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Book _ A s 7 
 
THE 
 
 OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE: 
 
 OR A ^.J^L^-^ 
 
 NARRATIVE OF THE CAPTIVITY ' 
 
 OF 
 
 THOMAS ANDROS, 
 
 (now pastor of the church in BERKLEY,) 
 ON BOARD 
 
 THE OLD JERSEY PRISON SHIP 
 
 AT NEW YORK, IT 81. 
 
 IN A SERIES OF LETTERS TO A FRIEND, SUITED TO 
 
 INSPIRE FAITH AND CONFIDENCE l^N A 
 
 PARTICULAR DIVINE PROVIDENCE. 
 
 '' O may our lips and lives make known, 
 Thy goodness and thy praise." 
 
 BOSTON: ^, 
 
 PUBLISHED BY WILLIAM PEIRCE, 
 
 JVo. 9 Cornhill. 
 
 1833. 
 

 Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1833, by 
 
 William Peirce, 
 in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of Massachusetts, 
 
 Press of Wm. Peirce, 
 
 No. 9 Cornhill, — Boston. 
 
LETTER I 
 
 Introduction — His Captivity — Old Jersey — Reflections 
 first night below — His opinion of the Revolutionary 
 cause and Privateering — Fearful mortality — Burial of 
 the Dead, &c. 
 
 Virgil represents jEneas as soothing the 
 breasts of his afflicted companions with this re- 
 mark, " Perhaps the recollection of these things 
 will hereafter be delightful." But to afford 
 real pleasure, the remembrance of hardships 
 and sufferings must be connected with some 
 principles and facts, which cannot apply to 
 every child of sorrow. The daring achieve- 
 ments of which the pirate may boast, and the 
 fearful calamities he may have suffered, can 
 never be truly delightful in a serious recollec- 
 tion, but a source of the keenest anguish. On 
 this principle there is no escape from misery to 
 
4 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 such as never repent of their crimes. The re- 
 collection of their mad and impious deeds must 
 be tormeiiting as long as they remain conscious, 
 rational beings. Two things in such a recol- 
 lection, if it be a source of real comfort, must be 
 true ; a consciousness, that the cause in which 
 we suffered was just and good, and a sense, that 
 the help, by which we were sustained and our 
 deliverance effected, was the bestowment of a 
 gracious and compassionate Creator. 1 had a 
 full conviction at the time, that the Revolution- 
 ary cause was just. I was but in my seven- 
 teenth year, when the struggle commenced, and 
 no politician ; but even a school-boy could see 
 the justice of some of the principles, on the 
 ground of which, the country had recourse to 
 arms. The colonies had arrived to the age of 
 manhood. They were fully competent to gov- 
 ern themselves, and they demanded their free- 
 dom, or at least a just representation in the na- 
 tional legislature. 
 
 For a power three thousand miles distant' to 
 claim a right to make laws to bind us in all cases 
 whatever, and we have no voice in that legisla- 
 tion, this, it seemed, was a principle to which 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 5 
 
 two millions of freemen ought not tamely to 
 submit. And as all petitions and remonstrances 
 availed nothing, and as the British government, 
 instead of the charter of our liberties and rights, 
 sent her fleets and armies to enforce her ar- 
 bitrary claims, the colonies had no alternative, 
 but slavery, or war. Appealing to Almighty 
 God for the justice of their cause, they chose 
 the latter. Whether I approved the motives 
 that led me into the service, is another ques- 
 tion, which I shall presently notice. As to the 
 strength given to sustain my toils and suiFer- 
 ings, and the deliverances granted, I had a pow- 
 erful conviction that these were the gift of the 
 great fountain of all good. 
 
 In the following narrative, our highest gratifi- 
 cation, as we would hope, is to give glory to 
 that kind and merciful Providence, which alone 
 could have rescued me in the midst of so many 
 deaths. 
 
 I would speak not so much of anything I my- 
 self achieved, as what the God of love and pity 
 performed. 
 
 In the summer of 1781, the ship Hannah, a 
 very rich prize, was captured and brought into 
 *1 
 
b THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 the port of New London. But in this case it 
 was far worse than in common lottery gambling, 
 for it followed, that there were thousands of 
 fearful blanks to this one prize. It infatuated 
 great numbers of young men who flocked on 
 board our private armed ships, fancying the same 
 success would attend their adventures ; but 
 no such prize was ever after brought into 
 that port. 
 
 But New London became such a nest of pri- 
 vateers, that the English determined on its de- 
 struction, and sent an armament and laid it in 
 ashes, and took fort Grisvvold on the Groton 
 side of the river, and with savage cruelty put 
 the garrison to the sword, after they had surren- 
 dered. Another mighty blank to this prize was, 
 that our privateers so swarmed on the ocean, 
 that the British cruisers, who were everywhere 
 in pursuit of them soon filled their prisons at 
 New York to overflowing with captured Ameri- 
 can seamen. 
 
 Among these deluded and infatuated youth, 
 I was one. I entered a volunteer on board a 
 new Brig, called the Fair American, builton pur- 
 pose to prey upon the Britisli commerce. She 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. * 
 
 mounted sixteen carriage guns, and was manned 
 vviih a crew, whosenumbers exceeded what was 
 really her compliment. The quarterdeck, tops 
 and long boat were crowded wiih iiiusketry, so 
 that ill action she was a comj)lete flame of fire. 
 We had not been long at sea before we discov- 
 ered and gave chase to an English Brig, as 
 large as ours, and in appearance mounted as 
 many guns. As we approached her she saluted 
 us v/ith her stern chases, but after exchanging 
 a {e\M shots, we ran directly along side, as near 
 as we could and not get entangled in her top 
 hamper, and with one salute of all the fire we 
 could display, put her to silence. And thanks 
 be to God, no lives were lost. 
 
 I5 with. others, went on board to man the 
 prize and to take her into port. But the prize 
 master disobeyed orders. His orders were, not 
 to approach the American coast, till we had 
 reached the longitude of New Bedford, and 
 then to haul up to the northward, and with a 
 press of sail to make for that port, but he aimed 
 to make land on the back of Long Island ; the 
 consequence was, we were captured on the 27th 
 of August, by the Solebay Frigate and safely 
 
8 
 
 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 Stowed away in the Old Jersey Prison ship, at 
 New York. 
 
 This was an old sixty-four gun ship, which 
 through age had become unfit for further actual 
 service. She was stripped of every spar and 
 all her rigging. And after a battle with the 
 French fleet ; and her lion figure-head was taken 
 away to repair another ship, no appearance of 
 ornament was left, and nothing remained but an 
 old, unsightly, rotten hulk. Her dark, and filthy 
 external appearance perfectly corresponded with 
 the death and despair that reigned within, and 
 nothing could be more foreign from truth than to 
 paint her with colors flying, or any circumstance 
 or appendage to please the eye. She was moor- 
 ed about three quarters of a mile to the eastward 
 of Brooklyn ferry, near a tide-mill on the Long 
 Island shore. The nearest distance to land was 
 about twenty rods. And doubtless no other ship 
 in the British navy, ever proved the means of the 
 destruction of so many human beings. Tt is com- 
 puted that not less than eleven thousand Amer- 
 ican seamen perished in her. But after it was 
 known, that it was next to certain death to con- 
 fine a prisoner here, the inhumanity and wicked- 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 9 
 
 ness of doing it was about the same as if he had 
 been taken into the city and deliberately shot on 
 some public square. But as if mercy had fled 
 from the earth, here we were doomed to dwell. 
 And never while I was on board, did any How- 
 ard or angel of pity appear to inquire into, or 
 alleviate our woes. , Once or twice, by the or- 
 der of a stranger on the quarter deck, a bag of 
 apples were hurled promiscuously into the midst 
 of hundreds of prisoners crowded together as 
 thick as they could stand, and life and limbs 
 were endangered by the scramble. This instead 
 of compassion was a cruel sport. When I saw 
 it about to commence, I fled to the most distant 
 part of the ship. 
 
 On the commencement of the first evening, 
 we were driven down to darkness between decks 
 secured by iron gratings, and an armed soldiery. 
 And now a scene of horror, which baffles all 
 description presented itself. On every side 
 wretched, desponding shapes oi men could be 
 seen. Around the well room an armed guard 
 were forcing up the prisoners to the winches, to 
 clear the ship of water, and prevent her sinking, 
 and litde else could be heard but a roar of mu- 
 
10 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 tual execrations, reproaches and insults. Du- 
 ring this operation there was a small dim light ad- 
 mitted below, but it served to make darkness 
 more visible, and horror more terrific. In my 
 reflections I said, this must be a complete image 
 and anticipation of Hell. Milton's description 
 of the dark world rushed upon my mind : 
 
 " Sights of woe, regions of sorrow, doleful 
 Shades, where peace and rest can never dwell." 
 
 But another reflection inflicted a still deeper 
 wound. How came I here ? From what mo- 
 tives did I go in quest of British property on the 
 ocean f The cause of America I did indeed 
 approve, and as to the business of privateering, 
 considered as a national act, I did not see the 
 force of that reasoning, by which some good 
 men condemned it. 
 
 If it be right to inflict a wound, on a nation 
 with whom we are at war, it is right, thought I, 
 to strike at their commerce. Is it not the object 
 of war to bring a wicked nation to a sense of 
 justice by the infliction of pain ? Strike then 
 where they will feel most sensibly.* 
 
 * What I have here related I would not have pass for 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 11 
 
 But was it real love of country or a desire to 
 please my Maker, that prompted me to engage 
 in this service ? My conduct was indeed legal- 
 ized by my country, but what better than that of 
 a pirate was my motive f I could not stand be- 
 
 niy riper and more sober thoughts of war. I do now 
 condemn war in all its causes and forms, except that of 
 absolute self-defence. And even in this case, a people 
 ought to act by the Christian spirit and rule, to be slow 
 to anger, to be long suffering, to put up with many inju- 
 ries and insults rather than to have recourse to war. It 
 is a desperate remedy, and generally far worse than the 
 disease. And if at last, in self-defence we must strike, 
 let the blow be as mild and mixed with as much mercy as 
 possible. However falsely ambitious and wicked men 
 may reason about the doctrine of self-defence, and mis- 
 apply it, to justify war in all cases, I am not prepared to 
 surrender it. For, in this surrender, it appears to me 1 
 do necessarily give up the possibility of maintaining 
 civil government. I must believe with Saint Paul, that 
 the sword is the proper badge of the civil magistrate, and 
 even God requires he should so use it as to be a terror to 
 evil doers. Rom. 13. 
 
 To speak of civil government as itself guilty of murder 
 when the law punishes capitally the man who has shed 
 the blood of his neighbor, is, I believe, to commit the 
 crime of speaking evil of dignities, and borders more on 
 insanity, than sound Scripture or re^ison. 
 
12 THE OLD /ERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 fore this" self scrutiny. At the bar of God and 
 my own conscience I was condemned. 1 cried 
 out, *' O Lord God, thou art good, but 1 am 
 wicked. Thou hast done right in sending me 
 to this doleful prison ; it is just what I deserve." 
 I could indeed plead that sordid avarice was 
 not my sole motive, but curiosity — a love of en- 
 terprize, a wish to witness something of " the 
 pomp and circumstance of war," to gaze at what 
 kept the world awake, had an influence; but 
 this was but a slender palliation. I was so over- 
 whelmed with a sense of guilt, that I do not re- 
 collect, that I even asked for pardon, or deliver- 
 ance at this time. 
 
 When I first became an inmate of this abode 
 of suffering, despair and death, there were about 
 four hundred prisoners on board, but in a short 
 time they amounted to twelve hundred. And 
 in proportion to our numbers, the mortality in- 
 creased. 
 
 All the most deadly diseases were pressed 
 into the service of the king of terrors, but his 
 prime ministers were dysentery^ small-pox, and 
 yellow fever. There were two hospital ships 
 near to the Old Jersey, but these were soon so 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 13 
 
 crowded with the sick, that they could receive 
 no more. The consequence was, that the dis- 
 eased and the healthy were mingled together in 
 the main ship. In a short time we had two 
 hundred or more sick and dying, lodged in the 
 the fore part of the lower gun deck, where all 
 the prisoners were confined at night. Utter 
 derangement was a common symptoui of yellow 
 fever, and to increase the horrdr of the darkness 
 that shrouded us, (for we were allowed no hght 
 betwixt decks,) the voice of warning would he 
 heard, " Take heed to yourselves. There is a 
 mad man stalking through the ship with a knife 
 in his hand." I sometimes found the man a 
 corpse in the morning, by whose side I laid my- 
 self down at night. At another time he would 
 become deranged and attem.pt in darkness to rise 
 and stumble over the bodies that every where 
 covered the deck. In this case 1 had to hold 
 him in his place by main strength. In spite of 
 my efforts he would sometimes rise, and then I 
 had to close in with him, trip up his heels and 
 lay him again upon the deck. While so many 
 were sick with raging fever there was a loud 
 cry for water, but none could be had except on 
 
14 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 the upper deck, and but one allowed to ascend 
 at a time. The suffering then from the rage of 
 thirst during the night was very great. Nor 
 was it at all times safe to attempt to go up. 
 Provoked by the continual cry for leave to as- 
 cend, when there was "a (ready one on deck the 
 sentry would push them bnck with his bay- 
 onet. By one of these thrusts, which was 
 more spiteful and violent than common, I had a 
 narrow escape of my life. In the morning the 
 hatch-ways were thrown open and we were al- 
 lowed 10 ascend, all at once and remain on the 
 upper deck during the day. But the first ob- 
 ject that met our view in the morning was a most 
 appalling spectacle. A boat loaded with dead 
 bodies, conveying them to die Long-Island shore 
 where they were very slightly covered with 
 sand. I sometimes used to stand to count the 
 number of times the shovel was filled with sand 
 to cover a dead body. And certain I am that 
 a few high tides or torrents of rain must have 
 disinterred them. And had they not been re- 
 moved, I should suppose the shore, even now, 
 would be covered with huge piles of the bones 
 of American seamen. There were, probably,^ 
 
 i 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 15 
 
 four hundred on board, who had never had the 
 small pox, — some, perhaps, might have been 
 saved by inoculation. 
 
 But humanity was wanting, to try even this 
 experiment. — Let our disease be what it would, 
 we were abandoned to our fate. Now and 
 then an American physician was brought in as a 
 captive, but if he could obtain his parole he left 
 the ship, nor could we much blame him for this. 
 For his own death was next to certain, and 
 his success in saving others by medicine in 
 our situation was small. I remember only two 
 American physicians who tarried on board a 
 few days. No English Physician, or any one 
 from the city, ever, to my knowledge, came 
 near us. There were thirteen of the crew, to 
 which I belonged, but in a short time all, but 
 three or four were dead. The most healthy 
 and vigorous were first seized with the fever and 
 died in a few hours. For them there seemed 
 to be no mercy. My constitution was less 
 muscular and pletiioric, and I escaped the fever 
 longer than any of tlie thirteen, except one, and 
 the first onset was less violent. 
 
 There is one palliating circumstance as to 
 
16 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 the inhumanity of the British, which oue;ht to 
 be mentioned. Tlie prisoners were furnished 
 with buckets and brushes to cleanse the ship, 
 and with vinegar to sprinkle her inside. But 
 their indolence and despair were such that they 
 would not use them, or but rarely. And, in- 
 deed, at this time, the encouragement to do it 
 was small. For the whole ship, from her keel 
 to the tafferel, was equally affected, and con- 
 tained pestilence sufficient to desolate a world ; 
 disease and death were wrought into her very 
 timbers. At the time I left, it is to be presumed 
 a more filthy, contagious, and deadly abode for 
 human beings, never existed among a Chris- 
 tianized people. It fell but little short of the 
 Black Hole at Calcutta. Death was more lin- 
 gering, but almost equally certain. 
 
 The lower hold and the orlop deck were 
 such a terror, that no man would venture down 
 into them. Humanity would have dictated a 
 more merciful treatment to a band of pirates, 
 who had been condemned and were only 
 awaiting the gibbet, than to have sent them 
 here. Bin in the view of the English we were 
 rebels and traitors. — We had risen against the 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 17 
 
 mother country in an unjust, and wanton civil war. 
 On this ground they seemed to consider us as i 
 not'^entitled to that humanity, which might be ex- 
 pected by prisoners taken in a war with a for- 
 eign nation. Our water was good, could we 
 have had enough of it ; our bread was bad in 
 the superlative degree. I do not recollect see- 
 ing any which was not full of living vermin ; 
 but eat it, worms and all, we must, or starve. 
 The prisoners had laws and regulations among 
 themselves. In severity they were like the 
 laws of Draco, Woe to him that dared to tram- 
 ple them under foot. 
 
 A secret, prejudicial to a prisoner, revealed 
 to the guard, was death. Captain Young of 
 Boston, concealed himself in a large chest be- 
 longing to a sailor going to be exchanged, and 
 was carried on board the cartel, and we consid- 
 ered his escape as certain ; but the secret leak- 
 ed out and he was brought back, and one Spi- 
 cer of Providence being suspected as the trai 
 tor, the enraged prisoners were about to take 
 his life. His head was drawn back, and the 
 knife raised to cut his throat, but having obtain- 
 ed a hint of what was going on below, the 
 *2 
 
18 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 guard at this instant, rushed down and rescued 
 the man. Of liis guilt at the time, there was 
 to me, at least, no convincing evidence. It is a 
 pleasure now to reflect that I had no hand in 
 the outrage. 
 
 If there was any principle among the pris- 
 oners that could not be shaken, it was the love 
 of their country. I knew no one to be seduc- 
 ed into the British service. They attempted 
 to force one of our prize Bi'ig's crew in- 
 to the riavy, but he chose ratlier to die, than 
 perform any duty, and he was again restored 
 to the prison-ship. 
 
 Another rule, the violation of which would 
 expose the offender to great danger was, not to 
 touch the provisions belonging to another mess. 
 This was a common cause, and if one com- 
 plained that he was robbed, it produced an ex- 
 citement of no little terror. 
 
 Another rule was, no giant like man should 
 be allowed to tyranize over, or abuse another 
 who was no way his equal in strength. 
 
 As to religion, I do not remember of be- 
 holding any trace of it in the ship. I saw no 
 Bible, — heard no prayer, — no religious con- 
 
 ^cr ' v^». :..... *;^^ 
 
 ...A 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 19 
 
 versation, — no clergyman visited us, though no 
 set of afflicted and dying man men more need- 
 ed the light and consolHtions of religion. But 
 the Bethel-flag had not yet waved over any 
 ship. I know not that God's name was ever 
 mentioned, unless it was in profaneness or blas- 
 phemy ; but as every man had almost the cer- 
 tain prospect of death before him, no doubt 
 there were more or less, who, in their own 
 mind, like myself, had some serious thoughts of 
 then accountability, — of a future state, and of 
 a judgment to come ; but as to the main body 
 it seemed, that when they most needed religion, 
 there they treated it with the greatest contempt. 
 I wish it to be understood, that what I have 
 said of this horrid prison relates almost exclu- 
 sively to the time I was on board. Of what 
 took place before or afterward, 1 say litde. To 
 all I do relate ,the words of the Latin poet are 
 in some degree applicable. 
 
 " Which things, most worthy of pity I myself saw, 
 And of them — was a part." 
 
 Nor would 1 heap the cruel horrors of this 
 prison-ship as a reproach upon the whole nation 
 without exception. It is indeed a blot which 
 
20 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 a thousand ages cannot eradicate from the 
 name of Britain ; but no doubt, when the pious 
 and humane among them came to know what 
 had been done, they utterly reprobated such 
 cruelty. Since that time, the nation has so 
 greatly improved in Christian light, feeling and 
 humanity, tliey would not now treat even rebels 
 with such barbarity ; and it is expected that 
 this remark will be realized in their treatment 
 of all other countries, who may wish and strug- 
 gle to obtain the blessings of freedom and inde- 
 pendence. 
 
 While on board almost every thought was 
 occupied to invent some plan of escape, but 
 day after day passed, and none presented that I 
 dared to put in execution. But the time had 
 now come, when T must be delivered from the 
 ship or die. It could not be delayed even a 
 few days longer ; but no plan could I think of 
 that offered a gleam of hope. If I did escape 
 with my life, I could see no way for it but by 
 miracle. 
 
LETTER II 
 
 Death in appearance unavoidable — Escape from the ship 
 by means unexpected — Concealment in a swamp — 
 Shapes his course for the east end of the Island — 
 Village resounding with martial music — Dwelling 
 house mistaken for a barn — Sufferings during the night 
 — Escape from being re-captured by two dragoons. 
 
 In the close of my first letter it was observ- 
 ed, that if I did escape, it seemed it must be 
 by miracle. This remark was founded on the 
 following facts. 
 
 1. If I continued on board a few days, or 
 even hours longer, the prospect was certain 
 death. For I was now seized with the yellow 
 fever, and should unavoidably take the natural 
 small pox with it ; and who does not know, 
 that I could not survive the operation of both 
 of these diseases at once ? I had never expe- 
 rienced the latter disease in any way, and it 
 
22 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 was now beginning to rage on board the Old 
 Jersey, and none could be removed. The hos- 
 pital ships being already full of the sick, the 
 pox was nearly ripe in the pustules of some, 
 and I not only slept near them, but assisted in 
 nursing those who had the symptoms most vio- 
 lently. In a very short time my doom must 
 have been settled had I remained in the ship. 
 
 2. The arrival of a cartel and my being ex- 
 changed, would not help the matter, but render 
 my death the more sure. When a list of the 
 names of the prisoners was called for on board 
 the frigate, by which we were captured, I step- 
 ped up and gave in my name first, supposing, 
 that in case of an exchange, I should be the 
 sooner favored with this privilege. And the 
 fact indeed was that no exchanges took 
 place, but from the port of New London. 
 And former exchanges had left me the first on the 
 roll of captives from this port j — and I dreaded 
 nothing more than the arrival of a cartel, for 
 numbers would be put on board and sent home 
 with me from the hospital ships, whose flesh 
 was ready to fall from their bones in this dread- 
 ful disease ; and, indeed, I had no sooner made 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 23 
 
 my escape than a cartel did arrive, and such 
 dying men were actually crowded into it ; and 
 it was evidently the policy of the English to re- 
 turn for sound and healthy men, sent from our 
 prisons, such Americans as had but just the 
 breath of life in them, and were sure to die be- 
 fore they reached home. The guard were 
 wont to tell a man, while in health, " You have 
 not been here long enough, you are too well to 
 be exchanged." 
 
 3. There was yet one more conceivable 
 method of getting from the ship, and that was, 
 the next night to steal down through .. gun- 
 port, which we had managed to open when we 
 pleased, unbeknown to the guard, and swim 
 ashore. But this was a most forlorn hope ; for 
 I was under the operation of the yellow fever, 
 and but just able to walk, and when well, I 
 could never swim ten rods, and should now 
 have at least twenty to swim. Besides, when 
 in the water, there was almost a certainty I 
 should be discovered by the guard and shot, as 
 others had been. 
 
 In this situation, what wisdom or what finite 
 power could save me ? If I tarried on board 
 
24 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 I must perish ! If put on board the cartel ev- 
 ery hour expected, I must perish ! If I at- 
 tempted to swim away, I must ! If utter de- 
 spair of life had now taken hold of me, who 
 could have said there was no ground for it ? 
 But now it seems that God who had some- 
 thing more for me to do, than to perish in ihat 
 ship undertook for me. 
 
 " When helpers fail and foes invade, 
 God is our all-sufficient aid." 
 Mr. Emery, the sailing master, was just now 
 going ashore after water ; without really con- 
 sidering what I said, and without tiie least ex- 
 pectation of success, I thus addressed him, 
 " Mr. Emery, may I go on shore with you after 
 water?" My lips seemed to move almost in- 
 voluntarily, for no such thing to my knowl- 
 edge had ever been granted to such a pris- 
 oner. To my surprize and the astonish- 
 ment of all that heard him, he replied, " Yes, 
 with all my heart." I then descended immedi- 
 ately into the boat, which was in waiting for 
 him. But the prisoners came to the ship's side 
 and queried, " What is that sick man going on 
 shore for ?" And the British sailors endeavored to 
 dissuade me from it, but never was counsel so 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 25 
 
 little resisted as theirs, and to put them all to 
 
 silence I again ascended on board ; — but even 
 
 this was an interposition of a kind Providence, 
 
 for I had neglected to take my great coat, 
 
 without which I must have perished in cold 
 
 and storms. But I now put it on and waited 
 
 for the sailing master, meaning to step down 
 
 again into the boat just before him, which I didj 
 
 and turned, my face away, that 1 might not be 
 
 recognized and another attempt be made to 
 
 prevent my going. The boat was pushed off 
 
 and we were soon clear of the ship. I took 
 
 an oar and attempted to row, but an English 
 
 sailor took it from me, and very kindly said, 
 
 " Give me the oar, you are not able to use it, 
 
 you are too unwell." I resigned it and gave 
 
 up myself to the most intense thought upon my 
 
 situation. I had commenced the execution of 
 
 a plan, in which if I failed, my life was gone ; 
 
 but if I succeeded, it was possible I might live. 
 
 I looked back to the black and unsightly old 
 
 ship, as an object of the greatest horror. " Am 
 
 1 to escape, or return there and perish," was 
 
 with me the all absorbing question. I believed 
 
 in a God whose plans and purposes were eternal 
 3 
 
26 
 
 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 and immutable, and I had no doubt but that 
 with him my bounds were set and my destiny 
 unalterably fixed. Oh that I could know how 
 he intended to dispose of me, that I might 
 struggle with the hope of success, or resign 
 myself to my fate. 
 
 But this train of thought was soon terminat- 
 ed by the consideration, "that secret things be- 
 long to God ;" and that all my present concern 
 was action, or the application of the proper 
 means of escape, — and now we had ascended 
 the creek and arrived to the spring where the 
 casks were to be filled, and I proposed to the sail- 
 ors to go in quest of apples. I had before told 
 them that this was my object in coming on shore, 
 but they chose to defer it till the boat was load- 
 ed ; and as they did not exact any labor of me, 
 this was just as I would have it. I thought I 
 could do quite as well without their company 
 as with it. 
 
 The sailing master passing by me very kind- 
 ly remarked, "This fresh air will be of service 
 to you." This emboldened me to ask leave to 
 ascend the bank, a slope of about forty-five de- 
 grees and thirty feet in height, terminating in a 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 27 
 
 plain of considerable extent, and to call at an 
 house near by for some refreshment. He said 
 '' Go, but take care and not be out of the way." 
 I rej/ii d, "My state of health was such that 
 there was nothing ti> fear on that score." But 
 here, 1 confess, 1 violated a principle of honor 
 for which I could not then, nor can 1 now en- 
 tirely excuse myself. I feel a degree of con- 
 scious meanness for treating a man thus, who 
 put confidence in me, and treated me in such a 
 manner as shewed he was a gentleman of sen- 
 sibility and kindness. But the love of life was 
 my temptation ; but this principle is always too 
 great, when it tempts us to violate any principle 
 of moral rectitude and honor. And should I 
 even now learn that my escape involved him in 
 any trouble, it would be a matter of deep re- 
 gret. Not long after my arrival at home, I sent 
 him ray apology for what 1 did by a British offi- 
 cer, who was exchanged and going directly to 
 New York. 
 
 I consider him as God's chosen instrument 
 to save me, — and to him as such I owe my hfe. 
 
 When the boat returned, the inquiry was 
 made by the prisoners, (as I was afterwards in- 
 
28 
 
 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 formed,) •' Where is the sick man that went 
 with you ?" The English sailors consoled them- 
 selves ,with this reply, " Ah, he is safe enough, 
 he will never live to go a mile." They did not 
 know what the Sovereign of hfe and death could 
 enable a sick man to do. 
 
 Intent on the business of escape, I surveyed 
 the landscape all around. I discovered at 
 the distance of half a mile, what appeared to 
 be a dense swamp of young maples and other 
 bushes. On this I fixed as my hiding place ; 
 But how should I get to it, without being discov- 
 ered and apprehended before I could reach it. 
 I had reason to think the boat's crew would 
 keep an eye upon me ; and people were to be 
 seen at a distance in almost every direction. 
 But there was an orchard which extended a 
 good way toward the swamp, and while I wan- 
 dered from tree to tree in this orchard I should 
 not be suspected of any thing more than search- 
 ing after fruit. But at my first entrance into it 
 I found a soldier on sentry, and I had to find 
 out what his business was, and soon discovered 
 he had nothing to do with me, but only to 
 guard an heap of apples ; and now I gradually 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 29 
 
 worked myself off to the end of the orchard 
 next to the swamp, and looking round on every 
 side, I saw no person, from whom I might ap- 
 prehend immediate danger. 
 
 The boat's crew being yet at work under 
 the bank of the creek, and out of sight, I stepped 
 off deliberately, (for I was unable to run, and 
 had 1 been able, it would have tended to excite 
 suspicion in any one that might have seen me, 
 even at a distance,) and having forded the 
 creek once or twice, I reached the swamp in 
 safety. I soon found a place which seemed to 
 have been formed by nature on purpose for 
 concealment. . An huge log, twenty feet in 
 length, having lain there for many years, was 
 spread over on both sides, with such a dense 
 covering of green running briars as to be imper- 
 vious to the eye. Lifting up this covering at 
 orie end, I crept in close by the log, and rest- 
 ed comfortably and securely, tor I was well de- 
 fended from the north-east storm, which soon 
 commenced. 
 
 When the complete darkness of the night 
 had shut in, and while raining in torrents, I be- 
 gan to feel my way out. And though but just 
 
30 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 able to walk, and though oft thrown all along 
 into the water by my clothes getting eniangled 
 with the bushes, yet I reached the dry land, 
 and endeavored to shape my course for the 
 east end of Long Inland. In this 1 was assist- 
 ed by finding how New York bore from me by 
 the sound of ship bells, and the din of labor 
 and activity, even at that time of night. 
 
 Here let me remark, how easy it is with God 
 to cause men to do good, when they intend no 
 such thing. Without my great coat, it would 
 have been scarcely possible to have survived 
 the tempest, rain and cold of this night in the 
 month of October. But had not the prisoners 
 endeavored to prevent my going in the boat, and 
 caused me to ascend again into the ship, I 
 should have left it behind. Little did I. then 
 think what good Heaven meant to bestow on 
 me, by the trouble they then gave me. 
 
 I soon fell into a road, that seemed to lead 
 the right way, and when during the night I per- 
 ceived I was about to meet any one, my con- 
 stant plan was to retire to a small distance from 
 the path, and roll myself up as well as I could 
 to resemble a small bunch of bushes, or fern. 
 
THt; OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 31 
 
 By this expedient, I was often saved from re- 
 capture. 
 
 This road soon brought me into quite a pop- 
 ulous village, which was resounding with drums 
 and fifes, and full of soldiers, but in great mer- 
 cy to me it rained in torrents, so I passed 
 through in the midst of the street in safety. 
 Here I would remark, once for all, that I was 
 then so entirely unacquainted with the particu- 
 lar geography of Long Island, that I could not 
 name the places where the events of my nar- 
 rativive happened, nor shall I now attempt to 
 do it. By an accurate map before me, it is 
 possible I might decide what village this was, 
 but I shall let it pass without a name. — It would 
 not have been any great mark of wisdom to 
 have stopped when passing through it, and in- 
 quired of these fifers and drummers, what was 
 the name of the place. 
 
 Being sick and greatly exhausted by the ad- 
 ventures of the day and night, it now became 
 absolutely necessary to seek a place of rest, 
 and a barn to me was now the only palace in 
 which I dared to enter. I stepped up to the 
 door, of what I took to be such a building, and 
 
 ItgkM.Jnil'iiV'fi^Lii: J '. 
 
33 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 was just about to open it, when my eye was 
 arrested by a white streak on the threshhold, 
 which I found to be the light reflected from a 
 candle, and I heard human voices within. But 
 human voices were now to me the objects of 
 the greatest terror, and I fled with all the speed 
 I possessed. 
 
 Coming to another barn, I discovered an 
 high stack of hay in the yard covered with a 
 dutch cap, I ascended and sunk myself down 
 deep in the hay, supposing 1 had found a most 
 comfortable retreat. But how miserably was I 
 deceived. The weather had now cleared up, and 
 the wind blew strong and cold from the north- 
 w»st,and the hay was nothing but coarse sedge, 
 and the wind passed into it and reached me as 
 if I had no protection from it. I had not a dry 
 thread in my clothes, and my sufferings from 
 this time to about eleven o'clock the next day, 
 were great, — too great even for health, but I 
 had to encounter them under the operation of a 
 malignant fever, which would have confined me 
 to my room, if not to my bed, had I been at 
 home. 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 83 
 
 A young woman came into the yard and 
 milked a cow, just at the foot of the tower where 
 I lay concealed ; but I had no eye to pity, or 
 kind hand to alleviate my distress. This 
 brought home with all the tender charities of 
 mother, sister, and brothers to my recollection, 
 with a sensibility 1 could feel, but cannot de- 
 scribe. The day was clear and grew more 
 moderate, and the coast being clear also, 1 left 
 my cold and wretched retreat, and deliberately 
 made off for the woods, at the distance of half 
 a mile. However, before I descended I had 
 seen prisoners who had escaped from the ship, 
 re-taken and carried back. But their mistake 
 was, they would go two or more in company. 
 But 1 would have no companion, it would ex- 
 cite suspicion, and render concealment more 
 difficult, and under the kind Providence of God, 
 I chose to be my own counsellor, and to have 
 none to fall out with in the way, as to what course 
 we should pursue. 
 
 Having entered the woods, I found a small, 
 but deep dry hollow, clear of brush in the cen- 
 ter, though surrounded witli a thicket on every 
 side. Into this the sun shone with a most de- 
 
34 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 lightful warmth. Here I stripped myself naked, 
 and spread out my clothes to dry. 
 
 Being too impatient of delay, I regained the 
 road just as the sun was setting, but it came 
 near to proving fatal ; for I discovered just 
 ahead, two light dragoons coming down upon 
 me. At first it seemed, escape was impossible. 
 But thai God, who gave me a quickness of 
 thought in expedients that seemed to go quite 
 beyond myself, was present with his kind aid. 
 
 1 now happened to be near a small cottage, 
 and a corn-field adjoining the road. — I fained 
 myself to be the man of that cottage, — the 
 owner of that corn-field. And getting over the 
 fence, I went about the field deliberately pick- 
 ing up ears of corn that had fallen down, and 
 righting up the cap sheaf of a stack of stalks. 
 The dragoons came nigh, eyed me carefully, 
 though I affected to take no notice of them, and 
 passed on. They were probably in search of 
 me. 
 
 I had lost my hat overboard, when in the 
 Old Jersey, and had thenceforward to cover my 
 head with an handkerchief. I deemed it a 
 calamity at the time, but as an act of Providence 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 35 
 
 the mystery now began to be unfolded. Hav- 
 ing no hat but an handkerchief about my head, 
 helped to deceive the dragoons, and cause them 
 to think I was the cottager, who owned that 
 corn-field. 
 
 LETTER III 
 
 Subsists upon fruit — Escape from falling inta the hands 
 of a guard — Attacked by a kennel of dogs — The value 
 of a barn — The roughness and meanness of an old 
 man — The benevolence and kindness of a woman — 
 Encampment of soldiers — The day passed on a stack 
 of rye under a dutch cap — Extensive plain, falls into 
 the hands of a British light-horseman — Providential 
 escape, but soon finds himself in the midst of a party 
 of horse and foot. 
 
 To lie concealed during the day, and to 
 travel at night, was my practice, till I had got 
 
36 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 far towards the east end of the Island. For 
 several days I had not taken an}' nourishment, 
 but water and apj3les. I found late pears and 
 was pleased with their taste, but they operated 
 as an emetic, quicker than ipecac. A subacid 
 apple sat well on my siomach, and w^as very re- 
 freshing, though had I been sick at home with the 
 same disease, I should have probably been de- 
 nied this favor. Indeed, from what I expe- 
 rienced in the free use of water, ripe fruit, 
 unfermented cider found at the presses, &:c., 1 
 was led to suspect, that a great deal of the kind 
 nursing of persons in fever, was an unnecessary 
 and cruel kind of self-denial. But I supposed 
 nature would sink witiiout some other kind of ali- 
 ment. But the first attem[)t to act upon this prin- 
 ciple would have proved fatal, had it not been for 
 a kind prqvidential interference. 
 
 Late in the evening, I stepped up to an house 
 CD the road, and lifted my hand to rap, but the 
 door folded inward, and evaded my stroke, and 
 a lady appeared with a light in her hand. I 
 besought of her a draught of milk, she replied, 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 37 
 
 " that there was then a guard of soldiers in the 
 house, and they had consumed it all." The 
 business of this guard was to keep a look-out 
 towards Long Island sound, and their sentries 
 were on the opposite side of the house. Had 
 I rapped and been met by one of this guard 
 instead of the lady, what would have been the 
 result ? And by whose arrangement did the 
 incident so happen that 1 escaped ? 
 
 Pursuing my journey, I came to a place where 
 the road parted. One branch turned off through 
 a lofty grove of wood ; the other ascended a 
 gentle rise towards a house near by. I knew 
 not which to take ; but that leading towards the 
 house, best suited my general course. But 
 coming up, near the house there issued forth 
 from the out-buildings a greater kennel of dogs 
 than I had ever before seen, and assaulted me 
 with a furious yelling. I stopped short, drew 
 up my hands as for as ! could out of their reach, 
 and stood still. They snapped at me very spite- 
 fully with their jaws within a few inches of my 
 body. Aud now what should I do } To have 
 attacked them, or fled precipitately would have 
 been instant destruction. I concluded to take 
 4 
 
38 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 no notice of them, but to turn about gently and 
 take the other road, as if there was no such 
 creature in the world as a dog. — I did so, and 
 they followed me for about twenty rods, snap- 
 ping at me, and seeming to say, " You shall 
 not escape, we will have a taste of your blood." 
 And in this design, there seemed to be a perfect 
 union, from the great bow-wow, down to the 
 yelping spaniel. But at last they all ceased lo 
 roar, bid me good-night and disappeared ; and 
 I was not much grieved at the loss of their 
 company, and their music. It was a concert 
 in which all the discords in the whole staff were 
 put in requisition. 
 
 The next place where the reader will find 
 me, is a barn. And indeed, I never knew the 
 full value of such a fabrick till now. Who can 
 sufficiently eulogize its utility ; were I a poet, 
 its praises should not go unsung. In a feeling 
 personification, I would hail thee as full of mer- 
 cy to the brute creation, defending them from 
 the stormy blasts and chilling frosts of winter. 
 Nor would I stop here ; for to how many 
 wretched wandering human beings hast thou 
 been a kind retreat. Denied, even the hearth 
 
THE 0?,D JERSEY CAPTIVE. 39 
 
 of a hard-hearted avarice, and proud unfeeling 
 luxury, they had perislied in the high way, had 
 not tliy hospitable doors been open for their re- 
 ception. To tliee, as tlie nrieans of protection 
 from floods of rain and cold, l owe the preser- 
 vation of my life. 
 
 Had Iventured into the habitations of men, 
 instead of those of the horned ox, my escape 
 hjfd been impossible. Soon after escaping the 
 fury of the dogs, in this peaceful abode, I took 
 up my lodgings for the night. A man coming 
 into it in the morning, I made bold to slide 
 down from the hay loft ; and after making some 
 apology for trespassing upon his premises, I 
 asked him, if it was probable I could get some 
 refreshment in the house. He seemed to think 
 I could. I then entered the house and stated 
 my wants ; but as I did not design to be a mean, 
 dishonest beggar, first get what I wanted, and 
 then say 1 had nothing to pay, or sneak off and 
 say nothing about pay, I told the family I had 
 but three coppers with me, so that if they gave 
 me meat or drink, it must be done merely on 
 the score of charity. But the woman seemed 
 to be thinking more about providing something 
 
40 THE OLD SEtlSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 for the relief of a wretched sutferer, as I must 
 have appeared to her, than about money. But 
 the old man was troublesome with his ques- 
 tions. He said it was but a few days ago two 
 men called at his house and told a story, which 
 was found to be ail false, and at last he ob- 
 served, out right, " I believe thee also is a 
 rogue," but the woman, would now and then 
 as he pressed hard upon me, check him and 
 say, "do let him alone," she had no questions 
 to ask. All she wanted was to feed me ; and 
 had it not been for her, I know not what the 
 crabbed old man would have done with me. 
 
 And here, O woman, in gratitude to thy sex, 
 let me, with the famous Ledyard remark, that 
 while I have found man too often rough and 
 cruel, when I have been a suffering stranger, 
 or have been borne down with discouragement 
 and sorrow at home, I have seldom found thee 
 otherwise than gentle, kind and humane. .Af- 
 ter I had taken my refreshment, I said to the 
 old man, " I thank you for your kindness. 
 Here are the three coppers, all T have to carry 
 me a long journey." He did not take them but 
 said, ''You may give tliem to tiiat litde girl." 
 
 ■jA^'^l^l 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 41 
 
 She took them, but If she was illiberal and 
 mean, the old man made her so. I left the 
 house and going a short distance, a spacious 
 plain opened to view, and on it, by the tents I 
 saw, I concluded there was an encampment of 
 soldiers. 1 therefore turned aside into the field, 
 ascended a stack of rye, covered with a dutch 
 cap, and here 1 remained all the day, it being 
 very stormy ; but in the evening I looked out 
 from my hiding place, and beheld a most lovely 
 moon-shine had succeeded the storm. The 
 tents had all disappeared, and I took up my 
 journey over the plain. 
 
 Sometime in the latter part of the night, I 
 reached the East end of it, and saw before me a 
 number of buildings, though before this, I had 
 not seen any on the plain. But no sooner had 
 I come up to the first house, than I was drawn 
 into a scene of the utm.ost peril. In the midst 
 of the road there was a blacksmith's shop ; on 
 the north side there was a lane forming a right 
 angle with the road, and leading up to an house 
 about twelve rods from it. To the westward of 
 the house, about eight rods distant stood the 
 barn, and a lane leading from the house to it ; 
 
42 THE OLD JERSEY (. APTIVE. 
 
 and in the square, three sides of which were 
 formed by the road and these two lanes was 
 the garden, and in the corner of this garden 
 near to the house, 1 discovered a number of 
 bee-hives ajid I coveted some of tke honey. I 
 went first up to the house, and though the door 
 was open, I saw no light and heard no noise. 
 But I deemed it prudent, not to climb over the 
 fence, just at the door of the house to get at 
 the bees, but to take the lane down to the barn, 
 and there to get into the garden and come up 
 under the cover of the fence to the bee-house. 
 This I did not then call stealing, for I was in an 
 enemy's land and might make prize of what-, 
 ever I could lay my hand upon. But this opin- 
 ion [ now fear, will not stand the test of the day 
 of judgment. 
 
 Having just stepped into the barn-yard, and 
 not suspecting the least danger, I saw a great 
 number of horses tied all around the yard with 
 all their manes and docks cut in uniform. I 
 stood motionless for a moment, and began to 
 say to niyself " What does this mean ? Can 
 one farmer own so many horses?" But before 
 the thought was finished, and as unexpected as 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 43 
 
 a flash of lightning in a clear day, a dragoon 
 coming out of the barn with his burnished steel 
 glittering in the bright rays of the moon stepped 
 up to me and challenged, " Who comes there?" 
 I answered, " A friend." But before he could 
 say a friend to wliom, a plan of escape must 
 be formed and put in execution. It was formed 
 and succeeded. Before he could ask the se- 
 cond question, I roaied out as if I were angry, 
 " Where is ihe well, I want to get some water ?" 
 Taking me from this seemingly honest and fear- 
 less query to be one of the party, he showed 
 me the well, and I went to it deliberately, drew 
 water, and escaped out of his hands. The fact 
 was, as I soon found, this was a detachment of 
 horse and foot going out on the Island for fo- 
 rage, to be conveyed to the army at New York, 
 and doubtless he supposed me to be a person, 
 a waggoner perhaps attached to it. And here 
 again I found the great advantage of losing my 
 hat. Having an handkerchief tied about uiy 
 head, helped on the deception. 
 
 The hand of Providence was here very 
 striking in two things. The instantaneous inven- 
 tion of a plan of escape in such an unexpected 
 
44 
 
 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 emergency. And taking from me every emo- 
 tion of fear, T was naturally timid, but here I 
 knew not what fear was, but had the most perfect 
 command of myself. A Jitile hesitancy, — a 
 little faultering thiougli fear would have been fa- 
 tal. After leaving the well, I went down the 
 lane into the road near to the blacksmith's shop. 
 At this moment four of the party came out 
 from behind the opposite side of the shop in full 
 view at the distance of about three rods from me. 
 I stood motionless and said to myself, " All is 
 now lost." 
 
 But their attention was taken up with a small 
 dog, with which they were sporting. But as 
 they did not come at once and seize me in the 
 brightness of the moon-light, I began again to 
 conceive hope and edged away to the fence, 
 and rolled through between the two lower rails. 
 Soon afterward the men said, " Let us go to 
 the barn and turn in," and immediately disap- 
 peared. Their sporting with the dog, in itself 
 was a trifling circumstance, but to me it was a 
 great event. It saved my life, — to me in the 
 hour of despair it brought deliverance. 
 
 Stretched along as close as I could lie to the 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 45 
 
 lower rail of the fence, I took a little time to 
 survey my situation on all sides, and to discover, 
 if 1 could, any opening for escape. If I at- 
 tempted to save myself by going out into the 
 open field, 1 must be discovered by the sen- 
 tries and picked up by a dragoon. If I re- 
 mained where I was, it wc uld soon be day-light, 
 and I could not be mistaken for pne of the 
 party. About thirty rods ahead 1 discovered a 
 large house illuminated from the ground floor to 
 the garret. This I was sure must be the main 
 bivouac of both infantry and^ horse, and wag- 
 gons were in numbers passing on to this house. 
 At last I hit upon this plan, when another wag- 
 gon should pass I would rise and lay hold of it 
 behind, and let it carry me forward into the 
 midst of the party, and they would suppose me 
 to belong to it. The driver sitting under cover, 
 forward, would not be able to see me. — 
 When the next waggon passed I attempted to 
 get hold of it, but could not overtake it, and 
 was left alone in the midst of the road and con- 
 siderably advanced towards the house just men- 
 tioned, as the general rendezvous. And now 
 as no other mode of escape offered, I resolved 
 
46 ^HE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 to walk boldly and leisurely into, and through the 
 midst of the throng of men and horses, and . 
 waggons, and seniries, and pass a^vay if 1 could. 
 The plan succeeded, — i passed fearlessly, with 
 great deliberation, erect, and firm without any 
 shyness through the midst of them. Some 
 eyed me carefully, yet no one said " Who art 
 thou .^" And I was soon out of sight and hid 
 in a dense prim-bush fence, lest a suspicion 
 should arise that a strange man had passed, and 
 a dragoon should pursue me. 
 
 Twenty miles farther to the eastward, I nar- 
 rowly escaped falling again into the hands of 
 this same party. Had I not without any knowl- 
 edge or intention of my own, happened to take 
 another road, I should have met them in full 
 march on their return, and being in the day- 
 time, escape would have been next to impos- 
 sible. As it was, my road bought me on to the 
 ground, where the night before they had cho- 
 sen to bivouac, and I found their fires still 
 burning. 
 
 After leaving my hiding place in the prim- 
 fence, I soon found myself in a large orchard in 
 quest of fruit, I had examined nearly every 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE 47 
 
 tree and found none. But just as I was about 
 to give up the search, I lit upon a tree, where 
 the ground was covered with the fairest and the 
 richest species of Bpple I ever tasted. They 
 refreshed me as if they had been gathered from 
 paradise, having neitiier eaten nor drank any 
 thing for a considerable time. How all the other 
 fruit in the orchard should have been gathered 
 in, and the produce of this uncommonly ex- 
 cellent tree left, struck me as a kind of mys- 
 tery. It was no miracle, but it was a mercy 
 to a wretched sufferer then burning up with 
 fever and thirst. — I now sought for and took up 
 my lodgings in the birth-place of my Saviour. 
 Prosecuting my journey on a succeeding 
 evening, I happened to lie opposite to an house 
 standing a little out of the road. Before Iwas 
 aware of the danger a dragoon met me and 
 stopped so near, I could have put my hand on 
 his holsters. Now, thought I to myself, " I am 
 taken," but what a blessed thing it was I lost 
 my hat. The old dirty handkerchief about my 
 head, saved me again. From this appearance, 
 taking me to be the master of the house near 
 by, he says, " Have you any cider ?" " No 
 
48 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 sir" was my reply, ^' but we expect to make 
 next week ; call then and we shall be glad to 
 treat you." This said, we each went his own 
 way. 
 
 Commencing my journey at another lime, 
 early in the evening, 1 was accosted by a man of 
 a stern appearance and address, standing on the 
 door-step. He wished to know whence 1 came 
 and where bound. I told himl had just sailed 
 out of New York, bound lo Augustine in Flo- 
 rida, and was driven ashore by an American 
 privateer, a little to the eastward of Sandy- 
 Hook, and was making my way down to Hunt- 
 ington, where I belonged. " What," says he, 
 " You belong to an American privateer ? I 
 wonder you have not been taken up before ?" 
 By this it seems he would have apprehended 
 me had he known what I was. He was, no 
 doubt, a Long Island tory. But I replied, 
 " Sir, you mistake me, I did not say 1 belong- 
 ed or had belonged to an American privateer. 
 I meant to say I belonged lo an English vessel 
 out of New York, and had been driven ashore 
 by such a privateer. Then, without further 
 ceremony I passed on, and he did not attempt 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 49 
 
 to Stop me.* And now again I sought rest and 
 concealment, as it grew late in the evening, and 
 again I found it in a barn. But I had now by- 
 exposure contracted a violent cough, and could 
 not suppress it, though deep sunk in a hay- 
 mow. The owner coming into the barn in the 
 morning, licard me, but he offered me no dis- 
 turbance, and I hoped it would have been my 
 
 * When I had g-ot clear of (he Prison-ship and commenced 
 my journey to the East end of tire Island, one of my first con- 
 cerns was, to frame a story that might serve to prevent my be- 
 ing- seized and returned back to captivity. In this story, I 
 mixed just as much truth, and just as much falsehood, as would 
 render it probable, and deceive an enemy. And the substance 
 of it was what 1 staled to this man ; subject, however, to such 
 variations as circumstances would require. And at the time, I 
 had no reproaches of conscience for this falsehood. It was, I 
 supposed, justified by expedience or necessity. But I nov?' 
 wholly condemn this reasoning. I have no idea it can be 
 right to tell a lie to any rational being- in the universe to save 
 my life, or even my soul. I now protest against all lies, in every 
 shape, or form ; whether lies of levity, vanity, convenience, 
 interest, fear or malignity. 
 
 Lying- is entirely inconsistent with obedience or trust in 
 God, whether we run into it to avoid the greatest danger, or 
 obtain the greatest good. Peter supposed, that, to save kis 
 own life he must abjure all knowledge of Christ. But did he 
 do right ? 1 have never heard him justified. He did not jus- 
 tify himself, for when he reflected on what he had done, he 
 went out and wept bitterly. 
 
 5 
 
50 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 peaceful retreat for the whole day. But, some- 
 time after, the man who visited the barn had 
 left it, a number of children came up to it, and 
 placed their hands against the door and gave it 
 a violent shaking, crying out at the same time, 
 " Come out you run-away, you thief, you rob- 
 ber," and then retreated with grcut precipita- 
 tion. But I did not remove out of my bed, 
 hoping they might not give me another such 
 honorable salute. But it was not long before 
 they appeared again, and cried out, '* Come 
 out you old rogue, you run-away, you thief. 
 We know you are here, for Daddy heard you 
 cough." And then, retreated as before. And 
 I retreated also, fearing some older children 
 might honor me with a visit and find out in very 
 deed that I was a run-away. 
 
 After I had experienced so many narrow es- 
 capes, and had now passed, as I supposed, and as 
 proved to be the fact, beyond all further danger 
 from foraging parties, scouts, and patrol of a 
 military character ; and though the fever was still 
 upon me, yet it seemed rather to abate, than to 
 be aggravated by all the exposure, cold, storms, 
 fatigues, fears, anxieties and privations I endur- 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 51 
 
 ed, I inferred with great confidence, that it 
 was the design of AhniglMy God, that I should 
 yet again see home ; and entering a wood, 
 where no human eye could see me, I fell upon 
 my knees, and looking up to heaven, I attributed 
 to him all ray deliverances, and all the under- 
 standing, assistance and strength by which I had 
 been sustained; and besought the continuance 
 of his mercy to extricate me from all remain- 
 ing danger, and sufferings, and to complete my 
 deliverance. 1 arose, and now went forward 
 more than ever, under a sense of the Divine 
 goodness and protection. 
 
LETTER IV 
 
 Kind treatment by a woman — The woods, supposed 
 impossibility of living to pass them — The steel-heart- 
 ed lady — The contrast — Affecting circumstances of a 
 night passed in, a pious family. 
 
 I come now to a day, in which various and 
 interesting incidents occurred. I now ventur- 
 ed to travel in open day-light, and no longer 
 to ask protection from the sable honors of an 
 absent sun. Commencitig my journey early 
 in the morning, I came to a large and respect- 
 able dwelling house, and thinking it time to 
 seek something to nourish my feeble frame ; 
 for appetite I had scarcely any ; I entered it, 
 neatness, wealth and plenty seemed to reside 
 there. Among the inmates of it a decent wo- 
 man, who appeared to be the mistress of the 
 family, and a tailor, who was mounted upon a 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 53 
 
 large table and plying his occupation, were all 
 that attracted my notice. To the lady I ex- 
 pressed my wants, telling her, at the same time, 
 which was my invariable practice^ if she cotdd 
 impart to me a morsel, it must be a mere act of 
 charity, giving, and hoping to. receive nothing 
 ao^ain. For poverty was a companion of which 
 I could not rid myself. She made no objec- 
 tions, asked no questions, but promptly furnish- 
 ed me with the dish of light food, I desired. 
 Expressing my obligations to her, I rose to de- 
 part. But, going round through another room 
 she met me in the front entry, placed an hat 
 on my head, put an apple-pie in my hand, and, 
 said, "you will want this before you get through 
 the woods." I opened my mouth to give vent 
 to the grateful feelings, with which my heart 
 was filled. But she would not tarry to hear a 
 word, and instantly vanished out of my sight. 
 The mystery of her conduct, as I suppose, was 
 this ; she, her family and properly, were under 
 British government. She was, doubtless, well 
 satis'ied, that 1 was a prisoner escaping from 
 the hands of the English ; and if she granted 
 me any protection or succor, knowing me to be 
 *5 
 
54 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 such, it might cost the family the confiscation 
 of all their estate. She did not, therefore, wish 
 to ask me any questions, or hear me explain 
 who I was, within heaiing of that tailor. He 
 might turn out to he a dangerous informer. I 
 then departed, hut this mark of kindness was 
 more than I could well bear, and as I went on 
 for some rods, the tears flowed copiously. 
 What a melting power there is in human kind- 
 ness ! — The recollection of her humanity and 
 pity, revives in my breast even now, the same 
 feeling of gratitude towards her. O, how true 
 are Solomon's words, " A man that hath friends 
 must show himself friendly." 
 
 Indeed there were but two things that could 
 thus dissolve me in my greatest sufferings and 
 dangers ; and these were, an act of real kind- 
 ness and compassion from a stranger, and 
 the thoirght of the pungent grief, my misfor- 
 tunes must occasion to the kindest of moth- 
 ers. As to my father, his paternal affection 
 and care had been long sleeping in the grave. 
 
 But by and by I began to recollect and con- 
 sider what the lady meant by the woods. I 
 supposed it possible there might be a forest, 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPflVE. 55 
 
 four or five miles in length, through which I 
 must pass ; — of the real fact I had not the least 
 anticipation. But very soon I came to the 
 woods, and found a narrow road of deep loose 
 sand, leading through them. The bushes, on 
 both sides grew hard up to the waggon-ruts, 
 and there was not a step of a side walk of 
 more' solid ground, and the travelling was very 
 laborious. But 1 pressed on with what strength 
 I had, and after a few miles supposed I was 
 nearly through the wilderness, and began to 
 look ahead for cleared land and human dwell- 
 ings, but none appeared. After I had with 
 great labor and almost insupportable distress 
 travelled a distance, I deemed at least,: nine 
 miles, I m(.^t two men pressing on in a direc- 
 tion opposite to my own. They seemed to be 
 in a hurry, and anxious to know how far I had 
 come in these woods. " About nine miles, 
 said I, how far have you come in them ?" 
 They replied, " about the same distance," and 
 immediately pushed forward, asking me no 
 other question. Then said I to myself, '• Here 
 I make my grave ; farewell thoughts of home, 
 and all earthly expectations ; here I must lie 
 
56 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 down and die !'» My feet were swelled so, that 
 the tumefaction hung over the tops of my shoes 
 for three-fourths of an inch, and I was about to 
 seek out a favorable spot to lie down and rise 
 no more. But at this insiant something seemed 
 to whisper to me, " Will it not be jus^t as well 
 if you must die, to die standing up and walk- 
 ing ?" I could not say no,— and resolved to 
 walk on till I fell down dead. And this whis- 
 per has been of great service to me in after 
 life. When I have been ready to sink in dis- 
 couragement under difficulties and troubles, or 
 opposition and persecution. For I have since 
 found that the Old Jersey was not the only 
 abode of inhumanity and woe ; but the whole 
 world is but one great prison-house of guilty, 
 sorrowful, and dying men, who live in pride, 
 envy and mahce, 'Miateful and hating one 
 another." 
 
 When I say, " I have been ready to sink 
 under such trials," I have recollected these 
 woods and said, " Willit not be as well to die 
 standing up as lying down ?" And thus I have 
 taken courage and gone forward, and the result 
 has been as auspicious. For such was the good- 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 57 
 
 ness of God, that I was carried through this 
 Long Island wilderness, and a little before sun- 
 set I discovered, as it were, land at no great 
 distance. 
 
 The first house I came to at the east end of 
 these woods, I entered in quest of humanity and 
 pity. But these virtues appeared not to be at 
 home there. Every thing without and within, 
 denoted a situation happily above penury, or 
 the trials, vexations, and griefs of poverty. A 
 degree of elegance and neatness appeared. 
 In the kitchen I discovered a number of fish 
 just touched with salt and hung up and dried. 
 My feverish appetite fixed on a piece of one of 
 these fish, as a rasher that might taste well. I 
 besought the lady of the house to give me a 
 very small bit, but my request was not granted. 
 I repeated it again and again. But her denial 
 was irrevocable. Now thought I, I will try an 
 experiment, and measure the hardness of your 
 heart. So I stated to her my sickly, desUtute 
 condition, told her, she might judge by my 
 appearance, that I was overwhelmed by mis- 
 fortune, and had been very unsuccessful at sea. 
 I wished her to consider how she would be de- 
 
58 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 lighted had she a brother, or dear friend, suffer- 
 ing in a strange land, if any one should stretch 
 out to hira the hand of reHef, — minister to his 
 neces' ities, wipe away his tears, and console 
 his heart. Indeed 1 suggested every thought 
 and plea of which I was master, that could 
 move an heart not made of steel. And what 
 was it all for ? For a piece of dried, blue fish, 
 not more than two inches square ! And did 1 
 succeed ? No. All my intreaties were vain, 
 — so without murmuring, or casting on her any 
 reflection, I took my leave. 
 
 Here, O woman, thou didst for once forget 
 thyself, and forfeit thy character for humanity 
 and pity. After I was gone, I presimae thou 
 didst reflect upon thine own insensibility, and 
 reproach thyself, and 1 most cheerfully forgive 
 thee. 
 
 Passing on but a [ew rods, I entered another 
 human dwelling, and what renders the circum- 
 stance that took place, the more to be noticed 
 is, it appeared to be a tavern. I expressed 
 my wants to a lady, who I had no doubt, was 
 the mistress of the house. By the cheerful- 
 ness and good nature depicted in her counte- 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 59 
 
 nance and her first movements, I knew my 
 suit was granted, and 1 bad nothing more to 
 say, than to apprize her that I' was pennyless. 
 And if she afforded me any relief she rnnst do 
 it hoping for nothing again. Now, behold the 
 contrast! In a (ew moments she placed on 
 the table a bowl of bread and milk, the whole 
 of one of those fish roasted, that I had begged 
 for in vain at the other house, and a mug of 
 cider. And, says she, " sit down and eat." 
 But her mercy came near to cruelty, in its con- 
 sequences ; for although I was aware of the 
 danger, yet 1 indulged too freely. My fever 
 was soon enraged to violence, and I was filled 
 with alarm. 
 
 It was now growing dark and I went but a 
 short distance farther, and entered an house 
 and begged the privilege of lodging by the fire. 
 My request was granted, and I sat down in si- 
 lence, too sick and distressed , to do or say 
 any thing. But I could see and hear. There 
 was no one in the house but the man and his 
 wife. They appeared to be plain, open heart- 
 ed, honest people, who never had their ^minds 
 elated with pride, nor their taste perverted by 
 
60 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 false refinement, or that education, which just 
 unfits persons to be useful and happy in the 
 common walks of life. 
 
 They possessed good common sense, which 
 is the best kind of sense. Every thing within 
 indicated economy and neatness, order and 
 competence. But what was better than all 
 this, they appeared to be cordial iViends to each 
 other. It was indeed one of the few happy 
 matches, — nor was this all, for I soon per- 
 ceived, they were united by still higher princi- 
 ples than mere conjugal affection— it was evi- 
 dent that the fear of God -had took up its resi- 
 dence there. Before it became late in the 
 evening the man took his Bible and read a 
 chapter, and that widi a tone and air, that in- 
 duced me to think he believed it. He then 
 arose and devoutly offered up his grateful ac- 
 knowledgments and supplications to God, 
 through the Mediator. By this time I began 
 to think I had gf)t into a safe, as well as a 
 hospitable retreat. .They had before made 
 many inquiries, not impertinent and captious, 
 but such as indicated they feh tenderly, and 
 took an interest in my welfare ; but they evi- 
 
THE OLD JCtlSEY CAPTIVE. 61 
 
 dently obtained no satisfaction from my an- 
 swers, for I was too weary and distressed to 
 take painsHo form or relate any -thing like a 
 consistent story. And I was the less careful to 
 do it from my supposed safety, founded on their 
 evident fear of God, and kind feelings. But 
 they seemed as if they could not rest till they 
 had drawn from me the real truth, though they 
 gave not tlie least hint that might reproach me 
 for the want of truth and honesty. At last I 
 resolved I would treat him so no longer. I 
 would throw off the mask, rsik all consequen- 
 ces, and let them into the real secret of my 
 condition, and said, '* You have asked me many 
 questions tliis evening, and I have told you 
 nothing, but falsehoods. Now hear the truth. 
 1 am a prisoner, making my escape from the 
 Old Jersey, at New York. Of the horrors of 
 this dreadful prison you may have been inform- 
 ed. There, after many sufferings, I was brought 
 to have no prospect before me but certain death. 
 But by a remarkable and unexpected interpo- 
 sition of Providence \ got on shore, and having 
 had many hair-breadih escapes, T have reached 
 this place, and am how lodged under your hos- 
 
62 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 pitable roof. I am loaded with disease ; and 
 am in torment from the thousands of vermin 
 which are now devouring my flesh. I have 
 dear and kind friends in Connecticut, and 1 
 am now aiming to regain my native home. 
 The kindest of mothers is now probably, weep- 
 ing for me as having, ere this, perished in my 
 captivity, never more expecting to see her 
 child. Thus I have told you the real truth. I 
 have put my life in your hand. Go and inform 
 against me and I shall be taken back to the 
 Prison ship, and death will be inevitable." I 
 ceased to speak, and all was profound silence. 
 It took some time to recover themselves from 
 a flood of tears in which they were bathed. At 
 last the kind and amiable woman said, " Let 
 us go and bake his clothes." No sooner said 
 than the man seized a brand of fire and threw 
 it into the oven. The woman provided a clean 
 suit of clothes to supply the place of mine till 
 they had purified them by fire. The work 
 done, a clean bed was laid down, on which I 
 was to rest, and rest I did as in a new world ; 
 for I had got rid of a swarm of cannibals, whe 
 were without mercy eating me up alive ! — And 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 63 
 
 what think you were my views and impressions 
 in resiard to what had here passed? Never before 
 or since, have I seen a more just, practical com- 
 ment on that religion, which many profess, but 
 few properly exemplify : " I was an hungered* 
 and ye gave me meat, a stranger, and ye took 
 me in, sick and ye visited me." With wonder 
 and gratitude these words shined ,in my very 
 soul. Well might I have said, O Jesus, is this 
 the religion thou hast given to the human fami- 
 ly ? If it universally prevailed, the woes of 
 man would be relieved, and heaven would come 
 down to earth. This happy couple vvho are 
 now, in all probability, called away by their 
 gracious Redeemer, to fill a mansion in the 
 skies, and are now rejoicing before the 
 throne of Him whom they supremely loved, 
 appeared to enjoy a rich reward in the mercy 
 they had shown to a wretched stranger. It was 
 all they asked. It was all performed with such 
 cheerfulness, such tenderness, simplicity and 
 ease, as gave to Christianity by which it was 
 prompted, a beauty, which must have com- 
 pelled the infidel to admire what he affects to 
 disbelieve. 
 
64 THC OLD JDPvSEY CAPTIVE, 
 
 Jn the morning I took my leave of this dear 
 family, who had enchanted and riveted my 
 soul to them by their kindness, in esteem and 
 gratitude, which have for fifty years suffered 
 na abatement. 
 
 I learned of them a lesson of humanity, I 
 have ever remembered and ever wished to imi- 
 tate. The day was clear, and after travelling 
 a short distance, 1 threw myself down on the 
 sunny side of a stinted pitch pine, upon a bed 
 of warm sand. And what a deliverance did I 
 now' find I had experienced. My body was 
 no longer food for millions. I rested as on a 
 bed of down. 
 
LETTER V. 
 
 Arrival at Sag-Harbor — Kindness met with in a public 
 house — Story of the sloop and whaleboat — Escape to 
 New London, after being captured by an American 
 privateer near Plumb Island — Relapse of fever — Un- 
 able to travel — Reaches home at Plainfield, (Conn.) 
 by assistance — Life despaired of — Fearful views of 
 eternity — Gives up himself as lost, forever. , 
 
 Omitting the notice of intervening circum- 
 stances and events, in about a week after this 
 J. found myself at Sag-Harbor, at the east end 
 of Long Island. Nor did the kind Providence 
 of God here forsake me. Again I found hu- 
 manity and pity in a public house. I was per- 
 mitted to lie by a warm fire, (a great luxury, 
 the weather having become cold,) while two 
 others of my companions on board the same 
 
 engine of perdition to American seamen, hav- 
 *6 
 
66 
 
 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 ing made their escape, were denied this favor, 
 and had to take lodgings in the barn. While 
 lying on my bed of down, (the warm brick 
 hearth,) the door of an adjoining room where 
 our host and his lady slept, being open, I heard 
 her say, " I could not consent that the other 
 two should lodge in the house, but I pitied this 
 young man." But I could see no cause for 
 this difference of feeling in the woman, but the 
 agency of Him who hath all hearts in his hand. 
 In a few days an opportunity of crossing the 
 Sound presented. A whale boat with a com- 
 mission to make reprisals upon the enemy came 
 into the harbor. Her crew, as I supposed, were 
 a set of honest good farmers, who resided at 
 Norwich in Cohnecticut, where I was born, and 
 knew my connections. They agreed to give 
 me a passage to New London. A sloop also 
 came into the harbor with- a like commission, 
 and with a permit to bring a family from Con- 
 necticut, who belonged on the Island. This 
 boat and sloop made sail together, one bound 
 to New London, the other to Seabrook. But 
 the weather being very boisterous, the boat was 
 in danger, so we all went on board the sloop, 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 67 
 
 and the boat was made fast to her by a tow- 
 line. Bill at no great distance from Plumb 
 Island, a privateer, v\hich proved to be out of 
 Stonington, pounced upon us ; and, under the 
 suspicion of our being illicit traders, carried us 
 all into New London. And here a scene of 
 wickedness was developed, of which I could 
 not have supposed my honest friends had been 
 capable. An agent had been sent to New 
 York with golden armor, and he had obtained 
 a quantity of dry goods and brought them to 
 Sag-Harbor. Here the cruising whale boat 
 was to receive and carry them to New Lon- 
 don, where they would be libelled ; and some 
 of the crew were to come into court, and give 
 oath that they were taken from the enemy by 
 virtue of their commission. And thus a trade 
 was carried on with the enemy to an indefinite 
 extent. These goods were put on board the 
 sloop, svhen the boat was made fast to her. 
 And when the privateer appeared and we could 
 not escape from her, the captain of the sloop 
 agreed to declare the goods were his, and that 
 he had taken them as a lawful prize from the 
 enemy. And the crew of the whale boat, the 
 
68 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 purchasers and owners of the goods were to 
 swear they saw him do it. The goods being 
 condemned, the captain of the' sloop was then 
 to act like an honest rogue, and to restore them 
 to the, crew of the boat. But after the goods 
 were actually condemned and the crew of the 
 boat, the real owners had in open court sworn 
 that the goods were his by lawful capture ; the 
 captain of the sloop thought he had now a fair 
 opportunity to play upon them a profitable 
 trick ; accordingly, he refused to restore them, 
 and went off with the goods, sloop and all, to 
 Connecticut river. But the crew of the boat 
 were not willing thus to quit all claim to the 
 goods, though they had sworn they were not 
 theirs, and contrived to have the sloop with the 
 goods again seized. And I, who knew the 
 whole story, was sent for as a witness. And by 
 my testimony, and that of one of the whale 
 boat's crew, who had not testified before that, 
 the goods were captured by the captain of the 
 sloop, the real truth came -to light, and both 
 sloop and goods were condemned ; so that the 
 crew of the whale boat ultimately obtained, not 
 only their goods, but the sloop also, as an illicit 
 
THE OLD JEIISEY CAPTIVE. G9 
 
 trader. And thus the treachery of the cap- 
 tain did not prove so gainful as he intended. 
 He was taken in his own craftiness. An event 
 so common, that it is a matter of wonder that 
 all rogues do not grow sick of their villany. 
 
 In this business it was hard to tell, who were 
 the most unprincipled offenders ; who thought 
 least of the guilt of perjury, and trampling un- 
 der foot the laws of their country. Tliese 
 cruizing boats were sometimes guilty of great 
 injustice and barbarity towards the peaceful 
 and friendly inhabitants of the Isiand. 
 
 There was no small excitement at Sag-Har- 
 bor, when I first arrived there, by what had 
 just been done by one of them. They entered 
 an house, and not content with other plunder, 
 they tore from the neck of a woman just con- 
 fined, her golden necklace. How awfully true 
 are the words of Paul : " For they that will be 
 rich fall into temj)tation and a snare, and into 
 many foolish tv.id hurtful lusts, which drown 
 men in destruction and perdition. For the love 
 of money is the root of all evil." 1 Tim. vi. 
 9, 10. 
 
70 
 
 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 I had now travelled an hundred and fifty 
 miles, and was safely landed at New London. 
 And to me it was a great mercy, that we were 
 captured by the privateer out of Stonington ; 
 otherwise I should have been carried into Con- 
 necticut river, much farther from home. But 
 no sooner did I set my foot down in a land of 
 safety, than I immediately sank under the pow- 
 er of that disease which had preyed upon me 
 ever since I left the Prison ship. It will, per- 
 haps, scarcely be believed, that I could have 
 travelled so far, encountered such hardships, 
 braved the chilling storms of autumn, put up 
 in the cold retreat of barns, shivering in wet 
 clothes, drenched in rain, without medicine,* 
 nursing, or any diet commonly esteemed prop- 
 er, and yet all this time have been under the 
 operation of an inveterate and settled fever. I 
 should myself, have judged, that scarcely any 
 person could, in such a condition, have sur- 
 vived, [should have supposed his fever must 
 have come to a speedy crisis, and he must, 
 most probably, have died. But this was not 
 the case. The fever did not seem to be on the 
 whole much increased, but it stuck fast to me. 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 71 
 
 And what follows will put this matter out of 
 question. After arriving at New London I 
 could travel only about three miles ; and all my 
 strength failed, under the revived power and 
 rage of the fever. But in this, perhaps, the 
 kind hand of woman had some agency. The 
 lady at Sag-Harbor, who pressed me in her 
 pity, thought of my welfare after I 'should leave 
 her house ; and, unsolicited, gave me a meat 
 pie and a bottle of cider. Though I had not 
 much relish for the pie, yet my thirst tempted 
 me to drink of the liquid. I had before drank 
 freely at the press without injury. But here is 
 the difference : the cider in the bottle was fer- 
 mented. I think it had some hand in produc- 
 ing a relapse. 
 
 When I could go no farther, T found a man, 
 who was kind enough to carry me up to Nor- 
 wich Landing. And I tarried there with a rel- 
 ative till my friends at Plainfield were informed 
 of my arrival, and my eldest brother came with 
 a carriage to help me home. The first night I 
 lodged with a brother at Canterbury. This 
 night I deemed myself to be flying, and going 
 directly to my long home. But the next day. 
 
7^ THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 I SO revived as to reach the dwelling of my 
 mother. A most afFeciioiiaie mother, who al- 
 ways seemed willing to live or die for the good 
 of her children, and who had made up her mind 
 to submit to the will of God, and never more 
 to see her son, and a child broken down with 
 sickness and other calamities, and needing all 
 her soothing attentions, can imagine what a kind 
 of meeting it was! For a day or two it seemed 
 to me I was getting belter. J w^as unwilling to 
 be sick any longer. I now wished to live and 
 enjoy home ; and I almost resolved I would no 
 longer complain of pain or weakness. 1 would 
 get well at all events. But the will of God was 
 not so, and I perceived it was vain to strive with 
 my Maker. My resolution failed, my heart 
 sunk. I took my bed, and, as almost every 
 one supposed, to rise no more. The doctor 
 was sent for. And that every wave of sorrow 1- 
 and discouragement might break upon me and 
 sink me to the lowest depth, he said to a friend, t 
 " I could not recover, unless I was all made * 
 over new ;" and a young man of my acquaint- f 
 ance told me of it. My fever raged — I felt a .. 
 pain in my head, piercing as if a sword had 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 73 
 
 been run through it — my reason fled. For 
 about three weeks I was in a state of perfect 
 derangement, and not able to articulate a word 
 so as to be understood. I remember making 
 the attempt. My sister listened and listened, 
 but could not understand me, and I ceased from 
 the effort as in vain. But it is a great mistake 
 to suppose deranged people have no thoughts, 
 and are insensible to suffering and pain. 
 
 In my derangement 1 lost all idea of being 
 a human creature. I felt and saw myself to 
 be a very stately tree, whose trunk soon divided 
 itself into three great branches. I saw nothing 
 of the form of a man about me, and was not 
 conscious there was any such being in the uni- 
 verse. By some means, one of these great 
 branches was split down, and the pain of this 
 disaster was immense. 
 
 It may seem strange, but of all this I have 
 ever since preserved a perfect remembrance, 
 as of a thing, that had taken place in the full 
 exercise of my reason. But in the midst of 
 this periodof derangement I had a short, though 
 perfectly lucid interval. Heaven and earth, 
 time and eternity, life and death, God and re- 
 
 tej 
 
74 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 ligion, again assumed the character of moment- 
 ous realities. I now found myself, as I sup- 
 posed, just breathing my last. My spirit just 
 quitting its tenement of clay. But my views 
 and feelings now were such as to set at nought, 
 all the powers of description. I had heretofore 
 been pft awakened to a, sense of danger as a sin- 
 ner. The first instance of it, took place when I 
 was about ten years old, but I as often relapsed 
 again into sin. I had offered up to heaven innu- 
 merable prayers, and was sometimes ready 
 to think I understood and possessed religion, 
 though I could get no strong hold of the divine 
 promises, nor enjoy much comfort in the hope 
 of final salvation. 
 
 The fact was, I knew but little about myself. 
 I was very mnch a stranger to my own heart. 
 But now my whole inner man seemed to be 
 made as luminous as the most transparent glass. 
 It seemed as though nothing good or bad, could 
 lurk in any corner of it unseen ; till this mo- 
 ment I never had an idea of any such self- 
 knowledge. But as to any thing truly pure 
 Bnd holy, my soul appeared a perfect blank. 
 As to external actions, though I could have 
 
I^THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 75 
 
 made out a list of them, equal, perhaps, to some 
 other self-righteous man ; yet my mind was 
 perfectly turned away from these, as not to be 
 thought of, and fixed on the state of my heart. 
 In it I could discover no feeling, exercise or 
 emotion, on which I could* rest as genuine re- 
 pentance towards God and faith in the Lord 
 Jesus Christ. For aught I could see my re- 
 ligion went no farther than that of devils ; like 
 them I did believe, I did tremble. For 1 had 
 a deep conviction of all the awful realities of a 
 future state, as revealed in the Gospel. - But 
 it seemed now absolutely too late to ask or ex- 
 pect any mercy. I ceased to pray. I gave 
 myself up to certain damnation,. and sunk down 
 in perfect and black despair. But this I now 
 know to be a criminal unbelief. It was nothing 
 but pride and hardness of heart, that prevented 
 my coming to Christ, in what now appeared my 
 last moment. But though I supposed it to be 
 certain, that God intended to cast my soul into 
 hell, I did not feel any sensible or raging en- 
 mity rising against him. 
 
 I was so guilty, and so justly condemned, 
 that my mouth was completely stopped. And 
 
 '^^^■^^M^^k.-.i •^■..J.tUb^ 
 
76 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 dreadful as was my state of mind, I had not the 
 least confidence in any of those refuges of lies, 
 in which proud, healthy, prosperous sinners 
 can hide themselves. The hail of God's wrath 
 pouring down upon my soul, swept them away. 
 Infidelity could afford me no aid. I could no 
 more doubt the truth of what the Bible sailh of 
 the future state of the wicked, than I could 
 doubt my own existence. As to guilt, re- 
 morse, terror and despair, I was then in hell, 
 and how could I doubt its reality ? 
 
 I had in some period of my hfe tried to be 
 a Universalist, and great pains had been taken 
 by a medical friend of liberal education to 
 make me so. But in this awful crisis, this doc- 
 trine appeared to me to be folly and madness. 
 It afforded not the least gleam of hope. It had 
 not the power of a straw to ward off the light- 
 ning of heaven's wrath. For I knew the Holy 
 Ghost had said, "Without holiness no man 
 shall see the Lord." And I had a perfect con- 
 viction that I was not the subject, of even the 
 least degree of this holiness. I said to myself, 
 " In a few minutes I shall know what hell is ;" 
 and was rather impatient to be gone, and know 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 77 
 
 the worst of it. But now, as might be expect- 
 ed under this terrible and overwhelming view of 
 my situation, my reason again fled. 
 
 About ten days after this, an unexpected and 
 favorable crisis was formed in my disease, and 
 I awaked as it were out of the grave. I say, 
 unexpected, for my death was looked for as 
 certain. A joiner, who lived near at hand, af- 
 terward told me, that having seen me the even- 
 ing before, and my brother calling at his house 
 the next morning,' he did not ask him howl 
 did, having no doubt, but he had come to speak 
 for my coffin. Dr. Parish, who was then fit- 
 ting for college at the academy at Plainfield, 
 likewise told me, that he not only regretted my 
 death as certain, but the suspension of his 
 studies to attend my funeral. 
 
 When I found myself recovering, it occa- 
 sioned a kind of regret on the ground, that I 
 should have the affair of dying all to go over 
 again. But still I could not but consider my- 
 self as a brand plucked from everlasting burn- 
 ings. But it turned out in the end, that this 
 fearful view of the certain perdition of such as 
 die impenitent, did not convert my soul. I en- 
 
78 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 tered into many solemn vows, ever after, to live 
 to God; but I proved unfaithful to these vows. 
 For it is not in the nature of an unconverted 
 heart, to be steadfast and faithful in a covenant 
 with God. 
 
 There were at this time, certain evangelical 
 and important truths, of which I was not con- 
 vinced, and without which I conceive there can 
 be no sound conversion. I did not know what 
 it was to be dead in trespasses and sins. 
 Though I found my heart wa'S not right in the 
 sight of God, yet I did not know that I was 
 such a slave to sin, that there was no moral 
 power in me ever to turn from it, to the real 
 love of holiness. Hence, to change my heart 
 and lead an holy life, I secretly depended on 
 myself, and not on a divine influence. This, 
 I fear, is the great error of thousands. Hence 
 their awakenings and their conversions come 
 to nothing. This entire moral helplessness and 
 dependence on the Spirit of God, to give a 
 new heart and power to live a new life, I trust 
 I was afterwards taught by experience to un- 
 derstand. 
 
 Another circumstance of spiritual darkness 
 
THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 79 
 
 was, I did not possess a clear view of the es- 
 sential and momentous distinction between false 
 religious affections, and such as were genuine. 
 I was ready to think all sorrow for sin, all 
 kinds of repentance, all kinds of love to God 
 and Christ were real religion. But this I af- 
 terwards found to be a most dangerous er- 
 ror. Like Peter's love to Christ when he 
 would not have him go up to Jerusalem 
 and suffer; so a great deal of love to God 
 is nothing but hatred. , Some may love him so 
 well, that they cannot bear to hear his true 
 character ascribed to Him. They think it is 
 heaping dishonor upon Him, which they cannot 
 bear,— Is this true love? At last, I trust I 
 found that no love of God has any religion in 
 it but that, which primarily arises in the soul, 
 from a view of the infinite excellence and moral 
 beauty of the divine character, considered just 
 as it is, independent of all selfish considera- 
 tions. 
 
 It is a grand discovery in religion to find, 
 that the greatest and most glorious, and even 
 the very least exercise of it, consists in that 
 charity, which seeketh not its own. For the 
 
80 THE OLD JERSEY CAPTIVE. 
 
 want of this discovery how does selfishness, il- 
 liberal) ty, avarice, indifference to the honor of 
 God, and the best interests of men, prevail in 
 the character of many professors of Godliness. 
 Some time in the latter part of October, 
 1781, I arrived at home. And near the close 
 of winter I so far regained my health, through 
 the great kindness of the God of love, as to en- 
 gage in the instruction of a school, in the town 
 where I resided ; and since that period almost 
 my whole life has been devoted to the instruc- 
 tion of youth, and preaching the everlasting 
 Gospel. And whether my life has been in any 
 degree useful, or whether it would have been, 
 as to the glory of God and the good of man- 
 kind, as well that I should have made my grave 
 in the Old Jersey, will doubtless be made man- 
 ifest in the last day. Of one thing I am cer- 
 tain, that is, it becomes me to say to the God 
 of unchanging love, in review of the whole 
 history of my life, — 
 
 " Thy thoughts of love to me surmount, 
 The power of numbers to recount." 
 
 THE END. 
 
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