■SNW^VN^NvVNI 
 
S^j^l ny i LIBIMRY OF COJJGRESS, 
 
 -t 
 
 
 
 ^UNITED STATES OF AMERICA t 
 
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FROM ATTIC TO CELLAR 
 
 A BOOK FOR YOUNG HOUSEKEEPERS 
 
 BY 
 
 Mrs. O a K E Y. 
 
 7 
 
 id (oil /Cr 
 
 NEW YORK 
 
 G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS 
 
 182 FIFTH AVENUE 
 1879. 
 
 T 
 
Copyright by 
 G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS 
 
 1879 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 Introduction, . . . . i 
 
 Choice and Arrangement of a Home, 4 
 
 Daily Habits, . . . .16 
 
 Servants, .... 22 
 
 Duties of Servants, . . -3^ 
 
 Duties of a Nurse, ... 68 
 Two Servants, One Servant, No Servant, 75 
 
 House Cleaning, . . - .84 
 
 The Kitchen, . . . . 91 
 
 Spinach, — Fish, — Tea-Making, „ . 104 
 Children, . . . .110 
 
 Children Under Twelve, . . .123 
 
 School or Home, .... 144 
 
 Home and Society and Dress, . -152 
 
FROM ATTIC TO CELLAR. 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 I HAVE heard so much of the trials and per- 
 plexities of young housekeepers that, after 
 forty years of experience, begun in ignorance, 
 I think I may be able to give some aid and in- 
 struction, and may speak with some authority. 
 I desire earnestly to help those who wish to 
 make a home for themselves and those around 
 them. 
 
 I believe much of the trouble of housekeep- 
 ing is owing to the want of proper attention 
 on the part of the housekeeper. Men choose 
 for their professions the law, medicine, archi- 
 tecture, merchandise, and theology, and they 
 
2 IN TROD UC 770 N. 
 
 give all their attention to the professions they 
 have chosen, or they cannot hope to succeed. 
 A women chooses for her profession the head 
 of a household. Properly viewed, it is the 
 highest and most elevating of all professions, — 
 let her not enter upon it lightly. She has in 
 her hands the happiness and welfare and direc- 
 tion of a few or many people, as it may be ; 
 but she cannot neglect her work. It is not to 
 be neglected, and cannot be put into the hands 
 of any other person. It is her bounden duty 
 to see that her home is clean, airy, cheerful, 
 happy, and all its various economies attended 
 to. She can no more neglect it with impunity 
 than a doctor his patients, a lawyer his clients, 
 a merchant his customers. She must be the 
 mistress of her own household. She may have 
 as many servants of high and low degree as 
 her home and income may require, but she 
 must be superintendent. She must require 
 
INTRODUCTION. 3 
 
 obedience to her orders, and strict performance 
 of duty; but she must understand what those 
 duties are, how they should be performed, and 
 what time they require, or her orders are of no 
 value, and she cannot judge of their perform- 
 ance. A mistress should go through her house 
 every morning, praise where praise is due, and 
 quietly find fault with any carelessness or 
 omission, thinking nothing beneath her notice, 
 but with a gentle authority which admits of no 
 question, never placing herself in an antago- 
 nistic position to any member of her household. 
 Where there is decision it prevents all uncer- 
 tainty (a most painful condition), and is very 
 much for the good of all. 
 
 Circumstances, temperament, good or ill 
 health, make the conditions of housekeeping 
 more or less light, and more or less pleasing; 
 but a good and determined will does much for 
 us all. 
 
CHAPTER I. 
 
 CHOICE AND ARRANGEMENT OF A HOME. 
 
 In choosing a home, the first object should be 
 a wholesome situation, good drainage, ventila- 
 tion, and a dry cellar. The health of the 
 family depends upon these. Let your house 
 be chosen according to your income and means 
 of living, as far as possible. This advice seems 
 almost a satire in New York, where there are 
 no small houses in decent situations, and peo- 
 ple requiring modest accommodations are 
 driven into '' flats," — a mode of life in countries 
 where there is no word like home. 
 
 Do not live with a fine house over your head, 
 and subsist in the basement. Few people, out 
 
O THE HOME. 
 
 of your own family, know or care how you live. 
 You will, probably, neither surprise nor please 
 them by opening fine parlors kept only for oc- 
 casions, and the reception of strangers. Let 
 your home, large or small, be kept for the 
 benefit of those who live in it. Warmth and 
 light are better than fine furniture ; and good 
 beds better than fine bedsteads. If there is 
 plenty of money, one may have all these good 
 and comfortable things with all possible beau- 
 tiful surroundings. If not, a woman with taste, 
 industry and ingenuity, and with her heart in 
 the matter, can make almost any place cheery. 
 The more tasteful, the more beautiful your 
 home can be made, the better ahvays for those 
 around you, and for the friends dear to them 
 and you — not for show — not for display; these 
 degrade the mind and the habits. 
 
 In the arrangement of a home, let each mem- 
 ber of the household, who is old enough, have 
 
THE A TTIC. 7 
 
 his or her own room to be kept in order, and 
 made as individual as possible. Carry this 
 principle out, if you can, with servants. It 
 saves much trouble to them and to yourself. 
 If you have children, let the nursery be the 
 sunniest and most cheerful room in the house, 
 with pictures, and open fire. These surround- 
 ings are a part of education. 
 
 To begin with the attic. Let your servants' 
 rooms have abundant means of washing (their 
 own towels marked '' attic," and given out once 
 a week with the bed-linen), comfortable beds, 
 and bureaus in which they can keep their 
 clothes. There should be a housemaid's closet, 
 and in it everything which her work requires, — 
 pail, scrubbing-brushes, scrubbing-cloths, dust- 
 ers, towels, brooms (whisk and long), dust- 
 pan, window-brush, dusting-brush, long-handled 
 feather-duster for cornices and the tops of 
 doors, short feather brush, chamois leathers 
 
8 THE HOME. 
 
 (kept in a box or bag), not forgetting two large 
 unbleached cotton covers for beds and furni- 
 ture when she is sweeping ; on the door of the 
 closet there should be a plain list of her work 
 and the time required for doing it. 
 
 The details of bedroom arrangement will be 
 modified by circumstances: the number of 
 occupants ; whether they are children or grown 
 people ; and whether the income is large or 
 small ; but comfort may be commanded by 
 taste, ingenuity and industry, and perfect order 
 and cleanliness. There maybe pictures on the 
 wall, if only a wood-cut, books for private use, 
 a writing-table, and portfolio, with means of 
 daily bathing, fresh beds, and airy rooms, and 
 if possible, the fire laid, to be used when re- 
 quired. The drawing-rooms of a house are 
 always characteristic of the family who live in 
 them, and often who do Jiot live in them. 
 Live in your drawing-rooms ; have books, work, 
 
DINING-ROOM. 9 
 
 music, fire, all to make it the pleasantest place 
 for the members of a family, — a place of rest 
 after daily work, for comfort after struggles, 
 for conversation, ease, reading, the relation of 
 the experiences of the day, with nothing too 
 fine to sit upon. Curtains are not for orna- 
 ment, but for use ; drop them, shut out the 
 cold, and have an open fire. It is the best of 
 luxuries, the greatest ornament, and one of the 
 most cheerful of companions. 
 
 Let your dining-room be tasteful, comfort- 
 able, clean, shining, the meal well served, or- 
 derly, regular, whether luxurious or not, and 
 well cooked if only a steak and potato. 
 
 There should be a pantry with closets for the 
 china and glass. If you have glass or china 
 that you do not use daily, have a shelf for each 
 with a list pasted inside, and require that it 
 should be reported to you if anything is broken, 
 and mark that broken piece from the list, that 
 
10 THE HOME, 
 
 there may be no future question. Do the same 
 thing with other china and glass. Let the 
 waitress have everything requisite for her work, 
 — brooms for the sidewalk and for carpets and 
 stairs, pail, scrubbing-brushes and cloths, whisk- 
 broom and dust-pan, dusters and towels, cham- 
 ois leathers for silver, mirrors and door handles 
 (kept separately), a pan for her silver and glass, 
 another for her china, long and short-handled 
 feather-dusters, and a placard upon her pantry 
 door, with a list of her work — like that of the 
 housemaid. (I write for a moderate household, 
 where no men-servants are kept.) 
 
 The kitchen (I hope it is a light one) should 
 have a light closet if possible for the pots, 
 sauce-pans, tins, baking-dishes, gridirons, fry- 
 ing-pans, etc., all the pots and pans being turn- 
 ed down to keep the dust out of them, or with 
 covers upon them ; another closet for the sup- 
 plies of the week, furnished with proper jars 
 
THE KITCHEN. 1 1 
 
 with covers for whatever is to be kept in them, 
 buckets for flour, bread-board, paste-board, 
 dresser for ware and glass, plates and pitchers, 
 a drawer for knives, forks and spoons, wooden 
 and iron ; chopper, apple-corer, lemon-squeezer, 
 etc., etc. ; another drawer for table-cloths, roller 
 and towels ; enough tables for the work ; a 
 proper table for the servants' meals, the cloths 
 suitable for it, and one small table for the 
 cutting up and pounding of meat. (This one 
 must be kept well scrubbed, the others are 
 better covered with table oil-cloth.) Suitable 
 plates, dishes, cups and saucers, tea-pot and 
 sugar-bowl, knives, forks and spoons for the 
 servants' meals are also necessary. There 
 must be a safe in the coolest place to put 
 away cold meats, with ware dishes to put 
 them on, and small jars with covers for cold 
 rice, hominy or potatoes. It should be cleaned 
 daily. The cook will need a plate-drainer 
 
12 THE HOME. 
 
 over the drain, two dish-pans, one for washing 
 and one for rinsing the plates and dishes. 
 There should be a small rug before the drain, 
 and upon the hearth, to save the cook's feet 
 from wet and from the heat of the hearth (a 
 cook must be active on her feet, or she can- 
 not attend to her duties), a refrigerator, which 
 should be kept perfectly dry and clean ; a 
 bunch of skewers of all sizes hung upon a 
 nail, to be wiped dry and returned to their 
 bunch after using ; and a good clock. 
 
 There should be a barrel into which all the 
 servants should put the ashes, after they have 
 been passed through the coal-sifter, also a 
 proper receptacle for the refuse of the kitchen, 
 both to be taken away daily. The cook should 
 be furnished with brooms, scrubbing-brush and 
 pail, cloths, iron-wash-rag and brush for the 
 pots, whisk for the drain, soap in a wooden 
 soap-tray, two scuttles, brush and blacking for 
 
THE LA UNDR Y. 1 3 
 
 her range, and brush to clean it out, egg- 
 beater, wooden spoons, hand-basin always 
 ready, etc., etc. 
 
 The laundress should have a closet, in which 
 her dress-board, bosom-board, sleeve-board, 
 ruffle-irons, fluting machine and irons may be 
 kept ; two covers for each board, and for her 
 table. The covers for the boards are best in 
 the shape of a bag, into which they can be 
 slipped. If you can have a mangle, it is best 
 for both bed and table linen. 
 
 It is well to require the washing to be 
 brought upstairs as it is done, each evening. 
 The table, bed linen and flannels on Tuesday ; 
 the shirts, habits and sleeves on Wednesday. 
 All this depends so much upon the size of the 
 family, and whether the laundress is also cham- 
 ber-maid, that no rules can be laid down, but 
 so far as this system can be adopted it is best. 
 The mistress should look at her list of soiled 
 
14 THE HOME. 
 
 clothes, sent to the wash, and see that the 
 numbers are right, and see to putting them 
 away. This prevents the supposition that any- 
 thing is lost in the wash. Do this for your 
 own sake and in justice to the laundress. 
 
 There should be a linen-closet neatly kept. 
 It is well to nail upon the front of each shelf a 
 wide cotton cloth, which can be turned up over 
 the clean linen ; and the linen last brought up 
 from the wash should be put underneath that 
 all may be used in turn. There should be a 
 shelf for toilette covers, tidies and rideaux ; 
 one for towels ; one for the bed-linen ; one for 
 the table-linen ; and one for spreads and heavy 
 bed-covers. 
 
 If there is a house-maid it is her duty to at- 
 tend to the furnace. If not, a mistress can judge 
 whether the cook or laundress can best attend 
 to this work. A waitress should have as little 
 to do with coal as possible, for her hands must 
 
THE STORE-ROOM. 15 
 
 be nicely kept, and her dress clean and in 
 order. 
 
 The store-room should be placed if possible 
 on the kitchen floor, as there the stores are 
 needed. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 DAILY HABITS. 
 
 Early rising is desirable. I do not mean 
 getting people up before daylight. It is use- 
 less to begin the day by making every member 
 of the family uncomfortable. Whatever hours 
 are necessary for the good of all should be ob- 
 served, and if the head of the household is 
 obliged to be at his business at an early hour, 
 it is the duty of his family to adapt themselves 
 to this necessity. Consideration should be 
 given to peculiarities of temperament : some 
 nervous people sleep better in the morning; 
 let not rules or imaginary necessities interfere 
 
 with health and comfort. 
 
 16 
 
MORNING DUTIES, 1 7 
 
 A mother must rise early (I write to mothers 
 who are in good health), to see that all goes 
 well in the nursery, if she does not perform the 
 duties of nurse herself. Let the nurse and her 
 children look for her presence with impatience, 
 and feel that they need her assistance and 
 oversight. Let children appear fresh from 
 their baths, neatly dressed, however plainly, 
 and come to the breakfast table with cheerful, 
 happy faces, — the best attention they can show 
 to their parents, — and turn up their little faces 
 for a good-morning kiss. No child is too old 
 for this while under the parental roof. The 
 breakfast should be fresh, well served and care- 
 fully prepared, whether frugal or luxurious. 
 The mother should set the example of being 
 neatly and appropriately dressed. She will see 
 no one during the day before whom she should 
 desire to appear so well, or to be so attractive. 
 A cheerful, well-surrounded breakfast table is 
 
1 8 DAILY HABITS. 
 
 a pleasant remembrance for a man to take with 
 him to his business. If there are no children, 
 there is the greater need of everything being 
 cheerful and tasteful. 
 
 I have nothing to say about family prayers ; 
 this is a matter of conscience, taste and feel- 
 ing, and must be governed by these. If the 
 children go to school (I should put in a plea 
 for home education until a child has reached 
 the age of twelve. No one can teach children 
 to read, and write, and sew as well as the 
 mother, but this rather belongs to my chapter 
 on Children) ; if they go to school, their les- 
 sons must be attended to, and when they 
 come home they must be taught to wash and 
 dress themselves for dinner. If young enough 
 to make it necessary to dine in the middle of 
 the day (and this should be till after they are 
 twelve), the mother should be present at the 
 dinner to see that no bad habits are formed. 
 
DAILY HABITS. 1 9 
 
 that there is no carelessness of diet, no irregu- 
 larity. The meal hours are often the most in- 
 structive and charming hours of the day. Ex- 
 ercise in the open air as much as possible, but 
 this must be governed by opportunity. With 
 children, avoid above all things exposure to 
 the sun (I mean, of course, the summer sun 
 from the middle of June to the middle of 
 September ; any exposure to it from ten till 
 four brings with it all kinds of children's 
 troubles ; at all other sea'^ons of the year the 
 sun is the life of young and old). Blessed are 
 the children who live in the country, with 
 freedom from the necessity of an attending 
 nurse ; but, city or country, the summer sun 
 must be avoided. I need not point out the 
 occupations of the day. With one who is 
 wife and mother, or either, every hour is more 
 than full. A wife should be ready and dressed 
 to receive her husband upon his return home 
 
20 BAIL Y HABITS. 
 
 at night, and if there are children, let them 
 have the privilege of welcoming him too, be- 
 fore going to bed. If he is a busy man, he 
 sees them rarely enough. Keep up as much 
 as possible, as much as is consistent with your 
 duties, your intercourse with society. Keep 
 yourself instructed and interested in all that is 
 going on in the world, and do not become a 
 mere housekeeper and nurse, not only for your 
 own sake, but for the sake of every one about 
 you. In the evening, try to collect about you 
 your husband's and your children's friends, as 
 well as your own ; but avoid all gossip, all 
 meddling with the affairs of others. Let us be 
 grateful that we are not responsible for the 
 affairs of other people. Our own are always 
 more than we can properly attend to. Repeat 
 no scandal or disagreeable stories, and let not 
 love of dress (the vice of our country) take 
 hold of the thoughts and conversation. Taste- 
 
BAIL V HABITS. 2 1 
 
 ful, appropriate dress is characteristic, and 
 it is the duty of every one to dress as be- 
 comingly as means and time permit ; but 
 to spend upon expensive dress money which 
 should be given to necessary and improving 
 objects is both ignorant and vulgar. 
 
 Hospitality is one of the best virtues — hos- 
 pitality in its best sense ; not a display, not an 
 effort to appear better than one's neighbors. 
 Have no struggle to do what you cannot do 
 well ; but in accordance with your means of 
 living, welcome your friends to your table and 
 to your fireside. The better fare you can give 
 them justly, the pleasanter for you and for 
 them ; but, above all, a warm welcome to 
 whatever you can command ! And, here 
 again, let me say, a cheerful fire is a welcome 
 in itself. All sentiment apart, life becomes 
 more easy when cheerfulness and order have 
 sway. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 SERVANTS — CHOICE OF SERVANTS ENGAGEMENTS 
 
 OF SERVANTS — TREATMENT OF SERVANTS. 
 
 I LEARNED much on the subject of servants 
 from an English book on domestic duties, pub- 
 lished early in this century, which I picked up 
 in England nearly fifty years ago, and from 
 which I made some memoranda. I trust these 
 suggestions may be as useful to my readers as 
 this book was to me. 
 
 The Choice of Servants. 
 
 You cannot always have as wide a range in 
 
 the choice of servants as you could desire, 
 
 but you may adhere to certain rules. You may 
 
 at first view satisfy yourself on looking at one 
 
 22 
 
THE CHOICE OF SERVANTS. 23 
 
 who applies to you for employment that she is 
 not the person you want, and can reject her 
 without hurting her self-love. Unless they 
 have grown old in your service, it is better that 
 servants should not be over forty, for many 
 reasons. Cooks, housemaids and laundresses 
 should be strong and active, wholesome and 
 honest looking, with clean hands and no long 
 backs. Look for decent and quiet manners, 
 and reject finery or untidiness of dress. The 
 better educated are more likely to understand 
 their responsibilities and do their duty. For a 
 waitress, you want good looks, active and neat 
 person, and quick motion ; for a nurse, some- 
 thing superior to all other positions. All that 
 can be done is to know at first sight the kind 
 of person you want, and to decide which is 
 most likely to fill your requirements. Having 
 decided upon these points, take the names 
 of those chosen and inquire about them. 
 
24 SERVANTS. 
 
 Engagement of Servants. 
 Take no servant into your house without 
 making thorough inquiry as to respectability 
 and former service. Never accept a written 
 character from an unknown quarter. See the 
 former mistress, ask questions, and, in a degree, 
 judge by herself and her house what the ser- 
 vant's habits are. If those are untidy, the ser- 
 vant's are, probably, untidy too. I am sorry 
 to say that there is sometimes a want of prin- 
 ciple among employers in the recommendation 
 of servants, and there is nothing more preju- 
 dicial to both servants and employers. Ser- 
 vants are careless from the belief that whatever 
 may be their conduct no one would be unkind 
 enough to " spoil their prospects." It is an 
 absolute duty to give a just character, and, 
 were this duty observed, the influence would 
 soon be felt in the improvement of the em- 
 ployes. After making all inquiries, take the 
 
ENGAGEMENT OF SERVANTS. 2$ 
 
 servant upon a week's trial ; if not satisfied, 
 extend it to a month, unless she is recom- 
 mended by some one upon whose word you 
 can depend. When you are called upon for a 
 character, recommend no servant whom you 
 would not be willing to keep in your own ser- 
 vice. I need hardly caution you against angry 
 feelings toward a servant from whom you 
 have parted. She has the same right to choose 
 a place that you have to choose a servant. No 
 servant has a right, however, to throw a house- 
 hold into disorder by leaving without due no- 
 tice. Make an agreement with the one you 
 are engaging — in writing, if possible — that she 
 must give you due notice of her departure, or 
 forfeit a week's wages. Much disorder is pre- 
 vented by this. She should claim the same 
 notice if dismissed unless for absolute miscon- 
 duct. After making every inquiry and taking 
 every precaution, don't expect excellence. 
 
26 SERVANTS. 
 
 Never send for a servant who is in place, or 
 allow any person to apply to you who has not 
 given due notice to her former mistress. I 
 have known several instances of servants being 
 offered higher wages to leave their '* present 
 employer." It is a kind of larceny, and should 
 be punished. 
 
 Treatment of Servants. 
 Treat your servants with confidence and con- 
 sideration, and do not suspect them of doing 
 wrong. They must be trusted more or less by 
 the whole household, and trust, in most cases, 
 begets a sense of responsibility. Require care- 
 ful performance of their duties, strict obedience 
 to your orders, tidiness and cleanliness in their 
 persons, respectful manners and willing service ; 
 and make them understand how much their 
 good conduct adds to the comfort of the whole 
 household. They must have time to do their 
 
TREA TMEN T OF SER VA NTS. 2 / 
 
 washing and keep their clothes in order, or 
 they cannot be clean and tidy. Treat them 
 with kindness, but never with familiarity. Don't 
 ask unnecessary questions. If they are sad 
 and moody, take no further notice of it, than 
 to suggest (if practicable), that the usual holi- 
 day hours should be taken on that day, rather 
 than on the one appropriated to them. With- 
 out wholesome intervals of amusement, unin- 
 terrupted work becomes intolerable. If they 
 are ill, take the best care of them. Allow 
 them to see their friends in the evening, not in 
 the day-time, for it interrupts work. If you 
 deny them the privilege of companionship, you 
 establish an unnatural condition, which is a 
 premium for deceit and worse than deceit. 
 Servants will have friends, even lovers. Do 
 not compel them to hide in areas, or to make 
 appointments, but let everything be honest and 
 aboveboard. There are and must be differ- 
 
28 SERVANTS. 
 
 ences in the modes of pleasure and enjoyment, 
 and in the gratification of wants and wishes, 
 but there is a common womanhood. Let us 
 remember this gratefully and feel how much it 
 is in the power of every mistress of a house- 
 hold to elevate those she employs. 
 
 The habit of breaking up households every 
 six or eight months, when families go to the 
 country, is much against the improvement of 
 servants and their desire to do their duty. Too 
 many servants is a greater evil than too few. 
 They had better be fully employed than not 
 have enough to do. 
 
 Let your servants look for your presence as 
 an aid and assistance toward seeing their work 
 more clearly. Never lose your temper with a 
 servant. If she cannot be reasonably dealt 
 with, dismiss her. But, with proper precaution, 
 you are not likely to engage such a person. 
 
 Appoint a time for the holiday of each ser- 
 
TREATMENT OF SERVANTS. 29 
 
 vant, and, If possible, do not allow arrange- 
 ments to interfere with this appropriated time. 
 If necessary to defer it, have no question about 
 it. I have never known an instance of unwill- 
 ing assent. "" Good mistresses make good ser- 
 vants " is an old adage and usually true. Ser- 
 vants are influenced by example. If they see 
 that your conduct is governed by principle they 
 will respect you. If they see that your temper 
 is well regulated, and that you desire to do your 
 duty to them, while you expect a steady per- 
 formance of their duty to you, their respect 
 will be mingled with affection, and a desire to 
 deserve your favor. 
 
 A good and faithful servant may be one of 
 the best friends of a family. In sickness, her 
 services are sometimes invaluable. I have 
 known, personally, three instances of devo- 
 tion in servants rarely equalled by a friend or 
 relation out of the immediate family. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 Duties of a Cook. 
 
 I HAVE written, in '' Choice of Servants," 
 that a cook should be clean, strong, active, and 
 healthy ; she must be honest and sober, care- 
 ful and economical. If a cook could be per- 
 suaded to wear short clothes, short sleeves, 
 strong shoes, a large apron and a clean collar, 
 she would add much to her comfort and yours. 
 A clean kitchen and a tidy cook are pleasant 
 objects when one remembers how much the 
 comfort and even the health of the family de- 
 pend upon them. You can aid your cook in 
 
 her economy and honesty by knowing how 
 
 30 
 
A COOK. 31 
 
 much is required, and how long each thing 
 should last. Nothing should be misused, such 
 as knives for prying, cleavers for hammering, 
 etc., and nothing should be wasted. Sixpence 
 a day is nearly twenty-three dollars a year. All 
 so-called " perquisities " are a great mistake. 
 Give your servants such wages as repay them 
 for their work, but do not allow anything to be 
 sold by them, for their sakes as well as yours ; 
 it is a great temptation to peculation. Let 
 your servants have as little to do with trades- 
 people as possible. Give to the cook what is 
 necessary for the consumption of the kitchen. 
 She will soon understand that you expect her 
 to do what is right, and will respect you the 
 more for it. 
 
 A quarter of a pound of tea is sufficient for 
 each person for the week, unless you give cof- 
 fee, too, when one pound of coffee, and half 
 the quantity of tea will be sufficient. A pound 
 
32 DUTIES OF SERVANTS, 
 
 of sugar is enough for each servant, a candle a 
 week for each servant's bedroom, and one for 
 the cook for cellar and closets (a small lantern 
 in which the candle can be placed is best for 
 this purpose). 
 
 The cook must take charge of meat, bread, 
 butter, eggs, and all articles of daily consump- 
 tion, and it is the duty of the mistress to know 
 how much should be consumed. If you keep 
 books with tradespeople, enter every order in 
 your own handwriting. It prevents all ques- 
 tion. Make it understood by the people with 
 whom you deal that you will mark out any 
 charge not written by yourself. If the trades- 
 man thinks anything has been omitted, let 
 him write it on a piece of paper, and send the 
 paper for you to enter the omission. 
 
 Weekly accounts are best for all households. 
 This enables the mistress to understand at 
 once if she has exceeded the limits laid down 
 
A COOK. 33 
 
 for herself, and to make any comments and 
 question any prices. Paying cash is still better. 
 A cook should be up at an early hour ; she 
 should clean out the range and flues, and lay 
 the fire. While it is kindling the tea-kettles 
 can be filled with fresh water, and the servants' 
 breakfast-table be prepared. The fire should be 
 kept low during the day, a little coal being add- 
 ed from time to time, till the larger fire is re- 
 quired for dinner. The fire should be let down 
 at night at as early an hour as convenient, to 
 give the range time to cool, or it will soon be 
 good for nothing but repairs. The flues under 
 and around the ovens should be cleaned out 
 at least once a week, and the ovens brushed 
 and wiped out daily. 
 
 The order of the cook's duties depends upon 
 the breakfast hour. If you do not breakfast at 
 an early hour, the servants' breakfast can be 
 over, and the sweeping of the areas and hall 
 
34 DU TIE S OF SER VA N TS. 
 
 can be done before ; but she must prepare and 
 have ready whatever is ordered for breakfast. 
 After breakfast, she should clean the pantries 
 and stairs, wash and put away all utensils and 
 sweep the kitchen early, so as not to interfere 
 with other work. Orders for the day should 
 be given early, and a little carte written and 
 given to the cook for the servants' dinner, the 
 lunch, the dinner, and the next morning's 
 breakfast. No matter how simple your fare, it 
 leaves no doubt on the cook's mind, and gives 
 little trouble to you. Go into the store-room, 
 and oblige your servants to come and ask for 
 what they want, and answer no requests later. 
 If there is anything for dinner requiring prepa- 
 ration, like crumbed chops, croquettes, veal 
 cutlets, etc., it should be prepared in the morn- 
 ing, covered, and put away in a suitable place, 
 that there may be no careless haste at dinner- 
 time. A cook should have a basin and towel 
 
A COOK. 35 
 
 always near for her hands, or she will flavor one 
 dish with another. 
 
 If your servants dine in the middle of the 
 day, it is the duty of the cook to see that the 
 meal is well cooked and well served, at the 
 hour appointed, punctually, that they may 
 adapt their work to this hour. 
 
 Everything should be ready for dinner at 
 the hour appointed. Care, neatness, and at- 
 tention are necessary. With these qualities, 
 an intelligent cook may rise to excellence. If 
 she is not intelligent, she is not fitted to be a 
 cook. 
 
 After dinner comes the washing of dishes 
 and the clearing up of the kitchen. Every 
 vessel that has been used must be washed, 
 dried, and put away, upside down if possible, 
 to keep out the dust. 
 
 The washing of plates and dishes is a rare 
 art. I'hcre should be two tubs : one of warm 
 
36 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 water and soap (if your service is not gilt, soda 
 is best), and one of cold water, in which they 
 should be thoroughly washed, with a clean 
 wash-cloth, in the hot water, and rinsed in 
 cold, and then placed in the draining-rack to 
 drain. Fine china should not be put into very 
 hot water ; it cracks the enamel. With a rack 
 no wiping is requisite, and the contamination 
 of a soiled towel is thus avoided, I am told 
 that a rack is unusual. It is simply four up- 
 right bars, bound together with cross-bars in 
 front and behind, and at the two ends wide 
 enough to allow of small round bars to 
 be put through them. Perhaps I can better 
 describe it by saying, place two short lad- 
 ders on their sides, the rounds very close, 
 and joined at the two ends by two bars 
 about ten inches long. Between these rounds 
 the dishes and plates are placed vertically to 
 drain. There may be two or three tiers, ac- 
 
A COOK. 37 
 
 cording to the number of plates and dishes. 
 
 The grate, hearth and floor should also now 
 be swept and made clean, and the kitchen put 
 into perfect order. 
 
 Every part of the kitchen should be cleaned 
 thoroughly once a week. This can easily be 
 done by taking one closet on Monday, others 
 on Tuesday, the dresser on Wednesday, etc. 
 
 If the cook is required to wash bed-linen, let 
 it be done on Saturday, so as not to interfere 
 with the laundress. 
 
 A cook should not allow her refuse pail to 
 stand for more than a day. When the ashman 
 takes it, let her see that the place where it 
 stood is clean, and that the pail is scalded im- 
 mediately. Carelessness on this point may in- 
 fect the air of a house. 
 
 If you have servants, let them do their own 
 work, for which you employ and pay them. 
 There is no reason why a mistress should do 
 
38 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 anything herself, but she must give her direc- 
 tions clearly, and — with a cook (if any new dish 
 is to be prepared) — stand by to see them exe- 
 cuted — the directions being given, one by one. 
 Two such lessons will enable any intelligent 
 woman to understand what she is to do. Then 
 write the directions clearly (if the woman can 
 read, a most desirable accomplishment), and 
 let her carry them out herself. Repeat the 
 dish very soon, that the details may be im- 
 pressed upon her memory. 
 
 Duties of a Housemaid. 
 
 A housemaid should be active, clean and 
 neat in her person, and good-tempered, for she 
 will often find her work increased by the care- 
 lessness of others. 
 
 Her first duty is to open the windows in the 
 parlors, remove the fender and rug, and put a 
 coarse cloth over the carpet while she takes 
 
A HOUSEMAID. 39 
 
 away the ashes and cinders, cleans the grate 
 and fire-irons, and lays the fire. If the irons 
 are of steel, they should be rubbed with a bit 
 of flannel wet with alcohol and dipped in 
 emery powder and polished with a chamois 
 leather ; if of iron, with black-lead, applied with 
 a bit of cotton or flannel, and well polished 
 with a brush ; if of brass, with oxalic acid. 
 The fire should be laid with the wood cross- 
 wise, to let the draft through ; the cinders 
 which have been taken from the ashes laid on 
 the wood ; then the coal. The ashes should 
 be taken away, the hearth washed, the fender 
 wiped, the rug (after shaking) replaced, scraps 
 removed from the carpet with whisk-broom 
 and dust pan, and the room thoroughly dusted, 
 including window-sashes. The stairs should 
 then be swept down and balusters carefully 
 dusted before the family leave their rooms. 
 As soon as the family are at breakfast, the 
 
40 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 housemaid should go to her bedroom work ; 
 open the windows, and throw off the bedclothes 
 on chairs at the head and foot of the bed, that 
 the bedding may be well aired, though it is 
 better for each member of the family to do this 
 after dressing, to allow more time for airing. 
 The maid should bring her chamber bucket, 
 empty the baths and dry the tubs thoroughly, 
 and wipe out the bath pails ; then bring a pail 
 of hot water to wash out basins, pitchers, etc., 
 and dry them with appropriate towels ; then 
 rinse out the bucket and expose it to the 
 air, and when dry put it back into the house- 
 maid's closet. She should fill the pails with 
 fresh water, dry and fold the towels on the 
 towel-rack, or change them. The beds can now 
 be made. After they are made, she should see 
 that the carpet is free from scraps, and dust 
 the room thoroughly, and close the windows, 
 according to the season. If the fires are used 
 
A HOUSEMAID. 4 1 
 
 in the bedrooms, the grate, fire-irons and hearth 
 should be attended to first, and the scuttle left 
 full. The servants should strip their beds 
 when they rise in the morning, and open the 
 windows and shut the doors, that they may be 
 aired when the housemaid comes to them. I 
 think it very important that servants who are 
 at work down-stairs should not be expected to 
 take care of their own bedrooms ; for it is im- 
 portant, not only to them as a matter of health, 
 but to the zvJiolc hoiiseJiold, that their rooms 
 should be kept perfectly clean and well aired. 
 If necessary for them to do this themselves, on 
 account of the small number of servants, let a 
 time in the day be appointed for it. 
 
 The rooms under the housemaid's care should 
 be cleaned once a week, each in turn, on such 
 days as may be appointed, — attic on Monday, 
 highest bedroom floor on Tuesday, and so on. 
 The furniture should be thoroughly dusted and 
 
42 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 rubbed, and, if possible, removed into an ad- 
 joining room ; if not, covered with one of the 
 large cotton cloths. The window curtains 
 should be turned up as high as possible, out of 
 the dust, and the carpet should be swept with 
 tea-leaves, or, if of very light color, with Indian 
 meal. After sweeping, the dust should be re- 
 moved from the tops of the doors, window- 
 frames, and surbases with a soft, clean cloth 
 duster, and the duster frequently shaken 
 out of the window. The frames of pictures, 
 looking-glasses, and mirrors should be dusted 
 with a painter's brush, a feather duster, or a 
 fox's-tail. If the wood of the furniture is 
 spotted, a teaspoonful of linseed oil in a little 
 cold water will remove the spots. Chimney 
 ornaments, candlesticks, etc., should be care- 
 fully removed while washing the mantelpiece ; 
 but no clock should be moved. The window- 
 curtains should be dusted with a feather duster, 
 
A HOUSEMAID. 43 
 
 and the windows cleaned with newspaper wet 
 and wrung out in cold water, and polished dry 
 with clean, soft linen cloths. 
 
 The bedrooms should be treated in the same 
 order, and the mattresses whisked with a broom. 
 A small and a slightly damped mop should be 
 passed under any piece of furniture that cannot 
 be moved. The fire should be laid ready for 
 lighting, the mirrors cleaned (with newspaper 
 and cold water), and a candle, free from sperm, 
 should be left, whether gas is used or not. 
 While the family are at dinner the housemaid 
 must answer the door-bell, see that the fire is 
 kept up in the parlor, drop the curtains, light 
 the gas and turn it low. She should then go 
 to the bedrooms, turn down the bedclothes, 
 put anything in order which has been disturbed 
 in dressing, set out the tubs, light the gas and 
 turn it low. A good housemaid, as she leaves 
 the room, will look to see that nothing has 
 been omitted. 
 
44 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 When there are but three servants kept, the 
 bedroom work devolves upon the laundress. I 
 shall try in a later chapter to suggest the best 
 arrangement of Avork where but two servants 
 are kept, and when but one, or none. A time 
 should be appointed for each servant's washing 
 of her own clothes. 
 
 Placard for the Housemaid's Closet Door. 
 
 Open windows ; grates and fire-places. 
 
 Floors ; dusting ; stairs. 
 
 Bedroom work. 
 
 Cleaning appropriated to each day. 
 
 Arrange your dress. 
 
 Door-bell ; fire, curtains, and gas in drawing-room. 
 
 Attend to the bedroom work. 
 
 Tubs, pails, basins, etc., and gas. 
 
 Help the laundress up with her clothes, while the family are 
 
 at dinner. 
 Monday — clean attic. 
 Tuesday — Highest bedroom floor. 
 Etc., et". 
 
 On Tuesday afternoon, while the waitress is 
 doing her own washing, the housemaid should 
 answer the door-bell. 
 
A LAUNDRESS. 45 
 
 Duties of a Laundress. 
 
 A laundress may be also a chamber-maid, 
 where no housemaid is kept, in which case the 
 housemaid's duties in the bedrooms devolve 
 upon her. 
 
 The laundress should be provided (if it is 
 convenient, and not too expensive) with all 
 things suitable for her work. Heavy and light 
 irons, skirt-board, bosom-board, sleeve-board 
 (covered with heavy flannel or bits of blanket) 
 and two washable covers for each, — best in the 
 shape of bags of the shape of the boarO.^ and 
 to slip over them, — and two covers for the 
 ironing table, also covered with flannel or 
 blanket. It is the laundress's duty to keep these 
 covers clean. A mangle for bed and table 
 linen and towels is advantageous. With it not 
 more than a quarter of the usual time spent 
 in ironing is required, and it saves it from 
 all scorching and gives to it the gloss and soft- 
 
4^ DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 ness of new. I have used for nearly forty years 
 the old-fashioned heavy mangle filled with 
 stone; but there are now many kinds. The 
 linen is folded very smooth and rolled round 
 the mangle pins, put under the weighted box, 
 • and w^ith the handle the box is rolled backward 
 and forward over the pins. There should be 
 horses in the laundry for airing the clothes, and 
 in summer a mosquito net to throw over them 
 to protect them from dust and flies ; also a flu- 
 ting machine and fluting scissors, a piece of 
 bees'-wax for her irons, and some bits of cotton 
 cloth in which to tie her wax, some gum arable 
 and spermaceti for starch. 
 
 The laundry should be kept scrupulously 
 clean. Laundry work is the part of house- 
 work over which a mistress can have the least 
 supervision ; she must judge of it by the re- 
 sults. No soda, potash, or borax should be al- 
 lowed except for special occasions — the remov- 
 
A LAUNDRESS. 47 
 
 ing of stains, obstinate grease spots, etc., — 
 when it should be given out, bluing (of which 
 ball-bluing is best), soap and starch must be 
 used at the laundress's discretion. Table-linen 
 is best with a little water-starch in it and 
 mangled. Bed-linen is better mangled. Flan- 
 nels must be washed by themselves in the hot- 
 test soap-suds (no soap rubbed upon them), 
 and rinsed in the hottest clear water, and pass- 
 ed through the wringer and well shaken and 
 ironed before they are quite dry. The clothes 
 that are ready should be brought up at the end 
 of the day. This is the duty of the housemaid, 
 if one is kept. 
 
 Clothes that are worn and torn should either 
 be mended before going into the wash, or 
 rough-dried and sent upstairs to be mended, 
 before being starched or ironed. There is 
 great economy in this. Clothes are much less 
 
 destroyed in the wearing than by the wash- 
 
48 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 board, and a laundress should be forbidden to 
 rub fine clothes upon it. The wash-board is a 
 barbarous invention, and one generally yields 
 to it from a supposed modern necessity. 
 
 Duties of a Waitress. 
 
 The duties of a waitress vary with the habits 
 and needs of the family. She must first open 
 the windows to air the rooms. If no house- 
 maid is kept the care of the parlors devolves 
 upon the waitress. After attending to the 
 parlor work she should brush down and dust 
 the stairs. It is important to do this before 
 the family is stirring. The dining-room should 
 then be attended to. (If the waitress has 
 charge of the parlors they can be attended to 
 after breakfast.) She should see that no scraps 
 are on the dining-room floor ; set the breakfast 
 table ; see that the kettle (and a waitress should 
 have one which is used by no one else) is put up- 
 on the fire filled with fresh filtered cold water.* 
 
 * Water boiled on the table, in kettle or urn, is better. 
 
A WAITRESS. 49 
 
 The front steps and sidewalk can be swept, 
 and the front door and vestibule attended to 
 before or after breakfast, according to the 
 hours of the family. The vestibule should be 
 washed daily. When breakfast is ready, the 
 waitress should appear tidily dressed, and with 
 white apron and cuffs. 
 
 I think much waiting at the breakfast table 
 is out of place. A waitress should look to see 
 that she has omitted nothing, and should be 
 within call during breakfast time. She has the 
 china and silver to wash, the carving-knives to 
 clean, the cleaning appointed for each day, the 
 door-bell to answer, and that she may never go 
 to the door looking untidy, a part of the pan- 
 try furniture should be a large, coarse apron, 
 which will shield her while doing her work. 
 
 Lunch is a less formal meal but it should be 
 nicely served and announced, and dinner should 
 be looked upon not merely as something to 
 
50 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 eat, but as the climax of the day, — for rest, 
 comfort and conversation. The table should 
 be carefully laid, — folds of the table-cloth in 
 line, two large napkins placed at the head and 
 foot of the table with corners to the centre, 
 every plate wiped before being set upon the 
 table, the glass clear, the silver polished, the 
 salt-cellars filled with fresh-sifted salt, (A little 
 stamp upon the salt improves the appearance.) 
 When the plates are laid, two forks should be 
 put on the left hand, a knife and a soup-spoon 
 on the right, large spoons crossed at each salt- 
 cellar, and salt-spoons on the top ; tumblers 
 and wine-glasses on the right hand at each 
 plate, a napkin folded with a piece of stale 
 bread within its folds, the soup-plates placed 
 in the plate at the head of the table, and the 
 napkin in the upper one. Soup-ladle, gravy- 
 spoon, and carving knife and fork go before 
 the mistress ; fish-trowel (if there is fish for 
 
A WAITRESS, 51 
 
 dinner), , gravy-Spoon, and carving knife and 
 fork before the master ; if there is no soup, no 
 ladle, if no fish, no trowel ; if but one dish of 
 meat, one carving knife and fork. If you have 
 neither fruit nor flowers, a bowl with bits of 
 ice makes a pretty centre. 
 
 The side-table should be laid with a white 
 cloth, the silver, plates, finger-bowls, that will 
 be needed during dinner, arranged tastefully 
 upon it, the castors, a pat of butter with ice 
 upon it, and one or two spare napkins, making 
 it a pretty object. 
 
 When the soup is on the table, let the wait- 
 ress come quietly and say, '' Dinner is served." 
 A good waitress makes no noise. She will 
 stand at the dining-room door till the family 
 has passed in, and then take her place by her 
 mistress to hand the soup. When the soup 
 course is over, the waitress takes oft the plates, 
 one in each hand, and takes them to the pantry. 
 
52 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 or to a tray outside the door. Permit no pil- 
 ing of plates as they are taken from the table, 
 nor allow the soiled plates to be placed on the 
 side-table. As the soup is removed hot plates 
 should be ready for fish or meat, and as the 
 waitress places the hot plate before each person 
 she removes the cold plate to the side-table. 
 Fish should be served alone — no vegetables, ex- 
 cept in some instances potatoes. Salad is also 
 allowable with fish. If fish be broiled, a lemon 
 cut in quarters should be handed, to be squeezed 
 upon the fish, unless fish-sauce is preferred. With 
 salmon, thinly cut slices of cucumber, dressed 
 with pepper, salt, and vinegar, should be served. 
 Before the fish is removed, the fish-trowel and 
 spoon should be taken off on a tray or plate ; be- 
 fore the meat is removed, the carving-knife and 
 fork and gravy-spoon should be carefully taken 
 on a plate or tray. After the meat and plates 
 are removed, the unused silver should be taken 
 
A WAITRESS. 53 
 
 off, then the salt-cellars. The table being clear- 
 ed, the crumbs should be taken off with a 
 crumb-knife or with a napkin upon a plate ; 
 then the spread napkins should be taken off by 
 the four corners. 
 
 Place upon the table the dessert-plates, and 
 spoons, and forks, if for pudding or sweets of 
 any kind ; if for fruit, a plate with a colored 
 doily, a finger-bowl, and a silver knife and fork. 
 If coffee is served, it should be placed on a tray, 
 with coffee-cups and sugar, at the head of the 
 table. The old fashion of a polished and bare 
 table for fruit is gone out, except where an 
 elaborate table and men-servants are kept. 
 
 It is the duty of the waitress to see that no 
 one is without bread, water and wine during 
 dinner, being careful to hand everything on the 
 left hand side, and never reaching in front of 
 any one. 
 
 If tea is taken in the evening, the tray should 
 
54 DUTIES OF SERVANTS, 
 
 be set in the drawing-room before dinner. If 
 there is an urn or spirit-kettle, the water should 
 be boiled upon the table, and watched, for the 
 tea should be made the moment the water 
 boils. If the water stands after boiling, the 
 tea is never clear. Where there is no urn or 
 spirit-kettle, the waitress should feel the re- 
 sponsibility of bringing the kettle at the proper 
 moment. The waitress's kettle for tea should 
 be used for no other purpose, and should be 
 rinsed out night and morning, and filled with 
 fresh, cold, filtered water. 
 
 The waitress should have a baize-lined drawer 
 in the side-board for her small silver, and a list 
 on the bottom of the drawer of the silver in 
 daily use ; and a closet in the side-board for 
 the larger pieces, each with a baize cover, and 
 a list of the pieces on the door of the closet. 
 She should be provided with two baize-lined 
 baskets (if there is no safe), — one for forks, 
 
A WAITRESS. 55 
 
 Spoons, ladles, etc., and a larger one for the 
 larger pieces ; and the silver should be carried 
 upstairs in these baskets at night to an appoint- 
 ed place. Narrow leather straps passed under 
 the baskets, carried over the handles, tied in 
 their places and buckled tight, will prevent the 
 weight of the silver from loosening the han- 
 dles. If there is a silver tray in use it should 
 be put into a fitting cover and carried up with 
 the silver. 
 
 The use of plated knives saves much trouble ; 
 they are less expensive, and can always be 
 made bright and clean with a little hot water 
 and soap ; whereas the steel knives, unless 
 kept in fine order, are not an ornament to the 
 table, and require great care and skill in clean- 
 ing. A smooth pine board should be used, 
 well covered with soft bath-brick, and the 
 knives rubbed backward and forward, first on 
 one side, then on the other, till they are finely 
 
56 DUTIES OF SERVANTS, 
 
 polished. The handles should never be wet, or 
 they split and become yellow. 
 
 Fine china should be washed in warm water ; 
 too hot water is apt to crack the enamel. Glass 
 should be washed in cold water (wine-glasses 
 and tumblers), and polished with a soft linen 
 towel. Silver should be washed in the hottest 
 water, — with a little soda in the water, — wiped 
 dry and polished with a chamois leather. When 
 cleaned, mix ball-whiting with some hartshorn 
 to a paste. Hartshorn should not be used with 
 plated ware, alcohol may be used. Apply it 
 with a flannel, and polish with the leather. If 
 the silver is embossed, it will require a soft 
 silver-brush. 
 
 It is the waitress's duty at night to see that 
 the area-gate is closed, the windows fastened, 
 the doors locked, the gas put out. It is well 
 for some member of the family to loop back 
 the curtains before going upstairs, to preserve 
 
A WAITRESS. 57 
 
 them from the contact of working hands in the 
 morning. 
 
 A mistress should tell the waitress in the 
 morning whether she will receive visitors or 
 not, that no visitor may be treated with the in- 
 civility of sending in a card and being refused 
 admittance, or kept waiting while the servant 
 is running up and down stairs. Let the mis- 
 tress say she is ''engaged," *' indisposed," ''will 
 not receive," or " is at home ; " but do not ex- 
 pect a servant to say you are " out," or " not at 
 home," if you are in the house, if she is to tell 
 the truth upon other occasions. Though the 
 phrase " out " is understood in society, your 
 servant may only understand it as a falsehood. 
 
 Placard for Waitress's Pantry. 
 
 Open windows. Grates, fires and hearth. Brush carpet. 
 Dust thoroughly. Stairs. Sidewalk before or after breakfast. 
 Kettle. Breakfast-table and waiting. Wash silver, china, 
 and glass. Salt-cellars, castors and knives. Cleaning ap- 
 pointed for the day. Lunch. Dress. Dinner. Washing of 
 dinner silver, china and glass. Tea. Silver. Locking up. 
 
58 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 Duties of a Lady's Maid. 
 
 A woman who takes this position must be 
 neat, active, a good dress-maker, a neat seam- 
 stress, and a good hair dresser, and must under- 
 stand the getting up of fine muslins and laces. 
 
 Every lady has her own way and order of 
 dressing, and must direct the maid accordingly. 
 The maid's first daily duty is to repair to her 
 mistress's dressing-room, where the house- 
 maid, if there be one, has already attended to 
 the grate and fire ; if there is no housemaid, 
 the maid must take this duty upon herself. 
 Let her protect her hands with a pair of old 
 gloves, and her dress with a large apron, for a 
 lady's maid needs to keep her hands smooth, 
 delicate and very clean. She must then pre- 
 pare the bath, take out the morning dress, put 
 the underclothes to the fire, and have every- 
 thing needed upon the toilet table, when she 
 may ^o and get her breakfast. 
 
A LADY'S MAID. ^g 
 
 The dressing over, everything is to be put 
 away, brushes combed out, sponges hung up, 
 towels dried and folded, and the room put in 
 order. If she is housemaid as well as lady's 
 maid, she will then attend to the bedroom. (All 
 these duties have been described.) 
 
 The dresses worn the day before must then 
 be examined and dusted, and, if muddy, care- 
 fully cleaned, — dresses of woolen material with 
 a proper brush, those of silk, with a piece of 
 silk or soft woolen ; all the spots should be re- 
 moved, and any repairs made, and the clothes 
 hung up in their places. Much-trimmed dress- 
 es should be hung on two nails, by loops 
 placed on the belt under the arm, or the weight 
 
 will drag the skirt into lines. The waists, if 
 separate, should not be hung up. They should 
 
 be folded carefully with the lining outside, and 
 
 the seams at the shoulders pulled out straight, 
 
 and laid upon a shelf or in a drawer. 
 
6o DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 The bonnet should next be attended to. If 
 the flowers are crushed they should be raised 
 with flower-pliers, which may be got at a flower 
 shop, and the feathers, if damp held before, 
 and not too near the fire or over the steam of 
 boiling water, to restore their curl and crisp- 
 ness. Outer garments should undergo the 
 same examination that they may be ready for 
 wear. Velvet should be cleaned with a soft 
 hair brush. Thin dresses in summer should be 
 shaken, pressed as often as required ; and, for 
 this purpose, a maid should have a skirt-board, 
 covered with clean flannel, a.id two or three 
 fresh cloths, which may be removed and 
 washed. 
 
 After having attended to the dresses, she 
 can sit down to any work she may have to do, 
 until she is called upon again. She should take 
 out w^hatever dress is to be worn for dinner 
 and all its belongings, and, if there is an even- 
 
A LADY'S MAID. 6 1 
 
 ing toilet, this must be taken out and made 
 ready, seeing that the skirts are of the right 
 length, etc., etc. 
 
 Some ladies require their maids to sit up 
 and undress them, and brush their hair and 
 prepare them for bed. This seems to me not 
 only a very unreasonable requisition, but a 
 very dangerous one to both morals and health. 
 While the mistress is at a gay party, does she 
 expect her maid to sit alone in expectation of 
 her return ? She is not likely to do so. It 
 would be better that she should go to bed 
 when her mistress leaves the house, and be 
 ready for her duties the next morning. 
 
 Brushes should be washed at least once a 
 week. Dissolve some soda in boiling water, 
 dip the bristles of the brush into the water 
 several times, wetting the handle and back as 
 little as possible, rinse with cold water, wipe 
 the backs and handles, but not the bristles (it 
 
62 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 makes them soft), and put them into the sun 
 to dry, bristles down. It is better to brush 
 out the combs and not wet them ; a comb- 
 cleaner may be had at any druggist's. All 
 mending but that of stockings, unless of silk, 
 should be done before clothes are sent to the 
 wash. If silk stockings need mending, the 
 stitches should be picked up carefully. Lists 
 should be taken of clothes sent to the wash, 
 for the laundress's sake, as well as your own. 
 
 A lady's maid may make herself useful by 
 taking charge of the table and bed linen, ex- 
 amining and making repairs before the wash, 
 and receiving it and putting it away when 
 brought from the laundry. 
 
 Many families keep a seamstress, whose only 
 duty is to sew, make whatever is to be made, 
 and repair and keep in order the linen and 
 clothes. Where there are many children this 
 is rather an economy than an extravagance. 
 
A MANSERVANT, 63 
 
 Duties of a Man-Servant. 
 
 Where but one man-servant is kept his 
 duties are complex ; his place is no sinecure. 
 He must be up early, to do his rough work be- 
 fore the family is stirring. He has the front 
 steps and sidewalk to clean, boots to black, his 
 master's clothes to brush, and must have the 
 dining-room and breakfast-table in order and 
 be neatly dressed before the family comes 
 down. In many families an under-servant is 
 kept, or one comes in for a few hours in the 
 morning to attend to the sidewalk, black the 
 boots, fetch the coal, attend to the furnace, 
 pump the water (if there is a reservoir), and 
 break up the wood. This is a great relief, and 
 enables the man-servant to have more time for 
 his morning work. Where no man-servant is 
 kept, this under-servant is almost a necessity 
 in winter. 
 
 The man-servant should be ready to attend 
 
64 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 to and wait upon the breakfast-table, in a neat 
 jacket and clean apron. While the famil)' is 
 at breakfast, he should go into the hall, brush 
 the hats, and lay the gloves upon the rim, and 
 be ready to help to put on the coats and the 
 overshoes, and to hand umbrellas and canes. 
 After breakfast, he should clear the table, 
 brush up the crumbs, look to the fire, fold the 
 table-cloth, and leave everything in order ; 
 then go the pantry, put on an apron which 
 ties at the neck and waist, and a rough pair of 
 cuffs, and wash his china, glass, and plate, 
 clean any knives that have been used at break- 
 fast, and leave his pantry in nice order. (I 
 have before given directions for washing glass, 
 china, and silver.) He must answer the door- 
 bell. 
 
 The servant should know whether he is to 
 admit visitors or not. If they are to be ad- 
 mitted, he should precede them, to the door 
 
A MAN-SERVANT. 65 
 
 of the drawing-room, and announce them by 
 name, distinctly. This prevents many awkward 
 mistakes. When the visitors depart, he should 
 be ready to open the door. 
 
 Luncheon must be attended to, and if it is 
 required to go out with the carriage, he must 
 give notice to the housemaid to answer the 
 bell during his absence, so that no one may be 
 kept standing at a door. When the carriage 
 drives to the door, it is the man's business to 
 announce it, to stand ready with his gloves 
 on, to assist his mistress into the carriage. 
 He should stand at the door till she has 
 passed out, having first put any wraps in- 
 to the carriage, hold his arm for her as she 
 gets in, see that her dress is free from the door, 
 and having shut it, wait at the window to re- 
 ceive directions. Whenever the carriage stops, 
 he should jump down and assist his mistress to 
 alight by holding his arm for her hand to rest 
 
66 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 Upon. Having returned home, he should ring, 
 then open the carriage-door, assist his mistress 
 to ahght, stand at the front door till she is in 
 the house, take out the wraps and any bundles, 
 shut the carriage-door, and return to his occu- 
 pations in the house. 
 
 The dinner-table is to be laid, and all things 
 connected with it attended to by him. These 
 directions have all been given in the *' Duties 
 of a Waitress," and also the service at table. 
 A man should be neatly dressed in black, with 
 white neck-tie and white gloves. While the 
 family are at dinner, the housemaid should 
 bring in the door-mat and light the gas in the 
 hall. When the dessert is put upon the table, 
 the servant should go into the drawing-room, 
 attend the fire, light the gas and drop the cur- 
 tains. 
 
 After dinner, he should attend to tea in the 
 drawing-room, go to his pantry, wash and put 
 
A MAN-SERVANT. 6/ 
 
 away glass, china and silver, bolt the doors, put 
 out the gas, and carry the silver upstairs, if 
 there is no safe. (See ''Waitress.") A foot- 
 man who performs his duties quietly, respect- 
 fully, and without bustle, is a great treasure. 
 
 In many houses now the dinner is served a la 
 Russc. China, plate, glass, fruit and flowers 
 are put on the table, and the dinner is carved 
 and served from the side-table. In such case, 
 the man-servant needs to be a good carver. 
 
 Dean Swift quaintly recommends that a foot- 
 man shall read all notes, in order better to ful- 
 fill his duties to his master. An old lady of 
 Forfarshire had a Caleb Balderstone sort of ser- 
 vant, and being in haste, took the precaution 
 to read her note to him, adding, *' Now, An- 
 ,drew, you ken aboot it, and need na stop to 
 open and read it." But we think it better for 
 a messenger not to take so lively an interest. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 DUTIES OF A NURSE. 
 
 ** That child is happiest who never had a 
 nursery-maid, only a mother," says Miss Mu- 
 loch. I think no one will deny this, yet the 
 necessity for hired nurses is a part of the arti- 
 ficial life we all lead. A nurse is the most 
 difficult of servants to find. Many servants 
 are honest, well meaning, capable of being train- 
 ed for any service except that of nurse. No 
 rough or ignorant woman should be tolerated. 
 I should consider good looks, good accent and 
 manner of speaking desirable, and among the 
 necessary requirements, good health and ac- 
 tivity, a cheerful, good-tempered expression of 
 
 63 
 
A NURSE. 69 
 
 face ; for children are imitative, especially of 
 expression. One wants also conscience, taste, 
 gentleness, and supreme neatness. Where will 
 you find all these qualities combined ? There 
 is but one resource : the mother must be head 
 nurse herself. She must overlook no short- 
 comings. Health, temper, habits — all are in 
 question. If one is fortunate enough to meet 
 with a sensible woman, she may be made to 
 understand how much the future welfare of the 
 children depends upon her obedience to direc- 
 tions and upon the careful performance of her 
 duties, that the cares of the mother must be 
 seconded by hers, and that the smallest omis- 
 sion may produce bad results — the exchange of 
 a warm garment for a thin one, the leaving off 
 any article of clothing usually worn, etc. 
 
 Little children should be made happy, left 
 free from unnecessary checks and restraints, 
 and supplied with occupation. Indeed, occu- 
 
70 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 pation is the secret of happiness, whether with 
 children or adults. The law of love should 
 govern the nursery, and not the law of irrita- 
 tion. Blocks, picture-books, threads and need- 
 les, round-ended scissors, paper and pencils, 
 chalks, dolls and doll-clothes, are among the 
 accessories of a good nursery. If the nurse 
 has the will she may keep children amused, 
 and if they get the nursery in great confusion 
 it is easily put in order again by a willing and 
 active nurse, though children should not be al- 
 lowed to destroy or mislay anything. No one 
 should take a place as nurse, nor be allowed to 
 keep such place, who has not a natural love of 
 children. A watchful mother can soon judge 
 how worthy the nurse is of her confidence. 
 
 It is desirable that the children should play 
 in a different room from that in which they 
 sleep, and that it should contain an open fire 
 of wood or soft coal. 
 
A NURSE. 7^ 
 
 Children are rarely ill tempered, unless made 
 so by others or by sickness and suffering, in 
 which cases it cannot be considered as ill tem- 
 per. They may be wilful, but decision and 
 gentleness will remedy it. Yielding and coax- 
 ing are the great enemies of obedience with 
 children. A nurse should not be allowed to 
 punish a child. If she attempts it, she should 
 be reproved, and if not obedient, dismissed. 
 She should be a light sleeper, ready to wake at 
 the slightest noise, and cheerfully, and should 
 always be within easy hearing distance of a 
 sleeping baby, since a baby may wake and cry 
 on account of discomfort which she could 
 readily remove. No two children should be 
 put to sleep in one bed, nor with the nurse ; it 
 is injurious to health. I prefer a nurse not less 
 than 25 nor more than 35, unless she has grown 
 old in the service of the same family — a rare 
 event now. 
 
7^ 
 
 nnrr/'S or sfataivts. 
 
 A nurse should l)t' up rail)' in order to make 
 her lire (unless a housemaid is kepl\ air the 
 elothi's, and have ever)'lhini; read)' lor her 
 liltli' ehar!.>;es. She sliould wash and di)' them 
 well. A whitf cotton slun-t, for I'ach ehild to 
 he wiappi'd in upon Ixmu;.; taken out ol the 
 hath, is a I'.itMt satei;uard av.ainst exposure; ii 
 hahy should hi- taken in a hlaid^ct. Most 
 mothers \\e>uld reserve this pleasure autl duty 
 ol washing; tiie l)al)}' loi t lu-mseK'es. The 
 windows should be opened, the water and tubs 
 remox'eil, and evtM\'tliinL; restoreil to order but 
 the ihildrrn's beds, which should be lelt to air 
 lOi- a lou;; lime. An liulia rubbei' cloth oxer 
 tlu- litlK' n\at t rc\sses, wit h a blankrl oxer it and 
 uuihi tlu- slu'c't is aiK'isable. l'"lannc>l nii;ht- 
 «.',owns are much better h>r little" childrcMi than 
 eolton. Ni>lhini'; should \^c lelt in a nursery 
 for a monu-nl which can alfeet the air. No 
 napkins should be dricul in it. 
 
A iVUA'SK. 73 
 
 A boy should not he kept in the nursery- 
 after five ye:irs of at^e ; and a little ^\v\ should 
 have her (jwn room, and have a [)ride in it at 
 as early an a<^e as possible. 
 
 Children's meals should not be taken in the 
 nursery if it can be avoided, and tlu; nurse 
 should see that the children are neatly dressed, 
 washed and aproned before sitting down to 
 their meals, and that their aprons are removed 
 and their hands and faces washed after eating. 
 
 A nurse shoijld have her work-basket always 
 at hand to make any repairs, but unless under 
 peculiar circumstances (only one child, or a 
 happy, contented baby), she can do little 
 consecutive sewing. If there are many chil- 
 dren, and she does her duty faithfully from 
 early morning until her little charges are in 
 bed, she should have rest, and time ft)r reading 
 and for her own sewing. She must have her 
 hours of recreation, and time for her meals, un- 
 
74 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 interrupted. All this each mother must ar- 
 range for herself, but '^ all work and no play 
 makes " not only '* Jack " but the servants 
 " dull." 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 SERVANTS 
 
 In those households where but two servants 
 are kept, one should do the cooking, washing 
 and ironing, and keep the lower part of the 
 house in order ; the other should be housemaid 
 and waitress. Where the family is small the 
 work is not too much for two servants ; where 
 the family is large, care should be taken by the 
 different members not to increase the work un- 
 necessarily, and there should be a willingness to 
 aid in keeping things in order. We live in New 
 York, as it were, in towers, with stairs upon 
 stairs. To those who go up and down only to 
 
 their meals, to dress, and to go to bed, this 
 
 75 
 
7^ DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 mode of life is but a light affair ; but to ser^ 
 vants, who must answer the door bell, run with 
 letters and messages, and go up and down for 
 their necessary Avork, it is, often, a cause of 
 much distress. A considerate mistress will 
 give them as little of this climbing as possible, 
 by giving notice that she will or will not re- 
 ceive visitors, and by having a box in the hall, 
 in which notes and letters may be deposited 
 which do not require an immediate answer, 
 and by giving such clear directions in the 
 morning that no running to ask questions is 
 necessary. 
 
 One Servant. 
 Where one servant is kept, the arrangements 
 must be systematic or there will be confusion. 
 A maid of all-work must begin her day by open- 
 ing the windows of all the lower part of the 
 house to air the rooms. She may then brush 
 
ONE SERVANT. 77 
 
 out the range, make the fire, sweep the kitch- 
 en, fill the kettle with fresh cold water, and 
 then go to the dining-room to put it in order. 
 She proceeds like any housemaid, (I need not 
 repeat the duties) and, after sweeping and 
 dusting, lays the breakfast table, shuts the door 
 of the room, sweeps the hall, shakes the mats, 
 cleans the door and bell-handles, and the door- 
 steps. If the family breakfast very early, the 
 hall and door steps must be left until after 
 breakfast. She should now wash her face and 
 hands, smooth her hair, put on a clean apron 
 and collar, and be ready to take the kettle 
 or urn to the table. While the tea is drawing 
 she must prepare the breakfast and serve it. 
 She can then take her own breakfast. 
 
 While the family is at breakfast, the maid 
 should go upstairs, empty the tubs, put the 
 rooms in order, and leave them to the air. The 
 beds should be made, and the rooms dusted by 
 
78 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 members of the family. They may have the 
 satisfaction in this way of having well-made 
 and attractive looking beds. The servant 
 should then take from the breakfast-table the 
 meat, dishes and plates, place a vessel of fresh 
 hot water on a tray upon the breakfast table, so 
 that the mistress can wash the china, silver and 
 glass herself, and attend to castors and salt- 
 cellers, brush up the crumbs, fold the table- 
 cloth, and restore the room to order. A pair 
 of gloves and large apron, in which to perform 
 these services should be kept at hand. The 
 maid should sweep down the stairs and dust 
 the hall and balusters. After these duties are 
 performed, the mistress should go down stairs 
 and give her directions for the day, and give 
 out from her store-room whatever supplies are 
 needed. It would be well for the mistress to 
 dust the drawing-room herself, especially the 
 books and bric-a-brac, for the hands of a 
 
ONE SERVANT, 79 
 
 maid-of-all-work are not always in condition. 
 
 As soon after breakfast as possible the maid 
 should see that everything is ready for dinner, 
 to avoid confusion and haste ; she can then go 
 to her washing or ironing. No maid-of-all-work 
 can do all the washing of a family (unless it be 
 a very small one) where tasteful order is pre- 
 served. A woman on Monday to assist with 
 the washing is a relief, and when the clothes 
 are washed, dried and starched, she can find 
 time, during the week, to do the ironing at in- 
 tervals, if her employers are reasonable people. 
 
 When the dinner hour arrives, the maid must 
 have the dinner ready, having first set the table, 
 and the family must submit to having some 
 dishes " kept hot " (the ruin of good cooking) 
 unless the plainest dinner is to be served. The 
 maid having changed her dress, must bring in 
 the dinner, see that every one has bread and 
 water, and prepare the second course, if there 
 
8o 
 
 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 is one. When the first course is over, slie will 
 return, clear the table and put o\\ the dessert. 
 After dinner she should brush up the crund)s 
 and the lu\irlh, and i^o and eat her own 
 dinner. 
 
 After dinner is over she slundd wash and 
 put away the ditnier service, arrani^e her 
 kitchen and put on the kettle for tea (if the 
 famil)' take tea aftcM- dinner). She should take 
 in tea, i^o up stairs, turn down the beds, see 
 that the tubs are set out and jxiils full, take 
 down the U-a service, wash it, and carry up 
 the silver. 
 
 The cleanini^ of the lunise slundd be divided 
 so that c\ich da)' ma)' have its proper share: 
 The parlor and dinins^-rooni one da)', two bed- 
 rooms on another, and so on, that the rei^ular 
 dail)' work ma)" not be crowded out of its rou- 
 tine. 
 
 At nii;ht, the servant should leave her 
 
NO SEA' VAN 'J \ 8 1 
 
 kitchen so tluit nothin<^ but the morning work 
 is to be cU)ne — her wood and coal ready by the 
 range or stove, and see that the doors and win- 
 dows are k)cked and bolted. 
 
 A h.ousehoUl cannot be carried o\\ with sys- 
 tem and order with but one servant, unless the 
 mistress is energetic, reasonable, and ready to 
 do what is necessary. If washing is to be done, 
 let it not be an excuse for every mistake or 
 omission, but press it into the proper space 
 and time. 
 
 When there is a child or children, the 
 mother if she cannot have more than one ser- 
 vant must be nurse herself. The necessity 
 is ver)' delightful for the child, but it is very 
 hard work for the mother. 
 
 No Servant. 
 A family can live in New York without a 
 servant. There will be, of course, some incon- 
 
82 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 veniences, but anything is better than to strug- 
 gle to do what one cannot afford, or to incur 
 expenses which one is unable to meet. 
 
 This plan can be carried out by taking a 
 small apartment, and getting one's own break- 
 fast and lunch, an object easily attained by 
 having cold meat (which may be bought at 
 any restaurant), pressed beef, tongue or ham, 
 with the addition of a boiled ^^'g, or an ome- 
 lette, toast and tea or coffee. If there are 
 children, rice, oatmeal or hominy may be 
 boiled in an earthenware saucepan, which is 
 easily washed ; baked apples, a very wholesome 
 dish, are also readily cooked. 
 
 The chief trouble is the fire. A gas stove 
 can be used, by which anything may be cook- 
 ed. It is also economical, as the gas can be 
 put out as soon as used. The dinner, or in- 
 deed all the meals, can be sent in from a res- 
 taurant, an agreement being made, either for 
 
NO SERVANT. 83 
 
 SO much for each person, or by the day or 
 week. 
 
 A woman can be brought in occasionally to 
 clean the apartment. The washing, of course, 
 must be put out. Tliis is, in some respects, 
 a most comfortable way of living, since it 
 relieves a mistress of many responsibilities and 
 doubtful expenses. In the country no restau- 
 rant can be called into aid, but a woman might 
 be engaged to come in for a few hours every 
 afternoon to prepare the dinner and clean the 
 kitchen. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 HOUSE CLEANING. 
 
 House cleaning is usually a terror to the 
 men if not the women of a family. This can 
 be avoided by taking only one floor, or even 
 one room at a time. Let it be thoroughly 
 done, and go to the next without its interfer- 
 ing with the daily arrangements. A room can 
 usually be cleaned and restored to order before 
 night. If there is painting to be done, several 
 pails of cold water should be placed in the 
 room, to absorb the impurities and prevent the 
 odor. 
 
 The closets should be attended to with great 
 care — especially with the Croton and furnace 
 pipes running through them, — and newspapers 
 
 84 
 
HOUSE CLEANING. 85 
 
 laid upon the shelves, will often prevent moths 
 and any other insects from intruding. 
 
 The cellar is the most important part of the 
 house to be kept clean ; next the kitchen. 
 From these the air of the house may be made 
 unwholesome, if not free from all vegetable 
 matter. 
 
 If there is any possibility of rats in the lower 
 part of the house, or any appearance of a rat- 
 hole, Cayenne pepper will free you from such 
 intruders. 
 
 I hope my suggestions may be of use to 
 young house-keepers, and, in a degree, relieve 
 them from some of the trials I went through 
 in early house-keeping. Everyone must learn 
 more or less, by her own experience, and 
 circumstances are so different, and requisitions 
 so various, that no rules can be laid down ; 
 but I shall be fully repaid for my exertions if I 
 make any mother more thoughtful, or any 
 home more comfortable. 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 The duties of servants must vary more or 
 less with the habits of the community in which 
 they Hve, and the special views of the house- 
 holds in which they are employed. They 
 must be, however, to a certain degree the same, 
 century after century. I have in my pos- 
 session two curious papers, one, a notice of a 
 fair for the hire of servants, the other, orders 
 for household servants, which I give as curios- 
 ities. 
 
 DOVERIDGE STATUTES. 
 
 The public are hereby acquainted, that Statutes 
 for the purpose of hiring Male and Female servants, 
 will be held at Doveridge on the 29th of December, 
 1 80 1, being the first Tuesday after Christmas day, 
 
 86 
 
HARRINGTON'S ORDERS, 8/ 
 
 and are intended to be held annually on the Tues- 
 day following Christmas day ; and as there are a 
 great many towns and villages where no institution 
 of the same kind is held, it is hoped that it will 
 prove very useful and convenient both to Masters 
 and servants. 
 
 A pair of breeches will be given to be run for by 
 men, and a pair of gloves to the second. 
 
 Netton, Printer. Uttoxeter. 
 
 Dove ridge, Nov. 1 8th, 1801. 
 
 This advertisement was sent from England 
 in a friend's letter. He says, " I was present ; 
 the town was all alive." 
 
 We have also a curious article, entitled, 
 
 ORDERS FOR HOUSEHOLD SERVANTS. 
 
 First devised by John Harrington in the year 
 1566, and renewed by John Harrington, sonne of 
 the saide John, in the year 1592 ; the saide John 
 the Sonne being then High Shrieve of the County 
 of Somerset : 
 
 Imprimis. — That no servant be absent from 
 prayer at morning or evening without a lawful ex- 
 cuse, to be alleged within one day after, upon pain 
 to forfeit at every time 2d. 
 
^88 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 2d Item. — That none swear any oath, upon pain 
 for every oath id. 
 
 3d Item. — That no man leave any door open that 
 he findeth shut, without there be cause, upon pain 
 for every time id. 
 
 4th Item. — That none of the men be in bed, from 
 our Lady day to Michaelmas, after six of the clock 
 in the morning, nor out of his bed after ten of the 
 clock of the night ; nor from Michaelmas to our 
 Lady Day in bed after 7 in the morning nor out 
 after 9 at night, without reasonable excuse, on pain 
 of 2d. 
 
 5th Item. — That no man's bed be unmade, nor 
 fire or candle-box unclean, after 8 of the clock in 
 the morning, on pain of id. 
 
 6th Item. — That no man wait at table without a 
 trencher in his hand, except it be upon some good 
 cause, on pain of id. 
 
 7th Item. — That no man appointed to wait at my 
 table be absent that meal, without reasonable cause, 
 on pain of id. 
 
 8th Item. — If any man break a glass, he shall an- 
 swer to the price thereof out of his wages, and if 
 it be not known who broke it, the butler shall pay 
 for it, on pain of i2d. 
 
 9th Item. — The table must be covered half an 
 hour before 11 at dinner, and 6 at supper, or before, 
 on pain of 2d. 
 
HARRINGTON'S ORDERS. 89 
 
 loth Item, — That meat be ready at 11 or before 
 at dinner and 6 or before at supper, under pain 
 of 6d. 
 
 nth Item. — That none be absent without leave 
 or good cause the whole day, or any part of it, on 
 pain of 4d. 
 
 1 2th Item. — That no man strike his fellow, on 
 pain of loss of service, nor revile, or threaten, or 
 provoke another to strike, on pain of i2d. 
 
 13th Item. — That no man come to the kitchen 
 without reasonable cause, on pain of id., and the 
 cook likewise to forfeit id. 
 
 14th Item. — That no man teach any of the chil- 
 dren any unhonest speech, or oath, or bad word, on 
 pain of 4d. 
 
 15th. — That none toy with the maids, on pain 
 of 4d. 
 
 1 6th. — That no man wear foul shirt on Sunday, 
 nor broken hose or shoes, or doublet without but- 
 tons, on pain of id. 
 
 J 7th Item. — That when any stranger goes hence 
 the chamber be dressed up again within four hours 
 after, on pain of id. 
 
 1 8th. — That the hall be made clean every day by 
 8 in the winter and 7 in the summer, on pain of him 
 that should do it to forfeit id. 
 
 19th Item. — That the court- gate be shut each 
 meal, and not opened during dinner or supper with- 
 
90 DUTIES OF SERVANTS. 
 
 out just cause, on pain the porter to forfeit for 
 every time id. 
 
 2oth Item. — That all stayrs in the house and 
 other rooms that need shall require, may be made 
 clean on Friday after dinner, on pain of foi;feiture 
 of every one whom it shall belong unto 3d. 
 
 All which sums shall be duly paid each quarter 
 day out of their wages, and bestowed on the poor 
 or other Godly use. 
 
 These directions of 1566 and 1592 look like 
 order and regularity. The objection seems to 
 be that these servants are expected to pay a 
 higher forfeit for the breaking of a glass than 
 for untidiness or immorality. They had a 
 higher civilization in one respect than we 
 have — that no interruption at meals was al- 
 lowed — but the forfeit was but id. A penny, 
 however, had greater weight then than now. 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 THE KITCHEN. 
 
 Some suggestions with regard to the kitchen 
 may be useful. Not receipts for the making 
 of dishes ; there are too many of these books 
 already, many puzzling and misleading to say 
 nothing more of their unwholesome tendencies. 
 The Modem Hotisewife^ by Alexis Soyer, a 
 translation published by D. Appletion & Co. in 
 1850, I have found always useful in my own 
 household. His receipts are from long experi- 
 ence and are tasteful, careful, direct and eco- 
 nomical. One of my family thinks very highly 
 of Mrs. Beton's book, an English publication. 
 
 There can be no good cooking without care 
 and neatness, perfect cleanliness of the cooking 
 
 91 
 
92 THE KITCHEN. 
 
 utensils, watchful attention during the pro- 
 gress of cooking, clean range, flues free from 
 dust, and ovens well brushed out. 
 
 To broil a steak or chop to perfection, to 
 boil potatoes white and mealy, is a proof of 
 good cooking because the)' retjuire constant 
 care. To make good bread always, with the 
 same result, shows painstaking and intelli- 
 gence. 
 
 Before broiling, the gridiron should be placed 
 on the range, and when hot, rubbed with a 
 crust of bread. No matter how well the grid- 
 iron has been washed, the bread will be black. 
 This black is better on the bread than on the 
 meat. 
 
 In boiling potatoes, when the water is boil- 
 ing with the salt in it (half a cup of salt to a 
 gallon of boiling water), the potatoes having 
 been chosen as nearly of one size as possible, 
 p<ircd with neatness, and bleached in cold water 
 
r OTA TOES. 93 
 
 for two hours ; should be dropped in, one by one 
 not <-o stop the boiling. Boil at a gallop fif- 
 teen or twenty mintutes, according to the size 
 of the potatoes, pour off the water, shake up 
 the potatoes, and put a clean cloth over them, 
 to absorb the steam as it rises, and steam them 
 for fifteen or twenty minutes, or throw them 
 into a colander, and place the colander over 
 the pot to steam. If the metal cover is put on, 
 the steam forms into drops and falls back upon 
 the potatoes. 
 
 When young and new they should be scraped 
 and rubbed with a coarse cloth (never pealed), 
 and thrown into boiling water ojie by one and 
 boiled rapidly till done, and steamed as before 
 directed. 
 
 Potatoes called '* Irish Potatoes " we owe to 
 South America where the plant grows wild, 
 and where it was cultivated long before its in- 
 troduction to Europe in 1588. 
 
94 THE KITCHEN, 
 
 To make bread is a very simple matter. In 
 early house-keeping we had suffered so much 
 from bad bread, that, being in the house of a 
 woman in Vermont, where we had always the 
 finest bread, I asked her to teach me how to 
 make it. I learned from her, and it has been 
 a great comfort not only to me, but to many 
 others. I give you the exact direction not 
 only to make bread, but to make yeast. There 
 are many kinds of yeast-powders, yeast-cakes, 
 etc., used I believe, but I know nothing about 
 them and cannot, therefore, judge of their 
 excellence. 
 
 *' Here is bread, which strengthens man's 
 heart, and therefore called the staff of life." 
 
 As the most essential thing in making good 
 bread is the yeast, it is better to make it at 
 home, though brewer's or baker's yeast may be 
 used. To make yeast, pare two large potatoes 
 and cut them in thin slices, and put them with 
 
WHITE BREAD. 95 
 
 a large cupful of dried hops into three pints of 
 boiling water; let them boil till the potatoes 
 can be mashed with a wooden spoon. Put into 
 a stone or ware jar a quart of sifted flour, and 
 after stirring the liquid thoroughly, pour through 
 the sieve all that will go through of the pota- 
 toes and hops. Mix the flour and liquid well. 
 Set the jar aside till the yeast is luke-warm ; 
 add half a pint of old or baker's yeast ; let it 
 rise for 24 hours ; put it in stone jugs, half full, 
 and cork tight, and put the jugs into a cool 
 place. 
 
 To Make White Bread. 
 Sift three quarts of flour into a bread-pan of 
 wood or tin. Add to the flour three teaspoons- 
 ful of salt. Make a hole in the middle, and put 
 half a pint of yeast into it. Put in a pitcher a 
 quart of new milk, or a quart of lukewarm water, 
 with a piece of butter in it the size of an ^^%. 
 
96 THE KITCHEN. 
 
 Pour from the pitcher, gradually mixing with 
 a wooden spoon from the centre, until you have 
 absorbed all the flour. Some flour requires 
 more milk or water, some less, but you must 
 pour gradually till the flour is absorbed, and 
 not a wet dough. Cover the pan with a clean 
 cloth kept for the purpose, and then the cover 
 (if there is no cover a thicker cloth), and put 
 it in a moderately warm place to rise. In sum- 
 mer bread should be mixed early in the morn- 
 ing, for it will rise in 5 or 6 hours, and as soon 
 as it is risen well, and the bubbles appear on 
 the top, it should be kneaded. In winter the 
 last thing at night, and it will probably be ready, 
 by the time the ovens are hot enough in the 
 morning for kneading. When risen, knead it 
 for ten minutes, make it into loaves, butter the 
 pans, put the bread into them, half filling them, 
 set the pans on the hearth, and let the bread 
 rise in them for half an hour before putting 
 
GRAHAM BREAD. 97 
 
 them into the oven. It will take from an hour 
 and a quarter to an hour and a-half to bake in a 
 moderately heated oven. When apparently- 
 done turn the loaves bottom upward for ten 
 minutes in the oven. When it is taken out of 
 the oven, let the loaves stand upon a table, 
 covering the loaves with a cloth till the bread 
 is cold. Bread should not be cut the same day 
 it is baked. Could I persuade my fellow coun- 
 trymen and women not to eat hot bread, or 
 bread made with soda or saleratus, I should 
 have done a great good. I believe it to be one 
 of the causes of dyspepsia, indigestion, pale 
 skins and bad teeth. It must be of hot bread 
 that Shakespeare writes in Henry V, '* Gets 
 him to bed crammed with distressful bread." 
 
 To Make Graham Bread, or Bread of Unbolted Flour. 
 The same receipt, but that Graham flour re- 
 quires more yeast (3 gills instead of half a 
 
98 THE KITCHEN. 
 
 pint), and when risen, before kneading, add ^ 
 a pint of good New Orleans or Santa Cruz 
 molasses. Of late years the good old " sugar- 
 house " molasses is rare. 
 
 Graham bread is made like white bread with 
 two exceptions. It takes half as much again 
 yeast (3 gills), and ^ pint molasses. 
 
 Rice. 
 
 A most desirable food for children and to 
 be boiled much like potatoes, rice was long 
 known in the East before its introduction into 
 Europe. It was introduced into Carolina about 
 the year 1697, and the Carolina rice is now far 
 superior to the India rice. It grows in marshy 
 and inundated lands. The Chinese and Japan- 
 ese are almost dependent upon it for food. In 
 the East Indies it is called " paddy." The 
 inhabitants of the East distil from it an intoxi- 
 cating liquor called " rak." 
 
RICE. 99 
 
 To three pints of boiling water put a quarter 
 of a cup of salt. To this add half a pint of 
 rice, which has been washed in several waters 
 till the water is clear. Boil the rice for fifteen 
 minutes, pour off the water, and cover the rice 
 with a clean cloth, to steam ; or throw it into 
 a colander. Boil fifteen minutes and steam 
 twenty, and throw the rice into the dish in 
 which it is to be served. The rice should be 
 dry, mealy, and every grain separate. 
 
 Cold rice can be heated with a little milk, a 
 small piece of butter and one or two eggs well 
 beaten, making a very pretty dish for break- 
 fast — of a pale yellow color. 
 
 Heated with milk, butter, and from four to 
 six eggs and a teaspoonful of flour, it makes 
 very nice breakfast cakes, whether baked in 
 mufifin rings, or upon the griddle, which should 
 be (if of soapstone) rubbed with salt and not 
 with butter. The cakes are more wholesome. 
 If an iron griddle it must be buttered. 
 
lOO 77/ A' A //■(■// /'.N. 
 
 Roastiu}^. 
 
 I'o roasi iiUMiis to took />(/i>rt- llic lire iidf in 
 .'III oviii. r..il.((l meals arc of a very (liiTfrcnt 
 llavor Iroin ro.isliMl mcil'.. U oast iii!';, within 
 my rccolU'tt ion, w.r. done with a sniokc-jaclc. 
 The jack was |)ut thronj;h the iiric ks ol tlic 
 ( himnc)', witli a i cvol vin;; wheel wit Inn, with 
 fans, — wllieli wlieel was tnriied h\' the hcate(i 
 air risinj; in the ( liinme)'. ()ntsi(le w.is a 
 
 \\he<'' witll a <iee|) j'.ioove, over whiiil was 
 passed tiie (hain whi( li lonnected with thi; 
 .spit heiow, al'.o iiavinj; a wiieel with .i i;roove 
 in it the si)it s.n|)|)< »i t ed on the otiiei .si(h' 
 l>y a standaid in wiiich it tnrnid. I'wo oi" 
 three tlnnj's conid he roastid at one lime on 
 this spit, ea( Ii with it', tin tia\' to lalih the 
 ^ravy ; a loMini; tin seicen held and iclleeted 
 the heat. Miieli hakin;; was done in pots with 
 three h'j'.s, nnder wiiieli, and on the eo\'i'r of 
 wliii h, were- hu koiy loak-;. I'he ovtMi was of 
 
ROASTING. lOI 
 
 brick at the side of the fire-place, heated by 
 logs of wood burnt in it, then brushed out, and 
 cake and pastry first baked, and then bread. 
 
 Later a Rumford oven was used, very much, 
 in its operation, like the range ovens now, with 
 dampers, and heated by a fire underneath. I 
 remember the introduction of the Rumford 
 oven as rather an innovation. It was called 
 the '^ Rumford " oven because invented by 
 Count Rumford, who was a native of New 
 England. He was made a Lieutenant-General 
 and Count Rumford for various and many ser- 
 vices rendered by him to the King of Bavaria. 
 His name was Benjamin Thompson. 
 
 The best modern way of roasting is the 
 bottle-jack, which is wound up, and the meats 
 turn without stopping. It may be done in a 
 dutch-oven, as it is called, but this has the dis- 
 advantage of being dependant upon the cook 
 to turn it as frequently as it should be turned. 
 
102 THE KITCHEN. 
 
 No meats or poultry should be washed be- 
 fore roasting, broiling, or frying. If they are 
 washed, a steaming process begins before the 
 roasting and destroys the proper result. . 
 
 Dark meats require no basting — white meats 
 and poultry a great deal — but no water. Wa- 
 ter is good for washing dishes, boiling what- 
 ever is to be boiled, but weakens everything 
 into which it is put, and used in roasting, bak- 
 ing, broiling, frying, soddens the meat and 
 makes it unwholesome. 
 
 For gravies there should be a stock made 
 and kept ready. It can be made from bones. 
 
 For white sauces there should be a stock 
 made of veal, or the bones of poultry, kept 
 ready for use. 
 
 For drawn butter, no water but milk, always 
 
 milk. An ^^^ well-beaten stirred in, enriches 
 its taste and color. 
 
FRYING. 103 
 
 Frying. 
 To fry means to put meat or whatever is 
 to be fried mto boiling fat, boiling at the high- 
 est degree. Sauter, as the French call it, is 
 only to have some fat, butter, or olive oil boil- 
 ing, and put what you have upon it, turning 
 till done. Omelettes, eggs, etc., are saut^, 
 but frying means to plunge the meat, etc., 
 into fat. It is a rare excellence in America 
 to fry well. The French understand it, but 
 the use of water in American kitchens comes 
 much in the way of good cooking, and the 
 croton faucets make the use of it very tempt- 
 ing. 
 
CHAPTER IX, 
 SPINACH FISH — TEA-MAKING. 
 
 The well cooking of spinach is rare, so I give 
 the direction : 
 
 Take from the leaves of the spinach all the 
 stalks, wash the leaves in several waters, shake 
 them well out, and put them into a saucepan 
 without watery and a little salt. They throw 
 out water enough to boil themselves. When 
 tender, throw them into a colander and pound 
 them through the holes. One might cook a bush- 
 el of spinach at once, put into a mould and cut 
 it off as it is wanted. The French sometimes 
 make a stack of it. It is better for standing 
 and should be heated with salt and butter, and 
 
 served with little bits of toast. 
 
 104 
 
TEA, 105 
 
 An old French abbe was in the habit of put- 
 ting a padlock on the spinach pot that he 
 might not be defrauded of the flavor of the 
 old spinach. You will, perhaps, remember, 
 that in the introduction to Quentin Durward, 
 that " what the old maitre d' Hotels valued 
 himself upon, as something superb, was an im- 
 mense assiette of spinach not smoothed to a 
 uniform surface as by our uninaugurated cooks, 
 but swelling into hills and declining into 
 vales, over which swept a gallant stag pursued 
 by a pack of hounds artificially cut of toasted 
 bread." 
 
 How to make Tea. 
 Tea can be made well only by having a kettle 
 which is used for nothing else, a sediment is then 
 impossible. The kettle should be filled with 
 cold-filtered water, and the moment it boils 
 scald the tea-pot and make the tea. If the 
 
io6 riiK Km J I EN. 
 
 water stands after boilinjj;, the tea is never clear. 
 Scald ihf tea-pot, put in three heapini; tea- 
 spoonfuls to a (|uart of boiling water. Li-t it 
 stand .ihoul cii^hL uiinuti-s and pour it out. 
 In wintt-r, a folded na[>kiii shoidd be thrown 
 ovir the tea pot that the heat may not t'seapc\ 
 
 II tlic tr.i-pot is o( thina of wart:, it should 
 be set upon the hearth that it may be well 
 heati'd belon- the tea is made. 
 
 'The Japane-.e make tiu'ir tea in a eu[) and 
 drild-v it almost immediately. 
 
 The ("hinese make it in one pot, and when 
 tlrawn j)our it into anothei to avoid too strong 
 a detoetion. I ha\'e sein a ( himse tea pot of 
 their jxeuliar biown ware, with an elont;.ited, 
 perfoiated bowl fittinijf into the top of tlu^ tea- 
 ])ot. Into this the tea leaves were i)nt, and the 
 j)ot fdled with boilin;^" watc-r. After a few mo- 
 ments the bowl t.d<en out, .uid the ccjver put 
 on. 
 
I'lsii. 107 
 
 Fish. 
 
 W(j have, probably, in New York, the finest 
 fish market in the worKl, and fish is often sadly 
 abused in the preparation and cooknig. Cut- 
 ting off the heads and tails of fish is a barbar- 
 ism. The most delicate part of a cod is the 
 meat about the eye. To boil fish it should be 
 placed upon the drainer of the fish kettle and 
 plun-.>e(l into water, boiling at the highest de- 
 gree, into which one half a cup of salt and half 
 a cup of vinegar has been put. Jioiled at a 
 gallop, and when free frcjin the bone the fish is 
 done. Lift the drainer and try whether the 
 meat is free from the bone at the back of the 
 fish. The drainer is placed across the kettle 
 for the fish to drain, 
 
 Mr. Isaac Walton quotes from Du Bartas in 
 liis complete angler : 
 
 God quickened in the sea, and in the rivers 
 So many fishes of so many features, 
 
I08 THE KITCHEN. 
 
 That in the water we may see all creatures; 
 Even all that on the earth are to be found, 
 As if the world were in deep waters drowned. 
 
 I must give you Isaac Walton's receipt for 
 cooking pike. He says: ''This dish of meat 
 is too good for any but anglers, or very honest 
 men ; and I trust you will prove both, and 
 therefore, I have trusted you with this secret. 
 
 " Open the pike at the gills, and if need be, 
 cut also a slit towards the belly. Out of these 
 take the guts. Keep his liver ; which you are 
 to shred very small with thyme^ sweet mar- 
 joram and a little white savoury ; to these put 
 some pickled oysters and two or three ancho- 
 vies, these last whole, for the anchovies will 
 melt, and the oysters should not. To these 
 you must add a pound of sweet butter which 
 you are to mix with the herbs that are shred 
 and let them all be well salted. If the pike be 
 more than a yard long then you may put into 
 
FISH, 109 
 
 these herbs more than a pound, or if he be 
 less, then less butter will suffice. These with 
 a blade or two of mace must be put into the 
 pike's belly, and then his belly sewed up to 
 keep the butter in. But take not off the scales. 
 Then you are to thrust the spit thro' his 
 mouth and out at his tail. Take four, five or 
 six split sticks or thin laths, and a convenient 
 quantity of tape, and bind the laths round the 
 pike's body from his head to his tail, to pre- 
 vent his breaking on the spit. Let him be 
 roasted leisurely and often basted with claret 
 wine, anchovies and butter, and with what 
 moisture falls in the pan. When roasted, you 
 are to hold him over the dish you purpose to 
 eat him out of; cut the tapes and let him fall 
 into the dish unbroken and complete. You 
 are to add a fit quantity of the best butter to 
 the sauce in the pan, and the juice of four 
 oranges. You may add garlic, but this is left 
 to your discretion." 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 CHILDREN. 
 
 Babies and Motherhood. 
 
 A subject which I approach with doubt and 
 reverence. There are so many inheritances 
 from generations before, moral, physical and 
 mental, that it is almost impossible to lay down 
 rules ; but there are always the same duties of 
 prevention and assistance^ of love, sympathy 
 and endurance. 
 
 A mother's duties begin long before the 
 birth of her child, in keeping herself in good 
 condition of mind and body, in avoiding un- 
 natural excitements, taking proper exercise, 
 eating wholesome food, and, in short, acting 
 
 with common sense with regard to the result. 
 
 no 
 
BABIES, 1 1 1 
 
 There is nothing in her condition, unless she 
 be an invalid, when she deserves the greatest 
 care and sympathy, to prevent her performing 
 most of the duties or taking the pleasures that 
 she can under ordinarv circumstances ; but let 
 her avoid fatigue which is dangerous. For a 
 strong and well woman to lie about, dress care- 
 lessly, and make her condition an excuse for 
 neglecting her duties and disarranging her 
 household is unpardonable. Every one we see 
 has been born ; if it were so difficult a matter 
 some other way would have been found for 
 bringing children into the world. The great 
 suffering and pangs of child-birth are, like many 
 other provisions of nature, incomprehensible to 
 us, but they are, no doubt, much increased by 
 the artificial life we lead, and by conventional 
 restraints of clothes and habits. They are, 
 however, natural sufferings, and can, usually, 
 be borne without bad after results, and are, 
 
112 CHILDREN: 
 
 fortunately, forgotten with the sight of the 
 the child, the new man or woman brought into 
 the world in an instant transformed into a liv- 
 ing " soul/' We know very little what the 
 word " soul " means. We can feel it, however, 
 if we cannot explain it. 
 
 Now is the time for lying down, taking rest, 
 becoming strong and able to perform the new 
 duties. Let no foolish vanity or impatience 
 tempt the young mother to make exertions 
 which may weaken her for life. The month of 
 confinement is a blessing, for one has ti'me to 
 become acquainted with the new care, and to 
 realize, in some degree, the future responsibili- 
 ties. Some mothers never realize them. 
 
 After the birth of the child, the mother, no 
 matter how strong she may be, should be kept 
 in perfect quiet for five days ; no visiting, no 
 talking in her room ; absolute freedom from 
 all outward excitements. Friends who have 
 
BABIES, 113 
 
 waited nine months to see the new comer may 
 wait, patiently, a few days longer, and would 
 undoubtedly be glad to do so^ were they con- 
 vinced that it is best. 
 
 Leave the mother and her child to them- 
 selves. Their welfare and future comfort de- 
 pend much upon it. If the mother is not 
 strong, then ten days of quiet. 
 
 Let this little new being never regret that it 
 has been brought into the world. Let it learn 
 looks of love, sympathy, tenderness and gen- 
 tleness from your face. Let its rest be at your 
 side, until it can make its wants understood. 
 If you cannot bear the trouble and wakeful- 
 ness, do not expect a hired nurse to do so. 
 Some mothers may not have the strength, and, 
 for their childrens' sake, must devolve such 
 care upon another; let it be done with watch- 
 fulness. 
 
 If you have the comfort of being able to 
 
I 14 CHILDREN, 
 
 nurse your children, it must be done with regu- 
 larity ; first at two hours' interval, then three, 
 then four. It is safe to say every two hours 
 the first two months, then three, and if a hearty 
 baby at four months, once in four hours is 
 often enough. Every engagement must yield 
 to this duty, if you wish your child to have 
 good digestion, good temper and undisturbed 
 sleep. You must also have the self-denial not 
 to eat anything which may disagree with you 
 and affect the milk. A bowl of gruel at night 
 is better than oysters, salad and ice cream, 
 which are often taken at evening parties, and 
 at such late hours as would be, in themselves, 
 sufficient to condemn the practice. While the 
 baby is nursing is a good time for reading. By 
 having a book always at hand a mother may 
 gain many an hour's reading. 
 
 If a mother cannot nurse a child herself, my 
 preference would always be to feed it either 
 
BABIES. 1 1 5 
 
 with a spoon or with a bottle. From a nurse 
 a child must draw much of the peculiarities of 
 constitution. If, from necessity, from delicacy of 
 health, or for any sufficient reason, a child must 
 have a wet nurse, let the woman be carefully 
 examined by a physician, and her milk analysed 
 before giving a child into her care. If fed with 
 a bottle, the most watchful care should be given 
 to the freshness and purity of the bottle. It 
 should be scalded as soon as used, and left in 
 cold water or in the air till needed again. 
 
 Babies can hardly be kept too warm ; flan-, 
 nel round the body in some form, till after 
 teething; warm feet and cool heads; plenty 
 of fresh air; not too much light, especially 
 while sleeping; perfect cleanliness, and to be 
 let alone. If a baby from its birth is laid 
 upon its back after bathing, dressing or nurs- 
 ing, it will go to sleep, or lie awake happy and 
 contented with a passing word, and it is much 
 
Il6 CHILDREN. 
 
 more likely to have a strong back and straight 
 legs then when rocked and tended, or placed 
 upon a lap not long enough to support it. 
 There are, of course, times when a baby may 
 require tending and soothing, but, as a rule, 
 they should be let alone as much as possible. 
 
 It is usually the bequest of monthly nurses 
 to leave .children as troublesome as possible. 
 Make an agreement with them from the first, 
 that they are to let the babies alone except in 
 performing their necessary duties. 
 
 Do not make the bathing of a baby an ex* 
 posure. In almost all weathers, not oppress 
 sively warm, it is better to bathe babies before 
 a fire. The head, ears, face and neck should 
 be washed and dried while wrapped in its 
 blanket, then the little body, under the arms, 
 legs and feet, soaped, put into its tepid bath, 
 washed off quickly and thoroughly, taken out 
 in a blanket or large flannel apron, dried quickly 
 
DISCIPLINE. 117 
 
 and well, powdered with sifted starch (powder 
 is often adulterated) and dressed. A baby 
 should be nursed or fed after its bath and not 
 before. The baby may cry v/ith impatience, 
 but crying is the proper exercise of the lungs, 
 and its only mode of expression. 
 
 Beware of so-called discipline. Teach a child 
 obedience by its understanding, that when you 
 say no, you mean no. It saves a child from a 
 world of doubt, perplexity and uncertainty. 
 To be uncertain what one can or ought to do, 
 is a great evil to grown people, and, with a 
 child, if submission is not always cheerful, it 
 is soon understood to be a necessity. Chil- 
 dren are, usually, happy as the day is long 
 even under the most adverse circumstances, if 
 not interfered with. The happiness of chil- 
 dren is not something to be procured and pre- 
 pared for them like their daily food ; but a 
 something they already possess, and with 
 
Il8 CHILDREN, 
 
 which wc need not concern ourselves any 
 furtlier lli.in to see that they are not despoiled 
 of it. Little children are sometimes fretful, 
 impatient, crying and uncomfortable, when 
 they need a comforting hug, a caress, a sooth- 
 ing word, even a drink of cold water — not 
 threats nor harsli words. We have apostolic 
 authority for this (Ephesians VI. 9), " Forbear- 
 ing threatening." 
 
 Teach children to come to you for comfort 
 and relief. A diversion to some object or play 
 may ward off a fit of temper. Let love be the 
 rule with little children. 
 
 A young mother with her little boy of 
 twenty months old was breakfasting with me 
 the other morning ; the child had eaten as 
 many grapes as were good for him, but was 
 determined to have more ; he screamed, 
 reached for them, was resolute. The mamma 
 quietly took him from his chair, struggling. 
 
DISCIPLINE. 1 19 
 
 walked into another room with him, tried to 
 divert him with the sliding doors and looking 
 out of the window, but he got out of her arms 
 and pulled away from her, and ran into the 
 corner. His mamma returned to the breakfast 
 table. Presently the little fellow appeared at 
 the door of the room, and said, " morning." 
 We all welcomed his return, and he was 
 again lifted into his high chair, but there 
 was no further question about the grapes. 
 This would have been an occasion for so- 
 called discipline. He understood that '* No" 
 meant " No." 
 
 Little children have objects for the moment. 
 Let them pursue them without interruption. 
 A child, before it can talk, is toddling after a 
 ball, the nurses snatches him at the moment 
 to be washed and dressed, and the poor child 
 is thrown into a violent passion. It is imme- 
 diately supposed to be naughty and trouble- 
 
120 CHILDREN. 
 
 some, and here is another opportunity for dis- 
 cipline. 
 
 Never strike a child. It is an easy way of 
 trying to teach submission, but is often utterly 
 useless or worse. It is usually done with 
 anger and impatience, and is not calculated 
 to inspire love or respect for the parent or self 
 control in the child, to say nothing of its being 
 cowardly. I fully agree with the little boy 
 who, after taking a whipping manfully, said, 
 " If I wanted to whip a fellow, I'd find one of 
 my own size." Expect children to do what 
 is right as a matter of course, and they are 
 more likely not to go wrong to say the least. 
 No bribes, no rewards for doing their duty. 
 
 Don't ask questions, and never exact prom- 
 ises. Children are taught falsehood and deceit 
 by threatening looks and questions. Children, 
 with rare exceptions, are by nature truthful 
 and trusting. Lying is deliberately taught, 
 
MO THER' S INFL UENCE. 1 2 1 
 
 and in most cases is the result of fear in young 
 children. 
 
 Never make a bug-bear of your husband 
 with ''What will papa say?" ''I'll tell your 
 father," etc., etc. The care and direction of 
 little children belong to the mother. Her in- 
 fluence and word should be sufficient, and her 
 task is easier where there is no appeal. Let 
 the father (especially if he is a man of busi- 
 ness) have all the enjoyment he has time for 
 with his little children in his hours of leisure ; 
 they will need all his sympathy and influence 
 as they grow older. 
 
 In a conversation between Napoleon and 
 Madame de Stael on the subject of education, 
 Madame de Stael said : " The influence of the 
 mother is important." Napoleon said : '' You 
 have there a system of education in one word, 
 the mother." I cannot remember where I read 
 this, and may not quote the words correctly. 
 
122 CHILDREN. 
 
 Occupation and freedom from checking are 
 among the great secrets of happiness with chil- 
 dren. I once heard a fidgetty mother, who was 
 constantly finding fault, appeal to her hostess 
 as to whether the little girl did not annoy her, 
 and was glad to hear her say (though very im- 
 polite) *' She does not, but you do." 
 
 A child under two or three years of age will 
 amuse itself day after day with a crooked stick, 
 the handle of a broom, a tin mug without a 
 bottom, a string of empty spools, a handful of 
 pebbles, and invests them with a meaning of 
 which we do not dream. These are far better 
 than costly toys, which can only be changed by 
 being broken, and the power of change is the 
 charm of imagination. They are tranquilly 
 happy if not interfered with, and " it is a great 
 thing only to have known by experience that 
 
 tranquil, temperate felicity is actually attain- 
 able on earth." 
 
CHAPTER XL 
 
 CHILDREN UNDER TWELVE. 
 
 Do not allow dress to interfere with this 
 
 " tranquil felicity," nor mourn over soiled or 
 
 torn dresses. A dozen plain little frocks may 
 
 be washed and ironed in the same time that it 
 
 will take to '' do up " one of modern finery, 
 
 with fluted ruffles and lace. Such dress is the 
 
 bane of little children's existence. It costs a 
 
 great deal, and should be taken care of and not 
 
 abused ; but if you consider it necessary to 
 
 have such dress for occasions, or to be equal 
 
 with your neighbors, take care of it, I pray, in 
 
 a bureau drawer. Children do not need such 
 
 adornment. It is a mere vanity, and a very 
 
 123 
 
124 CHILDREN UNDER TWELVE. 
 
 bad example. Let children be scrupulously 
 clean and tasteful, but never fine. 
 
 Little children should be put to bed in the 
 middle of the day till five years old. They re- 
 quire rest from their constant activity, then 
 taken up, washed, dressed and prepared for 
 their dinner, and allow no eating between 
 meals. Much restlessness is avoided by this 
 rule, and good digestion preserved. If a child 
 is delicate and requires more frequent food, let 
 it be given at a stated hour as a lunch. The 
 dinner should be wholesome, attractive, well 
 served and well cooked, the mamma presiding. 
 Many a pleasant hour for children the dinner 
 may secure. 
 
 God has placed us in families. Let us feel 
 and prove ourselves grateful for so great a gift, 
 and remember, that from these families, of 
 whatever grade or position, all the influence 
 of the world comes. No man or woman ever 
 
EA RL V IMP RE SSIONS. 1 2 5 
 
 outlives the influence of these early years ; they 
 are the most important of life. Locke says : 
 
 I think I may say that of all the men we meet 
 with, nine parts often are what they are, good or 
 evil, useful or not, by their education. The little 
 or almost insensible impressions on our tender in- 
 fancies have very important consequences ; and 
 there it is, as in the fountains of rivers where a 
 gentle application of the hand turns flexible waters 
 into channels that make them take quite contrary 
 courses ; and, by this little direction given them, 
 at first and in the source, they receive different 
 tendencies, and arrive, at last, at very remote dis- 
 tant places ; imagine the minds of children as easily 
 turned this way or that as water itself. 
 
 Dugald Stewart says : 
 
 From the intimate and almost indissoluble com- 
 binations which we are led to form in infancy and 
 early youth may be traced many of our speculative 
 errors ; many of our most powerful principles of 
 action ; many perversions of our moral judgment 
 and many of those prejudices which mislead us in 
 the conduct of life. 
 
 " What permanent effects are produced on the 
 happiness and character of individuals by the 
 casual associations formed in childhood among the 
 
126 CHILDREN UNDER TWELVE. 
 
 various ideas, feelings and affections with which 
 they were habitually occupied. 
 
 Atmosphere is education — the atmosphere 
 that surrounds children, not the number of 
 lessons learned. Education consists in the 
 training of the mind, not in studying or read- 
 ing a certain number of books. One may 
 have read many books, and possess many ac- 
 complishments, and yet be ignorant. He who 
 can think clearly, feel rightly, and distinguish 
 with discrimination, is the educated man. 
 
 The society of servants is not good for chil- 
 dren. Keep them as much as possible with 
 yourself ; let them always have free access to 
 you. Let them understand that the drawing- 
 room is for their benefit as well as yours. 
 Children are imitative and observing, and will 
 adopt the manners of those with whom they 
 live. Children in America (I speak of them 
 in a mass) are usually considered privileged 
 
RESPECT TO ELDERS. 12 J 
 
 characters; they become a nuisance to strangers 
 and to all not personally interested in them. 
 It is all wrong. Children are very much under- 
 rated. They are capable of being the pleas- 
 antest companions, of fully comprehending 
 that they are a part of the society in which 
 they find themselves, and of conducting them- 
 selves appropriately, if they are accepted on 
 that footing. Treat them with common sense. 
 Do not talk of children before them, making 
 them believe that they are quite wonderful 
 because they have the usual human faculties ; 
 nor treat them like toys, and dress them for 
 exhibitions. 
 
 Enforce respect and consideration to teach- 
 ers. If you are willing to accept a person as 
 instructor to your children, he or she should 
 be worthy of their respect and deference. In- 
 sist upon kindness and politeness to servants. 
 
 Children should be the blessings of life ; a 
 
128 CHILDREN UNDER TWELVE. 
 
 great care, a great responsibility, but we have 
 the highest authority, that "• of such are the 
 Kingdom of Heaven." 
 
 Children are easily taught to read as a 
 pleasure, not a task. I have seen two chil- 
 dren, one on either side of the mother, books 
 in one hand and pins in the other, and a black- 
 board in front, looking for all the " its " and 
 " ofs " on the page, a chase for the largest 
 number, and then writing the words on the 
 board with a piece of chalk. It and of mean 
 something, and are quite as easy as b-a ba 
 and a-b ab. This makes reading easy, and 
 leads easily to the larger words. 
 
 Children soon learn to handle the chalk with 
 ease. A little fellow, not four years old, had 
 made a line of P's across the black-board ; the 
 first few and the last few were good, the mid- 
 dle ones very uncertain in their poise. Upon 
 being remonstrated with, he said, '' Don't 
 
LESSONS. 129 
 
 laugh at them, they are my poor sick P's." 
 The same little boy has just learned " prig ;" 
 the next word was pointed out several times 
 without attracting his attention, when he said, 
 *' I am considering the spelling of * prig.' If 
 it hadn't an r, it would be pig." 
 
 I am tempted to translate from a letter of 
 X. Doudan's a few words on the subject of the 
 education of children : 
 
 Paul then begins to speak like grown people. 
 Does he begin to write ? It is best, certainly, to 
 urge nothing with so many resources and aids of all 
 kinds for learning. If he is a year behind the com- 
 mon standard, it will be rather a great good for his 
 health than injury to his mind. What should be 
 first obtained is the great prize of health. The fac- 
 ulties grow all alone, and in these early years a 
 little more or less of orthography and chronology is 
 of no importance. 
 
 Nature strengthens herself under a little peaceful 
 discipline, which limits itself to prevent evil. The 
 most precious qualities even of the mind find their 
 nourishment not so much in these little villainous 
 
130 CHILDREN UNDER TWELVE. 
 
 elementary books as in the accidents and lively re- 
 pose of daily life. 
 
 To hear conversation and thought around one, to 
 comprehend, little by little, by seeing and listening 
 to what is just, elegant, simple, and elevated, all 
 this is learned early or never. Studies which have 
 not been painful in the beginning of life become 
 more certainly a pleasure in later years. They are 
 mingled in the memory with all the innocent pleas- 
 ures and leisure hours of imagination. More people 
 would love Virgil if they remembered reading the 
 first pages without being urged or well scolded while 
 the gay sun shone into the room, and the bees 
 buzzed about the windows or settled upon the 
 book where their life is related two thousand years 
 ago. Provided minds gain force and truth and 
 color, is it not well to leave them to vegetate at first 
 in that half sleep, so happy, where all is blended — 
 the affections of the family, the pleasure of loving, 
 of learning, of doing nothing ? Later Paul will re- 
 call altogether your step in the adjoining room, the 
 benevolent gravity of Mr. H., the mountains of 
 Greece which he shows him on the map, the little 
 noise of the lake near the house, his rabbits who 
 run, and the natural history which he is taught. 
 All the most serious instructions, all the most frivo- 
 lous incidents as well as the most lively feelings will 
 mingle inseparably in the /memory which will pre- 
 
LESSONS. 131 
 
 serve days so sweet. It is from such depths all will 
 come — imagination, morality, the direction of taste. 
 Forced studies, the feeling of fatigue and ennui will 
 destroy all this strong and amiable chain of remem- 
 brances. Here is a discourse in favor of idleness ! 
 but, however, of that moral idleness which leaves 
 the trees to grow tranquilly on the border of beauti- 
 ful waters without shaking them to make the sap rise. 
 
 Children should not be kept sitting at their 
 lessons for more than two or three hours at a 
 time, and above all things let them not learn 
 words which they do not understand, rules 
 which they can never apply, and get their 
 minds confused, till lessons become a trial and 
 stupidity is taught. Spelling is best taught by 
 dictation. Read clearly and distinctly to chil- 
 dren from some good author, and let them 
 write from the dictation ; pick out the badly 
 spelt words, and let them write them over two 
 or three times. They are rarely forgotten. 
 
 I would teach children languages as they 
 learn their own, by the sound, committing to 
 
132 CHILDREN UNDER TWELVE. 
 
 memory, reading them aloud and learning what 
 the words mean. 
 
 " It is a matter of the greatest satisfaction " 
 says Mr. Emerson, '' that the only true mode 
 of learning language, the natural one, by word 
 of .mouth from living teachers, is becoming 
 common ; the language itself first and after- 
 wards the philosophy of it, the rules. It is 
 most desirable that this mode of learning the 
 ancient languages should be introduced, to 
 learn first the language, to read and understand 
 it, and afterwards the rules. Indeed, I would 
 not recommend the study even of Greek, if 
 most or much of the time given to it had to be 
 thrown away upon the grammar. The true 
 mode, Agassiz's mode of teaching on all sub- 
 jects, is becoming more and more common." 
 
 It has become a fashion to have French 
 nurses, that children may learn to speak the 
 French language. This is usually a failure in 
 
LESSONS. 133 
 
 two directions. With rare exception the 
 French spoken by the nurse is bad, and chil- 
 dren acquire an accent not easily eradicated. 
 The strongest impressions of language are re- 
 ceived in early life, and the mingling of the 
 two languages injures the English accent. We 
 should not engage an English, American or 
 Irish nurse to teach our children English, why 
 teach them doubtful French ? 
 
 Let children learn to speak their own lan- 
 guage. It is a rare accomplishment to speak 
 English elegantly, correctly, or even grammati- 
 cally, and when one hears English spoken with 
 a sweet chest voice, with good enunciation 
 and purity of language it is charming, one 
 stops to listen. It stamps the speaker as well 
 bred, well educated, and of good early associa- 
 tions. 
 
 Let your children become acquainted with 
 the English classics ; let them, read the best 
 
134 CHILDREN UNDER TWELVE. 
 
 English authors, let them commit to memory 
 the best poetry, it will be a pleasure through 
 life. 
 
 At the age of nine or ten these children can 
 begin to study French, Italian, German or 
 Spanish, under educated teachers with great 
 advantage, and will be able to understand the 
 peculiarities of the languages and to be directed 
 in the acquisition of them. In engaging teach- 
 ers of English have a regard to their accent 
 and intonation, and beware of nasality. The 
 study of Latin should be begun at an early 
 age with both girls and boys ; it aids them very 
 much in the better comprehension of English 
 and other languages. 
 
 In the acquisition of language, there is an 
 excellent exercise and one which is a pleasure 
 to children. Give them for one instance ** sky ;" 
 what adjectives can be applied to sky? It may 
 be spoken of as serene, stormy, clear, overcast, 
 
LESSONS. 135 
 
 gloomy, lowering, bright, resplendent, brilliant, 
 deep, dull, red, gray, blue, vaulted, boundless, 
 etc. Yet more adjectives may be applied to 
 clouds. They may be thick, thin, heavy, light, 
 dark, fleecy, fleaky, massive, dense, stormy, rush- 
 ing, flying, flitting, motionless, broken, scattered, 
 condensed, piled, lowering, cold, silvery, fringed, 
 rainy, snowy, gathering, clearing, electric, etc., 
 etc. I gained this idea from Isaac Taylor, and 
 it is fully illustrated in the Falls of Lodore, by 
 Southey, showing how many descriptive words 
 may be used for water. This is an amusing 
 and useful game for children. 
 
 As a study of verbs. What can the eye do ? 
 see, discern, descry, contemplate, gaze upon, 
 etc. What can a boy do ? walk, run, swim, 
 creep, jump, leap, spring, climb, advance, re- 
 tire, slide, bow, ride, dance, stumble, strike, lift, 
 carry, bring, etc., etc. 
 
 Children should, if possible, be taught to 
 
136 CHILDREN UNDER TWELVE. 
 
 dance at an early age. It gives them ease of 
 motion in every way, free use of their limbs, 
 besides being a great pleasure and good exer- 
 cise, and boys, when they are old enough 
 should be taught to fence, but boys and girls 
 should be prevented from overtasking their 
 strength, lifting heavy weights, taking too long 
 walks, or skating for too many hours in suc- 
 cession, etc., etc. All fatigue and over exer- 
 tion should be avoided with growing children. 
 Very little children are often seriously injured 
 by long walks, and by being allowed to walk at 
 too early an age. Parents sometimes forget 
 that walking and speaking are not accomplish- 
 ments, but natural functions. 
 
 Teach children to be useful ; they enjoy the 
 sense of being useful to themselves and others. 
 A great deal that is afterward taught with diffi- 
 culty is thus a source of great pleasure to the 
 child. I speak not only of girls but boys. Let 
 
CHILDREN'S BOOKS. 13/ 
 
 them have a care in the household, and above 
 all things, inculcate a sense of responsibility. 
 I remember two little girls of five and six, 
 whose duty it was on Saturday to collect and 
 divide the clothes for the wash ; and having 
 taken out those that required mending, the 
 older one sat down and wrote a list while the 
 younger one counted them. It was always 
 correct ; they had a pride in their work. Do 
 not allow children to lift and carry about chil- 
 dren younger than themselves, if you wish to 
 preserve them straight and well formed. 
 
 What are called *' children's books " not only 
 do harm but show a very false estimate of the 
 capacities of children. Stories of bad boys 
 and girls often give new, disagreeable, and in- 
 jurious suggestions, and stories of good boys 
 and girls, as a class, are quite out of daily life 
 and the influence uncalled for. The grammar 
 of " children's books " is often bad, adapted, as 
 
138 CHILDREN UNDER TWELVE. 
 
 it is supposed, to children's comprehension. 
 
 MotJicr Goose ^ on the contrary, is understood 
 to be grotesque, exaggerated, and ridiculous, 
 and children like it for these qualities, not be- 
 cause they believe the nonsensical and attrac- 
 ive stories. Alice s Adventures in Wonderland 
 has the same charm, though it has not the ad- 
 vantage of having delighted children for a 
 century at least. 
 
 The *' original poems," by Ann and Jane 
 Taylor, a very old English book, is charming 
 to children, but the moral not always accepted. 
 I read to a little boy '* careless Eliza," who 
 passed over the floor without picking up a pin 
 which she saw, with the comment, "' Dear me, 
 what signifies a pin ! " The next day 
 
 A party was to ride 
 
 To see an air balloon, 
 
 And all the company beside 
 
 Was dressed and ready soon, 
 
 But poor Eliza was not in 
 
 For want of just one single pin. 
 
CHILDREN 'S BOOKS. 1 39 
 
 The only comment was : " Why didn't that 
 company give her a pin ? " 
 
 There are few children old enough to be 
 read to, who cannot comprehend and enjoy 
 Hans Andersen's delightful stories ; the old 
 fairy tales of Cinderella, Jack and the Bean 
 Stalk, Cock Robin, and Jenny Wren, all good 
 old English ; the old English ballads of Chevy 
 Chase, Babes in the Wood, JoJin Gilpin; Rob- 
 inson Crusoe, yEsop's Fables. These I have 
 read to children, much to their delight, at four, 
 five and six years of age. Then Scott's Tales 
 of a Grandfather — almost all his novels — tJie 
 Arabian Nights; Mrs. Browning's charming 
 Swans Nest. Improve the taste for good 
 English, make the ear sensitive to bad gram- 
 mar and uneducated phraseology. Washing- 
 ton Irving is always a pleasure to little chil- 
 dren. His loving, genial nature pervades his 
 books, and finds prompt sympathy in them. 
 
I40 CHILDREN UNDER TWELVE. 
 
 His Life of Washington is delightful to chil- 
 dren, if read aloud to them. While reading 
 this aloud to a party of children one little fel- 
 low of five years said, " What has become of 
 old Putnam ? We haven't heard of him in two 
 days." 
 
 Insist upon politness always. The tendency 
 at present, to bad, I may say to no manners 
 in the young, makes this suggestion urgent. 
 Politeness at home is much more important 
 than politeness abroad, for it is an hourly ne- 
 cessity, and politeness for occasions is never 
 genuine. Like occasional dress it sits uneasily. 
 Consideration for the feelings and tastes and 
 even prejudices of those around one, respect 
 shown by being properly dressed and ready 
 for appointed times. No young or old person 
 can dress for any one who will care so much 
 about it as their parents, husband or wife, 
 brothers and sisters. Self-sacrifice in small 
 
PLA Y.ROOM. 141 
 
 things as well as large, listening politely, in 
 fact, no vulgar familiarity, no disregard of the 
 conventional rules of society. This promotes 
 a tender interest in the general happiness and 
 good of the family circle, that nothing else can 
 give. 
 
 If possible let children have a play-room be- 
 longing to themselves, where they can amuse 
 themselves when not engaged in their studies 
 or in the open air. Let them have compan- 
 ions and associates, but become fully ac- 
 quainted with them yourself. 
 
 I have known a family of children, all under 
 twelve, who wrote plays, made their dresses and 
 scenery, and performed them quite cleverly. 
 This called into action many faculties, and was 
 an amusement in which both boys and girls 
 were fully occupied. 
 
 I would cultivate, if possible, any indication 
 of talent in either boys or girls, for music, 
 
142 CHILDREN UNDER TWELVE. 
 
 drawing, painting, etc. These accomplish- 
 ments add a charm to the household, and are 
 a resource and safeguard — and may save one 
 from dependence later in life. Dress your 
 children well, neatly, tastefully — it is a part of 
 education, but avoid all foolish vain expense. 
 Save it for much more important objects. 
 There is rarely enough money to do all one 
 would desire to do. 
 
 Teach your daughters to sew. To be able to 
 do anything and everything with the needle 
 and scissors is a great and womanly accom- 
 plishment. If they are able to employ others 
 in sewing, let them give employment to those 
 who need it. It is the best kind of charity, 
 to teach those whom they employ. It is no 
 kindness to accept an ill-performed service, but 
 it is a great kindness to have patience in re- 
 quiring it to be done well. 
 
 I was touched by hearing a young seamstress 
 
SEWING. 143 
 
 say, upon admiring the neatness of her button- 
 holes, that a young lady, since dead, had taught 
 her to make them by patient attention. 
 
CHAPTER XTI. 
 
 SCHOOL OR HOME. 
 
 Having passed the age of infancy and child- 
 hood, my prejudices are in favor of home edu- 
 cation, if it can be conducted under the best 
 influences ; not if there is to be a stern and 
 formal mechanism, and rigid lifeless set of 
 rules — then, the idea of home education is lost. 
 A happy home is a necessity. Where there are 
 stern and gloomy tempers, or irritable tempera- 
 ments, send children to school by all means. 
 It is in the sunshine, literally and metaphori- 
 cally, that the mind and body reach their per- 
 fection. 
 
 Children of different minds and tempera- 
 
 144 
 
J^OYS, 145 
 
 ments require different treatment and influ- 
 ences. All children need companionship, but, 
 in a school, these distinctions are impossible. 
 Some children require the mechanical momen- 
 tum of a school ; others, of a shy or nervous 
 character, find it easier to meet strangers who 
 have no preconceptions with regard to them ; 
 all these considerations must be weighed, and 
 a decision thoughtfully made. 
 
 Boys have the advantage, perhaps, in schools 
 of finding their level among many, of gaining 
 self-confidence, and the stirring influence of 
 emulation, but they lose much in being de- 
 prived of constant association with their sisters. 
 At least I should desire that boys might be 
 educated at home till their principles and tastes 
 are so formed that they will recoil from vice 
 and vulgarity, and be strong enough to shape 
 their course with independence. If from cir- 
 cumstances boys must go to school, give them 
 
146 SCHOOL OK HOME. 
 
 as much of home influence as possible. 
 Charles Kingsley says : 
 
 The education of boys under the age of twelve 
 years ought to be entrusted as much as possible to 
 women. Let me ask, of what period of youth and 
 of manhood does not the same hold true ? I pity 
 the conceit and ignorance of the man who fancies 
 that he has nothing left to learn from cultivated 
 women. I should have thought the very mission 
 of woman was to be, in the highest sense, the edu- 
 cator of man from infancy to old age : that that was 
 the work towards which all the God-given capacities 
 of women pointed, for which they were to be edu- 
 cated to the highest pitch, * * * Let ii^e ask 
 women to educate themselves, not for their own sakes 
 merely, but for the sake of others, — for whether they 
 will or not they must educate others. I speak of 
 those, and in so doing, I speak of every woman, 
 young and old, who exercises as wife, as mother, as 
 aunt, as sister, or as friend, an influence, indirect 
 it may be and unconscious, but still potent and 
 practical on the minds and characters of those about 
 them, especially of men. 
 
 With girls I think home education most de- 
 sirable. After fourteen a shy and reserved girl 
 
GIRLS. 147 
 
 might be sent to school, but there seems little 
 to recommend school education for girls. The 
 home circle may be advantageously widened 
 by bringing in children of your friends to form 
 a part of the class at home. 
 
 The reasons which we admit for sending 
 boys to school do not apply to girls. We 
 would avoid the boldness of manner, the de- 
 sire to attract attention, and that want of 
 feminine reserve and grace, which school edu- 
 cation sometimes brings. There is also a 
 great disadvantage in the long confinement in 
 schools, especially to girls, and where there is 
 also the studying of lessons to be done at 
 home. It is a wear upon the nervous system 
 which is apt to injure the health and weaken 
 the power of acquiring knowledge, and at an 
 age when any such exhaustion should be care- 
 fully avoided. 
 
 If either boys or girls go to school, there 
 
I4<S SCHOOL OR HOME. 
 
 should be some one eit home, expecting their 
 return at the appointed hour, to learn the cx- 
 jjeriences of the day, and listen with sympa- 
 thetic interest to all that has occurred. Much 
 bad influence may be thus averted. 
 
 Home education involves no little toil and 
 many restraints upon parents which they must 
 be ready to meet. 
 
 If boys are sent to school, I quote from 
 Isaac Taylor : — 
 
 Girls should be educated at home with a constant 
 recollection that their brothers, and the future com- 
 panions of their lives, are at the same time at school, 
 making c:erlain accjuisitions indeed — dii)ping into 
 the Greek drama and the like, but receiving a very 
 partial training of the mind in the best sense ; or, 
 perha])s, only such training as chance may direct ; 
 and that they return to their homes, wanting in 
 genuine sentiments and in the refinement of the 
 heart, (iirls, well taught at home, may compel 
 their brothers to feel, when they return from school, 
 that although they may have gone some way bey(jnd 
 their sisters in mere scholarsliip, or in matliematieal 
 
AT HOME. 149 
 
 proficiency, they are actually inferior to them in 
 variety of information, in correctness of taste, and 
 in general maturity of understanding. With young 
 men of ingenuous tempers the consciousness of 
 their sisters' superiority in points which every day 
 they will be more willing to deem important, may 
 be turned to the best account. 
 
 I have known families of children where boys 
 and girls were educated together at home ; 
 but there was an atmosphere of reading and 
 conversation about them, much reading aloud, 
 interest in the events and progress of the 
 world, and travel abroad. It might not always 
 be best. It depends upon the family. 
 
 As your children grow into men and women 
 teach them to be busy. Lord Bacon says, 
 " In this theatre of life, it is permitted only for 
 God and angels to be lookers-on." Let them 
 draw, model, paint, do carpenter's work, turn- 
 ing, or take their part in charities with intelli- 
 gence. Idleness is not a passive but an active 
 
150 SCHOOL OR HOME. 
 
 ill. If they are inclined to mechanics give 
 them a room in which they can work. Let no 
 dread of inconvenience produce a great evil. 
 It is from this want of occupation, of tasteful 
 pursuits, that the need of external excitement 
 comes. 
 
 The cultivation of music in both boys and 
 girls is a constant bond of interest. Let them 
 not waste their time in learning it superficially. 
 Let them study it scientifically, both for their 
 pleasure and profit. 
 
 Drawing is an invaluable recreation. To a 
 mother the power of sketching for a child's 
 amusement and instruction can hardly be over- 
 rated. Let this be also thorough. Half the 
 world is blind. The advantage, even if they 
 have little talent, is that they may be taught 
 to see with discrimination. 
 
 It makes me sad to see girls walking to and 
 fro without object, sitting idle or devouring 
 
NOVELS. 151 
 
 foolish novels. Not that I do not like novels, 
 — a good, well-written novel is one of the 
 charms of life, does everyone good — but the 
 thousands of foolish novels and sentimental 
 tales that are read by the young do great 
 harm, in degrading the taste, and making 
 cultivating and instructive books distasteful. 
 
CHAPTER XIII. 
 HOME AND SOCIETY AND DRESS. 
 
 Children are your friends and associates — 
 often your advisers. The home is theirs as 
 well as yours. You have brought them into 
 it without any will of their own, and it is their 
 home. Make it theirs. Never banish them 
 from it by unnecessary restraints and regula- 
 tions. Welcome their friends and companions 
 — much bad association may be prevented by 
 it. Let sisters remember how much they may 
 do for their brothers by making home attract- 
 ive to them, and make the brothers feel that 
 they are the natural attendants and protectors 
 
 of their sisters. 
 
 152 
 
SOCIETY. 153 
 
 Encourage as much society as you have the 
 leisure and means to indulge in, but let the 
 going out be the exception — where amusement 
 becomes the occupation of life, it is degrading. 
 Home entertainments, I do not mean feasting, 
 but music, social intercourse, conversation and 
 dancing. These are always a pleasure, and grow 
 in attraction. 
 
 The women of a family should be always 
 appropriately dressed. A simple morning 
 dress, till a walking dress or dinner dress is to 
 be put on, is the proper dress to receive any 
 visitor, unless it is an appointed and formal re- 
 ception. There should be no slip-shod dress 
 at home ; the old expression of '' not fit to be 
 seen " should be impossible with habits of civ- 
 ilization. 
 
 Men should dress for dinner. It is a com- 
 fort and refreshment after the day's work, and 
 a proper respect to the ladies of the family, 
 
154 HOME AND SOCIETY. 
 
 who return the compliment, and the dinner is 
 a delightful reunion. 
 
 There is one custom which I deplore — that 
 of breaking up families every summer, — the 
 mother and daughters going to some watering 
 place, and the husband and sons left to pur- 
 sue their business and get on as they may. 
 If there are little children, it is often abso- 
 lutely necessary, but it is not necessary when 
 the family is grown, and one at a time the 
 women should remain in town to make home 
 attractive, and to see that the men who are la- 
 boring for them are comfortable. 
 
 The advantage of a country home for little 
 children is hardly to be estimated. So many 
 pursuits unattainable in town are the delight 
 of children — natural history, flowers, gardens, 
 out-of-door games, plays in the snow and free- 
 dom — and for the mother so much more of 
 ease ; but we must adapt ourselves to the ne- 
 
DRESS. 155 
 
 cessities of a busy and struggling world. 
 Let mothers remember that much as little 
 children require their influence their grown 
 sons, all but men, require it infinitely more. 
 
 Dress. 
 In a preceding chapter I have urged the ad- 
 vantages of tasteful dress. Too often in this, 
 the standard adopted is appropriate only to 
 persons of ample fortune ; and one has to re- 
 gret the influence upon young minds of a mis- 
 leading emulation in sumptuous display, a sort 
 of masquerading, supported, in many cases, by 
 a curtailment in matters of essential import- 
 ance. The safe rule is well expressed in the 
 familiar adage. " Seek not to seem what you 
 would be, but be what you would seem."