PRICE TWENTY-FIVE CENTS PLAYS FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS ONLY IS CENTS EACH p CRANFORD DAMES. 2 Scenes; 1^ hours .... 6 GERTRUDE MASON, M.D. 1 Act; 30 minutes... ? CHEERFUL COMPANION. 1 Act; 25 minutes 2 LESSON IN ELEGANCE. 1 Act; cOminutes 4 MAIDENS ALL FORLORN. 3 Acts; 1J| hours 6 MURDER WILL OUT. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 ROMANCE OF PHYLLIS. 3 Acts; 1^ hours 4 SOCIAL ASPIRATIONS. 1 Act; 45 minutes 5 OUTWITTED. 1 Act; 20 minutes 3 WHITE DOVE OF ONEIDA. 2 Acts; 45 minutes 4 SWEET FAMILY. 1 Act; 1 hour 8 BELLES OF BLACKVILLE. 1 Act; 2 hours 30 PRINCESS KIKU. (25 cents) ... 13 RAINBOW KIMON A. (25 cents.) 2 Acts; V& hours 9 MERRY OLD MAIDS. (25 cents.) Motion Song 11 PLAYS FOR MALE CHARACTERS ONLY 15 CENTS EACH M APRIL FOOLS. 1Act; 30 minutes 3 BYRD AND HURD. 1 Act; 40minutes 6 DARKEY WOOD DEALER. 1 Act; 20 minutes 3 WANTED, \ MAHATMA. 1 Act; 30 minutes... 4 HOLY TERROR. 1 Act; 30 minutes 4 MANAGER'S TRIALS. 1 Act; 1 hour 9 MEDICA. 1 Act; 35 minutes 1 NIGGER NIGHT SCHOOL. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 SLIM JIM AND THE HOODOO. 1 Act; 30 minutes 5 WANTED. A CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 SNOBSON'S STAG PARTY. 1 Act; 1 hour. 12 PICKLES AND TICKLES. 1 Act; 20 minutes 6 HARVEST STORM. 1 Act; 40 minutes 10 CASE OF HERR BAR ROOMSKT. Mock Trial; 2 hours.... 28 DARKEY BREACH OF PROMISE CASE. Mock Trial. 22 GREAT LIBEL CASE. Mock Trial; 1 Scene; 2 hours 21 RIDING THE GOAT. Burlesque Initiation; 1 Scene; 1^ hours 24 DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann Street, N Y PEGGY'S PREDICAMENT A ©tu» Art SKarte fat dStrla By ELEANOR MAUD CRANE Author of Bachelor Maids' Reunion, Billy's Bungalow, Just for Fun, I* the Ferry House, Little Savage, Lost New Year, Raps, Men Maid! and Matchmakers, Fun in the Farmhouse, Next Door, Pair of Idiots, Rainbow Kimona, Regular Flirt, When a Man's Single, Ye Village Skewl of Long Ago, etc., etc. Copyright 1915 by Eleanor Maud Crane V NEW YORK DICK & FITZGERALD 18 Ann Street ^%A { PEGGY'S PREDICAMENT. CHARACTERS. Peggy Wilson A bride Helen West Her sister Rita Mason Her chum Dorothy Warren Her cousin Mabel Mason Her chum's sister Time. — The present. Locality. — New York. Time of Representation. — Half an hour. NOTE. This sketch may be played by three girls, Rita, Dorothy and Peggy, by dividing the other lines between them, if a small cast is desired. COSTUMES. Peggy. Pretty kimona and boudoir cap. Helen. Attractive house dress. Rita, Dorothy and Mabel. Up-to-date walking-suits, gloves. INCIDENTAL PROPERTIES. Chafing-dish, bottle labeled " Alcohol," cologne bottle and telegram for Peggy. Long cloak, heavy veil, purse and coin for Rita. Raincoat, heavy veil, bonnet and umbrella for Dorothy. STAGE DIRECTIONS. As seen by a performer on the stage facing the audience, R., means right-hand; l., left-hand; c, center of stage; r. c, right of center ; l. c, left of center ; d. r., door at right ; d. l., door at left. Up, means toward rear of stage; down, toward footlights. IS^ ®_CLD 41795 SEP 22 1915 , ™ P92 -°««^o PEGGY'S PREDICAMENT. SCENE: — A kitchen in a modern New York apartment. Doors up r. and up l. Kitchen table c. Two ivooden chairs r. and l. of table. Gas-stove l. c. Garbage can with cover near stove. Dresser r. c. containing pots and pans in loiver section and dishes in upper part. Shelf with jars labelled Coffee, Tea, Salt, Rice, Spices, etc., l. c. Raisins, bottle of vanilla, box of matches, etc., on shelf. Ice-chest containing batter, eggs, milk, etc., under shelf. Coffee-pot stands upon stove. Two loaves of bread should be in the bread-box in the dresser. Cook-book, knives, forks and spoons in table-draioer. Clothes-horse hung with tea toivels and aprons up r. Dumb-ivaiter is supposedly behind the clothes-horse. A heavy bit of rope to be struck against the wall by some- one behind the clothes-horse icill make the dumb-waiter sound more real. Push-button and speaking tube may be off stage or in the wall in full sight, if preferred. Time, morning. Lights up. NOTE. If a gas-stove is not available, a small packing- box covered with black paper muslin will make an effective stove; especially when pots and pans are placed upon the top. A refrigerator can also be represented by a packing-box. A book-case placed upon a table makes a satisfactory dresser. A girl with a deep voice back of the clothes-horse represents the janitor. DISCOVERED Peggy Wilson seated l. of table, her hands over her ears, Helen West is at d. r. listening intently. There is a sound of crashing china and glass off stage. Peggy starts at each crash. A door slams off R. Helen goes up as Dorothy ENTERS d. r. Peggy (rush.ing to Dorothy). Has she gone? Helen (rushing to Dorothy's other side). Did you dis- charge her? 3 4 Peggy's Predicament. Dorothy (brushing flour from her dress). Well, some- body discharged someone and — (Smiling up into Peggy's anxious face) as most of me seems to be here, some of her — (Points off r.) must have gone. Peggy (clasping her hands). Dorothy! Just suppose you hadn't come in! I don't know what I should have done. Helen. She frightened me out of my wits ! Dorothy. Nonsense! You shouldn't let a little thing like that disturb you. (Takes oft her coat and gloves) Peggy (seating herself). Little thing! She was a giant. Helen (back of table, leaning forward). How did you ever get rid of her? Peggy. What did you say? Dorothy (shrugging her shoulders). Nothing. Peggy (in surprise). Nothing? Then what did you do? Dorothy. I pointed to the door and glared at her. Straight in the eyes like this. (Leaning forward and glaring at Peggy) It's the way they tame wild beasts you know. Peggy (admiringly). Dorothy! How perfectly splendid! Helen. How many wild beasts have you tamed, dear? Dorothy (with dignity). I tamed this one, all right. Helen. And she went without a word? Dorothy. Well, not exactly. When she had exhausted the encyclopedia and the dictionary, she fell back upon a charming vocabulary of her own. Peggy (lowering her voice and drawing her chair up to Dorothy). Do you know, Dorothy, I hate to say it, but I believe she had a drop too much. Dorothy (laughing). My dear Peggy, she had several quarts too much. Helen (looking toward d. r.). And you really think she was drunk? Peggy (with a shiver). How terrible! Dorothy. Well, she may not have been drunk, but your husband's best brandy was drunk. That I know. Peggy ( sighing ) . Poor Frank ! What on earth will he say? Helen (shaking her head). She was such a good cook, too. Dorothy. I should consider her a pretty bad one. Peggy (on the verge of tears). And he was going to bring his mother home to lunch. And I have never seen her. And I wanted everything to go off so nicely. And now — now she will know I can't cook. And Frank will be so ashamed of me. Peggy's Predicament. 5 And — and there will be no lunch — And — and — and — (Bursts into tears) Dorothy (catching up her coat). Lunch? All this fuss about lunch? You just watch your Uncle Dudley! Helen (her hand consolingly on Peggy's shoulder). Oh, Dorothy, can you? Can you really? Dorothy (pulling on her gloves). Can I? Well, I guess. Peggy (drying her eyes). But did you ever cook lunch before? Dorothy (going toward d. r.). My dear Peggy, you don't cook lunch, you get it. I shall proceed to get it. ENTER Rita and Mabel Mason, d. r. Rita. Are you girls deaf? I pushed that button until it pushed in. Peggy (hugging Rita). Rita Mason. How perfectly splen- did. Helen (shaking both of Mabel's hands). Mabel Mason, where on earth did you come from? I didn't know you were in town. Rita (looking at Dorothy's coat and hat, after shaking hands with her). Are you coming or going? Dorothy (laughing). Both. I happened to be passing this way and thought I'd stop in and see how smooth the bridal path was. Peggy (slipping her arm around Dorothy). She saved my life. She was just in time to save me from the clutches of a crazy cook. Dorothy. And now she's going to take the crazy cook's place. Peggy (to Rita). Frank's mother is coming to lunch, you see. Helen (to Rita). You don't look as if you grasped the importance of that fact. Dorothy (to Mabel). Do you realize what it means to have Frank's mother coming to lunch? Mabel (shaking her head). Not exactly. Dorothy. I suspected as much. Frank is hubby. Helen (indicating Peggy). Her brand, new hubby. Dorothy. And he has a ma. A most wonderful ma. (Rolls her eyes) The kind-that-mother-used-to-make-ma. And she is coming here — here to lunch. The cook has gone the way of all cooks and the friend and companion of our childhood is, in 6 Peggy's Predicament. the words of the immortal Shakespeare, " Up against it n (Drops her tragic tone) Get me? Rita (looking from one to the other, mystified). Yes, but why all this fuss? Can't you get lunch? Peggy (eagerly). That's just what she's about to do. Dorothy (staining toward d. b.). I'm on my way to the delicatessen-shop now. Rita. Horrors! Do you mean to say that with all these things. (With a icave of her arm about the kitchen) Three able-bodied, strong-minded females couldn't fix up something for lunch? (To Peggy) Have you forgotten the happy hours spent in cooking-school when we made pop-overs that wouldn't pop, and fritters that wouldn't frit? Peggy (shaking her head). I have forgotten. Mabel. So have I. I don't remember a blessed thing. Doeothy (her hand to her brow theatrically). Wait. I do remember. Way back in my brain there lingers a faint recol- lection of something I once cooked that laid like a weight upon my heart for a week. (Places her hand at her waist) Helen (laughing). That's not your heart, Dorothy. That's your tum-tum. Rita. You need not visit the delicatessen-shop, Dorothy, and Peggy you need have no fear. J shall cook the lunch. (Removes her wraps and takes apron from clothes-horse) Now, what will you have? Mabel (removing her wraps. All the girls put on aprons). Puree of chestnuts. Helen. Grilled mushrooms on toast. Dorothy. Two entrees, a roast and a sherbert. Peggy (in alarm). Oh, no, please, Rita, let's have something easy, like — like — eggs. Mabel, Dorothy and Helen. Eggs? Rita (relieved). Eggs? Oh, of course, if you prefer eggs, eggs you shall have. Shall it be an omelette? Peggy (clapping her hands). Just the thing. An omelette. Rita. Fine. Where are the eggs? Peggy. Help me look for them, girls. (Girls look in all sorts of possible and impossible places) Mabel (lookmg into bread-box). Isn't this the darlingest little kitchen? Helen. So different from that great, big, old-fashioned thing at home. (Looks in table drawer) Peggy. It's just perfect. I know I shall love my little flat. Peggy's Predicament. 7 Rita (turning back her cuffs). It's a beauty. Almost makes me wish I were not a suffragette. Peggy. Do you think Frank will be very angry about cook's going? Dorothy. He'll never know the difference. Rita. Of course not. We'll fix up a fine lunch and — (Shak- ing her finger at Peggy) Don't you breathe a word until after it's over. Peggy (taking dish from ice-box and bringing it to table). And you'll teach me how to do it, won't you? How surprised Frank's mother will be then. Rita. Won't it be fun? (Catches Helen, Dobothy, Mabel and Peggy by the hands and the girls dance in a ring about the kitchen table while Rita sings) " Oh, you get the hatchet, and I'll get the saw ; And we'll cut off the head of our mother-in-law." Peggy (pulling away from the group of laughing girls). Rita, what a perfectly horrid song! (Whistle bloivs loud and long. All start) Helen. Shades of Caesar! What's that? Dobothy (looking about puzzled). It sounded like a whis- tle. Peggy. It went off like that last night and Bridget said she'd answer it. Helen (her hands over her ears as the whistle blows again). Hadn't you better answer it, Peggy? Peggy (shaking her head). I don't know how. Mabel. What did Bridget do last night? Peggy. I haven't the faintest idea. (Rope is heard flapping against the wall off) I know. It's the dumb-waiter. (Goes behind clothes-horse and calls) What is it? Voice (from behind clothes-horse) Garbage. Peggy (re-appearing, indignantly). Did you hear what he called me? (Points toward dumb-ivaiter) Helen. He? Who? Rita. Who dared call you anything? Peggy (still pointing off). The man down there. Voice (from behind clothes-horse, impatiently). Garbage. Garbage. I can't be waitin' here all day. Dobothy. I know. That's his Royal Highness, the Janitob. He's the Grand Pan Jam before whom we all kow-tow. You give him whatever he wants whether you have it or not. Are there any garbage-cans in this — er — garage? 8 Peggy's Predicament. Peggy (looking about). I think so. Helen (spying can by stove). What's this? Peggy (as Rita lifts can). Oh, Rita, let me! That's heavy. Mabel (admiringly as Rita carries can toward dumb-waiter). Rita, how lovely and strong you are! Rita (calling off). Hi, there, how do I get it down? Voice (off). Sind it down! Sind it down! Air yez after a-thinkin' I'm coomin' up fer it? Rita (re-appearing, anxiously). Hadn't I better attach a rope or something to lower it by? Voice (off). Come on! Come on there! I ain't a-waitin' here all day. Sind it down or ye kin impty it yersilf. Rita (off). On your own head be it then. Now — (She lets the can fall. The lid should be loose s'o it can rattle and so make more noise. There is a crash, a shout, and a scream off) Peggy (as Rita re-appears dusting her hands). Rita ! What have you done? Rita (trying to speak calmly). I think I killed him. Ugly little beast! Mabel (her hands over her ears). What an unearthly scream Dorothy (nervously, looking over her shoulder). Do — do you really think he's dead, Rita? Rita (calmly). I hope so. (Turning to table) Now for the luncheon. (To Peggy) Did you find the eggs? Peggy (taking eggs from bowl). Yes. Will a dozen be enough? Dorothy (as the girls gather about the table). They spread out when they're opened. Helen. I should say they did. I never saw such a mess as one egg can make. Rita. We can start with a dozen, anyway. Dorothy (taking up eggs and examining them gingerly). How are you going to get the shells off? Peggy (pulling out table drawer). Wonder what Bridget did with the nut-cracker. Mabel. A hammer will do nicely. Helen. Nonsense. I never heard of such ignorance. You should make a hole in each end and blow. My brother always did with birds' eggs. Mabel. My dear child, these are not birds' eggs. Helen. If a rooster isn't a bird I'd like to know what it is. Rita. That's all right, girls. I can manage. Now ladies and gentlemen — stand back a little, Peggy, she might splash — Peggy's Predicament. 9 I'll give you a lesson in the noble art of cooking or how to find a way to a man's heart. (Opens several eggs with a flourish and lets them drop into a bowl which Peggy gives her) Dorothy. Look out. You put a bit of shell in that time. Mabel (anxiously). Shouldn't you separate them? Rita (with contempt). Separate your grandmother. This isn't a Reno omelette. Here, you beat them, Peggy, while I find something to stuff them with. Peggy (hitting the eggs gingerly with the fork Rita gives her). I didn't know you had to beat them. I thought an omelette was just eggs, Rita (going toward shelf). That's where you're way off. An omelette's whatever you have in the larder. (Takes jars and boxes one by one from the ice-chest and shelf and gives them to Dorothy, ivho places them upon the table, watched with interest by Mabel and Helen tvho are seated r, and l. of table) Here's — here's butter and milk and — oh — fine — raisins. Helen (as Rita pours raisins into bowl). I never heard of raisins in an omelette. Peggy (shaking her head). Neither did I. Never. Rita (in patronizing tone). My dear child, there are lots of things in this world that you never heard of. Your artistic soul lives in a world of its own and it is not surprising that such trifles as food and drink should escape your notice. You girls are from the country and are not used to city methods. The science of cooking has progressed considerably since you went to school. Dorothy (nudging Helen and nodding saucily at Rita). May we venture to ask where you acquired your extensive in- formation. I thought you had always boarded. Helen. Like the rest of us miserable mortals. Rita. I confess that most of my cooking heretofore has been done at a typewriter, but you see I am a suffragette and a suffragette is equal to any emergency. If a poor ignorant servant girl can get a decent meal I guess a sensible college graduate can. You just have to use your common sense. Simplest thing in the world. Girls (applauding heartily). Hear! Hear! Rita (laughing). Don't you like raisins? Peggy (doubtfully). Yes, but — Rita (sifting in raisins with a liberal hand). Then it's all right. We'll have plenty. (Takes down more jars) And l , here's rice and — fine — maccaroni. (Gives jars to Dorothy, 10 Peggy's Predicament. who places them upon the table) Let me see, what else? Helen (looking up at shelf and then at Rita questioningly). Salt? Rita (taking down jar marked "Salt 11 ). Oh, yes, salt. Wonder how much I should put in? (Looks at Mabel, who shakes her head) Mabel (with a sigh). I haven't the faintest idea. Peggy (who has found a cook-book in the table-drawer and has been flopping over the leaves ) . A pinch. This book says a pinch. Wait, Rita. (Looking up from her book as Rita puts in a tremendous pmch from the jar) That isn't salt. Rita (looking at label of jar). It's the salt-box. Peggy (taking box from her and gingerly tastmg contents). Yes, I know, but it's sugar. I forgot to buy a sugar dish. Dorothy. That's all right. Frank has a sweet tooth and he probably inherited it from his ma. Helen (looking into bowl). Doesn't that look delicious. Rita (returning to shelf). Now for the vanilla. Peggy (taking bottle from Rita). Rita, you mustn't. Va- nilla's for cake. I know that much. Rita (holding out her hand). This omelette's going to take the cake. It's got to have flavoring, Peg, honest Injun! (Ah Peggy reluctantly gives her the bottle she empties its contents into the bowl and exclaims with satisfaction) There! Now, have you a gridiron or something I can stew it on? Peggy (holding up sauce-pan). Will this do? Rita (taking it from, her). Splendidly! Dorothy (folding her arms upon the table and watching Rita pour the contents of the bowl into the pan). Shouldn't you grease it first? Mabel (from the other side of the table). What's the use? The lard only melts and mixes in. Rita. That's where you use your common sense. Most cooks are wasteful and extravagant. There ! That looks pretty good to me! (Looks about with satisfaction) What's next on the program? Helen. Why not give her coffee? The test of a good cook is coffee. Peggy (taking doivn tea- jar). Hadn't we better try tea? It's heaps easier. Rita. And let her think you're afraid? Not on your life. Coffee it shall be. Coffee! Coffee! Who's got the coffee? Peggy ( taking jar marked " Coffee " from shelf and remov- ing the lid to look wonderingly at the contents ) . It smells like coffee but it doesn't look like coffee. Peggy's Predicament. 11 Dorothy (taking jar from Peggy and shaking it). If it smells like coffee and makes a noise like coffee then it is coffee. Helen (taking tin from Dorothy and looking at contents). I thought so. It's bean coffee. They always used it home. Peggy. If it's been coffee, why isn't it coffee nowf Rita (taking jar from Helen). Not been, Peggy, bean, B-E-A-N. It's just as good as the ground. Mabel. It's better. I detest grounds. Rita (measuring coffee into pot ivith a cup that she takes from the dresser). You'll drink a cup. Mother-in-law will drink a cup and Frank will drink two. (Looks up puzzled) Wonder whether I should take hot water or cold? Peggy and Mabel. Hot. Dorothy and Helen. Cold. Peggy. I'm sure it should be hot. Dorothy. I'm positive it should be cold. Rita (taking a quarter from her purse). We'll toss up for it. Heads — hot. Tails — cold. (Tosses coin. Girls crowd around her) Cold water it is. Where's the ice-pitcher? Peggy (her hand protestingly on the pitcher). But the water doesn't have to be freezing, Rita. Rita (firmly). That's all you know about it. A good cook has hot things piping hot and cold things freezing cold. No half way business about it. (Fills coffee-pot from ice-pitcher and looks up with satisfaction) Now, what have we? Helen. Omelette ! Mabel. Coffee ! Dorothy. Biscuits ! Peggy. I'm afraid there are no biscuits, Rita. Will bread do? Rita. Oh, I think we might try biscuits. I'm not afraid. Peggy (looking at her watch). I'm sure we shan't have time. Besides there is plenty of bread and it will only get stale. (Takes two loaves from bread-box to table) Rita. All right. You cut it, Dorothy. Dorothy (taking knife from drawer and cutting bread). Let's have sandwiches. Helen. Let's. I can make dandy sandwiches. The last time I made some Frank ate six. Peggy (laughing). And wanted sixty. Cut it thicker, Dorothy. Men hate bread cut thin. Rita. Now, where's the kerosene? Peggy (aghast). Rita! What on earth are you going to do with kerosene? 12 Peggy's Predicament. Rita. Start the fire. Cook always did back home. I've seen her lots of times. Peggy (going to stove). But this is a gas-range. Rita (examining stove). How do you work it? (Dorothy cuts up loth loaves of bread absently. Mabel butters a slice, spreads sugar upon it and munches it contentedly. Helen watches Rita) Peggy. I don't know. I suppose you turn on the gas first. (Turns cock) Rita. Have you any matches? Peggy. There are some in a box on the shelf. Will you get them, Helen? Helen (taking box of matches to Rita). What a funny smell ! Peggy. It never smelled like that before. Dorothy. You'll explode something if you are not careful. Mabel (spreading another slice of bread with butter). Bet- ter ask the janitor how to start it. Rita (catching Dorothy's arm as she starts toward door). Not on your life ! That janitor's got a grudge against me. Peggy. I have it. The chafing-dish! (Rushes off d. l.) Rita (coming forward). Just the thing! Helen. Peggy is so clever! Mabel. So resourceful! RE-ENTER Peggy, d. l., carrying chafing-dish and a bottle marked "Alcohol." Dorothy (to Peggy). Hope your late lamented treasure left you some alcohol. (Shakes bottle) Not a drop. Peggy. What are we going to do? Rita. Have you any cologne? That burns like lightning. (Peggy rushes off d. l.) Helen (while Peggy is off). Won't it smell like a house- afire? Rita. Can't be helped. This is a case of first aid to the injured. RE-ENTER Peggy, d. l., with cologne bottle. Peggy (holding up bottle). Will this be enough? Rita (pouring cologne into chafing-dish stove). It will have to be. (Lights lamp under chafing-dish) Peggy (as Rita takes up sauce-pan). If you cook the eggs Peggy's Predicament. 13 first, Rita, won't they get cold while the coffee is — er — cough- ing? Rita (puzzled, looking at pan). But if we cook the coffee first it will get cold while the eggs boil. Dorothy. I have it. How you girls would get along with- out me I can't imagine. Cook the things turn and turn about. You hold the coffee-pot for five minutes, Rita, and then let Peg have a whack at the eggs. Then the coffee, then the eggs. You first, Peggy. Peggy. No, Rita, she's company. Rita (holding sauce-pan over chafing-dish while Peggy waits patiently, coffee-pot in hand). I think this is jolly good fun! Don't get a girl at all, Peggy. Dot and I will help you out. Helen. And Mabel and I will take a hand when you get tired. Dorothy. And we'll get dinner together just like this. Peggy (doubtfully). Hadn't we better go out to dinner, just at first, until we've had a little more practice? Mabel. Time's up, Rita, it's Peggy's turn now. Rita (removing sauce-pan so Peggy can put the coffee-pot over the flame). Just think how much money you'll save every month. Helen (bending over sauce-pan held by Rita). Ought they to smell like that? Rita. Of course. Eggs always smell when they're cooking. Dorothy. Shows they are genuine. None of your cheap imitations. Rita (as Helen catches up fork). No, don't stir them, Helen, just shake the pan. (Gives pan to Helen and catches up her coat) Now, Dorothy, you set the table while I run around to the florist. This luncheon is going to be done brown. Don't let the things burn, Peggy. Remember, first the coffee then the eggs. Mabel, you time them. I'll be back in a min- ute. [EXIT Dorothy, d. l. and EXIT Rita, d. r. Peggy (giving Mabel the coffee-pot to hold). Take this, Mabel. I saw something in that cook-book. If I can find it we'll surprise Rita. She shan't have all the honors. (Flops over pages of cook-book) Mabel. What was it? Peggy (reading half aloud, half to herself). Lobster-a-la- Newburg — um-um. Helen. That's too hard. Peggy. Oyster croquettes. Ice-cream— 14 Peggy's Predicament. Mabel. That's easy. Mother used to make it by the gallon. (Whistle blows) Peggy. Who can that be? Helen. That janitor! (Dumb-waiter rope is heard flap- ping) Voice (off stage, calling). Ice. Peggy (running to dumb-waiter and calling). Ice? Yes. That is if you're sure it's fresh. Very well. You can bring me, oh, about a pound and a half, and if it proves satisfactory you can leave the same amount to-morrow. What? No less than ten pounds? Oh, but that's nonsense! Frank and I can never eat ten pounds. (With dignity) No, if you can't fill my order, I'll get someone else to serve me. (Comes forward) The idea. He needn't think he can bully me. Mabel. You are perfectly right. Give them an inch and they ride straight over you. (Whistle blows again. Rope flaps) Helen. Shall I go? Peggy. Will you, dear? Helen (calling down dumb-waiter). The butcher? Just a minute. It's the butcher, Peggy. Do you want any meat? Peggy (going to dumb-waiter). Yes. Let me there. (Calls) Good-morning. What? Yes. You can bring me some chops. What kind? Oh, the ones with paper ruffles. Pink paper, please. Frank is so fond of pink. About — let me see — I should think ten pounds would be enough. Yes, charge them to my husband. Yes, that will be all for to-day. Oh, wait a min- ute. Will you stop at the potato store when you bring the meat and get me six potatoes? No, not six pounds. Six po- tatoes. Guess you'd better bring four. I'm afraid they won't keep. That's all, thank you. (Comes forward. There is a ring at the bell. She starts) My stars, who can that be? Go to the door, will you, Helen, and if any one wants to see me, tell them I'm out, engaged, dead, anything you choose, only don't let them in. (EXIT Helen d. r.) You don't suppose Frank's mother could have made a mistake in the time, do you? Mabel. I hope not. ENTER Rita, d. r., disguised by a long coat and a heavy veil. Rita (advancing to Peggy, who backs away). Is this Mrs. Wilson? Mrs. Frank Wilson? Peggy (Hoisting her apron desperately). Plaze, mum, I'm the new cook. "Peggy's Predicament. 15 Rita (sternly, in disguised voice). Cook, eh, and what can you cook? Peggy (gulping). Nothing. That is, everything. Rita. Indeed. Can you — er — stew bread? Peggy (quickly). No, ma'am. That is, yes — yes, ma'am. I — I mean I — I can if I try. Rita. You don't seem any too sure. Can you — er — fry soup? Peggy (eagerly). Not — not yet, but I'm learning. Rita (taking up jar marked "rice"). And rice. Can you roast rice? Peggy (timidly). Do you roast rice? I thought you boiled it. Rita. Do you — you dare question my culinary ability? Peggy (frightened). Oh, no, no indeed. Not at all. I shouldn't think of doing such a thing. Rita. I shall remove my wraps and wait for the return of my son's wife. Peggy (eagerly trying to lead her toward d. l.) Yes, you will wait in the library. Rita (standing rigidly). No, I shall wait here, to see that my son's meals are properly prepared. And further, miss, I shall report you to your mistress for leaving the front door open. My son might have been murdered in his sleep if I hadn't happened in to save him. Peggy (looking off nervously) . I — I didn't know the front door was left open. Rita. It was your business to know. But for me he might have been murdered. MURDERED. Mabel (timidly). But he couldn't have been murdered. He — he isn't here. Rita (frowning severely upon Mabel). That makes no dif- ference. So you will kindly not interfere. If he had been here he might have been murdered. It's all the same. (To Peggy) Now look sharp, and don't fritter. I shall return in a few minutes. [EXIT Rita, d. r. Peggy (sinking down by table in despair). Don't fritter. Don't fritter. Oh, Frank, you never told me she was like this. I shall die, I know I shall. Mabel (her arm consolingly around Peggy). She's a per- fectly horrid old woman ! Don't you care, Peggy. Don't you mind a word she said. Peggy (sobbing). She — she will find me out and then what shall I do? Oh, Frank, Frank, if you would only come. 16 "Peggy's Predicament. ENTER Dorothy, d. l. Disguised as a little old lady, she wears a long ram-coat, a bonnet, a heavy veil and leans upon an umbrella. She speaks in a high, thin voice. Dorothy (going to Peggy and patting her shoulder). My dear child, tears? At this hour of the day? Come, come, come, this will never do ! Peggy (starting up, wiping her eyes and looking at old lady in surprise). I — I — beg your pardon, but — but — who are you? How did you come here? Dorothy. Don't you know? Can't you guess? (As Peggy shakes her head) Whom is your mistress expecting? Peggy ( starting ) . What ? Dorothy (nodding). That's right. You've guessed it. Peggy ( looking at Mabel, who taps her forehead significantly as if to signify that the woman is crazy). But I don't under- stand. There's some mistake. You can't be. She — she's — ENTER Rita, d. r., followed by Helen. Rita (briskly). Now, my girl, I'm ready — (Catches sight of Dorothy and recognizes her) Dorothy, you wretch! Dorothy (lifting her veil and laughing). Rita, you villain! (There is a ring at the door bell) Dorothy. I'll go! Rita. No, I shall! Peggy. No, thank you. I'll go myself. [EXIT Peggy, d. r. Rita (to Mabel). You don't suppose she's angry, do you? Mabel. It was a mighty shabby trick! Helen. It certainly was. Rita. Dorothy, I'm ashamed of you. The idea of your pre- "tending to be Frank's mother. Dorothy (laughing) . Well, I like that. You did it first. Rita. But I fooled her, completely. Mabel. But you didn't fool me. Rita. Oh, yes, I did. (To Dorothy) Where did you get your costume? Dorothy. My rain-coat and a veil from Peggy's room over my old hat. And yours? Rita. Found it on the hall-rack as I went out. I couldn't resist it. ENTER Peggy, d. r., waving a telegram, her eyes shining. "Peggy's Predicament. 17 Peggy. Girls, girls, she isn't coming until next week. Rita (catching up sauce-pan). Fine! We'll throw this truck into the garbage-pail and go out to lunch. Peggy. Yes, and we'll buy a sensible cook-book on our way home and learn to cook. Rita (waving the sauce-pan). Then bury the hatchet, the hammer, and saw, She's nothing to fear from her mother-in-law. (Each of the girls catches up a kitchen utensil, holds it aloft with her right hand and, ivith her left on the shoulder of the girl in front of her, marches about the room toward Exit. All hum wedding -march. Rita leads followed by Dorothy, Mabel, Helen and, last of all Peggy. Curtain falls upon march or tableau if preferred) CURTAIN. A BUNCH OF ROSES A Burlesque Musical Entertainment, By W. D. Felti* price, 15 cents Cast of Characters Mrs. Ph BREAKING HIS BONDS. 4Acts;2hours 6 3 gS BUTTERNUT'S BRIDE. 3 Acts; 2^ hoars 11 6 i COLLEGE CHUMS. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 9 3 || COUNT OF NO ACCOUNT. 3 Acts; 2^ hours.; 9 4 || DEACON. 5 Acts; 2^hours... 8 6 1 DELEGATES FROM DENVER. 2 Acts; 45 minutes 3 10 ® DOCTOR BY COURTESY. 3Acts;2hours 6 5 1 . EASTSIDERS, The. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 8 4 1 ESCAPED FROM THE LAW. 5 Acts; 2 hours 7 4 \ GIRL FROM PORTO RICO. 3 Acts; 2J4 hours 5 3 I GYPSY QUEEN. 4 Acts; 2^ hours 5 3 § IN THE ABSENCE OF SUSAN. 3 Acts; 1^ hours 4 6 1 JAILBIRD. 5 Acts; 2^ hours 6 3 |> JOSIAH'S COURTSHIP. 4 Acts; 2 hours 7 4 $ MY LADY DARRELL. 4 Acts; 2^ hours 9 6 j| MY UNCLE FROM INDIA. 4 Acts; 2^ hours 13 4 & NEXT DOOR. 3 Acts; 2 hours. 5 4 <| PHYLLIS'S INHERITANCE. 3 Acts; 2hours 6 9 1 REGULAR FLIRT. 3Acts;2hours 4 4 >| ROGUE'S LUCK. 3 Acts; 2 hours 5 3 A SQUIRE'S STRATAGEM. 5 Acts ; 2^ hours... 6 4 & STEEL KING. 4 Acts; 2^ hours 5 3 |> WHAT'S NEXT? 3 Acts; 2^ hours 7 4 j| WHITE LIE. 4Acts; 2^hours 4 3 || WESTERN PLAYS I 25 CENTS EACH \ ROCKY FORD. 4 Acts; 2 hours 8 3 j| GOLDEN GULCH. 3 Acts; 2J4 hours..... 11 3 P RED ROSETTE. 3Acts; 2hours 6 3 !| MISS MOSHER OF COLORADO. 4 Acts; 2^ hours .... 5 3 || STUBBORN MOTOR CAR. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 7 4 $ CRAWFORD'S CLAIM. (15 cents.) 3 Acts; 2}4 hours. 9 3 |? DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann Street, N. Y. &