DADDYDO-FUNNYS WISDOM JINGLES RUTH M9ENERY STUART Class TS ^jAQ- Book l3L1 V ■^ K A- -"■''^ir™ ^''''*™ ' '""''" ^ ™*^'" ** ' ' ' ™™ DADDY DO'FUNNY'S WISDOM JINGLES BY RUTH McENERY STUART ILLUSTRATED BY G. H. CLEMENTS NEW YORK THE CENTURY CO. 1913 .J! 3 Copyright, 1910, 1911, 1912, 1913, by The Century Co. Published^ October, igrj 0-^ :'CI,A35 7 35 8 To the Memory of those faithful brown slave- men of the plantations throughout the South, Daddy's contemporaries all, who during the war while their masters were away fight- ing in a cause opposed to their emancipation, brought their blankets and slept outside their mistresses' doors, thus keeping night'Watch over otherwise unprotected women and chil- dren — a faithful guardianship of which the annals of those troublous times record no instance of betrayal. FOREWORD In presenting a loyal and venerable ex-slave as an artless ex- ponent of freedom, freedom of conduct as well as of speech, the author of this trivial volume is perhaps not composing an individual so truly as individualizing a composite, if the expression will pass. The grizzled brown dispenser of homely admonitions is a figure not unfamiliar to those who have "moved in plantation circles" in the cotton and sugar country, and touched hands with the kindly dark survivors of the old regime. If the man. Daddy Do-funny, was unique as an individual, per- haps in the very fact of an individuality unembarrassed by the limitations of convention, of education and of precedent, he becomes in a sense typical of his people and of his time. Of course, a man is not called Do-funny for nothing, not even playfully and in the free vernacular of rusticity at its freest. One of a small community of superannuated pensioners upon the bounty of their former owners. Daddy was easily first citizen of Evergreen annex on Crepe Myrtle plantation, which is to say he was therein a personage of place and of privilege, coming and going at W\\l doing as he pleased, and as, with uplifted eye, he reverently boasted, "sponsible to nobody but Almighty Cord for manners and behavior." Even so late as this year of grace, a full half century after "emancipation," there are still to be found on many of the larger plantations in the far South a few such members of the order of the Rocking-chair, whose records of "good and honorable service" reach back through periods of bondage, even such kindergartners as septuagenarians in the privileged class, having clear title to nearly a quarter of a century of slave memories; not to mention the occasional centenarian with even his semi-occasional uncle or father poking around, toothless and white-plumed dignitaries, these, sometimes with leaders, being blind, but ever important in pride of association and memory. it is something even if one is bent double and may never again behold the light of day, to be able to reach back into a dim and forgotten past and to say, " 1 remember," especially when the memory recalls days of brilliance and of importance. But Daddy's place among the gentle Knights and Ladies of the Rocking-chair was far and away above such as these whose thoughts, alert though they were and loyal, travelled forever backward to the sweet but worn fields of memory where every pleasure is a recog'- nition and fashions do not change — a restful retreat for dreamers whose days of activity are done. But Daddy's mind worked forward and upward and although he did not know the alphabet excepting by rote, a common ante- bellum plantation accomplishment, and while professing high con- tempt for what he called "cold shelf-knowledge," his reputation for wisdom, wisdom as gleaned in observation and experience and "ripened by insight," was supreme, while his way of casually tossing it off in bits in playful epigram finally gave the word its plural form so that the expression "Do-Funny Wisdoms" came into familiar use. As an example of his rambling talk, much of which seems at least semivagarious on transcription, I recall one of his meandering dissertations on the value of experience as superior to observation. Several of the old people, his neighbors, had joined the listening children who surrounded him under the fig-tree, and perhaps he unconsciously deferred to them in his accent of their common pos- session in length of days, akhough he gave no sign of heed to any audience, when he said : " Dey's mighty few facts de same behind an' befo', not to say inside an' outside, and a man can go roun' an' roun' de blackberry bush an' not git nowhar. 'Spe'unce is a thorny bramble, an' yer 'bleeged to go th'ough it, to draw blood, an', 1 tell yer, de blood is de life!" Akhough this tribute brought grunts of approval from the gray heads. Daddy was soon off at a tangent in playful fancy, hitting off a foible or "celebrating truth and justice" in one of the unconscious epigrams which it is sought herein to preserve, even when having occsisionally to hammer them into shape, for, while Daddy was almost unerring in rhyme, his rhythm, never at fault in delivery, was strictly a temperamental matter, not adequately renderable in cold print. But more than as philosopher, satirist or seer was the old man distinguished as a social factor on the place. Wherever his chair was set, there were the children gathered together, both black and white, eager listeners to his quaint pictorial recitals, even seeming to cherish the "\A/isdoms ' which fell from his tongue, as is not a common way with children, who seem instinctively to spurn the obviously didactic. But Daddy's moralizing, besides its saving grace of imagery, v^as generally sequential and convincing ; while his repartee, to use a word which seems almost a misfit in this rural setting, had a vv^ay of hitting the mark and striking fire, as when, in reply to the question from a forth-putting youngster on one occasion, " Where do you keep all your wisdoms. Daddy?" he snapped: 'in my ole toof holes, dat's whar! Wisdoms don't ripen good tel yo' toofs is ready to drap out. Ev'rybody knows dat Gord A'mighty ain't nuver is set but one live Wisdom-toof in a man's mouf — an' dat comes late an' goes early." And then he added with a mischievous smile : "You-all smarty undergrowth, you ain't chawed life yit. You Jes 'speramintin' wid yo' milk-toofs. "Now's yo' havin' time, chillen, but to have an' to lose, dat's life! "Study wisdom now an' minch on it good wid yo yo'ng baby toofs an' hoi' fas' to it, so's it'll meller down ripe, time de caverns opens for it. "But look out ! 1 knows a lot o' ole vacant wisdom caves for rent behin' dis crepe myrtle hedge — so, 1 say, watch and pray! Pray for insight an' outsight ! An' even so, dey's some wisdoms so fine you can't see em tel you nearin' Home an' livin' on de far side o' life! ' Daddy lived alone in a tiny vine-clad cabin and there were times when he seemed frail and to need care, and the doctor said he was rheumatic. This, however, he denied, declining compan- ionship while he insisted that the sharp pains which occasionally twisted his brow were only growing pains which he was glad to endure as not having got his growth in his first childhood, he was " 'bleeged to wrastle wid it in de second," and, "of course," he added, " it comes harder when a man's bones is set." On days when his pains were bad, he would propel himself around in a roller^chair, which he called his chariot ; and although evidently suffering, he was never heard to complain. Once, when he seemed almost helpless, some one asked him how he had got into the chair, and was quickly silenced by his ready answer, "Gord lifted me in 1" Now, to Daddy clothes were clothes. In dress as in manners, he knew no obligation of precedent ; and as to fashion, the word made him chuckle. NA/hen his pains were unusually severe and it was difficult for him to get into his own garments, he did not hesitate to clothe him- self in one of the flowing wrappers which his old wife, Judy, long since dead, had worn. And thus it happened that while on some days an aged man might have been seen hobbling about, working among his plants, on others there appeared to be an old woman propelling herself around in a rolling chair ; and seeing her, his neighbors, with perhaps a chuckle, would remark, " 1 see Daddy Do-funny is laid up ag'in 1 " Another peculiar habit of the old man was the way in which he took his bath — a dangerous process, one would think, for a rheumatic, but harmless, no doubt, to growing pains. Seeing the rain coming, he would exclaim: '"Gord sendeth de rain! He's offerin' me a bath — just or unjust!" Then donning his "bath- slip," an old wool wrapper of Judy's and getting into his roller- chair, he would wheel out and sit calmly in the shower, often closing his eyes and lifting his face as he exclaimed: "Bless Gord for de sweet drops! Bless Gord for de rain! " and when he had had bath enough, he would either put up his umbrella or roll his chair indoors as he felt inclined. But perhaps we cannot get nearer the soul of the old man than by recalling a conversation which occurred during an invasion of the children, a conversation between him and his guests which is thrown into a sort of rhyme for easy memorizing, passing from one speaker to another without more than the natural pause for reply. Obviously, the children began it : " or Daddy Do-funny, How do you come on? " " Po'ly, thank Cord, honey. Poly dis morn. My of spine it's sort o' stiff. An' my arms dey 'fuze to lif, An' de miz'ry 's in my breas', An' 1 got some heart-distress. An' de growin pains dey lingers. In my knee-j'ints an' my fingers, But I'm well, praise Gord, dis mornin'.' " OY Daddy Do-funny, What cuyus talk I How is you well, when you Can't even walk ? " " Hush, you foolish chillen, hush I What's dat singin' in de brush? Ain't dat yonder blue de sky? Feel de cool breeze passin' by I Dis of painful back an' knee, Laws-a-mussy, dey ain't me! I'm well, praise Qord, dis morin ! " RUTH McENERY STUART. Daddy's Weather Prayer The Old Rooster The Butterfly . The Wren The Watermelon The Gourd Judge Owl The Mosquito Confession The Game' Cock The Epicure . The Mule The Grubworm Rain or Shine Little Green Tree' Toad Sparrows The Fly The Little Chicken ■ Page 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 The Scare' Crow The YelloNA/ Rose The Ambitious Cow Tried by Fire Jack C Lantern The Flea Will o the Wisp The Mole The Runt The Monkey . The Aristocrat The Crawfish The Angleworm The Chimney' Swallow Catching Doodle- Bugs The Porcupine Ants The Parrot The Rattle- Snake The Persimmon in Harness The Canary • Answering Back Dat's De Way My Lady' The Mammy Alligator The New Rich Do The Wibbly Wabbly Calf The Turkey- Gobbler The Cauliflower • The Step' Mother The Frog The Rat The Mocking' Bird The Mushroom The Measuring Worm The Top- Knot Hen Too Familiar The 'Possum The Owl The Chameleon The Caterpillar Dr. Drake The Peacock The Alligator The Terrapin The Dandelion The Cud The Mirror . Goslings The Pet The Guinea' Hen The Moon . Page 48 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 The Hen- Roost Man A Guilty Conscience The Bat Incubator Chickens The Firefly • The Thistle . The Gray Squirrel Look Out for Mister Bee The Rose The Locomotive • The Goat The Fig The Frizzled Chicken The Endless Song The Eel The Rain'Crow . The GiraflSe The Black Sheep The Prize' Winner The Dog Page 75 n 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 90 91 92 93 94 95 DADDY DO^FUNNY'S WISDOM JINGLES ^^ Ef de hoa'se o\' rooster VA^ouldn't crow so loud He mought pass for young in de barn'yard crowd; But he strives so hard an' he steps so spry Dat de pullets all winks whilst he marches by. An' he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — An' he ain't by 'isself in dat. ^«- /^r//A V^*^' THE WKEN She's a citizen-bird. Sis little brown Wren, She nests in de spring an' de fall again; "Race suicide" talk nuver fazes her, 'Ca'ze she's good for 'er ten little wrens a year. An' she ain't by 'erself, my ladies, in dat- No, she ain't by 'erself in dat. THE WATERMELON Oh, Watermilion sho' is good to eat ! But de darkie rates it twice't mo' sweet, 'Ca'ze it's ap' to b'long to de yether man. An' it's mighty hard to lif by sleight o' han'. An' it ain't by itself, made sweet like dat— No, it ain't by itself like dat. >"X/// THE GOURD De green gou'd on de sunny shed Was mighty proud of his pethy head. So he nuver pondered or studied or trained. An' now he's ol' an' rattle-brained. An' he ain't by 'isselF in dat, in dat — An' he ain't by 'isself in dat. THE MOSQUITO Wid so much Christian blood in 'is veins. You'd think Brer 'Skitty would take some pains To love 'is neighbor an' show good will. But he's p'izenin' an' back-bitin' still. An' he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — No, he ain't by 'isself in dat. CONFESSION Dat whale wha' gulped Br'er Jonah down Was bleeged to swim closC't to de groun' Ontel he riz up an' confessed He'd swallered mo' 'n he could digest. But you ain't by yo'self, Br'er Whale, in dat- No, you ain't by yo'self in dat. THE GAME-COCK Dey's some things square an' some things round. An' little game cocks ain't sol' by de pound ; Dey's weighed by sand an' pluck an' grit An' de number o' dead dey leave in de pit. An' dey ain't by deyselves in rank like dat- No, dey ain't by deyselves in dat. 12 THE EPICURE Ef you keep yo' eyes on Br'er Carrion Crow, You'll wonder hussome he kin carry on so! He flies in high circles an' chooses meat Dat no honest workin'-man would eat. An' he ain't no new high-flyer in dat — No, he ain't by 'sself in dat. 13 ^V;:^ 4/ w/ll THE MULE Ef you quiz Br'er Mule, you'll find dat he Gits mixed on de subjec' of 'is fam'ly tree; He'll brag about 'is mammy with a noble neigh, An' deny 'is own daddy wid a ginuine bray. But he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — But he ain't by 'isself in dat. \ii i4'4M 14 THE GRUBWORM Br'er Grubworm wrops 'isself in twine An' swings in 'is shroud on a evergreen vine, Becaze it's mortal death dat brings His on'iest chance to git 'is wings. But you ain't by yo'self, Br'er Worm, in dat- Oh, you ain't by yo'self in dat. 15 RAIN OR SHINE? or Mingo, on 'is knees, he say: 'Lord, teach dis nigger how to pray, Else riconcile two kinds o weather For craps an' rheumatiz together!" But you ain't by yo'self, old man, in dat- Oh, you ain't by yo'self in dat. 16 17 .^^ ^ 18 THE FLY Wid dem suctious foots, seem lak Br'er Fly Mought draw down health ef he trod de sky ; But he's so onpartic'lar whar he roams Dat he's got 'isself screened out o' quality homes. An' he ain't by 'isself outcas' like dat — No, he ain't by 'isself in dat. 19 THE LITTLE CHICKEN Little yaller fluff' ball, one day out, Steps mighty high while he picks all about; Never sees de egg' shell layin* in 'is track. Much less the little piece stickin' on 'is back. But he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — But he ain't by 'isself in dat. 20 THE SCAREXROW Br'er ScarC'Crow's built to suit 'is job Wid flappin' legs an' arms dat bob ; He ain't got brains for discontent So he works widout no argument. An' he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat- No, he ain't by 'isself in dat. 21 THE YELLOW ROSE Dey's a sweet plantation, yaller-bufF rose Dat in my ricollection grows; In my ole dreams she seems to wait Whar she stood an' bloomed by de love- vine gate An I ain't by myself in dreams like dat — No, I ain't by myself in dat. 22 THE AMBITIOUS COW Sis' Twis''horn Brindle is a bothersome cow. She's boun' to raise a ruction an' she don't keer how; She craves to be de bell-cow an' lead off wid a clang. So it's all a man kin do to make 'er gallup wid de gang. An' she ain't by 'erself in dat, in dat — An' she ain't by 'erself in dat. 23 De sugar-cane stands so proud an' smart, You'd nuver suspicion it sweet at de heart. But to prove its sv^eets it yields its will To be tried by fire an' ground in de mill. An' it ain't by itself in dat, in dat — No, it ain't by itself in dat. 24 JACK^O'LANTERN Sence he los* *is brains to git 'is smile. Brer ]aci<'0'lantern grins lak a wilderin' chile NA^idout no secrets out or in ; An' de lighter in de head de broader 'is grin. An' he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — An' he ain't by 'isself in dat. 25 THE FLEA Look out for Mr. Po'-trash Flea! Ef you let im come in, he'll make too free; He'll chase yo' dog till he makes im pant. An' he II take yo' skin for a restaurant. An" he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — An' he ain't by isself in dat. 26 WILL O' THE WISP Ef de Wul o' de Wust would cuss an' swear An' take some shape, an' rip an' tear. It wouldn't sen' col' chills down a nigger's spine Like de changeable expression of a mystery shine. An' it ain't by its ghostly self in dat — No, it ain't by itself in dat. 27 THE MOLE De blind mole tunnels straight ahead. An' he gits whar he gwine wid a trustful tread But he nuver is yit got nowhar else. An' he'll nuver view de skies whar glory melts. But he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — But he ain't by 'isself in dat. 28 THE RUNT You'll sometimes trace de loudes' grunt in de horg'lot down to de littles' runt, Lak as ef he'd 'nounce whilst he bolts 'is swil "A pompious horg is as big as 'is will." An' he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — No, he ain't by 'isself in dat. 29 MONKEY De organ plays an' Br'er Monkey struts, An' he takes high pride in de capers he cuts While folks draps picayunes into 'is han For fallin' so short o' bein' a man. An' he ain't by 'isself, misled like dat— No, he ain't by 'isself in dat. 30 THE ARISTOCRAT Dat three' name chicken wid de feathery legs Wha' 'merged f'om de ten dollar settin' of eggs. Is a lonesome bird an' I s'picion he frets 'Ca'ze he can't outgrow dem pantalettes. An' he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — An' he ain't by 'isself in dat. 31 THE CRAWFISH Br'er Crawfish th'ows a racklass bluff. An' he sho do look like fightin' stuff; But turn 'im loose on a battie^groun'. An he'll bow 'isseif out, an' nuver turn roun' But he ain't by 'isseif in dat, in dat — But he ain't by 'isseif in dat. 32 THE ANGLEWORM " I could stand de hook," says de angleworm, "An' a lily-brook wouldn't make me squirm, But I can't help wrigglin' agin' my fate; It breaks me all up to be used for bait." An' he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — An' he ain't by 'isself in dat. 33 THE CHIMNEY^SWALLOW \A/id 'is nest in de flue whar de suctions blow. Storms due above an' fire below, No wonder Br'er Swaller sags an' sways Like a pusson ableeged to dodge bofe ways. An' he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — An' he ain't by 'isself in dat. 34 CATCHING DOODLE^BUGS Little picaninnies, fishin' in de doodle-bug holes. Wid a " spit for luck, " an' straws for poles. Show pyore delight in de fisherman's aim All disp'opo'tioned to de game. An' dey ain't by deyselves in dat, in dat- An' dey ain't by deyselves in dat. a» 35 THE PORCUPINE Sis' Porcupine, wid 'er bristles all set In a pompado' style, is waitin' yet. An' she can't understan', whilst she puckers 'er mug, De sca'city o' kisses an' de absent hug. But she ain't by 'er lonesome self in dat — No, she ain't by 'erself in dat. 36 Dem Ants is sho' got savin' ways An' even de Scripture 'lows 'em praise ; But dey hoa'ds for deyselves Pom day to day An' dey stings any man wha' gits in de way. An' dey ain't no new co'poration in dat No, dey ain't by deyselves in dat. 37 Sis' Tiri'Cage Polly wid de roamin' nose Dat roams f'om 'er eyes tel it p'ints to *er toes. She keeps up a ratlin' talkin' pace To turn off attention f'om de shape of 'er face. An* you ain't by yo'self. Sis' Polly, in dat — No, you ain't by yo'self in dat . 38 THE RATTLE^SNAKE Br'er Rattlc' snake rattles befo* he springs. But he warns too late to 'scape 'is stings ; His high'class manners don't count for much 'Ca'ze dey grafted on to a sarpent's touch. An' he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — An' he ain't by 'isself in dat. 39 THE PERSIMMON Is you little gals, growin' into women. Ever tasted a snappy young persimmin? It takes a hard frost to make it sweet. An' it's old an' swiveled 'fo' it's fit to eat! But it ain't by itself, sharp chillen, in dat- No, it ain't by itself in dat. 40 IN HARNESS Dat flee'bitten mule an' my bay mare In de hay'Wagon, sho is a mixtious pair : But dey's pulled so long th'ough wind an' weather Dat out in de field dey graze together. An' dey ain't by deyselves in dat, in dat — An' dey ain't by deyselves in dat. 41 THE CANARY Dc little yaller cage^bird preems 'is wings An* he mounts 'is pyerch an' sings an' sings: He feels 'is cage, but I s'pec' he 'low To take what comes an' sing anyhow ! An' you ain't by yo'self, little bird, in dat — No, you ain't by yo'self in dat. 42 ANSWERING BACK Br'er Pole-cat's got a s'ciety smile An' he sho is dressed in scrumptious style. But he keeps 'is own hat off de quality rack By de scan' bus way he answers back. But he ain't by 'isself in dat, in dat — But he ain't by 'isself in dat. 43 DATS DE WAY MY LADY'LL DO It ain't how many eyes you got, 'Les' needles could see an' potatoes, too; An' " hookin' a' eye," as like as not, \A/ould be classed as a sin dat no lady'd do. But it's keepin' yo' eyes turned to'des de right. An' to'des de wrong jes' shettin' 'em tight — Lookin' out for ways to be polite — Dat's de way my lady'd do ! It ain't how many ears you got Dat makes you listen an' learn an' do ; Else a hill o' corn in a garden plot Would be 'way ahead o' me an' you ; But it's shettin' yo' ears to heartless speech. An' listenin' whilst de teachers teach. An' strivin' to practise mo' 'n to preach — Dat's de way my lady' 11 do ! It ain't how many tongues you got, 'Les' shoes would talk an' wagons, too; An' all de bells would gabble a lot. An' tattle an' brag de long day th'ough ; But it's gyardin' yo' tongue Pom talk dat's wrong. An' passin' a helpful word along, An' maybe singin' a hopeful song — Dat's de way my lady'll do ! 44 45 THE MAMMY ALLIGATOR Said de mammy alligator, wid a motherly grin : I nuver liked babies wid dey dimples tucked in, But our little pet, wid its horny hide. Like its mammy's an' its daddy's, is de fam'ly pride. An' dey ain't by deyselves in dat, in dat — An* dey ain't by deyselves in dat. 46 THE NEW RICH Sis' Mush A. Pvoon sprung up over night An' to name whar she sprung f om ain't polite But she spreads erself wuss'n me or you. An wid on'y one foot to stan' on, too. An she ain't by er new-come self in dat— No, she ain't by erself in dat. 47 THE WIBBLY WABBLY CALF Cunnin' little donkey-baby — "Ye-haw! Ye-haw!" What a funny laugh Soun' jes like a creaky, cranky Seesaw — seesaw I W^asn't nothin' funny roun' dat We saw — we saw ! 'Tel we glimpsed de stagger-gait dat He saw — he saw! Brindle strikin' swagger-gait when She saw — she saw — her wibbly wabbly calf! I '.-^ ^ 48 Den we j'ined wid Mister Donkey, "He-haw! He-haw!" How we-all did laugh! But we laughed at some'h'n' mo' dan He saw — he saw! Donl