f>EU^S;Sii;;:^ ID7;AMiOTl" ;S^- : ^£SS!S^v~S^^ ,*tvii^iv.i.. w t Jf#ic/ 7 ■- % * iillUHlir jka^s ■~^CD Mm mm \ fc^V*M-ft ^DESfGNES BY LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. ,Si Shelf aJ.^ UNITED STATES OP AMERICA. A Happy Life BY Y MARY DAVIES STEELE 'Expectant, grateful, ant) screnelg acquiescent' DAYTON, OHIO United Brethren Publishing House 1895 yjifi^ Copyright, 1895, By Mart Davies Steele. All rights reserved. TO THE MEMORY OF Hubert W. gtals, BELOVED FATHER, WISEST TEACHER, AND CLOSEST FRIEND, THIS ESSAY IS GRATEFULLY AND AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED. A HAPPY LIFE. " Laugh if you are wise; be contented if it kills you," is the advice of both an ancient phi- losopher and a modern author. Gaiety of heart, smiling cheer- fulness, a keen sense of the ridic- ulous, combined with the abil- ity to take good-naturedly a joke on one's self, — things which do not always go together, — are priceless possessions. A woman who was as sunny- tempered as she was absent- minded and eccentric used to say she was glad her peculiar- ities afforded people so much 6 A Happy Life amusement, and that, though not witty herself, she was the occasion of wit in others. She never hesitated to make fun of herself, and was the first to call attention to her blunders. When she did or said some absurd thing, she hastened to give a droll report of it, joining heartily in the laugh which fol- lowed. She was a rich mine of humorous material to a locally- noted raconteur, always on the watch to add to his large col- lection of anecdotes. By the course she pursued she often blunted his weapons, extracting the sting from many a joke, and taking the edge off numerous good stories told at her expense. Lack of beauty of face or fig- A Happy Life ure is sometimes a cause of real misery. " Dare to be ugly" is the injunction of an old writer to homely people. Some per- sons are so ugly that they are good-looking — partly, perhaps, through originality. But these are usually the kind of homely people who face the world with a frank smile and serene temper, instead of yielding to a shrink- ing sensitiveness which pres- ently degenerates into sulky sus- picion of all about them. An e}^e twinkling with hu- mor, and an intelligent, benevo- lent, and good-natured expres- sion often render very attractive a person devoid of beauty of form, feature, or complexion. We have known deformed peo- 8 A Happy Life pie so full of faith, courage, trustfulness, and friendliness, so interested in life and sure that health and beauty are at the heart of things, that they were perfectly happy, and their dis- abilities seemed never present to their minds. This was not simply the result of the law that enables us to become used to and tolerant of almost any- thing, but the victory of a beau- tiful, strong, serene spirit over a body that did it grievous wrong. The Spectator say § that " while it is barbarous for others to rally a man for natural defects of body, it is extremely agreeable when he can himself jest and make merry at his imperfec- tions. When he can possess A Happy Life himself with such cheerfulness, women and children who are at first frighted at him will after- wards be as much pleased with him." This is stoical resigna- tion indeed. Jokes at one's own expense, under these gruesome circumstances, when deformed, twisted, and awry, for instance, like Scarron, could certainly not fail to have a bitter tang. Groans would be less painful to listen to than such sardonic merriment. Reasonable and innocent wit and humor are great sweeten- ers of social intercourse. It is doubtful whether Sidney Smith's suggestion by way of contrast that, if nothing better offered, man could have directed his io A Happy Life ways by plain reason and sup- ported his life by tasteless food, is true. It is probable rather that the human race would soon have withered away and disap- peared from the face of the earth if God had not given us "wit, and flavor, and perfume, and laughter to brighten the days of man's pilgrimage, and to ' charm his pained footsteps over the burning marl.' " As love is one of the ingredi- ents of humor, humor promotes tolerant and humane views of life. The man who has this soft- ening and lubricating gift helps to make the wheels of existence run smoother. His jests, also, like a brisk wind clearing a cloudy atmosphere, have brought A Happy Life n many a petty quarrel that was brewing to a merry end, enabling tense, excited, over-strained feel- ings to find vent in a healing peal of laughter, when just ready to relieve themselves in a burst of tears or a gust of passionate words that would have left a last- ing wound behind them. Robust health, insuring per- fection of the senses and of physical strength, causes enjoy- ment, which, though not the real thing, is a deceptive imita- tion of happiness. To people accustomed to regard the day- laborer's lot as hard and joyless it is a delightful surprise to watch a jolly company of stal- wart colored street-pavers gaily 12 A Happy Life toiling as though the work were a pleasure, through broiling July days, leveling ground and spread- ing boiling pitch — shouting, jok- ing, and laughing by the hour, frequently bursting out melodi- ously into u Yo-ho, lemonade ! " or some other lively nonsense song, keeping time with great shovelfuls of broken stone tossed from their barrows with a con- tinuous rapidity which they who never saw it would deem impos- sible to human muscles. A country walk, if we have health and strength, is a most exhilarating pleasure. If the pedestrian adds to delight in vig- orous exercise and appreciation of scenery a fondness for natural A Happy Life 13 history and botany, and goes forth equipped with opera-glass and microscope, science will dis- pla} 7 to him many wonders be- neath and in addition to the charming things seen by eyes brightened by taste and imagi- nation. What flocks of tuneful birds and nryriads of fair flow- ers he enjoys where the less instructed see only occasional songsters and infrequent blos- soms ! What rich variety, bril- liancy, and peculiarities of color, form, motion, tones, and odors reveal themselves to his careful and loving observation ! And then consider the wealth of thought, beauty, and emotion memory is indelibly impressing upon the imagination and lay- 14 A Happy Life ing up for the consolation of u vacant or pensive moods." How often does there ' ' Flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude " the recollection of a drive down the main street of a New England village on a sweet summer even- ing, with Monadnock, rosy from base to summit, like a great pink cloud low on the horizon, in full view. Then there is the mem- ory of a walk up a railroad on a crisp, sunny autumn day, the embankment on either side blue as far as the eye could see with heaven's own blue of the fringed gentian — myriads of cerulean flowers " fluttering and dancing in the breeze. " Or one recalls going in early spring through A Happy Life 15 an evergreen wood and brush- ing aside the odorous pine needles to inhale the fragrance and feast one's eyes on the pink and white flowers and dark green leaves of the trailing ar- butus — great masses of it. A later picture is a sunset after a storm on a boundless Western prairie, with neither mountain, nor tree, nor house to limit the outlook. Ruskin's " Modern Painters" was being read for the first time with youth- ful faith, curiosity, and enthusi- asm at fever heat — the artist's theories and moralizings illus- trated, if one looked up from the book, by all the sky tints and all the species of clouds, while the feet pressed delicate 1 6 A Happy Life grasses and exquisite flowers of varied hue, and the moist air, delicious with faint odors, fanned the cheek. Suddenly, two per- fect, clearly defined rainbows, with a broad band of faint blue between, spanned the heavens. As this faultless double bow faded away, the eye sank enrap- tured into the soft depths of piled-up clouds of every shape and size. A sunset of indescrib- able magnificence filled the sky, which became a surging sea of color, from the richest and deep- est to the most vivid and radiant or delicate shades, — -purple and gold and crimson and white and blue and pink and aqua marine. One of two friends who stood overwhelmed by this splendor, A Happy Life 17 could only murmur: "I never before saw so much of the sky; I never before saw the whole of one rainbow. I shall never for- get this evening.' ' And how often did that gran- deur flash upon the inward eye, followed by similar glimpses of the beauty of nature, none sweeter than the glorified child- ish recollection of another wide prairie, full of pungent, bitter- almond-scented wild plum trees loaded with snow-white blos- soms, the sun of a long, long- ago May day shining down on them from a clear blue sky. When out-of-town rambles cannot be indulged in, the next best thing is to read Thoreau. He 18 A Happy Life brings the balmy air of May and the perfume of wild crab-apple blossoms, the brilliant light and splendid bloom of summer, the glory of autumn leaves, the scent of ripe apples piled up in orchards, the purple of asters and the gold of mysterious, frost-loving witch-hazel, the in- vigorating atmosphere, the pure diamond radiance of snow and ice, and the surprising animal and plant life of mid-winter into our city room. Probably there are few kinds of felicity surpassing that flow- ing from the love of books. When the enthusiastic reader speaks with a sort of rapture of the close companionship and un- A Happy Life 19 ending friendship of books, the element of an almost human personality is so evident to him, and the contact of his mind with these other minds so genu- ine that he is not conscious of extravagance or exaggeration. He turns with ardor from the business or anxieties of life to these unfailing advisers and comforters — philosophers, wits, historians, men of action or of contemplation — and, absorbed in the record of their thoughts, feelings, and conduct, forgets for a while weariness, pain, and care, or learns to transmute them into strength, peace, and j°y- Sometimes, by means of the " consolations of letters and phi- 20 A Happy Life losophy," people who might be described as involuntary her- mits have found life tolerable, or even well worth living. The secluded, far Western ranchman, passing his days in the presence of the sublimest natural scenery, and with little association with any but the best society, — poets, essayists, scientists, and the heroes and heroines of history and biography, — will go back to the city a more cultivated man than when he plunged into the wilderness. Recluses do not always fall out of line and become warped, eccentric, and hard to live with ; dwellers in cities, like Carlyle, sometimes do. The herb happiness is a spiritual growth and, therefore, A Happy Life 21 is occasionally sprinkled over the most arid deserts. Numerous instances might be cited from history or biography of persons forced to live long in seclusion, and even in humilia- tion and suffering, though so many were their spiritual com- panions that their condition might after all best be described as social solitude with many compensations and consolations. Such persons returning to the world or appearing in it for the first time, longing for an active share in philanthrop3 r , business, literature, or society, have, to the surprise of all, found them- selves really in touch with their fellow- creatures. Though al- most like strangers from an- 22 A Happy Life other planet, to whom every- thing is new and fresh, and hu- man nature a matter of eager interest and curiosity, the en- forced leisure and turning in upon themselves, the reading, meditating, and theorizing of years on history and current events, had endowed them with a fund of practical knowledge and a power of reasoning and unprejudiced weighing of ques- tions which could be made avail- able in action. If they accom- plished anything valuable, they knew it to be the result of a gift of entering, by imagination de- veloped by the impossibility of actual contact, into things out- side their own natures and be- yond the bounds of personal A Happy Life 23 circumstances and environment. And this sympathy and compre- hension was the effect of a disci- pline of retirement, pain and disappointment, and apparent defeat. In varying degrees and different forms such has been the mental and moral history of not a few characters. Luther was for years a monk. Our Saviour worked at his carpenter's bench till he was thirty. "The man who, though his fights be all defeats, Still fights, has verily seen the begin- ning of peace." A firm faith in God and a cer- tainty of immortality, a habit of regarding our present phase of existence as the mere dawn of an 24 A Happy Life endless life, make many things endurable that would otherwise fill us with despair. As far, even, as this world is concerned, it is, after all, only hope and the love of the impossible — that is, of ideals which we strive after but can never realize — that con- stitute happiness. We rejoice in effort and the anticipation of attainment, and while our object moves as we progress, and is ever just far enough ahead to lure us on, our store of blessedness is really richer with every failure to grasp it and with each apparent disap- pointment. It is, therefore, in truth, merely imaginary and future enjoyment that we pos- sess in perfection. When we A Happy Life 25 get what we long for it never exactly answers our expecta- tions; our felicity is less than we supposed it would be. But then there is the con- solation of reflecting, as the Spectator says, that the hope of gaining a certain thing "has brightened many a year of life, enabled us to toil for its attain- ment with vigor and alacrity, to discharge with honor our part in society, — in short, has given us in reality as substantial happiness as human nature is capable of enjoying." W. H. Myers dwells on the thought that the fact may be that " man is not constructed for flawless happiness, but for moral evolu- tion. " Progress is the aim ; joy, 26 A Happy Life if it comes, is incidental and by the way. 1 ' Oh, righteous doom, that they who make Pleasure their only end, Ordering the whole life for its sake, Miss that whereto they tend. "But they who bid stern Duty lead, Content to follow, they Of Duty only taking heed, Find pleasure by the way." To many another besides the fragile Duke of Albany this passage by Myers might be applied: " His brief career was a progressive self-adjustment to the conditions of his lot, a grow- ing acceptance of duty, and not caprice or pleasure, as the guide of life. So far as he achieved this, he attained happiness, and so far as sickness and suffering helped him to achieve it, they A Happy Life 27 were the blessings of his life. The prince had learned at the gates of death a sense of the reality of the Unseen which many theologians might envy. He conld scarcely understand the difficulty of other minds in attaining to a certainty like his own." There are people of such for- titude, of such radiance of soul, that the sharpest pain and life- long invalidism cannot make them permanently sad and mis- erable. Frequent glints of light from heaven pierce their dark- est clouds. The same temper, Christly in character and origin, sometimes enables a really heart- broken man or woman, after the one loved best has been taken, to 28 A Happy Life face the duties of life bravely. Things of the soul and things of the mind are certainties to them. They have gone down into the depths of pain and bereavement till they have reached the im- mutable — the Rock of Ages. The sting of anxiety, poverty, pain, and grief is too sharp and triumphant to be charmed away by any rose-water theory of the victory of gladness over misery. The wounded heart aches and aches, and joy and peace, unat- tainable and unsought, do not descend with healing in their wings. But let us do right, though the heavens fall ! In this dire stress of soul the grim de- termination to hold fast to faith A Happy Life 29 and duty is all that remains or is possible. It is the sin that underlies or mingles with our trials — as when those, for in- stance, who are dearly loved succumb to temptation — that is their principal root of bitterness, and often makes life, as far as this world at least is concerned, a seemingly hopeless tragedy. Grief is sometimes desecrated by a tumult of strife, and greed, and misunderstanding, which renders the soul deaf to conso- lation. If evil does not undo its assigned work, grief may be, in spite of an aching void and ever- present loneliness, a holy state in which the assurance of endless continuity of life and a direct- ness of communion with the 30 A Happy Life divine source of spiritual regen- eration, not usual in less morally shut-in conditions, rout despair and motiveless self-absorption. An evil source or disposition turns the wholesome tonic of pov- erty or pain into a deadly poison. "I am sure," says Phillips Brooks, u we all know the fine, calm, sober humbleness of men who have really tried themselves against the great tasks of life. It is something that never comes into the character, never shows in the face, of a man who has never worked. ' ' The noblest peo- ple, those who have led the most beautiful, the most useful, and the happiest lives, or been suc- cessful in a material sense, have rarely been reared -in wealth, A Happy Life 31 luxur3 T , and idleness; but they have been disciplined in a sterner school of labor, self-de- nial, and, perhaps, even of want, and bare of consolation, grace, and recreation, save that derived from imaginative, intellectual, and spiritual sources. Leisure and wealth have their pure and legitimate pleasures and advan- tages of travel, tasteful dress and surroundings, collections of books and works of art, and a culture, polish, and suavity not as easily attainable in other environments, and which, as, whatever his wishes, no man can live wholly to himself, add perceptibly to the common stock of human happiness and progress. 32 A Happy Life A life of active philanthropy in organized avennes is so mor- ally satisfying that it might be defined as a happy life. Bnt how trying are the wearisome gossip and dissensions of the committee meeting, the disap- pointments in the character of both associates and beneficia- ries, the mistakes and lack of success in the most promising directions ! Guided, however, by the motto, " Patience, continu- ance, and sober enthusiasm," results follow that bless the world and fill the heart of the philanthropist with peace and serenity. The modern notion of happi- ness has probably more ele- ments of excitement than of A Happy Life 33 quiet. Its ideal would perhaps be represented by a notable housekeeper, wife, mother, phi- lanthropist, and lover of good books, dead some time since at an advanced age, who, when friends bemoaned unfulfilled pur- poses, used to assert with an air of great satisfaction that she w^as so happy as always to accom- plish, before she slept, the day's work planned in the morning; she did it if she had to sit up all night to get through ! "I hope you are taking life easy this vacation, idly enjoy- ing every moment/' a friend said one brilliant summer morn- ing to an ambitious and success- ful young woman who, when re- leased from the arduous duties 34 A Happy Life of her profession, found recrea- tion in change of occupation, and in art, study, and music. u Oh, I am catching up," was the energetic reply, in a tone that somehow suggested the tonic crispness, yet sunny warmth, of the atmosphere of ' ' Walden "and the " Excursions. " " I am doing odd jobs; busy at home and elsewhere every instant." " Oh, rest, rest; do rest," begged her friend. " Rest is a delightful word to me." u Yes, I know. It is lovely, but then there are so many nicer things," she answered. So many nicer things than rest ! That was the spirit of the age compressed into a nutshell. It is unnecessary and unwise at A Happy Life 35 present to reiterate the old prov- erb, " Better wear out than rust out/' yet for most of us the se- cret of cheerfulness lies in exer- tion. There are men and women who leave no margin for cul- ture, rest, and recreation in their scheme of life. Necessary in- dulgences of the mind and flesh are submitted to under protest. Money-making, or labor with the hands, business, housekeep- ing, or sewing can alone se- cure the approval of their con- sciences. In the Rambler may be found an amusing carica- ture of a woman of this kind — Lady Bustle, a country gentle- woman. My Lady Bustle daily 36 A Happy Life got her daughters and maids up at dawn, and worked with them from sunrise till dusk in the kitchen, pantry, still-house, and linen closet, and was perfectly happy and self-satisfied person- ally, whatever may have been the feelings of her young assist- ants. It was "the great business of her life to watch the skillet on the fire, and to see it simmer with the due degree of heat, and to snatch it off at the moment of projection; and the employ- ments to which she has bred her daughters are to turn rose- leaves in the shade, to pick out the seeds of currants with a quill, to gather fruit without bruising it, and to extract beauty A Happy Life 37 flower water for the skin." Busy all day, and tired out at night, the young ladies of the family could not do much for the entertain- ment of an intelligent city girl who was visiting them. Thrown on her own resources for amuse- ment, she tried to find a read- able book, but could discover nothing less practical than " The Lady's Chest Opened," "The Complete Servant Maid," and the " Court Cook Book." Lady Bustle took occasion to condemn her guest's literal tastes. " She soon told me," the latter writes to the Rambler, " that none of her books would suit me; for her part, she never loved to see young women give their minds to such follies, by which they 38 A Happy Life would only learn to use hard words; she bred up her daugh- ters to understand a house, and whoever should marry them, if they knew anything of good cookery, would never repent it. " The kitchen she regarded as the heart of the home. A noted woman past middle age was recalling the events of her busy life, and she said, ear- nestly and regretfully: "I long to spend the rest of my days in some quiet retreat, surrounded by relatives, books, and congen- ial friends, and devote myself to purely literary work, requiring culture, thought, and careful revision and polish, yet in a leisurely way that would afford time for domestic and social en- A Happy Life 39 joyment. I feel that I have never had an opportunity to do the best that is in me to do. I have had numerous domestic and public claims upon my purse that required me to under- take writing that would pay; my children needed so many things, and I have had constant appeals outside my home to which heart and conscience refused denial. My position put me in the way of these demands for financial aid. I have met with reverses and dis- appointments. But," she con- tinued, with an air of enjoying or of having become hardened to labor and turmoil, "we must help others, or try to. We can- not shut our eyes and fold our 40 A Happy Life hands, but must just work on to the end. I am so weary; but we are all that; we have to be." People in bereavement some- times fall into a self-indulgent state described as the luxury of grief. There is so much talk nowadays about overwork that one wonders sometimes if a cer- tain class, perhaps because the complaint that one has under- taken so much that one is always tired is considered creditable rather than the reverse, is not indulging in what might be called the luxury of fatigue, and engaging in unnecessary labor. There is a very different class, thoroughly earnest and sincere, who have little mercy on the flesh, and whose spirits seem A Happy Life 41 united by the slightest filaments to the body. If such active peo- ple tried to accept as their rule of life the motto, " Be easy/' an old essayist's secret of a happy career, how uneasy they would be ! After all, when we beg over- worked friends whose souls are severe taskmasters, not to con- sume the candle at both ends, but to spread their useful lives over a long period of calm and leisurely years instead of burning out in a flame of love and enthusiasm before middle age, are we not thinking of our own happiness rather than of theirs ? We want to keep their strength and faith and hope and joy for our own sustenance and delectation till our last day, not to see it gener- 42 A Happy Life ously lavished in one short burst of passionate self-sacrifice on humanity as a whole. But in such glowing self-for- getfulness is that settled, under- lying quiet of the mind that characterizes elect spirits. This is the secret of their cheerful serenity, still enthusiasm, and sanguine and almost seerlike hope — a faith in the future that sees and greets and embraces afar off the perfected ideal man and woman. From the very moment of the inception of a society or institution they have the comfort of seeing its history in the lines of the broadest and most satisfactory progress spread before them, no detail lacking. They are so sure of ultimate sue- A Happy Life 43 cess that their patience, good na- ture, charity, and magnanimity are boundless. They can afford to wait. There is, to quote Ad- dison, " something friendly in their behaviour that conciliates men's minds. " Their enthusi- asm is contagious. Helping hands and pecuniary assistance for their labors of love come to them just at the time of greatest stress. Quietness and repose characterize them. Their own joy is the cause of joy in others. We are reminded when with them of that sentence of the Spectator, " In the first ages of the world men shined by a noble simplicity of behaviour. M Such characters are less rare than we sometimes believe. 44 A Happy Life No enjoyment surpasses that derived from the creative exer- cise of the reasoning and imag- inative faculties. People who are absorbed in art, music, liter- ature, science, discoveries, or in- ventions, are often while at work lifted far above the depri- vations and anxieties about prac- tical affairs which usually fall to the lot of those engaged in pursuits which are not, as a rule, valued at a high rate financially. Sometimes, to be sure, when the purse and the flour barrel are empty and reputation eludes their grasp, they descend into measureless depths of gloom, but the artistic or scientific temperament enables them to spend most of their days in bliss. A Happy Life 45 The noble literary artist, Valdes, says truthfully: "It is inherent in our nature that we should wish our powers to suc- ceed, that is, show an external result; but the true artist does not cease to work if he fails to obtain it, because what he loves above all is his own activity. This is what gives the liveliest and purest delight. Therefore, the most humble artist may be as happy as the greatest." The man or woman of sup- posedly ideal aims is sometimes as world-battered and burnt out with passion, sensationalism, and feverish excitement as the devotee of fashion and amuse- ment, or the operator on the 46 A Happy Life Wall Street stock exchange. In this age of hurry-scurry and bustle and of unceasing scram- ble, not only for wealth, power, and pleasure, but we might al- most say for piety and learning ; when benevolence is often a dis- * sipation, and an author's quest for fame a species of gambling, there is something soothing to the mind wearied and unsettled by the prevailing lack of quiet and rest, in turning to descrip- tions in once popular essays and biographies of old-fashioned the- ories of happiness. The eighteenth century essay- ists loved to eulogize men who could be tranquil and happy this side of the grave in spite of all the Latin and Greek scraps A Happy Life 47 to the contrary. They extolled a voluntary and cheerful quiet and seclusion and expatiated on the delights of lettered ease, learning pursued for learning's sake, cottages in walled-in gar- dens, or strolls in shady, out-of- the-way London nooks, far from the haunts of trade and dissipa- tion. Their ideal was an equa- nimity and regularity of spirit which was a little above cheer- fulness and below mirth. " In- dolence of body and mind," the Spectator says, " when we aim at no more, is very frequently en- joyed, but the very inquiry after happiness has something rest- less in it which a man who lives in a series of temperate meals, friendly conversations, and easy 48 A Happy Life slumbers gives himself no trou- ble about. While men of refine- ment are talking of tranquillity, he possesses it." There are delicious pictures in the British classics of sweet domestic retirement, in which books, a garden, a simple though sufficient table, and the compan- ionship of husband, wife, and children, rendering all luxuries, change of scene, or additional society unnecessary, make other forms of existence seem almost worthless. There is no more exquisite description in litera- ture of plain living and high thinking than the account in the sixteenth essay of the "World" of the rector of South Green A Happy Life 49 and his honest wife, who, after a youth of literary and social prominence at the university and in London, had settled down contentedly for life in an out-of- the-way country parish. "You know," the essayist says, " with what compassion we used to think of them ; that a man who had mixed a good deal with the world, and who had always entertained hopes of mak- ing a figure in it, should foolishly and at an age when people gen- erally grow wise, throw away his affections upon a girl worth nothing ; and that she, one of the liveliest of women, as well as the finest, should refuse the most advantageous offers which were made her, and follow a poor 5