An Elntertainment in Two Acts 
 
 THE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 S5CI-1 I C /A GOG 
 
 THEDRAMAT1CPUBLI5HING -COMPANY 
 
Hageman^s Make-Up Book 
 
 By MAURICE HAGEMAN 
 
 Price, 25 cents 
 
 1 .r Jmportance of an effective make-up is becoming more appar' 
 ent to the professional actor every year, but hitherto there has been 
 no book on the subject describing the modern methods and at the 
 same time covering all branches of the art. This want has novr 
 been filled. Mr. Hageman has had an experience of twenty years 
 as actor and stage-manager, and his well-known literary ability has 
 enabled him to put the knowledge so gained into shape to be of 
 use to others. The book is an encyclopedia of the art of making up. 
 Every branch of the subject is exhaustively treated, and few ques- 
 tions can be asked by professional or amateur that cannot be an- 
 swered by this admirable hand-book. It is not only the best make- 
 up book ever published, but it is not likely to be superseded by 
 any other. It is absolutely indispensable to every ambitious actor 
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 Chapter I. General Remarks. 
 
 Chapter II. Grease-Paints, their origin, components and use. 
 
 Chapter III. The Make-up Box. Grease-PaJnts, Mirrors, Face 
 Powder and Puff, Exora Cream, Rouge. Liquid Color, Grenadine, 
 f^lue for the Eyelids, Brilliantine for the Hair, Nose Putty, Wig 
 Paste. Mascaro, Crape Hair, Spirit Gum, Scissors, Artists' Stomps. 
 Cold Cream, Cocoa Butter, Recipes for Cold Cream. 
 
 Chapter IV. Preliminaries before Making up; the Straight Make- 
 up and how to remove it. 
 
 Chapter V. Remarks to Ladies. Liquid Creams, Rouge, Lips, 
 Eyebrows, Eyelashes, Character Roles, Jewelry, Removing Make-up. 
 
 Chapter VI. Juveniles. Straight Juvenile Make-up, Society 
 Men. Young Men in 111 Health, with Red Wigs, Rococo Make-up, 
 Hands, Wrists, Cheeks, etc. 
 
 Chapter VII. Adults, Middle Aged and Old Men. Ordinary Type 
 of Manhood, Lining Colors, Wrinkles, Rouge, Sickly and Healthy 
 Old Ae;e, Ruddy Complexions. 
 
 Chapter VIII. Comedy and Character Make-ups. Comedy Ef- 
 fects, Wigs. Beards, Eyebrows, Noses, Lips, Pallor of Death. 
 
 Chapter IX. The Human Features. The Mouth and Lips, the 
 Eyes and Eyelids, the Nose, the Chin, the Ear, the Teeth. 
 
 Chapter X. Other Exposed Parts of the Human Anatomy. 
 
 Chapter XL Wigs, Beards, Moustaches, and Eyebrows. Choosing 
 a Wig, Powdering the Hair, Dimensions for Wigs, Wig Bands, Bald 
 Wigs, Ladies' Wigs, Beards on Wire, on Gauze, Crape Hair, Wool, 
 Beards for Tramps, Moustaches, Eyebrows. 
 
 Chapter XII. Distinctive and Traditional Characteristics. North 
 American Indians, New England Farmers. Hoosiers, Southerners. 
 Politicians, Cowboys, Minors, Quakers, Tramps, Creoles, Mulattoes, 
 Quadroons, Octoroons. Negroes, Soldiers during War, Soldiers dur- 
 ing Peace, Scouts, Pathfinders, Puritans, Early Dutch Settlers. 
 Englishmen, Scotchmen, Irishmen, Frenchmen, Italians, Spaniards, 
 Portuguese, South Americans, Scandinavians, Germans, Hollanders. 
 Hungarians, Gipsies, Russians, Turks, Arabs, Moors. Caffirs, Abys- 
 sinians, Hindoos, Malays, Chinese, Japanese, Clowns and Stafary, 
 He^^-'^ws, Drunkards, Lunatics, Idiots, Misers, Rogues. 
 
 Address Orders to 
 THE DR*.wMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 
 CHICAGO. ILLilSlOIS 
 
THE 
 
 CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 AN ENTERTAINMENT IN TWO ACTS 
 
 By 
 
 MRS. HARRIET A. McCABE 
 
 Copyright 1916 
 By The Dramatic Publishing Company 
 
 CHICAGO 
 THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 

 5> 
 
 CAST OF CHARACTERS 
 
 (111 the order of their first appearance) 
 
 Peter Werkitt the colored Janitor 
 
 Mrs. I. M. Wright Chairman of Bazaar 
 
 Mrs. W. E. T. Blanquet in charge of Domestic Booth 
 
 Mrs. Kran Berry in charge of Apron Booth 
 
 Miss Lovejoy in charge of Fancywork Booth 
 
 Miss Nervette -. in charge of Candy Booth 
 
 Mrs. Duitall in charge of Lemonade Booth 
 
 Mrs. Pushington '. in charge of Doll Booth 
 
 James Mrs. Pushington 's chauffeur 
 
 Mrs. C. E. Ittick deserving her name 
 
 Miss Eay Porter on the staff of the "Morning Tribald" 
 
 Mrs. Farthington an ambitious mother 
 
 Arabella Farthington her daughter (age 16) 
 
 Mrs. Leighton in charge of Christmas Novelty Booth 
 
 EuTH Leighton her daughter (age 16) 
 
 Bessie Leighton her daughter (age 12) 
 
 Bob Mrs. Leightons ' chauffeur 
 
 Mrs. De Bussey Mrs. Pushington's mother 
 
 Mr. Pushington Mrs. Pushington's husband 
 
 Mary Pushington Mrs. Pushington's daughter (age 16) 
 
 Virginia Pushington Mrs. Pushington's daughter (age 10) 
 
 Mr. Newcomb Witherspoon the new minister 
 
 Mrs. Nev\^comb Witherspoon his wife 
 
 Mr. Hiram Hillsby from the rural district 
 
 Mrs. Hiram Hillsby his wife 
 
 Fortune Teller 
 
 Mr. Leighton Mrs. Leighton 's husband 
 
 Helen Leighton | Leighton twins (ages 6 or 8) 
 
 Josephine Leightonj *^ ^ ^ ' 
 
 Dorothy the Leighton baby (a large doll) 
 
 Minna Dorothy's nurse 
 
 Clown .^ 
 
 Other patrons of the Bazaar, ad i^ibu. .^. Ag^mf 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 Place: A suburb of Chicago. 
 Time: The Present. 
 
 ACT I. An evening in November. 
 ACT II. The morning after. 
 
 Produced in Evanston, 111., by the Foster Players, under the direc- 
 tion of the author. 
 
 Produced at Hull House, Chicago, under the direction of Laura 
 Dainty Pelham. 
 
 The acting rights of this play are reserved by the publishers, 
 and written permission must be obtained before it can be per- 
 formed. A royalty of • $5.00 is charged for each performance, 
 payable in advance. 
 
DESCRIPTION OF STAGE 
 
 The stage is set to represent a bazaar. No scenery is required, 
 as the framework for the booths can be built of cheap lumber. 
 Seven booths should be built. 
 
 Build the counters of the booths about three feet from the 
 floor, and cover the frames with green denim or cheesecloth, to 
 which can be pinned tissue or crepe paper of the desired colors. 
 Bright colors should be used. Many of the articles ''for sale" 
 can be made by covering boxes, cans, etc., of various shapes and 
 sizes with different colored tissue paper and ribbons. 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 All of the lights on the stage should he very dim. 
 When the curtain rises Peter Werkitt is discovered 
 on top of stepladder C, with hammer in hand, having 
 just finished putting up the last of the decorations. 
 He drops hammer. 
 
 Peter. I believes I must a drapped somepin! 
 
 [He descends from ladder and taJies it off stage L, 
 returning immediately. He puts two or three chairs 
 which are out on stage in Lemonade Booth, and then picks 
 up papers from floor, which he takes off stage R, return- 
 ing immediately. During the above he whistles ^' Sivanee 
 River" and occasionally scratches hi^ back with the 
 hammer.] 
 
 Peter. [Surveying the scene with doubtful compla- 
 cency.] I nevah did see so much foolishness befo'! 
 Nevah ! Ets jest a lot a crazy foolishness. Yo ' take it 
 from me, dey ain't no sense at all in dis yahr paper 
 fallutins. No, sah ! 
 
 [Enter Mrs. Wright, R, briskly, with arms full of 
 bundles.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Peter! Peter! Why are these lights 
 not up? [Goes to Lemonade Booth and puts'bundlcs on 
 table.] Don't stand there like a statue, waving that 
 hammer. Here, give it to me ; I '11 do the knocking. 
 [Takes hammer and pnts it on table, then looks at her 
 bracelet watch.] It's nearly seven o'clock and no one 
 here ; what does it — 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Rises like a phantom from the 
 Domestic Booth.] I'm here — 
 
 5 
 
6 THE CHAEITY BAZAAR 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Very much surprised, turns sud- 
 denly.] Oh, Mrs. Blanqiiet, I beg your pardon; it's so 
 dark in here I didn't see you. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [Also rimig phantom-like from the 
 Apron Booth, with her arms full of aprons.'] Yes, and 
 I'M here, too. I was here at six-thirty and not a soul 
 in this room. [Eyeing Peter severely.] Not even the 
 janitor. 
 
 Peter. Oh, I wuz here all right. Yo' jest didn't see 
 me ! I wuz in de cellah a shovelin ' in dat — 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Interrupting.] Never mind, Peter, 
 where you were. Why don 't you turn the lights up ? 
 
 Peter. Yasum, yasum. Jest gimme time. I's — 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Peremptorily.] What's the use 
 of turning the lights up until the people get here? I'm 
 sure we'll have enough to pay for without wasting 
 anything on electricity. 
 
 Peter. [Hesitates, looks at Mrs. Wright, then at 
 Mrs. Blanquet, then to Mrs. Wright.] Well, now, do 
 you still want de lights up 1 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Yes, Peter, I certainly do! 
 
 Peter. [Turns atvay, suiting action to words.] Simon 
 says ''thumbs up," Simon says ''thumbs down." 
 [Goes to switch R and turns lights up.] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Perhaps when you see we haven't 
 made expenses on this bazaar, you'll wish you'd been 
 more economical. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [With a knowing nod.] That's just 
 what I say. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Holding her hands up deprecatingly.] 
 Oh, my dear ladies, I trust we will be able to place at 
 least five hundred dollars to our credit in the bank. 
 What more worthy cause than working for the "Benevo- 
 lent Society for the Promulgation and Preservation of 
 Discouraged Infants?" 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Well, if you come out with less 
 than a hundred dollars in the hole, you may be thankful. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. That's exactly what I say. 
 
 [Enter Miss Lovejoy, R., staggering under the weight 
 
THE CHABITY BAZAAR 7 
 
 of packages, followed by Miss Nervette, ivith one small 
 package.] 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. I hope I 'm not late, but Mrs. Leighton 
 kept me waiting so long for her things. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Just like her. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. Just what I say. 
 
 Miss Nervette. Well, why did you do it? Make her 
 bring her own things, that's what I did. [She holds 
 up small paper package.] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. They'd never get here if she did. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. That's just — 
 
 Miss Nervette. [Interrupting.] Please don't ^^ ex- 
 actly say. ' ' ■ 
 
 [Mrs. Wright^ whose hack has been turned, comes 
 from Lemonade Booth, tvhere she has been arranging 
 tumblers on a tray, and assists Miss Lovejoy with pack- 
 ages.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Well, Miss Lovejoy, it is very kind 
 of you to get the things here, and I thank you and Miss 
 Nervette for your trouble. 
 
 Miss Nervette. Oh, I assure you it was no trouble 
 at all. [Retires to the Candy Booth, where she removes 
 her wraps and arranges her hair.] Miss Lovejoy dis- 
 tribulcs her packages quietly to booths before taking 
 off her wraps.] 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Enters R., with large paper bag and 
 a punch ladle.] Isn't this a fine night"? Here I am 
 with the lemons. [Holding up bag.] I ordered eight 
 dozen. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. You'll never need that many. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Surely six dozen would be more 
 than we could use. 
 
 Mrs. T^right. Well, never mind. We can return 
 what we don't use. Just put them there [Pointing to 
 Lemonade Booth.] in the booth. 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. [Enters, R., foUotved by James. 
 She carries nothing, while James has an armload of 
 bundles. Breathless.] Follow me, James, and put 
 everything just where I tell you. [Fans herself.] I 
 
8 THE CIIABirY BAZAAB 
 
 don 't see why they don 't have an elevator ; those stairs 
 took my breath away. Now, James, you stand here. 
 [Places him C. and takes packages from him.] These 
 are aprons for Mrs. Berry's booth. [Hands package to 
 Mrs. Berry.] 
 
 Mrs. Berry. Well, I don't know where I'll put 'em. 
 We have more'n we can sell now. 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. [Handinig four packages to Miss 
 Nervette.] Candy for Miss Nervette. 
 
 Miss Nervette. Oh, some of your dandy home-made 
 candy. No one can make it like you. [Takes off lid 
 and commences to eat.~\ 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Watch out for that sweet tooth, Miss 
 Nervette. 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. [Takes large box to Fancy work 
 Bofdh, lifts lid and takes out a knit shawl.'] And here's 
 the precious shawl I 've been working on for six months ! 
 [Holds it up for inspection. Mrs. Wright, Miss Love- 
 joy and Miss Nervette come forward and examine it.] 
 No one dreams how many hours I've spent on this. It 
 ought to bring at least twenty-five dollars. [Mrs. Blan- 
 quet and Mrs. Berry go and look at shawl, over shoid- 
 ders of Miss Lovejoy and Miss Nervette.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. ] fit's perfectly lovely. 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. ^[Together] ^What lovely work! 
 
 Miss Nervette. J [I wouldn 't mind hav- 
 
 ing it. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Turning away in disgust.] I think 
 it's a waste of time. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [Same business.] Just what I say. 
 
 [Miss Lovejoy and Miss Nervette drape shawl across 
 front of Fancywork Booth, standing on chairs in order 
 to put shawl where it can be seen. The other ladies 
 return to their booths.] 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. And here are many things for 
 Mrs. Leighton's booth. [Turns to Christmas Booth.] 
 Why, where is she? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. Where is she? Where is she always? 
 Late. 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 9 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Looking over her glasses.] Never 
 on time. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Oh, she is coming soon, I'm sure. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. So is Christmas. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. And so is New Year's. 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. [Places packages on counter of 
 Chnstmas Booth, and returns to James, who has been 
 standing like a statue, — takes basket from him.] And 
 here's some jelly for Mrs. Blanquet 's booth, from Mrs. 
 Witherspoon. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Comes from her booth and takes 
 basket. Takes out glass of jelly and holds it up to the 
 light.] Crabapple — I do hope it's stiff enough. Her 
 jellies never are. [Returns to her booth.] 
 
 Mrs. Berry. She never uses enough sugar. 
 
 Miss Nervette. Some people never do. 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. Come, now, James, and put the 
 dolls here. [Indicating Doll Booth.] And, James, re- 
 turn to the house and bring mother and the girls here 
 as soon as you can. [James starts to leave but returns 
 ivhen she calls to him.] Oh, James! stop at the Five 
 and Ten Cent Store and get a ball of cord, unless Mrs. 
 Blanquet has some to spare. [Picks up ball of cord at 
 Domestic Booth.] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. I don't expect to have any more 
 than I shall use for my own booth. 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. [Puts cord back on counter of 
 Domestic Booth.] Very well ! James, please stop, then, 
 and get back as soon as you can. [She hands him several 
 empty baskets.] 
 
 James. Yessum. 
 
 [Enter Mrs. Ittick, R., overdressed. James starts to 
 back out to exit R. and bumps into her.] 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. [Surveying James with lorgnette.] How 
 very awkward. I might have been injured. 
 
 James. Excuse me ; I didn 't see you. [Exit R.] 
 
 [Enter Peter, L., carrying large box on his shoulder, 
 and bumps into Mrs. Ittick.] 
 
10 THE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. I thought this was a bazaar; it's more 
 like an express office. 
 
 Peter. Beg pahdon, Madam. Yo' didn't see me. 
 [Exit R.] 
 
 [Miss Lovejoy, standing on chair in front of Doll 
 Booth, is fixing garland of paper festoons. Lets go of 
 it just in time for it to fall on Mrs. Ittick.] 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. Heaven help ns. This is worse than 
 crossing State Street. 
 
 Miss Love,joy. Oh, please excuse me ; I couldn 't 
 help it. 
 
 Miss Nervette. Step up, madam, hold on to the 
 rope. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Oh, Mrs. Ittick, do pardon the con- 
 fusion. 
 
 Miss Nervette. She's more likely to confuse the 
 pardons. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Why don't people look where 
 they're going? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. That's just what I say. 
 Mrs. Pushington. [Conies from Doll Booth and goes 
 to Mrs. Ittick.] Oh, I'm so glad to see you, Mrs. Ittick. 
 Doesn't everything look beautiful? 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. [Surveying the hazaar.'] Don't you 
 think that the coloring is a — a — too vivid? It hurts my 
 eyes. If you had kept the decorations in monotones, 
 don't you think the effect would have been more pleas- 
 ing? [All the ladies shrug shoulders and turn their 
 hacks.] 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. That depends on one's point of 
 view, but you are not asked to buy the decorations. 
 [Takes Mrs. Ittick 's arm.'] Just come and see what 
 lovely dolls we have. [Both go to Doll Booth. Mrs. 
 Pushington picks up doll.] Let me sell you this one. 
 It's an imported doll from Paris. My sister brought it 
 over specially for this bazaar. She paid fifteen francs 
 for it there ; it 's really worth — 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. [Interrupting.] What did you say it 
 cost? 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 11 
 
 Miss Nervette. [Interrupting.] Three dollars in 
 American brogue. 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. [Paying no attention to the inter- 
 ruption.'] It's really worth much more; besides, having 
 smuggled it, she didn't have to pay any duty. You can 
 buy it now for eight dollars. Isn't that reasonable? 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. [Examining doll.] No, I should not call 
 that reasonable. A knowledge of the price doesn't neces- 
 sarily mean an understanding of the value. I'm sure 
 I could purchase one just as good for two ninety-eight. 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. Oh, but that would be an Ameri- 
 can doll. 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. Well, I'm an American, you're an 
 American, everyone here is an American. Why not buy 
 an American doll, — if it can save one five dollars? 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. Evidently you believe in a pro- 
 tective tariff. 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. Be that as it may, I do believe in 
 woman suffrage. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Heaven knows we're suffering 
 enough. 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. [With blue stocking hag in hand, ap- 
 proaches Mrs. Ittick.] Now here is something that was 
 made in America. No tariff. No protection. No 
 suffrage. Just plain creton, at fifteen cents a yard, 
 one and a half yards; you may have the bag for tAvo 
 dollars. 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. No, I don't care for a blue one; if it 
 were a pink one I might take it; besides, I'm going to 
 wait till everything is marked down before I buy any- 
 thing. 
 
 Miss Nervette. Show her your down pillows. 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. I'm hunting for bargains. 
 
 Miss Nervette. This is no place to come, then. 
 
 Mrs.' Ittick. I intend to wait till everything is 
 reduced. 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. Come, see what we have in the Fancy- 
 work Booth. 
 
12 THE CHABITY*BAZAAB 
 
 [Mrs. Pushington remains in front of Doll Booth. 
 Mrs. Ittick and Miss Lovejoy go to Fancywork Booth. 
 Enter Miss Porter, R., pad in one hand and pencil in 
 other. She pauses before Fancywork Booth.] 
 
 Miss Porter. [To Miss Lovejoy.] Is Mrs. Wright 
 here? 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. Yes, I think so. 
 
 Miss Porter. I'd like to see her, please. 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. [Points to Apron Booth.] I think 
 you will find her right over there. 
 
 Miss Porter. Thank you. [She goes to Apron Booth.] 
 
 Miss Porter. [To Mrs. Berry.] Are you Mrs. 
 Wright ? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. Well, I should say not; do I look like 
 her? 
 
 Miss Porter. Never having seen her, I can't say. 
 I 'm a stranger and w^ould like to see Mrs. Wright. Will 
 you kindly tell me where I can find her? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [Giving an indefinite wave of her arm 
 which takes in the whole area of the room.] Over there 
 somewhere. 
 
 Miss Porter. [Looks at her complacently^.] Thank 
 you very much. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [Follows her with curious eyes.] I'd 
 just like to know what she wants with Mrs. Wright. 
 [Stands with elbows on the counter entirely engrossed 
 in finding out.] 
 
 Miss Porter. [Goes to Domestic Booth, outside of 
 which Mrs. Blanquet is busy arranging things on 
 counter.] I'm hunting for Mrs. Wright; can you tell 
 me where she is? 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Looking all over room.] Well, 
 she was around here just a moment ago, but I don't see 
 her now, but I — 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. [Comes forward.] What is it, 
 please? 
 
 Miss Porter. Oh, are you Mrs. Wright? 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. Well — no, but perhaps I will an- 
 swer just as well. 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 13 
 
 Miss Porter. No, I was told to see Mrs. Wright. I 'm 
 a repQrter from the "Tribald." 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. Well, I 'm Mrs. Pushington, Presi- 
 dent of the Woman's Sewing Circle of the "Benevolent 
 Society for the Promulgation and Preservation of Dis- 
 couraged Infants, ' ' but I 'm very busy just now, getting 
 things ready and you'll have to excuse me. 
 
 Miss Porter. Mrs. Wright is the lady I wish to see. 
 [Everyone is busy working in their own booths and take 
 no notiee of her. Mrs. Wright comes from Lemonade 
 Booth, takes seat in front of table and begins to write. 
 Miss Porter goes to C, and looks arotmd.] The Chair- 
 man of a Charity Bazaar seems more difficult to locate 
 than a fleeing cashier in Canada. 
 
 Miss Nervette. [Goes to Miss Porter and takes her 
 coat sleeve famHiarly.'] You seem to have difficulty in 
 landing ; shall I show you where to dock ? • 
 
 Miss Porter. Sure thing! Is there a Mrs. Wright 
 running this ''shebang"? If so, where is she? 
 
 Miss Nervette. There is and she is right here. [Goes 
 to Mrs. Wright and touches her shoulder.] Mrs. 
 Wright, here is a lady who wishes to speak to you. 
 
 Miss Porter. [Takes Miss Nervette 's /latid] Thank 
 you. [Miss Nervette goes back to her booth, and Miss 
 Porter turns to Mrs. Wright.] I'm Miss Porter of the 
 "Tribald," sent to interview you about this bazaar. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Couldn't you see me tomorrow; I'm 
 very busy just now ? 
 
 Miss Porter. It will be stale news tomorrow. I 
 thought perhaps I could obtain your photograph to put 
 at the head of the article. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Her whole attitude changing.'] Oh, 
 just sit down, please. I'll spare you a few moments. 
 [They sit in front of Lemonade Booth, chatting in panto- 
 mime. Miss Porter making many notes.] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Approaches curiously, with cake.] 
 Pardon me, Mrs. Wright; shall I take this cake into 
 your booth now? 
 
14 THE CHABITT bazaar 
 
 [Mrs. Wright is too ahsorhed to hear and does not 
 turn around until Miss Porter speaks.^ 
 
 Miss Porter. There's someone who wants to take the 
 cake. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Looks over her shotdder.'] Pardon 
 me, Mrs. Blanqnet, but I'm busy just now. I'll see 
 you just as soon as I've finished this interview. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Crosses to R., Apron Booth — to Mrs. 
 Berry.] Did you ever hear the like of that? She re- 
 fused to answer a civil question just now because she 
 happened to be talking to a stranger. Who is it, I'd 
 like to know? 
 
 Mrs. Berry, She's wasting her time on a reporter, 
 when she ought to be attending to business, but what 
 won't a woman do to get her picture in the paper. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. You would probably have to take a 
 patent medicine. [She returns to her hooth.'] 
 
 Mrs. Berry, [thoughtfully.] What did she mean 
 by that? I'm sure I never took patent medicines. 
 
 [Enter Mrs. Farthington R., followed hy Arabella, 
 shrinking timidly.] 
 
 Mrs. Farthington, [Very much flustrated and talk- 
 ing to everyone in general.'] Oh I hope Arabella isn't 
 late. Our machine broke down again. [To ARABEiiLA.] 
 Do stand — 
 
 Mrs. Berry , 1 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet \ [Together.] AGAIN! 
 
 Miss Nervette J 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. [Ignoring interruption.] Do 
 stand up straight Arabella? Acquire some dignity. 
 [Goes to Domestic Booth.] Oh, how do you do Mrs. 
 Blanquet ? Where is Mrs. Wright ? She has Arabella 's 
 cap and Arabella can't sell her flowers without her cap.' 
 Do stand up, Arabella ! 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. She 's being interviewed. Come back 
 toinorrow morning. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [Pointing to Mrs. Wright.] She's hav- 
 ing her picture taken ; you can have the proofs tomor- 
 row. 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 15 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. [Pushing Arabella toward Mrs. 
 Wright.] It doesn't make any difference Arabella must 
 have her cap. Go ask for it. 
 
 Arabella. [Returns to C ; timidly approaches Mrs. 
 Wright.] Mrs. Wright I hope, I am ah — ^not — ah — not 
 — ah — disturbing you, but Mother says — 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Looks at Arabella over her shoulder.'] 
 Oh, it's you, Arabella? You will have to wait. [Waves 
 her hand.] 
 
 Arabella. [Retreats to her mother, C] She says, 
 that I'll— 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. It doesn't make any difference 
 what she says, you listen to what I say ; your cap is there. 
 [Points dramatically to Mrs. Wright.] Get it at once 
 as I told you to do. 
 
 Arabella. ''But Mother—" 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. [Interrupting her.] "Don't 
 Mother me, do as I say." 
 
 Arabella. [A g ai n approaches Mrs. Wright.] 
 "Mother says—" 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Impatiently.] Mrs. Duitall, please 
 see what this child wishes. 
 
 [Mrs. Duitall comes from Lemonade Booth. She is 
 wcanng a kitchen apron and carries a knife in one hand 
 and a lemon in the other. She goes to Arabella who has 
 retreated to C] 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. Well, if it ain't Arabella, almost in 
 tears. Mrs. Wright can't say a word to any one just 
 now, so what can I do for you? 
 
 Arabella. Why Mother says, she says — 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. [Intennipting.] Say it your- 
 self, you know what you wish. 
 
 Arabella. [Points helplessly to her head.] CAP ! 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. Blessings on your head, just be patient 
 and I will get it for you. [She goes to Lemonade Booth.] 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. [Enters R, followed hy Ruth and 
 Bessie Leighton, and Bob, all carrying packages.] I 
 do wonder if we have everything, we came away in such 
 a hurry. 
 
16 THE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 Ruth Leighton. [Entci-mg.'] I don't see how we 
 could cany any more. 
 
 Bessie Leighton. [Entermg.'] I didn't gc^ +o eat 
 my ice cream. 
 
 Bob. [Entering.'] It isn't my fault if we are late. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Heaven help us, here comes 
 Christmas — 
 
 Mrs. Berry. — and New Year's. 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. [Leans on counter of booth. She 
 talks hreathlessly hehind her packages.'] Well I'm glad 
 we're on time after all. Now Bob you put all those 
 things behind there [Points to booth.] and hurry home 
 and bring the rest of the family. Ruth put your things 
 on the counter and Bessie hang your wraps in the booth. 
 [Arabella helps Ruth and Bessie, while Mrs. Far- 
 thington goes to Candy Booth and buys a box of 
 candy.] I've been in the city all day and have such a 
 raging headache. 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. [Goes to Christmas Booth and 
 looks around anxiously.] Where is Arabella's cap? 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. [Holding her temples.] I haven't 
 Arabella's cap, but where is Mrs. Wright? 
 
 Arabella. [Coming out of Christmas Booth.] Oh, 
 Mrs. Leighton, she's over there, [Shrinking.] but don't 
 go near her. 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. And pray, why shouldn't I go near 
 her? Has she the smallpox? 
 
 Arabella. Oh she has something lots worse than the 
 smallpox and can't speak a word to anyone. 
 
 [Mrs, Farthington grabs Arabella's arm and takes 
 her to Doll Booth, scolding her in pantomime.] 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. Mercy on us. That sounds like 
 paralysis. [To her dmighters in Christmas Booth.] 
 Girls, did you hear the news? Poor Mrs. Wright must 
 have had a stroke. [She goes into booth.] 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Comes from Lemonade Booth with 
 paper package. She goes to C, opens package and takes 
 out a cap.] Come Arabella, here's your cap. 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 17 
 
 Arabella. [Rims to Mrs. Duitall.] My cap ! [She 
 takes it.] 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. Now I'll get your flowers. [Disap- 
 pears again in Lemonade Booth.] 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. [To Mrs. Blanquet.] That Farthing- 
 ton girl certainly lacks repose. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Taps her forehead.] Lacking here, 
 too. 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. [Goes to C with Miss Nervette.] 
 Now you arrange Arabella's cap. I know she will look 
 so well in a cap. 
 
 _ Miss Nervette. [Pounces the cap over Arabella's 
 ears and chucks her under the chin.] Perfectly capti- 
 vating. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Comes from Lemonade Booth with 
 tray of flowers.] Now you will be all fixed, Arabella. 
 
 Miss Nervette. [Takes tray from Mrs. Duitall, and 
 together they place the rihhon around Arabella's 7ieck.] 
 Behold thy star and garter! 
 
 [Arabella looks at her mother , timidly. Following 
 shows arrangement of characters: 
 
 Arabella 
 Miss Nervette Mrs. Duitall 
 Mrs. Farthington Mrs. Ittick 
 
 Mrs. Berry Mrs. Blanquet.] 
 
 Mrs. Duitall [Confidentially.] We got these flowers 
 at such a wonderful bargain. They were left overs and 
 the florist sold them at half price. I made them into 
 twenty bunches. Now Arabella, you are to sell each 
 bunch for fifty cents. 
 
 Arabella. [Looks around and repeats stupidly.] 
 Bargains? Left overs? Fifty cents apiece? 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. Let me be the first to buy Ara- 
 bella. [They exchange flowers for money.] 
 
 Miss Nervette. [To Mrs. Berry.] That's a regular 
 hold up. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [To Miss Nervette.] That's just what 
 I say. 
 
18 THE CHARITY BAZAAB 
 
 [They return to their 'booths.'] 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. [To Mrs. Blanquet.] I don't approve 
 of such methods. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [To Mrs. Ittick.] Is there any- 
 thing of which you do approve? [They go to Domestic 
 Booth.] 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. [Pins houquet on her dress.] 
 Now Arabella, we will expect you to sell all of these 
 flowers. 
 
 Arabella. Then you will have to buy them all, 
 Mamma. [They go to fancy work 'booth.] 
 
 [Enter Peter R., carrying a large load of packages.] 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. [Runs out of Chnstmas Novelty 
 Booth and accidentally knocks Peter down, the pack- 
 ages scattering in all directions.] Oh, Peter, why don't 
 you look where you're going. I hope nothing is broken. 
 [Goes to Apron Booth.] 
 
 Peter. [On his knees.] Nuthin' unless it's my poh 
 back. [He picks packages up and leaves them at Do- 
 mestic Booth, exits L.] 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. [To Mrs. Berry.] Do tell me about 
 Mrs. Wright. Who w^ill we get to take her place? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. There 's nothing wrong with Mrs. Wright, 
 her place is taken pretty well just now, don't you think? 
 Been wasting her time on that reporter for half an 
 hour. [Mrs. Wright and Miss Porter iise and shake 
 hands.] Thank goodness she's going.. I suppose the 
 Tribald will get out an extra tomorrow. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Won't you remain and look around? 
 
 Miss Porter. No, thank you, I must get back to the 
 office. 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. [Crosses to Mrs. Wright and falls 
 on her shoidder.] Oh, Mrs. Wright I am so glad you are 
 still alive. 
 
 Miss Porter. [Amused.] Why shouldn't she be 
 alive? Did you think I'd eaten her up? 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. [Disregarding questions — to Mrs. 
 Wright.] Oh, after all I've heard I thought you would 
 be paralyzed. [Clings to her, and pats her on the back.] 
 
. THE CHARITY BAZAAR 19 
 
 Miss Porter, [hisulted.] Well, never before have I 
 endured such insinuations. Good evening, ladies. 
 [Starts to exit B.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Tnes to detain her.'] But Miss Por- 
 ter, surely you misunderstand. [Mrs. Leighton takes 
 her arm and pulls her into Lemonade Booth.] 
 
 Arabella. [To Miss Porter.] Won't you buy a 
 bouquet for fifty cents? 
 
 Miss Porter. [Pushes her away.] Reporters have 
 no use for bouquets, except to throw them at other 
 people. 
 
 Arabella. Well, you could throw this at any one. 
 
 Miss Nervette. [To Miss Porter.] Have one on me. 
 [Offers candy which Miss Porter tales. They lock arms 
 and exit R.] 
 
 [E7iter Peter^ L.] ' 
 
 Arabella. [To Peter.] Won't you buy an as is? 
 
 Peter. A what is? 
 
 Arabella. An as is. A left over for fifty cents. 
 
 Peter. I ain't got no fifty cents. 
 
 Arabella. Oh, but these are such bargains. 
 
 Peter. I ain't got no money for no bargains or no 
 nothin'. [Starts toward L.] 
 
 Arabella. [Takes hold of his coat.] Oh, please, 
 Peter — ■ [They exit L.] 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. [Who has observed Arabella's 
 familiarity, follows them.] Arabella ! Arabella ! What 
 does that child mean? Arabella ! Arabella ! [Exits L.] 
 
 [Enter Mrs. DeBussy, Mr. Pushington, Mary and 
 Virginia Pushington, R. Mrs. Pushington goes to 
 meet them. Miss Lovejoy accidentally drops several tin 
 boxes on the floor.] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Crosses to Apron Booth — to Mrs. 
 Berry.] Did you hear what she called her child? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. I'd like to know how you expect me to 
 hear anything in all this confusion. [Becoming inter- 
 ested.] What did she call her ? 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Mean — a mean child! 
 
[Together, pointing at her.'] Yes, 
 Arabella, how could you? 
 
 20 THE CHARITf BAZAAR 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Comes from Lemonade Booth with 
 Mrs. Leighton.] This is all a lot of foolishness. 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. But Arabella told me distinctly that 
 you had a stroke of apoplexy. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Impossible! How dare she? 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. She's a very daring child. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. When her own Mother says she's a 
 mean, horrid child, what can you expect? 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. [Enters L.; preceded hy Ara- 
 bella, led hy ear to 0.] The very idea, how could you, 
 Arabella ? 
 
 Mrs. Wright 
 
 Mrs. Berry 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet 
 
 Mrs. Leighton 
 
 [FoUoumig is the arrangement of characters: 
 
 Arabella 
 
 Mrs. Farthington 
 Mrs. Leighton Mrs. Blanquet 
 
 Mrs. Berry Mrs. Wright.] 
 
 Miss Nervette. ^[Enters R.; hurriedly.'] Is every- 
 thing ready? Here comes the new minister! [General 
 commotion is caused hy this announcement. Enter Mr. 
 and Mrs. Witherspoon, R. Mrs. Berry and Mrs. Blan- 
 quet return to their booths, but all of the other ladies, 
 after pyimping up their hair and dresses, rush to Mr. 
 Witherspoon and pull him down C, leaving Mrs. 
 Witherspoon alone and unnoticed, up J?.] 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. [Holding up his hands.] Ladies ! 
 Ladies ! 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. We are so delighted to have you 
 with us. [Pushes Arabella forward.] Say you are de- 
 lighted, Arabella. 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. [Shakes hands with her and then 
 with Arabella.] Very delighted to see you, Mrs. Far- 
 thington. How do you do, Arabella? 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. [To Mr. Witherspoon.] I meant 
 to have James bring you in the car. 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAB 21 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. [Shaking hands.] That would 
 have been pleasant. 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. [Shaking hands with him.] You're 
 going to" make a speech, aren't you? 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. Not tonight. 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. [Pushes the others away and shakes 
 hands with him.] Give the poor man air! 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. Thank you, Mrs. Ittick, I am 
 quite comfortable. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Rushes from Lemonade Booth, with 
 chair which she offers to him.] Do be seated, Mr. Wither- 
 spoon, r know you must be tired. 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. No, thank you, I prefer to stand. 
 
 Miss Nervette. [Offe7%ng him candy!] Sweets to the 
 sweet ! 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. No, thank you, not this evening. 
 
 Arabella. [Who has heen endeavoring to get up 
 enough courage to speak to him.] Please buy a bargain. 
 Fifty-cent Left overs — as — ises — 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. What kind of flowers? 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. Arabella, will you never learn? 
 [She pulls her toward Domestic Booth and Arabella 
 humps into Mrs. Wright, ivho is carrying a glass of 
 lemonade.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Oh, Arabella! [Hands glass to Mr. 
 Witherspoon.] Do have some lemonade, Mr. Wither- 
 spoon. 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. [Takes glass.] Thank you, I am 
 quite thirsty. [He picks up chair and goes into Lemon- 
 ade Booth, with Mrs. Wright.] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. That was w^orse than a Monday 
 morning in Field's basement. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. More like the rush hour on the ele- 
 vated. 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. [First to notice Mrs. Witherspoon.] 
 Oh— Why — [Hesitates.] We are^ so glad to see you 
 here, Mrs. Witherspoon. 
 
 Mrs. Witherspoon. [Glancing toward Lemonade 
 Booth.] Yes, I'm glad I came. 
 
22^ THE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. Do come and see our new fancy bags. 
 [They go to Fancy work Booth, and Mrs. Ittick joins 
 them. there.~\ 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. [^Comes from Domestic Booth, 
 holding Arabella firmly by the arm.] Come, Arabella, 
 and let me select an apron for you. [They go to Apron 
 Booth. Mrs. Farthington huys an apron and ties it on 
 Arabella.] 
 
 [Enter Mr. and Mrs. Hiram Hillsby, B.'] 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. Now Elmiry, let me jest git you a lit- 
 tle chocolate sody water, an ' you '11 never know thet you 
 climbed them there stairs. [He goes to Christmas Booth 
 and Mrs. Hillsby and Mrs. Witherspoon converse in 
 pantomime.'] 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. [To Mrs. Leighton.] Well, good 
 evenin' to you, Mrs. Santy Claus. You can jest hear 
 them sleighbells a ringin' when you look in here. Ain't 
 got no sody water here have you? 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. No, Mr. Hillsby, but we have most 
 everything else. 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. [To Mrs. Berry.] Ain't you got no 
 sody water, neither, Mrs. Berry? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. No, we ain't, but we have some fine 
 aprons to sell. Now here is one that will just fit your 
 wife for a dollar and a quarter. 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. My wife for a dollar and a quarter? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. No, I mean the apron. 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. Why, of course it will. Jest wrap it 
 up an' I'll take it along. [He hands money to Mrs. 
 Berry, and examines things in the booth. As soon as he 
 receives the package, he gradually works his way to the 
 Lemonade Booth, stopping at the other booths and talks 
 in pantomime, with ladies in charge.] 
 
 [Enter Fortime Teller, R.] 
 
 Fortune Teller. Fortunes told! Fortunes told! 
 Come into my booth and have your fortunes told ! [She 
 goes to C. and is immediately surrounded by the Leigh- 
 ton and Pushington girls.] 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 23 
 
 EuTH Leighton 
 Bessie Leighton 
 Mary Pushington 
 Virginia Pushington 
 
 Oh, look, girls. 
 
 Here comes the 
 
 fortune teller. 
 
 {Together.'] ■{ Fortune teller, 
 
 goody. 
 
 Do tell our 
 
 fortunes. 
 
 Fortune Teller. One at a time, please. {Takes 
 Ruth Leighton 's hmids.'] You will never have a hus- 
 band. 
 
 Ruth Leighton. Horrid old thing. {Goes into 
 Christmas booth, pouting.] 
 
 Fortune Teller. {Takes Mary Pushington 's hand.] 
 You will escape fire, wreck and death and marry Prince 
 Charming. 
 
 Mary Pushington. Oh, come, girls, let's go in. 
 
 Fortune Teller. {Takes Bessie Leighton 's ha^id.] 
 Ah, what a hand! You will be very rich. 
 
 Bessie Leighton. Oh goody, goody, girls. 
 
 Fortune Teller. {Takes Arabbij^a^ 8 hand.] You'll 
 be a great opera singer. 
 
 Arabella. {Shrinking.] Oh, I don't want to be! 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. {Comes C] But Arabella, that's 
 exactly what I wish you to be. 
 
 {They both retire talking in pantomime, and join Mrs. 
 Ittick and Mrs. Witherspoon.] 
 
 Fortune Teller. {Takes Virginia Pushington 's 
 hand.] And you will have great sorrow. 
 
 Virginia Pushington. {Slaps Fortune Teller's 
 hand, breaks into tears, and rivns to her mother in Doll 
 Booth.] I don't like her, she told me I was going to be 
 sorry. 
 
 [Fortune Teller exits L., folloived by Mary Push- 
 ington and Bessie Leighton, arm in arm, giggling. En- 
 ter Mr. Leighton, R.; followed by Helen and Jose- 
 phine Leighton, also Minna carrying Dorothy Leigh- 
 ton.] 
 
 Mr. Leighton. Come now, children, and let me take 
 off your wraps. 
 
24 TRE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 [Mrs. Leighton and Ruth, go to Doll Booth. Mr. 
 Leighton join^ the men, and the children play ad lib 
 without making any noise, during the various speeches. 
 All of the ladies admire the Leighton hahy.] 
 
 Mr. HiLLSBY. [At Lemonade Booth.] It's here you're 
 servin ' drinks is it ? "Well, I had my mind set on a choco- 
 late sody, but your sign don 't read that way, so if you '11 
 just hand out two lemonades, please. [Gives her ten 
 cents.] 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Hands him two glasses.] Twenty 
 cents, please. 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. For two glasses? 
 Mrs. Duitall. Yes, it's ten cents a glass. 
 Mr. Hillsby. Ain't that pretty steep? [Gives her 
 another ten cents.] 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Taking money.] Not at a fair. 
 Mr. Hillsby. It jest gets me why they caU a place 
 like this — fair. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. Then call it a bazaar. 
 Mr. Hillsby. I think that's a better name fer it, but 
 I could make a dozen glasses this size, to hum fer twenty 
 cents. [Starts towards Mrs. Hillsby hut is intercepted 
 by Arabella.] 
 
 Arabella. Won't you please buy a bargain for fifty 
 cents, they are left overs and — 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. [Interrupting.] I certainly will, if 
 you will pin it on my coat. My hands are full. 
 Arabella. Oh, I haven't any pins. 
 Mr. Hillsby. Just look inside the lapel of my coat 
 and you'll find one. Elmira's always needin' pins, so 
 I alius keep a good supply. 
 
 Arabella. [Timidly lifts np the cornier of his coat.] 
 I don't see any. 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. [Endeavoring to point with his chin.] 
 Right here. 
 
 Arabella. [Turns back his coat and puts her hand 
 up.] Oh, I see. 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. fNoticing Arabella's supposed 
 familiarity, screams.] Arabella ! 
 
THE CHABITY BAZAAR 25 
 
 [Arabella jumps, spilling some of the flowers and 
 some of Mr. Hillsby's lemonade. Mrs. Hillsby runs to 
 him and takes glasses, putting one of them on eounter 
 of Faneyw'ork Booth. Miss Nervette drinks it. Mr. 
 Hillsby gets on floor on hands and knees and picks up 
 flowers, which lie puts on tray.'] 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. Arabella, your familiarity will 
 certainly breed contempt. How dare you rifle a man's 
 pockets in public? 
 
 Arabella. I wasn't rifling his pockets. He wanted 
 a pin. 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. "Well, for goodness sake, take all 
 I have [Rands her the hat pins from her hat.], but don't 
 look like a pickpocket before everybody. [They both 
 go to Lemonade Booth.] 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. [To Mrs. Hillsby.] Where's my 
 lemonade ? 
 
 Mrs. Hillsby. [Poi^its to Fancywork Booth.] There. 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. [Picks up empty glass and looks in- 
 side.] "Well, I'll be jiggered. 
 
 Miss Love joy. [Goes to Mr. Hillsby, holds up crea- 
 tion of lace and ribbons.] Mr. Hillsby, I know your 
 wife would like this — ah — this — ah — 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. Well, what is it? 
 
 Miss Love joy. It's a fancy article. 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. Well, ain't it got a name? 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. Why, of course it has a name ; every- 
 thing has a name. 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. Well, what do you call it? 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. Really, I don 't know exactly, but you 
 could use it for a pen wiper or a tea-cozy. 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. [Stupidly regarding her and then the 
 article.] But I don't use either. 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. You might use it to scent your neck- 
 ties. [Holding it to his nose; he shakes his head.] See, 
 it's scented, or it might be used for a tobacco pouch. 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. Now, why didn't you tell me that 
 before? When I get through with it for a tobacco 
 
26 THE CHARIIW BAZAAR 
 
 pouch, then Elmira can use it to smell her handker- 
 chiefs. How much is it ? 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. Only two dollars and a quarter; you 
 see the ribbons are real silk. 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. Yes, yes. [Feeling ribhons.] I'll take 
 it. [Hands her hill.] Can you change five dollars? 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. You know I haven't any change, and 
 sometimes people don 't ask for any change ; but if you 
 will come back in an hour, perhaps I will have some. 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. [To Arabella in front of Lemo- 
 nade Booth.] How many flowers have you sold, Ara- 
 bella? 
 
 Arabella. [Frightened.] Why, you bought one and 
 I sold another, but you wouldn't let me get my money 
 for it. 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. It's your method of obtaining 
 the money to which I object. Do I wish a daughter of 
 mine to go around a Charity Bazaar with her hands in 
 people 's pockets, resembling a common pickpocket ? 
 Never! The name of Farthington must go do^^^l in 
 history untarnished! To save our family honor I will 
 buy all your flowers. Now, when no one is looking put 
 them all in my bag. [Talking and laughter is general 
 and the children play and romp during the following 
 action. Mrs. Farthington stands in front of Arabella, 
 holding open hag hehind her, while she crams as many 
 of the flowers into hag as it will hold and turns in 
 despair looking for a place to dispose of the remainder. 
 Seeing lemonade hucket in hooth, she places it on floor 
 and dumps flowers into it, hides her tray and cli'ttgs to 
 her mother ^s arm.] 
 
 Mr. Pushington. [Holding Mr. Witherspoon 's arm, 
 comes doion stage with him from Candy Booth, followed 
 hy all of PtJSHiNGTON family.] That's very true, Mr. 
 Witherspoon ; I agree with you there ; but the question 
 is, do you believe in playing golf on Sunday? 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. Now, that's a question that can 
 hardly be answered in an off-hand manner; of course, 
 if a man goes to church in the morning and — 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 27 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. [Interrupting.'] Well, if he plays 
 golf on Sunday, I don't see what harm there is if I play 
 bridge. 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. Well, really, Mrs. Pushington, 
 that is quite a different question, you see — 
 
 Mary Pushington. [I7iterrupti7ig.] Well, if mother 
 plays bridge, I don't see why I can't play tennis. 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. You see the example. 
 
 Virginia Witherspoon. [Interrupting.] If she plays 
 tennis, why can't I play croquet? 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon 
 
 Mrs. Pushington Mr. Pushington 
 
 Virginia Pushington. Mary Pushington. 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. Well, now, really, this looks like 
 a series of questions, and if you'll just — 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. [Ijiterrnpting.] It is a serious 
 question, very serious! 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. [Hopelessly.] But you don't un- 
 derstand; it's a question of ethics, of morals, one that 
 re(iuires deep — 
 
 Mr. Pushington. [Inierriipting.] It's a question of 
 golf. 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. It's a question of bridge. 
 
 Mary Pushington. It's a question of tennis. 
 
 Virginia Pushington. It's a question of croquet. 
 
 [Bessie Leighton screams off stage, L. Pushington 
 family su7^round Mr. Witherspoon, and all gy^adually 
 make their way into Lemonade Booth.] 
 
 Bessie Leighton. [Enters. L., runs toward Christmas 
 Booth, screaming at the top of her voice.] Mother! 
 Mother! She says my husband's going to be killed in 
 an airship. 
 
 [Enter Fortune Teller and Mary Pushington, L.] 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. [Cotnes from booth to meet Bessie.] 
 Never mind, darling. Wait till you get one. [Both 
 retire into Christmas Booth.] 
 
 [All of the characters are now on the stage — passing 
 from one booth to another. Laughter and conversation 
 
28 THE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 is general. The children play tag and call hack and 
 forth to each other. Characters should keep well dis- 
 tributed. Only one in each booth, so the bazaar will 
 have the appearance of being well attended. Mrs. 
 Wright comes from Lemonade Booth and endeavors to 
 make an announcement.'] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Ladies and gentlemen — \General con- 
 versation and laughter drowns her voice.] — ladies and 
 gentlemen, will you please come to order — [No attention 
 is paid to her; she motions to Mrs. Duitall in Lemonade 
 Booth, who goes to her. They hold, a consultation. Mrs. 
 Duitall goes to Mr. Witherspoon in Lemonade Booth, 
 who comes to front of booth with chair and mounts it. 
 Makes announcement in deep sepulchral tones.] / 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. [Clapping his hands to attract 
 attention.'] Ladies and gentlemen, kindly refrain from 
 undue levity for a moment, as Mrs. Wright, the chair- 
 man of this most successful bazaar, has an announcement 
 which she wishes to make known to you. [Everyone 
 looks around with approval and applauds.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Bowing as if the applause were for 
 her.] Ladies and gentlemen [Wipes her mouth in em- 
 barrassment.], I would like to take this opportunity 
 to — ^to — [Pause.] — This is a joyous occasion upon which 
 — upon which — [Pause.] — As I said before, we are all 
 most happy to — to — [Coughing.] — No one can fail to 
 realize how — ^how — [Pause.] — but as I said before — 
 [She takes paper from her pocket and begins reading in 
 a stiff, formal voice.] I wish to announce to you a pro- 
 gram for the evening, the first number on which will 
 be a duet by Miss Pushington and Miss Lovejoy. 
 
 [Characters selected for the duet should be ones who 
 are not good singers, but the accompaniest must he a 
 pianist.] 
 
 Helen Leighton. [To Mrs. Leighton, in front of 
 Apron Booth.] Mother, please give me a quarter to 
 buy a box of candy. 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. Go ask father. 
 
 [Helen Leighton runs to Mr. Leighton, obtains 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAB 29 
 
 money y goes to Candy Booth, returns to Mrs. Leighton, 
 hugging box of candy. Misses Pushington and Love- 
 joy come down stage nervously fixing their hair.] 
 
 Miss Pushington. [To Miss Love joy.] Where is 
 the music? 
 
 Miss Love joy. [Surprised.] I haven't it; you said 
 you'd bring it. 
 
 Miss Pushington. Well, then, I must have forgotten 
 it. What shall we do? Maybe Miss Nervette has it. 
 [Both go to piano in Lemonade Booth, and while they, 
 are hunting for the music, conversation and laughter is 
 general. They come out with music and stand embar- 
 rassed at the general confusion. ]\Irs. Wright whispers 
 to girls and tries to make herself heard.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Ladies and gentlemen — [Voice is 
 drowned in tumult.] — ladies and gentlemen — [Mrs. 
 DuiTALL whispers to Mr. Witherspoon, who again 
 mounts chair and claps hands.] 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. Ladies and gentlemen, when 
 order is restored we will listen to the first number on 
 the program for this evening. [He dismounts chair 
 sedately, and Misses Pushington and Love joy step for- 
 ward. Loud accompaniment hegins. They sing "Oh, 
 that we two were Maying, ^^ or some other duet, in high, 
 uneven voices. At end of second page^ they stop and 
 'gaze at each other; accompaniment continues.] 
 
 Miss Pushington. Where's the third page? 
 
 Miss Love joy. I don't know. 
 
 Miss Pushington. You lost it. 
 
 Miss Lovejoy. It was on your piano last night. 
 
 Miss Pushington. Well, it must be there yet. [They 
 whisper.] 
 
 Helen Leighton. [Having succeeded in untying 
 string on lox of candy, opens it, begins to scream.] 
 Mother, it only has six pieces in it. 
 
 ]\Irs. Leighton. Well, darling, how many did you 
 expect ? This is not a five and ten cent store. 
 
 [Misses Pushington and Lovejoy, looking downcast, 
 low and go into Lemonade Booth, and from there return 
 
30 THE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 to their tooths; everyone looks around surprised at the 
 sudden ending of duet, and at the end of Mrs. Leigh- 
 ton ^s speech applaud vociferously, and general conver- 
 sation and laughter follows immediately.'] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Attempting to make herself heard 
 again.] Ladies and gentlemen — [Whispers to Mrs. Duit- 
 ALL, who again enlists Mr. Witherspoon. He mounts 
 chair sedately for third time.] 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. [^Claps hands.] Ladies and gen- 
 tlemen, with your kind permission we will proceed to 
 the second number of the entertainment. [7/e nods to 
 Mrs. Wright to proceed.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Reading.] The second number on 
 our program this evening will be the reading of an 
 original poem by Mrs. Duitall. [Mrs. Duitall comes 
 from Lemonade Booth, wiping hands on apron and 
 smoothing hair, hows.] 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. Where's the book she's goin' to read 
 from ? 
 
 Miss Nervette. Sh! It's elocution. 
 
 ]\Irs. Duitall. [In rhythmical voice ivith gestures.] 
 
 We're gathered here tonight, dear friends. 
 With hearts so free from sadness; 
 
 We're hoping that you'll do your best. 
 And buy with cheer and gladness. 
 
 Mrs. Berry has her aprons, 
 
 So reasonable and nice — 
 Just the thing for girls and matrons; 
 
 Please step forth and ask the price. 
 
 Mrs. Leighton has her holly 
 
 And novelties galore; 
 Buy your Christmas presents early, 
 
 We advise and we implore. 
 
 Miss Lovejoy has most everything 
 Made of ribbons and of lace; 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 31 
 
 Some have no names — that may be true — 
 But they'll fill most any place. 
 
 Miss Nervette has the candy booth ; 
 
 'Tis full of nuts and sweets; 
 Don't fail to fill your candy tooth 
 
 Or give your neighbors treats. 
 
 The dolls have Mrs. Pushington 
 
 As their chaperone tonight; 
 If you buy a few them, you know, 
 
 Her burdens will be light. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet has the needy things; 
 
 For chapped hands there's a lotion. 
 Cake, jelly, bread and pie she brings, 
 
 To buy, pray take a notion. 
 
 And when a drink you would procure 
 
 Just try this lemonade. 
 It's guaranteed and very pure; 
 
 So give us women aid. 
 
 [Great applause follows. Mrs. Duitall hows and 
 retires into Lemonade Booth. Conversation and laugh- 
 ter become general.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Growijiig braver, mounts chair and 
 claps hands.'} Ladies and gentlemen. [No attention is 
 paid to her. She motions to Mr. Witherspoon. He 
 helps her dismount and they hold whispered conversa- 
 tion. He mounts chair and claps his hands.} 
 
 Mr. Witherspoon. Ladies and gentlemen, before pro- 
 ceeding further with the program, Mrs. Wright desires 
 me to announce that there will be an auction sale, a fine 
 knit shawl being the article put up for auction. Our 
 esteemed friend, Mr. Leighton, will be the auctioneer. 
 [During this speech Misses Nervette and Lovejoy 
 inount chairs and take pink and white shawl down, which 
 has been hanging over the Fancyivork Booth, and hand 
 
32 THE CHARITY BAZAAB 
 
 • 
 
 it to Mr. Leighton, who stands on chair in center of 
 stage. All characters distrihute themselves, forming a 
 semi-circle with Mr. Leighton in the center. As soon 
 as Mr. Witherspoon dismounts, Mr. Pushington drags 
 him into Lemonade Booth and continues argument in 
 pantomime.'] 
 
 Mr. Leighton. Ladies and gentlemen, I have here 
 a fine hand crocheted shawl, knit by hand. Its zephyr 
 is all wool, its dye is real dead. What am I offered for 
 this flimsy, fleecy specimen of woman's handicraft? 
 
 Arabella. [With sudden hraveness.] Fifty cents. 
 
 Mrs. Farthington. Arabella, where are your senses ? 
 [Steps in front of her.'] I'll bid two dollars, Mr. 
 Leighton. 
 
 Mr. Leighton. Two dollars ! [Disgusted.] Just look 
 at this handsome shawl. Come up and examine it. It 
 will fill the bill at any time for any lady at any function. 
 Why, two dollars will not pay for the yarn in such a 
 shawl. I am bid two dollars ; who will bid three ? 
 
 Mrs. DeBussy. I will. 
 
 Mr. Leighton. Ah. Mrs. DeBussy bids three dollars, 
 a paltry sum for such a shawl. Who will make it four? 
 Three dollars I am bid, three dollars, going at three 
 dollars, going — 
 
 Mrs. Leighton. [Stepping forward.] Four dollars. 
 [He motions to her not to hid and she goes to her booth. 
 He pays no attention to her hid.] Do I hear anyone 
 bid four dollars? 
 
 Mrs. Witherspoon. Four dollars. 
 
 Mr. Leighton. Thank you, Mrs. Witherspoon. Four 
 dollars is bid. Why, ladies and gentlemen, don't you 
 know a bargain when you see it? Four dollars barely 
 pays for the yarn and needles. The idea of such a piece 
 of workmanship going for four dollars ! I am bid four 
 dollars — 
 
 Mrs. Hillsby. Four dollars and a quarter. 
 
 Mr. Leighton. Four dollars and a quarter. Why, 
 that^s an insult; the idea of offering such an insignificant 
 sum. Four dollars and a quarter for a fine, flimsy, fleecy 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 33 
 
 effect like this. It can't be duplicated either here or 
 in Patagonia for three times that amount. Four dollars 
 and a quarter, why you ought to be ashamed of your- 
 selves. Mrs. Pushington crocheted this shawl with her 
 own hands. Four dollars and a quarter. Come now, 
 ladies and gentlemen, and let me hear a real bid. ' ' 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. Four dollars and seventy-five cents. 
 
 Mr. Leighton. Mr. Hillsby bids four dollars and 
 seventy-five cents. 
 
 Mrs. Hillsby. Why, Hiram, what do you mean by 
 raising my bid? 
 
 Mr. Hillsby. Why, Elmira, did you bid that four 
 dollars and a quarter? Well that's a joke on me. 
 [Everybody laughs except Mrs. Hillsby.] 
 
 [Enter Peter, R.; he stands at R. of Mr. Leighton.] 
 
 Mr. Leighton. Ladies and gentlemen, it's a pity to 
 waste one's time for four dollars and seventy-five cents 
 — four hundred and seventy-five pennies — someone make 
 it five dollars. [Turning to Peter.] What do you bid, 
 Peter? 
 
 Peter. I bid you good-night. [Exit R.] 
 
 Miss Nervette. [To Mrs. Ittick.] I saw one just 
 like it at Carson-Pirie 's for ten dollars. 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. [Examining shawl closely.] Did you 
 really ? 
 
 Miss Nervette. I really did. 
 
 Mr. Leighton. Do I hear someone bid five dollars, 
 only the twentieth part of a hundred? Why, ladies 
 and gentlemen, are you deaf and dumb and blind? 
 You couldn't buy this in Paris for $20 ; you couldn't buy 
 it in New York for $15. You couldn't buy it in Chi- 
 cago for $10. 
 
 Miss Nervette. [Nudging Mrs. Ittick.] Yes, you 
 could. 
 
 Mr. Leighton. Now what am I offered ? 
 
 Mrs. Ittick. [Finally making up her mind.~\ Five 
 dollars. 
 
 Mr. Leighton. Five dollars is bid; who will make it 
 six ? Going at five dollars ;- do I hear six ? Any more 
 
34 THE CHABITY BAZAAR 
 
 bids? Going once at five dollars, going twice, — anyone 
 else ? Gone ! Sold to Mrs. Ittick for five dollars ! 
 
 [Mr. Leighton hands shmvl to Mrs. Ittick. Just as 
 shaivl is sold, Mr. Pushington realizes situation. He 
 rushes to Mr. Leighton.] 
 
 Mr. Pushington. What's this? What's this? Five 
 dollars? [He seizes shawl from Mrs. Ittick.] Pardon 
 me, madam. [She is too startled to reply. '] Never five 
 dollars for a shawl like this. I will pay $15 for it right 
 now. Five dollars, indeed ! My wife has been spin- 
 ning this yarn, I mean weaving this tale, I mean knit- 
 ting this shawl, for the last six months [Holds it up.], 
 rising at six o'clock in the morning, often burning the 
 midnight oil, I mean the electric light, in order to finish 
 it for this affair tonight; [TaJies a long breath.] neglect- 
 ing her husband's sox, sending regrets to her bridges, 
 forsaking the bargain counter, forgetting the buttons 
 on her children's clothes, and all for this, THIS, [Hold- 
 ing shawl higher.] and then to see it go for five paltry 
 dollars. It's too much! I mean, it's too little. Love's 
 labor lost. NO, I cannot bear it. I won't tolerate it. 
 I '11 buy it myself first for $15 and give it to her [Point- 
 ing to ]\Irs. Pushington.] as a Christmas gift. [He 
 hands money to Miss Lovejoy and throws shawl around 
 Mrs. Pushington ^s shoulders.'] Love and best wishes; 
 your Christmas gift. 
 
 Mrs. Pushington. [ Too surprised to remonstrate.'] 
 But I wanted a fur coat for my Christmas present. 
 
 [A shrill whistle is heard off stage. Everyone is 
 startled. Enter Cloven, grinning, with a basket of 
 fancy colored bags tied around his: neck. A placard on 
 him reads: 
 
 GRAB BAGS— 5c E^CH. 
 
 Cloven. Grab bags, five cents, for the little ones. 
 [He stands in center of stage bowing and smiling ; in- 
 stantly all of the children gather around him.] Only 
 five cents, children. No one knows what's inside. Only 
 five cents to find out. [All children run to parents, 
 
. THE CHABITY BAZAAR 85 
 
 screaming, ^'Oh, mother, give me five cents. Oh, father y 
 give me a nickel, etc.^'] 
 
 ADULTS 
 
 * CHILDREN * 
 
 * * 
 
 * O * 
 
 * O CLOWN O * 
 
 * * 
 
 Clown. [Bloivs whistle.]. Come, who'll buy ? Who'll 
 Iniy? Only five cents! 
 
 [All of the children rush to Clown, eagerly holding 
 up money. All characters cheer and throw confetti and. 
 colored paper streamers in all directions.'] 
 
 CURTAIN 
 
 Curtain call: Clown stands on chair and throws colored 
 hags in all directions. Children scramhle for than. 
 More confetti, more streamers. 
 
 END of ACT I. 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 Scene — Same as Act I., the morning after. The booths 
 have the appearance of being partially dismantled. 
 The decorations are nearly all removed. Empty 
 baskets, boxes and old paper^s are scattered around. 
 Two stepladders in sight. Every booth except Apron 
 Booth and Domestic Booth are in disorder. When 
 curtain rises Peter is discovered pushing paper 
 into cor7i€r with broom. Enter Mrs. Wright, R., 
 clad in wet raincoat, carrying wet umbrella. In- 
 stead of bristling in as she did the night before she 
 drags herself in very sloivly, places her umbrella 
 
36 THE CHAPilTY BAZAAR 
 
 in the corner, opens her pockethook, takes out a pill 
 
 hox from which she takes a pill with water from 
 
 glass on table in Lemonade Booth. Peter watches 
 
 her closely. She sighs d.eeply as she sinks into a 
 
 chair. Peter coughs behind his hand.'] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Removing hands from temples.'] Oh, 
 
 good morning, Peter. As usual I am the first on the 
 
 scene. 
 
 Mrs. Blaniquet. [Rising phantom^like, as on the 
 
 night previous.] I'm here. [Jams packages into basket.] 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [Rising in same manner.] And so am I, 
 
 and, what's more, I was here before the doors were 
 
 unlocked. 
 
 Peter. Oh, I wuz heah. De wind Mowed dat doah 
 shet and de lock just slam hanged et. [Exit L.] 
 
 Mrs. Berry. He's just like a collar button — never on 
 hand when wanted and always there when there's no 
 use for it. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Feehly.] Really, it's very brave of 
 you to come out such a bad morning, and I certainly 
 appreciate it. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. ) ^Together.] It was our duty. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. ) l ^ J -^ 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Smothering a yawn.] Well, I trust 
 the other ladies will be on time so we can settle our 
 accounts. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. We'll be mighty lucky if we have 
 any to settle. 
 
 [Enter Peter, L., with pan of water, which he puts 
 in Domestic Booth. Exit R.] 
 
 Mrs. Berry. That's just what I say. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Oh, don't let's wrangle about it. I 
 have such a splitting headache. 
 
 [Enter Ruth Leighton, R., clad in raincoat and car- 
 'ries wet umbrella.] 
 
 Ruth Leighton. [To Mrs. Wright.] Here's a note 
 from mother. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Takes note.] Thank you, Ruth. 
 [Reads note.] 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 37 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Isn 't your mother coming this morn- 
 ing? 
 
 Ruth Leighton. She's gone to the city. [Retreats 
 toward door.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Reads aloud.] My dear Mrs. Wright: 
 I find I have another attack of neuralgia, and it will be 
 impossible for me to be with you this morning. Please 
 give the basket I left under the counter to Ruth and 
 kindly oblige, yours sincerely, Mrs. Leighton. P. S. 
 Enclosed find account of Christmas Novelty Booth. 
 [Weafily to Mrs. Berry.] Please get the basket for 
 Ruth. [Points to Christinas Booth.] Over there. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [Whisking out of her booth, she gets 
 basket ivithout taking her eyes ojf of Ruth and hands it 
 to her.] Tell your mother I hope she will find plenty 
 of bargains. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Yes. And tell her I hope she will 
 enjoy the matinee. 
 
 Ruth Leighton. [U7iahashed.]* Thank you; I'm 
 sure she will. [Stumbles out R.] 
 
 Mrs. Berry. iTogether.] Well, of all the- 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. j ^ j 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Never mind, ladies ; remember, I have 
 such a headache. 
 
 Peter. [Enter R.] De Pushington's cah am on 
 de outside and de showfah says he am come for de 
 trimmins 's. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Weakly points to the doll booth, 
 where three filled baskets are visible.] There ! 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Why didn't she come for those 
 things herself? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. That's just what I *say. She has just 
 as much right to come down here and straighten up as 
 we have. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. And she has a car, too. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. What if she has a car? That's the kind 
 that are always the laziest. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Getting up determinedly.] Well, 
 ril help Peter. 
 
38 THE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 Peter. [Holding the three 'baskets.'] Now ef you 
 will jest hold de doah open I'm sure I kin make it. 
 [Exit, preceded by Mrs. Wright, R.] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. I never was in favor of trying to 
 raise money this way, anyhow. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. That's exactly what I say. If we had 
 each gone down in our pockets and given five dollars, 
 we would have saved lots of this fuss and worry, and 
 what does it all amount to? 
 
 Miss Nervette. [E^iters R.; she wears wet raincoat 
 and carries a wet umbrella.'] Tommyrot! Did you ever 
 see such a day ? Talk about the cold gray dawn of the 
 morning after. [Goes to C] 
 
 [Enter Mrs. "Wright, E.] 
 
 Miss Nervette. And have you seen the ^'Tribald"? 
 Just get on to this. [Produces newspaper from pocket.] 
 It 's great ! 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Forgetting headache at sight of news- 
 paper.] Oh, the paper! Do let's see it. It's so dark 
 in here I can't see. [Calls.] Peter! 
 
 Peter. [Enters B.] Yassum. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Peter, please turn the lights on. 
 
 Peter. Yassum, Mrs. Wright. [Goes to switch and 
 turns lights on.] 
 
 [All of the ladies join Miss Nervette, who gives each 
 a part of the paper, ivhich they^ anxiously scan, Miss 
 Nervette watching them closely.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. I see nothing here. [Throws paper 
 aside and sit§ at table near Lemonade Booth.] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Nor I. [Throws paper aside and 
 retntms to her booth.] 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [Looking at Mrs. Wright.] Not even 
 a photograph! [Throws paper aside and returns to her 
 booth.] 
 
 Miss Nervette. [Laughs and gathers up the scat- 
 tered newspapers.] Nothing doing! 
 
 Mrs. Wright. I think that's what caused this head- 
 ache. [Rests her head and arms on table.] 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 39 
 
 Mrs. Berry, Well, it nearly caused a riot. 
 
 Miss Nervette. [Looking around.] Awfully sorry 
 I can't stay, but I have to make the 10:21. Here's my 
 account for the Candy Booth. That ought to cure any- 
 one 's headache. Well, so long! [Starts R., but returns.] 
 1 almost forgot, here's Miss Lovejoy's account for the 
 Fancywork Booth. She strained her throat last night, 
 so she's down in the mouth this morning and can't get 
 out. 
 
 [Enter Arabella, R., wearing rain coat and carrying 
 a wet umb7'ella.] 
 
 Miss Nervette. [Starts out.] Again, so long! [Bu77ips 
 into Arabella.] Greetings, Ophelia! This is no place 
 for thee. [Exits R.] 
 
 Arabella. [Frightened as usual.] Mamma said for 
 me to a — 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Noticing wet umbrella.] Why Ara- 
 bella! why are you walking such a morning as this? 
 
 Arabella. Oh, our machine's broken. 
 
 Arabella. [Pays no attention to question.] And 
 Mamma says I 'm to give this money to some one. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Enters R., wears rain coat and car- 
 ries an umbrella.] Do I hear the word "money" and 
 where did you get it? 
 
 Arabella. Mamma gave it to me. She bought my 
 flowers you know, and I'm to hand this note to some- 
 body and get a basket. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Takes note.] Well, bless her heart. 
 We're glad to get any money. [Reads address.] ''Mrs. 
 Wright." [Hands note to Mu^.y^mGWi.] This belongs to 
 you. 
 
 [Mrs. Duitall puts her wraps on counter of Doll Booth 
 and Arabella edges her way into Lemonade Booth, 
 turns her back towards ladies and fills her U7nbrella and 
 pockets full of the cast-away flowers of the night pre- 
 vious; none of the ladies 7ioticing her.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Reads.] /'My dear Mrs. Wright : It 
 
40 THE CHARITY *BAZAAB 
 
 gives me the greatest pleasure to convey to you such a 
 splendid report of Arabella's earnings of last evening. 
 Enclosed find $10 which emphasizes the fact that the 
 dear child sold all the flowers entrusted to her care. 
 Faithfully yours, Cordelia Farthington. " [Folds note.] 
 How encouraging. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. I always said Arabella was an efficient 
 child. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Comes to Apron Booth and exa^n- 
 ines aprons.'] She might be if she didn't give people 
 paralysis. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. "Well, she certainly gives me the fidgets. 
 
 Arabella. [Coming forward.] You'll find the other 
 fifty cents in Mr. Hillsby's pocket. 
 
 Mai- D=l} [^"^^^'^-•l ^^^'] • 
 
 Arabella. Well, I don't know which one. Men al- 
 ways have so many pockets, but you '11 find it all right, — 
 if you'll just look for it. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. ' ' Did you put it there ? ' ' 
 
 Arabella. [Backs toward R. exit.] Oh, no, I don't 
 know how it got there, but Mamma said I was to get a 
 basket which she left here last night. 
 
 [Mrs. Blanquet and Mrs. Berry go into Apron Booth 
 and talk to each other in pantomime. They do not see 
 from where Mrs. Duitall obtains the basket which she 
 gives to Arabella.] 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. What kind of a basket ? 
 
 Arabella. Oh, just a basket. She didn't say what 
 kind of a one. I guess anyone will do. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Taking one from Domestic Booth.] 
 Does this look like it ? 
 
 Arabella. [Examines hasket.] Oh, yes, I'm sure 
 that's the one, and you'll find the fifty cents in Mr. 
 Hillsby's basket and I'll give this pocket to Mamma. 
 
 [Examines basket again.] "Yes, I'm sure." [Backs 
 out Exit R.] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Mrs. Blanquet and Mrs. Berry 
 
THE CHABITY BAZAAR 41 
 
 come from Apron Booth.] We'll never see the Hillsby 
 fifty cents, I can tell you that. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. Unless you go down in his pocket and 
 get it. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. It's hard enough to find money in 
 one's own pocket, let alone hunting in other people's 
 pockets. Mr. Hillsby 's welcome to his fifty cents for 
 all of me. 
 
 [Enter Peter, R., and starts to clean room.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Takes another pill.'] Never mind, 
 ladies, I'll pay the fifty cents. [She takes money from 
 purse and pu-ts it on table.] Perhaps we may as well 
 go ahead and settle our accounts. Peter, will you please 
 bring that table out here. [She points to one in Lemon- 
 ade Booth.] 
 
 Peter. Yassum. 
 
 [Peter brings table to C. and each lady brings a chair. 
 They sit around table with pencils and papers in hands, 
 the following being the arrangement : 
 
 Mrs. Wright 
 Mrs. Berry Mrs. Blanquet 
 
 Mrs. Duitall i 
 
 Peter sweeps the floor with sweeper, and runs it first 
 against one and then each of the other chairs on which 
 the ladies are sitting.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. That will do, Peter. You may finish 
 cleaning the room after we are gone. 
 
 Peter. Well, how's a pusson evah goin' ta git his 
 wuk done, ef peoples keep intafearin him? [He con- 
 tinues to mumble under his breath. Mrs. Duitall rises 
 mid goes to Mrs. Wright. Whispers to her. Mrs. Wright 
 gives an assenting nod of her head.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Oh, Peter, come here. In recognition 
 of your splendid services — a — your services — a— the way 
 you do your work — [He nods.] — we, the ladies of the 
 Society, desire to— desire to — we are going to give you 
 two dollars for your—for your— what you did. [Hands 
 him bill.] 
 
42 THE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 Peter. [Takes money and passes it through his 
 hands.} I'ze pow'fnl glad I is indeed. Yes, sab. Dese 
 yhea two dollarziz does come in mighty handy like, yes, 
 sah. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. That will do, Peter. 
 
 Peter. Oh, yassum. [With hroad grin.'] I'll do de 
 sweepin' dis aftah noon when dey ain't no one round. 
 [Exit R., he crosses stage frequently as in Act / during 
 remaindei^ of Act II.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Let us proceed with the — with the — 
 let us go on. Mrs. Berry as Chairman of the Apron 
 Booth, will you please read your report ? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [Stands and reads.] Madam Chairman 
 and Ladies : 
 
 To 2 bolts of gingham at $4.25 = $8.50 
 10 yards of dimity 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Interrupting.] Please don't go into 
 details, just read your total expenditures and receipts, 
 and say what your booth made. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. Made ? The only thing our booth made, 
 was aprons. [Reads.] '^Renting machines, $3 — " 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Interrupting again.] Yes, but what 
 was the profit of your booth ? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [Crossing out half of her report with 
 2)cncil.] $5.85. 
 
 [Mrs. Berry takes her chair and puts it in front of 
 Christmas Booth. Mrs. Duitall moves her chair to space 
 vacated by Mrs. Berry.] 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. Well, but why didn't you make more 
 than that, all your aprons were sold ? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [In front of Apron Booth.] Yes, sold 
 at auction for fifteen cents apiece, when the material 
 cost more than fifty. [She goes into Apron Booths 
 piqued.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. That will do, ladies. [Writes on tab- 
 let.] Apron Booth, five eighty-five. Mrs. Blanquet, as 
 Chairman of the Domestic Booth, may we hear from 
 you? 
 
THE CHABITY BAZAAR 43 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [^Rising.'] Madam Chairman and 
 lady: [She draws long breath.] To epitomize my ac- 
 eonnt I will report the Domestic Booth has a deficit of 
 ninety-five cents. 
 
 [Mrs. Wright and Mrs. Duitall look at each other, 
 shocked and surprised.] 
 
 Mrs. Berry. Is that all ? 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. How can that be possible? 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. It's possible for several reasons. 
 First, fifteen cakes promised were not delivered, and 
 we purchased that number from the exchange. Four 
 were sold for just what we paid for them, and the ex- 
 change very unkindly refused to credit us with' the 
 eleven which we tried to return this morning, — eight 
 glasses of jelly were broken being brought here, — two 
 cans of peaches that were donated were spoiled — [The 
 ladies look distressed.] — and the remaining loaves of 
 bread shared the same fate as the aprons ! Sold at auc- 
 tion, each for two cents less than cost. Therefore ninety- 
 five cents deficit. [Sits down abruptly.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Looks more miserable and takes an- 
 other pill.] Mrs. Duitall, as Chairman of the Lemonade 
 Booth, may we hear your deficit — I mean your report? 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Rising.] Excuse me if I have no 
 definite report, but I rejoice to say that after paying 
 a dollar and a half for the rental of the bowl and ladle 
 and paying for the lemons and sugar, I report favor- 
 ably $6.80. [Apologetically.] You know the price of 
 lemons has advanced, notwithstanding the reduction in 
 the tariff. [Resumes seat.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Applanding, iveakly.] Good. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Well, how under the sun did you 
 ever manage it ? 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. I must confess [Confidentially.] to- 
 wards the last 1 did fill it up with water, but I guess— 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [Interrupting.] I thought it tasted 
 like it. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Taking Mrs. Duitall 's hand.] Never- 
 
44 THE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 theless I congratulate you. Water or no water. I will 
 now read the reports from the other — 
 
 Peter. [Enters, R., holding a dozen or more handker- 
 chiefs in one hand, several pairs of overshoes under his 
 arm, the other hand full of hreastpins, hairpins, etc.^ 
 Sorra to distub yah, Mrs. Wright, but dese yeah things 
 am among de missin'. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Tur7iing.'\ What's that, Peter, I don't 
 understand you? 
 
 Peter. Why des losted ! Las ' night I done found 
 dem heah dis mawnin'. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. We can't bother with them this morn- 
 ing. We're too busy discovering our own losses. You 
 put them away and we will make an announcement at 
 our next meeting. 
 
 Peter. Jest as yo say, Mrs. Wright. [M littering.'] 
 I jest feel like the President of the founders' sassity. 
 [Exit R.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Holding Mrs. Leighton's note.] I 
 will now read the report of the Christmas Novelty Booth, 
 as given by its Chairman, Mrs. Leighton. [Opens note 
 and reads.] ''Owing to the high cost of tissue paper, 
 the exorbitant duty on novelties and the lack of willing 
 and generous purchasers, the Christmas Novelty Booth 
 stands, $1.50 on the credit side, if I myself pay for the 
 ribbons and boxes, or $3.29 deficit if I do not. Mrs. 
 Leighton, Chairman." [Looks helplessly aronnd.] The 
 question now before us is : Shall Mrs. Leighton make up 
 the deficit ? Those in favor, say ' ' aye ' ' ! 
 
 Mrs. Duitall 1 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet > [Together.] Aye. 
 
 Mrs. Berry J 
 
 [Does not wait to hear nos.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Those opposed, no. The ayes have it. 
 
 [Mrs. Blanquet goes to her tooth and looks for her 
 basket.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Reads aloud while writing.] 
 "Christmas Novelty Booth, $1.50 credit." Next we will 
 have the report from — 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 45 
 
 [Enter Peter, R.] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Interrupting.] Excuse me, Mrs. 
 Wright. Peter what did you do with my basket? It 
 was standing right here. [Points to counter of Domestic 
 Booth. Mrs. Duitall pays no attention to her, hut Mrs. 
 Wright looks quite distressed and takes another pill.] 
 
 Peter. I ain't seen yo basket. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Who would touch it if you didn't? 
 Are you sure you didn't give it to the Pushington's 
 chauffeur? You ought to be more careful. Now where 
 can it be? [She hunts 'behind all of the counters for it.] 
 
 Peter. Ebery time des anything done, I'ze done 
 it ; ebery time dey 's anything lost, I 'ze losted it ; ebery 
 time dey's anything found, I'ze found it, but no one 
 evah gibes me no credit fo' nuthin'. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. That will do, Peter. 
 
 Peter. [Mumhling.] Dey ain't 'no use in nuthin'. 
 [Exit L.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. We will now proceed with the report 
 of the Candy Booth, left by Miss Nervette. 
 
 Boxes of home-made candy sold, 22@50c = $11.00 
 " " '' " " '' 16@25c= 4.00 
 
 Cost of sugar, nuts, raisins, etc., $9.60, leaving a credit 
 balance of $5.40. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. I presume that doesn't include what 
 she gave away? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. Nor what she ate herself. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. What became of all the popcorn? 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Refers to note.] It was sold on a 
 percentage basis and the remainder returned. [Examines 
 note.] She reports 87c credit on the popcorn. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Coynes to C] How could it be 
 eighty-seven cents, when it sold for five cents apiece? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. She probably short-changed someone. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [To Mrs. Berry.] Well, I think 
 people are fortunate if they receive any change at all at 
 a bazaar. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Who has been looking over papers.] 
 
46 THE CHABITY BAZAAB 
 
 "We will now [Picking out a report] hear the report of 
 the Fancywork Booth, Chairman Miss Lovejoy. ''Ar- 
 ticles contributed — " 
 
 Arabella. [E7iters R., carrying some hasket she took 
 out, flustrated as usual.] Mamma says she never bought 
 all these cakes and pies. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Goes to her and takes the basket.] 
 "Well, I should say she didn't. Those are 7ny cakes and 
 pies. 
 
 Arabella. Yours? Well, why didn't you say so 
 before f 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. What are you going to do with all 
 those cakes and pies ? 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. I baked every one of them myself 
 and I bought every one back myself. We, ourselves, 
 intend to eat them. That 's what people usually do with 
 cakes and pies, I believe. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. Usually, if other people don't carry 
 them away. 
 
 Arabella. Oh, really Mrs. Blanquet, I didn't eat 
 any of them. I dropped the basket just as I got on the 
 street car but the conductor helped me and we picked 
 them all up, and I — 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Interrupting.] Really, Arabella, we 
 regret that you have had all of this extra trouble, but — 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Interrupting.] Yes, dropping my 
 cakes and pies on the street. Just look at them, [puts 
 them on counter.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. — but Mrs. Duitall will help you find 
 your own basket now. 
 
 [Mrs. Wright and Mrs. Duitall hunt for Arabella's 
 basket while Mrs. Blanquet and Mrs. Berry strike atti- 
 tudes of defense in front of their booths. Arabella 
 stands in center of stage glancing terrified, first at Mrs. 
 Blanquet, then at Mrs. Berry.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. It's queer we can't find it. Peter 
 knows where it is, perhaps. I'll ask him. [Exit L.] 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. Where did you see it last, Arabella? 
 
 Arabella. Why, why, last — last night — just as 1— 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 47 
 
 oh — perhaps its — yes — now I remember. I saw it on 
 our back porch this morning and I — [Backs towards 
 B. exit. Enter Mrs. Wright, L., followed by Peter.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Well, you must have seen it. 
 
 Peter. Nome, I tell ye, I ain't seen it. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Arabella found it. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Where? I'm so relieved! 
 
 Mrs. Berry. On her back porch. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. On her back porch? 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Been there all night. 
 
 Peter. An' I gits de blame foh it. [Shuffles out. 
 Exit L.] 
 
 Arabella. Yes, on our back porch. Our porch. 
 You'll find that fifty cents in the basket. I mean — 
 [Exit R.] 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. I think Arabella needs some sleep. 
 She was out too late last night. [Goes to piano and gets 
 package.] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. What Arabella needs is a nurse. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. That's just what I say. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Ladies, we have one more report to 
 hear before we can settle our accounts. I will now read 
 Miss Lovejoy's report. 
 
 The following were sold: 
 
 Articles, nameless 55 
 
 Articles, guessed at 20 
 
 Articles, known 15 
 
 Total cash sales $45.00 
 
 Shawl, sold at auction 15.00 
 
 Total receipts $60.00 
 
 Expenses 42.40 
 
 Leaving a balance of $17.60 
 
 This I believe — 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Expenses $42.40? Why, what for? 
 Mrs. Wright. [Considting report.] She has not 
 itemized the expenses. 
 
48 THE CHABITY BAZAAB 
 
 Mrs. Berry. Well, that's mighty queer. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Paying no further attention.'] This 
 I believe is the complete report from all of the booths. 
 Ill give you the final balance as soon as I add these 
 together. \^She retires to counter of the Candy Booth 
 and figures with Iter hack to audience.'] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. That oughtn't to take long. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. Not if she is good on subtraction. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Comes to tahle and starts to wrap 
 up a package in newspaper.] To tell you the truth, I 'm 
 sorry the bazaar is over. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. I'm not. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. Nor I. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. [Noticing newspaper that Mrs. 
 Duitall is using.] Why, that's this morning's paper. 
 Why, the idea of wrapping a package in this morning's 
 news. [Points to article.] Oh, just look here. Here's 
 something about the bazaar. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Takes the paper and reads aloud.] 
 *'A large crowd attended the Charity Bazaar given last 
 night at — " [Laughs and reads to herself.] ^ ' Great credit 
 is due the Woman's Sewing Circle of the Benevolent 
 Society for the Promulgation and Preservation of Dis- 
 couraged Infants." [Nods and reads to herself.] ''The 
 beautiful duet sung by Miss Love joy and Miss Push- 
 ington will never be forgotten." 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. That's true. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. I should say it wouldn 't. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Reading.] ''It was necessary to re- 
 spond to several encores." 
 
 Mrs. Berry. [Interrupting.] Never heard 'em, did 
 you. [Mrs. Blanquet shakes her head.] 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Reading.] "And the original poem 
 by Mrs. Duitall was only equaled by Longfellow's 'Hia- 
 watha' or Tennyson's 'Princess' — " [Self consciously, 
 looking around.] How lovely; who do you suppose 
 wrote it? 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Yes, who? 
 
 Mrs. Berry. It wouldn 't be hard to guess. 
 
THE CHARITY BAZAAR 49 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Paying no attention, reads.] "The 
 hall was decorated with pink roses and chrysanthemums, 
 many palms being — " 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Perhaps that's where our money 
 went. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Reading.'] "The ladies were re- 
 warded for their earnest labors by a substantial sum — " 
 [Tuyming to ladies.] Just listen to this. 
 
 Mrs. ^-l an qvY.T.'X [Together, looking over Mrs. Duit- 
 
 Mrs. Berry. J aia^^^ slwulder^ What? 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Pointing to place in paper.] — "a 
 substantial sum of five hundred dollars." 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Five hundred nothing. 
 
 Mrs. Berry. That's more like it. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Reading:] "The ladies will give an- 
 other bazaar of the same kind next year." 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Not if I know myself. [Goes to 
 Domestic Booth and puts on her wraps.] 
 
 Mrs. Berry. That's exactly what I say. [Goes to 
 Apron Booth and puts on her wraps.] 
 
 Mrs. "Wright. [Comes down C] Ladies if you — 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Interrupting.] Oh, Mrs. Wright, 
 there 's such a lovely article in the News about the bazaar. 
 Let me read — 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Motions her away.] I never want to 
 see another newspaper as long as I live. Now, ladies, 
 if you will kindly listen — I must sit down. [Holds her 
 head and sits.] Oh, my head — I find the gross profits 
 amount to $47.07. Deducting $13.25 for decorations and 
 miscellaneous expenses, leaves us $33.82 as our net 
 profits. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. Did you deduct the $2 that you gave 
 to Peter? 
 
 Mrs. Wright. Oh, dear, no ; I forgot. [Figures on 
 paper.] That makes our balance $31.82. [Leans her 
 head wearily on table.] 
 
 Peter. [Shuffling in, L.] Oh, I say, Mrs. Wright, I'm 
 dat sorry, but I done fo'got about dis heah note what 
 
50 THE CHARITY BAZAAR 
 
 was lef heah fo' yo' dis mawnin'. Yes, sah, I clean 
 done fo'got it. [Exit L.J 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Takes note from Peter, 6/ows dirt off'.] 
 I hope it's a donation. [Hands note to Mrs. Wright.] 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Wipes her forehead wearily, opens 
 note and 7'eads.~\ "Material and making of clown's cos- 
 tume, $5. Material and making of fortune teller's cos- 
 tume, $6.35." Oh, dear, this must be taken from our 
 [Looks at paper.] $31.82. Let me see — [Figures.] — five 
 from twelve leaves six; three from seven leaves five — 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [Who has been looking over her sJwid- 
 der, interrupting.'] You're not figuring that correctly. 
 
 Mrs. Wright. [Hands paper to Mrs. Duitall.] I'm 
 too tired to tell one figure from another. 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. [After figuring.'] That leaves $20.47. 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Didn't I tell you we'd be in the 
 hole ! 
 
 Mrs. Duitall. Yes, but we're not. [Smiling.] We 
 made $20.47. 
 
 [Mrs. Wright takes another pill, and Mrs. Duitall 
 goes to Lemonade Booth and puts on her wraps.] 
 [Enter Peter, L., with hroom.] 
 
 Mrs. Blanquet. Yes, and what's the result? Head- 
 aches! Neuralgias! Strained throats! To say nothing 
 of paralysis, fidgets and heaven knows what all. We'd 
 just better give our five dollars and be done with it. 
 [Exit R.] 
 
 Mrs. Berry. That's exactly what — those are my sen- 
 timents, too. [Exit R.] 
 
 Peter. [Begins to sweep.] Didn't I say, dis was jest 
 a lot ob foolishness ? 
 
 [Mrs. Wright dejeetedly buries her head in her arms 
 on the table. Mrs. Duitall, exit R. Peter continues 
 sweeping.] 
 
 curtain. 
 
 Curtain Call. \Dim lights.'] Mrs. Wright on stage 
 alone, in same position as above. 
 
 curtain. 
 
BLUNDERING BILLY 
 
 A FARCICAL COMEDY IN THREE ACTS 
 
 By 
 
 ANTHONY E. WILLS 
 
 Author of "BuHeij's Ranch/' "Her Gloves/' etc. 
 
 PRICE, 25 CENTS 
 
 The reception room of ^'The Strathmore," a family 
 hotel on the shores of San Francisco Bay, near Alameda, 
 California, is the scene where the action of all three acts 
 of this play takes place. Act I, Morning ; Act II, After- 
 noon ; Act III, Evening. Two honrs are reqnired for the 
 presentation. The five male and three female characters 
 are as follows: 
 
 Ezra Tuttle, a rich mine owner. 
 
 Billy Butler, always in trouble. 
 
 Lieut. Griswold, from the Presidio Reservation. 
 
 Sing Toy, a servant. 
 
 Hank Dibble, an Old Salt. 
 
 Dorothy Tuttle, Ezra's daughter. 
 
 Clarissa Burnilim, a guest at "The Strathmore." 
 
 WoYO San, a Japanese girl. 
 
 A popular comedy because it is lively and funny and 
 full of action. ''Blundering Billy" has been tried and 
 found always a ''winner." 
 
 Address orders to 
 
 THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 
 CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 
 
Santiago 
 
 OR 
 
 For the Red, White and Blue 
 A "War Drama in Four Acts 
 
 By JOHN A. FRASER 
 Price, 25 cents 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
 Capt. Oscar Hutton, U. S. A. In love with Cora. .Leading' Juvenll« 
 
 Lieut. Fislc, U. S. A. In love withi his duty Juvenile bit 
 
 Milton Merry, U. S. N. In love with Bess Light Comedy 
 
 Lieut. Cristobal, S. A. In love with soldiering Straight 
 
 Dr. Harrison, Red Cross H. S. In love with surgery 
 
 Straight old man 
 
 Elmer Walton, banker. In love with Spanish bonds 
 
 Character old man 
 
 Phillip Basset, his stepson. In love with Ysobel Juvenile 
 
 Fernando Diaz, Walton's cashier, afterwards S. A. In love with 
 
 Cora Heavy 
 
 Beverly Brown, Walton's butler, afterwards Red Cross H. S. In 
 
 love with chickens Negro Comedy 
 
 Cornelius Dwyer, Walton's coachman, afterwards U. S. A. In 
 
 love with "Naygurs" Irish Comedy 
 
 Antonio Carlos, a Cuban planter. In love with Spain 
 
 Character old man 
 
 Cora Basset, Walton's stepdaughter. In love with Oscar. .Juvenile 
 
 Bess Walton, Walton's daughter. In love with Milton Ingenue 
 
 Ysobel Carlos, Antonio's daughter. In love with Phillip. .. .JuveniW 
 American Soldiers, American Sailors, Spanish Soldiers, Guerillas. 
 Actual time of playing, two hours. 
 
 SYNOPSIS 
 
 ACT L The ball at Walton's, Washington, D. C. Handsome in- 
 terior. 
 
 ACT II. The Red Cross Hospital. First day's battle of Santiago. 
 Exterior. 
 
 ACT III. Scene 1. — Interior Guerilla headquarters in the Sierra 
 Cobra, near Santiago. Scene 2. — Exterior. The underbrush of Si- 
 erra Cobra. Scene 3. — Fight in the mountain pass, second day's 
 battle of Santiago. Exterior. 
 
 ACT IV. Hotel Tacon, Santiago, on the night of the surrender. 
 Interior. 
 
 NOTE. — Walton, Dr. Harrison and Carlos may double easily, and 
 the piece played with nine males, three females. 
 
 The best Cuban war play ever written. Easy to produce, but 
 very effective. Thrilling situations, fine comedy, intense climaxes. 
 Comic Irishman and Negro. Three magnificent female parts. Pic- 
 turesque Spanish villain and heroic juvenile lead. No special scen- 
 ery is required, as every regular theatre, in its ordinary equip- 
 ment, has every set called for. Adapted to both professional ana 
 imateur companies. 
 
 Address Orders to 
 
 THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMFAKY 
 
 CHICAC-O, ILi.INOI3 
 
THE 
 
 HEART OF A SHAMROCK 
 
 A PLAY IN THREE ACTS 
 
 By 
 
 GEORGE M. ROSENER 
 
 PRICE, 25 CENTS 
 
 Acts I, II and III all have the same scene, the Sitting 
 Room in Father 'Neil's home, and the action occurs in 
 the evening at about 7 o'clock, at about 11 o'clock, and 
 again one hour later. The time is the present at Wild 
 Cat, Colorado. The Cast of Characters includes Father 
 O'Neil, the pastor; Bob, the sheriff; his brother, "The 
 Shamrock"; Laddie, the youngest brother; Grizzly 
 Adams, a cattleman ; May, an Irish rose ; ]\Irs. Donovan, 
 the housekeeper; Joan, a ranchman's daughter, and 
 Gad, a city waif. This part may be played either as a 
 boy or a girl. 
 
 This play was published two years ago and has met 
 with great success wherever produced, by both profes- 
 sionals and amateurs. It is easily put on and "acts 
 itself." A fine money-making entertainment. 
 
 Address orders to 
 
 THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 
 
The Spinsters^ Convention 
 
 (The Original 
 Old Maids^ Convention) 
 
 Price, 25 cents 
 
 An evening's entertainment which is always' a sure hit and 
 a money-maker. Has been given many hundred times by 
 schools, societies and churches, with the greatest success. An 
 evening of refined fun. It requires from twelve to twenty 
 ladies and two gentlemen, although ladies may take the two 
 male parts. A raised platform with curtains at the back is 
 all th^ stage requires, but a fully equipped opera stage may 
 be utilized and to great advantage. 
 
 Eidiculous old maid costumes, with all their frills and fur- 
 belows, their cork-screw curls, mittens, work bags, bird cages, 
 etc., are the proper costumes. Later on in the program some 
 pretty young women in modern evening dress are required. 
 The latter should each be able to give a number of a mis- 
 cellaneous program, that is, be able to sing, play some instru- 
 ment, dance, whistle or recite well. 
 
 This entertainment utilizes all sorts of talent, and gives 
 each participant a good part. Large societies can give every 
 member something to do. 
 
 SYNOPSIS 
 
 Gathering of the Members of the Society — The Roll-Call — The 
 Greeting Song — Minutes of the last meeting — Report of The Treas- 
 urer — Music: "Sack Waltz" — A paper on Woman's Rights — Song: 
 **No One to Love, None to Caress." — Reading of "Marriage Statis- 
 tics" — The Advent of the Mouse — Initiation of two Candidates into 
 the Society — Tne Psalm of Marriage — Secretary's Report on Eligible 
 Men — A Petition to Congress — Original Poem by Betsy Bobbett — 
 Song: "Why Don't the Men Propose?" — Report of The Vigilance 
 Committee — An Appeal to the Bachelors — Prof. Make-over — The 
 Remodelscope.-Testimonials — The Transformation and a miscel- 
 laneous program. 
 
 Address Orders to 
 THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 
 CHICAGO. ILLINOIS 
 
Capt* Racket 
 
 A Comedy in Three Acts 
 
 By CHARLES TOWNSEND 
 
 Price* 25 ceab 
 
 This play by Mr. Townsend is probably one of his most populai 
 
 productions; it certainly is one of his best. It is full of action from 
 etart to finish. Comic situations rapidly follow one after another, 
 and the act endings are especially strong and lively. Every char- 
 acter is good and affords abundant opportunity for effective work. 
 Can be played by five men and three women, if desired. The 
 same scene is used for all the acts, and it is an easy interior. A 
 most excellent play for repertoire companies. No seeker for a 
 good play can afford to ignore it. 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
 CAPT. ROBERT RACKET, one of the National Guard. A lawyer 
 
 when he has nothing else to do, and a liar all the time 
 
 Comedy lend 
 
 OBADIAH DAWSON, his uncle, from Japan, "where they make 
 tea" '. ~ Comedj' old man 
 
 TIMOTHY TOLMAN, his friend, who married for money, a^d is 
 sorry for it Juvei.ke man 
 
 MR. DALROY, his father-in-law, jolly old cove Eccentric 
 
 HOBSON, waiter from the "Cafe Gloriana," who adds* to the 
 confusion Utility 
 
 CLARICE, the Captain's pretty v/ife, out for a lark, and up to 
 ••anything awful" Comedy lead 
 
 MRS. TOLMAN, a lady with a temper, who finds her Timothy a 
 vexation of spirit Old woman 
 
 KATY, a mischievous maid Soubrette 
 
 TOOTSY, the "Kid," Tim's olive branch Props. 
 
 SYNOPSIS 
 
 Act I. Place: Tim's country home on the Hudson near New 
 York. Time: A breezy morning in September. The Captain's 
 fancy takes a flight and trouble begins. 
 
 Act II. Place: the same. Time: the next morning. How one 
 yarn requires another. "The greatest liar unhung." Now the 
 trouble increases and the Captain prepares for war. 
 
 Act III. Place: the same. Time: Evening of the same da3^ 
 More misery. A general muddle. "Dance or you'll file." Cornered 
 at last. The Captain owns up. All serene. 
 
 Time of playing: Two hours. 
 
 Address Orders to 
 THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 
 CHICAGO. ILLINOIS 
 
The Outcast's Daughter t ^^ Acts 
 
 By MARION EDDY PRICE, 25 CENTS 
 
 Ten male, five female and one child characters. Play^ two and 
 one-half hours. Modern costumes. Three interior, one exterior 
 scenes, all easily arranged where there is any scenery at hand. No 
 stronger melodrama has been given the play-loving public. Full of 
 the strongest appealing heart interest, intense, pathetic, real life, 
 where joy and laughter are mingled with pathos and suffering, but 
 all ending happily. A' melodrama without a villain or the use of 
 firearms. Amateurs may play it successfully, it plays itself, and 
 it is adapted to strong repertoire companies. 
 
 CAST OF CHAitACTERS 
 
 Carl Faber An ex-convict 
 
 Howard Ross A manufacturer 
 
 Dennis Hogan Servant to Ro; s 
 
 Abel Gardener to Ros 8 
 
 Judge Havens Of the police court 
 
 Recorder Of the police court 
 
 Lettner Clerk of police court 
 
 Second Court Clerk Clerk of police court 
 
 Two policemen 
 
 Little Hugo Agatha's child 
 
 Agatha Steme Ross' bookkeeper 
 
 Ida Rheinhold A retired singer 
 
 Mrs. Wilmuth A washerwoman 
 
 Xatie Factory girl 
 
 Frances Factory girl 
 
 SYNOPSIS OF SCENES 
 
 Act 1. Ross' private office. "What has given me the honor of 
 this visit?" "I will never sing again. My life has been a sad 
 failure." "Good God! My mother!" "I have done wrong, I confess, 
 but when a mother asks, a child must forgive. Oh, Mr. Ross, help 
 me." "You, my rich and famous mother, to you I was nothing, 
 and you — you are nothing — nothing to me." "Agatha! Agatha! 
 My child! My child!" 
 
 Act 2. Agatha's attic. "My poor father. So young and strong. 
 How I could have loved him." "Yes, Katie is right, I have nothing 
 but bread for my sweet child." "Madam, I vould lie if I say she 
 vas anything but a lady." "On the other side, towards the garden, 
 there are a few rooms I have never used. If you will take 
 them " "You do not look like a man who could commit mur- 
 der. How was it?" "I was a weak man and many misfortunes 
 made me desperate." "My picture! I must be mad." "You are 
 good, child, but you shall not call me father." "Father! Father!" 
 
 Act 3. Ross' Garden. "He is so good to me, but I cannot forget 
 my poor unhappy father." "The picture was taken when I was 
 young. He shall have it." "Stay here and be my wife." "That 
 suspicious old man is in the garden." "For her I sacrificed every- 
 thing." "Do you want to go to prison again?" "My father needs 
 me to defend and comfort him." 
 
 Act 4. A Police Court. "Do not ask me, your honor — I am an 
 "x-convlct." "Your silence will not help you." "It vas dark und 
 Mrs. Steme vas that scared she vas faint." "I hope, sor, yer honor 
 believes in a future life, sor." "He wished to see his child; I am 
 his child." "Grandfather, we love you." "I am his wife. Do not 
 condemn him." 
 
 Address Orders to 
 
 THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 CHICACaiUINOIS 
 
Practical Instructions for 
 Private Theatricals 
 
 Bt W. D. EMERSON 
 d^nthor of **A Country Eomance/' **The Unknown Bival," 
 
 «* Humble Pie," etc 
 
 Price. 25 cents 
 
 Here *s a l)ractical hand-book, describing m detail all th« 
 accessories, properties, scenes and apparatus necessary for an 
 amateur production. In addition to the descriptions in words, 
 everything is clearly shown in the numerous pictures, more 
 than one hundred being inserted in the book. No such useful 
 book has ever been offered to the amateur players of any 
 30untry 
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 Chapter L Introductory Eemarks. 
 
 Chapter II. Stage, How to Make, etc. In drawing-rooms 
 or parlors, with sliding or hinged doors. In a single large 
 room. The Curtain; how to attach it, and raise it, etc. 
 
 Chapter III. Arrangement of Scenery. How to hang it. 
 Drapery, tormentors, wings, borders, drops. 
 
 Chapter IV. Box Scenes. Center door pieces, plain wings, 
 door wings, return pieces, etc. 
 
 Chapter V. How to Light the Stage. Oil, gas and electric 
 f.ight. Footlights, Sidelights, Reflectors. Kow to darken the 
 stage, etc. 
 
 Chapter VI. Stage Effects. Wind. Eain, Thunder, Break- 
 ing Glass, Falling Buildings, Snow, Water, Waves, Cascades, 
 f'assing Trains, Lightning, Chimes, Sound of Horses' Hoof% 
 Shots. 
 
 Chapter VII. Scene Painting. 
 
 Chapter VIII. A Word to the Property Man. 
 
 Chapter IX. To the Stage Manager. 
 
 Chapter X. The Business Manager. 
 
 Address Orders to 
 THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 
 CHICAGO. ILLINOIS 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 014 211 946 8 t 
 
 And Entertainment Books. 
 
 JfjEING the largest theatrical booksellers ii? 
 ?^ the United States, we keep in stock the most 
 complete and best assorted lines of plays and en- 
 tertainment books to be foimd anywhere. 
 
 We can supply any play or book pub 
 lished. We have issued a catalogue of the best 
 plays and entertainment books published in 
 America and England. It contains a full 
 description of each play, giving number of char- 
 acters, time of playing, scenery, costumes, etc. 
 This catalogue will be sent free on application. 
 
 The plays described are suitable for ama- 
 teurs and professionals, and nearly all of them 
 may be played free of royalty. Persons inter- 
 ested in dramatic books should examine our cat- 
 alogue before ordering elsewhere. 
 
 We also carry a full line of grease paints, 
 face powders, hair goods, and other * 'make-up'* 
 materials. 
 
 The Dramatic Publishing Company 
 CHICAGO