealthy. They entirely ignore the laboring classma
class in this country as large at least, and as intelli-
gent, as respectable and as worthy of consideration, as
any other.
HEALTHFUL PREGNANCY.--The advice which I
would give a pregnant woman is far different from
that usually bestowed, and so catholic in its character
that women of all stations and ranks in life can bene-
fit by it if they will. There is no necessity for sick-
ness or inconvenience during pregnancy. A woman
may be as well, as happy and as capable in the exer-
cise of all her faculties at that time as at any other.
She not only may be, but she ought to be; and she is
receiving the punishment due to ignorance, indolence
and want of self-control if she is not.
EXERCISE A PREVENTIVE OF NAUSEA.-If a wo-

168
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
man's life has previously been a sedentary one, when
she finds herself pregnant, let her change it to one of
activity. Let no regard be paid to medical authorities
which prescribe more than ordinary quiet. I would
not advise violent exertion which might result dis-
astrously; but an exercise which shall stimulate every
organ of the body to vigorous and healthful action.
If the woman's daily duties seem to prevent this,
then it is best to let them go neglected. Her present
health and comfort and the health of her future child
are of more importance than the usual domestic duties
which employ a woman's attention, let writers on do-
mestic affairs say what they may.
ADVANTAGES OF OUT-DOOR WORK.--Let the wo-
man take time, if she never did it before, to cultivate
a flower, vegetable or fruit garden. If she finds the
actual labor too much for her strength,—and, if she
is not already accustomed to it, it may be, let her
have her garden all the same, and detail husband,
hired man or boy to do the spading, hoeing and rak-
ing, while she stands or sits by to give it her constant
supervision. She must not go into the house, con-
tent in leaving her garden to progress in her absence.
We do not care about the garden itself; it is the wo-
man's health that needs cultivating. If she neglects
her out-door work, she is a loser in two ways. One
way I have already stated, the aim being to bring the
system to a condition in which the dreaded nausea
shall be no longer a necessity; and every breath of
fresh air she breathes, and every bit of out-of-doors

SLEEP REQUIRED IN PREGNANCY.
169
play-work she does, is a help to her. The other way
I shall describe in a future chapter.
She must take as long walks as her strength will
allow, and ride as often as circumstances will permit.
A little wholesome neglect of her house, and all the
duties and objects which it contains, will be found the
very best thing in the world for her health. It may
require a little effort to make the extra exertion I sug-
gest; and it may at first be attended by disagreeable
feelings; but the result will be certain to be a good
one.
INDOLENT FEELING DURING PREGNANCY.-I be-
lieve one of the most common symptoms during preg-
nancy is a disinclination for exertion—a positively
lazy feeling, for which one can assign no direct cause.
This feeling should be yielded to so far as to allow
the woman to take more rest than usual.
· AMOUNT OF SLEEP REQUIRED IN PREGNANCY.-
A woman in a pregnant condition needs more sleep
than in ordinary health. Whatever she may believe
in regard to early rising usually, she should now feel
no scruples at lying in bed in the morning until a
reasonably late hour if she is so inclined. It is use-
less to mention any hour as a proper time at which
she should rise; for what would be an extremely late
one for some women would be extremely early for
others. The only practical rule is that, if her duties
permit, she should allow her morning sleep to con-
tinue undisturbed until she wakens rested and re-
freshed. I am not an advocate for mid-day naps for
15

170
• DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
persons ordinarily. People who indulge in them lose
the heart out of the day, while they are surprised that
they “never find time to accomplish anything." But
the pregnant woman will feel better and stronger if
she can devote a half hour or hour of each afternoon
to sleep. Exercise she must-exercise if possible
more than usual; and she needs a corresponding
amount of repose. Aside from the prescribed hours
of rest, the indolent feeling should be battled against
and overcome by the extra exertion I have already
described.
DIET OF A PREGNANT WOMAN.—And now I
come to the consideration of diet, which is a subject
still more important. No woman should allow her-
self to be persuaded or compelled by any one who
claims to have a right to influence her—on no better
ground perhaps than that of having had a large num-
ber of children, and having gone through with dread-
ful sicknesses and dangerous confinements with them
all, and “so, of course, knows all about it”--to eat
more than the stomach calls for; to eat at all even if
she does not feel so inclined, or to eat anything for
which an aversion is felt, on the supposition that the
strength must be kept up by strong, hearty food.
APPETITE A TOLERABLY SAFE GUIDE.-If the
woman is in ordinary health in other respects, her
own appetite may be considered a safe and reliable
guide in the matter of eating.
“EATING FOR Two.”—Instead of being obliged
“to eat for two”—the most common of fallacies-a

FRUIT DIET.
171
woman requires to eat less during pregnancy than at
other times. Nature now insists that she shall take
into her stomach no more than she actually requires
for her own sustenance and that of the embryo whose
existence depends upon her. Whenever more than
this is taken, a protest is made against it in the form
of nausea. Again, Nature, usually so lenient and for-
giving—so slow to punish—when the woman alone is
concerned in what she eats, now that the welfare of
another being is involved, suddenly becomes simple
in her demands and imperative in her requirements.
FRUIT DIET.—A few years since I read an article
in a health journal in regard to the proper diet of a
pregnant woman, the substance of which article has
since been embodied in a little volume by Dr. M. L.
Holbrook, entitled “Parturition without Pain.” A
partial trial of the diet prescribed in this book has
convinced me that if its requirements were fully com-
plied with, the result might be that pregnancy and
childbed, if not entirely devoid of suffering, would be
a hundredfold less to be dreaded than now. I advise
every woman to get this book and read it for herself.
I have not space for a repetition of all the directions
concerning diet, but the substance of it is, to avoid all
meats unless it be the flesh of young animals, such as
lamb, veal or chicken ; to avoid also all articles made
of wheaten flour, and substitute farina and rice in their
place; to live principally on vegetables, and to indulge
unsparingly in acid and subacid fruits. To comply
fully with all the exactions of the volume referred to

172
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
would require time, trouble and expense beyond the
ability of most women. But vegetables and fruit are
always to be had; and if one meal in the day is made
entirely of fruit, it will save much distress.
FRUIT IN THE PLACE OF MEDICINE.—I have
found, in my own experience, a most simple remedy
(used in conjunction with the exercise I have already
recommended) for the sickness accompanying preg-
nancy, which always on previous occasions was severe
in the extreme. If I did not eat, I suffered terribly
from hunger; if I did eat, I suffered still more ter-
ribly from a sickness which kept me on the verge of
vomiting, yet never relieved me in that manner.
Thus I constantly fluctuated between nausea and
semi-starvation. There was always, day and night,
a bad taste in my mouth, which sensibly affected the
flavor of everything I ate. My remedy was no more
troublesome or expensive than this : immediately after
each meal--at which I was careful that no inappro-
priate article was used—I ate a single tart apple or
orange, which at once quelled all symptoms of nausea
or heartburn, took away the unpleasant taste, and left
me as free from distress as under ordinary circum-
stances, and with a hearty, healthy appetite to enjoy
my next meal. Let me add, that my inclination led
me to prefer a vegetable diet, and to avoid as far as
possible meat, bread, pastry and sweets.
Let women suffering from “morning-sickness” try
the acid fruit—apples, oranges, or even lemons if their
sourness is not unpleasant. If a single apple or orange

REASONS FOR EXERCISE AND DIET.
173
after each meal does not suffice, let them try two;
let them eat ten if that number is necessary to con-
quer the distress. The principle is a correct one, and
relief is certain. Let fruit be eaten at all hours of the
day-before meals and after, on going to bed at night
and upon getting up in the morning. If berries are
in season, let them be eaten abundantly in their
natural state—that is, without sugar. If the sickness
still continues, omit a meal now and then, and substi-
tute fruit in its stead. By a persistence in this course,
not only will nausea be conquered, but an easy .con-
finement guaranteed.
REASONS FOR THE EXERCISE AND DIET PRE-
SCRIBED.—As already stated, exercise will conduce
to vigorous and regular action of all the organs of
the body, and will avert biliousness and plethora. A
diminution in the quantity of food will lead still far-
ther away from a plethoric condition. Avoidance of
meat, pastry, and articles of a like character will pro-
duce a like result in regard to biliousness. Bread is
omitted from the diet, because wheat flour-even
bolted flour-contains a large proportion of phos-
phates or bone-making materials, the use of which
will tend to harden the bony structure of the embryo
in too great a degree, and render parturition exceed
ingly painful. Vegetables furnish all necessary nour-
ishment, and fruit, especially that of a sub-acid cha-
racter, will correct any remaining tendencies of the
stomach to biliousness or heartburn. It will also
115 *

174
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
the woman may contain, and the result will be that
the bones of the unborn child will remain gristly and
soft, yielding easily to pressure at the hour of birth,
and rendering that hour far safer and more free from
suffering to the mother without detriment to the babe
itself.
PERVERTED APPETITE DURING PREGNANCY. —
The woman who tries the fruit remedy will not only
find her nausea cured, but will be saved from those
disagreeable and unreasonable dislikes which a per-
verted appetite so often during pregnancy takes
against things best liked in ordinary health. The
favorite article of food will still remain the favorite,
and will, perhaps, be indulged in with more than
ordinary relish.
LONGINGS.—While on the subject of diet, it may
be well to refer to so-called “longings.” It is an old
wives' tradition that a longing must always be grati-
fied at whatever inconvenience or trouble to others;
else serious consequences may be visited upon the
unborn child. It is true that the capricious appe-
tite of a pregnant woman often takes sudden and
strange fancies. It is well to gratify these fancies if
convenient, because the gratification will do no harm,
and will afford a suffering woman temporary satisfac-
tior. But there is not the slightest danger of any
serious result if these fancies remain ungratified. If
they are unreasonable, the woman should herself be
conscious of the fact, and not even mention them.
The discipline of self-denial is well for her now, if it

EXAMPLE OF AN UNGRATIFIED LONGING.
175
never was before, for reasons which I will state here-
after.
CLASS OF LONGINGS TO BE GRATIFIED.—There is
one class of longings, however, which should not be
disregarded. The plea of the pregnant woman, that
an unreasonable wish should have immediate gratifi-
cation, because she may not feel it to-morrow, is the
very best reason in the world why it need not be grati-
fied at all unless convenient. But if a desire for some-
thing is constant and persistent, returning day after
day, and week after week, it is safe to regard it, not
as caprice, but as the voice of nature calling for what
is required for the well-being of the little one, the
good or ill of whose future existence is now being
determined.
EXAMPLE OF AN UNGRATIFIED LONGING. -- I
knew a woman—a poor woman—who, during one of
her pregnancies, had, from first to last, an immoderate
desire for sweets of all kinds—particularly for candies
and cakes. It was misery for her to pass the win-
dows of confectionery stores, yet she was obliged to
do so almost daily. Her means were small, and she
had to work hard at the sewing-machine for the little
she had; and she felt it would be a foolish, almost a
criminal, act to take the money which belonged to her
family and spend it on such trifles for herself. So
she denied herself from first to last with a strength
of purpose which those only can appreciate who have
been in a like situation.
The child was born, a little nervous thing, brighter

176
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
in intellect, perhaps, than her other children, but
early displaying involuntary nervous motions, some-
what spasmodic in character, which made the mother
fear Saint Vitus' dance. She kept the child from
school, and made her live as much as possible in the
open air, hoping that by this course her health would
improve, and she would recover from or outgrow her
nervousness. But at eight years old the girl was as
odd in her ways as ever, and the mother was in
despair.
Chancing one day to read a paragraph in a news-
paper to the effect that sugar was good in nervous
diseases, as it possessed an element which the nerves
required for their healthy growth, the truth flashed
upon her. That which she had looked upon as the
unreasonable caprice of a pregnant woman, and in
denying which she had taken a certain amount of
credit to herself, was the urgent call of nature, in
refusing which she had done her then unborn babe
great injury. At the time of her pregnancy her own
nervous system had been often completely exhausted
by severe and steady labor, and she had had no ner-
vous force left to bequeath to her child.
bowl at the free disposal of the little girl. There was
a marked improvement in the child's condition from
that time. The nervous twitches disappeared grad-
ually, and she grew healthy and hearty like other
children.
LONGING FOR LAGER BEER.—Another case of

LONGING FOR LAGER BEER.
177
persistent desire came to my knowledge. A woman
of exceedingly rigid temperance principles once, during
pregnancy, was seized with a fancy that lager beer
would cure her nausea. She had only a vague idea
what lager beer was like. Years before she had once
taken a single sip from a glass, and had found the
taste so disagreeable that she had not repeated it.
But now she could think of nothing but lager beer.
Like the woman previously referred to, she regarded
"her longing as a whim which it would be foolish to
gratify, and it was two weeks before she mentioned
the matter at all. Finally one day her wish slipped
out, almost accidentally, it seemed, in the presence of
her husband.
“Let me get you some beer if you think it would
do you good," said he.
"Oh no," she replied, “I won't be so foolish. Be-
sides, I don't think it would be right. You know I
don't approve of drinking lager beer under any cir-
cumstances.”
So the days went on, but the desire grew so strong
that she finally thought she might try the beer as a
medicine without any serious shock to her conscience,
She asked her husband to get her some; but when she
tried it, she was disappointed. It seemed to make
her worse rather than better. She mentioned the re-
sult to her husband, who laughed and told her it wag
not lager beer but ale he had brought her. He could
not get the beer at the time, and thought that ale
would probably do just as well.
M

178
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
He made another effort to get the beer, and suce
ceeded. Upon trial it acted precisely as she had felt
it would. She took it only by the tablespoonful,
sometimes a single half-pint bottle lasting her two
days, and the relief from nausea was always imme-
diate. She continued the use of beer in this manner
for two weeks, when it was no longer necessary, for
the nausea was gone. She had always in previous
pregnancies suffered to the very last.
RULE REGARDING LONGINGS.—The rule I would
lay down regarding the “longings” of pregnant
women is this: try these longings, and see if they are
mere passing caprices. If they are, not the slightest
harm will follow the refusing to indulge them, though
it may be equally true that there is also no harm in
gratifying them if convenient to do so. If they are
persistent and seem to strengthen rather than decrease
as time goes on, their gratification may result in posi-
tive good, their denial in absolute harm, to mother or
child.

CHAPTER XI.
THE DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY, AND THEIR
REMEDIES. CONTINUED.
AMONG the disagreeable accompaniments of preg-
nancy are cramps, swelled feet, varicose veins, faint-
ing, hysteria and toothache.
CRAMPS.—The best remedy I have found for crampg
in the legs is to spring at once to the feet and bear the
weight of the body upon them. Brisk rubbing is
recommended, and will probably, in some cases, prove
useful.
'feet swell and the veins burst, the woman must stand
or walk as little as possible. The swollen veins come
from the pressure of the womb upon the blood-vessels
beneath it, and in a recumbent position this pressure
is removed. However, cramps, swelled feet and vari-
cose or bursting veins may all be avoided by a light
and appropriate diet and abundance of exercise, which
will tend to keep down the weight of the fetus, so
that it shall not become burdensome.
NO NEED OF GREATLY ENLARGED SIZE IN A
PREGNANT WOMAN.—There is indeed no necessity
for the woman to become so bulky and unwieldy in
179

180
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
evil, as it is such a tax upon her strength to carry
about her increased weight. With the proper regimen
her appearance need not be greatly altered. And
though she must, of course, wear her clothing light
and loose about her waist, if she would not interfere
seriously with her own comfort and the health of her
future child, she may find herself able to wear her
ordinary clothing to the last with little or no altera-
tion.
I knew a woman who during several pregnancies
had been obliged to make radical changes in her
wardrobe, but who at last was induced by me to make
a partial trial of the fruit diet recommended by Dr.
Holbrook during the three months previous to her
confinement. The change it made was at once
marked. She walked, she rode, she ran, with nearly
as much ease as in ordinary health. I saw her help-
ing her husband build a fence but two weeks before
her confinement, and she wore her dresses unaltered
to the last. One day, but a few weeks before her
sickness, having visited the city and being about to
return home, she found on reaching the wharf that
the boat had already begun to push out from the
landing. She stood a moment in hesitation, and was
about to go back, but two of the hands in the stern of
the boat, seeing her trouble, called to her to come on.
The boat was swinging round out into the open river,
and the stern still rested against the wharf. Without
stopping a moment to consider, she ran at the top of
her speed, weighed down with a heavy basket and

FAINTING.
181
bundle, reached these over the railing of the boat to
the two men who were waiting for her, and while
they were setting them down made a spring herself
to the top of the railing, and with the assistance of
the men jumped safely down. This she assured me
she accomplished with as much ease as she could have
done it at any time in her life, and it was not until the
whole affair was over that she thought of any reason
why she should not have undertaken such a thing.
At any former time such an act would have been an
impossibility.
FAINTING.-Fainting fits are not uncommon dur-
ing pregnancy. They usually occur about the period
of quickening, but may come on at any time. They
are the result of a delicate constitution, combined per-
haps with too artificial a mode of life, excitements,
late hours, and stimulating but not sufficiently nutri-
tive diet. There is no especial danger in these attacks
of fainting, except where there is reason to believe the
heart is diseased. In the latter case a physician ought
at once to be consulted. In ordinary cases the patient,
upon the first feeling of faintness, ought to be laid
down without a pillow, and her dress thoroughly
oosened. The windows should be opened, water
sprinkled in her face, and the usual means for re-
storing animation resorted to. It is scarcely necessary
to say that there should be as few attendants as possi-
ble, and all spectators should be banished from the
room. This symptom indicates a change required in
the habits of life to simpler, plainer, more natural

182
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
ones : in brief, proper exercise and proper diet are re-
quired here as well as in nearly all other cases. A
change of air may prove beneficial when the patient
is subject to attacks of fainting.
PALPITATION OF THE HEART.Pregnant women
frequently experience palpitation of the heart. This
need cause no special uneasiness. It results from the
pressure of the womb upon the large blood-vessels.
Although it may give temporary discomfort, it will
pass away upon confinement. A few drops of cam-
phor taken internally will probably afford relief.
HYSTERIA DURING PREGNANCY.—Hysteria is one
of the most disagreeable accompaniments of preg-
nancy, and in suffering from it women usually receive
far less sympathy than they deserve. Its symptoms
are a choking sensation like a ball rising in the throat;
paroxysms of laughing and crying; a feeling of un-
rest, causing the patient to constantly change her pe-
sition, sometimes even with violence; and an inability
to occupy the mind without great nervous prostration.
In severe cases the feeling of unrest develops into
actual paroxysms, during which the patient flings her-
self violently from side to side, frequently doing her-
self physical injury.
Hysteria results from too close confinement and
from improper occupation, either physical or mental,
or from want of occupation.
REMEDY FOR HYSTERIA IN A PREGNANT WOMAN.
--The attacks of hysteria can be temporarily cured
in a pregnant woman, the same as in a young girl,

HOW TO AVOID HYSTERIA.
183
by the use of small doses of assafoetida taken as often
as required. Tincture of valeria is also an excellent
forty to eighty drops.
HOW TO AVOID HYSTERIA.—It is commonly sup-
posed that a woman during pregnancy must not be
subjected to long or severe mental effort. This is all
a mistake. Let her work with her brain as steadily
and as long as she chooses, so that she balances this
labor by ample rest, recreation and exercise in the
open air. If a woman begins to feel her mind over-
taxed and her nerves overstrained, she should not lay
the facts to too much mental study and work, but to
too little counter-balancing physical exercise and rest.
There is most danger from hysteria to those who have
not sufficient employment for the mind-whose hands
and brains are alike idle. It is a well-known though
not sufficiently considered fact that hysterical symp-
toms are to be more frequently met with among wo-
men of leisure than among those who perform either
hard physical or mental labor.
dictate to women in this condition is a great promoter
of hysterical symptoms. During several periods of
enforced seclusion, I was a great sufferer from certain
forms of hysteria. The form the most dreadful to me
(who never could, with any degree of satisfaction, re-
main unoccupied a moment) was that which compelled
me to sit for days and weeks together with hands
folded, unable to pick up a book or a newspaper, or

184
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
even to use my needle for more than a few moments
at a time, while pen and pencil had to be alike laid
aside. If I read, the words would reproduce them-
selves, and repeat themselves over and over again
until they completely wearied me. On the slightest
provocation I would fall into paroxysms of laughter,
which would change to crying and then to laughing
again, until I reached a state of extreme nervous pros-
tration. If I played chess or dominoes of an evening,
I would lie awake far into the night, wearily going
over the game and all its possible complications; and
after I fell asleep the ghosts of kings and queens,
knights and pawns — of aces and double sixes-
would haunt me till morning, making my sleeping-
hours more tedious than my wakeful ones.
Oh the dreadful weariness of those days! I hope
I may never have to pass through them again. And
I would, if I could, save every other woman from a like
dreadful experience. I shall have something more to
say in another chapter regarding the avoidance of
these nervous symptoms.
TOOTHACHE.-The best remedy for toothache is a
piece of cotton saturated with oil of cloves and placed
in the cavity of the tooth. This will generally give
immediate relief. Creosote is frequently used in-
stead of oil of cloves, but it is not so good, as it
causes the tooth to decay. Let me warn the sufferer
from toothache not to have the tooth extracted during
her pregnancy, unless she is prepared to run the risk
of worse suffering than even the tooth occasions her.

CONSTIPATION.
185
A tooth extracted during this period has even been
known to produce abortion. The toothache is most
probably sympathetic, and will pass away altogether
when the real cause of it no longer remains.
PRURITUS.—One of the most disagreeable accom-
paniments of pregnancy is pruritus, or itching of the
private parts. It is, however, fortunately, a symptom
seldom experienced. To cure this, stimulants of all
kinds must be avoided. A tepid sitz-bath of salt and
water will probably afford relief. The woman should
remain in the bath but a short time, repeating it daily
if necessary. This bath will be beneficial in other
respects. The parts may be also bathed two or three
times a day with vinegar and water. If there are
pimples in addition to the itching, glycerine may be
used with advantage. This trouble is caused by the
pressure brought upon these parts.
CONSTIPATION. — If a woman follows the sug-
gestions I have already given in regard to diet and
exercise, there is little danger of her being troubled
with constipation of the bowels. If, however, she
suffers with it from any cause, and a course of careful
remedies had best be employed first. A suppository
made of a small piece of soap, of molasses candy or
of tallow, pushed a little way up the anus into the
rectum, will probably give immediate relief. The
next simplest remedy is the use of a clyster or injec-
tion of tepid water, or molasses and water applied
with an ordinary syringe or a patent rubber syringe.
16 =

186
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
This is exceedingly beneficial, and productive of .0
evil results. If the patient wishes to take purgative
medicines, she must go to her physician for a prescrip-
tion, for I positively will give her none, so thoroughly
convinced am I that they are not only unnecessary,
but absolutely injurious, during this period of a
woman's life. I was asked by a young wife and ex-
pectant mother not long since if it were necessary to
take a dose of castor oil every two weeks during her
pregnancy, she saying she had been advised to do so.
I told her most emphatically, no. Neither is it neces-
sary or desirable to take castor oil shortly before con-
finement. If the bowels have been kept in proper
order, they require no physic whatever; and if they
have been allowed to get into an improper condition,
castor oil is not going to help them except for the
time being
PILES DURING PREGNANCY.—A pregnant woman
frequently suffers from piles. They are almost in-
variably the result of an improper or neglected
condition of the bowels or of the use of purgative
medicines. They are external or internal according
as they are around or within the fundament. They
present the appearance of soft dark-red tumors, vary-
ing in size from a pea to a walnut. When they burst
and discharge blood during stool, they are called
bleeding piles. After this discharge of blood there is
generally a sense of relief. The blind piles are the
most painful, inasmuch as there is no relief by
bleeding.

HEARTBURN,
187
TREATMENT OF PILES.–First, reduce the bowels
to their proper state. When any portion of the rec-
tum or lower bowel protrudes after a stool, it must be
pushed carefully into place by the finger, the nail
having been previously pared. Sponging with hot
chamomile and poppy-head tea several times each day
will give relief in extreme cases. When stool is
attended with much pain, the parts should be well
anointed with lard and camphor, or a suppository of
tallow may be used with advantage.
How PILES MAY BE AVOIDED.--Piles are greatly
to be dreaded; for if once established, they frequently
cling to the sufferer through life. It is easier to pre-
vent than to cure them. This can be done by keeping
the bowels properly open by diet and exercise, not by
drugs. The improper use of the latter frequently
causes piles.
INCONTINENCE OF URINE.—The pregnant woman,
during the latter months of pregnancy, is frequently
troubled with an inability to retain her water. There
is nothing alarming in this, though it is somewhat in-
convenient. It is caused by the pressure of the womb
upon the bladder. The bladder must be emptied
very frequently, as the retention of urine for a length-
ened period, even if it be possible, is not only very
painful, but positively injurious.
HEARTBURN.—Heartburn is a frequent and dis
tressing accompaniment of pregnancy. It is caused
by improper food, taken probably in too great quan-
tity. A change in the diet is required, avoiding all

188
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
food that is rich or stimulating in character. A less
quantity must also be eaten. If the trouble still con-
tinue, let it be borne in mind that it is not an alkali-
the usual remedy in cases of heartburn—that is re-
quired, but an acid, to correct this acidity of the
stomach. An orange, a tart apple, or å tumbler of
not too sweet lemonade, will probably bring imme-
diate relief. Vitriolic or citric acid may be also used
with benefit. Lime-water and milk will bring relief
when the heartburn is moderate. A few blanched
almonds or roasted groundnuts have been found in
mild cases to bring relief.
SALIVATION DURING PREGNANCY.—Women are
occasionally troubled with an excessive flow of saliva
during the early months of gestation. This salivation
is almost invariably accompanied by, and is the result
of, constipation and heartburn; therefore whatever
removes these latter will in all likelihood cure the
salivation. If it is severe, a physician had better be
consulted, who may possibly suggest some means of
relief. The same course of treatment pursued in
heartburn, frequent rinsing of the mouth with lime-
water, and the use of solid food alone, will bring relief
in ordinary cases. This symptom usually passes away
about the fifth or sixth month.
VARIOUS PAINS ACCOMPANYING PREGNANCY.-
The enlarged womb pressing against the liver and
ribs frequently causes severe pain in the side, or,
pressing against the sternum or breast-bone, causes
a sensation like the pricking of a needle at the

FALSE LABOR PAINS.
189
lower extremity of that bone. Again, the motion
of the child is sometimes so strong as to be ex-
ceedingly painful. These various pains are trouble-
some only during the last months of pregnancy.
Some of them result from the woman's enlarged size,
and whatever reduces that size will of course mate-
rially mitigate her sufferings. Patience is the only
thing to be recommended.
FALSE LABOR PAINS.—False labor pains are ex-
ceedingly troublesome and hard to be borne. Every
woman does not suffer from these, but they are liable
to come on at any time within six weeks previous to
confinement. They are often intermittent in charac-
ter—that is, coming at a regular hour in the day, and
disappearing with a like regularity; exceedingly se-
vere, similar to true labor pains and almost as hard
to endure. A woman who has ever felt them recog-
nizes them at once, and never mistakes them for real
pains. There is no certain remedy for them, so far as
I know, though camphorated oil or laudanum applied
to the lower portion of the abdomen will sometimes
afford relief. When they are intermittent in charac-
ter—that is, coming and going at regular periods
they may be successfully treated with quinine; but I
think I should prefer to suffer the pains than take the
medicine—though that may be prejudice. While suf-
fering these pains the patient must keep off her feet
as much as possible, and seek such a position as will
give her most ease. It will be found well, if prac-
ticable, for her to occupy both hands and mind, in

190
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
order that her thoughts may not dwell too constantly
on her sufferings.
MARKS.—It is currently believed among the ma-
jority of women that any sudden or strong impressicn
of the mother, such as fright, or the sight of any dis-
agreeable object, or failing to obtain the object of a
“ longing,” may be communicated to the child, leaving
a “mark” upon his personal appearance bearing a
strong resemblance to the object which has caused this
impression. My own observation has not, of course,
been very extended, but so far as it goes, it is mainly
against the truth of the marking theory. Physicians
are divided in their opinions on the subject. Some
deny the possibility of such a thing, basing their de-
nial on the tolerably well-established fact that there
is no direct communication between the nervous sys-
tems of the mother and child. One physician states
that, in many thousand cases of hospital and private
practice, he had never discovered a single example of
so-called marks following or corresponding to any
fright or strong impression of the mother. Others
admit the possibility of the transmission of these im-
pressions, being reluctantly forced to this admission
by occasional apparently well-authenticated evidence.
That children are frequently marked in various
ways is well known, but probably in a large majority
of cases, if not in all, these marks may be regarded as
me e freaks of Nature. The spots-brown, yellow,
re , blue or black in color-which are frequently ob-
so ved on the skin of new-born infants, and which

MARKS.
191
are supposed to represent certain objects or fruits
craved by the mother during pregnancy, are the result
of an alteration of a portion of the skin, which, though
a species of disease, is not in the slightest degree dan-
gerous in its character. They remain stationary after
birth, and require no treatment whatever.
Deformities or peculiarities may be inherited, or
they may be the results of accidents to the mother-
such as falls or blows-during the period of gesta-
tion. I have often wondered, if it were possible to
obtain the record, how many of these deformities
would be found the result of attempted but unsuc-
cessful abortion.
There is no doubt that long-continued mental im-
pressions leave their mark upon the child, but there
is less ground for belief that sudden nervous ones do.
It is well for the pregnant woman to keep her mind
quiet and calm and free from all disturbing influences,
to surround herself with pleasant objects and subject
herself to agreeable associations. By all means let
her not become the victim of foolish fears in regard
to mother's marks. If there is any truth in the mat-
ter, there is more danger of bad results from the mind
dwelling morbidly on possible consequences from an
untoward event or a frightful object, than there ie
from the first impression which that event or object
creates. Let a woman consider herself when preg-
nant just the same in all respects as when in ordinary
health, exercising her will that she shall be so. She
may then meet whatever comes to her fearlessly and

192
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY.
unshrinkingly, and laugh in the face of her advisers
who would seek to imbue her with their own super-
stitions. I may be wrong; nevertheless, I am toler-
ably confident of the position I take.
The balance of this chapter has no special reference
to the disorders of pregnancy. It consists of advice,
hygienic and otherwise, concerning that state-advice
which it would not do to omit, and which occupies
too brief a space to be entitled to a separate chapter-
head.
BATHING DURING PREGNANCY.—Cleanliness is a
duty to every one, and quite as much a duty during
pregnancy as at any other time. Those who have
faith in the efficacy of water in counteracting all the
ills to which human flesh is heir, lay great stress upon
the desirability of making use of various kinds of
baths-particularly lukewarm sitz-baths-during the
period of pregnancy. The use of baths is undoubtedly
a preservative of health, and should be resorted to
more frequently and with more scrupulous regularity
than is common. But care should be taken that in
the use of the bath there are no sudden shocks to
the physical or nervous system. For this reason it is
better to use a hand-bath. If cold water chills the
system in its peculiarly sensitive state, let the water
be slightly tepid. Warm sitz-baths will be found
highly beneficial, as the period of confinement ap-
proaches, in relaxing the system. A small tub or a
large hand-basin may be used for this purpose, being
partially filled with tepid water, and the patient sitting

DESCENT OF THE WOMB BEFORE DELIVERY. 193
down in it, with the upper part of her body care-
fully covered.
TO PREVENT SORE NIPPLES. —Sometimes the
nipples are so tender that the woman suffers exceed-
ingly when she comes to nurse her babe. To avoid
this, the nipples should be bathed daily for some time
before confinement in a wash of alum-water or with
cologne-water, for the purpose of hardening them.
TO PREVENT CRACKING OF THE SKIN OF THE
ABDOMEN.—The violent stretching to which the skin
of the abdomen is subjected by the constantly enlarg-
ing womb sometimes causes its under tissues to crack.
These cracks are permanent, leaving the woman scarred
and disfigured for life. It is well to guard against
them by frequent rubbing of the bowels with lard or
sweet oil. If the skin feels sore from stretching, the
bowels should be rubbed every night and morning
with warm camphorated oil. A broad flannel belt
may be also worn, made comfortably tight and fastened
by strings. This, if put on properly, will afford sup-
port to the abdomen.
DESCENT OF THE WOMB BEFORE DELIVERY.—
A short period before confinement the womb sinks
down into the pelvis, and the pressure and pain which
have been felt in the region of the heart, liver, ribs
and sternum disappear. This descent may take place
only a few hours before delivery, or it may occur sev-
eral days, or even weeks, previously. There is now a
pressure felt in the hips and groin and against the
lower part of the back. Sometimes the pressure upon
17
N

194
DISORDERS OF PREGNANCY,
the rectum is so great that symptoms are felt similar
to those of tenesmus—that is, a desire to void the
bowels without the ability to do so. The greatest
relief is experienced from lying down. A woman,
feet at this period. If, however, she has lived prop-
erly and rationally, she will find her sufferings greatly
diminished.
POSSIBILITY OF DETERMINING PRESENTATION OF
CHILD WITHOUT EXAMINATION.—When the womb
has thus descended into the cavity of the uterus, it is
not impossible for the woman to feel a hard, solid
substance resting on the lower bones of the pelvis,
and causing her some difficulty in walking. This
solid substance is the head of the child pressing
against the mouth of the womb, and this feeling en-
sures a right presentation. The feet are small and
yielding, and could not be felt except as they moved,
while the breech is too large and presents too extended
an arc to sink so low down. Besides, even if it were
possible for it to descend the same as the head, there
is not the solidity about it that would make its pres-
ence plainly felt.

CHAPTER XII.
DELIVERY.
DURATION OF PREGNANCY.--The full time for
pregnancy is from two hundred and seventy to two
hundred and eighty days, though delivery may some-
times take place a few days earlier or a few days later.
In rare cases it is sometimes delayed for weeks after
the proper period.
THE “Show.”—When the time for parturition is
actually drawing near, the woman is apprised of the
fact by a mucus-like discharge usually tinged with
blood. When this discharge, or “show," as it is
commenced, though it may be several hours or even
several days before the pains are felt with any regu-
larity.
FIRST STAGE OF LABOR.—This is the first stage
of labor. The mouth of the womb is open and the
parts gradually relaxing preparatory to the second stage.
PREPARATIONS FOR CONFINEMENT.—It is now
time for the woman to set her house in order, get all
things in readiness, and send for her nurse, if one is
engaged, but not yet time to think of a doctor.
THE BED PREPARED FOR DELIVERY.-Let the
195

196
DELIVERY.
bed be made up with fresh, clean, well-aired clothes
These must all be lifted from the foou and folded
back over the upper half of the bed. Over the bare
mattress or bed should be spread a piece of oil-cloth a
yard and a half square. Over this again is folded
and spread an old comfort. This should be covered
with a sheet, which, if desirable, to save extra wash-
ing, may be the one which has already been in use
upon the bed. The bed-clothing to cover the patient
must be in quantity suited to the weather, and of a
material easily washed. The curtains and valances
should be removed.
WHAT KIND OF A BED SHOULD BE USED IN
CONFINEMENT ?-I believe it immaterial, in a hy-
gienic point of view, whether a straw bed, a mat-
treas or a feather bed is used during confinement.
The patient should consult her own feelings entirely
in the matter.
FEATHER BEDS.—There is a great deal of what I
consider unfounded prejudice against the use of feather
beds. Some object to them on the score of their en-
ervating influence, others on that of a supposed gen-
eral unhealthfulness. If one feels weakened from the
use of a feather bed, he or she had better give it up,
but that is no reason why another who experiences no
such bad effects should practice a similar denial. I
know its use is absolutely beneficial to some per-
sons. As to its unhealthfulness, when it is profusely
shaken, airel and cleansed, I think that is all a
mistake.

INFANT'S FIRST CLOTHING.
197
PROPER BEDSTEAD.—The bedstead used in a lying-
in chamber should be strong and well made, and with-
out a foot-board. The old-fashioned four-poster is the
very best kind that can be obtained, as it is ca-
pable of enduring all the strain that may be put
upon it.
DE NECESSITIES OF THE LYING-IN ROOM.—In a
place where they will be found without difficulty by
those in attendance must be extra bed-clothes, un-
derclothing for the sick woman, bandages and nap-
kins, or cloths. There must be water in the room,
towels, soap and a saucer of lard. On a stand, table
or dressing-bureau should be a pair of sharp scissors
and a piece of cord or string, either cotton or linen,
strong, round, soft and elastic, and a cushion filled
with pins. Either in or convenient to the room
should be the means of heating water quickly.
INFANT'S FIRST CLOTHING.–The infant's cloth-
ing needed for immediate use should be placed all to-
gether in a basket, so that when it is required there
will be no time lost in searching out the separate arti-
cles. The contents of the basket should be: a soft,
long-sleeved night-gown, a flannel petticoat, a soft
linen shirt, a flannel or elastic cotton band, socks, a
piece of soft linen rag (an old handkerchief is the best),
some equally soft cotton rags, a pin-cushion containing
pins of two sizes, a piece of white castile soap, a little
bag of thin muslin containing powdered potter's clay,
a flannel blanket, soft towels and a wash-rag. On
top of all should be laid some old garment of soft
27 *

198
DELIVERY
flannel large enough to receive the babe when it is
first born, and to wrap it entirely up until some one
is ready to take charge of it.
PERSONAL PREPARATIONS FOR DELIVERY. ---
When it is time for her to take to her bed, let the
woman put on a clean undergarment, with a short night-
gown over it. These must both be folded up around
her shoulders and waist, and around the latter must
be pinned the soiled undergarment taken off, a cotton
or flannel petticoat or a folded sheet.
THE HAIR DURING CONFINEMENT.-Part the
hair evenly in a number of divisions, and tightly
braid each division. The style is not at all becoming,
but it allows of the braids being taken down and
combed separately, at intervals that will not fatigue
the sick woman.
CONDITION OF THE BOWELS AT THE COMMENCE-
MENT OF LABOR.—It is of the utmost importance
that previous to the actual progression of labor the
bowels should be freely opened. Nature will gener-
ally do this, but if she fails, it must be done by arti-
ficial means. An injection will probably accomplish
the desired end; but if that also fails, a mild purga-
tive, such as magnesia, should be administered without
delay. Bear in mind, however, that medicine is only
to be resorted to when other means fail.
VENTILATION OF THE LYING-IN ROOM.— The
sick-room should be well ventilated without ex-
posing the woman to draughts. An open fireplace
or pipe-hole is one of the best and safest means of

BLUNDERS OF MEDICAL AUTHORITIES.
199
ventilation. Of course, whether windows and doors
are to be open, will depend upon the season.
NUMBER OF ATTENDANTS DESIRABLE. — There
should not be too many attendants in the sick-room.
The midwife, with the nurse, and perhaps a second
woman for assistant, are all that are needed. The
assistant may be dispensed with, though there should
be a third person within call ready to respond to any
summons for warm water or whatever may possibly
be required.
SECOND STAGE OF LABOR—GRINDING PAINS.—
When the first regular pains are felt, then the second
stage of labor is reached. These pains, which are
called grinding pains, may be felt almost immedi-
ately after the “show," or may not appear for several
hours or days. Some women who have easy deliv-
eries suffer very little from these pains, and do not
count them as pains at all. In others they are very
severe and almost unendurable. During these pains
the mouth of the womb gradually dilates until the
opening is sufficiently large to allow the child to force
its way through. One of these pains is first felt low
down in the back: the pain extends across to the front
of the abdomen, then the woman becomes sensible of a
contraction of the whole womb without any bearing-
down feeling. This contraction is not without pain,
though its effect is more that of suspending the breath
and making motion impossible for a moment even
after the pain has subsided.
BLUNDERS OF MEDICAL AUTHORITIES. -Writers

200
DELIVERY
on this subject not infrequently confound the two
classes of pains. One medical writer describes the
grinding pains as being “attended with a bearing.
down sensation.” Another authority, also a physician,
copies from a medical work a description which he
gives as that of bearing-down pains, which occur in
the third stage of labor, though it is a correct descrip-
tion of the grinding or dilating pains of the second
stage. The description is as follows: “The true
labor pains are situated in the back and loins; they
come on at regular intervals, rise gradually up to a
certain pitch of intensity, and abate as gradually; it
is a dull, heavy, deep sort of pain, producing occa-
sionally a low moan from the patient, not sharp or
twingeing, which would elicit a very different expres-
sion of suffering from her.” These pains commence
feebly and irregularly at first, but gradually increase
in strength and regularity, until they will probably
come on at regular intervals of five minutes. They
may come on with regularity and severity for a time,
leading to a hope of a speedy delivery. Then they
will relax and disappear altogether. This may be
repeated again and again. There is nothing more
discouraging to the patient. If she has summoned
doctor and attendants, she feels as though she had
been practicing deception upon them, when, after a
period of pain, she finds herself perfectly free from
suffering, and apparently as far from actual labor as
she was before her show.” Besides, her strength is
after a time exhausted by this lengthened and repeated

FEMALE PHYSICIANS.
201
suffering, and the little courage she may have been
able to summon to meet the ordeal before her is very
likely to ooze away as time passes.
To HASTEN A TEDIOUS LABOR.—When there is
this discouraging commencement to labor, it will be
found beneficial to bathe the feet in warm water and
drink some warm herb tea. Thyme tea is excellent
in this case, though, if this cannot be obtained, a tea
made of hops or of any of the aromatic or medicinal
herbs will do. It might also be well to try a tepid
sitz-bath. Drinking abundantly of cold water, and
applications of cold water upon the abdomen, are rec-
ommended by some physicians to accomplish the same
purpose.
TIME TO SEND FOR A DOCTOR.—When the pains
seem fairly established in regularity and severity, then
it is time to send for a midwife, either professional or
non-professional.
ARE DOCTORS NECESSARY IN DELIVERY?-I
have always maintained that in ordinary confine-
ments there is no need whatever of the aid of a
physician. In many cases the nurse or attendant
woman performs all his duties before he arrives, and
all that is left for him to do is to inspect affairs and
see if everything is right. There are exceptional
cases, of course, when the presence of a doctor is de
sirable and even necessary.
FEMALE PHYSICIANS.—I think, when a woman
physician can be obtained, she is to be preferred to a
man. She is, as a rule, just as capable, more reliable,

202
DELIVERY
more sympathizing and more helpful, not to say that
her presence does not wound the delicate sensibilities
of the patient.
MALE PHYSICIANS IN THE LYING-IN CHAMBER,
-Do not let the reader understand me to mean that
a male physician cannot enter the parturient cham-
ber without violating propriety or shocking modesty,
There are many noble men in the profession whose
desire is solely to relieve suffering, and their attend-
ance upon the sick-beds of women is characterized
by the utmost delicacy.
REPUTATION OF MEDICAL STUDENTS.—Still, when
one bears in mind the general character of medical
students and their deportment on certain special oc-
casions yet well remembered, it is not strange if one
should question the probability of these young men
ever acquiring that modesty and that respect and con-
sideration for the other sex which should be considered
the imperative adjuncts of the male midwife. As the
boy is the father of the man, so is the student the
father of the physician; and the rudeness, the indeli-
cacy and insulting demeanor which a large number of
medical students have proved themselves capable of
as those who read the newspapers but a very few years
since will remember—seem sufficient to disqualify
them for ever from certain important branches of
their profession. For certainly the man who cannot
maintain a proper demeanor during the discussion of
certain subjects when he meets women as fellow-
students in the lecture-room is also incapable of ob-

TAKING A PAIN.
203
serving propriety when the same subjects are dis-
cussed between himself and one of the other sex, the
one as physician and the other as patient or nurse.
patient has followed the rules I have given her in
the previous pages of this book, and if she feels
well and strong, there is every reason to look forward
to an easy confinement, during which the attendance
of a woman of ordinary experience, common sense and
presence of mind, is all that is necessary.
RIGHT AND WRONG PRESENTATIONS.—There is,
reasonably speaking, only one risk to be run—that of
a wrong presentation; and whether the presentation is
right or wrong can be ascertained by the attendant,
or by the patient herself, if she have resolution suffi-
cient for it, in time to send for professional assistance
if necessary. The examination should be made early
in labor. The attendant must lubricate her hand with
lard or oil, and passing her finger up the vaginal
passage, press it upon the mouth of the womb, which
will be found lying toward the back. If a hard, un-
yielding substance is encountered, the presentation
is right-it is the head. If, on the contrary, the
contents of the womb feel soft and yielding like
flesh, a physician should be sent for without delay,
as it may be necessary to turn the child before it can
be born.
“TAKING A PAIN.”—I have frequently heard
women talking about the doctor taking a pain."

204
DELIVERY.
meant by it, but would not subject myself to their
ridicule by confessing my ignorance. I at last dis-
covered that they believed that a doctor in making
vaginal examinations was able to give them relief
from pain and hasten the conclusion of the labor.
An occasional examination is necessary, when the labor
is prolonged, to note its progress and judge of the
probable time of its ending. But these examinations,
if o frequently made, irritate the passages, give the
wcman unnecessary pain and actually retard the
progress of the labor.
REQUISITES OF A COMPETENT MIDWIFE.-- Al-
though any woman of ordinary ability is perfectly
competent to act as midwife, still, it is supposed that
no one will undertake the responsibility of such a
position without some preparation either of study or
observation. Every woman should possess the requi-
site knowledge to act in this capacity, for every woman
is liable to be called without warning to assume this
part. If by any combination of circumstances, a
woman finds herself forced to act without this due
preparation, she must allow herself neither tremors
nor fears, but must rely upon her common sense and
presence of mind, constantly remembering that nature
wants waiting on, but not assistance.
PATIENT'S POSITION ON THE BED.—While the
grinding pains continue the patient may sit, stand,
walk or lie, as she prefers. It is well to encourage
her to be upon her feet as much as possible, as that
position helps to strengthen the pains. When she

THIRD STAGE OF LABOR.
205
takes her final position upon the bed, she must lie
diagonally across the lower portion of it.
VOIDING OF URINE DURING LABOR.—The patient
should frequently make water during the entire prog-
rex of labor. By so doing she will be saved much
pain and possible trouble.
No BEARING DOWN DURING THE GRINDING PAINS.
-Ignorant attendants will sometimes tell the woman
to strain or bear down during the continuance of the
grinding pains. This is worse than useless. It ex-
hausts the patient's strength to no purpose; and if this
forced bearing down were productive of any result
whatever, it would be that of rupturing the womb
and causing the woman's immediate death.
THIRD STAGE OF LABOR.—When the mouth of
the uterus is sufficiently dilated, the third stage of
labor commences, indicated by a change to “bearing-
down pains,” by the means of wbich the child is
expelled.
In the bearing-down pains the sensation is exactly
like straining at stool. The bearing down is partly
an involuntary action of the womb, but it is greatly
facilitated by the patient herself straining with all her
night. There is no pain, strictly speaking, in the
bearing down. What suffering there is at this period
of the labor comes from the head of the child tearing
the edges of the mouth of the womb as it passes
through, and from the excessive stretching and possi-
ble tearing of the outer organs as the child is born,
If everything is in its most favorable condition, there
18

206
DELIVERY
will be no pains whatever at this stage of labor. The
severe effort required is, however, exhaustive.
There is no gradual transition from one class of
pains into the other. The change is sudden and com-
plete. It may be that one pain is both bearing down
and grinding, but seldom more than one. And this
is the hardest, most unendurable pain of labor.
In the third stage of labor her bed is the only place
for the woman. She must lie en her left side, and it
is usual to place her in such a position that she can
brace her feet against the bed-post at the recurrence of
each pain, at the same time giving her a towel made
fast to the same post to pull upon. The patient does
not always desire these aids, and it is absurd to in-
sist that she must use them, as I have seen done, when
she feels no need for them.
SUPPORT TO THE BACK DURING LABOR.-Some-
times it is a relief to the patient to support her back
during each pain. This support should be given by
a pillow or bundle pressed against the back, rather
than by the hands.
DURATION OF THE THIRD STAGE OF LABOR.
The third stage of labor is generally of short duration,
though in a first confinement or in cases of difficult
delivery it may be hours before the suffering is at an
end. As these pains are only for the purpose of ex-
pulsion, if the mouth of the womb is sufficiently di-
lated, the muscles of the passage relaxed, the child not
too large and the bones of the head soft and yielding,
three or four pains ought to accomplish the delivery.

BREAKING OF THE WATERS.
207
SUPPORT FOR THE RIGHT KNEE. — When the
woman feels the head of the child in the passage, it is
customary to place a pillow or bundle between her
knees, or for an attendant to support the right knee
in an elevated position. These aids, though better
than nothing, are not, after all, as perfect as they
should be. If this stage of the labor is prolonged,
the position becomes very fatiguing to the woman,
for after all she only half depends upon the aids fur-
nished her, and is obliged to make much exertion
herself, so that days afterward she may suffer from
the pain and weariness resulting from it. A better
plan is to place a stool, about the height of an or-
dinary chair, in the bed in such a position as not to
be in the way of the attendants who must assist in the
delivery of the child. On this let the woman rest her
knee. The height of the stool and the consequent
elevated position of the knee will force open the bones
of the hips to a wider extent, thus allowing a freer
passage for the child, and consequently ensuring an
easier delivery.
BREAKING OF THE WATERS.—The child, while
it exists in the womb, floats in a liquid called the
amniotic fluid or liquor amnii, the who's being en-
closed in a sac. Besides other important purposes
which it serves, this amniotic liquor, by gushing out
of the ruptured bag a few moments preceding birth,
moistens and softens the passages and renders the
progress of the child easier. Sometimes the sac of
waters breaks in the early stages of labor. This is

208
DELIVERY.
unfortunate, as the labor is retarded in consequence,
Sometimes, again, the child is born with the sac un-
broken, or, if broken, with the membrane still over its
head. This membrane is called a caul, and superstitious
people attach a certain significance to it. The proper
time for the “breaking of the waters," as it is called, is
when the head of the child is in the vaginal passage.
At each pain there will be a flow of liquor. If the
water does not break of itself, then the attendant
ought to rupture the bag with her finger, taking care
not to injure the child's head in so doing.
PRECAUTION AGAINST PILES.—During the prog-
ress of the bearing-down pains it is of the utmost im-
portance that some one—the patient can do it herself
as well as any one-should take a soft napkin or rag
and press with her finger upon the anus; otherwise,
in the severe straining the rectum will be forced out-
ward and piles may be developed. Each succeeding
confinement will increase this tendency to piles, and
the woman may become a lifelong sufferer.
PROTECTION OF THE PERINEUM.—When the head
descends in the passage, it is equally necessary that the
perineum, or muscle which separates the anus from
the vaginal passage, should be protected. In severe
delivery, especially in a first confinement, this muscle
is sometimes ruptured for want of proper precautions,
and the two passages become one. Scarcely a more
serious disaster could occur.
Foot PRESENTATION.—It is possible, with a foot
presentation, for the labor to advance naturally and

FOOT PRESENTATION.
209
terminate favorably. A woman of nerve and self-
confidence need have little hesitation in conducting a
labor with such a presentation. If she lacks confi-
dence and resolution, a physician ought to be sent for.
The greatest difficulty in such a delivery is that the
hands may not come with the body, but remain
clasped over the head. It is imperatively necessary
that the arms be drawn down before the expulsion of
the head. The attendant should, with the utmost care
and deliberation, slip her forefinger around one arm
of the child close to the shoulder, and draw it gently
downward, observing the natural movements of the
joints. One arm being freed, the other should be
treated in the same manner. The body of the child
should be supported until the head is born, so that it
will meet no injury by unnecessary strain. When
the expulsive pains come on, there should be a slight
aiding, but no hastening, of nature. An attempt to a
forced withdrawal of the child may result in a prema-
iure rupture of membranes, a breaking of the navel
cord, introversion of the womb or breaking the child's
neck. Still, it is actually necessary when the head is
born last, if the expulsion of this part is prolonged, to
aid nature in a gentle manner. If there is any long
delay, the continued pressure upon the umbilical cord,
and the consequent interruption of communication be-
tween mother and child, may result in the death of
the latter, as it is not yet able to breathe. Until it
breathes it is necessary for its life that the constant
flow of blood through the cord should be unchecked.
18 *

210
DELIVERY
CASES WHERE A PHYSICIAN IS NECESSARY. —
When the labor is exceptionally severe, or when the
patient early shows signs of weakness and exhaustion,
it is advisable to send for a doctor. Also, when the
head of the child has progressed so that it may be
seen, and there remains stationary for a length of
time, unable through the narrowness of the passage
or the rigidity of the muscles to make a further de-
scent. In this case the use of instruments may be
required.
There are other cases detailed in medical books in
which the presence of a professional is absolutely de-
manded. It is not necessary, however, to describe
these cases here, as probably such a description would
cause unnecessary alarm to timid and nervous women,
and invest parturition with a host of imaginary evils
which do not properly belong to it. These cases are
exceptional, and a prudent and judicious attendant,
without being positively informed of their varied and
exact natures, will always be able to detect them by
the abnormal symptoms which they present. When
such cases are suspected, prithout waiting to ascertain
their exact nature, there should not be a moment's
delay in sending for professional assistance.
PROPER PRESENTATION IN LABOR.—When labor
progresses properly and naturally, the back of the head
will appear at the opening, the face of the child being
turned to the woman's back.
FACE PRESENTATION.— Children are sometimes
born with what is called a face presentation—that is,

ATTENTION TO THE CHILD UPON BIRTH. 211
with the face turned front and presented at the open-
ing. Such delivery is more tedious to the mother and
dangerous to the child.
TO AVOID SUFFOCATION BY THE NAVEL CORD.-
As soon as the head is born, the hand should be passed
around the infant's neck in order to see if it is encir-
cled by the navel cord. Such cases are rare, yet not
child may be suffocated before its birth is completed.
The cord must be loosened gently and slipped over
the child's head.
ATTENTION TO THE CHILD UPON BIRTH.—Three
or four pains after the first appearance of the head
will generally complete the delivery; and then the
mother, utterly exhausted, is allowed a breathing-
spell. Now the first object of attention is the child.
It ought to cry immediately upon entering the breath-
ing world. All is well if it gives ever so feeble a
cry. It is a sign that air has entered its lungs and
its communication with the outer world established.
It is not uncommon, however, that there is some dif-
ficulty in obtaining this first breath. The nose and
mouth should be cleansed of all blood and mucus. A
smart blow upon the buttocks will sometimes startle
the child into breathing. If it still struggles, breath-
the lungs. If this also fails, procuire a quill, and
nther nostril in order to fill the lungs with air; and
then, taking away the hand from mouth and nose,

212
DELIVERY
press gently on the breast to expel the air, thus imi-
tating natural breathing. This can be done, though
not so well, without a quill, if one is not at hand.
This failing, immerse the child in water at a tempera-
ture of 98° Fahrenheit, or at blood heat. Continue
these trials until the child breathes unaided, or until
life is extinct. There is little danger of a healthy,
maturely born child dying if the proper means are re-
sorted to and persevered in to introduce it to life. I
have never known a single instance.
CUTTING THE NAVEL CORD.— When the child
has fully established itself in the breathing world-
not before—the umbilical cord should be cut. This
should be tied about an inch and a half—some say
two inches—from the body of the child, with a soft,
strong cord or string. It should be tied again a short
distance from the first place, and then cut between the
two tyings by a pair of sharp scissors. The second
tying is to prevent the blood, which is still circulating
in the cord, from running out and soiling the bed-
clothes unnecessarily.
CARE NECESSARY IN TYING THE NAVEL CORD.-
The utmost care should be taken that the string is
tied sufficiently tight to prevent any possible bleeding
of the child. Doctors are not always careful as they
should be in this particular, and it is well for nurses
to look after even their work. An overlooked and
bleeding navel will soon bring death to the healthiest
child. After the navel is attended to, the infant may
be wrapped up warmly and stowed away in some safe

REMEDY FOR AFTER-PAINS.
place until its turn for attention comes, unless there
is some one ready to wash and dress it.
AFTER-PAINS.—In twenty minutes or half an hour
after delivery the patient is seized with another class
of pains called after-pains. These pains are caused
by the contraction of the womb. Their effect is first
the expulsion of the placenta or after-birth, then of the
clots of blood which have accumulated in the uterus,
and finally of the discharges which continue for some
time after delivery.
DURATION OF AFTER-PAINS.- A woman with the
first child suffers little or not at all with after-pains,
but in each successive delivery her sufferings from
them are longer and more severe.
REMEDY FOR AFTER-PAINS.—Opium in some
form is usually prescribed to alleviate the sufferings
caused by after-pains. Those who can take opium
with impunity will find their sufferings relieved by
its use. But I should recommend a person of nervous
temperament and with a deranged nervous system to
endure the suffering rather than to accept the remedy.
Once or twice in my own experience I was persuaded
to make use of this drug for this purpose, but its after
effects were so bad that I resolved to let it alone in
future. I felt many of the symptoms experienced by
a confirmed opium-eater when he attempts to break
himself from the habit. I scarcely expect to be be-
lieved when I state that under certain circumstances
I still feel the effects of these two trials, though the
first was made five years ago.

214
DELIVERY.
EXPULSION OF THE AFTER-BIRTH.—In ordinary
cases the after-pains will shortly come on. If they
do not appear, it is well to wait a reasonable time
rather than to hurry nature. I once knew a woman
to lie eight hours without any pains and with the
placenta unexpelled, without any inconvenience to
herself, except the discomfort of not being able to be
placed in a clean bed. If the pains are felt but the
after-birth does not come away, that is another
thing. In that case a woman may shortly be brought
to the verge of death.
AIDS IN THE EXPULSION OF THE AFTER-BIRTH.
-If after the lapse of the usual time of twenty min-
utes or half an hour the pains begin, but the after-
birth gives no signs of coming, it will be well to pull
gently at the cord, with not sufficient force, however,
to run any risk of breaking it. At the same time
gently yet firmly knead the bowels in order to assist
in the detachment of the placenta from the walls of
the womb. The woman may also blow in the palms
of her hands. The effort put forth by this act is
sometimes available. If time goes on and all attempts
prove useless, then a doctor should be sent for, all
the sooner if the patient is suffering from the severity
of her pains, threatened with flooding and showing
signs of fainting.
FLOODING.-If flooding sets in or is apprehended
after delivery is safely accomplished, lower the pa-
tient's head and raise her hips, and apply a compress
wrung out of cold water to the lower regions of the

BANDAGE FOR A LYING-IN WOMAN.
215
bowels. Continue this until the flooding is checked.
If the woman has a desire for ice-water, or even ice, it
can do her no harm, and may even be beneficial.
FAINTING.–If the patient faints or shows signs of
fainting, the windows of the room should be opened,
and as much air given her as possible. Her head
should be lowered, if it is not already low; hartshorn
should be applied to her nose, and water sprinkled in
her face. If the fainting is prolonged or repeated, it
may be well to put a little wine or brandy in her
mouth. A doctor should be sent for at once.
CONTRACTION OF THE WOMB.—The bowels of the
patient should be pressed with the hand in order to
help in the expulsion of the clots and in the proper
contraction of the womb. If the womb is contracting
as rapidly as it ought after the expulsion of the after-
birth it should feel hard and rough to the hand, in-
stead of soft and yielding.
BANDAGE FOR A LYING-IN WOMAN.—As soon as
the after-birth has come away, and the more soiled
of the bed-clothing under her has been removed, the
bandage must be put on. This bandage may be,
and usually is, a yard of strong muslin folded length-
wise and sewed at the ends, or a long and strong
towel. Neither of these is as good as a regular
bandage cut to suit its especial purpose. The accom-
panying diagram shows the forın I would recommend.
This bandage should be thirty inches around the
top, and twenty-five inches from the top of the
back to the bottom of the long narrow end. It is

216
DELIVERY.
made double, of strong unbleached muslin. It is fas-
tened in front as tightly as can be borne with comfort.
The narrow end is brought down the back, passed
between the legs and pinned to the front. This pre-
vents the bandage from slipping up, and at the same
time furnishes something by which the cloths needed
by the patient can be kept in place, so that they will
not fall away at · every change of position. The
bandage should be tightened from time to time.
There is real comfort in this bandage. In the old-
fashioned straight bandages there is nothing but dis-
comfort. Every movement of the patient causes
them to slip up, and then by great effort they must
be pulled down again; for if allowed to remain out
of place, they do harm instead of good.
I think the bandage which I have described might
be improved by being made to lace up in front in-

DISPOSITION OF THE PATIENT IN BED.
217
stead of being pinned, and then it could be tightened
without trouble as often as desirable.
CORRECT MANNER OF PUTTING ON A BANDAGE.
-In putting on the bandage, be careful and put it well
down around the hips and lower part of the abdomen,
in order to give the latter its needed support, while in
its present weak condition. The bandage is not used to
give shape to the waist, as is the common belief. We
do not care one straw about the waist, whether it
turns out small or large. If it remains larger than
before, it is tolerably good evidence that it was smaller
than it ought to have been. Non-professionals usually
make the mistake of putting on the bandage too high
up. A bandage properly applied will prevent the
abdomen from hanging down after convalescence..
PERMANENT DISPOSITION OF THE PATIENT IN
BED.-If the delivery has concluded favorably, and
no troubles of any sort occur, as soon as the after-
birth is disposed of and the bandage adjusted, it is
well to place the patient more comfortably in bed. I
know the usual advice is for her to remain an hour or
more undisturbed. But, no matter how weak she is,
she will feel better and gain strength quicker if the
soiled clothes surrounding her be removed, and she is
made clean and comfortable. Besides, any delay is
really retarding the period of actual rest.
Raise her sufficiently to remove all the soiled
clothes from under her. Draw down her clean night-
gown and chemise, which have been folded around her
waist. Bring down the bed-clothes on the side of the
19

218
DELIVERY.
bed on which she is to lie, and help her to move inta
the proper place, not allowing her to raise up, but
exhausted, she should be lifted at once to the proper
Cover her so that she shall feel comfortable, and
then finish the arrangement of the bed. When the
child is dressed, it should be brought to her and
placed to the breast.
ADMISSION OF THE HUSBAND TO THE SICK-
CHAMBER.—When all this is done and the traces
of delivery removed, then the husband should be ad-
mitted to see his sick wife. It will be considerate to
leave him alone with her for a short time; but the in-
terview must not be too prolonged.
NEED OF QUIET.—Sleep is what the mother now
needs more than anything else. There must not be a
word uttered either to her, or in her presence, until
she has had a quiet, refreshing sleep. I know too
well how generally this is disregarded. The attend-
ants linger about and fill the sick-room with the con-
fusion of their talk, until the woman becomes nervous
and feverish, and sleep becomes impossible. Not even
the nurse should remain in the room, though she
should be within call.
FooD UNNECESSARY DURING LABOR.It is a
common practice to give a woman in labor hearty,
stimulating food, under the impression that she needs
it to keep up her strength. If the labor is vigorous
and rapid, she should on no account eat anything, as

ANÆSTHETICS IN MIDWIFERY.
219
all the energies of her body are given to the one
effort. If, however, the labor is slow, and the
woman feels weakness for want of nourishment, a
little cold broth or warm tea or gruel may be admin-
istered, but nothing more solid or stimulating. If
there are actual pauses in the labor-pains for any
lengthened period, she may partake sparingly of any
light, nutritious, easily-digested food, as during the
pauses the stomach will probably be enabled to re-
sume its functions long enough for digestion.
FOOD AFTER DELIVERY.—Even after delivery is
accomplished do not press the woman to eat. If she
feels the need of food, it may be given her, sparing in
quantity and exceedingly light in character; but she
is better without it for a time, until the organs bave
had opportunity to rest.
STIMULANTS.—Wine, brandy and stimulants of
every character should be avoided, and only given,
by the advice of a doctor, in cases of extreme pros-
tration. It is best to avoid all temptation by having
none of these articles in the house,
ANÆSTHETICS IN MIDWIFERY. I have said noth-
ing about the use of anæsthetics, as chloroform or ether,
to mitigate the pains of childbed, because their use
comes properly within the province of a physician,
and no unprofessional midwife should meddle with
them. This silence does not signify disapprobation.
On the contrary, I consider them one of the greatest
blessings science has vouchsafed to us, and I wish in
obstetrical practice their use was far more common.

CHAPTER XIII.
THE SICK-ROOM.
NEED OF REST.—Rest is what the patient needs
above everything else. There is no reason in trying
to tempt her appetite, and insisting upon her eating
when she is not hungry, on the plea that she needs to
get back her strength. That is precisely what she
will do with rest and quiet, and when the need for
food comes the appetite will come with it.
ADVANTAGES OF ABUNDANT AND UNDISTURBED
SLEEP.—Let the patient eat as often as she will, but
never awaken her out of a quiet, natural sleep under
the impression that she needs food. A parturient woman
often passes a weary, wakeful night, and it is not until
toward morning that she sinks into a calm, restful
slumber, from which it is a mercy—more than that,
an absolute necessity if she is to regain her strength-
not to awaken her. Let her sleep, then, even if she
sleeps on until noon, and be glad of it. If the babe
must be attended to, take it carefully away and leave
the mother undisturbed.
DO NOT FORCE FOOD UPON THE SICK WOMAN.--
I have known an otherwise excellent attendant, influ-
enced by the belief that a nursing woman must eat as
early in the morning as possible, insist upon waking
220

OF FORCING FOOD UPON THE SICK.
221
up her charge at the usual breakfast-hour. Nature
was crying for rest, not for food. So a few mouthfuls
would be reluctantly taken, and the woman would try.
to go to sleep again. But outraged nature was not
thus to be trifled with. Little or no sleep would come
that day, there was so much to prevent it: people
going in and out of the room; the usual household
noises outside. By night a state of nervous wakeful-
ness would be reached, often accompanied by slight
touches of fever; and it would be far into the night
before even a troubled sleep would close the eyelids.
The next day the same experience would be re-
peated. All protests from the sick woman were met
with the invariable remark: “I was always taught
that sick people should eat the first thing in the morn-
ing if they wanted to get well.”
It was no wonder that this woman's convalescences
were always very much delayed, and her strength a
long time in coming back.
If sick people want to eat the first thing in the
morning, by no means keep them waiting for their
food. Their wants should always be first attended to,
for in the lives of a good many women it is the only
period when they or their needs are considered of the
first importance either by themselves or any one else ;
and even now they are paying a heavy penalty for the
privilege of extra consideration. But if they desire to
sleep, bear in mind that sleep is doing for them all
that food can do, and more than food will do if un-
willingly taken.
19 *

222
THE SICK-ROOM.
DIET OF A LYING-IN WOMAN.—No matter how
good a woman's appetite may be, her diet should be
light and simple during the first three or four days
of her confinement, until the flow of milk is fully es-
tablished; for if anything of a stimulating character is
eaten, it may help in bringing on a fever at the crisis,
DIET FOR THREE DAYS AFTER CONFINEMENT. —
In cases of extreme debility the diet had better consist
of dry toasted bread and stewed and raw fruits, with
weak tea, cold water or thin cold gruel for a drink.
No milk or meat should be allowed. This diet may
not be absolutely required by every one, though those
who unnecessarily confine themselves to it will err on
the safe side. Crackers, and everything likely to be bind-
ing in their effect upon the bowels, should be avoided.
How TO KEEP THE BOWELS OPEN WITHOUT
hazards, but fruit should be made to do the work in-
stead of drugs. Drugs should be avoided, if possible.
The patient should neither be persuaded nor compelled
to take castor oil for the purpose of opening the bowels,
unless she is willing to run the risk of piles and kin-
dred diseases. I am convinced that the piles, from
which so many young mothers suffer, originate in the
custom of taking castor oil during confinement for the
purpose of opening the bowels.
NECESSITY FOR A BED-PAN.—A bed-pan is an es-
sential of a lying-in chamber. Either the slipper or
the round form may be used. The patient need not

LOCHIAL DISCHARGES.
223
of necessity have her bowels moved during the first
twenty-four hours; but it is absolutely necessary that
her bladder should be emptied in less time than that.
If she finds difficulty in passing her water while
lying down, I believe it is better to raise her up in
bed upon the pan, her feet, well covered, hanging over
the side of the będ, than run the risks which a dis-
tended bladder impose upon her. Even when she
seems to have passed her water, if the quantity is
small, and she still feels pain and soreness in the
region of the bladder, she had better be raised in like
manner, when it will very probably be found that
only a small portion of the actual amount of urine
had previously escaped. When the patient is very
weak, a catheter will be found necessary when this
difficulty occurs.
EVACUATION OF THE BOWELS ON THE SECOND
DAY.-By a judicious use of fruit the bowels can be
made to open naturally on the second day. If there
is a desire for evacuation which cannot be accom-
plished lying down, the patient should be raised in
the manner already described. I think the results
from this raising will be less disastrous than to allow
inaction of the bowels, and be compelled to resort to
drugs in consequence.
LOCHIAL DISCHARGES.—After the placenta and
clots have passed away, there is still a discharge from
the uterus at first brightly tinged with blood. Later
it gradually assumes a lighter tint, until finally the
dried cloths will present a light greenish hue. So

224
THE SICK-ROOM.
long as the color of the lochial discharge is right, no
apprehension need be felt concerning what may seem
too great plentifulness. It should be profuse, and
there is more danger of too little than too much.
HOW TO DECIDE WHAT IS OVER-EXERTION.—A
woman can easily decide by the color of these dis-
charges when she has overexerted herself. When
this is the case, the cloths will be marked with fresh
blood. When she first begins to get about, these dis-
charges will naturally darken somewhat. But if
there should be a liberal discharge bearing the tint
of fresh blood, accompanied by pain and soreness
within, the woman should at once keep herself quieter,
and postpone further exertion for a day or two.
DURATION OF THE LOCHIAL DISCHARGES.—The
lochial discharges may cease at the end of fifteen
days, or they may be continued for a month or even
longer.
UNTIMELY CHECKING OF THE LOCHIÆ.—If the
lochial discharges are checked from any cause before
the period of their proper cessation, it will be well to
place a warm flax-seed poultice sprinkled with pow-
dered camphor over the lower part of the abdomen.
The poultice should be renewed as suon as it loses
its heat.
SORENESS IN THE LOWER PART OF THE ABDO
MEN.—The attendant should be careful to make fre-
the lower portion of the abdomen. If there is, it must
not be neglected, as it may develop into inflammation

MILK FEVER.
225
of the peritoneum, or covering of the bowels. Let
flannel saturated with burning fluid be immediately
applied and suffered to remain until it produces a sen-
sation of burning. Let this be repeated at intervals
until all pain and soreness to the touch are gone. If
burning fluid cannot readily be obtained, turpentine
will do nearly or quite as well. I have recently read
that some physician had found turpentine invaluable
in cases of peritonitis.
CLEANLINESS. —Cleanliness is an essential to the
recovery of the sick woman. The frequent use of a
warm sponge over both body and limbs, administered
in such a manner that she shall suffer no exposure to
chill, will be beneficial.
FLOW OF MILK.—About the third day the flow
of milk sets in, and now is the greatest danger from
fever. The patient should not be left alone a moment
at this period without having the means at hand of
summoning assistance at once.
MILK FEVER, AND HOW TO CHECK IT.—The
milk fever will be preceded by a chill or chilly sen-
sations. There should be extra bed-clothes in the
room ready for immediate use. There should also be,
either in the room or where it can be obtained without
a moment's delay, a flat-iron warm, but not hot enough
to burn. The moment the patient feels the first symp-
toms of a chill the flat-iron should be wrapped in flannel
and placed to her feet. At the same time more covering
must be thrown over her. This will check the chill at
once, and probably prevent the fever. All through her

226
THE SICK-ROOM.
confinement a woman is liable to these chills, and
they should always be treated in the same manner, or
they may put back her convalescence seriously, if they
do not result in her death. If, in spite of all precau-
tions, fever should follow, let the patient be given a
half teaspoonful of sweet spirits of nitre or a spoonful
of spirits of mindererus in a little water every hour
until the fever subsides. If the dose does not seem to
allay the fever, increase the quantity and diminish the
time of giving. Allow no visitors until the fever is
subdued.
SUPERABUNDANCE OF MILK.—There is often more
milk than the babe can dispose of. It is very neces-
sary that it should be drawn, as its accumulation is
troublesome, not to say dangerous. The milk can be
drawn by the mouth, or by the use of a breast-pump.
If a breast-pump is not at hand, porter bottles can be
filled with hot water, and after the bottles are thor-
oughly heated, the water is poured out and the mouths
of the bottles applied immediately over the nipples.
The air within the bottles is rarified and expanded by
the heat, and as this condenses and contracts, the milk
is drawn out.
WEED IN THE BREAST.—Sometimes, in spite of
all precautions, slight cold is taken in the breasts,
and they harden and cake, and are extremely painful.
This is far more liable to occur when the breasts are
allowed to get too full. Cloths dipped in hot lard or
oil and laid over the breasts will soften them and give
relief. To avoid weed in the breasts, they should be

SYMPTOMS OF GATHERED BREAST.
227
kept well protected with an extra covering of flannel,
even in the warmest weather.
GATHERED BREAST.-There are two forms of
gathered breast. One is a gathering in the gland
of the breast, and is most serious in its nature. The
other is a gathering in the outside tissues of the
breast, and does not in any way affect the milk
glands. This latter is of comparatively trifling im-
portance. In the case of the first form of gathered
breast the child must not on any account nurse from
that side, though it may nurse from the healthy
breast. In the latter form the child may safely
nurse from both breasts.
CAUSES OF GATHERED BREAST. — A gathered
breast is more likely to occur after a first confine-
ment and in the first month. It is frequently caused
by carelessness in not keeping the breasts sufficiently
protected from the air. Or it may result from the
mother sitting up in bed to nurse her babe. This is
an exceedingly bad practice, and ought never to be
allowed. Sometimes, if the nipple is sore, the mother
will keep her babe too much at the other bosom.
The breast gets distended with milk, becomes in-
flamed, and finally gathers. Again, if the mother
allows her babe to draw at a breast when there is no
milk, the result may be equally bad. The habit of
wearing stays will also produce this and other affec-
tions of the breast.
SYMPTOMS OF A GATHERED BREAST.—Gathering
in the breast always begins with a shivering fit, fol.

228
full, hot and painful. The milk lessens or entirely
disappears; and if the infant attempts to nurse, it gives
the mother exceeding pain. Fever and sickness fol-
low. A doctor should be sent for without delay on
the first symptoms of chill, as he may be able to pre-
vent the gathering.
SORE NIPPLE.—A nursing woman is frequently
troubled with sore nipples. A soft cloth, wet with
glycerine, applied over the nipple whenever the infant
is not at the breast, will very likely afford relief, or,
mix finely powdered gum arabic with a small quantity
of powdered alum, and apply it to the nipple with a
camel's hair brush. This application need not be
wiped off when the infant nurses. If the nipple is
very sore, a rubber nipple must be worn over it in
nursing
DIET AFTER THE THIRD DAY.—After the third or
fourth day, if there have been no unfavorable symp-
toms, the patient may begin to add to her bill of fare.
Chocolate is better than tea or coffee for a drink. It
has no injurious effect upon the nerves, is more nu-
tritious, and promotes a flow of milk. It should be
made fresh every time that it is needed, as there is
nothing so disagreeable to a delicate stomach as choco-
late that has been warmed over and displays particles
of grease floating on the surface. It is best to make
the chocolate with water, and after it has boiled suffi-
ciently pour in the desired quantity of milk, allowing
it to warm, but not to boil.

QUIET IN THE SICK-ROOM.
229
Broths and soups made of chicken, and of the lean
of beef and mutton, either with or without rice or
vegetables, will be not only palatable, but highly
nutritious and strengthening and easily digested.
Most kinds of vegetables may now be indulged in
freely, and ripe fruit without stint. Brown bread is
better than white, if the woman finds it sufficiently
nourishing, as it is an excellent regulator of the bowels.
REGULATING THE FLOW OF MILK.—It is fre-
quently the practice for attendants to urge an unusual
quantity of food and drink-especially the latter-
upon the sick woman, for the purpose of promoting a
flow of milk. The consequence too often is that there
is more milk than the babe can dispose of, and the
breasts become distended and painful, and are liable
to gather. The flow of milk should be regulated by
the diet, as far as possible. The diet should at the
first consist of fluids in a very limited degree, so that
the incoming of the milk may be gradual and within
the control of the babe. As the babe's needs increase,
and as, with the advance of time, the dangers from
too great a flow of milk decrease, the amount of fluid
food may be gradually augmented until the required
amount of milk is obtained. Chocolate, milk, not too
strong black tea, gruel and broths, are the best drinks
for a nursing woman. I suppose it is useless to make
any protest against the use of coffee and green tea.
Nevertheless, I cannot but think them injurious.
QUIET IN THE SICK-Room.—Keep the sick-room
quiet. Allow no visitors at first, and none from first
20

230
THE SICK-ROOM.
to last except such as have sufficient judgment not to
stay too long, nor to excite or weary the patient by
too much talking.
APPEARANCE OF THE SICK-ROOM.—Do not allow
the slightest evidence of sickness to be visible in the
room. Keep all medicine bottles out of sight. Be
careful to arrange the furniture exactly the same as
usual. Allow no soiled or unused clothing to lie
about, and cumber chairs, tables or lounges. If it is
necessary to make up an extra bed on floor or lounge
for the accommodation of the nurse, remove every
trace of it when morning comes. Let no unused food
or dirty dishes remain in the room : let all the para-
phernalia of each meal be removed as soon as the meal
is concluded.
There is nothing so depressing to a sick woman's
mind as to be constantly reminded of her invalid state.
If, from the general appearance of the room, she can
cheat herself into the belief that everything is as ordi-
nary, that she is only lying down temporarily and
can get up when she pleases, the cheerfulness which
such a fancy will engender will go far toward helping
her recovery.
MAKING THE SICK WOMAN'S BED.—Keep the bed
neatly and carefully made. There is much discomfort
in a bed that has been laid in two or three days, the
sheets crumpled and out of place, the quilts dragged
to one side, and the pillows flattened and hard. If
the woman is not able to sit up to have her bed made,
let her be moved to one side of the bed while the

FUMIGATION.
231
other is being shaken up and arranged, the clean
sheets folded lengthwise and put on, and the covers
smoothed and straightened. When she is moved back
to her place again, the other side can be arranged in
like manner, the soiled sheets removed and the clean
ones unfolded and drawn out.
CHANGE OF CLOTHING.-Change the woman's
clothing frequently. There is such a sense of comfort,
especially to an invalid, in clean, fresh undergarments.
I have already recommended the use of short night-
dresses. I think any one who has ever used them
will never again adopt long ones for a sick-bed.
LIGHT AND AIR.—Be sparing of light at first, but
allow plenty of fresh air. Even in the winter the
room should be aired at least once a day, proper pre-
cautions being taken that the sick woman is not ex-
posed to cold or draught.
FUMIGATION.—A medical student in passing his
examination was once asked what was the use of
fumigation in the sick room. He replied that it pro-
duced such a disagreeable smell that people were
obliged to open the windows, and so proper ventila-
tion was secured. If fumigators are considered in that
light, they are excellent things to use. But if it is
supposed they do away with the need of ventilation,
it is a great mistake. They may disguise a bad smell,
but the impure air which causes it still remains, and
can only be got rid of by proper ventilation. Burn-
ing rags, etc., in a sick-chamber, are therefore worse
thai seless.

232
THE SICK-ROOM
USE OF THE EYES DURING CONVALESCENCE.--
Do not allow the patient to use her eyes. Positively
forbid books and papers, for the first week at least,
and even longer if it seems necessary. I know how
tedious it is for an active woman to lie day after day
deprived of reading or work; still, it is best and must
be submitted to. After a time it may not hurt her to
read for a short interval. But on the first feeling of
weariness of the eyes or of the nerves, the book ought
to be promptly laid aside. The same rule should be
applied to work of any sort—work, of course, suited
to a sick-room, such as light sewing or knitting.
How LONG OUGHT A WOMAN TO REMAIN IN
BED AFTER DELIVERY ?- The question is often
asked, “How long ought a woman to remain in bed
after delivery ?” The usual answer is, “ Until the
tenth day.” Still, I have seen women up and doing
their ordinary work at the end of a week. The only
proper answer can be: “It depends upon the
woman.” If she is healthy and strong naturally, ani;
her delivery has been an easy one, to keep her in bea
for ten days is both foolish and cruel. She ought to
be able to sit up in four or five days, and by the tentk
to be well advanced in her convalescence. If, on the
contrary, her health is ordinarily poor, and her delivery
has been severe, she may not be able to leave her bed
under two weeks, nor even then without running seri-
ous risks.
THE WOMAN THE BEST JUDGE OF HER OWN
STRENGTH.—The woman knows best herself what she
20 *

GOING TO WORK TOO SOON.
133
can do. If she does not feel that she is able to sit up,
10 one ought to persuade her to try. If she does feel
able, she ought to be permitted to make the experi-
ment, on giving the promise that she will desist if she
feels discomfort or too great fatigue. A woman is
perhaps inclined to be too ambitious in this particular.
But she should remember that, if she gets up a day
too soon, she may have to remain a week longer in
bed.
INJURIOUS EFFECTS OF TOO LONG CONFINEMENT
IN BED.—On the other hand, a day longer in bed
than is necessary is a positive injury, and a delay to
ultimate recovery.
FIRST SITTING UP.—The first attempt at sitting
up should be very brief indeed. If that is followed
by no serious results, the period can be lengthened on
the following day, and so on, until finally the woman
will return to her bed during the day for short periods
of rest only, and will find herself far more comfortable
in her easy-chair. The first feeling of weariness
should be a signal for an immediate return to bed.
GOING TO WORK TOO SOON.-Even after the
woman is able to move with comparative ease about
ber chamber, and has assumed her ordinary dress, she
should be in no haste about going back to her usual
routine of work. The general impression—at least
the general rule of action is that as soon as a woman
can creep down stairs and move slowly and hesitat-
ingly about the house, she is ready to assume her
daily burdens--that she will get well the quicker for

234
THE SICK-ROOM.
going to work.” Every one lays down the share of
burdens he or she has been bearing, and there is noth-
ing left for her to do but to pick them up, long enough
before she is physically fit. This is especially the case
among working-people.
DANGERS OF GOING TO WORK TOO SOON.-I be-
lieve more wives die from too early a return to work
than in the hour of delivery. Even if this danger is
escaped, there is discomfort, which is greater than
spectators have any idea of (women learn so soon the
lesson of suffering patiently and uncomplainingly);
and most serious consequences are sure to follow in
the future—a future so remote that few people ever
think of connecting cause and effect.
PREVALENCE OF PROLAPSUS UTERI.—If any one
will take the trouble to inquire, he or she will be
perfectly astounded at the amount of suffering from
displacement or falling of the womb among women in
the middle and humble walks of life—women of all
ages, but especially among those of ages varying from
forty upward. I do not think I am putting the case
too strongly when I say the difficulty is almost univer-
sal. These cases seldom come to the knowledge of a
physician ; it would be of little avail if they did, for
they are past medical aid, and can only be helped-
not cured—by mechanical means. The pattern for
bandage or brace will be passed from neighbor to
neighbor, without any one outside the freemasonry of
sex and suffering having a suspicion of its frequent
need.

CRAVING FOR CHALK.
235
FREQUENT CAUSE OF PROLAPSUS UTERI.— The
most usual, though of course not the only, cause of
prolapsus uteri, or falling of the womb, is the haste
with which young mothers resume household duties
after their confinements. A woman may go about her
work, and suffer comparatively trifling inconvenience,
but the muscles fail to recover their proper tension;
and when the period of child-bearing is past, if not
sooner, then they give way altogether, and the woman
is destined to suffer to the end of her life.
CHANGE OF DIET AFTER CONFINEMENT.--There
must be a change in the woman's diet after she has
recovered from her confinement. During pregnancy
her food should be fruit and vegetables, that her baby
may be born with a frame soft and yielding—with
gristle instead of bone. But now the child requires
something to strengthen and harden its bones, which
it can only obtain through its mother's milk. Vege-
tables and fruit should still be considered important
articles of food; but in addition there should be meat
-beef and mutton—bread, and other articles in which
lime and other phosphates form an important element.
Bread made from unbolted flour is the best if it proves
sufficiently nutritious. If this change is not made, the
baby will be weak and puny, perhaps rickety ; the
woman's own strength will fail her, and she may be
the victim of morbid cravings.
CRAVING FOR CHALK.-I once knew a nursing
woman who was seized with an inordinate desire for
chalk, a substance which she never before could bear

236
THE SICK-ROOM.
to put in her mouth. She began by eating little bits
surreptitiously, until she had used up all there was in
the house. The desire still grew upon her, and she
was wise enough to believe that such a craving could
not come without some reason, though the exact one
she did not then understand. Her husband, when he
came to know of it, objected and remonstrated; still,
in compliance with her earnest entreaties, he bought
her large quantities of chalk, which she ate in pieces
as large as a hickory-nut, eating a number of such
pieces during the day. This strange fancy continued
for two or three weeks, and then suddenly ceased, and
her repugnance to chalk became as great as ever.
A few years afterwards she learned the reason of
this strange caprice. During her pregnancy, her fan-
cies had led her ignorantly to adopt a correct diet,
from which bread, meat and every kind of food con-
taining bone-making material were excluded. Con-
fined in early summer, just as fruit and vegetables
were coming in season, she still made them, after her
convalescence, her principal articles of food. But
nature was not to be cheated thus; and her system
being deprived of lime in its proper disguise of food:
in which phosphates largely enter, made a call for
it direct. Hence the unconquerable desire for chalk.
When this need was supplied, then the desire ceased.
She never wanted chalk afterward. The very
thought of it set her teeth on edge.

CHAPTER XIV.
CAN A WOMAN SMOKE?
ANECDOTE OF LOLA MONTEZ.—I once read an
anecdote of Lola Montez, for the authenticity of
which, however, I will not vouch. True or untrue,
it serves my purpose as an illustration.
That somewhat eccentric lady, to say nothing harsher
of her, was riding in a railroad car, when, notwith-
standing notices placarded in the car, “No smoking
allowed here,” she took out a cigarette, and was puff-
ing at it very composedly when the conductor came
along. He looked at her in astonishment, and finally,
with some hesitation, addressed her.
“You can't smoke here, madame," said he.
“ But you see I can,” was the imperturbable reply,
the cigarette removed just long enough to say the
words, and then replaced, while Lola went on with
her smoking the same as before. The conductor, taken
aback at the coolness of the reply, hesitated a moment,
and then passed on, leaving the fair smoker to the en-
joyment of her cigarette.
SELF-CONSTITUTED CONDUCTORS OF THE AFFAIRS
OF THE WORLD.-Scarcely a week passes that I am
not reminded of this story. Now one and then
237

238
CAN A WOMAN SMOKE?
another masculine self-constituted conductor of this
world's affairs—now it is a clergyman, then an editor,
again, seeming to consider himself vested with double
authority, a physician-steps up to the feminine half
of the world when he sees it attempting to violate
what he considers the proprieties, and says gravely,
severely and with a tone of authority certain words
the substance of which is, “ Madame, you can't smoke
here."
The actual speech of these conductors generally runs
after this wise: “You are a woman—a female, in
plain words. The main function of your sex is the
reproduction of the human species. In performing
this function in a proper and satisfactory manner, it is
utterly impossible that you should occupy any public
position, or enter public life in any manner whatever.
You may be about to become a mother, or you may
be already a nursing mother; or, if neither, your sex
renders you liable to those disabilities, and your mani-
fest duty calls upon you to assume them. Therefore
your own health, the safety and well-being of your
children—in brief, the whole welfare of the human
race, and the proprieties generally,—demand that pul-
pits, desks, judges' benches, doctors’, lawyers', editors'
and other business offices should be vacated by you at
once and for ever. Mercantile pursuits are also quite
out of your line, though if you choose to engage in
them in a humble, small way-turning your front
parlor into a little shop, and living, eating and sleep-
ing in the rear—you may be permitted to do so, as

CAPABILITIES OF WOMEN.
239
you will not interfere seriously with the business pur-
suits of the other sex. Be warned in time, madame,
and put aside your mad ambitions ; desist from your
ruinous courses. If you do not, the next generation
will be a race of invalids and idiots. In brief,
madame, you cannot smoke here.”
The more timid of us immediately hustle out of
sight our forbidden cigarettes and return with a sigh
to stocking mending. We dare not open our mouths
in reply, even if we would; for let a man talk as
plainly as he will regarding the duties and functions
of the feminine sex, as soon as a woman begins to
utter a word in defence, the cry is : “What shame-
less immodesty, to discuss so unreservedly such delicate
matters !”
If, however, she who is thus addressed is a wise wo-
man, and not easily frightened, she will quietly pursue
her course, stopping only long enough to say, "But
you see I can, sir."
FEMININE CAPACITY UNFAIRLY DECIDED.This
matter--and it is a weighty one, affecting directly the
interests, the health and the happiness of one-half the
human race, and indirectly the other half-has been
decided too long by the theories, and the false con-
clusions drawn from false premises, of the sex least in-
terested in the matter.
WOMEN SHOULD THEMSELVES DECIDE AS TO
THEIR CAPABILITIES.—It is time women themselves
spoke, and gave evidence, gathered from actual experi-
ence, concerning what they can and cannot do. There

240
CAN A WOMAN SMOKE?
are plenty of women of action, but these are not always
women of words; and while they have been quietly
doing, they have been too much overlooked.
CAPABILITIES OF MOTHERS.—I am not now going
over the ground of the possibilities which women may
accomplish who are not bound by domestic ties, or
who have reached an age when in the course of nature
these bonds loosen of themselves, and who conse-
quently can be considered in the same category with
the other sex. I am going to pin myself down to the
one point of what a pregnant and nursing woman may
and can do, and what effect that doing will have upon
her health and that of her child. Do not misunder-
stand me. When I refer to special vocations, I am
not laying down a rule as to what all women must
and should do, in spite of conflicting duties, lack of ca-
pacity or inclination; only what women may and can
do with perfect impunity if they so choose.
MUST PREGNANT WOMEN BE STRICT HOME-
KEEPERS ?—And to begin with, I would make the
assertion that there is little, except severe physical
labors, among which I would include the heavier
branches of housekeeping—which latter, however, wo-
man are generally expected to perform at such times
that a woman in ordinary health can do, that can-
not be done equally well by a pregnant or nursing wo-
man. I will make one exception: a woman under
these circumstances cannot and must not be subject to
confinement. A woman in ordinary health may, with
comparative impunity, keep herself closely to a round

BAD EFFECTS OF CLOSE CONFINEMENT.
241
of domestic duties, with no widening of her physical
or mental horizon, without any immediately visible
effect; though this course will tell in the long run by
a physical and mental deterioration. But the woman
who is living a double life must not be made a
prisoner of in any sense of the word, though the belief
is almost universal that at such times she should be
strictly a homkeeper.
VIOLATION OF NATURE'S LAWS.—Nature is so im-
perative in her demands for a wider, more active life
at such times that she visits with the severest and most
immediate penalties any transgression of these laws. For
an enumeration of these penalties the reader has only
to turn back to previous chapters, wherein the ordinary
sufferings of pregnancy are enumerated. The woman
who keeps herself closely confined is punished by
sickness, debility and a hundred other ills; and nature,
as if in a sort of poetic revenge upon her refusal to
take proper exercise abroad, at last makes her so
bulky that she can scarcely sustain her own weight,
when, consequently, she cannot go out if she would.
BAD EFFECTS OF CLOSE CONFINEMENT DURING
PREGNANCY.—The mental effects are even worse than
the physical. The woman whose horizon is bounded
at such times by home duties and home trials, and
who abstains from all severe or protracted mental ef-
fort, from the belief that such effort will be injurious
in her present state of health, soon suffers the penalty
of her folly in uncontrollable fretfulness and irritable-
ness, low spirits and a complication of nervous disor-
21

242
CAN A WOMAN SMOKE?
ders, all of which are set down as the natural accom-
paniments of pregnancy, while they are only diseases
resulting from avoidable causes. And as in the case
of the physical health, nature deals out the same poetic
justice by soon rendering the woman mentally incapa-
ble of occupying her mind the little even that she
would. Read in a previous chapter the description of
hysteria and its various symptoms.
PARABLE OF THE TEN TALENTS.—It is the old
parable, with a new reading, of the servants to whom
were entrusted the talents. The one who wrapped his
in a napkin and laid it away for fear of losing it was,
when the reckoning came, deprived of the little even
that he had.
PREGNANCY NOT A STATE OF DISABILITY.-It
is doing a great injustice to the Creator to believe that
He would render the state in which women are or-
dained to pass a large portion of their lives one of
such positive suffering and disability ; that He would
implant in their breasts hopes which must be disap-
pointed, capabilities which are never to be used, am-
bitions which must systematically be smothered. It
is worse than injustice, it is absolute blasphemy, to ac-
cuse Him of the evils which we have brought upon
ourselves by our own ignorance or folly.
CAN PREGNANT WOMEN ENDURE PROLONGED
MENTAL LABOR ?–“But women cannot at such times
engage in prolonged mental labor," says the physi-
cian, armed with the double authority of his masculine
wisdom and his medical diploma.

A BUSINESS LIFE.
248
I beg your pardon, sir; but as in the case of the
smoking, you see we can.
A woman's mind is at such times more easily “de-
moralized,”—that is, as I have already said, a “will
not” soon resolves itself into a “ cannot.” But at
such times it is more active, more capable of constant,
severe and varied labor, than at any other period. It
almost seems that at such times it possesses a double
vitality and is capable of double activity. And this
mental labor can be indulged in with the most bene-
ficial effects upon her health. All that she requires for
a counterbalance is an equally thorough rest and
recreation, the latter in the open air if possible.
A BUSINESS LIFE PECULIARLY SUITED TO A
PREGNANT WOMAN.—There is no life so exactly
suited to the pregnant woman as one of business.
Remember, I am not discussing this subject as a "re-
former” or a theorist, but from a hygienic point of
view, and my arguments are all based upon facts.
Indeed, it was the facts which suggested the arguments.
Woman like, I began at the conclusion and reasoned
backwards. The hurried, stirring walk or ride in the
morning to her “office;" the constant change of faces
and impressions; the steady application to business
duties; the health-giving exercise on her return home
at night; the pleasure which she experiences on this
return in meeting the circle of welcoming faces, and
narrating and listening to the experiences of the day;
the zest instead of weariness which she feels in resum-
ing her household tasks,--all render this the life best

244
CAN A WOMAN SMOKE?
fitted in every respect for her in her present condition.
She is fresh, active, cheerful and even-tempered ; and
forgets her bad feelings so constantly and systemat-
ically that shortly they disappear altogether. She
rests quietly at night, and awakes refreshed in the
morning
THE HOME-KEEPING WOMAN.—Her neighbor in
the same condition, yet in a different state of health,
looks on half in envy and half in astonishment, and
exclaims :
“What a wonderful woman you are to do so much!
I am sure it would kill me. As it is, I can hardly
And no wonder, poor woman! The monotony of
husband, a tolerably patient man, yet not quite a saint,
sometimes gets out of patience with her fretfulness and
whims, and wonders why a woman should make her-
self so miserable in a state which is only in fulfillment
of the requirements of nature; her irritableness irri-
tates everybody else; and she lives in a world of per-
petual discomfort. She is so sick and so miserable!
Besides, she is getting so heavy on her feet that she
can hardly drag herself about. No wonder sle
watches her more fortunate neighbor, who does not
seem to mind her condition at all, and who is as cheer-
ful and as active as ever. But her eyes are not opened
to the real cause of the better health of her neighbor.
She believes it is a case of constitutional or organic
difference between the two.

WHEN TO SEEK RETIREMENT..
245
ACTIVITY OF MIND AND BODY ESSENTIAL TO A
HEALTHY PREGNANCY.—The active life that I have
described, even though it may be indulged in but once
or twice a week, so that its duties overlap the week
and give variety of occupation and food for thought,
will be found of exceeding benefit. In such a case
there could be no charge of a woman neglecting her
family; for surely she might take that much time for
the benefit of her health without any one raising an
objection. If she were a fashionable woman, or a wo-
man devoted to society, no one would question her
right to amuse herself for that space. And if she
were a working woman, chained to a round of house-
hold duties, she would be compelled to neglect her
children daily in a hundred ways, which would
amount to more in the aggregate than the one or two
days a week of brief absence from home which I set
down as absolutely necessary for a woman's health and
comfort.
WHEN SHALL A PREGNANT WOMAN SEEK RE-
TIREMENT ?—“But,” I hear being asked on every side
by those to whom the whole notion is altogether new,
“at what period would you recommend her to give up
her public life, and retire to the quiet and seclusion
of home ?”
. On that day, my dear sirs and madams, that she
sends for her nurse, I should consider it advisable that
she should remain at home, especially if she have any
dread of a public hospital-not one day sooner!
"But the impropriety of the thing!"
21 *

246
CAN A WOMAN SMOKE?
PROPRIETY vs. POSSIBILITY.-I beg your par-
don, I was not discussing the proprieties. If I were
in Turkey, I should expect to hear the same objection
urged if, on the score of health, I recommended wo-
men to go out and breathe the fresh air unveiled,
The question of propriety was not referred to in the
smoking case—only of possibility; and I insist upon
it that we can smoke.
Where the absolute requirements of health and the
established ideas of propriety seem to come in collision,
each one must, I suppose, judge for himself or herself;
but to my mind there ought to be but one decision.
Our ideas of propriety depend greatly upon custom,
after all. And any man or woman who sees anything
improper or deserving of ridicule in the appearance of
a woman who is performing the natural functions of
her sex-functions God ordained, and of the highest
and most sacred character-must have a mind grovel-
ing in the very depths of pruriency.
Women must and do occasionally appear in public
in such a condition, inasmuch as we have emerged
somewhat from Oriental semi-civilization. And if it is
proper for one woman to make a single appearance be-
fore the public gaze on an errand of business or
pleasure, it is equally proper and allowable for all wo-
men to come and go with perfect freedom at the dic-
tates of pleasure or business. A single swallow may
not make a summer, but the single swallow heralds
the approach of summer all the same. When the first
Turkish woman has the courage to appear in the

FACTS CITED IN PROOF.
247
streets unveiled, and passes unmolested, there is noth-
ing to prevent the whole Turkish sisterhood from fol-
lowing her example with impunity, if they only have
the courage to do so.
FACTS CITED IN PROOF.--I shall not be surprised
if my declarations, so utterly at variance with profes-
sional utterance and accepted belief, are challenged.
But I am ready with my proofs. Women have done
these things—have done them without detriment to
their own health or that of their offspring : have done
them with positively beneficial results.
I can point to a lady physician, a professor in a
medical college, who attended her patients faithfully
to the last of her period of pregnancy. In the evening
she delivered her regular weekly or semi-weekly lec-
ture to the young lady medical students, and before
morning was the happy mother of a fine, healthy,
promising boy, whose subsequent years seem in no
way to belie the promises of his infancy, and who dis-
played, when last I saw him, no tendency to the
threatened “idiocy or invalidism ” which is to be the
normal condition of the children of so-called “strong-
minded women."
Jennie June (Mrs. Croly) is her husband's most
valuable and reliable assistant in the editorial manage-
ment of a leading New York paper, and the fashion
editress and correspondent of half a dozen more
newspapers and periodicals. She asserts that for years
she has always been regular in the fulfillment of her
duties, and punctually at her place in the editorial

248
CAN A WOMAN SMOKE ?
office; and though she is the still young mother of a
large family, has never on any occasion been absent
from her post more than three or four weeks at a time.
Though she does not coincide with me in all my
views, I think her conservatism is the result more of
à want of faith in the capacity and adaptability of wo-
men in general than from any conscious remissness
in domestic duties on her own part. I think I might
safely trust her to give testimony that her health has
never suffered from this tax upon her energies, or that
her children are less intelligent, less well behaved or
less healthful for it. And we all know her to be a
woman of superior intellect, enlarged ideas and ear-
nest thought-in brief, a woman in every respect a
credit to her sex; such a woman as never becomes de-
veloped in the confined home life in which it is the
lot of the majority to live.
There is Marian Harland (Mrs. Terhune), the
novelist, too, a woman of more than ordinary intelli-
gence and cultivation, an indefatigable worker with
her pen, the happy, proud and willing mother of a
bright and interesting family, and the author of a
cook-book which shows that she has found time, in
the midst of a multiplicity of literary duties, to give
attention to domestic matters in a way to profit not
only herself but others also.
ACCUMULATION OF EVIDENCÉ UNNECESSARY.—1
might go on multiplying instances of women whose
lives contradict the theory that seclusion and compara-
tive idleness are the natural and best states for a woman

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
219
through her child-bearing period. But I will not,
for I believe my case is sufficiently strong. I would
pause here, without giving my own evidence in con-
clusion, did I not believe, as I have already said, that
the experience of a single woman is worth volumes of
abstract theories.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.—A few years since I
became actively engaged in literary life. By "actively,"
I mean that I was obliged, by the nature of my en-
gagement, to be present in the editorial office, and
take more or less active charge of affairs, two or three
days in a week. Not long after I began this life, I
found that I was in a condition from which I then
feared-schooled as I was in all the old ideas in re-
gard to the matter, and with an active memory con-
cerning my extreme physical and mental disability on
all former occasions—that I would have to cancel my
engagement. I regretted this deeply, as the employ-
ment was so entirely to my taste.
However, I resolved to retain my position for a
few months at least, as long as my health permitted.
I went to the office, eight miles distant from home, by
carriage, boat, and on foot through the city, punctually,
three times a week; getting up in the morning, get-
ting breakfast, and putting things to rights before I
started at eight o'clock. Returned at four P. M., after
which I had the six-o'clock dinner to get. On the
alternate days at home I wrote, translated, read and
corrected manuscript, answered letters, examined books,
and gave personal and close attention to a large ex

250
CAN A WOMAN SMOKE?
change list—all this in addition to being housekeeper,
seamstress and teacher to a family of young children.
In the course of the summer the editor-in-chief took
a six weeks' holiday, and during that time I had en-
tire editorial and partial business management of two
monthly publications, while I performed my allotted
duties on two others with which I was connected. I
read proof, attended to the whole correspondence and
advertising business, saw printers and engravers, and
callers of every character; performing all these duties,
as I trust, thoroughly and satisfactorily.
Time wore on, and I waited patiently for my health
to fail me, but, strange to say, it refused to fail. This
was probably the busiest season of my life, physically
and mentally; but I persisted in feeling better and
stronger, more energetic and more ambitious to work,
from first to last. Every week I expected would be
the last one that I would be able to attend to my
duties; but I felt so much better all the time, and es-
pecially on my business days, that the time was con-
stantly delayed after which I was to go no more.
The time came at last. It was Tuesday, and before
the next day came round for my regular visit to the
city I lay in bed with a babe beside me.
I had walked, I had ridden, I had carried heavy
baskets and packages of books and papers. In no
way did I try to spare myself either physical or
mental exertion. Contrary to the prophecies of
chose over-wise people, my confinement, which on pre-
vious occasions had always been exceptionally severe,

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
251
was easy in comparison, and my illness of short dura-
tion.
It was but little more than a week before I was site
ting up in an easy-chair writing and arranging the
monthly record of fashions. And on the tenth day,
instead of being just allowed to rise from my bed,
only to go back again exhausted and the worse for the
exertion, as had been my best experience on previous
occasions, I walked from my bed-room to the carriage,
took a short ride, paid a visit to a sick acquaintance,
and returned home all the better for my exertion.
Exactly four weeks from the day of my last visit I
was back in my place in the office. The day was a
stormy one, and surprise and remonstrance at my ap-
parent recklessness preceded congratulation from every
one I met. But I knew perfectly well what I was
equal to, and the venture did me—not harm, but-
positive, evident, undeniable good, and the little
strength I still lacked seemed to come back with re-
newed impulse.
“But your poor babe !"
My “poor babe” was the best, the quietest, the
healthiest babe ever borne into the world. As a little
child she is now bright and active beyond her years
(though displaying no particular precocity, I am happy
to say), a perfect little woman in behavior, depending
on her own resources for amusement, always busy, yet
singularly free from any propensity toward mischief,
She flits about the premises in and out of doors all day
long, talking to the birds, chickens and insects, never

252
CAN A WOMAN SMOKE?
cross or fretful without reason, and without a suspi.
cion in her little soul that she is proving a largs
class of people the falsest of prophets, in not being
dwarfed or warped intellectually and physically, as a
punishment to her mother in violating all old-estab-
lished rules before she was born.
Does the reader wonder that I am a convert to the
theories this book propounds? Under the old régime
there was no misery of a pregnant woman that I did
not suffer to the utmost. Under the new, of my own
establishing, such a condition is robbed of its greatest
terrors. At such times I feel as well, as happy, as
cheerful and as hopeful as ever; I keep as busy, and
my mind is more than ever active.
Can any better experience be required? If the
change were not so marked, it would not be so signifi-
cant. But it is radical and entire, and the results are
not one of them as predicted, but all in every respect
satisfactory.
THE NEGLECTED BABIES. There is one oft-re-
peated cry which I have not yet referred to: “Who
will rock the cradle while the mother is thus absent
from home ?
Babies born under the new régime do not need to
have their cradles rocked.
As for the babies (bless them !) ever being neglected,
there is no more danger of that than there is that wo-
men, as a whole, or even a small proportion of them
large enough to form a class, will forswear ruffles and
ribbons and bows, become indifferent to the fashions,

DOES MARRIAGE CONTRACT WOMAN'S SPHERE? 253
or neglect to look in the glass whenever they put on
their bonnets.
INTELLECTUAL RETROGRESSION AFTER MAR-
RIAGE.—I knew a certain woman who married a man
with whom she was at least intellectually equal, if she
was not his superior. The years passed on and family
duties were pressing upon her, when she said despond-
ingly, "I can see that my husband is making intellect-
ual and moral progress every day, while I-I am not
even standing still; I can feel that I am constantly
losing ground.”
RETROGRESSION INEXCUSABLE.—There are many,
many women who could make the same bitter lament.
But the fault lies somewhere, usually with themselves,
though of course thėy are not conscious of this. They
are Marthas, neglecting the better part, while they
are fretting their lives away over little things. No
woman is just to herself, to her husband, or to her
children, who allows herself passively to drift back-
ward intellectually..
DOES MARRIAGE CONTRACT A WOMAN'S SPHERE?
-There is an almost universal belief that marriage
and the cares of a family necessarily contract a wo-
man's sphere, narrow her outlook and bring down the
horizon of her life to the bounds of domestic duties
alone. One of the greatest objections urged against
women entering public vocations is that of a necessity
they deteriorate mentally in the capacity of wife and
mother, and cannot keep pace with their less ham-
pered male companions and rivals. Marriage, if the

254
CAN A WOMAN SMOKE?
opportunities it offers are rightly improved, never does
this. It gives a woman broader views of life and
more valuable experiences. It is the college to which
all her previous life is but the preparatory school. It
gives her the capacity for deeper thought, richer af-
festions and more extended influence. In it there is
no need for retrogression, no excuse even for a pause
in mental and moral progress. And all this, instead
of unfitting a woman for maternal duties, will render
her more deeply sensible of the obligations resting upon
her and more capable of fulfilling them.
THE AFTERNOON OF LIFE.—The woman who
has attained the full stature of womanhood looks for-
ward to advanced life, not as to a period when, all her
work done, she can sit down quietly in the chimney
corner, and in the respected capacity of grand-
mother employ her hands with knitting and her
mind and tongue with trivial gossip. She looks
forward to it as a period when, her mind in the full
tide of its vigor, her affections ripened and chastened,
and her experiences complete, she will be ready to
resume her life-work with renewed energy. She
gathers in declining years the rich harvest of life—not
a harvest to be garnered in idleness, but with active,
earnest labor which will only cease at the command
of the great reaper, Death.
She may never reach all this. Health may fail.
Death may intervene. But this is what the conclue
sion of a woman's life should be—what it can be.

GENERAL DISEASES OF WOMEN.
FALLING OR DISPLACEMENT OF THE WOMB.
Falling of the womb is a complaint to which women
of all ages, both married and single, are subject. It
may prostrate a young girl who has just reached ma-
turity; it may make the life of the wife and mother
wretched; or it may attack a woman past the child-
bearing age and render the remainder of her existence
a weariness, if not a torture.
DESCRIPTION OF THE WOMB.—The womb, uterus
bladder in front and the rectum at the back. It bears
a resemblance both in size and shape to a moderately
large pear. The cervix or neck of the womb is small,
and gradually enlarges to the fundus or upper part.
Out of this part proceed the Fallopian tubes, two pas-
sages or ducts about three inches in length at the ends
of which are the ovaries. It is through the Fallopian
tubes that the ovaries pass during the monthly sick-
nesses. The womb is held in its place by broad liga-
ments extending to each side. When these ligaments
weaken from any cause and give way, the womb, be-
ing no longer held in place, falls into some improper
position.
255

256
GENERAL DISEASES OF WOMEN.
VARIOUS DISPLACEMENTS OF THE WOMB.—The
womb may incline too far forward, when it is called
ante-version; or båckward, when it is called retrover- .
sion. It may incline to either side, or it may descend
low down in the vagina. Again, it is subject to in.
version, and may come into full view outside the vagi:
nal passage.
CAUSES OF FALLING OF THE WOMB.—One of
the most frequent causes of prolapsus uteri is an im-
proper mode of dress. Tight lacing, with the bones
of the stays pressing upon the abdomen, can hardly
fail to more or less derange the uterine system. The
weight of heavy skirts suspended from the hips, and
necessarily bringing great strain upon the abdominal
muscles and viscera, is another certain cause. Too
hard physical labor, by bringing too great a strain
upon the muscles of the back, chest and abdomen, is
another prolific source of suffering in this direction.
On the other hand, a too idle, luxurious life tends to
relax the muscles of those parts. A fall or sudden
exertion may bring on the indications of this disease
in one who has hitherto been free from it. Constipa-
tion, with the consequent pressure upon the uterus of
the distended recțum, and the straining at stool, is
certain, if long continued, to produce falling of the
womb. An over-distended bladder, occasioned by
long retention of urine, will produce the same result.
A difficult or ill-conducted delivery is one of the
most frequent causes; so, also, a too greatly hastened
convalescence. Though I do not believe it is absolutely

SYMPTOMS OF FALLING OF THE WOMB.
257
necessary to remain for a long period in bed after de-
livery, especially if the woman feels able to get up;
still, no woman should ever return to the full care of
her household in less than one month, and, in cases on
extreme weakness and debility, a still longer period of
exemption from hard labor is necessary. It requires
one month at least to restore all the disturbed organs
to their proper places, reduce the womb to its proper
size, and bring strength and vigor back to the muscles.
SYMPTOMS OF FALLING OF THE WOMB.—The
physical and mental symptoms attendant upon dis-
placement of the womb are numerous and varied.
Some are common to all sufferers from the complaint;
others, though frequently encountered, are not always
experienced. There will be a heavy, dragging sensa-
tion in the lower part of the abdomen and about the
hips and loins; pain and weakness in the small of the
back, sometimes so great as to prevent an upright
position; weariness and difficulty in walking; painful
menstruation ; leucorrhoea or whites; a tired feeling
amounting to actual pain at the back of the neck, as
though the head had been long bent in an unnatural
position; a dragging sensation at the root of the
tongue, as though all the organs of the chest were
banging by their weight upon it; sometimes a fre-
quent desire to make water without the ability, and a
pressure upon the rectum producing feelings resem-
bling a slight tenesmus. The sufferer is only comfort-
able in a recumbent posture. She is affected by low or
variable spirits; will be of an uneven temper; and if
22 *

258
GENERAL DISEASES OF WOMEN.
of a nervous organization, easily excited and as easily
depressed. Hysteria, in some one of its many forms,
may develop itself.
MODE OF TREATMENT OF FALLING OF THE
WOMB.–Falling of the womb is not difficult to cure
if treated in season. Unfortunately, many women
suffer for a long time without having a suspicion what
is the matter with them.
First of all, the stays should be discarded and the
clothing loosened about the waist. The skirts must
be few and light, and worn with suspenders or waists
to relieve the hips, abdomen and back of pressure and
weight. Second, if the remodeling of the clothing
does not abate the bad symptoms, the womb must be
restored to and held in its proper place by the use of
a pessary. This must be first adjusted in the vaginal
passage by a physician, who should see that it fits
properly. The patient must learn to put it in and
take it out herself, as it should be frequently removed
and replaced. Third, some tonic is required to
strengthen the system and bring it up to the proper
degree of health. Diet and exercise may do much to-
ward this, but medicine is also required. Iron in some
form is frequently prescribed, and is, no doubt, benefi-
cial; of the muriated tincture of iron twenty drops is a
dose, taken in a little water. In taking this medicine
it should not be allowed to touch the teeth more than
can be avoided. Huxham's Tincture of Bark I have
found excellent, and I would recommend it in prefer
ence to iron.

ABDOMINAL SUPPORTER.
259
FALLING OF THE WOMB SOMETIMES INCURABLE.
-- Where falling of the womb comes on after the turn
of life, the use of a pessary may not effect a cure, but
it is, after all, the only means of relief. The ligaments
which support the womb have then become weakened,
and will never regain their strength.
ABDOMINAL SUPPORTER.—Those who are still in the
first stages of this disease may check its progress by
the use of a bandage or abdominal supporter, a dia-
gram of which is given below. Those also in whom
the disease has been found incurable will derive com-
fort from its use.
This bandage should be thirty-one inches across
the top and thirty-six inches across the bottom. It
should be seven inches in length on the front edges,
nine inches from top to bottom of the back and three
inches at the side seams. (It will, of course, be under-
stood that the measurements here given are only de-
signed to indicate the relative proportions of the band-
age. In practice, the actual measurements must be
made in reference to the size of the person who is to
wear the bandage.)
This bandage should be made of two thicknesses of
duck, and be fastened in front by lacing with a strong
cord. The dotted lines indicate the shape and position

200
GENERAL DISEASES OF WOMEN.
of pieces of stiff leather which are to be stitched in,
If the womb makes its appearance outside the vagina,
there should be buttons at the places indicated, and
straps crossing each other fastened from front to back,
for the purpose of holding in place a cushion which
will press upon the orifice of the vagina and prevent
the descent of the womb. The bandage should be put
on well down over the hips.
This bandage may be worn by a woman just re-
covering from confinement until she has acquired her
customary health and strength.
BAD EFFECTS OF CONSTANT USE OF BANDAGE.
—Those who have little or no hope of cure of their
troubles may wear this bandage all the time if it af-
fords them any relief. But young women, and those
in the first stages of the disease, had best make only
occasional use of it, putting it on perhaps when they
feel more than ordinarily uncomfortable, or when they
are about to make any extra exertion. This bandage
will not cure falling of the womb. It will alleviate
the suffering from it, but the disease still' remains;
and if the bandage is worn constantly, it is sure to ag-
gravate the complaint. By its constant use, the mus-
cles of the abdomen, being no longer obliged to act in
their natural capacity, become, in course of time, hope-
lessly debilitated.
PATENT BRACES AND ABDOMINAL SUPPORTERS.
-Let every woman suffering from “female weak-
ness” scrupulously avoid the use of braces and ab-
dominal supporters made of horn and metal, which

LEUCORRHEA, OR WHITES.
261
are so widely advertised and for which so much is
promised. The metal of which they are made be-
comes heated by contact with the body, and renders
their constant use even more disastrous in its results
than that of the cloth bandage.
PREGNANCY SOMETIMES A CURE FOR AFFEC-
TIONS OF THE WOMB.—Sometimes pregnancy alone
will work a cure for affections of the womb, and a
woman who has suffered before she became a mother
will, if she pass through parturition safely and pro-
pitiously, and does not injudiciously hasten her con-
valescence, find herself afterward completely restored
to health without any medical treatment whatever.
ULCERATION OF THE WOMB.—If a woman is sensi-
ble of soreness and a dull pain in the locality where
she supposes her womb to be, accompanied perhaps
with whites and many of the symptoms of prolapsus
uteri ; if, in case she is married, cohabitation is at-
tended with more or less suffering, ulceration of the
womb may be reasonably suspected. This requires
the attention of a physician, who can only ascertain
the true state of the case by the use of the speculum.
If attended to in time, it is easily cured.
LEUCORRHCA, OR WHITES.--Leucorrhoea, or whites,
also called fluor albus, is a discharge peculiar to deli-
cate women who are suffering from some form of “fe-
male weakness.” It is the result of an inflammation of
the inner surface of the womb, and is regarded by
most authorities as a disease in itself, and treated as
· such. Yet I am inclined to believe that it is not a

262
GENERAL DISEASES OF WOMEN.
separate and distinct disease-only a symptom of some
other disease. That it is almost invariably present in
all forms of female weaknesses is admitted; and when
there is no actual disease recognized, I think whites
may be regarded as an indication that there is more
or less weakness and disorder, which, if unattended to,
will result in disease.
Whether, however, the whites are considered as
cause or effect in the category of female troubles, the
remedies suggested will be equally efficacious. Ex-
treme cleanliness of the parts of generation—by the
means of baths and injections—is imperatively called
for. An injection of green tea may be used with
much benefit. Four or five grains of sugar of lead in
three or four tablespoonfuls of rain water will also be
found excellent in mild cases. White vitriol in about
the same proportions is also used to advantage. So is
also a decoction of oak bark or of nutgalls. In con-
junction with these washes, strengthening medicine
should be used.
Young girls approaching puberty are frequently
subject to whites. In their cases this symptom needs
no medical treatment whatever, as it simply indicates
the approach of menstruation. When that is fully
established, it will disappear.
DISEASES OF THE RECTUM AND ANUS.—Though
men as well as women are subject to diseases of the
rectum and anus, the latter are especially liable to
them. The weight of the womb bearing upon these
parts during pregnancy will frequently cause them.

REMEDIES FOR PILES.
263
Ignorance or. carelessness during delivery and subse-
quent confinement will often produce them. The
principal disorders of these organs are piles, fissure of
the anus and fistula. Of the latter I shall say noth-
ing, as it is so serious a trouble that it absolutely re-
quires the attention of a physician.
PILES.—Married women are especially subject to
piles, though men are by no means exempt. If means
are not early taken for their cure, they may become
fixed in their character, and torment one for a life-
time. In a previous chapter I have described their
symptoms and treatment. A severe delivery without
proper protection of the anus is one of the most fre-
quent causes of piles. Then the common use of castor
oil and other purgative medicines during confinement
can hardly fail to increase the tendency toward piles.
At that period all the parts in the neighborhood of .
the generative organs partake more or less of the
weakness and debility of those organs, and are conse-
quently exceedingly liable to affections. The woman
after her confinement, if she suffers any pain or diffi-
culty in this region, should be on her feet as little as
possible, though a certain amount of fresh air and ex-
ercise is necessary to bring her system up to that state
which shall render it less susceptible to disease. Fre-
quent bathing of the affected parts in cold water
should also be resorted to for the same purpose.
REMEDIES FOR PILES.—An ointment made by
simmering the bruised leaves of the Datura stramonium
or Jamestown weed in lard or fresh butter and adding

264
GENERAL DISEASES OF WOMEN.
a little laudanum to it will, if applied to the affected
parts, often afford speedy relief. Steaming over bitter
herbs, or a sitz-bath in a hot tea of these herbs or of
raspberry leaves, will relax the parts, allay irritability
and reduce inflammation. The sufferer should always
make use of a suppository either obtained at a drug-
gist's or cut from mutton suet, before having a move-
ment of her bowels.
FISSURE OF THE ANUS. This is a trouble differ-
ing from, yet similar in its causes and treatment to,
piles. It is the result of constipation combined with
tenderness, weakness and semi-inaction of the rectum
and muscles of the anus. The bowel is inclined to
protrude the same as in piles, and the membrane
which lines it tears or cracks. This fissure becomes
irritated and inflamed from the frequent passage of
the foeces over it. If constipation continues, the fis-
sure is constantly enlarged by the consequent strain and
stretching. The muscle surrounding the anus, called
the sphincter muscle, becomes subject to spasmodic
contractions causing the most intense pain. In severe
cases these contractions, with the attendant pain, will
continue for a large portion of the time. The woman
cannot remain on her feet more than a moment at a
time, nor can she keep any position long. Walking
especially aggravates the misery.
SYMPTOMS OF FISSURE OF THE ANUS.–Fissure
of the anus, unlike piles, disposes the sufferer from it
to desire a hard seat rather than a soft one. In case
of fissure, during the passage of the foeces a sharp, tear-

TREATMENT OF FISSURE OF THE ANUS.
265
ing sensation is experienced in the anus, and severe
pain follows the stool. During this pain, in trying
to pass the finger up into the rectum, the muscles will
be found tightly and rigidly drawn, so that the finger
cannot be forced through.
TREATMENT OF FISSURE OF THE ANUS.—The
constipated state of the bowels must be remedied at
once; for unless that is done, all attempts at cure are
useless. A diet of brown bread and fruit-apples
cooked and uncooked-with an abstinence from meat
and pastry, and all articles of a stimulating or
binding nature, will bring the bowels to a proper state
quickly and effectually. The usual method of medi-
cal treatment is to partially sever the sphincter mus-
·cle in order to prevent the contractions and relieve
the pain. In severe cases this may be necessary; but
if a fissure receives proper attention in its early stages, .
I think the use of the knife may be dispensed with.
Let the parts be kept scrupulously clean by careful
bathings in warm water after every passage of the
bowels, in order that no acrid matter may remain to
irritate the fissure. Sitting over a vessel containing
hot herb or raspberry leaf tea so full that the hot tea
shall touch the affected part will give great immediate
relief and help toward effecting a cure. Suppositories
may also be used before each stool to cool and lubri-
cate the rectum or lower bowel and reduce the
chances of irritation and tendency to inflammation,
Frequent cold baths will be advisable to bring back
the parts to a state of health and strength Whether
23

266
. GENERAL DISEASES OF WOMEN.
the sphincter muscle is severed or not, this course of
treatment is equally necessary. Carriage-riding will
be found of the utmost benefit in this trouble, as it
gives the required exercise without necessitating the
sufferer to be upon her feet. Anointing the affected
part with a mixture of glycerinc and tannin will
speedily cure the fissure. After that the stramonium
ointment recommended in piles will afford relief from
the pain and soreness.
THE MENOPAUSE OR CHANGE OF LIFE.—In a wo-
man's life there comes a time when she is released by
nature from the functional duties of motherhood.
This period occurs somewhere between the fortieth
and fiftieth years ; rarely either later or earlier. The
ovaries no longer produce ova, and the menstrual
flow ceases. There is a change in the woman's ap-
pearance, and frequently in her health.
BEST YEARS OF A WOMAN'S LIFE.—When she
has lived carefully and judiciously during her pre
vious life when she has passed through the years of
· her motherhood wisely and well, preserving her health
and husbanding her strength—this period should be
approached without apprehension. Once safely passed,
the years that follow it ought to be considered the
most precious and useful of a woman's life. At forty-
five a man is in his prime. At the same age so ought
: also to be a woman, with vigorous health, intellect
cultivated and energies unimpaired. She ought not
to expect to be called away by death for long years to
come, and these years should be full of active work.

WASTED OLD AGE.
267
The woman is now released from home duties. There
is no longer a baby to cry, or little ones to cling to
her and keep her a willing or unwilling prisoner
within home bounds. The years of motherhood, if
she has improved them rightly, have been years of
deep and earnest thought and of valuable experience.
They have been the school of her life, and she is now
called upon to make use of the knowledge she has
acquired. She may go out into the world; she may
confine herself to society or the church; or she may
not go beyond the limits of her own home-circle; but
wherever she is, she should be an active worker and
a wise and prudent counselor.
WASTED OLD AGE.—If, on the other hand, the
girl's entrance into woman's estate was signalized by
pain and suffering; if child-bearing has been torture
and motherhood weariness; if in the spirit of self-
sacrifice she has considered the wishes or even the
comfort of her family before her own imperative
physical and mental needs, and has thus been spend-
thrift of the vitality and energy of a lifetime during
the years of wifehood and motherhood—then she may
well approach the critical period of the change of life
with fear and trembling. Nature is an inexorable
creditor, and will demand payment of all debts in-
curred to the last penny. In this case she can only
look forward to a premature old age; a time in which
she must sit for long years in the chimney-corner,
knitting perhaps, or dandling a grandchild; growing
weak and querulous; the gossip of the neighborhood

268
GENERAL DISEASES OF WOMEN
her only intellectual food, its scandal her greatest es
citement. She can look forward to an early approach
of second childhood, and know that, unless her chile
dren possess more than an ordinary amount of filial
affection, she will sink at last into an unwept grave
because “she had so long outlived the period of her
usefulness.” The picture is a gloomy but a true one
in many cases
As the sufferings and perils of approaching puberty
and maternity are the undoubted results either of
organic deficiencies or of some violation of natural
law, so these same causes will operate to make the
second great change in the life of a woman painful
and dangerous.
SYMPTOMS OF CHANGE OF LIFE. — When the
period of the change of life is at hand, the menstrual
flow may suddenly cease and never again appear; or
it may become irregular, going and coming at greater
intervals of time. It may be more scant than usual,
or it may come on with flooding. The woman may
experience the symptoms of pregnancy, and for some
months believe herself in that condition. She may
be subject to flushes of heat followed by chilliness;
palpitation of the heart, pains in the back and loins,
even symptoms of hysteria. It may be well for the
woman to place herself under the care of a physician,
but there is little to be feared. Even the flooding
need not be checked unless it be too profuse. It is
only an effort of nature to avert the evils which re-
sult from plethora. Sometimes, instead of flooding,
there is frequent bleeding at the nose, or even spit-

DISORDERS INCIDENT TO CHANGE OF LIFE. 269
ting of blood. These result from the same cause, and
one in no wise dangerous.
The nervous and mental systems may become de-
ranged in sympathy with the physical changes going
on. Serenity of mind and patience should be striven
for, and there should be no giving way to morbid
apprehensions.
TREATMENT FOR THE DISORDERS INCIDENT TO
CHANGE OF LIFE.—The reader will probably smile
when I give my own invariable prescription for all
the ills which female flesh is heir to-namely: careful
diet, exercise in the open air, and occupation. If the
woman is of full habit, she should at once subject her-
self to the plainest and most sparing diet—a diet dif-
fering little from that to be used during pregnancy.
She should abstain from meat, from rich food of all
kinds, and especially from wine, beer and other stim-
ulants. On the other hand, if her system is debili-
tated, her food should be nourishing in character, and
tonics may be used with advantage.
A spice plaster on the pit of the stomach may re-
lieve unpleasant sensations, or “goneness,” there; and
a teaspoonful of aromatic spirits of ammonia diluted
in water and taken internally will probably restore
equilibrium to the nervous system. The pains in the
back and loins can be allayed by applications of hot
mustar' water, or laudanum and water.
Certain diseases are more liable to develop them-
selves at this period than at any other. A woman
who has been careless and injudicious in regard to
22 *

270
GENERAL DISEASES OF WOMEN.
her health, and who has worked too early and too
hard during motherhood, need not be surprised if she
finds herself a victim without apparent cause to pro-
lapsus uteri. The muscles and ligaments of the womb,
if they have been overstrained, relax entirely at this
period, and prompt medical assistance can alone pre-
vent her from being a sufferer to the end of her life.
Cancers and tumors of the uterus and breast are
more liable now to develop themselves. Where their
existence is suspected, medical advice ought at once to
be sought, as they can sometimes be arrested or re-
moved in their early stages. However, these affec-
tions are not so common that women need give way
to fears until there are actual indications of their
presence.
Fraught as this period of life seems to be with
danger and difficulty to women, it is, after all, more
so in seeming than in reality. Statistics of mortality
prove that more men than women die between the
ages of forty and fifty. So that the period of change
may safely be regarded only as a few months of in-
convenience at worst. At best, and according to the
intentions of nature, it may signify nothing at all
save the opening of the doors of life into improved
and thoroughly established health, with in no wise
decreased faculties for enjoyment, and with enlarged
opportunities for usefulness.

CHAPTER XVI.
MANAGEMENT OF AN INFANT.
THE BABE'S FIRST BATH. Take the babe upon
the lap, and keeping it well covered except the part
being washed, commence by greasing with lard the
head, ears, creases of the neck and other parts where
the white slimy matter shall have accumulated.
Then, with a soft rag or sponge, wash carefully with
warm water, using freely of white castile or glycerine
soap to remove the grease. If there is much slime, it
is not absolutely necessary that it should be all re-
moved at once. The red rash which is frequently
seen on new-born infants is the result of too vigorous
soaping and rubbing. A second or third washing
will remove whatever remains.
WASHING THE BABE IN WHISKY.—The use of
whisky in the first bath of an infant is not only un.
necessary, but absolutely wrong. I have not only
seen it used, but a few teaspoonfuls of sweetened
whisky and water given to the child at the conclusion
of the path to induce it to sleep. I cannot believe
that a babe should spend the opening hours of its life
in drunken stupor, and this is what the whisky bath
and dose amount to.
THE BABE'S FIRST TOILET.-The first article to put
271

272
MANAGEMENT OF AN INFANT.
on the child is the band. This should be of soft, fine
flannel, and must be smaller around the lower edge than
around the upper one, to fit the natural shape of the body.
Before putting on the band take a piece of old cot-
ton about four inches square, fold it four double, cut
a hule in the middle of the folded piece, grease the
cloth, and through the hole put the navel cord, after
examining it to see that it is securely tied. Fold the
lower edge up, and then over this cloth place the band,
fastening it behind. The band should be only long
enough to go once around the body. The band should
be loose enough to allow full and unconstrained free-
dom to all the organs of the chest.
Diaper and stockings come next, and then the
shirt, which latter should be of fine linen. The flan-
nel petticoat should be made with sleeves or straps,
and buttoned (never pinned) loosely, so that there will
not be the slightest compression about the waist. A
loose, long-sleeved night-gown, gathered and fastened
at the neck with a string, completes the infant's first
toilet. Then, with a blanket wrapped about its
shoulders, and brought well up about its head, the
child is ready to be put in bed with its mother.
SEPARATION OF THE NAVEL CORD.—It is best to
defer the second washing and dressing of the infant
until after the navel cord conies off, which will prob-
ably be in from four to seven days. It should in no
case be hurried, but be left to take its time. Let the
examination of the cord be made with the utmost
care, lesi it be loosened and torn away before it is

ARTIFICIAL FOOD FOR THE BABE.
273
quite ready to come off. When it is found detached,
tear a small square of the old handkerchief already
mentioned as one of the contents of the baby's basket,
and greasing it with mutton tallow, lay it over the
navel, to cure what soreness and tenderness may still
remain' there. If the navel looks red and sore, dust
it daily or oftener with potters' clay. A few days
will make it quite well.
POTTERS' CLAY. - Potters' clay is indispensable
in the nursery. Not only is it of use in curing an in-
flamed and raw navel, but it is an article of daily need.
If soreness and rawness are found in the child's groins,
in the creases of its neck, under its arms or behind
its ears, a frequent dusting of potters' clay will heal
the affected places. It can be obtained ready prepared
of most druggists.
FOOD FOR THE NEW-BORN BABE.—The only
food the new-born babe requires is its mother's milk.
The first milk which the breasts contain is called
colostrum, and is purgative in its character, and will
clear the child's bowels of the meconium or tar-like
substance with which they are filled previously to
birth. Never under any circumstances give the child
anything else, until that has been thoroughly tried
and found insufficient; never in any case take any
measures with the babe without a consultation with
and the consent of the mother.
ARTIFICIAL FOOD FOR THE BABE.—If, as some-
times occurs, the milk comes very slowly for the first
day or two, and the child is a healthy, vigorous one,

274
MANAGEMENT OF AN INFANT.
and seems to fret with hunger, then the best and the
only allowable food for it is made by taking a little
cream adding about three times its quantity of warm
water, and sweetening slightly with white sugar. If
cream cannot be obtained, milk will do, though it is
not so good, and less water must be used. Feed the
child, with either spoon or bottle, small quantities at
a time, until its hunger seems appeased.
SHALL THE MOTHER NURSE HER BABE ?-If a
woman is able to nurse her babe, it is far better that
she should do so. In some cases the matter is not
optional, as her milk gives out at the end of a few
weeks, and no effort will retain it. If the woman is
liable to such a loss of milk, the more active her life,
the longer she will be able to nurse her child. By
activity I do not mean performance of hard labor,
which, by its tax upon the system, is more likely to
lessen the flow of milk than to increase it. It is far
better for the babe to be nursed by its mother than
to be brought up in any other manner; and I need
not say to any mother that it will be far more satis-
factory to her.
USE OF MALT LIQUORS BY A NURSING MOTHER,
-Let no nursing mother be induced by physician or
friend to drink porter or ale to increase her flow of
milk and give her strength. It is, in my opinion,
feeding the babe on poison. And if, unfortunately,
the child has any hereditary tendency toward a love
of strong drink (and such traits are undoubtedly
transmitted by inheritance), this course is actually

CIRCUMSTANCES FORBIDDING NURSING.
275
fostering the tendency, so that it will be all the more
likely to develop itself in after years. A babe fed on
such nutriment will often accumulate fat. But this
accumulation is not a sign of health, even if, in ordi-
nary circumstances, extreme fatness is desirable in an
infant, which I very much doubt. Such a child is
more liable to sickness than another, and will more
readily succumb to it.
How A NURSING MOTHER SHOULD OBTAIN
STRENGTH.—There are other ways than this for a
mother to obtain strength. More nutritious food,
more exercise in the open air and less hard work will
generally be found quite as apparently beneficial in
their results as the use of porter and ale, and far more
so in reality.
CIRCUMSTANCES FORBIDDING FURTHER NURSING
OF A BABE.—When a mother finds herself again
pregnant, she should immediately discontinue the
nursing of her babe. Most women continue nursing
as long as possible, seeing no harm to any one but
themselves, and believing that, as long as their
strength permits, they are justified in this double
drain upon their systems. But as bad as such a
course is for a woman, it is still worse for one or
both babes. The mother's milk no longer possesses
the same nutritive properties, and one or both chil-
dren are very liable, in consequence of this double
drain upon the mother, to be weakly or even to de-
velop rickets, the traces of which, though the disease
itself be outgrown, they will probably bear to the end

276
MANAGEMENT OF AN INFANT.
of their lives in some deformity more or less un-
shapely. Mothers are ignorant in this matter, and it
is something that seldom comes to the knowledge of a
physician until too late for remonstrance. Many a
mother has mourned over the weakness and deformity
that she herself was to blame.
SUITABLE WET-NURSE.—If the mother finds it
impossible to nurse her babe, a wet-nurse whose con-
finement corresponds as nearly as possible to her own
is the best substitute.
Cow's MILK FOR A BABE.—Wet-nurses are, how-
ever, beyond the means of many people. The next
best thing is to obtain fresh cow's milk from a cow re-
cently come in.” (The milk should be from one cow.)
Cream is better than milk, but it is not always attain-
able. Milk should be used at the first in a little more
than an equal quantity of water, the whole slightly
sweetened. As the child increases in age the water
may be diminished, until at last it is omitted alto-
gether.
NURSING BOTTLE.—An ordinary glass bottle hold-
ing from two to four ounces, and with a top small
enough to allow a rubber nipple to go over it without
tearing, will serve every purpose of a nursing bottle.
Do not on any account obtain those patent affairs with
long rubber tubes. They are convenient inasmuch
as they allow the child to nurse without the necessity
of holding the bottle to its mouth. But there is no
possible way of keeping the rubber tube clean; and

CARMINATIVES AND SOOTHING SYRUPS.
277
the coating of milk in various stages of decomposition
which must of vecessity cling to its sides, and through
which the infant's food must pass, cannot fail to make
that food unwholy some and cause derangement of the
child's stomach. .
FAILURE OF TRE BABE TO MAKE WATER.-If
the babe should nur pass its water for a day or two
following its birth, no apprehensions need be felt.
But if a longer timu should elapse, it may be well
to administer to it a little watermelon-seed, pump-
kin-seed, or flaxseed wea, either of which will prob-
ably produce the desired effect.
COLIC AND ACIDITY OF THE STOMACH.-If the
babe seems to suffer from colic and acidity of the
stomach and bowels, a quarter of a teaspoonful of
pulverized slippery-elm bark, thoroughly mixed with
sugar and added to the milk with which the babe is
fed, may give relief.
CARMINATIVES AND SOOTHING SYRUPS.-Do not
on any account give carminatives or soothing syrups
of any kind whatever to an infant, no matter how
widely they may be advertised or how universally
recommended. They all contain opiates, and are un-
qualifiedly injurious to the child. Nor can the direct
use of opiates be condemned in too strong words.
The mother who gives her babe paregoric or lauda-
num in any form is administering a deadly poison,
which, if it do not result in early death, is sure to
injure the constitution and ruin the nervous system
of the babe.
24

278
MANAGEMENT OF AN INFANT.
HOW OFTEN TO NURSE A BABE.—Do not nurse
or feed a babe too often. Once in an hour and a half
is often enough to put a new-born infant to the breast,
and as it grows older the time may be slightly ex-
tended. Children sometimes cry from other reasons
than hunger. Their clothing may be uncomfortable
in some manner; or they may be tired of the position
in which they are lying or sitting, and want a change;
or they may have been spoiled from too much holding
(no one but a mother knows how early a babe can con-
tract bad habits in this respect), and may object to
lying unnoticed in their cradles, and want to be taken
up in arms.
GENERAL MANAGEMENT OF A BABE.—The rule
for a mother of a healthy infant to adopt is that it is
best both for herself and her child that it shall give
her as little trouble as possible. A babe should sel-
dom be in arms except to have its wants attended to.
It may be sometimes taken up for a change, but these
times should be exceptional ones. It should be ac-
customed to be laid down awake in its cradle, and to
go to sleep of itself with little or no rocking. It
should acquire the habit of going to sleep for the
night at an early hour in the evening, and of remain-
ing quiet, with the exception of being nursed twice
perhaps, until morning. This last is one of the most
important of rules, for it leaves the evening and night
free for the tired and perhaps overtaxed mother.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH A FAMILY. I am
giving all these directions concerning the management

IMPROPER FEEDING OF A BABE.
279
of infants, not from a theorist's standpoint, but from
actual experience with a large family of as happy
healthy, well-behaved infants as any one could desire
--infants concerning whom it has been repeatedly
said, when necessity or inclination called me away
from them for a few hours, that they gave so little
trouble and were so quiet that one would never
have known there was a baby in the house.
TRUE KINDNESS TO A BABE.—It is not cruelty
to treat a child thus. It is the very best of kindness.
It saves the mother, the child and everybody con-
cerned a great deal of trouble. It is, besides, begin-
ning the education of the infant from its very birth,
and after it gets old enough to play and notice things
throwing it upon its own resources for amusement
and teaching it to be self-dependent and self-reliant.
IMPROPER FEEDING OF A BABE.—Another thing
of the utmost importance in the management of an
infant is never to feed it anything beyond its regular
milk food until it is nearly or quite a year old, or
until teething has well commenced. The results of a
lisregard of this rule are everywhere seen in fretful
infants whose bowels are constantly out of order, who
are subject to attacks of summer complaint, and who
suffer severely, and even lose their lives, in teething.
Children who are thus fed are certain to suffer in
teething, as the use of solid food causes the hardening
of the teeth and jaws beyond what nature intends, and
makes the growth of the former much more painful.
Still, in adhering strictly to this rule parents will

280
MANAGEMENT OF AN INFANT.
have to combat a host of friends and relatives, all
Jeeply interested in the well-being of the babe, and
whose beliefs and practices have all been the reverse.
In my own experience, when I held scrupulously
to the milk diet, the results were most satisfactory
Trouble and pain in teething were unknown, and my
babes’ “second summer” was no harder than the first.
“ LONGINGS” OF THE BABE.—Let no young
mother be persuaded to try her babe with one article
of food after another in the belief that, because it hap-
pens to put out its tongue occasionally, it wants some-
· thing which it must certainly have, if the right thing
can be found.
“Why,” said one excellent woman, “I gave my
habe a pickled bean to suck when he was only six
weeks old because he put out his tongue for it and
wanted it.”
“Well,” I replied, “I should judge from his pres-
ent state of health, that he had been fed upon pickled
beans and things of a like appropriate character when
he was a baby.”
There might have been a slight touch of cruelty in
the answer, but my excuse must be that I was exas-
perated beyond my powers of patience. There was,
besides, such an opportunity for a retort, as the man
who, as a babe, had sucked pickled beans, was a con-
firmed dyspeptic, dating back his sufferings as far, at
least, as memory would carry him; and had probably
never known a day of perfect health in his life..
WEANING.— A child should be weaned when it is

SHALL THE BABE SLEEP WITH ITS MOTHER? 281
about a year old. If the second summer is approach.
ing, it may be well to carry the nursing through the
hot months, as that is the most trying period in an in-
fant's life. The change from one sort of food to
another should be gradual; milk should still form an
important article of diet, and it should be long before
any but the simplest articles of food are given it.
SHALL THE BABE SLEEP WITH ITS MOTHER ?---
There is a difference of opinion regarding the expe-
diency of the babe sleeping with its mother. Much
can be said on both sides of the question. I think in
warm weather it is not an injudicious plan for the
babe to lie in a separate bed, the mother rising twice
perhaps during the night to suckle it. By this plan
the babe acquires regular habits in nursing, and the
mother is secured that quiet sleep which she could not
have if the babe was in her arms and making frequent
demands upon her. However, in this case she should
be a light sleeper, that she may waken at the least sign
of disquiet on the part of the babe.
In the winter I believe the safest and best place for
a babe at night is in its mother's arms. A child will
not keep itself protected from the cold. Its little
arms and legs instinctively throw off all burdens,
without any regard to the temperature, so that the
mother can only keep it properly warmed by having
it with her. Otherwise she may be awakened some
night by the hoarse bark of croup; or the severe
colds contracted by exposure may result in inflamma-
tion of the lungs.
44*

282
MANAGEMENT OF AN INFANT.
TEMPERATURE OF INFANT'S SLEEPING-ROOM.-
Notwithstanding all that has been said and written
against fires in sleeping-apartments, I cannot believe
that it is well for any one to sleep in a perfectly cold
room. Those in robust health may be able to endure
it without injury or inconvenience, but even they run
a risk. For persons of ordinary health and endur-
ance the temperature of a sleeping apartment should
seldom be allowed to descend below 55° or 60° Fahr-
enheit. And it should never be less than this in an
infant's sleeping-room. This temperature should be
maintained at the same time with a thorough system
of ventilation.
HOW LONG TO RETAIN THE BAND UPON AN IN-
FANT.-A month is a sufficiently long time for a
healthy infant to wear its belly-band. If this band
is taking off in cool or cold weather, flannel shirts
should be put at once upon the child, so that it will
feel no evil effects from its removal.
DAILY BATH.-An infant should almost from the
first day of its life be subject to a daily bath. As
soon as expedient it should take its bath in a tub or
basin instead of being sponged while lying in the lap.
The water should be tepid, as the shock from cold
water is too great. The child's head should be wet
before it is put into the bath. It should then be
briskly washed with a cloth or sponge. Castile or
glycerine soap should be used. All the creases of the
body should be washed carefully and wiped gently
and dry. If the infant is a female, the different parte

OPEN-AIR EXERCISE FOR A BABE.
283
of the genital organs should be separated, washed
and wiped, to prevent soreness or adhesion.
OPEN-AIR EXERCISE FOR A BABE.—Next to
water, fresh air is of importance to the babe. From an
early period in its life it should be accustomed to daily
exercise in the open air when the weather is favorable
In cold weather this exercise should not be suspended,
but the child must be well protected by woolen wraps
against the cold. If it wears a cloak, it ought under
this to have a warm, closely-fitting knit jacket. The
feet and legs too should be well covered. But there is
no advantage in taking a child into the fresh air so
closely wrapped about with shawls that not the
smallest portion of it can reach its nostrils. It should
not even wear a veil over its face. It ought to be sa
well accustomed to the light withindoors that its eyes
will need no protection.
SLEEP OF AN INFANT.—A new-born infant ought
to sleep a larger part of the time. Those who sleep
much thrive well; those who sleep little soon become
puny and nervous, and lose what few advantages they
may have possessed at birth.
AIDS TO AN INFANT'S SLUMBER.—Before the babe
falls asleep it must be seen that it needs no change of
diapers. Its clothes must be loosened if they are
tight in any degree, and smoothed and straightened,
so that they shall in no way cause discomfort. Its
bed must be perfectly dry, and the pillow shaken up.
When it is asleep, it must be laid carefully down, and,
if the weather is cold, covered warmly. An open

284
MANAGEMENT OF AN INFANT.
cradle is best, with a single hoop extending over the
head of it, over which in summer must be thrown a
large square of musquito-netting to keep out flies,
gnats and mosquitoes. This is an indispensable are
rangement. Without it the child's sleep will be
restless and disturbed, while a handkerchief or veil
thrown over its face for protection excludes the air.
ATTENTION TO THE BOWELS.—A mother should
carefully attend to the condition of her babe's bowels.
The motions should be of a bright yellow color, in-
clining to orange, and of the consistence of thick
gruel. If they are slimy, curdled, green or too thin,
it is an indication that the mother must make some
change in her own diet.
As soon as the babe is old enough to sit up with
support, it should, the first thing after leaving the bed
in the morning, be placed in an infant's chair. This
should be repeated several times during the day. The
child will finally fully understand the purpose for
which it is placed in the chair, and diapers can thence-
forth be laid aside.
LEARNING TO WALK.—A child usually begins to
walk about the twelfth or fourteenth month of its
life. This is quite early enough, though some walk
as soon as the tenth month. Even though the child
should not begin to walk until a much later period,
there should be no attempt to hasten walking, unless
it is perfectly evident that the child is backward
through excess of caution alone.

CHAPTER XVII.
THE DRESS OF AN INFANT.
LOOSENESS NECESSARY IN AN INFANT'S CLOTH-
ING.--The most important point to be observed in the
dressing of an infant is looseness of the clothing about
the waist. No article of dress should be fastened
tight enough to hold it in place without shoulder-
straps. Every skirt ought to be made with a waist,
either with sleeves or broad straps, and buttoned so
loosely that the garment shall hang directly from the
shoulders.
I remember once, shortly after I had dressed a new-
born infant, and when my notions in regard to loose-
ness were not so radical even as they are now, in
came the child's grandmother, and very naturally ex-
amined the babe to see if all was right.
“Oh dear!” she exclaimed; "you have got every-
thing too loose. It will never do!” So she, on the
strength of her grandmotherhood and in pity for my
youth and inexperience, good-naturedly gave me a
lesson on the proper method of dressing a baby.
“That is the way to do it,” she said as she bundled
up the little thing so tightly that he could scarcely
oreathe “That is the way we dress Hannah
285

286
THE DRESS OF AN INFANT.
(another grandchild, a few months old), and you ought
to see what a beautiful shape she has got already."
I think it will be needless to say that as soon as
grandmother's back was fairly turned I relieved the
babe of its misery by loosening all its bandages again.
Again, I was once making a call, and at the house
of my friend I found a visitor. Among other sub-
jects of conversation, she told me the trouble a friend
of hers was having with her young babe, it being
afflicted with hernia.
“She has made the band just as tight as she can,
and has sewed it to keep it firmly in place, and still
the child gets worse instead of better.”
“No wonder,” I replied; "tell her from me that
the tighter she draws the bandage, the worse the child
will get; and that, if she wishes to see him cured,
she must make all his clothing just as loose as she
can get it to stay on him.”
Tight CLOTHING A CAUSE OF HERNIA.—Both
navel hernia and hernia of the groin may be caused
and aggravated by tight clothing. If the bowels are
pressed too tightly, Nature, in her effort to find room
for them, will press them out in the least protected
place. They will naturally protrude through the
still tender and perhaps only partially united navel,
or they will break through the delicate tissues below
the band.
LENGTH OF AN INFANT'S CLOTHING.—The second
important point in regard to infant's clothing is not
to make it too long. I never see an infant's dress

INFANT'S WARDROBE.
287
trailing a yard more or less below its feet that I do
not feel a sincere compassion for the infant whose del-
icate muscles are made to sustain such a weight, and
whose little active feet are thus fettered. A mother
is guilty of actual sin against her infant who makes
its clothing more than a yard in length from neck to
lower edge of the skirt. If I varied from this length,
I would make it shorter rather than longer. It should
be long enough to protect the little limbs from ex-
tremes of cold and heat, and at the same time not to
impede their free motion. Seven-eighths or three
fourths of a yard serves this double purpose ad
mirably.
WARMTH OF AN INFANT'S CLOTHING.—Thirdly,
the mother will never, if she cares to preserve the
life and health of her child, allow its neck and arms
to go exposed either summer or winter. Physicians
tell us that more children perish directly or indirectly
from needless exposure of this kind than from any
other single cause.
INFANT'S WARDROBE.— Every expectant mother
must give serious consideration to the making or buy-
ing of an infant's wardrobe. If she is blessed with
abundant means and does not like needlework, she
can procure a complete outfit for seventy-five or one
hundred dollars, and save herself further thought in
the matter. One hundred dollars, or even seventy-
five dollars, is a large sum for people of moderate
means to expend for this purpose; so that it is not
strange if many women prefer to obtain patterns at

288
TUE DRESS OF AN INFANT.
a trifling cost, procure the materials and make the
garments themselves. But the patterns usually to be
obtained at pattern-stores are far from satisfactory to a
mother who would see her child comfortably, health-
fully and sensibly dressed. For the benefit of such
mothers I will give full directions for the making of
a wardrobe ample in all its provisions, in which
beauty, comfort and economy are combined, though of
course it is susceptible of increased expense if desira-
ble. In my estimate I allow nothing for the making,
taking it for granted that this will be done at home.
LIST OF ARTICLES, WITH ESTIMATED Cost.
3 flannel bands, at.20...
.............$ .60
2 barrecoats,
66.30................
............... .60
3 flannel skirts,
.............. 2.25
3 cotton skirts, “.33} ............
1.00
1 tucked,
1 embroidered,
1.25
3 night-dresses, at .333
1.00
6 linen shirts, 6.20..
1.20
4 day-dresses,
3.00
2 print wrappers ".30.......
1 robe, not more than ....
3.00
3 pairs knitted socks,“ .25......
75
1 blanket,
1.00
Diapers, not more than.........
Sundries ....
66.75...
45
".75.....
60
..
"
.......
......
..........
3.00
.
.
.
- 30
Total ..................................................
20.00
......................................
This estimate is capable of great reduction. It is
porfectly safe to say that ten dollars will procure the
material for a complete, comfortable and tasteful
wardrobe for an infant.

FLANNEL PETTICOAT.
289
FLANNEL BAND.-The band should be of soft
flannel, five or six inches in width and fifteen inches
in length. In the lower edge there should be trian-
gular darts taken to make it fit the child's abdomen.
It may or may not be hemmed. In putting it on the
child the hems and darts should be on the outside.
One half yard of flannel, which should not cost more
than thirty cents, will make three bands and leave
something to spare.
BARRECOAT.—The barrecoat is a small petticoat
made of a single breadth of flannel, put on for the
purpose of protecting the infant's garments from
stains and wet. It is sometimes called the pinning
blanket. Let it be half a yard in length, with a
narrow binding at the top, supplied with four but-
tons at equal distances, which are to be fastened into
corresponding button-holes in the flannel petticoat.
By this arrangement the barrecoat can be changed as
frequently as necessary without disturbing the rest of
the dress. One yard of sixty-cent flannel will make
two barrecoats.
FLANNEL PETTICOAT.-This is best made gored,
as then there is little or no fullness at the waist. Cut
the skirt in two breadths, twenty inches in length,
each breadth twenty-four inches in width at the bot-
tom and twelve at the top. By having a seam up the
middle of the back, and fitting one gore into another
in cutting, two yards and a half of flannel will make
three petticoats. The bottom should be rounded to
suit the slope of the gores. Put a hem about an inch
25
T

290
THE DRESS OF AN INFANT.
in width at the bottom. After sewing up the seams,
open their edges and whip them down on each side,
The waist should be of cotton, unlined, seven inches
long from the shoulder down, and should be nineteen
inches around after the hems are turned down at the
back. It should be made tolerably high in the neck,
the seam on the shoulders about two inches long.
There should be buttons and button-holes at the back.
It is well to have two rows of buttons; or folds may
be laid over in front and back, to remain until the
child shall grow to fit the waist. There should be
four button-holes at equal distances along the lower
edge of the back of the waist, corresponding with the
buttons of the barrecoat. The buttons used on the
petticoat should be small and flat, as should be all
the buttons used in the wardrobe.
COTTON SKIRTS.—The cotton skirts may be made
of cambric or fine thin muslin, according as economy
may dictate. If the latter, the cost should range from
fourteen to eighteen cents per yard. The skirt should
be made of two breadths, either gored or straight. It
should be cut twenty-four inches in length, and a hem
of one and one-half inches be put at the bottom. The
waist is made the same as that of the flannel petticoat.
Four yards and one-quarter will make three skirts
Five yards of muslin will make the skirts, and enoug i
? material will be left for the waists of the flann. I
petticoats.
TUCKED SKIRT.-Two yards of soft fine bleached
muslin, lawn or jaconet, at a cost of not more than

NIGHT-DRESS.
291
twenty-five cents per yard, will make the tucked petti-
coat, skirt and waist.
EMBROIDERED SKIRT.—One and one-half yards of
the same material used for the tucked skirt will make
this skirt. Two yards of embroidery, at not more
than fifty cents per yard, will finish it.
LINEN SHIRT.—The little shirts should be made
of fine linen lawn, which may be bought of good
quality at sixty cents. Cut a straight piece of the
linen, nine inches wide and nineteen long. Cut, five
inches from each end, slits four inches in length for
the armholes. Slant off one half inch of the upper
edge for the shoulders and sew them together, making
a seam about one inch and one-half in length. In
the lower part of the slit put in a small gusset cut
half square in form. Hem all round for the armholes,
and put on trimming. Slope out the neck front and
back. One and one-half yards will make six shirts,
and something to spare.
NIGHT-DRESS.—The night-dress should be of soft
muslin, lawn or nansook, which ought not to cost
more than eighteen punts per yard. It should be cut
twenty-eight inches in length, measuring from the
shoulder down. Cut it gored, with no extra fullness,
the sleeves being cut out of the strips left from the
gores. The sleeves should be seven inches long, four
inches wide at the top and three and one-half inches
at the wrist. The gown should be made high in the
neck, with shoulder seams three inches long, and a
hem around the top in which a drawing-string is run

292
THE DRESS OF AN INFANT.
to tie behind. It should be open about ten inches
down the back. Four and one-half yards of material
will make three night-gowns.
PRINT WRAPPER.-A wrapper can be cheaply and
prettily made of some small delicate-figured print with
a white ground. It should be cut plain, gored, long
sleeved and high necked. It should be similar in
pattern to the night-gown, only it is to be open in
front. It may be left open all the way down, and
buttoned up. It can be trimmed with ruffles or nar-
row lace, or with strips of brightly-colored lawn or
suitably figured print. It should be twenty-seven
inches in length. Three yards will make two wrap-
pers.
DAY DRESS.—This may be made of plain or
striped nansook, or of lawn, or of any material that is
soft and bears washing well. A dress should not be
more than thirty-two inches from shoulder to bottom
of the skirt. Its general form should be gored, with
high neck and long sleeves. It may be made per-
fectly plain, or may be trimmed in a variety of ways
all simple, easy and inexpensive. I will give sugges-
ions concerning the making of these little dresses far-
ther on. One and three-fourths yards will make a
dress.
ROBE.—If the wardrobe is not considered completo
without a robe, this may be made of somewhat more
expensive material than the dresses, at a cost perhaps
of thirty-seven and one-half or forty cents per yard.
Two and one-half yards are ample to make the robe-

QUANTITY OF MATERIAL AND COST.
293
lesta may áo. A pretty way to make this is to cut the
bach perfectly plain like the other dresses; cut the
front gabrielle pattern—that is, with a gored front
breadth and side gores. Make the front breadth of
alternate rows of embroidered insertion and narrow
tucks, and border the sides of the breadth with em-
broidered edging
BLANKETS.—Suitable flannel or merino for the
blanket need not cost more than seventy-five cents or
one dollar. If the mother knows how to embroider,
the embroidery silk will cost but à trifle. If em-
broidery is out of her line, the little blanket looks
very pretty bound with colored or white ribbon.
DIAPERS.Those who wish to consult economy
will find that cotton flannel is an excellent article to
use for diapers. It is soft and easily washed, besides
being less expensive than the linen usually employed.
It can be obtained at fourteen or fifteen cents per
yard, and twenty yards will make about twenty-
five diapers.
QUANTITY OF MATERIAL, WITH ESTIMATED
Cost.-In order to put the amount of material used
in a baby's wardrobe, and its probable expense, in as
convenient a form for reference as possible, I give
another table :
4 yards flannel for petticoats, barrecoats and bands, at.60...$2.40
5 yards bleached muslin for cotton skirts and waists, ".18... 90
3) yards of material for tucked and embroidered skirt,“ 25... 873
2 yards embroidery for skirt,
“.50... 1.00
15 yards linen lawn,
“.60... 90
4) yards of material for night-gown,
“.18... 81
25 *

294
THE DRESS OF AN INFANT.
3 yards print for wrappers,
54 yards of material for day-dresses,
Material for robe estimated at..
1 yard flannel for blanket..
20 yards cotton flannel for diapers,
Balance for trimmings...
Total.........................
at .123.. 37)
“ .25... 1.32
3.00
........... 75
at .15... 3.00
4.67
. $20.00
The balance of $4.67 in an allowance of $20 is an
ample amount for the purchase of buttons, tape, bob-
bin, thread and trimmings. The first four articles cost
very little indeed. Lace and embroidery used in
trimming can be bought very cheaply if economy is
an object. Whether it is or not, I think good taste
dictates that an infant's wardrobe should be delicate
and neat rather than showy and expensive. And
neatness and delicacy depend much on the manner of
making, and can be obtained at very little expense.
Lace edgings, very pretty and suitable for infants'
clothes, can be bought for two cents per yard and up-
ward; and embroidered edgings for seven cents and
upward.
GENERAL DIRECTIONS CONCERNING INFANT'S
DRESSES.—Let the young mother never make that
abomination of an infant's wardrobe, a dress with a
waist. The robe should flow freely and loosely from
the shoulders, the sleeves should be long and the neck
high. Fashion as well as common sense now dictates
this course in the matter of sleeves and necks.
DRESS WITH TUCKED FRONT.—A very pretty
way to make an infant's dress is to take a breadth of

DRESS MADE WITH INSERTION IN FRONT
295
the material, begin at the centre and run a narrow
tuck down the length about one-eighth of an inch wide
and about seven inches long. . At a little interval
from this run another tuck of the same width, in the
same manner that you would make a narrow-tucked
shirt-bosom, only make each succeeding tuck a little
shorter than the last. So continue until there is suffi-
cient tucked for half the width of the waist and the
last tuck is about three inches in length. Make the
other side to correspond. Then cut out the neck and
armholes by pattern, sloping off the material from the
bottom of the armholes at the sides, if it has not all
been used in tucking, until the full width of the cloth
is reached at the bottom. Now the tucking which ex-
tends from the armboles on each side down to a point
in front may be bordered at its lower edge with an in
sertion, and an edging below that if desired. And if
an insertion is put down the centre in front between
the two sets of tucks, it will be very pretty. The back
may be made in the same manner, or may be plainly
gored, allowing very little fullness at the top, and that
fullness gathered into place by a drawing-string at the
neck. The sleeves may be made to match the waist,
if desired, by tucking a little way up the waist in the
form of a pointed cuff, and finishing with insertion
and edging.
DRESS MADE WITH INSERTION IN FRONT.-An.
other pretty way to make an infant's dress is from the
centre of one end of the breadth to cut out a strip
about two inches wide and six or seven inches long.

296
THE DRESS OF AN INFANT.
Leave one inch on each side, and then cut from each
side another strip like the first. Sew in strips of lace
or muslin insertion of a length to correspond with the
places where the strips have been taken out, gather
the cloth at the bottom and sew to the insertion, and
fell the seams down all around as neatly as possible.
Gather the cloth at the top sufficiently to fit the neck,
cut out the armholes and slope off the superfluous
width. The back may be made like the front, or
plainly gored.
DRESS WITH EMBROIDERED EDGING IN FRONT.
-One inch from each side of the centre of the front
breadth run a tuck three-quarters of an inch wide
and seven inches long. Open these tucks or folds
over the fabric in such a manner that the seam of the
back shall come in the centre of each fold. Baste
narrow embroidered edging down one side of each
fold, across and over the bottom, and up the other
side. Hem with extreme neatness the edge of the
fold down upon the edging, the stitches going through
to the fabric underneath. Then run a row of machine
stitching at a very narrow-distance from the edge, to
hold the embroidery more firmly, and to give the
work a more finished look. Cut the dress after the
usual gored pattern, hemming around the neck and
running a string in to draw up any fullness that may
be there. The sleeve can be made with a fold run
up about two inches from the wrist and trimmed
around with embroidery to match the waist.
A woman of taste and ingenuity can follow up

SHORTENING AN INFANT'S DRESS.
297
these suggestions and produce a pleasing variety in
an infant's wardrobe.
WINTER CLOTHING FOR AN INFANT.-A babe's
winter clothing must be made warm to suit the season.
Except in the case of a very young babe, I prefer to
lay aside white altogether, and adopt some more ape
propriate material and color. There is nothing pret-
tier than soft warm all-wool delaines, in bright colors,
either plain or with small figures, for a babe who has
reached the dignity of a shortened dress. If the babe
is still in long clothes, there should be little flannel,
merino or knit sacques to protect it from the cold.
BIBS AND APRONS.—There should be bibs and
aprons, the latter both long and short sleeved. The
bibs are to protect the neck of the dress from vomit-
ing and dreuling; the aprons to protect against sud-
den changes of weather.
SHORTENING AN INFANT'S DRESS.—The proper
time for shortening an infant's dress should be when
it is four or five months old, though it depends much
on the season of the year. While the period may be
hastened in warm weather, it should be delayed some-
what in cold. In the latter time, when it is put into short
dresses, it should have long stockings put on it, reach-
ing sufficiently far up to be pinned to the diaper at
the sides. If long stockings can be obtained in no
other way, the short socks can easily have tops knitted
or crocheted to them. The clothing should still be
long enough to come quite down to the feet.

CHAPTER XVIII.
DISEASES OF INFANTS.
A MOTHER'S DUTIES IN SICKNESS.—I read not
long since of a woman who was remarkably successful
in the treatment of her children during slight illnesses.
Being asked her mode of treatment, she replied that
ing for a doctor and sitting down and waiting until he
came, she considered what the doctor would be most
likely to order if he were already present, and then
proceeded at once as if he had called and left his or-
ders. Prompt and judicious treatment is often all
that is necessary to check a malady in its early stages
and prevent it assuming a serious form. I do not rec-
ommend that a mother should assume all the respon-
sibility of the medical care of her children. But there
are certain things which every mother should know,
and which she should be able to put in practice with
full confidence in her own knowledge, and it is only
when simple remedies fail that a doctor need be sum-
moned.
HERNIA OR RUPTURE.—One of the earliest troubles
which the nurse or mother has frequently to deal with
is hernia. The hernia or rupture may be of the navel
298

SNUFFLING.
299
or of the groin. It may be caused by severe fits of
crying, by too tight bandaging, or, if of the former,
by imperfect healing at the time the cord was taken
away.
CURE FOR NAVEL HERNIA.--A bullet hammered
out into a thin round sheet, covered with linen and
slipped into a pocket made in the belly-band and
placed directly over the navel, will probably effect a
cure in a few weeks. Or a round piece of wash
leather, about three inches in diameter, spread in the
centre with Burgundy pitch plaster, and placed di-
rectly over the navel, will keep the ruptured parts to-
gether and effect a cure.
CURE FOR GROIN HERNIA.—Groin hernia can be
cured if taken in season. When the bowel is found
protruding, it should be pushed carefully in. The
child should be kept lying down as much as possible,
and not be allowed to exert itself in crying. If the
rupture does not heal of itself, a pitch plaster may be
tried. This failing, a truss should be made and fitted
under the direction of an experienced doctor.
SNUFFLING.-A babe is sometimes affected with
catarrh resulting from slight cold in the head. Not
being able to relieve itself by blowing its nose, the
discharges collect and render breathing difficult. The
"snuffling," as it is called, may be relieved by rubbing
a little tallow on the bridge of the nose on going to
bed. Or a sponge may be dipped in as hot water as
the child can bear, and applied a few moments to the
same spot.

300
DISEASES OF INFANTS.
WIND ON THE STOMACH.—When the child has
it will sometimes be attacked with pain in the stomach,
caused by an accumulation of wind arising from indi-
gestion. A few drops of weak sweetened peppermint
water, or a little anise seed tea, will immediately bring
up the wind and remove the pain.
GRIPES OR COLIC.—When a child draws up its
legs and screams violently, when its bowels are cold,
and when it cannot be quieted by putting to the
breast, there are indications that it is attacked with
colic. The discharges from the bowels will be green
and watery. Colic may be caused by improper food or
by ov rfeeding. Or the mother may have eaten some-
thing injurious.
CURE FOR COLIC.—The bowels should be gently
rubbed by the hand in order to produce warmth, or a
piece of flannel folded and wet with hot water should
be bound about them. A warm bath will often give
instunt relief. A change should be made in the
child's diet or dress, or whatever seems to be the
ca use of the attack, to prevent its recurrence in future.
HICCOUGHS.—The simplest remedy for hiccoughs is
to apply the child to the breast for a few moments.
If this does not stop the hiccoughs, a little anise seed
tea will usually cure them.
DIARRHCA.—If a babe has diarrhoea, it is best not
to interfere with it unless it continues too long. It is
usually an effort of nature to relieve some obstruction
of the bowels; or it may be serving some other im-

COSTIVENESS.
301
poriant purpose, as in the case of teething, when it acts
as a diversion to relieve the irritation of the gums. If
there is greenness about the stools, a little lime-water
added to the infant's food will correct the acidity of
the stomach. If the looseness continues too long and
seems to need checking, this should not be done by
means of an astringent. By all means avoid Godfrey's
cordial, soothing syrups and carminatives. Tincture
of rhubarb in doses of from ten to thirty drops, ac-
cording to age of child, will be certain to afford relief in
ordinary cases. If this fails, a doctor had better be
consulted. Meantime if the child nurses, the mother
should be exceedingly careful in regard to her own
diet.
COSTIVENESS. If a child is costive, do not give it
physic until all else has been tried. Generally a cer-
tain as well as a safe remedy is to use a suppository
of soap, tallow or molasses candy introduced up the
rectum. This will shortly be expelled, and following
it will come a motion of the bowels. This suppository
should be cut an inch or an inch and a half long, and
a little larger in size than a lead-pencil. It must be
smooth and round, that no sharp edges or protruding
corners shall hurt the delicate membrane lining the
intestine. If the suppository fails, an injection of
warm water or molasses and water should be given.
It is only after these have both failed that a mother
is justified in resorting to medicine. The best because
the mildest opening medicine for an infant is either
magnesia or tincture of rhubarb. It is impera-
26

302
DISEASES OF INFANTS.
tively necessary for the child's health that the move-
ments of the bowels should be regular and of the
proper consistency.
THRUSH OR SORE MOUTH, — In infant's sora
mouth there will be roundish white specks on the lips,
the tongue, and on the inside of the mouth. The
tongue especially will look as if curds were smeared
over it. The mouth is hot and painful, and the babe
nurses with difficulty. The cause of thrush is usu-
ally improper feeding. In curing thrush the child.
should be allowed no food but its mother's milk, or,
if brought up by hand, the milk obtained from one
cow. It should be fed in sufficient quantities, but as
seldom as possible, as the operation of sucking is
painful. Powdered lump-sugar and borax put dry
in the mouth is an excellent remedy. A tea made
of the berries of the sumac is considered excellent in
this disease.
CROUP.-Croup is a disease of the windpipe. Some
children are more liable to attacks of croup than
others. Fleshy children are especially predisposed
to it. After infancy has passed there is less and less
danger of croup, though sometimes, in rare instances,
adults are attacked. Croup may easily be managed
if taken in time. A child predisposed to croup needs
constant watching, as a slight ordinary cold may at
isht, in the course of a few hours, develop into croup.
There are two kinds of croup, in describing which
I must depend on my own knowledge and experience
alone. Nearly all authorities which I have examined

TREATMENT FOR COMMON CROUP.
303
either make mention of only one kind, and give to
that the symptoms of both; or, recognizing the two
kinds, so confound and confuse the symptoms of each
as to be wholly unreliable.
COMMON CROUP.—The common croup will result
in death in a very few hours if prompt efforts are not
made to check its progress. The characteristic of this
disease is the suddenness, of its attack. A child may
retire at night in perfect health, and in two or three
hours the parents may be awakened by the shrill
breathing and hoarse, barking cough which indicate
croup. The special distinguishing feature of this
form of croup is its peculiar cough. When the dis-
ease is fully developed, it is exactly like the bark of
a dog.
TREATMENT FOR COMMON CROUP. — The child
should be at once brought into a warm room, and well
protected against any exposure to cold. Water must
be heated as quickly as possible. Bathe the feet in
warm water, and wrap flannel wrung out of water as
hot as the child can bear around the neck. Protect
this flannel with a dry flannel over it, and renew it as
fast as it cools. This treatment alone may be suf-
ficient to relieve the child, but I always prefer to ad-
minister Coxe's hive syrup in doses of from ten to
twenty drops at intervals of from fifteen minutes to
half an hour, according to the urgency of the case,
until free vomiting is induced, when, with proper pre-
cautions to prevent a relapse, the danger is passed.
The warm water relaxes the system and loosens the

304
DISEASES OF INFANTS.
phlegm that is fast filling the throat. The hive syr-
up also helps to do this, and finally throws the phlegm
off by the process of vomiting. Frequent doses of
ipecacuanha wine will do equally well, or any medi-
cine that will produce immediate and free vomiting,
Some physicians recommend a use of lamp oil. Goose
oil is also an excellent remedy. A teaspoonful of
powdered alum in molasses or honey, given every ten
minutes, will frequently afford relief. After the im-
mediate danger is over the child should be made to
drink freely of flaxseed or slippery-elm tea until
convalescent.
MEMBRANOUS CROUP.—Membranous is more to
be dreaded than common croup. It is more insidious
in its attacks, not so easily recognized, and more dif-
ficult to cure. A child will perhaps for several days
be afflicted with a severe cold and a hoarse cough
which refuse to yield to any of the ordinary remedies,
and croup may not be suspected until the false mem-
brane being formed inside the windpipe threatens im-
mediate suffocation. If taken in time, this form of
roup would probably yield to the remedies used in
common croup. But after the membrane is nearly or
quite formed it is almost impossible to cure. I have
never seen any course of treatment prescribed for this
form of croup, nor have I ever seen a case of it out
of my own family. So I am forced to give a chapter
from my own experience. One of my daughters, then
a child of eight years, who as an infant had been sub-
ject to croup in its common form, was affected with a

MEMBRANOUS CROUP.
305
severe cold and cough. She complained too of a bad
feeling in her throat; but as I saw no indication of
diphtheria, I concluded she had a touch of quinsy.
This continued for several days, and in spite of my
remedies she grew worse, until at last I thought best
to put her in the hands of a doctor. The messenger
sent for the doctor had not been gone many min-
utes before I detected the choking of croup, though
there had been no previous barking. Nearly an hour
must elapse before the doctor could come, even if the
messenger found him at home. So seeing that what
was to be done must be done without a moment's
hesitation or waiting, I proceeded with the usual
remedies for croup. They were of no avail. The
girl was on the verge of suffocation, her face almost
black and her breath drawn with the utmost diffi-
culty, and sometimes stopped altogether. Her life
was a question of moments, not of hours. I remem-
bered having read that sulphur was an excellent
remedy for croup, but had no recollection of quantity
or manner of using. So in desperation I gave her a
teaspoonful of sulphur and molasses. It produced im-
mediate vomiting of ropy phlegin. Another teaspoon-
ful, administered shortly afterward, brought up still
more membranous phlegm. When the doctor came
in half an hour afterward, he regarded the girl with
astonishment, and said not one child in fifty ever
recovered from membranous croup when it had
reached that stage. The sulphur had undoubtedly
saved her life, and under the doctor's subsequent
26 *

306
DISEASES OF INFANTS.
treatment she rapidly recovered. I afterward found
the prescription which I had so indistinctly remem-
bered. In it sulphur was used in such minute quan-
tities, and at such long intervals, that in her critical
state it would not have done the slightest good.
DIPHTHERIA.—Diphtheria is similar to membran-
ous croup in so far as a membrane is formed in the
windpipe. But unlike croup, there are sores in the
throat at the same time. These sores are grayish in
color, and lie at the back of the throat. They may
easily be seen by pressing the handle of a teaspoon on
the base of the tongue. These sores are not painful,
but feel as if a stick or scale or some dry hard sub-
stance was lodged in the throat. They can be cured
in their first stages by putting a pinch of salt on the
handle of a teaspoon and pressing it against them.
Or a small piece of gum camphor dissolved in the
mouth will give relief and avert serious illness. In
case of an infant, it is impossible to use these means.
The babe must be kept from exposure. Its food must
be warm, and hot applications must be made to the
throat. A doctor must be called.
SORE THROAT.—The common form of sore throat
can usually be cured by binding a piece of flannel
around the throat and keeping it there for a day or
two. In severe cases let the flannel be wrung out of
water either hot or cold and put around the neck with
a dry cloth pinned over it. Warm lard in which sage
has simmered, used both inwardly and outwardly, is
an excellent remedy. The same may be said of

BURNS AND SCALDS.
goose-grease and molasses. Goose-grease should al-
ways be kept in the house where there is a family of
children.
QUINSY.-Quinsy is a swelling of the throat and
tonsils which seriously interferes with swallowing.
The usual remedies for sore throat may be applied for
this. In addition to these, pour into the ear on the
side of the affected tonsil, or into both ears if both
tonsils be affected, a few drops of tincture of arnica.
Repeat this occasionally until the swelling is reduced.
EARACHE.—Arnica is a specific for earache. A
few drops poured into the ear as soon as the least sen
sation of pain is felt, the dose repeated at short inter-
vals, will not fail to cure earache. If used in time, it
will subdue inflammation and prevent gathering in the
ear, which is so distressing and so dangerous to the
hearing. I have prescribed this treatment number-
less times, and never knew it to fail.
THE VALUE OF ARNICA.—Every house should
have its bottle of tincture of arnica where it can be
found at once in case of need. Not only is it good for
earache, but there is nothing better or half so good
in case of bruises, cuts or burns. It prevents inflam-
mation and subdues pain.
BURNS AND SCALDS.—Never apply cold water to
a burn or scald. Over the burnt or scalded surface
pat instantly a thick layer of flour, to exclude all air.
Over this again a layer of cotton. Delay dressing for
two days, and afterward only dress every other day.
Unsalted lard is also an excellent remedy for burns.

308
DISEASES OF INFANTS.
allays irritation.
Instar sly relieved by an application of spirits of harts-
horn, or by wetting the spot and rubbing on bicar-
bonat, of soda—the soda used in cooking.
Iry POISONING.–Bathe the parts frequently and
freely with sweet spirits of nitre. If the blisters are
broken, allowing the nitre to penetrate, the cure will
be the more rapid.
CHICKEN-Pox.–Chicken-pox sometimes comes on
with a slight chill. About twenty-four hours after,
the child feels badly, an eruption of small pimples
will appear on its head, neck and body, showing but
slightly on the face. The next day these pimples fill
with water. This eruption continues for a few days,
and then disappears. It is not in any way a danger-
ous disease, and ordinarily requires no medical treat-
ment whatever. The infant should be protected from
exposure, special care taken with its diet, and strict
attention paid to the state of its bowels.
VACCINATION.—Every infant ought to be vacci-
nated, the sooner after it has reached the age of two
months, the better. If the vaccination takes properly,
the child will probably be fretful and peevish. It
needs special care, but no medicine. The dress should
be so arranged that it will not irritate the sore, nor
rub off the scab before it is ready to come. Some
people stand in fear of vaccination, believing that by
its means diseases are given from one person to an-

SCARLET FEVER.
309
other. Physicians cannot of course be too careful in
obtaining healthy matter, and should scrupulously
avoid taking a scab from the arm of a child who has
a scrofulous or syphilitic taint in its blood. But I
think in the hands of a responsible physician who has
been thus careful there is little or no danger from
vaccination-certainly not the hundredth part there
is in going unvaccinated and subject to contagion
from smallpox.
SCARLET FEVER. There are three different forms
of scarlet fever, but they all display similar symptoms.
An attack of this disease is preceded by chilliness,
weariness and fretfulness, headache, redness and mois-
ture of the eyes, and sometimes sickness and vomiting.
The centre of the tongue will sometimes be covered
with a white or yellowish coat, with the edges a bright
red. The tonsils will be swollen and ulcerated, and
the fever perhaps strong, with quick and difficult
breathing. In malignant scarlet fever the head and
throat are the most affected. Generally about the
third day the rash appears, sometimes on one part of
the body and sometimes on another, but spreading
eventually over the whole body, the inside of the
mouth, tongue and throat. This rash consists of in-
numerable small points set so closely together that
they present one uniform red surface, brighter on the
seat, the folds of the joints and the edges of the
tongue. The skin is rough to the touch, hot and itch-
ing. Toward the fifth day the rash begins to dimin-
ish, disappearing about the seventh. Shortly after,

310
DISEASES OF INFANTS.
the skin begins to peel and dust off. This will con-
tinue for two or three weeks, until the skin is come
pletely shed.
In the simplest form of scarlet fever, called scarla-
tina simplex, the throat is not affected.
TREATMENT OF SCARLET FEVER.—Though a
doctor is necessary in this disease, there is much that
a mother can do without waiting for orders. She must
first of all avoid giving physic. She must establish
thorough ventilation in the sick-room and reduce its
temperature, at the same time making the clothing of
the bed light. She must attend scrupulously to the
diet, giving nothing of a stimulating nature, and allow
the patient to drink plentifully of cold water. And
she should grease the child thoroughly from head to
foot with fat bacon during the whole course of the
disease. The cool temperature of the room, the open
windows and the light bedclothing should continue
till about the fifth or sixth day, when the patient's
skin will become suddenly cool, and it will seem to be
chilly. Then the windows and doors must be closed,
and extra covering put on the bed. Flannel should
now be worn next to the skin until the disease is end-
ed. The child should not be taken into the open air
under a month in summer and longer in winter.
MEASLES.--Measles usually commence with the
symptoms of a common cold. There is running at the
pose, redness and wateriness of the eyes, sneezing,
headache and a hoarse, peculiar ringing cough. The
mother can at once detect measles from scarlet fever

HOOPING-COUGH.
31]
by the cough, which is absent in the latter. In three
or four days an eruption of crescent-shaped, slightly-
raised patches appears in the skin. It usually com-
mences on the face and neck and moves downward.
The face is swollen sometimes even to closing the
eyes.
TREATMENT OF MEASLES.—The body must be
kept completely warm, and all drinks and medicines
must be given with the chill off. The diet should be
low, and no medicine should be given to move the
bowels or to “ease the cough.” If the rash comes
out promptly and fully, proper care and attention on
the part of the mother will take the child through
without the aid of a doctor. If the rash does not ap-
pear, a doctor should be at once sent for. If the
bowels need moving, it should be done by means of
warm injections. The body may be occasionally
sponged with warm water to which a little vinegar
has been added. The room should be darkened.
In the latter stages of the disease there is sometimes a
looseness of the bowels amounting to diarrhoea. This
should never be checked, as it is beneficial. Measles
is a contagious disease.
HOOPING COUGH.—This disease usually lasts from
six to twelve weeks, and even for a longer period if it
is contracted in the fall or winter. It commences as
a common cold and cough, but after a week or two the
cough assumes a spasmodic character, giving the pee
culiar and characteristic hoop. During the coughing
fit let the child stand, if old enough; if not, raise its

312
DISEASES OF INFANTS.
head and bend its body a little forward. The back
should be supported with one hand and the forehead
should be at once taken from its mouth. When it is
possible to accomplish it, a change of air is desirable in
this complaint. The spot selected should be in the coun-
try, high and salubrious. A second change to the sea-
side will sometimes cure the disease as if by magic. If
the child should be attacked by shivering, send for a
doctor at once. Meantime, warm the bed and put the
child in it, with warm bottles and bricks at its feet.
The diet throughout the disease should be light, and
the child guarded from extremes of heat and cold.
The bowels should be kept open without the use of
medicines if possible. Tincture of the black cohosh
or squaw root has been found of benefit for this
cough. This tincture is formed by adding a pint of
spirits to two ounces of the pulverized root. The dose
for a child one year old is from fifteen to twenty drops
in sweetened water four or five times a day. From
half a teaspoonful to a teaspoonful for an older child,
TEETHING.—Infants may begin to cut their teeth
at any period from six months to a year in age. The
process of teething is a natural one, and should be
nearly or quite painless, yet owing to improper man-
perience supported by the testimony of physicians—is
that a child who lives entirely upon the food that na-
ture intended for it will encounter little or no trouble
in teething. The first intimation the mother will

CONVULSIONS.
313
have of the fact is the actual visible presence of the
tooth. Nevertheless, as muthers do not and will not
feed their infants properly, it is necessary to refer to
the disorders incident to teething. The diarrhoea ac-
companying teething should not be checked. It is
a provision of nature which prevents more serious
ailments.
SUMMER COMPLAINT.—Infants who have been im-
properly fed are especially liable to summer complaint
during teething. It is an aggravated form of diarrhoea,
occurring during the hot summer months. Boiled
milk to which a little lime-water has been added will
be the best drink for a young child, and may be alone
sufficienu to check the disorder. If the child be old
enough to eat, boiled rice is the very best food for it.
A porridge or gruel made of ground rice, stirred in
boiling milk, will also be excellent. Fruit and vege-
tables should be given very sparingly to a teething
child-meat not at all. If the gums are red, swollen
and painful, and the teeth seem ready to push through
the skin, it may be well to lance the gums. If the
disordered state of the bowels still continues, small
doses of spiced tincture of rhubarb may be adminis-
tered with good effect.
CONVULSIONS.—A teething child is subject to con-
vulsions. The mother must retain her presence of
mind and know just what to do. There is time for
neither delays nor mistakes. She must hold the child
in her lap, and have two persons to wait upon her,
while a third goes for the doctor, The feet must be

314
DISEASES OF INFANTS.
put into warm water without a moment of unnecessary
delay and cold water applied constantly to the head.
The handle of a spoon must be placed between the
teeth to keep them from biting the tongue. As soon
as the convulsion begins to relax its severity, the cold
application to the head must be changed to a warm
one, and continued until all spasmodic symptoms have
ceased. The cold water is first used to cool the head
at once; but if continued, the reaction which follows
its use is liable to bring on a second attack or culmi-
nate in inflammation of the brain or hydrocephalus.
So that after the first immediate effects are produced,
warm water is used to prevent this reaction. When
the convulsion is over, a physician must be on hand
to see if any disease is threatened, and if so to treat it
in time. After the convulsion is over the child must
be kept in a darkened room, and perfect quiet must
be insisted upon. The feet must be kept warm, and
warm wet cloths applied to the head.
A mother who knows the symptoms which foretell
a convulsion—the dull look to the eyes, varied by oc-
casional rolling, and the nervous twitchings of the
hands and feet, the hot head and the cold extremities
-may easily avert it by putting the child in a warm
bath, and afterward in a comfortable bed, wrapped in
fannels and secluded from noise and light.

CHAPTER XIX.
THE MORAL RESPONSIBILITIES OF MOTHERHO D.
WHICH IS GREATEST, WOMAN OR MOTHER ?-We
are frequently taught in various indirect ways that the
mother is of more consequence than the wor an—that
a single function swells to such magnitu' e that it
eclipses and overbalances all others, and makes the
exercise of any other inconvenient, inex: edient and,
in fact, impossible. I cannot believe this. God has
given neither man nor woman any faculty, any
capability or desire which he has no afforded the
means of using and gratifying, and made it lawful to
attempt to use and to gratify.
True, there are few human beings who attain to the
full summit of their desires and ambitions; but all
men and women alike are privileged to try. Nor do
I believe that women more than men are under obli-
gations to cast aside their hopes and plans when they
take upon themselves domestic duties. Paternity has
its cares and duties as well as maternity, not so com-
plicated perhaps, but quite as imperative, and which
cannot be disregarded without guilt.
OBLIGATIONS OF FATHERHOOD AND MOTHER:
HOOD.—Both fatherhood and motherhood imply obli-
315

316 MORAL RESPONSIBILITIES OF MOTHERHOOD.
gations, the faithful fulfillment of which will some-
times conflict and interfere with the carrying forward
of favorite plans. But the woman who forgets that
she is sy mother in the pursuit of pleasure, art or
science is no more culpable than the man who utterly
neglects the duties of husband and father in mechani-
cal pursuits, political ambitions or desire for literary
fame. While the world is apt to condemn the former,
and forgive, or at least excuse, the latter, both are, in
truth, grievously and equally guilty.
WOMAN. MORE THAN MOTHER.—Still, while I do
not in the least undervalue the importance of the
mother, I hold that the woman is more than the
mother, as the whole is more than a part. I hold
that the entire individual whose faculties have been
allowed free development in every direction, and who
has attained to a perfect womanhood physically, men-
tally and morally—who understands her relations and
recognizes her obligations, not to the family alone, but
to society and the world—is more than the woman
whose development is partial and functional, whose in-
tellect is dwarfed, and whose moral and emotional na-
tures are trained only in their relation to maternity-
whose mature life must begin with disappointment
and self-abnegation; in whom patience becomes the
one predominant virtue, and uncharitableness toward
all outside her own immediate circle, born of a narrow
view of life, the universal vice. Such a woman may
suckle babes with partial success, though I doubt
even that; but she is in every way unfitted to be the

INHERITED TRAITS.
&
1
guardian and guide of her children through the peril.
ous paths of youth up to manhood and womanhood.
THE “MODEL MOTHER.”—Yet this is the model
mother whom we are called upon to admire, whose
virtues we must emulate and after whose life we
must pattern our own! Such women do sometimes
exhibit a rare saintliness in their lives, but it is a
saintliness which aids directly in the fostering of sel-
fishness and all unsaintliness in those with whom they
come in contact. It is such women who encourage
husbands in selfishness and arrogance; who have idle,
frivolous daughters and vicious, dissipated sons; who,
in the bringing up of these worthless sons and daugh-
ters, contribute so much toward making just so many
future unhappy homes. This is not the true pattern
of womanhood. God forbid ! Patience is an excl-
lent virtue when it it absolutely needed, but an un-
reasonable and unreasoning patience is a sin.
INHERITED TRAITS. - It is ar evident fact that the
physical traits of both father and mother are inherited.
Thus the fuller and more robust the health of the
mother, the greater reason to hope she will bear
healthy children. Moral and intellectual traits are
also undoubtedly inherited. Even appetites are trans-
mitted from father to son. Thus the son of a drunk-
ard, or even a moderate drinker, inherits an appetite
for strong drink which will develop itself if it is al-
lowed opportunity. All these physical, mental and
moral characteristics, entailed by one generation on
those which succeed it, are variously modified, some-
27 *

318 MORAL RESPONSIBILITIES OF MOTHERHOOD.
times intensified, and sometimes perhaps almost lost
sight of.
MATERNAL INFLUENCES.—The child undoubtedly
inherits quite as much from the father as from the
mother, but to the mother alone is entrusted the modi-
fication of this inheritance. If it be an evil trait, it
may be developed abnormally, or it may be so modi-
fied or opposed by habits of self-control as to become
almost harmless. If it be a good one, it also may be
strengthened, or it may be weakened, according to the
mother's acts and states of mind previous to the birth
of her child. We do not gather grapes of thorns nor
figs of thistles. An idle, thoughtless mother, or one
who allows herself to be indolent physically and men-
tally during the important period when she is living
a double life, can hardly expect that second life to rise
above her own mental plane. If the mother would
have her child develop all the characteristics of the
highest intellectual and moral manhood or woman-
hood, she should not, on any account, allow her mind
to sink into that temporary imbecility which is the
frequent accompaniment of pregnancy, and of which
hysteria is a prominent phase. She can help it if she
will, but only by constant activity save during periods
of needful rest.
A fretful, low-spirited mother cannot hope to have
any other than a troublesome babe, who will wear her
life out while it is young, and wear somebody else's
life out when it is older. A woman giving way dur-
ing pregnancy to fits of temper and selfish promptinga

A MOTHER'S RESPONSIBILITY,
319
must expect to reap as she sows. As she keeps her-
self in body, mind and spirit during the brief months
of her pregnancy, so she maps out the future life of
her child. If it is destined to inherit evil propensi-
ties from either father or mother, a selfish, unreason-
ing course on the part of the mother will strengthen
these propensities almost beyond the power of control.
It is possible, with a reverse course, to give counter-
balancing traits, so that the child shall be enabled to
keep these propensities under control and finally ob-
tain the mastery of them, growing up to a noble man-
hood or womanhood.
I have seen people of whom it was said they were
born lazy, and I did not greatly doubt it when I re-
membered the idle, self-indulgent life so many pros-
pective mothers lead.
A MOTHER'S RESPONSIBILITY.–To the mother
there is given the moulding of the whole character.
Some have, with what they thought extreme temerity,
declared that the education of the child begins from
the moment of its birth. I am bolder than this, and
assert that it begins from the very time of conception
-even before the beat of its little heart is perceptible
beneath that of its mother. If the mother would en-
dow her child with all the qualities most to be desired,
she must be careful of her health and maintain it at
its highest standpoint; she must keep her mind ac-
tively employed, and her thoughts free from every-
thing that is not of an elevating and refining nature;
she must be cheerful, even-tempered, patient, self-de-

320 MORAL RESPONSIBILITIES OF MOTHERHOOD..
pying, conscientious and brave in all her acts, having
ever before her mind the sacredness of the trust re-
posed in her.
A PERFECT MOTHERHOOD.-Only the true, the
fully-developed woman, with no dwarfed, repressed or
preverted faculties, is able to comprehend the trust of
motherhood in all its magnitude, and to live fully up
to its requirements. Whenever we find this true, per-
fect womanhood, we may look for the perfect mother-
hood, giving to the world sons and daughters fash-
ioned in the original likeness of man—a little lower
than the angels.
THE SACREDNESS OF MOTHERHOOD.—It is a
motherhood such as this which is sacred in its charac-
ter, and to be revered by all men. It places woman,
the fashioner, next to God, the Creator, and is typified
in that saintly motherhood of Mary, whom all good
Catholics revere, some doubtless in blind and igno-
rant faith ; while others see with their spiritual vision
the meaning of the halo which rests upon the virgin
mother's brow. A like aureole of glory surrounds all
true, pure mothers, showing their worthiness to sit
upon the very steps of the heavenly throne.
THE END

“A book which both men and women are under the
most solemn obligation to possess."-"CHRISTIAN UNION”
(Henry Ward Beecher, Editor.)
WHAT WOMEN SHOULD KNOW
A WOMAN'S BOOK ABOUT WOMEN,
BY
MRS. E. B. DUFFEY.
Of Inestimable Value to Every Woman."
ANY volumes, treating of the physical condition and
life of woman have been published with great
success, some of which, it cannot be denied, owe their
popularity to the really valuable information which they
o impart.
Works of this class however, have generally been
written by men, many of them of ability and ample expe-
rience. The all-powerful claim of this book rests on the
fact that the author is a woman, a wife and a mother, one
who has experienced all the conditions of her sex, and
who can therefore intelligently describe the peculiar func-
Štions in which these conditions of life have placed her from
& actual experiences, with far more exactness and ability than
the most learned of the other sex.
The author has aimed, in the most concise manner,
to grasp the entire subject. A glance at the synopsis will
4 readily explain its intent and scope. The book consists of
O nearly 400 pages, is printed on fine toned paper with new
type, and is handsomely and neatly bound in best English
cloth, price
Furnished to subscribers only through our auinorized -
szents. None will be compelled to take the book unless-it
compares with the sample shown in every particular.
Vill Be of Great Use in Every Household.”

WHAT WOMEN SHOULD KNOW.
SYNOPSIS OF THE BOOK.
IN times past it has been gravely questioned whether women should be allowed
to learn the alphabet. That privilege having been conceded them, it becomes
possible for one possessed with a strong imagination to look forward to the time
when certain knowledge, the absence of which is continually productive of seri-
ous physical and moral errors, shall be deemed alike permissible, if not desirable.
Women need a thorough acquaintanceship with the organs and functions of
their own bodies, in order that they may guard against disease and suffering in
themselves, and that they may bring forth healthy children. They need, to
thorough knowledge of the good and evil of the world, so that they may guide
their children safely through the perils which beset their youth and early man-
hood and womanhood, even as a skillful pilot needs to know all the rocks and
shallows of the stream that he may steer his ship clear of them.
This book tells women simply what they ought to know, and without knowing
which they cannot perfectly fulfill their womanly destiny. Its language is plain
and direct, yet marked by no impropriety, and is such as one modest woman can
use in addressing another. It is in its hygienic and general character quite up to
the advanced ideas of the day.
It begins with the physical development of the girl into womanhood, and points
out all the dangers which attend it and mistakes which may be committed. It
treats of love in its various phases, and fearlessly attacks immorality in every
form. It discusses marriage in all its bearings, denounces criminal abortion,
attacking it and pointing out its remedy from a stand
assumed by any other author; it refers to children and to inhe
at some length the theorios concerning the production of the sexes at will. It
enumerates the trials of the young wife, and shows how a false state of society
and a false system of education have augmented them. It treats of pregnancy
and delivery and the management of the new-born babe with a care and minute-
ness not tc be found in any other book of its class-a care and minuteness which
will make it invaluable to the young wife and mother. One chapter is devoted to
an infant's dress, telling how it should be made, and giving a full list of articles
of infants' wardrobe, quantity of material required, estimated cost and accurate
directions for making. Another chapter is devoted to diseases of infants, suggest-
ng simple remedies which will usually prove efficacious. The concluding chap
ter treats of the moral responsibilities of motherhood, and the author tries to
impress upon her readers the exalted position of the mother, and that it is second
lo none in honor or importance.
There are two classes who may take exceptions to this book. The first class is
composed of those who ignore on principle many of the subjects which are treated
in its pages, and who seem to believe that by shutting their eyes to the evils in the
world they do away with them, or at least shift the responsibility from their own
shoulders. This class should be reminded that the evils are, and will continue to
be until that day comes when all good women shall take cognizance of them.
and bring their influence to bear in every possible direction to lessen then.
The second class embraces the evil-minded and the impure-hearted, who are
ready to misconstrue purity itself whenever possible. For the benefit of all such
may be applied to this book the famous motto, literally rendered from the French:
** Shame shall be to him who thinks evil of it."

WHAT IS SAID OF IT.
"On the whole, wives and mothers will find much information,
the fruit of experience, observation, and good sense, in this
volume."--Forney's Press.
"Subjects of great delicacy are here discussed, but in a way
that can offend no legitimate and healthful taste or sentiment.
It is a book that can safely be put into any daughter's hands,
and which ought to be found there.”—Watchman and Reflector.
“In the more social aspects of the subjects discussed
the writer is eminently liberal and sensible, taking nature
for her guide rather than conventional etiquette. The hygienic
and physiological departments show also a treatment in harmony
generally with natural methods, counselling obedience to the
cardinal laws of life in matters of food, air, light and correct
living, rather than recourse to drugs and nostrums for imagi-
nary virtues. The moral tone of the work is unexceptional,
and its plain truths may be of incalculable benefit to many."
The Home Journal.
“For many reasons, a woman is better fitted to counsel her
own sex on subjects such as are discussed in this work than
a man, no matter how learned he may be. What Women
Should Know' is, from the fact that its author is a woman,
likely to enjoy a much greater popularity than most treatises
which attempt to give advice upon such delicate but vitally
important matters as marriage, maternity, and the management
of children.”—Philadelphia Evening Telegraph.
“I like it very much. It is a fresh, strong, bold, womanly,
and, in some respects, an original utterance of a woman to
women; and to men as well, who need it quite as much."
Hon. A. G. Riddle, Ex-Member of Congress:
“The book is superior to any of its class published which
it has ever been our privilege to examine. In its hygiene it is
quite up to the spirit of the times, and is in every way calculated
to benefit the class of readers for whom it is prepared.”-
Godey's Lady's Book.
"This work has been written specially for women, and is
essential to their comfort and to the right discharge of many
of their duties.”—The Presbyterian.
“ Mrs. E. B. Duffey has just written a book entitled,
• What Women should Know,' which gives many good suggest-
fons in the right direction."--Elizabeth Cady Stanton
'I believe that it tells in a clear and excellent manner many
things which woman should know, but upon which there is
often a lamentable degree of ignorance."--Rev. Oscar Clute,

WHAT IS SAID OF IT.
“Your aim is a good one, and I hope you will be able to fulfill
it worthily.”—Horace Bushnell, D.D., Hartford, Conn.
“I commend the book to women, guaranteeing, if read with
the same spirit of observation with which it was writtten, it will
prove of untold benefit to the sex."-Abby W. M. Bartlett.
M. D., Vinetand, N. 7.
“God bless you in your good work! that the book may be sold
by the hundred thousand is my earnest wish. Thousands are
still hungry for the meat it contains.”—M. S. Holbrook, M. D.,
(Herald of Health.)
"It supplies a want that earnest women have long felt, a
thorough knowledge of themselves in those relations which have
hitherto been shrouded in ignorance by a false delicacy.
I believe this book is destined to have an immense sale,
and be of great practical benefit to women."-Elizabeth S.
Bladen.
“We feel perfectly safe in recommending it to every mother
and daughter as a work unequaled in interest and practical
value on the subject in our language.”—Charles R. Wiley,
M.D.
“Her style is fresh, forcible, and direct; shrinking from no-
thing, avoiding nothing, and dealing with everything in a
spirit that precludes the levity of a thoughtless or the ribaldry
of a profane reader. We shall be glad if this book reaches
the hands of every intelligent woman in this country."-Daily
Morning Chronicle.
“This is a work containing plain, homely truths on deli-
cate subjects, it is true, but nevertheless so important that
every one affected by them should know them. There is no char-
latanism about Mrs. Duffey's writings. She gives plain, practical
advice, such as an experienced woman should give her less ex-
perienced sister, and the fact that it is printed in a book instead
of being given by word of mouth, does not lessen its value.
Every young wife should have the book and study it."--Phila-
delphia Evening Bulletin.
* This book is all that its title purports. It is full of informa-
tion valuable to all women, though especially important to wives
and mothers; a hand-book for them, whose instructions, if well
followed, will greatly influence their well being, and have an
important and beneficial bearing on both present and future
generations. The mechanical execution of the book is excel-
lent.”—The True Woman, Baltimore, Md.
“ This book is one of the best of its class, and can be safely
recommended to all wives and mothers. Delicate subjects are
delicately handled, and much sound advice is given."
Christian Register,

WHAT IS SAID OF IT.
I have read “What Women Should know," and must in truth
say it excels all of its kind.
You have done the public a great service. That you may be re-
warded by the sale of many editions is the wish of M. SENTER, M.D.,
Columbus, O.
We take it that woman should know not only what there is in
this book, but vastly more. Nay, all things which her God-given
faculties may enable her to learn. Yea, "all things.The Amer-
ican Lutheran, York, Pa.
It is written by a cultivated and intelligent lady, with great
delicacy, and a clear apprehension of the kind of instruction that
young women should receive through their mothers, and with a
remarkable power of presenting it in a chaste and attractive man-
ner. It ranks as a literary publication far above ordinary volumes
of this character, and is worthy of a wide distribution, How to
convey the information it contains at the right hour to those for
whose benefit it is chiefly written, has been a family problem, and
here it is fairly solved.--Zion's Herald, Boston.
Unlike Sydney Smith, I make it a rule to read a book before pro-
nouncing judgment upon it. This is the reason you have not
heard from me before. I have read the book, and I more than like
it. At least, I could not but like it after I recovered from the fit
of ill humor into which the perusal threw me. It is not pleasant
to have the wind taken from one's sails, and I have meant to write
something of the kind myself--a continuation of my “Common
Sense,'' series. I forgive you, in consideration of the fact that you
have done the work far better than I could.
Gratefully and truly,
MARION HARLAND.
The animus of this book is pure. The author is a woman of
great earnestness of character, directness of purpose and plainness
of speech, and has written for her sex with the simple and direct
end of benefiting them. We know her well, and know that in
the production of this book she was moved to write from a high
sense of duty to her sister-wives and mothers.---Arthur's Magazine.
A thoroughly comprehensive work, treating of important and
delicate matters.---Lady's Friend.
We can only speak of the spirit and scope of the book, of which
the first is excellent and the second legitimate. Its author takes
quite an extended view of womanly trouble and experience, phys-
ical and psychical. She broadly opposes the foolish masculine
theory which makes womanhood in itself a disease. She argues,
we think conclusively, that women with more health of mind
would have more health of body, and we thank her for showing
that the inconveniences attendant upon the office of maternity are
aggravated by a life of self-indulgence, and greatly mitigated by
resolute and systematic exertion.- Mrs. Julia Ward Howe, in Wo-
man's Journal

WHAT IS SAID OF IT.
We cannot too cordially welcome a work-designed for women ex-
elusively-whose aim is to offer a complete summary of general
knowledge for women concerning the physical functions of their sex,
and the duties resulting from their exercise. Such a work--one that
will cheer the despondent as well as enlighten the ignorant-has just
been issued under the title “ What Women Should Know. A
Woman's Book About Women.” By Mrs. E. B. Duffey.
This book, which is a pure and honest one, not written in the ex-
pectation of gratifying an evil curiosity, simply tells women what
they ought to know, and without knowing which they cannot hope
to fulfill perfectly their womanly destiny.
Only those who are ever ready to misconstrue purity can find
anything objectionable in these pages.-Cincinnati Times and Chron-
icle.
The first impression derived from this book is, that it was writ-
ten by a well-educated, throroughly reliant, and pure-minded wo-
man for the benefit of her sex. It is a plain, dignified, and earnest
attempt to correct some of woman's errors regarding her own phys-
ical organization, and to contribute to her information regarding
her sexual ailments and the means for their avoidance or cure. It
fills a hitherto vacant place in the library of the wife and mother,
and seems to be thoroughly worthy of matronly confidence.-
Weekly Toledo Blade.
Of the many books that have been written for women, we think
this one of the best. Valuable information on a great variety of
subjects is given in a clear, forcible style, making thus a highly
readable work.
We consider the book one that may be recommended to all wo-
men for careful perusal.-The American Journal of Homoeopathic Ma-
teria Medica.
Mrs Duffey has a rare natural aptitude for writing clear, grace-
ful and vigorous English, which years of experience and association
with writers of eminence have developed and improved, and as a
consequence, she now gives to the world a book which, in all re-
spects, compares favorably with any of its class, and we trust it
will prove as great a success in a pecuniary as in a literary point
of view--The Geauga Republican, Chardon, O.
After a careful examination of this volume, we unhesitatingly
pronounce it a most surprising, remarkable book, far beyond any-
thing of the kind ever before issued from the press. Indeed too
much cannot be said in its favor; it must be read to be appreciated.
It strikes at the foundation and continuance of our being; and as
its title indicates, it addresses itself to every wife and mother in
our land, and to whom it will be found of untold value.
Its has been justly entitled a "Brave Book."--Harrisburg Pau

CURIOSITIES OF THE BIBLE.
BY AUSTIN S. OLTEY.
A new and most remarkable book, the result of thirteen years
of Bible application and labor. It classifies and gives instructive
reference to every Fact and to everything curious in the Bible.
A pleasure to the casual reader, a guide to the student, an
indispensable aid to the teacher in fact, the best, most modern,
most useful and most attractive
COMPANION OF THE BIBLE.
It is appropriately and handsomely illustrated, elegantly
printed and bound in styles not excelled, if they can be equaled,
by any book mart in the world. SEWED WITH WIRE,
they are so flexible that the holder is freed from all annoyance,
references being made with incomparable ease and facility, while
they are so strong that human strength fairly applied cannot
break them.
Nearly every feature of this Publication is new to the trade
and to the reading public. Agents should send at once for de-
scriptive circulars, as the book will be sold only on subscription.
It contains 575 pages, 16 elegant plate illustrations, also a
handsome presentation plate, and will be sold at $3.75 for
cloth binding, $6 and $8 for Leather binding.
ADDRESS
FIRESIDE PUBLISHING COMPANY,
No. 20 N. Seventh Street,
PHILADELPHIA.






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