NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 'Baker'3 Coition' or Play^ ^(3!f:^f3CB^^f^(2^ AKING A SISTER Price, 25 Cents ■|2= COPYRIGHT, 1689. BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO THE AHAZONS ^^*^® ^ Three Acts. Seven males, Ave lemaies. Costumes, modem ; scenery, not difficult. Plays a full eveningo THE CABINET MINISTER ^arcein Four Acts. Tenmaiesnine females. Costumes, modem society s Bcenei y, three interiorSo Plays a full evening. DANDT DICK ^^^^'^ *° Three Acts. Seven males, four temaios. Costumes, modem ; scenery, two interiors. "Playr two hours and a halt THE fiAY LORD ODEX C^^^^^y^^^oi^-^cts. Four males ten ^ females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening, HIS HOUSE IN ORDER ^<^™®^^ctSo Nine males, fo^Tir females. Costumes, modern ; scenerv^ three in te n o ra Plays a full evening. THE BODSY HORSE ^°™®*^y ^ Three Acts. Ten males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery easy. Plays t^i uours and a halt IDIC I '^ama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes j luodem ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. LADT BOUNTIFUL ^^^ ^ ^^^ '^*'**' -^^^^^ males, seven fe- males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four in- teriors, not easy Plays a full evening. LETTY ^'^*™* ^ Fova Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, fiye f e- ^ males. Costumes, modem ; scenery complicated. Plays a full evening. Sent prepaid on receipt of price by Walttv ^. iBafeer & Company No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts Making a Sister A Mock Initiation for Ladies By EPES WINTHROP SARGENT BOSTON WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 1910 r'^. '/ n n '7 Making a Sister y?/^ CHARACTERS Mrs. Spiration, the Candidate. Mrs. Innitt, Supreme Sister Mrs. Ittue, Assistant Supreme Sister Mrs. Metue, Supreme Leader Officers of the Order of 2Vie Sis- ters of Sympathy. Mrs. Wanta, Assistant Supreme Leader Mrs. Soran, Leader of the Goat Mrs. Tinnit, Keeper of the Goat Mrs. Askin ~\ ^^,,,^^^^ ^y ^/^^ Qrder of The Sisters of Miss Oneley V SvmMthv Miss Fragette ) y F'- y- Costumes : — According to fancy. Copyright, 1910, by Walter H, Baker & Co. (gCI.D 2IOCO Making a Sister SCENE. — A parlor. Parlor suit with extra camp chairs if necessary. Room arranged as though for a fneeting. Large chair, draped, at R.^for Supreme Sister. One at \..,for Assistant Supreme Sister. On either side of her are chairs for leaders. Gatekeepers on eitlier side of door, c. Secre- tary and tr easier er in upper corners, hi c, a small table, draped, on which are displayed the skull and cross bones. The skull is a tobacco far partly full. {At curtain, all oji except Mrs. Spiration. All are talkifig except Mrs. Innitt, who is in her place atR., and rap- ping for order. She uses a small tack hammer as a gave I. ^ Mrs. Inn. Come, girls, this will never do. The first thing you must learn is to come to order at the sound of the gavel. Mrs. Metue. Is that what it is? I thought you were just knocking — as usual. Mrs. Inn. I suppose you think that's funny ? Miss Oneley. Is that a gavel ? I thought gavels were like — like — {pause') like a stick stuck into a turnip. Mrs. Inn. So they are. I asked Mr. Innitt to loan me the one he uses in his lodge, but he said that if the United Sisters of Sympathy were anything like the restof the women's societies he knew of we'd break at least two at each meeting, and he wasn't taking any chances with a perfectly good gavel. Omnes. Brute — the mean thing, etc. Mrs. Ittue. Well, I don't think that a tack hammer looks dignified. A potato masher would be more like a real gavel. Mrs. Inn. I know it would. I asked the cook for ours, but she wouldn't let me take it. Mrs. M. Wouldn't let you take it ! I'd like to see a cook of mine tell me I couldn't have my own potato masher. Mrs, Inn. But Gwendolyn has been with us such a long 4 MAKING A SISTER time. When servants stay with one family a long time they presume on the length of their service. Mrs. Tinnitt. You've had Gwendolyn two weeks, haven't you ? Mrs. Inn. (^proudly). Nearly three ! Mrs. T. My ! However do you manage it ? I never can keep a cook a week. Mrs. Inn. George pays the policeman five dollars a week to come and visit her every evening. Mrs. Wanta. I knew that there was something underhand going on when you could keep a girl three weeks. I think I'll try that. Mrs. Inn. You mustn't. There's only one pohceman in town, and we've got him. Mrs. Askin. It doesn't always work. I coaxed Henry to keep a horse so that we would have to keep a coachman. We figured that would help us keep a girl. Omnes. Did it work ? etc. Mrs. a. First rate — for a month. Then they got married and went to the city to live. They wanted to have a good school handy for the children. Mrs. Inn. Never mind the servant question, girls. The Sisters are more important. Remember this is the first real meeting, and the candidate is waiting outside. Mrs. M. I don't see what you want that Mrs. Spiration in the society for. She doesn't really belong to our set, though goodness knows that she would give her right hand to belong. She should not be encouraged. Mrs. Inn. But we had to have some one to practice on, didn't we? It never would do to initiate people in our own set and make all sorts of mistakes. As charter members we do not have to be initiated, but all who come in now must be re- ceived according to the ritual Mrs. Bolton gave me. Mrs. M. But Mrs. Spiration is so impossible. Mrs. Inn. I know it, but she will let us ^learly kill her in order to belong. We can practice on her until we get it right, and then we can bring her up on charges and expel her. Mrs. Soran. It doesn't seem quite fair to expel her after we've given her all that trouble. Mrs. a. It will serve her good and plenty right for pre- suming to ask to be admitted to the sisterhood. Mrs. Sor. But she didn't ask. We asked her if she didn't want to come in. That's the way I understand it. MAKING A SISTER 5 Mrs. Inn. My dear, all's fair in love and secret societies. Mrs. Sor. I thought it was ''all's fair in love and war." Miss Fragette. It's the same thing. Secret societies are fighting all the time. You know what Sherman said war is. Bob says that's what women's secret societies are. Until we have our rights and can join the Masons and things like that, he's right. I don't see the use of fighting among ourselves when we can fight for the great cause of Woman's Rights. Let's make this a branch of the Woman's Rights league. Mrs. Inn. Look here, Susie Fragette, you can't do that here. You always want to make a Woman's Rights club of anything you join. You tried to make the Dorcas society a Votes for Women league, and you know what happened to that. Miss F. All except the funds. You were treasurer, and you know more about that. Mrs. Inn. What if I was? I accounted for every penny I spent. There was only two dollars left, and I lost that. Miss F. The afternoon of Mrs. Ittue's bridge party ! Mrs. Inn. It's no such thing. I lost it coming home, not when I was playing bridge. You want to make this a Woman's Rights club so you can be president. I saw through your game when you wanted to join, so there. Mrs. Itt. Ladies ! Ladies ! This will never do ! We never will get started at this rate. It's a shame to begin quar- reling before we even get organized. Miss F. That's what I say. If we must fight, fight the men ; fight for our rights and our votes. Fight for women, not with women. Miss O. I don't see why we should fight for women. Miss F. It would be a novelty for you. You've been fight- ing for a man for the last forty years, and you haven't won one yet. Miss O. You forget that you are in my house. I will not be insulted in my own house. Miss F. I'll go out on the sidewalk and say it there where every one can hear me, if you prefer. Mrs. Inn. Ladies ! Ladies ! Come to order. I must in- sist upon order. Miss O. But she said Mrs. Inn. Order ! Miss F. You're making more noise than we are. Mrs. Inn. I've a right to. I'm the Supreme Sister, and I insist on order even if I have to make a noise to get it. Miss 6 MAKING A SISTER Oneley is going to serve tea after we get through, and if you get her angry she won't. You know what splendid cakes she bakes. Take your places. {All subside^ and Mrs. Inn. raps for order.') Now, sisters, we are ready for business. Sister Supreme Leader, bring in the candidate. Mrs. Sor. But she's not been balloted on yet. Candidates must be balloted for. Miss F. Sure they must. When you women get your rights you'll know more about such things. Mrs. Inn. But what's the use of balloting ? She has to be elected, doesn't she? She's the only one we can prac- tice on. Mrs. M. The constitution says the ballot must be spread. Mrs. T. Spread on what ? Mrs. a. You don't spread it on anything. You just spread it. Mrs. T. But you must have something to spread something on or you can't spread it. Mrs. Inn. Order. Spread the ballot, Sister Leader of the Goat. Mrs. Sor. How do I do it ? Mrs. Inn. You take a box and some white and blackballs. Pass them to every one. Mrs. Sor. Where are they ? Mrs. Inn. We must get a regular ballot-box. Miss One- ley, have you anything that will do? Miss O. We can use buttons this once. (Searches work' basket.') I can't find any black buttons. Mrs. Inn. That doesn't matter. We don't need any. Miss O. But it's more like a real society to have them. They all have black balls. Miss F. Not in Bob's lodge. When they're afraid a candi- date won't be elected, they take the black balls away so they can't be cast. Mrs. M. But we must have some black ones. Mrs. Inn. Next time we will have them. Sister Leader of the Goat, spread the ballot. That means bring it to me and then take it to Mrs. Ittue. We look at it, then you put it on the altar and the others vote. (Mrs. Sor. takes a cup from the table and holds the buttons hi her hand. She does as directed. All vote.) Now show it to Mrs. Ittue and then bring it to me. {She does so.) How stands the vote, Assist- ant Supreme Sister ? MAKING A SISTER 7 Mrs. Itt. There were eight white buttons and one black one. Mrs. Inn. I didn't see a black one. Look again. (Mrs. Sor. takes cup to Mrs. Itt.) Mrs. Itt. There are eight white buttons and none black. I must have been mistaken. I was certain that I saw one. Mrs. M. Certainly you did. 1 put it in myself. Mrs. Sor. But I didn't have any black ones, so how could you put one in the cup ? Mrs. M. I pulled one off my shoe. I don't want Mrs. Spi ration to join. Mrs. Inn. But it won't be for long, and we've got to re- hearse before we can ask any of our set to join. We can't practice on people like Mrs. Bagard or Mrs. Gottit. I would feel terribly if Mrs. Saunders, for instance, was to join and we made a lot of mistakes. Here's your shoe button, Sadie. Now, Assistant Supreme Sister, how do you find the ballot? Mrs. Itt. All white buttons. Mrs. Inn. No ! No ! You must say ''All well," like it is in the book. Mrs. Itt. Very well. Mrs. Inn. No. All well. Mrs. Itt. I said very well I would say all well. Give me a chance. Ask me again. Mrs. Inn. How do you find the ballot, Assistant Supreme Sister ? Mrs. Itt. Now you're not talking like the book. You should say, *' Assistant Supreme Sister, how do you find the ballot?" not ''How do you find the ballot, Assistant Supreme Sister?" Mrs. Inn. It means the same thing, only it's turned around. Mrs. Itt. And all white buttons means the same thing as all well, only it's more correct. Mrs. Inn. Assistant Supreme Sister, how do you find the ballot ? Mrs. Itt. All well. Mrs. Inn. Then I declare the candidate elected. Sister Supreme Leader, prepare the candidate. Mrs. M. How do I do it ? Mrs. Inn. I told you how once, before the meeting. You blindfold her and try to get her scared of what's going to hap- pen to her. Hurry up. 8 MAKING A SISTER Mrs. M. All right. Come on, Mrs. Wanta. Mrs. Inn. You must say, "Your order will be obeyed." Then you bow three times and back out of the door. Mrs. M. Your order shall be obeyed. Come on, Mrs. Wanta. Mrs. Inn. Say ''Assistant Leader, prepare to accompany me to invest the candidate with the dread ceremonies." Mrs. M. Assistant Leader, prepare to accompany me to invest the candidate with the dread ceremonies. Mrs. Inn. I forgot. You pust call her Sister Assistant Leader. Mrs. M. Have I got to say that again ? Mrs. Inn. Certainly. That's what we are rehearsing for, to be right. Mrs. M. Sister Assistant Leader, prepare to accompany me to invest the candidate in our dread ceremonies, and I hope I've got it right this time. \_Exetint Mrs. M. a?id Mrs. W. Mrs. Inn. I do hope it goes all right, girls. Mrs. Bolton made a copy of her ritual, and she doesn't write a very good hand. She used to be a school-teacher, and I suppose that's the reason she can't write. She's got the loveliest home. Brussells carpet even in the servant's room. Her husband makes a lot of money and she takes it all away from him. I never saw a happier wife. Mrs. a. Any woman could be happy that gets all her hus- band's money. Why, I asked for a dollar the other day and all I got was a quarter. Miss F. And women submit to such outrages without a struggle ! They will not heed the call to arms. Mrs. Sor. You poor dear. Mrs. a. I only asked for a bluff. I guess he knew where that five dollars went to that he missed from his bill fold. {Knock at c. door. Mrs. M. pokes head in.') Mrs. M. Are you all ready to give it to her ? Mrs. Inn. You should say, '' The candidate awaits your supreme pleasure, Supreme Sister." Mrs. M. The candidate awaits your supreme pleasure, Supreme Sister. Mrs. Inn. (readifig from ritual). Let her enter our august presence and stand humbly before the altar of sympathy. Mrs. M. Come on in, Mrs. Spiration, and get yours. Mrs. Inn. No. You repeat what I say to you. I say; MAKING A SISTER 9 " Enter our august presence and stand humbly before the altar of sympathy," and you repeat. You see 1 tell you what to tell her, and you tell her what I tell you to tell her. Mrs. M. But she hears you tell me what you tell me to tell her. Why should I tell her what you tell me to tell her when she hears you tell me what to tell her ? Mrs. Inn. Because it's in the ritual that way. Mrs. M. Enter our august presence and stand humbly be- fore the altar of sympathy. Come on in and don't be all night about it. Mrs. Spir. (at door). I'm afraid. What are you going to do to me ? Mrs. M. Lots ! Come on in and find out. (Mrs. M. and Mrs. W. push and pull Mrs. Spir. to l. of altar.') Mrs. Inn. Poor, miserable candidate. Kiss the emblem of sympathy which rests upon the altar of mortality before you. Mrs. Spir. I'm afraid. What is it? Mrs. M. It's none of your business. Mrs. Inn. (impressively). It is a skull ! Mrs. Spir. I'm afraid. Mrg. M. Don't be afraid. It won't bite you. (Pushes head down.) Mrs. Spir. It smells of tobacco. Mrs. M. Sure. The poor man died of tobacco heart. He smoked himself to death, and I guess he's still smoking where he is now. Go ahead and kiss it. (Forces head down. Mrs. Spir. kisses skull and is about to straighten up when Mrs. M. checks her.) Wait a minute. (To Mrs. Inn.) Say, isn't this where the slap stick comes in ? Mrs. Inn. Yes. That's what the book says. Mrs. Askin, you promised to bring the slap stick. Mrs. a. Here it is. ( Offers a piece of joist which she lets fall on floor* Mrs. Spir. jumps.) Mrs. Inn. That's not a slap stick, it's a club. Don't you know what a slap stick is ? It's two barrel staves nailed to- 10 MAKING A SISTER gether. It makes a lot of noise but it doesn't hurt much. I wouldn't hit anybody with that — not even Mrs. Spiration. It will make her all black and blue. Mrs. a. I thought a slap stick was a stick to slap with, and that you wanted to give it to her good. • Mrs. Inn. But that will half kill her. Mrs. M. Never mind. We'll have a real slap stick for the next meeting. Use this on Spiration. She won't mind. Mrs. Spir. But I don't want to be black and blue. Mrs. M. You'll have to if you want to belong. Go ahead, Tinnit, you are the Keeper of the Goat. Mrs. Inn. The Sister Keeper of the Goat. Mrs. M. Oh, yes, the Keeper of the Sister Goat. I mean Sister Keeper of the Goat. Anyhow, hurry up and do it. I can't hold her all night. Mrs. T. I'm afraid I'll hurt her. Mrs. M. She won't mind. Now (/o Mrs. Spir.), keep still. Mrs. T. I'm afraid. Mrs. Spir. So am I. Mrs. M. Oh, be a sport. Now. Mrs. T. Ready? {Raises club.) Mrs. Spir. {yelling and breaking away). I won't ! I won't ! Mrs. M. How do you suppose we are going to initiate you if you want to play tag? You mustn't listen when we're not talking to you ; then you won't know what's coming. You don't know that's a club; you won't know until after we hit you. You'll know then. Mrs. Spir. But I do know. Mrs. Inn. But the book says you don't. Mrs. T. Let's just pretend to hit her. That's an awfully heavy stick to hit with. Mrs. M. Here, you hold her and I'll hit her. I'm not afraid. Mrs. Inn. I think we had better just pretend. We can really hit her when we have the next meeting. Mrs. Spir. I don't care if I never get it. Mrs. M. But I do. Give me that stick, Tinnit, and help hold her. Mrs. Spir. I never did anything to you. Mrs. M. But I'm going to do something to you. Give me the stick. MAKING A SISTER II Mrs. Inn. Just pretend you've been hit, Mrs. Spiration. Yell. Mrs. Spir. Ouch ! Mrs. M. Do better than that. {Pinches her arm. Mrs. Spir. yells.) That's more like it. Mrs. Inn. The candidate cries aloud in pain. Sisters, let us sympathize with the candidate. {All crowd about Mrs. Spir. and pet her.) Now that the candidate knows the sweet sympathy of our beautiful order, let her be taken before the Assistant Supreme Sister and be given the grip of friendship. Sister Supreme Leader, conduct the candidate to the Assistant Supreme Sister. Mrs. M. Come on to the Assistant Supreme Sister. Mrs. Inn. You must say, '' Approach the Assistant Supreme Sister and receive the warm grip of friendship." Mrs. M. Approach the Assistant Supreme Sister and re- ceive the warm grip of friendship. {To l.) Go ahead and give her what you've got for her. Mrs. Inn. Say, ''Invest the candidate with the warm grip of friendship," and give it to her good. Mrs. Itt. Hold these. {Presents electrodes.') Mrs. Spir. It's electricity, I know it is. Mrs. Itt. No, it isn't ; honest, it isn't. Mrs. Spir. I know it is. Mrs. M. You mustn't contradict the Assistant Supreme Sister. Go ahead and grab 'em. Mrs. Spir. But it is electricity. Mrs. M. Give me that stick, Soran. Is it electricity? Mrs. Spir. No ; but you know I can't stand electricity. Mrs. M. Didn't you just say this isn't electricity? Mrs. Spir. But it is electricity. Mrs. M. What ! Mrs. Spir. No, it isn't. Mrs. M. Then grab those handles. {Current on. Mrs. Spir. j/^/Zr.) Mrs. Spir. Stop. Please stop. Oh ! Oh ! Oh ! Mrs. Itt. Did you tell me five seconds or five minutes? Mrs. Spir. Seconds. Not minutes ! Mrs. M. She wasn't talking to you. Mrs. Inn. I can't make out. The writing is soJ^ad. Mrs. Itt. Let's see. 12 MAKING A SISTER {AH leave Mrs. Spir. alone with current on, and gather about the book. ) Mrs. a. It looks like minutes to me. Mrs. T. That first letter looks like an S. Mrs. M. It's part of the M. Miss F. Make it five minutes, and then we can't be wrong. Mrs. Sor. Take a vote. Mrs. Inn. We can't vote. We must adhere to the ritual. Miss O. Let's vote. Mrs. M. Don't let's. Mrs. Inn. It would be well to vote. Take your seats. {Do7ie.') All in favor of five seconds say aye. Mrs. Spir. Aye ! Mrs. M. Only members can vote. You're not a member, so you can't vote. Mrs. Inn. All in favor of seconds say aye. (All vote aye except Mrs. M.) All in favor of minutes say aye. Mrs. M. Aye ! Mrs. Inn. The seconds have it. {Curre?itoff.) Assistant Supreme Sister, teach the candidate the second grip of friend- ship and sympathy. Mrs. Spir. Is this worse ? Mrs. M. This is easy. Mrs. Itt. Place your right hand on your left shoulder blade. Mrs. Spir. I can't. Mrs. M. Do what she tells you. Here. (Helps to place arm.') Mrs. Itt. Give me your left hand. (Places 07vn right hand on shoulder blade and shakes.) Mrs. Inn. Approach the Supreme Sister. Mrs. M. You heard what she said. Come along. Mrs. Spir. What's she got ? Mrs. M. She's got a stronger battery. Mrs. Spir. I won't do it. Mrs. M. You must. Mrs. Inn. It's not like that at all, Mrs. Spiration. , Mrs. M. It's worse. . ' MAKING A SISTER 13 Mrs. Spir. I won't go. I won't. (Mrs. M. and Mrs. W. push her over to r.) Mrs. M. Here she is. Mrs. Inn. Say "Supreme Sister, I present a candidate for initiation who must be obligated." Mrs. M. I present a candidate for initiation, who must be obligated. Mrs. Inn. Lead her to the altar and place her in a proper position. Mrs. Spir. It's that stick again. I know it is. Mrs. M. It's nothing of the sort. Come along. Push her, Wanta. Mrs. Spir. {at altar). I'm afraid. Mrs. M. Sure. You must be or it isn't any fun for us. Kneel down. All ready. Mrs. Inn. Say — ''The candidate is properly placed." Mrs. M. The candidate is properly placed. Mrs. Inn.. Mrs. Soran, did you bring your little boy's goat? Mrs. Spir. Charlie Soran's goat ! I don't want to belong. Let me up. Mrs. M. I told you not to listen when we were not talking to you. Mrs. Spir. But I won't be butted. Mrs. M. That shows all you know about it. Mrs. Sor. I'm sorry, Mrs. Innitt, but Charlie cried so when I asked him that I hadn't the heart to take it. Miss F. You mean you didn't have the nerve to take it. You see, Mrs. Innitt, Charlie turned the goat loose and told her if she wanted it she would have to catch it herself. You know that goat ; we all do. Miss O. Of course. That's why we let her join, because it would save buying a goat. Mrs. a. And now we've got her, and we can't get her goat. Mrs. Inn. If there is no goat I think we had better adjourn the meeting and give Mrs. Spiration her initiation some other time. Mrs. Spir. And take that electricity all over again and have my arm put out of joint ! Mrs. M. You don't hear what we are saying when we are not talking to you. Mrs. Spir, I can't help it. 14 MAKING A SISTER Mrs. M. But you must. Miss F. Can't we bump her with the sofa or the piano? It would be about the same thing. Mrs. M. Take the piano. Mrs. T. The sofa would be better. Miss O. The sofa is rather old. It was my grandfather's. I should be sorry to see it broken. Mrs. Inn. I told you girls what to get. I don't see why you didn't get them. You promised you would. Mrs. Sor. How could I know that Charlie would act so~? Mrs. a. I brought what I thought you wanted. Mrs. Spiration needs a big stick, she is so fat. Mrs. T. I brought my battery. Miss O. I didn't promise you could use my sofa. Mrs. M. Take any old thing. It won't matter. She won't belong long. Mrs. Spir. What's that ? Mrs. M. I said it won't be long — long, see? Mrs. Spir. I see. Mrs. M. How can you, when you're blindfolded ? Mrs. Inn. What shall we do, girls ? Miss O. I have an idea. (^Crosses to Mrs. Inn. All gather about her ^ leaving M.'RS. Spir. alone. There is much whispering and at the e?id Miss O. leaves the room. Mrs. Spir. has turned a7id is sitting on the floor.) Mrs. M. The idea ! You must remain kneeling. Mrs. Spir. But my knees hurt. Mrs. M. You'd rather kneel than sit down when the goat gets through with you. Mrs. Spir. Who went out ? Mrs. M. No one went out. Mrs. Spir. But I heard the door open and shut. Mrs. M. The candidate will not question the veracity of the Leader, or you can't join. You want to join, don't you? Mrs. Spir. Yes, but you didn't tell me there was going to be a real goat. Mrs. M. We don't have to tell you all we know. Of course, if you don't want to belong, why Mrs. Spir. But I do want to belong. I do, only I don't want to be butted. It hurls. Mrs. M. It will hurt the goat more than it will you. MAKING A SISTER I5 Mrs. Spir. But a goat's head is large and — — (^All laugh.) Mrs. Inn. Order, sisters. Miss O. {ai door). I've got it. Mrs. Sor. Wait a moment. {She takes two umbrellas, with which she imitates the tread of a goat as Miss O. brings i?i a toy goat about six inches long.) Mrs. Inn. Sister Supreme Leader, place the candidate in position. Mrs. Spir. No ! No ! Please don't. Mrs. W. Well, if you don't want to belong Mrs. Spir. But I do, only I want to go to the theatre this evening and Mrs. W. You'll save money. You will only need to buy standing room instead of an orchestra seat. Mrs. Inn. Are you ready ? Mrs. A. Can't you put something over her skirt? That's her best dress, and she's going to the theatre this evening. Mrs. W. Take a table cover, it won't hurt it. Mrs. Spir. Can't you use a sofa pillow ? Mrs. M. This will do. " Mrs. Inn. Ready ? Mrs. Itt. Look ! He's eating the curtains. Mrs. M. Shoo him away. Mrs. Spir. You won't let him eat my dress, will you ? Mrs. M. He'll be too busy when he gets to you to think about eating. Don't worry. Mrs. Inn. Ready? Miss F. Let go \ Mrs. Spir. Wait, please wait a minute. We've got seats in the second row for to-night. I'd hate to have to give them up. Mrs. W. Don't worry about the seats — worry about the goat. Mrs. Inn. Ready now ? Mrs. Sor. Go! {Hoof effect.) Mrs. Spir. {jumping i/p). Don't, please don't. I won't be butted. Mrs. Inn. Mrs. Spiration, if you want to belong to this order I must insist that you do as we tell you. l6 MAKING A SISTER Mrs. Spir. Of course I want to belong. Mrs. Inn. Then assume your proper position at the altar and remain there until your Supreme Leader tells you you may move. (Mrs. Spir. kneels at altar. Business of fixing dress with table cover.) Mrs. M. Now let the goat come. {Hoof effect.) Mrs. Spir. No. 1 won't belong. Mrs. Inn. Sister Supreme Leadet, conduct the candidate out. Sister Keepers of the Gate, see that the candidate never again enters these portals. Mrs. Spir. {groaning). I suppose I've got to. {Kneels.) Go ahead then. (Miss F; blows up a paper bagy and as the goat is run across the floor and as it hits Mrs. Spir., she bursts it. Mrs. Spir. screams, tears off the bandage and sees goat.) Was that the goat ? Mrs. W. You're the goat. Mrs. Spir. And it's all a trick. I'm going home. I wanted to belong to your society because I thought it was a real lodge, but it's all a trick. I — I — {pausing) I hate you. \Exit, Mrs. Inn. She'll tell. Mrs. Itt. I don't care. If she does we'll start another lodge. Mrs. Carrington, the New York woman who visited me last summer, belongs to a perfectly stunning lodge. I'll get her to send me the ritual. She'll be able to afford to have it typewritten. Mrs. Inn. And you'll run it. I think you broke up the Sisters of Sympathy on purpose. Mrs. Itt. I did not. It's your fault because you didn't have a good ritual. I'll get a good one. Miss F. Make it for suffrage. I'll get you a lot of mem- bers. Mrs. Itt. That will elect you president. I know the way you work. (Miss F. crosses to Mrs. Itt.) Miss F. Hussy ! Mrs. Itt. Cat ! Mrs. Inn. I don't care what you do. I'm going to keep this society going, and if you think you can start another, MAKING A SISTER I7 you're mistaken. You've both been watching your chance to steal this one from me, but you can't do it. Miss F. Who wants your old society ? Mrs. Inn. You do. Miss F. I don't. Mrs. Inn. You do. Miss F. {crossing to Mrs. Inn.). I'll — I'll pull your hair. Mrs. a. Don't you dare. I'd like to see you stop her. What do you want to mix in for ? Leave her I'm not afraid of you. Don't you lay a finger on her. Don't you meddle. I'm not afraid of you. You mustn't fight in my house. I'm not afraid of you. {During the cotiversation the others have beeii tailing sides among themselves, and now Miss F. shakes Mrs. Inn., who pulls Miss F.'s hair. The action precipitates aJigJit, in which all participate in a battle royal.^ {First curtain^ fighting cofitinues. Second curtain, the stage is all upset. The members are in all sorts of poses in- dicative of extreme exhaustion. Third curtain, all bow. Mrs. Spir. on.^ Mrs. W. Mrs. M. alone. Mrs. W. Mrs. T. Mrs. Itt. Mrs. T. Miss 0. Mrs. Itt. New Farces and Comedies HIGBEE OF HARVARD A Comedy Drama in Three Acts By Charles Townsend Five males, four females. Modern costumes ; scenes, two interiors and an exterior — the latter may be played as well in an interior, if preferred. Plays a full evening. A clever, up-to-date piece, well suited for amateur performance. No small parts ; all good. Giood plot, full of incident, no love-making, interest strong and sustained. FricCy J^ cents A REGIMENT OF TWO A Farcical Comedy in Three Acts By Afithony E, Wills Six males, four females. Modern costumes. Scene, an interior, the same for all three acts. Plays a full evening. A lively, up-to-date farce, easy to produce and full of laughs from beginning to end. All the parts good — no small ones. German comedy characters for both male and female, and " wild west " character part and English character comedy. Strongly recommended. Price y 2J cents THE MISSING MISS MILLER A Comedy in Three Acts By Harold A. Clarke Six males, five females. Scenery, two interiors ; costumes modern. Plays a full evening. A bright and up-to-date farce-comedy of the liveliest type. All the parts good ; full of opportunity for all hands. Easy to pro- duce and strongly recommended. Good tone ; might answer for schools, but is a sure hit for amateur theatricals. Professional sta^e rights reserved. Pricey 2^ cents MISS BUZBY'S BOARDERS A Comedy in Three Acts By Arthur Lewis Tubbs Five male, six female characters. Costumes modern ; scenery, two easy interiors. Plays two hours. In a lighter vein than this writer's other pieces, but just as strong, and offers plenty of comedy. All the parts good ; fomr call for strong acting. Several good character parts and efifective heavy character. Dialogue especially good. A sure hit. Price t 2S cents New Plays A GIRL IN A THOUSAND A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS By Evelyn Gray Whiting Fourteen females. Costumes, modern ; scenes, three interiors and an ex. terior. Plays a full evening. Very strong and sympathetic and of varied interest. Irish comedy ; strong " witch " character ; two very lively " kids "; all tlie parts good. Effective, easy to produce, and can be "strongly recom- mended to young people as thoroughly wholesome in tone as well as amus- ing. Price, 25 cents CHARACTERS FOLKS AT THE COTTAGE Grais'NY Morris, an old-fashioned Syl,via., a little peacemaker. body, Charlotte, " Charlie." FiiORA, poor, but proud. Kathleen, '^ Kit." FOLKS AT THE HALL Helena Glendon, a delightful per- 'PHCE.BB'PR^STOi!!,tvho reads the HoiiSh son. Journal. Vivian Glendon, her adopted child. Nora, a believer in charms, with none Mrs. Preston, a housekeeper. of her own. Miss TuAhM'E'R, ivitch of the hollotv. Miss Prim, school-teacher somewhat ]\IRS. Wentworth, a wealthy widow. like her name. Miss Guilford, her companion. SYNOPSIS ACT I. — Granny Morris' cottage. Seven wishes. One comes true. The Witch's prophecy. ACT II.— School-room at Miss Prim's. Some tahleaux. A cake-walk. A prophecy fulfilled. # ACT III.— Sitting room at tlie Hall. Granny forgets her skirt. The Witch again. A face at the window. ACT IV. — Witch Hollow. A picnic. Nora tries a charm. Unravelling of the skein, MOSE A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS By C. W. Miles Eleven males, ten females. Scenery, two interiors; costumes modern. Plays an hour and a half. A lively college farce, full of good local color and the true college spirit. Its cast is unusually large, but many of the parts are small and incidental. Introduces a good deal of singing, wliich will serve to lengthen the performance. Tlie inevitable foot-ball is an element of its story, b'lt its Htrongest dramatic interest does not depend upon tliis. Recommend- ^ >-ighly for co-educational colleges. Professional stage-rights reserved. Price ^ 15 cents New Plays LUCIA'S LOVER A FARCE IN THREE ACTS By Bertha Currier Porter For Female Characters Only s an Eight females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. Play., ..- hour and a lialf . A bright and graceful piece, light in character, hut sym- pathetic and amusing. Six contrasted types of girls at hoarding school are sho^yn in a novel story. Lots of fun, but very refined. Easy to produce and can be strongly recommended. Price, 25 cents CHARACTERS Polly Chandler, who loves cats. Lucia Lovering, a love-lorn lass. Mildred Chase. Miss McGregor, a teacher.^ KATHERINE STANTOK. MRS. GOLDTHWAITE, O IVulOW With Edith Lee, a Southern girl. an only son. Marcia Summers, a little older than Chauncey, an adopted ch%ld. the others. SYNOPSIS ACT I.— Polly's room at boarding school. Dressmaking. Chauncey, the cat. Lucia's love-letter. ACT II —The same. The countersign. Welsh Rarebits. A midnight feast. Lights out! The secret. Fortune-telling. A confession. ACT III —A reception room in the school. The day of judgment. A widow with an only son. Interrupted. A concealed jury. Brought to book. True friendship. Lucia's lover. THE THREE HATS A FARCICAL COMEDY IN THREE ACTS From the French, hy Arthur Shirley Five males four females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, one interior, the s